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tsubasagirl · 1 year

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All Yours (NSFW! Gladion x afab!Reader)

18+!!! MINORS DO NOT INTERACT!!! Gladion and reader are aged-up 18 year olds (unlike the canon ages where Gladion is 13-16 and the protagonist is 11), therefore they are consenting adults. I don’t intend to write anything illegal here… Also this is my first time writing actual smut, and I’ve been imagining/fantasising about this one-shot(?) for a long time now. There is another smutty Gladion x afab!Reader (possibly a sequel to this one) that I’ve also had in mind for a while, but I guess we’ll see how this one goes first. Enjoy this whopping 4.3k word long, bitter-sweet/angsty, first time [uh-oh word] one-shot(?)…

Oh and a bonus sketch dump at the end, altho it doesn’t exactly relate to the story and it was drawn over 2 years ago (it’s very self-indulgent; I felt too ashamed and kinda afraid to share it anywhere, especially there being the controversial opinions on self-inserts and all… probably gonna be a tumblr-exclusive art post ahehe…) Of course, there’s just naughty stuff and swearing in here, but nothing extreme to leave a warning about (Also again, as I’ve said with my previous fanfics, feel free to give me any constructive feedback :))

It’s been around a year since I became the champion of Alola, and a year since Gladion became the Aether Foundation president. We also started dating shortly after we claimed our respective roles. We were both often busy doing our own thing, but every once in a while, we would meet up to spend quality time together. Otherwise, we would try our best to get in contact with each other during the little free time we had.

However, from the past few months, Gladion has gotten much busier with his duties as president, so our brief catch-ups via text and phone calls became less frequent, up to a few weeks ago where he stopped contacting me all together. Of course, I’m also busy with my own duties as champion, but as time passes with zero response from him, my mind has been getting more clouded with his absence. It’s for the best if I don’t nag him and let him focus on his work. I’ve also been refraining myself from going to Aether Foundation to check up on him in person, although occasionally, I’ve been asking Wicke on how things have been with him. It was always something like “He’s had to deal with several different responsibilities everyday.” I would also tell her that I trust her to look after him in the meantime, but even so, knowing how reckless and dedicated Gladion is when it comes to accomplishing his goals, I bet he hasn’t been eating or sleeping much…

It’s been almost three months since I’ve last seen him in person. I’m normally content with just texting or calling him regularly, but not being able to play with his soft blonde hair, not being able to stare deeply into his eyes, not being able to melt into his touch — I miss it all so much. I miss him so goddamn much. Whether you wanna see it as deep love or borderline obsession, it’s almost impossible for me to live on normally without it lingering in my mind 24/7.

I mostly have it all together, but it doesn’t help that I’m ultimately just a teenager who tends to get very emotional, sometimes feeling a certain fiery sensation that can’t easily be put out. Every once in a while, when I’m all alone in my room, my mind is completely cluttered with Gladion — I can only visualise his sharp emerald orbs, hungrily eating me up from head to toe, his rasp voice uttering my name with delight, his warm arms wrapped around my form as I immerse into his scent, knowing that he is mine and that I am his — I lose myself in my fantasies of him. Caressing my breasts and fondling their peaks, letting my essence almost soak my bed, massaging my pearl and sliding digits into my folds. It would be sensual at first, but the pace would soon hasten as I think about him more, imagining that it’s him playing with my body, fucking me with his fingers, teasing me with his tongue, satisfying me with his shaft. I want him. I want all of him. I would cry out for him, longing for his love and yearning for his attention.

Now, it’s come to the point where I have a day all to myself… except I have no idea on what to do... How did I end up here? Not mentally but physically standing here in front of the route 8 motel… I’m a mess. I probably look like a fool, having no proper business here, only in sandals, board shorts and a loose tank.

This is where I first met him outside of battle. I just barged in, only to be scolded to get out. What did I even expect back then? Everyone can agree that Gladion comes off as intimidating, and yeah, I was a little frightened when he scolded me, but I also can’t help but chuckle at the memory of that brief encounter. Remembering that moment where you looked miserable after Guzma defeated you, and you muttering how lonely you were… I wish I had met you sooner.

I… didn’t think much into visiting here, huh…? Don’t really have anything else to do… My Pokémon are resting back at home for all their hard work, so it’s just me here at the moment. I hesitantly step into the motel lobby.

I’m greeted by the owner with a gentle smile. “Welco— Oh! Champion [y/n]! What brings you here today?” I nod and smile weakly at her. “Hi. I… just wanted to check something in one of your motel rooms. Do… do you remember the blonde boy who had stayed here up until a year ago?” I stand kinda awkwardly as she thinks for a moment. What am I doing? “Oh, him! The boy who stayed here for two years? My, he sure was a mysterious one. Do you know him?” She looks at me curiously. I stammer, “Y-yes. I don’t know if you know, but from when he left, he’s been really busy taking care of his family business elsewhere, and… he also happens to be my boyfriend, ahehe…” The woman’s face lights up and slightly blushes. “Awww young love! I’m happy for you two.” I scratch the back of my head shyly and blush at the statement. “Thank you, I-I guess… Since he’s been so busy… he… he asked me to come here to find s… something for him… something that he may have accidentally left behind when he was staying here.” What kind of stupid request is this? “Is that so?” She asks with slight confusion. “I don’t recall any lost objects in his room after he left, unless I didn’t check properly.”

She offers the key for the room to me. “No one is staying in there at the moment, so you can take a look in there. I trust that you won’t make a mess in there haha!” I grab the key from her hand and nod, “thank you kindly.” Just as I’m about to turn around and walk out, she suddenly says, “um also, you… don’t look too well. Are you feeling okay?” I pause for a moment, a little caught off guard. Before I put any thought into it, I retort, “I… I’m fine, thank you. Just a bit tired from all the matches I’ve been having lately. It’s… also quite hot today so I probably look a little sweaty haha…” Her concerned expression remains unchanged but she replies, “o… okay… I hope you find the lost thing for your boyfriend. Say hi to him for me.” I only nod in response with a weaker smile. Jeez what is wrong with me?

As soon as I close the door behind me, I stumble my way hastily to Gladion’s former room a little too quickly, fumbling the door handle to unlock it, and bust inside before anyone else sees how much of a mess I am right now. The room is silent and empty. Of course it is. I look around slowly yet frantically, feeling slightly light-headed. Is it the heat, or am I just really tired? What… what am I doing here again? My eyes find a mirror to the right of the room, reflecting my pathetic, slouched posture. God I really do look awful.

My head whips to the bed in front of me. My body automatically flops upon it, slightly bouncing, face first. I groan loudly. I’m such an idiot. I peak one eye to lazily look around the room again. Looks slightly dusty in here. Seems like no one has been here for a while, yet I kinda feel at home. I’m already engulfed by the scent of the bed. Is it just me, or does it smell like him? Am I going crazy? He hasn’t been here it’s been a year of course it’s clean and not fresh with his scent.

I feel a bit more calm as the scent throws me into a trance. I unconsciously release a moan as my hands grip the sheets tightly. It’s like his scent has fully enraptured me. God, I’m hopeless. I tear up, kicking my sandals off my feet and bringing my legs close to me. I don’t care that I’m messing up the sheets at this point. I miss him so fucking much. Before I know it, one of my hands is deep under my shorts and underwear, feeling myself. Not only am I wet with tears but squirming out of horniness. His scent is intensifying the sensation. “Fuck,” I whimper, picking up the pace with my rubbing, “G-Gladion…”

I continue to play with my clit for a few minutes, when I hear creaking from a few rooms down outside. I jolt up and quickly rub my hand dry on my shirt. Crap, my shorts look slightly damp. Hope it just looks like sweat. The door creaks ajar as an oh-too-familiar face peaks from behind it. I briefly freeze in place, gawking at the surprise visitor. He opens the door slowly as he stumbles inside with slight hesitation and possibly shame in his eyes. I suddenly bolt towards him, almost tackling him against the wall as I throw my arms around him in the tightest embrace.

“GLADION! WHAT THE FUCK!” I cry out, sobbing into his shirt. He has one hand rubbing my back and the other caressing my head. He mumbles into my hair, “I’m so sorry, [y/n]. I… don’t think I can give you a good enough of an explanation for being away from you for so long…” I look up at him, feeling like a complete mess but finally whole again, my vision blurry with my overflowing tears. I fight the urge to slap him for making me feel this way, feeling internally destroyed to see how guilty and tired his own face looks. I dig my fingers into his scalp and grumble, “I’m… sorry too… for overreacting like this…” I shove my face into his chest again, engulfing his actual scent this time, “I… I just missed you so fucking much.” He embraces me tighter, stuttering, “you have every right to react this way. I decided to stay away from you so I could focus on my work, yet somehow we still found our way to each other again.”

I pull away and grab his hands, looking up at him again. “Why… why are you here…?” He grasps my hands tenderly and replies, “Wicke forced me to take a day off, and I found myself not knowing what to do, so my only idea was… to come back to where I kinda first started… dunno if that sounds weird…” His thumb rubs onto mind, looking a bit off to the side nervously. I stare blankly for a moment, then giggle, “hehe, funny enough… me too actually… I also have the day off today and didn’t know what to do. Next thing I knew, I found myself wandering here in hopes I could… see you?” Gladion stares back, wide-eyed for another moment, then chuckles, “well… what a turn of events.” We both laugh nervously but happily, and embrace each other once more. It feels like it’s been such a long time since either of us have been this happy, despite how stupid this situation is.

I tug his hand as I guide him to sit beside me on the bed. We stare at each other in awe, feeling kinda refreshed for the first time in what seems like in ages. “So… how’s everything at the foundation?” I ask, slightly swinging my legs back and forth. “Things have been really busy and strenuous, of course. However, I think I’ve gotten kind of a good hang of operations now,” Gladion explains as he briefly looks off into the distance, “and better news — from what I heard from Lillie, she’s only been getting much stronger as a trainer, and mother’s recovery has been going really well,” he rambles with excitement in his eyes, which I can only adore helplessly. “I’m glad things are getter better for you,” I say with a smile. He looks back at me, “…how about you?”

My body gets fluttery all over from the sight of his cute face. God how I missed seeing it, it drives me crazy in love sometimes. “Still going strong as champion!” I smile widely as I playfully flex one of my arms, “there’ve been some tough battles, sure, but I’m still the best! Although, I’m curious if you’ve thought up of some new battle tactics yourself, President Gladion.” His face flushes but he can’t help but beam proudly for me and remarks, “[y/n], you know that I don’t like to be called president… but that’s my champion. As expected of you to remain undefeated.” We’re both grinning from ear to ear as we intertwine our fingers. His face suddenly drops as he looks down and lifts our hands off the bed. “Why is it… slightly damp here…?”

Shit. I quickly retract my hand in a panic. My face heats up more. “Um… um you know how miserable I was b-before? Yea, yea, I was… laying here, sobbing like a baby f-from how much I was missing… you…” Gladion stares at me in confusion, retorting, “but… you were sitting right here, and… wouldn’t your head have been on the pillow…?” More panic. My eyes constantly dart between his face and my knees as I ball my hands upon my legs. I can’t think of any other explanation…

“You… you know as teenagers, w-we start feeling particular emotions w-we didn’t feel as kids? Y-you know, puberty and hormones and s-s-stuff…” I stutter uncontrollably. It clicks in his mind almost immediately, evident as his eyes widen and the red in his face deepens. We both look away, equally as embarrassed. God just kill me already. I avoid eye contact with him as we sit in silence for what feels like an eternity. Eventually, I stand up and start making my way to the door. “It was really stupid of me to have come here in the first place I’m so sor—“

Gladion grabs my wrist. I look back, slightly teared up with shame. He has a serious look in his eyes, staring deeply into mine but still blushing furiously. “Are… those feelings still there…?” His rasp voice huffs. My face couldn’t be any hotter. He couldn’t look any hotter. Fuck. I only slightly nod in response. His voice hitches, “d-do… do you want… me… to relieve those feelings for you…?” My face gets hotter. We stand there for another moment in silence. I nibble my lower lip and nod again.

He pulls me slowly onto his lap as we both sit on the bed again. His hot breath tickles my skin as I look down into his emerald orbs. “You… aren’t the only one who’s been feeling these sorts of feelings, you know…” He caresses my face with one hand and grabs my ass with the other, “I also touch myself when I can’t get you out of my head.” My mouth slightly waters and my heart starts to race tenfold. “And now that we’re together for the first time in ages, I feel like this is the only chance I can have you all to myself.” The fiery sensation overwhelms my whole body again, and I purr, “I’m all yours, President.”

Our mouths latch upon each other, where neither of us hold back any of the hunger that’s been stirring up from the past few months. Our tongues claim every inch of each other’s caverns while our hands slither tenderly yet clamber desperately along each other’s forms. My straddling core shifts rhythmically upon his hardening member, making him grunt and making me moan, soon pulling away to gasp for air. Our hot breaths mix as a thin string of saliva drips on his chin. One of my hands is tangled in his bangs, while the other is raked in his scalp. Our chests heave heavily, foreheads touching. My vision is hazy but I’m still entranced with his orbs.

I sit up to lay on the bed upon my back, dragging him down with me. My hands fall back on both sides of my head, and my legs lay flat with my knees tight together. His aroused expression becomes more nervous and embarrassed, but still huffing with hunger. He hastily slips his shoes off, then pins his hands by my head, legs apart while kneeling with my legs between them. A different kind of tension overcomes the room.

“Um… this… is my first time,” Gladion mumbles, eyes slightly shaky. I bite my lower lip, stammering, “m-me too. I t-trust you with all my heart though. Just… be gentle…” His throat swallows with a big gulp. Slouched over me, he slowly tugs the straps of my top down over my shoulders, revealing my bra. I almost bring my hands inward to cover myself, suddenly feeling ten times more self-conscious. He slightly retracts his hands, also self-conscious about what he’s doing. Fuck my heart is beating like crazy! I take in a deep breath before I awkwardly reach behind me with both of my hands to unlatch my bra strap. His hands lower again to slowly shift the bra up to reveal my bare breasts. I swear, our faces couldn’t be any redder at this point. His hands cramp up, and we freeze for another moment. My breath hitches to break the silence, murmuring, “y-you can do a-a-anything to them…”

Gladion takes in another big gulp, and leans down slowly. His clammy hand hovers over one breast for a moment, then grabs it as gently as possible. A small squeal escapes my lips, making us both jolt in place. I suddenly stutter, “It’s ok! They’re really sensitive, b-but you can keep going.” He briefly sucks in his lips and nods, before proceeding to massage it. Oh my god this feels completely different from when I touch myself holy shit! I attempt to muffle my audible delight as he plays with it more, fascinated by its soft touch. He soon grazes a thumb over my stiff peak, making me release another squeal. With curiosity in his gaze, he starts fondling it, and his other hand grabs my other breast with more enthusiasm. My hips squirm more, as I fail to repress a gasp. My skin is tingling from his hot breath, burning as his eyes examine my hard buds as his fingers fondle them more roughly.

He finally takes it into his mouth, sending a whole new, electrifying sensation throughout my body. FUCK! He sucks it rhythmically, picking up the pacing with his other hand. My whole body is a squirming mess, and I stop trying to hold my moans in. My hand holds the back of his head as he licks my bud frantically. “Yes, yes! That’s it! G-Gladion!!” I gasp with delight. He quickly switches to my other breast to eat it up like there’s no tomorrow, other hand crazily playing with the freshly sucked breast. I’m practically hyperventilating, as my grip tightens in his scalp. In between licks and sucks, he sloppily growls, “I fucking love how you say my name!”

Without a warning, my lower back arches violently as my essence leaks from my shorts. Gladion pulls away, as I quiver and pant uncontrollably, my vision hazy again. “I… I… I j-just came,” I whimper, “b-but… I want you… inside of me.” He’s speechless, now less red with a new sense of confidence written in his face, but still nervous as hell. I push myself up to remove my top and bra, as he sits there, still in a daze. “But first,” I mutter, tugging his shirt as I eat him with my eyes, “I also want to see you… undressed…”

Gladion’s face suddenly drains, looking down to the floor for a moment. “Uh… okay… j-just for you… but just so you know,” he looks back at me hesitantly, “my body isn’t a-anything impres—“ “I don’t care about how you look!” I retort, grabbing his shoulders with reassurance. “I love you, no matter how vulnerable you may feel. No one is perfect. As I said, I trust you with all my heart. I… just hope you return those feelings…” He cups my face to kiss my forehead, then mutters, “O-of course I do… I’m… just nervous…”

Trying not to hesitate, he slowly pulls his shirt over his head and tosses it to the floor, revealing his lean form. I stare in awe. I know that he’s a bit self-conscious about how pale he is… but he’s brave for doing this… He looks into my eyes again, mumbling, “now that I’ve seen your breasts, you… probably want to see my… dick… right?” I nod almost way too enthusiastically, feeling my face flush and my heart racing again. “J-just to see and… maybe t-touch… I can s-s-suck it another time…” I stammer, hands tightening into fists on my knees.

His eyes widen, and an unexpectedly huge smile spreads upon his face as he suddenly pulls me into a tight hug. “Fuck! Stop being so cute my heart can’t take it!” My whole body goes limp as I watch him swing his legs off the bed to unfasten his pants. Pulling them off, only in his underwear now, it was now visibly obvious how hard he is. I quickly cover my mouth with the back of my hand. “Fuck” is all I mutter. I’m already hard again. With hunger in his eyes, he remarks, “make it quick so I can get inside of you.” Before I can even process how hot he sounded, he finally pulls off his underwear, his member springing out with a slight bounce, with a few droplets of pre-cum dripping from its head.

Now I’m the once who’s fascinated. Although I can’t see Gladion’s face as I take a closer look at it, I can sense him burning up from this sudden exposure. He reaches over to the dresser next to the bed as I stroke it, making him shudder. I snap out of my entrancement when I hear him tearing a packet open. The serious fire from earlier is in his eyes again as he stammers, “y-you can’t play with it today, but you can put this on f-for me.” I can only gawk as he hands the condom to me and stands his boner upwards. Not at what he’s holding, but just over the situation we’re about to get into…

I take a deep gulp as I place the condom on top and roll it on. I lay on the bed again, nodding to invite him to remove my shorts for me, which he does with ease. He desperately removes my soaked underwear and spreads my legs open, briefly examining my lips as I part them with my fingers. I gasp, unable to hold back my excitement. No more foreplay — I want to feel you inside me right now. He positions his member and slowly sinks it into my entrance. We both moan loudly, then he mutters, “fuck it’s so tight and hot! I’m already so close!” I pant heavily, “me too…” I intertwine my fingers with his on both sides of my head, “you… can start slow… then pick up the pace when you can’t hold it in anymore.”

Gladion nods and starts to thrust very slowly. I’m struggling to keep my eyes open while the fire in my core consumes me, but now I can truly see how his eyelashes flicker shut, his lips parted while huskily breathing, sweating but flushing with passion — my fantasies of him pale in comparison to his actual aroused expression. As he huffs heavily, I moan melodically, “holy shit you feel so good!” The pace of his thrusting gradually picks up, increasing the volume of my moans, and our clammy hands grip even tighter. “I love you so fucking much, [y/n]!” He growls into my ear, sending sensations from my face to my bucking groin. “Keep saying my name, I fucking love it!!” I gasp monstrously, wrapping my legs around his hips as the other end of his cock frantically rams into my ass. The euphoric ecstasy reaches its highest peak as he slams into me for the last time, making us scream each other’s names almost simultaneously. I feel it spasm inside me as he almost collapses upon me. We gasp loudly for air, my eyes scrunched with only stars in my vision. Holy… shit…

After Gladion collects his breath, he slowly pulls out and turns us both over to lay on our sides. The bed is soaked in sweat, and our lower areas are drenched with my essence, but neither of us care. He stares at me dreamily and whispers with a smirk, “well… did I relieve your feelings…?” I sloppily link my arm with his and giggle, “no shit you did hehe… you being here was enough but you really brought it all… must be a new tactic you came up with.” He chuckles and brushes stray hairs from my sweaty face, seemingly satisfied with his work.

Other than the sexual tension we had, it seems like neither of us can take the actual heat anymore as we roll on our backs away from each other, laughing. We lay in silence for yet another moment, when I’m struck with another dumb idea. “What if… we stayed here for the night…?” I suggest, turning my head to look back at Gladion. He pouts as he thinks about it, then turns his head to me and says, “fuck it why not? Who’s gonna stop the most powerful people of Alola?” We laugh again.

Eventually, we both get up clumsily to clean ourselves off in the bathroom. We then decided to hang out until evening, and have our first sleep together without a care in the world. We can deal with the mess we made in the morning anyway…

As the bottom right text says, Forgive my horny ass idk whether to be proud (of these drawings) or ashamed (fucking a fictional character)

#gladion #pokemon sun and moon #gladion x reader #gladion headcanons #smut #my text #buronzuwyngzu doots

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brighteyedbushybrowed · 1 year

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𝐓𝐡𝐨𝐬𝐞 𝐏𝐫𝐞𝐭𝐭𝐲 𝐄𝐲𝐞𝐬 𝐏𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝟐

Part 2 to this post, this time with the ghoulettes! Hopefully you guys enjoy it as much as the first part :) I don't know if Sunshine is an air ghoul or has a different element, so to be safe I've not made any reference to her having an element just in case I get it wrong. Once again, there's no smut but it is a little suggestive so minors DNI please I don't have the energy for boundary crossing tonight.

Also fun fact tumblr fucking didn't automatically save this while I was writing like it does other fics and when I went to post it they logged me out so I had to remember everything I wrote and rewrite it again. In tears rewriting it rn so sorry if it's shit quality I'm working on fury and questionable memory recall.

𝐂𝐮𝐦𝐮𝐥𝐮𝐬

The air ghoul smiled as she leaned back against the glass of the greenhouse exterior, leaning into your grip on her chin. Cumulus had been well aware that you'd developed feelings for her - feelings which she reciprocated - and had been waiting for you to make the first move. Nothing would have upset her more than accidentally making you uncomfortable if you weren't ready for a relationship or didn't want to act upon your feelings. But, now that you had made the first move and pushed her up against the glass exterior of the greenhouse, she was relieved that she hadn't accidentally misinterpreted your flirtatious interactions.

"You call my eyes pretty," she said, "yet yours are the prettiest eyes in the whole ministry, sweet thing."

You rolled your eyes but grinned. "Yeah, but you're the one with glowy green eyes. How can I compete with that? Mine don't even have a little tiny bit of luminescence or glow to them."

Cumulus tilted her head at you. "Now that's not a fair comparison to make, is it? Would you compare a tangerine and a tomato? We're both different species."

"Are you... are you calling me fruity?" you replied in amusement, eyebrow raised.

The air ghoul chuckled then pulled you in for a kiss, the two of you sighing into one another as you allowed the moment to take you. The gentle breeze tickled your skin and brought with it the delicate scent of Primo's flowers. Birdsong travelled through the air towards her, and Cumulus felt her soul soar.

"Mm," you hummed as you both parted, panting to catch your breath. "You taste like cinnamon. Has Mountain been baking again?"

The air ghoul nodded excitedly. "Oh Sathanas, yes! We made cookies for you and the rest of the ghouls if you'd like some. Swiss tried to help and almost burned the kitchen down when Sodo decided to join in, but we managed to make a pretty decent batch."

Excitedly, you stepped away from her and began to tug on her hand. "Well, let's go! I wanna taste exactly what you both made for me!"

𝐂𝐢𝐫𝐫𝐮𝐬

Cirrus decided to ignore the dissonant clashing of her keytar as you pushed her up against the wall of the practice room, a smirk on her face as she stared into your eyes. Admittedly, she hadn't expected you to burst into the room in the middle of her practicing the Mummy Dust solo ready for the next tour, but she wasn't complaining either. She could never complain when someone so delectable took charge like that.

"Well well, if it isn't my favourite sibling of sin," she purred, leaning into your touch. "What brings you to my humble little corner of the abbey? Are you so unable to resist me that you couldn't wait for me to finish? How scandalous of you."

The air ghoul felt a rush of excitement and satisfaction at the way you huffed at her. There was little else that got her blood racing than your back and forth flirting, treading closer and closer each time to just saying fuck it and having each other there and then.

Cirrus pouted mockingly at you. "Aw, what's wrong? Is big bad Cirrus being a meany and teasing you? You make the cutest expressions, you know. So cute I could just... eat you up."

"Bold of you to assume you'd get to eat me up at all. Who says I wouldn't be the one doing the eating?" Your tone had bite to it, but it was all in good fun. You both enjoyed riling each other up like this. It was as exhilarating to Cirrus as getting caught up in the whipping winds of a storm.

Effortlessly shrugging off the keytar and placing it on the floor, she yanked you into a clumsy kiss by the front of your shirt, teeth clacking as you both fought for control. Fighting for power was her favourite part of her bedroom antics, but nobody fought back like you did. Nobody challenged her in the same way. She was so used to entrancing and enrapturing crowds, adoring fans all too willing to do anything she wanted. You provided her with the excitement that they would never dare to.

And fuck did she love it.

You bit her bottom lip as you pulled away, hard enough that if Cirrus were a human her lip would've been bleeding. Just that hint of pain was enough for her to decide to let you win. For now.

"Why don't you take me back to your room and show me what you've got then, sugar?"

𝐒𝐮𝐧𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐞

"Oh my," Sunshine gasped out, palms pressed against the door leading to the bathroom as you pushed her up against it. She was acutely aware of the fact that this wasn't a completely private setting or scenario, aware that a ghoul could walk in at any moment and catch you both. Maybe if this had been a few weeks ago, she would have ran away all flustered. However, something in the newest ghoul had changed. You had changed her and brought out something she didn't realise she had within her: confidence.

"Has anyone ever told you your eyes are like the sun?" you asked, your gaze fixed on hers. "Because you light up my world."

She giggled and felt her face heat up. "Yes, actually. You have. Every time we hang out. Do you not get bored of saying it?"

Do you not get bored of me?

Sunshine tried to hide it the moment the seed of doubt entered her mind, but she knew she'd failed when your expression changed from playful to thoughtful.

"Never." Your noses bumped as you rested your forehead against hers. "I'll never get bored of saying it, and I'll never get bored of you. I promise."

Your words quickly chased away her moment of uncertainty. She was getting better at believing in herself. You wouldn't seek her out if you weren't interested in her, nor would you lie to her just for her benefit. She knew that you spoke the truth and that provided a sense of comfort and security she'd longed for ever since she was summoned.

Not wanting you to see her tear up, the ghoul pulled you into a hug and held onto you tightly as you both leaned up against the door. She felt your arms wrap around her and squeeze you, rocking ever so slightly. Your scent filled her senses and allowed her to melt into you.

"Thank you," she whispered, wet rolling down her cheeks and dampening her eyelashes. If you knew she was crying you didn't mention it.

"I speak only the truth," you told her, not daring to pull back. You were perfectly content to stay like this for a while if that was what she needed. "The ministry wouldn't be the same without you. You bring so much light and joy to this place and you don't even realise it. The ghouls are happier with you around. You make their lives better. You make my life better."

Sunshine didn't reply. Instead, she sniffled and buried her face in your neck as you both continued to hold one another.

#a little spicy #cumulus ghoulette #cirrus ghoulette #sunshine ghoulette #cumulus x reader #cumulus x gn!reader #cirrus x reader #cirrus x gn!reader #sunshine x reader #sunshine x gn!reader #the band ghost #fanfic #my fanfic #mine

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skeppsbrott · 1 year

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Rating Nobel Dinner outfits

I’m home sick so we’re gonna look at the most specialiest of awards shows, ie the one where a bunch of very intelligent and/or rich and/or influential and/or un/lucky people get to eat a very expensive dinner on camera. I am Swedish and obviously biased but here we go.

Warning for long post so if you’re on your PC press J to skip and if you’re on phone idk suffer or something.

Starting off with the Swedish royal house because idk they’re the hosts?

Okay they’re not but whatever.

Fun fact, I once had a teacher who worked in the castle wardrobes and the specifications about who gets to wear what and how and when is out of this world. LEFT TO RIGHT:

QUEEN SILVIA – Best part of this is the colour contrast between the purple and the baby blue. Looks kinda cheap aside from that. I am sure the lace fabric is very high in quality but my immediate reference is always going to be F21 tumblr girlies anno 2013. 4/10

CROWN PRINCESS VICTORIA – Looks like the collective American imagination of what a Crown Princess looks like so it is sort of like reviewing the concept of socks. That said, what is going on with the puckered hem? Queen also seems to have this issue. Come on. 5/10

PRINCESS CHRISTINA – Aspirational grandmother aesthetic. Cute! 6/10

PRINCESS SOFIA – Setting a standard, as it were. The high and decorated collar, the subtle quality of the material and colour, the cut of the skirt. I have some concerns about the end of the sleeves but if this was the minimum bar for royal gala wear I might be tempted by royalism. 7/10

Oh and you may notice a suspicious absence of menswear in this list and that is because those who wear anything but immaculate white tie are intensely rare.

THE NOBEL LAURATES

Ok so again with the white tie cavalcade but I want to give a shout out for laurate in medicine Svante Pääbo who 1) assumed he was gay until he met his wife and colleague Linda Vigilant and fell for her “boyish charms” before 2) proceeding to move in with her and her husband to live in some sort of throuple? Altogether, the bisexual representation we deserve.

LINDA VIGILANT – They’re a bit difficult to spot but there are DNA spirals on her shawl! Very synyhetic looking but understated colour with some lovely amber jewellery that looks excellent on her. Love the big chunky glasses. 7/10

ANNIE ERNAUX – Laurate in literature. Exactly what I think of when I think of “dignified French authoress”. 5/10

CAROLYN R. BERTOZZI – Laurate in chemistry. Very good use of two-toned fabric and sparkles. The slight pinstripe gives it something to hold onto, even if it doesn’t photograph well. 8/10

BETH PRICE – Partner of Bertozzi. First same-sex Nobel laurate partner. Can’t really see the dress but I am always biased towards black and red two-tone and she looks handsome in it. 6/10

PHAEDRIA MARIE ST. HILAIRE – Partner of Morten Meldal (laurate in chemistry). I haaaate the train. Looked super cheap in motion as well and especially when contrasted with Vigilant’s DNA spirals. 3/10

THE SWEDISH PARTY LEADERS

Head of parliament is Ulf Kristersson and he is a despicable little man, contrasted with the leader of the Liberal party Johan Pehrson, who is a despicable big man. Additionally there is Jimmy Åkesson who is leader of the Sweden Democrats and simply despicable. But he wasn’t invited so at least there is that. Sole representative of the conservatives is thus Ebba Busch:

EBBA BUSCH – Christian Democrat. Some of my friends were really into this but again with the lace fabric… I also think it is very bottom heavy and unflattering. It’s like someone mashed up a wedding dress and a Victorian mourning gown. At least the bodice is flattering. 4/10

ANNIE LÖÖF – Centre party. Obligatory green dress on a redhead. I like that it is deceptively simple, I like the train, I like the use of a visually interesting fabric but maybe it is a bit too much. Wish she would have gone with a statement necklace + more narrow sleeves. 6/10

NOOSHI DADGOSTAR – Leftist party. There is nothing revolutionary about this dress but at least it sits well on her. Next. 3/10

MAGDALENA ANDERSSON – Social Democrat. Perfectly executed simplicity. Gorgeous fabric. Flattering cut. True mother-of-the-country moment. Ulf watch your back because this is a political revenge dress. 9/10

MÄRTA STENEVI – Green party. Not visible here is the ouster shell jewellery which I LOVED. Environmentalism aside this dress fucks and I love it. The smooth upper chest area combined with the fluffy and busy skirt and sleeves? The colours? Playful and attention grabbing and sincere all at the same time. 10/10

OTHERS

RUFUS WAINWRIGHT – Musician. Perhaps the only time Wainwright will out-rockstar Kevin Shields (who is here as partner to the daughter of one of the laurates). Admittedly a bit of a walk over but I like it! 7/10

ELIN KLINGA – Actress. When contrasted with Stenevi this becomes exponentially more horrifying. @ Nobel fashion coverage please stop putting this in front of my eyes. 2/10

WHOEVER THIS IS (member of Samédiggi?) – Excellent use of gákti. Land rights for Sámi/10

PERNILLA MÅNSSON COLT – TV host. Could be the platonic ideal of a black velvet evening gown but I don’t like the fit and I don’t like the fabric. 5/10

JESSIKA GEDIN – TV host. Exemplary queering of the male white tie ensemble. Excellent nails and other details. Could only be improved by being part of a pair. 9/10

CECILIA GRALDE – TV host. Very flattering colour and looks great in motion but genuinely the toned glasses are what makes this look. The MILF of the nation. 8/10

VICTORIA DYRING – TV host. Hair buns! Though looks kinda Star Wars when combined with the wrap collar? Big fan of the well-executed one-massive-sleeve. 7/10

#nobel banquet #bluh bluh #svenskheter

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sleepymarmot · 9 months

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Phantom Thread (2017)

[Finally forcing myself to post the reviews of films I watched earlier this year. Saw this one on January 29th — almost exactly seven months ago! As usual, I also post the notes I took while watching, so scroll down a bit if you only want the review.]

Liveblog

The dress is pretty but it doesn’t sit well on her at all.

Damn that was quite a rude way to hit on a perfect stranger

Girl has no sense of self-preservation! What do you mean you get into the car of a customer you talked to for two minutes, after dark?!

Wow he put his fingers in the sauce, is that normal for rich British men or is that another creepy flirting method? That’s unhygienic, please use your own food for innuendo

Oh my god Cyril is immediately acting creepy also

“My job to give you some. (beat) If I choose to.” Dude lmao…

“You have the ideal shape. He likes a little belly.” Ok first of all, insane thing to say once again. Secondly, w h e r e

I like this dress even less. Weird skirt, looks uncomfortable.

Why did he bring his sister to their date

“How early?” “I’ll wake you.” …

The fabric conversation… Is this negging again or is he for real

I really thought Cyril would say “Maybe you’re being too fussy.” I guess Alma has not yet leveled up enough to get quoted verbatim

“But, please, don’t let her sit around waiting for you.” Ha, now Cyril is repeating Alma’s words without even knowing Does Cyril not drink from the kettle? That was kind of risky…

The wedding dress is ugly Oh, he said it himself, okay

Damn, all of these women have to work overtime because of this couple’s power plays

He went from “I want a divorce” to “We’re doing food poisoning based BDSM” awfully quickly

Wait where’s that text post about being poisoned by your wife... Was it inspired by this movie lol

Ok so we all agree Reynolds is autistic, with his routines and picky eating and misophonia

---

Review

How come Tumblr has never mentioned this one to me? Feels silly to say “where have you all been hiding this” about a Best Picture nominee from five years ago, but still. This is literally a romance between “ok first of all i didnt "miss" the red flags i looked them and thought yeah thats sexy” and “love my terrible wife […] when we eat dinner ill smile and say “poison again ?” and she will shrug mischievously but we both know it is very much poison”!

General notes

Set design, cinematography and lighting were beautiful. In our age of murky shots, it’s remarkable to see a film that’s never underlit — sometimes even the opposite. Wasn’t a fan of the grain, though; the flickering is hard on the eyes, and in the copy I watched it looked like a low quality rip instead of a warm nostalgic analogue look that I assume was intended. The sound side was as good as the visuals: this might be the first time I actually noticed the sound design, and the score was nothing less than what I expected of Jonny Greenwood.

I have mixed feelings about the costuming. Some of the dresses are beautiful… but the two most important ones, the very first dress we see and the very first dress made for Alma, didn’t fit the wearers’ silhouettes, and looked stiff and uncomfortable.

Some of the dialogue, mostly at the beginning, felt unnatural; not sure if that’s just me not being a native speaker, since nobody else had the same complaint.

I didn’t get “never cursed”. Was that a statement Reynolds secretly made about himself, or a lucky charm referring to the princess’ marriage? Why did Alma rip the label out? Why did she join the seamstresses in the first place — did she feel guilty that they got caught in the crossfire and had to work overtime because of her, or did she just want to inspect the dress? I also don’t understand why people seem to adore the New Year’s Eve scene.

Do you think Alma told the doctor the whole story, or just talked about their relationship but left out the poisonings? I think it would be unwise to tell that to anyone lest they call the police…

In the sections below, I am going to talk negatively about Reynolds a lot. So I want to clarify first: I do sympathize with Reynolds in many ways; I wouldn’t want a new person to get in the way of my habits, and I would be unhappy with the surprise dinner too. And that’s also exactly why I don’t invite strangers to live with me and interrupt my routines then get mad at them for that, you know…

Filing this one as “Movies I wouldn’t want to watch or discuss with my mother even though there’s zero sex and nudity on screen”. I don’t know which part would be more awkward, the Freudian subtext or everything else…

The omelette

I’ve recently acquired a bad habit of reading too much about movies before watching. In this case it was probably a good thing, though: without the spoilers, I doubt I would have seen this any time soon, or managed to sit through the first hour. Luckily, I didn’t know the key element of the omelette scene, and still managed to have a proper first time viewing experience as it slowly dawned on me that Reynolds was aware of everything and the poisoning was going to be consensual this time.

That scene, and the follow-up interactions between Alma and Reynolds in the cottage (excluding the daydreaming flash-forwards, which I have mixed feelings about), were, unsurprisingly, my favorite part of the film. Many reviews quote Alma’s monologue (which, as I realize now, I might have originally encountered in a joke screenshot with zero context) or the line Reynolds says in response, so I’ll highlight some other things. The contrast between how simple and ordinary their actions are on the surface (cooking, serving food, eating, talking at the table) and how wild the meaning of these actions is; the mix between a duel, a dance and a negotiation that mostly consists of extremely mundane movements. The intense eye contact, the “I know that you know that I know”. How Alma put too much butter in his food and poured water too loudly for too long, and he accepted it without complaint but with the same calm and clarity as the poison. How they look genuinely happy, in love, and on the same page for the first time in the entire film. How easily he says “I love you”.

The omelette discourse

…And now that I’ve documented my immediate positive emotional response, it’s time for some overthinking and complaining. Perhaps everything I say below can be dismissed by saying “they’re both awful and deserve each other, that’s the point haha”, but that’s not a mode my brain can stay in for long. So please bear with me, or just skip this section.

Because no matter how exciting and cathartic that ending is, I can’t help but ask: what next? Is this experience going to let Reynolds finally grow out of his cycle of childlike helplessness and patriarchal despotism, instead of solidifying it? What are we supposed to infer — that the poisonings are going to be a regular occurrence from now on, or that they will become unneeded as Reynolds gradually mellows out? (The former would, realistically, have diminishing returns and practical complications like “people are going to start asking questions”, and the latter kind of goes against the celebratory kink-positive tone of the film’s grand finale.) Are we to believe that Alma’s poison is an antidote to Reynolds’s toxic masculinity, and that the more he submits to Alma the more he can tolerate her when things go back to normal, until the two of them grow to exist harmoniously?

I guess there is some evidence of that process already beginning. When Reynolds bounces back after the first poisoning, he’s slightly less mean to Alma than before the marriage. Alma’s poisoning is also less destructive the second time: consent, no collateral damage, not on the eve of an important deadline, she agrees to call the doctor.

I think the film wants the viewer to think that by the end, Reynolds and Alma’s mutual toxicity cancels itself out, and they manage to reach a harmonious equilibrium. That might be true of the first poisoning, where Alma retaliates against Reynolds’s abuse with some of her own. At the mid-point of the film, their vileness is pretty evenly matched. After that first poisoning, there’s a brief honeymoon period. Then Reynolds goes back to berating Alma, disregarding her feelings, and being dissatisfied with her presence in his life… And in response to Reynolds making her feel unloved, Alma does something that makes Reynolds feel loved. In the end, the score is still in Reynolds’s favor instead of being even. Even in Alma’s daydreams of their happily ever after, the closing monologue of the film, there is no mention of Reynolds changing to accommodate her, only of Alma changing to accommodate him: “I am older and I see things differently, and I finally understand you.”

Perhaps here the story structure and the balance of power between the characters are in conflict; it makes sense to end the film on the strong scene that changes the relationship in a major way — but that means the viewer doesn’t get to know if that change leads to improvement. We never learn if Reynolds eventually becomes a better partner; we only know that Alma is committed to him either way.

No matter how satisfying the couple’s new arrangement is to watch, I don’t see how it would help with the actual problems in their relationship. They are at different stages of life, and that exacerbates the natural differences between their temperaments. Reynolds doesn’t respect Alma as an equal; he insults her and allows others to insult her to his face. He has immense power and privilege over her socially and materially. He has a career that he loves and a devoted sister, but she has no life outside of him — no friends, family, interests, hobbies, income, etc. — and it’s hard to tell if it’s sexist writing, intended characterization, or both.

How is any of that going to be helped by them growing closer emotionally? You two found a love language you have in common and unlocked a new level of intimacy and mutual understanding, congratulations! Is it going to broaden Alma’s horizons and opportunities? Is it going to give Reynolds more progressive views and social awareness, enough to at least defend the honor of his lower class wife? Is he going to stop being emotionally abusive because he is emotionally fulfilled?

This would imply that Reynolds behaves the way he does simply because he is too high-strung and he just needs to take a chill pill. That the problems in their relationship can be reduced to him being a control freak, and once he gets accustomed to giving up control and learns to enjoy it, and then he’ll be a good partner. Sorry, but it’s hard for me to believe that one can tame, let alone fix someone by domming them.

The film seems to attempt a subversion of the patriarchal, hierarchical “artist/muse” “upper class/working class” “man/woman” power dynamics. But the characters do not dismantle that existing power imbalance: instead, they build something new and mutually satisfying on top of it. The film intentionally avoids the feminist wish fulfillment route: Alma doesn’t liberate herself, and she doesn’t even want to. It’s a fairy tale where the Beast doesn’t really become a better person, so the Beauty becomes a worse one to “match” him… but she’s still locked inside his castle. Alma doesn’t abandon the role of a muse, only adds another traditionally feminine role to it: mother. As Feminist Frequency’s review puts it, “Traditional, restrictive gender roles are not escaped; one set is just briefly swapped out for another.” Related: it might be just a consequence of Reynolds’s chosen trade, but the people Alma walks over in her bids for his attention are always women (Barbara Rose, the seamstresses).

Speaking of motherhood… What happens when the woman who likes to treat her husband like a baby gets a real baby? How does she split her time between them? Does she end up neglecting one of them, does that make Reynolds jealous or more abusive? Or will he by that time have gone through enough personal growth to be actually fit for fatherhood? An interview with an expert on Alma’s specific brand of abuse asks an even more worrying question: “I also wondered about the baby at the end, because those who engage in the behavior are likely to do it [again] when similar situations arise. So as the baby gains skills of emancipation, would Alma be equally threatened by that? I saw the baby and thought: Oh no, it may be at risk.”

Perhaps I am being overly cynical and uncharitable here because of who made the film. When an artist with a history of being cruel to his girlfriend writes a story about an artist being cruel to his girlfriend, and makes the fictional girlfriend abusive too, how can I not question it? This film was already very awkward to approach and enjoy as a fan of Fiona Apple, even regardless of its content.

The relationship development

Another thing that didn’t work very well for me in the final sequence is something that also applies to the other parts of the film: the internal logic of the couple’s relationship development. Reynolds goes from “This was a mistake, I can’t live like this, I want a divorce” to “Intoxicate me now 😏 With your lovin’ now 😍 I think I’m ready now 😳” in the space of one cut. These scenes are directly adjacent with no development between them. It makes sense from Alma’s perspective (“what an asshole he’s being, he needs to be poisoned ASAP”), but not from Reynolds’s.

On Alma’s side, though, there’s also a bit of weirdness: Alma to Reynolds: Don’t worry babe you’re not gonna die, I’ll take care of you <3 Alma to the doctor: If he died that’d be fine by me, we’d just meet in the afterlife ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ I really can’t tell how I am supposed to take this, and which of the men she was lying to!

But let’s go back to the beginning of the film. Throughout the initial phase of the relationship, I was sure that Reynolds chose playful bullying as his flirting tactic consciously, but later in the film he showed so little self-awareness that I started to suspect he thought that was a normal way to show interest in a girl you just met. Either way, I was surprised that the way he condescended to her changed considerably when the seduction was over, though in retrospect it makes sense. On Alma’s side, there was a similar shift: she was far more welcoming of his insulting methods of flirting than I would expect from a self-respecting adult with a strong personality, and started rebelling when they settled into domesticity. Perhaps the domineering attitude of a handsome stranger showering her with attention was exciting at first, but when their relationship became routine, she quickly grew sick of being treated like a second class citizen in what has become her own home. (I wasn’t joking with the quote at the top of the review: it was my genuine and immediate impression that Alma goes along with the 342561 red flags exhibited during the very first day not because she’s a doormat but because she’s a freak.)

The love at first sight didn’t work for me, as well as the couple’s determination to stay together despite their incompatibility. I’m just not convinced that they actually love each other as entire human beings. They do love certain sides of each other. Reynolds loves the muse with the perfect measurements; the assistant totally devoted to him; the new woman (future) finally displacing his older sister (present) and mother (past) while, unlike them, also being his sexual partner. Alma loves the genius who makes her feel beautiful and important. They both love the persona the other assumes in a caretaking scenario. But is there a deeper connection? Do they actually love each other unconditionally, not just the aspects of each other that fulfill their needs? I’ve seen quotes in confirmation of that from PTA and Vicky Krieps — but the text itself provides no satisfactory evidence of that.

Obligatory comparisons with other films

I like to chain movies together because of themes or character dynamics they share. A couple of reviews for Crimes of the Future mentioned this film, and I decided to watch it next assuming that the similarities start and end with the relationship between an aging artist and a strong-willed younger woman. Turns out, these two films also make an interesting double feature because in some ways they’re an inverse of each other. Crimes of the Future and its main couple wear abnormality on their sleeve, but the central relationship is healthy and stable; Phantom Tread appears classy and family-friendly, hiding the more shocking aspects of the relationship beneath the luxurious surface. Both films are very sensual without the conventional sex scenes, but the approach is diametrically opposite: Crimes of the Future circumvents the content rating system, managing to put explicit scenes on screen just because they don’t contain specific banned body parts; Phantom Thread purposefully and conspicuously avoids showing any sex or nudity to preserve the aesthetic and make other scenes feel more charged. The protagonist’s old age is important in both: for Saul, it’s deteriorating health and conservatism towards newer ideologies and ways of interacting with and modifying one’s body; for Reynolds, it is the decades of habit and privilege making him internalize the belief that his own authority, taste, routines are something absolute and unquestionable.

A bigger surprise was the two films also shared the theme of food and eating. Crimes of the Future: eating as a fundamental bodily function, food as means of sustenance, and the politics of food; Phantom Thread: eating as pleasure, food as means of human connection, and the power dynamics of feeding and being fed. Both films go deeper than the surface: food is not just something that is served and tasted, but chewed, swallowed, and digested, which is not necessarily a smooth and uncomplicated process. Phantom Thread’s exploration of the food theme is probably the best one I’ve seen so far not just in film but in any media, and the only one I can think of where “food as love and sex” made sense for me.

Choosing The Favourite as the next film to watch after this one was a good choice too: they also had some things in common. There’s a young woman winning an older and more powerful person’s affection by taking care of them while they’re sick, there are toxic relationship, there’s even literal poison... The older parties are similarly spoiled and eccentric but very different in certain important ways, and the protagonists are even more alike.

People have mentioned this film’s similarities to Rebecca, which I haven’t read or watched; my own first thought was about Misery, which I also haven’t read or watched. Out of the films I’ve seen before, there’s Crimson Peak — someone made an entire Venn diagram for their similarities. I’ve also seen comparisons with a number of other films, mostly ones I haven’t seen. Is Phantom Thread more intertextual than the usual or is that just me?

#phantom thread #liveblogs and reviews #blah blah blah #maybe i should stop trying to write coherent reviews...#i wrote most of this right away but the task of making it readable has been weighing me down for months and drained so much energy from me

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1kook · 4 years

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A COLLECTION [ updated: 8 . 23 . 21 ]

—NETFLIX & CHILL.

summary If you planned things right, you could rain down your raging displeasure on Jeon Jungkook right after the meal but before this proposed ‘Netflix and chilling,’ maybe dramatically throw your glass of wine at him, before storming out of his place and reporting him to the authorities (Namjoon) for his douchebag personality. warnings smut in the forms of grinding, oral (f), cum eating, vanilla unprotected sex, dirty talk misc use of the oldest trick in the book (“your hands are sooo big”), shy oblivious AND gentleman jk? pick a struggle, brief ment of app developer kook, evil and conniving oc word count 10.2k posted june 12, 2020

—HULU & WOOHOO.

summary But there’s more important matters to attend to than Jungkook’s Jersey Shore boner. warnings slight feelings of insecurity, smut in the forms of fingering, cunnilingus, cum eating, squirting, hand jobs, unprotected sex, riding, slight praise kink misc if you’re not a Jersey shore fan honestly GET OUT, mentions of capitalism😡, more kind/understanding kook, basically a “what are we?” fic but silly, irresponsible emailing habits, its so dumb just read word count 6.3k posted july 4, 2020

—IMAX & CLIMAX.

summary The occasional dark horse candidate among Barbie movie binges— Jungkook gets weirdly horny and fucks you to the tune of a classic Barbie movie soundtrack. warnings smut in the form of blowjobs, tit play, praise kink, standing sex, unprotected sex, reverse cowgirl (? kinda), daddy kink that morphs into ily kink misc jk is an avid history channel viewer, jk hates Barbie movies ik we took an L today girls 😔, jk goes thru like 4 personality changes (commanding > soft > mean > in love), honestly idk what to tag it’s a mess, he’s still cheesy and romantic but also 👀 just read word count 9.8k posted august 5, 2020

—KISSANIME & FOREPLAY.

summary You get a glimpse of the KissAnime screen for a good two seconds before about seven ads pop up. Another tab to a raunchy hentai website opens, and Jungkook groans. warnings mentions of hentai, smut in the forms of cunnilingus, masturbation (f), oral (f), use of a sex toy, fingering, nipple play, face sitting/fucking/riding idk (f), praise kink, hints of dumbification, cum eating, jk is like passive aggressive in this one, 4 (f) orgasms, this is the kicker: sub kook at the end😳, like 2 sec of dom yn lol, & u get 0.002 sec of adams apple kink misc more dumb story lines, made up sex stores bc my creativity knows no bounds, Jungkook plays nice but is actually mean for the majority of it, once again doyeon plays a pivotal role in the furthering of women empowerment, internal love monologues about jk best boy<3 word count 8.2k posted september 1, 2020

—DISNEY+ & BUST.

summary There’s a pounding on your door a little past noon, so hard and rough, that you almost think it’s the police finally coming to catch you for all your years of illegally pirating Phineas and Ferb. It’s not. It’s just a really drunk boyfriend wailing for your forgiveness at the door. warnings arguments, feelings of insecurity, bit of asshole jk, smut in the forms of humiliation, dumbification, choking, fingering, spit kink, self punishment (? idk lol), unprotected but [ passionate ] sex, jk losing his cool, the return of mean jk, desperate jk, he is actually an emotional mess in this one wtf misc angst, anniversaries, the L word😳, app developer kook, rip ‘pretty girl’ </3, we all become phineas and ferb stans word count 13k posted september 9, 2020

—ESPN & BDSM.

summary You would like to personally thank every loud-mouthed, ESPN commentator out there for saving you from Jungkook’s dangerous seduction skills. warnings smut in the forms of brief femdom, handcuffs, nipple clamps, blindfolding, flogging/use of a riding crop, soft dom kook, cunnilingus, spitting, unprotected but passionate, degradation, as always it starts horny n then turns into I love u kink misc kook has a swollen ankle so idk how he did all this, jk abuses the fuck outta pet names part 7, revenge gone wrong tbh, this was honestly a beginner’s intro to vanilla bdsm word count 12.7k posted september 14, 2020

—YOUTUBE & USE LUBE.

summary You can’t believe this is Jungkook’s preferred sick day treatment; YouTube, cuddles, and an ugly amount of lube. warnings smut in the forms of nipple play, handjobs, spit kink, face riding, unprotected, flavored warming lube, riding, praise kink, soft femdom, missionary bc his eyes are pretty, tit sucking, tit fucking, more jk has an impreg kink, oh and this is all subby kook misc domesticity baby!! fluff, soft scenes /.\, jk is sick:((, doyeon is A Doctor, yn sees an opportunity and she grabs it, surprise ending <3 word count 8.7k posted september 30, 2020

—VIKI & HICKEYS.

summary Just like in those Viki dramas Jungkook likes, the world around you is enveloped in shades of pink and red, kisses and hearts, so many goddamn roses it makes you sneeze. It’s absolutely perfect— nothing could possibly go wrong when there’s so much love in the air. warnings a little hurt + a lot of comfort, mentions of cheating!villain!jin, insecure!kook, emotional breakdowns, mentions of jk’s lonely past, jk cries :( smut in the forms of making out, eating out, fingering, clit play, hickeys, jk likes cum, double orgasm, squirting, tiny praise kink, blindfolding, rough + unprotected sex, doggy style, choking!!!, breeding/impreg kink, JEALOUS KOOK, mini hand kink, a lil bit of spanking, degradation, he gets progressively meaner lol oc cries, jk is a good boy n I want him to be happy misc there’s a lot of fuckin plot omfg -_-, it’s Valentine’s Eve!, doyeon makes Some Points, mentions of park seojoon juicy ass, they go on a d8 😳, oc like rlly wants to marry him, oc commits double phone homicide word count 16.3k posted january 14, 2021

—PEACOCK & SWEET TALK.

summary “I wanna watch Solange in Bring It On,” Jungkook smiles, and you have to wonder who exactly this blond man is and what he did with your teen-movie-hating boyfriend. warnings smut in the forms of kissing, cunnilingus (eating out + fingering), light praise, a lil body worship, jk fat cawk, brief nipple play, playful jk, unprotected sex, riding and missionary, the jk hand kink, I love you kink, jk wants nudes, jk’s cheerleader fantasies mentioned, spit kink, light choking, jk has like a scent kink (?), mention of collars and pet play misc app developer jk becomes even MORE app developer-y, oc is anti-google, there's plot, a 2 year anniversary, Solange knowles appreciation, BLOND JK!!!, gets sappy for a sec, seahorse marriage mention, doyeon x joon side pairing, jk is disgustingly dreamy and oc is threatened by that fact word count 10.7k posted march 23, 2021

— CRUNCHYROLL & RAIL.

summary Never mind the fact you really like Sailor Moon, or that you really want to pay attention to every little detail; the moment becomes Jungkook and his big smile and his red cheeks and the tiny box he produces from within his pocket. warnings smut in the forms of making out, jk nipple play, some 69 action, cunnilingus, blowjobs, brief choking, jk trying his best to listen to oc but he doesn’t rlly :/, fingering, missionary bc his eyes are pretty, unprotected fuckin raw, its romantic but when is it not… misc fluffy and domestic <3, weekend getaway <3, the Big Question, shy jk, sailor moon supremacy, jk makes this big elaborate speech about the sun and moon, mentions of 240p YouTube quality word count 8.7k posted may 21, 2021

—FUNIMATION & PROCREATION.

summary Never mind your upcoming wedding, this was perhaps the greatest moment of your life— the day Jungkook sought out an anime on his own. warnings kissing, smut in the forms of cunnilingus, cum eating, mentions of anal, doggy style, unprotected sex with the intention of pregnancy, spitting, hand holding<3 misc the wedding night, Doyeon strikes again, jjk watches jjk, oh no not twins word count 9.1k posted july 31, 2021

—BOOMERANG AND BANG.

coming soon

—COOKIES & CREAM.

summary Jungkook will watch a thousand cheesy Christmas movies if it meant making you happy. (And maybe having his dick sucked.) warnings smut in the form of blowjobs, face fucking, cum facials, fingering, overstim, double orgasm, r*mantic sex, riding, unprotected, cream pies, jk does this weird thing where he licks her face yeah idk, jk loves seeing his gf cry, jk has an obsession with jizz misc jk pov !!, eggnog slander, jk hates xmas movies, oc dresses like a sexy mrs claus, Elf !!, jk is in loooove word count 7.1k posted december 23, 2020

— TUTUS & TIARAS.

summary your first pregnancy through the lens of your husband warnings smut in the forms of penetrative sex, sex while pregnant, unprotected sex, tit play, cunnilingus, mutual masturbation, sticking the tip in and jacking off/cockwarming?, creampies, nose kink (? like she grinds against his nose), infatuation with scent, frottage/grinding, lactation kink, titluvr jk [bass boosted] misc married ncouple <3, domesticity, jk pov, mood swings, pregnancy, GIRLDAD!JK, DILF!JK, pregnant!reader, jk’s kids are virgos its true word count 10k posted august 23, 2021

— one.

summary Maybe Jungkook wasn’t always as cool and composed as you initially believed. But that’s okay, because you love him all the same. word count 1.3k posted September 10, 2020

—two.

summary Even after all these years, all these doubts, and all this solitude that was really no one’s fault but his own, he still finds himself hoping that maybe you’ll be the one. word count 1k posted september 11, 2020

—three.

summary But Jungkook loves the sun. word count 1.5k posted september 12th, 2020

—four.

summary For the last ten minutes or so his mind has been bothered by one thing and one thing only— the hair that hung in his face. word count 800 words posted september 22, 2020

—five.

summary Startled and inexperienced, he can’t do anything but rub his hands over your back. “It’s fine, it’s fine,” he murmurs, even though it’s not. word count 1.3k posted september 22, 2020

—six.

SUMMARY Jungkook enjoyed pushing you down, indulging you in all your little fantasies, but he too had some he wanted to live out. WC 1.8k POSTED september 25, 2020

—seven.

summary And lastly, Jungkook will bring it full circle by indulging you two in some good old fashion spooky sex where he nuts inside you because the only thing scarier than a scary movie is a pregnancy scare. It’s a perfect plan. word count 2k posted october 30, 2020

—eight.

summary You always do this— always ask for more. You take and you take until there’s nothing left for Jungkook to give. But Jungkook is the same. word count 1.9k posted december 28, 2020

—nine.

summary “I think that, like— me and you? We’re like, totally destined,” you ramble, “you should, like, take my number! And maybe we can, like— Netflix and chill one of these days?” word count 2.2k posted january 8 2021

—ten.

summary See, there’s no one in this world who ignores his house rules more than you. Even worse, there’s no one on this planet who can make Jungkook ignore his own rules like you do. word count 1.4k posted february 14, 2021

—eleven.

summary You’re too bright, too… there. His shell is too small. word count 1.2k posted may 3, 2021

—twelve.

summary Anyway, if it was up to Jungkook, Kim Doyeon would not be a member of the Engagement Ring Committee. word count 1.4k posted may 8th, 2021

—thirteen.

summary Because for as much shit as you let him get away with, Jungkook is certain you’ll draw the line today. word count 1k posted june 13, 2021

—fourteen.

summary Jungkook needs you to know that you can always count on him. word count 1.3k posted july 6, 2021

—fifteen.

summary It’s Jungkook’s teenage fantasy— being pushed down by a cheerleader. word count 3.1k posted august 9, 2021

— sixteen.

summary Your skin is warm and smells like sunshine. Jungkook can’t really explain it. (And also like the sunscreen you had doused him in earlier, but that isn’t as romantic.) word count 1.9K posted august 11, 2021

—seventeen.

summary She looks his way and suddenly Jungkook is nineteen again, in his dorm, listening to the first person he ever thought he loved telling him he’s too much to handle. word count 1.6k posted august 18, 2021

beautiful banners made for series!

cute and cozy gif by the lovely @ladyartemesia

LASTLY:

#jungkook smut #jeon jungkook smut #jjk smut #jungkook fic #jeon jungkook fic #ncml #mine

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candygrlsworld · 2 years

Text

My Dream Girl Journey🍭🎀

I have been wanting to start my dream girl journey for a while now and I finally started it on Nov 30!

My dream girl is honestly just the better version of myself.

She is loving, kind & smart. She is good at math & gets straight A’s in school. She is a successful entrepreneur. She is skilled in a lot of different fields. But her speacialties are art, music, fashion, history & film. She speaks her mind but only when she needs to. She can handle her temper. She is never seen unkempt & is effortlessly stylish. She takes care of herself, by eating well, working out & having good skin. Like a mix of Cher from clueless and Moesha.

5 Qualities to Create Her:

(I could only think of 5 qualities but I might add more)

Her specialities are art, music, fashion, history & film

She is a successful entrepreneur

A straight A student

Like a mix of Cher from clueless and Moesha

She takes care of herself, by eating well & working out & has good skin

She’s effortlessly stylish

December ♡

“Her specialities are art, music, fashion, history & film.”

Daily tasks:

-Bring sketchbook everywhere

- Draw something at least ONCE a day

-create and write a cohesive album

- NO PINTEREST only use for reference and not inspo only express creative ideas through works of art (making music, drawing, creating short film.) No outside influences unless u NEED it.

-Really focus on getting my skills better in sewing and drawing, Learn the basics again

-take time to learn about Black history and history in general

-Research fashion: watch runways, movies, YouTubers, only look at fashion inspo!

-begin coming up with ideas/concepts for short films. Start learning how to create short films. Write scripts, get better at editing etc.

-Make content! Work on YouTube and TikTok make video ideas, try to have an upload schedule etc

January ♡

“She is a successful entrepreneur.”

Daily tasks:

- work on & create new designs daily

-ONLY go on the internet for inspiration (Pinterest, tumblr, YouTube insta, movies and shows etc.)

This plan will take place throughout my dream girl journey but applies to this section specifically:

1. Send out designs and size chart to manufacturer and communicate weekly

2. Start working on branding (packaging, website, logo, brand board, colors, draw etc.)

3. Create website & work on business plan

4. Slowly get supplies (While checking on production and creating new designs.)

5. Get samples back and review, and start mass production. While mass production has started start promoting with samples

6. Once mass production is done get ready for launch day!

7. Launch website! ♡

February ♡

“A straight A student.”

Daily tasks:

- take an hour a day to study times tables and look over notes in all classes

-NO TIKTOK

-do a lot of math tutoring to make sure you understand

-read or draw every time you are bored (try to limit use of the internet)

-create study techniques that ACTUALLY work for you

March ♡

“She’s like a mix of Cher from clueless and Moesha.”

Daily tasks:

-work on poised checklist

-think before you act and speak

-romanticize life

-deep clean room and closet

-forcefully control your anger

-really focus on self care

-save money

-establish personality and overall presence

I don’t know if I will do the whole 12 months because I could only think of 5 qualities. But if I do I will update this post.

#yours truly #me #my aesthetic #dream girl journey

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enduracarrotchips · 3 years

Text

YouTuber AU

Hello welcome to Dating Scandal but with Twitter Involved (nightmare)

A little exposition here:

Link, Zelda, Sidon, Revali, and Riju are the most popular group of youtubers on the internet and have a huge fanbase that likes to theorize, draw fanart, and write fanfiction about them. Disclaimer, I don’t actually interact with real-person fandoms myself lol there’s just too much potential for drama and misunderstandings & they’re always bound to end in a dumpster fire but that is sort of what this au is about so.

Impa, Mipha, Daruk, and Urbosa are family friends that appear in a lot of their videos/streams.

(This is an art blog I swear)

enter vidcon 20XX

Link:

blows stuff up/sets stuff on fire with a side of cooking vids and gaming

most are filmed outside, he does those challenges where you try to cook stuff with limited ingredients/materials

has the largest fanbase of all of them, but not the most…intimidating.

does a lot of collab videos, mostly with Impa, Daruk, and Riju because they have similar interests/channels, but Zelda appears in his videos and is seen filming and the stans read too far into it

simps. i’m pointing at you.

Most popular videos are “shield surfing on rock!—how I broke my leg” “can Daruk eat Impa’s motorcycle?” and “how to inhale ranch dressing.”

Twitter handle is @ arsonistslullabye because he’s a hozier fan

45m subs

Zelda:

theories, analyses, conspiracies, and the occasional e x p e r i m e n t

she once got link to eat a frog for 50 bucks.

most people argue that she’s better than more popular YouTubers because she actually has quality content to give to the world and she has a lot of defensive supporters

She used to get a lot of hate before Urbosa spoke up about it and scared the bejeezus out of everyone

has an actual posting schedule

“Happy Sunday everyone, it’s Zelda Hyrule and today we will be talking about cryptozoology and why blupees exist, you cowards.”

Twitter handle is @ zeldaofhyrule and she is pan. just so you know. One of those calm extroverts that mystify me to this day.

18m subs

Sidon:

fashion/life hacks. Like gourmet troom troom but if they were real people.

Has the 2nd largest fanbase

most of them are girls

Sidon has a boyfriend though, which he told everyone at VidCon a few years ago

cue the drama and shipping and the entire fandom trying to figure out who the boyfriend is. A well known reddit thread emerged that presented the common guesses being Link, Sidon, and Zelda.

“But it can’t be Zelda, Sidon’s gay.”

“I’m not in the fandom but I thought Zelda was a boy??”

“Did you just say Sidon? Is that a typo? Are you saying that Sidon’s dating himself?”

Sidon x Sidon became a fandom joke.

Don’t look at me I’m just setting up all the worldbuilding. every fandom has their weird dark sides and Sidon x Sidon is the Linkcest of the Sidon YT fandom.

Mystery BF is actually Bazz, a pretty inconspicuous guy who appeared in a few of his videos. This was confirmed a year ago, but everyone still ships him with other YouTubers because they’re convinced he was lying to throw them off his scent. He really can’t catch a break and this is why you should not ship real people.

Twitter handle is @ officialprincesidon

says “beguiling” a lot

21m subs ᕙ( ͡❛ ▿ ͡❛)ᕗ

Mipha:

Sidon’s sister, hasn’t posted a single video but just has the channel for show because she appears in so many of Sidon’s videos as a model for his makeup tutorials and whatnot

has 328k for that. Everyone loves her, she’s great. @ mimipha

Revali:

Link’s sworn rival

Link thinks they’re friends

He kept popping up in link’s Twitter threads and making snarky comments until zelda called him out for not even following link (so why was he stalking his acc) which kept the Twitter drama to a minimum

Revali was the catalyst of a few popular memes and that’s where most of his subs come from.

drags link into a few challenges that always get a ton of views because of how competitive they get

“ITS JUST ASININE” is a running joke that everyone tries to get him to say. His @ is itsjustasinine as well

Urbosa is the only person who can win an argument with him

5m subs and growing rapidly. newer to youtube than everyone else.

Impa:

Doesn’t have a channel she’s just a mutual friend of Mipha, Zelda, and Link

Rides a motorcycle, so she is used in a few of Link’s videos.

@ ihaveamotorcycle because she thinks having a motorcycle is a personality trait. the most unruly on Twitter when it comes to replying to fan’s stuff, leaking upcoming videos and generally causing chaos.

Mipha’s girlfriend. That’s how she met Zelda and Link.

Urbosa:

Is actually a model, but she has a ton of YouTuber friends because she’s known Zelda since birth.

when she entered the youtube community she didn’t realize she would be adopting like 15 children

5m subs. her videos are professional & related to her modelling career. @ urbosasfury

I feel like she would do unboxing vids. I’m not sure what she’s unboxing.

Daruk

Just a friend of Link’s, fun guy. yells a lot. once ate a rock and had no reaction.

people are scared of him for that reason

Riju:

yoga & gymnastics & “ha look at how flexible I am its eAsY” videos

you know the type

she also does reactions and is sponsored by save the sand seals charities which she is very enthusiastic about. She’s also Urbosa’s niece and the only minor in the gang (15). I like to think that the champions YT community is actually not creepy so everyone respects her a ton

doesn’t post frequently, she mostly appears in Link’s videos to jump out of airplanes or whatever. And sometimes Zelda’s if she’s interested in the topic. 500k subs, but she’s always really popular when she appears in Link’s videos.

VidCon:

In the months leading up to VidCon, some fans on the internet made a few discoveries: first of all, that the inside of Link’s house is painted green. This is a big deal because all of his videos are filmed outside either in his backyard or on trips that he and the brosquad go on to do…whatever bros do. explosions. idk. The point is he had some announcement about VidCon and filmed it inside. Only the wall and a potted plant were shown.

However, the colour was similar to the the shade of Zelda’s living room. Fans dug through years and years of old videos and found a clip of Zelda walking through a hallway, where there was an open door and a glimpse of a houseplant.

There were 2 types of responses to the theory:

“They could just be roommates guys calm down”

“and they were ROOMMATES?”

others pointed out that Link could just not have a house and had to crash in Zelda’s

Some guy on reddit claimed he had a botany degree and declared that the houseplants in the clips were not of the same genus. Normal people pointed out that the plant would have grown 4 years between the clips and would look considerably different.

#Zelink trended on twitter for a while and people posted other old clips from both of their channels and the frog video blew up again

Impa retweeted a post tagged as #zelink with “rofl” and later publicly apologized for causing confusion.

Fans noticed that in the “can a motorcycle drive over my arm” (it was clickbait he’s fine) episode 2 years ago, Link was eating out of a paper lunch bag with his name written on it in handwriting that a few people claimed to look like Zelda’s, leading people to believe that she had packed him a lunch.

However, this theory was shot down with the counterargument that Zelda can’t cook. although. i mean how much skill do you need to make a sandwich.

No one knows what tumblr is doing at this time

Zelda wore a scarf in her “Save the Sand Seals” video that matched identically to the scarf Link wore when he travelled to Hebra to film a shield surfing video, but it’s been debated wether it’s actually the same scarf or not.

Neither Zelda nor Link has spoken up about the theories, and besides Impa’s one slip on twitter, neither has any of their friends. Zelda received a lot of backlash for the assumption that she was dating Link because he has a lot of delusional fans that didn’t want her to “steal their man” or whatever the hell that type of fan would get mad about

Oh yea and bolson & karson run a zelink fanpage on twitter sorry I forgot about that

after that whole mess, everyone was even more anticipant of VidCon in the hopes that some of their questions would be answered.

The whole batch went to VidCon this year: Link, Impa, Daruk, and Riju are a gang while Sidon and Mipha go together and Zelda & Revali each go separately. Urbosa is there for supervision moral support

Zelda has always been much better at dodging questions that she doesn’t want to answer than anyone else, so her Q&A went without a hitch. When asked to confirm the rumours she said “which one?” and then moved on to the next question (without actually confirming any rumours).

Link is generally a more awkward person but eventually said that he had filmed the video in Zelda’s house because it was nicer and didn’t realize it would cause such an uproar. Fans were disappointed, but Bolson claimed he saw Link and Zelda exiting the hotel elevator on the same floor after Link’s Q&A session. No one believed him.

Fans went back to theorizing over who Link, Zelda, and Sidon were all dating, because apparently they can’t just be dating unknown people and have to be with other YouTubers

Sidon and Bazz got engaged about a week after VidCon, making at least 4 preteen girls cry

actually try 4 million

Sidon x Sidon made a brief comeback but Sidon spoke up about his fandom for the first time ever on twitter and told everyone that no, he was not dating himself. eventually, everyone settled down and accepted that none of them were in a relationship save for a few loud fans.

Link and Zelda still got the occasional “when will you tell us who you’re dating?” comment but most of them were joking and the people who still hardcore shipped them were generally frowned upon. Zelda’s popularity went up after VidCon and she regained the 200k subscribers she’d lost after the first theory dropped.

Two months after VidCon, Link posted a video titled “Zelda and I’s House Tour!” and gave around 45 million people a heart attack

as revealed in the video, they had actually been dating since they were 16 and everyone’s just a fool.

the potted plant is named Hestu.

#listen. listen. youtuber au #idc if u came here to see genderless art this is what I am posting today #genderless art in the future though #anyways I'm so sorry #sidon x sidon trends for a few days and I feel bad for the ppl who have to handwrite the trending descriptions on twitter #like what would it be #reddit user @ steponmeurbosa makes a spelling error and sparks shipping between beauty guru sidon and himself #if someone tries to start discourse about YouTube fandoms on my post I am blocking you #headcanons #opinions #youtuber au #botw #zelink #breath of the wild #legend of zelda #thank god I got this out of my notes app

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salvadorbonaparte · 2 years

Note

(You don’t have to reply or anything in case you’d rather not publicly carry out this conversation BUT) the replies on your “people should try to seek more knowledge, especially on social media platforms like tumblr where Mis and disinformation can happen” post is driving me up the wall! I was kind of similar to those reply-ees at one point when confronted about US support of trump.

I argued that hey, while I vehemently oppose this you can’t really blame people (especially young people) brought up in a small little bubble without much education beyond essentially state-sponsored propaganda!

And my friend (not from the US) was like ok, well when DOES it become their responsibility. When do we start blaming people for being willing to post online and not fact check? When do we blame people for being hateful and stop letting ignorance absolve them of any responsibility?

And I really think that perspective ties hand in hand with what you said and a broader issue: people SHOULD seek self improvement and knowledge, and yes it IS exceedingly hard for people, especially those who don’t have access to any kind of quality education. BUT if you are posting and engaging with things online—you have access to the internet and you are able to read and Google etc—you have a responsibility to not spread misinformation. Like we all will do it inadvertently, but by god your first instinct when you see something you don’t know online should be to fact check it. We can put this into our curriculums for children but the fact is most of the internet is out of school, and needs to take this responsibility on themselves to not, idk, allow for a Donald trump type to win the White House or Brexit to happen, or any other number of horrible things that have occurred in whole or in part due to disinformation online

Sorry this was so long! You’re excellent!

Thank you for this ask. While I'm trying to be chill rn I find it very important to publish this because you're actually absolutely correct and you understand exactly what I meant.

Propaganda is incredibly effective when you're young. Parents and teachers are authority figures and children are like sponges eating up information, true or not, and I bet if you told an entire school class over and over again that the sky is green they'd end up believing it (I mean my little cousin believes in Santa which is not exactly harmful but a good example of how children work in this regard). And the reason I brought my great grandma into this is because when she went to school propaganda was everywhere and incredibly insidious. We read excerpts from school books from that time in history classes and there's even math problems discussing eugenics. Does that make it okay that people believed this ideology? No, of course not. But it explains why it is so difficult to get rid of these ideologies.

Propaganda explains why people are ignorant about things but it doesn't really excuse people choosing to continue being ignorant when they have the opportunity to grow out of it. No matter your education level or social class or other background you can always, especially now on the Internet, find ways to educate yourself, to fact check things, to take some responsibility.

No one is asking people to become experts on everything at once.

#Asks #Wow long ask long answer

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chatsu · 3 years

Note

hi hello hi chelsea !

if you’d like to, wanna ship your moots?

ah okay i'm not prepared & cannot think on the spot

i use the word ' think ' a lot because this is just my opinion and observations so feel free to correct me

++ no particular order, i just went through my follower list and looked for that bright green symbol <3

@maipxilia & iwaizumi — ur recent fic may have been an influence but i honestly think yous would be so cute ahh ! ur v v sweet and always thinking about others, and you share similarities, both supportive, intelligent & well respected (iwaizumi by his underclassmen and u, by me ofc). while iwaizumi is reliable he is also stubborn — who can he depend on ? you !

@missmorosis & bokuto — UR DYNAMIC I'MJSNDNDFJKS ur so comfortable to talk with i remember being ur '<33' anon and that was the first time i ever interacted like ever and u were so welcoming :') bokuto would find that admirable and while he is energetic and playful, when you're around he'd try his hardest to impress you with his wits, and shift to more of a shy demeanour. but since u share many similarities he just becomes his usual, bubbly, loving self. much like u ! idk if he likes rain, but he'd gladly spend his time dancing with u in the rain, even if it's lashing. happy birthday loveee <33

@ellewords & oikawa — i've said this so much but, oblivious idiots to lovers ? need i explain. at first he doesn't understand why there's a pang in his chest when you "reject" his advances, but in all honesty, you'd just grown used to his flirtatious nature and brushed it off, even though you also probably felt something in your chest. butterflies, perhaps. it's only when he labels the photo booth pictures you've taken with terms of endearment, he realises.

@monitsou & kageyama — maybe it's cause ur having a kageyama brainrot but tbh yous would match. he would admire ur kindness but it's when he finds himself laughing with u that he finds comfort and realises lol. i can imagine u as their manager and because u give great advice you would offer him a word or two about his bluntness, but to no avail, cause it's his frank words that confess his feelings for u <3

@xybi & yachi — yes she is intimidated by literally everyone, and she would be intimidated by you but only cause ur v pretty and a single tear would probably shed down her cheeks because of this. she'd become very flustered in your presence and blurt out a handful of compliments — your piano playing, volleyball skills, and most definitely dresses you've sewn, and gift you a dress back. anyways, you both are too cute.

@kohi-zeri & saiki — the disastrous life of saiki k was the first ever anime i had watched, and i loved it sm and when i found out u liked it too ? i knew then and there, i had exquisite taste. i think he'd befriend you, assuming you have similar characteristics, and that he'd rather be friends with u than nendou and kaidou, and to steer clear from teruhashi. but he'd find himself chuckling to your jokes. yes, kusuo saiki, laughing ?? being stubborn and prideful, he would not admit it, but was forced to when you had caught him sabotaging others who had gotten a bit too close LMFAOO. ALSO I JUST SAW UR CARRD AND IT IS SO COOL

@astroqphillic & nishinoya — k i love noya so much he is my number 1, but yous are just too good together omg <33 as expected, he'd fall shy under your gaze but when he found out ur also a libero ?? he is back to his boisterous self. until u compliment him on his receives. whoops, he's gone again. all the flirting n cuddling gets bundled into a box labeled "just friends" because yous are oblivious. until he comes up behind you to give you a back hug. but you. turn around. and lips have met. "just friends" my ass. SOULMATES UR HONOUR.

@mysterystarz & akaashi — i mean, we all saw this coming. who else could it be ? although i was late to ur wedding, i was still able to witness the amount of love akaashi holds for you, and vice versa. it's in his eyes, his playlist when he's handed the aux, and the marks on his hand ?? oh yeah, ink smudges. from writing poems for you with utmost affection. keinova 4 life <3

@rintarhue & sugawara — YOU ARE SO FUN AND LOVING AND EASY TO TALK TO, I LOVE THAT AND I LOVE YOU !! and yk who else would ? sugawara koushi. ah yes, with his soothing yet cheeky personality you both would be perfect, i think. mischievous is the word i'd use to describe your relationship. maybe he'd have you visit his class and you'd become the childrens' favourite ! what a perfect match. jk u match with me, even tumblr said so

63.543 notes ? we clearly have some shippers bae

@shirari & shirabu — okay we haven't interacted much but you seem so kind !! and ur theme is so cute ahsbdh shirabu would probably fall in love with the playlist u made him <33 despite the amount of studying he has to do (medical field things </3) he would definitely spare time for you two <3

@tesoromia & ushijima — u seem so very sweet and i think ushijima would admire that, from afar atleast, being the stoic person he is. but something about the way you dance, fully immersed with the movements and flowing with the music, he can't help but compliment you. expect a lot of compliments, due to his blunt nature.

@planetoru & oikawa — you made him ugly laugh and he contemplated life for a bit. i sense an enemies to lovers typa beat. he started asking all of life's unanswered questions, as well as accusing you of poisoning his coffee cause he felt a funny feeling in his stomach. then he realised you made him laugh cause ur funny, gorgeous, sweet, perfect and he loves you. then i knock him out cause i'm literally going out with u <3 and gojo too even though he could kill me on the spot !

@tooru-luvs & tsukishima — hii i read through a few of your posts to get to know you a bit and i think he would love u ahh <33 u seem very kind but also very determined to get tasks done and he'd admire that ! also sarcasm ? he would definitely love that.

@shoyotime & akaashi — ahh u seem so nice but chaotic and fun at the same time ?? you'd think akaashi would be used to it due to bokuto's enthusiastic personality, but while he seems calm and composed with him, i feel like he'd become flustered whenever you're around ?? he'd definitely go to bokuto for some advice and to accompany him as his wingman when he wants to talk to you HAHBSBD

@kozuelle & kiyoko — k i know u love kenma but kiyoko would be madly in love with u. again, she is one to admire from afar and maybe shower you with compliments once in a while if she's feeling courageous. other times, i feel like she would be big into giving u gifts, or perform acts of service. maybe she'd show up to watch you play the violin, or do ballet and admire your notes ! or perhaps, a heartfelt card showcasing her true feelings for you that she's been harbouring. boom, confession.

@animated-moon & tendou — soulmates yes. he would make custom chocolates for you to help with studies ! unique molds, unique tastes, all curated for you. all the childhood memories really did come in handy along with the several dates you've been on. multiple chocolates placed in a ferris wheel themed box, symbolising your tradition to go on it every year.

@mnzu & kenma — aa u seem so funny and kind !! he is introverted yes, but he has definitely analysed your whole personality while trying to find out more about you. he has vine references memorised with the hope that you will laugh along with him. if you look over his shoulder and into his switch, he's naming his animal crossing island after you. LMFAOO

@elitparadox & kita — U ARE SO SWEET AND KITA WOULD LOVE U !! and he is not afraid to show it. similar to atsumu when he had a cold, he would send baskets full of love for u ! ur fave snacks, fluffy socks, a heartfelt letter. except, he would send this every week, even if you are not sick. a different one yes, but wow you're gonna have so much baskets HAHSBD. you'd been expecting another basket upon hearing a knock at the door, but instead received a confession ! what a lovely exchange <33

@atsuvu & sakusa — no doubt about it, he'd fall in love with your music taste. HAHD IT'S SO GOOD THOUGH. you seem very chill, and he'd admire that, but you're also sweet and funny which he admires too. much to atsumu's dismay when he tells sakusa that he's also extremely funny. also mitski wahh i love her !!

@mattsunbae & tanaka — he'd fall in love with you immediately. best friend's brother typa beat ygm ?? i feel like you and saeko would be best friends for sure, and tanaka would see u, and boom. love at first sight. yeah he'd definitely shower you in compliments every second and knock every male within a 30cm radius. one night you'd be at saeko's house until her window fucking broke ?? you take a glance outside and witness tanaka ryuunosuke. attempting to lift a massive boombox over his shoulder whilst panting heavily, because he had to run back to his house, having initially thought that you were at your own house. boyfriend by big time rush is playing.

@tohman & atsumu — YOU SEEM SO FUNNY AND YOU AND ATSUMU WOULD BE SO PERFECT FOR EACH OTHER !! he'd probably see those men on your phone screen and start bawling with jealousy until you explain that it's from an otome game LMFAOOAOAONDS

@liv-laugh-die & kuroo — u seem very chill but also very sweet and kind !! he'd flirt with u non stop !!! agh i feel like you would be so very cute together, but if you compliment him back,,, whew he'd get so flustered <33

@strawbearisamu & lev — quality time and words of affirmation are his forte ! k while you'd eat spicy ramen, he would definitely attempt !! but once you see tears brimming at the corner of his eye, you have to hold him back from his bowl while he denies that he was ever in pain LMFAO <33 don't be afraid to tell him about your ideas, because he will encourage you and be so supportive ! you can pursue anything <3

@shinalie & bokuto — you seem so kind ahhh and bokuto would fall in love with you at first glance ! he'd compliment everything, from your writing, to your music taste ! everything <33

@moonless-abyss & daishou — yes he is competitive, yes he would fight for your attention. if he ever finds out that kuroo had taken an interest in you ? prepare for war <33

@srkuv & yamaguchi — i feel like he'd bump into you and be so embarrassed bshbhf but you'd reassure him and just like that, he's fallen in love. with your kindness and humour, how could he not ? feel bad for tsukishima though, as he receives a chain full of texts from yamaguchi about none other than you <3

@tetsvhoe / @rantess & kuroo — i think you'd probably report a social media account that was claiming to be you, but in reality it was a fanpage by kuroo. tbh you should've guessed based on the multiple hearts in the pictures and captions, but no regrets as you see a look of panic on kuroo tetsurou's smug, now frightened, face. he'd gift you a kitten as an apology <3

@sakuctsu & osamu — ahh i know we've just interacted recently but you seem very welcoming and so very kind ! he'd listen to your playlist and compliment each song on it. although, your yoga sessions accompanied by rain might be interrupted once you hear the clanging of his pans and ingredients in the kitchen </3 but not to worry, it's a meal just for you ! and he'd add it to his menu <33

#plays +#THIS TOOK ME TOO LONG #i tried to include everyone so #pls tell me if i forgot anyone !#not proofread

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soulvomit · 2 years

Text

I have to cop to this because I feel like it’s the biggest obsessive thing wrecking my life

This has taken the place of every possible special interest I could have.

Here's the thing:

My "special interests" in the last 15 years or more, have predominantly been internal/in my head.

I'm obsessed with my own made-up social theories, meta, my own observations, shit from the inside of my head, etc... and I can write about it all endlessly online. Like I’m doing now!

Then I get started analyzing my own thoughts then analyzing the thoughts about those thoughts.

I can also spend all day just posting about myself and analyzing parts of my life.

I LOSE WHOLE DAYS. I can spend all day just posting. I can sit here, not eat all day, and just post. In fact the whole “whether ASD” thing with me has triggered the biggest spate of nothing but longposting and navel analysis that I’ve done in a long time.

When I get the urge to post something, if I indulge it, then one thought leads to another thought leads to another...

Thing is, if I didn't write online, I'd just talk the ear off of other people and I feel like just posting online is what siphons off the frenetic talk energy for me. Also I don’t feel like I can have these conversations with anyone IRL, online is my most fluid way to talk.

The way I put it to someone earlier, is that it's like having to sit on the toilet all day so that you don't poop your pants in public and end up socially ostracized. If I don't constantly post, I will TALK, and... it's my absolute most difficult sperg trait for other people to live with.

Also I feel like I am only "real" online. Like I'm not authentic with people I know IRL. And compartmentalizing my autistic self into the online world and only doing what I have to offline, has been my big way of coping. I would talk my partner’s ear off, rapidly and self-centeredly, without this.

I'm 48. I can't live like this forever. I have no real actual hobbies at present, I'm struggling with pushing my career forward, this is really fucktastic!

It's like there is an obsessive quality to this. I can dwell on the same topic for weeks in my posts, too, and restate some of the same points over and over.

I used to be an interesting person whose special interests were about *things* (such as medical science 2004-2009.) Who spent a lot of this writing/talking compulsion on writing fiction (prolifically.) Usually I had some topically related special interest coupled with writing a story that incorporated aspects of it.

I have not done this in ages, very little gets as much attention as my longposting does. And it's like I use up my executive function, and become exhausted, doing it.

It's not even just the internet, because i only hang out in a tiny corner of the internet. It's not even just zombie scrolling; I am fine with just checking my Facebook 2x a day or so.It's the energy I spend writing longposts on Reddit and Tumblr. It's not even enjoyable. And because it is my Special Interest basically - I can't even really absorb anything else.

I can't stop once I start. I can't keep myself from doing it again. I am beginning to hate that I do this.

But it's like I pour the most self-focused side of myself into these spaces so I can act normal the rest of the time and only very minimally bring myself up in conversation.

It's like... I use the internet as the repository for certain things I need, because I have me-specific needs that the rest of my world can't really meet.

Also, so many of my special interest focuses in the last 15 years (10 of those are the heaviest period of masking I've ever done in my life) are entirely focused within myself - my own self-referential theories, my own made up social taxonomies, etc - as well as sometimes getting deeply into “how to people”/self improvement spaces - which I can't even really share with other people IRL, or talk about. I feel like I am wasting my intelligence and creativity on this.

Somehow I fell down this weird navel-gaze rabbit hole years ago and can't get out.

That said, I don't feel like the people around me are particularly intellectual. I feel like every time I have an intellectually based special interest, or get obsessed with something I'm reading, I feel very lonely.

But I can always talk pop psychology and develop my weird theories that are basically mental masturbation and spread manifestoes across the internet basically and somehow that's less lonely? What's the logic?

It was this that made me start to believe that perhaps I wasn't autistic after all because I did not consider my internet addiction a special interest.

My most intense period of long-posting about mental masturbation, ever, began roughly at about the time when I began to think that instead I had ADHD, a diagnosis I got in 2008, 4 years after my Asperger diagnosis.

But it's not that I wasn't doing something autistic, I was doing something actually extremely autistic in several senses of the term.

And making up my own bullshit theories has a compulsive quality to it. Perhaps it's that I'm trying to order the world from inside my head. I don't know.

#whether asd

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mypunkpansexualtwin · 3 years

Text

Noticing the Little Things

-shows up a week late to Kiss Ryuji Day with Starbucks- I’ve contributed to a fandom event! mo you didn’t contribute shit I’ve contributed! Took a break from Misguided Wingman, so instead of a WIP Wednesday, y’all are getting 6.6k words of fluff instead!

Under a cut cause that’s a little much, and link to AO3 in the reblogs cause tumblr does terrible things to posts with links in them.

Hey, come meet my mom!

Ryuji had sprung the offer on him last minute via dead of the night text. It wasn’t as though he’d been trying to catch Ren off guard intentionally; it was more a matter of this being her first full day off in nearly a month that hadn’t fallen through for one reason or another. Ren had quickly learned that those sorts of days were few and far between, and notoriously difficult to plan around because of it. Even rarer were the days where both Sakamotos’ schedules lined up for a full day of quality time, especially now with the addition of Phantom Thievery. And Ryuji had offered to share this once in a blue moon opportunity with his best friend. Naturally, even as tired as he’d been when the message came through, Ren had jumped at the chance. For once it (mostly) didn’t have anything to do with his crush on his best friend that could have been viewed from space, Ren was just excited to finally meet the woman whose praises Ryuji’d been singing since they met.

The next morning, Ryuji had texted him again uncharacteristically bright and early--especially for a Sunday--hoping to put their heads together for something nice to do for her. He didn’t want her to do a bunch of work on one of her rare days off and Ren didn’t blame him one bit. He pitched the idea of takeout; no effort to cook, no dishes to wash, only trash to take out after. Ryuji shot it down, hesitant to admit that they couldn’t quite afford enough takeout for all three of them this late in the month and even less willing to ask Ren to cover the whole thing. Which meant going out to eat somewhere was probably also a no-go. And then Ren was struck by divine inspiration.

Or rather, he looked down at the breakfast that Sojiro had so kindly prepared for him before Leblanc opened. And then he texted Ryuji.

What if I made curry?

And that was how he ended up spending the rest of his morning at the grocery store, picking through produce with such a critical eye that it would have brought a tear to Sojiro’s. He’d assured Ryuji several times over that it was no trouble, he needed the practice anyway and he’d gotten some sizable bonuses from a couple of his jobs, so the shopping was no issue. Ren sent the list of what he needed and, after a little more convincing, Ryuji had sent back a list of what they didn’t already have in the apartment, as well as a promise to have the kitchen ready when he arrived and to do dishes after all of his friend’s hard work. On top of the rest of his list, Ren added a nice tuna filet for Morgana, who’d be stuck in Yongen all day rather than risk getting anyone in trouble for bringing the not-a-cat to the Sakamoto apartment.

Ren double checked his bags and tried to shake off the feeling that he was missing something while Morgana halfheartedly berated him between bites of fish for being left behind. Halfway down the stairs to the cafe, it hit Ren and he couldn’t help but feel a little dumb for forgetting. His thumbs skated over his phone screen to ask Ryuji a question, only to get a question himself from Sojiro.

“Got everything you need to impress your mother-in-law, kid?” His tone was teasing as he looked over the boy’s armful of groceries. Ren sputtered an objection that was less actual coherent words and more disconnected, indignant noises, red as the bell peppers he’d selected as his caretaker chuckled. His phone buzzed as Ryuji’s answer came in.

“Actually…” Ren managed after the worst of the heat faded from his cheeks. “I was wondering if I could borrow a couple of things?”

-----

“Out.” Ren commanded, brandishing a freshly washed carrot like a dagger and flicking the water off of it at his friend.

“Hey! It’s my kitchen!” Ryuji argued but stepped back anyways with his hands up in a vain attempt to shield himself from the droplets.

“They’re my groceries. Go sit, I’m cooking.” Ren retorted and turned back to the cutting board. Sakamoto-san’s laugh could be heard from the living room, not that that was very far. It was a small apartment and the kitchen and living room weren’t so much two separate rooms as they were one room about the size of Leblanc’s attic interrupted by a short stretch of countertop. When he’d first come in, Sakamoto-san had scooped up the groceries from Ren’s arms before he’d gotten half a word of greeting out, Ryuji had dragged him off for a quick tour of the apartment, and he’d come back to everything he’d need laid out in a neat array next to the stove in the five minutes he’d been distracted.

“He fusses if he doesn’t get to help.” She explained while Ren worked. “He does it to me, too, y’know.” He couldn’t help but wonder with a roll of his eyes where ever could his best friend have gotten that habit from?

“Oh I fuss if I don’t get to help?” The blond asked dryly and then helpfully voiced Ren’s inner sarcastic inquiry: “Wonder where I picked that up?” A smile found its way onto Ren’s face as they continued bantering back and forth while he worked, Sakamoto-san sipping on tea in front of the television and Ryuji leaning on the counter from the living room side to watch his best friend cook.

It was comfortable, but not quite in the same way Leblanc had become; the cafe was a place to rest, to breathe, to hide. His attic bedroom felt undeniably safe, but was somehow paradoxically isolated from the world around it and almost entirely devoid of privacy. The apartment, though… With the sound of the tv providing soft background noise to Ryuji and his mother’s easy conversation and the smell of curry spices filling every corner of the small space, it felt safe in a way that felt like home, in a way the attic hadn’t quite managed yet, in a way his own home hadn’t really felt since he was a little kid. Something tense in Ren’s chest unwound and he hadn’t realized he was humming until Ryuji and Sakamoto-san had stopped talking to listen. It wasn’t even particularly good, at least as far as he was concerned, but it was the only way to get rid of the Velvet Room’s mysterious song when it got stuck in his head like it lived there. The silence stretched for an uncomfortable beat when he realized he had an audience.

“Um.” He glanced up from the frying pan for a moment, then quickly back down to it to hide his blush after meeting two matching sets of wide, brown eyes watching him. Nothing like an unblinking stare to make one self-conscious. “S-sorry. Did I interrupt you two?”

“Oh no, not at all! You have a lovely voice, Ren. Don’t let us stop you.” Sakamoto-san insisted with a kind smile that turned a little too knowing as she glanced over at her son.

“Yeah, man, you ain’t gotta quit ‘cause of us.” Ryuji affirmed, still watching him with a grin and a warm, wide-eyed look that the other boy couldn’t quite put a name to. “And she’s right, you’re pretty good. Hell, maybe we shoulda gone to that karaoke place for real the one time so you could show off.” Heat rose to Ren’s face that had nothing to do with the food he was cooking.

“Well, we could always go back, make that our next celebration after-- uh,” Ren quickly changed course before he accidentally blurted out ‘after the next change of heart’ in front of Sakamoto-san, “after exams. Get everyone together, take turns picking songs, that sort of thing.” Ren suggested. “Of course, that means you’d have to sing, too.”

“No way--!” The blond tried to object before his mother cut him off in her own excitement.

“Oh that sounds so fun!” She grinned more widely, with a mischievous gleam in her eye. Ren had seen an identical look on her son’s face enough times to slightly dread whatever she was about to say. “Maybe you boys could do a duet? I know a few songs that’d--”

“Mommmm!” Ryuji groaned indignantly while Ren smothered a laugh and prayed any color in his cheeks could be written off as a result of leaning over the hot stove.

-----

Ren watched a flurry of movement from where he’d gotten up to stir the curry and break out the pour-over setup. Boss had only let him borrow this one because it had been chipped a few years prior--still functional, but no longer restaurant quality--and because Ren had laid the flattery on especially thick when he begged to use it.

“Ooh, you’re gonna make coffee? I’ll be right back, I know what else’ll go perfect with it!” Ryuji had jumped up and all but bolted for the door. “Be right back!”

“Wait, I was just--” He tried to tell the blond, but the door had already snapped shut before he could finish, “--setting it up.” He sighed and offered a helpless shrug to Sakamoto-san. “It’s supposed to go with the curry, but that’s going to be simmering for a while.”

Sakamoto-san chuckled and smiled fondly in the direction her son had disappeared. “You know how excitable he can be, and he’s been looking forward to introducing us for a couple of months now.” She stood and stretched with a groan, then walked over and leaned on the counter. Ren could practically feel her gaze on him as he worked; even with as warm and casual as the look on her face was, something in her eyes felt scrutinizing. He was being sized up with no idea as to why. Sakamoto-san’s smile stayed in place, as gentle as before when she asked, “why not brew us each a cup anyway? Ryuji’s been raving about the one you made him and how well it’d go with old lady Ueda’s ginger peach danishes since the beginning of summer. And since he’s even less of a coffee drinker than I am, I’m eager to see the master at work.”

“If you want to see the master at work, you’ll have to come by Leblanc and meet So-- um, Sakura-san.” He explained with a nervous, slightly forced chuckle of his own. After a moment of internal debate, Ren nodded. “But I did bring enough for everyone to have a couple of cups. Couldn’t hurt to see if you like it as much as Ryuji does. Maybe I’ll impress you just as much, Sakamoto-san.” That had been exactly why he was doing this, why he had worked so hard to convince Boss to part with even a little of his cafe equipment.

She barked a laugh at that and startled Ren enough that he nearly knocked over the bag of coffee he’d traded away a full week of work for. “Two things. Three, actually. One, please just call me Hana. Because, two, I’ve been impressed with you for months, kid. And, three, don’t beat yourself up if you can’t impress me as much as Ryuji ‘cause that’s gonna be an awfully high bar to clear. I don’t know exactly what you did to do it, but you pulled him out of…” Hana-san trailed off with a sigh, and then continued with a slightly thick edge to her voice, “out of a pretty dark place, y’know. My boy adores you.”

With that and the overwhelming warmth in her eyes, Ren could feel his own throat tightening, but he managed to choke out a weak, “O-okay.” And then he couldn’t force anything else out. How were you supposed to react to hearing your probably-unrequited-crush’s mom tell you that said crush adored you? As if she could read the question on his face, she reached over to clap him on the shoulder encouragingly.

“Don’t worry about sayin’ anything, My sunshine’s told me you’re not much of a talker. Just make sure you keep showin’ him how much he means to you too, alright?”

“I will. Thank you, Hana-san.” He finally replied and got the same annoyed frown he’d gotten from Ryuji two days into their friendship, when he’d met his new nickname with Ryuji’s family name. Although responding to Renren with Sakamoto back then had been an attempt at teasing on Ren’s part, calling Sakamoto-san by just her given name felt like too much.

The door creaked open and pulled her attention off of Ren as Ryuji came bouncing through, nearly forgetting to kick off his shoes in his excitement to deliver the prized pastries.

“You weren’t kidding when you said this one was formal, sunshine.” She sighed. “And damn, I’ve never seen you make that trip so fast. You that excited to show off to your Renren? ” Ryuji squawked in offense and Ren could feel his face flame at how she’d emphasized his nickname.

“N-nah, he could probably sense that I was just about to ask about embarrassing baby pictures is all.” Ren deflected as he went back to prepping their coffee.

The only thing better than the look of utter betrayal Ryuji gave him was the one of unbridled delight on Hana-san’s face.

-----

Dinner had passed cheerfully, if somewhat raucously, as Hana-san and Ryuji regaled their guest with stories about Ryuji’s childhood, and the boys entertained her with stories about their time together since the beginning of the school year. Ren felt himself opening up more and more easily as the meal had gone by and even shared a few stories from his time working at Leblanc, as well as the specifics behind balancing the night’s coffee and curry. As per usual, Ryuji didn’t really seem to be absorbing the specifics, but seemed more than happy to watch his friend talk about something he was enthusiastic about. Ren was even openly laughing by the end of dinner while he and Ryuji recounted the time they had met up for lunch after separately incurring Ushimaru’s wrath by falling asleep in class, then bursting out laughing at each other’s identical chalk bruises on their foreheads. They didn’t mention that each of them still had the other’s half of the subsequent selfie set as their phone’s home screen.

Afterwards, the atmosphere in the apartment settled a little when Ryuji shooed both his mother and his best friend out of the kitchen to sort out leftovers and wash dishes. In the meantime, Ren and Hana-san sat in comfortable quiet in the living room while half-watching the talk show on tv and enjoying the last of the coffee and danishes. Ryuji had been spot-on, Ren noted, the flavor paired beautifully with what he’d been secretly calling the Kidd Blend since he first got his right hand man’s seal of approval. As per usual, even if Ryuji didn’t have a head for the specifics, his instincts were unparalleled.

“He’s got good taste, right?” Hana-san remarked as she watched Ren’s thoughtful chewing. He nodded. Again with that uncanny ability to read him; it would have been unsettling if he hadn’t already been used to it from Ryuji and just figured that she was where he got it from. She cracked a smile after taking another sip from her coffee and said, “I gotta admit, I was skeptical when he said it was good enough to go with our favorite dessert. Figured he was just talking you up again ‘cause I’ve never had a cup of coffee I actually liked. I only drink it if I need the caffeine fix. But this? This is damn good.” Hana-san drained the cup and let out a satisfied sigh before she settled back a little further into her seat.

At that point Ren had been keeping a running tally of how many little gestures and features Hana-san and her son had in common. Despite their differences physically--where Ryuji was tall and all lean, hard lines, Hana-san was considerably shorter than her son and built soft and sturdy--there was no denying they were mother and son with as many quirks and features as they had in common. The same warm, brown eyes that tilted upwards just a little at the outer corners; the same bright smile that lit up their entire faces and laughter that filled every corner of the room; the same animated manner of speaking, all open expression and wild gestures to tell a story; the same bright quality to their voices, loud and boisterous without being overwhelming. The same way of making him feel like he’d known them all his life within the span of a few hours. That last one was about when he’d lost count, and therefore couldn’t say where he was when he noted that even with the difference in their specific posture, the two even relaxed the same way when they sat. Ryuji tended to sprawl out and Hana-san seemed more comfortable curling up when she sat, but they both had something loose and open about the way they sat, something oddly approachable.

“You’re always welcome to come by Leblanc, Hana-san.” Ren said with a smile, then added somewhat proudly, “Although I’ll have to direct Boss since Ryuji only gets coffee when I make it.”

“We’ll see if I get some time. And seriously, kid, just Hana is fine. I’ve heard enough about you from Ryuji that I feel like I already know you.” She insisted.

“Wh- really?” His head snapped up from his drink. He knew that he and Ryuji were best friends, probably the closest friends that either of them had ever had. But he hadn’t actually thought about the fact that that meant Ryuji talked about him to other people. It was probably silly the way something that obvious could warm him from the inside and fill his chest with butterflies, but it did.

“Oh yeah. Honestly, I knew I liked you before he ever even said your name. It was like out of nowhere his grades started picking back up, I wasn’t getting any more calls about him skipping classes, he seemed motivated again, like he hadn’t been since…” Hana-san looked over at Ryuji, busy and oblivious in the kitchen, as her face darkened and her voice dropped before she continued, “since before that sonofabitch broke my boy’s leg.” The bitterness passed after a moment and she fixed Ren with a gaze brimming with that same overwhelming warmth and kindness from before. “I knew that whoever it was that brought my boy’s smile back… that was someone I wanted to meet, y’know? That was someone I wanted to thank. So, thanks Ren. You brought my sunshine back.”

“I… You’re welcome.” Ren mumbled. “It’s not…” He stopped himself from saying it wasn’t a big deal because that definitely wasn’t true. “I mean, he did just as much for me.” Then he took a sip from his coffee, at a loss for what else to say.

“I’m sure he did, he’s a good boy. But this is me thanking you, not him.” She shrugged as she watched him drink and her smile went crooked as her voice took on a teasing lilt. “Still, I guess if Hana is too informal for you, you could always just call me Mom. Might as well get in the habit now, right?”

So. Hot coffee coming out of one’s nose was very painful. That was the immediate sensation that momentarily distracted Ren from the shock of Hana-san’s statement. She jumped up in surprise as he choked on his drink, then quickly grabbed a dish towel from the nearby counter and handed it to him. He coughed a few times and wiped at the surprisingly little amount of coffee that he’d gotten on himself, before finally clearing his throat and wheezing out, “Excuse me?”

Hana-san was very clearly trying not to laugh at him while she gave him another of those warm smiles that just confused him this time. “I know you two are dating, I’m not blind, kid.” Ren’s eyes widened and his jaw dropped. Hard. It prompted another coughing fit and Hana-san couldn’t hold back from laughing this time. “Even if I was, I still would’ve picked up on it. You two are too obvious. It’s sweet, really. The way you light up when you’re watchin’ him? And the first time I finally got your name out of him, you were suddenly the only thing he wanted to talk about. ‘ Hey mom, I’m hanging out with Ren today, don’t worry ‘bout dinner for me, we’re gonna get ramen. Man, can’t believe Ren’s never been to a real arcade before. His hometown didn’t really have one, so I’m gonna show him my favorite tomorrow. Hey mom, me and Ren are going to the gym today, yeah we’re gonna be running, yeah I’m running again, didn’t I tell you? Nah, I don’t need anything for my birthday, I know money’s tight this week and Renren’s taking me fishing so it’s all good. Hey, did you know Ren hung the moon? Ain’t that sweet of him? I should do somethin’ to say thanks.’ Like I said, kid. Ryuji adores you.” Hana finished softly. Almost ruefully, but he missed that part. Ren’s head was spinning, out of sheer confusion and excitement and terror and hope that he’d been aggressively stomping down for months, as well as the fact that all the blood in his body seemed determined to rush to his face all at once.

“He… told you we’re dating?” He managed hoarsely, eyes flicking to Ryuji still washing dishes and still completely oblivious to their conversation with the water running. Did… Had Ryuji confessed to him without Ren realizing? Had those moments he’d dismissed as wishful thinking, bein’ free and my place is next to you, actually been what he hadn’t dared even hope for?

Had he been dating Ryuji Sakamoto this entire goddamn time without even realizing it?

“Well, no. At first I thought it was because he was nervous about coming out to me. I did what I could to let him know it wasn’t an issue, and since he never really changed how he talked about you, I figured he must have just been so excited to have such a wonderful boyfriend that he just... forgot to tell me.”

Ren barked out a rough laugh and then winced at the way it grated on his scalded sinuses. “Then that would make two of us, Hana-san. If I had realized this was that kind of ‘come meet my mom,’ I would’ve convinced Sojiro to let me bring one of the top-shelf blends.” A hollow laugh escaped him as Hana-san’s face fell.

“Oh. Oh… Ah shit, I’m so sorry! I went and made things awkward with him now, haven’t I?” She winced apologetically and looked down at the dishtowel when Ren handed it back. “And wasted that fantastic coffee on top of it, too. You’re sure you’re okay?” Ren waved the apology off.

“It’s fine, please don’t worry about it, Hana-san.” She frowned at him and he finally relented. “Hana. I just... have a couple questions for him now. That I have no idea how I’m gonna ask.” He ran a hand through his hair and glanced back at Ryuji again, who was nearly done cleaning up the kitchen.

“Well, good luck when you do. But I don’t think you’re gonna need it.” She assured him with a wink and a gentle clap on the shoulder. “So, if that wasn’t the top shelf stuff, what was it? Besides still pretty damn killer, obviously.”

“Huh? Oh. Second from the top. Still took some serious convincing and I’ll be working behind the counter at Leblanc all week to make up for it.” Ren flashed Hana a tired smile. “Worth it, though. Every non-coffee-drinker I impress is a win in my book.”

Her laugh in response took the sting out of his embarrassment. And his slightly burnt throat. “Well then, guess I will have to find a minute to come by, enjoy me some coffee, curry, and a captive audience.” Hana grinned and Ren couldn’t help but return it.

“I’ll look forward to the company.”

-----

Rather than walk straight to the closest station, Ren and Ryuji had decided to take the scenic route and loop through a nearby park once first. Ren stuck close to the blond, given that he was a lot more familiar with the area as one of his go-to running practice routes. That and, while it was refreshingly cool for Ryuji outside the apartment, Ren ran colder than his friend and was starting to get uncomfortably chilly. As if on cue, Ryuji fell into step right next to him and threw an arm around his shoulder, and Ren felt himself immediately relax into the touch to leech his right hand man’s body heat.

“I’m really glad you finally got to meet my mom. Glad you hit it off with her, gotta admit I was kinda nervous at first.” Ryuji finally said.

“Really? Why?”

“Well you know after my old man took off, it was just me ‘n her, yeah?” Ren nodded. “Even when I had other friends before… everything, Mom was always my best friend. Lame, right?” Ryuji gave a halfhearted, self-deprecating laugh. Ren nudged his shoulder a little more firmly against the blond, not willing to let the disparagement pass uncontested.

“Not at all, she’s pretty great. Wish I was half as close with my folks as you two are.”

“Right. Yeah, she is. Anyways, yeah, mom was always my best friend. So when you turned up--and it’s not like she said anything so I could be wrong--but when you turned up I think she was a little jealous? Not like tellin’ me not to hang out with you or anythin’, she’s been real glad to see me with friends again! But I was kinda worried she felt…” The blond trailed off, waving his free hand vaguely as he tried to come up with the right word.

“Pushed aside?” Ren supplied.

“Exactly! So even after I knew she’d warmed up to you after hearin’ about you so much, I was kinda nervous that she wouldn’t get along with you. So yeah, I’m glad you guys hit it off.”

“I’m glad, too.” He couldn’t help but wonder if Hana had told Ryuji what she’d told him, how she knew she liked Ren as soon as Ryuji started getting back on his feet again. There was no way she’d told him she was certain they were dating, although that probably would have made bringing it up easier for Ren, if no less awkward. It wasn’t as though he could just blurt out ‘hey are we dating, your mom was pretty convinced I’m your boyfriend and I’m really hoping she was right’. Well okay, he could if he could work up the nerve, but that was a pretty big ‘if.’

“Hey.” Ren could hear the frown in Ryuji’s voice and didn’t have time to react before his glasses were being tugged off his face and tucked into the collar of the other boy’s shirt. “You’re doin’ that thing again, where you’re overthinkin’ somethin’ and you disappear behind your damn glasses. What’s up?”

Ren blinked up at Ryuji a few times, barely registering that, huh, that was a habit of his wasn’t it, before the words “Why sunshine?” fell out of his mouth.

“Huh?” Ryuji fixed him with a puzzled look that shifted into one of flushed embarrassment as the question registered. “Oh, right, the nickname. Uh, my hair, mostly.”

“Makes sense. This is gonna sound dumb, but even though I know you bleach it, I was still surprised that your mom’s brunette.” Ren admitted. “I guess part of me was expecting her to be blonde, too.”

“I was actually aimin’ for her color the first time we bleached mine.” Ryuji admitted, then frowned like he hadn’t meant to say anything.

“Really?”

“Yeah. I didn’t… I wasn’t always so gung-ho about the whole ‘fine, you’re gonna call me a punk, I’ll give you an effin’ punk’ thing, y’know? That didn’t really click all the way into place ‘til I got Kidd.” The blond took a slightly shaky breath and exhaled deeply before shooting his friend a questioning glance. Ren nodded for him to continue. He wasn’t going to push and Ryuji knew that, but he was definitely curious. “Right. So, this was back when my leg was still healin’ last year. Had a rough day on it, came home feelin’ like ten kindsa shit, like bad enough I went straight to the bathroom and threw up I hurt so damn bad. And as I’m washin’ my face after, I catch how my face looks in the mirror and… and I look like just as much shit as I feel.” Ren could feel how sharply Ryuji spat the hollow, bitter laugh before he continued, “specifically, I looked just like my old man whenever he was hungover. Effin’ hated it, seein’ a face I had damn near blocked out ‘cause it’d been so long since I saw it just starin’ back at me from the mirror.” Ren wrapped his arm around his best friend’s shoulders the same way Ryuji’s was draped across his, then gave his best shot at a comforting squeeze.

Ryuji shot him a crooked smile and brightened as he kept talking. “Anyways, I told Mom what happened and asked if we could dye it the same color as hers. And she was totally down for it. So she went out, got a bleach kit, annnnnd when we used it, we totally overshot it. I lost track of time and turned my hair bright freakin’ yellow and patchy as hell, too,” he laughed. “And man, we laughed harder than we had in months at that. She spent the rest of the night callin’ me sunshine to mess with me, but it was nice seein’ her really smile again, y’know? So when she asked me the next day what kind of dye I wanted to cover it up with, I told her to grab more bleach and we’d try and even it out cause the blond grew on me. And honestly? The name did, too.” Ryuji shook Ren’s shoulder in warning. “But don’t tell her I said that.”

“My lips are sealed. It suits you, though. The name,” Ren affirmed and ruffled his hand through the shock of surprisingly soft, blond hair, “and the look.” Ryuji swatted his hand away with a laugh and let it settle back on his shoulder.

“Yeah. Long as I can get away with it, I’m keepin’ it.” Ryuji stretched and fixed Ren with a look. “Aight, now what were you actually thinkin’ about?”

“Uh, w-well.” Shit. Nothing else came to mind through the haze of mild panic that struck Ren. No excuses, no delays, no deflections. Oh, to hell with it, nothing ventured, nothing gained. Time to just rip the bandage off. “Your mom thinks we’re dating and you just forgot to tell her because you got caught up in being excited about it.”

“WHAT?!” Ryuji yelped and jumped back like he’d been burned. Not the best reaction, but Ren was already determined to just get it all out.

“Yeah. And as soon as she put it like that, I suddenly wasn’t sure that I just… hadn’t realized I’d accepted a confession at some point.” He explained, eyes fixed on the path in front of them. Ryuji laughed, high and nervous, bordering on slightly hysterical.

“Wh-when would I have even--”

“My place is next to you.” Ren’s heart was hammering in his chest hard enough that he was worried it might crack a rib or five.

“...oh. Right. Okay, yeah, that’s… that’s fair.” Ryuji had stopped walking and was frowning at the concrete as he scuffed the toe of his shoe at it. “So you been tryin’ to let me down easy or somethin? Don’t worry about it, dude, that wasn’t…” He trailed off and Ren finally turned to face him. The pang that squeezed his heart left him breathless when he saw the look of utter disappointment on Ryuji’s face. Ren was frozen, even as something in the back of his head screamed at him to fix it before Ryuji got the wrong idea. The blond straightened up with a laugh that sounded more like a scoff and ran a hand through his hair. “Man, that explains all the ‘you know you can tell me anything’ conversations she’s been tryin’ to have lately. I was worried she’d caught on about the Phantom Thief stuff, but she just… God, do I even wanna know what you told her?”

Ren practically jumped at the opening. “I told her if I’d known it was that kind of ‘hey come meet my mom’ that I would have brought better coffee.” He tried to look his best friend in the eye as he confessed, but just… couldn’t. Better to focus on getting the words out however he could. “I haven’t been trying to figure out how to let you down easy, kind of the opposite, actually.” He did his best to ignore the quiet intake of breath that got, or the way Ryuji tensed in his peripheral vision. “I’ve been working up the courage to ask and bracing myself for when you shot me down. I… I really like you.”

“...forreal?” Ryuji’s voice was soft with disbelief.

“Yeah.” Ren’s voice cracked, nerves finally getting the better of him. But he could at least answer, even if he still couldn’t look the other boy in the eye.

“You… You like me? Like, like-like me?”

“Yes. Have for a while, now. I might... “ Ren cleared his throat and tried again. “I might be a little past just like at this point, honestly.”

A breathless, disbelieving chuckle followed by, “Seriously?”

“Mhm.” A stiff nod.

“Why?” Ryuji’s tone had escalated from disbelief to full-on incredulity, sapping away all of Ren’s nerves in favor of sheer indignance when he whipped around to his best friend.

“How could I not?!” Ren nearly shouted, just self-aware enough to be glad they were alone. “You’re brave, so goddamn brave and so goddamn kind, protecting people--total strangers, sometimes--and expecting nothing back! You’re ridiculously good-looking and have an amazing smile and the best laugh I’ve ever heard, not to mention you’re just so damn compassionate? Quick to help people and even quicker to apologize when you mess up, even with just the little mistakes, and you always mean it and try to do better. And I’ve never in my life met someone as loyal as you, never had someone that I could rely on the way I rely on you!” Ren ranted, slightly light-headed from how quickly the words just poured out of him. “For fuck’s sake, you saved my life when I was just some guy off the street! The Phantom Thieves wouldn’t exist at all without you, and I… I would have spent the rest of the year, maybe even the rest of my life hiding if I hadn’t met you--”

“Hey.”

“Huh?” When had Ryuji stepped so close? How had Ren not noticed those warm, calloused hands cupping his jaw and tipping his head back up to look back at a face that wore an achingly-sweet expression of pure admiration, tempered only by the hint of apprehension at the corners of those warm, brown eyes Ren was such a sucker for?

“I’m gonna kiss you now. Izzat okay?”

“Please.” Ren whispered as his heart jumped up into his throat and Ryuji’s flushed face drew closer.

Both boys’ eyes fluttered shut at the first brush of lips, soft and deliberate. The second was just as gentle, just as careful, even as Ryuji’s fingers twitched against Ren’s jaw like it was taking all of his self control not to just dive in. Like he’d been thinking about how to do it right, planning it for a while, and that thought made Ren’s stomach flip. He slid one hand up the nape of Ryuji’s neck and buried his fingers in his hair at the third kiss, and wrapped his free arm around the blond’s waist to pull him closer partway through the fourth. From there, he lost count. It was the seventh or eighth kiss that found him pressed up against a nearby tree, and something like the thirteenth before nerves gave way to excitement and one of them deepened the kiss. He stopped counting entirely after the cautious sweep of Ryuji’s tongue over his lower lip temporarily shorted out his higher brain functions and pulled an embarrassingly needy sound from the back of his throat. Somewhere in the distantly coherent part of his brain, Ren made a mental note to start buying gum or mints because coffee-and-curry breath was… not great for kissing. It still took the two of them several minutes to break apart because kissing Ryuji, finally actually kissing him, was so much better than he’d imagined, even after months of daydreaming.

“So…” Ren sighed against the corner of Ryuji’s mouth, their foreheads resting against each other as they caught their breath. “Just to make sure we’re on the same page, no room for confusion--”

“Oh my god Renren, seriously?!” The words didn’t have any bite, being equal parts incredulity and laughter as Ryuji shoved gently at Ren’s shoulder.

“I just wanna be sure!” Ren laughed right back.

“Are you effin’ serious, how can you not be-- fine.” Ryuji pulled him into a tight hug, peppering his face with kisses as he spoke. “Ren Amamiya,” kiss, “will,” kiss, “you be,” kiss, “my,” kiss, “boyfriend?”

“Yes.” Ren turned his head to catch another kiss that Ryuji had aimed at his temple, sliding his tongue into the blond’s mouth and kissing him hard enough that his best friend was scarlet when he pulled away. “I would love to.”

Then he kissed Ryuji again. And again. And again.

-----

Eventually, Ren and Ryuji had broken apart long enough to return his glasses and get him on a train back to the cafe. He had been grinning like a dork for the entire ride and practically floated back into Leblanc when he got back, earning a weird look from Morgana on the counter. Sojiro was too busy to notice, nearly done cleaning up with most of the dishes already put away and the next day’s curry prepped and simmering. Ren stepped in, grabbed the washcloth off the side of the sink and started wiping down the counter.

“I can finish cleaning, you go ahead and get home to Futaba.” He insisted.

“Well you’re in a good mood. I take it you impressed the mother-in-law?” Boss teased.

“Yep, I think I did!” Ren chirped from behind the counter, then tried not to laugh. Sojiro did a double take and his face flickered through several expressions at once--sly and teasing, smug triumph, confusion, recognition, and further confusion--as he realized his ribbing hadn’t landed like it had just that afternoon.

Eventually he let out a “hmph” before probably deciding not to ask. “Don’t forget to lock up, and put back everything you borrowed, alright? I’ll see you in the morning.”

Ren waved as the door jangled shut behind him and hummed cheerfully as he worked.

“I take it you two idiots finally figured it out?” Morgana asked and Ren only grinned. At that point his face was starting to hurt from smiling so much. “Blech, glad I missed out.” The cat stretched languidly before hopping down and trotting up the stairs. “Congratulations, though. Taste notwithstanding, I’m happy for you two.”

“So you don’t want the play-by-play?” Ren called after him.

“I will steal your bed and make you sleep in a booth!”

#my writing #kiss ryuji day #persona 5 #pegoryu #akiryu #how obvious is it that I never write kissing like. ever.#no beta we die like [December spoilers]#which is to say. ambiguously.#oh my god I actually finished a wip it's a christmas miracle

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b-lessings · 3 years

Text

Muslims of tumblr, what's your favorite concept/ notion about Islam? Preferably exclusive to Islam (but not necessarily).

I will go first: For me it has to be the unlimited uncountable infinite endless unimaginable amount of forgiveness from Allah swt.

In surat al-nisaa (4), Allah swt says "

إِنَّ اللَّهَ لَا يَغْفِرُ أَنْ يُشْرَكَ بِهِ وَيَغْفِرُ مَا دُونَ ذَٰلِكَ لِمَنْ يَشَاءُ ۚ

Surely, Allâh does not forgive (unless the sinner turns to Him with repentance) that a partner be associated with Him but He forgives everything short of it to whomsoever He will.

So basically, ANYTHING, literally ANYTHING a person could do, even the unthinkable is actually FORGIVABLE as long as that person believes in the oneness of Allah swt. Human beings are often unable to forgive, especially when we get hurt, which makes it hard for us to imagine the width and vastness of Allah's capability to forgive. As his forgiveness is divine, it is not something that our human brain can comprehend or fathom.

And before that, in surat Al-Imran (3), Allah swt says :

وَسَارِعُوا إِلَىٰ مَغْفِرَةٍ مِنْ رَبِّكُمْ وَجَنَّةٍ عَرْضُهَا السَّمَاوَاتُ وَالْأَرْضُ أُعِدَّتْ لِلْمُتَّقِينَ

Be quick in the race for forgiveness from your Lord, and for a Garden whose width is that (of the whole) of the heavens and of the earth, prepared for the righteous,-

Allah swt is actually asking us and urging us to HURRY to his forgiveness, not to lazily or , weakly, ask for it, but to be eager for it! To be quick, to be competitive to gain his forgiveness. Sübhanallah.

And then in Surat Al-Kahf (18), Allah swt says :

وَرَبُّكَ الْغَفُورُ ذُو الرَّحْمَةِ -

But your Lord is Most forgiving, full (owner) of Mercy -

الغفور

Al-ghafur is often translated as The Most Forgiving , but if you know anything about Arabic grammar, then you know that it is a sighat mubalagha (superlative form that means a hyperbole, to show the excess and exaggeration). It is following the form/ rule fa'ul and it actually means the one who EXCESSIVELY does that action. The word " ghafur " is repeated 91 times in the Quran. Allah swt is telling us 91 times that He swt does not only forgive but He is THE MOST FORGIVING. That He swt forgives over and over and over again, that He swt forgives endlessly, unconditionally, his forgiveness never runs out! And I think that is a very underrated concept. I think not many people come to understand the depth and the width of Allah's forgiveness which makes them fall into despair. If people could realize that Allah's door is always open for them no matter how many times they sinned and no matter how big and ugly their sins were, they can always turn to Al-ghafur, the one who never gets bored or annoyed or has enough from forgiving his servants, then they'd never let Shaytan convinced them that they are unworthy of Allah's forgiveness.

I once read a quote that resonated with me, it was something like our biggest mistake is that we put humanistic norms and perceptions to Allah's qualities. But Allah swt is not human. Your parents, your siblings, your partner, your child, your friend, your neighbor, your boss might get sick of forgiving you if you keep doing them wrong, even if you apologized a billion times or if you made a big gesture for them, once they are done, they might just leave your life without turning back. But Allah swt is never like that. Allah swt will never turn His back on you. Allah swt has told us that He will never stop forgiving us no matter what we do, as long as we never associate anything or anyone with Him. Anything else? Doesn't matter, it you are sincere and if you are honest and if you showed a real regret and if you gave up that sin, then in shaa Allah the most Forgiving will accept your repentance and will grant you a new chance. So why don't we run to His door as soon as we sin? We do we let Shaytan intoxicate our thoughts and take us away from Allah swt? Prophet Muhammad (ﷺ) says “Every son of Adam commits sin, and the best of those who commit sins are those who repent." Sinning, making mistakes, is part of being human. And repenting, asking for Allah's forgiveness is what makes us among the best of humans.

Allah swt teaches us throughout the Quran by mentioning the prophet's stories that even the prophets themselves committed sins, and that Allah swt has repeatedly forgiven them, He swt has been forgiving us since the beginning of life. He has been forgiving us since the very first Human being! He forgave prophet Adam (as) for disobeying him and eating from the tree. In surat Ta Ha (20), Allah swt says:

وَعَصَىٰ آدَمُ رَبَّهُ فَغَوَىٰ • ثُمَّ اجْتَبَاهُ رَبُّهُ فَتَابَ عَلَيْهِ وَهَدَىٰ

Thus did Adam disobey his Lord, so he went astray. Then his Lord chose him, and turned to him with forgiveness and gave him guidance.

— Quran 20:121–122

And He has been forgiving us endlessly, repeatedly, ever since! He's never had enough, the waterfalls of his forgiveness have never dried!

I will end this post by mentioning my two favorite duāas for forgiveness, the duaa that Prophet Adam as and our Mother Hawa made when they were still in the Garden, after eating from the tree, this duaa is mentioned in surat Al-aaraf (7) :

رَبَّنَا ظَلَمْنَا أَنْفُسَنَا وَإِنْ لَمْ تَغْفِرْ لَنَا وَتَرْحَمْنَا لَنَكُونَنَّ مِنَ الْخَاسِرِينَ

‘Our Lord, we have wronged ourselves, by our act of disobedience, and if You do not forgive us and have mercy on us, we shall surely be among the lost’.

& the duaa that Prophet Yunus (Jonas) made when he was inside the whale's belly, this duaa is mentioned in surat Al-anbiaa (21) :

لَّا إِلَهَ إِلَّا أَنتَ سُبْحَانَكَ إِنِّي كُنتُ مِنَ الظَّالِمِينَ

"There is no God but You, Glorified be You! Truly, I have been of the wrongdoers.''

May Allah swt forgives all our sins, the previous ones and the next ones, the apparent ones and the hidden ones. May Allah swt shower us with his forgiveness and mercy, and may Allah swt forgive those of this ummah who have passed away and have no one left to remember them and ask Allah swt to forgive them. Ameen.

A.N: I lack the knowledge to claim if this concept is exclusive to Islam, so if anyone knows that information please do share, jazakum Allahu kulla khayr.

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sunshineandbnha · 3 years

Text

Unexpected - Denki x reader (Valentine’s Day)

Word count: 3,978

Warnings: none, aside from a case of “Did not edit, just finished this this morning”

A/n: HOW DID THIS END UP SO LONG?? I swear, I started it with the idea and intention that it would be 1.4k or 1.9k words. How did I accidentally write two thousand more words? Anyway, I hope this is a good valentine fic for Denki boy. I thought of it due to a prompt on tumblr. If I can later remember who it was who made it, I will edit this and have a link to that post.

Edit: Found it. The prompt was made by @love-me-a-good-prompt

When was it you started to look at him differently?

"Hey!"

You looked over your shoulder to find Kaminari making his way past several students in the cafeteria to get to you. You turned your body to face him. Though, you felt awkward about still holding your lunchtray, as if it was a barrier between you and him.

"Do you got a date for tomorrow?" he asked with a grin.

Your heart gave a weep at the reminder of Valentine's day. As if the hearts and commercials all over the place weren't enough. "What do you think?"

"Just checking." He dashed to get his lunch tray he had set down, and sped walked to your side as you picked a table to sit at.

Kaminari had been your friend for several months. One day you had simply overheard him talking about a manga, the same one you had read, and you jumped into the conversation. After that, the both of you became easy friends, and frequently had lunch at the same table.

"Why would you even ask?” You slid into a seat at the table. “You know there's no one I'm really interested in."

"Except for fictional characters," he added while getting into his own chair across from you.

"Yeah. Unfortunately they aren't available for me to ask out."

He leaned back in his seat. “We’re really missing out on these things. I thought by the time I was in high school training to be a cool hero, I would have tons of girls who like me by now.”

“And I, for some reason, thought I would magically manifest a special someone. But that’s clearly not happening anytime soon.” You stared down while absent mindedly stirring your food.

He suddenly sat straight and looked at you with a twinkle in his eyes. The kind that told you he had an idea. "What if we did all of that classy Valentine's day stuff together?"

"I think you meant cliche."

"Banana, ba- ... oh wait, that's not how the saying goes."

You let out a large laugh and nearly choked on your food.

"Something with tomatoes or potatoes," he continued with a wave of his hand as if throwing away the topic. "Well, what do you think? You wanna do it?"

"You just want the chocolate, don't you?"

"No! I would never!" He waved his arms around. "... Well, that too."

"I knew it!" You lifted your fork/chopstick of food into air in triumph. "Just make sure you get my favorite chocolate once White Day rolls around."

"Sure thing!" He gave a thumbs up. "I'm sure I can get enough money by then!"

"You've been using all of it on manga and snacks again, haven't you?"

"What else would I use it on?"

"Okay. Just don't use the money for my chocolate on manga."

"If I did, It would be a great manga and be worth a lot more than some chocolate. Actually, that should be a thing. Instead of getting girls chocolate, get them manga! And we should get manga too. ... So, are we doing it?" he asked when he paused long enough to think.

"I don't know,” you shrugged while taking another bite.

He slammed his hand on the table. "But you said it like you did! I just agreed to get you chocolate next month!"

"I was saying if I agreed. If I agreed then you would have to get me chocolate.” You internally laughed at his response.

Kaminari slumped in his chair. "Okay, but my point is, how long have we been single? And it doesn't look like it's going to change anytime soon, so I was thinking why not we experience some of it while we're still in high school?"

"Hmmm," you tapped your finger against your lip. "Well, you have a point. And I guess I got nothing better to do tomorrow."

“So it’s a yes?” his eyes lit up.

“I guess so.”

“Yes!” He jumped up and some heads turned towards him. “I got a—!”

You hastily pulled him back down and got a hold of his ear. He yelped in pain before you shushed him. The attention he had gained was beginning to die down after doing that, much to your relief. You released a small puff of air, grateful that you didn’t feel like you were in a spotlight anymore.

“Kaminari,” you whispered into his ear, an edge present in your voice, “Don’t go announcing it to the world, especially if it’s not an actual date. Do not ruin it for me.”

You let go, and he got out of the awkward position of being pulled half way onto the table. Thankfully, he hadn’t landed in his food when you pulled him down. He settled back in his chair and rubbed his ear.

“Okay! You can count on me!”

Maybe it was a bad idea to suddenly agree when that meant you had to make chocolate for him that night. You already had some chocolate you bought from the store for family and friends. One of those giri chocos was originally going to be his, but now you would have to actually make him honmei choco if you were going to have the whole Valentine's Day experience. You considered skipping on that for a brief second, but you had already agreed to do it. Plus, you weren't sure if you would ever get to do this during high school at this rate. And you wanted to at least have done it once.

You'd have to run to the store to get better quality chocolate, a cute wrap for it, and a heart shaped mold. In order to save time, you went directly to the nearest store after school. It would save time, which you didn't have much of it. You didn't know how long it would take to make them, and you wanted some extra time in case you make a mistake and had to do something over again.

It was more crowded than you thought. You also didn't realize how many stares you would get just for being in your U.A. uniform. Thankfully, everything you needed was there and you made your way to the counter to pay. As you were weaving your way through the people, you thought you saw another student. You did a double take. Uniform. Pink skin. Ashido.

You tried to duck and hide, but it was too late.

"Oh, hey!" She waved you down and ran to you. A bag of purchased goods was hanging from her arm. "What are you doing here? Are you getting last minute giri choco too!"

“I, uh.”

“Hey, isn't that stuff to make chocolate? Wait a second… OMG! Who’s the lucky person!”

You nervously held the items close to you. This was why you didn't want her seeing you. "No one, really. I'm just... making it for the experience." You put a smile onto your face and did your best to make the last half of the sentence sound cheery.

It wasn't technically a lie. You just hoped she bought it. Because if she kept prying and learned it was for Kaminari, you would never hear the end of it.

"Okay. Can I have some when you're done?" She joked and bumped your arm with her elbow.

"Only if I didn't eat it all first." You internally high fived yourself for the quick reply.

"Okay. Well, see you at U.A." She waved before dashing out the door.

"Bye!" You watched her go. When she was out of view, you exhaled a breath you didn't know you were holding.

You stood nervously in the park. You wore a Valentine Day themed outfit you had put together, with the help of some ideas from the internet. It was 5:45 pm, the time you agreed on meeting. You had honestly expected him to be slightly late. Though it did nothing to make your feel less jittery.

There were quite a few people who also had the same idea of going to the park. Some friends playing Frisbee. A family walking by. And some couples. You scanned the area for him, multiple times, but still couldn't see him.

Why were you even so worried? This was your friend. It’s not like it was an actual date with someone you liked. If he forgot or something, you could just chew him out later. Then that 'what if' situation made you sick to your stomach and you forced yourself to stop thinking about it.

"Hey!"

You head turned up within a split second and you saw him. He wore a dark blue button up shirt. This plus his smile and hair... somehow made him look nice. A smile spread on your face, yet your nerves didn't completely calm down just yet.

"Hey!" You greeted back.

"You look nice," he commented.

"You too." You nodded. "So, what were you planning on doing first?"

"I thought we'd walk around here first, then go to this one restaurant. And after that we can wander around shops." he shrugged.

"Okay, sounds nice." You began walking side by side with him.

Your brain tried to sabotage the moment by beginning to make you feel awkward. You did your best to push it away. But were you supposed to be walking in silence? Or talking?

"You wanna hold hands?" He offered.

"Hmm," you joking held your finger to your lip in deep thought. "I think no."

"Oh, come on!" He acted upset, but there was a big grin on his face.

You laughed and he joined in. A few more jokes were thrown back and forth as you passed trees and other people. Though within a seemingly short amount of time, the conversation hit dead end. You pulled on your sleeve and look in any direction but him.

"Okay, this is getting boring,” he said. “Can we go to the restaurant now?”

"Lucky for you, I think we're almost at the end of the park, and I'm hungry."

“Yes!” he cheered. “They always make walking through the park look more fun in the movies.”

“Yeah,” you agreed with a laugh.

Kaminari led you to the place he picked out. Well, more like he tried to go there, then got lost and had to give up on relying on his memory. He made the brilliant move of pulling out his phone, setting the location on his map app, and he following it. But you both realized that he had gotten the point where you going mixed up with your location. This resulted in having to backtrack and ignoring your growling stomach as it took even longer to get there.

Finally, you found it. You entered through door with him. Inside were tables placed around a large circle. The conveyor belt had several plates of food with different types of sushi and other dishes. The chiefs in the middle of the circle conveyor worked hard to keep the food coming. Almost every table was filled.

“Aw, man. We should have gotten here earlier,” Kaminari grabbed your hand. “C’mon.”

You both ran until you spotted a free table and slide in. It took a second to catch your breath after the sudden sprint. Sitting in the chair, you looked around more closely. It was a nice place. There were people chattering, some clanking of plates, and mouth watering food slowly passing by you. You reached up to begin to grab one, but then you stopped yourself.

"Wait, am I paying for myself or where you...?"

"You can have whatever you want. My treat," he replied with a ish eating grin. Probably meant that he thought what he just said was very cool.

You laughed to yourself and picked one and he did the same. It was good. You were pleasantly surprised, though you weren't sure why. Maybe it was because he had only learned of the restaurant while looking up ones online to take you to. And it was only yesterday that you agreed. Then again, you had made honmei choco the other night...

You suddenly remembered something and nearly choked on your sushi roll.

"You okay?" Kaminari said, unfortunately dismissing any hope you had that he didn't notice.

"No, I'm good. I just need to make a phone call. One second." You excused yourself and walked outside while pulling out your phone.

It was an uncomfortable change to suddenly be greeted by the chilly February air. Was it really that cold when you were with Kaminari? You dialed your mom's number and resisted the urge to pace.

As soon as you heard the other end being picked up, you began. "Mom, I need you to get something for me. If you look in the kitchen, somewhere on the counter is where I left a bag of chocolate for Valentine's day. Can you bring that to me?" You had been so busy trying to get ready and be on time, that you had accidentally left the honmei choco you made.

"Uhh, okay. But where are you? It’ll be awfully hard to give it to you if I don’t know where you are."

"In a little bit I should be..." you tried to think of a good point to meet up, "near Takoba Municipal Beach Park. Probably close to that one gazebo. I'll text you that so you don't forget after I hang up."

"Okay. I hope you appreciate this. I really don't feel like going all the way out there to give you something you forgot."

"If I could go back and un-forget it, I would. Thank you. Bye."

With that, the call ended. You took a deep breath to calm your heart, which seemed to think forgetting chocolate was a catastrophic event, and went back inside.

When you caught sight of Kaminari again he was dunking a chunk of seaweed and fish into soy sauce, before shoving it into his already full mouth. He stopped and paused upon seeing you. He chewed and swallowed as quickly as he could and finished by the time you sat back down.

"So, what was that about?" he started it off as a joke, but his voice seemed shaky for whatever reason.

"I just forgot something and asked Mom to go get it for me." Technically wasn't a lie.

"Oh, okay." He began eating more. He started counting the plates and you could see his face pale a tad.

"Is everything alright for you?"

"Huh? I mean, yeah, everything's great." He smiled at you.

You shrugged and focused your gaze on the conveyor belt. A particularly delicious looking morsel. It was clearly more expensive, with a nice layer of tuna in it. You reached out your hand, considering getting it when you saw Kaminari flinch at your action.

You turned to him. "Do I need to pay for my own meal?"

"No, no," he tried to retain the coolness he built up, "I can pay."

You sighed. "No, you are not going broke because of expensive fish."

"But, that's not-"

"What? It's not cool? Denki- oops.” You realized you accidentally used his given name.

His face turned the slightest bit pink, though you hardly even noticed in your own embarrassment. “That’s fine. You can call me Denki. We’ve known each other long enough.”

“Thanks,” you nodded and continued, “Denki, you are my friend," why did the word 'friend' leave a different taste this time 'round? "and I don't want you doing something stupid because you think it makes you look cool."

He struggled to make a comeback and ended up blurting out, "Doing something stupid that makes me look cool defines me."

"Look, let's split the bill between us, that way you pay for some of mine, but you don't spend up the money for the chocolate you promised me."

"Wait, you didn't care about me, you just wanted to make sure you still got chocolate." He faked an offended expression.

You exhaled a laugh. "Yeah, sure. Whatever makes you feel better. As long as you agree."

"Fine."

"But don't purposefully buy more just because I'm offering to pay half."

"Can't make any promises~"

"You little-"

Eventually, you became full enough, or rather reached the maximum to what you were willing to pay. Then you left. You blinked when you stepped out. You hadn’t expected it to become this dark. Kaminari began walking off, probably to some store or the mall, but you grabbed his arm to stop him.

"Is it alright if we stop by the beach?"

His eyes lit up, like the stars in the sky. "Great idea! That'd be much more romantic."

You expected to roll your eyes, but what you found was your face growing warm and your mouth being lost for words. Thankfully, he didn't notice and just started running for the beach, pulling you along. Buildings loomed over you in the dark, until they finally cleared and the beach came into view. The sea seemed to become the night sky. It gently washed over the sand in a rhymic pattern. The sound of it filled your ears and your senses listened. A sense of calmness washed over you.

You both walked up to the gate that separated the beach from the road. Kaminari leaned against the metal gate, resting on his arms. The two of you stared at the view in a comfortable silence.

“Wow, this is nice,” he commented.

“Yeah.” There was a weird feeling, somewhat reminiscent to a flutter or squeeze, in your chest. Something that made the moment seem more magical. You could almost feel this feeling rising and beginning to climb up your throat.

More silence, then a movement caught your attention out the corner of your eye. Your mom was waving to you and held a small bag that slightly reflected in the small amount of light there was.

“One second, I need to go get something,” you let him know and ran to your mom. “Thank you so much.”

“Just don’t make this a habit,” she handed it to you. Then she glanced to where Kaminari was and squinted. “Is that your date? Is that why you were making chocolate?”

“No,” your voice came out more unsure for some reason, “well, I… was just making that for myself. This is just giri choco.”

“Okay.” She shrugged. “Don’t stay out much longer.”

“I won’t.” You quickly ran back. “Hey,” you greeted him.

“Hey. What was that about?”

“Noting important,” you shrugged and leaned on the gate. “Oh, and here.” You held the bag out to him, trying to act cool and nonchalant, but you knew you had a big smirk on your face.

He gasped and snatched it out of your hold. He wrestled with the bag, trying to get it open. Once he succeeded, he looked inside. A big smile spread across his face and he pulled it out. He held a large chocolate heart on a stick, almost like a lollipop. You thought that would be fun to make. Of course, now that he held it, you could see all the tiny imperfections. Like where a small air bubble had been, or how some chocolate had gotten on the stick. But Kaminari didn’t seem to care at all. He stared at it in awe. Like he had just been given something he wanted for years.

“Wow! Wait, did your mom just give this to you? Did you forget?” he looked over to you.

“What, no, I would never…” you laughed nervously. “But I did make it. You better like it, or else,” you joked.

“I’m sure I will! Wow. You made this?”

“Yep. Last night.”

“Thank you!” He took a bite out of it and began happily chewing.

You smiled. Your eyes locked onto the gazebo on the beach. It looked really nice. The thought of you being in it made you want to go even more. Currently there was a couple there, but then they walked out and started going down the beach. Your eyes lit up.

You looked to Kaminari, tugged on his sleeve, and pointed to the now empty location.

He grinned. “I think I know what you’re thinking and I think we should do it too.”

With a couple of small laughs you both hurried down to the beach was fast as you could. The sand made you slow your pace into a walk, but you didn’t mind. The sea air on you felt refreshing, chilling your skin. The moon was beautiful and the water reflected slivers of the moonlight that danced.

"It looks really nice." You smiled.

"Yeah... wanna hold hands?" He offered his free hand to you.

To your surprise, this actually sounded nice. And to your greater surprise, you accepted. Your hand slipped in his perfectly. Almost like it found its home. The second you skin touched, it was like electricity ran through you and jump started your heart. You were about to ask if he was using his quirk, but quickly realized that it didn't feel exactly like electricity. But the strange feeling in your heart continued. You couldn't tell if it felt nice or if you wanted it to go away.

Your feet kept sinking in the sand until you reached the pier and had to get used to walking on concrete again. You made your way to the roof on the end of the pier, hand in hand. You stood by the edge. Staring at the water.

Kaminari took the last bite. “That was delicious.”

“Thanks.”

“So…” he looked around. He put the stick back into the bag and placed it in his pocket. “Wanna dance?”

Instead of your usual joking reply, you felt flustered, but shyly accepted. He pulled out his phone and started some music up. You put your hand in his and the other on his shoulder. He held you by the waist. You tried to regulate your breathing and calm down. The two of you began spinning in time with the music. He twirled you around. You even did that one move you would see in movies. When you’d spin out, like a door opening, while still holding his hand. The he’d pull you back to him. It all felt simple, and fun.

Right as the fourth song was ending, you had an overwhelming urge to ask him something. “Umm,” then you stopped yourself when you realized exactly what it was you actually wanted to ask. But why did it feel like it was rising out of your throat, desperately wanting to be said.

“Yeah?” he looked at you. His yellow eyes made you feel like melting, an effect they never had up until that point.

“I… it was nothing.”

“Really?”

“No.” You cursed yourself for automatically saying the truth.

“Then what is it?” He looked at you more intently.

Your mind was doing somersaults trying to figure out what to do or say. “Date, please,” you blurted out.

“Huh?”

“Well, um.” You really wished you had kept your mouth shut. You stared down and said in the most quiet voice possible, “I think maybe I kinda like you and maybe, kinda, want to go on a real date with you. Maybe? If you’d be fine with that, maybe.”

“Wait,” he stepped back as if in surprise. “You. Want to date… me?”

Your face was burning to the point you wanted to stick into the water like an ostrich. “Yes?”

He threw his arms in the air and jumped around. “Yes! I got an actual date! I’m finally dating someone! They said I couldn’t do it!”

“You don’t need to announce it to the whole world.” You laughed.

“Well, you are m—”

“I swear, if you say finish with ‘my world’ I will knock you over the head.”

He let out a big laugh. “Why? You don’t want to be my world?”

His laughter was contagious. “No, it’s cheesy, and this literally just happened a minute ago.”

You both started to walk back, and hardly even noticed when your hands slipped perfectly into one another.

#denki x reader #kaminari x reader #kaminari denki x reader #denki kaminari x reader #Valentine's day #bnha denki #mha denki #bnha kaminari #mha kaminari #bnha x reader #mha x reader #bnha #mha #boku no hero academia #my hero academia

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joshslater · 3 years

Text

Breeder

Similar stories and bonus material on my Patreon. (Repost without the photo from another tumblr post)

I can’t remember the last time I came that much. Pump after pump of cum up his ass, and as I pulled out, one final squirt between his butt cheeks just to make more of an impression. I looked at his tight, pink T-shirt, his tight, leaking asshole, his smooth, slim legs, and his white calf-high Nike socks. “Fuck, I needed this so badly,” I exhaled and threw myself down on the bed next to him. It was my fault he was almost fully dressed, just barely out of his shorts. When we entered his apartment my juices were almost spilling over. We just kicked off our shoes and I started to grope him while we quickly moved to his bedroom. It had been such a stressful couple of weeks with tons of extra hours. Every day I felt drained of all energy the moment I stepped back into my apartment and hadn’t even had the energy to masturbate since… I don’t even remember. A month? More?

“I could tell,” he said, turning his head sideways looking at me. He was cute, even now that post ejaculation clarity had set in. My eyes had landed on him almost immediately once inside the bar. The radiant blue adidas baseball cap that we wore backward on top of his dirty blonde, shaggy hair and boyish face pulled me in. He was thin, so for him to have such tight clothes he probably shopped in the kids’ section. Just what I was looking for. A tiny twink I could just manhandle and drive hard. Kind of made me feel bad now for how one-sided that fuck must have been.

“I’m… It’s just with everything I haven’t been around much lately.” “Hey, don’t worry about it. We got plenty of time, if you want.”

He was still wearing the backward baseball cap as he lied on his front, looking at me with intense eyes. He wasn’t cute. He was gorgeous. Had I spent more time looking at his face than his butt walking to his place and his back being here I would have noticed earlier, but my dick had made all the decisions up until now. God, he must still be leaking cum into his bed given the size of the load I dumped in him. I wanted to tell him, to help him clean up.

He was biting his lip, still piercing me with his look. “Have you ever played puppy?” That came as a surprise. I’ve never understood that kink, and not just because I always top. I know some tops enjoy barking orders to a pup, or even dress up as an alpha dog, but it’s never been a thing I’ve understood nor at all considered.

“Can’t say that I have.” “Wanna try?”

He propped himself up on his arms, knuckles under his chin, elbows into the mattress. He was back to looking sweet and cute. I felt like I kind of owed him, but it’s not like I was doing him a favor either. Worst case it was nothing interesting and I could check another thing off the list.

“Sure, why not.” “Yass. I’ll get the things.”

He jumped out of bed and hurried out of the bedroom. If it wasn’t for the age check at the bar I wouldn’t have guessed him to be over 17. I assume he has a lot of creams in his bathroom and a strict diet. But then I would never miss a day at the gym. Different things are important to different people. “Take off your clothes” he shouts from another room somewhere. I slowly got up, and couldn’t help to look at the wet spot on the bed sheet where his ass had been.

I took off my jeans, my socks, my watch, and my shirt. I was just about to step out of my jockstrap when came back into the bedroom. “Keep that on for now.” I did as he said. This was his scene to direct. “Put these on.” He handed me a pair of leather wrist cuffs. Up until now it wasn’t clear who would play what role, though I had kind of assumed I would play the dog. Was I the dog? Would he also be a dog? I was kind of liking the uncertainty. The leather cuffs were high quality, and about as easy to secure as you could hope for when doing it on yourself. “And these,” he said as he gave me a pair of thigh straps, also leather. They were easy to secure, though I had no idea where this was going. He was rummaging in one of the drawers for something, and finally found a bottle of what I assumed to be lube. He proceeded to squeeze out a generous amount on the butt plug part of a tail plug. I’ve never seen one in person before. The plug part wasn’t that big, but the tail was huge.

“Now, get on all four.” I dropped down onto the floor. I was actually a bit anxious about this. I’m not an anal virgin, but I haven’t done a lot. I don’t even own a dildo myself. He walked behind me and I braced for impact, but he put the plug on a table and picked up something else. He crouched next to me and attached the wrist cuff with the thigh strap using a short chain with two metal clasps. Then he did the same on the other side. I wasn’t really sure what the purpose of the chains was. It would make moving around a bit awkward, but not stopping me from standing up or anything. He then positioned himself behind me and stuck a lubed finger up my ass and begun to wiggle it. “Not used to this, I feel.” He was damn right, but I was determined to take it like a man. He removed his finger and picked up the butt plug

I could feel him press the plug gently against my asshole, probing it lightly, only to then make a surprise, hard push and shove it all in at once. As soon as the sphincter grabbed it and pushed it into place I knew something was wrong. A shudder went like a wave through the body, and I yelped like a hurt puppy, surprising myself. I tried to cover my mouth as a reflex, but my armed yanked my leg, tripped myself despite already being on all four, and face planted on the carpet. “What the fuck!” I wanted to say, but what came out was an inarticulate “Whaaaff”. Getting real scared now I got up on all four again and frantically struggled to stand up, but somehow the body wouldn’t comply. It was like I couldn’t really grasp how to do it. I realized I was whimpering when he began to stroke me, petting my head like the back of a dog. “There, there. Calm down. There is nothing you can do about it now.”

He stood up and stepped away, while I was trying to figure out what was going on. I took a step forward using my right arm and leg. That worked. I took another step with my left arm and leg. My mind was a whirlwind like I couldn’t focus on anything. I wanted to stand up, but how could you stand up if you are already standing? I let out an “Aooo” of frustration. He was back by my side again with something in his hands. What was his name? Did he ever even tell me his name? “Here, this should make you calmer” He stroked the back of my head a few times, and as much as I hated it, it was soothing. I then felt something cold. He was putting a chain around my neck, and then clasped a leash to it. I don’t know why, but suddenly the noise in my head went silent.

“Good boy!” He stroked my head again. “Let’s go to the door and clean up your mess. Heel!” We started walking out of his bedroom and down his short hallway toward the door. My shoes laid randomly dropped on the floor, and a third shoe. It was one of his. A bright blue Nike air max shoe. The other one was neatly placed next to a row of other shoes. “Did you do that?” he asked and pointed at his shoe. “Bad puppy! Get it.” I raced ahead and bit into the heel of the shoe. It was still warm and smelled of his foot. It wasn’t that cheesy smell of reused socks or the sour note of workout sweat, but a light, earthy smell of everyday feet. Almost a bit like hay. “You like that?” I realized I was breathing in heavily with my nose in his sneaker, biting the ankle collar. I froze. I felt shame. Like I was doing something I shouldn’t be doing.

“Haha, it’s OK,” he said, and ruffled my hair. He proceeded to grab the other two shoes while I placed his sneaker on the floor and tried to dig my face into the opening. I didn’t get very far, but I manage to lick the inside bottom of the shoe. As it turned moist it released more fragrance. I could imagine him out on the streets, sweating during a hot day. Perhaps dashing to catch a ride. It wasn’t a pungent smell, but it was virile. It was the smell of someone with stamina. Then he stole it from me. “Hey, we have more cleanup to do.” I whined as he placed his shoe next to his other one.

Then he dropped on all four too and displayed his ass for me. “You left a mess here.” He didn’t have to say more as I attacked his butt cheeks with my tongue to clean them from my drying cum. It didn’t take many licks to clean him up around the butt hole. I then proceeded to lick the butt and to try to get my tongue as far up his ass as I could. While the taste was all mine, I kept breathing in his scent. It wasn’t at all as rewarding as the shoe. He was clean, had a citrus and cedar tree cologne, and hadn’t sweated much during our brief sex. I wished I would have worked him up harder. I know I could have made him exhausted from pleasure if I wanted to. He must have been squeezing now because my cum just kept coming out of him.

Abruptly he got up, mid lick. “Aw, you’re so hungry. Puppy needs food,” he said and walked into his small kitchen. I followed as fast I could. He opened the fridge and pulled out a few Tupperware containers, and dumped the contents into a dog bowl. He placed it on the floor. Brown rice, salmon, and broccoli. “There. Eat it all up. Puppy must stay strong for daddy.” I dove headfirst into the bowl and started to munch down the bowl of fridge-cold diet food. I realized I was starving and somehow this bland mush felt really satisfying. I started at a ferocious pace, but as I got down to the last quarter I was beginning to feel full. While grateful for the food, how could daddy know how much I could eat. Daddy? What was this nonsense? He’s a fuck I don’t even know the name of I picked up at a bar to breed. I was the top dog here, the alpha. This had to stop. I should stand up, take my stuff, and go. But I couldn’t stand up. I was already standing up. In frustration I howled.

He came back into the kitchen. I hadn’t even noticed him gone. He was wearing shorts again, but a different kind. Grey sweatpant shorts. He quickly sat himself down on the floor next to me, with crossed legs. He grabbed me and gently but firmly tipped me over so my head fell into his lap. “Puppy having a bad dream?” he asked. He didn’t sound mocking or sarcastic. His hand was stroking me on the side. I whimpered into his sweatpants. I could smell him again, the scent of a viril young man. I borrowed my head into his crouch and breathed heavily. I could smell his dick. Citrus, cedar, and precum. I began to lick the cotton fabric. “Good boy. Good boy.” I did nothing to his dick, but I could feel mine swelling in the jockstrap.

He gently pushed me away from him, got up, and filled another bowl with tap water. He placed it next to the first bowl. Then he held out one hand in front of me. I had to get up on all four from my lying position to see what was in it. Two white pills, one small and round and one larger and longer. "Here, take these. They will make you stronger and better.“ I sniffed but all I got was his scent. I licked up both pills in one go and plunged my head into the water bowl to get some water to swallow them with.

He got down on the floor with me again, and started to remove the wrist cuffs and thigh straps, all while stroking me on my back. "I don’t think we need these anymore,” he said. I had no idea what he meant. I was just happy he was touching me. My dick was happy too.

“Come, let’s make you ready for the night,” he said, got up and left the kitchen. I got up on all four and did my best to catch up with him. He walked to his bathroom and opened the door. I rushed to get in before him. “Hey, hey,” he lovingly scolded me. He turned on the light and revealed a large bathroom. Shower, bathtub, washing machine, lots of bottles of shampoo and jars with creams, and a large dog cage. “Sit,” he commanded.

I immediately sat down, pushing the tail plug in a bit. I felt a wave, like a shudder going from the ass through the body. He was looking through the large cupboard. “Ah,” he said and pulled out a small jar. He put on a disposable latex glove, and kneeled in front of my. “Let’s take care of that for you,” he said and freed my dick and balls from the jockstrap. He then dipped a few fingers in the jar and begun to massage some ointment all over my dick and balls. I didn’t recognize the faint smell. I could feel my private parts getting warmer, but if that was the salve or just him rubbing me I couldn’t tell. Then he put everything back into the jockstrap. “Let’s marinate that for a while and tomorrow you will last hours.” I didn’t understand him.

Then he went to the cage and opened it. I could see that the floor of the cage was filled with clothes. T-shirts, sweatshirts, shorts, trunks, socks. It all looked like gym clothes, or at last lazy day attire. “Come here, get in your cage.” There was a small part of me that wanted to hesitate, so I didn’t run in but deliberately walked. I could feel my dick and balls heating up as they fully erect rubbed within my jockstrap. As I got close and closer to the cage I could smell it. It somehow made me excited and I sped up my stride the last few steps into the cage. It was just filled with different scents of him. Not citrus or cedar, but him. Socks he had been running in. A T-shirt he had slept in. A pair of sweatpants that had been through a lot. I just kept moving my head all around the cage. In indecision I just laid down and started to wiggle and rub against everything.

He closed and latched the cage door. “Good night, puppy. Dream about fucking me.” He didn’t need to tell me that.

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