Local fictional piece of shit attracts fictional BPD-havers specifically and they are trying to kill each other because of it. More news at 11.

I destroy myself to make me feel better but in the end I always feel worse.

No one ever talks about the lack of emotional permanence but it’s literally one of my worst bpd struggles

•relief from people reassuring you only lasts while they do it. As soon as they stop nope and you freak out because you think things have changed since they stopped even if it was only 10 minutes ago (they haven’t told me they like me in two minutes obviously things have now changed and they no longer like me)

•you forget sometimes bad things people do so it makes you more likely to forgive people who shouldn’t be forgiven

•dependent on external validation yet it’s so short lived since external validation usually comes in the form of one off comments

•liking people based on how much they talk to you

•thinking if you haven’t done something in a little you now have lost the ability to do so (ie when I haven’t written in awhile I start to think my brain is broken and I’ll never write again)

•thinking it you haven’t done something in a little it’ll never happen again (ie haven’t gone to a concert in months so now I’ll never be at one again)

god the way people assume anyone online with a cluster b disorder has never even touched therapy and couldn’t possibly be working on managing their symptoms is ASTOUNDING

i’m undiagnosing myself, im happy

ok I wonder if there's someone out there who has this too

I don't get crushes or fall in love. instead, I become obsessed with people. I feel absolute loyalty and devotion to them. I'd do anything they ask without question. it's instinctive and automatic, I don't even think about it. I become their servant and follow them around like a puppy. every minimal attention from them gives me infinite joy.

this is always one sided and everyone eventually gets creeped out or annoyed and leaves. it breaks me every time. yet I can't stop it from happening. I try to hold back but it's almost impossible.

not that I would wish this on anybody, but please tell me I'm not the only one

daily reminder that there’s a difference between hating your abuser and hating every single person with npd. one is understandable the other one just makes you an asshole

hot take moment cwilbur is literally just psychotic as all hell and i think people got way too comfortable villianizing the shit out of a man who was clearly portraying signs of severe mental illness. cwilbur was like im so fucking paranoid and scared and i think everyone is out to get me and hurt me and ive spiralled to the point i cant reach out to the people closest to me because im so afraid and lost in this spiral and im having constant panic attacks and hurting myself because i dong know what to do with myself and the only way out for me is to die. and everybody was like EVIL MAN WHO ENJOYS HURTING OTHERS AND IS ABUSIVE ON PURPOSE AND A VILLAIN AND SHOULD NEVER BE TRUSTED AGAIN. and then he came back and was like im still deeply troubled and afraid but im desperately trying to make up for the wrongs i did in the past and the people i hurt in my own way and communication is really hard for me but i hope people know that im truely sorry and i love them. im going to try my hardest to fix this in the only way i know how and then respectfully remove myself from the situation because i feel thats the kindest thing i can do to the people ive hurt. and people were like ABUSER ABUSER ABUSER EVIL MAN ABUSER. like girl

Yeah no based true real no questions asked

I'd hope I manage to portray Wilbur the way he deserves in my content, cause that man is heavily bpd coded and he just needs therapy and someone who genuinely loves him but also can handle his bullshit (which has exclusively and reliably been Quackity like, canonically)

But yeah no completely agreed. The man has issues and has definitely fucked up a lot but at the end of the day he really does need love and care and patience, but also boundaries (and therapy and meds, obviously)

Good Friends & Good People

if you continue treating BPD like a set-in-stone subject, you continue to stigmatize so many women who have been harmed by the psychiatric industry.

i have been straight up discriminated against multiple times in medical settings for having those three letters on my charts. my life got better the day i rejected that bullshit diagnosis and decided to go to the root of my problems instead of hiding behind the shield of Sensitive Difficult Person Disease.

if we actually treated trauma victims with any dignity this wouldn’t even be an issue

Abusers never getting their story straight:

I spoke to one abuser who said that he wasn’t an abuser because he lacked self awareness about his behaviors during the time he abused women he had relationships with. So being mentally ill let him off the hook for abusive behaviors. But he still had a right to get revenge and abuse people in extreme ways who minorly hurt him as I was given details of those situations… but nobody has a right to hurt him back.

I spoke to one abuser who claimed he wasn’t the only abuser in the relationship and that him and his ex gf were 50/50 when it came to splitting up the role of being the abuser. So he went on to tell us in the chat that it’s a good thing bc now it’s a “fun” war where he’s justified in doing whatever he wants to his ex girlfriend and nobody can talk him into thinking differently. I asked for details and he told us, so fucking clearly, that his ex-gf just reacted to his abuse…. He drove her “crazy” basically.

I talked to another abuser that said he had NPD and his ex had CPTSD, OCD and BPD and he laughed about how they “made a beautiful mess of everything” when they dated. Red flag. From all the details, he had no self awareness of describing that he abused her first, but he thought “so what” bc “she’s bad too”, dragged her through horrible and stressful situations, justifying it bc “he had childhood trauma” causing her to react to him in such intensity and horrible behaviors back. He blamed her BPD and his NPD saying they were both abusers, but everything he described had absolutely nothing to do with her BPD, and more so to do with his treatment of her, and her simple reaction to that which can get either confused or overlap with BPD symptoms coming out. Why not blame her CPTSD? CPTSD had a lot of symptoms about flashbacks, emotional dysregulation, even anger issues sometimes and when she displays these symptoms why is that not automatic “she’s the abuser” with the CPTSD? Why not blame her OCD? Anxiety around loved ones too. He admitted without realizing it probably that he gaslit her and she did not gaslight him; he gaslighted her in extreme ways I was concerned that he will never change his way of thinking.

I’m spoke to another abuser who said he kept pushing a girl into a relationship and would never leave her alone and didn’t count this as emotional abuse and potential stalking. She non stop would run from him and tell him to get away and stop bothering her. He genuinely believed coercion isn’t abusive if he spread out his coercive behavior over the course of months as in: “coerce her for 3-5 minutes, then leave her alone, repeat for months every other week or so”. Which made no sense like “people change their minds especially if every week I can come up with something good to get her to turn her no into a yes”. He harassed her, stalked her, and coerced her into things she didn’t want to do and claimed she abused him when she reacted so badly to him one day at school and embarrassed him in front of all their classmates. Which he said he had a right to get revenge on her and bully her for embarrassing him; obviously he does not have a right to abuse her because he abused her first, she reacted and told him off in front of everybody, then he claimed to be a victim.

Mutual abuse is non-existent.

the gut wrenching jealousy and fear of abandonment I feel when an important friend of mine is affectionate with someone else

I hate missing the people who have probably forgotten about me. I hate it because they’ve moved on or forgotten but I haven’t. I dream about the day we coincidentally meet but I can only dream so much. there needs to be a day where I come to my senses and realize no one’s coming for me, no one cares, and no one will miss me like I miss them.

a conversation w a friend kind of has me thinking abt the fact that a lot of the things people hate robbie for is stuff that very much looks like symptoms of bpd (borderline personality disorder) and how people make exceptions for other characters w symptoms of other neurodivergency but then turn around and talk about how much they hate robbie

The worst part about having a favorite person is when you're not their favorite person, and you know it

i’m insane but in the sexy way