I want to share some of my “end of the world” dreams I’ve had past few months & year

I had a nightmare in which an enormous tsunami hit and I was watching from the outside of it. It was so big it wiped out an enormous amount of land. When I looked at it, it looked like the biggest thing in human history. I was terrified for everyone around me, worrying about the people who would drown. I didn’t know how to save them. This was the only dream where I felt helpless. But I was fine.

I had a dream where I knew it was the rapture and ran up and down my aunts street telling them the rapture is here and everyone ignored me. They were oblivious to the end of the world and its spiritual connections and only I knew. But I somehow knew it was happening. I was for some reason ALSO euphoric in this dream. Listening for Gods guidance. (That’s how I get under stress irl so idk…)

I had a dream the ground split open and so did the sky. There were storms everywhere and there were black and red clouds. The ground split open in between me and all my abusers separating us on two opposite sides of this area we were in, making me incredibly happy and I ran for it. I was also euphoric in this dream and listening to God.

I had a dream where Chinese soldiers entered the USA and were killing people in my neighborhoods. For some reason they were also firebenders. I got out and waited for gods guidance the whole time. Knew what to do and was feeling very euphoric and safe somehow knowing God never leaves me. I did board a ship at one point and they gave us rooms to sleep, and feeding us in these cafeterias that were on the ship. I remember feeling happy and giddy I saw people I knew growing up from my childhood friends I had. I was excited to see they were ok and vise versa.

I had an end times dream where there was so much dark dust and debris covering most of the USA and everything was super dark even during the middle of the day. It was black and dark gray and hard to see anywhere.

I saw in my dreams that there were red clouds and storms everywhere non stop. I saw people running around in chaos. System had fallen apart. There was so much chaos in the streets. People were seeking refuge. Chaos everywhere. God was guiding me again and protecting me.

I meant it happened in high school. In my senior year of HS an 18 yo boy walked up to me and started conversation and I politely declined bc I didn’t want to talk and he started yelling at me and calling me names and calling me rude. Just bc I was trying to read a book by myself. He ended up coercing me into conversation, and then coercing me into a relationship just bc he wanted to date me and I didn’t want to date him but I wasn’t allowed to say no.

Edit: I can’t even imagine walking up to a stranger and being cruel to them just bc they don’t wanna talk to me, then forcing them to hang out with me, never leaving them alone even when they set boundaries, and then coercing them into a relationship just bc I said so. Like I’m some kind of authority over them.

You’re allowed to reject anybody you want and you don’t need a reason. If a man walks up to you like the guy I dated in high school and he wants to talk and you decline and he starts saying you’re rude and disrespectful: that’s your first red flag to leave and stay far away from him. He’s abusive. If he tries coming up with any reason why you can’t or aren’t allowed to reject him, he is abusive. If he tries blaming you for any reason, he’s abusive. If he doesn’t immediately respect your wishes, he’s abusive.

I learned how simple it is to choose what God wants from us. Just be a good person. Help the needy, those who are hurting and need someone to talk to, and those in need in general. Just choose to give out love and joy as much as you can. Love yourself, care for your body and mind. Care about what you put in and on your body - but not out of fear of preventing things like cancer or sickness, but out of love for yourself. Self care routines are not selfish or bad. Give to charity. If a neighbor is struggling to lift boxes up, offer help to that neighbor. Look out for those around you strangers or friends. We’re all brothers and sisters because we’re all Gods children. Meditating daily is a huge spiritual gift you’re giving yourself. Train for peace, not war.

You’re allowed to reject anybody you want and you don’t need a reason. If a man walks up to you like the guy I dated in high school and he wants to talk and you decline and he starts saying you’re rude and disrespectful: that’s your first red flag to leave and stay far away from him. He’s abusive. If he tries coming up with any reason why you can’t or aren’t allowed to reject him, he is abusive. If he tries blaming you for any reason, he’s abusive. If he doesn’t immediately respect your wishes, he’s abusive.

Psychological abusers and their immediate need to get violent and manipulative when they feel offended: They think they’re the most perceptive and logical person in the room, like their ego is so big they think they’re the next step in human evolution but they haven’t even evolved past 10,000 BCE. People who behave like that are primitive and have a complete and utter lack of emotional intelligence; and that doesn’t make you more intelligent than others it makes you dumber. They’ll blameshift all they want and nobody can touch them but they’ll falsely accuse people of abuse anytime they wish usually relying on cognitive distortions and they believe they deserve special treatment; they’re entitled. They’re not god but believe they are and give punishment to whoever they wish. They’re built, I know, to have a lack of self-awareness (ego-syntonic personality pattern) which is why they often don’t see how embarrassing and rigid their views are.

Spirit realm is so high vibrational there’s no suffering, no mental illness, no physical illness, and no trauma or anger. That’s a perfect world, a perfectly evolved society. Living high vibrational also helps reduce illness in the body and brain as we know.

I’m not flawed… I’m the way I’m supposed to be.

Dude idk what happened to me over the years, I went from being numb to violence to feeling sick and crying from watching a stupid horror movie. It’s like my trauma is almost catching up to me. All the years I’ve likely dissociated while being traumatized, while witnessing violence in my own household, my relatives or my sibling being violent to me, now all the emotions are coming up somehow. I’m going from numb and confused to over emotional and over stimulated.

Speaking on near death experiences:

I’m inclined to believe people but what is really going on when someone has an NDE that is “hellish” and they experience punishment rather than seeing a graceful loving God or are shown punishment and hellish realms?

I’ve watched thousands of near death experiences and majority are pleasurable but some of the ones I’ve been watching are “hellish” and I need to know why…..

Some people said they came from the Middle East and didn’t believe in Jesus Christ, yet met him when they died… and their entire faith changed forever after that…… ahhhh some said they didn’t know about Jesus while on earth but met him.

the thing that stuns me is, yes, culture/whateev can slightly influence experience of somebody visiting the spirit realm and coming back, they are told they’re shown things that make them feel safe and happy, spirits or religious entities say commonly “I can shapeshift my appearance to make you feel safe” so that explains why people see Jesus differently (in one NDE he wore a robe, in another he wore suit and looked funny and made some jokes.) like if the NDEr lived in the city and loved it bc it was home to them, they’ll be met with a heavenly version of a city. But a lot of NDEs see things or religious beings that AREN’T from their background/culture/faith… which is the most interesting thing to me and it’s common.

Hearing stories like that used to give me anxiety about the afterlife but now with my experiences of God always showing me he loves me and is in my side makes me feel very peaceful. Makes me feel “chosen”.

If there is a hell-type place then who goes there? Some of these NDE people only give the idea that they’ve done something wrong and God sent them back to earth to fix things and fulfill their purpose.

Edit: So some of these people who went to a “hell” type place said they were abusers in their life. They were inauthentic and manipulative and uncaring for others and I’m surprised finding NDEs of abusers admitting to their abuse piblicly after these NDE experiences. That’s just wow. I’ve collected a lot of these NDEs recently.

And define NDE: “a spiritual experience that one has upon clinical death.”

I know God helped me and guided me on getting justice once before…and when I was going to stupidly act on anger in a bad way toward my abuser he told me to stop and get the f outta there but I wonder if it was to protect me or bc he doesn’t like revenge? I don’t want to jump conclusions and I could straight up ask him but sometimes I don’t get answers. But I know he has a history of protecting me. What about when I wanted to dabble in the goetia and “darker” witchcraft bc I was super curious about horror related things like hell and demons or these strange entities? He literally told me no and to “stop don’t do that” then I waited and tried again, testing Gods voice if it really was him, and again I heard him go “No, stop! Don’t!” Was it bc these entities are real? Was it bc he doesn’t like hexing? The thing with the gods is sometimes I ask a question and will receive an answer, other times I ask and I hear silence. I don’t want to demand at all. I just want clear and straight answers like when he protects me are the main times he gives me super clear and detailed answers. Idk I’ll always be wondering about the mystery of the other side.

The weird thing about abusers is they get vengeful over perceived slights that never happened, interpreting your intentions as negative toward them and using other cognitive distortions like black and white thinking to stabilize their delusional belief, and they project onto you without even seemingly realizing it… like each abuser to varying degrees seems to not even be aware of it?? I’ll tell ya, lack of self-awareness on both a human and spiritual level is extremely dangerous…

I don't know you, but I believe you. Hope you're okay.

I’m doing better than yesterday. Sun is out and it’s warm outside, cloudless, blue skies. Thanks for checking in.

I really do think an important component of activism is to make sure your motivation is based on a desire to help/improve things for the people being harmed by a system, and not hatred for the ones doing the harm. both for mental health reasons, and because either way you're training your neural pathways and it's gonna turn out a lot better for literally everyone if the question on everyone's mind after achieving a goal is "how/which people can we help next, what's the next step for improving things" and not "who do we need to attack next."

I'm not saying don't be angry, there are a lot of good reasons to be angry right now and it makes for an excellent kick in the pants, just don't define yourself by it or it's gonna poison you and potentially do collateral damage.

The fact that someone can go an entire friendship with you, deceiving you and manipulating you, the weight of that comes crushing down on you. It causes trust issues, makes you scared what else could they have done that you’re unaware of, gives you anxiety about future relationships and worst of all, it makes you realize they didn’t love you. They aren’t even hurt by hurting you. They don’t care how antagonistic they are they excuse it. “I wasn’t trying to hurt you, so therefore you aren’t hurt.” Just bc you’re not affected by certain kind of emotional abuse, doesn’t mean others aren’t.

“You’re too available, you’re too giving, too understanding and too trusting. Your good heart makes you a target for those who deceive, take, envy, gossip and lie.”

It’s not about limiting your kindness, it’s about having strict boundaries and setting them when needed and being loyal to your boundaries.

Toxic and abusive people will see you being loyal to your boundaries as disrespect to them, as being unkind to them. You’re not being unkind or insensitive, you’re loving yourself loudly and confidently as you should.

“In a world dictated by lies, manipulation, and abusers the truth can only be crucified.”

bad dog or scared dog?

does it even matter at this point?

you will always beat the dog

and blame your actions on his bite

and like a dog he will stay loyal to you