i guess there's no remedy, own worst enemy
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I live my life in a constant state of grief of what I did, what I didn’t do, and what I can never do.
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I don’t know how to handle being sad
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Hanif Abdurraqib, They Can't Kill Us Until They Kill Us
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i have to always be considerate of myself bc who else will
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you deserve someone who’s good for your mental health and who never stops trying
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Do you ever get the sense that no matter where you go or what you do...you are not welcome? You will constantly be *outside*. You'll always be clawing at the window of a warmly-lit house, watching everyone you love feast around a table full of sustenance while you're starving for a crumb. And when they see you, they give you this pitiful look. Half-guilt, half-disgust as they slowly close the blinds.
You will always be a monster.
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please stop being angry at yourself for not knowing or recognizing what was going on. for having let them hurt you in ways you didn't deserved, for having accepted less than you deserve. you weren't aware of what was going on, you didn't know what you know now. please forgive yourself, hug yourself and move on with love and compassion. you were just trying to be loved and appreciated, and so you accepted to be fine with whatever you could receive, even if it was less than you need and are worthy of. stop blaming yourself, it wasn't your fault if they couldn't give you that much.
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You are loved. You are loved. You are loved.❤️
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What I feel like I’m going to see in the mirror when I look into it
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Someone after ruining my night
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You can really tell how bad someone fucked up by my ability to mask my ptsd
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