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oharaslove · 1 day

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word count: almost 9k summary: Your everyday routine turns upside down when a couple of strange visitors land on your city. warnings:Miguelx!Spider Reader (kind of Latina), some cussing, mentions of death, injuries (let me know if there is something else!)

Chapter 1: 𝙇𝙞𝙠𝙚 𝙁𝙞𝙧𝙚 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙒𝙖𝙩𝙚𝙧

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Earth - 129

Readers POV

“Dear soulmate, Do you think of me? ‘Cause I do”

You wish you wouldn’t. You wish you could erase his memory out of your mind. He isn’t thinking of you and he never will.

“Dear Soulmate, I can’t wait to fall in love with you”

That is the problem, you already had. You saw him with other eyes as soon as you found out the truth. The minute you learned that fate had tied you two together, your heart gravitated towards his.

He possessed your heart in his hands, and he crushed it, leaving you in this situation.

You feel alone, empty, as if you will never be enough.

When you were young, your father always told you how meeting your soulmate was where all the pain went away. From then and on, life was always going up.

LIES

You’ve never felt so low, how can you get back up now? Who can help you get out of the hole you dug for yourself? Why did your parents have to be soulmates?

Miguel was right, soulmates are stupid, you are stupid for believing your father. If you could go back, you would change the past, to never meet him, or better, to never be born…

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X POV 28 years ago

It was a cold January night in New York. The snow falling beautifully on top of trees and cars. The streets decorated with colorful lights, making the droplets glister with different shades, making them seem like fairies.

Everything was happiness. The Christmas and new years glow lifting everyone’s spirits. New beginnings, new dreams and new hope all around.

But inside a fairy-tale, there is always a tale of woe. A fragment of the story is never told. Stories are usually filled with brightness and happiness, but life is never like that. Not even for two people meant for each other. A pair of souls tied by destiny. Fate is never fair.

Inside the icy white hospital walls, there was a tense atmosphere. A man, in his mid thirties, was pacing the almost empty hallways, muttering to himself. Nurses watched him with heartfelt eyes, feeling his despair, knowing, deep down, what was about to happen.

“I can’t lose her, I- I.. I-I can’t” was all he repeated. Over, and over, non stop, for what felt like an eternity. “Por favor, Dios, quien sea. Please, help them” (“Please, God, anyone”) he pleaded, looking at the ceiling, as if a deity would pity him, and gift him a miracle.

Cries of pain were heard from inside the surgical room, a space that seemed far away, but was just a couple of steps ahead. A place that called him, lured him to get in, but with no use, given that it was forbidden, and that he already tried to fight the nurses to let him stay.

His wife, the love of his life, his soulmate, laid in there, suffering.

It all had started smoothly. The check ups were fine, everything looked perfect to welcome their daughter to the world, but nothing prepared him for this moment.

Every minute that went by, every second, was pure torture. The walls felt like they were closing in, the floor about to disappear beneath his feet. His life, his everything was slipping out of his grasp.

The staff grew worried, they knew they couldn’t keep the man away for much longer. They were aware of the pain he was in, they could sense, feel it, tension palpable in the air. Chances were they had experienced and witnessed this exact situation a million times. The man’s health was deteriorating with every tick of the clock. His steps becoming shorter, pace slowing down, until he stopped.

The calm before the storm.

Numbness. Cold. Fear. All emotions are far from familiar to this man. He could feel her presence in the back of his head, but barely. The man sat on the floor, knees to his chest, head tucked in, rocking back and forth, trying to steady his breathing, praying. “No por favor, po-por favor” (“No please, pl-please”). Tears began streaming down his face, wetting his shirt and trousers.

And just like that, the pain was gone. Only emptiness. His soulmate had parted this Earth. He could no longer feel her existence. His mark was surely gone, a mark that was printed on his skin his whole life. A half heart, only complete with her, your mother.

Doctors came and went, apologizing, giving their condolences, explaining there was nothing to be done. The man tried to pay attention to them, but with no use, his mind else where.

But, he had to be strong, he had to keep going with only half a soul. He needed to prevail, since there was still a part of her with him, you. His beautiful daughter, half him, half your mother.

Your cries were heard from the other room. Your father dismissed the doctors and ran to tend to you. As soon as he reach the crib and saw you he swore on his life that he was going to take care of you, forever.

Your father immediately picked you up to calm you down. As he did so, he uncovered your right shoulder, where he noticed the mark. A strange shape, nothing seen before, from what he heard in stories and read in books or the internet. It couldn’t be a simple birthmark, it was yours and your soulmate’s.

A strange feeling formed inside of him. Obviously, happiness, for one part, as you had someone to call yours, but some sadness, and mostly worry. Your mark wasn’t as dark as everyone’s. It was even lighter than when someone is born before their soulmate, a much softer brown than his when he came to the world, as your mother was younger than him.

There was something wrong, but he couldn’t tell what. Not even the doctors or specialists in soulmates. All he could do was pray that his little girl could find the love of her life, like he did with your mother, all those years ago, and that you could live a happy life, a much longer one than your parents.

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Reader’s POV 5 years later

“Papiii…, can you tell me how you met momma again pleaseeee?” you said with a pout as your father tucked you in bed. Their love story was your favorite bedtime tale. “¿Otra vez?” (“Again?”). You nodded excitedly. The idea of soulmates was your favorite thing in the world, and knowing that your parents were, only fueled your dream of someday finding yours.

“Okay, here we go..”

Like every other night, he told you how he met your mother in high school. The day that they met, he felt his mark itch more than normal, like it was trying to tell him something, that she was near. Everyone experiences a different feeling or physical sign.

As soon as he saw her, he knew she was special. It wasn’t like with the other pretty girls, he felt pulled by her, he couldn’t move his eyes away.

As soon as they touched, their marks changed. Marks in your universe can change multiple times in a lifetime. When someone is born, it is a light brown if their soulmate isn’t born yet and a dark brown when their other half already roams Earth.

But, when two soulmates meet (and realize they are each other’s soulmate) the mark turns a reddish color, symbolizing true love. It stays on your skin until one of the pair dies, like it happened with your mother.

You’ll never forget the look on your father’s face when you asked why he didn’t have his. He looked at you with tears forming in his eyes, and that’s when he explained to you, for the first time, what had happened with your mother, and how important soulmates are.

Despite his loss, as it came with an unforgettable pain, he always reminded you that one’s half is the only person you should be with. Soulmates can only be born from other soulmates, and if someone chooses not to wait for their soulmate, the link breaks, leaving only emptiness and sorrow behind.

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Three months ago

“Y/n!!”

The sudden scream waked you up from your slumber. The shock made you lose balance, falling from the stool you were on and landing butt first on the floor.

“Aghh, shit” you groaned, rubbing your eyes, trying to regain consciousness and see what was in front of you.

“Oh my god, I am so so sorry” Peter, your best friend, apologized. “I just wanted to wake you up”.

“Yeah, well Pete,” you said cleaning the saliva off your arm, “maybe, next time, just maybe just shake me a little bit” you said, sarcastically.

Peter laughed, the sarcastic tone a clear indication that you weren’t harmed. “Noted” he stated, offering his hand for you to take.

You just swatted it away, lightly, and stood up on your own. This was no surprise for Peter, who didn’t make a fuss out of it. You weren’t a morning person at all, and he was aware of it. But you had your reasons.

“Someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning” he joked, trying to light up the mood, as he walked back to his lab station, that was perpendicular to the left of yours.

“I didn’t wake up at all Parker” you groaned, looking at the devices and papers spread over your table, trying to remember what you were doing before dozing off.

“You can’t keep doing this, you know?” he said, concern lacing his voice. Peter was aware of the life you had once the day was over. He believed it was dangerous, and even though he tried to be supportive, he really didn’t approve.

You sighed, resting the palms of your hands on the marble surface in front of you. “With great power-”

“Comes great responsibility. Yeah yeah, I know. You always say the same” he said, while he turned his body towards you, resting his back on his table. “But, the fact that you have this powers doesn’t mean that you have to compromise your health every single night” he lectured, punctuating the last words with his hands.

The course this conversation was taking was not strange to you. Peter always tried to coaxed you out of being Spider-woman, every chance he gets.

You didn’t fight back, as you normally would. You just kept looking at the floor, exhaustion taking over, a yawn forming in your mouth.

“Hey” Peter whispered. You slowly lift up your eyes to match his. He stared at you for a little, supposedly trying to decipher what was going on behind your eyes. He walked up to you in slow, quiet steps, as if he made a wrong move, you would break, like glass.

He stopped a couple inches away from you, giving you enough space. “I know that you feel like everything that happens in this city is your job to fix.” He started in a calm, soothing voice. “I get that after your dad passed and he said those words, you fight day and night to make this hell a better place, but it has taken a toll on you. You need to rest”

The mention of your father brought tears to your eyes, or maybe it was the frustration, or both. You lost him not long after becoming Spider-woman. You never got to tell him, but in some way, you think he knew. After all, he was the person who knew you best.

Every day, you try to imagine whether your father would be proud of you or disappointed on how you are handling your life. Oh, how you wish he was here, to hug him one last time, to run into his arms and feel safe. However, you knew he was in a much better place, reunited with your mother after all those years.

As you didn’t answer, Peter continued, “I know it is hard, but I am here, MJ too. She doesn’t know, I promise I didn’t tell her, but that doesn’t matter” he rested a hand on your left shoulder, trying to give you support. “Just tell us that you need help, and we will gladly provide it”.

That brought a smile to your face, mirroring his, despite the tears spilling from your years. You laughed, easing the tension of your chest and shoulders, and hugged Peter. You knew you had amazing friends, the issue was that, sometimes, you felt out of place. And, there were numerous reasons why you felt like that.

One, you are not completely human. You are Spider-woman, spider DNA resides in your cells. Two, and arguably the most important, you haven’t find your soulmate yet. A constant reminder that you are in fact, alone.

Every time you are out, whether when you are swinging across the city or walking on the street, all you see is couples having dates, holding hands, whatever. The important thing is there were always two people simply enjoying each others company. Apparently, you were the only one who couldn’t find their other half.

Another worry to fill your mind, as if being a superhero wasn’t enough.

“What you are saying is,” you said after calming down and pulling away from Peter’s embrace. “is that, if I ask you to put on the mask for one night, you are going to do it” you finish half smiling, trying not to erupt in laughter.

Peter snorted, a smile forming on his lips. “There is no way in hell I would do that, not even for a million dollars” he laughed. “There is only room for one crazy person in this friend group, and that is you” he said, punching your arm affectionately, before walking back to his station. He knew that if you were joking, that meant that you were okay.

“Never say never Pete!” you quipped, wiping the remaining tears from your eyes and cheeks. “One day maybe, after finishing all this research, I’ll find a parallel universe where you have the powers”.

At that, Peter double down laughing, clutching his stomach from how hard he was chuckling. “Yeah sure” he said between giggles, cleaning his happy tears out of his eyes with the back of his hand. “Maybe you could find your soulmate too”.

“Oh fuck off” you exclaimed. “I thought we were having a wholesome moment over her” you laughed.

You both giggled for a good couple of minutes, still bickering at each other, throwing shade back and forth. The break from work helping you both distress, the weight on your shoulders decreasing.

After calming yourself, both of you went back to working on your respective projects and theories. Peter was fixing some technology and improving your web-shooters, something you had been complaining about for weeks.

You, on the other hand, were trying to come up with a device capable of breaking the fourth dimension. Something that could allow you to travel to other dimensions. This being your ultimate goal.

You had been theorizing about inter dimensional travel since the last year of college. You wrote your thesis about it, claiming that it was possible given the technology human race had available at your time.

The difficult part was gaining the energy necessary to make the jump, or open a portal. You wished you could do it, prove to all the people who called you crazy that it was in fact possible. You were going to be the first woman to jump between dimensions, or at least you hoped. If you were trying to do this, did that mean there was someone who also thought about it in other Earth?

Those kind of questions always pop up on your mind, distracting you from work. It for sure was a possibility. If there are others out there, you can’t be the only one trying to find them. As with aliens, you can’t be alone in this bast space. You shook your head, trying to focus on your papers in front of you, aiming to push those thoughts to the back of your brain.

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Hours went by. You would think that you had done a lot of work, but no. Your brain wasn’t cooperating. You still couldn’t find a way to make the devices stable with the amount of energy they were consuming. You have never tried to use them, but theoretically, the portals wouldn’t form evenly, making the jump extremely dangerous. You weren’t taking any chances.

Besides, sleep was still trying to creep on you and now, to top it off, you were hungry. Your stomach had been complaining for like an hour now, but you were too lazy to stop and look for food.

Your stomach growled, making you lose the last bit of concentration you had. You groaned out of frustration and flopped on top of your table, not caring about the technology or papers scattered on it.

You heard Peter laugh behind you, which made you grunt in annoyance. How can he always be so happy?

As in on cue, you heard the sliding doors open, followed by the clicking sounds of heels on the floor. You heard rustling beside you, probably Peter trying to cover your spider things so MJ would not see them.

“Hey guys!” MJ greeted, always with that angelic and cheery voice. “I brought lunch”. Oh thank god, you thought, she really was an angel. Reason number one of why Peter is happy every single damn day.

“Thank you babe” you heard Peter say, followed by a kissing sound, making you gagged internally. Too much cheesiness. The dream of accomplishing the same thing with your soulmate since you were a kid slowly banishing. Every reminder of love making you sick to your stomach.

“What is wrong with y/n” MJ asked, concern present in her voice.

Upon not hearing an immediate answer from Peter, you lifted your head up from the table and looked over at them. They were clearly communicating, but without uttering a word. Their shared looks was all it took.

Maybe it was the sleep deprivation, the hunger or the fact that you were pathetic from not founding your soulmate which made the feeling of anger and frustration inside of you come to light. Anger and frustration that were only directed to yourself, but that somehow, escaped you, even surprising you.

“Hey!” you snapped without thinking. “I’m right here, you know? Can you two quit doing that?” Your face becoming redder and redder as seconds went by.

The couple glanced at each other. “Doing what exactly?” MJ asked furrowing her eyebrows, and playing with her hair.

“That!” you shouted, as if the answer was clear as water, pointing at them with your hand, moving it from one to another. “You are using your soulmate telepathy or whatever” you finished, throwing your hands in the air and turning your back to them.

Peter snorted, clearly not sensing the tension in the atmosphere. “You do know we can’t read each other’s mind, right? Soulmate can only sense emotions. That’s not how-”

“No Peter!” you roared, turning back around at light speed. Your tone and actions making Peter and MJ take a step back from fear. “I don’t know how it works, or what it is, or how it feels” you continued, while pacing from left to right, using your arms to exaggerate your words. “I don’t know if you haven’t notice yet, but I DON’T HAVE SOULMATE YET” you finished, aiming those last words directly at him, looking at Peter right in the eye.

As soon as you finished that sentence, you spun around again. You pressed the palms of your hands strongly against the table, not paying attention to the things on it. If you broke something, it didn’t matter. Nothing worked anyway.

Your chest was heaving up and down, your breath quick and short. It was getting hard to see, spots feeling your vision every time you opened your eyes. You tried to calm yourself down. The annoyance you were feeling was strange, you had never felt like this. Sure, you had your bad days, but most of the time, the negative emotions were directed to yourself! And you knew how to control them.

It wasn’t Pete’s or MJ’s fault that your soulmate wasn’t here, that you hadn’t found him yet. They were just trying to help. For God’s sake, MJ even brought you lunch! Tears began spilling out of your eyes out of frustration. The emotions too strong to let them in, and crying was the only way you knew how to get them out, without shouting at them again.

You started shacking, not being able to stop it. Sobs spilling out of your mouth. You ran your hand though your hair before covering your face, trying to stop the tears and sounds coming out, but not succeeding.

You slumped over your desk, hoping to be swallowed by the floor. You were so ashamed of shouting at Peter and MJ, they would probably walk away, you would. Is this why you haven’t find your soulmate yet? Because you are not ready? You are emotionally immature? Probably you are overreacting, but still.

Between your sniffs, you heard shuffling behind you. Steps growing louder, until you felt a gentle hand on your right shoulder. The smell of roses and vainilla signaling it was MJ.

Raising your head up and looking to the right, you were met with a blurred image of a red mass and blue eyes staring at you. MJ wiped your tears away from your eyes with her thumb, always so gentle. The gesture making a sob come out of your throat.

You could see on MJ’s face that she was worried, and she didn’t know how to make you feel better. After looking at your face for a little longer, she glanced at your station, making you do the same. Papers were scattered all over, no organization whatsoever. For many, it would be chaos, but you knew your way around it. After all, the state of your lab table was a clear indication of how your life was going.

“What are you working on?” MJ asked calmly, snapping you out of your thoughts. You looked back at her, contemplating whether she was really interested on what you had to say, or she was merely trying to get you out of your head. You shook your head. The reason wasn’t important, what mattered was the fact she was helping you.

“Umm, I am just trying to prove some theories, nothing important, really” you shrugged. You used your sweater sleeve to dry off your cheeks and nose, before showing her the different devices.

“This is supposed to teleport you.” you explained, grabbing the bracelet in front of you. “And this, is supposed to create a portal to another dimension” you said, pointing at the first piece of technology on the table.

MJ watched you with a smile on her face. Not that you were paying much attention to her, talking about science always made you wonder to other worlds, forgetting about all your worries and sorrows.

“Have you tried any?” Peter questioned, joining the conversation. He walked towards you like he was stepping on eggshells, aiming to keep you calm, for the second time that day. He stopped right at your left, between you and his station, just as a few hours prior.

“You know I haven’t Pete” you giggled. “Stop being so tense Peter, I’m not going to bite you”.

The three of you laughed, and you visible could tell how the weight was lifted from Peter’s shoulders.

“I am so sorry for snapping at you both” you said, looking between them. “I know it isn’t your fault. I guess I was just a little jealous” you admitted.

“It is okay” MJ replied, putting her hand on your arm and giving it a squeeze. “Just, let us know how you feel before your emotions explode right in our faces, alright?”

You laughed and nodded at her, focusing your attention on the bracelet on your hands.

“I wish I could try them, you know?,” you continued elaborating what Peter had asked “but I guess it is still too dangerous. I don’t know how unstable this things are”.

You examined the device a while longer. After being satisfied with the fact that everything looked normal and just as how you had planned it, and not longer being able to extract information by just looking at it, you went to set it down on the table.

As if the universe was listening, as soon as the lateral of the bracelet hit the surface, a surge of energy emerged from it, aimed at the roof.

The sudden blow knocked you off your seat, falling to the ground on your butt, for the second time that day. MJ and Peter crumbled to the floor, protecting their heads.

You quickly sat up, checking for injuries on both of your friends. After visually checking they were unscratched, you watched the energy beam. You couldn’t take your eyes off it.

It was a mixture between red, orange and blue, illuminating the room in a beautiful warm light. On the ceiling, the matter was creating a spiral, turning and growing bigger by the second.

The ray coming out of the bracelet was unstable. It shone brighter for seconds and then it slowed down, making the semi-portal grow and close, consuming and dropping matter everywhere. Things were floating towards the portal, but then dropping down when the surge became smaller. You felt pulled by it, your scientific mind wanting to see what was on the other side.

You were stuck in place, sitting on the floor, mouth agape, watching all the changes the portal was creating on the lab. The trance you were in was so strong that you almost didn’t register your spidey senses going off.

“TAKE COVER!!” you screamed, before grabbing MJ’s hand and pulling her towards you, to put her beneath Peter’s lab station, following Peter.

As soon as you got MJ below the desk, the bracelet exploded, breaking the surge.

The semi-portal took all the remaining energy, and stopped moving.

Just as you thought it was all over, the spiral shrunk and then expanded, creating a blinding light and an electromagnetic wave. Pieces of the ceiling fell, the lights cut off, the emergency lights turn on, at the same time the fire alarm did.

Five minutes went by, no one dared to move. Being Spider-woman, you decided to be the brave one and taste the waters, besides, it was kind of your fault this all happened. You crawled out under the table, and looked around the lab.

Everything looked normal, if you rule out the big hole on the ceiling were the portal was forming. After inspecting everything in case of danger, you signal Peter and MJ to get out.

“Are you guys okay?” you asked concerned “Yeah, yeah, we are fine” Peter answered cleaning the dust on his knees. “What the hell happened?” MJ questioned a little shaken up. “I don’t really know. I recognize the devices were unstable, but they weren’t suppose to work. At least theoretically” you elaborated. “Unless-”.

Before you could end your explanation, your Spidey senses went off again. You scanned the lab alarmed with your eyes, trying not to make sudden moves to not scare MJ even further. Peter could see that you knew there was something wrong, he had seen that look in your face a million times. He knew your Spidey senses were attempting to tell you something.

“Why don’t you go and look at the light panel y/n?” Peter said, aiming to call your attention and making you look at him, which you did.

He was staring at you, telling you to go and save the day, like you always do.

“The light panel, right. Yeah, I’ll do that.” you declared, giving Peter and understanding and thanking look. “Stay safe, the fire department should be here in shortly.”

“Will do, now go!” Peter urged you.

And with that, you grabbed your bag and ran out the door. Thank god you always carried your suit with you. You made a quick pit stop in the bathroom to change and, five minutes later, you were off in the streets, trying to guess what your spidey senses were warning you about.

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Earth - 928B

Miguel’s POV Same time as reader’s pov

Miguel had been in front of the screens in his office for what felt like days, which probably were.

After all the chaos had Spot caused and the mistakes he made with Miles, he didn’t dare rest, in case the multiverse collapsed, when he wasn’t on watch. Besides, he was giving himself a really hard time. He couldn’t believe that the theory of canon events was wrong, it shouldn’t have been, it made total sense.

But, given that Miles father was still alive, and the police captain, nonetheless, that meant he was mistaken.

Not only his job became ten times more difficult because of the instability of the multiverse caused by the Spot, but also, he needed to find answers. He craved to know why Gabriella’s universe shattered. If it wasn’t because he wasn’t supposed to be there, what caused it? Can it be fixed? Can he see his little girl again?

On top of it all, there was a new group of villains roaming the various dimensions. He had sent different squads of spiders, hoping one of them could trap them, to then be sent to their respective universes. But they all failed, and not by a little.

There was little to no information about the individuals forming the evil organization. The only warning someone could get before being sent off being “Warning: Extremely Dangerous. Do not, under any circumstance, hold back”.

Every spider sent on the quest came back severely injured or passed out. The ones injured were far too traumatized to speak. The lines of the Spider psychologist growing as the weeks went by. Miguel had to even consider hiring a new one, even taking into consideration a normal human.

The atmosphere at the Society wasn’t ideal. Many spiders losing respect for Miguel over the whole Miles ordeal, even if he had apologize to him a thousand times. Tension was escalating, and Miguel was between the sword and the wall.

He needed people to trust him, because he needed to catch these bad guys, but he couldn’t do it alone. The whole stability of the different universes was in play. And yes, he is aware he had use that argument before, and that he was wrong, but there is proof now.

Miguel had tasked Lyla on monitoring the universes where this group had been last. During their stay, all the living creatures of the surface started to slowly die. Technology was unusable, and people were growing mad.

This case was the top priority, but there were still other variants outside of their respective universes that had to be taken care of. Unwillingly, he had to give control to Jessica Drew. She was now the leader of the “easier” missions to retrieve anomalies. Furthermore, much to his dismay, Peter B was in charge when Jess had to take care of his son, as long as he didn’t bring Mayday along.

The sleep deprivation wasn’t helping, at all. He was more irritable, he could barely focus, and to top it all off, his left side started itching. He should probably check it out, but it was probably nothing. Jess would probably tell him to go to the infirmary and rest, but he couldn’t, not now.

Talking about the devil…

“Hey Miguel.” Jess announced herself. “Any new lead?”

“Ugh not yet.” he hissed, trying to find the spot where the itching originated.

“Are you okay? Why are you scratching yourself so much.”

“It’s nothing Jess, you back to work.”

“There is no work Miguel. I’m just that good.”

“Then go do whatever, I’ll rather be alone.” he growled, visibly uncomfortable.

Jess rolled her eyes, that response being an usual thing she heard this days. “Why don’t you get Lyla to check you up? Maybe it is an allergy.” Jess pressed, not accepting a no for an answer.

“No es nada, mierda.” [(It is nothing, dammit) kinda, ahha) ] Miguel replied, scratching his side even more. “I don’t need a check up.”

“Too late!” Lyla chirped, appearing from thin air, making Miguel roll his eyes and groan.

“There is nothing out of the ordinary.” the AI informed “Apparently, the itching comes from the mark on you abdomen Miguel.”

“Mark? Like, what, a past scar? Those itch all the time.” Jess questioned confused.

Miguel hurried to answer before Lyla could open her mouth. “It’s noth-”

Late again. “Oh, the soulmate mark? You weren’t aware of that? Weiird” Lyla stated in a sarcastic tone, eyeing up Miguel to see his reaction.

“Lylaa” he snarled, trying to grab the AI, but she teleported near Jess’ shoulder.

“What? I am just providing information to our dear friend Jessica” the AI expressed shrugging, as if the information she has just divulged wasn’t a secret Miguel had been hiding for years.

“A Soulmate huh? You’ve never mentioned that” Jess wondered

“I’m not in the mood to talk about it Jess” he said, turning his body towards the screens, trying to hide. The itching was becoming unbearable. His talons threatening to come out.

“You are never in the mood. Why have you never mentioned it?” Jess continued questioning, abusing the fact that Miguel wasn’t going to yell at her.

Miguel slumped his shoulders and head forward, his chin touching his chest, his hands on his hips. He took deep breathes, trying to prepare himself for the inevitable conversation that was about to happen.

“This Earth like many others,” he began, lifting his head. “once had a lot of soulmates roaming the surface”.

Miguel turned to Jess, checking if she was following. Once she nodded, he continued.

“After a while, people stopped looking for them. Many didn’t believe there were meant to be, others weren’t patient enough.” he sighed, remembering his mother and his biological father. “My mother married George O’Hara, a man who wasn’t her soulmate. But still, whatever wicked entity who is in charge of all of this, brought her to her soulmate, and I am the outcome of that.” he finished, anger evident in his voice.

“So.. what?” Jess asked. “Soulmate disappeared as a punishment for not wanting for them?”

“No” Miguel answered pinching his nose, already done with the conversation, at least it was distracting him from the pain on his side. “From what I gathered from Lyla’s investigation, only soulmates can birth soulmates, thus, the numbered decreased because people had children with others who weren’t their ‘half’.” The last bit said between air quotes, as he shared the sentiment of all those people. There wasn’t a person who could be his other half. The universe wouldn’t gift him a nice one. One that he could love and could love him back.

“And that’s it?” Jess said. “Your excuse for being secluded in your office all day and being lonely is waiting for your soulmate?. You ain’t gonna find her if you keep burying yourself with work.”

“Quite the opposite actually” he mumbled, the end of the conversation not coming fast enough.

“You don’t want to find her?” she replied surprised. “I get why you don’t want anything with this..”

Jess words blurred in the background, all he could hear was his heart pounding in his chest.

“… you are condemning the girl to the same thing.”

His chest was rising up and down, the air around him becoming too hot. Each breath too hard to pass. Miguel rested his hands on the table, slumping his body forward, aiming to calm himself down.

“What if she wants to find you? What if she is waiting for you?”

He stopped registering what Jess was saying, all his brain could focus on was the itch in his abdomen. The mark hot to the touch despite the barrier of his suit. Closing his eyes, he tried to regain control of his body, but it wasn’t cooperating.

“And, what if-”

“Enough!” Miguel roared, halting Jess from talking, her mouth wide open. He turned around, eyes as red as his suit. Chest heaving, nostrils blown.

“I don’t care how she feels, and neither should you.” he declared firmly, aiming to get his point across. “I am Spider-man, my duty is to the multiverse. I don’t have time to waste on trivial things as love, as finding the ‘the one’. I can’t, and I won’t.”

“And if she finds you?” Jess pressed, not caring about the consequences.

“I said enough! Ya basta por favor” he snarled, turning his head towards the screens. (stop it please).

Silence consumed the room. The only noise being Miguel’s heavy breathing.

Miguel could feel Jess’ deathly stare on the side of his face, but he was done talking. All her questioning was useless, there was no way his soulmate could appear out of thin air. Besides, again thanks to Lyla’s research, he knew his mark wasn’t normal. The shape was strange, the color was wrong. He was aware that the marks disappear once one of the souls left this Earth, but he still had his, meaning his soulmate was somewhere still.

The weird thing was that it seemed dormant, as if his soulmate was in other reality. Funny huh?, how he said he doesn’t think about it, but he had Lyla do research and how he has theories about them.

Despite everything and his brain’s attempt to bury the thought, his heart still yearns for love, for being taken care of. His emotional side urging him to get out of his office, go on patrols hoping, praying, to find the one person destined to him. His rational side, for the other part, shouting at him to have some sense.

His soulmate for sure was a normal citizen, someone else to protect. Another person to lose. One more person whose blood would be on his hands. He couldn’t bear it, his hands were red enough as it is.

The calm atmosphere was interrupted with the flash of the multiple screens in front of him.

“Lyla, what is this?” Miguel asked

“The evil group has being spotted entering Earth-129.” Lyla answered, looking at her tablet.

“What do we know about this universe?” Jess said.

“Not much. But there is a Spider-woman in it” Lyla answered adjusting her glasses. “If you want to catch them, this is a good chance. There is no time to call a squad. It has to be you two”.

Miguel looked at Jess. Despite the anger he felt towards her at that moment, she was his friend and his most trusted teammate.

“Stop looking at me like that” Jess said rolling her eyes. “I am not going to let you hanging. Let’s go!”

Lyla clicked some buttons on her holographic tablet and opened a portal to said dimension.

Before crossing the threshold, Jess turned to Miguel with a grin and joked “You know, if we both get injured or die, Peter B stays in charge of everything”.

Miguel groaned, not having thought of that. “Another reason to leave this mission unscratched” he said under his breath, swearing to himself to come back, no matter how hard.

They both pulled their masks over their face and disappeared into the portal.

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Earth-129

As Miguel emerged from the portal he had to squint his eyes. The brightness of the sun burning his eyes, not used to the light, given his office was always dark, and a consequence to the spider DNA.

He scanned the city looking for the bad guys. This universe, New York at least, was similar to his. A little less technological, but almost a copy.

It didn’t take him long to localize the villains. The chaos they were creating clear as day and really loud. The citizens of New York screaming at the top of their lungs and running away.

Before Jess and him could jump into action, a sky-blue figure flew right past him, or in retrospective, swung. The spider-woman of Earth-129 had a blue, grey and black suit, with a belt around her waist.

As she fought against the biggest guy, Miguel could see that she was experienced. She moved like she had been doing this her whole life, dodging punches, kicks and electromagnetic fields like they were nothing.

“We should help her” Jess said.

Miguel nodded, and they both jumped into action.

Reader’s POV

The minute you started swinging across the city after leaving the lab, you saw what your spidey senses were warning you about. Three individuals, each one different from the rest, were causing a havoc in the city center.

The first one, and the biggest one, was basically a mountain of dirt. He looked like a toddler had built him with clay and put rubies for eyes. He was at least 3 meters tall, from what you could see from afar. He also had some weird red rays surrounding his body, which attracted different materials. Probably an electromagnetic kind of thing.

The second one, who looked like the one in charge, was a regular human, or that was what it looked like. The only extraordinary thing was that he had a weird helmet on his head, but apart from that, normal.

The last one, you couldn’t decipher what it was, partly because it looked like he was constantly changing its appearance. From a tall man, to a woman, to whatever human shape you can imagine. It grossed you out a little, because it sometimes had two faces at the same time.

There was no time to think, you needed to protect your city.

You swung as fast as you could to reach the center. As you were passing a tall building, from the corner of your eye, you saw two people on the rooftop. It was probably the adrenaline and the lack of sleep, but you could swore they had suits on, and they looked like yours! Different colors of course.

You were approaching the scene as fast as you could, trying to come up with a plan. Clearly, the safest option, was to attack the human guy, let’s call it number two. The downside of it being that, if he was the leader, he was probably powerful, but it is the best option.

Before you could change your mind, you jump towards number two and kick him straight to the face, making him stumble back and fall to the floor.

The action caused the other two to lock their eyes on you. Oh, you were so fucked. You had fought bad guys before, in big groups even, but you could sense these were different.

Number 1, the big ugly guy, leaped forward, trying to strike you, but you jumped out of the way before he could even touch you, landing close to guy number three.

He was still changing his appearance, but once you landed in front of him and he locked eyes with you, he transformed into your dad. You stumbled back, shock, making you lose focus.

“What, dad? How- how do you know him?” you said dumbfounded. The quick distraction was enough to make you miss your spidey senses and receive an electromagnetic surge from guy number 1 from the right.

You flew back ten meters, crashing against a parked car. You groaned in pain. Your ears were ringing from the crash. You opened your eyes, seeing a blurred brown figure fast approaching, your senses begging you to move out of the way.

Your limbs weren’t answering, you were doomed.

Just as you were accepting your fate, a red and blue figure crashed against the other one, moving it out of the way.

“Hey” you heard from your left. You tilted your head upwards, trying to locate the source of the sound.

“We are here to help, come on” she offered your hand to take. You did, slowly, trying not to cause more pain.

You double down, hand on your knees trying to regain your breath. Whatever that guy hit you with, it was strong.

“I am going to help him, stay here until you feel okay” the woman said. When she saw you nod, she swung into action, kicking guy number 3.

The tall guy, the one that saved you, was still fighting with ugly guy number 1. The leader was no where on sight. You would have to be alert.

Both the woman and the man looked like Spider-guys to you, they had similar suit to yours. That’s weird, you thought you were the only one. You had never encountered them in your patrols. Why now?

Once you recovered your breath, you decided to join the fight. And just on time, because you saw the leader trying to sneak attack Spider-man.

You jumped right in front of him, before he could strike the man. Both of you entangled into a fist fight, none of you succeeding on hitting the other. Obviously, you had your spidey senses on your favor, so you could predict were the blow was coming from, but the leader was reading all your moves, as if he knew what you were going to do next.

Other thing that surprised you was that he wasn’t getting tired. Scratch the fact that he was a normal dude, he clearly had something.

”Surprised Spider-woman?” you heard inside your head, which made you stop in your tracks, giving him the opportunity to punch you straight in the face, making you fall to the floor.

”Where is it?” he continued, speaking in your head. Where is what?? What is this guy talking about?

”Where are you hiding it?” he stood above you, each leg on one side of your body, trapping you in. ”Well, are you gonna tell me? Or am I going to have to take it from you? I warn you, it is a painful process”

You could barely register what he was saying. What does he want? What is IT? Nonetheless, it didn’t matter. Whatever he was looking for, it couldn’t be good, and you didn’t want him to take it from you.

In a swift move, you punch his crotch, which made him stumbled back, liberating you from him. You stood up quickly, trying to continue the fight.

“How are you? What do you want?” you questioned, fists ready to punch. A few meters away, you could hear the rest of the fight.

”We are Cataclysm, and we will prevail”. he answered. ”We will catch you little spider, when you are alone.”

And just like that, the ground opened up and swallowed him. You stood there, confused, staring at the floor for a sign of where he had went.

The noise behind you had stopped as well. You turned around, looking for the other two bad guys and the two spider-people, but the first ones were already gone, probably alerted by their leader.

The spider-people, on the other hand, were talking a few meters away from you. You couldn’t hear them. As you were about to go up to them and introduce yourself, they shot a web to the nearest sky-crapper.

“Hey! Wait up!” you said, and shot a web yourself, trying to follow them.

You landed on the rooftop, and the other two weren’t there. Fuck! You missed them. Just as you were about to jump off and keep looking around, you felt a sting.

‘Ugh fuck!’ you exclaimed, clutching your right shoulder. Something might had hit you, which was weird, because it wasn’t there a minute ago. Maybe it was the adrenaline wearing down.

All of a sudden, you heard a thud behind you. Two heavy landings.

You turned around, fist up, ready for a fight, in case they weren’t friendly, even though your spidey senses were silent.

‘Easy girl’ the woman said. “It’s just us. My name is Jess, this is Miguel.”

The tall guy, Miguel, was just looking at you, or you presumed, given the fact that all of you were still wearing your masks. He was crossing his arms, as if he didn’t want to be there. You had to admit, he looked hot.

“What are you doing here?” you asked defensively. “I thought I was the only one. And what the hell was that?” you said, pointing in the general direction of where the fight took place.

“First, those were a group of villains that we are chasing. They have been on the loose for a couple of weeks now”.

“The Cataclysm.” you replied.

“The what?” Jess questioned.

“The Cataclysm. That’s what they are called.”

“How do you know that?” Miguel asked. Wow, he had a really nice voice.

“Their leader, or well, what I presume is their leader told me” you answered, shrugging your shoulders.

“I was watching you while I was fighting, he never talked” Miguel continued.

“Not out loud, he has telepathy or something.” you said. Funnily enough, you accused your friends of using it just an hour back. You laughed to yourself remembering.

“Why are you laughing? This is serious” Miguel groaned.

“Jeez, sorry man” you said lifting your arms, the palm of your hands facing them. “I get that it is serious, I guess you wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t. Which leads me back to my first question. Who are you? And why haven’t I seen you before?” you questioned crossing your arms.

Jess and Miguel shared some looks, and then she answered.

“We are just like you, we are Spider-people.”

“I get that. But I thought I was the only one.” you said.

“You are the only one,” Jess reassured “in this universe, at least, as far as we know.”

“In this universe?” you repeated slowly, uncrossing your arms, letting them fall at your sides. this universe?? Alarms were going off inside your head, you opened your eyes and mouth, not believing what you just heard.

“Sorry, this universe?” you questioned. “As in, there are more universes?”

Jess simply nod, sensing that you only needed that.

“Oh my god. You are joking, you are fucking joking” you screamed excitedly, jumping in place. Your theory was right, you were right all along!!. You couldn’t wait to tell Peter

“That means that there are others like me, you are like me, how many are you? Are you from the same universe? Are you like a team?” you rambled. You were shaking with excitement.

You were pacing back and forth, trying to grasp the idea of there being multiple realities. From the corner of your eye you could see Miguel and Jess eyeing each other. You saw Jess nod with her head towards you, as silently asking Miguel something. With your happiness, you couldn’t decipher what.

Wait, why are they still here? Do they want you on their team? I mean, they never told you they were a team, but it seemed obvious. You stopped dead on your tracks and faced them. You watched them have a silent argument before Miguel rolled his head to the side in defeat, crossing his arms.

Jess took off her mask, which made you do the same, but Miguel kept his on.

“What was your name again?” Jess asked walking towards you.

“Oh right, sorry” you apologized, silly you, with all the flash news you forgot to introduce yourself. “I’m y/n” you said taking a step forward and offering your hand. Jess took it and shook it.

“Answering your questions, no, we are not from the same dimension, and yes we are a team, and we want you to be part of it.”

“You want to” Miguel mumbled, low enough to escape any normal human, but your ears caught it.

You both locked eyes, or you presumed. The more you stared at him, the stronger the burning of your right shoulder got. At the same time, Miguel started scratching his left side, as if something was bothering him.

You had to break eye contact because the pain was becoming unbearable.

“Ugh, damn” you exclaimed, clutching your shoulder and moving it, trying to ease the pain.

“Are you okay?” Jess asked.

“Yeah, I think I just got hit with something during the fight, when I crashed into the car. It’s probably nothing”

“Let’s get you checked up at HQ” Jess proposed

“Jess…” Miguel started, but was cut off by Jess looking at him with a death stare.

You switched your eyes between them, feeling how the tension was raising. You could feel the anger and frustration inside of you, as if you were the one fighting silently.

In the end, Miguel groaned, shaking his head and pinching his nose.

Jess smiled brightly at you, signalling that she had won that fight, and you could join them.

“Let’s go” she said, and opened a portal with her watch, kind of similar to the ones you were experimenting on. You were definitely asking about them later.

Jess crossed first, leaving you alone with Miguel, who had his back turned to you. You eyed him up and down before taking and deep breath and crossing the threshold of the portal, taking you to a new adventure.

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OKAY!! Here we gooo!!

So sorry for the wait, I hope you like this chapter!!

I feel like the action scene is sooo dull, but well, it is my first time writing something like it. I'll get the hang of it. Besides, it served its purpose.

The tension has began.

Please tell me what you think of it!!

Tags: @oscarissac2099 @amberbalcom14 @glaciertea @cupcakeinat0r @greensagephase @pigeonmama @resident-clown

#oharaslove #miguel ohara fluff #miguel x you #miguel spiderverse #miguel x reader #miguel spiderman #miguel o'hara #spiderman 2099 x you #spiderman 2099 x reader #spiderman 2099 #soulmate au #soulmates #atsv miguel #miguel 2099 #miguel ohara #miguel o hara #soulmate miguel o'hara #miguel o'hara soulmates #Spotify

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captainschaos · 1 year

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Having watched every pov of limited life I gotta say. I don't even care if jimmy dies first this time I think they might all permadie within 15 minutes of each other

#captain's chatter #limited life smp #I'm so mentally ill about this series ASDLFJBASDF #never have I watched every pov before. help #I think not having the bdubs pov (my usual quartet is etho/cleo/tango/bdubs) made me snap completely #will I keep this up? idk. maybe. it'll be at least 7-8 povs tho #this is like a nothing post I just wanted to yell into the void #also ig I'll take this opportunity to say if anyone's curious I do think I'll be doing weekly writings if I can spin it !!#I've got some Thoughts >:]]]#so yeah anyone that followed me for writing during dl you'll get more words <3 #may or may not be with the same folks tho

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marvelouslizzie · 9 months

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Same Lonely Night

summary: Your roommate Bucky Barnes hears you pleasure yourself and moan something he never thought he would be into. That forces him to face his feelings for you.

pairing: Bucky Barnes x Female Reader

word count: 2.6K

warnings: 18+, masturbation, fantasies, daddy kink, no mention of y/n

A/N: This is the second part of A Lonely Night. This time we are seeing Bucky's POV and what comes next. You don't have to read that part to understand what's going on but if you want to, you can find it on my blog/masterlist. I planned this as a 3-part story and I hope I'll maintain my inspiration and motivation to write the last part. Wish me luck!

Thank you so much @notafunkiller for beta-reading and editing. You are the best!

All work is mine, please do not repost or translate without my permission.

Read more tag starts after the second paragraph of the story.

Bucky’s head is resting on the shower wall while the water is running down. His flesh hand is still wrapped around his cock, but he doesn’t move it. Taking a couple of deep breaths, he’s trying to calm himself down.

He really had no intention to listen to you. He was just watching the news mindlessly, but his enhanced hearing turned into a curse the moment he heard you taking a sharp breath. He couldn’t help but focus on the noises you made. That’s when he started to hear the way you were touching yourself. Every stroke, every rub, every muffled moan…

He knew what you were doing was private and he had no right listening to it, but he couldn’t stop. He just couldn’t. How could he? You were so needy and subby. Even in your fantasy, you were begging. He wondered what you were imagining. Who were you begging? Your crush? Maybe you have been seeing someone.

That thought had never occurred to him before. You were always in your element, working, chilling at home, doing whatever you enjoyed in your spare time, and occasionally going out with your friends. You never brought someone home. Not yet at least. So he never questioned if you were seeing someone or not. Even if there was someone, he wouldn’t know, and that thought suddenly hurts him.

“Oh fuck, oh fuck.” Your moans bring him back to reality. If you are seeing someone why are you so needy? Are you just that greedy or has it been that long? He’s certainly hoping for the latter. That’s something he can relate to, and it's probably been much longer for him. That’s why he can’t stop listening. That’s why his cock is painfully hard. Normally he would just remove himself from the house, and give you some space instead of creeping like this.

“Oh please, fuck me.” He would do anything to be able to do that. Anything. Just to be in that room with you, taking his time exploring your body and satisfying your needs. Even just the thought of it drives him crazy. “Fuck me, daddy, please.”

That surprises him on so many levels. He never thought you would be into that. You look pretty innocent. He wouldn’t assume you would have such dirty fantasies. Fucking an old man… Are you into older men or is it just a little fantasy you are playing? Maybe you are seeing someone old. Maybe that’s why your mind goes there. He doesn’t know. He has no idea what’s going on in your private life, and every word that comes out of your mouth confuses him even more. It creates more problems, but the biggest one is, when he heard daddy, his dick twitched with excitement. So it makes him question himself, too. Is he into younger women or is it because you were the one saying it? The latter somehow seems more likely. Yet all of that doesn’t change the fact that he’s listening to you and getting hard just because of it.

“Yes, yes, yes. Right there.” He hears how your head falls onto the pillow while your whole body is shaking, and how much you are enjoying it. He knows this is his cue. He should just remove himself from the living room so he won’t get caught with a hard-on. He doesn’t miss a beat. Quickly, he turns the TV off and runs to the bathroom.

That’s how he ended up here, head pressed against the cold shower tiles, thinking about the way you said daddy over and over again. He is trying really hard not to give in, but his cock is aching with need. A part of him thinks he should just give in. It’s not such a big deal. Everyone masturbates. You just did. Three fucking times! That thought makes him groan. If you can come three times just by masturbating,how many times could he make you come?

So it’s not even a conscious decision when he starts to stroke himself when he starts thinking about making you come. He can’t stop himself from imagining how you would look under him or on top of him. It doesn’t matter which position. He just wants to feel you. Your moans are echoing in his head while he caresses the top of cock. Just one stroke and it makes him tremble. He can’t remember the last time he felt this turned on. He can’t remember the last time his whole body heated up like this, just at the thought of someone. But you aren’t just anybody. You are you.

Maybe it’s because it has been ages since he had sex. Perhaps it’s because of his growing crush on you. He tried to control those feelings, thinking he was too old for you. He thought you would never look in his direction. Why would you? You are intelligent, beautiful and so cute. Like all these qualities aren’t enough, you are always so thoughtful. You always ask if he wants your leftovers, or if he needs help with anything. He knows he wakes you up at night sometimes. His nightmares are loud, but you never complained. Not once. You always let him watch the news even though you would rather watch something else. You even lent some books to him. They were in such good condition he couldn't believe his eyes. It was like reading a brand-new book. So yeah, he really tried to act like it was nothing but a silly crush, but after hearing the way you moan daddy he can’t stop himself anymore. It was as if you awakened something inside him.

He doesn’t know what to do. Should he take his time or just get over with it? He keeps his fingers loose, stroking himself up and down slowly while his head still rests on the tiles. Even with minimal effort, it feels so good. He gently cups his balls, massaging them and imagining you are the one doing it. You are the one touching the most intimate parts of his body. You are the one ready to satisfy his growing need.

“Oh fuck.” A moan escapes his lips. The shower is running and you don’t have a super hearing like him, so he knows he’s safe. Still, it feels like it’s something he shouldn’t be doing. He shouldn’t be touching himself. He shouldn’t be moaning like this, yet you are so beautiful and needy… He already wanted you before hearing how you sound in bed, but now he wants you even more. He wants to be the one to bring you pleasure. He wants to be the one that satisfies all your needs so much that you would never need to touch yourself. Unless it’s to tease him.

He’s feeling guilty. So fucking guilty, but there’s no way he could stop now. Imagining you does something to him. There’s this primal need in his abdomen, building up.

His fingers tighten around his cock, moving faster than before, and he presses his lips together, trying not to make a sound. He keeps rubbing on that one sensitive part of his cock and finally, he starts coming with a choke. He keeps stroking himself, thinking it will be over soon, but it doesn’t end. There’s so much come that it surprises him. His hands continue pumping and his come paints the bathroom tiles immediately. He takes a deep breath when he’s done, trying to collect himself.

It feels like his head is spinning. He had been masturbating for quite some time, but he doesn’t remember the last time it felt this good. He opens his eyes, trying to ground himself, and all that shame he feels comes rushing in while looking at the mess he made. He groans loudly and then reaches for the showerhead. It doesn’t take long for him to clean the shower and then himself with the thought of you is still on the back of his mind. He is soaping himself, scrubbing, and then rinsing while trying to convince himself that it isn’t a big deal. It’s just masturbation. It’s normal.

Of course, he knows how normal it is. It’s like breathing, eating, or drinking water. His body needs it so he gave in, but listening to you and touching himself while thinking about you… That’s where he crossed the line. He knows it, yet he can’t bring himself to wish he never heard you. He might be a creep or a pervert, it doesn’t matter. Your voice, the way you sound while coming, and the way you touch yourself are stacked in his memory forever. It’s something no one can take away from him.

Sighing, he steps out of the shower. Drying himself doesn’t take too long. When he steps into the living room, all that welcomes him is silence. You are still in your bedroom, God knows doing what. The TV is off, and nothing seems to have moved since he ran to the bathroom. So he’s safe. You haven’t heard or suspected anything.

Quietly, he goes back to his room, finds something to put on and just looks in the mirror. Is he really too old for you or is that all in his mind? He doesn’t look older than 35, but that doesn’t change when he was born.

What if you are into that, though? What if you really like older guys? That would change everything, wouldn’t it? You would like that he’s older than you. Maybe you would even call him daddy, just like you did in your fantasy. That thought makes the blood rush back to his cock, making him feel the arousal running through his veins once again. Like he didn’t masturbate in the shower a couple of minutes ago.

He knows his anatomy by now. He knows he’s able to get hard again pretty quickly thanks to the super soldier serum, but he hasn’t been this horny for a long time. Especially not because of the thought of someone, but the thought of you calling him daddy…

Jesus… It makes him so hard!

Sighing, he drops his whole weight on the bed and closes his eyes, fighting the urge to touch himself again. It’s for the best if he stops thinking about you and focuses on something else, isn’t it? He tries to think of something, anything that could take his mind off of you, but nothing, absolutely nothing is more interesting. Nothing he tries to focus on lasts. His mind goes running back to you, imagining how you would look the moment he would push himself inside you. How your mouth would open, how you would throw your head back, and how wonderful it would feel.

That thought does it. It breaks his resistance. All the effort he put into not touching himself again goes out of the window, especially once he imagines you saying “Harder, please, daddy, I need it harder.” His hand goes under his boxers, slowly toying with his cock. It feels like he didn’t touch himself today, and the need is even stronger now. After a couple of strokes, he realizes he can’t move his hand properly like this, so he pushes down his shorts and boxers at the same, creating some space for movement.

He looks down at his cock, already oozing with precum. His flesh hand moves on top of the head and smears it all the way down, making it easier for him to play with himself. He sets a steady rhythm, testing what feels right, but his precum isn’t enough to make it enjoyable. That’s when he reaches for his nightstand and takes out the bottle of lube. His metal hand works fast, opening the bottle and putting a generous amount on hisnhand, before he puts it back and starts to touch himself.

Now it feels much better. His hand works seamlessly from the top to the bottom, repeating the same movement a couple of times. He tries to get lost in his fantasies but something feels off. He isn’t sure what it is because what he’s doing is enjoyable. Something is not enough. Maybe he should work faster. So that’s what he tries. His hand starts to move faster on his cock, but that’s not helping.

He’s pretty sure this is what his body wants especially because he’s still rock hard. Should he be more gentle and take his sweet time? That doesn’t seem to work, either. Does he need a tighter grip? Maybe, but he can’t do more with his flesh hand. He glances at his metal hand for the first time since he started. He never used it to pleasure himself before. The flesh looked and seemed more appealing than metal, yet right now it’s not enough.

There’s a first time for everything.

He reaches for the lube once again. This time he uses his flesh hand and pours some on his metal one as he tries to convince himself that this is not a bad idea.

He goes right back into touching himself, just with his metal hand this time. It feels different, really different, and surprisingly okay. It doesn’t feel as warm. The texture is completely different yet it somehow works. His fingers start to work faster, his thumb brushing over the head and, thanks to the lube, it starts to feel much better than he ever expected. His reluctance slowly fades away and he decides to test how fast he can move his metal hand and how much his cock can actually take it. As he paces up, pleasure starts to build so unexpectedly. He takes a deep breath but keeps moving his hand. His head is now thrown back while with the flesh hand, he cups his balls, gently massaging them.

“Oh god…”

He doesn’t realize that he's just said that out loud. He just keeps working on himself, letting his whole body relax under that pleasure. He really didn’t intend to focus on you this time, but here you are again, in his mind. The image of you on top of him… You with all your charm and cuteness, touching him, making him feel this good while he takes your nipples into his mouth and sucks them until you can’t take it anymore. It drives you crazy, so you beg him to fuck you. Just like you begged while touching yourself.

“Please, please, please… I really need it, please…”

He can hear it so clearly like you are here and really begging him. There’s nothing he wouldn’t do to make that really happen.

“Anything you want, doll.”

His fingers move like they have a mind of their own. He knows he should slow down a little, make this one last a bit longer because it feels amazing, but his metal hand isn’t listening to him.

“Oh fuck, fuck.”

He knows he’s about to come. He can feel it. It’s right there, just a few strokes away. He loses his damn mind imagining you under him, split open, and getting railed by him. God, that would feel so fucking good! You looking at him with those big beautiful eyes and begging him for more… Then your name slips out of his lips like it’s the most natural thing to say at that moment.

Right when he’s about to come, a loud noise comes from the living room. Like something has just got shattered into pieces. His eyes fly open. He grabs his shorts and puts them on quickly, tucking his freaking erection away, and opens his door to see you standing there with an oversized T-shirt on. The glass you were probably holding is on the ground, but you don’t seem to care about that. You are looking at him with wide eyes and an open mouth.

Shit! She heard me.

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surftrips · 5 months

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SHAPESHIFT | CLARISSE LA RUE

pairing: clarisse la rue x female!reader

summary: clarisse wonders if you know just how much she likes you.

word count: 2.1k

author's note: this is the first part of a two part series i'm writing based on jenna doe's songs: shapeshift + pink slips. this is from clarisse's pov and the second one is from readers' :) lmk if you want to be tagged in part 2 <3

i. i think you have a type, and it's not me

Clarisse has been watching you from the second you arrived at camp. Since you spent every day doing more or less the same thing, she was able to pick up on your routine pretty fast. Two sugars in your coffee every morning. A walk around the lake in the afternoon. Archery practice before the sunset.

She felt weird going to practices at the same time as you, but she couldn’t help herself. Whenever she got a chance to sneak away from her siblings in the Ares cabin, she always found herself back in your presence. However, the thought to approach you like a normal person had never crossed her mind. Clarisse is the kind of person that needs to be in control, and talking to you one-on-one would mean letting her inhibitions take over, so she always made sure to keep her distance.

Once or twice, Clarisse had seen you on dates with another camper. At first, she thought you were just having a picnic with the girl from Aphrodite, until the two of you began holding hands. The next day, Clarisse saw you in the other girl’s sweater, which made her so sick she avoided you for an entire week.

The Aphrodite girl (her name, Clarisse later found out, was Stacy) began showing up with you more often. Stacy wore bows in her hair and pearl necklaces, whereas Clarisse’s mascara was always smudged and accessories that didn’t double as weapons felt wrong on her. For the first time, Clarisse wondered why she couldn’t just be like all the other girls. Or at least, a girl you would pay attention to.

It wasn’t for a lack of trying. Clarisse tried to make her penchant for you as obvious as possible, while actively hiding it from the rest of camp. This proved to be difficult because at the same time, she also didn’t want to get too close to you because, well— what would she even say to you?

Her flirting consisted of winking at you during Capture the Flag or from across the dining hall. She had an ongoing list of nicknames of what to call you when no one else was around, but those moments were few and far between. Once, she even went as far as brushing away a stray piece of hair that had fallen on your face. There seemed to be nothing left for her to do except put bows in her hair or maybe paint her nails, and the thought of doing either of those things made her almost as sick as seeing you and Stacy together.

Between her and the Aphrodite girl, she knew which girl you would choose. Had chosen.

ii. mold me how you want me to be

Still, that was not going to stop Clarisse. She had never backed down from a fight before, and this was no different. Even if Stacy didn’t know it, she had become Clarisse’s number one enemy, even more so than that Percy Jackson kid that had recently shown up at camp. It just wasn’t fair that she had been watching you for so long and here comes Aphrodite’s daughter out of nowhere to sweep you off your feet.

Since Clarisse knew your routine by heart, she devised a plan to get you alone. She decided that she would finally make a move, and then you could pick for yourself who you wanted to be with. Easy enough, right?

At night, Clarisse lay awake in bed thinking about you, Stacy, then you and Stacy together. Though she didn’t want to go there, her brain wondered what the two of you were doing at that very moment. Her thoughts ranged from tame, to slightly more unhinged. Like, were you lying underneath the stars on your picnic blanket? Or was Stacy doing your makeup as she straddled your lap?

Clarisse didn’t pray often, but ever since she met you, she had taken to silently wishing you would acknowledge her. Each time she saw you with your arms wrapped around Stacy, she yearned to know what that would feel like. Not that she thought you would come near her with a ten-foot pole. Stacy is sweet, like bubblegum or strawberries from the fields, and Clarisse is the opposite. If you tasted her, she might make your gums bleed.

Before you, she was never the kind of girl to care about her appearance. Gods, she was the daughter of Ares, they weren’t known for their beauty but their strength and power and when it came to those categories, Clarisse knew that she had Stacy beat.

And yet, Clarisse would change just about anything about herself if it would make you like her more. In your hands, she would turn into putty, moldable clay to take the shape of your ideal lover. Hell, she would change her name if she thought you didn’t like the sound of it.

iii. kill anyone if you ask me to

A few weeks later, the Ares cabin and yours happened to be on the same team for Capture the Flag. It was the closest Clarisse had been to you ever since you began dating Stacy. The proximity to you was killing her, but she had to stay focused—on winning the game and your heart.

Putting aside her wandering thoughts, Clarisse barked out instructions to the campers. When she got to your cabin, she assigned you and your half-siblings to be the second line of defense for the flag. Clarisse figured this way, she could keep you out of harm’s way. Also, this was her one chance to talk to you without Stacy hanging off your body and she wasn’t going to let this opportunity pass.

After the first conch blew, Clarisse went on high-alert mode. Her team had lost the last game to Luke and Annabeth’s team, but she was not going to accept defeat this time. Her eyes darted back and forth between blind spots in the forest and you and the flag.

As she absent-mindedly waved her new spear around, Clarisse heard soft footsteps behind her. She whipped her head around with her weapon aimed in the air, preparing to fight whoever had approached her.

“Shit, Y/N, you scared me.” It was just you. Wait– it was you.

“I’m sorry, didn’t mean to,” you responded, your hands in front of you.

Clarisse almost couldn’t believe her eyes. Did someone poison her earlier and she was hallucinating right now? Okay, keep it cool.

“Is something wrong?” Clarisse managed to ask after composing herself, realizing that you had moved away from your post.

“Uh, no. I- um… heard about what happened to your spear last week, and I just wanted to say I’m sorry,” you smiled nervously.

“Why?”

“Why…. am I sorry?”

Clarisse wanted to slap her hand across her forehead. Why did she say that? She meant to ask why are you talking to me right now? What did I do to deserve this? But she didn’t know how to word that in a way that wouldn't make you think she was crazy.

When she didn’t respond, you began backing away. “Look, I’m sorry if this is a sensitive topic. I just felt bad, is all.”

“No!” Clarisse began panicking. “I didn’t mean it like that- just, why are you talking to me now? We’ve never had a real conversation before.”

“Does it matter?” She expected you to be confused, but the look at your face seemed more amused than anything.

“No, I guess not,” Clarisse couldn’t help but smile. Gods, why was she so awkward? Anyone else, she would’ve been perfectly fine, but in the last few minutes, her mouth had gone dry and her legs felt as though they would give out at any second.

“Great,” you beamed in return. Clarisse’s eyes catch yours and the two of you stare at each other in content for a minute. Or at least, you are. Clarisse is convinced an Aphrodite kid has changed her pupils to hearts. “I haven’t seen you around lately,” you broke the silence.

“What do you mean? I’m always around,” Clarisse stammered for an excuse.

“Well, sure. It’s a small camp.” You seemed to be enjoying seeing Clarisse fumble for words. “But I used to see you all the time. At breakfast and archery.”

Clarisse ignored the implications of your comment. “Oh, I guess we just started going at different times then. You know you’re always with Stacy now—”

At the mention of your girlfriend’s name, your face contorted into something strange and unfamiliar to Clarisse. But before she could figure it out, a noise behind you caused the two of you to turn around abruptly.

“Y/N, watch out!” Clarisse shouted at you, but it was too late. Someone had dragged you backwards, knocking your weapon out of your hand. You struggled to free yourself, but whoever was holding you had revealed a dagger and you didn’t want to risk accidentally cutting yourself.

“If you know what’s best for yourself, let her go.” Clarisse breathed furiously, pausing between the last three words in her sentence. You couldn’t see who was restraining you, but you could feel their heart rate quicken at the sight of Clarisse’s spear getting dangerously close.

“And what if I don’t?” they responded. You knew that they were just putting on a front, you could feel their chest heaving up and down on your back. Clarisse seemed to know this too, she’s always been able to sense fear in people— mostly because she is the one that invokes it.

“I don’t think you want to find out,” she grinned, a wicked smile on her face. The next second, her spear had jabbed into the camper’s side, causing them to let go of their hold on you. You dropped to the ground.

“Shit!” the camper swore, rubbing their ribcage. “You’re not supposed to actually hurt me!” You could see their face now, one of Hermes' kids you’ve seen hanging around Luke.

“Now, what’s the fun in that?” Clarisse laughed. “Besides, the spearhead is blunt. You’ll be fine, drama queen.”

The kid scrambled away, leaving behind the dagger they had previously threatened you with. Clarisse ran over, instinctively putting her hands on your face. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I think so.” You began to stand up, but Clarisse pushed you back down.

“Clar, come on, I’m fine.”

“Are you sure? Let me just get a look at you,” she insisted, ignoring the way your nickname for her made something in her stomach flip over. You relented, knowing it was useless to argue with her. You allow her to scan your body for any signs of harm. Clarisse took her time, unsure of when the next time she would be this close to you again. Most of your body was covered by your armor or clothes, so her eyes drifted toward your exposed arms and the area where the kid had touched you.

Hesitantly, she reached for the side of your stomach. “Are you sore? Did they leave a mark?”

“No, I don’t think so,” you shook your head, lifting up the hem of your shirt to see. You heard Clarisse’s breath hitch. “What? What’s wrong?” You were fully sat up now.

“N-nothing!” Color rushed into Clarisse’s cheeks, causing her to turn her head away suddenly.

You giggled, her reaction not going unnoticed. “Thanks for saving me, tough girl.”

“Of course.” Clarisse pulled you up on your feet. “Anything for you, pretty girl.” The words slipped out of her mouth before she could register it. The two of you stared at each other again, it seemed as though eye contact was your main form of communication at the moment. And right now, Clarisse’s eyes were sparkling with something familiar, almost like how Stacy looks at you—

“Oh my god, babe! Are you okay?” Speaking of the devil, Clarisse rolled her eyes at the sight of your girlfriend running up.

“Stacy! How’d you know something was wrong?” You were pulled into a stifling hug, the air thick with floral perfume.

“Silly girl, I am the daughter of Aphrodite. I have a heightened sense for these things,” Stacy pulled her arms away and gave you a once-over, presumably to check for injuries, before smothering you with kisses.

Clarisse coughed, once, and then again a little louder. “Oh!” Stacy turned toward her. “Clarisse, I didn’t see you there.”

“I wouldn’t be standing here if it weren’t for her,” you said, sensing Clarisse’s uneasiness.

Now, Stacy’s face contorted into something strange. Shamelessly, Clarisse took pride in being the cause of it.

“Well, thank you,” she responded tersely. “Come on, let’s get one of the Apollo kids to look at you.” Stacy pushed you away before you could protest. You offered Clarisse a weak smile before turning around.

Clarisse sighed, maybe if she had been a daughter of Aphrodite, she could shapeshift into someone you walked away with— not from.

That night, she prayed to Ares for the first time in months.

#WHERE ARE ALL MY SAPPHICS #WOMEN LOVERS #WARNING: YEARNING #clarisse la rue #clarisse la rue x reader #percy jackson series #percy jackson #pjo #dior goodjohn #dior goodjohn x reader #clarisse la rue imagine #pjo x you #clarisse la rue x you

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jpmarvel90 · 5 months

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Don't Belong pt 1

Masterlist Natasha Masterlist

Word Count: 8392

Relationship: Mother WandaNat x Daugher Reader

Summary: Y/n is the adopted daughter of Natasha Romanoff and Wanda Maximoff. However, when science enables her mother's to have twin boys who are biogloically both of their's, her relationship slowly changes. At 17 she's ready to move out and move on, is it too late for her moms to fix things?

Y/n's POV:

When I was 6, my life was saved by none other than the Black Widow. She came in like the hero she is and saved me from the hell that was Hydra. Whilst helping me to acclimatise to normal life, we grew close, and she was a mother figure I never had. I was so shocked when she told me that she wanted to adopt me.

It was everything that I could ever ask for. She was an amazing mom. Caring, loving and always there for me. She had this soft side that not many people got to see. To the world, and a lot of the team, she had this tough, steely exterior. But I never saw that. Not from the moment she found me. I always felt safe and loved around her.

A couple of years later, Wanda joined the team and soon enough, Mama fell in love. I never saw mama so happy. They had the perfect relationship and Wanda took me on without a second thought. When I was 9, she adopted me, and I had two loving parents.

We had quite a domestic life. Tony built us a separate suite at the compound so we could still be close by for when they were needed for missions. I loved having parents that were heroes. I was so proud of them. I ended up spending quite a bit of time with Pepper when they were on missions together, but when they came home, they always had a couple of days off to spend time with me to make up for being away. It was great.

Watching them make a difference in the world, was the reason I joined the SHIELD Young Initiative Programme. I wanted to be just like my moms. Steve became a huge support to me, and alongside him and mama, I was acing all my practicals and exams.

But before that, when I was 11, our family grew. With the help of Bruce and Tony, Mom got pregnant with twins, both biologically hers and mamas. Billy and Tommy made our family complete.

As soon as Mom got pregnant, Mama told Fury that she wouldn't be going on missions once mom got into her third trimester and that after the birth they both would be taking maternity leave. She also told him that they would only ever be sent on a mission together if it was to save the world. Otherwise, under no circumstances were they to go together. They wanted to be around for the twins as much as possible and didn't want them left on their own if they had to go on missions together.

For the first couple of years, everything was perfect. But when they became toddlers, they were a bit of a handful. It meant that mom's focus went to them and slowly I became less of a priority for them.

I found it hard as I was coming into my teenage years, and I felt like I needed my moms more than ever. But I understood at the start. I was old enough that I could look after myself and the twins needed more. But it got harder when every time I tried to talk to one of them, I was brushed off, or told to speak to them later. But later never came.

Once I hit 13, I was their personal babysitter whenever they needed it. Mama told me how they were trying to make sure that her and mom still had quality time together, so had a date night or day each week. Seems they forgot about quality time with their daughter. It got to the point I was expected to drop everything to be there for my brothers. Picking them up at school, taking them to soccer. It didn't matter what I had planned, I was expected to do my job for the family. I did it without complaining, because I thought if I could prove that I was a good sister, maybe they would start to acknowledge me more.

To try and prove myself worthy, I worked even harder for SHIELD. However, now I lost mama as my training partner. She was too busy with work or the twins to help me train. It hurt when she told me that but, thankfully, Steve stepped up more than he had. He became like a father to me. I could confide in him when my moms didn't have time. Though there were still things that I couldn't talk to him about.

Now I'm 17, working towards graduating the youth programme and into SHEILD as an official agent. We have our final exams coming up and I'm doing everything I can to be ready for them. The top two initiates will get fast tracked through the system and be able to go on missions sooner.

I want nothing more than getting that chance. I need to start making a name for myself and to stop being under my mothers' shadow. Once I wanted to be just like them, to make them proud. But now I know that's not possible. They have their perfect biological family. I was just the stray they took pity on.

"You know, you could take it easy today. You're more than capable of passing these exams even on a bad day. You'll be finishing top of the class and joining us for missions in no time." Steve tells me as he holds the punch bag for me. "I just want to be on top of my game." I tell him, hitting the bag as precisely as I could.

"Have you told your moms about the date for your final practical. I'm sure they'll want to be around when you get home." He asks, making me falter with my hits. "I did, but I don't think they were listening. Although they seemed to acknowledge it, Billy was showing them his Lego at the time." I share with him.

Steve knows what's been happening with my moms and the only reason he hasn't done anything is because I made him promise not to. All I need to do is graduate and then I can get moved into the SHIELD facility and start a new life without being a burden on my family.

"You know, you should talk to them. I know you've tried, but really sit them down and tell them how you're feeling." He tries once again. "It's been years now. If they really cared for me, they would notice that they barely see me anymore. I don't even remember the last time they said I love you." I respond, my hits getting harder.

"Ok, I'm calling this. You'll hurt yourself and then you won't even be able to complete your exams." Steve tells me, stepping between me and the bag. I sigh but know he's right. "Just try for me ok. Maybe after your exams. They'll be so proud of you." He pleads. "Ok, fine." I agree. "Now go shower kiddo. You stink!" He teases me before dodging a punch I try to land on his arm.

I smile as I head up to my room. As I walk into our apartment, I see the happy family sat together watching TV. "Hi moms." I call out when I enter. They don't even turn around, so I call out again, only to get the same response. I decide to go and join them but as soon as I sit down, I'm scolded by mom. "Y/n do you have to come in here like that. Go and shower will you." She tells me off. I look to mama who doesn't even glance in my direction. "Sorry, I was training for my final exam." I explain but once again, nothing. I let out a small humourless chuckle to myself as I leave the living room. Every day, I feel more and more like I don't belong here anymore.

__________

I did it! I actually passed! Not only did I pass, I topped the class. I think I even saw Fury smile. I'm so happy, nothing can burst my bubble right now. As a class, we all decide that we're going to celebrate tonight. We've been a tight group and it'll be nice to actually spend time together without having to study or practice.

I practically run back to the compound, smiling ear to ear. "Someone's happy." Steve calls out to me as I rush through the kitchen. "Someone might be your partner one day!" I call out as I keep on towards my destination of finding my parents. "Can't wait kiddo. Well done! Knew you could do it!" Steve shouts after me.

"Y/n, don't run!" Mama scolds me as I find them in the living room. "Sorry, but I have to tell you something that I know you'll want to hear." I apologise with a smile on my face. "Not now Y/n. We're about to head out. The boys just need dinner and don't let them stay up late." She tells me. That's when I notice that she's dressed up in her best jacket.

"I can't look after the twins tonight. Our class are going to celebrate." I explain, hoping she might ask why we're celebrating. But that would be wishful thinking. "Time with your friends can wait Y/n." She tells me without even looking up at me, too focused on her phone. "Can't one of the others watch them. Just for tonight. I've never asked before. But just this once. Please." I practically beg, but to no use. "Stop being selfish and just watch the boys." She snaps, making a lump form in my throat.

"Fine." I mumble, leaving the room and head out of our apartment. "Where are you going?" She calls after me. "To see Steve. Don't worry, I'll be back to watch your precious boys." I talk back whilst leaving, hearing her call after me.

I make my way to find Steve. I know he'll be excited with my results. I wipe at my eyes for the few traitorous tears that fell. "So, I hear someone will be an Avenger in no time." Tony says as I walk into the kitchen. "I think I'll stick with SHIELD." I respond. I have no desire to be a full time Avenger. I'll be around to see my moms live their perfect life without me.

"I'm proud of you kiddo." Steve smiles at me, pulling me into a hug. "Thanks, old man. I couldn't have done it without you." I tell him truthfully, squeezing him tighter. "Your mom's must be proud. Especially Nat. Now's the time for celebrating." Pepper says. "Oh, I'm babysitting the boys tonight." I respond, trying to hide my disappointment. I notice that all others share a look.

They have all noticed how my relationship has changed with my moms, but thankfully, never brought it up. "We could watch them. Let you go out with your class. I know how much you've been looking forward to it." Pepper offers kindly. "Thanks, but mama said it had to be me." I reply. "Sorry kiddo." Steve says, wrapping his arms around me. "It's ok. I better go back before I get into trouble. I just wanted to tell you all about the results." I tell them.

"Of course Y/n. We're so proud of you. I can't wait to work with you." Tony pats me on the shoulder, whilst the others all give me a hug. "We'll do something together tomorrow." Steve promises and I nod. "I'd like that." I reply, taking a deep breath before heading back home.

When I get back to the apartment, both mom and mama are waiting to go. "Good, you're back. We'll be home late." Mom tells me, turning to leave. "And we'll talk about your attitude in the morning." Mama adds on with a stern look before turning to leave. "I love you." I call out after them. No response. My head drops. I really have just become the live in nanny.

_________

The next day, I didn't have to face my moms in the morning. They had taken the boys to the park and out for breakfast. I didn't even get an invite. But thankfully, Steve is taking me for dinner tonight to celebrate the passing of my exams and my imminent graduation.

He's taken me to my favourite Italian restaurant. It's nice to have this time. Steve really has been the only parent I've had recently. I'm so grateful for him. "So your moms don't know?" Steve asks as I tell him that I've been told I can move into SHIELD accommodation in a few days. "I've tried, but as usual, I barely have a conversation with them anymore. They probably wouldn't even notice that I've gone." I admit the painful truth. "Do you think they even still love me?" I ask the question that has been haunting me for a long time now.

Steve looks at me with a sympathetic look. He reaches out and takes my hand. "Oh Y/n. I'm sure they do. They just got lost in the boys and have forgot, that even though you're a teenager, you still need them." He tries to defend them. "If you say so." I mumble, not believing him.

"Well, I have something that might cheer you up." Steve says, changing the subject. "Oh yeah, and what might that be Captain?" I ask with a smirk, making him roll his eyes. "I spoke with Fury, and he already has a mission for you. It's nothing too big, a simple in and out to get some data." Steve explains, making a smile grow on my face. "Really? Me on a mission already?" I question and he nods. "Fury would have had you on them earlier. You've been the best recruit the programme has seen. But he had to follow protocol. There is one downside though." He shares. "Oh God, don't tell me it's with my mother?" I ask making him laugh. "No, just this old man." He responds. "Really? I'm going with you?" I ask excitedly. "Yeah, you don't need me. But I wanted to see you in action on your first mission. I really am proud of you kiddo. I'm glad that I've had a front row seat to seeing you become the woman you have." He expresses honestly, taking me off guard.

The rest of dinner is lovely, and I have a really nice time. It's nice to actually have someone care about your achievements. However, that happiness soon disappears when I enter the apartment to two angry moms. "Where do you think you've been? You've not been answering your phone." Mama yells at me. I reach into my pocket and see that my phone is dead.

"Sorry, my cell died." I tell her, but that doesn't help. "So, are you going to share where you were without telling us? It's 10pm Y/n!" Mom now joins in. "I was having dinner with Steve." I share. "Until this late. Why would you be going out for dinner on a school night? Why didn't he ask us first?" Mama questions me.

"We went out to celebrate when I missed going with my class. And it's not a school night. The programme has finished now." I tell them, trying to keep my cool. "Is this about that party you couldn't go to last night?" Mom asks. "No, actually, it was having someone to celebrate with that I finished top of my class and am now officially a SHIELD agent!" I snap back, taking them both by surprise.

"You've had your final exams already?" Mom asks, stepping closer but I pull away. "Yeah, I have told you on a number of occasions. But apparently you don't listen to me anymore." I admit, feeling tears building. "You finished top?" Mama says proudly, but I just scoff. Her pride is too late. "Like you even care." I growl. "Don't talk to your mother like that." Mom tells me off.

"Like what? You haven't given me the time of day in years. Why do you suddenly care that I was out late. Was I not around to be your personal babysitter? Or were you just annoyed I wasn't there for the one time you noticed I wasn't around." I call them both out taking them by surprise.

"Y/n it was one night." Mom tries to deny more calmly. "No, it wasn't. It's always the twins this, the twins that. I have to make allowances for them in my life and stop what I'm doing to be there to babysit them. When was the last time that you spent any time with me? When did you last tell me you love me or even acknowledge me?" I shout, tears falling down my cheeks, as my parents stand staring at me in shock.

"I have worked my ass off with SHIELD so I can get in and earn my spot with them. Where I can have my own place and start a life for myself. Because I clearly haven't been a part of this family for a long time." I share how I've been feeling. I notice that both their eyes tear up. "Oh Y/n, sweetheart, that's not the case. Of course you belong." Mama tries to argue, moving closer with a shaky hand out in front of her. I don't reach out. In fact, I move away. "Well neither of your actions have shown it in the last few years." I point out, making mom cry harder. "Look it's fine. I get it. I'm not your biological child. Billy and Tommy are. I'll always be grateful for you saving me from Hydra, but you've got your family now. Don't worry, I'll be gone in a couple of days." I say sadly before heading to my room, my moms frozen in shock in their spot.

I slam the door shut behind me, locking it and falling onto my bed. I bury my head into the pillow and sob. All the emotions I've been bottling up come out. My whole body wracks with each sob as I realise, it's official. I really have lost my family now.

Nat's POV:

I feel the tears slowly falling down my cheeks as I realise that my daughter stood before me as a broken girl who thinks her moms don't love her anymore. By the time I come to my senses, Y/n is already gone, and I'm left facing my wife who is sobbing. "Have we really been putting the boys first so much she thinks that we don't want her anymore?" I say at a whisper, my voice getting caught in my throat.

"It's my fault. Things changed when I came into the picture, and we started trying for our own babies. We didn't even consider how that must have made her feel. We didn't even reassure her that we would still love her just as much, regardless of if the boys were ours biologically or not." Wanda responds.

I quickly move forward and wrap my arms around her. "It's not your fault my love. We both wanted that. Our lives are significantly better with you in them Wanda. But you're right. We should have tried harder to make sure we involved Y/n and showed her will still love her." I comfort her.

I can't believe that I've let Y/n get to this point. The day I found her in that cell, she changed my life for the better. She not only made me a mother, but she made me more human. She made me see there was more than being an Avenger. She is the reason that I who I am today. Yet I've neglected her. I got so focused on the twins that I didn't even notice how little I have seen Y/n.

"We should go and talk to her." I suggest whilst Wanda still clings to me. "She was angry. We should give her some space. Let's take her for breakfast in the morning. I'll ask Pepper to watch the boys and we can start to make this right." She counters. "But..." I start, not wanting to leave this longer than we have to. "This is our daughter we're talking about. She has your temper." Wanda tearily chuckles. "Hey!" I poorly defend. She's right though. She might not be biologically mine, but she is my mini me.

That night I don't sleep. All I can think of is every time that I blew Y/n off and decided to spend time with the twins instead. When did we stop doing things as a family? I try and think of the last time I trained with her or helped her prepare for her exams. God, how did I not even know she was taking them this week?! "Your thoughts are loud Detka." Wanda mumbles sleepily as she turns over to look at me. When she sees the distress on my face, she gives me a sympathetic smile. "She has worked so hard, and we didn't even know she was completing her final exams. She told us yet neither of us remembered or even heard her apparently. We are awful moms!" I sigh.

Wanda moves and pulls me into her embrace. "I know. I feel awful too. I'm so proud of her though. She finished top. She's just like you." She shares. "She's moving out." I realise whilst Wanda just looks at me confused. "What do you mean?" She questions. "She said she would be gone in a few days. She must have been assigned a room at SHIELD. Our little girl was ready to leave the nest and we didn't even know." I respond, another wave of sadness washing over me.

"We'll talk to her and make her see that she is still very much wanted here. If she still wants to move out that's fine, but she has to know that we love her and always have. We can't change the past but we sure as hell can make sure we change the future and how see feels." She says determined.

Neither of us really sleep. I think we regret not talking to her last night. But our tiredness soon takes over and we get some much need kip. It definitely won't do any of us favours when we talk to Y/n in the morning. She won't make it easy on us and I don't want to snap because I'm too tired.

When we eventually get up, we check on the boys and I go to ask Pepper if she would mind watching the boys. "Is Y/n not available?" Pepper asks with a humourless chuckle. "What? No, we're going to take her to breakfast." I respond, surprised at the bite to her tone. She hums in surprise. "I'll take the boys. Make sure you treat that girl. She definitely deserves it." She tells me firmly. I nod and thank her before going to get the boys.

"Everything ok?" Wanda asks me when I take Billy from her. "Whilst we've been failing to notice Y/n, I think everyone else has noticed our behaviour. It's very frosty down there." I tell her and she nods sadly. I guess we can't expect anything less.

It makes me wonder what could have happened if we didn't have everyone else around. They have clearly been supportive to her and been there when Wanda and I should have. What if she didn't have that support, would she have even still been with us?

Shaking off the thought, Wanda and I take the boys to the compound living room, where we receive a number of glares from the team that were there. Thankfully, nothing is said, but my guilt keeps on growing.

With the boys sorted, I take Wanda's hand and we head to Y/n's room. I take a deep breath and knock on the door. We wait anxiously but get no response. I try again, calling out to her this time. "Y/n, honey. Can we come in?" I ask, but once again, we're met by silence.

I look to Wanda who's got a concerned look on her face. "Sweetheart, we're going to come in now." Wanda speaks up and pushes down on the door handle. I'm surprised when it opens but that is soon replaced by shock when I see her room practically empty. There are a couple of boxes with her stuff in, but most of her clothes have gone.

I let go of Wanda's hand and quickly move into the ensuite to see if she's in there, but I'm met by more empty cabinets. Panic builds within me to know that she's gone. "Where is she?" Wanda asks as stands by the chest of draws, picking up photos that had been turned upside. She lets out a muffled sob when she sees they're our family photos. What have we done to our daughter.

"She's probably asked Fury if she could move sooner. Considering how much he loves her, I'm sure he would have done anything to get her in as soon as possible." I respond, letting out a sigh. "But she's only 17. She's still a kid." Wanda argues. "I know babe. But when she signed up, it was part of the contract that I signed as her parent. Besides, she turns 18 next week and we'd have no say anyway." I admit.

"Shit, is it already her birthday? We've done nothing to prepare for that. In fact, I'm sure we both forgot." Wanda exhales, running her hands through her hair, whilst I made sure all the photos were back upright. Though, I notice our last family photo was back when Y/n was just 15. We've got hundreds of photos with the twins, but it's been over two years since we've had a complete family photo.

Wanting to know that Y/n is ok, I grab my phone out and hit Fury's number. It rings out and I let out a sigh before trying Maria. "Romanoff." She greets me. "Hill, I was wondering if you could tell me if Y/n has moved into her room yet and if so where she's been placed. Wanda and I want to surprise her." I try my luck.

"I'm sorry, Y/n has asked that we don't disclose her room location at the moment. She has been allowed early move in, so will be in a position to share once the other agents are moving." Hill responds. "Please, Maria, I'm asking you as a friend. We really need to see Y/n." I plead, hoping she'll have sympathy on me. "And I'm telling you as a friend that how you treated your own daughter is unacceptable. Do you know why she was the best cadet to come through?" She calls me out. "No." I respond in a whisper. "Initially it was because she was trying to be just like her hero mothers. But she got even better when she was fighting to make her own name for herself to start her life over. I watched her personality change to become guarded and her walls built high. That's what you did to her Nat." She scolds me through the phone.

"I know Maria. We have fucked up more than we thought possible and we're trying to make this right. We can't do that if we can't even speak with her." I counter. "This isn't something you can just fix with a talk and a hug. This is years of you slowly neglecting her. Pushing yourself onto her is not going to help with that." Maria warns me. I know she's right. We'll end up pushing Y/n away if we're not careful. But I also know that I can't wait to fix this. I want my baby girl to know how much I love her. Despite my inability to show her these last few years.

Wanda and I spend the day trying to get any information on where Y/n might be. We get a lot of cold shoulders, and our questions often go answered. I even spend time hanging around the Shield accommodation to see if I can catch a glimpse of her. My lucks not in and I return home deflated.

When I walk through the door, a smile forms on my face as I see Wanda giving the boys dinner. "Any luck?" She asks. I just shake my head. "We'll find her." She says confidently. "When was the last time we had dinner with Y/n?" I ask, looking to Wanda who's looking at me sympathetically. "Detka, you are punishing yourself by think that." She scolds me lightly. "It's true though. She asked when we last said I love you to her. I've been trying to think, and I don't remember. How can a mother not remember when they last said I love you to their child. Have we really subconsciously disregarded her because she isn't biologically ours?" I share my thoughts, tears falling freely down my face.

Wanda quickly moves from the table, leaving the boys to carry on talking about the latest Nintendo game they're playing. She wraps her arms around me and pulls me in close. "We let ourselves get lost in the boys. They were a handful and we were blessed with a daughter who was selfless and caring. Subconsciously, we took advantage of that. But that changes now ok." She responds as I nod in the crock of her neck. We really need to fix this.

__________

It's been a few days and we've still had no luck in seeing Y/n. Wanda and I decided to go to Shield to talk to Fury today, whilst the boys were in school. I head straight to his office, knocking twice before heading in, not caring if he's busy. "Romanoff, Maximoff. What can I do for you?" He asks, moving his gaze from the laptop in front of him.

"It's been long enough now Fury. The other agents have started moving in and Y/n is still only 17, so tell us where she is staying." I demand, my tone harsh. "I can give you her room allocation, but she's not there." Fury responds, just angering me more. "Then where the hell is she?!" I shout, only calming down when I feel Wanda squeeze my hand. "She's on a mission. She'll back tomorrow." He responds nonchalantly.

"A mission? She's 17 Fury! How is she already going on a mission?!" Wanda responds before I even manage to direct my own anger into words. "She is almost 18 and finished top of her class. You knew that was a possibility when you signed her up Romanoff. She has the potential to be the best agent we've seen. She is ready." Fury retorts, but I'm still not happy. "She's just a kid, she could get hurt." I growl, worry taking over me.

"Natasha, she is far from the kid you think she is. If you still trained with her, you'd see that she can almost beat Steve in hand to hand combat and her weapons skill matches your own, if not better in some instances." He points out and I realise how little I actually know my daughter right now. "Look, I'll keep you posted when she's back." Fury concedes after a moment silence.

"Thank you. Is she on her own?" I ask but he shakes his head. "Steve went to be on comms." He replies and that puts my mind at ease a little. He loves her like his own, he'll do everything that he can to protect her. "Ok. Thank you." I say, taking Wanda's hand a heading home.

"We've missed so much Nat. Y/n used to tell us everything about her training and classes. We've created an environment where she doesn't feel like she can share with us anymore. She was probably so excited to get a chance on her first mission. But instead of us being with her and making sure she's prepared, we didn't even know she had gone." Wanda agonises.

"I'm worried that we may not be able to fix this. If her walls have gone up, they'll be near impossible to knock them down." I sigh. "You had walls once. What helped you to let them down?" Wanda asks. "Y/n." I respond, my gaze dropping to my hands. "Then we find away to be the same for her." Wanda tries to comfort me. But how can the people that caused her this pain, be the ones to pull her through.

The next morning is quiet whilst we get the boys ready for school. They asked this morning where Y/n was and that they missed her. It broke my heart. Because of our actions, not only is Y/n feeling alone, isolated, and not part of this family, but her brother might lose the chance of having their sister in their lives.

When we get home, we end up just sat waiting for any news that Y/n is on her way home so we can greet her. I want to be able to hear all about how her first mission went and actually be apart of something so special to her. I may not have shown it, but I've always been proud of her. She is talented and I loved training with her. I had always planned to join her again once the twins were old enough. But I didn't and it seems that I have missed out on so much.

Whilst I'm preparing lunch, I hear Friday's alarm go off and my ears tune in. "Emergency medical team to the landing bay. Emergency medical team to the landing bay." I don't even think before I'm dropping the knife onto the countertop. I go to call for Wanda, but she rushes in from the bedroom. "Something's wrong with Jess. I can feel it." She says worriedly. "Let's go." I say, taking her hand and rushing through the compound to get to the landing bay.

Cho is waiting, along with a nursing staff. "Is it Y/n?" I ask as we come to a halt next to her. It feels like an age before she responds. A small nod of the head breaks my heart. "H-how bad?" Wanda asks, a tremble to her voice. "Steve confirmed a gunshot wound. She's lost a lot of blood." She responds. I run my hand through my hair, my stomach in knots.

It feels like the world around me has become muffled. I don't hear the orders that Cho is giving her team. Had I been able to, maybe I would have known more about her condition. My chest feels tight at the thought of her being hurt and the chance that she might not make it.

It's not until a pair of hands cup my face, that I zone back into the environment around me. "Breathe for me baby." Wanda's shaking voice tries to calm me. But the complete fear in her own eyes doesn't do much to help. We're facing losing our daughter and she doubts the depths of our love for her.

I do my best to bring myself out of this panic attack. I can't be a broken version of myself. My wife and family need me more than ever. If I can't pull through now, I'm not worthy to be a mother. "That's it detka. Deep breathes." Wanda guides me. I take one more deep breath and stand straighter. This isn't about me.

I can see a frown on Wanda's face form as she sees me put up my own walls. I know that she hates when I do this, but it's the only way I know how to get through what's about to happen without completely breaking down.

It's not long until the QuinJet comes into sight and slowly starts to descend on to the landing pad. I feel like I'm holding my breath as we wait for the ramp to lower, and we can see how bad this is. My heart is thumping against my chest as it begins to lower, and I see Steve's face first.

Cho and her team move forward, a bed waiting, whilst Wanda and I hold back. I want to be by her side straight away, but I also know that we'll just be a hinderance to her care if we insist on being with her.

When we get a full view of Steve, I hear Wanda let out a sob beside me. He's holding our unconscious daughter in his arms. His own suit is covered in blood and my eyes instantly land on the blooded dressing on her stomach. "I tried to staunch the bleeding as best I could. But it just kept coming." Steve explains. I've never seen him so shaken up before.

He places Y/n on the hospital bed and moves out the way, before staring at his bloodied hands. Cho doesn't wait before rushing Y/n off to the medical bay, the three of us closely following behind.

"Is she going to be ok?" I ask as they start to get to work. But before she has a chance to respond, the machines start to go crazy and they move even faster to help my daughter. "I can't answer that right now Agent Romanoff. I need to focus on Y/n, but I promise I'll keep you updated." Cho says, her polite way of telling us to leave. I'm reluctant, knowing that in this moment, Y/n is on the verge of life or death. But with a subtle tug of my hand from Wanda, I follow to watch through the window outside.

My gaze doesn't leave my daughter as I watch over as the team work to save her life. I don't notice that another person has joined us until I hear a bang from behind me. My head shoots around where I see Steve pinning Fury to the wall. "You told us it was empty! That all she needed was to get to the drive and out again." Steve growls at Fury who's holding his hand up in surrender. "I know." He responds, but Steve isn't happy when he slams him against the wall again.

"Then why the hell is she led in that hospital fighting for her life. There was a whole guard waiting for her!" Steve yells. This information makes the anger inside me grow. "You sent her into an ambush?!" I join in now, furious that he has put my daughter in danger.

"I didn't know! I'm as surprised as you are." Fury tries to explain, but Steve isn't letting up. "Talk!" Steve spits. "I had an agent scout the base for two weeks! Every report was how there was no activity. I would never have sent her had I know there was any more risk. It was supposed to be an easy mission for her first." Fury explains.

I can see the honesty in his eyes, and I know Steve does too. Fury has been like family to Y/n and I do trust he would never willingly put her in unnecessary danger. "So, either Hydra suddenly decided to man the base or..." Steve starts. "The agent tipped them off." I finish off as Fury nods. "I've detained the agent, and he broke within minutes. It was a perfect opportunity for them to fight you without back up." Fury shares as Steve lets him go. "Except I wasn't meant to go in. So, they were faced with Y/n." Steve concludes.

"I'm sorry Nat. I really am. I never would put Y/n in danger like that. I wanted her to have a successful first mission. One that would build her confidence." Fury apologises with a sincerity that he rarely shows. "I want to see him." I state firmly, to which Fury sighs. "Me too. It's because of him that our daughter is fighting for her life." Wanda steps beside me, her eyes glowing red. "Not now, not while you're both angry and worried." Fury refuses. "He could be the reason my daughter dies!" I shout at him, but he doesn't budge. "And he'll also be the reason I have to arrest you for killing him. If it's not you it'll be Wanda. I'm not letting either of you do that." Fury once again declines.

In a huff, I drop to the seat in the waiting room, my head falling into my hands. He's right. I will kill him if I get my hands on him. "Be here for Y/n. She needs you now more than ever. Leave the rest to me. I can promise that he will not get away with it." Fury orders, the formality coming back into his tone. We all reluctantly agree, and he leaves content that, for now, a homicide will not be occurring.

"What happened?" I ask Steve when the silence becomes almost unbearable. He takes the seat next to me and his gaze falls to his blooded hands. "It was meant to be a simple mission to test her hacking. I was in the QuinJet for support, and she was to go in, get to the mainframe computer and download as much data as possible." He starts and I nod along. "It was going fine, and she was doing everything by the book, clearing each room one by one. Part of me was sure she would be just like you and be impatient to get what she needed." He shares, with a small smile, making me chuckle. "Thankfully, she's a far better agent than I am." I respond, feeling Wanda's hand interlink with mine.

"It was as she got to the second floor, she said something felt off. It was warmer and it didn't smell as damp and musty. She said there were signs that this floor had been used recently. Knowing the risk that could entail, I told her to pull back and we'd get a team to help us clear the base. It wasn't something we should be doing on our own." He continues to explain, my anger towards the double agent increasing by the minute. But I also feel pride at how she was able to establish that something was wrong.

"She did as I ordered, but she was ambushed on her way out. I was already on my way in to meet her when I heard gunshots start. By the time I reached her, all the agents were down around her, but an alarm was blaring, and I knew others would be on their way. I grabbed at Y/n's arm, but she didn't move. As I moved in front of her, it was then I saw where her gaze was fixed. She's been hit. I got her out of there as quickly as I could and set the QuinJet to fly on autopilot. I tried everything that I could to stop the bleeding, but there was just so much. I-I...." Steve starts to crumble as he aggressively rubs at the blood on his hands.

I reach out and place my hands over his, stopping his actions. "I know you would have done everything you could Steve. We don't blame you. I'm so grateful that you were there to help our daughter." I try to reassure him. "I'm going to clean up. I can't sit here with...this on my hands any longer." Steve says, standing up holding his hands out in front of him.

Silence falls again when it's just Wanda and me. I want to look through the window again, but I don't think I can see them working on her. If she dies, I can't watch that. She looked so small as Steve laid her on the bed. "I had always hoped I'd be with her on her first mission." I speak up, guilt building once again. "Hmm" Wanda responds, turning to look at me. "When we used to train together, I always knew she would be one of the best the agency we would see. I couldn't wait to work along side her. My pride was overwhelming." I share as Wanda smiles softly at me.

"What happened? Why did I let myself lose sight of her. I have no excuse for treating her how I did. When I adopted her, I promised that she would always be loved and safe. Look at her now. I wouldn't blame her if she never forgives me." I lament, tears stinging my eyes. "It wasn't just you babe. We both have done wrong by Y/n and it's not forgivable. But we can work to earn her trust back and be the mothers that she deserves." She tries to comfort me.

"What if she doesn't make it and we don't have a chance to make things right? Or she does make it through, but she wants nothing to do with us?" I question in a panic. "I think she always hoped you'd eventually pull your heads out your asses." Steves voice takes us both by surprise as he rejoins us in a pair of sweats and a hoody. "What do you mean?" I ask, confused.

"Fury loves that kid. If she had asked to move out sooner, he would have allowed her too. I think part of her didn't want to go just in case you started being the loving and caring mothers you once were. Ultimately, she was still a kid and desperate to still have you in her life." He clarifies. "But she had already gone. We blew our last shot." Wanda speaks up. "Maybe you're right. But if anyone is worth fighting for. It's her." Steve points out and I couldn't agree more. I know that I'll do anything in my power to make things right and hopefully prove to my daughter that I love her more than I can express.

After hours of waiting, too scared to even glance through the window, Cho comes out of the medical room with a solemn look, and it feels like all the air has been sucked out of the room. I feel my breathing pick up once again, the thought of not being able to fix everything with Y/n becomes suffocating. It's not until Wanda grasps my hand that I find myself zoning back in.

"H-how is s-she?" I find myself asking in a quiet, unsure voice. Cho sighs and takes the seat opposite us, her hands interlocked. "Y/n suffered a gunshot wound to her abdomen. The bullet went straight through her liver. We were required to remove part of her liver, to ensure we saved her life. This was harder with the amount of blood that she lost. However, we were able to stabilise her before repairing the damage done to her liver." She explains.

"So, she's going to be, ok?" Wanda asks to clarify. "It's going to be touch and go. She's extremely weak right now and the next couple of days are going to be critical to her recovery. If she can pull through these next few days, I believe she'll make a full recovery. Though it'll take a lot of rehab to adjust to the changes to her body." Cho confirms.

I let out a small sob, knowing that she can pull through this. I have to believe that she will make it through these next few days, and we can be there to support her through her recovery. "Will she be able to return to full field duties?" Steve asks, clearly agitating Wanda. "Really Steve. That's what you're concerned about right now?" She snaps.

He turns to look at us and I know exactly why he's asking. "The SHIELD programme is everything to Y/n. To lose it after only just achieving it, that will crush her." Steve defends. "I think she would rather be alive right now." Wanda snaps back. "You just don't want to face that the honest truth is that without this programme, Y/n will feel like she has nothing, and I hate to say it, but she won't be too happy about being alive." Steve shares, an angry, yet sad look on his face.

Wanda goes to argue back, a look of hurt washing over her face. But I hold my hand up to stop her. "He's right my love." I interrupt her, making her snap her head to me. "SHIELD was the only family she thought that she had after she believed that she didn't belong in this family anymore. It will break her if she can't carry on what she worked so hard to achieve." I admit sadly.

I lock eyes with Wanda, and I see her heartbreak even further, if that's possible. "It'll take time and a lot of hard work, but I believe that Y/n would be able to return to full duties within SHIELD." Cho chips in, reminding us all that she was still in the room. "But first, she needs to get through the next few days." She reiterates, making all of us nod.

"Can we see her?" I ask, desperate to be with her and to hold her hand. "Of course. I'll be in my office, but the nursing staff will monitor her hourly." She smiles at us and leaves us to it. I take Wanda's hand and lead her towards the door and slowly push the door open. I let out a gasp when I see my little girl led in bed. She has a tube down her throat and wires attached to so many machines.

I've seen many people in this situation. But when it's your own daughter, there aren't words to describe the pain you feel. How helpless you are to make them better. All you can do is sit and watch as you wait for fate to take its course. Praying that you get your daughter back.

I instantly move to take a seat next to her bed, taking her hand in mine and holding it tightly. I notice the bruising to her knuckles, showing she fought. It brings a small smile of pride to my face.

Wanda goes to the opposite side of the bed and gently places her hand on Y/n's head. "I'm so sorry moya Lyubov." She whispers, leaning in to press a kiss to her forehead. "We promise we're going to make things right. We are so sorry that you ever felt like you didn't belong in this family. You'll never doubt this again!" I make promise to her now, one that I will repeat when she wakes up. Because she will wake up.

Part 2

#marvel fanfiction #natasha romanoff #natasha romanoff x reader #natasha romanoff x y/n #avengers fanfiction #marvel #avengers #wanda maximoff x y/n #wanda maximoff x reader #wanda maximoff fanfiction #wanda maximoff #wandanat #wandanat x reader

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bratbby333 · 1 month

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your beauty never scared me ˚➶ ｡˚ ☁️ suguru geto

ʚɞ ⁺˖ ⸝⸝ synopsis: after having your heart broken, your best friend helps you pick up the pieces ⁺˖ ⸝⸝ content + warnings: nsfw + mdni !! fem!reader x suguru, reader was in a toxic relationship + cheated on, fwb!suguru, angst, comfort, smut, unprotected sex ⁺˖ ⸝⸝ word count: 5k (+ a smau!! woo!!) ⁺˖ ⸝⸝ author notes: pink indicates reader's pov, orange is suguru's...inspired by Will Grayson, Will Grayson by John Green <3 also this was not beta read so pls excuse any typos xx i hope yall enjoy !!

Heartache has its own special way of ruining someone…

...stripping away every ounce of self-respect you work so hard to accumulate. That’s the trouble with letting people in. The outcome is almost always undecided, left in the hands of fate or whatever the hell you believe in. Perhaps it's a moment of weakness, letting a stranger entangle themselves with every fiber of your being, see every inch of your skin, explore the darker parts of your mind– even the things you hide from yourself. Putting trust in the wrong things, the wrong people. Never knowing someone’s true intentions until you discover them in bed, in your bed, with another. When something breaks inside of you, something cynical puts the pieces back together. You are a shell of who you once were. Blame it on soul-crushing character development.

It’s hard to watch the woman you love destroy herself…

...for the sake of holding on to someone who has only ill-intent in their heart. Perhaps it’s best to remove yourself. It’s agonizing, knowing you have the ability to save her from all this. You could relieve her of the heartache, free her from the suffering. Bring her nothing but joy. She has changed, evolved, and is nearly unrecognizable now. You watch as he withers her down into nothing. That man broke her, leaving her to pick up the pieces. And the woman you see now isn’t the same one you knew all those years ago.

The cold air of December flurries around outside as your chest erupts in warmth at the sight of her name illuminating your lock screen. She asks to see you, and you’d be a fool to decline. As she’s sat before you, you take in every part of her that you missed. But she’s different now. Dull eyes, sloping shoulders, her cheekbones are sunken in as her clothes hang from her figure like it's two sizes too big. But it isn’t, you remember the day she bought that t-shirt. The soul that normally inhabits her body has been replaced with something…unrecognizable. You know it’s her, but your mind tells you otherwise. The way her voice lilts from her lips, how chillingly different she sounds while delivering the news, it’s heartbreaking.

She informs you she won’t be around much, mentioning that it will take time for her to heal from this. You pretend to be supportive of the distance she wants to place between herself and her loved ones, even though it absolutely crushes you.

There’s something peaceful about loneliness…

…only relying on yourself for company. It can be draining of course. With the few friends you do have, you make the most of it. It’s a serene feeling, private even. People perceive you however they please, but only a few trusted individuals know your ins and outs. It's refreshing.

God forbid you have to cater to someone else, especially when dating. It's hard enough having to take care of yourself. You make sure your friends know they’re loved and appreciated, of course, but the idea of inviting another person into your life; someone who demands your time and attention in order for it to work out? No thank you. It’s backfired for you many times before, you aren’t willing to go through it again. Your friends have watched you heal from heartbreak after heartbreak, each one more damning than the last. No one blames you for your cynicism, it’s understandable.

Plus, the emotional upkeep of a romantic relationship is exhausting. And the idea of meeting someone, falling for them, and it not working out in the end? Torturous. Why put yourself through all that?

“You just haven’t found the right one!”

“They’ll come around when you least expect it!”

“You gotta put yourself back out there!”

Blah, blah, blah. Not interested. There’s no room for hopeless romance in this ill-fated world. You’re not dealing with that pain anymore. Not if you can help it.

The trouble with love is that it’s cruel…

…discriminatory, even. Picking and choosing who gets to rejoice in its bliss and simultaneously alienating the unfortunate souls who suffer in its unyielding grip. You attempt to find peace in the silence of her absence, telling yourself that she’s okay, but knowing all too well that her precious heart is still shackled to someone so undeserving. You hold on to the irregular check-in’s you get from her. You hope she’s healing, and you prepare yourself for the outcome; that when she finally returns, she will not be the same person she was.

Betrayal has a pesky habit of sticking around…

…a lingering feeling that still eats away at you. The night you caught him in his infidelity, something deep within you broke. It wasn’t your heart, no, that would be too simple. It was your psyche, the core of your being. The day he left, a part of you left with him. The chemistry of your brain changed, your atomic makeup shifting toward nihilism.

So you move through life differently now. Every positive outlook you once had now cast to the wayside, replaced with unyielding suspicion in attempts to keep your heart guarded from the outside world. Hope has finally run out, the idea that there’s good in everyone proven to be a goddamn lie. You shove your desire for love into a padded safe and hide it away on a forgotten shelf in your mind. Hell, you’d burn that obnoxious feeling if you could. Run it through a meat grinder, chuck it into a volcano, nuke it. Doesn’t matter. Anything to stop it from tearing you apart. It’s not like it’s done you any good. Besides, who would want someone as damaged as you?

Part of you feels guilty…

…for sitting idly by, knowing your dear friend was hurting so deeply. But there wasn’t much you could do. You grant her space, knowing she wasn’t given that same courtesy for four years of her life. You pray she returns soon, aware that she doesn’t do well on her own. Her own mind is acting like a prison, holding her hostage, forcing her to relive her pain day in and day out. But, god damn it, you can’t take it anymore. You have been without her for so long. So you reach out, demanding she spend time with you. Self-isolation can only get you so far. It had been months since you’d seen her last. And to your surprise, she agrees.

A spring evening, 65 degrees, the setting sun…

…a gentle breeze that laps at your warm skin as you sit cross-legged on a checkered blanket. The beautiful flowers of May decorate the ground in colorful clusters. The cicadas sing while the bees are busy buzzing around. It’s a strange feeling; coping with the fact that your life has reached rock-bottom, a total stand-still as you work to heal yourself, yet life continues to move, to grow, to thrive. It’s inspiring in a way. You are accompanied by Suguru. He managed to get you out of the house after weeks of rotting away inside, anchored down by the gut wrenching feeling of heartbreak.

Laughter echoes through the park as the two of you revel in the serenity. Life feels…good. Whole. Worth living. It’s been a while since it has felt this way. It shouldn't feel strange, but it does. Happiness has become a foreign concept to you.

Sitting before you is the woman you love…

…the color in her cheeks has returned, the fullness of her face present once more. After suffering through the many months of thunder and unrelenting downpour in her mind, she has bloomed once more. Finally. You couldn’t pull your attention away from her even if you wanted to, your body and mind drawn to her in the most spiritual way. Even though she’s deep in thought, working to take in her surroundings, her beauty is still very much evident. She isn’t even aware of the power she holds– utterly entrancing. You would do anything to live in this moment forever. You’d do anything for her.

But in this moment…

…with a forgotten feeling of fulfillment creeping its way into your chest as the soft rays of the sun dance across your skin and the sounds of nature swirl through your ears, you realize something. Something so beautiful, yet so fucking terrifying. You love him. Suguru. Maybe it was just your heartache talking, connecting dots that had no business associating.

You brush it off, hide it away, and chalk it up to just being in a vulnerable moment. Your heart had been torn from your body only a few months prior. Anger still rips through your chest when you think about it. Four years wasted on someone you had placed on the highest pedestal, far higher than you placed your family, your friends…yourself. You were blindsided. In an instant, everything you had come to love, the home you felt safe in, the person you thought you knew…ripped away. Like it was nothing at all.

Suguru has done what he could to mend the wounds for you, knowing good and well that if you are left to your own devices you would spiral past the point of return. And as renewing as this spring evening is, you know you will never be the same again.

But you can’t help but fixate on the way he makes you feel. And as hard as you try to push those feelings away, they continue to bubble up. What happens when it finally reaches its boiling point?

You’re only human. You have wants, needs, and desires…

…so who do you turn to for that release? Suguru, of course. Isn’t that what friends are for?

Some would say it’s an evil thing to do; to use someone for pleasure, your own personal gain. A part of you understands that, too. Sure, it may have started out that way, but it’s shifted. And that scares the shit out of you, how you find yourself searching for his validation, the sadness you feel when he leaves in the morning after a night full of fun. So why not tell yourself that you’re just doing what you need to do, rather than what you want to do. Ignoring the fact that deep down you really fucking love it.��

It’s not like you’re taking advantage of him and the bond you share…not really, anyway. The two of you are very close, having known each other for ten years. Side by side, maneuvering through a decade of emotional ups and downs; personal dilemmas, weird family dynamics, terrible relationships, fluctuating hormones and unexpected cast changes within your friend group. But the two of you have always stayed consistent, the main characters. Your personalities mesh well, constantly riffing off one another. Never ending laughter and smiles. He's seen you at your absolute worst and vice versa. The true definition of unconditional love. So why not get a little more from him? After all this time, it feels warranted, well-deserved, even. Ignoring what you feel for him, it just makes sense that this is how it should go down. Plus, if it was such a bad idea, why would he agree?

You would accept her…

…in any way she chooses to present herself to you. After years of watching her hurt, you finally have your friend back, and there isn’t anything you wouldn't do to make her happy. Especially with guilt that you still feel, knowing there was nothing you could have done that would’ve saved her from her suffering. So when she suggests the idea of being friends with benefits, you’d be insane to deny her that. Is it a bad idea? Perhaps. You refuse her offer? She slips away, seeking refuge in the arms of another, someone who could hurt her…Never again.

You crave her so deeply that this arrangement seems perfect. Even though you dread the morning after, not wanting to leave her side…jumping on every opportunity to see her, showering her in praise every time you’re nestled deep within her warmth– the way her eyes light up at your word makes you melt. Is it possible she feels the same way? The more you think about it, the less crazy the idea seems. Would she leave you in the dust if you told her the truth? You don’t want to risk losing her. Not if you can help it. But you can’t confess your underlying intentions. Even though a deep part of you hopes for more, it doesn’t even matter at this point. Hide it. You get to be with her in a way that you never have before, and that’s enough for you…right?

.｡*ﾟ+.*.｡

It all transpired after one drunken night playing a confessional card game with your friend group. You were shit-faced and horny, and he wasn’t any better off. You’re honestly surprised his dick still worked that night, but god did it work. You didn’t expect it to go any further after that, assuming it was a one-off occasion. The two of you never really addressed what happened, either, didn’t take the time to have a real conversation about it. Just a quick “hey, do you wanna…” followed by an indifferent “yeah, why not?”, and that was that. Which is probably a good thing, because any more talking would have most likely resulted in your true feelings coming to the surface. But it happened, and is still happening, so who are you to complain? It’s perfect.

.｡*ﾟ+.*.｡

Your friends and random on-lookers alike say you’re compatible, and yeah, they might be right, but fuck that. Why risk the friendship you cherish so deeply for a title? That's idiotic. It's borderline insanity. The minute you put a label on something it all comes crashing down. So, why ruin a good thing?

Don’t overthink it. It’s nothing serious, and it never will be. You refuse to open yourself up to somebody else, someone new. No more getting hurt. You’ve let Suguru into your life in a more meaningful way than you have for anyone else. And that’s far enough.

Does he know every little thing about you? Sure.

Does he care for your well-being? Yeah.

Is he attentive, thoughtful, and supportive? Of course…it is Suguru after all.

But so what? That's what friends are for.

.｡*ﾟ+.*.｡

You and Suguru see each other frequently, at least three times a week, whether it’s just a normal hangout or…a hangout. You just get what you need and go; a good laugh, dinner and a movie, casual drinks, or a heaven-sent dick appointment. You both seem content, enjoying one another’s company and…bodies…and minds and souls.

Fuck.

It’s hard to ignore your totally natural, human need for deeper intimacy. But you try to, and damn do you try hard. It would probably be best for you to stop hooking up with Suguru and just go back to how things were.

You can’t go through this. Not again. You’ve already shifted the perfectly normal dynamic you once had into something deeper. Something…real. There’s no turning back now. So you continue to hide behind your ego, fighting off every demon known to man in hopes that this will all just go away.

You’ve been somewhat successful in suppressing your feelings, molding them into something more manageable. You are best friends, with the addition of benefits. Simple. Nothing more, nothing less. You pretend to be ignorant of Suguru's awe-inspiring beauty. How his energy is absolutely addicting, the way his lingering touch burns your skin so beautifully. He makes you feel seen for everything you are and appreciates you for everything you’re not. That sentiment alone propels you through the unexplored cosmos, crossing the line between reality and nirvana as starlight dances across your skin.

Not to mention, when you two are actually fucking? It's like two parts of the same soul finally meeting after centuries of arduous searching. You don’t know where your body stops and his begins, entangled in the most profound way.

God. You sound insane. This is no way to view a friend…your best friend, at that. Get it together.

What would you even call this? Touch starved? No, he touches you plenty…and in all the right places, too. Is it desperation? Your insatiable need for love? Karmic punishment for all your failed relationships? The corny trope where you end up falling for your best friend? As much as you want to fight against the feelings you have for him, it’s too late.

Whatever. Just play it off. You refuse to let your walls down. And you’d hate to give Suguru the satisfaction of being the one who commandeered heavy machinery and sent a wrecking ball toward your emotional fortress.

If you don’t acknowledge your feelings they’ll just cease to exist, right? Yeah, that’s how it works. And it’s a super healthy coping mechanism, too.

.｡*ﾟ+.*.｡

All this deep pondering and emotional soul searching has got you worked up. You decide to see if Suguru wants to come over. Not because you miss him, or anything. It’ll be nothing more than a casual hook up. Dick only, no feelings.

You catch yourself giggling at his messages. Gross. You brush it off with a shake of your head, a violent wave of self awareness washing over you.

I'm not going through this again. I refuse.

You read the messages over and over. Do you seem desperate? Do your texts carry the perfect amount of indifference? Whatever. It doesn’t matter, it’s just Suguru, anyway. He's stuck around this long, it would take a lot to scare him off, now.

The plan’s in motion, and you’re going to have a good time tonight. You feel your heart rate spike at the thought of seeing him. That's a totally normal reaction for someone who has no feelings involved, right? Just friends…right?

Suguru chuckles as he reads your response. Excitement floods through his body in anticipation. Is it finally time to confess? His own eagerness catches him off-guard. He can’t. It’s too soon. He takes a few deep breaths to calm his nerves. Keep it together.

.｡*ﾟ+.*.｡

It’s been so long since the feeling of joy has drifted between these barren walls. You take a swig of your drink, exhaling happily through your nose as the sweet juice dances with the sting of the liquor, warming your chest as you swallow. Leaning back on the couch with one leg kicked up on the coffee table, you absentmindedly swirl your glass as you gaze at Suguru.

“I’m really happy to see that you’re doin’ better,” he muses, taking a sip before setting his cup down. You offer him a small nod paired with a gentle smile, looking back at the drink nestled between your fingers; the ice that’s creating condensation on the outside, the way the sun seeps between the half-open curtains in your living room, the cooing of birds just beyond your window panes. Quite frankly, you’re trying your hardest to focus on anything but him. Ignoring the thrum of your heart every time you look into his eyes, pretending the smooth cadence of his voice doesn’t make your body tremble.

Say you do confess? What then? Is that really something you want, anyway? Or is it just nice to lust after someone? No, it’s not that. You really do love him. You haven’t even considered the possibility of him reciprocating these feelings, and odds are if he does, you’ll just run for the hills, not willing to open your heart up again. Your last relationship destroyed you. There’s no way you’ll allow someone to fill that void. Not with the possibility that it’ll all be a farce.

After a moment of silence, you finally speak up. “Me, too. And it’s all thanks to you, Sugu.” You finally meet his gaze, and it’s as if his eyes are attempting to pierce through you with how intently he’s looking at you. His expression quirks as if to ask what you mean. You decide to test the waters a bit. Fuck it.

“You…you’ve made me feel…whole again,” your words come out a bit choppy and drawn out, still battling with your decision to come clean. Your eyes dart around his face before looking away once more. You fiddle with your fingers, unsure of if you want to elaborate. Even if you stop here, it’s okay. That’s a totally normal thing to say to a friend who helped you in your time of need.

Your head snaps toward him at the sound of your name. More is said, but you focus on the way he addresses you. He says it so softly, so gently, like the very syllables of your title grace his tongue as they sway from in between his vocal cords. For four years, your name was used against you, weaponized with anger and hatred. But his words are relayed to you with nothing but love behind them.

Your ears are ringing as you stare at him blankly. You shake your head in hopes to clear the thoughts that are clouding it. “Wait…wha? What did you just say? The last part?”

“I said, it’s because I love you,” he smiles as he watches your face flush. Time slows as your heart rate speeds up. You brows furrow a bit, trying to piece together what the hell is going on. A million thoughts spin through your head as you stare at him. “You…love…me? Like, in a ‘best friends’ kinda way, right?” You’re shocked as he shakes his head. “No. I love you, and I have for a while. In a more than friends kinda way,” he laughs a bit before leaning forward, reaching for your hand. “You love me, too. Don’t you?”

“I-” your words get caught in your throat as his fingers rub against the back of your hand. As calm and collected as Suguru seems on the outside, he is spiraling on the inside. He isn’t sure where this newfound confidence is coming from, but he decides to roll with it. His heart thrums in his chest as he anxiously awaits your response. He has reached his tipping point, wanting nothing more than to finally be able to call you his.

You look down, staring at the place where the two of you meet, the feeling of electricity coursing through your body. A chill runs down your spine before you look back at him. “I-I do. I love you.”

.｡*ﾟ+.*.｡

You’re laying on your back, your hair fanned out across the bed. Your arms are wrapped tight around his neck as he gently thrusts into you with slow, deep ruts of his hips. His head is tucked into the crook of your neck, his warm breath brushing across your sensitive skin.

He leans back, looking down at you with a sweet smile, “You are so beautiful.” His eyes run up and down your body, taking in every dip and curve of your figure, before fixating on where the two of you meet. His lips part as he watches himself disappear inside of you, a deep moan breaking through his chest at the sight of your sweet juices coating his length. He rubs intricate circles into your clit, loving the way you sound as your body writhes under his touch.

Tears begin to pool behind your eyes as you gaze up at him, entranced by the way he manages to stimulate every sense in your body. This is what love truly feels like, bestowed upon you by a man who wants nothing more than to fulfill every facet of your life.

He presses his forehead against yours as he continues to pump into you, his movements influenced by nothing more than pure adoration.

The sun bounces off your features, illuminating your face in such an ethereal way. His breath catches in his throat as he watches the way the light makes your eyes glow. You are angelic in every sense of the word. Someone too pure for this realm, unfathomably delicate; sent to this world to be worshiped and protected.

“I love you. So much,” he groans. Every ounce of devotion he has for you is being pumped into your body with every plunge. It’s overwhelming for him. He's nearly bursting at the seams as he makes love to you, moving his hips so tantalizingly slow, but wanting to thrust into you with fervor, to pound the message into you that you are deserving of all love in the world, and that he will be the one to give it to you. But he takes his time, wanting nothing more than to savor you.

Small whimpers break through your throat. “I…ahh!– I love you, S-Suguru,” you moan, whining as his head brushes into your sweet spot, making your back arch off the bed as your chest presses into his. The pleasure raking through you is immeasurable, every neuron in your brain firing off at once. You wrap your legs around his waist, pulling him closer, desperate to feel every single part of him.

He cups the sides of your cheeks, brushing away your tears before placing two soft kisses over each eye. “Why’re you cryin’, my love?” he coos, concern evident on his face as he rubs his thumbs against your face. His hips pause as his eyes dart between yours.

“Just…’m just so happy,” you whisper, scrunching your nose up with a small sniffle before placing a kiss on his lips. He smiles deeply before returning to his original pace.

“You deserve it...just wanna make you feel good, baby,” his hips press him into the deepest parts of you, rubbing against your sweet, gushing walls, but his pace remains deliberate. “You deserve all the pleasure in the world,” his teeth grit ever so slightly as he feels you clench down on him. “F-fuck, baby… fuck. You are just... incredible,” he groans, angling his hips to keep brushing against your g spot.

Even though you’ve had each other many times before, no other instance compares to the way you feel right now. Your body brimming with love, fulfillment…with him. His touch makes you feel reborn, like no one has ever hurt you before. His hands glide across your skin, leaving a trail of warmth in their wake, his unyielding passion evident in the way he clings to you, and you to him.

“Sugu…” you gasp as he bottoms out once more. Short pants leave your lips as you feel the tightness in your stomach intensify. “P-please, keep goin’...I’m…gonna cum,” you mewl. His hands reach underneath your body, palming each asscheek as he lifts your lower half off the bed. The new angle makes your eyes roll as stars begin to dance around your head. “Me too…y’feel so fuckin’ good.” The fiction of his pelvis against your clit shoots ripples of pleasure through you. Your nails drag down his back in an attempt to ground yourself, but to no avail. This feels otherworldly. His pace picks up a bit, pushing you to unravel, your body succumbing to bliss. The warmth that engulfs his lengths makes him reach his peak right after you, his hips stuttering as he works you both through your orgasms.

He props himself up on his forearms, making a conscious effort to not collapse on you and crush you with his body weight, though you would most definitely welcome it. He watches as your chest rises and falls, every soft pant that leaves your lips like music to his yearning ears. He can’t bring himself to pull out, loving the way your walls are still spasming around him. You stare into his eyes for a moment, running your fingers down his spine. A gentle moment of silence settles between to two of you. No words are spoken, but they don't need to be.

He begins to get up, but your legs lock around his waist immediately, resheathing him inside of you. “Baby–”, he begins to object, but your arms wrap around his shoulders once more, pulling him down as you kiss the spot below his ear, “Jus’ a few more minutes. Love having you like this.”

A deep chuckle rumbles from his chest as he smiles into the crook of your neck. “You keep this up and we might just have to go again.”

And you do. For hours and hours, attempting to make up for all the years wasted. Your two souls engaging in the most mesmerizing dance. He is determined to replace all the heartache you feel with pleasure. And he does. You feel nothing but him. And he can’t focus on anything other than you. Rolling around together until the golden hue of the setting sun shifts into a light pink as it rises above the horizon. But it feels like no time has passed at all.

Suguru draws soft circles into your skin, holding you tight against his sweat-glistened chest. Your body trembles from the copious amount of pleasure coursing through you. A gentle peck is placed on the top of your head before he looks toward the ceiling. A sense of contentment washes over him, dancing with the soft pulse of his many orgasms still reverberating through his body. After years of waiting, you are finally his, and he is determined to grant you your well-deserved peace.

Dawning a robe, you sit on your balcony, listening to the birds sing you their habitual 'good morning'. The door slides open behind you, and Suguru takes a seat, presenting you with a cup of tea. A quiet thank you leaves your lips as the two of you take in the scenery before you.

“We should probably get some sleep now, huh?” You ask, turning to him as you take a sip, smiling at the fact that he knows exactly how you take your tea. But, of course he does. It’s Suguru.

He grins, “No…I don’t want to leave this moment behind just yet.” You blush, reaching your hand out to grasp his.

“Me neither.”

In his eyes, you are precious, the most important person in his life. The deep-rooted fear of not being worthy of love is disproven in the form of Suguru’s undying loyalty to you. He has waited years to be with you, and he would have waited years more. And as the two of you sit together, with your fingers intertwined and heartbeats in sync, you know there is nowhere else you want to be…no one else you want to be with. An unfamiliar feeling of safety creeps into your chest. You’re in good hands now.

Maybe opening yourself back up to love wasn’t such a bad idea, after all.

author notes: this fic is incredibly self-serving...but i really needed this. i just want a pretty boy named suguru to save me from the heartache i feel rn ugh

my reqs are closed at the moment, but thirsts and chats are always welcome !!

alsoooo !! i just wanted to send out a big big thank you for 700 followers...im literally in shock i cannot believe it. im spinning around my room rn just thinking abt it. yall are amazing n i appreciate every single one of you 🫶🏼

tag list: @anxious-chick @call-memissbrightside @the-weeb-of-the-uchiha @sadmonke

likes, reblogs, and comments are always greatly appreciated !!

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physalian · 3 months

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You don’t have to pay for that fancy worldbuilding program

As mentioned in this post about writing with executive dysfunction, if one of your reasons to keep procrastinating on starting your book is not being able to afford something like World Anvil or Campfire, I’m here to tell you those programs are a luxury, not a necessity: Enter Google Suite (not sponsored but gosh I wish).

MS Office offers more processing power and more fine-tuning, but Office is expensive and only autosaves to OneDrive, and I have a perfectly healthy grudge against OneDrive for failing to sync and losing 19k words of a WIP that I never got back.

Google’s sync has never failed me, and the Google apps (at least for iPhone) aren’t nearly as buggy and clunky as Microsoft’s. So today I’m outlining the system I used for my upcoming fantasy novel with all the helpful pictures and diagrams. Maybe this won’t work for you, maybe you have something else, and that’s okay! I refuse to pay for what I can get legally for free and sometimes Google’s simplicity is to its benefit.

The biggest downside is that you have to manually input and update your data, but as someone who loves organizing and made all these willingly and for fun, I don’t mind.

So. Let’s start with Google Sheets.

The Character Cheat Sheet:

I organized it this way for several reasons:

I can easily see which characters belong to which factions and how many I have named and have to keep up with for each faction

All names are in alphabetical order so when I have to come up with a new name, I can look at my list and pick a letter or a string of sounds I haven’t used as often (and then ignore it and start 8 names with A).

The strikethrough feature lets me keep track of which characters I kill off (yes, I changed it, so this remains spoiler-free)

It’s an easy place to go instead of scrolling up and down an entire manuscript for names I’ve forgotten, with every named character, however minor their role, all in one spot

Also on this page are spare names I’ll see randomly in other media (commercials, movie end credits, etc) and can add easily from my phone before I forget

Also on this page are my summary, my elevator pitch, and important character beats I could otherwise easily mess up, it helps stay consistent

*I also have on here not pictured an age timeline for all my vampires so I keep track of who’s older than who and how well I’ve staggered their ages relative to important events, but it’s made in Photoshop and too much of a pain to censor and add here

On other tabs, I keep track of location names, deities, made-up vocabulary and definitions, and my chapter word count.

The Word Count Guide:

*3/30 Edit to update this chart to its full glory. Column 3 is a cumulative count. Most of what I write breaks 100k and it's fun watching the word count rise until it boils over.

This is the most frustrating to update manually, especially if you don’t have separate docs for each chapter, but it really helps me stay consistent with chapter lengths and the formula for calculating the average and rising totals is super basic.

Not that all your chapters have to be uniform, but if you care about that, this little chart is a fantastic visualizer.

If you have multiple narrators, and this book does, you can also keep track of how many POVs each narrator has, and how spread out they are. I didn’t do that for this book since it’s not an ensemble team and matters less, but I did for my sci-fi WIP, pictured below.

As I was writing that one, I had “scripted” the chapters before going back and writing out all the glorious narrative, and updated the symbols from “scripted” to “finished” accordingly.

I also have a pie chart that I had to make manually on a convoluted iPhone app to color coordinate specifically the way I wanted to easily tell who narrates the most out of the cast, and who needs more representation.

—

Google Docs

Can’t show you much here unfortunately but I’d like to take an aside to talk about my “scene bits” docs.

It’s what it says on the tin, an entire doc all labeled with different heading styles with blurbs for each scene I want to include at some point in the book so I can hop around easily. Whether they make it into the manuscript or not, all practice is good practice and I like to keep old ideas because they might be useful in unsuspecting ways later.

Separate from that, I keep most of my deleted scenes and scene chunks for, again, possible use later in a “deleted scenes” doc, all labeled accordingly.

When I designed my alien language for the sci-fi series, I created a Word doc dictionary and my own "translation" matrix, for easy look-up or word generation whenever I needed it (do y'all want a breakdown for creating foreign languages? It's so fun).

Normally, as with my sci-fi series, I have an entire doc filled with character sheets and important details, I just… didn’t do that for this book. But the point is—you can still make those for free on any word processing software, you don’t need fancy gadgets.

—

I hope this helps anyone struggling! It doesn’t have to be fancy. It doesn’t have to be expensive. Everything I made here, minus the aforementioned timeline and pie chart, was done with basic excel skills and the paint bucket tool. I imagine this can be applicable to games, comics, what have you, it knows no bounds!

Now you have one less excuse to sit down and start writing.

#writing advice #writing resources #writing tips #writing tools #writing a book #writing #writeblr #organizing your book #outlining #shut up and write the book #google sheets #google docs

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lure-of-writing · 2 months

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His little sister

Summary: Azriel point of view of the things you do as Rhysands little sister (This should be read only after reading all in a days work and knock before you enter otherwise it probably won't make any sense as you need the know what happened in the other two for this to make sense )

word count: 2.5 k

Note: Hello! For a while I was stumped on how to continue the little sister series so boom! I present to you Azriel's pov. I would love to hear what you guys think about having things from this perspective also! please don't be shy and let me know!

The playful touches and not so subtle glances across the room paired with the seductive bit of your lip as it lifts into a forbidden smile is not lost upon the spymaster of the night court. In fact everything you did never went unnoticed by him. As Rhysands little sister he was more or less forbidden from having any relationship with you that was purely platonic or sibling-like. Much to the high lord's irritation, once you learned of the rules set in place for the general and the shadow singer, you had made it your own personal mission to see just how much you could get away with. Just how far could you bend the rules before your older brother snapped?

Azriel was well aware of the game you played in hopes of causing your brother a small amount of distress. Unfortunately for him, he respected his high lord and his wishes to much to counter your advances with some of his own but that doesn’t mean he can’t help you accomplish your lifes works of making your brother rub his temples with a long sigh and a shot of whiskey or which ever bottle of alcohol appeared before him first.

It had been just a few short weeks after your fifteenth birthday when you had learned about the guidelines Rhys had set for the two other males in your family. Being told what to do never sat well with you, neither did being told who you can and can’t do things with. At first your reaction was to find your brother and argue with him until he couldn’t think straight but when you were on the way to his office you bumped into your favorite member of the bat boys. Azriel was leaning against the wall of Rhysands office waiting for his meeting with Helion when you were stuck with a brilliant idea. “Az?” his hazel eyes shifted from the dark oak doors to where you stood in the middle of the hall. “Yes?” as soon as the word had left his mouth he knew you were up to something. It was the way your eyes lit up in excitement and you shuffled over to him with hurried steps. Huddled close to his body you beaconed him to lean down so you could whisper in his ears. Wordlessly he follows your commands. “Would you like to help me make Rhys question why he was blessed with being my brother?”

The sly smile and trouble that brewed in your eyes was enough to get him to say yes. Not like he could ever say no to you in the first place but that wasn’t important. From that moment on he would allow you to flirt with him and crawl into his lap with no rejection. This drove Rhysand up a wall. He said that they could not try to flirt with you but you never said anything about it being the other way around and you had taken full advantage of that each and every single time the opportunity presented itself.

Family dinners amongst the inner circle were never an uncommon thing but since everything that transpired over the last fifty something years had the family dinners becoming a more common tradition. After dinner talks and catching up had been moved to the living room. Silently Azriel sat by himself, listening to his family talk. Perfectly content with listening rather than speaking. While Cassian went on this third rant about why he was certain that he could fight Bryaxis, if and big if here, they weren’t so scary looking, when you had gotten up from where you were sat next to Mor on the floor. He watched as you left the room and not even a second later his shadows informed him that you were getting another wine.

His attention shifted from his brother onto you when you had reentered the room with a glass full of wine and strutted over to him and made yourself comfortable in his lap. Az would never admit it but the feeling of your arm draped over his shoulder and playing with his hair was one of his favorite feelings in the world. As your body leaned into his, the temperate difference between the two of you became very apparent to the shadowsinger. Without thinking he placed his much warmer hand on your freezing and goosebump covered leg to help warm you back up. The slit in your dress had done nothing to help keep you warm.

Without saying anything he watched as his brother marched his way over to where you had chosen to sit, also known as Azriels lap. He watched as Rhys reached his hand out in hopes of pulling you off of closest friend and he watched as Rhysands face morphed into one of confusion to anger as Azriels wings furled around you to keep your brother from grabbing you from him. If there was one thing that the shadowsinger knew with one hundred percent certainty, it was that you could handle yourself. The context didn’t matter, you could always handle yourself. So while you and your brother went back and front he mindlessly began to rub comforting circles where his hand had found purchase on your leg. And once Rhysand had made his way back to his mate, he had leaned down and pressed his lips against your hairline. “You are a menace” giggling you smile up at him before shrugging and taking a sip of your forgotten wine.

Visiting the court of nightmares was never something that brought Azriel much joy. More often than not he was watching for any threats against his high lord's life, now he had to worry about his high lady also. It wasn’t as if Azriel wasn’t capable of handling such a task but when you had revealed that you would also be in attendance, it brought Azriel another level of stress. He knew that you could handle the court politics and the volleyball of words sent back and forth with hidden messages. Hell you had even been trained by all three males and Morrgian. You were more than capable of looking out for yourself but there has always been a part of Azriel that couldn’t rest when he knew you could be in danger at any moment.

Now the notoriously quiet male, while known for not saying much, always had something to say when it came to you. There was no comment too small that you made that didn’t get an answer from Az in return. As you finally made your way down the staircase to your awaiting family Azriel had just about a thousand thoughts and compliments he could give you at any moment. While your brother had a meltdown in the background all Azriel could focus on was you and as you made your way down the last few steps he reached his hand out helping you the rest of the way down. Shamelessly he looked you up and down not caring that your brother just might beat his ass for looking at you in such an outfit. Once his eyes reached your, you sent him a wink and beaming smile. Az could tell that you had wanted to ask him what he thought of your clothing choices but decided that dealing with your brother would be the best idea before he dragged you back up the stairs himself and forced you to change.

While at the place of nightmares the shadows that sung to Azriel hung close to his body, only leaving to secretly watch over you and make sure you were ok. For most of the night all was well, at least as well as things can get in the court of nightmares. That was until his shadow came back to inform their master of the predicament that had presented itself to you. He watched from afar as you pushed your way out of the crowd and towards himself. Pushing off of the pillar he was once perched against he made his way towards you. Az’s blood began to boil when he watched the random fae male wrap his arms around your waist and pulled your body into his. In two long strides he was in front of the strange male and yourself, demanding he release his grip on you or he would do it for him. There wasn’t a part of Azriel that enjoyed the violence he brings upon those he was tasked with gathering information from but holding truth teller to the male's neck did in fact bring him joy.

Upon your release he guided you back to where he was previously standing to make sure you were ok and that the random male didn’t inflict any harm to you. After his thorough evaluation of your body met his standards he returned his gaze to meet your and suddenly your cold hand was pressed against his warm cheek and the burn of the two temperatures had never felt so nice before. Once again your hand had found its resting place in his hair and your lips on his and Azriel swore hes never felt something as soft as your lips on his. As soon as your lips had met his, Az knew he was in for a whole world of pain when Rhysand got his hands on him but he couldn’t find it in himself to care.

Az recently pulled away when he felt the anger of his high lord coming at him with the purpose of making him bow to the power radiating off of Rhysand. “We should probably get out of here before he kills you.” looking down he saw the mischief twinkling in your eyes and he positive nobody can pull off that look quite like you can. The wink you sent over your shoulder as you grab his hand pulls him out of the trance you had put him in. Willingly Azriel followed your lead out of the ball room while you bumped into his arm periodically. “Honestly he just might kill us both.” he felt you mumble into his shoulder as you hid your face and laughter in his body. Chuckling he couldn’t help but agree before winnowing you back to the house of wind.

After Rhyand had actually considered beating the shadowsinger to a pulp your usual antics had dwindled in frequency which saddened Azriel more than he was willing to admit. During training you kept clear of him in case your brother didn’t approve of you even looking in his general direction and it had been almost two weeks since he had last talked to you for more then five minutes and honestly it was starting to drive him crazy. After a family dinner consisting of you, Nesta, Cassiand and himself he finally approached you. “You're going to the Summer court tomorrow right?” As the resident know-it-all he already knew your answer but he waited nonetheless “Yes?” Azriel watches as you place your book in your lap to give him your full attention and he swears he could bask in it forever. “I’m not doing anything for the next week, would you like me to go with you?” The beaming smile you sent him was confirmation enough.

That's how he found himself in your room the next morning helping you get ready. You had asked his opinion on basically every piece of your outfit and Azriel had never been so happy to assist someone put together their clothes for the day. After you had pulled all the needed pieces of clothing from your closest you held up the corset you picked for him to see. “I’ll need your help putting this on.” And that's how once again Azriel feared Rhys would consider pummeling him once more.

Not once during Rhysands withering glare did Azriel stop pulling the strings of your corset until they were tight enough and only then did he gently pull the strings into a bow before removing his hands from your body. After finishing his assigned task Az thought it was best to leave the siblings to deal with each other and he would wait for you on the rooftop to begin your journey to the summer court. Only after he could assume was a long lecture from your older brother on being safe did the two of you join him on the roof. “I swear if a single hair on her head is out of place I will kill you.” As much as Azriel wanted to laugh at the worn out sound of his friend he simply nodded his head before acknowledging what he said.

The week in the summer court with you felt more like two days. Any time with you never felt like enough. On the way back Rhysand had talked to him and you that he wanted a debrief before you did anything upon your return. Gently he set you back on the ground once he had landed in front of the river house and he already missed the feeling of your body on his. He really wished and in that moment that he never agreed to those rules Rhysand had set for him and Cassian all those hundred of years ago.

The silence that engulfed the room would make anyone who didn’t know the two males squirm from how uncomfortable it was, but these two males had dealt with much more stressful problems and had sat in more silence than the average people did. Azriel knew that lately your antic had been pushing the line but he had never stopped you nor had he ever thought too. Mainly because he didn’t want you too but also in fear that if he asked you to stop you would never come to him again. “Truly Rhys there is nothing going on between me and your sister. You and I both know she only does this to get under your skin and she does that very well. As long as it bothers you then she will keep doing it. You know this.”

After a long and much needed talk Azriel made his way to the stand outside of the river house collecting a much needed breath of fresh air while he came to terms with his conversation with his oldest friend. A few moments pass before you come waltzing out of the house as if you had accomplished some great mission. “Maybe next time he’ll knock” Azriel knew exactly what you were talking about and couldn’t help but laugh at what you said. He didn’t need to ask you what you did as the one shadow that always kept you company told him all about what you had just done to your brother and his poor unsuspecting mate. Without another word Azriel scooped you into his arm while pressing a gentle kiss to your temple. Gods he wished this wouldn’t be the last time he felt your skin against his lips.

Rhysand had asked him to put a stop to your behavior towards him. Not that you made the shadowsinger uncomfortable, gods no, you could never do that. It was just you were your brother's pride and joy and he refused to let the males he considered his brothers to be the reason your heart broke. Rhysand would never be able to forgive or look at Azriel the same and he knew that. Azriel just wished the golden string tying the two of you together didn’t have to be hidden from everyone including you.

Taglist: @kemillyfreitas @gorlillaglue25 @willowpains

#acotar imagine #acotar x reader #acotar x you #azriel acotar #azriel x reader #azriel fanfic #azriel imagine #azriel one shot #azriel shadowsinger #azriel angst #rhysand x sister!reader

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rxmqnova · 5 months

Text

Misunderstanding

NO ONE'S POV "Natty, no" Y/N whines, holding her girlfriend tightly and not wanting to let go of her.

"Baby, we're doing this almost every morning" Natasha sighs, trying to peel Y/N off of herself. She wants to go for a run, but Y/N just doesn't want to let her.

"Why can't you just skip one time, cuddle with us and then have breakfast with us?" Y/N asks, a sigh escaping her lips when Natasha gets out of her hold.

"I will cuddle with you two after my run, I promise. I'll see you soon" The redhead smiles, pecking Y/N's lips, then walking over to the other side of the bed and kissing still sleeping Wanda's forehead.

And she's gone, making Y/N let out a little groan, so she cuddles up to Wanda, the witch unconsciously wrapping her arms around her immediately.

After a while of cuddling and waking Wanda up, the two change from their pajamas and make their way to the kitchen for breakfast.

"Pancakes?" Wanda suggests, knowing her girlfriend never says no to that, smiling when Y/N nods eagerly.

Wanda gets into making pancakes immediately, Y/N trying to help her as best as she can and soon the breakfast is ready, so they sit down and get into eating.

Though Y/N suddenly starts looking at Wanda, deep in her thoughts, thinking about a conversation she had with Wanda yesterday while chewing on a piece of pancake.

"You should dye it" Y/N says all of a sudden, her full mouth making it all sound differently.

Wanda's been thinking about dying her hair red. She knows Y/N has a thing for redheads and she kinda wants some change as well.

Although Y/N's sentence sounded more like 'you should diet', making Wanda just stare at her girlfriend, wondering if she's serious or not.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" Y/N furrows her brows in confusion when Wanda sends her a glare.

But that question makes Wanda even more angry and hurt, so she just stands up and leaves without a word.

"Wanda, what's wrong? Come back!" Y/N calls after her girlfriend completely confused, wondering what in the world has just happened that it made her girlfriend upset. "Did I say anything wrong?" She asks herself.

———

Ever since this morning, Wanda's been avoiding Y/N which is hard for both of them and Y/N's still completely confused about what she did wrong.

"Hey, do you know what's up with Wanda? She's acting weird" Natasha sighs, flopping down on the couch next to Y/N who's watching a movie right now.

"I have no idea. She's mad ever since I told her she should dye her hair this morning. I mean… she's wanted to dye her hair, so I don't know what's gotten into her" Y/N sighs, resting her head on Natasha's shoulder.

"I'm gonna go talk to her" Natasha decides, pecking Y/N's lips with a kiss before standing up.

"Can you ask her if she wants to watch The Dick Van Dyke Show with me? I know it's her favorite and I feel like watching it" Y/N asks. She feels bad that Wanda's avoiding her for whatever reason and this might make it up at least a little bit.

"Sure, I'll ask her" Natasha shoots her girlfriend a quick smile before turning around, ready to walk away.

"And you come watch too! You promised me cuddles this morning!" Y/N calls after the redhead, making Natasha chuckle.

"Sure, детка!" Natasha calls back on which Y/N smiles and gets into looking for Wanda's favorite episode of the sitcom. (baby)

While Y/N's busy with finding the right episode, Natasha just stepped into her shared room with Wanda and Y/N, finding Wanda sitting on the bed and reading a book.

"Hey, Y/N's asking if you want to watch The Dick Van Dyke Show with her?" Natasha starts, taking a seat on the bed next to her girlfriend.

"I do not. And you can tell her she's sleeping on the couch tonight" Wanda answers coldly, not taking her eyes off of the book.

"Oh… What did she do?" Natasha asks, confusion written all over her face.

"She was being mean this morning. She told me I should diet" Wanda simply answers.

"Diet? She told me you got mad when she told you to dye your hair" Natasha explains.

"She never said anything about hair. She just said 'you should diet'" Wanda reasons, her eyebrows also furrowing in confusion.

"Why don't we just ask her then?" Natasha suggests, standing up and holding her hand out for Wanda who groans and accepts her girlfriend's hand, following her to the living room.

"Oh, you're here. I found Wanda's favorite episode" Y/N smiles at both her girlfriends, her eyebrows furrowing when she notices the expressions on both girls' faces. "What's wrong?"

"Y/N, did you tell Wanda she should diet this morning?" Natasha asks, breaking the akward silence as Wanda hasn't been doing anything but glaring at the girl on the couch.

"What? I never said that. Why would I tell her that?" Y/N looks at the redhead confused.

"You did! You said 'you should diet' when we were having breakfast" Wanda scoffs, crossing her arms over her chest.

"I never said that! I told you to dye your hair and then you got mad and went away! I never said anything about a diet!" Y/N defends herself, also crossing her arms over her chest.

"…. Honey, you were talking with full mouth again, weren't you?" Natasha raises an eyebrow, assuming she found the issue.

"No?… Okay, maybe" Y/N admits, knowing this bad habit she has ever since she was just a little girl.

"See, mystery is solved" Natasha sighs in relief, hoping the two will be okay again and she can peacefully watch TV with both of them.

"… Were you really talking about my hair?" Wanda asks after a while of thinking, playing with the sleeves of her hoodie which she does every time she's nervous.

"Yeah. I think red hair would suit you" Y/N smiles, standing up and walking to the brunette, taking Wanda's hands in hers. "Wands, I love everything about you and I'd never want to make you feel insecure about your body or anything. I love every single thing about you"

"… I'm sorry. It just sounded differently and I got so mad and-"

"Hey, it's okay. How about the three of us just snuggle up on the couch and watch your favorite episode of your favorite sitcom?" Y/N suggests, holding one hand for Natasha so she would join them.

"Well, but that sounds like a great plan" Wanda smiles, leaning in and pecking Y/N's lips with a kiss. "I love you"

"I love you too… both of you"

----------------------

WandaNat masterlist

Masterlist

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reidmotif · 10 months

Text

Double-Booked for the Night

Summary: Reader and Spencer have been double-booked by JJ for a night of babysitting. What happens when the situation brings out some buried feelings from both parties?

Prompt: JJ accidentally double booked a babysitter for Henry. You both end up staying, and after watching the kids all night, he can't help but want you.

Couple: Spencer Reid/Fem!Reader

Category: Smut/Fluff

Content Warning: Spencer POV, coworkers to lovers, oral sex (f receiving), dirty talk, he picks her up, heavy making-out, unprotected sex, shades of breeding

Word Count: 7.7k

In my time at the BAU, I had grown accustomed to the many changes it had brought to my life. I’d been made part of a world where long hours, serial killers, and few hours of sleep were the standard, and despite what anyone had to say about it, I had yet to truly hate my job. There were times where I couldn’t fathom that this was my life, that I was being made to peer into the minds of prolific serial killers at any given day, and expected to come out fine after, but for every negative this job brought, there was always one overwhelming positive.

My team.

If you got me tipsy enough, though, I’d probably end up babbling about the girl I’d come to know in the years I’d been here. (Y/N).

If you got me a little drunker, I’d probably end up whining about how in the aforementioned years I’d been here, we’d never made a move on each other, despite the obvious chemistry. Part of me just wanted to mitigate the tension that had been building for ages, pull her into some darkened hallway and kiss her senseless. Unfortunately, I was aware of the consequences that would come from acting so rashly, and so for both our sakes, I held back.

Thankfully, there were a thousand things to distract me from my crush on the agent, and one of those things was JJ’s adorable son. Apart from being his godfather, my known lack of a relationship among the team caused me to become the resident babysitter for the Jareau-LaMontagne household.

It was always wonderful to lend a helping hand to one of my closest friends at the BAU, and let her and her husband get out of the house once in a while, but it was even more of an added bonus that Henry was absolutely adorable, and had honestly stolen my heart. I’d make my way to JJ and Will’s house, opening the door to be greeted by the blonde boy, who was always equally as excited to see me. I’d grown fond of him, and genuinely looked forward to whatever time we’d end up spending together.

Which is why, when I’d come around to JJ’s house on a Friday night at her request, it was a little staggering to not see a head of blonde hair running to cling to my legs, but rather the coworker that had been plaguing my thoughts everyday for nearly three years at that point. It took me a second to focus on the actual situation at hand, as I was momentarily stunned into silence over how she appeared before me. She looked so casual, her hair loosely strung about, with a big hoodie and yoga pants enveloping her figure. She looked cozy, and warm- a noticeable change from the professional work attire I’d become accustomed to seeing her in. It was nice. And it briefly stopped my brain for a second. It took me about five seconds before I remembered where I was, meeting her confused expression with mine.

“(Y/N)?” I started. “What are you doing here?” I watched her keep the door open, whilst I raised my own eyebrow.

“Babysitting for Henry, what are you..?” She replied, knitting her brows a bit.

“Babysitting for Henry.” I responded, a little incredulously.

“But JJ asked me..?” She started, when I interrupted her.

“Will asked me.” I said, and she nodded knowingly, realizing what had happened.

“They double booked us.” She said, with a chuckle.

God, she was so beautiful when she laughed like that.

“Yeah, they did, didn’t they?” I say, rubbing the back of my neck, a little self consciously with a stupid smile plastered on my face.

I couldn’t help but watch the little crinkle that formed at the sides of her eyes as she smiled affectionately at my remark. She had this way of making my insides turn to goo with a simple look, and at this moment, that was exactly how I was feeling. The way my body reacted to her came about naturally, and it was almost impossible to keep under wraps, even in moments like this. She gave me an adorable grin, laughing with me about the absurdity of the situation.

“I guess I’ll.. go then.” I say with a chuckle, looking down at her. “JJ and Will only need one babysitter, and you’re already here..” I reason, gesturing to her standing at the door.

“Yeah, I.. suppose you’re right.” She says, giving me another one of her small smiles.

“I’ll see you at work then?” I say, a little awkwardly. Her hands twitched as they approached the doorknob, and I could feel it again. The absolute strain that seemed to reside between us. The manner in which her gaze connected with mine. The way she seemed to linger a little too close to me instead of the handle of the door. It was so obvious we were denying what we wanted from each other, and it felt so ridiculous. I could feel myself letting out a breath, stepping away before I did anything stupid, until I heard a barreling of little steps hurtling towards me.

“Uncle Spencer!” Henry cried, pushing past (Y/N), who nearly toppled over as the boy sprang at my legs. I steadied myself by grabbing onto the frame on the door, my smile returning as I reached down to hug him.

“Hey! Henry.” I say, ruffling the boy’s hair affectionately and bending down to meet his eye-level. “How are you doing?”

“Auntie (Y/N) was about to put on a movie for us.” Henry says, smiling brightly and already attempting to tug me into the house. “Come watch!”

“Aww, Henry.” I say, giving him a little frown. “I can’t, I’m sorry though.” I say, gently. “You should watch with Auntie (Y/N) though!” I say, smiling and looking up at her from my place on the floor. My gaze softened a bit as I noticed the unmistakable trace of blush on her cheeks, but my attention was quickly turned back to Henry, feeling another tug from him.

“You don’t wanna watch with us?” He says, with the biggest puppy-dog eyes I’d ever seen.

“Henry..” I start with an apologetic tone, about to explain that I really couldn’t impose, even if deep down, I secretly wanted to, if not to spend time with him, but her.

“You can stay, you know?” She interjects from above us, and I look up at her, displaying my confused smile.

“Really?” I say, raising my eyebrows at her, as I stood back up to face her. “You’d be okay with that?” I say, still keeping my eyes locked on hers.

“I mean, I don’t think I’d not take up the offer of more help with him.” She says, chuckling a bit as she crossed her arms and leaned up against the door frame.

I looked at Henry once more, grinning. I asked him, “Would you be okay with that, buddy?”

Henry nodded excitedly, already pulling me into the house with his little hands. “Auntie (Y/N) put on a movie for me.” He continued adorably, a bounce in his step as he guided me to the couch.

I smiled at Henry as he led me to the living room, some children’s movie I didn’t recognize playing on the screen. I could hear (Y/N) following us after closing the front door and as I sat down, she smiled at me again.

“It’s actually kind of a miracle you showed up when you did.” She says to me, a light giggle escaping from her lips. “I had no idea how I was going to get dinner out and watch him at the same time.” She explained, as Henry made his way next to me, getting comfortable.

“Ah, you know.” I say, shrugging and laughing nonchalantly, opening my arms to allow Henry to lean against me. “Always happy to help. Especially if it involves this little guy.” I ruffled his hair and heard a little chuckle against me from the boy, as I kept my eyes on her, flashing her a soft smile.

Henry grinned at that, as he excitedly started talking about the movie that was playing, wildly gesticulating as he attempted to explain what I’d missed since I’d entered the room. I nodded, but out of the corner of my eye I saw (Y/N) enter the kitchen, presumably to prepare Henry’s dinner. I heard and saw her rustling about the kitchen in small flashes, and a small smile graced my face at the sight of her. It was silly, but I rarely got to see this side of her. She looked so calm and laid-back, and it was a welcomed change, one that brought a certain warmth to my chest just from the look of it.

I watched her for a few more moments, before turning my full attention back to Henry. I listened to him, nodding like I totally understood everything he was saying, even if he was talking fifty words a minute and stumbling over his speech every step of the way. Regardless, I loved him. Loved spending time with him, and that was only made better when I saw (Y/N) approach us in the living room, plopping down next to Henry with a plate of lasagna.

“Okay, I know Mommy doesn’t usually let you eat in front of the TV.. so this’ll be our secret, okay?” She said, a playful glint in her eye as she carefully handed the plate to Henry. “But you gotta promise me one thing.”

Henry nodded excitedly. She spoke with mock seriousness to him, pursing her lips and nodding. “You gotta promise me you’re gonna finish everything off your plate, alright?” It wasn’t even a question, as Henry nodded, happily agreeing with her, and digging into the food she’d brought. She sat back, looking satisfied with herself. I couldn’t help but smile to myself at the sight. She was always kind at work, and it wasn’t surprising that she was good with kids, but I never expected her to be this good. She fit into the role naturally, and it sent a feeling of endearment through me as I watched her speak to Henry.

Henry ate quietly between the two of us as I watched the TV, but in actuality my mind was completely focused on her. The softness in her actions towards Henry, the tenderness in her eyes as she dealt with him. It was truly having an effect on me, and in a moment of weakness I allowed myself to get wrapped up in a fantasy involving her, me and a child of our own. It was insane! I’d never even kissed the girl before, but watching her like this made me desperately long for a situation in which we had a family together, a concept I had been yearning for privately, only exacerbated by the wonderful woman in front of me.

It seemed I’d gotten a little too lost in my thoughts, because I felt Henry tugging at my shoulder, and I blinked, realizing he’d been trying to get my attention for a few seconds now. “Uncle Spencer!” He whined, and I looked at him with a stir.

“Ah, sorry Henry! Got really into the movie.” I say, feeling my cheeks heat up a bit as I ran my hands through my hair. “What’s up?”

“Can you help me wash my hands?” He asked, in his little voice, and I laughed a little, nodding.

(Y/N) took his plate from him, smiling at me and mouthing a ‘thanks’, which I returned with a smile of my own and thumbs-up, as I took Henry to the bathroom. I led him there, opening the door and watching from the door frame as he stood on the kiddie-stool, washing his hands for the full, recommended twenty seconds. I’d taught him well. When he finished, he wiped his hands on the hand towel and leapt off the stool, running past me. I rolled my eyes fondly, because as usual, Henry had left the bathroom light and door open. I closed both for him, walking to catch up with him, and before I’d even entered the living room, Henry was sitting on the couch, already back to watching the movie that played in front of him.

I came near him, ruffling his hair. “You all good there, bud?” I asked, and Henry nodded absentmindedly, clearly focused on the TV instead of my words, and I chuckled affectionately at his total and complete disinterest in me, now that he could watch TV uninterrupted.

“You okay if I go help out Auntie (Y/N) in the kitchen real quick? I’ll be right here.” I said, reassuringly, but Henry wasn’t even paying attention, so I smiled and walked towards the kitchen, beckoned by the sight of (Y/N) washing Henry’s dinner dish, her sleeves rolled up and her previously open hair now pinned back.

I approached her and leaned against the counter, smiling a little dumbly as I watched her, until she looked up at me, sending me a confused grin. “What are you smiling about, Reid?” She asked, a playful lilt in her voice as she continued scrubbing away at the dishes.

“Ah, nothing.” I responded, but she looked up, rolling her eyes with amusement.

“You know we’re both profilers, right?” She shot back, raising an eyebrow and smirking at me. “I can tell when you’re not exactly being truthful.” She paused, before taking a second to properly look at me. “Come on, spit it out.”

I took a breath, shrugging and turning my body to face her as she kept her gaze trained on me. “It’s really nothing, I just.. I guess I’m surprised by how good you are with kids.” I say, not trying to let on how much tonight had actually affected me in regards to my feelings about her.

She raised her eyebrows, letting a giggle fall from her lips. “What, you think I’d suck with them or something?” She said, biting her lip a bit and I felt my heart turn a bit at that. Even though I was aware she was joking, I felt the overwhelming need to comfort her, to make my intentions more than clear.

“No, no, (Y/N).” I say, shaking my head and chuckling. “I just meant- you’re so thoughtful at work, of course you’d be good with kids. It’s a no-brainer. But I don’t know, seeing it in front of me was just..” I took a breath, smiling. “This may be totally weird to say, but you’d make a great mom.”

I watched her reaction, fearing I’d maybe crossed a line by saying so, but she smiled shyly, purposely keeping her eyes off me as she asked, “Yeah? You think so?”

I kept my eyes on her, adoringly observing her as I nodded. “Yeah, no. I know so.”

I watched her bite her lip as she kept her view away from mine, and even in the dim lighting of the kitchen, I saw a light blush fill her cheeks. She looked up at me, an innocently amused look on her face.

“Thank you, Spencer. That means a lot.” She responds, starting to dry her hands with a dish towel off the side of the sink. As she reached forward, she shifted herself a bit closer to me and I watched as she rubbed off the water droplets on her skin with the fabric. I could physically hear her swallowing as our proximity to each other was brought closer, and I couldn’t help but watch her lips, slightly red and swollen from biting on them all night. It was a habit of hers I’d noticed since we began working, and tonight, it was driving me fucking crazy. I wondered what it’d feel like to have her lips against mine, to run my tongue over the plumpness of them. I imagined pinning her against the counter right here, kissing her until we both forgot our names and lost our breath in each other. I shakily exhaled at the thought, and at that moment, she looked up at me, and seemingly caught me in the act of staring, except she didn’t move away. We exchanged glances for a beat, and I was beginning to contemplate leaning in, repercussions be damned, but in a twisted turn of fate, we heard a little voice calling out to us in the other room.

“Auntie (Y/N)! Uncle Spencer! The movie’s over!” He called out, starting to run into the kitchen with the remote. (Y/N) laughed nervously, moving away from me to pick up Henry in her arms. I stepped away just as fast, going back to leaning on the counter as I watched her cradle the boy in her arms, and I could physically recognize the feeling of affection filling my body as my eyes were fixed on her. If she noticed, she pretended not to, turning her entire focus on the boy.

“You know what that means, right, Henry?” (Y/N) asked, cooing a bit at the boy. “It’s time for bed, alright? Let’s get you upstairs.”

“Can Uncle Spencer come too?” Henry asked, looking at me. The boy was clearly a little more tired now that it was later in the night, but he was quite clear in his demands. Henry then looked at (Y/N), his eyes big and wide. “Did you know Uncle Spencer can read me a whole story without the book?”

(Y/N) only laughed at that, looking between me and the boy. “Can he now? I guess he’s just going to have to join us for bedtime, right?” She looks at me, raising an eyebrow and I nod, beaming a little coyly.

“Eidetic memory, remember?” I say, smirking at her.

She makes an amused sound at that, nodding knowingly. “How could I forget?”

She sighs softly, still supporting Henry in her arms. “Okay, let’s get you to sleep, bud.” She says, kissing the top of his head,, beginning to walk towards the stairs, looking back at me and motioning for me to follow.

I smiled at the gesture, and again, I could sense my heart yearning for a future in which this was our life. It was ridiculous, and yet as the night progressed, my imagination only continued to go wild with the possibilities of a reality where we were each other’s. I continued to walk with her, until we reached Henry’s room, which she slowly turned the knob to. She walked in, keeping the door open for me as I trailed behind her, closing the door. She laid Henry down in the bed, looking at me.

She ran her hands down her thighs, beaming gently at me through the low light of Henry’s bedroom. “I’ll.. um. I’ll leave you here with him?” She asked, keeping her voice low. I felt a moment of disappointment flash through me, secretly wishing she’d stay, for us to spend more time in this bubble we’d created for ourselves tonight. I know I wasn’t crazy, I know that she had to feel it too. But, at the risk of seeming clingy, I nodded, permitting her to leave the room. But a little voice protested, sitting straight up in his bed and tugging at her hand back to him.

“No, no!” Henry whined. “I want Auntie (Y/N) and Uncle Spencer here.”

I could hear her pause, before looking at me with a subtle, surrendering expression in her eyes. “Okay, okay, Henry.” She says, sitting down in his bed next to him.

She smoothed over his hair, and Henry looked at me expectantly. I exchanged a quick, covert look with her, implicitly making sure she was okay with all this, and she nodded, even repositioning herself to allow me more space on the other side of Henry. I slid in, moving around until I found a more comfortable position. The three of us attempting to squish into the same, child-sized bed resulted in a slightly tight fit, but it was cozy, nonetheless. (Y/N) had adjusted to be slightly leaned on her side, her hands now lazily playing with Henry’s hair, brushing the hair away from his face. I observed her affectionately, sensing a familiar warmth suffuse me yet again, as I beheld the domesticity in front of me. She made eye contact with me, still keeping her fingers running through the strands of the boy’s hair, smirking softly at me.

“You know.. I think someone promised us a bedtime story.” She murmured quietly, a touch of whimsy in her voice.

I chuckled softly at that, breathing out a little harder out of my nose. “Okay, yeah. Right.” I took a breath, and tried to recall something to recite off the top of my head. I decided on a classic, Alice in Wonderland as I felt its longevity would allow Henry ample time to fall asleep. She seemed pleased with this too, relaxing into her position on her other side of Henry, watching me as I began. I started to speak, my tone low and soothing, and in about twenty or so minutes, I could hear the soft breathing of the boy slow down and I gazed upon him, but quickly realized that (Y/N)’s fingers had stilled in his hair too, and in a moment of realization, I became aware that not only was Henry asleep, but so was she. I allowed myself to stare at her sleeping figure, marveling at the way strands of her soft hair gently placed themselves around her face in a way that framed her delicate features perfectly. I swallowed, wishing more than anything that I could lean over, brush over the wisps and kiss her forehead, but I held back, opting to gently push her awake.

“(Y/N).. hey.” I breathed out softly, keeping my voice to a low whisper so as to not wake Henry. “Come on, you don’t wanna fall asleep here.” I brought my hand to her shoulder, rubbing it softly to stir her awake and she did, blinking herself awake. She realized where she was and yawned, and let a soft giggle escape her lips.

“Ah, I totally fell asleep, didn’t I?” She mused, keeping a hushed voice.

“Yeah, you did.” I replied, watching as she woke up slowly, waiting for her to get up.

“You’re good at that. Getting him to sleep, I mean.” She said in return, keeping her attention on me, never once diverting her eyes from mine. She paused, seeming to consider her next words carefully, before following with a gentle addition, “You’d make a great dad.”

I tensed at the words, feeling my cheeks heat up from embarrassment and the sheer need to reach over and grab her by the shoulders, as if to alert her that, ‘Yes! I would! And I want that with you!’

Instead, I softly chuckled at her words, swallowing down my affection and nodding. “Yeah, I guess.”

She released a quiet breath, starting to move off the bed as slowly as she could. “We should get out of here. JJ and Will will be home soon, and we can go home.” She replied, in a faint voice.

I nodded, already beginning to shuffle off the bed and joining her at the door. I watched her give Henry one last look, before opening the door. She held it ajar for me and I walked past her quietly, and as I did, she followed, closing the door with a gentle click, and releasing another exhale.

“Thank god.” She said, smiling a little brighter now. We walked down the stairs, and she allowed her voice to raise as we got further and further away from Henry’s room. “It takes me forever to get him down. You’re like.. actual magic.” She continues, nudging my shoulder.

I fidget with my fingers, feeling a little bashful. We approached the living room again, standing in the middle of the room as we continued talking. “Yeah, no. JJ and Will have been asking me to babysit since Henry was three. You learn a lot.”

She gleamed at that, nodding. “Regardless of how you figured out how to do it, you were still a huge lifesaver tonight.” She remarked, adding to her statement in a soft voice. “Thanks.”

Her eyes met with mine. I gave her a smile, making eye contact with her again. I’d always loved her eyes, they were always so big and expressive. They just contained so much emotion, and I’d grown to love watching her when she was happy, or excited, because those emotions were so clearly reflected on every part of her face. But right now, as I looked into her eyes, they expressed an emotion I’d become very accustomed to seeing tonight, and found myself precariously losing my will to deny.

Desire.

And there it was again, that tenderness, that affection, and just the absolute craving to be with her, in every sense of the word. She bit her lip, and in an instant it was made clear to me that perhaps my sentiment to overlook the possible aftermath of giving into the desire that plagued us was shared, because she moved a little closer to me, her eyes moving from my eyes to my lips. I swallowed.

“Tonight was.. fun.” I murmur, eyeing her lips in a similar manner as she had.

She nodded, silent, before releasing a shaky exhale. “It was .. fun. Yeah.” She responds, her voice barely above a whisper.

We were barely speaking, and yet in that moment I felt entirely breathless in her presence. I wanted to say something, anything, but any thought of mine completely died, because as soon as I even attempted to open my mouth, she surged forward, planting her lips on mine. I was momentarily stunned. She kissed me once, then twice and then slowly pulled away. I instantly missed the feeling and warmth of her mouth against mine, wanting nothing more than to pull her against me again. She, on the other hand, looked mortified, her lips parted and her complexion flushed.

“Oh god, Spencer.” She started, a little frantic. “I’m so sorry, I don’t know what came over me, and we can forget-”

I finally gave into what I’d been yearning for the whole night, not even bothering to respond to her apologies as I pulled her back against me, bringing her face closer to mine in a heated, passionate kiss. I could feel her happily sigh into my mouth, and I took the opportunity to slip my tongue into her mouth, and she only responded more enthusiastically to that, her arms wrapping themselves around my neck. I took the opportunity to lean down, placing my hands on the back of her thighs, never once letting my lips leave hers. I heard her moan slightly into my mouth at that, and I couldn’t help the smirk that formed on my face. I’d wanted this for so long, and with the way she was reacting, I could tell the lust I felt was mirrored in her as well.

I laid her on the couch, finally letting my lips leave hers to take a breath as I positioned myself above her and grinning wildly, She looked equally as excited, already trying to pull me back against her.

“You have.. no idea.. how bad I’ve wanted this.” She murmured, in between breaths, attempting to kiss me yet again.

Before I kissed her, I leaned down, letting my lips brush over the shell of her ear, lowly whispering, “I think I have a clue.”

I heard another soft moan coming from her at my words, and I felt a wave of pride knowing I’d done that to her. She was the one under me, moaning for me like that, and it only spurred me on further. I promptly moved myself closer to kiss her again, letting both of my hands rest on either side of my face as I hovered above her, fully losing myself in the action. We continued at this, feeling our hunger for more grow. I began to let my hand trail down to her hips, slowly bringing my hand under her hoodie, feeling a shudder as my hand met her warm skin. It took nearly everything to not rip it off her, but in an unanticipated shift in circumstances, we heard the telltale noise of the front door knob moving from its locked position, signifying that JJ and Will had gotten home.

I lept off her, her body imitating my movements, instantly moving away from mine and I almost immediately yearned for her touch again, but I understood the dire situation we’d found ourselves in. She brushed over her hair, attempting to make herself look as normal as she possibly could. I took in her state, hair in disarray, her skin reddened and her lips swollen. I had a sneaking feeling that I most likely mirrored her disheveledness, and took a breath, silently begging that JJ and Will wouldn’t notice, and even if they did, they didn’t comment on it. We heard the footsteps of them approaching the living room, and (Y/N) stood up to greet them.

“JJ, Will.” She said, smiling. “Henry’s all asleep and put down.”

JJ smiled at her, hugging her gently. “Oh, thank you so much. Was he good?” She asked, laughing a bit.

“An angel.” (Y/N) responded, smiling.

As JJ’s eyes met mine, she raised an eyebrow. “Spencer, what are you doing here?” She asked, with a confused look, before Will spoke up behind us.

“I thought (Y/N) couldn’t babysit.. I called Spencer.” Will said, a little sheepishly.

JJ looked at him, her jaw dropping a bit. “No, remember? I told you, (Y/N) wasn’t but then she could.”

The two of them laughed a little apologetically as they realized their miscommunication, turning to face me and (Y/N).

“We’re so sorry guys. We didn’t even realize..” JJ started, but (Y/N) interrupted her.

“No, no. It’s okay! Spencer was a huge help.” She says, smiling at me.

“Yeah.” I responded, nodding and affirming her statement in an attempt to alleviate any guilt JJ or Will might’ve felt about the situation (not trying to reveal how secretly pleased I was with it). “(Y/N) made the time go by faster than usual. Don’t even worry about it.”

JJ sighed, smiling and nodding. “Thank you. It was nice to get out of the house tonight.”

“It was no problem.” (Y/N) responds. I can tell she’s trying to play it cool, to end off the interaction before JJ looked at the two of us for a little too long and realized what had conspired in her and Will’s absence. “So.. uh. It’s late.” (Y/N) breathes out. “And I love your kid, JJ, but I’m ready for some well deserved sleep.” She said, with a little smile.

JJ nodded, knowing the feeling all too well. “Yeah, get out of here.” She said, playfully waving a hand at (Y/N), then me. “You too, Spencer. I’m sure you’re tired too, even if you’re too polite to say so.”

I rubbed my neck with my hand, chuckling softly. “Yeah, yeah.” I replied, trying to fake tiredness to match JJ’s expectations of what I’d be like after a night of watching her kid. However, I was probably the furthest thing from tired. My mind was racing with the possibilities of what had just occurred with (Y/N) just now, and how badly I wanted to do more. The sheer desperation I felt for her was absolutely ruining me, and honestly, I had very little willpower stopping me from just taking her hand and dragging her out of the house, and kissing her right outside on the porch. Thankfully, before that could happen, (Y/N) started walking towards the door and I followed behind her, attempting to look as normal as I could.

“Goodnight!” She called out, opening the door.

“Get home safe!” JJ responded, watching as we both left and closing the door behind us. I took a breath, turning towards her and exhaling. The night air was a lot colder than the warmth of the house, but even then I could feel how hot my body was becoming, absolutely begging for her once again.

“So..” I started.

“So..” She responded, and then suddenly spoke up. “Do you need a ride home?”

I blinked in response, understanding the implicit request in her words and biting my lip at it. “Yeah, I do.” I responded.

“Great.” She responds with purpose, grabbing my hand with a need I’d never seen from her before. It thrilled the hell out of me to know she was just as eager as me, and longed for me with the same fervor. Her gaze was intense as she led me to her car, and in a split second, I decided I couldn’t wait an entire car ride to taste her again. I quickly pinned her against the war, and I could feel her let out a noise of surprise before I dove in for another kiss, taking delight in the way she pressed against me instantly, giving into the kiss. She demonstrated her enthusiasm, nearly moaning into my mouth and I laughed, shushing her in between kisses.

“(Y/N)!” I said, whisper-yelling. “We’re right outside JJ and Will’s house. Someone’s gonna hear us.”

She pulled back, breathing heavily and looking at me with a glint in her eye. “Well, will you hurry up then and just take me back to your place?” She retorted, playfully, diving in for one last kiss.

I nodded. “Gladly.” I took the car keys from her, grinning wildly.

“Hey! It’s my car!” She said, trying to grab the keys back, a hint of amusement in her tone.

“I know a faster way back to my place. Wouldn’t you rather get there, than argue over who drives?” I say, feeling a surge of confidence as I cockily raised an eyebrow at her.

She rolled her eyes, but I could sense the fondness in the expression as she basically ran to the passenger side, opening the door. “Drive fast. Please.” The desperation in her tone heightened my arousal and I wondered if it’d be possible to just give up and have sex in the backseat of her car, but I quickly let go of the thought. I’d wanted this for so long, and when I fucked her tonight, I was going to take my time. I was going to savor her, worship her for everything she was.

It took ten, painstakingly long minutes for us to reach my apartment, and less than three to stumble to my apartment, all over each other like a pair of horny teenagers. It was like we were magnets, unable to get away from each other for even a second without thinking we couldn’t live without the other. I responded passionately to each and every one of her advances against me, kissing her fervently against the wall, up the stairs, before finally leading her to my bedroom. We fell into my bed in a tangle of limbs, and I breathed heavily over her. Ultimately, we found ourselves once again in the same position we’d been in on JJ and Will’s couch, with me on top of her. I looked down at her, finally taking a break from kissing her to cradle her face with my palm, still holding myself above her body.

“Did you mean it?” She asked, softly, biting her lip.

“What do you mean?” I respond, starting to move my lips gently down her neck, testing out different points of sensitivity. I wanted to kiss every inch of her bare skin, to feel her in every way. I could feel her body squirm and tense as I let my lips linger on a particular spot between her ear and neck, beginning to lightly suck there until I heard a quiet moan coming out from the girl in front of me.

“The thing about me being a good mom.” She spoke, in between moans and happy sighs. “Or was that like, flirting? For sex?”

I suddenly retracted my position from her neck, making her whine a bit but I quickly placed a hand under her chin, forcing her to look at me.

“(Y/N), I cannot express how devastatingly real my feelings are for you. You’re- you’re perfect. And I wish I’d said it a long time before tonight, if I knew we could’ve done this much earlier.” I looked deep into her eyes, hoping my words and the intensity of my gaze could properly convey just how sincere I was about this, about her.

Her lips parted, and she let out a soft exhale, and then allowed the corners of her mouth to turn upwards in a smile. I smiled down at her, once again recapturing her lips in a kiss, almost as if to seal the deal between us. She reciprocated, before pulling back. “I meant it.” She admitted softly. “I’ve always thought you’d be a good dad.”

I could feel myself blushing at that, moving in for another kiss. I was enthralled by her, addicted to her taste and the way her lips moved over mine. I felt like I could do forever, but a slight mewl alerted me that she wanted a bit more than that.

“Spence, kissing is really, really nice. But if you don’t fuck-”

I quickly understood, beginning to kiss the expanse down her neck, already moving my hands under her hoodie and grabbing at her breast, squeezing the soft and supple skin through her bra, eliciting the sweetest sounds from her that only served to embolden me. I slowly moved to remove the pieces of fabric between us, and as soon as she registered the shuffling of her hoodie, she eagerly reached out to begin undoing the buttons of my own shirt. She paused, letting me pull off the hoodie and I leaned back, admiring her, all laid out like this for me. I ran a finger against her jawline, and watched her shudder at the intimacy of the action.

“You’re so beautiful.” I whisper, physically unable to take my eyes off her. I could tell it was affecting her, as she looked shy under my gaze, a light tinge of pink now dusting her cheeks as I spoke the words.

“Thank you.” She says, in a similar tone to mine. She leans up to kiss me again, and her fingers are working my buttons. I let her, shrugging the shirt off and pressing my bare chest against her. She was just so soft, and warm, and I truly couldn’t get enough of her. I moved down, kissing the swell of her breasts and moving my fingers back to unclasp her bra, slipping it off her and immediately attaching my mouth to her nipples, moving my hand to rub at the other one. I watched her mouth drop open, her face contorting with pleasure, moaning out my name. I continued my ministrations for a moment, before beginning to kiss down her stomach. I could feel the tensing of the muscles, her happy sighs and light moans indicating to me I was doing a good job at pleasing her, and at that moment, it’s all I wanted.

I began to slip down her sweatpants, reveling in the way she lifted up her hips, kicking off the clothing. I kissed near the hem of her underwear, teasing her by lightly tracing my finger near where a wet patch had formed against them.

“You were so good today, you know that?” I murmur, letting my breath hit her clothed core. I pressed a chaste kiss against it. “So fucking good.”

I hear a desperate moan from her, her hips jolting against my face, begging me for more. I nod, using my fingers to slide down the fabric, watching in fascination as her glistening folds were revealed to me, and in an almost primal way, I let my tongue dart out, licking a fat stripe against her. She immediately shuddered, nearly closing her thighs around me from the intense euphoria she was experiencing. I hooked my hands underneath them, holding her open and tasting the hot flesh against my tongue, enjoying the way she tasted against me. I had never felt such a burning need for anyone in my entire life, and I’m sure she could tell by the way, given the way I was absolutely devouring into her, my tongue continuing to move against her like a man starved, lapping up whatever I could. I wanted it all. I began to feel her thighs shake uncontrollably against me, and her moans reverberating around the room as her volume got louder.

“Please-please! Spencer. Holy fuck. Please don’t stop, please don’t-”

I let my tongue dart harshly against her clit, and her begging fell into a string of incoherent whimpers and praises for my mouth, making me chuckle slightly. It seemed to do her in, the vibration of my mouth causing her moans reaching a peak they hadn’t this entire night, and a tension leaving her body as she looked down at me with glazed eyes, breathing heavily. I drank her arousal, feeling the entirety of her arousal coating my lower chin. She moaned at the overstimulation, but I could only focus on how fucking good she tasted.

I moved up against her, giving her another kiss, before I felt her moving, tugging me off her.

“Something wrong?” I asked, knitting my brows and biting my lip.

“I need you inside me. Now. Please.” She said, the intensity of her desperation going straight to my cock as I nodded quickly.

“Okay, yeah.” I replied, quickly beginning to undo my own pants and pulling my cock out of the confines of my briefs. I gave it a few strong tugs, before moving above her again, rubbing the head of my arousal against her folds. She moaned at the feeling, before it died out into a silent scream as I moved inside of her with no warning. She screwed her eyes shut, before moaning out, “Fuck. You feel so good.”

That was all the incentive I needed, beginning to buck wildly against her watching as we both lost ourselves in the pleasure we were giving to the other. As she whimpered, I moaned out at the feeling of how well she was taking me. I leaned down, whispering into her ear. “You’re so good.” I moaned, feeling a particularly strong clench against my cock. “I want you so badly. I wanna make you mine.” I groaned, barely getting the words out as she tensed against me, clearly nearing her second release of the night.

I could feel the twitch of my member inside of her, feeling the arousal fill up in the pit of my belly, my breathing getting heavier and faster as we both reached our peaks.

“Take me.” She moaned, desperate and needy. “I’m yours. Make me yours.” She said, nearly screaming out the words.

My hips snapped harder against her, a primal growl coming out of me as I heard the words. “Is that right? You wanna be filled? You want my cum inside you, then?”

“Yes, yes! Spencer, please- please! I need it!” At her last beg, I groaned, feeling myself expel inside of her, feeling myself come inside of her. A few moments later, her walls spasmed against me, soft whimpers and moans leaving her lips as she convulsed against my cock. I thrust lazily, working both of us through our orgasms, before gently rolling off her, and kissing her forehead, then her cheek.

“You’re so amazing.” I whisper to her, as she gives me a dazed smile, clearly fucked out but elated. A thin sheen of sweat covered her, and it only served to make her look even more radiant in the light of my bedroom.

“You too, doc.” She said, a teasing quality in her voice, as she shifted herself closer to me. I opened my arms up to her, letting her lay her head on my chest, and I could feel her breathing relax and slow down as she settled against me, closing her eyes.

“Goodnight.” I murmur, kissing the top of her head one final time. I began to close my eyes, ready to fall asleep like this, before I heard her voice again, soft and light.

“Spence?” She mumbled, half-asleep as her lips brushed the bare skin of my chest.

“Mm?”

“I really like you.”

I laughed at that, feeling a bloom of absolute adoration fill my chest. “I really like you too.” I sighed, closing my eyes once more. “Sleep.”

The next morning, I woke up to the sound of my phone ringing, groaning as I realized it was JJ. (Y/N) was still asleep in my arms, and I shifted our positions slightly, careful not to wake her. I answered the phone in a low tone. “JJ? What’s up?”

JJ’s voice came frantic from the other line. “Spencer?! Spencer. Oh my god. Did (Y/N) get home last night? I’m here at her apartment, and I don’t see her car in the parking space and-”

I internally groaned, realizing I was going to need to explain her whereabouts without revealing what we had done. “Erm. JJ. Don’t worry.” I responded, trying to seem nonchalant, keeping my voice down. “I’m sure she’s fine.”

“Don’t worry?! Spencer, where the fuck is she?! Did you see her go home or-”

I interrupted her, sighing discerning that JJ wasn't going to take a vague answer right now. “She’s with me, okay! It’s okay. She’s with me.”

There was a beat, and then I heard the smile in her voice. “She’s with you?”

I rubbed my forehead, letting out a low groan. “She is.”

JJ’s voice, now growing excited erupted in a fit of giggles and laughs. “Oh god, I owe Will twenty bucks now. I knew it would happen eventually, but I never assumed all it would take would be one night spent together!”

It was my turn to be confused, knitting my brows. “Sorry, what?”

JJ responded simply, her coyness over the phone giving away everything. “Let’s just say we knew we were double-booking last night.”

hello again! thank you so much for reading. as usual, likes, reblogs, feedback are all appreciated. i cannot say thank you enough. <3 p.s . thanks for everyone's help on the poll!! i hope this satisfied everyone's want for a long smut fic, haha:3

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roosterr · 10 months

Text

white flag ✹ ch 4

note: i had to rewrite this chapter TWICE. im sick of it so pls enjoy. also forgot to mention on here that I have been away this week on a little holiday. didn't stop me writing tho lol.

pairing: ghost x gn!reader

wc: 2.3k

no use of y/n

readers callsign is 'stingray'

summary: while you're gone on a mission, ghost has time to ponder your relationship, and comes to a long awaited realisation

warnings: ghost's pov, mentions of blood and injury, lil bit of angst

ao3

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ghost never knew how to feel about you.

at first, he really did hate you; you were the bright-eyed new recruit with seemingly endless optimism, he simply couldn't help but be annoyed by you. honestly, he half expected you to tap out a week into the job. you were just so… normal, he found it hard to believe you were cut out for this line of work.

of course, he trusted price's decision to hire you, and deep down ghost knew he wouldn't have recruited you if he didn't think you could handle it, but he looked down on you anyway. it didn't matter how good price thought you were, you'd have to earn ghost's respect.

it was infuriating, the way you fit so easily into the dynamic of the team. they all liked you right off the bat, even the captain, who was notoriously hard to impress. he observed you from afar, watching how you easily broke down their walls and fell into place next to them like it was nothing.

if he was honest with himself, he might have even called it jealousy. it seemed that everything was so natural to you; everything that he struggled with, you did with such ease you made it look like child's play. he especially hated the way you could just be a person. you didn't lock up every time someone spoke to you, you didn't need to sit with a visual on every available exit, and you didn't need to analyse every person you met in the fear that the second you turn your back they'll stab you in it.

you pissed him off, but what was worse than anything else about you, is that ghost had to fight with himself not to like you too.

it was the first time he got sent on an assignment with you that he began to understand why everyone seemed to get along with you so well. the ruthless efficiency with which you did your job was almost shocking to see. he couldn't have predicted how well the two of you worked together; like a well oiled machine, by the end of the mission he didn't even need to communicate verbally, you could just tell what his next move would be.

he finally understood why price fought so hard to get you on the one-four-one – and he finally found it in himself to respect you.

but that didn't change the way he felt about you beyond the field. you were soft, too kind, and too optimistic, you weren't hardened by the job like him. so he went out of his way to be tougher on you than he was with the others, and he rationalised it by telling himself he was helping you; that without a little toughening up, this world would break you, and for some reason, he couldn't stand the thought of that.

when you started to resent him back, it made his stomach feel heavy in a way he'd never felt before. it was new, and uncomfortable, and it scared him. he wasn't sure when he first noticed it, but it only got worse when he came to the realisation that you didn't care for him like you did for gaz and soap.

you could joke around so easily with them, but you go quiet when he enters the room. you never meet his eyes, and make sure to never be physical with him. when he addresses you over comms, you answer with a quick 'yes sir' and that's the end of it. ghost would never admit it, but the distance between you hurt – even if it was by design.

as he lay awake that night, he thought about what it would be like if you treated him the same way you treated the others. he couldn't stop the tiny smile that pulled at his lips as he imagined laughing with you, sitting next to you, touching you.

he imagined you, taking his calloused hand into your own, so gentle and kind like you always were, and the way his pulse skyrocketed scared him into staying up the rest of the night.

after that, the way he saw you changed. where he used to think you were soft – and therefore weak – instead he saw the way you chose to be kind. when once your constant jokes with the others was an inability to take things seriously, now it was your specialty way to keep up morale, and ghost actually found himself chuckling at a few of your quips.

it was like his entire perspective had shifted, everything about you that used to annoy him gradually became something he appreciated about you.

it took him a while, but he finally came to the conclusion that he… liked you.

but it was bittersweet, because he already knew you didn't want him, and he doubted you ever would. you'd never see him in the same light, he'd ruined his chances before he even knew he wanted one.

maybe it was for the best, though. you deserved better, someone who would treat you right, someone normal. he already knew you didn't want him, and he could never blame you for that. people like you don't fall in love with people like him, that's just the way it is.

so he resigns himself to burying the feelings he harbours for you. you never had to find out, if you did you'd surely be disgusted by someone like him being interested in you. he couldn't handle rejection like that, not from you.

when price told him he'd have to take you in when your house burned down, he was fucking terrified. it shook him to his core, how much he liked the idea of the two of you living under the same roof. he did his best to avoid you, leave you in peace like he assumed you wanted; but you – wonderful, kind you – wouldn't just leave him to his misery.

you were being nice to him, and he couldn't figure out why. he assumed it was because he was doing you a favour by letting you stay with him; he couldn't even trick himself into believing that you might be doing it because you liked him.

every night, he'd go back to that fantasy of existing with you, by your side instead of at arm's length. you were so close, just a single door separating you, his hands started sweating every time he passed by the living room.

he knew he was a goner the morning you woke up before him. he'd scarcely ever seen you in a casual setting, but walking into the kitchen and being greeted by you sitting at the table, the domesticity of it all hit him like a bullet to the chest.

it was exactly what he wanted, and it scared the shit out of him, so he panicked. he needed to stay away from you, for your own good, so he did what the ghost does best.

he ran away.

he didn't even consider what you'd think, he just had to get away, before he said something he'd end up regretting.

when you came through the door, soaking wet, and laid into him – which he knew he deserved – he immediately regretted leaving you behind. seeing you cry, knowing it was because of him, it made him feel sick. he knew he never wanted you to feel that heartache again, especially if it was because of him.

he'd give anything to start again with you, go back to the beginning and do it all right this time, but the only thing he could do was try and make up for what he'd put you through.

the hot chocolate was a peace offering; he knew you loved it – he even knew about the stash you had of it hidden in price's office, away from the other soldiers. he half expected you to just tell him to piss off, but when you accepted it, he felt his heart soar.

it ignited a spark of hope within him. more than anything, he just wanted you to like him, it didn't matter if you never saw him the way he wanted you to.

he intended on waking you up the next evening, before he left for the pub, but when he saw how peaceful you looked while you slept, he couldn't bring himself to disturb you.

you stayed with gaz and soap most of the night, and he spent the night watching you from the bar and dimly lit corners, assuring himself that you were okay. when it came time to drag you home with him, he had never been so nervous. taking care of people was the exact opposite of his strong suit, especially when they started crying at him.

he almost couldn't believe his ears when you said you liked him.

he'd dragged you home with an arm wrapped around your waist, his head feeling light as a feather. by all accounts, he should've been annoyed at having to look after you in your inebriated state, but he found himself smiling under his mask the whole way home – even when you almost threw up on him.

when you rested your head on his shoulder on the bathroom floor, he might've actually short-circuited. all thoughts except for you evacuated his mind, and a wonderfully warm feeling blossomed in his chest that made his stomach flutter like never before.

he came so close to spilling his guts to you, but then he remembered that you were drunk, and you most likely wouldn't remember it if he did. so he resigned himself to tucking you into bed with an uncharacteristically gentle touch.

the next day, sitting on that park bench with you, laughing with you like he'd wanted to for so long – it was everything to him. it sent his pulse through the roof, it was complicated, and it was so pleasantly warm.

the logical part of him knew that this would only end painfully for him, but found himself willing to risk that if it meant more of these moments with you.

but of course, he'd fucked it all up at the first opportunity. he'd screamed in your face and he had yet to even apologise for it – for any of it. he felt immeasurably guilty, but he was so scared he couldn't even force himself to be around you.

even price had yelled at him for how he'd treated you. you were traumatised, you had a very real phobia as a result of the house fire, and he felt like a fucking fool for not noticing. he swore to himself he'd make it up to you, he'd grovel at your feet for the rest of his life if he had to, and if you never forgave him he still wouldn't blame you.

he regretted it – of course he did. he let his fear consume him; the fear of you getting hurt, of losing you, and not being able to do anything to save you.

almost as soon as the words had passed his lips, he realised what he was doing, he heard himself. the anger in his voice, the fearful look in your eyes as they glistened with tears, it was everything he didn't want to be.

he felt just like his–

no. he refused to even entertain that thought. he'd never be… that. you deserved so, so much better than the broken husk of man that he was. no matter what he did, he would never deserve you; and it was selfish, but he still hoped that you could somehow forgive him.

it's only been a few days since you left on that assignment for laswell, but he's found that being alone in his house didn't bring him the same comfort it used to. the silence never bothered him before, in fact he greatly preferred it, but now it just felt empty. like there was something missing, leaving a hole in the space it used to occupy.

deep down, the rational part of simon knows that it's you, of course it is, but you wanted nothing to do with him right now. he knew he had to fix things, he would never get over the hollow feeling in his chest if he didn't. that's why he was currently standing at the edge of the runway in the middle of the night, watching the ramp of the helo lower to reveal you, gaz, and the captain.

you looked shattered, like you hadn't slept for days – which was probably true – and he was suddenly overcome with the urge to gather you into his arms and not let go. he wondered if the remnants of dried blood that were visible on your hands and face were yours.

he felt his heart rate pick up as you made your way closer to him, his icy stare softening when he sees how you drag your feet across the tarmac.

when you were close enough, he reached his hand out to grasp your arm, opening his mouth to speak, but he never makes contact.

you sidestep him, and he feels his heart break in his chest. any words he was planning on saying die on his tongue as he turns to watch you slip through the doors without a hint of acknowledgement to him.

price gives him a rough pat on the shoulder as he and gaz pass by. "fix it, simon." he murmurs, before disappearing through the doors as well, leaving him alone outside the building.

he will fix it – he'd do whatever it takes because simon doesn't just need you, he's come to the alarming conclusion that he loves you – he just has no idea how.

taglist p1: @sofasoap , @siilvan , @mockerycrow , @i-love-ghost , @projectdreamwalker , @achelois-is-here , @adamsloverboy , @thatchickwiththecamera , @chickensandwich69 , @batmanunicorns523 , @tiny-kasper , @dezibou , @pampeop , @cumbermovels , @goth-boi-atlas , @berryjuicyy , @guiltgoreglory , @postmodernrevolutionist , @untoldshortsofthefandoms , @delilah-grimes , @sunflowerqueen1416 , @luvssemma , @ghostslittlegf , @imonmykneessir , @kenz-ee , @eistro-phobia , @rzmarona , @alanalanalanalanalanna ,

@cathnoneofyourbusiness , @madsothree , @geisterfvhrer , @lazyninjaphilosopher , @aliilium , @koi-feish , @chaoticgoblindev , @clear-your-mind-and-dream , @thrivig-n-jiving , @lesterous , @glitterypirateduck , @slu77ym4nw415ts , @livelaugh-light , @trulylavendedarling , @stateofcatatonia , @rivalriotrenegade , @yoichiislovie , @nirvanaaaonly , @ameliaamareeee , @batmanunicorns523 , @sapientiia , @thesecretwriter , @susanmukami , @ryze1113 , @stars-andfreckles , @spya1 , @tunaa-luvchrm , @tzutology , @kuruksenshi

if your name is crossed out, i can't tag you for whatever reason, sorry! ༼ つ ◕_◕ ༽つ

#ghost x reader #simon riley x reader #simon ghost riley x reader #mw2 x reader #cod x reader #141 x reader #call of duty x reader #mw2 #cod mw2 #call of duty #simon ghost riley #mw2 ghost #roosterr writes

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raysrays · 3 months

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Crimson Guardian NSFW

Kyojuro Rengoku x Wife! Reader

18+ MDNI!🚫

CW: NSFW Content, minor angst, controlling/manipulating behavior, fluff-ish.

Y/N POV

Scenario : You've recently married into the respected Rengoku family, and while you continue your work as a demon slayer, life starts to get a bit messy. Balancing your duties becomes a real challenge as you navigate the challenges of married life. You find yourself having to make tough choices just to keep your husband happy, all while debating to stay true to yourself and your calling as a demon slayer.

Marriage. Truly one of the most beautiful milestones a couple can achieve. Marrying Kyojuro has undoubtedly been my greatest accomplishment.

I still remember it vividly, as if it were yesterday. Surrounded by friends, family, and core members, we pledged our lives to each other. Though it wasn't the most glamorous wedding ever seen, it was enough. Because really, all I've ever wanted was Kyojuro, and now, finally, I have him.

For the first few months, our marriage was nothing short of perfect. I moved into the Rengoku estate with Kyojuro's family, assisting Shenjuro with chores and gradually trying to get closer to Shinjuro. Though I'm not sure how successful I was.

It was only six months in that I realized being a demon slayer and a wife wasn't as easy as I thought.

Before our relationship, I was Kyojuro's Tsuguko. He was simply my mentor, and I trained hard under him to get myself where I am today. It was later down the road that we noticed each other's lingering gazes, the occasional flirting, and all the other subtle hints of wanting to be more.

Kyojuro was strong, and I knew he wanted a family, but I simply wasn't ready to give up training and my duties as a demon slayer just yet.

Every day, after helping out around the estate, I would hike over to HQ and pick up where I had left off the previous day, training until the late hours of the night. I would often come home exhausted, which usually caused Kyojuro to worry. As much as I reassured him, he never seemed fully convinced.

Now, here I was, sitting at the dinner table with Kyo across from me. It was a rare occasion for us to eat alone together like this. We made small talk about our day and training, and then he finally stopped eating and put his silverware down.

"Little Flame, I think it’s time we have a serious discussion about the way things have been as of late,” his usual happy smile seemed almost nervous.

I set my spoon down on my plate, giving him my full attention.

“Yes? What is it?”

“Sunflower, you have been working so hard as of late, and it’s quite admirable. I truly admire your dedication to the demon slayer corps and your training!”

“But…?” I ask, confused.

“But… since our marriage, I’ve found myself in constant worry over you. Every time you go on a mission without me, I have to painfully wait for your return. Not knowing whether or not you'd be injured or even-“

“Dead?” I finish.

I saw his body tense up at the word.

“Yes, my love. Dead. I cannot even bear the thought of you never returning to me. It pains me to my core,” he seemed so sad, so worried about me.

I know Kyojuro, I know he didn’t mean anything bad by what he was saying. However, I felt almost offended. He too was a slayer, a hashira. I also had to deal with the fear of him returning with serious injuries or even never returning at all.

Did he believe me to be incapable of protecting myself? He was the very one who trained me. Even though I knew Kyojuro was strong, much stronger than me, it just felt like he lacked faith in me.

“You don’t think I’m strong enough anymore? Do you think marriage has made me soft?” I realized I might have come off a little too harsh, but my emotions were getting the best of me.

His expression seemed surprised, but I could tell. While he may not have used those words, that was definitely the gist of it.

I watched him get up from his place at the table and walk over to me. He pulled my chair out from under the table, then grabbed my hands and kneeled down in front of me.

His big, bright eyes were now staring up at me.

“You are one of the strongest people I know, my love. I know how capable you are, but please remember…”

He brought my hands to his lips, kissing them softly.

“You are my wife before you are a demon slayer. I cannot risk sending you off only for you to never return.”

I could practically hear the desperation and love in his voice.

Kyojuro wasn’t someone who would usually discourage anyone from pursuing something they're passionate about. So if he was now, I knew that it’s something he’s been internally battling with for a while.

“What about you? Is it not the same? What about my worry? What if you never come home to me?” I could feel my face start to heat up. Everything he was saying seemed to come from genuine care, but it felt so hypocritical.

“I am a Hashira, my little flame. I have a certain responsibility you do not have to burden yourself with. I shall retire soon, in just a few years. So please…”

There’s no way he’d ask me-

“Please retire your sword, Y/N. Please stay home for me. Please allow my heart to rest easy knowing you'll be here waiting for me whenever I shall return,” his voice was pleading.

I felt so conflicted. I’d worked so hard. All of these years of training to hopefully become a high-ranking swordsman myself. However, at the same time, I never stopped to consider my romantic life and how being married would affect things.

We both sat there in silence for a few moments, and I finally rose up from the chair, pulling him up off his knees along with me.

I looked up at him, reaching my hand up to rest on his cheek.

“Kyojuro, you are the only one I would retire my sword for. So please promise me, promise me you will always come home to me. Until the day you yourself retire.”

“I promise you, Sunflower. As long as I know you are safe and waiting for me, there is no demon that could ever keep me away.”

I felt his hand on my lower back and the other holding up my chin.

We both leaned in, our lips meeting in a tender kiss.

This kiss started so gently, so lovingly at first. As we pulled away for just a moment, staring into each other’s eyes, we realized how long it had been since we really enjoyed each other’s company.

After that, the kiss only grew hotter and more passionate.

Kyojuro swept me off my feet and carried me straight to our shared room at the back of the estate, the most private spot. It seemed fitting for newlyweds, after all.

As he gently laid me back on the soft futon, I couldn't help but stay focused on him. Kyojuro was simply beautiful. His hair, his eyes, his body, everything about him looked like he was perfectly sculpted.

My admiration was interrupted as I felt him begin to kiss me again. One of his hands traveling to my breasts, gently squeezing it.

The other massaging my thigh.

I feel him pull away from me starting to kiss on my neck traveling all the way down to my chest.

Kyojuro had always known my weak points and how to make me say yes to his every request. He knew my body just as well as I did, and now he was taking full advantage of that knowledge.

I could feel him pressing against me as he moved his hand down my body, lightly touching me. I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him closer to me, wanting more.

Then I heard, Kyojuro's soft voice whisper these words, almost as a demand. "Enjoy this little flame, you've kept me waiting far too long.”

As soon as those words left his lips, I felt myself begin to relax. His movements were so gentle, so careful, so loving.

His fingers trailed down my sides, sending chills through my body. His hands went back up and caressed my neck, making me tremble. He kissed me once more, and I melted into him.

It was as if he had cast a spell over me, and all I could do was obey him. He was completely in control of me.

After a moment, I felt him move back down and remove my underwear, revealing my already wet entrance. His hand slid between my thighs, and I couldn't help but let out a moan as his finger slipped inside me. He was gentle at first, just barely grazing me, but it felt incredible.

"Is this okay?" he asked softly, his breath hot against my ear.

I nodded but I could tell that wasn’t enough for him.

“Use your words my love.” He demanded sweetly.

“Yes Kyo, it’s perfect.” I said, my voice trembling.

He leaned down and kissed my lips before pulling back again, smiling at me.

"I want to be inside of you," he whispered, his voice filled with desire.

"Please," I begged.

He removed his fingers, replacing them with his cock, his tip rubbing against my clit.

"Good girl," he whispered, thrusting into me.

I threw back my head, arching my back and digging my nails into his shoulders. His movements were slow and deep at first and then they became faster and harder, and soon my whole body began to shake. I couldn't stop the moans from escaping my lips, and I couldn't help but beg for more.

When he starts to speed up I know we are both about to reach our limit.

I feel his fingers interlock with mine and his lips pressing against mine again, but this time, he wasn’t just kissing me, he was also letting his teeth graze my bottom lip.

He was biting down hard enough to draw blood.

We were both so close and we were both trying to hold back but we couldn’t anymore. We were finally going to let ourselves release.

I was the first one to let myself go, arching my back as I moaned his name.

Then he followed not too far behind.

After he finishes, we just lay there for a bit catching our breath.

“I love you, Y/N,” he finally breathed out, turning his head to look at me.

I turned to face him as well. “I love you, Kyojuro.”

After that, the two of us drifted off in each other's arms for the rest of the night.

The next morning when I awoke, I was still trapped wrapped in Kyojuro's arms.

After a bit of struggling, I managed to maneuver my way out and make it to the kitchen.

There I saw Senjuro, who was already preparing breakfast for everyone.

“Good morning, Sen,” I greeted with a yawn.

“Oh, good morning, Y/N!”

“I'm almost finished with breakfast. Is my brother awake yet?”

“He should be awake soon. We both have to see Master Kagaya today,” I said, rubbing my eyes.

He stopped to turn and look at me.

“Did something bad happen?” he asked nervously.

Poor Senjuro always assumes the absolute worst in every situation. Well, I suppose in this case it’s somewhat understandable.

“No, Sen, nothing's wrong. Kyojuro and I are just going to inform Master Kagaya of my retirement. That’s all.”

He gave a puzzled look.

“Retirement? Why? Haven’t you been training for years to improve your sword skills to move up in the ranks?” he asked.

He was right. I know I shouldn’t go back on my word to Kyojuro, but I really was having second thoughts about my decision.

Senjuro could probably sense my doubt because his next response was:

"If this is something that you're not sure of, then you shouldn't do it. If you have doubts about this decision, then maybe you're not ready for retirement just yet."

His words really struck a chord with me.

Maybe he was right.

Before I could ponder that any further, Kyojuro had made his way into the kitchen.

"Good morning! How are my two favorite people doing?" he said cheerfully.

I smiled.

"Morning, Kyo. Did you sleep well?"

"I did, actually. Thank you, little flame," he walked over to me, giving me a kiss.

I could feel my chest tightening, nervous about what was to come.

The whole time at breakfast, I felt so spaced out. All I could hear was Kyojuro and Senjuro talking and the occasional grunt from Shinjuro drinking away at the table.

“Sunflower? Are you okay?”

I was snapped out of my daze by Kyojuro waving a hand in front of my face. All three of them were staring at me, kind of concerned.

“Oh, yeah, I’m fine. Sorry.”

I shook my head a little and looked down at my plate. I felt bad for Senjuro going through all that trouble to cook, but I simply couldn’t eat right now.

After we finished breakfast, Kyojuro and I headed out.

The thought that this would be the last time wearing my uniform with my sword by my side was so weird and almost uncomfortable to me.

I knew that this day would come eventually, but I always hoped in the back of my mind that Kyojuro would be the one to retire before me.

I had been so focused on training and my duties as a demon slayer that it had never even occurred to me how my marriage would affect everything.

I was now a wife. My first priority should be the estate, and helping Shinjuro while he was in his state of grief, and being there for Senjuro as well.

It wouldn’t be right of me to go against my husband's wishes either. Especially after the intimate moment we shared. Right?

As we made it to HQ waiting to speak with the master I felt my heartbeat racing inside of me.

The room was quiet, I could feel Kyojuro’s eyes lingering on me but I couldn’t bring myself to face him right now.

Both mine and Kyojuro’s attention was shifted as we heard the door open and Master Kagaya entered the room.

"Rengoku, Y/N. It's a pleasure to see you both," Kagaya said, his face as warm as ever.

"It's wonderful to see you too, Master," I replied.

"So what brings you two here? It seems urgent, judging by the fact that you came in so early."

"It is very urgent," Kyojuro began.

He then proceeded to explain our conversation from the night before, and how I was considering retiring.

"Y/N, this is a big decision, and it's important that you feel comfortable and confident in it. Do you think you can fully retire, knowing you won't be able to assist the demon slayers as you are now?" Kagaya asked.

I looked at the master and then glanced at Kyojuro. He seemed so proud and happy that we were here. I could feel the warmth radiating from him.

But, I could also sense the worry in his expression. He was nervous, scared almost.

I couldn't do that to him.

"Master, I've spent most of my life training for the opportunity to become a hashira. To serve the demon slayer corps and protect those who cannot protect themselves. But...I'm no longer just a demon slayer. I'm also a wife, and as such, I think it's only right that I focus on that," I answered.

The room fell silent for a moment.

"If you truly feel this is the right choice, then we support you, Y/N," Kagaya finally spoke.

"Thank you, Master," I bowed.

"Thank you so much, Master! I will never

forget your kindness!" Kyojuro bowed as well.

The two of us left the room and started to head out.

As we exited, we ran into a few of the other Hashira, who asked us about what we had gone to see Master Kagaya about.

They too seemed surprised and a little concerned when Kyojuro explained to them that I would be retiring so soon.

I could tell some of their reactions to the news annoyed Kyojuro. Shinobu used the word “controlling,” and you could see his smile almost falter.

"Controlling" was never a word I would have used to describe my husband. He just loves me, right? He wants to protect me. There's no way my sweet and kind Kyo would ever do anything to control or manipulate me.

Right?

Part Two

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crepezinhos · 2 months

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Scaramouche + Wanderer NSFW ABCs

(NSFW ABCs of Scaramouche and Wanderer, showing their sexual differences throughout Wanderer’s character transformation)

SCARAMOUCHE’S POV: You and Scaramouche are friends with benefits. You’re a human but you are incredibly the Seventh Fatui Harbinger. You used to have a rivalry with the Sixth Harbinger because you always thought you were stronger. Slowly, you two start to realize you have many things in common and compete each other in a different way.

WANDERER’S POV: You and Wanderer are a couple. You are a student at the Akademiya and used to be one of his fans when he still was Scaramouche, but, just like everyone else, you forgot his existence after he deleted hisself from the Irminsul. Wanderer met you again when he saw you being cornered by Fatui Agents and saved you from them because he still felt thankful for your support to him in the past. Because of this event, you began talking to him more frequently to him and he quickly fell in love for you, even if he promised to never do so again.

⚠️ WARNINGS:

— Both characters DO NOT share universes, so there was no “exchanging” in partners.

— This is a NSFW piece

— Reader uses SHE/HER pronouns

— Both characters will have some PTSD and are pretty toxic in some topics

— Contains MANY kinky topics such as: Creampie, cosplay / dressed sex, degradation, oral sex, body marking, bondage, overstimulation, teasing, unfairness, masturbation, public sex, quickies, unprotected sex, usage of elemental powers, sexualization of common and daily activities and probably more.

A - Aftercare (How are they like after it and how do they treat you?)

Scaramouche: Scaramouche would usually win the “competitions” you two had, and whenever he did so he’d be pretty snobby about it. He would help you clean up and put you in a comfy place but he’d make sure to keep smirking and staring at your soul through every second of it. Depending of what the competition was about, and who begun it, he’d joke or be ironic about it. Good luck trying to live peacefully after losing to him on a challenge you did by yourself.

“Here you go. I know it’s hard to survive a challenge against me, so I just want to make sure you are not in a vegetative state!” He joked, handing you a cup of water with a very proud smile in his face after barely breaking your mind in bed.

Wanderer: He’d definitely keep the aftercare for the next morning. He feels embarrassed enough to get naked in front of you before it, so he definitely doesn’t want you to see him naked, panting, sweaty and blushing after it. He will immediately lay down and quickly cover the both of you up, cuddling your head until you’re asleep. After some minutes or hours watching you sleep while messing with your hair, he will get up, dress up and do whatever he has to do to make you wake up to a perfect scenario.

“Sit down, I brought you breakfast.” He asked, putting a four-legged tray on top of your waist as soon as you were set to. It had your favorite meal for breakfast and your favorite snacks and drink around it. He already had his clothes on and you had just woke up from an exhausting sex night. “So… did you like it..?” He asked, sitting by your side but avoiding eye contact. You could see him clearly blushing tho.

B - Body Part (What is their favorite part of your body and why?)

Scaramouche: Your hips. If he’s holding your hips, he has the control of it all, and he loves that feeling. He loves to see you sway your hips when walking, see you in clothes where your hips are valued, he loves to grip on them until they get red by the pressure of his fingers, he loves squeezing them and other body parts around it like your belly and tights and he really loves seeing you sway them, especially when you’re riding him.

“Fuck..! If you keep swaying your hips like that… I might actually pass out.” Says Scaramouche between low groans, trying to pretend like he’s not losing the current challenge. His eyes and hands locked on your hips like a hunter. You were swaying them in a way that was driving him absolutely crazy for you.

Wanderer: Your wrists. Even after deleting hisself from the Irminsul and going through his past identity of Scaramouche, he still likes to have total, or most control of sex. He will always lock both your wrists down by either pulling or pushing them to the ground depending on your position, and he does it hard just like his past self. The difference is that he’s just not that kinky anymore and doesn’t even realize how much he likes to hold your wrists.

“Stop moving.” Wanderer ordered between his many moans, grabbing both your wrists and pushing them harder into the wall he was thrusting you against.

C - Cum (Where do they most like to cum?)

Scaramouche: If Scaramouche has the opportunity to cum in your chest or in your face, he will always do it. He absolutely loves the power sensation he gets from doing that to you. He also really enjoys doing it inside and seeing you take it all until you can’t anymore and ends dripping some of it, but he prefers to watch you cleaning your face or chest after having his cum all around it.

“Look at you… letting yourself have all my cum around you like a toy… humiliating.” Scaramouche joked as he watched every single drop of his cum eject from his dick to your chest after fucking you in missionary position with a big smirk in his face.

Wanderer: Inside. Wanderer became a very reserved guy after going through the Irminsul, so his love for the power he got from cumming outside was absolutely lost. He also developed a really weird and unexpected perfectionism, so he doesn’t want to be responsible for cleaning up a mess he can avoid.

“Shhh, shhh. It’s ok, it’s ok. Just take it all in and it will be over in a second.” He said neutrally as he came it all inside your womb, holding you still as you trembled in agony of the feeling of being filled up.

D - Dirty Secret (A sexual wish that they have but you still don’t know about)

Scaramouche: Creampie. Scaramouche has a really kinky wish of seeing you dripping (specifically his) cum out of your pussy. Why would he dream such an specific thing? Power. Scaramouche loves that feeling and if he ever had you dripping his seed when it was initially blown inside you, it would be the ultimatum pleasure to him. He just simply doesn’t tell you about it because the amount of orgasms it would take to have you dripping cum is far from your limits. Unfortunately, you are a human. That means you could never take it that far. That’s why he prefers cumming outside you, so you don’t get enough in a single round.

Wanderer: The day Wanderer saw you dressed as Traditional Sumeru dancer (like Nilou) for an annual festival in Sumeru, was the day he first developed a sexual wish with that new identity. It took him a lot of time to realize he was having TOO many dirty thoughts about it and it took him even more to realize he would like to experience sex with you like that. He just doesn’t tell you that secret because it has been months since you wore that costume. It would be too “out of nowhere” and he’s afraid you’ll find that funny. He will wait until next year, and if the idea keeps bothering his sleeping hours, he will find a way to gather the courage he needs and tell you. He has become a very reserved guy, give him a break.

E - Experience (How experienced are they?)

Scaramouche: Before meeting you, Scaramouche had a low body count. He would only do it with prostitutes and only when he was stressed. That means he wasn’t perfect at it when you two started having sex together, which made you underestimate him at the beginning even if he did win you in the very first round. But time goes on, and you two started doing it almost every day. That means he became an expert pretty quickly and overcame your abilities. He could easily make any woman go insane with his sex, but he prefers keeping all his tricks just for you.

Wanderer: In this universe, his past self also had a even lower body count since he would also only do it with prostitutes and he never had a girlfriend. And unfortunately, he lost most of his already low experience throughout the process of deleting his memories in the Irminsul and then regaining them again. He still will pleasure you greatly, but he knows no much more than the basic stuff. At least he’s trying to become better at it just to make you love him more by trying different paces, positions, places and more.

F - Favorite Position (What is their favorite position to do it?)

Scaramouche: Doggy Style. As you probably know by now, Scaramouche is a huge fan of power. So it shouldn’t be unexpected for him to love fucking you from behind brutally. Seeing your back arched to its core, all your hair being pulled into his direction and your buttocks and hips marked with his hands… it just makes him feel too confident.

“I’m barely seconds in… and you already lost the competition… and made a fucking mess.” He cursed, leaning closer to you just to whisper the joke in your ear while pulling your hair slightly.

Wanderer: Spooning. Wanderer is a guy that needs assurance and love 24/7. So, being able to feel most of your skin touching his while having sex somehow reassures him that you are enjoying it as much as him. The fact that he can also shove his mouth on your shoulders to censor his moans and you can’t really see him in that position comforts him. He’s still very reserved about this kind of thing, so he still feels embarrassed to let you see him naked or hear him moaning.

“Do you like it..?” Wanderer asks huskily between wet moans in your shoulder. “Good…” He says, gently smooching your neck afterwards.

G - Goofy (How seriously do they take it?)

Scaramouche: It’s pretty obvious that Scaramouche is pretty goofy when doing it, but in a bad way. He’s not going to make silly comments or compliment you. No… most of the times he’ll annoy you to the last nerve with his typical comments or jokes and destroy your dignity. At least… he’s only goofy with you and only you.

“Hey, why do you seem so frustrated? Weren’t you the one that started this?” He asked, grabbing your wrists and locking them behind you when you tried to hold him down to stop going so fast and got mad at him for not doing so.

Wanderer: Wanderer is absolutely serious when he’s having sex with anyone. He will not make a single joke or comment about anything. It would remind him of his past self, which is pretty uncomfortable to him but he also considers sex a moment of extreme intimacy where no jokes should be done.

“W-What are you smiling at..?” Asked Wanderer insecure about the tiny smile in your face. You two were doing it in missionary this time and you were simply admiring the view right above you. He was the prettiest man you’ve ever seen.

H - Hair (How many hair do they have down there?)

Since they’re the same person and puppet, both of them share the same answer: they have no body hair at all besides their eyebrows and actual hair. Don’t ask me… Ei is who created him…

I - Intimacy (How intimate and romantic are they through it?)

Scaramouche: Initially, Scaramouche wasn’t romantic nor intimate at all. He would simply enjoy the sexual pleasure of the moment and leave you in your bed to sleep after being railed. But within time, he started to get attached to you even if he tried to deny it. So he started to let out some genuine compliments, kiss and hug you through it, spend more time with you after it and tell you his sexual wishes. Even with this tiny development, he still isn’t the most romantic guy. He becomes very embarrassed when the sex gets too real and will try muttering jokes and cover his sounds to make it more savage because he doesn’t understand that sex is a human instinct and that he’s feeling it.

“This is so fucking so good…” He moaned between the wet and breathy kiss, while his hips rocked hard against yours. One of his hands was gripping on your hand tight while the other one was barely breaking your hips. But when he realized how weird that was, he decided to mumble any joke that came to his mind. “Out of all cum sluts out there, you’re definitely my favorite..! This is worth some extra tips…” He tried to joke, even tho he was saying you’re his favorite partner.

Wanderer: Wanderer, in the other hand, is way more intimate with you. Living with Nahida and studying in the Akademiya made him earn some morality and values he would’ve never learned as a Harbinger. Falling in love with you also made him view some things differently and seriously. For example, the day he entered your room when you were changing. He spent days thinking about what he saw and didn’t understand why he felt so amused by it when he had seen many naked women in his life already? That means that he also feels embarrassed when you see him undress at your front. His attention will be 100% at you, looking for any signs or comfort or discomfort, kissing you everywhere and hugging you all the time. He will not say many things and will not make comments at all, but he’ll make sure you two are in the same environment.

“This is amazing… I don’t wanna stop…” Wanderer moaned while throwing his head to the air. You two were having a very hot missionary sex under the sheets and the overwhelming sweat and heat of your bodies was making him feel wonders.

J - Jack Off (How often do they touch themselves?)

Scaramouche: He wouldn’t jack off frequently. When he felt horny he would just go at you, challenge you in something, make it sexual and fulfill his desires there and now. He’d also have sex with you before going away to missions so his wishes wouldn’t disturb him during the mission. But if became too long, like a month or more, he would sit down in a chair or floor and do it. He would also start masturbating when you two had an appointment to have sex and he knew you were arriving soon, so you’d arrive to a very teasing view.

“You… finally arrived..!” Scaramouche said between low groans. He was masturbating in chair, completely backwards to you, already pretty close to his orgasm. “What am I doing? I’m just making these hours of waiting you less useless…” He joked, still not stopping his movements.

Wanderer: No. Absolutely no. Wanderer will try his best to avoid masturbation. Why? Because the only time where he felt that desperate to touch himself like that, Nahida entered the room without knocking on the door. He spent days avoiding her, even if she completely understood that instinct and wanted to apologize for barging in the room without his consent. Even if you’re away for an appointment and he gets hormonal, he’ll prefer to simply close his eyes and imagine you two having sex, rather than jacking his dick up and down.

“No, I’m not gonna do it.” He said to hisself while trying to sleep, changing his position again. His dick was brick hard but he was trying to ignore it. His brain wasn’t helping tho, making him imagine the both of you having sex with some extra erotic details that were only making him more and more horny. “Hell..! Why is this feeling so fucking insistent..?!”

K - Kinks (Do they have any kinks that you know of?)

Scaramouche: Absolutely. Scaramouche has many kinks and fetishes but the ones that most turn him on are degradation and dominance. Taking control of things and putting people in their place has always been the thing he’s most good at and also his favorite thing. So it isn’t hard for him to do it in sex nor uncomfortable. He’ll make you suck him like a leech, he’ll leave your ass cheeks red from the quantity of slaps given there, he’ll make you beg for him and way more… this guy is an iceberg you don’t wanna go through…

“Show me how much you want this, you little slut.” Scaramouche ordered while fucking you from behind brutally, making you instantly arch your back. “Bending it all over me like a fucking dog in heat… pathetic.” He commented, gripping on your hips tighter.

Wanderer: The only kink you know Wanderer possesses by now is Bondage. He’s not into extreme bondage where you can’t do anything at all, but instead simple things like a single blindfold, or handcuffs or both. That doesn’t mean he’ll absolutely rail you when doing so, actually he’ll be pretty careful with your pleasure now that you’re extra vulnerable. What he likes on it is the control of the handcuffs and the privacy he gets from the blindfold. For example, whenever you or him want to try a new position, he’ll try to ask you to wear a blindfold because he doesn’t want you to see him trying something new at all. He’s afraid he’s terrible at whatever you or him ask for.

“Is it too tight?” He asks you gently, after finishing the knot on the blindfold, with his head in your shoulders. “Alright then… may I start?” He asks, gripping on your wrists even if they were already handcuffed.

L - Location (Where do they most like to do it? And why?)

Scaramouche: Honestly… anywhere. Scaramouche doesn’t really care whether the door is open or closed or if it’s cold or hot outside. He’d do it in Tsaritsa’s bed if he had the chance. He usually prefers places where you can be heard or seen tho. He likes to make it clear to everyone that you are his.

“So what if the door is open? I’d let them see if I was you! Then they’d all know they have no chance with you because all that would go through your mind would be me topping you like this, and my cock making your insides mush.” Scaramouche joked while fucking you from behind in a restaurant’s public bathroom.

Wanderer: Anywhere that is private. Wanderer doesn’t want to be seen at all and especially… doesn’t anyone to see you. He’s very reserved about hisself but if anyone saw you in such an erotic state, blindfolded, handcuffed… he would probably threaten the person’s life. So, he’ll always makes sure nobody’s around, the door is locked and the windows are closed. But especially… he’d make sure Nahida wasn’t nearby.

“Don’t be so impatient. It would be irresponsible of me to leave the windows open.” Wanderer said while closing the windows in his room, pretty annoyed at your petty impatience to have sex with him.

M - Motivation (What makes them keep doing it with you?)

Scaramouche: Your persistence. Scaramouche really likes how you attract him into sex and how you fuck with him. You always bring different “challenges” to him, whispering in his ears and wearing lingeries under your uniform, which already turns him on instantly. But, since you usually lose the challenges, especially the ones you did, it makes him like the experiences even more. After the first time you two did it, where you lost, Scaramouche thought you’d never ask him for it again. But you did, and he was very surprised (in a good way). You turned a switch you can’t turn off. And now, he’ll constantly challenge you in bed.

“You really wanna challenge me into who’s cumming first again? Even if all the times you’ve done that were a victory for me? Ha… I wonder whether you’re challenging me or yourself.” He teased, already turned on, as he walked closer to you undoing his pants.

Wanderer: His love for you doesn’t only make him keep having sex with you but also makes him keep living. The care that you have for him didn’t seem to change even if you didn’t know his past self anymore. That makes him feel he won’t be betrayed romantically even if you’re a social butterfly. But… since you’re a human, it means that you’ll have to go one day (more known as “betray” in his head). So he wants to enjoy every second of you, the same way he wants you to enjoy every second of him. The way that you reassure him of his insecurities and traumas naturally just gives him too much pleasure, sexually or not.

“Say that again…” He whimpered in your ear desperately after you moaned that you loved his sex meanwhile he fucked you from behind. The way he moaned after you repeated it, this time with an “I love you”, was animalistic. “Oh god… say that again… just keep saying that…” He begged while accelerating his pace, too embarrassed to tell you he loves you back.

N - No (What are things they would never do while having sex? And why?)

Scaramouche: Scaramouche thought he didn’t have any no’s in sex until the day you joked about calling him Kabukimono during it. He laughed at first but soon realized he actually hated that idea and kinda got mad at you for suggesting something so disgusting like that. It just felt wrong to have you calling him a nickname that came from people that had all betrayed him one day. His mother, his best friend and a sick kid? No. Just no. His name is Scaramouche and his title is The Balladeer. That’s all you can name him as.

“You only realized that what you said about calling me by my past name, given to me by worthless people, was terrible now?” Scaramouche asked angrily but also jokingly, avoiding eye contact like you were truly disgusting. You really didn’t know that those names were that triggering to him and genuinely felt bad for him.

Wanderer: Wanderer has many more no’s compared to his past self and you. But aside from his past wishes he’s and the obvious no’s, his weirdest no in sex is you riding him. He just can’t feel comfortable in that position at all. You are the one who locks his hands against the bed, settle a rhythm for him to follow and especially, see him in such a vulnerable state. He has been through so much humiliation and manipulation in his life that he really wants to stay far from anything that gives him the slightest feeling of being used. And that position gives him that same feeling.

“N-No..! I don’t like this! Please stop..!” He asked desperately out of nowhere. You stopped riding him immediately and quit the position in a second, trying to comfort him and understand what was going on. It was the first time you two were trying that position and you were going very slow. “I-I’m sorry, I just… don’t like to see myself in this position...” He explained, completely embarrassed for ruining the moment and gasping for air.

O - Oral (Do they prefer giving or receiving?)

Scaramouche: Giving. Scaramouche loves to see you crumbling from above him while he’s giving you a cunnilingus. And trust me, he is good at it. He’ll do it until your legs are trembling, trying their best to smash his head further inside you, until all you can mutter are moans and pleads for him to either fuck you or go faster. Even if he’s not a huge fan of your hands gripping on his hair for dear life, he likes the fact that it basically means you are feeling the agony of being touched in such a sensible spot.

“I know, I know… but I’m having so much fun toying you here that I just… don’t wanna leave. Not until I’m satisfied.” Scara said between licks and breathes on your sensible clit. He continued to mouth you everywhere for barely an hour without breaking eye contact. Not even for a mere second.

Wanderer: Receiving. Wanderer is indeed a very reserved guy, that’s why you were so surprised to him like oral sex that much when you two first tried it. He was trying his best to not grip your hair too hard, to swallow his moans in, but it was too much for him. To have you kneeling at his front, sucking him so passionately and obediently was just too perfect for him. He felt such a huge feeling of power and privacy that made him fall in love with it. He never asks for it tho, because it is indeed a very embarrassing position for him.

“I-I’m sorry… I can’t hold it… this is too good…” He said between deep breathes, whimpers and moans as he gripped on your head tight to make you suck him faster. He was against a wall, barely managing to stand up. His other hand was trying its best to not grip on your head as well, scratching the wall for dear life.

P - Pace (Are they quick or slow? Rough or gentle?)

Scaramouche: It depends on what are you or him trying to do exactly. If he wants to edge you, he’ll go as rough as possible but torturously slow. If he wants you to cum faster than him, he’ll go as quick and rough as possible. He’s never going to be gentle to you, even if it’s supposed to be a more romantic sex.

“You like it here, yeah? Then I’ll fuck you right here until you’re brainless…” He commented, completely lustful for you and the moment as he roughly and slowly thrusted you all the way to your cervix, making you scream at each thrust.

Wanderer: He’ll most likely going to be slow and gentle most of the times. He wants this kind of moment to last as much as it can so both of you savor each other as much as you can, remember the feeling of doing that with each other and long to savor it again. He’ll never be rough with you, not at Scaramouche’s level. He’ll maybe go quick at you depending on the situation but usually he’ll just accelerate when you or him are close to climaxing.

“Faster..?” He asked, almost sounding like a husky whimper, when you whispered the command. “I will, my love… I will…” He said a little louder as he gripped and pushed your wrists harder in the bed and begun accelerating.

Q - Quickies (What do they think of quickies?)

Scaramouche: No matter where you two are, he’ll always ask for it when he finds the opportunity to have sex. A third person in the room said they’d go to the bathroom because they’re not feeling well and think they’ll vomit? He’ll not let you go help, instead, he’ll give you oral sex. Even if you two are caught he’ll most likely not going to stop. Why would he? It’s free porn for whoever is watching anyway… and he’ll obviously be more obvious about it if the environment is private.

“This is a nice kitchen, isn’t it?” He asked playfully as soon as the last maid left the scene and closed the door behind you two. “The maids’ lunch last around 30 minutes… do you know what can we do in these 30 minutes?” He asked, stepping closer to you with a smirk forming in his face. “Hint: it’s something I’ve been longing for a while now…” He said, finally pinching your chin and pulling you for a hot kiss.

Wanderer: Wanderer is actually a big hater of quickies and will only do it if you want it, there’s time for an orgasm and no possible intruders. For example, morning sex. If he’s the one that wants it, he’ll just hold it until it’s safe and nighttime. He thinks quickies ruin the entire meaning of sex. The closure, intimacy, love and lust is barely existent when the intent of it is being quick.

“Are you sure..? You have many work to do today, I don’t want you to be late.” He asked you, his mouth centimeters away from yours as he held your hips gracefully. You slowly pulled him with you to the bed behind you as you said “yes”. “Are you really, really sure..?” He asked you again, and you finally convinced him that you wanted it.

R - Risks (How far are they willing to risk?)

Scaramouche: He’ll risk whatever goes through his or your mind. Public sex? Yes. Elemental Reactions during sex? Yes. Upside down sex? Yes. Sex inside Shouki no Kami? Sounds fun. He’s going to risk everything possible aside from his single no and your no’s if you even some.

“What about… a good old missionary at night, in the Anemo Archon’s statue? In the hands more specifically.” He asked as he stared at the statue with you. You had a mission to investigate the location of the Anemo Gnosis but he insisted on going with you since he had nothing to do.

Wanderer: Barely anything. All that he’s willing to try new fetishes and positions but it has to be in a extremely private scenario. Anything that is public or dangerous to your health will be instantly denied by him.

“Are you serious?” Asked Wanderer after you suggested having sex in the snow of Snezhnaya’s high mountains. “No. Absolutely not. I don’t want you to freeze to death because of a weird fetish. Here, just put this on and let’s continue.” He denied, giving you his hat in order to try warning you up better, insecure about your state.

S - Stamina (How far can they go?)

Since they’re the same person, they both have the answer, which is: days. They’re puppets, they were made to last way longer than a normal human being. Both of them could go as far as they wished to, but they know you are a mere human that can barely last a round. So they just decide to go until your limit.

T - Toys (Do they use toys? Which ones?)

Scaramouche: Personally, Scaramouche doesn’t really like to use toys. He likes natural sex, so that he can control you the way he wants to and show you how no one is better than him. And if there was a dildo shoved inside you rather than his actual dick, it’d make you feel better, and believe it or not, that thought actually makes him feel a little insecure. He also owns a plastic dick, so why don’t you feel better with his? So he decided to throw them away. But don’t you think it’s over! He owns a Vision and Illusion and he makes sure to use them greatly against you when he feels like it. So prepare to have your pussy zapped when receiving a cunnilingus…

“Harder..? How hard do you want it, huh? Like this?” He asked you jokingly before slightly zapping your clit using his fingers. “Ha… you actually seem to like this, don’t you..?” Scaramouche asked with a curious smirk before continuing moving his hand in and out of your pussy. But now with sudden zaps with no rythym to catch up on, making you have a pretty messy, electrical orgasm.

Wanderer: Since Wanderer like to have you using handcuffs and blindfolds, he can’t really say that he doesn’t like using toys. But he doesn’t feel like using any other toys rather than these two. Even after going through a rough existential crisis, he somehow still feels insecure about vibrators…

“These look so pretty in you, my love…” Wanderer complimented, gently caressing your wrists that had just been handcuffed with your newest pair of red handcuffs.

U - Unfair (How unfair and teasing are they with you?)

Scaramouche: Just like mentioned in G section, Scaramouche will always try to make the situation unfair to you. He’ll put you in difficult positions and situations, tease you both mentally and physically in search of full control of you and go silent to make you feel dirty by yourself. Even after sex he’ll mess with you! He wants you to go home with the thoughts of him. And it works, because no matter how unfair he is with you, you still play your part in his little game.

“The more you complain and beg, the more I’ll remain here.” Scaramouche threatened as he fingered you robotically, making you go nuts with such effortless thrusts.

Wanderer: The only unfair thing Wanderer might do in sex is taking his clothes off way after he took yours off. After that he’s an absolute angel. Why? Because he just wants to live a common human life, and you letting him have the experience of a romantic relationship and sex makes it so much better and real to his eyes. He’ll spend the rest of your days cherishing you.

“Sorry… I’ll take my clothes off now…” Wanderer said embarrassed at having you asking him that. But you two were making out for some good minutes by now and only you were naked for no reason.

V - Volume (How high are they? And what sounds do they make?)

Scaramouche: A stressed guy like Scaramouche barely makes any sound during sex at all. Initially, it was just because you two weren’t intimate, but it quickly became his thing. He wanted not only to hear all of you, but wanted you to hear yourself, moaning and whining so dirtily and desperately for the amount of pleasure he gave you. He’d be extra silent if you two could be heard or seen by a possible intruder having sex in a risky area. But he can go fully silent, and he does if he was doing it not on his mood, for example, if you challenged him in a time where he wasn’t longing for you. He’d be smirking the entire time, hearing you spill it all out while he was as quiet as a rock. But when he’s feeling pleasure, he’ll hiss a lot and groan shortly with his mouth closed most of the times.

“Are you trying to get attention, huh? Making so much noise over so little… I can’t wait to hear how high you’ll be screaming when I cum inside you.” Scaramouche whispered in your ear, trying his best to not let out a single moan, even if he was feeling as much pleasure as you.

Wanderer: Wanderer is also a pretty quiet boy when having sex, but this time is because he still doesn’t know how to express his pleasure. He feels so embarrassed and dirty making that kind of noise, afraid that you’d find him perverted or anything. It’s an irrational insecurity, he knows. You would moan and scream until all the air inside your lungs was gone and he wouldn’t think you were perverted like he thought it would happen to him. But he is slowly letting himself be more and more louder with you by slightly moaning in your ears and breathing hard.

“You only keep tightening around me…” Wanderer commented between low groans and pants, trying to not make too much noise. “I want more…” He confessed, pushing you and him to the corner of the table to have a better angle to thrust you deep.

W - Wild Card (A random headcannon)

Scaramouche: He really likes kimonos. Since he’s from Inazuma, he was grown in a culture where kimonos are top fashion. That’s why his own uniform was designed with both Snezhnayan and Inazuman fashion. But during a mission assigned to you two in Inazuma of spying on the Shogun, the date coincidentally fell on a traditional Inazuman festival which you two decided to participate in search of the Shogun’s presence. But he totally forgot that during this day, the participants were supposed to wear kimonos to fit in, and oh… my… god. He couldn’t stop staring at you. He thought you looked beautiful in one but because of your relationship with him, it also made him feel turned on. He pulled to the first corner he saw and gave you a leg-shivering oral.

“You’re so lucky… that this dress is rented… or else I would be fucking you to oblivion in it right now… and ripping it apart after cumming all around it…” He teased between licks and breathes on your warm pussy he was eating.

Wanderer: Wanderer has a weird curiosity on the female human body and always likes to stare you at you like a piece of art whenever he’s seeing you naked. He thinks it’s so smaller than a male’s… but the curves and shape are so much prettier… he can’t describe it at all. But he really likes to stare at your anatomy while doing it with him or sleeping with him after it. And oh if you dare to try putting your clothes on after it.

“No, no. Stay right here. We have a blanket for that.” Wanderer said, pulling you through your wrist back to the bed, covering your body with your blanket afterwards. He waited until you were asleep to begin touching a piece of a hair while he looked at you up and down repeatedly.

X - X-Ray (How big are they?)

Since they’re the same person and puppet, both of them share the same answer: average sized. Even if Ei did put a dick in his body during his creation, she was no pervert and made it sized enough for an average vagina. He also cannot change its size or thickness, but he wish he could adjust to the perfect size to fill you all up with each thrust just he can adjust his neck and arms…

Y - Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)

Scaramouche: It is obviously pretty high, but he will never tell you that. He gets turned on with almost everything that you do. Your voice, body, manners, clothes… but he only shows his thirst for you when either you or him challenge each other in bed. The feeling of challenging or being challenged excites him a lot, and you know that he never resists when you whisper one in his ear. You’re still the one that takes most initiative in sex tho, but Scaramouche is probably going to take lead in that as well soon.

“You know just how to make me fuck you, don’t you?” Scaramouche asked, turning his face to you with a lusty smirk in his face. He was sat down at a chair in his office and you were whispering naughty thoughts right in his ear. You were asking for lose your ability to walk.

Wanderer: His sex drive is pretty average. He doesn’t get turned on with absolutely everything but still can feel amused with common daily things such as leaning your back to reach something that feel in the floor and jealously. Still, you’re definitely the one that takes most initiative in sex, to either make it or try something new.

“Can we… you know…” Wanderer whispered in your ear very lowly, completely out of nowhere and unable to finish the sentence. You two were simply about to sleep in a spooning position again. “Can we have sex..?” He finally said it, making the situation unnecessarily tense and sexual.

Z - Zzz… (How long does it take for them to sleep after it?)

Scaramouche: You two don’t usually do it in nighttime, which naturally decreases the amounts of nights you have him sleeping with you, but even when it is, he’ll most likely wait for you to sleep in his arms and leave the scene quietly after some long minutes or hours. He’s a puppet, he doesn’t need to sleep. But the more you two explore and discover more about each other, the more he feels like letting himself get a bit of a rest after it by your side, hugging you like a squid using its tentacles. Don’t blame him, nightmares torment most of the nights he decides to sleep.

Wanderer: A few minutes. Wanderer doesn’t need to sleep as well, but he usually feels so in-love and thankful for you after a hot, lusty and tiring night of sex that he allows himself to relax and enjoy the beauty of the woman in front of him until he finally decided to close his eyes. And when he does, he’ll hug you very tight just like Scaramouche would and put your head under his for the instinct of protecting you from this cruel world. Plus, when he realized that he never had a single nightmare when sleeping with you, he stopped sneaking out and leaving the scene after you fall asleep, no matter how much he needs to do something outside the bed. He’ll reciprocate the comfort you give him every day.

#scaramouche #genshin scara #scara x reader #wanderer #wanderer genshin #wanderer x reader #genshin smut #genshin impact #smut #abc

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withleeknow · 5 months

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hiya! I noticed you have your requests open and if you don't mind, could I please suggest: "for once... I was right" with "don't you dare walk away from me" for Lee Know - maybe angsty but I don't mind you just going with the flow.

thank you!

blue hour.

pairing: minho x reader genre/warnings: exes au, exes to ...? 🫢, angst; minho's pov mostly, open ending kinda, some light cursing, unedited don't look at me word count: 2.2k (i got carried away a little bit) listen to 🎧: breathe again - sara bareilles

as always, i’d appreciate any thoughts or comments you may have, and please drop a like and/or reblog if you enjoy reading ♡

navigation › masterlist › ko-fi

“this should be the last of your things.”

“thanks,” you say, rummaging through the box that minho hands over to you. everything that you left at his place throughout the entire time you were together; every sweatshirt of yours in his closet, every piece of jewelry on his nightstand, every bottle of nail polish that you kept in his bathroom reserved for nights where you two would pamper each other. they're all here, except for... “did you see my red scarf though? i can’t find it anywhere.”

“no, i checked,” he says. “this is everything.”

“hmm, okay.”

you hold the box between your arms, and minho can’t help but feel something twist painfully in his chest. it’s like you're holding your relationship, or what’s left of it anyway, ready to make your swift exit from his life. two years of love, all dumped into one stupid cardboard box.

you both stand there in silence for what feels like forever, just staring at each other, then at your surroundings, neither of you saying anything. minho knows why he hasn’t bid you a farewell goodnight yet; it’s because he doesn’t want this to end. even though it’s a sad occasion, the finale to your story, he still wants to the seconds to stretch on, for the minutes to last longer. after all, isn’t this the last time he'll ever see you?

why you haven’t left him to his devices and gone upstairs, he isn’t sure.

another moment passes. life goes on but it seems like you two are in your own bubble where nothing moves forward. everything stays rooted to the spot.

“do you want to go for a walk?” you ask after a while. the question surprises minho enough that he lets it show, and it makes you quickly tack on an excuse. “the weather is nice and i... i don’t want to be on my own.”

yes, he does want to go for a walk with you. anything to be with you even if it’s only for a moment longer.

“sure,” he says. “let’s go for a walk.”

“okay. i’ll leave this upstairs and get my jacket.”

he watches as you disappear inside your building, only to reemerge momentarily afterward, a wool jacket draped over your frame. he wishes you’d worn something lighter, just so he could have an excuse to wrap his arm around your shoulders if it gets colder.

you walk side by side around your neighborhood, a distance between your bodies that never used to be there before. it’s strange, of course it is. but minho supposes this is yours and his new reality now.

“how are the cats?” you ask.

“they’re okay. dori had a cold a couple weeks ago, but everything’s fine now,” he tells you. “they... they miss you.”

i miss you too - that's a thought that he doesn’t say out loud, only keeps it to himself because it feels too humiliating to utter those words to you.

“they’re cats. how can you tell?”

“i can always tell.” he shrugs. “they wait by the door when i’m already home. they sleep on your-... they sleep on the other side of the bed.”

if you notice his slip up, you don’t say anything. you purse your lips and nod somberly, stuffing your hands in your pockets. “they’ll forget about me soon enough,” you say.

minho glances at you. he wants to rebuke that statement, to argue with you over something as silly as whether or not his freaking cats will retain their memories of you in the future. but he just bites his tongue and swallows down the lump in his throat, humming to let you know that he’s heard what you said. not a hum of agreement, just one of acknowledgement.

“how’s work?” he asks. god, it’s just so fucking weird to be asking you these things. you know each other inside and out and yet, you’re here making small talk.

torn apart when all you two should be is together.

“it’s alright. still the same, kinda boring. you know there’s not a lot that can happen in that place in one month.”

yes, because it’s been a little over a month since you parted ways, since you moved back into your old apartment and left his home perpetually cold and empty. he can’t blame you for leaving when he was the one who agreed to break up. he can’t blame you for his heartache when he was the one who broke your heart first.

he didn’t mean to, but isn’t that what they all say?

“do you still want to leave?”

“sure,” you reply. “if i can find something better, i’d leave that place in a heartbeat. but for now, it’ll have to do. it used to be a bit more bearable though.”

“i hope you find something that makes you happier.”

“thanks.” you give him a smile but it doesn't reach your eyes. “how about you? how’s life?”

minho almost says the first thing that comes into mind. life is terrible without you. i think about you every single minute of every day but you're not here and it’s my own damn fault.

he could lie and come up with something much more palatable, because he doesn’t reckon his truth is something you’d like to hear right now.

but he doesn’t want to lie to you. in the time that you were together, minho never lied to you, not even once, not even over something stupid and insignificant. beside, he’s got a feeling that you would see through his bullshit anyway.

his answer ends up being a sad shrug, then, “it’s life. i’m hanging in there.”

your footsteps slow until you stop completely. this makes him stop too, turning around to look at you with his head tilted to one side, confused.

“it’s not like you to sound so defeated,” you comment.

“what?” he asks with a sigh. “it’s the truth.”

“it’s not the whole truth.”

“what do you want me to say?”

“i want you to be honest with me,” you tell him, your shoulders slumping just slightly. “i still care about you. i want to know you’re okay.”

minho takes a step closer until he’s right in front of you, the closest that you two have been all night. his body feels the warmth radiating from yours but he has to ball his hands into fists to keep from reaching out and touching you.

“if you really want to know, i haven’t been myself since you left.”

guilt flashes in your eyes. it wasn’t his intention at all.

you bite your bottom lip, inhale a shaky breath, before you speak, “i’m sorry for leaving.”

“don’t apologize. i’m sorry for driving you away.”

then he watches the tears well up as you look at him. he’s been wondering this the whole night, how you seem so cavalier about it all, how you’re able to speak to him so casually as if you’re just old friends with some shared history, and not as though the wound is still fresh. he’s still bleeding and you’re acting like you’ve already healed.

but he sees it now. you’re just as sad as he is, just as miserable. the only difference is you’re better at hiding it, or maybe you’ve just had more time to get used to the way it hurts.

is this how you felt in the weeks, the months, leading up to your departure? every time he neglected you, prioritized something else over you, missed every date and overlooked every text message? every single instance where he was too busy for you?

he never wanted to break your heart, but alas, here you are.

he didn’t want you to go, and yet, when you felt like you couldn’t handle the loneliness anymore, he hadn’t stopped you from walking out the door. he gave up, and he gave up so easily.

nothing along the lines of ‘don’t you dare walk away from me’, no tearful argument, no explosive and definitive end to your relationship. minho just let your love slip away.

how must that have made you feel on top of everything that he did - or didn’t do - to you?

minho has been called every variation of ‘cold’ before. to everyone else, he’s callous, rough, intimidating and unapproachable. but to you, he’s kind, soft, gentle and loving. it never mattered what anyone thought of him, as long as you always knew that he loved you, that you saw him for who he was.

but toward the end, what if you saw him how the others did? what if you had deemed him cold too?

the mere thought makes him sick to his stomach.

you sniffle, wiping at your eyes. “you don’t have to say that. it’s in the past now.”

fracture upon fracture upon fracture. minho doesn’t know how much more of this his heart can take.

his fingers twitch, and before he can stop himself, he’s reaching for your hands. to his surprise, you let him.

your hands, so delicate in his, so warm.

“i should’ve fought harder for you,” he says, his voice so small that you barely catch the words at all.

but his eyes… he hopes you can see it in his eyes - the regret, the longing, the pain of losing you dimming the light of the stars he holds there.

giving his hands a light squeeze, you say, “and maybe i should’ve held on tighter instead of letting go.”

“i made you feel like you weren’t enough. it’s the worst thing i ever did to you. i understand why you left.”

you try to calm your breathing, because you really don’t feel like breaking down in front of him right now. you don’t say anything in response; what are you even supposed to say? you told him everything that you wanted to the night that you two broke up. everything that you tried to bottle up for months was laid on the table that night. you watched as he listened to you, watched as his heart broke alongside yours. that was it.

“i… i’m sorry,” minho stutters, and for the first time since you’ve known him, he looks scared. “i’m sorry. can’t we try again? i swear i won’t let you down again. i swear to you.”

“min…” the nickname slips out of habit and for a second there, minho thinks you would say yes. but then… “i know you’re sorry. i know we didn’t break things off because we fell out of love. but i don’t think you’re at a point in your life where i can be the most important thing right now. you may not mean to, but there’ll be things that you prioritize over me… and i’m not at a place in my life where i can settle for being on someone’s back burner either. the timing’s just off. it’s not your fault, life just got in the way.”

minho stares at you, the stars dying out one by one. the hurt is beyond what any word can describe but in a way, he understands. it fucking sucks, but he gets it. he has to accept it now.

he nods solemnly, tracing odd patterns on your palms. then he asks, quietly, “can i hold you? just for a while.”

please indulge me, he thinks. this is the last thing i’ll ever ask from you.

you don’t reply with words. instead, you wrap your arms around his neck, pulling him into you. you two stay there in each other’s embrace for god knows how long. it could’ve been minutes or it could’ve been hours. you always lose track of time when you’re wrapped up together.

you hold him like he - tough and intimidating minho - is made of glass, and he holds you like he doesn’t ever want to let you go.

but he has to eventually.

you untangle yourself from him to find that he’s been crying. the tears on his cheeks catch the light from the street lamps, reflecting like crystals in the night. when you wipe them away, you tell him, “for once, i was right.”

“about what?” he sniffles.

“you really are a hopeless romantic,” you smile, trying to lighten the mood. as much as you can anyway. “i knew you’d prove me right one day.”

minho wants to scoff but his eyes are burning from the tears and his throat feels like it's closing up, so he lets you have this one. the last one, right?

maybe he is a romantic, and maybe it’s only for you. maybe it makes him a little hopeless.

the walk back to yours ends too quickly. but truth be told, even if you had walked together until the sun came up, it still wouldn’t have been long enough for him.

you both stand there, two heavy hearts looking at each other, looking for one another.

there’s no goodbye, only goodnight.

and you’re the one who says it first.

minho returns your sentiment with a choked up voice, a brush of his fingers against yours, and when you finally turn to walk up the steps, his gaze lingers on your retreating figure.

then he calls your name softly. “hey, uhm... i’ll let you know if the scarf turns up, okay?”

you turn back with a knowing smile. it’s still sad, but there’s some faith hidden there.

“i hope it will.”

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#stray kids fic #stray kids imagines #stray kids x reader #skz fic #skz imagines #skz x reader #skz x you #lee know angst #lee know scenarios #lee know x reader #lee know imagines #lee know x you #lee minho x reader #lee minho x you #stray kids #lee know #lee minho

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