I’ve been letting the later books get to me a little bit too much. Clarke himself sort of hand waved the inconsistencies with “they’re all different universes” - there’s no set ‘canon’ beyond 2001. It’s the root of all the others. He quite literally invites you to pick and choose your own canon.

Idk I got a little too upset with it all and maybe he was right about hand waving. I feel at peace lmao. To me it can just me 2001 and 2010 with some backstory from 3001 but that’s it.

World peace. 💕

You're the meaning in my life, you're the inspiration...

The Maiden of the Barren of the Rime wouldn't exist if it weren't for Critical Role, Liam O'brien, and most importantly Caleb Widogast.

I'm sure every Critter out there has asked themself the question: 'What character would I play if I ever got to play at the table?' My answer was Mina.

Mina, originally, was a ranger/bard eladrin cursed to stay forever in the winter season. Specifically made with Campaign 2 in mind, I wanted to design a PC that would create a good juxtaposition to those already at the table. A literal iceblock that the Mighty Nein could chip away at as they often did with too-serious NPCs, and someone who could be mirror to Caleb, my favorite PC from Campaign 2.

As Campaign 2 steered it paths towards Aeor and the Eyes of Nine however, Mina didn't fit in the campaign any more (as most fandom OCs will do as canon goes along) but I couldn't abandon her. Couldn't throw her into my constantly growing pile of character sheets.

And she wouldn't let me forget her. In fact, her and her eventual counterpart, Sebastian, are some of the first characters of mine in recent memory to invade my dreams.

There was something in her I had to explore. Her rage echoed my rage. Her want to overcome her trauma, but fear that she would always be chained by it, mirrored my own healing journey.

Other characteristics of myself and themes I wanted to explore became the other characters. Sebastian became the other side of Mina's coin, someone who met inconveniences with relentless optimism instead of rage. A self-sacrificing people-pleaser against a self-preserving misanthrope, whose flaws both came from coping with past hardships.

A dirty little fire wizard sparked a rich story exploring the societal expectations of womanhood, the nature of generational trauma, and the complex journey of learning how to love one's self through others (among many other themes)...

...and a incredible talented singer/songwriter from Ireland helped hone them.

When I first started writing The Maiden of the Barren Rime in 2021, Hozier's music played an important, but minimal roll in providing emotional clarity for the characters. "Angel of Small Death and the Codeine Scene" helped to color the more ethereal and deadly nature of Mina, the fae part of her that lures people in, while "Nina Cried Power" grounded her fury, and helped to shape the larger world of Mina's story that will be revealed in later books.

As the core of the novel was written and finished in January 2023, the editing and refining process became my next great beast to slay. A huge slab of marble that with my fantastic editor and outside readers I was able to carve away at, but Hozier's Unreal Unearth steadied my hands.

It was already a wild enough coincidence that 'Blood Upon the Snow', a song meant to capture the brutality of winter in God of War: Ragnorak, released during writing MBR; eerily capturing exactly how I pictured Mina's upbringing. Hearing Unreal Unearth, a beautiful album about heartbreak, healing, death, and grief among other things, while I was writing an novel about heartbreak, healing, death, and grief among other things was surreal. And wonderful.

It helped to inspire the words I was missing, helped me carve out more cutting prose to capture the depth of my characters' emotions, and most importantly gave me the reassurance that the themes and emotions I was exploring were not singular, but shared. In different shades and presentations, but all coming from a same source of universal human truth.

I can not thank these two enough for the inspiration they've given me, and I can not thank you enough if you've read this much of my ramblings (and suffered my cheesy use of a Chicago lyric.)

Weirdboygirl Percy headcanons

(But it's almost entierly me just sharing my friends' because i'm a sap who wants them to be appreciated /lh)

When i say 'weirdboygirl',i mean it-Percy is transfem bigender and autistic with no masking ability based off canon subtext that borderlines on straight up text.He's also afrolatina/monoracial black dominican for the same reason and he's mostly femme but has a decent amount of masc thrown in there for gender fuckery and he's crustpunk with pastel/kidcore elements thrown in

He's a huge gamer who's got his own low cost setup and only dosen't do Lets Plays even though he has a vlog channel because with how he is that's setting himself up for getting viral meme'd

He thinks adult only shows and movies are absolute ass due to being too dark so he watches pg ones only including pre-schooler ones(Bluey is his favorite obviously)and he has no shame in it since he's not a freak about it

She listens to obscure podcasts and rambles about them and she's a part time artist thanks to her and Rachel being queerplatonic besties but she dosen't do grand materpieces and just draws weird shit and same for crafts

Her favorite musicians are nostalgic ex-weirdkid ones like My Chemical Romance and All Time Low and The Cheetah Girls and then it's shit like Everybody's Worried about Owen and The Cure and Meet Me @ The Altar and Metallica and a bunch of transfem artists and general genres they love are Lo-Fi Beats,Breakcore and Punk Rock

Her special interests are blue,video games,kidcore,cats and anarchy.Blue is not Percy's lifestyle but Percy's way of life,she plays only free games and uses an emulator for the rest,kidcore is a huge coping mechanism from her extremely brutal childhood,she employs a lot cat based things in their daily life and even naturally acts like a cat sometimes including a meowing vocal stim and she goes full force in Tales of Dead Seas,a Hoo one year later sequel that's about Percy dismantleing the greco-roman mythos world system starting with killing Zeus and things go up hill for everybody who's not a dickbag from there and this includes Percy gaining new powers even pre-deicide but actually having mentors this time and she actively helps out with activism in addition to all her direct action across all 5 books of her last official story

The only sea related things they love are because Sally does so she raised them in them all the time and they've got mixed feelings on them post claiming because of how awful Poseidon is but they very slowly reclaim it for themselves and the process is given big boost when their egg cracks as they use mermaid/seapunk aesthetics for presentation and their personality a little too and it gives them gender euphoria

They refuse to drink energy drinks that aren't blue colored so they have a whole stash of them and junk food too with a threatning note attached to it,their go to store is unironically Claire's and they made sure to beat the Hot Topic allegations by loud and proud announcing how much they hate them for being sellouts and fakeout freaks and they're neither a skater boy nor a surfer dude because ewww but a guitarist and a multitask helper at the Familia Jackson Beach Shack

He's also Nico and Hazel's eldest sibling figure and pseudo-dad that got them away from Hades forever and Sally legally adopted them so they all live together in the mortal world and stick together as a trio too in the mythos world.He's their caregiver but also their best friend and radicalized them and taught them how to be punks,Nico choosing tradgoth and Hazel pastel goth.Their relathionship is extremely intimate and equally silly but that dosen't mean they never had problems to unpack and fix-Siblings aren't perfect but real siblings are the ones who try to be anyway and don't expect eternal forgiveness regardless.That's what makes us siblings,not JUST blood

And they healed his inner child a lot just by hanging out with him and loving him and letting him take full responsibility in their best friendship and on the other end there's nobody who's helped Nico and Hazel heal and be stronger and be themselves like Percy has.They're eachother's whole world and multiverse and rubbed off on eachother significantly(Nico and Percy's love for video games,Percy and Hazel's artistry,Hazel and Nico's taste in food,all three of their love for kiddy things)and Percy helps Hazel with girls

He was Warrior Cats kid and gets back into it as an adult and loves it even more and yes,he roleplayed it his classmates during recess yet they pretended they hadn't and mocked and animalized him for years because how long his hyperfixation it is lasted and that's why he gave it up in his teenage years but returned to it and reclaimed the catlike behavior it gave him as autistic swag

Percy's five love languages:Humor,comfort,justice,unrestrained fun and diy'd gifts.All giving and recieving and none strictly platonic or romantic,Love is stored in the Percy

She knows how to diy so many things it's a running gag and includes things that don't exist,her biggest comfort characters are:Cookie Monster,Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy(she's a huge Flutterdash stan so she refuses to seperate them),Brandy's Cinderella,Shego,Cookie Nessa and Marina from Nintendo,Yang Xiao Long,Katara,Sonic The Hedgehog,Amy Rose and the Adventure Time Cast as a whole and her type is other autistic afrolatinos/afrolatinas who're pastel punk to her crustpunk

He (jokingly) kins Hobbie Brown and Gwen Stacy and looks like she could be Hobie's older brother

She acts and talks in ways people find offputting and strange but by now she's learned to stop being ashamed and happily embraced that she'll never be normal but that that dosen't mean she's not loved dearly and by so many people and realized that's what she truly wanted from the start instead of not being different from everyone else.Because she's the most awesome as all fuck person ever

RIZZ CITYYYYYYYYYY,HE'S FROM MANSHATTAN

ATG 13 - Bear? Bare

In which there is a surprise in the woods.

Pairing: Halsin/Tav SPICE Rating: 4/5 Content Warnings: Sex, Bondage, rough sex,     

Spoilers Act 3, Halsin Romance Canon Compliance Canon adjacent and close to Halsin's romance scene with a bit of my traditional embellishment to add some extra flavour.  Other Notes Introducing Halsin's poly dynamic to Tav first, there will be more later where we bring Astarion back into the story more at the conclusion of his quest Mood/Song Run Wild by Valkyrik "Come find us in the woods tonight But before the nighttime turns to day I'll let the melody take way I'm leaving reservations behind (Behind) Now the sun is rising It's energising The shadows are melting away There's a drum beat breaking into my bones Crushing the ice and crumbling to stone And the melody of the night keeps calling me Louder and louder and louder I wanna run wild I wanna run free I wanna move like the stars are a part of me."

Tav watched as Halsin paced the room, wondering if his boots would wear a permanent path in the floorboards. She stopped in front of him and laid her hand on his chest. “Halsin. Enough.”

“I’m sorry, I’m just-” he began, looking down into her eyes and making her breath catch in her throat. “Restless.” She finished his sentence for him, echoing the sentiment. “I can tell. You seem to be mostly recovered from your wounds, too. You’re not fond of being indoors this much, are you?” “I miss the wind in my hair, the grass beneath my feet. It feels…unnatural, to be so far from nature. The saplings struggling between cracks in the stone do not help.” He sighed, looking towards the window where some scant few branches knocked against the glass every time a breeze caught them. “Let’s go, then. Tonight. There’s a spot not far outside Rivington, we can take some food and wine with us, maybe even our bedrolls, and spend a night under the stars.” Tav smiled taking his hand in her own as a subtle hint. “You’re…certain? You do not wish to bring the rest of our friends along?” Halsin hesitated, caught between excitement and concern, visibly struggling to contain those emotions. “Two is company, Halsin, three is a crowd. Isn’t nature better appreciated without a crowd?” She squeezed his hand, watching his throat move as he swallowed his own anxieties. “That would be… Appreciating nature as the Oakfather intended. I would like that, very much.” He held on to her hand a little longer before excusing himself to gather what they might need. Maybe don’t invite the Oakfather tonight, Halsin. Tav chuckled to herself, tucking a couple extra items in her own pockets.

--- The sun was setting as the pair walked through the lower city and across the bridge towards Rivington. Tav felt her heart racing, but she had a suspicion the druid’s was sprinting much faster than her own. He kept his eyes fixed on the road ahead, the hint of a smile tugging at his lips from time to time, feet keeping a careful pace as if he was desperate to run but didn’t want to wear out his companion. “There’s no rush, we do have all night, if you want.” Tav smiled, casually linking her arm through his elbow, delighting in the pink hue that rose to the tips of his ears. “I have…spoken, with Astarion. About your situation.” He tentatively broached the subject, still keeping his gaze on the path as they passed the last houses out of the city. “I hope the conversation was enlightening. I asked him to speak with you, once you were feeling better.” She pulled herself closer against his arm, relishing in feeling how his muscles tensed even more. “Maybe someday he might join us, when he’s ready to. But I’m not going to push him.” “He requires more healing than a few spells and salves can provide.” Halsin agreed, risking a brief glance to the woman at his side who was stroking his arm as they walked into the trees. Breathe, by the Oakfather’s mercy, stay calm… “You know, you’re welcome to join our little book club if you want to.” She kissed his shoulder now, relishing in teasing him, watching every little sign that he was more than ready to throw her down into the grass at any moment…and yet also enjoying how much he held back. He kept his poise, no matter how difficult she intended to make it. “Is it not…too personal, to be reading your innermost thoughts and your, ah, experiences ?” The druid paused for a moment, turning to face her properly now. “I have nothing to hide, not really. Astarion told you about my rules?”

“He mentioned them, yes. But I think I might like to hear them from you, directly.” He placed the bag down by a tree, they were already far enough into the woods to be alone now at least. Tav followed his lead, putting her bag beside his and pulling out her diary. It felt peaceful, even though nature’s orchestra surrounded them in the moonlight that sparkled on the lake’s water, just visible between the trees. “Here, you see?” She pointed to each rule in turn and read them aloud. Rule 1: Survive. Do whatever you must to stay alive.

“I will. I have. I’m going to keep everyone alive now.” She felt a little pain lingering whenever she thought of the first rule, but the scars on the man before her told her she was, unfortunately, not alone.

“You have survived much, my heart.” The druid spoke kindly, a new pet name escaping perhaps sooner than he intended, but drawing a smile from her that softened his own features further as he caressed her shoulder. “You do not have to struggle so hard alone, now.” Rule 2: Live. Find your pleasure where you can get it, remember what life means beyond survival. “This…is a much more fun rule. Lust is an indulgence, pleasure is fun, and when we don’t know how many days we have? I want to make the most of them.” She laid her hand over his, where his thumb still idly stroked the edge of her collarbone. “Such is nature’s way…” He sounded a little crestfallen now, a hint of sadness in his smile. “That’s… I don’t mean to say I have no feelings for you, Halsin.” She panicked a little, realising she might have said the wrong thing, not wanting to hurt him. “I’ve wanted to spend more time with you, and when you were missing, I… We were beside ourselves. I pushed that rule as far as I could, neither of us were willing to give up until-” The druid pressed a finger to her lips, quieting her worried words, moving to cup her cheek with his hand as he bent to kiss her. It was soft, warm, and felt like it was on the verge of sparking a fire where they touched as he almost let his passion take over. But he drew back, breathless. “I know, my heart. He told me, and I feel the same, for both of you if you will have me.” Tav nearly dropped the book, but Halsin leaned back again, running his fingers down her arm from the shoulder to the wrist, lifting the book back to where they could see the open pages again. He looked down at the page to encourage her to carry on.

Rule 3: Take. If nobody else needs it, it’s yours, especially if the owner has more than they need.

“Nature does provide.” The druid smiled, the hint of a laugh playing around his eyes. “Well, nature, rich fools who haven’t heard of good locks… Same thing, right?” “I suppose it could be, if you stretch the definition far enough.” He watched as her finger lingered on the last rule, Astarion’s addition. Rule 4: Taste. Sample from any plate before you that is appetising. “Well?” His smile grew just a little wider now. “Are you hungry?” She glanced down at their bags. “We did skip dinner for this.” He leaned in towards her again, lips just a whisper away from hers. “The food can wait, let’s find a way to fill more of those pages instead.” This time the book did fall from her hand as Halsin wrapped his arms around her, almost lifting her off the ground as he kissed her with an unbridled passion. Tav felt herself completely encompassed by him, the smell of leather, moss, and a hint of honey filling her senses as she tried her best to hold on with her arms around his shoulders. His hand drifted down, caressing the curve of her hip, cupping her rear, then sliding further to lift her thigh, encouraging her leg to find purchase as he fully hoisted her off the ground. Tav raised her other leg, both now encircling the druid’s waist, and for once now his head was tilted upwards to continue the kiss he did not wish to break even as he manoeuvered her back against a tree. She could feel his muscles, tense and almost shaking, heated even in the cooler evening air of the forest. 

Halsin abruptly parted them, almost dropping her to the floor as his breathing grew heavy, laboured. “Halsin? What’s wrong?” Tav steadied herself against the tree, uncertain what to do to help. The druid was almost glowing, his eyes alight with a form of magic as he fell forward onto all fours. He hurriedly tried to unfasten his clothes, but it was a little too late. Even the tough leather buckled and ripped as his body shifted and transformed, growing in size, thick dark fur covering every inch of the huge bear. The creature stepped backwards, a look that could only be described as apologetic crossing its features… his features. Tav held out a hand, stepping towards him. “Are you alright?” He blinked a few times, then shook his head, the rest of his large body following, the magic weaving back around him and returning him to his more usual form. He was almost naked, the remnants of his leathers hanging off him in strips, and he sat back on his heels breathing heavily still. “I’m…sorry. Oakfather grant me strength - Sometimes it is hard…to control myself.” Tav knelt on the ground with him, taking his hands into her own. “Don’t worry about it, as long as you’re ok.” “How did nature make you so beautiful, my heart? Inside and out.” He kissed her hands softly, eyes locked on hers. “I will be just fine. With you here, how could I be anything but?” There was something about him that still seemed slightly ashamed, a look she was not used to seeing from the Archdruid. “Halsin,” she made sure he looked her in the eye before she continued, “I like you, I adore you, all of you. Just the way you are.” She allowed a little smirk to play at her lips. “But for now, perhaps stay like this. I don’t think I can handle a bear.” Yet, she almost added, only allowing the thought to half form in her mind.

“You seem very certain that you can handle me as I am. Perhaps we should test that theory.” There was an almost animal glint in his eye as he raised up on his knees, pulling her closer to him and removing her clothes with deft movements. It didn’t take long for her to be as bare as he was, both dressed only in the cool moonlight and the light breeze that passed around them. “Nature truly outdid itself when it made you…” “I could say the same of you. It’s like you were carved out of marble by an expert artist, and brought to life with the warmest heart.” She smiled, reaching forward to tuck his hair behind his ear, delighting in how he shivered as her fingers brushed past the pointed tip.

“You flatter me,” he held her hand to his cheek for a moment, “but perhaps we’ve talked enough for now.” He kissed the inside of her wrist, following it with further tender pecks along the length of her arm, moving closer to wrap his arm around her back. His lips continued their path along her shoulder and collarbone as he brought them both up to their feet again, kissing up her neck as they were standing. “Oakfather preserve me, I want to devour you…” He growled seductively in her ear. 

“That’s why we’re here, isn’t it?” she returned the look he was giving her, full of barely contained lust.

He paused for just one more moment. “You must tell me if we are to stop, I do not want to hurt you.”

“That would be almost impossible,” she breathed heavily, feeling the heat rise within her as his lips lingered by the tip of her ear, “but for safety, squirrel can be our word.” She was rewarded by a deep chuckle in her ear, the sound itself travelling along her nerves to somewhere far deeper in her core. “Somehow that seems perfect.” He began to lift her again, pressing her back up against the tree as he continued to administer his affections across her skin. Soft lips expressed tender care across fresh bruises and old scars alike, the slight cooling of healing magic soothing the more recent signs of battle that marked her like a mosaic. Tav tensed as he moved lower, leaving small bites along the line of her hip, each delighted gasp from her lips only urging him onwards with renewed passion. “Hold on.” He murmured, as he hooked his arms under her legs and in one swift motion stood up with her thighs on his shoulders, bracing her back against the tree once more as his tongue began to taste her desire. Tav didn’t even notice the whisper or the slight gesture as the spell was cast, but she felt the vines of Entangle rise from the ground to hold her. You have certainly been talking to Astarion, haven’t you- She moaned as his tongue and lips drank deeply from her, working every nerve within her as the vines coiled up and around her arms, holding them above her head and secure against the tree. More vines found purchase around her waist and ribs, lifting and cupping her breasts, thinner ends just pinching the hardened peaks to draw a fresh noise from deep within her lungs. The food in their bags sat long forgotten as Halsin took his time, savouring every moment, every little motion of his tongue sending waves of heat through her whole body. Just as promised, he  devoured her, drinking in the pleasure, working in such careful patterns that it wasn’t long before the local wildlife were rudely awoken by the wanton howl that escaped her. He held her tight, pressing his tongue ever deeper even as her hips bucked against him. Even as his mouth refused to stop dragging the ecstasy from every nerve, his hands caressed every curve they could reach. Strong, soothing, carrying the aftershock of her climax as long as he could and bringing her back down again like a gentle wave passing through the afterglow. The druid eased her down carefully, the vines relaxing their grip and lowering her shaking body into his arms. He kissed her heated skin tenderly from her naval to her neck, until her feet touched the floor once more. Tav felt like she had been flying, floating back down to the moss below her toes completely surrounded by affection. “You didn’t stop me.” He whispered against her cheek, continuing to kiss her even as she blushed a deeper hue again. “I didn’t need to.” She reached her hands up into his hair again, lingering by his ear this time. She felt his reaction as her fingers caressed the line from lobe to tip, the way his breathing quickened, the subtle heat rising from his skin. “I didn’t want to.” “You are…dangerous.” He rolled his head back, leaning in to the touch against his ear. “Isn’t that what makes it exciting?” She began to kiss and nip across his chest, her fingertips still tracing unspoken words in her new favourite place to tease, relishing in the quickening of his pulse. He looked down at her again now, his hands gripping her hips firmly, just holding her back from pressing against him. “More?” His breathless whisper was hot against her ear, lips trailing a new path, worshipping every inch of her body as he sank to his knees before her, one hand already moving to her inner thigh. Tav simply nodded, biting her lip, unable to resist the temptation to let him do as he wished. Her knees still felt weak, and the moment he slipped a finger inside, curling it to reach the most sensitive parts, she nearly fell completely to the floor. 

His eyes caught hers as he looked up momentarily, before dipping back down to taste her again. The druid could not get enough, tasting her, moving her, drawing every breath from her lunches in ragged gasps as he added a second finger to his new favourite game. Tav was certain she would’ve fallen over, if it hadn’t been for the hand inside her and the other wrapped around her lower back holding her as close as possible. She tried to brace herself against the tree behind her, suddenly missing the grasp of the vines but feeling completely incapable of denying Halsin the meal he desired.

Trying to cling to her consciousness with everything she had, she ran her fingers through his hair, once again finding the tips of his ears to caress. The vibrations of his delighted moans only increased the feelings building within, ready to bloom a second time with a primal lust. She kept going, letting her fingertips rile him up more, relishing in the look of him knelt before her… Halsin’s hunger seemed endless, relentless, damn near insatiable. Looking down at him worshipping every inch of her body was the most erotic sight that Tav could imagine. His skin was beading with sweat, muscles clearly defined and almost quivering with the sheer sexual energy that seemed to full every cell of his being. Even his breath was heated as he worked his fingers within her while his tongue did not waste a single drop, tasting her, devouring her like it was her last meal. By the time the shockwave hit, rippling out from her core with muscles twitching around his hand as he continued to tease out the afterglow, her knees were completely weak. She was certain the only things keeping her upright were his hands, one inside her and the other holding her lower back, keeping her pressed to his face as he kept the final pulses of warmth subsided with a long and shuddering moan. “My heart,” he smiled, casually cleaning his hand with his tongue as she sank slowly to the floor, “you are a greater feast than all of nature’s bounty.” For a few moments, all Tav could do was try and remember what breathing was, and appreciate the sight of the man in front of her. This suited him best, hair falling out of place, skin slick with sweat, moonlight highlighting every line of hardened muscle, and the best part of all - the smile on his face as he quietly watched her. “What do you desire? Name it, and it will be yours, as I am yours.” He laid his hand on her knee, beginning to caress up her leg, but Tav stopped him. “No,” she leaned forward, caressing his cheek softly, “you give too much of yourself. Let me…” Halsin’s face was a mix of delight and self restraint. His lips tried to form words, but his mind gave him nothing more than a silent smile. He nodded, turning his head to kiss her hand and wrist, looking almost lonely when she pulled back. Tav found a little strength to move again now her body was finally recovering, and took the small bottle from her bag.

“I thought we were leaving the picnic til after?” Halsin looked confused for a moment, until he realised exactly what her plan was. “Oh…well, in that case, carry on.” Tav smiled, shuffling towards him on hands and knees, the glass bottle held between her teeth. She pushed firmly on his chest, finding very little resistance as he laid on his back beneath her, watching her every move while consciously not acting on any of his impulses. She almost found it difficult to straddle him, kneeling over his waist but denying him contact for now. She relished the way he bit his lip when she took the stopper out of the bottle with her teeth. She held the bottle high above him, letting a little of the golden syrup pour in a thin line down to his chest. She used the honey like ink, drawing a map of everywhere she wanted to taste, watching the way he reacted to each place. After replacing the stopper, she put the bottle to one side and began to sample the delicacy she had made, a sweet dessert to savour and enjoy. Her tongue and lips teased, relishing the taste of his skin. The honey had the tangy sweetness which blended so beautifully with the hint of salt on his hot muscles, the lingering flavour of leather from his armour, and the general earthy aroma that seemed to be a part of him made the experience complex, yet decadent. She continued down across his abdomen, amused at the points where he quivered from a ticklish touch, running her hands down his arms with just a little pressure. There was no way she could ever hope to pin him beneath her, not on her own, he was far too strong, but this little illusion of power quickened his pulse beneath her fingertips. By the time she kissed along the line of his hip, teasing little bites and enjoying every moan he tried to bite back behind tensed lips, she could feel him almost quaking beneath her. She wanted this, to see him finally allowing someone to tend to his desires, and it was clear how much he was enjoying it too. The taste of him now was like a fine banquet. She dragged her tongue slowly along his tip, as if tasting a stray drop from a bottle of wine, listening to the long low moan that came from above. Tav kissed along him, each fresh press of her lips opening them more, adding just a little more tongue, until she reached the top once more and took him entirely into her mouth. She lavished affection on him, allowing her teeth to tease and drag out pleasured moans, her hands still caressing his body, tenderly testing for any areas that deepened his voice. Tav let her tongue speak a hundred languages, all words of love lavished around him, singing his praises more literally as she allowed her own moans to send subtle vibrations through him. It seemed this was enough to tip the scales, as she was rewarded with the taste of his own nectar, a warm honey with its own sweetness that she devoured with a ravenous appetite spurred on by the howl that echoed around the clearing. Tav barely had time to catch her breath when his strong arms lifted her forwards, pulling her up to straddle his waist again, gazing at her with unbridled passion in his eyes. “Of all of nature’s gifts…” He paused, running his hands up her arms to her shoulders as he sat up, bringing his knees up to support her back. “I couldn’t possibly ask for more, and yet… Forgive me, I want you, my heart, I want all of you.”

“Then you may have me, and I shall have you.” She kissed him lightly, almost surprised when he immediately deepened the kiss, the taste of each other mingling on their tongues in a moment of pure lust. “As nature intended.” He growled, kissing down to her neck as he lifted her slightly, encouraging her to continue. Tav followed his direction, finding him already prepared with barely a minute to rest. He’s…insatiable… she thought, not unlike me, I suppose- The thought was cut off as she felt him in place, too deep in her own desire to try and tease him or prolong her own satisfaction. She pressed herself down slowly, the pair of them exhaling in tandem as he filled her so completely she thought her legs might give way again. But she held strong, wrapping her arms around him, holding him close as she began to move.

--- Halsin had been thinking of this moment for so long that it was almost like a dream now. Surrounded by nature, encompassed by the body of his heart, watching her head roll back as she took her own pleasures by moving above him. It was going to take everything he had within him not to rush this, and he was now more grateful than ever that she had already given him some release before they began. That would make it easier to prolong the moment, to draw out every second as long as he could. The soft glow of the moon made her look even more beautiful to him, if such a thing had ever been possible in the first place. He did not miss the city one bit, his senses keener from the bear within that was always just held back below the surface it was impossible not to notice everything about her. The colour of her eyes, sparkling with starlight. The sounds of her breath catching in her throat as he moved with her, finding every way to make her feel all of him, pressing just that little bit deeper every few thrusts and relishing the little moans against his lips as he kissed her neck. The scent, the scent was so clear to him; the moss beneath them, the fresh water of the lake nearby, the ripening berries on the bushes and refreshing pine- Tav leaned back and braced herself on his knees behind her, quickening her pace for a minute to draw out her own pleasure. Halsin focused again, trying to hold back and allow her to do what he pleased. The aromas of the forest were mingling with their own sweet perfumes, sweat, sex, honey, and the slight hint of roses from the woman whose head was tilting back breathlessly, chest heaving as her climax echoed from the trees. Oakfather, forgive me, she is too much.

--- Tav rode out the wave of bliss, unaware of the feral look creeping onto her lover’s face. When she was descending from the high, she soon realised something had changed as he gripped her hips and rolled them both so he was above her. His arms were shaking, not through the difficulty of holding himself up - far from it, he could likely keep that position for hours - no, this was the pure intensity of his desire. She gasped as he pulled out, pausing only to flip her on to her front before he pressed back inside with a swift and powerful motion. His lips pressed devoted kisses and untamed bites across her back, holding her legs together with his feet and shins pinning them down. His thrusts were wild and harsh, breathing ragged, and if she didn’t know better she might have thought he had truly become the bear again, but his hands remained entirely without paws or the thick fur of the beast. As he increased in intensity, he found a grip on the back of her neck, holding her beneath him in a way that excited her entire being. It didn’t matter that the ground was rough beneath her, or that her hair had become entirely tangled, or that the remnants of the honey was clinging to her skin. All that mattered was this, the feeling of him completely ravaging her, letting his passion take control and bringing her breathlessly towards their conclusion. “Let me hear you,” he growled, “let the whole forest hear your voice cry out, make the birds envious of your song.” His voice alone was almost enough to tip her over the edge, but it was when she felt the subtle growth within that her muscles responded, tightening around him as he let go completely. The sheer intensity of the pulsing climax seemed to drag an even greater one from her as she did exactly what he had demanded. Not a single beast within earshot remained asleep, the sound travelling close to a mile from where the two elves cascaded together over an entire waterfall of bliss, the consummation of lust that both had felt since not long after they met. Halsin lay his body over her, wrapping his arms around her in a tight embrace and kissing the point of her neck where he had gripped perhaps a little tighter than he had intended. She didn’t care, though. She was filled with complete bliss. Beyond the powerful afterglow flowing through her whole body, she felt so entirely encompassed by him. It was as if they were the only two beings in the forest, in the whole world. She was glad he didn’t withdraw immediately either, not wanting to feel that emptiness just yet. Tav sighed happily. Even in this, he was gentle, the embrace of a lover not just a quick fling. Although he was above her, he was still careful not to let his whole weight rest on her, supporting himself by his knees and elbows and the forearms that were wound around beneath her, holding her close. She could feel the strong and steady beat of his heart through her back, she could hear his breathing slowing to contented sighs, and she wanted nothing more than to remain right there.

--- Halsin waited a while, savouring the close feeling of holding his heart in his arms, listening to the easy sounds of her satisfied body. Eventually, he carefully parted them, a light chuckle escaping him at her disappointed little sigh. “Let us clean up, my heart, and we should not let our other feast go to waste.” He kissed her shoulders and back as he moved aside, waiting to help her to her feet on legs that couldn’t quite support her. “Just give me a moment, you don’t have to-” she tried to protest, but was cut short by a sweet kiss. The druid instead lifted her up into his arms and carried her to the lake, sinking into the cool water slowly and holding her close. “I don’t have to, but I want to. You have done so much for me, allow me to take care of you, too.” Tav wrinkled her nose and pressed her finger to her lover’s lips. “Only if you will allow me to do the same for you, my love.” “Love,” he echoed the word carefully, contemplating its meaning. “So you are willing to share your heart with me, as I do you?” “Of course. I care about you. I love you. I suppose I have for a while…” She kissed his cheek, smiling at how he blushed now from a simple declaration of affection. “Let us indulge our bodies as we so wish, sample all the delights the world might have to offer, but keep our hearts to ourselves, and our other love.” “Astarion.” He echoed her unspoken words. “You think he will accept me into his heart, too?” “Give him time, earn his trust, and hold him with care.” She kissed his lips, a declaration of her affection. “I don’t know how anyone could resist falling for you.”

---

They spent the rest of the night beneath the stars. They swam and bathed in the lake, playfully splashed each other and chased each other through the cooling ripples that sparkled in the moonlight, and eventually even made it to the food they had carried all the way out there. However, when the sun rose and they realised it was time to return to the city, they noticed a small problem. Or rather, a large, naked problem. “My clothes…I completely forgot.” Halsin sighed, looking at the torn scraps of fabric and leather that couldn’t even form enough of an outfit for a certain incubus to wear. “Oh…shit.” Tav realised, looking at the few tears in her own clothes that prevented them from effectively covering her. “This…is going to be awkward.” — Some time later, the upper floor of the Elfsong tavern was filled with laughter and a friendly mocking, as two elves strolled in carrying their bags and clothed only in the blankets of their bedding wrapped around them.

----------- ----------- ENDING NOTES ----------- -----------

It felt about natural to have the Halsin chapter here, after his rescue and recovery, with a little need to get out of the city. He's a terrible patient in my mind but what better way to know he is fully healed? This is the last main chapter that I currently have ready, so there will be a few of the side story specials coming in next, then ATG 14 will be back hopefully in the next couple of weeks depending on my schedule~

i have a few Everlark Post-MJ head canons that I’d like to share!

Katniss and Peeta get to finally act like the normal kids/teenagers they never got to be? Small things like playing out in the rain, reading a bunch of books that were once banned by the Capitol, dancing to music in their living room, and getting into mundane hobbies not part of their typical persona (like I can see Katniss taking up some knitting or crocheting? maybe Peeta could take a hand at carpentry, building small things like birdhouses and chairs)

Once they’re more stable physically and mentally, they add work-out regimes in their daily routines. Peeta, being an athlete in canon, starts to lift weights again and maybe take a few runs around the district once in awhile? He comes back to 12 probably still a lot skinner compared to when he was training for the quell? But he gets all the muscle back in no time, much to Katniss’ appraisal 😉 speaking of Katniss, she’s naturally active in the woods with climbing trees and all that but I do believe she too takes a few runs once im awhile, sometimes with Peeta ☺️

Okay this one is my fave but they love to mess with Haymitch because now that their lives aren’t at risk, him getting pissed at them is just plain hilarious. I can imagine Peeta pulling small pranks on him (as a normal teenage boy does) like doodling on the sides of the newspaper before Haymitch gets to read it at breakfast. When he gets Katniss roped into the pranks tho, they truly become a menace. Drawing on Haymitch’s face while he naps and him not noticing till he strolls into town and someone points it out, they super glue his coffee mug to the table, purposely showing a lot of PDA while he eats because they know it disgusts him, filling his flask with odd (but consumable) liquids 🥲 though, Haymitch also gets his revenge sometimes like by timing the exact moment he knows they’re about to ~get busy~ so he walks in and casually makes conversation while they stare at him in irritation, or stealing Peeta’s freshly baked loaves from the counter when he leaves the kitchen for a bit 😭 also, making a lot of dirty jokes and innuendos to Katniss once he noticed she and Peeta are becoming a lot closer because he knows it pisses her off

Omg I’m so sorry for the long post but I have so many HCs for them! I hope you don’t mind me sending them once in awhile since idk where to really put them lmao

❤️, headcanon-anony

headcanon-anony, I'm honored you would think to send these to me! I love all of these! Especially about how Katniss, Peeta, and Haymitch find little ways to tease and prank each other. Such a found family thing to do and a light way to cope with their trauma through laughter. And Katniss and Peeta taking time to be kids again?! Love it! I think later when they have kids, getting to experience the joys of childhood through them is also very healing and meaningful for them.

Bed Sharing– a Kanej Fanfic

[Read on AO3]

He didn't want her to placate him with an embrace. He just wanted to sleep next to her without the threat of her arms and legs, and her insanely silky hair suffocating him. But he complied nonetheless and lowered himself towards her, letting her wrap her arms around him.

...

In which Kaz just wants to share a bed with Inej but she has some peculiar sleeping habits that might cause discomfort to him.

Light humor and fluff cause i simply adore the canon fluffy Kanej :3

Sharing the same bed, falling asleep right next to each other, arms and legs casually tangled together. It was another act of intimacy that was of utmost significance for the both of them.

Kaz had given up on ever experiencing such trivial yet invaluable moments of life due to the nature of his sickness. At least that's what he believed until a petite suli girl dared to not just sneak up on him but also offered to help him. The notorious Dirtyhands! She wasn't just another girl with pretty ribbons or a sort of sidle in her walk. She was kind and forgiving despite her circumstances. And like the graceful acrobat that she was raised to be, Inej Ghafa smoothly scaled her way into his heart.

Unfortunately, it took her getting stabbed by the rival gang for him to realize that his Wraith had become his reason. He had never given thought to what would come after he was done with his revenge. After he had defeated Rollins in his own game. After he had brought that wretched son of a bitch to his knees. But Inej, with her Suli platitudes and soft brown eyes, made him truly wonder about the prospect of a future. Of actually living for more than just money and contempt.

And so, after years of struggles in working towards healing from their respective traumas, they laid together in bed.

Kaz had imagined this moment being far more dramatic and exhilarating. Expected it to bring a sense of fulfillment. A warm and heady sort of contentment that Jordie used to read about in his story books.

However, when Kaz woke up in the middle of the night, he could not associate any of those endearing descriptions with his current predicament. No, it wasn't the sensation of waves lapping at him. They hardly ever bothered him anymore. It was just the general discomfort with the way Inej's leg draped on his belly and her impossibly long hair spilled over his face. And to top it off, she seemed content. Peacefully asleep in her peculiar position.

Kaz didn't remember falling asleep like this.

He tried fidgeting away but she crept closer to the warmth that his body radiated. He tried gently moving her off of him but mere moments later, she turned towards him and resumed her oddly-comforting position.

He puffed out an annoyed breath to blow her hair away from his face and sat up, her leg sliding down into his lap.

“Inej” He called.

Unfortunately, she didn't even budge.

Kaz frowned. He was nothing if not vengeful. How could she coax him into getting some proper sleep then not let him have any?

He placed a hand on her shoulder and shook her. “Inej”

This time her brows knitted at the disturbance. “Saints..”

“Not your Saints”, He grumbled. “It's me.”

“Something..happ..ened?” Inej mumbled as she rubbed her eyes and pulled out her cherished bone-handled knife from under the pillows.

“No.” Kaz replied, watching her hand immediately tuck the knife back. Then drily added, “I just can't sleep thanks to you throwing your limbs all over me.”

Inej chuckled and drowsily gazed up at him.

“Come here.” She beckoned with open arms.

He didn't want her to placate him with an embrace. He just wanted to sleep next to her without the threat of her arms and legs, and her insanely silky hair suffocating him. But he complied nonetheless and lowered himself towards her, letting her wrap her arms around him.

Inej pressed her lips upon his. Lightly. Sleepily. And by the time he finally decided to give in to the affectionate gesture and return the kiss, Kaz felt her arms loosen from his back. He moved away slightly to find that she had drifted back into a calm slumber.

For a moment, Kaz stared at the sight of her beautiful face glowing under the foggy moonlight of Ketterdam. Laughed to himself about the suddenness of it all and then laid down next to her. Within moments he felt her scoot closer, a leg coming to rest upon his belly. Only this time, the bastard of the barrel didn't have the heart to rouse her from her sleep.

SOC Masterlist

Custom Divider by @skylightlantern

Blind Trust Intro!

Hi! I'm a tumblr n00b and I'm not sure if my page updated so I'm throwing this here too! I'm Clove and i am a Write Shape with a Medium-Sized Word Pile I'm self-publishing soon! Read the pitch below! You can read the first 35 pages for NO MONEY and it would MAKE ME HAPPY!

Let's be friends? I have two more books of asexual intimacy and death-positive eldritch madness to share with you!

In this world, magic exists - either granted through birth, or achieved through effort and years of academic study. Rules and answers are hard to determine for certain, and those who claim to know what they’re talking about might have a deeper agenda in mind. All that is certain is that power exists, mainly to a minor degree, but occasionally to devastating effects. But nature has a way of balancing itself out. 

Two children are born in a soul bond, meaning they are two parts of the same origin. They were meant to develop together, but something pushed them apart and forced them to develop into two separate and complete human beings. Now, decades later, they are Edgar Gallows, a recent escapee from Academic witchcraft looking to create a life for himself for the very first time, and Scott Skylark Kaufner, a vagabond from a birthright witch town with the soul purpose of finding his literal “soulmate”. 

The power Scott was born with is slowly feeding off him, and time is running thin before it takes him over completely. When he finally does meet his long-lost Better Half, what will happen? Can they work out their pasts to create a future for themselves and those they care about? Or will the immense potential of their broken bond burn down the world as it so desperately wants to?

Blind Trust is book one of the Bluerose Trilogy. It’s an asexual romance and comfortcore urban fantasy with elements of trauma healing and a strong emphasis on intimacy and love in all its many forms. It contains an intersex protagonist, an agender protagonist (they won't know till book two but the egg cracks here) and two sapphic side characters. It has a taste of cosmic horror, and two characters that canonically still play Runescape. 

Blind Trust will be released for purchase June 20th, but you can read the first chapter here!

Some of my kotlc headcanons cause I have so many. This isn't all of them nor is it all the characters. Just a main 3 for now, the love triangle who I'm turning into a polycule

Sophie:

I like to think the alicorn genetics tempered with her a little bit more. Like the shape of her eyes are just slightly unnatural or that she has joint problems because her body thinks she's supposed to be double jointed. I also think she has natural platinum blonde hair with a silver sheen, and her mom had her dye it constantly in fear of attention. I imagine elves similar to the fey, and while this is more of a keefe thing, I imagine the aura of emotions around her make her look iridescent. She's also a bookworm and she used to stay in the public library, away from the smog, and annotate in a huge journal. (I bet the elven world doesn't believe in fiction and she's highly disappointed) Sophie's unnaturally tall and her hair grows too fast. Stress makes her inflicting more physically viewable. She learned how to play guitar and snuck out to grab one post Canon to play.

Keefe:

(I'm realizing most of these are hair related) keefes a natural brunette, his mom just forced him to dye it his dad's color. After the dye starts fading in neverseen and lodestar, it permanently effected the color, making it lighter. His face looks more like his mom than dad. Keefe used to repeatedly hurt himself with elixirs to go to the healing center in alchemy to the point of intervention. The great gulon incident was to get rid of bullies, rebel against his parents and ruin dame alinas office all in one go. And it didn't even go the way he wanted it to. Keefe is obsessed with human music and playwrights and actively reads their poetry. Keefe loves candles. If he was human, he'd be goth. He sort of already is. Keefe has ocd and often used to explain his intrusive thoughts to anyone who would listen, which is when he started to mask. Keefes hair is more curly than wavy, but the hair dye had an effect of changing his curl pattern. Keefes mind is built to handle death and killing easier and some elves have differing resolve against guilt.

Fitz:

Fitz is bad at levitating because the height he can go to with his mental strength scares him. After the venom, Fitz walks with a limp. I imagine him as being half Indian half white. Lots of people hate the vackers, they are not as well respected as some say. Fitz has hetercromia; one eyes is teal like aldens and the other is so dark blue it's almost black. He has very sensitive skin. Out of everyone, he is the most brainwashed by elven society due to how much he trusts his dad. Fitz has a bad back that Elwin can't fix. (Alden thought he could make Fitz an even better Telepath and hurt him in the process, hence why he sent him away so young to ifnore his guilt.) He has dysgraphia and actively used to get made fun of for it, which was another reason why he was so excited to go to the forbidden cities. At first, Fitz didn't like Sophie, he just thought he had to, but he did fall for her later in books. (I'm such sokeefitz queer platonic trash.) Keefe is the reason he knows he's not entirely straight.

There so real to me

WRATH OF KHAN breakdown

i watched this movie with catherine maulthots six days ago and liveblogged it incoherently on a notepad file on my phone because No Way was i opening this devils website when spock could die any moment. i am recording my experiences here for posterity

firstly i did know going in that he was going to die. this made me wracked with anxiety. more on that later. actually when kirk walked up and was like ha ha arent you supposed to be dead i almost lost it .5 seconds into the movie

absolute first thing was that we werent sure whether or not the thing in the beginning was a test. absolutely LOST MY MIND when i realized it was the kobayashi maru. every ten seconds during this movie i went "omg an aos reference" even though i knew it was really the other way around. somehow i thought mister perfect tos jim wouldn't cheat on the test so when they sort of hinted at what he did but didn't say it i was FROTHING to know more

bones's gay little posture. that's it that's the whole bullet

bones coming to jim's place at night was like the opening of some retro gay porno. DELIGHTED to find out that jim's allergies were not in fact an aos fanon but based in both aos and tos canon (re his little old man glasses)

mad that all of the movies seem to flirt with whether or not james t kirk should retire or captain a starship and then never resolve that question ever. it's like will shatner's insecurity about aging was leeching into the very script. girl we ALL KNOW what he should be doing so either shit or get off the pot

birthday gifts cute though. oh my fucking god. a book and glasses and he shows up with both repeatedly throughout the film

khan's tits were amazing. even as an asexual, even queer as a two dollar bill, i am full of admiration for what he had going on. he was rockin it

when they put the little worms into chekov and terrel cathy was like "omg THATS why they called them khan worms" and then i got to say "omg spn reference" instead of "omg aos reference" and we were so excited she wasn't even mad about it. also, they were so gross, oh my god, i couldn't look, she had to tell me when it was safe to unhide my eyes

meanwhile we're also mercilessly mocking the oversight that allowed khan and chekov to know one another. how did that plothole make it into production

EYE personally was very shocked at the amount of non-annoying women in the movie (two??). i liked both saavik and carol though i had to google to see if saavik was a human or vulcan. VERY cute that spock gave her the wheel to fuck with kirk specifically even though anyone but kirk being captain is so WEIRD. spock can be acting captain but not actual captain!!!

i ALSO knew from spoilers that carol had had kirk's fucking child which i may have accidentally also ruined for catherine so when a woman with an adult son mentioned james kirk onscreen we both became a little. unwell.

khan's "i shall have him" this sort of sexual tension is one of many things missing from into darkness. NOT that i want to see b*nedict c*mberbatch have that with anyone bc he is quite literally so ugly i have to cover his face with my hand when i watch into darkness but they should have cast a better person as khan and then made him have sexual tension with kirk.

cathy on the khan worms coming out of chekov's ears: wow, i love that! me on the same thing: i hate it

khan's "i wish to go on hurting you" no comment

khan yell REALLY GOOD. glad to see some things never change. william shatner was like i have been and will ever be a huge fucking ham

when carol marcus went "can i cook or can't i" i decided to go ahead and start liking women again. nature is healing, etc

if i had seen kirk pop that apple in his mouth while talking about how he didn't like to lose before i wrote gambler's knife. well. the fic probably wouldn't have changed much but my brain chemistry has certainly changed now. i can't explain w human words. AAAAAAUGH

spock's line about "sauce for the goose" was so out of character we had to check the transcript and make sure that was him speaking and not kirk. "sauce for the goose"??? sir, you're a vegetarian

the cgi was surprisingly good in whatever version we watched. it really holds up, which is ironic considering we had 20-minute vistas of it in the previous movie, where it was just okay

spock's death. i cried all the way through. don't text.

i did have a vague idea of what was going on when he melded with bones bc you literally cant avoid spoilers but i didn't have Details so i was very shocked for a second until i remembered

SPOCK'S FUNERAL. oh he would have been insulted to hear jim call him human!!!!! but he WAS

kirk trying to run away from his kid was really good. if i hadn't been blinded with tears i would have really enjoyed it. didn't like the "you've never faced death" bit though bc OBVIOUSLYYY he was on tarsus iv.

anyway then they panned to the coffin and i was like SURELY HES GONNA POP OUT AND SAY SIKE but he didn't. he didn't and i just had to live with that. and we had planned to watch search for spock immediately the next day but fate intervened and i had to skip it TWO DAYS in a row and nearly died. the end.

also, i didn't realize the book spock had given kirk was the one he quoted at the end!!!!!!! really horrible.

Walk with me here, but I think a big part of this fandom's problem is idpol. It's why you have braindead takes like "Yes Mirri was right to kill the child of another enslaved child." "justice for the brown woman" but they never mention that Mirri's argument for the forced abortion of Rhaego is racially essentialist in nature. "The brown baby boy will grow up to be a huge brown rapist" was Mirri's argument and this fandom eats it up uncritically because they hate the "white slave owner".

Their arguments for mad kween Dany are also essentialist in nature. You can never escape the cycle of generational trauma and violence. She will eventually become like her rapist father because his evil is literally written into her genes. No matter how far you come or how high you go, you will never escape your genetics.

I wouldn't mind criticism of Dany's actions if they dug deeper than just "white girl bad, brown woman good" but the arguments are never that, they want to analyse Dany's actions under the world's largest microscope but never ask the hard questions about Mirri's actions.

They don't care about canonically brown/black characters that have been harmed by white characters in the text. They want to talk about how Tywin has Alayaya whipped and thrown out of the Red Keep or how Cersei has her abducted and beaten to punish Tyrion and how all Tyrion can think is "thank god it wasn't Shae."

How Oberyn purchases sex from the 16-year-old Alayaya. How George has written the Summer Islanders and how that in itself is racist. How Oberyn beat Obara's mother and took Obara from her. Illyrio Mopatis and his horde of enslaved people despite the fact that slavery is outlawed in Pentos.

The fandom would be better if more people bring their metas down to earth. Because we should not be having these conversations all these years later. The first book is older than me, you'd think the fandom would have gotten all this out of their system.

N.B. Until we as a fandom are ready and willing to have a serious conversation about how often a large majority of the fandom slips into fascist talking points to justify their hatred for the teenage girl, we will never have meaningful discourse about these characters or this universe.

empty idpol idiots 🤝🏾 fascists for some reason.

Ultimately I agree with your points about people not analyzing the text for what it presents and how it's written for the sake of taking superifical details and running with them for advocating for whatever identity they are advocating for. I don't think Mirri was necessarily using essentialist arguments for hurting Dany, though and I am confused as to the some of the writing here, and I don't feel I can make any deeper comments otherwise.

This is what Mirri-Dany's exchange (A Game of Thrones -- Daenerys IX):

Dany gestured at Ser Jorah and the others. "Leave us. I would speak with this maegi alone." Mormont and the Dothraki withdrew. "You knew," Dany said when they were gone. She ached, inside and out, but her fury gave her strength. "You knew what I was buying, and you knew the price, and yet you let me pay it." "It was wrong of them to burn my temple," the heavy, flat-nosed woman said placidly. "That angered the Great Shepherd." "This was no god's work," Dany said coldly. If I look back I am lost. "You cheated me. You murdered my child within me." "The stallion who mounts the world will burn no cities now. His khalasar shall trample no nations into dust." "I spoke for you," she said, anguished. "I saved you." "Saved me?" The Lhazareen woman spat. "Three riders had taken me, not as a man takes a woman but from behind, as a dog takes a bitch. The fourth was in me when you rode past. How then did you save me? I saw my god's house burn, where I had healed good men beyond counting. My home they burned as well, and in the street I saw piles of heads. I saw the head of a baker who made my bread. I saw the head of a boy I had saved from deadeye fever, only three moons past. I heard children crying as the riders drove them off with their whips. Tell me again what you saved." "Your life." Mirri Maz Duur laughed cruelly. "Look to your khal and see what life is worth, when all the rest is gone." Dany called out for the men of her khas and bid them take Mirri Maz Duur and bind her hand and foot, but the maegi smiled at her as they carried her off, as if they shared a secret. A word, and Dany could have her head off … yet then what would she have? A head? If life was worthless, what was death?

A)

I could be reading this ask incorrectly. Did you mean "they don't want" when you said: "They don't care about canonically brown/black characters that have been harmed by white characters in the text. They want to talk about how Tywin has Alayaya whipped and thrown out of the Red Keep or how Cersei has her abducted and beaten to punish Tyrion and how all Tyrion can think is "thank god it wasn't Shae."? Because with you saying "They don't care about canonically...in the text", it seems like it, but Idk.

B)

You: "but they never mention that Mirri's argument for the forced abortion of Rhaego is racially essentialist in nature. "The brown baby boy will grow up to be a huge brown rapist" was Mirri's argument and this fandom eats it up uncritically because they hate the "white slave owner"."

Mirri is Lhazareene/Essosi herself, so she is technically a brown person. Her seeming "Dothraki vs Lhazareene"-ism is not white-on-brown crime or violence. Dothraki do perform extreme violence--sexual or otherwise--on other groups and obliterate their ways of life to absorb them as free labor into their own communities for power. So--we're just thinking from her perspective here, not fans--when she is saying that Dany's son will grow up into someone like Drogo and lead more destructive/raping campaigns for "culture" and power, In her perspective, I think it wasn't really about genetics so much as what social environment the boy would grow up in and him being more influenced by the men/bad actors around him than a single girl/woman who saved her. Bc Mirri didn't expect Dany to be able or want to migrate out of a typical Dothraki community.

She's looking at the prospect of a child growing up into the sort of man who would rape and pillage and more than that, she's looking for personal vengeance against Drogo through that child and Dany. Because she cannot get to Drogo through a more direct means, she uses and targets Dany.

This does not mean that Mirri was morally correct and justified, she still targets & harms a child bride/rape victim for her own aims. I'm saying the opposite.

You: "Their arguments for mad kween Dany are also essentialist in nature. You can never escape the cycle of generational trauma and violence. She will eventually become like her rapist father because his evil is literally written into her genes. No matter how far you come or how high you go, you will never escape your genetics."

Yeah, I agree with this--the arguments against Dany are essentialist.

However, whether or not Dany is or is not going to lose her mind (she isn't), the very argument for her becoming that from those essentialist arguments is not equal/same as the idea of Rhaego becoming the worst kind of leader bc there isn't even an "understandable" base reason for them to believe a girl who didn't even grown up as a "typical" Targ--she was born while her brother and mother were fleeing, never to return to Westeros-- would become the worst of them or become exactly like the image of a Targ that is in their heads. Whereas Rhaego would have grown up in a khalasar, it makes sense for someone to assume Rhaego would become that versus Dany becoming a version of an evil queen.

Still, once again, Mirri targeted a child bride/rape victim for personal revenge and refused to accept the fact that Dany's influence might be enough to raise a better child. After the girl actually risked herself and went out of her way to save Mirri.

So I found a song (Anna Bates - “He said / She said”) that gut punched me with how perfectly suited it was for Lemon/Lonan if they’d gotten to be friends and form romantic feelings naturally. Instead their parents went “hey get married we want connections/money and you’re our only kids…..also you gotta make an heir after you get married them’s the breaks get to it”, so that slow burn progression from friends to lovers didn’t get to happen. Basically I’m just rambling about how well they actually could have worked together if things hadn’t turned out the way they did because I have some severe Lonan brainrot again lol. 

No crazy spoilers really except more info on Lonan as a person and his “friendship” with Lemon before the events of the MiV session AND some sandboxy thoughts about where it could have gone if they’d had the chance for their relationship to grow naturally outside of their arranged marriage (ie. current sandbox thought is him showing up at the tower also having run away and both of them hiding from his family, staying in Lemon’s room and maybe helping with arcnane RnD lol).  

LYRICS: 

He said  / I’ll hit a man if I have to honey / But I faint at the sight of blood / So I’ll protect your sweet heart darlin / But you might have to pick me up 

Canon - Lonan is a socially inept shut in academic, boarding school his whole life type of guy. He does not do well with the sight of blood and tends to just outright faint or get very woozy. He was bullied a bit by the others in his wizard schools, but mostly he kept to himself and just tried to avoid people. He got a bit roughed up at school, but he’s never really been in an actual fist fight before

Sandbox - After he and Lemon had bonded if someone did try to hurt her, he just might throw a punch first and think later. He’d get his ass handed to him, since he for sure is not a physical fighter at all, but he’d sure try. Lonan would be…kind of painfully aware that Lemon does most of the protecting, and wants to help but has zero idea how. So he’d see red, throw the punch, and think that was a dumb choice later. It would still fluster Lemon seeing him fight for her though lol

She said  / I am small, but I’ll carry your body  / After you’ve been seeing bright red  / And I’ll feed you bread and strong hot coffee  / And we’ll put your mind to bed 

Canon - Lemon in canon still has so much guilt about leaving Lonan behind. They’d only just started to be friends before she was sent away, and even though she’s glad to be free and away from her mother she is still very worried about him. He may have been an ass when they first met, but after a bit of time Lemon came to find out his situation and realize he was just as stuck as she was. They commiserated a bit over that and got to bond a bit as friends, but then things came to a head with their engagement party and Lemon was shipped off before they could really come together. 

Sandbox - If Lonan had gotten hurt trying to protect her he’d get fussed over so much by Lemon. Lemon is very aware that she is only three feet tall, but she physically outclasses Lonan by a decent bit (he’s got 9 she’s got 13) and she’d be just as overprotective of him as she is any of the people she loves. Lonan would get healing, and fed, and then she’d end up having to make him lay down and put his research down long enough to rest. I can very easily picture Lonan sleeping on his back closest to the wall with Lemon sitting up against the headboard with a book and her hand in his hair, like a physical wall between him and danger. 

He said  / I am gentle, yes I swear it honey / I will be gentle till I die / But oh bless the face of a cold cold man / Who goes and makes you cry 

Canon - Lonan looks like an asshole. He was just born with a broody mean mug, and his upbringing in boarding schools with strict teachers along with either distant or outright mean classmates didn’t polish his social skills well enough to compensate. He is actually a very gentle sweet boy, but he is so very bad at social cues and has very tall walls built up to try to protect himself from the inevitable disappointment of getting close to anyone. It’s easier to be alone so that’s what he says he wants. Lonan tends to come off as a know it all slightly prissy asshole, and that’s normally enough to put people off enough to leave him alone.

Sandbox - Lonan and Lemon to start would have one of those “I can be mean to them but don’t you dare hurt them or I’ll ruin your life” friendships, but the second it tips over into romance Lonan would put himself in time out the second he accidentally makes Lemon genuinely feel even slightly bad. He would never intentionally hurt her, the banter isn’t supposed to hurt after all, but they both would end up accidentally emotionally bruising each other a bit. After they’d cooled off they’d come back together to talk about how not to have it happen again. They’d be weirdly good at talking things out together, because they’re both scientists at heart and would tackle laying out their problems in very similar ways. 

She said  / Don’t go getting yourself in trouble now  / I need you home alive  / But to be fair I ain’t felt so safe here  / In a long long time  / It’s been a long long time

Canon - Literally this line. Lemon does worry about Lonan, he was forced into the whole arrangement just like she was, and his relationship with his parents is clearly so strained it’s barely existent and not healthy. Between her mother emotionally abusing her and the minimal physical abuse with the whole kneeling on grits thing, Lemon hasn’t felt safe at home for years. Having her engagement arranged to Lonan and dealing with the Harlow’s in court only exacerbated that. Once she’d gotten to know him a bit she felt like he could be a safe person to be around, especially considering what happened during their engagement party when he did keep her safe. By the end they were so close to being actual friends she was not happy they couldn’t take him with her, but that would look enough like eloping to the courts they’d have ruled in her mother’s favor and that just wasn’t possible. Lonan said it was fine, but lemon hated leaving him to the wolves like that. 

Sandbox - Lemon is a fairly clingy person once she’d dedicated herself to someone. Not suffocatingly so, but she is incredibly physically affectionate and takes so much comfort from returned physical affection. She may be the more dominant personality in their relationship, but the amount of comfort she would get from curling up with him at night would be so very welcome. It may get to the point where she couldn’t sleep well without him or at least a reminder of him with her like a scarf or stuffed animal.

thoughts on “its hour come at last” at the end of prince lestat? louis’ character development is kind of sudden since we don’t actually see much of him before this point but i like how quiet and private the change in him sounds. i also like how he purposefully dressed in his favorite outfit to go sit in the garden. he is on a date with himself like they tell you to do in cosmo. i wonder if he picked up yoga next.

That chapter is fucking everything to me. I waited ten entire books and most of an eleventh for ANY kind of real update on my sweet, sweet baby boy and I cling to those seven pages with my heart and soul.

As always, I'm very disappointed that there was no dedicated Louis POV book around this point in canon to give some insight into how he managed to get from a suicide attempt in Merrick (his last appearance before PL iirc) to a place where he's not only fully open to Lestat romantically but also so incredibly content. Of course, it sucks that we didn't get much of an in-depth look at how Lestat got to where he is either, stable and honest and ready to be a good partner, but Louis is where it all started. His grief and misery are the root of VC, and I wish so much we would've gotten the catharsis of healing rather than skipping straight to rushed closure.

Still, I really love those few little pages. Like you said, his happiness is very quiet, very introspective, very Louis. His version of happiness isn't loud and obvious, it's just peace, the thing he's wanted since the first book. It's learning compassion for himself instead of trying to alleviate the guilt he's clinging to with martyrdom. At the very least, I'm so happy Anne Rice got that right. More than anything, Louis has been at war with himself for over 200 years. It's actually very healing and beautiful to see him finally let go of that, to become a friend to himself rather than his own punishment.

Even if it's not shown, that has to be the biggest reason he's able to be so open about his love for Lestat at this point, has been able to make peace with his nature as a vampire, has moved forward from the rut of religious trauma, can accept love and care from his friends. So many of his struggles were tied to his inability to stop fighting himself. It's a shame we didn't see that happen, but in the end Anne got it right.

Additionally:

By the PL era, Louis is without a doubt a wellness and self care king, and I think it probably started in the 90s with self-help culture and increasing mental health awareness. Louis is so obsessed with Being Normal that the idea that what was wrong with him had a name and Normalness was something potentially achievable for him must have been huge.

There were concrete steps to take, an societal uptick in empathy for people with mental health issues, then later on a rapidly growing acceptance of gay people and support for those who need it instead of a culture of shame. Finding ways to shed that Catholic need to self-flagellate and start investing in his own well-being sounds like exactly what Louis needs, and just existing in a less hostile world would probably make a big difference, especially one that celebrates self-love. So yeah, he get into that shit big time, first because he wants to be Normal, but then because he's Louis.

Unfortunately for everyone around him, he is also full of himself and has quite the addictive personality, so I'm positive he'd be really annoying about it. He does yoga (moon salutations instead of sun). He goes on cleanses where he only drinks from vegan Crossfitters. He makes everyone use "I" statements during disagreements. He meditates. He has marriage workbooks. He recites self love mantras in the mirror. He has incredibly long and complicated self care rituals for certain days of the week. He does his guided journaling religiously and never shuts up about it. He's a menace to society but no one can really complain that much because look how genuinely happy he is.

Hello, I love your pjo analysis posts and how much you try to keep it within its canon material.

The books let us know that Percy’s fatal flaw is loyalty and we see that often, while Bianca’s ghost kinda implies that Nico’s fatal flaw is holding grudges. My question is, what would you think is Will’s fatal flaw? Or a fatal flaw within the Apollo cabin in general?

Aww, thanks, anon! I always like keeping things within canon universe where possible because that's how my brain works, so I'm glad people like that I do that :D

Still on holiday with no books access, so this'll likely be a short answer at least for now, but a fatal flaw is definitely something I've thought about for Will, and could easily conclude for a couple of other of the cabin seven kids, too, so I'll give a brief rundown of my thoughts here and maybe revisit this later in more depth if that's something that people would want.

So, let's start with Will Solace's Fatal Flaw.

I'm certainly not original in this one, that's for sure, but my thought is that Will's fatal flaw is Responsibility or Self-Blame (specifically regarding patients under his care). I actually wrote a fic based on this premise, Fatal Flaw, a couple of months back. We see flashes of Will's stubbornness and sense of obligation when it comes to healing throughout canon - first with Annabeth, where he doesn't stop until she's out of danger even though it drains him to the point he looks "as pale as" she was, then again at the end of HOO where he's been working non-stop in the infirmary for I think it was two days solid, with the implication that he hadn't been taking a break at all during that time. We also see this in THO where he not only pushes himself to heal Paolo and the other wounded campers despite being worried about his siblings, he also yells at Apollo until Apollo gets his priorities straight, too.

At the very least, Will feels responsible for the well-being of his patients to the point he doesn't step back until they're out of danger, so it's natural to extend the idea into his fatal flaw being that he can't stop until they're out of danger, and that he himself runs the risk of burning himself out (perhaps even literally) trying to save someone who's past saving. As healing is shown to sap Will's energy in TLO (although not so much later on, perhaps because he's been forced to heal so much he's grown more powerful to compensate for that), the risk of it draining him and killing him is there, which would fill the condition for it to be a fatal flaw.

There are two other Apollo kids whose fatal flaws I have an idea about. I don't subscribe to the idea that the whole cabin would have the same fatal flaw, after all they're all unique people even if they have the same godly parent, but it does make sense that demigods might inherit one of their godly parents' potential flaws (for Poseidon, we see a loyalty to his children regardless if they end up good or evil, so loyalty is certainly a factor; for Hades, we see him holding grudges against Olympus; Athena also shows an inability to admit to being wrong at any point; Apollo we got an entire pentalogy focusing on his character and the need to put responsibility solely on his shoulders is one such flaw, but also arrogance and anger, amongst other things, which is where I'm going with these next two kids).

The next kid I'm gonna briefly talk about probably won't surprise anyone who regularly talks to me because he's arguably my second-favourite Apollo kid and one that takes up a lot of my headspace at the moment, and that's Michael Yew. While his appearances are limited and only within one book, we do actually get a reasonably feel for his character. I'm tossing up between two potential fatal flaws for Michael - Anger and Pride (both of which are known Apollo traits). On the one hand, he's written as a character with a short fuse who gets into arguments and apparently scowls a lot, so it's logical to assume that his anger is going to get him into a lot of situations that he would be better off avoiding, but on the other hand, pride is what stops him from bending the knee, from apologising for his angry outbursts and making amends (we see this with Clarisse and the flying chariot - yes, there is a lot of anger involved in there, but there's also pride on both their sides; neither is truly willing to concede to the other, and they continue to clash). Anger gets him into messes, but his pride is what keeps him there, so they're arguably both strong candidates.

The other one I have an idea for, mostly because Apollo also expresses some concern about it in the book, is Austin Lake. Kayla, despite having equal amount of page time, more or less, I don't have pinned down well enough to theorise rather than headcanon, but with Austin I think we can make an educated guess that his might be Arrogance or Over-Confidence. He's a popular internet (or at least youtube) sensation, apparently, which could feasibly get to the head of a thirteen or fourteen year old boy, and in TON he tells Apollo that he can handle clearing the way for him, giving him a grin that Apollo himself says reminds him of his own, reckless and arrogant, approach to some things (I don't remember the exact quote but it's along those lines). From that, I'd say it's pretty inferable that Austin's fatal flaw is somewhere in that area.

I think I am drawn to a film-based Snowbaird AU because minus the conniving nature of the book’s internal monologue—and despite my background (the accent & voice, being AFAB, from a family of musicians in not-upper-crust Tennessee) being more similar to Lucy Gray’s than citizens of the Capitol—there are aspects of me that are far closer to Young Coriolanus than to anyone else.

Thankfully, I had enough liberal-minded relatives as a kid that I was never steeped as severely into White Southern racist misogynist classist ableist antisemitic heteropatriarchal etc. indoctrination (dehumanizing “others”) as Coryo or his family were in the Capitol. But I still didn’t receive the education I should have. I internalized many biases. As a teen, I was finally exposed to more knowledge and started to slowly become aware of how horrible the world can be. I was also in love at the time, and I hyperfixated on that.

But then, I lost that love—right around the time I was understanding “The Horrors™️.” Just like he did. I wasn’t in therapy till years later. And I hated that person for abandoning me, both for how they did it (without going into details) and their timing. I felt totally alone when the world came crashing down around me.

In canon, Lucy Gray was right to leave, and Snow was properly demented for his obsessive hatred. He was far more damaged and radicalized than I ever was, he caused her leaving (while my messy breakup was ultimately just a sad series of circumstances), and he became evil by his own choice.

But I would like to believe that I can heal—that anyone who’s been steeped in indoctrination can. That even if you’re in as deep a hole as he was in those woods beyond Twelve, you can still climb out of it—making that first different choice, to be honest, and a million little choices after that.

I guess I’m inclined to give him a chance at grace (after hard work) because when I lost my person, my life raft… I almost went down some dark roads, too. NOTHING like becoming the genocidal dictator President Snow became; I was mainly cruel to myself. But nonetheless.

I'M SO SORRY IT TOOK ME SO LONG TO SEE YOUR ANSWER TO MY ASK; thank you so much for answering though, omg I wasn't expecting to receive an entire analysis in response, it made me so happy 😭💚 Since I need more people to talk about Mushitarou with, now I wanna ask, do you have any headcanons for him and/or Yokomizo? 🥺👉👈 I want to write fic for them, but it's really hard considering that we know so little about both of them :' ) I'm also curious, do you have any thoughts as to why Yokomizo's face is shadowed? I think it would make sense if we couldn't see his face before the truth is revealed, as a representation of how Mushi is trying to distance himself from reality and him/forget about him/lie to himself about not caring about him (which is why I theorized the anime might reveal his face when said truth is revealed, but they didn't do that, rip), but during the final scene and even later in Mushi's hallucinations, his face is still obscured, so... I don't know. I just think it would have been powerful to see his face more clearly as Mushi heals more and is more accepting of his grief and how much he misses Yokomizo... but maybe it'll happen if when we get more of his arc later. Or maybe I'm just totally missing something and being delusional lol

Again, thank you so much for the detailed response before; Mushi needs so much more love 🥺💚

Why are you apologizing??? It's ok! I appreciate you reading it all in the first place! I'm really happy to talk about his character at any time. (Nice icon, btw!)

First off, if you do end up writing anything about him and/or Yokomizo, I would love to see it! That is, if you're ok with sharing it. :)

Headcanons, huh? Hm... you see, normally I try to pull at least a few things from the original authors' stories but... sad to say I know nothing about their irl inspirations asides from them being mystery writers, I believe, and that they did know each other.

I guess, here's a few thoughts from off the top of my head? They're not all headcanons exactly, but this is kind of the way I see them.

Yokomizo is the kind of person who is completely unfazed by anything that's not happening in his novels. I bet that when Mushitaro showed up with a completely different face he just went... "huh" and went back to writing and asking him for opinions.

Mushitaro argues on principle. Not because he actually disagrees or anything but just because he's a bit of a disagreeable person by nature. People like Poe or Ranpo will want him to do something with them and he needs to act like he doesn't want to, before finally relenting (he's still grumbling about it though). (<-he is secretly pleased people want to spend time with him)

Mushitaro canonically likes the occult, and if you can get him talking about this topic he can go on for a very long time, and he actually looks excited and eager about it - at least until he regains his self-awareness. Then he's back to pretending he's not that excited by it.

Yokomizo and Mushitaro met when they were preteens. Neither one had other friends and Mushitaro decided to announce his arrival by attempting to explain the mystery book Yokomizo was reading to... resident mystery expert, Yokomizo. (I believe Mushitaro was especially pompous what he was younger, and unfortunately also often wrong.) Yokomizo spent a very long time correcting him on mysteries and was so ecstatic that someone listened through the whole thing that he kept ambushing Mushitaro at school for his thoughts on various mysteries he was reading. Mushitaro absolutely thought he was being bullied for weeks before he realized that the other boy was attempting to befriend him.

Mushitaro is actually the sentimental type, unlike Yokomizo, who really isn't all that much. From the outside, it appears to be the opposite, since Yokomizo is prone to fantastic and excitable discussions of his new ideas while Mushitaro is seemingly dismissive and more realistic. However, Yokomizo is more than capable of scrapping beloved projects he's been working on for months if they aren't up to his standards (I think he's a bit of a perfectionist), while Mushitaro has a difficult time throwing away anything with sentimental value.

I am curious about Mushitaro's past a little; not in that I think it was anything really tragic or dramatic, but mostly in the way his father apparently told him to be kind to strangers, the way he can't seem to be all that assertive despite his posturing, the way his core coping mechanism appears to be just flat out denying he has sentimental feelings (even before Yokomizo's death). Idk. Something there.

I think further development of Mushitaro's dynamic with Ango could be really interesting. Assuming a future where he does get to start with the Special Division and Ango is not fired, I'd like to see them working together somehow. I think they could really play off each other well and that they'd have a lot of growth potential in that sense. Honestly, I'd take anymore interactions between them as I can get.

That's about it, honestly. Do you have any headcanons for them?

As for Yokomizo's face being shadowed, I feel like it has everything to do with this only being the Yokomizo in Mushitaro's mind. Even before his death, the Yokomizo we see is filtered through Mushitaro's memories of these events, and I suppose it's an artistic way to express how he's blocked some stuff out, like you said, but probably also to indicate that Yokomizo is not coming back.

There's a similar thing done in the manga and 55 Minutes with Oda whenever Dazai reminisces about him; I don't believe his face is ever shown, though it's not shadowed like Yokomizo's. So, that's what I suspect.

I hope these made some degree of sense... they're not super backed by canon, but I guess that's why they're headcanons huh? Haha.

He absolutely needs more love. I'm hoping people discuss him more after the anime.

Anyone who wants to, feel free to drop any headcanons you have about these two here!

Pls tell abt your Joe and Columbo headcanons? 👀

Thank you for your ask Anon :) I have quite a few headcanons for Joe and Columbo :) The main one being that I like to think that they met once (or maybe more than once) when they were younger. I think this is very possible with what we know in canon about their characters. Columbo grew up in New York and we get to hear his lovely family anecdotes throughout the series including in this episode. One of the first things Columbo says to Joe is the pinball reminds him of going to the corner candy store when he was a kid. Joe also fled to New York as a kid when he escaped from prison. So it could be possible that they met when they were both kids. Maybe just briefly or maybe they became friends. That could be why they have such a connection in the episode - they maybe aren't aware of it but they've met before.

This could even be alluded to in canon when Columbo says they have met before even if it was just Columbo seeing Joe doing his show without Joe realising. This is fascinating to me too as Columbo seems genuinely impressed with Joe and not just flattering him.

More like flirting tbh :) Then later when they are playing darts together at the Irish pub the story of Sergeant Gilhooley - his sergeant back when Columbo first joined the NYPD is shared. This is one of the few times we hear Columbo specifically reference that part of his life. I think it's really significant and shows how he's comfortable enough with Joe and prepared to share these little things about himself and his background. And he does it in such a way that's natural, friendly and warm and doesnt come over as just a ploy or distraction as it does with other suspects throughout the series. Joe too shares little pieces of his background. We don't get to read his book like Columbo does (although imagining what's in there would make great fanfic and headcanons) but we get a lot alluded to over the episode. It gives the viewer lots of scope to fill the blanks in themselves which is another reason I love this episode and this pairing. There is just so much subtext!!!! :) We hear Joes tales told in public with humour but when he talks to Columbo about being a kid alone on the streets of New York he becomes sad and distant for a moment as he remembers before his ready smile returns. This is a glimpse of the sadness beneath his outwardly jovial self. I think he had suffered real trauma and lost some of his family to the conflict. And that can also be a reason for his drinking. Trying to cope. And also for why he feels so strongly for his cause. I see Joe being taken in by the O'Connells first as a worker and then as an ally and this is why I think he is loyal to them. It isn't stated as such in the episode but I see Kerry as Joes nephew and his mother as Joes sister. And I see him being very protective over him to the point where Joe would definitely go to jail to spare Kerry and keep him safe. I also have thoughts about Joe and Kerry being a cute little found family with Columbo and Dog. And sometimes with Columbo's wife who I see as more his childhood bestie in my universe. I love Joe's collection of floofy jumpers and I think Columbo does too :) They are so snuggly. The way the episode ends with that whole hand holding 'we are getting engaged' scene and Joe's offer for Columbo to 'join him ' and Columbo actually accepting - it just gives me so many thoughts :) So many directions this could go in post-canon. In my 'verse where Joe gets a redemption arc and gets to use his writing and fundraising for peaceful, healing purposes I can see them going on little adventures and even Joe helping out on Columbo's cases. Like Columbo's wife gets to do in canon but Joe is helping out and being a sounding board actually on screen :) This would be my little spin off series:) I can picture them together in Joes lovely little house near the beach (which is one of my favourite houses in the series btw as it's not too fancy and just matches Joes personality perfectly) A beautiful sunset over the sea and Joe doing some writing while snuggled up with Columbo and Dog on the sofa or in their little garden. I see them sharing coffee in the mornings, going for walks along the beach with Dog, getting an ice-cream together, talking through cases or about Joes latest book…..

So many possibilities…… I just can't see any other suspect going bowling with Columbo but Joe so would. Perfect date night………bowling, dinner of chilli, then darts and drinks in the pub :) We actually get these lunch and drink dates in canon so we are blessed :) I love that we get a Columbo and suspect relationship that is on a more equal footing. They both even know that the other knows Joe did it but they are still just so friendly with each other and genuinely enjoy each others company. I love the chemistry between the characters and the actors. It made me seek out other films and shows that Clive Revill has done and he is such a lovely, talented and interesting person too. I love the subtext. There are just so many fascinating choices made throughout the episode from a shipping point of view……. To name but a few……. The whole first meeting with the pinball, crawling around on the floor together, the resting on the beds together, the lunch date, the casual hugs and touches, the sharing of their respective backgrounds, the pub crawl date complete with moonlit stroll and romantic backdrop, the hand holding over the table in the last scene…….etc…… It's just impossible not to ship :) And fun to put the characters in different situations. Being cute and fluffy together. Columbo has always been a special show to me because of childhood memories and the character is so wonderful. And with my fangirl gaze that just picks up any kind of subtext and runs with it - it was inevitable I'd eventually ship him with Joe. The case can be made with other suspects through the series of course and I can see that too….. But these two will always be my OTP of the series. I have so many ships that I love but these two were one of the first. And one of the only ones with hardly any content online (this was before Columbo became popular on Tumblr). So I thought I'd remedy that by creating a lil sideblog :)

Sorry for rambling on…….I was just so excited to answer an ask! Thank you again Anon :) Please feel free to ask anything else about what I've written here or anything at all about these two! Also please feel free to share your own headcanons for Columbo and Joe! Id really love to hear them :)