#it's the one i wrote at like 12am last night but it came out really well i think
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mold is the god of the kitchen wall
destiel fic - 1198 words - rating: G - divorce arc - read on ao3
It’s then that Cas realizes Dean didn’t pass him a beer like he usually does. It’s more than a courtesy between the two of them, and they both know it; beer is all atoms and alcohol in such meager qualities for Cas that it’s laughable. But it’s a ritual. It’s a sign of something shared, and something mutual. Dean takes a deep sip from his bottle and Cas feels the cold desert of his hands laid flat against the table.
A Cas POV deep dive into his and Dean’s kitchen conversation from 15x08.
thanks to @faithdeans for the lovely beta!!
Adam and Michael are fighting with themselves in the other room. Cas can hear them through the wall, back and forth, in the same monotone voice. He can’t work out what they’re saying to each other, though. He’s not sure he cares enough to anyway.
Dean walks in to the kitchen, and Cas’ back stiffens: automatically, like it’s innate, like the languid animal Dean usually draws out of him has turned to protective instincts with hackles raised. Dean saunters forward towards the fridge and twists open a beer with a sharp jerk of his thumb. He’s wearing the face he makes when he doesn’t want anyone to think he has feelings about what’s happening. For all Dean calls Cas oblivious, for all Cas fails to see in other places, that’s one thing that Dean gets wrong. Cas can read Dean like a book.
Dean speaks. “Maybe you went too far,” he says, as he settles against the counter.
He sounds, Cas thinks, rather ironically, like a school teacher chastising a child. The ‘maybe’ is simply there to be polite. Those are the only kind of words they exchange these days: Cas lives life between a rock and a hard place, between silence and bites of criticism.
He rolls his shoulders, burying the desire to kick back against Dean. It’s easier, all in all, to agree.
He repeats Dean’s empty word. “Maybe.”
It’s then that Cas realizes Dean didn’t pass him a beer like he usually does. It’s more than a courtesy between the two of them, and they both know it; beer is all atoms and alcohol in such meager qualities for Cas that it’s laughable. But it’s a ritual. It’s a sign of something shared, and something mutual. Dean takes a deep sip from his bottle and Cas feels the cold desert of his hands laid flat against the table.
“I mean, he’s been in lockdown for quite a while now, you know. Maybe you just went too fast.” Dean pauses, taking a deep breath.
Cas wonders if that’s the end of this conversation. There’s something in the air, in the way that Dean’s fingernail digs restlessly under the label of the bottle, which tells him there’s something else he wants to say. What’s a confession between two friends?
Dean ducks his head, the way he does when he feels like a conversation is over. Then he rears it again, and speaks like it’s a different topic. “What’s he doing now?”
But it’s the same topic. Dean is still talking about Michael. Yet all the foot-scuffing eyes-flickering fidgeting falls back as if it was never there, like Dean is trying to unspeak entirely innocent sentences.
The thing about reading Dean like a book is that sometimes, the pages are blank and he drops words randomly in a context which only makes sense to him in ink almost too pale to read. Maybe, then, Dean is more like the demon tablet. And Cas is the one drifting slowly closer to insanity, deciphering each coded phrase as they fall into his hands.
So he has the vague idea that perhaps, Dean was speaking in metaphor. That he wasn’t really talking about Michael.
Maybe you just went too fast.
Cas replies to the question Dean asked to end the pause stretching out between them like no man’s land. “No idea. He was very distraught.”
“Yeah, but what exactly did he say?” Dean doesn’t ask it nicely, but he doesn’t ask much nicely these days. He’s simply here on business. Here to fix the problem that needs fixing.
And Cas is here because… Well, because Dean needs him.
If Cas went slower, would Dean want him again then?
“‘Leave. Get out. I want you dead’,” Cas recites. There’s an apathy in him, he realizes, as the words leave his mouth entirely hollow but not at all brittle. When you haven’t got the heart to care, there’s nothing to break. He’s heard those words many times before anyway, from brothers. From friends.
“We didn’t bond,” Cas finishes, and he wants Dean to laugh at his words so badly. He aches for it. Apathy for all else but this; he abandoned his nest to put all his eggs in Dean’s basket.
He keeps his eyes fixed straight ahead on the wall. It’s brown, peeling, there’s mold making its way lazily and inevitably along it. He waits for the huff of laughter from Dean, for proof of his victory. It doesn’t come. Not even reluctantly, when one time, it would have come, and gladly. What is all this space between them? Cas keeps staring, and thinks, mold is the god of the kitchen wall.
Then he wonders, what does that make him.
Dean tilts his head back and swallows, not even beer, just probably more words. His hair glints hazel in the stainless steel green light of the kitchen. Cas gets the sudden and staggering desire to put his chin on his palm, rest himself against the table as he gazes lawlessly up at Dean, and say, I miss you.
You’re standing next to me in the same room but I’m stranded. And I miss you.
What a display of letting go of all self control that would be! What ecstasy to live in truth! What a moment when Dean would turn towards him and say thank god, you don’t know how much I missed you too, I’m sorry, I want you, please stay!
It’s four words away but it’s impossible; instead, Cas furls his arms further around himself like his body is his desire and if he just gets a hold on himself, tighter, he can keep it all at bay. But still the animal heart of him wobbles over, showing its stomach in the desperate need to feel the warmth of something, anything, underground.
Maybe Cas didn’t put his eggs in Dean’s basket. Maybe he buried them.
“Where’s Sam?” he asks, changing the topic with a bow of his head, just like Dean did. Look, Dean, he wants to say, if he can’t say anything else. I can speak in codes too. How much do you understand me?
Dean doesn’t miss a beat with the answer, like in all the minutes this sparse conversion has spanned, he’s never thought of anything other than the case at hand. “Eileen hit a snag with a case, so. He won’t be gone long.”
But Cas knows: Dean lies. Every thought he had and didn’t say was a thought he took out back and shot. Cas wishes he could see how many thoughts laying in the cemetery of Dean’s throat tasted like him. What was it Dean had once said - about when humans want something, and badly?
Maybe you just went too fast.
When the rumbling earthquake of Michael’s fury starts, it’s mainly a relief, as it means unity. No more of two old strangers standing, stranded, in a molding kitchen. Michael is something shared, something mutual. When they’ve lost all else, at least they haven't lost this ritual: the eye contact, the thumping of feet on concrete, his hand on the door and Dean pressing in close, behind him.
Even underground, his body is warm.
#i'm so so proud of this one#it's the one i wrote at like 12am last night but it came out really well i think#hellers this is my gift from me to you. enjoy <3#ALSO CASGIRLIES HIIIII#as a dean girl this was so fun to write as cas pov hehe#castiel#dean winchester#destiel#spn fic#spn ficlet#s15#divorce arc#deancas#destiel fic#ola writes
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Yes, My Lady?; Pt.2
Characters: Ada Tennant/fem!reader
Cw: a bit of angst, pinning, secrets to be spilled and more.. (just wrote this at 12am..so if there’s some spelling mistakes i apologize in advance :P)
A/n: I love my wife. Real.
The sudden question by Tennant made Y/n’s breath hitch. ‘move in together? It’s nearly been a few weeks since we met!’; she thought as Tennant smiled, looking around the apartment.
“I know its so sudden but, I could use the company my lady”
Sighing, Y/n didn’t know what to say, it was too sudden, yet something was telling her to accept.
“Well, in all honesty..I had thought about it for sometime, are you sure it’s okay?”
Tennant nodded, kissing her hand as Y/n felt her heart melt at the soft gesture. Of course, the move would take several days but Ada didn’t mind, as long as you’d join her
The following days felt endless, boxing stuff and making sure her things were all ready to go. Tennant was outside of what would be Y/n’s old apartment, being received with a hug on her behalf
“You’re here! Sorry I didn’t text you..I was busy gathering the last boxes”
Her lips found Y/n’s cheek, embracing her tightly while the last people finished up with Y/n’s boxes
“It’s alright darling, I’ve got a surprise for you. I’m certain you’ll love it”
After exiting the apartment complex, Ada had her arm linked with Y/n’s, opening the door of her car as they made their way towards Tennant’s home. During the car ride, her free hand found comfort in the soft, plush feeling of Y/n’s upper thigh
“I hope it’s not a trouble that my home is far away from the city”
Ada commented, making the tension between them lessen. As the pathway narrowed, a two story house could be seen from the distance
“I don’t mind, your home is lovely”
Y/n spoke, arriving to the driveway as they entered Ada’s home. A few hours of settling in and making her room cozy, Y/n went downstairs, staring at Tennant as she cooked. Her eyes looking all over the kitchen as Tennant smiled
“Are you hungry? I just finished making dinner, you’re welcome to join me”
Without hesitating, Y/n began taking out some silverware and plates for both her and Tennant; Dinner could’ve gone better, they both sat on opposite sides of the table, and the tension between them returned again. There was something she wasn’t telling Y/n, after finishing dinner, Tennant excused herself, quickly rushing towards the basement.
She decided to explore around the house, there were many pictures of Tennant and who, presumably, was her father. However, turning the frame to its backside, her full name was displayed..”Ada Tennant”. A sudden wave of panic hit her, she’s the missing daughter of Laurence Tennant! Suddenly, Y/n felt a hand on her shoulder
“Oh, it seems you’ve found some of my old photos..”- Tennant paused, looking at it while smiling -“I was rather a rebel as a kid back then.”
Holding Y/n’s wrist slightly, Ada came closer, staring into her e/c orbs
“You aren’t anymore? I’d be surprised, really”
She laughed, pressing Y/n against the table, a few pictures and books tossed onto the ground
“You don’t know what I’m capable of, sweetheart, you’re tempting me..I might not be able to resist no longer…”
Almost disappointingly, the bell rang, she let Y/n go back to her room, sighing and answering the door
Days, weeks, months..had passed and little by little, Y/n was discovering Ada’s secret. She would be gone almost everyday, and during the night, Ada would come home with a bag. Y/n noticed she was an arcanist, always doing anything rather than spending time with her. One night, curiosity got the best of her, and as she was following the steps to the basement, Y/n remembered.
Ada was her childhood friend, after the big crisis occurred, she went missing, along either some valuable gems. She was right, it looked like a museum full of precious diamonds and jewelry, some crafted by hand, others mined and the rest, stolen.
“Seems curiosity lives within you..”
Crap. Tennant smiled, taking her hand and tossing her onto the couch of the basement. She turned on the dim light of the room, letting Y/n see clearly what she had been hiding all this time. However, at the very end of the room, was a board with newspaper articles about her disappearance and..herself?
“Wait, you knew all this time that we met as kids? Why didn’t you tell me?”
She inquired, a bit offended as Ada came closer, taking a good look at the necklace she wore, holding it between her fingers as Tennant smiled
“You still wear the necklace I gifted you a few years ago..it seems you never forgot me either”
As she inched even closer, Y/n placed her hands on her shoulder softly, almost gasping as Ada’s hands traveled south
“All these diamonds yet..you stand out brighter than the rest..”
#reverse: 1999 tennant#reverse 1999 x reader#reverse: 1999#reverse 1999#ada tennant x reader#ada tennant#reverse 1999 tennant#tennant x reader
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Unloved, but not by you {part 1}
Pairings- Eddie Munson x (female) reader
Fic warnings for whole series (may not apply to some chapters) - fluff, angst and smut 18+
Word count- 2.0k
Sorry if this is shitty it’s 12am😭
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“Dear diary,
Today is mine and Carters 1 year anniversary and he hasn’t even came to see me yet. I keep hoping that maybe he’s stuck in traffic or, maybe he overslept but as time goes on I feel like …maybe he just forgot. I should have known though, it’s a habit of his to forget, especially when it comes to our relationship. I feel so alone, but I can’t break up with him, he’s one of the most popular besides Jason Carver at Hawkins high…and I do..I do love him don’t get me wrong but right now I just feel so neglected. I even got him a present…now idk what to do with it..”
You finished writing with a sigh, your pen leaving little scribbles on the paperr above where you just wrote, reading over your entry. “This sucks..” you groaned, throwing your head back into your pillow. You eventually rolled over and looked at your alarm clock that flashed “5:00pm” in that stupid red color…just mocking you and your feelings. 5:00 turned to 6 and 6 turned to 7 and 7 turned to 8 and so on and on until it was too late to even think he’d be coming. You were hopeful, thinking maybe this important date wouldn’t be missed by him but you were terribly wrong, more wrong than you’ve been in awhile. The time came for you to eventually lay down and get some rest for the dragging day ahead , filled with apologizing from Carter tomorrow at the lunch table. They were useless but what could you really do?
The alarm clock on the side of your bed rang aloud, beeping in your ear repeatedly until your hand slammed down on the top to stop it. You groaned raising your head to look at the time, your vision blurry. You sat up, your hair a mess and morning breath hitting you in the face as you yawned into your hand “mom said wake your ass up” your head whipped over to see your little sister Erica standing in your door way, arms crossed and an attitude smeared on her face
“Who the hell told you, you could just barge into my room without knocking you brat?!” You hissed at the little girl who honestly had the mouth of a teen
“Mom did if you wanna know so bad…rats nest” Erica said the last bit while looking at your hair before walking away, telling you once again to get up and come downstairs for breakfast before school. You sighed heavily, eyes closed as you tried not to get irritated. You eventually got up and got ready, the events from the night before flooding your brain once again, you wanted to feel upset but you didn’t let yourself, why let some asshole get you down ? You don’t.
The time came for you to eventually get to school, upon arriving, your boyfriend ran up to you, bringing you into a kiss. “Hey baby” you didn’t say anything , just nodded. “Is something…wrong?” He asked obviously oblivious. You stopped walking and turned around to look at him, your face showing you were irritated and eyes narrowed to a glare “are you serious right now?” You ask, your head cocking to the side a bit, a smug laugh escaping your mouth “Carter, do you have any idea what yesterday was?” you waited for an answer before finally getting one that made your insides turn with anger “uhm…wait I know this- uhm- shit…were we suppose to hang out or something? If so I was with the boys, you know we hang everyday Sunday” Carter nodded his head and tried to put his arm around your shoulder but you immediately dodged it “it was our one year Carter…one fucking year and you forgot” you were on the verge of tears now but you didn’t let them escape, “baby…fuck can we talk about this later? I’m sorry it slipped my mind”
“Slipped your mind? Just like everything fucking else? It slipped your mind like that?” You didn’t give him time to respond. You just stomped away, I mean come on we all know what he was gonna say, some stupid excuse, hell he didn’t even remember your birthday, when you told him the day before, instead he just went to hang with the boys at the lake…without even asking if you’d wanna come. You were fed up, absolutely and utterly fed up and so lost in your thoughts you weren’t watching where you were walking, soon bumping into a taller figure. “Someone seems occupied today” you didn’t even have to look up to see who you bumped into, you could tell by the hands that were infested with rings on each finger helping to grab your stuff and that hellfire shirt, your brother had the same one, and that very oddly soothing voice that just makes you comfortable literally anywhere. “Shit, I’m sorry Munson I just have a lot on my mind right now” you say trying to keep it cool, not wanting to seem emotional. You both stand up and Eddie hands you your books with a small smile, he leans against a locker and tilts his head to the side a bit “let me guess…it’s the guy..I told you not to date because he was a ginormous dick but you did anyways and now you’re finding out just ho-“ “Eddie, has anyone ever told you how annoying you can be at times, seriously this is my relationship, just leave it alone” eddie obviously saw you were upset about what he had said and immediately bent down to look at you, lifting your chin with his index finger. You shooed him away and looked around hoping your boyfriend or any of his snotty friends didn’t see just how close you actually were with “the freak” Eddie Munson. “Eddie I have to get class” you began to walk pass him but Eddie grabbed you by the arm, his head hung to the side and he turned around to look at you , his eyebrow raised “y/n…seriously if something is going on you can talk to me” you sighed and dropped your head down to look at your feet, you squeezed your eyes shut, and finally looked back up at Eddie “it has nothing to do with you Munson, now please, I have to get to class” Eddie let go of your arm , your cold response hitting him right in the heart. He watched as you walked away. You really did change since you started dating that jock. Your friendship with Eddie wasn’t as strong as it was before and it was honestly all your doing, you left him because you felt you would be made fun of if caught near him, also your boyfriend didn’t like him very much, as a matter of fact no one really did, no one popular at least. Eddie knew though, deep down the old you was still there, but it wouldn’t surface as long as you were with that asshole.
You finally made it to class and felt eyes on you, when turning around you saw your boyfriend intensely staring at you from the back row. You glared at him and turned around trying to focus on your class but the feeling of being watched made you highly irritated. The whole class period you weren’t able to focus and when the bell finally rung you hurriedly got up from your seat and made your way to the door but unfortunately you were too slow. Your boyfriend if that’s even what you wanted to call him, grabbed you by the arm and yanked you back inside the empty class. His face was red, he seemed mad, why was he mad? When he was the one who forgot your one year?? “What do you want Carter?” You asked bluntly. “Have you been talking to that freak Y/n?!” With those words you felt your heart sink to your stomach, you forced a laugh that just came out nervous and stuttered “what? Carter seriously come on..” Carter gritted his teeth “Jason told me he saw you talking to that freak after you walked off on me…and he grabbed you by your arm??” Your heart started to beat faster now, becoming nervous, worried even and not just for yourself,,,but for Eddie too “Carter….Jason is lying, I wasn’t with Eddie and he didn’t touch me I swear” Carter nodded, jumping up and down to cool himself off “he better be Y/n if I even find out that freak even lays a finger on your I’ll beat his ass” with that Carter wraps his arm around your shoulders, walking with you to your next class, and your class after that and after that until it was time for lunch. Upon arriving to the lunchroom your eyes immediately look for Eddie who was sitting down at a table full of his club members. You felt a little rush of relief knowing none of the boys went to talk to him or threaten him about earlier. “So about earlier, how about I come over tonight, climb through your window and I can make up for forgetting yesterday huh?” You look up at Carter, trying to comprehend his stupid suggestion, he really thinks sex..will fix this and it made you sick. So you came up with a excuse, sitting down at the table “oh baby, I can’t. I promised Lucas a brother and sister horror movie night tonight!” You looked over at Lucas with a ‘just go with it’ look on your face and he caught on pretty fast , agreeing with your lie. “I’m sure Sinclair wouldn’t mind rescheduling, right sinclair?” Lucas looked at you, waiting for you to say something to get him out of this hole “actually, we’ve been planning this for weeks, and I finally got the movie a few days ago, we’ve been dying to watch it…I don’t think we can wait, but I’m sure you can…I mean it wouldn’t be hard” you gave Carter a smile and got up from the table “I have to use the bathroom” you walked to the big double doors that separated the hallway from the cafeteria, on your way, signaling stealthily for eddie to come out after you just a few minutes after.
You waited around the corner for 5 minutes before hearing the doors open and shut, the loud voices of children pouring out before being locked back in. Eddie, appearing around the corner. “Eddie we really need to talk..” you pulled the boy by his arm and down the hall to the janitors closet, both of you getting inside to be able to speak without being seen or heard. You looked at Eddie, a nervous look plastered on your face as you fidgeted with your fingers before speaking “Carver…he …saw us talking earlier and told Carter…now he’s like really fucking antsy and I just…I-“ you tried to find your words but they were stuck in your throat. “Why does that fucking matter? Why can’t we talk we’re friends right?” You didn’t say anything “right…Sinclair” you furrowed your brows and looked down then back up at Eddie with a sad look “not anymore Eds…Carter he’s dangerous, I don’t want anything bad to happen to you, please tel me you understand ” Eddie stood there, his doe eyes were sad, like he’d just been hit with the most heartbreaking shit he could experience. “Eddie, please say something” Eddie took a deep breath and nodded slowly “as you wish, y/n” and with that Eddie exited the janitors closet leaving you alone, the dim light flickering inside. You felt a knot grow in your throat knowing you couldn’t run after him, knowing you just threw away one of the best people you had…and all to make sure he’s safe…right..or maybe it’s because you know…nevermind.
a few minutes passed before you then exited the janitors closet. You walked back to the cafeteria, when inside you looked over at the table Eddie had been at and noticed he wasn’t there anymore, neither were his friends. You bit your lip and made your way back to your table sitting down next to Carter, his arm wrapping around you as he scarfs his food down, laughing and making sexist jokes. You felt sad and empty, and there wasn’t much you could do about it.
#stranger things#eddie munson#eddie munson x reader#eddie munson x y/n#eddie munson x fem!reader#eddie munson x female reader smut#eddie munson smut#eddie munson angst#slow burn#stranger things fic#joseph quinn#eddie munson imagine#stranger things fanfiction#eddie munson x sinclair!reader#eddie x reader#joseph quinn fluff#joseph quinn smut#eddie munson x you
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[author’s note] I wrote this because I had class today, but woke up at 3AM and couldn’t go back to sleep and it occured to me that I could use Inumaki’s cursed energy for my own good. (Went to sleep at 12AM, had to get up at 7AM, so I really only got 3 hours of sleep 😐)
# SLEEP
the three times you fell asleep and the one time he made you | inumaki x reader
warnings: yandere, stalking, Inumaki using his cursed energy on the reader, reader being an atrocious sleeper (same, ngl).
synopsis: Reader falls asleep several times around Inumaki. After the first time, he develops somewhat of an interest in them and begins following them around. Only to realize that they don’t sleep very well. He then tries everything to ensure a good night’s rest for them only to dwindle down to what he thinks is his last option—his cursed speech. He thinks he’s helping, but he gets out of hand.
song: none.
photo cred (left to right): 1 2 3
You hadn’t meant to. You were simply sitting on a bench outside, conveniently situated beside Inumaki as the students of Tokyo Jujutsu High argued about the upcoming school festival. All you remember was your body becoming lethargic and your eyelids drooping. And then, he felt something heavy on his shoulder. You had fallen asleep on him.
He was quite shocked. You and him weren’t very close—in fact, you had never given him the time of day. There were no hard feelings towards each other or anything. You just never crossed paths with him before. But with the school’s festival coming up, you had to meet with him and the other second-years. The bickering about what was to be done and by who carried on for what felt like hours.
And you hadn’t gotten a good night’s rest. So, you ended up falling asleep on him. He didn’t bother waking you up, or even quieting the others—who had yet to notice that you were asleep. He just let your sleep.
By the time you woke up, the conversation was over. And everyone had been staring at you, having finally noticed how quiet you had been, your drool having seeped into the fabric of Inumaki’s uniform. You woke up panicked and flustered, getting annoyed with Megumi and Yuji for not waking you. They just shrugged you off and blamed Nobara, who hadn’t taken kindly to taking the fall for the whole ordeal. You apologized to Inumaki over and over, bowing deeply. He tried to play it off as though he didn’t care. But he came off shy in the end, shaking his hands as he mumbled, “Salmon.”
His fellow second-years never let him hear the end of it, teasing him ruthlessly about the interaction between you two.
—
Inumaki had taken a liking to you, subconsciously following you around whenever you caught his eye. It usually resulted in him being scolded for being late, considering you always seemed to be going in the opposite direction of where he needed to be.
He tried to work up the courage to talk to you, but he just couldn’t. So he opted to follow you around instead. He knew it was wrong, but he kept justifying his actions by affirming that he was only waiting for the right time to befriend you.
From all his time spent watching you, he learned something about you. You never slept—at least, not properly. You took naps. And when you attempted sleep, you ended up startling awake in the middle of the night.
Inumaki knew he should’ve minded his own business. But he couldn’t stand to watch your health gradually deteriorate from your constant lack of sleep. So he decided that he ought to do something about it.
The next time he saw you at school, he managed to pull you aside and ask to talk. He originally intended to talk with you about your visible exhaustion. But within the first couple of phrases—which you hadn’t understood anyway—you had fallen asleep yet again. This time, you were just sitting there, your chin tilted towards your chest. Eyes closed and breaths soft.
He thought that you looked rather uncomfortable like that, so he brought your head to his shoulder and let you sleep that way. It was quiet and peaceful for a while, and he felt content knowing that you were getting your much needed rest. But then, Panda and Maki came to find him, shouting and blabbering about how he should’ve shown up when they needed him. But he merely placed a single finger to his lips and shushed them, gesturing towards you who was sleeping soundly on his shoulder.
But their noise had already awoken you, your eyes fluttering open as you lifted your head, rubbing your eyes. The second-years all watched with subtle amusement, finding you rather adorable. But you were embarrassed yet again, apologizing manically before running off to do what you had to do for the day.
—
In a way, Inumaki had kind of become friends with you. He no longer had to follow you around because you seeked him out instead. You always came to talk to him during breaks or when you had free time even though you still couldn’t quite understand what he was saying half of the time.
Luckily, Maki and Panda broke down most of it for you. Even Yuji had helped you decipher Inumaki’s words once or twice. You seemed content with your friendship. But Inumaki was more worried about how he could see that you still weren’t getting good sleep.
He didn’t need to follow you home and peer into your window to know that much. Not that he did that anymore. He felt it was a serious invasion of privacy now thar he could no longer use his previous excuse since he had befriended you.
Nonetheless, he tried time and time again to talk you into falling asleep like he had done before. But now that you knew some of what he was saying, you found it far too interesting to fall asleep to. So he had no choice but to talk about what he had learned in class during his first year, that had put you right to sleep.
It wasn’t that the basics of jujustu were boring or anything, but you had already had them drilled into your head over and over. You couldn’t help but fall asleep when he began to talk about the basics. Even though you could only understand bits and pieces, it still put you to sleep with ease. And Inumaki let you rest again, your head on his shoulder.
Anyone passing by caught the memo and just left you two be. Even the loudmouthed Gojo had nothing to say when he saw you both, other than a murmur about how he thought you looked rather tired but didn’t want to say anything because he had been told that he could come off “a little rude sometimes.”
—
Honestly, Inumaki was growing frustrated. Even if he could get you to sleep, you wouldn’t for long. And you somehow started to look even more tired than you had before you went to sleep.
You had gathered in the general area of the school, the staff and students alike mulling around as they discussed what would be happening for the day. You were sat beside Inumaki on a bench, staring down at your shoes as you tried your best to stay awake while Gojo blabbered on and on.
By this point, everyone had noticed your lack of sleep.
Even the staff was beginning to worry about you. And Megumi, who usually kept his mouth shut, surprisingly had something to say. “You look like you could use some sleep.” It was an offhanded comment, just something he said in passing.
But it drew immediate attention to you. Yuji, who had been rather clueless about your exhaustion, took a good look at you before agreeing. Nobara too. And Maki and Panda muttered something in agreement.
You suddenly felt insecure, pulling and tugging at the skin of your face, wondering if you really looked as bad as they were implying. They seemed to notice the shift in mood, so they all went about their own ways. Leaving you and Inumaki by yourselves.
You almost got up to leave, ready to get the day started despite your desperate need for sleep. But Inumaki grabbed you by the wrist, glancing up at you from where he sat on the bench. The same bench that you fell asleep on for the first time the day that you two met.
You looked at him momentarily, eyebrows raising as you stifled a yawn. Your eyes watering and lips pursing because of it. He could tell that you were exhausted. Just looking at you gave it away.
And he would be lying if he said that he wasn’t tired of trying to help you. Chasing you around and coming up with boring stories to tell, hoping you would fall asleep long enough to be able to continue functioning for the day. He was tired of playing this game with you. He just wanted you to be well rested, that’s all.
He couldn’t quite pinpoint why he cared so much. He just did. And he knew that there was still one option left that he had yet to try. He wanted to refrain from using it. But surely, he could make an exception for you, right?
It was either he continued to follow you around, talk your ear off, and lull you to sleep. Or he could—
His hand reached for the zipper covering his mouth. You watched with wide eyes as he tugged it down. You had heard rumors and whispers of what he could do, and for some reason, you felt as though you didn’t want to stick around and see him in action. You tried to pull away, but his grip tightened.
You caught sight of the pattern on his tongue as he opened his mouth and spoke, “Sleep.”
Your knees buckled instantaneously. You vaguely hoped that a teacher had stayed around; that they had witnessed Inumaki use his cursed energy against you. But when your eyes were fluttering closed and no one was heard or seen coming to your rescue, you began to doubt it. You tried to fight it; tried to force your eyes open. But you just couldn’t. You briefly panicked, feeling him pulling you up to sit on the bench again. Your head lolling over and onto his shoulder. You wanted to scream, to run, to do something. But your body wouldn’t listen to you.
But in all honesty, even if you could move your body, you most likely wouldn’t have. After all, it felt good to finally succumb to sleep. His hands patted your hair and he watched you finally get the rest you needed.
#inumaki imagines#inumaki headcanons#inumaki x reader#inumaki hcs#inumaki x you#inumaki drabbles#cw yandere#cw stalking#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jujutsu kaisen drabbles#jujutsu kaisen headcannons#yandere inumaki#yandere jujutsu kaisen#yandere jjk x reader#yandere toge inumaki
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slow dancing in the night
→ Pairing. Taehyung x reader
→ Genre. established relationship, fluff, slice of life, model!taehyung, model!reader, taehyung missed you a lot, he is starving (his words not mine), gets a bit hot by the last 40 lines, mentions of oral (f) so I guess this counts as mature content, implied smut, making out (kinda), there is a bit of swearing
→ Summary. what could possibly be better than coming home after a long day of work to someone you love and missed a lot ?
→ Word count. 3.2k (!!!)
→ because I wrote this over a year ago when I still didn't know what I was doing with my writing, I had to go through a deep process of editing and re-writing before posting it. This might not be my best work but it's still a fic that I really really like :,)
→ song rec. slow dancing in the dark, Joji// still with you, Jungkook
Fridays have always been exhausting days for both you and your boyfriend, especially on runways weeks. As models, you were put under a lot of pressure.
Pressure to be perfect, to smile but never smile too much, to look good, to not fall on stage.
Falling has to be the most tragic thing that can happen to your carreer as a model, the hungry stares of thousands of photographers and reporters ready to share the latest news to the press.
Yeah, it was exhausting.
This week was no exception... or maybe it was since, this time, you were the only one working until late.
It’s four in the morning and you’re already on your way out - kind of running late, oBviOusLy - quietly wishing your boyfriend a good day.
He is not working today.
That lucky bastard.
He gets to enjoy his free day in bed, lazing around, while you work your ass off all day. He mumbles something that you assume is a sort of goodbye. He is still asleep.
You look at him one last time before leaving the room and smile. He looks so peaceful.
You still remember the day you met, by pure luck even though you both call that fate. That was 5 years ago, when you just debuted your career as a model and were not that comfortable around high heels.
Okay no. Let’s be real.
You hated wearing them because you couldn’t walk in heels higher than 5 cm.
It’s still a wonder how you managed to make it in the first place.
Were you wearing flat shoes for the audition ? Damn you really must’ve done an impression on the judges if they made you pass without the heels try-on.
Your first day at the agency was chaotic to say the least. Your manager made you walk around the building, to visit she said. She made you wear heels. HEELS. That devilish person.
But, thank to that, you got to meet Taehyung. Your eyes landed on him as you were visiting the lounge and couldn’t tear them away from his figure. The poor man had to witness you fall down because you weren’t watching your steps anymore.
I mean.
Who could blame you ??
That was Kim frEaking Taehyung
!!!
He even came to help you get back on your feet and asked if you were alright, kind of amused.
It’s not everyday you see someone falling down in here, let alone a newbie
Let’s be honest, you were so embarrassed.
First day of work and you’re already failing falling.
That night when you came home, you spent the night wearing heels and prayed really hard you’d never have to face him again. After all, the building was big enough and there were enough workers that you could avoid Taehyung easily
If only
The NeXt day, you were told that you had a couple shooting, with none other that Kim Taehyung.
GreaT
He would occasionally tease you about your fall and check on you to see if everything was alright. He watched you carefully as you were walking around with heels.
From up close he looked even more handsome.... :)
After this day, you started talking with Taehyung more and more. He introduced you to everyone around the agency. You met outside of work, got to know each other. You both became regally good friends but there was something lingering in the air, in the way you’d look at each other or stood so close to him after a couple glasses of wine that you could breathe his air.
So what was bound to happen happened and you went from friends a to lovers without really noticing it.
He was still your best friend...somehow
Eventually, you took things to the next level and moved in together... maybe a half and a year ago or so ? You’ve never been happier in your life
And, well, you’d actually be happier if you could spend the day with boyfriend instead of running around trying to find god knows which accessories you need for the rehearsal.
8 in the morning is noT a time to be doing cardio.
Especially while wearing heels
Become a model they said, it’ll be fun they said
“Y/n! Come here please I need you to try on this dress before you go!” Your personal stylist calls “I made sure to fix it yesterday so it’d be a perfect fit for the show”
You stop your tracks and go to her “make this quick i have to go get changed before 9 otherwise I’m screwed. Why did they even decide to do the rehearsals so early today ?” You sigh, frustrated, and put on the dress she’s handing you “thank you”
“Okayyy...it looks great. Gold looks amazing on you.” She smoothes the dress and gives an approving nod, visibly satisfied ; “You’ll look perfect for the Grand Finale. Oh god it’s already 8:30 you better go before Mr.Kim throws a fit because you’re late”
You both giggle ; “thank you for fixing the dress Naeun, see you later today. Well, probably tonight. Byeeee”
The rehearsal seems to never end. You’re squeezed in dozens of different outfits, gorgeous for sure but sO tight. Mr. Kim, the one who organised the runway, is such a perfectionist that you have to re-do some things multiple times before he’s satisfied. One time the lighting isn’t right, the other the models are walking too fast, not on beat and so on.
Everyone hates him for that but he always makes the best shows so you just follow.
After multiple tries, the rehearsal finally comes to an end. It’s already 4PM. You barely get time to breathe and go pee before you’re back into the ‘running-around-to-find-my-dress-and-fix-my-makeup-oh-god-i-gotta-be-on-stage’ crazy mess.
Walking on the runway feels amazing, running backstage is terrible.
It’s so hot and small back there you can hardly move around well.
It takes 2 hours for the whole fashion show to be over, one more for pictures outside the catwalk and chat with reporters. Since you’re kind of a famous model now, you get invited to the afterparty and spend few extra hours interacting with some celebrities that attended the show. Other models were invited and you’re happy to see familiar faces amongst them. Jimin, an old colleague and friend of yours, comes your way and compliments you. You chat with him for a while before deciding you’ve had enough for the day and leave the party. A few more people greet you on your way out.
A taxi takes you back to you company, where you left your stuff in the morning. You spend an extra thirty minutes getting rid of your heavy makeup and striping off that gorgeous but awfully tight golden dress you’ve been wearing ever since the end of the runway.
Now, you can FinaLLy go home. yassssss
It’s almost 12am when you leave the agency and climb into yet another taxi. The ride is quiet, background music playing over the car’s radio, and you take some time to look at what you were gifted for your performance : fancy makeup products, accessories, pieces of clothing-but not those from the runway, you sadly never get to keep those. Being kinda famous has its perks :,)
You then decide it’s time to warn Taehyung you’ll arrive soon and send him a few texts. As if he was waiting for them, he instantly replies saying he’ll be waiting for you and proceeds to spam you with heart emojis. Sometimes, it looks like this man just discovered what emojis were and is trying to use them as much as possible. What a child…
It’s way past midnight when you finally step into your duplex and the first thing you notice is that the place is way too quiet.
Maybe Tae went back to sleep, who knows, it’s super late after all…
:(
You remove shoes and jacket and drop your bags in the entrance before going further and you call out quietly “anyone here? Tae, you sleeping?”
There is a faint glow from the tv on your right but the sound has been muted.
Weird…
“Taehyung ?" You call one last time
Suddenly, two strong arms wrap themselves around your waist and you’re pulled into someone’s chest. You gasp, almost scream, but soften up when you feel the warmth on your back
“Hi baby” a deep voice says in your ear, sending chills down your spine “I missed you”
You turn around and are very pleased to see a handsome face and a warm exposed chest your boyfriend smiling at you.
“Mhm, missed you too” You wrap your arms around him and rest your head against his chest, happy to hear his heartbeat. Taehyung places his head atop of yours and gently strokes your hair. You tighten your grasp around him and hum.
Few seconds later, he lifts your chin up and gently lays a kiss on your lips.
“How are you doing?” He asks, his right hand cupping your cheek. The warmth of it is comforting.
“Exhausted, but you know how it goes” You shrug and he smiles
“Not too tired for dinner ? I could cook something if you want”
“Mhm... let me just go shower and put something else on” You sadly let go of him
“Sure, go ahead” he whispers and you give him a kiss before regretfully tearing yourself away from him.
You walk up the stairs to your bedroom, where you find the bed undone. You smile, Taehyung never really liked making the bed and, very honestly, neither did you. You slump onto the mattress and bury your face into the pillows, inhaling his scent. Lavender. Relaxing. Just like he is.
After a warm shower, you find a t-shirt Taehyung left on a chair in the room and wear it. It’s big enough to reach your thighs and, if you were more energised, you’d probably stay like this. You grab large pants and put them on.
Once again, you smell lavender all around you.
When you’re back in the living area, you see Taehyung busying himself in the kitchen. He hears your steps and his eyes find yours as a smile appears on his face when he notices that you’re wearing his shirt
“My shirt looks better on you than it’d ever do on me” He teases, his gaze longing on your frame.
“maybe I should keep it then” you smile and ask ; ”Do you need any help?”
“no no no no no, you’ve worked enough already. Go and have some rest. I'll call you when everything’s ready okay?”
Too tired to argue on this anyways -and thankful for the given rest-, you go lay down on the couch, your body oriented to let you look at Taehyung.
As he hums and moves to the chill music that was playing in the background, you start to detail his beautiful figure. From the curl of his dark hair (which you knoW are so so soft to the touch) to his beautiful profile and his nose you love so much down to his broad shoulder and then his tanned abs you see from time to time when the opened shirt of his pyjama moves according to his steps.
oH! Let’s not forget his perfect hands gripping at the pan’s handle while he cooks… vegetables? Something like that yeah.
Taehyung is giving his best into what he’s cooking. Vegetables with rice, that’s the only thing he could do quickly.
Quickly as in less than half an hour, unlike his friend Namjoon who’d take this time just to cook the rice.
The music he put earlier is slowly starting to bore him. After washing his hands, he reaches out for his phone and plays a different playlist. It’s one you name yourself when the two of you were still friends (aka not dating yet). “Taetae fm” because you once joked he should have his own broadcasting channel on the radio. He’d always criticise the music playing so why not have his own channel 👀
“You know Y/n, I actually watched the fashion show live this afternoon. I mean, of course you know because I always do that haha. Anyways, you really were the highlight of the runway tonight. And I’m not saying this in a biased point of view. Okay I might be a bit biased as your boyfriend but I swear that it’s true!! You literally shone back there, especially in that gold dress you were wearing and even the audience was impressed by your looks maybe you didn’t see it on stage but some cameras filmed their reactions and everyone was looking at you. Really, you were so gorge-oh” Taehyung looks at you and smile fondly “Of course you’re asleep, baby”
He lets his phone aside and checks the now cooked food before making his way to the couch. There’s a blanket on the sofa, he covers you with it, scared you might get cold. Taehyung put a loose strand of hair behind your ear and places a kiss on your chin.
You slowly open your eyes and find yourself face to face with him. You both smile.
“Hi there beautiful” He whispers
“what time is it? Did I sleep until the morning?” You’re scared of having slept through the entire nap without realising
“almost 1:20am, I just finished cooking. I thought you might be cold so I went to cover you with the blanket. You should go enjoy the food while it’s still hot, imma go to the toilet”
You nod as an answer and watch him leave upstairs. Getting up from the warmth of the couch is the hardest part so you keep the soft blanket draped around your shoulders and walk towards the kitchen. You grab two bowls and two pairs of chopsticks that you place on the counter along with glasses and a bottle of water.
You then go take care of the rice and the vegetables, which you mix in the pan. The song playing changes and your favourite nighttime tune starts.
“I don’t want a friend, I want my life in two” you sing along
“Waiting to get there, waiting for you” Taehyung’s voice startles you as he grabs your wrists and pulls your back close to him. You smile as he makes the both of you dance slowly. You put his arms around you so it’s like he’s hugging you from the back. You swing around for a little while, enjoying the close proximity as you both softly hum the song, making your body vibrate against each other, moving in perfect coordination.
“I love you” he whispers in your ear and then kisses it, sending chills down your spine, before lifting one of your arm up to make you turn so that you’re now facing him “did my baby sleep well?” You nod as you place your arms around his waist, paying attention to go under the shirt so you’re touching as much skin as possible.
Taehyung chuckles before asking you in that same, chill-sending, low deep voice ; “Still hungry? Because I’m starving”
If you didn’t just wake up, you would’ve definitely caught that lust in his eyes and also the fact that this wasn’t as innocent as it seemed.
As an answer, your stomach growls pretty loudly, making Taehyung laugh . “I’ll take that as a yes. Sit down, princess. Let me take care of you”
You do as he says, jumping on a stool, detailing all of his moves. You only realise how hungry you actually were when you start eating. Rice with vegetables has never tastes better. You eat everything in less than 5 minutes when you’d usually take your time to finish your plate.
“Damn, that was a well needed dinner! Thank you Tae” you mess a bit with his soft locks
“Imagine me who was waiting for you all evening!! I was hungry too” He pouts.
“Oh come on, I was working today. Cardio in heels isn’t the best way to wake up, let alone spend the whole day standing in tight clothes. When I think you has a day off… pfff. I saw the bed, I’m sure you stayed there all day, you lazyyyyyyyyy ass.”
He mumbles some gibberish and you giggle, knowing that you're right. He looks away, crossing his arms and obviously sulking. You leave your stool and stand behind him, wrapping your arms around his neck. You leave a few kisses on his cheek and neck
“- Don’t be such a babyy. You know I love you.
- You do?
- of course, you dummy” you bop his nose "Sooo, what do we have for desert?
- You. Uh I mean!! Yoghurt, fruits, cakes, fruits…anything” he clears his throat
“Great! What do you prefer?” You open the fridge
“ I’d very happily eat you out honestly but an apple sounds good”
“Oh sur- wait whaT!?” You snap your head to him, eyes wide open
what did he sayyyyyyyy?????
whaT am I even supposed to say noW oh my goddddd
You close the fridge’s door, suddenly not so yogurt-hungry.
There’s a sudden silence between the two of you, only disturbed by the music still playing in the background.
“Mhm? What is it?” He turns around to face you, asking so innocently “did I say something wrong ?”
This man knows what he is doing for sure. Has he ever been that straightforward before ?
Taehyung stands and closes the distance between your bodies, now towering over you.
He lowers himself slightly to speak in your ear “what is it baby? Mhm?” You feel his smile on your cheek when he lays a kiss on it “what happened to my all proud and fierce y/n who was so confident telling me I was being lazy all day, huh? Tell me” He lays another kiss on your temple
OkaY
now he’s being a tease
Great
1 A.M. fluffy and bare chested teaser Taehyung
gReAT
Anyhow, it’s a good turn on.
Really.good.freaking.turn.on
Being tired and turned on was definitely not a good mix for you. You could feel the heat rising in your body and hear your heart pounding in your ears.
“Tae…”
He laughs gently seeing you silently begging for more, brushing your face with his lips, teasing another kiss.
“Tsk tsk, you gotta speak darling, I cannot guess”
You should calm down and go to sleep, it’s 1am and you have work tomorrow you should definitely-
“Fuck-“ You sigh and grab his face, sealing your lips together while closing your eyes.
It doesn’t take long for that kiss to turn into a heated make out session.
You grab and pull some of his dark curls while his hands travels under his your shirt.
You break the kiss just a second to catch your breath.
“Have i ever told you you have the perfect body?” Taehyung asks
“Did I ever tell you how perfect you are??” You reply
He laughs, deep raspy laugh.
You’re too tired for this
And because you’re tired, you’re even more horny :D
Taehyung puts his hands behind your thighs and you jump, locking your legs around his waist, hands still in his hair, lips against his while carries you to the bedroom.
He leaves your lips to travel down your jaw and then collarbone. You throw your head back.
Taehyung gently lays you on the mattress of your king sized bed and makes it his personal mission to pleasure you tonight.
#taehyung fics#taehyung fanfic#kim taehyung au#taehyung fluff#bts fanfic#taehyung#taehyung ff#fluff#implied smut#model taehyung#bts fics#taehyung oneshot#taehyung one shots#taehyung one-shots#taehyung smut#kim taehyung x reader#taehyung au#it's 2am what am I doing#slow dancing in the night
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The Criminal Psychology Majors, Jason Todd x Fem!Reader Part 8/?
Word Count: 1.6k
Author’s Note: Y/N - Your Name, A/N - Any Name (Your Best Friend’s Name)
This one is shorter because of the last one’s length.
Hi everyone! By the time you see this, I will probably be out and therefore cannot update the other parts with this one’s link, so don’t worry about that if you notice it.
Warnings: Swearing, Mentions of Jason’s Trauma and his Death, Lightning, no beta bitch we die like Jason Todd
(Part 1) (Part 2) (Part 3) (Part 4) (Part 5) (Part 6) (Part 7) (Part 8) (Part 9) (Part 10) (Part 11) (Part 12) (Part 13) (Part 14) (Part 15) (Part 16) (Part 17) (Part 18) (Part 19) (Part 20)
Going on day 5 of knowing each other, Jason and Y/N would spend the day apart. Why? Because they gave each other the chance to have family time, Jason got it by playing around with his baby siblings, playing Assassin.
Fluff Head canon came from frownyalfred on Tumblr, who wrote about Jason playing Assassin with his brothers
He would go running through the halls playing the game that he and Dick knew all too well, it had been the only ‘no contact’ game they were allowed to play at a summer camp Bruce had sent them to all those years ago when they weren’t adults with a bunch of other siblings, and girlfriends. But here they were, explaining the game to their younger siblings while Alfred and Bruce hung out with Barbara, who wished she could play, but was paralyzed.
Everyone missed playing games with her like they used to, but with the video game consoles in the house they did transfer a lot of their gaming to online so they could relive memories with Barbs. It was bittersweet, and everyone remembered when she became paralyzed like it was yesterday, but she always wanted them to play games like they used to, with or without her.
Jason admired his, hopefully, one day older sister for how she treated her disability, like it was a gift, not something that impacted her everyday life and made her have to hang up the cloak of Batgirl.
But running around chasing after Dick, because of course, he got Dick, the universe wanted them to play again, was something he missed so much. They hadn’t had so much of this time, family time, ever since they all became vigilantes, and they never realized how much they missed the thrill of running around with each other.
Jason ended up getting Dick and throwing him out of the game, calling it a ‘selfless act of brotherhood so you can hang out with your girl’ and they both laughed at it. Titus, Damien’s dog, ended up barking up a storm at Jason when he killed Dick, like the big dog was rooting for Dick to win the tournament.
“Down boy! It’s a game!” Jason would whisper-yell at his dog.
“Yeah! Good boy, Titus! Get him!”
“No!” Jason would yell while running throughout the house, Titus on his heels. Passing by Alfred, Bruce and Barbara, where Titus would stop and go lay at Bruce’s feet, but Jason didn’t know that.
Jason would end up coming in just 10 minutes later, with a green slash on his neck. Tim, who had pulled Cass but killed her, Cass, who had pulled Jason. Tim now had two kills in the game and both were to people who could have easily overpowered him.
“Jase! Welcome to the land of the dead,” Dick greeted him.
“God dammnit I’ve already been here,” Jason whined in a joke.
“You and your ‘I died pity me’ jokes,” Barbara said.
“It’s called a coping mechanism, Barbs. And hi dad, Alfred,” Jason said as he waved slightly at both of them, Alfred waved back and Bruce nodded at him.
“You could just to go therapy, Jase,” Barbara said, seeming concerned for someone who she considered her baby brother. She remember when he came into the Manor, she was older than him, sure . But he had nightmares and she and Dick would switch between who would sleep at his door at night, they both had terrible backs until the nightmares calmed down. Jason never knew they did this.
It also happened when he was resurrected, but the nightmares were worse and he’d wake all sweaty and upset. There were too many nights where batkids would be in Jason’s bed with him from 12am to when Alfred would greet them in the morning. The nightmares had slowed down a lot in the past few years with the introduction of his Goddaughter into his life, but they still came by to remind him of what happened.
He didn’t talk about it much. They would always try to edge him on about about really happened, but he was stubborn. It made sense, sure, trauma is trauma. But they all wanted to help him get better. It hurt them all that he was hurting and they didn’t know how to help him get through it.
--------------------------------------------------
Y/N would sit on her bed that morning and finally finished organizing her criminal psychology and regular psychology notes when she came across her printed copy of Dr. Barry Allen’s dissertation she had studied so hard. She found it so weird that she was so close to someone who she looked up to in the field while also being so far in the same breath.
She didn't dote on it for long, she stocked it away with her forensics notes in their place. This, the relationship she had with Jason that intertwined her with so many people, was something she was getting used to by the minute, but it was never something she’d get fully used to as time goes on.
She would put on a JCS - Criminal Psychology video in the background as she worked and tried to make her journal look nicer when Jason texted her,
Good morning. He said.
Good morning :) She said back.
I just lost a game against a 16 year old.
Huh?
My brothers and 2 of my sisters were playing Assassins with me right? Well my 16 year old brother, Tim, he ended up getting the better of me and beat me.
Oh! So you suck!
What!? No, I’m literally so cool what do you mean? He said, it clearly had sarcasm undertones to it, so Y/N wasn’t worried if she offended him with saying he sucked.
Oh yeah? Then why’d you lose?
Well, I killed Dick.
Okay so you didn’t lose, Dick lost.
It started raining a little bit, the sounds of it hitting lightly against her window, and she felt at peace. It was never hard for her to feel peace when she was by herself. She only had one roommate because she liked the silence, to be alone to collect her own thoughts in her head.
Her parents said it was because she probably had underlying mental illness that they never had the money to diagnose. She agreed. But she still didn’t have the chance to do it.
Jason and her deserved so much more than what the world have given them up to this point, so when they found each other it was, in a way, the universe saying ‘I’m sorry, you deserve this’ and with each passing day it made the pain they had both felt in their lives just a little bit more tolerable.
No, I guess Dick sucks at the game more than me.
Where’d you even get the concept for that game?
Dick and I used to play it at a Summer Camp before we got kicked out.
For playing the game?
No, for being unruly children.
You seem like you were a handful back in the day.
I was, I was the worst kid to raise, my dad has a shirt that says ‘Proud parent of a kid who is sometimes an asshole but that’s OK’ and he wears it all the time.
What a dad moment. Don’t tell my father that shirt exists, he’ll get one for my mum and himself to represent my sister and I.
Were you an unruly child as well?
I was a troublemaker. Getting into arguments with my authoritative figures about dress codes, rules, why girls couldn’t carry chairs, literally anything that was unequal, I was at their throats about it.
I mean, as you should. My older sister, Barbara, and my younger sisters, Stephanie and Cassie, they would like that about you.
I feel like in someway I’ve won over every part of your family.
The rain would get more violent as time went on. Strikes and hits of lightning would strike all around the city, hitting those gargoyles on every building, she always figured they were decorative, but A/N explained that their horns were made out of copper so people wouldn’t get struck by lightning. Bruce Wayne actually made that a thing, A/N said.
Y/N got a message from the dance competition that she signed up to, turns out, California was hit with a hurricane and most people evacuated. No one was allowed in or out. She guessed weather was being funky everywhere. It sucked, but she already was wishing she could spend time at home instead of out in the world.
A feeling she hated.
She would spend the rest of the day on and off the phone with Jason while it stormed. She would go to bed early that night.
-------------------------------------------------
Jason slipped on his vigilante uniform, the Red Hood was going to be on patrol over this night, stormy or not, it was his duty and he knew that. Did he want to go? Yes. He was killing for some action and he was going with Dick. They would probably have some ‘Bro Time’ which Jason wanted.
Even if it was silence, having Dick nearby him meant enough and gave him peace of mind.
He grabbed his guns and loaded them while packing a few extra magazines in his belt, when Dick placed a hand on his shoulder, “You have to be careful tonight, Jase,” Dick said as he gulped down tears, “Just come back to me alive if you break off from me, okay?”
“Alive but bruised,” Jason joked.
“I’m serious. I can’t lose you again and tonight is going to be massively dangerous.”
“You won’t.”
#jason todd#jason todd x reader#jason todd x fem!reader#jason todd x y/n#jason todd x you#jason todd fluff#red hood#red hood x reader#red hood x fem!reader#red hood x y/n#red hood x you#red hood fluff#dick grayson#nightwing#batfam#batfamily#batbros#barbara gordon#stephanie brown#cassandra cain#cassandra wayne#tim drake#damien wayne#alfred pennyworth#bruce wayne#batman#dcu#dceu#dc
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Victor’s - Moody Date
Hello! This is my entry for @little-butterfly-writes ‘s Contest . It’s my first time writing and I really enjoyed the process of it, enjoy reading this date!
Fandom: MLQC - Victor Li x Duckie (Mc)
Genre : jealousy jealousy jealousy , comfort , Filled with romance ( fluff)
Word count : 3,309
As If its not obvious enough to everybody.
I have feelings towards my boss, victor Li. I did fall in love with a person that I know i can’t reach even if i had him in my wildest dreams. I all i am wishing for is that no one know about these hidden feelings hoping that i will be able to maintain the decision i took and forget about him, But unfortunately things goes unplanned after I experienced certain feeling. jealousy .
If Kiki , Anna , the rest of my friends and colleagues found out about my secret feelings including the letters I wrote about victor secretly , I would get in big trouble , what letters you may ask? It’s simple. Basically, when i feel like I can’t control the love i feel towards him . I write down all my feelings in a letter and hide it somewhere , i got this idea from a movie i watched last year. At first , I haven’t thought not in a million years that I would use this idea and especially writing my unwanted feelings towards my CEO ,Aka victor li .
He was very strict and seemed to be very rude, i used to hate on him . He isn’t my type in men plus we’re completely different. Its not a big surprise since he is the CEO of an worldwide successful company ,LFG.
Just to clarify our differences. He made his company from the beginning meanwhile me, A young lady who inherited a show from her father once she Graduated from college. I didn’t even have an experience in life or the business field.
Everything were so difficult to me and it felt like an endless maze , the fact that I have him as my investor was like a miracle . Not only that but he really take good care of me . He is older in age , with a mature mindset . I am just young reckless, hesitant and inexperienced girl who just got a big position and so naive comparing to what she is responsible for .
I thought alot about giving up but victor make me change my mind and Instead of giving up he gave me the motivation to challenge him , i was in the mood to show him and prove to him that i can take the harsh responsibilities like an adult And be someone who is trust worthy enough to have his five hundred million investment in my show .
With time, i fall in love with him. And with everyday goes by it only grows bigger and bigger than the day before. The more i try to hide my feelings. The more it becomes obvious . When he confessed his feelings to me that day in the rooftop. I was beyond happy. I couldn’t sleep that day. But I quickly get back to the harsh reality, and remembered the huge gap between us, Victor deserve someone near to his position. Not me, comparing to him i am just a crybaby who rant about submitting reports and dealing with the deadlines every week .
But one day, I don’t know what’s goes inside my brain . I couldn’t even control my own body. When i found out that Victor would go to the awards banquet with another woman, I stopped thinking and I couldn’t care less about how weird i am behaving with my colleagues . In that night , i saw victor leaving the fancy banquet hall with another woman.
She looks way more mature and wiser than me. To put it in simple words she has everything i lack, and to my unfortunate luck. She does everything way better than me . And tonight , I witnessed My heart sinking in the ground. Its like i just got drenched in icy cold water in this snowy weather . I drank Alot . Wine, whiskey and even brandy . I couldn’t even recognize the bitterness in them . I just drink to be numb and ease my heart.
When the banquet came to an end ..
“ you two can head home first, its late . The weather is pretty today so i just want to walk and be alone for some time “ I spoke with a shaky voice tone, then left after grabbing my hand bag from the table.
“ whats wrong with our boss? She’s has been acting weird these few days especially today” Kiki spoke to anna.
Anna were worried as well , she just shrugs in confusion replying to kikis question.
“ i have never seen her like that before!” Anna added
“ it’s dangerous to let her be alone !, we can’t just leave her there! “ kiki said
“ she wanted time to get her self together, I think its very inappropriate for us to interrupt her wishes . * she smiled * Don’t worry minor would keep his eyes on her from afar “ Anna said while patting Kiki s shoulder gently to comfort her .
After leaving them. i rushed to the back beautiful garden to try and process everything happened tonight , the scenery were amazing but I couldn’t focus and appreciate it , I started regretting what i did, I shouldn’t push him away acting dumb and slow from the beginning. I love him more than anything, I admit i am very jealous and I don’t know how to deal with it because its my first time feeling this way about someone. I have never wanted someone as much I do for Victor.
These feelings were so exhausting to bear alone ,I was so hopeless that i even shared my story anonymously in tumbler with people but everyone advised me to stay away and forget about him for endless reasons. Yeah, they were right. But..
I also can’t… I CANT STOP LOVING HIM AND GIVE UP ON THIS . people wont have mercy on us and our relationship since we are a boss and worker in love but now seeing this . Realizing I might lose him forever. I don’t care, seeing him taking care of a random woman and accompanying her in the banquet really make me rethink about everything and even that thoughtful decision i took and was so confident about . I decided to head to the parking section for cars to follow them. I started running like crazy .
“GOD PLEASE PLEASE LET ME MAKE IT , PLEASE DONT LET THEM LEAVE TOGETHER ! . PLEASE.. I CANT LOSE HIM THIS TIME” i said begging .
I can lose anything and everything, but not him. I can’t lose Victor!
Because no one loved me like he did And I can’t imagine falling in love again with a different man.
Suddenly my foot slipped and i fall.
The expensive pair of high heel that i brought got ruined too. One of them broke But I couldn’t stop here! Im still in the middle of the way . My legs started be numb and it hurt a little because these shoes were new too , But I didn’t care, I can’t lose the path that can lead me to them! I still have to find Victor!
When i reached to the cars parking space , I couldn’t find them…
My nose suddenly started to burn and my eyes started sweating?, i decided to go back inside the banquet and sit . I couldn’t find chair there so I went to sit the corner on the stairs like a lost child. I started to cry heartily like a baby who lost her parents . But for me comparing to the baby I lost everything, I lost Victor..
My body is shaking and I couldn’t stop the thoughts in my mind. My mind went wild and started to even imagining how they would look together in the church . Kissing each other passionately after announcing them as a husband and wife. My heart suddenly started to beat so fast and I began to struggle breathing , while sobbing quietly.
Suddenly i felt a warm coat landed on my head, shoulders and has familiar manly scent ..
my face were swallowed, especially my eyes and nose. I was slow to react and realizing that this coat belongs to him…. And only him. Victor..
I felt strange feeling , i was happy and relieved that i was able to meet him again.. and that happiness give me strange feelings in my tummy . I believe that’s what they call “butterflies in the stomach” , I felt really warm. I don’t think it’s because of that coat. But him. Who give them his scent and body temperature
“ * sigh helplessly at the view* Dummy.. what are you doing here in this condition ? Don’t you know it’s dangerous area, especially in this hour? What if someone came for you ? Or even decided to kidnap you ,taking you away ? What are going to do? I searched everywhere for you and I couldn’t find you its like you weren’t in this earth from the beginning , WHERE THE HECK YOU WERE??? ………. But most importantly are you okay? Did something happen?……… Duckie , are you crying? “
my eyes couldn’t stop the tears from coming out when he were talking in such an sharp voice, he was really worried so he was furious to see me in such a state alone , but when he noticed that i was crying so hard, sniffing and wiping my eyes his voice turned so soft and calm
he grabbed my hands and hold them between his hands to warm them up
I refused to talk or face him because i wasn’t looking at my best right now, he just kneeled down to my level like prince charming and looked at me, he noticed how swallowed and red my face are.. he reached with his hands to hold my cheeks while massaging my under eyes
“ do they hurt A lot? “ he said quietly ,
I nodded while looking in the ground, my eyes fell upon his shoes trying to avoid his glare.
“If you don’t want to tell me, that’s fine too. Lets go home first … its getting late” he said..
I nodded because i was too tired to reply using sentences . I stand and remembered my broken heels and slightly injured foot.
Before I could explain, Victor carried me bridal style , I didn’t needed to explain anything. I felt warm , safe and happy, that I forget that I’m being held between his arms . I gave up to the warm sensation and fall asleep.
Victor put me in his car gently , wrapping my body with his big coat then went to grab hot tea and body warmers from the super market near by.
i took some time to wake up, when i wake up i was still in his car , the car was really warm. I didn’t find Victor on the driver seat so i looked outside.
i saw him tapping on his tablet working and answering calls . I also noticed that we’re near the sea and its 12am . I took my time appreciating the view , then i knocked at the window. Victor saw me and returned to the car.
“ you wake up, how do you feel now ? “ he asked with a soft voice
“ i am better now , sorry for making a scene back there. I was really upset about something so i was drunk , angry and upset thats why I decided to be alone , sorry i worried you and caused you trouble “i said while looking into his eyes.
“ dummy… And why did you drink? “ he said angrily ..
“ please don’t be mad i was just so upset, can’t you just allow me to drink only this time?” I said
“ yes, i am angry at you… but also glad to see you safe and better. After all , i can’t ask for more from dummy like you” victor said then poked the tip of my nose lightly with his fingers , after that he patted my head gently, smiling at me .
“ its late, let’s head home” he said
After few minutes driving i realized that we are in different path and its unfamiliar to me.
“ where are we going “ i asked hesitantly ..
“ to My home” he said
“ to your home??”
“Well, only if your apartment was nearby like my home. Its late already, just sleep tonight in my house” he said calmly
I nodded in agreement.
After few minutes we arrived.
Victor opened the door for me , i entered inside . His home was big but also felt so warm and cozy . Victor turned to face me “ go and take a hot shower, then dry your hair. Don’t get cold. I asked them to prepare you clothes. If you need anything ask me “ he said
i went to the room. It was big as expected and has a fancy bathtub. After i finished showering and preparing for bed. When i was about to head to sleep, I suddenly heard knocks on my door .
“Get in “ i said
The door was opened and it was victor, he was wearing his classic black pjs
“ as expected, you didn’t even dry your hair yet you headed to sleep anyways“ he said..
“What if you get cold?” He added
He went to grab a hairdryer from the drawer . Then turned to face me
“ come here” he said
I understand what he want so i sit and give him my back. He started to dry my hair, touching my hair so gently. After he finished drying my hair he took a hair tie and started to tie my hair.
“ there’s something I wanted to say to you” he said
“ hmm? “ I replied
“ i will get to the point “ he said
“ I might not know what exactly that got you so bothered like that , but you must know that there are a lot of circumstances in the world that are out of our control. The causes and reasons behind every circumstance is complicated. In a world where it’s impossible to know everything, it’s normal that we experience things we cannot understand and find difficult to accept. Even so, we have to accept it. There are many ways to accept it. Crying is also one of them. However, only for one night. ( he took my hand that was planning on reaching my face)…. And don’t rub your eyes, it will be better if you leave it and take a good sleep “ he added .
After leaving, he leaned to kiss my head .
“ good night “ he said
“ wait! “ i said
His eyes locked into mine , waiting for me to say what I want to say.
“ why did you went to the banquet, with her? “ i couldn’t stop my curiosity so i asked him .
He chuckled quietly then pinned my chin forcing me to look at him..
“ you jealous? “ he said
A bold idea came up to me ,
“Yes..i am! “ I didn’t wasted time and answered his question seriously.
He was frozen in his place , stopped chuckling and has a surprised face expression .
I gathered all my courage to say the three most difficult words ..
“ i love you victor! “ i said , while looking into his face..
then reached to his face and give him a quick peck on his lips ..
“ don’t make me feel this way again, I hate it !“ i said and then went for another kiss . But He didn’t kiss me back , still surprised by my bold move.
“ when i saw how you looked to her when she was talking to you . You were smiling while and looking into her eyes , I wondered if you ever started to lose your feelings towards me , i was really scared of losing you.. i even started to imagine how you would look in your groom suit .. standing beside her in front of everyone… i was so scared “ my voice cracked at the end.. i felt the tears forming in my eyes
“ I really… really don’t want to lose you . I did my research about her, She won countless times and even has the f-“ my speech were cut off with his hot kiss .
He closed his eyes and rested his one hand on the back of my head and the other on my neck.
He pulled his lips away from mine when he noticed how i was struggling to breathe.
“ … you talk too much” he said while maintaining his sharp eyes on me.
“Since when you had these thoughts on that little brain of yours? Instead of using it on useless things, apply this effort and worry about your unfinished weekly report instead. You thought I haven’t noticed how distracted you were ?“ Victor said.
“ relax dummy , Lili is just an older sister to me. She asked if i can company her since her husband on business trip outside china. Lili is busy in work but also dealing with three kids at the same time. I was just helping her manage the deal she had with SJ company , you don’t have to worry that little head of yours on such matters “ victor added.
“ Duckie, i searched for you, and luckily after 10017 years i was able to meet you again. The little head of yours could never imagine how bad I wanted to see that silly smile of yours again. I waited for so long , and you better make it up to me. In other words , Be mine” victor said , while holding my left cheek and went for another breathless kiss ..
“ i —-love —-you——-, Dummy “ he said between his kisses ..
“ don’t close your eyes, look at me when iam talking to you. You know that i love when you’re bold with me, right?” he said smiling at me then slightly biting my lower lip ..
“I was so happy when i met you, in the end of the banquet . I thought you went with her“ i said while having a big silly smile on my face
“ There is only one thing you should be happy about……. It has always been you and only you” he said while looking at my eyes and holding my hot blushing cheeks in his big hand .
After making out sessions for straight two hours , he lay me down on the bed pulling the quilt over my body.
“ go to sleep, and NEVER think about theses useless matters . if you want to ask me something Just ask me directly ... Goodnight dummy” he said ..
“Good night” i replied softly
He smiled then give me a final forehead kiss and went outside the room after dimming the lights ..
In the next day i went to LFG to submit my weekly report , suddenly i received a call from Kiki
“ boss, i made a surprise for you!! you are going to thank me for it . Don’t overthink about it, and just enjoy the surprise” she said while giggling in mischievous manner.
She closed the call, i was nervous and curious at the same time but I didn’t pay much attention on that because I didn’t have much time left, i have weekly report to submit! . I hurried to victors office and luckily I arrived on time but I found my secret love letters has been opened on victors office already and he had one of them on his hand , taking his time reading it while drinking his coffee ..
he noticed me standing near the door , surprised and embarrassed . Victor smirked in anticipation
“ You have a lot of explainings to do , Producer Duckie “ he said while giving me smirky face
what a Great start to my day.
The End
Thank you for reading, see you next time!
#恋与制作人#love and producer#evol x love#mlqc#mlqc li zeyan#mlqc victor#love victor#victor x reader#mlqc fanart#mlqc fanfic#mlqc date#mr love queen's choice#victor#little butterfly writes contest#little butterfly writes contest submission
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Penelope Garcia x (trans ! ftm) Luke Alvez
aka, how they got together (in Luke’s point of view)
warning: gender dysphoria, (brief mention of) transphobia
- - -
He cuts his hair for the first time with kitchen scissors when he’s eleven.
| | |
There’s something wrong with him, he concludes weeks before when his mother sat him down and told him about puberty, about the changes his body would go through.
Only—he didn’t want to go through these changes.
A nauseous feeling settled in the pit of his stomach when he realized that the thought of puberty, of the things his body would soon go through, unsettled him and, not only that, but...it scared him.
Scared him like when his father shouted at the top of his lungs at his mother when they argued.
Scared him like the time he snuck one of his cousin’s toy cars to his own house to play with it in the secret of his room.
Scared him like the time that he asked for a lightsaber for Christmas only to get his mother’s intimidating stare in response.
He didn’t have a word for his feelings beside scared, didn’t have a word for the reasoning behind his disgust for his body.
That was until...him, Matthew—his new next door neighbor with his shaggy brown hair and built form.
His parents wrote off his admiration for the new neighbor as a crush, teasing him and prodding him every time his wide, awe-filled eyes trailed after Matthew.
It wasn’t long before he realized that he didn’t have a crush on Matthew...no—he wanted to be like Matthew.
He wanted short hair and a built form and a confident swagger.
He wanted to wear khaki pants and button down shirts, along with black dress shoes and a chain around his belt loops.
He wanted a deep voice and scruffy facial hair.
He wanted to be a boy.
| | |
His fingers ran carefully through his long hair, his other hand gripping the scissors he had sneaked out of the kitchen.
It’s 12am in the morning and he’s alone in the bathroom, staring in the mirror hopelessly at the person inside.
Her...Him
Tears ran down his face as he carefully bought the scissors up to his hair, his eyes tightening closed once a strand of hair is placed inside.
Snip.
The cut piece of hair falls on his shoulder and he resists the urge to tremble, eyes opening as he gathered more hair between the blades.
Snip...snip...snip...
Slowly, his hair creates its own pile on the cold bathroom tile under his feet.
At the end, his hair is short and terribly uneven, but, for once, his head feels light.
Tears gather in his eyes as he places down the scissors, his hands gripping both sides of the sink as he stared at his reflection.
“Luke,” he whispers softly, the name he always wished he had when he learned that he would have been named that if born a boy, “my name is Luke.”
Luke allows a single tear to run down his face before he leaves the bathroom to go back to bed.
He climbs in and ignores the pink walls and dolls scattered around the room, and allows the silence of a sleeping house to lure him to sleep.
(He can’t find it in himself to regret his choice when met with his mother’s intimidating stare and his father’s loud, angry shouting at the sight of him the next day.
He’s never felt more free.)
| | |
He gets his first binder at the age of fourteen, a gift from his older sister for his birthday.
She practically has to pry him away from the mirror when he first tries it on and can only proceed to stand there, running a lightly trembling hand over his newly flattened chest.
She’s the one that reminds him to take breaks from wearing it, the words “little brother” leaving her mouth affectionately and part scolding when she does so and he almost cries.
He doesn’t think he has any tears to waste anymore after crying over his father’s refusal to respect his identity and his mother’s judging state that would follow him, silently disapproving of every choice he makes.
.
.
.
He starts Testosterone when he’s seventeen after years of therapy.
The first shot hurts but he doesn’t flinch.
He’s been waiting for this moment his entire life, even if he didn’t know it at one point.
Besides, before long he’s used to the shots and is instead left to beam in delight as he notices the changes his body goes through due to it.
His voice deepens, his body hair thickens, and he even begins to gain facial hair.
He’s happy, he realizes one day as he gets ready for the day, toothbrush stuck in mouth as he pauses in front of the bathroom mirror.
He’s so happy.
.
.
.
By the time he joins the BAU, he’s older and a bit wiser.
His name is legally changed to Luke and his gender is accompanied by a little M on his legal paperwork.
For all intents and purposes, he passes with his (permanent) flat chest from top surgery years before and the years he has been on testosterone.
He’s happier.
He smiles and beams and jokes around.
His sister jokes that he’s a lady killer, charming and flirting; yet, Luke doesn’t really allow himself to get close to anyone romantically.
At the end of the night, he goes home to Roxy and that’s enough for him...until he meets her.
| | |
Penelope Garcia.
Technical analyst for the BAU.
Self-proclaimed nerd.
A woman who sassily comments to Luke upon the second time meeting him that she has an amazing boyfriend and Luke ignores the pain in his chest at the thought of the beautiful woman in front of him being taken as he instead smiles, doing what he does best next—continues to be charming (as his sister would say) and attempts to make a conversation only to get shut down.
He tries to pretend that he doesn’t care about her cold and distant attitude.
He pretends that it doesn’t hurt with how she treats him differently than everyone else, but not in the way he wants.
He smiles despite how much Garcia’s actions hurt and he ignores the fact that a tiny voice in the back of his head nags that she knows, that she’s treating him like this because he’s trans.
It’s nothing personal, he reminds himself, recognizing a hurt individual when seeing one, but hell if he doesn’t feel like it is.
...
“Come on, newbie,” Garcia drawled as she sipped slowly on her drink, eyebrow raised playfully as she teased him, “what’s your secret? We all have one.”
Luke laughed, taking a small sip from his beer before answering, wide smile spreading to his face as he teased back, “wouldn’t be a secret then, would it?”
It was his first time having a drink with the team and his mood brightened when they all laughed at his response to Garcia’s teasing.
Luke relaxed, untensing his shoulders at the teasing, not realizing how tense he was until then.
At the thought, his eyes shot to Garcia as Rossi dived into a story, his eyes meeting hers for a split second before looking away quickly.
He turned towards Rossi, but watched Garcia out of the corner of his eye.
Did she say that on purpose because she noticed how tense he was?
He shook his head as soon as the thought passed through his mind.
There was no way.
This was Penelope Garcia and to her, Luke is just an annoying coworker and not a friend.
| | |
“Do you hate me?” He whispers one day in Garcia’s vicinity, so quiet that he’s sure that she doesn’t hear him.
They’re alone in her lair, and once again he allows her coldness to get to him despite vowing to himself not too.
Her head shoots up, her eyes meeting his.
He can’t recognize the look in her eyes.
He stands straight, hands stuffed in his pocket.
“I don’t hate you,” she admits at last, blinking rapidly and her face looking almost...offended?
Luke shook his head.
“Yeah, I figured, but you know,” he flashed her a small grin and gave a little shrug of his shoulders, his body relaxing at how genuine she looked to be.
Her eyes bored into his for a few more seconds before she hastily looked away and to her monitor.
“I don’t hate you Alvez...far from it,” she admits at last, quietly.
Luke practically beams.
Garcia groaned playfully, “stop smirking, Newbie.”
Luke laughed, dodging her slapping hand as he practically rushed out of the room.
Outside the door after shutting it behind him, he pauses, chest heaving and smiling growing wider.
She didn’t hate him.
Thank god.
...
Garcia...Penelope...is leaving.
She’s leaving.
Leaving the BAU, the team, everyone...including him.
There’s always a silver lining though.
This silver lining came in the form of Emily Prentiss, casually reminding him that Garcia would never date a coworker.
His heart seems to pause when he realizes that they’re no longer coworkers.
They’re no longer coworkers.
He might have a chance.
He steeled himself, standing up straight and remembering everything he has ever been through.
His childhood.
His family.
His life.
He catches Garcia’s eyes from across the yard and he smiles.
Now or never.
...
He asks her out for dinner, and she says yes.
She says yes.
He goes home excited, whooping out loud once in the safety of his apartment, fist pumping in the air.
Roxy jumps excitedly at his enthusiasm and the sight of him, and he laughs.
“Guess what girl? Dad has a date.”
He’s afraid that his face will soon hurt with how much he’s grinning but he doesn’t care.
He has a date...with Penelope Garcia.
...
He wears his best button down shirt paired with dress pants, and carefully he loops his belt through and places on his tennis shoes.
Nice, but casual.
Before he leaves his apartment to pick her up, he wipes his sweaty hands on his pant’s legs.
He’s ready.
...
Penelope Garcia is a vision.
She’s always a vision, Luke concludes, but even more so today now that he’s seeing her through the view of a date rather than a coworker or friend.
Luke nervously smiles, hands pushing the flowers in his hand towards her.
“For you.”
“Why thank you kind sir,” Penelope grins, gently taking them and invites him inside.
He watches as she places the flowers in a vase and he chooses then to speak, “you look beautiful” and she did.
“You don’t look so bad yourself, Newbie,” she shot back, “so where are we going?”
“It’s a surprise.”
...
The air outside the restaurant is cold.
“So, that was pretty amazing,” Luke teased as him and Penelope slowly walked to his car and he opened the door for her.
Penelope grinned, “it wasn’t bad.”
Luke laughed, “bad? glad to know that me spilling water on my shirt amuses you.”
“I mean, it did,” Penelope giggled, avoiding Luke’s playful glare.
“Woah, nice to know my humiliation amuses you, chica,” Luke moaned dramatically as he cranked up the engine, smiling widening when Penelope’s laugh grew in volume.
Without even thinking, his right hand shot out to lay on top of Penelope’s own on the armrest, causing her to freeze, laughs abruptly stopping.
“I had a really great time tonight,” Luke admitted softly, grinning.
Penelope paused before admitting just as softly, “me too.”
Luke slowly leaned across the middle console and Penelope did the same, hearts thudding as they slowly grew closer and closer before pausing, faces centimeters away.
“May I?” Luke asked.
“Yeah,” Penelope breathed out.
“Yeah?” Luke asked, smiling.
Penelope nodded her head, “yeah” before her lips crashed again his, all other thoughts but those of Penelope Garcia leaving his head.
...
“I need to tell you something,” Luke admitted after their third date, this one being in Penelope’s apartment and involving a movie and popcorn.
Penelope turned her body towards his, giving him her full attention.
He shifted nervously.
“I’m—” he trails off, brows furrowing as he tries to figure out how to word everything correctly.
Penelope’s hands took hold of his, squeezing them softly and Luke shakingly exhaled.
“I’m trans, Penelope,” he admits quietly, stomach dropping and his breath catching in his throat as he awaits her answer.
Penelope’s brows furrowed, “as in a transwoman or a transman.”
“Transman,” he admits, “that’s why I don’t really talk to my family beside my sister and her husband and kids. My parents didn’t take it too well.”
Penelope’s hands tightened around his.
“Thank you for trusting me enough to tell me,” Penelope told him at last, grinning softly.
Luke grinned back hestitantly, “you’re okay with it?”
Penelope sighed, mock offense due to him asking her this written across her face, “I love you, Luke Alvez, no matter your identity or pronouns or anything else...even if your ego is too big.” Her voice playful as she eased his concerns.
“Good,” Luke joked back, relief settling in his chest, “because I’m bisexual too...wait,” he blinked in shock, mouth falling open a little as he registered what she said, “you love me?”
Penelope blushed.
“I love you too, Penelope Garcia,” a wide smile splitting his face.
Penelope sighed, “you better, Newbie. I’m a catch.”
“Well, so am I.”
He dodged her playful slap and sprinted across the room, laughter from both of them filling the air as she chased after him.
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Summary of my first term of my Ph.D. at Stanford during a global pandemic and an extremely controversial election year (Anthropology, yr. 1, she/they, 25y/o) with some toggl data analysis
Well this year was a doozy if I don’t say so myself. But we survived it, and its okay if that’s all you were able to do this year because that’s enough.
As an offical 18th grader, I feel like I can speak pretty well to the toxicity of the academic environment. There is always a pressure to be working all of the time, people compete with each other with how few hours of sleep they got, every conversation with fellow students is just listing off all of the different assignemnts you have to do by the end of the week. On top of all of this, this is 2020. So, I decided that this year I’m going to give myself some mental slack.
I decided that this is the year that I’m not going to try to impress anyone. I’m just going to survive and do what I have to do to move onto the next term. I think I did a pretty good job at that for the first term, so I’ll share a bit about what I observed in myself and those in my cohort.
Coming into term one having to choose classes, many of my peers were packing their schedules full of 5 Unit seminars. For those who don’t know, theoretically, a 5 Unit course is supposed to take about 5-6 hours of work outside of class hours. For Stanford Anthropology, most PhD students take as close as they can to 18 credits, and anything over that you have to pay extra for the courses. Taking more courses doesn’t really put you any further ahead in terms of completing your degree, and you’re expected to complete about 45 Units each year for the first two years of the program.
I decided to take 2 seminars (typical), a language course, and a couple filler credits that we are given the option to use if we need 1-3 units to hit 18 total. I, fortunately, tracked every hour spent outside of the classroom working on each course using toggl (i highly reccomend):
In a typical week, I spent about 5-6 hours/week outside of class on my Anthro seminars, and about 6-7 hours on Japanese. Japanese was a “for-fun” class so I would usually study more of that when I didn’t feel like reading dense archaeological theory.
Toggl was a really cool way to see where I was spending too much, or not enough, time on my classwork. If it was taking me more than 1.5 hours to get through a single article, I knew I was probably spending too much time on it and should move on to the next thing. My goal for the term was to stay true to the 5 Unit idea of 5-6 hours, and not over-work myself.
Toggl was also useful in tracking my mental health throughout the term, as it is very obvious to see when I just was not physically capable of ingesting 400 pages of reading. For example, election week:
Election week was really hard for me, and everyone else in the world honestly. I had various family things I was dealing with, typical existential dread, plus it was week 8-ish of the term when everything was already on fire in terms of workload. For one of my seminars (purple), we had to read a book for the following week which I was able to do the sundar after election day. However, for the days leading up to and surrounding the 4th, the only thing I could mentally handle was mindless Japanese vocab studying. One of my seminars really sufferend this week, and I straight up just didnt show up to the smaller Anth 310G class because I had only read the title of the pdf. Fortunately, I emailed my professor of my Theory class and was like “yo dude I cannot” and he replied that he understood and wouldnt call on me during that day of class.
I didn’t do a whole lot of journalling at all this term, but for this week I just wrote “pain” on most days and then YAY BIDEN at the end of it.
Weekly Schedule
Above is what a typical week looked like, some were a lot lot lot more dense, others not so much, but this was pretty average. Not all things on the calendar are work related, some are extra lectures from visiting professors that sounded interesting, or “Free Boba & Snacks Pick Up” put on by my residence. Monday, Wednesday, and Sunday were my big work days last term, where I didn’t have a whole lot of classes so I would do most of my reading then. On Tues and Thurs I had one 3-hour seminar, and M-F I had a 50 min Japanese class.
I woke up every day around 7am-ish, made a green tea, and sat at the computer to work, filter through emails, etc. On particularily open days I would go grocery shopping, go for bike rides/walks around campus, go buy food/boba.
On class-heavy days, I wouldn’t leave my computer for 8-12 hours, which is extremely ridiculous but that’s the new norm in school in 2020. This kind of stunk because all of the socializing was also on the computer, so even if I wasn’t working I was doing screen related things.
EVERY day I stopped working at 6pm. Rarely did I do readings past 6pm unless I was really slacking somewhere. From 6pm onwards I would do things like play Among Us or League of Legends with my discord friends, eat, watch movies with my partner, etc. And then most nights I would try to be in bed by 12am at the latest.
Social Life
Despite the online nature of things this term, I was suprisingly able to meet a lot of great people on campus. We were all being tested at least once a week, which made in person gatherings with 1-4 people a little less scary, especially when half of the people lived together in one household.
In the first week of school, some of the grad programs put on a “speed friending” zoom event, where I was able to connect with two people really well. We ended up doing a “slow-friending” zoom event afterwards and then created a FB group chat and added all of the people we had met into it. The group ended up being about 15 people, and we would message the group for park hangouts, going to get food, or going on walks on campus. We also had a huge get together in a park for Mid-Autumn Festival, where we sat in a socially distanced circle, chatted, and ate mooncakes.
Most of my socializing came from my online friends, and amongus was a huge savior to my mental health this term wher emy group would play literally every night. I also made a really good friend off of Bumble BFF this term, who I’ve hung out with a good amount for plant shopping and board games.
I’m very fortunate to be in a situation where I can get tested for COVID on a days notice, and very grateful that I could use that to stay a little sane.
My Biggest Accomplishment this term, was not school related. but instead I hit my 365 DAY STREAK on duolingo. This was celebrated with cake. This streak has lived through literal hell and for that I am very proud.
Overall reflection:
This term was super rough, there were a lot of days where I just napped through it and a lot of days where I couldn’t bring myself to do any work. However, I think the courseload that I took was very manageable and I’m going to continue to go light on myself in that regard.
I really liked the boundaries that I set for myself this term, not working after 6pm and making time to do some fun things in the midst of chaos. I never felt like I was too far behind on work, or that I wasn’t doing enough, because I had a literal reminder in front of me that I had already put x amount of hours into something with toggl.
Sometimes in class I would feel like I didn’t know how to productively contribute to conversation, but I think thats a skill that will get better over time and not being so great at it should especially be expected in the first term of a program.
Socially I met a lot of wonderful people who also made me feel more comfortable will myself. I started using She/They pronouns which feel really comforting to me. I made a lot of little origami cranes every time I was feeling sad. I drank a lot of boba. Watched a lot of She Ra. Played a lot of games. It all ended up being okay despite the weight of everything around me.
I’m proud of all of you for making it through this year, I know it was really difficult for a lot of people in more ways than it was for me, but we’re still here! Sometimes all you can do it make it to the next day and thats such a big accomplishment on its own.
Please feel free to reach out with any questions about time-management, toggl, phd stuff in general, archaeology, etc! Always happy to help out. :’)
Thanks for reading!
Lyss
#blog#blogging#studyblr#archaeology#archaeologist#anthropology#anthropologist#stanford#stanforduniversity#stanfordphd#phd#phdapplications#education#gradschool#grad student#digital archaeology#cambodian archaeology#imposter syndrome#day in the life#gradblr#get to know me
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"i was wondering if you could ship me with one of the dps boys? i guess here’s some things about me. describing my personality is difficult because i tend to deceive the person that i want to be and less if the person i actually am, so hopefully i get this right. i am 5’9 with dark brown hair reaching my middle back. i have blue eyes and dark eyelashes. i find my comfort and safety in music and film. if i’m feeling bad, scared, lonely, basically anything, i listen to music or watch my comfort movies. my playlist are named after very specific emotions and feelings. i like music and movies that have a light brown feeling (if that makes sense). i rarely cry, but if i do, it’s usually because of a movie or book. my favorite things are foggy mornings, evening thunderstorms, books, trees, love, late night conversations, and drives in the dark. my personality is somewhat contradictory, because i’m not very insecure and don’t really care what people think of me, but i’m very introverted. sometimes, i feel like i’m stuck and like i’m doing what i’m supposed to be. i feel as if i conquered the world, i still wouldn’t be satisfied. i have a stupid fear of deep water, but my biggest fear is loss. whether it’s loss of a loved one, loss of my identity, i fear loss in general. my aesthetic is very much light academia and naturalist. my style of dress is soft and comfortable. i wear a lot of jeans and flannel, and i have wayyyy too many hoodies. when i do dress up, i rarely wear dresses, usually just nice jeans and a simplistic blouse. i like to wear rings and i have a necklace that i always wear. my family says that i act the most like Nuwanda around family and friends, but my first impression is more like Todd. my favorite kind of weather is cloudy and like 60°F, light rain and a gentle breeze. my favorite season, naturally, is autumn. my favorite foods are cheeseburgers, pizza, salads, sushi, and sesame chicken. i love drinking tea and lemon water. i used to struggle a lot with my mental health, but recently, i’ve been very happy and my mental health has been great (which i’m very proud of). i enjoy being by myself, but don’t like staying at home. i love love. i miss the time before all the technology. back when people hand wrote letters and sent them by mail. before all the tv/movie streaming and dependency of phones and computers. in college, i plan on studying criminology, criminal investigation, and forensic science. i want to succeed in school, but hate doing school work. my favorite thing about myself is that i am a daydreamer. thank you so so much :)"
- @emmakstory
here is your ship (: i hope you like it, and my apologies about how long it took !! i love how descriptive you are of yourself and I relate to a lot you said. have a lovely day !! <3
ship:
shipping you with meeks !! (:
hcs:
there is no doubt in my mind that you guys would meet at a movie theater during one of their classic showings on a friday night. you’d be there to get out of the house and to escape to a time of simplicity (between the movie being shown from the last century and the aesthetics of the old movie theater (: ). meeks would be there with the poets and he’d be coming out of the theater to use the restroom when you were going in to pick your seat; you guys would likely bump into each other and he’d apologize profusely for it, feeling so, so bad that he spilled your popcorn (“please, let me buy you a new bag”)
somehow, the following friday, meeks was at the movies again, but this time he was by himself seeing if you’d be there, too.
after the movie, he’d ask if you wanted to grab something to eat. you’d agree but on one condition (“i’ll let you take me out for a cheeseburger and milkshake”)
before you guys knew it, it was 12am and you were still sitting at the counter of the diner, munching on cold fries and sipping the remnants of melted milkshakes
when meeks had to leave he’d ask if he’d see you at the movies again next friday, to which you told him he would
because of welton’s stupid rules/curfews, meeks wouldn’t have a lot of extra time, but he would wake up extra early, especially on overcast mornings to come take a walk with you around your neighborhood before school (‘:
he’d adore your fascination with true crime documentaries and he’d buy you books about forensics and blood spatters
even when you guys had been dating for a while, you’d still meet at the movies every friday (:
on one particular friday during the summer, the moisture would mix just right with the heat in the air and create the most magnificent thunderstorm, causing you and meeks to run under the shelter of a bus stop, where your shirt and jeans would be soaked completely through. he’d take you back to his house and give you his welton sweatshirt to change into (which you wouldn’t give back [bc it was just so comfy], but he didn’t mind)
after you got your license, you’d often show up to welton unannounced and convince meeks to come on a drive with you. he’d sort through all of your cds, asking what all the titles of the playlists meant. he’d pause on one labeled “s.m.” that you had made a few days after the night in the thunderstorm. (“what’s this one ?” and it’s not that you were embarrassed, you just wanted to keep that explanation to yourself, at least for a little longer, so you’d tell him that it was “sad music.” he’d know it was too simple of a title to be true, but he also thought it was so cute that he was worthy of his very own playlist)
getting meeks out of his comfort zone would be so fun; he’s adventurous and likes to branch out, so he’d be very excited about having sushi for the first time (he’d become addicted and ask to have it very often)
he’d like to help you when the procrastination of homework was just killing you, bribing you saying, “if you finish your homework, we can go up on the roof and listen to the hi-fi”
going to the beach with the poets, refusing to get in the water, and getting really mad/anxious when pitts and charlie threw you in. you’d ignore everyone for a while sitting under the shade of the umbrella until meeks came to talk to you, where you’d explain that the ocean scared you and didn’t appreciate the “prank” that pitts and charlie pulled (he’d help you get even by putting tiny crabs down their swim trunks)
late night conversations where you and meeks would talk about anything and everything ranging from death to the pythagorean theorem (these were your favorite conversations because you were both so open and trusting with each other)
overall, you guys would have such a strong bond, introducing each other to new foods, subjects, experiences, and movies/music, all while maintaining the things that made you both unique (:
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Party Of Two
Dk x Reader
Author:Staryynighttae
Summary: He was loud. He was annoying. Your neighbor’s apartment is a party central and he doesn't care if your shared wall pounds with the loudness of the music. In a fit of pique, you rename your wifi network to tell him to shut up.
Pairing:Dk(Svt) x Reader
Gene:Neighbor au,Seokmin is a party animal,reader wants peace,members are mentioned
Rating:General Audiences
-Party Of Two-
“This is like the worst decision I’ve ever made in my life.” You said to your friend through the phone.
“Why? You said the place looked perfect.”
It wasn’t the place that was the problem. It has more than enough space for someone who lives alone, good interior and lighting, good location because it is near the school you’re attending; it was perfect, or even beyond that.
The problem wasn’t the unit. It was the unit next door, which is apparently owned by an annoying brat who tries to have like at least three parties in the span of five hours.
“The guy living next door is so annoying. I can’t even focus on reviewing for my class. His house won’t stay quiet for even 30 minutes.”
“Well, you can go tell him? I mean, he should respect your space, too, right?”
Your friend was right. You indeed deserved respect. You deserve peace and quiet, even just for an hour.
So, you decided to hung up and go out, ring your neighbor’s bell and waited for him to open the door.
And you regret doing just that.
“Who— Oh hi are you here to deliver jjajjangmyeon, noona??”
The door opened to a sight of a young man, clearly drunk and barely holding himself up.
“Uhm... no. I live next door and—“
“Is that jjajjangmyeon?” Another guy shouted.
Now everyone was by the door, waiting for you to give them the jjajjangmyeon you never even had.
“I just wanted to study what the sam heck have I gotten myself into?”
You just looked at the guys staring at you, as if still waiting for food.
“I’m not here to deliver food. I just— I live next door and I’m trying to study but the walls are thin so I can hear everything.”
“So, you have no food?” The guy who opened the door said. And you shook your head.
“That’s a waste.” He said, pouting. And he held the door knob. “It was nice seeing you though.”
And he shut the door. Right in front of your fucking face. What. The. Actual. Fuck.
“Hey I’m not—“
The door opened again. “I’m seokmin, by the way. Hehe.”
And he closes it again.
‘What is up with him?’ You sighed and just decided to give up and go back to your room.
The noise was still pounding against your walls. You just can’t take it. He needs to lowkey get that he and his noisy friends aren’t the only ones in the building.
You can’t go there every freaking night just to tell him to turn the volume down.
“God, I need my peace. I need to find a way to shut that entire unit up.”
-0-0-0-0-
The next day, you were leaving the house to go to the nearby grocery when the door to the next unit opened, revealing the guy from last night. He seemed to have just woken up, and was stretching and yawning when he came out. He looked towards you and suddenly closed his mouth and scratch the back of his head, as if embarrassed that you had to see that early in the morning.
As if you haven’t seen worse last night.
“Uhm... good morning.” He then said in a soft voice.
You just nodded and turned around to lock your door.
“You moved in a week ago, right?” He asked. “I’m sorry I haven’t introduced myself yet.”
“But you have, not properly, though.” You then whispered, only enough for you to hear.
“I’m Seokmin. I own 1230.” He said, reaching out his hand towards you.
Should you accept the handshake? After what this guy did last night, would you be so kind to accept this? They didn’t even shut up after you nicely asked, and they even asked you if you were delivering food.
You looked at him. He was smiling. Smiling so beautifully, enhancing his equally beautiful features. This is so annoying, him acting like he doesn’t even remember what happened last night.
Or maybe he actually didn’t. You, of all people know all of them inside that house were dead drunk. You decided to take his hand.
“I’m (Y/N). 1228.”
You put your keys in your pocket and started to walk when he decided to catch up to you.
“Where are you going?” He asked.
“The mart nearby.” You replied blandly.
He smiled. “I’m going there, too! Let’s go together?”
What is this boy trying to do, being nice to you and all?
You let him walk next to you, and shop next to you, answering his questions flatly, but never engaging more. It’s not that you wanted him to do these things with you, God knows you don’t, but he is somehow unnecessarily curious and he won’t even let you out of his sight.
You only thought of one thing: this boy was the reason you’re having a hard time focusing on your studies and he has to know.
“Seokmin-ssi, do you like parties?”
He looked at you and showed a grin. “Yes! Do you?”
You shook your head. “Not much, especially when I have stuff to study.”
You wanted to tell him straight to his face, like how he slammed the door straight at yours, that you hated how his parties distracted you and ask him if he can at least turn it even a bit down.
“Actually, I was studying last night and there was a unit that was partying so hard, I can’t focus.”
He thought for a short time and nodded. “Oh, well I guess they could maybe turn it down a little.”
You looked at him with disbelief in your eyes. Did this boy just forget about him partying last night right in his house and asking you for jjajjangmyeon because he was dead drunk? Did he think you were referring to someone else in the building? Is he still drunk?
“I know, right? These people should be considerate enough because they clearly know they’re not the only ones living in the building.”
He nodded. He fucking nodded. This guy is so hopeless; nothing is more dense than him.
-0-0-0-0-
Another day of another party. Another day you can’t study in your house. This is getting out of hand.
You grabbed your phone and decided to look for cafes near your building open later than 12AM and that’s when an idea crossed your head.
“What if..?”
You grabbed your laptop and connected your internet modem directly to it and changed some settings.
“Hope you finally get the message, Seokmin-ssi.”
You were in front of his door again, with your laptop in hand, waiting for anyone to open the door. You hope it was Seokmin, so you won’t have to take long.
“Yes— oh hi (Y/N)!” Seokmin said, a smile beaming from his face. “What’s up?”
Time to execute your ‘pass the message’ mission. “Hi, I’m so sorry to bother you at this hour but my internet modem isn’t working well and I have a paper to submit tonight. Do you mind if I connect to yours for a short while?”
“Yeah, sure uhm... well you can come in?” He said, awkwardly gesturing you to go inside.
Inside, there were 12 more boys sitting in front of the television, playing some sort of video game. These people are the same faces you saw the last time you were here and almost got my face hit by a door.
“Don’t they ever get tired of each other’s faces?’ You wondered as you looked at them.
Seokmin led you to the desk counter and you placed your laptop there. You faced it towards him and said a soft ‘thank you’.
He smiled and started to scroll through all the available wifi connections listed when
“Who the he— ‘1230 shut the fuck up I need my peace’?”
You almost laughed at his reaction. His face depicted confusion, as to who wrote it, and embarrassment because I saw and heard it.
“Oh my God, why are they so mean? I mean, we’re just having fun?”
You wanted to take all the hair from his scalp right there and then. Does this boy even know respect?
“Well, maybe they’re doing something important like, I don’t know, studying?”
“Well, then he can just go straight here and tell it to my face.” He said, slightly annoyed. “I know what compromise is.”
‘But I did, and you asked me for jjajjangmyeon, you idiot.’ You thought. He grabbed your laptop.
“Can I use it for a second?”
You nodded, and watched as he reached for his own modem and connected it to your laptop. You figured he was setting up his internet connection, too, since that was what you also did.
So, got a message for me, too, huh?
He then returned and gave back your laptop.
“There, I connected it and I checked automatic connect so if ever you need it again...”
You smiled sarcastically, “Thank you again, Seokmin-ssi.”
You went back to your room, laptop in hand and checked the name of his wifi connection.
“I don’t know you but no need to be rude, dude. It’s all fun.” You read. You snickered. “This rude little— I just need you to shut up for 1 hour!”
It’s official. The boy’s stupid. And you hate him.
-0-0-0-0-
The wifi name exchanges continued for days, weeks even, with you saying “I need to study, you idiot” and him replying with a “Well I need my social life, too, little miss goodie”
It was annoying. He was still doing his party routine and you just wanted him to stop for even a second.
But sometimes, it was also fun. He’d joke around and you won’t hide that you found it funny. He also asked you why you’re always so mad and you just reply, ‘you annoy me’. Sometimes it takes both of us minutes to reply, but sometimes it would take hours. But it was weird because no matter how long the replies took, you waited.
It was your linear algebra test tomorrow. And by the looks of it, you are about to flunk it if you don’t get to study. But this boy is, again, making it difficult.
“Oh for the love of God, shut up!” You wrote, as if Seokmin can hear your wifi name.
And he was quick to reply. “You too!”
You need your study time, and if you had to beg, you will.
“Please, I have a linear algebra exam tomorrow I need to pass this.”
“Please. I really need this.”
“I beg you, even just for two hours.”
You changed it in 2 minutes intervals, hoping he was keeping an eye on it.
And the music stopped. The loud banging on the wall was gone. He was indeed keeping an eye on your messages.
You checked the available wifi connections for his possible reply.
“Two hours. If you need more, just write it down.”
“Why is he being uncharacteristically nice tonight?” You wondered, but brushed it off and opened your algebra book.
Two hours did fly by too quickly, and you did ask him for another hour of quietness and he obliged. This was weird to you, but you figured maybe he was nice after all and you just needed to ask him nicely.
After you were done reviewing, you typed in a short “Thank you” to him through the modem and switched of your lights.
Seokmin, on the other hand, wondered who the person having a conversation with him through the modem is, because it was indeed a weird but unique way to communicate with him. Although most of the time, the person was annoyed and rude towards him, he still found it cute that he continued to communicate with him through this.
-0-0-0-0-
This is a great progress. For three weeks now, you don’t even have to ask him to give you time to study; he’s the one offering it to you. He also asks you how your day went, how many papers you need to do, and if you ate dinner. He sounded like he cared a lot. And it felt so nice to hear someone being concerned about you. It made you feel special.
“You need two hours today?” The wifi name stated. You smiled. He did mean it when he said you just needed to ask nicely. Seokmin, he really is nice unlike how you pictured him to be.
“Today is fine. No homeworks. But keep the volume down.” You typed and plopped yourself on your bed, waiting for his music to start.
“But today, it was different. The music wasn’t loud and banging. “Jazz music?”
You placed your ear next to the wall and listened. The music was soothing and calming.
“I’m alone today. I figured you needed relaxing music.” The wifi name was changed again.
You still placed your ear on the wall, and indulged in the smooth sound of the music.
You decided to chat with him.
“Where are your twelve loud friends?”
“They come over for a week every other month. It’s a tradition.”
“Why?”
“Because they work far away.”
“And you?”
“I’m a singer. And a jazz music enthusiast.”
“I can see that.”
“No, you just hear it.”
“Ha ha I’m dropping you.”
“Btw, how did you think of this way of communication?”
His question brought you back to why you even started this. You wanted silence. You wanted peace. And you did get it. Come to think of it, you can already stop this nonsense of talking through the wifi names.
But now, talking to Seokmin like this made you feel more at ease.
“Well, millennials love the internet”
“It’s cute. Different, unusual and weird, but cute.”
Your eyes widened by his comment. He found it cute that you actually talked to him like this. You tried to brush off the redness off of your cheeks.
“I’m glad you think that way.”
“Are you a girl or a boy?”
“What do you think?”
“A girl. A guy can’t possibly do something as cute as this.”
There he is again, calling this cute. He needs to stop.
“Stop calling this cute.”
“But it is. And you are, too.”
“No.”
“Maybe if I see you, I’d stop.”
“Why? Because maybe I’m not cute?”
“No. Maybe because you’re beautiful.”
He did not.
He called you beautiful.
Okay, maybe it was a 'maybe beautiful', but it was enough to make your heart beat a little faster than usual.
“Stop it. I’m leaving.”
“Sorry. I just want to know you.”
“I’m still in college.”
“Yeah, explains the studying. How old are you?”
“20.”
“I’m 22.”
“Really? I thought we were the same age when I saw you.”
“You saw me? Where?”
You wanted to curse yourself. You just told him you already saw him. That was a freaking big of a giveaway for you, stupid.
“Just around.”
“How did you know it was me, then?”
“I just guessed.”
Wow. What a freaking excuse.
“Wait.”
“Where are you going?”
And he was gone, no reply for about 30 minutes.
“Are you there?”
You typed and refreshed the scanning and waited, but no reply, still. You decided to call it a day and sleep in.
The next day, you checked if there was a message waiting for you.
-0-0-0-0-
“I’m sorry for not replying. I just went to get something last night.”
“It’s okay, you gave me time when I needed it, too.”
“Well, now can you give me the time and hear me out?”
“Sure. What is it?”
“I know you.”
You froze when you saw the last sentence. He knew you? How?
No, he must be bluffing.
“Really? How?”
This is nerve-wracking. It took him minutes to reply.
“I’ve been theorizing this the whole night.”
“And?”
“How did you know I have twelve friends coming over?”
Dang it. I never noticed that I wrote it down that way. You didn’t reply.
“You won’t know unless you came and met them.”
Why is this stupid boy suddenly so smart?
“And you’re 20. I asked the landlady.”
"She said there are only 3 people who are 20 years old here."
"Two of them are boys."
"In the mart, you told me about being annoyed while studying."
"Connecting to my wifi was intentional for me to see your message."
"I think I also met you even before the morning we went to the mart, that's why you acted so annoyed towards me."
"Soonyoung said he vaguely remembered me shutting the door at someone's face the night before they left."
"That was you, right?"
"Right, (Y/N)-si? 1228?"
You just froze all over again. He did know.
"You got me." You typed.
"You got me, too." He replied. What does he mean?
"What do you mean?"
"Do you need two hours today?"
Why is he suddenly asking you if you needed time? And on a weekend?
"No. Why?"
"Well, now you do, because I need it with you."
"What?"
"I'm asking you out do you even have sense?"
You laughed as red spread through your cheeks.
"You could've worded it more clearly."
"I'm a tongue twisted human being, stop being mean."
"You're cute."
You heard a soft 'thud' on the wall.
"Seokmin, what was that?"
"I just threw my pillow to the wall. My heart won't stay still, you idiot."
You laughed again.
"How are you so cute?"
"Oh my God, stop it!"
"Okay, okay!"
It took him a few minutes to reply.
"Hey, maybe it would be better for me to ask you on the phone. 010-800-xxxxx"
You rolled your eyes. Look at him, slyly giving you his number so you can contact him.
"Just come over and ask me. I'm a door away."
"But all of this is cute."
"Seokmin."
"But you got to admit, I'm cuter than all of this."
"I hate you, you idiot."
"Too bad, then"
"Because I like you a lot, (Y/N)."
#seventeen#seventeen fanfic#dk x reader#dokyeom#dokyeom x reader#seokmin#seokmin x reader#Dk x you#stories#dk fluff#dk fanfic#seokmin fanfic#seokmin fluff#seokmin drabble#seokmin scenarios#seokmin seventeen#svt dk#dokyeom scenarios#dokyeom fluff#dokyeom fic
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okay wait, i changed my mind. you should answer all of these questions as well, if that's what you want from me >:)
oof there's a lot of it, that's what i get for wanting to be ✨aesthetic✨
1: 6 of the songs you listen to most?
vowels (and the importance of being me) - hunny
honeypie - jawny
pretty young thing - michael jackson
mirrors - justin timberlake
sunflower - red orange county
paradise - rude-a
2: If you could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be?
a therapist.
ok someone else.. uhh,, my grand grandma because i only have scratches of memories but i dunno if that counts since she passed away...
*rummages through ancient scripts* uhh ok someone who isn't dead.. uhm,, tommie? yeah I'd like to meet them if i could meet anyone on earth
3: Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 23, give me line 17.
ok, the closest german, english or polish book? nvm i have english
"suddenly was. So I just said thank you a few times too, and Mum" ironically this is one of the normal lines in this book
4: What do you think about most?
the fact that I'll have to do something after school. and I don't know if i want to go to college or get a job bc i have no legitimate idea on what to do with my life. it gets overwhelming, just the lack of knowledge about the actual experience.
5: What does your latest text message from someone else say?
Ok
6: Do you sleep with or without clothes on?
with, tho i sleep with just shorts in summer
7: What’s your strangest talent?
not sure if it's a talent, but i can fall asleep anywhere
8: Girls… (finish the sentence); Boys… (finish the sentence)
girls are pretty. boys are pretty
9: Ever had a poem or song written about you?
by me, yes. no one else has written a poem about me specifically. nvm, tommie wrote one and it shall rest on my wall, or desk, i need to find a place for it
10: When is the last time you played the air guitar?
uhh i think last month?
11: Do you have any strange phobias?
i don't think so, but i am hella afraid of the possibly gigantic, terrifying things in the ocean depths that humans haven't discovered yet
12: Ever stuck a foreign object up your nose?
yep, beloved legos as a lil child
13: What’s your religion?
i can't ever remember the name, but i believe gods (from all religions) exist in some way or form. so i believe in different pantheons and etc.
14: If you are outside, what are you most likely doing?
walking my doggo, skateboarding, thinking about how to make the lives of my characters worse
15: Do you prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it?
behind it.
16: Simple but extremely complex. Favorite band?
uhmm the arctic monkeys? or the strokes
17: What was the last lie you told?
i know what i want
18: Do you believe in karma?
yes, the rule of three specifically
19: What does your URL mean?
i don't know. it's something me and my sis came up with and that's just my whole identity now.
20: What is your greatest weakness; your greatest strength?
uhh greatest weakness.. i can't finish things. strength is that I'm very stubborn so maybe I'll finish that thing out of spite
21: Who is your celebrity crush?
i grew up thinking crushes were like unicorns. my ex was odd enough to argue with that i didn't love her if i didn't have a crush on her. but I think if i had to guess.. selena gomez, especially in the role of alex russo in wizard of weverly street
22: Have you ever gone skinny dipping?
nope
23: How do you vent your anger?
i write angry letters. sometimes they're sad letters. i write a lot of letters. except i never send them out and no one made a movie about them :}
24: Do you have a collection of anything?
jars and witchy bottles, books? scented candles
25: Do you prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online?
phone calls are stressful enough as is, i don't need you to see my reading off what i frantically wrote to not stumble over my words
26: Are you happy with the person you’ve become?
i think so, yes, but that won't stop me from becoming better
27: What’s a sound you hate; sound you love?
hate flies buzzing right by my ear, love cat purring
28: What’s your biggest “what if”?
what if I'd been born in a place where it was illegal for me (nonbinary) to live, in a time when others thought of me as a curse?
29: Do you believe in ghosts? How about aliens?
they be chilling.
30: Stick your right arm out; what do you touch first? Do the same with your left arm.
right arm, doggo, left arm, pillow
31: Smell the air. What do you smell?
fresh air and doggo, because doggo is with me and I can't live without open windows
32: What’s the worst place you have ever been to?
i dunno tbh
33: Choose: East Coast or West Coast?
which one is less homophobic?
34: Most attractive singer of your opposite gender?
every gender is my opposite gender. selena gomez and justin timberlake
35: To you, what is the meaning of life?
to make it easier for people down the line
36: Define Art.
make thing, thing goes woo
37: Do you believe in luck?
yis
38: What’s the weather like right now?
it's nice actually, very sunny, slight breeze
39: What time is it?
12.59 am
40: Do you drive? If so, have you ever crashed?
i don't, but i once crashed into a fire department vehicle with my bike. bike ded.
41: What was the last book you read?
Crooked Kingdom by Leigh Bardugo
42: Do you like the smell of gasoline?
i legit ass don't know what gasoline smells like.
43: Do you have any nicknames?
many variations of my name, aka. Luce
44: What was the last film you saw?
i think it was Robin Hood: King of Thieves, but it might have been that half of spider-man homecoming i managed to watch with my poor internet
45: What’s the worst injury you’ve ever had?
oh man i dunno... it's not an injury, but i was very sickly as a lil kid and almost died :)
46: Have you ever caught a butterfly?
once, years ago
47: Do you have any obsessions right now?
hmmm horizon zero dawn i think
48: What’s your sexual orientation?
proud pansexual ^^
49: Ever had a rumour spread about you?
not really, i don't think they're big enough to be actual rumors,, meh
50: Do you believe in magic?
yis
51: Do you tend to hold grudges against people who have done you wrong?
meh. they suck, i know they suck, that's it.
52: What is your astrological sign?
cancer ♋
53: Do you save money or spend it?
i attempt saving. attempt
54: What’s the last thing you purchased?
for my own money, sweets. i bought lizards for my cats so they can brush their teeth from my dad's amazon acc
55: Love or lust?
luv
56: In a relationship?
nope, i buy my own cookies
57: How many relationships have you had?
1, kinda toxic toward the end, very stressful, don't recommend
58: Can you touch your nose with your tongue?
nu ><
59: Where were you yesterday?
on the fields walking my doggo
60: Is there anything pink within 10 feet of you?
yep, a pastel pink hoodie in my closet uwu
61: Are you wearing socks right now?
yis, thicc warm socks
62: What’s your favourite animal?
cats
63: What is your secret weapon to get someone to like you?
cuddles and food.
64: Where is your best friend?
bold of you to assume i have a best friend.
65: Give me your top 5 favourite blogs on Tumblr.
tommie-hildebrandt, kageyuji, nekomas-kuroo, joyful-soul-collector
66: What is your heritage?
I'm a demon boi from Poland tho that's not a thing to be proud of, i mean, look at the economy. awful.
67: What were you doing last night at 12AM?
sleeping, trying to sleep.
68: What do you think is Satan’s last name?
Pinkton. or Satan.
69: Be honest. Ever gotten yourself off?
this is such an odd combination of words i had to look it up. yea.
70: Are you the kind of friend you would want to have as a friend?
a friend who won't laugh at me when i ask them to order smth for me because I'm too anxious to.
71: You are walking down the street on your way to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss has told you if you are late one more time you get fired. What do you do?
excuse me? i am saving the doggo wtf. f u boss, I'm gonna sell my tragic story to the news.
72: You are at the doctor’s office and she has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live. a) Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die? b) What do you do with your remaining days? c) Would you be afraid?
a) i tell my parents. b) live the hell out of them uwu c) nope uwu.
73: You can only have one of these things; trust or love.
trust.
74: What’s a song that always makes you happy when you hear it?
history maker - dean fujioka :]
75: What are the last four digits in your cell phone number?
3332
76: In your opinion, what makes a great relationship?
communication, trust, some more communication.
77: How can I win your heart?
let's not pretend to be something else to please each other, and bring some bitter chocolate.
78: Can insanity bring on more creativity?
maybe. it could. i don't have a say in it since my sanity is held by tape.
79: What is the single best decision you have made in your life so far?
eat the pizza. stop caring about others not liking me/parts of me. just living for myself uwu.
80: What size shoes do you wear?
uh i dunno how the american sizes work and i don't wanna look it up so, 39, 40 fits too.
81: What would you want to be written on your tombstone?
demon boi
82: What is your favourite word?
socks.
83: Give me the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word; heart.
the bloody organ that sits in your chest and pumps blood into your body so you don't die.
84: What is a saying you say a lot?
uhm im not sure if that counts as a saying, but fake it till you make it
85: What’s the last song you listened to?
blinding lights - the weeknd
86: Basic question; what’s your favourite colour/colours?
oh a normal question people use for ice breaking, sea blue and pastel variations of it.
87: What is your current desktop picture?
like my wallpaper? or the actual picture that sits on my desk? or how my desk looks like atm? it's ugly, a lot of papers and pens and schoolbooks.
88: If you could press a button and make anyone in the world instantaneously explode, who would it be?
donald trump. or the next asshole who'll try to take the rights of the lgbt and poc away
89: What would be a question you’d be afraid to tell the truth on?
this. this is the question.
90: One night you wake up because you heard a noise. You turn on the light to find that you are surrounded by MUMMIES. The mummies aren’t really doing anything, they’re just standing around your bed. What do you do?
yo there's a pizza somewhere in the refrigerator, want me to heat it up? we can have a sleep over and talk about our feelings :3
91: You accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow you with the super-power of your choice! What is that power?
telekinesis! or shapeshifting! i could do such fun things with telekinesis ^^ yeah I'd totally eat some radioactive veggies
92: You can re-live any point of time in your life. The time-span can only be a half-hour, though. What half-hour of your past would you like to experience again?
that time my "friends" got me into shoplifting, half-hour is more than enough to punch some sense into my brain and develop good music taste
93: You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be?
can i save this one? i don't think i have an experience horrible enough to be erased haha
94: You have the opportunity to sleep with the music-celebrity of your choice. Who would it be?
sleep as in.. uh no thank u. but I'm down for a sleep over with sam smith ^^
95: You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go?
just me? what about my pets? my fam? it's lowkey illegal for me to go just anywhere without them owO
uhhmm, greece. imma become part of the greek pantheon out of pure spite. and maybe toronto canada.
96: Do you have any relatives in jail?
not any that i know of o.o
97: Have you ever thrown up in the car?
i think i may have but i honestly don't remember
98: Ever been on a plane?
nope, i dunno if i like planes, but I'd probably sleep if i were on one.
99: If the whole world were listening to you right now, what would you say?
yeet.
#that was long#probably because my stubborn ass wanted to make pretty formatting#shiishki.rambles#shiishki.interacts with tommie
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Pain, with love VIII
Pairing: Horacio Carrillo x reader
Summary: Arranged marriages are tough, but add that with having a drug lord on the loose? Horacio Carrillo can only imagine what’s coming for him.
Warnings: (slight) mentions of blood, hints of dying, grammatical issues
a/n: i really hope this chapter makes sense because i’m editing this at almost 12am and i have school tmr :) also i realised i changed the ending from the one i wrote in the preview so i’m very very sorry.
4.5k words
Chapter 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7
Chapter 8;
The night was cool, carrying the faint scent of gasoline from nearby vehicles in the air. The rain was heavy, dancing with the wind as it poured onto the streets of Bogota. The streets were full of life, and just once did Horacio wish it wasn’t.
It almost seemed like the colours of the festival had lit up the gloomy skies, shining a flurry of bright lights that did not dim despite the weather. The display was truly a sight to behold, with large decorations framed with beautiful flowers that hung along the road. The music echoed from across the street, musking the sound of the heavy downpour that resonated throughout Bogota. Everyone was humming to the same tune, skipping with each step they took despite the air of anguish that hung above them - or so Horacio felt.
The night was beautiful, until it wasn’t.
The droning of the engines was the only thing that kept him company, driving between lanes in hopes to find a way out faster. The rain had become heavier, in turn, creating disruptions in the transmissions to his men. With each time he tried to give orders, the static would sound, drowning out his words that at this point - was incoherent. What could you say, when your lover was in the hands of the man you hated most? What could you say when you were close to losing yourself?
Horacio had no clue, and at this moment, the only thing that kept him from breaking was the possibility of saving you - despite how difficult he knew it would be. A glimpse of hope, he thinks, a small light that shines in the sea of unforgiving hopelessness. He was only one man, against who knows how many - even then, did it not dampen the spirit that ignited within him.
He promised, hadn’t he?
A promise he would keep, even if it meant he had to die trying. Whatever it took to keep you safe, that much (and more), was he willing to do. What would it mean, if he had to live without you? What would it mean, if the one that showered him in love wasn’t there to keep his broken soul together?
The night went on forever, so it seems, and the fear was becoming of him with each passing second. He tries to steady himself, to not be controlled by the paralysing realisation that he had brought this upon you. You, a being so sweet - like a goddess made for only him to worship, didn’t deserve the dangers that came with marrying a colonel. No one should have to face the horrors the Search Bloc had to witness, lest of all, you.
Horacio’s mind was quick to jump, insecurities creeping up on him as he remained cooped up in a vehicle too small, with a threat too big to handle, while stuck in a traffic jam that seemed endless. This, he thinks, was what I feared about - That one day he would wake up with your blood on his hands, a nagging reminder that he could never save you. A nightmare that he was sure would haunt him forever.
I truly never deserved you, he believes, because I could never fully promise to give you picket fences or sunny afternoons that I know you deserve.
Red. Always red.
Blood. Always stained.
Fear. Always ingrained.
Will he ever be the same?
The pitter-patter noises against the windscreen had become harsher, with heavy raindrops splattering on the vehicle. It breaks him from his thoughts, and once again he is reminded of the cards he’s given to deal with. The music from the festival now sings in slow motion, and Horacio could hear his breathing labour as the red traffic light paints and bleeds all over his face.
How much more of a nightmare could this turn out to be?
Well Horacio, this could only be the beginning.
The skies were bright, and while the rain would’ve been a soothing melody to anyone else - all it did was churn more anxiety and frustration in him. He was restless, and as the emotions continued brewing within him, he felt the strong urge to puke. He felt suffocated - the claustrophobia unknowingly creeping up on him. Too small. Too tight. Not much air.
Dizzy.
Horacio maps the road in his head, the one he’s been on for years. He knows it, like the back of his hand - but for some reason the memory doesn’t come to him. Was it the stress? The panic? The worry? He couldn’t tell, and he racked his brain trying to remember something, just something that he could use to get out of this traffic.
“The road,” he muttered, “the road leads there doesn’t it?”
He tries, and tries, and tries. Which way would lead to you again? He can’t think, not when his mind would drift back to you.
Always you.
He struggled to be strong, and it confused him - where was that tough guy front he had all these years? Where has that mask gone to - when he needed it the most? Had you torn down all those walls completely? Had he let you in so easily?
He stares at the sight before him, as a cold and broken man - unsure of the fate that awaits you. He breathes in a shaky breath, palms sweating against the cool leather of the wheel. The night was chilly, and Horacio had found himself wishing it wasn’t you - that it was him instead.
He had broken his promise, the very one that your father entrusted him with. And as the rain twinkled with the festival’s lights, Horacio only prayed that your blood wouldn’t be running cold when he finally got to you.
There was melody, strung out and eerie - like a soft soothing piano instrumental, with every other note missing.
Fear.
He makes the haste decision to take the next turn after the traffic light, knowing it would lead to an ‘unused’ road that might help to speed up the process of getting to you. He was one man, which made everything he did more time sensitive. He was only one man - one against the many to come, and everything he will do, he does it for you.
The static of the radio rings in his ears, and Horacio could hear each time he swallows his saliva. Why was everything becoming so loud all of a sudden? Had the festival’s lights gotten brighter too? He couldn’t tell, and the sounds only seemed to get louder with each passing moment.
Think quick.
Think fast.
Horacio makes a swift turn, driving on the road that was deemed ‘unused’, only to realise that there were a handful of cars before him which made his heart plummet to his belly.
Fuck, he cries, and his fingernails dig roughly into his large palms. He scrapes the nails over the wounds that form, and his mind is back again on you. It draws blood, staining his hands that now tremble more than before.
It was surely an improvement from the main roads, which he knew would take hours before the jam would clear up. This road, however, was narrow, and despite the significant drop in density of vehicles, anything could happen - and Horacio wasn’t going to bet on the likelihood he would be out of here fast.
Time seemed to fly by slower, the seconds feeling like minutes as the car’s interior began to heat up quickly. While everything Horacio was doing - every decision, every step he made in the matter of seconds, felt like hours to him. Was this the torture he had put the drug lord to? The torturously slow wait that was slowly eating him from inside? His fingers shaked as he gripped the steering wheel harder, palms becoming sweaty as he thought about the hostage situation.
The traffic flow here was much better, with occasional stops that made Horacio’s heart hammer in his chest. He could feel the conflicting emotions fill his body, and the liquid fire that now pumped through his veins. The fear that was once controlling his entire being had now transformed into anger, and he made a silent promise to put an end to Gacha when all of this was over. And everything he will do, he does it for you.
Please, he begs, please let me just get to her.
Now - have you ever seen a man that was as authoritative as him, beg?
He was directly next to the festival’s stores, each one of them lining the long street with their beautiful goods displayed. The scent of cooked food was carried in the air, as well as the sounds of chatter from nearby customers. The sidewalk was practically swarmed, with people of all ages carefully inspecting the various items that each shop sold.
Horacio tried again, rolling his thumb over the radio in hopes to finally get his message out to his men. The static had come out shaky, but as a softer buzz than the last time. He calls out, desperate and in pleads, that hopefully someone would be able to reach to you before he did.
The transmission comes back to him, with one of his men answering in broken responses.
“Hello? -- Can you hear me?”
Horacio slams the radio down, his anger getting the better of him. In all his years in Search Bloc, he thought he had seen it all - from hostage situations, to drug lab busts to petty crime. But never has he been put in a situation where he felt so helpless and weak, a hair’s breadth away from crumbling with the pressure that settled on his shoulders. He had thought about it, to open his car door and race home to you, but that wouldn’t work - not when his house was still several miles away. It wouldn’t do anyone good if he were to run home in the rain, soiling all his gears and equipment with the cold droplets that fell from above.
It wasn’t you they were after, he reminds himself, it was him.
They wouldn’t dare to touch you, right?
Horacio decided not to think of anything else but the former, and the blood within him boiled a little warmer than before.
A commotion had broken him from his dwelling, and as traffic moved, Horacio had driven right next to the source of it all. A man, in shabby and torn robes was picking a fight with a pedestrian, clearly drunk off his wits’ end. The window at the seat next to Horacio was down, and he could smell the stench of the alcohol that the drunkyard had reeked of. The man stumbled, steps uneven as he made a beeline towards the smaller man. His footing was off, which resulted in him falling back against several people behind him - ones who were too busy in buying food from the store nearby to care about the fight that had just broken out.
The traffic was finally picking up its pace again, and Horacio drove past the forming crowd, eyeing the way the dunkard was yelling profanities. In any other scenario, Horacio would’ve stepped out of his car to stop the fight, but in a dire situation like this - he couldn’t find the need to care.
Horacio took one last glance at the crowd before looking back on the road, focusing on the problem he had at hand. But there was just something, a dress of white and yellow, that had caught his attention amidst the pool of people. His head snapped back quickly, studying the person that had worn the article of clothing.
The visibility was poor, but as Horacio strained his eyes beyond the water droplets that painted his windows, he noticed the dress to be similar to the one he had got you just a few weeks prior.
Horacio’s radio was burning up again, with transmissions becoming clearer as the rain lessened significantly. The voices of his men were less shaky and their replies were now more prominent than before. Horacio winds down the window more, straining his neck out to get a better look at the woman.
“Sir, is there something wrong?”
The radio had called out to him, with Trujillo’s notable voice now laced with worry. Horacio drove his car half a metre forward, hearing the cars behind him fill the air with their persistent honking. There were just too many sounds, but it didn’t bother Horacio as he continued studying the unknown figure. There were just so many features that resembled you, and Horacio caught himself double taking in confusion.
Perhaps it was just someone who looked like you from behind, seeing that your hair length and colour was a pretty common style amongst young women in Bogota. Horacio tried his best to tear his eyes away from the figure, but there was just something that nagged at him to look back.
His radio once again calls out to him, and Trujillo’s voice had a tinge of panic as he asked if there were any issues that Horacio needed help with. The car honks had continued blaring, and Horacio decided it would be best to pick up the pace, ignoring the doppelgänger to continue his drive home.
Time was ticking, and Horacio couldn’t spend it on studying people that vaguely looked like you - especially when you were in grave danger.
Horacio started his car again, listening to the familiar whirring as he stepped on the accelerator. There was a brief moment where everything was silent, and soon after he heard a shrill - a loud unpleasant sound that made him snap his head back. The drunkard had vomited all over the pavement and onto a woman’s shoes, which explained the scream of disgust and anger that broke the peace. There were onlookers that were peeking at the damage done, sniggering as they found the scene humourous. One person, in particular, who was amidst the crowd was undoubtedly you.
You had turned your head and peered over the woman’s shoulder, staring with disgust at the scene that had just played out before you. Horacio’s heart pounded in his chest, and he stared at you in disbelief.
What?
Horacio’s eyebrows knitted together, feeling the air from his lungs get knocked out of him. He could feel his heart rate slow down, listening to the beats echo in his ears as time went in slow motion again.
How was it possible that you were here?
You brushed your hair out of your face, tucking the loose strands behind your ears as you ventured further into the festival’s displays. His eyes widened, feeling the confusion muddle his thoughts. He couldn’t comprehend what was happening, and what he had just seen.
What the fuck?
That woman was unmistakably you, and that made Horacio’s mind blank. The drivers from the cars behind had left their vehicles, standing before Horacio’s driver window in an attempt to get his attention. But Horacio had made little to no movement, like a beautiful marble statue, as his eyes glued to where you were just standing a few moments ago. There were loud poundings on his windows that followed with muffled complaints, all of which were trying to snap Horacio out of his thoughts - but everything around him seemed to still as his eyes followed you.
How could this be possible?
If you were here, despite the planned hostage situation that was taking place at his home, what the hell could this mean?
His back stiffens, the thoughts slowly forming in his brain as he carefully pieced the puzzle together. The muffled yelling only seemed to get louder, all of which calling out for his immediate attention.
Pound. Pound. Pound.
The windows of his passenger seat at the back trembled with the blunt force, and Horacio slowly turned off the engines of his vehicle. His car was now parked at the side of the narrow road, leaving a tight space next to him for other drivers to drive through. There were more eyes on him now, with each person now curious as to what he was up to. He spots your head get lost behind the crowd, and he immediately unbuckles his seatbelt to bolt out.
Was this … a set-up?
This whole situation didn’t make sense to him, and seeing you had almost given him a whiplash.
Horacio grabbed his radio and jumped out of the car, running towards the entrance of the festival, in direction of where you went. There were shouts calling for him from behind, each one from the drivers that he had no doubt just pissed off. Horacio pushes through the crowd, tip-toeing every few steps in hopes he could catch a glimpse of where you would be.
There were loud noises everywhere, along with sudden flashes of lights that caught Horacio off-guard. Sweat was forming along his hairline, feeling the heat in this small space get to him faster than anticipated. The fans that hung above each stall blew on the customers that walked by, but with the humidity that came after the rain, Horacio felt like it was setting his skin on fire.
His eyes scan through the sea of people, each one in different coloured clothes which stood out like a parade of colours - making it harder for him to find you. Horacio quickly held his radio to his mouth, calling out for Trujillo as he continued recklessly bumping into people just to get to you.
“Trujillo!” Horacio shouted into the device, his voice competing with the speakers that he stood next to.
“Trujillo come in!”
With barely a moment to spare, Horacio heard the voice of his most trusted man answer back.
“Yes Sir?”
“Trujillo, gather all the units to set up a perimeter around my house on 25th street! I have a suspicion that Gacha is planning an ambush there, call all units to de-escalate the issue immediately!”
There was a faint response from Trujillo’s end, indicating that he understood Horacio’s request. Horacio shoved the device into the back pocket of his uniform pants, before continuing to push through the area. The place was getting more packed, with the post dinner crowd finally arriving at the venue. The air was stifling, with the heat and sweat of everyone around him causing him to grow more nervous. Horacio’s eyes dance around the general area, hoping to spot something that he could identify you with.
The sudden flashing lights that were meant to attract customers now messed with his sight, and Horacio found himself wincing every few seconds. His heartbeat was rising, and the collars of his uniform were now once again drenching in sweat. There were so many questions in his mind, but he opted to find you first - placing your safety before everything else.
He managed to spot you soon after, noticing that you were at the other end of the festival grounds, on the way to the road just across it. Horacio stretched out his arms, forming a small barrier around him as he apologetically pushed past the people. The area of the festival wasn’t large, and Horacio found himself and the other end within minutes.
He slowly moves past the people in front of him, steps slowing down as he notices you sitting at a small bus stop just across the festival. The mellow orange light casted down on you, and you looked around the empty streets that only had various cars and trucks parked along it. You fiddled with your fingers, playing around with them as you patiently waited for the bus, occasionally glancing up to check if there were any oncoming vehicles.
Horacio’s eyes were trained on you, and as he finally stepped out of the crowd, he could feel the light drizzle coating his body. The air was cool, carrying the scent of wet grass as Horacio finally felt himself breathe - no longer stuck in the small space that he had to claw his way out of. He staggers towards the edge of the road, staring at you as you continue playing with your items, occasionally huffing with restlessness.
Horacio could feel the tears that were about to well in his eyes, body sagging with exhaustion as he took in the sight of you safe and sound. He sucked in a breath before calling out to you, rubbing his palms against his canvas pants to rid the slight trembling that had continued since he got out the car.
“Y/N?” he croaked, arm stretching out towards you, “Y/N!”
Your head snapped up, eyebrows furrowed before you recognized your husband standing from across the street. The lights from the night festival had given you better visibility, and you could see the relief and happiness that was etched on his face. His eyes crinkled as he smiled at you, and the butterflies in your stomach fluttered, making your cheeks turn red.
“Horacio? What are you doing here?”
You stood up from the cold plastic seat, taking a few steps to meet him halfway. The granite under your shoe grinded against the soles, crunching with each step you took. The festival music had drowned behind you, and as you stepped closer to Horacio, you could feel your heart beating faster. The street lamps illuminated his face, and you caught sight of the tears that threatened to spill from his eyes.
You reach your hands out, moving to cup his face as he stands closer to you, watching as the lights framed your figure perfectly - making you seem so ethereal and angelic. He feels his voice waiver, and he swallows the lump that forms in his throat, “I’m so glad you’re here.”
You smile at him, missing the pain that laced his earlier statement, “I did mention I wanted to come here, didn’t I?”
Your hands trail down his neck and to his arms, holding his huge biceps as you continue smiling in his embrace. He looks at you in a certain way that has your heart doing flips, noticing the way his eyes would land on your nose and lips. “Horacio, is something wr-”
His lips are on yours, strong and passionate as he kisses you deeper. Horacio coils his arms around your waist, pulling you closer to him. The world around you disappeared, and it felt like time stood still as he moulded his lips with yours. There was something so sweet about it, the tenderness yet passion in the way he moved his lips against yours. He tasted like mint, and you found yourself wanting more.
The salvation, he remembers, to save him from himself.
He melts into your touch, and he tries his best not to cave him. Just like that, the weight on his shoulders are removed, and he feels the tears roll down freely.
You’re his saving grace, and as your fingers gently brush off the tears that fall, he knows now - he would do anything for you.
He pulls away first, panting against your mouth as a string of saliva connects both of your lips. Horacio rests his head on yours, staring right into your eyes with a look of adoration and love, and you felt your cheeks burn harder.
His hand trails your back, moving up your neck to gently cup your left cheek in his large palm. The heat made you lean in further, purring with delight as he broke the silence between the two of you.
“I love you,” he muttered, softly at first and only to you.
You felt your heart burst, filling your entire being with an incomprehensible emotion. He drags his thumb over your mouth, feeling the plushness of the bottom lip under his finger pad. You barely gasp out a ‘what’, not quite believing his confession to you. Your mind swarmed with thoughts, making your heart pound faster against your ribs.
“I love you,” he says it again, this time louder - unafraid to admit it to the world.
You jump into his arms, trailing your hands around his neck and he carries you up. Your head rests against his shoulder, and your wavering voice could barely bring out the words ‘I love you too’. He holds your head against his body, leaning in to kiss the crown of your head with a shaky breath, “I am so sorry, my love.”
You smile against the soft skin of his neck, running your fingers through his short hair, “I know, ” you whisper, and you lean forward to feel his lips against you, “I know you are.”
Horacio’s radio sounds from his back pocket, with Trujillo’s distinct voice indicating that Gacha’s men have been all arrested at the ambush site. That piece of information alone allowed Horacio to relax, dropping his head down to bury it on your neck. Horacio hugged you tighter, feeling a wave of relief wash over him.
There wasn’t anything to worry about now - for the problems have now all been solved.
Or so he thought.
Trujillo’s voice was heard over the device again, this time taking a serious tone in his voice, “Sir, Gacha has not been seen anywhere, it seems like he didn’t even show up here at all.”
The blood in Horacio’s body had immediately run cold, his head looking up as he processed the information. He hugged your body tighter against him, eyebrows knitted together in confusion. You nuzzle your face further into the space where his neck and shoulder meet, gently planting kisses with an evident smile on your face.
If he wasn’t there, where would he be?
There were flashes of white that blinded him, catching his off-guard as he thought of the escaped drug lord. Here he was, in the middle of an empty road, relishing in the sweet embrace after confessing his love for you, while an unsuspecting threat loomed over him. The sound of tires was gradually growing louder, along with the familiar faint cracking sound of a heavy object against the wet granite road. Horacio turned to his left, wincing as the harsh white headlights flashed into his eyes. There was a vehicle, a truck to be exact, that was taller than he was, speeding towards his general position.
The night was beautiful, until it wasn’t.
A familiar voice now laughs at him, the sound - maniacal and forced now echoed through the streets, bringing a whole new wave of pressure. Many would say that the best things in life go by too fast, Horacio would argue that everything in life went by too quick.
The cocking of the gun rings in his ears, and a shimmer against the metal shines into his eyes. The weapon was now directed at him, and he frowned deeply at the gesture.
Life is so unpredictable, isn’t it? Just when you thought things would go well - it goes the opposite direction.
As he stood in the middle of the road with you in his arms, he could hear the threats that were barked at him a few hours prior. His arms around you tightens, and he looks down at your head still tucked into the crook of his neck - blissfully unaware of the end that awaits the both of you.
He smiles, and he knows that no matter what happens now, it would be done just to save you.
Engraved in your heart, he thinks, even if I die, I’ll live on forever.
“You’re going to fucking regret this.”
And that, he finally didn’t.
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Wow, the day has finally come. I’ve been waiting for so so so long for this. The fourth and Final Rebuild of Evangelion is premiering on Amazon video at 12am and I truly cannot believe the day has finally come.
I first found out about Evangelion years and years ago. I think it was the summer of 1995 the very first time I saw a review of the anime of the back of GameFan magazine! I couldn’t even read English at the time but I kept the issue for years and years and much later like in 6th grade I could finally understand enough English to consume the text. “The best anime that has ever been made”. I was like wow... okay girl calm down. But... it was true!
Right around that time I discovered this video game store in Tampa called MicroPlay where they had almost all the dubbed VHS tapes. I think this was like eight grade? So 1998. I could not get enough of it. I loved the show. I would literally connect a VCR to a TV/VCR combo we had and would copy all the tapes so I could watch them over and over again LOL. I loved the show and still do. I still remember the day I watched episode 20 for the first time and how it made me feel.
A few years later in 9th grade is when I finally got to watch The End of Evangelion. I’d made a friend on the Dreamcast IRC chat from Puerto Rico who liked my username (from Slayers). We made buddies and he mailed me a VHS copy of EoE and it absolutely blew me away even more than the show. It was the most intense raw movie I’d ever seen. Now, I’d seen the mass-production Evas online in ‘import stores’ as well as the back of GameFan LOL but didn’t even know what the hell they were, where they came from. I’d already seen the entire show! Then I saw EoE and it was glorious. The VHS is probably still somewhere!
I watched the first Rebuild in college in Gainesville in the late 2000s but I don’t remember when. I had lost track of everything, even video games my first year there because it was my first year out alone as an adult. I loved what they did with the first five episodes. Then in the summer of 2009 I watched the SECOND Rebuild and that one really blew me away. The new characters, the new angels, the new spin! I didn’t know what to think that of all shows they would decide to retell the biggest one of all this way!
I think it was 2012 when I watched the first 9 minutes of Q that had been uploaded on YouTube in varying degrees of quality lol. I was like... okay, this is completely out there. There’s nothing left to work with from the show and this is all new now. Later in the year or probably 2013? I’m not sure, but that’s when I watched my first cammed version of Q and then later finally got a hold of a good copy of the movie after it was released in Blue-Ray in Japan and people uploaded it on Pirate Bay. Q is the one that made me feel and think the most. I even wrote like a five page interpretation I still have around somewhere.
In the years since the Final just kept getting delayed. I watched the first 3 Rebuilds over and over. They were like my feel good movies that made me feel something strong during some very hard years of life. Last year I spent the entire year thinking COVID would take me before I’d get to watch the Final film as it got pushed back two more times, released in Japan finally and then the loooong wait to the US release in THREE HOURS!!!
IT’S FINALLY HERE. I’ve literally dreamed of watching it and seeing it finally including last night hahhaha! I’m so happy!! I CANT FUCKING WAIT IM SO READY!!1
#evangelion#neon genesis evangelion#end of evangelion#thoughtz and feelingz#rebuild of evangelion#gainax#studio khara
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OSRR: 2560
after i wrote my post last night, i did not get to go back to bed. joel had sprawled all over the entire goddamn bed, and no matter how much i tried, he would not budge. frustrated to tears because of the driving and the exhaustion, i took blooper and a pillow and snatched the thin top blanket off the bed and curled on the floor, desperate to be comfortable and get some rest.
it didn't come.
around 6am, about three hours after i plopped myself on the floor, joel woke up and rolled over the edge of the bed, looking for me. he asked if he pushed me off. i said yes. he moved. i could've cried from how grateful i was.
but then my shoulder and back hurt so i couldn't get to sleep for a while anyway because i couldn't get comfortable. so i got about two hours of sleep.
because at 9:12am, lisa called joel and told him that she and john were going to breakfast. so i got up, threw on my bra and leggings, realized the other reason i couldn't sleep last night was because it was too fucking hot and turned the AC temp down, and headed out to breakfast that the hotel had. it was good.
the wedding was okay. the ceremony was sweet, but the chairs were packed together too tightly to be comfortable, and it was too quiet for so many guests.
and then i spent the reception trying to figure out why i was unhappy with it. it was legend of zelda-themed, or it was supposed to be. but there were no decorations in the tent. no character. the centerpieces were hard with little balls hanging inside like navi, but they were poorly constructed. there were three banners up. one strand of poorly-spaced decorations behind the head table. and three paper triforces hanging, one from each pole in the tent. yes, this tent was 40x80. there were probably 200 people in attendance. this reception was a huge fucking ordeal, and probably cost fifteen thousand dollars, and they still didn't put in the money for the small details. i was upset. if i'd had that budget and if i'd been the one to plan their wedding, it would be lively and have so much character and it would've been what a big legend of zelda-themed wedding should've looked like. i was salty the whole time. but at least i got to sit with joel and renee.
we sat in the only part of the tent that didn't have ventilation of some sort. it was 88° today. that sucked. the rolls were good. the cash bar was good. the food was alright. the cupcakes were weird flavors. the best thing i ate, besides the stack of eggs and the stack of waffles from breakfast this morning, was the fried i kidnapped off of the chicken tenders plate we got for joel. the potatoes on the "adult" plates were decent, but the green beans were a little undercooked and cold, and the marinade on the beef tasted funky, along with it being undercooked.
so i kinda milked the time i was there for everything i could. i have a condiment cup to prove it.
me, joel, and renee ended up leaving early-ish. we came back and just chilled out, and the two of them went to play d&d with john and i stayed here in the room to try and work on my paper. that didn't really go so well. so i ended up going and sitting in on the small session they had going on. it was fun to listen.
came back, picked some stuff, and now i'm in bed, ready to catch up on the sleep i didn't get last night.
and then i got to briefly talk to FF before i logged off of discord, and wish them a good day because they have a dog show to be in today. they're sweet.
i'm still self-conscious as fuck, but today it was a little better.
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creator appreciation tag
tagged by @someawkwardprose, thank you ruairidh <3
RULES: It’s time to love yourselves! choose your 5 (ish) favorite works you created in the past year (fics, art, edits, etc.) and link them below to reflect on the amazing things you brought into the world in 2020. Tag as many writers/artists/etc. as you want (fan or original) so we can spread the love and link each other to awesome works.
fool's gold, 32,859: This is the longest fic I’ve ever written (along with @princess-of-the-worlds) and I’m so so proud of it - it took months and we literally put our hearts and souls into working on this. We went into more detail about why we wrote this fic in the beginning notes but it was a really amazing experience to get to write/learn about my own culture.
the hands on the clock keep ticking, 10,235: this was first fic I wrote explicitly about Gwen and Ianto friendship which made me dive headfirst into my Gwen Ianto friendship bullshit. I wrote it in a span of two days between the hours of 1am and 5am, and I think it was the first fic I was truly proud of. Maybe one day I’ll finally finish the coda/sequel to it.
Parallel Equilibrium, 11549: my first casefic! I made up a scenario in my head one day and then I took about two weeks to finish it. I needed like three drafts and about a million edits but I’m really happy with the way it came out.
forever, and what comes after, 10,028: another casefic, this time set in my coe fix it series: These Happy Days. Again, needed many edits but I’m so happy with the finished result (thank you cj and nik skjdfd)
sink your feet into the mud (and I'll return, 3,404: wrote it at 12am for a halloween fest on the night before halloween, I really like the way I’ve written it. It’s a coe fix it with Gwen and Ianto friendship (obviously) and I think it came out quite well.
bonus fic (because I have to plug this one at some point): Derailed, 16,386, WIP, but I’m hoping to have the last chapter out soon: I think this is the second fic I ever wrote, and it’s very different from my other fics (it’s a complete au) and although it’s not done yet, I am so close to finishing!
cool well thank you for tagging me ruairidh, tagging @princess-of-the-worlds, @thirteeninafez, @iianto-jones, @ultraviolet-eucatastrophe, but absolutely no pressure, don’t bother doing it if you don’t want to!
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