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restlesswritingss · 3 months

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In which Astarion rejects Tav

or Tav gets hanahaki disease

dedicated to @bubblegumbitchs-world thank you for the request :* let me know if you’d like this written a different way i am here to please you sire!!

Warnings: Body horror, I got a little carried away with the idea of flower blooming in someone’s chest sorry sorry

Disclaimer: IDK much about the true order of events in the game sorry is all over the place!

Astarion had flat out rejected Tav. It had stung. He wasn't delicate with it either. Sneering at the idea of sex with them and then laughing about it. Tav had shrugged it off, hoping he couldn't see the tears starting to leak out as they realized their romantic feelings were not at all reciprocated. It was just a crush, it would pass. But then it didn't. It got so much worse.

Tav had tried to keep their relationship with Astarion platonic, pushing their feelings down. Every time he sat next to them they tried to ignore the way their skin flushed and their heartbeat sped up. He had to know what he was doing.

Astarion was fully aware of what he was doing. He was toying with Tav's blatant crush on him. It was useful to have the group's fearless leader develop a soft spot for him. Unfortunately, he hadn't thought of that before rejecting them with little tact. It hadn't seemed to dull their desires for him, thank the gods. He needed to be better about planning his schemes. He was lucky they still let him drink from them.

But things had gotten strained between them. Tav was behaving strangely and their was something off in their blood. It now tasted slightly, floral. Curious. He missed the sweet taste.

Tav had also been steeling off more for time alone. Astarion saw the pain in their eyes and feared he was taking this teasing a bit too far, he needed to reel them back in. Throw them a bone.

Something was wrong inside of Tav's chest. At first they thought it was just congestion, they'd been travelling in the cold for a while and it wouldn't be out of the question. But then the blood started coming. It hurt, ripped through their throat as they coughed and coughed hoping it would bring some relief.

They were going to go to Shadowheart, finally fed up with the unrelenting pain when a flower petal came out with the blood. Horror and embarrassment filled Tav. They knew what this was. It was a disease whispered about and used to make tragic romance stories more dramatic. Tav had never considered they'd get it.

Did they really love Astarion? It hadn't even been six months since they'd found him after the crash and he'd held a knife to their throat. Sure, they thought of him all the time and felt more alive than they had ever felt when in his presence, but was that love? The proof was staring at them in the blood covered petals they had just vomited up on the forest floor.

This disease also had another factor that didn't surprise Tav but still hurt to have confirmed so . . . viscerally. Unrequited love caused this. Astarion didn't love Tav back. Hells he barely even liked them.

Hunched over and away from camp, Tav took deep breaths to calm their racing heart as they weighed their options. This condition was deadly if left untreated and it could only be treated by the love being requited, out of the question, or surgery. Ok, surgery was doable. They could speak with Volo. He'd offered to remove the mind flayer through surgery, an offer Tav was still pissed none of their companions had allowed them to take, surely he could remove this.

With one last body racking cough, Tav wiped the blood from the mouth and stood up to make way back to the camp before anyone noticed their prolonged absence. Their chest still burned, they could feel the petals forming and pushing against their ribcage. Rubbing at the spot the pain was most prominent, they began to trudge back to camp.

Astarion had been eyeing the spot of forest Tav had disappeared to. He was sitting outside his tent trying to seem casual with a book in his lap but his gaze hadn't left the spot Tav was last visible. Worry began to worm its way into his chest, an uncomfortable feeling. Tav was slowly endearing themselves to him. They respected his rejection and never pushed him, something he had not expected. He hadn't thought his telling them he didn't want to have sex with them that night would quell any further advancement. It was nice that his no had been respected. He hadn't been respected in centuries.

Tav was also just so annoyingly kind and while at first it grated him beyond belief, as that kindness was turned toward him he saw its appeal. This friendship where they never pushed him for a spot in his bedroll was surprisingly nice. It was slowly making him want more, an ironic development.

His train of thought was halted by the smell of Tav's blood hitting him. Tav was bleeding. The thought rang out in his head as Astarion stood and practically sprinted towards them.

Tav was halfway back when Astarion ran up on them. At first their heart fluttered at the idea that he had noticed their absence, but then another coughing fit hit them. A bodily reminder that they didn't mean to him what he meant to them.

Astarion panicked at the blood seeping from Tav's mouth. He bounded to them, grabbing their facing gently as he tried to examine their face. Was it a cut in their mouth or internal bleeding?

"Tav what happened? Where are you hurt?" His voice filled with panic.

Tav meant something to him, a surprising revelation. He felt their pain in his own chest as they met his eyes. A tenderness Astarion had forgotten his was capable of came out as Tav's eyes filled with tears. His thumbs rubbed up and down their cheeks in an effort to catch the tear tracks and soothing noises came from his mouth. Astarion had no control over it, his body's desperation to comfort this person an uncontainable thing. But this wasn't just a person, this was Tav. Tav who was willing to fight for him, respect him, and care for him in ways he didn't even deserve before he was turned into a damned undead thing of the night.

"When did this injury happen dear?" Astarion's voice was a whisper soaked in a saccharine feeling he wouldn't name.

A cough racked through Tav and they ducked away from him. Astarion smelled the blood as it poured from their mouth. Tav doubled over moaning, "Please go back to camp, I don't want you to see me like this."

Astarion scoffed. They'd seen his fucking scars but he couldn't see them sick? How unfair and hypocritical. Tav knew nearly everything about him from how Cazador had tortured him to how he had been forced to use his body for his master's gain. He knew most of Tav's own story, but this mistrust in him and unwillingness to be as open as they had made him stirred familiar feelings of hatred and contempt in him. This was easier. He leaned into it.

"Fine," he spat holding up his hands and taking a step back, "die alone and in the forest for all I care. I just thought you'd allow me to help you after you pulled every deep dark secret out of me. I suppose gathering information of people while keeping your own secrets under lock and key is just how you manipulate us all into following you as our benevolent leader."

Tav looked up at him at that. He knew exactly where to aim his dagger to fatally wound their heart. Tav had never felt assured in their role as the leader of this ragtag group and him confirming their fears about themselves was the worst thing he could say to Tav.

Before they could respond their body was overcome by another bought of coughing. Something came out along with the blood and Astarion forgot his anger. Tav fell to their knees and clawed at their chest.

"Shit!" Astarion yelled as he knelt down next to Tav, once again reaching for them assessing for injury.

"Please tell me what's wrong, I'll take you to Shadowheart. Please Tav," Astarion didn't know what he was pleading for anymore.

Tav looked up at him again, blood pooling from their mouth. They coughed again and spit out a petal. What the fuck? Astarion went to pick it up and examine it but Tav grabbed his wrist. He looked into Tav's eyes and saw such desperation it made him want to vomit. What was wrong with them? He wanted his annoying yet charmingly cheerful companion back.

"Go away please," Tav begged.

"Why? Why won't you let me help you?" Astarion grabbed Tav by the shoulders to hold them up as he seethed.

Tav just shook their head and tried to hold in their cough. Blood began to dribble out of both sides of their mouth, running down their chin. Their eyes rolled back in their head. Tav finally coughed and opened their mouth, petals soaked in their blood sliding out.

Astarion had no idea what was wrong with them and that made him panic harder. Tav's body started to go slack. He easily caught them and lifted them into his arms. He cradled their head into his chest as coughs continued to rack through their body.

Tav wanted to apologize for getting blood and petals all over his shirt but their voice wouldn't come. It was getting harder and harder to breath. Their vision was going black around the edges.

Astarion felt Tav's body getting weaker and weaker. He sprinted back to the camp screaming desperately for Shadowheart. It wasn't his proudest moment, he completely lost his composure. At least it terrified everyone enough to get Tav immediate help.

Shadowheart couldn't treat them, nothing was working. She'd cast some spells that allowed them to sleep and made the coughing die down a bit, but they still looked deathly. No one knew what the petals they were hacking up were. Gale had taken one to his tent for examination. They deduced it must be some sort of fungal infection but no one knew how to fucking fix it. They were all useless and he told them as much.

Astarion was the only one who sat with Tav all night. Holding their hand, wiping the sweat off their forehead, and speaking soothing words whenever they stirred awake. They mumbled his name whenever that happened and it made his chest constrict.

He had vowed long ago to never beg, plead, or pray ever again. It had never done him any good. But tonight he broke that vow, pleading with any god he could with the same desperation he used to pray for release from Cazador. But now he was praying for Tav. Begging for salvation, for them to open their eyes and smile shyly under his gaze. He needed to hear their voice, he needed them be ok.

He needed Tav.

The realization hit him like a truck. He wasn’t supposed to care for them, hells he’d been planning to seduce them and manipulate their feelings for him. This feeling was never part of any of his half-baked plans. But here it was.

As Astarion sat having an internal crisis, the pain in Tav’s chest began to ease. The pressure on their ribcage began to recede. The blooming flowers began to curl inward and disappear.

Tav awoke gasping for air as the passage finally cleared. They clawed at their chest once more, spasming a bit on the bedroll as they searched for the pain that was no longer there.

Astarion was on them in an instant, hovering and assessing what was wrong. He’d shrieked again for Shadowheart fearing this was the end of this person he’d only just realized he held affections for.

But when Tav sat up with ease and laughed, Astarion lunged for them. He meant it to be more malicious, he was still furious with them, but his arms just engulfed them in a hug. Clutching them to his chest, Astarion didn’t even register the tears of relief falling as he was too engrossed in the sound of their breathing and steady heartbeat.

Tab gripped him just as hard as they realized they were completely cured. The disease was gone without a trace. Their lungs felt better than ever. And Astarion loved them. He loved them. What a magical thing that was.

A/N: This took forever bc my niece gave me the gift of illness for Christmas love her though! Let me know what you think, I’ve never read a hanahaki disease fic before this request so I hope I did the iconic trope justice. <3

#astarion x reader #astarion x tav

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eternal-kosmo-ghoul · 6 months

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AS MY TREAT I WANT THE MOST SILLY, GOOFY AAA HCS OF THE PAPA'S.

Like idk Copia used to have to wear earplugs because Terzo snores so loudly it's literally obnoxious or something like that.

“aww my middle finger likes you”

❤︎ synopsis — this is pure bullshittery and crack in its finest form with the papas. they can be a little crazy at times

pairing: all papa emeritus’ x gn!reader (can be platonic or romantic)

theme: crack ✦ , fluff ✿ (if you squint)

a/n: this is a toast to my bestie for being an absolute chad. i was high making these, enjoy.

cw: terzo is a warning enough on his own. that’s it.

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➵ papa primo

he’s the oldest so he constantly has to deal with the shit from his psychopathic brothers

like— primo is basically THE mom friend, except he’s the mom for moe, larry and curly over here

(moe, larry and curly being secondo, terzo and copia)

he constantly had to hold back secondo from beating the shit out of terzo because terzo made fun of him for being bald

“I’M GONNA RIP OFF YOUR WEAVE—“ “SECONDO NO—“

bro unironically listens to weezer

like full out busting down a just dance move to this music

you once caught him dancing to it, and he stood there frozen like the man emoji

he told you to never speak of it again and you just nodded, trying to plague your mind of that horrendous image

primo cannot cook for shit too btw

you were once out and asked him to make something before you got home to the ministry

the minute you walked in the door, the kitchen stove was on fire and all of primo’s ghouls were running around and screaming in infernal about the fire

meanwhile, primo stood there not knowing what to do, looking like the man emoji AGAIN

it’s basically his trademark at this point

“…. primo what the absolute fuck—“ “it wasn’t me i swear.”

while primo’s ghouls were still learning english, he once said “fuck you” to you in a very sarcastic way

but the ghouls thought it was how humans said “hello” in english

so they went around to the other siblings of sin, and sister imperator saying “fuck you” to them while leaving all those poor people offended and dumbfounded

you smacked the back of his head after that and forced him to apologize to his ghouls and to the siblings of sin (plus imperator of course)

and he gave the ghouls extra scritches too

primo also has the dad sneeze

like he can send another universe to the next tomorrow with his goofy ass sneeze

he once sneezed so loud he scared copia and caused him to bang his head on the wall

it was kinda funny tbh

anyways yeah note to self stay 10000 feet away from primo if he’s on the verge of sneezing

it’ll save your life

┅✦┅

➵ papa secondo

secondo has two moods

“oh my satan you’re all so stupid i literally hate you all” and “tee hee i’m a girly girl”

like ??? what’s this guy on???

this guy has the sass of a high school history teacher

like secondo’s being so deadass about whatever he’s saying but he’s always fucking saying it like—

“c’mon now, you literally have the style of a hairless roach 💅”

it confuses you a lot of the time, really

secondo has his moments where he’s sweet, but for the most part he’s pulling up the middle finger to everyone he sees

it’s a habit

someone could say hi to him in the nicest way possible and he’ll just grumble and flip them off

it’s not even that he’s trying to be mean, it’s a habit (a very bad habit)

you once got tired of it and smacked his hand, when he flipped you off. so it’s safe to say he no longer does it

at least to you

secondo is an absolute menace to his brothers

with primo he’s chill because he’s the eldest, but with the younger two he’s got no chill

definitely made copia cry at some point during his younger years

he later got his ass chewed out by you and primo, because no one makes copia cry

secondo’s literally so bossy it’s kinda funny

he’s always one flip flop away from smacking someone every time someone pisses him off

him and terzo are BEEFING all the time

and it’s over the stupidest shit too

“you’re stupid.” “well, you’re face is stupid” “you’re both stupid, end of the discussion.”

you once switched out all of his skull face paint for a pink barbie pallet

so secondo was walking around lookin’ like hello kitty emeritus and everyone was trying so hard not to laugh

even his ghouls were struggling too

“… secondo—“ “not. another. word.”

┅✦┅

➵ papa terzo

bro’s the fuckin’ definition of fruity

you thought secondo was girly pop?? wait ‘till you see terzo, he’s fucking extravagant

will literally show up in the grocery store lookin’ like a character ripped straight from criminal minds

like— he has to make a show EVERYWHERE he goes. he likes to stand out

terzo is also the type of man to wear skirts and dresses because he knows he’s hot shit and he devours every fit he puts together

he shows off that waist frfr

“… terzo what the fuck—“ “shut up you know i’m sexy and i’m going to show it.”

if you wear skirts or dresses he’ll definitely ask to borrow them

he definitely passed down his fruitiness to copia

and to his ghouls

he scams kids on adopt me and has a good laugh every time because he likes to see people get mad at him since he stole their hella expensive pet from them

primo told him to quit it because what kind of satanic pope scams poor little children on a roblox game?

as stylish as terzo is, he cannot do his hair and makeup to save his life

he’ll usually ask you to do it for him wherever he has to perform or do public events, which is why his face paint is simple compared to secondo and primo

it gives you two bonding time though and it’s cute

he once watched the pinkie pie smile hd video and was traumatized for a few days

like he straight up locked himself in his room and would not come out unless you convinced him to do so

during an after party after a concert ritual, he got so wasted and almost kissed omega

like you had to PRY this man off of the poor ghoul, while omega stood there unaffected (hehe tall buff demon boy)

terzo is the shortest emeritus and none of his brothers will let him live it down

ESPECIALLY copia, since he’s younger than him

terzo almost kicked him in the nuts because of that

but that definitely was a stab to his already massive ego

you reassured him that there’s nothing wrong with his height even though you found some of the jokes his brothers made funny

live laugh love terzo

┅✦┅

➵ papa copia

copia doesn’t know what he’s doing half of the time

like he’s just given a mic and he just wings a performance while the ghouls on stage are fucking around and going absolutely feral

out of all the papas, copia legitimately treats his ghouls like his own kids

he feels like he’s getting more grey hairs every time he has to stop swiss from fucking his own guitar, or sodo and phantom from fighting about cheese sticks

you sometimes help copia do ghoul-sitting and it’s just chaos. you’re literally their second parent

copia and you = parent duo for the era iv ghouls

he unironically owns a lot of funko pops

and he keeps the one of himself on a special pedestal in a glass case for safe keeping

though secondo almost once knocked over the case and he was three seconds away from smiting a bitch

you once were looking for copia because you wanted to ask him something and you found him in a ritual room

except the ritual was that he surrounded himself with a bunch of rat plushies and he was on his knees in front of a picture of a rat with a tiny crown

you were so confused, and he refuses to acknowledge what that was

“…. copia i—“ “you didn’t see anything.”

he fucking washes himself with dish soap and laundry detergent

this man is going around smelling like dawn dish soap and it’s so weird

it’s not that it even smells bad??? it just smells so interesting and strong you swear you’re in a fever dream

copia is an avid mitski fan

definitely cried his eyes out like a little bitch when he first listened to “the land is inhospitable and so are we” because he couldn’t get over how sad “my love mine all mine was”

radiates theater kid energy

but like— the kind of theater kid that is just passionate about theater and is very giddy when people ask about it

when he started his first meeting as papa he got so nervous that he straight up started the meeting with the word “mushroom”

like it’s so random ??? but it made the ghouls and you giggle so it somewhat worked out ??

copia is a little silly

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#ghost bc #ghost fanfiction #papa emeritus x reader #papa x reader #papa primo #papa secondo #papa terzo #papa copia #copia x reader #terzo x reader #primo x reader #secondo x reader #crack fic #crack headcanons #ghost bc crack #the band ghost #ghost x reader #ghost bc x reader

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loserlvrss · 2 months

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꒰ 𝐆𝐎𝐍𝐄 ꒱ 이민호

summary : it's coming up on your boyfriends' death anniversary, and something's finally telling you to let go

genre : angst, minho x afab!reader tws : angst, death, grief, depression, various substance abuse, mentioned suicide, various suicidal thoughts, very slight reference to religion author notes : maybe i cried idk word count : 3.4k

skin to skin. it’s what most humans crave. the contact and warmth of someone; romantically, familiar, platonically. all humans are the same. we are designed to crave a comfort since birth, to form connections beyond intellect. we look for anyone and everyone who could fill that desire… and when abandoned, nothing will ever feel like enough.

“you’d never leave me, right?” you said, tracing small circles on the tan skin of your boyfriend, whomst you love with your entire heart. he was everything to you, and you him, “you’ll stay with me forever, right?”

you bounced lightly as he chuckled, “of course,” you felt his hand grip your bare side harder, “forever.”

“promise me.” you held up a pinky, and his eye cracked open at the shade behind his lids.

he stroked your side gently as he brought his other hand up, locking his smallest finger with yours, “i promise, y/n.”

the bitter reality hit as your eyes opened. you couldn't figure out the time, and honestly you didn't want to check. the void of color in your room — life — was enough to always put a dampen on your spirit, and ultimately, day. you turned over, and for it being a relatively good dream, you were drenched in sweat. you reached across the bed, the sheets wrinkled where you hadn't been sleeping. but, you were alone, and it sunk whatever was left of your heart.

you grumbled, borderline whined as you turned over. you don't know why there was an actual pain shooting throughout your body. you don't know why the impending desire to just lay there until the end of time consumed you. you don't know why your eyes teared up, creating a watercolor painting against the dimmed colors of your room.

you don't know why you were always questioning what was real and fake nowadays. you could've been caught up in a nightmare — you figured you could wake up any moment and not feel this jaded in your everyday life — but it never subsided.

you didn't want people to tell you that everything would all be okay. you didn't want people to tell you that depression passes. you didn't need anyone to know that what you felt right now was less than human. you didn't need the memories to remind you of what can't be washed away; of what you can't get back. you didn't want to lose those moments in time though, like you had lost the real thing, because it was all you had left, but knowing that you couldn't make any more felt like ripping stitches.

it was acid on a never healing wound knowing that peace was something you only felt when asleep. and the only way you got to sleep nowadays was with the aid of various drugs.

it was an unhealthy habit. a struggle you knew shouldn't feel as good as it did. but a vice is still a vice whether it has that name or not.

your hand reached to the side table, finding your phone and ultimately leaving it face down. you continued to search until your hand found a rattling bottle — an orange pill bottle — that peers would say you practically lived off of. and you did. only ever feeling remotely like yourself when a couple were thrown to the back of your throat to dissolve into your bloodstream.

you truthfully didn't know the dose you were supposed to be taking, everything dulled down by your seemingly never ending high — you never being sober because it was too hard to — and you definitely didn't know why your psychologist kept prescribing them. maybe she had no idea that you were on the edge of a cliff, just desperate for an excuse to topple off it, but you found it hard to believe that she was that bad at her job.

you felt like you were just a lifeless vessel being controlled by the fumes clouding your brain. yet, if you wanted to stop, you would, right? it wasn't an addiction if it was willing, was it?

maybe. but truthfully your secondhand high was too strong for you to care. so, you lit up another carelessly thrown about blunt, inhaling the smoke until you were completely numb. until you couldn't feel your fingertips. until you couldn't form a coherent thought.

until you couldn't remember why you wanted to die, too.

you trudged the scene your bedroom was in: clothes, packages, bottles and other miscellaneous things littering the hardwood. despite being alive, you felt like you were drowning. a physical sting in your chest. a deep sigh that never escaped your lips. you were walking on broken glass with every step, but the pain would never be comparable to the turmoil you already find yourself in.

if this wasn't hell, you didn't want to know what was.

you never turned on any lights, the windows being covered by curtains 24/7. you could see through the flimsy fabric that the sun was barely still up, or maybe it was just gracing the sky with its' presence. you didn't know, and if you didn't have to make a living in a capitalist society, you wouldn't care either.

you would be contempt living (more like going about) your day inside the confines of your home. sure, you hated being alone, especially with your thoughts, but you were never truly alone; haunted by the ghosts that paint your walls in a dark shade of red; and you were never sober enough to think anymore.

never letting yourself feel the gravity of grief, quoted from your therapist, is not allowing you to receive closure, to heal from the loss of someone you gave your entire heart too.

however, closure, in your fucked up mind, meant forgetting. and as much as it pained you, chained you down in the depths, you couldn't let go of the memories. even if you ended up dead because of them. at least, you thought there was a chance you'd be able to meet again that way.

you weren't in denial, like your all-knowing doctor seems to think. no, you knew what happened. you remember it clearly despite trying your hardest to cloud it out. you couldn't be going through the stages of grief if they never changed — they couldn't even be considered stages if they've turned into your despised lifestyle.

you loved, but hated the never changing facial expression. you loved, but hated the liquid that made you so slurred. you loved, but hated the fact that someone you couldn't have left you with the door wide open. you loved, but hated knowing that maybe you weren't good enough to make him want to stay. you loved, but hated that you are still so in love with him when he's, where? if he could see you in this state, would he be able to say that he once loved you too? if he could see you crying every night, dressed in the clothes of his that you have yet to wash, would he still think that out was the only way in?

he was your everything, even after everything had ended.

so, why weren't you his last thought? why didn't he even have the decency to write you a letter in embodiment of his dying wish? why couldn't he just give you the answers you used to so desperately yearn for? even in death, he had to be the selfish one. wasn't leaving enough? you didn't know.

but, it's been 12 months.

those answers never came, and now you didn't expect them to magically appear. not after you tore apart your entire apartment, inch by inch, crevice by crevice, coming up empty like it was a cruel fucking joke. like you were a rat trapped in a cage, on the hunt for cheese that was behind an unreachable wall.

you used to wonder if you had done something differently, complained less, listened more, would he not just be the rain that splotched your skin.

it's as if the sky was mocking you. as if it's asking if you really had the audacity to be upset with something you couldn't control.

but you were only half alive, barely half a mind to think of anything rational when your stability was ripped from under you like it was just a flimsy rug to being with.

you were free falling, and you never learned how to fly.

“y/n,” your eyes tried focusing as best they could, but the flashing lights were making your head spin more than it should, “we have to check inventory before opening. the boss said someone’s been stealing — and we’re not accusing you because we know what you take.”

the woman in front of you, your coworker of a couple years brought her hand to rest against your forehead. “are you okay? you seems worse than normal.”

“u-uh, yeah.” she eyed you in disbelief, “i’m good.”

you weren’t, but you still followed her behind the bar to crouch down and count the bottles. you’d probably use most of them anyways, as tonight was always the busiest of the week.

truth is, you weren’t even sure what number you were on when you fell onto your butt, catching your coworkers attention. the booming music making your chest bounce with the bass, and the in-time lights spinning and flashing and changing was throwing you off.

even if you were crossed, you’ve never had a problem getting your work done. you could even fight back the nausea, the discomfort and dizziness that it caused your body — but today, today was different.

you weren’t in-tune with anything. not being able to beat the funk. even when you tried to stand back up, you put your hand on a bunch of napkins, slipping and falling right back to the ground. it was frustrating, borderline humiliating. even as she tried to help you up out of the good in her heart.

you felt tears brimming, “y/n. it’s okay, let’s just get up. i can take inventory. you seem like you need to rest for a little bit before opening.”

stupid, useless, unbelievable.

why couldn’t today just go the way it was supposed to? you kept wondering if this was a cruel joke. today of all days had to be the worst on top of everything it stood for. it had to be someone’s doing. and whoever’s been controlling your life must’ve been one sick individual.

you, at least, hoped they were happy in your misery.

you huffed, forcing yourself onto your knees, hands splayed over them. you looked at the bones of your knuckles, wondering how hard one had to hit to get knocked out — you were always better unconscious than conscious.

then, your eyes set on a clear bottle. it was filled to the brim with a blue liquid that you didn’t even bother to read before pulling it off the shelf. you opened it and took a long swig. when you finally put it down, your coworker had a horrified look on her face.

you gave the bottle up easily when she reached for it, “y/n… what’s the matter with you today? you need help. seriously, i’m so sick of you fucking everything up!” she grabbed at your hands, trying to get you to stand up, but you were too heavy for her to even begin to move; a dead weight, if you will. “oh my god, get up! all you do is get high and throw a pity party! how long is this going to be? how do you even live like this?”

it was a question you heard often. how do you even live like this? but they didn’t know living would be such a painstakingly long journey. sure, maybe they were only asking because they cared, because they were genuinely curious, but you had no answer.

and you feared you never would.

was living truly worse than dying? all signs would point to yes. maybe he had the right idea after all…

you heard whispering above you, “it’s his death anniversary today, j-just — let’s just send her home. we can deal with it tonight, right? customers aren’t going to want to see her drinking their drinks. help me get her up. she’s miserable.”

you felt like you had lost all control — seemingly having none to begin with — you got up on your own, something within possessing you, and stumbled to the door.

maybe your coworker was right. maybe you do fuck everything up. maybe you were miserable. maybe that’s why you’re here and he’s not. maybe that’s why you can’t seem to grasp the sand that keeps slipping through your fingers. maybe you were better off with the same fate as the one you loved so dearly. maybe the depression would finally consume you, like your therapist said it would if you didn’t intervene, like you’ve been praying day and night for.

you wanted to die, but you always thought it would’ve been in his arms.

now, you were cold. a wondering spirit searching for the only thing that could set them free; and what you feared is knowing that that thing wasn’t something that you’d ever find.

you swear you could feel a hand on you. a grip on your shoulder that kept pulling you back. but maybe that was your diagnosis of trauma-induced hallucinations. because truthfully, your derealization and depersonalization had gotten so bad your doctor thought about prescribing you anti-psychotics.

however, you’d have to un-ghost your psychiatrist for that to ever happen.

your breathing was labored, the earth spinning too quickly for your liking. you tried to blink away the blurriness, but the sky was also too bright, despite the rain, making you squint.

it seemed everything was retaliating all at once. it’s said karma catches up with bad people, and were you finally falling victim to it?

no, you were just falling.

falling so hard that you can’t even remember what happened next. did you pass out after hitting your head on the concrete? did you die? you could only hope for so much.

your eyes opened, but the world seemed different, colorful once again; a dusty orange hue to the air. you looked around confused as to how you ended up back in your room.

did someone find you? so you hadn’t hit your head hard enough to die; maybe next time, you thought.

you looked to your feet as they left wet footprints behind on a clean floor. all of your boyfriend’s clothes were folded nicely on the bed, as if someone had just washed them. it no longer smelled of mildew and various rotting substances. you couldn’t even find the couple grams that were on your nightstand this morning. but there was also another smell wafting through the air; a smell of tea and cherry blossoms.

much like that night 12 months ago.

the night everything in your world had come crashing down upon you. the night you lost every part of yourself to the grim reaper. the night you lost the game you thought you were winning. the night you lost the only love of your life.

the night minho, your boyfriend of six years, committed suicide.

he left you to relive every waking moment without him like life was a cruel fucking joke on you. left you with the pitiful looks friend and family would give you. left you with funeral preparations and arrangements. left you with heaps of chrysanthemums. left you to weep as the cherry blossoms fell from the trees and snow from the sky.

he left you in every season, and you never knew why.

you never knew why the radio static sounded like him. never knew why the smoke would bounce off his silhouette. never knew why you prayed to someone who clearly wasn’t real — who clearly didn’t care to hear your pleas — but, god did it bother you once you’d figured out you wasted all that time. you never knew the why of a lot of questions, and it left you feeling nothing but empty; numb; jaded; hallow; anything that spelled out that you were just a walking corpse with very low cognitive recognition.

you found it hard to believe he loved you as much as he did. but if face-to-face, you’d forget that thought ever crossed your mind, because at the end of the day you were beyond devoted to him. he was your soulmate, and you’d find him in any lifetime, you were sure of it.

so, why couldn’t you let go? why couldn’t you do yourself the favor and move on? whether that be in this or the next life. why couldn’t you follow his lead and find him once again.

maybe you would finally awake from this torturous nightmare —

“minho?” you all but shouted out against the gentle breeze of an opened window, “minho? are you there? is that you?”

you heard the pattern of steps on wood, soon met with the face you’d not grown to forget. he looked confused, concerned at your obvious state of disbelief, “are you okay, baby?”

you felt his hands on you, watching as they slowly followed the length of your arms, finally pulling you into his chest.

you wanted to ask how, but you know that you only ever see him when you’re high. but you didn’t feel high right now; and you obviously knew what it would feel like if you were, after abusing anything you could get your hands on for a year.

you wanted to come up with any excuse, but the very real scent of his cologne (that had faded from his hoodies after a couple months) filled your nostrils. you felt comforted, which hasn’t been something you felt for what seemed like decades. minho was the only one who brought you solace, but he had left you. so how was he — no, how were you here right now?

god, you must’ve finally hit your wall. you must’ve finally found the breaking point and flew past it. you had finally gone insane, that was the only real explanation you could come up with.

your therapist said it would happen if you didn’t quit, but why would you ever listen to her? hell, maybe you should’ve. but, if this was insane maybe you didn’t really mind being enclosed in his arms.

but it felt wrong. how could you spend months of your precious life grieving the fact that he was dead, if he’s hugging you right now? how could you spend all your time getting high enough to not feel sad if he was right here in front of you?

his flesh felt real, but so did the ache in your heart.

“h-how?” he hummed, not entirely hearing what you said. you pushed him back, but the grip on your forearms remained, “how are you he-here? how are you alive? y-you killed yourself, minho.”

he seemed confused, a slight smile still adorning his features though, like he couldn’t believe the prank you were playing on him. but to you, he looked so real, just as you couldn’t erase from your memory — a snapshot in time that you captured oh-so-long ago.

“you’re dead, i-i was there. i buried you!” the room seemed to lose all color — like it’d been splashed with arctic water, a shiver running up your spine — which once had an orange hue, was now a dark shade of blue, like the depths of the ocean.

his face lost the smile, ice lacing his fingertips almost like he had been deep in the dirt rotting away. “i found you minho. i-i tried to save you but it didn’t work! i tried, i swear i did, b-but,” tears brimmed your eyes, quickly making their way in valleys down your cheeks. your voice was weak, but you hadn’t used it much in the last year anyways, “you were dead, minho! the emt’s pronounced you dead at the scene. y-you’re not real. y-you left me. i watched them put you in the ground. i cried for hours, minho! i stayed with you for days. i prayed to a fucking god i don’t believe in to make you come back to me! i only ever saw you inside my head, when i wished upon every star it was real! minho, you’re gone.”

his words were a push to the knife that only ever danced upon your skin, never plunging and never drawing blood, “then, why won’t you let me go?”

reblogs, likes and comments are greatly appreciated! thank u!

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justmy-account · 3 months

Text

Stranger things updates from this week

january 15th-21st 2024

Monday 15th

No new updates.

Tuesday 16th

Noah Schnapp made a video where he said that people misunderstood his actions and that he wants peace, and he doesn’t wants innocent people to be killed.

Wednesday 17th

rip long haired mike

we got these photos, where we can see Mike, Dustin(who’s wearing the same outfit as on the bts photo from last week),and few jocks(i think the same ones as in s4). most likely, dustin got into fight with the jocks for still wearing hellfire shirt, and mike went to help him? kinda reminds me the last time mike and dustin had to stood up against bullies, right?

they were filming in school cafeteria and on the field

there are also some leaks of the set from bird perspective

Thursday 18th

Friday 19th

New pictures from Ross Duffer’s instagram

these bts were absolutely craaazy, but the real crazy is abt to come

mileven truthers believe it’s a romantic scene, bylers think it’s a break up/coming out scene/or just something platonic

but

there’s more

someone filmed this scene(i can’t put it here, idk why), and you can clearly see mike’s/finn’s face

of course, milevens and bylers hat very different interpretations of this leak. i see it as a platonic conversation, we can lip read the word “friends” many times.

also very blurry photos of joyce and hopper

Saturday 20th

someone on twitter was saying that they know how st end, that they’re from production or sth, and they were saying things like who is gonna die etc. the possibilities of this being true are very low

Sunday 21st

nothing

#stranger things #stranger things 5 #stranger things spoilers #st spoilers #st5 spoilers #stranger things 5 spoilers #st bts #byler #mike wheeler

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holdontwstistakingovermymind · 2 years

Text

MC's Neverending Sleep Overs

Hello I am back again. I decided to continue the little sleep over post. Make it big. This is like, before the relationship of Polyam!Mc. They aren't dating yet but it's flirtatious.

I hope you enjoyed! Idk how I feel about the flow, but I want to write a more platonic version and a more romantic version.

If you liked this and are able to, please consider contributing to my Ko-fi! No pressure though.

♡

In the beginning the dorm was a lot more empty than you felt comfortable with.

Yeah, sure, you liked your space. In fact, one could say you were ecstatic to learn you got to have your own space despite quite literally showing up out of no where. However, that's all you can actually keep up with in such a large dormitory.

Besides your room, the small bathroom you use, and the living area -all of which had seen better days- the rest of the house started off as a mystery to you. One you were a bit to scared to actually solve

(^This was mostly due to your fear of what you may find hidden behind the many doors of Ramshackle, as well as your desperate desire to avoid the ghosts at all costs.)

It didn't remain that way for very long though, as soon you were being joined by the first years of Heartslabyul, who were starting to be thrown out of their own dorm at an alarming rate.

Ace pretty much spent his first two weeks sleeping on the dorm's ratty old couch, sometimes having to fight Deuce for the position whenever the other began to rebel.

When Cater (or one of the Caters, you weren't ever too sure of who you were talking to at first) started showing up just to "check in" on the freshmen, you knew things had to change.

"Stop showing up at my dorm uninvited!"

No one actually acknowledges your rage, but you let it slide. There's a lot going on and honestly you're more concerned with learning potions then keeping Ace from stealing your good blankets.

And besides, with all the time you invested in making the tart for the dorm leader, be should be out of your hair soon enough, right?

That's what you were thinking, up until Riddle overblots.

In those moments you don't think you'll be making it back to the dorm period.

Fortunately you were wrong, but the event was so jarring that nightmare begin to haunt you everytime you drift off.

You quickly come to miss Ace and Deuce's presence.

And you learn quickly that they miss yours as well! Both for varying reasons, of course, but it quickly returns to that familiar state before Riddle's breakdown. One where you couldn't shake them even if you tried.

Cater comes by a lot more now too. At first he used to make up an excuse to stop by -then crash- but he gave up on that excuse rather quickly. He definitely sleeps in his dorm uniform half the time.

^Or at least, whatever he is wearing. Definitely the type to sleep in jeans whenever he's feeling too tired to get pajamas on

Trey visits with food (and Riddle, occasionally. He's still a little embarrassed about the whole rampage overblot thing) but doesn't find himself joining in the sleepover often.

When he does though he always makes everyone clean up their messes. What a king.

Jack is the next to join your merry band.

He doesn't often spend the night -only coming over when needed- and he's usually gone before you wake up.

He might be your favorite tbh.

(Around this time you also start to get the occasional visit from the tweels and Kalim. They never stay, but both parties are far too nosey to ignore such a large gathering)

It stays this way for a while whilst you attempt to sort out the whole issue with Leona.

Riddle only starts joining the crew after the whole savanaclaw incident.

This is mostly because his shame has kinda melted away since he's no longer the only one who has lost control. Also because Leona has no shame and immediately claims your couch afterwards. Rip.

From here it really just spirals.

The most common visitors are usually the first years.

Epel comes to escape Vil, Deuce and Ace have just decided your dorm is their home, and Jack tends to show up out of fear someone is going to do something stupid. He's usually right.

(Sebek is the odd man out here. He'll come over during the day but he's got a stick up his ass most the time.)

Rook and Vil do not sleep over. However, Rook will usually join in the morning to get (you) ready. Probably video chats with Vil the whole time. Epel is in hell.

Idia doesn't come over ever but Ortho does on occasion. You'd think people would be calmer with the android child around but for some reason that just creates more chaos.

Lilia has a habit of just sleeping places and it scares nearly everyone. Malleus finds it funny.

Crowley occasionally shows up to look for people because your dorm has become the Lost and Found for students.

Azul never comes into your room and has only stayed the the night maybe once or twice. Never at the same time as Leona though and he's usually incredibly nervous.

The tweels will come into your room and they will go through your stuff. They have no care whatsoever.

Everyone else is fairly respectful. But Pomefiore and Diasomnia are full of judgy brats that will subtly question your home. Thankv goodness most of them are not everyday visitors.

Jamil and Deuce seem like the type that will just start cleaning absentmindedly when they start to recognize some place as one they like to be in. Which you are incredibly thankful for. Deuce especially since he was not helpful at first.

Kalim always likes to try and make every night less of a sleep over and more of a slumber party. This is never good.

^ Reasons why: 1) Ruggie has been banned from playing Simon says because everytime he is Simon he makes people copy him, so that they lose. 2) Sebek always throws a hissy fit at the commotion whilst his emo dorm stands in the corner watching the chaos 3) Floyd has bitten someone during twister 4) MC has broken down crying at midnight multiple times because they just want to sleep and now the music club is doing karaoke.

But when everyone leaves for vacation, admittedly you do miss the chaos.

Oh well just gives Grim more room to bug you

#heartslabyul x reader #twst x reader #savanaclaw x reader #pomefiore #twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland x reader #octavinelle #heartslabyul #savanaclaw #ignihyde #twst headcanons #twst diasomnia #twst #twst fanfic #twst yuu #disney twisted wonderland #x reader #friends to lovers

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slexenskee · 7 months

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can i ask for any details about the hotd/jjk fic?

you mean aside from this lil WIP snippet?

I think I'm gonna call it "Write myself out of the history books" a line from All Time Low to match the rest of my 'Dropping Gojo into fandoms he didn't ask to be in' works 😂

His name is Soren and let's just pretend its Valyrian when in actuality it's just one of my favorite Fire Emblem characters (I feel like Gojo would appreciate that though, prolly a Soren stan himself lol)

His dragon hatches in his crib and idk I headcanon that Rhaenyra would wait to let him name it himself because she probably did the same with Syrax? But then 2 yr-old Gojo is like 'her name is Blue Eyes White Dragon' and Rheanyra is like 'wtf no' and also, this is why you shouldn't let kids name their own damn dragons. Rhaenyra refuses to let him name his dragon after what she doesn't realize is a Yu-gi-oh card, and in they settle for Sylvion, which she thinks is just some obscure Valyrian word/reference his 'Uncle' Daemon taught him, but is in fact a Pokemon that bears striking resemblance to his dragon. It's one of Dreamfyre's eggs, mostly bright white, with blue accents and some slight pink in the membranes, hence, Sylvion. Which is also Gojo's favorite pokemon, so he's two for two with references in this life.

He knows damn well that Daemon is not his Uncle, and they (Rhaenyra, Daemon, Laenor) all know he knows even if they collectively don't acknowledge it. He's Daemon and Rhaenyra's 'accidental brothel baby' that she had to get shotgun wedding'd to Laenor for, which is why he's much older than canon-Jace.

The age gaps are: Satoru/Soren (0), Aegon (+2), Helaena (-1), Aemond (-2), Jace (-3), Luke (-4) idk if Joff or Daeron will be in this.

Aegon is in love with him literally at first sight. He's going to PINE FOREVER. Like so much angst when he realizes he doesn't just adore his nephew in a purely platonic sense - which his mother/grandfather already dislike - but is in fact homosexually and audaciously in love with him lol. He definitely tries to fuck himself out of his own gayness, which absolutely does not work, esp when he starts ending up gravitating to regular female whores to male whores who all bear a striking resemblance to his nephew.

Does Gojo know? Hmm yes but not really. It doesn't even cross his mind even though he is also very gay, and also knows incest is casually a normal thing in the Valyrian family. But to him, Aegon is his uncle, and also a man in a 'don't say gay' world, so he kind of intentionally doesn't look too deeply into it. He does notice Egg is very attached to him, but he's not sure how much of that is familial and platonic and just Egg's very handsy personality versus romantic. They played a lot together as kids, slept in the same bed etc back when they were young enough it didn't mean anything, and obviously Gojo never felt that way about what he thought was a 'cute sticky dumpling of a kid who thinks he hung the moon' so it'll be a longgg and difficult shift for him to see Egg in any other way.

Aemond worships him in a strictly platonic sense that totally feeds his god complex. Gojo is literally the warrior reborn to him. He's a one man army and everyone knows it and he's so out of any mortal's league instead of being jealous about it Aemond just straight up adores him like a god. Daemon and Laena don't get together in this fic (RIP Baela and Rhaena) so Laena is still alive and has Vhagar, so idk maybe Aemond has Vermithor.

On a related note, everyone worships him as a god (or a Valyrian devil, *ahem* Hightowers *ahem*) bc to them he may as well be one. He has all his OG powers, he's invincible and untouchable and literally unstoppable. He achieves infamy the world over during Stepstones Round 2 where he absolutely obliterates an entire army and a few islands besides. He straight up asks his 'grandfather' Corlys if he should just eradicate the whole island chain and permanently solve the problem. Of course, the story gets convoluted with the whole medieval 'he said she said' chain of communication so there are plenty of non-believers still. LOL jokes on them.

He adores Rhaenyra. Like he likes Laenor a lot, and is partial to his little brothers (yes Jace and Luke exist, idk if they're Laenor's or Daemon's yet tho. They would't be Harwins bc Rhaenyra took one look at Gojo and was like 'shit he's 100% Valyrian its gonna look weird as hell if his siblings dont look like him at all') and has a soft spot for his 'Uncle' Daemon, but the reason he even bothers to stick around and not just fuck off to Essos to raise his own empire is because of her. I headcanon Gojo to have zero relationship with his parents in JJK - which unfortunately is expected from 'the patriarch' aka his father, but deeply hurt him in regards to his mother, who also cared nothing for him. Yes total double standard, but that's patriarchy for you. Anyway Rhaenyra is the opposite - she cherishes him from day 1, and whether that's because she truly loved him at first sight or just loved the idea of a child of hers and Daemon's who knows. But she doted on him and took care of him in a way anomalous for mother's in Westeros, and Gojo always took note of that. He'd burn the world for her - or in this instance, cower it into submission so she can have her throne in peace.

He doesn't mind playing the 'radiant prince' for her, being the faultless and impossibly perfect heir to the throne, because he knows it strengthens her claim immeasurably when his achievements so obviously outshine her direct competitor (Egg, who in fact does not give a shite about the throne and just wants to run away on his dragon with Soren). He even quietly submits himself to the idea of taking a wife because he knows that's also expected of him, although he plans on copying Laenor and having some threesome magic going on. Will that have to come to pass though? Hmm idk yet

THERE WILL BE ZOMBIES. No Night King, but I absolutely believe that Gojo accidentally would become the Prince who was Promised. His birth once again upsets the balance of yet another world, and shifts events into motion that would have laid dormant otherwise. Does he bring magic back into world with his birth? That would be interesting. Idk yet tho.

I also believe in the Maester conspiracy, so that might be in this fic too

#HOTD fanfic #jujutsu kaisen fanfic #gojo satoru

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the-s1lly-corner · 5 months

Note

can i req jax x reader angst? o-(-( been brainrotting on this idea for so long now; jax goes a little overboard with his joke or prank and reader gets upset by it.. but he doesnt really approach reader to say sorry for a while because he doesnt really know how to? so it worsens the situation? thank uuu!!!!

Severed ties (jax x reader)

There will be NO!!!! Comfort here!!! I want pain!!

Written this as platonic !!

Not proof read and written on mobile!! Yahoo!!

Honestly I love writing angstier stuff, like

Idk I like exploring the topic and the feelings

Jac in general does not seem like the type of person to apologize. It hurts his pride and ego, and really in his eyes everything he does is "all in good fun", or as a means to entertain... himself, mostly

What, is he supposed to apologize because his little joke made someone upset? That's his thought process, I think. Like unless there are huge consequences or he is actively trying to better himself I really don't think he would give a sincere apology, you know?

Like imma be so real here, I know I usually portray jax as a prankster but so far he's worse than that. He has pushed gangle at least twice (in the pilot, and in her tailer), he stepped on her mask and knowing him I wouldnt be surprised if it was on purpose. He just. Ripped zoobles arm off (like yeah sure it doesnt look like it hurts and it can be reattached, but its the idea that he just disrespects them like that), throwing a bowling ball at kinger, ect ect ect

Like I think I down play how mean jax can be

I think a lot of this is caused by the digital world; given that hes probably gotten way too comfortable with the fact you cant get severely injured in the digital world or hahe any long lasting physical damage, you know?

Anyways onto the actual request

I think it's less likely to happen if this is a romantic relationship because I think at that point in time you guys respect each other enough to not be goofy and communicate stuff. As well as this, this prompts jax to try to tone it down.. can also see this happening if you guys are close friends

So really this can only happen if you guys are only like. Normal level friends, because otherwise jax at least learns remorse and tries to be less. Uehdjcf.. you know?

Like I love jax as a character and I enjoy writing him but I'm realizing just how assholish he is based on the pilot

Honestly to be friends with jax you're going to have to be able to have some kind of tolerance to his more tame everyday stuff... imma be nice and assuming the stuff he does above isnt in his usual league of asshole-ness... or maybe it is? I dunno

But some prank he pulls goes too far, and he laughs at you. Probably takes to down play it if you're actually upset, trying to dismiss it as a good ol fashion joke

If he gives an apology it's a half assed one

This leads to you not talking to him as much anymore, if at all

In fact, you may even go as far as to avoiding him during IHAs

And you know what

At first he thinks you're just being sour over his little practical joke

But overtime as you continue to bold your ground he starts to... actually feel bad

And if he does ever sincerely apologize, its likely two late

That's also assuming you dont abstract before then

God can you imagine that, I mean what's worse? Never being able to apologize because the person is effectively dead, or apologizing and not being forgiven?

I think this would push jax to try to tone down his antics

Like he wont totally stop, but it will definitely go back to the light hearted fun I like to headcannon it being when he first joined the circus.. before it got all.. meaner..

Boredom does terrible things to someone and given that the consequences of losing your mind in this place are huge.. I can't help but understand jax a little, assuming my headcannon is correct

Though again he might just be an asshole

While your friendship may be dead and buried now, at least jax learned a lesson that actions do in fact have consequences

And hopefully it sticks

#tadc x reader #the amazing digital circus x reader #digital circus x reader #jax x you #jax x reader #jax imagine

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yuriririn · 4 months

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Us, On the Last Month of the Year

A/N: Happy New Year! Finally, a fic for my bias. It's mostly rushed and IDK how I was able to not post this before the year ended but here it is anyway.

Also, of course, I wrote this on my phone within just 30 minutes because honestly this wasn't something I was planning on making. I have like 5 stories pending for TXT and Enha but oh well~

NP: Huling Sandali (Tayo sa Huling Buwan ng Taon) by December Avenue

PAIRING | Choi Soobin x Female Reader

WC | 983 words

GENRE | fluff; f2l (duh)

WARNINGS | None

SYNOPSIS | Maybe it was him all along and even if it was obvious for everyone else, it wasn't for you.

"Happy birthday, Soob." you take his hand as you sat on the swing. It was exactly 12 midnight, December 5th, 2023.

Soobin smiled, circling his thumb on the back of your hand, around your knuckles, his eyes on yours sending a chill down your spine. It was an electrifying feeling, something you've felt before but haven't really acknowledged all these years.

It was the 10th birthday of his you've spent together and the familiarity of it all made you feel warm, a sense of security you only feel when you're with him. It was his birthday but it was you who felt like you were reborn, on this day, like something awakened in you, only now, just when he turned 23. He's been an adult for a while and you too. You spent an entire childhood together, witnessed each other's puberty, and went through the early stages of adulthood, but tonight was something new. You have memorized his every feature being so close to him countless of times though now was different. Physically, you've been closer before, sitting on the couch as you watched anime together, sometimes even chest to chest on the train during the rush hours, one time even nose to nose under your dining table hiding from your parents for when he was being asked to come home after spending an entire play day with you.

Soobin and you. Best friends forever you vowed on his 16th birthday. It has been years since that promise and you've kept it to this day. Now, hand in hand on the swing but at arm's length, you felt like this is the closest you've ever been with him. You looked at each other for a second, but it felt like eternities in his eyes.

Was he always this handsome? Did his eyes always glint this way when he talked about his favorite movies? Were his lips always this plump as he smiled, as he pouted? Did his nose always have that line in the middle that resembled a confused little rabbit? Was his skin always this smooth, and was he always this pale? Were his hands always this gigantic as it held yours? You knew he had dimples, but were they always this deep? Was he always this cute? Did he always have this effect on you?

You don't know at what point of the night and at which part in the midst of this friendship you crossed the thin line of being platonic to romantic. It was always just a tiptoe away, a teeny-tiny push from friends to lovers but never did you think of crossing it because the mere thought of losing him as a friend when you meet your inevitable break up (if you do decide to date at an early time) dreaded you like it was a life sentence. It was the curse you had to live with to keep him by your side.

"Thanks, Y/N." he said, still never letting go, still holding onto that grip you initiated when you plucked up the courage to jump; to painfully rip the friendship tape off of your chest that covered your undying, unplatonic love for him. He loved you, adored you, endured every relationship you guys ever had that wasn't with each other. All that for this very moment, the day you decided to finally break out of that shell and dive into the pool of love.

"I love you, Soobin." your breath was visible in the cold night air. You've said this to him before, but never in this way. And he immediately knew the difference.

The temperature was low but your adrenaline was high. You have never been this brave and you regret the days where you thought you were at your most courageous because Soobin was always your source of strength, the walking talking post of hope, and all-encompassing security blanket you needed when you were afraid. He supported you all your life but you knew this was something you had to confess on your own. It was to him, for him, after all.

His eyes widen in shock, and you were ready to take back your hand, run away, and never speak to him again. The creeping possibility of a rejection rang loud inside your head and it was all you could hear.

But instead of a rejection, you see a smile. You see the gorgeous smile you've always seen before but this time full of relief, affirmation, and happiness. Back then Soobin always showed you how happy he was but he couldn't hide the look of longingness in the way he saw you smile for another. However, tonight, his smile was perfect. He was perfect.

"I love you, Y/N." he chuckled, and you could have sworn you saw his eyes water. "I love you as a woman, as my anchor, a lover, and a best friend."

All these years of being so dense and oblivious to how you felt towards each other came crashing down with just one night, one confession, one hand to hold, and just weeks before the year, your 10th year together ended.

You couldn't believe he was finally yours, and he couldn't believe you were finally his. On the last month of the year, on his birthday, you share your first kiss with your one true love, your rock, your everything, your best friend.

#blog #kpop #kpop bg #kpop boys #tomorrow x together #txt #soobin #choi soobin #txt fluff #txt fanfic #tomorrow by together #soobin x reader #soobin x y/n #soobin x you

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disaster-caster · 2 months

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i need more mitsuru and akihiko loving each other platonically like. they need each other! they love each other! akihiko looks to mitsuru for guidance, mitsuru looks to him for comfort and reassurance. she helps him put his thoughts and feelings into words, he helps her feel alright about her emotions and shows he it’s okay to externalize how she feels. when akishinji gets together by accident (one day they just kiss and then they just keep doing it) akihiko freaks out because holy shit what is happening and it’s mitsuru who is able to help him rationalize his feelings and shit. akihiko is the only member of SEES who has seen mitsuru rip her hair out in frustration or cry with anger. or cry in general. mitsuru has seen akihiko have a meltdown before and knows what triggers one. akihiko can see when mitsuru is starting to feel frustrated or down on herself even though she tries her best to hide the tells.

they’re SO important to each other. i love them both dearly. they love each other dearly. they are like. idk. i don’t see them as together romantically but man. they love each other

#akihiko sanada #mitsuru kirijo #persona 3 #p3 reload #persona series #send help send rescue all i think about is persona 3 #fucking. akihiko.#drops dead cutely

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yanderes-galore · 1 year

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ROTTMNT!Donnie with a Reader who went missing for a while, and is found as a mutant(idk something fluffy?) On the run from someone (up to you on who) but runs into him while trying to get away

Yeah! Sorry for the long wait-

Strange Reunion

Yandere! ROTTMNT! Donatello Short

Pairing: Romantic/Platonic

Possible Trigger Warnings: Gender-Neutral Darling, Obsession, Grieving Manipulation, Paranoia, Fear of abandonment, Forced companionship, Stalking, Invasion of privacy.

It hurts when you feel a friend has abandoned you. It hurts even more when you don’t even know why they stopped talking to you in the first place. Donatello felt every interaction he had with you was pleasant, he felt you two had a connection!

Then… you stopped picking up his calls. No one said they saw you. Even April, a human like you, said she hasn’t seen you recently. Such behavior could easily be considered suspicious, Donatello originally was starting to be upset that you were ignoring him. Then when he came to check in on your home…

You were just nowhere to be seen.

Donatello not only finds panic in this fact, but he’s also incredibly upset. The mutant has not had any sort of companionship like yours that made him feel so… needy. Just as he was getting used to your comfort, it was ripped away from him. It’s as though the world didn’t want him to have such nice things….

Perhaps it was a warning that his fixation over you was wrong, but that didn’t stop him.

His brothers are concerned for him when he doesn’t stop trying to track you. The soft shelled turtle is looking for all sorts of info. Security footage, tracking chips, drones, he’s using every bit of technological info he can get his hands on to find you. He can’t live without you….

It’s as though you disappeared off the face of the Earth….

Donatello feels as though something horrible happened to you, like you died and he couldn’t have stopped it. This causes the turtle to fall into an almost irreparable despair. His brothers try to help him through it, although Donatello doesn’t stay happy for long without you.

Just when he thought someone knew him… they were torn from him.

He’s barely even gotten over it by the time he meets a new mutant in town. A furred creature with… familiar eyes and a voice he seems to recognize. They nearly ran into him, apologizing. Donatello couldn’t stop himself when he muttered something from his lips.

“(Y/N)?”

Calling that name made the mutant pause, staring at Donatello with confusion before something clicked in their mind.

“Donnie?”

It was you… a fresh mutant. A mutant running away from someone…. How could he not use the opportunity?

“What’s wrong? Are you in danger!?”

“Yes- I don’t want to get you invol-”

“No! No, it’s fine. Come with me, it’s best we get you to the lair. It’s been awhile….”

“Fine… let’s go-”

That’s how he got you back to him. In some fated reunion, Donatello manages to bring you back to his home. In his eyes… this is where you belong anyways! The lair is big enough for you to live. Plus, who else would accept you other than a mutant like himself?

When you enter the lair, you’re greeted with familiar senses. Everything’s the same from when you were human… except Donnie’s area is a bit messy. Mostly due to him thinking you’re dead-

A fact he nervously revealed to you before embracing you tightly. He normally isn’t one for skin on skin contact, yet this was a special case. He really though he lost you-

He can’t lose you again if you never leave the lair, however.

Silently, Donatello thanks whoever was chasing you. If they hurt you, he’d end them. Although… now that you’re scared to go on the surface… all your attention will go to him!

This is the only safe place for you….

“Due to you now being a mutant, I welcome you to our family! The lair will be safe for you… No one will harm you here while I’m here.”

“You’re… okay with me living here with you?”

“Of course! The lair’s spacious I can easily make a room for you-”

“Thank you so much, Donnie!”

The turtle’s then engulfed in yet another hug, your fur tickling his skin in a comforting manner. He hesitantly hugs back… feeling content to just be in your arms again. You may be different now, yet he still cares for you.

He promises to make your stay at the lair the most pleasant experience ever! He uses all of his abilities to set up electronics, decorate, and make sure your little living space is exactly how you like it. Anything to make you feel safe.

Because if you feel safe… you won’t leave.

If you won’t leave… then he doesn't have to lose you!

Which means he’ll never have to be alone and experience the pain of losing the one he’s close to again.

#yandere rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #yandere rottmnt #yandere rottmnt donatello

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shwarmii · 9 months

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how can you like drunk angst over first kiss?? 🥺

anon is regarding this post here, specifically my tags

characters discussed belong to @dakotawritesif / @disenchantedif

omg, so easily lol

bc its not just drunk angst, it is drunk angst about knowing their ex is gonna DIE, UNNATURALLY, AND SOON and pining/having never made up with them

but also im an asmr/audio-roleplay connoisseur*, so like, uh, also the following here. yeah. this primes me up to LOVE drunk ex scenario regret/pining shit lol (you'll have to excuse all these audios being men btw, i have a soft spot for deep voices and there isnt many deep-voiced women VAs in the audio-roleplay community (unfortunately foR MEEEE UGHH), much less many that have a video involving this niche Drunk Ex trope anyway lmao rip (same with the audios all being either "for Anybody" or "for Females". i don't currently have any "for Males" in this niche, even tho im the type of enby that listens to all three types of "for [you]" audios. alas. boo hiss))

none of these are "Luci-Inserts" btw, moreso "Evidence of why OF COURSE I AM MORE HYPED FOR DRUNK HALLWAY OVER FIRST KISS", like a vision board kinda sorta lmao

When Your Ex Drunk Calls You (I Miss You) (Slurred Speech) (Funny) (ASMR) (M4A).. (Fun fact: this VA is Scottish. also M4A = Male For Anyone, not just M4M (male for male) or M4F (male for female))

(this one is by the same Scottish VA) When You Drink With Your Ex (Kissing) (Exes to Lovers) (Drunk) (Regret) (Wholesome) (M4A) (ASMR)

(more of this Scottish VA bc he makes me laugh) When Your Crush Drunkenly Confesses To You (Singing Idiot) (Taking Care Of Him) (Silly) (ASMR) (M4A) (bonus there is a morning-after part two to this one yay)

Your Drunk Best Friend Wants You Gor Valentines [M4A] [Tsundere] [Confession] [Sober Listener] (and this one has a part two about the morning-after too)

ASMR Voice: I Should Have Told You [M4A] [Drunk Voicemail] [Ex-boyfriend] [Missing you] [Regret]

Audio Roleplay for Women | "Orbit" | Drunken Confession

Audio RP: Your Ex-boyfriend Asks For Another Chance [M4A] (not drunk but i love this one) (also it has a part two as well yayyy)

this one ((M4A but he does say you have a "pretty face") bc i do like Luci being upset someone is going to hurt the MC) and this one ((M4F) because i like the frustration lmao rip) also fit the vibe but neither are drunk or exes lmao rip

like, you would think as someone who is chronically ill to the point that my meds say "absolutely no alcohol (and one used to say no weed, idk if im still on that one, id have to go check)" that i would not give a shit about drunk scenarios buT I DO LOVE IT IN FICTION SO MUCH. my irl friends also like getting drunk on/off, or high, and my forced sobriety due to meds (and also family history, let's be honest. i do come from a long line of addicts, apparently, best i dont get involved, and i never have been) means i get to play Designated Driver pretty often. so i do recognize some realities/fantasties in the scenario. but also, god, i love the trope because it allows for such forced vulnerabilities, i fucking love whump fics, and a drunk ex fic is really just a whump fic with no bruises

and, ngl, i do think it is more likely we will get a First Kiss pov somewhere down the line if it loses than i think we will get a Hallway pov if it loses

plus, they were like what, 10?? 11??? idk how old they were when Luci/MC got together. but i know these fuckers are fresh out of high school and Luci is getting drunk, which means biTCHES ARE UNDERAGE DRINKING (which is an interesting characterization for Luci that i think reveals a lot about the Rivera parents as well as Luci's connections to wealth/alcohol), so there is that drama of "hide, hide, hide!!" if nothing else

and, again, then there's not only the angst of "ah, my ex-partner and/or -best friend" and the wanting to make up platonically/romantically but there is also the angst of "i knOW YOU'RE GOING TO GET MURDERED SOON AND IM NOT READY TO GO TO YOUR FUNERAL BUT I DONT KNOW HOW TO STOP THIS" kind of "lost time", "call for rain-check until you can't" angle too. plus, i could see Luci being protective or frustrated or terrified, there are so many fun angles no matter the platonic/romantic additional feelings involved. and, because of how this pov works, there isnt going to be a kiss or anything happening. so it's just going to be slow-burn (to friends or lovers, idk your mc) and pining (platonic pining is a thing), i love that for me specifically lmao

but i do, like, get it. i get what you mean. if i thought this ask was mean-spirited, i wouldve deleted it and not answered; but i read this as "lol yeah that is fucked of me huh lmao you right". bc, YEAH, first kiss is romantic, drunk in your shared hallways is NOT lmao rip but i dont care if its romantic or not, i care that its making my guts get all twisted up. and the angst of (1) drunk ex that needs to taken care of (or needs to run away from you, either or) (2) thinks youre going to be murdered/in an accident and die soon and (3) may/may not still be in love with you and (4) knows they dont have enough time to reconcile with you and make-up for lost time... ngl, that is going to impact me more than a first kiss. im ready for the tragedy. fucking love this kinda shit

also i have my own hcs about my mc, Giselle "Gigi" Kraven, and Luci Rivera's first kiss. so. that probably also plays a role in all this bUT HEY!! IM STILL TRYING FOR THE 50/50 LMAO RIP WE ARE HELPING EACH OTHER, MY COMRADE 🤝 YOU GET (DOOMED) FLUFF AND I GET (ALSO DOOMED) DRUNK ANGST, THAT'S A WIN-WIN LOL

*i would like to add: i have no idea if any of these VAs have drama or something. i dont pay attention to the fandoms, except vaguely for Redacted Audios because of the theories and world-building happening there (which the video here doesnt have much to do with), but otherwise i am so fucking ignorant bc i do not look these people up, i just watch their videos. i have been burned too many times by the Steven Universe fandom and other such communities and whatnot to get involved in fandoms i am only casually into, so i just only stick my nose into fandoms/creators i am die-hard into and dont delve into the rest, thanks for understanding if i may be out of the loop ✌️

#shwarmi #me #disenchanted if #disenchanted #luci rivera #edit: ngl the Cardlin video (or however you spell his name) swuicks me out a bit bc he says ''[I miss] Your body..'' and i went #EW UGH GROSS GET AWAY FROM ME but it was two words so ill allow it to stay on the list bc not everybody is so anti towards the #idea of other people seeing them as sexy. gahh i hate being seen as sexually appealing. makes me wanna gag ugh #*squicks

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