#i’ll go first: secret door - arctic monkeys | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

ginnyweasely · 3 years

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DO I WANNA KNOW [DRACO MALFOY X READER]

pairing: draco malfoy x reader (fem!)

warnings: swearing, angsty, drinking, nothing else but just shit ton of angst oops

summary: draco and the reader are broken up and draco realizes his mistake too late, but is willing to do anything to make it up to the reader, even if it means telling the reader his dark secret

word count: 3.8k+

A/N: this is pt.2 of honest!! i’m so grateful for all of ur feedback on it and yall asked so you shall receive!! to so this is rlly based on do i wanna know by arctic monkeys cause i was listening to it while writing so it just happened!!

PART 1 (HONEST)

MASTERLIST / SEND REQUEST/ASKS HERE / TAGLIST

It had been exactly two months since Draco had last talked to you, two months since he had last seen you properly, two months since he felt your warm presence gracing his.

He was in his own personal hell, desperately seeking your touch, the sight of you, the sound of your pretty laughs filling the room, eyes glimmering as soon as yours met his, he was suffering even though he knew very well he had dug his own grave, dragging both of you into this mess.

Seeing you in the hallways, or catching glimpses of you in the common room, and in some classes wasn’t enough for him, he wanted to be able to be in your presence, be next to you, even if it meant you paid no mind to him or actively loathed him, because he knew you did loathe him, he could sense the dirty looks Pansy and Daphne actively gave him.

He didn’t blame you, he didn’t blame anyone else but himself, maybe he did blame a bit of it on his father, but no this was fully his fault, and he felt as though he had no choice but to suffer.

He had tried his hardest to not run after you that day, and he had done everything in him to not come to your dorm late at night, begging for forgiveness, crawling upon your feet to take him back, but the thought about even forgetting seemed impossible for him.

It had happened earlier that week when Draco came into the common room alone, sitting at one of the couches mindlessly, soon enough the sound of the gramophone in the common room catching his attention, he liked the tune at first and his foot slowly started to tap the ground, but seconds later, his mind drifted off, to where it was not supposed to, to you.

This happened a day later, same tune, you were still on his mind, and another day later… soon enough Draco found himself going to the common room at night, drunk out of his mind, with a bottle of fire whiskey in his hands, playing the tune while he thought about you, playing it on repeat for hours and hours…

This wasn’t really the only reason why he felt as though he couldn’t forget about you either, you were always appearing in his dreams, every week, every day, non stop.

And the worst of it all was that he would wake up from these dreams, expecting to find you laying on your back, your eyelashes resting on your cheeks, sleeping peacefully, but instead he would almost always be met with the blankness next to him, reminding him that his dreams were the only way he could have you.

It wasn’t any easy for you either. Draco was something you had never experienced before, first real love, first real feelings, first someone you planned a future with, it couldn’t have been easy to just erase someone like that.

Your mind was stuck on him all the time, you wanted to loathe him but at the same time there were too many feelings involved that you possibly couldn’t bare to hate him, it was hard for you the most at the first two weeks, as you always find yourself sobbing into your pillow whilst attempting to fall asleep.

But after the mark of two months, you seemed to be regaining your life back, the bubbly personality you once lost was starting to appear again, possibly with the help of Pansy and Daphne, hell even with the help of Blaise and even Crabbe and Goyle too.

᠃ ⚘᠂ ⚘ ˚ ⚘ ᠂ ⚘ ᠃ ᠃ ⚘᠂ ⚘ ˚ ⚘ ᠂ ⚘ ᠃ ᠃ ⚘᠂ ⚘ ˚ ⚘ ᠂ ⚘ ᠃

You were laying down on your bed quietly, mind wandering off to god knows where as a quiet tune could be heard in the background that you paid no attention to.

A knock on your door startled you as you were devouring the pages of the new book you acquired from the library, cautiously you went up to door as you weren’t expecting anyone to come.

Daphne and Pansy were supposed to be out tonight, doing god knows what with another pack of Slytherins, in the hopes of having a fun night, but you even though they had begged for you to come, rather wanted to spend the night in, still not feeling ready enough to participate in those sort of activities.

You opened the door knob hesitantly as you reached the door, as soon as you opened the door, you felt your stomach churn in the sight in front of you.

A very drunk, messy looking Draco stood there, looking as apologetic as ever, but your soft interior started to wear down as soon as you came back to your senses.

“What the hell are you doing here?” You asked rather not very calmly, as a drunk Draco hiccuped, his gaze fixated on you.

“C-can we talk…” He slurred as his eyes pointed to your room, wanting to be invited in. But you didn’t seem to be having it as you blocked his view and crossed your arms against your chest frustrated.

“Why on earth did you assume that I would want to talk to you?” You responded harshly as Draco’s eyes sorrowed at your now rigid stance.

His posture was fixed as his gaze was still on you, burning your skin with his seemingly but sharp looks, making you feel exposed in front of him.

He took a step closer towards you, almost stumbling as in doing so, “Please… I just want to talk.” He slurred his words again as a scent of fire whiskey hit your face, filling your senses with the smell of alcohol, your eyes never breaking contact with his, and your heart dropping as his face was inches away from yours.

“You’re drunk.” You stated firmly, your lips formed into a thin line, even though it was deeply killing you inside to be standing this close to him, his presence making you all kinds of fucked up in your stomach, as you couldn’t understand whether that was good or not.

A little chuckle escaped from his lips, “I can’t cope with it, Y/N…” He slurred painfully as your eyes slowly wandered towards the floor, not knowing how to look him in the eyes when hearing those words.

“I can’t… I can’t stop thinking about you, every fucking time I sleep, I see you, I dreamt about you nearly every time this week.” Your breath hitched at his words, your throat drying up quickly as your feelings for him coming back up in the seeming of seconds.

Draco didn’t seem like he was going to stop talking now, he cleared his throat, “I… I found this tune that makes me think of you, and I… I play it on repeat every night, when the fire whiskey painfully burns my throat, but I still don’t know what aches the most, my throat or the thought of you I can’t get out of my mind…” Draco confesses more out of truthfulness rather than drunk.

His grey eyes burning through your soft ones, feeling every emotion and agony he feels through his eyes, a breath of sigh escapes your mouth as you attempt to escape the affect he has on you by ruffling your hand through your hair nervously.

“I know I’ve had a few drinks and there… but every time, every fucking time I drink, anything at all, my mind drifts off to you immediately, searching for you intensely as it does so, it seems even my eyes crave you deeply.” Draco slurs again, a weak smile playing on his lips as he attempts to get closer to you, making you gulp hardly.

“You don’t even know what you’re saying, Draco…” You murmured as you coughed mainly to get yourself together as another chuckle came out of Draco’s mouth.

“But darling, isn’t that what the night were mainly made for? Saying things that you can’t say tomorrow?” Draco stumbled again in his place after his last words, leaving you no choice but to handle him.

“We are not going to talk Draco, I don’t want anything to do with you…” You announced ever so quietly as Draco frowned visibly, “However since I am an idiot, I can’t leave you like this… So as soon as you sober up, you’re going to go to your stupid dorm and you’re not going to come back here to me, you understand?” You asked rather harshly now as a drunk Draco nodded vigorously.

No matter what happened between you two, you knew that you would always have a soft spot for Draco, even though you seemed to “loathe” him now, a part of you could never turn him down when he was at his most vulnerable state.

You sighed as you let the mess of a boy in, taking away his flask and swapping it with a bottle of water, in attempts of sobering him up, and in attempts of trying to stop him from complimenting you, even though you were secretly enjoying him whispering sweet nothings to you.

᠃ ⚘᠂ ⚘ ˚ ⚘ ᠂ ⚘ ᠃ ᠃ ⚘᠂ ⚘ ˚ ⚘ ᠂ ⚘ ᠃ ᠃ ⚘᠂ ⚘ ˚ ⚘ ᠂ ⚘ ᠃

It had been a week from Draco showing up absolutely pissed drunk in your front door, a week since Pansy got mad at you for even attempting to let him in, a week since your head had been puzzled with the thoughts of Draco.

You sighed deeply as you dug into your food, taking a quick bite happily, “So you really are gonna reject him, Y/N?” Daphne asked nudging your shoulder as Blaise turned his attention to you.

“Reject who, exactly?” Blaise questioned curiously, probably to inform Draco, you sighed as your head shot up towards the Slytherin who was slowly leaving the table inches away from you.

“He asked me to go get some sweets and stuff at Hogsmeade.” You murmured as Blaise’s eyes widened, “And what did you say to him?” He asked curiously as you shook your head shyly, “I said no, I don’t know if I am ready for stuff like this…” You admitted sincerely as a sigh of relief came from Blaise’s mouth that you seemed to miss.

“At least come to the party tonight then, Y/N!” Pansy insisted as you shook your head uncomfortably, “Oh please you must!” Daphne added as a sigh left your lips quickly.

“I’ll think about it guys…” You said slowly as Daphne squealed in happiness, “Yes! This is gonna be so much fun.” She announced as Blaise gave you a sympathetic smile that you weakly returned.

᠃ ⚘᠂ ⚘ ˚ ⚘ ᠂ ⚘ ᠃ ᠃ ⚘᠂ ⚘ ˚ ⚘ ᠂ ⚘ ᠃ ᠃ ⚘᠂ ⚘ ˚ ⚘ ᠂ ⚘ ᠃

“Draco, I’ve got something to tell you!” Blaise called out after Draco but he didn’t seem to pay a mind as he kept rushing out, “Not now Blaise, I’ve got stuff to do.” Draco hissed basically but Blaise wasn’t interested in letting go.

“It’s important!” Blaise almost yelled as he was still attempting to catch up to Draco, but he still seemed to scoff as he kept on his walking pace, ignoring his own friend.

Blaise sighed in frustration, “Theodore asked Y/N out!” Blaise yelled out and Draco stopped dead in his tracks, freezing at the information he just heard.

Draco abruptly turned around as he quickly made his way around to Blaise, his eyes seemingly red from the fiery attitude, “What?” He questioned with a hint of rage in his tone, “What did she say?” Draco asked curiously as Blaise attempted his best to hide his smirk, knowing damn well that Draco was still very much in love with Y/N.

“Y/N said that she turned him down and she still didn’t feel ready for that sort of thing.” Blaise announced as the pit of nervousness disappeared from Draco’s stomach, relief entering his body quickly, he left out a sigh of breath.

Draco’s hands ruffled through his platinum hair out of stress, his head turned up in the direction of Blaise, “Uhh.. thanks Blaise, for telling me…” Draco said softly as Blaise nodded in return and just as he was about to leave Draco alone, he opened his mouth once again to speak.

“You should come to the Slytherin party tonight, everyone is going to be there, if you know what I mean…” Blaise announced implying you as Draco nodded understandingly, giving one last nod to Blaise as a thank you as he abruptly left.

Draco had arrived to the party in the hopes of seeing you, knowing what he was doing could very well be putting both of you in danger, but he had too… after what had Blaise said, after the encounter in your dorm…

The realization of losing you forever hit Draco like a wave, he was absolutely desperate to have you back, even though he was hiding it very well.

He had arrived with only the hopes of talking to you, or even catching a glimpse of you would be enough for him.

A huffed sigh escaped his pink lips as he wandered around the party, his eyes searching for you vigorously.

His hopes and dreams were however shattered in a second as he saw you standing near him.

Theodore Nott. A sudden wash of anger appeared in Draco’s face at the sight, his jaw was visibly clenched, and his hands formed into a fist as you laughed at one of Theodore’s jokes.

Draco was in absolute rage, as you were standing there looking as pretty as ever, and Theodore got to be the one who was making you laugh.

It used to be always him. Him standing next to you, him wrapping his arm around your waist securely, him who made you drunk giggle, him who always made sure you returned to your dorm safely after you became a drunken mess.

But right now it was all washed away as you were standing there with Theodore, because Draco had fucked up big time, and he knew it, but he still couldn’t let you two be all giggly in front of him, especially when he thought he had a chance to better things, even though he knew how selfish that was.

He stormed over to your side as quickly as possible, “Y/N?” He called out your name to what he intended to be soft but it was overwhelmingly harsh as you were startled by his presence and Theodore’s smirk had dropped.

You looked up over at Draco who seemed to be fuming, his eyes were washed away with anger and jealousy, and he threw the worst possible looks he ever could at Theodore.

“Draco?” You questioned confused, your lips were formed into a thin line, trying to look tough to Draco.

Theodore was also focused on Draco, trying to comprehend what even was happening, but soon enough Draco turned his attention to you, his eyes piercing through yours like a dagger.

“Sorry to interrupt, your little thing.” He mimicked sarcastically as you raised your eyebrows in shock, trying to comprehend why on earth Draco thought he could talk to you.

“I’m sorr-” Your words were interrupted by Draco’s quickly, “Goodbye, Theodore.” Draco announced turning his head over to him before he harshly grabbed your arm dragging you out of the party.

You couldn’t even fully comprehend what was happening in a quick moment as you were now standing outside of the party, with Draco standing in front of you.

“What the fuc-” You were about to almost yell but Draco sshed you quickly but softly. “Look please Y/N, just give me five minutes, five fucking minutes to explain myself.” Draco plead as you huffed quietly, knowing you would still have that soft spot for him that you hated yourself for.

“Nothing more than five minutes, not even one second more.” You crossed your arms against your chest as your lips formed into a thin line.

“Look Y/N… I.. Fuck.. I am so sorry… for everything… for the pain I put you through, for lying to you, for…” He murmured softly and you looked at him still a bit confused, waiting for him to continue.

“For lying to you about… telling you that I don’t love you, I-” He stuttered as your eyes widened at his confession.

“What?” You asked confused, wanting to know more as Draco’s head popped down ashamed, “What the fuck does that mean, Draco?” You questioned once again as a sigh escaped his lips.

“I.. I of course love you Y/N… How could I not? You’re the most amazing person I have ever met… the prettiest, smartest, kindest, not to mention the funniest…” Draco blabbered softly.

“The things… god the things I felt for you were unbelieveably real, so fucking real that the love I had for you scared me more than anything… You were like this fragile little thing that I ruined… I.. I’m so sorry…” He continued softly, but his voice was cracking now.

Your breath was caught in your throat at his words, realizing that Draco had lied to you about not loving you or breaking up with you for another reason, your heart beat was quickened, but firstly your anger took over without meaning to.

“What the fuck?” You growled loudly as Draco’s attention shifted to you.

“So I have been absolutely tearing myself apart for all these weeks for nothing?” You questioned angrily as Draco opened his mouth to speak but you weren’t going to let him talk.

“I have been crying and feeling like absolute shit and not enough for you because you decided to lie? Break up with me over nothing? What the fuck, Draco? Why the fuck would you do that?” You questioned further more angrily, but you could feel the tears forming in your eyes as your voice raised louder.

“No.. Y/N I did it because…” Draco stammered trying to defend himself, “You did it why exactly?” You insisted in rage.

“Because…” Draco murmured again as his head dropped down to the floor in shame, as you just watched his movement carefully, still confused.

His hand went over to his arm, slowly rolling his sleeve shakily, to reveal his dark mark.

A shocked gasp escaped your lips quickly as you immediately went closer to his side, feeling your lips tremble, as he was visibly uncomfortable.

“Draco…” His name left your mouth so concerned that he still didn’t have the courage to look up at you. “I.. I know… I didn’t… I didn’t want this, Y/N…” his whole demeanor was changed now as a scared, helpless Draco stood in front of you, and you could almost feel or hear your heart shatter.

“I.. I know you are going to hate me more, now… But I just, I wanted to distance myself from you, I wanted to make you hate me, because… I… I was scared something was going to happen to you…” His lips quivered softly as the words left his mouth, the pain he was feeling was so apparent to you that you could feel his words tug at your heart strings.

“Draco… I… I had no idea…” You murmured softly as Draco now finally looked up at you, he looked absolutely broken, his eyes were bloodshot, his posture was slouched, he looked like a mess.

Your eyes slowly bore into his, glimmering at the sight of him. “I… I could never hate you…” The words left your mouth slowly as Draco’s demeanor softened at your simple words.

“I… Shit, Draco, If I knew, I could… I could do my best to try and help you and be there…” But your words were interrupted by Draco’s.

“Y/N… It’s not your fault, it’s me… I fucked up everything…” Draco murmured as your eyes concernedly watches his movements.

“I ruined our relationship, just like I ruin everything!” Draco’s voice was higher in volume now as he frustratingly and angrily run his hands through his hair.

You immediately got closer to him as an attempt to calm him down, your arms wrapped around his back securely as an immediate response and Draco froze for a moment.

You could feel his stiff posture slowly soften as the tighter you hugged him, almost as if your touch had melted him, and just about a few seconds after, Draco’s arms immediately hugged around your waist, he nuzzled his head deep into your neck, a sigh of relief escaped his lips.

“I’m so sorry for everything… everything I put you through… every stupid thing I did… I don’t deserve you… I… You’re perfect… I love you… and I am just a stupid fuck up…” Draco murmured into your shoulder as he finally let go of the tears he had been holding onto.

A gut-wrenching sob escaped his lungs as your heart ached, you hugged him tighter to comfort him as he cried out in your shoulders, “Don’t say that, Draco…” You assured him quickly.

Your hands immediately found their way to his face as you leveled his head to meet yours, your hands were holding his face softly, “I love you, Draco… and I will always stand by you, if you will let me…” You reassured him delicately as Draco’s eyes softened.

“I… I’m so sorry…” He apologized again, pleading as you shook your head softly, “Just… please… please don’t lie to me and hide things from me… it absolutely shatters me to see you like this, Draco…” You spoke in a slow tone as Draco just watched you slowly.

“We’re going to get through this together, please Draco, let me be by your side, don’t push me away…” You pleaded as Draco’s firm lips seemed to ease into a little bit of a smile.

“I love you, Y/N…” Draco murmured softly. “I will never ever keep anything from you ever again, or ever try to push you away…” Draco continued softly now reassuring you as a smile played onto your lips.

You pulled his face closer to yours as you gave him a soft but passionate quick kiss on his lips, feeling his lips quirk up into a smile as you did so.

“Together?” Draco asked you as his eyes bored into yours lovingly, you nodded quickly, “Together.” The words left your mouth easily as Draco gave you a warm smile again.

The two of you walked to your dorms slowly, wanting to spend the lost time now together, the thought of Draco being a death eater of course was boggling with your mind as you knew this wouldn’t be something easy nor something simple to overcome, but you also deep down knew that, as long as you were together, everything would be just fine.

taglist: @beiahadid @dracosathenaeum @mischiefisbeingmanaged @minsuuwu @drxcomvlfx @abb-lan-5sos @azkabanlexi

#txt #draco malfoy #draco malfoy fic #draco malfoy x reader #draco malfoy oneshot #draco x y/n #draco x reader #draco imagine #draco malfoy imagine #slytherin #harry potter fanfiction #harry potter #draco fanfiction #draco angst #hogwarts

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glowcrizzle · 4 years

Audio

Today is the 1 year AO3 anniversary of Slow Show by @mia-ugly. I am beyond grateful that this experience (and it is an experience) has existed in my life for a year and felt it needed commemorating. 🎂

I’m not a creator but I made this playlist for me, so I could take the fic with me, have it with my eyes closed, while driving -- you get it. Today seems like an appropriate day to share it.

It’s a. It’s a lot. Excessive you might even say. Tumblr will only give you the first 100 songs in this, so, Spotify will fulfill you (or overwhelm you). If you hit my username on the playlist, there are separate playlists for each chapter.

This is also on Apple Music, if that’s your jam, just hit me up and I’ll send you the link.

🎉 Happy Slow Show Day!! 🎉

13 pages of track-lists and excerpts below the cut. Godspeed! 💙

Key:

Songs from Mia’s soundtrack

Songs from the Fic

--Title--

Slow Show – The National

--Prequel--

Loverman – Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds

Devils – Say Hi

--Chapter 1--

Here I Go Again – Whitesnake

bad guy – Billie Eilish

-trash a set and shag your husband

Something About You (ODESZA Remix) – Hayden James

-what it would take for Avery Fell to let his guard down

A Little Wicked – Valerie Broussard

-The handkerchief in his hand is now stained purple

You Light Me Up In the Dark – The Hounds Below

-His hair catches the light like a halo, making him look more of an angel than ever.

Lazarus – David Bowie

-This could be a problem

--Chapter 2--

Unsteady – X Ambassadors

-much easier than talking about the way his heartbeat is still racing

Heart of a Dog – The Kills

-Call me darling again.

The Twilight Hour - Still Corners

-Looked across the set and thought, Ah fuck me. I’m in love with him.

God’s Mistake – Tears for Fears

-Avery: He’s closed his eyes again, mouth going flat and still.

Lounge Act – Nirvana

-Tell her all the terrible things I want to do to her husband

Transatlanticism – Death Cab for Cutie

-There’s a strange urgency tonight, though, and Crowley can guess why.

Do I Wanna Know? – Arctic Monkeys

-What could it hurt?

Clueless – The Marias

-“Better - yeah. ‘S late.”

Motel – Meg Myers

-The hotel room is another disaster

--Chapter 3--

Alone in a Room – Asking Alexandria

-“I’m having a moment here!”

Since You’ve Been Around – Rosie Thomas

-makes Crowley feel like he can breathe again

Home Again – The Disco Biscuits

-It’s starting to feel like home again

Every Other Freckle – alt-J

-Perfect. Ridiculous and impossible and perfect.

Something For the Longing – The Orchids

As Far As I Can See – Phantogram

-it’s been a really, really long time

Sinister Kid – The Black Keys

-“Mothering buggering shit-”

All These Things That I’ve Done – The Killers

-Crowley fists one of his hands against his forehead, shuts his eyes tightly.

--Chapter 4--

I Like Me Better – Lauv

-I liked the outline of your face under the stagelights

I Do This for You (ft. Marlene) – Giorgio Moroder

-“Let me see what I can do. About your precious Hamlet.”

The Longing – Imelda May

-Avery POV: “Look at him like - like - you can’t let him see the way you look at him.”

Just a Man – Los Lobos

-Avery POV: like he’s being led into battle and not onto a set to do the job he loves

World In My Eyes – Depeche Mode

-wants to make that bastard purr

Tired (ft. Gavin James) – Alan Walker

-Let me be a magpie for you

Blow My Mind – The Benjamin Gate

-Avery: “I know you now.”

Breathe You in My Dreams – Trixie Whitley

-Crowley’s seen that expression on Avery’s face in his dreams

Love Me Like That (ft. Carly Rae Jepsen) – The Knocks

-What have I done to - oh. Oh. Right.

Like Real People Do - Hozier

-“Sure, angel, what- whatever.”

Clearly – Grace VanderWaal

-Crowley waits for the rest of the night.

Gwendel – PeelsDeen

-Az sits in the back seat, away from Crowley. Alone.

Now I’m In It – HAIM

-Avery POV: It’s a look like an open grave, a look like desire tempered with grief…

Flesh for Fantasy – Billy Idol

-Crowley isn’t lonely for the rest of the night

--Chapter 5 (Avery POV)--

Smalltown Boy – Rosborough

-1978, Hartlepool

Bright Horses – Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds

-1986, Newcastle Upon Tyne

The Runner – Foals

-1991, Bristol

Shock To Your System – Tegan and Sara

-Tracy: “Why d’you let them?”

Cracking Codes – Andrew Bird

-“Forever, of course. I’ll never -”

Colour me In – Damien Rice

-Their fingers - just touch. Slightly.

I’m Not in Love – 10cc

-Less to regret by not ever speaking of it.

--Chapter 6--

Electric Current – Lower Dens

-“I’ll let you know when you find it.”

Guess I Miss(ed) You – The Daylights

-Keep talking, keep him here a little while longer.

Reflecting Light – Sam Phillips

-“don’t meet his eyes like that, it looks like it’s a lead-in to a kiss”

King of Pain – The Police

-a good reminder of the kind of life he’s got to live

I Wanna Get Better – The Bleachers

-and Avery’s gaze is so gentle it hurts a bit

Feather – X Ambassadors

-Avery: “Someone has to”

Darker Side - Jonny Lang

-Avery: “Oh - good Lord.”

Firestone (Acoustic) – Conrad Sewell

-“Will you show me?”

Velvet Gloves and Spit - Timber Timbre

-“Anthony - ”

Wrong – Depeche Mode

-Avery: “I have to go.”

F**k it I love you – Lana Del Rey

-“Not your fault, angel”

--Chapter 7--

Somebody to Love – Queen

Heavenly – Cigarettes After Sex

-“I fucking still.”

Will Do - TV on the Radio

-“You too. I’ll see you there.”

Monster – Colours

-No wonder Avery ran off like a thief after a heist

Swallow My Pride – Ramones

-“I feel fucking ill about it.”

I Was Wrong - The Oh Hellos

-Avery: “I’m the one who has to apologize, not you.”

The Lost Art of Keeping a Secret – Queens of the Stone Age

-Avery: “Please don’t tell anyone”

Wait for Me – Kings of Leon

-Avery: “Right now, I’m just - a bit in pieces.”

Don’t Stay – X Ambassadors

-“You can - stay or leave or - whatever you like.”

The Moth - Aimee Mann

-Avery’s eyes meet his, and then it’s like a car accident

Red Door – Julien Baker

-“I can - I can wait longer.”

Can’t Pretend - Tom Odell

-“I wasn’t apologizing for that. This morning. I won’t.”

Come Down to Me – Saving Jane

-Avery: “You were wonderful”

Secret Smile – Semisonic

-And if sometimes he catches Az watching him between takes

I Want More - KALEO

-Az laces both of their hands together, stares at them.

I’m Gonna Do My Thing – Royal Deluxe

-“So don’t tell me what will hurt me. I know what hurts.”

--Chapter 8--

Perfect Day – Lou Reed

Remember to Breathe – Sturgil Simpson

-“You can’t sit in the car all night you absolute nightmare”

Wild Love (Acoustic) – James Bay

-The two of them stare at each other and then both look away awkwardly.

Seasons – Future Islands

-finally, fucking finally, he’s exactly where he wants to be

Closer – Tegan and Sara

-Avery: “if you like”

I Want All of You – The Verve Pipe

-“If you think I can survive this without looking at you -”

Use Me – Miguel

-whatever he sees in Crowley’s face makes him come to some sort of decision

So Much Love – Depeche Mode

-Love, he said love

Don’t Be Scared, I Love You – Bill Ryder-Jones

-I know you, Crowley wants to say, but doesn’t.

Become My Dream – Silya & The Sailors

-“Even if - anything, angel.”

I Belong In Your Arms – Chairlift

-For nearly two weeks it goes like this.

Faster - Matt Nathanson

-“You’re going to fucking kill me, angel -”

Come Together (feat. Sivu) – LAUREL

-In case you think they don’t wake up together

The High – Kelela

-Az has pulled a stool over to the edge of the tub

Just in Time – Valerie June

-Then Az’s hand is on his shoulder, turning him around.

I Can’t Take It – Tegan and Sara

-Avery: “Don’t rush, just - like this.”

Like This – Jake Scott

-Avery murmurs and it takes Crowley back to their first kiss

Terrible Love – The National

-Flinches away from him.

Help You Out - Emarosa

-And he nods.

--Chapter 9--

I Remember You – Ramones

-The first person Crowley loved was a liar.

Brighter Skies - Race Banyon

-As if they were cut with a jigsaw, as if they were meant to fit.

Not Tonight – Tegan and Sara

-When they reach the edge of the city, his hand slides out of Crowley’s.

As Sure as I Am – Crowded House

-So Crowley kisses him.

A Promise – Miriam Makeba

-And for awhile, he believed her.

Mistaken for Strangers – The National

-They’re only two small words, but they still make Crowley’s teeth ache.

Hey, That’s No Way To Say Goodbye – Leonard Cohen

-“Good-“ Swallow, speak, leave.

The Fear – Pulp

-Crowley should have been smarter this time. He really should have been.

Take Me – Leela James

-“I’d like you to close your blinds.”

Whenever You Want It – Clare Maguire

-“What do we do now?”

At My Weakest – James Arthur

-“It will be.”

Komm zurück - Fotos

-For years and years and years, nothing did.

Come on Get Higher – Matt Nathanson

-their feet sliding in the tub

Lay Down – Sarah Proctor

-I want to wake up with you.

Sort Of - Ingrid Michaelson

-Why is my heart breaking?

Fairytale of New York – The Pogues

-Just pump that shit straight into his veins.

What Are You Doing New Year’s Eve? – Ella Fitzgerald

-Avery: “What do you think?”

We’re Gonna Have A Real Good Time Together – The Velvet Underground

-“You want to grab dinner somewhere?”

Hiding – IAN SWEET

-Crowley stops walking. Looks at Az in the darkness.

Romance Dawn – Radkey

-A slice of light cuts through the darkness.

Crown of Love – Arcade Fire

-Crowley feels like the world has never been darker, and his heart will never stop beating

Devil’s Backbone – The Civil Wars

-He thought he was ready for this conversation, but at the sight of Az’s face, his throat has gotten too tight to speak.

Sinners – Lauren Aquilina

-“If this all goes down in flames, if it all falls apart - we can go off together.”

Please Forgive Me (Song of the Crow) – William Fitzsimmons

-Avery: “It’s over. I’m - I’m so sorry.”

Start a War – The National

-He twitches and trips and yet somehow manages to walk away without falling over.

Broken – Daley

-And this soft heartache was somehow the sharpest of them all.

--Chapter 10 (Avery POV)--

Daily Battles - Thom Yorke & Flea

-He tries to remember these things - but the background is still a chorus of beeping machines. There’s nowhere he can be but here.

Everybody Wants You - Red Hearse

-Go out and surround himself with people much more interesting and available than Avery. Better people, certainly.

A Thin Line – Blackchords

-But still - roads not taken, and other fun middle-aged spirals.

My Own Soul’s Warning - The Killers

-When was the last time someone asked Avery that? When was the last time he asked himself?

Who Am I - NEEDTOBREATHE

-I miss you. There. It didn’t hurt as much as he thought it would.

Wait for Me - Jack Curley

-What he wants to say is ‘don’t find someone else. Not yet. You and your black leather and your cut-glass profile: you’re gorgeous and God knows other people want you.’

Coming & Going – Amaal

-“Two ships passing in the night,” he says quietly. Then he takes a swallow of wine, lets it roll down his throat. “If you were here -”

Iron - Woodkid

-Crowley leaves him there, pressed against the wet brick wall. Crowley leaves him there. Crowley steps between Avery and a camera, and then leaves him.

The Greatest Bastard - Damien Rice

-He can’t be the person that kicks Crowley into the ashes again. He can’t hurt him like this, and Avery’s going to hurt him - he already has.

No Right to Love You – Rhys Lewis

-He deserves someone like - like Daniel. Deserves to be loved in the daylight.

If It’s Hurting You - Robbie Williams

-Time is a tricky business when you’re dying slowly; it skips like a flat stone on a quiet lake.

Happy For You – Gayle

-But surely - surely he’s allowed just this much. Just one message, just so Crowley knows that - that he’s happy for him. That Avery is so happy.

I See You (ICU) - Phoebe Bridgers

-When Avery sees Crowley on the red carpet, it feels like the sudden remembrance of a lovely dream.

Once In My Life - The Decemberists

-Crowley: “I know there’ve been some - hard times. That’s - that is what it is. But for me - it’s been a privilege. A dream. So.” He nods and nods and nods again. “Thank you.”

Coming Down - Dum Dum Girls

-Tracy: “But I wasn’t. I was hurting you. This whole time, Az.” She shakes her head, wiping frantically at tears that won’t stop falling. “He loves you.”

I Don’t Know Anything – Little Voice Cast

-He’s afraid of finding out that all this time - he was doing the wrong thing anyway. He’s afraid that Anthony Crowley will never talk to him again.

Sweet Sour - Band of Skulls

-"And you're fired"

Heart Attack - Devarrow

-The sun is still rising when Avery gets out of the car, closes the door behind him. Though some of the roads have changed, his feet still know the way down to the docks of his youth. He was never a sailor, but the shoreline is familiar as a childhood sweetheart, as a long lost love.

Landslide - Robyn Sherwell

-He’s alone, and he’s nearly fifty years old. He could get on a ship, he could throw himself into the sea. There’s no one holding him back anymore.

All I Can - Sharon van Etten

-And he knows. He knows.

--Chapter 11--

Salvation - The Strumbellas

- there’s a moment where he swears he sees a young idiot in black standing in the crowd. Red hair gelled up into spikes, black t-shirt full of holes and safety pins. A young man who has no idea how much he’s about to lose.

Soldier - Fleurie

-And he’s still fucking here.

Easier – Mansionair

-Then he gets the fuck above ground and he calls Beez (oh great, they’re his emotional-support-asshole now. That’s healthy).

Deep End – Holly Humberstone

-“I brought you cheese,” Beez says, and Crowley starts crying.

Falling Short – Lapsley

-For the next few days, he lets his stupid body do what it needs to do to keep himself upright.

Chariot (Stripped Version) - Gavin DeGraw

-Shit, this was a bad bad idea.

Quiet Light - The National

-There’s a text from Az later that night, and his name on Crowley’s phone makes him feel like jumping off a cliff.

All That We Had is Lost - Postiljonen

-He’s not allowed to be in love with that man anymore. Wasn’t ever, really.

Heal - Tom Odell

-It makes a rather hysterical laugh well out of his throat. Anthony fucking Crowley. You are still alive.

Let Me Go - HAIM

-Crowley tries to ignore the soft, injured expression on the other man’s face as he turns away.

A Beginning Song - The Decemberists

-“What’s more frightening than having a choice?”

The Spark - William Prince

-And he likes to think he would have just burned the world to ashes with the power of his love, would have said fuck everyone, I choose you – but who knows.

Sharp Scratch - The Slow Show

-So stupid, I know, and I’m - sorry, I still love you and I’m tryin’ to stop and I will I just - needed to tell you that. I’ll be fine. You’ll be fine. Just miss you.

Beautiful & Brutal – Plested

-Crowley moves without thinking. Falls like a stagelight, glass everywhere. He walks forward and is kissing Az before the door has even been pulled shut.

Bad Chemistry - Fake Shark

-“I’ve been - thinking about this -” Az says between darts of his tongue against Crowley’s overheated skin.

All We Do – Oh Wonder

-“But I - I love you. And I can’t - hide. It hurts too much.”

Broken Strings - James Morrison (ft Nelly Furtado)

-“I wouldn’t survive it. That way it was. I wouldn’t.”

Stole the Show – Parson James

-But even on their distant shores, Crowley and Az don’t stop looking at each other. It feels like an ending. Maybe it is one. Not a happy ending, but not a bad one either.

Level Up - Vienna Teng

-excerpt from Anthony Crowley: Out of the shadows, under the spotlight

The Wire (Alternate Version) – Patrick Droney

-Avery: “I’m rather in - in love with you.”

Sweet Thing - Van Morrison

-“You can stay at my place. If you like.”

Falling in Love - Cigarettes After Sex

-“I love you. I’ve missed you, and I love you, and I want you -”

Stay - Cat Power

-He watches the slow flicker of awareness in Avery’s blue eyes. The curve of his mouth into a shade of smile that Crowley’s never seen before.

Freedom - George Michael

-“To the world.”

--Chapter 12--

Banks - NEEDTOBREATHE

-What he wasn’t used to was bringing someone else down with him, and jail would be a bloody blessing compared to seeing Az grey-faced and staring out windows, or that one time Crowley’s pretty sure the man was crying in the bathroom, trying to swallow down the sound so that Crowley didn’t notice (he clenches his hands into fists just thinking about it).

Black Mambo - Glass Animals

-“It’ll have to be.” Crowley drops to his knees. “There’s a lot of ground to cover.”

Florets - Grace VanderWaal

-Crowley can let his fingers curl against Az’s palm, can watch him open as a flame, not caring who notices.

Sight of the Sun - fun.

-That this longing won’t destroy him, and won’t destroy Az either. It’s not a shovel for burying Crowley alive - it’s a spade for planting things.

Pale Blue Eyes - The Velvet Underground

-Az drops his hand onto Crowley’s knee (“What is this song? I rather like it.”).

Only Everything (Acoustic) – Quinn Lewis

-“It’s nice to have someone make it for you, right? Sometimes,” Crowley says softly, too much love in his throat and in his hands. It’s hard to breathe around it, especially when Avery is looking at him.

The Book of Love - The Magnetic Fields

-“You bought a cottage for us.” Crowley is an animal being taught to speak through scraps of meat and electric shocks. “This cottage.”

Say You’ll Be Mine – Christopher Cross

-Avery: “But if you wanted -” Fuck, there are tears in Avery’s eyes. “If you want. I’d like to call you my husband. I’d like to say ‘let me ask my husband,’ or ‘I brought my husband with me’ or ‘my husband won a BAFTA’.”

Anthem - Leonard Cohen

-Their broken edges match. And somehow, the light still shines through.

Precious Love – James Morrison

-When the light catches them both, they shine. And so do you. So do we.

Good Man (acoustic) - Josh Ritter

If you made it this far...wow, hi hello. So, this is ours and my musical exposure is limited, if you’ve got a better song for an excerpt, feel free to shoot it over, more than happy for this to be a living changeable thing. 🤡

#slow show #slow show playlist #tumblr html code after read more is some bullshit #it's fic for your ears

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pochitastan · 4 years

Text

Do I Wanna Know?

songfic based on Do I Wanna Know? by Arctic Monkeys

pairing: levi ackerman x fem!reader

AN: this is my first posted fic so i'm sorry if it's shit. i try to make my fics inclusive and i know not all races blush or show red on their face but the song lyrics start that way so i'm sorry in advance. the effort i put into this is extraordinary im surprised i finished it.-

WARNINGS: LANGUAGE, slow burn, angst (not rlly), SMUT, unprotected sex, biting, overstimulation, light degradation, some choking, light bondage, he makes you cry lol, FLUFF- like wholesome shit? i really made myself feel even lonelier than i already do writing this.

word count- about 10k (this a whole ass book sorry) i don't have caps on purpose

i hope you guys enjoy this mess <3

"have you got color in your cheeks?"

"what?"you turn away from where- who - you were looking at and look at christa, meeting her worried gaze. She puts her hand on your forehead and sighs "are you feeling well y/n? you're burning up." you were completely fine physically, its your emotions making you heated. a foreign feeling was in your chest as you watched a new recruit sucking up to captain levi a little too obviously. "i'm fine christa, i'll be better once i get food in my system." she purses her lips and sighs "atleast let me get you a cool towel, i could use one myself." you curtly nod and turn back towards the scene before you.

do you ever get that fear that you can’t shift the type that sticks around like summat in your teeth?

the new girl, sienna, stands on a chair that she claimed was "wobbly" and "dangerous" so she asked the captain to "keep a hand on her" so she could be steady as she dusts off the top of the bookshelves she was in front of. what an airhead. she was using levi's annual cleaning day to her advantage alright. you lazily mop the floor as you watch how his hand stays on her leg, the bottom half of his face covered with his go to white bandana. his usual bored expression is apparent in his eyes as they trail around his surroundings, meeting yours from a room away. you try to correct your glare and immediately look back down at your mop on the floor. you missed the way his lip quirks up, hidden beneath the mask.

are there some aces up your sleeve? You weren't jealous, just pissed because of how unnecessarily loud sienna was being. you weren't thinking about what you would do if you were in her place-imagining his hand on your leg. no, you hate him because of how he holds himself with untouchable pride, acting like everyone is beneath him, how all the new recruits practically fan girl over "humanity's strongest." he's not all that. although he's older than you your kill count is quickly catching up to his, not to mention your untouchable skill when it comes to operating your ODM gear. although you two are at each other's necks, you have saved each other's lives on the battle field on multiple occasions- him saying something along the lines of "get your ass back up brat!" and you scolding him with "don't get lazy on me now asshole." no one dared speak to him like that- but when his life had almost ended seconds before, your words helped him snap back into battle mode. this "relationship" began when you first joined the scouts and sought out for him after your first exhibition outside of the walls. of course, this was before you knew how much of a douche the man really is. when you found him your conversation went something like this. "captain, i was wondering if you could teach me how to fight the way you do." "did you not pay attention in training?" "sir, i've seen some of the most dedicated soldiers i know have their limbs severed and be devoured before me. did they not pay attention in training, or were they just not as talented and gifted as you?" truthfully you thought he would smack you away right then and there due to the venom in your voice and blatant disrespect towards him. instead he narrows his eyes slightly "same time tomorrow, you better not be late, brat." you may not know it, but he took an interest in your bold personality, even though he knew it would end up pissing him off. have you no idea that you’re in deep? i’ve dreamt about you nearly every night this week, how many secrets can you keep? your mind wonders to a week ago when the corps returned from a scouting mission in which countless lives were lost. you had seen a titan grab levi by the leg before you swiftly cut the giant baby down. he hid it well, but you saw his limp before he flew off. when you returned to base you couldn't find him anywhere "armin!" you ran towards the boy and he looked at you with wide eyes "y/n you're hurt!" he wasn't wrong. you had gotten your left forearm caught in a titan's jaw, luckily you were able to cut free before your limb was severed or broken- but your limb was still torn open from the titan's large teeth. armin takes the towel used to wipe his sweat and wraps it around your arm "you need medical-"you interrupt him "armin wheres captain levi?" you needed to remind him of how you saved his life once again, you weren't going to check up on him. no, you didn't want to see how badly his leg was hurt or make sure he really made it back alive. the boy looks around and points to the base "he went inside i- i think he was injur-" "thank you!" you sprint inside finding him in an unused room wrapping his injured leg with gauze. "captain!" now that you're alone with him you don't really know what to do or say, so you settle on standing in the doorway. he abruptly turns to see you standing at the door holding a stained red towel on your injured arm. "shit- you need to go to the medical tent for that dumbass!" god you were pale- your y/e/c eyes were dull from blood loss and you were practically swaying in front of him. he stands- wincing as he puts weight on his bad leg- and pulls you inside closing the door behind him. he sits you on the bed and gets down on his good knee before you. "you don't have time to get back out there- you can barely stand" he pulls the towel from you and throws it on the floor behind him. "shit- what a mess" he curses as he gently grabs your arm- ripping the gauze with his teeth and wrapping your wound. you could hear his deep breathing as you watch him and you start to relax, slightly leaning forward as tiredness starts to overtake you. he finishes his wrapping- the gauze strategically put around your elbow to the palm of your hand. "levi." you can barely keep your eyes open due to the amount of blood you lost. he meets your gaze, his face so close your noses are practically touching. a foreign feeling blooms in your chest as you look at him, his face betraying his usual disinterested expression, instead his brows are furrowed, his usually downcast gaze now upturned in worry. he clenches his jaw, looking to the side, and his expression returns to it's normal calm state. you hesitantly bring your uninjured hand to his cheek and lean your forehead into his, closing your eyes. "i saved your ass once again." you hear him hum a deep chuckle and you feel his rough hand come over yours, pushing your cold touch into his face. he brings his other hand to your chin pulling you away to look at him. god his clothes were stained with your blood and guilt courses through you. your usual resolve falls as your eyes tear up. how embarrassing. you've never dropped your composure like this, years of emotional abuse allowing you to hide what you feel from your face easily. you're definitely suffering from severe blood loss. "still a pain in my ass even when i'm the one taking care of you." "you love it." you retort as you look away, trying to hide your tears and your face heats from his words. "why did you come here y/n?" his deep voice was monotone as usual, but his expression was soft. "i-" you look at him again and suddenly the two of you were leaning in. you closed your eyes and his lips were on yours. they were soft, softer than you had imagined. his hand stayed on yours while the other tangled in your hair. if you thought you were lightheaded before- what you were feeling now was on a whole new level. he pulls away, trailing his thumb over your bottom lip, his eyes following his finger's movements. god you were practically floating, your heartbeat was pumping rapidly in your chest, heat spreading all throughout your body and settling between your legs. your vision gets hazy and you blink struggling to maintain consciousness. levis eyes go wide and your vision goes black. you woke up the next day in the medical tent, levi no where in sight. cause there’s this tune i found that makes me think of you somehow and i play it on repeat until i fall asleep you snap back to reality. you hold up your injured arm. you had been avoiding him since then, trying(and failing) to convince yourself it was a dream you had due to the dangerous blood loss you experienced. even if it did happen it was only because the two of you were injured and not thinking straight. he would never be interested in you. suddenly you hear sienna yelp and fall back. you look back up and see levi holding her bridal style effortlessly. "oh captain! thank you you're so strong- oh" levi sets her down and rolls his eyes with a scowl, grabbing the duster from her hand and walking straight towards you. quickly, you look back at your mopping suddenly very interested in how shiny the wet floor looks. "cadet." his deep voice sends chills down your body and you subconsciously squeeze your thighs together to relieve the sudden heat in your core. you look up at him and see he's already looking down at you with an amused look in his eyes. "last i checked your assignment was to mop the floors correct?" duh. you fight the urge to roll your eyes. "correct sir." he pulls down his bandana and leans closer to you. in a voice just above a whisper he says "so why are you so distracted from your task?" you can't take your eyes away from his and your body flushes at his close proximity. he takes the mop from your hand, his calloused fingers grazing yours, and hands you the duster. "from now on you're in charge of dusting the underside of the tables and wiping down the trimming on the walls. maybe when you're on your knees you can learn a thing or two about finishing tasks."

spillin’ drinks on my settee

asshole! you swallow as anger blooms in your chest. how dare he tempt and tease you like this,first leading you on with a kiss and now making you get on your knees before him. you didn't know if you wanted to smack him or suck him off. a distant voice in the back of your head said imagine doing both. you know he's looking for a reaction. if he wants to tease you and push your limits, two can play at that game. you slowly get down on your knees before him, maintaining eye contact the whole way down. your heart beats rapidly in your chest and you try to ignore the fact that his cock is merely inches away from your mouth. "yes sir." you ignore the strong urge to look away from his eyes and down his body as he stares you down, his lips slightly parted. he lets out a breath and pulls his mask back up, leaving with the mop and moving upstairs. you let out the breath you were holding and sit back on your feet, running your hand through your hair. "here you go y/n! sorry it took me so long, eren and jean were arguing." christa hands you the wet towel and her eyes go wide "oh you really look dazed now, are you sure you're alright?" you bring the towel to your head "i guess i really am feeling a bit shaky." you can't stand him.

do i wanna know if this feeling flows both ways?

you lazily chew your bread, pretending to be interested in the conversation your friends were carrying on at the table. tensions were high after a long day of cleaning and being critiqued by the captain. eren and jean were going on about something once again. you swear the two are always at each others necks, no doubt because of jean's jealousy towards eren due to how close he is with mikasa. "you're all talk! i don't care if you're a titan- i'll kick your scrawny ass right now!" jean yells and stands causing eren to reciprocate "oh i'd love to see you try horse face" things were getting ugly fast. "come on guys let's calm down now" reiner stands with them "back off reiner i don't need your help!" eren practically growls. this is serious if reiner can't stop their advances. you stand and move between the pair "that's enough. you two need to set your differences aside and learn when to quit." you put your arm against eren's chest and look at him. "fine." he huffs. you sigh and jean grumbles under his breath "pussy, i knew you wouldn't do shit, no wonder you let your mother get killed." ... oh no. eren snaps and charges, causing jean to swing. eren quickly grabs your injured forearm, and roughly pulls you out of the way from jean's blow. you fall to the floor and chaos ensues with everyone rushing in between the two. you wince in pain as your gauze starts turning red from your now opened wound. you stand as you hear steps rapidly coming down the stairs towards the group. "guys please- the captains coming" your pleads fall on deaf ears and you mentally curse yourself for not doing more to stop this. "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?" levi's cold voice booms through the room and everyone freezes.

sad to see you go, was sorta hopin’ that you’d stay

eren and jean abruptly pull away from each other and everyone takes a step back. levi stands with hange behind him. the captain's voice is rough as he growls "have you two sons of bitches got any intelligence in those nonexistent brains of yours? not only did you shitheads ruin a meal you also decided to fuck up a perfectly clean room." he glances over everyone but his eyes fall on you. "cadet, why is your arm hidden?" shit... shit! you freeze. taking a deep breath you glare back at him, trying to telepathically curse him for pointing it out and tell him that it's not a big deal. wordlessly you pull your arm out from behind you. all eyes look at the gauze on your arm stained red with blood, which was now dripping on the floor. the captain takes a breath. then two. "its fine, it's not as bad as it looks-"gods your arm is throbbing "i was too rough on it and i should've let it heal more, this is my doing." the lie falls smoothly from your lips and you try not to wince at the silence. "no y/n, i won't let you cover for me." eren steps forward and you mentally scold him. "sir i was the one who hurt her. i must've grabbed her injured arm when i pushed her out of the way." you know what's about to happen and it appears your comrades do too. a moment of silence passes before levi steps towards eren and you pray mikasa won't try to kill the captain. eren's eyes go wide with fear and he steps back, stumbling into the now flipped table, causing him to fall to the ground. he crawls backwards, his eyes never leaving the captain's. it's almost as if you can read his thoughts, his mind replaying one phrase: not again. mikasa takes a step forward and you know that if you don't act now things will take a turn for the worse. just as levi raises his good leg to deliver a blow and mikasa reaches for her blades, you're next to the captain with your good hand on his shoulder. "if eren hadn't moved me i would've gotten hit. because of him i didn't have to kick jean's ass myself."you quirk a brow and glance over to jean, who currently looks like he's about to vomit "and you know his injuries would be far worse than mine." a moment passes before levi puts his leg down, redirecting his glare to the rest of the group. "fix it or i will." and just like that he leaves, hange shrugging at us before following behind him.

baby we both know that the nights were mainly made for saying things that you can’t say tomorrow day

eren stands and cant meet your eye "im sorry y/n" you shake your head with a chuckle and give him a closed eye smile, causing him to look at you in confusion. "you did nothing wrong eren." the boy clenches his jaw and gives you a curt nod before moving to set the table back up. mikasa nods at you and you pray eren will one day realize how much this girl cares for him. "yeah, next time you guys fight we're not stepping in." connie says with a smirk "i kinda wanna see who'd win anyway." you and a few others laugh with him. you grab a towel from the cabinet and wrap it tightly around your arm to stop the bleeding as you lean against the counter and look at your blood on the floor. no wonder levi reacted the way he did, that clean freak must've been pissed about the mess your blood made. he didn't even spare you a look when you were next to him, he had no reaction to your touch on his shoulder. you curse under your breath, gods why did you care so much? just being near the guy pisses you off. you pinch the bridge of your nose and close your eyes. "he didn't look at the floor." armin stands in front of you. "what?" "he didn't notice the blood, he just looked at you." the boy seemed to be as surprised as you. you keep your face blank "what are you talking about?" armin ignores you and walks back to the others, leaving you alone once again.

crawlin’ back to you

it had been a few weeks since eren and jean's fight, each day dully passing as you sat out of the front lines due to your injury. since then your arm had healed enough to the point where you could use it again, in moderation of course. it is starting to scar and you can tell it will leave a gruesome mark behind, but you don't mind. although you were injured levi didn't go easy on you, giving you extra assignments like cleaning the stables or staying up late to re-mop the floors after your first attempt was "pathetic". yet even after ordering you around or ignoring you completely, he would always gently pull your arm to him and look it over before letting you do your tasks. what the hell is up with him? he was being unnecessarily cold and rude to you one minute then checking on your recovery the next. he never showed any inclination that he really cared- yet his touch was so soft and warm. you figured he was bitter towards you because of how you stopped him from hurting eren, maybe he saw your actions as disrespectful. you silence your thoughts as you sit at the table at which the scouts have their meetings. everyone was waiting for levi, eren, and hange to show. as if on cue the three come into the room, hange sitting at the head of the table and eren sitting at the opposite head. wait... why is eren sitting where levi usually sits? the only open seat was the one right next to you, to the right of eren. levi sits next to you and you give eren a confused look. levi didn't seem to mind where eren was sitting... weird. even reiner seemed to notice the seat change, raising a brow to you from his spot beside you. the meeting must be about the experiments hange has been using eren for, why else would levi trade his spot?

ever thought of callin’ when you’ve had a few? cause i always do

the meeting went as usual, levi briefing us on the newest plan for returning to the walls and others offering up various information and ideas. levi passed the discussion over to hange and she started talking about her latest experiments on her titans and eren. after updating us she went into her usual rant on how she was inspired for these experiments and of course everyone knew this information already. usually levi was the one to suggest we change the topic or simply leaving the table, allowing us to follow, yet he sat to the left of you leaning his head against his hand, mirroring your position. you glance over to him and see he's already looking at you, his expression remains the same but he raises a brow when you make eye contact. he then turns his attention back to hange. you ignore how good he looks and turn your attention to the table, lazily tracing circles on the surface of the wood. you're caught up in your thoughts, zoning out into your own world when a finger lightly caresses your thigh. your hand freezes and you blink. did levi just touch your thigh? almost as if in response you feel him lazily trace his finger in circles leading to your upper thigh, mirroring what you did to the table moments before. you look around at everyone else at the table wondering if they could tell what was happening yet none of them were looking over to you, they're bored expressions showing no suspicion. you quickly glance to levi and see he looks stoic as ever, his attention appearing to still be on hange. how can he sit here and look so calm? his feather light touch moves further up your leg and you turn your head down to the table again, your cheeks heating up. how was no one else seeing this? damn this large ass table covering everything- even reiner couldn't see a thing. levi's touch was sending electricity all over your body, your core practically gushing at his teasing. he keeps on moving up your thigh, his circles dangerously close to your center, and you subconsciously part your legs, giving him more access. you don't notice how he wets his lips with his tongue, fighting off a small smirk. you swallow and as you do his finger runs over your clothed clit. you fight back a gasp causing your spit to go down the wrong pipe and you're sent into an embarrassing coughing fit, everyone's attention turning to you as you wave them off stuttering "sorry"'s and "i'm fine" in between coughs. for the first time in a while levi wants to laugh, he loves seeing you get worked up over his little teases, it amuses him. a selfish part of him wants to be the only one to get these reactions out of you, wanting to be the only one to have this affect on you. he'll think about those thoughts later. you finally get a hold of yourself and hange continues after you apologize for interrupting her. levis finger returned to your upper thigh and you mentally crossed your fingers hoping you would be able to control yourself if he tried that again. your mind was racing, imagining what you would do if no one else was here. oh how you wanted him to bend you over this table and pound you until you were crying- "are you ok y/n?"reiner whispers. levi's hand freezes and you immediately snap out of your thoughts. reiner was looking at you with his hand over yours on the table, his thumb lightly running over your knuckles. maybe i’m too busy being yours to fall for somebody knew, now i’ve thought it through it was no secret to levi, the looks the other men would give you and the many conversations your name and appearance were brought up in made him quickly realize how sought after you really are. your beauty was apparent to him, he often caught himself thinking of your smile or the cute way your eyebrows raise when you try not to laugh at the other cadets being stupid. your laugh is what he enjoys the most, it reminds him of his old friend isabel and the days he spent with farlan in the underground. regardless, he knew he'd be a fool to think he was the only one who thought this way about you, it was nearly impossible not to. you're brilliant but you were clueless when it came to other's attraction towards you. he'd often watch as you would laugh with other guys, your innocent touches and jokes easily being mistaken for flirting, ignoring the anger and jealousy he would feel as he wished he could drag you away from their lustful eyes. of course even reiner was apart of the y/n fan club. he takes his hand away from you and clenches his jaw, trying, and failing, to ignore reiner's hand on yours. you nod and pull both of your hands into your lap "i'm fine, thanks reiner." you chew the inside of your cheek hating how much you miss the captain's touch. your heart skips a beat when you replay how soft and sensual his touches were in your mind. no matter how hard you try you can't seem to shake him from your thoughts, even when other guys enter the picture he's always there. you need a damn break. the meeting finally ends and you abruptly get up, ignoring reiner's attempts at walking you to your room, and you don't notice how levi glares at reiner as you leave. crawlin back to you "alright! you should be good to go. i'm sorry i can't help the scarring-" "it's fine don't worry about it hanj! if anything it just makes me look bad ass." the woman laughs at the nickname you gave her and crosses her arms "you don't need a scar to do that, everyone remembers how you kicked bertolt's ass in your sparring match with him." you roll your eyes and the two of you laugh. you move your arm around freely for the first time in what feels like a while. you thank hange for watching over your recovery and leave her office, heading over to the girl's rooms for the night. "you're cleared already?" levi's voice freezes you in place. it's been a week since you last saw the captain one on one, him ignoring you completely unless he was assigning more trivial cleaning tasks. you let out an annoyed sigh and turn around. "yes, hange just gave the all clear." he's holding a small stack of papers in one hand and gestures for you to come closer with the other "let me see."

so have you got the guts?

your frown deepens and you walk up to him, ignoring how his eyes follow you as you approach. you stand two feet away for good measure and hold your arm out in front of him. he gently grabs your wrist, pulling you closer, and turns his attention to your now scarred arm. you can't help but keep your eyes on his as his finger lightly traces the markings. he looks up at your face and you immediately turn your head away to the floor, hating the way your heart skips a beat. "it's healed up better than i thought it would." what the hell is wrong with you? it's like your whole body is set ablaze just from the tip of his finger. "y/n look at me." your eyes go wide and you face him. his mouth moves and your eyes are trained on his lips, not registering anything he's saying. been wonderin’ if your heart’s still open and if so i wanna know what time it shuts "good girl." the words send electricity straight to your core and an audible gasp slips from your lips. your eyes go wide and your face feels so hot you swear you could cook an egg on it. you pull your arm away step back "w-what?" you stutter out. the captain looks at you with a confused and frankly judgemental look "i said relax, you look like you could hurl." you swallow and nod, a giggle slipping out. levi watches you as your giggles turn into a short coughing fit and he raises a brow in amusement. you really need to learn how to not choke on your spit. "sorry, i thought you said something else." this is so humiliating. you need to pull yourself together. why can't you keep your usual stone-faced facade around the captain? his eyes narrow and it's almost like you can see the gears turning in his head. your embarrassment shows on your face and you watch his eyebrows raise as he registers what you heard. "you thought i said good girl." he says taking a step forward. simmer down and pucker up, i’m sorry to interrupt its just i’m constantly on the cusp of trying to kiss you you struggle to keep your composure as the man before you looks down at you, now so close you can feel his breath fan over your face. you cross your arms over your chest and roll your eyes "tch, so what if i did." your usual poker face has returned, yet your heart pounds rapidly in your chest. the captain brushes a lose strand of your hair behind your ear and leans down right next to your face. "can i try something?" your head nods on its own and your lips part as his eyes glance over them. you don't have time to react as his hand comes to the back of your head and massages your scalp before pulling your head to the side by your hair, giving himself access to your neck. you gasp and grip the front his dress shirt as he licks up your neck, biting into your sensitive skin. you stifle a moan and just like that he pulls away. your hand comes up to your neck, shock evident on your face. "wha-what was that?" the captain's lip twitches in an almost smirk, a deep hum rumbling his chest. "just as i thought." your skin is softer than he imagined. but i dont know if you feel the same as i do "oi there you are levi! i've been waiting for sawney's files for forever." levi turns around to face the section commander with his usual stone faced expression, as if he wasn't just sucking on your neck a few seconds before. he walks over to her, handing over the papers he's been holding. "don't go complaining now, you're lucky i even got them for you." hange looks over to you and raises a brow "cadet l/n what are you still doing here? i thought i dismissed you ages ago." as your superior you know you should be intimidated, scared even, from her questioning, but over the past month and a half you two have gotten pretty close from how often you would have to see her for your routine check ups. your hands come to your hips and you tease "captain levi wanted to check over my arm himself. Apparently he doubts your ability to oversee my recovery." to anyone else her movements would be undetectable but your keen observation skills easily spot how her eyes quickly dart to your neck, swiftly following over to levi's wrinkled button up and watch as he wipes his lips with the back of his hand. if she put the dots together she didn't show it, instead going along with your joke. she lets out an exaggerated gasp and turns to levi "how dare you underestimate my healing abilities! i'll have you know i was top-" levi rolls his eyes "tch, i just wanted to make sure you weren't experimenting on her, four eyes. let's not forget about the blood test incident with mikasa." this makes you and hange laugh, levi letting a rare soft smile grace his lips as he watches you. "alright i'll leave you two, the girls are no doubt looking for me at this point." you and hange exchange a wave and levi watches your hips sway as you leave, mentally noting how good your uniform slacks make your ass look. he hears hange clear her throat and meets her gaze. his eyes slightly go wide as she gives him a knowing look and he looks away letting a "tch" out under his breath. "so i see you're finally going for it." levi glares at the woman and she smirks "i've seen you looking at her, and how protective you get with her-" levi glares "enough" he mumbles, looking like a pouting child as a rosy tint covers his cheeks. hange just continues her teasing "i heard her bunk is the cleanest out of all the girls'-" "shut up." hange just laughs and levi walks back to his office, avoiding further torment from the woman. but we could be together if you wanted to he was beginning to get pissed off. he expected you to cover the mark he left on you yesterday, you'd be a fool not to, but that's not what was bothering him. he watches from across the mess hall as reiner walks with you to get tea with his hand on your lower back. he knows reiner is using this as an excuse to make a move, as you are the only other person besides him and ymir who enjoys tea. how pathetic. he also notices how the other cadets are watching the two of you, excluding sasha who is too busy stuffing her face to notice anything. it was painfully obvious he was pining after you, yet your demeanor remained the same as always. with a grunt he focuses back on the conversation hange and erwin are having, subconsciously gripping the rim of his teacup tighter. do i wanna know if this feeling flows both ways? you laugh along with reiner as you pour your tea, trying to ignore how unnecessarily touchy he is today. you don't mind, his innocent touches never made you uncomfortable or made you feel anything really. reiner is a sweet guy, a lot of the other cadets look up to him and you respect that, but another man was occupying your thoughts. you sip your tea and tune in to what reiner is saying "-if i could i would build a cottage in the middle of nowhere with my own farm. it'd be perfect for my woman and i to start a family, and we wouldn't have to worry about the neighbors hearing us." he says the last part with a smirk and your face heats from his suggestive tone. "what about you gorgeous?" you take another sip and contemplate your answer. "well, if i could live beyond the walls i would probably explore. there has to be another civilization somewhere, we can't possibly be the last of the human race, there's no way i'm believing that bullshit." something in reiner's demeanor changes at your words. his face darkens and he steps closer to you, invading your space. the way he looks at you is unrecognizable, almost as if a different person stands before you. "how interesting." his hands come to your hips and he pulls you closer to him, his face hovering over yours, "who told you you could be this smart?" your eyes widen and you nervously laugh "my teachers i guess?" his grip on you tightens as you try to pull away. you really don't want to fight him and fear courses through you as he looks down at your neck. "oh? what's this?" one of his hands pull away to touch your neck and you use the opportunity to put a great distance between the two of you. your back hits someone's hard chest and their hand lightly rests against your lower back to steady you."i didn't know making women uncomfortable was something you enjoyed doing reiner." sad to see you go, was sorta hopin’ that you’d stay the captain's voice sounds from behind you and your shoulders visibly relax. levi cooly steps around you and casually refills his teacup. reiner's eyes stay on him with a glare that would've sent anyone running if not directed at the captain. levi calmly sips his tea, "oi, what are you still standing there for? i know i'm a sight but you don't need to stare." levi doesn't even spare reiner a glance as he grunts and walks off. you begin to turn around until his deep voice stops you "not you. you're coming with me." baby we both know that the nights were mainly made for saying things that you can’t say tomorrow day after levi finished his tea he silently lead you out of the mess hall toward his office. he walks in front of you, knowing you're following closely behind him. you don't speak until he opens the door to his office, walking in and gesturing for you to close the door. "you wanted to speak with me?" your voice comes out stronger than you thought it would due to the nerves coursing through you. you're alone with the captain in his office and it's just like you imagined. his desk is neatly organized with a few stacks of paper sitting in a straight line next to the edge. you notice a light ring the size of a teacup on the wood and a small smile rests on your face. "i didn't know i'd have to babysit you when you joined the scout regiment, if i had i wouldn't have let you." your smile is long forgotten. did you hear that right? "excuse me?" a look of disbelief graces your features and your head tilts to the side as you look at him. he couldn't help but find it endearing. "you heard me." though he knows it doesn't show on his face, he's pissed. he's sick of seeing all the other men openly lust over you as if you don't belong to him. no, he's done waiting around for you to realize how he feels. he crosses his arms and takes a step closer to you "you leading all the men on doesn't help your case either." your eyebrow twitches yet your face remains calm. is he trying to piss you off? "or are you so clueless that you can't see what you're doing to them?" he takes another step closer "to me?" you take a deep breath. "what is the point of this conversation, sir?" the title comes out harsher than you intended and the captain's eyebrow raises. "because if you're just going to shame me i'll be on my way." contrary to your words you don't make any move to leave his office. "no, i intend on doing other things." he lightly grabs ahold of one of your wrists and pulls you closer to him. "i cant have you acting like a slut now can i?" arousal courses through you and you gasp in shock as your other wrist moves to slap him before he gently grabs your hand, stopping it just before it hits him. "fuck you-" your voice catches in your throat as he traces his tongue up your wrist. your whole body heats and you forget to breathe as you watch him. he pulls away before kissing the area underneath your thumb, making eye contact as he lightly bites into your skin. crawlin back to you he relishes in the way your lips part, how intense and shocked your eyes look as they stay on his mouth. well that's one way to shut you up, but he doesn't want you to be quiet right now. he pulls away and a line of saliva connects your skin to his lips for a second. "cursing at your superior now are we?" you swallow and look back up into his eyes. oh how you regret doing that. the look he gives you sends heat straight to your core and you're sure your panties will be soaked soon."or-" he starts walking you backwards towards the door "does this little girl enjoy being a brat?" you don't even know how to respond. the man before you wears a small smirk "answer me." before your back can hit the door he turns you around, pulling your arms behind you and shoving your face against the cool wood. his chest is against your back and his scent fills your senses, making you dizzy with the pleasant smell of his cologne with a faint hint of soap and cleaning products. "asshole." your voice comes out in a quiet croak but he hears you clearly. he roughly pushes into you harder, causing his clothed cock to connect with your heat. a whimper falls from your lips from the contact and he feels you clench through his pants. his lips lightly caress your cheek as he speaks "how filthy, your cunt is already begging for me to fill you with my cock." your eyes widen at his words. you knew he had a foul mouth but this takes you by surprise. your heart is beating so loudly in your chest you're worried he can feel it against him. you push back into him, desperately searching for any kind of friction to relieve the pressure between your legs, and you thank the gods when he lets you grind against his hardening cock. he lets out a hiss and his hips start to grind with yours while his free hand unbuttons your pants and moves to rub circles on your aching clit. he mumbles against you "already so wet for me." before biting into your exposed shoulder. your breaths come out in light gasps, your movements becoming more desperate. you were already getting close and he could tell, but he doesn't want you cumming yet. your legs begin to shake as your release nears, small "yes"'s and "levi"'s falling from your lips. levi wants to hear those soft sounds on repeat, and he makes a mental note to find out how loud they can get. just as you're about to cum levi turns you around and pulls down your pants. your annoyance comes out in a huff as you step out of the slacks before he pushes you against the door again. your hands immediately move to touch him, and he lets you pull his shirt off, using your hands to feel the smooth muscles on his chest and run through his hair. he starts nibbling and sucking on your neck and you remember the warmth of his kiss, how soft and sensual his lips were and pray he'll let you feel them again. he looks at you, enjoying how beautifully fucked out you look already, before moving to connect your lips, yet he barely touches you before pulling away again. you try to lean forward to capture a real kiss from him but his hold on you doesn't budge. he's such a tease. a groan escapes you and levi tsks "now now y/n" they way he says your name makes you close your eyes and rest your head back against the door, trying to ground yourself and keep your composer. "you've made me wait this long-" his kisses trail down your neck before he gets on his knee before you. his calloused hands rub up your thighs and pull your panties off before he pulls one of your legs onto his shoulder. he lightly trails his index finger along your slit and you visibly shudder at the sensation. "you're going to cum on my mouth, understand?" ever thought of callin’ when you’ve had a few? cause i always do your body's so hot you're surprised you haven't passed out by now. he looks up at you expectantly and you wordlessly nod, not trusting your voice at the moment. a harsh slap lands on your ass and you jump with a moan. "use your words cadet." his voice sends vibrations into your core due to his close proximity and you close your eyes, putting your pride and dignity aside. "yes sir, please levi, please, please, please" your words are soft and levi's cock twitches at your begging. you're making him uncomfortably hard but he ignores it in favor of seeing you squirm above him. he can get his dick wet later. he brings his index finger up and lightly teases your clit, watching for your body's reactions to his touch. "have you ever been touched like this before?" he wants to ruin you, to have you crying and begging for him. he wants to make you forget all that isn't his name, but more importantly he wants you to be comfortable. right now he's focused on making you feel good, but not only out of selflessness. he wants to see how many orgasms he can pull from you before you're an incoherent mess from his touch. truthfully he wants to ruin any future sexual escapades with any other lover for you, him being the only one to make your body feel this good. he's selfish and he knows it. he licks along your slit, delicately tasting your folds and he feels your whole body react. you let out a high pitched whine and your hands grip onto his hair tightly. well there's his answer. levi groans into you, sending vibrations throughout your body, and digs in. maybe i’m too busy being yours to fall for somebody knew, now i’ve it through his tongue's languid strokes have you arching into him, your leg struggling to keep you standing. his movements have you quickly approaching the high you so desperately need. you throw your head back and a particularly loud moan slips out when he flicks his tongue over your clit just right. "levi-" he grunts in response and you have to grip the door handle to keep your knee from buckling. "s-sir im- so close" his hands roughly grip your ass and he harshly sucks your clit, sending you tumbling over the edge. your mouth falls open in a silent cry as your orgasm washes over you and levi swears he could cum just from the sight. he laps up your juices and your body jolts every time he runs his tongue over your sensitive clit. one of his hands squeezes your ass as the other trails up under your shirt and kneads your breast over your bra. with a kiss on your pelvic bone he stands and pulls you toward his desk. "sit." he orders. you sit on the edge of his desk and he immediately goes back in between your legs "levi i- ah- what are you doing?" his tongue makes your body jolt due to how sensitive your clit is. he stands and pulls your shirt off of you, your bra coming off soon after. he mumbles "so perfect." as he takes your breasts in his hands, sucking and flicking your nipple with his tongue while his fingers pinch and tease the other. your body is gorgeous, shit, you're gorgeous. his thoughts surround your beauty as he pleases you, enjoying the soft gasps you let out. he pulls away and looks at you while he slips a finger into your tight cunt and curls it causing you to lurch forward into him. his other hand grabs your face and forces you to look at him "take it." your moans only increase at the command and you feel yourself approaching another orgasm. he adds another finger, using his whole arm to perfectly hit a spot deep within you while he swirls his thumb on your clit. you hold onto him for dear life, finger nails leaving red marks across his back as you cum on his fingers. do i wanna know if this feeling flows both ways? suddenly he dips his face between your legs and harshly sucks onto your clit. "ah- fuck levi!" you practically scream as your body shakes from the overstimulation. your cunt clenches his fingers so well throughout your orgasm and he roughly holds your legs open, hard enough to leave bruises. the pain only fuels you more, and although you try to hold back your moans he knows anyone nearby can tell what the two of you are doing. you can barely keep yourself sitting up as you lean back on one arm while the other tugs your captain's hair between your legs. you've never felt this good before. sure, a few of your past partners made you finish but not like this. you don't have it in you to be embarrassed about the noises you're making, your mind only focusing on the man bringing you this pleasure. levi pulls his fingers out of you and you watch with half lidded eyes as he sucks your slick off of them. he's eating you as if you're the best thing he's ever tasted, and to him you are. his fingers move to your clit, harshly rubbing back and forth on your already too sensitive bud and your whole body reacts. levi watches in awe as your head falls back and you arch closer to him, your hips subconsciously moving in time with his fingers. your eyes go wide as you feel his tongue enter you, your hand tightening in his hair as you cry out. the groan he lets into you is pornographic and it's enough to send you over the edge a third time. sad to see you go, was sorta hopin’ that you’d stay if only you could see how beautiful you look right now, he thinks as he stands before you once again. his hand comes around your throat, pulling you to face him before he roughly connects his lips to yours. his tongue explores your mouth and you can taste yourself on him as you wrap your arms around his neck, pulling him closer. his clothed (extremely hard) cock rubs against your aching center, no doubt ruining his pants with your slick, and he grunts into your mouth. you pull away from the heated make out session, a trail of saliva connecting your lips "please let me touch you" you would give anything to get a taste of him. he doesn't respond, instead he pulls you down and bends you over his desk, fully exposing your soaked pussy and ass to him. you hear clothes rustling behind you and he pulls your wrists behind your back using his belt to tie them in place. you feel the head of his cock run through your folds and you can't help the shaky breath you release. a sudden smack lands on your ass and you gasp, the pain causing your eyes to tear up. "how pathetic." he lands another blow onto your other cheek, harsh enough to make you jump, and you moan. "you would do anything for my cock wouldn't you? what a perfect little slut i found." he continues his harsh assault on your ass and you can feel your juices run down your legs, the hot stinging on your skin only fueling your arousal. "do you know how long i've waited for this? i've wanted to fuck that pretty mouth of yours ever since your smart ass asked me to train you." his hands rub over your cheeks, parting them for a second. "but i'll have to save that for next time." next time. "right now you need to be put in your place." his tip stretches you open and you whimper when he stills, his cock barely in you. his hand harshly grips your hair and he pulls, making your head up come up off his desk while the other grips tightly onto your hip, no doubt leaving a bruise. "beg." the command sends heat to your face and you're embarrassed by how turned on it makes you, but at this point you don't care. "please levi, please fuck me-"he grunts "good girl". he roughly slams into you and due to the position your neck is in you can't help but let out a strangled moan. you can't hold back your cries as his hips set a steady pace. it feels like his fat cock is splitting you open and tears stream down your face as the pain and pleasure overwhelm you. you're a sobbing moaning mess beneath him, and he picks up the pace, roughly fucking your abused cunt. your strangled cries have him concerned until he feels how deliciously you pulse around his large cock. he can't seem to focus on anything else as he repeatedly slams into you, his cock hitting all the right places. in the back of his mind a voice tells him he should probably shut you up considering erwin's office is right next door, and dinner is no doubt long over by now. but he can't help it, your voice sounds so good like this, the repeated "unh"'s and occasional curses are a symphony to his music loving ears. erwin will just have to deal with it for now. he feels you flutter around him and he can't help but grunt. you feel so good he considers kicking you from the scouts and keeping you to himself. "l-levi" his name comes out in a choked sob and he can tell you're close again. "go ahead and cum on my cock, brat." he lands a particularly hard slap on your ass and you come undone around him. you grip him so tightly he can't help but to cum with you, gods your cunt is squeezing around him so deliciously. his hips stutter and a long growl rumbles in his chest as he fills you. baby we both know that the nights were mainly made for saying things that you can’t say tomorrow day "i'm not done with you yet." you let out a sob as he grabs onto your bound wrists, pulling your shoulders flush against his chest so that you're standing against him with one leg bent on the table. contrary to your cries your pussy gushes around his still hard cock. your leg shakes, barely able to support your own weight, and his strong hold keeps you against him. his hand wraps around your throat and rubs circles into your skin with his thumb while his other hand brushes your hair out of your face and traces along your curves to rest on your hip. he lightly kisses across your shoulder blade. "one more y/n, you think you can do that for me?" your tears mix with the sweat on his chest and you lay your head back against his shoulder, struggling to catch your breath. you nod and he connects your lips in a tender kiss as his hips return to their thrusting. you are in heaven surely, levi must have killed you for cursing at him earlier and your sick fantasies must be playing out in your mind before you take your final breath. you can't even think properly, your mind producing only one clear thought "levi-". his name falls from your lips like a mantra and he decides that your moans are his favorite song. his hand tightens around your throat, your mind blanking as your oxygen is restricted. your pussy flutters around him and the small grunts and curses he lets out into your ear make your head spin. "p-please levi-" you can barely form the words as his cock reduces you to a blabbering mess. he loosens his hold on your throat and his other hand starts rubbing your clit. you yelp and tightly squeeze your eyes closed "please let me touch you." too busy bein’ yours to fall his thrusts slow and his hand stills, as if he's contemplating your request. he answers you by slowly pulling out of you, catching you when you nearly fall over. he removes the belt from your wrists and gently massages them with his hands. "c'mere" he mumbles. he helps you around his desk, choosing to ignore the papers spread on the floor, and sits in his chair. he helps you onto his lap and you slowly sink onto him, causing both of you to release an airy moan. you start to set a pace, your hands bracing yourself on his chest as you use his cock to get off. levi's breath catches in his throat as he watches you, mesmerized by how captivating you look like this. he silently tries to commit this moment to memory as vividly as possible. his fingertips lightly trace over your nipples and down the marks he's left over your body. he gently squeezes your hip when goosebumps appear across your skin from his touch. you ever thought of callin’ darlin’? you look at him and see him wearing a small smile and you can't fight back the smile that overtakes your features, he's perfect. levi curses under his breath at the sight, swearing that your smile is the most beautiful thing he's ever seen in his painful existence. he feels tears threaten to brim his eyes and he quickly pulls you into him, crashing his lips against yours. your arms come around his neck as the passion in his kiss makes you breathless. he never wants to stop kissing you, the taste of your lips is intoxicating to him and he thanks whatever is listening for bringing you into his life. you feel him twitch in you and you can tell he's close, yet he makes no move to control your pace. you smile against him and you pull away, resting your forehead against his, closing your eyes as you put your hand on his cheek. a familiar feeling floods into your chest along with a sense of deja vu. levi puts his hand over yours and brings the other to rub your clit as a warmth he's grown accustomed to feeling around you blooms in his chest. he pulls your hand away from his face, interlacing your fingers together as he feels you approaching your climax. you squeeze his hand as you cum, your head falling to his shoulder and biting the crook of his neck to silence your cries. after a few seconds your name falls from his lips, his hand squeezing yours as he comes undone.

do you want me crawlin’ back to you?

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"i can see why they say you're the best humanity has to offer." he chuckles at your comment and kisses your hand interlaced with his before his arms wrap around you, causing you to arch into him as you sit on his lap. his head rests in the crook of your neck and he responds with a gruff "not funny" into your skin. the vibrations tickle you and you laugh at his comment. you feel him smile against you. "you love it." your voice comes out just above a whisper. your hand runs through his hair as the other traces languid circles on his shoulder. he pulls you into him tighter, if that's even possible, and plants a light kiss on your cheek. "we need to clean." "levi i can't walk." "i know dumbass, by we i meant me. you can sit there and look pretty." "ok."

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bro this shit is so hard to write

#levi ackerman #levi x reader #aot x reader #aot smut #levi x reader smut #snk #levi ackerman fluff #aot fluff #attack on titan reiner #reader insert #im pretty proud of this #this made me realize how lonely i am

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princessconsuelapark · 4 years

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my ultimate Sam and Dean are soulmates playlist | 61 songs, 3 hr 59 min

I started putting this together over my summer SPN re-watch, and I thought I'd share it with you all, so we can all cry over our Wincest feels together. It has all the usual cliché songs, and some of my own favourites. (Very country-heavy, so if that's not your thing proceed with caution.) I'm a writer, so lyrics are very important to me - I linked them for every song. All songs are individually YouTube linked, alternatively you can find the Spotify version above. I included some comments and explanations for all my choices, as well as quotes from the show. Happy listening! | Last updated: 18 November 2020

Carry On My Wayward Son by Supernatural: The Musical Cast // lyrics // Cliché and all that, but a good place to start.

Somewhere Only We Know by Lily Allen // lyrics // Even as children - as tumultuous and layered their relationship has always been - it was just the two of them, alone, in their own little world. I Found by Amber Run // lyrics // I found love where it wasn't supposed to be.

Fade Into You by Mazzy Star // lyrics // Unhealthily codependent Weecest vibes.

I Wanna Be Yours by Arctic Monkeys // lyrics // Secrets I have held in my heart / Are harder to hide than I thought. Something's Gotta Give by Christian Kane // lyrics // Wanting to get out of town as a metaphor for Dean wanting to act on his feelings for Sam? Yes, please. Christian Kane being a country god? Absolutely. The fact that this man was actually on SPN as Dean’s freaking love interest, and Jensen and him got to sing together still makes me the happiest person on this planet.

Don't You Wanna Fall by Frankie Ballard // lyrics // So, I love the lines Fall down here where an angel should know better than / To walk around this world with me, because god, Dean so often thinks he belongs in Hell, and is terrified of forcing his little brother into anything he doesn’t want. But still, he can’t stop himself: Don’t you wanna fall? (Shoutout to any Destiel shippers out there, because what a perfect song for you guys too, wow.) Thinking of You by Christian Kane // lyrics // Dean, just before Sam leaves for Stanford. (Link is for the Leverage version, because I love that show, and because Eliot Spencer is an angel. Funnily enough, Alona Tal was actually in that very episode, and did actually sing this song - you can find that here.) Hold On by Limp Bizkit // lyrics // I'm waiting for you, I know you're leaving / I'll still adore you, you never need me. LOST BOY by Troye Sivan // lyrics // Thinking about little Sammy’s stolen college admissions guide. Arms of a Stranger by Niall Horan // lyrics // Some jealous!Dean, while Sam is at Stanford angst.

Walking Away by Lifehouse // lyrics // Silence is all we have to give / And the memories of a life I wish we'd lived.

San Francisco by Niall Horan // lyrics // Listen, it’s a song about pining and not being able to let go and love in San Francisco. I mean, where do you expect my mind to go? Stanford Wincest all the way. How Did You Know? by Jedward // lyrics // I don’t wanna hear a bad word about Jedward, they are good lads. It’s a cheesy song, but hey, I love it. Sam comes back. Well, here I am / I couldn't stay gone. Drive by Halsey // lyrics // All we do is drive / All we do is think about the feelings that we hide. And the California never felt like home to me line! So perfect. "We made a hell of a team back there." (01x01 Pilot) Belong by X Ambassadors // lyrics // This is where Sam belongs, really. Riding shotgun, in his brother’s car, on the open road. Link is a fanvid that makes me feel things. Go and watch it, because it’s everything.

You Could Be Happy by Snow Patrol // lyrics // “Sam, you were right. You gotta do your own thing. You gotta live your own life.” (01x11 Scarecrow) Do the things that you always wanted to / Without me there to hold you back, don't think, just do.

Big Black Car by Gregory Alan Isakov // lyrics // "Who was that?" "My brother." "What did he say?" "Goodbye." That soft, disbelieving, confused look on Sam's face when Dean tells him he's proud of him. When it turns out Dean loves him enough to let him go. It should make him feel happy and free, it should make him loathe his childhood, defiance should fill him to the brim. Instead it makes him run straight back to Dean. (01x11 Scarecrow) Hey Brother by Avicii // lyrics // Faith. (01x12) Link is a fanvid, because reasons. Oh, if the sky comes falling down, for you / There's nothing in this world I wouldn't do. Sober Me Up by Frankie Ballard // lyrics // Sam always seems to make the world all fall into place. (Sort of 02x03 Bloodlust vibes?) But baby when you kiss me all the demons seem to disappear.

Always Gold by Radical Face // lyrics // “Killing this demon comes first, before me, before everything.” “No, sir. Not before everything.” (02x07 The Usual Suspects) And they said you were the crooked kind / And that you'd never have no worth / But you were always gold to me. Sold My Soul by Zakk Wylde // lyrics // Bit on the nose, but my god, how fucking real. (02x22 All Hell Breaks Loose: Part 2) Let Me Sign by Kirk Matthews // lyrics // "Well, then let it end!" & "I'm gonna take care of you." (02x22 All Hell Breaks Loose: Part 2) Follow You by Bring Me The Horizon // lyrics // “I mean, you sacrifice everything for me. Don’t you think I’d do the same for you? You’re my big brother. There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for you.” (02x22 All Hell Breaks Loose: Part 2) Say Something by A Great Big World // lyrics // "I just wish you'd drop the show and be my brother again. Cause... just cause." (03x07 Fresh Blood) Take Me To Church by Hozier // lyrics // “This obsession to save Dean? The way you two keep sacrificing yourselves for each other? […] Dean’s your weakness. And the bad guys know it, too.” (03x11 Mystery Spot) Outlaws of Love by Adam Lambert // lyrics // "You're my weak spot. And I'm yours." (03x16 No Rest for the Wicked) Everywhere we go we're looking for the sun / Nowhere to grow old, we're always on the run / They say we'll rot in Hell, but I don't think we will / They've branded us enough, "Outlaws of Love". Wanted Dead Or Alive by Bon Jovi // lyrics // Well, I had to include this one, for obvious reasons. (03x16 No Rest for the Wicked) In Other Words by Ben Kweller // lyrics // Dean's going to Hell. Sam's not okay. In his eyes I see the fear. Real With Me by Cady Groves // lyrics // Dean is not dealing well with remembering Hell. Sam is upset that he's not opening up. And it was never about what you were not / But I don't know how much longer I can hold on. Devil's Backbone by The Civil Wars // lyrics // None of it matters. Leaving for Stanford, choosing Ruby, the demon blood, that he’s Hell’s chosen. Dean will always come for his brother, no matter what. Stay by Florida Georgia Line // lyrics // Sam leaves. It's fucked up. "Hey, you, uh... wanna take the Impala?" Dean doesn’t trust him, not like he used to, but he would say anything to make him stay. (05x02 Good God, Y’all) Hotel Room by Calum Scott // lyrics // They die in a motel room. They find out they share a Heaven. Sam can't find the words to explain. He wishes Dean would just give him time. (05x04 The End) So I kind of wrote a ficlet about this...? Read it if you fancy. Here Tonight by Brett Young // lyrics // The Wincestiest Wincest song to ever Wincest. The lyrics! Sometimes they can just take a minute to sit on the hood of the Impala and watch the stars, Apocalypse be damned.

I Hold On by Dierks Bentley // lyrics // “Sam, it’s okay. It’s okay, I’m here, I’m here. I’m not gonna leave you.” (05x22 Swan Song) Dean believes in his brother, and I’m a sucker for pick-up truck metaphors Lifeboats by Snow Patrol // lyrics // The look on Dean's face when he hugs Sam, when he realises that Sam's back, that he's alive. (06x01 Exile on Main St.) Potentially also some Purgatory vibes. Wild Horses by The Rolling Stones // lyrics // The moment Sam turned up on his doorstep, there was no question he'd choose him. Choose him over Lisa and Ben. Choose him over everyone. “But the minute he walked through that door, I knew. It was over. You two have the most unhealthy, tangled-up, crazy thing I've ever seen. And as long as he's in your life, you're never gonna be happy.” (06x06 You Can’t Handle The Truth) Heavydirtysoul by twenty one pilots // lyrics // “Pick one... Sam’s soul or Adam’s.” “Sam.” (06x11 Appointment in Samarra)

H.O.L.Y. by Florida Georgia Line // lyrics // Oh, this song. A bit of religious irony and whatnot, but my god. The lyrics are everything. You're the healing hands where it used to hurt immediately makes me think of how Dean helped Sam turn the pain from his scar on his palm into “stone number one, and build on it”. (07x02 Hello, Cruel World) I mean, Sam can't even tell what's real anymore, but he trusts his brother. Blindly and with everything he has, because that's who he is. But then there’s also Dean making his promise in the church, and Sam choosing him over dying in 09x01 (I Think I’m Gonna Like It Here). God. Just. I love this song for Sam and Dean.

Through The Dark by One Direction // lyrics // "We'll figure it out, okay? Just like we always do." (08x23 Sacrifice) Leave Out All The Rest by Linkin Park // lyrics // Sam is okay with sacrificing himself. He is ready to die. When my time comes / Forget the wrong that I've done. Demolition Lovers by My Chemical Romance // lyrics // “There is nothing, past or present, that I would put in front of you... I need you to see that." (08x23 Sacrifice) Okay, but look at the lyrics, and try and convince me this song is not about Sam and Dean. Love Will Tear Us Apart by Fall Out Boy // lyrics // "You wanna know what I confessed in there?" (08x23 Sacrifice) TALK ME DOWN by Troye Sivan // lyrics // The look in Sam’s eyes changes, his face falls. "How do I stop?" He chooses Dean like he always does. (08x23 Sacrifice) Brother by Kodaline // lyrics // “Come on. You and Dean? That’s something special, don’t you think?” (09x08 Rock and a Hard Place) Link is a gorgeous fanvid, go watch it and cry. Little Lion Man by Mumford & Sons // lyrics // Dean really messed up this time. Gadreel fall out stuff. Sam breaks up with him in a motel car park in Wisconsin. (09x12 Sharp Teeth)

better off by Jeremy Zucker & Chelsea Cutler // lyrics // "Something's broken here, Dean." (09x12 Sharp Teeth) & "No, Dean, I wouldn't." (09x13 The Purge)

I Can't Go On Without You by KALEO // lyrics // Sam taking Dean’s body home, laying him on his bed, drinking by himself in the dark. (09x23 Do You Believe in Miracles) I Won't Give Up by Noah Guthrie // lyrics // "I am going to save my brother." (10x01 Black) Sam never gives up on Dean. Brother by NEEDTOBREATHE ft. Gavin DeGraw // lyrics // “I never even said thank you, so…” “You don’t ever have to say that, not to me.” (10x04 Paper Moon) Link is another beautiful fanvid, because I can’t help myself. Sittin' Pretty by Florida Georgia Line // lyrics // Sam's sunshine and he’s endless planes of warm skin, soft long hair, and sometimes Dean looks at him. Really looks at him. (No, okay, but the Chevy line really made it for me.) Blood Brothers by Luke Bryan // lyrics // "I don’t need a symbol to remind me how I feel about my brother.” and "The two of us against the world!” "What she said.” (10x05 Fan Fiction) I don’t know, country songs just make me think of Sam and Dean, okay.

I Will Follow You Into The Dark by Daniela Andrade // lyrics // “This is my life. I love it. But I can’t do it without my brother. I don’t want to do it without my brother. And if he’s gone, then I don’t…” (10x18 Book of the Damned)

Golden by Fall Out Boy // lyrics // Dean is so so broken. “No, there is no other way, Sam. I’m sorry.” (10x23 Brother’s Keeper)

Church by Fall Out Boy // lyrics // This whole song screams Sam and Dean to me, and initially I thought of Sam’s Wall breaking down, but then I got stuck on the lines And if death is the last appointment / Then we're all just sitting in the waiting room / I am just a human trying to avoid my certain doom and that’s so clearly Dean killing Death, unable to murder his little brother in the end, because his devotion to Sam runs too deep. (10x23 Brother’s Keeper) In which the SPN writers and Pete Wentz really should get together and discuss over-the-top religious imagery. You are doomed but just enough. Right Back Home by Lifehouse // lyrics // “We are home.“ (11x04 Baby) Be There by Seafret // lyrics // "Bring him back. Bring him back and take me instead." (11x17 Red Meat) You're my way out / You're my way through / And I can't, I can't / Be without you.

Only the Brave by Louis Tomlinson // lyrics // “I need him, he needs me.“ (11x23 Alpha and Omega) With or Without You by U2 // lyrics // The absolute poetic tragedy of 12x09 (First Blood). The way they don’t even have time to really look at each other after six weeks apart, that they are both ready to die for each other without a moment of hesitation.

I Won't Mind by ZAYN // lyrics // “I'm good with who I am. I'm good with who you are. Because our lives? They're ours and maybe I'm too damn old to want to change that.” (14x13 Lebanon)

Fine Line by Harry Styles // lyrics // "Just us.” (15x19 Inherit the Earth)

#spn playlist #supernatural playlist #sam and dean playlist #wincest playlist #sam and dean #wincest #sam x dean #spn #supernatural #wincest quotes #wincest song recs #this is how i'm coping with the show ending okay #leave me alone i'm sad #spn s15 #my post #sam winchester #dean winchester #15x20 #the epic love story of sam and dean

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justcallmefox89 · 4 years

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Truth or Dare Part 3

It’s Arianthi’s birthday and Diavolo has decreed she can have anything the Devildom can provide. She requests a slumber party at the House of Lamentation; her, the brothers, the angels, Solomon, Diavolo, and Barbatos. Asmo has suggested a game of Truth or Dare and everyone is ready to play, but things quickly spiral when secrets and risky dares collide.

TW: body image issues. eating disorders

Written from the perspective of my female MC, Arianthi.

I’m adding a different mood playlist to each installment of this series, just songs that I listened to while writing and feel embody each part of the story.

Blackpink - Playing with Fire

Ursine Vulpine - Wicked Game (cover)

Dark Sarah ft. JP Leppaluoto - Dance with the Dragon

Arctic Monkeys - Do I Wanna Know

Hollyn - I Wasn’t Good Enough for You

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Everyone refreshes their drinks and we all gather in a circle on the floor; Belphie immediately lays his head in my lap and Asmo cuddles up on my other side.

“Hey sleepyhead, you have to play too,” I say, ruffling Belphie’s hair gently.

He gives me a lazy smirk. “I will. I can’t wait to learn all your secrets.”

“Oi! I wanted to sit next to Arianthi!” Mammon complains.

“Too bad!” Asmo and Belphie say in unison, wrapping their arms around me.

I shoot Mammon an apologetic smile and he grumbles as he walks away and sits next to Simeon.

“Ok, what are the rules to this human game?” Diavolo’s eyes are glittering with excitement, while Lucifer looks like he’s trying to hold off a migraine.

“Super simple,” I answer. “Everyone takes turns asking another person truth or dare. If you say truth you have to answer whatever question you’re asked, no matter what it is. If you say dare then you have to do the dare, no exceptions.”

“Ok! Everybody is clear on the rules so let’s go! Birthday girl gets the first turn!” Asmo squeals in excitement.

I take a glance around the circle and settle on Beel, innocently eating cake.

Perfect.

“Hey Beel, truth or dare?”

He looks up from his plate in surprise. “Ummm, dare I guess?”

You truly are a kind and generous God. Good lookin’ out.

I shoot my eyes heavenward for a moment, then refocus on Beel.

“I dare you to streak around the House of Lamentation. Twice.”

“Urk!” Beel chokes on his cake, and Mammon slaps him on the back. Eyes watering and cheeks flushing Beel looks at me. “For real?”

“It’s the rules.” I shrug innocently.

Asmo is cackling with glee next to me, Diavolo is snickering, Lucifer looks like he wants to die, Solomon and Satan are wearing matching smirks, Simeon looks scandalized, Belphie is silently shaking with laughter, Leviathan is red to the tips of his ears, Mammon is glaring at me, and Barbatos is stone faced.

Beel shoves his plate away and heaves a sigh as he gets to his feet. He slowly starts stripping down, until he gets down to his boxers. He starts to walk to the front door before I stop him.

“Uh uh Beel, boxers too,” I say with a smirk.

He blushes all the way down to his chest and quickly steps out of his boxers.

“Goddamn Beel!” I exclaim without thinking. I already knew he was ripped but this....... this is perfection.

“Arianthi!” Mammon claps his hands over my eyes while Beel rushes out the front door.

We all rush to the windows to watch Beel complete his laps around the house. Mammon stays close behind me trying to cover my eyes every chance he gets.

“I could give you something to look at that you’d like better than Beel,” he mutters in my ear angrily.

I turn around and look him. “Do you really mean that Mammon? You want me to see you like that?”

“W-w-well I mean,” Mammon stutters are he turns bright red.

He’s saved as Beel sprints back into the house and slams the door behind him.

I roll my eyes, frustrated with his emotional constipation. “Yeah, that’s what I thought.”

I turn and start walking back into the living room.

He grabs my arm to stop me. “Whaddya mean by that?”

I try to jerk away from him but he holds tight.

“C’mon, answer me.” Blue eyes meet mine, pleading.

“Let her go.”

We both jump at the sound of Diavolo’s stern voice behind us. Mammon opens his mouth to argue, but Lucifer’s presence next to Diavolo stops him. He lets go of my arm and takes a step back.

“It’s fine guys, we were just talking.” I give them a quick smile. “Let’s get back to the game.”

We all settle into our places in the living room.

“Ok Asmo, since this was your idea it’s your turn,” I tell him.

Asmo grins, slowly looking around the circle until he settles on Solomon. “Solomon, who has been your best lover since you’ve come to the Devildom?”

I roll my eyes and laugh a little.

Typical Asmo. He has to know the answer will be him.

Solomon takes a sip of his drink, his expression serious. “Definitely Arianthi.”

Oh shit.

“What?!” Mammon’s yell is so loud everyone winces.

The rest of the group immediately starts bombing Solomon with questions.

Asmo turns to look at me, his expression equal parts shock and pride. “Seriously?”

I shrug and take a long drink. “Yeaaaaaah.”

“I’m both jealous and intigued,” Asmo says, curling a lock of my hair around his finger.

“Asmo! Get your filthy hands of Arianthi!” Mammon yells again.

He whirls around to look at Solomon. “When the hell did this happen?”

Mammon turns back to look at me. “I thought I was supposed to be your first man?”

I stare into my drink, knowing I have nothing to feel guilty about but feeling guilty anyway.

Solomon looks at him and shrugs calmly. “It was Asmo’s turn and he’s asked one question. I believe that’s all I’m obligated to answer.”

“You motherfu-”

“Ok, so I think it’s Diavolo’s turn,” Asmo interrupts.

“Solomon, truth or dare?” Diavolo looks unusually serious.

The brothers and Simeon all turn to look at Solomon, waiting on his answer.

Well, damn.

I chug some more of my drink, already dreading where this is going.

“Truth.”

Goddamn you Solomon. Goddamn you and your magic dick and your pretty face.

“When did you and Arianthi have your little encounter?” Diavolo’s tone is cool, his expression unusually serious.

Lucifer tenses next to him, while Barbatos is almost smiling.

Once again, Solomon is the epitome of calm. “The first week of the exchange.”

Solomon directs his next comment at Mammon. “At that time I believe you were still refusing to call her by her name and doing anything you could to avoid your responsibilities towards her.”

Solid point Solomon. Solid point.

Mammon starts to stand but is yanked down roughly by Beel.

“Your turn Mammon,” Diavolo says, not taking his eyes off of Solomon.

These motherfuckers.

I realize what’s happening a moment too late.

They’re working together. Assholes.

I scowl are the carpet.

Belphie wraps his arms around my waist and hugs me. He realizes what’s happening too. I relax a little more when I feel Asmo's hand squeeze mine.

“Solomon, truth or dare?”

“Truth.”

Of course Solomon isn’t going to back down from their little game.

I finish my drink and start in on Belphie’s.

Lucifer attempts to cut in. “Maybe you should choose someone who hasn’t gone twice in a row Mammon.”

“Nonsense. We play by the human rules,” Diavolo answers before Mammon can.

Lucifer sits back and waits for Mammon’s question like the rest of us.

“Where did this little hook up happen huh? ‘Cuz it sure didn’t happen here, I woulda known about it.” Mammon is straight up pissed and my guilt is slowly turning into annoyance.

He has no right to be angry over something that happened months ago, before we had even started hanging out. He didn’t have a claim on me then. Shit, he doesn’t even have a claim on me now.

“At the library.” Solomon smirks. “If you would like specifics on where in the library- on one of the study tables, against a bookshelf, in front of the window that looks out over the quad, and in one of the armchairs.”

Diavolo and Lucifer look like they’re in shock, Simeon looks like he desperately wants to be anywhere else, Beel is still eating cake not even tuned into what’s happening, Levi turns red and stares intently at the carpet, while Asmo, Belphie, and Satan are outright giggling. Barbatos just looks at me with a smirk.

“Wha-?” Mammon is so angry he can’t even speak.

“It was a busy afternoon.” Solomon takes another drink, looking at Mammon over the rim of his glass.

I snort into my own drink, laughing, Asmo’s giggles infecting me.

Mammon looks at me, a mixture of rage and hurt on his face. “You really think this is funny? Him just spouting out your business like you’re just some -”

“Some what?” Belphie interrupts, suddenly alert.

Mammon bites back a response. “Nothing,” he mumbles.

Belphie looks up at me from his position in my lap. “I think I’d like to take a turn now. Arianthi, truth or dare?”

“Dare.”

There is no way possible this night can get any worse. Might as well just go hard in the paint.

“I dare you to kiss,” Belphie trails off as he looks around the group. “Levi.”

Levi’s head shoots up so fast I’m afraid he cracks his neck, while Mammon lets out a low growl of pure rage.

I shrug and finish off Belphie’s drink, before I slowly crawl across the carpet to Levi. When I reach him I throw one leg over him and straddle his lap.

Levi is blushing so hard I can almost feel the heat radiating off his face.

I put my hands on his shoulders and lean down to whisper in his ear. “Hey, if you’re uncomfortable or you don’t want to do this we don’t have to. I’ll make Belphie give me something else.”

Levi doesn’t say anything for a long moment, refusing to meet my eyes.

“It’s ok Levi, I don’t want this if you don’t,” I reassure him as I move to get off of his lap.

His hands shoot out and grip my hips, firmly settling me down into his lap.

“I want this,” he whispers so softly I can barely hear him.

I can feel everyone’s gaze on us as I tip Levi’s chin up so I can look at him. He’s still a little flushed, looking nervous but also excited. I can feel his hands shaking as he holds onto my hips.

I gently bring my mouth down to his. I can hear the wolf whistles and Mammon’s shout of anger before I devote my full attention to the kiss.

Levi is clumsy at first, pressing his lips a little too roughly against mine. I lick at his lower lip, encouraging him to open his mouth, flicking his tongue with mine when he allows me access. He moans into my mouth at the intimate contact, sliding his hands under my robe to stroke my back, before pulling me down while simultaneously thrusting up against me.

My eyes fly open at the contact and I gasp, giving Levi an opening to fully explore my mouth with his tongue. I eventually pull away, giving his lower lip a little bite before I rest my forehead against his. We’re both panting a little, and I reluctantly pull away from him to return to my spot next to Asmo and Belphie.

I sneak a look at Diavolo and Mammon. Diavolo looks extremely displeased and Mammon looks like he wants to murder Levi. Mammon glares at me with something like betrayal on his face. I return his look with a stubborn one of my own.

He doesn’t own me. He can’t even admit that he cares about me.

“Damn.” Belphie smirks at me as I reclaim my seat.

“Ok Satan, your turn,” he calls across the room to his brother.

“Mammon, truth or dare?”

Oh no. That’s the smile that means nothing good is about to happen.

I try to telepathically beg Satan to forget whatever he has planned.

“Truth I guess.” Mammon shrugs.

“How do you really feel about Arianthi?” Satan asks.

Oh no. No no no no no. Belphie and Satan are trying to force Mammon to say how he really feels about me. On one hand, yes, he needs to admit it or quit trying to claim me. On the other hand.......this could be a total disaster.

Every eye in the room is now fixated on Mammon.

“Whaddaya mean?” Mammon scowls.

“It’s pretty obvious that you have a crush on her. Do you want to date her? Will you miss her when the exchange program is over? Or would you want her to stay?”

Mammon shrugs. “What do I care what some stupid human does? She leaves and it’ll be like she was never here. Not like I’d ever date her, I’m THE great Mammon after all. I’m a damn model............. if somebody’s going to be with me they have to look good. I’m one of the lords of the Devildom, why would I settle for some chubby, average looking human?”

Suddenly all the air is sucked out of the room. I can only focus on Mammon. I halfway register Belphie sitting up and Asmo gasping next to me. I can’t breathe. He could have broken one of my bones and it would have hurt less. Suddenly the old chorus of doubts begin running through my mind.

Not good enough, not skinny enough, not smart enough, not pretty enough, never never never enough.

I’m on my feet before I realize what I’m doing. “I uh, I’m going to run to the bathroom real quick.”

I’m faintly aware of Diavolo trying to grasp for my hand before I bolt out of the living room and up the stairs to my bedroom.

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Solomon looks at Mammon stoically. “You really are the stupidest demon in the entire Devildom.”

“I can’t believe you said that,” Simeon scolds. “That was unnecessarily cruel Mammon.”

The twins glare at him while rage twists Asmo’s delicately pretty features. “You asshole! You complete and total scumbag! If I could set you on fire I would!”

“I didn’t know this was going to happen,” Satan says softly, a guilty look on his face.

“No one blames you,” Lucifer reassures him, while Barbatos and Diavolo nod in agreement.

Levi glances nervously at the door, wondering if he should go after Arianthi.

I don’t want her to hurt herself. I don’t know how she’ll take this. And I’m the only one who really knows........

“Why’s everybody all mad at me?” Mammon asks, throwing his hands up in the air. “I just answered Satan’s damn question.”

Levi snaps. “You know why? Because we all know it was a bullshit answer! We all know you want her but for whatever stupid reason you won’t admit it! She cares about you even though you’d sell her for a fucking Grimm and you bounce back and forth between being jealous and treating her like she’s replaceable! She’s deserves so much more than you. So much fucking more.”

Levi launches himself at Mammon and the room erupts into utter chaos.

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I open the door to my room as quietly as I can and sigh in relief when I see Luke is still asleep. I pass my hand over the closed door, murmuring the words to the spell that Solomon taught me to ward the door against demons. Only humans and angels can pass through.

I can’t handle seeing the boys or Diavolo right now.

I numbly gather up some clothes as I make my way to my bathroom. Belphie’s sweats. Beel’s t-shirt. Levi’s hoodie.

I drop the clothes on the tile floor and softly click the lock. I lower the robe Asmo gifted me and look at myself in the mirror.

Fat arms. Thick legs with cellulite on my thighs. Love handles.

I pinch at the excess skin and fat on my stomach and feel the oncoming sting of tears.

It’s stupid to be surprised by this. So fucking stupid. Stupid to get your hopes up. Of course he doesn’t care about me. He’s right. He’s absolutely right.

Panic starts to rise as my shoulders tense up and my stomach clenches. I struggle to control my breathing as I remember everything I’ve ate and drank tonight.

Get it out, get it out, get it out. Do better, be better, be worthy. Get it out.

I turn on the shower to drown out any noise and I reach for my toothbrush on the sink. I kneel in front of the toilet as I gag myself. I’m vaguely aware of someone knocking on the door and I think I hear Luke’s voice. I ignore it.

Get it out. Do better. Have more control. Be better. Be worthy.

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Luke runs out of Arianthi’s room and down the stairs, speeding towards the living room where he can hear raised voices.

“Hey!” He gasps, screeching to a halt just inside the doorway.

He’s momentarily speechless watching the scene unfolding. Mammon has a bloody lip, while Levi has the beginnings of a black eye. Beel restraints Levi and Lucifer holds onto Mammon. Everyone is screaming except for Barbatos and Simeon who are backed into a corner, out of the fray.

“Hey!” Luke shouts. He shrinks back as every gaze in the room turns to him.

Simeon crosses the room to stand next to him. “What’s going on Luke? Is everything ok?”

“I-I woke up in Arianthi’s room and I heard her in the bathroom. I think she’s sick,” Luke answers softly.

Levi’s head snaps up. “What do you mean sick?”

Luke hesitates at the intensity in his voice.

“What do you mean sick!” Levi shouts.

“The shower was on so I couldn’t hear very well but I’m pretty sure she was throwing up. And crying. I knocked on the door but she wouldn’t answer me and it was locked, and I was worried so I came looking for you guys because I didn’t know-”

Levi wrenches away with from Beel with a sudden burst of strength and sprints out of the room, moving towards the stairs. The brothers and Diavolo hesitate for a moment before chasing after him, leaving Luke, Solomon, Barbatos, and Simeon behind.

Luke looks at the others, worried and confused. “What’s going on? Is Arianthi going to be ok?”

“I really don’t know,” Simeon whispers.

230 notes · View notes

enviedear · 4 years

Text

that damn american ᶠᵒᵘʳ

you seem different

DESCRIPTION ⌙ in which draco shows y/n the room of requirement, and she realizes she likes him more than she thought

PAIRING ⌙ draco x fem!reader

WORD COUNT ⌙ 1.6k

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

chapter one | chapter two | chapter three | chapter four

chapter four, i hope you all enjoy! let me know if you do :) also gonna rec some some songs from the playlist

f**kin’ love songs - awa and 505 - arctic monkeys

“i’m a slytherin prefect y/n, if we get caught, i know how to lie. but flitch is an idiot squib so don’t worry. now shut up and follow me.” draco grumbles.

your newest friend has proved to be surprisingly fun. in the last three weeks he’s taken you on countless adventures and tonight is no different. this evening, he’s showing you the room of requirement.

for the whole day, he’s been impatient and ready to show you this room. you can’t blame him, you were practically bouncing off the walls all day too. it left april and sophie a little annoyed as you refused to take them along. but you’ve found it was best to hang out with draco alone, or else he gets moody.

“here we are. now, think about the room, envision it, be specific in what you want.” draco tells you.

you do as you’re told and after a minute you see a door form in the stone.

“this is amazing..” you mutter, tracing the handle.

draco grins, “well, go in.”

you open the door and step into the room, draco right behind you. you’re amazed, the room is exactly as you thought. exactly.

“is this your room? really? you could have made it anything and you make it your bedroom. i knew i should’ve picked.” draco chides.

“oh shut up. i thought you’d like it. you’ll probably never get to see the real one. and now we could do what all friends do, have a sleepover.” you say, hugging his arm.

“fine, but i expect to be shown around.” the boy retorts, stiffening a little at your touch.

you nod and let him go, making your way to the far left of the room.

“this is my desk, where i cry over summer work, mindlessly scroll through twitter, and read. i once snuck a boy over and he begged to fuck me on this desk. of course, i couldn’t do that to her, and i told him to leave.” you chuckle, stroking the wood.

“i didn’t need to know that.” draco grimaces.

you shove him, “next is my shelf of plants. these are my babies and i swear to god if they’re not being watered while i’m gone i will hex my mother. which reminds me, i should text her.”

“right beside it is my picture wall. it’s kind of embarrassing, i have super old pictures up there. i should warn you, april used to dress like a farmer.”

draco pauses at the pictures, looking at them all.

“who’s that?” draco asks, pointing to and old picture of your grandparents.

“my grandma and pa. i think they were seventeen in this picture.” you reply, looking at your grandparents smiling young faces.

“that’s cute that they were together even then. my mother thought that pansy and i would be like that, but pansy is too, well, pansy.” he mumbles.

you smile at him, “whatever you say draco.”

he sits on your bed, “i’m being serious, i have someone else in mind.”

your eyes bulge and you look at him with a smirk, “and who might that be?”

he rolls his eyes, “i would love to tell you, but i’m not ready the tell the loudmouth american.”

“i can keep a secret!”

“i’ll tell you when the time is right. for now, i want to learn how to google.”

it takes an hour. a full hour just to explain the concept of google to draco. throughout the process he keeps asking stupid questions.

‘you’re sure there’s no magic involved?’

‘you can learn anything from this?’

‘what do you mean i can’t search that?’

like you said, stupid questions.

but it didn’t really bother you. it was nice seeing the platinum haired boy learn about modern living. and it was even nicer to see him begin to enjoy yet another muggle invention.

you stare at him at he types in a search, his eyebrows furrowed and hair unkempt. he looks different than the boy you first met. almost happier and more carefree. his pale complexion has some sun from the countless hours the two of you have spent at black lake. his fingernails are also now coated in a layer of light green polish.

“stop staring at me.” he grins, turning his face toward you.

“i can’t help it.” you say, fighting back a smile.

his cheeks turn a light pink shade, “and why is that, l/n?”

“you seem different.”

“is that bad?” he asks.

“no, it’s actually really nice.”

draco bites his lip and looks back down to the computer, “i think we should head to bed, don’t you think?”

you nod your head and close the laptop, placing it on your nightstand.

“did you bring pjs?” you ask him, reaching under your bed for your own bag that holds your sleepwear.

“um, no. why would i have brought them? i didn’t know i was sleeping here, l/n.”

you stick your tongue out at him, “i think i have some of quinn’s old clothes in here. hold on.”

you rummage through your drawers, trying to find clothes to fit draco, until you finally come across an old wampus annual bake sale tee and some black and orange flannel bottoms.

you turn around, only to find your friend shirtless.

your mouth opens, ready to tease him.

“oh please, i can’t sleep in a shirt.” he groans.

and you can’t help but to look at his chest and torso. he’s so muscular and lean. but before you let yourself be sucked into fantasizing about your friend, you throw him the pj bottoms.

“i’m gonna change in the closet, you can stay out here. just let me know when you’re done.” you say, rushing into the closet.

you change quickly, but stay inside for a bit longer, thinking about draco.

your sweet, sarcastic, quidditch loving, spontaneous dickhead of a friend. and it’s then you realize that draco is not just your friend.

you actually like the guy.

and you’re about to share a bed with him.

this should be great, but you’re too scared to ruin the friendship between the two of you. the one you’ve worked so hard for.

when draco shouts that he’s done changing you quickly compose yourself and slip into your bed, right beside him. he turns off the lights with a simple flick of his wand and eases next to you.

“you don’t snore, do you?” he asks.

you feel his legs, wrap between yours and for a second you forget to answer.

“oh um, shit, i don’t know.”

he huffs and pulls you into him, pulling your curls away from his face and onto the pillow.

“goodnight draco.” you whisper, suddenly deathly aware of the close proximity between the two of you.

he rubs your back, “goodnight l/n.”

when the you wake up, draco is still beside you, arms around you and face nuzzled into your neck.

it takes a few minutes but he finally wakes up, separating from you.

you miss his flushed face as you go to the closet to change, and he doesn’t pay attention to your stuttering each time you look into his eyes.

“i have to study for charms today. i’ll see you after lunch though, i think blaise wants us all to head to hogsmeade.” draco says, as the two of you slip out of the room of requirement.

“alright, sounds good. i’ve been meaning to try butterbeer.” you smile, avoiding eye contact.

when the two of you enter the common room, you’re greeted by april and blaise, who are playing a game of wizard chess.

“hi y’all! did you have fun last night?” april asks, staring down blaise’s king.

“um, yeah. it was really cool. i’ll have to show you and soph sometime.” you say, taking a seat on the armchair.

“merlin april, hurry up, you play like my grandmother.” blaise chuckles.

the dirty blonde smirks at him before making a move, “checkmate, zabini.”

blaise gives her a smile.

“come on zabini, let’s head to the library. i have a bloody charms essay due.” draco tells him.

blaise rolls his eyes, “sure, but i don’t know why i need to come.”

draco scoffs, “if you want to do your essay with crabbe then be my guest, i was just trying to be nice.”

blaise looks over to the fire, where crabbe is burning the tip of his wand. the brown eyed boy scratches the back of his neck before getting up and following draco out of the common room.

“he’s so cute.” april breathes out, staring at the door the boys left out of.

“zabini?” you ask, confused.

“yes girl. and he’s so funny. and sweet. i told soph last night that i wanted to take him out on a date. and i think i’m gonna,” she looks at you, eyes begging. “will you pretty please double date with us this evening at hogsmeade. sophie said no.”

you furrow your eyebrows, “i’d love to but i don’t have anyone to take along.”

she gives you a deadpan look.

“what?” you question.

“you’d take draco. i know you’re just friends, but if you talk to him i’m sure he’d be fine with it.” she says.

you sigh, “i’ll ask, but no-”

she interrupts you, “oh thank you honey! i love you y/n.”

you don’t tell her about your crush on the grey eyed boy. even though you’re dying to get it off your chest.

but it’s probably for the best. he said himself last night that he has someone in mind. and what good would it do telling him, it might ruin the friendship. even if he did like you, there’s only so much time in a year until you’re back in american. i just couldn’t work.

even if you really want it to.

‘fucking great.’

#—myfics !#Draco Malfoy #draco lucius malfoy #draco fanfiction #draco malfoy fanfiction #draco x y/n #draco x female reader #draco x you #draco malfoy series #draco x american! reader #draco x ilvernmorny! reader #draco malfoy x slytherin #draco x reader series

103 notes · View notes

1-800-hellraiser · 3 years

Text

Underfell!Sans x Female!Reader

Hello! I'm back with an Underfell Sans oneshot! I'm an absolute S I M P for this man. Anyways, PLEASE READ THE DISCLAIMER BEFORE THE ONESHOT!!! Underfell is NOT my Au, it belongs to @VictheUnderfella. Undertale is made by Toby Fox, Sans and Underfell!Sans aren't my characters! The reader will use She/Her pronouns (sorry dudes and nb pals). Have fun reading :)

❗DISCLAIMER❗

This oneshot contains mentions of verbal and physical abuse, mentions of the aftermath of abuse, smoking, and swearing! If you are triggered by/ uncomfortable with reading about these topics, I suggest you don't read this oneshot. If you're not triggered by/ uncomfortable with reading about these topics, you can proceed forwards.

I also made a reader insert, your character is not a human. The character can be found here. I will write this in a way where it includes everyone, I just made the ref sheet so I can at least have something to go off of in terms of outfit/makeup/species of monster.

I Wanna Be Yours

Word count: 3,936

Song: I Wanna Be Yours - Arctic Monkeys

/////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

"Secrets I have held in my heart are harder to hide than I thought. Maybe I just wanna be yours. I wanna be yours."

Flick. Your lighter lights with a simple motion of your thumb. You hold the lit cigarette to your dark colored lips and take a puff. You developed the nasty habit of smoking when you first became a part of the Royal Guard. Being a Guardswomen is tough, considering you actually had a kid fall down into the underground a day ago. You never thought it would happen to be honest, maybe you can finally get out of this hell hole and away from the insufferable assholes that inhabit it. Except for Sans. Sans has been your only escape, your safe haven. You met him through his brother, Papyrus. When you first became a Royal Guardswomen, you met Papyrus and Sans. After having a somewhat awkward conversation with the smaller skeleton, you both hit it off instantly. You two actually share a sentry station near the Ruins.

Both of you share puns and stories with one another. Stories about the good, the bad, and sometimes, the ugly. Sans isn't the most trusting person. It took you a while for him to open up to you about his past. About a year and a half to be exact. Once he told you a bit about his past, you felt so bad for him. Even though he doesn't want pity, you can't help but feel bad. His brother is a very verbally and physically abusive person, especially when things don't go his way. Papyrus usually takes his anger out on someone, and that someone is usually Sans. You want to take him away from this situation. You want him to live an abuse-free life. You want him to be happy. As soon as you leave the underground, you want to take him away with you, if he lets you, of course. But for now, you just have to be there for him when he needs you to be.

"Ay Y/n, you okay?" Sans says, waving his skeletal hand in front of your face. "Uh, yeah, I'm good, I just kinda zoned out." You mumble, taking another drag of your cigarette. Sans looks at you skeptically before returning back to what he was doing. Suddenly Sans turns to you "Ya wanna go to Grillby's?" He asks. "Yeah, I got nothin' else to do." You respond. He takes your hand and teleports into the small diner. You two take a seat at your usual spot at the bar. "I'll take my usual," Sans says to Grillby, you order your f/f. You and Sans just chill and talk while enjoying your meals. After cackling at Sans' story of Papyrus somehow getting his head stuck in a bucket, he goes quiet. You ask him what's wrong. "Can I ask you somethin' Bud?" He asks. "Shoot at me." You reply. "What would you do if you lost the person you love most?" He questions, you're a bit stunned at the serious question.

"I think I'd go crazy. I don't think I could live without the person I love most. Why do you ask?" You question the edgy-looking skeleton. "No reason, I'm just curious 's all." He says, shrugging. You nodd skeptically, you knew he was going to say something else, but then decided against it. After your meal, you realize it's actually pretty late. About six pm, to be exact, both of your sentry shifts ended two hours ago. "Shit! I gotta go, Papyrus is going to crucify me if I'm not back by six. Same time tomorrow, Dollface?" You chuckle, "Same time everyday, Sans," You retort. "I wish he meant to call me Dollface." Wow, that thought came out of nowhere. A blush spreads across your p/f/c (pastel favorite color) cheeks. You and Sans always call each other pet names, platonically, of course. Sighing, you begin walking to your apartment. There was a small apartment complex behind Grillby's that you live in. You used to live in Waterfall, but moved to Snowdin once you got paired with Sans to your sentry station. Even though sentry can change in an instant, you and Sans mostly stay in Snowdin.

Arriving at your apartment, you fish your keys out of your pants pocket. You open the door and sigh a sigh of content. After chucking off your boots near the door, you trudge to your bedroom and change into a pair of black sweatpants and a baggy blue shirt that says "Big Dick Is Back In Town" on it in Times New Roman font. You turn out the lights and collapse on your bed. Within seconds, you're fast asleep. At seven thirty am your alarm rings in your ear. You proceed with your morning routine, you shower, do your hair, put on some makeup, and get dressed. When you go to get dressed, you realise something. "Fuck I forgot to wash my work clothes yesterday!" You groan. You literally have four of the same pairs of pants and shirts you wear for work. You sigh exasperatedly, you have to wear the same ones you did yesterday again. Grabbing your phone, you set a reminder to wash your work clothes tonight at six thirty.

After that, you put on your boots and leave your apartment. Taking a few shortcuts, you arrive at your shared sentry station, cigarette in between your clawed fingers. You sigh, Sans isn't even at the station yet. Anxiously, you wait at the station. About ten minutes later, Sans finally appears at the station, panting and shaking. "Are you okay?" You ask, concerned. "Does it look like I'm fuckin' okay to ya'?" He snaps back. Shocked, you stay silent. You know he doesn't mean to snap at you when he's mad, it's best to give him some space for a bit. You excuse yourself from the station, saying you forgot your phone at your apartment. "Make it quick, I don't want Papyrus to catch you." He says, your breath hitches. Oh, so that's what happened this morning. "I'll be careful, I promise." You reassure, taking a shortcut through the woods to Grillby's. You go in, and order Sans' usual and your f/f to go. As soon as you get the food you leave for the station again. You pop out the same way you entered, right behind the station.

"I'm back." You announce, setting the plastic bag containing food in the front of the sentry station. "Where'd that come from?!" "Uh...Grillby's?" You say, "No-I mean-" sans sighs "I thought you had to go grab your phone from your apartment." He says, you chuckle. "Yeah, I lied. I thought you needed a little pick-me-up, considering the way you came to the station this morning." You explain, tail swishing a bit behind you at the uncomfortable subject. "Oh, well, thank you. I appreciate it, Doll." He says in a sincere manner. You love when he's soft with you when no one is around. In the Underground, it's considered "weak" to show genuine emotion outside of your home. You wish it wasn't like that, but sadly, this is the reality you have to live in for now. For now, you can only be there for Sans when he needs to show his emotions. He can't even show emotions in his own home, Papyrus will be a dick and judge him for it. It's not fair at all.

"Ya alright, Y/n?" Sans asks, pulling out of your thoughts. "Hm? Oh yeah." You respond, now realising how angry you must look. "Yeah, you looked pissed. Is somethin' up?" He asks, you sigh. You knew you'd have to bring this up eventually. "I'm just, so angry at your brother." "Why?" You look down at Sans. "Sans, he treats you like utter garbage! Why do you keep going back to him?" You sigh out exasperatedly. "Because I care about him, even if he doesn't care about me." He says sadly. Your e/c eyes widen. You get it now. He's the only one he has left that's his family. "Sans, I'm sorry. I know Papyrus is your brother, I'm just worried. All the scars he leaves you with. What if he damages you permanently?" You explain, biting on your black claw. Another habit you obtained from joining the Royal Guard. You look at Sans for an answer, you see a gentle red blush spread across his face. "I appreciate you caring Bud, I really do. But I can handle it myself." He says, looking you in the eyes. His red pinpricks aligning with your e/c irises. You sigh and avert your gaze down.

"Okay, if you say so. But if anything ever happens, call me, I'll let you stay with me, okay?" You say, giving Sans your number, witten down on a tiny slip of paper. He says he will. The rest of the day goes off without a hitch. You and Sans finish your shift (on time this time) and part ways until tomorrow. You almost kick your boots off at the door before your phone starts going off. You quickly pull it out of your pants pocket, you sigh in relief. It's just the alarm you set for your laundry. You take your bin full of laundry to the basement of the complex and throw your clothes in one of the cleaner looking machines. As you put your laundry bin down next to the washer, your phone starts to go off. You check and Sans is trying to call you. You immediately answer the call. "Hey dude, what's up?" You say into the speaker. "Y-y/n, could I come over?" You hear his raspy, pained voice through the receiver.

"Yes, of course! Do you need any help? You sound hurt?" You say panicked. "No Dollface, I got it." He says, you do not accept that. "Too bad. I'm coming over anyway." Before he could protest, you hang up the phone and speed out of your apartment complex. Thankfully, Sans' house isn't that far. After a short, speedwalk, you're staring down his front door. You rasp on the wooden door, waiting for a response. You were going to knock again, Sans opens the door, you let out a small gasp. Sans looks terrible, he was covered in his own blood. "Come on, you're staying with me tonight," you say, taking his boney hand. As soon as you start walking, you notice he also has a limp. If Papyrus were some random ass monster and not Sans' brother, you'd be covered in dust by now. You have a very motherly instinct, but only for Sans. You've never felt this way about somebody else before, you have no idea why either.

Once you and Sans reach your apartment, you bring him to your bathroom and seat him on the toilet (lid closed, of course). Grabbing your medical kit and some alcohol, you return to the bathroom and sit on the edge of your tub. "Could you take your sweater off? It'll be easier to clean your wounds." You ask, Sans slowly takes off his crimson red sweater. Suddenly, your bathroom gets really warm. You gasp at Sans' three cracked ribs, a bunch of cuts all over the others. You look up at him with concern written across your p/f/c face. "I don't want to talk about it right now." Sans mumbles, looking down. You take Sans' cheek bones in your hands, you tilt his head up to look at you. "That's okay, I'm just worried about you. You really don't deserve this Sans." You say, pulling your hands away from his face. You pour some alcohol on the washcloth and press it to one of the cuts on his ribs. He curses under his breath as you continue to clean him up. You'll have to call Alphys later about Sans' ribs, see what she can do about them.

"Alright Sans, just chill on my couch for right now. Uh, I gotta go real quick, I'll be right back," you say awkwardly, he gives you a thumbs up. Unlocking your door, you head down to switch your laundry. Once you come back up, you notice Sans wasn't sitting on the couch anymore. You panic and begin looking around your apartment, you stop in the entrance of your tiny kitchen, Sans was making something. "Sans, what are you doing?" You ask, he jumps a bit, then winces. "I'm making us dinner?" Sans says, the room starts to get warm again. "Sans, you don't have to do that. You should sit down and relax." You encourage, he shakes his head at your proposition. "Nah Dollface, this is the least I can do for you." He says, continuing to cook a mysterious food. You come up behind Sans, "Sans please, I appreciate the gesture, but you have three broken ribs, you need to sit down and chill out." Sans sighs "Fineeeeeee." He whines, you chuckle at him. "What were you gonna make anyway?" "Nothin much, just some Spaghetti and meatballs." "Okay, gotcha." You say, taking over the kitchen to make dinner.

Wiping your forehead of sweat, you finished cooking dinner. You walk into the living room, and set his and your plate on the coffee table in front of the couch. You sit next to him and start eating. "Holy fuck Doll, this shit's amazing!" Sans exclaims, shoving more pasta into his mouth. You chuckle and thank him, as you keep eating. After you both are finished eating you run down to the basement one more time to grab your laundry and return to your apartment. On your way. Back to tour apartment however, you notice that Sans has been calling you 'Doll' and 'Dollface' a lot more than he used to. You shrug it off as him being thankful for your hospitality. You return to your apartment for the last time with your laundry basket in your hands. "I'll be right back, I just gotta put away my laundry." You say, Sans looks over the back of the couch at you and gives you a nod of understanding. You quickly fold your clothes so Sans doesn't have to wait awkwardly on your couch. As soon as you're done, you put the basket in your closet and leave. When you return to your living room, you discover Sans asleep on the couch.

A small smile forms on your face as you go get him a blanket. After that, you change into a red tye-dye pair of sweatpants and a tank top. Soon after you lay down, you drift into a deep slumber. A few hours later, you are ripped from your sleep by a scream. You pull off your blanket and run to the living room. "Sans?!" You say worriedly and panicked. You see him tossing and turning on the couch, he's having a nightmare. Sans has told you about these haunting nightmares before, it usually happens after a bad day with Papyrus. Not really knowing how to deal with this situation, you sit on the edge of the couch and try to reach for him. As soon as your hand makes contact with his shoulder, he pulls away and curls up into a tiny ball. "Sans, it's just me." You say gently, scooting a bit closer to his trembling and sobbing form. You try to comfort him again, and he doesn't pull away this time. You pull him a bit closer to you. He rests his head on your chest and clenches his arms around you. You massage his skull with your fingertips and whisper sweet nothings to him.

After a while of comforting him, he falls asleep again. So you lay on the couch, Sans' head resting on top of you, blanket draped over your two sleeping bodies. After a few minutes, you fall back to sleep. You awake to one of Mettaton's shows. You were never interested in the performer robot that much, but this episode was a (what looks to be) a well made CGI human defusing a bunch of bombs. After a while, you forget about Sans laying on your chest, until he wakes up and jumps off of you like a startled cat. "Jesus! Just scare the shit outta me why don't ya?" You say, sarcasm lacing your tone. "Ah, sorry 'bout that Doll." "You're fine Sans." You chuckle. Looking up at Sans, you notice a light red blush across his cheekbones. Your heart skips a beat as you look at him, then you get up not wanting to make this any more awkward than it already is. Opening the fridge, you look for something to eat. You have eggs, bacon, and pancake mix in one of your cupboards, you take out all the ingredients you need for breakfast and start cooking. Sans insists on helping, but you tell him he needs to to relax because of his broken ribs.

After a half hour, breakfast is completely done. You fix you and Sans a plate and bring it to the couch. Sans looks very fixated on Mettaton's show. This was a rerun of a previous show. You set the breakfast down in front him, he immediately begins choking down food. "Holy shit Sans! Slow down your going to choke." You scold. "But we're gonna be late to work if we don't." He explains, scarfing down his meal. You give him a confused look. "Work? We're not going to work today, we have to call Alphys over to see what she can do about your ribs." You say, you can feel Sans look at you like you had just told him you had a death wish. "I can't, Papyrus would freak out-" "Papyrus can suck my dick!" You cut him off out of anger. "Your health is WAY more important to me than what Papyrus might do." You snap, Sans sits in shock. You've never snapped at him like that before. Looking at his face, you realise what you just did. "Sans I'm sorry. I didn't mean to snap at you like that, I just got to frustrated." You explain, Sans' face softens at your words. "Nah it's okay, I completely understand where you're coming from." Sans sighs, and rubs the back of his neck anxiously.

To defuse the thick tension, you tell Sans you have to call Alphys and you'll be back shortly. You shuffle awkwardly to your room to make the call. Pressing the contact "Weeb Lord'' with a picture you took off of Alphys' social media (it's a picture of a trash can with several red sparkly filters over it) and press the call button. "Yo Alphys" "What is it Y/n?" She says annoyedly. "So, I need you to come over to look at Sans' ribs." You say, "What? Why?" "Papyrus and him got into it yesterday and he's staying with me for a while." You explain, Alphys makes a noise of understanding from the receiver. "Alright, I'll be over in 10." She says, you can hear her shuffling around. "'Ight see you when you get here." You end, hanging up the phone, not really wanting to go back out and just awkwardly sit with Sans, you decide to have a smoke. Grabbing you cigarettes and lighter, you begin to head out of your apartment. "Where are ya going?" Sans asks, still staring at the T.v. "I'm just going to have a smoke, I'll be back soon." You reassure yourself as you leave the apartment. Maybe taking a smoke wasn't such a good idea. It's cold as balls outside, you shiver as you take drags of your cigarette.

After you're done, you are about to go inside, but a certain nerdy lizard shows up. She follows you up to your apartment and in through the front door. "Ay look what the cat dragged in." Sans teases, Alphys glares at him. "Nah I'm just joking with ya, how've you been?" "Okay, yourself?" She asks back, Sans shrugs. "Eh, could be better." "Yeah, I heard. Would you mind taking your sweater off for me?" She asks, he reluctantly takes off his sweater again. Alphys studies the three cracked ribs for a second. "Hmmm. I think the best I can do for you is to wrap you up. Other than that, there's nothing I can do." She explains, beginning to wrap Sans' ribs. "You'll have to not go to work for a few days, take it easy. No lifting, no fast movements, nothing." She drones on. "Your best option is to stay with Y/n for now so they can help you heal properly." She states, finishing up wrapping Sans' ribs.

You let out a relieved breath you didn't even know you were holding. You had hoped that Alphys would tell him to stay with you, Papyrus would probably just hurt him more in all honesty. "I'm going to give you some morphine to help ease the pain a bit." She says, handing Sans an orange pill bottle. "Take two when you wake up, and when you go to bed, if you notice the pain going away, then only take one per day." She explains. You and Sans both nod. "Thank you, Dr. Alphys." you say, Alphys nods. She takes her tote bag full of medical equipment, bids you and Sans goodbye, then leaves. You sigh, and sit next to Sans on the couch. You begin to think, why do you feel so nervous around him all of a sudden. Your heart skips a beat whenever he calls you "Doll" or "Dollface", his laugh gives you butterflies, you want him to talk to you forever, just listening to his New York accent makes you want to kiss him. You can't take hiding your feelings from him anymore, you have an undying love for Sans.

"S-sans, I gotta tell you something." You stutter out, Sans turns to you. "Yeah, what is it Dollface?" He asks, your heart beats faster and faster every passing second. "I think I wanna be yours, Sans." You manage to get out. As soon as those words leave your mouth, you regret everything. "Y/n, I...I think I wanna be yours too." Sans mumbles, scooching a bit closer to you. You move closer and closer to each other until your thighs are squished together. Sans cups your cheek with his hand, you place one hand on his shoulder and the other behind him. Sans sets his other hand on your thigh, you lean in and give him a smooch on his sharp teeth. You pull away before Sans' hand moves from your cheek to the back of your neck, pulling you into a more passionate kiss. The passionate kiss turns into a makeout session. Both of your mouths moving in sync, tongues sliding over each other, soft moans come from both of your mouths.

After a minute of missing, you two pull away, a string of clear and translucent red saliva connecting to your mouths. "Oh my god....that was amazing." You pant, leaning back into the couch. Sans nods his head in agreement. "I'm so glad you confessed to me, Sweetheart. I've had feelings for you since we were stationed at our sentry station together." Sans explains, your heart skips a beat at your new nickname. You blush. "I'm so glad I met you." You say, leaning your head on his shoulder. "Same here Doll." Sans responds, leaning his skull on your head. You're both finally safe and happy.

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imagine-that-100 · 4 years

Text

Holiday | Part 5 |

Description of Part 1: Alex Turner x Reader (Female) | You’ve been friends with Alex Turner and the other boys from Arctic Monkeys since you were 13. You never for a second thought that Alex would release a song about you though. From late night phone calls and almost constant texting and teasing, you’ve managed to stay close with him over the years. When a pact is established and a holiday is arranged, life seems to be treating you very well. But a month in LA will either make or break you.

Word Count: 15.7K

A/N: Okay so it was a bit more than the hour I promised you before Anon (I’m sorry I wrote a lil bit more). I’m excited that this is coming out now because the next part is where things get real fun. Taglists are always open. Thank you for reading x

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| MASTERLIST IN BIO |

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The next morning, Alex comes into your room to wake you up, which he was scared to do. He knows how temperamental you get when your woken up, so he was definitely anxious about doing it, but felt that he needed to.

You weren’t very impressed to be woken up, but you could have woken up by worse people. And once Alex has got you conscious, he explains his actions apologetically.

“Hey, sorry to wake you up but Miles just phoned and said that we’ve been called into the studio” Alex told you as he sat down on the side of your bed.

You rub your eyes and nod up at him, “It’s okay, don’t worry”

“Well, I was wondering whether you wanted to come? You don’t have to though; you can stay here if you want to” Alex gives you the option, but you can tell he was sort of excited to ask you.

“No, I’d love to come” You said sitting up a bit more enthusiastically. Now you knew you could hear some new music; you definitely didn’t mind being awake.

But then you second guessed yourself like you always do,” But won’t I just get in the way? You know I don’t want to interrupt your music”

You knew about his plans for a second Puppets album a few months before you came because you accidentally rang him when he was in a meeting about it. When he called you back later, he told you the news and you’d been ecstatic.

But you did make sure that he wasn’t due to be recording when you came over. The last thing you wanted was for you to be in the way and Alex feeling like he had to babysit you all the time.

Alex shook his head at you, “You wouldn’t be in the way and I want you there so…”

“Well I’ll come if you’re sure that it’s not a problem” You smile.

Alex smiles at that and asks, “Yeah?”

He was so cute. It was like he could never believe you were actually agreeing with him.

You nod your head, “Yeah definitely” You smile noticing he’s already dressed and ready to go.

He’s in blue jeans and a thin distressed white top that looked incredibly soft. It almost looked like it could tear open any minute.

You had to stop yourself from thinking about that though and you asked him, “When do we need to go?”

Alex pulls his phone out of his pocket and checks the time that you see to be 8:45.

Alex purses his lips before saying, “To avoid traffic maybe leave here about quarter past nine?”

He says it more like a question, but you just smile and agree, “Yeah that’s sweet”

Alex runs a hand through his unkept fresh out of bed hair before he apologises, “I’m sorry. I did say that I wasn’t doing any work whilst you were over here, but people obviously don’t fucking listen to me”

You smile at that before shuffling closer to him to give him a hug and you close your tired eyes once your arms are around his back.

“Don’t worry it’s fine. I’m looking forward to hearing some new stuff” You say as your cheek brushes on the really soft material of his top.

You feel Alex chuckle at that before he hugs you slightly tighter, “I hope you like it. It’s a little different to what you usually hear from me”

“I’ve got no doubt I’ll enjoy it if you’re a part of it Al” You say as you continue to enjoy the warmth he provides you.

You feel Alex rub his hand up and down your back and you smile when he softly says, “You really like my music, don’t you?”

You laugh at that and nod, “Yeah, I don’t listen to much else in comparison to the amount I listen to you”

“You better stream the fuck out of this album when it comes out then” Alex tells you, trying not to laugh because he knew for a fact, he didn’t need to tell you.

“You know full well I will have it on repeat for at least a month when it comes out” You say releasing him from your hug. You sit back against your pillows and let your eyes adjust to the light.

You smile at each other for a few seconds before you yawn and cover up your mouth. “Sorry again about waking you up” Alex starts but you wave him off.

It really wasn’t a problem you were always tired. Him waking you up had nothing to do with it.

“I best get dressed then” You say before rubbing your eyes again as Alex stands up and starts walking toward the bedroom door.

Alex turns around hearing you say that though, “Oh yeah dress warmer than you have been doing. The air-con in the studio can get a bit chilly”

“So, I can wear some jeans and not be sweating?” You ask him a little too excited.

Alex smiles at you. “Yeah you’ll be fine. Honestly bring a jacket” He tells you.  

“Oh my god yes” You chuckle before practically jumping out of bed and Alex chuckles at your excitement.

“You do know there is air-con in the house, right? You can wear your jeans here too” He tells you as he leans against the doorframe.

“But I like going outside here” You almost pout say as you pull a pair of jeans out of the wardrobe that you’d been dying to wear.

Alex laughs before pushing himself off the doorframe. He smiles before turning away saying, “I’ll see you downstairs”

After routing through your wardrobe, you find a top that you think will make a relatively cute outfit but at the same time will keep you warm.

You end up in ripped black skinny jeans and your old Hard Rock Cafe top. You also put on your black and red checked shirt to use as a sort of jacket to keep you warm.

You run down the stairs at 9:05 in your black and white Vans and see Alex sat on the sofa eating some toast. You’re aware your running slightly behind his schedule considering he wanted to leave in 10 minutes, so you just go straight into the kitchen and pour yourself some cereal.

You sit and eat it your cereal next to Alex and watch the TV until you’ve finished.

You offer to take Alex’s plate back into the kitchen and ask once more, “Are you sure you want me to come?”

Alex smiles and nods, “Yeah I want you there”

“I just don’t want to be in the way” You say honestly.

You didn’t like it when you thought people didn’t want you in a specific place. You most of the time felt out of place when you went for Sunday dinner at your parents most weeks so you just wanted to make sure you weren’t going to be a bother.

Alex shakes his head at you, “You’re never in the way”

You smile, “As long as you’re sure” and before you know it, you’re on the way to the studio.

Alex decides to take the Range Rover and you have a nice drive into through the city. It took you maybe half an hour to get there and signed in and everything.

Alex took you through to their own studio and as it turned out, you were the first to arrive. Not even Miles was there yet and it then only just occurred to you that you could have picked Miles up on the way.

But with the free time you had whilst waiting, Alex logged into the computers and brought everything up that was needed. You watched in awe. You hadn’t seen a mixing desk this big in your entire life.

Alex brought you out of your awe though and asked, “You wanna listen to what we have before everyone else shows up?”

You nod at him with a smile and shuffle your chair closer to his. You watch as he grabs two pairs of headphones, plugs them in and hands you one.

“Are you gunna make me cry?” You ask him as you place the headphones on.

Alex chuckles, “I hope not”

He pulls up a song on the screen and you start listening in complete adoration.

Each song was amazing, and you loved the whole vibe that you could tell this album was going to have. You could easily imagine yourself listening to it on repeat. And you already knew Y/B/F would love it just as much as the first.

“So, when’s it gunna be out? I want more already” You ask Alex as you both take your headphones off.

Alex laughs at that, “It’s took us two months to get these ten sorted, and we have until next year anyway. But the max deadline for changes is end of January. But it’s still a secret, so don’t be posting any photos you take today”

You hold your hands up as if you’ve been caught, “I promise I won’t post anything unless you look really good in it Al” You grin at him, so he knows you’re joking.

“Nothing. The only time I’ll ever tell you that you can’t post something is when it is to do with secret new music” He points a finger at you as if to warn you.

You chuckle, “Alright”

“So, you like what your hearing so far?” Alex asked you.

You grin at him, “I love it”

“Really?” Alex asked furrowing his eyebrows at you pretending to try and figure you out.

You laugh and say “Yeah I really really love it. I’m gunna have Miracle Aligner stuck in my head for weeks”

“Well you could have worse songs stuck in your head” Alex bigs himself up.

But it was obviously your role as his best friend to bring his ego down.

“I know yeah, like any of the songs by that shitty band Arctic Monkeys… Whoever writes them needs to find a new job” You play with him biting your tongue to hold your laughter back.

At that Alex shakes his head at you before he kicks your chair and you roll away from him.

“You’re a fucking bitch” Alex tells you laughing, and you start to laugh too.

You shuffle yourself back towards him and he turns away from you, quite obviously playing with you but it was all fun and games.

“Alex” You whine.

He shakes his head still looking away from you, “Nah fuck off”

You scoff at his fake behaviour before you pick yourself up out of your seat and walk around so he’s once again facing you. You sit yourself down on his lap so your sat across him with your legs hanging over the side of the arm rest.

“You know I love your music” You tell him as your arm goes around his neck to keep yourself from slipping off his lap.

Alex hums and raises his eyebrows as if he didn’t believe you. You obviously knew he was joking but you carried on anyway.

“You know full well you write some of the most beautiful songs I’ve ever heard” You tell him, and he finally looks at you again.

“Which songs?” Alex asks as if he wants to validate your beliefs.

You hum in thought, “There’s so many”

“Give me a few” He says as he puts his hand around your waist to keep you on his lap. He could feel you slipping.

You ponder for a moment, “Only One Who Knows is gorgeous and makes me cry all the time. Secret door is amazing too, I love that song… She’s Thunderstorms, Reckless Serenade, Number One Party Anthem… and dare I say Knee Socks”

“Fuck off, you had to ruin it” Alex laugh, and you laughed to.

“I just love your music Al” You laugh leaning your head down on his shoulder as he slowly started spinning the chair in a circle.

He was actually a child that had been allowed to sit in the comfy spinny chair in school.

“You could even go as far as to say that I’m a slut for your music” You play with a grin on your lips.

You both were laughing when Miles walked in and soon enough Alex span you around to face Miles who looked surprised to see you both in the position you were sat in.

“Miles Kaneeee” You half sang, with a smile on your face as he walked in the room smiling at you.

He looked between you and Alex as he sat down on the chair you were previously sat in and said, “You two look cosy”

“I said his music was shit so I had to give him a hug to make him feel better” You said picking your head up off Alex’ shoulder

Miles chuckled at that, “Better not be my stuff you’re slagging off Y/N/N”

“Never Miles, just said the monkeys were shit but he knows I’m lying… I wouldn’t have a tattoo if you were shit at writing music would I?” You say to Alex, giving you more evidence to back up your argument.

You even showing him your wrist again. Alex rolls his eyes at you and Miles laughs at your interaction.

“So, what song do you wanna do today Kane?” Alex asks him, blanking you and he tries to hold back a smile. Especially when he hears you scoff and sees in his peripherals that your shaking your head at him.

“Whatever we can get out Al… I know you don’t wanna be here right now, so I’m thinking if we just get two more sorted over today… and maybe sometime next week, then we don’t have to be here in reality for another two months because were over schedule” Miles says and Alex nods.

“Sure, let’s just get whatever done so we can go home… I’m fucking annoyed that they called us in. It’s not like I’ve ran late on an album deadline before I don’t know why he thinks I’m going to start now” Alex has a little rant.

“Maybe he thinks you’re busy” Miles says as he nods towards you and you furrow your eyebrows at that.

“And why would he think that?” Alex asked him, but you’re not sure if he picked up on Miles’ tone.

Was he seriously starting something when he’d literally just walked in?

“Oh I wonder” He snorts sarcastically bringing up the stuff that looks to be what you would create a new song on.

Alex sighs, “Yeah I am wondering” sounding a bit deflated.

He clearly wasn’t picking up on Miles’ tone. But you definitely were.

“Maybe because of the things she posts of you” Miles said in a rather annoyed tone.

You were starting to get annoyed now. You were tired and didn’t like to be harassed by people when it came to your old friends.

You got enough shit online about leaving Alex alone the past 10 years. You definitely didn’t need it from Miles.

You think Alex has started picking up on Miles’ vibe when he defends you.

“What a few pictures a day the past week, if that?” Alex said and you started to feel increasingly bad for even being in the room with them.

You were just trying to make some fun memories with one of your closest friends. Why did it have to be a massive deal if he was famous.

He was still a person. He was still your friend. One of the best.

“Well it’s not my fault if it looks like she’s distracting you with what she posts” Miles says in a really derogatory tone as he almost angrily clicks buttons on the computer.

After that you’d had enough.

“She has a fucking name for a start, and she can see and hear you. You absolute prick” You say obviously annoyed.

“Y/-“ Alex starts but you stop him.

“No Alex” You interrupt, sending Alex a serious look before you turn back to the person who’d annoyed you.

“Sorry if it’s an inconvenience to you that I’m over Miles, but I’ve not seen my best friends in almost a year. Some of us don’t have the luxury to live in a fucking mansion a few houses down from them or afford a flight to see them whenever they fucking feel like it” You say before getting up from Alex’s lap and heading to the door.

You pulled it open without looking back and headed back towards where you came in. You remembered there was a seating area and you think there was a cafe.

“Y/N” You hear Alex call after you, but you just carry on walking like a stroppy teenager.

You needed to cool off.

You couldn’t believe Miles, of all people, was being nasty. It wasn’t even that deep, but it hurt to think that Miles didn’t want you here because you were disrupting their work.

You’d been in the recording studio a few times back when the Monkeys recorded Whatever People Say I Am. You literally just sat and watched in the corner, just appreciating them and watching them be their creative selves.

You never got involved or disrupted them.

You told Alex that you didn’t want to interrupt anything to do with his and Miles’ music before you’d even booked your flight here. He’d promised you that you wouldn’t be interrupting anything which was obviously a lie at this point.

But surely that just meant that Alex wanted to see you as much as you wanted to see him.

You go and sit in the cafe area which you passed on your way through to the studio. It was quite cosy and once you’ve took a seat you just try and calm down.

You were frustrated at the whole situation. You felt like you should leave to give them their creative space but at the same time you knew Alex didn’t want you to go. So, you couldn’t even just ring Matt, get him to pick you up and leave.

After a few minutes, you decided to get yourself a coffee and just try and chill out. You needed to stop thinking about it.

You got yourself a Cappuccino which looked amazing. You got the large one as well, so it came in a massive mug which did actually help improve your mood slightly.

It was the little (or big) things in life.

Once you got that, you took your seat again and looked out of the window and started people watching. It was a fun game to play trying to figure out what everyone was up to in their own little worlds.

After five minutes of doing that you felt much better. But then someone had to come and ruin it.

“I’m sorry” You hear Miles say from behind you.

You take another sip of your coffee completely blanking him like a child. But you were annoyed at him and didn’t want a rant or an argument, especially in public. Silence was probably best.

He sighs and walks around to the empty seat opposite you and sits down. Now he’d insulted you and blocked your view, all within the space of 20 minutes. He was doing well.

Miles can tell you’re ignoring him when you look in a different direction out of a different window. He decides to try again, “I’m really sorry Y/N”

You look into his eyes as you take a long sip of your coffee. You half smile to yourself when he looks away from you obviously feeling awkward.

Once you swallow your mouthful of coffee, you decide to tell him what you’re thinking.

You hold your mug in your hands as you say, “I don’t appreciate to be made to feel like I’ve done something incredibly wrong when all I’ve done is post pictures with my friends that I haven’t seen in a long time”

Miles meets your gaze as he says, “I know I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said what I said, and I know I’ve pissed you both off because of it”

He then looks down and continues, “I’ve just had a bad morning which doesn’t excuse it, but I’m sorry for snapping”

“What happened this morning?” You questioned not really caring but you wanted at least a little explanation.

Miles sighed and looked back up at you before starting, “The girl I was sort of seeing decided to call it a day the night we went out…”

Shit. You didn’t expect that.

He continued, “And we had another argument this morning”

An “Oh” left your lips before you could stop yourself.

Miles pressed his lips together into a sad smile and said, “Yeah, so I’m sorry I’ve just had a really shitty morning”

You nod, now understanding. “Well thanks for apologising” You smile.

Miles half smiled back at you before saying, “Are you coming back in?”

“I’ll come once I’ve finished my coffee” You smile at him.

“Okay… I’m sorry again” He says as he gets up.

He adds on a lighter note, “If you want a snack after that, the chocolate chip cookies here are really good”

You smile as he leaves and finish your coffee in peace. You felt bad for him, you could empathise with him at lot. You would be in a mood for days.

After another 5 minutes you’ve finished your coffee and get back up to go into the studio. However, once you’ve put your mug on the side of the counter, so the waitress didn’t have to clear up your mess, you noticed the cookies that Miles was talking about. And they looked good.

You decided to be a nice friend and you got to the back of the queue to get Miles one. You wanted to cheer him up in what way you could, and it would also be an olive branch of sorts to make peace.

You were waiting in the line for about a minute before you felt arms go around your waist. You jumped not knowing who it was until you turned your head to see Alex grinning behind you.

You smiled at him and released a sigh of relief. “You shit me up then” You told him before you look down to his arms that have encapsulated you in a hug.

You smile seeing his Sheffield tattoo hugging your stomach.

“Sorry” Alex chuckles down your ear.

“You alright?” Alex asks you.

You nod, “Yeah… I’m sorry for walking out I could just feel myself getting angry”

“It’s alright, he didn’t have to say that. Shitty morning or not” Alex says, confirming that Miles must have told him what was going on too.

“I know” You say releasing a sigh.

“I just don’t wanna interrupt your music Al” You tell him as you watch the lady behind the counter make someone’s coffee.

“You’re not interrupting me. If anything, you’ll make the whole thing faster so I can get us both home” Alex tells you.

You smile and chuckle at that. Once he had his mind set on being with certain people somewhere, he clearly didn’t like plans being changed.

“I’m sorry for snapping at you” You say feeling bad about it.

You shouldn’t have done that when he did nothing wrong and was just trying to calm you down.

“It’s alright” Alex says before releasing you from his grip as the line moves forward.

“Least I know who will wear the trousers in the relationship” Alex says moving with you in the line.

You giggle at that and look to Alex who’s already smiling at you. He waits with you in the queue when you tell him that you’re waiting to grab a cookie for Miles.

In fact, you’re certain that’s the only reason he waited because he kept on hinting that he wanted one. When you eventually got served you asked for two and Alex got all excited.

You teased him for a second telling him it was for you and not for him and his face fell. You managed to keep a straight face as you paid for your goods and picked up the bag of two cookies before you pulled Alex away from the counter.

You got one out of the bag and teasingly took a bite of it and he called you nasty. You couldn’t keep your face straight then, you burst out giggling.

“I’m only joking” You say before handing the cookie over to him.

Alex’s face immediately lit up upon you passing him the cookie. He ended up splitting it with you as you made your way back towards the studio and it was all gone before you even got back to the room.

When you got back in you noticed that other people had filled the large room and you smiled at them all when you went in. Miles was sat facing the computer still though and he hadn’t seen you return.

You quickly go over to him and give him a one-armed hug from behind. “Hope you’re okay” You tell him.

You bring the bag over his shoulder with your other hand and put the cookie in his lap. “And if that doesn’t make you feel better then I’ll shag you later” You say before you kiss him on the side of his head.

Miles laughs at that before smiling at you and you can see he’s saying a ‘thank you’ for the cookie.

After you hugged Miles, Alex introduced you to the rest of the band that you hadn’t met before. You said you hellos and talked to them for a bit before you all went about your own conversations.

The girls who were the string section of the band seemed lovely and you could hear on the tracks you’d heard how talented they were. You obviously knew how talented Zach was on guitar because he was in Mini Mansions.

You hadn’t met Loren before, but he seemed lovely and you said your Hello to their producer who you knew was James Ford.

After all the pleasantries were exchanged, Alex was being his needy self again and you found him trying to get your attention again. So of course, when he pulled you in for a hug you returned it.

You gave Alex a hug and he said in your ear, “So you’re gunna shag Miles to make him feel better?”

“I think the cookie did the trick. I think I’m safe” You smile at him when you pull away from the hug.

You don’t stray too far though because he still has his hands on your hips keeping you close.

“Ah right, I’m just wondering if you offered Miles a shag to make him feel better, what would you offer me?” Alex asks you with raised eyebrows.

“Ooo Al, that would be telling” You grin at him. His hands still on your hips keeping you close.

Alex grins at you and just as he’s about to say something back Miles asks the room, “So which one today guys?”

Both yours and Alex’s hold breaks, and you just stand next to each other and look towards the men and women who are about to create some amazing music.

“I recon Everything You’ve Come To Expect” Alex says and after a brief discussion everyone seems to be in agreement about the song choice.

The truth was you were excited to see how they went about recording songs these days. You couldn’t wait to watch the whole process intently.

Before long Alex and Miles went into the recording studio that was set up with an expensive keyboard and a microphone on one side and a lone microphone on the other side of the room.

You watch intently as the boys go into the room and you aren’t surprised when Alex sits at the keyboard and Miles sits at the lone microphone. From your view you can see the keyboard from the side so you can see what chords Alex is playing.

You giggle watching them mess about before they actually decide to do their work. Alex starts off at the keyboard and you watch his hands as you listen to the lyrics intently like you always did with any new song.

You don’t know why but it made you emotional. The song sounded like someone had been misleading or cheating on someone and you could really relate to that.

But the fact that it was more than likely about someone who’s mislead or cheated on Alex brought another emotion into it too. You never wanted any of your friends to go through that.

You wiped away a stray tear that rolled down your face as the song progressed. How were your friends so bloody good a creating music that made you emotional?

Whether it was a happy or sad song, they got you crying every time.

When they finished everyone waited for the room to go silent before the rest of the band and you gave a little cheer. You watched Miles and Alex smile at each other before you made eye contact with them through the glass that divided you.

Miles gives you a smile before standing up to come back through presumably to have a listen. Alex grins at you and takes his time getting up to come back in.

“Sounded good mate” James Ford, the producer, told Miles as he walked back in and his smile got bigger.

They started playing the recording as Alex came back into the room and he stood just behind you as you listened. You turned to smile at him as you both listened, and he smiled back at you and came and stood by your side.

You could feel your eyes getting watery again as you listened to the lyrics over the quiet chatter of the others in the room. Alex must have noticed because he bumped your shoulder which caused you to smile at him.

“You good?” He asked you quietly and you nodded.

You listened for a second more before asking, “Did you write the lyrics?”

Alex nodded at you and you released a breath. You turn to give him a hug which he returns, rubbing your back a little.

“If that’s about someone, can you please tell me who so I can go give her a talking to?” You ask into his ear as you hug him.

You feel him chuckle against you before saying, “You might kill her”

“I will kill her. Hurting you and making me cry” You say chuckling a little bit.

Alex pulls away to see that your eyes are once again watery, and he pouts at you. “Don’t be upset. I’m okay”

“Well stop writing good songs about your emotions then I might be able to get a grip of my own” You chuckle and Alex smiles at you before hugging you again.

You enjoy the feeling of the embrace as you listen to the rest of the song and you enjoy the feeling of him rubbing his warm hands up and down your back. You think you just enjoyed his company and his touch more than you really should.

You release each other with a smile before the song ends and you tell him, “I really love the song”

“No surprise there then. I had a part in making it” He smirks.

You fake glare at him, knowing he knew you too well. You enjoyed all music he created.

“Don’t be getting cocky” You warn him and you both laugh before he’s called upon to make lots of decisions about the song and what more should be done to it.

You learnt a lot that day and it was one of the most interesting things you’d seen in a while. You felt so privileged to be witnessing it all.

It was one of your favourite days in LA by far and when you and Alex got home that night you went outside to chill in his garden, and you had a lovely evening. The best part though, was when you and Alex were walking past the pool though and he pushed you in fully clothed.

Thankfully you’d literally just put your phone on charge in the lounge or you would have murdered him. You couldn’t do without your phone.

You were that shocked by what he did that you glared at him as he laughed at you from the side of the pool as you tread water to keep yourself afloat. You climbed your way out and ended up chasing him around his house as he ran away from you.

He ended up running away from you, up the stairs, up into his room and thought escaping onto the balcony would help him. It turned out to be his defeat because once out there you hugged him so tightly in your extremely wet clothes.

He was fuming that he’d been caught as you wrapped your arms around his neck so he couldn’t escape you. You even went as far as to briefly warning him that you were going to jump and when you did you wrapped your legs around him in hopes to transfer the dampness onto his clothes.

His hands grabbed the underneath of your thighs to keep you up right and he grumbled when the water started seeping through into his clothes.

“Maybe don’t push me into your pool next time if you don’t want to be chased after” You tell him as you also mess up his hair.

Alex chuckled at that and after a minute you released him from your grasp. You giggled to yourself when you fully separated and his whole front and the tops of his jeans were visibly damp.

After that you took a shower in his ensuite as the shower was just magical in there. It wasn’t weird because you’d asked if you could use it after breakfast your first morning in LA because you wanted to see if it was as amazing as he said it was.

It turned out to be the best shower you’d ever had so from then on that was the shower you’d been using. You even woke Alex up the other morning to ask him if it was okay to use his shower again which he thankfully agreed you could do.

And you would be doing for the remainder of your trip. It was just too good not too. You just kept the singing in the shower down and hoped he couldn’t hear you murdering his own songs.

~*~*~*~

The next day started off very relaxed compared to the previous one. You got yourself up and you used Alex’s shower again before you descended downstairs. It was a boiling hot day and you didn’t even bother to get dressed knowing that you were more than likely going to be in the pool for most of the day.

You walked down the stairs in your red bikini and your black sarong wrapped around your bottom half whilst you made yourself some breakfast. You noted that Alex was already outside with the doors open and you could faintly hear him swimming.

You also had your gold sunglasses on that were mirrored ones. When you had them on, you felt like you were in Love Island because they there the shape one of the girls in the show wore.

You quickly made yourself some toast and once buttered, you took it outside with you to eat by the edge of the pool. The sun was scorching so you were thankful that Alex had already wet the surface you sat down on, so you didn’t burn your arse as you sat on the side.

You watched Alex complete his length of the pool before and smiled noting he had his sunglasses on in there. You didn’t blame him today though because the sun was blinding just shimmering on the water so you wouldn’t bully him for it today.

“Morning” Alex waved from across the pool.

You smile and give him a wave back with your free hand whilst you continue to eat your toast. You watch as he swims towards you as you finish off your breakfast.

“You okay?” He asks you as he stands in the water just in front of your feet.

“Yeah I’m good. I can’t believe how hot it is today” You say as you wipe away the crumbs that fell on your lap.

“I know. I literally came down opened the doors, felt how hot it was and went back up and put my trunks on” Alex tells you.

You reach down into the water and cup some of it so you can wet your thighs. They felt like they were burning, yet you’d already put your suncream on.

“I can’t wait to get in” You say before repeating your actions.

The cooler water brought relief to your boiling skin. You were so thankful he had a house with his own pool.

“Get in now?” Alex says with furrowed eyebrows as if he doesn’t realise that people aren’t meant to swim just after you eat.

You furrow your eyebrows at him though. It was obvious to you. “I’ve just eaten”

“It’s a myth” Alex tells you. “I literally had breakfast earlier then dived in”

“You’re an idiot” You tell him with a hint of a smile on your lips.

“I promise you it’s not real. And if it was, it was made up for kids up that do backflips into the pool. You’ll be fine” Alex tells you before he offers to help you drop into the pool.

“If I throw up, I’m not cleaning it out of your pool” You tell him with a grin as you undo your sarong.

“Come on” Alex tells you raising his arms up to you.

You lean down to him in the water and once your hands have found his shoulders you start to slowly slip into the pool. Alex’s hands on your hips lowering you in too so you don’t splash yourself upon entry.

The water sloshes around you as your feet touch the ground and you let out a sigh of relief as the liquid cools you down immediately. “Oh my god that’s so much better” You say before releasing your hold on him.

“I know. I couldn’t not go in today. It’s too fucking warm” Alex tells you as you both start to move further down the pool so the water gets deeper.

“Literally scorching” You agree before you take off your golden sunglasses for a second.

“Can you hold them for a sec please?” You ask Alex and he takes them off you and holds them above the surface of the water.

“Thank you” You smile before you take a deep breath and go under the water.

Your full body felt the relief of the cool water when you did that. You sank a bit before you pushed yourself back up above the surface and took a breath. You wiped your eyes ensuring no chlorine went in them and then reopened them to see Alex grinning at you.

You go to grab hold of the glasses again as you say, “Thank you”

However, you should have known that your fucking annoying best friend wouldn’t give them to you straight away. As you went to grab them, he moved his hand further away.

You give him a look as if to say, ‘are you actually a child’ and Alex lets out his cute little laugh. He sees your eyebrows raise though and he soon quietens.

You go to reach for them again and you weren’t surprised this time when he moved a step back again.

“Don’t be a dick” You tell him as you move closer once again.

This time you launch yourself at him and grab onto his toned bicep in hopes to make his raised arm drop down. You pulled on his arm as he laughed at your failing attempts.

You then look down at his face though and don’t know why you were struggling to get your cheap sunglasses back when a perfectly good pair sat on his face. Sunglasses were sunglasses and you could definitely see the look of surprise on Alex’s face when you snatched his and started swimming away from him.

“That was nasty” Alex calls after you as you put his aviators on.

You chuckle before looking back towards him saying, “Gold’s more your colour anyway”

You obviously couldn’t keep the smile off your face as you said that. The smile turned into a grin when you watched him put the glasses on.

“Very rockstar” You tell him, and he raises his eyebrows at you whilst a smirk appears on his lips.

You both spent quite a bit of time in and out of the pool that morning because of the scorching heat that the LA sun provided. You eventually traded glasses with him when he handed you yours back and you proceeded to throw his in the pool and he jumped in to fetch them like a dog with a ball.

They really were his prized possessions. It was quite funny.

After half an hour of the both of you lounging on either side of the pool you have a thought. You’d been in LA a week and you’d not seen the beach yet and you hoped that could change.

“Al” You called from your lounger.

Alex was just on his phone on the other side of the pool and he looked up at you with raised eyebrows. You elected for opposing sun loungers because you were both nervous of the other stealing sunglasses again and you didn’t trust him not to throw yours in because you did it to him.

He answers you with a, “Yeah?”

“Can we go to the beach one day please?” You asked him whilst shading your eyes with your hand. Even with the sunglasses on, it was so bright out today.

“We can go now if you want?” Alex tells you as he sits up properly.

“Don’t you need to go anywhere?” You ask thinking he might have to go back to the studio at some point today to finish off the song.

Alex got up and made his way around to you and said “No I’m all yours. I told James I’m not going back for at least another week so I’m all yours until then. You know I hate people Y/N so any excuse to fuck them off to be with people I actually like”

“You really are in the wrong career” You chuckle as he makes his way over to you.

“Tell me about it” Alex laughs.

“So which beach do you wanna go?” He asks as he comes and stands next to you.

“What are my options?” You asked like you’d know any difference.

Alex listed you some of them and you literally had no clue which one was meant to be better.

“Which one do you usually go?” You ask hoping he had a preference.

Alex shrugs, “I don’t know… I’ve been to Carbon Beach a few times but it’s just celebrities and I don’t wanna be nice to anyone pretentious”

“Okay then well Malibu sounds good if you wanna go there?” You shrug squinting at him because the sun was so bright.

“Yeah sounds good. Wanna go in a few?” Alex asks.

You nod enthusiastically. “Yeah sure just let me get changed and I’ll be right with you” You smile at him before you grab your book and stand up.

“Why do you need to get changed? You’re just gunna get there and take it all off again” Alex asked, and he made a good point.

“Well I’ll go and grab some clothes for the way home then and a towel. Can finally get some use out of my beach bag” You smile at him.

“Meet you in the car?” Alex asks you as you both head inside.

You grin, “Which one?”

“Which one do you want?” Alex chuckles as he closes the French doors.

“I want the roof down” You say.

You always craved the feeling of the wind rapidly blowing through your hair whilst you were in a car when it was sunny outside. The feeling must be even better when you’re headed to the beach, especially in LA.

“Audi it is” He smiled at you before he hurry’s you off upstairs to get your stuff together.

And not 5 minutes later Alex is pulling out of his gated community and you’re on your way.

You listened to the radio on the way and you sang along as you took in the views around you. Alex pointed a few things out to you on the way that interested you and you had a really nice time with him being your personal driver.

“You’re a good tour guide” You pointed out to him as he finished telling you about some crazy fan, he’d seen on the road you were driving down.

“You’re an awful customer. Your hair keeps flicking me” Alex joked as he drove.

“I’m sorry I can’t help it. It’s your car” You say not even attempting to move your hair to try and stop it bugging him.

You were in your element and not even the guy you fancied would bring you out of it.

“You wanted the roof down” Alex make a good point.

“I’ve never experiences a proper expensive convertible Alex. I’m not passing up the opportunity” You joked and looked over your sunglasses at him.

“You’re still a twelve-year-old. Swear down” Alex laughs as he shakes his head at you.

“It’s not every week I get driven to the beach in a fancy car Al. This is an exciting tour around LA for me” You smile, and you can see the sea in the distance.

“I could give you a proper tour afterward if you want? Can’t promise I’ll be any good, but I know a few places” He offers and your definitely not passing up that chance. It was something that had been on your bucket list for years.

“I’ll hold you to that. I’ve always wanted a road trip round LA” You told him honestly.

Alex smiled “Consider it done”

The beach was quite busy when you arrived, but that was to be expected. It was July and the weather was amazing.

Alex just about managed to find a parking space and he told you to get out, so he’d have more room to park the car. You laughed and did what you were told, and once parked Alex put the roof back up on the gorgeous white car and you headed down to the beach.

You walked beside Alex as you discussed where to leave your stuff before you headed down to the sea. Despite having the roof down in the car, you were boiling and felt the need to cool off already.

You ended up putting your stuff down near a nice-looking family who had a little Bluetooth speaker going. The tunes were quite good.

As you arrived near them you could hear See You Again by Charlie Puth playing, and you asked to Alex, “Wanna go here? Then we can listen to their music when we come back?”

“Good idea. Better have a good playlist though” Alex smiled as he put the stuff on the ground.

You followed his lead and put your down stuff down before you took off your black T-shirt dress that you just chucked on over your dry enough bikini. You watched as Alex pulled off his white top and you quickly glance at his body again.

He was fucking ripped and you wanted to groan like you were just seeing a picture of him on your Instagram. He looked really good in his grey swimming trunks. He was a freaking Adonis and his hair looked amazing too.

It was fluffy from drying in the sun earlier and you were glad that he didn’t put the gel back in it to come out.

“Race to the sea?” Alex challenged you with a smiled, throwing his sunglasses down on the towel where you’d just discarded yours.

“I’d say yeah but if I ran in this my tits would fall out and I don’t fancy getting arrested” You smile at him gesturing to your red strapped bikini.

Alex laughed at that before you both started to walk down. “You’re boring” Alex said as you walked over the warm sand.

“And you think I’m the twelve-year-old” You joked, nudging his shoulder as you walked down.

You hadn’t felt sand between your toes for such a long time. You really felt like you were on holiday now. You couldn’t believe that this could just be the norm for Alex.

The water was a lot warmer than you’d expected it to be. On the rare occasion that you ever went to the seaside back home you were used to freezing cold murky water.

This was a lot nicer than that to say the least. The water was relatively clear, and you didn’t find yourself immediately wanting to run back out because of how cold it was.

You don’t know when it was silently decided between you, but this first swim seemed to be the both of you swimming out the furthest you felt comfortable with. You both chatted as you swam out and you made it out pretty far.

When you looked back the people on the beach could barely be distinguished from. They all just looked like tiny people in a picture of the beautiful scenery.

You both decided that you should probably turn back around as you didn’t want to run out of energy before you got back.

However about half way back, you were growing tired and you just wanted to be able to stand up and have a break for a minute.

“Can you stand up yet?” You asked Alex.

Alex then stops swimming for a minute to see if he can touch the ground again yet.

“Yeah, can you?” He asks when his head doesn’t disappear under the surface.

You attempt to do the same as you’re not a lot smaller than him. But as you do so, half your face disappears under the water. Some salt water made its way into your mouth and you pulled a face at it.

You start treading water again immediately and say, “No I’m struggling”

Alex laughed at that before saying “Come here and I’ll help you”

You swim towards Alex, but the waves must push him further back from you. As when you think you’re getting closer, he seems to always be the same distance away.

“Alex are you moving away?” You asked him, getting annoyed because you don’t seem to be getting anywhere.

Alex then laughed and you knew he’d been playing you. You groaned and splashed water at him saying, “Stop being a dick, I might drown”  

“You’re not gunna drown just come and get me” Alex laugh at your extreme thoughts.

After another minute, you finally reached him and at that point you were tired and nearly out of breath.

“You’re a dick” You told him, as you through your arms around his neck so he couldn’t escape you for a bit.

“You love me” Alex laughed hugging you to him in the water.

He could tell that you needed a rest as the waves weren’t doing you any good as you struggled to keep your head above the surface when they came. And who was he to deprive you of that break, when he certainly didn’t mind you clinging to him.

“I’ll love you if I can wrap my arms around your neck and you can swim me to the beach” You say with a grin.

“Not what I thought you were gunna say when you mentioned arms around my neck” Alex tells you as he spins around in your grasp so your now on his back.

You laughed at that. “That’s not really on my mind when I’m trying not to drown”

Alex laughs and thankfully he got you to a level where your feet could touch the ground again which would always be good news. When you reached the point where you didn’t need to swim to get back and you could stand up again, you made a beeline for your towels.

Alex, however, told you that he was going to take a few more minutes in the sea by himself which you understood. It was beautiful. If you weren’t knackered from that swim you would have probably stuck around a little longer too.

“Don’t get lost in that head of yours” You tell him before you leave him to his thoughts.

You’d noticed on multiple occasions over the years that Alex would just stare into space. Usually someone brought him out of his little trace but if not, you don’t know how long he’d be in his dazes for.

When you got back to your towels you were pleased to hear that the music was still playing from the family just next to you and all your stuff was still there. You sat down and you found that due to the hot sun your body dried off relatively quickly.

After a few minutes of sitting on the ground enjoying your view, you watched as Alex made his way out of the sea heading towards you. You’d be lying if you said that you didn’t appreciate the way his body glistened in the sunlight as he walked back over.

He was fucking stunning and you were half sure that he knew it. Jesus, with a body like that and his hair and his jawline to go with it you wished you were 30 already so you could just marry the man and he’d be yours.

After about 20 minutes of you being lay down and half chatting to each other, half relaxing, you felt a damp object being pressed on your stomach. You opened your eyes to see Alex lay at a right angle to you and his head was now lay on the lower half of your stomach.

“You okay?” You ask him.

“Yeah” Alex sighed to himself. “I just wanted a pillow” He smiled looking round at you.

“So you wanted a pillow so now I’ve gotta have your head as a tan line on my stomach?” You tease even though you didn’t care.

“Y/N you tanned that much last week that I don’t think it’s physically possible for you to get any darker now” Alex said, and he was probably right.

You’d gone a lovely colour and it was a tan you hoped you could keep for a while.

You knew his game though and you called him out on it. “You just don’t want me to tell you to get off”

“You’re not wrong” Alex tells you with a grin. You chuckle at his honestly and let him stay there.

He wasn’t doing you any harm and you weren’t going to be getting your stomach out back home anyway. It was nearly always raining, and you very very very rarely wore a crop top in the summer.

You both lay in that position for a good 5 minutes just listening to the family’s music. They had quite a range of stuff which was good, you really enjoyed relaxing and listening along.

You would have probably fell asleep in the next few minutes but the next song that came on stopped you. You smirked as you heard R U Mine start playing through the family’s speaker and you opened your eyes to see a faint smile on Alex’s lips too.

You brought your hand up and let it drag through his messy wet hair as you said, “They’ve got very good music taste”

Alex chuckled and agreed with you, “They really do”

You kept playing with his hair for a long while. You think you kept messing with it until you fell asleep and only when Alex picked his head up off your stomach and looked down at you, you woke up.

Once fully awake again Alex invited you back out for another swim. You definitely said yes because you were fucking boiling from the sun.

Alex helped you get up and you both made you way back down to the water.

“You’re a comfy pillow” Alex yawns as you walk.

“So are you” You smiled back, thinking back to the other day when you fell asleep on him.

You both then spend a good half an hour in the sea. You have a bit of a swim and you also mess about and chat a lot. You just found that the time really flew by when you were together. You couldn’t believe you were almost a week into your holiday.

You again got out of the water first and headed back to the towels. You wanted to make sure no one had stolen your bag with the both of your clothes, phones and Alex’s car keys in it.

This time you lay the opposite way on your towel. You were on your front and you had your head towards the sea so you would once again see Alex come out.

When he did, instead of laying on his towel that was next to you he picked the towel up and laid it you just in front of you, just leaving a patch of sand between you. He’d be blocking your view of the sea, but you definitely didn’t mind.

Once he’d done that, he lay himself down in front of you and you smiled at him. He smiled back at you and you decided to play a game on the smooth sand that was between you.

You brushed it side to side to smooth it out before drawing 4 lines on the surface.

“Noughts and crosses?” You suggest you Alex and smiled nodding.

You go first as draw a circle in the centre square. Alex then goes and draws a cross in the corner.

You play for a while; you giggle when you win the first time and you carry on giggling each time you win. After losing five times in a row Alex just has to ask you “How do you keep winning?”

“Years of Jedi training” You joke as you smooth out the sand again and draw the lines out.

“I’m being serious though. Each time you end up having two ways of winning. How are you doing that?” Alex said as you both started playing again.

“You mean like that?” You nodded down to the sand as you drew in another nought.

“You’re a wizard” Alex smiles at you and you could see his eyes peaking over his sunglasses and you laughed at his humour.

After a few more goes, Alex seemed to understand how you were doing it and he scorned you for going first every time, so he didn’t have that advantage. When he got his first win, he was very pleased with himself which made you laugh.

After a while of both of you not winning for about 10 rounds, you both give up. You grab your phone out of your bag whilst Alex carry’s on messing about with the sand.

The next time you look up at him, you notice he’s found a stone and he’s using it to carefully trace a spiral into the sand. You put your phone down on your towel and watch as he finishes the enticing piece of art.

“That looks really good” You tell him honestly.

“Yeah?” He questions.

“Yeah” You smile and watch as he folds his arms back on the ground.

You pick your phone up and swipe to put it on camera. You take it from ground level, and you make sure Alex is in it too. He clocks on quickly to what you’re doing and he looks over his sunglasses as you with an unimpressed face that you knew was fake.

You take a few pictures and smile at them as you look back through them. God, how did he look so sexy when he was faking anger towards you?

You took a portrait one too very quickly and giggled when Alex smile was peeking through his fake cold exterior.

“That’s a new lock screen that Alex” You said as you started changing it.

He just looked so good. You wanted an excuse to see it all the time.

“Pass me my phone?” Alex asks you and you reach around to retrieve it from your beach bag.

“Why? Do you want me as yours?” You joke as you pass him his phone.

He grins at you. “You read my mind. Smile” He instructs as he’s about to point his phone at you.

You quickly stop him, “Wait a second”

Alex did as he was told whilst you pushed yourself up with your so your chest was no longer on the ground. You ran a hand through your hair to make sure it wasn’t awfully parted, and you rested yourself back down on your elbows, so you were still lay down but sort of sat up.

The last thing you wanted was a double chin on his photo.

You looked at him and smiled, “Go on then” and Alex happily took a few pictures. He did the same took a few landscape, and then one or two portrait.

You watched the back of Alex’s phone as he tapped on it before telling him, “If I have a double chin you’re taking more”

Alex let out a laugh at that before shaking his head. “No, you look great” He tells you.

You held back the little ‘Awh’ noise you wanted to make when he said that but then ask, “Can I see?”

Alex nodded to you before locking his phone and passing it to you. You took it and pressed down on the button and were greeted with a picture of yourself that you surprisingly liked.

You were smiling happily at Alex, your eyes just peaking over the top of your sunglasses and your hair looked messily damp, but it looked good. And your chest…

It looked fucking amazing if you did say so yourself. Your breasts looked great and really big in the picture and your red bikini really did look fantastic.

“Woah” You said. “My boobs look great in this”

Alex chuckled at that as you passed him his phone back. You looked down at your chest and from your angle they just looked alright, so you had to ask, “Do they actually look that good in real life?”

“You really want me to answer that?” Alex grinned at you.

“Yeah” You smile up at him with an amused expression.

You’d asked him plenty of questions like this before. If not the same one, and he was never one to lie to you. Probably why you valued his opinion a lot.

Your eyes connected with Alex’s over both of your sunglasses before you watched his gaze flick back down to your boobs and he took his sweet time studying them.

“I would say take a picture it’ll last longer, but we’ve already done that” You chuckle.

Alex laughed properly at that before he calmed himself enough to tell you, “They look very nice Y/N”

“Just nice?” You ask. You were hoping for a bit more than just nice.

Alex smirked at you asking that and he looked at you over his glasses as he said, “What do you want me to say?”

“I don’t know” You chuckled just wanting to tease him.

Alex smiled and then let out a little laugh before pushing his sunglasses back up as he said “They look like a real handful”

You let out a proper giggle at that. You could tell he really wanted to get that joke into the conversation which made it funnier.

“They are” You giggle, sitting up and taking your boobs in your hands.

You move your hands around a bit to try and cup them in a different way to see if you can actually fit your hands around them.

Your hands were about an inch too small for you to be able to cup them properly. Alex was watching your actions and he quickly became very thankful that he was lay down on his front.

You shrugged your shoulders before returning back to your previous position of you facing Alex as you said, “They are a definitely more than a handful for me”

“You’ve got small hands” Alex tells you.

You scoff, “I can reach an octave on the piano, they aren’t that small… Well, they might be compared to yours”

Alex put his hand out to you and you silently chuckled as you matched up the bottom of your hand to his before you lined your fingers up with his. His hands were really soft from both the sea and messing with the sand for the past half hour and you smiled when you saw that your fingertips stopped about half an inch before his.

“Looks like they’d be a handful for you too Turner” You grin

“Do you want me to test out that theory?” Alex smirks, before lacing his fingers with yours. His Death Ramps ring cooling your hot skin.

You giggle and say, “Sure, just at home though, because there’s kids present. Gotta keep it PG 13”

“I think copping a quick feel is PG 13” Alex tells you as he pulls you left hand towards him and he starts tracing your tattoo on your wrist once more.

“Well as much as I would enjoy it Al, copping a feel isn’t PDA approved in my book. Sorry” You smile as you watch him shake his head at your tattoo once more.

“It’s alright… I can wait an hour out two” Alex jokes and you giggled again.

You spent a few hours on the beach just chilling and also messing about. At one point he asked you to put suncream on his back because he thought it was about to burn and when you slapped it on his back he jumped, from both the cold substance and the harshness of the contact.

He then got you back when you both later went in the sea and started splashing you like you were kids in a paddling pool having a water fight. You messed about in the sea for a long while, both always laughing and having a great time.

You felt like you were teenagers again, having the best time with no care in the world. And once you were set to go home again Alex took the long way back and gave you a tour around LA.

He took you to all the places you mentioned and shows you the sights. You go out for a bit of a walk in the city and you had a really nice time both window shopping and seeing everything that the city had to offer.

As you both weaved between the mass of people around, you on the streets you were getting annoyed at slow people in front of you. You sighed and grabbed Alex’s hand and pulled the both of you around the slow people in front of you.

You loosened your grip on his hand expecting him to let go of it but to your surprise his grip never faltered. So, you both happily walked around LA, hand in hand, until you got back to the car.

You didn’t stay out for more than a few hours though because you were both hungry and in desperate need for a shower.

On your way home Matt texts and says that he’ll be round in an hour with no other context than that, but you reply to him saying:

Sweet, see you soon x

When you get home again Alex says as you walk through the door, “Imma go for a shower”

“Aw I wanted a shower” You pout as you move towards the kitchen.

“You can use the one in your bathroom” Alex laughs.

You shake your head, “It’s okay I’ll just wait. I highly doubt I’ll ever find a shower better than that one of yours”

“You could just save yourself the time and join me?” Alex grins as he leans against the large archway that separates the kitchen from the lounge.

You laugh at him as you walk to the fridge to grab a can of Pepsi Max. Alex pushes the idea again by saying, “Would save water too”

“Tempting but Matt’s coming soon, and I doubt we’d be done by then” You say as you turn towards him with a smirk.

“Well you’re not wrong there” Alex raises his eyebrows at you, and you feel yourself get flustered.

“Go and have a shower” You tell him, “Then you can cook my tea. It’s your day remember”

“You know where to find me if you need me” Alex teases as he turns around and leaves you too it for a little while. God he was something else.

After 10 minutes Alex comes downstairs again fully dressed. This time he wears some black jeans and a loose black top, but his hairs styled somewhat from it being damp.

You look at him and shake your head. The temperature was still far too high for jeans.

“You’re making me feel hot” You tell him as he takes his seat on the settee next to you.

Alex smiles at you and says, “Could have made you a lot hotter if you’d of come in the shower with me”

“Mind’s in the gutter Turner” You shake your head.

“What can I say… the red bikini’s doing it for me” Alex smirks.

“Good thing I brought two then isn’t it?” You flirt back before you stand up and head upstairs.

“You wanna come back down in the other one for me?” Alex calls after you up the stairs.

“Make my dinner Alex” You shout back down, and you hear him laugh.

About half an hour later your back downstairs with your laptop in hand and Alex has just sat back down next to you. He informs you that he’s started making Spaghetti Bolognese which you’re rather excited about.

You then open up your laptop and finish checking your emails from work, relieved to see everything is still in working order. Alex then starts asking you things about your job which you didn’t mind about at all.

You told him all that he wanted to know, and he ended up getting you to show him some designs that you’d worked on in the past. So, you ended up being fully invested in you showing off your work to Alex that you didn’t even hear Matt come in.

“Hey lovebirds” You heard Matt call behind you.

You furrow your eyebrows at him as he comes in and both you and Alex send him a look of confusion as to why he addressed you like that.

“What?” You asked.

“I just said hello” Matt says as he takes a seat on the opposite sofa.

“No, you idiot. The lovebirds bit… Where’s that came from?” You ask.

Matt grins and says, “Oh you’ve not seen it yet?”

“Seen what?” You question.

“Google Alex Turner” He tells you as he turns the TV on with the remote.

“It’s happened again hasn’t it?” You asked Matt as you opened a new tab and typed in Alex’s name into google.

It pops up with:

Alex Turner’s Ongoing Romance With Y/N Y/L/N

“Oh brilliant” Alex says.

“I’m gunna piss myself laughing at this again. The last one was so funny” You smile as you sit back and start reading through the article.

Whilst Turner has changed his look over the years from the boyish hair styles to the long Beatles look to the hot greasers look, Alex never seems to fail at having a beautiful woman on his arm. The first two being Alexa Chung, presenter and model, and Arielle Vandenberg, model and Vine star but his new lady leads a more down to earth life.

It then begins to go into the very few details they know about you. They obviously didn’t do their research because you swear if they did, they would come across your Linked In profile and find that you were an Art Director. But in the article, they were basically just trying to say that you weren’t famous like Alexa and Arielle.

Most of what the article then went into was just background information on you and Alex and all the times you’d been photographed together in the past.

The new information did make you want to laugh though. The article wrote:

Turner was spotted today with Y/L/N at Malibu beach. The pair have been rumoured to be in an on and off relationship that’s spanned the last 9 years since Y/L/N first joined Arctic Monkeys back on their first UK and US tour. Whilst neither parties have ever commented about their relationship status, it seems from today’s encounter that things between the couple may have heated up since the last time they were spotted together in early 2014.

The Arctic Monkeys’ fans seem to love the idea of the couple being together and maybe from today’s activities, the couple have given them hope once more. However, Turner is known for his privacy so it’s unlikely that we will know more until they are spotted again.

As you read, you saw a photo of you both in the sea with your arms wrapped around Alex neck. It was from the second time in the sea when you were both splashing about and he wouldn’t stop getting you, so you clung to him to get him to stop.

You also see a picture in the article that definitely didn’t come from any paparazzi. There was a picture of you and Alex walking down the busy streets of LA together hand in hand and you sighed.

It was a cute picture but the writing underneath it just made you wish a fan hadn’t taken the picture. The article was just twisting the situation entirely.

The couple were also spotted a few hours later roaming around LA hand in hand. The twitter user didn’t divulge any information on the pair, but the image does make the possibility of a rekindled relationship between Turner and Y/L/N look promising.

All you could say was that you were thankful you were half cut out of the picture because whoever had taken it had obviously been a fan of Alex’s.

There were more pictures of you messing about in the sea laughing together too and there’s more of you both walking back to your towels on the beach. It’s scary to think you hadn’t even seen anyone taking pictures of you. It made you feel a bit weird about the times you’d left your stuff in your bag when you both went out.

“Wow who knew me trying not to get splashed would be proof of a relationship” You say as you scroll back up and look at the pictures again.

“That’s the first stage of a relationship Y/N, how did you not know?” Matt asks you sarcastically and you laugh.

You reread the whole thing again and you just decide to not let it get to you, even though it was a bit annoying. You never hid any part of your life and your social media proved that, so you didn’t understand why you were being speculated about.

“Well at least my tits look good in all the pictures” You say as you save the pictures onto your computer.

“Never noticed Y/N/N” Matt said and when you looked up at him you could see him trying not to laugh.

You smirk up at him, “Whatever Matthew, I know you were looking”

“Bre said that” Matt chuckles

You laughed, “Did she really?”

Matt nodded and grinned at you. “Not getting jealous I hope?” You ask him.

“No don’t worry she was complimenting them as well. That’s how it came up” Matt tells you and you can’t help but giggle.

“Love it” You laughed before putting your laptop on the floor and standing up.

You sigh again and get your phone out of your back pocket before saying, “Alex I’m posting a picture of you on Instagram”

“Oh god, which one?” Alex says looking up at you.

“Just the one from the beach” You tell him as you bring the picture of him up that you liked the best.

He looked so cute, yet he looked like he could take you there and then in the picture. You loved it, so you were quite happy he didn’t mind you putting it up.

You didn’t bother with a filter as the light had already been caught in a really pretty way. And because you were in a funny yet marginally pissed off mood with the tabloids again, you posted the photo with the caption.

Boyfriend apparently.

You through your phone down onto the sofa just having enough of it as you pick your laptop up off the floor. You start pacing as you looked back through the article that was actually quite funny.

You shook your head as you read back through it and let out a sigh once you’d finished it again.

“Are you okay?” Alex asked you, taking up your attention again.

You looked to him and smiled, “Yeah I’m fine. Just funny ain’t it?”

“You can be pissed off at it. They shouldn’t be assuming things” Alex tells you.

“It’s honestly fine. They could be saying a lot worse” You say as you close it, putting it down on the sofa that Matts sat on.

“That’s true” Matt agrees looking at you.

“Yeah, they could have said I was in a relationship with Miles” You joke and scrunch your face up.

Both Matt and Alex laughed at that and you got up and started pacing the room.

They both already knew you were about to start venting your feelings. You always did the same thing when you were trying to get your point across to someone.

“It’s just a little annoying because I’m literally an open book online. I post things about myself and my opinions that people don’t even want to know. So even if we were going out, why would I even contemplate hiding it?” You sigh.

You turn to Alex fully and say “It’s not like you’re pig ugly and I’d be ashamed to be seen with you”

He smiles at you and he seems like he’s about to say something, but Matt gets in there first.

“Yeah to be fair if any reporter or whatever actually bothered to find your account they would see how much shit you chat and just realise that if it was real you’d probably post it before even Alex knew you were a thing” He laughs.

You and Alex laughed at that. Matt knew you so well.

You nod, “I agree. It just baffles me. Like yeah, fair enough, you guys don’t have a great deal of social media but if you’re writing a fucking article about me as well, at the very least they could look me up first”

Your rant continues with you saying, “Like fucking hell, come on Alex let’s go for a shag because we may as well now you’re officially my boyfriend again”

“I mean it’s a cross I’ll bare” Alex looks at you with a grin.

You chuckle and grin back before carrying on, “Honestly it stresses me out. I feel a twitter rant coming on” You rub your temples as you sit down on the arm of the sofa that Matt was on.

“Do it” Alex tells you but then your all interrupted.

Your phone started to ring, and the song was Crying Lightning, so you knew it was Y/B/F calling. Alex picks up your phone goes to hand it to you, but you just tell him to answer it.

Alex did so and immediately put it on speaker for you. You were about to say hello, but Y/B/F got in there with her opening statement first.

“Are you fucking Alex Turner and haven’t told me? Like are you actually sucking his dick and haven’t told me anything about it? You actual slag” She said and you knew she was joking about the slag bit.

However, your jaw was on the ground as soon as she started speaking. You looked to Alex holding your phone and you couldn’t even formulate a sorry or a joke to say.

“Hello to you too” You say in disbelief.

Y/B/F scoffs, “Don’t hello me, you snake. Are you shagging Alex Turner and haven’t told me or not?”

“Jesus. Do you not think that you are the first person I would tell if I actually did considering you’re fucking obsessed with him” You try and defend yourself.

“I’m obsessed with him? Okay, okay…” She says knowing full well that you were the obsession. Least she didn’t call you out on it.

She continues on, “Well, tell me why I’m reading things and seeing fucking adorable pictures of the two of you and you’re not sucking his dick? Because maybe you should be doing considering you’re in an ‘on and off relationship’” She starts giggling. Her joking annoyed persona failing miserably.

“Yeah Y/N, maybe you should. Get on your knees” Alex says, nodding towards the ground in front of him and you laugh.

“Wow peer pressure” You chuckle as you stand up to take your phone off him.

“But later Al, when Matt’s gone home” You wink at him with a smile.

Matt laughs at this as you return yourself to the arm of his sofa and wait for Y/B/F to start talking again.

“Honestly these pictures are the cutest thing ever. Please marry him” She coos over the phone. You can tell she’s got them up again and she’s looking at them.

“I don’t think one cute picture validates marriage Y/B/F” You tell her. Although you wish it did.

“But I really wanna be a maid of honour” She groans in a strop.

You smile at that thought, “You will be my maid of honour one day. I just need to meet my boyfriend first”

“Fuck that” She tells you “You met him in high school. You’re marrying Alex… Aw no, but if you marry him, you’ll have to change your song so you can’t”

“That’s true” You smile at her whirlwind of her speaking her mind.

“Which song? And why do you need to change it?” Alex asks you.

You chuckle at that before you look to your boys and say, “I’ve said for years that I was always going to ask you guys to perform Baby I’m Yours for the first dance at my wedding”

“Ah yeah. Can’t really have that song if you’ll be dancing with him” Matt said, and you thought to yourself ‘unfortunately not’.

“You could get Miles to sing it though” Y/B/F purposes.

“Can you stop planning mine and Alex’s wedding please” You laugh and look to Alex who’s already chuckling.

“Sorry it’s already planned out in my head. These pictures are fucking adorable” She tells you and you can just envision her sat in her spot on your settee at home scrolling though the article.

“Did I send you the other pictures of us from the night out the other day?” You ask her as you start routing through your camera roll.

“Oh my god no. Why do you think it’s okay to deprive me of that content? How dare you take more than one picture and not send me them all” She asks, and she sounds cute offended.

“Sorry hun I was on the pull. You weren’t the first thing on my mind” You say as you press send on the pictures.

“I’ve just sent them” You tell her, and you send them all to Alex too, knowing that he’d more than likely want the pictures of him and Miles.

She gasps down the phone, “Oh my god. You look like a rocker couple”

You laugh at that and then look to Alex. He’s also chuckling away but then Y/B/F carried on saying, “You look like you would fuck each other so good”

You almost choke on your words and you start talking high pitched as you say, “You’re on speaker” Your embarrassment was evident as you looked away from Alex as soon as she said it.

“Well I’m just telling the truth. I would fuck the two of you so hard” She groans down the phone.

“Please stop” You plead, your cheeks getting hotter and you’re not being able to look at either of the boys in the room. Your head just hangs in shame as you look at the blank phone in your lap.

“How would that even work?” Matt asks and you head whips up and you shake your head.

“Do not encourage this” You tell him sternly.

You look to Alex though and he’s just grinning at you. You can’t hold his gaze for more than a few seconds, you have to look away.

“Believe me Matt, it would work” Y/B/F assures him through the phone and you sigh unlocking your phone again.

“Right shut up and look at this instead” You say before sending her the picture of Alex and Miles together.

“Holy fuck. Nah you can fuck right off Y/N, I wanna be in that sandwich instead” She says and you laugh.

Matt shakes his head and asks, “What’s she on about now?”

“Al and Miles the other night” You say bringing the picture up again and she

“Don’t you fucking dare tweet that picture out” Alex tells you making you look to him again and you can see he’s not joking.

“I wasn’t going to” You smile assuring him that the new album was safe with you. You wouldn’t even tell Y/B/F.

Y/B/F then has the bright idea to yell down the phone, “She might not, but I might”

“No Y/B/F you actually can’t” You say seriously almost panicking that she might have already posted it somewhere.

“Why not? It’s fucking adorable” She asks. You agree with her that it is adorable but you can’t have the pictures of them going out from your account.

You plead with her, “Just please don’t post it anywhere”

“Why not? What am I missing? Why is them being together such a big deal? They are best friends” She rambles obviously digging for information.

“Just don’t because they will never let me take their picture again. Privacy is important to them… And for the record I think Matt’s his best friend” You say trying to steer the subject away.

“Matt’s his best friend my arse. You don’t sing together like that if yo-“ She starts but then she goes silent.

“They fucking sing together... Am I getting a last shadow puppets two?” Y/B/F clocks on and you want to die.

Your eyes widen in immediate panic and you look to Alex needing help. He looks like he’s just been let down and you feel awful.

Matt leans over and grabs your phone off you to try and distract her as Alex stands up grabs your hand and leads you into the kitchen so you can’t be overheard from her on the phone.

“I swear I didn’t say anything. I promise you. I told you I wouldn’t, and I swear to god I’ve told her nothing you’ve told me” You ramble quietly as you enter the kitchen feeling extremely bad. You had that feeling like you were about to be told that you didn’t have a friend anymore and that scared the shit out of you.

“Y/N/N stop panicking” Alex tells you shaking his head. You looked petrified and you didn’t need to be at all.

“It’s okay” He smiles assuring you everything is fine.

“It’s not though is it, because she’s just fucking guessed it and it’s my fault” You say extremely fast and you can feel yourself panicking.

“Y/N” Alex says putting his hands on your shoulders. “Breathe” He smiles before tucking a stray strand of hair behind you ear.

“Is she the same friend who found out about Suck it And See and AM?” Alex asked you once you completely his order.

“Yeah” You nod.

You remembered those old conversations well. You’d already pre-warned Alex several times before you left your bedroom that he shouldn’t bring up any album information whilst you went out and got a drink from the kitchen. You couldn’t make a cup of tea easily and still chat to him whilst you did it, so you had to put him on speaker.

He’d obviously forgotten this, and he spilt the beans about the Suck It And See’s release date. And near the end of 2012 he’d done the exact same thing whilst you were on speaker phone in your car with her when he mentioned how AM was coming together nicely.

“She’s the same Y/B/F?” He double checked and you nodded.

“Then it doesn’t matter. I’ll tell her myself” Alex tells you.

You shake your head immediately, “Al no it’s fine, I’ll just make something up later and throw her off it”

“I can’t expect you to keep that big of a secret for the next year, can I? That’s not fair to you. I know you could easily do it like you’ve done for everything else, but it’s not fair” He tells you

“Alex” You start to protest but he silences you.

“Do you trust her?” He asks you.

You quickly tells him, “It doesn’t matter if I trust her it’s your m-“

But you’re interrupted.

“Do you trust her?” Alex asks you again.

“With my life” You tell him. “But that doesn’t mean you should tell her anything”

“I trust you… And if you trust her, that’s good enough for me” Alex tells you. “And she’s kept secrets before, so you can obviously keep her in line” Alex grins and you chuckle.

Alex walks back into the lounge and he silently asks for the phone from Matt by holding his hand out. You follow him in, and you can hear Y/B/F still waffling away about whatever Matt had occupied her mind with.

Alex takes the phone off speaker though and puts it too his ear. “Hey Y/B/F”

“Yeah hey, so that picture…” Alex starts off and then you watch as he looks towards the TV listening to whatever Y/B/F is asking.

“Well because it could stir up some interest and we don’t want any of that quite yet” Alex tells her truthfully.

Alex smiles at what she’s saying and replies, “If I said that you were would you refrain from posting it for me?”

“Well you are” Alex grins and looks towards you. “Very serious. You can ask your best friend about it. She’s heard some songs”

“You’re very welcome” Alex chuckles after a while, looking around the room whilst Y/B/F speaks.

“Right. I see” Alex then starts grinning at you and you get nervous.

You raise your eyebrows at him questioningly. He shakes his head at you laughing as he silently tells you not to worry.

“Well I’ll be sure to tell her that later” He smiles, and you decide that you don’t like only hearing one side of a conversation.

Soon enough they are saying bye to each other on the phone and Alex passed you your phone back.

“What was she saying?” You asked worriedly.

Alex chuckled at that before putting a hand over his mouth to stop himself. “Nothing, don’t worry about it”

Even when Matt left after you’d both eaten you asked him again. But Alex Turner treated information like it was nuclear codes. Under lock and key all the time and you’d probably never get to hear them.

You ended up texting Y/B/F asking what was said because you knew there was no way Alex would be telling you.

And you wanted to die of embarrassment when her text came through.

You got flustered knowing that was what she promised him, no matter how much you may have wanted to do it. You couldn’t believe your best friend had promised it him.

I said that as a thank you I’d make you give him the best blowjob of his life and that you weren’t allowed to be nasty to him and make him wait when you did xx

So Y/N…

Instead of getting on your dancing shoes

Get on your knees, you sexy little swine xxx

~*~*~*~

The following days were really fun for you. You and Alex thankfully were no different around each other and you both joked around with each other a lot and the flirting was definitely still there.

Because of the whole article thing you both played on the relationship joke a lot. Which was quite nice for you to say the least.

It started off the day after when you just knew Alex wasn’t expecting the joke from last night to carry on. But you did and he was pleasantly surprised by it

“So boyfriend, what are you cooking me for tea?” You ask him nonchalantly, as you scroll past a food post on Instagram.

“Boyfriend ey?” Alex asks you.

You look around at him and note that he’s got a cute grin on his face and you smile to match it.

You shrug and tell him, “I mean that’s what you are apparently so imma embrace it”

“Okay then” Alex laughed as he got himself up off the settee.

“Why are you laughing? I read it online so it’s obviously true” You smile as you watch his movements as he circles around the sofa.

Alex grinned at that playfully replied, “So what would you like me to make for you, girlfriend?”

“Something spicy” You fire back with a touch of flirtiness to it as you look back towards the TV.

“I can whip you up something spicy upstairs if you want?” Alex says as he walks around the sofa you in and traps you in a loving headlock.

You let out a little amused him at that.

“Are actual whips involved? Because I’m down for that” You tease back trying to look around at him.

Alex lowly chuckles down your ear which makes you smirk. “Oh, next year’s gunna be good” He meets your eyes and grins as he lets you go.

“What do you mean next year? We’ve been doing this the past nine Al” You joke with him as he walks into the kitchen and you hear him laugh.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

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Other parts can be found in Masterlist in bio

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illfoandillfie · 4 years

Text

5 Simple Rules for a Successful Fake Relationship: One Small Hitch

READ PART 1

Pairing: Ben Hardy x Reader

summery: You and Ben have your first official date and settle into your "relationship". But, with filming coming to a close, you'll need to be more committed to the act than before, especially when Ben's keeping secrets.

Warnings: Again, nothing much. Some language. Drinking. Nothing else I can think of.

Words: 8355

AN: Chapter 2 is finally here! Sorry for the delay but hopefully the next part will be up faster. I'm really really enjoying writing this series and I am so very excited about what's coming! The song mentioned is Reckless Serenade by Arctic Monkeys. Sidenote: Can anyone work out the theme of the chapter titles?

Taglist: @laedymoon @dtfrogertaylor @vee-ndetta @atomic-watermelon @kellypenac @labessieisallama @deakyclicks @jennyggggrrr @drowseoftaylor @hannafuckingsucks @i-cant-hangout-im-drumming @queenmylovely @supersonicfreddie

“I’ve got something for you,” you half shouted at Ben when you saw him walking towards you from across the field you were filming in. You shuffled your shitty takeaway coffee into your other hand so you could reach into your bag, pulling out a piece of paper folded in half. He took it and pulled you into a hug, pressing a kiss to the top of your head. “Funny cause I have something for you too,” Ben said as he let you go, reaching into his backpack and handing you a magazine, “Oh, shit, it’s our rules. You want page 15 by the way.” “Figured you’d want a record of them. What exactly am I looking f-” you let the word hang as you found the right page. It was decorated with a photo of you and Ben kissing on his doorstep, his hand around your back, the shirt you’d borrowed riding up just enough that it was clear you didn’t have shorts on underneath as you clutched at him. There was some text beside it, mentions of your most notable roles and his, a brief description of the movie you were in the process of making, and some speculatory remarks with a couple of innuendos thrown in. The usual gossip mag fare. On the other side of the paragraph was another photo, both of you leaving set the previous Friday, hand in hand and smiling. “We look pretty good together,” you laughed, getting only a noncommittal grunt in return. He’d suddenly become very interested in the sheet you’d handed him, staring at it like he hadn’t been there when it was written. You reread the brief article, trying not to gawk at the photographs. It certainly looked believable. “I’ve had about four people wish us well this morning,” Ben suddenly said, seemingly pulling himself together, folding up the rules and shoving them into his back pocket, “and I’ve not been here long. It’s kinda weird having everyone know we’re together. Or think we’re together,” he quickly corrected himself. “Yeah, Mel kept asking me questions about it while she was doing my makeup this morning, so I hope she took my awkwardness as me wanting to keep things private and not me not knowing how to answer some of them.” Ben chuckled, “yeah, Gail gave me a bit of a grilling too. I just told her we’d been sort of seeing each other for a few weeks and had only just like made it official or whatever and she seemed to buy it.” “Good, I told Mel the same sort of thing. Hopefully that’s enough for them.” “I’m more concerned with what my friends are going to say. I don’t think any of them read Heat though so hopefully it doesn’t come up any time soon,” “Lucky. My friend Felicity has the dumb site bookmarked. Checks it religiously. Bloody miracle she hasn’t called yet.” “Better turn of your phone then,” “And come back to a full voicemail and about a hundred texts demanding to know why I’m ghosting her?” “Tell her you were filming. I do it all the time,” he was grinning at you and you couldn’t help but grin back as you pulled your phone out and shut it off, “atta girl,” he pulled you into his side and gave you an affectionate squeeze that you leaned into , fully aware of how many people were around you, potentially watching. It was a feeling that didn’t really let up. You knew, rationally, that everyone there was focused on their jobs, but you couldn’t help feeling like you were constantly being scrutinised, and not just for your acting. It didn’t help when Seth had to stop recording to fix a problem with the boom mic and, good-humouredly, said, “don’t worry lovebirds, we’ll have her running in a second.” Or that one of the ADs delivered your call sheets for the next day with a, “I always thought you’d be cute together.” And it certainly didn’t help when you turned your phone on at the end of the day to find a series of texts from Felicity each with more exclamation points and capital letters than the last, and a missed call from Mary. “Better call her back,” Ben said, following you towards the carpark. You rolled your eyes, already holding the phone up to your ear listening to it ring. “Y/N, I was just about to try you again,” “Sorry, Mary, I had my phone off while we were recording, what’s the matter?” “Are you free this weekend?” “Um yeah, I think so, why?” “We’d like for you and Ben to go on a date this weekend. Somewhere in London preferably but it’s up to you. You saw the article in Heat? It seems to be going well. The hits your names have got on google have increased and there have been a few tweets about it. Nothing huge, you’re not trending or anything but you’re still relatively unknown so we weren’t expecting that to happen, certainly not overnight. But we think if we get a date story out quickly it’ll really help get people interested.” You rubbed your temple as you tried to process everything she’d just said, “Okay, I’ll talk to him and we’ll organise something. I’ll text you the details once I have them.” “Okay, let me know as soon as you can though. And send Peter the info too.” “Will do. See ya Mary.” “Was that about me?” Ben asked, smiling as he leaned against your car. “You up for a date this weekend? Apparently the first story went well and they want a follow up ASAP.” “Sure, where are we going?” “I don’t know, somewhere around London would apparently be best, but we get to choose. Any thoughts?” He thought for a moment, “This isn’t our first date is it? Like, we’ve said we’ve been on others before, right?” “Yeah, why?” “Well normally for a first date I take girls out for dinner and then, depending on the girl and how the dinner went, either a quiet drink or like a romantic as fuck walk in the park or something.” “That’s pretty standard stuff, Ben,” “Yeah, but in the fiction of us as a couple, this isn’t our first date. This’d be, what?” “Fifth maybe?” “Fifth. So I’m still trying to impress you a bit, but it’s like, more relaxed. We’ve done the dinner date, we’ve done coffee and a movie, we’ve even done the Museum. Now we’re getting into the fun shit.” “Museums don’t count as fun shit?” you chuckled, not sure where his train of thought was taking you. “It’s a bit overdone is all.” “What do you have in mind then?” “There’s this place that runs art classes during the day, right? Life drawing or like painting for beginner's type stuff. But a couple of nights a week they run these art and wine nights. They’ll give you a canvas or a ceramic figure or something like that and some paints and you can have a few drinks and do something arty. I did it with some mates a while ago, had heaps of fun. Seemed like the sort of thing yo- a girl might like to do on a date.” “That definitely sound fun.” “Really? You’re into it?” “Yeah, for sure.” “Okay,” Ben pulled out his phone and began typing, “shall I book us in for the Saturday night ceramics session?” “Go ahead. What time was that, so I can let Mary and Peter know.” “Seven thirty. If we get a cab in a little earlier we can grab something to eat on our way.” “Cool, okay I’ll text them. Is it BYO?” “Yeah. They do sell some stuff but it’s a pretty small selection.” “Okay, well that’s something to look forward to. Anyway, I should be going since I have about a million texts to sort through, I’ll see you tomorrow.” “Wait, one thing,” Ben said before you could open your car door, “There’s a few people coming off set now so I’m going to kiss you, okay?” “Thanks for the heads up,” “No worries,” he stepped closer, his hand rising to cup your cheek as he kissed you softly. He took longer to break away than you’d expected, letting the kiss deepen instead, but you didn’t mind too much. It was a good kiss. And if it hadn’t been for Ben and the movie, you would have been severely lacking them recently. Which explained the vague feeling of disappointment that hit you when he did step back.

On your way home your phone beeped with another text from Felicity but you ignored it until you were inside and changed into the comfiest clothes you could find, flopping down on your bed to scroll through what she’d written. They varied from, “omg why didn’t you tell me about this Ben guy?” to “Y/N!!! Answer my texts!!!” all the way up to, “BITCH!!! CALL ME!!!!” She picked up on the first ring. “Where the fuck have you been all day?” “Some of us don’t have office jobs we hate,” you laughed, “I actually had to work, funnily enough, and because we were on location I had to keep my phone off while we recorded.” “Well I’ve been going crazy over here. Imagine my shock when I boot up my computer and open Heat and see your fucking arse being grabbed by your co-star.” “He was not grabbing my arse.” “Close enough. You didn’t tell me how fucking gorgeous he is.” “No, well, I don’t usually think about the people I work with like that, do I?” “Which is why I was so surprised to see you’ve shacked up with one of them.” “It’s not quite that serious.” “One night stands aren’t your usual thing. Definitely not with guys you work with anyway.” “I never said it was a one night stand, just that it wasn’t super serious!” “How many times then?” “We’ve been on like four dates.” “You fuckhead! You mean to tell me you’re actually dating this guy, who by the way looks like he could be a fucking underwear model, and you didn’t think to tell me? No so much as a I got dicked down by a total babe aren’t you jealous message?” “I didn’t want to make a big deal out of it if it wasn’t going to go anywhere.” “But still, I’m your best friend, I tell you about every shag I have.” “In graphic detail,” “Exactly.” “Look it’s just a bit weird still. Neither of us have really hooked up with a co-star before and we didn’t want to say anything until we worked out what was happening.” “I guess that makes sense,” you could tell she didn’t mean it, “But, now that it’s out you owe me. I want to hear all about it.” “There’s not much to tell. We became quite good friends during all the pre-production stuff when we were rehearsing and all that. Our director wanted to make sure we clicked and had the right chemistry and stuff, since it’s a romcom and our characters get engaged in the first scene, so we hung out a lot. And then just before filming started he asked me out. Took me to this nice Chinese restaurant. It was fun so we agreed to go out again and it’s sort of just kept going.” “Those photos, was that the first time you’d stayed over at his?” “Second. First time was a couple of weeks ago. The night that led to the photos was just a few drinks after work with some of the others and we ended up ducking out a bit early and wound up at his.” “And?” “And what?” You had a hard time not laughing when you heard her groan. Her eagerness to know every sordid detail made her easy to fuck with, and that made the whole business of being secretive a lot more fun. “And, how was he?” “I mean…y’know,” “Y/N, I swear to god,” “He was good, okay? Really good,” you remembered what Ben had told you to say, trying not to laugh too much while you repeated it, “like, three orgasms good.” “Shit, really?” “Uhuh. And then another in the morning.” Felicity replied with a long whistle, “shit, girl, hold onto that one then. That’s definitely worth any trouble working together could cause." “Believe me, I know. We’re going out again this weekend.” It was surprisingly easy to lie about dating Ben. Though, of course, you weren’t technically lying since you would be going on a date. “Shit man, date five. That’s serious shit. You better tell me everything, in graphic detail.”

When you told Ben about the conversation the next day, admitting you’d spent ages praising his sexual prowess, he laughed and then thanked you, pulling you into a tight bear hug. You thought it was a slight overreaction considering he’d been the one to tell you what to say but his happiness was infectious, and you found yourself smiling more than normal as you hung out between scenes. An attitude which could only help your performance, making people more ready to believe you were a couple. His easy laughter and bright smiles continued until the afternoon when you were telling him more about Felicity and what you’d talked about. “She thinks you’re a keeper and kept telling me not to let you go.” “Your friend knows what she’s talking about.” “Lucky for you I can’t let you go since it’s all written up in a contract,” Ben laughed but when you glanced at him his smile seemed to falter. “You okay?” “Brilliant. Just had a bit of a late night and it’s catching up on me. Think I might try to have a quick nap before we’re needed again.” “I was thinking of grabbing another coffee if you want one?” “Thanks Y/N but I think the nap will do me more good.” “Probably better people don’t see us heading off to a trailer together anyway or they’ll suspect we’re getting up to mischief.” “Very true. I’ll see you a bit later.” “Sleep well!” Ben turned to leave, his smile seeming more forced than earlier. You would have worried except he seemed to be back to normal when he was called for your next scene. And it continued on through the week, his happiness only getting more pronounced the closer it got to the weekend.

You couldn’t quite match his energy on Friday, anxiety over your date getting stronger the closer you got to it. Hanging out at his place had been easy, even if it did include leaving half dressed. All you’d had to do was kiss him which you’d done enough times during filming that it was no longer too odd. But a proper date was something else. It was going to be the first real test you faced, the first time you’d really have to sell yourselves to the public as more than co-stars and more than a hook-up. “Hey are you okay?” “Huh?” “Your jiggling your leg a lot which you only do when something’s worrying you, what is it?” “Oh,” you forced your leg to stop moving, “nothing,” “Is it about our date tonight?” “What if it’s bad? What if we don’t look like we’re actually together and Mary and Pete have to cancel the whole thing?” “I’d get a decent night sleep not thinking about us,” he muttered. “What?” “I’ve been worried about it too,” he said louder, “but I think we’ll be okay. It’s not like we’ll be starved for conversation and we’ll have the paint and the wine and we’ll be fine. Plus, weren’t you the one who said this would be easy?” “Yeah I was,” you said sheepishly, “but -” “No buts. It’ll be a piece of cake. We go and have a good time painting a couple of plates or bowls or whatever, and then hold hands while we head home. They’ll get whatever shots they get, and they’ll spin it so we look like a couple.” “Yeah, you’re right. Sorry,” “It’s okay,” he reached out to rub the back of your hand, smiling softly at you, “the nerves might actually help you look like you’re legit. And worst comes to worst we can always run lines. I’m honestly so much more nervous about shooting that scene tomorrow.” “The one where we’re playing matchmaker?” “Yes! Have you seen how many names are in there?” “Theres like six, Ben,” “Yeah but they’re all repeated, and I know I’m going to get the order wrong,” You giggled and shook your head, “You’re unbelievable,” “Oh whatever,” he pushed your shoulder almost making you overbalance, “Just cos you know the lines already.”

Ben’s efforts to calm you down worked and you got through the rest of the workday without a hitch. Though your stomach was once again tight with nerves in the hours before the date. You spent a solid half hour standing in front of your wardrobe, freshly washed hair slowly dripping down the back of the towel you had wrapped around you, trying to settle on what to wear. When you were finally dressed you checked and rechecked the contents of your purse, and, in a moment of panic, you grabbed the heavily highlighted and notated script pages with the matchmaker scene and shoved them in beside your lipstick and bank card. By the time Ben arrived in an Uber to pick you up, ushering you into the backseat with a kiss on the cheek and a complement about how lovely you looked, you felt like you were on the verge of throwing up. But, once again, Ben’s natural charm eased your mind. The way he talked to you and smiled constantly had your heart rate slowing and your stomach settling within minutes. Even the way he squeezed your hand when he helped you out of the car, and the way he laced his fingers with yours as he led you towards your destination were welcome comforts. “D’you wanna grab something to eat?” Ben asked, stopping on a corner and looking around, annoyed people passing by on both sides. “Uhh, s’pose so.” “Has anyone ever told you you’re indecisive?” “I swear I’m not normally.” “Oh? Do I make you nervous, snookum?” he asked, playfully. “No, you git,” you laughed back, though you found it hard to meet his eyes, “I just don’t know I’m that hungry.” “Well, keep in mind there’ll be wine drinking. Don’t want to do that on an empty stomach.” “Valid argument. What’s nearby?” After some wandering you ended up in a McDonalds, Ben wolfing down a burger while you picked at the fries, not quite certain you’d be able to keep your food down. It was when you were coming out of a bottle shop, Ben holding the wine you’d agreed on, that you spotted the photographer. It was the same one who’d been outside Ben’s house when you stayed over, camera aimed at the two of you. Quietly you nudged Ben. He just wrapped an arm around you, pulling you into his side as you walked. You struggled to not watch the photographer as he followed you towards the art studio, having to keep reminding yourself to pretend he wasn’t there. “Relax,” Ben said softly in your ear, “He’s not important.” You nodded, afraid if you said anything you’d lose the meagre dinner you’d had. Ben’s thumb rubbing over your own gave you something else to focus on, counting each soft, smooth stroke, until you reached the right place.

You weren’t the only couple there, far from it. Most of the claimed tables were taken by pairs sitting close together, hands clasped or laying on thighs as they talked. A few tables held larger groups, double dates maybe or perhaps just friends. You felt a few eyes on you as you found a table close to the clear glass of the shopfront, but they turned away again quickly, more interested in their own little bubbles than yours. You glanced outside to check if the photographer was still there but couldn’t see much more than the reflection of you and Ben. His knee bumped yours under the table as he leaned toward you, pressing a finger to your jaw to turn your head towards him. “Forget the photographer. Forget Mary and Peter. Forget our arrangement. We're just two friends having a fun night out, okay?” “Okay,” “Okay. So what are you thinking of painting then?” He unscrewed the bottle of wine and grabbed one of the glasses you’d been handed on arrival. “Well what are my options?” “Well there’s your classic teacup, mug or plate options. There’s a couple of different jewellery boxes, I think. And then there are the statues, ummm, fairy, dragon, alien. Maybe a princess one, I can’t remember.” “More than I thought there’d be. What were you thinking?” “I did a dragon last time I was here. But I think I’m going to do a mug this time. Need some extras if you’re gonna be staying over more often.” “Maybe we should both do mugs, then? Something we can use at each other’s places.” “Alright, deal. But we can’t look at what the other is painting until they’re done.” “That’s going to be so hard!” you laughed, feeling properly relaxed for the first time all night. “Yeah but it’ll be fun though. Wait here, I’ll go grab us the mugs.” You took the opportunity to look around the room, trying to think of what Ben might like on a mug. There was art everywhere – paintings hanging on walls, examples of what the classes could teach you, decorated ceramics lining windowsills and shelves. Judging by the wildly differing levels of talent displayed, you assumed at least some of them were left behind and never claimed. There were plates decorated with fruit trees and ocean scenes, jugs covered in splatters of different colours, aliens in shimmery blue and princesses with green hair and orange dresses. But nothing that sparked your imagination. The noise of the room was steadily growing as everyone got stuck into their creations. Ben sat down, took a drink and got to work mixing colours. “You know what you’re going to do then?” “I have an idea. But I will warn you I’m not a particularly good artist so it might not look anything like what it’s meant to.” You picked up your blank mug and put it down again, tapping the end of a paintbrush against the table as you tried to come up with an idea. What did Ben like? He liked coffee. And dogs. And his guitar. More than once he’d brought it to set, playing it in his downtime. He’d been embarrassed the first time you mentioned overhearing him as you passed by his trailer, but you’d assured him you’d liked listening to him. You’d had the song stuck in your head for a week afterwards. “Made up your mind, have you?” Ben asked, glancing up from his handiwork as you mixed a pale peach colour. “No peeking,” “I wasn’t peeking. If I’d been peeking, I would have done this,” Ben craned his neck, leaning over to where your mug was. You laughed and pulled the mug closer to you, pushing him away with your other hand. He caught it in his own, taking the paintbrush from you, “Oi, careful with that.” “Oops, sorry,” Ben laughed and kissed your palm before letting you have your hand back, “No harm done. But y’know if you splattered me I’d have no choice but to get payback.” There was no need to reach for the script you’d brought as you and Ben fell into conversation while you painted. He asked if you’d had any more awkward phone calls with your friends and told you about what had happened when his mates had found out. Nothing like the conversation you’d endured, though there’d been plenty of teasing. You had to admonish him for nearly getting paint on your work when he began using the largest brush he had to artistically spray drops of paint over his mug. And then he’d laughed when you paused, admitting out loud that you weren’t actually sure how to paint the thing you’d planned on painting. He’d promised not to peek while you whipped out your phone to look up a reference image, going to far as to cover his eyes just to make sure. Once you gave him the okay he went back to painting, switching to a thinner brush and shushing you so he could concentrate. It was ridiculous how cute he looked, tongue between his teeth, bent over the mug as he slowly outlined the design. You shook your head to clear the thought and went back to your own work.

“Okay, I’m done. You wanna see now?” “Yes, absolutely. Unless you think we should wait until after they’ve been glazed?” “Fuck that, we can’t pick them up for a couple of days, I wanna show you now.” “Alright, show me then,” you put down your brush, focusing all your attention onto the mug in Ben’s hands. The base coat was a light purple, with splatters of darker purple over top. Slowly he turned the mug to show you the design on the front. It bore a slightly wonky engagement ring, similar to the one his character gave yours in the movie. On either side of the ring, in thin, not quite straight lettering, was the words we’re really good at this dating thing. You smiled as soon as you read the quote from the script, “I love it, Ben” “Thought it was kind of fitting,” he chuckled, “plus it’ll be a nice little souvenir once the movie wraps.” “That was a fun scene to shoot. Best proposal I’ve ever had.” Ben smiled and carefully turned his mug back towards him, “Best proposal I’ve ever given,” He seemed to be about to say something but stopped himself, shaking his head. You lowered your voice, “Promise I’ll get to keep it after we break up?” “Promise,” Ben said, matching your level and leaning in close, “Until then maybe you can use it as a reminder whenever you feel anxious about this whole��dating thing.” “Thanks, I will.” You were suddenly very aware of how softly you were speaking, how close you were sitting, leaning in to hear each other over the rest of the room, and for a split second you thought he was going to kiss you again. But then the moment passed, the noise of the room intruding as Ben leaned back in his seat, “So do I get to see mine?” “Uh, it’s not quite done,” you said, picking up your brush again, the moment gone, “give me another couple of minutes.” “Masterpieces take time, I get it,” “This is by no stretch a masterpiece,” “I’ll be the judge of that thanks very much,” Ben turned to look out over the room while you tried to finish your painting without smudging anything, occasionally making comments about other people there or the art that decorated the room. You took one last look at what you’d painted, the guitar with the words stun gun lullaby written in cursive beside it, “Alright, I’m done now, you can look. Careful, some of it’s still wet.” Ben gently took hold of the handle and turned the mug so the design faced him. He broke out into a grin and you felt relieved that he liked it. “It’s definitely a masterpiece. For someone who didn’t know how to draw a guitar you’ve done an incredible job. And how did you know that’s one of my favourite songs?” “Is it? It's just the song I overheard you playing that one time. I thought that line was a good one for a mug. Nice and short so I didn’t have to paint too much.” “This is definitely my new favourite mug.” “Oh stop it.” “And hey, they kind of match.” You laughed when he pointed out the similarities, “Guess they do. Y’know that’d make a pretty cute Instagram post.” “You going to tag me as my mug?” “Of course. You could post a photo and tag me in it too,” “I don’t know. I don’t really post much personal stuff online.” “Well at least comment on mine,” “I can do that.”

After you’d taken a decent photo and posted it online you cleaned up, handed your mugs over to the woman running the night’s activity and stepped back out into the night. There was no sign of the photographer anywhere and you supposed he’d got what he needed and then left. Still, Ben grabbed your hand as you walked back up the street, just in case you’d missed the photographer in the crowd. “Guess that means we don’t have to worry about going home together,” you said, nudging Ben. “Guess not,” his lips quirked down in a soft frown.” “What is it?” “Nothing, nothing, just...feels kind of weird to just end the date here, I guess,” he scratched the back of his head and laughed, “Normally I’d offer to give you a lift home. Or at least give you a good night kiss, but I guess that’s not really needed now.” “Well, it’s like you said, we’re just friends having a fun night out. We could share a ride home though, if you wanted. You live near enough to mine it wouldn’t matter.” “Nah, don’t worry about it. I actually might go grab something to eat, don’t think that burger was quite enough. See you on Monday?” “Oh, yeah, okay, see you Monday.” There was a pause, both of you hesitating and then Ben gave you a much too quick hug before he walked off, disappearing into the crowd. You sighed and hailed a passing cab, spending the whole ride home wondering what the hell had just happened. But you pushed it from your mind once you were home, going through your usual nightly routine and very deliberately thinking of anything other than Ben. It didn’t help much. You still dreamt about him. Dreamt about the goodnight kiss you’d missed out on.

When you woke you had to laugh at yourself. You were sure that, had you binged a few episodes of a tv show or read something before you’d gone to bed you would have dreamt about it instead. Brains were suggestable like that. When you felt awake enough you rolled over and grabbed your phone finding a text from Ben and one from Felicity and an email from Mary. You opened Mary’s first, skimming over it and vowing to look at it properly once you had a coffee in your system. Ben’s was much easier to understand, a short message to say he had fun last night and that he’d pick the mugs up on his way to work on Monday. Felicity’s was just a series of question marks. You sent back a short response saying the date had been a lot of fun. It wasn’t enough and she was bound to come back at you asking for more details, but it would have to satisfy her. Slowly you got out of bed and made yourself a coffee, setting your laptop up next to you at the kitchen counter so you could try to read Mary’s email again. There was some information about some scripts she was going to send you, a couple of potential future roles, but the majority of the email was about you and Ben. She’d already seen the photos, apparently, and some of them would be run in the coming week’s magazine while others were being put online. She’d also seen the Instagram post and commended you for thinking of it. Another date would have to be organised, but it was better to wait until the next weekend or even the one after, so as not to fatigue the public.

So you and Ben fell into the routine of it. An email from one or other of your agents sometimes as vague as just telling you to organise a date, sometimes much more specific in what they wanted you to be doing, then the date itself, and in between work where you played up the romance as much as possible. You got good at pretending to stay over at each other's places, often just hanging out watching TV or running lines until the photographer called it a night and you were free to leave. Once or twice you’d opted to sleep in your own bed but get up early and head over to Ben’s for the required morning after shots but that process got old very quickly so you ended up actually staying over more and more. There was one day when your period came unexpectedly while you were at Ben’s. You were halfway through asking him to take you home when he offered to run to the store for you instead. “No, no, you don’t have to go out of your way like that, I’ve got plenty at home I just didn’t think I’d need any today.” “Y/N, I promise, it’s no trouble. I feel bad I don’t have anything here for you already. Been a while since I’ve lived with a girl and it didn’t even cross my mind. Seriously, it’ll take me two minutes.” When you still weren’t convinced he continued, “Plus, if I go we won’t ruin Peter and Mary’s plan for today. And the Paps can get a shot of me staring at boxes of tampons like a good caring boyfriend. It’ll help our image.” “Oh alright, as long as you don’t mind.” He was out the door a second later and back within ten minutes, though you did get a call from him at the shop, asking what brand you preferred. Once he was home, he made you a cup of tea, gave you a painkiller and, after checking you didn’t mind, cuddled up with you on the couch, teasingly calling you his cuddle bunny as he pulled you back against his chest. You almost complained, almost cited Rule 5, but it wasn’t so bad. Some might even go so far as to call it cute. It was better than snookum at any rate.

The dates themselves got easier after the first. You knew what to expect now so it wasn’t as nerve wracking as before. And Ben was always fun to be around, your list of inside jokes steadily growing as he became the one person you spent the most time with. You let yourselves relax a bit. On your third date Ben’s arm stayed glued around your waist as you walked around the zoo, only losing contact when a lemur jumped on his shoulder and you stepped back to take a photo. It wasn’t low enough to violate the rules you’d put in place but his hand was dangerously close to falling below your belt, and it was definitely something you would have put a stop to when you first started the charade. The Instagram posts had got more frequent too, though Ben still refused to post anything to his own profile. But he commented on everything you posted whether it involved him or not. And people were buying it. You’d been moved from page 15 to page 13 and then to page 10 in the magazines. You both picked up more followers online as your photos were shared across Twitter and Facebook and Tumblr. There were some downsides like rude comments and nasty messages but mostly they were easy to ignore. Worse were the phone calls and messages from family members and friends asking when they’d get to meet Ben. He’d had to fend off his own family as well, but you both stuck to Rule 4, making up excuses and promising it would happen eventually, but it just wasn’t possible right now. But your biggest problem was the issue of intimacy. It wasn’t the lack of sex itself, that was easily managed. It was that Ben had started to intrude on your fantasies. You’d be there with your fingers or your toys and suddenly it was Ben’s voice you were thinking of, Ben’s hands, Ben’s teeth and tongue and chest. Ben’s name falling from your lips. And you knew it was just because you were pretending to date him, on and off set. It was the dumb suggestable brain thing again. The thoughts were only there because you were pretending to be in love with him and usually sex was tied up with love or at least relationships. And really, you hadn’t been attracted to anyone much lately because you hadn’t been looking because you’d been pretending to be attracted to Ben so it’s really no wonder you’re brain got all confused and mixed him into those other thoughts. The first time you saw him after it first happened you wondered if he could tell, a slightly flustered awkwardness hanging over you. But it wasn’t worth mentioning to anyone. You just vowed to push him out of your mind as much as you could.

Nearly two months later you found yourselves back in the office where the idea of pretending to date was first floated. With filming drawing to a close Mary and Peter were keen to check in with you. The first thing either of them said when you and Ben turned up is how well the story was going. “Projections have the sales for this movie increased by five percent, just because of your relationship and that number is expected to grow as we get closer to release,” Mary spoke fast though whether that was excitement at the boosted numbers or just a busy schedule rushing her along you weren’t sure. “What happens now?” Ben asked, “I mean, since we won’t be filming together anymore after this week,” “That’s exactly why we wanted to talk with you both today,” Peter opened a pocket notebook and thumbed through a couple of pages, “so not much will change but we may occasionally need to balance out the loss of on set photos with shots of you out and about together. Nothing stressful and all very easily staged. You probably wouldn’t even need to be out for more than an hour or so at a time. People have been loving the domestic sort of photos you’ve been putting online, Y/N, that one of you using the coffee mugs you painted was especially good. So we’d like a few more of those sorts of moments. The two of you grocery shopping or walking a dog, do either of you have a dog? No? Hmmm, we could hire a dog and write a story about you sitting for a friend. We’ll put a pin in that for now. But yes, just some candid shots of you walking around London and doing regular everyday things together.” “We’ll also need to schedule the argument soon. We’re thinking somewhere within the first two weeks of filming being over. It means we can run speculation about whether the relationship is on the rocks now that you aren’t working together anymore. We’ll see how things go this week and make some decisions later, but we’ll give you plenty of warning before you have to perform it. Obviously, it has to be scheduled so we can guarantee someone will get photos but we need it to seem as natual as possible so we’ll leave the specifics of the argument up to you.” You nodded along but Ben had more questions. “What does this mean for any jobs we might be looking at taking after this movie wraps?” “You can still take on whatever roles you want provided they’re filming here. It’s harder to keep you in the public eye if you’re separated and while the drama of a long-distance relationship might be interesting at first, it’s not sustainable.” “If it was filming somewhere else in the UK we could maybe organise something. We’d have to look into it and see if it was possible to stick to our same plan but just shift the location. Maybe have a weekend visit angle to it, Y/N flies out to see Ben, Ben comes home to see Y/N, that kind of thing.” “Leave it with us Ben and we’ll get back to you on the logistics of it all.” “Oh, that’s okay, I don’t have anything set in stone, I was just curious.” “Is there anything else you have questions about?” “No, I don’t think so,” He looked towards you. “No, I’m all good.” “Okay, well, if you think of anything you can message us any time.” “Really, though, this is going very well. It’s already paying off but we need to keep the momentum during the post-production phase, so we need you both to be committed to this.” “We are.” “Unbelievably committed,” Ben added.

You and Ben left the meeting joking about potential arguments you could have and for the rest of the day, whenever you passed each other in the halls or had a moment alone you’d try to one up each other's suggestions. It was a good way to keep your spirits up even though the end of filming was fast approaching. One by one each cast member recorded their last scenes, saying an emotional thank you to the crew when the director called cut. You and Ben were the last to finish since you were the leads. A small pillow talk scene that you could do in your sleep. It was a nice way to end it, lying in bed with Ben’s arms around you, even with the heat of the studio lights. While you were waiting for the cameras to be positioned you and Ben joked around with the crew that were flitting around angling mics and adjusting set decorations. “Hey, Seth,” Ben said suddenly, “can you pass me my phone. I think we need to document this moment. What d’you say, cuddle bunny?” You laughed and poked him in the side but agreed. Ben stuck his arm straight up into the air, trying to angle the camera just right but he couldn’t quite get the photo to take without blurring. Seth took pity on you and offered to take the photo himself, allowing you and Ben to snuggle in close. “If you post it on Insta you better credit me,” Set laughed, turning it round to show you. “I’ll do that,” He said with a smile, “It’s pretty cute, I think I have to post it.” “Really?” you asked, surprised he’d volunteer to do such a thing. Ben didn’t have a chance to respond because everything was ready to go. Seth put the phone back away so you could film the scene, laughing in between takes until everyone was satisfied. “That’s a wrap on Ben Hardy and Y/N Y/L/N everybody,” A round of applause started as you pushed yourself to sit up, trying to stop yourself from welling up. “And that’s a wrap on The Perfect Match.” The applause continued and Ben pulled you into a tight hug, rubbing your back and pressing a kiss to the top of your head. You had to say a few words but you managed to get through it, and Ben’s little speech, without completely losing it. Afterwards, as people packed up the equipment and you headed back to your trailers to change, Ben pulled out his phone again. “I guess I should post that photo now, how’s this caption,” he said each word slowly as he typed it out, “Thank you Y/N for being the perfect Edith to my Andy. And thank you @theperfectmatchmovie for finding me my perfect match.” “Did you tag me?” “Of course,” “Did you tag Seth?” “Uhhhh, camera emoji by @seththesoundman. Now I have,” “Then it’s perfect. Little bit cheesy but I’ll let it slide.” “I’ll post another lot of photos with everyone else later and write a longer thing about how much fun this movie was and all of that, but I think this’ll do for the minute. Mary and Peter better fucking appreciate it.”

That evening most of the cast and crew headed out for drinks at the local pub. The official party would come later but everyone needed to get out and celebrate for an evening. You and Ben stayed for a few hours, Ben getting a little more clingy with each drink he finished. You limited yourself to only a couple. Ben wasn’t going to be able to drive so you decided to fall on that sword, switching to water quite early on. When he reached the point of intoxication that had him constantly complementing everyone you decided to call it a night, taking a final lap to say goodnight to everyone. There were a few wolf whistles and slurred comments about getting some as you left, Ben’s arm around your waist and his laugh in your ear, but you waved them off and led Ben out to your car. “C’mon Benny boy, I’ll drop you home.” “What about my car?” “Well you’ll have to come get it in the morning, won’t you.” He hummed and lay his head against the back of the seat, chatting animatedly as you made the trip to his. You wished him goodnight as he got out of the car and watched him make his way up to his front door. There he paused, patting his pockets. “Everything alright? You called out to him. “I don’t have any keys,” he laughed, turning around to come back to the car. “You fucking goon, did you leave them at the pub?” “Guess so,” he shrugged, “Can I crash at yours?” “Get in,” “Thanks cuddle bunny, you’re the best” You rolled your eyes, “Guess this means I’ll be your taxi tomorrow, running you around to find your keys and your car,” “That’s what girlfriends are for,” “If you say so.”

Once at yours you headed to the kitchen to make tea, Ben following to grab a glass of water and a snack. He knew where you kept everything by now, making himself a sandwich with whatever he found in your fridge, and then carrying it out to the couch. By the time the teas were made Ben already had Netflix queued up, ready to play the next episode of the series you’d started watching together. Nearly Twenty minutes into the episode Ben’s phone dinged. “Ah shit,” he said as he glanced at it, “forgot I said I’d call Joe. Do you mind if we pause the ep? We’re trying to organise travel stuff for him and it’s easier if we talk it through rather than texting it all.” “Sure,” “I promise I won’t be long.” “Take your time, it’s fine,” you were already reaching for your laptop. Ben smiled at you before ducking out of the room. You head him walking down the hall, footsteps fading as he got further away. For a while you just enjoyed the quiet as you checked your emails and social media profiles but after commenting on the photo Ben had posted and replying to a few messages from people you knew there wasn’t really much left to do. You drummed your fingers on your keyboard trying to think of another website you could visit. There was still no sign of Ben and you didn’t want to continue the show without him so you stood up, stretched, and headed back to the kitchen to grab some chocolate from the stash you kept. You were just about to shut the fridge when you heard Ben’s voice coming from the other side of the wall. Your spare room where he’d clearly gone to make his phone call. “Yeah, Joe, I fucking know. But I don’t have much choice.” He sounded more sober than he had when he’d got up. There was a pause as Joe spoke and then you heard Ben again. “I don’t know what I was thinking getting into this mess…..Yeah maybe. Doesn’t really matter though now does it…. What’s that supposed to mean? I can’t just call it quits now, the story is doing too well and Peter has assured me that the numbers are promising or whatever I don’t really know how they measure it. All I know is that people are going to see the movie because of us.” There was a long pause. You quietly shut the fridge and took a step back towards the doorway. This was not a conversation you should be listening in to. But then Ben spoke again, and curiosity got the better of you. “It doesn’t matter Joe. It doesn’t matter how I feel.” He laughed but it was completely devoid of humour, “Of course it sucks. It’s fucking shit, man. I just keep waiting for her to tell me she feels the same but it’s not happening…... No, I know it’s completely one sided…..No, I don’t think she knows. She wouldn’t have wanted to do it in the first place if she knew…. I just wish things were different. I love being around her and being able to hold her and kiss her but it fucking sucks that it’s only in public….. I don’t know. Maybe not filming together will ma-” You could feel your cheeks burning as you tiptoed back towards the lounge room, not quite sure what to do with yourself. You paced back and forth for a moment before deciding to go to the bathroom, at least then Ben couldn’t walk in on you as you tried to process it. You let the door shut loudly behind you, hoping that if Ben had heard movement he’d think you’d just got up to use the loo. He couldn’t know you’d overheard him. You leaned against the sink and tried to make sense of what you’d heard. Ben couldn’t have a crush on you, he just couldn’t. But it was the only thing he could have been talking about. What the fuck did that mean for your arrangement? What the fuck were you meant to do now?

#my writing #my fics #ben hardy x reader #ben hardy imagine #ahhhhhhh #ya'll im so excited about this series #i have all the chapters planned out #i have all the titles planned out #i wrote a short synopsis of the film they're making #so that i can reference it throughout the fic and be consistent in what the scenes might be #god can ben please just make a romcom now #i want it more than anything in the world

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