#finances are one of the topics I DO NOT care about and I WILL NOT listen to a word you say
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"But if college was free, then people would abuse that and get useless degrees" hell yeah I would! If I could go to college without debt I would make it my job to get a degree in every little thing that interested me. I'd get a doctorate in film studies. I'd have a bachelor's degree for every science I like. I'd try to learn at least 5 languages with varying results. I would learn something "useful" like coding and then follow it up with a ""useless"" degree like art history. I'd be the world record speed run holder for getting every degree possible.
But I can't afford college without going into massive debt, so instead I spent the last 5 years trying to figure out what I am passionate enough about to consider going into debt over, because unfortunately being passionate about everything is extremely expensive to pursue.
#simon says#i love learning so much and I hate the USA's college debt system#once they make that shit free I will be unstoppable#this topic sprung up because I had the idea that im very academic and annoyingly analytical that I might as well get a degree in it#because without a degree you just seem like an autistic asshole#but with a degree? then you look like a CREDIBLE autistic asshole#don't worry I will still learn but I still want that funky piece of paper to tell everyone I learnt it#also there's some things that are VERY difficult to learn#like I would love to persue this topic further but unfortunately I would need help with that#also before you say 'try taking [blank] classes instead! it's less expensive than a degree!' im broke#my only learning resource is the library sorry about that#also this is not the post to give me unwarranted financial advice#finances are one of the topics I DO NOT care about and I WILL NOT listen to a word you say
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Solar Return chart notes ii
**not my images**
ᯓ★ chart ruler of SR in 3rd house may mean you will have a new (younger) sibling (or cousin).
ᯓ★ pluto in 1st house of SR is the year that i had a transformative overall year. I wouldn't call it an identity crisis but i was questioning who or what i am or what i need to be doing.
ᯓ★ IC ruler in 4th house in SR can make you more family oriented. i had this one year and i had a closer relationship with my household family.
ᯓ★ another indication of studying the occult is having vertex in the 8th house. i had mines in Gemini (mind, studying, writing).
ᯓ★ venus in 4th house in SR can mean you loving your culture and your traditions more.
ᯓ★ the ruler of 5th house in 6th house can be an indication of starting to move your body for fun. i had my ruler of 5th house (hobbies) in the 6th house (physical body, routine) and it was in Aries (fast moving, fast pace). i started dancing more that year as a hobby and for fun.
ᯓ★ 11th house SR in cancer can make your friendships very confusing. For example i had my 11th house in cancer and moon (ruler) in 3rd house (of communication, talking), there was lack of communication which led to confusion.
ᯓ★ vertex in the 8th house of SR can mean earning money/ getting money from other people. i had this in gemini (rules social media, and communication) in 8th house.
ᯓ★ when i had mars (action, messages) in the 9th house (higher learning, education) i had multiple of university offers. Mars was trine Neptune and the courses were art related. very interestinggg.
ᯓ★ ruler of 11th house square mars can bring conflict to your friendship circle.
ᯓ★ the ruler of 2nd house in Aquarius can make your senses change. what i mean by this is that your taste may change or say your sense of smell can become weaker or sharper etc etc.
ᯓ★ in your SR, when the 4th house ruler trines Venus, you may create a beautiful bond with your family members. This can also enhance your love for your heritage.
ᯓ★ Jupiter trine asteroid Aphrodite (1388) can influence self care. i had jupiter in Aries and i was very focused on the head/face and taking care of these areas such as my skin and my oral health. The asteroid was in the 2nd house which rules the face and teeth in medical astrology. very cool.
ᯓ★ when i had moon sextile uranus in my SR i was very chronically online. i had comfort in that area and would almost allow what i saw on the internet control my mood.
ᯓ★ venus trine saturn in your SR can make you become stricter on your appearance. this may cause you to be very aware of how you look and be quite strict about it.
ᯓ★ SR sun in 7th house, expect to be more confident. i had this trine pluto and went out of my comfort zone lots of times even if i felt a bit anxious.
ᯓ★ Mars in cancer in your SR can make you bicker with family members tremendously. i had this placement in a taurus degree (2,14,26) and there were topics related to finances being discussed quite often (mostly the females).
ᯓ★ ketu in 1st house of SR can make you more isolated. not always a bad thing this can just mean that you don't crave spending time with other people and enjoy your own company.
thanks for reading, have a nice day!🤍
#solar return#solar return chart#astrology#asteroid astrology#astrology community#astrology degrees#astrology observations#kpop astrology#vedic astrology#sidereal astrology#astro notes#astro community#astro observations#astro placements#vedic astro notes#astrology synastry#celebrity astrology
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been obsessed with coryo after watching tbosas 😭 please write more of bestfriend!coryo <3
so so adorable 💋 i love u tehe
me gasping like in that tiktok sound: oh my goodness i love this question!!!
in all seriousness i have so many more thoughts on this dynamic omg
----
thinking about bestfriend!coryo who knows your parents love him, and, more importantly, he knows how to use that to his advantage.
it's no accident, he's put in meticulous effort in making sure that they not only approve of the friendship, but that he's their favorite friend of yours. when it comes to a family as prominent and wealthy as yours, parental approval goes a long way, especially with how regularly your parents leave town for business.
your father's admiration isn't an easy thing to win, but coriolanus is no stranger to uphill battles, and you're worth it. with the way that you look at him, how could you not be?
so he puts in the work: being the perfect student in classes taught by known friends of your father, wearing his best clothing and practicing old capitol etiquette his grandma'am was more than happy to review with him before family dinners that you invited him to, and making sure to keep proper distance between the two of you whenever your parents are around, no matter how difficult it is for him to remember to not hold your hand.
the hardest part is the fact that most of your father's intimidation comes from the fact that he's the exact kind of man coryo wants to be. powerful, respected, and in a position to never worry about finances or status. but he keeps at it, taking more care than usual to make sure that the signs of poverty are never visible in front of your parents.
even if that means purposefully leaving leftovers of the best food he's eaten in years on his plate so that no one will think he's starving. even if you give him a look that only he can feel the strangeness of because even though you've never spoken of his financial status, you can tell that he's not as well off as everyone thinks. that's the only thing about you that digs beneath his skin--you can always tell.
he's unsure if his efforts are working because of your father's constantly stoic disposition even though you assure him that that's your father when he's relaxed.
but then one day, he's over on your father's last night at home before returning to the districts to oversee some business, and your father asks to speak with him in private. you're instantly snapping your head up from your textbook, wanting to make sure that your father won't say anything embarrassing or rude.
he's scared off other friends in the past and even though it hurts, you never fight back too much because your father isn't an easy man to talk back to. but this is where you draw the line. you're not going to lose your coryo.
coryo feels something in his stomach knot, especially at that bewildered look behind your eye, but he's not about to be openly intimidated, so he assures you that he's fine. when you push, asking what topic could possibly involve just coryo and him and be that private, your father says that it's just business from man to man.
coryo has to force down a smile because he knows he'll be hearing no end of it from you as soon as the two of you are alone together. then he starts to think that this might be it. maybe your father has found out about his true financial status or dean highbottom has finally gotten to him and he's about to be banned from seeing you.
he forces down his anxiety and follows your father into the hall. your father's quick to the point, letting him know that he's leaving for another long stretch of time and that your mother's social and professional engagements mean that you'll be alone often. he closes the statement by asking coriolanus to look after you until he returns.
the realization that coriolanus has made it hits him at the same time as the relief and for a second all he can do is stare. then his senses return to him and he's swearing to your father that he'll take such good care of you, your father will have nothing to worry about. then your father's clasping his shoulder and offering him a gruff but oddly genuine thank you, son before telling him to get back to your room before you get paranoid.
it's an odd way to end the moment, but coryo's so busy trying to convince himself to not mentally plan out your wedding (because let's be honest, that's a level of trust from someone like your father might as well be a pre-engagement) that he doesn't think of it.
when he gets back to your room, you ask as casually as you can manage what your father wanted. after telling you that your father just wants to make sure that you're looked after while he's away, coryo expects you to be happy. but instead of reacting positively, you just sort of nod and mumble something polite before attempting to go back to studying.
something in his chest hardens. he's your best friend, who you spend as much time as socially acceptable with, and you two are being given the perfect excuse to be around each other more and you're not happy.
he immediately pushes and you reluctantly tell him that this has to mean that he's in with your father. another thing that coryo thinks you should be thrilled about. the more your father approves, the closer the two of you can be. he's accusing you of being sick of him, of trying to get rid of him, of no longer wanting to be best friends with him.
that has you scrambling to defend yourself. there's little you consider more important than your friendship with him. it's the only bond you fully trust.
so you tell him that your real concern is that your father never gets along with your friends that way, and that the only similar reference point you have is the way he talks to people like him.
you then tell him that the people in your father's social circle aren't like coryo. at the very least, not your coryo, who's never harsh with you and would rather spend parties sitting with you than sharing cruel opinions to impress other men.
all coriolanus hears is that you don't see him the way you see the actually important men. the hurt behind his eyes has you moving to stand and reaching for him. he lets you take his hand but doesn't react, so you explain it as transparently as possible. people that your father likes are mean, and you don't want to lose him to that.
there's something about the way you say it, all round eyes and genuine worry. it reminds him too much of tigris, of the newfound hint of tension in their relationship that's become more prevalent. she's constantly reminding him of what his father's success turned him into.
coryo's pulling you into a hug, whispering promises that you could never lose him. you're hugging him back tightly, hand smoothing circles against his back.
he realizes he means what he's saying. he can achieve the prominence he wants without alienating you. there's a way to be stern with the world and just coryo to you. and even if his edges become a little sharper, he'll keep that away from you and you'll understand.
you may criticize some of your father's views and actions, but you do love him. coryo sees it in the way that you constantly strive for his approval, he sees it in the way your face lights up when he's home. if you can love your father through your disagreements, you can love him as well. he'll make sure of it.
feeling better, he starts semi-playfully chiding you for even thinking that anything could take you away from him. that you should know better than to not see this as yet another thing he's doing for you, for your friendship.
you don't want to admit it, but you're feeling a little bad for reacting like that. after all, coryo was so excited to tell you and you know your father's capable of scaring people out of your life. at least this means that nothing's going to get in between the two of you.
coryo recognizes your slight pout and the apologetic line between your eyebrows. the two of you so rarely argue that even a hint of conflict has you willing to do anything to make things feel normal again.
so he lets himself play into his hurt. you're quick to pick up on it, holding onto him a little tighter. the two of you stay like that for awhile until you break the silence, saying that you're happy that he has an excuse to be around more.
eventually the two of you end up sitting on your bed, both of you silently agreeing that you've done enough homework. instead you focus on reassuring him, holding his hand between both of yours, pressing the occasional chaste kiss against his knuckles and resting your head against his shoulder until he has to go home.
after your father leaves, coryo takes his promise to look after you seriously. he's already in the habit of walking you home after school every day, but he start staying over after every day. the lack of authority figures around makes it a little easier to accept the after school snacks your maid always prepares and sometimes he even lets you send some home with him.
his grandma'am's over the moon when he starts accepting invitations to school social events that he honestly considers painful because he's escorting you. she's convinced that the two of you are getting married and with your family's status and the snow name, there's no door the two of you won't be able to unlock. even though you're still just friends, he rarely reminds her. it's for her own sake, he tells himself, it makes her happy.
the promise to your father also makes him bolder. he feels more assured, more justified in his disapproval of those that show a little too much interest in you.
you still don't notice the way his jaw tightens when some unaware guy gets too close, or think anything of the way that it almost always leads to him grabbing your hand.
he also stays over more, sometimes leaving for a few hours in the late afternoons so your maid doesn't think anything's going on. your family's estate is so large it's easy enough to get him in and out through a secondary exit.
the two of you fall into such a good routine that when your parents do get back, they start trusting coryo even more. your father asks if he can take you to certain social events that normally you wouldn't be allowed to attend and your strict weekday curfew becomes more of a suggestion when he's around.
#coriolanus snow x reader#coryo x reader#corolanus x reader#the ballad of songbirds and snakes#the ballad of songbirds and snakes x reader#this one is longer than i thought it'd be omg#bestfriend!coryo#the hunger games#the hunger games x reader
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So your parents suck?
Okay, so you’re starting from scratch, you can’t cook, you don’t know what career you’re interested in, you lack skills that your parents should have taught you, and your finances aren’t in order. Worst of all, you don’t know where to begin 👀. Well, I got a list of books for you.
( most of the books listed have visuals)
These are 10 must-have books that’ll help you maneuver through life!
1. “The Self Care prescription” by Robyn L. Gobin, Ph.D ⭐️ MUST HAVE ⭐️ (Amazon)
Self-care is important. If you don’t know where to start this book was made for you. It will clear up any confusion you may have about self-care, and how it looks. It also addresses mental health and teaches you skills on how to deal with real-life issues. The author also has a journal you can purchase alongside this book. (Amazon link)
2. “Infographic guide to Personal Finance” by Elisabeth Lariviere and Michele Cavan, CPA (Amazon)
All the financial advice you need in one book. It has a range of topics from debt to investing, buying property, and budgeting. This book is easy to understand and has lovely graphics.
3. “How to be a person” by Catherine Newman (Amazon)
All the skills you need to be a functioning human being are in this book. I recommend this book for people who didn’t have a lot of guidance growing up. “How to be a person” will fill you in on the basics. It tells you how to tip people, do laundry, send mail, and make your bed. It also has some easy recipes and a lot more. It’s a great starter book for those who genuinely don’t know where to begin!
4. “Atomic Habits” by James Clear (Amazon)
If you are looking to break a habit or start a new one this book is a bestseller and highly recommended. It can also be helpful for those who struggle with motivation, making changes, etc. Before reading this book, I had difficulty getting back on track after a break. Since reading Atomic Habits, I've been able to stay consistent with my goals and overcome moments of doubt. Once you’ve read Atomic Habits I would suggest purchasing @2pretty 12-month dream girl guide. It can help you keep track of the habits you want to master and the steps you plan on taking to accomplish your goal. It’s also a cute journal 🥰.
5. “Budgeting 101” by Michele Cavan, CPA (Amazon)
A very detailed book explaining everything you need to know about budgeting, saving, and investing. It also has a couple of tips.
6. “Home EC for everyone” by Sharon & David Bowers (Amazon)
All the life skills you need are in this book. It covers cooking, laundry, sewing, and other domestic skills. Home EC has recipes, a list of supplies, and how-to’s on cleaning, setting tables &, etc. This book is amazing. It’s been my favorite purchase this year. It starts with the easy stuff like boiling water 😭 and cracking an egg, but it gets into other info like getting gum out of carpet, how to hem a skirt, reading laundry symbols, making beef stew, and brining meat, just to mention a few.
7. “Getting from college to career” by Lindsey Pollak (Amazon)
If you need advice on preparing for interviews, working on your resume, getting real-world experiences, and finding job opportunities. I couldn’t suggest a better book. It has other topics and is great for anyone who needs advice while they're looking for a job, but it is catered to college graduates.
8. “Adulting made easy” by Amanda Morin (Amazon)
Budgeting, insurance, getting a job, KEEPING a job, safe social media usage, living situations, and a few other life skills are all mentioned in “adulting made easy”. I love this book and started including it in my gift package for friends and family members going to college or moving out, it’s such a great resource.
9. “The driving book” by Karen Gravelle (Amazon)
This book is geared towards new drivers, but I believe it has some great information for everyone. It tells you what to keep in your car, how to take care of it, and how to drive in different areas. Such as the freeway, the countryside, etc.
10. “Careers the ultimate guide to planning your future” (Amazon)
This book has a range of careers, some requiring just trade school or associates, others needing a doctorate. With such a range, you’ll be sure to get an idea of what career you might be interested in. It also has a rank on the salary you’ll be making from each opportunity listed.
❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️
Now I am all for reading and gathering information but please be sure to put the tips you learn to use.
I’ll try to make a version of this that has online readings or links. I know some people don’t like books or don’t have space for books so if I find any articles I’ll make a post 🤍
♡ xoxo Mrs.Degree ❣️
p.s just cuz you didn’t learn these skills as a kid doesn’t mean your parents suck I just picked that as a header.
#mrs.degree resources#hypergamy#feminine black women#black women in luxury#high maintenance#college#spoiled girlfriend#black women#education#adulthood#adult adhd#2pretty#atomic habits#self care#self love#apartment
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{ MASTERPOST } Everything You Need to Know about Repairing Our Busted-Ass World
On poverty:
Starting from nothing
How To Start at Rock Bottom: Welfare Programs and the Social Safety Net
How to Save for Retirement When You Make Less Than $30,000 a Year
Ask the Bitches: “Is It Too Late to Get My Financial Shit Together?“
Understanding why people are poor
It’s More Expensive to Be Poor Than to Be Rich
Why Are Poor People Poor and Rich People Rich?
On Financial Discipline, Generational Poverty, and Marshmallows
Bitchtastic Book Review: Hand to Mouth by Linda Tirado
Is Gentrification Just Artisanal, Small-Batch Displacement of the Poor?
Coronavirus Reveals America’s Pre-existing Conditions, Part 1: Healthcare, Housing, and Labor Rights
Developing compassion for poor people
The Latte Factor, Poor Shaming, and Economic Compassion
Ask the Bitches: “How Do I Stop Myself from Judging Homeless People?“
The Subjectivity of Wealth, Or: Don’t Tell Me What’s Expensive
A Little Princess: Intersectional Feminist Masterpiece?
If You Can’t Afford to Tip 20%, You Can’t Afford to Dine Out
Correcting income inequality
1 Easy Way All Allies Can Help Close the Gender and Racial Pay Gap
One Reason Women Make Less Money? They’re Afraid of Being Raped and Killed.
Raising the Minimum Wage Would Make All Our Lives Better
Are Unions Good or Bad?
On intersectional social issues:
Reproductive rights
On Pulling Weeds and Fighting Back: How (and Why) to Protect Abortion Rights
How To Get an Abortion
Blood Money: Menstrual Products for Surviving Your Period While Poor
You Don’t Have to Have Kids
Gender equality
1 Easy Way All Allies Can Help Close the Gender and Racial Pay Gap
The Pink Tax, Or: How I Learned to Love Smelling Like “Bearglove”
Our Single Best Piece of Advice for Women (and Men) on International Women’s Day
Bitchtastic Book Review: The Feminist Financial Handbook by Brynne Conroy
Sexual Harassment: How to Identify and Fight It in the Workplace
Queer issues
Queer Finance 101: Ten Ways That Sexual and Gender Identity Affect Finances
Leaving Home before 18: A Practical Guide for Cast-Offs, Runaways, and Everybody in Between
Racial justice
The Financial Advantages of Being White
Woke at Work: How to Inject Your Values into Your Boring, Lame-Ass Job
The New Jim Crow, by Michelle Alexander: A Bitchtastic Book Review
Something Is Wrong in Personal Finance. Here’s How To Make It More Inclusive.
The Biggest Threat to Black Wealth Is White Terrorism
Coronavirus Reveals America’s Pre-existing Conditions, Part 2: Racial and Gender Inequality
10 Rad Black Money Experts to Follow Right the Hell Now
Youth issues
What We Talk About When We Talk About Student Loans
The Ugly Truth About Unpaid Internships
Ask the Bitches: “I Just Turned 18 and My Parents Are Kicking Me Out. How Do I Brace Myself?”
Identifying and combatting abuse
When Money is the Weapon: Understanding Intimate Partner Financial Abuse
Are You Working on the Next Fyre Festival?: Identifying a Toxic Workplace
Ask the Bitches: “How Do I Say ‘No’ When a Loved One Asks for Money… Again?”
Ask the Bitches: I Was Guilted Into Caring for a Sick, Abusive Parent. Now What?
On mental health:
Understanding mental health issues
How Mental Health Affects Your Finances
Stop Recommending Therapy Like It’s a Magic Bean That’ll Grow Me a Beanstalk to Neurotypicaltown
Bitchtastic Book Review: Kurt Vonnegut’s Galapagos and Your Big Brain
Ask the Bitches: “How Do I Protect My Own Mental Health While Still Helping Others?”
Coping with mental health issues
{ MASTERPOST } Everything You Need to Know about Self-Care
My 25 Secrets to Successfully Working from Home with ADHD
Our Master List of 100% Free Mental Health Self-Care Tactics
On saving the planet:
Changing the system
Don’t Boo, Vote: If You Don’t Vote, No One Can Hear You Scream
Ethical Consumption: How to Pollute the Planet and Exploit Labor Slightly Less
The Anti-Consumerist Gift Guide: I Have No Gift to Bring, Pa Rum Pa Pum Pum
Season 1, Episode 4: “Capitalism Is Working for Me. So How Could I Hate It?”
Coronavirus Reveals America’s Pre-existing Conditions, Part 1: Healthcare, Housing, and Labor Rights
Coronavirus Reveals America’s Pre-existing Conditions, Part 2: Racial and Gender Inequality
Shopping smarter
You Deserve Cheap Toilet Paper, You Beautiful Fucking Moon Goddess
You Are above Bottled Water, You Elegant Land Mermaid
Fast Fashion: Why It’s Fucking up the World and How To Avoid It
You Deserve Cheap, Fake Jewelry… Just Like Coco Chanel
6 Proven Tactics for Avoiding Emotional Impulse Spending
Join the Bitches on Patreon
#poverty#economics#income inequality#wealth inequality#capitalism#working class#labor rights#workers rights#frugal#personal finance#financial literacy#consumerism#environmentalism
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⋆.˚✮ Mental Glow Up Tips ✮˚.⋆
When we hear the words “glow up” - many of us automatically think about our appearance, not understanding that a glow up is internal and external. Too often we neglect our mental state and stay stagnant; repeating the same cycle our whole lives. It’s important to practice mindfulness and stay in the present moment so we are able to be fully aware of our thoughts / actions to reduce stress and increase mental clarity. Taking care of our mind is a large component to self-care, if not, the most important.
Below are a few exercises & knowledge ideas to practice.
Write down all the old habits the new you wouldn’t carry & write how you will replace them - what new / more self fulfilling habits will you now include into your daily life
Focus on reading one book a month. This can be about anything you wish. Reading will help you expand your vocabulary & literary skills , lower stress levels, improves your sleep if you read before bed, improves memory & can give you the confidence to speak with others about topics you might’ve stayed silent about prior to reading.
Stay up to date on global changes. You don’t have to know everything going on but its important to know at least 3 big events currently happening. When you go to gatherings and people are speaking on global events, you will have the courage and knowledge to also pitch in. Don’t be the one sitting in the corner clueless.
Aquire a mentor. It’s important to have a guide in your life, why not make it easier with someone likeminded and encouraging? You never know where this connection may lead, this will always open new doors for you. Don’t be afraid to ask questions & share ideas. A mentor is able to provide you unbiased advise from their previously acquired knowledge + hold you accountable.
Start learning a new skill that most people wouldn’t expect you to have. This allows you to be more interesting from some else’s pov. This doesn’t mean acquire a skill you normally wouldn’t care for just to be ‘cool’ - but rather, acquire a skill you’ve been wanting to achieve for a while that you probably haven’t told many people about. Pick a niche topic.
Listen to informational podcasts - this improves your overall listening skills and feeds you valuable information at the same time.
I know it’s talked about 24/7 but STOP procrastinating. That goal you have set a year from now? How can we now make that achievement in 6 months? Every day you should be working towards something. Too often we fill our days with things we believe are getting us somewhere (cooking, cleaning, running quick errands, etc;) when in reality those activities are simply getting you by - these are already set in stone chores you are going to do regardless. What is your goal? How can you break down your goals on paper to achieve things each week instead of each month?
Learn financial literacy - you should have control and understand your finances. When it comes to money, you should have confidence. This equips you with knowledge to make informed decisions.
I could write around 20 more tips but I will keep it at the basics. Don’t overstimulate yourself, reward yourself for achievements - you don’t have to be strict but don’t slack either xoxo.
#affirm#affirmations#void state#law of abundance#law of assumption#positive affirmations#self concept#desired reality#self concept affirmations#law of detachment#it girl#lifestyle#self development#self care#loa affirmations#loa blog#loa tumblr#law of manifestation#law of attraction#loa#aesthetic#girlblogging#studyspo#glow up#mental health#self improvement#higher self#manifestation#manifest#manifesting
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Valeria x Chaotic wife pt.5
(Hi, I just wanted to say thank you for all of the likes and attention people give this series! It means a lot because, honestly, I'm new to Tumblr, and I started writing (publicly) for a hobby. Thank you, and don't worry, I have no plans to end this anytime soon. Enjoy!)
Part One/ Part Two/ Part Three/ Part Four/ Part Five
Part Six/ Part Seven/
♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤
R/N: I'm tired.
Valeria: I told you to go to bed last night. You don't NEED to sit on your phone for an hour or more before you go to sleep.
R/N: ...I do it's a part of my process to fall asleep.
Valeria: At least it's not bluey anymore.
R/N before you say it, it's not a kid show. It tackles serious topics.
Valeria: for kids sure.
R/N: You watched it too!
Valeria: And if you ever tell anyone that I will deny it, then never let you leave again.
♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤
Valeria: Do you really need another one? You have like a hundred and I'm pretty sure I've seen that exact one.
R/N holding another squishmallow: This one is different it has a hat!
♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤
Valeria: Did you finish the last five books you bought?
R/N: Sort of...
Valeria: READ THE BOOKS YOU BUY BEFORE YOU GET MORE.
♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤
Valeria: Let's go to- what are you doing?
R/N: What?
Valeria: It is almost midnight and you are drinking an energy drink?!
R/N: They taste good..
Valeria: You are either going to kill yourself or me way younger than I want either of us to die.
R/N: ...Want one?
Valeria: NO I DONT WANT ONE!
♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤
Valeria's men: MA'AM YOUR WIFE SHES STUCK ON THE ROOF
Valeria: I left her with your for 5 minutes! How in god's name did she scale the building and get stuck on the roof IN FIVE MINUTES?!
Valeria's men: We don't know we turned our back for like a second..
Valeria: (cursing under her breath in Spanish as she gets up from her desk to go help you down from the roof)
♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤
Valeria: With the amount of trouble and situations you get yourself in.. I'm genuinely surprised you're alive.
R/N: Oh, me too, I think it's like a super power.
Valeria: I wouldn't call it a superpower, but alright.
♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤
Valeria: Why is there a ton of games downloaded on my computer?
R/N: ...
Valeria: What is wizard 101??
R/N: A game where your a wizard.. and you have to go to different towns and do different things..
Valeria: ...tell me.. do you do these things with the intent to annoy me? Or just do it and think 'no, Valeria won't care if I delete files to download A WIZARD GAME'
R/N: I'll take avoiding this question for 500.
♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤
R/N helping Valeria with paperwork: GOD THIS IS BORING AND DRY. Can't their be some hot woman or man in this?
Valeria: It's finance paperwork not one of your dark kink romance books.. which is starting to make me wonder because some are about Mafia or Cartel leaders...
R/N: Intresesting because (R/N sprints away)
♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤
Valeria: I'm trying to work.
R/N: and I'm trying to annoy you while you work to get you to stop working so we can do something.
Valeria: ...
R/N: Anyways as I was saying, then Edward says 'this is the skin of a killer bella' and honestly it's kinda fun-
Valeria: ALRIGHT WE WILL GO GET SOMETHING TO EAT.
♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤
Valeria: Why are my men saying your doing something stupid?
R/N: That's incredibly rude of them, I'm not doing anything.
Valeria: Then unlock the door and let me in.
R/N: We both know I can't do that.
Valeria: and why's that?
R/N: I tried to see if I could do this trick where you get your handcuffed arms from behind you to infront of you..
Valeria: You handcuffed your arms behind your back again?!
R/N: ...help.
♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤
#valeria mw2#valeria garza x reader#valeria cod#valeria x reader#valeria garza#mw2 valeria x reader#valeria garza cod#valeria garza x fem!reader#valeria garza x you
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WHAT IF NEUVILLETTE WAS YOUR SUGAR DADDY
(This may be a bit ooc but hear me out)
Like let's say you came from a poor family but you wanted to go to a prestigious school in Fontaine but no matter how many jobs you took or how many hours you spent, you still could not afford the tuition. As the only daughter and the only child, you had to think of something fast. While randomly walking the streets of Fontaine, Monsieur Neuvillette hears your pleas. He proposes to be your "sponsor" or as you yourself call it a...sugar daddy. Of course, this alliance stays a secret between the both of you. The people of Fontaine are noisy after all.....
akdhsgsjsjshsgsh 🙈 i can’t this is so adorable <33
neuvillette definitely sounds like someone who’d do that. as someone who seldom goes out; there are a few cafes he visits from time to time & has always seen you work your ass off. why wouldn’t he help you one day when he caught you sighing, upset & just terribly disarrayed at the outputs of your efforts. you needed money & you needed to study well. <3 neuv will gently approach you, “excuse me, miss…” he would take this topic out with an extremely formal manner and you’d feel as if you’re on cloud 9 because of it. “i urge you not to let this spread out, people in fontaine are…”
“yes, i’ll not.”
over the course of time when neuvillette sees you excel in what you’re doing, and you meet up with him for lunches and stuff. trying your best to compensate over his finances by at least — looking pretty.
you’d often travel to meet the chief justice after that one incident where he helped you and took care of you when you caught a fever. Your rabid pantings and your high temperature bothered him so much. It was a sight to behold to see the chief justice of fontaine so enamored by you; enough to take a break from his work and tend to his sugar baby. The meetings are mostly around his home or yours since you both can’t let the people of fontaine find out about this.
things eventually turn into a full blown reward system wherein is his sugar baby’s been good, neuvillette is going to spoil you oh so well !! He’s going to ensure you have everything, things taking a turn from the education to the spoiling point of view.
Sexual thingys are just favors you want instead of him lmfaosjshsjsh i mean have you looked at him? @-@ but he’d be more than happy to indulge with you xoxoxo
#neuvillette#neuvillette x reader#neuvillette fluff#neuvillette imagines#neuvillette hcs#genshin impact#genshin x reader#genshin fluff#genshin hcs#genshin x you
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I have a suggestion about ppl "feeling guilty" about wanting to experience rich or famous lifestyles through the lens of ND, AV, and "That"
Do it. Get the money. Be rich. get that sp.
Go into this knowing that it doesn't matter what you want...there is no judgement. There is no good or bad. Being rich and famous is the same as a simple monk life. You can do both in fact.
Im Bitcoin anon. I have like 40 bitcoin now by knowing where the market would go and trading it accordingly. I came into this "info-nothingness" with not much money. I have money now...but Idgaf about money any longer. It's fine to dream up money...but the fact that you're trying so hard to get it is keeping you from it.
Also, I find finance and money very interesting in my dream. I like these topics, and I dont feel guilty about it. Stop comparing your dream to a dream character of your making. Maybe if you didnt feel so guilty about it more "that" or omnipotent or w/e blogs would talk about their dream money....youre the one creating all this guilty rhetoric. Who cares if "i am that iam" "illuminated mystic" "infiniteko" dont care about money and like simple? Who says money isn't simple? It is simple!!!! You are creating the price of everything lol. I know so first hand. I am literally still trading Bitcoin and knowing where the price is gonna go...it's not money thats the issues...it's you seeking justification and trying so hard. Just get money.
Exactly! There's no one telling you to not "accomplish" your dream life, there's people telling you that there is nothing to accomplish in the first place. You are already free, do what you want and dream the amounts of dreams it fits you the best.
I just believe that people shouldn't get mad about blogs not responding well to "i want to manifest... " questions or answering sarcasticly because they had said multiple times that the information isn't focused on that or had already told them what to do yet they still complain.
Thanks for sharing this bitcoin anon! i honestly get headaches only reading the word bitcoin, but you seem quite passionate about it haha.
Hope you have a great day! 🫶
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✮ what do people think you’re hiding? ✮
pile one, two, or three?
˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚ ❀ pile one
hey, pile one! so, right off the bat; people think you're keeping your achievements and your progress on the low. you may try to hide yourself from the public eye (getting off of social media, not attending social events, ordering food/groceries instead of going out.) people think that there's a lot going on for you behind the scenes. this may cause some to believe that you're protecting yourself from something, or you're "locking yourself away." they think you do this because you believe people have negative thoughts towards you and what you're doing. remember, this is what other people think; doesn't mean it's true. if you're going through changes in life, such as breakups/new connections, new jobs, new opportunities, moving elsewhere/traveling, people think you're hiding this as well. people just assume that you're keeping all the good details to yourself for protection. you could also be going through internal changes, or changes in your appearance that others think you're hiding. people also think you're keeping your finances a secret, maybe they think you're doing this because money is scarce for you right now, so you need to conserve what all you got. even if money isn't tight for you, it's still a good thing to keep info about your money to yourself.
˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚ ❀ pile two
greetings, pile two! the first thing i'm seeing is that people think you're hiding a relationship or love you have for someone/something. there may be something you really care about (whether that be a person, topic, musician, book, etc) and you don't express how much you truly love it/them. people may also think you're hiding your creativity. if you draw, paint, write, sing, make music, or anything else that can be considered creative, people wish that you would show it! you may have shown someone your work in a private setting and they thought it was extremely good, pile two! if you do show off your work publicly, some may think you're hiding the process it took for you to get that good. they may even think you're "gatekeeping" your techniques, lol. people also think you're hiding your determination and your success! you may resonate with pile one. they may think you're hiding all of this because of lack of planning, or just because it's something you do for yourself, and not for the consumption of others. some may think you're hiding because you're scared of what may come if you do show off your work.
˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚ ❀ pile three
how are you, pile three? all i have to say right now is "wow." all of these piles have something to do with hiding success. i guess people think all of you guys are successful and keeping it to yourselves, lol. anywho, for you, pile three, people may think you're hiding the fact that you successfully provide for yourself and/or your family. people also believe that you have new ideas and breakthroughs that you're keeping on the down low at the moment. you may have recently been through something that caused you to have to fend for yourself and your family, and maybe you're keeping that secret as well. people think that you are exploring the creative and emotional depths within you, and that you're doing this alone or with a select few people you trust and love. they truly believe that you're keeping all the positivity and warmth in your life to yourself. nosy people want to know how you're doing but you don't give them any insight, or so they think. some may even think you're dating and not letting anyone know who the person is, or any other details about it. if not, then you have romantic suitors that you're not saying much about.
thank you for reading and interacting! <3
masterlist ⭑ personal readings ⭑ patreon
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WIBTA for not getting my coworkers holiday gifts?
Sorry in advance for the long ask, I have adhd so I'm not always great at figuring out what's relevant to the topic lmao. I (29M) have been working at my current workplace since I graduated college (so ~7 years). For the first few years I worked pretty much alone. I have a close working relationship with my supervisors, and I have a lot of interns filter through, but I was the only person at my 'level' of work, if that makes sense. I would write cards for my supervisors, and with my interns I would do something like bake cookies for everyone, or take them all out for dinner (to clarify I always have at minimum 3-4 interns, I wasn't just taking someone I was in charge of out for a one on one dinner lmao).
Last year, four more people were hired who work in the same position/level as me (early 20s-mid 30s, all F). I get along with them alright as coworkers, but they are all much closer with each other than I am with them. They didn't know eachother before starting here, but I make a lot of effort keeping distance between my work and personal life, vs they have all become friends outside of work. I also have enough issues with them that I wouldn't want to be friends with them outside of work (very condensed version is that I am openly aroace and they are Weird about it). I am firm about keeping boundaries/distance though and that makes it easier to deal with them.
Again, we work together really well when we're actually talking about work-- it's just the non-work stuff that I don't really vibe with. Also, their level of friendship is very normal in our workplace/field, since we are in a very very rural area where the tiny little town we're in is almost entirely centered around the one industry/company that we're at. The fact that I'm not friends outside of work with my coworkers gives me a reputation for being weird/cold (but I don't care if I seem weird as long as it means I can keep some distance).
Last year, we all talked about Xmas gifts, and decided that we wouldn't get each other anything, but rather just pitch in for some wine and fancy pastries for a mini office party. It was nice, except then right before Christmas I found a gift on my desk from one of them (like, a 50$ gift, which is quite expensive considering how much we make). I asked her about it, saying I appreciated it but didn't have anything since we agreed not to get eachother gifts. She said something like she didn't expect anything, just wanted to get me something. I thanked her and but was uncomfortable enough that I ended up giving the thing to a friend of mine (who knew it was a re-gift and was happy to have it lol). I didn't plan to get anything, except then I found out that the other three had all consequently gotten eachother and me gifts as a result of her. I talked to the one coworker I get along best with, and she agreed with me that it would now be rude to not give anything in return, so I just got everyone relatively impersonal gifts (books).
However, finances are tight this year for me (coworkers don't know that) due to some medical bills. We are doing an office cookie exchange, and again agreed not to get each other gifts, but one of them (same one who started this last year) hinted that she had 'a little something' for each of us anyways, but no need to reciprocate.
If it's relevant, we are in the US, all white, and all varying degrees of atheist/agnostic/ex-christian.
No idea if this will even get out of the queue before Xmas lol but: WIBTA if i stuck to our agreement to not get my coworkers Christmas gifts, even if they get me gifts anyways?
What are these acronyms?
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Kakuzu Platonic Relationship Headcanons
Tags: No Reader Pronouns
𓆃 Uh... friends is a strong word, isn't it?
𓆃 Because Kakuzu doesn't have friends, and he likes it that way! So the best you're going to get is "regular interaction" or "work proximity associates".
𓆃 If you're someone that Kakuzu interacts with as he works, such as in the bounty business, you would be a "regular interaction." If you operate together, you are a "work proximity associate" or "associate" for short.
𓆃 And the only true way to get on Kakuzu's good side and stay there is a dangerously simple mix of shared opinions and shared values.
𓆃 Like a typical old-timer, Kakuzu believes mostly conservative views on shinobi work and politics, and above all, a cynical view on money.
𓆃 Anything eccentric is a surefire way to lose his favor, and anything too "progressive" will surely lose his favor. Really, it's tempting to tell Kakuzu that market-bought paper bombs are more effective and practical than hand-written ones, but why would you?
𓆃 "It's a waste of precious coin," he'll grumble disapprovingly. "Buying jutsu is a disgrace."
𓆃 Granted, he doesn't lecture. He's too impatient for that, but pushing Kakuzu is akin to a jack-in-the-box. You never know what's the final straw before he'll explode.
𓆃 Your best bet is to prove yourself and lean into his grumpiness. Learning to read his subtle shifts in mood is a plus so that you can stop talking.
𓆃 Finance and politics are great conversation topics to stick to.
𓆃 If you're lucky, you might be able to hold a conversation with Kakuzu for a solid hour if you start talking the pros and cons of various types of investments.
𓆃 Or on politics. If you get the news before he does, you can inform him about whatever stupid thing is happening in the Hidden Grass. It allows you to gauge his reactions to agree with.
𓆃 Kakuzu is also secretly one for gossip. He'd never admit how much he absolutely loves hearing about how the daimyō's daughter from the Land of Wind just had a messy divorce.
𓆃 "Can't mean good things for their treaty with the Land of Earth," he'd say, crossing his arms with a shake of his head.
𓆃 "I heard in the last village that the prince was caught in quite the scandalous and compromising position" is enough to make Kakuzu eye you in quiet, subtle anticipation.
𓆃 Kakuzu is like the dad who says he doesn't care about your trash reality TV show but stands behind the couch to watch.
𓆃 But staying alive isn't just about making good conversation with Kakuzu.
𓆃 He's opportunistic and will not stand to keep company that he perceives as weak. While there are a multitude of petty things that could lead to a kill from Kakuzu, perceived weakness is at the top of them.
𓆃 Feeling like you're on a good track with Kakuzu is easy to lean into. Walking away from a few interactions feeling like you're getting closer is something that you do not want to get lost in.
𓆃 Because no matter how much you know about investments or scandals, if you make him angry enough, Kakuzu will not hesitate to end your life. And the tally he keeps is invisible.
Thank you to all who liked, reblogged, followed, and supported. Your support means so much and is greatly appreciated.
#kakuzu x reader#kakuzu#naruto kakuzu#naruto x reader#naruto#akatsuki x reader#akatsuki headcanons#akatsuki#kakuzu headcanons#kakuzu headcanon#naruto headcanon#naruto headcanons#x reader#x you#reader insert#naruto x y/n#naruto x you
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Some Personal Thoughts on Disability in Enstars
disclaimer: disability is a very broad term that covers many different experiences. i will be talking about physical disabilities since i feel most comfortable doing so/have experience with them. obviously that ignores a Huge part of what disability and chronical illness is and can be. but i think it is beyond my capabilities to talk about experiences i don't know much about.
alt caption: i think ritsu is a good character and im trying to explain to myself why
this is sort of a long post, sorry.
content warnings: i talk about ableism and touch on related topics such as dehumanization and objectification and such below. individual parts of this post have their own cw's.
Enstars Writing, Beloathed
to get this out of the way; it is bad sometimes.
this is discussed very often. it doesnt depend on the authors either, in my opinion, some writers will hit you with something really troublesome only to (seemingly accidentally) invent human emotion and compassion in a different story.
i dont want to repeat what others have said eloquently but there is a fair amount of imperialist worldviews, xenophobia, just racism really, transphobia, ableism, and copaganda to be found in enstars.
this isnt about x character being x thing, but about how it is very noticable when the author of a story holds these worldviews and they bleed into their stories.
so that is not the greatest foundation if youre looking for well-written disabilities. but i wouldnt be reading enstars if i didnt think it genuinely is really really good sometimes.
in my opinion, the way disabilities are portrayed is a mixed bag overall but there are some extremely worthwhile bits that touched me quite a lot.
What I personally understand as Well-Written Disability
the way disabled people suffer often goes unnoticed, and disabled people dont have a platform to talk about oppression.
a lot of life-changing issues can go unnoticed to those unnaffected by them, even if they are in broad daylight: underfounded or entirely lacking healthcare, the way many healthcare systems are marketbased and ethics are prone to suffer bc of this (even under 'welfare' capitalism), a lack of equal marriage, the inaccessibility of the most basic and necessary facilities, financing care and the dependency on family/loved ones (both a logistical and psychological problem), the huge stigma against disabled people, etc, etc, you get me....
we need to write about people who need care, to keep them in mind at all times. disabled people are not a minority in a mathematical sense but in a hierarchical sense. it is naive to think of them as "a substancial percentage" of populations. as we age, we inevitably all enter the stage of needing care at some point.
SO to an extend, i want to claim its a topic that affects every single person.
yet disabled people are rarely a central topic anywhere.
it is not enough to acknowledge them, we need to plan and think with them in mind. and Write with them in mind, i guess.
SO when i see fiction grapple the topic, i am usually really happy, even if the portrayal isnt ideal. (critical, maybe, but generally speaking very happy)
pointing out "badly" written disabled characters is obviously not as easy as calling someone out for uncritically saying "i think eugenics are a good idea!!!" through fiction. people with that sort of facist mindset exist of course but ableism does not end there.
if i were to single out things i see often: i think the most disappointing thing a story can do is to
- mention a disability without it ever having an impact on people in the story (-> the disability is basically nonexistent, has no impact or relevance, outside of a theoretical mention)
OR
- uncritically use a disabled character as a mere plot devise, without granting them the ability to speak (-> dehumanization, a lack of understanding that disabled people are, well, People. they do shit.)
and then of course there is fetishization, both in a literal sense and in an inspiration porn sense and the problem of turning disability into a caricature for jokes (either to other disabled people for their behaviour/body or to create a sense of satisfying superiority by laughing at them) but i feel like those problems explain themselves.
to apply these to very basic examples: i think often something like a robotic sci-fi prosthetic is not a good way to represent a disability because it fails to represent what people go through irl and provides a "magic fix" without repercussions. here is a really good post about it.
about the plot device issue... i think it is similar to what people often criticise as "manpain". a disabled person will never appear or speak, they are demoted to being the reason an able-bodied character acts a certain way, like a lifeless accessory. this doesnt always have to be bad, esp if its just a sideplot! but it can get tiring if the audience never gets to learn about other aspects of the unseen character in question and we are only introduced to their suffering.
all of this to talk about gacha idol boys. it is how it is. anyway, this is roughly my mental state when i tackle enstars.
disclaimer 2: i am really just a kogaP. this influences which characters i encounter when reading. there are tons of stories i just never looked at and there is SO MUCh lore i just dont know about. please lemme know if you have additions to stuff i say/understand a character better/have related story recommendations!
tl;dr the sakuma bit will be long.
disclaimer 3: i genuinely adore every single character mentioned below and am always excited to learn smth new about them. if i criticize writing, that has nothing to do with that character or their fans. it is about the writers.
the most obvious example. Eichi
(content warning for brief mentions of self harm and suicidal ideation)
everything eichi does, he does with the knowledge he will most likely die young. that is a truly dramatic setup.
but before i get back to that thought. it always felt to me like eichis illness(/es) lack a certain sense of conciseness? i do not think you need to put a name and diagnosis on it for it to be relatable and real to readers, tbh!! though to achieve believability, there needs to be a good amount of consistency.
what i can recall off the top of my head is the following:
he breaks down/straight up blacks out frequently due to weakness and dizzyness
measures were taken to secure his safety in those situations (the infamous Eichi-kun Gauge as seen in Element)
his stamina is seriously low
he coughs a lot
we saw him cough up blood (Daydream)
he relies on long hospital stays because his health needs to be monitored and/or supported this closely
he stays inside a lot (hinting towards problems with his immune system?)
being healthy enough to eat unhealthy food is a big deal to him, so there are dietary restrictions/it was necessary to precisely control what he eats
his grandfather, who died recently, is considered an outlier for how long he lived (so it IS hereditary)
which..... could be a lot of things...? or, more likely: a culmination of many things at once.
if you have headcanons on eichis health, please lemme know!
but in addition to eichis terminal illness, there is a second quality to him that seperates him from most disabled people: he is extremely wealthy. and his wealth is fundamentally important to stories. usually illness and poverty go hand in hand, since incame is tied to the ability to work, which worsens an already bad situation.
no matter how limited eichis actions are because of his body, the possibilties offered by his wealth make him a central figure in every overarching plot. in addition to this, his family is well aware of his consitution and he is a patriarchal leading figure to them, the head to their coporate hierachy.
eichi is free of the things that usually rid the chronically ill of their safety and power: society (he is an idol and popular) and money (he is the richest boy in japan).
if youd ask me, i think that while being chronically ill is of course physically taxing, the worse problem is the economic state it puts you in. eichi simply overcomes this? yes, he is terminally ill, his situation is terrifying. but he has an extraordinary amount of control while he lives. more than a poor yet able-bodied person may have.
his unique circumstances enable him to be incredibly active.
this is so fun to read about in my opinion. its a fascinating setup to me.
without casting any sort of moral judgement on his actions and the antagonistic role he plays; he is, excuse me for my phrasing here, a disabled power fantasy. (at least to me)
this is a double-edged sword to him. because of who he is as a person (ambitious, cunning, ruthless, diligent)
he lives in relative safety but his strong ambition and financial ability to fulfill his dreams tempt him to go past his limits. because his remaining lifetime is uncertain, the need to preserve the body he is given seems uneconomical (a mindset his upbringing and education as an heir to his family would have enforced imo) he is bound to break down sooner or later anyway.
i think he begins to see himself and his body as a tool to achieve his goals and neglects spending time on anything BUT working towards them.
so the moment he runs out of goals (like at the end of Element), his reason to "remain" becomes futile.
it really struck with me how he appears in Blackbird - emaciated, pathetic, purposefully neglected because he chose to be neglected and weak in an act of self harm bc denying medical attention (something that couldnt have happened otherwise)
wataru has to remind him that no one died and the obvious connection to make is that the eccentrics are physically unharmed and starting over, that they should not be a source of guilt to eichi.
but i think this is just as much about eichi himself. he might have expected to die since he left the hospital and overexhausted himself at school and as an idol. he didnt die though. it was a real possibility and seemed likely but he didnt.
the neglect and indirect self harm here point out, to me, that he saw the "role" he gave himself as fulfilled at that point and waited to die.
eichi stands over economic or social factors that could ostracize and dehumanize him but funnily enough he manages to do so himself by treating his body as a tool and his happiness as an option that got overshadowed by a need to succeed.
this vulnerability makes him, despite how vague the descriptions of his illness are and despite how unrelatable his wealth is, a very satisfying character imo. it is engaging to me. certain limits are removed for him but he created new ones, specifically because he did not see himself as something worth sustaining once he becomes useless.
imo, eichi applied the idea that a lifes worth can be measured in its ability to function in an industry to himself. and spiralled over it, entirely inverting his uncanny amount of bodily autonomy.
it is clear how the situation he is in worsens his mental health like that. and how his mental health in turn worsens his physical health. it is inseperable.
i cant really get into !! era eichi because i genuinely just dont... know enough. the fine tradition of having a weekly H-Day stands out, though. after all, eichi has new bigger ambitions and is, once again, inviting his own ruin through overexhaustion. so his friends (the new addition of having friends is essential) had to forcefully make him stop for at least one day a week. that is pretty big. i think.
this is true for many marginalized existences so it of course applies to disabled people: if neither your surroundings nor yourself permit you to feel human and therefore assign your person an inherent worth and lovability... sometimes you need a friend to do so!!! social circles are the best support structure for your health.
The Sakuma Family
(i will get into ritsu and rei seperately later on. there are just a few concepts i want to get out of the way that apply to both of them.)
so... to get a little theoretical;
the concept of "disability" relies on the concept of a "normative" human existence. "disability" is an otherness and can therefore easily be seen as a "monstrocity" in the eyes of ignorant people, something that instils fear. (there is a reason why a lot of horror exploits disabled bodies as a source of terror and uses mental hospitals as settings)
from an able-bodied point of view it seems "desirable" to be a "normative human", yet the disabled person knows that is not a possibility and knows their worth and place as a human in human spaces. at least ideally.
able-bodied people sometimes lack this understanding. there is nothing to be desired about an able body or fixed about a disabled body, beyond what medical care can do for ones quality of life.
if you have read operetta, this is all very familiar;
operetta, chapter 17
and, well, here we are. vampires.
a very basic truth about the sakuma family that i hate to see denied is that they are human. there is nothing supernatural about them. they are just disabled.
or, to turn the idea around, if one was to assign them vampiristic traits and such... is vampirism not a disability and should be taken seriously as such? if you consider the limits a vampire has while coordinating through their life, is that not... strangely just a disabled experience? (MINUS THE KILLING PEOPLE OBVIOUSLY but much modern fiction is sympathetic towards vampires instead and does not display them as violent)
anyway, to hear it from the horses mouth (the horse is rei):
operetta, chapter 19
the sakuma family is a curious case. their condition is hereditary though the severity varies from person to person. it comes up in many stories but for the most part i am thinking about operetta, resurrection sunday, and devils right now.
how did this all start? what made an entire family turn to live as vampires, with blood ceremonies and all that?
what bizarre kind of generational trauma is this?
(and, while it does not play a role as important as it did for eichi, they are rich. this is important to mention. many normal experiences just dont apply to them because wealth makes them immune.
...
how did the sakumas become this influential anyway.)
for an unspecified but long time, an entire family managed to mentally entirely seperate themselves from the rest of humanity because of their chronical illness. personally, i have no doubt this is the result of a world that othered them first.
whether the main motivator at play here is a defensiveness towards a society that cannot understand you or an internal need to turn hardships into an identity that can be carried with pride.
it takes a considerable amount of emotional strength and planning for the "hey we are human actually" declaration in operetta to occur.
they are, weirdly, what people mean when they talk about a "toxic anti-recovery mindset". (an expression i struggle with because this sort of rhetoric is often used to discriminate against disabled people who speak up for themselves or ask for accomodations. but that aside)
it is an amount of pride that leads to internal self destruction.
of course, as is the case with every single character i write about in this post, a lot of it has to do with aesthetics and being chuuni to sell gacha cards. so we know the reason behind the reason. but it makes for some bizarre in-universe implications.
but in any case, the fact that their identity as false vampires is something they have always carried, that modern society sees as "mystical and sexy" has a hilarious side effect: their disability becomes marketable under the guise of vampirism. it is hard to recover from that.
so again, we have a double-edged sword:
to present ones medical condition as a "persona" declares it as a performative act, something that is done to bring joy to an audience. personal detriment is not considered here, since it stops being a part of ones being and starts to become "work". the time and place of ones symptoms has to overlap with the time and place of ones performances. or people will hate you for your uncontrollable illness.
however, rei and ritsu are both also able to carry their condition with a sort of playfulness. it is almost something like the act of "reclaiming" when they purposefully choose to larp a little for fun.
usually, when a scene mentions their disability in the context of comic relief, they have control over the situation that unfolds and even initiate it and invite others to laugh alongside them. this can be a slippery slope to getting harrassed of course.... but i am rather baffled by the amount of dominance they have in social interactions. so it just reads as a healthy amount of dark humour to me.
this, and the consistent writing of their symptoms, and the ability to easily compare it to real existing illnesses, easly make them my favourite instance of written disabled people in the series.
their illness has an impact on their behaviour and it is detrimental! and they are both very human in the way they attempt to cope. there is a certain realism to it. idek.
many people seem to headcanon them with myalgic encephalomyelitis, which is a really good explanation, and i personally want to suggest narcolepsy.
the point being, there is room to accurately assign them a realistic relatable and understandable condition, even if nothing is ever named in canon. and of course they are mentioned to have an iron deficiency.
bear with this slightly "out there" theory for a moment: have you or a friend ever tried to get a compensation for your disadvantage at school or uni? it can be really hard to do, if it is possible at all, even if it is something very simple (more time, a slightly different enviroment, the ability to drink or sit, etc)
yumenosaki is a school for performance arts, mainly idols. bold statement: it might genuinely be easier to get/explain an accommondation for your "idol quirk" (something that would be actively fostered), than for your disability. not that yumenosaki is very strict or asks for a lot anyway, its just something that has been on my mind.
here is another funny thing i have been thinking about: both of them crave juice, soda, and fruit - sugary yet fresh stuff. i feel like this is not uncommon for people who suffer from excessive tiredness and fatigue, the body subconsciously wishes for some sugar intake to "wake up".
Inventing a Guy to Cope. Rei
funny title aside... he... did that... ? rei is a curious example of how different mostly unrelated traumas can overlap.
he had no childhood, thanks to his family that considered him "mature" at a very young age and his early status as a child star. and his bad health is a miserable addition to this.
it is quite scary to image how pressured to do right he felt growing up and how that resulted in the fragmented distanced way he views himself; reinventable, and ultimately unknowable. (to others AND himself)
despite his bad health he has always been working and performing "well". he was praised for his remarkable talents but rarely had the chance to stop and patch himself up. whether this was a result of a pushy enviroment or his personality as a people pleaser who cannot show weakness and imperfection is hard to tell. maybe both.
the state he is in in Crossroad is fascinating to me. he all but directly lists the criteria of depression to keito when he attempts to explain his sorrows. he is restless, rowdy, mentions later on that he enrolled in yumenosaki against his familys wishes. he is very much searching for joy and his own identity in the middle of a health emergency.
this has to do with the way he was raised, only knowing how to exist for and serve others, how he was made to sell a made-up version of himself, but i also believe it has to do with the fact he has started to exclude himself from his familys traditions and values.
he started to cast away the uncertain "monstrosity" existence of his family (as well as the false idolhood others assigned him) and instead embraces humanity as a chronically ill person.
crossroad, i forgor which chapters
this of course marks a starting point of change that later results in him making up the wagahai pronouns persona - something he specifically created with the intention of looking vulnerable and weak. because he yearned to do less, to recover from years of exhaustion.
in a way, i want to say both, the ore pronouns persona and the wagahai pronouns persona, are attempts to cope with expectations he cannot handle physically or mentally. one relies on masking, on appearing stronger than he actually is and therefore invulnerable, and the other relies on exaggerating his weakness, in an attempt to finally let others recognize it.
i think as a disabled person, both are performances one has to learn in order to "function" in everyday life, while remaining safe from serious harm (doing badly at ones job or classes, angering others that hold power over your life). since ones circumstances are often hard to grasp for someone who does not share the same illness, there is no choice but to simplify and exaggerate until symptoms become tangible concepts or to just brave through it, at the cost of ones health and future time.
rei in particular, for better or for worse, is incredibly capable when he needs to be and unfortunately that means others will often not take his health seriously because they saw him function just fine the other day.
this is a general problem but an obvious offender in that regard is koga, who comments on reis fatigue constantly and loves to create a bit of a high expectations toxic work enviroment (and, to be fair, rei terrorizes him too. kogas hostility towards rei is sometimes ableist but not really rooted in ableism. after all koga is highly aware how performative the wagahai persona can be and is a huge motivational and inspirational factor in reis life. its a whole complex)
!! era holds some positive changes. his mental need to please other people remains a persistent source of trouble for him (and others) but he seems to really let his body recover and lives a more nocturnal life.
both kuro and kaoru mention that he looks more healthy (in succession match???? i think??) since he finally stopped enforcing a normal day/night cycle on his body just to comply with social norms. you can indeed be very human even if you break human-made rules.
(additional comment: "becoming human" is of course a theme for each of the eccentrics and not uniquely tied to disability, it very much has to do with the objectification one goes through as a public figure. but this is a post about disability and it really fits in well. so here we go)
Literally Just a Realistic Teenager. Ritsu
ritsu, while not really being among my favourite characters, is my favourite instance of a disabled character in enstars. partly because of his writing and partly because my personal experiences overlap with his so much it sometimes is painful - but always extremely satisfying. just had to get that out.
ritsu is perhaps the most visibly ill. he blacks out and sleeps where he stands, everywhere, without control and often requires other peoples (well, mostly maos) assistance in order to remain safe when this happens.
he also repeated a year of school, specifically because of his disability.
he is painfully aware of this. that he looks ill, that he behaves ill, that he is an underachiever compared to others of the same age, even to people younger than him.
ritsu developed unique behaviours to deal with this: he is very dependent and clingy and often asks others to do things for him, unapologetically. that does not mean asking for help doesnt hurt his pride, just that it is the most viable strategy for everyday survival that he ended up with.
other than that, he clings more to the vampire identity than rei does. either to defy his older brother or, and this is important imo, because it is the one safety net he has to fall back on that makes him feel "normal" and like he is a regular being. albeit not human. no matter how much others might blame him for his shortcomings or how much he is a failure in the eyes of society, he is very regular for a "vampire".
under the logic developed by his family, he is just a child, and the world at large is to blame. it is an easier truth to accept than facing systematic injustice and prejudice in a human world.
the stories i mentioned in another part above aside, i really love what ensemble band does for him; ritsu gets extremely irritated with mao in the prologue, seemingly out of nowhere.
his character is allowed to express this sort of anger and to take it out on others, even if it is unjust and misguided. it is not pretty and it isnt good behaviour but it is a very heartfelt emotion to me.
its obvious that he cannot compete with others and that this will always been seen as his personal fault instead of a circumstance he cannot influence. and more than that: no one appreciates the real efforts he makes.
for instance, getting himself out of bed in time for classes is difficult for regular teenagers and straight up hellish for ritsu. but he manages to do so a lot later on. instead of acknowledging that this is a real accomplishment on his part and possibly really exhausting and bad for his comfort in the long run, this is seen as doing the bare minimum.
while it is not correct, the malice ritsu sometimes treats others with comes from an comprehensible place. able-bodied ignorance can appear as purposeful slights made by those more privileged than him.
yet he learns to conform. his friends are important to him. knights success is important to him. (thought mental health probably played a role here too and made things even harder prior to his third year of high school)
and yet;
seven bridge, chapter 24, but its really just an example i had at hand
the remarks stay the same. his peers still cannot help but brand him as "just lazy", even if they are kind and understanding otherwise and habour no ill intent.
so i would like to ask: how long can he keep this up? how hard is this on him?
i dont think i need to explain just how common and hurtful it is to be accused of "laziness". probably the single most irritating comment someone with fatigue will hear every single day.
however, on the flipside, ritsu has perhaps the most people who care for him in comparison with other characters, though they sometimes complain (communication is hard, care is hard, everyone in enstars is very young and i cannot bring myself to see those comments as malice. its a mixture of ignorance and ones own burdens)
there is mao, obviously. tsumugi is a very funny example. knights, of course, in particular naru. (at least based on my humble knights readings)
quite interesting how he just decided mao is his caretaker, now and in the future. i shared a few of my thoughts on caretaking here.
this is.... a huge responsibility to just put on someones shoulders, to say the least.
he shouldnt be doing this but i think it speaks for itself that this is a problem that is on his mind. ITS IS A REALLY IMPORTANT TOPIC TO BRING UP, especially since, the younger you are, the harder it is to get insurance to pay for your care. yes, he is often just teasing mao, but ritsu is looking for ways to get through life. by learning to be as independent as possible, whenever possible. though often you really just find yourself at the mercy of friends and family.
Inter-Sibling Violence
apologies, i will be done with the sakumas soon. i didnt know how to fit this in at the start.
the relationship between rei and ritsu, as people with the same disability who experiences different symptoms and challenges, is worth thinking about.
infighting within people of the same disability is very common since experiences can be so different, there are no universal truths or opinions. with different lifestyles come different expectations for what is "normal" and sometimes pressure and social norms can cause someone to shift blame onto others who have no achieved the same things in life.
rei and ritsu are said to have been very close as small children and likely depended on each other a lot. i can see how reis fostering nature and ritsus needy nature developed alongside each other and enforced each other.
time and time again, rei says that he is a "less severe" case, that ritsu has it worse. he jets around the world because he feels forced to do so, when ritsu just wanted emotional support from him to begin with.
ritsu stayed alone at home, sheltered and likely caged by their families convictions.
but! i want to suggest the following: as much as it hurt him, it was important for reis health to be away from his family, too. i dont think staying there would have been good for him. his absence and the experiences he made away from home were an important catalyst for the positive family development we see in operetta.
of course, rei means well. he cares. he is trying to have a positive impact.
yet from ritsus point of view, all of this must feel terribly condescending, especially with how much rei babies him.
there is just one year between them. this is barely anything when it comes to sibling inferiority complexes the brain can make up.
rei, who is successful and famous and beloved and, most importantly, proclaims to have it "easier than him", is trying to find a cure for him. from ritsus point of view this must be unbearable. their lives are so different when they basically started at the very same point of origin.
more than that, rei shoulders the sketchy blood rituals himself, out of love of course, but if one was more jaded, one could assume he doesnt think ritsu would be able to stomach the responsibility.
you will always compare yourself to your siblings in unhealthy ways but ritsu is just doing this on hard mode, i fear.
HHHRAGAHHHH GHHH ghgghrhgh. Niki
nikis writing is... driving me up a wall sometimes, to say the least.
dont get me wrong, i love him. to an extend i understand that his single-mindedness and shallowless has purpose to it. in fact, i adore these character traits.
he really seems to be behind four mental barriers at all times, unable to let deeper thoughts touch him, lest they make him succumb to despair.
(yet nikis specific flavour of menhera cannot quite shine since... well, he has to stand next to himeru all the time)
the descriptions we get of nikis illness are nonsensical, at least to my knowledge. you could imagine he has something like hyperthyroidism. this never really gets explored though. at some point ENGstars mentions he has "gastroptosis or whatever" (the "or whatever" is part of his dialogue - niki really doesnt give a fuck), which makes no sense at all. weirdly enough, it would even be strangely in character if this was just a misconception.
so, can anyone take niki to a doctor? has this happened and i just wasnt there for it? there is no excuse why no one is considering medical care when it comes to him.
except that he often is the butt monkey of jokes the writers want to make and has to stay available for it.
more than that; his parents just left him alone like this? as a child? did he get an allowance at least? this cannot be legal, right? i wait for the day this comes up as a topic but i fear it is in vain. (please tell me if it actually did. i dont follow niki that closely)
this is an unbelievable thing to do to a healthy child, yet alone one with a severe illness. we are basically looking at denial of assistance.
so many things surrounding nikis story are designed to make him as miserable as possible. i cannot help but feel that he exists purely as comic relief, for funny bickering, and superficial drama. i dont really like that at all, his misery just gets exploited.
EVEN SO... his self-image is actually really fascinating. as rinne likes to point out again and again, niki has no self-worth.
he works two jobs, one of which he hates, he constantly gets into dangerous situations, and he will do anything just for some crumbs, and quickly forgets when others treat him badly.
and of course, the worst bit:
es!! main story, please dont make me go find it
to some degree, he just accepts this as something he deserves. there is no consideration for his own quality of life, somewhere along the lines it seems like he got conviced just surviving is all he gets.
he internalized self-degredation to a dangerous degree and i never see anyone mention this mental affliction specifically as a comorbidity of his disability. to me, there is without a doubt a relation here.
sure, maybe he would still fight with this otherwise, just because he had to witness his fathers fall from grace as a child and knows there is a stigma attached to his name now. but i think you can tell it is more than that, from the way he is ashamed to beg (even in a life or death scenario, as seen in hot limit), as if his condition was his own fault.
this circles back to the point i made earlier for eichi; how much nikis life is worth, is measured in his economical value.
of the characters i have spoken of so far, nikis is financially the most accurate to real life. there is no safety net for him, no convenient family wealth.
(at this point it feels important to mention that somehow rinne manages to be the only person entirely aware of the danger and desires to change nikis mindset, YET he is a huge strain on nikis health. i dont know how those two function.)
Just a Lamb. Tatsumi
tatsumis specific trauma is a unique one: while most other characters struggle with conditions they were born with or developed as they grew up, tatsumis injury is the result of strain and violence.
those are two different pairs of shoes, though the outcome may be similar. whether it is worse to be born into circumstances you cannot escape or to have to live with having something thrust upon you unfairly is up to personal judgement. pain is not really quantifiable.
its just important to keep in mind, i think. under the circumstances tatsumi grew up in, he has his own burdens.
it is very easy in many ways to compare and contrast him with eichi. of course this applies to how they used their bodies too: as an expandable resource. they had ideals for their school life (and beyond) that just seemed far more important and they both ended up in hospital because of this. (+ we know tatsumis surroundings were purposefully manipulated to destroy him)
and, of course, tatsumi got attacked later on. he never really talks about it directly but his legs seem to talk for him, in ways.
the story does not quite make it clear whether his occasional weakness and pain are the result of old injuries or entirely psychosomantic, and i dont think there is a real need to know, as a reader. in fact, in a certain light, i think it can be considered good that we dont know for certain:
it would be relevant for tatsumi himself, sure, since it would influence which kinds of treatments and help he can seek out. however, i think the ambiguity may foster a certain level of sympathy in readers.
often psychosomatic problems are not taken seriously enough in real life: they cannot be proven physically and they dont fit into the neat little boxes that the ICD wants you to believe exist, so they cannot be defined on paper or easily explained to doctors or insurance providers.
to foster empathy with his situation requires his character to be lovable and for the narrative to treat him with care as well. which is thankfully the case. alkaloid are dear with him and, despite the fact he cannot perform in his work enviroment all the time, he is very respected for his other skills. he is a well-rounded person.
all that aside. it is absolutely worth to mention tatsumi pre-injury, too. he came up with a form of small-scale universal income among a semi-union at school. without getting too much into all that. (obbligato really seems like required lecture in the realm of enstars stories)
the entire concept strives for social equality and is extremely anti-discrimination. it fundamentally goes against the idea that someone needs to "deserve" care, and is the opposite of the mindset i described with eichi and niki above.
he never had to make first-hand experiences with disability to be extremely compassionate. this seems really rare among people in real life, even those who preach altruism.
While we are Here. K.... Kaname
as mentioned, i spoke a little about kaname before. so i wont get into the complex of caregiving.
it is extremely satisfying we got to meet kaname, if only for one event story. he does not have to remain a faceless motivation behind himeru and tatsumis lives, he thankfully became humanized.
the entire conflict around kaname at the moment is a matter of bodily autonomy. how much of your person can be in anothers hand, ethically?
there is no excuse for the theft of his (idol) identity through himeru but the damage is done now. ideally, you dont want any part of yourself to depend on others but the disabled reality is that this is very often impossible. especially for kaname. there simply is no one else who could be responsible for him right now and, to be fair, at least when it comes to medical care, himeru seems to behave very responsibly.
repeating what has been said in the other post but i am worried for kanames seemingly inevitable reintroduction to the story.
he has been in a comatose state for a year.
if he wakes (since this is fiction, it is possible to exchange 'if' for 'when', realistically it really would be an 'if' though) he would most likely be confronted with permanent neurological and physical damage and years of rehabilitation. at least logically. (not to mention the psychological shock)
would this be written with compassion and a sense of realism? it makes for a compelling source of conflict and emotional hardships that could be extremely worthwhile to explore. i just cant entirely bring myself to trust the writers with this one but i would love to be convinced otherwise.
that is, of course, if they dont somehow just skip rehabilitation entirely and declare it a miracle healing.....
imo, the in-game discourse between characters is just as important as his future development. i just really hope autonomy and recovery will be large topics.
He doesnt go here, but. Adonis
so bringing him up just really feels necessary within the context of this post because of his interests. one of adonis hobbies is sign language and accessibility.
this is, i think, maybe the best thing they ever did with his "protector" persona. it just fits so well, it is a direct conversion of ideals to actions.
knowing undead songs have been translated for a deaf audience in canon is extremely wholesome and uplifting, even if it is entirely inconsequential for the story and just something that gets mentioned.
(now that sandstorm is out on engstars, you can check that out too for further mentions of this! if i could wish for one thing, it would be for the stories to acknowledge that there are tons of independent sign languages and i would love to know which one adonis and rei speak... you ever think about how adonis speaks like four languages fluently. at least.)
nightless city live, chapter 3
everyone in undead loved that and supported the vision. to see koga, who is usually against anything but musical performances and wishes to express art freely, praise the idea really puts deaf identity and accessibility in a great light. it is a very positively radical forwardthinking idea.
so, i just wanted to mention that. adonis is treated horribly by the narrative a lot, it entirely fails to grasp his identity and is insensitive towards foreign cultures, but i would die for him i think.
finishing thoughts
like mentioned, please absolutely let me know if you have different related ideas or recommendations. or corrections, or worries over something i wrote!!! learning and improving is always great.
i am sorry i could not get into so many other characters, the ones i wrote about are those that i feel confident enough to comment on.
in the future i would love to meet maguro!! i just havent really read any mama stories at all :'''3
i feel like i barely said anything at all and barely engaged with text enough since i didnt get into any character specifically. i would love to write another post about ritsu or rei or both. a draft for it has been sitting around for ages (as did the draft for this post, lol)
but i hope someone will find an interesting thought in here somewhere.
all in all, enstars is actually... surprisingly nice to read for the disability in there??? even if it is disappointing in handling many other things. of course, the writings not always ideal (i read hidden beast just the other day and the ableism in there took years off my life) but often its really nice.
nothing hits quite like seeing real emotions and experiences through some metaphorical stylized anime lense, you feel.
anyway thank you for listening. i am actually for real done now.
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hii! could you please do zb1 gunwooks ideal type? <3
Gunwook ideal type
As young as Gunwook is, he seems to have figured out his type from a young age/he's probably already known it. He's someone who is quite the workaholic and desires someone that shares those smae qualities as he does. Someone responsible and they know their priorities. They're not easily swayed by others and are independent. Finances is something I picked up, maybe someone financially independent too? He finds that pretty attractive.
He has his Lilith in Cancer conjunct his Saturn. He likes someone with feminine energy. Someone that can be a bit "motherly" in a way? Like they're caring and sweet but they also have "motherly tendencies" and they're quite grounded. I see Gunwook admiring someone has embodies soft energy, one that is known to be sweet and kind to everyone.
He also likes people that are well-rounded and intelligent. Someone that knows other languages? He sees those people as smart and likes that. I feel like he would want to be with people with unique views just to have cool discussions with them. He seems like someone that likes to talk about deep topics like religion, philosophy, etc.
Last thing I got it "charm". Now charm can come in different form but the one I'm picking up on is "cute". Like you know when a girl has an "adorable" vibe to them? Like they can charm you with their "cuteness"? (Hope I'm making sense here LOL). That's what I'm picking up on.
Features he would like based on my intuition.
Round/chubby cheeks
cute smile
curled hair
wears pink
softer dressing style (i.e. wears pastel, flowy dresses, etc).
shorter than him
softer features
nice lips
but also some slimness (like they have a skinnier frame or something)
nice proportions.
round face
#kpop astrology#astrology#zb1 astrology#zb1 gunwook#gunwook astrology#zb1 ideal type#zb1 ideal type astrology#zb1 birth chart#gunwook birth chart
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would de-aging damian be possible in future comics and would uou support it
Would it possible? most likely not. Tim only got de-aged by 1 whole year due to the entire universe being reset and jon, even with extreme backlash, still hasn't gotten de-aged then i don't think Damian will.
okay, now let's work with the hypothetical that he does get de-aged, would i like it? depends. I'm going to be bold here and say that damian being ten from 2006-2016? good enough. my goal age for him at the stage would be twelve or eleven at a stretch (not that I'm against him being fourteen currently, i really don't care. any damian content is fine with me) i just feel this is what we would realistically have if damian wasn't thirteen for the sake of him being included in the TEEN titans book. (and boy did that one suck)
Damian being fourteen specifically is probably only for him to enter high school. I feel that yields more writing opportunities than being a middle schooler but, again, this kid is a polyglot who can build cars and worked out wayne finances by himself at ten (IN HIS CIVILIAN IDENTITY, MIND YOU)
So you could make a good case for damian just skipping a few grades.
Do i feel this is needed? No. Absolutely not. Damian is fine as is, i just feel this would be a slight improvement to how Damian has been ageing so rapidly compared to his family. some are even saying he's fifteen now, meaning the difference between infinite frontier tim and damian is one year when it used to be seven (thank you tim for being my favourite age comparison toolbut just know he's about the only one who i know the confirmed age of from memory.) i think jason is between 21/22 and dick 25~ in current canon, meaning damians age gap with jason right now is now about the same as damians age gap with tim when he joined the family.
After all that, do i genuinely want damian to be aged down? eh. i, again, don't really care either way. I just like talking and Damian's age is a very constant conversation topic so i just had thoughts.
#damian wayne#dc comics#damian al ghul#damian robin#dc#dc robin#robin damian#batfamily#batfam#batman
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Will I ever stop pathologising the AP main characters and creating incredibly detailed backgrounds riddled with childhood trauma? It’s unlikely!
(INSANELY LONG) (LIKE INSANELY) (YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED) EXPLANATIONS BELOW
(And If you have hc’s feel free to share!)
Patrick: cmon. The entire plot of AP is literally him just begging to be noticed.
Bro is devoid of attention right until the very last scene (aka the one with his lawyer). Sorry to all the SiGmA mALe AMPS fans but this is not a “sigma 🥶”, this is a man who did not receive a MORSEL of affection during his formative years.
His obsession with ‘fitting in’ (ie being accepted and therefore cared about) through his clothes, his looks, his social circle; his outbursts of intense emotion and inability to regulate them (almost as if he was never taught how to do so); the way he views the women in his life in an almost maternal way (namely Evelyn and Jean) - he just needs a hug!!!
And some intense therapy. And heavy duty psych meds.
Paul: this one is partly canonical, partly not.
The way that his character is almost revered by the other guys at P&P is interesting; he comes over as this über cool, competent, successful finance bro almost to a greater extent than they think they are.
But then he gets drunk with Patrick away from the office and from the constraints of corporate professionalism and becomes this silly goofy little guy.
I don’t necessarily think his work ‘persona’ is an act: I think it’s the parts of himself that he has to accentuate in order to succeed.
Also - I took influence for this from the amazing Paul character studies written by my dear friend @leoblooms on AO3 - please check them out
Luis: this one is pretty self-explanatory.
He’s the only confirmed canonically queer character in AP (although, come on, Patrick’s canon closet is made of glass at this point). And yet - in a way that so many LGBT+ people have suffered with throughout history and sadly even to this day - he can never, ever show it. Being openly gay in his environment would make him a social pariah.
Instead, he has to fit in: he’s marrying a woman, he’s acting like ~one of the guys~, he’s hoping that he can suffocate that part of himself by burying it six feet underground. But as so many of us know all too well: you can’t hide who you are forever. The bathroom scene with Patrick just proves this.
I also wanted to make a note of this because it’s very interesting to me - I read the most AMAZING fic a couple of years ago that was written from Courtney’s perspective, and in it it was mentioned that Luis is Catholic. I’m a Christian as well (from a famously progressive denomination) and although a lot of attitudes are changing within the Catholic Church, particularly right now, the ‘gay = sin’ mentality does prevail for many.
So it makes sense that if Luis was raised Catholic he has been suppressing that part of himself for a very long time. I can see him lying to himself and having girlfriends in high school.
Courtney: my literal baby girl. I’ve written a whole 18k character study on her because I find her so canonically fascinating.
My headcanon is that her father was absent from her life from a young age - but this is rooted in how she actually acts in the source material.
In the boardroom scene, Luis thanks Patrick for “taking care of Courtney last night”. To me, it sounds like he’s taking on a role that’s almost paternal. She is also notably reliant, and almost clingy, on the men in her life: telling Patrick she can’t go out because she’s waiting for Luis to call, and practically begging Patrick to call her after they’ve slept together.
Additionally there’s the whole ‘fucking my best friend’s boyfriend’ thing - I’m getting WAY off topic here but I see so much of her in Cassie from Euphoria. Unless someone is purposefully malicious and nasty, I think there’s always a reason for that kind of thing, even if it is complex and unsavoury.
I hate to use the term “daddy issues” because it absolves absent/abusive fathers of all of their damage and unfairly places the blame on young women, but if I had to describe a reason for why she might act in this way - having seen it first-hand myself from many people - that would be it.
Evelyn: so I did take some influence from Reese Witherspoon’s character in Legally Blonde here - but I think Evelyn is actually one of the smartest characters in AP and so I feel it’s fitting.
She comes over as incredibly ditzy and shallow, but remember we’re seeing and reading all of this from Patrick’s perspective - of course he’s not going to have a high opinion of her, because…it’s Patrick Bateman were talking about here.
In reality, she’s probably one of the most socially clued-in characters. For example: she effortlessly hosts big gatherings with grace and decorum even if the majority of guests are, let’s be honest, fucking insufferable.
She’s also the only character who can actually handle Patrick and meets him on his own level. She absolutely refuses to take any of his bullshit (“what am I supposed to do with that? Floss with it?”).
Her actions and force prove her to be the strong willed and savvy and to me that suggests intellect, as much as it may be hidden - again, due to the environment she exists in.
Bryce: he’s so interesting.
I’ve not written as much about him in my fics as the others, but his actions in the source material suggest that underneath his finance bro Wall Street image, he’s someone who’s very disillusioned, and almost broken.
I really wish the scene of his…episode?…in the club hadn’t been cut from the film. I’d recommend anyone to watch it (and the rest of the deleted scenes because they’re class) if they’ve not seen it already.
There’s also The Informers, the book and film adaptation of another of of Bret Easton Ellis’ works, which features a young Tim Bryce (referred to as Price) and the complex relationship with his father. I’ve not read/watched it in full yet, but whilst they’re on holiday Bryce’s father gets drunk and acts lecherous and gross towards young women on the beach, and Bryce is disgusted by this (perhaps he’s not as much of a raging misogynist as his peers?), and then makes ‘joking’ comments about Bryce being the subject of attraction by other men, to which Bryce walks out on him (perhaps he’s less condemning of homophobia than the others? Or, possibly…maybe he has less than hetero feelings himself? Not to spoil any of Mergerizations but I headcanon him as bisexual tbh).
This behaviour suggests that, at least as a teen, Bryce was very assertive of what was and wasn’t okay and was happy to make these views known.
But due to bullying by his father and, again, the environment that he likely grew up in, he has to suppress this part of himself to be accepted.
WOWWWW that was a whole ass essay. If you’ve read to this part, 1) I’m sorry 2) THANK YOU 3) I love you!!!!
#american psycho#patrick bateman#american psycho memes#bret easton ellis#mary harron#christian bale#gay#lgbtq#patrick bateman x paul allen#paul allen#lesbian#biseuxal#trauma#childhood trauma#daddy issues#character study
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