#english isn't my first language so if you find any mistakes please tell me :) | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

joelsgoldrush · 10 months

Text

swore i heard you whisper that you preferred us like that

joel miller x f!reader / 5,8k words

summary: you ask joel –the quiet, distant joel– to teach you how to ride a horse. they say the eyes are the window to the soul, and it must be true, because when he really sees you, it´s like he finally understands what you feel for him.

warnings: smut 18+ let’s pretend joel never left jackson, porn with plot, no use of y/n, age gap (reader is in her late 20s, joel is 56), grinding, oral (f receiving), fingering, masturbation, pet names, unprotected p in v (don't try this at home ok), dirty talk, soft!dom joel (sort of???), a bit of angst/feelings, joel gets all babygirl around reader, ellie appears for like a minute, mediocre attempt at recreating joel's southern accent (sorry in advance)

a/n: hello??? well this is my first fic ever so bear with me, i'm still new to all this. also english isn't my first language so i'm afraid there may be mistakes (mostly when it comes to collocations bc i hate them and they confuse me), buuuut i'm learning obviously and if you find anything that should be corrected PLEASE TELL ME thank you :) i'd appreciate if you told whether you liked this story (idk what to call it tbh) but if you don't it's more than fine! anyways thank you so much for reading if you come across this fic, i hope you like it! i've spent a week writing it bc finals season is killing me <///3

here's my masterlist in case you want to read my other works :)

"Oh, my drunken southern star / How you tried to hide in darkness / Slipped from orbit / Now you’re dangerously close / Come out, come out from all your hiding out / We’ll dig in our heels, salute the battlefields / Where our broken hearts were born."

What is it that he has?

You used to ask yourself that question every night as you went to bed. On some occasions, you couldn't manage to come up with an exact answer. There were too many reasons that disclosed why a man like him lingered on your mind, even in those moments that were supposed to be for you and only you. Sleeping more than three hours a day was definitely something you needed tremendously, but still, the not-so-rational voice inside your head kept on bringing his name up without fail, disturbing your rest.

Joel Miller. Was it possible to feel like this? Like you knew somebody without having exchanged more than five words with them? Sure, there wasn't a single person in Jackson who wasn't aware of his existence. From whispered rumors in the streets to stories that intended to give his reserved personality an explanation, Joel became a real talking-point among those in the commune. Years ago, when the world was still just a floating ball in space, he would’ve frightened you, being the kind of person your parents used to warn you about as you started to grow older.

He walked a certain way, as if he were holding the suffering of many lives in his hands. Always on guard, prepared to fight those who defied him. Hidden knives in his pockets, a gun between his fingers, the trigger too tempting to be pulled at any time given. His hair was a mixture of brown and gray, and you swore that the latter was only becoming more prominent as days went by.

Suddenly, your pillow felt too uncomfortable, your hands fisting the fabric of your t-shirt while you kicked the blanket resting on top of your bare feet. A sigh escaped your lips, the taste of something you couldn't even distinguish on your tongue, your unsteady breath being the only sound to be heard in that noiseless night.

You were having a hard time figuring out how you felt about Joel (if there was anything to feel in the first place, since he barely remembered your face and there you were, fantasizing about him instead of sleeping.) Maybe you liked how he presented himself, how bossy and persistent he looked the times you caught him patrolling around the zone. Or perhaps it was his character what charmed you in the first place, and the fact that, deep down, a different side from him remained completely unseen.

He was handsome, too. Tall, broad shoulders, aquiline nose. His arms looked majestic in every single piece of clothing he wore, his tanned skin shiny enough to reflect the very same sun. And his legs… you were sure they were muscular like the rest of his body, because of all the physical effort he did. You had heard that he worked as a contractor before the pandemic, which made a lot of sense. Once or twice you had paid attention to his hands and–

Then, a familiar feeling sinked in. Warm began spreading through your belly, your thighs involuntary clenching together. “Fuck,” you muttered in a low tone, keeping your hands glued to your sides. Another motive not to think about Joel: he made you feel… things. Certain things that you hadn't felt for anyone in a very long time. You preferred to think that it was probably due to the fact that you were touch-starved, and not because you found yourself deeply attracted to him. Never had you ever been a sexually active person, so why now? Why did the mere image of Joel in your mind turn you on?

He’s strong. I’m alone. I feel the need to find someone who’s willing to protect me. That’s it. No other reason.

Your internal monologue was lacking in arguments, but it was definitely something you could work with. As if on cue, you found it hard to keep your eyes open, your limbs not feeling as if they were yours anymore. Next thing you knew, you were asleep.

That night, you dreamt with Joel.

★ ★ ★ ★ ★

In a small cabin, you taught children how to paint and draw. Maria believed it to be helpful for their psychological development or something like that, and you had agreed to do it. A good way to spend your free time– that’s what it was. Plus, you liked children; some would even choose to include you in their drawings, and that small gesture just warmed your heart.

There, you met Ellie, a teenager whose basic vocabulary consisted mostly of profanities.

And boy, you loved Ellie.

It was hard not to, actually. She was like a breath of fresh air, with her jokes and instant charm. You two became attached in a short time, and she reminded you of a younger version of you, just a lot braver. Although in this world it brought her benefits, you sometimes wished she wouldn’t have gone through all that shit. Those eyes, which squinted as she laughed if you tickled her sides, were the cemetery of many buried memories. You wondered how she managed to put a smile on her face despite her past and the horrible things she had seen, hoping it was genuine and not a mask.

“Look!” her voice brought you back to reality. Blinking in her direction, you realized the amount of paint you had dropped onto the floor, a red stain already forming on the carpet. “Are you okay? You seem off.”

“I’m fine! Just a bit sleepy today, that's all,” you got closer to where she was lying down, her fingers moving the brush you had gifted her in different directions. Squatting a bit, you placed a strand of hair that didn’t make it into her ponytail behind her ear. “So, what are you painting?”

She smiled warmly, and her teeth catched her lower lip momentarily. “It’s not finished, okay? Don’t freak out. I know you’re a perfectionist.”

“I’m not…” you tried to explain yourself, but ended up choosing to be defeated. “Maybe you’re right. Anyway, may I see it?”

The canvas was in your hands a few moments later. Ellie spoke beside you, her words mixing together in a sign of embarrassment. “It’s for Joel. Figured I could do something nice for him, you know? I don’t– I think I need to start over. His eyes look kind of strange, don’t they? They’re so close he looks like a cyclops.”

“Don’t say that, kiddo. This is… it’s beautiful,” your index finger traced the lines framing his jaw, the shades of his skin perfectly achieved. You held the painting even tighter, afraid of breaking it for a second. He wasn’t frowning like he normally did; Ellie had painted him smiling, and the crinkles by his eyes matched his age. Surely you must have spent more time than necessary staring at it, ‘cause then Ellie continued talking.

“Well, you know what they say: The student has become the teacher.”

You handed the canvas to her, a smirk taking place on your face. “Yeah, I guess I’ll stop teaching you if that’s the case.”

An hour or so later, someone knocked on the door. As both of your hands were occupied (a more formal way to say that they were dirty with paint), you screamed “Come in!”, and Ellie covered her painting with an old, muddy curtain you used to clean the tables in which the children worked. You were about to ask her why she had reacted in that way, until you turned around and saw him.

Joel was there, as every other Wednesday. In your cabin, standing right in front of you. And you didn’t even look presentable. His hair looked messy, a couple of locks stuck to his forehead with sweat. “Hi,” he said shortly, meeting your gaze and attempting to shake your hand, but you avoided contact.

Showing him your hands, you held your palms in the air as an indication of the still fresh paint on your skin. “Sorry. If I were to accept the gesture, I’d leave you a stain.”

He retrieved a bit, adjusting his glove. “It’s okay. Safety first.”

That was supposed to be a joke, you noticed tardily. The silence in the room persisted until Ellie appeared from behind your back, already putting her coat on.

“You were supposed to pick me up in half an hour, asshole.”

His mouth snapped shut for an instant. “I missed you too. How was the class?”

Ellie lifted her shoulder in a half shrug, looking in your direction and proceeding to jerk her thumb toward Joel. She didn’t want him to see the painting. “Fine as usual.”

“Can I see what you’re–”

“No fucking way!” she accentuated the word fucking, drawing him closer to the door.

“Why not?”

“Because it’s not done.”

“But–”

“No more questions, Joel. Let’s go! Say bye!” Ellie handled him like a baby, which made you giggle.

Though you saw Joel raising his eyebrows, so you stopped laughing.

Soon, they left and the cabin returned to its familiar quietness. A sigh erupted from your chest, and you allowed yourself to fall on top of a chair.

At least you could say you had actually talked to Joel for once.

★ ★ ★ ★ ★

It didn’t surprise you that you wanted to see him again.

Not in the “you-turn-me-on” way, but in the “you-seem-interesting-and-i-need-to-find-out-why” one.

He had something. Something so magnetic and indecipherable that kept pulling you towards him. Something that made you look for his presence in every crew, and not sensing what it was only made your wishes to dissect him grow bigger. There was a tiny probability that he was an idiot with a pretty face. Who knew? You definitely didn’t, and that needed to change. You deserved to know if pining over that man was worth it or not.

That chain of thoughts led you to look for him the next day, almost trembling with eagerness as you asked him the most stupid and unexpected question you could have imagined.

“Would you teach me how to ride a horse?”

He looked at you as if you were out of your mind, opening his mouth a few times and then closing it before he actually replied to you. “You’re tellin' me you don’t know how to ride a horse?”

“Tried it a few times, but failed and now I really want to learn to do it properly,” you swore his eyes were trying to decipher if you were saying the truth or not. “Ellie told me that you could probably make some time to teach me?”

“So Ellie's in charge of my schedule, I suppose?” you froze on the spot, and he must have noticed it because then his expression dulled. “Sorry, sweetheart. It was a joke. I've been told I'm not the best humorist.”

Sweetheart. You could’ve died a happy girl.

“Look, why don’t we meet up tomorrow after lunch? I'm sure it won’t take us much time. Not a difficult task, y’know?” he stroked his beard, apparently thinking you understood what he was talking about.

“Sure. Thank you, Joel. My name’s–“

He didn’t let you finish. “I do know your name,” and before leaving, he repeated: “I’ll be here tomorrow. You know where to find me.”

To say that you slept without interruptions that night was an understatement. Each hour seemed to become longer the more you glimpsed your watch. Your heart drummed inside your chest violently, and you feared that someone else would be able to hear it if they got close enough to you.

After having lunch in the same spot as every other mundane day, your legs took you to the stable. You took a shaky breath, expecting him to appear out of thin air, but fifteen minutes went by, and there was still no sign of Joel. Pressing your forehead against the wooden door, you wrapped your arms around yourself. “What was I even thinking?”

“Hey.”

You looked to your side and– there he was, already getting inside the stable and inviting you to follow him. Joel petted one of the horses, clicking his tongue. His fingers caressed the animal’s back, and when he shot a glance at you, he didn’t ignore your disturbed expression.

“Don’t tell me you’re afraid of horses.”

“I’m not afraid of them,” you laughed awkwardly, eyeing the horse, which stared at you with those big and strange eyes. You raised your hand to mimic Joel, but that just made the animal move further away from you. “I guess it’s mutual. We don’t like each other.”

Joel smirked, guiding you outside. “It’s a damn horse. I don’t think you can tell whether he likes you or not. You gotta change that attitude of yours,” he murmured as he got on top of the horse, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Treat him well and he’ll be nice.”

At first, Joel taught you the basics: how to position yourself for balance, get your legs in the right position, hold the reins properly. A little bit of help coming from him was needed for you to mount the horse. He got down on one knee, patting it as if it were a mounting block. “Come on. Step on it.”

No need to ask me twice, you thought as you did what you were told, and once you were grabbing on those reins for dear life, you observed him with curious eyes. “Now what?”

“Now…” he pressed his hand into one of the horse’s sides, and afterwards, the horse began to fucking trot and you cried out, a high-pitched shriek slipping from your mouth. Joel laughed maliciously, almost hypnotized by the scene. “Now is when you learn how to ride a horse!”

“This isn't funny!” you screamed, the horse still very much entertained with the way you were jerking on top of him. “Stop!”

You couldn't believe how he kept… cracking up. Joel touched his stomach, shaking with laughter. “You’re a natural, can’t you see it? I’m havin' the time of my life here.”

“What I can see is that you’re an idiot! Cut the cackle and help me!”

But he didn’t move a single muscle. Instead, he remained still, that smug look never abandoning his features.

The bastard. “You’re gonna make me beg? In this situation?”

Crossing his arms while teasingly grinning at you, he added: “Wouldn’t hurt to try.”

“Joel Miller, will you help me? Pretty please?” your hair was getting in the way, and you could taste it as you insisted. “Is that enough for you?”

It was, actually. He helped you get down from the horse, his thick fingers digging into the mushy skin of your waist. It shouldn’t have felt that good, but it did. You were supposed to be angry at him for setting you up and still, by touching you for a microsecond, he had transformed you into something malleable.

Sadly, that feeling didn’t last much longer. “Didn’t know you were a man of manners. Should’ve told me beforehand.”

“Didn't know you could scream like that. I hope you didn’t freak anyone out.”

The two of you continued to practice until nightfall. A thing you also learned, apart from horse riding, was that Joel was a determined man. Everytime you tried to quit, he stopped you, making it impossible for you to rest. You stared at him, rubbing the back of your sore neck with a grimace. “I’m tired. Can we go back?”

“One more time.”

“Joel–”

“Trot a couple of meters just one more time, and that’s it for today. Can you do that for me?”

You tried not to pay too much attention to his choice of words, although it was basically non-viable. He looked sinful, and you longed to shut him up with a bruising kiss. Again, a hopeless option. Your hands itched to touch him, to feel his stubble, rough and coarse under your thumbs. How could you stay focused when the man you had been daydreaming with for the last couple of months was bossing you around?

Despite your inability to clear your head of any of those thoughts, you managed to accomplish what he had asked you to do. “Well done,” he offered you his hand to dismount the horse and you accepted it, sighing as you stretched out your arms. “We should take him back to the stable,” Joel suggested, giving you the impression of being pleased as you told him you were coming with him.

Inside the stable, he relocated the horse into one of the many stalls. Unbelievably, the place didn’t smell like absolute shit, which was what you were expecting from a barn. “Thank you for the lesson,” you told Joel once he was done with the horse.

“Anytime,” he scratched his jaw, the dim light making his dark eyes look, if possible, even darker. “It wasn’t that bad, was it?”

“No. You were right,” your heart thrummed with every word that he blurted. His presence was addictive. You were never the one to have any bad habits, but deep down, you recognized that he easily could develop one. “I thought you were less talkative.”

“So did I,” for an instant, he pressed his lips together, forming a tight line, as if he had said something he shouldn’t have in the first place. “I think I didn’t ask you this before: but why now? I mean, why did you wait so much time to learn how to ride a horse? Everyone in Jackson seems to know how.”

You cleared your throat, his piercing eyes peering at your movements. “I guess I thought it wasn't necessary back then, before all this. It's one of those things that you don't even consider until it becomes inevitable. I used to believe I had a lot of time left when I was younger,” you had never talked about this with anyone else. There was something so intimate about this conversation, how Joel stood seemingly tongue-tied in front of you, as if he were taking notes of what you were confessing to him. “I remember being a kid and not wanting to use my toys sometimes because I kept waiting for the right moment. But then…”

“You realize there’s no such thing as the right moment,” he finished the sentence for you, and you bowed your head. “Life can end at any moment, especially in a world like ours. That’s why you always gotta do what you wish to. We never know what’ll happen tomorrow.”

“Live for today, hope for tomorrow? That’s your creed?” you tried to mock him, the tension in the stable far from evident, but he didn’t move.

“It’s the way I try to live my own life. I don’t like being left with the desire to do somethin’ I could’ve done earlier. Too old for that.”

Maybe you were gradually losing it. Perhaps just a little. It couldn’t be a coincidence, right? Had he noticed how you acted around him? Were you that obvious?

“So, you would advise me to just…”

“Do whatever you feel right, sweetheart.”

That raspy sweetheart made you give in.

His eyes. His penetrating, gleaming eyes scrutinized your face at the same time you closed the distance between your bodies. From there, you were able to see every freckle, every small detail that you hadn’t previously acknowledged. He parted his lips, as if to speak, but no words other than your name came out. One of your hands made its way up to his cheek, cupping it, feeling the warmth his skin radiated. His head immediately leaned into your touch, like a moth into a flame.

You kissed him, unable to keep waiting. It took him what felt like ages to kiss you back, his fingers tangling in your hair. He absorbed your whimpers, pressing your back against the nearest wall. Maddening– it was the perfect word to describe how being kissed by Joel felt like. When you thought he was going to draw away from you, he just held you tighter until your lungs implored for some air. Your knees had never felt this weak, and you found yourself grabbing onto his shoulders, already feeling the places where his stubble had left its trace in flames.

“Joel…” you mumbled against his lips, detaching your mouth from his. Your erratic breaths seemed to sync together like a melody, and you tugged at the collar of his jacket.

He knew, could see it on your features. “Wanna go to yours?”

Joel took you home. The moment you set foot in the cabin, he closed the door behind him, his hand lingering on the handle as he contemplated you from a distance. You took your coat off first, starting to unzip your pants. There was silence long enough to hear crickets in, the moon up in the sky being the only bystander of your meeting. His eyes roamed the newly exposed skin of your legs and you observed him gulp.

“Did something happen?” you asked him, a flush crepting up your face. Taking a step forward, one of his hands came to rest on top of yours.

“No, it’s just that– Are you sure you want this?”

Crinkling your nose, you uttered: “Why wouldn’t I?”

“I’m just too old for you,” he warned you, running a knuckle down your cheek. “You should be with guys your age, y’know? Not with an old man like me.”

“I want you,” reassuring him, you got rid of your t-shirt, and the fact he was still dressed up from neck to toes lit some kind of fire inside you. His calloused fingers fiddled with the strap of your bra until it slipped off your shoulder. “This is what I want. Please, Joel.”

It turned out that Joel Miller certainly was a man of manners.

You couldn't help but moan as he grabbed you by the waist, dragging you to the couch by the window and straddling his lap, his hard-on finding its place beneath you, pulsing and in need of more. His tongue brushed yours ever so often, and your eyes rolled to the back of your head as his teeth latched onto the skin of your throat. Joel groaned, the sound, low and primal, having its desired effect on you, your hips involuntarily grinding against his in a delicious but tormenting rhythm that already had you on the verge of tears.

“Joel, please,” you managed to plead, not knowing precisely what you were asking for. His hands cupped your ass, imprinting his fingerprints on the soft flesh, forcing your hips to go harder and harder. The harsh fabric of his pants was definitely going to leave a mark on your cheeks, and thinking that helped you realize that you were the only one –almost– naked. You reached for the buttons of his denim shirt, your lips hovering over his. “Take your clothes off?”

He did the rest himself, throwing his jacket to the floor. When he got to his jeans, he cocked his head. “Why don’t we move this to the bedroom, if you’re so goddamn needy?” The few guys you had been with had never been very talkative during sex; there was even this one specific boy who had asked you to not make a sound while he fucked you.

But Joel wasn’t like them. It was just starting and you had already realized that he had a dirty mouth, an expectant look on his face every time he waited for your reaction to his words. “Now you’re quiet, huh? Thought you wanted me to fuck you, darlin',” one of his fingers pressed down on your clit, stimulating it through your underwear. He sighed, stopping his movements and pressing the damp pad of it against your lower lip, urging you to taste yourself. “You’re wet, baby. So fuckin’ wet. Have you been like this all day? Bet you would’ve let me take you right there in the forest.”

“Oh my God,” you whined next to his ear, your whole body trembling with desire. “Take me to bed,” you begged him, and next thing you knew, he was grabbing you as if you weighed nothing and heading towards your room.

Not knowing how, you kept your hands to yourself until he placed you on top of the bed. Joel shoved his jeans down and you didn’t think twice– you stroked his length, the fabric of his boxers only making the slow drag of your hand more satisfying. His long fingers circled your throat, and you moaned as you kept eliciting exquisite noises from him. “Let me take care of you,” his dilated pupils carved holes in your being, his grip doing nothing to cease the ache between your legs. “Please, baby. I need to make you feel good. Been thinkin’ about this for so long.”

“What?” you slowed down your pace, looking up at him through your eyelashes. “You wanted me?”

“Why do you think I began to pick Ellie up from your classes, huh? Because I’m a good, generous man?” Joel parted your knees, getting closer to where you required him the most. “I’m sorry to ruin this, but I’m far from good. Just wanted to see you and your pretty face. Didn’t know if we were on the same page until you came lookin' for me, askin' me to teach you how to ride a damn horse,” you hadn’t noticed your bra was missing till he cupped one of your breasts, flicking your nipple between his fingers. “I’m sure there were many other people you could’ve asked to teach you, but you chose me, didn’t you?”

“Don’t want anybody else,” your lips chased his, a drop of sweat already rolling down your temple. “I didn’t– didn’t know you noticed me.”

“How could I not? If you could only look at yourself like I’m doing right now… You’re a sight, sweetheart, all spread out for me,” removing your panties, he kissed the skin where your inner thighs met, his tongue darting out to draw imaginary figures on your flesh. His mouth was just inches away from your cunt, and you had to tell him.

“Joel?”

“What’s wrong?”

“I’ve never– nobody has ever done that for me.”

He seemed to understand what you were referring to. It made you tense a bit, despite the fact that you were completely naked in front of him, basically begging him to tear you apart. Still, the realization that you weren't as expert as him hit you out of nowhere. Yeah, it was all fun and games, kissing and touching probably the hottest man you had seen in your almost three decades of life. But said man was a lot older than you, and he had lived his best years in the real world, not this fucked up version you grew up in. You were sure he had been with many different women, which wasn’t a problem– you two were nothing.

“Nobody has ever tasted ya’? That’s what you’re tryin’ to tell me?” you nodded quickly, shoving a strand of his graying hair back away from his eyes. Joel chuckled languidly, squeezing your hips. “Do you want me to? It’s okay if you don’t. We can try somethin’ else.”

“Please,” you’d have time to embarrass yourself later, thinking about the amount of times you had repeated that word. But certain moments were to be lived only once, and though you hoped it wasn't the case, you had to take the chance. “I want you to.”

Four words. It took Joel four words to disappear between your legs, licking a hot stripe up your folds. You nibbled on your bottom lip, a loud moan filling the void of your dorm. He drew sweet patterns in your cunt, discovering a part of you that no one else ever had, and you couldn’t help but to grind against his face as he dipped the tip of his tongue into your entrance. Breathing wasn’t a necessity anymore. You felt as if all the air in the world was being punched out of your lungs, the knot in your belly growing tighter the more Joel spent his precious time keeping you entertained.

At some point, he focused his attention on your clit, circling it over and over again, making you shudder. Suddenly, the pad of his middle finger tested the waters, and he slowly slid it into your cunt, earning a strangled whine from you. Burying your hands in his hair, your glossy eyes looked for him for a second. You shouldn’t have done that, because as you took in the sight of Joel with his own eyes closed, browns knitted, your nostrils flared, and you wondered if it was even possible to want somebody that much.

“Joel, wait, I’m– fuck,” your jaw went slack and you scrunched up your face, two of his thick fingers nudging that spot that made you see stars. “I’m close.”

“That’s a good thing, sweetheart. Don’t know why you say it in such a dry tone,” his mouth curved into a smile, his chin and stubble shining with your slick.

Your chest rose and fell with rapid breaths. “I don’t want to come yet.”

“But you will.”

A thing you also learned, apart from horse riding, was that Joel was a determined man.

“Joel–“

“I’ll make you come with my mouth, and then with my cock,” dizziness was starting to blur your vision, your eyelashes fluttering with every hard thrust of his fingers. You glanced up to the ceiling, tears filling your eyes. “Think you can do that for me, be my good girl and come twice?”

You bobbed your head. It was official: he was going to make you come.

Drawing in a long breath, you could feel the unbearable pressure in your core. His name sounded like a prayer on your lips, chanting it in the same way some people expressed their devotion to a certain God. You had your own personal deity, whose tongue accomplished to push you to the limit, licking every drop of your release as if it were a special kind of forbidden elixir.

Your shoulders sagged and you relaxed under him. Joel kissed you, an open mouthed and filthy kiss crowning that moment as you panted. Through the cotton fabric of his boxers, you felt his hard-on poking your thigh. Shoving his underwear down, you took him in your hand, hot and just big, stroking him for real this time. You twisted your wrist at the tip, and he slumped forward, almost crushing you with his entire body weight, his breath dampening your neck. “Wanna fuck you, baby,” he croaked, his hips chasing your touch.

Out of all the scenarios you had ever imagined, none of them included being split open by Joel. You had a very vivid imagination, but no amount of creativity would’ve prepared you for what his cock would feel like inside of you. He bottomed out, his arms shaking where they rested on each side of your head. Joel’s breath quickened as he pulled out, just letting the tip, and then thrusting into you again.

“Fuck,” you didn’t recognize your own voice. It was even hard to decipher if you were still alive or dead from how magnificent he felt.

“So good, sweetheart. You’re so good, such a good girl,” he groaned, fucking deeper into you. His cock pulsed inside you, your cunt squeezing him. “Can’t believe how– how tight you are. You’re gonna make me lose my f–fucking mind.”

It was just too much. You hadn’t even recovered from your last orgasm before Joel started pounding into you like his life depended on it, the obscene sound of skin slapping skin ringing out in the room.

“You gonna come, huh? Gonna make a mess?” you could sense he was also close, his pace faltering as seconds went by, words slurring together. He pressed his forehead against yours, clenching his fists and taking in a sharp breath. “Fuck. I’m not gonna last much longer, baby.”

Come inside, you wished to tell him, to feel his seed dripping out of your greedy hole, painting your walls. But you weren't on the pill; it was also the first time you were sleeping with Joel, and you didn’t know how he would take the… suggestion. “Close,” you yelped instead, tears shimmering in your eyes as Joel’s body hovered over you like the most perfect eclipse.

His thrusts became more frenzied, if possible. “That’s it, darlin’. Come for me,” your gaze fixated upon him, his eyes flickering with hunger. “Wanna see you when you soak my cock.”

Your body went limp, your orgasm hitting you like a truck. Soreness took place in your throat as you moaned his name through the aftershocks, fireworks exploding behind your eyelids. Going rigid, you let go of Joel’s shoulders. He pulled out, mumbling something you didn’t quite catch. You fisted his cock, trying to give him the release he so yearned for. Joel kissed you, messy teeth and saliva taking part of it. Heavy on your hand, his dick twitched as you squeezed the base, roped of his warm cum splattering your belly. The scene reminded you of a painting; he was the talented painter, and you his blank canvas, waiting to be signed with his name.

It was the turn of silence now. None of you said anything for a while, until Joel used his boxers to clean up his cum from your stomach, smiling apologetically at you. “Sorry.”

“It’s okay,” your fingers delicately traced the contours of his chest as he reclined, enveloping you in the embrace of his strong arms. “Will you stay?”

Please say yes.

“Only if you want me to.”

Moral of the story: learning how to ride a horse can actually be nice if your teacher happens to be Joel Miller.

3K notes · View notes

lavender-storm · 6 months

Text

You are here now

summary | Theo breaks down and confesses why he's been so distant lately.

pairing | Theo Nott x fem!reader, she/her pronouns

warning | mentions of abuse, su1c1de, sad Theo, probably grammar mistakes

word count | ~2k

a/n: English isn't my first language, so if you found grammar mistakes, no you didn't. I also haven't written anything in a while, so i hope this isn't too bad. Let me know what you think! Xx

His legs are weak, and he can barely breathe when he finally sees her walking towards the Gryffindor common room.

"Y/N," his voice booms off the walls, scaring everyone around them. She stops but doesn't turn around, not needing to see who it is. She could recognise that voice anywhere. "Can we talk?" he says, a bit more quietly now. But she doesn't move, unsure what to do as Theo approaches her slowly. "Please?"

She takes a deep breath and simply starts walking towards a more secluded area. Theodore is breathless, his face is flushed and his whole body trembles. He's thinking of what to say, how to put his feelings into words as they sit down on the stairs, far away from curious eyes. Neither of them speak as he tries to slow down his vigorous heart. But words don't come easy to him as anxiety takes over his body.

The silence between them is too loud.

"How you been?"

"Good," Y/N answers, avoiding his gaze."You?"

"Eh. Could be better."

Another long silence, as Theo tries to collect himself.

"Is that all you wanted to talk about?" she asks, voice stern and cold. How did they end up like this? She used to look at him with so much love in her eyes. He misses it. Every day and night, it's all he can think about. How she laughed at his jokes, how she found comfort in his arms. How it all turned around as a fight followed a fight, with yelling and tears. The last time they talked, Y/N told him how disappointed she was, that he became one of those Slytherins. His heart shattered as soon as the words left her lips. He understood why of course. But it was him against his father, and he needed to change. It was for the better.

He should have said something a long long time ago. He shouldn't have waited. But he's scared, and his life is a mess and he just wants the earth to open up and swallow him whole. He's breaking under the weight, he's all alone and he can't find a way out.

"No, no. I, uhm," Theo's nervous, and Y/N can tell. It's rare he's like this and a heavy weight settles in her chest. He's usually collected, and outspoken, he never had any trouble talking. She wants to comfort him and let him know he can talk about anything, so she hesitantly lays a hand on his forearm. Even after all those arguments and crying and not talking, she cares. Of course, she cares. She is full of love.

Theo takes a shaky breath and tears collect in his eyes. He can't hold it back no matter how much he tries, because he feels so overwhelmed by her. He doesn't even know where to start.

Should he talk about his father? Should he tell her how he treats him? And that he never meant to become like this, but it was inevitable.

He needed her then, and he needs her now, but he fucked up by pushing her and everybody away, and he's scared he can't make it right. Y/N quietly calls his name as she caresses his arm, and a loud sob leaves Theo's lips. Y/N's heart rate picks up, the worry she felt before turned into terror as Theo's body trembles with every sob as she cradles him into her arms, holding his head to her shoulders while raking her fingers through his hair. Her heart breaks for him as he clings to her like his life depends on her.

"I'm sorry," he cries. "I'm so fucking sorry, Y/N. I never meant to do-, I di-didn't know - I'm just s-scared, so fucking scared. I hate him so much and then I did this to you. I miss y-you so bad, I can't even fucking breathe."

"Theo calm down, I can't understand you. Shh, it's okay just take a deep breath with me okay? Yeah, like that, great. You're doing great. One more," she says as she holds his face in her hands. Theo's chest tightens at her kindness. All those things he fucked up. He's a horrible son, a horrible friend, a horrible person. And yet here she is, wiping his tears with such a loving look in her eyes, his soul aches - he doesn't deserve her. "Now tell me again, okay? Slowly. I'm here, I'm listening."

"I'm sorry. I know you hate me, but I truly am sorry."

"I don't hate you, Theo-"

"Yeah, sure, than you are mad at me, whatever same thing."

"Theo-"

"I'm sorry okay? For everything. I didn't tell you the-, "he takes a deep breath and closes his eyes, tears still streaming down his face."I didn't tell you the truth. I lied because I didn't want you to know. But I needed you. I needed you so bad. So I kept it a secret because I was scared. What if you agree with him? What if you see me the way he sees me? So I just avoided you. I know it's stupid, but I was so goddamn terrified."

"Who is he, Theo? What are you talking about?"

"Dad," he whispers and hangs his head, refusing to see her reaction.

"What is he saying, Theo?"

"It's all my fault," he murmurs. Y/N's brows are furrowed in confusion, what is he talking about? What is his fault?

"No, Theo, no. I'm sure that's not true but what is-"

"But it is, Y/N! He is right. My mother always had to take care of me and my problems, that's why she- and now he hates me! I'm a burden and I made their lives miserable."

"That is not true Theodore, listen to me. Don't think that. And I'm sure they could never hate you. You probably misunderstood, I know your parents love you-"

"You don't hit someone you love! I would never hit you! Never. Not even Blaise or, or Draco, or the others, never. " Y/N's whole body freezes, her mind's rummaging through her memories. Oh Merlin. How could she miss this? How could she not realize that…

Y/N is angry. Angry that Theo didn't say anything until now. Angry that she couldn't see the obvious. He showed up with a new bruise every few weeks, and rumors of him initiating fights for fun, spread like fire. But no one ever knew who he fought. It always remained a mystery. Because all of it was a lie, and deep down Y/N knew, but that was easier to believe than this. He needed her and she ignored him. The only person she could ever open up to needed her the most, and she just left him.

"Theo, all this time we thought you were fighting other students, you-"

"He says it's the least I deserve. She was always working and always stressed because of me. They had to sacrifice so much. It's all my fault she couldn't take it. And now all of this is on Dad. It's my fault, I did this. I killed her."

It's an unwritten rule in the Nott family, that nobody talks about the death of Theo's mom. As far as others are concerned, she ran away. And so that's what Y/N thought too.

"She killed herself because of me. And he makes sure I'm aware of that. And I'm so scared that he's right."

"He is not right, Theo, look at me. He's not right. He's full of shit. I've never met your mother, but I know, he raised the kindest, smartest, most amazing boy ever. I know she must have been so proud to call you his son." Theo cries louder, his fingers hold onto her tightly. "I'm proud of you Theo. You don't deserve any of this."

Guilt claws at her chest as she takes him in. His eyes are red and puffy now, but a bruise is still visible under his left eye and a deep cut, already healed, splits his eyebrows. His skin is pale and cold, and he's so thin that his uniform hangs on his body like it's three sizes too big.

Months ago, it fit him perfectly.

She was so consumed by her anger and jealousy that Theo chose his new friends over her, that she couldn't even look at him. And she curses herself for being so oblivious and idiotic, because if she looked at him, only just a second longer, she would have seen the truth. Now, sitting on the stairs with only a little light, she can truly see him. And the Theodore that's sitting here is not the same Theodore she left that day.

"I can't do this without you, Y/N. I know I'm horrible but please. Please forgive me," he begs, but Y/N shakes her head. If someone should be apologizing it's her, not him.

"No, don't apologize. I'm- oh, Theo, I'm so sorry. I should have realized it. I should have paid attention, I should have been there for you. I'm so sorry I left you alone. I should have never done that," she says, pulling him into her embrace again. Theo hugs her tightly, basking in her warmth. "And you are wrong. You are not horrible. You are the most amazing person I've ever met, Theo. You were always there for me, always looked out for me. I'm so sorry I didn't do the same."

"You're here now,"

"Yes, I am."

"Are you staying?"

"Of course. I'm not going anywhere. Not again. I promise." He believes her. He knows none of this is her fault and if she knew, she would've never left. "I love you Theo, so so much. We'll get through this. Together."

And for the first time in months, Theo feels peace wash over his body like waves, and the noise in his head stops. It's silent and calm in his body and soul. Everything's going to be alright. Y/N is here again. They are okay again. He will be alright again.

#theodore nott imagine #theo nott x reader #theo nott imagine #theodore nott x reader #theodore nott #harry potter imagine #lavender-storm #slytherin boys

849 notes · View notes

faintedlcve · 9 months

Note

Hi! Could I please request a FIC abt Mattheo or Theodore (I’m in love with them both) and the reader always picks her hangnails (to fidget bc she is on the spectrum and has adhd) and they get her to stop by alway holding her hands and she goes to his quidditch game? (I love your fics sm)

Good luck charm

Pairing: Mattheo Riddle x fem!reader

Warnings: like none? do tell if I missed any xx

Summary: (just like read the request I cba)

A/n: thanks for the request and thank you SO much for the compliment💞! Sorry for the wait xx I wrote it about mattheo because I'm in my mattheo era (plus I feel like theo wouldn't be the sporty type) but I will write a Theodore version as well if you're okay with waiting xx I also happen to have ADHD lol so I just related the story to myself. English isn't my first language so there might be mistakes xx not proof read. I don't love it but I don't hate it either xx hope you like it x

reblogs are appreciated xx

You sat down in Snape's potion class after you got scolded for being 5 minutes late. His classes were SO boring. Your ADHD didn't help either. You grabbed your quill and started to doodle but were shortly stopped by Snape shouting at you for the second time in a 15 minute span.

You rolled your eyes and looked for something to fiddle with. I mean, how could it be your fault that you had ADHD? Was it really that wrong that you needed to fiddle with something to concentrate? Snape definitely made it seem like a sin.

You noticed a hangnail on your finger and started to pick on that. Snape could take that away from you. I mean, was he going to cut off your fingers? As you pulled on the hangnail, you felt a little sting and you knew if your bare flesh made contact with even a drop of water, it would burn. This wasn't avoidable either especially since you were in potions. But you could worry about that later. As long as you could concentrate.

"You need to stop doing that. It looks painful. Plus it isn't healthy." Mattheo comments as be places his hand on yours. It's a comforting feeling but you feel uneasy, looking for something else to fiddle with.

"but I can't! I have ADHD."

"There's got to be better ways to cope."

"there's nothing else to fiddle with"

"Here." He slips one of his rings off his fingers and hands it to you.

"are you sure" you ask.

"yes love." He replies.

And so you fiddle with his silver ring the rest of the lesson but find it hard to with him holding one of your hand captive. You wanted to ask to move it, but you didn't want him to feel upset plus you kinda liked the feeling of his warm hand on your freezing cold one.

*＊✿❀　❀✿＊**＊✿❀　❀✿＊**＊✿❀　❀✿＊*

You were excited for the quidditch match, Slytherin against Gryffindor. You walked up to Pansy, Theodore and Blaise, your group of friends, as you spotted then among the crowd which was dripping with anticipation.

As the game started, you found yourself searching for a particular brown, curly haired boy.

As you spotted him, aiming to score, you felt yourself blushing. As he scored half of the crowd cheered in excitement, and the other half groaned in frustration. As you locked eyes with the brunette boy, you caught hun winning at you which made you turn even more red than you already were if that was possible.

The game ended with Slytherin being victorious (which was a first).

After the game you walked up to Mattheo to congratulate him.

"I've never been to a quidditch match before but I heard this was Slytherin's first victory against Gryffindor."

"Guess you are a good luck charm." He smiled at you.

You blushed. Something about that comment felt genuine, like it was more than just a joke.

"Ah, is that so? You were amazing out there by the way."

"Only for you princess." He winked at you. "I assumed you were awestruck by me. I caught you staring." he grinned.

You blushed as you started to fiddle with your hangnail again. You felt a comforting hand on yours. Mattheo's hand.

"Now now love. We talked about this. Use my rings instead."

You felt nice that Mattheo cared about you. You smiled at him, trying to keep your composure. You felt like kissing him right there and then but you didn't.

Your friends walked up to Mattheo and congratulated him for the win, snapping you out of your daydream about the brunette boy who, at this very moment, was holding your hand.

"You could say we had a good luck charm." He winked at you.

You chuckled at the statement. Girlfriend had a better ring to it, but for now you settled for 'A good luck charm.'

#mattheo riddle x you #mattheo riddle fluff #mattheo riddle x reader #mattheoxreader #mattheo riddle #mattheo x y/n #mattheo x you #harry potter #harry potter imagine #mattheo riddle x y/n #mattheo riddle angst #marcus lopez imagine #marcus lopez x reader #marcus lopez arguello #marcus lopez

816 notes · View notes

tsimvkas · 8 months

Text

our life changing moment — mason mount

A/N: hi!! it’s the first time i post a imagine here :) english is not my first language so forgive me for any mistakes. i’d like to thank Sid, the first one to read this and encourage me to post 🥺 hope you all enjoy it! and please feel free to share your thoughts about it with me xx

lil note: i know mason’s number seven is probably bc of beck but i used cristiano just so the teasing would makes sense

word count: 5.7k | masterlist

content: pregnancy, fluff, mild angst, mention of sexual act

Your boyfriend stared at the pregnancy test, stroking your waist while the pair of you waited for the result. You were sitting on the bathroom sink and Mason was comfortable between your legs, your head resting at his shoulder.

You always watch these videos where the woman takes the test all by herself and then comes up with a surprise for the father. A box with baby clothes, a tiny shoe or even a cake with some written at the top. If the test shows that you are in fact pregnant, it would be nice telling Mase that way, but honestly? You were too scared to do it on your own.

“I’m probably ruining your chance to find this out in a cool way” you whispered, gulping.

“What do you mean babe? This is a nice way”

“I should surprise you with the tiniest sneaker in the world and a note. You shouldn’t be the one reading the result? It doesn’t feel right.

“You know Y/N, just because it isn't common in our society to see fathers participating that way it doesn’t mean that it’s wrong. If you’re pregnant then it’s our child. What doesn’t feel right to me is you thinking I should wait for you to tell me instead of us both discovering together. What about you? You take the test all by yourself and then proceeds to figure out nice ways to tell everyone? And who surprises you?”

“Why you always have to be this cute?” you looked up at him feeling your eyes watering.

He is definitely the sweetest boy you have ever met. You both started dating four years ago, being introduced by a friend in common, Sophia, his mate’s girlfriend and your best friend.

Soph presented you both at a club, a Chelsea reunion that she invited you to.

“That’s my bestie, Y/N” she said to Mason, and he grinned, staring at your eyes. “And this is the guy I told you about, bug”

You remember that you wished you could disappear, and the way he smiled at you suggestively just made everything worse.

“What exactly you told her about me, Soph?” he chuckled, finally greeting you with a quick hug, his hand shameless resting on your waist.

You weren't surprised when later that night, at the comfort of your house, you received a flirting text even though he never asked for your number.

Saying yes to a date with him was inevitable. You were so attracted to him. His beauty, the brown hair that was almost on his eyes, the big nose and red lips. The silly jokes, the way he was always smiling at you and the warmth of his hands at your lower back, guiding you.

A first date became two dates, and then he kissed you on the third one.

You never forgot how that kiss felt. The way he was holding you made everything burn and you’re not proud to say that you were totally turned on with just a kiss. Yes, you could’ve ridden him at that moment and he obviously noted.

Since then, you saw all of his sides. Cute Mason, cocky Mason, angry Mason. And you fell in love with every single one of them.

Falling in love with Mason was the funniest and cutest thing that ever happened to you. It was slowly, peaceful. He always made you feel like the most important person in the world, just like he was doing right now.

“Nooo babe, don’t cry” Mason tried not to laugh, knowing how crazy your hormones have been. For him, you didn’t even needed that test.

“Have you seen the result already?” you questioned, trying to keep yourself calm. You always wanted a baby, and that’s something you and Mount had agreed since the beginning of the relationship.

Of course you would love to see a mini version of your boyfriend waking up the pair of you, or a little girl for Mason to be protective about, but right now a pregnancy wasn’t something you were thinking about, which means it was totally unplanned.

“Look at me” Mason said with a soft tone, stroking your chin. You obeyed, staring at his perfect eyes. The way they’re sparkling you didn’t even need an answer. “We’ll be fine, sunshine”

You felt your heart skip a beat. All you could think about was that this couldn’t be happening right now. There’s so many things you wanted to do before being a mom.

A guilty feeling was spreading all over your body. At the same time that you didn’t wanted this to happen right now, it was your baby. You couldn’t think such things about it.

But… it will grow inside of you. And there will be nausea. A lot of pain and messed up hormones. Cries for no reason, weird food combinations. Your body will triple in size. And then, one day, it will have to get out of your belly somehow. And none of the options calms you down.

“Y/N? You need to breathe, babe. Uhum, take a deep breath with me” Mason tried to help you, his fingers tracing circles in your back.

You followed his instructions, and minutes after the initial shock you felt fear.

“I’m not sure I can do this” you whispered in his shoulder, not brave enough to look him in the eyes. When your crying intensified, Mason brought a hand to your head and scratched your scalp gently.

“I can’t tell you what you can or cannot face, love. It’s your body going to change, and it’s not up to me to dictate what you can handle with. What I can tell is that I’ll be there to help you. And that I do believe that you can do this, yeah. In my opinion, you can do anything”

“Can I- I’m sorry, can I have a moment? Alone?”

“Of course you can” his voice was lower and calm and your mind kept saying that you didn’t deserve him.

“I know I wasn’t supposed to react like that and we should be hugging and celebrating but instead you’re comforting me-“

“Y/N, stop using other people's experience as a parameter. We’re not them, ok? You’re allowed to feel the way you’re feeling. It’s a baby, inside of you. It’s a big thing. I’ll clean here and make dinner, just let me know when I can join you again”

You nodded, feeling guilty. It was obvious you weren’t doing this the right way. The father of your kid was right in front of you after discovering he’ll be a dad and all you say to him is that you wanna be alone for a little bit. Sounds selfish.

You walk to your shared bedroom and lay down comfortably under the mattress. You know you will love this baby and have a beautiful family but right now you just need to cry yourself out, mourning the old you. The one without responsibilities over a child.

Mason cleaned the sink and went down to make dinner. He wasn’t mad about your reaction, because he saw it happen at his family once. After Summer, Jaz wasn’t totally ready to be a mom of two, and although the world expects a woman to always feel happy about conceiving a baby, he understands that is not that simple.

He couldn’t lie though — he felt happy. To be a father was reason enough, but to be the father of your children? He couldn’t wait for it.

The pair of you have been in a healthy and strong relationship over the past four years, you saw the worst of him during his last season at Chelsea, moved in with him to Manchester and supported him through the whole transfer situation. He thought that there wasn’t any way he could fell even more for you, but this was proved wrong when he saw the positive test earlier.

Mason was always aware of his own privileges and that’s why he respected the way you felt about being pregnant. While your entire life is about to change, his could still be the same, only with a little addition.

But he is not that kind of man, and if your life is going to change then his life it’s going to change as well.

An hour later, you felt like you had already cried all the water in your body. Missing your man but without energy enough to scream for him, you texted Mase.

When he got upstairs, Mason entered the bedroom slowly. He put the bowl with strawberries on the desk before laying down beside you, his arms reaching your waist.

“Daughter, uh? You’re feeling better?” his voice was soft and he peppered kisses on your shoulder, smiling when you melted against him.

“Yeah” you nodded, “I just needed a second. I’m sorry boo”

“Don’t be. You know that- if you don’t feel ready, you don’t have to go with it. I would never force you into this. Even tho I’m going to do everything I’m capable of, it’s clear that your life will change more than mine for obvious reasons. If you don’t want this for now, I can’t accept that” His voice crackled, and you knew he was doing his best to assure you that it was your decision.

He wanted that baby so much, but there he was, giving up on it if it means that would hurt his girl. Turning in his arms, you stared at him, the big brown eyes filled with unshed tears.

“You’re going to be such a great father. Our baby will be proud to call you dad, Mase. Just the way I’m proud to call you mine”

Finally spilling his own tears, Mason hugged you tightly.

“Sorry” he smiled, embarrassed. The tip of his nose instantly went red, which made you smile too.

“There’s nothing to apologize for. I cried, now it’s your turn. I’m happy, ‘right? You don’t need to feel guilty about wanting this. I want this too” you whispered, and Mason felt free from the biggest weight on earth.

“Yeah? You do?” his eyes lit up, sparkling. You nodded, smiling when Mase hid his face in your neck.

“I want everything life can give me if I can have it with you babe” you scratched his scalp, feeling his arms shivering against the skin of your waist.

“Oh” Mase left out a shaky breath, kissing your collarbone. “I want this so much”

“Well, now we’ll have it. You should prepare yourself for choosing a name” you gently pulled his hair so he would look at you.

“If it’s a boy then can we name him Peter Parker?” he grinned, biting his lower lip. You couldn’t help but laugh, this being such a Mason thing to ask.

“Fine, I’ll choose the name by myself” you giggled, feeling happy and lightweight.

—

“I want to do something special,” Mason told his friend, Ben. “Like, if I wasn’t there, she would do something to tell me about the pregnancy, right? I was thinking about something like this, but she obviously already knows that she’s pregnant.

The pair of them were at a coffee, talking about you. Ben and a few close friends already knew about your pregnancy, that you discovered two weeks ago, and Mason was counting with help to make his plan a reality.

Ben took a sip of his coffee, raising an eyebrow.

“So you’re trying to make a pregnancy announcement… to the woman who is pregnant?” Chilwell frowned, teasing his friend.

“I want to surprise her somehow. But not any kind of surprise, I wanted to be like, pregnancy related” he tried to explain what he’s been thinking off since both of you discovered about the pregnancy.

“You can make a cake. She loves when you cook and put effort into it. And then you can also make a box, like she would’ve made to tell you. A little United shirt with your number, maybe?”

“That’s a good idea. Yeah, I’ll do it” he smiled, picturing you and the baby at Old Trafford. “But I also wanted something to show her that I’m committed, you know? That I’ll do my role as a father properly, that my life is going to change with hers. That I’m not letting her live motherhood alone while I still live manhood.”

“There’s something, actually…” Benjamin smiled.

Hours later, Mason came back home feeling giddy and excited about the future, sliding in bed and holding his world in his arms.

—

After a couple of weeks, when you completed two months, you were totally comfortable with being pregnant. You made your peace with the fact that things are going to be different, your body will change and your routine will never be the same.

From now on, you have a person counting on you for everything, and after the shock you felt joy and happiness about this new chapter of your life with Mason.

Despite the nausea that started really early, you love to be woken up by your boyfriend’s kisses at your not so visible bump but this Saturday was different, and his side of the bed was already empty when you woke up.

You know his game is tomorrow, and you were certainly going, so today he was supposed to have the day off after training yesterday.

You texted him, asking where he went, and got up to start the day. You did your skincare routine before doing your belly routine — something your best friend Lauren advised you about.

Mase showed up when you were moisturizing your belly, sticking his head into the bathroom.

“Oh no, I almost missed my favourite part” he pouted, getting closer to you and kissing your cheek. “Good morning boo, how you feeling today?”

“I’m good” you smiled when his hands replaced yours, massaging your belly. “Craving a chocolate cake with a lot of chocolate, actually”

“You’re always craving a chocolate cake, babe” he shrugged, smirking. “Good for you I brought one today”

“Really?” your eyes lit up.

“But if you want to eat it then you’ll have to do me a favour” he pouted again. “Rashy needs to distract his new girlfriend, that is not a proper girlfriend yet, and I don’t know how to do this”

“Is that girl we met last game? I could ask her to go shopping with me, see baby stuff. We changed numbers already so I don’t think will be weird”

“Could you do that? I wanna help him so he can feel more confidence in our friendship, you know?” he pouted once more and your heart melted at how cute he is.

“Of course I can”

“Thank you boo, I love you” he hugged you tightly, sniffing your perfume.

“I love you more”

“No you don’t, but I’ll let you think you do because they say it’s a bad thing arguing with beauty pregnant ladies”

“No one says that, Mase” you giggled, turning to stare at him. “Why did I woke up alone, uh?

“Groceries shopping” was his short answer before peppering kisses at your jaw.

When you ended your morning routine, Mase was waiting for you downstairs with your favourite breakfast, avocado toast and orange juice.

The pair of you ate together, talking about some of Mase’s new friends, how things were going so far at the new club and what he expected for the next game.

Then, while he washed the dishes, you texted Marcus’ new girlfriend. She is a sweet girl and knows that you don't have actual friends in Manchester yet, so she quickly accepted going to the mall with you.

When she popped up hours later to pick you, Mase helped you put on his jacket, your favourite one to wear, and kissed your temple.

“I‘ll see if Rashy needs help with his plan, text me when you girls decide to come back home?”

“Yes sir, I’ll let you know” you giggled, kissing him.

“Thank you” Mase murmured, sliding his credit card into your jeans pocket, making you roll your eyes.

—

Shopping with Anne was really, really nice. She talked about Marcus, you talked about Mase, the pair of you had dinner together and she helped you a lot with baby clothes and colour palette for the room.

After a huge pistachio ice cream, you yawned so loud that Anne chuckled.

“Ugh, sorry” you smiled, reaching for your phone to check what time is it. “We kinda have a bedtime routine, and I’m late”

“Mason is probably cursing me right now” she smiled back. “C’mon, I’ll drop you home”

Anne drove to your house whilst both of you screamed Taylor Swift’s lyrics. The feeling of finding a new friend it’s warm and nice, and you are really happy. It was a great day.

When she parked in front of your house, you frowned wondering why the lights were off. Mason saw your message half an hour ago, and you thought that maybe he forgot to let one of the lights on so you wouldn’t stumble.

Saying goodbye to Anne, you jumped out of her car and walked to your door. Everything was silent, and you walked in cautiously.

“Babe?” you entered your house, looking for the light switch. “Mase, are you home?”

A few steps later you finally found it, turning the living room light on.

“Surprise!” Mason shouted, almost making your heart stop. He was standing in the middle of the living room with balloons and a red cake, smiling the most beautiful smile you’ve ever seen.

“What’s going on? I forgot my birthday?” you waited for more people to come out, but it was just your boy with his oversized hoodie and a proud smile.

“No, silly. It’s a pregnancy surprise!” he said proudly. You frowned, but your smile couldn’t be held.

“But I don’t know I’m pregnant already?” you teased him, getting closer. Mason left the cake on the coffee table, waiting for you with open arms. When you were close enough, he hugged you, stroking your back.

“Well yes, but I wanted to do something nice for you” he smirked. There’s no way this man could be better to you.

“That’s cute Mase, thank you”

“Anything for my girls” he kissed your forehead, pulling away just to catch a black box at the table. “And here, a present”

Your heart skipped a beat. For some reason, you both seem to be sure it’s a girl. You would love to see the love of your life being a girl’s dad, even though the idea of a mini him lot you up as well.

“Babe! You didn’t had to!” you gave him a kiss before taking the box to the sofa with you. Mason followed you, sitting behind you and settling you between his legs.

“I know but I think it’s so cute” he kissed your neck and your body shivered.

When you opened the box, a note on the top said “to my favourite girl on earth. you’re going to be the best mom england has ever seen. i can’t wait to be with you both for the rest of my life”

Feeling your eyes watering already, you blamed your hormones and took the present out of the box. You couldn’t hold back the tears when you realized that you were staring at a mini United shirt, with “Baby Mount” written behind, above your man’s number.

“She’ll be our lucky charm” he whispered, tightening his touch on your waist whilst the pair of you stared at the shirt.

“This is adorable, Mase” you pouted, your heart aching in adoration.

“You really liked it?” he asked shyly and almost insecure. You turned around to face him, finding the vulnerability kind of adorable.

“Of course I did. She’ll be very proud to flaunt your last name, babe” you stroked his chin, kissing the tip of his nose.

“Yeah? And would you?” he raised his eyebrows, biting his lower lip. “Would you be very proud to boast about my last name?”

“I mean, it’s a beautiful name” you smiled softly, not even preparing yourself for what was coming next.

Mason laid his head on your shoulder, kissing your neck.

“Take it then” he whispered, smiling against your skin when he heard you gasping. “Marry me, babe”

“God, Mase” you started to cry all over again. “Are you sure?”

“Why wouldn’t I? You’re it for me. We already live together, we kinda do act like a married couple. And, we’re having a baby. I know we had that conversation once and that you think marriage is just signing papers and a couple can survive without ever being married-“

You interrupted him, cupping his face and handing out kisses everywhere your lips could reach.

“Yeah I used to think like that, but not about marrying you. We’re not going to just sign a paper, are we?” you smiled at him. “We’re going to promise our souls to each other. Of course I already promised mine to yours, but I guess a ceremony would be nice. I want your last name so bad”

“I want you to be my wife so bad” he murmured, bringing you to his lap. “I wish I could’ve prepared a better proposal… how do you wanna do this? Now, or with a bigger bump? Or when the baby is born?”

“It was perfect this way, yeah? And we can think about the details tomorrow” you kissed his forehead, adjusting yourself on top of him. “Can we go upstairs?”

“You’re feeling well?” he stared at your face, looking for any signals that something may be wrong.

“I’m feeling like you could show me how much you want to be my husband” you grinned mischievously, sinking your fingers into his hair.

“Oh, Mrs. Mount, you have no idea what you just asked for” he kissed you with pure love and devotion. “But first”

Reaching into his hoodie pocket, Mason picked up a tiny box and opened up between your bodies, showing you the most beautiful engagement ring to ever exist.

“Boo…” you gasped, in shock.

Your fiancé took the ring and asked for your hand, slipping it through your finger, kissing your hand before taking his to your bum, pulling you closer.

“Now I can give you what you want” he got up with you in his arms, not being able to keep his mouth out of you and kissing your shoulder.

You felt overwhelmed by the thought of making love with Mase while using the ring he brought to you when he wasn’t even sure you would say yes, both of you having a conversation about your unwillingness to marry a while ago.

“You’ll take care of me?” you pouted dramatically, already knowing he always does.

“Mmhmm, how you want it?” he asked gently, entering your shared bedroom.

“I think I’m feeling emotionally sensitive” you kept your pout, stroking his scalp.

“Slow then” he laid you in bed, kissing your lips whilst you tried to hold a smile.

Mason took care of you, indeed, and you’re sure you’ll never get used to the way he touches you, like you were everything he needs to stay breathing.

Whether on wild nights or the ones like tonight, calm and gentle, he would always be able to make you feel good.

—

Your wedding was the most perfect day you ever lived. It was Mason’s priority to keep it private and intimate, with your closest friends and family only.

The ceremony was at an isolated beach, surrounded by rocks that made it difficult to see what was happening there. It was pretty quick as well, and the pair of you said your vows with a beautiful and pinky sunset.

Different than what your mother who traveled from Spain to participate thought, your 4-months-old bump wasn’t a problem. You were in fact a little bit worried since your baby was growing so slowly, but this made it possible for you to wear the dress of your dreams and still look good on it.

During the preparation month Mason was always telling you that you would’ve been perfect even if your bump was higher, but you knew it wouldn’t be the same to you. You wanted to live this as the old you, not the mother yet.

You also had plenty of conversations about it with your therapist, and she validated your feelings. “It doesn’t have to be two separated persons, even though I understand you, but maybe it could be easier for you if you think about it just like two different phases for the same person”. You’ve been trying, really.

You were nervous at the ceremony, but Sophia was there as your bridesmaid and made sure everything went really perfect. Mase’s best man was a hard choice for him, but at the end of the day his heart would always choose Declan. Kai wasn’t mad about it, even helping Dec when he needed it.

Your man’s vows were beautiful, and you cried the whole time. Yours were pretty good as well, but nothing like what you’ve heard from him. His words, his choked tone of voice and his stubborn tears even though he was smiling big made the moment absurdly magical.

The wedding party was also intimate, but Mason invited the rest of Chelsea’s and United’s players that weren’t close enough to make it to the ceremony, besides some of his friends from another’s club or league.

And it was pretty insane — you didn’t drink anything, for obvious reasons, but enjoyed the party a lot. The pair of you had your first dance to ‘daylight’, by Taylor Swift, and you couldn’t be happier once you had dedicated all of her love songs to him at some point of your relationship.

Mason was incredibly goofy after a few drinks, dancing to every song and climbing on his friends back. You couldn’t hold your laugh every time he looked at you and tried to wink, but closing both eyes instead without realizing.

After a lot of songs, drinks and pictures, you were really tired but accomplished.

“Wanna go home, wifey?” Mason whispered in your ear, worried about your tiredness.

“You’re done already?”

“Ben is too drunk to dance and Rashy is almost proposing after so many vodka shots” he laughed, holding your waist tightly.

“And you’re ok, boo?” you asked gently, cupping his face. His eyes lighted up looking at you and he nodded, peppering kisses to your face.

“You know I’d never get too drunk to take care of my babies” he murmured. “Let’s go home please? Our day was perfect but I’m so tired, I want to wear cute pyjamas and cuddle my wife all night”

You nodded, kissing his lips and saying goodbye to those still at the party before looking for Mason’s Rover at the parking lot.

Thanks to your bridesmaid, you were using a comfortable pair of Nike shoes since the party started, and given your husband’s level of alcohol you were the one driving the mini truck that he used to call his car.

Once you got home, Mase was almost sober again. He helped you out of the car and upstairs, unzipping your beautiful dress and putting you in a warm pyjama before changing his own clothes.

The pair of you went to the bathroom, brushing your teeth together. Putting you in bed, your husband went downstairs to make you both a cup of tea that you drank together.

Collecting the empty cups and taking them both to the kitchen, Mason came running back to you — and his comfortable bed. He snuggled in your arms, sighing in contentment.

You both already discussed your honeymoon, and you both decided to travel on his vacation, in a few months, since you’re only marrying now due to your pregnancy, forced to do it during the week. He didn’t said to where, and you spent half an hour trying to extract the information from him. Unsuccessfully.

After a few hours chatting about the day and how happy the pair of you were, Mase yawned loudly, leaning closer to your body.

“You need to rest, baby. We were kinda irresponsible…”

“I wouldn’t change a thing. I’m so happy your last name is finally Mount” he whimpered like a child. “Even tho I’ll be a zombie at training this week”

“Shut up” you laughed, scratching his scalp. “What about your international friends?”

“Uhm some of them paid a small fine for missing training” he chuckled.

You know they have money, a lot of money, but you were still impressed that so many of them could make it to your wedding despite the hard conditions.

“Oh my God” you bursted into laughs. “We were irresponsible. A lot”

“And it was worthy” he nuzzled your neck with his nose, and you could feel his body getting heavier as weariness took over him.

You felt your heart flip-flop and your cheeks went red, just like you were fifteen and flirting with your crush. “Yeah?”

“Yeah” he whispered, tucking his head into your neck. “I couldn’t wait any longer to be your husband”

“Impatient” you teased. Everything Mason has said that night had you feeling like you could explode.

“I know we have eternity together but c‘mon , I have anxiety issues” he grunted. “Can’t wait to make you the happiest wife to ever exist”

“You already do that, Mase” you continued to scratch his scalp, your eyes watering at his words.

You could feel his sleepy smile against the skin of your neck, and Mason yawned lazily.

Leaning closer against your body, your husband murmured how much he loves you before falling asleep.

You closed your eyes, smiling. This was everything you ever prayed for.

—

“You’re doing what?” you gasped. The pair of you were on the couch, you in his lap with one leg on each side of his body.

It wasn’t the most comfortable position, since you’re about seven months now, but you were showing their little kicks to Mason when he said he was staying at home for a bit after you gave birth.

“Ben had the idea months ago and I just loved it” Mason said calmly, scratching your belly. “And the baby will love it too, right bubba?”

“Of course he had the idea Mase, this means you’ll be off the pitch for weeks and since you’re better than him he won’t need to worry about you beating his ass at Old Trafford since you’re going to miss the game against Chelsea” you said in just one breath.

“Uhmmm I didn’t think about it but never mind, I’m doing it” he scoffed the hair out of your face. “Paternity leave existes for a reason. I need time to adapt to my new routine just like you. The couple first months are pretty hard and you’ll need me to do my part. I would say you’ll need help but I’m not just a help, I’m your husband. And the father.”

“Alright. Guess if my life is going to change then yours are too?”

“Exactly. If you need time to take care of our baby, recover and adjust your routine, so do I. In fact, you need me to take time to take care of our baby so you can recover. Yep, no discussing it.” he tickled your waist, stealing a kiss when you smiled bigger.

“Fine. But hear me: Ben is scared as fuck about facing you at your new home”

Mason giggled, your words always giving him more confidence about how he’s doing at Manny.

“Benji is as good as me, boo. You know that. He’s the vice captain for a reason” he defended his best mate. They would always do that, defend each other, and you think it’s really cute. Even though you know Mason is better, you love Ben. Is not like he is shitty or something.

“Yeah yeah, if you say so” you smiled, cupping his face. “Have you thought about where you want bubba to be born? Manchester? London?”

“I was thinking about it yeah and- I mean, you don’t have to want this but I was just you know, thinking and…” he smiled shyly. “It wouldn’t be nice if the baby was born in your city?”

“Masey” you whimpered, your heart skipping a beat. “You’re being serious?”

“Totally“ Mase kissed the tip of your nose, shrugging. “We already live here, you are surrounded by my culture, friends and family and I think it would be meaningful to you. It’s a beautiful place, with a nice weather and culture as well and since they’re being born here, the nationality will connect them with your country”

“Yeah? And you’ll let them cheer for Barça?” you teased him.

“No. Absolutely not. But they can like Messi.” he smirked, peppering soft kisses on your neck.

“I’ll tell this to the owner of the seven on your back” you giggled, cupping his face so he was looking at you again.

“I’m the owner now” Mason closed his eyes, relaxing with your touch before opening them and staring at your soul. “Wait- if it’s a boy we can call him Cristiano Ronaldo!”

“No. Absolutely not” you rolled your eyes, giggling when your man squeezed your body against his. “If it’s a girl we could call her Winter and she would match Summ”

“Yeah yeah, sure. I’ll love to spend some time making Autumn and Spring with you” Mason dipped his head, capturing your lips in a soft kiss, holding you even tighter when you both needed air. “I love you, boo. Both of you.”

Words he had said a thousand times before, but you would never get used to it. The new addition only giving your heart more reasons to stop completely.

“We love you more, Mase.” you smiled, gasping when your little baby kicked. “See? They agree.”

Mason smiled, massaging your belly and talking with the baby. The pair of you passed the next few hours like this, in your own bubble, and you couldn’t be happier.

You have your own family now. It’s yours, and it's beautiful.

#✧･ﾟ: *✧ tsimvkas — works #mason mount x y/n #mason mount angst #mason mount fluffy #mason mount x reader #mason mount fics #football fanfics

624 notes · View notes

asarajaa · 3 days

Note

can I get some headcanons about jealous Kenma?? Thank you!!

Sure! Hope you like it <3!

Warnings: gn!reader Words: 565 Disclaimer: English isn't my first language so I apologise for any mistakes or misunderstandings!

Jelous Kenma hcs

₊˚ෆ I don't think Kenma is the jelousy type tbh.

₊˚ෆ But sometimes he has insecurities because, look at you, how is it that you-a beautiful, incredible, gorgeous (and the list goes on) person- ended up with a guy like him?

₊˚ෆ The boy thinks that you're out of his league and that he's so lucky to have you.

₊˚ෆ However, if you're ignoring him, well, that's different.

₊˚ෆ At first, he doesn't notice beacuse, why would you ignore him?

₊˚ෆ But once he does- proceed with caution.

₊˚ෆ This boy will make anything to caught your attention.

₊˚ෆ There was this time when you decided to try videogames, but no Kenmas videogames, no, otome videogames.

You were just chilling in your boyfriends bed, scrolling through social media while your boyfriend was playing in his computer until you saw this new viral otome game. In your boredom, you decided to give it a try and- omg

What is this thing and where was it your whole life???

The hours went by and you were just giggling and moving while playing with your phone. After failing the mission for the 34th time in a row, Kenma decided to have a little break.

Kenma lay down on his bed only to find you 100% focused on your phone. At first, he though you were only watching a video and when the video's over you'll give him attention.

With that in mind, he waited patiently on the other side of his bed for you to notice him. But when the minutes went by and you weren't paying him any attention, he though he had enough.

"Uhm, babe? What are you watching?" he asked calmly, with no signs that he wanted your attention because he's not attention starved.

(Oh, but he is)

You shuddered and give a small jump "Kenma? I didn't notice you" you said while you returned your gaze back to the game, his brow furrowing. "What were you saying?" you asked.

"I asked you what were you watching" he repetead himself.

"Actually, I'm talking to a guy of this ne- oh my god" you let out a giggle while your fingertips were tapping.

His brow furrowed more because who were you talking to and why was he more important than him, your boyfriend?

"A guy? I know him?" he asked, moving closer to you.

"I don't think so?" you chuckle imagine your boyfriend playing the otome game "His name is Zach, he's 24 and has electric blue eyes with baby blue hair" you gave him hints, hoping that he'd hear of him since he's the main male lead of the game.

"Who on this earth has baby blue hair' Like-"

"Shoyo has orange hair."

"..."

"...Do you want me to dye my hair baby blue?"

"Baby- What?" you asked shocked, what on earth was he talking a- oh.

Oh.

"Are you jelous?" you were teasing him.

"..."

" You know I'm p-playing an otome-game, r-right?" you were trying your best to not laugh but his cute red face was not helping.

He quietly gets up of the bed and started walking towards his computer.

Now you were laughing.

"B-Baby! Wait! I didn't mean to but-"

₊˚ෆ He thinks that's the most embarassed time he's ever been.

₊˚ෆ Kenma will start playing videogames again like nothing happend.

₊˚ෆ At the end, you had to cuddle with him and explain him all the situation, while you tried your best to not laugh.

Thank you all for sending request! I'm so happy to do them!

Please, tell me your opn about this one, I really appreciate if you guys comment on how can I improve <3

26/04/24

#haikyuu x reader #haikyuu #hq #hq x reader #kozume kenma #kenma x reader #haikyuu kozume #please tell me you opn in the comments #asarajas works #asarajas works (haikyuu)#anime fanfic #send requests

138 notes · View notes

iovebarca · 6 days

Note

Pedri being very clingy and doesn‘t want to let her go to work

Wrapped In Love - Pedri

Authors note: I hope I did your request justice! 🫶

Warnings: incorrect grammar (probably), my first language isn't english so if you notice any mistakes please tell me, just fluff!

WC: 700+

Summary: Pedri convinces his partner to skip work, leading to a day of pampering and bonding. As they indulge in massages and bubble baths, they deepen their connection, reaffirming their love.

The morning light filters through the curtains, painting patterns of gold across the room as you awaken to the soft warmth enveloping you. Blinking away the remnants of sleep, you find yourself nestled in Pedri's arms, his embrace tight and comforting.

"Buenos días, mi vida." he whispers, his voice a gentle murmur against your ear.

"Good morning, mi amor," you reply, smiling at the sight of him, his tousled hair and sleepy eyes making your heart swell with affection.

As you attempt to rise, Pedri tightens his hold, a playful pout forming on his lips. "Do you really have to leave for work today?"

You chuckle softly, running your fingers through his hair. "Yes, bebé, I do. But don't worry, I'll be back before you even realize I'm gone."

Pedri's pout deepens, and he buries his face in the crook of your neck, his arms tightening around you. "But I'll miss you so much. Can't you just stay here with me?"

Your heart melts at his sweet words. With a tender touch, you lift his chin, meeting his gaze. "I wish I could, mi vida. But duty calls, and I must answer. I promise I'll return to you soon."

Pedri's pout deepens, and he pulls you closer, his eyes pleading. "But I don't want you to go. Can't you stay with me?"

Your heart melts at his plea. With a gentle touch, you lift his chin, meeting his gaze. "I wish I could, Pedri. But you know how important my job is. I promise I'll make it up to you when I get back."

Pedri's face brightens at your words, and he leans in for a kiss, savoring the moment. But as you begin to extricate yourself from his embrace, he tightens his hold, a determined look in his eyes.

"Please, mi amor," he whispers, his voice filled with longing. "Stay with me. We can spend the day together, just you and me. I'll make breakfast, we can watch movies, and cuddle all day. Please?"

You're torn, knowing how much Pedri craves your presence. But duty calls, and you can't ignore your responsibilities. Still, the pleading look in his eyes tugs at your heartstrings, and you find yourself hesitating.

"Alright, Pedri," you say, your voice filled with love. "One day together. But only because I can't resist you."

Pedri's face lights up with joy, and he pulls you close, showering you with kisses. "Gracias, mi amor! You won't regret it, I promise."

And as you settle back into bed, wrapped in each other's arms, you know that today will be a day filled with love, laughter, and cherished moments with the one who holds your heart.

As the morning sun bathes the room in a golden glow, Pedri and their partner decide to indulge in a day of pampering and relaxation. They gather fluffy towels, scented oils, and candles, creating an atmosphere of tranquility and intimacy.

Pedri takes the lead, guiding their partner to the cozy living room where plush cushions await. With gentle hands, Pedri begins to knead away the tension from their partner's shoulders, each stroke infused with love and care. Their partner sighs in contentment, melting into the comforting touch, feeling cherished and adored.

In return, their partner insists on returning the favor. With soft music playing in the background, they switch roles, their skilled hands working magic on Pedri's tired muscles. Pedri closes their eyes, surrendering to the sensation, feeling the stress of the outside world melt away with each caress.

After the massages, they move to the bathroom, where a luxurious bubble bath awaits. They fill the tub with warm, fragrant water, and sink into its depths, letting the soothing bubbles envelop them in a cocoon of relaxation. They share laughter and tender whispers, lost in the moment and in each other's company.

As they emerge from the bath, refreshed and rejuvenated, they take turns applying facials, nourishing their skin with creamy masks and serums. They giggle as they try to keep straight faces while the masks work their magic, sharing secrets and dreams as they wait for the products to dry.

Wrapped in fluffy robes, they snuggle on the couch, basking in the afterglow of their pampering session. They exchange loving glances and gentle kisses, feeling closer than ever before. In this moment of shared intimacy and self-care, they realize just how much they mean to each other, and how important it is to nurture their relationship.

As the day draws to a close, they drift off to sleep, wrapped in each other's arms, hearts full of love and gratitude.

#pedri #pedri fluff #pedri fanfic #pedri imagine #pedri x reader #pedri gonzalez #fc barcelona #pedri one shot

122 notes · View notes

witchmaximoff · 3 months

Text

Unspoken Heart

Pairing: Wanda Maximoff x F!Reader (Platonic) Wanda Maximoff x Vision

Summary: Where Y/N grapples with unrequited feelings for her friend Wanda. Despite her love being unreciprocated, Y/N selflessly prioritizes Wanda's happiness, willing to make sacrifices to ensure her well-being.

Warnings: Unrequited love, friendzone, angst, death, no happy ending.

Word count: 1097

NOTE: This is my first time writing something so I wanted to try, but English isn't my first language. I apologize for any mistakes. Please give me some feedback, it might encourage me to do more if you like it 🌹

Suddenly, the bell above the door chimes, and in walks Wanda Maximoff, her presence commanding attention even in a crowded room. Your heart skips a beat as she spots you and makes her way over, a warm smile gracing her lips.

You find yourself in the bustling city of New York, where the chaos of everyday life seems to fade away as you step into a quaint little cafe. Sitting alone at a table near the window, you watch the rain drizzle down outside, lost in your thoughts.

"Hey, Y/N," she greets you, pulling out a chair and sitting across from you. "Mind if I join you?" You nod eagerly, trying to contain the butterflies in your stomach as she settles in. The two of you have been friends for years, but lately, your feelings for Wanda have been anything but platonic.

As you chat about mundane things, you can't help but steal glances at her, admiring the way the soft light of the cafe accentuates her features. But deep down, you know that she only sees you as a friend, nothing more.

The conversation turns to deeper topics, and you find yourself opening up to Wanda about your hopes, your dreams, and your fears. She listens intently, her empathy and understanding washing over you like a warm embrace.

But as the night wears on and the cafe begins to empty out, a heavy silence settles between you. You can feel the weight of your unspoken words hanging in the air, the truth of your unrequited love threatening to spill out.

Finally, unable to bear it any longer, you gather your courage and speak up, your voice barely above a whisper. "Wanda, there's something I need to tell you..."

But before you can finish, Wanda reaches across the table and gently places her hand on yours, her touch sending shivers down your spine. "Y/N," she says softly, her eyes searching yours, "I cherish our friendship more than anything. You mean the world to me."

Your heart sinks at her words, the sting of rejection cutting deep. You force a smile, masking the pain behind it as you nod, pretending that her friendship is enough.

But as you watch her leave the cafe, the rain still falling outside, you can't help but wonder what could have been if only she felt the same way.

As you step out into the rain-soaked streets, the cool droplets patter against your skin, mirroring the tumultuous emotions swirling within you. Each raindrop feels like a tiny reminder of the tears you've been holding back, the ache in your chest growing heavier with each step.

The neon lights of the city blur through the mist, casting an eerie glow on the pavement below as you walk aimlessly, lost in your thoughts. The sound of distant thunder echoes in the night, a somber symphony that matches the rhythm of your breaking heart.

You can't help but replay the conversation with Wanda over and over in your mind, each word a painful reminder of the unrequited love that weighs you down. The knowledge that she will never feel the same way gnaws at you, tearing at your soul with relentless persistence.

But as you trudge through the rain-soaked streets, you find solace in the solitude, the emptiness of the night offering a fleeting sense of comfort. You know that admitting your true feelings to Wanda would only lead to heartache, so you choose to keep them locked away, hidden beneath a facade of friendship.

Despite the ache in your chest and the loneliness that threatens to consume you, you cling to the hope that one day, you'll find peace in loving Wanda from afar. For now, all you can do is embrace the rain, letting it wash away the pain as you navigate the stormy seas of unrequited love.

The rain continues to fall, a silent witness to the unspoken heartache that lingers in the air, a poignant reminder of the sacrifices we make in the name of love.

After walking for a long time in the raining streets Y/N go back to the compound, as you enter your clothes clinging to your skin and your hair dripping with rainwater, you feel a sense of exhaustion wash over you. Despite the late hour and the weariness that weighs heavy on your shoulders, you can't shake the feeling of unease that gnaws at your gut.

Dragging yourself towards the kitchen, you hope to find some semblance of comfort in the familiar surroundings of the Avengers' home. But as you approach the entrance, your heart clenches painfully in your chest at the sight that greets you.

There, standing in the warm glow of the kitchen lights, is Wanda, her laughter ringing out like music in the stillness of the night. But it's not her laughter that catches your attention, it's the way she's leaning in close to Vision, their bodies almost touching as they engage in animated conversation.

A pang of jealousy shoots through you like a bolt of lightning, your breath catching in your throat as you watch them interact. The intimacy between them is palpable, a stark contrast to the platonic bond you share with Wanda, and it only serves to deepen the ache in your heart.

For a moment, you're frozen in place, unable to tear your eyes away from the scene unfolding before you. Every word they exchange feels like a dagger to your heart, a painful reminder of the love that will forever be out of reach.

But as the reality of the situation sinks in, you realize that you can't bear to witness their closeness any longer. With a heavy sigh, you turn away, retreating into the shadows of the compound, your heart heavy with sorrow.

As you make your way to your room, the sound of their laughter echoing in your ears, you can't help but wonder if there will ever come a day when you can look at Wanda and Vision together without feeling the sting of your broken heart.

_______________________________________________

As the Avengers embark on a mission, Y/N finds herself engulfed in a whirlwind of emotions. The weight of their unrequited love for Wanda weighs heavy on their heart, threatening to consume them with each passing second, minute and day.

As the chaos of battle unfolds, Y/N's heart races with a mixture of fear, hurt and desperation. Amidst the chaos of battle, Y/N's thoughts are a jumbled mess, her focus fractured by the relentless barrage of her own inner turmoil. She struggles to keep up with their teammates, her mind constantly drifting back to Wanda and the pain that her presence brings.

In a moment she watches in horror as Vision, the object of Wanda's affections, finds himself in mortal peril. Despite the agony of her rejected love for Wanda, a fierce determination takes hold of Y/N as she rushes to his aid.

Ignoring the danger that surrounds her, Y/N throws herself into the fray, determined to shield Vision from harm at any cost. With every blow she takes, her love for Wanda burns bright in her heart, driving her forward with an intensity she never knew she possessed.

But as the battle reaches its climax, Y/N finds herself facing down an enemy she cannot defeat. With a sense of grim resignation, she gets ready to make the ultimate sacrifice, knowing that it may be the only way to save Vision and the rest of the team.

In a moment of selfless bravery, Y/N throws herself in front of Vision, taking the full force of the enemy's attack. Pain courses through her body like fire, but amidst the agony, she feels a sense of peace knowing that she has protected the one Wanda loves most.

As Y/N lie on the ground, her strength fading with each passing moment, she hears Wanda's anguished cries as she rushes to Y/N's side. Tears blur your vision as you look up at her, your voice barely a whisper as you speak the words that have been weighing heavy on your heart.

"You love him, don't you?" you say, your voice filled with a mixture of sadness and resignation. "I'll do everything to make you happy even if it means giving my life for the person you love, even if that person isn't me"

As Y/N lies in Wanda's arms, their strength waning with each passing moment, she can feel the weight of Wanda's guilt pressing down on her like a leaden blanket. Through the haze of pain and exhaustion, she can see the torment etched on Wanda's face, the anguish in her eyes mirroring the turmoil of her soul.

"Why did you do this?" Wanda whispers, her voice trembling with emotion. "Why would you sacrifice yourself for me, for him?"

Y/N's smile is bittersweet as she gaze up at Wanda, her heart heavy with the knowledge of the pain they have caused. "Because I love you," you reply softly, your words a whispered confession borne of a love that knows no bounds.

Wanda's breath catches in her throat at the sincerity in your voice, her heart breaking anew at the realization of the depth of their feelings. She cradles you closer to her chest, her fingers trembling as she brushes away the tears that stain your cheeks.

"But why?" she whispers, her voice choked with tears. "Why would you give up everything for someone who can never love you back?"

Your smile falters for a moment as you struggle to find the words to explain the unexplainable. But then, as you feel the physical pain of your sacrifice gnawing at your body, you feel the relief of your emotional pain fill your broken heart.

"Because," you whisper, your voice barely a whisper against the backdrop of chaos and despair. "Because for just a moment, I could be the hero you needed, even if it meant sacrificing everything I had."

And with those final words, Y/N's smile fades, her eyes fluttering closed as she surrender to the darkness that threatens to consume her. But even as she slips away, she feels a sense of peace, knowing that she has finally found release from the burden of the unrequited love that has haunted her for so long.

And as Wanda holds you close, her heart heavy with grief and regret, she knows that she will carry the weight of Y/N's sacrifice with her for the rest of her days, a constant reminder of the love that was given so freely, even in the face of impossible odds.

#wanda maximoff #wanda x reader #wanda x you #wandavision #wanda maxmoff x y/n #wanda marvel #wanda maximoff x reader #wanda maximoff x you #unrequited love #angst #angst with a sad ending #angst with no happy ending #wanda x vision #wanda maxmoff x female reader #marvel mcu #wanda mcu #wanda x y/n

169 notes · View notes

praisethesuuun · 1 year

Note

May i ask for a Shiva NSFW alphabet ?👀

I tried my best, I swear! As always, english isn't my first language, so I'm sorry for any mistakes

SHIVA: NSFW ALPHABET

A: aftercare <what they're like after sex>

Shiva isn't really the best at aftercare. He falls asleep pretty quickly, so his wives are usually the ones that take care of you. They'll wash you up, give you water and then you'll all curl up against your husband.

B: body part <their favourite body part on them and you>

I think we all know what's coming...he literally has FOUR ARMS. How can he not like them? He can finger you while spanking your ass, and meanwhile he will hold you close to him whispering sweet nothings in your ear all night long. Shiva loves your tiddies, they're so soft! Sometimes he falls asleep between them.

C: cum <anything to do with it, really>

Shiva likes to cum in your mouth, especially when you struggle trying to swallow everything. Also, look at him while you do it, he loves it.

D: dirty secret <a dirty secret of theirs>

He often thinks about calling Rudra over: it could be interesting to see how you would manage to survive with the two of them. Shiva is not ashamed of his friend, but if you don't feel comfortable, then they will stop.

E: experience <how experienced are they>

He's pretty much experienced, he has three wives after all (and he can keep up with all of them, at the same time).

F: favourite position <self-explanatory>

Doggy style, without doubt. In this position, Shiva can hold you by the hips, touch your ass, caress your soft skin...it's like heaven to him.

G: goofy <would they use humor in the moment?>

Oh boy, he's very goofy. He isn't serious AT ALL. He will act like a brat, teasing you like there's no tomorrow and laugh when you can't keep up with him anymore.

H: hair <how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the courtains?>

The carpet match the courtains and it's very hairy. Shiva doesn't think about shaving that much, even if Parvati reminds him to do that every now and then.

He never listen anyway.

I: intimacy <are they romantic in the moment or they do not care?>

Shiva's very romantic, you will remember every night you spend with him. He will worship your body, call you beautiful, while his eyes shine under the moonlight.

J: jack off <...self-explanatory part 2>

Oh yeah, he does. Let me explain: when you are busy, he knows better than bother you. Shiva will complain for a bit before giving up and walking away angrily, with the intent of finding the nearest bathroom.

K: kinks <their kinks>

Please, I'm begging you, praise him constantly. Tell him how good he's making you feel, call his name when you're close, he has to hear you scream it. Oh, and don't forget to call him daddy!

L: location <where they usually do the do>

You don't necessarily do it in the bedroom. In his temple you literally fucked everywhere, plus it's not uncommon for him to get horny while you two are resting under a tree or watching a beautiful sunset.

M: motivation <what turns them on>

Watching you dance: the way your hips move in time, your tits bouncing at every step and the smile you have while feeling his eyes on you. You're gonna make him crazy.

N: no <things they refuse to do>

I feel like Shiva doesn't like degrading you. He's more the "I'm gonna worship every part of you" guy. This good boy could never insult you, it's against his moral code.

O: oral <do they like giving or receiving?>

Shiva loves giving and you can't change my mind. The sweet moans you make while he eats you out are like music for his ears, he could cum at any time just by hearing your whimpers.

P: pace <are they slow and sensual or fast and rough>

It depends on the day and on his mood. When he's stressed by the requests of the other gods, then you better be prepared 'cause he's gonna be ROUGH; but usually, Shiva's pretty sensual and prefers to take it nice and slow.

Q: quickie <would they fuck you for five minutes or wait until you wait home?>

Of course, he loves quickies, especially when he takes you to a boring meeting and wants to spice up the mood a little.

R: risk <...DUH>

Shiva doesn't have problems with taking them, he's always open to try out new things. But don't peg him, it's the only thing he feels unsure about.

S: stamina <how long can they last?>

He has TOO MUCH energy. Shiva will stop only when he sees you can barely stay awake. You passed out from pleasure a couple of times, but he always stayed beside you, making sure it wasn't something serious.

T: toys <do they own any? do they use them?>

You two only own them because the other gods (aka Rudra, and Indra, sometimes) find it funny to prank you by giving them to you as a birthday present.

U: unfair <how much they like to tease>

A lot, Shiva lives to tease you. He won't stop even for a second, refusing to give you his cock or stopping his movements when you're about to cum.

V: volume <are they asking for a noise complaint, or are they quiet?>

He has no shame, he isn't quiet at all. Dirty talk is a must: when you two are screwing around, you always need to tell him to lower his voice.

W: wild card <a random headcanon☆>

At first, he was really nervous about having sex with you. He didn't know if you felt at ease with his wives in the same bad; in the end, you were enjoying their company more than his-

X: x-ray <what to they look like under there?>

Shiva's dick is slightly bigger than the average and it's very hairy down there. The tip is #b284c4.

Y: yearning <are they in the mood to fuck or are they tame?>

He's very horny. A lot. That's it.

Z: zzz <how quickly they fall asleep afterwards>

Shiva falls asleep so fast that, the first time you had sex, you didn't even know what to do. He tries to stay awake, but he just can't... please, forgive him.

#request rules #request #record of ragnarok headcanons #record of ragnarok smut #record of ragnarok #record of ragnarok x reader #shuumatsu no valkyrie x reader #shuumatsu no valkyrie headcanons #shuumatsu no valkyrie #ror x reader #ror x you #snv x reader #snv x you #snv x y/n #record of ragnarok shiva #ror smut #ror shiva #snv smut #snv shiva

688 notes · View notes

literaryavenger · 5 months

Text

Broken - part 3

Summary: You find Bucky having a panic attack and do your best to help him.

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Female Reader

Warnings: Minimal use of Y/N. Panic attack. Innocent and broken Bucky. I'd also like to say I never actually had a panic attack but did my best to write the whole process with the research I did. My poor attempts at being funny.

Word Count: 2.1K

Part 1 | Part 2

A/N: I'll say it till the end of time: English isn't my first language and this is my first fanfic. I'm thinking of starting to write fanfics because I have so many different ideas and scenarios and I have NO idea where this one is going, so maybe let me know if you'd like to read more from me? Idk. If you find mistakes please feel free to point them out so I can correct them. I'd also love some feedback and constructive criticism Enjoy!

Masterlist

As soon as you left the medbay, you immediately went to the floor where the guest rooms are, determined to check up on Bucky.

You find them all empty, so you decide to check around the tower in all the communal spaces: Living room, kitchen, training rooms, ecc.

Nothing.

At this point you're starting to wonder if he left the tower altogether. "Jarvis?" you decide to ask the AI.

"Yes, Miss Y/LN?" he answer.

"Do you happen to know where Bucky is?"

"He's locked himself in his room." Jarvis promptly answers, leaving you a little confused.

"But I checked the guest rooms, they were all empty."

"Mr Barnes has been assigned a permanent room, like every other Avenger."

"Oh." you say, a little surprised but happy about it "Could you tell me where it is?"

"It's on the 48th floor, room next to yours and in front of Mr. Wilson’s."

"Thank you, J." you say, making your way to the elevator.

"You're welcome, Miss." he says.

It made sense he would get assigned that room. It's one of the last ones left free as the team keeps growing, and it also happens to be the floor where Steve lives along with you and Sam.

You get to your floor and are thankful to see that it's empty, not wanting to confront anybody else today.

You make your way through the corridor and stop at the first bedroom on the left, Bucky's new room.

You gently knock on the door but don't get any type of answer, so you knock a little louder.

Again, nothing.

"Bucky, it's Y/N." you can't hear anything. "

I just wanted to make sure you were okay? Jarvis, are you sure he's in there?" you ask after not hearing a sound.

"Positive, miss Y/LN." you consider what to do for a few seconds.

He obviously doesn't want anyone's company. Or maybe he just doesn't want yours.

After all, you have known him less than a day, and he did left the medbay after you made eye contact and you saw him crying.

You hope he doesn't think you agree with what Tony said, even though you didn't even try to defend him after you learned about his past. But you were just shocked, whatever you expected, it definitely was not that.

Before you could decide to knock again or just leave him alone, you hear a very muffled sob coming from the other side of the door. As much as you do want to respect his privacy, you're getting a little worried.

You try opening the door but it's locked. "Jarvis, override lock on Bucky's room."

"Lock override successful." he says just as you hear the lock click.

You carefully open the door and look towards the bed, but see that it's empty.

You come in and close the door behind you, standing with your back against it and trying to adjust to the newfound darkness in the room without the light from the corridor.

You look around the room trying to locate Bucky when you hear another quiet sob coming from the furthest corner of the room.

You slowly make your way towards it and, as soon as you're close enough, you see Bucky curled up with his arms hugging his legs against his chest and his head buried in his legs.

"Bucky...?" you try to get his attention before getting any closer so as to not scare him, but you’re not sure if he can even hear you.

He's still visibly shaking like before and sobbing very quietly but uncontrollably. you get closer and kneel down right in front of him, gently putting a hand on his shoulder.

His head shoots up in surprise and the look on his face is that of pure fear as he moved back as close as he can against the wall and as far away from you as possible.

you feel bad for scaring him, and pull away a bit further from him, but still close enough so he can see who you are after the initial shock.

You can tell he recognizes you when his face and his shoulders drop some of the tension, although he makes no attempts to get closer to you.

You decide to try and get a little closer after a few moments, so you slowly get back to kneeling right in front of him while he watches your every move but doesn't try to get further away.

His eyes are wide open and his breathing is getting quicker by the second, tears still streaming down his face.

Then you realize he's having a panic attack.

You consider your options for a second. You've never had a panic attack yourself, but you know Tony gets them and, although you've happened to be there for a few of them over the years, you were never the one to calm him down. Getting him wasn't an option either, everything considered.

You could try to get Steve, he might know what to do if this has happened to Bucky before, but seeing Bucky's breathing get quicker and quicker you guess there's not enough time to get him here.

Then suddenly you remembered something helpful, thank fuck.

"Bucky, look at me." you order him quietly so as to not make him panic even more.

He meets your eyes, meaning you have his attention, but shows no signs of calming down.

"Tell me five things you can see." You simply tell him.

He's confused for a moment, but seeing the determined look on your face you guess he decides that he indeed heard correctly what you asked of him and starts looking around.

"I can see..." He starts but seems to have trouble finishing his sentence.

"It's okay, just try to take a deep breath and concentrate on the things around you." You tell him in the softest voice you can while trying not to panic yourself.

"I-I can see a lamp," he starts, looking around. "the door... a bed, a chair, and... a desk?" he finishes, a little unsure of what he's even doing.

"Good. Now, tell me four things you can touch." you tell him, still surprisingly calm.

"I can touch the carpet" he says, slowly touching the fluffy carpet under him. "The dresser, the wall..." he says, touching the dresser at his right and the wall at his left that he was basically hiding between.

"And... Um..." he looks like he has a little trouble coming up with a fourth thing, until he reaches for you, puts his right hand on your shoulder and says "And you."

You chuckle, which seems to calm him just the slightest bit and you keep going. "Alright, tell me three things you can hear."

He stays quiet for a few seconds, listening for sounds you imagine, and then says "I can hear the AC, the rain and the elevator being used."

He then looks at you waiting for the next thing, but you take a second to realize what he said and you're impressed.

You hadn't even realized it's raining and the elevator was all the way across the floor. The hearing on this man. With a small 'damn' that you’re now sure he can hear, you keep going.

"Tell me two things you can smell." you tell him.

You can see his nose scrunch a little, which you find adorable, and he says "I can smell jasmine." looking at the flower vase on his bedside table filled with jasmines, your favorite flowers that Tony tends to leave here and there just for your enjoyment.

"And… strawberries?" he says, a little confused with his answer.

You're confused too until you realize what he's probably smelling. "Oh, it's probably just my shampoo" you say with a chuckle.

He gives you a nod with a smile smile and you say "Now, last thing, tell me one thing you can taste."

He thinks about your words for a second, a look of concentration on his face, then he looks back at you and says, very quietly. "I can taste my tears."

you give him a sad smile and say "That's heartbreaking... But on the bright side, you're not panicking anymore."

He gives you a sad smile of his own, but seems to suddenly realize everything that just happened.

His face drops and he bows his head, refusing to look you in the eye, clearly very embarrassed that you saw him in the middle of a panic attack.

"Are you okay?" you ask him softly, tears still running down his face and his body still trembling a little but visibly more calm.

"I should be the one asking you that..." he answers, his voice a little hoarse from all the crying.

You can't help the smile that makes its way on your face at his concern.

"I'm fine, thanks to you. Are you okay, though?" you ask again.

"You shouldn't be here..." he says quietly.

He's still avoiding your question, so instead you ask "Why not?"

"I could hurt you..." he says in a small, sad voice that breaks your heart.

"Would you hurt me?" you ask.

He frowns and almost immediately says "of course not" still very quietly.

You give him a reassuring smile and say "Then I'm not worried." he finally looks up at you and gives you a small smile.

After a few minutes of silence, you feel the need to ask him. "Was that the first time that happened to you?"

He shakes his head and, when you don't say anything else and just look at him expectantly, he elaborates.

"I've had a few in the last three months, since... You know..." He says with a quiet voice and avoided your gaze. "It was the first time someone helped me though... Steve tried to, but they wouldn't let him..." he finishes.

You know by 'they' he means the guards at the Raft, so you don't ask any more questions about it, knowing he probably wants to forget about that place in the first place.

So instead you get up, look down at him and, extending your arm for him to take, you ask. "Why don't you get some sleep? You look exhausted."

He just nods, slowly taking your hand and getting up with absolutely no help from you. Being a big and strong dude of course he doesn't need it.

You walk to his bed and he sits down, you turn and are about to walk to the door when he stops you, his hand still in yours.

You turn back towards him and see him looking down, which makes you think that maybe you imagined him pulling on your hand?

But then you hear him, barely because of how low his voice is, asking "Can you stay?"

You aren't sure you heard right, so you ask him "You want me to stay with you?"

But he seemed to take that as you thinking he was crazy for even suggesting something like that because he very quickly drops your hand and says "You don't have to, you probably have enough of me after the panic attack, it's alright you can go." and just lays down on the bed, turning his back on you.

You stand there for a moment, thinking of what to do before you decide that not only is it clear that Bucky was desperately reaching out, not wanting to be alone, but you don't want to be alone either.

And, right now, it feels like Bucky is your only friend left in the tower. The only one you aren't pissed at, at least.

You move closer to his bed and quietly say "Bucky... I can stay, if you want me to."

He turns around to face you, a little shocked so you give him a smile to let him know you're serious.

He scoots over to make space for you and, after taking off your shoes and without either one of you saying another word, you lay down on your back.

After several minutes of silence you hear him quietly say "Thank you." which makes you turn on your side so you're facing him, only to find him already facing you.

"Anytime." you whisper back with a smile, which he returns.

You stay like that for a little while, just looking at each other, and eventually you fall asleep, his beautiful, freakishly blue eyes being the last thing you see.

Bucky watches you sleep for a bit until he also falls into a quiet sleep, with you very unaware of the fact that this is the first time in years, if not decades, that Bucky actually gets a full night of peaceful sleep.

Part 4

#bucky barnes #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x female reader #bucky barnes au #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes x y/n #bucky barnes imagine #sebastian stan #marvel fanfiction #bucky x reader #bucky x you #james bucky barnes #bucky barnes x f!reader #avengers x reader #avengers x platonic reader #avengers x platonic!reader

222 notes · View notes

bunnybubae · 7 months

Text

(M)🚦Red Light: The Fear | Ch1 [JJK]

👉🏻[Series Masterpost]

Pairing: Jeon Jungkook x Reader (GymOwner!JK/MotoRacer!JK/Biker!JK-TattoArtist!OC)

Genre: S2L - Smut - Fluff - Angst

Summary: Jeon Jungkook never lets any distraction take him away from his motorcycle or his gym for more than one night. He just wants to speed around the track and feel the adrenaline rushing through his veins, the sex he gets thanks to his charm, is just a side dish to his life. A tough past brought him on that Ducati that he learned to love, a past you'll uncover, as you slowly seep in under his skin. It's a hell of a ride, in all senses, as you try to escape your own hell in the meanwhile. Where will this ride bring you? Will it be worth it in the end?

Chapter Warnings: This chapter describes an episode of harassment (it involves an unwanted kiss), please be aware of this if this theme makes you uncomfortable, description of past emotional abuse (manipulation, toxic jealousy), Angst, mention of alcohol consumption, Oc's ex is a stalker, cops are grossly negligent in this au, Tae and Hani to the rescue, Jk is hot af but this is nothing new.

Wc: 7.4k

A/N: Hello there! I've been planning this whole series for over a year and I'm finally able to make it come to life, slowly but surely! As always, I'm sorry if there are some grammatical mistakes, english isn't my first language and I don't have a beta, so pls bear with me! 🫶🏻

Let me know what you think about the series, my box is always open! - Joy 🐰

September 12th, Tuesday

The sun has already set, leaving the place to the colors of dusk.

You feel that your heart might explode in your chest at any moment. Is it the september evening breeze that's causing the chills covering your skin, or if it's all due to this visceral fear that's blocking your muscles right now? You can't quite tell.

After some extra hours at work, you thought you could finally close the tattoo shop in peace and go home to enjoy some leftover pizza in front of your laptop, but no- Ray evidently had other plans for you, deciding to unexpectedly visit you in the most unpleasant way possible.

You wish Hani had stayed a little longer today to close the shop with you, because this sickening feeling it's becoming unbearable. You feel like a mouse in front of a ravenous cat and you want to scream, but you just don't find the courage to do it.

He caught you off guard from behind, while you were looking for the keys in your bag, then he effortlessly spun you around on the spot and you found yourself blocked by your shoulders leaning against the entrance door of the shop.

Your throat tightens as you struggle to breathe regularly.

You're helpless and right now the only thing you can do is curse the day you replied to his message on Instagram, curse the invitation to participate at that damn workshop you and Hani organized for an exchange of advertising between tattoo artists. You can only curse that day and the following ones you spent with him. Of course you couldn't imagine that your perfect relationship would turn into such a nightmare, your ex used to be so kind and loving with you at the beginning, not even close to the obsessive, pleading mess that's keeping you trapped in utter fear right now. Jealousy can sometimes turn into such an obsession evidently, it can change people and you never expected something like this to happen in your life. Everything only got worse when after almost a year in your toxic relationship, you found the courage to finally break up with him.

Weeks had passed since the last time Ray had disgusted you with his threatening messages and unexpected visits during work, you were almost convinced he had found another hobby but as a matter of fact, you were wrong.

He understood that you can ignore his messages or even block his number for good, that you won't listen to him when Hani or your clients are around, but you certainly won't be able to ignore his forced presence, especially now that you're totally alone. He knows he has your undivided attention in this way.

He slurs something but you can't even pay attention. His inked arms are situated on each side of your head, while he looks down at you with desperate eyes. You don't even recognize him anymore. He used to take extra care of his appearance and health back when you two used to date, but now it seems like he is facing a grave problem with drinking. His body is close to yours, way too close for your liking and his warm breath mixed with whatever alcohol he drank, almost makes you gag.

The smell of his cologne is the only thing that's still the same and that you recognize, it hits your nostrils and it brings back memories that now only hurt.

“Y/N, baby- why do you keep ignoring me like this?” his voice is strained and his face is contorted in anger- or nostalgia, you can't even tell. "You're killing me and I always treated you well" He is trying to stop the thoughts that are clouding his mind, slurring out the words breathlessly.

"I fucking miss you! I don't know what else to do to make you mine again!"

These words are filled with desperation and you hate it, his need for possession is crystal clear in his statements. He threatened you multiple times saying that if you didn't get back together he would harm himself, claiming that the pain was too strong for him to bear, but he never said he wanted you back because he loved you, not even once. The only thing that he misses is controlling you, the only thing that he loves is taking away everything from you, putting himself at the center of your world.

He only wants to call you his, like a mere emotionless object. You hate it, you hate him.

He probably never wanted to take care of your heart as you believed and the realization that you were in love with him once, that his twisted feelings were strong for you but not in a healthy way, it makes you sick to your stomach. You should have known better, but you were blinded by your feelings.

There was a moment when you thought that you deserved this treatment, you told yourself that you allowed all of this because you were too naive to notice that those toxic feelings were poisoning your persona, till it was too late and they suffocated you, caging you.

"G-get away from me" you manage to say in a small voice as your heart thunders in your ears. Your stomach twists in a knot when you sense his moving hands. The fear turns into pure horror when his hands find their way to rest on your cheeks a little too harshly and you instinctively hold your breath.

His drunken lips crash into yours with urgency, and you feel like you might throw up at all the disgusting sensations you are experiencing right now. Your body reacts of its own accord, rejecting this desperate, unwanted kiss before he could deepen it or do something worse.

“I said get away from me!” you scream in a broken voice as you try to push him away with all the strength you possess.

Ray is looking at you, almost surprised that you had the courage to reject him. Despite your effort he doesn't budge much, it's like his feet are planted to the ground.

You're not able to meet his bloodshot eyes as you desperately try to free yourself. He's mumbling something that you can't quite comprehend and then his heavy hands are pushing your shoulders against the cold glass of the shop entrance, once again.

You didn't know you were crying until your vision started to blur with tears. This feeling of helplessness is the same one that kept you stuck in Ray's twisted love for months.

Red flags were scattered all around, he started by making you doubt your abilities as an artist to then insistently ask you to pass all your male clients to Hani, co-owner of the shop as well as your best friend ever since you were children. She was the one who covered up your lies with Ray, as you tried to keep your clients aways from his madness.

He bulldozed everything around you, but Hani always stayed by your side, refusing to believe Ray's lies. She was your sturdy pillar when everything around you was falling apart.

It was when Ray began to spread heavy lies about her, to lead you to break the agreements and contract with her, that you finally understood the gravity of the situation, that he was capable of totally ruining your life if you allowed him to manipulate you further.

The threatening texts and stalking episodes that followed are nothing compared to what keeping a relationship with him could have entailed.

You're not sure when Ray started behaving in a toxic manner, cause you still remember the rosy beginning of your relationship and everything was just fine. Hani says she started noticing changes when he decided to surprise you one day at the shop and found the both of you engaged in a simple conversation with some male regulars. This evidently made him very jealous, because from that moment, the ordeal began.

Your thoughts and sobbing are interrupted when Ray goes from mumbling pleas to insulting you with hatred, while his hands squeeze your shoulders as if to make sure to imprint on your skin all that he is feeling for you.

You're not sure how you managed to free yourself from his grip, next thing you know you're running with all the strength you have left in your body, abandoning the alley of the shop to find a safer place. You hear him calling your name a couple of times as you put more and more distance between you. You fear that he might follow you and block you once again and the mere thought of finding yourself defenseless in the arms that once wrapped you with apparent affection, is enough to make new tears flow down your cheeks.

The streets are almost empty and after reaching one that is well illuminated by shop signs, you look around to make sure he is not after you. When you make sure he is nowhere to be found, you grab your phone with shaky hands to call your best friend. You keep walking down the sidewalk as you try to calm your crying.

“Y/N?”

After a few rings, Hani answers the phone and hearing her voice ruins your desperate attempt to stay calm. You let out a liberating cry as you tell her that Ray really went too far this time.

You knew that Hani had a date with her boyfriend, Taehyung, who she met several months ago at the shop. Tae got a tattoo from her and from that moment they became inseparable. You knew they were going out to dinner and you feel bad ruining their date like this, but they are the only people you can trust who know everything about your struggles with your ex.

Hani speaks quickly but gently on the phone, she clearly tries to keep calm while she tells you to go to the bar that you often visit after work, located just a few minutes away from the shop. She reassures you, telling you that they would be there as soon as possible.

“Don't hang up until you get there, okay?” Hani adds, she can probably sense how shaken you are by what just happened and leaving you alone, even if it's over the phone, is out of question.

“I'm almost there,” you reply weakly through your sobs as you keep walking. You dry your face and try to normalize your breathing when you reach the small street where the bar is located. It's a quiet little place that holds countless memories for you and Hani, it was there that you and her celebrated the purchase of your tattoo shop a few years ago and it's where you return whenever you feel the need to unplug for a moment, while remaining in an familiar environment that makes you feel at ease.

You walk through the entrance still holding your phone to your ear. The warmth hits your limbs pleasantly while lounge music and the smell of beer begin to envelop you like a blanket.

On the other end of the phone you hear a loud windy noise and you deduce that Hani has already gotten on the motorcycle with Tae and that they are therefore about to arrive.

You feel a little calmer.

You end the call, knowing that Hani can't hear you and instead you opt for a text, informing her you'll wait for them at your usual spot.

When you scan the place, you're glad it's only a tuesday as there are only a few people. You reach the slightly more secluded area of the place and you sit at your favorite table. The place is filled with fairy lights hanging above your head, their light hitting the brickstone of the walls and the wooden furniture just right, giving a cozy vibe that you always liked.

You then take off your jacket and your bag before sitting down, glad to have some dividers shielding you as you feel the aftermath of the adrenaline rush coming to you, all your strength drains away. Your shoulders ache from the tension and because of Ray's grip on them, your feet throb from the wild run and your heart continues to beat like a concert is taking place inside your ribs. You lean on the table with your elbows as you bring your hands to your head to massage your temples.

How could you ever imagine to find yourself in a similar situation?

You naively refused to believe that Ray was capable of hurting you in any way. He was too sweet and helpful with you at the beginning to think he was evil, your shared passion for arts was the core of your relationship and you also learned something new about the art of tattooing thanks to him. You were grateful for all the help he gave you in the shop. Ray is also objectively hot and the physical attraction and sexual chemistry were very strong between you.

Everything was pretty perfect.

Too much indeed, to the point that thinking about it now you wonder how you didn't notice how much the whole thing was stinking a mile away. You couldn't imagine that behind his perfect appearance and behavior, there was such an obsessed manipulator. You truly believed that he loved you like you loved him.

You sigh, rubbing your eyes with the heel of your hands. Whatever he has done now, you're sick to ask help from the cops, they did nothing useful when you needed them in the past.

"We can't handcuff a guy without clear evidence that he's acting in bad faith, he's a heartbroken young man trying to win his girlfriend back!"

These were the words they said only two months ago, when you tried to report his constant messages and stalking episodes. Nobody did anything. They dwelt mostly on the threats he sent, on the fact that he said he was going to hurt himself if you didn't answer or consider getting back together with him and they also didn't think his repeated visits were something to worry about, since he used to do that when you were still together, in their opinion.

They even had the courage to tell you that you guys are young, that people are made to make mistakes and learn from them and all that bullshit people say when they need to give air to their mouths.

They made him seem like the victim here and you are so sick to deal with this bullshit, you'd rather lock yourself home and never get out than asking their useless help once again.

You don't feel safe anyway, neither without nor with them.

You've resigned to the idea that you can't count on them and that you must do something yourself, but what can you do against a much taller and stronger guy?

You shiver at the thought but then your attention is drawn by a soft voice.

“Hey,” when you lift your head, your gaze softens as it meets your best friend's face. She promptly sits next to you without even taking off her motorcycle jacket and gloves and she pulls you into her arms.

"I swear if I see him around I'll gouge out his eyes and make earrings out of them."

Hani states as she continues to soothe you in her embrace. A little smile creeps on your face, mostly because you know that she would be perfectly capable of doing what she just said.

She is scary sometimes, but you love her nonetheless.

You feel an extra hand caressing your shoulder "That's a creepy way to do some recycling but I approve" Taehyung adds in a lighter tone, when you move to look at him you notice he is looking down at you with a sad smile on his face.

Since Tae started dating Hani, he has become a dear friend to you, you love the natural way he takes care of her, and you appreciate the several times he came to your rescue, having a fight with Ray to defend you. He is a good friend. You smile at him but the smile doesn't reach your puffy reddened eyes.

It's nice to know that your friends are always there for you, you feel so helpless though, so fragile right now.

Tae orders the usual for the three of you and some snacks from a passing waiter, and then he joins you and Hani at the table, both of them ready to listen to you.

“Thank you guys for coming- I'm sorry I ruined your date.” you feel guilty and your voice is still trembling a little bit.

“Don't even joke about it, Y/N.” Tae's tone is almost scolding as he fixes their motorcycle jackets next to him.

“You know that Tae and I see each other almost every day," Hani says "You don't have to worry about that.”

“It's just that I- I never felt so weak before” you admit as your eyes begin to shine again, unshed tears gathering on the rim of your lower eyelid, threatening to fall at any moment.

“I tried to push him away when he kissed me.” the memory of his lips on yours makes you shudder, so much so that you can't believe that there was a time instead when you craved those lips all over your body.

"I was barely able to push him off of me." Hani and Tae keep listening, anger readable on their faces as you recount what happened. You manage to speak on the verge of crying, your eyes glimmer but this time you find the strength to keep your tears at bay. You feel anger taking over your fear right now, that's probably why you refuse to cry over your disgusting ex and his demeanor yet again.

Hani interjects, stating that she'll do all the closing at the shop with you from now on, adding that she's starting to consider buying you some pepper spray, so you can empty it on his face if he shows up again.

The waiter returns with your orders and some water, telling you to call him back if you need anything else. He seems to have noticed your mood and doesn't want to interfere too much while remaining at your service anyway. You thank him with a warm smile before he goes back to doing his job elsewhere.

“Pepper spray is a good idea and you should buy it if it makes you feel a little safer," Tae begins "but I have another idea.” he adds before sipping his drink.

“I have a friend who races with me who also owns a gym, he even teaches kids how to throw good punches and stuff.”

You had almost completely forgotten that Tae participates in a regional motorcycle racing championship every year, Hani did nothing but talk about it at the beginning of their relationship.

Hani nods vigorously after taking a sip of her own drink, agreeing with her boyfriend.

"It wouldn't be a bad idea actually!" she says “Punching the shit out of that dick head would be even more satisfying!”

Tae fishes his wallet out of his jacket pocket and then rummages through its folds. When he finds what he was looking for, he places a business card on the table and pushes it towards you.

"Jungkook took care of the gym full time before also dedicating himself to racing" he explains "Now there is a guy who helps him with the management, but he prefers to take care of the main courses himself"

You collect the business card while pondering what to do. Taking some boxing lessons might help you boost your confidence, your strength and it might be a good distraction as well.

"It's not that far from the shop" you recognize the name of the gym having passed in front of it a few times while you wanted to buy breakfast in a nearby coffee shop before your shift at work. You could use the opportunity to learn something new that you could also use to your advantage if needed.

You listen while Tae tries to explain what he knows about the gym, telling you that his friend Jungkook mainly handles the children's class in the early afternoon and the adult's class that starts at 7pm. That wouldn't be bad for you, since your closing time is around 6 pm, cleaning up and preparing the shop for the next day won't take much time.

“If you decide to try, tell him I sent you,” Tae continues “I can already tell you tho- Jungkook loves to joke, sometimes a little too much, but he's a good guy and knows how to be serious when necessary”

You slightly nod, looking back at the piece of paper in your hands.

You can try, and if you don't like it you can always leave.

You can grab an uber or whatever to reach the place and to go back home. It should be fine if you book it a little earlier, so you don't have to wait alone outside.

"Okay," you suddenly say "I think I'll give it a try."

Hani and Tae both smile, visibly content with your choice.

"Do you want me to walk you there?" Hani asks "It'll be a 30ish minute walk" You accept Hani's proposal without thinking too much.

"How about thursday?" you add "We can go together and then I'll get organized with uber and stuff"

Hani agrees, then she drifts her attention to Tae, who starts to discuss with her the time and place he will be coming to pick her up after she drops you at the gym.

The evening continues normally, you regain your tranquility bit by bit, even tho there is always a pinch of sadness and anger bothering you in the back of your mind. Sharing some quiet moments with your friends managed to cheer you up enough to genuinely laugh at the silly bickering between the two lovebirds.

You can't help but wonder if you'll be able to get over this mess anytime soon.

When it's time to go home, Hani decides that she will be spending the night with you at the apartment you once shared for more than a year, before she started to crash often at Tae's.

Ray could always decide to make the situation worse by showing up at your door, you think. If he decides to do so, Hani could create those famous eyeballs-earrings much sooner, she said. The joke makes you all chuckle, you are happy to have them by your side, gosh- you truly are grateful.

Spending time with them definitely improved your mood and you feel like you can overcome this bad period of your life, with time and patience.

You thank Tae who waited for your uber to arrive before putting on his helmet and get on his motorcycle.

You feel incredibly tired but hopeful, this new experience could really help you on multiple fronts.

September 14th, Thursday

When you wake up, you feel like you've slept for barely 2 hours, but it's been like this since the whole stalking shit started, so. You lack your usual enthusiasm, that unbridled desire to create works of art on other people's skin, it's slowly vanishing away and that worries you.

You do your best to react though. The day goes by better than yesterday, your appointments at the shop flow smoothly one after the other and some potential customers have come to ask for some info on the costs of piercings, something Hani mainly manages.

You keep your mood up to meet your customers' requests, to smile and make them feel comfortable.

You are finishing the last touches on the skin of your last client of the day when, looking up at the clock hanging on the wall, you realize that soon it will be time to close, you shudder a little even if you know that Hani will close the shop with you this time, it's been only two days after all, the events are still too fresh. You let the buzzing sound of the pen distract you as you fill the last bit of skin with ink.

In no time, the shop is empty and silent again, except for Hani who has the pleasant habit of humming as she tidies up her side of the shop. You finish cleaning your station while your mind wanders. You think that it was so natural and easier to enjoy the peace of this place before.

This has always been a safe place for you, your very home. Of course, the concept of home is usually a place where you don't do your job, where you sleep, eat and rest. You pay the rent for the apartment, but this is still where you spend most of your time, this is that place that you know you will never leave, that you feel it's yours, that when you walk through the door makes you feel in your element.

It shouldn't be that difficult now, it's still the same shop, but the need to hide your appointments to avoid arguments with your ex in the past and the fear you began to feel as time passed, have tarnished what this place means to you. Your face drops in sadness at the thought. You want to go back to loving this place like you've always done at all costs and find some serenity again. Tattooing has always been your passion, something that sadly distanced you from your parents, who always wished you would pursue a different career. You won't let Ray ruin what you accomplished with sacrifices.

The shop shines when you're done, you pick up the bag previously prepared for the gym and you and Hani close the shop together.

You hope these lessons can help you release some stress.

Hani walks by your side, talking about everything and nothing, sharing a little laugh when you tell her that you can't wait to punch a sandbag imagining Ray's face.

The evening is pleasantly chilly and you're almost at the gym when you ask Hani if she wants you to wait with her for Tae to arrive.

“Don't worry I'll meet him at the corner,” she reply "besides, the class has already started, you should head inside."

You look at your phone, realizing it's way past 7:30pm already and you begin to feel a little anxious. Hani then tells you to call her or Tae if you need anything, even if they're going to spend the evening at the movies, she makes sure that you know you can always rely on them.

You nod, smiling "Thanks for being there Hani, I don't know how I'd have reacted to all of this alone" You truly don't know. Hani waves her hand "Don't even joke abaut it" she replies, mirroring your smile.

"You even talk like Tae now!"

She rolls her eyes but she knows you are just teasing her.

“I want to know everything about your first lesson tomorrow!” she emphatically throws a few empty and totally random punches. You giggle at the scene shaking your head “Sure sure- I’ll show you what I learn.”

“As long as you don't punch me, I'm fine with it.” You push her playfully and then you say goodbye as she walks away and you enter the gym.

It seems like a recently renovated place. You expected the usual smell of sweat and plastic typical of the gyms, but you are actually surprised to catch a fresh hint of flowers in the air. You notice a small reception near the entrance door, a well decorated counter with all sorts of flyers on top and red and blue led lights that illuminate the gym logo in the front, but there is no one behind the counter to welcome you.

You take a few steps through an arch that leads to what is apparently the main area of the gym.

The floor is mostly covered with a rubber tatami and you see some hanging plants and flower pots by the walls, which explains the very subtle smell in the air. Different tools and dumbbells are scattered around while several people are engaged in exercises of various kinds in front of some floor to ceiling mirrors.

You scan the place, pleased by the vibe it radiates. It surely is strange to find so many flowers and plants in a place like this, but it gives an original touch to it. Your gaze lands on a bunch of guys wearing boxing gloves while observing the explanation of an exercise. The one that's explaining, according to Tae's description, should be his friend Jungkook, who is standing in front of them while performing the exercise in question as an example.

Wow. Those are some wide shoulders right there.

You watch him intently as the dark haired guy moves. Something about his movements is attractive and you guess it's just him when he turns around and you notice the lip ring that Tae had told you about and the right arm completely full of colorful tattoos that you are already dying to curiously inspect. Yup, he's hot.

You watch him from the entrance as he performs the exercise with ease, his muscles flex and you can glimpse at them while his clothes deliciously wrap around his body. Tae could have warned you, it's gonna be hard to concentrate with this guy.

Jungkook almost seems to sense your gaze on him when, once his explanation is over, he turns towards the entrance you are standing at and your eyes meet for a moment. You tense up cursing at yourself, gawking at a complete stranger at the gym is creepy, But then you notice he's smiling while he approaches you and the group of guys he left is now performing the exercise.

"Can I help you?"

Of course, even his voice had to be hot. Fuck. You shift on your spot, clutching the bag you're carrying on your shoulder as you hope the warmth you're feeling on your face doesn't color your cheeks.

"You must be Jungkook," you reply, feeling a little awkward. Why even the sound of your own voice sounds stupid to you right now, damn.

"In the flesh." he responds confidently, pushing his hair back with his fingers.

Ok, now it's fucking clear as day that this guy knows very well that he is good looking and that he has an effect, which makes you think that he must be used to the women eating him up with their eyes.

"And you are?" he asks with curiosity laced in his voice.

"Uh sorry, I'm Y/N" you compose your thoughts trying to ignore the increasing awkwardness you feel explaining that "Taehyung told me about your class and I would like to give it a try."

"Kim Taehyung? Are you two friends?" He seems surprised as his eyebrows raise.

“Yeah, his girlfriend is my best friend.”

Jungkook chuckles by himself, amused by something you ignore.

"You're the tattoo artist, aren't you?" he asks, smiling as if he figured a puzzle or something like that.

“Did he say I was coming?”

“Not exactly,” Jungkook replies “but I met your best friend at Tae's a few times and I heard her say your name while speaking to Tae.” He seems pleased by the coincidence.

The fact that he remembers this small thing doesn't surprise you that much, but you start to feel anxious wondering if he happened to hear something related to your situation with Ray, you'd rather avoid talking about it. It's already difficult to deal with it with your friends, but most of all, you don't need compassion.

Jungkook observes you momentarily, and almost as if he sensed the drift of your thoughts, he beckons you to follow him towards a freer area of the gym. You follow him till you reach a set of gloves neatly arranged in one corner.

“Can I see your hands?” he asks casually.

"Sure." You leave the bag you're carrying on your shoulder on the ground, moving it to the side so it's not in the way, then you bring your hands forward with your palms facing up to let him observe them. Jungkook gently gathers your hands, and his touch is so delicate you barely feel it. He observes carefully, humming while he tries to figure out which pair of boxing gloves would fit you well.

It's not even a proper touch, it almost feels like the slight tickle that a feather would give and it's... pleasant. You're not completely indifferent as his fingers continue to brush the back of your hands, the sensation making you feel a little shy even though he is just looking at your hands and nothing more.

"Try these" His fingers leave you to take and offer you a particular pair of boxing gloves that he thinks might fit you. You inspect them briefly, wincing a little at the sweaty feel that envelops your hands as you put them on.

You feel your hands swimming inside, indicating that they are too big for you. You look at Jungkook asking “Do you have a slightly smaller pair?” Jungkook seems to have already considered the possibility that these were too big. He is giggling as he hands you another pair of seemingly smaller and more colorful boxing gloves and you see him try to bite back the smile that's on his pink lips. You can't help but think that the way he scrunches up his nose is actually cute.

You switch up the gloves with the colorful one, immediately understanding why he was chuckling like that. “I know, it's a big problem for me,” you admit, chuckling at your own hands, “I can't find latex gloves that fit perfectly 'cause of this” He laughs with you, amused by the smile that formed on your face when you noticed that the gloves he gave you are for children, specifically a blue and red spiderman themed pair.

"Using the words 'big problem" just made the whole thing funnier!"

"Well, I'll throw spider punches today." you joke.

Jungkook let's out a small laugh as he is looking at you with something in his eyes, you're probably the first grown up who needs kid's gloves and you catch him subtly checking you out.

This sense of lightness, simple yet helpful for your tired mind, is doing some good to you, you can feel it as you notice that you're exchanging genuine smiles and gazes since you started talking.

You follow him, avoiding to step on the tatami with your shoes as you approach the corner with different punch bags. He stands next to you in front of one of the standing punch bags available.

“Alright- so, there's no need to throw hard punches, for now just show me how you throw them.”

"But I don't know how!" you admit.

"Exactly, I want to see your natural movements, to understand what we'll have to work on'' Jungkook replies as he crosses his arms on his chest. The motion captures your eyes for a moment too long. That sleeve tattoo looks perfectly done and you barely refrained to take a closer look, the delicious way his tatted muscles are popping out of his white t-shirt is too distracting.

"Now show me how those little hands would hit the bag" his tone has slightly changed and he is smirking at you. He's teasing purposely and you think you saw him winking at you, or maybe you just imagined it. You roll your eyes as an attempt to save yourself from the embarrassment of being caught gawking at him like that.

You ignore the persistent warmth on your cheeks and try to remember the movements you saw earlier, as he explained to those guys. They seemed to get into position before they did anything else, so you try to imitate the movements you remember as best as you can.

You bring your left arm across your chest as your right arm punches the punch bag in front of you with ease. Jungkook's face is fully concentrated, he hums as he nods a couple of times, his gaze lost as he ponders on the movements he just saw.

“Okay, first of all- your left arm.” Jungkook moves, putting himself between you and the punch bag.

"Get back in position again, the one before you throw the punch"

You promptly do what he asked, repeating the previous movements once again. You stop when your arms are folded like before and you're ready to throw the punch. Jungkook's hands move as he says "Relax your shoulders." and then they gently rest on you.

This time his touch is not a simple featherlike brush, you feel the weight of his hands resting delicately on your skin and you stiffen at the contact. He said you should relax, but his hands on you caused the opposite reaction.

Ray and his hands come to your mind, the feeling of him holding you against the glass door is fogging your thoughts again, even though Jungkook's touch is soft and gentle on you.

You wince a little, taking a step back instinctively. Jungkook immediately withdraws his hands, sensing your discomfort.

"S-sorry, I was trying to correct your posture, I didn't mean to-"

“No- it's fine" you interrupt him, suppressing the negative emotions that started to poison your guts.

You really want to focus and learn and until now, you had no idea your ex's behavior has affected you up to this point.

Jungkook watches you dubiously, you can't decipher the expression adorning his beautiful face right now, he seems worried, thoughtful, maybe he's wondering what kind of an idiot would want to learn how to throw punches and then reacts like this at the slightest physical contact.

The idea of having to give up because of this sensation, pisses you off. You gulp the lump on your throat while you close your eyes briefly, then you resume the position, being careful to relax your shoulders this time.

"Better?" you ask in a calm voice. Jungkook nods with a faint smile on his face. Even if he probably noticed there's something wrong, you're glad he's not asking questions.

"What else wasn't right?"

Jungkook notices your determination to continue and returns to your side again, opting for a demonstrative explanation this time.

He moves his body naturally and you observe him carefully. His movements are so precise and satisfying to watch and the desire to learn, to achieve more or less this naturalness, gives you the right push to continue. Most of all, now that you know that Ray left this horrible sensation on your skin, you're determined to get rid of it.

Jungkook explains the importance of taking a correct position, to be able to hurt and not get hurt. A faint smile returns to your face at his way of explaining this kind of thing with passion and care.

You imitate his movements by moving your left foot forward, your left arm at your chest like before but slightly higher, until your glove touches the side of your chin. When you feel that you have planted your foot well on the ground, with a slight movement of your shoulders, you accompany your right fist towards the bag, also rotating your pelvis slightly.

And just like that, you land a perfect punch on the punch bag.

Jungkook cheers softly so as not to disturb the others but his satisfaction is evident. You smile to see him so taken for so little, but you have to admit that you feel pumped, and yes- it was only one perfectly landed punch.

“That's a great start!” he adds enthusiastically.

"So even small hands can throw some good punches huh!" You laugh softly and Jungkook joins you, genuinely amused.

"I'm sure those little punches will be able to do a lot of harm soon!" he declares "If you wanna join the gym, of course."

This is what you needed to hear, it gives you courage, you can't wait to feel totally comfortable with your abilities, you're ready to commit to this and Jungkook saw it, when you eagerly said "Of course I want!"

That -little episode- long forgotten when you two started to talk comfortably that evening. Jungkook took some time to explain how and when he gives his lessons and to show you around the gym as well as the female's locker room, making sure you knew you could use everything you wanted once you felt comfortable enough to train alone.

From that day, you started going to the gym almost regularly. To be honest, as time passed, you couldn't wait to get back on that tatami to train after work, it soon became a healthy habit.

And, on the other side, you could see Jungkook.

You like having him around, you and him started bantering all the time almost instantly. You got used to his presence and his ways of teasing pretty fast and he's been a breath of fresh air for you. You've been attracted to him since day one, you're not gonna lie, but he soon became some kind of a friend.

Yeah, that kind of friend you'd gladly rip their clothes off, but whatever.

The lethal mix of wide shoulders, buff body, lip ring, tatted arm and that sweet face of his when he smiles and scrunch up his cute nose…

Yup, you're kinda crushing on him and training with him almost everyday it's quite challenging.

You two share a nice friendship, but it's clear that something else is hidden underneath. The constant glances and flirty jokes at the gym are proof of that and from time to time you also catch him pretending not to be looking at your butt.

You are more at ease now and that's also thanks to him and his lessons.

Everything seems to be falling back to place, if not an even better one.

Ray has been silent since that night outside the shop. No messages, no calls, no unexpected visits, no nothing. The fear to meet him again is still persistent and sometimes the horrible things he did to you still haunt your mind, but you're now able to manage to get rid of it in no time. You're more confident, you sleep better and you're learning a bunch of new stuff that keeps your mind busy.

You feel like you're able to breathe again, like you got your life back in your hands.

Hani walked with you to the gym a few more times after the first time, but you soon started to book an uber to go and get back. It wasn't difficult to get into a rhythm: you book it through your phone a little earlier, so you don't have to wait outside and that's it, like this you're able to close the shop and get into the car immediately and when you have to go back home, you take a shower at the gym, say your goodbyes and head outside, where your uber is already waiting for you. Simple and effective.

Just to be extra sure, you leave your lessons a little earlier, like at 9pm instead of 10pm. Better safe than sorry.

Jungkook never asked the reason why you always leave early, not explicitly at least. Sometimes he's teased you by asking if you quit training early to fight crime with your cute hands, a recurring joke you always involuntarily smile at. Tae had warned you after all, Jungkook jokes a lot and in all this time spent at the gym, training with him, you had the opportunity to see for yourself.

There's something though that seems to creep behind his eyes every now and then and you can't quite put your finger on what. Sometimes he seems extremely thoughtful or even sad, even a few moments after he just cracked a joke.

You never had the courage to ask, just like he never asked why you reacted like that the first time he touched you. You don't want to ask him what's bothering him and apparently he doesn't want to ask you either. Jungkook began to invade your thoughts just like that, with ease, and this hidden mystery behind his beautiful brown eyes keeps drawing you to him more and more.

| [Next Chapter] ▶

171 notes · View notes

mikachacha · 7 months

Text

𝙲𝚛𝚞𝚎𝚕 𝚂𝚞𝚖𝚖𝚎𝚛 (𝙱𝚊𝚍𝚊 𝙻𝚎𝚎 𝚡 𝚁𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚎𝚛)

Synopsis: You and Bada are in a situationship. You're both fine with that, at least you thought you're okay with it. The more time you spent with each other, the deeper you fell for her to the point where you couldn't help but think, what if you just straight up tell her that you love her?

(A/N: So yeah.. I'm just writing stories based on songs now 🤦‍♀️ Also, please excuse the grammar and spelling mistakes because English isn't my first language 🥹 Hope y'all enjoyyyyy!)

Warning: cursing, angst (well a bit), drunk shiz.. I think that's all??

🌸💮🌸💮🌸💮🌸💮🌸💮🌸💮🌸💮🌸💮🌸

Being in a situationship with Bada is both the greatest thing you've ever done and the worst torture. Bada's the perfect girlfriend one could ask for. Aside from the looks, she's caring, fun and just overall loveable. Seems like a perfect situation, right? Well that's where the problem arose. The more time you spent together, the more you realize that you're falling deeper for her and it sucks. Yeah, you may be sweet with each other, maybe kiss here and there but at the end of the day, she isn't yours. It's just something to pass the time or the boredom of being single. One day when she finds the person she truly wants, you'll be left in the ruins.

"You good? You've been spaced out?" Bada asked as she gently nudged your shoulder. You're just hanging out at the park late at night, enjoying the summer breeze together. You smiled at her and nodded your head, convincing her and mostly convincing yourself that you're okay. That you're all okay with this, which is a big, fat lie.

"Yeah I'm good, just thinking about something." You assured her before leaning your head on her shoulder. She hums and brushes your hair with her fingers before kissing your hair. As much as it pains you, you couldn't help but feel butterflies even at the smallest amount of affection she showers you.

"Are you free tomorrow evening?" she asked and you contemplated a bit if you should say yes or make up an excuse just to distance yourself a bit because you're falling dangerously hard for Bada and it's not good for you.

"Not really.. My friends and I planned to hang out at the bar tomorrow evening." you lied and she pouts a bit before sighing. As much as she wants to tell you to hang out with her instead, she had to remind herself that you're not her girlfriend and you're free to hang out with whoever you want.

"Well that sucks.. If you ever need a ride home since you're way too drunk, just give me a call yeah?" She says and you nodded your head, just snuggling against her side a little bit more. This might be the last time as you planned to distance yourself from Bada. Just enough for you to hopefully lose feelings and go back to the way it used to be. No strings attached.

"Will do.. Anywayssss, let's head back now? I know you need to be early tomorrow." you slowly got up and stretched and Bada couldn't help but wrap her arms around your waist, just holding you close to her. She's slowly coming in to terms that she may be falling for you though she needs to make sure that you feel the same way, too.

The moment you closed your apartment door after she walked you home was the last time you allowed yourself to be with her. As much as you wanted to keep doing whatever you had with her, it was best to let go rather than keep yourself from falling without any assurance that she'll be there to catch you.

"Thank you, Bada.. But I don't think my heart could handle this anymore.." you sighed and headed to bed with your heart heavy. You didn't even bother texting Bada anything before you slept. You were way too lost in your own misery that night.

🌸💮🌸💮🌸💮🌸💮🌸💮🌸💮🌸💮🌸💮🌸

Bada hasn't been herself the past few days. She felt like she was going insane because she hasn't seen you or heard from you since that night. It was like you're avoiding her or actively hiding from her. You wouldn't reply to her texts, when she tried to call your phone it was unavailable. It's driving her nuts and her friends are genuinely concerned for her.

"Unnie, what's wrong? We noticed that you're not yourself the past few days.. We're worried about you.." Lusher asked, finally building the courage to ask Bada about what's going on. Their other team members are getting concerned as well. Bada rarely smiled, is always on her phone and would rush out every single day which is not like her at all.

"I don't know, Lusher.. Y/N isn't talking to me anymore. I haven't seen or heard from her for days now. It's like she's avoiding me completely. It hurts.." Bada sighed and just stared at her phone that was on the table, hoping, wishing, praying that you would respond to her messages or even call but nothing happened which made her more upset.

"Heard she's hanging out with some of our old friends from uni days at this newly opened bar tonight. Wanna go so you guys can finally talk?" Tatter asked, having overheard Bada's dilemma. Without any thoughts , Bada immediately agreed. She just wants to see you, talk to you and apologize for whatever she did wrong just so you would talk to her again. She misses you so bad.

When they got there, Bada began looking around in search of you and there you were sitting with friends and drinking. You were never the drinker type but because you wanted to forget the feelings you had for Bada, you agreed to hang out with your old friends from uni. You're willing to do anything just to ease the pain you felt. It wasn't supposed to be this way and you blame yourself for believing yours and Bada's play pretend.

As the night grew deeper, the more you drank and when you felt you've had enough, you stumbled out of the bar to get some fresh air and maybe call a cab not to go home but to hang out at the park where you last hang out with Bada. It became a routine now for you, tipsy or sober, you always find yourself at the park just to cry your sorrows and heartbreak away.

Meanwhile, Bada excused herself to her friends. She saw you get up and get out of the bar so she followed you. She knows that she's coming off as creepy and stalker-like but all she wants is to talk to you and maybe hold you in her arms one last time if you decide to walk out from whatever you had with Bada. She followed the cab that you rode with her motorbike until it stopped at the park where you last hung out with her. She could feel her heart break a little as she watched you stumble out, your soft sniffles can be heard as it was already quiet out. She doesn't even have to look closely to know that you have been crying before you even got out of that cab.

Bada parked her motorbike safely before following you and what she saw broke her even more. You were sitting at the spot where she would usually take you since it has a clear view of the night skies after you once told her that you loved star gazing. You were crying and she sat beside you, pulling you to her chest which startled you a bit and making you cry even more.

"Y/N, what's going on? Please tell me.. I've been so worried about you the past few days. Did I do something wrong?" she asked softly and you tried to calm yourself down, even just a little bit but you couldn't stop the tears from falling down your cheeks.

"Nothing's wrong, Bada. Everything's good, you didn't do anything wrong." you told her and she sighed as she rubbed your back to help you calm down.

"Then why are you avoiding me?" She asked and you took a shaky breath before looking at her in the eyes. It's now or never for you. You're not only torturing yourself but also her at the process and she doesn't deserve it so you muster all the courage you can get to tell her the truth.

"I'm not okay, Bada! I've been lying to myself, I've been lying to you whenever I tell you that I'm okay with whatever we have between us.. But it's not okay! It hurts so much, it hurts so bad so here, I'll tell you the truth.. I don't want to keep secrets just to keep you with me.." you finally bursted and Bada just looked at you in complete shock. She didn't know that you were hurting from the situation and it broke her heart to pieces hearing the truth from you. Before Bada could start talking and apologizing, you stopped her as you continued your outburst.

"I love you, Bada. I'm so damn in love with you and I don't know what the fuck to do with myself or these feelings because there's no assurance that you'll ever feel the same way as me.." you confessed and Bada just pulled you in for a kiss. A kiss filled with all the bottled up feelings she had for you.

"Fuck, Y/N.. I love you too.." She says when both of you pulled away. A smile made its way on your lips hearing those words from her. Maybe it wasn't a cruel summer with her after all.

#bada lee #bada lee x reader #swf2 x reader #swf2

161 notes · View notes