#joel miller pedro pascal
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✨Captured in the Woods Part 1: Knock at the Cabin Door✨
Series Masterlist
A/N: First part of my little horror au is finished! I hope you enjoy, and please tell me what you think of it after reading ☺️ Not beta read, and this is just a fun project I’ve wanted to try for a while. I am a big horror fan, so needed to create my own horror story. This will be 2-3 parts!
Chapter Summary: You and Joel rent a quiet cabin for the weekend, but you’re in for an unexpected surprise when a stranger knocks on your door in the middle of the night.
Pairing: Joel x fem! reader
Rating: Explicit (18+ Only MDNI)
Word Count: 5.3k
Chapter Tags: Smut, fingering, flirting, sweet pet names, kidnapping, mentions of cannibals, horror au, no outbreak au, brief choking scene
Dividers by @saradika-graphics
The rustic feel of the lavish cabin glows brightly in the warm summer evening. A small weekend getaway just for the two of you, to get a little break from the rush of Austin. A sweet, romantic gesture Joel planned as he picked out a secluded, quiet cabin out in the middle of nowhere. Close to Big Bend National Park, just on the outskirts where you can hear the crickets chirp and see the flicker of fireflies dance around in the countryside of Texas.
You place your hands on the smooth oak kitchen counter as you look out the big glass window, into the calm darkness as you take in the quiet night, alone with Joel. “How did you find this place anyway, Joel?”
He comes up behind you and places his meaty hands gently on the sides your hips as his lips brush against the base of your neck. “Jus’ looked around a bit on the internet with the help of Ellie and Sarah. This one was the only one available for this weekend, so I jumped at the chance of bookin’ it.”
“Oh, is that so?” you smile as his lips graze over your skin as electric sparks zap down your body.
“Mhm,” he hums as he kisses sensually right at the base of the shell of your ear as you groan in pleasure. “Wanted some alone time with my girl.”
He spins you around as his hips dig into yours and pushes you against the edge of the counter. You wrap your arms around his neck and smile up at him as his arms curl around your back. “What do you think they’re getting up to this weekend?” you ask as his warm breath blows over you.
“I don’t even wanna know. Tommy’s got his eyes on ‘em, so hopefully Ellie’s mindin’ her manners around the house. That one’s a little troublemaker,” he laughs as he bends down and places his forehead against yours.
“Yeah, but you love her,” you giggle as he pulls you tighter against his broad chest.
“Yeah, I do. Jus’ like I love you, pretty girl. Now c’mere.” He crowds your body and cups the side of your face as his lips gently meet yours. You smell the mahogany and fresh soap scents that douse his blue flannel as he groans against the taste of your glossy lips. You part your lips and let him inside, feeling the way he licks into your mouth fervently as you taste him, drink him down like you’re parched of his flavor.
He lifts you up and perches you on the edge of the counter as you wrap your legs around his strong back and let him smother you in an intense kiss. His hand trails up your inner thigh, stopping just at the edge of your denim shorts as his finger flirts against your nearly dripping core. You moan into his mouth as his thumb presses against your heated center, finding just the right spot as he starts to rub up and down against the material where your bundle of nerves is begging to be touched.
You start to pant into his mouth as his thumb hooks underneath your shorts and works his way to rubbing against your puffy clit. You press your lips to the shell of his ear and beg for more as your nails dig into the back of his flannel. “Joel, mmmm - fuck,” you moan as you hear the sloshing of his thumb moving against your wet pussy.
“What’s that, baby girl? You want more?” he murmurs against your slack jaw as he takes his tongue and laps it slowly up the side of your face. Two of his fingers melt inside your dripping hole as he curls up, up, up, reaching that spongy spot that makes you moan loudly while your fingers twist around his greying curls.
“Gonna come, gorgeous? C’mon, give it to me. That’s it,” he instructs as you hear how drenched you are with the way he ruts up inside you. His thumb meticulously circles your clit, and fuck does it feel good. You’re almost there, so close. It never takes him long to get you there, always knows exactly where to press your buttons.
“Joel, I’m gonna…”
“That’s it, love. Let me hear it. Almost…”
Bang, bang, bang.
Suddenly, three loud knocks pound against the front door, and Joel’s fingers quickly slide out of you as you gasp out in horror. “Joel, I thought there weren’t any other cabins around here.”
His eyes grow wide as those deep chocolate irises go grave. “There aren’t,” he gulps as he helps you down from the counter. Another three knocks echo through the little cabin, and fear creeps through your bones as your body grows cold.
“Christ, who the fuck is that?” he whispers harshly as he adjusts his unbuttoned flannel and turns back toward you as his eyes look panicked. Rarely anything scares Joel Miller, so seeing him like this absolutely terrifies you.
Another sharp banging sound comes from the entryway, and you grab onto his sleeve as if that’ll make the scary noises stop. “Joel, I’m scared,” you whisper as his jaw twitches and eyebrows knit together.
He cups the side of your face, and the way he’s looking at you all worried like scares the hell out of you. “It’s okay, baby. I’m gonna take care of it. Jus’ stay close, okay? ‘M not gonna let anyone hurt you.” He grabs the biggest, sharpest knife in the side drawer, and your eyes grow as large as the moon’s. Joel’s protective side was always at reach, but tonight he was a full on wolf.
The wooden floorboards creak with every step Joel takes closer to the front door. You see a large shadow looming over the outside porch, and your face drops as sheer terror rains through your veins. “Joel, wait,” you whine as you reach out and grab the edge of his sleeve, tugging him back just enough where you can keep a grip on him. “I don’t want you to open that door.”
Joel licks his bottom lip and sighs as he kisses the top of your forehead gently. “Baby, I have to. They might not stop if I don’t. I gotta say somethin’. Maybe it’s just some kids messin’ around.”
“Be careful,” you whimper out as he drags his thumb over the bottom of your lip slowly.
“Always am.” He drops his hand from you, and you feel like you’re missing an entire limb. You hear more rustling from the front porch and see the lights flickering from the outside as another loud bang sounds from the door. You wince from the awful noise and stay five paces behind him.
Joel reaches for the door handle and yanks it open as the rush of a warm summer’s evening slips through the doorway. He sticks his head out and looks both ways as he grasps the knife tighter in his hand and clenches his jaw. “Alright, whoever you are jus’ come on out. Quit messin’ around,” he grits through his teeth as you see how angry he looks, furrowed brows and tight wrinkles mapped out on his forehead as he rakes a hand aggressively through his salt-and-pepper scruff.
The only thing you hear are his leather boots scuff against the wood and the soft sounds of crickets and crows in the distance. There’s no more aggressive knocking, no more hooded figures walking around the front porch, there’s just quiet sounds of nature. How strange.
Joel huffs out as he starts to walk back in. “Well, that was weird. Whoever that was, I guess they’re gone now.”
You catch a sigh of relief, but before you can fully relax, you see the large presence of a man in a black hoodie and dark jeans. You gasp out as your eyes go wide. “Joel, behind you!”
Before he has a chance to react, the hooded figure covers his mouth with a white rag, and then Joel starts to hit the floor. You scream out and try to run to him, but your body is jolted back as someone grabs you around the waist and covers your mouth with some kind of tainted cloth. You can’t even speak Joel’s name as your world starts to fade to black. You feel darkness take over, and the last thing you see is Joel’s limp body being dragged outside the front door before you fall into a deep sleep.
Your head is so foggy, your eyes slowly peel open as you try to stop the excessive pounding in your throbbing head. It’s like someone has struck you with a metal pan, the pain practically unbearable. You muster all your strength to keep your eyes open, your vision slowly turning from blurry to crystal clear as you see just where you are. In a dark, rusty basement.
The room is dimly lit, dusty with the smell of mildew and dripping water permeating through the thick air. You can barely stand the stench as it hits your nostrils, burning all the way down to your lungs. The wallpaper is faded and dark brown, the paint peeling off in thick clumps. The stairs are old, creaky things with the wood hollow and cracking, like they could collapse under the weight of nothing. A metal pitchfork, a rusty shotgun, and bells of hay sit tucked away into a dark corner of the room. Everything else is rustic and worn, like this is the basement of an older man, maybe a farmer, or a deranged psychopath.
Just when you’re awake enough to come to your senses, you realize your wrists are burning like someone stuck them inside a sharp thorn bush. When you look down, you see you’re bound to a metal pipe that runs through the ground and goes directly through the crumbling wall. You try to writhe and pull your hands free but it’s no use, you’re stuck like glue and only making the pain excruciating.
You sigh defeatedly and when you look up, your face drops as you see Joel passed out with his hands tied about his head, attached to a couple of bolted bars in the wall. No, no, no! This can’t be happening, this can’t be real. You try once again to pull yourself free, but you end up pulling the rope tighter as you cry out in pain.
“Fuck,” you whine as you feel wet teardrops splash down your cheeks. You look back up and plead for Joel to wake up. “Joel, Joel!”
You hear a low groan as he starts to shift his weight, slowly trying to lift his drooped head as you call his name louder, this time more desperate as panic floods your veins. He gradually lifts his head as he flutters his eyes open, the fringe of his thick eyelashes blinking open as honey flecked eyes meet your gaze.
It takes him a minute to come back to the present as he groans again through the haze. He blinks a few times, gradually getting his wits about him as his eyes suddenly snap open in attention, and his face becomes panicked. He pulls on the binds, setting his strong jaw as he grits his teeth together and growls. You see it on his face when he looks at you. Panicked, angry, confused. He knows as much as you do which is nothing.
“Shit,” he mumbles angrily as his eyes relax once he sees you. “Christ. Are you okay? Are you hurt?” he asks adamantly as he tugs again and winces as the tethered ropes nip at his wrists.
“I’m… I’m okay as I can be. Joel, what the fuck happened? Where are we?” you ask wildly as another tear soaks through the thigh of your denim shorts.
“I don’t know, baby. Jus’ try to stay calm. I’ll find a way out of this mess one way or another. There’s no way in hell I’m…”
His words are cut off from the creaking of the floorboards upstairs. You stop your movements, letting your hands relax against the weight of the firm pipe. Another creak sounds through the upstairs as you start to hear a steady rhythm of footsteps on the floor above the basement.
Joel’s eyebrows furrow into a worry line as you try to calm your breathing instead of the panic attack that you’re holding onto like a thin piece of thread that’s about to snap in half. He looks like he’s about to say something as his worried brown eyes stare back at you until you hear the slam of a door and hear heavy boots making their way down to the basement. Down to where you and Joel are.
Your heart races in your chest, sweat beading on the corners of your forehead as you silently pray that whoever it is will turn around and leave you and Joel alone. You gasp when you see the face of an older man appear, his brown worn boots scuffing down the fragile steps until you see his face appear out of the dark shadows. You suck in a breath when you see exactly what he looks like in the glow of the dim light.
He’s tall, has ashy blonde hair, piercing blue eyes that could turn a man’s heart into pure ice, and looks like a complete monster. Scars pave the way under his right eye, a snarl is encased in his angry expressions, and his fists clench at his sides. He’s wearing dirt covered jeans and a tan jacket that you swear has blood stains bleaching the worn material. This is so bad. Really bad.
He comes over to you first, every step he takes looks like a panther that’s about to pounce and attack you right on the spot. When he bends down to your level, a dark chuckle comes out of his dirty mouth, and you try to make yourself small against the cold wall, but it’s no use. You’re trapped like a little mouse with nowhere to go.
He reaches out a grimy hand and cups your chin tightly as his eyes rake savagely down your body. You try to writhe out of his grasp, but he only cups your chin tighter until his dirty nail beds are digging into your skin. “My, my. What do we have here? You sure are a pretty little thing,” he cackles as you see Joel’s eyes blaze into the back of his head.
Joel tugs hard on his bindings and scowls down at your captor. “Get your fuckin’ filthy hands off her!” he growls sharply.
The blonde man with fading scars drops his hand from your face and shoves you back against the wall as he stands up and trots over to Joel with his fists clenched. “What did you say?” he sneers at Joel.
“I said get your fuckin’ hands off my girl,” he warns again with the pits of his dark eyes. The tall man scowls and throws his hand in the air, his palm meeting Joel’s cheek with a harsh sound reverberating off the walls of the damp basement. The slap is hard enough to make Joel grunt and flinch his eyes closed.
“Trying to tell me what to do in my house? You’ve gone and fucked up now,” the man spits out.
He grabs a hold of Joel’s neck and squeezes until Joel is red in the face, honey eyes slowly glossing over as he tries to get a gasp of breath. You bang your wrists against the solid pipe and cry out, “No, stop! Please, just stop! Don’t hurt him!”
Your words seem to stir something in him because he lets go and turns sharply to you as he cackles. Joel coughs violently and fills his lungs with air again while his purple tinted face fades back to tan. “Wait till my brother gets home from his little outing. The rest of the family are upstairs preparing the table, and boy are you in for a little treat,” he cackles as he throws his head back and rasps out.
“Why are you doing this?” you yell with tears welling in your eyes as you dig your sneakers into the cold floor.
He bends down to your level and eyes you with those sharp cold irises. “Because. You were in our house. My family’s cabin, so you were fair game. You walked into the trap, so it’s only right. It’s that time of the month where we’ve run out of food, and we need fresh meat. Your meat.”
You stare at him all wide-eyed and blinking back thick tears as you gasp in horror. “What did you say?”
“Your meat, sweetheart. When I said you’re in for a treat, I meant you are the treat. You two are the special guests, and I’m gonna take you first.” He points at you coldly as he pushes himself up from the floor and starts to back up toward the creaky stairs.
“I’m gonna fuckin’ tear you to shreds once I get out of these ropes!” Joel growls as he snarls his teeth together and tugs on the ropes again.
The disgusting man takes a few strides over to Joel and pushes at his broad chest. “I’d like to see you try,” he says with gritted teeth at Joel. “You two just shut up and keep it down till I come back down and get you. And oh, were you maybe wondering where these were?” He holds up a silver ring with the key to Joel’s Chevy, and both of your eyes go wide. He has the truck keys. Fuck. He slides them back in his pocket as he smirks your way. You can see Joel biting his tongue as he watches him turn.
Before he makes it to the stairs, you snarl at him and yell as loud as you can. “You monster!” Your lips quiver as you feel a warm tear roll down your cheek. You bite the inside of your cheek as he turns and snickers your way.
“My name’s not monster, sweetheart. It’s David.” With that, he pounds up the dirt covered stairs and slams the door hard, leaving you and Joel alone in the empty basement.
You feel it then, the panic starting to settle in. Your entire body starts to tremble, and you feel so cold and scared that you can barely hear Joel trying to call your name across the room. You start to break down in tears, feeling the panic attack taking over as you start to ramble off stuttering words as you stare at the dirt encased ground with tears falling down to the tops of your thighs.
“This is it. We’re gonna die. We’re never… never gonna see Ellie or Sarah or T… Tommy or Maria. And we’re never gonna get to… never gonna…” You can’t even finish your sentence as you hug your knees to your chest and lay your head against the cold pipe you're tied to.
“Hey, look at me. Baby, please,” Joel pleads as you hear how adamant his words are. You feel so weak, so defeated that you can barely pick your head up to look at him, but he tries again anyways.
“Look at me, sweetheart. Please. C’mon now. Let me see those pretty eyes.”
You slowly blink and look up through your long eyelashes as your shakes die down just a little by the soft timbre of his deep voice. “There ya go, attagirl. Now jus’ breathe for me, okay? Can you do that for me, sweet girl?”
You nod your head up and down as you take some nice deep breaths, soothing your panic attack by looking into those pretty honey colored eyes and listening to his soft voice. “That’s it. Nice and slow. I need you to be brave for me. Can you be my brave girl?” You nod your head silently as a whimper escapes your lips. “Need to hear you say it,” he asks as he awaits your answer.
“Yes, I can be brave,” you whine out as you suck in anymore tears that might fall.
“Good girl. Now, see that sharp edge on the pipe there? I need you to cut yourself loose, sweetheart. Rub the rope up and down. It should work. Jus’ be careful.”
Your eyes dart down to the rusty pipe, and now you see what he’s talking about. Right on the far left side is a jagged edge that may be sharp enough to cut the ropes with. You carefully move your throbbing wrists up and down, catching the edge as you start to saw your way through the thick ropes.
Your wrists burn with every up and down motion you make, but you’re making headway the more you rub against the rough edge. Your skin feels like fire as you see the ropes cutting into your delicate skin. “Ahh, fuck. It’s tight, my wrists,” you whine as you continue rubbing up and down quickly.
“Almost there, baby. C’mon, jus’ a little more,” Joel coaxes as he encourages you on. He’s always so good, no matter what’s going on. You weren’t gonna die tonight, no. You’d fight like hell before they took either of you out.
A few more sharp tugs against the edge and the ropes are falling away from your bruised wrists. You push yourself up off the damp floor and run to Joel as you reach for his bindings and quickly start untying him. You watch his eyes turn from wild amber to soft brown as he stares at you, telling you just how much he loves you with only his eyes. It almost makes a tear spill down your cheek, but you have to stay strong and focus.
You grit your teeth sharply until you successfully pull him loose. His arms come down quickly, and then he’s tugging you to him as he pulls you in by your waist. He looks so scared, scared of losing you with that worry line mapping out on his forehead, but he won’t break. He’ll stay strong for you, just like he always does.
He cups your face softly as he stares down at you with pensive brown eyes. “We’re gonna get out of here alive, baby. ‘M not gonna lose you tonight. We’re gonna find a way out. And we will see Ellie, Sarah, Tommy, and Maria again. And goddamn it I’m gonna see you walk down that aisle in September. I’m gonna make you my wife, and we’re gonna go on our honeymoon, and we’re gonna do everything we ever planned, okay? You jus’ need to be brave for me. We’re gonna have to fight to make it out of here, but we will get out. Mark my words, baby. We’re gettin’ out of here in one piece. ‘M not losin’ the love of my life. Not here, not ever.” His words are adamant, bold, permanent. And you know he’s right. He’ll fight like hell before he ever loses you.
“Joel, I’m scared,” you whisper as he leans his forehead down to yours.
“I know. I am, too. But you need to trust me, okay? We’re gonna get out of here. Alright?” he says with his mouth grazing gently against yours.
“Okay. I trust you.” He crashes his lips down on yours like it’s the last kiss he’ll ever give you. It’s desperate, longing, intense, and you taste fear and love mixing together on the edge of your tongue. You sink into his broad chest, curling your fingers into his blue flannel as you melt into his plush lips, memorizing the way he feels and tastes against your mouth. After a few more seconds, he pulls back and runs a hand gently down the back of your hair.
“That’s my good girl. Now c’mon, let’s see if we can find anything useful down here.” He pulls you behind him as you search the area, swiping your fingers on the grimy walls and scavenging for anything you can use. There’s nothing really here that looks even remotely useful.
Joel grabs the shotgun, but there’s no ammo, and a part of the gun looks cracked. “Fuckin’ useless,” Joel huffs as he throws it in a bed of hay and runs his fingers over the rusty pitchfork. “Even this thing looks like it’s about to fall apart. There’s gotta be somethin’ upstairs we can use. Ain’t shit down here,” he snarls as he kicks at a stack of hay.
You cautiously grab his thick forearm, and his eyes soften just a bit as he turns toward you. “Hey, we’ll find something. We have to.” You say it with a large gulp as you try to keep down all the fear that’s simmering in your gut.
Joel nods his head as his jaw ticks and grabs your wrist. “You’re right. C’mon, let’s get out of this filthy basement.” He keeps his grip on you as you follow him up the creaky steps, being careful not to be too loud incase David comes back down.
Before you get to the last step, Joel sits you down and grabs a hold of your shoulders as he looks at you with careful brown eyes that scream to pay attention. “Listen to me carefully, baby. We’re gonna have to be smart ‘bout this. I don’t know what lies ahead out this door or what those people are capable of, but I’m thinkin’ we’re gonna have to fight.”
Your eyes grow wide at what he means. He means if worse comes to worse you’re going to have to do what needs to be done. Even if that means killing them. You cringe at the thought, but that’s what they were going to do to you, just worse.
Suddenly your breathing picks up again as your body starts to tremble. You have to fight, this isn’t a dream, this is real. Your eyes blow out as you feel the room start to become blurry, but Joel cups your face and brings you back to a steady place. “Hey, look at me. Breathe, baby. Jus’ focus on me,” he coaxes as his worried brown eyes melt into yours. Your breathing slows, heart rate coming down as you focus on the deep bravado of his voice.
“There ya go, sweetheart. Easy now. That’s it,” he lulls as his calloused thumb traces patterns up and down your jawline. He leans forward and rests his forehead on yours as his lips press softly into yours, just enough for you to keep a hold on him a little longer.
He pulls his lips away and grazes them along your forehead as he whispers, “You’ve gotta stay alive, baby. I need you to focus for me. Watch your back and follow my lead. And remember how I taught you to use a gun?”
“Yeah,” you reply nervously as you slide your hand up and grip his flannel tightly.
“Don’t be afraid to use one if you have to. It’s only self defense, and I have a feeling we’re gonna have to use some kind of weapon to make it out of here.”
You gulp and nod your head slowly. “Okay. So, what do we do first?”
“We’re gonna have to try to get a layout of the house, figure out where everyone is. I don’t know how far away we are from the cabin, and I don’t know if they moved my truck. So, we’re gonna have to get the keys, make it back to the truck, and make a run for it.”
“Okay, yeah. We can do that… I think,” you whisper as you stare down at the dusty steps and pine over what you’re going to have to do.
Joel cups your chin and lifts your face so you can get a clear look at him. “Hey, you’ve got this. You can do it. Jus’ take a breath for me, stay alert, and watch your back. Stay behind me and keep your guard up. I believe in you.”
When he runs his thumb down your jawline and grazes against your bottom lip, you kiss his fingertips and hold his large hand in yours. “I love you, Joel.”
“And I love you, my beautiful fiancé.” He leans forward and covers your lips with his as you breathe in his woodsy pine scent and fresh coffee taste that always lingers on his lips.
You sit there for a moment just wading in each other’s presence, holding on to each other if only for just another few seconds, but then time comes to a halt. “You ready?” he asks as he looks at you with large brown eyes.
“Yeah, let’s get this over with,” you murmur as he grabs your hand and leads you up the last step. When he reaches for the rusted door handle it doesn’t budge. He tries jiggling the handle again, but nothing happens.
“Shit, it’s locked,” he huffs as he sets his jaw and flexes his right hand into a tight fist. He rakes a hand slowly through his scruff as he contemplates his choices. When he looks back over at you, his eyes go wide with a bright idea. “You have a bobby pin in your hair by chance?”
You lift an eyebrow as you realize that you do have one. “Yeah, I actually do.” You twist your fingers in your hair and pull a thin brown bobby pin from your locks and hand it to Joel.
“You’re a lifesaver,” he says with a warm smile as he kisses your cheek and then turns to the faded door. He carefully sticks one of the long ends into the keyhole and meticulously works at the lock, closing one eye as he focuses on each turn of the bobby pin.
You hear the lock working, each click making your heart race as Joel clenches his jaw and concentrates to get the lock to release for him. He squints as he grunts out in frustration, cursing under his breath as he works and works and works at the incessantly stubborn lock. Just when you think it won’t work, the lock makes a loud click as the door handle unlocks.
“Got ya,” Joel says excitedly as he slips the bobby pin back into the front pocket of your denim cutoffs.
“My hero,” you gush as he chuckles and smirks your way.
“Always,” Joel smiles as he leans down and brushes his lips against yours, giving you a lasting kiss that you’ll surely burn into the back of your head as you figure out how the fuck to get out of here.
He rests his large palms on each side of your face and looks at you with big brown eyes as he takes a large breath. “Okay, you ready?”
You gulp down your fear and nod your head as you cover his hand with yours. “Mhm. Let’s get the fuck out of here,” you whisper out bravely.
“Attagirl. Alright, follow me. Keep low to the ground and stay behind me. Keep your guard up. And remember, I love you so much. This ain’t the end.”
“I love you, too. My forever,” you smile as his lips curl up into a sideways smirk. Your favorite smile of his. He grazes his lips over your knuckles and then slowly pulls the door open, careful not to make a sound as he stays low to the ground and crawls out of the room.
“Follow me,” he whispers as he leads you into a long, narrow hallway that’s only lit with dim lamps as the overhead lights flicker on and off.
You gulp and follow him into the unknown, staying low to the ground as you venture into a danger zone full of jump scares and men dressed as monsters. But you’re ready, you have to be. Let them come. They wouldn’t get you again. Not this time. You’d get them.
So, let the games begin.
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Turtle Doves | Joel Miller
Part Eleven
Chapter Directory
Series Summary: In which two broken souls connect so deeply, that if one should perish, the other would surely die of a broken heart. (slow burn, timeline changes. After TLOU1, before TLOU2, assumed knowledge of infected, uses elements from both show and game)
Series Warnings: Graphic depictions of violence, death, and sexual content.
Also cross-posted on Wattpad and AO3. Link to my masterlist for everything else I’ve posted!
"I don't feel right dragging you into these things. We got lucky the past two times but sooner or later luck runs out."
After walking several miles in the heat, Joel eventually finds a shaded spot for us to take a break. He puts his things down and walks off, leaving me by myself. Without thinking about my actions, I put my bag down and sit, bringing my knees up to my chest. What I should be doing is ripping the map out of my bag and taking note of where the other stars are located, but I can't seem to make my arms move.
A small part of my mind thinks I'm overreacting. At the end of the day, nothing happened to me, they weren't able to fulfill their twisted plans. But I can't seem to shake the ghostly feeling of the man's hands on my hips, the feeling of him trying to get my pants off. My chest can still feel the man on top of me, holding me hostage against the floor. Is this what the children felt before they were murdered? The thought of children experiencing, to a harsher extent, what I just did is an unbearable thought.
Joel walks back to me and wipes his hands on his pants. From my peripheral I can see him look down at me, but he doesn't say anything. Truthfully, there are no words he could say that would break my mind out of this foggy trance. It's almost surreal to think about what could have happened if Joel wasn't there to save me. As the thought dawns on me, I look up to him. I see dried blood on his hands and some splattered on his shirt.
I know I should be thanking him vehemently right now, but it's as if my mouth has been sewn shut. My body has weirdly shut down on me, maybe as some sort of stress response or something. His eyes tear away from me and he puts his bag on his back, probably wanting to keep going. We still have a few more hours of sunlight left and we need to make the most of it. Staying out here in the open at night is not a situation I want to be in. So I force myself up and put my bag back on my shoulders.
Our boots crunch the small pebbles on the pavement as the two of us move forward. Typically, during these bouts of silence my mind is on the killers, but only the recurring images of the men back at the town are found. With each step I try to work through the thoughts, knowing I can't allow myself to be stuck in this state of mind forever.
When I left Boston I knew that people like them were out here. I guess a delusional part of me just never thought I'd actually encounter them. It's obvious to me now that I had been completely ignorant and naive when I decided to go to Omaha. Had Joel not been there with me, I likely would have died in that town. And this trip would have been made in vain.
Instead of dwelling on what could have been, I guess I should be thankful that it ended when it did. Some people don't get as lucky as I did, if luck is really the right word to describe the situation. Those men are dead now, no longer able to prey upon anyone else who stumbles into their town, and for that I am thankful.
Joel and I walk until the sun begins setting and we find ourselves in a less-than-ideal spot. There are really no places to hunker down for the night, no houses or businesses for miles. We're passing through a part of the country that's mainly taken up by forest. By the time we find somewhere to call it a night, the moon is fully up in the sky.
There's a small campground tucked away in some trees, I can make out the silhouettes of campers through the woods. My hearing becomes hyper-aware of the surroundings, listening for any infected, or people, that may be watching us. Snapping twigs and branches are the only sounds I can hear, but that doesn't stop me from being paranoid.
We choose an average-looking camper on the outskirts and make sure it's clear before we take our bags off our backs for the night. It's arguably one of my favorite parts of the day. The camper is a plain beige in color, but alike other buildings, is now adorned with vined plants. There's a small fire pit in front of it, surrounded by run-down chairs, but it's more than enough for me.
Joel lets me in the camper as he goes about trying to find firewood. Out in the middle of nowhere it's probably safe to start a fire. Sure, there's still some risk but it's not nearly as high as it would be near a town. While he goes off to do that, I place my bag on the floor in front of the pull-out bed. There's only one bed in the camper, and I know I'm going to give it to Joel. It's quite literally the very least I can do for him, and I feel guilty for staying silent all day now that I've had time to process what happened in town.
While Joel is gone, I take the time to clean up the bed for him. I strip the old sheets from the mattress and rummage around until I find a clean set up in one of the cupboards. They're a nice airy linen and I know fresh sheets are hard to come by nowadays. I tuck the corners underneath the mattress, put the new pillow cases on, and smooth out the top sheet. As a finishing touch, I fold the top down to make it look nice for him.
Feeling overly cautious tonight, I wait for him to return before I leave the camper. I hear wood clattering to the ground upon his arrival, he must have found some decent pieces. The camper door squeaks as I exit, and he spares me a glance before constructing the fire. I sit in one of the chairs while he lights the wood, watching as it smokes before catching the flame. He takes his bag inside the camper as well, but comes back only seconds later. Taking a seat across from me, we both stare into the fire.
The flames flicker and dance with shades of orange and yellow, giving us warmth for the chilly night. My eyes glance up to Joel, who's staring at the fire with intensity, like he's deep in thought. I know I've put this off for too long, and I clear my throat to finally break the silence. I'm not sure what I want to say, and a simple thank you seems too mundane for what he did for me. I bite the inside of my cheek and decide to just find the words as I go. He looks up to me, waiting for me to spit something out.
"Um, I want to say thank you for what you did back there." I'm unable to keep eye contact with him, my eyes turn down from his.
"Was nothin'." He casually speaks, his voice gruff from not using it all day. My head shakes back and forth, knowing he's lying.
"No, it wasn't nothing. You've saved my life twice now, and what have I done for you? Got us into situations where we both could've been killed." Guilt lays heavy in my stomach and I start to feel ashamed of myself. Finding some shred of courage, I look back up to him.
"Coulda happened to anyone." He reasons, but I know he's only being polite. I'm not sure why he's being so cordial about it, most people would be furious I almost got them killed. Nervously, I lace my fingers together and pick at the skin next to my thumbnail.
"Maybe so, but I don't feel right dragging you into these things. We got lucky the past two times but sooner or later luck runs out. What I'm trying to say is that I'm giving you an out. You don't have to let me tag along anymore, it's okay. I understand." As the words leave my mouth, I feel stinging tears in my eyes. I'm frustrated with myself for risking this man's life, mad at myself for being so useless. Joel's eyes stare into mine, and I can almost swear he can see into my soul.
"If I left behind everyone who I got into a sticky situation with, I'd have nobody." His words are slow and intentional. A nagging thought eats away at me,
"You have a family to get back to, Joel. Those people miss you, they need you. I don't have anyone waiting for me." The truth hurts when I hear it out loud, and it's like someone has stabbed me through the heart as I put my thoughts into the world. Joel shakes his head, disagreeing with what I'm saying.
"What about James?" I almost laugh at his words, but play it off as a cough and rub my nose.
"James? No. He just keeps me around because I bring in the extra ration cards. I think his wife hates me if I'm being honest." I grimace, knowing that James' wife definitely doesn't like me, and only tolerates me because she too benefits from the pill running.
"He cares about you." Joel's words are unusually soft and genuine. I put my restless hands on my knees and shift my weight around in the chair.
"Well, that may be so, but he's not family. I lost mine ten years ago. But you still have yours, you need to get back to them alive. These days family is the most precious thing to have, and I'll never forgive myself if something happens to you because of me." My throat constricts with emotion, and images of my late husband and precious baby pop in my mind. The tears from earlier fall down my cheeks, and I try to wipe them casually so Joel doesn't see.
The conversation seems to die, the crackling fire fills the air. My chest rattles with a jagged breath and I chew on my bottom lip to keep from losing it all. Joel rubs his hands together and opens his mouth, but closes it. A deep frown has settled on his face, but I don't push him for answers. Instead, I focus my attention down to my hands and pick the hangnail I started earlier. The skin is almost peeled off completely until Joel's voice speaks up.
"What are you going to do after Omaha?" He asks, and it's the last thing I figured he'd ask me. My eyebrows raise slightly and I shrug.
"Probably go back to Boston. There's nothing for me anywhere else." He nods his head and looks back into the fire.
"I meant what I said back by Boston, it's still safer if we travel together. I'm not takin' the out." He says as he stares into the flames. My eyes stare at his face intently, trying to figure out why this man is being so forgiving and kind to me. He owes me no loyalty and in fact, I'm the one who owes him. I owe him more than I can ever repay.
"How far do you have to travel after Omaha?" Curiosity gets the best of me, and I'm taking his newly conversational attitude as an invitation to ask my own questions. He puffs out a breath,
"A while. I'm headed out to Wyoming." He says and I can tell he's withholding some information, which is fine. I know he's likely only doing so to protect his family's whereabouts, and after all, I'm still pretty much a stranger to him. I've only known him for a handful of days.
"That's quite a ways. But I'm sure they'll all be happy to see you again." The thought of having a family to return to makes my heart ache with a longing that I know can never be filled. My fingers grasp the gold chain around my neck, and I see Joel's eyes on the necklace, but he doesn't say anything.
What I wouldn't give to be able to hold my baby one more time. I miss his little hands reaching out for me, begging to be picked up. His laugh that used to carry through the house. And I miss Ryan's touch, his cool and confident nature. I miss the way he used to come home with a dozen colored roses, knowing that even though I was a florist, I still loved being gifted flowers. He would always pick "the most beautiful ones for his most beautiful girl" he always told me. They were the lights of my life, and since that fateful night, my heart has been filled with the ash of the extinguished flame.
Before I can stop them, tears run down my face and I can only hope the darkness of night masks them. How can I possibly be okay with following Joel, putting him at risk, when I know what his stakes are? He probably has his own kid waiting for him, his own wife worried if she'll ever see him again or not. I wish I could make him go so that I'm not a liability.
My sniffling nose gives away that I'm crying and I quickly get up from my spot, not wanting to burden Joel with my own issues. I turn away from him and walk into the woods, but not far enough that I lose sight of the fire. Strained sobs come over me, the stress and sadness of the day all coming down on me at once. Maybe I'm just too fragile to be doing this, maybe I simply am just not strong enough.
I slouch against a tree and put my head in my hands, wiping the tears and rubbing my nose. I haven't cried this much since the first year of the outbreak and here I am, faced with adversity and crumbling under the pressure. It's pathetic, and I hate that I'm not resilient enough to handle things better.
Once my tears dry I decide to just stay out here in the tranquil woods for a little longer. While I sit here, I try to prepare myself for Joel going back on his word, saying that he's going to be taking the out after all. Maybe he mulled over my words and realized that I am right, that he needs to get rid of me and get back to his family. I wouldn't blame him in the slightest.
After a while I notice the flame of the fire dying out, and so I force myself to get up and go back, no matter how humiliating it is. My boots stomp down the overgrown vegetation as I return and luckily there's still a small flame going. Joel's leaning up against the camper, his arms crossed over his chest. He hears me walking and looks over.
"I'll stay out here for the night to keep watch. There's um, I saw a pull-out bed in there." My hand gestures towards the camper, insinuating that I want him to take it. His eyes narrow and his head shakes,
"No that's okay, I can take watch." He says and I can't help but feel anger rise in me. I take a breath,
"No, I want you to take it. Please, take it. You saved me from the infected, you saved me from those men back there. It's the least I can do and doesn't even begin to repay what you've done. So please, take it." My voice is strained, and it comes out harsher than I intend it to. I drop my hand back down to my side and return to my seat by the fire pit, the smoke burning my lungs as I deeply breathe it in.
"You don't owe me anything." His words cause me to no longer be able to bite my tongue and all of my pent up emotions pour out,
"Joel, I swear if you fight me on one more damn thing I say I'm going to lose my fucking mind. Please, take the bed. This is something I can actually do for you, so please, let me." My voice is full of finality. I stare at him with wide eyes until he finally moves, and thankfully he doesn't fight me. Instead, he turns and opens the camper door, retreating inside for the night.
With a huff, I turn around in my seat and run a hand over my face before I toss another log onto the fire. I curl up in the seat and hug my knees close to me, resting my chin on my kneecaps.
Tonight my thoughts are occupied with Joel and where we go from here. It's clear that he's not going to leave, he's stubborn as hell about staying true to his word. Deep down I know I'm far too inadequate to be making this trip, but I can't be the reason he never returns to his family. The sadness from earlier morphs into resolve, and I promise myself to be stronger and smarter. For Joel, his family, and for the children I'm seeking to avenge.
The start of this journey shows me that I have to become tougher to survive this. This world is not for the weak, and right now I am weak. My time in Boston gave me the illusion that I was tough because I was able to smuggle pills and stand up to men I know wouldn't have touched me. But out here, I have no guarantees of safety anymore. The QZ is a playground in comparison.
Throughout the night I have to keep getting up and walking around to keep myself awake. The warmth of the fire invites me to fall asleep, but I can't. I promised Joel that I would stay up, and I can't go breaking my promises to him. I'd be lying if I said my eyelids weren't heavy, in fact, I think they weight about twenty pounds each now. At one point, I find myself smacking my cheeks to stay alert. The sounds of owls and crickets in the night doesn't help my cause. I'm stuck in the most picturesque place to sleep but am not allowed to indulge.
After hours and hours of keeping myself awake, I hear the morning birds start singing their songs and the warm glow of the morning sun can be seen. I slouch down in my seat, happy that the morning is finally rolling around. However, my happiness is short lived as I realize we still have to walk all day long.
The door of the camper opens and my head whips around to see Joel walking out, his wavy brown hair tousled from his restful night. He rubs his eyes and yawns as he comes to the fire pit, and I find myself yawning right after him. He's up earlier than I thought he would be, but I'm not complaining, it got lonely out here after a while.
I stretch my legs out in front of me and look over to Joel, who's taken the seat next to me. His face still looks like he's half asleep as he blankly stares at the dying fire in front of us.
"Go on and get some sleep." His deep, raspy morning voice says. A faint blush finds its way on my face at the tone of his voice, but I quickly push the thought from my mind.
"We gotta get going though." I say, yawning again. Joel looks to me with an incredulous look on his face.
"Don't fight me on it, just go do it. I'm gonna scout this place for a car, see if I can't get one of 'em started." He says and runs a hand over his face to wake himself up.
"Well I can help you." I offer and he shakes his head and stares at me with an expression that lets me know he's not thrilled I'm arguing with him already. He sighs,
"And you were tellin' me not to fight you." I look away from him. I know he has a point but I don't want to admit it. I shrug my shoulders, my stubborn nature not letting me cave.
"I'm not fighting, I'm offering help." I rebut. His eyebrow raises,
"I'm not tellin' you again. Go get some rest. If I need you, I'll come get you." He says, voice warming up for the day, the deep rasp disappearing as he speaks.
"What if something happens?" I ask, knowing that bad things can happen in the blink of an eye. My tone must tell him I'm not fighting, but instead am genuinely worried.
"Nothing is going to happen. I'm not going far and I keep an eye on my surroundings." He reassures me, and I know he's telling the truth. Well, about him being cautious anyways. He knows how to survive in this world.
Reluctantly, I get up and accept his offer, the thought of sleeping on a mattress is far too tempting. I open the camper door and enter it, seeing our bags placed side by side. The sheets on the bed are rustled and I smile to myself, happy that I was able to do that for him, and I hope he slept well because of it. Taking a few steps across the camper, I crawl onto the bed and sprawl out, thankful for the mattress. Compared to my mattress at the QZ, this is like sleeping on a cloud.
Rolling onto my side, I grab a handful of the sheets and breathe in the freshness. Joel's scent hits my nose, a mix of smoke from the fire and cotton flannel. It's a warm, comforting smell and I close my eyes to appreciate it.
His smell makes me feel safe, it lets me know that he's here and he's watching out for us. The rugged smell lulls me to sleep, and for once I'm not haunted by the images of the murdered children or the ghostly feeling of the men in the town.
#joel miller#joel miller tlou#joel miller hbo#joel miller pedro pascal#pedro pascal#tlou#the last of us#joel miller fanfic#joel miller fanfiction#joel miller the last of us#joel miller fic#the last of us fic#tlou fic#tlou fanfic#ellie williams#joel tlou#joel the last of us#joel miller series
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corrupt bunny
ೀ happy birthday to our daddy dearest josè pedro balmaceda pascal 💝
ೀ a lil dbf!joel smut 4 celebration i hope u babies enjoy i was so tired from work but baby daddy deserved dis!!!
ೀ DBF!JOEL MY MAN 4EVA
ೀ description: FILTH LITERALLY FILTH HELLO, SMUT, DBF!joel, (pre-outbreak!joel kind inspired)early40s!joel, dom!joel, sub!reader, early20s!reader, heavy heavy daddy kink (MHM), choking (r receiving), cowgirl momentarily 👅, doggystyle, slight hair pulling (r receiving), breeding kink (☺️), no use of y/n, use of pet names (darlin, sweetheart/girl, babydoll), reader gets rammed in childhood bedroom.
you came home from college for summer break, you were feeling severely homesick—and sick for something else.
your dad’s bestfriend Joel. he was a burly, scruffed, and damn-right sexy; not only that but he was a man, a real man.
you couldn’t find yourself standing a second talking to a college boy after the last night you had 5 months ago before you left spring break.
now here you were, in your childhood bedroom; getting completely fucked out of your mind by that exact man, Joel.
when you came home, you expected to be greeted by your parents once you arrived at your childhood house.
your grandma had picked you up from your university and dropping you off with all your luggage; just to be greeted by Joel Miller.
he was sitting on one of the many wooden chairs on your porch, beer in hand as he leaned his back against the rest of the chair.
“welcome back, darlin’” his southern accent drawls so sweetly, your heart pooled straight to your cunt. you took in the husky man.
he was laid-back, wearing tight jeans with his old brown belt shining with that thick silver buckle holding his jeans tightly as white tee hugged his roughed-up muscles perfectly. especially, the way his brown rough of hair curled around and framed him perfectly. you were gawking as you kissed you grandma goodbye. slight shameful but fuck, he was so fine.
you forced your way up the three-steps, you could feel his eyes burn through you. the heat of summer sun wasn’t the only thing making you sweat; his gaze feeling hotter than anything else on this planet.
“hi—hiya’ Joel! —my folks?” your throat raked out—cheeks flushing in embarrassment, clearing it before continuing. you were a complete mess under the chocolate galaxy he carried in his husked eyes.
“they left for a cruise?” he answered, looking at you questionably as your memory begins to jog-back to you.
“fuck right! —you were going to greet me today—i completely forgot.” it had completely slipped your mind through your rushed packing that Joel was going to be with you for their last night of their cruise; to watch over you, take care of you.
“oughta’right babydoll—y’just gon’ stand there gawking?—or y’gon c’mere?” his tone was low as his drawl foretold.
there were no words, just actions.
you could feel the sweat trickle down your neck into the dips of your clavicle as you walked through your front door, taking in the aroma of your childhood home.
the place you grew up with your dad and Joel handling grill-outs on summers like these, the place whereas you got older, the infatuation you had for your dad’s bestfriend only turned into a undying crush.
you would do anything for Joel, anything he asked.
that’s exactly how you ended up in the salacious position you were in now; position he put you.
“better have not been fuckin’ around with those dirty ol’boys” his hot breath glazed your ear with his growl.
you took in the view of your childhood bedroom, taking in the white walls that were decorated with the cutest posters and fashion magazine rip-outs. your ceiling fan even had a pink monkey dangling from it that has been collecting the dust up there for the past decade.
your bed was completely by a full satin-ruffled bunny printed set from when you were younger, scattered with all types of stuffed animals; a couple of different colored teddy bears and hello kitties—almost all had been gifted to you by Joel himself.
this was a disgustingly heavenly-sent tainted picture-perfect moment.
he laid perfectly in between all your teddies and plushies as you hopped on him like a corrupt bunny.
“never daddy!—pussy s’yours! s’yours!” you cried as his rutting vigorous hips met yours. your titties were pushed against his broad hairy chest as his hand had a grip through your hair, keeping your heads connected.
all you could feel was the way he engulfed your insides was a flame hotter than the rays of the sun, a burn you craved more and more.
the only thing you could pay attention to be the sound of his balls slapping against your lower ass as your hips recoiled against each pistol of his own—feeling his cock brush against your cervix with each fuck-up from his cock.
the room that Joel used to once come check-in on you everytime he visited your home throughout the years, watching you become the woman you are today, so full of life and intelligent. yes, your father would kill him—go out first thing he was to find out to purchase a gun and wouldn’t hesitate to use it on him.
Joel knew this was wrong, but lord didn’t give him enough strength. it was you; how could he resist you.
it all made it more sickingly beautiful to him.
“who’s your daddy, babydoll?” Joel flipped you over. your faces embarrassingly smushed in between all your cute little plush babies.
“gah—fuck—you!you daddy! you!” it wasn’t even a second that he was outside of your cunt before slamming himself back into you.
“oh my—fuck! daddy s’big!” your cock-drunken self slurs out as you drool onto of the hello kitty’s Joel gifted you; completely dumbed out on his cock. he was biggest you’ve ever seen and taken.
you never failed to remember the way his cock stood girthy and tall, almost taking up the size of your face as one hand wasn’t even enough to pump him correctly.
Joel showed no mercy to your sweet little cunt as you were now on all fours for him, exposing him to all your perfect curves and dips; his hand running up and through your back as his hips slapped harshly against the recoil of your ass.
you felt his big callous hands hold the back of your neck, not caring for the sweat that glistened off the both of you before moving it over to grip your throat, cutting the air from you blissfully.
from now on, the only thing planted into your brain was Joel.
the way he had you in pure erotic dismay for him in your childhood bedroom, the bedroom he watched you grow up in. you loved this, you lived for this.
“such a dirty girl—likin’bein’ choked” Joel’s groan graveled, sending a shiver through your spine as you felt your vision blur from the loss of circulation. you felt like you were at the gates of heaven.
“only f’you!—only f’ya-daddydaddy please!”
your pleasantly ardenous moans and sobs echoed through your little girly walls, bouncing off just like your plush ass against his thick cock as your cunt slid him like it was molded for him and him only.
you felt his grip on your neck loosen slightly as it went to massage through the locks of your hair, roughening it up as he pulled on it slightly with each impassioned thrust into your squelching cunt.
“such a good girl fa’me—you always been, haven’t you? —gah fuck! —always wantin’ to do good by me, hm sweet girl?” the tone that carried through his deep accent was ravenous as his groans stuttered him out.
Joel could feel himself growing closer as he twitched inside of you. “yesyes! always good f’you, daddy! m’close—so close!” you moan out as you feel your legs shake as his other hand that never left your hip turned red by how deep his hand dug into your flesh.
you could feel his hips stutter as you reach your hand behind you to feel him, desperate to hold him in some form. he immediately grabs your hand and places it on his heart.
“feel this babydoll? this whatcha’ do t’me—ougah fuck! you drive m’crazy!” Joel didn’t hold back as he made his last rough and haste thrusts count.
you could feel the way his heartbeat was beating fast, beyond rapid. you were sure you loved this man “yes daddy! s’good—love yo—ah! ah! daddy!” you were so cock-drunk, you didn’t stop the confession from coming out.
“say it, sweetheart—please!” the husked groan was a beg.
“im cumming!—fuck! —i love you, i love you daddydaddy!—fuck!” the confession was carnal, but you looked back, pouring your eyes into his fucked-out ones completely matching his hungry gaze. you meant it.
“i love you more—fuck me! wanna make me a daddy? drive y’old man crazy, hm?” Joel was a menace, such a sick hot menace.
“Joel—but—but!—”
“whassa’ matter, sweet girl? y’don’t-fucking he—hell! —wanna get this young little pussy full of my kids?” you watched the sick smirk smear across his beautifully rugged lips.
“hmph fuck it-yes! yes yes! daddy daddy please—fill me up—oh my!” you blabbered out in pure bliss; you loved the idea of having his kid in such a twisted way. your dad would lose it, but right now, there wasn’t a single care in the world for the both of you.
just like that, you could feel his hot load shoot and seep into your cunt, coating your wall with his thick white cum; hoping to reach into your beautiful fertile self to bless you with a bump of his own.
the room was filled with breathless pants as your chests heaved, pulling you in once he collapsed onto your angelic frilly little bed.
you shared hot and love-drunk, wet open-mouth kisses, making both of your membranes fuzzy.
your kisses slowly went from his lips to the gruffness of the hairs on his beard, getting lost on the way the small greyish brown hair tickled your lips. then, down to his neck, leaving the softest pecks—feather-like as a deep sigh erupts through his lips.
you felt him pull you up, grabbing your chin to look at him.
there was that dark hungry gaze again.
the chocolate abyss in his eyes that lulled you in every single fucking time.
“im gon’ fill this fucking pussy t’ill i got a mini us runnin’ around.”
dolls-taglist: ̗̀➛ @yondaimekazzy @alyzae13 @elliewilliamsgirl3
to join taglist click here !
#pedro pascal smut#pedro pascal#hbd king u finna only get finer 💓🩷💕#joel miller fanfiction#joel miller pedro pascal#joel miller x you#joel miller smut#joel miller the last of us#the last of us fandom#the last of us fanfiction#the last of us#joel the last of us#joel tlou#tlou joel#joel miller x reader#joel miller tlou#joel miller#pedro pascal x y/n#pedro pascal x you#pedro pascal stories#pedrostories#pedro pascal x reader#pedro pascal fanfiction#pedro pascal fandom#joel miller fic
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save a horse, ride cowboy!joel 💘
#god i love cowboys#save a horse ride a cowboy#pedro pascal#Joel miller#joel miller pedro pascal#joel miller moodboard#moodboard#Joel miller x reader#joel miller x you#cowboy!joel miller#man i love dilfs
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The giant hand, the hair, the shirt, the smile 🥹 *sighs in love*
The loml
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me writing warnings: (reader is 22, joel is 36, it's only a 14 year difference lmao)
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Pedro Pascal as Joel Miller in The Wrong Way by @romana-after-dark - Commission
Commissioned by @romanarose / @romana-after-dark
Based on The Wrong Way - A Dark Fic
Please read the tags carefully before reading this fic!
Working with Romana as my first ever commission was a dream! She was so clear about what she was looking for and provided me with some references to get started. I've never drawn Pedro before, and while I know there's room for improvement (always) I'm pretty proud of this one.
I'm going to open the door for commissions soon for artwork once I've made some decisions on pricing and the way I want to do it. I also have to balance it with my workload (in real life booooo).
So anyway, once commissions are open I'll let you all know :) Thank you again Romana or the support and love <3 I'm glad you liked him.
#the wrong way fic#joel miller#joel miller pedro pascal#pedro pascal#joel miller fan art#joel miller fanart#pedro pascal fanart#the last of us#the last of us fanart#the last of us fan art#tlou fanart#tlou fan art#tlou hbo#tlou#my art#the last of us hbo
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ain't no rest for the wicked / a whore's company
summary: joel miller pays you (a sex worker) to keep him company in a bar
pairing: joel miller x sex worker!female reader
a/n: this is my entry in the #pascalsnetwritingchallenge with the song prompt ain't no rest for the wicked ft. joel miller (pre-apocalypse) as always comments are appreciated <3<3
warnings: 18+ MDNI; sex work (and talk thereof, vulgar language, references to sex, reader's a single mom, sick child, mention of ex boyfriend
word count: 2,4k
You tucked your belly in and pursed your lips before you propped yourself into the slot beside him. You tucked yourself close enough for him to feel you, and he seemed to stir awake from his daydreaming - or whatever it was going through his pretty head.
"Don't think I ever saw a man look as lonely as you do now, darlin'."
His eyes were wide still, bewildered and startled as if you had woken him from a dream. His lips curved in a shy smile and you thought for a second you might have actually saved him from a nightmare instead.
His warm eyes slid over you, but they were still kind when he realized what you are—who you are, he reminded himself, because who am I to objectify anyone?
The longer he looked at you, the more you became aware of his smile. He really did look lonely and it wasn't just that he was alone in a bar.
Fuck.
You made quick thinking so that he might not brood too much on your words. The last thing you wanted was to spend your night feeling inclined to listen to some man feeling sorry for himself.
"Care f'some company?"
"M'not sure I'm a lot of fun, doll."
"That's okay. I am."
To your surprise, after a couple of what looked to be particularly decisive seconds, his mien seemingly switched and something sparkled in his eye.
"Ya know what—okay," he decided. "I'm Joel."
You took his outstretched hand and held it in yours instead of shaking it.
"I'm Pat."
Joel had stretched his hand, not only as an introductory gesture but also so that he might make some space between you. He would feel more comfortable speaking to your face than the tits you currently had perked in his face.
Joel squeezed your hand. "What's your real name."
You squeezed his hand back, although the rough calloused skin made you doubt he could feel it.
"What kinda names ya like?" quizzed you cleverly.
He made a sound. Something between a harsh chuckle and a dubious snort, whatever that may sound like.
You scorched closer to him, confidently resting your hand on his thigh. You wondered if he worked out. His thighs were muscular and the way his arm flexed you couldn't help but think he would look better with his clothes off. He probably had a nice firm ass, too.
"Ya know, I bet I could make your evening a whole lot nicer," you seduced, tracing small circles on the walked jeans that clung to his leg.
Joel bit back a smirk. "S'that so?"
Humming deeply your eyes graced down his body, although he had already understood your innuendo.
"F'you pay that right price, o'course."
The comment did not appear to fend him off.
Joel knew he wasn't going to pay you for sex. Although his brother had told him once that every man ought to try it, the thought did not arouse him one bit. Not at all, actually.
But looking at you, he wondered what company you could offer him anyhow. Surely you must be hiding something under this professional facade.
He wondered what your humor was like, if you had any, and if it matched his. He became curious about whether you were opinionated and if so, what those were. He wanted to quiz you, ask why you did this kind of work, but he thought that was something none of his business. Joel pondered whether you would tell him that if you had a smart mouth on you if he asked anyway. He hoped you did because he presumed there must be some real creep-encounters for someone like you in this world.
Suddenly he asked, too curious for his own good and too insensible on the payday: "what's your rate, Pat?"
"Five hundred bucks."
Oh.
Joel didn't know what he had expected. He didn't know what was a fair price for such an escapade, and he was both staggered by the amount - he couldn't recall the last time he had indulged and spent more than a hundred dollars on himself - and surprised that you didn't charge more. He didn't have to take another look at you to know you easily could.
He thought you should.
You watched, growing impatient as he hummed, but then he fished up his wallet and dug around.
A victory, you thought, when he moved the curled-up wads into the hand you had placed on his thigh.
If he had been paying for sex with you, he would have felt he robbed you.
"Take a seat on tha' other side."
You frowned suspiciously at the man but were quick tighten your fist around the bills.
"What?"
"I'd like to know ya," he replied.
Is he fucking with you?
You had tried something like this before; an arrogant man trying to protest your job, thinking himself so high and mighty that he might rescue you. A damn fool he was.
"I swear, if you're one o'those bastard thinkin' you're better than me—" you said with gritted teeth.
Joel quickly retreated, moving back as if he was letting you leave and lifting his hands in surrender, realizing he had given offense. "No, no—I... M'sorry, I didn't mean to offend ya."
You gave him an incredulous look and crossed your arms.
"Sorry, ma'am," he fumbled politely but he looked embarrassed. "Keep the money, I—"
"Oh, I will."
Joel bit his lip.
He registered how stupid he has been. It had been presumptuous to decide you needed the money, that it would save you a little while from doing this sort of work; he didn't stop to think that perhaps you had chosen this occupation, not out of fear for the alternative, but because you wanted to.
The thought didn't sit right with him, but he cursed himself for accidentally labeling you while trying to do just the opposite.
Joel's need for being liked encouraged him to explain: "I thought I'd do something good by paying your price without needin' your service, ma'am and I seem to 'ave insulted you 'nstead, I'm sorry," he jabbered inarticulately and you let him, somewhat baffled.
The feeling of your heart fluttering had become so unfamiliar to you that you feared a stroke was in order. When you discerned the sincerity in his apology, you couldn't help but buckle under to his chivalrously ignorant charm.
"So you don't wanna fuck me?" you teased.
He looked flabbergasted and you laughed loudly as he stuttered to find the words.
The perplexed expression tugging at his aging wrinkles blurred into a sad pout when you stood. Triumph settled in his chest when you sat on the other side.
"I'm just fuckin' with ya, cowboy."
You often found that humor helped in awkward situations, and although you got a kick out of making men feel uncomfortable, you just couldn't bear watching his depressed eyes anymore. You hadn't really been mad with him. It was just that you — on more than one occurrence — had found yourself in the company of an arrogant prick on a high horse who'd like to fix you as if you were some delicate little thing in need of rescuing. Even if those customers had been right, you were not keen on having to rely on them for the good in their hearts.
Joel seemed to ease up though.
"So this how you usually spend your Friday nights? Keeping whores company."
"Thought I'd try something new," he smirked when he leaned back with a glint in his eye. You had to stop yourself from falling into their abyss.
You cocked a brow and leaned in with a wry look. "Don't shoot the messenger, but ya ain't very good at it."
Joel chuckled.
He bought you a drink then, and you quickly found Joel was an entertaining conversationalist. He was easy to open up, had jokes practically trickling out his sleeves and he was nice on the eyes, too.
Hours passed and drinks were emptied. You could tell he was holding back—whenever your laughter died out and there was only a silence between you, he would look at you with such inquisitive eyes, that you told him he could ask you whatever he wanted.
You figured it was only fair since he had told you so much about himself: his family, his work, his dating life, and quite frankly you enjoyed his company. You couldn't remember the last time you had been out like this—not looking for customers and simply having a good night out. It made you feel like you were on a date and to your surprise, you didn't hate it.
He was careful in his questioning and seemed genuinely interested in your work. His presence was incredibly serene and you hesitated only for a moment before deciding on telling him you also had a kid of your own. A sick one, with heaps of medical bills to be paid.
Joel was quite fascinated with you by the time you had told him more about yourself and he found that you had more in common than he would have guessed.
You told him about the dreams you had had when you were younger, how you were convinced you were going to play a special role in this world, be someone who would make a difference, and how all those hopes vanished when your boyfriend had left you alone with a kid without a single word.
"Damn fool," Joel had groaned.
It was around then Joel discovered you had talked for six-fucking-hours, but only because the bar's patrons were dwindling and they were closing up shop.
It was typical for you to be home around 2 o'clock or so, but you had been so caught up you hadn't even noticed it was past 3.
As you exited the bar together, Joel chuckled to himself in revelation. "Must've been a boy last I was out this late."
His comment made you grab hold of his arm and stare bright-eyed at his wristwatch. A little past three in the morning.
"Shit! I should've been home an hour ago," you panicked and it took Joel a second to realize why.
Earlier you had told him your neighbor babysat for you while you worked, someone you also considered your closest friend, and he suddenly felt very bad for holding you out so long. He imagined your friend would be worried sick by now, recalling the story you had told him about the time someone had roughed you up and you had passed out in an alley, returning home bruised and battered.
Joel hailed a cab, feeling compelled to make sure you got home fast and safely.
You gave the driver the address of the Chinese deli on the corner of your street and settled in the seat, Joel's hand lingering comfortably above your knee.
Through the night, you had noticed Joel touching you in one way or another—on your arm, on your shoulder, on the small of your back, and so on, although only when it felt so natural that you hadn't noticed before you subconsciously leaned into his touch.
It scared you a bit, being flushed with warmth under his warm calloused hands. All the same, you felt safe in his hands, like no one could ever hurt you again; and if they dared, they would answer to him.
Joel squeezed your thigh when he noticed your trepidation, only then becoming aware that his hand was on your thigh. He hadn't realized when he had put it there, but a thought reminded him that physical touch was his love language.
It was certainly too early to be in love, he reminded himself, however, he knew that if he would see you again, after this impending adieu you were racing toward, he would have to bite his tongue to not let the words slip. In his family, they threw the words around like smiles—it felt so natural to say them when he was in the company of someone he relished being with.
Joel decided he would ask you if you would like to see him again, and when he proposed the idea with his head stuck out the window like a dog, you spun on your heel, probably a little too eager.
"A date?" mused you, trying to see the romantic gesture rather than flashbacks from those you had gone on with your ex back in the day.
Joel's head tilted and you couldn't help but grin, amused with the way he looked like a dog longing to be petted and praised.
Your gaze flickered up to your apartment and saw that the lights were on only in the living room.
"Gimme your phone, cowboy."
He vehemently did and you typed in your number, saving it to his contacts along with your name and a smiley.
"I don't expect you to pay for my company next time 'round, but I do expect ya to pay the check and hold the doors for me," quipped you.
"Nothing less, ma'am."
He sat back contentedly with a proud smile and the driver switched the gears to move off of the curb.
Joel reacted: "Wait, wait, wait!"
He looked back at you, pushing his head halfway out the window again, and grinned stupidly.
"Can I kiss you?"
An uncontrollable laugh slipped from your lips, and you took his face in your hands. Joel swore his eyes bulged comically out of his head in pure adoration for your laugh, but his sheepishness was momentary for you happily pulled him into a sweet, sweet kiss.
After a moment, you pulled back, gazing softly down at him and he thought you looked so mesmerizing in the dim street light.
"Bet that's the most expensive kiss you've ever had," you teased.
Joel shrugged as if to say "it was worth it". He enjoyed the way you joked around your profession, you seemed to tackle a lot with humor.
When the taxi pulled back into the street, Joel swallowed his heart back into place and he finally looked down at his phone.
He smiled in such a boyish way and pronounced your name.
"What's that?" grumbled the driver.
Joel couldn't rid himself of the smile dancing on his lips. He could still taste your lipgloss.
"Nothin'," he responded dismissively, eyes still fixed on his phone. He didn't have to move in the seat to know he had gotten a hard-on from kissing you.
The driver hummed, then said, "so, ya gonna give me an address or somethin'?"
#pascalsnetwritingchallenge#joel miller pedro pascal#theplumsoldier#joel miller#joel miller fic#joel miller imagine#joel miller tlou#pedro pascal#joel miller smut#joel miller x reader#the last of us#challenge
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pains l a safe haven drabble
Post Outbreak! Joel Miller x Female Reader
summary: When Ellie has awful menstrual cramps, you come to the rescue.
warnings/tags: 18+ only, MINORS DNI. talk of menstrual cycles, cramps, our lil baby Ellie is in pain, Joel is kinda useless but we still love him, little fluffy moments here and there. domestic fluff.
word count: 2k
a/n: so this is just a little thing based on this request right here. i love the idea of writing little extra blurbs and drabbles for this universe now that i am further into the series. i hope you like this anon, and thank you for being patient with my slow snail ass! *this takes place somewhere between the events of chapters five and chapter six
“Fuck, fuck, fuck—fucking motherfucker!”
Ellie loudly gasps out the string of profanities, clutching at her stomach as she doubles over in what you can only imagine has to be a world of pain. She steadies herself by planting one of her tiny hands firmly on Stella’s rotund side, her facial features twisted in complete and utter agony. She sucks in a sharp deep breath, her eyes squeezing tightly shut as she leaned up against the pregnant mare for support.
Letting out a small sigh, you set your clipboard down and walk around Stella and over to Ellie’s side. “Alright, that’s it,” you say, placing a gentle hand on her lower back. “You’re going home right now, missy. Do you understand me?”
“I’m fucking fine,” the teenager insists through her gritted teeth. “They’re just fucking cramps. It’s not a big deal.”
“Ellie, look at you. You can hardly even stand up straight,” you tell her, the slightest hint of amusement lacing your tone. You give her back a soft, soothing rub, prompting her to exhale the breath she’d been holding. “I’m sorry, but I just can't let you work like this today. They’re clearly hurting you very badly.”
“I’ve never had cramps like this before,” Ellie admits to you. She feels the sensations in her pelvis subside and draws herself back up to her full height. Her gaze finds yours and she worriedly asks, “Do you think something’s wrong with me?”
You hum. “No, not necessarily. Symptoms of your cycle can differ from month to month. I wouldn’t be too alarmed, not unless you get awful cramps like these each time you get your cycle.” You peer at her in concern. You’d much rather step on a rusty nail barefoot than have to take Ellie to see Luke at the clinic, but if there was something going on, you would have no choice but to take her. “Be honest. Do they hurt you this bad every month?”
“No,” she replies, shaking her head. “Sometimes I don’t even get them at all.”
You let out a small sigh of relief. “Then I think you’re just having a little bad luck this month,” you state, patting her shoulder. “The best thing for you to do is go home, get off your feet and get some rest until they go away.”
Ellie frowns. “How can I even rest when it feels like someone’s fucking twisting my insides in their hands like they’re wringing out a wet mop?”
You can’t help but to chuckle a bit at her oddly specific, yet incredibly accurate analogy. As a woman, you understand just how bad the pain could be and you empathize with her. At least when you’d been her age, you had been in the QZ where you could use your ration cards for a pack of expired Midol. “Listen, I’ll tell you what—I have a few remedies up my sleeve that might help. Go on home and I’ll swing by in an hour once I get everything that I need. Do we have a deal?”
Ellie opens her mouth to protest, but another wave of pain causes her to yelp and double over again. “Alright, alright,” she chokes out. “We’ve got a deal. Just please fucking do something to help make this shit go away!”
Just like you had promised, an hour later, you find yourself knocking on Ellie and Joel’s front door. You’d made a couple of pit stops along the way, gathering the supplies that you needed into an old, floral printed canvas bag.
“Peach?” Joel’s eyebrows shoot up in complete surprise when he opens the door and sees you standing there on his front porch in broad daylight. He takes a quick look around and lowers his voice when he speaks again. “Uh, not that I ain’t happy to see you darlin’, but what are you doin’ here?” The corners of his mouth pull down into a frown and a worried look flashes in his eyes as he looks over you, making sure you’re okay. “Somethin’ happen? Is everythin’ alright?”
You smile up at him softly.
By now, you’d just about gotten used to him and his overprotective nature. “I’m fine, Joel,” you assure him. “I’m actually here to see Ellie.”
He grimaces. “She ain’t feelin’ too good—”
“I know.” You hold up the tote bag in your hand. “That’s exactly why I’m here to see her.”
Joel seems to be a bit puzzled, but he steps aside and allows you into the house. As soon as he shuts the door behind you, he catches your wrist and gently pulls you towards him, swiftly stealing a quick little kiss from you. “Hi baby,” he greets in a quiet murmur against your lips. “S’kinda nice gettin’ a little sugar from you durin’ the daytime,” he jokes lightly before he steals another.
You giggle and playfully swat at his chest. “Cut it out, Joel. I’m here because I’m on a very important mission,” you inform him, taking a step backwards. “I sent Ellie home from the stables a little while ago and I told her I’d come by with a couple of things that might help make her feel better. Where is she?”
“She’s in here. Follow me,” Joel beckons to you with his hand as he leads you down the long hallway and into the living room. He gestured with a jut of chin to Ellie, who is sprawled out on the couch on her stomach, her small face buried into one of the cushions. “I took the afternoon off from patrol today. Didn’t want her to be home alone while she’s in so much pain but I’m useless. I don’t know what to do or what I can give her to make it stop hurtin’.”
“You’re not useless Joel—”
“No, he’s right. He’s pretty fucking useless,” Ellie mumbles miserably, her voice muffled by the couch cushion.
You glance at Joel who tosses her an offended glare. “She doesn’t mean that, you know. She’s just in a lot of pain right now.” You touch his arm and offer him a small, sympathetic smile. “Do you mind if I borrow your kitchen for a few minutes to prepare what I brought?”
“‘Course not. C’mon, the kitchen's right across the way.” Taking advantage of the fact that Ellie’s face is still smushed into the couch, Joel takes your hand in his and starts leading you across the hallway into his kitchen. “What do you need, darlin’?”
“Do you have a tea kettle I can use?”
He shakes his head and drops your hand. “No, I don’t think we have one of those.”
“A normal pot will do, then,” you state, setting your bag down on the counter.
Joel nods and walks up beside you, opening one of the cabinets underneath the kitchen sink. He pulls out a dark blue pot and hands it to you. He watches as you fill it up with tap water from the kitchen faucet before carrying it over to the gas powered stove. After switching the stove on and getting a flame going, you set the pot down on top of it so the water could begin to warm up. You then reach into your bag and pull out a small plastic ziploc bag filled with loose tea leaves, dumping a few of them into the water before sealing the bag back up and setting it off to the side.
“What’s that?” he questions, curiously.
“Raspberry leaf tea. It’s good for a lot of things, but it does wonders for menstrual cramps,” you explain briefly. You dig into your bag once more and pull out the handmade heating pad that you’d sewn together yourself a while back. Noticing that Joel’s standing right next to the old microwave on the opposite end of the counter, you toss it over in his direction, quickly warning him, “Joel, think fast.”
He swiftly catches it in one of his hands. “The hell is this fuckin’ thing?”
You toss him a playful eye roll. “That’s a heating pad.”
Joel squeezes it between his fingers, making a face. “What’s in it?”
“Rice, flaxseed, and some lavender as well. It’ll help soothe her. Pop it into the microwave for a couple of minutes.”
He nods, doing as you’d instructed. “If you say so, peach.”
While the heating pad is warming up, you notice the water beginning to boil in the pot and start looking through his cabinets until you find a mug. You set it down and switch off the stove, asking him, “Do you have a hand strainer by any chance?”
“Yeah, think there’s one in that drawer right beside you.”
As you go about finishing preparing the tea, you feel Joel’s dark brown eyes glued to your back. Glancing over your shoulder, you meet his curious gaze and raise a questioning eyebrow at him. “What’s the matter?”
“Nothin’,” he replies, innocently. “Just can’t believe you’re doin’ all this for her.”
You laugh a little. “Of course—why wouldn’t I do this for Ellie?”
Joel says nothing. He can only smile at you.
“Okay,” you say as you finish pouring the tea through the strainer. You set the pot side and pick up the ceramic mug. “Grab the heating pad. Let’s go make little miss grumpy pants feel better.”
He chuckles and does as he is told, grabbing the heating pad out of the microwave before following you out of the kitchen and back into the living room.
“Okay, Ellie. I need you to sit up,” you announced, walking over to the couch.
She groans dramatically, but obeys. “I swear, if you making this fucking stop, I will never in my life complain about mucking out stalls ever again.”
“Here.” You hold out the mug to her. “You’re going to drink this.”
Ellie makes a disgusted face. “Ugh. I fucking hate tea.”
You pin her with a stern look. “What do you hate more—tea or pain?”
“Fine. Give it here,” she grumbles, carefully taking the tea in her hands. She blows on it for a minute to cool it down, then takes a couple of reluctant sips. She lets out a little disgusted noise, but says nothing about it.
As she leans back against the couch, you take the heating pad from Joel’s hands and place it over her pelvis.
Ellie groans out in relief. “Fuck, that feels incredible.”
You glance over at Joel, raising an eyebrow. “Eh? What did I tell you?”
“You’re amazin’,” he grins.
“You’re amazing,” Ellie mimics, teasing him with a smirk.
Joel’s smile fades. “Well, that tells me she’s feelin’ better already,” he grumbles, shaking his head.
You watch as she forces herself to drink the rest of her tea. Once she’s finished, you take the empty mug from her in one of your hands.
“Oh. I have one more thing that might help.” You reach into the breast pocket of your white blouse and produce a tiny, square shaped object wrapped in foil. “I know it always makes Dina feel better when she’s having a rough time with her monthly bill.”
Ellie unwraps it, her eyes going wide. “No way! Is this chocolate?” She eagerly bites into the corner of the piece, moaning. “Fuck, that’s so good.”
You pat her thigh. “Lay down and keep that heating pad on you. You’ll start to feel better in no time.”
“I already do,” she says, shooting you a grateful look. “Thanks.”
“Anytime, kid.” You smile and stand up, walking into the kitchen with the empty mug in hand.
Joel follows suit.
Setting the dish down into the sink, you gasp when you feel his arms wrap around you from behind. “Joel, Ellie is—”
“She ain’t gonna see,” he murmurs, pressing his lips against your neck.
You turn around in his arms.
“Thank you,” he says sincerely, his eyes meeting yours. “For takin’ such good care of her. I don’t know what we’d do without you.”
Grinning, you tilt your head up for a kiss.
You don’t know what you’d do without them either.
#joel miller x y/n#joel miller x female reader#joel miller x f!reader#joel miller x you#joel miller pedro pascal#joel miller fluff#joel miller x reader#joel miller x original character#joel miller series#joel miller story#pedro pascal characters#joel miller drabble#joel miller one shot#joel miller blurb#fic: ash#fic: a safe haven
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Yesterday's Love - Part one
summary: Twenty years after the world fell apart, alone and tired, you stumble upon a man in the middle of the night, a man for whom you have grieved and who you have loved. He is not the same man he was twenty years ago, and you are not the same woman. The world has turned into a sad and dark place, but maybe the two of you, with the help of a sassy fourteen-year-old, can find the light again, because sometimes life offers you a second chance.
word count: 4.8k
rating: E
pairing: Joel Miller x afab!reader
note: Canon-typical violence. Mention of food/eating. Angst. Survivor’s guilt. Feeling hopeless. The outbreak happened in 2003 like in the tv show, but I've decided to go with Joel's game age, meaning that he turned 32 on outbreak day instead of 36. (This is, in general, inspired by a mix of the game and the tv show.) No use of (y/n). Reader uses she/her pronouns and is four years younger than Joel with no physical description. This has not been beta-read and English is not my native language. Crossposted on my ao3
18+ minors, please don't interact
Prologue￨Series masterlist￨Part two
You’re dragging your tired feet over the forest floor, ‘just a little further, then you can rest’ you encourage yourself, it’s what you have been telling yourself for hours now. You keep stumbling over tree roots and small rocks, and even your own feet at this point. You are afraid of falling, fearing that if you fall now you’ll never get up again. But maybe falling and never getting up again wouldn’t be so bad. Maybe it would actually be good, you would finally be able to rest, after years of fighting for your survival.
You hate what you have become, hate the things you have had to do to survive in this world. ‘You didn’t have a choice; it was you or them’ is a poor comfort when you look down at your hands that are covered in dirt and dried blood. The only thing that is making you keep going at this point is the promise you made to Luis so long ago. You still can’t believe that it has already been twelve years since you lost him.
You had moved to Austin in January of 2003 after you had gotten a new job there. You had moved into a little house in the suburbs. It was nothing special, but it was yours, and after having lived in a tiny apartment for so many years, even the little house felt like a castle to you. You had been excited for your new life in Texas, but it was also hard to start over in a whole new city. You didn’t know anyone in Austin when you moved there and you were far away from your friends and family, even though the latter wasn’t as hard, since you never had been very close with any of your family members.
It had been on your first day in your new home that you had met your new neighbor, Luis Sanchez. He was in his early sixties, and had lost his beloved wife a couple of years prior, he now lived alone with his old texas heeler, Dino. He had been very friendly, telling you how happy he was to get a new neighbor. You had gotten the idea that he was feeling pretty lonely. He helped you put up shelves and other small tasks around your house, and you in return invited him and Dino to dinner, which you soon had multiple times a week together. He told you about his late wife with such love and you knew that he missed her tremendously; he and his wife had never gotten any children, but you soon had gotten the supportive father figure you had missed your entire life. Luis Sanchez also happened to be an ex-marine.
He had knocked on your door in the middle of the night between the 26th and 27th of September, and told you you had two minutes to pack the most essential things before he had pulled you into his truck. You had managed to get you out of Austin before the blocades, Fluids had been quick to react and you had been some of the first to flee the city. It had saved your life, but you had been too shocked to understand what was happening. That whole night was like a haze, and it was first when you had gotten out of it that it dawned on you, what about Joel and Sarah, were they safe?
Luis Sanchez had saved you by getting you out of Austin, but he is also the reason why you have survived the past twenty years. He had taught you a lot; how to fire a gun, how to handle a combat knife, to defend yourself. He had made sure you had the necessary skills to get by in the dystopian state of the world you had found yourself in. You had promised him that you would keep fighting, that you would take care of yourself, that you would live.
So you keep on fighting, keep pushing yourself to take another step further. You keep on stumbling through the dark forest when you suddenly feel a shiver go through your body as a silhouette suddenly appears within your vision. Despite your exhausted state you react quickly, pulling out and aiming your gun. It’s all muscle memory at this point.
The pale moonlight seeping down through the dense tree cover is the only thing that illuminates the man’s features, but a chill runs down your spine and a silent gasp escapes your lips as you take him in. Even with the limited lighting and after all these years you recognize him.
He has gotten older. So have you, of course, but you have had twenty years to get used to that. His hair appears lighter as gray hairs have begun to mix with the brown ones, his beard is graying too, and the lines at the corner of his eyes a little more prominent, but besides that he looks pretty much the same as you remember him. This is, without a single doubt, Joel Miller, your Joel Miller. The same man that you twenty years prior had dreamed of a future with.
His grip is tight on the rifle as he points it directly at you. A flash of recognition and disbelief flicker’s through both of your eyes as you stare each other down, but neither of you are lowering your weapon. It is like you’re in a trance, the both of you paralyzed by the other’s presence. Can this really be true?
You are on the brink of collapsing from exhaustion, maybe you have finally lost it and this is just a fragment of your weary brain. Maybe you really did collapse, maybe you’re actually laying on the cold ground and this is some kind of near-death hallucination…
No, this has to be real. You have decided that it’s real.
You let out the breath you have been holding and slowly lower your gun, It’s Joel after all, and if being taken out by your ex lover is how you’re gonna die then so fucking be it, you’re tired of continuing to survive just to fight through another awful day. It takes him a little longer to lower his rifle, but you are not gonna hold that against him. The two of you are simply staring at each other, perplexed, but he is the first to break the silence. Your name falls from his lips, he is sounding unsure and maybe a little hopeful?
The sound of his voice is pulling you out of your trance, offering him a small smile and a disbelieving nod of your head.
“Hey Joel.” You let out.
It’s first now that you’re not being held at gunpoint that you take in the view of the little camp behind him. A blue and white Chevy S10 is parked between the trees, how the fuck has he gotten that? An empty sleeping bag is lying on the ground, must be Joel’s, but another bag is lying next to it, whoever is sleeping in it is completely tucked away under the soft material, but someone is clearly occupying it.
Could it be Sarah? She would be all grown up now, older than you were, back on that night before all hell broke loose. When Joel had held you in his arms and had told you that he wanted you to meet her, making you hope that the three of you maybe someday could be a happy little family. It was the night you had told him that you loved him and he had told you that he loved you too. Everything had been perfect, but it all had been torn away from you as the world fell apart the next day.
“Are you okay?” He asks you, he is still clenching the rifle tightly in his hands even though he isn’t pointing it at you anymore. “You’re not…” He stops himself, but you don’t need to hear the question to know what he is asking you.
“No, I’m not infected.” You reassure him, before continuing with a humorless laugh. “This is all human.” You lift your bloodstained hands. This whole situation is so absurd and you feel like you might fall over from exhaustion any second now. You have been walking for almost two days with barely any rest.
“Are you hurt?”
“Not too badly.” You shake your head slightly, and even this slight movement is making you dizzy.
You finally feel your legs failing you, but Joel is fast. He manages to get to you before you hit the ground taking you in his arms as he leads you over to the little makeshift campsite. He sits you down before going over to the supplies, coming back to hand you a water flask. You take a few sips, letting the water rest in your dry mouth for a moment before swallowing it down your dry throat.
“Come and get some rest.” He says, not unkindly, but you’re too drowsy now to really register what’s happening.
He helps you into the sleeping bag, and even though you’re not fully sentient at this point, you do feel the hot tears running down your cheeks as you slip into a dreamless sleep, as Joel pour water over your dirty hands, gently scrubbing the grime off from your hands.
—
You’re slowly eased into consciousness by the sound of birdsong and the low rattle of boots walking over the dry forest floor, but you don’t open your eyes, not feeling ready to face the world yet. Your entire body is aching and your eyelids still feel too heavy. It’s first when you hear a voice that isn’t Joel’s that you force yourself to open your eyes.
“Erghh! What the fuck is that?”
“You don’t like coffee?”
You start to slowly stir in your little warm cocoon as you peek over the hem of the sleeping bag to see who your fellow coffee hater is, and you lock eyes with a young girl.
“What the fuck!” She shrieks.
“Not so loud.” Joel says in a deadpanned tone.
“But…” She says confused.
“It’s okay, I know her.” Joel tells the girl.
She looks from you to Joel, her eyes large with confusion. You start to slowly sit up, you do feel better than you had last night, but you are still pretty weak and still very tired. You didn’t get that many hours of sleep and are still heavily sleep-deficient. Joel comes over to the two of you, placing a plate in front of the girl before handing one to you, some sort of canned beef stew you believe.
“Thank you.” You manage to croak as he slips a fork into your hand and places the water flask next to you. He just nods, not looking you in the eyes and goes back to the portable stove to pack it up and put it back in the truck.
“So…” The girl says, pushing her stew around on the plate with her fork. “Is anyone gonna tell me what’s going on here?”
“Eat your food.” Joel huffs from the truck. The girl rolls her eyes and lets out a scoff.
“Well, guess I’ll have to introduce myself then. I’m Ellie.” She says, offering her hand for you to shake, which you accept, telling her your name. She still looks confused, but she seems to accept that she won’t get an explanation now and finishes her food. You struggle to get your own breakfast down, you have not eaten a lot the last few days and you should be hungry as a wolf right now, but you don’t have any appetite.
It takes some time, but you finally manage to finish your food by the time Joel has packed everything up. You don’t really know what to do now, you don’t know where he and Ellie are going or what his relation to the girl even is. You know that you are not gonna survive out here alone much longer, you simply don’t have it in you anymore, you are twenty years into this whole mess and you are tired of it all.
But you don’t get to speculate further as Joel walks over to you again. “Come on.” He says, as he bends down to help you up on your feet. You are still feeling very weak, scared that your legs will give in and let you fall, but Joel doesn’t let go of you. He walks you over to the truck, his strong arms supporting you. He opens the door to the backseat and helps you into the truck, laying you down on the backseat, removing his jacket and placing it over your curled up body. “Now get some more sleep.” He says, before closing the door. He settles into the driver’s seat, Ellie is already sitting in the passenger seat.
“Okay so are-” She begins, but Joel gives her a stern look to let her know that he won’t answer any questions at the moment. As much as you try to fight it you already feel yourself slipping back to sleep and you are already losing consciousness as Joel starts up the engine.
—
You blink a few times, confused for a second until you remember where you are and what had happened. It’s a long time since you have been in a car and the rumble of it is weirdly calming. You don’t know for how long you were out, but you feel a lot better and your head has become more clear. You stay down, not feeling ready to sit up and face the people in the car yet. You’re still in disbelief over your situation, stumbling upon Joel after all this time feels too unlikely to be real, but here you are… You close your eyes again, a loud slurp is heard as Joel takes a drink of the coffee he had made this morning.
“Is that seriously what those Starbucks in the QZ used to sell?” Ellie scoffs.
“Well, theirs was a lot fresher than what Bill saved up, but, yeah this is what they sold.”
“Smells like burnt shit.”
Another slurp. “Eyes on the map.”
“76 west and then, 70 west for, like, ever.” Ellie states.
“Hmm.” Joel grumbles.
“So like, am I ever gonna get an explanation?” The girl asks.
“What do you mean?” Joel huffs.
“Seriously dude?! Are you gonna tell me why a stranger suddenly appeared in the middle of the night and why she is sleeping in the backseat of our truck?”
Joel doesn’t answer straight away, he just shuffles a little to adjust his position in the driver’s seat, before finally giving an answer. “She isn’t a stranger. Or at least she didn’t use to be.”
“Okay, that’s cryptic. Can’t you just tell me how you know her?” She asks, the curiosity and frustration clear in her voice.
“That’s none of your business.” Joel shuts her down.
She scoffs and puts her eyes back on the map. “Okay if we go down the next exit we will-” She continues, but she is cut off.
“Not that way.” You chirp in, finally letting them know that you are awake. “It will bring us too close to the Kansas City QZ, and trust me we want to avoid that.” You sit up.
“Okay.” Joel’s nod, finding your eyes in the rear mirror, letting your eyes lock for a second before he breaks it to look back on the road again. It’s only for a split second, but you feel a lump forming in your throat, a million feelings are running through you. You don’t even know what to say to him, where to start, but the fact that he trusts you enough to listen to your advice is affecting you more than it maybe should.
Ellie turns in her seat to face you. Her face is lit up with a big smile. “You’re awake!”
“I am.” You say offering her a small smile.
“I’m so glad to have someone else to talk to, this asshole is really not good for conversation.” She says, gesturing to Joel, who just scoffs at her remark.
You chuckle at the girl, enjoying her feistiness. You already know that you are gonna like her. The Joel you knew was not an asshole, but you know damn well you’re not the same as you were before the apocalypse either. Joel finds your eyes in the mirror again, his gaze soft, giving you a glimpse of the old Joel you once knew behind this new battle-hardened facade that so many now have nowadays. There is a promise in his eyes, the two of you will talk later.
“Did you also use to drink that shit?” Ellie asks, nodding her head in the direction of Joel’s coffee. You can’t help but laugh, a real whole-body laugh that has your stomach hurt. You don’t know why that question has you reacting like this, maybe it’s the simplicity of it or maybe you just really have lost it, but this girl’s disgust at the discovery of coffee is amusing to you.
You shake your head through your laughs. “No, I have always been more of a tea girl.”
Your dislike of coffee used to be a never ending wonder to Joel, who couldn’t understand how anyone could get through their day without it.
Ellie seems happy with your answer, settling back in her seat before tuning to Joel. “I like her.” She states in a happy tone.
You are happy that you have won over your young travel companion, but your spontaneous outburst of laughter has left you dizzy again. You reach for the water flask that Joel had put out for you when he helped you into the truck. You take a sip before leaning back in the seat, closing your eyes again with a sigh and you soon fall back to sleep once again.
The sky has already begun to darken when you wake again. The rumble of the truck as Joel drives over the uneven terrain to find a safe place to park for the night is what had woken you. The dusk is falling around the truck like a heavy blanket. Joel turns the key, killing the engine when he has found a spot he is satisfied with, opening his door and grabbing his rifle.
“You two stay here. I’ll take a round, making sure it’s safe.”
Ellie nods at him, turning around in her seat, looking out of the window, looking at Joel’s back as he walks away, turning to you again when he is out of side with a big grin on her face she has pulled something out of the pocket of her hoodie, a rolled up paperback book. The cover is worn and has been eaten up by silverfish.
“Joel told me, and I quote, ‘to not torture you with this.’ But he isn’t here, sooo…” She says, proudly holding the book up in front of her to show you the title. ‘No pun intended, volume too’, before opening the book to read you a joke.
“Why was King Arthur's army too tired to fight?” An amused look on her face.
“I don’t know.” You say with a smile and a shake of your head.
“It had too many sleepless knights!” Ellie barks out all excited.
“Oh god…” You sigh, but Ellie is already ready with another pun for you.
“What sound does a sleeping T-Rex make?”
You were ready for another silly pun, but you are happy to hear one you actually know the answer to. “A dino-snore.” You tell her with an arched brow and a sly smile.
“Ey!” She exclaim. Her grin is spilling her face in two. “You are way funnier than that old grump.” She laughs, gesturing in the direction Joel had gone.
“Hey, careful calling him old.” You chuckle. “I’m only four years younger than him.”
“So how old were you at the outbreak?” She asks you, crossing her arms over the back of her seat.
“I had just turned twenty eight.” You tell her, feeling how your heart clenches a little by the reminder of life before the outbreak. “So I had plenty of years to hear shitty puns.” You add, scrunching your face with a teasing smile, trying to ease your own mood and bond with the girl you suddenly have found yourself traveling with.
“Hey, don’t disrespect Will Livingston like that!” She laughs and it is quite contagious. You can’t remember the last time you have laughed as much as you have today, which is impressing considering how much of the day you have spent sleeping.
The sleep has definitely done you good, you are feeling much better, almost at full strength again. You are gonna insist that Joel get to sleep through the entire night, you have a feeling that he will protest, but he must really need it.
“Okay, okay, let me find a good one.” Ellie says as she flips through the withered pages, but Joel returns before she finds one.
“I thought I told you not to take that thing out.”
“Well, she liked it, okay.” The girl scoffs.
Joel just shakes his head. “We should be good here. Get your pack.” He tells Ellie, turning to you as the young girl jumps out of the truck. “How are you feeling?” He asks.
“Much better.” You reassure him, offering him a small smile. He doesn’t return it, but his eyes do soften.
“Good.” He says, running his hand through his hair. “I uhm… I guess we should talk?”
“Yeah, we probably should.” You agree.
“I’ll get the food ready, we can talk after Ellie has gone to sleep.” He declares.
“No, no, let me do that. You have been behind the wheel all day and you didn’t get any sleep last night, besides, I’m feeling much better.” You start, but he just shakes his head.
“I’m fine.” He sighs, but the tired look on his face is telling a different story.
“Okay, I’ll let you do it, if you promise you’ll sleep through the night.” You try to sound stern, but you suddenly feel insecure. The reality has slowly sunken in. Joel really is standing right here with you in the flesh. It’s overwhelming and quite unbelievable.
“I don’t think anyone is out here, but I can’t risk it.” He says, trying to shut you down, but you beat him to it.
“I know, I’ll take this night shift.” You say clapping your gun holster before you, on now only slightly shaking legs, jump out of the truck to join Ellie.
“We really do have a lot to talk about.” He mumbles behind you as he gets the stove from the bed of the truck. The idea of you with a gun twenty years ago would be unimaginable, but the state of the world right now would have been even more unimaginable.
Joel is quick to get the food ready and soon the three of you are eating your dinner. Joel is quick to tell Ellie to go to sleep after you all have finished eating. You will be leaving early in the morning and you and Joel need to talk, and he prefers to do that without the young girl eavesdropping. It is weird when the soft snores of Ellie finally can be heard, she is what has kept you grounded this whole day. Now that you are alone with Joel all your emotions are bubbling up to the surface and you feel very overwhelmed.
You follow Joel over to the truck, he lowers the tailgate, gesturing for you to take a seat which you do, letting your legs swing from the edge as Joel sits down next to you. Being this close to him again is a lot, you can already feel the tears threaten to fall from your eyes.
You don’t know if you should do it or not, but you can’t help yourself, so you lean against him, placing your head on his shoulder, but it seems to be okay as Joel’s arm sneaks around you, hugging you close to his side. The two of you are silent for a while, neither of you knowing how to start the conversation, but after a little while Joel breaks the silence.
“I can’t believe you’re here, that you’re okay… Fuck, there’s so many things I need to tell you, and so many things I want to ask, I don’t even know where to start.” He says with a sigh, rubbing his free hand over his weary eyes.
“Yeah, twenty years is a long time.” You agree. “So why don’t we start with what’s at hand. Who is she?” You ask tilting your head in the direction of the place Ellie is sleeping.
“She’s cargo.” His words are harsh, but there is no cruelty in his voice as he says it. It is, however, not much of an answer, but you have learned not to be too nosy in this world. People tell what they want to tell. “Tommy, my brother, I don't know if you remember?” He continues.
You nod your head, letting your cheek rub against his shoulder, to let him know that you do remember, of course, you do, you don’t think there is a thing about Joel Miller that you don’t remember. He was the man you had loved when the world fell apart after all.
“He is out somewhere in Wyoming, I’m going out to make sure he’s okay, take him with me back to Boston if possible. I made a promise to take her with me out west.” He says, nodding towards Ellie.
So not only did Joel make it, his brother did too, but there is still another Miller whose fate you’re unsure about. You want to know so badly if Sarah is also still alive and okay, but you know better than to ask directly, and you are fearing the answer.
Another silence falls over the two of you. You should probably say something, maybe give him an explanation as to why you were wandering around a forest in Missouri, but you have a hard time finding the right words. Sitting next to Joel after twenty years is a lot and it is clear that he is as affected by your presence as you are by his, so you let the silence linger for a little longer, enjoying the feeling of his arm around you, before he finally breaks it.
“How did you make it out of Austin?”
“You remember my old neighbor?” You ask.
“Yeah. Mr. Sanchez, right?”
“Mhm.” You nod and begin to tell Joel about how you had made it out of Austin that night twenty years ago.
Joel squeezes you a little tighter as you finish your tale. “I’m glad he got you out.” He says. It’s a simple statement, but the slight crack of his voice and the vulnerable tone is not lost on you, there is a lot of meaning in the simple words.
“I’m glad you got out too.” You say, but you feel Joel stiffen against your side as soon as the words fall from your lips and he removes his arm from around you.
“Yeah, I got out. Tommy and I…” He sighs, his tone is now a mix of defeat and anger. “But Sarah she… She didn’t make it.” A wet shine is covering his eyes as he speaks.
“Oh, Joel…” You whisper, feeling your heart break for him.
“And a part of me… A part of me is happy she didn’t have to go through all of this shit, and I hate myself for feeling that.” He is clenching his fist so hard that his knuckles are turning pale.
“Joel…” You try, placing your hand on his arm, wishing you could take his pain away, but you know that nothing will ever be able to heal that kind of wound. He stands, making your hand slide away from his arm.
“I’m sorry, I can’t do this.” He shakes his head, turning his back to you. “You can come with us to Wyoming.” He sighs. “You watch my back and I’ll watch yours, but the girl is first priority.”
“Okay.” You simply say, watching his back as he walks over to his sleeping bag in which he crawls into, facing his back to you and Ellie, shielding himself from the rest of the world as he buries himself into the soft taffeta.
“Get some sleep Joel, I’ll wake you if there is anything.” You say, getting a low hum in response from the bag. That talk didn’t go as you had hoped, but you can now see how broken of a man Joel Miller has become.
#joel miller x reader#joel miller x you#joel miller x f!reader#joel miller tlou#joel miller pedro pascal#joel miller x y/n#pedro pascal character fanfiction#pedro pascal characters#pedro pascal fanfiction#pedro pascal fic#pedro pascal x reader#the last of us fanfiction#the last of us fic#tlou fanfiction#tlou fic#tlou#the last of us#joel miller#ellie williams
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✨Stay in the Light✨
A/N: I’ve been wanting to do a one shot based off the song “The Night We Met” by Lord Huron for a while, and I finally got some inspiration yesterday to write this little piece. Hope you like it 🩵 Thank you to @mountainsandmayhem for being my beta reader before I decided to release this out to the world 💕
Summary: Joel gets injured after a raider attack, and he’s wishing he could’ve told you all the feelings he held back from you for so long
Word Count: 2.2k
Pairing: Joel x fem! reader
Rating: 18+ Only
Tags: Outbreak! Joel, Jackson! Joel, blood, angst, comfort, feelings, regrets, in both reader and Joel’s POV, no deaths, fluff (I am bad at tags, so let me know if I should add anything)
Dividers by @saradika-graphics
“When the night was full of terrors, and your eyes were filled with tears. When you had not touched me yet. Oh, take me back to the night we met”
- “The Night We Met” by Lord Huron
The ground is cold, wet, unwelcoming with a thick puddle of crimson blood pooling beneath his worn green flannel. Large flecks of powdered snow lace through his grey threaded curls that stick to his sweaty forehead. His vision blurs, going in and out in waves as pain takes hold of his insides. He can hear Tommy screaming in the near distance, his deep voice sounding like it’s washed out beneath a wave of deep water. He can barely register it, barely hear anything, but what he does see is a bright light, an angel in disguise. He sees you.
You. The girl he should’ve been more careful with. Your feelings, your heart, your everything. He was such an asshole ever since the first day you came walking through the front gates of Jackson. He should’ve been nicer, shouldn’t have yelled at you over petty things that were his doing and shouldn’t have thrown insults your way when you were just trying to help on every patrol you were assigned to with him.
Maybe if he would’ve been fucking nicer then maybe this wouldn’t have happened. A clean gunshot to the abdomen, now bleeding out on the thick white snow beneath him. Raiders. He wasn’t being careful, wasn’t paying attention. No, he was fucking fixed on arguing with you. Maybe he deserves it, maybe if he wasn’t such a grouch all the time then maybe none of this would’ve fucking happened. He sure as hell doesn’t deserve you. Warm, bright, gentle, kind. He was none of those things, so why the fuck were you still sitting here with him, keeping him from slipping into the thick fog of darkness?
“Joel! Stay with me, okay? Stay with me.” Your voice is so adamant, so terrified, so hurt. And it fucking kills him, destroys him. “Tommy! Help him!”
Joel sees the gathering tears that burn through your beautiful eyes, sees the absolute horror that’s coated through your knit together eyebrows, sees the pain of holding it all together just like you always do. Always so brave. His brave girl…. NO. You’re not his to keep, not his to hold, not his to tell everything’s going to be alright. You weren’t his and never would be. Not after the way he’s treated you.
He wishes you were his, but you’re not, and it’s his own damn fault for being so reckless. He should’ve been softer, more kind, like you. He should’ve done so many things, should’ve told you just how he felt. How much he likes you, how much he…
He winces in pain as Tommy presses down on the open wound, barely holding himself together to even keep his eyes open, but he fights. He fights for you. The girl he so desperately fell in love with over the last year, the girl he wished he treated differently. He should’ve fucking told you, but now it’s too late. It’s all too late.
“Hey, hey. Joel, look at me. Look at me!” You grab the sides of his face, sink your delicate fingers into the scruff of his greying beard, and cling to him just enough to where maybe he won’t slip through your fingers. You can’t lose him, you can’t.
“Joel, open your eyes. Please, keep them open for me.” You shake his head lightly, kneel over him and let your hair fall in a heap at your side as you pray for one more day with him. “Joel…”
Your voice is so sad, so desperate as you call out for him. He sees your face blur in his spotty vision, sees the glistening tears start to spill down your face. So he reaches up, musters up enough strength to wipe away the falling tears that stain your beautiful face. He thinks you’re so gorgeous, always has. Ever since you walked into his life, he knew. He knew he’d fall, and that’s why he pushed away so strongly. He didn’t want to lose you, he never wanted to. But now you were the one losing him…
He holds the side of your face for just a few more seconds, just enough to finally know he got you, some part of you, if only for a minute. And that was enough for him. At least he knew what it was like to feel your soft skin slipping under the weight of his calloused fingers. That moment alone was all he wanted.
He starts to close his eyes, starts to fade away into the midst of darkness and silence, but he hears you plead to stay in the light. “Stay in the light, Joel. Stay with me. Stay,” you beg. And he carries those words into the darkness with him. And then there’s nothing but the fading words of a promise he never could keep.
Stay in the light.
He awakes slowly, hearing the buzzing sound of some medical machine he doesn’t know the name of. Slowly but surely his eyes open as the harsh light from the blinding window slips against the warm sheets of the sterile bed. It takes him a second to come to himself, to know he’s not dead.
He looks cautiously down at his exposed torso, finding the tight bandage wrapped around his wound. It’s clean, mended to, but the pain burns through his body. Every breath he breathes feels like fire in his lungs, but at least he knows he’s alive.
He feels warmth sliding through his fingertips, feels comfort bubble over his entirety. He wonders what it is, wonders what thing could ever bring him comfort until he slowly turns his head and sees you sitting there on the edge of the bed, fingers laced through his while your thumb gently glides side to side in slow circles on the back of his rough hand.
His eyes go wide, eyebrows knit together as he stares wondrously at the girl he’s been pining over since the day he locked eyes on you. You look so goddamn beautiful there with your fingers threaded through his. He can feel it deep in his gut, that fluttering feeling he’s always tried so hard to push back down, but this time he can’t. He won’t. He can’t ignore the voices anymore that scream your name every single night he’s in between his sheets, wishing he could just have a chance to hold you, to feel you pressed against his firm chest. And maybe he would. One day. Maybe he still had time to make you his.
You hear a faint rustling sound in the sheets and turn your face slightly to the left, expecting it to only be your vivid imagination. Your jaw drops suddenly and your eyes go wide the moment you see Joel awake, breathing, alive.
“Joel!” You turn frantically and crowd his body, locking your arms tight around the back of his neck as you inhale his deep mahogany and pine cone scent.
“Ouch, take it easy!” Joel pants out as you jump back, realizing you might’ve hurt him with your body weight.
“I’m sorry, are you alright?” you ask as you assess his wound, running your fingers lightly over the bandaged area. He winces a little as you smooth out the edges, but he just hums in response.
“I’m fine. Jus’ calm down, will ya?”
You gently smile at him and brace your hands on the fitted sheets, just barely grazing your skin over his warm, sweaty body. Your eyes scan over his bare chest as you take in the coarse hair that covers his broad chest, watching the way the cool sweat glazes over tanned skin. You think he looks so beautiful, even after a gunshot wound. You’ve never seen him bare chested, and it surprises you what it makes you feel inside. Warmth.
“You came back to the light,” you whisper out, grazing your fingertips across the back of his hand as he stares wide-eyed at you, honey eyes so intense that you swear they’re about to split you in half. “I was so scared, Joel. You scared me half to death!”
He just watches you, eyes wading into yours like a violent tidepool about to drag you into the crashing waves, but there’s a fondness to them, a slight gleam in his eyes as he assesses you. Slow, curious, eyes that look like they might shed a tear.
“You… you saved my life today.” His tone is somber, his honey eyes wild as you see tears lick the surface, but he won’t dare shed them. Not in front of you. That’d be too vulnerable.
“Mhm. If Tommy wasn’t there, I don’t know how I would’ve ever gotten you up on that saddle alone. But we did it. We made it in time. I was so scared we were too late. You weren’t… you weren’t really breathing. Even the doctor was worried you wouldn’t make it. You’re a… well, a miracle.”
His face turns pale, lips parted solemnly as he breathes and lets oxygen back into his tired lungs. “Why did you save me?”
His words surprise you as you furrow your eyebrows and shift your weight slightly on the bed so you’re facing him. “What do you mean?” Your words come out shaky, appalled. What did he mean why did you save him?
“Why did you save me?” His honey eyes bore into yours, fingers flexing around the white sheets as he just stares with flared nostrils.
You place a hand gently on top of his warm hand as he tries to pull away, but you don’t let him. “Because I think you’re worth saving.”
His plush lips tremble, his eyes blowing wide as he takes in your quiet words. He looks like he wants to say something, looks like he’s fighting with himself in his mind, but he just stares unblinking, taking in the soft way you look at him.
Finally, he clears his deep voice and rasps out a response. “I’m not worth saving.” His eyes look so sad, defeated, and you wish you could take away all his pain. Physical and emotional, you’d take it all on if it meant he could have one single day where he didn’t wear the weight of the entire world on his tired back.
You lean forward as you hear the creak of the old bed and place your hand gently on his bare chest, feeling the bristles of coarse dark hair running down his tanned skin. “I think you are, Joel.”
He gulps, arms fidgeting beneath you as you see him fight with himself, battling the demons of reaching out or letting you slip through his grasp. He finally finds the courage to slowly, steadily crawl his hand up the side of his chest, then ever so softly places it on top of yours.
“Look, I’m sorry. I’m sorry for bein’ a jerk to you the past year. I was a real asshole, and there’s no excuse for the way I treated you. I think about it every single night, think about how I should’ve done better, how I should’ve tried harder because I… I…” Joel winces in pain as he tries to sit up, but you push him back down easily and try to get him to stay still.
“Hey, careful there. It’s okay, Joel. It’s…”
“No, please let me finish.” You nod your head and he continues with a low grunt through gritted teeth. “I should’ve been nicer to you. And I want to apologize for everything I’ve ever done, every hurtful thing I’ve ever said to you. I didn’t mean it, not really. I’ve jus’… I’ve been goin’ through a lot, but that’s no excuse. Because I should’ve told you how I felt about you, not pushed you away. You see, the thing is… well, thing is I like you, darlin’. A lot. You’re so fuckin’ beautiful and those eyes, that smile. I…”
You cut him off as you lean forward and crash your lips into his, letting his warmth overwhelm you as you slip into him. His tongue tastes like coffee, his skin smells of freshly cut firewood, and he feels so good in the palm of your hand. He surrounds you in something like warmth, ecstasy, something you’ve wanted to feel for so long. He glides his thick fingers through your hair and pulls you closer as he gets lost in you, overwhelming your senses until all you can smell, hear, feel is him. It feels so right, this feels right. You almost forget he’s injured until he grunts and shifts his weight to the right.
You quickly let go of the kiss and lean back, assessing if he’s alright, but he’s smiling. Warm, bright, glowing. You’ve never seen him like this, like he’s the happiest man in the world. It’s that twinkle in his chocolate irises that gets you, and you finally know that this is where you belong. In Jackson, with him.
He guides a strand of hair behind your ear and cups the side of your face as his warm, calloused thumb grazes gently across your cheekbone. “You kept me in the light, sweetheart. You’re exactly what I needed all along, I jus’ wish I didn’t wait so long to find the light.”
You sigh and smile. “It’s okay, Joel. You found it. You found me.”
“You gonna keep the light on for me, sweetheart?”
“Forever, if you want me to.”
He pulls you back in and grazes lightly over your lips as he whispers out, “Forever it is.”
Tagging some friends who might be interested 💛 @sawymredfox @burntheedges @littlevenicebitch69 @keylimebeag @vivian-pascal @rav3n-pascal22 @princesatracionera @bbyanarchist @amyispxnk @pedrostories @syd-djarin @msjarvis @untamedheart81 @survivingandenduring
#joel miller#joel miller fic#joel miller fanfiction#joel x female reader#joel miller pedro pascal#joel miller fluff#joel miller angst#joel x f!reader#post outbreak joel#outbreak!joel#jackson!joel
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Don't Blame Me
Summary | You act impulsively, getting yourself hurt in the process, and Joel freaks out because you did it to protect him.
Pairing | Joel Miller x fem!reader
Word Count | 2.72k
Genre | Angsty but mostly fluff!
Warnings! | Slight smut! (Not really, but sex is implied lol) Ellie giving you two hell, fighting, reader gets hurt, shitty fight scene, probably some inaccuracy not proof read lol.
Authors note! | Hi you guys! It's been so long since I've written something, but I'm back! I am kind of nervous about this one since it has been so long since I have written anything lol, But I hope that you guy's enjoy it! This is the start of my "Swift series", Where I write fics based on Taylor Swift songs. I will link it here once I have everything up about requesting and characters that I will be writing for! Feedback is always appreciated! And as always, I do I have really bad OCD that causes me to write in some random capitalization, and punctuation, But I think that we don't have to worry about that in this fic lol. And let me know if there are any mistakes, but please be kind!
“What the hell were you thinking?” Joel questioned you as you, Joel, and Ellie all walked into the cabin that didn’t belong to any of you. He was pissed, but you couldn’t think about even answering his question right now, not when the gash on your side was bleeding, and hurting to the point of giving you a slight limp.
“Now’s not a good time Joel, If you haven’t noticed, I have something that needs cleaning.” You said trying to ignore him, and find a safety kit, or even just some water and a cloth.
“Yeah, you wouldn’t need to clean anything if you hadn’t been so reckless.” He practically shouted at you from across the room, causing you to roll your eyes.
“Joel, she was just helping you, if she hadn't done anything you could be dead right now.” Ellie interjected, trying to calm down Joel, when all it really did was the opposite.
“Ellie, go to your room.” Joel said, sounding like a true father, as you turned the sink on and running a cloth underneath the water, shocked that there was any.
“What- We don’t live here Joel!” Ellie argued, “I don’t care, just find a room and go in it.” Joel argued back, not caring that he really wasn’t making any sense at the moment.
Ellie sighed before wishing you ‘Good luck’ as she grabbed her backpack and made her way up the stairs to find a bedroom to go in, at least maybe she could get some rest because you knew that you were in for an earful before you could even think about resting.
Joel was so pissed he was basically seeing red. You knew better, or at least he thought that you did to not put yourself in harm's way like that. He knew that living in this world that some things were just bound to happen, but not because you were being reckless.
“Wake me up!, before you go go, don’t leave me hanging on, like a yo-yo!” Sang Ellie and you while walking through the woods on your way to a cabin that Joel happened to know about. Ellie decided to start skipping around Joel as the two of you sang, trying to annoy Joel, or at least get him to join in. Whichever came first.
“Oh come on Joel!, We know you know the words, I mean look at you!” Said Ellie while laughing.
“Ha ha.” Joel responded in his typical monotone voice.
“You know Joel, It won’t kill you to liven up a little-” You started to say before you were cut off by the sound of a twig snapping. A snap that did not come from any of you.
The next thing you see is not one, not two, not three, but four infected, two close to you, one close to Ellie and one close to Joel with Ellie in between you two. They had to be newly infected to be out here, considering there were no other ones around. Your two started walking towards you, being further away than the other ones, but you were focused on the one closest to Ellie, putting two bullets in that one before you heard the two closest to you getting a little too close. You turned around fast enough to get 2 more bullets into one of them. But when you went to shoot the next one, you were out. It started getting closer, but was far enough for you to get the small ax out of your backpack. You went to hit it, but it fell to the ground from another bullet, one of Joels.
Joel was turned towards you now, not able to see the one coming up from behind him. You acted on pure impulse and charged at it with your ax, taking its head off in one clean slate since it was so newly infected, it wasn’t too hard. But in your act of heroism, you tripped and fell onto a sharp rock, cutting your side. Making you end up here, with an ungrateful and grumpy Joel.
“Hand it over.” Joel suddenly said while pulling up a chair next to the one that you set in.
“If you are going to just sit there and scold me the entire time, I would rather do it myself.” You said, almost being interrupted from wincing. He grabbed the cloth from your hand while you held the side of your shirt up. The two of you sat in silence while he cleaned the wound. You just looked at him, taking in his features. He looked so focused, like if he made one wrong move you would break. You found it sweet how he was helping you, until he started talking again.
“You know, you’re lucky to be alive, that could have killed you.”
“No, you’re the one that’s lucky to be alive.” You said to him, making him roll his eyes as he finished wrapping up your cut. He stood up, with his hands in fist. It infuriated you, you saved his life and all he could do was gripe about it.
“If I didn’t cut it’s head off fast enough, you could be dead right now Joel, One stupid cut is not the end of the world.” You yelled at him while standing up. He’s never seen you this angry, especially not with him. The two of you typically had an understanding, Protect Ellie, and don’t die while doing it. Yes, the two of you talked when you had the chance, You even made him laugh a few times (Counting the times when his ‘Laugh’ was just the side of his mouth turning upwards). But you never got this angry at each other.
“Yeah, and if you hadn’t made just the right cut at just the right time, you could be dead right now Y/n, Why don’t you realize that, you can’t be impulsive like that.” He said to you with his back turned to you, washing his hands.
“But, I’m not Joel, I’m not dead, I’m right here, Everything's okay, Everyone’s alive Joel!” You yelled back at him, with his back still turned.
“Ellie needs you more than she needs me, when the situation calls for it you put your life before mine you hear me?” He asks you, both hands on each side of the sink and looking down.
“And, watch something happen to you? You want me to just sit around and do absolutely nothing if you’re in danger?”
“It’s not about me-”
“Look at me when you’re talking to me Joel!” You yelled at him, causing him to finally look at you. When he turned, you couldn’t tell what he was feeling.
“Joel, I’m okay, I’m fine. It’s just a little cut.” You said to him. Not knowing how he would react, his face was expressionless.
“But it was almost worse.” He said walking closer to you, he stopped once he got close to your face. “I don’t want to lose someone I care about again.”
“Joel, what is this about-” You asked, but you couldn’t get the question out completely, before both of his hands were placed on each side of your face, pulling you in and pressing his lips to yours.
The kiss was rough and almost demanding. It was like if he let go you would somehow go away. Once the shock set in, you finally kissed him back, lips moving in perfect rhythm with him. His hands found their way to your waist while yours found their way to the back of his neck. It was pure bliss, but then he pulled away.
“You think we should move this to a bedroom, sweetheart?” He asked, lips starting to trail down your neck. The small yes that he heard from you next was all that he needed to lead you into the closest one.
The next morning you woke up, alone. It only freaked you out for a moment, until you heard the voices coming from the kitchen. While you were getting dressed, you heard Ellie say something that caught your ear.
“I told you to say something!” Ellie said to Joel while eating what he decided to prepare that morning. You could smell the food and it actually smelled good, which meant that whoever Joel knows that owns this place, keeps it stocked up. “You were always denying it, but I knew you were in love with her!”
“Ellie, hush and eat your food.” Joel said, turning around from making you a plate to have as you walked in. “Mornin’” He said, making eye contact with you, a sight smile coming to the mans face.
“Morning.” You said, sitting next to Ellie, as Joel slid you your plate. “You didn’t have to, I can make my own plate.” You said smiling at him.
“Yes he does, that's the least he can do after last night.” Ellie said laughing as you went wide eyed and Joel glared at her. You thought, based on the part of their conversation that you heard, that maybe Joel had just told her that you two had finally gotten together. You didn’t know that she knew what had happened last night.
“She’s been giving me shit all morning.” Joel said, turned around making his own plate now.
“It’s not my fault you two are so fucking loud, You know how hard it was to fall asleep last night?” Ellie said while taking a bite of her food.
“You were all the way upstairs, how did you even hear anything?” You turned to her and asked.
“She was probably scrummagin’ through the kitchen like a damn racoon.” Joel said sitting down across from the two of you causing Ellie to scoff.
“Um no, I was down here looking for the bathroom and heard things that will haunt my nightmares for years.” Ellie said while cringing. “Is that what made you go crazy and attack an infected with a fucking ax?” Ellie asked you, causing Joel to pause and look at you while waiting for your answer.
“Yep” You answered before looking back down at your food.
“So it’s your fault I had to hear all of that?” Ellie said accusingly.
“Um no, don’t blame me for this, Joel initiated it.” You said while taking your plate back into the kitchen.
“Damn Joel, I didn’t know you had it in you.” Ellie said while Joel got up to take his plate back too.
“Ellie, stop talking and finish your food, we need to get back on the road.” He said as he washed his plate off, taking yours from you to do the same.
You were afraid of things being awkward since you hadn’t clarified anything with Joel yet and it was already an hour later. But as you got out of the shower, Joel was sitting on the bed, facing the bathroom door as you walked out dressed for the day, with a towel in your hand.
“What? Are you wanting me to hurry up that bad? Are you that eager to get back on the road Joel?” You asked while drying your hair with the towel.
“I just wanted to see you, without Ellie around to make jokes before we left.” Joel said while standing up and walking towards you “I just wanted to make sure that you knew that I wasn’t just using you last night, because I do like you Y/n” He said while wrapping his arms around you.
“I like you too, Joel.” You said, placing your hands on his shoulders.
“Just don’t let that make you crazy and attack another infected without a decent weapon again, Okay?” He said looking you in the eyes.
“As if you wouldn’t do the same for me, Miller.” You said, smiling up at him. He knew he could trust you to take care of yourself, he also knew that you were right. He would do anything to protect Ellie and you.
“Yeah yeah.” He said leaning down to kiss you before exiting the room with you.
“Thank god you two were quieter that time.” Ellie said while picking up her bag.
“Ellie, get your mind out of the gutter and let’s go.” Joel said opening the door, ushering you two out.
“We are never going to live this down are we?” You said to Joel as you walked out, but Ellie answered before he could.
“Nope!”
#joel miller#joel miller the last of us#joel miller tlou#joel miller pedro pascal#joel miller fanfiction#joel miller hbo#joel miller fic#joel miller x you#joel miller x y/n#joel miller x reader#joel miller fluff#joel miller angst#joel miller smut#tlou hbo#the last of us#tlou#tlou series#the last of us hbo#ellie#ellie williams#tess servopoulos#pedro pascal#pedro pascal fanfiction#pedro pascal joel miller#pedro pascal fic#pedro pascal fluff#pedro pascal angst#pedro pascal smut#bella ramsey#joel miller imagine
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kill kill 2
joel miller x reader
🫧 part 2 | ✩°｡⋆⸜ 🎧 PART 1 | PART 3
🫧 based off kill kill by lana del rey, written loosly off the lyrics
🫧 description: angst, heated arguing, all of this is dramatized tbh, outbreak! joel, reader having a meltdown, no mentions of y/n, reader is in distress, joel tries his best to calm you down, soft joel, suggestive not really, mentions of joel dying (not word for word but just something happening to him)
Tell me about Ray and his girl
Do I know Ray has gone to meet you?
Love you, I do
Stay here, I won't
The stars fade from your eyes
🫧
Joel stood there speechless to say the least. you didnt mean the way it sounded but also perfectly explained how you felt “all i do is wait even if i go outside to tend the garden, practice my range, visit tommys or the stables, or even fucking leaving this house at all! no matter what i do, i am waiting. my mind goes in circles knowing all the things you face out there. you wouldnt even begin to understand the feeling my heart feels everytime you walk out that goddamn door- heartbreak is not even the fucking word.” you sob out, youre speech of pure pent up emotions.
you hadn’t spoken much words in that past months, if anything you spent more time writing them than saying them. this was, to say the least the most youve said in months. youre sobs didnt stop even after. Joel stood there for only a moment before immediately taking you into his embrace, his bulked up completely engulfing your vulnerable one.
“oh…princess, shh” Joel shushes into your ear, you squirm wanting to pull away in frustation as a river of tears fall down your puffy cheeks. Joel didnt budge until you began to grunt in his embrace, not giving up the struggle to get out of his arms “please doll-dont fight me” Joel says softly, struggling slightly because of the slight push of your hands “let go of me! Ive done everything i can! im so alone-im so alone! its like youre dead. we all might aswell be…” you get quieter on your last two sentences, becoming timid but still youre mind in a frenzy.
“nothing is going to happen to me.” Joel states, he meant it. although you loved him dearly, you knew he wasnt immune to infected or a human bullet-proof vest. no matter how much skill.
“you and i know better than to say that.” you state coldly, his big deep eyes that you swore you saw stars in them each time fall. he knew you were right “lemme get the shower runnin’ f’us doll? wha’da ya say?” he suggests softly, a soft smile tugging his lips while wiping the tears from your pink puffy cheeks. you just nod returning the soft smile.
he helped you up the stairs into your bathroom. you just hopped up ontop of your sink counter, opening your medicine cabinet to get your med-kit while Joel got the hot shower running for both of you.
it was winter, the last time you had seen him it was fall.
you couldn’t help all the random thoughts that overfilled your mind “did ya’ hear me darlin?” Joel calls out to you, settling you out of your head into reality “hm?” you hummed softly, confused. Joel just threw you a soft grin while walking closer to you “our bath is ready” he says, his hands resting on your thighs. you giggle slightly, playing with the buttoms of his button-up “im sorry doll. my intentions are never to hurt you. that is the last thing i want to do. there isnt enough medicine supply at Tommy’s, you knew were responsible for to go out for supply.” Joel says softly, slowly pulling off your furry cardigan from your shoulders. you roll your eyes, your attitude inches away from coming back “Tommy has plenty of men.” your tone came out a bit harsh “those men have families m’doll” he explains, caressing your cheek.
you couldnt fight there, you werent dumb enough to argue with family. you werent family whatsoever but you were somebody.
“i know, but last time i checked because of me you have a place to come home too! and yes, you have your own place at Tommys. yet, theres a reason you come here. i deserve more.” you explain and there goes your eyes, welling up with tears. you refused to look at Joel in the eyes.
Joel couldnt say anything as he didnt think about it like that, yes he had his own house yet nothing made it ‘home’. you were right “yes doll, m’such a fucked up old man…i aint even realize that without you, all this i considered home. it would seize to exist.”
from the first word to his last, his fingers slowly undressed you with each sentence building up and leaving his mouth. youre loose long sleeve with sly buttons already popped off and open. his hands rested on your legging covered thighs.
you shuddered under his touch, feeling already soft under his sharp gaze. he meant every word he said “let me make it up to you, princess” he says, his fingers finding the hemming of your soft leggings.
you leaned up at him, looking up at him wirh such loving teary eyes. you were inches away from kissing him, your hands beginning to unbutton his dark long sleeve.
“only if you stay”
🫧
I'm in love with a dying man
I'm in love with a dying man
I'm in love, lying in the sand
I'm in love with a dying man
I have done everything I can
#pedro pascal#pedrostories#joel miller pedro pascal#joel hbo#joel miller the last of us#joel miller smut#joel miller tlou#joel tlou#joel the last of us#the last of us fandom#the last of us fanfiction#joel miller x reader#joel miller#joel miller fanfiction#joel miller fic#joel miller fluff#joel miller x you#joel miller comfort#joel miller x y/n#joel miller hbo#joel miller headcanon#joel miller drabble
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Is it everything you hoped for? 🌿
#middimidoriart#the last of us#Pedro pascal#Joel miller#joel miller pedro pascal#tlou#tlou show#tlou series#tlou hbo#joel miller fanart#pedro pascal fanart#fanart
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This is for the @swiftiscruff Friendship Exchange! Dedicated to @mountainsandmayhem @littlevenicebitch69 and all my other freaky little friends on here who love a strong female who can boss Joel around just a bit 😂❤️ (Nicole, I just know you’re gonna love this so much)
✨Joel Miller was always the type of man to please you. He’d do anything for his favorite girl. He’d get down on his knees before you, let the hardwood floor claw at his flesh just to taste every last drop of your sweet arousal as he licked endlessly at your melting core. His deft fingers would dig into the plush of your thighs. His thick, tousled curls buried between your legs, gravelly voice groaning your name every time you pushed your fingertips through his greying locks. He had it so bad for you that he was willing to do anything for you. Anything at all for his gorgeous, demanding temptress. All you had to do was say the word, and he’d oblige. For you were his just as he was yours, and he’d never ever let a goddess like you pass him by.✨
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We are all just maladaptive daydreaming to music and playing out our fan fic scenarios in our minds, huh?
#this is the vibe#this is fine#writer problems#just writer things#joel miller pedro pascal#joel miller#maladaptive daydreaming
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