#avengers shenanigans
Text
This is more AA than MCU but I can't imagine AA Tony doing this lmao.
--
"Mr. Stark," Peter said, looking up from his phone.
"I'm not doing another TikTok," Tony answered immediately, not looking up from his tablet.
Peter scoffed, as if he wasn't going to suggest just that. "I was just going to ask if you ever wondered what Captain America sees when he looks at you."
Tony lifted his head, preemptively exhausted. "His name is Steve."
"It feels illegal to call him that," Peter said defensively. "Do you know how many times I've had to watch his school specials? 'So. You got detention.'"
Tony turned to look over the couch at him. "Would it make you feel better if I told you that it took him six takes because the first five, he followed it up with 'you fucked up' instead of 'you messed up?'"
"Yes," Peter answered. He began tapping frantically at his phone. Probably trying not to look suspicious as he asked JARVIS for access to the blooper reels. "You didn't answer my question."
Tony sighed, closing his eyes, then turned to look at him again. "I know what Steve sees when he looks at me. I'm out of the bathroom and ready for work by the time he gets back from his runs."
Peter blinked back at him, probably going for innocent and failing, because Tony knew him. "No, I mean how you look from his height. You're five-seven--"
"Five foot eight," Tony cut in. "And Steve's six feet tall. It's not like he's a giant and I'm an oompa loompa."
"Steve's six-foot-three," Peter told him gently.
"Steve is not two thirds of a foot taller than me," Tony sputtered, offended. He was a perfectly respectable five-eight and Steve was a frustrating six-foot brick. He was not three inches taller than that. Tony would not allow it.
"He is," Peter assured him, with that same gentle tone. "JARVIS?"
Tony whipped his head around to glare at one of JARVIS's cameras. There was a long pause, as if he was considering his answer. Finally, though, he replied, "From current measurements, Mr. Parker seems correct in his assertions."
"Not if I take him out at the knees," Tony hissed.
Peter stared at him for a very long time, looking unsure of whether he wanted to continue the conversation. Finally, though, he rallied. "I think we should see what Steve sees."
"My beautiful face," Tony answered sternly, looking back down at his tablet. He poked at some measurements for the engine he was designing for a moment, then turned to scowl at him. "And how do you suggest we do that?"
Peter finally hopped off his stool and walked over to the nearest wall, crawling up so he could fix his phone to it at the proper height with some webbing. He tapped at the camera for a moment, then hopped back down onto the ground and waved up at it. "Ta-da! This should be about the height of Steve's eyes."
Reluctantly, Tony set his tablet aside and got up off the couch. He already didn't like what he was seeing in the camera from a distance.
"Why is there a camera on the wall?" Natasha asked, stepping out of the elevator. She began moving toward the kitchen, circling the camera's main view.
"We're checking to see what we look like to Steve," Peter offered.
Tony grimaced as he looked up into the camera. "Oh my god. Natasha, come here."
"No," Natasha answered. "I'm hungry."
"I look like I should be," Tony began, covering his mouth in horror as he moved from side to side. "Oh my god." He turned back to the camera and lifted his hands up like he would to wrap them around the back of Steve's neck. "I look like I should be saying 'up,'" he finished tearfully.
Natasha appeared beside him a second later, looking horrified in the camera's reflection. "This is what he sees when he looks at me?"
"You're even smaller than I am, what the fu--" Tony covered his mouth again, dropping his gaze down to his feet so he couldn't see the video anymore. He tipped his head up to look through his lashes, unable to help wondering what that looked like to Steve, and let out a howl of dismay. No wonder Steve always teased him about pouting when he was in a sulk or mad.
Natasha took a step closer and looked like she instantly regretted it. She pulled a knife. It didn't look threatening, even to her, and she knew she'd follow through on a stab. "Oh," she said, and then her hands flew to her head, turning away from the camera. "Oh my god Tony."
"This is the worst thing that's ever happened to me," Tony whispered, reaching up to grab the phone down.
"Thor's taller," Natasha choked out.
Tony froze, hand halfway toward the phone, then let out a scream and crumpled to the ground as if he'd been shot.
Peter grabbed his phone while Tony and Natasha were recovering and bolted for the elevator. He didn't want them blaming him for this revelation. He passed Steve, Thor, and Clint as he was rushing out of the lobby and managed a short but sincere, "I'm sorry for what's about to happen to you."
"What?" Steve called after him, aghast, but Peter didn't turn.
218 notes
·
View notes
Text
Avengers incorrect quotes?!
Steve: You disgust me.
Clint: *eating a kitkat sideways* I realize this and don’t care.
Thor: I will send my army to attack!
Thor: *releases a dumpster of raccoons*
Thor: You know, there's something weird going on with your face?
Natasha: What?
Thor: You’re smiling! I didn't know you could do that?
Natasha: I’m never donating blood ever again.
Natasha: The second you walk through the door, it’s just one invasive question after another!
Natasha: ‘Where did you get it?’ 'Why is it in a bucket?’ I mean, do you want it or not?
Steve: What can therapy do for me that screaming in my car for 30 minutes can’t?
Bruce: There's nothing worse than people using big words they don't understand.
Steve: I photosynthesize with this.
Clint: We have a problem.
Steve: Let me guess, you caused it?
Tony: Gimme a sec, I'm not drunk enough to listen to this yet.
Bruce: And it's another Tuesday, your point?
Natasha: Would shooting you solve this problem? No? Then shut up.
Thor: If you mean the fire, that's our solution to last week's problem.
Thor: If this plan goes down the drain, where should we regroup?
Bruce: The afterlife, I guess.
Bruce: I'm gonna need a human skull but you can't ask why.
Clint: Only if you also don't ask why.
Clint: *pulls four pristine human skulls out of his bag*
Bruce: ...
Bruce, grabbing a skull: This one will do.
Bruce: Throw lamps at people who need to lighten up, and throw handles at someone who needs to get a grip!
Clint: Throw a refrigerator at someone who needs to chill!
Tony: Throw scissors at someone who needs to cut it out!
Steve: Throw a clock at someone who needs to get with the times!
Natasha: Throw matches at someone who needs to get fired up!
Thor: Throw a brick at someone to kill them.
Bruce: If you got arrested what would be the charges?
Tony: Theft.
Thor: Disturbing the peace.
Steve: Aggravated assault.
Natasha: Arson.
Clint: All of the above. In that order, probably.
Tony: Are you trying to give me a fucking aneurysm?
Natasha: Pretty sure we all are.
Bruce: I wasn't.
Thor: I was.
Steve: I was trying to stop them, for your consideration.
Clint: I just cause aneurysms naturally.
Bruce: Go and tell Tony why you insisted on putting a normal-sized carrot in a bag of baby carrots.
Clint:
Bruce: Do it, tell him what you told me earlier.
Clint, stuttering: I-it's because... th-they need adult supervision...
Tony:
Tony: Your smile? It makes my day.
Pepper: Your happiness? I live for that.
Natasha: A room? Get one.
Thor: Hotel? Trivago.
*The Squad is on a hike*
Natasha: It’s beautiful out here.
Steve: And quiet.
Tony: Too quiet.
Clint: Did we lose someone?
*cut to Thor with a bear in a headlock*
*Something crashes*
Tony: Shoot-
Steve: *running into the room in a panic* WHAT FELL?!
Thor: *walking by the room calmly* What died?
Kidnapper: I have one of your friends.
Tony: Which one? I have seven.
Kidnapper: The loud, annoying, rowdy one who never shuts up.
Tony: Which one? I have seven.
Clint, distantly: HEY!!!
Thor: I wasn't injured that badly. The doctor said all my bleeding was internal, that's where the blood's supposed to be!
Bruce: I hate taking off my glasses, because without them, my vision goes from Full HD all the way down to buffering at 240p and I just can't handle that.
Thor: I WOULD DESTROY THE WORLD FOR YOU GUYS!
Bruce: Okay, can you do the dishes?
Thor: No!
*at a zoo*
Thor: What are they in for?
Steve: Thor, this isn't prison.
Thor: So they can leave?
Steve: No, but-
Thor, pointing at a meerkat: I bet that one murdered someone.
Bruce: I just want someone to take me out.
Natasha: On a date?
Clint: With a sniper gun?
Thor: Both if you're not a coward.
Thor, Clint & Bruce: *screaming*
Natasha: *runs into the room* What's wrong, Bruce?!
Thor: Wait, why are you asking Bruce that when Clint and I are also here?
Natasha: Because Bruce wouldn't scream unless it's an emergency. You two scream whenever you have the chance.
*Squad reactions to being told ‘I love you’*
Thor: Thanks fam!
Clint: Oh no.
Bruce: *cries* I love you too.
Natasha: Sounds fake, but okay.
Steve: *A flustered mess*
Tony: Can I get a refund?
Thor: *trying to buy a Father's Day card for Odin at Hallmark*
Thor: Excuse me, do you have any that just say "You are my dad?"
Associate: Well, I-
Thor: How about "You impregnated my mother?"
Associate: No...
Thor: You know what, I'll just get a blank one.
Thor: *writes* You are a father. This is a day. Here is a card.
Steve: Accidentally indulged in too much ‘free time’, turns out I've been reported missing for over sixty years and presumed dead by most local and national authorities.
Clint, bleeding out on the ground: Blood loss? No, I know exactly where it is.
Thor: What did you order this morning?
Bruce: What do you mean?
Thor: I heard you answer the door, and I sensed food.
Clint: .. .----. -- / … --- .-. .-. -.-- (translation: I'M SORRY)
Natasha: What's that?
Clint: Remorse code.
Natasha: I'm even angrier now.
Bruce: Synonyms are weird because if you invite someone to your cottage in the forest, that just sounds nice and cozy. But if I invite you to my cabin in the woods you’re going to die.
Tony: My favorite is explaining the difference between a butt dial and a booty call.
Clint: It’s called connotations.
Steve: Try this one on for size, “Forgive me, Father, I have sinned” vs “Sorry, Daddy, I've been naughty."
Natasha: Great news! Language is now banned!
Loki: Twilight Sparkle was the main character because she represented the element of friendship—
Clint, tied up: PLEASE, I JUST WANT TO SEE MY FAMILY AGAIN!
Loki: I'M NOT DONE!
Loki: And Rainbow Dash was the sporty girl—
Natasha: I’d kill someone if you asked me to.
Steve: I’m pretty sure you’d kill someone even if I didn't ask you to.
Tony: Hoodie pockets are so great. I can fit like three sandwiches and a grenade in there and my hands are still warm.
Clint: We need a distraction.
Steve: Is anyone here good at jumping up and down and making weird noises?
Thor, whispering: My time has come.
Steve: Do you have a bobby pin?
Natasha: Yeah. *searches in her hair*
Natasha: Oh, no, wait. I’m not a nine-year-old girl.
Bruce: New challenge! Don't say stupid shit for 24 hours!
Bruce: So oxygen went on a date with potassium, it went... OK.
Tony: I thought oxygen was dating magnesium, OMG.
Bruce: Actually oxygen first asked nitrogen out, but nitrogen was all like NO.
Clint: I thought oxygen had that double bond with the hydrogen twins.
Natasha: Looks like someone's a HO.
Tony: NaBrO.
Steve: I'm done with all of you!
#the avengers#tony stark#natasha romanoff#clint barton#bruce banner#thor odinson#steve rogers#loki laufeyson#pepper potts#avengers shenanigans#marvel incorrect quotes#fucking idiots
31 notes
·
View notes
Note
Bucky: Can I be frank with you guys?
Sam : Sure, but I don’t see how changing your name is gonna help.
Y/N: Can I still be Y/N?
Steve: Shh, let Frank speak.
//
Bucky: Isn’t it weird that we pay money to see other people?
Sam : Plane tickets?
Y/N: Concert tickets?
Steve: Prostitution?
Bucky, holding their broken frames: Glasses.
//
Bucky: Good responses for being stabbed with a knife?
Sam : Rude.
Y/N: That’s fair.
Steve: Not again.
Tony: Are you going to want this back?
A group chat with them would be insane and interesting
A group chat with them would be fantastic. 😂 I also love that Steve jumped to prostitution with seeing people. 🤣 And Tony and Bucky getting along enough to be in a chat together. ❤️
And the reactions when you and Bucky or Steve (or both) start flirting. 😏
Love and thanks! ❤️
#navybrat answers#character ask#group chat#avengers shenanigans#bucky barnes#😂🤣😂#playboystark#sending love ❤️#asks are always appreciated
149 notes
·
View notes
Text
Peter Parker, terrible at lying, trying to explain why he’s in Wade Wilson’s apartment without revealing that he’s there for Spiderman related reasons, looking the Avenger’s straight in the eyes and claiming he’s Wade’s life coach
#Spiderman#spider man#spider-man#Peter Parker#Deadpool#peter b parker#peter benjamin parker#wade wilson#Wade w Wilson#wade winston wilson#not technically spideypool but in my eyes definitely the start of spideypool shenanigans#the avengers#I’m not sure who actually it’d be funniest for him to say it to#like to me funniest would be prof x but he’d know immediately why Peter was lying#I want people to be confused cause that’s def a lie but what….could possibly be the truth?#settled on avengers
719 notes
·
View notes
Text
Tony's First Child
Steve: Is Pepper pregnant?
Tony: Oh goodness, no! I couldn't handle a kid.
LATER:
Also Tony: I've just adopted my first teenager. Peter say hi.
Peter: ...Hi?
Avengers: ...
Tony: *beaming at his son*
#tony stark#iron man#peter parker#spider man#steve rogers#captain america#avengers#marvel shenanigans#marvel memes#mcu memes#marvel#marvel cinematic universe#mcu#captain america civil war
414 notes
·
View notes
Note
Happy Solstice, Shana! more Lady Mo or something else genderbendy?
Tony's spent her whole life proving she was good enough to make it in a man's world. Her own father had written her off as a debutante, but he'd let her spend time in his workshop and look over the papers spread over his desk, on his lap or a safe distance away from all the sparks. He probably thought she liked the pictures and the lights.
She builds an engine when she's six years old, her dress torn and stained with grease and and burning with pride as she grins up at her father.
It's the first time Howard ever sees her and, she thinks, when he stops loving her.
Existing in a man's world is different than being a man. She's not allowed to forget, to indulge, she can't ever be anything else any other way than a performance.
Her whole life is a performance, so maybe there's no real difference.
She can wear broad silhouettes and make sure no one calls her Antonia and keep her hair in it's iconic pixie cut have her employees call her sir - ma'am was her mother, she says with a laugh, and god knows she took more after daddy dearest - and she spends so much of her time having dick measuring contests with generals and business rivals and every man that thinks he can put his hands on her that sometimes it's a shock to remember she doesn't have one of her own.
It's not that she doesn't like being a girl, that she doesn't get a thrill out of outrageous dresses and all her soft curves, that she doesn't like at least seeing something of her mother in her mouth and her nose.
It's just that she thinks that she could be something more. That she is something more.
But that sort of things belong to someone who doesn't have her life, her job and her responsibilities and the eyes of the world watching her every move.
~
She doesn't even think about the fact that the armor is a man, narrow hips and broad shoulders and nothing feminine about his cold curves of metal, until Pepper sees it.
Pepper is quiet after, pressing ice to her bruises as she sits by Tony's hips. Her eyes stray to the arc reactor, a diamond of light glowing between her breasts. A circle would have been a more solid matrix but would have required her to get a mastectomy to make it fit.
She's thought about having a smooth chest before, but in the moment when it was an option that she could reasonably provide to the public - a medical device, for her health - she'd balked, and lost a day to redesign to make it something less, something that would fit and not require her to change to too much.
It had felt like a metaphor, or a sermon, as she'd beat sheets of metal until she bled.
Pepper asks, "Is it to protect your identity? So they don't think it's you?"
Tony stares, caught off guard, her mouth open in answer that she hesitates to give because she knows it's a lie. She doesn't like lying to Pepper.
She softens. "Or is it the opposite?"
Tony is sore and exhausted and Obie is acting strangely and Rhodey isn't talking to her (he calls her and he'll call again and again until she picks up, but he won't say a word, will just listen to her breathe to make sure she still is and then hang up like a fucking a coward) and she just killed sort of a lot of people and her weapons are where they shouldn't be and every defense she's built up around this question feels like it's crumbling around her.
"Pepper," she says, then can't bring herself to say anything else.
She doesn't want to lie to her.
"I like the paint job," Pepper says, hand soft where it's gripping her shoulder. Tony hasn't had soft hands since her father loved her.
"I like red," Tony says and Pepper's cheeks turn the same color as her hair.
#identity shenanigans and gender fuckery#my two favorite things#tony keeps her identity as iron man a secret#which totally works#for a while#prompt answers#prompts are closed#asks#alexseanchai#avengers
459 notes
·
View notes
Text
Imagine if the Justice League and the Avengers met.
Like, I know there are canon crossover events between the two universes, but I'm not talking about those shenanigans. I don't want Dark Claw (Batman and Wolverine combined into one) and I don't want them all fighting each other...at least to start.
No. Imagine if it's just a normal Tuesday between invasions in NYC and everyone's chilling at Avengers Tower. Loki decides he's bored and opens a portal three floors down from the main living area in an open room. The alarms go off and The Flash or Wonder Woman stumble into the tower, the rest of the Justice League following suit.
Now, Loki is known for avoiding the consequences of his actions, so all he does is smile and disappear, leaving these strange heroes locked in a room in Avengers Tower. Because the alarms are blaring, the Avengers are soon suited up and are now facing the JL. Hijinks ensue as the Marvel Heroes and DC Heroes have to work together to get the JL back home.
Bonus points if the JL somehow manage to keep identities (pre reveal) from each other through a series of comedic close calls. It's probably Clint's fault. Tony would probably end up with the blame.
Extra bonus points if Spidey doesn't come in until later. Like, the heroes all want to spar against each other, and Peter shows up, joins in for fun, and absolutely tanks a hit from Superman and gets right back up. The only reason it surprises anyone is because the JL was pretty sure he was just a normal human intern or something (having confirmed that Metahumans don't exist here).
More extra bonus points if, after they confirm that Metahumans don't exist here and the only superpowers are from lab accidents, they find files about the Mutants. The Avengers tell them not to touch that with a 30 foot pole because they don't have the time to explain all of that right now and they really can't be splitting their attention from trying to get the JL home.
Dealer's choice on if there's any huge conflict or not. (Personally, I think this works as a comedy just fine as is, but I leave that up to you)
#writing prompt#if you write this (or something like it) please tag me#dc#dc comics#dcu#jl#justice league#dc x marvel#marvel#marvel comics#mcu#marvel cinematic universe#the avengers#avengers#comedy#hijinks#shenanigans#loki is a tricster god#this is 100% something he would do
64 notes
·
View notes
Text
Yours Submissively ~ Masterlist
Steve Rogers X OFC Isabella Davis
Summary: Five Years after the events of Civil War, Steve Rogers has moved on from avenging and has started his own business, Grant Inc. He has a secret that would turn his world upside down. And he's good at keep that secret. Until he meets the woman with violet eyes that could bring him to his knees. Now his mission is to make her, his. But she is the key that could bring the world into balance... or chaos. And she has no idea.
Series Warnings: smut, angst, sexual themes of BDSM, dom/sub dynamics, kidnapping, (and a bunch of others that will come up)
Updates will be done every Friday and Monday!
Dividers by @firefly-graphics
I do NOT give permission for my work to be translated or reposted on here or any other site, even if you give me credit. DO NOT REPOST MY FICS. Reblogs, comments, likes, and feedback ALWAYS appreciated
Main Masterlist
Prologue / Control / Innocence / Intrigued / Infatuation / Excess / Consent / Primero / Contract / Consideration / Communication / Pamper / Masquerade / Realization / Solitude / Experimentation / Flirtation / Innuendo / Adjudication / Desolation / Hindsight / Compromise / Jeopardize / Legacy / Possessive / Advancement / Relocation / Broken / Neglected / Frustration / Conversations / Preparations / Commitment / Devotion / Education / Flee / Sanctuary / Incinta / Devious / Consequences / Understanding / Nacita / Dreams / Yours
#andy's hea#andy's shenanigans#yours submissively#chris evans fanfiction#steve rogers au#steve rogers smut#steve rogers fanfiction#Steve Rogers x OFC#Bucky barnes#chris evans#mcu fanfiction#Steve rogers#steve rogers imagine#chris evans au#avengers au
137 notes
·
View notes
Text
#steve rogers#captain america#poll#sunday shenanigans#marvel mcu#first avenger#catws#age of ultron#captain america civil war#avengers infinity war#avengers
74 notes
·
View notes
Text
youtube
sharing this gem to wish tom hiddleston a happy birthday from all at jeremyleerenner.com
#tom hiddleston#jeremy renner#scarlett johanson#avengers#marvel#mcu#loki#hawkeye#black widow#shenanigans
24 notes
·
View notes
Text
WOAAAAH, Wacky crossover tiem. XP
from 2022
#karamatsu matsuno#crossover shitpost#crossover shenanigans#chuck e cheese#the rock afire explosion#pizza time theatre#avenger chuck#pui pui molcar#kidcore#iyami#ososan#sardweebsart
19 notes
·
View notes
Text
Really dropped the ball on all the opportunities this makes:
Tony wasn’t one of those vampires that made your hair stand on end when you entered a room. He didn’t put you ill at ease or make you shiver with anxiety. He didn’t take long glances at throats and wrists and thighs and lick his lips in a way that made blood thrum louder in your veins. Fruit bats, after all, were seen as the tamer, calmer cousins of their blood-sucking, carnivorous family.
So it came as a shock when, one morning at team breakfast, Tony opened the fridge, paused, and then it felt like all the air had been sucked out of the room. “Where’s my fucking juice,” he asked, voice void of emotion.
No one said anything for a moment, too stunned to speak. Finally, though, it was Natasha who said, “Ah, the apricot? I used the last of it over some ice cream. I thought there was plenty of mango left.”
“I used the mango for a smoothie,” Bruce admitted, voice small. “But there was orange juice in the back?”
“Oh my fucking god,” Steve sighed, putting his head in his hands, because he always drank a big glass of orange juice with breakfast, and he’d carelessly thought ‘Tony still has mango and apricot’ as he emptied the last of the orange juice into his cup.
Tony turned, eyes glowing red, muscle in his jaw ticking as he obviously swallowed back his anger. He was good at cataloging insecurities to throw them back in people’s faces, after all, and this was the first time all of his food was gone, so it really didn’t warrant a huge blowup. But he’d been looking forward to breakfast after a full night in the lab and not one, not two, but all three of his choices were gone.
“Tony,” Thor offered solemnly, pushing the fruit bowl toward him. “Would whole fruit be okay until we can buy you more juice today?”
“It’ll do,” Tony allowed, figuring they were too afraid to tease him for his smaller fangs and his apathy for juice dripping down his face and into his clothes.
Clint came in before he could reach for anything, squinting at the back of a bottle. “Hey, I noticed all of Tony’s juice was gone and I added it to the list for when Steve goes shopping today, anyway I remembered I had a Naked in the freezer I was saving, but it’s got carrot in it and I don’t know if he’s okay with vegetables??”
Tony grabbed Clint by the shoulders, swung him around into a dip, and kissed him directly on the mouth. Then he plucked the juice from his lax fingers, dropped him, and skulked out of the room, muttering under his breath about the health benefits of carrots to vampires.
Clint laid where he’d been dropped for several minutes before he sat up, smacking his lips. “You know it never occurred to me that he might taste good to kiss and yet somehow I’m shocked he tastes like fruit.”
“Why don’t you explain it to Steve in very small words,” Natasha replied, and then ducked when Steve lunged at her, shouting for her to leave him alone about his crush on Tony when he’d literally just been fearing for his life over some fucking orange juice.
#ideas#stony#if you squint#avengers shenanigans#team as family#vampire Tony#we are sleeping on fruit bats my beloveds
164 notes
·
View notes
Note
5, 11
5. Favorite platonic pairing?
Oh this is really hard; I’m the kind of aro-spec person that reads nearly all romantic ships as platonic with out really realizing it, I do love a good platonic Loki + Tony Stark or Loki + Peter Parker
Loki + anyone in the avengers era really
11. Most unique merch you have for a fandom?
I hand painted the logo of the Old Gods of Appalachia podcast onto a mug once and that was really cool. I plan to do a bleached hoodie with their logo/design at some point too
#go listen to old gods of Appalachia please I beg you#it’s a horror narrative podcast set in the old appalchains#(1800-1900s)#very nicely unsettling but not too spooky#anyways#thanks for the ask!#Loki#avengers#old gods of appalachia#fandom#ao3 shenanigans ask
19 notes
·
View notes
Text
The Hawthorne brothers after seeing Avengers Endgame (at Xander's bequest):
instagram
#nash westbrook hawthorne#nash hawthorne#xander blackwood hawthorne#xander hawthorne#jameson winchester hawthorne#jameson hawthorne#grayson davenport hawthorne#grayson hawthorne#hawthorne brothers#hawthorne horses#to horse or to not horse#avengers endgame#marvel cinematic universe#marvel#mcu#hawthorne shenanigans#hawthorne headcanons#the inheritance games animal headcanons#animal headcanons#the inheritance games memes#tig memes#the inheritance games#tig
24 notes
·
View notes
Text
"Feet off the table, Romanoff. We eat here."
"Barton, get down from the catwalk. I'm not putting on the suit to get you your beer."
"Bruce, Brucieboo. Sleep on your own bed. I don't want Hulk snoring in the R&D lab. He scares off the interns."
"Thor! No coffee before dinner."
"Parker, get off the ceiling and do your homework."
"Yes, Vision, this does taste like raw dirt mixed with Tabasco sauce. And no, Wanda, I will not answer how I know this."
"Davidson! Don't set fires just so Dum-E can have fun."
"Barnes, stop encouraging Keener."
"Wilson, get your man a leash. Or an entire bdsm set. I don't care. Just stop him from hanging around my kids. They're all bad influence on each other."
"Honeybear, how many times? The suit isn't ready for space travel yet. You could just drop a message for Danvers!"
"Pepper, yes. I did, I did-would you just let me speak? Okay, no. She's supersonic. Friday, put her on hold. My ears can't take this."
"No, Steve. For the last time: I did not leave my sweater in your room last night. And thank you for asking this in front of everyone. Now they know we're sleeping with each other."
"Oh, you all knew already? Well, good for you."
aka Tony being the team mom.
YES my heart's still stuck in that phase
#avengers#shenanigans#the avengers#tony stark#stevetony#sambucky#mcu#steve rogers#natasha romanoff#bruce banner#bucky barnes#sam wilson#wanda#vision#peter parker#irondad#harley keener#rhodey#pepper
306 notes
·
View notes
Text
I'm calling it now; Peter Parker is secretly a skin care guru. Don't be so surprised, I mean, how else do you think this boy shows up with flawless skin every time he's fighting someone? Even in the hardest battles against the worst villains, he's glowing from a mile away that it even shines through his mask that it distracts the enemy and literally burns their eyes.
#peter parker#spider man#mcu headcanons#marvel shenanigans#marvel#marvel cinematic universe#mcu#spider man homecoming#spider man far from home#spider man no way home#captain america civil war#avengers infinity war#avengers endgame
7 notes
·
View notes
Last Seen Blogs
spilledte
I am taking you out to a milk bar tomorrow!
ladyymiisa
MISA
acidbubblegun
Immortal Until Proven Otherwise
badlysummedupmoviestournament
submissions closed
sallysavestheday
sallysavestheday