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theirbbygirl · 3 years

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Second Lead Syndrome

Word Count: ~8.7k words

liked this? there’s more on my masterlist!

Genre: Angst, Fluff, Comedy, Female reader insert

Description: Y/n and Minho have been friends for more than 2 years now, but suddenly she begins to see herself as the mere second lead in Minho’s story. Will she be the rare second lead who gets her own happy ending?

Warnings: some crying, themes of unrequited love (if there’s anything that I missed don’t hesitated to let me know!)

I’d only ever encountered Second Lead Syndrome in the dramas I’d watched. Wanting the girl to end up with the second lead who was so obviously the better and healthier choice, but like every avid watcher of kdramas, it's more than likely for the main leads to end up with each other, that was just how it worked. What I never thought I’d encounter was seeing it happen before my own eyes and experience it firsthand.

Life was never supposed to be a kdrama. Life was supposed to be simple, a straight line, going from point A to B with no complications. But life never really went my way did it? It just had to throw in one variable, one man that had too much influence on my life.

I couldn’t remember the first time I met Minho. It was probably sometime in the first grade when his family first moved in next to mine. But alas, we were both too young to remember exactly what sparked our friendship. One day we were strangers and the next we had given our parents a near heart attack when we both went after a stray cat on the way back home (my mom’s words, not ours). From then my memories were filled with him, just us besties hanging out like anyone would with their best friend. First party, first mental breakdown, first drink, all with him. Soon enough we were in our final year of University, and ultimately, adults.

The Minho I knew was laid back, not too extroverted but not too introverted either. While I completely contrasted him, always anxious about something, wanting perfection to the T, and completely and utterly introverted. Our friendship, moving into University, sparked a lot of questions. You wouldn’t typically find the introverted straight-A student with the borderline badboy tsundere walking and laughing in the halls together, spending practically every waking moment together. But Minho didn’t care, and neither did I, so we moved through life pretty easily.

One of the few things we had in common was our love for cats, and when we both foudn out there was a cat cafe just a few minutes walk from our campus, you best bet we spent too much of our time and money there. Studying, hanging out, anything you could imagine. If we weren’t in one of our dorms, we were more than likely to be in the cat cafe.

Every day after class we’d go there and we’d complain about our least favorite professors and how lectures would seemingly last for longer than they should. Additionally, Minho had almost become akin to my own dormmate with how much time he spent in my dorm. He’d come in whenever he wished, stealing my frozen pizzas and sodas, using my Netflix account on my TV to watch weird National Geographic shows and make random comments like “that snake looks just like Kim Seungmin,” or “look its Hannie” whenever a squirrel came on screen. Minho was always there when I needed a drinking partner after bombing a test or assignment, pouring me shots of soju until I passed out and bringing me to my bed and tucking me in whiel he would sleep on the couch to make sure I wouldn’t do anything stupid in the middle of the night.

Although, more people knew Minho’s name than mine, but that didn’t bother any of us. We continued on being friends as usual, and it felt like nothing would change that. Life was moving in a straight line like it should’ve always been.

At least, that’s what it felt like until February, just a few months before we graduated.

I make my way to our usual spot in the courtyard after buying an iced coffee and a snickers bar from the vending machine next to my classroom, I walk up behind Minho sitting on a bench when I find him staring out in front of him instead of looking at cat videos on his phone like he usually does. Slowing my walk, I trail my eyes to the vague direction he’s facing and see that he’s looking at Kim Seungmin and a girl chatting outside the classroom. I ignore the thought, opting to think that Minho must’ve spaced out thinking about how he would irritate Seungmin next class. I plop down next to him when he still doesn’t take note of my arrival, so I get right next to his ear and blow cold air into it, snickering when he jolts in surprise.

“What was that for?” He whines, fake annoyed.

“You got lost up in your thoughts for a certain Kim Seungmin there.” I snicker some more, opening my snickers (hehe) bar.

Just as I’m about to take the first bite of the sugary goodness, the chocolate bar gets snatched out of my hands and a certain Lee Minho takes an obnoxious bite out of it, not even giving it back but eating it like it was his. I pout, watching him devour my snack, knowing that I couldn’t do anything to get it back.

“For your information, I was not thinking about Kim Seungmin.” He says pointedly, slightly muffled by the chocolate in his mouth.

I sigh, knowing I wasn’t going to get that chocolate bar back any time soon, and open my iced coffee. “So what were you thinking about then?” I ask before taking a sip.

“Don’t know, spaced out.” Is all the answer I get and I highly doubt him, but I brush it off anyways and don’t pry.

Minho and I slide into our usual conversation about assignments, plans for the week, and everything under the sun. We talk about how he’s planning to visit home the next day and stay for a weekend and how excited he is to see his cats after a long time, I unknowingly smile at his ramble about how talkative Dori is, and just sit back and listen. I never took into account how healing it was to just watch and listen to him talk, the sultry of his voice and his little exclamations of frustration or excitement that came once in a while. I had to catch myself from staring when he turned to look at me, having asked me a question I didn’t catch.

“Sorry what was that?” I ask.

“Am I that beautiful for you to have lost your hearing to my handsome face?” I couldn’t just tell him that that was basically what had happened, it would inflate his ego by too much and reveal everything I’d hidden thus far.

“The heck? No, I was thinking about how great it would be to get some peace and quiet while you’re not around this weekend.” I lie, having Minho around is the only thing that brings me entertainment that isn’t endless sappy kdramas on my laptop, but he can never know that.

Minho scoffs, says something under his breath that I don’t quite catch, then turns back to me. “You love me.” He says with a pout.

“Unfortunately I do.”

That was the first of many inconspicuous confessions.

It was nearing 3 or 4 am and I was about halfway done with another kdrama when several knocks resound through the small living space. Knowing exactly who it is, I only shout back “you know the code!” and moments later the door opens.

I don’t bother to get up and greet Minho, this exact scene has happened too many times for either of us to care at this point, and it doesn’t surprise me that the moment he enters he shouts, “Honey I’m home!” like we’re in some cheesy romcom.

“Mhmm, welcome home, leech.” I enunciate the last word purposely, but I know he won’t bat an eye at the term. I continue to chew my popcorn while he wanders through my cabinets, looking for snacks. “There’s chips in the cabinet next to the fridge and sprite in there too. If you want more food order Chinese takeout.”

“I don’t have my wallet.” I can practically hear his pout from where I sat, eyes unmoving from the TV screen.

“You know where mine is, but you have to pay me back.” A few seconds pass with no response until suddenly he’s next to me and kissing my cheek.

“I loveeee you!” He says too sweetly, retreating back to the mini-kitchen to order takeout.

“Mhmm, I love you too.” I say, not loud enough for him to hear the confidence missing from my tone.

Continuing to watch the episode of in front of me, I remain in my comfortable position, only moving to lift my legs when Minho comes back to sit on the couch under my legs and the blanket.

“Oh you’re watching this one?” He asks, reaching into the bowl of popcorn I offer him.

“Yeah, didn’t have anything else to watch so I put it on since everyone seems to like it so much.”

“Mm,” he hums while also indulging himself into the scenes playing in front of him. “You’re probably team potato guy, right?”

“What kind of question is that? Of course I am!” I scoff.

“I don’t know, I still think she should end up with Jae-eon.”

“Are you crazy? He literally leads her on like every playboy and is ruining her mentality by not defining their relationship.”

“Yeah, but they’re so cute together, and you can totally tell he feels something for her.” He argues.

“Just cause they’re cute together doesn’t mean they’re good for each other, the entire guy is a walking red flag, I don’t understand why she doesn’t just walk away when she’s had experience with a shit boyfriend.” I sigh.

“You, have major second lead syndrome.” He points an accusing finger at me.

“So what? It’s for good reason, the main lead is toxic as fuck and you can’t change my mind.” I upturn my nose, turning back to the TV and continuing to watch the episode.

The mentioning of the second lead sends a flurry of thoughts into my brain for a reason I can’t comprehend. Sometimes the main leads aren’t that bad but still we want the main character to end up with the second lead, maybe out of our own natural selfishness because we prefer the second lead more. I shake the thoughts away, trying to convince myself that kdramas were only works of fiction and too cheesy to be real, yet for whatever reason I always felt a connection with the second leads, like our emotions directed to our crushes were the same, because I knew that I would always be the second lead in Minho’s story.

Minho’s name was always called out more times than mine was growing up, which I didn’t really mind until our hangout time would be seriously cut down because he had to hang out with other friends. Don’t get me wrong, I loved that he had friends, but there was a little bit of selfishness in me that wanted him to myself.

A new drama and a few episodes later, plus Chinese takeout, lead to our eventual demise. We both fall asleep on the couch in less than comfortable positions and wake up with stiff-neck, us groaning at the pain.

We continue on with our usual morning routines, taking turns freshening up in the bathroom before heading out for breakfast at Paws and Pastries since we were both too lazy to make food ourselves. Besides, hot coffee in the morning plus good sandwiches AND cats? What more could you ask for?

When we enter the cat cafe I notice a familiar face behind the cashier, it was the same girl Seungmin was talking to on Friday, and the same girl I caught Minho staring at. We walk up to the cashier, I order my food first, a simple breakfast sandwich with a coffee to go with it and wait next to Minho to finish ordering.

I made the mistake up glancing up at his face as he was telling his order to her, Ahra, her name tag read. There was something in his eyes that glinted that I had never seen before, not when he talked to Han and not when he talked to me. I couldn’t help but feel a pang of emotion in the middle of my chest before forcing myself to look back down, inserting my card and paying for everything. I sent the girl a thank you and a kind smile after she told us our food would be right over, and both me and Minho went over to our usual table in the back corner next to the cat’s jungle gym and right up next to the window. I get lost in my thoughts while we begin playing with the cats we were so accustomed to.

Like most second leads, I knew exactly what my feelings were. I was practically an adult, how could I miss the fast beating of my heart or my clammy hands whenever I was around him? But again, like most second leads, I knew I’d never get a chance with him, not when everything we did together was purely platonic. It was painfully obvious that I’d be stuck with an unrequited love for who knows how long, and I couldn’t just detach myself from him all of a sudden to get over my feelings because a) he’d notice and force me to tell him what was wrong, ultimately leading me to tell him that I had feelings for him, and b) the moment I would come back or see him for even just a second I know I would develop those feelings all over again. Neither of which were choices I was willing to take so I suck it up and see him every day, ignoring everything my heart was telling me.

I look up from the cat that I’m petting in my lap and look at Minho again, only to find him staring at Ahra who was taking people’s orders with a perfect pearly smile. It was in that moment that I knew, I had just found the female lead of Minho’s story.

3 weeks go by in a similar manner. Minho and I see Ahra around campus a few times and with some twisted fate, she’s on the clock every time we go to Paws and Pastries. Minho, being his smooth self, easily gets himself acquainted with her. They laugh and giggle so naturally and can slip into conversation so easily I’m almost envious of Minho and his non-introverted self.

Not being one to try and stop fate, I watch it all happen. Telling Minho to ask her out already and teasing him about how lovesick he gets when he sees her nearby or at the cafe. I know Minho likes her when he blushes or gets defensive whenever I mention her in our conversations even though he’s never explicitly told me himself. I put on a face in front of him whenever these conversations come up, not wanting to get in the way of his happiness.

One day some of our friends want to meet up outside of campus, we make plans to meet up at a bowling alley, ready to have fun until the late evening hours. Seungmin brought Ahra along with him, asking if it was okay to invite her since they were friends. Everyone agrees and we all meet up as planned. When everyone gets there, including Seungmin and Ahra, we introduce ourselves, Minho not having to introduce himself and easily speaking with her like they always did whenever running into each other. All the the boys have raised brows and mischievous smiles as they watch the interaction between the two, but only one looks at me in concern.

A majority of the night passes by with laughter and teasing, how Chan was terrible at bowling this night and Minho easily beating him despite never doing too well on our previous adventures to the bowling alley. I spend the night with the rest of the boys, while Minho and Ahra spend time getting to know each other even more. There’s a point in the evening where I see Minho hold out his phone to Ahra to exchange numbers, I can hear her giggle when they take a selfie together, probably for her profile picture. I have to turn my head away quickly to ignore the cracking of my own heart when Minho puts his arm on the couch behind Ahra, he does it so naturally, yet he’s never done it with me. I will my thoughts to focus on the game and not on Minho, not noticing the same pair of concerned eyes until they speak up.

“Are you alright?” Hyunjin asks.

“Hm? Of course I am, why wouldn’t I be?” My voice cracks halfway through and I try to hide my sad eyes, even though I was fully aware that Hyunjin had probably noticed that something was up.

“‘Cause you seem pretty affected by that scene over there.” He motions to Minho and Ahra with a nod of his head.

“It’s nothing, Hyun, just nice seeing Minho talking to more people.”

“Y/n, you know he talks to people all the time, and you’re not nearly as affected then as you are now.”

“Hyunjin, really, it’s fine.” I try to convince him but he says something that lets me know that he knows.

“You like Minho.”

“What? No that’s absurd I-“ He looks at me pointedly, and I sigh in defeat. “Yeah, okay, you got me.”

“Why don’t you say anything? Clearly it hurts you to see him like that.” He refers to Minho getting cozy with her.

“Hyunjin, it’s clear that everything we have is platonic, he even called me his sister several times. And who am I to get in the way of him getting into a relationship? That’s not my place to say anything, especially when his last girlfriend was 2 years ago.”

“I get that, but shouldn’t he at least deserve to know? He says that he knows everything about you, but there’s one thing that he doesn't. You know practically everything about him, isn’t it a little unfair?”

“We have choices as to what we share with each other and what we don’t, it’s his choice to tell me what he wants to and my choice to tell him what I want to tell him. Besides, he hasn’t even told me that he has a crush on Ahra yet.”

“So maybe he doesn’t then.”

“Hyunjin, just look at him, he’s a puppy in love.” I glance back over to Minho and Ahra sitting parallel to us. Minho is smiling brightly, more brightly than I had seen in a while and I can’t help but let my lips upturn at the corners just slightly in another sad smile.

Hyunjin sighs next to me, and I look back to him. “I’m sorry y/n, I really wish he would end up with you instead of her, it doesn’t seem fair to you.”

“Hey, don’t say that, Ahra seems like a nice girl, she and Minho will get along great. And nothing in life is fair Hyunjin, that’s just something you come to accept.” I say, getting up. “I’m gonna get some drinks, does anyone want anything?” I ask everyone.

“Cola!” “Me too!” “Me three!” “A lemonade please.” A few of the boys shout back.

“Anything for you guys?” I turn to Minho and Ahra. They both shake their heads. “Okay then, I’ll be back in a minute guys.” I smile at the group before going to get the drinks.

While walking away from the group I let a teardrop fall from my eye, wiping it away just before I order.

Life’s unfair, that’s just something I have to accept.

A week goes by and Minho’s talking about how he and Ahra message often, how he thinks they get along well and he’s gonna ask her out.

Another week goes by and they’ve gone on their first date, he takes her to the beach and they have a picnic.

Two weeks after that they’ve gone on several dates and are officially boyfriend and girlfriend, I don’t even find out separately at this point, I find out with the rest of the group over dinner.

A few days after that Minho calls off one of our late night binge watching sessions, texting me an apology and that Ahra needs him. I tell him it’s okay and to send my regards to her.

It’s a week and half after and Minho regularly calls off our meetups at the cafe after school or at one another’s dorms to tend to Ahra. I tell him it’s fine each time and to not feel bad. He did the same today, and I sit alone at our usual table, mindlessly petting a cat in my lap while zoning out into in my mug of coffee.

All while this happens, I watch, and I let it happen. I don’t fight for him because it didn’t feel right, sometimes second leads let their love fall for someone else, and that’s all it felt like I could do.

Fighting for Minho felt selfish, especially when I knew I had no chance and he’d already fallen for Ahra. I couldn’t suddenly come out of the blue and tell him “hey, I have feelings for you,” when he’s already dating Ahra, I’d look like a major asshole if I did. All I could do was watch and see how we begun to drift farther and farther apart.

With Minho being absent more often, I don’t get to tell him much. Like the internship offer I got to continue pursuing graphic design in Itaewon. I got the email almost a week ago, and I had two more weeks to decide if I was going to take the offer. With nobody to consult about it with I continue to push it to the back of my mind, not wanting to deal with more stress just yet.

Just as I’m taking another sip of my coffee a familiar head of long blonde hair enters the cafe. My head tilts to the side in confusion as he scans the room for someone when he meets eyes with me, he makes his way over and sits in the seat in front of me and doesn’t say anything.

“You’re rarely on this side of town, why are you here?” I ask Hyunjin first.

“I heard something from Ms. Kim in our art class and needed to know if it was true.” He says seriously.

“What…” I feel like I know what he’s going to say, but I ask anyways. “What did you hear?”

“That you were offered an internship in Itaewon.”

“Hyunjin I-“

“Is it really true? She said you had two more weeks to decide, how come you haven’t told anybody? Does Minho know? Are you gonna leave? What about-” He begins to spurt out question after question and it’s almost too much for me to handle.

“Hyunjin!” I raise my voice just slightly to get him to stop but I have to turn it down again when the volume of my voice makes a few of the other customers’ heads turn. “Calm down, yes it’s true, yes I have two more weeks to decide if I’m going or not, I didn’t know how I would tell any of you, no, Minho doesn’t know and I don’t plan on telling him.”

“Are you… Are you gonna take the offer?” He asks slowly.

I prop my elbows onto the table as the cat leaves my lap and my head drops into my hands as I sigh in exasperation. “I don’t know.” Tears are gathering in my eyes as I think about it.

“Y/n, have you thought about the offer at all?”

“Yes and no.” I don’t need to lift my head to sense Hyunjin’s confusion. “It’s hard to think about it when you’re watching your crush of 2 years date someone else while you’re also trying to finish up your senior year. But it’s also all I can think about when I’m alone, which I find myself a lot, thinking about having to find a place to live in Itaewon and transfer and mentally prepare to leave you all here, but if I don’t take it then it’ll be even harder to find an offer like this. It’s all I can think about and also something that I can’t bring myself to think about, Hyunjin.” I lift my head and my teary eyes meet his own.

“Y/n…” His voice breaks saying my name.

“I think I’m going to take it.” I pause. “Once I finish all of my final assignments the only thing I have left to really worry about is graduating and finding a job, and I don’t think I can take watching Minho and Ahra anymore Hyun, I don’t think I can stomach it. I’m happy for them, I truly am, but it’s also affecting me and I don’t think I should ignore that anymore. If I’m in Itaewon I have a job and I won’t have to worry about feelings anymore, two birds with one stone.”

I see the hesitancy in Hyunjin’s facial expressions before he speaks. “If that’s what you think you should do, then I’ll support you all the way. But shouldn’t you tell Minho about this?”

“I’m not, because if I do, Minho is gonna find some way to get me to stay and I’ll crumble and stay because he affects me the most.” Hyunjin merely nods in response. “Hyunjin, you are the only one that can know about this, okay? I can’t have everyone else know this, especially Minho, okay?”

Hesitation again, and then, “Okay.”

Hyunjin keeps his promise, he keeps the secret of me leaving from everyone. Even as graduation inches closer and our group begins to talk more about job searching, what comes next, and similar topics, the two of us keep it a secret. Whenever they asked me what I was thinking of doing next I always just told them “oh probably looking for internships nearby,” and no more questions are asked.

Minho and Ahra were still very much in love, even more than before, if the growing absence of Minho’s presence was anything to go by. I barely saw Minho anymore, maybe catching him at the end of the hall every once in awhile, but he was always walking with Ahra so all I could say was “hello” and “goodbye.”

Each goodbye begun to hold more and more weight as the days passed. Even the short ones I would tell Minho after passing him in the halls. I couldn’t even conjure how I would tell everyone, maybe send a letter to each of their places? A text message? Tell them after the graduation ceremony just before I left for the train station? I thought about how I would say goodbye as I begun to pack up my dorm. Graduation was nearing, I had already turned in all of my final assignments, and all there was left was to pack. I would leave after the ceremony ended, sometime in the afternoon. I wouldn’t even get the chance to properly celebrate being graduates with my friends because I was leaving in the afternoon. I’d get situated in my new apartment in Itaewon and get accustomed to new life outside of Gimpo.

The thought of leaving panged my heart harshly, I had never left Gimpo permanently before. Sure, I had gone on trips to the US and Singapore and Seoul before, but I had never moved from Gimpo. I was born and raised in Gimpo, met Minho and all of our friends here, so the thought of moving for the first time did something to my heart. I attended all of our group hangouts with a nostalgic mindset, remembering the first time we all met, when we all got wasted one time on a Friday night after some big exam week. I look around our table of friends and think about how much I’ll miss all of this when I leave for Itaewon.

Another thing that panged my heart, Minho and I distancing. I knew it was coming, Minho and I didn’t text or talk about hanging out anymore. He walked Ahra to her classes now, and had dates with her after class instead of meeting me at our cafe. Eventually I stopped getting apology messages, and stopped expecting him at the cafe anymore. I couldn’t blame him, Ahra was his girlfriend and I accepted that long ago. Instead I just played the supportive friend on the sidelines, and I’d continue to play that role for as long as I had to.

It came to be the night before we graduated, and all of us minus Minho and Ahra were sat around a table in one of the restaurants we frequented, it wasn’t too late in the evening, and we all just sat in silence after finishing our food with bottles and glasses of soju now sitting in front of us. A majority of our meal was full of reminiscing, talking about memories that crack everyone up and left smiles on our faces.

“So, we really graduate tomorrow, huh?” Changbin says when the table quiets down.

“Yeah, I guess we do.” Chan says quietly.

My eyes tear up and I begin to sniff without control, the weight of my department tomorrow weighing heavily on my shoulders. Hyunjin puts an arm around my shoulders and gives me a tissue, whispering “it’s okay, it’s okay” to me while I try to calm down.

Everyone looks at me in confusion before Chan speaks first. “Y/n are you okay?”

“Yeah, yeah, I just…” I trail off, not sure what to say.

“Do you want to tell them?” Hyunjin asks softly.

“Tell us what?” Seungmin says this time.

Hyunjin looks to me first before nodding, and I begin to spill my secret. “I got an internship offer.”

The table erupts in cheers and I get congratulations thrown back at me before I can even continue.

“But…” Immediately everyone silences and looks to me in expectation. “It’s in Itaewon.”

There’s a tense air that falls around us. “What?” Felix says in disbelief.

“You’re not leaving us, right Noona?” Jeongin asks from another part of the table.

I look to Jeongin with sad eyes, smiling sadly. “I leave tomorrow, after our graduation ceremony.” There’s some gasps around the table.

“What?! Y/n, why didn’t you tell us sooner?” Changbin blows up and Chan has to place a hand on his shoulder to restrain him.

“I didn’t want every time we met leading up to graduation to feel like a goodbye, Bin, I couldn’t handle that. So I kept it from you all so there wasn’t this tension every time we met.” I explained.

“Does Minho know?” Seungmin asks this time, and I shake my head.

“Y/n…” Han says worriedly.

“Guys, I know I’m not the only one that’s noticed that me and Minho aren’t that close anymore, so I haven’t really gotten the chance to tell him. But I told Hyunjin this a long time ago, that I wouldn’t tell Minho specifically, because there’s some things that I need to figure out and if I told him he’d find some way to keep me from going, or even worse, follow me. At least with Ahra by his side he won’t follow me to Itaewon.” There’s nods all around the table, understanding where I’m coming from.

“We’re gonna miss you a lot.” Felix sniffs and I coo, getting up from my seat to wrap my arms around him from behind.

“I’m gonna miss you all too.” I sniff with him, a few tears escaping my eyes.

Chan comes to join our hug, then Han, then Jeongin, and soon enough everyone has joined the group hug with me in the middle. All of us are crying, and I had never felt more loved than that moment.

Eventually we break away from the hug and return to our seats, everyone dabbing at their eyes with tissues and sniffing.

“Let’s all stop crying, tonight is a night to celebrate, all of us graduate tomorrow, and our dear Y/n got an internship offer in a big city!” Han holds up a drink and we all do the same, cheering and clinking our glasses together and celebrating the night away.

The next morning I get ready for graduation early, putting on my makeup and doing my hair, and sending a message.

to: [cat dad who’s a leech :D]

hey, can you meet me at p&p in thirty?

My heart picks up the pace as I send the message, I didn’t expect him to answer so quickly yet his message pings my phone within 2 minutes.

from: [cat dad who’s a leech :D]

sure, i can be there

to: [cat dad who’s a leech :D]

sweet, i’ll see you there

I turn my phone off and take a deep breath, we still had a few hours before we had to be at the school for our graduation ceremony, I’d have to leave just a few minutes after the ceremony ended which wouldn’t give me enough time to tell Minho, so, I made the painful decision the night before to tell him in the morning. I’d do it in our favorite spot in the corner of our favorite cat cafe, tell him the news slowly and hope that he takes it well.

I leave my house and 15 minutes later I’m in our usual booth, my coffee order sitting in front of me and the cats all wandering around as there weren’t too many people since it was relatively early in the morning. I already bought Minho his typical Iced Americano and it sat in front of me, awaiting it’s owner.

10 minutes later Minho arrives and makes his way to the table, sitting in front of me, smiling, unknowing of what’s about to happen.

“Hey.” I smile at him.

“Hey you.” He smiles back brightly. “Sorry I couldn’t see you guys last night, I took Ahra out for dinner last night on a date.”

“It’s completely alright, how are you guys?”

“Pretty good, things are going okay right now.” He answers.

“That’s good.” Nervously I take a sip of my macchiato in front of me, my leg bouncing in anxiety.

“Y/n? Is everything alright? Your leg’s bouncing pretty fast right now.” Curse Minho and the fact that he knows so much about me, he reaches out for my wrist and checks my pulse, quickly noticing how fast it’s beating as his brows furrow in confusion.

“Minho, there’s something I need to tell you.” I say, retracting my wrist from his grip. He doesn’t answer me but instead tilts his head like a cat does when it looks at its owner questionably. “I’m leaving.”

“What?” He asks.

How could one look so endearing, head tilted and eyes full of emotion as I break the news to him? I ask myself. “I got an internship offer for a company in Itaewon, I accepted it and I’m leaving for Itaewon, today.”

“You’re leaving today?” He says in disbelief, sounding out of breath.

I nod and continue. “After the graduation today I have to catch my bus. I didn’t have any other time to tell you so I had to tell you now.”

“You’re… You’re just telling me now? Do the others know about this?”

“I only told them last night.”

“You couldn’t have thought of telling me sooner?” He starts to get angry.

“Minho I-“

“What happened to telling me everything, huh? What happened to when we used to know everything about each other?”

“Minho, those days are long behind us, you have bigger priorities now, like putting your focus on your girlfriend, Minho. I couldn’t tell you because I knew you’d do something rash, and I didn’t even tell the others until last night because I knew every time we’d see each other it would be like preparing for the day I leave. You and Ahra have something so great going on for the two of you right now and telling you that I was leaving would take you away from that, and I can’t do that to you or her. Ahra is an amazing girl, and you have her now.”

“Will you at least visit?” His eyes are full of tears, some of the first I’ve seen in years and I hate that I’m the cause of it.

“I don’t know yet, there’s some things I need to figure out myself first, before I can visit. But at some point maybe I will, when I’ve figured things out I’ll try visiting from time to time.” I offer him a sad smile.

After a few moments of silence I get up from my seat.

“We still have a graduation left, Min, I’ll still see you then.” I ruffle his hair and walk out of the cafe, no more secrets but one weighing down on my chest.

The Graduation ceremony passes by in a blur. One moment we were listening to the speeches of each of the professors and the next we were tossing our caps into the air, cheering as we became alumni of our university.

Our friend group met up in the front of the school, taking pictures with our parents and congratulating each other. Eventually, the time comes and I have to go.

Our group stands in a circle, unmoving, as we all look at each other.

“I’m gonna miss all of you so much.” I say in tears as my voice breaks.

“We’re gonna miss you too, Y/n.” Hyunjin says. At his words everyone gathers into a group hug full of tears and the weight of a goodbye on our shoulders.

“You better promise to visit us, okay?” Felix holds me by the shoulders and makes a point to look me in the eye. Not trusting my voice, I nod and he brings me into one more hug.

I hug each of them individually, saying a few words, before I reach the last person.

I hug Minho and look into his eyes for the last time for a while.

“I’ll miss you.” He whispers.

“Me too.” And that’s all I can say.

I leave the campus for the last time, hopping in my car to head to the station and start anew.

Second leads always leave in the end, they leave and let the two main leads have a happy ending. That’s what it felt like I was doing, and I couldn’t tell if I was content with my choice or not.

Two and a half months in Itaewon passes quickly.

The move into my new apartment was smooth, and it was odd to be in a bigger space than a small dorm room. It felt like I had more space than I knew what to do with.

My internship was moving along smoothly as well, everyone I had met so far were really kind and taught me a lot. I was worried about feeling out of place but I had met a few other girls not much older than me who helped me feel at home.

Being alone in a big city was unnerving, but what made it so much more comfortable was the addition of a cat that my parents had bought me as my graduation gift. She was a chartreux cat who I named Luna because I had always dreamed of naming my first cat that. My parents covered most of the costs of basic things like cat toys, a scratch post, her bed, and similar things. I thanked my parents endlessly when they came over to my apartment a week after I had moved in and gave me Luna. I wasn’t gone for too long during the day and always left food for her, she was great company when I came home and worked on projects late into the evening, curling up into my lap like the cats at the old cafe used to. She was my best friend in a city I was still getting accustomed to.

I hadn’t talked to the guys much, I’d talked with them a few times in the group chat about how their job searches were going and trips they were planning to take soon. It was nice talking with them every so often but all of us were still pretty busy moving onto the next chapter of our lives.

I hadn’t talked to Minho since I left, I’d assumed that he and Ahra were doing well, but that’s all that was, assumption. None of the boys talked about him and I couldn’t understand why, but I never asked since I was supposed to be moving on from my feelings in the first place. I thought I had been doing pretty well until something would come up that reminded me of him, like his favorite song would play in the cafe I bought my morning coffee in and spent my breaks at, or snapchat would send me “Today, 1 year ago” memories of him and me fooling around at Paws and Pastries. Whenever that would happen I’d be sent back to square one, and it felt like I’d never move on from Minho.

I was on my way out to grab a coffee and spend my off day walking around, maybe looking into a few shops when I got a call from Hyunjin.

“Y/n! My favorite girl, how are you?”

“Hyunjin? What’s with the call?”

“What? Can I not call my friends from time to time?”

“Not when you’re notorious for calling your ‘friends’ after you’ve done something wrong.” I sigh.

“That was one time! Besides, it wasn’t that bad.”

“You dragged Jeongin to a party! And got him wasted!”

“One. Time. Y/n. It was one time.”

“One time is enough for you to be in trouble for life, Hyun.”

“Okay, whatever, but I was meaning to ask you, what’re your plans for today?”

“Me? I was just planning to go out, today’s my day off so I was gonna visit this one cafe and see some shops, why?”

“No reason, what time do you think you’ll be home?”

“Maybe five?”

“Great, okay, I have to go now, Han’s calling me, bye!” Hyunjin hangs up before I can ask him what’s with the weird questions.

“Hyunjin- Oh great he hung up.” I put my phone in my pocket before looking down at Luna who’s stretching near my legs. “Your uncle Hyunjin is quite the odd one, isn’t he Luna, hm?” I ask her and she meows back in response. “Weird indeed, but that’s just how he is. Mommy’s gonna spend her day out and then she’ll come home and we can watch the TV together, okay? I’ll be home soon.” I pick up Luna and set her on her little bed before ensuring everything is safe and make my way out the door.

I spend the day eating at a large cat cafe that actually had an assortment of books with little reading areas while the cats roamed around everywhere. It was much bigger than the cafe in Gimpo, but I would always correlate that one with home.

After I spent a bit of time reading there I went out and explored the shops for a few hours, bought some new jeans and a few blouses plus some makeup things. I got Subway for lunch and explored just a little bit more before heading home. Instead of going straight home, I decided to take the long way, going through the streets not minding the extra weight the few shopping bags I was holding in my hands gave me. The sun was just barely beginning to set as I walked into my apartment complex, getting into the elevator and pressing the button for my floor.

I walk down the hallway to my door and am surprised when a familiar figure greets me there.

“Minho?” I say as I walk closer.

“Y/n!” He says happily, bringing me into a hug.

“What are you doing here? Actually- Wait- Don’t answer that, do you wanna come inside?” I ask him.

“Sure.” He responds.

I unlock the door and bring my bags in, setting them by the door. “Luna! Mommy’s home!” I call out automatically.

Luna meows and comes out of the bedroom, walking her way up to me before I pick her up.

“You got a cat?” Minho asks.

“Yeah, parents brought her to me about a week after I moved in.” I put Luna back down and she moves to sit on the arm of the couch, her favorite spot to sit when the sun goes down.

“And you named her Luna,” He smiles fondly. “You always wanted to name your cat Luna.”

“I’m surprised you remember that.” I chuckle. “Do you want some coffee?”

“Sure.”

“I’ll get that brewing, just give me a few minutes, you can take a seat on the couch and make yourself at home!” I tell him as I quickly retreat to the kitchen.

I have to take a few breaths when I’m far away enough from Minho, my heart beating just as fast as it would when I was around him back then. It was clear I hadn’t moved on at all.

I brew the coffee as promised and wait next to the coffee machine with two mugs ready. A voice chimes in behind me.

“Your place is much bigger than the dorms.” He chuckles.

“Tell me about it, it was so weird buying more furniture than I was used to.” I laugh with him.

The machine finishes brewing the coffee and I pour it into the two mugs, putting it on a tray with creamer and sugar before bringing it all to the coffee table in front of the couch.

Minho and I take seats on the couch, separated by a bit of space between us while we sip on our respective mugs.

“So,” I start the conversation. “How’s home?”

“Not too bad, same old same old, the guys being annoying as usual, you know?” He says.

“Sounds fun.” I chuckle. “And work, have you found anything yet?”

“Not yet, I’ve got a few applications out, but I’m still waiting on some answers.”

“I’m sure you’ll get them soon.” I respond.

An uncomfortable silence sets over the both of us, and I run my free hand through Luna’s fur who’s situated herself in my lap this time. I take a long sip of my coffee before asking another question.

“How’s… How are you and Ahra?”

“Oh…” He trails off. “We broke up a few weeks ago.”

“I’m sorry to hear that…” I had no idea that he and Ahra had broken up, in fact that was the completely opposite of what I thought had happened since they seemed to work together so well.

“Yeah, it was a mutual thing. We didn’t really feel that kind of connection anymore, you know? So we just, broke it off.”

“Are you okay?” I ask Minho.

“Me? Yeah, I’m actually not as affected as I thought I’d be, I don’t know if that makes me a cruel person or not but I was only sad for the first week or two. Nothing too bad.”

“I see.” Another silence settles between us. This one is longer, more tense, there was something Minho wanted to ask but he wasn’t sure, and I couldn’t depict what question he was going to ask.

“Actually, I came her for a reason.” He says.

“And what reason is that?” I ask hesitantly.

“For answers.” My brows furrow, answers for what? “There’s something Hyunjin told me recently and it got me thinking, and I wanted to hear it from you if it was true.”

I finish my coffee and place it down delicately on the coffee table, trying not to show how nervous I was with how badly my hands were shaking. “I’ll see if I have answers for you then.”

“When you told me you were leaving, you said you had some, things, to figure out on your own. What was it that you had to figure out?”

I take a moment to decide exactly how I was going to answer his question. Did I want to expose my feelings to him just yet? “Just, feelings.” I say vaguely.

“For?”

“Just feelings for somebody.”

“Is it Hyunjin?”

“No.”

“Chan?”

“Nope.”

“Changbin?”

“Nuh-uh.”

“Me?”

I pause for just a half second, and apparently that was all Minho needed. “I guess Hyunjin’s big mouth was right after all.”

“Wait- What? What are you talking about?”

Minho takes a long sip of his coffee before finishing letting out a sigh after swallowing, he slowly sets the mug on the table before making direct eye contact with me and silently killing me with the suspense. “Minho please just say something you’re killing me here.”

He only chuckles in response. “Hyunjin told me not too long ago that you took up the offer to work here because you were going to sort out your feelings, for me.” He says sweetly as I suck in a breath at his last words.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about Minho-“

“Now now, Y/n, we shouldn’t hide things from each other anymore, should we?” His sweet, sultry voice was affecting me greatly as he leaned closer to me on the couch. I gulp and silently curse when Luna, the only thing keeping me sane, leaves the comfort of my lap for her scratch-post.

“Minho…” I let out quietly.

“Tell me, Kitten, is it true?” He asks once again.

“I-“ My voice catches in my throat when Minho leans in ever nearer, still making direct eye-contact with me. “Yes, it is.” I sigh out and Minho backs away.

“He was right.” Minho whispers while my gaze drops to my hands that I fiddle with in my lap at the secret that’s let out. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I’m sorry.” I whisper.

“Why are you sorry darling?” He asks softly and uses his thumb and forefinger to tilt my head up by my chin.

“I couldn’t tell you because I knew you didn’t feel the same, and then when you got together with Ahra we drifted apart because it hurt me to see you with her. Then I left and told you about me leaving so last minute. I made you cry, Minho, and I hate that I did. But I couldn’t see any other way out of it. I hurt you because I was cowardly and didn’t want to be selfish by telling you and having your attention move off of Ahra, when I was really being selfish by not telling you and hurting you in the end.” More tears escape my eyes as we look at each other.

“Princess, no…” He cups my face with his hands and uses his thumbs to wipe away my tears. “I’ll admit, it did hurt when you told me that you were leaving the day of, but I understood where you were coming from. Because you were right, I would have done something crazy to keep you by my side. Do you know why?” He asks, and I shake my head, still crying. “Because I need you by my side, kitten, even when I was dating Ahra I felt off but just didn’t pay any mind to it because I had her. But now I know it’s because you and I were drifting apart, I found out when after you left and me and Ahra broke up because I felt empty. I couldn’t text you to just come over anymore because you’re farther away from me now. I lied earlier, I said that I sent out some applications for jobs but didn’t get any answers yet, right?” I nod. “I got offered a job as a software engineer, here, in Itaewon, and I said yes.”

“Why?” I whisper.

“Because I want to be near you, I need to be by your side Y/n, because I love you.” I let out a sob at his confession and he coos, bringing me to rest my head on his chest and rubbing his hands on my back and running them through my hair.

“I love you too.” I say after a few minutes.

Minho brings me out of his hold, and cups my face again. For the first time, he kisses me. His lips brush over mine before deepening the kiss, taking full charge of it yet somehow still being soft with me. His kisses were nothing short of addicting, and I knew I’d be in love with him for a long time.

In that moment, kissing the man of my dreams, I remember that it may be rare that a second lead gets their own happy ending, but it’s not unheard of. Sometimes the main lead and second lead do end up with their own happily ever after.

Notes from the author: I have FINALLY posted something y’all 😂 took a few months but she’s here, and she’s dishing out something at least. I don’t know how often I’ll be posting again, esp with school and whatnot, but I do know I need to drain out my drafts because phew, it’s getting a little full in there.

But anyways, I hope you enjoyed this fic! I’m pretty sure it’s one of the longest I’ve written if not the longest. Hopefully it wasn’t too bad, I’m probably a little rusty but we can fix that (i think)

if you want more I still have my old stuff up on my masterlist on my account! hope to see you around :))

-nyx

#skz ff #skz fluff #skz fanfic #skz fanfiction #stray kids fanfiction #minho fluff #skz minho fluff #skz angst #yOU KNOW I KNOW LEE KNOW #skz lee know #lee know #lee know x y/n #tags are annoying sigh #lee minho fanfiction #stray kids scenarios #stray kids fic #stray kids fluff #stray kids angst

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dumbbitchenergy17 · 3 years

Text

Bringer of Chaos

With the reveal of you as the UA traitor, 1-A and the Pro Heroes now have to face the war coming to them. By the Bringer of Chaos.

Words- 6.6K

UA!Traitor x MHA, Tomura Shigaraki x Reader (Sibling Relationship)

Warnings: MAJOR Character death, violence, death, Stockholm syndrome, angst, and lots of sadness

A/N: For the readers quirk it’s chaos magic just like Scarlet Witch as well as hero costume. This isn’t a crossover making the reader Scarlet Witch, just that that quirk works for the story and I couldn’t think of any other villain costume. Anyways hope you all enjoy.

Was it fear that she felt.

All their eyes on her.

Heroes think they were in the right but how many people died by their hands. Why say you're a hero if you can’t save them all right?

You had always had a dangerous quirk when you were younger, both your parents were quirkless but when they had you, you had one. Chaos Magic is what they called it the ability to tap into and utilizes the chaotic forces of the universe, capable of warping, manipulating and/or reconstructing reality and probability as well as the very fabric of existence. They had no clue where it came from and from which side of the family passed it down. Two quirkless parents raising a child with a strong quirk, they had no clue what to do.

You were pulled out of school after your quirk had manifested and you made a stuffed animal bear come to life, scaring the class and teacher and forcing you to transform it back to a regular toy. With such a strong quirk your parents were afraid that you could hurt someone when your quirk grew stronger and you were homeschooled for the safety of you but mostly the safety of others.

Society deemed people without quirks useless and not successful, if you had one you better hope it was powerful and flashy or you wouldn’t be going anywhere with your life. When you were younger you looked up to heroes, they saved the day and kept everyone safe from the bad guys. You remembered sitting on the couch with your parents watching the news and seeing the heroes save the day and you would stand up and turn to your parents saying you would become a hero and save everyone. They would smile and tell you if you worked hard enough you would be the next number one hero. With your childhood you were happy everyone was safe, until they weren’t.

The police and heroes said there was nothing they could have done to save them, it was a break-in. They had shown up and slaughtered your parents leaving you there sitting in between their bleeding bodies alone. That was when you knew heroes couldn’t save everyone, the society they live among is corrupt. Heroes looking after popularity votes and looks instead of actually saving lives. Ironically there were others they had similar ideals as you did. You were passed around from foster home to foster home but, no one wanted to deal with a child whose quirk was too dangerous; they didn’t want a villain-like kid.

You were six when you ran away after another foster family sent you back after you had made the dog they had got as a welcoming gift disappear never to return. You kept running until your legs wouldn’t let you move anymore and that’s when he found you.

A portal had opened in the alleyway you had collapsed in and out came a man followed by a boy. The man wore a some sort of ventilator mask that covered the entire of his face and neck, next to him was a boy who had a disembodied hand covering his face. The man never told you his name just holding his hand telling you that you would be able to get revenge on the heroes. You grew to see him as your new father and the boy who told you his name was Tomura as a brother. He was a few years older than you but the time you spent together was when you were meeting father or him watching you train your quirk. Another person in your life when you joined what was now the League of Villains was Kurogiri, father was rarely around so he watched after you and Tomura, he taught you everything you would need to know.

When you joined UA you main goal was to bring down the hero society following after Tomura’s lead, him always reminding you that you would get your revenge. You played your part well not holding back when in fights against villains during the USJ, Kamino Ward, everything fell into place. With talk about the UA traitor within the teachers no one suspected the girl who seemed to have little hold on her quirk, but how wrong they were. All this led to now your former friends looking at you in fear and horror, when it was revealed you were the traitor.

You were completely surrounded by her former teachers standing around you ready to take you down and you kept your gaze on your class.

“Y/n don’t make this harder than it is, please just surrender.” Mr. Aizawa held his scarf in both hands ready to attack if you made any sudden moves.

“And if I don’t? Can you really stop me?” You glance at your teacher and he faltered slightly in his stance.

“You’re completely surrounded by pro heroes, so we can take you down.” Present Mic said making you smirk they have only seen what you showed at progression with your quirk. UA only knows the most you could do is change the integrity of a few objects, nothing on a large scale. They barely gave you time to react with Mr. Aizawa sends his capture weapon towards you to wrap it around you, activating his quirk making his hair rise up and float. The weapon goes straight to you half of it landing on the ground behind you.

You look at him with a bored expression, finding humor in him and the others' shocked expression. “Did you think it would be that easy?” You knelt grabbing the end of his capture weapon and he tries to use it but it doesn’t affect you. “What would a simple cloth feel like if it weighed more than that.” A red haze covers the cloth leading up to his neck and slams into the ground, the weight of the scarf alone slowly starts to suffocate him. Present Mic and Midnight rush to him trying to pry the scarf off him.

“Mr. Aizawa!” Class 1-A yells seeing their teacher struggle. Dropping the scarf from your end you look around at your teachers who know they can’t stop you and your classmates.

“Don’t think this is over,” You hear an explosion and someone running towards you, “You bastard get back here!” Bakugo yells, holding his hand out sending a huge explosion. The smoke clears and there is Bakugo panting out of breath looking around for you, but you’re nowhere to be found. The red haze surrounding Aizawa’s scarf disappears, sending him shooting upwards, throwing it off him as he coughs and wheezes. The 1-A and the Pros look to where you once stood, if that was just some of your power, they had no clue what was in store for them if you came back.

In an abandoned warehouse the league hears footsteps heading towards the room they were in. Each of them ready to fight and kill the intruder, the footsteps getting louder until it was right in front of the room.

“That’s funny thinking your quirks could stop me.” A familiar voice calls out through the door as they open it. You stand in front of them and they relax welcoming you in. Standing away from them was Tomura Shigaraki, he was scratching his neck frantically but stopped when he heard your voice. You walked closer to the man you saw as a mentor, as a brother. You stood next to him as he looked out the warehouse window showing the vast city that was part of Japan.

“Tomura...it’s time.”

With your reveal as the UA traitor the school was put on lockdown immediately once you left in fear you would return but not alone. Your face was plaster across the news worldwide ranking you as national alert. News articles found everything about you with your parent’s death, your disappearance from the orphanage to your life at UA. They speculated that you could be in correlation to the league which made you more of a threat, if you had connections to All for One or Tomura Shigaraki.

“Funny how one moment you were just a UA student, now you’re public enemy number one.” Spinner smirks, tossing you the latest newspaper that talked about you. You smirked as you made the newspaper disappear before it could hit you and reappear behind Spinner hitting him in the back of the head.

“They say the same crap as always, not my fault heroes don’t know how to do their jobs.” You go back to laying on the couch closing your eyes, blocking out the noise of the villains around you. You hear the door open and footsteps bounding towards you jumping on the couch crushing you under their weight.

“Y/nnnnnn I missed you so much when you were gone. It’s boring being the only girl here with Mange gone and you always at UA.” Toga wraps her arms around you squeezing the living life out of you.

“Toga if you don’t let me go, I swear I will turn you into a bug.” You open one eye glaring at her and she sighs getting off you mumbling under her breath.

“How much longer do we have to keep waiting we’ve been in this stupid warehouse for the past week.” Dabi said, kicking a can away from where he was standing.

“Yeah I wanna fight, no let’s relax.” Twice responses, god they were annoying as hell.

You huff sitting up look at them, “When Tomura says he’s ready we’ll go until then shut up and let me rest.”

“And why should we listen to what you have to say, you’re younger than any of us.” Dabi gets up in your face and you clench your jaw waiting for him to do something.

“You should watch what you say next, we know who could win in this fight.” You stand both of you up in each other's face.

“Yeah what are you gonna do about it, huh” He smirks and he goes to speak again but his breath hitches as he grabs his throat.

“What’s the problem Dabi? Have something to say?” He falls to his knees as he tries to breath but is unable to. “You feel that right your lungs are failing on you, do you know how easy it is to kill you right now.” You squat in front of him grabbing his face, your hand covered in a red haze when you use your quirk.

“You made your point Y/n stop it.” Toga grabs your shoulder.

“No, he seems like he has something to say right, Dabi.” Tears fill his eyes as he is practically blue in the face.

“That’s enough Y/n.” Tomura calls out and you stop using your quirk as him and Mr. Compress enter the room. Dabi sucks in air coughing profusely Twice, Toga, and Spinner goes to his aid as he regulates his breath lightheaded from the rush of new oxygen. “You all act like children.” Tomura says walking past you all going to the window looking out to the city.

“Whatever.” You roll your eyes sitting back on the couch. “The Nomus are ready, my army is ready.” He turns to look at you all. “You all know what you have to do, so get to it.” He says and they all leave, Dabi walking past you glaring at you with you glaring back. Leaving only the two of you left in the room, you stand next to him as you both look at the calm city that will be thrown into chaos.

“Father would be proud of you Tomura.” You place your hand on his shoulder and he nods.

“You know what to do, you are the biggest piece in the puzzle. You know UA in and out, give them hell.” You nod looking at the man you see as family, the calm before the storm.

“I’ll see you on the other side Tomura.”

The van you were in stopped a few blocks away and you climbed out of it looking back at the villains sitting in it. “Don’t fuck it up Y/n.” Dabi says and you smirk. “You just do your job.” The clothes you were wearing transform into your old school uniform. The league drives away leaving you to walk the rest to UA, they would have no clue what hit them.

With your disappearance UA had been hesitant but continued school as normal, with the dorms they had up campus security and included a strict curfew for the safety of the students. Many students were surprised when they heard that you were the traitor while others found it ironic that someone from 1-A the hero course was actually a villain. 1-A atmosphere had definitely change since the reveal, some were easier at coming to peace that who they thought was their friend was actually a traitor while others still couldn’t believe it. The class seemed dull with you gone. You had put on a convincing performance, actually forming friendships with your classmates some seeing you as family which broke them even more. Midoriya lost some sort of sparkle since you had left, he saw you as one of his closest friends and felt like this seemed like his fault why didn’t he see the signs. Your curiosity for everyone’s quirk specifically his, you seemed to have a love for heroes and he had shown you his notebook with list upon list of everyone with their quirks and their strength and weakness. He let her get exactly what she needed that would affect heroes and the students because he saw her as a friend.

Mr. Aizawa went on about the lesson but Izuku drowned out most of his talking his gaze to the window showing the walkway to the front of the school. Every few minutes he could see cars driving past the entrance, but what caught his eye was someone walking down the path that led to the building. From this distance he couldn’t make out a face but they were a student from the uniform, but why were they there? It was already the middle of the school day and they should be in class. As if his questions were answered an alarm went off shocking the students

“Intruder alert! Please evacuate the building. Intruder alert!” The intercoms repeat as the alarm continues.

Everyone is grabbing their bags, “It’s probably just the press like last time.” Kirishima says as they get ready to leave, but Midoriya is still locked onto the figure walking to the building, they had no school bag and didn’t seem like they were in a hurry as they got closer. Whoever was walking looked up towards the building and Midoriya felt ice enter his veins seeing their face.

“Hey Deku come on we have to go.” Uraraka grabs his arm to pull him away from the window but he is frozen in shock and fear. His classmates look at him confused at his unnaturally pale face.

“Deku you idiot we have to leave.” Bakugo yells at him standing at the door where Mr. Aizawa was waiting impatiently as they needed to evacuate as a group.

“She’s here.” Midoriya said, and the class had a pretty good idea who “she” was.

“None of you leave this classroom, you got it.” Mr. Aizawa pushed them back in, closing the door, locking it and rushing to go to the other teachers leaving 1-A locked in the class unable to do anything but watch out the window.

“This is crazy, why is she back?” Kaminari said as they all tried to look out the window to see you.

“Whatever reason the Pros will stop her.” Ida said having faith in the heroes.

“You saw what she did last time she was here she almost killed Mr. Aizawa!” Mineta cried out.

“If it’s a fight that’s coming I’m not gonna sit around and wait for her to get here. Where’s the button to open our lockers” Bakugo yelled, going to Mr. Aizawa's desk looking for the button so they could get their hero costumes.

“That isn’t smart Kacchan we thought she wasn’t that advanced with her quirk but if she is that strong and involved with the league of villains we are ants compared to her.” Midoriya tried to reason with him.

“I think Bakugo is right,” Momo said which shocked most of the class, “We need to be logical with this, she’s back here for a reason, she wouldn't be coming back if she didn’t have a plan or someone specific she’s after. She is not our friend anymore right now she’s the enemy and if we want any chance of surviving this we can’t be on a lower level than her.” With Momo’s speech their thoughts were decided, they would have to prepare to fight if they wanted to come out of this alive.

You knew the Pros would be here any minute after you heard the alarm go off. You stood in front of the fountain waiting for them to arrive, you knew that this fight some people wouldn’t make it out but the heroes need to get the punishment they deserve. The loud screech from Present Mic when using his quirk could bring anyone down caused you to press your hands against your ears. You could endure this if it meant saving up energy for your quirk. You felt the capture weapon surround your body and the screaming stop and you collapsed to the ground.

“Ms. Y/n we weren’t expecting you to show up but it seems that we were still able to take you down.” You knew you couldn’t use your quirk unlike last time when that had been an illusion you just needed to wait.

“Funny Nezu you always think you're one step ahead.” You smirk looking up at the principal, “I know I’m always one step ahead.” You could smell the fire and there it was the blue flames growing from the forest.

“It’s the League of Villains!” Midnight gasped coming out of the forest were hordes of Nomus each with different quirks.

“You're sure you’re one step ahead?” You smirk and they knew you were just a decoy. The teachers outside had no choice but to deal with the Nomus heading towards the school and to where you were.

Leaving just Aizawa and Nezu to deal with you, “You are much smarter than I expected.” You shrugged and Aizawa tightened his weapon making you laugh

“I was told to give them hell.” With that you swept your foot out from under Nezu and Aizawa causing them both to jump back, with the split second it that Aizawa eyes closed you vanished from his binds. “Truly wonderful time seeing you again, but the fight has barely begun.” Aizawa doesn’t have time to fight you as he is attacked by a Nomu.

Nezu studies you and you stare back at him, “I don’t understand why you’ve done this but we will stop you.”

You grin “You heroes say that but we both know how this ends.” You disappeared from the battle leaving the teachers fighting the Nomus and the students inside defenseless against you.

“Where did she go?!” Sero said seeing you disappear from their view. With the doors locked they couldn’t leave so they stood in the classroom in their hero costumes waiting for the fight to come to them.

“We know that she’s with the league for all we know they could be in the building already and with the teachers outside we would open for an attack.” Midoriya said seeing you easily get captured only for you to be a decoy for the league to appear, it was genius.

“Midoriya, always thinking about the correct things, that was something I liked about you.” You said making the class turn from the window to where you were sitting on top of your desk in the back. “Great to see you all again.” You smiled and your classmates grimaced at you.

“You're a bitch you know that.” Bakugo hissed, making you frown.

“That hurts my feeling, Kacchan.” You hopped off your desk walking towards them, none of them moving when you stood in front of your classmates.

“You guys are smart putting on your costumes, cause out there seems like the final battle, but this is the beginning of the war.” You said and conveniently when you finished rumbling when through the building and loud explosions went off.

Out the window the view showed buildings away from UA erupting into flames explosions happening every few blocks. 1-A watched in horror that this is what she meant by war not just UA and the league, the entirety of villains and heroes battling it out; utter chaos. “With that we sadly won’t be needing you all. I say this as your former classmate and friend, stay the hell out of my way I don’t wanna hurt you.” The class doesn’t have time to fight back or anything when it feels like the ground is taking out from under them and they are warped away.

The teachers outside are struggling with Nomus keep showing up, suddenly they all freeze and walk away from the heroes heading to the building stopping in front of it as if they were guarding it. Aizawa wipes away the blood from his face “What the hell is this.” He sighs.

“Mr. Aizawa!” He hears his students yell out to him and sees them running towards him.

“What are you all doing here I told you to stay inside.” He scolds them

Ida steps up from the group, “It was Y/n she appeared in the class and then warped us all away, there were other students as well. I believe everyone in the building is now outside.” Aizawa looked back to the building that was guarded by Nomus.

“We don’t know why they would take the building but remove the students but we need to take headcount to see if everyone is actually outside. With what is happening in the city and here heroes are spread thin. This is exactly what they had planned but why go after UA and how is Y/n involved in all this.” The teachers didn’t deal with any problems with the league or Nomu they all just seemed to stop after the students were outside. Part of the forest that was destroyed by the flames was used as a base for heroes and students, everyone was outside not a single student was missing. Which put out the question of what they were after.

“Not a single student is missing, heroes from outside of Musutafu are coming in, but even then we don’t know how many villains or Nomus they might have.” Midnight told Nezu. Some of the teachers were together discussing their next plan while others were watching the students.

“We can assume that the League is in the building, we need to figure out a plan to fight them but also keep the students safe.” Aizawa said, looking over to where his class was.

“The only two people that have a decent amount of info on the league would be Aizawa and All Might.” Nezu said, “You had Y/n as a student though she never showed us the full potential of her quirk, you know her as a student. Whether her personality she showed to everyone was a lie, lies are built on truth. We need to remember she is still a child she could be manipulated to believe what she’s doing is right.” The teachers nodded, you were just a child that could be forced in the middle of this war, “Does anyone know where All Might we need some more information on the League.” The teachers looked at each other, no one had seen All Might at all. With him becoming quirkless because of Kamino he wasn’t outside when the heroes fought the Nomus. Then it hit the heroes, that’s what they were after.

“You think they figured out you are gone yet? All Might.” You asked, turning away from the window to where All Might sat tied up. “Think the new Symbol of Peace is going to be able to stop this.” You walked over to where he was and sat down in front of him.

“Y/n I don’t know why you’ve done this, but being with the League of Villains will not help you get what you want.” He tries to reason with you.

“What I want you can’t give, the next best thing is getting revenge on those who failed to save them.” You looked at the frail man sitting in front of you. “Do you know what it’s like losing everyone in your life? My parents died because you heroes failed to protect them. You call yourself a hero but you still fail to help those in need. I wanted to become a hero but my quirk was too dangerous for the public. I had no one when they died, no one wanted the girl whose quirk was literally chaos. They found me, took me in and raised me, they were the only ones who actually cared for me.” You said, tears forming in your eyes recalling your horrible childhood.

“They took you in because they saw your quirk. All for One only saw you as a pawn in his game, Shigaraki “raised” you so you would fight alongside him instead of against him.” All Might explained and you stood up, the chair behind you slamming against the floor.

“You’re wrong..they care for me.” You point your finger at him proving to him but he could see that you were doubting yourself.

“They’re using you Y/n what you are doing is leading you down a path that you can’t turn back from.” You turned away from him looking out the window seeing the Pros standing on the pathway, waiting for the fight to begin.

You could see heroes all around Japan here ready to fight, you could also see UA students ready to fight including 1-A. “Those idiots.” You mumbled. “This is the end for heroes All Might, I will get my revenge.” You exit the room walking down the hallway to the main conference room where the League was waiting as well as villains from all over Japan.

Tomura looks at you and you nod telling him you're ready, “Our time for hiding in the shadows is over, the reign of heroes will end today.” The villains cheer rushing out going to fight the heroes. You don’t move as villains pass by you including members of the League leaving as well. You feel a hand on your shoulder making you look up, “Are you alright?” Tomura asks and you nod, the sick feeling still in your stomach from what All Might said to you.

“Tomura...I’m not a pawn in all this.” You knew that you were needed in getting your revenge that’s what father told you, but were you expendable if need be.

“You are the one that is going to change the future, a bringer of chaos, Master will be proud of us both.” Tomura said and you felt the tension in you loosen a bit, “You be safe okay Tomura.” He doesn’t say anything just nodded and left you alone. What you were doing was right, the path you were following was dark but was the right one.

The showdown between villains and heroes as they stood on opposite sides neither moving yet. “We have visuals on Shigaraki and other members of the League, no visual of Y/l/n.” Aizawa heard through the comm links everyone was given, there were four squads made, squad 1 deals with underground villains, squad 2 deals with the Nomus surrounding the building, squad 3 will deal with the League and Y/n if she shows up on the field, and squad 4 will being helping in the rescue of All Might. Most of the top Pros were involved in squad 2 and 3 while lesser heroes dealt with the lesser villains and the All Might rescue.

“How long are they going to keep standing here, either fight or surrender.” Endeavor said looking at the villains standing there waiting.

“Everyone behind us!” The heroes turned and there was Y/n with villains behind her as well as a few Nomus.

“It’s an ambush!” Aizawa yells and the villains on both sides rush to attack the heroes in the middle. The thundering footsteps rush past you as they attack heroes in front of you, with your entrance on the field you disappear appearing back in the room where All Might was in.

From the window you could see Villains and heroes fought for their lives, many getting injured, some fatally wounded. “You see this All Might, heroes and villains together fighting for their lives, where’s the peace now. There is only chaos.” You glanced behind you looking at the former Pro before turning back to watch the fight.

“I’m sorry.” You hear All Might say, “I’m sorry we couldn’t save your parents, you don’t deserve to have all this hate and sadness in your life.”

You froze staring down watching your comrades and allies being hurt and your former friends and mentors dying due to your goals. “I wanted to help people. I wanted to be the kind of hero that saves everyone so no one is alone in their life. You can’t save me All Might you said so yourself I’m too far down this path to be saved.” You turn to him and he sees glimpses of the person you were in school, a curious girl with a strong quirk ready to help anyone in her class. You were just a child but you have had more problems than anyone has dealt with in a lifetime.

“We can help you, just help us stop this, we can get you the life you always wanted.” All Might pulled against the restraints pleading to you.

“We both know how this fight ends, I’m never going to get that happy ending.” You turned around to look back at the fight when you saw the door entering the room was slightly open. “Smart All Might, distract me with some sappy excuse so the heroes could get in and save you. Who’s here, someone who could be invisible, Hagakure or Asui I know you were working on camouflage with your quirk.” You call out a red haze surrounding your hands ready to fight the intruder. You have no time to react when the window you were standing in front of shatters due to an explosion, another being sent to you sending you flying across the room. You hit the wall, denting it slightly, looking up to see Bakugo, Midoriya, Todoroki, as well some heroes and other students from other classes. “You’re all so good, coming to save him it’s pathetic.” You spit out blood that pooled in your mouth.

“Fight then, though a school uniform wouldn’t be the best suited for this.” Bakugo smirks looking at the uniform you were still in. You smirk getting up groaning slightly from how hard you hit the wall.

“Let’s change into something more suitable.” You slowly walk to them your outfit changing as a red haze starts from your feet changing your clothes. You now wore a red chestplate with angular faulds extending into an ankle-length skirt, elbow-length red fingerless gloves, black trousers and thigh-high boots, and an intricate red crown.

“You had to ask.” Todoroki looks over to Bakugo. Bakugo rushes towards you sending an explosion at your face but it fazes right through you.

“Gonna have to try harder then that.” You laugh now on the other side of the room holding All Might in your grasp blasting the people by him away. A blast of ice is sent to you but you dodge out of the way, with the ice distracting you. Midoriya punches you in the gut sending you flying out of the building down to where the fight was. Bakugo jumps out of the building grabbing onto you using his other hand to send an explosion sending you both shooting straight into the ground making a small crater.

Bakugo hears a groan and smirks, “Not that quick are you..” The dust clears out and Bakugo is shocked to see Midoriya underneath him instead of you. “How the hell did she.” He gets up pulling up Midoriya who holds his ribs in pain. “Where the hell did she go.” He looks around at the fighting around him not given much time to think as villains attack him.

You smirk running through the fight trying to find Tomura even if they were able to rescue All Might the heroes had just as many casualties then you did. You see Tomura disintegrate someone's arm pushing them away, but you could see he was getting overwhelmed with many Pros after him. You rush towards him but a wall of orange flames blocks you from reaching him. You turn to see who sent the flames and there was the number one hero Endeavor.

“You killed innocent people.” He says making his way towards you.

“I’m reshaping the future” You get ready to fight and Endeavor sends a blast of fire towards you and you could feel the heat from the blast. Before it could hit you blue flames appear blocking the attack.

“Go we both have our jobs.” You see Dabi standing in front of you, the flames growing in both men’s hands, both him and Endeavor ready to fight. You nodded running off to Tomura, Dabi can handle himself, like he said we each had our own jobs. You see Snipe aiming his gun towards Tomura and you stand in front of him. The bullets float in midair and you send them flying back in different directions. Some hitting heroes, others hitting villains you couldn’t care as long as Tomura was safe.

“They got All Might, what now.” You stand back to back with him using your quirk to break heroes bones, sending people flying across the field.

“Get the league here we leave now.” He answers, pressing his hand on a hero's face instantly disintegrating them. You spread your hands out closing your eyes, getting a picture of each member on the field and warping them to your location.

“That was a weird feeling.” Toga giggles, throwing a knife into someone’s leg.

“Time to go now.” Tomura says.

You hold your hands out and a portal opens up in front of you. Villains that are close to the portal rush to it as they don’t want to be left behind, and the heroes see this and rush to stop you all.

“You guys go, I can handle them.” You sent a wave of energy towards the heroes nearby, sending them back. “See I got thi-”

You heard it before you felt it. In all the noise and chaos happening around you it’s funny how this small noise from far away you heard. Maybe your quirk knew what was going to happen and in some sick way warned you knowing you wouldn’t be fast enough to stop it. Two sharp pains went through your body and you jolted a bit when they hit you. Why did it suddenly feel like everything was in slow motion, why was it hard to breath, god why is everything so quiet.

You look over at the League and you see Toga screaming but being held back by Mr. Compress, Spinner was standing there shocked looking at you, and Twice and Dabi were holding Tomura back as he struggled in their grasp screaming your name. All this was happening but it was quiet. You look down at your costume and you see two bullet holes blood staining it, one in your chest where your heart is the other in your stomach. Time sped up and the noise returned as you fell to your knees coughing out blood.

“Y/N! NO LET ME GO!” You hear Tomura scream, you hold out your hand.

“Go!” You wheeze, grabbing your chest as you cough up more blood. You look at each of them taking in an image of them as Mr. Compress pulls Toga through the portal, Spinner following after him, you see Tomura still struggling trying to get to you. You make eye contact with Dabi and just nod and he gives you a solemn one back using all his and Twice’s strength to pull Tomura through. You look at Tomura and smile, you would see each other some day.

“Tomura you look after me just like a big brother does! That’s what Kurogiri told me when I asked him.” A younger version of you smiles up to Tomura and he looks at you kneeling down to your height.

“I’ll always be with you and protect you.” He placed his hand on your head making sure to keep one finger up. You smile and giggle hugging him tightly burying your face in your chest.

“Thanks Tomura.”

With the last amount of strength left in you, you wave your hand closing the portal once Tomura has completely disappeared. You feel your weight shift unable to keep yourself up on your knees and fall to the ground. You saw green lightning and they caught you before you hit the ground. You see Midoriya’s face above you yelling out to someone but you're focused on the sky and how you could see the colors change as it almost reaches sunset.

“Hey come on stay awake help is on the way just stay awake.” You see his tear filled eyes stare down at you.

“Why..I’m a bad guy.” You wheeze and he laughs, tears filling his eyes.

“No one is ever truly bad.” You smile looking back towards the sky, “Hey come on don’t give up on me.”

You hear footsteps run up and it’s Aizawa and All Might. “Come on Midoriya.” Aizawa goes to pull him away but you grab Izuku’s arm.

“Please don’t leave me.” You whimper, tears filling your eyes. Izuku nods with tears in his eyes falling. “You heroes...always see the good.. in others...it’s nice.” You smile looking up at the sky and a tear slides down your face, and you wince feeling the sharpness in your chest. “I don’t wanna die.” You cry and that breaks the heroes standing in front of you.

“Your not going to help is going to be here any minute.” Aizawa reassures you and nods.

“The sky it’s pretty…tell them I’m sorry.” You cough your breathing getting more shallow and faint and you could swear you saw two figures standing above you. “momma... papa.”

She felt fear at first but it was inner peace as you saw a bright light.

Midoriya looks down ready to comfort you to tell you that help is coming, but stops when he sees you. Your gaze is on the sky, your eyes blank, a small smile on your face finally at peace.

Izuku lets out an anguish cry when he sees your chest not rising anymore. He cries for many reasons, the pain you went through to make you a villain, the hate you must have felt fighting your former friends, and him and all the heroes failing you.

The battlefield was silent as they looked at the young boy holding her body, many heroes felt guilt ebb at them for letting a misguided child die due to this life. Students from UA are lost at words from the loss of a former friend and student, they never expected this to come this far. Students from 1-A cry, seeing their classmate hold the body of their former classmate. Teachers and heroes that knew her look away not wanting to see her body in fear they would fall apart or cry in front of others.

This day would be remembered for years to come as the day the heroes failed at saving one girl that needed the most saving.

324 notes · View notes

bonny-kookoo · 4 years

Text

Bunny Boy (JJK x Reader)☁️⚠️🔪(💜)🔞 Part 2

Pairing: Jeon Jungkook x Reader

Genre: Angst, Yandere!AU, Stalker!AU, questionable romance, smut, Oneshot

Warnings: (oh boy) Stalking, Obsession, Yandere themes, cute Koo but aggressive, he ready to fight, graphic description of violence, blood, very twisted JK, oblivious! Reader, kinda Stockholm-syndrome Reader?, soft romantic lovemaking, body worship, Dom! Jungkook, Sub! Reader, Handjob (fem. receiving), oral (fem. receiving), protected sex because even with your mind scrambled up in a frying pan we still wrap it before tapping it y’all hear me STDs ain’t cute Susan

Summary: It all started with a hello kitty charm.

A/N:(IMPORTANT) I’d like to note here that I do not condone nor romanticize any of the things depicted in this. This is purely fictional, and only to be seen as a work of art, not as a depiction of real life relationships. For short: if he a creep, kick his balls, don’t kiss. Thank you.

Part 1 || Part 2

The nurse opened the door, and past her dashed the young man in Question, a total opposite of what he looked like the night he'd found you. His clothing was disheveled, eyes and nose red, his hair a mess as he immediately fell onto your chest, crying so hard his shoulders shook, nurse watching him with sympathizing eyes. This didn't make sense. Why did you feel your body tense up at his touch, when he was so upset?

You shuddered as the memory of his eyes, as cold as the night you'd drove your car into the tree to keep yourself from endangering anyone else on your way suddenly pushed itself in front of you. You couldn't understand it.

What did that mean? Had it been a dream?

Why would your brain make up something so dark about Jungkook?

"Angel? Are you okay? God no, you're not, you're in a hospital, I-" He said, and the nurse softly pushed him aside a bit to look at your vitals, reassuring him that you were fine, apart from a broken leg and a few bruises and scratches. As she left you both alone, he sat down at your bedside, hands gently patting your head with still teary eyes. "I'm so sorry." He whispered, and your eyes widened.

Could it really be?

"I'm sorry I couldn't get to you faster. If I'd known something like that was about to happen.." He said, gaze falling to your hand, needle still stuck into the vein on the back of it to give you medication. His heart genuinely hurt at the sight, but he knew this was a small price to pay for your eternal safety next to him, right at his side. He would keep you safe, he just needed to show you what could happen. This had been necessary. It was a white lie.

Yet he could sense something was off about you. He'd thought you'd be more upset about the event, yet there you were, simply staring at him. Maybe you'd hit your head- maybe he'd miscalculated something and-

"Jungkookie.." You asked, voice hoarse, yet absolute music to his ear. He leaned in closer, humming a reply to urge you to continue.

"Did you.. pull me out of the car?" You asked, and his eyes widened a bit, smile faltering a few seconds.

How did you know that?

There was no way you had been awake when he'd arrived, and even if so, you'd hit your head quite hard on your steering wheel- you weren't supposed to remember anything. He really did miscalculate. Sure, maybe you meant it differently, but he knew you like his own self. He knew what you meant, and he felt himself tense a bit as he suddenly looked at you completely differently.

"J..Jungkoo-" You started, and Jungkook suddenly shifted, leaning over your body with his hands on either side of your head, his own dipping down a bit, eyes never leaving yours. They suddenly teared up again.

"You don't listen." He said, and you looked at him questioningly. "I told you again and again it's dangerous to drive, yet you-!" He said, voice raising a bit, before he forced himself to calm down, eyes closing as he deflated, forehead resting just below your collarbone. "I needed to- I needed to show you how dangerous it could be, I just want to keep you safe angel, I just need to know you'll never get hurt-" He said, hands gripping the fabric of the hospital gown you wore, desperate to hold onto something.

You simply stared ahead.

It felt weird, knowing that he had everything to do with your situation. It explained how calm he'd been at the scene, how fast he'd arrived, how he knew where you were immediately without asking.

"Miss?" A male voice said, making Jungkook raise from your body, eyes suddenly getting an angry glint at the young officer stepping into the room. It was as if he was a cat having claimed its human, now getting angry at the prospect of someone else wanting your attention. Yet he hesitantly sat down again, keeping his hands on yours however, as a sign of ownership, maybe.

You couldn't tell what it was, anymore.

"We have questions regarding the accident. It won't take long, since you're partner right here has already answered most questions." The young man said, standing a bit closer to you as you nodded. "We just want you to clarify some things. Mr.Jeon over here said you were on the phone, telling him the breaks weren't working. Correct?" You nodded, feeling Jungkooks thumb circle over your fingers softly. "He also said you willingly drove into the woods to stop the car. Correct?" Again, you confirmed. "Why?" He asked, and you cleared your throat before answering.

"I.. didn't want to put anyone else in danger, officer." You replied, and he nodded, taking notes.

"Okay. Jeon Also stated that he'd found you inside your car, and broke open the door to get you out." He stated, and you swallowed as Jungkooks thumb stopped. "Have you any recollection of that?" He asked, and you blinked once, twice.

Shaking your head.

Jungkook visited you every day.

He sometimes smuggled in junk food and other treats you didn't get inside the hospital to lift your mood, and you didn't knew when it happened.

But you started to fall back into place with him.

It was as if nothing major had happened, seeing him happily munch away on his fries while making sure you didn't stain the crisp hospital sheets, making sure not to leave any evidence of the delicious crime he brought into your room every now and then. He was acting completely normal, just like your Jungkook.

Things began to feel normal.

"You know.." He started, as he opened the packaging of the straw belonging to your strawberry shake he'd bought. "I'm glad you understood." He said, and you nodded. Others may didn't, but you had collected so many thoughts and reasons that his actions seemed.. reasonable in your opinion.

He was right after all, you were someone who didn't believe something would hurt you until it did. You always seemed to need actual evidence to believe in bad things, even as a child. Whenever your mother told you not to run, you did it anyways, just to scrape your knee shortly afterwards.

You never ran away from her hand afterwards.

It seemed to be the same with Jungkook now. "I'll drive you wherever you need to go, okay?" He said, giving you your small plastic cup, that you gladly took from him. You nodded, understanding. His heart swelled.

He knew you'd understand.

The diner was busy, too busy in your opinion.

Ever since getting released from the hospital, Jungkook had agreed on leaving you with your own freedom to go wherever you wanted to; if it was too far however, he insisted that he'd drive you.

You agreed on that.

He was just concerned for your well-being.

“What I’m saying is, not to be rude, but he’s kinda creepy.” Your friend said at the table, munching away on her fries. You looked at her like she was the crazy one, feeling a bit offended at her words. You knew she had a point somewhere, but this was your Jungkookie, he was just a bit more touchy and clingy then others- she just didn’t understand. Maybe she was just still bitter about being dumped by her ex; even though you doubted that, since she’d said before that she was over him. He’d been a douchebag anyways, you’d seen that way before she’d done.

“You don’t know him..” you mumbled, sucking on the straw of your strawberry milkshake until the icy cold drink reached your tongue. She scoffed, before she reached for your hand. You went confused at her touch, suddenly feeling as if you needed to take yours away from her. The feeling got so present that you actually did, slowly distancing yourself as you packed up the leftovers of your fast food dinner with her. “I think I should leave..” you said, until she stopped you by grabbing the hem of your coat. “Please don’t do that-“ you attempted to get her fingers off of the fabric out of instinct.

“I’m worried about you y/n, I feel like he’s not good for you-“ she whined, her face drenched in worry. You knew the words she said were true, but they didn’t hurt any less because of that. Why couldn’t she just let you be happy? He made you happy. He made you feel safe, and comfortable, and loved, why couldn’t she just be glad that you had someone who cared about you? “What if he’s just using you, maybe he just wants se- y/n!” She yelled after you, but you’ve already left the restaurant, tears already knocking behind your eyes to be released. You were so confused. You loved Jungkook. He loved you too.

Right?

It had to be that way. He'd been the first one to make you feel genuinely safe, keeping a hold on you that didn't feel suffocating or controlling- his hands were so gentle to you, that you happily let him lead you wherever he wanted. You grabbed your phone out of your pocket, dialing his number. "Jungkookie.. can you pick me up?" You said, and he agreed instantly.

He'd never make you wait.

"Why can we never hang out at your place Jungkookie?" You answered, your upper body laying on his chest, his hand running through your hair like he was petting a cat, loving glint in his eyes wavering a bit.

"It's messy angel, I don't want you between all that junk." He hummed, making you pout. It was cute, yet he feared that once you saw how he typically spending his time away from you, he could scare you away for good. He'd just barely escaped a disaster at the hospital- he couldn't take chances.

"Hm.." You mumbled, leaning your head to the side a bit, hand playing with the silver necklace around his neck. His eyes closed a bit at the view, as his hand ran lower, now caressing your shoulder. He shuddered at the way your fingers brushed over his neck, now growing hyper aware of your position on him. It would be so easy to just.. take you right now. He knew he could overpower you without much effort- but that wasn't what he craved.

He needed you to need him just as much.

"Jungkookie?" You asked, and he hummed a reply. "Why won't you have sex with me?" You asked, making his eyes rip open as wide as the moon.

He had to think for a moment, unknowing how to answer you. Was there a right answer? It wasn't that he didn't want to- he just.. couldn't. Not yet. "I.. don't want you to do something you don't want to, angel." He said lowly, and you suddenly changed position, straddling him with an innocent face. He could feel himself rise in his pants, unable to control it. How could someone blame him? His soulmate was posing on top of him, her center right above his tip, unconsciously putting pressure on his most sensitive parts. How could he not let himself be swept away?

"It's okay, I want to." You said, although nervous. "I.. you know.. Haven't done it before but.." You began to grow shy, spurring his inner demon on even more. "I trust you." You said, and he groaned, holding your hips in his hands to steady you.

He turned you both over, face leaning close to you, lips almost brushing against each other as he spoke. "It may hurt angel." He said, and you simply nodded, accepting that. "You may bleed." He said, and again, you simply nodded, swallowing as you began to chase his lips, growing frustrated with him escaping you by mere inches. "We don't have protection." He said, and this time you deflated. He was right.

Or was he?

You remembered the last birthday party, where your friend had gifted you a lovetoy and condoms as a joke, a present you never used to this day. Your eyes widened. "I do!" You said, and he leaned his head to the side questioningly. "There's uh.. there's a box, right there on top of my dresser. I got it as a present but.. I never had the need to, you know.." You mumbled, and he got up, walking up to the said dresser and taking down the pink still half wrapped box you told him to.

He opened the lid of the box, and after a bit of searching through some crampled up wrapping paper he found what he'd been looking for.

He could work with that.

Simply putting the box down, and pulling his own shirt over his head, he crawled back over you, your gaze ever so shy. "I'll be gentle, angel." He promised before finally kissing you, hungry lips leaving you breathless as he stole away all of your hesitation like a vampire their unknown victims' blood. Yet he was very much human, even if people would probably deny that if they knew what he'd done.

He did it all for you, and he'd do it all again.

His hands roamed, flat palms simply caressing your body as if he was mapping out what you looked like without his eyes, finally able to touch and feel you underneath him, squirming and moving around impatiently like prey trying escape. He was the wolf devouring you like his last meal on earth, tongue opening your lips for him to explore, soft sighs mixing between the sounds of your lips, and the soft moving of fabric as he pulled the sweater you wore over your head, finally getting a view of your body up close and personal; no interference could break his dream apart now, everything very much real and actually happening.

You whined a bit as he brought his hand underneath the shell of your bra, eagerly getting acquainted with the feel of your mounds underneath his hands, as he worked on the hooks on your back, getting rid of the undergarment as fast as he could. He dipped his head down, kissing the velvety skin, biting teasingly as you gasped, making him smile knowingly.

This was more than he'd ever imagined.

His tongue grazed your nipple, making you mewl deliciously as his other hand made work of your shorts, pulling them down together with your already ruined underwear, making him sit back as he finally saw your center exposed for him, his hands pulling your legs apart to watch how the inside of your thighs already glistened with moisture, making him groan out a bit, his own pants suddenly feeling too tight. He quickly got rid of the fabric restricting him, making you try and close your legs at the view of his length standing proudly as he ran his hand over it a few times to release some of the pressure at least. "Keep them nice and open for me, yeah angel?" He mused, voice unrecognizably rough around the edges, making your spine tingle.

His hand cupped your heat, giving you the chance to pick your own pace as he praised you without breaking eye contact. "You look so divine angel, so beautiful.." He hummed, as he felt you rut into his hand so sinfully he couldn't help but snatch a taste as he instead switched his hand for his own mouth, tongue working relentlessly on your nerves while your legs quivered, depending on his hands to keep them in place. The sounds you made were absolute pleasure to his ears and soul, all just for him and him alone.

He would keep it that way.

He felt your walls flutter as his first two fingers entered you, having to push a bit against your thighs to keep you from moving too much at the foreign feeling, yet he couldn't keep himself from smiling as he moved away from you, snatching your first orgasm away from you just inches away from the edge it seemed.

"You're gonna come on my cock and nothing else angel." He growled, opening the foil package to wrap the protection over his length, slowly entering his tip inside you, making your body move away a bit. "shh, we'll go slow yeah?" He promised as he hovered over you like a demon ready to inhale your soul. His kisses painted the side of your neck as he slowly pushed, feeling you tense up at the unfamiliar feeling. "Relax.. it's only gonna hurt if you fight it angel.." He hushed, and your hands reached for his, making his heart swell as he took your smaller ones into his, interlacing your fingers. "Hmhm, that's it angel, let me inside, yeah?" He hummed against your pulse as he'd finally settled inside you, staying there for a moment before carefully backing out. The first few motions hurt and felt weird, yet the more he moved, the more you could feel the infamous pleasure building up.

Gasping a little you chanted his name under your breath, voice so fragile it was barely present as it escaped you, making him pick up his pace a bit, feeling euphoric as the realization hit him head first. This was truly happening, he was finally making you his, he was the first and only one to ever corrupt you and let you drown in sinful pleasures such as this-

You were finally his.

His breathing had calmed down as well as yours, as you came back to earth. His hand paced back and forth over the expanse of your arm, as your thoughts stayed empty for the moment, simply accepting the warmth of his body, before you finally caught onto an actual thought.

"Jungkookie?" You asked sleepily, as he looked at you, wrapped in blankets on his chest. "Why can't I visit your place?" You asked again for the second time that day. He hummed, before he replied.

"There are things you aren't yet ready for angel." He said, for once speaking nothing but the truth. "I fear you'll think of me badly if you knew." He said, and his tongue pressed against the inside of his cheek as he fell deep into thoughts. You shook your head. "Hm?" He asked.

"I love you." You said, and his arms pressed you against him a bit tighter at that. It wasn't the first time you'd said that, but hearing it after being so close together made him feel all fuzzy inside. "I could never hate you, Jungkookie." You mumbled, already falling asleep again. He smiled.

Of course you couldn't.

Because even if you did, it was too late to leave him.

You'd understand.

He knew, because you'd done so in the past as well. This was nothing compared to what he'd done in the past for you, yet it was just as necessary. Looking over the letter you'd received from your parents, his eyes went cold as he took it and placed it into the pocket of his jacket, closing your mailbox, leaving everything else inside. He knew them already, having used past freetime to scout out where they lived, and how they'd treated you during your childhood. The things he'd found out were still making his blood boil.

You were the product of an affair on your mother's side, unwanted, yet born out of pure believe that abortion was against nature. She kept you simply because her husband had forced her to- as a form of punishment for her actions, if you will. She'd treated you just as something alike; a punishment.

Regularly forgetting to pick you up from school or clubs, she was nothing but a complete failure as a mother. Yet you, being the angel you were, still cared deeply for her, enough to accept any half-hearted apology she would throw your way.

It was almost similar to his own upringing, in a way. He had been an unwanted child as well.

Yet his mother had to live through the torture of his own drunk father every day, giving up on protecting him after he'd turned ten years old, leaving him bare to the hands of his intoxicated father, unshielded from the anger or otherwise emotional outbursts of him.

He stopped caring after a while.

Yet when he saw you, so innocent and shy, oblivious to the horrible things going on around you, he felt the need to do a better job his mother had ever done. He needed to protect you from all harm. He couldn't let anything happen to you.

This is why you needed him.

The world around you simply treated you badly because it had the nasty habit of trying to ruin anything that was perfect. And you were absolute perfection, blinding in purity even after his action of deflowering you, sending you to heaven for the blink of a moment just to pull you back down to him again.

Stepping through his door he placed the letter on his kitchen table, adress of them clearly visible.

You'd understand.

You always did.

#bts #bts imagine #bts fic #bts fanfic #bts smut #jungkook #jungkook imagine #bts jungkook #jeon jungkook #bts reactions #bts yandere #bts yandere au #yandere jeon jungkook #yandere jungkook #yandere bts

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inkofamethyst · 2 years

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January 20, 2022

Update: math actually sucks and I’m glad to be done with it. I can say “oh I love problem solving and applying things I’ve learned to new situations” till I’m blue in the face but my true feelings are hiding just beneath the surface and make themselves known as soon as I encounter a problem that is ever so mildly more difficult than anything I’ve done before. [my sister needed help with test corrections and they were hard (I mean I eventually figured it out but only after giving up lol)]

Okay but,,, Lin Manuel Miranda, am I right?

Listen. That guy has such a talent for writing musical lines that go on top of one another and build with each other and are separate but flow into and out of one another’s orbits and it’s just kind of incredible. You can switch between listening to each line individually like changing television stations or you can have them all going at once like you’re listening to four different youtube videos simultaneously but they all line up at certain parts. Like, I remember doing that one song before the Big Fight in West Side Story and thinking that was cool. Two summers later I heard Non-Stop for the first time and haven’t been the same since. We Don’t Talk About Bruno? Incredible. I’m sure In the Heights had an example of this too but I can’t recall specifics.

What’s interesting is that concert band/orchestral(/chamber choir too, apparently) music does this type of thing all the time, but the tricky part is the addition of words. In band, different instruments have different voices, sure, but adding words can make things muddy (I have personal experience with this through singing warmup rounds at choir practices last sem ugh). Miranda’s music is clean.

Anyway I’m gearing up for next semester (yknow, setting up Notion, clearing out Notability, etc), and I have a look at my schedule and come to find out that I’m taking the less favored prof for both biochem 2 and physics 2 which is lovely (I can tell based on who has the most seats left open lol). Frankly, I chose to stick with the same phys prof because even though he can’t teach I a) don’t want any classes before 11a this sem, b) want as many of my classes as possible to be back to back instead of having a gaping 2-hour hole between them, and c) got an A in his class last sem despite being frustrated and fed up the whole time so it probably will be annoying but at least it’ll be annoying in a way that I expect. The only reason I’m taking that biochem 2 prof is because the other one conflicts with my anth class.

Speaking of anth,,,,, I’ve been stressing over the past few weeks bc I couldn’t figure out exactly when the right time would be to send the anth prof an email checkup of like “heyyy I know I’m supposed to TA for you,, are we still cool for that?” because I didn’t wanna be too forward but then it got to the point where I’d waited too long to follow up in my opinion and I was also stressing bc I’ve got the whole imposter syndrome thing climbing up my throat again like bile (you know how it is) and it’s been absolutely paralyzing and the first day of his class is this Tuesday and then today he just goes and sends a casual little email today and is all like “excited to have u as a uta :) also meet ur co-uta she’s been working with me for a bit :)” and honestly that made me feel a little bit calmer. That’s what I’m thankful for today. That my fears were unfounded (and that, so far, everything seems to be turning out alright), as they so often are.

Last thing: It’s a crazy thing to be involved on campus. Over the past few days I’ve received emails from almost all of my major orgs about kickoff meetings and jazz and it’s kinda wild. That said, seeing the email from the orchestra reminded me that there was one primary goal which I did not complete at all: practicing the concert music. Not once. I completed the waistcoat and walking skirt (which I took out for their first spin today actually and it was fabulous (if I get some American Duchesses the skirt length will be perfect)), started on another top instead of the mauve one bc I need to figure out sleeve length stuff (might be able to finish it before I go back), finished my mom’s dress, started Ni No Kuni and Shadow of the Colossus pieces, and started working on my summer plans. So while I didn’t complete everything, I did do quite a bit, and I’m proud of what I was able to accomplish.

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woodland--fae · 3 years

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If I were SJM writing ACOWAR I would have dramatically changed the outcome of Rhys’ resurrection.

Ok. Time for another ACOTAR rant because I just can’t help myself.

One of my biggest complaints about this series is how the main characters are never faced with threats that actually threaten their power. While they may battle insurmountable odds, the reader comes to expect that they will achieve their goals unscathed and with dramatic flair. Rhys, Feyre, and the rest of the IC are blessed with immense power, even better looks, and an author who thinks they are perfect in every way.

The characters are so perfect that they can die and be resurrected with virtually zero consequences. SJM has made them invulnerable.

Don’t get me wrong. I hate when beloved characters die in a series, but it is equally frustrating when characters “die” and are then resurrected within minutes at seemingly no cost. Dramatically, this takes away from the emotion of the moment and cheapens the initial sacrifice by making it seemingly moot.

What am I referring to? Rhysand’s death (or lack thereof) in ACOWAR.

If I were SJM writing ACOWAR I would have dramatically changed the outcome of Rhys’ resurrection. The price of his sacrifice for Feyre should come at the cost of his High Lord powers. We know, according to the lore that SJM herself has written, that when a High Lord dies his power automatically transfers onto another. We also know that in ACOWAR Rhys is dead. I know Feyre talks about an essence of him holding on through their bond, but for all intents and purposes he is dead. If the other High Lords don’t offer up part of their life-force, Rhys remains dead. It’s as simple as that. Therefore, during those moments before his resurrection it makes sense that the High Lord powers of the Night Court would transfer onto a new High Lord.

I get so excited thinking about this twist for multiple reasons.

I love the idea of Rhys’ love for Feyre and his people manifesting in his self-sacrifice. We know that Rhys is devoted to his people and to Feyre. He has also made sacrifices for his court in the past. This ultimate sacrifice reinforces this characterization. Furthermore, the loss of his High Lord powers is compelling because it proves that Rhys was willing to give up his immense power for the ones he loves. Since Rhys willingly sacrificed himself in ACOWAR, we can make the assumption that he knew his power would end up transferring to someone else upon his death. In contrast to other fae who put power before everything else, Rhys would stand out as willing to give up everything for love. This makes Rhys more likeable and less of an arrogant asshole who gets what he wants when he wants because he is all powerful. I for one am not impressed by how he is seemingly the most powerful High Lord in Prythian for…reasons. It’s cheesy, and makes the main characters literally invulnerable. It makes the story boring and frustrating and gives the characters no room for personal growth. Why grow when you already have everything? I think it would be more interesting for readers to see how he and Feyre adjust to life without his High Lord Powers. Who is Rhys without his godlike powers anyway? Which leads to my second point.

If the High Lord Powers of the Night Court are transferred… who do they go to? Definitely not to a member of the Inner Circle or any other ally. We’re here for compelling plot, not giving characters advantages just because we like them! No. My suggestion is that the High Lord powers shift to…. Keir!!! You might be asking yourself, why Keir? He is such an asshole and would be a terrible High Lord. To which I reply, exactly! To set up the conflict in the next series of books we have ACOWAR end on a bittersweet note. On the one hand, the King of Hybern is dead, and all the major characters survived! On the other hand, Rhys’ power has transferred to one of his enemies. Not only are Rhys and co. now vulnerable, Velaris is also at risk from their new High Lord. This bittersweet ending achieves a good payoff for the survival of all the main characters. Stylistically it makes for better writing and a more realistic end to the series instead of “and we lived happily ever after as the most powerful High Lord and Lady in existence.” The sequel series would see Rhys and co. struggle to regain/retain control over Velaris and their people. The plot with the human queens is all good and fine… except that SJM literally never lets us leave the Night Court. 3/4 of the action in books 3 onward takes place in the Night Court. Therefore, it would be a nice change for the conflict to actually take place there and not with some Human Queens that have hardly any page time. This conflict with the new High Lord of the Night Court also offers some interesting new opportunities for character development. Rhys, for the first time in his existence would feel like a stranger in his own court and body. Technically, under Amarantha he was unable to access the majority of his High Lord powers but in that case it was different because he was still High Lord and had access to some of that power however diminished. In this circumstance, he has been stripped of all High Lord powers. He wouldn’t have all the answers, he literally is not in control. This allows him to empathize with Nesta and Elain. Feyre’s sisters also feel like strangers in their new bodies. They were violated and forced to become Fae; they unwillingly gave up their humanity in a way that parallels Rhys unwittingly giving up his power to Keir. In this alternate series Rhys comes to respect and understand both Nesta and Elain for who they are, not who he wants them to be. They have similar journeys of self discovery as each has to learn how to live again. Speaking of Nesta…. oh baby let’s talk about Nesta. Who took immense power from the cauldron? You guessed it, our girl Nesta. Who retains this power even when Rhys is powerless? Ding ding ding, right again! Nesta. In this alternate series women do not have to give up, or diminish their power while their male counterparts get to enjoy it (re: Amren returning with zero powers while Rhys retains all of his at the end of ACOWAR). How great would it be for Rhys and Feyre to need Nesta to help them stand against Keir? How great would it be for Nesta to have a character arc where the main characters actually respect her autonomy, personhood, traumas, and power??!! Reading ACOSF made me equal parts upset, angry, and bewildered. Here are a few reasons why: strong female characters don’t allow others to walk all over them, refusing to fund Nesta’s lifestyle and controlling every aspect of her life are two different things, and Nesta is not the only character who needs to apologize. I’m going to say it again, Nesta is not the only character who needs to apologize. That’s all I’ll say on this subject as ACOSF is another rant for another day. I think these changes in plot also benefit Feyre’s character as well. I see a huge difference between the character I loved in ACTOAR & ACOMAF and the rest of the series. It’s unrealistic that someone with very little leadership experience can fall so easily into the role of powerful High Lady and I feel like her character lost a lot of relatability as the series progressed. The Feyre of ACOTAR would not act like the Feyre of ACOSF.

When the courts were first introduced to us it always bothered me that there were four seasonal courts but only three solar courts… where is the dusk court? I think that my alternate sequel series would culminate in the birth of the Dusk Court. It bothers me that the Night Court is so divided. Rhys literally hates the Court of Nightmares and at best merely tolerate them. It’s hard to reconcile that both Velaris and the Court of Nightmares are the part of the same Court. On other days I would argue that Nightmares are dreams too and Rhys has no business condemning literally half of his court in favour of Velaris. But today I’m going to give it to him. In this alternate sequel series, Velaris is different for a reason. It isn’t meant to be part of the Night Court. Velaris seems likes a different court, and so it shall be: behold! Velaris, capital of the Dusk Court! Who leads them? The newly minted High Lord and Lady of the Dusk Court: Rhys and Feyre. It may seem counterintuitive to give Rhys High Lord powers back when I’ve established why it is so important for him to lose them, but in my alternate series he will have had to fight, make sacrifices, and develop empathy for other people in ways that make him worthy of being High Lord. It also works as a narrative device for him to receive what he lost after proving himself (by working alongside Feyre, her sisters, and the rest of the IC as equals). I also think it is fitting that Rhys and Feyre could create a new court together.

I hope you have enjoyed my rantings. I’m going to end this here since it’s already obscenely long. I would love to hear your thoughts! I believe firmly that Rhys should never have resurrected with his High Lord powers. The consequences of this could have been so compelling for future books. And it upsets me to see such wasted potential for character growth. This rant is mostly an exercise for myself to rewrite the worst parts of these books in ways that let me love these characters again. No-one should be victim to Mary/Gary Stu-Syndrome. not even Riceball.

#omg I need to write this fic #i hate that the characters refuse to see their own flaws but condemn literally so many other people for similar behaviour #let's take away riceball's power #anti sjm #anti acosf #anti ACOTAR #acowar spoilers #ACOTAR spoilers #high lord #night court #prythian #fae #ACOTAR #anti rhysand

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nightswithkookmin · 3 years

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How do you think JK and JM have grown and changed this year? I was worried about the more professional Jikook recently, but the way they are now seems healthier- like there is balance and more peace in their bond. They are compromising and addressing each other’s needs (JM demonstrating his love for JK and flirting less; JK holding back for the sake of the group and JM's sanity). They seem happy. Plus, it’s nice to see the group members helping them be professional- especially Tae.

Absolutely! They are making compromises...

I was meant to work on a 'Jikook in 2020 Review' blog post at the end of the year but I got my nails done and I couldn't type shit with it. Lol. Should have stuck with my usual average length basic bitch nails but no, I had to go and be a baddie- edgy people. Sigh.

It's something I do in my Journal at the end of every year since 2014 where I summarize everything that's gone down with Jikook and my other ships in that year to help me keep track of their love journey and especially the timelines- yea, I take my delulu business seriously. I'm not ashamed. Lol.

I think the most outstanding and conspicuous growth development in Jikook's dynamics, to me, is their individual functioning and positive adaptive response to the changes that happened in and around their relationship in 2020- from Covid 19 to the monitored VLives and the whole professional outlook, cough cough.

While not surprising to me, because they had been on that trajectory since the later half of 2019 and had exhibited early signs of being capable of adjusting well, almost adjusting well lol, to any internal changes that could occur in their relationship dynamics, I sort of worried about them being thrown in at the deep end in the face of the abrupt and disruptive changes 2020 presented because of Covid 19.

Jikook since 2015 to me, have always exhibited codependent tendencies as well as a certain level of dysfunctionality in their dynamics with one or both of them enabling certain toxicities in the other.

I think that is the major thing that changed in 2020 in my opinion and I don't know if their personal growth journey contributed to it or the virus did, or that it's just we didn't get to see them interact in the usual settings that brings out all the lunacy in them. Lol.

Jimin for example had a habit of enabling JK's possessiveness and childish grunts and would reassure him whenever JK threw tantrums over anyone smiling funny at him. I mean reassuring your partner of your love and interest in him is good and ideal but not when your partner lowkey is unreasonable in his demands sometimes, chilee JK- what goes on. Lol.

Especially not when that same partner has no qualms doing shit like this:

But with JM I feel it goes deeper than that. I think I have mentioned in passing a few times now how I feel/felt JM was the noncommittal one in their dynamic and part of the reason I had that view was because Jimin to me had always conveyed an impression of JK that he is/was a bit childish and immature and that I think had always hindered him from fully investing in their dynamic in a way that makes JK secure.

But that too has changed especially towards the end of 2020.

I mean JM is very wise beyond his age, mature beyond his age as everyone around him keep saying. Contrastingly, they say the very opposite of Kook and they treat him as such, which is gotta be worrying for JM, I feel.

I've always been fascinated by JM's choice of words and descriptors for people- well not just JM's, all the members' quite frankly. Lol. He sees, for instance, Tae as innocent and naive, Joonie as thoughtful and JK as not good at expressing himself and his emotions.

These words are not just his assessment of their personalities, they are also testament to how he treats them or is likely to treat them- We treat people the way we see and perceive them.

If he sees JK as incapable of expressing his true intentions, he stands the risk of projecting his own intentions onto him and this is very dangerous. He could be reading more into situations, misunderstanding and misconstruing JK's intentions.

For example, he may he interpreting JK feeling uncomfortable with him being around others as a sign JK wants him for himself and as such use that to reassure himself whenever he is feeling vulnerable and insecure in their dynamic but in reality JK could just be expressing discomfort with watching two men interact intimately- JM would never know unless JK explicitly conveyed to him that seeing him with others worry him because he wants Jimin too. Know what I mean?

Similarly, if he perceives JK as immature and childish, no matter how accurate that may be, he risks developing an inclination to be dismissive of JK's needs- especially if JK really sucks at articulating his needs or asserting himself in their dynamics.

Seeing JM interact with others in a certain way may genuinely be his limits, but how is he gonna communicate that to Jimin beyound grunts and pouts if he sucks at expressing himself and if JM dismisses these grunts and tantrums he throws as childishness?

That's what I mean when I say there is a certain degree of dysfunctionality to Jikook's dynamics. But that too have changed or is changing- can't be sure till I see how they progress and interact in the future.

As I kept saying, Jikook had been asserting themselves against eachother in 2020 and JK was the embodiment of that.

But JK...

He has always given me the impression he's willing to do whatever it takes to prove himself as not only worthy of JM's love but also solidify himself as JM's equal in their dynamics, having been subjected to years of baby syndrome being the youngest within the group and having everyone treat him as such.

And so I have mixed feelings about this seemly 'progress' in him...

Not sure if he is doing it for himself or for his relationship and God I hope it is for himself because as much as I enjoy the crazy aspect of their relationship, I hate it too.

I mean it's entertaining to watch sometimes but Jimlous and Jeonlous do make me sick in my stomachs- yea, I have four at this point. Fucking Christmas chicken. Lol.

Not to say JM isn't as invested in or committed to JK as JK is to him. Just saying there's always been something holding him back in their dynamics for whatever reason, in my opinion, and Jk it seems have always had the impression he can 'win' if he tries. So he is constantly pushing the boundaries and testing the limits- and that I feel is his yoke.

I used to look at him and felt sorry for him because he was young and he was being pushed to grow so fast but I also understand Jimin because he is much older than his boyfriend and he wouldn't want to be unequally yoked to him, as the saying goes- especially if he equally has to relinquish control to him and have him lead him as his lover and partner.

I feel a lot of Jokers get confused about who is dom and all that jazz, partly because JM is not ceding to JK the way JK relinquishes control to JM in their dynamics and is holding back a lot- that's what I mean when I say he is not fully into their relationship.

Jimin holds a lot of power in their dynamics and a lot of people see that and describe him as top, dom, power bottom and whole other sobriquets but I don't think any of those descriptors is apt.

Because as much as he holds a lot of power in their dynamics, he is in the same breath powerless and at the mercy of JK as JK is to him. The one with the power to me is the one that can walk away and It's neither JK nor Jimin.

As assertive as JK has been all year, he will cave if it meant JM was to walk away. And as demanding as JM has been of JK's maturity, he will settle if it meant JK was to walk away.

Jimin to me is a paradox. He pushes JK to be 'mature' and be on the same page as him yet he equally enables the bad behavior in JK too- well he used to. He's changed since late 2019 and hasn't been tolerant of JK's possessive behavior- which I think I've talked about a lot on here.

It certainly doesn't help that JM has this view of 'JK is just bad at expressing his emotions.' With that kind of mentality, he is more likely to let JK get away with a lot of things without pushing him to be better and that in itself is a form of enabling.

As the youngest within the group, he already stand the risk of being enabled within the group dynamics as his bad behavior is always going to be excused and dismissed as stemming from his age.

You often hear RM and the members talk about how he is the youngest, he is going through a teenage rebellious phase, let's give him a pass because he is the youngest, he doesn't speak much so we value the least he says, he doesn't return his texts, doesn't wish anyone a happy birthday on their birthday's but we will for him anyway, chilee. There is too much enabling going on in there.

As harmless as these rhetorics may be, they impact his attraction quotient and may make him less appealing to anyone within the group who may find him attractive in a sexual way psychologically speaking and sometimes I see that impacting Jimin. People want to date up not down.

Take when Hobi talked about JK peeping tom for example, Jimin didn't seem at all happy about it. I don't think he was jealous in that moment necessarily, more like he was disappointed and hurt.

JK has been doomed from the start as the baby of the group- I mean I've seen the men JM finds attractive... I don't think a 'baby' is what he wants.

Jk have always been on a mission to shed these descriptors off of him and assert himself within the group, for himself and for his relationship- as he should.

But 2020 has been the height of his self assertive journey and progress in my opinion. In Break the silence, the members talked about how JK has become more self aware particularly this year, and JK himself has spoken about and acknowledged his immaturity in the past and how he is working to improve himself on that.

He has grown a lot this year.

You may not see the impact of this because it's an intangible change but you look at how he interacts with the others, the boundaries he's putting in place etc

JM post October have been treating JK with a certain level of respect and dignity, almost as if he is seeing JK as a new man- his equal. This will make sense in the future, don't worry.

During the Christmas holiday performance, it seemed the directors had whispered something in JM's ear to give them a moment- listen, BigHit ain't slick ok? Whenever you see them isolate Jikook from the group bet your sweet behind they are looking for a moment from Jikook and are going over BTS's head, chilee. They ain't slick.

They did the same thing in the dynamite MV when they put Jikook away from the group and had them turn it on- I mean RM wasn't too happy about it it seemed and when he asked Jimin about it, Jimin said the director had asked him to.

I bet you two fake dollars, they intentionally put Jikook away from the group in that performance and honestly I don't think they gave JK a heads up about it either. You could see Jimin literally scanning JK's body to prepare himself and put himself in the mood which had JK looking at him all confused like what is this man doing. Lmho.

Then he playfully taps JK's chest like it's the firt time he is paired with his man and JK looks at him like uhmmmm. Jimin then goes to wrap his hands around JK's shoulder and JK exec crashed. lol.

I don't think JK expected that from Jimin and his gay panic was real- personally, I think he popped a boner down there and when Jimin tilted the camera angle down to that region dude made a 360 turning his back to the camera. Lol.

He was literally hiding it behind Jin and when you look at NamJin's cam that's when you see what I mean.

Chilee, JK how are you gone hide a boner a man gave you behind another mind- make it make sense. Lmho. Are they both not men? You are 24, if Jimin still has this effect on you I'm sorry there's no hope for you. The gay is deep my guy, bid your family farewell and move to Itaewon. Lol.

All jokes and delulu aside, there was a certain level of respect even in the way that Jimin carried out their fanservice in that moment.

Maybe we are finally going to see Park Jimin relinquish that power he's been holding back from Kook as the hyung and mature one and allow JK lead him, make decisions for him and trust that he would make the right ones.

I don't think, going forward JM would be 'dismissing' JK's discomfort with him doing certain things as JK being 'childish' anymore, lol. I'm talking about the 'babe it's nothing' laughing his butt off when JK is pissed at him for doing certain things etc.

It's also interesting to note that 2020, in my opinion, recorded the most 'breakup songs' shared and recommended by JK on his spotify playlist- I wonder why. Smirk.

By break up songs i mean most if not all the songs he shared last year had a theme of separation, breakup, etc, with one particular song standing out to me: Mean it by Lauv.

This song and the others are pretty much consistent with his own song lyrics of 2020, Still with you and Stay which I believe are a two voiced piece of the same art work or subject matter, a response poem if you will: one being a confession of JK's feelings and intentions while the other, Stay, is the reconciliation, a request and plea to his love interest and declaration of his needs or what he wants from Jimin.

Stay answers Still with you. In my opinion.

And on the subject of Still with you, am I the only one who thinks 'With You' is one of Jimin's handles and JK using that in a song is no coincidence?

I mean Tae literally gave Jimin that name in Run 106- Listen, I don't trust JK and if he appropriates it again ISTG!

He's come a long way from, 'I'm not gonna say any cliche as that have courage' in Magic Shop to practically groveling. Lol. Love will do that to you.

What stands out about Mean it, is that whole 'don't play with my feelings if you don't want me' theme. I think this is something I kept saying was a vibe I was getting from JK throughout 2020 when I said I talked about their breakup and said I felt he was since that incident putting his foot down, demanding his needs and putting his happiness right back up there with Jimin's.

I smiled when I heard him talk about him thinking a lot about what happiness means to him throughout 2020 and pursuing that.

As for the professionalism, let's see if they are going to maintain it throughout this year because it is not coming from them but from the environment they are in.

I think what they have to do is know when they are going to be themselves and when they have to be professional- Jikook y'all are queer, reading the room should be an acquired skill dumbass! Someone send them the memo. Lmho.

One other thing that has changed about Jikook would be how they are gradually disconnecting from their fanbase especially JK.

Now this may be due to a lot of reasons: BigHit limiting their access to their fanbase, BTS having a problem with Jikook's brand clashing with theirs and demanding they 'act professionally,' Jikook no longer having a need of the support of their fanbase and a plethora of reasons I cannot get into sake of time and space.

One thing that I am gauging this year is how Jikook will be interacting with their fanbase and how much of their relationship they will willingly share with us.

They need our support as much as we need them and if our support matters to them in advancing their relationship out of the closet then they will find a way to reconnect with us- always.

I mean, he said stay- I'm staying. Lol.

I guess what I'm saying is, for now, the change in Jikook is intangible and individualized but serves as a foundation to whatever direction they decide to move in next.

I am curious to know how these individuals growth and development is going to play out in their dynamics as a unit.

I want to see what they do on May 13th this year, who posts the first Jikook selca of 2021. JK didn't post for the members's birthday again and so I'm curious to see how JM's birthday is gonna go.

The members had surprise parties except Jimin- I'm still salty about that, they filmed Vlives on their birthdays- again except Jimin who had to belate that shit.

I'm taking notes of how they are gonna use the VApp this year especially JK. He still wasn't allowed to solo VLive on the app- I'm taking notes. Lol. Bone collector LLC. Lmho.

2020 was that year, the year Jikook went to couples counseling figuratively- in my books me. Lol.

They went from spending time apart, pursuing other hobbies, JK took to reading, Jimin took to spending quality time with friends and family and realized what is gold to him.

They each have come to terms with their shortcomings- something some of us recieved a lot of backlash over for talking openly about. Chilee.

Jimin have acknowledged he over expresses himself and needs to "love less' and JK have acknowledged his immaturity and is taking steps to work on it.

They both have taken a step from social media, which honestly I don't think is a bad thing especially if SM impacts their overall well being negatively.

I actually won't be surprised if they've been seeing a psychologist but anywho-

I hope this answers your question? Lol. I don't know. This post is more for me than y'all, I feel. So sorry about that.

Happy New Year to 'Y'all who love me.' I love y'all too so much. Bless y'all.

Let's keep supporting Jikook. Jikook is real.

Signed,

GOLDY

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knifefather · 3 years

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KnifeFather’s Kinktober 2020, 18+ NSFW ➼ Day 13: Breeding or squirting ➼ Pairing: Kars/Reader ➼ Word count: 2.2k ➼ Reader is AFAB and female pronouns are used. ➼ Also available on Ao3. ➼ Warning: This chapter contains dark themes such as kidnapping, Stockholm syndrome, major character death, and abuse. Proceed with caution.

Kars, as the strongest of the remaining Pillarmen, makes a decision for the future of his race. You are made into one and only queen.

*Author’s note: This fic takes place a month or so after the events of episode 20 of Battle Tendency. Caesar was killed by Wamuu, and Kars kidnapped you. He killed the rest of the protagonists, secured the Red Stone of Aja, and took over the world. He keeps you locked away as his prisoner, but also his lover. They remain in Switzerland because why not.

You looked out the wide, luxurious window at the gentle snow falling over the Swiss mountains. The plush room you sat in was oppressively lonely. Your captor-turned-lover was away, and you were left by yourself. Even with that considered, you were still acutely aware of the presence of the stone mask vampires that resided on the floors below yours. When you heard their hissing from behind your closed door, it sent a shiver down your spine and bad memories flashing through your mind. You had thought to read one of the many books that lined the shelves of the room to distract yourself. However, after thinking it over, you realized that you had read most of them all already. A few months ago, you were taken from Lisa Lisa’s group during the team’s assault on the first dilapidated mansion the Pillarmen had resided in. After discovering that Caesar was dead, you made a grave mistake. The actions you took were foolish--you tucked yourself into a far-off corner, hiding in the shadows, sobbing over the death of your friend when you were taken. It felt like the wind had been knocked out of you. You felt an iron grip across your midriff, and suddenly you were being stolen away deeper into the mansion, only one shrill cry escaping you before you were fully engulfed in darkness. The last thing you heard was JoJo screaming your name. You never forgot the way his voice sounded as he watched you disappear.

When you came to, you were laying on the cold, hard floor of the manor. You noticed that an attempt had been made to warm you. The quilt you laid on was soft, and you were wrapped up tightly in the fabric. Your bleary eyes opened slowly only to fall on another set of eyes, watching you intently. Red eyes. You jumped and quickly made to scramble away, a whimper of fear leaving you. You were a Hamon user like your friends, but not nearly as strong as the rest of them. If you tried to resist the Pillarman, then it was certain that you would be a goner. A second gaze fell on you as well, but the silhouette of the second person as much farther away from you. “You’re awake.” The silky voice spoke condescendingly, the being it belonged to having no need for sleep. The being stepped closer to you into the dim light, revealing the form of a large man. Kars.

He explained his reasoning for capturing you and that he had intended to keep you even despite planning to murder your friends. You tried to fight him at first, swiping your fingernails across his face, charged with Hamon, but he deflected you easily, breaking your wrist in the most agonizing way possible. It took quite some time to heal, and it was never the same again. You knew from then on not to challenge him further.

Your relationship with your captor turned sexual quickly. Many nights after the deaths of your friends were spent with him cradling you to his gargantuan chest, his cock inside you, carving out his place in your womb. He never came inside--he always pulled out of you in favor of painting your body with his spunk instead. It always left you needy and wanting more. He taught you many things about the female form and how good he could truly make you feel.

He taught you other things, as well. When he took you, your Hamon was weak. You were a poor excuse for a warrior. He trained you, educated you more on the science of the practice, and in a short time, you were strong enough to have taken on Joseph, Caesar, and Lisa Lisa all at once and won. Their absence made you train harder. What would have happened if you were skilled enough the first time always lingered in the back of your mind. Kars beat you mercilessly during training. Even with how much he held back, you were still no match for him, and it took much fortitude to even stand up to a fraction of his power. There were many nights where he was the one nursing you after he had been the one to bloody you. It fucked with you emotionally in ways that you had never thought possible before. You questioned the superhuman's intentions, even now.

Back in the present, you made your way over to the bookshelf anyway. You trailed your fingertips over the various titles that Kars and Wamuu had collected for you. The selection ranged from encyclopedias to fictional novels to cooking books. Curious, you grabbed one of the F volumes of the encyclopedias. You wandered over to the chair in the corner of the room and opened it to a random page. You scanned the book, recognizing many concepts that you were already educated on. A particular phrase caught your eye--"Freedom and free will". You swallowed thickly and read over the entry, tears forming in the corners of your eyes as you stared down at the page. Your thoughts were interrupted when you heard the door close against its frame. Your head whipped up to see Kars standing there, in all his glory, large and imposing. Quickly closing the book, you tried to ignore the feeling of dread that pooled in your stomach. You hoped that you didn't look guilty as you shoved the book away from you.

“Kars,” you said lamely, rising to your feet. “I’ve missed you… Where have you been?” you ask, drawing close to him. He accepted you into his arms, and you cuddled into his chest on instinct. “What’s important is not where I’ve been, but where I am now,” he said smoothly, holding you close. Even with such an intimate gesture, a flicker of fear lived in you. You were quiet and nodded in response before he pulled back from you. He held you away from him at an arm’s length, looking over you. Under his gaze, you felt as if he were undressing you in his mind, and it made you shiver. “My pet… We’re going to do something very important this day. Lay on the bed,” he instructed, his red eyes flashing inhumanly. You swallowed and made to obey his wish, laying on the lush sheets. He stripped himself of the simple collared shirt he wore, and you felt the apex of your thighs begin to grow damp already. He always had a certain air to him when he prepared to mate with you, and it made you shiver with anticipation. “Yes, my lord? What would that be?” you dared to question, watching him now move to his trousers. “As you know, Wamuu and I are the last of our kind,” he said simply, taking his time removing his belt and trousers. “Even with the company of you and the vampires, we’ve grown quite lonely. As the strongest of the remaining Pillarmen, I’ve made a decision.” His slacks fell to the ground and you were met with an eyeful of his impressive member. It didn’t surprise you that the superhuman went commando, but you still weren’t expecting the erect cock that hung in front of you. You stayed silent, eyeing him and waiting for him to continue. He moved towards you silently, his movements perfect and unfaltering. He settled himself in front of you and you opened your thighs for him absentmindedly. “We’re going to make more?” you asked softly, your question more of a statement than anything. Kars’s long, sentient hair began to curl around the both of you, lengthening and writhing on the mattress. “Correct, my pet. I’ve made arrangements for us to bed as long as we please with no interruptions,” he whispered, helping himself to free you from your clothing. You sucked in a breath of anticipation as he stripped you bare. Your body, covered in scars laid bare to him, and he licked his lips and he watched you. The Pillarman cut right to the chase. Already, he directed your body in the way that he wanted it: you were on your back, and he hiked your ankles up to your ears, you holes on display for him. You whimpered under the heated gaze he gave you, embarrassed even though he had already seen you in every position imaginable. “Prepare yourself, little human,” he warned, his words dissolving into a soft moan as he pressed the head of his girthy member inside you. Even though he had taken you before, you never became completely accustomed to the stretch of his manhood. You controlled your breathing as he sheathed himself inside you, the Hamon training working in your favor. Your palms itched with the urge to touch the god, but they flinched away before you could make contact. Kars chuckled at your reaction. “You may touch. This is a special occasion,” he said evenly, holding your legs up to your head. You whimpered and moved to grab his powerful arms, anchoring yourself as he plunged his impossibly huge member in your dripping opening. He was too large to hilt inside you fully, but he filled you as much as he possibly could. You were already on the brink of orgasm, the stretch doing wonders on its own. “Are you ready?” he asked you.

You nodded at him. “Yes, Kars…” you confirmed weakly, your cunt clenching around him. “I’m ready to… to breed,” you whispered. This seemed to set him off. Without further ado, the Pillarman brought his hips down to yours, dragging his cock sensually along your walls, and you cried out from the intensity of the action. He began with a slow, steady pace, watching your pussy lips stretch around his member. His breaths were deliberate, keeping a check on himself even during the throes of pleasure. “Please, Lord Kars, I can take more,” you moaned, your voice sounding more sure than you felt. He gazed at you through his thick, black lashes and laughed, the sound more of a growl.

“Good pet. I’ve trained you well,” he spoke before canting his hips faster into yours. You thrashed against the mattress as the head of his cock assaulted your G spot, and your first orgasm washed over you. You grabbed him for support, and his powerful body didn't falter as you did so. Kars’s endless amusement over how passionately you submit to him showed all over his face. The horns peeking from the mane of purple hair on his head made him look like a perfect devil, but the focused and serene expression on his face made him appear angelic. It was beautifully confusing, but the details were lost to you as his heavy balls slapped against your ass. They pulsed against you, and you knew his climax impending. “You can feel it, can’t you? I’m going to breed you, my dear… Fill you with my seed,” he promised. The ultimate lifeform spread your legs impossibly wide, fucking into your womb with amazing strength. Your head grew empty, leaving you only able to cling to him and thoughtlessly beg for his essence. Kars stilled to a slower pace as he emptied himself inside you, the carnal nature of the god commanding him to dig himself as deep as he could into your pussy. Your mouth dropped open in a soundless scream, moaning and beaming up at him. He recovered from his orgasm quickly and was already beginning a moderate pace once more.

You trembled as he continued pounding away at your core. You could feel the fullness of your tummy as it began to swell with his cum, your breasts jiggling as he snapped his body into yours. If you were full from just one load, you couldn’t imagine how you were going to feel by the time the day was over. In a rare moment of sentimentality, Kars leaned over you to plant a passionate kiss on your lips, his large thighs meeting the backs of yours rhythmically. He swallowed any noises of lust you produced, and your eyes slipped shut as he took you. The sheer amount of power that rolled off of him made you fold in on yourself, and he tsked when he noticed you shrinking away. “Come now, love, don’t be shy,” he encouraged, gazing down at where your bodies connected. “This is a significant moment. You’re going to be my queen, the mother of a race.” The god looked elated to be reminding you of that fact as he ground his hips into yours, the tip of his member pushing lovingly against your cervix.

You squeezed your eyes shut, reveling in the amazing sensations. “M-My lord… Thank you--” Your words of appreciation were cut off as another rush of his semen filled you again, sending your back arching off of the bed. Your head lulled to the side as he marked you, claimed you, and you let yourself be overwhelmed with bliss as you spent the rest of the evening being filled with his tainted love.

#kars #jjba #battle tendency #kinktober #kinktober entry #not sfw #day 13 #my work #backup #minors dni #tw abuse #tw stockholm syndrome #tw death #spoilers for part 2 #spoilers #tw kidnapping

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lokismusings · 3 years

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Russell T Davies on straight actors and gay characters.

I decided to put this here because I post a lot of Hilson stuff. As an actor, this article hit a nerve. However, as a defender of free speech, Davies is allowed to have his opinion without me thinking of him as insensitive. Just like I am allowed to have my own opinion and argument, and ask questions without being labeled “homophobic, intolerant” etc. (that would just make me laugh because have you SEEN my blog? Anyway, I’ve seen a few other websites covering this article. I am also very skeptical of everything I read, including the sources, and I try not to blindly believe everything. That being said, I felt like posting this to get other opinions and ask honest question to help my understanding. If this has already been covered on Tumblr, please feel free to send me the conversations! Some background on me: I graduated with a BA in Theatre and have worked both on and off the stage since I was twelve years old. I have directed plays and an audio play. Given my experience and dedication to my craft, I think my opinion is worth something.

Also, for the sake of this argument, I am leaving trans-actors out because that’s a whole different post. Here is the article:

https://news.sky.com/story/russell-t-davies-straight-actors-should-not-play-gay-characters-12185652

Okay, so first things first, let’s talk about this: “Speaking to the Radio Times, Davies compared a straight actor playing a gay character to black face.” Something that irks me is when one person tries to speak for a whole community and doesn’t reference people from said community who might disagree: whether it’s the LGBTQ+ community, a religious community, medical community, etc. The list goes on. Here, Davies is speaking on behalf of, or speaking for, both the LGBTQ+ community and the black community, is he not? I am genuinely asking because I would like to be more educated on this kind of speech.

Then Davies says, "I'm not being woke about this... but I feel strongly that if I cast someone in a story, I am casting them to act as a lover, or an enemy, or someone on drugs or a criminal or a saint... they are NOT there to 'act gay' because 'acting gay' is a bunch of codes for a performance.” Does that not discredit his whole statement? If any actor does a caricature version of anything and doesn’t take it seriously or really works to get into the role and the mindset of a character, they’re not a good actor. At least, they’re not an actor that I’d want to hire. Second, by the logic that a straight person shouldn’t play a gay character, should someone without a criminal record not be able to play a criminal character? Before you go off and say “it’s about identity and sexuality, and playing a criminal is about the choice to break the law” or other arguments, I hear you. I’m not talking about that. I’m talking about the experience. How can an actor who has never committed a crime play a criminal character authentically? They do their research: reading, interviewing, etc. I’m not saying that an actor with a few minor marks on his record shouldn’t be considered for the same role. I’m saying that in an audition setting, if both of these actors were auditing for the role and the non-criminal-record actor just happened to do a better job and fit what the director and/or writer wanted, is that a mark against the criminal-record-actor? Maybe personally because we don’t know what the director is thinking. But chances are, it’s not a mark against the other actor. The other one just happened to have a better audition. Or, a major factor when considering casting, said actor was easy to work with--I’ve seen a lot of talented actors lose a lot of roles because of their inability to take criticism or notes.

Plus, the whole “Breaking Bad” series?? I highly doubt the main actors were meth-making drug-lords. Or, a better example, “The Wire?” In that show, we see the constant battle and deals between drug-lords and cops.

Another point I’d like to make: “...is a bunch of codes for a performance.” That’s exactly right. The audience doesn’t want to know an actor is “performing.” We know that going in, with what is called “suspension of disbelief.” We know the whole show is a performance, but we also expect the actors to be truthful (unless it’s a comedy/farce, but again, that’s a different argument).

Was it bad that, before 2020, some main characters in TV shows were portrayed as straight but the writers ended up “queer-baiting?” I am referring, of course, to House, M.D. (If you follow this blog, you’ll understand.) But I am also referring to the BBC Sherlock Holmes series. Yes, both pairs of characters (House and Wilson; Holmes and Watson) are assumed to be straight. However, some episodes allude that there could also be something more there. Even the actors have said in various interviews that they aren’t sure if it’s a true romance that the characters are afraid to face, or just a strong bond between best friends that blurs the line between platonic and romantic. I’m paraphrasing, but you get the picture. Therefore, should these characters have only been played by straight actors who are questioning their sexuality or feelings for a best friend? Would it have been disrespectful to gay people if these characters ended up becoming romantically involved? (If we ask the Hilson and Johnlock community, I’m guessing that’s a resounding “NO WAY! IT WOULD BE A DREAM COME TRUE!” xD <3)

“It's about authenticity, the taste of 2020.” *Cinema Sins sigh*

"You wouldn't cast someone able-bodied and put them in a wheelchair...” Again I say, directors and casting directors need to ALWAYS search for someone who is in a wheelchair, or deaf, or HOH, etc. before looking for an able-bodied actor to play a character with that disability (I’m iffy on the whole term “disability because of its negative connotations, but I’m using that word in order to keep this post as long as possible). But I give you the example of Rainman with Dustin Hoffman. Or A Beautiful Mind with Russell Crowe. Or the play and movie Proof, where the father had a mental illness? Anthony Hopkins was diagnosed late in life with Asperger’s Syndrome, but the father in Proof was written to allude more to schizophrenia. And yet, Anthony Hopkins did a tremendous job in that role. Or Even Forrest Gump with Tom Hanks. Many people today love Tom Hanks and laud him as a “woke” celebrity. But if he were to portray the role of Forrest Gump today, how many people would try to “cancel” him or at least have very strong words for the director not casting an actor with autism, due to the character’s autistic tendencies? A whole lot of people on the internet and Twitter, I’ll bet. As someone who struggles with anxiety and panic disorder, would I be upset if someone without that mental illness got cast in a role of a character struggling with that? Sure I would. But if they did an authentic job and approached the role respectfully, it would be hard to stay irritated. Besides, there are always more roles created practically everyday.

To continue on with Davies’ quote: “...you wouldn't black someone up.” Yikes. I’m sure he didn’t mean this in a cast-off kind of way, but that’s how it comes across. I can see now why he said he wasn’t “being woke about this,” because a more “woke” way of putting that would be...what, exactly? “You wouldn’t cast a non-black person in a black role.” That sounds better and less harsh. Or even “a white person in a minority role.” Which should be common sense, and I agree with both statements.

And then “Authenticity is leading us to joyous places." Oh! Look at that! There’s that word that I’ve been using and emphasizing throughout this whole post! Authenticity is one major brick in the foundation of good, credible acting.

“High-profile examples of straight performers playing LGBTQ+ characters include Rami Malek's Oscar-winning portrayal of Freddie Mercury in Bohemian Rhapsody, and Taron Egerton's Golden Globe-winning turn as Sir Elton John in Rocketman.”

I haven’t seen Rocketman, but I saw Bohemian Rhapsody and it was great! Why am I high-lighting this movie? Because it’s the perfect example of a straight actor playing a gay character and playing it authentically, while also looking a lot like the real person they’re portraying. If a look-a-like had been cast who also happened to be gay, but couldn’t act to save their life or couldn’t bring as much as Rami brought to the role, wouldn’t that kind of put a damper on the film? And yet, Rami Maleck both looked the part and brought an authenticity to the role that many Queen fans loved and appreciated. Even the remaining Queen band members said that he did an incredible job and Freddy would be proud. I wonder if Freddy would care that Rami wasn’t gay? I doubt it, but no one can know for certain.

Then there’s the whole term “gay face.” I personally don’t think this is the right term to use because it could possibly diminish the whole meaning and importance of “black face.” Even if Corden appeared to be mocking gay people (I never watched The Prom so I have no idea what his performance was like), calling it “gay face” takes away from and inadvertently belittles the whole dark history of “black face.” Black face’s whole history comes out of an even darker history of racist times filled with hatred and ignorance. I’m not saying that gay people haven’t had their own experiences with hate and intolerance, but isn’t kind of “un-woke” and “insensitive” to compare the hundreds of years of blatant, public racism against an entire race of people to the intolerance of homosexuals? (Again, I’m asking this genuinely because I want to learn and get other people’s opinions. I’m not trying to speak for any community, and I recognize that my personal opinion on this matter is just that: my opinion. And I could be better informed.)

Along the lines of the above paragraph, is it wrong to say or think that casting a non-minority actor in a minority role is a lot different from casting a straight actor in a gay role? Sexuality comes in all shapes, sizes, and colors; that is to say, every race has people with different sexualities. But I think it would be pretty cringe if a Caucasian actress was cast in a role meant for an Asian or African-American woman.

Director Joe Mantello told Sky News the casting was not intentional, but rather a "very fortunate series of events".

He continued: "That being said, I think having an out gay cast really did inform the work and it took on a particular kind of tone because of that, which is not to say that's the only way to approach this material. But for this particular group, it did something that I think is very, very special. There's a chemistry that they have."

And this man summed up my entire argument! He also put into simpler terms what I have been trying to express about the beauty of theatre: there will always be special casts, especially when there’s a great chemistry from a shared experience. A "very fortunate series of events,” indeed. “The casting was not intentional...” leads me to believe that the director didn’t set out to have an all out-gay-cast, but rather, each actor brought great performances to their auditions and were considered by the director to be perfect for the roles. These actors also just happened to be gay.

If you’re still here after all of that, let me take a moment to sincerely thank you for reading the whole thing! I know it’s a lot, but I’m very passionate about acting and giving each and every actor a fair chance. Let me know what you think, and please be respectful!

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joestarsecrettecnique · 3 years

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I am so very sick and tired of the toxicity that’s been poisoning the snk fandom as of the last couple years. I gave myself time to digest the ending and my feelings on it, before embarking in a journey to debunk many misconceptions and critiques I’ve seen floating in the fandom.

By the way, by no means I think this ending is perfect. I think this is textbook execution by Isayama to tie together every loose end left behind in an orderly manner, and I think that it was a bit rushed and oversimplified. I would’ve wanted more of Eren and Armin’s conversation, more of the squad realizing what his true goal had been, and some narrative choices I don’t 100% agree with. But still, what I saw in other fans’ critiques post 139 frankly appalled me, so I feel the need to make this. Also, this obviously are my own interpretations, I am not Isayama himself lol

“Ew, so Eren did pull a Lelouch after all”

No, Eren did not pull a Lelouch. While his action and the final result may seem similar, I find very different nuances between the two. Lelouch wanted for the whole world to be united in fighting against him, and thus he made himself the world’s greatest enemy. His will to turn himself into a monster was selfless. Eren didn’t give a damn about the world, he had no noble intentions whatsoever. He said it in chapter 122, his goal was to protect Paradis and, more specifically, his closest friends. He turned himself into a monster, killed 80% of human population, and endangered the lives of those very friends he wanted to protect, so that by stopping him, those friends could be safe. Eren had no intentions to break out of the cycle of hatred or unite the world against himself, he just wanted to give his friends a chance to survive, and that is not selfless, it’s selfish. Eren’s goal was incredibly selfish, and biased, and driven by his feelings instead of rationality. Nothing like Lelouch!

Now this, this I myself am not the greatest fan of. I feel like it makes that great scene in chapter 122 loose a bit of its strength, Ymir obeying the king for 2000 years just because she loved him. Honestly, I always thought there was a bit of Stockholm Syndrome going on, but I didn’t think it would be the only reason. However, like it or not, it’s undeniable that it makes perfect sense in the narrative that aot has always strived to tell. Love has been a theme strongly woven in the story, and it also draws a great parallel between Karl Fritz/Ymir and Eren/Mikasa. Ymir was a slave to her love for King Fritz, just like Mikasa was a slave to her love for Eren, in that she struggled to accept reality until the very end despite the atrocities that Eren committed. Ymir stayed bound by her love for King Fritz, until she saw Mikasa break from her own poisoned love, aknwoledge it, and kill Eren despite of it, or maybe because of it. Only Ymir knows that one, heh. But the point is, Mikasa showed Ymir that she could break free of a toxic love, she was that someone that Ymir had been waiting for to finally free her of her burden.

“What? But that makes no sense!”

Now, on my first read, I simply thought that Eren had ordered Dina to avoid eating Berthold, and that he had made her walk down that road unaware that his mother was trapped (because we know that the Attack Titan’s future memories aren’t infallible, there are still gaps), killing her indirectly. I’ve since then read some theories stating that Eren willingly killed his own mum in orther to give kid himself a reason to feel enough hatred to kickstart the whole story. Honestly, I like this version maybe more! But let me explain to you why this is not a plothole, like many people think. In this same chapter, we have Eren explaining how the Founder’s power works in synergy with the Attack’s: “There’s no past or future, they all exist at once”. This means that time travel in aot doesn’t work in a manner where Eren extracts himself from time and space, and from a separate realm he operates on the past. The way I understood it, the mechanics works kind of like Tokyo Revengers’ time travel. MInd you, I only watched episode one, so my understanding might be jackshit.

Spoilers for Tokyo Revengers’ episode one. In the show, the main character loses consciousness and finds himself reliving his past. He interacts with someone in this “new” past, and when he wakes up again in the present, past events had been over-written by the changes he made. I think this is how aot timetravel works, with the exception that, since past and future (and present, of course) all happen at once, side by side, there is no old past to be rewritten, neither a future to return to, and present Eren wouldn’t be aware of the changes that his future self would make. It creates sort of a time paradox, yes, in the sense that there’s a loop where present Eren’s mom has been eaten because future Eren, in the future, operated on the past by causing past Eren’s mom to be eaten, but all these Erens are one and the same, as all timelines exist at once.

“Boo-hoo they ruined Eren’s character, he’s such a wimp!”

I have to confess (isn’t this appalling, that this is a thing that I have to confess, what the actual fuck), I am an Eren stan. I absolutely do not consider myself a Jaegerist, I think Eren’s option was better than Zeke’s, yes, but it was morally wrong and awful and he absolutely was not only in the wrong, but also if he wasn’t dead I’d want him to be punished for his crimes. I didn’t particularly enjoy him pre-timeskip, and I started to like him because I found his evolution fascinating. I wanted to understand his motives, what was going on in his head, he was a puzzle that I wanted to solve. Maybe because I’m a psychologist, who knows. Anyways, if you’re an Eren stan only because he acted like a chad and now you cry his character was ruined, I’m sorry to say, you never understood him. Eren was not a god, he was not a strategist playing 5d chess with perfect rationality, Eren was the same he has always been. He was a young man spun along by his passions. Eren feels things with burning intensity, he lets himself be driven by his emotions. He almost flattened the world because he was disappointed that he and his friends weren’t the only human beings inhabiting it, for fuck’s sake, he’s always been irrational, selfish, and immature. Of course he doesn’t wanna die, of course he want’s to live with all of them. You really expected a 15 year old hot-headed brat to become Thanos after he suddenly found out he killed his own mum and all his dreams had been crushed? Of course he felt conflicted, of course he suffered, of course he wanted to live, “because he was born in this world”. Honestly, when I read his meltdown, I felt relieved that his character hadn’t been turned on its head, it was heartbreaking to see that he really was the same brat he’d always been, that he’d tried to steel himself to do horrible shit for his friends’ sake and that he felt bad about it! It made me appreciate his character a lot more, I felt nostalgic towards the times when I was irritated by his screaming and pouting. Suffice to say, this is also my answer to all those people that believe his internal monologue to convince himself the Rumbling was what he really wanted were bullshit since he “pulled a Lelouch”. How can it be bullshit? Maybe he planned to be stopped, but he also said that he thought he would’ve still done it if they hadn’t. He also said that killing a majority of the population was something that he wanted to do, not a byproduct of the alliance not stopping him early enough, because with the world’s militaries in shambles Paradis would’ve had time to prepare accordingly. Anyways, of course he needed to convince himself to do this awful thing even if he knew he wasn’t gonna succeed completely, can you imagine how horrible it would be to know your only chance is to kill thousands?

I also maybe think it was because of the spine centipede thingy? When Eren says “I don’t know why I did it, I wanted to, I had to”, he gets this faraway look on his face and we get a zoom in on one of his eyes, which is drawn very interestingly and kinda looks like the Reiss’ eyes when they were bound by the War Renounce Pact? So maybe it was also the centipede’s drive to survive and multiplicate that forced Eren to do the Rumbling so that its life wouldn’t be endangered. I don’t know how much I like this, I feel like it takes some agency away from Eren and also makes it feel like he’s not as responsible for the genocide he committed that we initially though, which mhhh maybe not, let’s have him take full responsibility for this. As I said, I’m not defending Isayama blindly, I do have some issues myself with what went down.

“What the fuck, did he say thank you for the genocide?”

Guys c’mon, this is like,, reading comprehension. Yes, it was poorly worded and a bit rushed, but by now you should have full context to make an educated guess on the fact that no, he didn’t thank him for committing a genocide what the fuck you guys. Armin started bringing up the idea that maybe they should have Eren eaten because he was doing morally questionable things ever since the Marley Arc, which for manga readers was like what, 2018? Isayama has been showing for three years how not okay Armin was with Eren’s actions, how could it make sense for him to thank him for a genocide? You see some poorly worded stuff, and your first instinct is to ignore eleven years’ worth of consistent characterization to jump to the worst interpretation possible? Let’s go over this sentences and reconstruct what they mean.

“Eren, thank you. You became a mass murdere for our sake. I won’t let this error go to waste”. Armin recognizes that Eren had no other choice, but does not condone it. He clearly calls it an error, which feels like an euphemism but for all we know the japanese original term used could’ve been harsher. Point is, he clearly states he think what Eren did was wrong. But he recognizes that Eren’s awful doing opened up a path for Paradis to break out of the cycle of hatred. Not a certainty, but an opportunity. He thanks Eren for giving them this chance, and promises not to waste it, even if it was born out of an atrocity. He thanks Eren for sacrificing himself for their sake, even if he doesn’t agree with the fruit of his labor, so to speak. He’s thanking Eren for the opportunity that his actions gave them, not for the actions themselves! Where the hell do you read “thank you for the genocide” guys, sheesh. I’m mad at y’all.

“How could Eren send MIkasa memories if she’s an Ackerman and an Asian, and their memories can’t be manipulated by the Founder? I call plothole!”

Now, here we’re going into speculation territory, so you’ve been warned. I don’t think that that information they gave us was true, about Ackermans being immune to memory manipulation. We know at least that the clan is in some way subject to the Founder’s power, or Mikasa and Levi wouldn’t have been called in the Paths by Eren multiple times. Stories never being entirely true or false, or relativity, better said, has been a strong theme in the story, we know this by Marley’s and Eldia’s different accounts of history compared to the actual Ymir backstory we got. So who’s to say that the belief that Ackermans aren’t manipulable is the truth? Maybe they’re just hard to control, not impossible. We know that by the Founder’s ability Eren experienced past and future happening simultaneously, so he could’ve very well been trying to send those memories into Mikasa’s head ever since the beginning of the story, only just succeeding in chapter 138. It would at least explain Ackerman’s headaches as Eren trying to manipulate their memories and failing. Of course, we’d need Levi side of thing to know for certain, as he had headaches too and we weren’t shown in the chapter if Eren spoke to him in paths like he did with the rest of the squad. We know he didn’t talk to Pieck, but he even went and spoke to Annie who he basically hadn’t seen since Stohess, so I hope he spoke to Levi too. Who knows, maybe he even spoke with Hanji, but she died before she could remember. I wish we were shown that, honestly, I’m sad that it was skipped, especially after Levi said in an earlier chapter that “there was so much he wanted to tell Eren”. Fingers crossed for the anime to expand on it.

“So Historia’s pregnancy was useless”

What? No, it wasn’t useless! Eren told her to get pregnant to save her life, so that she wouldn’t be turned into the Beast Titan. If she became the Beast Titan, then Eren would’ve had to enact the plan with her instead of Zeke, and yeah, Ymir brought the power of the titans with her, so theoretically Titan Shifter Historia would’ve had her time limit removed, but we saw that the only way for the Alliance to stop the Rumbling was killing Zeke, so Historia would’ve had to die. Useless to say, when Eren talked to her about his plan, she was very vocally against it, so I don’t think she would’ve helped Eren with his plan. It was Zeke or nothing, and the only way for Zeke to keep his titan was for Historia to be unable to be turned, hence the pregnancy. Did y’all read the same thing I read? Anyways, she could’ve definitely been handled better, but she wasn’t necessary to the plot anymore, and her being removed from it in such a way was sad, yes, but it made sense.

“They massacred Reiner!”

Yeah, can’t really say anything about this. I definitely understand the sentiment behind this scene, which I appreciate. It’s to show that thanks to his Titan being removed and the times of peace approaching, Reiner was finally able to shed the weight he bore on his shoulders and “regress” to his more carefree persona he had when he thought he was a soldier, instead of a warrior. I am very happy for him, and I think it’s a nice conclusion to his arc, that he’s finally happy, but it could’ve been portrayed in a less comic relief-y way. It just sledgehammers all his characterization. Feels surreal that we saw him attempt suicide a couple month ago in the anime and now he’s sniffing Historia’s handwriting.

Guys, this absolutely sends me. There are people who unironically believe Eren actually reincarnated in a bird? Guys. It makes no sense, it violates every rule that Isayama established for his universe’s power system. How could he even reincarnate in a bird? Guys, c’mon, this is symbolical! Birds have been heavily used in aot to portray freedom, and this is a nice, poetic, symbolic way to show that Eren who lived his whole life chasing freedom and never actually got it, is finally free, like a bird, now that he’s dead. It’s also a pretty explicit nod to Odin, I think. Aot is heavily inspired by Norse Mithology, and I think there were some pretty clear parallels between Eren and Odin/Loki in the later arcs of the story. Eren has been shown to “communicate” through birds like with Falco in chapter 81, or with Armin in chapter 131. Emphasis on “communicate” because again, this is symbolic, I don’t think he actually spoke through the birds, he simply talked to them via paths, but birds are associated with Eren’s character (see also the wings of freedom, y’know?) and the shots were framed so to give the impression that he was talking through the birds, but he wasn’t. Symbolism. Anyway, I really think they were supposed to be a nod to Odin’s crows.

Aaaaand that should be it! Even though I most definitely forgot some other criticism on the chapter, it’s crazy the amount of negativity floating around. Hope I didn’t bore you!

#attack on titan #aot #shingeki no kyojin #snk #snk manga #aot manga #aot spoilers #chapter 139 #aot ending #eren jaeger #mikasa ackerman #armin arlert #aot 139

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raziroo · 3 years

Text

1.Stockholm Syndrome - Sirius Black

Pairing : Sirius Black x Reader

Genre : Angst

Warnings : Mentions of death, mentally abusive home conditions, pain. Read at your own risk.

Word Count : 4,297

~~~~~

I didn't like these people.

I didn't like the pretty redhead; not the kind brunet, not the funny raven, not even the nervous blond. And I certainly didn't like the rude, black-haired boy.

See, I'd been abducted by these people in hopes that I would give them information regarding my family, my father.

I was sitting in the living room of our not-so-homely home, reading a textbook about latin, trying to understand the meaning of the extremely complicated meanings of magical spells. I was bound to learn some of them, some day, I was sure of it. Because even if the magic flowing through my veins was untamed, there had to be some way for me to control it. At least that's what my great grandmother always said.

But then again, I'd always been fed lies, throughout my life, since I was an infant, so there really was no saying if it was true or not. Because I really was clueless about what this 'pure magic' meant for me; I didn't know how to control it, I didn't know how to not lash out if any dark magic was near me, and I certainly didn't know how to sleep without that soul-binding spell.

My life was a little complicated, yes.

Actually, more than a little complicated, but I do not wish to delve into the complexities and issues of my life. However, one thing I can say is that it isn't pleasant, and there is absolutely no possible way that I enjoy this life.

Anyway, as I reached to the five hundred and seventy eighth page of the massive book, I was rudely interrupted by a call of my name, coming from our house butler. Yes, we have a butler serving us, along with a house elf, and I myself am not sure why my cruelly disgusting father craves to express the 'power' he holds in the Wizarding World. I think it's annoying.

"Miss, please descend to the dungeons," Klaus, our butler, said. I didn't look up from my book. "Why Klaus, what is it?"

"Your Grandmother -"

"Great grandmother, Klaus."

"My apologies, miss. Your great grandmother requires you to get to dunge -"

"Why? Why does she require me to do so?" I asked, finally looming up at him, face neutral, eyes filled with scrutiny. He looked different from usual, though; the cuffs of his shirt were unbuttoned, his tie was the slightest bit loose, and he looked panicked.

"Miss, plea -"

However, before he could finish it, a CT of red hit him, along with a call of "Stupefy!". I turned to the door, only to see two men, about my age, one with jaw-length black hair, and another with sandy brown hair, at the door. The former had his hand held out, wand gripped in it so tight, his knuckles were going white.

I hadn't moved, but obviously, they'd come there to get me, because as soon as Klaus was passed out, both of them turned to me. They shared a glance, and I had blacked out too, the book falling from my hands.

This group of people, majority of them my age, called themselves The Order of the Phoenix. The name, being quite impressive, had managed to pique my interest. But, as my rotten fate would have it, these people would just glare at me whenever I asked them about it.

They obviously thought that I was worth of value to my family, my father, precisely, and so they'd captured me to get my father and his group of horrid men, men much like him, to come and rescue me, and then the Order would capture them as well; the Order probably wanted information from them. They'd also asked me a couple times, to see if I knew anything, but I had, unsurprisingly, told them I didn't, because I honestly didn't. They didn't believe me, and I hadn't expected them to. Everyone would think that being the heiress to a prestigious pure blood family, I would be aware of, and support, all their darkest secrets. My family was completely opposite; they didn't tell me anything they did, and didn't even consider myself a suitable heiress, solely because I was different from them; I was pure. My magic was pure, I couldn't be able to perform dark magic even if I wanted to.

My family had showed no signs of coming to rescue me, and I was sure they wouldn't, until Antonin asked them to. See, Antonin was my fiance, and probably the only one of the people who knew me to actually care even a tad about me. And even though I knew that it was just because he wanted to mate with me; children of people like me, and usual wizards and witches, were said to have stronger magic running through their body, stronger than normal magical folk.

I didn't even love Antonin, he was 9 years older than me, and it was he who was infatuated by me, by my appearance, and by my blood.

Tonight, however, was supposed to be a more interesting night than usual; the Order would question me. In the sense, properly question me. They would make me sit in a room for a couple hours, take turns questioning me, you know. Everything that a person wanted to go through.

I, personally, didn't think they knew of my abilities, of my magic, because one, my family did their level best to keep everything about me under wraps, and two, the Order never use the soul-binding spell on me before I went to sleep. That's the exact reason I hadn't slept in four days now; if I did, my magic would go into overdrive, and probably severely maim me and the other people living in this house. If there are any.

And so, currently, I am trying, and failing miserably, in reading one of the books this room contains. It's not that I don't want to read; it's probably the only source that I have to get rid of boredom. It's the fact that my eyelids are drooping, and my brain is desperately trying to convince me to fall asleep. I'm against my brain.

"Sit."

"Where?"

"On the chair, that's kept in front of the table."

"OK, OK, calm down," I said, and headed to the wooden chair that was clearly meant for me to sit in. That didn't mean that I wasn't allowed to irritate the three males who'd escorted me into this room. Specifically, Sirius. I'd overheard that glasses wearing man calling the rude one Sirius. And also 'Padfoot' a couple of times. I was sure it was just a stupid nickname.

I took my seat, and so did the three males. They were silent for the most part, and I fiddled with the charm of my necklace. After a period of prolonged silence, in which they appeared to be uncomfortable, and I thought about my betrothal with Antonin, among other things, the glasses wearing boy finally spoke up. "Where are Fab and Gid?"

Sandy haired boy shook his head. "No idea, James."

And then there was silence for another 5 minutes, when three redheads entered the room - one a pretty redhead, who was also pregnant. Weird I hadn't noticed that earlier, because she looked to be at least six months along. The other two were both men, looking a few years older than the rest of us, and were twins.

All of them greeted each other, but looked hesitant, and kept glancing at me, and although the others at least tried to be discreet, the twins and Sirius weren't even trying. Charming.

Pretty soon, my questioning had begun, the males all taking turns asking me questions, while the girl stood on the sidelines. I answered them to the best of my ability, because I honestly didn't know what my father, heck, my whole family was up to, but I sure didn't support them. I would never support them. Not after what happened to Antares. They didn't believe me, but I couldn't possibly do anything to change that.

However, when the questioning took a turn, and they started prying too much for my comfort, I diverted the topic, and very obviously at that.

"Why didn't you attend Hogwarts? Because you look to be about our age, but we've never seen you around. And you weren't enrolled in any Wizardry institution, don't try to lie. We have all the records." Fabian said, pulling out a thick file of papers from a drawer I hadn't noticed.

I tried to keep my face neutral, but my jaw was working, and they saw that too. I had been caught in headlights, and needed an escape, quick.

"What's your name?" I turned to the girl, who looked startled by my sudden interest in her.

"Huh?" she asked, looking to the raven haired male, who I assumed was her boyfriend. "Your name, what is it?" I raised my brows, biting on my thumb nail.

"Uh, Lily, my name is Li -"

"Lily," I said slowly, liking how it rolled off of my tongue, my eyes staring into the distance, and then snapping to her. "Beautiful name, suits you. And," I pointed at the stomach of the bewildered woman. "First child?"

"Yes."

"Hm. Good for you."

I then turned to the males, who had all been watching mine and Lily's interaction with incredulous looks. "So, you're the father, I assume?" I questioned James in a tone I rarely used, authority. They all turned to me, silent. "Hm?"

"Y- yes, I... am the father." The boy looked genuinely nervous. Poor thing.

I nodded, and sat up attentively. "Well, I would really appreciate if you got this questioning session over with quickly," I said.

"I... OK. Yeah, let's, get on with it... Remus?" Gideon turned to the sand haired boy.

"Yeah, yeah, so -"

Just then, the door to the room burst open, and plump woman of about thirty entered the room, with hair same as the twins, and she looked distraught. "Molly?" Fabian asked. "What is it?"

"Death Eaters! I- in Diagon Alley!"

The males all got up in an instant, snatching their wands; James went over to his panicked-looking... whatever Lily was to him, and cupped her face, pressing a chaste kiss to her forehead. As the men all left, the two women glanced at each other, and then at me, probably because they were confused on what to do about me. Or probably because I hadn't even turned to Molly when she'd made her entrance, hadn't glimpsed at the bustle in the room even once.

*****

One whole week. One whole weak, solid seven days, I'd gone without even a wink of sleep. I didn't know how I was even awake at this point, because all of my being, my entire body was begging for me to sleep, and I wanted to, so badly. But I couldn't. If I didn't wish to hurt these people, if I didn't wish to hurt myself, I couldn't. I was aware of that, and accepting of that fact.

But it seemed that my kidnappers weren't. For on the eighth night, Sirius entered the room with a tray of food. This was strange because usually it was Lily, or occasionally Remus, who came to serve me food. I wasn't exactly sure why Sirius Black, of all people, had come to give me food.

My confusion was momentary, because I sensed the smell of a sleeping concoction as soon as the tray of food was set on the bedside table. And I would've been able to eat the food, if only I knew what exact item the potion was mixed in. The rest of the food was perfectly consumable.

After surveying the tray of food, and Sirius' neutral expression, I asked him a question. "Can I ask you something, Padfoot?"

A strickened expression flashed across his face, but was gone as soon as it appeared. "Don't call me Padfoot," he growled, jaw clenched. "And no, don't ask a question. Just eat your food, and let me go," he looked up to me, his face a couple feet away from mine, hair falling in his face. I would have been lying if I said he wasn't abnormally attractive.

"Okay, then. What have you mixed the sleeping potion in?"

"Could you please shut up with your nonsense, and let me go? " he stood up straight.

"Could you please answer me, and do me the favour of leaving? " I retorted, eyebrows raised.

The male exhaled forcefully through his nose, looking extremely pissed. "No."

"Okay."

"What?"

"Oh-kay," I sounded. "I mean, you can leave. Go."

He looked skeptical. "Okay, I'll leave."

"Yeah, yeah, go. Just- uh, and take the food as well," I said, motioning to the tray.

"You don't wanna eat?" he asked.

"I do want to eat. I would honestly really appreciate if I could eat food, I mean, I can't sleep, food will be appreciated. But," I drawled the word out longer. "I don't wish to consume a sleeping potion."

The man looked at me after my statement, for about a minute. And then before I could react, he was aiming his wand at me, and I passed out, part of me glad to receive sleep, and a fraction of me scared of what was very clearly bound to happen.

My body felt hot, all over, as if there was electricity flowing through me. A familiar feeling of stinging pain consumed my head, and spread to my body, slowly, painfully. Inevitable cries, shouts, and groans of pain escaped me, eventually turning to screams of pure agony. Tears flowed from my eyes, as I writhed and thrashed, my magic erupting out of me in short bursts.

I could make out the faint noises of people entering the room, casting spells, and trying to control my magic. I knew it would be uncontrollable; it would only go away when all my energy was drained, as in literally drained, I wouldn't be able to use magic for about a week or two. There was another way, however. The soul-binding spell. Two simple words, 'ligat animam', and all my misery would be gone. But none of these people were skilled or powerful enough to carry that spell out, I was sure of it. Even my father had to practice for a good three weeks to get the spell right, and however much might I dislike him, I had to say that he was an extremely skilled wizard, and an experienced one too.

These wizards and witches, however, would just end up fainting, and not help me in any way. After all, the soul-binding spell was as tiring as the patronus, if not more. Constricting a person's soul, their core, their magic, it wasn't an easy task, shouldn't have to be.

They would just get hurt, the Order. And so, overpowering my agony and suffering for just a moment, I managed to utter something that made them leave, albeit hesitantly. "It wo- ah! Won't wo-urk! Lea...ve! Un-less you... bind- the sou...l! Please!" and went back to sobbing. I guess they understood what I said, and left.

Waking up was a very energy-consuming task, more so than you could ever fathom. Every joint, every bone, every fiber of my being hurt, and hurt bad. My body was so completely sore, it was almost numb, and it would have been a million times better if it was numb, because the aching was unbearable, something no one should have to experience. In simpler words, it was as bad as the after effects of the Cruciatus curse.

I somehow, Merlin knows how, managed to support myself up on my elbows, before crumbling to my bed again. Morgana help me. My situation was hopeless and I knew it.

I had nearly given up on hopes of getting up and about, when someone entered my room. Correction, two someone's entered my room. One was a sand-haired male, Remus Lupin, and the other was a black-haired one, Sirius Black.

I had only recently learned that this Sirius was the Sirius Black, epitome of disappointment, perfect example of what was considered disappointing in a pure blood family. It was actually quite foolish of me to not put two and two together, there were very less people who would name their child Sirius.

Anyways, as the two men entered my room, my eyes followed their movements; Sirius stopped at the entrance, while it was Remus who actually entered the room. The latter trotted to my bed, and unexpectedly, helped me sit up. I was surely surprised at first, yes, but managed to cover it up pretty well. Or so I thought.

"Why do you look so surprised, hm? We're good people, you know, people who actually want to do good for the Wizarding World," Sirius chided. Now, look, I would have just ignored him, like I always do. But one should have the basic understanding of when they need to stop blabbing, and stay silent. Sirius clearly didn't have such sense. And so, when Remus went to say something to the former, I cut him off and spoke myself.

"Siri-"

"Yeah, you're such an angel, aren't you?"

The boy's jaw clenched. "And what exactly is that supposed to mean?"

"Oh, I don't know, probably the fact that you put me to sleep without my consent; you are the reason the happenings of last night even occurred!" I answered, my tone sharp. My retort didn't seem to faze Remus a lot; in fact, he had a slightly guilty expression himself. But why would- Oh.

The sleeping potion, obviously. These people were worried about my sleep schedule, and that's why the attempt to get me to sleep. They probably thought it was because of being captured, because of anxiety, that I was losing sleep. Foolish people.

"You thought- you all thought that I wasn't sleeping because I was stressed... about being held captive?"

When no one broke the silence, I did. By chuckling. "You are all so naive," I said, full out laughing now, albeit it being hysteric. Their faces were hilariously incredulous.

I stopped laughing, and rolled my eyes.

"I, have no reason to be worried, or stressed, or- or anxious, of you," I said, each word being pronounced with each of its syllables. "I didn't wish to sleep because of... Well, because of what happened last night. You thought it wise to interfere in matters that didn't concern you, and that's why I had to- " I stopped, and took in a breath, closing my eyes.

"Could you please leave?"

*****

Sirius didn't wish to, apparently, because after only three hours of providing me with time to think, he returned. That complete, absolute git had the nerve to enter my room after hurting me so much.

He cleared his throat. I didn't pay attention. He coughed. I still didn't listen. He stopped trying, saving the little bit of self respect he had left.

After a long and painfully uncomfortable period of silence, I adressed the man who was present with me in the room. "So, you're here."

"I- uh, yes, uh, I guess I am... After all." he cleared his throat again, not meeting my eyes.

"Hm. Well... what are you here for, Mr. Black?" he radiated an even more awkward aura, if that was possible. "I... I wanted to apologize. On the entire Order's behalf; we shouldn't have tried to, uh, put you to sleep forcefully."

"That's... yeah, you shouldn't have." This statement made him look ashamed. "But, well... I guess your heart was, uh, sorry, hearts were in the correct place. You just needed a bit more... Research. It's... Okay, after all. I accept your apology."

The male finally looked up, hope flickering in his eyes. "Really?"

"Yes, really," I nodded, not breaking eye contact. He smiled a bit; the smile made him look a hundred times more attractive than he already was.

"That's... Great. Thank you."

*****

Two months. It had been two more months of me being held captive, but my family didn't seem to care; some would consider my condition to be pitiful. Over the course of these two months, I had grown fond of these people. James, Lily, Remus, Peter, Fabian and Gideon, even Sirius. I didn't really know Peter that well; he seemed kind of scared of me, if I'm being honest. I didn't really dwell on it too long, just shrugging the matter off.

I also was sleeping on a regular basis; Dumbledore helped with the soul binding spell. Meeting the elderly wizard had been quite an experience, I would always remember it.

Currently, I was eating breakfast on a small foldable table, Sirius sitting opposite me. I had grown closer to him more than anyone else, he actually had a great personality. I think his personality was the reason why he came across as so effortlessly attractive.

"How is it?"

"The food?"

"Obviously."

"Well. It's actually really good. Doesn't seem like something Molly would typically make, but it's good."

"Really? "Sirius seemed uncharacteristically excited.

"...Yes. Why? "

"I made it. "

I looked up at him, studying his face. He really had made the food on his own. "Liar. "

"Wha- no! You got to trust me" I'm not lyi-" He was enraged.

"I'm done. Congratulate Molly for cooking such delicious food," I said ignorantly, putting my fork down.

"You do believe me, don't you? You're just trying to irritate me," Sirius said in a tone that seemed to be wanting to convince himself more than me, that I believed him. He waved his wand, and the plates and cutlery were gone, table folded and levitated to the side.

"Well... I might be," I said, sheepishly.

He stared at me. I stared back.

"Can I ask you something?"

"Go ahead."

"Why... We're you not anxious or worried? I mean, you were being held captive, it doesn't matter however nice the captor is," he asked, hesitantly.

I sunk back in the pillows, and suddenly, my hand seemed to intrigue me more than they ever had. "It's okay, you know, if you don't want to tell," he began in a hurry. "It's perfectly fi-"

"No, no no no, " I cut him off, stretching my hands in front of me. "It's just... They aren't exactly... The best household to be part of, or grow up in. They've always ridiculed me for... My magic. Because it's different, and because it repels dark magic. The kind that they always put to use, so, they feel... offended, maybe? That their daughter, their own blood can't do the magic they want her to. It's no big deal, honestly," I laughed, not breaking my record of not loosing at the male opposite of me. "I guess it's just how pure blood families work."

I kept my gaze in my lap, pointedly ignoring Sirius. Said person stayed silent for a long time; longer than I felt comfortable with. Just as I had begun apologising for burdening him with my family's secrets, he reached across and hugged me. Tight. And initially, I was confused, but then I made out the vibrations of his chest against mine: sobbing. Sirius was sobbing. Why, I wasn't aware. But that didn't matter. So I hugged him back. I held him close to me, my arms wrapped around him tightly.

*****

He was here. They all were here. For me.

It had been six months since I was captured, and they were finally here. Lily's son had been born, little Harry, and he was in danger. Lily herself was in danger. And so were James, Sirius, Remus, Peter, everyone. Gideon had already been maimed; Fabian was dead.

All because of me.

And just as I burst out of the room Sirius had locked me in, so as to keep me away from the insane amounts of dark magic outside, I collided with him.

"Antonin," I breathed, looming up at the man. He was clean shaven, like always, and his eyes had that cruel glint, like always.

"Oh, love," he sighed out, like he'd been putting a lot of effort to just be able to say that to my face again; and with the ambush these Death Eaters had carried out, I was sure he had. He was just about to wrap his arms around my torso, when a spell hit him from behind, blasting him to the wall. Horrified, I looked up, and my orbs met stormy gray ones.

The person who possessed these eyes grabbed a hold of my forearms, and in one swift motion, I was inside that wretched room back again, and Sirius had locked that door, again.

"What do you think you're doing?!"

"Sirius, calm down, I was-"

"Calm down? I'm sorry for not being calm during an ambush! Now what were you-"

"Sirius! Listen to me, alright? They- um, Antonin, he won't stop until he has me, okay? And Fabian is already, I can't, I'm sorry. But I've got to go, okay? I have to go, becau- "

"No, no no no! No! You can't! Please, love, no-" He looked so panicked. For the first time since I'd known him, Sirius black looked a wreck.

I kissed him. Square on the lips, and for a time period that seemed way too short to tell him how much I really loved him.

"I love you, Black. And don't you ever forget that."

And with that, I stormed out of the room, right into Antonin, who apparated me out, with Sirius having that stunned and pained look in his eyes.

*****

Twelve years. It took him twelve years to break out of that hellish place.

I would have scoured the planet if I could, for him. Shame really, that I was already dead. James and Lily thought so too.

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lokilickedme · 3 years

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Submitted by @fudgemuffinanon

Ok I think I’m up to date….

1. HOLY SHIT WOMAN! You had Covid and just learned about it? How did you find out? Was it with a test? And you handled the asshat at the grocery store way better than I would have. I’m not patient, nor diplomatic, and I have major RBF syndrome… The temper goes with the face more ofter than I care to admit…

2. Your grandmother’s story was incredible. I know you don’t need another project but this could be a beautiful book. No fandom incorporated, just her story.

3. As @mollage said, the Universe is after you! But you may be one of the strongest woman I know, going through all your adventures with that attitude. Thank you Elizabeth for passing down your fiery spirit!

4. With everything that happened to you in the last few weeks, I can’t expect you to write anything. I’ll just wait and take what you give us. Fuck, I just have to deal with Baby Girl’s online school - Big Boy is responsible enough to deal with his class mostly alone - and I have to tell her to go back to the computer every 5 minutes and I’m going NUTS! And we have one more month to go…

Ontario has been in stay-at-home order since April 8th, and non-essential stores MAY reopen mid-June at 15% capacity and outdoor activities in small groups MAY resume IF we have 60% of population vaccinated with their first dose. We’re about 58% now according to Health Minister but they stopped giving Aztra as first dose, so all the pharmacies that could give it now can’t. There’s a lot less Pfizer and Moderna doses available so I don’t know how fast it will happen. But it means I will most likely get my second dose quicker than August. Yay me! Second phase won’t happen until we get 70% 1st dose vaccination. So we’re stuck for a while. We’re going out in the woods for walks once in a while so we don’t get too close to people but I want to go to a fabric store sooooo bad!! I’m done picking ticks off hubby everytime we get out. And I’m running out of crafts to learn on youtube.

Ok, enough ranting… gotta go finish knitting Baby girl’s bday gift. A 6" turtle. With clothes. And a shawl. And boots. Yeah… Love ya!

*******************************************************

Fudgey!!

Yup. All four of us had covid back in November of 2019, before it broke wide and before anyone really knew it was in the US. Husband was able to track it back to a coworker who’d returned from a family visit to China (he works with a large community of Asian Americans who travel back and forth a lot). The coworker came home sick, and shortly after that our household got the worst “flu” any of us have ever had (that was what we thought it was, a weirdly violent flu that hit each of us differently). I’ve never been sicker in my life, my husband thought I was going to die and he claims I told him to just let me go if it looked like I wasn’t going to make it. I’m pretty sure I meant it…it was that bad. I may have actually requested an assist to the other side at one point.

So anyway, a little while later it broke wide and when the symptom lists started coming out we started wondering if that wasn’t what we’d had. Husband finally a few weeks ago went and talked to the guy that had come back sick from overseas and the guy said “Oh yeah, I had the covid, did you get it too?”

By that time there had been approximately 150 known cases at husband’s workplace and six confirmed deaths from it. Grrrr.

At this point it was too late for us to get confirmed, but husband contacted a friend in Colorado who is a covid specialty ER nurse and described our symptoms and the timeframe of our illness to her. She said we absolutely had it - she’d had it too during that same timeframe, before it broke wide and before anyone knew what it was.

So now all my lingering weird-ass symptoms make sense. Big and Little are fine, they don’t seem to have any long-term problems, though I’m keeping an eye on them (especially Big). Husband is fine as well. Me? I took it in the seat of the pants, but like I was telling someone the other day, as soon as one of the longhaul clinics sets up here I’m gonna be there.

The putz in the grocery store was nothing unusual for here. What really gets me is the way people glare at us for continuing to wear masks - it’s almost scary. WTF is wrong with people.

Glad you liked my grandma’s story. Honestly I don’t know enough to write a book about her without having to speculate on a lot of in-between stuff because she was a very secretive person (probably for a good reason tbh) but what a tale it would be. She was a mess :D My mother has always been mad at me for taking after her - she never liked my grandmother much, there was some bad blood between them from decades back, and yeah that’s kind of a good story too lol

Ah, speaking of writing, I’m going to toss out a short chap of that silly self indulgent side-thing for The Department tonight (probably as soon as I send this reply off) and then I’m shooting for a chapter of the actual fic tomorrow at some point. Taking advantage of the husbandary absence (yes I know that’s not a word but it works)

I feel ya on the homeschooling - the boys finished their semester two weeks ago and the stress of that final week for Big (9th grade) was insane.

I wish we were under a stay-at-home order, but where I live hardly anyone obeyed it when we WERE. I love living here but I swear sometimes the people make me want to move off-planet just to find a higher intelligence demographic.

Anyway, I gotta see this turtle when you’re finished with it. You mentioned it so now you gotta show it. I’m going to bug you every day until you provide pictures because even though I can crochet a blanket like nobody’s business I cannot crochet a doll to save my own ass. Gonna have to rely on you for that ;P

@fudgemuffinanon

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bnha-almost-a-hero · 4 years

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ૢ✧∘*━━𝐀𝐃𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍,

a;n: ʰⁱ, ʰᵉˡˡᵒ. ᵉⁿʲᵒʸ ᵗʰⁱˢ ᵖⁱᵉᶜᵉ ˡᵒᵒˢᵉˡʸ ⁱⁿˢᵖⁱʳᵉᵈ ᵇʸ 'ᴸᵃ ᶜᵃˢᵃ ᴰᵉ ᴾᵃᵖᵉˡ'. ⁿᵒ ˢᵖᵒⁱˡᵉʳˢ ᶠᵒʳ ᵗʰᵃᵗ ˢʰᵒʷ ᵒʳ ᵐʸ ʰᵉʳᵒ ᵃᶜᵃᵈᵉᵐⁱᵃ ⁱⁿᶜˡᵘᵈᵉᵈ. ᵃˡˢᵒ ⁿᵉʷ ᵇᵃʳᵒqᵘᵉ ˡᵃʸᵒᵘᵗ ᵒⁿ ᵃᶜᶜᵒᵘⁿᵗ ᵒᶠ ᵐʸ ᶠʳⁱᵉⁿᵈ'ˢ ʳᵉᶜᵒᵐᵐᵉⁿᵈᵃᵗⁱᵒⁿ.

𝐀𝐃𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍,

𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐬; yandere! shigaraki tomura, a blabbermouth! reader, dabi, toga himiko

𝐢𝐧𝐬𝐩𝐢𝐫𝐞𝐝 𝐛𝐲; le casa de papel ⁽ᵗʰᵉ ᵒⁿˡʸ ᵗʰⁱⁿᵍ ᵏᵉᵉᵖⁱⁿᵍ ᵐᵉ ˢᵃⁿᵉ, ˡᵐᵃᵒ⁻⁾

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬; bank robbery, hostages, guns ⁽ᶜᵃⁿ ʸᵒᵘ ᶦᵐᵃᵍᶦⁿᵉ ˢʰᶦᵍᵍʸ ʷᶦᵗʰ ᵃ ᵍᵘⁿˀ⁾, stockholm syndrome, post apocalypse, a brief, shitty rant on evolution and socio-economics because...? i should have made a graphic, fuck—

The first thing a person does when the world ends is adapt.

It’s an animal’s first instinct to every major event in life. How can I survive this? How can I live to preserve my future? It takes a while, sure, but you learn to find a niche in the system—something left behind by the species before you. And you take that niche and you exploit it.

When the League of Villains had raided the bank you were in, you couldn’t help but wonder why no-one had done so sooner as your skin prickled and your body trembled. Banks were amongst the first buildings ransacked when the government body collapsed and a power vacuum emerged.

After all, society had practically hammered in the idea that money was something one should strive to obtain since one entered schooling and learnt of jobs. And, Blu-Tacked to the walls of many a primary school, was a clip-art of a bank—representing both the letter ‘B’ and the far-off concept of money.

A civilisation's head was often the person with the most influence or possessions: both of which could be bought with money which was most concentrated in a bank. That’s why you had come here, you told the head of the operation, Shigaraki Tomura as he rounded up the hostages with the nozzle of a rifle.

“Shut up,” He muttered from behind the hand clinging to his face. You stared up at it for a moment as you knelt down and pressed your hands behind your head in surrender. Your eyes traced the knuckles, the notches, the imprints surrounding the fingernails. So lifelike, you think as you watch him turn and walk away, I wonder who sculpted it.

The other hostages whimper beside you, heads meek in their disparity, but you can only smile.

The world had truly and honestly went to shit.

“Don’t you find it odd?” You asked the man, Shigaraki, when he came to transfer you to the western atrium of the bank. Four of his fingers curled around your arm, cold to the frigid bone and with a grip that could crush ice. Still, you did nothing to stop him as he dragged you along, even taking a few steps of your own accord. You spoke once more, “Don’t you find it odd how banks make money out of thin air? How all they do is print paper and say, ‘Hey, this is worth something,’ and we all just go along with it?”

Silence.

“I guess that kinda constitutes cult behaviour, right? I mean, what’s stopping someone from refusing to acknowledge the value of money?” You make a ponderous ‘hmm’ with your lips as Shigaraki stops. “On that thought, why is gold so valuable? It’s just a metal; it’s not even that useful. Then again some people eat it, so—”

Shigaraki’s thumb presses down hard onto your skin, followed by the nail of his index, “You talk too much,” He mutters. You look at the hand clinging to his face, wondering what adhesive he must have on it. Do adhesives even work on clay, you wonder, or maybe it’s a clouded plastic? He reaches his other hand up to scratch at his neck, the third time today that he’s done so. “It pisses me off.”

“Where’d you get that hand from?” You ask, feeling like an idiot when his red eyes flit towards yours. A part of your mind asks if maybe you’ve poked this bear a little too much, but you shake your head, it’s just a fake hand. “Like, does it have a sculptor tag on that brass thing at the bottom?”

Your hand reaches out to grab at the golden lining at the bottom of the hand, but Shigaraki veers back suddenly and swats your hand away.

“Don’t touch Father!” His voice is almost a shriek in its highness, yet there still is a brash rasp to it that you recognise. With a brief movement, you snatch your hand back to rest it against your chest—crestfallen. Shigaraki straightens up at once, eyes narrowing to a flash of red before he turns and stomps off.

Your lips part, but the wheeze that escapes it betrays your total bewilderment at the situation. You stand there, watching as his gaunt form disappears through the door at the end of the hallway, eyes wide and fingers twitching as the last of your adrenaline dissipates.

“Another tantrum?” A voice says behind you, you jump. “I’m not surprised anymore. Never thought he’d snap after you, though.”

You twist around, eyes remarking the tall, willowy figure behind you. Dabi, his name is, the one who’s been half-assedly threatening the hostages since the heist started.

“What are you talking about?” You ask, an eyebrow raised.

Dabi chuckles and pushes past you, then turns so you can see one frighteningly blue eye beneath the expanse of black hair. “You’ll see, doll.”

“You shouldn’t be talking to them so much,” Izumi murmurs to you when all of the hostages are rounded up in the morning. Your poor ‘hostage-buddy’ had gone pale ever since the League had crashed through the door, their eyes glassy and red. “They’re—” They pause, looks around for a second. “They’re villains.”

You nod along to them, though your eyes are trained to Shigaraki who’s going about overseeing the sorting of hostages. Your belly still simmered with uneasy guilt when you thought back to the incident three days ago. He was obviously attached to the hand—you knew that—and yet you had reached out to touch it without permission like an—

“Idiot,” You murmured, kicking the marble flooring with the tip of your shoe.

“What?” Izumi whispered, although they stiffened as Himiko Toga came skipping along.

“Noth—,” You yourself stiffened when Toga came at a standstill before you, slitted eyes peering into your soul.

She smiled a wicked smile, then spoke, “I need to have a talk with you!”

You gulped. Beside you, Izumi shivered and stepped forward, about to speak but upon glancing the blade settled at Toga’s hip, fell stiff and silent. You couldn’t blame them, though, you would’ve done the same thing.

“Sure,” You stated, attempting to put a smile on your face, if only to settle Izumi’s nerves.

Oddly, Toga reached out to grab your hand, tugging you along to the eastern corridor. You passed Shigaraki on your way, who turned his head to regard you and Toga. Was that anger you caught in his eyes as he looked over at Toga? You thought nothing of it.

Toga hummed a hymn as she lead you further and further into the bank until you were just in front of the printing room. This is where money is made, you thought, staring dumbly at the steel, vault door. This is the heart of the world.

Toga giggled at the look you gave the door, “Tomura had the same face when he saw it. He was less happy when he found out that he couldn’t get it open.” Toga pressed a palm flat against the door. “It has a Quirk-cancelling force field around it, so we’re stuck here until we can get the door off.”

“That’s why you’re still keeping hostages,” The remark is a rouge thought vocalised.

Toga nods, “Yeah, there were some pesky heroes outside looking for you guys, but Spinner’s got rid of them.” She makes a gun motion with her hands, you gulp. “Anyway, that’s not what I wanted to talk about. I came here to talk about boys!”

“Boys?” You ask, a little confused and a little indignant. “We’re in a hostage situation!”

“Yeah, I know, but I noticed that Tomura’s taken a liking to you.” She boops you on the nose. “Well, he’s liked you for a long, long time, but he’s finally got to be close to you. I wish it was like that with my Izuku.”

The identity of Izuku is the least puzzling thing about that sentence.

“For a long time, what?” You blurt out.

“He was in love with you before the End happened,” Toga smiled, stepping closer to you. “He was so sad because he thought you died, imagine how happy he was to find you here!” Toga babbled on, “He’s not too happy about that Izumi guy that’s always following you around, though. If I were him I would’ve have gotten rid of them, but—”

Your mind leapt. Izumi, you’d left them alone with a bunch of villains. You turn your gaze toward Toga, who seems lost in her own conversation before looking behind you. The door leading out of the hallways seemed so far, although if you were fast enough, it would be easy to just run there.

With a final glance to Toga, you turn and get ready to start running. A hand against your arm and a blade against your back stops you, however.

“Where do you think you’re going?”

#shigaraki x reader #yandere shigaraki #tomura shigaraki x reader #bnha x reader #shigaraki imagine #tw: yandere #🙴 my work.#˙˚*:･ﾟ༻series: adaptation

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aureumjeon · 5 years

Text

tiptoed his way (m) || kth

pairing; taehyung x reader. genre; roommate!au; smut; fluff; angst. warnings; breaking and entering, unintended voyeurism, female masturbation, oral (both receiving), unprotected sex via doggy style, choking, tae suffers from MSS(Monster Schlong Syndrome lol), that’s about it. word count; 6.4K (unedited im sorry :()

summary; ➜ Taehyung found himself locked out of your shared home and there were only two options to successfully get inside. (1) Wake you up from your sleep and face the wrath that’ll follow, (2) Think like a burglar and enter through your window. (Un)fortunately for him, he picks the latter.

taglist; @bella-victoria002 @chaitaewithkookies @saddiesan @wehadnochoice @knjhe @thoughtsfromfaroffplaces @livorna @taetaeobsessed @erisann @thoughtsfromfaroffplaces @wickizer

a/n: the old gif doesnt work i dunno what i did wrong :(

“I’ll be out ‘til late, y/n! Don’t wait up for me.” Taehyung hollered while lacing his worn out white high-cut converse in the entryway. Hoping his voice would reach the end of the hallway where you were currently cooped in in your room.

“Alright! Stay safe!” Not bothering to leave your room, you answered back. Voice echoing through and bouncing off the dry walls. After waiting a few minutes, you heard the door slam shut with a thud. You cautiously tiptoed your way to the direction of your door, slightly opening the solid block of wood and peeking through the narrow crack you made. With no Taehyung in sight, you pumped your fist in the air and cheered victoriously. You finally have the house to yourself. You beamed with delight scurrying yourself over to the kitchen to make yourself a hot steaming bowl of instant ramen.

Taehyung and Jungkook had been your room mates since you can remember. It was freshman year of college, and you were looking for a cheap place to stay with the money you saved up working as a part-time student during your last year of highschool. A friend had introduced you to Jungkook, saying they needed one more person to split the bill with, broke college students need to support each other. At first you were hesitant, a girl living with two boys in a shared house wasn’t you initial plan but as the days go by since you first moved it, you got to know Taehyung and Jungkook a little more. Your friendship with them had gotten greater, the three of you were inseverable and you treasured them to bits!

Although in the four years you’ve been boarding together, every now and then they can really get on your nerves; letting the dirty dishes stack up at the sink until molds would flourish on the left over food; leaving the empty carton of milk in the fridge just as you’re planning to enjoy it with cereal or maybe a pack of Oreos; bags of chips and boxes of pizza scattered on all parts of the living room floor whenever they’d have movie night on Fridays with Jimin and Hoseok; and last but not least, the thing that they always do that grinds your gears the most, their dirty laundry in every corner, nook, and cranny of the house. Stinky socks, sweaty shirts, crusty jeans and even used underwear, you name it!

One time you had guests over; all girls might you add, studying for a group project in chemistry. Oh poor, sweet Yeri… Her unsullied innocence mercilessly corrupted by Jungkook’s disgusting underwear that had a suspicious dried up patch of white something on the crotch area of the small fabric. Yeri almost fainted when she pulled out the article of clothing from the kitchen caddy, flinging it across the room to where the other girls were. You scolded Jungkook the same day, advising him to keep all his stuff where it needed to be kept and on top of that to apologize to the poor girl he scarred for life. Which he did, and that’s the story of how Jungkook and Yeri’s relationship began. Who knew, right?

Taehyung was like Jungkook at first, but somehow he decided to stay under your radar as best as he could. Once you lectured him on something he’s done wrong inside the quarters of your home, he’d make it a point to engrave it on the back of his head. He has his fuck ups every now and then, but nothing too consequential. There was one time though, and you wish you could forget, that he brought a girl home which wasn’t against the house rules. Jungkook had brought Yeri numerous times and you, yourself, had your fair share of men visiting the house, specifically your room. It was s well established etiquette to keep the ruckus down since you we’re sharing this living space between the three of you. But during that critical time, which you’ve spoken to Taehyung and Jungkook beforehand never lacking to remind them on multiple occasions throughout that day. Telling them to please keep the noise to a minimum because you'll be revising for for a major exam that was equivalent to forty percent of your total grade. Somehow, Taehyung managed to forget your simple and completely doable request. With the paper thin walls between you and the absence of soundproofing, you were able to get every moan, groan and mewl that came from Taehyung’s rooms adjacent to yours. That bastard is so dead was the sole thing on your mind right now and not the words inscribed in the textbook that you’ve read over for the tenth time that night. The morning after that horrendous night of not getting anything done, you waited irksomely in the common room for taehyung and his date to emerge from his chambers.

“Y/n, y-you’re up early.” He gulped, taking in your appearance. Your gaze was piercing especially with the huge dark bags under your eyes. “I’ll take Minju ho--”

“I’m sure she knows here way back.” You cut him off with a bark in your tone, “Can’t you, Minju?” Your focus was now directed at her and she was quivering under your constant scrutiny.“Y-yes,” She clutched on her designer handbag bowed nervously before fleeing the place like a prey encountering it’s predator.

“I asked you for one thing, Taehyung, one thing.” You lowered your head and massaged your aching temples with your fingers, placating your exasperation towards the boy who was placed in the hot seat. “You knew I was studying tonight, Tae.” The timbre of your voice wasn’t sickeningly livid anymore. From spiking up to a hundred degrees in the last two minutes, it dropped down to a negative ten. “This test is worth forty percent of my grade, I told you that. This is the first time I requested you to do something for me...” You shut your eyes close and drew out a long sigh before standing up and intending to head back to your room. “If I fail this test, I want to let you know it’s on you, Tae.” His features were extremely devastated and disheartened, not because of the things you just said but because of how he had forgotten all about it.

You inconspicuously peered back at him and the look on his face says it all. A helpless puppy abandoned by its human, that’s what he resembled most at this moment. Big glassy eyes, a wet nose and pouty lips. Okay, that was kind of a mean thing to say, you thought. But you never failed to remind him, always opening up and squeezing in the topic during the mundane conversations you shared together. After one last disappointed sigh, you looked up the clock, 6:55 am. “Anyway, I still have three more hours before the test. I’ll be in my room.” You turned your back on him and proceeded to take a few steps forward before saying one last thing to him, “Please, please, please. Don’t bother me.” You were on your way back down the hall, nothing will stop you from cramming seven chapters of lesson into your brain in less than three hours in one sitting.

“Sorry, Y/n.”

Sorry ain't gonna cut it, chief.

Its as if Taehyung was able to read your mind, “ I’ll- I’ll be on bathroom duty. For two, no, four weeks. Yeah, yeah. One month of bathroom duty, Y/n. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to forget.”

You glanced over your shoulder and caught a glimpse of Taehyung with his hands clasped together, his facial expression pleading for forgiveness. You knew he was really sorry. Why? Because nobody liked bathroom duty, not even you.

“That seems fair to you, kook?” You spontaneously asked, making Taehyung scan the living room area. Glass started clattering in the kitchen and your doe-eyed bunny-boy of a roommate came hopping in. Taehyung was seeking compassion from his long-time comrade. Maybe shortening his time on bathroom duties or lending him a helping hand at least. Bros before hoes, right? “For the record.” Jungkook started, taking a sip from the cold banana milk bottle in his hand. “You kept me up, too. And I have football practice at eight.” He shrugged his shoulders casually before hiding back in his man cave. “Have fun cleaning, Tae.”

Your chiding was for everyone’s best interest, may this incident serve as a lesson of respecting other people who also lives in this household. Although there was one thing you were still unsure about. After that episode, Taehyung has never set foot in the premises with a woman draped around his arm again. You hoped you did not terminate his hopes of getting a love life.

In conclusion, they’re just a bunch of stupid college boys wanting to survive this hell hole, what do you expect? So, having the house to yourself was a once in a blue moon moment you’d never take for granted.

It was two in the morning, and Taehyung was stupidly perched at the doorstep patting his pockets for what seemed like the tenth time in the last ten minutes searching for his keys. "Shit." He grumbled under his breath, taking out his phone from his back pocket and calling up Jungkook's number. After the third try, he finally answered the call.

"H-hey, what's up? I love you and all that shit but why are you calling at two in the fucking morning?" The voice is the other line was dry and scratchy.

"Ah," Taehyung felt apologetic for waking up the Jungkook but he absolutely needed help, "Sorry for bothering you, Kook. Do you happen to know where the spare key is? Left my copy in my room before I went out and now I'm locked out of the house," He laughed embarrassingly, attempting to check his pockets one more time before calling it quits, wishing his keys would magically turn up in one of them.

"Taehyung…" The line suddenly went silent, it was a good fifteen seconds before Jungkook went on speaking,"Didn't I tell you that I'm holding onto the spare key to have it duplicated since my I lost my copy?"

There it was again, complete and utter silence. If it wasn't for irregular breathing coming from the other line, Jungkook would've guessed Taehyung had dropped the call already.

"Just wake up y/n, I'm sure she wouldn't mind." Jungkook suggested, that was probably the best route to take.

"No bro," Taehyung's tone was unnaturally dark and empty.

"Can I ask why?"

"L-Last time I locked myself out and woke up y/n," he choked on his series of words, recalling the traumatic event that occurred in the past. "She made me wait a whole hour before opening the door. While I was waiting out in the cold, y/n cooked bacon and pancakes at midnight just to spite me. The smell of the food made my stomach flip and growl. When she finally let me in, she ate it all by herself while looking me straight in the eye."

Jungkook on the other line laughed uproariously at Taehyung's untold story, "Remind me not to get on Y/n's bad side. But in all seriousness, how are you planning to get inside the house?" He queried the boy who was stuck in an unfortunate predicament."I don't get back til' Sunday. And it's only Friday."

Taehyung's eyes lit up like those light bulbs in cartoons when the characters gets a genius idea. "Is your room the one without the safety locks on the window?"

"One, no. My windows have safety locks. Y/n's window is the one without it. And two, that's a really bad Idea, Tae."

"What's a bad idea, babe?" Taehyung indistinctly overhears a hushed voice in the background. His conversation with Jungkook probably woke up Yeri too. "Oh, Taehyung's planning to enter through y/n window to get into the house." Jungkook made sure that taehyung was hearing what Yeri had to say, since she's been friends with y/n just as long as them. Her giggles were so innocent, akin to a baby but the words she said were the exact opposite. "That is a stupid idea, unless Taehyung wants to be hit on the head with a metal baseball bat and bleed to death."

"Yeri said that that's a stupid idea unless you--"

"I heard what she said. And I won't even make a sound! I'll tiptoe my way through her window and out of her room in a flash! That way I'll be in the house and won't have to wake up y/n! I see this as an absolute win." Taehyung broadcasted triumphantly like he had discovered the map to the lost City of Atlantis.

Yeri snatched the phone from her boyfriend's hand and lectured Taehyung y/n style. "Tae, this isn't the time to be quoting the Incredible Hulk when you're the one who's gonna be beaten to a pulp when y/n wakes up and mistakes you for a burglar. Just wake up y/n and ask her to open up the door for you. It can't be that bad, you'd live a longer life that way. Face the consequences of being a pee-brain."

"Nope," It seemed like Taehyung had made up his mind, and when Taehyung makes up his mind, there's no point in stopping him.

"Ahhh, tell your friend good luck. I'm going back to sleep." Yeri gave back the phone to her boyfriend. "You have our regards. If you don't die, call me back in the morning." A loud yawn can be heard from Jungkook's end as he hangs up.

And that's Taehyung's go signal.

He stealthily made his way round the perimeter of the house to the side where your room was located "Bingo." He mused as he spotted your window, slightly left ajar. He strategically maneuvered his way across the flower bed embedded on the ground, calculating his steps accurately not wanting to step on your precious roses and daffodils. He knows he can't lie to you, if asked who trampled on your bloom, he'd rat himself out in a blink of an eye. He'd like to enjoy a long flourishing life. Grow old, get married and possibly have kids and grandkids.

Not like what he's about to commit will spare his life either way.

Even with the lack of light and the gauzy material of the curtain, his eyes could make up your vague figure on the bed, tossing and shifting your legs about. Must be some crazy dream you're having, he thought. Though he can't get a clear view of you, he's certain you were there.

He sucked in a deep breath and slowly pushed the unlocked window wider just enough so that he can slither his body inside, dragging the curtain along with it. He prayed to the heavens above that the hinges doesn't make a sound, not even a tiny squeak or his head will be the one hanging from the valances.

With his hands securely clasped on the window sill, he utilized his upper body strength to propel himself up until his knees were secured on the narrow wooden surface. "Phew" he shakily exhaled, switching from his current kneeling position to a crouching one, gaining more balance for his following steps.

Before fully entering your room now that he had obtained a better view, he decided to take a proper look at your charming unconscious face. Wait, scratch that, that didn’t come out right. What he meant to conclude was…

When Jungkook first introduced you to him as their new flatmate, he couldn’t help but be blown away. He was thunderstruck when he was graced by your overwhelming presence. Soft silky hair that he’d like to get bury his face in, letting the scent of your shampoo take over his senses; Round bright eyes that somehow carried the countless stars and galaxies, he’d willingly surrender himself just to get lost in them. A lovely button nose that scrunched up when you smiled and introduced yourself for the first time. “I’m Y/n, nice to finally meet you Taehyung.” he remembered clearly, god, how can he forget. Your soft-spoken voice perfectly fitted your delicate face. It was love at first sight, what else could it be? He fell for you hook, line and sinker.

He covertly watched over you, not in the stalker-ish way, of course. Whenever you’re lounging around in your favorite pajamas or simply tidying up the house, he’d inevitably find a small smile creep up on his lips. Even just knowing that you’re inside the house when he comes home from the university by the way your favourite music was blaring from your room made him happy. He learned along the way that you were really introverted, spending most of your weekends at home reading your favourite novels and choosing to withdraw yourself from the generic college scene. Opting for a movie night date with your friends rather than partying at some musty frat house. Moreover, you didn’t strike up any conversation with him or Jungkook unless it was about the house or if it was that important to talk about. Unbeknownst to you, all the things you detested like unwashed dishes or misplaced dirty laundry, he did it on purpose just to get the attention he craved from you. Sometimes he felt guilty at the way he acted whenever you were around, a pout or two on your upset face.

But he came to the point that he was tired of hiding and playing safe behind that thin line called “Friendship.”If he wasn’t gonna man-up and take action, nothing’s gonna change. So on your twentieth birthday, that’s when he decided he wanted to confess his love for you, hoping that the unrequited becomes requited. He bought a cake and decorated the whole house with a banner, balloons and streamers. He even paid Jungkook fifty dollars to keep his mouth shut about it.

What happened after was far from his or Jungkook's expectations. You came home from a date. A date which none of them knew about but here you were, wide eyed and jubilant to see the simple surprise party your dear roommates took the time to prepare for you. You introduced the boy standing next to you as your boyfriend. "Boyfriend" that word stung like a bitch.

It was then that he decided to put an end to this one-sided pinning that has been going on for quite some time now that hasn't bloomed into anything, not even a tiny sprout. If the stars were aligning and the universe was really on his side, he would have been your boyfriend by the end of the day, not some guy named Lucas.

Every other night he'd return with a girl to his room for nothing more than a quick fuck, never meeting with them for a second time. He thought it was something that would dull the agonizing throb in his chest, it worked for the most part. The bodily pleasure those women brought him made him forget momentarily about everything he's ever felt for you. He thought it was only a matter of time until all the feelings he'd kept would dissipate into thin air.

Minju, he recalled. A girl who was just as perfect as you in his eyes, well almost. With the thought of taking Minju home and having her all to himself as a priority in his mind, he got carried away and overlooked one critical thing you asked of him which was on top of that a principal house rule the three of you agreed on. "Always keep the noise to a minimum."

He knew he fucked up the moment he spots you sitting on the couch glaring at him as he and Minju walked out of his room. He saw the look of disappointment etched on your face at how he had let you down and recognized how bad he fucked up. He thought that you’d never forgive him and end up hating him for the rest of his life, but you always kept proving him wrong. A familiar box was atop the center island with a pink sticky note attached to it.

"I'm sorry I got mad at you, Tae. It was probably the stress talking. Btw, I passed aced the exam! Hehe. <3 y/n.”

That was when he realized he truly did not deserve you.

His profound daydreaming was put to a halt when he heard a hushed moan originate from your direction. His jaw almost unhinged at how low and wide it was hanging from his face at the sight he has failed to notice prior to entering your room. A convoluted expression was apparent on your face, with your brows knitted together, and eyes shut tight, upper teeth frustratingly nibbling at your bottom lip. Your left hand hidden under the sheer fabric of your shirt, kneading at your mound lavishly while the fingers on your other hand were tirelessly circling around the glistening flesh between you spread legs. You weren’t sleeping, you were masturbating!

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Gotta get out. Gotta get out. Gotta get--

His whole life flashed before his eyes as he witnessed the mason jar you used as a flower pot unexpectedly gets knocked over by his rogue foot, emanating in a clangorous noise as it hit the seat of your metal chair tucked under your desk. There were numerous circumstances that he wished he could get out of certain situations unscathed, which as luck would have it he did. This one? Not so much as your instincts urged you to direct your attention to where the abrupt sound came from. He saw your bewildered eyes staring at his squatting figure by your window.

Taehyung quickly slammed his palms over his face concealing his eyes while blindly steering his body farther into your room, knocking over your other stuff in the process. As his feet finally met solid ground, it was now time to plead for his life. “Y/n! Shit! I-I can e-explain. I l-left my keys! A-and I didn't want to wake you up. I didn't mean seeing that!" He heard the sound of his rapid heart beat resonate in his ears, ringing so loudly that he couldn't even hear himself think.

You found his flustered stuttering adorable and endearing. You weren't angry and knew he was telling the truth. Taehyung, no matter how brazen and badly behaved he was, has not ever lied to you. You can take his word for this one but a little teasing hasn't killed anyone. “Never perceived you as the peeping type, Tae."

"I swear, I'm not!" His cheeks started burning red, the scorching heat of embarrassment crawling up to his ears and down his neck.

You didn't answer him right away, and all he could make up with his vision temporarily impaired was the shuffling sound of your bedding and the indistinct footsteps walking towards him. "Well since you're here, might as well help your roommate out." You whispered suggestively in his ear, and he felt his jeans grow a little tighter by the crotch.

You pressed your body against his until the corner of your desk was painfully digging into his back. "What do you say, Tae?"

"I-I don't think this is right." He respired weakly, his knees were starting to buckle at the figurative weight weighing down on his shoulders with palms still stuck to his eyes.

"Wanna know what I think." You purred salaciously, the tip of your pointer finger lightly tracing over the skin of his clavicle. "I don't think this is a question of what's right and wrong," Your hand started to head south, stopping precisely at his sternum, your fingers drawing small figure eights over it. "I'm single, your single."You further proved your claim, hand once again dropping lower. Taehyung wasn't much of a gym rat like Jungkook or Jimin so he didn't have any abs. But you still appreciated his body nonetheless, especially paired with his remarkably attractive face. "I see this as a question of want and don't want. And judging from this," without warning, you cupped the hard-on he was sporting. Waves of electricity surged through his blood vessel, every cell in his body had doubled its working pace. "You want this as much as I do." Slowly, you palmed him through his jeans, fingers molding the curve of his clothed dick. His heart rate spiked and breathing got more labored with your words and actions.

He wanted to see you. He wanted to remove his hand from his face and see how the moonlight shining through your window illuminated your appearance, enhancing your elegant features tenfold but he was terrified that this will lead to something that will eventually ruin your friendship.

"Taehyung..." You whimpered, starting to feel impatient. "Say something. Tell me what you want. Tell me to stop, please just say something."

"I-I," Fuck it, he thought. He detached his hands from his eyes and encased it around your petite torso, finally giving in to the treacherous temptation that is you. "I want you, y/n." He dipped his face in the curve of your neck, filling himself up with the sweet scent of you. "I've wanted you for the longest time, y/n." His voice was guttural and strained, he'd never thought the time of him finally confessing to you would come. It required him every tendril of his being to finally come clean. An abandoned door that was once locked has instantly been pushed open, and his desire for you has never been more ardent.

"I want you too, Tae."

Moments later you've found yourselves entangled within each other's embrace, caught in a sweltering and heart racing make out session. Every brush of lips and prod of tongue was burning of lust and passion. The way your fingers intertwined with his and filling its spaces perfectly like the final piece of an unfinished puzzle. It felt so natural, the way the rise and fall of your breathing and the tempo of your pulses fell in sync. It felt like something that should've been done ages ago but was hindered by something unforeseen.

As he hovered above your frame, you couldn't help but be drawn in the boundless sea of his deep hazel eyes. Wisp of his curled lashes resting prettily on his eyelids, the tip of his pointed nose dusted a shade of baby pink and lips pursed into a gentle smile. He observed you with hooded eyes as you absentmindedly stared at his face. You couldn't comprehend how a mere human can bear this much beauty and elegance in his mortal body, even the gods would seethe in jealousy at his splendor.

"T-tae. I want to feel your dick down my throat." You professed bashfully, marvelling at his beauty can wait. Right now there was one thing you fervently wish for, him and his entirety.

Your bluntness was always one of his favourite traits of yours. "I'm all yours." He replied, placing an affectionate kiss on your lips.

"Stand at the edge of the bed." You instructed, going on all fours and crawling your way to the same spot. "C'mon!"

Taehyung with arched brows headed to where you wanted him, planting his feet firmly on the carpeted floor. "Okay, now what?"

"I've always wanted to try like this." You pressed on, lying on your back with your head almost hanging off the edge of the bed, slightly propping it up with a small pillow. Taehyung was caught off guard with your new position, “Y/n, what are you doing?” He queried with an arch of his brows.

“I’m ready to take your dick.” You seemed determined, sweeping your loosened hair away from your face and tucking it behind your ears. “Saw this in porn before and I’ve been itching to try it out.

You just kept pulling out tricks from your sleeve, Taehyung never imagined you to be the type who watches porn. “You watch porn?” He incredulously questioned eyes going wide that hinted inquisitiveness.

“Oh please, I am a human being. Stop looking at me like I’m some saint. I can watch adult videos whenever I want to.”

“Fair enough,” He acknowledged while unbuckling his belt, revealing the stiff bulge tucked in his boxer. He tugged the garterized hem of his underwear down and allowed his member to spring free.

You were genuinely astounded with his impressive size and girth, tip red and already leaking pre-cum. “From all the years we’ve been living together, I kinda expected you were big, but not this big. Didn’t know you were suffering from MSS.”

“MSS?” he eyed you outlandishly, having no idea what you were talking about.

“Monster Schlong Syndrome.” You answered as you tried suppressing the mischievous smile forcing its way onto your lips.

“Shut up, Y/n.” Taehyung’s cheeks grew rosier at your compliment about his dick, but he still preferred being humble about his size even when he was with other girls.

“Make me,” You provoked him, opening your mouth fully and sticking out your tongue. Feeling rather wolfish to have him in your mouth.

“Are you sure about this?” He queried you one last time, making sure you were a hundred percent okay with this. “I’m the one beginning to feel uncomfortable with your position.”

“I’m fine, Tae. I want this.”

He couldn’t help stroking himself while taking in the image of you sprawled on the bed eyes totally blown-out. Begging and lusting over his cock. Taehyung gently tapped his length on your cheek,causing a smirk to form on your lips. “Stopped teasing,” You wailed vexingly, growing eager by the second. You tossed your head back even further while opening your mouth much wider, giving Taehyung a greater angle.

“You ready, baby?” His already deep voice dropped an octave lower, a sultry and sickeningly honeyed tone slathered all over his words. You crossed your legs together feeling the steamy heat pool between them as you nod fervently.

Unhurriedly, Taehyung pushed the tip of his cock past your lips. The warmth and wetness of your mouth elicited a satisfied groan from him. He pushed even further down your throat, sheathing himself completely and noticing how tight the space has gotten as he descends. “Fuck, baby. Your mouth feels so good,” he euphorically moaned seeing how your pretty mouth is stretched by his thick cock.

You blissfully purred at his praise, and the vibrations of your throat around his member sent a chill down his spine. “I-I’ll start moving, okay.” He choked on his word, his senses brimming over with the buzz of pleasure. At a leisurely pace, he began gliding his dick in and out of your hot cavern, hearing lewd squelching sounds with every push. “Shit,” He rasped when you hollow your cheeks around him. “Your mouth is the best, baby.” He quickened the speed of his thrusts, savouring the constricted hold you’ve got on him. Tears started to pool at the corners of your eyes as your mouth was bombarded with the repetitive jabbing motion. You’ve never felt this full before, the way he has you gorged put you in a state of pure ecstasy.

Taehyung shifted his veiny hand to caress your face, wiping away the wetness from your corners of your eyes. With his balls slapping right into your face, you failed to capture his pupils dilate and the concupiscent glint in his dark orbs. His hand found its way at the base of your neck, favouring the tug of the skin, muscles and bones outlined beneath the surface. His slender, bony fingers spread across the expanses of your neck, petting the strained muscle domestically. His digits started to curl around the base, the blunt of his fingernails digging into your skin and you felt the restriction of air affect your lungs.

Taehyung knew you were enjoying this as much as he was even with you gagging and choking on his dick. He exerted more pressure on your jugular, and you felt your body sink further into the mattress. He thwarted his hips into you once more, deeper than before as his wanton howls reverberated inside your room. Before he could blow his load in your mouth, he stopped himself and pulled out his swollen cock coated with your spit.

You opened your eyes and griped at the sudden sensation of barrenness, "W-why'd you stop?" You felt light headed, your body eventually recognized the lack of oxygen you underwent. Your chest hurriedly heaved up and down as you were gasping for air, trying to catch your breath.

"This is my first time fucking you, the only place I'll be cumming in right now is your pussy." Taehyung wickedly grinned, looping his arms behind your neck and knees and carried you bridal style. He walked over the side and carefully lowered you on the bed, head snuggly resting on the pillow leaned on the headboard. He made his way back to the foot of the bed, taking a seat directly in front of your bare core. "Since I interrupted you earlier," his hands began stroking you calf, tiny goosebumps springing up from his touch. "Let me make it up to you and make you feel better than those little fingers of yours."

You detected a hint of embarrassment as Taehyung's gaze focuses on you already seeping sex. He began crawling closer to you core, tipping in to pepper kisses on your inner thighs. As his warm breath began rousing over your skin, you couldn't help but clench around nothingness at the level of arousal you were experiencing. "What were you thinking about when you were pleasuring yourself?" He cooed the question out before licking a wet stripe along your moistened slit. His tongue was dancing in his mouth after finally acquiring a taste of your delectable nectar. "I-I was thinking about you, Tae." You answered weakly, the pad of his thumb now circling your sensitive nub. He hummed in approval at you words, his tongue was the one promptly to devote its undivided attention to you bundle of nerves. "What was I doing then?"

You released a long exhale when you felt Taehyung slip on of his slender fingers inside your hole. "I-I thought about how you'd fuck me with your huge cock," You admitted, shutting your eyes as he twirls his finger inside you. He inserted another digit, and it got you tossing your head back in fervor. "How you'd make me cum so hard.”Your eyes reeled back at the back of your head as another finger slips into you with such ease.

“You’re soaking wet, y/n.” he was prideful of how you’ve become putty under his ministrations, “And all for me.” He sloped down once more and flicked your clit with his wet muscles at an excruciating pace. You started feeling yourself clench around his digits, “W-wait.” You intervened, not wanting to release just yet. “I want to cum with you.”

He devilishly grinned from ear to ear and flipped your body over, your knees and palm bearing the weight of your exhausted body. “Wanna hit you from the back so bad.”

You lowered your torso and arched your back inwards, excessively sticking your ass up on full display. Taehyung smeared the accumulated pre-cum on the tip of his cock all over his length, painting it with the lubricating substance. He aligned himself with your entrance and gingerly drove his hips forward until he bottomed out. “Fuck, y/n. You’re cunt’s even tighter than your pretty mouth.” the interior walls of your vagina squeezed at his member, accommodating his length incomparably. “Your pussy was made for me, y/n. Best pussy I’ve ever had.”

As much as you fancied him to rant about how amazing your pussy was, you wished he’d just shut up and pound you into oblivion and put an end to the tormenting ache bubbling inside you. “Move.” You sought, pushing your rear end against him hard and coaxing him to ultimately move.

His knuckles were turning white at how tight he’s gripping onto the curve of your hips, nails engraving small crescent-shaped marks on your skin. Without warning, he launched the onslaught of the brute ramming of his dick into you. Each thrust he bore were insanely crisp and accurate, striking your sweet spot with every jab. The sound of skin slapping against skin and your heavy breathes were the only tunes filling the silent space of your room. Taehyung pulled out his length almost completely, appreciating how coated and soaked it was with your juices, awakening another entire level of his vehement lust for you. He slammed himself back into your tight slit, clenching his buttocks and rutting his pelvis at an inhuman speed.

“I’m so close, Taehyung.” You wailed sinfully with a high-pitched strain to your voice, aware at how every muscle in your body is tensing up.

“Me too, baby.” He unexpectedly towed you by your hair until your back collided with his chest. His hand located your neck yet again, wrapping his digits around it and cutting your intake of air. You swear that at the end of this, your neck would be sore, purple and bruised because of how robust he retains his grip on you. At this point, his movements began getting sloppier and imprecise, suggesting he was at last getting to his most sought-after high. His idle hand shakily made its way to your almost forgotten clit, ruthlessly rubbing at it with the pad of his fore and middle finger continuously until you were convulsing around his cock and milking him down to the last drop. Both of your body collapsed on your bed, utterly breathless.

“Wow.” Taehyung managed to breath out.

“Yeah, wow.” You repeat, steadying your breathing. “What happens now?” You awkwardly asked, staring at the blank ceiling like it was the most interesting thing in your room.

“Wanna go on a date?” His voice was filled with reluctance, the thrumming in his chest never calming down. Now wasn't the perfect time to ask you that kind of question. So he braced himself as he waited for your answer.

You turned your head in his direction and looked at how the light from the now open window magically outlined his enchanting profile. “You’re way out of order but I’d love too.”

Taehyung's obnoxious ringtone Disturbed the silence of your sleep.

"Your phone is ringing." You grumbled, t

"Yo, Tae, glad to hear you're still alive. Got into the house yet?"

"Yeah," He paused, looking at you. "Got into y/n pants as well."

#taehyung x reader #ksmutclub #btsguild #magicshopnet #bangtanarmynet #taehyung smut #taehyung x you #taehyung angst #taehyung fluff #taehyung oneshot #bts smut #bts fluff #bts angst #bts oneshot #kim taehyung #kpop smut #taehyung fanfic #taehyung fic #bts dark moodboard

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jonjordanforrealz · 3 years

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12 Years Is a Long Time

September 29th is my son Arron’s 11th birthday – a cause for celebrating for sure, and a time for this parent, as most parents do, to ponder aloud, “How in the hell did that go so fast?” For me, sentimental sap that I am, birthdays are always a time for reflection too.

In doing so this morning, I was, of course, reminded that September 29th is also the anniversary of my brother Michael’s passing. A year to the day before Arron came into this world, Mikey left it. 12 years ago today. That’s gone a different kind of so fast itself.

I’ve talked about my brother’s death many times over the years and it never bothers me to do so. Most of the time, it makes me happy just to talk about him at all. To be remembered is to be loved and he certainly is in both instances. But I don’t think I’ve ever really shared much publicly about his last day.

And I need to let it go.

Who knows? Maybe something like this can help somebody.

For 12 years, I’ve carried the weight of that day and never really faced it or dealt with it. And I’m tired. It’s heavy and I’m tired. And to fulfill my final promise to Mikey, actually, I need to get rid of it, once and for all.

Following a lifetime of major medical issues and severe mental and physical handicaps, and doing all he could over the course of his 25 years to beat the odds and somehow conquer and survive one and all, Michael would meet his match in the form of an internal bleeding issue that just couldn’t be solved.

A kid like Mikey, who couldn’t really communicate outside of very basic emotions, had no way of conveying to doctors what anything felt like, where it hurt, how long something had been bothering him, and so on and so forth. So oftentimes, things got worse, sometimes as bad as they possibly could get, before anyone could even get anywhere close to figuring out what the hell was going on. And in his final chapter, this reality first led to him being transported to be treated by specialists in Tampa, and then ultimately, to our family’s greatest test. That we were so conveniently able to face that final decision together thanks to his relocation to my neck of the woods was a stroke of luck that I don’t think anyone appreciated until years later.

Michael’s bleeding issue just wasn’t going away no matter what the doctors tried. Not to cheapen the matter, but I think someone likened it to plugging a hole in a hose with your finger, only to have another open shortly thereafter. At some point, you run out of fingers. And so, we were faced with two choices: An exploratory and very invasive surgery that guaranteed nothing or a nonsurgical Hail Mary that was every bit the final hope. My parents encouraged me to speak freely and honestly in that days-long conversation and as I recall, my opinion never wavered, though of course, I respected and understood their agonizing back-and-forth.

To me, this kid had already been through so much, literally since Day 1. Countless major surgeries and painful procedures that would absolutely hammer (and maybe finish) most “regular” people were the worst of the lot. Other concessions over time – simple things like eating and drinking normally – also took a toll, I’m sure, as every human needs simple joys.

Throughout his last ordeal, there had already been several procedures, and in my eyes, he didn’t need more of that. With the proposed surgery highly likely to kill him anyway, I didn’t see the justification to put him through that sort of torture again. I didn’t want that to be his way to go out. As his closest advocate, because “brothers” means something more that those who don’t have can know, I knew he didn’t want that to be his way to go out either.

Instead, I argued, that through the non-invasive course of treatment, while the odds of that working were stacked heavily against him, this put the ball in his court. This made it so that he could fight, if he wanted to. For a kid who rarely had the chance to call his shot at any time in his life, this was that. “Scrap if you want to, kid,” I thought. “If anyone can beat the odds one more time, it’s you.” And if not, I thought he had that right too. And I wanted to fight for that. This time, I wanted to fight for his right to fight. Or not.

And so, with my parents on board, we gave him his shot, and at first, true to form, the kid was responding positively. Amazed yet unsurprised, we carried on with some hope for the first time in seemingly forever … and then everything just tanked. Quickly.

I’d prepared for this my whole life. And I had thought I had been stepping into this moment already time and time before. But I wasn’t nervous. I felt a sense of urgency, after getting the call, because I wanted to be with him but I wasn’t nervous or scared. Something that always comforted me was a belief that if anyone ever deserved a peaceful end, it would be Mikey. Once we were faced with the grave news, the doctor assured that as they stopped doing whatever they had been doing to treat him, and focused on making him comfortable, that he would indeed get that peaceful transition. And I know in the medical world that nothing is ever guaranteed but I really believed it. I believed in that. It’s all I wanted, then, knowing that there was no winning this last fight.

But it didn’t go down like that. His last day wasn’t, at first, peaceful at all. It was prolonged. And there were gasps and groans. At one point, a seizure. And I was mad. I was so mad.

At the same time, I knew what it was, really. This kid’s will to fight just doesn’t go away. It’s funny because from the very beginning, one of the things he was diagnosed with was some syndrome called Failure to Thrive. Fuck that.

When the worst moments hit, and I watched my brother and my family suffering, I didn’t feel mad anymore. I just felt like I had to do something.

There’s a picture that I have of my brother and I in bed. I was maybe 10 and he, six. We shared a room at that time and when my mom or dad would come in to get us up, if I was being a bum and still laying there and we had somewhere to be, they’d plop Mikey right in my bed next to me. That always got me up. Nothing like an eye poke or swift kick from the kid who “couldn’t control his movements” to start your day – accompanied, of course, by his trademark giggle.

That little shit … It’s still my favorite picture in the world.

In those final moments, I just crawled as far into his hospital bed as I could to lay next to him, just like we did on those mornings as kids, and I whispered to him, “It’s okay. You don’t have to fight anymore. We’re going to be okay.”

You see, I’d often wondered, when I was very young, why he pulled through so many things that most people wouldn’t. After all, I’d always noticed people bitching and moaning about the stupidest things (oh, contemporary America!), wandering around aimlessly in perpetual woe-is-me mode. If anyone should have ever just said, “Screw this!” and checked out, Michael should have. But he had us. And we, him. He pretty much defined us, really, for better or worse. I felt like there was at least a little something in him that told him he needed to stick around for us. And I just wanted him to know that we would be okay if he couldn’t anymore.

Within minutes, things calmed down. His breathing slowed. The stupid machines making noise start doing so more sporadically. And then, before we knew it, it was over. That was it. The end.

I remember lots of hugs and tears and one of many goodbyes to come. And then we said thank you to some staff members – really a symbolic thank you, from me at least, to so many over the years. To people in the medical field, I look at you as I do teachers, and that is in the highest regard, having intimately known both worlds, whether I wanted to or not.

I remember going outside and nobody saying very much.

I remember sitting down at a table.

And then I remember saying, “Well, what do we do now?” I don’t think I ever quite figured out what to do. A purpose I’d always had was now gone.

Of course, in the coming days and weeks, we had plenty to do – plenty of the mind-numbing, gut-wrenching things you have to do to prepare for a loved one’s final arrangements and all that. I took on a lot more of the sort than I ever had at that time because I felt like my parents shouldn’t have to, so I was distracted by productivity. But soon after that, I don’t remember anything. Don’t remember his funeral. Don’t remember leaving my parents and coming back home. Don’t remember going back to work. Sports, friends, events … nothing.

Truly, I think I completely lost a year. I don’t remember a lot at all about the time in between Mikey’s death and Arron’s birth. And then the latter happened and it was like the pause button I’d pushed on life had been pushed again, whether I was ready or not.

And while I was obviously happy to be a dad for the second time, I was also still hurting, which I must have forgotten about too in that year prior. And again, I was mad. I was so mad.

In the years since, that anger lingered, because if you don’t hit something head-on, it doesn’t just go away. Anger leads to hurt, fear, panic, anxiety, a defensive existence, and isolation. I’ve experienced it all and I wouldn’t wish any of it on my worst enemy. I’ve distanced myself, I’ve been checked out and I’ve lashed out, retreated within and pushed people away. It has caused me problems in every element of my life at one time (or more) or another.

None of it is any excuse and it’s a lot for which to apologize over a long period of time but if my suffering has ever caused any sort of suffering for anyone reading this, I am sorry.

(Note: I’m still going to enjoy my space and my distance more than most people but, overall, I can be better!)

I feel like some of this might be a surprise to people because I don’t show it, hardly ever. I’ve gotten good at projecting this version of myself at any time, regardless of what’s really going on. I even manage to have and to be a good time, probably a bit too often influenced by some additives I’ve grown fond of over the years. But there are times when all of that is just masking a wreck. And it has to stop.

I don’t know why I’m shedding this now other than that I need to – because it can’t go on forever. I haven’t come close to being the best version of myself and I have people around me who deserve nothing less than that. What better time than now if I’m finally recognizing that, at times, I haven’t been good? And at my worst, I haven’t even been okay.

And the bottom line is that I promised my little brother, as he left us 12 years ago, that I would be.

I’ll never let go of him. He’s on my arm and in my heart and I hear his voice – especially that laugh! – every single day.

But I’m letting go of that day.

12 years is a long time.

It’s been heavy.

And I’m tired.

And I have to be okay.

#bros #family #michaeljordan

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