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#and then the season ends where the killer finds out about his LITTLE SISTER and ends on a cliffhanger. and gets cancelled so we’ll never kn
killherfreakout · 5 months
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i’m scared and i’m angry and i’m alone and i’m just. everyone has their shit together but me! look i’m sorry. i’m sorry.
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starberryes · 2 years
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don't you (forget about me) | steve harrington x reader
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“Oh, great, she’s here,” Steve says, stepping away from the door.  "First of all, Harrington," You scoff, glaring at that mop of hair with all the rage you can muster. "I have a name. Second of all, we are talking here—” Steve rolls his eyes. "Yeah, yeah, whatever—" "You did not just roll your eyes at me—” Dustin sighs. "Here they go." (or: You've always thought Steve Harrington was a weirdo. When you find out you might be in terrible danger, he might be just what you need.)
pairing: steve harrington x fem!henderson!reader (she/her pronouns used), lots of henderson siblings bonding <3
words: 13.9k
a/n: gif by @dailysteveharrington. thank you all for being patient and i hope you all like it<3 i loved this season and i love steve so i hope you enjoy this lil enemies to lovers fic. this fic is a one shot, but let me know if you'd like a sequel once vol 2 is out bc its a bit of an open, ambiguous ending ;) also some fun facts before this fic starts: dustin's dad appears at will's funeral in s1 and there are several theories about him-- officially, he and dustin's mother are divorced in canon. i'll explore that in this fic. ST4 SPOILERS. this is set in season 4 ep 3 "the monster and the superhero" and follows vol 1 canon also sorry if this doesnt follow canon pretty well i mostly did it from memory cause the wiki still isnt fully updated 💀
disclaimer: this fic discusses the topic of an absent parent, please proceed with caution if this is hurtful to you. also warning for canon typical violence and cursing. english is not my first language so please let me know if there are any mistakes.
📼 NOW PLAYING: Don't You (Forget About Me) by Simple Mind
Your mother had always been slightly overbearing and fearful, but the murder of Chrissy Cunnigham you think might actually kill her. Or at least will force her to lock you in your bedroom and flush the key down the toilet.
“You can’t go anywhere without telling me,” your mother tells you over breakfast, worriedly overcooking her bacon. “You hear me? I don’t want you running around town without me knowing. Or better yet, don’t go anywhere at all!”
You glare at Dustin’s chair, where your brother is munching on toast and eggs, hoping your mother takes the hint. She does, and so she shakes her head and says, “Dustin’s different.”
“You’re kidding me, right?”
“Maybe this killer has a thing for pretty girls,” your mother shakes her head, shivering. “Chrissy Cunningham was such a nice and pretty girl, right your age.”
“You don’t know what that killer was thinking!” You groan. “Why can Dustin leave but I can’t?!”
“Dustin’s not an eighteen year old girl with an easily breakable neck.”
“He’s easier to man-handle!”
Dustin frowns, finally looking up from his breakfast. “I’m not!”
”Besides, do you even know where he was last night?” You ignore your brother’s protests, choosing to point at him as he scoffs in offense. “I bet you don’t, because he’s always sneaking out!”
“I’m not always sneaking out!”
“I try my best with you, Dusty,” she sighs, finally sitting down. “But your sister is right, you’re difficult to keep track of. You’re always running around, like those little legs have minds of their own.” She points the spoon she was using for her coffee at your face. “Don’t you throw that in my face, (Y/N).”
“Mom, you’re right,” you nod, sipping your orange juice, trying to appeal to her soft spot. “He is difficult to keep track off, and there’s a dangerous killer on the loose. How about I keep track of him? Make sure he’s not getting into any trouble, hm? I’ll make sure we’re always safe, together.”
Of course, you were planning on bolting as soon as you were out of your mom’s sight. You mom’s cat Tews meows somewhere across the room, as if he knows not to trust you. That damned furball.
“What the fuck? No!”
“Dusty! Language.”
“Mom,” Dustin says, exasperated. “I don’t need a babysitter. Much less a babysitter that’s also my annoying older sister.”
“No, you have Steve Harrington for that,” you mutter under your breath, and Dustin manages to kick you under the table. You glare at your little brother, then turn to address your mom once again. “I promise we’ll stay together. I know— no, I understand that it’s scary out there right now, but I can take care of myself. And Dustin. You have to trust me.”
“I trust you. It’s the murderer I don’t trust.”
“Mom—”
“Let me finish,” she stares pointedly at you, and you promptly shut up. “I don’t want you two sneaking out. But, it’ll make me feel better if the both of you are together.”
Dustin covers his face with his hands. “Shit.”
“Yes!” You squeal. You stick out your tongue at him, and he rolls his eyes. “Guess you’re stuck with me, Dusty.”
“Screw you.”
“Dusty, it’ll be fun. (Y/N), don’t taunt your little brother,” your mom scolds both of you into silence. “It’ll be like old times, won’t it? Aw, you two used to be thick as thieves back then.”
Dustin sighs, picking at his toast absent-mindedly. “Was there a murderer on the loose back then too?”
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After breakfast, you give Dustin a ride until you arrive in a neighborhood that is most definitely not Lucas Sinclair’s like he told you it would be. You turn to stare at your brother before you unlock the car’s door, confused.
“Where are we?”
Dustin looks at your shoes. “I told you. Lucas’s.”
“Okay, you might lie to me whenever you want, just not to my actual face, Dustin.” You roll your eyes, and he mirrors you. “Seriously, why did you make me come all the way down here?”
“Why do you care?”
“I know we’re doing this to get mom off our backs, but there is actually a killer on the loose,” you say. “So, excuse me if I’m also a little wary about dropping you off at unknown locations, or whatever.”
“Fine,” Dustin sighs. “I’m here to see Max and Steve.”
“Steve?”
“Harrington.”
You blink at him. “Fucking Steve Harrington?”
“See?” Dustin rolls his eyes again. “This is why I didn’t tell you! You are extremely uncool about Steve, you know.”
“I’m not!” You try not to dwell about how defensive you sound even to yourself. “I’m extremely cool about him. I’m extremely cool about the fact you hang out with that douchebag with stupid hair.”
“He’s not a douchebag! I don’t get why you hate him so much.”
Because you remember him and his friends making fun of you all throughout High School, his sneering and stupid stares. Like your brother, you’d never fit in— you never liked going to parties or drinking and you never made an effort to be liked by him and his group of popular dorks, instead you spent most of your days in the library, reading, hiding from Steve and his friends. Whatever honorable things Dustin saw in Steve Harrington you think he might have imagined them.
Now, in your last year of High School and with Steve becoming a social pariah, you don’t have to hide the fact that you still dislike Steve as much as you did back when he was still King Steve. Steve, for however much Dustin insists that he’s changed, upon first meeting you had tried to sweet talk you as if he didn’t know who you were. And you had barely kept it together enough to tell him to fuck off. Ever since then, you and Steve Harrington had hated each other’s guts. Your mutual dislike of each other is not lost on Dustin, who continues to mostly ignore it and tiptoe around it as best as he can.
“He’s not not a douchebag,” You murmur. “Why is he hanging out with two fourteen year olds during spring break? Isn’t the barf bag, like, supposed to be in college, going to frat parties, having a life of his own?”
Dustin doesn’t appreciate the way you talk about him, clearly, but he still replies, albeit unhappily. “He’s helping me with something.”
“With what?”
Before Dustin can respond, someone knocks on Dustin’s window. You jump, surprised, but it’s just Steve and Dustin’s friend redhead Max, looking bored and impatient. You groan and reach over Dustin’s seat to roll the window down.
“Do you mind?” You say to Steve. “We’re talking.”
“Oh, great, she’s here,” Steve says, stepping away from the door. 
"First of all, Harrington," You scoff, glaring at that mop of hair with all the rage you can muster. You ignore Dustin’s groan. "I have a name. Second of all, we are talking here—”
Steve rolls his eyes. "Yeah, yeah, whatever—"
"You did not just roll your eyes at me—”
Dustin sighs. "Here they go."
“I did not roll my eyes—”
“You absolutely did!”
“There was something in my eyes.”
“That something was lies!”
“Jesus fuck,” Steve finally throws his arms up in exasperation and turns to your brother, ignoring your insults. “You done talking to your lovely sister there, Henderson? We got a counselor to see.”
“What?” You frown at Dustin, irritation immediately melting into concern. “What’s he talking about?”
“Steve, shut your mouth,” Dustin glares at Steve, who shrugs and finally steps away from the car. “Nothing, (Y/N), seriously. See you later?”
“No.” You shake your head. “What does he mean a counselor? Are you seeing Ms Kelly?”
“Nothing’s wrong, I promise. It’s—” he looks like he’s scrambling to think of an excuse, then his eyes land on Max. Something flashes across her face and she speaks next.
“It’s for me.” she says, “Chrissy died in my neighborhood.”
“She’s kind of freaking out,” Dustin says, and when you finally turn to look at Max you realize how tense she is, her shoulders square, with her lips forming a straight line.
“Oh. That sucks. Hey, Max.”
“Hey,” she greets, awkwardly. It’s part of her charm, you think.
“See?” Dustin asks. “Can I go now?”
You nod, a little shaken up for some reason. Maybe Chrissy’s murder still made you feel slightly ill, and the mention of it made you feel even worse. You couldn’t imagine what Max might be going through. It didn’t help that they had found another body this morning, either. 
“Ye— yeah. Sorry. I hope everything’s alright, Max.”
“Yeah,” she nods.
Dustin nods to the door. “Can you unlock the car, then?”
You wordlessly comply, and as your little brother steps out of your mom’s blue Ford Cortina, you talk to Max once again. “Ms Kelly is great help. I’m sure she’ll make you feel better. She really helped me this year, you know, she’s a great listener.”
“Yeah, I know,” Max says. “I’ve been thinking about seeing her for a while, a—actually. I’ve heard she’s well… you know… fine, or whatever.”
“Hey, there’s no shame in that,” you shrug. “Lots of people go to see Ms Kelly… Actually, now that you mention it, Fred Benson, the guy they found this morning, was seeing Ms Kelly too. And Chrissy Cunningham.”
Dustin pauses before closing the car door. “What do you mean?”
You blink, slightly confused as to why you’d even bring it up. “I’ve seen them in Ms Kelly’s office before. I’m not sure why I’m even mentioning it, sorry.”
“No, no, (Y/N), that’s…” Dustin says, then doesn’t finish. “You’ve been seeing Ms Kelly too?”
“Yeah,” you nod, a little ashamed. You think about telling Dustin about everything that’s been going on, the nightmares, the guilt— but then you glance at his friends looking expectantly at him and cower. So you don’t continue.
It’s Steve who breaks the silence. “Henderson, chop chop, let’s go.”
“I’ll see you at home?” Dustin says, a little softer.
“Yeah, yeah. I was gonna go to Dinah’s near Ave Park, but do you think you’ll need a ride later?”
“Steve’s got his car,” he says. “Don’t wait up, okay?”
You nod, watching him leave.
📼📼📼📼📼📼📼📼📼
It’s around eight PM, and Dinah is painting her toenails as you skim through one of her books, the soft hum of the TV in the background, entering through the open bedroom door. Her parents are watching the news, the news anchors are urging people to stay home and to lock their doors to be safe of this new serial killer.
Dinah’s house is your usual hangout spot beside your own. You don’t have many other friends, and there’s only so many times you can force Dustin to watch The Breakfast Club before he’s fighting you for the remote.
“It was all Matty could talk about,” Dinah continues to rant. “I can’t stand this murder talk any longer! I can only hear about Chrissy Cunningham’s missing eyeballs so many times, (Y/N), it’s way too fucking gruesome, but it’s all everyone in this town seems to care about.”
“It’s a pretty pressing issue,” when Dinah glares, you shrug. “I’m just saying! You know I agree with you. I don’t want to hear about it anymore.”
“Chrissy was always so nice, wasn’t she?” Dinah shakes her head, putting her nail polish back in her nightstand, then wraps her arms around her legs, hugging herself. “And Fred had a future in front of him. It’s so unfair. They had a family that loved them.”
“Dinah, I really don’t wanna talk about it,” you say, feeling yourself shiver. You don’t want to think about poor Fred or Chrissy, or the families mourning them. You try to focus on the book in your hands, but the words start blurring together, becoming harder and harder to read. 
You blink, confused, then realize Dinah is still talking.
“It’s the truth, isn’t it? I think about their dads too. Chrissy’s dad was crying so much at her wake. Do you think your dad would ever cry for you like that?”
You finally snap to look back at your friend. She’s staring at you like you’re small, like an insect she could stomp on. You’ve never seen her black eyes seem so soulless, so empty.
“Maybe they’ll be tears of joy, don’t you think? After all, weren’t you the one who made him walk away?” She tilts her head to the side, a sneer forming in her lips. “They could be a family without you.”
There’s something wrong in Dinah’s eyes. There’s something wrong about all of this, but you can’t point to what, where are you, when, why…what…?
When you blink, Dinah’s eyes look normal again. 
“(Y/N),” She asks, frowning. “Are you there?”
You shake your head. What the fuck was all that? 
“What?”
“You were staring at me like you weren’t all here,” she explains, grimacing. “Where did you go just now?”
“Sorry…” When you speak you feel a dull ache around your temple, and you lift a hand to rest against it, trying to soothe the pain aimlessly. “I think I need some painkillers or something, my head’s killing me.”
“Again?” 
“Yeah,” even before spring break you had confided in your friend about the headaches and the nightmares— you never told her why, but she at least knew you were seeing Ms Kelly. 
Dinah stands up, careful not to stain the carpet with her fresh black nail polish. “I’ll ask my dad for some Tylenol. Stay here, I’ll be back in a sec.”
Before Dinah is out the door she’s interrupted by the doorbell, which rings once, twice, three times and more. Dinah frowns, as her dad yells I’m coming, Jesus!
“Someone’s impatient…” you murmur, hand still resting on your temple.
“Hey,” Dinah, who has always had great hearing, says. “I think it’s your brother.”
You frown, and when Dinah’s father confirms it’s your brother by yelling out that It’s little Henderson!, you and Dinah head downstairs to find a heavy breathing Dustin, Max, Lucas and even Steve Harrington, looking as if they just ran a marathon.
Dustin’s eyes land on you. “(Y/N)!”
“Dustin?” you say, “What are you doing here? You need a ride ho—?”
Dustin runs to hug you by the waist, almost knocking the air out of you.
“Are you okay? Do you have a headache? Is your nose bleeding? Do you feel—?”
“Woah, Dustin,” you don’t know what to do with your hands— you and Dustin hadn’t hugged since he turned twelve and he and you both deemed it lame. “What’s going on? Did something happen?”
Dustin finally lets go of your waist to grab you by the face and inspect it properly. He roughly pulls your face down and tries to pull up your nose to look at your nostrils. “No nosebleed yet?”
Steve tries to stop him. “Dustin, buddy—”
Lucas adds a sustancial, “Dude.”
“Dustin!” you push his hands off your face, feeling your cheeks heat up when you notice everyone looking at you. “What the hell are you doing?”
Your brother opens his mouth to speak, but then seems to notice Dinah behind you and seems to think better of it. “We need to talk,” he says instead, “Like, right now.”
“Right now?” You ask. “I already told Dinah’s mom I’m staying for dinner. Dustin, what the hell is going on with you?”
Dinah clears her throat. “I’m… just gonna go get that Tylenol.”
“Tylenol?” Dustin asks when she walks away. “What for?”
“I have a headache.”
“Shit,” Max says, still by the door frame with Lucas and Steve.
“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” Dustin curses, deep in thought. “It’s already started.”
“What?” You ask as Dustin starts pacing back and forth.
“We need to find out how to stop this right fucking now,” Dustin starts pacing back and forth. “Think, everyone.”
“Maybe Robin and Nancy found something in the library,” Steve offers.
“Yeah,” Lucas nods. “C’mon, man. Let’s go find them.”
“Okay, yeah. Okay, okay.” Dustin calms himself down, manages to stop his pacing. “Let’s go wait for them at the Wheeler’s. (Y/N), let’s go.”
You throw your hands up in disbelief.  “Can someone tell me what the hell is going on?”
“(Y/N),” Dustin says, his voice unfaltering. Dustin is never serious about much, and this renders you speechless. “I need you to listen to me for once in your goddamn life, okay? We need to go. Now.”
“Okay, Jesus,” you say finally. “Dinah’s mom is making Lasagna so this better be worth it, Dustin.”
📼📼📼📼📼📼📼📼📼
On the way to Nancy Wheeler’s house, you learn two things: One, Dustin knows where a serial killer might be hiding, and two, your brother thinks you’re cursed and are going to die in, give or take, twenty four hours.
You glare at Steve Harrington in the rearview mirror. “What the fuck have you been giving him?”
“I’m serious!” Dustin yells. “I knew you wouldn’t fucking believe me.”
“I’m sorry,” you say, because he looks genuinely frustrated, but a second dimension and a supervillain? Does your brother think you’re stupid? Just how many movies has he been watching? “I just think D&D might actually be getting to your head, Dustin. There’s no way what you just told me is real.”
“Lucas and Max know it’s real too!”
Both of them nod furiously.
“Are the other two fourteen year olds your only source?”
“Steve too!”
Steve winks at you through the rearview mirror.
“Even worse,” you say.
“Listen,” Lucas tries to reason when Dustin groans in frustration, cursing under his breath at you. “I know this sounds absolutely crazy, I wouldn’t believe it either. But I promise you it’s all true, and if we don’t do something soon about it you’ll end up like Chrissy and Fred.”
An involuntary chill runs down your spine every time you think about them. 
“Guys,” you say, slowly, “I know things are scary right now, but I’m sure there’s a logical explanation for the murders besides a demon supervillain.”
“I didn’t believe it at first either,” Max shakes her head. “Not until I saw it with my own eyes.”
“Didn’t Ms Kelly’s file say the others who were cursed were also having hallucinations?” Steve asks the kids, looking for a place to park. “So, have you gotten any weird visions lately?”
Hallucinations? You think back, but can’t seem to pinpoint anything similar to that. Except tonight at Dinah’s place, before Dustin and the rest had rung the doorbell. Suddenly you grow a little paler, uncomfortable at the memory being brought back. That had been weird, but you were exhausted and knowing a serial killer, Eddie Munson, who apparently your brother knew, was out there still was making you restless.
“I wouldn’t really call them visions,” you murmur.
“Shit,” Dustin breathes, looking at you with wide eyes. “It’s spreading faster.”
“Listen, Dustin, I may be going through some shit lately, but I promise you I’m okay. I just need some painkillers for my head, seriously.”
“(Y/N)!” Your brother takes you by the shoulders and shakes you. “Your life is in imminent danger! You don’t need painkillers!”
“I do if you keep shaking me like a ragdoll!”
“Listen,” Lucas says, grabbing Dustin and prying him off you despite his protests. “Just stay with us tonight, okay? We’ll sleep at the Wheeler’s and it’ll make Dustin feel better, right? We’re all tired.”
“Dude—”
Lucas cuts Dustin off and whispers, “We’ll wait for what Nancy and Robin have to say and then figure out how to convince her later, yeah?”
Dustin sighs. “This was so much easier when El had her powers.”
“So yeah? You’ll stay the night?” Lucas asks, hopeful.
You see all three of the kids staring at you and cave in. “Yeah, yeah. Okay.” You say, at the same time Steve parks right in front of the Wheeler residence. Before you can even step out of the car another car pulls over by the garage and Nancy Wheeler and another girl you don’t know step out of it.
“Nance, Robin!” Steve exclaims as he stops the car and steps out. “Had fun at the library? I sure didn’t.”
“It went well, I think—”
“We have a situation,” Dustin is quick to interrupt, reaching over your space and popping his head out from the open window. “It’s my sister. We think Vecna cursed her.”
“Whatever that means,” you mumble, getting out of the car, Dustin trailing behind you and slamming the door shut.
“She doesn’t believe us,” Max explains.
“Well, I personally would be more weirded out if she did,” The girl you don’t know shrugs a little. You recognize her now— she worked with Steve at Scoops Ahoy last summer before the fire at Starcourt, and now works at Family Video. You’ve spoken a bit with her before.
“She’s been having visions, headaches, nosebleeds,” Dustin continues, “like Fred and Chrissy were, according to Ms Kelly’s files. I think Vecna is preying on vulnerable people, people dealing with...” he looks at you for a second, then back at the girls, settling on saying: “Some shit.”
“We found some articles about Victor Creel at the library,” Nancy says, then motions at the house with her chin. “Let’s talk inside.”
📼📼📼📼📼📼📼📼📼
Nancy and Robin turn out to be as crazy as the rest of them— they tell the story of Victor Creel, infamous in Hawkins for murdering his entire family, and about how he was supposedly possesed by the devil according to some conspiracy newspaper. They want to talk to Victor, but the problem is that he’s now a patient at Pennhurst Mental Hospital and completely unreachable to the public. They plan to go first thing in the morning and the rest of the group seems to agree. 
“We’ll need a disguise,” is Nancy’s big plan.
You never quite get that Tylenol, because the strongest thing Ms Wheeler has is green tea. You think everyone’s lost their goddamned minds.
“So what do you want me to do while all of you plan?” You ask, sitting on the couch. Nancy and Robin leave to Nancy’s room. Max and Lucas are by the desk in the corner speaking softly, Dustin is pacing around the room impatiently as he usually does when he’s this restless, while Steve is sitting on the couch beside you, playing with Dustin’s (or is it Mike’s?) walkie-talkie. “Am I allowed to eat something? Because I’m starving.”
Dustin snatches the walkie-talkie from Steve’s hand. “You’re gonna break that.”
Dustin’s, then.
“We don’t know yet,” Lucas says, walking over to where you are, holding Max’s hand gently. “We’re hoping the girls find out something from Victor. In the meantime…”
“You can eat,” Steve concludes. “... Right?”
“Right,” Max nods.
“We have to do something soon,” Dustin’s the most anxious you’ve ever seen him, even before you took him to see The Empire Strikes Back. “We don’t know how much time you even have once the visions and all the hallucinations start. We said twenty four hours but we can’t be sure.”
“If it helps, they started today. At Dinah’s.”
“You snapped out of it, right?” When you nod, Steve shrugs. “Henderson, I think we have time to order some pizza, at least.”
“And a movie?” You ask, finally relaxing into the couch. You toss away your shoes and hug them to your chest. “Does Mike have The Breakfast Club somewhere around here?”
“Not that movie again,” Dustin groans.
You throw a pillow at your brother, who manages to dodge it easily. “It’s a great movie!”
“It lost its charm after the thirteen time you forced me to watch it with you.”
“The Breakfast Club?” Steve asks aloud. “(Y/N) Henderson is obsessed with The Breakfast Club? Is that why Dustin is always renting it at Family Video?”
Dustin huffs, offended. “Why else would I want to rent that stupid movie?”
“Molly Ringwald,” Steve answers, at the same time you yell out, “It’s not stupid!”
When Nancy comes downstairs she informs you that sadly no, she doesn’t have The Breakfast Club, but that she should. She does have the soundtrack, however, and you think about asking to borrow it tomorrow before she goes back upstairs to order a pizza.
A while later it’s almost midnight, everyone around you is tired, except maybe for Dustin, but the majority wins and you all decide getting some sleep is the best option. You agree, but know that you’re probably not getting any sleep tonight, either; you’ve been having nightmares every night for the past few days and you don’t believe today is going to be any different.
When the lights go off and everyone is already starting to doze off, Dustin is quick to turn his flashlight on.
“Dude! Turn that off!” Steve moans, launching a pillow straight into his face. Dustin doesn’t dodge this one this time, much to Robin and Steve’s satisfaction, who chuckle lightly.
“C’mon, Dustin, what the hell?” Lucas groans.
“Shut up! I’m trying to see if I can find something else in Ms Kelly’s files!”
“Dude,” Max sighs, “you’ve read them each four times already.” 
“You won’t be able to find anything if you’re exhausted,” Nancy tries more softly. “Just try to sleep for a bit, okay?”
“Dustin, c’mon,” you reach for his hand— it’s a bit uncomfortable from your position on the couch and his on the floor, but you do it anyway. That seems to soothe him slightly, to see you still offering comfort, like you’re still yourself. He manages a weak nod, and he squeezes your hand slightly before turning the flashlight off.
After a few minutes, Dustin starts snoring loudly. Steve, who you’re unfortunately stuck sharing the couch with, chuckles.
“He’s a good kid,” he says.
“Yeah,” you can’t help but agree. You wouldn’t trade your dork brother for anything. “He’s great. When he was little, he used to wet his bed all time after watching scary movies with me, and he’d wake me up to change his sheets so my dad wouldn’t yell at him for ruining them.”
“Steve raises a silent eyebrow at you, sounding amused. “And you actually did that?”
“I forced him to watch them. I felt bad,” you smile at the memory. “He would offer to wash the dishes for me, though.”
“Your moral compass is stronger than mine,” he hums.
“You know, he…” you start, unsure if Dustin would be upset if you shared this, then decide it’s not as embarrassing as telling him he used to wet his bed, and continue, “he really admires you. God knows why, Harrington, but he worships the ground you walk on.”
“Henderson?” He asks, a little in disbelief. “I don’t know—”
“I’m serious, Harrington. He loves you,” You hoped you didn’t sound jealous. There had been a time where you thought Steve was almost a replacement for you as an older sibling, but as time went on you realized how important Steve was to him. 
“Well. I’m pretty loveable.”
You roll your eyes. “Sure.”
“He’s pretty loveable, too,” Steve says after a few beats of silence, more softly now. “I don’t have any siblings, did you know that? So it’s… uhm, really cool to have him around. Even if he’s kind of a little shit sometimes.”
“Such a little shit,” you agree.
The rest of the group seems to be asleep already, or maybe they don’t care about the conversation enough to join you. Steve starts telling you about the time Dustin burrowed his hair gel and almost set fire to his bathroom, and you have to cover your mouth to stifle your giggles.
It’s not long before you start to feel abnormally cold, and can’t keep your body from trembling. Steve’s gentle voice is gone. The room is dark around you, and realizing that you must’ve fallen asleep while talking with Steve at some point, you hug yourself trying to seek some warmth. You try to grab a blanket from somewhere. Jesus, it’s spring for fuck’s sake, it shouldn’t be this cold. But you realize that despite the darkness you can see, and when you look up at the ceiling, you find a grandfather clock that most definitely doesn’t belong in the Wheeler’s basement.
“(Y/N).”
The voice calling your name is unfamiliar and it makes you feel ill almost immediately, like your stomach has turned into nothing but knots. You try to speak, to ask who it is, but nothing comes out, you can barely even breathe.
“Do you think you could ever keep living with this guilt?” The voice asks, somehow you feel as if the voice is right behind you, whispering into your ear. It’s like nails scraping against chalkboard in your eardrums. “Knowing what you did to your family?”
You want to turn around and find the voice, but you can’t, you can’t, you can’t. The clock is ticking, haunting you, calling for you. You want nothing but to run away from it, but you can’t move— you’re glued in place somehow, maybe in fear, you can’t tell. Everything is uncertain, except for the clock. The clock, you know, it’s real. 
It’s counting down. You know what it’s trying to tell you. It’s coming for you and you can’t escape it. It’s only a matter of time now.
“Soon, (Y/N)...” It whispers. “Soon, I’ll come for you, and no one will be able to help you, (Y/N)... (Y/N). (Y/N)!”
You open your eyes with a gasp to find Steve’s arms around your shoulders, shaking you slightly. His eyes are wide, a little frightened. When you look around you find Lucas and Max draped all over a chair, their chests rising slowly, asleep. Dustin is in a sleeping bag on the floor, near Robin and Nancy, hugging each other tightly in their sleep. Steve is the only one awake.
“Shit,” you say, placing your hand in your heart. “Did I wake you?”
“We were talking and then you just went somewhere,” he says. “You don’t remember?”
You suddenly feel very cold. “I thought I was sleeping. I saw…” You think about telling Steve, but it seems pointless now, almost. What would you tell him? You saw a clock? “I think it was one of those hallucinations you guys keep talking about. You’re really freaking me the hell out, you know.”
“Fuck, I think Dustin’s right,” he says.
“About me being cursed by a being from another dimension? Are you kidding?”
Steve does manage to look apologetic. “I know it sounds bonkers, but that’s because it is. I’ve seen it.”
“What? This other dimension?” You were starting to think Dustin and his nanny were just trying to play an extremely elaborate joke on you.
“The Upside Down, but no,” he shakes his head, and then his eyes land somewhere around the room, focusing on one of Mike’s many posters. “The monsters.”
“Vecna?” 
“Others,” he says, then murmurs, “Haven’t had the pleasure just yet.”
“The demoger…? What was it?”
“Demogorgon, yeah,” he grumbles. “The Mind flayer too. It’s all real. I wish Will and Eleven were here to actually explain this stuff; they are the ones who actually know their stuff about this.”
You have never seen Steve actually sound so… serious, before. It’s all actually starting to freak you out, you decide, and you aren’t sure if you actually want to find out if it’s all actually real or not. You stay silent for a few moments, sleep escaping you. You figure Steve’s fallen asleep until his voice startles you again.
“You okay there, Henderson?”
No, you want to say. You can’t shake the feeling that the voice is watching you, waiting to catch you by surprise. “Yeah,” you mumble, sleepless, scared.
Steve doesn’t seem to buy your answer however, because you feel his body shifting near your side of the couch, sitting right beside you. When you give him a look (he’s so close he can actually make it out) he clicks his tongue.
“See, I don’t really believe you, Henderson. So, I’m gonna stay near you, just in case you get another vision. Or if you want to hold my hand.”
“Screw you, Steve,” You glare, turning to the other side so that your view is Harrington-less. If you do feel better with him beside you, that’s between you and maybe Vecna, if he’s actually inside your head.
In the morning, when you wake up and Nancy and Robin are both gone (probably visiting a murderer in a mental hospital) and Steve is tangled up beside you, you decide you’ve had enough. 
“So we’re just gonna wait around to see what happens?” Dustin argues, as Lucas and Max try to reason with him.
“What else can we do?” Lucas asks, frustrated.
“Literally anything else, dude! My sister might die!”
“Okay, Dustin, you need to stop and we need to go home, now,” you tell him, looking around the basement for your jacket.
“No!” he points at you. “You’re not going anywhere until we know what to do.”
“Dustin. I’m four years older than you,” you glare, placing your hands on your hips. “I’m the older sibling. I’ve entertained this enough already, but I left mom’s car at Dinah’s and we need to go get it and then get our asses home before mom loses her shit.”
“(Y/N)! Listen to me!”
“No, Dustin!” You finally snap, taking Dustin’s walkie-talkie from his hand and shoving it into your bag despite his protests. “I’ve had enough about monsters and other dimensions and whatever other nonsense Eddie Munson has been feeding you! We’re going home, now!”
“I can’t believe I’m actually trying to help you!” Dustin screams, “You suck!”
“Well, you’re stuck with me!”
“I wish I wasn’t,” he says, his eyes cold. “I wish you weren’t my sister.”
The chills return like a slap across your face, making you stumble backwards slightly. The room around you turns dark immediately, the only person left is Dustin in front of you. But it’s not him, it can’t be, his eyes have never looked this lifeless.
“You took his chance away, didn’t you?” The unfamiliar, bone chilling voice returns. “His chance of having a real family, or at least a father figure. He’s right in wishing you weren’t his sister. He deserves someone better.”
Again you want to scream, but it’s like your mouth is taped shut. Around you Mike Wheeler’s basement seems to fade away into blue, and suddenly you’re standing on your front porch, watching your dad walk away. You’re saying the hardness around your eyes, your lips drawn into a tight line. You don’t look like yourself; you look older, and tired, and disappointed, more like a woman than the girl you were when this happened, the girl you must’ve been.
“Don’t come back again,” you tell your father’s retreating form. But your voice is distorted, so far away. 
“How many times has Dustin needed his father?” The voice asks. When you blink you’re somewhere else; not Mike’s basement, not your home. There’s splinters of wood scattered by your feet, like a house just destroyed. Everywhere around you is red, like blood, like the blood in those horror movies you forced Dustin to watch because he made them less scary when he squealed. “Are you proud you broke up your family?”
“I was a kid,” you manage to say, and only now you realize you’ve been crying all along, the salty tears wetting your dry lips. “I didn’t want Dustin to know what he did. I would take it back if I knew he wouldn’t actually come back.”
“But you did it anyway. You did.”
I did, I did, I did, you think, over and over. You close your eyes, hard, ignoring how it almost hurts.
“You miss him too, don’t you? Despite everything. You’re sadder about the fact that he left you, too. He left his daughter behind.”
“Who are you?” You hiss out, through your anguish.
“I’m part of you, (Y/N). Whether you want to or not.”
You’re not alone. When you open your eyes you see him — a monster, vicious even in looks, like someone slowly peeled away his skin, and all that was left of him was muscle and meat, not even blood. Vecna. Around you there are two different bloody columns, and you’re quick to notice they’re holding Chrissy and Fred’s bodies, like morbid museum displays, tokens. He was right, Dustin was telling the truth about everything, and now you were going to die because you didn’t listen to him.
“No,” you want to say, you want to scream. But you’re not strong enough, you can’t—
Hey, hey, hey, hey
You blink through your tears. You manage to recognize that melody in this unfamiliar place. You want to run towards it, but you’re not sure your legs can even respond to your commands right now.
Vecna seems to think something’s wrong, too, because as the song progresses he grows more impatient. “You think you can escape like this?”
Tell me your troubles and doubts
Giving everything inside and out and
Love's strange, so real in the dark
Think of the tender things that we were working on
His hands— his claws are stroking your cheeks, an aborted tender gesture, like he’s trying to soothe his prey before going for the kill. It’s over, you think, there’s nothing but this certain death. But then; you think of the hundreds of times you forced Dustin to watch this movie with you; of you both playing with Tews until he scratches one of you in annoyance; driving Mike, Lucas, Dustin and Will to the movies; getting ice cream at Scoops Ahoy and guggling when Steve gets rejected once again; putting Dustin’s hair in braids and practicong makeup on him when he was younger; asking Will Byers what he was sketching at the park; Dustin and you laughing during dinner because of some stupid joke. You think about last night, sleeping beside Steve, and the way he made you laugh.
Don't you, forget about me
Don't, don't, don't, don't
Don't you, forget about me
You can’t give up. You can’t leave Dustin.
Somehow you manage to pull Vecna off you with a shove, and you run. You run, you run as fast as your legs let you, as your jeans stain with what looks like blood, as Vecna screams at you. You run like you've never run before.
And then you gasp and you’re falling.
“Shit, fuck, shit!” Someone’s arms are around you, and it takes you a second to calm down to realize it’s Steve, and that you’re in Mike Wheeler’s basement and you’re alive, somehow.
“Holy fucking shit,” Max is saying, but you can barely hear her over the rapid beating of your own heart— erratic, but unquestionably alive. 
“God, god, (Y/N),” Dustin’s voice stands out from the others, and when you look at him there are tears streaming down his eyes, and you can barely process anything before you’re trying to reach for him despite feeling like you’re not even in your own body.
“I’m okay,” you tell him, wrapping your arms around his shoulders, Steve letting go of yours. “I’m okay, I’m okay.”
“I thought you were gonna die,” he whimpers.
“I’m here,” you breathe out. “Oh my God, I’m here thanks to you.”
You realize that the song is still playing, only to notice the headphones in your ears. You see your scattered bag around the room, and the walkie-talkie that Dustin must’ve been looking for already on the floor. Don’t You (Forget About Me) slowly fades to an end before the next song on the soundtrack starts.
“I’m sorry,” Dustin says into your shirt. “I’m sorry I didn’t notice you were going through something, I should’ve noticed. I’m sorry.”
“It’s not your fault.” You shake your head, holding your little brother even closer. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. And I’m sorry I didn’t believe you. Fuck, Dustin, I’m so sorry.”
You stay like that for a moment, hugging Dustin on the carpet, Max and Lucas hovering near, and Steve’s hand on your shoulder, grounding you.
📼📼📼📼📼📼📼📼📼
When you explain to Nancy what happened and what you saw once she comes back from Pennhurst she’s quick to pinpoint the house you saw when you met Vecna as Victor Creel’s house. All of you grab your things and head to that location. You try to not feel so dreadful, and Dustin forcing you to listen to Don’t You the entire car ride and holding onto your jacket sleeve helps soothe your nerves, at least a little bit.
But Victor Creel’s house is something out of a horror story, dark and abandoned as it is, and the only light source in the house seems to be the hole Robin made when she smashed the window.
“Let’s split up,” Nancy offers, and everyone seems to comply much to your dismay.
Lucas and Max leave to investigate with Dustin (reluctantly parting from your side) trailing off behind them, Nancy and Robin head upstairs and you and Steve are stuck together and instructed to stay downstairs by Nancy, the only thing illuminating your way being your flashlights.
You wander through hallways, staring at ruined wallpaper and dusty portraits. Victor and his family seemed so happy in their pictures, and you wonder why nobody, family or not, ever came to look for their things. The house seemed frozen in time, like one day the family had decided to get up and leave everything behind, the house nothing more than ghosts.
“I hate this place,” you comment, trying to hug yourself tightly to keep the cold at bay. “Thinking that people died here is…”
“Horrible,” Steve finishes for you. “Yeah… Fuck this place, man.”
When you turn to a corner, you freeze in place.
“Steve.”
“Yeah?”
“You’re seeing this, right?” You point at a clock with your flashlight, unmoving. It’s the same clock from your visions, the one you saw before meeting Vecna.
“Yeah,” Steve frowns. “Real old. Why?”
“I saw it,” you try to explain through the rapid beating of your own heart. “In my visions, I mean. This clock was in them— well, the second one, mostly. In the Wheeler’s basement last night.”
“Shit…” Eloquent as ever, Steve Harrington. “Has to mean something, right?”
“If anything it proves Nancy and Robin were right. It all started here.” You finally force yourself to look away and continue forward, ignoring the way you feel your skin crawling. You hold up your cassette before re-starting the song.  “What would happen if I suddenly got tired of this song? Will it no longer work? Does this mean Vecna will… come back for me?”
“Listen, I— I’m not a genius at this like your brother, or like Nancy, or even Robin,” Steve admits, very honestly. “But I promise we’ll find a way, even if that happens. Besides, Dustin told us how much you love this song. Seems kinda impossible you’ll ever get tired of it if you listen to it every day. And listen, I gotta ask. Breakfast club?”
“What?” You feel heat rise up to your cheeks, embarrassed. You start walking away from the clock, trying to get rid of the chills that had gotten ahold of you just a few moments before. “It’s a great movie.”
“Yeah, absolutely,” Steve says, and even though you can’t really see him in the dark, you can hear his smirk, picture his smile. He’s teasing, and you’re kind of glad for it. It helps. “I just didn’t think it would be your thing, is all.”
You raise an eyebrow. “Oh? What’s my thing then?”
“I don’t know. You seem like a Dune fan, maybe.” He wonders out loud, your flashlight lighting the way. 
“I do like the book.”
“See?” Steve points at his temple. “I knew it.”
“I think working at Family Video is finally getting to you.”
“I’m good at reading people,” he says, and you raise another silent eyebrow at him. He continues, “I’d always thought of you as a little brainiac, and that you’d liked movies that were kinda difficult. You were always reading in school. I didn’t think you’d like teen flicks and Hughes.”
“Dune is not difficult. And maybe you don’t really know me enough to know what my thing is,” you shrug. “... Or maybe every girl is a little bit in love with Judd Nelson.”
“Yeah,” Steve actually laughs. “Can’t beat that hair.”
And you can’t help yourself, you smirk. You think you might actually be dreaming, or maybe this curse made Steve seem more tolerable than usual. “You give him a good run for his money.”
“We’re still talking about hair here, right?”
Now you point your flashlight at Steve and elbow him.
“I’m just asking!”
“It was a stupid question. And just so you know, there’s nothing wrong about liking teen flicks,” you say, continuing to walk and not waiting to see if Steve follows. “Pretty in Pink is my new favorite movie and my GPA is still 3.5.”
“Oh wow. Pretty in Pink?” He whistles. “You have a soft spot for Molly Ringwald.”
“Who doesn’t?”
He hums in response.
You stay like that for a moment, walking through dusty hallways and trying to avoid spider webs. Even with the flashlights the place looks abandoned and lonely, and there’s a coldness running down your spine that you can’t shake off no matter how much you try. You focus on trying to catch the sound of Steve’s breathing to somehow ground yourself to reality. It feels like ever since meeting Vecna your grip on reality slowly fades away, like someone is unraveling the carpet from underneath you, trying to catch you by surprise. Like you’re falling into an abyss of darkness and you can’t hold onto anything— because nothing around you is truly real. And so you bite your lip to keep yourself from reaching out to Steve and holding on. You can’t think of a moment you’ve felt as uncertain as you do now; but Steve’s teasing and your bickering back and forth is normal, makes you feel like you’re not actually in immediate danger. You figure if there’s a different dimension called the Upside Down, then you can most definitely forgive Steve Harrington for being a jerk in High School. He has more than proven himself to you. 
Because the truth is that maybe Vecna will win. Maybe you will never beat this curse. And you’ll end up like Chrissy Cunningham, like Fred Benson, like Patrick McKinney; just dead bodies along the trail.
“Hey, Steve,” you call, slowing down to walk beside him. He turns to look at you, but you can’t bring yourself to look at him. “Uhm. If something… like, happened to me—”
“Woah, woah, wait,” Steve shakes his head. “Nothing will. We beat the curse, remember? With the song?”
“Yeah, but we didn’t actually beat it, did we?” Now you do turn to look at him, and his big eyes almost render you speechless. You don’t know what to call the look on his eyes, but it makes you want to look away from him; makes you want to run. “Listen, Steve, I just— I’m sorry.”
“Don’t apologize,” he says, quickly. You think he’s noticed how embarrassed you feel, and you look away, embarrassed. “You’re just scared shitless like the rest of us.”
“It’s not that,” you shake your head. “I’m sorry for being such a jerk around you and picking fights with you. You’ve— you’ve been there for Dustin when I wasn’t, and I guess you’re not actually a bad guy. So… I’m sorry I judged you. And thank you, I guess. For being there for Dustin. And… me.”
Steve doesn’t say anything for a second. You’re still looking anywhere but him, now focusing your eyes on a spider in one of the many spider webs in front of you. You feel embarrassed and stupid, but a little bit better. You know you’re doing the right thing by apologizing— you know Steve now, better than you’ve ever thought you would. You finally dare to take one look at him and his eyes are still on you, and when your eyes lock, he smiles softly.
“You’re apologizing for that?” Steve asks, and when you nod matter of factly, he tilts his head to the side. “Huh. Never thought I’d see the day Henderson’s sister apologized to me.”
“Don’t let it get to your head, Harrington,” you roll your eyes, but can’t help the small smile forming on your lips. “I’m only doing this because I might die.”
Steve chuckles, nodding. “Fair enough,” he says. “For what it’s worth, I’m sorry too, Henderson. To be honest, I think I kind of deserved it. I was an asshole in High School, so… yeah. I, uh, I’m sorry it took me getting kicked off the clique to realize you’re not half bad.”
“Well,” Now it’s your turn to laugh. “It took me almost dying to realize you’re not half bad either. I think we’re even.”
Steve stops in his tracks, making you stop, too, a little confused. You turn to look at him, and you don’t think you’ve ever seen him look quite so… earnest, maybe. You can’t name the look on his face, but you can’t look away, can’t seem to be able to keep walking. You’re frozen in place.
“You’re not gonna die, Henderson,” he says, determined. “I won’t let you.”
Your mouth goes dry. All you can do in response is nod. You want to say something, but the words escape you, and so you stare at each other for a few seconds, neither of you saying anything. You wonder if Steve can hear the rapid beating of your heart, if he can make out the way your eyes drop to his lips for a slow second despite the darkness around you both.
Then you hear Dustin yell out, “Guys!” and the moment fades away.
📼📼📼📼📼📼📼📼📼
Finding Eddie at Skull Rock seems to be harder than it should be, and once you find him you’re made to follow Dustin’s apparently broken compass. You feel like you’re wandering through the desert, with no clear path in mind. Dustin is at the front, with Lucas and Max following closely behind, Eddie (who you now have a hard time believing would ever be able to kill anyone), Robin and Nancy in front of you and Steve.
You find yourself time and time again choosing to spend more time with Steve, that he seems to be the one able to actually make you feel grounded, like you’re not gonna die in the next three seconds. You feel like yourself around him; but different. Steve is different. This whole experience is making you rethink everything you’ve ever known.
You can’t help but wonder in the silence about Dustin and the others, guiding the rest of you through the night time in the forest. Despite all of them being younger than you, they don’t seem to need your help, especially Dustin, who you think is completely in his element leading the way.
After a while of walking in silence, Dustin announces that the compass seems to be going even crazier. At this, Robin pries it off his hands to confirm that it’s true. Eddie and Dustin argue for a second about following the compass and make another Lord of the Rings reference that has you smiling.
“He’s not half bad,” you comment. “Eddie, I mean.”
“I still don’t know what the hell Modor is,” Steve mumbles under his breath.
You don’t try to explain Lord of The Rings to him— you don’t think there’s even enough time. But, maybe one day, when Hawkins isn’t in imminent danger and Steve still wants to hang out with your uncool self for whatever reason.
“What do you think we’ll find wherever this stupid compass is taking us?” You ask him, trying to avoid accidentally stepping on some poison ivy. Just your luck to get cursed and also poisoned on the same week. “You know more about this than me.”
“I’m actually more like, the, uhm, action guy of the group.”
“So you’re telling me you don’t know where we’re going,” You conclude.
Steve nods. “No damn clue, Henderson.”
“Great,” you chuckle lightly. 
“All I know is that it’s probably a portal Vecna opened after killing someone.”
“A portal. To the upside down?” When Steve nods in confirmation, you sigh. “I still can’t get used to how crazy this is.”
“The third time you do this you kind of just start going with the flow of things,” Steve admits. “Russian spies, MK-Ultra, different dimensions, monsters— it all just kind of starts to sound like background noise.”
“Dustin and the kids seem to really know about all of this.”
“They do,” Steve nods. “Dustin is like, their leader. Our leader, I guess.”
“My little brother… fighting communists and monsters.” You shake your head. “Yeah, I don’t think I’ll ever get used to that. How did Nancy? With you and Mike?”
Steve stops for a second to frown at you. “With me?”
“You know, with Nancy and you dating.”
“Me and Nancy?” he asks, then shakes his head. “No, me and Nance just… we go way back, but she’s with Jonathan. That ship sailed a long time ago. We’re friends now. Besides, she’s the one killing more monsters than me.”
“Oh.”
There’s no way to ignore the way your heart skips a beat at this, or the hopeful glint in Steve’s eyes. The rest of the woods disappear and it’s only you and Steve and your rapidly beating heart. The others are lost to you, in their own little world, searching in the dark with their flashlights like fireflies.
“Yeah,” Steve scratches the back of his neck. “And, just in case, me and Robin are not a thing, either. Just friends.”
“Platonic with a capital P!” You hear Robin yell out in front of you.
You can’t help the laugh that bubbles out of you at Steve’s blush. “Yeah, yeah, think she got it, Buckley, thanks.”
“You’re welcome!”
“That’s… good to know,” you comment.
Steve raises his eyebrows at you, then scratches his chin. “Is it? Good to know?”
You nod slowly, avoiding his gaze. “Maybe.”
“Maybe. Okay. Maybe is—” he breathes out. “Maybe is cool.”
“Maybe is really cool,” you allow yourself a small smile.
“Really?” Steve inquires, and when he notices his smile he gifts you one of his own. “Okay. That’s great. Maybe is really cool. Cool. Cool beans.”
“Yeah?” You bite your lip, finally daring to look at him.
Steve follows your movement with his eyes. “Yeah,” he says, breathless.
“Hey guys,” Dustin’s voice rings out, the moment gone. “I think we found the portal!”
You both follow Dustin’s voice until you reach a lake, where Eddie explains Vecna killed Patrick when he was running away from Jason and the rest of the basketball team. 
“So the portal is… what?” Robin asks, “Underwater?”
Dustin shrugs. “Worth a shot.”
He starts climbing up the boat, and you’re quick to grab him by the sleeves of his shirt to stop him.
“Just what do you think you’re doing?” You ask him.
“Looking for the portal,” Dustin says, matter-of-factly.
“You told me this portal is supposed to teleport you to another dimension, one Will Byers got stuck in,” you reply, pulling him away from the boat. “You’re not going anywhere near that portal. None of you kids are.”
“Who died and made you the boss?”
“Three people died,” you note.
“I made her the boss,” Robin quips. “Well, Nancy might technically be the boss, actually. Nance?”
Nancy blinks at Robin’s words. “Uh, yeah. Sure.”
“Nance says yes.”
Eddie frowns. “Yes to being the boss or yes to—”
“Let’s just go,” Nancy urges, gesturing at Steve to help her drag the boat offshore. Steve complies, and helps Nancy climb into the boat, followed by Robin and then Eddie.
“But what about the curse?” Dustin wonders, looking at you.
“I have this, remember?” You hold up the cassette player, and wink at your brother. “Don’t worry about me, okay? Look after Lucas and Max. Nancy might be the boss, but you’re their leader.”
“Okay, yeah,” he nods, sounding more like he’s talking to reassure himself than anything. 
“Compass, please,” you tell him, and Dustin complies unhappily. You can’t help yourself from grabbing him by the cheeks and kissing his forehead like you did when he was younger. Despite being a good leader, a fighter, he’ll always be little Dusty, who steals your waffles and makes really bad coffee. “See you soon.”
Steve offers his hand to help you climb the boat and you take it with a tiny smile.
The trip on the boat is short and dark. Even with Steve using his flashlight to try and light the way, it’s barely enough to keep you from being engulfed in the darkness of the night. When was the last time the moon shone down in Hawkins? There are almost no stars above, the view chillingly dark. You fear what you might find. Nancy stares at Dustin’s compass, trying to give any semblance of direction when the compass starts going crazy.
Steve starts pulling off his socks. 
“Steve,” Nancy says slowly, “what are you doing?”
“Somebody’s gotta go down there and check this thing out. Was one of you four Hawkin’s High’s swimming co-captain and a certified lifeguard for three years?” He figures, already working on his other shoe. “It’s gotta be me, no complaints, alright?”
Eddie chuckles nervously. “Hey… I’m not complaining. I do not wanna go down there.”
You watch as Eddie takes something off his pocket and throws it on the boat’s floor. You want to stop Steve somehow, irrationally, because as far as you know Nancy, Robin and Eddie can’t dive, and you can barely float — but the words die on your throat when you look up and Steve is peeling off his shirt.
“Here,” Eddie says, and you realize now he had wrapped a plastic bag around a flashlight and is now handing it back to Steve. “Good luck.”
“Thanks,” Steve says, taking it from his hands.
“Steve,” Robin rasps out before he dives, and Steve stops to look at her. “Don’t… die?”
“Gee,” he scoffs. “Thanks for the encouraging speech, Robs.”
“You’re welcome.”
“Don’t die, seriously,” you manage to tell him, wanting to reach for his hand but stopping yourself. “Or I’ll kill you.”
Steve nods. He looks like he wants to say something else, but keeps his mouth shut before diving underwater.
The silence on the boat almost kills you, as it rocks quietly, everyone holds their breath waiting for Steve to come up once again. Your heart is in your throat, Don’t You still playing softly in your eardrums, the cassette player still on, a constant to remind you you’re still here. Miraculously.
“He’s…” Eddie whistles. “He’s got balls, King Steve.”
“Yeah,” you nod, looking at the water like you’re hypnotized, waiting for his soaked head to pop up.
“Not what you’d expect,” he adds, a little quietly.
“No,” Robin says, and the way she says it— so fond, so genuine. You couldn’t agree more. Steve is so much more than what you’d expected him to be. “Not at all.”
You stay silent for a few more seconds, all of you waiting for Steve to come back. When he does he emerges with a gasp for air, startling the rest of you. Eddie screams so loud you hear it perfectly well over the music.
“Found it,” Steve claims, holding onto the edge of the boat.
“You found it?” Nancy repeats.
“It was pretty wild,” Steve explains that he seemed to have stumbled into the portal, like an open gate illuminating the bottom of the lake and tinting it red. “It was pretty damn big—”
Before he can continue, Steve is pulled into the water once again, and you jump up instinctively, trying to reach for his hand, but he escapes your grasp quickly. He emerges again and you breathe a sigh of relief— but it’s short lived, because Steve is dragged under once again and he’s not coming up.
“Steve!” you yell. “Steve!”
“What the hell was that, man?!”
Between all the screaming going on, the only thing you can think about is Steve, Steve, Steve—
And so you stand up.
“Wait, (Y/N),” Nancy starts, “What are you—”
“You’re not going in there!” Eddie screams, trying to grab you by the arm.
“I—” You start, but can’t seem to decide on what to say. You don’t know what you’re trying to do, but you know you’ll do it anyway. You have no plan, that much is certain, you’ve never fought a day in your life. “I can’t just stay here!”
“Are you insane?!”
Robin pales. “No, (Y/N), wait—”
With one last look at the rest of the guys, you dive into the water and swim. You’ve never been a good swimmer, but you find yourself swimming like you’ve never had, quickly finding the red portal Steve had mentioned before being dragged down here. What you find on the other side reminds you of when you met Vecna— when he showed you your memories, cold, distorted and dark. You briefly wonder if Vecna had managed to drag you all the way here then, but you have no time to dwell on it too much.
Steve is laying on his back, as some creatures bite at his abdomen incessantly, like leeches. They are choking him, curling their tails around his neck. You stand up and run towards him, only to notice the others have followed behind you, their wet footsteps a reassurance.
“(Y/N)!” Nancy yells, making you turn. She throws one of the boat’s paddles at you, keeping one for herself. 
You manage to catch it, God knows how. Steve is still struggling when you get to him, and the first thing you do is smack one of the things across the face, forcing it on its back and stopping it from further gnawing Steve’s abdomen. You see as Robin starts stomping on the one who has its tail curled around Steve’s neck, and Nancy takes on the other one.
“Shit,” Eddie murmurs when he looks up the sky and sees even more of them approaching.
One of them starts going after Nancy, Eddie trying to come to her rescue by grabbing Steve’s still working flashlight and smacking it as hard as he can manage. You help Robin by hitting the one she’s stomping on with the paddle, until Steve manages to bite its tail, forcing it to curl itself from his neck. 
With more coming, you are distracted enough to barely notice when Steve manages to behead it, his lips stained with pitch black blood.
“Jesus christ,” Eddie mumbles. “Jesus H Christ!”
The adrenaline pumping through your veins, your heartbeat going faster— everything seems to go for so long, when in reality it must’ve been just a few minutes.
“Steve,” you manage to rasp out, walking towards him, only looking at his wounds, unsure of what you can do to help him. “Shit, Steve, are you okay?”
“They only took about a pound of flesh,” he says, making you sigh. “But other than that… Yeah, never better.”
He stares at you when he says it, and you can’t help the way your breath catches.
“You’ll need bandages,” Nancy notes.
“Do you guys know if these bats have like, rabbies?” Robin wonders aloud. Aware that everyone’s eyes are on her, Robin starts rambling about rabies symptoms and death. You and Steve glance at each other.
Steve’s chest is still rising erratically, exhausted, when he asks, “What the hell are you talking about, Robin?”
Before Robin can go on any longer though, the sky is tinted red again, and the screeching of even more approaching creatures gets you on edge. 
“We need to get the fuck out of here,” you say, and the rest of the group seem to agree.
The five of you break into a run into the forest, as far as you can before Steve’s wounds start to appear more serious, and when Nancy deems it safe enough, you stop near a tree where Steve can lean against, still breathing rapidly. You remember that Nancy said he’d need bandages, and so you take the hem of your pants and start ripping them open.
“What are you—” Steve starts.
“Bandages,” you say. “I saw this in Indiana Jones.”
“Indiana Jones?” Steve asks with a chuckle, looking up at the sky, smiling. “Your movie choices keep surprising me, Henderson.”
You tie the cloth around his wounds as tightly as you can, hopeful that it’s a good enough job to keep him from bleeding out until you guys get out of here. The wounds don’t look too bad, but you have no idea how long you'll stay here for. Nancy, looking over your shoulders, seems to approve of your bandage work.
“Thanks,” Steve rasps out.
“Just don’t die on me,” you nod, staring at his eyes.
“I’ll try not to.”
He holds your gaze, your mouth going even more dry than it already is. “I’ll hold you to that, Harrington.”
You’re interrupted when Steve catches something behind you. It’s Eddie’s jean vest. When you turn, Eddie scrunches up his nose.
“For modesty, man.”
“We escaped now, but there’s more of those monsters than what we saw,” Nancy interrupts, walking around, trying to think. “They’ll come looking for us. We need to get out of here.”
“So,” Eddie starts, running a hand through his mouth. “What the hell do we do now? How do we get out of here, exactly?”
“We need to find another portal, right?” Robin replies. “That’s the only way to get out of here. But we can’t go back to Watergate, it’s probably full of those bats now. Those bats full of rabies!”
 “Right now, the most important thing is to defend ourselves,” Nancy says. “We don’t know what kind of monsters are down here. Maybe they’re even worse than that.”
“Hell,” Eddie breathes. “You think Vecna is here?”
“I don’t know… Maybe.”
A chill runs down your spine at the mention of Vecna’s name. Your hand flies to your ear, and only then you realize you’ve jumped in the water with your headphones on, and when you reach the player secured inside your front pocket it’s wet and broken. Through the adrenaline of the fight, you hadn’t even noticed that the song was no longer playing. 
“Shit,” Nancy breathes out, looking at your ruined headphones. “The player.”
“It’s ruined,” you lament, seeing the way it’s soaked. You toss the cassette player to the ground, near Steve’s feet, who pales even more, if it’s even possible.
“Fuck,” he says, breathless, the slight reassuring smile he’d been wearing disappears in an instant. He stands up straight despite his body clearly protesting against it. “We need to find another one before it’s too late.”
“Would it even work here?” Robin wonders. “If it’s one from the Upside Down, I mean. Things seem to be… kind of broken here, don’t they?”
“Then we need to get her out of here right now,” Steve urges, and when he starts trying to walk away it’s Eddie who stops him.
“Dude, do you want your intestines to hang out of your abdomen like some shitty Nightmare on Elm Street scene?” he asks, “Stay still! Those bats could be anywhere!”
“We need to move!”
“Steve, wait a second,” you urge after him.
“We could go to my house,” Nancy offers. “I have guns. We could use them to fend off the demo… bats, or whatever. And we need a player. We can use Mike’s, he has one he didn’t take to California.”
Eddie blinks. “You, Nancy Wheeler… have guns.”
Robin grins. “Full of surprises, isn’t she?”
Steve is already on his way despite his groans of pain, and even though the wounds had seemed pretty superficial to you when you wrapped them up, it doesn’t mean that they don’t hurt like a bitch.
“Steve, you’re just hurting yourself even more now,” Now Robin is sighing, exasperated. You briefly wonder how many times she’s had to deal with Steve like this.
“Let’s go,” he says, ignoring her.
“Steve...” you try to stop him, but he turns around quickly.
“Let’s go!” 
Robin scoffs, crossing his arms. “Where are we even going, oh great leader?”
“Nancy’s!”
You all turn to look at each other, unsure if following Steve is the best idea, but with nothing else to do and no other ideas, there’s only one thing to do.
And so you all start walking.
📼📼📼📼📼📼📼📼📼
It’s a while before you arrive at the Wheeler’s, the five of you mostly exhausted from the fight, with Steve clutching his wounds but still leading the way, right next to Nancy. You’re all on edge the entire way back, but despite the lack of music you don’t feel different yet, and you don’t encounter any more demobats, as Nancy had called them.
Nancy’s house seems haunted in this place, just as much as the rest of Hawkins seems to be. Despite housing monsters, the Upside Down looks more like a ghost town than anything. You couldn’t help but wonder how tiny Will Byers had ever survived something like this so young… Nobody ever gives that kid enough credit. 
Nancy wastes no time climbing up the stairs; she almost seems unaffected looking at her house like this, so… dead. She hovers near a door and turns to look at you.
“This is Mike’s room,” she nods at it. “His cassette player should be in there. Me, Eddie and Robin will get the guns and look for the cassette in my room.”
You agree to it, and she disappears down the hallway along with Eddie and Robin. You and Steve enter Mike’s room, start rummaging through cabinets. You work in silence. You’ve never seen Steve this quiet, this focused. You wonder if he’s mad at you— he had to be. Now besides demobats and trying to escape, he had to help you too because you’d went and done something stupid and completely irrational.
Steve clears his throat, holding up something in his hand. “Found it,” he calls. “Think it’ll work?” He wonders aloud, as you close the closet door before walking up to him.
“Here,” You say, then pull your ruined flashlight from your back pocket. You hit the back of it against the palm of your hand and the batteries come off. You’re not sure if this might work since the flashlight got wet and stopped working once you jumped into the water, but once you plug them into the cassette player it seems to come to life. Steve sighs, relieved. “Thank God that worked. Let’s get that stupid cassette and get out of here.”
“Sounds good to me,” he quips. He wets his lips, looking around. “You don’t feel any different, though, right?” When you shake your head, he seems to be able to relax a bit. “When we were on our way here, Eddie told me you didn’t waste a second to help me.”
You wait for Steve to continue, but he doesn’t.
“I’ve never been much of an adventurer when we were kids,” you say. “Dustin wanted to climb trees and go camping, and I wanted to stay home and read books. We used to fight all the time because I never wanted to play outside with him, because I was scared of bugs and dirt and I just wanted to stay inside.”
Steve doesn’t say anything to that, but he’s near you, hoving near your hand, like he knows you need the comfort, unsure if it’d be wanted from him. 
“If I don’t make it out of this stupid curse, Steve,” you breathe out, legs feeling so shaky you want to throw up, “I need you to promise me you’ll take care of Dustin.”
“He’ll kill me before I let you die,” Steve says, trying t sound lighthearted but failing.
“Steve,” you rag out. “Promise me. Please.”
Steve nods, his voice soft in the way it does when he’s trying to be gentle. “Y—yeah. Of course. You know little Henderson’s like my own little brother.”
“I know,” you acknowledge. “You’ve been a way better sibling than me. I’ve been such a shitty sister and I’m… I’m really glad Dustin has you.”
“That’s not true,” he argues, reaching for your arm in the darkness of the room— you want to flinch away. “He loves you, (Y/N). Seriously, you should hear the way he talks about you when you’re not around.”
You ignore the sting in your eyes and berate yourself for tearing up.
“It’s my fault,” you whisper.
“What?”
“It’s my fault my dad walked away,” you shake your head, tearing your arm away from Steve’s touch, feeling cold as soon as you’re away from him. But you deserve it, you deserve the cold. “I told him I hated him after I learned he cheated on mom and that he had another family, and he never came back. I told him I never wanted to see him again. I’m the reason Dustin doesn’t have a dad now. But— but I was just fifteen, I didn’t— I didn’t know what I was asking—”
“Stop, stop,” Steve interrupts, and suddenly he’s pulling you close to your chest and holding you close.
And suddenly that’s all you need to break down, tears flowing freely down your cheeks. You feel embarrased, stupid for crying about something like this when the world might be about to end, horrifyingly guilty for everything— but for the first time you feel like something has been finally lifted off your chest and you can breathe, here, with Steve holding you. You’re glad Steve stayed behind with you. In truth, you think you might just be glad for Steve.
If someone had told you a week ago you’d be crying in Steve Harrington’s arms you would’ve smacked them. Life can change really fast, huh?
“Nobody is going to die,” his voice is so soft. You’d never thought you’d think of Steve’s voice as anything other than grating, but now you hold onto it like a lifeline. “I won’t let that happen.”
You breathe into his chest. You finally manage to let go of him, thanking God the others weren’t near. You miss the warmth almost immediately, as much as you don’t want to admit it. “Shit, sorry, your bandages.”
“You need to stop doing that,” he quips.
“What?”
“Apologizing so much,” he reaches for your arm again before walking, and you thank him silently. You have to bite your tongue not to apologize again. “Let’s go get that cassette.”
When you both step into Nancy’s room, the silence is almost deafening. 
“What happened?” 
“The guns,” Nancy explains, her eyes focused on her nightstand, not looking up at either of you. “They aren’t here. But so many things that shouldn’t be are. Like— like my curtains, and these— these toys I gifted my cousin Joanna. They haven’t been here since 1983.”
“We’re stuck in time, dude,” Eddie finishes for her.
“Three years, to be exact.”
“What?” Steve asks, confused. “Three years into the past?”
“... From when Will disappeared, you mean?” You question.
Nancy nods. “Yeah, I… think so. But, (Y/N), If we’re three years in the past, it means The Breakfast Club isn’t out yet,” Nancy swallows, hard, then finally looks up to stare into your eyes. 
“What do you mean?” Steve asks, his chest rising erratically. 
You bite your lip. “She means the song doesn’t exist, either.”
Nancy closes her eyes.
“I’m sorry, (Y/N).” 
“Fuck!” Steve yells, “fuck!”
He kicks one of Nancy’s nightstands with so much force he manages to force it into the ground, Nancy’s belongings following suit, scattering around the carpet, making Nancy flinch. 
“Steve,” you whisper, trying to reach for him. “Stop.”
Steve sits on Nancy’s bed, hand covering his mouth. He lets you rest your hand on his arm, and he breathes out another curse. He almost looks frozen in place like this, and it reminds you that everything in here feels like it is— ghosts, so many ghosts. You feel like you’re stuck in hell. 
“Maybe any song will work,” Robin offers a little desperately, going through Nancy’s drawers, pulling out different cassettes and soundtracks, Duran Duran, Madonna, Elton John. “C’mon guys, one has to work.”
Eddie scratches his neck. “Doesn’t it have to be her favorite song? Isn’t that what Henderon said?”
“Screw it,” Nancy shakes her head, taking in a shaky breath. “We have to try whatever we can. This is our only option.”
“Okay,” you nod, shakily, prying your hand off of Steve’s arm, reaching to cruch own next to Robin and look through the rest of Nancy’s cassettes. “Okay, let’s— let’s try it.”
Robin holds up Total Eclipse of the Heart. “You like Bonnie Tyler?” 
“Seems as good as anything,” you nod, taking it from her hands. As the first notes of Total Eclipse start playing, you gulp nervously, praying this might work, that you have at least enough time to get out of here alive.
Steve still looks miserable, but seems a little calmer now. “We need to get out of here right now.”
“How?” Robin sighs. “How did Will ever manage to get out of this place?”
“There has to be a way,” Nancy figures, then something seems to dawn on her. “Will. Will used to talk to Joyce with the Christmas lights while he was stuck in the Upside Down.”
“The Christmas lights?” Eddie asks, incredulously. “What are you talking about?”
As she explains, you can’t help but think that Nancy Wheeler is absolutely brilliant. You can’t blame Steve for falling in love with her before. She’s interrupted by Robin rather quickly though, when she claims she can hear Dustin’s voice— soon enough, all of you start to hear him, distorted and distant, but it's there no less. Quickly Dustin communicates that he thinks there might be another portal in Eddie’s trailer and that seems to be your best shot at an escape.
Robin and Nancy leave to get some supplies for the trip— whatever they can find to use as a weapon, while Eddie wanders off behind them, with the excuse of rummaging through little Wheeler’s action figures. Steve stays with you, as you stare at Holly’s Lite Brite, unsure on what to do. 
You trust Dustin and his plan, of course you do. Dustin’s done nothing but prove himself to you these past few days. Still, the thought that everything might go incredibly wrong is almost unshakable at this point. What was it Max said to you? Something about how Vecna’s curse made people feel hopeless and lonely.
“You okay, right?” Steve wonders aloud, searching your face. “You haven’t had any visions yet?”
You haven’t felt Vecna’s pull yet, but you don’t want to be overly optimistic just yet. “I’m okay, I think. Are you?”
You glance down at his bandages, but he only nods. “Yeah, they don’t hurt anymore. I’m more worried about you.”
Warmth spreads all over your cheeks and inside your chest, but now’s really not the time for all of these feelings, and so you try to squeeze them out, to focus on something else. 
“I just hope the plan works,” you mumble. “I want to get out of here.”
“You—” Steve shakes his head, looks at you with a look you can’t name. But he sounds frustrated, exhausted. “You just jumped in after me? You didn’t even think…” he trails off. “Eddie said you just jumped. Fucking jumped. You’re unbelievable, you know that, don’t you, Henderson? Absolutely fucking unbelievable.” 
You look down at your hands.
“It was stupid, I know, I—”
“Thank you,” Steve murmurs, honesty bleeding into every word he speaks. You look up at him, surprised. “You saved my ass back there.”
The truth is you hadn’t doubted one second— you hadn’t even stopped to think about what might happen to you. Helping Steve was more important to you than anything in that moment, and you didn’t regret it, how could you regret that? 
“You saved my ass first, back at the Wheeler’s,” you smile at him. “Even later, in the woods, and at Creel’s house. I don’t know if I could have kept going without you… so thank you.”
Steve stays silent for a few seconds, unsure of how to continue. You can practically feel him grow nervous now, when he clears his throat and begins speaking. “Listen, I know we are on the brink of life and death and maybe world threatening danger, but I kinda need some motivation to get out of here.”
“Yeah?”
“So, now that you know me and Nancy aren’t really a thing, and that me and Robin are platonic with a capital P…”
“Keep going.”
“And since you know, maybe is really cool,” you nod, trying to fight off a smile. “We should, maybe, go on a date together.”
“Hm…” you place a hand on your chin. “I don’t know. I’m not sure I can go out with someone who doesn’t like Pretty in Pink.”
“I’ve never said I didn’t,” he shrugs. “I just haven’t even seen it.”
“You haven’t seen Pretty in Pink, you monster?!”
“You know, I’m actively bleeding out here,” Steve gestures at your last minute bandages, his smile almost as handsome as him, even more so after tearing off a bat monster’s head off. Even more so now that it seems you finally have a plan to get out of this goddamn place. “You’re gonna make a dying man wait?”
“You’re not dying, Harrington.” You smack him gently across the shoulders. “I won’t let you.”
Steve chuckles, his hand finding its way to yours, almost nervous, scared of rejection. 
“So? What do you say?”
“I say that if we get out of here alive, and it seems like kind of a longshot right now…” you acknowledge, holding onto his hand and squeezing. “I would really, really like that.”
“Yeah?”
You’re smiling. “Yeah.”
You both might be the people with the worst timing in the entire world— you’re cursed by a demon villain from another dimension, and Steve is bleeding out while you’re both trapped inside the Upside Down, with no clue if you’ll be able to actually escape. Not to mention this is all happening in his ex's house. And yet you can’t help but laugh when Steve tries to reach for the back of your neck and fails miserably.
“I really want to kiss you,” he says, “but my abdomen still really hurts.”
“I have to do everything,” you tease, before closing the distance between you, your lips pressing against his with a sigh. 
Steve’s lips are chapped, bloody, raw, and yours must be equally as bad, salty, open and bleeding raw. But despite everything the kiss is perfect, as imperfect and uncoordinated as it is; the way your lips fit together, the way Steve cradles your cheek, and how you hold the back of his neck while Bonnie Tyler plays in the background of it all. Now, more than anything, you feel hope.
When you break off the kiss, Steve is smiling. 
“Let’s get out of here,” he says. And you just might.
11K notes · View notes
strangerhottotties · 2 years
Note
Hi. If you are accepting requests, could you write a Eddie one where you are Dustin cheerleader sister who also play D&D and have a secret crush on Eddie and no one knows besides your friend Chrissy (let's pretend that she still alive ans season 4 events never happened) and when Dustin and Mike needs someone to replace Lucas, your brother finds you talking to Chrissy and asks you to replace him and she knowing about your crush on Eddie,helps you find a excuse to miss the match to be on Hellfire as a favour to your brother. While Eddie is surprised to see that you are the person who will replace Lucas in the campaign since he didn't know you played D&D and soon after,asks you to talk to you where he assumes he has something for you and asks you on a date, much to Dustin's delight since he knows of your crush on his friend and his friend crush on you and wants his favorite people (after Steve) be together
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Warnings: TW: Dustin jokes once about killing himself. Reader threats to kill Dustin on several occasions. This is mostly flirting, fluff and pining. I hope you enjoy.
A/N: Thank you for the ask, sorry it's taken me a hot minute to actually reply to this. But I'm absolutely NOT going to rush any of my requests. Firstly, I love that you guys enjoy my writing enough to request anything, so I love requests! I just want to make sure I'm satisfied with the quality. Secondly, I'm really trying not to burn myself out. So, thank you for being patient with me, darling. MWAH! I totally adjusted the end just a little bit. So I'm sorry but most of it is true to the request.
Post A/N: OH MY GOD I RANDOMLY FOUND THIS IN THE BOTTOM OF MY DRAFTS AND IT ACTUALLY SAVED! I THOUGHT IT LOST!
The most horrifying thing Dustin had ever spoken was after the very first day of his freshman year nearly made you crash your car. Your tires had squealed when you hit the brakes. "DUDE! WHAT THE HELL IS THE MATTER WITH YOU!" He'd shouted after getting yanked against his seatbelt. His other words like a black hole in your head.
I made a new friend today! He's a senior who's, like the coolest dude ever! He offered to let us join his D'n'D club, you should join too!
"You're friends with Eddie Munson?" You demand.
"Yeah, you know him?"
"Uh, yeah, yeah," you offer before focusing back on the road and proceed to drive again.
"I'm surprised you're not in Hellfire. It's a D'n'D club!"
"Uh, yeah, I'm okay," you offer meekly. Dustin's eyebrows furrow in confusion.
"I don't get it, what's everyone got against Eddie?"
You take a deep breath. "Dustin, do you remember how when we were kids, we'd play the secret game?"
"Take it to the grave?"
"Yep," you reply. "Do you want to play?" You watch his eyes light up and he twists to stare at you. Always eager for juicy gossip.
"Yeah, yeah!" He leans forward eagerly. "What is it?" You bite your lip.
"Eddie Munson... is the guy I've got a crush on." His jaw drops wide open.
"EDDIE IS 'THE GUY'!?" He shrieks. "Eddie is the guy that sits in front of you in Mrs. O'Donnel's class? The one that you always say would never give you a second look?"
"Yep."
"THEN YOU GOTTA JOIN HELLFIRE TOO!"
"NO WAY! AND YOU SWORE! IF I FIND OUT YOU TALKED TO HIM ABOUT ME, I WILL CRASH THIS CAR INTO A TREE AT FULL SPEED WITH YOU IN IT!"
Dustin dropped it. To the grave meant something genuinely. But he hated being stuck in the middle. Especially when less than a week later he had almost an identical conversation with Eddie.
His bag had been jerked off his shoulder by some asshole on the football team. The papers went fly when his broken zipper split. Eddie was nearby and nearly got into a fist fight over it, which Dustin was definitely going to fill you in on later. When the jocks finally stomped off, Eddie squatted down to help him collect his papers.
"Damn, these are killer marks, Dustin!" Eddie congratulates him while patting his back.
"Oh yeah, huge nerd, ya know." Then Eddie's face sobers.
"Wait," he grunts as holds up a finger.
"Yeah, what's up."
"What's this?" He demands, pointing at Dustin's messy writing at the top. His full name. "Henderson? Are you related-"
"Yep. Yeah. Mhmm," the kid folds under the intensity of Eddie's gaze. "The cheer captain, valedictorian would in fact be my sister, yes." Eddie takes a deep breath to steady himself.
"The Queen of Cheer is your older sister?" Dustin wants to beat his head against the wall. It was the topic of conversation at the Hellfire meeting twenty minutes later. Dustin was drowned in the guys all drooling over you. Something he was used to, at this point. And then Gareth says something that has Eddie's eyes widening.
"Dustin, who would have the best chance at scoring a date with her." Dustin drops his jaw wide open to stare at Keith. Then he begins to laugh nervously.
"Definitely me," Lucas smugly answers, mostly joking.
"No way," Mike scoffs back, "not one of us has a chance. Especially not you!"
"Yep, no one. Definitely no one." Every head swivels at his poor lying. Mike stares at him in disbelief.
"No way!"
"What! I didn't-"
"Does she have a crush on someone!?" Mike demands, shoving Dustin.
"I TOOK IT TO THE GRAVE!" Uproar erupts among the table. Everyone sitting forward. Will, Mike and Lucas all groaning with frustration.
"What does that mean!?" Gareth demands.
"It means his sister swore him to secrecy and he won't peep."
"Believe me! I want to! It's so stupid but she told me last week! If you got to me before she almost crashed the car because I mentioned the guy, I could have told you!" Everyone is on the edge of their seats with this.
"C'mon, what can you tell us," Eddie presses with the most charm he can muster despite the situation.
"No way, no. I'm not allowed to talk to you guys about her. She forbids it!" Eddie stands and makes his way around to the kid.
"Talking to us about her? Dustin, do you have dirt on your sister?" Dustin remains quiet, wildly uncomfortable about being put on the spot. "Henderson," Eddie coos, "you're not corrupted into doing the bidding of your older sister are you?"
"Of course not! But there are lines I won't cross!"
"There's got to be a degree of loyalty to your friends. Aren't you loyal to Hellfire?"
"Yes! Yes! Of course, I am!"
"Then tell us something about your sister." Dustin squeezes his eyes shut as Eddie rests his weight across the back of his shoulders.
"The guy she likes," Dustin starts and everyone sits forward in eager curiousity, "he... he..." He desperately tries to recall some bit of information he can spare. "Look, can it be any information or..."
"You know what, sure, kid," Eddie offers, with a wet willie. Dustin shutters in disgust and wipes at his ear quickly.
"Fine, I tried to set her up with Steve Harrington multiple times... but she's always refused because she has a huge crush on someone else..." Eddie grins down at him proudly.
"There you go, was that so hard." Dustin sinks down in his seat and passes Lucas a miserable look. Feeling horrible for outing you like that.
"Don't let him get to you," Gareth grunts out, unimpressed with Eddie. "He just has a huge crush on her and never shuts up about her."
Eddie twists to fix his friend with a horrified look and then Dustin rolls his eyes and groans. "Henderson, you tell her, and I'll make every campaign Hell for the rest of the year."
"You've gotta be kidding me," Dustin grumbles to himself.
Your name being called is what drags you away from conversation with Chrissy. You glance up to see Dustin jogging across the parking lot for your car. "Hey," you offer him.
"Hey, Chrissy," your brother offers with a smile. She gives him a warm one back.
"Hey, Dustin."
"What are you up to? Don't you have class?"
"I gotta ask you a favor," Dustin replies.
"Shoot."
"Lucas is bailing on D'n'D tonight for the game and it's the end of the campaign. Eddie's gonna drill us. We need another body for the party, please, please, please. You have to be there tonight. I can't find anyone else, and Eddie won't reschedule."
"Oh, oh, oh, you have to go!" Chrissy urges as dread sinks in your belly.
"Chris! We're supposed to be at the game tonight! How am I, cheer captain, going to skip our biggest game of the season!?"
"She'll do it!" Chrissy insists. "I'll cover for you at the game!" She squeezes your side and leans in to whisper. "Go get you some Munson." You flush deeply. "Okay, Okay, but Lucas is a ranger, right? I'm a mage, is that really a good idea."
"Please, Eddie is a tyrant as DM." You take a deep breath and sigh.
"I'll meet you after school, but you so owe me."
"YES! THANK YOU!" And with that he throws into a hug.
The drama room quiets as your shoes squeak to a stop. "You made it!" Dustin calls.
"What is this?" Eddie laughs like it's some big joke. You take a deep breath to steel yourself against the emotions that swell at the fact that Eddie Munson was speaking to you. You were in the same room as him, and he was acknowledging your existence like you imagined daily. Like you always willed him to turn around in class and give you a flirty smile. It never happened.
"I found a sub for Lucas."
"I'm missing the game for this," you reply to Eddie a lot smoother than you expect. Your voice even, steady. Eddie rises from his throne and move towards you, head tilting at you.
"Oh, and the Queen of Cheer knows about d'n'd?"
"You're looking at a level seventeen mage," you respond. Eddie's face flashes briefly with shock.
"There's no way."
"Want to see my score sheet?" You hold out your hand as Dustin digs through a folder he kept. "I haven't played in a while, but I know what I'm doing." Dustin passes you the sheet, grinning widely. When you look over at him, he winks and you want to strangle him.
Eddie hums quietly as he glances over the sheet. His eyes meet yours and your heart flutters in your chest. "Well, do you want me to play?" You demand, voice softening more than you mean it to.
Eddie steps into your space, a lazy smile crossing his lips. "If you want me to play with you," your eyes widen at his words and you can feel the warmth of your cheeks turn to burning, "you'll have to say 'please', princess." He's so close you can smell the smoke and his shampoo. It's hard not to take innuendo away from what he just said.
Why, oh why, did you have such a crippling crush on such a prick. You send a hard look down on to your brother, something promising a vicious response.
When you turn yourself back onto Eddie, he's patiently waiting. You take in another deep breath, inhaling the earthy smell of him before you fix him with your 'siren' eyes as Chrissy called them. Your half-lidded smile in response to Eddie has his breath hitching. Eddie was unaware of your competitiveness that would often draw out your feral side. Only you were consciously vicious.
You'd play his game. But you don't think he's prepared for it. You press yourself close, pressing your breasts into his chest. Your mouth hovers close to his ear.
"Oh, Eddie," you breathe for him, "won't you please let me play with you and your friends?"
"That's underhanded," he murmurs back.
"Thought you were supposed to bring the fire, or is the throne for show?" You taunt. He takes in the dark grin you're giving him. It's surprises you how easy it is to flirt with him. He gives you a breathy laugh. It might be nervousness but when he pins you with a dark gaze, you know it's just fueling something.
"Fine. You can join. But I'm gunnin' for you, sweetheart."
"I'm so scared. Now, aren't you going to pull out a chair for the queen?" Dustin high fives you below the table when a folding chair is tucked in for you.
"Thank you," he murmurs.
"My services aren't free, Dusty."
"Oh, I think you'll like my repayment."
The laughter and cheers fill the room still. If you hadn't rolled nat twenty with that last roll there wouldn't be so much thrill in the boys around you hooting and hollering. It was a fun campaign, certainly grueling, and it reminded you of when you'd gotten Dustin into it. Before you'd even moved to Hawkins. The hype was what you'd always loved about Cheer.
Somehow this was better though. Everyone shouting and laughing as they packed up their things. "Hey, Eddie," Dustin calls as Eddie is about to slip out the door. He says it at the same time as he grabs your wrist to stop you. "Come here a sec."
"What's up, little Henderson?" You frown in confusion as Dustin plucks the keys out of your hand.
"I'm gonna leave in a second," Dustin encourages as Eddie rakes his eyes over you quickly.
"Um... okay?" Eddie offers.
"And I know I said to the grave," your eyes widen and you snap fully towards him.
"Don't you dare."
"My sister has had a crush on you for like four years." Eddie's head swivels back to you.
"To the grave you're going."
"Shut up, if I have to spend one more lunch period with him staring at you across the cafeteria and talking about how pretty you are, I'm going to kill myself." You flush deeply and now you both watch each other quietly.
Dustin grins proudly. "Okay then, I'll be in the car." And with that, your brother skips out of the Drama room. Eddie and you evaluate each other quietly.
"So you enjoyed that little tease at first, didn't you?" Eddie grins, letting his bag slip from his shoulder to the floor. You flush.
"Take me on a date and I might tell you," you whisper quietly. Eddie grins at you, stepping back into his face.
"I didn't know you were a devil worshipping nerd before tonight, might have changed my opinion of you," he teases. You start to feel the bite of rejection until he suddenly walking you back onto the table. "How does Saturday sound?"
You lick your lips and nod at him, too emotionally fried to put up a fight like you did earlier. "Yeah, I'd like that." Now that your perched on the edge of the table he just gives you a cocky grin. The lingering silence making you nervous. "Are you gonna stand there and stare or are you going to kiss me?" You demand quietly.
Eddie gives you a mean little laugh and leans in really close. "Good girls wait until the end of a date." You flush and a pout of sorts settles across your face.
"I'm not as good as you think," you encourage. Eddie gives you a shaky breath and then explains it very gently. Butterflies erupting in your stomach.
"The only reason I have to say no is because I'm worried that...," he swallows and tucks hair behind one of your ears. "If I kiss you now, I don't know that I'll be able to stop. Dustin might be in your car for a while." It has you sucking a breath in and your gaze softens on him.
"Saturday then," you agree.
"Saturday," Eddie agrees with stunning smile. You reach forward, feeling emboldened by him. Eddie's breath stutters as you snatch his belt buckle and jerk him closer. You push up onto your toes, lips brushing his cheek. You grin when you lean back and see the pink tint of your lips left behind. He's none the wiser.
"See you," you offer him prior to slipping past him and you pause in the hall. His cheeks are red from the stunt you just pulled. You send him one last smile and slip out the door.
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toontalks · 7 days
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Let's talk about "The Guy Upstairs" (contains spoilers, a lot of them)
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With the season finale of The Guy Upstairs not too long ago, readers were left with a lot to digest.
To start off this discussion, we're going to talk about the most recent episodes because it's not hard take one's mind off it. What if the officer is just teaming up with Adam (serial killer) because he wants to find more information on his allegedly “missing” sister? What if he thinks Adam killed her and wanted more information? After all, if you can't beat them, join them. The question is, how far would he actually go to get what he wants?
Unfortunately, the chances are that Adam doesn’t trust Officer Alex either. Let’s be real, Adam is a serial killer who ties up all loose ends and is very thorough in his clean up, the idea that there is another person out there who might blab, especially someone in the force at that. It would make anyone paranoid of betrayal. 
One scene that may confirm the theory that Officer Alex is double crossing Adam is where he is surprised when Hawa reveals the lipstick stained shirt in his car. His expression reveals quite a lot, especially the fact that he was genuinely surprised. The fact that he is so thorough in cleaning up after himself suggests it was something planted there.
On the topic of Hawa, (Adam’s girlfriend and Rozy’s best friend), the creator deserves applause for her portrayal of this specific character. Hawa, at first glance, is simply the dumb but supportive best friend who constantly needs her knight in shining armour (which is Rozy) As the story progresses, we see that she becomes less frustratingly naive and optimistic and starts trusting Rozy more when it came to her advice and intuition.
She also plays a little part in trying to catch Adam in the act, although it feels as though Rozy puts her in more danger revealing the truth. Hawa is bound to appear less comfortable with Adam now that she knows he’s a  psychotic murderer. In the end, Rozy just wants what’s best for her friend.
Is that really a good thing though? Think about it. Despite the way Adam phrased his assessment of Rozy and Hawa’s friendship and the obvious intention to drive a wedge between them behind his mentioning of it, he had a point. Rozy has a very unhealthy attachment to Hawa. To paraphrase Adam, she already has one cherished one and thus, does not see the need for other companions or friends, even her platonic relationship with Officer Alex was a means of securing Hawa’s safety.
She pushes away Ravi, who ironically, just wants to take care of her (even though her analysis of him being a “guy who won’t take know for an answer is spot on, which is shown a little later down when he flat out rejects him and he punches the wall and storms her) as well as other characters who help her in her plot to catch the harasser (Teddy) on campus. She holds everyone at arm’s length.
Her clinginess to Hawa may be born out of concern and affection, but it is borderline possessive. Although her wariness of Adam is mainly contributed to by him being a serial killer allegedly, there is also the presence of a subconscious fear of losing the only person who “truly cares for her”. This is something Adam exploits in an attempt to waver Rozy.
Adam is toying with Rozy. This much is obvious. The threat against Rozy’s safety (even though she is neglectful of it) is minimal as Adam clearly could have killed her at any point but has deemed her harmless. Or rather amusing. It’s no secret that he enjoys riling her up and gradually chipping away at her sanity. Something that can be seen where she contemplates stabbing him in the back (literally) to end it all. Maybe being psychotic is genetic.
Siblings, a plot twist the author reveals as she (sadly) cancels the series. This revelation only adds to the loose ends within the story. Is the scar on Rozy’s abdomen somehow related to the car accident Adam was in as a child? Is it a possibility Rozy has repressed memories? Maybe Adam as well.  Or perhaps Adam remembers. It would certainly explain why he ‘coincidentally’ ended up renting in the same building just above his sister’s floor. Perhaps he made the connection when he saw the picture frame in Hawa’s house that may have had Rozy with long hair in it. Rozy does have the same hair colour as his mother after all. Maybe seeing the photo surfaced some memories. It would certainly explain his expression after seeing the photograph.
Rozy and Adam’s relationship is already rather tumultuous to say the least. Why did he let her find him in the last episode? Perhaps he finally wants to have a proper conversation. Maybe he wants to frame her for Teddy’s murder and force an alliance. Her cleaning skills were very emphasised in the series, perhaps he wants to recruit her for evidence clean up. If not, it’s not far-fetched to believe at some point Rozy will end up committing murder for Hawa’s sake and Adam will be the only one she can turn to.
I can only pray Rozy’s plot armour would have been thicker than her apartment walls.
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rhysdarbyarchive · 2 years
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2017 interview with Rhys in Shortlist Magazine (source) Transcription under the cut
Comic and trained killer, Flight of the Conchords' Rhys Darby? Present!
Hi Rhys. What you doing?
I'm on top of a palm tree on an island in the South Pacific, trying to get signal. Technology, eh? I'm in Fiji filming the second season of Wrecked - like a comedy version of Lost. I play the character Steve.
Is he from New Zealand?
Of course.
You've finished shooting the new Jumanji with Dwayne Johnson. What's he like?
A very big, busy man. He'd make these little phone videos with me for his Australian friend. I never saw what happened to them. He'd get up at 4am for some big physical regime.
Did you do a workout with him?
I didn't hear any of that. Sorry, I'm now walking the streets of Fiji, trying to get better reception. Something about a meerkat?
No, did you work out with him?
Oh, no. Kevin Hart's very much into his muscles, too - he'd pull on an elastic band between takes. Jack Black wasn't doing much of that. He was just sitting talking to me. He was more my scene.
What's the latest on a Flight of the Conchords film?
It hasn't got past the wouldn't-it-be-great-to-do-it stage. But the dream's still alive. There's certainly been no progress on it, though.
What's your favourite Conchords song?
I'm a big fan of Hiphopopotamus Vs Rhymenoceros.
How does that go?
Well, I'm not going to rap it down the phone. But it goes: 'I'm the Hiphopopotamus, rhymes are falling off the top of oesophagus.' Like that. I can't go past my own rendition, though. Oh God, what's it called? Something about walking...
Leggy Blonde?
Yeah, that's the one. Another one of my favourites is Angels. It's about angels doing it in the clouds. Having sex. I like their more obscure numbers. A true fan.
What do you think band manager Murray Hewitt is up to now?
He's definitely back in New Zealand, probably fired from any cultural position. I think he's on a small goat farm, still managing the Conchords. Let's not forget: they're the fourth most popular novelty folk band in New Zealand.
Post-Conchords, you created and starred in mockumentary series Short Poppies. What's it about?
It's a deep dive into the mindset of New Zealand life. David Farrier, a real journalist, has been tasked with getting under the skin of what it means to be an ordinary New Zealander. We soon find out his budget hasn't stretched far - he only ends up finding people from one town. All played by me.
And are you playing ordinary New Zealand types?
A lot are facets of me. I grew up with three sisters, so it was easy playing an arty-farty fun girl - which I had fun making David uncomfortable with. There's a ufologist, too. I'm into that.
Do you believe in UFOs?
Yeah, I do. I've seen them. Only small ones. They could've just been shooting stars [laughs]. I believe there's alien life out there and the truth will come out soon, in our lifetime. Governments know more than they're willing to tell us.
Role to role, your voice never changes. Will we ever hear you in a non-Kiwi accent?
If they wanted me to. But then if I did a US accent people would go, 'That's weird.' They wouldn't buy it. I'm proud that I can keep this voice.
Sean Connery never changed his, and that worked out for him.
Exactly. And he's my hero. I'm just waiting to play that Russian submarine commander.
What's the biggest misbelief about New Zealand?
That there's little besides sheep and paddocks. In reality, the sheep numbers are down [laughs]. Also, people think New Zealand's part of Australia, when, really, it's very different. We don't have animals that'll kill you. And the ice cream's much better.
You seem to pop up in every New Zealand comedy. Are you contractually obligated to?
No. The irony is, no one pays you in New Zealand. There's no money there. I should stop promoting it.
Where's the most far-flung place you've performed stand-up?
The Falkland Islands. It was desolate. I did a routine to the British Army stuck in a remote base. I did impressions of various machine guns - they liked that.
You spent three years in the New Zealand Army. Is it true you can kill a man with your bare hands in under five seconds?
[Laughs] Yeah. An unarmed combat specialist taught us some moves. Then we all had a go on a dummy. My time was 4.7 seconds. I keep that in my back pocket whenever I'm at the bar: "You might be mocking my accent now, but in 4.7 seconds you're dead, mate!"
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HEY, you've mentioned your OC and cannibalism and I've been meaning to ask. Do you have any lore that goes along with that?
>:)
Mk so A) It’s set in Gotham the tv show and B) There’s also a slight bit of reference to Resident Evil, not so much that you wouldn’t understand it but extra info would supplied if you knew. C) Jervis’s backstory differs from his Gotham one, but is mostly the same. He’s just normal about his sister.
Cassandra’s backstory is, that she was raised by her sister, Donna, who is based off of the Resident Evil 8 character Donna Beneviento, and is similar to her in appearance and story. Donna took very good care of her and kept her safe, but was slightly overprotective of her. She and Donna lived in a fancy manor on the outskirts of Gotham. One day someone, fleeing the police tried to escape into their house, the police ended up shooting Donna in the crossfires, which ended up being fatal. Cassandra was pissed and ended up being shot as well, although she lived.
She had enough photo and video evidence against the officer that injured her and killed her sister that she could get them fired and potential prison time. So instead do dealing with her the proper way, the police claimed she was insane and hysterical, and put her in the new and improved Arkham to make sure that she couldn’t tell people about the murder of her sister.
During her time in Arkham, she meets Jonny :), and since they are a similar age group, her being about 20 at the time and him being 15-16 once he’s finally stable enough to talk to other inmates, they end up making friends.
During the beginning of season 3 she breaks out, planning to exact her revenge against the man who killed her sister. When she finds him in his home she becomes uncontrollable and lets her rage out on him, sinking her teeth into his flesh and ripping him to shreds, constantly crying about how he hurt the most important person to her.
After that she grows an almost insatiable taste for human flesh, becoming a cannibalistic serial killer. Unknowingly, drawing attention away from the new killer on rise, Jervis, who eeemingly has similar reasons for going into crime. Eventually, you know he gets out into Arkham blah blah blah.
Then, time travel into the future, she’s made a name for herself, Cupid, the cannibalistic serial killer.
As I stated she’s based off of Cupid, she dresses in a pink one piece, with long sleeves but with shorts. She has little fake Cupid wings that are hooked onto her outfit, and there’s lots of gold detailings on her outfit. She uses an oversized pink hammer that she used to incapacitate her victims before eating them. Along with that she uses chemicals that make the victims to them simply infatuated with her, doing whatever she wishes, essentially her personally servants.
But, during the Legion era, Jerome is looking for another member of the Legion, and Jonny recommends Cassandra after they spent that time together in Arkham and grew a truthful bond with each other. He approaches her for the opportunity, and she says yes, which is where she officially meets Jervis
They grow fond of each other, eventually becoming attached to each other do to their similar nature of backstories and abilities. Although he doesn’t eat people. yet
Sorry for rambling about her, I just don’t get to talk about her much <3
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iamapoopmuffin · 1 year
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What are you working on now? Or at least rotating around in your head now? (Because that counts as writing! 😂)
Ooh okay, I have a bad habit of flitting between projects when I get my inspiration, but I'm working on a few things right now (one of which I think I've been working on all year but in my defence it is intended to be a very long piece-)
Who Wants To Be A Best Man? (Ducktales) - That thing I posted a preview of where Dewey, Della and Webby are putting Donald's potential best men for his wedding through trials and Storkules crashes the trials determined to be the best of the best men for his bestest friend ever, Donald. I've written everything up to the first trial but by thunder I still can't come up with a trial lol.
The Sharkbomb AU (Ducktales) - As it says on the tin. I'm bringing the Sharkbomb AU to life by stealing a life giving McGuffin from Legend of the Three Caballeros and putting it in the puppet and writing the chaotic adventures of Flinty and Son as they adapt to this new part of their lives and then Sharkbomb finds out he was a ventriloquist puppet and has an existential crisis.
Bring Your Daughters To Work Day (Ducktales) - So, precursor, I love that Donald is the 'More kids to adopt don't mind if I do' dad, and I love that he did not hesitate to take May and June, but also half of me also wants Scrooge to raise all his daughters once someone actually tells him they're biologically his daughters and also for Webby to have the sisters she's wanted since Season 1. This led to me writing a thing that's Scrooge realising these are his kids and then the four of them going alone on a father/daughter bonding adventure. I also want to write a bonding piece for Webby and Mrs Beakley.
The Final Solution (Original) - Point note, all superhero stories are posted on a separate blog focusing on the superhero series (it is not updated often as all the co-creators, me included, are usually very busy with other life stuff). Anyway, this is the final part in a whole overarching arc, essentially the end of the main Censor and Ballad arc, which summed up is 'Ballad is a disgraced former hero trying to step back into the limelight but committing criminal acts to do so and is determined to use his biological son's powers to enact the ultimate staged disaster for him to fix as a mighty hero'. This staging involves killing off other heroes so that A, people think there's a serial killer, and B, he's the only hero who can stop the crazed killer known only as The Censor. This is the long long one. It has fights, murder, sexism and transphobia.
The Fear (Original) - Another superhero story, this one focuses on students at Janusz' school for super humans, specifically Ajax. I'll probably make this a little series that introduces every student, giving a little background and leading to them joining the student population. In Ajax's case, he's being hunted by both a cult he stole an eldritch horror from and the government that knows he has fear and insanity inducement powers and is linked to said cult-
Mirror Mirror On The Wall (One Piece) - The Straw Hats arrive on a strange island that traps them with mirror versions of themselves. Mirror Chopper steals organs and Mirror Brook hunts whales. There's a whole host of evil Straw Hats stuff I've discussed with @rosetheshapeshifter to build up on but I can't say too much about specifics here without either spoiling things or making this answer way too long
Alcohol And Idiots Do Not Mix (Kuroko's Basketball) - I'm finishing the second and third chapters of this old shit if it kills me.
Away In A Manger (Teen Titans) - Oh dear god, this. So, fun fact, I discovered while reading comics that Beast Boy can willingly change gender when changing animal which, alongside my at the time interest in Norse mythology and specifically the origins of Sleipnir, led to me joking with some friends and the wife about a cursed M-preg idea, which in turn led to the creation of fankid Fifi Logan, which in turn led to me actually writing this. It all comes down to me dicking about with cursed cursed ideas. And nothing will ever stop me.
Assorted other small side original series stories. Most of them gay.
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astra-galaxie · 1 year
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Itzel Ramirez
Biographical information
Full Name: Itzel Ramirez
Gender: Female
Status: Alive
Age: 6 (season 1)
Birth: 2006
Race: Human
Nationality: Mexican-Spanish
Origin: Grimsborough, USA
Residence: Grimsborough, USA
Family:
Eduardo Ramirez (father)
Valentina Ramirez (mother)
Arturo Ramirez (brother)
Lucia Ramirez (sister)
Mariposa Ramirez (sister)
Profile
Height: 3'6" Age: 6 (season 1) Weight: 45lbs Eyes: brown Blood: B-
The youngest Ramirez, Itzel is a sweet little girl with short black hair tied back by a set of pink ribbons and warm brown eyes. She wears a pink and purple hoodie, dark purple leggings, and sparkly light-up pink and white sneakers. Her pockets are always filled with random objects that she finds throughout the day that look pretty, like rocks, leaves, and flowers.
Synopsis
Itzel is the fourth and final child of Eduardo and Valentina Ramirez. Like the rest of her siblings, she is a minor character who appears in The Case of The Criminal. She goes to the same school as her sisters, where she loves reading time, her music classes and playing with her friends at recess.
In her free time, Itzel serves as a member of the Grimsborough Girl Scouts. She loves attending scouting events, especially those with the Grimsborough Boy Scouts because she gets to hang out with her Uncle David Jones, who volunteers with the Boy Scouts. Jones always buys a box of Girl Scout cookies from her and every other box afterwards. Itzel says her Uncle has a cookie addition, but with his help, she sells out every season, so she sees nothing wrong with his cookie obsession.
Itzel loved visiting Pacific Bay to see her father and attend her Aunt Adalet and Uncle Fili's wedding. While she had a lot of fun at the wedding, she liked spending time with just her family. They visited many beaches, went seashell hunting, built sandcastles, and even got to bury their father in the sand. But they had to dig him out before he got sunburnt.
Story Information
First appeared:
Bomb Alert on Grimsborough (cameo)
Happy Birthday to You! (first speaking role)
Trivia
She was diagnosed with level 1 autism (commonly known as high-function autism) near the end of her first year in school
She doesn't let people underestimate her because of her autism and shows them that kids with disabilities can do things just like "normal" kids can
She loves the colours pink and purple
She and Avi Douglas are close friends despite her being a year older than the boy
After hearing about how her father took down a criminal with a frying pan, Itzel began practicing how to use a frying pan as a weapon
It has resulted in multiple people getting hit in the knees by a frying pan, followed by the little girl tearfully apologizing while sticking colourful bandages on the person's bruises
Itzel loves baking with her mother, especially when making traditional Mexican or Spanish desserts like Conchas and Churros
Arturo got them matching noise-cancelling headphones to help Itzel when she gets overwhelmed. He got himself a pair because his sister was scared to wear them at first, so he told her they could be headphone buddies!
Arturo also made Itzel several music playlists for her to listen to to help her sensory issues. They range from calming tunes to Itzel's favourite songs from children's movies
She loves going on walks with Lucia around town and visiting the playground by their house. Her older sister taught her how to swing and promised to show her how to use the monkey bars once she was old enough
Itzel loves listening to Mariposa read her stories, even if her sister is reading them for school. Mariposa does different voices for the characters and knows how to bring the stories to life for her little sister
Disclaimer: Character design was created using Rinmarugames Mega Anime Avatar Creator! I have only made minor edits to the design! Background courtesy of CriminalArtist5.
Links to my stories:
The Case of the Criminal (Ao3/Wattpad)
Killer Bay (Ao3/Wattpad)
Where in the World are the Killers? (Ao3/Wattpad)
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traveler-at-heart · 2 years
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The Grinch Plus Her Two
Summary: Natasha isn’t a fan of Christmas and you’re determined to change her mind. Pure fluff. 
A/N: Happy Holidays to everyone! Wherever you are and whoever you’re with, I hope it’s a delightful evening! 
It certainly wasn’t the most wonderful time of year. Being dragged to a crowded mall first thing in the morning was not Natasha’s idea of a relaxing day.
“Are we done yet?” she asked you for the tenth time.
“We just need a present for Vision and Bucky”
“A hat to cover his robot head and magnets to decorate Barnes’ metal arm. Boom, done”
“Nu-uh, Miss Grinch” you looped her arm with yours. “Come on, what better way to deal with seasonal depression than with beautiful lights and Christmas songs?”
“What about seasonal agression?” Natasha growled as an elf began to dance around both of you, throwing glitter in the air.
For the man’s own safety, you dragged your wife away, trying to hide your smirk at her angry expression. You continued window shopping, trying to think of a great present for Bucky. Vision was impossible to shop for, you had made your peace with that ever since Tony gave him a rubber duck and he’d carried it everywhere for a week. Baffling, to be honest.
“You’re gonna hate your present. I just know it” she mumbled.
“What?” you almost didn’t hear her. Nat pretended to be busy looking at a Bed, Bath and Beyond special sale.
“I suck at gift giving and you’re so good at it”
“Well, baby, that’s only because I’m kind of addicted to shopping and a people pleaser. It’s a killer combo for Christmas gifts”
In spite of her sour mood she smiled and you moved closer to her, standing on the tip of your toes to kiss her. The redhead sighed against your mouth and you ran your tongue across her bottom lip.
“You see? You do know what I like” you said and she smiled too. You caressed her cheek and grabbed her chin between your fingers, forcing her to look down at the right angle. Natasha’s eyes widened as she caught a glimpse of the red lace bra you were wearing. “I also happen to know what you like”
“Detka” she chased you around, pulling you against her by the waist. “Get those morons a scented candle, I wanna go home and unwrap my present”
~~~
Any other day you’d go crazy with the mess; but Christmas chaos simply hit different. Every time one of your friends walked through the door, your heart felt full and happy.
“Why can’t we make everyone bring something?” Natasha said as you gave her instructions on how to set up the appetizers.
“Because last time we did that we ended up with frozen lasagna, a pizza and four different cakes” Wanda reminded her, checking the oven.
“So, we” you motioned with the wooden spoon between Wanda and yourself, “A.K.A the only adults that can cook, will take care of this, thank you very much”
“Aunt Natty, can I help with the table?” Morgan said and Natasha’s demeanor instantly changed.
“Of course, sweetheart” she took the little girl by the hand and they walked out of the kitchen together.
You looked at them with a smile on your face.
“She’s gonna be a great mom” Wanda commented nonchalantly and you tilted your head, a silly grin still on your face.
“Yeah… wait, how?”
Wanda giggled and pulled the tray out of the oven.
“Your thougts were very loud when Natasha offered you a glass of wine”
“Oh, damn. Sorry. I was planning on telling her tomorrow morning. It’s silly but I know she struggles with the holidays and I want to change that”
“I got your back. If someone pours you wine I’ll turn it into water”
“You can do that?!”
“Do what?” Natasha walked in looking distraught while carrying a tray of maccaroni.
“Hiii” Yelena said behind her, smiling like a little child. Unlike her sister, she loved the holiday season. “I brought my Christmas macaroni”
“How is it Christmas macaroni?” Natasha frowned at the plate.
“The tray is shaped like a Christmas tree. Leave it there, help me find little Stark; I have a present for her”
“I’m your sister, where’s my present?”
“I’m here and that is a gift to you, sestra”
The two women bickered their way out of the kitchen and you went back to preparing every plate. A couple of minutes went by without any interruptions; the only sound was the conversation that came from the dining room.
“Absolutely not!” Tony yelled as you were walking in with the food.
“Come on, metal man!” Yelena said going after him.
“You absolutely cannot give my daughter a possessed doll!” he said, lifting something that looked like a goat from hell.
“It’s Krampus, he’s really popular in Eastern Europe, right Natasha? Tell him!”
“She’ll have nightmares”
In that precise moment, Morgan came barreling against Yelena, holding on to her knees.
“I love it so much, thank you!!”
“Ha!” the blonde said to Tony and then ducked to meet Morgan’s eyes. “You are very welcome, little Stark”
“Momma, look!” Morgan showed Pepper the doll and she screeched, a hand going to her chest.
“Oh, God… that’s a really original gift, sweetheart”
“Alright, everyone settle down. Time to eat” Wanda commanded. After setting everything up, you took your place between Natasha and Yelena to make sure they wouldn’t start a food fight.
“This looks great, thank you” Natasha whispered and kissed your cheek. You smiled shyly and were about to answer when you felt Yelena’s lips on your other cheek.
“Delicious indeed, sister”
“Hey, why are you kissing my wife?”
“Oh, I thought it was tradition to do it to say thanks for the food” Yelena stuffed her mouth with mashed potatoes while Natasha glared at her.
“Eat, everyone!” you interrupted, trying not to laugh. Natasha cussed in Russian under her breath and you heard Yelena chuckle. “Children”
~~~
“Tired?” Natasha said against your neck, peppering your skin with kisses as you laid in bed.
“Very” you confirmed, but kept your hand on the back of her head, guiding her movements.
“So I won’t get to open my present tonight?”
“Maybe if you stop complaining and use your mouth for other stuff…”
Natasha gasped and you took the opportunity to deepen the kiss, pulling her closer to you.
“Wow, I love this wrapping” she commented once you stripped, only leaving your lace underwear.
“Come on, open it up”
She chuckled deeply and buried her face on your chest.
“Something’s buzzing” you commented when you felt a vibration against your back.
“Damn right, baby”
“No, Nat. I’m serious” you pushed her off and searched behind you, handing over her phone.
“It’s Mama Melina”
“Answer her”
As soon as she pressed the botton, half of Melina’s face was all over the screen, zoomed in on her eye.
“Oh” you both said. “Take the phone back a little. There ya go”
“Hi girls, how is Christmas going? I see you are having fun” the older woman said with a cheeky grin.
“Oh, God” you disappeared from the screen to find your robe.
“There is no shame here. You know studies show that sexual activity has a positive impact on…”
“Mom!” Natasha cut her off. They bickered in Russian back and forth and then settled on speaking about Yelena.
You smiled and walked out to get a glass of water. Everyone but Yelena had gone home a bit before midnight and thankfully, Wanda cleaned everything with a movement of her hand. It was a Christmas miracle for sure.
After drinking some water and filling the glass again for Natasha, you were on your way to the room when you heard someone squealing.
“I’m gonna be an auntie?!” she said excitedly, holding a t-shirt with the words World’s Best Aunt.
“Shhhhh!” you frantically ran to the tree where Yelena was slicing the wrapping paper with a knife. “God damn it, Yelena. You weren’t supposed to open it until tomorrow morning!”
“I do this every year”
“You WHAT?”
“Damn, Natasha was right, you do get crazy during Christmas”
“Newsflash, now that I’m pregnant I get to be crazy whenever I want”
Yelena approached you carefully and gave you a warm hug.
“Congratulations” she said against your shoulder, her voice shaking with emotion and you teared up as well.
“My plan was to tell your sister this morning and then you’d open the present but seeing as you can’t behave…”
“I’m sorry, I’ll put it back”
“Fine. Good night, auntie Yelena”
You heard her squeal once more as you left the room and smiled. Except now you had to move forward and tell Natasha before her sister slipped up.
It was silly to be nervous; you’d been trying for so long to start a family. Of course Natasha would be happy. But telling her would make it all real; the beauty of having a child, but the responsibility of raising someone as well.
With a deep breath, you went inside your bedroom. The redhead was saying goodbye to Melina just as you were opening the drawer on your night stand and pulling out a small gift.
“Did you catch Yelena opening the presents?”
“This whole time, you knew?” you said, throwing the present at her head. It annoyed you how easily she caught it.
“No…” she approached you and slid her hands around your waist while you glared at her. “Is this for me?”
“Yes” you admitted. You chewed on your finger nervously as she tore apart the paper, eyeing the little box curiously.
“What is i…?”
Natasha gasped as she examined the pregnancy test.
“You… we are…?”
“We are” you said, tears clouding your vision. The redhead picked you up, hugging you tightly and crying against your hair.
“Oh my God. I can’t believe you managed to make pee on a stick the best present I’ve ever gotten”
“Lovely, Natalia”
“We’re having a baby”, she chuckled and you felt ten times lighter. “We’re having a baby” she repeated in a very different tone, looking at you intently and you stared at her, worried.
“Nat?”
“You’re pregnant and yet you were exhausting yourself cooking dinner for everyone?”
“Nat” you warned.
“You are resting and taking vitamins and we are going to the doctor tomorrow. And I need to start baby proofing the entire house and baby proof Yelena as well because I don’t want our child to have a Krampus themed room…”
She was interrupted by your lips, kissing away the stress and worry in a slow motion.
“We’re gonna be fine” you assured her, placing her hand on your stomach. “Ok?”
“Yes” she nodded. “Let’s get some sleep” the redhead searched for comfortable clothes, removing your bra with less urgency than before. Once you were wearing pyjamas, she pulled you to bed, your back against her front and her hand on your stomach.
“This is the best Christmas ever” she mumbled against your neck.
“And then the true meaning of Christmas came through, and the Grinch found the strength of ten Grinches plus two” you recited with a smile.
“We’re not naming our baby Cindy Lou, by the way”
“We’ll see”
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elysianslove · 3 years
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Hiii! I loved your Iwa fluff headcanons and was wondering if you could do one with Suna? thanks <3
yesyesyes i would love to!!! iwaizumi’s version. 
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↬ when suna was younger, he really, really wanted a pet bunny. like he really, really loved bunnies, and would beg his parents day and night for one. he even made a really badly edited powerpoint on bunnies and why he deserves one (aside the editing, it was a very persuasive powerpoint. they filmed him while he presented it and the video haunts him to this day). his parents were relentless, though, and didn’t get him his bunny. instead, though, they surprised him with a cat. a cat isn’t as high maintenance since they’re very independent creatures, but can also be very fun. they figured any pet would make him happy. they were wrong. suna hated her so much and would never interact with her. like to the point where he nicknamed her “bitch” and now she mainly answers to that instead of her name. but all that only worked against him, and the cat just kept getting more and more attached to him.
↬ suna now loves her so much, and she’s just as attached to him. like he would kill for her, honestly. it’s his cat >>> everyone else. he has an album on his phone dedicated to pictures and videos of only her, and her bed is in his room because she always ends up sleeping there anyways. he realized later on when he grew older that a cat was the perfect animal for him, and he’s not sure if it’s a parents thing and they really knew or they were just winging it and hoping for the best, but she’s his favorite ever and he would risk it all for her.
↬ his favorite sleeping position with her would be when he’s casually laying on his back scrolling through his phone and she comes and crawls along him to lay on his chest. the warmth he feels within his chest like he just gets so giddy.
↬ suna is crazy obsessed with serial killer documentaries, horror movies, unsolved mysteries, everything like that. his favorite pastime is watching and reading these things, but honestly, it’s not even a like, “wow that’s so cool,” and more of a, “suna what is wrong with you???” type of thing, because he’s the type to have like insidious 2 in the background as he does his homework or gets ready or something. it’s kind of scary how unfazed he is with things like that.
↬ but! yeah he’s extremely brave when it comes to horror movies, borderline unhinged, but his biggest fear? his phobia, if you will? spiders. insects in general, really. he will scream like a sixth grader that’s yet to hit puberty if he sees a spider crawling near him. once he was peeing in the miya twins’ bathroom and some kind of cockroach crawling on the wall and nearly fainted. thank god he was already peeing because he would’ve pissed his pants either way. it’s so embarrassing for him, so he’s so good at hiding it. he just freezes impossibly when he notices an insect and doesn’t take his eye off of it until someone else notices it and kills it. there was this instance when they were at a training camp and he kept feeling as if something was crawling on him, but assumed it was just really hot and his skin was tingling from that. something was crawling on him, though, and it was not just really hot. Top 10 Most Traumatic Moments of his life, especially because atsumu’s first instinct was to record the whole thing.
↬ suna is extremely, and i mean extremely, touch-starved. physical touch has always made him uncomfortable for a reason unknown to him, so he never really accepted hugs or kisses from his family, and would feel so icky if he was roped into a group hug b by his teammates. so when he met you, he thought you’d be so against the fact that he’s uncomfortable with it, because who would want a partner that doesn’t wanna touch or be touched? turns out he actually craves it, and needs it badly, he just needed to take his own time and pace approaching it, and with how understanding you were, he doubted he could ever figure this out without you. he just took it slow, you know? but the more he touched you — held your hand, pinched your cheek, rested his head on your shoulder, pecked your lips for a few seconds longer than last time — the more he wanted you.
↬ when suna became comfortable with the thought and idea that yeah, he actually craves physical touch so damn bad, he wouldn’t stop touching you every second he could. he became insanely clingy, no matter if you were in public or alone. just always has a hand on you at all times. when he’s alone with you, he’s always trying to cuddle with you. you wanna sit and chill on your phone and not really talk? sure, just come do it with your head on his chest. you wanna watch a movie and munch on some popcorn and possibly share a drink? of course he’d love to! just come sit between his legs with your popcorn on your lap so he can steal some and also offer you some sips from the drink. you don’t wanna hug him after a game cause he’s too sweaty? that’s too bad, he wasn’t asking for permission. so you see, suna is a clingy mf. like latches onto you like a koala clingy <3
↬ suna’s music taste is very diverse. his favorite genre is alternative and rock, like the neighborhood, arctic monkeys, etc, but he also loves, loves loves glitchcore music, but also will un-ironically listen to kpop, and rap, and hannah montana’s old music too because why not. he just doesn’t care. if a song is good, it’s good. so what if it caters to a bunch of 12 year olds and not him? who decides that anyways?
↬ suna is very good at hair. like so good. as his sister started to get older, and her hair grew longer, she would sometimes ask him to do it for her before school. at first he was terrible at it, except maybe ponytails cause his hair was long enough at some point to push back into a ponytail, but everything else like parting her hair for pigtails or doing braids or a bun… he was just awful. so, in response, he’d just practice. he’d watch videos as he’s doing his little sister’s hair and be so focused, with his tongue sticking out a little and his eyes squinting as he tries to get it accurate. eventually, he becomes a master at it! you find this out when one day, as you’re just over at his house, his sister comes into his room with a hair tie and a brush and he just carries her up onto his lap and braids her hair as he chats with you and it was so endearing and so impressive and you genuinely believe that was the moment you realized you were in love with him.
↬ he offers to do your hair for you all the time now!! especially if you’ve just showered and are too lazy to brush it and tie it in some way, so he does it for you. he’s actually so, very gentle when brushing your hair, you don’t even feel a thing. if anything, it makes you really sleepy.
↬ when he joined the national team and started to become more and more of a public figure, he’d send you really explicit fan art of him and other teammates he was shipped with just to piss you off. if he was feeling really bold, he’d send you smut written about him. he says he wants to make you jealous. he just wants to provoke you in every way possible, really. one time someone made an edit plot twisting you and him to him and like atsumu so he downloaded video star and made such a bad edit of you and him and posted it on his twitter and instagram and it went viral. like it was one of those edits of just pictures flipping and hearts flashing and lights spasming all over the screen it was so bad it made you cry with laughter. that was his way of telling the world, no one but this person for me, right here <3
↬ i think he’d be very good at doing chores and cleaning and all that, despite how lazy he is. i just think it’s a habit kind of thing, where he grew up doing laundry and making his bed and cleaning his room and washing the dishes that he genuinely doesn’t mind doing it cause it’s natural for him. and he’s learnt to enjoy it.
↬ suna’s favorite color was deep, deep purple at some point, but now it’s between green and black.
↬ he’s caught up with all seasons of keeping up with the kardashians. please don’t ask him why, he doesn’t even know.
↬ once when you were out with him you just gave him a rock that was on the floor and he’s kept that rock with him ever since. like it’s in the drawer next to his bed and sometimes he just takes it out and holds it in his hand while he’s doing homework or scrolling through his phone.
↬ he spams you a lot. like at any time time of the day he just sends you a million videos of him doing the most mundane things; he sends you a video of him eating some almonds and at the end it’s just him going, “i’s good,” or him lip-syncing a song you sent him to listen to, or him trying to do eyeliner because why not. or maybe it’s pictures of him and it’s always ridiculous: him exaggerating him thinking, and then captioning it “thinking,” or just a picture of him on the roof with a peace sign and a pretty smile, or a close up photo of his face saying, “miss u.”
↬ he also spams you with memes all the time. and there’s no set type, it’s just all kinds. really corny memes and really cursed memes, wholesome memes and also memes that bully you. it’s all about the versatility.
↬ suna loves to sleep, he really does, but before meeting you, the only place where he could properly fall into a deep sleep was his bed. after meeting you, anywhere where you were next to him was the perfect place to sleep. if he had your presence near him he could sleep, it didn’t matter, especially if he was resting on your lap or shoulder or gripping onto your hand or resting his legs on your lap. he just wants you close to him, you know? like he feels so safe and comfortable when you’re around, it kind of scares him if he’s honest.
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A Track-by-Track Breakdown of Taylor Swift’s 9th Studio Album: ‘evermore’
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“My collaborators and I are proud to announce that my 9th studio album and folklore’s sister record is here. It’s called evermore,” is how Taylor Swift introduces us to this album in its foreword. One might assume a “sister record” would entail b-sides, or tracks that didn’t quite make the cut for folklore, despite Taylor’s explanation that “we just couldn’t stop writing songs.” evermore’s release came at a strange time, upon the heels of the Folklore: Long Pond Studio Sessions film on Disney+, as well as 5 Grammy nominations for folklore. The world still captivated by folklore, it’s understandable why one might not consume evermore as critically. Even as a die-hard fan, I felt some whiplash by this announcement; I am still processing folklore! Hell, I’m still processing reputation!
If this was the Taylor from two years ago, this may have been a big enough fear of hers to hold off on releasing evermore. But as she explained upon folklore’s surprise release, life is too unpredictable now, and there are zero givens or guarantees. So she followed the same path this time (although making sure it fell in line with her birthday weekend). But it’s not just the strategic timing of the release that she’s thrown out the window for now, but also her mindset whilst making records. As she explains in the evermore album foreword,
“I’ve never done this before. In the past I’ve always treated albums as one-off eras and moved onto planning the next one as soon as an album was released. There was something different with folklore. In making it, I felt less like I was departing and more like I was returning. I loved the escapism I found in these imaginary/not imaginary tales. I loved the ways you welcomed the dreamscapes and tragedies and epic tales of love lost and found. So I just kept writing them.”
This is a revelation for Swift, to let the music lead her into artistic freedom, which is what makes evermore such a triumphant return. Truly folklore’s sister record, Taylor wrote evermore with the same creative team: Aaron Dessner of The National (Swift’s favorite band), long-time pal and collaborator Jack Antonoff, Justin Vernon of Bon Iver, and William Bowery aka Swift’s boyfriend, Joe Alwyn (as officially revealed in the Long Pond Studio Sessions). Additionally, former 1989 tour openers and close friends of Taylor, the HAIM sisters, join the crew, along with Marcus Mumford for some dreamy backup vocals.
The production is just as wistful and mesmerizing as it was on folklore, yet the storytelling on evermore is kicked up a notch, expanding on the topics and worldbuilding established in its sister record, with even sharper lyrics and an effective and elaborate use of alliteration. The best thing about Taylor is that no matter what she does, her masterful lyricism is always at the heart of her art, and somehow, she keeps getting better. Once again, I wanted to explore the rich stories she’s crafted in this woodsy universe. This is how I’ve interpreted the album, but I hope you find your own meaning in the songs as well.
1. willow It is fitting that the opening track to folklore’s sister album, where we wade further into the forest that is Taylor Swift’s imagination and storytelling, would center on the type of tree that is a symbol of hope, belonging, safety, stability, and healing. “willow,” one of the few more obviously autobiographical tracks on the album, is a hymn of gratitude for her man (as she wants you to know, yes, thirteen times), Joe Alwyn, and how the invisible string tethering them together pulled her to him in a time when everyone else was counting her out. Though not as present on many of the other songs later to come on this record, you can feel the lightness in her heart on this song as she embraces the way in which the willow has bent, wrecking her plans, throwing her into the water and leaving her happily lost and afloat in his current. The downward key modulation throughout the last two repetitions of the chorus is beautiful and very fitting for Swift vocally, but also sounds like the feeling of finding your comfort and settling into it, basking it in while you wait for the next place the wind pulls you. Best lyric: “Now this is an open/shut case / I guess I should’ve known from the look on your face / Every bait and switch was a work of art.”
2. champagne problems On the second track of the album, Taylor dives back into the fictional worldbuilding she began to explore on folklore. While on folklore high school relationships and dramatics took center-stage, evermore graduates from adolescence to young adulthood, not that it is any easier emotionally on the listener’s heart. “champagne problems” chronicles a rejected marriage proposal between two college sweethearts at their old dorm building. Taylor sings as the narrator, a reflective, self-deprecating young woman who jokes about belonging in a madhouse and dismisses all her turmoil as champagne problems. The term ‘champagne problems’ itself could have various meanings here: their trivial concerns, the fact that their “sister splashed out on the bottle” of champagne that they will not be using to celebrate as they had hoped, or perhaps it could even hint that excessive drinking is a piece of all the ways the narrator is “fucked in the head,” as they said. Although the person she is singing to is the one who got hurt in the story, the hurt in the narrator’s heart is just as palpable and relatable, because you only have yourself to blame when you self-destruct. Best lyric: “’She would’ve made such a lovely bride, / what a shame she’s fucked in the head,’ they said / but you’ll find the real thing instead / she’ll patch up your tapestry that I shred.”
3. gold rush On her YouTube live chat prior to the album’s release, Taylor explained that this song “takes place inside a single daydream where you get lost in thought for a minute and then snap out of it.” The daydream consists of a love story so pure that the town had never seen such a thing; it could only happen in a fantasy for the narrator. How could she possibly have the gall to call them out on their contrarian shit, or end up with her Eagles t-shirt hanging from their door, when they are so coveted by all, and when she cannot withstand the thought of even competing? She sings, “My mind turns your life into folklore / I can’t dare to dream about you anymore,” a sweet little connecting piece to this album’s older sister, effectively convincing herself out of the idea of jumping into the chaos of the gold rush because even inside her own imagination it’s too dangerous. Best lyric: “I don’t like that falling feels like flying ‘till the bone crush.”
4. ‘tis the damn season According to Aaron Dessner, Taylor had written the lyrics for “’tis the damn season” in the middle of the night amidst their Folklore: The Long Pond Studio Sessions recording after a long night of chatting and drinking with their co-conspirator, Jack Antonoff. The lyrics perfectly encapsulate the guttural ache the track evokes. It is a tale of two people who always find their way back to one another in their hometown, which acts as the ever-returning fork in the road. The path taken, back to L.A. in pursuit of her dreams, is the one she chose and continues to choose, but whenever she returns home, she takes a ride down the road not taken, just to get a taste of what could have been, even if just for the weekend. What starts off as an icy homecoming always transforms into the warmest intimacy. The success of this track is aligned with the success of Taylor’s entire career; even with such specific details, it feels so deeply personal to the listener. You know the street you’d drive along late at night laughing, the spot you’d park the car, the person who stars in every what-if. You will never really know if the road not taken is as good as it seems, but that might be ok; sometimes, the fantasy is better than the reality, anyway. Best lyric: “It’s the kind of cold / fogs up windshield glass, but I felt it when I passed you / There’s an ache in you / put there by the ache in me.”
5. tolerate it Inspired by the novel Rebecca by Daphne du Maurier, “tolerate it” is an agonizing track from the perspective of a devoted wife who polishes plates and paints portraits and waits by the door for her husband with a battle hero’s welcome, who at best tolerates all her adoration. There are few things as painful as idolization being met with indifference, when you have all this love to give to someone who just leaves it there untouched. “tolerate it” captures that desperation for the approval you know will never arrive, but you sit and watch, waiting for it just in case you’re wrong, but you know you’re not. Best lyric: “I made you my temple, my mural, my sky / now I’m begging for footnotes in the story of your life / drawing hearts in the byline”
6. no body, no crime feat. HAIM “no body, no crime,” the one evermore song solo-written by Taylor, has the clearest plot from beginning to end. In the same vein as the female powerhouse country classic “Goodbye Earl” by The Chicks, Taylor is out for blood to avenge her friend, Este (named for one of the HAIM sisters). The story goes as such: Este’s husband kills her for calling him out on his infidelity, and then Taylor kills the husband and frames his mistress. The HAIM girls, who are long-time friends of Taylor’s and former touring mates, lend their vocals to reinforce the accusation on the husband and to provide Taylor’s alibi. “no body, no crime” is so far the closest we’ve gotten to a return to “country Taylor,” proving that she is still the master of a killer country tune (yes, pun intended, it had to be done I’m sorry). Best lyric: “Good thing Este’s sister’s gonna swear she was with me / (she was with me, dude) / Good thing his mistress took out a big life insurance policy”
7. happiness Written a week before the album’s release, “happiness” is one of Swift’s strongest and most reflective breakup songs. Although she writes it as though it is recent, there’s a lot of power in knowing that she’s been happily in love for four years, and that she is even better now at doing the thing that has always been best at. She is finally “above the trees,” as she sings, and is able to see it all for what it is, but her character is still in the heat of it all, trying to navigate the stages of grief when a relationship ends. We see the narrator grapple with many of those stages throughout the song. Most striking is the anger displayed in the second verse when she sings: “I hope she’ll be a beautiful fool who takes my spot next to you / No, I didn’t mean that, / sorry, I can’t see facts through all of my fury.” That section is jarring and feels like one of the most honest moments in a Taylor song, the insanely difficult emotional balancing act when we are grieving a relationship. The devastation of loss can distort our perception, and a part of that is the difficulty of understanding how multiple seemingly opposing things can co-exist in our hearts, such as happiness because of someone and happiness after them. But when you leave it all behind and finally find your place above the trees, you can find happiness after someone and also look back and appreciate the happiness they once provided. Both of these things can be true. Best lyric: “Showed you all of my hiding spots / I was dancing when the music stopped.”
8. dorothea Taylor Swift has the uncanny ability to create such developed and well-rounded characters with such little information, which is what makes her storytelling so compelling. In “dorothea,” we learn much about the title character through the narrator’s eyes, and the relationship they once had. The lyric “skipping the prom just to piss off your mom and her pageant schemes” alone tells an entire story in itself. “dorothea” is also the companion song to “’tis the damn season,” just from the other person’s perspective, which helps shine even more light on the story. The narrator of “dorothea” reveres her but wonders if she’s still the same soul in L.A. as she was back in their never-changing town. Whatever the answer, they’re still willing to support her no matter where she is, but she’s always welcome back in Tupelo by her hometown love’s side if she ever just wants to be herself rather than someone known for who they know. Besides, they’re the only soul who can tell which smiles she’s faking. And you can always return to the road not taken. Best lyric: “They all wanna be ya / but are you still the same soul I met under the bleachers? / Well, I guess I’ll never know / and you’ll go on with the show.”
9. coney island feat. The National What really started the folklore / evermore journey was Taylor’s love for The National. Taylor has cited them as one of her favorite bands for many years, and as we know, this led to her beautiful new collaborative relationship with Aaron Dessner. So it would make sense for the track written with the intention of this duet to be so well executed; you can feel the love and care Taylor put into writing this song. In her press for these sister albums, she has spoken about trying to channel frontman Matt Berninger’s writing style. But what actually happened was she just produced her own signature lyricism at its sharpest. “We were like the mall before the internet, it was the one place to be / the mischief, the gift-wrapped suburban dreams / sorry for not winning you an arcade ring over and over,” is a hall of famer Swift-ian lyric. “coney island” explores the confusion, hurt, and self-reflection when a passionate affair burns out fast because you did not prioritize that person. And to top it off, Swift and Berninger’s harmonies are achingly beautiful, transporting you right there in the story, on the bench, wondering, over and over. Best lyric: “Do you miss the rogue who coaxed you into paradise and left you there? / Will you forgive my soul when you’re too wise to trust me and too old to care?”
10. ivy Leave it to Taylor Swift to make a song about an affair sound so romantic, and so sympathetic to the narrator, that you’re rooting for adultery. “ivy” tells the tale of a woman in a lifeless marriage, likening her home with him to the tombstone that the widow in town visits each day. I like to think this is the same wife whose husband was out there building other worlds without her in “tolerate it,” because then that means she found someone who celebrates her love, who holds her pain for her, who blooms all over her; they started it, but she’s fighting for it all the way to the end, nonetheless. “ivy” showcases Swift’s gorgeous vocals and her sharp lyrics, with a melody so infectious it is bound to permanently plant its roots in your dreamland. Best lyric: “Oh, I can’t stop you putting roots in my dreamland / my house of stone, your ivy grows, and now I’m covered in you.”
11. cowboy like me With the beautifully blended backing vocals of Marcus Mumford, “cowboy like me” is an entrancing love story of two con artists who lost at their own game and got conned into forever with each other. She’d gone from swindling old men for their money and fancy cars to falling victim to the danger of dancing with someone who only has eyes full of stars, and she knows she’ll pay for it. “cowboy like me” is one of the most romantic tracks on the record, proving that life never plays out quite as we plan. Best lyric: “Now you hang from my lips like the gardens of Babylon / with your boots beneath my bed / Forever is the sweetest con.”
12. long story short One of the more pop-sounding tracks on evermore, “long story short” is pretty much a summary of the long story behind reputation (2017). The song is filled with various metaphors for her reputation crumbling around her, and then finally putting her defenses down to be with her lover, someone as “rare as the glimmer of a comet in the sky.” It is a sweet ode to her boyfriend, and a gentle comfort to her past self that it will all work out. But it is also an oddly relatable example of how we shrug off our struggles and minimize them to just a “bad time,” when the time she is singing about was obviously something that deeply affected her (as will be further explored in the title track); but sometimes it actually feels good to just shrug it off as just a blip in your life, because at the end of the day, you survived, and that’s what counts- even if you’re not keeping score anymore. Best lyric: “Pushed from the precipice / clung to the nearest lips / long story short, it was the wrong guy. / Now I’m all about you.”
13. marjorie Whereas track 13 on folklore was a tribute to Swift’s paternal grandfather, evermore’s track 13 is a tribute to her maternal grandmother, Marjorie Finlay, who was an opera singer in the 50s, and passed away in 2003 when Taylor was 13 years old. “marjorie” is quite possibly the most touching track Taylor has ever written thus far in her career. Grief is one of the most difficult topics to tackle in a song; the genius of “marjorie” is that it is simple, yet not understated. Swift reflects on the profound lessons she learned from her grandmother, about the difficult balances of kindness and cleverness, and politeness and power. She curses herself for not cherishing the moments she had with her, for complaining rather than understanding in the moment how admirable her spirit was, for all the amber skies she’d love but will never see. The chorus, blunt and hard-hitting, reminds us that someone does not have to be living to be alive, to be all around, to be with us. “If I didn’t know better, I’d think you were singing to me now,” Taylor sings towards the end of the song, right before you hear a sample of Finlay’s opera singing in the background, a truly eye-swelling moment. It is clear that Finlay played a pivotal role in Swift’s own ambitions, as she sings, “all your closets of backlogged dreams, and how you left them all to me.” Marjorie knew she was leaving them in good hands. If you haven’t yet, check out the moving lyric video for the song, where you can see photos and video clips of Marjorie, both throughout her career and in her time with Taylor. Best lyric: “Never be so polite you forget your power, / never wield such power you forget to be polite.”
14. closure On the most experimental track musically on the record, Taylor writes off her need for closure from a relationship of some sort, whether it be romantic or platonic or business, all of which can cause hurt of equal intensity. The subject of the song is trying to make nice with Taylor, and she is just not having it, as it is not coming from a genuine place, but rather to ensure that their life remains picture perfect, or to clear their guilty conscience, or to preserve their own ego. This is a deeply relatable sentiment; as valuable as forgiveness can be, sometimes the person who hurt you just doesn’t deserve it, and all you can do is forgive yourself for blocking their number or shredding their letters. Best lyric: “I know I’m just a wrinkle in your new life / staying friends would iron it out so nice.”
15. evermore feat. Bon Iver To close out the standard edition of the album, Taylor joins forces once again with Justin Vernon of Bon Iver, with whom she collaborated on the Grammy-nominated duet, “exile” for folklore. However, Swift leads most of the track this time, lamenting the difficult time she went through in 2016. The piano and Swift’s vocals are haunting, particularly when she describes this time in her life as “catching my death,” consumed by a pain that she feels will never end. If you’ve ever been depressed, you know what that feels like, and the dark places it leads you. Although she is singing about a time four years prior, it sounds so present, and it is heartbreaking to hear her in such a state. When Bon Iver comes in, the tempo of the song picks up, the piano riff becomes more erratic, like a winter storm hitting you in the face, and he voices all the anxieties of the cost of such a downfall. But through those anxieties, Taylor finds not a cure, but an anchor in love, and then the tempo slows back down. By the end of the song, Taylor has the foresight to understand that although it may not feel like it now, the pain she is experiencing is not permanent (a sentiment my therapist has been trying to instill in me for years). In her Apple Music interview with Zane Lowe, Taylor explained how the lyrics parallel the times we are in currently, and so it feels really special to have the album end with someone who knows how it feels to be imprisoned by your pain gently comfort us with the wisdom that “this pain wouldn’t be for evermore.” I hope one day soon, as we leave 2020 far behind, we can all truly believe her. Best lyric: “I was catching my breath / barefoot in the wildest winter catching my death.”
16. right where you left me (bonus track) The first bonus track on evermore, “right where you left me,” captures a moment so earth-crushing, a piece of you is trapped in it forever. In this song specifically, the narrator finds herself stuck in the same corner of a restaurant where she was told by someone she loved that they had met someone else. “Glass shattered on the white cloth, everybody moved on,” she sings in mourning. We have all experienced those moments that we could teleport back to if we just closed our eyes; the scenery, what you wore, the smell and taste of the season, the very point in your body where it felt like your insides were collapsing. Or that one particular person, who is long-gone from your life but seeing them is like time-travelling back to that person you once were, ready to pick up where you left off. But as much as you want to stay in that moment forever, just in case it changes in your favor, the cold reality is that the world stops for no one. Best lyric: “If our love died young, I can’t bear witness / And it’s been so long, but if you ever think you got it wrong / I’m right where you left me.”
17. it’s time to go (bonus track) “right where you left me” was Taylor’s cry for help to get out of restaurant, and “it’s time to go” is the answer to the call, as she sings in the first line, “when the dinner gets cold, and the chatter gets old / you ask for the tab.” This song is about gathering the strength to leave situations and relationships behind that no longer serve you. She grieves the betrayal of someone she thought to be a twin from her dreams (almost definitely referring to former friend, Karlie Kloss), acknowledges that keeping a marriage together for the sake of the kids often actually has the opposite intended effect (possibly- but not certainly- something she and her brother experienced), and recounts attempting to bargain with someone consumed by greed, only able to leave with herself (absolutely referring to the end of her fifteen-year long business relationship with Scott Borchetta, her former record-label owner). But as painful as leaving all of those situations was, Taylor has gained the wisdom to understand that walking away sometimes takes as much strength as persevering. You can’t stay at the restaurant, or at the mercy of someone else forever; you have to forge your own path, even if it’s in the opposite direction of what you envisioned for so long. And even with all her past success behind her, as folklore and evermore have proved, there is so much more ahead of her. Best lyric: “That old familiar body ache, the snaps from the same little breaks in your soul / You know when it’s time to go.”
In a time where we are all trapped in our homes and in our heads, the folklore/evermore experience has been the sweetest escape. If anything, the creation of these wonderful sister records has taught me that our most powerful tool in times of distress is our own imagination. Even just the ability to close my eyes while listening to one of these tracks and feel the character’s story is a gift. The way I’ve always been able to pick up Harry Potter and escape to Hogwarts when I’ve felt alone and friendless, I can listen to folklore and evermore when I feel scared or hopeless and escape into this enchanted forest Taylor has built, where I can climb above the trees and see it all for what it is. I feel so lucky to watch Taylor’s imaginative world unravel around me. I can’t wait to see what she creates next.
DISCLAIMER – REVIEWER’S BIAS: I would literally die for this bitch.  
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mishastoesies · 3 years
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layout of MY widower arc:
jack is born and he’s a baby. sam and dean walk into the nursery guns raised and they see a crying baby. dean moves first, puts his gun away and holds the baby and tries to get him to stop crying
dean calls the baby “cas jr.” while he’s trying to get jack to stop crying and sam is like [sam noise] dean his name is jack. look at the wall for two seconds
dean lets jack hold his pinkie, jack grabs it, and gives dean a little baby handprint scar around it. cue dean’s glib little “got a killer grip there, slugger” while he’s actively trying not to cry
dean carries jack in a sling while watching cas’ body burn. everything else about that scene remains the same. the yellow curtains were INSPIRED
when they get back to the bunker, dean pours all of his hard liquor down the drain. and when he’s done with that, he goes into the kitchen, grabs the wine he uses for cooking and the six packs of beer he keeps around and pours those down the sink too
 enter... the hell zone: dean has baby insomnia, grief nightmares where cas burns on the ceiling when he manages to sleep, hallucinates cas everywhere, and the withdrawal symptoms are VERY bad. shot of him crying for three seconds, taking a deep breath, and soldiering on
during ALL of this, sam is trying to be there for his brother but like... the monsters did not Stop just because dean acquired a baby. cue sam becoming the de-facto On Site Adult for the wayward sisters, especially alex who becomes sam jr., and also doing more witch stuff with rowena because yknow. dean’s busy with the kid he’s allowed to fuck around and he’s PRETTY sure he won’t have to do any finding out (spoiler: he does find out, but that’s a season 14 sam thing)
SPEAKING of the wayward sisters, dean has an epiphany during one of his more lucid moments and looks at jack’s makeshift nursery and is like “the bunker is... not a good place for a kid” so he takes himself to sioux falls and crashes with donna and jody for a few weeks before he can get him a Home
mary tries so hard to give him baby advice but it’s all terrible advice from the reagan era because yknow. thats where she’s from.��“you don’t need a carseat, when you were jack’s age you slept on the floor of the impala” “by the time he’s two you can just drop him off at the park and let him play” “are you MAKING your own baby food? i did the same thing! i fed you and sam blitzed up pop tarts a couple of times!”
gabriel shows up early and nearly sends dean into Mystery Spot 2.0 because he’s convinced that dean knocked cas up. this is the first time we get confirmation of jack’s true form looking like cas. dean gets yelled at for a good 3 hours when he says “no no no, jacks not mine, he’s the antichrist” because thats gabriel’s NEPHEW how DARE he say that
when cas comes back, dean runs to him, spins him around, and kisses him on the lips. dean is weeping during this. cas is shocked, and pulls away, and this leads to: the awkward era. 
during the awkward era, cas is 100% in love with dean and dean is 100%  in love with cas, BUT they both don’t want the other one to make a “hasty decision” - cas thinks dean’s just emotional from having to be a single father for months on end and is latching onto him as a result of that, and dean thinks cas is only being nice to him because of jack and couldn’t possibly feel the same way as him
dean can go back out on cases now, and cas is relegated to stay-at-home parent because he wants time with jack. dean avoids them because he thinks that he’d be unwelcome and intruding on them. cas secretly wishes dean was with him the whole time. 
this continues until dean gets got by one of those offshoot-djinn that make you see worst nightmares instead of idyllic dreams. his worst nightmare, surprise, is cas dying again. dean and cas have their very emotional conversation in the middle of the night about this, dean says “i can’t do this without you”, cas says “i don’t want to do this without you,” cue emotional sex scene, and in the morning, they’re once again in-sync and acting like an old married couple, taking care of jack together and being a liddol fambily
while all of this has been happening sam has embroiled himself in witch politics, having become the leader of a growing reformist faction in the community that wants to reconcile with hunters and work to stop larger threats, and he’s pretty sure that rowena’s betraying him because she’s out for power and power alone, so he decides to fake his own death using rowena’s resurrection trick and some illusory magic (here we recast sam as ryan ross from panic! at the disco) to go undercover and see what she’s been saying 
(spoiler: she HAS been double-crossing him and readying for a hostile takeover with her own group. sam now needs allies, powerful ones too... who can he call on? that’s right. gabriel thee archangel. yes my version of season 13 ALSO has horrible sabriel bait! you’re welcome!) 
the angels’ plan to kidnap jack is 100% worse this time because they effectively want to take this very small baby and use him as a generator to keep heaven running. they don’t view jack as a person with potential, they view him as a battery. cas and dean are now on the run from heaven itself, and who can they call on to hide them? who left heaven after deciding the angels were just Not That Compelling? that’s right. chuck. 
chuck in THIS version has a soft spot for his grandson and takes them in, BUT they have to share a house with becky. becky loves the baby, and jack, who is now one year old, loves becky’s pet cat and becky’s three year old daughter. 
scene were dean and cas are lying in the guest bedroom of becky’s house and dean is like “i didnt want this for us. i wanted us to be normal” and cas is like “dean, i don’t want normal. i want you. i’d go anywhere for you, i thought you knew that” 
claire comes to visit them often, even when they’re at becky’s house. the first time claire visits is when dean is alone in the bunker with cas still dead, though, and after she punches dean in blind anger, she holds jack and is like “yknow, i always wanted a baby brother.” when she visits at becky’s house she brings cas a dean funko pop and is like “i got it at the hot topical :)” 
there’s so much more to this but this is like... the main part of it
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goodnightmemes · 3 years
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DEXTER SEASON TWO SENTENCE STARTERS (PART ONE)
Lines taken from 2x01-2x06 of the show Dexter. Feel free to change pronouns or edit in any way to better fit your needs. Here is part two.
❛ It's not what I want, for what I want doesn't matter. This is the only way I know how to survive. ❜
❛ I really need... to kill somebody. ❜
❛ You're in control of your urges, not the other way around. ❜
❛ Can we please secure this motherfucking crime scene ? ❜
❛ It's not him that you miss. Because what he had to offer wasn't real. The way he made you feel about yourself...That was real. ❜
❛ I'm just trying to figure out some way to feel alive! ❜
❛ This stuff never gets to you? ❜
❛ I'm more of a crying on the inside kind of guy. ❜
❛ This neighborhood? It's full of crazies. I'd lock my doors. ❜
❛ Tons of options: Everglades, alligators, pig farms, sulfuric acid, wood chipper, incinerator. Hell! Even meat pies. ❜
❛ So this is the man who stands between me and death row. ❜
❛ There is no such thing as the perfect crime. Not in my experience anyway. ❜
❛ If I believed in God, if I believed in sin, this is the place where I'd be sucked straight to hell. If I believed in hell. ❜
❛ I'm not so much doing this to you as I'm doing it for me. ❜
❛ Now, it makes sense. That's where you disappeared to at all hours of the night like Clark fucking Kent. ❜
❛ If the eyes were a window to the soul, then grief is the door. ❜
❛ I've been preparing for this my entire life. ❜
❛ I'm sure someone with a heart could answer that question. ❜
❛ You know those words don't mean anything, right? ❜
❛ Get used to food references because... I like food. ❜
❛ I go to stalk a killer and I end up with a new car. How did that happen? ❜
❛ Nothing stays buried. ❜
❛ Everyone in that room has heard or lived far worse than anything you've ever done. ❜
❛ The worst killers are usually the ones who think their murders were somehow... just. Even deserved. ❜
❛ You just hop from one lie to the next, no shame, no embarrassment, you just don't give a shit. ❜
❛ You're lying to yourself if you think you don't care. ❜
❛ I'm not sure of what I am. I just know there is something dark in me. ❜
❛ Things, people, who never mattered before are suddenly starting to matter. It scares the hell out of me. ❜
❛ You were right. I'm sorry to wake you up, but I had to let you know that you were right. ❜
❛ In our most paranoid moments, we fear that everyone is talking about us. That's become my reality. ❜
❛ It makes me feel like the whole world could explode at any moment. ❜
❛ I don't have a badge. I have a laminate. ❜
❛ You haven't got the first idea who you are, have you? ❜
❛ You don't kill this many people because it's a chore. You do it 'cause you like it. ❜
❛ I've always been good with parents. The key is to simply think of them as aliens from a distant universe. ❜
❛ The last guy I had sex with tried to kill me. ❜
❛ Okay, this is the first time I regret not being a bigger nerd. ❜
❛ He asks you a question, I want you to think of your answer first and then tell him the exact opposite, okay? ❜
❛ You know, I've been thinking about you breaking up with me, and, well, I don't think it's in your best interest. ❜
❛ There are no absolutes. No one's all good or evil. ❜
❛ You make yourself into a monster so you no longer bear responsibility for what you do. "I can't help it. I'm a monster. "Of course I was gonna do that. I'm a monster." It's sad and it's pathetic... And it breaks my heart. ❜
❛ You don't think there are monsters in this world? You don't believe people are evil? I'll show you evil. ❜
❛ For the first time, I feel the future might hold something different for me. It's possible I'm just fooling myself, but I'm willing to take the risk. ❜
❛ I suddenly find myself weighing the benefits of electrocution versus lethal injection. ❜
❛ Sweet mary, mother of fuck, that's good! ❜
❛ I never expected to get better. ❜
❛ You think you're charming, don't you? ❜
❛ And you're not the least bit pissed off that this man got away with murder? ❜
❛ Healing is all about focusing your rage on the person that's hurt you. ❜
❛ I'm not the person I'm supposed to be. It's like I'm hollow. ❜
❛ I hide in plain sight, unable to reach out to people close to me. I'm afraid I'll hurt them. Like I've hurt so many others. ❜
❛ If you can't be happy for me, then maybe you shouldn't be here. ❜
❛ You made me into what I am! ❜
❛ If you turn back now, you'll go right back to the way you were...hollow, angry, alone. ❜
❛ I will get you through this. I swear. Just come back to me. Okay? ❜
❛ You ran a background check on my boyfriend? ❜
❛ Imagine that... a life with no more secrets. ❜
❛ Everyone has a moment when they realize their value system is different from their parents'. ❜
❛ Rumor has it you have a knack for attracting serial killers. ❜
❛ Sorry if I was short with you this morning. I'm lost without my morning coffee. ❜
❛ I thought you were different than ____, but you're the same. Actually, you're worse. You made me trust you. ❜
❛ I have been patient and understanding, but there's only so much I can take. ❜
❛ What in the name of fuck are you doing up so early? ❜
❛ When I get pissed, I say stuff I don't mean all the time. "I hate you," "I faked it," "You're hung like a grape." ❜
❛ Stop being a douche bag and go fight for her. She's fucking perfect. ❜
❛ I heard what you said. I just don't take orders from you. ❜
❛ You want to hit me? Go for it. I've been waiting for a chance to take your ass out. ❜
❛ Nobody fucking listens to me! ❜
❛ Last time, you came back covered in blood. ❜
❛ Apparently my new life involves a love triangle. ❜
❛ The voices are back. Excellent. ❜
❛ I've spent years looking the enemy in the face, and I'm telling you ____ is dangerous. ❜
❛ Chin up little sister, these things have a way of working themselves out. ❜
❛ You attacked those people because you wanted to. ❜
❛ All my life, I've done what someone else said I should do, been who he said I should be. I followed his rules, I stuck to his plan. I never stopped to think about what I wanted and what I needed. And now I don't know who I'm supposed to be. ❜
❛ I will kill you. I have to. I just don't need to. It's very empowering. ❜
❛ There was a time I would have done anything to protect ____. I would have even lied. But today I told the truth... even though I knew she'd get hurt. ❜
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Seasons of PD: Season 1: Lonnie Rodiger (A Jay Halstead + Halstead! Sister Imagine)
Any quotes from season one that I put in here, credit obviously goes to the writers of PD. For the sake of my story, Ben Corson was killed when he was 11 so you would've been 10. 
Trigger warning for mentions of rape and murder.
Jay's age: 27
Your age: 13
Jay walked up the steps of the front porch of his childhood home. With how crazy gangs have become the past few weeks, it was hard for him to get a good night's sleep without his phone going off, let alone keep track of what day it was. So, when he walked into the district this morning and learned that it was the day of what would've been Ben Corson's fourteenth birthday, he was crushed. He'd learned how to deal with the pain because it wasn't his best friend, it was the little brother of his ex-girlfriend. But, he was your best friend and, despite the saying that time heals all wounds, this day was still hard on you. It was a bit better than when the night he was killed rolled around each year, but it was hard nonetheless. It was also hard because Jay had to see his dad, even if it was just for a few minutes.
"Hey, Jay. How's work?" Pat Halstead asked as his youngest son entered the house. He was seated in the recliner in the living room, catching the highlights of the Blackhawks game from last night.
"Please don't do that," Jay stated.
"Do what?" Pat asked as he muted the tv.
"Pretend like you care. Pretend like you were there for me when I was Y/N's age because we both know you weren't. Remember that fight I got--"
"Jay? Are we going to the Corsons?" you asked, popping into the living room and stopping your dad and Jay's conversation in its tracks.
"Uh, yeah, c'mon let's go," Jay faltered.
You smiled, but it was more of just tipping one side of your lips upward. Today was a day that didn't warrant full smiles, only half-smiles and maybe a few quiet giggles like when you, Jay, Gail, Danny, and occasionally Allie if she was home, told stories about yours and Ben's escapades when you were younger...when Ben was alive.
"Thanks. I made a card, too." You turned to your dad before you left. "Bye, Dad. See you tonight."
"Bye, don't let her eat too much cake, Jay," your dad replied.
"And just for that, you're getting two pieces," Jay whispered in your ear as soon as you were out on the front porch. You rolled your eyes. "Hey, don't use that teenage sass with me, missy."
"Shut up," you joked. "It's just funny because every time Dad tells you not to do something, you do it anyway. It's probably because it's more fun when you're not allowed to do it."
"Okay, fine, I guess you're right about that."
"Ha, you're wrong about something!"
"Technically, I wasn't wrong. I just said you were right. But, do not tell Will."
"No promises."
You walked up the porch steps and Jay rapped on the door of the Corson's. You took a deep breath, trying to forget the many afternoons after school that you'd do the same exact thing, impatiently waiting for Ben to emerge so that you could both play in the backyard together until one of you got called inside for dinner, not without promises to play with each other the next day.
"You okay?" Jay asked, noticing your change in demeanor from joking with him to solemn in a matter of seconds.
You shrugged, not knowing what to say.
"Jay, Y/N," Gail Corson said as she answered the door after you and Jay had each given her a hug.
You walked inside to the kitchen table, where Ben's dad, Danny, was just sitting, staring into space. "Hey, Danny," Jay said.
"Hi, Jay. Y/N," he replied.
You never knew what to say when it came to this day, so you just handed Danny the envelope. "I, uh, I made a card for Ben," you said. "I don't know if you want to open it and read it or just put it somewhere, I just--"
"I'll open it, sweetheart," Gail interrupted and then took the card from her husband.
You had made the card out of light blue construction paper and had used a navy blue pen to write in your best cursive handwriting, Happy 14th birthday, Ben!, since blue was Ben's favorite color. You hadn't known what else to write, because, what else could you write? Tell him what he was missing out on with being gone and cry so hard while making the card that that marker smudged and bled through the other side of the construction paper? No, you couldn't do that. So, you had resorted to printing out some pictures of you and Ben (some with you, Ben, Jay, Allie, and the occasional one with Will) on computer paper, cut them out, and glued them inside the card. You wanted the card to be filled with happy, funny memories, not sad, sappy writing.
Gail let out a sad laugh. "When was this one taken?"
You looked at the picture she was pointing at. It was a selfie no doubt taken on Allie's old flip phone. In it, Jay and Allie were making funny faces and you and Ben were both smiling proudly because of the work you had done.
Jay was supposed to be babysitting you and Allie was supposed to be babysitting Ben since your parents and his parents had gone out for dinner together. You both should have been in bed in your own separate houses since there was a rule about Allie and Jay not hanging out alone together at home when there were no parents around, but you had lost count of how many times they had broken that rule.
It was around 11 at night when Ben had woken you up with two black, Crayola markers in his hand and had told you that both Jay and Allie were asleep on the couch. So, as quiet as you could, you both tip-toed into the living room, uncapped your markers, and got to work.
You knew they had seen the trouble you two had gotten into when you heard running. You and Ben giggled to yourselves as you heard the water running from the bathroom.
Soon enough, Jay flung your door open. And, you guys just couldn't help yourselves and started to laugh even harder.
Then, to get you back, Jay had tickled you and Allie tickled Ben. Once you had all calmed down, Allie suggested that the four of you take a picture. And, the next time Allie and Ben came over when Jay was babysitting, he was sure to hide all the markers on the top shelf of his bookshelf in his bedroom where there was no way either of you would be able to find them, let alone reach them.
"So, you and Allie did hang out together with no parental supervision," Danny chirped. "Don't do stupid things like your brother here, Y/N."
"Hey," Jay started to defend himself. "We learned our lesson...to hide the markers."
"Do you remember when he got in trouble for pushing some kid on the playground, Gail?" Danny asked his wife.
"Oh, how could I forget that! I got a call from the school saying that Ben was in trouble and I knew on my way over there that he'd be grounded from the tv for weeks. But, then in the car on the ride home, he explained to me that some kid in his grade was telling Y/N she couldn't play with them since she was a grade below them. Then, he pushed him down and said that, yes, she could play."
"You never told me the full story of that, Y/N. What's this kid's name?" Jay asked.
"Jay, it was years ago! Give the overprotective big brother thing a rest, would you?"
"Would you kids like some cake?" Gail asked.
You swallowed. Chocolate on chocolate cake, Ben's favorite and yours. But, now on your birthday, you'd switched to marble just so that you wouldn't be reminded of how Ben would never see you on your birthday again.
Jay noticed your discomfort and how you probably didn't want to start bawling your eyes out just because you didn't want Gail and Danny to start crying, as well. Even though they'd probably done enough crying today as it was.
"Actually, we gotta run. I have to get Y/N home because she has homework to do and I have some police business to tend to," Jay answered, sensing your discomfort as the good detective he was.
"At least let me give you a slice to go," Gail suggested.
Abruptly, Danny stood up and shoved his chair under the table, and left the kitchen. You heard a door slam.
You widened your eyes for a split second and then quickly regained your composure. His son was dead and his killer was still on the loose; he had every right to lash out.
"This is always a tough day for him," Gail started. "He won't eat it. I just end up throwing it out."
Jay nodded. "Small slice." He turned to look at you. "And an even bigger slice for her."
Gail went over to a cupboard and pulled out two Tupperware containers and then two plastic forks from a drawer. Then, she cut two slices of cake and placed them inside the containers, handing you the one that contained the bigger slice.
"Thank you," you said.
"Yes, thank you," Jay agreed. "And, if there's anything either you or Danny need, please don't hesitate to call me."
Gail nodded and the two of you left the Corson's house, cake in hand.
"Happy birthday, Ben," you whispered when you were walking down the steps.
Then, when you got back to your house, Jay pulled out his keys and unlocked his car. "Hop in," he told you.
"Where are we going?" you asked. "I thought you had some police stuff to do?"
"You know how on Mom's birthday, we always go to the cemetery and plant flowers?" he asked. You nodded. That day was always full of crying despite how old you got. Hell, even Jay cried. It was one of the only times that he'd let his guard down and let his emotions take over in full force. "Look in the backseat."
There, sitting on the backseat on a towel so that dirt wouldn't get everywhere, was a carton full of Morning Glories. "Blue. Ben's favorite color."
"Yeah," Jay said, the volume of his voice almost a whisper. "We just have to make a quick pitstop first and then we'll go and plant them." You both buckled up and then Jay actually realized that he might have overlooked something. "You don't actually have a ton of homework to get done, do you?"
"No, even if I did, I wouldn't be able to focus on it." You took a bite of the birthday cake. "Does it get any easier?"
"Does what get any easier?" he asked, while still keeping his eyes on the road, his cake forgotten.
"You know, losing people. I know it'll be hard every year for Mom because she was our mom--"
"First of all, she's still our mom, Y/N. No one is going to replace her. Second of all, continue."
"Sorry, I know you got more time with her and knew her better than I did--"
"Listen, if you ever want to hear stories about Mom or Mom and Dad or anything like that, just ask me. I know you were just a kid, hell you are still just a kid, but you can always ask me about her. Always, okay?"
You nodded, feeling grateful that you at least had one brother who looked out for you. Lord knows Will didn't since he was barely home. You didn't hold a grudge against him or anything like Jay did, you just felt like he wasn't there. And, you knew that him not being there had hurt Jay, so it was hard for the three of you to all act like siblings when you felt like you'd need to jump in and stop a fight between your brothers at any moment. If it was just you and Will or just you and Jay, your relationship was great. But, when it was the three of you together, you could practically feel the tension between Will and Jay.
"So, does it get easier? Losing friends I mean. Like, when their birthdays come around or the day they died, does your heart feel like it isn't being ripped out of your chest every second of those days?"
You assumed that Jay had lost friends when he was overseas, which was why he came home from his second tour a year earlier than scheduled. That and your mom was sick.
"That's how you're feeling with Ben? Why didn't you tell me?" he asked.
"I knew you had your own stuff going on with being a detective and all and I know you think you know who did it and I don't want you going to prison."
"Whoa, whoa, whoa. My job will never be more important than you." It might be more important than Will, he thought to himself. But, you didn't need to know that piece of information. "But, to answer your question, no it doesn't get any easier. I mean it kinda does, because the pain of losing them isn't as fresh as the years go by, but the day still sucks no matter how many years it's been."
"Then how do you deal with? When those days of the year roll around?"
"Distract yourself to try and forget. But, pretend I didn't tell you that. Go talk to someone instead."
"That's not what you do though, is it? Talk to someone?"
"Do as I say, kid. Do as I say, not as I do."
"Will you ever stop calling me kid? I'm thirteen, Jay!"
"Nope, in my head you're still that four-year-old with the Build-A-Bear."
He pulled the car up to the curb. You looked up as Jay put it in the park. "Why are we here?"
"Just, stay in the car, okay? I'm gonna be right outside, but I just have something I need to take care of."
"Okay."
You knew this house. You weren't going to tell Jay, but you walked past it every day when going to school because it was shorter than taking the route your parents had taught you to take. Jay was the one who actually taught you to take this route three years ago when he had walked you to school after Ben's death. But, he told you never to take this way to or from school when you were alone. But, seeing as it was five minutes faster and you were a teenager and cherished every second of sleep, you didn't listen and took this way every single school day.
Jay got out of the car and leaned up against it. Then, he opened his container of chocolate on chocolate birthday cake and began to eat it. You knew what he was doing. It was the reason he had taken this route to school with you. He told you it was because it was faster, but you knew it was because he wanted to tail Lonnie Rodiger...which you assumed was the reason why he didn't want you walking here alone. Because a pedophile lived here. Well, technically he wasn't a pedophile yet because he wasn't convicted, but you had heard enough conversations between Jay, Gail, and Danny when they all thought you were out of earshot to know that Lonnie was the one who killed your childhood best friend.
You saw Lonnie peak out through the curtains of one of the windows. And, if it weren't for Jay's water bottle that was sitting in the cupholder that you quickly took a swig of, you would've choked on your bite of cake.
A patrol car pulled up across the street and a uniformed cop came out. It was the same kind of uniform that Jay had been wearing the night you ran over to the Corson's house when it became a crime scene. You quickly wiped the few tears away at the memory of that night. If Jay got arrested, you knew you'd have to go with him because you couldn't drive. And, you didn't want to be crying in the back of a cop car while Jay was trying to talk his way out of an arrest.
Jay resisted the urge to roll his eyes. Of course, they called the cops! Of course, they did! They'd call the cops and arrest him for harassing a pedophile and a killer, but they wouldn't arrest Lonnie for being a pedophile and a killer.
"Can I see your driver's license?" the patrolman asked.
Jay lifted his shirt, revealing his badge and gun. Despite being off duty, he had it. He always had it when he came around the Rodiger house. If Lonnie struck first, then he'd have him on assaulting an officer...and have an excuse to kill the son of a bitch. It would be in self-defense after all. He feared serious bodily harm.
But, of course, that wasn't going to happen, not today anyway.
"Halstead. Intelligence," Jay answered.
"This is harassment!" Phil Rodiger yelled as marched outside and pointed at Jay, Lonnie right behind him.
"Just eating some birthday cake," Jay said, poking the cake with his plastic fork. "Today would've been a birthday."
You felt your lip begin to tremble.
Don't cry, don't cry, don't cry, you kept telling yourself.
But, it was no use. It was just those three words: would have been.
It would have been Ben's fourteenth birthday if he was still here and if he wasn't buried in the ground in the cemetery, a high collared shirt on to hide the strangulation marks that Lonnie gave him when he wrapped a rope around his neck and pulled, choking him to death.
If he were still here, he would've had a birthday party. It might have been small with only a few people. You might not even have been invited because you're in middle school and middle schoolers like to talk. And, maybe, if you had been invited, people would have said that he had a crush on you and teased him about it.
Maybe, the early stages of puberty would have hit Ben by now and he would have become what you deemed to be cute. Maybe, he would've had a crush on you and you would've had a crush on him if he was still around. But, he would forever be stuck in your head as your best friend, no romantic feelings whatsoever, since he only lived to be eleven years old.
"Arrest him!" Phil Rodiger yelled, snapping you out of your thoughts. "Get him out of here!"
This was it. Maybe the patrolman wouldn't notice you were in the car and you could sneak back home in a few minutes and call Erin, get her to talk to Voight about getting your brother out of lockup. (Yes, you had Erin's number because you needed questions answered that would make your dad and Jay uncomfortable. Even though Will was a doctor, there was no way you would ask him about girl stuff, even though you were pretty sure he had heard and seen it all in New York.)
"Sorry, pal," the patrolman said.
Okay, so you wouldn't be dragged into the back of a patrol car and also wouldn't have to help Jay beat a charge. Thank god your brother was a part of Chicago's famous Intelligence Unit.
You set your cake on the dashboard. You couldn't take it anymore. If Jay wasn't going to say it, you would.
Jay heard the passenger side door open and whipped his head around. "Y/N," he warned. "Get back in the car."
"He killed my best friend, Jay!" you yelled, tears running down your cheeks. "What do you want me to do? Sit in the car and watch him just get away with it?"
The patrolman's eyes grew wide. Seeing that made you realize what you had just said.
You just accused Lonnie of murder.
"Y/N!" Jay yelled. You looked up to see that he had thrown his cake on the ground. "Get back in the car!"
Okay, so Jay's scary when he's angry, noted.
You made your way around the car and into the passenger seat. Then, you just watched as Jay talked to the patrolman, trying to sort this all out.
You didn't mean to do it. It just came out.
You fucked up. Maybe you were going to be the one arrested this time. And, since you weren't a cop, there'd be no way to easily get out of those handcuffs.
You put your head in your hands and changed the radio station, trying your best to make sure you didn't hear the conversation between Jay and the patrolman.
Soon, the patrolman sped off. You were safe. But, Lonnie and Phil were still standing across the street, outside, watching Jay, watching you.
"Get outta here!" Phil yelled.
Jay was almost to the car when he turned around, rage painted on his freckled face. "Three years ago today, Lonnie! Three years! He would've been fourteen! Fourteen!"
"I'm gonna call my lawyer! I'm getting a restraining order!" Phil promised.
"Yeah? Well, I'm gonna give you a reason to need one someday! You and your sick-ass son!"
He slammed the door shut, but you didn't look at him, just kept your gaze on the world outside the passenger side. Jay turned the key and his car roared to life. You heard him sigh, but didn't say a word.
"Look, I'm sorry," he began as he started driving.
"So you get to confront him but when I try it's all get back in the car, Y/N?" you quoted his words from earlier using a mocking tone.
"Lonnie's fu- he's messed up in the head, okay? I don't want him to have any reason to come after you. We both know what he did to Ben and I wish we could nail him on that, but right now, with the evidence that there is, it just can't happen. I'm sorry, I just wanted to keep you safe. I couldn't live with myself if that psycho did anything to you."
"I guess you have a point."
"I always have a point."
Ten minutes later you pulled up to the cemetery. Jay grabbed the small bag of tools and you carried the flowers, not without being warned every thirty seconds not to tip them at all so that they didn't fall out. It was the same thing as when you'd plant them at your mom's grave: you'd always be the one to carry the flowers, but they'd always warn you to be careful with them and then say that you weren't carrying them next year...and then they'd forget they'd said that and the process would repeat itself.
"I'll dig up the first bit of dirt and then you can help me. The top part's always the hardest," Jay said once you had made it to Ben's grave and he started rummaging through the tools.
"Okay." You didn't know what else to say. You just stared at the headstone. You wished he'd just come back to as a ghost or spirit or something for a minute--literally just sixty seconds--so that he could tell you that Lonnie did it.
Twenty minutes later, you and Jay stood up and admired your work. There were flowers there already from the Corson family, but the blue gave even more color to the normally dismal place.
"I'm gonna go find a trash can," Jay said as he picked up the empty plastic pots that the flowers came in. "Give you some time alone."
You nodded, not knowing what to say. Even when Jay left you had no idea what to say. It had been three years, so you didn't feel like you needed to talk to Ben. After all, if he was in heaven, he was looking down on you and knew what was going on in your life, so there was no reason to tell him about it. And, he was a kid, so he had to have gone to heaven, right?
"I'm sorry," you whispered. "I'm so, so sorry."
You heard thunder rumble from above, which drowned out the sound of your choked sobs. The grass beside you started to get wet from the drizzle that had just started, but by how many seconds there were between each clap of thunder, you knew a downpour was just a matter of minutes away.
So many things could have gone differently that night. If Ben had come over to your house to spend the night, he'd still be here. You knew you couldn't change anything. Hell, you didn't even talk about having a sleepover that night, that week, or even that weekend. And, the night he was murdered was a school night, so your dad wouldn't have let Ben spend the night anyway. There was nothing you could have done.
Despite how many years passed, you wondered if you wouldn't have fallen asleep so fast that night if you would have been able to hear screams and called 911 for help. Maybe he'd still be alive if you couldn't fall asleep that night. Maybe, if Jay was off-duty that day and if there was a Blackhawks game on that night, he would've come over and you would've insisted on staying up late and ended up falling asleep on the couch. But, because of Jay being very observant, maybe he would've seen something, heard something, or even just felt that something was very wrong and could've stopped it and arrested Lonnie before it ended tragically.
You felt something wrap around your arms and looked up to see that Jay was back. You felt goosebumps on your body and that's when you realized your hair was sopping wet and water was dripping down the side of your face and was soaking your jeans and shirt.
You heard the pitter-patter of raindrops hitting the large umbrella that Jay usually stowed in his trunk and pulled Jay's jean jacket that he just laid over your shoulders tighter around yourself.
He picked up his tools and turned to you. "You ready? Can't have you getting sick."
"How long have I just been crouched here?" you asked. You knew your thoughts sometimes got the best of you and before you knew it, an hour could've passed when your mind was focused on one subject.
"Until I thought you were going to freeze to death and get sick. And, it's only been about fifteen minutes. I ran to the bathroom and then grabbed the umbrella out of the car. You ready?" he repeated.
You wiped your eyes, not knowing if it was dried tears or dried raindrops on your cheeks. "Uh, yeah."
Jay picked up the bag of tools and you walked back to the car, the umbrella being big enough for both of you to fit underneath.
Once in the car, you slipped off Jay's jean jacket and tried to hand it back to him. "No, at least wear it until we get home. Dad'll kill me if he sees that you're sopping wet and then he'll think that I just left you out in the rain."
"Brother of the year." And, despite the circumstances, both of you laughed.
***
Math homework is due tomorrow...why does math have letters anyway? I'm never gonna need this in life. Snap out of it, Y/N. You can focus on that later. Just focus on the walk home. You have to be careful now since you're walking by their house.
You tried to turn your attention to the world ahead of you, or more accurately, the road and houses in front of you. You needed to be on high alert since you were about to walk past the Rodiger house. And, they saw you now...hopefully, they hadn't filed a restraining order against you, too. As far as you knew, it was just Jay, but you didn't need to have Jay get you out of trouble today.
Your eyes darted across the street to the house, while you tried to make sure you didn't cast your glance there too long as to be suspicious. It was Jay's job to be suspicious while walking past this house. It was your job to get to and from school safely when walking past this house. You'd leave the detective/spying/surveillance stuff to Jay.
You tried to focus on the road straight ahead of you, but it was no use when you saw movement out of the left side of your peripheral vision.
You turned and gasped. They turned too, and now you were frozen in place.
He widened his creepy eyes and stared back at you, like a deer caught in the headlights, like a criminal caught in the act because right now, that's what you assumed he was.
You felt your breath catch in your throat, neither of you breaking eye contact.
Then, you took off running. No way in hell were you telling your dad what just happened. One time he caught you walking home this way and said if he found out that you walked to or from school this way again that you'd be grounded for an undisclosed amount of time.
No one needed to know that you had just seen Lonnie Rodiger with duct tape and rope, the two things everyone assumed he had used to kill Ben Corson. No one needed to know. Just shut your mouth and don't tell anyone and everything would be fine. You would be fine.
***
Jay was sitting across from Antonio at Molly's, slowly sipping on the bit of whiskey left in his glass. "You knew the family?" Antonio asked him.
"He's the younger brother of a girl I dated in high school. Was Y/N's best friend, too. And his parents, Danny and Gail, they came to my graduation from the academy." When my dad wouldn't because he hates all my life choices. Probably hates me, too, Jay wanted to add but stopped himself. "I still see 'em on what would be Ben's birthday. Y/N comes too and god, you know what she asked me this year, Antonio?" Antonio shook his head. "She asked me if their birthdays or the day they died gets easier when it rolls around every year. She's thirteen! She shouldn't have to remember his birthday. Ben should be alive and Y/N should be seeing him on his birthday. But now all she probably remembers on his birthday is seeing his lifeless body lying in the grass...that's probably what she remembers." He took another sip of whiskey.
"Wait, you're saying your little sister saw the body at the crime scene?" Antonio asked.
"Uh, yeah. Me and my partner were first on scene. And...I see a shoe. I push the reeds back because Gail used to have this huge garden with really nice grass, reeds, flowers, other things. And, now she doesn't because it reminds her too much of that night.
"But uh, anyway, I pushed those reeds back..." He swallowed and tried to keep the tears at bay. He couldn't cry. Not in front of his mentor; not in front of the detective who got him into Intelligence in the first place, even if it was only because he caught a bullet in the process of trying to help Gabby and everyone's favorite after-shift hangout spot, Molly's. "And there he is. I still see his face."
Antonio took a swig of his beer. "How'd your sister find him?"
"My dad told me later that she had heard and seen the sirens and went to wake him up and then they came over to see what was going on. She was only nine, hell, she even had her teddy bear with her when they came outside. She was small and easy to miss. Before anyone could stop her...she, uh, she ducked under the crime scene tape and she saw him. I will never forget how she screamed out Ben's name.
"Then, I ran over to her and tried to block him from view, but you know as well as I do, Antonio, that seeing a body like that, well the damage is already done. So, then I just took her home and my partner explained the situation to my sergeant so that I didn't get in trouble for just leaving a crime scene. I never told her about the rape, just that he was dead. She probably put the pieces together that he was raped since she's gotten older, but I didn't heave the heart to tell her."
Antonio nodded. If he was in the same position as Jay was and Gabby was in your position, he knew he'd do the same exact thing. "I remember his dad alibied him out," Antonio stated. "But, they never had anything on Lonnie. Nothing?"
"No," Jay scoffed. "They caught him jerkin' it outside an elementary school a week prior to finding Ben. They found fucking kiddie porn on his computer. A-And secret pictures that he'd taken of Ben."
"You gotta be kidding me."
"Nuh-uh. We all knew Lonnie did it. But, you know, his dad lied." Jay shrugged. "And, uh, they got a good lawyer for that sick of a bitch."
Jay took a sip of his whiskey, blinking back tears. Antonio sighed and looked at the young detective. "Hey, be careful. You hear me?"
"I know, I just--" Jay was cut off by his phone ringing. He looked at it. Why's Dad calling at 11 o'clock at night? Why is Dad calling me at all?
He declined the call.
"Who was that?" Antonio asked.
"Not important. Anyway, I'll be care--" His phone started ringing again. "Dammit," he muttered and then pressed the answer icon. "Yeah?"
"J-Jay?"
"Y/N? What are you still doing up? Don't you have school tomorrow?"
"I didn't want to tell you because you and Dad always tell me not to walk there by myself, but I saw him and he saw me and I thought I'd be fine but now I can't sleep and--"
"Whoa, whoa. Take a breath, okay?"
You took a deep, shaky breath as few tears slipped down your face. You tried not to think about your encounter with Lonnie earlier today, but as you tried to sleep and the darkness took over the world, you couldn't stop your thoughts from running rampant. What if he was going to use that duct tape and rope on you now because he had seen you? Kill all the witnesses so that there wouldn't be a trial and he wouldn't get convicted?
"Now, tell me again what happened," Jay said calmly, all his cop instincts taking over and talking to as if you were a victim for the time being. "This time slower."
"I took the way home from school that you taught me to take and tell me to never take alone--"
"Y/N," Jay wiped a hand over his face. "Me and Dad told you not to go that way by yourself."
"I know, but I saw Lonnie and he had supplies and he saw me. I thought it was fine but now I can't sleep and--"
"Y/N," Jay started again. "Slow. Down. You saw Lonnie?"
At the mention of that name, Antonio looked up.
"Yeah," you answered, trying to slow your rate of speaking. "He had- he had rope and duct tape. And- and he saw me. I'm scared. I'm so scared, Jay. What if he comes after me now?" You covered your mouth with your hand to stop your dad from hearing your sobs. You assumed he was sleeping, and if he wasn't you hoped he didn't notice that you were on the phone. All he had to do was pick it up and see line in use and then you'd be in trouble for walking that way.
"Y/N, listen to me. I'm not gonna let that happen. I'm gonna leave Molly's right now and then be over there. Are you in your room?"
"Yeah."
"Is Dad still up?" Jay asked.
"I-I don't know."
"Okay, just stay put and I'll be there as soon as I can. And, we can explain it to Dad together, alright?"
"Okay. You promise you'll be here soon?"
"I promise. I'm leaving Molly's right now."
"Okay."
"I'm gonna hang up now."
"Okay, bye Jay."
Jay ended the call and started putting on his jacket. "What was that all about?" Antonio asked.
"Y/N took the fastest route home from school today, which goes by the Rodiger place. She said she saw Lonnie and he had duct tape and rope with him. He saw her, Antonio."
"Shit." Antonio pulled out his wallet and threw a few bills on the table. "I got it. I'll be right behind you."
"Thanks, man."
***
Jay slowly turned the key in the lock and opened the door, Antonio following him. "Dad?" Jay asked.
"Jay?" he answered from the living room, sounding as if he had just woken up from falling asleep in front of the tv. "What are you doing here?"
"I can explain if you wanna go check on Y/N, Jay," Antonio suggested.
"Yeah, yeah that'd be great. Thanks, man."
You heard knocking at your door, causing you to draw in a deep breath. "Y/N? Open up, it's Jay."
You set Beary down--yes when you were scared you still liked to have your Build-A-Bear in your hand because it gave you comfort--and then stood up from your bed to open the door.
"Jay." You launched yourself into his arms before he could even comprehend what was happening. "I'm so scared. What if he comes after me?"
Jay wrapped his arms around you and ran his hand up and down your back, just like he had done a few years ago when he had brought you back home after you had seen Ben's lifeless body lying in the grass. "Shhh, shhh it's okay. You're okay." Now he was most definitely using the tone he used when talking to child victims.
"What if he- what if he comes after me though, Jay?" you asked, soaking his shirt with tears of fright.
"Hey," he pulled away. "Look at me." You looked up at your older brother. "I will not let that happen. Ever. You understand me?" You nodded. "Now, how about you pack a bag, and then you can stay at my place until this all blows over."
"Why?"
Jay sighed. "Just, please do it."
You pulled out a peach-colored duffle from your closet.
"I'll be right downstairs if you need me."
He walked downstairs to see your dad still sitting on the living room couch with Antonio sitting in the chair across from him. "I'm taking Y/N to my place for a few days until this whole thing gets sorted out," Jay announced.
"She was walking that way because you taught her how to take it!" Pat Halstead bellowed as he stood up off the couch and pointed an accusing finger at his youngest son. "If you had never walked that way when you took her to school, then we would never be in this position!"
"We?" Jay asked rhetorically. "I don't recall Y/N telling me that you were with her when she saw that sick son of bitch walking home with his weapons of choice! It's Y/N that's in this position! Not me, not you, not us, Y/N."
"She's my daughter!"
"Yeah, I gathered that," Jay scoffed. "At least you care about her...unlike how you weren't there for me and Will. Or, if my memory serves me correctly, it was when I was in my early teens when you stopped caring. So, I expect in the next two years that you'll stop taking good care of Y/N and stop showing up to her games, like you did for me and Will. Oh, and you'll start questioning her life choices, just like you did almost every damn day to both me and Will."
"It's not my fault that you made a stupid decision with your life and Will decided to leave and waste all his money and to do what? To go to Sudan and then to New York?"
"There you go again, same old same old. You want us to be here, but whenever we are, we just end up fighting."
"Okay, okay," Antonio butted in. "How about we all take a breath and then talk about what's gonna happen next."
Jay took a deep breath and rolled his eyes. Your dad sat back down on the couch and crossed his arms in front of him.
"Good," Antonio began. "Y/N give you anything else about what she saw upstairs other than what she told you over the phone?"
"No," Jay answered. "She just told me that she's really scared that Lonnie's gonna come after her. Noting more about what she saw."
"Jay?" you asked as you poked your head into the living room, duffle bag slung over your shoulder. "I'm ready."
You said goodbye to your dad and then followed Jay to your car. He explained that Antonio was going to come to his apartment just for a little while so that they could discuss how they were going to proceed with the information you had given them. But, that you should go to sleep when you got to his apartment because it was a school night.
"Do I have to go to school tomorrow?" you whined as you set your bag down next to the couch...which would also be your bed until all this was cleared up.
"I know you're not going to get a lot of sleep, but yeah, as much as it sucks, you have to go to school tomorrow."
It was nearing 12:30 and you had to be up for school at 6:00 since school started before 7:30 in the morning. You'd be lucky if you managed five hours of sleep.
"Please, Jay," you begged. "My first two classes are just choir and gym, so I can miss those. And, I'm pretty sure if you called me in it'd count as an excused absence. Please?"
"Fine," Jay conceded. "But just because I think it's stupid how early school starts."
You heard a knock on the door. "Be right there, Antonio!" Jay said, trying to keep his yelling voice at somewhat of a normal level since people in the other apartments were sleeping.
"I'm gonna go grab a blanket," you told Jay.
You grabbed a blanket and threw it on the couch as Jay went to answer the door and let Antonio inside.
"Jay, I'm stealing one of your pillows," you told him as you entered his bedroom area.
"Actually, you can take my bed for tonight," he suggested.
You cocked an eyebrow at him. In all the nights you had spent at Jay's apartment in the past few years when your dad had to work late or went out, you had always slept on that couch. And, it was because it was actually comfortable. (Jay's reasoning was that he didn't want to get one of his nightmares that happened a handful of times per year and break his hand from hitting the coffee table in his sleep because he was thinking that it was an enemy because he thought he was back in Afghanistan. But, of course, you didn't know that.)
"It's just because I need to talk to Antonio and I don't need you having easy access to the conversation."
You nodded, tiredness overtaking you. "Alright." You yawned. "I'm going to bed. 'Night guys."
Jay and Antonio both said goodnight and then you walked into Jay's bedroom area and slid the sliding doors closed. During that time, the two detectives each took a seat at the kitchen table.
"We can put a patrol car out in front of Lonnie's house," Jay suggested.
"You know we can't do that," Antonio told him.
"Well, why not? You know he's gonna kill again!" Jay resisted the urge to slam his fist down on the table.
"You have no solid proof. I know you believe Y/N, and I do, too, but we don't have proof. If we had cam or pod footage, we might be able to do that. But, as far as we know, we don't have that. Nothing's been reported or called in. Hell, for all we know Lonnie's doing a DIY project."
"So get his credit card records and security footage from the store," Jay growled.
"You know as well as I do Halstead, that we can't do that without a warrant. And for a warrant, we're gonna need sufficient evidence. And, the word of your sister just isn't gonna cut it this time. Sorry, man."
Jay sighed and put his head in his hands, then looked back up at Antonio. "I just can't let him do it. I can't let him kill another kid."
"I know. Believe me, neither you nor me want that, but for now, we just need to wait until the right time. And you, need to get some sleep."
"I guess you're right. Maybe sleep would help me figure out how to solve this thing."
***
Jay had just dropped you off at school--he had called the school and excused your absences from your first two classes--and was walking out of a small coffee shop a few blocks away from the district when his phone rang.
"What do you got, Jin?" Jay asked. Benefits of working in Intelligence and having a tech guy for the unit: getting him to dig into things under the table.
"That Lonnie Rodiger credit card you wanted me to track," Jin started on the other end of the line, "Just got a hit from a toy store downtown."
"Text me the address."
A few seconds later, Jin had texted Jay the address and he jumped in his car and made his way into the heart of downtown Chicago.
Then, he sat in his car and stared at the store, waiting for the scrawny, creepy-ass pedophile slash murderer to make his way out of it.
When Lonnie walked out, Jay just stared at him. If he got made, so what? He was in his car. He could say he was doing surveillance for another case that he couldn't talk about right now because it was an open investigation. But, he wouldn't be able to blame surveillance of an ongoing investigation for strangling Lonnie to death, killing him the exact same way as he had killed Ben Corson three years ago.
Lonnie was carrying a bag full of what Jay assumed were toys. The toys, the rope, the duct tape, Lonnie was going to strike again. And, Jay had to act fast to ensure that another kid didn't get their life taken away just because this bastard had sick, twisted fantasies.
Jay was about to call Jin back, see what else he could pull up on him, anything that gave him an excuse to call Atwater and Burgess to arrest him. But, his phone rang.
"Go for Jay," he answered.
"Where you at?" Voight asked on the other end of the line. "I know you came in late because of your sister, but I need you now."
"I'm on my way in," he lied.
"Good. We're in Chinatown. I'll send you the address."
"Oh, Sarge?"
"Yes, Halstead?"
"Do you mind if I leave for a bit around 2:15ish? It's just, Y/N has a doctor's appointment and my dad's working and I don't want her taking the bus--"
"Jay," Voight interrupted, "Take your sister to her appointment. I'll just send the address of where we're gonna be if we aren't at the district. Just, keep your phone on."
"Thanks, Sarge."
Of course, that appointment was a lie; Jay just wanted to pick you up from school and then drop you off at his apartment while he went back to work so that you wouldn't be at home where Lonnie could find you. But, Jay had to push that out of his mind right now because he was on another case with his unit that needed solving, his side case on Lonnie Rodiger needed to be put on the backburner...at least for the next few hours.
***
"Lonnie Rodiger's credit card," Jin said as Jay entered the tech room.
"Yeah, I know, I'm working on a court order so I don't get my ass handed to me by Voight, I know," Jay replied.
"Okay...you deal with that. All I was gonna say was that another hit came up from his card at a Home Depot in Humboldt Park. He bought..." Jin clicked some keys on his computer until the list of things Lonnie purchased popped up. "A two-person tent, a kerosene lamp, and some bug spray. A rapist-murderer planning a camping trip? Not much you can get him on with just that."
"Any chance he purchased rope and duct tape?" Jay asked.
Jin scrolled through the list of items again. "Not that I see here. Why?"
"Not important. Thanks for the help, Jin."
Jay walked back into the bullpen, about to grab his jacket and head into the locker room when Voight emerged from his office at the same time. "Halstead, my office."
"I told you to let the Rodiger thing go months ago," Voight told Jay when the door was securely shut.
"I have...for the most part." I have...until my sister got involved and told me he bought duct tape and rope and now she's staying at my place so that I can protect her from that sick-ass son of a bitch.
"If you're not straight with me, I can't protect you."
"You? Protect me? I don't need protecting, Sarge, but thanks for the offer. I'll keep it in mind if I  ever go off the rails and kill someone."
"Jay, listen to me! What the hell is going on with you? You got here later than usual today, which I know you said is because of your sister, but you look exhausted like you haven't slept in days. And don't think I didn't notice that you've been constantly checking your phone when we weren't out in the field."
Jay sighed. "I think Lonnie's gonna kill another kid."
"Jay, I know that kid's family was like your own. But, you gotta be careful. You've got eyes on you. And, it's not just me this time."
"Copy that." Then, Jay exited his sergeant's office, grabbed his jacket off his chair, and headed to the locker room. Damn, did he really want to go home after that conversation with his boss.
"You headin' to Molly's, Jay?" Adam asked as they grabbed their stuff from the locker room.
"Nah, man. I got some stuff I gotta take care of," Jay replied. "Maybe another night."
"If you say so."
***
You were sitting on the couch reading a book when you heard a knock at Jay's apartment door. "Y/N, it's Jay, open up."
You got up and unlocked the door, letting him into his own apartment. "Why didn't you just unlock it yourself? Or, did I get your only key?
"Nope, you got my spare. I have mine." He pulled his keyring out of the front pocket of his jeans and set it down on the counter. "Just didn't want to scare you is all."
"Thanks, greatly appreciated. What are you hiding behind your back? And what smells so good?" you asked, seeing as Jay hadn't moved his left hand from behind his back and was trying really hard to make sure you didn't see what was there. Even when he had walked inside the apartment from the hallway, he still somehow hid it behind his back and out of your view. And, the smell of greasy food was starting to waft around the apartment so you had a pretty good idea what he was hiding.
He pulled a takeout bag from behind his back. "I got us Arby's!"
"Really? Did you get me mozzarella sticks?" you asked trying to grab the bag from him, but he held it out of your reach.
Jay chuckled at your excitement. "Yes, I got you mozzarella sticks. Now, let me get this out of the bag and you can get the game set up?"
"Okay!" You sat on the couch and turned on the Blackhawks game that was going to start in five minutes. "It's ready!"
"Be right there!"
A minute later, Jay passed you a plate which contained an original roast beef and cheddar sandwich and of course, your precious mozzarella sticks and a few packs of Arby's and marinara sauce.
"Uh," Jay groaned as he lowered himself onto the couch.
"You're getting old," you laughed.
"I am not!" he protested.
"Yes, you are! Only old people sigh like that when they go to sit down!"
"Well, excuse me for having to chase psychos around the city for a living." You reached over and grabbed a few curly fries off his plate, hoping he was distracted enough by your old Jay comment that he didn't notice...he did. "Hey!"
"Oops." You squirted some Arby's sauce on your plate and dipped a curly fry in it. "Good." Jay just continued to stare at you. "Fine, here," you said as you handed him a mozzarella stick.
"You're not gonna offer me any marinara?"
You tossed him a pack. "Better?"
"Better." Both he and you turned your attention to the tv. "Remember, end of the second period, it's bedtime."
"Jay," you whined. "Please can I stay up and watch the entire game?"
"No, because I am not calling you in late tomorrow and getting to work later than usual because of it." Luckily today we didn't catch a case until around 10 o'clock this morning, so it didn't matter that I was late and tailing Lonnie anyway. "And, you're gonna be a grouch if you don't enough sleep."
"Jay! I am not grouchy!"
"Yes, Y/N, you are! Whoa, a fight!" And while your attention was quickly focused on the tv, Jay stole some of his curly fries back.
***
Jay walked into the district the next morning to be met with Erin and Alvin. "Did you guys catch the game last night?" he asked them as he slipped off his jacket and slung it over his desk chair. "Eighteen seconds into overtime, Kane scores a backhander. Guy's on fire this season."
Despite Jay telling you that you needed to go to bed after the end of the second period, the game was so good that he let you stay up to watch it all...the one caveat being that you had to get up in the morning with no complaint. And, you didn't complain one single time even though you almost fell asleep with your toothbrush hanging out of your mouth when you were getting ready this morning.
Neither Erin nor Alvin had said anything, they just stared at Jay with worried looks on both their faces. "What's with you two?" Jay furrowed his eyebrows and walked closer to them.
"Halstead," Voight said after he opened his office door.
Jay's eyes widened. Shit, what'd I do now?
"Commander," Jay said as he saw Commander Perry standing in Voight's office. So, even when I'm a grown man, there's still a version of the principal's office. Who knew? Except, this principal controls my job...which means he controls my money. Whatever he thinks I did, it wasn't me.
"Halstead. Have a seat," Commander Perry told the detective.
"I'll stand." Jay placed his hands on his hips.
"Okay then. Where were you last night after shift?"
"Home. Why?"
"So, you're telling me you didn't go out at all last night?"
"I started to drive home from work, but then I turned around because I thought my little sister might want Arby's for dinner. If you want to count a drive-thru as going out, then yes I went out."
"And after that?" Commander Perry prodded.
"Me and my sister watched the Hawks game and I was in bed by midnight."
Commander Perry picked up some black and white photos that were taken from traffic cam footage and held them out to Jay, pointing at specific a specific car. "This was taken last night, right as you pulled into that Arby's. That's Rodiger and that's you, right behind him."
"Okay, so I happened to be getting my takeout behind a pedophile. Maybe he just wanted some curly fries, Lord knows Y/N did when she stole some of mine last night."
"Halstead!" Voight barked. "This isn't a laughing matter! Now shut up and listen!"
Jay clasped his hands behind his back.
"Well, Detective, your alleged pedophile was found dead this morning."
"What?"
"So until this is straightened out, I suggest you find a better excuse than just watching a hockey game and eating fries with your impressionable little sister. Until then, you are officially stripped. Expect a call from Internal Affairs. They'll want to interview you as soon as possible."
"You mean they'll want to interrogate me as soon as possible."
"Jay!" Voight's voice boomed off the walls of the small office.
"I'm the one who wanted to stop that freak! And now I'm the target? Unbelievable!"
Jay flung open the door and was about to storm out when the Commander stopped him. "Halstead!"
"What? I tried to save my sister from this psycho because she saw him buy duct tape and rope and he knows that she saw him! So, excuse me for trying to make sure that my sister stays safe and doesn't end up like Ben Corson!"
"Y/N saw something?" Voight asked. "Why didn't you tell me? I could've helped you."
"I told Antonio, but that's only because we were at Molly's when Y/N called me freaking out. And that's why she's staying with me because Lonnie knows where we live and I didn't want to get a call saying that my sister was murdered and--"
"Halstead, if that's the truth then this isn't just based on your word. We have a witness now. So, I'll talk to Detective Dawson and you go pick up your sister from school. We need her here for questioning. But, you are still stripped until we get this all sorted out."
***
"Can you please send Y/N Halstead to the office please?" the office secretary's voice came over your classroom intercom. "She'll be leaving for the rest of the day."
You furrowed your eyebrows. Leaving for the rest of the day? What? The last time you had to leave for the rest of the day unexpectedly was when your mom died.
"I'll send her down," your teacher replied.
"Alright, thank you." Then, she turned to you. "I'll have your missed work ready for you on Monday, Y/N, and I can email the other teachers you have today that you'll be missing their classes as well if you'd like?"
"That'd be great. Thank you."
"Have a great weekend, Y/N."
"Thank you. You too."
Then, you grabbed your books and made your way to your locker. Once you put everything you needed into your backpack, you made your way to the office. At least you were missing math and science class...you hated both of those subjects. Will got the brains when it came to those two.
But, your relief was short-lived when you saw Kim Burgess and Kevin Atwater standing in the office. You frantically pulled the door open. "Did something happen to Jay? Is he okay? Did he get hurt?"
"No, no, nothing like that," Kim quickly reassured you. "We just need to bring you down to the district is all."
"Why?" you asked, drawing out the word.
"It's better if your brother and Voight explain this to you. But, you are not in any trouble, Jay's not in any trouble, and he's fine," Kevin answered.
"Okay..."
They quickly signed you out and the three of you made your way to the parking lot where their squad car was parked. "Ever been in a patrol car, Y/N?" Kevin asked.
"No," you answered, opening the door to the backseat and throwing your backpack in.
"Well, today's your lucky day. We'll even let you control the music." The three of you got in and Kevin turned on the car and started fiddling with the controls on the radio. "Just tell me to stop when you hear a song you like."
***
"Jay!" you yelled as you ran up the stairs to Intelligence, your backpack bouncing up and down with every step you took. Jay walked out of the break room. You ran to him, narrowly missing Commander Perry. "What's going on? I didn't know I'd need to leave school and then Kim and Kevin came to pick me up and I thought you might be hurt but they said you weren't and--"
"Whoa, whoa," Jay cut you off. "Y/N, slow down. I'm okay. Everything's okay. Voight and Commander Perry here just need to ask you a couple of questions."
"But, I didn't do anything wrong."
"You're not in trouble, kid," Voight said. "Like your brother said, we just need to ask you a few questions and Jay will be with you the whole time."
Since neither Jay nor Voight could get ahold of your dad to get permission to talk to you, they had allowed Jay to sign off on it. And, since you were a minor, the person who signed that paperwork had to be in the room with you the entire time they were talking to you.
"You hungry?" Commander Perry asked as you sat down and Jay stood behind you. "You can grab a snack from the vending machine before we start if you'd like."
It was only 9:00 am. "No thank you," you replied. "I had breakfast a few hours ago and I'm still full from that. Thank you, though."
"You're welcome." He and Voight sat down across from you. "Now, you're probably wondering why you're here," Commander Perry started. "Your brother mentioned that you saw Lonnie Rodiger buy rope and duct tape?"
Your eyes widened and you drew in a breath. "Is he after me? Did he try and break into mine and Dad's house, Jay, because he was looking for me?"
"No, it's nothing like that," the commander interjected before you got worked up even more. "We just wanted to ask you what you saw is all."
You looked to Jay and he nodded, giving you the go-ahead to tell the two men what you had seen when you were walking home from school a few days ago. So, you did just that. You told them about walking home from school and seeing Lonnie with rope and duct tape and him seeing you.
"And you told your brother this?" Commander Perry asked.
"Uh, yeah, I wasn't going to tell him because I didn't want him to freak out or anything, but he always told me that if I saw anything off with Lonnie to tell him. And, I couldn't sleep that night, so I called him really late and he and Antonio came over."
"And what happened next?"
"Jay said that he wanted me to stay at his house until this all blew over because Lonnie saw me. He saw me. And, he knows where I live."
"So, Jay was trying to keep you safe?"
You nodded. "He's even been picking me up from school because he doesn't want me going home--to mine and my dad's place that is--to wait for him to pick me up after he's done with work. He's worried about me."
"Did he do anything else? Take you anywhere in the two days you've been staying with him?"
"No, nowhere other than school."
"Do anything fun?"
"He brought home Arby's last night and he let me stay up late and finish the Blackhawks game! Dad never lets me do that! And, they even won in overtime! And, I stole some of his curly fries."
"Do you know if he left last night after you went to bed?" Commander Perry asked.
"No, he didn't."
"And how can you be so sure about that? You were sleeping weren't you?"
Jay clenched his fists at his sides. You were a kid and this wasn't a trial, it was just getting a statement from you, not putting you on the witness stand.
"Jay never leaves me when he watches me at night. Never has and probably never will. Even when his girlfriend called when he watched me when I was little, he'd either make her come over to our house or would tell her that he was playing with me."
Voight chuckled at how you were spilling bits and pieces of Jay's life before he became a cop and entered his unit. He knew that Jay would never tell him these things, so it was funny hearing how protective and soft the big-shot detective of one of the most elite units of Chicago was with his little sister.
"Okay, thank you," Commander Perry said. "Do you know why we're asking you these questions?"
You shook your head, no.
"Halstead, you want to explain this. We'll butt in if needed," he said. He didn't know how much you knew about this alleged pedophile and murderer, so he figured it would be best to hand Jay the lead on the explanation portion.
Jay sat down in the chair next to you. "Y/N, you're not in trouble. I promise you that."
"You already told me that," you pointed out.
"I know, but I wanted to tell you again."
You furrowed your eyebrows and cocked your head to the side. "Then, why are they asking me questions about Lonnie and about you? Did he kill someone again? Like he did to Ben?"
Jay swallowed. He wasn't about to tell you the details of how someone murdered Lonnie Rodiger. Despite knowing the details of Ben's murder, you didn't need more gruesome pictures of murder in your teenage mind. "Um, Lonnie was found dead last night."
"And they think you did it, don't they?"
Jay's jaw dropped, all his years of being a stone-faced Army ranger and detective flying out the window as you quickly put the pieces together of why you were being talked to by his sergeant and commander. "What? How- Why would you assume that?"
"Dad's not good with turning his Law and Order down when he watches it at night so sometimes when I can't fall asleep, I'll listen to it and I'll hear the interrogation or trial scenes." You shrugged. Then, you turned your attention to Sergeant Voight and Commander Perry. "If you think my brother did it, I can tell you that he didn't because he was home with me all night. I even woke up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom and he was asleep on the couch with his mouth open and he was drooling." You scrunched up your nose in disgust at Jay's sleeping position last night.
"Alright, Sergeant, your unit can investigate this one. But, Halstead, not that I don't believe your sister, but you're still stripped until this gets all sorted out. Go home."
Jay nodded. "C'mon, Y/N. We can go grab lunch or something."
Jay ushered you out of the break room and you grabbed your backpack. "Halstead, what's going on?" Antonio asked, catching you and Jay on your way down the stairs.
"Just, give this case hell for me, Antonio, will you?"
***
"Is it wrong?" you asked Jay when you were driving away from the district. "That I'm glad Lonnie's dead that is?"
Jay sighed. "Listen, I know we shouldn't be glad about someone being dead, but in all honesty, kid, I'm glad he's dead, too."
"Because the world's a safer place?"
"Yeah." And because justice was served for the Corson family, but I'm not gonna talk to my little sister about killing someone for justice...I don't need her to turn into the female version of Hank Voight in twenty years.
"So, were you and Mouse glad when you killed the bad guys over in Afghanistan?"
Oh no, no, no, no, no. I am not about to have this conversation with her. I'm not about to have this conversation with anyone for that matter, much less with my very impressionable, middle-schooler, little sister. "What do you want for lunch? Mcdonalds? Burger King? Wendy's? Pizza Hut?"
"You never answered my question," you told him.
"And you never answered mine. So, what do you want for lunch?"
"Hmmm...I really like the chicken alfredo from Pizza Hut, so can we go there?"
"Pizza Hut it is."
"What are you gonna get? Wait, lemme guess...meat lover's pizza?"
"And, you would be correct."
You arrived at Pizza Hut, which was only half a block away from the Corson's. And, since it was also so close to your school, some high school seniors would come here for lunch...not that you had an open campus at school, but they'd dip out for lunch and then get back unnoticed before their next class. You wondered if you'd be brave enough to do that in high school. You didn't know and you had a few more years until you got to that grade anyway.
"Hey Detective Halstead," a woman greeted Jay.
"Oh, hey Rachelle," Jay said as you both walked up to the counter at Pizza Hut. "How's school going?"
"It's going great actually. And who's this?" she asked, motioning to you.
"This is my little sister, Y/N. Y/N, this is one of my best CIs, Rachelle."
"You're a CI? That's so cool! So you help my brother solve cases? He never tells me about anything he does, so what do you help him with?"
Jay placed a hand on your shoulder. "That's confidential information, kiddo. And don't go blabbing about her being a CI either, because she could get in trouble."
"Got it. She's just someone I know from coming here so much. I have no idea what you're talking about, Jay."
Jay laughed. "Alright, what can I get started for you two?" Rachelle asked.
"Actually, since you're here, I have a quick question for you."
"Okay, let's go around back," she replied, thinking he was going to ask her if she knew anything that might help them with a case.
"No, it's nothing like that. I was just wondering if you'd watch Y/N for a bit while I go run a quick errand? It'd be for twenty, thirty minutes tops."
She looked around the restaurant, it was practically empty. "Yeah, no problem. I can keep an eye on her."
"Awesome thanks. And, uh, she'll have the chicken alfredo and I'll have the meat lover's pizza."
Rachelle rang it up and then told Jay the total. He pulled out his wallet and paid for their food, not without placing a ten-dollar bill in the tip jar. "You didn't have to do that," Rachelle said.
"You're watching Trouble here for a bit, so yeah, I do."
"I am not trouble!" you protested. "Where are you going anyway?"
"Don't worry about it. I'll be back soon."
"But--"
"Hey, Y/N. You want a chocolate chip cookie? I think they just came out of the oven." You frantically nodded your head up and down. "Well, c'mon back here and I'll grab it for you."
She opened the piece of the counter that flipped up and you walked through. Then, she motioned for Jay to leave before you pressed him for more answers on where he was going.
***
"To be honest, I don't feel any sympathy," Danny Corson told Jay as he sat at the kitchen table next to his wife with Jay across from him. "Do the police have any idea who did it?"
Jay had come to the Corson household to tell them the news that Lonnie Rodiger was dead...and to ask Danny some questions that would not go on record.
"We're still trying to piece that together." Jay turned to the red-haired woman. "Gail, do you have ay milk for this?" he asked, holding out his coffee cup."
"Oh, yeah. Let me get it for you," Gail answered.
"Thank you," Jay said to Gail's retreating back as she left the table. Jay turned back to Danny. "They suspended me. They think I did it. So, if you did something, Danny, I need you to tell me now so that we can figure this out together."
"Jay, I have been fantasizing about it for years, but I didn't do it. After all you've done for this family though, if you need me to confess, then I will."
"No, no you will not. I will not let you, or me for that matter, go down for something neither of us did."
"So, you have no idea who did it?"
"At the moment, no."
Jay's phone rang and he held up a finger to tell Danny he'd just be a second. But, then he looked at who was calling him and he practically froze.
"Jay, you okay?" Danny asked.
"Uh, yeah, yeah, I'm fine." He accepted the call and placed his phone to his ear. "Rachelle? What's going on? Is Y/N okay?"
"Physically she's fine," she answered. "But, there's this guy yelling at her asking where you are and--"
"Tell me where he is! Your brother! My son is dead because of him!" Jay heard through the phone.
Phil Rodiger.
Jay drew in a breath. "I'm on my way."
He hung up and then turned to Danny and Gail. "I gotta go, I'm sorry. If I find out anything, you'll be the first to know." And then he ran out the door and ran as fast as he ever has to the Pizza Hut half a block away.
***
"He didn't do it!" you yelled. "He was home with me all night!"
"Yeah right! He probably told you to say that!"
"Y/N! Don't say another word!" Jay sprinted over to the booth where you were sitting, your pasta halfway eaten.
"You! You killed him!"
"Phil, we're in a public place. The cops can get called for a disturbance." Jay flicked his eyes to Rachelle and she nodded, picking up her phone.
"Fine! Then let them call the cops! I'll tell them that you killed him! You killed my son!"
He took a step closer to the side of the booth that you were sitting in and Jay quickly placed himself between you and Lonnie Rodiger's father. "You know what? I may have not killed him, but whoever did, did everyone in this world a real favor! Killing a pedophile and a murderer? I'd like to give the guy who killed your sick-ass bastard of a son a medal when they find him!"
"Jay!" you yelled, grabbing the back of his shirt and tugging it so that he would turn his attention back to you.
"Y/N, this is grown-up stuff. Butt out!" He turned back to Phil. "Lonnie brought this on himself and you know it!"
You saw a few people from the Intelligence Unit walking up to the building out of the corner of your eye. "Jay, shut the hell up!"
"You killed him!"
"For the last time, I didn't kill your sorry excuse for a son!"
"Police! Break it up!"
Jay was yanked away from you by none other than Antonio Dawson. Adam and Voight had each grabbed one of Phil's shoulders to keep him at bay. Erin knelt in front of you.
"Are you alright, Y/N?"
"Yeah, yeah, I'm fine."
"What the hell, Halstead?" Antonio yelled.
"Wre're taking you in," Voight told Phil Rodiger.
"Am I under arrest?"
"No, we just have some questions about last night we want to ask you is all. Why? Should you be under arrest?"
"No, but he should! I know you did it--"
"We'll talk to him," Voight said. "Don't you worry about that." He turned to Antonio. "You and Lindsay got this, bro?"
"Yeah, we got this," Antonio answered.
Voight nodded and then he and Ruzek escorted Phil Rodiger out of the building.
Antonio waited until Voight's car was safely out of the parking lot, before trying to lead Jay out of the building.
"Dude, I don't need a police escort. I can drive my car back home just fine," Jay protested.
"Jay, just come on. Or do I need to put you in cuffs?" He pulled his handcuffs out of his pocket and allowed them to dangle off his pointer finger.
"Tony, not here," Erin warned. "Not with Y/N watching."
You gasped. They weren't going to arrest Jay, were they? No, they wouldn't. They couldn't.
"Let's just go out to the car," Antonio said.
Once you were all in the car, Antonio driving, Erin in the passenger seat, and you and Jay in the back, did Jay finally address the elephant in the room...or, well, the elephant in the car. "Just so we're clear, I didn't kill Lonnie Rodiger. If I was gonna kill him, I would've done it the night he raped and murdered an eleven-year-old Ben Corson! I was this close, too!"
Your breath caught in your throat. You had assumed he had been raped, hell you had heard Jay talk about it with Gail and Danny, once with your dad, when they thought you were too far out of earshot to hear or thought that you were asleep. But, hearing Jay say it out loud, right in front of you, made it more real than hearing it when you weren't supposed to. And, hearing Jay say that had thoughts about killing Lonnie before...you didn't know how to feel about that. You had wanted him dead, just like Jay had (and how the Corson's probably did as well) but you never thought Jay would actually admit to wanting to kill him, much less say that he had been close to doing it.
"Shit, Y/N, I'm sorry I never told you about that," Jay said, his voice much quieter now. "I just, I didn't know how to tell you and you were ten, so you shouldn't have even known what rape was and I didn't want to explain it to you under those circumstances--"
"I knew," you told him.
"What?" he gasped as he furrowed his eyebrows. "How?"
"I heard you talking to the Corson's once when you thought I couldn't hear you and once when you were talking to Dad when you  both thought that I was asleep."
"Well, either way, I'm sorry you had to hear it from me like this. And, I'm sorry he had to go through that."
"Me too," you whispered.
Erin leaned back and handed Jay a file folder. He raised an eyebrow.
"Lonnie Rodiger's homicide file," Antonio told him. "If anyone asks, no ones knows how you got that."
"That goes for you, too, Y/N. As far as you're concerned, you don't know what a homicide file is."
"What's homicide?" you joked. "I don't even know what that is."
"Works for me," Erin said as Jay flipped open the file.
***
"What'd he say? Jay asked, cornering Antonio in the locker room.
"Not here," Antonio told him and led him to the basement.
Once the two detectives were safely in the basement, Antonio let Jay in on the statement that Phil Rodiger had just given the Intelligence Unit about Lonnie Rodiger's murder.
"Can I run something by you?" Jay asked.
"Shoot."
"So, Phil Rodiger gives his statement, and he says...that his son never came home that night," Jay took a deep breath, hoping he wasn't going to get in trouble for saying this. "But I know he did. I may have not gone straight to my apartment after I got takeout for me and Y/N before we watched the Hawks game together."
"I'll talk to Voight. But, I think Y/N needs some help with homework, so go be the good big brother and do that." Antonio clapped Jay on the back and then started up the stairs.
***
"We're good to go," Antonio told him. "But, we got a problem."
"Which is?" Jay asked, raising an eyebrow.
"They kicked him."
"The hell do you mean they kicked him?"
"I mean, they don't think he did it. But, Jin's getting a location on him." Antonio's phone binged. "And here is that location. Erin, you riding with me? Halstead will follow. I got the photos."
Erin picked up her coat. "Ruzek, watch the kid, okay?"
"You got it," he answered, walking over to the break room.
"Ruz, please do not corrupt my sister."
"I'm hurt Jay, really. That hurt, man," he joked.
The three detectives left the district and made their way to a bar where Phil Rodiger was sitting and drinking alone. The three had agreed that only Jay should go in so that he wouldn't get spooked and try to run off.
Jay entered the bar and took a seat next to Phil. He sighed and rolled his eyes, but started Jay on his reasoning anyway. "In the statement you gave the detectives, you said that you didn't see Lonnie after 10:00 pm, that he went for a drive and he never came back." Jay placed a photo on the bar in front of Phil. "I was following Lonnie that night, and not long after these pictures were taken, I watched him walk into your house. Lonnie got tired of hunting, so he went home. And according to the time of death, he was killed an hour after I took this photo." Phil Rodiger just stared at the photo as Jay turned his attention away from it and onto Phil. "Your son wasn't killed in the park, was he?"
Phil stood up and brought his face close to Jay's. "You got no idea what you're talking about."
Then, he started to walk away, but Jay got up and followed him. Jay was pretty sure his cop instincts were right once again. "Phil, where you going?" Jay paused and looked at him. Phil was looking at the floor and avoiding eye contact the way only a guilty man would. "You killed him."
"He was sick."
Yeah, we all knew that. Took you long enough, Jay thought to himself.
Then, Erin and Antonio rushed in and put Phil in cuffs.
***
Half an hour later, Jay was standing in front of the one-way window with Voight, watching Erin do her thing in the interrogation room.
"I found some pictures on his computer," Phil told Erin. "Boys, same age as the Corson kid. Then I- I confronted him."
"How did you kill Lonnie?" Erin asked, straight to the point. The faster this got straightened out, the faster Jay'd get his badge and gun back.
"We fought. I picked up a belt, and I just- I just kept choking him." Phil tried to keep the tears back, but he couldn't. What kind of father would kill their own son? But then again, most fathers didn't have sons who were monsters.
"And then you dropped his body in the park?"
"Yes."
Jay walked out of the interrogation room the minute he heard those words. He knew Voight had heard the same things he had. So, when Voight motioned for Jay to step into his office, this time, Jay didn't hesitate.
Voight pulled open a drawer and grabbed Jay's badge and gun. "Good to have you back."
"Thanks, Sarge."
"Now, go and get your sister out of here. I think she's bored out of her mind."
Jay chuckled and clipped his badge onto his jeans and holstered his gun. "His dad did it?" you asked, exiting the break room.
"How did you know that?"
"Ruzek told me!"
"Dude! I told you not to corrupt her!"
"Technically, I didn't corrupt her. I told her the truth," he defended.
"Fine, whatever. Mind giving us a ride so we can go get my car back from Pizza Hut?"
"Yeah, no problem."
"I call shotgun!" you yelled and started to race down the stairs.
"No fair!" Jay exclaimed as he chased after you.
***
You and Jay were crouched in front of Ben's grave, the flowers you had planted four days ago brightening the dismal place up a bit. "They got him, Ben, they got him," you explained. "Jay almost got in trouble for it, but it turns out that Lonnie's dad did it." You paused as if waiting for Ben's reaction. You knew he would be saying something along the lines of no way where he was. "I know, no way, right?"
"You okay?" Jay asked as he placed a hand on your shoulder.
You had stopped talking after you asked that rhetorical question. You had no idea what to say now. Ben was still gone.
"I guess it doesn't feel as good as I thought it would," you said, turning your attention to Jay. "It's as if I thought that finding who did this would bring Ben back. I feel relief, but that's it."
"Hey, no matter what you're feeling, it's okay. The way this went down today and the past few days don't matter. We got justice for Ben and that's all that matters. You got justice for Ben. You were the one who saw Lonnie with that rope and duct tape and told me. You were the reason this entire case got off the ground."
"Really?"
"Really," Jay confirmed.
"Well, at least it's justice."
"At least it's justice," Jay echoed.
A/N: Thank you for the amazing feedback on the first installment of this series I posted a few days ago! Your comments really got me motivated to write this one! But, I have some bad news, which is that since I have exams in a week and a half, I won't be posting for at least two weeks, probably closer to two and a half.
Anyway, thank you for reading, and please vote and comment! Reading your comments really gets me motivated to write...even though the next chapter will have to wait a while since I have exams.
taglist: @theambracer88 @virtualreader @kelelas-life @celyndavies @brookerz122493 @musicismyescape27 @anotherfan07
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the-bat-collector · 3 years
Text
SUPERBAT Rec List!! AU NO POWERS ish PART 1
I love NO POWERS NO CAPES AUs but its been so hard to find them!! so decided to make this list to help y’all in your search  :D
The length varies, but I prefer long fics so most of these are 10-20k up to 200k 
Heart and Soul by Pandamomochan
E - 150,044
Clark Kent used to be a renowned composer who was said to be able to write masterpieces that were designed uniquely for each individual player. Famous musicians around the world would flock to him in hopes that he would write for them because his pieces were always said to bring out any player's crowning performance. That is, until one day Clark loses his wife in a tragic accident and decides never to write again.
Years later, Clark's son, Jon, gets admitted to the famous "Gotham School of Performing Arts". It is there that Clark meets Bruce Wayne, a strict, uptight, by the book piano instructor who is said to be able to craft the best musicians around the world.
this is one of my favorites. I'm not really into Hurt/Comfort but this is so beautiful!! highly recommended I'm biased cause I play the piano
Seeing Bruce Wayne by Evilpixie
E - 15,089
Clark Kent is the only male midwife working in Metropolis General. Bruce Wayne the residential pediatric surgeon.
I'm so into medicine/doctor AUs this is also one of my favorite fics!if you have to pick one from this list, pick this one!!!
On The Cusp by vesper_house
E - 47,378
Clark's life isn't going so well. He's in his thirties, he works at a coffee shop run by his old crush, his journalism career is going nowhere, and he's broke. It takes only one tall, dark and handsome stranger to change everything.
COFFE SHOP AU COFFESHOP AU!! We need more of these, the dynamic between Bruce and Clark is Great!!!!
A Game You Can't Win by NightFoliage
T - 78,328
Injustice is the hottest MMORPGs available to play! Set in a world where superpowers exist, players can become civilians, heroes, villains, and anybody in-between. Designed by Hiro “Toyman” Okamura, and Timothy Drake-Wayne, Injustice was created with the best Wayne Industries technology available and has the most human NPCs. The game is beyond it's time and is planned to be at the top of the charts for a while.
By accident, Clark finds himself pushed into the spotlight and new found fame. To him, Let’s Plays are a means to stay in touch with friends and to make money. He never got into LPing to become famous.
Bruce, who funded the game after Jason’s accident, is irritated (not jealous) that a video game player is such a big topic among the kids. After the nth time they mention him, Bruce decides to take matters into his own hands and see what all the fuss is about.
link to art
ONE OF MY FAVORITE SUPERBAT FICS OUT THERE!!!!!! this is great and fun and Clark is the best!
As We Grow by butterflyslinky
E - 23,451
Clark Kent is a farmer deep in debt to Lex Luthor.
Bruce Wayne is a billionaire with seven children and no luck in love.
But their families have a scheme to get them together and hopefully make life a little bit better.
Modern Medicine by BuckinghamAlice
G - 5,208
Pediatrician Dr. Clark Kent becomes beloved to his patients, the Wayne boys... as well as to their doting father Bruce.
ABSOLUTELY lovely and adorable, you get the feels!
Hellooooo, nurse! by weirdraccoon INCOMPLETE WIP
T - ?????
Clark enjoys his job at the Free Clinic. He loves helping people and tending injuries. Saving lives. But this man... Bruce Wayne is going to kill him if he doesn't get killed first.
Bruce is still Batman on this one but HERE ME OUT, Clark is a nurse! is incomplete but looking forward to the following chapters!!
Two Cities by EllenD
E - 96,152
Clark Kent, is simply Clark Kent, junior reporter for the Daily Planet who moved to Metropolis from Smallville with big dreams. Bruce Wayne is a billionaire playboy from Gotham, who also happens to be Batman. They meet, date, and fall in love, though not without hurdles because mild-mannered Clark is also socially awkward as heck. But when the most dangerous criminals in Gotham are gunning for Batman, Clark gets caught in the middle of it all. (He's basically Batman's Lois Lane) Meant to be set in the Dawn of Justice movie universe, but also draws inspiration from video games, comics, and those awesome Batman cartoons.
This is part of a series, but this is the main fic of it. Love this trope of Clark is just a civilian and Bruce is Batman. Warning this fic does contain disturbing topics so read the tags.
Here Comes the Sun by batsy_rocks
T - 18,815
Clark Kent is a kind-hearted reporter working in the big city. Bruce Wayne is a stressed dad of four with no idea of what he's doing.
Then they meet.
Seasons of Love by littlechinesedoll
G - 4,603
Clark Kent took over that farm at the edge of the Town of Smallville. He likes Smallville's resident doctor, Bruce Wayne.
The best gifts for Bruce are ginger ale, salad, coffee, and any kind of flowers. He hates gems, and bars of copper, silver, and gold.
Petals and Ink by drunkraiinbow
T - 12,976
With a new kid joining the family, Bruce tries a new tattoo artist to continue the tradition of adding them to his sleeve, but he won't trust just any artist. Clark manages to win him over with his incredible talent and his farm-boy friendly demeanor, and he may even have begun to win Bruce's heart. However, Clark might have a few things to learn first.
FLOWER SHOP TATTOO PARLOUR AU! what else is there to say, this is extremely cute and a fast read! :D
Faceless Killer by Batsymomma11
E - 51,519
Detective Bruce Wayne from the GCPD and detective Clark Kent from the MPD have been asked to create a joint task force in an effort to catch the John Doe Killer that has been ravaging their sister-cities. Aside from their long-standing animosity towards one another, it should be a breeze to work together. Besides, lives depend on them getting along.
They never expected they'd trip headlong into a romantic entanglement that feels a lot more serious than even the killer they're chasing.
The Tailor by maderi
E - 16,026
When Clark is assigned to cover the Wayne gala, he finds himself in need of a professionally tailored suit. His tailor though is drop dead gorgeous, which brings up a lot of awkward situations during their appointments.
Heroes of the Squared Circle by Mithen
M - 226,687
They've gone by many names: Billionaire Brucie, Country Clark, the Kryptonian, the Dark Knight. But no matter what their stage names are, one thing has always been true: Clark Kent and Bruce Wayne are the world's finest wrestlers.
Six's a crowd by Untoward INCOMPLETE/ABANDONED
G - 10,133
When Alfred has to make an emergency trip back to England, Bruce soon finds out he can't manage running a business and taking care of six kids all alone.
He turns to a nanny agency for help, and is astonished when he finds Clark Kent, who seems like he can handle anything.
Clark not only can take care of the kids incredibly well but seems to be breaking Bruce's walls down rather well too.
After Hours by ????
E - 3,175
At the end of a long semester Clark can't hide his attraction to Professor Wayne any longer. Grad School AU.
This is practically a one-shot, not really my type of fic but worth adding!! Haven't come across this professor trope in Superbat so if you got any recs, send them my way!
Wings and Fangs by DanielleN3
E - 17,224
Clark thought he could never fall in love with anyone, especially not after being alone for such a long time… but all of that changes when he encounters a sexy vampire in Gotham.
TECHNICALLY they both have powers in this one but there are soooo different from cannon that I think this fic still qualifies for this list
thirteen by CapnWinghead
T - 22,890
Drowning in student loans, Clark Kent takes a summer job as the Wayne family nanny.
OKAY. so this is not entirely NO POWERS, but I mean Clark is a NANNY so this is great! TRUST ME
Kiss me, take my breath away by J_Jubilee
E - 37,934
There were legends about Gotham Reef. Legends that said it was haunted by a beast of foul temper. Stories told of a ravenous sea beast that feasted on the flesh of men, and was said to be more hideous than Satan himself. Others told of a woman with eyes that glowed like gold to lead sailors to their death. Some even spoke of a witch that cursed men and wreck their ships, taking all their treasures with it. When Clark’s catamaran is wrecked by a terrible storm, he learns that the stories were oh so far from true.
Baby Bats by AlmondRose
G - 4,003
this is a short series of adorable and simple domestic fluff
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Haven't read this one but heeey the art is sooo pretty soo decided to add it anyways
Dragon Heart by Hells Angel 921
T - 27,660
Kal wants to make up for his past.
Bruce tries to move on with his future.
They eventually meet in the middle.
link to art
I didn't know that Dragon/DragonSlayer was a thing but hey... apparently it is, so here it is.
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hehe and so my rant ends here! let me know if you know fics that fit any of these tropes! I’m all ears
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