xxshadowangel-xx - Tumblr blog

xxshadowangel-xx · 4 years

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guys things r getting rly bad at home and i am being threatened with residential. i am leaving tumblr in an attempt to stop my parents seeing and stuff! i hope u understand and i wish u all the best! xx

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xxshadowangel-xx · 4 years

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i just don’t understand anymore. people say they care but they don’t. i say i care. about “recovering” which i don’t cause i got forced into it. about being here. all i want to be is happy. and to do that i need to be skinny and bony and light and perfect. and i will. soon, sooner, soon.

#ana thoughts #ed thoughts #miaa #analog #anamia #anarecia #bonesp0 #ed food log #anarecya #anarexx

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xxshadowangel-xx · 4 years

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i wish half of these reblog things would work - i guess i’ll do it the old fashioned way than!! exercise and restriction here i come!

#ana thoughts #ed thoughts #miaa #analog #anamia #anarecia #bonesp0 #ed food log #anarecya #anarexx

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xxshadowangel-xx · 4 years

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ik trying this!

my workout routine

daily goals:

200 arm dips (like a backwards push-up)

500 crunches

200 leg raises

5 minute plank

500 squats

my routine:

🎀50 arm dips x2

🌙100 crunches

🌸50 leg raises (each side) x2

☁️2.5 minute plank

💘100 squats x2

🐇50 arm dips x2

🌈100 crunches

✨100 squats x2

🌷50 leg raises (each side) x2

🍀100 crunches

🕊2.5 minute plank

💐200 crunches

💫100 squats

✨done !✨

i’ve gotten some DMs about my workout routine so here u go ! remember to stay safe and drink a lot of water.

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xxshadowangel-xx · 4 years

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if u need help i’m always here and my dms r open. i would care no matter who u r if you killed yourself.

The Morning After I Killed Myself

The morning after I killed myself, I woke up.

I made myself breakfast in bed. I added salt and pepper to my eggs and used my toast for a cheese and bacon sandwich. I squeezed a grapefruit into a juice glass. I scraped the ashes from the frying pan and rinsed the butter off the counter. I washed the dishes and folded the towels.

The morning after I killed myself, I fell in love. Not with the boy down the street or the middle school principal. Not with the everyday jogger or the grocer who always left the avocados out of the bag. I fell in love with my mother and the way she sat on the floor of my room holding each rock from my collection in her palms until they grew dark with sweat. I fell in love with my father down at the river as he placed my note into a bottle and sent it into the current. With my brother who once believed in unicorns but who now sat in his desk at school trying desperately to believe I still existed.

The morning after I killed myself, I walked the dog. I watched the way her tail twitched when a bird flew by or how her pace quickened at the sight of a cat. I saw the empty space in her eyes when she reached a stick and turned around to greet me so we could play catch but saw nothing but sky in my place. I stood by as strangers stroked her muzzle and she wilted beneath their touch like she did once for mine.

The morning after I killed myself, I went back to the neighbors’ yard where I left my footprints in concrete as a two year old and examined how they were already fading. I picked a few daylilies and pulled a few weeds and watched the elderly woman through her window as she read the paper with the news of my death. I saw her husband spit tobacco into the kitchen sink and bring her her daily medication.

The morning after I killed myself, I watched the sun come up. Each orange tree opened like a hand and the kid down the street pointed out a single red cloud to his mother.

The morning after I killed myself, I went back to that body in the morgue and tried to talk some sense into her. I told her about the avocados and the stepping stones, the river and her parents. I told her about the sunsets and the dog and the beach.

The morning after I killed myself, I tried to unkill myself, but couldn’t finish what I started.

By Meggie Royer

#courage #gratitude #regret #tw suicice #tw suicude #death tw

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xxshadowangel-xx · 4 years

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love this music selection! another one i would add is weightless or sugar and ice

Hiya, so this is my ED playlist. It's kinda personal in a way; these songs have stuck with me since the start of my mental spiral, even though my music taste got more varied.

If you're into alternative stuffs, take a listen:

It may help.

Tracklist:

1. Jennifer's Body - Hole

2. Bulimic - The Used

3. Hospital for Souls - Bring Me The Horizon

4. The Sea Is A Good Place To Think Of The

Future - Los Campesinos!

5. It's OK, I Wouldn't Remember Me Either -

Crywank

6. Skin And Bones - Foo Fighters

7. Creep - Radiohead

8. Bleed Like Me - Garbage

9. Plump - Hole

10. Bones - Radiohead

11. Buried Myself Alive - The Used

12. Dirty Magic - The Offspring

13. Skinny Little Bitch - Hole

14. Sick Of It All - The Distillers

15. Cynical Skin - Get Scared

16. I'm So Sick - Flyleaf

17. Bones - The Killers

18. Razor - Foo Fighters

19. Anorexorcist - Nirvana

20. The Fear - Lilly Allen

Take care, ~M

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xxshadowangel-xx · 4 years

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ok so i just realized something - a number doesn’t mean anything unless there is something attached to it and u see it and it makes u feel emotion - for example 6 million people dying in a war. yh it sounds a lot but it’s not until u see dolls lined up that represent the victims and people killed that u see the shear scale of things. that means that 70 kg or 30 kg are just numbers to some people. but to us they mean almost as much if not more than that demonstration of the dolls of war. because we look in the mirror and we have seen both values to an extent and we know which one we would rather be.

#ana thoughts #ed thoughts #miaa #analog #anamia #anarecia #bonesp0 #ed food log #anarecya #anarexx

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xxshadowangel-xx · 4 years

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TASTY LOW CAL RECIPE ALERT!!!

i tried this and it honestly tastes incredible! don’t forget to use a baking tray lined with baking paper/parchment paper to avoid using oil! if u can’t do this then use 1 cal spray oil and spred 1 spray of it using kitchen roll.

#ana thoughts #ed thoughts #miaa #analog #anamia #anarecia #bonesp0 #ed food log #anarecya #anarexx #low cal food #low cal recipes #low cal breakfast #low cal ideas #low cal cooking

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xxshadowangel-xx · 4 years

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but what if they r just my conscience reminding me of my faults in an attempt to help me?

They won’t leave me alone

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xxshadowangel-xx · 4 years

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Skinny girls don’t eat They drink Skinny girls don’t sleep They workout Skinny girls don’t cry They laugh Skinny girls don’t want to die They explore their perfect life

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xxshadowangel-xx · 4 years

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Lose weight! Ana tips.

•Eat under 300 calories a day, you’ll lose one pound per day.

• Eat vegetables and lean proteins.

•Drink 10-12 cups of water per day.

•Don’t eat anything after 7:00pm.

•Drink green tea.

•Chew gum!!

•Brush your teeth if you get hungry.

•Exercise at least two hours a day. If you’re too tired, then do one.

•Take cold baths, you Lose 500 calories if in the bath for 45 min.

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xxshadowangel-xx · 4 years

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Apple cinnamon panncake

40 Calorie

For the pancake

2 teaspoons flour. ( 19 Cal’s )

2 teaspoons almond milk ( 3 Cal’s )

1 teaspoon water ( 0 Cal’s )

1 teaspoon stevia ( 0 Cal’s )

cooking spray ( 0 Cal’s )

A pinch of cinnamon ( 3 Cal’s )

For the filling

A pinch of cinnamon ( 3 Cal’s )

30g of apple ( 15 Cal’s )

1 teaspoon of stevia ( 0 Cal’s )

Mix together the dry ingredients for the pancake then add the almond milk and stir together then add the water slowly until it reaches the right texture for thin pancakes ( I have no clue how to describe it ) you may not need all the water.

Then make sure the apple is peeled then slice it into small sweetner and cinnamon and stir together then microwave in 30 second burstes with a splash of water (one teaspoon each) untill the apple is soft the the sweetner is a bit syrupy. Add extra cinnamon to taste.

Heat up a NON STICK pan and spray it with a 0 Cal’s cooking spray and pour in the mixure this mixture made me one pancake in a large pan but depending on the size of your pan you may get 2 pancakes. Cook untill bubble form in the middle and the edges go crispy then flip and cook for another minute before serving.

Put the filling on the pancake and roll to enjoy.

I reaaaalyy like this and it’s actually really easy to make , the filling is just my apple pie bite recipe but it’s super nice.

.

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xxshadowangel-xx · 4 years

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i know what i’m doing tomorrow

Vanilla cookies

79 Calories (for all of them)

Ingredients

3 Egg whites. ( 49 cals )

1 table spoon coconut flour ( 30 Cals )

3 teaspoons Stevia. ( 0 cals )

½ teaspoon vanilla extract. ( 0 cals )

½ teaspoon baking powder. ( 0 cals )

Whip the egg whites into stiff peaks, sift all the dry ingredients together

Then gently fold all ingredients together. ( You have to be gentle or you’ll push all the air out of the eggs

Then spray a tray with a nonstick spray (KEY STEP ) spoon into a tray

Bake at a medium heat for about 17 minutes or until golden brown.

These are super light and super yummy and mainly protein so there very good.

To get individual calorie count divide 79 by the number of cookies you make.

This recipe was inspired by the amazing @thin-as-flowers and her slightly lower chocolate cookie recipe I have also Reblogged.

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xxshadowangel-xx · 4 years

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I HATE MEEEE

visual representation of me:

#ana thoughts #ed thoughts #analog #miaa #anarecia #anamia #bonesp0 #ed food log #anarecya #anarexx

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xxshadowangel-xx · 4 years

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i need more ED blogs to follow. and i mean not just like “thinspo blogs” with a bunch of pictures and stuff. But i want like real people to that actually post personal stuff and idk. :( like/reblog this so i can find you guys

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xxshadowangel-xx · 4 years

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i can’t even think of a caption

#ana thoughts #ed thoughts #miaa #anamia #analog #bonesp0 #anarecia #ed food log #anarexx #anarecya #tw eating stuff #tw suicude #tw suicice

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xxshadowangel-xx · 4 years

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Workout I use, credit to the creator. I’ve reblogged it before but can’t find it again:(

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