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acourtofwhatthefuck · 10 months

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Someone Different, Someone New — Cassian X Reader.

✧: *✧･ﾟ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ

Hi! This is an impromptu piece that is by no means my best writing — I just wanted to exercise my brain a bit. I haven’t added a tag list on this one because I need to go through and sort them out/update them, so sorry about that!

Warning: this piece does depict struggles of mental illness/trauma/panic, so if that’s something that could negatively effect you, please, please give this one a miss. This is based off my own experience of mental illness/trauma/panic, and the last thing I want is to trigger some unpleasant things because of my writing, so please take care. All the love. 💕

✧: *✧･ﾟ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ

“You doing okay?”

Rhysand’s arm pressed against yours as he took up the space beside you. Just as you were, he leaned back against the balcony railing, wine glass in hand. The cold temperature had driven the evening’s guests inside, but the bite of the chill…you needed it. Even as it started to hurt.

But you slapped a pleasant smile on your face that offered no glimpse of pain. “I’m okay.”

There was no need to put a front on for Rhys. He was the only one who could get it — it was he you’d been trapped Under the Mountain with, after all. He who had known who you’d been before, during and after. He’d seen everything, and he saw you now.

Saw the way your gaze stared intensely through the open glass doors and fastened on Cassian.

“Have you spoken to him?” Rhys asked.

Barely. You’d only been back three months, and the majority of it had been spent on your own. Fifty years trapped with people made company feely oily and itchy. And the person you’d become didn’t exactly make for good company, either. Not now that you were someone who was short-tempered, or brusque, or downright miserable. Being alone meant not having to subject anyone to that. It was a wonder Rhysand had convinced you to come tonight at all.

And there was another underlying reason for not wanting to face Cassian. You didn’t know each other anymore.

There might have been the potential for romance between you…a very long time ago. But fifty years apart had wiped that clean. You were no longer the person who had gone under that mountain. You were no longer the person he might have grown to love. He had known someone of vibrancy, of light and laughter.

You couldn’t bear to face him as you were, now. And he seemed to be doing just fine.

“No.” You answered Rhys, draining your glass.

Your High Lord studied you. “Why not?”

“I wouldn’t know what to say. And neither would he. It would be uncomfortable for him.”

“This is Cassian we’re talking about. He’ll just want to know that you’re alright.”

You most certainly were not alright.

You weren’t alright with enclosed spaces. You couldn’t even stand the feeling of your clothes touching your skin for too long. Loud noises had you flinching and laughter sounded too close to screams. Sometimes, you could swear your bathwater was blood, coating you, staining you, reminding you of what you’d had to do to survive. There was an ever-present tightness in your chest that always teetered on the edge of becoming something terrible.

You may have escaped the mountain, but you didn’t think you’d truly gulped down the fresh air.

And though you’d spent fifty years longing to get out from that prison, you honestly didn’t know how to be outside of it. Who to be outside of it.

You felt yourself jolt as you watched Cassian bellow a deep laugh. The female he was talking to grinned broadly, proud of whatever she’d said to garner such a reaction. Cass looked…content. Happy. He had moved on with his life, just as he’d deserved to.

You weren’t sure you could stomach watching it play out in front of you, though.

“I think he’s waiting for you to make the first move, Y/N.” Rhys’s hand landed on your arm, and your entire body went rigid. “He wants you to have the control.”

You swallowed. “I don’t think he thinks about me at all. Nor would I expect him to. He doesn’t know me anymore. I am not the person he once cared for.”

“I think you’re more of that same person than you realise.”

He was wrong. You shook your head. “No. I’m…someone different, Rhys. Someone new.”

“And you think Cassian would judge you for that? Really?”

Your gaze cut sharply to his violet one. “I think you have an over-exaggerated idea of how significant I am in his life.”

He stared back at you, pain marring his features. And this was precisely why you didn’t want to be around people anymore. You were just…rough. Jagged. Rude and cold.

“I’m sorry.” Your eyes shuttered. You pushed your glass into Rhys’s hand. “Sorry, Rhys, I just…need some time.”

He didn’t protest as you pulled away from him, wandering back inside and weaving your way through the bodies that had gathered for the party celebrating their High Lord’s return to Velaris. You didn’t even know where you planned to go. All you were aware of was that tightness in your chest worsening. Constricting. You rubbed at your chest, forcing yourself to swallow down air.

Your legs carried you aimlessly as you climbed stairs and burst through a door. A bathing chamber. You collapsed against the door, a clammy, prickling sensation spreading over your skin as you fought to just breathe. Your ears were ringing, pounding, a pressure seeming to bind your body and hold it taut. You weren’t sure you could survive this. Weren’t sure how to not be…this.

You weren’t aware of how long it lasted. Time felt both fast and slow around you as you bowed over the sink, fingers digging into the porcelain. The music and chatter of the party sounded so, so far away, you could be forgiven for thinking you’d left the building. But you knew you hadn’t. You were still here. You. Were. Still. Here.

You didn’t know when your trembling hands had turned the tap on and darted under the ice-cold water, but the sensation was soothing, grounding. You focused on watching it flow, dripping from your fingertips and splashing into the sink. You cupped your palms and gathered a small pool and splashed it against your face.

Slowly, your breaths began to even out. Slowly, your body began to steady. The sounds from downstairs became clearer, sounded closer, and the sensations that had gripped you subsided, making way for a wave of lethargy.

You just wanted to sleep.

You dried your face, your hands, straightening yourself out and hoping you were steady enough to make it out of there. Hopefully you could get away without running into anyone. The last thing you needed right now was mindless conversation.

You pulled the door open — and stopped short at the figure that waited just outside.

Cassian pushed off the wall. He unfolded his arms, studying you. And whatever he saw when he looked at you…you knew it couldn’t be good.

“Hey…” He said softly, daring a step closer. “Can we talk?”

#acotar #a court of thorns and roses #acotar fandom #acotar x reader #acotar writing #acotar fanfic #acotar headcanon #cassian #cassian acotar #cassian x reader #acotar series #reader insert #acomaf #acowar #acofas #acosf #illyrian #batboys

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iliveforyouilongforyouvesuvia · 3 months

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The Arcana HCs: M6 with an MC who's been through SA

~ here's some angst/hurt/comfort, friends. I've held off on writing this for so long because I know it's a heavy topic, but considering how I've yet to meet a femme-presenting person who hasn't been through this and how unacknowledged masc-presenting survivors are, I figured it was worth a shot. you are seen, you are loved, you did not deserve it, and you are more than worthy of good things <3 ~

CW for, obviously, references to SA (sexual assault) and descriptions of related triggers. Rated PG-13

PLEASE DO NOT READ THIS IF IT WOULD DO YOU MORE HARM THAN GOOD

-- for headcanon purposes, the details of MC's experience (what happened and when) are up to the reader's interpretation and comfort level. However, MC is able to remember it by the beginning of the prologue --

Julian

When you first tell him about it, you can almost hear his heart cracking with every word. He's pained and horrified

And he's not going to interrupt or make it about him. He carefully navigates himself to put all of his attention into listening to you without his presence being suffocating or overwhelming

Heartbroken

Waits until you've finished talking, and gently asks if he can ask you a few more questions in a medical capacity

He'll never, ever press you to share details that you're not comfortable with, but he understands the human body and given how much he cares about yours, he wants to make sure you're ok

If there's anything medical/physical that needs to be addressed and if you're comfortable with it, he'll do the gentlest, safest job of taking care of you that he's ever done in his life

His greatest impulse is to wrap you up in a hug and tuck your head under his chin and swirl his cloak around you like a pair of wings until you're all bundled up and safe

But he doesn't want to touch without permission, and - oh, please tell him his particularly blatant brand of flirting didn't bother you. Or if it did, please do tell him, because he never wants to hurt you

Walks on eggshells for each physical progression of your relationship because he's terrified of discovering your boundaries the wrong way, quick to establish that none of it is your fault

Never, ever lets you think less of yourself for it

Asra

When they first heard about it, they physically froze in place

He said very little. The only spoken words on his end were either to invite you to talk about it, or to comfort you. He spent most of the time with his hand over his mouth and pain and anger in his eyes

Their determination to never impose their feelings on you tripled, and much of their tendency to leave on such physically distanced trips came from wanting to preserve your personal living space

Made sure to teach self defense moves, both physical and magical

Long after your relationship turns from friendship to romance, he continues to ask every time he shares a sleeping space with you if it's okay, and is always happy to snooze nearby instead

Double and triple checks which kinds of touch you're okay with when they want to be affectionate with you. They can hold your hand, but please don't grab your wrist? They won't even touch it

Given how connected your bond makes you, both emotionally and physically, he's very careful about establishing boundaries

They can tell you're struggling emotionally - is it okay if they try feeling it with you?

He's on a trip, and wants you to feel a hug - is it okay if he sends his touch to you like that? Would you rather touch him instead?

Both versatile and creative when it comes to finding ways to share love without triggering you - wrapping their shawl around you in lieu of a hug, playfully sitting on their hands to share a kiss

If time heals all wounds, love turns the wreckage into a garden

Nadia

Her chin snapped up and the look in her eyes became so fierce when you first mentioned it that you almost became afraid

Which is why her whole demeanor shifted into something both soft and protective for the rest of the conversation. Tell her everything you're willing to, and then please let her take care of you

She's extremely gentle with you afterwards, until she's once again sure of what kind of physical and relational dynamic you want

She knows there's nothing wrong with her liking to take the lead, but she loves you and the last thing she wants is for her preference to play into your trauma. She does bring this up in conversation

What are you comfortable with her initiating? What are things she can change about how she initiates touch to make you feel safer and give you more freedom to speak your preferences?

Very, very gently asks if there's anything she's done so far that has bothered you, and offers you the most loving, sincere apology

Goes out of her way to make sure that you always have accommodations to let you ensure your own safety

Crowded party? She's got a quiet room to slip into if you need it, with a guard at the entrance and a signal if you need to retire

You don't like to feel restricted/touched in certain ways? Everything from your clothing to the jewels she gifts you are tailored to feel as safe and protected as possible

Nobody knows what happened to the person who harmed you, but you never hear from them again. At all

Muriel

You swear you could see him shrink a little when he first heard

It was like a little bit of life left his eyes, and all that was leftover was a deep, respectful, shared grief

It's not as if he can relate to the type of harm you experienced specifically, but he knows what it's like to have his body exploited and objectified for someone else's gain, and he knows it hurts

That's most of how things proceed at first - he doesn't drastically alter his behavior around you (let's be honest, he never touched you without knowing it was safe for both of you to do so)

But he does move differently around you. Even fewer sudden noises, body language designed to be as non-threatening as possible, a small, reassuring nod anytime you make eye contact

(though in that last case, the nod happens as he's flicking his eyes away and blushing at being caught)

Anything he can do to acknowledge your personal space and physical autonomy, he does, and he doesn't stop doing it

The more you find yourself comfortable opening up about what happened, or at least, how what happened has affected you, the more easy he finds it to open up to you in turn

Hypervigilant about how other people perceive you and their intentions with your personal space. Can and will scare off anybody shady with his perfected stinkeye

Always, always, always touches you like you're something precious, never without asking, with gentleness and reverence

Portia

She still feels a little bad about how extreme her outburst was when you first talked to her about it, when what she really wanted to do was give you a safe space to express yourself

Jaw dropped, a loud indignant "What?!", and then her chin wobbling with rage while her eyes began to well up with tears

Oh she wanted to scoop you into a hug so bad while she cried for you, but she knew that wasn't what you needed

Quick to make a time and space as calm and cozy and safe as possible to talk about it more with you, with fuzzy blankets and tea and snacks to make it a little less unpleasant

Not pushy at all, but not hesitant to ask you questions, both about what happened, and about how you feel about it and how that changes the way you do relationships and touch

Couldn't help crying for you on and off the whole time, but used her handkerchief quietly and refused to take attention from you

She's the most touchy-feely, so she's quick to ask you questions about what kinds of affection you're okay with receiving in general, what kinds you'd like to be asked about first, what to avoid, etc

Already the type of person who picks up on social vibes quickly, she never hesitates to steer you away from a shady character

And now that she's seen how it impacts your life, she's quick to ask around about people with weird vibes, and warn both you and anyone who seems like they might be vulnerable to them

Dedicated to reminding you how important you are every day

Lucio

He didn't get what you were talking about (beyond being able to tell that you were describing a past unpleasant experience) until you straight up told him without beating around the bush

Shocked, and later, furious

It ends up being a conversation you have to come back to, because once he gets a rough idea of what happened, he's spending half an hour pacing and brandishing his gauntlet and spewing threats

How dare they - how dare anyone think for a moment that treating someone as incredible as you is okay? He is throwing them in the dungeon. He's not Count anymore, but he'll find a way!

Doesn't think for a second that you could be remotely to blame

Which means he also doesn't think to remind you that it's not your fault and that you haven't somehow become worse for the experience until you bring up those feelings

He will happily rage about all the good things you deserve if you do

He knows you're strong and capable, but the thing he intuitively wants to do is make you feel safe. Whether that be by keeping watch while you sleep, or standing between you and strangers

Not very used to restraining himself when he wants to fling himself at you for a hug, and it takes a little trial and error for both of you to figure out what sudden affection feels safe and what doesn't

Won't hesitate to pull his sword on anyone crowding into your space or making you uncomfortable

Never sees you in the shadow of your pain. You are you - that's all

#ask arcana brainrot #the arcana #the arcana headcanons #the arcana hc #the arcana game #asra the arcana #julian the arcana #nadia the arcana #muriel the arcana #portia the arcana #lucio the arcana #asra alnazar #julian devorak #nadia satrinava #muriel of the kokhuri #portia devorak #lucio morgasson

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solselah · 4 months

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Pick A Movie ? 💛

(Channeled messages are unrelated to plot)

PILE 1 - TOTAL RECALL

You’ve been noticing recently that your lucid dreaming has gotten so real !! I believe you had an idea how this journey was going to go but you got hit with a mini curve ball the last time you attempted to lucid dream !! Your guides are kind of smirking like just ask us to “lead and guide you and so it shall be” they are definitely protecting during this interesting moment of learning how to “get off the ground” it seems like you start to astral project and you maybe get a bit overwhelmed & feel the need to stop & try again ! On the other hand as you’re sleeping the whole time you’re lucid dreaming to these dimensions & meeting people you actually know in that realm ! So In reality your guides want to lead you into conscious Astral travel !!! Being that you unexpectedly lucid dream almost every night !!! I see for some you really do meet up in the astral realm like it’s a game lol , like okay player 1 is here , player two is here we’re ready to GO! I would just be aware of those you travel with if this is what you choose to do ! Make sure you’re truly okay with sharing your energy on that level !

﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏

PILE 2 - MOONLIGHT

I’m hearing you could be a Sagittarius specifically !! If not you have HEAVY Jupiterian energy! The message I’m receiving is that revolving around your self worth & how it’s been at a 0% when it’s literally always been at 100% with you ! I see people around you are concerned and want you to know they care and are here for you , with anything you may need ! For some you’ve just been watching and listening !! For a few you could’ve really had an imbalanced upbringing, I’m seeing that you may have had your parents, which is a positive thing , but they both seem to have “filled the same glass consistently”

meanwhile the other “glasses” (🍷)that were in need of attention remained empty ! So maybe they raised you based off how they were raised or how they simply wanted to. There were usually no input from others , especially family ! They could’ve been so Focused on your goals making sure you don’t make them look any less than they deem themselves to be ! I’m so picking up a mothers energy , she is toxic yall!! And would rather you “raise yourself” than put energy into molding you & raising you with the love that nourishes and not the back handed guilt of love ! Things will be so different when you decide to have kids or even if you do ! You move so different than your family and I commend you for it ! 💙

﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏

PILE 3 - HIDDEN FIGURES

So I see your having doubts about if this person is literally your twin flame like you don’t have any clue about what that even means or looks like for you & your not the type of person to look online and associate your experiences with the next , you need to experience these things for yourself to really solidify it in your eyes ! So you are doubting which is so okay because I do feel it’s a natural reaction to such a powerful dynamic ! Now as far as labeling it as twin flame that part you’re not sure about , like you rarely like saying boyfriend and girlfriend ! You are okay with being Partners or just people who love each other ! You are my pile that moves independent mostly , what you want you really go out there and get it for you ! To make you feel good , to add to the list of your accomplishments! You feel like this

“Twin flame “ thing might take you off your tracks as far as being independent , you’re not really ready for that level of emotion !! You definitely are dealing with someone who is KARMIC to you and is capable of mirroring to you , your faults ! You’re just not ready for that !! I wouldn’t 100% say you have interacted with your twin flame if you even have one ! I just feel like one of you may think that and the other is feeling so off about it. You’re hiding from the things that are triggering you which is so normal but at some point you’ll HAVE to face it !! Take it gently! Never with force ✨

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PILE 4 - BRIDESMAIDS

(Mini 18+ warning )

You’re so not good with rejection of any kind !! lol you can be the type of person who is like go big or go home ! you will literally pay an arm and leg for something you really want !!! You have a very abundant mind set and can actually create and manifest with that gift so amazingly !! You take action you’re not lazy whatsoever , you are a money maker and may even work from home to where you still are in the comfort of your own Space ! The message for you is to maintain this abundant mindset and you never know where you’ll end up in the next 6 years as far as goals are concerned!! Venus is ushering in some good sex for you ! It’s almost like you work with a goddess connected to Venus and you can manifest the person , place & time lol your definitely a Conjurer or a sorceress an empress , you may work with water as well , I’m seeing water offerings !! So you have a deep connection to the element of water. You could be a Pisces I’m feeling that sign heavily! you may also have a Scorpio Venus for some or even a Jupiter in Taurus for others ! You are really so godly ! The shape , the body, the energy its all goals !!! 🔥🔥

﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏

Hope you enjoy 💛

IG: @ soleccentric

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smolvenger · 12 days

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First Lady (President Loki x fem! Reader blurb)

Summary: It's not easy being in the spotlight as First Lady of the Nation. But your President's Husband knows what to do when your online critics take it too far.

Or "Who did this to you?" with President Loki.

Word Count: 1318 (blurb time)

Warnings: SMUT! 18 + (wall diddling, whee), online bullying and harassment (inspired from my own personal experience, whee) mention of sex. Angst and then fluff and hurt/comfort. I steal ideas from Ana Huang and Sadie Kincaid. Bad grammar. I had writer's block with this one and was stuck so not as revised and polished as I could be bc I just wanted this done, I'm not Shakespeare or Donna Tartt okay? If I miss a warning, please inform me at once. Don't victim blame those affected, Report it! If you see something disturbing or triggering that isn't tagged that I missed, then that is on me to take accountability for it and it is your responsibility to report it!

A03//My Ko-Fi//My Etsy Shop//Masterlist//Wattpad

Taglist: @asgards-princess-of-mischief @jennyggggrrr @five-miles-over @fictive-sl0th @ladycamillewrites @villainousshakespeare @holdmytesseract @eleniblue @twhxhck @lokisgoodgirl @lovelysizzlingbluebird @raqnarokr @holymultiplefandomsbatman @michelleleewise @wolfsmom1 @cheekyscamp @mochie85 @fandxmslxt69 @skittslackoffilter @mischief2sarawr

Dick-Tionary: The exact, more explicit smut begins at “Open wide, my dear.” and ends at "He gently let you down."

Something about the internet gave people anonymity and with that came power. They could say and do what they wanted…even the vilest things.

Comment after comment. Ding after ding on your phone. There were posts about how you were wrong. Irresponsible because they didn’t like your cause of supporting raising minimum wages. Even under posts where you were talking about the importance of your cause, so many people went “Well, to be fair-”

You couldn’t help but look at more about you.

Stupid.

Ugly.

A pig.

And those were the tamer ones.

The constant bullying and demands from these people. You thought you were qualified for this. That you knew your way around tenfold. Dolled up in your nice dress and makeup…and here you were, crying. Wanting to throw a fit. Wanting to scream and call them vile, horrible things. T sob until you couldn’t breathe and crash down, heels, pearls, lipstick and all. No better than a little girl playing dress up. Not an adult who handled everything with strength and grace. Not a First Lady of an entire country.

You should be strong. Thick-skinned. “Don’t take it personally” was the advice everyone gave you. Every single time. Without fail. But at this point, it just numbed in your head. What did that even mean? It meant nothing. Like “thoughts and prayers” maybe at once it could help, and has helped but now…it was just a phrase people threw out that fixed nothing. And how could you not take a comment beneath your post telling you to not take it personally?

You found yourself stumbling onto the Oval Office adn there he was- your husband in folden horns. A crowd of suited men around him.

He noticed your state. You had no time to compose yourself. But he raised a hand and their chatting voices silenced.

“Everyone! Leave- now!” he ordered, snapping his fingers.

They ducked and left. A few careful eyes at your frazzled, pensive state.

He went over and looked at you. Then he put one hand and put it under your cheek so you faced him. His voice was soft, yet subtly angry not at you, but at your tormenters.

“My darling…who did this to you?”

You sniffed. Then you answered him.

“All of the comments…online…I know I have to. It’s part of the platform. A First Lady has to have social media…but…but…”

He wiped a tear. Then you leaned onto him. His cold buttons grazed your cheek and he let you cling to him. Let yourself break down.

“What am I even doing? Why should I say or do anything online? They just want to tear you apart and spit you out! And they just want a lady who looks pretty and does or says nothing. Even when I wear anything, they tell me I look like cat vomit. I can’t win whatever I do, Loki. And the split second I try to do anything, say anything they…they..”

“Give me your phone,” he said.

You handed it to him. From his pocket, he took out a chip and attached it to yours.

“Firstly, I’m taking this away from you for now. You will get a new one for communication. I will not have my wife and First Lady miserable.”

He set the chip in.

“What are you doing?”

“Keeping track of them. We’re going to track them down. They’re going to regret every word of it…here…”

He sat down on the chair in the center and tapped his lap.

“Sit.”

How could you resist?

He set you on his lap. He pulled out his personal phone and immediately was making calls. You leaned into him, snuggling him close.

“Yes, Grant, I want you to hire a Social Media manager for the First Lady. Have the comments filtered and in need of approval before posted. Also, look for security. There are several people we must hunt down. They have threatened the security of the first lady. The tracker is on her phone, we’ll analyze the data on the comments and find each and every one of them- they cannot go on without consequence, don’t you think? Freedom of Speech is overrated anyway…hurry along, do it now- no- Grant, I don’t care if you’re about to get a blowjob from the Black Widow this second, I want you to do it!”

He ended the call.

He held you. And then kissed you. You leaned in more. How handsome he looked- his suit fixed up. His smirk was confident, rakish. You found you were straddling him, his hands on your hips. As you kissed again, he pushed his tongue inside.

“Oh…Loki…”

He raised your skirt some, to feel your bare leg.

“I feel if I make you cum, that would make you feel better…wouldn’t it?”

He slid a hand and saw you weren’t wearing underwear at your hip bone.

He tilted his head, his voice even quieter.

“And you followed my one little rule, too. Good girl.”

He held up the phone one last time, pressing a call.

“Barton, cancel my meeting for this hour. Reschedule it. Emergency, shall we say.”

Before the man on the other end could ask why he hung it up.

He smiled at you.

“Open wide, my dear.”

Keeping your legs open, he adjusted them to wrap around him. He backed you up to part of the wall. Not caring about the curtains of the window. Not caring about the security cameras.

In fact, let them watch if they want.

He kissed you intensely, his tongue inside and out. Tasting you. He lifted your skirt to your hips, backing you up. You hung onto him, shaking with wet, desperate need as he undid the zipper of his trousers.

“I’m going to fuck you. Fuck you so hard you won’t be able to walk and live the next week curled up in the lap of luxury, how does that sound?” he asked, his voice husky.

“Please- fuck me, Loki-”

“I’m the President-” he corrected.

“Fuck me, Mr. President-” you quietly begged.

He entered briskly. You let out a loud gasp. But you were already so soaked from him, it was clear. He kissed you again. One hand going to move one of your legs to hook around his waist.

He only slowed down so he could speak, his eyes intense.

“Yes, moan louder. I want them all to hear- I don’t care who hears- or sees. I want them-to- to know you’re mine- My little doll. My little toy. My First Lady- my wife-”

Your breasts bounced lewdly as he picked up speed, thrusting in and out of you. He pounded you so much, the portraits shook. You held onto his shoulders, and then his horns on his head. He was grunting like a madman.

He fucked hard, his hand digging.

“I want you to cry out, say what I am as you cum. I am Loki, I am your president, I rule you- say it- say it, fuck, I’m cumming-I’m going to-say it.”

You cried his title, your throat scratchy. Pleasure breaking on you, as well as on him.

He gently let you down. You adjusted his dark curls. He smoothed your dress, though your legs wobbled. The bliss of ecstasy makes you forget what even happened just an hour ago.

“Now…how do you feel now?” he asked.

You took in a deep breath, the blood still rushing and the world spinning.

“Better…” you replied.

He wrapped an arm around your waist. But he traced a finger down your spine, into your skirt.

“Good. Because I’m going to order some…gifts for you tonight. For you to wear beneath these dresses and skirts and blouses. And I want us to have dinner- just us. And when I rip off your clothes, that lace will be on you. Because, my dear, once this next meeting is done…we are far from over with this.”

#president loki #president loki smut #president loki x reader #president loki x y/n #president loki x fem! reader #president loki x fem! y/n #loki series #smut #loki my beloved #carrie writes #angst with a happy ending #fanfiction #loki #president loki imagine #loki fic #loki blurb #loki fanfiction #carrie's birthday blurbs

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yourimagines · 4 months

Note

can we please have NSFW alphabet for arthurtv? :)

Yes of course, I hope you like it

What he likes

* English is not my first language I apologise

* Gif is not mine

* Triggers: 18+, Smut, Kinks, swearing

A - Aftercare, What he likes after sex: he’s a big softy, so he absolutely loves taking care of you and himself after the deed. He likes to take a bath or shower with you, Wearing some cozy clothes and cuddle with you in bed or on the sofa, watching your favourite movie or tv show with some snacks.

B - Body part, his favourite body part of himself and yours: he likes his arms, you grabbed them a lot and that makes him feel good. He loves your thighs, he loves the way you squeeze your legs together as he lays his hand on them. Just loves them

C - Cum, Anything to do with cum: he isn’t a big fan of making a big mess but he likes to see it dripping out of you, just makes him go crazy.

D - Dirty Secret, A dirty secret of himself: he secretly wants to record you guys but he’s afraid. He doesn’t want the videos being leaked on the internet because only he can see and hear you like that. He’s also afraid that you find him a creep so he always makes sure his cameras are off and placed somewhere else.

E - Experience, How experienced is he? Does he know what he’s doing: He knows but is a bit shy and sometimes It looks like he doesn’t know but trust me he knows, he not innocent he’s just a bit shy.

F - Favourite Position: You on top riding him, he loves that. Even during a game or a movie just hop on top and ride him.

G - Goofy, Is he more serious in the moment, or is he more joking around: he jokes around because he’s a bit shy and doesn’t know how to respons, he never makes fun out of you tho only himself.

H - Hair, How well groomed is he: he shaves everything down there. He likes it that it’s clean, he doesn’t really care if you shave or not, he just doesn’t like it on his own private parts.

I - Intimacy, How is he during the moment, on a romantic aspect: Very romantic, sometimes a bit dirty but that’s only when he’s drunk and not shy. He likes to please you and shower you with affection and compliments. He isn’t a big fan of degradation, he wants you to feel loved and that’s not the vibe in his opinion to love someone.

J - Jack Off, Masturbation: he’s shy but not innocent, he will Jack himself off if he sees you posted a beautiful photo of yourself. He thinks a lot about you at night and just loses his fucking mind.

K - Kink, One or more of his kinks: well hes a shyer person but he really loves to role play with you, not to weird but just teasing each other. He loves to tie your hands so you can’t touch yourself.

L - Location, his Favourite places: bathroom or in the bedroom in bed, it’s a safe space for both of you. He also likes to do it in a hot tub but other places than that it’s a big no for him.

M - Motivation, What turns him on: if you straddle his lap, biting your lip, kissing his neck, being a little bit cheeky. He also loves to see you in his clothes that’s a big turn on for him as well.

N - NO, Something he wouldn’t do: No weird stuff like poop or piss stuff, no hitting or really hurting each other and no degradation. For the rest he’s open for everything.

O - Oral, Preference in giving or receiving: he likes both, he likes to go down on you and he likes it if you go down on him.

P - Pace, what is his pace: He’s a softer person so his pace is mostly sweet and slow but sometimes he’s a bit rougher and faster but still makes sure you’re okay with that. He loves when you are on top and goes nuts, he likes when you go rougher and faster because everything wiggles 😉

Q - Quickie, His opinions on quickies rather than proper sex: Big fan of proper sex, he isn’t a fan of quickies. He’s too awkward for that.

R - Risk, Does he likes take risks and game to experiment: no not really, he likes it when you do it, he’s too awkward and too self conscious about it.

S - Stamina, How many rounds can he go for, how long can he last: he can go for one good round, then he needs some time before he can go to the next round.

T - Toy, Does he own toys, Does he use them on you or himself?: he doesn’t own toys, he uses yours on you, he’s open for everything so maybe he will try them together on himself.

U - Unfair, how much he likes to tease: He likes to tease you a little bit because he doesn’t like to be teased so it’s not fair if he does it and you can’t. A little bit can’t hurt anyone right…?

V - Volume, How loud is he and what sounds does he makes: He mostly moans, whimpers and whines, most of the times it’s softly whimpering and some moans.

W - Wild Card: He likes everything you do, you want to go on top then you go top. You want him to fuck you, he fucks you.

X - X-Ray, what’s going on in his pants: he’s average length and it bends slightly to the right, completely shaven and a nice rosy tip.

Y - Yearning, How high is his sex drive: Average, Not every night but also not once a month. He likes sex but he also likes to just cuddle with you.

Z - ZZZ, how quick he falls asleep afterwards: he awake for a while, he’s full of energy and loves to spend some time with you afterwards.

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grave-z-boy · 4 months

Text

Arthur Morgan x Male!Reader

A/n: Tumblr straight up deleted the original ask :/ also the ending is kinda rushed cuz Ive been working on this for too long.

Request: if ur taking requests, can i request a arthur morgan x male reader where the reader gets kidnapped by o’driscolls, gets injured a lot, and arthur comes, pissed asf, screaming, “where is he” and shit, basically rescues reader, and comforts him later after they set up camp and basically start making out which the leads to sex, but arthur is super gentle, and very careful and isn’t sure if they should because of readers injuries but they do and he’s super sweet and, making sure reader is ok and stuff. (already were in a relationship prior to kidnapping) if this is way too much i get it lmfao. i like your writing a lot!! ~anonymous

Summary: Arthur rescues reader after he's been kiddnapped

Word count: 3,442

Warning: torture, murder, reader gets shot, bruises and scars, guns in general, passing out, smut, bottom!reader, top!Arthur Morgan, hurt/comfort, short smut.

A stray bullet flew so close to your ear that you could hear it cutting the air. The oozing hole in your leg only spit out more blood as you crouched down behind a tree, your shoulder pressed hard against the bark as you tried to keep your head from spinning. You whistled for your horse, only to hear a sudden pained whiny from her somewhere across the O’Driscolls camp, you swore under your labored breath. Another bullet flew past you.

Using the tree you pushed yourself up, the old, sharp bark tearing the skin on your palms. Breathing in, you tried to block out the searing pain in your leg. It worked just enough for you to peek around the tree and aim your pistol at the O’Driscoll. Squeezing the trigger, the man fell back, you hit him square in the chest.

He wasn’t the only one though- this camp was chock-full of O’Driscolls, and they were all looking for you. You spotted another man, hunting rifle in hand, slowly creeping into the tree line, you aimed, but he was faster, shooting you in the shoulder. It hurt like hell, you yelled as you hit the ground. He crept closer- he was fast, but he wasn’t a good shot, you could tell as he nervously reloaded his gun. The shot wasn’t enough to kill you, even if you let it sit and fester. Before he could aim again you raised your pistol and shot him, once in the chest, and when he didn’t go down you shot him between the eyes.

Letting out another breath, you pushed yourself onto your knees. Only to feel warm metal against your neck, before you could even swear, you were hit with the butt end of the gun, your vision blurring to nothing in a matter of seconds.

~~~~~~~~~

“He should of been back by now..” Arthur said for about the fourth time this hour.

“Y/n’s a strong man, he’ll be fine. Probably just…camping out again.” Karen, who’d had to listen to him complain about four times this hour, muttered, her hands and mind more focused on mending a pair of Sean’s pants.

Sitting with Karen tended to comfort Arthur more than it should have, but right now her presence only made it worse. Her husband was out there with you and yet she wasn’t worried. She sat idly sewing like death couldn’t come to her man at any time. Arthur knew all too well how death could sneak up on a person. Especially you, who have had at least a dozen near-death experiences this year alone, and dozens more in the years before that, and that's with Arthur around to try and keep you breathing, he doesn't like to think about the shit you’d gotten yourself into before you met. Some of your little stories, stories you told so casually, made him sick at best and unbearable angry at most. You were everything to him and to think of what people had done to you made his blood boil beneath his skin.

“Look there, it's Sean, Y/n shouldn't be too far behind.”

Looking up, Arthur watched Sean nearly fall off his horse, leaving his lead untied, then bolting straight towards Arthur.

“They got him!” Sean shouted as he ran through camp, “Those fuckers got Y/n!”

Arthur was on his feet faster than he could process, grabbing Sean by the collar, forcing the frantic, fidgety man to stay still- at least a little so he could explain himself.

“Who has him?” he asked through clenched teeth, he knew he shouldn't be mad at Sean but he was. Whatever happened, they were supposed to be watching each other.

He felt Karen's hand on his shoulder but paid it no mind.

“We were just riding around, found some O’driscal camp out North. I swear I didn't mean to leave him, but we were surrounded and I thought he’d get out on his own-”

“You left him?!”

“I heard a horse bolt and I thought he was on it-”

“Bullshit, you're a goddamn coward, Sean-”

“Arthur!” Karen shouted from behind him.

Arthur's grip on Sean loosed enough for Karen to drag him away, muttering comforting words to him.

Arthur was out of camp in less than a minute, pushing his horse to the limit, blowing past trees, towns, and other riders until he came across your horse, standing in the middle of the road, dried blood covering its left side.

He breathed out slowly, hopping off his horse, taking slow, careful steps towards the spooked thing, hesitating for a moment before petting him.

“That's it..” he muttered, listening to the horse whiny, “I know, I know. I'll find him..”

Arthur caught a glimpse of something moving out of the corner of his eye, just beyond the tree line. He took the lead of your horse and guided him off the road, carefully watching the barely hidden man. The only thing keeping Arthur from seeing him was the shadow cast by the trees and the rapidly falling sun.

With his hand hovering over his pistol, he gave your horse one last look before a sudden shiny glint caught his attention. He didn't think, whipping his pistol from its leather holder and firing, watching the glint disappear and the shadowy figure falls back.

Letting out a breath he didn't know he was holding, he walked forward into the treeline, glancing down at the body, and the gun in its hand, then stepping over it.

~~~~~~~~~

Your own senseless muttering was the only thing keeping you awake, pain searing across every part of your body, blood pooling beneath you, dripping from your wounds, down to your feet, and into the waiting puddle below. The quiet dripping of your blood had become too soothing, too rhythmic- in your exhausted form it had begun lulling you to sleep.

You knew you couldn’t, you weren’t stupid enough to let that happen. You’ve seen guys twice your size with wounds yards milder than yours take little naps and never wake up. You weren’t going to risk it.

You blinked in the darkness, you’re husband will be here soon. Sean rode out like his ass was on fire, camp was only a couple of miles away, Arthur will ride in here, ready to blow the whole damn camp- and every O’Driscoll he sees- sky high. You laughed at the thought, wincing when the slight move aggravated every open wound, as well as the robe burns around your wrist.

The door behind you slammed open, the pitch-black room was suddenly flooded with the warm, mid-day sunlight.

Heavy footsteps thudded behind you, getting louder and louder as they came towards you. Without warning, your hair is pulled back, your scalp flared with pain, but subsides quickly. You locked eyes with the man, tall and pale, yet so strong, as you had learned over the past few hours.

“How many times do I have to tell you to shut up?” he growled, a forced glare on his face.

You opened your mouth to respond, something hurtful and defiant, just as all of your other words had been. But you couldn’t, your throat was dry, and the bruise on your cheek was sweltering. So you just stared at the man.

There was a sudden thud from outside, then another, and another.

You blinked hard, the tall man let go of you, hand on his holster, creeping towards the door. He peaked around the door, glanced at you with that same forced glare, then back out the door. When breathed in deeply, then jumped into the doorway, whipping his gun out as fast as he could. It was in his hand maybe half a second before he was shot at least four times, falling back when the first two hit him square in the face, the other two must have just been for fun, once in the neck, then in the chest.

Unnecessary, rageful- more thuds came from outside, shouting, screaming, gunshot. You closed your eyes, letting your head hang low, finally relaxing your strained neck. You were being rescued.

~~~~~~~~~

The O’Driscoll camp wasn't hard to find, from afar, it looked normal, a couple of guys sat in an unhorsed wagon, drinking, and laughing, a couple more were cooking around a fire. Two were standing guard outside the door of a shack, the only permanent building in the camp, all holding guns. Every last member of the O’Driscoll camp.

Arthur breathed out, he wanted to think this out, he wanted to be reasonable, he wanted to sneak you out the back, a quiet escape. But it was too peaceful here, they were having too nice of a day and you were somewhere, hurt- or…worse- and they didn't care or better yet they were happy about it. About your pain.

Arthur checked his gun, then his knife, it's all he needed.

Then, he charged.

The first man to notice him didn't even get to get a word out before being met with a bullet, the next four followed the same fate. The last man from around the fire made a perfect hostage. Young, the whole crew jumped when he was grabbed. Arthur held a gun to his head, one arm around his throat, glaring at the others as they closed in around him.

“Let ‘im go!” one of the men shouted, gun trained on Arthur.

He wouldn't shoot, it was too close of a shot.

“I'm only gonna ask once,” Arthur yelled, the man shrunk away from him, “Where is y/n!”

Silence.

Arthur pulled the hammer of his gun back.

“We don't know no ‘y/n’, whoever the hell he is, he ain't here!” the same man as before shouted.

Arthur blinked, then pulled the trigger. The man hung limply in his grip for a second before he let him crumble to the floor. A bullet flew past Arthur's ear a second later.

Somebody here is fast- a shame he can't aim.

Arthur shot the five men down before anymore could pull their guns.

The camp erupted into a mix of shouting orders, and screams of pain as Arthur made his way through the camp. His gun was holstered in exchange for a knife and his bare fist.

Another man, also young with dark hair, watched with wide horrified eyes as Arthur practically tore a man open with his knife, then set his sights on him. Running didn't work, he didn't get very far. Jerked back by the back of his collar, turned around with so much force his legs gave up on coordination and ended up in a heap. Arthur held him by his rumpled, red shirt.

“Where is he?!” Arthur said through gritted teeth, his voice deep and guttural, panting from the force he'd used on every man in this camp who stood in very similar positions to the man he was holding right now.

“The shack-” the man nearly cried, choking on his own breath, “it’s-it’s where we keep our meat.”

Arthur shoved the man to the floor, his back hitting the ground with enough force to crack it.

In the short moment he had- he could hear more members of the camp coming- he reloaded his gun.

Two O’Driscolls came from behind a large tent. Arthur got them in one shot, straight through both mens chests, they collapsed on top of each other in a soon-to-be rotting heap.

The rush of O’Driscoll’s was brought to a quick and brutal end. The last line of defense for the meat shack- for you- was a tall, pale man.

With bullets to spare, Arthur emptied the barrel of his gun into the man, storming into the shack. It was dark, the soft light the sun provided wasn't enough, old wood creaking beneath his boots as he took slow, careful steps inside. Vague figures, six, hanging from the ceiling.

Even in the dark, he recognized you immediately. His heart sank as you hung there, unmoving.

A sudden deep breath broke the silence, then a groan. You shifted slightly against the rope around your wrist, muttering something as you did.

Holstering his gun, he sped over to you, putting both hands on your face, and even in the impossibly low light he could still see your eyes staring straight into his.

Cutting you down and carrying you out was a blur, he didn't look at you, your body, he didn't think he could, not with how he was now. He knew you were hurt, you'd hissed painfully when he picked you up, and despite his attempts to keep his eyes off of you, he could see that your shirt, at the very least, was torn and stained with blood.

He felt like he was burning, even with the camp extirpated and you safe in his arms. He still felt a furor building in his chest as he searched for your horses.

Your head rested against his chest, eyes just barely open, vision entirely blurred.

Unaware of your surroundings, you let Arthur’s familiar presence take you over. Listening to his ragged breath and pounding heart.

You don't remember being brought to camp or dozing off, but you felt better, your arms felt lighter and your head had stopped spinning, you could feel bandages on your shoulder, stomach, and leg. You blinked, looking down at yourself, your clothes had been changed, they were mismatched but comfortable. Resting your head back against the cot, glancing around the little camp Arthur had set up.

Kneeling by the fire, swearing under his breath as he stared into the hanging pot.

Pushing yourself up, you realized how sore your wrists still were, but you pushed passed it. Finding your barrings, you walked over to him, feeling dirt and twigs crunch under your boots. Arthur, staring so deeply into the pot, so frustrated with everything and everyone, did not hear you coming.

You sat behind him, wrapping your arms around him, squeezing him tight, feeling his warmth envelope your aching body.

“Hey, Hon..” you muttered into his neck, your throat was a little sore, you realized.

His hand found yours quickly, but they lingered on your wrist, over what would soon be scars. You breathed deeply, setting your head on his shoulder.

“Rope burn ‘s no joke”

You heard him breathe out.

“I was so…” he started, trying to find the word.

Enraged, pissed, livid, angry-

“..scared. With Sean riding into camp the way he did I couldn't help but think the worst.”

Sighing, you moved carefully to sit next to him. Your bruises ached, your cuts and gashed burned, and the bullet wound in your shoulder felt like hell, but you smiled.

“You know I'm not going anywhere, not without you. If I'm going to hell you bet your ass I'm taking you with me.”

Hd smiled softly, “I know, I know,”

Stirring the pot a bit, he said “Food’s not gonna be done for a while.”

“How long?”

“‘Bout an hour.”

You hummed, leaning your head on his shoulder, a moment passed, you pressed a kiss into the leather of his coat, another moment passed, you kissed his neck, right under his jaw. You felt him shift his head to the side.

A few more moments and a few more kisses later he pulled away. He was already hesitant to reciprocate, he'd seen the extent of your injuries when he was cleaning you up, it was a hard sight to see. So many cuts and bruises that no matter how hard he tried he couldn't keep track of them all.

The second he reciprocated, wrapping his arm around your waist and pulling you closer to him, kissing you slowly, his hand curling around your hip- he pulled away when a small, pained noise left your throat.

Guilt immediately flooded Arthur, his heart clenching, then dropping into his stomach when you moved your pants down to reveal a deep purple bruise. Still fresh and no doubt painful.

He mumbled your name as you checked out the bruise, then fixed your pants, looking back up at Arthur like nothing had happened.

“I’m okay,” you said, your mood clearly not phased the way Arthur’s was.

“I’m sorry..”

You hummed, getting close and leaning your head on his shoulder.

“Don’t be.”

“You know I can't help it..”

You pressed a short kiss into the crook of his neck.

“Then make it up to me.”

It was a well known fact that Arthur was wrapped around your finger, you knew it, he knew it, and all your friends at camp knew it. So it didn't take much begging, despite his better judgment.

His brain was screaming at him- you were hurt, covered in bruises. Sex would not make you better, it would actually make you worse.

Yet here he was, kneeling on the cot with you laying in front of him, a relaxed smile on your face as he popped each button on you pants open. You spread your legs, hanging them over Arthur’s hips. He hesitated.

Your hands found his in a moment, pulling them up to your lips and kissing from his wrist all the way up to the tips of his fingers. He sat there silently admiring you, every touch of your lips stinging him with a feeling of both guilt and need.

You stopped with a bite, taking the tip of his thumb in your mouth, biting with just a little bit of pressure. Then you kissed it like you had done all the others. It brought to mind a rougher memory, with you at his mercy, with him doing nothing while watching you writhe, pleas falling from your lips rapidly.

He blinked and the memory was gone.

Arthur let out a slow, unsteady breath. Then leaned down, burying his face in your neck, listening to your breath, feeling your pulse, kissing your exposed skin. Hearing the relieved sigh you let out, he began to grasp just how much you wanted him.

With practices ease, he blindly unbuttoned your shirt, moving from marking your neck to marking your exposed chest.

As gently as he could muster, he ran his hands down your sides, feeling the hard, hot bruises that littered your body.

You breathed out as he went farther and farther down, from your neck, to your chest, all the way down to your barely exposed hip. His fingers in two belt loops, slowly tugging your pants lower and lower. He kissed every inch of your skin, and every time he exposed more, he devoured it.

Pulling back to take your pants all the way off, nearly disturbing the now healing cut that went across your thigh. Your already hard cock rested against your stomach. Balling up your pants and setting them to the side. Resisting the urge to run his hands across each scab that had formed on your skin. A deep-seated urge to soothe and comfort, but he knew he couldn't do much more than he already had.

He pressed into you slowly, holding your hip steady in his hands, your thighs flinching several times, bitting down on to your lip as the pain of being stretched open lit every nerve in you body. Letting out a rigid, stuttered breath as he slowly pulled out after a moment of waiting- your hand squeezing his arm, giving him permission to move.

He did, holding your body close to his, reveling in every little whimper and moan, no matter how small. His praise boundless and constant as he thrust into you. You could feel him holding back, you’ve been with Arthur far too long to no know- he’s doing it for your well-being- you probably couldn’t handle more that what he’s giving you now.

Your body clung to Arthur’s as you came, your own shattered breath was the only sound you could hear for a long moment. Slowly releasing Arthur from your crushing grip, you blinked as your vision - which you hardly even realized was skewed- became clear again, and the mildly worried face of your lover came into view.

You couldn't help but smile- not that you wanted to let help it- especially as relief flooded his rigid figure.

“‘You okay?”

You nodded, shutting your eyes for a moment, finding that opening them became harder with every second that passed. You could hear Arthur talking, small mutters to you or to himself, your words only came out as a quiet, incoherent noise. You were exhausted, but quite happy. Even as your body settled and new pains set in with the old ones. You were happy.

#male reader #male!reader #x male reader #male y/n #arthur morgan x male reader #arthur morgan x male!reader #red dead redemption 2 x male reader #red dead redemption 2 x male!reader #red dead redemption 2 #✮ — z boy

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bonny-kookoo · 6 months

Note

Sugar & Spice mentioned Jin had looked after OC before… Could you do a drabble on the first time Jungkook ever enlisted Jin to look after OC? 👀 I feel like they could make a chaotic pairing being left alone together.

trust me it did not go the way you thought it did

You're staring him down from the spot on the couch where Jungkook had told you goodbye- unmoving.

It was all very sudden, and with the secret of your existence not yet revealed, he had no other choice but to attend the spontaneous schedule his company had decided. And considering only Seokjin knew of you, and had some sort of experience with Hybrids as well due to taking care of his brother's in the past, Jungkook found it to be the best solution.

Because the Idol doesn't trust carecenters. As soon as they'd know you were his, they'd surely get tempted to reveal it to the public in exchange for a good sum of money- or even just to taint his image. And he couldn't have that.

His image wasn't the issue. But whatever might happen to you.

But while you got along somewhat okay with Jin when Jungkook was around, it's clear now that it's an entirely different story when you're alone with the older Idol. He knows about all your food preferences and possible triggers, Jungkook made sure to text him basically an entire manual on how to properly take care of you, including your regular meal- and bedtimes.

And he also made sure to mention that you might not talk at all, since Jin is still somewhat of a stranger, after all.

"Alright. What do you want to eat?" Seokjin asks you, holding the small table towards you where a takeout menu is already displayed. "Don't be shy. Jungkook won't know if you just order icecream and nothing else." He jokes, but you instead pull your legs closer to yourself, shaking your head. "No? Want something else?" He asks, but again, you shake your head.

Seokjin sighs, before he sits down next to you.

"I promise you." He tells you kindly. "He's gonna be back tomorrow night to pick you up. You just gotta stay with me for a bit so you're not alone, you know?" He explains to you. "Maybe we can videocall him later when he's back at the hotel. Would that help?" He wonders, and at that, your ears turn towards him before you nod. "There we go. Now let's wipe that sad face off of you with some good food!" He cheers, causing you to giggle a little at his enthusiasm.

And later, he keeps his promise- videochatting with Jungkook later on to have you talk to your comfort person, who's making sure to tell you multiple times that you can eat whatever you want, and that it's also okay to stay up late and play games with Jin if you'd like.

And he also makes sure to tell you that he loves you-

and that he'll always come back for you, no matter what.

#bts imagine #bts fanfic #bts fic #jungkook imagine #jeon jungkook x reader #jeon jungkook imagine #hybrid imagine #bts jungkook imagine #seokjin x reader #seokjin imagine #bts jungkook fanfic #bts jungkook x reader #jungkook x reader

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foreheadkiss3s · 5 months

Text

tate langdon x gn! reader.

trigger warnings : really sad thoughts going through the readers mind. i let my drama queen take over and everything came out too dramatic.

angst/ fluff at the end if you squint your eyes really hard.

this is so messy, really, it’s just a drabble i wanted to put out but i think i’ll probs end up deleting it since i feel like it’s cringey. also, english is not my first language so whatever (and wherever) mistake you might find, please bear with me.

I know it might be confusing, or even worse, not make sense at all. but i just let my messy thoughts flow and that’s the result.

just to get things a bit more clear, tate is still alive and dealing with his situation back home while reader is the only friend he managed to make in high school. the reader was at the house, not the murder house ( let’s just assume the reader’s house it’s near that ) and tate just presented himself there after the reader became distant with him.

« I’m sorry. »

You know about those days, when you wake up and your eyes reflexively land on the window? And then they wander up, and get to notice the soft hue of the blue sky, lightened up by the sun? And it’s almost as if you could feel the warmth of the sun rays seeping through your window?

Perhaps it’s the warmth of the covers, the cozy feeling that you get every time when you just wake up and that later on makes you whine because you know you’ll have to leave that warm place soon to get up and get ready for school. But it’s almost as if you had a restart.

For five minutes— sometimes even less, it depends on how much it takes your brain to process the world outside of your mind again— you get to feel like you’ve just been reborn, and that everything would be alright.

But then it all comes crumbling down.

Your brain registers where you are, the reality you live, and the obnoxious routine you have to do everyday. Get up. Brush your teeth and hair. Skip breakfast because you’re always late. Get dressed. Go to school. Wish to get home during and in between classes. Get finally home, but then you get frustrated because it’s always the same damn thing.

You don’t know what it is that frustrates you, that angers you so much and sometimes even makes you cry. That drains you, leaving you so exhausted that you end up falling asleep only to wake up the next morning and experience the same thing again.

Perhaps, you think, that you’re crazy. Maybe you’re spiralling out of reality. Maybe you’re just being an ungrateful teenager. Maybe, maybe, maybe.

Maybe you just want to sleep forever.

But, when you think you can’t take it no more, here comes Tate.

Sometimes you think he’s weird. Not in a bad way, you think he’s just.. weird. He’s one of the most pessimistic people you know, always looking down on the human specie and labelling it as some sort of stupid being. Yet, when it comes to the state you’re slowly falling in, he seems to suck it out of you.

You don’t know how to explain it properly— you don’t even understand it yourself, but it’s almost as if he is a sponge. Just by staying near you, he sucks all the darkness away. He’s like a black hole, but instead of absorbing everything he just absorbs your darkness. Or perhaps he’s just a little hypocrite that doesn’t allow you to be pessimistic just like he is.

Even though you know.. you know that referring to Tate as pessimistic is the least you could call him.

You hate it when he gets clingy, and that happens very often. Who are you kidding? it always happens, hence why you always resort to unkind ways to get him to leave you. You just want to be alone sometimes.

Tate might argue with you and say that it’s more than sometimes, it’s always.

You’re not a good person, you know that. You’re selfish and you don’t care who you’re hurting when it comes to you and the decisions you make.

You didn’t care when you started hanging out with a boy and spent less and less time with Tate. Why did you do it though? You still question yourself.

Yeah, he might be clingy, attached to your hip, dependant on you and the list could go on just like that. But he was the only one that showed you how much you mean, or perhaps, how much you could mean to somebody.

You never thought it possible that a being could be so much for another being.

Tate is your only friend. Even though you’re not sure of that anymore since all you did for the past few weeks—maybe month, was avoiding and ignoring him.

At the beginning it was just to get a little time alone. But then it started becoming more of an avoidance, and now? You thought you were avoiding him out of shame.

But he was your only friend, and you pushed him away for what? To test if you could feel something different than the void you were currently drowning in? How could you have been that selfish?

His eyes seem to be asking you the same questions as he stares deep down inside your soul. His kaleidoscope honeyed eyes.

« I’ll.. » a sob breaks his voice, and his attempt to hold back his tears fails, making the tears break through and fall down his cheeks like diamonds, «.. I’ll leave never bother you again if that’s what you want »

For the first time in weeks you feel something so authentically powerful that it almost knocks the breath out of your lungs.

You’re sat there, on your messy, still unmade, bed as you’re looking into his eyes. And he stares back at you almost as if he has already been there, in that position— unwanted and thrown to the side, times and times before. But still it causes him pain.

It’s a subtle but yet stinging feeling. Like a cut being slit open again by a sharp dagger with its blade covered in salt. It’s a swift movement, a methodical cut, because it always seems to be hurting in the same spot.

You don’t say anything.

« You’re just like her. » Constance. Tears stream down his face like pouring rain. His voice taking the resemblance of a wave as sometimes it gets higher and other times it comes crashing down, stopping abruptly to let his tears fall down silently.

Just like rain in the ocean.

Silence fills the room yet again.

« Please.. p-please.. » How come that he’s the one begging you and not the other way around? What is he pleading for?

You frown looking at him, still staring into his eyes like a stone cold bitch. And you might’ve even been one to someone else’s eyes. But not to his.

You were just as hurt and lost as he was.

He got down on his knees, sliding on them on the carpeted floor until he was by your legs, as you were still sitting down on your bed. He sobbed and sniffled as he got in between your legs and let his head slowly come down to rest on your lap. «..d-don’t leave me.

you’re the only thing I have left.. y-you don’t have to do anything just.. p-please.. please I need you. You’re everything to me.. I-I’m.. I.. »

How could you have let everything spin out of control?

You were sorry.

You were so sorry.

Your vision became so blurry, almost as if a plastic wall was swiftly building itself up on your eyes, until it broke down and you felt warm droplets of water strike your cheeks. You were sorry as you could see the hurting boy sobbing on your lap because of your selfish behaviour.

You didn’t know what had happened to you to get you to this point, to hurt mindlessly like that the only person that cared about you. But you knew you were sorry and you wanted to wipe everything you did away.

Your hand, slowly, made its way on his head covered by the soft honeyed hair. You let your fingers slip and comb through the strands of his hair while you finally felt something.

« I’m sorry. » a broken whisper left your mouth.

just wanted to apologize again as i’m sure it came out more cringy than anything, but if you have some advice to give me please feel free to leave a comment ( or just straight up tell me to stop writing and never do it again 🤪 ).

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galene-gothic · 1 year

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𝖶𝗁𝗈 𝖺𝗋𝖾 𝗒𝗈𝗎, 𝗋𝖾𝖺𝗅𝗅𝗒?

୧ ‧₊˚ ⋅* ‧₊ I hope this reading found you in good health, every reblog is appreciated and thank you for everything :) ˖♡ ˎˊ˗ ꒰ 🐇 ꒱

˗ˏˋ༻ʚ♡︎ɞ༺ˎˊ˗ PAID SERVICES

⸼ ۫ ︎︎⊹ ! 🪡︎ Pile 1 ꒱

꒰ Who do you think you are ? ꒱

This seems to be touching more on what you're experiencing right now or have experienced in the past. You think that you're heartbroken, it's coming through quite strongly here. You think that your emotions run deep which results in you feeling hurt very deeply too. You think that you're lonely and kinda alienated from others. Some of you might have gotten deeply betrayed by people who you really trusted which has left you wondering if it's even worth it at all. I think that we both know that you're not in the best place right now. However, you're starting to have realisations that are really helping you at this time. As much as you're heartbroken, you don't want to and will not lose your compassionate self. You're seperating yourself from things and people that hurt you but I'm getting that you're the kind of person who desires closures so things feel incomplete to you on a subconscious level but you have a deep understanding that you've outgrown those situations and even if it's heartbreaking, you're moving away, even if it's uncomfortable, you're starting to choose peace and happiness. You think that you're someone who learns lessons from every experience especially heartwrenching ones.

You think that right now you're kind of purging, the universe/god/whatever you believe in seems to be clearing away the crap from your life, be it people, situations or your own unhealthy habits. I'm getting that this purging is very uncomfortable for you. You think that you've got atleast alright social skills. You think that you're open to loving people and want to express positive emotions (affection) to others in a deep and touching manner. You think that you are a person who helps others heal even if it triggers them, you see yourself as someone who has tried to heal really vile people in the past. I'm getting that you're starting to take more pride in having been a good friend/partner/daughter to people, if you don't then you should. You think that you're really careful with people's emotions and pretty good at understanding patterns especially emotional ones. You seem to be going through a new beginning, emotionally. You see yourself as peace loving. When you love someone you start looking at things from their perspective, you're very sensitive towards their needs and even if you have gotten into situations that were abusive or toxic, you've always tried to maintain the other person's or the relationship's peace. You think that people find it easier to open up to you regarding things than with others.

꒰ Who are you, really ? ꒱

You're someone who wants to leave behind a legacy. You wish to be abundant in every sense, you want the money, the love, the life that others can only dream of having. You care about your family deeply, for some of you, you might have family issues but even so, you sacrifice a lot for them. When you love someone, you consider them to be family and they become the center of your world. You are wealthy, if not financially (yet), you're wealthy when it comes to experiences. You might have experienced significant losses in your life which has always managed to get you closer to yourself. You like to make others feel like they belong because you've felt like you don't fit in for majority of your life, for some of you, it's still difficult to find people who you truly vibe with. The people who make you feel like you belong are very important to you, you grow affection towards such people very easily. You're a harmonious person, you care about reputation, material resources and money a lot but you hold just as much value to emotions, relationships (both platonic and romantic) and growing internally.

Compared to other people, you're pretty self aware in regards to your negative traits and know how to live with integrity which provides you with a sense of fulfillment. The thing about you guys is that you cannot be labelled because of how complex your personality is and also because of how balanced you are. While, for some people they could choose between love and money if they had to, it's difficult for you to do so because of how much importance you hold to both of them. I'm getting that you guys want a stable environment, a home to call your own but also cannot exactly be tied down, you likely know that you cannot do a 9-5 but a part of you likes the structure and routine that a 9-5 provides. There's a part of you that wants to settle down and there's another part of you that wants to fly really high. You're integrating a different version of yourself in your current self and it has not been easy for you but you're resilient and you're completing a cycle. You're strong enough to face any challenge, you've always overcome the hardest battles and you'll continue doing so in the future if it comes to it. I'm so proud of you.

⸼ ۫ ︎︎⊹ ! 🪡︎ Pile 2 ꒱

꒰ Who do you think you are ? ꒱

You guys probably know that you're pretty. You think that you're a mature person who's emotionally intelligent. You think that you're kind, loving and sensitive. You think that you get hurt pretty easily. You think that one of your positive and negative traits is your ability to daydream. You think that you're a loyal and forgiving person who loves people at all costs. You think that you hope for the best for people. You think you've got many deep insights on life and that your presence is healing. You think that you're understanding and forgiving. However, you also think that you end up burdening yourself by taking responsibility for other people's emotions. You see yourself as someone who's kind of burnt out as of lately. You think that you're often taken for granted and tend to struggle a lot :(. Most of you haven't had an easy life but you keep on pushing yourself. Your ability to never give up is really admirable and I think that you respect yourself for that. You might have gone through humbling experiences recently which is causing you to focus on your duties and confidence. You think that you're a hardworking person who doesn't really mind carrying the relationship, I think that is starting to change. You think that you have the tendency to be obsessive at times.

In the past, you might have made a lot of sacrifices for others but now you're starting to realise that that's not how it's supposed to be. Now, you're starting to make sacrifices for the life you wish to live is what I'm getting. You think that you tend to take more than you can handle but still manage to get it done, however, you're starting to realize that biting more than you can chew is not good for you. You think that you're really ambitious but you might have been lazy in the past, you're starting to stay disciplined now and I think that's one of the best things that you've been doing. You think that you tend to get really stressed out because of how seriously you take everything. You think that you've lost yourself but you're trying to take this opportunity to build yourself as a better person. I'm getting that you've tried to protect people by handling their responsibilities, helping them work through their trauma, even taking blame for their mistakes, etc. Which didn't leave you well. You might have felt like you destroyed yourself but you're starting to build compassion towards yourself again because you realise that it's not your fault that you care about people, it's not your fault that they couldn't have been kinder to you, it's on them, it's their loss. You tend to struggle with loneliness.

꒰ Who are you, really ? ꒱

You're actually who you think that you are. You're an emotionally intelligent person and love people deeply. You're sensitive, loyal, forgiving and never give up on love. You have a lot of empathy towards others. I think that you don't know some things about yourself though or even though you know it, you tap into those parts very unconsciously. First of all, you care about money and material possessions, you are also pretty thrifty with money. You are a pretty practical person and like to weigh out risks and potential outcomes before investing. Your ability to grow is beyond astounding, you're always growing, you're always becoming better but you haven't tapped into your potential entirely. You like to set goals and follow through with achieving them. Even though you have the tendency to daydream, you're much more grounded than other people your age. You have so much potential that you're not even aware of. Right now, some of you here are like "I know that I have a lot of potential" but you have even more potential than you think.

You especially have a lot of potential when it comes to money, you know how to be realistic when things come to it. I'm not sure how to say it but your relationship with earth or the material realm is much stronger than your relationship with spirit. You can ground anything you want to into reality unless you're choosing to be lazy 💀. Some of you might be artists here, while some of you have the soul of an artist but haven't been able to harbour your skills to the point where you could call yourself an artist? I'm getting that whenever you see this, you should focus on money and improving your skills when it comes to any artform that you feel called to. For you, healing is very important. You really care about your own and other people's emotions. I get the vibe that people not considering your emotions can make you really upset at times even though usually you choose to understand where they're coming from. You're a really loving person too. You're a really romantic person who has deep insights on life. You might sometimes feel like no one deserves you because of how loving you are.

⸼ ۫ ︎︎⊹ ! 🪡︎ Pile 3 ꒱

꒰ Who do you think you are ? ꒱

Right now, you're probably transitioning and you're aware of it. You think that you're someone who overcomes any hardship that comes upon you. You think that you're in a healing period right now. I'm also getting that you might have helped or tried to save a lot of people in the past when they were down but when you're down, you're having to go through everything all by yourself. You seem to be running away from something. I'm getting that it's not anything bad, like you're not ghosting people, you're just choosing to get away from bad energy. You think that things are finally starting to be calmer for you and that you're moving into a positive direction. You're making a lot of progress in your everyday life. You think that you're someone who learns from your regrets. You think that you've mentally left situations even if you're unable to leave them physically due to whatever reason. You think that you have a lot of courage and are an independent thinker. You think that you're releasing your past pains and starting to take more responsibility over your own happiness. You're likely exhausted and taking a rest right now.

You're trying your best to regain control over your life again and to balance things out. You feel supported by the universe or whatever you believe in right now, you feel like the universe sends in someone to help redirect you everytime you are about to go astray. You think that you're moving towards creating a more stable and comfortable life for yourself. You're either on the verge of leaving someone or something in the past or you already have. This is talking more about things that you're going through and the energy you're in right now. Let's move towards what you think about yourself, you think that you're a prideful person. I'm getting that it's very important for you to be proud of yourself, proud of your partner, proud of your friends, etc. You think that you naturally attract attention. You think that you're a confident person who possesses a lot of inner strength. You're starting to realise that achievements mean a lot to you. You want to be successful and some of you have a feeling that you are destined to be in the public eye in some way. You think that you're constantly working on improving yourself as being and feeling confident is very important to you.

꒰ Who are you, really ? ꒱

One thing I can clearly pick up on is that you feel completely drained out. I'm actually surprised that you still have the energy to try and make your life better. Your attempt at trying to stay positive is quite admirable too. You have a lot of setbacks in your life right now. It's as if nothing is working out. It seems to be really worrisome to be honest, you might be on the verge of not being able to continue your education or job anymore, some of you might be on the verge of losing your home, etc. You're still choosing to be courageous and not lose your mind though. You're persistent on making things better for yourself. You've learnt lessons from your past failures and mistakes and you're choosing to practically apply those lessons into your life. You also seem to be really guarded, with your time, energy, money, information about your life, etc. Regardless of how bad things might be going for you and how many setbacks seem to be placed on your path, you're choosing to push forward. You're tired of everything, you just want to be stable at this point. You also seem to be really wounded from all your past experiences. You're actually going through a really hard time right now, you know that but you don't feel like it because you are doing your best, I'm so proud of you. You're a resilient person who's choosing to have faith in how things play out while still trying your best to get your desired outcome/outcomes. It's like, you know that things can't possibly get any worse so you might as well choose to have a positive attitude towards things, that's what you think subconsciously.

I think again, we ended up picking up more of your energy than on you, so moving on to who you really are. You were meant to give out and receive love. Socializing is like second nature to you. Maybe, not anymore but most of you were very good at socializing as a child. You hold pure intentions towards other people and choose to deal with emotions in a balanced way. You're someone who doesn't really try to make your feelings towards someone stop growing unless they do you dirty. You also really seem to enjoy the early stages of relationships and crushes. You're an emotionally open person even though you're really guarded and choose to love people freely. However, you might have a fear of commitment and might purposely like people who are commitment phobic too or you know you won't last with. You like forming new connections and tend to go with the flow while still wondering how to control situations. You don't seem to have a balance, you either go with the flow to the point you almost don't care or you become really controlling. You're actually very peaceful and peace loving. I'm trying to figure out how and why your life is so chaotic. You know how to maintain your emotional well-being while not losing your ability to love. You're actually pretty satisfied and fulfilled with yourself and that's why you seem to keep going despite everything. You know how to make others happy :'). I'm so proud of you, keep loving, take care.

#pac #pac reading #intuitive readings #pick a card #pick a deck #tarot pac #tarot pick a card #future spouse pick a card

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redr0sewrites · 7 months

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Hi!!! Hope you’re having a wonderful day! I was wondering if you could write some head cannons for the hashira (separate) x a reader who has health issues that cause difficulty breathing and the need to use a nebulizer (it’s a machine with a mask that you wear in inhale medication in case you didn’t know), and how they react to some of the side affects of it (tiredness, fatigue, mild full body shaking, hyperactivity) this is very much me projecting due to me not seeing much rep of these types of conditions. totally understand if you don’t feel comfortable doing it, I understand that these types of things can be scary or triggering for some but I figured I might as well ask. Again I hope your having a lovely day and thank you for reading <3

OFC!!! lmk if theres anything i need to adjust or info thats inaccurate, i dont have person experience with this form of condition and i attempted to write it as accurately as i can but if i need to adjust ANYTHING please inform me!! :D

🥀CW: some angst (with comfort), nebulizer, mentions of sickness, mentions of medication and medicine, shaking, exhaustion, etc

🥀Characters: All the Hashiras (minus Muichiro cuz i dont write for him) x sick!reader

Rengoku

When you first explained your condition to him, he was a little confused

Asked a lot of questions about your nebulizer, the type of medication you took, and overall just wanted to learn about it!

Rengoku is always asking if your okay, he is very blunt about it because he worries ab you a lot, however he doesnt show it since he wouldnt want to upset you

will ABSOLUTELY help you with anything you need, say for example your feeling especially tired or shaky, he will not leave your side! your happiness is always his top priority<3

Throughout the day, he does consistent check-ins to make sure you've eaten, drank water, and taken your medication. if you havent, rengoku will remind you that you probably should and will help you if necessary!

when your feeling tired, he pulls you into the biggest bear hug and lets you rest in his arms-

"Have you taken your medication today baby?" Rengoku's voice was softer than usual, making sure not to surprise you as he walked up behind you. He wrapped his arms around your waist, pressing a kiss onto the top of your head as you nodded. "thats good! I'm so proud of you, you know that?"

Tengen

your absolutely getting the royalty treatment, your getting PAMPERED!

can and will pay for all of your medical expenses, whether it be medication, the cost of the nebulizer, and anything else you want- he is very insistent about it!

Tengen wants you to live your life to to the fullest and flashiest extent possible, regardless of your condition and does everything possible to make life fun for you!

He would be understanding of your limits tho, and I think he would really enjoy carrying you around simply because it lets him take care of you. he would never want you to overwork yourself or push yourself on his behalf, and will check in on you if your looking particularly tired!

he wants to marry you the first chance he gets!

You were cleaning off your nebulizer as your husband came up behind you. "Here, let me~" Tengen whispered in your ear, moving your hands away from the nebulizer to wash it instead. "Tengen, I can do it myself..." you muttered, and he grinned at you. "I know, but what kind of man would I be if I let someone as beautiful as you do all the hardwork, hm?" His words made your cheeks flush, and he placed the nebulizer down as he wrapped his arms around your waist, dipping you low and kissing you extravagantly. "I love you doll~"

Shinobu

She is sooo protective over you, but in the best way! Shinobu is always making sure that your staying healthy and taking your medication, and will check up on your breathing whenever necessary!

Shinobu shows her affection through actions rather than words, especially when it comes to you. She knows she can never fully relate to what your feeling, but does her best to show she cares

She definitely educated herself on your condition and read up on possible treatment and ways to ease symptoms. she would never do anything you weren't comfortable with, but is always offering new treatments that may help improve your life!

When your feeling like shit, she will practically force you to stay in bed and let her take care of u!

Shinobu hummed softly, gently taking the mask of your nebulizer off your face before leaning in to kiss you. "Dont overwork yourself.." she murmured softly, moving closer to wrap her arms around you and run her hands through your hair. "I love you so much, little butterfly.."

Obanai

When you first tell him about it, he honestly isnt that phased

He doesnt view you any differently than he did before, and he thinks your perfect with or without your condition.

Obanai is always keeping an eye on you, just to make sure you don't get hurt or overwork yourself. He'll softly ask you questions about how your feeling, and stares intently at you making sure your not in any form of pain, physically or mentally

he is great to talk to if your upset, and while he may not relate or understand, he will do his best to listen

whenever your tired, obanai will carry you on his back to where you want to go! if your shaky, he will hold things for you and he will ask if its okay for him to help you, he would never want to overstep or make you feel incapable

Kaburamaru likes you a lot as well, and enjoys resting with you when your tired and will watch over you when Obanai cant!

Your hands shook as you attempted to pour the water into the mug, frustration boiling in your gut at your inability to do this seemingly simple task. "Let me." Obanais smooth voice made you stop as he gently reached out, steadying your hands with his own. "Do you want help?" Obanai and Kaburamaru studied your face, and you nodded softly. In perfect synchronization, Obanai held the mug for you while you poured the water in and added the tea bag. Obanai admired you, hearts in his eyes as he wrapped his arms around your waist in a gentle hug.

Mitsuri

she is ENAMORED with you she finds your persistence and strength beautiful in every way!!

mitsuri def wanted to understand how you felt and what your condition was like, and would also ask a lot of questions

SHES SO CLINGYYYYY its honestly adorable bc shes always holding you or hugging you and asking you how you feel!

if your tired or worn out, she practically drags u into bed to cuddle you! shes soooo understanding of your strength and your limits and will praise you SO MUCH for your strength and tenacity

when it comes to a nebulizer, while she may be sort of confused she is very supportive and will remind you (if needed) to take your medication!

"HEYYYY Y/N!!!" Mitsuri called out to you, running into the room and throwing her arms around you as she pressed kisses all over your face. Your nose wrinkled automatically from the affection, and she giggled. You coughed and she tensed, pulling away with a concerned look on her face. "Are you okay??" Her wide eyes stared into yours, and you nodded. "I'm fine, just... tired." Mitsuri's face brightened, pink lips quirking into a small grin. "Thats okay!! Come on y/n, we can go cuddle together in bed!!!!"

Sanemi

Sanemi is surprisingly considerate about your condition, and will fiercely defend you if anyone even dared say anything about you or your condition

I think he would bluntly ask questions at first, honestly he would be a little tad bit ignorant but only when he first met you

he would originally think you were weak but once sanemi began to know about your condition and all the stress and pain you had to go through just to live, he honestly began to admire you

sanemi would train you, just so you knew how to defend yourself but also because he wants you to know he doesnt think your weak

when your tired, he will pull you onto his lap and run his fingers through your hair while holding you tight and close to him. he'll never mention it and will pout and pretend to complain, but in reality he loves you so much and hates seeing you in pain.

sanemi would be hella confused about your nebulizer at first ngl- he would ask a lot of questions about it and about any medication you took, and would make a mental note to remind you about it

overall does EVERYTHING he can to take care of you and is honestly so worried about you- he just loves you so much

"What the fuck are you doing???!!" Sanemi gasped out as you crawled into his lap, wrapping your arms and legs around him and nuzzling into the crook of your neck. "I'm tired 'Nemi..." you mumbled, hands shaking slightly as you struggled to calm your breathing. Sanemi sighed, pretending to be exasperated but the speed of his flustered heart gave him away. He pulled away to press a kiss to your forehead before pulling you close again and wrapping himself around you. "Your lucky I love you..."

Gyomei

When you first tell him about your condition, he begins to cry a little

Gyomei finds it super endearing how tenacious and hardworking you are, doing your best to overcome your condition

hes an incredible listener, and whenever your feeling tired or upset hes always there to comfort you

when it comes to medicine and your nebulizer, he will want to learn how to help you in any way he can. definitely educates himself and i can see him asking you or shinobu any questions about conditions similar or the same as yours

while he can't physically see you, he knows how much your condition pains you and will pray for your comfort sometimes

gyomei is HUGE and really likes carrying you around when your tired!!! he'll gladly invite you into his arms whenever he senses your exhaustion, but is always very gentle with you in fear of hurting you because your so precious to him.

You took a steady breath with the help of your nebulizer, Gyomeis large hands gently rubbing your back as you inhaled your medication. "My sweet light..." he murmured softly, so softly you had to strain a bit to hear him. "I love you... i love you so much." You can't help but smile, and he smiles too, grateful he gets to bask in your warmth.

Giyuu

When you first explain it to him, don't expect a huge reaction

Giyuu pretends he doesn't care much, why should he?

Yet his heart seems to stop when you first explain your difficulty breathing and your need for a nebulizer

a wave of fear washes over him so much it's almost paralyzing, hes terrified of losing you

Giyuu would probably try to push you away but only at first, when he realized how upset it made you he began to open up to you more

hes always asking about your comfort, he lends you his clothes often to make sure your comfortable and will memorize when and how you take your medication

Giyuu learns all he can about your condition and your nebulizer, he wants you to know that you can rely on him

Giyuu is not great at expressing himself through words, however he cares about you very, very deeply.

You know he cares by the way his deep blue eyes study you whenever you cough, the way his hands steady you when you shake

He would gladly switch positions with you in a heartbeat if it meant you wouldn't have to feel the pain you struggle with

Every time you cough or wheeze he swears his heart skips a beat, and whenever your tired he always pulls you so close to him

Giyuu pulled you close to him, gently placing the nebulizer away so he didn't have to see it. Burying his head in your hair, embracing you as he tried to ignore the pain he felt at seeing you struggle to simply breath. He knew how exhausted you were, and he wanted nothing more than to take the pain away. "I love you so much, my dear... never leave me, please..."

this was honestly such an interesting ask to write, and i really enjoyed it! i apologize if any of them are OOC, i havent written for some of them before 😭😭😭 I HOPE YALL ENJOYED!!!!!! PLSSS SEND IN MORE REQS IM DYING FOR MORE DEMON SLAYER REQS!!!

(also take a guess who my bias is >:D)

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kobb4ni2 · 10 months

Text

･｡ﾟ☆ 𝐁𝐄𝐀𝐔𝐓𝐘 𝐒𝐎 𝐅𝐋𝐄𝐄𝐓𝐈𝐍𝐆

-> [ |Part One.| Part Two ]

✧ .* pairing ─ Yandere Boa Hancock.

✧ .* gender/pronouns ─ Female and She/Her

☆ .* note ─ YIPPIEEE I'm done with Boa hancock backstory and her relationship with Y/N for the Yandere Warlord series! I wanna make a build up first so I can make a connection and relationship with the charcters to Y/N bc being too rushed isn't my style tbh. Anyways I hope yall like this! Jinbie is next! BTW If your going going use the banner outside if Tumblr please credit me! Thank you and have fun reading!!

☆ .* TRIGGER WARNING ─ Celestial Dragons, Sl*v*ry, Implied SA, Kidnapping, Child Abuse and Spoilers for Boa's backstory

┈➤ Synopsis: Being a Warlord is a hefty job or title. Many fear you or look down on you. You may be looked down on as a Government Dog to other pirates but yet being feared and respected by your infamous reputation and the strength you had acquired.

There are many rules of being a Warlord that are implied to even normal pirates, one of them is to devote yourself to your captain or your goal when you're traveling in the seas.

It's just too dangerous to fall in love, especially on the high sea, yet that didn't stop your fellow Warlord from being intrigued by you. And are willing to do what it takes to take you, you were theirs in the first place eversince they laid their eyes on you.

As a mermaid, it was hard being on land especially when you were forcefully dragged by pirates who wanted to sell you for a high price. You remember the scream of your fellow species - the Fishman- fighting the pirates just for you to let go of yourself. You remember your crying for help and the screams of your relatives and your friends. It was truly a havoc in your hometown.

Your crying was canceled out of the tank they put you in when you were captured. You were thirteen that time when you were at your worst. And when you arrived at a human auction and when a white-suited, snobby-looking, human yelled his prize you knew that hell was going to begin. That man was a celestial dragon, one of the worst people that shouldn't ever exist in the first place.

You've heard their names no matter where you go. Those egotistical, vacuous assholes always cause fear, especially your kind, you heard stories and wished desperately that you'll never even meet them, yet the universe is truly cruel to you. And when you saw them bid for you and win was when your world collapsed...

There are no words to tell your experience being a slave to the celestial dragon. Being used in other ways, ways that you don't want to do, ways they violate you, they treat you like something to be replaced with and don't care about. But even in this hellhole, there was someone you connected with in the filthy cell they put you in. Her name was Boa Hancock she was twelve at that time and was the eldest of the three sisters. You don't know how you connected maybe it was the connection of the misery of being a slave or what but the four of you manage to have such friendship even in those years of torture

Boa was tired. Tired of being a slave. Tired of getting beaten, Tired of not being able to escape the neverending hopelessness. Tired of hearing her sisters scream for help every time they were near. It was another night of being a slave, every second felt like an hour whenever she was with the celestial dragons she couldn't take it any more, even if she was in the locked up jail she felt no peace yet... you came to her sight when you decided to help them.

Sandersonia was having a breakdown since she was last "needed" by one of the celestial dragons, Sandersonia was crying hysterically ever since, Boa and Marigold have been trying to calm her down, even though both were tired they will help and protect each other. Because the only person who could relate to each other. As minutes flew by, someone came and open the gate which caused the girls to be immediately quiet, they saw one of the guards throw in the young slave like one of the girls, if Boa was correct she was a new slave to the same master, but she was different, the slave in front of her was a mermaid an (F/C) tailed mermaid, she was covered in bruises and cuts, but she was also badly injured in her arm.

"This one is new, the master told us to put her in the same jail as you slaves because you guys are the master's favorite slaves."

And with that, the guard was off before locking the cell. The sisters looked at the injured mermaid, the sisters were too scared to move so they didn't do anything. The mermaid then started to move towards the nearest wall to lean in.

Boa heard a small sniffle and turned her head to see the (F/C) coloured mermaid was silently weeping. The mermaid then raised her head and noticed the three sisters. She then looked down and quickly wiped away the tears and did something unexpected she. . . smiled at the sisters and then waved at them even with there were dried tears on her face.

If Boa knew at that time what kind of impact you've had on her, she won't change it. No. No, she won't. She will rather relive that time when she first saw you even if she had to endure all the torture just to experience that moment again.

Sweet sugar candies. Was the now Empress of the Sea or another the current Empress of the Amazon Lily was holding. The gorgeous woman alive sat on her throne as she nibbled on some handful of sugar candies that were originally made for children. In normal circumstances Boa would never eat this kind of sweets, she has a mountain of piles of gifts given to her every day by her admirers but for some odd reason, Boa would send her sister Sandersonia or Marigold to import those specific kinds of sweets. She buys those sweets to be reminded of that fateful day. The day when you showed her that there's always hope even in the cruelest time of your life.

The empress then began to smile remembering you. Before the empress even begins trying to reminisce about you she suddenly stopped herself.

She wants to keep on remembering you but if she does she'll unlock bad memories of what happened.

She keeps you close to her heart even after these years because of how much she and her sister owe their life to you. You ways sacrifice yourself like how you always defend the sister, you may have tails but in her eyes, you always stand and protect her and even take her and her sister's place whenever the celestial dragons wanted some "fun" with them.

Your sacrificial attitude knows no bounds and you gave a prime example to her during that one fateful day.

That one fateful day when you sacrificed yourself for her and her sisters to leave the hell hole named "Mary Geoise" during the mass breakout.

The last time she saw you turning back and smiling at them while you immediately disappeared in front of their eyes as the fire swallowed you whole.

#warlord x reader #yandere warlord #yandere one piece #yandere one piece x reader #boa hancock #boa hancock x reader #yandere boa hancock #x reader #yandere #yandere x reader #one piece #one piece x reader #yandere op #i made the banner lolz!!

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sparklingself · 2 years

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𝐒𝐓𝐎𝐏 𝐓𝐑𝐘𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐒𝐎 𝐇𝐀𝐑𝐃

the outside world isn’t yours to control. of course, you are in control, but you are doing anything else but taking control, if you try to force it. let go of control. stop blaming yourself for the unpleasantries you encounter. yes, it’s all you, but blaming isn’t going to take you anywhere. you’re just inflicting more punishments on yourself. instead of asking “why is this happening to me?”, ask “why am i in a reality (state) where this is happening to me?” the difference between the two questions is 1. is victimising yourself, blaming yourself, putting yourself into a position of hopelessness and 2. , on the other hand, is putting yourself in the position of having the power to choose.

how enjoyable your life is - it is all entirely your doing. if you’re imagining and not enjoying, then what are you doing? stressing if you’ve actually done everything right isn’t productive. because you’re God. God doesn’t need a rulebook, he makes the rules.

Our God is in heaven; he does whatever pleases him. - Psalm 115:3

stop trying so hard to change the outside. just focus within, because that is where you can do anything you want.

And you may say, "But I want to experience them here in the world." That right there, is your problem. Focusing the attention on the outside. There is so much relief by understanding the outside, no matter what it is, it will fade away and reflect. - Edward Art

the thing is, if you’re imagining and then you’re looking for it in the outside, then you’re doing it wrong. imagine, because it’s enjoyable. because you can. you’ll receive it in the outer world anyway, you don’t have to worry about that. you’re not actually imagining to get the thing you want, you’re imagining because you want to experience the emotions. and guess what? you can experience them now. and they’re just as real and as justified as the ones that are triggered by the outside. stop the endless cycle of depending on the outside to control the inner.

think about your successes. why did they happen? it wasn’t because you affirmed enough, or you thought about it enough. it was most likely, because you let it be. you maybe forgot about it and then it appeared. you assumed, felt it and then let it be. so let it be and have confidence.

why is it so hard to just “let it be” sometimes? because you’re making the desire so big. but it’s not. it’s tiny compared to you. the desire of eating your favourite food today and being the richest person in the world is the same. they’re both tiny. make yourself the one who is grand and great, not the desire.

to end this post, a contemplative exercise by Edward Art:

Treat it like a experiment.

Lay down or sit in a chair and be comfortable.

I want you to tell yourself this, or word it they way you want to, "I am allowed to completely let go of the outside world. I do not need to focus on others or what is happening out there. I only need to focus what is happening in here. If I feel satisfied in here, then I am. I will identify myself with my inner self. I no longer have to control the outside to but my inner. My desires are so easily achievable within myself. It brings me much relief knowing I can let the outside go, and only focus on changing myself. "

Say it once of a few times. Really focus on the relief you feel from not having to control the outside.

From here, imagine feeling satisfied or accomplished. Then ask yourself, "What would it feel like if I was who I wanted to be?" Then feel it, enjoy that feeling and know that you are NOW it. You do not need any more confirmation. That is final.

After you feel all of that, come out of contemplation and simply be neutral or feel more confident in yourself.

Only look within from here on out. Do not care about the outside. It will conform, even if it seems like it won't, it will. You will be in positions that will confirm what you have done. You will be in a position that will trigger your memory of what you have done within.

#loa #loassumption #law of assumption #neville goddard #mental diet #self concept #living in the end #affirm and persist #law of attraction #manifestation #manifesting #law of abundance #law of manifestation #manifest #edward art #spirituality #void state #meditation

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moondustpugh · 3 months

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High Infidelity

Joseph Quinn x Fem!Reader

Summary: Did you really have to chart the constellations in his eyes? Did you really have to tell him how he brought you back to life?

Author's Note: I have no words honestly. My mind has been everywhere lately. Anyway, hope y'all like it! :)

Disclaimer: 18+, emotional abuse, mention of harming, infidelity

(Please, please don't read this if it triggers you. I need you all to think hard about it before reading this one. This is a bit of a dark fic).

Wordcount: 3.5K

part one - part two - part three - part four - epilogue

The salt air breeze touched your skin as you pulled your coat closer to your chest. The view of the ocean in front of you. Waves roared as it crashed against the gigantic rocks and then settled calmly at the shore. A bit of fog blanketed over the cliffside that you were standing on. You took a deep breath and took in the view in front of you, the wind flowing through your hair.

It has been a week since you and Eli had fought. One week since you had finally left that haunted flat and broken relationship that consumed every part of you. If you had stood on this cliffside one week ago, you probably had followed your fears and insecurities all the way down. Now, it felt like you were a different person.

You haven’t felt at ease in a long time.

You thought breaking it off with Eli was going to make you feel like you had regretted the decision. That maybe, you were overreacting but somehow, you felt the heavy weight off your shoulders. You felt as if you had this newly found freedom, and you didn’t know what to do with it after two years of feeling trapped in that prison of a relationship.

Joe had been there with you every step of the way. He had been there when Eli terrorized your dreams at night. He was there when you needed to let your emotions out because of everything that happened. Joe understood all of it. He never hesitated to take care of you. But the problem was that you also didn’t want to depend your world on him. You had spent two years depending yourself on a man and look where that landed you.

It wasn’t because you thought Joe was just like Eli because he was different.

He was much different.

But stepping out of your mentally abusive relationship and immediately being in another new relationship was all so overwhelming. The thought of Eli and all the shit you went through was still consuming your mind, and you were afraid that because of all your open wounds, you might end up hurting Joe. The one you care about the most.

You were still bleeding, and you didn’t want Joe to experience the same thing because of the sharp edges of your broken pieces. You didn’t know how you could start to puzzle up the pieces that Eli had left you with. What if along the way, you also end up hurting Joe? That was the last thing you wanted.

Strong arms wrapped around your waist, snapping you back into reality. Joe stood behind you, tucking your head under his chin. You felt him smile. Even when you couldn’t see it, you could feel it injecting right through your veins and restarted your heart back to life.

A small soft hum escaped from him as he said, “What’s on your mind, darling?”

His voice made your heart skip a beat.

“A lot of things.” You exhaled sharply, closing your eyes for a moment and leaned back against him.

Joe dropped a soft kiss on your hair before you turned yourself to face him. His wool coat was keeping him warm, and his curls were flowing through the wind. It made him even more beautiful.

Your arms wrapped around his waist as you stared into his eyes.

“What is it, darling?” Joe asked.

“I don’t want to hurt you.” You murmured.

Joe’s brows furrowed, a confused expression washed over his face. He could see the worry in your eyes. Joe had noticed how much you have been sort of distant from him all week. He never said anything because he knew you were going through a lot, and he wanted to give you your space. However, hearing those words escaped your lips, he couldn't help but wonder how long you have been having these thoughts.

To him, you were everything. Ever since you had walked into that studio and were introduced to him as part of his team, he knew that you were more than that. He knew that you were someone that he wanted to get to know more and when he did, he couldn’t help but fall for you. You never noticed it because you were always inside your mind. Those thoughts were always reeling everyday.

He only had realized as to why you were always within yourself until you had confessed to him about Eli that night at the park. Joe never knew the hell that you went through for two years. All he saw was this intelligent, hard working and beautiful woman in front of him until you had split yourself open to him, and he saw all the corners of you.

Somehow, he only fell harder.

He would do anything to make you happy. He would do anything to keep you safe and treat you better than Eli could ever would.

“You’re not, darling.” He replied, his eyes deep into yours.

“I mean…” You sighed, letting go from his arms.

For a moment, you turned to stare at the ocean in front of you. Waves breaking and crashing to the shore. Joe followed you as you both settled on the grass. There was a comfortable silence between the both of you for a minute.

“I have open wounds.” You murmured, looking down at your fingers on your lap. “I’m broken. What if… I end up hurting you? That’s not what I want.”

You felt Joe moved closer to you, taking you in his arms and his hands found yours. He held you close, his strong arms wrapped around your delicate body.

“I know you’re struggling a lot right now, darling.” Joe murmured. “But I know you could never hurt me.”

You exhaled a deep breath through your nose, your eyes fell on your lap as you said, “I’ve been enough of a burden to you. I need to put myself back together again. I don’t want to hurt you because sometimes, my emotions could be so strong.”

“Hey,” Joe set his index finger under your chin and lifted your head, so you could look at him.

His eyes were full of love and affection for you. You could see all of it through his eyes, and you wondered how could someone like Joe love someone so broken and wounded and weak.

How could he love you?

“You’re not broken. You’re so strong and resilient. I know you will get through this. I’m not gonna go anywhere. I’ll be here every step of the way.” Joe said, his eyes trying to find you inside your wet brown ones.

“Unless…” Joe added, his head tilting a little towards the side. “You need space? To have your own solitude?”

It wasn’t a secret that you had hidden yourself too much in your own world for a long time now. However, hearing that coming from Joe, suddenly you felt a knot forming in your stomach. It wasn’t Joe nor his words. It was the chemicals in your brain from the way Eli had talked to you for the last two years. It was almost like you couldn’t believe what Joe was saying to you. That he was so understanding about all of this.

When you couldn’t seem to answer his question, you felt Joe’s thumb caressing the back of your hand. Suddenly, you were brought back into reality. Suddenly, you felt yourself breathe again.

He was almost like oxygen that kept you alive.

“Hey, it’s okay.” Joe gave you a small reassuring smile. “I won’t be mad if you need your time. I understand that. I know how you feel about me, and I know that you don’t want to hurt me. So, whatever you need to do to find yourself again, I’ll understand.”

“It’s not just that…” You whispered.

You couldn’t say the words because you were too afraid.

Too afraid that it could be true. You haven’t heard from Eli all week, and you knew how his threats were. If something happened to him… If he did something to himself because of you, you wouldn’t be able to forgive yourself. You wouldn’t be able to face the fact that you had made someone lose their life because of one decision. The thought of it made your hands tremble in fear. You couldn’t even imagine how it would feel if you woke up one of these days and heard the news about Eli.

It would be your fault.

It would be all your fault.

“What is it, darling?” Joe asked, his fingers found your cheek as he caressed it softly.

“When… When I was with Eli.” You took a deep breath. “He told me that if I ever left him, he would… harm himself.”

It wasn’t even the correct word to describe the threats he had told you, but you couldn’t bring yourself to say it out loud.

Joe stared at you for a moment, eyes blinking and trying to find the right words to say. He felt his mind shut down for a minute. He knew the gaslighting and the manipulation that Eli had done to you, but he never would have imagined that he would say something like this. That he would threaten you like this in order for you to stay with him.

To choose him.

Without a choice.

Joe felt his heart pumping out of his chest. He felt it drumming in his ears as he tried his best to calm himself down and gave himself a reason as to why he shouldn’t get up right now and go and punch Eli for treating you like this. For trapping you and guilt tripping you in order for him to own you.

Like some kind of property.

“If something happens to him… I…” You began shaking your head as tears welled up in your eyes. “It will be my fault.”

“Hey, listen to me.” Joe cupped your face between his hands. “No, it’s not. The things he had said… The things that he had threatened you. Those are all the things he wanted you to hear, so you would feel as if you needed to stay. As if it would be your fault.”

Joe exhaled a sharp breath. You saw the anger in his eyes, his jaw locking together, and his muscles tensed not from the cold air but from the anger washing over him. He was soft and gentle with you, but you could see the emotions that were whirling inside of him. It was almost like a hurricane, and he was trying his best to keep it inside of him. To keep the collateral damage that could leave if he sets it free.

“He was manipulative. He wanted to make sure that you stayed without a choice.” Joe shook his head. “You deserve to live your life the way you want. You deserve to want the things that you want without anyone stopping you. You deserved to feel alive. You deserved to be free.”

Suddenly, the chemicals in your brain have been altered as you listened to Joe’s words. All you ever did was love Eli. You gave him everything and somehow, that was never enough for him. You let yourself vanish and disintegrate like ashes from a fire and yet, it was always never enough.

“You know your strength and your worth.” Joe’s face was inches from you now. “I know you’ll be able to pick yourself up, and I’ll be here next to you and help you.”

“What if…” You exhaled through your nose, your head hung low. “What if I become too much to handle? What if… he was right all along? That I’m weak. What if you see the real me and change your mind?”

“I love you then, I love you now, and I will always love you.” Joe said sternly. “That’s never going to change.”

Pulling your body against his, a soft kiss was placed on your hair. Your back leaned against his chest as Joe wrapped his strong arms around you.

“Fly free, darling.” Joe whispered. “And if you let me, I’ll fly right with you.”

Looking over your shoulder, a small smile tugged on your lips as you leaned and kissed Joe softly on the lips. In here, you felt safe in his arms. In here, you wanted the time to freeze and just be in this moment with him. Your mind had stopped working. Your body was melting into his as you turned yourself in his arms and gently pushed him on the grass, towering over him.

You earned a soft approving hum from him as his nose gently grazed against your cheek, breathing you in. Joe was so soft, and the heat from his body was radiating between the two of you that made your whole body set on fire. When his lips had found your lips again, your brain was now on fire. You could feel every emotion he has for you in your bones. The way how much he wanted to be with you. How much he would do anything for you.

You could feel all of it.

He treated you like you were never broken and that you were strong. He never saw you as someone so vulnerable or helpless. He could see that you could do anything, and you didn’t need anyone else to pick yourself back up. Not even him. He knew your worth.

His kiss was soft and loving. When his lips found the line of your jaw and down your neck, he tried to memorize every inch of you like you both have all the time in the world. You couldn’t help but gasp softly, feeling his cold fingers slid under your sweater and gently touched your heated skin. His fingers softly ran on your sides and then up your back, pulling you close against him.

“I love you.” Joe’s voice was gentle and silky as he pulled away from the kiss.

Your eyes studied him for a moment. You couldn’t find the words to reply back because it was those three little words, and they meant so much. Joe, however, just smiled and caressed your cheek with his fingers. You could see how he was patient and understanding as he let out a soft chuckle when you buried your face on his neck. You planted a soft kiss right there, making you smile through his soft skin.

“I could never get tired of you.” You felt Joe’s chest rise before exhaling a sharp breath and gazed down at you.

Joe felt you smile as you closed your eyes and your lashes tickled the soft skin on his neck. For a while, you both just laid there on the grass. Gray clouds and fog blanketed over the two of you, while the waves crashing echoed your surroundings.

It was peaceful.

It was something you needed. Something you wished you could stay at forever. Just in Joe’s safe warm arms and in this cliffside with an ocean view. It almost felt like you were in heaven.

The person that greeted you and Joe the next morning when you both went back to the city was someone you didn’t expect at all. Exiting out of the car, Joe immediately walked towards Eli, who was sitting on the front porch of Joe’s house.

“What are you doing here?” Joe asked, his voice was stern.

You followed right behind him, your hands found Joe’s forearm as you tried to hold him back. You never saw Joe like this, and you could see the anger in his eyes as Eli got up from the steps and stared at him then back to you.

“I… I just want to talk to her.” Eli said, his voice trembled.

From the last two years you have known Eli, you have never seen him like this either. You noticed the dark circles under his eyes, and he looked exhausted. He looked like he hadn't slept in days nor had eaten anything. You could tell how his face looked different. His eyes were deep and cheekbones were more prominent.

“You stay the hell away from her before we call the police.” Joe warned, taking a step forward towards him.

Your hand never left Joe’s arm as you tried to pull him back. His eyes were glaring at Eli, and you could see Joe’s hands turning into a fist.

“Hey,” You set a hand on his back that seemed to help him unclenched all his tensed muscles. “It’s okay. Let me talk to him.”

Joe turned his attention towards you with a worried look on his face as soon as he heard the words come out of your lips.

“It’s okay.” You whispered, reassuring him as you squeezed his hand lightly.

Giving Eli one more death glare, Joe slipped his touch from yours and made his way inside the house. Crossing your arms on your chest, you stood tall in front of Eli, trying to show him that you weren’t the weak girl that he had made you for the last two years.

“What is it?” You asked after a few minutes of silence.

“Is this really over?” Eli’s eyes were already starting to well up.

If your mind wasn’t thinking about all the shit he put you through, you would feel bad for him. Although at this point, you didn’t know if you could trust every word that he said because he was always manipulating you. Eli crying in front of you used to be one of his tactics for you to feel guilty and feel bad for him.

Well, that wasn’t going to work on you anymore.

“H…How long have you been seeing him?” Eli asked. “You cheated on me?”

“Yes.” You immediately answered him. “I’m not proud of it, but I did.”

Eli nodded his head and walked past you, but he paused in his tracks and turned around to face you. You saw the unshed tears in his eyes.

“Can I ask you one thing?” Eli said.

You stood by the front porch and waited for him to continue.

“What was it? What did I do wrong?”

You exhaled a sharp breath. You couldn’t believe that he was asking you this after everything you told him that night. You couldn’t believe how dense he could be. How he couldn’t even recognize his actions and all the shit he put you through. At the end, he still believed what he did in your relationship was okay. That it was all fine, and he was innocent.

That it was you who chose to leave him for no reason.

It was you who cheated and was the bad guy.

You had your own mistakes and cheating on him wasn’t one of your proudest moments, and you admitted it. But Eli? He couldn’t admit one thing he did to you.

“How could you not recognize your own actions, Eli?” You shook your head, brows furrowing. “You trapped me for two years. Controlled everything I did. You wouldn’t let me wear makeup, you wouldn’t let me wear a dress unless it went over my knee. I couldn’t see my friends nor text them because you always wanted my attention. You gaslit me until I became so weak and just followed all the orders you told me.”

Eli was shaking his head now. “That’s not true.”

“Yes, it is!” You exclaimed. “How could you be so blind? How could you not admit that you were choking me every day. How could you not realize that I was dying everyday, trapped in the prison that you have built for me?”

Eli was quiet.

He couldn’t say anything.

“It’s over.” You stated sternly. “Please don’t bother me again.”

You watched as Eli nodded his head, “You’ll always be my girl.”

Those words sent shivers down your spine. It made you cringe as you watched him walk away and entered his car, driving away from the house. You felt a tear rolled down your cheek as you heard the front door open and felt Joe’s hand on your forearm.

“Come here.” He whispered, turning you to face him and pulled you into his embrace.

You quietly sobbed on Joe’s shoulder, wrapping your arms around his waist. You didn’t realize even after everything you had gone through, your heart could still feel like it was being ripped out of your chest. You did care for Eli for the last two years, and you didn’t want to hurt him but you also couldn’t keep hurting yourself. You couldn’t keep breaking yourself for someone who never loved you. His love meant something else to him, and you couldn’t let yourself be the victim of that anymore.

Pulling you inside the house, Joe held you tightly in his arms until you had calmed down.

One day, you would be okay.

One day, you would be able to pick yourself back up again.

But until then, you were at least free from the prison that you were trapped in for the last two years.

Taglist:

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#Joseph Quinn #Joe Quinn #Joseph Quinn x Reader #Joe Quinn x Reader #Joseph Quinn x You #Joe Quinn x You #Joseph Quinn x Fem!Reader #Joe Quinn x Fem!Reader #Joseph Quinn rpf #Joe Quinn rpf #Joseph Quinn Fanfics #Joe Quinn Fanfics #high infidelity #moondustpugh #part four

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roaenexists · 3 months

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PICK A PAIRING : LOWER SELF EDITION

From left to right we have: Inner Child, Animal Intuition, and Shadow Self.

For some of you all of these readings may resonate. Take the messages that you feel apply to you, but be very honest with yourself in regards to what you choose to discard.

Pairing One: Inner Child

You remember when you were a kid and you made things just for the sake of making them? Do that again. I get the feeling you either have been in a dry spell of fresh ideas, or you've recently had the muse hit but you haven't put pen to paper. You've had on-and-off blockages caused by your personal experiences, but right now you need to be trying to Make Things whether you currently feel inspired or not, especially because if you haven't then the practice will probably trigger an idea or otherwise yield good results (even if you don't think so). But no matter what, right now your inner child is begging to be allowed to be creative. Make things and hang them on the fridge. You deserve the space to be creative, to craft, without judgement.

Pairing Two: Animal Intuition

You have been playing around lately, having more fun than you probably should, and overall not taking care of your physical body or surroundings. Your animal instincts, your literal body parts, are telling you to eat a vegetable, drink water, take a good long shower, clean your room, and get a good night's sleep. Not necessarily in that order. But you need to stop ignoring the subtle voices that alert you to your physical needs, give them attention. Your instincts are telling you to do the hard work for yourself but you've been too tapped into whatever else you've got going on to listen. No more excuses now, though, that it's been shoved in your face. Go brush your teeth. Make your bed. Be responsible for yourself.

Pairing Three: Shadow Self

Shit, baby. You done fucked up something beautiful by freaking out, undermining everything, and then walking away. It doesn't look like you can roll this one back, either. And what's worse is this is a pattern of behavior from you. A huge part of the problem is the way you are never in tune with what you REALLY want, and it's causing you to self-destruct over and over again. Your shadows and your highest self are currently incompatible and your shadow has the answer . Why are you lying to yourself, and about what? Maybe you've been acting like money will fix everything but your ideal life actually involves more free time? Do you really want a relationship, or does your bad side hate being seen, even by you? Figure out where your actions and your desires aren't aligning and either change the desire or change the action. Be fucking honest. Stop hiding your ugly bits and admit what you want.

#roaenpost #tarot #tarot cards #tarotblr #divination #witchblr #tarot readings #tarot reading #pick a pair #pick a pile #pick a card #pick a pairing #roaen reads

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mommyownsmee · 4 months

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hii, do you have any tips for aftercare on dom/mes? like dealing with dom drops etc. i want to take care of them too but i'm not really sure how.

(i love how you explain bdsm, it's so clear and you really care for the community 🥹)

Thank you so much for your message, it‘s incredibly nice of you to think of your Dom/me this way and wanting to practice aftercare for them too.

[I‘ll be calling the/my Submissive S/O in this text because of personal reasons. I‘m writing in a perspective that shows me in a D/S dynamic! I won‘t openly confess to any relationship status here on Tumblr for my own and any other persons personal safety.]

At first I need to explain everything about Dom/me/ Top Drop and what‘s it caused by - so everyone of you understands why a Dom/me needs aftercare too.

If some of you aren‘t interested in this please scroll to the bottom, as that’s where I give examples for aftercare on Dom/mes.

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Of course every Dominant experiences Dom/me/ Top Drop differently and this is just an example for one kind of Dom/me/ Top Drop and one specific kind of trigger. Every Dom/me experiences their Dom/me/ Top Drop differently and for every single one there are different triggers.

Here is how a Dom/me/ Top Drop feels for me:

I get it only shortly after a scene and only if I had an orgasm [where I got touched/penetrated/etc. In fact the orgasm itself is my trigger and that‘s why I often prefer just not to come, which is totally fine for me. It‘s enough for me just to see my S/O in pleasure. It gives me everything I need as a Domme and there is nothing that I miss. I can come from my mind only/ no physical interaction on me or others and this kind of orgasm doesn‘t trigger my Domme/Top Drop at all]:

The scene is over. I’m looking at my S/O, or listening to her breathe on the phone. We’re just there together and everything seems fine. Then, in just an instance, I get this insane amount of longing. I start feeling extremely guilty, especially if my S/O has any marks or bruises or just because of the fact that I just lost control for a second while I had an orgasm. I know it sounds like I‘m a control freak, but in fact it‘s only because I‘m autistic and I like routine. Having an orgasm which got triggered by physical interaction on me is extremely exhausting for my mind and it often happens that I just pass out after them for a minute because those orgasms are extremely intense for me and my body - and this is what really scares me.

So within a few seconds I‘m mentally going through „I need to be held close“ - „Why did I hurt the person I love more than anything else?“ - „Am I enough?“ - „What did just happen? I can‘t remember the last few minutes [only after my orgasm]“ - „Is she okay? I need to check up on her asap“ - „Am I still a good Domme?“ - „My S/O deserves better“ and finally it just ends with „I miss her so much it physically hurts“ and „I just wish she was here/ could come up to me and hold me close and tell me that I‘m enough and everything is fine and we are still we and nothing has changed and that you still love me as much as I love you“.

For me a Dom/me/ Top Drop feels like a gush of depression right in my face. I‘m starting to cry, shake and curl myself up. It‘s awful. I’m starting to rethink my role or effectiveness as her Domme. I maybe notice that I've overthought something during our time together. And above all, I just miss her. Since my S/O and me don‘t live close to each other it‘s hard for me to compensate all of those feelings mostly alone. It‘s a lot better the times she‘s here, but my Dom/me/ Top Drop still happens. I'm aware that it's the amazing chemicals that my body produced while having her with me slowly start to dissipate after our scene and it‘s hard for me to overcome this.

I think the hardest is to filter away the guilt and shame of what we like to do in a scene, and the guilt of what I might have done to my S/O during it. Self acceptance and allowing that to take time is the key. Communication, no matter the distance, is absolutely essential. The biggest thing is to stay honest with myself and my S/O about it. Check-ins are necessary for our dynamic.

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In my opinion Dom/me/ Top Drop and Sub Drop are fundamentally different. A Sub Drop is tied to an actual chemical change in the body, endorphins, dopamine, levels changing over the course of moments. I feel like a Dom/me/ Top drop is more mental. The body produces adrenaline and other drugs during a session, and when we are coming down from them, it is like falling into a deep hole sometimes. We feel a remorse, regret, a disappointment for something not going as planned. I think a Dom/me/ Top Drop is similar to fucking up something important at work or in our personal life. When we put our heart and focus into something that we think is important and it doesn't go well we feel responsible and the pain that comes with failure. As Dom/me we are very vulnerable in these moments, and often have problems showing this. Where a Sub might need chocolate and snuggles, a Dom/me needs reassurance and physical touch from their Sub and told that they're human, that mistakes will happen and we learn from them and improve.

In my opinion Top Drops are happening the same way as Sub Drops and aftercare is a must. It's so important for the relationship, or growth can't happen if these things don't work. A Dom/me might need as much reassurance/ love after a scene as a Submissive does - so please always talk about these things before the D/S dynamic starts.

Just don't be too hard on yourself no matter if you’re the Submissive or the Dominant and keep learning.

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[for both Dom/me and Submissive]

Affirmations of affection

Reassurance

Talk and communication about the scene in detail (emotions, what to change, what was good, what was bad)

Cuddling

Touches and closeness in silence

Slowly 'come back' to the present

Helping each other clean up

Sharing a shower/ bath after

Watching movies

Jokes and being silly together

Food, fluids

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