#and everyone knows where the highest point of the city is
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[X] had a dream about my city being flooded
This would almost make me a true Dutchie except that I now wrote a post about it which automatically makes me as non-Dutch as possible
(it was a fun dream too, we just sat on a roof in a group of friends and neighbours and played DnD, waiting for the water to go away)
#dutch kids pass exams for swimming and swimming in shoes and clothes at school#and everyone knows where the highest point of the city is#and flood sirens are tested monthly here#which won't amount to much because some parts of the country are 6m under the sea level#so if the dams fail we are massively screwed#it's impolite to talk about it#and the dams won't fail of course#the only town that is really getting flooded sometimes is limburg#which is above sea level by a lot#has a mountain trail#and just gets too much water from the alps thawing in spring
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King of the Streets
Pairing: street racer!Jaehyun x journalist!reader
Genre: street racing au, action, drama, romance, slow burn, smut
Word Count: 28k (I just can't write short stories, I'm sorry)
Summary: The moment you find yourself hiding in the backseat of a sports car that's illegally racing through the city, you just know this story will finally catapult you to the top of your journalism career. But there are a few things you haven't reckoned: How personal this story will eventually turn - and the driver's sheer insatiable craving for lollipops. And for you.
A/N: I started this after Jaehyun admitted he would have liked to become an F1 racer if the idol-path wouldn't have worked out for him. I spiraled and this is the outcome - I hope you have fun reading it as much as I had writing it!
“It’s been three years since I’ve started working here, and-”
“Unfortunately, this doesn’t matter, miss.”
For an entire week, you had prepared yourself for this meeting with your editor-in-chief. You had written down all your achievements from when you were an intern to your current position.
And he had the nerve to tell you it all didn’t matter?
It had been three very long years with too many nights spent in the office to meet a deadline you were not responsible for, trips all across the country on your own account for stories that hadn’t even made it into the magazine, and work meetings where no one had bothered listening to your ideas and input.
After all the hard work and sleepless hours you had poured into your dedicated passion, it was unfathomable to you how he didn’t even bother bringing up the slightest interest in what you had to say, and it showed all over face in the form of widened eyes and slightly parted lips.
“Others have started prior to you and they’re in the exact same position,” your chief editor said, swaying in his chair. The city’s skyline spread behind him like a painting as the sun was setting, and more than once had you already imagined yourself in that spot. “What makes you think you’re better than any of them?”
An imaginary note popped up in your head. You got this, you were prepared for this. “I’m one of the firsts to go and one of the last to leave, I wrote the most clicked article on our website - to this day. I offer input to everyone who hasn’t got something going on, my personal and professional network that I’ve built throughout the past years is wide and strong. I’m the first one to take on suggested topics, the number of articles I publish per month is the highest out of all editors, I’m always up-to-date, I live for this job.”
The middle-aged man leaned forward and propped his elbows against the glass table, inspecting you thoroughly while you were bracing yourself to elaborate every bullet point. But he only said,
“No, I don’t think so.”
You were flabbergasted. “Pardon me?”
“I don’t think you actually live for this job,” he explained calmly. “For that, it takes more than research and cranking out as many articles as possible just because your writing is good. It is, trust me, but the stories lack emotion and graspable actions. Right now, you’re only sitting in front of the computer, writing from your imagination. You don’t live the stories, you’re not in them.”
“I take trips across the country to attend events, I participate in every press conference possible, I-”
Again, he interrupted you, “Hara got in contact with a designer and walked for his show as an amateur model. Dal went to the rooftop of the highest building in this city and took pictures that even made it into television.”
“But that is illegal,” you commented. “Hara smuggled herself in when one of the models fell sick and Dal nearly got caught by the police.”
“And we would’ve bailed for all of them.” He sighed deeply as if annoyed by repeating himself. “See, this is what I’m trying to say, miss. The writing that you’re delivering is clean and conformable to law. When I read your articles, I’m well informed, but nothing sticks in my head. We’re a magazine, not a newspaper. Nobody wants to read about the opening of a new restaurant when they can read about things they will never be able to experience themselves. You have to dive in the story, be in the story to make people believe they’re in them too when they read it.”
You were quite taken aback as you noticed he remained polite when all he wanted to say was, “So, my stories are too boring, not sensational.”
The editor-in-chief let out another long sigh and fell back into his chair. “You have a trademark, but you have to get out of your secure shell to actually go somewhere, otherwise you’re going to get stuck.”
You were a goody two-shoes was what he tried to tell you. You were on the top when it was about writing, grammar and quantity, but your stories didn’t attract anyone’s interest, and if that wasn’t the case, then you could write as many perfect articles as you wanted - you would never get a higher position.
You inhaled deeply. “So, what do you suggest I’d do?”
His answer was clear, “Look for a story that will change lives. Write a story that will leave people breathless, and you’re getting the position of a senior editor. Because miss, you’re one of the most capable journalists here, but you don’t only need to be capable, you need to be a storyteller. If you can do this, propose the topic to me next week. If it’s what I expected, it will make headlines in the next issue and secure your new position.”
If only it were so easy.
____
You were sitting in the fast food restaurant with your notebook opened in front of you. Every single page was blank even though you had been there for several hours already, the ballpen in your hand having barely moved ever since.
“Do you want to order something else?”
“I’m good, thank you.”
You could only imagine the eyeroll the waitress let out when she turned away from you after not getting another order for two hours. But you were already short of cash this month and wouldn’t get paid for another week.
Another reason why you needed the senior position: as a regular editor, you could barely get by. Why were journalists underpaid anyway when they were the source of daily news and this connected the world? You had never understood.
Many ideas had flown into your head, from working a day in a job that was notorious to interviewing an infamous inmate, but none of these were exciting or extraordinary enough like it was expected of you. The topics that you came up with didn’t immediately peak interest when you researched about what your fellow editors had ever written about. And what you found left you nearly speechless and doubting yourself.
Yes, you had always been tame, reserved, a goody two-shoes. That was why your mind was also not expanding to the way it was expected of reporters. Perhaps, you were not made for this job as you could also not quite learn how to do it right.
Should you perhaps change to newspapers after all? But the open positions were always so rare and you had wanted to start at your current magazine because it was the most famous in the country…
“Where are you going after this?”
“I’m going to watch the race, Falcon against Antelope!”
“They’re set for tonight? I didn’t know!”
“Pscht, not so loud!”
Since you already lost focus and let other people’s voices into your mind, you could also pack your things and go home. You were already so done for the day.
“Can I come with you? It’s been so long since the last time I went.”
“Sure. They’ll start at midnight, so we have to hurry.”
You zipped up your handbag and threw a few bills on the table, already with one arm up the sleeve of your jacket when you perked up your ears.
“Falcon will make a comeback, so tonight there will be a lot of cash flowing!”
“Wow!”
You cleared up your throat and walked up to the two young women on the nearby table whose conversation you had been partially involuntarily listening to for the last minute. Despite your attention only shifting to them much later, you got the gist of the entire story.
It was about illegal street racing, you had read an article about it a few months ago in which the alias Falcon had also been mentioned along with another animal that you had forgotten.
The Falcon was only stuck in your mind, because there had been an accident caused by him, and ever since then, the police were paying even more attention to these kinds of illegal activities. The fact that there would be a race tonight must be a well hidden secret.
“Excuse me, I overheard you’re also going to watch the race?” you feigned knowledge and quickly made up a story that would get them to talk. “Can you tell me where exactly they’ll start? I was going to meet my friend here who’s got all the info, but she’s not arrived yet and I’m afraid I’m gonna be late.”
They looked at you in wonder, then in amazement. One of them, apparently the better informed one, then nodded eagerly before describing the exact spot to you. “I guess it’s going to be quite full since it’s the first one with Falcon since the… incident. So everyone wants to see him. They’ll start at the industrial park at midnight.”
You nodded. “Thank you. Maybe we’ll see each other there.” You waited a bit until they had left the restaurant and then pondered whether to join or not.
There had already been many articles written about the Falcon and street racing in common, but since the most controversial racer would make a comeback, this race would be a special one, perhaps even kept secret to a point where no other media outlet knew about it. There was a slim chance that you were going to be the only reporter, so regardless of your current struggles, you had to take this opportunity.
Yes, an article about the Falcon’s comeback was good, but that was by far not enough for the story of your lifetime. It was better than nothing though, a beginning. And who knew what could come out of it.
As a journalist, you had learned that you were better off going and had something expected to write about rather than not going and missing on unexpected happenings.
So you headed to the industrial park.
____
When you arrived at the destination, you spotted a crowd that had formed in a wide, clear space between two buildings. There were about fifty spectators that had gathered, divided into different groups of various sizes, lights coming from the street lamps all around the place.
Through the gaps between the cliques that all seemed too engaged with each other to notice how lost you were, you discovered a group of men that marked themselves off everyone else.
It wasn’t particularly the way they were dressed as they all wore black leather, but rather the presence they radiated. But you couldn’t deny the fact that all of them were equally overly handsome, just in a way you wouldn’t be drawn to. You weren’t intimidated, you were scared to the bones, and you immediately wanted to turn on your heels and run right back home.
You weren’t much informed about the topic of illegal street racing aside from the few articles you had read. You only knew that it was one of the most dangerous underground activities that had cost a few lives already, of drivers and passerbyers almost equally. It was macabre that articles like these gained the most attention, clicks and sales.
Although you weren’t quite passionate about this kind of topic let alone approved of it, it was the best that you could come up with for now. You wanted to prove to your editor-in-chief that you were willing to take risks, willing to leave your comfort zone for the job - even if this wasn’t going to be the final story.
But now that you were right in the middle of this happening, you were getting cold feet. This wasn’t right. If you were caught as a spectator, would the police detain you too? And would your boss truly bail you out?
“Place your bet!”
You flinched when a young man popped up right next to you with a tablet in his hand, looking at you with expectant eyes.
“Pardon?”
“Place your bet!” he repeated. “Falcon against Antelope.”
“Oh, I only came to watch,” you waved aside. “But thank you!”
“You’re here for the first time, am I right?” The guy’s eyes narrowed. “Place. Your. Bet. This is how we’re financing this all. No money, no races.”
This wasn’t a question anymore, this was a demand, and you figured that if you were going to remain undercover, you had to play along and pretend to be like everyone else, even though you didn’t know the rules to this game. The guy was scanning you from head to toe, and it took you everything to restrain yourself from shaking when you took the tablet into your hands.
You had changed your mind entirely by now. You just wanted to be out of here as fast as possible, no matter what the editor-in-chief might say about this lost opportunity. It just wasn’t worth all this stress and fear. After all, you were quite attached to your life and a clear criminal report. It wasn’t that bad to be a goody two-shoes.
Still, you had to place a bet before you could vanish so that the guy would stop bothering you, so you scanned the display laying in your palms.
There were two columns, one belonged to the Falcon, the other to the Antelope. Each column was divided into different cells with the name and the amount of money one betted. No one had placed a single bet on the Falcon.
What was there to lose when the money would be gone from you one way or another since you were going to leave right after this anyway? You wouldn’t win a single penny.
So you placed a fake name and 70.000 Won for the Falcon, which was ironically the lowest bid for the Antelope. You noticed that most of the other people had betted much more, making you wonder about the total amount the winner could collect. But 70.000 Won was already very much for you, so you stuck with that.
“The Falcon, huh?” The guy grinned. “Risky, but I like the way you think. We only accept cash. Today it’s 20 million won so far for the winner, and ten percent of it gets split between the right betters depending on their bets. Maybe you’re lucky tonight and win ten percent of the entire amount yourself.”
You were holding yourself back letting out an audible gasp as it truly sounded tempting, and instead reached into your bag and pulled out your purse. 70.000 Won was a small price for your life, and you couldn’t wait to finally leave and never turn back. How high were the chances the Falcon was going to win anyway when nobody believed he would?
The guy grinned when he collected your money. “Interesting. It’s going to be an interesting race today. Good luck!”
He then went on to bother someone else all while you checked your surroundings for a hidden, but secure exit. Since you had used a fake name and only one person had seen your real face up close, it would be easy getting away unnoticed.
And you did.
Sliding along the buildings with your back pressed into the outer walls, nobody paid attention to you since the race was about to begin and a turmoil broke out shortly after your bet. You had been weighing yourself in safety, currently hiding in a blind, dark spot in the entrance of a different building with the street to freedom in sight when you suddenly heard male voices speaking up.
“Ready, Jaehyun?”
“More than you are.”
You froze on the spot when you saw several tall figures coming in your direction, their bodies illuminated by the street lamps, and you recognized the intimidating men dressed all in black leather who had been right in the middle of the crowd shortly before.
You couldn’t go back or forth, because either side was illuminated and would set the spotlight right on you, and flight forward would mean running directly into their arms. You could only push the door to the building behind you open and…
You found yourself standing in some kind of huge factory hall where only two cars were parked, the rest was entirely empty. Who in their right mind would rent a whole factory building for only two cars? Yes, they were expensive sports cars from what you could tell, the kind of ones that would catch everyone’s attention on the streets because of how luxurious and tuned they were… but an entire hall?
You were still processing and connecting all of this new information when the same door through which you had entered got pushed open again, and in walked all men that you had run from shortly before.
Your heart suddenly lept, and you feared that this was what a heart attack might feel like, yet you were very much still alive as you were able to desperately look for a spot to hide again while they hadn’t discovered your presence yet, but lingered by the entrance with the focus on two of them talking.
Out of reflex, as one of them turned into your direction, you fell to your knees and hid behind one of the cars - the matte black one -, suppressing a gasp the moment this exact car unlocked with a sound and flash from afar.
“I’m not afraid of you. I pity you.”
You needed a new spot to remain hidden with footsteps approaching this vehicle. Right now.
“And why would that be, Jaehyun?”
You had to think of something safe, but there was barely time anymore.
“Because you’re going to lose the race today.”
No way in hell.
There was no way in hell these were the racing cars! But of course, now everything made sense as to why those cars were being kept here, you just had been in too much of a panic to have connected the dots.
How you found yourself inside that matte, black car at this moment of realization, you couldn’t tell. Just like you couldn’t tell how you could have hoped to get out of this situation unnoticed all while hiding in a crouching position in the backseat with the only way to escape being visibly passing by these men.
If only you had stayed behind the car or under the car if you were to be discovered anyway, you could have somehow talked yourself out of this situation. But how were you going to explain you had actually sneaked into a racing vehicle? Out of all the dumb things you had ever done, this made it to the top of your list.
You flinched and threw yourself down into the small legroom between the driver’s seat and backseat, when you heard the door in front of you open and a figure seated himself behind the steering wheel.
No way this was your situation now!
Everything was better than ending up inside one of these cars, hearing it start and rolling out of the hall.
This… this situation couldn’t be real.
If you just stayed crouched in the legroom, not giving away a single tone or making a single move, maybe you still had a chance to survive this ride unnoticed. How you would handle this situation when you returned and had to reveal yourself if you didn’t want to be locked inside that car until you died of thirst… that was something you didn’t want to think about yet.
After a few feet, the car came to a stop in the clearing among the spectators, and you made yourself even smaller in case someone might want to get a look inside. By the way the crowd cheered and rejoiced, you hoped that the racer was the Antelope for god knows which reason. They were both racers with the intention to win by all means.
The noise got louder, went from muffled to clear, and you realized the driver had pulled down the window.
“Everything ready?” A male voice.
“I’m ready,” was the driver’s dry answer, a deep voice with a calming, soft undertone.
The engine was raving up, and you were tucked between the passenger’s seat and the backseat in a hole that was too tight, but because of that it was also the safest spot for the ride as there was no room to move anyway. Turning your head against the window at the opposite of you, you only saw light that flooded in and nothing else.
Dear god, you found yourself praying for the first time in your life, please let me live.
“Jaehyun, do you hear me?”
You flinched when you heard another voice.
“Clear and loud.”
“Only ten seconds left.”
“Okay.”
Was he communicating through a two-way radio with someone? You hadn’t expected this race to be so well-planned and coordinated. Was it always like this? This was an interesting and not widely known point. You only hoped your memory would keep all this information saved as you for sure wouldn’t be able to take out your notebook and write everything down now.
This was the journalist inside you taking the upper hand again. If you were already in this situation, you were going to write the hell out of it. This was a once in a lifetime opportunity you would never get again, the exact situation your editor-in-chief had talked about.
This was going to be your headline story. You only hoped what he had promised was true and your company would really bail you out if it came down to this. Or pay for hospital bills. There was no way you would be able to leave unscathed, physically and emotionally.
“Three!” the crowd yelled that you could also hear in the car as though you were standing among them.
“Two!” Your fingers gripped onto leather and something metallic, you couldn’t really tell.
“One!” You closed your eyes.
“GO!”
How equally unlucky and lucky you were to be at the wrong place at the wrong time. Or right place at the right time, it depended.
____
You were absolutely not safe in your hiding spot as expected. You got tossed and flung into every direction possible, and if it weren’t for the narrow space in which you had tucked yourself in, you believed that you would have been hurled into the seat right next to the driver already.
But you were gripping hard onto the cushions like your life depended on it just to prevent this from happening as the car sped through the streets and took every curve with such a sharp edge, you were amazed the vehicle didn’t drive on one side only by then. In your location, you weren’t quite able to catch the car’s speed, but only guessed by the street lights flashing by in less than a single second, which was, in your non-existent experience, quite much.
While the driver was talking to the person at the other end of the radio who was giving him directions and tips, navigating him away from police controls and crowded locations, you started to feel a bit braver with no more sharp curve having come in miles anymore. Most likely, you were on the highway now.
So you slowly arose and got on your knees. Curiosity eventually had gotten the better of you, and you wondered what the world outside looked like. In the end, no matter how you would come out of this, you had to make sure it must have been all worth it.
You had to come to the conclusion that if you moved a bit higher to look out of the window, he might spot your head from his position if he looked in the rear window. With a muted curse, you crouched back down, but instantly got hit by another idea. Dragging the phone out of your handbag was quite an act when you barely couldn’t move, but once you had managed to do so, you inwardly hyped yourself up.
You turned on the camera and pressed the record button, then imperceptibly motioned the phone over your head and let the upper part peek out of your lair with the camera facing out of the window. If he would look, then he would barely see anything, probably mistake the black edge of your phone for a shadow or a part of the car’s interior.
When suddenly a ringing tone broke through the silence inside the car though, you nearly let your device fall with a gasp. You thought you had the ringtone silenced for the entire day already, how was it possible?!
“Hello,” the driver suddenly greeted, and only then it took a load off your mind. It wasn’t your phone that had rung.
“Jaehyun, when will you come home?” The female voice sounded playful, childish. A kid? Perhaps a teenager even?
“Why are you still awake?” The driver named Jaehyun chided with feigned sternness, of whom you still didn’t know what he looked like and whether he was the Falcon or the Antelope. “It’s past midnight and you have school tomorrow.”
“I was waiting for you to come home.”
“But I won’t be home for another hour. It’s going to be late tonight.” The driver sighed, and he sounded very regretful. “I’m sorry.”
“Jaehyun, are you currently racing?”
Silence followed, and suddenly, you felt like you were going to overhear something no one else was supposed to eavesdrop. Like an intruder - which you technically and obviously were since this was obviously a conversation between two family members.
The driver repeated, “I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay, I won’t tell mom. I’ll tell her you’re studying in the library again.”
A yawn followed on the other side, and suddenly, you heard the driver snicker. Somehow, it didn’t fit his attitude that you had gotten a glimpse at earlier. Even his responses to the person at the other side of the radio had always been short and curt. But to this young person, he was entirely different.
“I will wait for you. Mom said I shouldn’t, but I cannot sleep if I don’t know you’re home.”
“I’ll come home safe.”
“Promise?”
“Promise, sis. I will always come home safe.”
Your arm that was holding the phone quietly slipped back into your lap, and you stayed silent for a very long time after they had hung up. This was so wrong. You had signed up for an adventure, not to listen to an intimate conversation between siblings that somehow also warmed your heart.
If you had learned anything from it, then it was that the driver was indeed a kind person deep within. It didn’t matter what he did, for what he did it and who he was in the end, Antelope or Falcon. They were people with stories, and if you were the journalist you claimed to be, you needed to look at both sides of the coin and bring out everyone’s own perception.
Wasn’t this what your editor-in-chief wanted? A headline that didn’t go “Illegal street racer makes a comeback! We are the first ones to interview him” but rather “He risked it all for his little sister, and now he’s back - read here about the tragic backstory of one of Seoul’s most dangerous men!” or something along these lines.
After you had gathered yourself again, you looked at your phone while the roads started to turn bumpier now. You assumed you had reached the outskirts and were hopefully on the way back to where it had all started. Gosh, you prayed for that, even though you hadn’t come up with a plan to explain your situation at all yet.
The video on your phone showed you exactly what you had expected to see: nothing but a blur of whites and black. Great. It was useless. But what had you even expected?
“We have a problem.”
You perked up your ears as you heard the other familiar voice through the radio.
“What is it?” the driver grumbled. “Not long and we’ll…” He paused, and even with the missing eye contact, you sensed how the mood had suddenly shifted. “I haven’t seen him in a while…”
“Exactly. There is an undercover police car underway, the informants have just told us, and it’ll stop right where you have to pass through. The Antelope apparently knew about this and already took another route.”
Antelope?! You knew you didn’t want to judge, but out of all possibilities which was 50/50, of course you would have ended up in the Falcon’s aka Jaehyun’s car, the very same person you had mindlessly betted on. What were the odds?
The Falcon snorted. “Now, will you tell me he didn’t set this up himself?”
“No accusations now. Let’s think about what’s best to do. We’re currently in Gangdong-Gu, you somehow have to leave the highway.”
“There is no possibility,” he growled back. “It’s a suburb, there is no way I can pass through it on time and unnoticed for me to win the race.”
“I’ll navigate you the best I can.”
“Don’t be ridiculous. The streets are so short and narrow, it will take too long and is too complicated.”
“You can’t get caught by the police, Jaehyun. And they’re almost right in front of you. It’s better to-”
“Don’t!” he cut the person on the other end off. “I won’t give up. Not this time again. I need this win and money, you know that. It’s my comeback and reputation that I have to restore.”
“But what your family needs is you, more than money or your reputation.”
Silence. Your front teeth sank deep into your bottom lip as you were quarreling with yourself in silence. You knew what was right and what was wrong, what was legal and what was illegal, and what you were currently doing with the driver was far from being within the law as a matter of fact.
But his little sister wanted him to come home so that she could go to sleep…
“HEY!” you screamed and suddenly appeared from behind his driver’s seat.
“WHAT THE FUCK?!”
The car swerved to the left, hurling you out of your lair and right into the edge of the backseat with a dull pain that shot from your stomach right into every limb. You gasped for air.
“WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU AND HOW DID YOU GET IN HERE?” Despite you still not being able to face him, you got a glimpse of his face when you looked at it through the rear window. Clear anger and also shock was written all over it. You couldn’t blame him. “ANSWER TO ME NOW!”
“Don’t… have time,” you breathed and rubbed your back, getting on your knees and slowly rising from your position. “Gangdong-Gu… that’s where I grew up. I know this place inside out. I’ll navigate you.”
“Jaehyun, who is that with you in your car? That’s a rule violation!”
“I don’t fucking know who this is!” he yelled again, but not as loud as before, and before he could react to your actions, you had already crawled over the expensive interior and settled yourself in the passenger’s seat. “Who are you?!”
With a click, you fastened the seatbelt and looked out of the window. You knew exactly where you were now. “Take the second exit from here. We will pass by within the next two minutes. You will have to drive through a part of the neighborhood to change highways, but you’ll be fine at this hour. Once you have changed motorways, you’ll even reach the destination quicker. Is that a rule violation too? Taking a shortcut through the suburbs?”
You tilted your head and met his flabbergasted expression as he was staring at you with equal intensity where also curiosity was mirrored. “Uhm… usually we avoid that to not accidentally hurt any passerbyers. But…”
“It’s not a violation of the rules,” the person on the radio jumped in quickly. “It’s just unethical and something we would not like to risk.”
“Okay, thanks radio-guy.”
“Welcome, uhm… intruder-lady?”
“I did not intrude!”
“Well, how the fuck would you call this?” the Falcon interrupted.
“I don’t have time to explain now.” Your arm shot up and you pointed at a sign. “Take this exit! Right now!”
From the corner of your eyes, you clearly saw him struggling whether to trust you or not. Fair enough. You were a stranger that had hidden in his car and were now only popping up when it was about winning or losing. If anything, you could have been smuggled in by the Antelope’s team as well. No wonder he was doubting whether he could trust you.
“Screw it.”
You got thrown to the left when he suddenly swerved and left the highway according to your instruction. With your right hand, you grabbed the handle under the window for stability, once again questioning all your life choices. But you had thought long and clear about this. Having decided on helping him would result in the best outcome for your situation.
“Three rules,” he suddenly said when he drove into the neighborhood.
You shook off all your fears, speaking confidently, “I’m listening.”
“First. No word to anyone about what’s happening and what you’re doing right now. Nobody can know you’re in here.”
Why did he sound so intimidating? “Got it.”
“Second, you will lead me through this neighborhood without any incidents. Slow, steady and clear, you’ll be the navigator, the guy at the other side helps you from afar. One wrong turn, one accident or even the danger of one, and one late instruction, and I’ll kick you out of the car right there and then.”
No pressure, no pressure at all, you thought ironically to yourself. “Got it.”
“And third,” a voice on the radio chirped, “Don’t forget to have fun!”
“Shut up, Taeyong.”
“Third,” the Falcon repeated, “when we’re back at the venue, you’ll stay hidden inside here until someone comes and gets you.”
What would happen after, you didn’t dare to ask. Surely, they wouldn’t get rid of you… right? Either way, your fate had been sealed the moment you decided to come watch the race, so you gulped silently and gave a final nod.
The car came to a halt in front of a very familiar street. Everything was dark, empty and quiet. You took a deep breather and the Falcon’s head snapped in your direction. When you faced each other the next moment, you took a spare second to study his face.
If he weren’t in a racing car, you could imagine him very well sitting in a café, sipping coffee and typing something into his laptop, maybe even wearing glasses and ordinary street clothes, possibly even joggers.
He was just a normal dude under all these leather clothes that made him appear very tough, emphasized by this constant scowl on his face that was - admittedly - very handsome. After years in your field of expertise, you could read people very well and only seldomly were you wrong.
“Ready?” he asked, not breaking eye contact.
Neither did you. “Ready.”
The adrenaline flushed through your veins the moment he hit the gas pedal.
____
“Didn’t you sleep much last night?” your co-worker asked when you yawned for the nth time that morning.
What were you supposed to answer?
“I only got home at 4am last night, because I was street racing?”
So instead, you said, “I just couldn’t fall asleep, don’t worry.”
Nobody would believe you. And yet, these were the stories that everyone sought after. But only one ride was not resourceful enough and didn't contain enough substance for a decent plot. You needed the people behind it, the backgrounds and the experiences.
But after you had gotten out of the car, these people have made it very clear to you that you shouldn’t appear in a race ever again, not even as a spectator, and that your lips needed to be sealed for eternity. The fact that they had let you go without any consequences was only out of mercy because you had contributed to the victory - with a violation of rules though.
You had learned pretty quickly though that most of the time, they ignored these rules as long as nobody got hurt as physical incidents that included innocents were the highest breach of violation - just like the Antelope who had apparently cheated like the Falcon had assumed. But since nobody got proof, there hadn’t been more consequences than a few verbal attacks. As long as nobody had seen you inside the car and could prove it somehow, you were fine.
The only person that had thanked and had been nice to you was the Falcon’s navigator, Taeyong. He had even looked very sorry for what you had been through when he had opened the door to the car and you stepped out of the hideout between the backseat and passenger’s seat with shaking legs.
The Falcon hadn’t even looked at you twice when you walked out of the building - with all the money. Yes, surprisingly, they had still given you ten percent of the prize money. It was all rightfully yours since you had been the only one betting on the Falcon. Your bet had been officially registered and you had won, so it was fair and according to the rules that you would get what you earned, Taeyong had explained.
Deep down, you sensed that he only didn’t want to admit they wouldn’t have won without you, and this was them paying off their debt. After all, you hadn’t given out your real name, so they could have just said the betting person vanished. But you didn’t push the topic and saw it as hush money that you luckily needed anyway, and accepted it. Racers had a very high sense of ethics, you had learned by now. A thank you from the Falcon wouldn’t have hurt though. But instead, he had said you should never appear in front of his eyes ever again. What a rude man.
“Okay,” your co-worker said, “shall we go through the index for the next issue and compare the page numbers? Two pairs of eyes work better than just one.”
“Sure! Let me get the notes about what the editor-in-chief said. There were some important points he mentioned that had changed…”
You reached into your handbag to look for your notebook when at that moment, the telephone on your desk rang and showed the lobby’s shortcut number.
“There is someone waiting here for you, miss.”
“Alright, I’ll come downstairs.”
You wondered whether you had actually missed a meeting or an interview that you had set up for a story, but nothing actually came into your mind when you took the elevator and rode downstairs to the lobby.
At the front desk, you asked the lady where your visitor was waiting since you hadn’t spotted a familiar face as you passed by the waiting area. When she pointed at a figure sitting on the couch, slumped on the cushion, you needed to blink twice to match the face with your memories.
“You?!” you then called out when you stood in front of the young man.
He wore a snapback, glasses, joggers and a loose long sleeve. Between his lips, he carried a white stick, and you already wanted to call him out that smoking was not allowed in here when you realized that the stick was too thin to be a cigarette. It turned out to actually be a lollipop. When your gaze fell to his feet, you were able to count every single naked toe as he wore slippers. You were right. He normally didn’t look like this nighttime-self at all. During the daytime, he was just a normal guy who appeared to have just gotten out of bed.
When the Falcon arose from his seat, he didn’t even greet you. Instead, he took the lollipop out of his mouth, round and red, and just thrusted a notebook into your hands. Your notebook - the one you had wanted to fetch from your handbag earlier and which you needed for the meeting with your editor-in-chief later. You had been so sure that it was in your handbag this entire time!
“This was still in the backseat of my car. Take better care of your belongings. And don’t put your business cards everywhere. It’s not everyone’s business where you work or what your contact information is.” He then shrugged, made the lollipop disappear between his lips again and turned aside to walk past you, but you held him back by his arm.
“Wait!”
Slowly, he shifted his head back to you and asked lazily, but clearly despite the sweet in his mouth, “What is it now?”
He shook your grip off, but you just bluntly asked the question that had been on your mind this entire morning, “Let me ride with you one more time, please?”
He drew his brows together as if you had just asked the dumbest thing a woman your age could ask a man. And apparently, judging by his answer, you had done exactly that.
“Are you nuts?”
“You see, I’m a journa-”
“You people really think you’re superior,” he scowled, and you were taken aback. “Making money off of people’s personal stories, aren’t you guys embarrassed? I shouldn’t have returned your notebook at all. You’re all just selfish bastards.”
With a lowly look at you, the Falcon put more distance between you two, and although you were frozen on the spot and dumbfounded at first, you didn’t want to let him leave like this. Clearly, he had a prejudice about you journalists that you had to resolve.
“I’m not one of those journalists that make money off other people!” you told him when you had caught up with him, but by then you were already outside on the streets. “I tell real, verified stories, and only what people allow me to write! Only the truth!” He didn’t reply, but just continued walking, and you decided to follow him. “I’ve never lied or done anything without consent to write my stories. And that is what my editor-in-chief is always criticizing since this apparently holds me back from getting a promotion. In his eyes, I’m a goody two-shoes who doesn’t take any risks. But the truth is… I can’t do that, I’m fine that way! I want to tell the stories with people, I don’t want to tell stories against people! And I think you guys’ story is one very worth telling!”
Suddenly, he stopped in his tracks and you nearly ran into him from behind. One a few inches separated you from each other when he turned around to you and dropped his head to lock gazes with you. “I don’t think what happened yesterday with you breaking into my car was something a goody two-shoes would actually do, but a ruthless journalist.”
You let out a desperate cry. “I told you over and over again, I just wanted to watch the race, then changed my mind and wanted to go home when you guys appeared, and then I panicked! That wasn’t planned, and regarding how close I was to dying, I would choose to not do that again. Which is why I’m asking you formally for permission.”
The Falcon remained silent and inwardly, you raised your hopes up. If you could tell a great story in cooperation with him under an alias and his other friends, that would definitely secure your promotion.
“No.”
Then, he continued his way.
“But why?” You quickly caught up to him again. “I wouldn’t tell you guys’ real names and only write what you want to have written.”
“I don’t have a story to tell except that we like racing.”
“But there must already be a story to that, right?” you tried again, keeping up with his steps this time. “Why did you start? How did you start? How did you learn all this, how do you feel when you’re in the car, how does this whole teamwork function, do your other friends and family know and what do they think about it… I have so many questions!”
“No word about my family,” he interrupted you, the candy now in his hand to speak more insistently, and it didn’t sound like a warning at this point, it sounded more like a threat. “Whatever you heard in the car, you better forget about it.”
A soft spot - you had already discovered that. It was none of your business if he didn’t want to let you in as a stranger, but you also couldn’t stop wondering. “I already got that memo yesterday. But-”
Again, he cut you off. “Great. And if I still catch you publishing an article on what happened yesterday or what you eavesdropped… well, I know where you work and live thanks to your negligence. Goodbye.”
He put the lollipop back into his mouth and disappeared in the crowd. You were tired of chasing after him again, and truth to be told, you could understand his point. Taking a deep breath in, you settled with the fact that you had to change your topic, the promotion gone from your sight again.
Of course you could have written the article without any additional info or the reveal that you were in the car yourself, but then it would only be that, an article. But you wanted a story.
_____
You were scrolling through the internet, looking for new jobs.
You figured that if you were to stick with your old position, you could as well try your luck somewhere else. Perhaps, there were open positions on the same level as your missed promotion for which you could prove that you were qualified or that didn’t require you to do illegal and unethical things.
There were only two days left until you had to hand in your proposal for the story that would cover the next issue, and you still hadn’t come up with something else.
By now, you could also pack your things and leave the city since living in the countryside didn’t sound so bad after all. Sitting by the window all day, watching nature? A dream. But you had chosen to return and to stay in the capital on purpose, a quiet, secluded life didn’t suit your current ideals. You were a writer after all, always seeking for new stories to tell, and you believed Seoul told endless ones.
The ringing doorbell had you spin around on your chair. Your room was small, but it offered enough space for all necessities that only one person needed, which was why you rarely had visitors. And as far as you remembered, you hadn’t invited anyone over.
“Who is there?” you asked carefully as you approached the door.
“It’s me.”
You furrowed. “Who?”
“Me.” Pause. “Jaehyun.”
The Falcon. Lollipop-dude. What could he possibly want after your last argument?
You opened the door, and there he stood in front of you, hair slicked back and donned all in black leather - a stark contrast to a few days ago, safe from the lollipop spinning in his mouth.
He peeked through the halfway opened door. “It’s tiny in here.”
You snapped, “Well, nobody asked you to come.”
“Can I come in anyway? We need to talk.”
“I didn’t write anything!”
He rolled his eyes as you opened the door. “I know, that’s not why I came here.”
You closed the entrance door behind you and watched him standing in your room, a bit too big for your furniture, and also a bit lost in this environment. You struggled biting down a snicker, because this picture was just so surreal.
“What is it?” he grumbled.
You folded your arms in front of your chest and shrugged. “Nothing. So tell me, what do you want from me that even made you come to my home?”
The Falcon turned around to your desk and stretched out his arm, taking something into his hand that must be your notebook he had returned to you. Holding it up, he showed it to you with his back still facing you and asked, “You still want to write this story of yours?”
Perplexed, you could only nod, but as you realized he couldn’t witness your confirmation, you quickly agreed vocally, “Yes! Yes, of course!”
“Three rules,” he then started before slowly shifting back into your sight, the lollipop still in his mouth, and you noted that everything for him came with terms and conditions. How exhausting, three rules again. “You won’t use anyone’s real names. You will only write what I allow you to write. You won’t mention my family or my background. I am allowed to read the entire thing before you publish it.”
“Those are four rules tho,” you remarked, and his eyes narrowed.
The lollipop stopped spinning in his mouth. “I’m outta here.”
“I agree, I agree!” you corrected yourself. “I agree with all the rules!”
“Fine.” He handed you over your notebook. “Now get dressed, we’re going racing. I hope you have black clothes and a leather jacket, because this…” He pointed at your light pink pajamas in which you had changed into as soon as you came home, “is not it.”
Your eyes widened. “Now?”
“Now,” he repeated.
You hesitated.
“Your last chance,” he pushed.
“I’ll get changed.”
____
“I thought I was going to be in the car.”
“Didn’t Jaehyun tell you?” Taeyong asked with a cocked brow.
“Tell me what?”
“That guy…” He touched his forehead and pointed at the seat next to him, urging you to sit down in front of the three monitors standing on the desk. “We need you to navigate.”
“Navigate what?”
“What did you two talk about on your ride here?”
You heaved up your shoulders and let them down again. “Actually nothing.”
The ride in the Falcon’s car to this suburb had been quiet with him focusing on driving and you concentrating on what you could make this story revolve around. No, you had barely talked and had each lived in their own mind.
“You’re going to navigate the race. Basically be his co-driver, but from here, not from inside the car like last time,” Taeyong explained thoughtfully with a smile. “Basically, you’ll do my job, I’ll only be your co-navigator and the team’s manager fully again.”
“Navigator? Eh? I thought I was only going to stay here, writing. Maybe even get the chance to be inside the car again, but since it’s against the official rules, I didn’t even think of that.”
“Wait, he really didn’t tell you anything?” You were both equally confused.
“So I’m not just… observing?”
“Absolutely not.” Taeyong determinedly shook his head. “To be part of the team means to contribute something, and for you to write this story about us, you will also have to do your part. Actually, no outsider is allowed to be with the team during the race, because the risk of cheating and manipulation is too high, so this was the only option. Jaehyun has already fallen out of grace, we cannot allow something negative to be associated with him again when his reputation is just getting repaired.”
You wanted to know why the Falcon had fallen out of grace in the first place, but you came to the conclusion that it was not your time to ask just yet.
“And why me then? Aren’t you guys enough?” You tried to conceal your rising panic. “I can just sit here and write if I’m not allowed inside the car. Maybe do some cleaning of the vehicle before you start or do some promotion work. Something I can actually do. Nobody will notice I don’t have a fixed role in the team. Besides, I don’t even know how to navigate.”
Taeyong tilted his head, his smile growing wider. “But you’ve done an exceptionally good job last time. It doesn’t matter who navigates, the person just has to be good.”
You felt your cheeks getting warm by this compliment. “I barely did anything…”
“And yet, it was enough for him to win after such a long time and have people start betting on him again. He really needs the money, so you better help him win as many races as possible in return for getting a good story.”
Why did it sound like a threat despite his sweet smile?
You sighed. “What do I have to do?”
“Take this.”
Taeyong handed you a headset and instructed you to wear it which would connect your voice to the radio in Jaehyun’s car. Through the first monitor, you had the dashcam’s point of view, which gave you the feeling of being directly in the passenger’s seat, that was not bad. The second monitor showed the car’s location in the city with all streets and buildings through a GPS while the third showed another map but with different red dots spread across the screen.
“Those are police stations and control points.” Taeyong let the tip of his index finger glide over the screen. “... of the ones we know. Spotting cars following Jaehyun as well as unplanned control points popping up will be another challenge. And these devices are police scanners. As you can guess from the name alone…”
At first, you had been excited, but as you got everything explained and shown, it dawned on you how close the driver and the navigator actually had to work, and that the driver had to trust the navigator literally with his life. You didn’t feel very comfortable with that much responsibility weighing on your shoulders. What if something went wrong and he got caught by the police? Would you land in jail then too?
“Today, it’s going to be a cannonball run with two others, meaning Jaehyun will start here, but finish at the other side of the city where most of the spectators are waiting. That’s why there is barely anyone here right now. Of course they want to see the winner. As opposed to last time’s run, this is about time rather than bringing as much distance between the cars as possible. And you know how much the sum is that you can win?” Taeyong’s sweet smile got replaced by a wicked grin. “40 million won.”
“I can’t do this, I’m sorry!”
You jumped out of your seat and ran towards the door, opening it up. The starting point was somewhere in the suburbs where you had never been before, but you didn’t care as you pulled out your phone once you inhaled fresh air that filled your heated lungs, ready to call a taxi.
“Hey, what do you think you’re doing?”
A huge figure blocked your way, and it only took you one look to first smell his lollipop, then recognize him. Damn, did he ever finish that sweet or did he have an entire stash in his pockets?
“I’m going home!”
“And why would you do that?”
“Because you lied to me! I can’t do this!”
Instead of talking you out of it, the Falcon raised his brows, then laughed, revealing his teeth between the red lollipop. “I knew it. Once a chickenshit, always a chickenshit.”
“A what?!” Your mouth stood agape, wondering whether you had heard right. “How can you say that?”
“I’m only speaking the truth. The first time, you also wanted to escape had it not been for us coming in your direction and forcing you to get into the car, right?”
You faltered. “Hm… okay, yes… but…”
He tilted his head and shrugged. “You dream about big stories, but this is what they will always stay for you: a dream. And you know why?” The Falcon leaned in, and you felt the sudden urge to withdraw, but you were completely petrified. “Because you don’t have the courage and the will to actually make your dreams come true. You're a big talker, a dreamer to put it nicely, but you’re not a doer, someone who gets shit done. I, in comparison, get shit done. And this is why I'm doing what I’m doing and you’re only watching from the sidelines, not being able to type down this story of yours like the goody two-shoes you are. Ever thought about the fact that you won’t get this promotion because you don’t deserve it?”
You weren’t aware that you had been holding your breath the entire time. Only when he approached you further and whispered in your ear, “Now go home, we don’t need someone like you here, we can do it without you”, you were able to exhale again, blood irregularly pumping through your veins while you clenched your fists.
With a fierce gaze thrown at him, you spun around on your heel, opened the door to the hall and yelled, “Taeyong, give me the headset and tell me what to do. For this round, I feel more comfortable with you next to me.” You threw one last look behind you at Jaehyun before you continued, “And next time, I’ll do it all myself.”
The door fell shut behind you, but you could have sworn that you saw the Falcon smiling.
This time though, genuinely. And perhaps partly relieved.
____
You were still shaking when you found yourself sitting in the Falcon’s car again, heading home in the middle of the night after your first race as a co-navigator. The other team members had brought you to the finish line in their car with them to celebrate, but there was not much reason for you to do so as of now. The shock was still sitting deeply with you.
“Everything okay?” the Falcon asked, but it still sounded like coming from another planet as your ears were ringing. “What are you even upset about? We won.”
“What I’m upset about?” you called out. “There could have been so many instances that could have gone totally wrong!”
“But nothing went wrong. Why are you always such a scaredy cat?” You didn’t look at him but straight out of the window. His eye roll was very visible in front of you though. “Just calm down, it’s irritating me.”
“I know everything ended well, but just imagine if a police car had suddenly pulled up. Or if someone had crossed the streets. Inside the car, it was exciting, but as an official navigator, you have so much responsibility…”
“Just enjoy the victory and the amount of money we’re going to share with you. Isn’t that what you wanted?” He murmured something about goody two-shoes again, but by now you were good at ignoring that. “Geez, did you ever have one single day in your life that you could freely enjoy without having a stick so far up your ass? Your poor boyfriend.”
It was the most nonchalant way in which you had ever witnessed the Falcon talk, even though he had mostly said nonsense.
“I don’t have a boyfriend.”
“Yeah, I wonder why.”
You gasped. “Excu-”
The next moment, you tasted something sweet on your tongue. “Close your mouth and suck.”
Instinctively, you did as you had been told as you didn’t know how else to react. The Falcon kept driving the car through the city with his eyes fixated on the road in front of him as though he hadn’t just pulled the lollipop out of his mouth and nearly shoved it straight down your throat.
“Sugar helps me calm down and the motions I need to make distract me from unwanted thoughts,” he admitted, and his voice suddenly sounded so vulnerable that you didn’t dare to respond. “I think you need that now too.”
You slumped back into your seat, suddenly very quiet. You tried not to think much about the fact that his saliva was now in your mouth too, and that you didn’t feel repulsed at the thought at all. He had been right after all. Your hands were not shaking anymore.
“The fact that I participate in those races is because I need the money,” he continued and you somehow sensed that he was currently glad that you weren’t able to look him straight in the face in case you caught his true emotions mirrored there. “And I wanted you to be my navigator, because you had done a very good job the first time around. During the races, you appear to be panicked and disheveled, but you are actually calm and collected, always knowing what you’re doing and never doubting yourself. From the first moment on, I saw much potential in you, and I needed someone like that to strengthen my team.”
“... to win the races,” you finished what he probably thought to himself in silence.
“Exactly.”
“So to you, it’s all about winning?” Your mouth tasted sweet with each syllable, and only now you recognized which flavor that was: cherry. “You wanted me in your team, because you assumed I could contribute to your series of wins?”
“That’s my only life goal. Winning as many games as possible for the money.”
You didn’t know why his answer bothered you. Weren’t you also only on board because you needed to write about this experience to ensure you climb the ladder of success which would eventually also result in money and fame? You weren’t much different from each other. He probably was only a bit more reckless in money making than you.
“I understand,” you agreed when it eventually clicked. He was trying to fool you again, so you corrected yourself, “No, I don’t understand. The way you spoke to your sister… it’s not only about money for you.”
The Falcon scoffed. “Why do you feel the need to peg me as some kind of deep character? Because I don’t fit the narrative of your story?”
This stung. Most likely because he was right. People wanted to read about deep characters, if not about a hero, then about an antagonist who told them how he had become an antagonist. But nobody wanted to read about a greedy, selfish person.
“So the main character of my story is only after money,” you concluded dryly.
“Yes, this is something you can mention in your story. The person you write about is a selfish jerk who only thinks about money.” He let out a laugh, but it rather sounded rather bitter than genuine. “I know it’s not that very deep of a story, but never told you that what you would get was interesting.”
The lollipop clicked against your teeth as you replied, “No worries. I’m a professional.”
He wanted to make himself fit his very own narrative, and you needed him to fit your own narrative. Right now, there was no character to your story.
At home, despite the ungodly hour and your clash of interests, you typed down a summary of your story and handed it in the very next day, even before the deadline. This would be your story, one way or another. You were going to make the best out of it, with the Falcon’s cooperation or without.
____
“He is very popular,” you remarked.
“Oh, he sure is.” Taeyong thrusted a drink into your hand. “He just doesn’t like this attention at all.”
You watched the Falcon getting approached by both men and women who were desperate to talk to him while you watched with your new team from the sidelines. After another race together that the Falcon had won, Taeyong had invited you to something like an after party in some other team member’s big house. You had to work the next morning and didn’t want to stay long, but you supposed you had to do it for the experience and more substance for your article. The more you had to write about, the better.
“Can you imagine that only a few months ago, it was entirely different? Everybody hated him.”
“Hm?” You snapped your head to Taeyong. “Because of the accident he was involved in?”
The look in his eyes was impenetrable, but it softened when he watched his friend. “Yes, but the details to that… I’m sure he’ll tell you himself when he feels the time is right.”
Admittedly, you knew quite a bit already by just going around and talking to people, you were just keeping it a secret since you didn’t want to come off to the team as too nosy or pushy. But none of the spectators you had come to have a short conversation with knew exactly what kind of accident that had been. You had tried really hard to gather all the information, but they just differed too much from each other.
When one assumed the Falcon had hit someone with his car and drove away, the second guessed he had run into someone, but brought them to the hospital. And the third option, and that was the worst, those people believed he had killed someone in that accident. The newspapers that had reported on this case hadn’t mentioned anything more. Just the fact that the Falcon had caused an accident in a suburb that involved an innocent passerby. And that was still enough to fall out of grace in this community, that was how high their ethical standards were.
You wondered why, with such an incident happening that involved all kinds of trope that would make people drawn to it, there hadn’t been any follow-up reports by newspapers and magazines.
Taeyong had once let slip that Jaehyun had only been able to make a comeback after this incident because he had challenged the Cheetah. Apparently, nobody ever did that. And now you were even more curious about the Cheetah, the Falcon’s biggest opponent.
From what you had heard, officially and unofficially, he won all the races and was nearly untouchable. He only challenged someone just to show off how remarkable he was, but nobody ever challenged him. That was an unspoken rule - except for when you wanted to set yourself up for humiliation. And the Falcon had done exactly that.
You looked at your team which was already top notch with a driver who was nearly impeccable. You couldn’t imagine a team that was better. Apart from the one you worked the closest with, Taeyong, there was Johnny, the mechanic, and the one which they call the investigator, though you just believed that he was a hacker in reality - Yuta.
You had seen and worked with them before all the time, but getting to know them privately in peace made you realize one thing: These were all just normal guys who knew each other from university with a not so legal side hustle. They were splitting the winner’s entire sum equally among all of them, and even if they didn’t want that much as the Falcon was the one driving and inheriting the most dangerous part, the latter always insisted on it, claiming they weren’t a work environment, but friends.
The fact that you were now a part of this close knit group, made you feel a bit awkward as you didn’t know them that well yet, but the other fact that they had welcomed you with open arms, safe from the Falcon so far though, and already saw you as one of them, warmed your heart.
Even though the money had sounded very tempting as well and you surely always got your fair share of the work that paid more than a few bills, you were surprised how little it meant to you in the end. You couldn’t really pinpoint it. The races with the team… the preparation, the process, the talks in between, the shared laughter, the banter… you enjoyed this way much more than holding the money in your hands by the next day. It meant so less when everything else hoarded a much bigger feeling that was still so unfamiliar to you, but very overwhelming.
“Ah, there he is,” Johnny whispered to you and pointed at a tall guy, surrounded by other young men and a woman. “The Cheetah and his team.”
“That’s the Cheetah?” you asked. “The one he’s challenged?”
“The best racer out there and someone Jaehyun could never beat, someone no one usually challenges and beats.” There it was. Now, you didn’t need to feign lack of knowledge anymore. “Hopefully, until now. It’s about a lot of money and the people are already anticipating it. It’s gonna be the race of the year. Maybe, Jaehyun will take his crown.”
You hadn’t known it was going to be this big and anticipated. Now, you also understood why people had welcomed the Falcon back despite whatever everyone imagined the accident to have involved. The best and most popular racer against the underdog who had fallen deep, wanting to rise again? That surely made a headline.
“The woman in that team, is she also a navigator?”
“Yes.” Taeyong nodded. “Women are mostly navigators, there rarely are female racers. As of today, I only know of two who are still active. But it’s really hard to recruit women for your team, no matter which position.”
“Because the job is illegal and hard?”
He nodded again. “Women usually don’t want to be involved in illegal activities.”
“... I can relate.”
All eyes now landed on you and you shrugged. “I just really need this promotion, you know that, guys. Just once in life, I want to be fortunate and successful.”
You were glad you could be totally open with them and not get judged, because you all were here for the same reason. This illegal sport benefitted all of you in some way.
“Just like I need money to finance my studies,” Taeyong said.
And Yuta added, “I really want to found my own company in the future.”
“And one day, I really want to move back to the US,” Johnny finished.
You were only people with dreams and ambitions. If you did things like these with all the precautions and didn’t hurt anyone, no matter how selfish or selfless, then was it really wrong to chase after your longings? You still gave the Falcon the benefit of doubt over the incident. Your team was fair and good, you wanted to believe so hard in every single one of them.
Knowing his friends and what they did for each other, you now were a hundred percent sure that there was a deep reason the Falcon always put his life on line too, and that he wasn’t as reckless and as money-hungry as he had first made himself out to be. None of them were.
Taeyong studied to help out his family, because his father couldn’t work anymore. Yuta wanted to open up a company, because his family got robbed of theirs. Johnny wanted to go back to the US to take care of his mom.
“I first thought it all boiled down to money, that glued you together,” you thought out loud. “But I was so wrong.”
It was way more than about money. It was about friendship, family and dreams. Of some things, you had only ever heard of and never experienced yourself - and most likely never would. And as this thought settled, you realized that you were the one doing all this solely for fame. You were the selfish, money-fixated person in this group. You were the one wrong here.
“It all comes down to trust in the end,” Johnny complemented. “Without a tight-knit team that doesn’t trust each other, you cannot make it.”
“But why me?” You frowned. “I didn’t do anything to earn your trust. I’m just here, because you caught me.”
“Oh, but you did win our trust!” Taeyong then objected and Johnny and Yuta nodded along. “With the way you helped Jaehyun when you were stuck in his car, that was the first race he had won after a long while and which has restored his reputation. You didn’t help him because of the money, I heard the entire thing.”
They trusted you? Why was your chest grabbed by a feeling so overwhelming like it was going to explode at any moment? Perhaps, at this point, you could imagine being friends with them too eventually… if they wanted to still have someone as selfish as you around.
“I didn’t want to see him lose,” you reluctantly answered. “At that moment, I didn’t think about a story. I just cared for his sister… and for him.”
Because you never had had the experience of being in a real family, you wanted to protect everyone that still had one. You remembered the phone call the Falcon had made, that he had promised to always come back to her. Basically, you still knew nothing about him, but what you knew was that he was way more than he made himself out to be.
You didn’t need to invent a story about him to fit your narrative. He had fitted it all along. You saw it clearly now.
“Okay, enough with the long faces, guys!”
Johnny threw his arms around all of you and huddled you all together.
“You’re suffocating me,” Yuta complained, though the playfulness clearly stood out in his voice.
“People are looking,” Taeyong worried, but you couldn’t help but to chuckle.
“So what?” Johnny let you all go again and shrugged. “How about a round of drinks for us? I think we all need it now.”
“I’ll get the drinks.”
You all shifted your head in unison and saw the Falcon having moved to your group, no sign of other people anymore, although you could have sworn he was swarmed by them only a few minutes ago.
“What about your fans?” you wanted to know from him and joked, “They all got an autograph already?”
His reply was dry with a gaze just as similar, “I told them to leave me alone.”
“Jeez, Jaehyun,” Taeyong complained, “with a behavior like this, no one is going to bet on you in the future.”
“They shouldn’t bet on who’s the nicest anyway.”
Yes, the Falcon wouldn’t be the winner of a be-nice-award. But when he volunteered to get the drinks and naturally included you, you figured that he didn’t need to voice his kindness. He rather showed it.
____
“Why will you drive me home? Didn’t you drink?”
“Because it’s late and dark, and I need to go home too. And of course I didn’t drink alcoholic beverages this entire time, are you nuts? Now, get in.”
You looked out of the passenger’s seat’s window when the car started rolling, lights flashing by in a blur as you drove through the streets at a normal speed, and yawned. “The party was just getting to be fun, you didn’t have to leave with me.”
“Just take this free ride, will you?”
“Okay.”
You listened to the Falcon’s lollipop clicking against his teeth when he moved it in his mouth and you yawned again.
“I spotted the Cheetah earlier tonight,” you said. “What’s the deal with this big race that’s coming up?”
“So the guys told you, hm.” The movements of the lollipop stick stopped. “Our history runs deep. To sum it up quickly: I can win against anyone, but never against him. I need to break this curse.”
“I get it,” you declared and leaned back in your seat. “You never beat him, so the rage waves just get stacked on top of each other, and the more races you lose, the more you want to win. Just like we journalists fight to have our stories be headliners every month and there is always this one person who snatches them the majority of the time.”
The Falcon sighed. “A weird and out of place comparison, but I guess you’re not entirely wrong.”
You seamlessly continued, “When was your first race against him?”
“I guess when I turned 21. That’s when I started racing.”
“Wow, so many years and no win against him? It must be frustrating.”
“Yeah, just rub more salt into the wound,” he muttered, a bit offended, “but as I said, this is going to end in a few weeks. He won’t be Kind of the Streets anymore. It will be me who will take the crown.”
“King of the Streets?” You asked. “Is that the official title?”
“Just a label we throw around in the community every now and then, but nobody gets literally crowned, if you know what I mean. He’s just been inheriting this title forever, and I’m sick of it.”
“Did you only start because you wanted to win the title?”
“What? Of course not! I started because my fa-” He stopped. “Hey, I know what you’re doing!”
You giggled. “Don’t worry. I didn’t ask you as a journalist, I ask you as your teammate, your navigator. We have made rules and I will stick to them. Is it too much to ask for, getting to know you? We spend so much time with each other, we trust each other, don’t we?”
He became silent. You got him. “I guess so.”
This reply surprised you very much as you hadn’t expected it. But you regained your composure very quickly despite the feeling still lingering in your chest. “How many siblings do you have... Jaehyun?”
It was the first time that you vocally said and thought about his real name. You had been avoiding it, but you couldn’t keep calling him the Falcon. He was human too, although he would remain anonymous in your story.
Jeahyun paused, but eventually replied, “You already know of my younger sister. She’s the only one. I live with her and my mom.”
“How old is your sister?”
“She’s fourteen.”
“So, in middle school.”
“Exactly.”
Where was his father that he had nearly mentioned? You wanted to ask this and much more, but the way his voice had changed by the end, you knew that this was it for today. And it was okay. He should only share what he felt like sharing. Instead, you decided to tell him more about yourself.
“I live alone. My parents divorced when I was a little child, and since my mom moved abroad with a new man directly after, I stayed with my dad. But he was addicted to booze. I had to grow up fast, because whatever role a parent usually played, he wasn’t in the position to take over it. One day, when I was the same age as your sister, he didn’t come home.”
Jaehyun breathed in deeply, and you sensed that he was about to drop a comment, but held himself back from doing so at the last second. You were unsure whether this was a sign to continue or not, but you did anyway.
“He got caught in a hit and run accident. He was the driver. Despite me telling him every day to cut out on the booze or at least never get into the car with alcohol in his system, he always did. And on that fateful day, he took an entire family with him.”
Having this story sealed in your heart for such a long time, you didn’t expect the syllables to fall from your lips so smoothly as though you were retelling someone else’s past and not your personal one. After all these years, you felt nothing anymore.
“Your question from before we got into the car…” Jaehyun started, but refrained himself from ending the sentence.
“If you had drunk something, I wouldn’t have gotten in the car with you. And If you had drunk something during a race, I would have quit right away.” You smiled mildly. “I’m relieved your addiction is lollipops.”
“Why had you agreed on being my navigator?” was Jaehyun’s next question. “You should resent people like me.”
“I can’t resent the world just because I resent my father. I want you to always come home to your sister like you promised her.”
He fell into silence. Perhaps, you had crossed a line, perhaps not. But you wanted him to know that you cared. You collected stories every day from different people and they all affected you, every single fate, more or less. But for him, you didn't care like a journalist for a subject. You cared like a friend.
“I want that too,” Jaehyun eventually responded. “Always coming back home to her.”
You smiled. “Then let’s work together well.”
____
With every race, you got calmer and more professional, and even though you had lost two races so far - as constant wins were an exception anyway except for when you were called the Cheetah - Jaehyun won with you, his team, almost all races, and he rose to the top again, shining as the Falcon in all his glory.
You still weren’t able to shake off your nervousness and slight panic entirely, but you got better in managing those feelings and most importantly, you didn't let it seep through the headset for Jaehyun to feel.
Through the next races, your connection only got stronger as you figured out a way to work silently and peacefully with each other. You even bonded over unfunny jokes and small conversations you held in the car when he drove you home, which he always insisted on - most likely because you were a woman and it was usually the middle of the night.
Jaehyun’s car was his safe space, because he knew whatever you talked about, even though most of the time it wasn’t even something important, it would never leave his vehicle without his permission.
“I never drink alcohol,” he suddenly told you on one of these rides home when you both got out of the car as you had decided to make a short stopover. “I never know when my sister or mom will need me since my father is not here anymore.”
It was the first time in a long while you talked about something other than the races, teams, your job and other trivial things. You had rarely talked about his personal topics ever since that one time. You were happy to hear that you finally reached this point again, and the conversation was even opened up by him.
Jaehyun seated himself on the car’s hood and you carefully crawled up to him. He made space for you and reached out his hand when you teetered, securing you while you settled right next to him. After having taken your place, you followed his gaze and encountered a view that you hadn’t seen before.
He had wanted to drive out of the city after this race just to clear his head, and you had complied despite this late hour. Now, you were watching the sunrise from the top of a hill on an early summer morning, wondering how a moment like this, that you had never dreamed of before, was suddenly making you so happy.
“Where is your father?” you finally dared to ask, because the moment felt right.
“In prison for fraud,” Jaehyun deadpanned. “He committed a huge tax evasion crime with his own company, not only taking the business down, but all of our savings as well along with the family’s reputation.”
You were shocked. “I don’t know what to say… I’m so sorry, that’s horrible.”
“He consciously did that, knowing exactly the outcome of his actions, what it’d cause us, what it would make of us.” His blood was boiling, it was palpable. “And now, my mother is working two jobs just to make the ends meet and pay off the debt because of this selfish, money-hungry bastard.”
Jaehyun… was he racing to support his family too, just like his friends? Because a son who described his father as a selfish, money-hungry bastard couldn’t be one himself.
“I guess we both grew up with father figures we couldn’t really rely on.”
On top of the car were sitting two people with inner children that had been abandoned by their parents at some point. But you both had learned to make it through life without them. Screw them, you were going to make it better than your parents.
“I don’t want my sister to grow up thinking all men are like our father. I’m not the perfect example for an older brother, but I would do everything to give her the life she wants, such as illegal car racing just to open up the possibility to her of enrolling into her preferred university.”
So that was why and always, it was about winning races for him. Even though he had claimed otherwise in the beginning, he was not someone superficial who only cared about fame, you had always known. He cared about his family, and friends. And, as someone who hadn’t grown up with the first, it was pretty touching that a brother would do that for his sister. Nobody had ever done that for you and you didn’t have someone who would even consider doing this for you, too.
“You sister must be really proud of you.” You smiled. “You’re a good person, Jaehyun.”
Suddenly, he turned cold. “Easy for you to say, knowing only this side of me.”
These words hurt you after spending quite a lot of time with each other.
You had gotten to know his friends and now some of his backstory. You knew you were in no position to feel this way considering that he didn’t see you as his friend yet apparently. Still, it stung somehow.
“When I was your sister’s age, I would have loved to have an older brother by my side who cares so much about me. I was all alone, but your sister has you. Whether you see yourself as a good person or not, Jaehyun, it doesn’t matter to your sister at all. You’re good in her book, that’s enough.”
“I appreciate you saying that.” He was being sincere, judging by his voice. “My sister doesn’t endorse my… side hustle. But she accepts it without a complaint, because she knows that’s what gets us through. My mom on the other hand… You know how moms are. So we keep it a secret from .”
No, you actually didn’t. And Jaehyun only realized that when he saw how your face fell. “I shouldn’t h-”
Yet, you tried to overplay it with a shrug and a wave. “It’s okay. It slips off most people’s mind, because having a family is something we suggest everyone has. I don’t blame anyone for thinking the same about me.”
“It’s not okay, I’m sorry for speaking so nonchalantly,” Jaehyun replied determinedly, taking you aback. “I will pay more attention to what I’m saying from now on.”
Nobody had ever reacted that way to such a sand trap. You were really surprised how understanding he actually was. “It’s not like I grew up not knowing what a family should be like,” you continued. “I saw it in the foster family that took me in until I left high school. I saw it in my friend’s family who I spent most days with. I saw it walking through the mall passing by parents with their happy children. I know exactly what it should be like having a family, I just never had one of my own.” You dropped your head, tilting the corners of your lips slightly upwards. “But one day, I dream of having one and do it all better.”
The silence that followed made you realize how bright outside it had already gotten, and also that you had just confessed your deepest wish to someone who didn’t even consider you his friend. It had something slightly embarrassing, but also comforting, because you knew he would understand you nonetheless.
But Jaehyun didn’t say anything back directly, and you felt a bit lost. It wasn’t like you didn’t feel validated or overlooked, the gaze in his eyes reflected nothing but understanding after all. Perhaps, he just wasn’t as good at expressing his thoughts as you. And that was fine as you were a writer after all. As long as you could comprehend what seemed to go on his head, you were fine with the way you communicated. It was this fine bond between the racer and the navigator.
“Get up, we’re getting breakfast,” Jaehyun eventually prompted.
It sounded great after a good race so you didn’t complain. “Okay!”
Jaehyun was already back on the ground while you still struggled getting off the hood without slipping. That was until you felt two strong hands gripping onto your sides and heaving you up as though you were as light as a feather. You could have sworn when you got inside the car, his hand lingered on your waist a bit longer than it needed to. But it could all have been in your tired mind as well.
____
You hadn’t known breakfast would be taken in Jaehyun’s house.
“Please come in and eat, dear, we have enough!”
His mother was a cordial person whose smile brightened up the entire home upon entering. You instantly felt welcomed by her cheerful personality.
“It’s very nice to meet you,” you greeted her back and kind of awkwardly followed her into the kitchen where she had already set up the entire breakfast table for four people after Jaehyun had called her from the car to inform them they would have a guest over.
Different main and side dishes were presented, and you didn’t know where to look let alone what to eat first. You could tell Jaehyun’s mother had gone beyond and above to prepare this breakfast as he had given you a heads up that she usually left very early and came home late just to sleep the little time she had remaining. Yet, she never failed to eat breakfast with her children or at least make food for them every single day. That was motherly love.
You suddenly felt a wave of warmth spreading through your body. She wasn’t your own mother, but right now, you felt very much like part of a family you had never gotten to experience yourself. And Jaehyun had wanted to show you.
Tears welled up behind your eyes as you took a seat at the opposite of him, and you tried to hide your sentiment, yet still sneaked a look at him. His soft gaze, he hid behind his long fringe. His caring demeanor, he hid behind his rough words. His apparent worries, he hid behind a long scowl. But this was all a facade for what he truly was: a loving son and brother and so much more than a money-hungry, selfish racer.
“Did you guys study hard for the exams the entire night?” Jaehyun’s mom asked and you tilted your head in confusion.
“Yes, mom,” Jaehyun replied. “But she’s not a student anymore, I just picked her up on her way to work.”
She turned to you. “Really? What occupation do you inherit, dear?”
You looked into Jaehyun’s direction for approval, but he remained silent and nodded, so you told the truth, “I’m a journalist.”
“Really?” She clapped into her hands and laughed. “Jiyeong wants to become a journalist too!”
Before you could ask who Jiyeong was, a female voice already asked, “What’s with me?”
She didn’t look much like her brother. In fact, from the moment you saw her, you thought she was the spitting image of her mother, both very beautiful.
“Jaehyun’s friend here is a journalist, Jiyeong. Isn’t that amazing?”
“Really?” Jiyeong’s eyes started to sparkle and she approached you, seating herself right next to you. “I’m editor-in-chief at our school’s newspaper! Where do you work? I read almost all newspapers and magazines on a daily basis.”
While you were explaining to Jiyoung what articles were written by you of which she indeed remembered one or two, their mother placed rice in each of your bowls along with Jaehyun’s help.
You now knew why he had wanted specifically you and came back to recruit you not only once, but twice. The first time, he had most likely not thought about involving you yet. With his sister being into journalism, he knew how important your notebook was to you and genuinely only wanted to return it. The second time, he actually came around and wondered why not combine your talent for navigation with your occupation and get at least something out of your deal, not only for you, but for him - and his little sister - too.
“My dream is to attend Ehwa Woman’s university,” Jiyoung told you when you all started eating. “Where did you study?”
You smiled. It had been your dream to go to Ehwa too. But you didn't have money or relatives who could have supported you, so you attended a university far away from Seoul that was cheap in comparison. “I went to Chonnam University in Gwangju.”
“And you came back here and made it so far! I really look up to you!”
You flushed as you had always felt inferior to your colleagues who had attended the big and popular universities in Seoul, but Jaehyun’s sister not judging you by that but complimenting your actual skills touched you very much.
“Now, let her eat, Jiyeong! She hasn’t even come to touch her food yet! Please dig in, dear before it gets cold!”
It was your first breakfast together with loving people in many, many years.
When you stood outside with Jaehyun, waiting for his sister to get her backpack for school so that he could drive her there, you told him, “Thank you for introducing me to your mom and sister. I know why you did that.”
Because he wanted to show you what it felt like to have an actual, loving family. Because he wanted to show you that your work was never for vain. He had eventually become your friend, and you his. Yes, friend. But you didn’t speak it out.
“When I found out that you were a journalist, I immediately thought great, I need to introduce you to my sister!... But journalists also destroyed my life by writing articles not only about my dad’s crimes, but also about me,” Jaehyun explained, and you nodded, knowing it was about the mystery incident he had yet to tell you. “My sister never lost focus of her dream though. She told me she wanted to be one of the good ones, no defamation, always after the truth. So when you told me you were one of these people too, I thought that maybe, I can trust you after all, even with my life.”
“And you can!” You touched his arm in a gesture of comfort, and although his eyes widened, he didn’t pull away. “I stand by what we’ve promised to each other. I won’t publish anything without your consent. And if there is anything in the past that I have to clear up for you and your family, I will do so too.”
“Mhmm.” You saw him struggling through his mien, but he didn’t respond, apparently still needing to make his mind up. If so, you let him.
“So, what do you study? You never told me.”
“Nothing.” He heaved his shoulders and slowly dropped them again.
You frowned. “But didn’t you-”
“I dropped out last semester right after the incident.”
“But your mo-”
“- doesn’t know. Neither does my sister.”
You didn’t want to judge, that was not your job, as a journalist and as a friend. So you asked, “Why?” although you could most likely already make out the answer.
“We can’t afford it as of right now, so I’m postponing my graduation. I definitely want to return, but as always, it boils down to money,” Jaehyun clarified. “I want to do it better than my father. I want to found my own company too and provide to my family the life they deserve. Even if the path to this aim might not be all legal, I promised to myself to leave this part of me behind once I’m there.”
“...And I will do everything in my might to win every race for as long as we’re working together, Jaehyun.”
“For my sister? Or for your story?”
“Not only for me, but also for your sister,” you repeated, “for your mom and for y-”
You swallowed the last part, but the way his features softened suddenly, he might have understood nonetheless, and it made your heart flutter. Perhaps, in his eyes, you were now friends as well.
____
“There is nothing personal in this story.”
You felt defeated. You had hoped, with handing in your first draft, your editor-in-chief would be totally invested in the story as well, encouraging you to continue and maybe even compliment you on the premise. Instead, while reading through all the pages with you sitting anxiously in front of him, his facial expression had fallen more and more.
“What do you mean?”
“The beginning is very intriguing with you sitting in the car, racing with him. It’s perfect, the reader gets thrown right into the story. But after that?” He shrugged and threw the papers back on his desk. “Nothing. No feelings, no emotions, just scenery description and a lot of theoretical stuff. Nobody cares about how the navigation system works or how the cars are tuned.”
“Oh, I thought it might be interesting to read how the team stays connected and what makes the cars so special.”
“Nobody cares,” he retorted dryly. “That’s not the stories people like to read. They can google all that stuff.”
Although it hurt your feelings, you had to silently admit that he was right. You hadn't given much away in the article about how Yuta worked behind the scenes or what the navigation system was really capable of according to Taeyong, but had to google a lot of things yourself too. You had wanted to give as little personal details away as possible, but apparently, it was too less. Your article was just boring.
“There is no common thread,” he criticized sharply. “Do you want to write about yourself being involved, about the sports in common or about the Falcon? Because right now, it’s all of this and nothing at the same time. If you’re that involved, write about what you do, how you learned it, about your feelings during the races. If you write about the sports, interview other teams, the spectators, dive into the history. If you center the plot around the Falcon, what’s his background, what does he race for, what’s his aim?”
You exactly sensed which direction he wanted to push you. “I’ll write abo-”
“I think,” he cut you off, “if you want to make it a headliner, you have to focus on the Falcon.” There it was. “Why did the Falcon really pause for so long? Is it true that he had caused an accident during a race? What really happened back then? How did he regain his fame? What made people change their minds? And most importantly, is he going to win and what will he do with the prize money? These are the questions that intrigues the reader. They want emotions, passion, they need to feel something while reason. Right now, everything I’m feeling is my hunger since it’s almost lunchtime.”
You purposely overheard his subtle taunt. “Those are very personal questions that he doesn’t want to talk about.”
“Well, then make him.”
You kept it to yourself that you already knew most answers. “As journalists, we also have to respect the people’s privacy and opinions.”
“Then make the entire story anonymous with all the personal information gathered,” he proposed. “It’s not less personal, but no names are given away.”
“I already plan on doing that.”
“So what’s the problem?”
”People will still know, that’s how known he is. I cannot reveal things he doesn’t want me to reveal.”
Either way, anonymous, with his alias or even real name written in the article - it would hurt him all the same. It was his personal story, his family, his friends. It made him beautifully human, but also painfully fragile. It was his story to tell when the time was right, when he decided to do so, not you.
“Very well.” Your boss got up from his seat and took his jacket. “You can publish it like this if you want. I guess for a nice closing story at the end of the magazine, it's enough.”
For the first time in your life, you were having a clash of interest. There it was in front of you, your dream job position, so close if you were only selfish enough. And behind you stood the man whose trust you had just gained, begging you to respect his past wounds. What would you do?
____
It wasn’t easy, balancing racing by night and working by day. Oftentimes, you didn’t get more than four hours of sleep, spending time at home after work just to shower, change and then leave for a race again. You didn’t complain. You never did, because you enjoyed it very much. The newly formed friendship between you and Jaehyun’s team was something that brightened up your day as you had never experienced this kind of bond before. But you also didn’t leave your aim out of sight.
With Jaehyun’s rising popularity though also came people who voiced out their doubts about him even louder. You had just finished this night’s race and were waiting for Jaehyun to take you home, already looking forward to a bit of alone time with him, when you overheard a group of young men passing by.
“I don’t care what others think or whether he’s popular,” one of them said. “As long as he’s staying silent, he’s guilty in my book.”
“In mine too,” the second chimed in. “Why has he never said anything on that topic? And now, only because he’s winning so often and challenged the Cheetah, everybody seems to have forgotten about it? Bullshit.”
Your fingers clenched by the time the third one commented, “Don’t worry guys, he’ll fall out of grace as far as he has fallen. It’s always like this.”
“Hey!” Now, you couldn’t listen to this conversation any longer and stepped out of your dark corner. “Do you feel proud, talking like this about a person you don’t know?”
They stopped in their tracks and turned around to you. “And who are you?”
“Oh, I think she’s their navigator!”
One of them stepped in front of you and grinned. “Then, you must know the truth if you’re in the team and fight for him so desperately, right?”
The other two followed suit and laughed in unison. “Or are you in love with him and would defend him even though he’s guilty?”
You realized that you actually didn’t care about the truth anymore. You didn’t care when or whether Jaehyun would tell you one day at all. But that didn’t withhold you from defending him like your life depended on it. Someone who loved his family and friends so dearly, who always paid much attention to the street and passerbyers, who had to talk you into taking a detour just because there was a crowd of people he had to race by… you would always defend your racer.
“The truth is none of your business,” you said confidently. “Do I ask about what mistakes you’ve made? A person I do not know personally? What has this got anything to do with his performance anyway? Either you bet on him or you don’t, but nobody forces you. He doesn’t need your dumbass opinions to win, he doesn’t even know who you are.”
“Hey…”
You couldn’t tell who had spoken up, but you didn’t care much as you just hit your stride. “How about you get in the car and try to do the things these racers do? I bet you wouldn’t even last a few minutes on these streets. It must be so peaceful, watching from the sidelines with your big mouths as long as you’re not the ones in action, am I right?”
“Hey!”
Little did you know that the voice had come from behind you. Only when you felt an arm around your shoulder, pulling you close to a chest whose scent smelled very familiar, it dawned on you that no one in the group had tried to speak up, but it had been Jaehyun who was standing behind you, most likely all this time already.
But he wasn’t mad, even though your cheeks were burning. “Listen to my girl. If you dare to raise your voice against her again, you’ll be the ones the newspapers will be writing about the next day. Understood? Now, good riddance.” One opened their mouth to retort, but Jaehyun didn’t let him. “I SAID GOOD RIDDANCE!”
They were out of your sight quicker than you could process, and Jaehyun let go of your shoulder the same moment.
“Come,” he urged you, and you silently followed him to the car. “I have to show you something.”
After you were driving for a little while all in awkward silence, you finally dared to ask, “Where are we going?”
“I’ll show you the truth.”
From the way his lollipop clicked against his teeth, you could only sense Jaehyun’s anxiety, and you wondered what got him so worked up even though he had won the race. You could only think of one reason. Perhaps, today was the day.
“Does it have something to do with what happened back then?”
“Yes.”
“Did I say something wrong earlier?”
Immediately, the clicking noises stopped, but he gripped the steering wheel even tighter. “You’ve gotten everything wrong.”
Your stomach dropped and you suddenly felt so nauseous. “Jaehyun… what was wrong about it?”
He was visibly upset now. “How can you say all these things about me?”
“These.. things? What did I say that was wrong? I don’t understand. I meant every word and I don’t care whether you heard them or not, because they are the truth.”
“You don’t know the truth.” He added, “Yet.”
“Even if… There was nothing wrong with what I said. You don’t need them to win, you don’t need spectators and betters. You only need yourself and your team. Everything else doesn’t matter.”
He didn’t reply, but kept his eyes fixated on the street in front of him. Not much talking, but many kilometers later, you suddenly came to a halt in a narrow street under a light post in a quiet neighborhood in the suburbs. To your left and right were single family houses and nobody was in your field of vision at this ungodly hour.
“Is this…?”
He took the lollipop out of his mouth and inhaled deeply. “This is where it happened.”
“Oh. Jaehyun…” You had been prepared to be taken here, but now that you were actually at the location, you didn’t know what to say.
“This is the spot where I collided with a pedestrian.” Even though he didn’t stutter or pause, you still realized how much mental strength it had taken him to not only bring you here, but to also speak about the incident - probably for the first time ever since it had happened. “He didn’t die on the spot. He survived, actually. That much, I know after I asked around in the hospital. I don’t know who he was, where he was going, whether he had family or other people who cared. I just called for an ambulance, drove my car away and remained hidden until they arrived. Then, I fled. This is the truth.”
You couldn’t deny that you were relieved he didn’t do a hit and run. You were also relieved that nobody had died and that the truth behind the accident was something that wouldn’t shake your friendship to the core. Of course it was bad, and he knew it himself. He’d always known and deeply regretted it, every single day. You saw it clearly now.
“I believe you.”
In moments of panic, humans were indeed most likely to do things they were not proud of, things totally wrong they wished to change later if only they could travel back in time. Things, they would have handled differently if they hadn’t panicked or were too scared. Jaehyun wasn’t an exception, although the baggage he had to carry was heavier than most else’s.
Humans were not perfect. For him, it all started with his not so perfect father and the not so perfect life he was living, leading him to do not so perfect things to save what was still salvageable.
“For one hot minute,” Jaehyun continued, “I really thought about leaving him there and fleeing as fast as possible. I couldn’t go to jail like my father and leave my mom and sister all to themselves, dropping them entirely too. I couldn’t get caught, so I did my best to prevent this.” He laughed, bitterly. “After all, I am what people think of me. So your words mean nothing.”
“My words mean nothing?” It hurt. “It’s easy to tell someone how to behave when the incident has already taken place. But at the end of the day, we can never be sure how we, ourselves, would have reacted or what we would have thought at that moment. You thought about your mom and sister, but you thought about the accident victim too. You wanted to do the best for both. So you reacted accordingly to what was best in your mind.”
“Still, I’m not the person you painted me to be. I nearly killed someone in a race. And you know why? Because I thought taking a shortcut through a neighborhood would make me win the race back then. It’s not forbidden, but this is the reason we racers usually never do that.”
That was why he had been so reluctant to go through your neighborhood at your very first accidental race together. And he still wouldn’t, no matter how much he trusted you. What had happened back then was still sitting deep within him - justifiably.
“I am running illegal races with you,” you started. “I have always known that you wouldn’t work with the law. And I am neither! So what does that make us?”
He sank his head and placed his hands on his lap. “You speak so highly of me, but in reality, I am a very bad person.”
“You’ve introduced me to your sister and mother, Jaehyun. If this is where a bad person grows up, then the entire world is rotten and beyond the point of saving. But people like you give me hope.”
“Why would a person like me give you hope?”
“Because, despite your situation, you still have so much love inside of you that expresses itself in so many forms. That’s why you’re loved too, by many people.”
Silence engulfed you, and you thought that Jaehyun would drive away after sometime again, but he didn’t, so you accompanied him in this quietness as long as it helped him process the past.
“You know why I wanted to take this shortcut?” he eventually spoke up quietly, and you shook your head. “Because I wanted to end the race abruptly and rush home… That night, my sister got very sick and my mom wasn’t home. I already announced that I would drop out before it happened.”
That was something the newspapers and no one else had ever mentioned. Of course, people always focus on sensational facts. It was easier to tell a story and transfer emotions when the main feeling an article would lure out was hate against someone.
It still had been a crime, this was a fact. And he could still go to jail for that. But you believed that the man who cared about his family so much and who was able to care about strangers too, was still very much haunted by his past, far more than he wanted to let slip through his facade.
If he hadn’t had a family to take care of, things would be entirely different. But he trusted you enough now to tell you all this and not fear that you would go behind his back.
My girl… you remembered. Had he truly meant it? Had you proven to him your undeniable loyalty just earlier?
“Jaehyun…”
Slowly, your hand wandered to his lap on top of his. Against your expectations, he grabbed yours and squeezed it tightly.
____
When Jaehyun wanted to drop you off at your building much later, the tension between you was still palpable, and you didn’t know how to make it vanish.
Perhaps, only time was needed - for him to believe that nothing had changed between you, and for you to settle with the fact that the guy who caused your heart to jump, just only a little bit, had done something grave in the past that you had to work through as well. After all, it still had been a crime.
“Jaehyun…” You wanted to end the night on a positive note, but he didn’t let you finish the sentence.
“Our ways will part here and now.”
You thought you had misheard. “Pardon?”
“I can’t demand a goody two-shoes like you to help a criminal like me,” he said coldly and stiffened in his seat. “And I surely won’t help a goody two-shoes like you write about my criminal record anymore now that the truth was inevitable to come forward with. So it ends here. Now.”
You knew where this rooted from: doubt and guilt. But during your entire career path, you had dealt with a lot of people who suddenly changed their minds on a topic or got cold feet.
“That won’t happen, Jaehyun,” you claimed. “You don’t have another navigator as good as me, no one and nothing can come close to the connection that you and I have.”
“It’ll be fine,” he obliged. “Now, go.”
“No,” you refused. “I will stay.”
“I SAID GO!”
“AND I SAID I WILL STAY!”
“Gosh!” he yelled. “Why can’t you be obedient for once towards me and leave before I hurt you too?!”
You both froze when it dawned on you what he had just said. You almost didn’t dare, yet you had to make sure that what he had said was indeed real.
“You’re afraid to hurt me?”
“I deceive my mom when it comes down to my activities and my studies. If she ever finds out, she’ll be hurt. I hurt my sister by not always being there for her whenever she needs me. I hurt my team for expecting them to be there for me although they have their own struggles. And I hurt you, because I cannot be the person you expect me to be. I only hurt the people I love.”
You took a deep breather and waited a few heartbeats in case Jaehyun wanted to chase you away again. But he didn’t. He just sat there in the driver’s seat, shoulders slumped, bangs messily falling into his eyes and the lollipop stick not moving a bit.
“You want to protect your overworked mom from more worries, you want to provide a good future for your sister, and you split the win evenly among the team for them to help their families too. If I don’t expect a friend to be exactly like this, then what else?” you confessed.
But Jaehyun didn’t like this answer, it was written all over his face. You were scared that you had said something wrong.
“Friends?” he suddenly croaked.
“Yeah, friends,” you repeated slowly. “Aren’t we… friends?”
You had seen him as your friend all along, though one who made your cheeks warm when he called you “my girl” and your heart swell when he touched you. But now, it hurt you that he had never felt even the slightest of the same connection. Fair enough, everyone needed their own space, and with Jaehyun’s past, it was his own right to decide whether to ever make friends again.
You had just hoped…
Cherry.
That was the taste of Jaehyun’s lollipop, he never chose another flavor.
Though, it tasted different from his own lips than from the candy directly.
You were asking yourself how this sweet taste could calm him down when all it did to you at this moment was making your heart race and nearly jump out of your chest. Perhaps, because this time, you tasted the lollipop’s sweetness on his tongue rather than in your own mouth, and he made sure that you experienced every taste bud this flavor had to offer.
Lollipops were very sweet already, and although Jaehyun was a fast and restless street racer, his kisses were much sweeter than candy. Admittedly, you hadn’t expected him to possess this side, but now that you thought about it, the signs had already been there whenever you observed him eating the candy.
Jaehyun’s fingers curled on your back when you motioned forward, away from your seat and more into his welcoming hug. The dashboard between you hindered you from embracing fully, causing you both to giggle at some point, but you continued kissing with your arms slung around his neck, for very long even after the cherry taste had vanished.
You weren’t hurt anymore over the fact that Jaehyun didn’t see you as his friend. You had never been friends. You had always been more than that.
____
Jaehyun’s victim had been a 45-year-old party chairman - that much you had found out through your connection to different journalists and a few demanding calls. The fact that after the incident, only silence followed and no details were revealed, not even about the gender and the age of the victim, had gotten your alarm bells ringing. And now you knew why.
A famous politician involved in a street racing accident, but no one had mentioned his name? Something was not right with this story, you didn’t need to be a professional to recognize this.
“I need his record,” you then said at the hospital’s reception.
Your editor-in-chief had given you this employee’s contact, assuring you she was more lenient in data protection when she saw the right amount of money. And your boss had been very happy to pay her the requested amount the moment you told him what you were after.
“This is exactly the kind of story I was looking for,” he had complimented you. “Good job. Now, go after it.”
You had left the building right away, making your way to the hospital the chairman had been admitted to after the accident.
“Here is a copy of his record,” the woman at the reception whispered to you. “All is well, he got out after two weeks. There is one interesting thing though… but look for yourself.”
“Thank you.”
You took the papers, and too excited to drive all the way back to the office, you looked through them right then and there after having found a quiet spot in the waiting room.
There was nothing abnormal at first for a car accident. It had left him with deep grazes, a dislocated arm, two broken ribs and a concussion. It sounded quite bad, but very mild for the fact that a car had hit him, and not at all life-threatening. So the accident had not been that severe as Jaehyun had made out to be in his panic.
Perhaps, that was the reason the party chairman had never been named in the news. But on the other hand… newspapers got to write articles about important politicians all the time, and just this once, his name had been left out? This didn’t sound like something a newspaper would do under these circumstances.
The more important the name, the more clicks and sales the news generated. They must have been bribed to keep his name entirely out of all news revolving around this incident. You were wondering yourself why. Given all facts, no matter how macabre it sounded, this kind of accident would even play into the party’s hands.
A very important politician who got hit by a street racer and admitted to the hospital with fractures? It would even be a headliner with the conclusion to go harder after such illegal activities.
Everything just doesn’t sound right. Something was being kept buried that no one should know about and could possibly threaten the party’s reputation. That much, you were already sure of.
… but what could it be?
You gasped when your eyes passed the passage that gave you a single answer to all your questions.
Patient was heavily intoxicated.
Whether it were drugs or alcohol, you didn’t know. But you were going to find out soon as you returned back to the office and made a call to the police.
____
“How high is the possibility that this program is actually a virus?” you asked and looked over Yuta’s shoulder who was currently typing something into his laptop.
“Very low, but it’s still new, so we never know what will happen anyway,” Taeyong answered on his friend’s behalf and stretched out on Yuta’s bed in whose home you had all gathered today. “Can’t you detect it if it’s one?”
“What do you think I’m currently trying to do here?” Yuta rolled his eyes. “I’m a programming student, not a wizard.”
“Okay, sorry? Jeez.”
“Doyoung said that with this program, you will also get the coordinates of all cars in your ten kilometer radius that use a GPS, so you can plan the route and the car’s speed even more predictively,” Yuta explained instead. “I’m still trying to figure out how.”
“The race is in two weeks. You should hurry.”
“I know, Taeyong. You think these last weeks I’ve only been sitting around?” Yuta gave his friend a scowl. “If it’s a new program, even used before its beta phase, it’s not so easy.”
“Yeah, but-”
“Okay, enough guys!” you interrupted their bickering. “Taeyong let Yuta work and peace and rather go through the city's plan for next week with me to mark all new construction sites, okay?”
In unison, they both said, “Fine.”
Taeyong turned to you while you started your own laptop to leave Yuta alone, and Jaehyun and Johnny were currently outside to maintain his car. You felt so included like never before in your life.
You’ve always said you didn’t grow up with a family. But sometimes, a family wasn’t something that you necessarily grew up with. Family also didn’t need to be bonded by blood. Sometimes, you lost family along the way, sometimes you gained one. And everyone would always welcome you into their family.
In your case, you gained a family in the form of a strong friendship that you had never experienced before in your life. Sitting here, analyzing maps with Taeyong while Yuta was silently typing away and Johnny and Jaehyun would soon come upstairs to talk about the next race after which you would all order food and then watch a movie together…
This was your own definition of family. This feeling of being cared for, trusted and loved without expecting anything in return, so much that it almost felt like your heart was going to burst. Your team was your family.
“I want to show you a place,” Jaehyun said when you were sitting in his car when all the work was done later that evening.
“Don’t you need to go home as usual?”
“My sister is having a sleepover at a friend’s house.” He smiled. “So I think my mom will enjoy a little more alone time to rest better.”
“Okay, then let’s go!”
Jaehyun stopped the car only much later after you had driven up a mound with a path so narrow, you feared the vehicle wouldn’t make it despite all its tuning. But against your expectations, you arrived at the top in that very same car, and the view over the entire city was splendid.
“I didn’t know such a place existed!” you called out and ran around the viewing place. “Jaehyun, I can see the entire city, and we’re not even on a mountain!”
“Do you like it?” he asked, following suit.
“I love it!”
“And I-”
“Hm?” You turned around to him with the biggest smile on your face. “What is it?”
He shook his head with a soft look on his face. “Nothing.” Then, he stepped close to you and hugged you from behind. “I’m happy you love it. It’s my favorite place. After the incident with my father happened, my sister and I came here a lot, because it made us forget reality for quite a while.”
“Thank you for sharing this special place with me.” You felt him kissing the nape of your neck and you shuddered pleasantly. “It really means a lot.”
The true meaning of it was revealed to you by him right after, “I spent most of the time here before my comeback. I wanted to give up on racing entirely. One night, I didn’t come home and my sister went to look for me which took her all night. I lost track of time, and I probably felt so ashamed returning to my family. When My sister found me here at the early hours of dawn, looking like a ghost and having cried all the way to this place, I knew that I had to do everything to protect my family. That’s when I dropped out of university and decided to race again. One day, I don’t want to do this anymore. One day, I’ll be free.”
You loosened yourself from his hug, shifted around and embraced him now from the front, body to body. “You’ll be one day, Jaehyun.” He gently brushed his fingers through your hair. “One day, you can provide your family the life they deserve and can finally live the one you have dreamed about as well.”
“But do I deserve it after everything that I’ve done?” He sounded full of doubts. “I’m not sure.”
You responded, quite confidently, “You do.”
“Actually,” Jaehyun changed the topic, “This car was my dad’s. He owned two, a big, elegant one to show off at work, and this one for his free time. It’s the only thing that was left, because it was registered to my mom’s name before I changed it to mine.”
You were curious about one topic. “Why did you never sell it? You only started racing after his arrest, right? Why have you never exchanged it for money?”
“I thought about it, a lot, in fact,” he clarified. “Maintaining a car is a very expensive hobby, after all. Apart from the fact that races became my source of income as it makes money fast and much, I think a part of me can’t also fully let go of my father.” He chuckled, but rather bitter and full of regret. “Isn’t it ironic? I think of it like my father repaying the debts he caused. It's satisfying.”
A wicked thought, but you liked the way he thought about it.
“Hey,” you then said, grinning, “do you want to get back at him once more?”
____
“Close your mouth and suck.”
This time, Jaehyun didn’t mean the lollipop he had put into your mouth, but something entirely else.
Luckily, the front seats of his car were able to be raised back all the way, so he was now lying almost flat on his back, his hands gently but determinedly having guided your head to his loin while you were sitting between his angled legs. You did as you had been told and sucked him off like a lollipop.
Your arms were propped up against the edges of the seat with your head bobbing up and down in a regular rhythm, but your tongue did the most work whenever you paused your neck movements just to indulge him with your proficiency.
“Jesus Christ,” Jaehyun cursed and put his forearm over his face so that his facial expressions would be hidden from you. It was like he didn’t want you to know how much control you had over him, but this was for no avail anyway as his swearing gave it all away, “No fucking way…”
It was certainly not your first time sucking him off, so it wasn’t like you didn’t know what he looked like enjoying this kind of pleasure. You found it rather cute how he still thought he could hide this side of him from you.
Your tongue rolled over the tip of his dick, leaving a trace of saliva where it passed. Making sure you covered every angle with your motions, you halted them when you opened your mouth entirely and slowly took in the majority of his length until you felt like you couldn’t do more.
Jaehyun let out a groan that made you smile inwardly, and it only got louder when you let him pass by your lips, but didn’t let him slip out entirely. Instead, you sucked on the tip like the cherry lollipop he often offered you.
You made sure to alternate between sucking and taking him into your mouth almost entirely, and when your left hand wandered to his warm thigh, you felt how tense he had become due to the arousal you made him feel. Instead of letting your hand go back though, Jaehyun stretched out his own to grab your fingers and intertwined them.
His nails dug into your skin and his thighs became very tense, closing around the sides of your face when his release was near. He came in a long spur directly into your mouth, and you swallowed it all down, including cleaning him up - with your tongue of course.
Jaehyun reached out to your face while you were licking over your lips, and you smiled at each other before his own gradually grew more wicked.
“You know what?”
“What?” You wiped with the back of your hand over your lips.
“I also never had sex in this car. Wanna change that?”
He didn’t need to ask twice.
Although it was still very narrow in the vehicle, Jaehyun had swiftly managed to change your positions so that you were now lying underneath him and he was kneeling in front of you in a crouched position. You giggled amusedly when you watched him taking off his shirt as he tried to do so without bumping into anything, but this had been an impossible task from the very beginning. Luckily, you had undressed yourself before already, so that he didn’t need to take care of that part too.
You assumed Jaehyun still needed a bit of time until he could go in fully again, but what would come before that, you had never expected. Your fingers were desperately gripping onto the door handle while your other hand was holding onto the seat belt that slowly dug into your flesh. But this slight pain passed by you almost unnoticeably when another feeling had taken control over your entire body and mind already.
You had already experienced how skillful Jaehyun was with his tongue whenever you kissed, which was long before indicated by the way he played with lollipops in his mouth. Of course he would put this skill into use elsewhere too.
But that he would be this good… You shuddered again when you came the second time in the span of a few minutes after Jaehyun had draped his hot, wet tongue all along your folds, causing your back to lift off from the seat and moaning his name over and over again.
And even then, he didn’t stop. He came to face you after cleaning off his mouth, and kissed you for a long time until you had entirely calmed down before he crawled back to his original position and squeezed his fingers into your bum again to bring it closer to his face.
With the tip of his tongue, he searched for the sensitive bundle of nerves, and you indicated that he had found it when you let out a light squeal. His lips enclosed the bud and you felt all your blood vanishing from your face when he started sucking on it. Oh god, you thought to yourself, you were surely going to pass out.
But he didn’t let you cum this time. Before you released, Jaehyun stopped and flipped you onto your stomach as swiftly as the narrow space allowed him to. Instinctively, you had already brought your bum up to give him better access, and you bit down into the flesh of your arm on which you had your chin rested when you felt him sliding into you from behind in one long motion.
The sound of his groin slapping against your cheeks mixed with your moans filled the car, and luckily, you had been the only ones on this view point at such a later hour. You had only had sex with Jaehyun once in your home, and you had never defined what that was between you. Maybe, you were too dense to speak it out and too naive to actually believe it, but you loved him.
Ironically, you only realized that when you decided to change positions and Jaehyun was constantly bumping his head on the ceiling and you got on top. You were settled on his hips, his length buried deep inside you, but you didn’t move yet.
You let your fingertips wander over his chest, taking your time, and he suddenly grabbed them, led them to his mouth and kissed the tips. When you gazes locked, you were sure.
Yes, you loved him. With all his flaws, his burdens and his past. Perhaps, you had never experienced this kind of love, which was why you had always been reluctant and unsure, but if this wasn’t love, you didn’t know what was. You just hoped that at one point, he would come to feel this way about you too.
“What is it?” he asked with worry when you made no intention of continuing. “Is something wrong? You want to stop?”
But you shook your head. “It’s just… I don’t want this moment to pass.”
Even in the semi-darkness, you encountered Jaehyun’s smile. “I feel the same way.”
Slowly, you raised your hips and slowly came back down to his groin. Jaehyun tried very hard to remain in eye contact with you, but when you did that several times more, he lost his composure again. You propped your hands up against his hard chest and picked up your pace, slamming onto him over and over again in a fast pace.
When you ran out of breath, you alternated the fast motions with sitting on his lap and just letting your hips rotate in different directions and forms, which very much pleased Jaehyun as well by the way he didn’t stop moaning at this part as well.
With time though, your stamina gave in, you slumped over him, eventually let yourself fall onto his chest, because you were too exhausted to go on anymore.
“Want me to finish?” he asked and stroked your shoulder to which you could only give a slight nod.
He kept you locked to his hips with his hands holding onto your sides very tightly and started thrusting upwards. You felt like he had knocked all the air out of your lungs, that was much much power he still possessed. Luckily, for you, you didn’t need to do anything anymore.
He was holding you as you laid on top of him, biting into his shoulder as he thrusted in and out of you with much force, which you really liked. Your thighs tensed around his sides and you whimpered gibberish into his ear, so close to cumming again.
Jaehyun let you release yourself first with a suppressed scream that partly still found a way to escape your lips, and your entire body shook as you felt your high flooding to every fiber of your body. He himself didn’t take much longer and you held him while he experienced his own orgasm, pressing you so close to him as though he was afraid of being parted from you ever again.
When you were getting dressed, he suddenly dropped, “I could get used to it.”
“Doing nasty things in your dad’s old car?” you joked.
But his expression remained serious. “No.”
You didn’t know what he meant.
____
You had written two different versions of Jaehyun’s story.
The first was the one he had read himself and approved of. There were only a few details and personal information sprinkled in here and there about the Falcon while you were trying to fill the emotional gaps with anecdotes and quotes from the other team members under an alias that they were willing to share. You were even successful in interviewing a few spectators and it would include the outcome of the race.
Overall, the less personal and official version gave a good overview over this illegal sport, and you were truly satisfied with this tame version. It was sufficient enough, intriguing enough and informative as well as emotional enough. At other magazines, the story would have made the headlines, you were sure of that. But for the magazine you worked for, enough was only good enough. You had to be better than enough, you had to exceed.
With this version of the Falcon’s story, you certainly weren’t. It wasn’t headline-material like your editor-in-chief expected after all the work you had put into it.
So you had written another version of this story.
One in which you talked about the Falcon’s past, his family, what had really happened back then before his career arose again and the relationships between you all. Yes, even between the two of you. And you had even come forward with the truth about the politician after hard research. This version of the story was personal and vulnerable, and it was the truth.
Jaehyun had gotten to read it as the first and only one.
“It wasn’t.. entirely my fault?” he had asked in disbelief when you gave him the story to read.
You had wanted to wait until you had gotten your facts straight, had enough proof, and then came over to his house to lay it out all in front of him. First, you were unsure whether he would like it, to have had you dig deep into his past.
But if he came to hate you and started to hate himself less instead, then it would have been worth it nonetheless. From one moment to the other though, you clearly saw in his eyes how much of a burden got lifted off his shoulder. Sure, the fact that the politician had been intoxicated didn’t change the fact that Jaehyun was way over the tempo limit, but he hadn’t been the only one at fault.
The politician had been intoxicated with drugs to the point of not being able to walk properly and had remained in the middle of the street, too far gone to think and speak straightly when Jaehyun had passed by.
“No, it wasn’t entirely your fault,” you assured him.
And with that certainty, you both decided to move past this as this case - to both parties luck, fortunately - had long been decided to be buried under the rug anyway.
Jaehyun didn’t come to hate you, you felt it in the way he hugged you close and never seemed to let you go after this revelation. He was, in fact, utterly grateful that you had never let go of this topic.
It was a step closer to him being free. From the very beginning, you knew which version you would publish after the race against the Cheetah. You had begged your boss to postpone the release for another month for you to include this race, and he had happily agreed - even to hold off the senior editor position.
____
“Are you nervous?”
You looked at Taeyong who took the seat next to you. Somehow, you weren’t nervous at all, even though tonight was Jaehyun’s big race against the Cheetah with so much money involved unlike ever before.
Later, you would also finish up the story with the outcome of the race and send it over still this night for the entire country to read. Perhaps, you were more nervous about this than the competition itself since you fully trusted your gained skills and Jaehyun himself. You wouldn’t treat this other than all the races before.
“I’m cool so far,” you said. “I just don’t know if it’s good or bad.”
“I hope it’s good. Jaehyun is probably more nervous than he lets slip.”
“I can hear you.” It was Jaehyun’s voice through your headsets.
“Good!” Taeyong exclaimed. “This wasn’t supposed to be a secret.”
You giggled just in the moment Yuta came over to you and put a usb on your desk. Just a few days before, you both had figured out how the new navigation system worked.
“Just plug it in and do as I told you.”
You nodded and reached for the stick. There were only ten minutes remaining. You had never seen this many people wanting to watch a race before and the tension was sizzling, not only between the teams, but between the spectators too. As far as you had heard, the bets were almost equally split as though no one could decide who would win in their eyes. The Cheetah’s team was in another building, and you wondered whether they were still nervous with the amount of times they had already won so war.
“Hey,” you suddenly heard Jaehyun through the headphones.
“Yes?”
Apparently, he had muted himself for Taeyong since he didn’t respond, but typed something into the computer and then turned around to talk to Johnny and Yuta.
“If something happens,” Jaehyun spoke, “no matter what, will you be with me until the end?”
“Of course.”
“No, I mean it.”
You frowned. “Mean what?”
He sighed deeply as if he was struggling inwardly trying to find the right words. “Will you be with me… until the end?”
“Of course!” you replied happily.
“No! I mean... shit.”
What did he want? “I don’t get it.”
“I love you.”
You were stunned.
It was the first time he had said this to you. The first time someone had said this to you. For how long had he been feeling this way already? Was there a chance he’d been in love with you for as long as you loved him too? You were long lost for words and before you could even inhale to say something back, Taeyong was by your side again.
“You guys ready?”
“Yes,” Jaehyun answered quickly as though nothing had ever happened.
“Then get ready.”
____
The moment the race started, you got to witness with your own eyes why the Cheetah was called the Cheetah. Jaehyun was already a remarkable racer, but his rival was immaculate.
You wouldn’t be Jaehyun’s navigator though if you hadn’t grown together throughout the past weeks. You were his additional eyes, ears and mind. Whatever he lacked or hadn't perfected, you carried out together, making him even stronger so that as of right now, he could easily take it on the Cheetah. You were going to win, that was how much trust you had in you both.
Midway through the race though, which was a real head-to-head contest that had eventually shaken off a part of your tranquility and replaced it with a bit of nervousness because of a few instances from which you quickly recovered nonetheless, Jaehyun started to panic.
“Shit, we didn’t see this coming!”
He complained about a construction site that had not been on your screen, but only popped up now. As of this instance, he was in advance, being in front of the Cheetah. Now, it was on you for how long he could hold that position.
“Don’t worry,” you tried to calm Jaehyun down while your heart raced almost as fast as the car itself right now. “I got you.”
“Why didn’t the new navigation system that Yuta gave you see it coming?” It sounded almost like an accusation and Taeyong shot a meaningful look at you from the side. “There are construction vehicles all around it!”
“Hey.” You didn’t raise your voice, you just wanted Jaehyun to snap out of his mental deadlock since he was too into it. “Stay calm.”
Sometimes, this happened. And if he was too panicked, he’d lose focus and make mistakes. That was why you were here. By now, you knew how to handle them and not let him irritate you or vice versa.
“I’m sorry.” Jaehyun had instant regrets. “I just want to win, I need to win.”
“I know. But to win, you have to trust me.”
You could only imagine his fingers gripping onto the steering wheel like his life depended on it, the knuckles first turning red, then white.
“I can’t lose,” he breathed and repeated like a mantra, “I can’t lose.”
On the screen, you perceived that he wasn’t as fast and sharp with his driving anymore, the Cheetah drawing closer to erase the remaining meters between the two cars. The vehicles appeared on the screen as dots on a map, the two that represented the racing cars now almost melting into one. Your entire team had gathered around you and were listening to you speak, only you and Taeyong knowing the details of your driver’s panic so far.
“You won’t lose, because I’m here with you, Jaehyun,” you assured him slowly, aware that in such kind of situations, you had to pretend to be calm to keep the driver at peace, even though you were tense as hell too. “It’s me, okay? I love you too, and I will be with you until the end. I know the meaning of this now, and of course I will.”
Silence - not only on the other side of the headset, but also in the hall among your team.
“Please say something,” you addressed to Jaehyun while ignoring all the other members’ grins. “This is kind of really embarrassing now.”
“I-I… I can’t,” he stuttered. “I’m… too happy.”
You smiled. Even though you were only connected via voice and there were other people standing behind you, you felt more connected to Jaehyun like never before.
“Are you ready to win this game with me now?” you asked him.
You felt his confident grin in every fiber of your body, it had given him the boost he needed. "Absolutely."
“Hey, we’re here too!” Johnny interrupted you. “What about us?”
“Get lost.” Jaehyun returned back to his grumble, but everyone knew that he didn’t mean it this way.
When you all broke out into a laughter together that lifted off the tension, even just a little bit, you finally felt like you had long reached the finish line. Not in terms of the race, but in terms of other things.
Trust, friendship and even love.
Because even if you had been among them only for a few weeks, you couldn’t imagine a better feeling than the warmth they caused you to experience right now with Johnny putting his hand on your shoulder in a comforting gesture, Taeyong smiling at you as he pointed at something on the screen, and Yuta rolling his eyes, seemingly not minding, but silently enjoying the entire situation.
This was it. This was your family. There was no deeper connection than you had with your team. You were going to win.
____
And you did.
Jaehyun crossed the finish line first.
Jaehyun won against the Cheetah.
Jaehyun was crowned King of the Streets.
…
But he didn’t last on the throne for long.
Only eight hours.
____
“King of the Streets”
… was the headline of your story that you finished late at night and sent over to your editor-in-chief so that it could still be printed for next month’s issue with the intention to be published the morning after.
____
“Congratulations.”
“Pardon?”
You were sitting in your boss’ office, the same chair, the same desk, the same window and the same view in sight. A few weeks ago, this had meant everything to you. You had wanted this, so badly, and you would have done everything for it. Now, it meant nothing anymore.
You hadn’t seen the new issue yet, that was not why you had come here. In your hands, you were holding a notice, but it had got nothing to do with what you had handed in the night before.
“‘King of the Streets’? I couldn’t have thought of a better title.” Your boss the issue in front of your eyes, but you rarely paid attention to it. “It’s great that you went with the way of leaving out the guy’s real name and even the politician’s name. Honestly, if I didn’t know who it was myself, I wouldn’t be able to guess. Now, people will get invested and do some digging. Congratulations on your promotion to senior editor!”
“Pardon?” you repeated.
You hadn’t written about the politician as agreed on. In fact, you had left out the entire storyline about the incident. That was why you had been so sure the story wouldn’t make headlines, and in your hands you were actually holding your resignation notice. You didn’t want to become senior editor. You wanted to quit.
With trembling hands, you reached out to the newest issue and looked at the headline. Indeed, this was your title “King of the Streets” with a stock photo that showed cars by night in front of a skyline. Your breath shortened when you searched for the right page and you felt like the air was being cut in your lungs when you stumbled over the story and started reading.
This was not your article. At least not the one that had been supposed to get published. It was the one only Jaehyun had gotten to read earlier, his very own, personal version. You felt sick in your stomach. How was this possible? Had you been hacked? Had someone secretly gotten access to your laptop?
“I… I sent you this?” Your voice shook with each syllable.
The editor-in-chief nodded. “Only a few minutes before the boring, second one. Of course I went with the first one. Who wouldn’t?”
“I didn’t send you this!” you nearly screamed. “How could you have published this?!”’
“Please calm down, Miss. This was sent from your very own email.”
“Show me,” you demanded and smacked the issue back on the desk. “Show me the mail!”
He sighed deeply and murmured something about short term memory, but you didn’t care much about his shenanigans anymore. Either way, today was the last day you’d ever interact. You’d just leave, what could he possibly do about it?
When your ex-boss shifted the desktop into your direction, you directly noticed, “This is not my work mail.”
It was your usual mailing name from a random provider, but neither your work mail address or your private one. Everything was similar except for the domain, indicating that someone had made this up on purpose.
“Yes, but I figured you might be using another mail, because you weren’t at home or didn’t have access. It was the big competition, so it was possible, right? Aside from that, this is your topic and writing style, even signed with your name. How could I have doubted it? I mean… this is your story after all, isn’t it?”
“It is.”
There was nothing you could say to defend yourself in front of him. You had written this all yourself, and the fact that it had gotten leaked wasn’t his problem. But someone else’s…
“I have to go,” you said.
“Well, when will you come back? We have to talk about your new position’s details.”
You laughed bitterly and didn’t forget to drop the letter on his desk. “I won’t come back.”
You didn’t care about your belongings. You just grabbed your bag, jacket and laptop and left the office without saying goodbye to anyone. The only thing on your mind right now was that you had to talk to Jaehyun and explain everything to him.
The more surprised you were to find him already sitting in the lobby. You were stunned, but as you continued your movements towards him, Jaehyun looked up, and your blood froze. He wore the biggest scowl on his face, and hidden behind it was the one emotion that hurt you the most: disappointment.
“Jaeh-”
“How could you?!” he yelled and arose from the coach, but he didn’t approach you. “I trusted you!”
You were assured it wasn’t because he was afraid he'd lose himself. He just couldn’t look you in the eyes as disappointment came forward more and more, revealing his true feelings. He couldn’t keep the angry facade up for much longer upon meeting you, the person he loved. But you still saw. Jaehyun was utterly hurt, and it was caused by this very same person.
You didn’t need to explain yourself, it wouldn’t change anything. You had betrayed and disappointed him like his father had, and there was no excuse for it. His entire past and deepest conflits had just been revealed to the country, and even though it wasn’t you who had published the story, you were the one who had written it.
Telling Jaehyun that it hadn’t been sent in by you wouldn’t change a single thing. The deed had already been done and there was no going back. You were just another person he had entirely lost faith and trust in, and there was no way for it to be restored. At least not right now, not immediately.
Jaehyun clenched his fists and pressed through gritted teeth, “You promised to me, I trusted you.”
Every syllable he directed at you pierced directly through your heart. You shouldn’t have written anything in the first place, it should have just stayed between the two of you. What had you thought while writing all of this? That you were doing him a favor? For what? No, it wouldn’t change anything, and it wouldn’t make him less sad and disappointed if he knew that you weren’t the person who had published it.
So you simply said, “I’m sorry, I should have never written this story.”
“I’ve always known you journalists were selfish bastards after all,” he hissed.
No heartbreak that you had ever experienced before came close to what you were feeling right now. At this point, you thought that you had been left by so many people in your life that you would need to entirely shut down.
Jaehyun didn’t speak it out, but you certainly sensed that he was going to leave you now, too. This was what you got for always being so nosy, for wanting so much and giving everything for it. In the end, when you reached your aim, everything didn’t matter when you lost every person that meant the world to you along the way.
“Get lost! Keep out of my sight and don’t ever dare talking to me again!”
When Jaehyun turned around without looking at you one more time, it felt like you were dying. So many people had walked out of your life already, and the man you loved the most being one of them hadn’t been in your book before. But now, it was very much real. It felt hurtfully real.
“Miss, are you okay?” the receptionist asked when she was approaching you.
You hadn’t noticed how your notebook had fallen on the floor, paper flying around everywhere. You were still looking after Jaehyun, petrified, while the young woman started to collect the sheets by your feet, but you barely noticed her. How was one to function, when they had lost what they loved the most?
Not much later, the receptionist was holding your arm after you had broken down crying in the middle of all your belongings. There was no one else anymore who could have emotionally supported you anyway, so who did it now was irrelevant to you.It didn’t help one bit though.
____
“Jiyeong?”
“Can I come in?”
It had been two weeks since Jaehyun had walked out of your life and you quit your job. Every minute of the day, you were hoping that he would come by to talk it all out. Not once had you hoped that his sister would do so instead of him.
“Sure.”
When she took off her shoes, walked past your small entrance and into your room, her eyes widened. “Why the many moving boxes? Are you…”
“I’ll be going away.”
“Where to?”
You smiled, but remained quiet, and Jiyeong immediately understood.
You didn’t want her to know and no one else either. Not because you were afraid that she or someone else would tell anyone, but because telling anyone at all would open the possibility of getting haunted by your past again. And this time, you just really wanted a clean cut.
“When are you leaving?” she asked instead, not even mildly offended to your relief.
“Next week.”
“I wish you all the best.”
“Thank you, Jiyeong. I really appreciate that.”
“Please don’t say this so easily.” Her expression changed into a pained one. “You’ll hate me from now on.”
“Why would I possibly hate you?”
She didn’t reply immediately, but nervously stepped from one foot on the other. She barely dared to look into your eyes, kneading her fingers nervously. “Because it was me.”
You were confused. “What?”
Even a bit quieter, she confessed, “It was me who sent the story to your boss.”
You were lost for words and still in hope you had heard wrong. “You sent the published story to my magazine that night?”
Slowly, Jiyeong nodded. “Yes. I found the story still open on my brother’s laptop when I went into his room to look for a charger. I couldn’t look past it, I really needed to read it. And it was so beautiful. My brother is just so deeply misunderstood, I was so relieved someone else saw it. So I wanted the entire country to know too.”
It was a lot for you to take in, and you still couldn’t believe this was real. “Did you create a fake mail account in my name and send it to my boss this way?”
“Yes. The mail from you with the article was still open, so it was easy to secure a similar address. I just acted on my personal intentions and disregarded your and my family’s feelings. I didn’t know what I would cause by doing that. I didn’t know I would not only get our mother worried, but hurt my brother and you too. I deeply apologize.”
“Jiyeong…”
“I thought,” she interrupted you, “I thought everyone would finally see my brother the way my mom, I, his friends and you see him. That he’s more than all that people paint him to be, and that the incident back then was different from everyone’s make up story. Never have I thought that I would not only ruin the lives of the people involved too, the least his or yours. I tried to change it up and make it as anonymous as possible, but I’m only writing in school, I don't have any real life experience, I’m still a child. I didn’t want all that, that was not supposed to happen! What was I thinking?!”
Her voice gradually grew louder and more upset, and when she hit the last sentence, she was close to tears.
You remembered the time when you were a teenager. There had been some grave mistakes you had made and many words you had said that you would want to have taken back immediately, but the deed had already been done and feelings had been hurt, including yours. Sometimes, the guilt gnawed on you like a parasite that never stopped being hungry.
You had never wanted to become a person who made someone else live with that feeling forever. In front of you just stood a teenage girl who had wanted to do the right thing and who just didn’t know what the right thing was. So you stretched out your arms and pulled her into an embrace. Jiyeon begged you over and over again to not hate her or her brother. You loved both of them dearly, how could you?
When she left after sharing a bottle of ice cream with you to soothe your both shaken up feelings, you also learned that Jaehyun had been informed about Jiyeong’s misconduct directly after he had come home the day the story was published - so two weeks ago.
This entire time, he knew. He had known all along and he never contacted you.
You hoped so badly that Jaehyun would still come. You were even still holding onto the slightest sliver of hope the day you moved away from Seoul, until the moment you closed your empty apartment door behind you.
But he never came.
It was just as you thought: It didn’t change anything, whether you or anyone else had sent in the story. The outcome would have always been the same.
So, if Jaehyun had decided to move on, then you would too.
Even though you had lived one of the best times of your life in that city, now it bearded nothing but a sorrowful past and broken dreams.
You wanted to move on, too.
____
2 years later
Moving out of a city didn’t simultaneously mean continuing on.
You had first needed to learn how to start life all over again.
It hadn’t been easy to begin again in Daejeon. It had taken quite a bit of time to find an affordable apartment, although the city was much less populated than the capital. It had even taken you much longer to find a job that fitted you more than the last one, and only recently had you settled with a new friend group.
Overall, life was going pretty well for you now.
Were it not for the fact that you still missed Jaehyun with every fiber of your heart.
After your published story, many newspapers had made follow up articles, even leaking the party chairman’s name. Of course he had then been fired from his position and the party would not make it to be one of those with the highest votes anymore.
Not a word was lost about the Falcon though. It was like he had never existed.
But you knew better.
Jaehyun had stopped street racing entirely and had enrolled back into university for his last year. He had taken the last race’s prize money to pay off the family’s debt - his entire team had left their amount to help him out this time, including you. This had allowed him to sell his car and start working part time in an electric shop.
It hadn’t been by far as much as he had earned as a racer, but they had made ends meet with honest work.
You were wholeheartedly happy for him when Taeyong had told you all this one day when you had met in Daejong a year ago.
“He misses you very much too,” he had said, and you had smiled lightly.
“I thought he hated me.”
“Did you forget what he said during his last race?”
That he loved you.
“I will never forget.”
Jaehyun had won the biggest race in his whole career, but he still wasn’t entirely free. Being crowned King of the Streets, having won a lot of money and becoming popular as well as getting your love - all that hadn’t set him free from his past.
“But now, it doesn’t matter anymore,” you had added, speaking to Taeyong.
He had wanted more time not only for, but also with his mom and sister. Being a good son and brother like his father could have never been.
Jaehyun couldn't put his life on hold to leave his family eventually, too. You had understood, so you had quietly accepted all this, letting him go and focus on the things he saw as important now. Where it had been racing and winning before, his priorities had entirely shifted.
If your love wasn’t part of this anymore but had made him realize this, then what more could you ask for?
By now, another year later, Jaehyun must have graduated from university already and his sister must be a sophomore in high school. Every now and then, you thought about them and prayed for their safety, but your life wasn’t on hold anymore.
“Miss, your interview partner is waiting in the lobby.”
“Okay, thank you.”
You took your notebook from your desk and walked out of your office. The room wasn’t as big as the one in your old company and the view was not as splendid, but you were editor-in-chief for the city's biggest magazine. You could write about things you really cared about like politics and things going on in town, nobody pressured you to cover topics that required you to do criminal things.
The company fitted your personality, your morals. It was perfect for you.
A week ago, you had gotten a request from someone who claimed to have a really good story for you. Even after telling the person via mail that your magazine didn’t take on this kind of sensational story, the person was being persistent, so you gave in and were open to hear what they had to say.
“Good morning, I-”
The last words got stuck in your throat and your breath caught simultaneously. You let your notebook nearly slip from your hands upon encountering your today’s interview partner.
“Good morning.”
He smiled the smile you had lured out of him only after a few weeks of knowing each other. In these two years, he hadn’t changed one bit. He looked more mature and admittedly also more relaxed, the scowl entirely gone. His clothes had changed into more sophisticated ones as he wore black dress pants and a white button up.
“Life’s been treating you well,” he added. “I’m happy for you.”
His deep, soft voice let you nearly melt again, but you were a professional, so you regained your composure real quick.
“I heard you have a really good story for me Mr. Jeong,” you smiled. “I’m really looking forward to it.”
____
Jaehyun wanted you to publish a story.
This time, with him and with his name written all over it.
“I don’t want to hide anymore, I don’t want to have secrets. I want to come clear, not only with myself, my family and friends, but also with everyone involved. I’ve already gathered permission from everyone, and even though it admittedly took me very long to reach this conclusion, I’m a hundred percent sure I want to do it. And most importantly, I want you to do it.”
It would be his personal story, from his own point of view where he would talk about his past, his father’s wrongdoings, his struggles and what he had been up to since his final race. He asked you to sell this story to your old company for a wider audience and for a follow up.
Legally, he weighed himself secure since he had talked to a few layers before making this decision. It was all for his conscience. If this helped Jaehyun finally move on entirely, then you would happily do it for him.
“Back then, during my last race, my navigator had never used the new system. I only found out much later.”
You paused your writing and looked up. You had settled yourselves in a conference room to work on this story without any interruptions. “Why did she never use it, Mr. Jeong?”
“She had so much faith and trust in our connection, she was sure she could do it without, that was how much she believed in me.”
You lowered your head and pretended to write, but out came only gibberish. Your heart was racing. You always fondly thought back to that time. “She must have been a real baddie,” you joked.
“She was.” The corners of Jaehyun’s lips curled upwards. “I don’t regret anything except for one thing.”
“Which is…?”
“Letting her go.”
You were asking yourself why you suddenly couldn’t see anymore as your vision was very blurry. When you wiped the back of your hand over your eyes, you realized that you had started crying, and the tears had stained the writing on your paper.
“I have one more question for you,” you only brought out.
“Yes?”
“Have you married yet, Mr. Jeong?”
The pause that followed almost tore you apart as you closed your eyes and prayed inwardly.
“I’ve been waiting for a special person to return to Seoul,” he nearly whispered. “When she didn’t, I went to search for her.”
You looked up to him, tears still burning on the brim, but somehow, you didn’t feel sad anymore. You felt more overwhelmed with this entire revelation that caused your heart to finally flutter again.
You had never stopped loving Jaehyun.
“And… what if that person doesn’t want to go back to Seoul?”
Jaehyun stretched out his hand and laid his palm against your cheek, wiping away your tears. It felt so familiar and warm, a feeling you had deeply missed. Even though there was still a respectful distance between you that had built up in the past two years, the connection was as deep and intense as ever.
It was at this moment that you realized Jaehyun had never stopped loving you too.
“Then, I’ll go wherever she goes.”
#jaehyun#jeong jaehyun#nct#nct 127#jaehyun smut#jaehyun imagines#jaehyun scenarios#jaehyun x reader#jaehyun x you#nct smut#nct imagines#nct scenarios#nct x reader#nct x you#nct 127 smut#nct 127 imagines#nct 127 scenarios#nct 127 x you#nct 127 x reader#kpop imagines#kpop scenarios
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What does this:
Mean in the context of skk, 15, stormbringer, and dazai acting like a lovesick puppy.
Well, the first thing I notice is that it's heavily implied that dazai didn't say shit and hasn't in his entire employment at the ada. Everyone talks about the mafia with a certain level of "hey I heard about you because my mom's dad's aunt's best friend's knitting club was talking about you and one of the members' dog's coparent said they saw you at Walmart."
Between akutagawa, higuchi, and now chuuya, it's like they know nothing that might help them with the mafia.
Why wouldnt yosano know though, she used to be mafia? Well that's what I thought at first too. I figured maybe rumors had just spread throughout the mafia in her time there.
But, at the same time, add up these numbers and then tell me if the math is mathing for yosano to know anything about chuuya
Chuuya is 22 and joined when he was 15, meaning he joined 7 years ago. 14 years ago (11 when she finally escaped) means not only would she not have met him, he would've been 11 by the time she left.
Not only that, but she was an 11 year old child-doctor, which means she would've had no contacts in the Mafia and no friends to tell her anything.
And, most damning of all, in 15 phase.02 mori says this when asked about suribachi city.
By the time chuuya was awakened, yosano was already out.
So maybe it's kyouka. But here's the thing: she doesn't seem to know shit outside of her (old) job description. She was in such an information silo that she didn't know what a crepe was. That makes her out of the picture for me, especially considering she was the subordinate of the subordinate of the boss's subordinate.
So that leaves 2 options: word on the street, and dazai.
If I can get information on the second highest ring of your underground murder organization by asking around, your organization is getting shit on by the feds in 4 seconds flat.
So that leaves one option: dazai.
But he doesn't seem to be much of a sharer, so why would he share about mafia things? Well we have precedent for it.
There's this incident, proving he's totally chill with sharing about the mafia. And then, there's something so gay it will make you want to claw your eyes out and join the witness protection program to get away from how single you feel
I wish someone would look at me the way dazai looks at chuuya's corruption form. And he's even bragging about him and how cool and powerful he is.
Regardless, this proves that he does totally talk about chuuya when he's not listening, and that he's not the inscrutable clamshell of a man he pretends to be.
Now: the other implication. Chuuya just assumes dazai was talking about him, meaning this was a pattern in the past. We can see this pattern manifest in the party that dazai tries to throw in 15, as well as the fact that ango knows chuuya in dead apple.
How many times do you think dazai genuinely set up challenges for chuuya back in his mafia days, to the point where upon being recognized, his first thought is "dazai did this."
Just put a ring on it already guys.
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doodle dump of unreleased aus that r still actively in my Brain Often but i dont post shit about them
⚠️warning for old art and blood and injury drawn and death mentions⚠️
———
magic lily au:
main theme -
summary is that leo is transported to the samurai rabbit universe instead of his family’s arms through a trifecta of his ninpo, mikey’s mystics that begged for him to be safe, and the ki stone sensing a hero in need
when leo lands in the world, he doesnt know any japanese aside from simple phrases he grew up with; “thank you”, “please”, “excuse me”, “help me”, “i love you”, etc
him and yuichi fall in love and he remains there for a few years ! however . theyve all known since the beginning that the ki stone would take leo back once he was healed. she was clear on the fact he was only there to be helped , not to live there . so yuichi and leo hold off the inevitable, despite leo missing his family horribly and knowinf they think hes dead , despite knowing how selfish it was to have one more day with each other , they avoided the ki stone until they go to the temple together and leo is ripped from the world without even a chance to reallt say goodbye to everyone
uhhh etc etc they were their first and last loves as they were both on the aro spec and didnt have a need to find that kinda love again they just . wanted each other and blehhh
i have a playlist for it as well ! my oldest au , started since i got into the fandom
UUAU:
[temp name]
my original usagi/tmnt iteration with miyamoto usagi as the main protag ! i still want to create a comic and really officially send this out so i wont spoil a lot, but !
the basis is that usagi lives in a post apocolyptic solarpunk society and is forcibly sent back in time to a cyberpunk city where the seeds of a war have begun to sprout, dropped in the middle of the highest tensions between three turtles and their eldest brother who is on the enemy side
doomed siblings, doomed toxic yaoi, doomed Everything, its inspired by idw and 2003 so what else is there to expect
only showing the beta design for usagi ! i have a lot of other drawings for this but again, spoilers
historical graves au:
this one is the most recent of the bunch, just putting my version of yuichi for rise into a more usagi yojimbo styled setting ! the story is entirely different from the fanfic and im still working on it But
yuichi is the great grandchild of miyamoto usagi instead of a distant ancestor , so the debt of the shogun’s assassination is that much heavier and Far more dangerous to hold. yuichi and his adoptive little sister, hana, have recently escaped the mass murder and pillaging of their rabbit village (the same one that mariko and kenichi and usagi grew up in) and are on a journey to find their aunt for sanctuary
along the way, they run into a lot of familiar faces, such as the hamato clan , who has karai as their jōnin ! also yuichi gets possessed by jei at some point
hes trans too so he “disguises” himself as a boy to be more hidden as they travel
ive got one more original iteration but theres like . nothing i want to share from it rn lmao
SOOO THATS IT basicallt !!umm if anyone wants to know more about any of these aus id be happy to answer ! u can request doodles of them too !
if u read this far ily and im kissing you
#dj ramblings#rottmnt#tmnt#rottmnt leo#save rottmnt#unpause rise of the tmnt#fanart#dj art#yuichi usagi#rottmnt fanart#samurai rabbit#srtuc#samurai rabbit the usagi chronicles#samurai rabbit fanart#srtuc fanart#usagi yojimbo#tmnt iteration#miyamoto usagi#uy jei#srtuc usagi#cw mentions of death#cw blood#cw injury#leosagi#leosagi au#magic lily au#uuau#historical graves au#graves au
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ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐅𝐀𝐑𝐌𝐇𝐎𝐔𝐒𝐄 | 𝐣𝐮𝐧𝐠𝐤𝐨𝐨𝐤 𝐱 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫
𝐒𝐔𝐌𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐘: every summer on your grandpa's farm was real-life magic to your younger self, who left a piece of her heart in amber valley when the years went on and the town became nothing but a faint childhood memory. soon enough, you become rocked by his death and realize the dead end in your bustling city world. this leads to you making an abrupt decision.
despite knowing nothing but designer purses and the corporate ladder, you uproot your entire life to take over your grandfather's old farm in the town you were desperately trying to remember - alongside a familiar face from your youth that permanently finds his way into your heart.
𝐏𝐀𝐈𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆: jungkook/reader
𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐒. inspired heavily by stardew valley, friends to lovers, childhood friends, cowboy jungkook, small town alternate universe, slice of life, grief, growing up, mutual pining
𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐃 𝐂𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐓. 4.6k
𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐄𝐒. writing fluff has drained me prepare to only feel pain from this point on
part four: the routine, the posters and the dancefloor ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ previous. next. masterlist
ix. the routine
like many residents in the town, the saloon eventually became apart of your regular weekly routine. you found yourself in a booth every weekend, not necessarily to wind down with a drink on each visit, but to enjoy the company of those around you. after hitting the commencement of your mid-twenties, you lacked a ‘third place’ and a community you could lean on.
“can you guys pay attention? this is the call to adventure in the hero’s journey,” yoongi snapped, interrupting a poorly hidden conversation between jungkook and namjoon. the two ceased talking in a way a child caught by their mother would.
similarly, the saloon served its purpose as a third place to your newfound friends. you learned about a book club hosted bimonthly by yoongi, which you were encouraged to observe, in hopes that they would gain a new member. there was a regular karaoke night, which jimin was apparently the reigning champion of, with the highest score seen amongst patrons. then, there were people like taehyung and seokjin, who came regularly to just participate and engage in whatever was going on that night.
hoseok, as the manager of the pub, made every other friday fun with themed nights. tonight was salsa night and apparently, he did not warn yoongi of this, who also did not inform hoseok that book club night was moved.
“i can barely hear you!” jungkook defended himself, hands in the air.
you’d been smiling and nodding the entire time in oblivion yourself, as the rapid dance steps and salsa music drowned out most of your surroundings. at least someone spoke up, you just wanted to be polite in consideration of yoongi’s invite to the club.
to your left, seokjin was dancing with mrs. oh, who was the middle-aged lady that owned the general store where jungkook worked. he originally arrived as a member of the book club, but was swept away by the addicting beat of salsa. he’d spent the last 10 minutes trying to convince the group to join in.
“are you guys done now?” seokjin called out, having watched yoongi shut his book in frustration.
namjoon nudged yoongi. “let’s postpone today’s meeting!”
you laughed as yoongi made a dismissive gesture, which was cue for everyone to disperse from the corner that the club occupied. the others stood up, presumably to either grab a drink or join in on the festivities. meanwhile, namjoon tapped your arm when you rose, indicating for you to wait.
“just wanted to check in to see how the farm’s going,” he began. “you know, our families have been close for years, so you’re basically family, too - even if i wasn’t around much during your time here before.”
you got a sense that namjoon had his head on straight and while grounded, seemed so much bigger than the town. those around you seemed to respect him a lot. his kind attitude showed you why.
“it’s a work in progress,” were the only words you could use. “i’m very lucky that my mom was looking over the property after my grandpa passed and even more lucky that jungkook was also looking after it.”
namjoon’s raised eyebrows as if this was the first time he was hearing about this. “oh, he was? dang.”
it was kind of sweet to think about - jungkook sneaking around to take care of the place out of the goodness of his heart. amidst that, though, it seemed like there was a lot on his plate, so you brought it up to namjoon.
“yeah, he has jiwon and jiwon’s a good kid, but she’s still a kid to look after. of course, no one wanted to see her split up from jungkook and she would have likely been sent out of town to be matched with a foster family,” he sighed.
a few weeks prior, when jungkook first showed up to your front door to fulfill his promise of helping you fix your windows, is when you first began wondering about jungkook’s home life and where jiwon was. you also learned that day about how selfless he really was.
summer vacation was in full swing by that june morning, with the sun beating you to a pulp and the only thing on your mind being corn season. that, and the anticipation of a handsome man expected on your doorstep at any given moment.
your day begun at five a.m, but you made your best efforts to not let that show by ensuring your appearance was kempt prior to your visitor’s arrival. after tending to your morning tasks, you soon received the text that jungkook was at the front, as you were elsewhere on the property. specifically, you were fighting for your life attempting to close the garage shut. yet another repair needed to be addressed.
hey, i’m out back. give me a few.
it took twenty minutes out of your morning to shower and change into clothes that didn’t smell like cow shit because you didn’t want to look like a mess in front of jungkook. all for it to get ruined getting sweaty from putting all of your bodily strength into a broken garage door. there was no way you were going to admit you did all of that - though, you did mentally prepare yourself when you sent your reply to his text.
a few minutes passed and you could make out jungkook approaching you from a distance. you waved, even though you wanted him to stay put and not walk all the way around. the sight of him briefly reminded you of when the two of you used your grandpa’s farmland to play hide and seek, running across the same fields you stood on.
“oh, i should’ve warned you about that,” jungkook started, putting a slight jog into his step as he came closer. “that garage door broke just before your grandpa passed.”
you made an exaggerated, wide-eyed expression. “broken? oh, i was just fighting the door for fun, what do you mean?” you made sure your glare intensfied when he laughed at you. “would have been great to mention before i lost years of my life trying to close this thing.”
“sorry, bunny,” jungkook replied, as he stepped past you carefully and put a hand on your arm as he did so.
he looked up at the door from the inside and smiled thinly. you mimicked his moves, trying to make out at what exactly he was inspecting. you knew farm and you knew finance, but you certainly did not know anything about repairing things.
“how did my grandpa get the tractor out if this door has been broken?”
“crop production lowered in recent years because his body couldn’t handle as much. it was a low priority repair because we used the smaller one parked out by the front shed,” jungkook explained. “honestly, it’s quick fix, just looks like the cable and rollers need to be replaced.”
you shrugged it off and checked the time. “well, this is a problem for another day.”
as you began walking off, jungkook followed you with the same pace. you genuinely did not want to have another to-do item in your sight before you were finished with the rest of the day ahead of you. a list dedicated to repairs was an idea that you’d been toying around with, but you were afraid of how overwhelming it was going to be.
“not to rain on your parade, buuut on my way, i noticed that your coop’s fencing might need to be replaced.”
it was as if he read your mind. you would’ve been frustrated, but the irony was too funny to ignore. you did notice the fencing and it was definitely already on your hypothetical repair list. as a response, you only grunted and moved along.
as you led him back into the house, the two of you made small talk. it was still odd to you, picking up a friendship where you left it off from thirteen years ago. the dynamic seemed to ease up, the more time you spent together, but you had to remind yourself that it was indeed thirteen years since you last saw jungkook and that meant thirteen years of catching up.
“so, are you off work today?” you asked, as jungkook brought in a toolbox from the porch.
jungkook set his tools down by the front shoe rack, rolling up his sleeves slightly. “kinda. i don’t really have a set work schedule, i’ve just been helping out mrs. oh whenever she needs me. i did tell her i would be busy this morning, though.”
you met remembered the oh family from when you were younger and they always gave you and jungkook free ice cream and twenty bucks each when you cleaned their store’s front windows. mr. oh was a high-ranking military general and mrs. oh owned the town general store since taking it over from her mother. their youngest son was born the last year you had visited amber valley as a child.
“their kid is old enough to man the front counter, huh?” you joked.
he chuckled. “yeah. he’s in that weird pre-teen phase, though, acting like he’s cooler than everyone and anything. he used to hang out with jiwon all the time and now his new best friend is his ps5.”
“aw, poor girl.”
“right? too bad, hope he grows out of it. you know,” jungkook paused, glancing at the picture on the wall, “they reminded me of me and you.”
the picture was of you, no older than eight, in faded overalls and the toothiest grin. it was untouched when you moved in and must have been framed sometime after you stopped visiting the town, having not recognized it when you came in. you didn’t have the heart to move it, knowing your grandpa put it up while you were gone.
you weren’t sure what to say. “i hope she’s a better behaved kid than you were,” you remarked teasingly.
“i was an angel compared to you,” jungkook shot back, rolling his eyes. “but, yeah, she’s a great kid. hardly gives me trouble. besides, anything i’ve ever needed help with? my friends, the oh family, mayor kim - i got the best support in the world.”
pride and gratitute were intertwined in jungkook’s voice, as if he watched back the last six years before his very eyes. you couldn’t even imagine what that could have looked like. he was so young, just two months younger than you, and the idea of having the responsibility over a child at your age, much less younger, was unfathomable.
you didn’t want to push the subject of jiwon too much, knowing the circumstances, but you were appreciative of how jungkook allowed himself to open up to you. you leaned on the wall, listening to him talk about his little sister and it was clear he loved her very much.
“you’re lucky to have that kind of community around you,” you said.
“it’s your community, too, now.”
you didn’t realize it, but you soon had spent a good chunk of time talking to jungkook, as he began the process of replacing your windows. there were other things you had to tend to outside, but the conversation flowed so naturally. at some point, you brewed a fresh pot of coffee and handed a mug to jungkook, interrupting his installation of what he explained was exterior stop moulding.
you were nodding your head, listening to him explain his employment situation with the oh family. “that’s real nice of you.” although jungkook had a very flexible schedule, he essentially helped with the operational portion of the store that mr. oh used to cover before he was first deployed overseas.
“thank you for the coffee - anyway, they did so much for me when i first started taking care of jiwon, of course i would lend a hand.” he took the hot cup gratefully, cautiously taking a sip. “mr. oh hasn’t always been overseas, but even when he comes back, it’s just my full-time job at this point. they pay well and mrs. oh watches jiwon when i need it.”
you replied, “if you don’t mind me asking, what were you doing before you worked at the store?”
when you were little, jungkook had always been academically gifted. he loved books and always used to brag about how he got better grades than you did. you always thought he was the type to leave amber valley and find success elsewhere.
“honestly, there wasn’t really a ‘before,’ bunny. it kinda just went from me being in high school to me having to look after my sister. i worked part-time with jimin’s family when i was a teenager, sorting fish bait, if that’s what you mean,” jungkook was trying to be light-hearted, but you felt bad.
he noted your silence and said, “remember when we were kids and we promised to go to the same university when we grew up? and you’d show me the city instead of me showing you the valley?”
“that was the plan,” you sighed. you nearly forgot about that and you could vaguely recall a pinky-swear being attached to that promise. “maybe there’s a universe where that happened.”
in a phone call sometime earlier with your mom, she casually joked that she always thought that you and jungkook were going to get married. she and his mom made that bet when you were kids, mirroring the competitive spirit passed down to the two of you. you tried imagining falling in love with jungkook on campus - study dates in the library and sneaking into each other’s dorm rooms, all while being academic rivals in the lecture hall.
the man in front of you was neither the jungkook in your youthful fantasies or the little boy that collected seashells with you. nostalgia and daydreaming were dangerous things that couldn’t be trusted. just like you, he grew up.
eventually, you declared yourself a distraction and excused yourself from the living room to take care of the rest of your chores. catching up was nice, but you thought it would be better to take it slow. checking in on jungkook every half hour, it was early in the afternoon when he was finished replacing both sets of windows.
the sun was still unforgiving and the humidity was no different. the air conditioning system in your house was mediocre at best and there was a stand fan right where jungkook was working, along with two in the living room. you came in to offer jungkook another water bottle when he excitedly showed you his finished product.
“not bad, huh?” he folded his arms across his chest.
you observed his work and shook your head, impressed. “more than ‘not bad,’ jungkook. the new panels look amazing - thank you so much. i really, really appreciate it.”
it was hard to believe that he installed brand-new windows in such a short time span and the contrast was especially stark, given how old the broken set was. you’d been prepared to pay him for his work, but he warned you earlier that he would “beat you up” if you did so. something about revenge for spending years throwing rocks at him.
he grinned, as he began gathering his tools. you were a bit sad, which confused you until you realized why. however, you decided that this unresolved attraction would best be dealt with on a day where you didn't waste almost two hours talking to the man in question. you still ended up deciding this while staring at the way his tattoos looked against his flexed muscles.
“so, i’ll come by again for the fence?”
“wait, what?” this question snapped you back into reality. the fence? you remembered what jungkook pointed out upon his arrival.
he looked at you, seemingly feigning confusion. “yeah, you said you’d let me fix the fence.”
“no, i didn’t. are you messing with me?” you narrowed your eyes at the way he slowly blinked at you.
“yeah, you said i can come by sometime in the middle of the week.”
there was no way you promised such a thing. “you brat, when did i say that?”
the conversation diverted your attention away from the way jungkook quickly bounced up and was opening the front of your door. he waved you goodbye and that he would text you before you could even process it. you made a beeline from the door, but that man was a damn fast walker.
“have a nice day, y/n!” he yelled from afar and you could hear the laughter jump out in his tone. he knew what he was doing.
from that day on, you continued finding yourself in the whirlwind that was jeon jungkook. it’d been a few weeks and about two days in each week where jungkook has paid you a visit with a different excuse of a repair to “help” you out with. though you knew it was bullshit, the crinkle at the corner of his eyes everytime he greeted you at your front door showed that he knew the same.
there was a silent agreement between the two of you that no one paid attention to when it was just the two of you in the farmhouse. even though you would have refused back and forth had jungkook actually asked if you wanted help, you took anywhere from one hour to a couple just talking to him. one of the times, he insisted he check the condition of your chimney for you. this occasion was more than obvious for the both of you, as you sat on your grandpa’s stiff, old porch bench the entire time and didn’t seem to mind.
the routine of jungkook helping you out on the farm was getting dangerous. when you packed up all of your worldly possessions and abandoned your old life, you promised yourself that this was a new chapter for yourself. there was never a man in the picture or the end goal and the last person you thought it would be was the little boy that you once called your best friend.
on the third day of jungkook’s mission to use your grandpa’s property as a level of house-flipper, you made lunch for the both of you.
“it’s really not a big deal, i ate before i came here.”
jungkook was busy smashing a rail into place with a mallet when you approached. you clutched your cardigans a little closer to yourself, as the wind outside took aback. you looked up and silver clouds muddled in the sky. it was hard to tell because of the lack of sun, but it was nearing two p.m.
“you came here in the morning!” you huffed, tapping your feet.
it was a great deal of confidence in your chest for you to think that no one was more stubborn than you were. as much as you deflected help from jungkook, you were certainly beating his level of persistence. at this point, you would just have to shove food into jungkook’s mouth for you to take it over the top.
he made an exasperated sigh. “bro, i forgot how annoying you can get.” even though jungkook stood firm with “helping” you with repairs, he was no match for your insistence.
“let’s go - chop, chop.” your voice was dry, as you took the hammer from his hand yourself.
you turned to place the hammer back into jungkook’s tool box when you felt the first kiss of a storm on your bare legs. the sky never lied. you tilted your head up to meet the clouds again, but this time, the rain was sharp and doubled, then tripled. you heard jungkook call out your name from behind you.
“this doesn’t look good, let’s go,” he said, taking the denim jacket tied around his waist. the cold sensation lightened on your back and you realized it was because he was holding the jacket between the two of you, with his right arm pulling you to his side and his left arm enveloping your body.
a clap of thunder interrupted your daze. you wondered if amber valley always stormed like this in your childhood or if you only embraced the happy, sunny parts. the town lived in your memories surrounded by dazzling waters and a rainbow, just like everything else did when you were nine.
you tried keeping up with jungkook’s pace, but your legs were failing. “can you slow down?” you panted.
jungkook couldn’t help but snort aloud. “if this was a zombie apocalypse, you’d be dead right now.” when you stomped on his foot with intention, he finally relented and slowed down for you, laughing when he did so.
the chicken coop was on the other end of the property from the farmhouse, so you were struggling for several minutes trying to make it back. the whole time, you and jungkook continued laughing at one another and cracking jokes. it made you momentarily forget your surroundings of a growing storm.
the two of you stumbled onto the back porch, up the steps and nearly fell on top of each other. jungkook tightened his arms around you when he saw that you were about to miss a step and you let out a breathy “thank you” through your giggling. he shook his head and dropped his grip when the two of you made it under the gable roof. you shivered when he did so.
“you didn’t check the weather forecast?” you wheezed, checking to see if your phone was in your pocket.
jungkook defended, “neither did you, genius.”
you two paused for a moment, before bursting out into laughter again and you looked out to see the unrelenting rain. when you looked back, you wondered if jungkook was standing this close to you the entire time. you also wondered if he could tell that you were trying not to look at the way his wet t-shirt clung to his body. daring to meet his eyes, you nearly choked on your own breath when you saw that he was looking at you, too.
his gaze lowered and then he cleared his throat. “well, that’s too bad. i was making good progress,” jungkook also turned to stare at the grey skies and flashes of lightning.
“i guess you can just come tomorrow.”
the statement surprised even yourself when it left your lips. jungkook raised an eyebrow at you, before nodding slowly and the corners of his lips quirked to form that charming, gentleman smile. you couldn’t help but turn around to hide your own smile, instead telling jungkook to stop standing outside like an idiot. the agreement was no longer silent.
x. the posters
around your newfound friends, the dynamic between you and jungkook never changed. it did leave less room for tension, though, and you saw more of the upbeat, heart-of-gold jungkook that he displayed for the rest of the world. despite that, some caught on faster than the others.
“if i knew you guys were going to bicker the entire time, i would’ve just asked someone else. seokjin literally offered. or, actually, i’m pretty sure that even jiwon would have been better than the two of you. doesn’t matter if she can’t reach up that high.”
the day prior, namjoon asked you if you and jungkook wanted to help him put up posters around town for the midsummer fair. it didn’t occur to you to question why he asked you for jungkook’s presence, but you ended up roping him into it anyway. unfortunately for namjoon, the two of you ended up arguing the entire time.
“but, i’m right. aren’t i, namjoon?” you prodded. “jungkook’s idea is horrible!”
jungkook shrugged. “why? it’s eye-catching.”
“there is no way anyone will agree to dressing up as a clown to hand out fliers. we’re going to scare the kids away.”
“tell her otherwise, future mayor kim,” jungkook said to namjoon, who groaned.
the reason why namjoon was tasked with the promotion of the midsummer fair was simply because his father told him to. it was a town event and he was always expected to lend a hand to whatever his dad needed him for. it seemed like every time he had to do something, it was all performed with reluctance.
“oh, god. don’t start, you have no idea what speech my dad gave to me earlier today about ‘being a leader,’” namjoon shook his head.
you furrowed your brows. “oh, are you planning to run for mayor soon?”
“definitely not,” namjoon instantly responded, not an ounce of hesitation in sight. “i have a master’s degree in fine arts, the last thing i want to do is be a politician.” the laugh namjoon gave was hollow.
“what we would all do to not be trapped here,” murmured jungkook and you almost missed it.
your gaze met his and quiet smiles were exchanged. there was an air of comfort grounding the two of you, now that you knew the weight behind those words and jungkook’s sacrifices. you did, however, miss the way namjoon caught this shared smile and turned around, keeping it to himself and letting the moment remain between you two only.
xi. the dancefloor
during salsa night at the saloon, jungkook seemed to be in every corner of the room except yours. it had been a few days since you last saw him, with his latest excuse for the farmhouse being chalking on your silo’s roof. you didn’t even know what that meant, but you stopped arguing the same way he stopped insisting that you didn’t have to make him food. instead, you began texting him about what time he was coming, while he began taking leftovers home, since you always “accidentally” made too much food.
you and namjoon continued to chat when jimin breezed by, plopping down beside you. he was sitting off to the side of the dancefloor the entire time, lazily sipping a beer and talking to hoseok.
“because i would embarrass everyone with my moves,” was jimin’s answer when you asked him why he wasn’t participating.
namjoon chuckled. “he sounds like he’s joking, but he’s an insane dancer.”
“it sounds like you’re good at everything, park jimin,” you teased.
“you know who’s not good at anything?” it seemed like this wasn’t his first beer of the night. “jungkook. he’s horrible at pretending to not look at you. you should go up to him, i think he wants something.”
there was a sense of confusion, but even with jimin under the influence, you also saw the way namjoon leaned back in his seat. it was as if he was relieved that someone other than himself spoke up about it. turning your head, you immediately caught jungkook’s stare, which he retracted like touching fire.
you widened your eyes. “is there something on my face?”
“no, you’re just a woman that he likes that’s wearing a nice dress,” jimin deadpanned.
“you’re a funny drunk, jimin,” you shook your head, chuckling. what he said didn’t even register in your brain.
to your side, namjoon only sighed. he stood up all of a sudden, tugging jimin in the opposite direction. you were confused even more. in a second, jungkook appeared in front of you and your words immediately left your body.
“book club over?” he asked, scanning the room to where the others dispersed off to.
bewildered at the dissolution of the club meeting, you could only shrug. you weren’t sure what even happened. then, you looked up at him and smiled.
you said, “jeon jungkook, you’re not going to embarrass me by asking me to dance, are you?”
“i would never embarrass you. i’m definitely a much better dancer than you, anyway.” jungkook winked and extended his hand, gesturing for you to join him.
without missing a beat, you grabbed his hand and got up from your seat. thankfully, the senior community of the town was loving salsa night and made up most of the crowd. you and jungkook were able to hide your horrible dancing in between the retirees going wild.
𝐓𝐀𝐆 𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓. @sstrongstyletyle @wobblewobble822@taiwan0618 @seokout @firelcrds @xwniazx
#jungkook fanfic#kpop fanfic#bts fanfic#bts scenarios#bts x reader#bts imagine#bts au#bts series#jungkook imagine#bts imagines#jungkook x you#jungkook x reader#jungkook angst#jungkook fluff#jungkook au#jungkook scenarios#jungkook x oc#*** / the farmhouse.
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Husband & dad headcanons
dendro + pyro ver.
english isn’t my first language, sorry for mistakes
characters: al haitham + baizhu + kaveh + tighnari + diluc + thoma
tw: there's a headcanon in which the reader is pregnant, but the rest of it is completely neutral. you can skip that one if you want and imagine something else like adopting.
word count: 1.6k
Al haitham
how does he propose to you?
As much as he 'hates' Kaveh, he would ask him for help with this. And Kaveh being as original as he is would tell him to take you to all the important places you were together and then ask you in the highest area of Sumeru City. You can thank him.
where is the wedding taking place?
I have two options, the small island of Port Ormos or The Palace of Alcazaray. They are too beautiful locations not to use at a moment like this.
where are you going on your honeymoon?
My head tells me he's the kind of guy who wants to spend your entire honeymoon with you in restaurants and at the Liyue library. Take advantage of this and go right when the Lantern Rite Festival is taking place.
children before or after marriage?
Afterwards for sure. He would want to wait to have more time for you and his children, plus have a house just for you and not have to share one with Kaveh.
how many children does he want?
Maybe 2, but quite a few years apart I would venture to say. He would be busy enough to have multiple at the same time. "Let's get some rest for a while, those nine months and the ones we have left are already taken."
how is he during your pregnancy?
He definitely takes you to fancy restaurants and out for walks whenever he can, still being the cool guy and being able to show everyone how happy he is also with his favorite person and his future baby is a yes for him.
any memorable moment with his child?
Returning home after being outside and finding Al haitham with your child sitting on his lap and pointing out the words to him as he softly pronounces them for your baby to repeat after him.
Baizhu
how does he propose to you?
He would ask you to stay in the store during that day while he prepares everything to propose to you. A path with your favorite flowers when you leave the pharmacy and a smiling Baizhu waiting for you.
where is the wedding taking place?
On the outskirts of Qingce Village. I don't know your opinion about the scenery there, but it's beautiful, the area full of bamboo and the high mountain next to it. Any of the sites will do for him.
where are you going on your honeymoon?
Sumeru, I accept no other option. Maybe Spinedragon. But surely he would go to Sumeru with you to enjoy the new greener landscapes and he would learn a lot on the trip.
children before or after marriage?
He wouldn't care, if you have them before then it's fine with him, and if you'd rather wait until you're married Baizhu will be okay with that too.
how many children does he want?
Considering the relationship he has with Qiqi and how he cares for her, treating her like his own daughter, I feel the more the better. He is definitely good with children.
how is he during your pregnancy?
He knows exactly how to react to your every complaint, whether it's pain, emotional or a simple craving you have. He would do checkups on you and the baby from home. "Take a deep breath, I want to see if we can hear the baby's little heart now."
any memorable moment with his child?
He would make the child believe that he is drinking candy or some juice while giving him the medicine and maybe from time to time he would do it with you too. But just until the child would realize it and refuse to take it or tell you that it was medication.
Kaveh
how does he propose to you?
Kaveh would design a building for a 'client' but in reality it's just an excuse to take you there when it's already built and ask you in the most beautiful room, clear water fountains and plants around the vividly colored walls.
where is the wedding taking place?
In Sumeru City it is the first choice. After the wedding he would like to have a small celebration at Lambad's Tavern with his favorite people as a thank you for going to the ceremony and to spend more time with you in your wedding attire. To him you look gorgeous.
where are you going on your honeymoon?
Tell him a place, he will take you there. He will let you choose since he chose the wedding venue. He will be happy to see the different architecture and enjoy spoiling you during the whole trip.
children before or after marriage?
As much as he wants to have children with you, I think he also wants to spend as much time with you as possible, so he would prefer them later. "Can we wait a little longer? I still want us to remain each other's priority."
how many children does he want?
I can imagine him being a father of 2 babies. He would give them both all the love in the world, and they would probably end up spoiled because we already know Kaveh.
how is he during your pregnancy?
You would also be spoiled by him, buying you new clothes every time your belly grew. And of course giving you whatever treats you wanted.
any memorable moment with his child?
He would buy so many clothes when you didn't have the baby in your hands yet. You would end up with clothes that wouldn't even fit on the baby. Your children would be dressed in huge clothes because they saw them in the closet and liked them too much.
Tighnari
how does he propose to you?
I'm sure he'll take you on a walk through the rainforest, showing you plants and bird species you didn't know about and following a different route than the one you normally take so you'll be taken by surprise. I imagine a flower opening and the ring inside.
where is the wedding taking place?
At the Pardis Dhyai. Tighnari likes that place so much that I can't imagine you getting married anywhere else. He is always there when he is not at the villa and the greenhouse is beautiful.
where are you going on your honeymoon?
You may go to the desert for a few days, most likely to the oases to refresh yourselves. Then you would go to another destination, maybe he wants to go back to Mondstadt or take the opportunity of the opening of Inazuma's borders to visit it with you.
children before or after marriage?
My instinct tells me you would have them before. Maybe because I can't picture Tighnari getting married so early, you know how he is, challenging the academy and in the process also the rest of humanity.
how many children does he want?
Sorry about this but according to my google researches I'm forced to say 2 to 5. Army of mini foxes all over your house? Yes.
how is he during your pregnancy?
Home remedies with herbs that he knows will relieve any pain and colic. Mostly super protective of you when he knows that in addition to you he is taking care of your children at the same time. "Are you in pain? Come, let me massage you with this, I promise it will relieve it."
any memorable moment with his child?
He would show them every poisonous plant in the surroundings so they wouldn't go near any of them. I can also imagine him helping the older ones with the bow.
Diluc
how does he propose to you?
He will probably give you little hints for a month until finally proposing marriage, straight and blunt that time. There would be no middle ground, either he asks you after a romantic dinner or he asks you one quiet day when you go to see him at the tavern.
where is the wedding taking place?
At the Dawn Winery for sure. Have you seen how beautiful it is on the outside? I can just imagine a wedding arch between all the vineyards and a big walkway made of wooden planks so you don't stain your wedding clothes.
where are you going on your honeymoon?
Literally anywhere you want, he has enough money left over to even take you to each of the nations for a week and spend more than a month on this trip.
children before or after marriage?
Probably after the wedding, he would want to have everything secured before finally having children with you.
how many children does he want?
Between 1 and 2 the perfect amount for him, 1 better than 2 if you ask him. But if you want a lot I would say 3 is all he can give you (and bear).
how is he during your pregnancy?
He would always keep an eye on you just in case you do something he considers bad for you or the baby. Normally he would give you a lot of freedom but if he feels it like necessary he will entrust one of the maids to take care of you.
any memorable moment with his child?
The day he caught your 3-year-old child about to drink a bottle of wine he had reserved for you and him. You certainly never saw another bottle in some unlocked place again. "Dear, are you finished with that? I'm going to put it back in the cabinet."
Thoma
how does he propose to you?
He would ask Ayaka or Ayato for help, all super planned and probably on some important Inazuma holiday or on some important date in your relationship. At night and with a romantic atmosphere, he would get down on one knee 100%.
where is the wedding taking place?
Thoma is originally from mondstadt so I like to imagine that he would take you there for the ceremony and meet his family.
where are you going on your honeymoon?
Mondstadt, Mondstadt, Mondstadt. He would stay there with you and even introduce you to cousins he didn't even know he had. He would probably take you to see everything, Dragonspine included.
children before or after marriage?
I feel like he would prefer to have them after the wedding but really wouldn't mind if for whatever reason it ends up being before.
how many children does he want?
He would take your opinion very seriously, but have you seen him? I mean, at the very least he would want 3, maximum he doesn't have (my best friend told me that up to 30-).
how is he during your pregnancy?
If he normally does all the household chores, while you are pregnant with his children he won't let you touch even a simple mop. "You're already busy taking care of our baby 24 hours a day, leave the rest to me."
any memorable moment with his child?
The whole family got into the kitchen, your children wearing little chef's hats and aprons while Thoma gave them instructions on how to make 'the best surprise birthday cake for mommy/daddy/term you use'.
#genshin impact#genshin impact fluff#fluff#genshin impact blurb#genshin impact headcanons#genshinimpact#genshin impact x reader#genshin x reader#alhaitham#alhaitham x reader#alhaitham fluff#al haitham#al haitham x reader#al haitham fluff#baizhu#baizhu x reader#baizhu fluff#kaveh#kaveh x reader#kaveh fluff#tighnari#tighnari x reader#tighnari fluff#diluc#diluc x reader#diluc fluff#thoma#thoma x reader#thoma fluff
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Ted grinned as Grayson walked away, his shoulders hunched and his hands balled into fists. He hadn’t bothered laying out the evidence or the proof—both were easy enough to find, connecting Grayson’s disappearances with Nightwing’s appearances was like playing a goddamn match-2 game.
And it was no wonder that Grayson had the highest close rate of the precinct when he could just go and get whatever evidence he wanted. But Ted didn’t care about that. Not anymore.
No, he didn’t care that Detective Richard Grayson was Nightwing. He cared that Richard Grayson-Wayne was Nightwing. Ted was about to become very rich—if Grayson did as he was told.
Ten million. He would give Grayson two days to cough it up, or he’d go straight to Vicki Vale. Or perhaps Arkham, he knew a couple of guards there and surely someone in those cells would pay handsome money to know who Nightwing was under the mask.
Hell, he could even do all three. He held the cards here.
Ted smiled at Grayson’s pinched face.
Ted gave a parting smirk to Grayson as he left for his smoke break. The man had begun ignoring him, as if that would make the deadline go away. He had a little less than twenty hours.
Ted had gone ahead and got a visitor’s pass for Arkham for the day after tomorrow. He’d worry about specifics after he knew whether or not Grayson would come through.
It was cold outside, late afternoon edging into evening. He passed by a couple of other officers as he headed deeper into the alley. He lit the cigarette and took the first puff dreaming about the island vacation he’d be taking.
First class. Gourmet food. Five star resort and margaritas on the beach. Life was about to become much better.
A flicker of movement caught his eye and he turned, unhurried, as the garbage bag ruffled in the shadows, straightening.
Up. And up. And up. Until it resolved itself into a slender figure dressed all in black and most definitely not a garbage bag.
Ted blinked. The Bats usually only came out at night. And that they rarely ever ventured into Bludhaven.
Oh, so Nightwing had decided to take a different option out of his little predicament. It really was a shame—Ted might’ve even left him alone if he’d gotten the money. Now? Now it was fair game. And everyone knew the Bats didn’t kill.
Ted turned away from the figure and back towards the front of the alley—he nearly jumped out of his skin when he saw a figure dressed in black and purple, dangling their legs off the fire escape, grinning down at him.
He picked up his pace a little bit—he’d get back to the precinct and make it very clear to Grayson that his mind games weren’t going to work. The money, or the Joker was going to know exactly where to strike.
Someone stepped in front of the alley, blocking the entrance and Ted slowed his steps before coming to a stop.
Red helmet. Red bat. They didn’t know a whole lot about Gotham’s vigilantes, but the Red Hood was a sore topic for every gang in the city.
Ted slowly, quietly, moved his hand to his gun.
“I wouldn’t do that if I were you,” a voice said behind him, almost breathing on his ear, and Ted shrieked, drawing the gun and twisting around.
He was disarmed before he even knew what was happening, the gun yanked out of his fingers as he was shoved back, hard, sent stumbling back into the dumpster. Above him, the girl in the black-and-purple suit giggled.
“Hood gets a bit testy about guns.” A tall figure in black-and-red, removing the clip, the bullet and tossing each piece in a different direction.
“I don’t get testy,” the Hood rasped, low and rough, “If someone points a gun at me, it’s only fair that I get to point a gun right back.”
“We’re trying to get him to stop using guns so much,” the girl said, sotto voce.
Ted turned back to the mouth of the alleyway. The Red Hood had a tire iron slung over one shoulder.
“What—what do you want? My wallet? My phone? I—I didn’t do anything,” he raised his hands. He would’ve backed away, but the figure in black was giving him the hives and he didn’t want to get any closer to them than necessary.
“Tt. We all know that’s a lie.”
Ted literally did not see where Robin had come from. He’d been staring as the Hood took slow steps forward, he’d blinked, and then suddenly there was a kid in green-and-yellow scowling in front of him.
A kid with a sword.
Ted immediately cast a glance skywards, because where Robin was Batman wasn’t far behind, before the strangeness of the situation settled into him. He was being menaced by a bunch of idiots in masks, in an alley in broad daylight.
“Look, I don’t know what you want but I’m a cop, you can’t just—”
“You know exactly what we want,” the girl said, swinging her feet. The all-black one took a single, menacing step forward.
“You messed with the wrong fucking Bat, asshole.” Hood tilted his helmet to one side.
“If you even dare to touch him—” the katana flashed. “I will remove your hands.”
“Look, Officer Devins,” the one in black-and-red said, “We’re willing to be reasonable. Leave Dick Grayson alone, and nobody has to get hurt.”
Ted was itching to shoot one of them—now he understood why his friends in Gotham were so fed up with their vigilante problem.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he lied baldly, “I didn’t do anything to Grayson. Can I go now?”
#my snippets#outsider pov#someone tries to blackmail nightwing#pity he doesn't know about nightwing's host of protective baby siblings
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ONE PIECE CHAPTER 1113 SPOILERS!!!
It's tagged, it's in bold, if you didn't see it that's on you, but I'm sorry. (I'm also a little sick so sorry for how this starts to turn a little insane at the end.)
The reveal makes perfect sense. I've seen a few people struggle to figure out where it came from, so I'm gonna explain why it makes perfect sense and then pop off with some silly theory.
The first hint at the fact that the One Piece world is sinking exists all the way back in Long Ring Long Island.
That seems like an odd place to start, but it's the first time we're shown how drastic the tides of the ocean in the One Piece world can change. It's enough to separate entire parts of an island, causing it to appear as separate islands, once every year.
This implies that the tides change drastically over the course of much longer periods than it does in the real world.
After that, we get to Water Seven and discover that it's sinking, and that the Aqua Laguna is getting worse every year. We also know that it's caused by the water receding at Long Ring Long island. We're also outright told that they want to make the city float to stop the sinking problem.
We also, much later, see just how high Wano is in altitude.
Knowing that the Redline is so tall that it cannot be passed by any ship, cannot be broken through, and that Mariejois is sat right on top of it only adds to why it makes sense.
The world isn't "sinking," those some islands technically are(Water Seven, modeled after Venice), the tides are going to rise exponentially, and fast.
The force of the water would instantly drown most people, and those who survived would be those who could get to higher altitude islands, the sky islands, Fishman Island, or the Redline.
And because I know someone will try to point this out: land bound plant life can temporarily survive underwater, so Ohara's 5000 year old library tree would be fine for a a bit while submerged. There's lots of places with high tides who's plant life is just fine. (This also could explain why they'd be so willing to throw the books into the water. Not only was it to save them from the fire, but many of them had likely been submerged for long periods of time before. They knew the books would be find in the end because they had record of it. And well, it's mentioned in the chapter that Vegapunk means to finish what Ohara started.)
This would also explain how thorough the government was able to be with wiping out information from the void century. If only a few places can survive, then few things that tell the truth will survive, and even fewer people.
Do I think I'm 100% correct about any of this? Or course not, it's Oda. It's One Piece. Things are pretty much never predicted with 100% accuracy. But that's my thoughts on why it makes sense. Now we get into theory:
I have several points to make, so I'm going to write out the shortest ones first.
-This would, completely unironically, explain some of the centuries long racism campaign against fishman. They have no reason to fear the high tides. They will survive no matter what happens on the surface, and that scares the humans who cannot.
-I think that the extreme tide is a part of why the bridge is being built in Tequila Wolf. I believe the bridges purposes is to connect all the highest points of the world so there's no need for ships to carry them. This way, the Celestial Dragons will still have access to more slaves, produce, and anything they can't get within Mariejois on their own during the time period when everyone drowns.
-and now we get to the big one:
I think that the reason the 20 kings and their people destroyed the ancient kingdom is because the ancient kingdom had a way to survive the high tide while keeping the maximum number of people safe in the process, and while being able to save many more people. They refused to ask for help, and were instead afraid of the power the ancient kingdom held, so they sought to destroy it.
I think that the ancient "weapons" were instead a means of survival, and the reason they were hidden is because the 20 kings would have used them as weapons instead. We don't know much about the ancient kingdom, so much of this is speculation.
I think Pluton was a large enough ship that it could carry the entire kingdom. We've already seen some massive ships in One Piece, and Iceburg intends to turn the entirety of Water Seven into a ship, so the idea of an island sized ship isn't all that odd.
If you continue to think about it, why did none of the Beast Pirates manage to find Pluton while searching for the poneglyph in Wano? I have two theories for this based on the fact that we're told Wano would have to open it's borders in order to get Pluton. If the walls would need to be torn down, then we can continue to assume that Pluton is massive.
Theory one is that Pluton is is hidden within the mountain itself, and that the mountain was man-made to hide the ship. Not only would the walls need to come down, but the mountain itself would have to be destroyed. They would also need a way to survive the high tide without it, so creating a mountain that is high enough in altitude to keep them safe would have been a necessity. I think this is the more believable of the two theories.
Theory Two is that Pluton is Wano. The entire island is the ship, and many of Wano's people descended from the people of the ancient kingdom or those they rescued. This one is much less likely, but it's still a possibility in my mind.
We know that Poseidon was the former mermaid princess, and that the current one is Shirahoshi. She can control the sea kings. Why would this be important? Because if everywhere floods, then the sea kings, who are already very large creatures, suddenly have an influx of room to move, food to eat, and places to lay eggs. It would cause a population spike. *However,* that would cause an ecological disaster within the food chain. The sudden influx of sea kings would be desperate for any food they can get their hands on, and many would likely die of starvation. This means they need some way to repel them from the large ship.
We don't know anything about Uranus yet, so I've nothing for you.
Another thing we know about the ancient kingdom is that they seemed to be friendly with everyone, or at least it's implied via how many friends Joy Boy made.
Fishman: Along with the bonus of having Poseidon, the fishman also have access to the tree resin from Sabaody. Should the ship(Puton) or the ancient kingdom ever need to submerge in order to keep people safe or to have a temporary air bubble, They'd be safe.
Lunarians: The people who originally lived on top of the redline. Sinee the redline is high enough to not sink, it would have made sense for them to be trade partners.
Skypians and Shandians: Another race with wings. if the tides really got too high, then they could join them in the sky sea for a time. They could also trade with them.
Minks: Zunesha was a friend of Joyboy's. We don't know much else about that situation, but it's likely that Zunesha is plenty tall enough to keep the minks from drowning, and they could have traded often as well. Maybe Zunesha was even able to do something similar to the giants.
The Giants: This feels like the most important one to me, and not just because of recent chapters. Obviously the giants think very highly of Nika/Joyboy, but it's also very likely that Elbaf is tall enough to survive the high tide, and if not, the the giants themselves are. If you look at what's known about current giants, some of them are tall enough to walk along the sea floor, and the ancient giants were so large that it's said they pulled and moved continents.
Why is that bit important? Because a ship the size of an entire island would likely need a lot more than sails buoyancy to move quickly. The ancient kingdom was pulled by the giants. They moved to different areas to rescue people and to trade so that life continued while the tide was at it's highest point.
Another random thing that supports this is the giant's vehement hatred towards Charlotte Linlin. She has Totto Land, which is supposed to be a place where all races live in harmony, but it would be a mockery of what the ancient kingdom was like, and for giants, who live about 300 years, that's only a few generations back. They would still have stories about the ancient kingdom and remember the truth.
Again, I don't think anything I predict will ever be 100% accurate, but I hope you enjoyed my rambling nonetheless.
#one piece#one piece chapter 1113#one piece spoilers#one piece theory#nika#joyboy#one piece ancient kingdom#this kinda turned into stream of consciousness at the end#so I hope it makes some sense.#if you read all of it#thank you#I love and appreciate you#drink something eat something and take your meds today
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Burden of Truth (Book 1) Chapter Four
Father Figure! Marc Spector x Teen! Reader
Father Figure! Steven Grant x Teen! Reader
Mother Figure! Layla El-Faouly x Teen! Reader
Chapter Four: In the Discussion
Summary: Harrow tries to get (Y/N) and Steven onto his side. They don't want much to do with him.
Harrow guided Steven and (Y/N) farther into his neighborhood, gesturing around them proudly.
“See, this neighborhood used to have the highest crime rate in all the city,” said Harrow. “There was so much suffering, so much pain…” He waved to the people playing music happily. “Good evening. Good evening, everyone.” He turned back to Steven and (Y/N). “It was truly heartbreaking. Now people don’t lock their doors at night. They feel safe.”
(Y/N) resisted the urge to point out that Harrow had likely judged and killed all those who weren’t part of this “slice of utopia.”
“Oh, Chase, are those the tomatoes?” said Harrow, smiling at a worker. “You have a green thumb. Beautiful. Thank you.” His attention switched back. “But you don’t tell anyone, no. People don’t want to hear good news. They’d rather cling to their fear, their pain.”
“Goat…” said Steven, perplexed as one bleated beside him.
“What? Oh, yes.” Harrow chuckled. “Ah, hello, how are we this evening?” He switched to Mandarin as the girl from before kicked the football to him.
“Still waiting for you to play me,” she replied in Mandarin as he kicked the ball back.
“You all speak Chinese?” said Steven.
“Mandarin,” said (Y/N), truth slipping out.
Harrow smiled. “(Y/N)’s correct. We all aspire to learn three languages.” He glanced at (Y/N). “How many do you speak?”
(Y/N) was silent.
Harrow chuckled. “Come now, it really doesn’t make a difference. It’s not a secret you’re an Avatar.”
“I speak them all,” said (Y/N).
Steven stared at them in surprise, and Harrow nodded. Being the Avatar of the Goddess of Truth had some benefits, and speaking/understanding languages was one.
Harrow guided (Y/N) and Steven into a building where tables of food were set up, a movie was playing, and various people stood around and chatted. It was very warm and comfortable, like a home.
But beneath it, (Y/N) knew every one of these seemingly peaceful people had allowed others to be judged and killed without a second thought. This heaven was nothing but a sham.
“You two hungry?” said Harrow. “The food’s free. Steven, you’re a vegan, right?”
“Yeah…” said Steven, still looking around himself in awe.
“(Y/N), any dietary restrictions?” asked Harrow.
“I don’t want to eat.” Yes, (Y/N) was hungry, but they didn’t want to eat what was prepared here.
“Are you sure? You might want to try the lentil soup. I made it this morning,” said Harrow. “It’s Victor’s recipe.” He gestured to a man on the landing of the stairs on the other side of the room. “Gracias, Victor.” Victor waved back.
“He’s from the Yucatan,” said Harrow. “He’s…No, he’s very funny.” He handed Steven a tray. “Here.” (Y/N) refused to take anything. That didn’t stop Harrow from speaking to them and Steven, though. “I know being on the right side of things is important to you. Khonshu always tries to ensnare those with a strong moral conscience. I don’t have experience with Ma’at, but as she is also supposed to uphold justice, I suspect it is the same.”
“You have no conscience,” said Khonshu’s voice angrily.
“Your sense of right and wrong has been twisted beyond repair,” said Ma’at.
Steven jumped at Khonshu’s voice, and (Y/N) let out a breath. They weren’t used to Ma’at being upset.
“You don’t have to listen to them,” assured Harrow benevolently. “Khonshu often throws temper-tantrums, like a two-year-old. None of the gods respect him.” Steven was handed lentil soup. “What is Ma’at like?”
“She is fair,” said (Y/N).
“Is she? Strange, then, that she took such a young Avatar. It hardly seems fair to you,” remarked Harrow.
(Y/N) frowned.
“Do not listen to him,” said Ma’at.
“Do you not know? Avatars are supposed to be adults,” continued Harrow. “But you must not have met others. Ah, well, it can’t be too bad, of course. She hasn’t been banished, unlike Khonshu.”
“I only punish those who have already done harm,” said Khonshu. “I am real justice!”
“I have done nothing but uphold justice,” said Ma’at.
(Y/N) was left wondering what other Avatars were like. It was clear Khonshu and Ma’at’s choices were…singular. Was there more to being an Avatar that they didn’t know about? Were there rules? Did deities have a culture and rules? (Y/N)’s mind whirled with questions.
“What’s Khonshu saying now? ‘I am real justice?’ ” said Harrow.
“Can you hear him?” asked Steven quietly.
“Not anymore.” Harrow smiled. “Though I suspect (Y/N) can.”
(Y/N) didn’t see a reason to hide what he knew. “I can.”
“Another ‘truth,’ ” chuckled Harrow.
“How do you know what he says, then?” asked Steven.
“I was his former Avatar,” said Harrow. “Before you, I was the fist of vengeance.”
What a title, thought (Y/N).
“That’s the little American man living inside of me,” said Steven quietly.
“And that’s, uh, that’s Marc?” said Harrow carefully.
Steven looked down at his plate and avoided the question. “Soup’s…Yeah, that’s very good. It’s ace. Yeah, it’s lovely.”
“Khonshu punishes those who have already walked an evil path,” said Harrow, looking at Steven intently. “His retribution comes too late.” He looked at (Y/N). “As does any action Ma’at takes. By the time any fist of vengeance or defender of truth arrives, people have already suffered. Ammit knows this too well. She tears up evil from the root, casting her judgement before any evil’s done. That’s why we must resurrect her.”
“Right…but isn’t that a bit dodgy?” said Steven. “Like, trusting the judgement of a weird crocodile lady?”
“You don’t need to doubt her judgement,” said Harrow, smiling. “Ammit will light the path to good by eradicating the choice of evil, which brings us to the scarab.”
(Y/N)’s pocket felt all the heavier. Around the room, people got up and began to circle from different vantage points, ready for a fight.
“That scarab functions as a kind of compass, leading us to Ammit’s tomb,” explained Harrow. His people began to converge. “She’s out there, waiting, longing to be freed. While the cruel masses deserve to face her punishment. And in the wake of their screams, evil eradicated. Steven, (Y/N)…to exist at that moment? Heaven on Earth.” He leaned back. “So, the scarab.”
“Oh, I don’t have it,” said Steven. He wasn’t going to give up (Y/N), a kid, so that was all he said.
“No?” Harrow raised a brow.
“Honestly, I don’t have it,” said Steven.
Harrow looked at (Y/N), and they cursed their inability to lie. Still, they had to say something.
“Marc took it from me in the Alps. I came to Steven’s flat to find it,” said (Y/N). Hopefully, that would be enough for Harrow to not directly ask “do you have it?” At some point, they wouldn’t be able to dance around the answer “yes.”
“Well, maybe you know someone who does?” said Harrow, looking between (Y/N) and Steven. “Maybe Marc hid it and you know where?”
“Don’t you do it.” Marc spoke from Steven’s reflection in the bowl. “Don’t you give it up. He’ll kill you and the kid.”
(Y/N) blinked. They were unused to having people consider their safety. Ma’at couldn’t due to their job, so this was…new. Since their parents, no adults had looked twice at them. Steven and Marc weren’t exactly people (Y/N) knew or could be sure they could trust, but they at least didn’t want to throw (Y/N) to the wolves. That was…nice.
“Just give me the body,” said Marc.
“No, I don’t know who could have it or where,” lied Steven.
Harrow looked at (Y/N).
“Marc hid it somewhere. It wasn’t in the flat when I got there.” Two truths. Marc had hidden the scarab, and Steven had brought the duffel bag into the flat after (Y/N) got there.
“May I speak with Marc?” asked Harrow.
“Um…uh,” Steven shifted uncomfortably.
“Marc, what has Khonshu promised you?” said Harrow. “That this is your last mission? Then you’ll be free?” He looked at Steven. “Trust me when I tell you Khonshu is a liar, as are all the gods.” He glanced pointedly at (Y/N). “There is always one last thing.”
(Y/N) decided to intercede to save Steven from the interrogation. They owed him. “If Ammit judges people before they do anything, isn’t she judging an innocent person?”
Harrow’s eyes flicked to them, and they continued.
“It goes against the idea we have the ability to make choices. It says that there’s only one path for us and we have no self-determination,” said (Y/N). Everyone was staring at them, but now that their thoughts were in the air, they weren’t stopping. “And what counts as ‘evil’ to her? If it’s action, she’s admitting to judging someone for what they might do. But if it’s thought, then that makes no sense, since thoughts becoming actions is what is harmful. The thought in itself could be ignored.”
Harrow sighed. “(Y/N), you’re a child. You may be an Avatar, but you do not understand the scope—”
“Oh, what about children?” said (Y/N), eyes widening. “Would Ammit kill a child for something they might think or do in thirty years?”
Steven’s eyes widened in horror at the idea.
Harrow sighed and collected himself. “I’m glad you mentioned that. Sometimes…the cure is a little taste of the disease. The difference between medicine and poison sometimes is only dosage. Considered a diseased limb. Amputation, horrific and grotesque, is necessary for the overall health.”
“A child isn’t a diseased limb,” said (Y/N). They looked around at everyone. “Is that what everyone here thinks? That killing—a terrible thing—a child is fine because that child might do something bad in the future? You’re just as bad as the child’s hypothetical future.”
Steven nodded emphatically. “Sorry, yeah, but…I kind of draw the line there at child murder.”
Harrow looked away from them in disappointment. Then, he lifted up his cane. “Do you know what this is?”
“Yep, it’s a cane, yeah,” said Steven.
“This is—” Harrow stood and held out the cane “—Ammit’s gift to her first Avatar.”
“Alright…” said Steven.
(Y/N) eyed it warily as it glowed purple. The followers of Ammit took steps back as Harrow held it up.
“It contains in it a tiny sliver of her power,” continued Harrow.
Not good, thought (Y/N). They and Steven stood up from the table and took a careful step back.
“I don’t want to use it,” said Harrow. That was the truth, but that wouldn’t stop him from indeed using it. “I don’t.”
“Then don’t,” said Steven, laughing nervously. He and (Y/N) continued to back away. “We can’t help you.”
“Yes, you can,” said Harrow. “I need to know, where is the scarab?” Steven and (Y/N) were silent. “Where is the scarab?” repeated Harrow, raising the cane towards Steven. “Where is the scarab?”
“No,” said Steven, shaking his head.
“Where’s the scarab?” Harrow lifted the cane.
“Don’t hurt him.” (Y/N) pulled the scarab from their pocket and held it above their head.
All eyes snapped to them, and (Y/N)’s body went hot with anxiety at the attention. They knew this was stupid and risky, but they couldn’t just stand by while someone was threatened. It wasn’t who they were.
Harrow stared at it. “You have no idea the value of what you’re holding.” He held out his hand. “Give it to me.”
(Y/N) shook their head. “I can’t let you release Ammit.”
Harrow sighed. “I’d really prefer to do this the easy way, but I have to make sacrifices for a better world.”
Steven’s eyes widened in alarm, and (Y/N)’s grip on the scarab tightened. They needed a way out.
“There is no deal in this, Marc. Fix this! Fix this!” shouted Khonshu.
“Do not give it to him, (Y/N). Get out of there!” said Ma’at.
“Don’t touch them.”
A woman pushed out of the crowd and stood by Steven and (Y/N)’s side. Layla. She, too, wanted to keep the scarab safe, and seeing Steven (who she still thought was Marc) and (Y/N) threatened was unacceptable.
Layla glanced at Steven. “Summon the suit.”
“Sorry, what?” said Steven.
“Summon the suit,” urged Layla.
Oh, boy, thought (Y/N), still looking around themself warily.
“ ‘Summon the soup?’ What are you saying?” asked Steven.
“The suit. Summon it,” repeated Layla urgently.
“The suit?” said Steven.
Layla groaned. “So be it.”
She grabbed Steven and (Y/N)’s wrists and pulled them after her. A man grabbed for them, but Steven shoved him back.
“Up!” shouted (Y/N), racing towards the stairs with Layla and Steven on their heels.
Harrow sighed. It seemed he’d have to use the cane. He slammed it against the ground. The building shook, and purple light erupted from cracks spiderwebbing through the floor and walls.
(Y/N) paused in front of Victor as he emerged from a side hall, knife in hand. They pushed the scarab into Steven’s hands. It seemed they were going to have to fight.
Fine.
To protect innocents, (Y/N) would.
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HOW SWEET IT IS ┊ MIDORIYA IZUKU
tags: GN reader, strangers to possible lovers, pro hero deku, loneliness, meet cute, valentines day chocolate, fluffy fluff, DEKU I LOVE YOU
wc: 1.4k
You expected other loners and late night finishers. Maybe even the odd husband that had supposedly forgotten that it was Valentine’s Day, despite the city being drenched in pink for weeks leading up to it.
What you hadn’t expected to find by the clearance shelves was the number three hero, Deku.
Though his built frame was imposing by nature the man somehow managed to shrink into himself. He’s all wrapped up, burrowing into his collar, hidden by the fabric pulled over his eyes. You catch the wisps of green stubbornly curling out from beneath the hood, dull in the cheap fluorescent light. You can hardly recognise him. That was likely the point.
Deku is widely known and revered as a symbol of peace. Thus, you are used to the sight of his back; broad and sturdy, standing upright, never yielding under pressure. It’s unsettling to see him now, wilting and shrouded in such palpable loneliness.
The atmosphere is thick with it. Enough that people avoid him, sparing a sympathetic smile as they turn their carts to the opposite aisle. Nobody knows who he is, you realise.
It gives birth to an idea.
“White, milk, or dark?”
You’ve sidled up beside him before you can even consider the consequences. Deku stills, almost as though he were holding his breath. The shadows across his face recede and he turns to look at you, blinking dolefully, spring anew in his eyes.
Chewing the corner of his lip, he casts a cautious glance to his surroundings as if to make sure you were talking to him.
“Ah…” he starts, voice lowered enough that it brings you in closer and the proximity shakes him. “What was that?”
You favour him with a sheepish grin. Doubtful that it would measure up to the bright smile he often wore during his patrols, but you hoped it would at least set him at ease. “Sorry. I was wondering if you preferred white, milk or dark chocolate. Looks like you’ve been trying to decide for a while now”.
Colour seeps into his cheeks. He straightens with a squeak, patting his pants pocket and pulling out his phone to check the time. The bridge of his nose wrinkles. “Guess I have,” he winces.
Deku peers up and meets your gaze. Whatever he sees in your face seems to put his worries to rest. Grimace softening, he scratches at his jaw. You try not to stare at the scars twisting around his hand, or at the stiff, crooked fingers.
A quiet contemplative hum builds in his chest. You perk up as he looks back at the boxes of chocolate lining the shelves, each with a garish yellow discount sticker.
“If I had to pick… I think I prefer milk chocolate”.
“That’s a good choice. Not too sweet and not too bitter,” you push up onto your toes and reach for the highest shelf, feeling the weight of his stare as he tracks your movement.
With a victorious sound, you grab a box. Like most of them it is heart shaped and a rich shade of pink, but this one is mercifully undamaged, and there’s a cute ribbon tied into a bow across the front. Deku blinks curiously and tilts his head in question as you beckon him forward.
“Come with me,” something about the conspiratorial whisper creates a spark. You’re giddy with it, too, ushering him to the self checkout in a comedically clandestine manner.
“O—okay?”
Deku follows; quite precipitous for a hero. You’re left wondering where all that earlier caution went. His presence is at your back— magnetic in the way it draws you in, warmth seeping through his clothes, hovering over your shoulder to watch while you pay for the chocolates. You can see his face in your periphery, fumbling when his lips pout.
None of the other customers bat an eyelid to the number three hero as you exit the store together. You are confronted with the thought that to everyone else here you probably looked like a young couple. Heat gathers in your face, stinging against the cool night air, so much so that you worry steam might hiss out of your ears.
You turn on your heel abruptly. Deku startles and stops in place. The neon sign above the automatic doors blinks from blue to yellow. It deepens the bags under his eyes and reflects in his irises as a breeze nudges the hood back, strands of mossy curls spilling onto his forehead.
You’re a stranger. This situation is weird enough, and it would only make it weirder to tell him that you think he’s handsome with his hair grown out.
Deku waits despite the oddity. Regards you with kindness and patience, wringing his hands across his stomach. Your lips part, but before the name ‘Deku’ can pass, you think better of it.
You take in the slope of his shoulders, how he massages the scars on his wrist, the effort it takes to keep his eyes open. It must be tiring. It must be lonely.
“For you… Midoriya,” you murmur softly, toeing the proverbial line in the sand. Turning the box of chocolates in your palms, you hold it out to him, holding his gaze in hopes he will see your intentions.
You are endeared by the surprise that colours his features. Shock, and then realisation. Deku blushed furiously, brows knitting together as he reaches out to take the gift from you, only to pause before your fingers can brush. Curl, unfurl, he clenched his fist and wrung it out, as though shaking off his anxiety.
“Is this… I can’t accept these,” he tells you. “We don’t know each other—”
Embarrassed, you rush to clarify, “Please don’t misunderstand! I’m not confessing or anything. You don’t know me! I just…”
You smile awkwardly, weight shifting onto each foot. “You looked like you needed some cheering up. And I know Valentine’s Day can be lonely so I thought you could use a little love, maybe?”
The Deku you know best is made of marble. Broad, intimidating stature, carved by the brightest minds in the country, steeped in an air of confidence, a man with an unbreakable spirit.
The Deku before you here is brittle. Your words chip away at him to discover something tender beneath. Quivering, the corners of his mouth pull into a wobbly smile. Pink blooms deeper across his cheeks— with happiness this time, rather than surprise.
His hands are warm as they cover your own and they linger. The scars on his fingers are smoother than expected, gentle too. Your heart beats like a moth's wing when he gives a deliberate squeeze.
“Thank you,” he says, thick with emotion, bringing the box to his chest. UA alumni often joked about Deku’s crybaby tendencies in interviews but you always chalked it up to friendly teasing.
Midoriya inhales sharp and wet through his nose, making you both laugh, unable to look away from one another. He’s brighter now; that rights something in your chest— this is how it should be.
A beat of silence passes. Then, suddenly, your voices overlap.
“I guess I’ll—”
“Before you—!”
Rapping his fingertips to the box, Midoriya ducks his chin to hide his face. You bite your bottom lip and idly running your tongue over the impression of your teeth.
“You first,” you offer apologetically.
He peers up at you through his bangs. The neon sign blinkers again, a brief flash of yellow elongating the shadow of his lashes. “I was just thinking. You know, as thanks for the chocolate, maybe you could join me and we can share them, if you like?”
When you don’t immediately say yes, the hero before you dissolves into muttered ramblings. “Unless you already have plans! I shouldn’t have assumed, I’m sorry. Of course you have plans for Valentine’s Day. I mean, look at you. Wow. I should—”
“Midoriya!” you rest your hands on his shoulders and shake. It silences him, and you swallow dryly as the corded muscles under your palms shift. “I don’t have plans. I would love to sit and eat chocolate with you”.
“That’s… great,” deflating with a long exhale, Midoriya’s eyes crinkle at the corners. You nod, smoothing over his arms in what is intended to be reassurance, instead reminding you of just how big his biceps are.
The spell is broken as the automatic doors slide open and groan on their hinges. Deku turns away from the light to retreat into his hood, and you instinctively move to shield him. Unperturbed, the stranger leaves without even a glance in your direction.
“I guess we should… find somewhere to sit,” you murmur.
Deku voiced his agreement with a quiet hum. “I know a place with a good view,” he says, head tilting to meet your gaze. He grins, “Are you afraid of heights?”
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So Maeglin apparently was handsome af, popular, charismatic, and a close confidant of Turgon during his time in Gondolin. In fact, he was a lord and was close to Turgon's ear so he was heard more than Idril. I just wanna know why the fandom loves to portray him as this kid who was hated by everyone (he was not), whom Turgon hated (didn't Turgon love that kid so much?), and whose love for Idril was seen in a good light (when in fact, he was willing to kill earendil just to get Idril). I was honestly shocked when it was such a popular narrative that he was being abused and hated pretty much by everyone in Gondolin and he didn't mean to cause the fall of Gondolin because he was a poor mew mew when the real poor mew mew was Turgon for listening to him in the first place. Lmao I was just genuinely shocked when it was the other way around. I like his character, he's interesting and complex but it kinda takes away the complexity of his character when he is being woobify but that's just me. What do you think?
Anon, idk if you looked at my blog and could tell I would be receptive to these takes, or if you just happen to keep landing on things I agree with XD
But yeah, I have thoughts on Maeglin's reception by the fandom and it's mostly in agreement with what you said.
With Maeglin, he is sympathetic in a lot of ways, which makes you want to root for him. He did have a difficult childhood--Eol was a shithead spouse so it's not hard to imagine he was not a great father either. Maeglin grew up almost totally isolated from anyone but his mom and dad, who did not have a good relationship, thanks to his dad's abuse. When he and Aredhel make a run for it, we want them to succeed! We want good things for them (we've been rooting for Aredhel since the beginning of the chapter)! When Maeglin witnesses his father kill his mother in an effort to kill him, we want him to find peace and security in Gondolin.
The thing is--Maeglin grows well past his difficult childhood. As you noted, Maeglin does very well for himself in Gondolin. At the end of the chapter Of Maeglin, it is described how he "grew great among the Gondolindrim" and there are various indications he was generally trusted and well-liked.
"Thus all seemed well with the fortunes of Maeglin, who had risen to be mighty among the princes of the Noldor..." ("Of Maeglin," The Silmarillion)
At this point, this is we want for him! We like the idea that he's shrugged off his past, that he's doing well, and that he's not like his creepy bride-abducting father.
We don't get much in Silm about what Maeglin's relationship with Turgon is like, but I talked here about why I can't buy that Turgon neglected or abused Maeglin.
"Then the King listened with wonder to all that Aredhel had to tell; and he looked with liking upon Maeglin his sister-son, seeing in him one worthy to be accounted among the princes of the Noldor.
'I rejoice indeed that Ar-Feiniel has returned to Gondolin,' he said, 'and now more fair again shall my city seem than in the days when I deemed her lost. And Maeglin shall have the highest honor in my realm.'" ("Of Maeglin," The Silmarillion)
The only fly in that pudding is that he and Idril get off to a bad start which never improves. He's into her, she's not into him, but he can't let it go. He lets it fester and generate anger, jealousy, and hatred, and in this way, he's like so many creepy guys who can't take rejection.
"But as the years passed, still Maeglin watched Idril, and waited, and his love turned to darkness in his heart. And he sought the more to have his will in other matters, shirking no toil or burden, if he might thereby have power." ("Of Maeglin," The Silmarillion)
But even so, Maeglin is trusted by Turgon! He's popular! He has his own craft and people who admire and follow his ideas! In almost every way, Maeglin should be happy. But he cannot stop obsessing over Idril, and he lets that spoil everything else that he's achieved, to the point where he's wiling to betray the entire city to possess her.
I think there's also a disconnect between those who've read The Fall of Gondolin and those who haven't, because TFOG expands on a lot of things only really hinted at in Silm proper. For instance, the attempted murder of Earendil (who, it should be noted, is seven years old during the sack of Gondolin). In Silm, we get this:
"Tuor sought to rescue Idril from the sack of the city, but Maeglin had laid hands on her, and on Earendil; and Tuor fought with Maeglin on the walls, and cast him far out..." ("Of Tuor and the Fall of Gondolin," The Silmarillion)
In The Fall of Gondolin, we get a much more detailed account:
"Messengers by great stealth he had dispatched to Melko[r] to set a guard about the outer issue of that Way when the assault was made; but he himself thought now to take Earendil and cast him into the fire beneath the walls, and seizing Idril he would constrain her to guide him to the secrets of the passage, that he might win out of this terror of fire and slaughter and drag her withal along with him to the lands of Melko[r]...
Now then M[a]eglin had Idril by the hair and sought to drag her to the battlements out of cruelty of heart, that she might see the fall of Earendil to the flames...When M[a]eglin saw [Tuor] he would stab Earendil with a short knife he had...the mail of the small coat turned the blade aside; and thereupon Tuor was upon him and his wrath was terrible to see." ("The Original Tale," The Fall of Gondolin)
In TFOG, Maeglin's malice is even more apparent as we get a blow-by-blow account of his effort to force Idril to watch him kill her child and then drag her to Angband, but even looking exclusively at canon Silm, Maeglin clearly swings into the villain path. I don't like to criticize him too much for caving under Melkor's threats, because being threatened with torture by Melkor would be fucking terrifying and I don't think any of us can say for certain how we would respond in that kind of situation. Tolkien even tells us Maeglin wasn't a coward, but Melkor is Melkor. Not everyone can be Hurin "Noted Badass and Snarkmaster" Thalion. What I am happy to criticize him relentlessly on is that he allows Melkor's plan to move forward.
"But Morgoth sent him [Maeglin] back to Gondolin, lest any should suspect the betrayal, and so that Maeglin should aid the assault from within, when the hour came; and he abode in the halls of the King with smiling face and evil heart..." ("Of Tuor and the Fall of Gondolin," The Silmarillion)
He never warns the Gondolindrim of what's coming, and in fact he encourages Turgon to refuse Ulmo's advice and stay in the city (where Melkor expects them to be). In TFOG, when Melkor does invade, Maeglin and his house fight on Melkor's side.
Maeglin fucked up by selling the city out, no argument. But it's more than that--he could have tried to fix it. But he doesn't. Because? Because he doesn't want his treachery revealed, and because Melkor promised him possession of Idril if he helped.
"Great indeed was the joy of Morgoth, and to Maeglin he promised the lordship of Gondolin as his vassal, and the possession of Idril Celebrindal, when the city should be taken; and indeed desire for Idril and hatred for Tuor led Maeglin the easier to his treachery, most infamous in all the histories of the Elder Days." ( "Of Tuor and the Fall of Gondolin," The Silmarillion)
People resist the narrative of Maeglin the villain I think because they are still in phase 1 where we want good things for Maeglin and for him to overcome his past. And he does...but then he chooses his own shitty path and throws away all the things he gained because he can't be content without everything that he wants, which includes Idril. Making all Maeglin's bad choices someone else's fault--Idril's for rejecting his advances, Aredhel or Eol for parenting him wrong, Turgon for not understanding him, Tuor for who knows--means not having to acknowledge Maeglin chose to become the person who betrayed Gondolin and tried to murder his family.
"Then the heart of Idril was turned towards [Tuor], and his to hear; and Maeglin's secret hatred grew ever greater, for he desired above all things to possess her, the only heir to the King of Gondolin." ("Of Tuor and the Fall of Gondolin," The Silmarillion)
Maeglin's story is a tragedy of someone consumed with their own malcontent, someone who had so much opportunity to be happy but chose to perserverate on the things he couldn't have, who became so obsessed with his own desires that he was willing to hurt everyone around him to get what he wanted. Maeglin's story is of a man who could not handle rejection by a woman he wanted, so he decided to ruin her life and kill her family. Maeglin begins the story as someone we are meant to sympathize with--but he doesn't end it that way.
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Genuine question here.
If being Anti-fascist, yet trying to dictate what others can do or vilifying / condoning violence towards people who have different views, is that not a derivative of fascism? Trying to dictate what others say or do because you believe it to be in everyone else’s best interest? Although we are all individuals with our own goals and beliefs.
As it seems you are forcibly trying to oppress the opposition or people with alternative views even if they do not forcibly oppress others but wish to live their life in their own ways. As you believe what you want is in everyone’s best interest but it is almost impossible to be completely neutral and not have some sort of bias due to your own beliefs and upbringing.
Ah yes, the old “anti-fascists = fascists” line of reasoning.
We're going (very generously) assume that you are being genuine and are just this ignorant about fascism and anti-fascism, Anon, because we know a lot of people out there are.
First off: you seem to think fascism = "telling people what to do" or "being violent." That's like saying that fascists often wear pants, so wearing pants = fascist. Yes, fascists are fond of "telling people what to do" and "being violent." So is every other state and governing structure in existence. If that's all that fascism was, then every society with both rules + a way to enforce those rules (which inevitably falls back on violence/"forcible oppression" = "derivative of fascism," rendering the category of fascism meaningless and, quite frankly, insulting the victims of fascism by equating what they suffered with, say, speed limits.
So from jump, you clearly don't have a useful understanding of what fascism is. Not to worry, Anon, a lot of people don't and we can help you with that. Let's start with this poster from the United States Holocaust Memorial Museum:
If reading is your thing, we’d also recommend The Anatomy of Fascism by Columbia University historian Robert O. Paxton; if reading is not your jam this video by Philosophy Tube is a useful starting point for understanding what fascism actually is. If you’re going to espouse your opinions about fascism and anti-fascism, Anon, these learning resources are not optional for you.
Next, let’s talk about violence. If you think the fascists’ take on/use of violence is the same thing as anti-fascists’ take on/use of violence, you’re once again demonstrating a real ignorance on the matter.
For fascists, violence isn’t just a tactic or strategy; it is the tactic/strategy. Fascists consistently and repeatedly glorify, prioritize, and valorize violence as a legitimate and desirable means to accomplish their goals. By contrast, violence employed by anti-fascist is always in defense of ourselves and our communities. Anti-fascist violence is typically employed as a last resort and is typically proportional to the threat being confronted.
A few examples to illustrate:
1) The Proud Boys reserve the highest level/rank within their gang/terror group for those members willing to commit acts of violence.
We defy you to name and provide evidence of an anti-fascist group that does this.
2) The Center for Strategic and International Studies looked at 900 acts of politically motivated violence in the US that resulted in deaths. Here’s what they found when they compared violence committed by antifa, the left in general, Islamic extremists, and the far right:
As you can see, the overwhelming number of deaths from political violence is caused by far-right extremism.
3) Maybe you heard about the “violent” Black Lives Matter protests “burning down our cities” a while back. Researchers at Harvard looked at over 7300 BLM protests and discovered that less than 4% of those protests saw any vandalism or property damage and in less than 3% was anyone injured. In that 3% of protests where someone was injured, as the researchers note, “when there was violence, very often police or counterprotesters were reportedly directing it at the protesters.”
Now let’s talk about your mischaracterization of fascist ideology as a “differing view” or “opinion.” Let’s be absolutely clear that the “viewpoint” or “opinion” of fascists is that people who differ from the fascists in terms of ethnicity/race, religion, language spoken, geographic origin, migration status, gender or sexual identity, or disability should be dehumanized, scapegoated, persecuted, driven from the community, and eliminated, preferably by force.
The viewpoint/opinion of anti-fascists, in contrast, is that people should be allowed to live their lives free of fear of persecution and violence being directed at them because of their ethnicity/race, religion, language spoken, geographic origin, migration status, gender or sexual identity, or disability. The anti-fascist position is captured by the slogan Respect Existence of Expect Resistance. We’d go so far as to argue that the fascist position isn’t even an opinion because (as any first-year philosophy student could tell you) opinions must be defensible; something the fascist position clearly is not.
Look Anon, if fascists were arguing about whether pineapple belongs on pizza or how much tax money libraries should receive, we’d happily debate them on those opinions or viewpoints. But whether or not certain groups of people deserve basic human rights or if they should instead be persecuted, forcibly removed, enslaved, and/or murdered is not a matter up for debate and people trying to spread that ideology must be stopped.
If you think that they should instead be defeating in the free market of ideas through vigorous debate, please consider a couple what Michael J. Dolan succinctly explained; that "when you argue that fascists should be defeated in debate what you're actually suggesting is that vulnerable minorities should have to endlessly argue for their right to exist and that at no point should the debate be considered over and won."
If fascists want to “live their lives in their own ways,” they should fuck off to some part of the planet no one else lives in or holds claim to and do it there (maybe Elon Musk go lead them on a Mars colonization project?); so long as they continue attempt to do it in communities other people live in, they pose a clear threat to those communities and need to be shut down by any means necessary.
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Hii dear friend, It's me again ♥️😊
I had a new idea about our lovely boys from Boku no Hero.
What do you think about stargazing with them? It's kinda sweet,right? With some comfort and cuddles
♥️♥️
I was thinking on Hawks, Bakugou,Dabi and Kiri
♥️♥️♥️ Thank you
MHA Boys X Reader | Stargazing Date ♥️
Warning: Some Spoilers, You're good if you've seen the latest episodes though.
A/N: I know this is probably way too late but I'm trying to balance the new work with the old requests. I hope you like it! <3
Hawks
It is obvious that this guy will know the best location in the town for stargazing.
I can see him going there by himself when he just wants to quiet his mind from all the thoughts of the hero commission or paparazzi or his work.
The place is not accessible to everyone since it is the highest point of a private building so only he or someone who has a flying quirk can get there.
He always thought that he will keep this place his little secret so that when things are bad, he has one place where he can get away from everyone.
NOW he has you. Naturally, he has the urge to show this place off to you. One day you get a random text from him. "I was wondering if your highness would like to go on a date with a peasant like me?" Obviously, you giggled to yourself and said yes. The fact that even now, he always finds new ways to ask you out makes your heart flutter.
He asked you to meet at your balcony at 6. These dates are the best because you know that he'll fly you both to the date with you in his arms which is one of the best feelings knowing that you are completely safe and happy right now, quite literally flying in the clouds and no one can disturb that.
"Oooh Y/N close your eyes CLOSE YOUR EYES," he said excitingly and you obliged when he asked you to open them, it was one of the prettiest sunsets you have ever seen in your entire life.
Even for him, this was pretty and he fly high every day. You both just sat there for a couple of minutes without saying anything and admiring the view.
You both ended up staying there for the entire night stargazing and had dinner on that rooftop.
His arms were wrapped around you the entire time as your creased his forearms with your hands. You both loved doing this. This was your way of saying "I'm here".
Bakugou
Bakugo is not the type of guy to plan anything cute because HE HAD the idea. But that doesn't mean that he won't seek them from somewhere else heh.
He and the gang were hanging out when Kaminari was talking about this girl who he is taking out and he was asking for ideas for a date. Everyone was giving ideas as Katsuki was silently taking notes of them and one that struck him the most was Stargazing.
He had his eye on you and knew how much you loved the sky in general. He thought to himself that when or IF he ever took you out on a date it has to be a stargazing one. And he went ahead making scenarios about your date and ignoring others.
And the time has finally come when he is actually taking you out. He knew JUST what to do. He asked you to meet at the dorm's back gate. He took you to the storage building that was at the back and entered through a secret door that you never knew even existed.
It felt so scary to do this because it was UA's property and was off-limits for students but as soon as you two reached the top all the worry washed away. You could see the entire city. UA was on top of a hill and this building was quite high so that gave you an even better view.
You two just talked for hours and THAT is when you realized that Kutsuki can be very gentle when there aren't things or people to trigger him. The entire time he was smiling and laughing with you.
It might sound mushy but you loved seeing him more than the night sky and the lit-up city. His smile was just so bright, gentle, and genuine because he wasn't someone who would do something for the sake of doing it.
So you knew he was happy when he was smiling, the cutest thing was that out of habit he'd take a sip from his water bottle and would pass it over to you too and make sure that you were hydrated too.
When you two came down the building, he gave you his hand everywhere there was a huge step. He knew you were more than capable of taking care of yourself but still couldn't help it.
"Care to explain?" Kaminari said the next day with a smile as he showed you two a picture of you, sitting with your head on his shoulder and hugging his arm closely.
He didn't tell anyone about your date you figured and laughed wholeheartedly when Katsuki was at Kaminari's throat WHILE AT THE SAME time embarrassed and had a slight blush on his face.
"What have you done to him" Kirishima said laughing as he caught Katsuki's blush too.
Dabi
You both came back from a long mission and wanted to see each other as soon as you can because just being in each other's company was enough for you two to get through the day.
You two were not dating officially because of the uncertain path of life that you both had chosen. You were a rogue hero and he was... well DABI.
You two didn't want to put a label on it but LOVED to spend time together as much as you could. You heard that he was back and he did that too about you. Rooftop was a secret spot for you two since the staircase led only from Dabi's room's balcony. And who'd dare to disturb him?
"Rooftop, whenever you get time." you texted him. You got a reply with a picture of him already there waiting for you.
As you climbed up the stairs you could see him sitting limping and not moving at all. You got worried that he might have hurt himself again but to your relief, it wasn't the case.
As you approached him, busy analyzing if there were any burn marks on his body he hugged you, tightly. This has never happened before. At max, he pats you on your head. But he hugged you and said softly, "Just stay"
You obliged. You two stargazed the entire night and shared your pasts brutally honestly. He told you that he saw Shoto today. He thought that when he will see his brother after so long he MIGHT just feel something. Bits of love would have also been good. But all he felt was hatred.
You were the only one keeping him sane and making him feel SOME feelings.
That explained the hug.
Kiri
Kiri is a HUGE planner let's be honest. He plans most of the things that you two do. It's not like he likes to have control over things, he just loves to do them for you and absolutely loves to see your reactions.
And most of the time they go as planned buuut this time nothing was going as planned.
He decided this time to go for a sunset date to this park that had one of the best views of all with loads of flowers. Since villain activities have been on a rise recently security has been so tight.
So students don't usually get permission to go out. And he somehow convinced Aizawa to sign the pass for you two.
And the only problem was that nothing went as he intended it to and after so many tried to make the best out of it things were not going well.
By the time you two came back to UA his usual high spirits were so low that you felt bad for him. After you two went back to your rooms you decided to do something for him.
With a little help from the gang, you set up a cute setup on the rooftop. By the time he came out of the shower, you were all done.
"Meet me at the rooftop" you texted him and as soon as he saw it, everyone went back to their rooms wishing you the best of luck.
When he saw the cute mat with the candles lit and the leftover food that you two never got to eat from the earlier plans all lay beautifully. You could see how emotional he was all of a sudden when he hugged you so tightly.
"Sorry I ruined our day," he said nuzzling into your neck as he hugged you.
"Kiri how could you even say that! It is the efforts that matter to me my love" you said taking his face in your hands. You could see how drained he was.
You two had dinner there while watching a movie and stargazing the entire night. You both did all that he planned for and... ahem more.
_____________________________
Thanks For Reading and for the ask! Here is BNHA Masterlist <3
If you liked it you can check out the masterlist too!
A-Z Headcanon
#hawks x me#hawks x self insert#hawks x oc#hawks x reader#hawks x you#hawks x gender neutral reader#hawks x male reader#hawks oc#hawks bnha#hawks imagine#hawks fluff#kirishima x reader#kirishima x y/n#kirishima x gender neutral reader#kirishima x you#kiri x you#kiri x reader#kirishima fluff#mha kirishima#bnha kirishima#kirishima#dabi x reader#dabi x y/n#dabi x you#dabi x me#dabi fanfic#dabi fluff#dabi imagine#dabi fanart#dabi bnha
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Am I the only person who doesn’t like Wonder Woman and thinks she is, in fact, a Mary Sue? I haven’t read or watched much with her in it so maybe I’m just basing my opinions on one Wonder Woman book I read where I thought she was written poorly.
But I don’t know. She’s literally everything a modern woman is supposed to be (sexy, strong, righteous, soft, etc.) and she never struggles. She’s always right, she never makes mistakes, and she’s very boring to me as a result. I haven’t seen the recent film, but I dislike the fact that they made her love babies. A lot of pressure is put on women to love babies/children and/or want one of their own, and if a woman doesn’t like or want them then she’s seen as a cold, callous bitch. So to me, that part seems like the writers put it in thinking ‘see she’s not an evil man hating feminist you guys, she loves babies!’
Idk. I know she’s seen as THE role model for women and girls but I just can’t understand her appeal. What exactly do you like about her?
Hello there!
As someone who grew up with a lot of Wonder Woman content, I have to personally disagree!
Like any major superhero, Wonder Woman gets a lot of good content and plenty of bad content, too.
Yes, she's idealized - but almost all superheroes are idealized. Superman is literally a mirror of the philosophical concept of the "Ubermensch," a term coined by Nietzsche meaning "superman" and describing an ideal human being. By this standard, he could also be described as a Mary Sue!
But just being beautiful, powerful, and good does not a Mary Sue make. These idyllic superheroes work well when they're put in circumstances that challenge them. It's fascinating to see characters that seemingly embody the highest reaches of human potential pushed to their limits, when we see that they too have flaws and weaknesses that they can overcome through perseverance.
You say that she "never struggles," but a good Wonder Woman writer knows that she NEEDS to struggle to be interesting. In shows like the animated Justice League and Justice League Unlimited, she and all the other major heroes are put in situations that challenge them on every level - physical (like fighting literal gods) and emotional (being banished from her home for bringing men to the island).
And also funny scenarios that put them at disadvantages, like being turned into children or a pig that then must be chased through the city by Batman (yes, both real episodes) that humanize them and show that they're not invulnerable.
For the more recent, live action movies, I liked the first Wonder Woman but not the second. I personally liked the fact that she was excited to see a baby, especially in the context that there were no babies on her island, because women are often expected to reject feminine characteristics to be strong.
I see your point, but I also have a different view regarding children: I think a lot of the oppression experienced by women is also experienced by children, and children are frequently dehumanized.
Not everyone who says they don't like kids is a bad person - I know plenty of great people who say they don't like kids - but I'm not really comfortable with the concept of disliking an entire group of human beings. Children have such varied personalities, just like any other group.
Granted, most people who say they don't like kids don't mean they dislike ALL kids, but it's still a sentiment I don't really like from a cultural standpoint.
As for women who don't WANT kids, I agree - it's deeply messed up that many people don't see women as complete or fulfilled unless they have kids. But (though it's been a while since I've seen it) I don't recall Wonder Woman in the 2017 movies planning to have children of her own. Plenty of women like children without intending to have them, myself included.
Again, though, I do see your point that the writers may have been trying to soften Wonder Woman in the eyes of the audience by having her love babies.
I still prefer that over the original Joss Whedon script, where a little girl at one point asks her to get a cat down from a tree (I think. Perhaps it was a lost toy) and Wonder Woman callously tells her to get it herself. To me, that plays into a sexist stereotype that women must reject all feminine attributes in order to be strong.
The sequel film, on the other hand, really embodies how NOT to write Wonder Woman in every way: largely exempt from moral criticism, inherently better than those around her, and with few meaningful challenges that aren't solved through plot convenience. She isn't "always right," however, because another flaw in that film's plot is the fact that she's learning a vague and contrived lesson of not cheating to get what she wants, though that's never explored in any way that feels human or applicable.
To conclude, I'll reiterate -- and this is just my opinion -- Wonder Woman is done GREAT when written by someone who understands the appeal of the character. Her idyllic characteristics apply to most superheroes, and can work great if the person writing her knows how to challenge her. I don't mind when she has feminine characteristics, and I love when all superheroes love kids, male and female. And last but not least, Justice League and Justice League unlimited reign supreme in terms of superhero content.
Thank you for giving me the opportunity to ramble and spill my potentially controversial opinions!
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𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐚𝐛𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐮𝐬 - 𝐫𝐮́𝐛𝐞𝐧 𝐝𝐢𝐚𝐬
・𝐫𝐞𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐛𝐲: 𝐚𝐧𝐨𝐧𝐲𝐦𝐨𝐮𝐬
( 𝐒𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐟𝐥𝐮𝐟𝐟 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐫𝐮𝐛𝐞𝐧 𝐦𝐚𝐲𝐛𝐞? 𝐘/𝐧 𝐢𝐬 𝐚 𝐟𝐞𝐦𝐚𝐥𝐞 𝐟𝐨𝐨𝐭𝐛𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐲𝐞𝐫 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐬𝐡𝐞 𝐠𝐞𝐭𝐬 𝐢𝐧𝐣𝐮𝐫𝐞𝐝 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐫𝐮𝐛𝐞𝐧 𝐭𝐚𝐤𝐞𝐬 𝐜𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐜𝐡𝐞𝐞𝐫 𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐮𝐩 )
𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫'𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞: 𝐟𝐥𝐮𝐟𝐟𝐲 𝐫𝐮𝐛𝐞𝐧 𝐢𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐜𝐮𝐭𝐞𝐬𝐭.
To say she was nervous would be an understatement, yes, she had been an integral part of the women's team of Manchester City for three years now yet each time this day comes - she always feels a bundle of nerves settle in her abdomen, this wasn't just any match day, this was the Manchester Derby, and she wanted to be as integral and helpful as she can to the team, and also to perform at her highest ability as her boyfriend of two years, Manchester City's defender Rúben Dias would be in attendance with two of his teammates, John Stones and Kyle Walker, the pair she had met during several joint events.
The atmosphere was intense as she stepped out from the dugout to the roaring of fans who cheered for her, her boyfriend included - as he stood up, clubbing his hands with a proud smile, shouting " You go baby ", the mere sight coupled with the fact that he had worn her jersey was definitely helpful in lessening the nerves she felt.
The match soon began, with everyone sitting at the edge of their seats, chanting for each side to take the lead.
Rúben was definitely nervous for her, he'd seen first hand just how much effort she had put for the Derby especially after the International break, John pats his back. " Relax mate, she's got this "
Kyle nodded, " Yeah, she's on fire "
" I know, but I can't help it " Rúben sighs, " I don't want anything bad to happen "
The first half went goalless which granted the teams enough chance to regroup then step out for the second half which proved even more fruitful than the first half as around the 58th minute, Y/N effortlessly ran through the defense to score what could possibly be the most graceful goal possible to give Manchester City the advantage as the stadium erupted in cheers, Rúben nearly jumped from his seat as he clapped as hard as he can for his girlfriend who was surrounded by her teammates that celebrated her.
However, just as the good times had rolled, the bad times were soon to follow - around the 68th minute, Y/N was aiming for a second goal only to be tackled by one of the opposition team's defenders, the tackle had proved to be violent as Y/N fell on the pitch clutching her leg with a pained expression across her features, Rúben stood up in alert the minute the medical team ran to her for assistance, he looks at John and Kyle who were just as concerned, John practically pushed him. " Go, go .. "
_
Y/N had been taken to the hospital in which after the operation, she'd been told that she will be out of competition for about 6 to 9 months at best, the mere fact had sent her mind into a spiral, how can she really survive these months without playing, yet that was the thing about football, it's always been and always will be unexpected - she'd been nothing short of thankful that Rúben was by her side, he'd even went as far as to move some of her stuff to his home so that he can keep an eye on her at all times after training.
Case in point, tonight after the first month of physiotherapy had passed - Rúben had went above and beyond tonight, the minute she set foot in the house, he picked her up in his arm, starting the night with a relaxing shower in which he'd mostly been the one to clean her up then he helped dress her up much to her dismay.
" I'm not a baby " She grumbled despite complying to him.
He chuckles, " You're my baby, now ... " he picks her up in his arms and steps out of the bedroom to the living room where he placed her on the couch, " I'm going to set the dinner plates while you watch tv ok " he said then pressed a kiss to her forehead.
" Ok " She nods with a smile, " I love you "
He smiles widely, " I love you too princess "
Around fifteen minutes later, he returns with a tray for her, placing it on the table, then he sat down much to her confusion. " Rúbes, where's your dinner plate? "
" I'll eat later, I want to feed you " He said with a soft voice.
" Rúbes, I can feed myself! " She whines.
" I know that, but I want you to rest as much as possible, I'll eat in a bit. Now, open that pretty mouth of yours " He playfully lifts the spoon up to her mouth, " come on, let the airplane land "
She laughs, " You've been waiting your whole life for this huh "
" How else am I supposed to be the best boyfriend if I don't get to take care of my girl? " He smirks.
He spent the next few minutes feeding her until the plate was empty, " See, now that wasn't so hard " he chuckles, lifting the tray in order to take it to the kitchen.
Y/N tilts her body and says, " Rúbes "
" Yes princess " He responds.
" Bring your dinner over here and let me cuddle you, please " She said with a small voice.
He chuckles " I was coming anyway ", he grabs the tray and walks over to the living room, he then sits on the couch close to her to allow her to rest her head on his chest while he used his free hand to eat.
" I love you " She said, " I'm grateful you're taking care of me "
" Always baby " He smiles. " Besides, you've endured me in my hard times and it is my duty to make sure you're ok, I love taking care of you, the same way you'll take care of our babies in the future "
Her eyes softened, " You want to have kids? "
" Of course I do, you're my woman, whether you like it or not. and the future mother of my babies, just think about it " He sighs with a smile, " A boy and a girl, the girl will not be as beautiful as you but also talented in football, the boy will be a heartbreaker like me, also talented in football but if they wish to do other things, we will support them "
" You have it planned it out? " She laughs.
" Since the day I saw you " He kissed the top of her head, " I want to take on the whole world with you "
" I want that as well my love " She smiles, shuffling closer to him.
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Wife, girlfriend or Whatever: Chapter 4
-- HI!!!! Chapter 4 is finally done omg, I’m sorry if this isn’t amazing, I’m not sure how I feel about it but yeah I hope you guys still like it lol, I will get better for part 5 tho, promise.
Thank you so much @Igg5989 for beta reading this, I cannot do this without you.
TW. IF YOU ARE UNDER 18 GTFO, SMUT, p in v sex, oral sex (on both ends)
Previous Part
Taglist: @luckyladycreator2 @feedthemadness-sweetie @ravensmadreads @mslizziesblog @littlebadariell @hotch-meeeeeuppppp @rose-sensuelle @whorunstheworldgirls @auntiegigi
(half of y’all didn’t ask to be tagged but you commented on part 3 so I thought you might like to see the update, sorry if not, feel free to ask me to remove you from the taglist)
“So, future Mrs Simpson, where do you want to go now? Back to the hotel?” Beau asked as soon as you stepped out of the restaurant and back onto the street, where the cold hit your face, flushing your cheeks.
“You promised me some window shopping,” you reminded him, following him down the road.
“Right,” he smiled, “Wouldn’t want to disappoint my new fiancé immediately after proposing.”
“I can’t believe you did that,”
“I told you I would make you pay,” he chuckled, “You can take the ring off, if you want,”
“Yeah, I think I might, wouldn’t want it to stain my finger… Green really isn’t my colour,” you replied, turning the ring around on your finger. It felt strange, now that the fake proposal was over and the embarrassment had been washed away, you almost felt a little sad that it hadn't been a real ring, “On the other hand, how will everyone know I’m engaged?” you joked, trying to deal with your feelings in the only way you knew how, by ignoring them altogether.
“You make a fair point,” he said, “Maybe this will help?” he asked, grabbing your hand in his, interlacing your fingers with his.
“It’s a start,” you replied, turning away from him as you pretended to look at something on the other side of the road, “I think New York is growing on me,” you said, taking in the beautifully decorated shop window.
“Don’t fall in love with it,” Beau warned, “NYC is a whole lot further than Santa Barbara,”
“Have you ever been?” you asked, “Santa Barbara, I mean,”
“Once or twice,” he replied, “It’s nice. The beach is beautiful, water’s warm…” he trailed off, “And eighty-third highest crime rate in California..” he added with a grin
“Says the man from Saint Louis,” you scoffed
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“It’s like, the city with the highest crime rate in the US!”
“I take it you’re not coming for Christmas, then?” he grinned
“I didn’t know it was a serious offer,”
“It depends on your answer,”
“Coward,” you poked him with a finger, “Don’t want me to meet your mama now we’re engaged? Why? Is there someone else? OH MY GOD, are you cheatin’?” you exclaimed, the Texan accent you usually tried to soften now coming through with the excitement.
“Damn it you caught me,” he laughed, letting your hand go for a second. Before you could mourn the loss of contact, he snaked his hand around your waist and pulled you closer. Beau planted a kiss on your cheek, the feeling of it so electrifying that both of you paused for a second. You wondered if the gesture had reminded him of the kiss you had shared earlier that evening. It had made him pause, and while at that moment you had been happy the kiss had had any effect at all, now you wondered if it was because of surprise and not because of what you hoped… that he might return your feelings.
Not that it mattered anyway. If he did, you would still be leaving, and he would still be your boss. HR would still investigate and it would still marr your record. Even if he did like you back, nothing could happen. Or that was what the rational part of your brain was desperately trying to make you understand while every other fibre of your being wanted him to never let go.
“HR,” you murmured, quietly enough that only Beau would hear, although if you had to be honest, while the rational part of your brain was trying to put a stop to it all, you were really hoping he hadn’t heard.
“You’re right,” he said, letting go of you, “Although…” he paused, “They’re not…here, are they…”
“Beau,” you tried to warn him half-heartedly
“All I’m saying is that I wouldn’t tell them, if we were a little less … professional,” he said, “Would you?”
“No,” you breathed, letting your mind wander, wondering what ‘less professional’ could mean. Your heart hoped it meant more hugs, and perhaps a few more kisses, but the heat pooling between your legs was telling you it wanted ‘less professional’ to end between the sheets.
“We’re not doing anything wrong,” he tried to reassure you, “We’re just friends.”
“Right,” you shot him a strained smile, “Just friends,” you added, “Just joking around.”
“Right,” he smiled back. Beau looked at his shoes, something he did whenever a situation got more awkward than he knew how to deal with, and then coughed, “I was thinking Madison Avenue.”
“Sorry?”
“Window shopping. I was thinking of Madison Avenue,” he explained, “We’ll take a cab though, I know you can walk on those, but it’s half an hour away from here on foot.”
You hummed in agreement. Beau hailed a cab, displaying the same efficiency he had at the airport. This cabbie, however, was silent for the entire five minute drive uttering only a quick hello when you climbed in and goodbye when you stepped out of the taxi and onto the avenue. While you imagined Madison Avenue to be somewhat impressive all year round, Christmas and its seasonal decorations had made it breathtaking.
Beau walked you down the avenue, past Chanel and Tiffany’s and eventually past Saks department store, its front covered in impressive fairy lights, attracting everyone’s eye. You stood there admiring it for a while, until Beau tugged at the sleeve of the jacket you were wearing and motioned for you to move.
He smiled at you, “Don’t get decorations like that in California, do we?”
“I’m thinking we were ripped off,” you laugh a little breathlessly, feeling slightly silly that you were so affected by little twinkling lights.
“You’d get used to it,” he shrugged, “After a while it just becomes normal. Look,” he pointed at people passing by without sparing a second glance, “The locals just want to go home, they don’t even look at it anymore. The only people stopping by are parents with curious kids and tourists…”
“That’s sad,”
He shrugged again, “San Diego has plenty of nice decorations, you don’t really notice those, do you?”
“I guess,” you admitted, “Doesn’t make it any less sad, though.”
Beau grinned, “I guess I just have to cheer you up, then,” he said, leading you into a side street on your right. You followed him as he sped up slightly until he veered right again and stepped into the biggest Barnes and Noble you had ever seen.
“We have twenty minutes before they close,” he stated, looking at his watch, “Have fun,” he added, “I’ll be getting myself a coffee.”
You smiled and turned away from him, moving from section to section and row to row until the intercom crackled on and a voice announced five minutes until closing time. Gutted that you hadn’t even gotten to the section you had really wanted to get to and find the book you were dying to buy, you made your way to the café to find Cyclone.
He stood off to the side of the café, leaning against a pillar, waiting for you with a cup of coffee in his hands, “Not getting anything?”
“No time, I’ll swing by tomorrow. I have a nail appointment anyway,”
“Oh nice,” he smiled
“It’s not nearby, but I’d do just about anything for Stephen King, even if that involves braving the metro,” you joked nodding towards the poster advertising the book. An ardent love for Stephen King was another thing your father had passed on to you before his passing, and after his death, his complete collection had been willed to you. Sadly, because your apartment was so small, the fifty seven fiction novels, five non-fictions, several short story anthologies and the seven novels written under a pen name, now rested in a dark and dingy storage unit you rented for an outrageous amount of money from a horribly creepy and outrageously rude little woman with a terribly behaved dog.
That was likely the only thing that really made you look forward to the new apartment, the living room was spacious enough to fill it with the shelves needed to host your Stephen King collection and the rest of your books too.
“So,” Beau said with an amused frown, “Catacombs are creepy, and true crime is terrifying but Stephen King is fine? Remind me what kind of books he writes again?”
“Oh shut up,” you rolled your eyes
“Ooh,” he said, “Crabby. Drink up,” he added, handing you his half finished coffee, “They were closing up and didn't want to make two coffees.”
“Bullshit,” you called out his lie, “you’ve had too much to drink and you forgot my order.”
“Never!” he laughed, “I don’t get drunk.”
“Liar,” you smiled
“I’m barely tipsy,” he replied with a huff, “I can hold my liquor pretty well, princess. I used to be a frat guy, you know?”
“I fail to see what that has to do with anything, I’ve met plenty of frat boys--,” you said, emphasising the ‘boy’, “-- who couldn’t hold their alcohol.”
“I’m not convinced,” you shrugged, “I say you need to prove it to me. How about a few drinks at the hotel bar?” you offered
“Don’t want the night to end yet, babygirl?”
“Not when I’m having this much fun, Adm--” you started, stopping short in front of a shop window. The outside was dark, decorations having been forgotten, the only sign that Christmas was near being a small pine tree by the window topped with a small golden star but the inside was dimly lit by a small desk lamp by the till where a woman sat hunched over a notebook, furiously scribbling things down. Hiding her somewhat, back lit unattractively, was the most beautiful dress you had ever seen.
It looked very similar to Grace Kelly’s dress in Rear Window, a black top with a white embroidered skirt, made to seem full with a generous petticoat and finished off with white elbow gloves and a lovely chiffon scarf. It looked enchanting.
“Everything okay?” Beau asked
“All good,” you grinned, “Pretty dress.”
---
After a long evening walk in freezing New York, you were ready for the warmth of the Edison hotel, although neither of you were keen to go your separate ways. Something had shifted in the air, Beau’s comment about dropping the professionalism had made the air charged with something neither of you could put your finger on.
“How about we have that drink, then?” you offered, reminding him of his claim that he never got drunk. You had drunk enough at the Rivage, but a small part of you wondered, probably aided by the very nice wine, where the evening might lead if you didn’t go back to your individual rooms.
“I don’t know if it’s a good idea,” he said, his words contradicting his body, leading the two of you towards the lift and pressing the button for the rooftop bar. You stumbled onto the top floor with his hand against the small of your back. Beau led you to a small two person table near the edge, where you had the best view of New York. You looked at the view, the twinkling lights of the city that never slept looking more like stars than cars and buildings. You were suddenly shaken out of your reverie by Beau. He tugged your -- his -- coat off and hung it at the back of your chair. You turned around to thank him, finding yourself inches from his body.
"Oh my God, how are you so warm?!" You chuckled as soon as your bare hand accidentally grazed Beau's shoulder. Although the rooftop bar wasn't by any means warm, the covered portion had been heated up sufficiently that keeping coats, gloves and hats on would be a little uncomfortable, but because he'd been walking around in the snow without a coat, you had expected him to be cold to the touch, if not downright frostbitten, "You're like a furnace," you added.
Beau grinned at you, extending his arms out into a T, inviting you in for a hug. You shrugged his coat off and dived in, making yourself comfortable in his embrace without a second thought, "I could live here," you said, voice muffled by his jumper and the skin of his neck. He smelled amazing, whatever aftershave he usually used had been swapped for something nicer and you couldn't deny it was doing things to you. It was musky and masculine, "I'm sorry, that was a weird thing to say," you mumbled.
"It's okay," he replied, wrapping his arms around you a little tighter, trapping you into him for a little longer, not that you wanted to go. You felt Beau bow down his head, hiding his face into the crook of your neck in the same way you were doing to him, and you wondered if he could feel your lips against his neck in the same way you felt his, and if it was eliciting the same thoughts. You tried to push them away but with no success. If you stayed any longer, you were afraid you might start to kiss any inch of exposed skin you could reach. You were dying to run your tongue against his neck, nip at his jawline, and run your hands against his bare flesh, regardless of the fact that you were in the middle of Edison's rooftop bar, surrounded by patrons and staff but you shouldn't. He was your boss, and would be for another few weeks.
"I'd let you," he added, almost in a whisper. You weren't sure you had heard him correctly. Maybe your brain had made words out of the rustle of a coat, or you'd caught the last few words of someone else's conversation. Unwilling to face reality, you burrowed deeper into him and Beau chuckled, the sound of his deep voice crackling through him like thunder in a way that made your stomach flip. You looked up at him through half-lidded eyes, the intention to never act on your all consuming attraction flying out of your mind as soon as you crossed his gaze.
While still gentle, his eyes watched you with a sort of intensity that almost made your legs buckle. The strong arms holding you close to him in the hug moved, one came to rest at the small of your back, pressing you impossibly closer, while the other snaked its way up to your hair, his hand leading your head closer to him as he leant down. Beau kissed you, at first tentatively, almost asking if you really wanted this but he gained confidence when both of your hands moved to his chest, holding the crumbling fabric of his previously crisp shirt and pulling his upper body towards you.
The kiss, which had now grown deep and passionate, had short-circuited your brain and turned it into mush. You had all but forgotten the other patrons of the bar, or the taboo nature of your current actions, the only thing you were aware of right now, was the growing need you felt for him.
He pulled himself off of you, coming up out of breath and flushed.
"It's shit, but if you want a drink, I'm sure we can make coffee in my room," he breathed, using up all of his self control not to dive in for a second kiss. You nodded eagerly, grabbing your bag and his coat so quickly you would have laughed and called yourself pathetic if you had had a clearer mind.
You walked briskly out of the bar, Beau following right behind you. By chance, the lift doors opened and three men walked out right as you approached, letting you step into an empty elevator. As soon as the doors slid shut, Beau pushed you against the wall, caging you in with his arms around you and one knee pinned between your legs. He broke the kiss and you whined. Either he didn't hear you or he didn't care, but Beau didn't react, he simply kissed your cheek, going down to your jaw and then down your neck, peppering searing kisses against your skin, eliciting needy moans.
He nipped at your collarbone and you let out a whiny "Please".
He laughed. Beau opened his mouth to reply but the elevator dinged and the doors slid open. Just in time, he flew off of you, stepping back into the opposite corner as two elderly women walked in. They stood right in the middle, keeping you and Beau separated. He seemed unaffected, hiding his tenting trousers with his coat while his other hand played around with a packet of cigarettes he had gotten out of his coat. He played nonchalance very well, but you were having trouble. Aside from the obvious flush and heavy breathing, you were acutely aware of your ruffled hair and blown out pupils. One good look at you and the two women would know exactly what the issue was. You weren't sure why you were so concerned that they would know, but your hand came up to smooth down your hair anyway.
Under Beau's watchful gaze, which you could feel burning the back of your head with the same needy intensity he had displayed minutes ago, back when you were alone, you fixed your dress. Tugging at the back and smoothing the area over your ass, you then tried to stand casually, very aware of just how wet you were and ashamed that the women might know that too.
"You okay?" Beau asked, appearing behind you very suddenly. You jumped as he spoke, having bent down so he could speak into your ear, his breath feeling hot on the skin of your neck and fanning the flames of your burning desire.
"Bastard," you replied
"Watch your language, Miss," he whispered so only you could hear. The blush covering your cheeks only intensified and you tried to look down, hoping the downwards angle would hide your flush from unwanted spectators. The lift dinged again as it hit another floor and the doors opened to let in three middle aged couples. A strong hand grabbed you around the waist, fingers spreading wide to get a better surface area, and you were backed into Cyclone's warm and inviting chest. He coughed, you could feel it rumbling through his body, it sent shivers down your spine and you felt Beau smirk.
Then, after what seemed like an agonisingly long time, the lift dinged again. You grabbed Beau's hand behind you and practically dragged him out to his room, only stopping short when you realised he had the keys. He let you in but you barely made it past the threshold before you pushed him against the wall and kissed him.
Beau let his hands roam now that you were in the privacy of his hotel room. His fingers grazed over your legs, following the seams of your dress till he seemingly worked up the bravery to find his way under it. After some brief touches, he found the side of your panties and followed the hem around till he got to your ass. All pretence of shyness flew out the window as he grabbed a handful and groaned into your mouth. His hand flew out of your dress, finding the zip in the blink of an eye and undressing you as fast as he could, letting the soft fabric of your dress hit the floor with a gentle thud. Keen to gain the upper hand again, he pushed you off of him and against the opposite wall, caging you in again. He didn’t kiss you, instead, he stood back a little, admiring the underwear set you were wearing. A lacey red three piece set you wore to feel confident, consisting of a bra, crotchless panties and a garter belt holding up your thighs.
“Fuck me,” he chuckled, “Fuck me,” he repeated, breathlessly. His arms fell by his side as he took a step back to get a better look at the ensemble.
“Happily,” you answered, making him look back at you in stunned silence, like, despite having gotten you undressed, he didn’t expect that that would be where the evening was going.
And to be fair, he hadn’t really thought this far. In fact, he didn’t really seem able to think at all, and he was glad you seemed to be able to. Beau looked at you, feeling very much like he had died and gone to heaven, and watched you frown. You grabbed his tie, dragging him closer to you.
“You’re wearing too many clothes, Admiral,” you said in a sultry tone, “How about I fix that?” removing his tie in one swift motion.
Your fingers made quick work of his shirt, unbuttoning it with unparalleled efficiency and then of his trousers, letting the lot fall to the floor right next to your dress. You sank down to your knees and looked up, that simple action eliciting another groan from Beau, which was swiftly cut off when you leant in and ran your lips against the outline of his boxer shorts. His eyes fluttered shut, one hand coming to rest against the wall in front of him in an effort to keep himself upright. He felt your hands bring his underwear down, revealing his length.
You let out a giggle as it accidentally bumped against your lips and Beau looked down, seeing you look up with hungry, blown out pupils and a smile on your face, his rock hard member hiding the centre of your face. You winked at him and moved, wrapping your pretty lips around the tip of his cock and licking the sensitive part of it. Cyclone let out a moan which seemingly spurred you on as you took on more of his cock, til he felt himself hit the back of your throat and your lips wrapped around the base of his dick. You gagged after a moment, tears forming in your eyes and when you came back up, you looked absolutely wrecked.
“Use me,” you whispered, popping him out of your mouth to speak, and Beau seriously wondered if this wasn’t all a dream. His brain didn’t seem to think so, though, because one of his hands automatically moved to grab a handful of your hair. You opened your mouth wide to encourage him, but Beau didn’t need it. Steadying you with his hand, he started fucking himself into your mouth at a leisurely pace, giving you time to adjust to a more comfortable position.
Beau had always thought you were the most beautiful woman in the world, ever since you first stepped in his office, but he had to admit that while you looked gorgeous all made up, there was something to be said for the way you looked right then, with mascara streaking down your cheeks, lipstick smudged, and your lovely manicured fingers holding his thighs as he thrust himself in and out of your mouth at a quickening pace. He was getting closer to his high with every thrust and it took all of his self control not to allow himself to spill his cum inside your mouth.
“Bed,” he said, pulling himself out of your mouth. You pouted but obeyed, jogging over to his king sized bed with an impatient smile. Beau went over to his suitcase, zipping a pocket open and pulling out a condom. You waited for him on the sheets, legs spread open so he could see your aching core.
Moments later, the bed dipped in front of you. He kneeled down between your legs for a second before allowing his fingers to rub against your sensitive nub for a few seconds before travelling down and gathering up some of your slick. He watched it glisten in the yellow light of the hotel room before popping his fingers into his mouth and licking them clean, eliciting a needy moan from you. He then dropped to his elbows, pulling you forward towards his mouth as he threw your legs over his shoulders. Beau gently kissed the sides of your thighs, keeping eye contact with you and smirking when you whimpered and whined. Eventually, after a few more seconds of torture, he parted your lips with his tongue and explored until he found your sensitive nub. Closing his lips around it, he gently suckled, taking care to lick it at the same time until he could feel you getting closer. Your hips bucked in his face, desperate for something more than he was giving you and he smiled against your cunt. Beau held you down with both his hands, determined to have you come on his face and you did moments later with a moan he was certain the neighbours heard.
He let you gently come down from your high before making his way back up your body for a kiss. While all the other ones had been eager and impatient, this one was more passionate and slow, Beau took his time to enjoy how your lips moved against his, how your tongue felt as it battled his for dominance. He lined himself up with you, gently pressing his member into your core. Once inside, he stilled for a moment and then thrust in and out in slow, careful movements. Beau tried to stay concentrated, savouring every noise you made and keen to make this last as long as possible but his orgasm was fast approaching. He lifted himself up til he was kneeling down, his hand travelled to your core, rubbing your clit until he felt you tighten against him, your hand flying to your mouth to muffle the sound of your orgasm. The added pressure sent him over the edge and he spilled his seed into the condom with a loud groan.
Eventually, he pulled out of you. Tying the condom at the base and throwing it out before joining you in the shower, the hot water washing over you as you kissed. You didn’t want the evening to end, but as the clock struck midnight and the day ended with one last Frankie song floating through the open window, you fell asleep, wrapped in Beau’s arms.
He laid awake a little longer, fighting against sleep in order to enjoy the moment a little longer before finally losing his battle and closing his eyes as Frank sang:
"In the wee small hours of the morning
While the whole wide world is fast asleep
You lie awake and think about the girl
And never, ever think of counting sheep"
#fanfic#top gun fanfiction#top gun maverick#top gun x reader#fanfiction#original fic#beau cyclone simpson#cyclone simpson#cyclone smut#cyclone#beau simpson smut#beau simpson#beau simpson x reader
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