thecaffeinebookwarrior
Coffee, Books, and the Blood of My Enemies
Working towards my second MFA degree by twenty-four. An author, illustrator, private tutor, and coffee-drinker.
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Foxglove
(Written by me. Originally published by Literary Times Magazine.)
I didn’t mean to summon the ghost. Okay, I meant to, but I regretted it.
My friend Cyprus knew it was a bad idea from the start. “You talk this way about every girl for two weeks, then you move on to someone else. Just put a curtain over the portrait and forget about it.”
“I can’t. Thinking about her hurts, and just the prospect of not thinking about her hurts more. I dream about her pretty much every night.”
Cyprus closed his eyes. His gold-rimmed glasses made him look like he was from another century.
I leaned across the table, making my eyes big. “You can do it, right?”
“I’ve only recreated the ritual in a classroom setting, and only for animal spirits.”
“You’re a straight-A student.”
“That doesn’t mean I can do it.”
But he could.
Ever since I moved here, the portrait of the actress had smirked down at me like a vixen. She’d died young, in the early 1920s – this house is split into condos now, but it used to all be hers.
After my last breakup, I looked up photos of her. She was most active during the 1910s, when stage actresses had a kind of dreamlike beauty: long tresses of dark hair, and huge, dewy, downturned eyes in the middle of a misty face.
I put the laptop down and went to bed thinking about her. I dreamed about her pressed against me, warm and alive. Since then, I couldn’t stop.
Cyprus showed up with a briefcase and his cat.
“Before I start, you should know I’m not doing this for you.” He put his cat carrier in the center of the room. He drew the sigils around it in chalk. He set up the candles. “I’m doing this because my professor said I could use it as an extra credit assignment.”
“It won’t hurt your cat, right?”
“I would never endanger General Pawshington.”
He had me sit cross-legged on the floor, then drew sigils around me too.
Then he opened his briefcase and took out a yellowed sheet of paper. “I can only say the words and perform the gestures,” he said. “Your yearning has to be strong enough to call her here. And then if she doesn’t want to stay, she can leave.”
“Got it.”
He started to chant, making swift finger motions, and I snickered.
He paused. “You have to think about her, or it won’t work.”
“Sorry.”
This time when he started to chant, I kept my eyes fixed on her portrait. Even when she began to materialize over the cat carrier – out of the corner of my eye, I could make out the shape of a tiny hurricane, twisting into the shape of a woman. I felt like if I looked at her, she’d vanish.
I imagined a relationship with a ghost. A ghost would never change – if they wanted change, they wouldn’t be here. They usually stayed tethered to one place. I imagined coming home to her day after day, her tether to the outside world.
“No,” she screamed. “No!”
I looked over at her. She was as beautiful as her pictures, her black dress fading into gray mist at the skirt. But she didn’t look sad or bemused, like she did in her photos. She looked furious, the whites showing around her pupils, her dainty mouth twisted in rage.
She looked between me and Cyprus. “Why would you do this?”
“I love you,” I blurted, at the exact same time Cyprus said, “Extra credit.”
She screamed so loud the cat hissed and the windows seemed to shake.
“Um,” I said, looking to Cyprus for guidance.
He didn’t look back. Just stared up at her with fascination and regret.
She dematerialized, dissipating into mist that seemed to scatter against the ceiling, maybe through it.
“Was that…supposed to happen?” I asked.
“Some ghosts react badly to being summoned. But if she’s unhappy here, she can return to the afterlife.”
She did not, for whatever reason, return to the afterlife.
It turned out that being haunted was not a fun experience. I thought if I could just tell her about myself, she’d like me as much as I thought I’d like her, but she wasn’t interested in that.
She slammed doors. Chilled rooms. Flung objects. Sobbed in the night.
“Can you please just talk to me?” I pleaded, after being woken up at 3 AM for the third time that week. “I’m sorry! I just wanted to meet you, that’s all!”
You know how when you’re in bed, you sometimes look up at the ceiling fan and picture it falling? Well, that’s what happened next. Fortunately, no bones were broken.
Cyprus’s extra credit assignment became his thesis project. He came back as my neighbor was complaining to me about the new “poltergeist problem,” unaware I was responsible for it.
“And who are you?” the neighbor asked Cyprus. “An exorcist?”
“Close. I’m a student from the Providence College of Necromancy.”
“Great. A student. They always send kids to solve adult problems these days.”
Inside, Cyprus called, “Foxglove!” For some reason, I don’t think I ever thought to address the actress by name. “Foxglove, you have to stop, or they’re going to send an exorcist to get rid of you.”
She materialized out of the air like mist – the first time I’d seen her since we’d initially summoned her. She really was so beautiful, her dark hair floating around her like a dream. “It’s not fair,” she said. “It’s my house.”
“I know,” he said, sadly. Well, sadly for him. He had a catlike way of emoting.
“I remember Heaven in flashes. I don’t think you’re supposed to remember it while you’re on Earth,” she said, sounding frustrated but relieved at having someone to talk to. “I want to go back so badly, but I don’t want to leave my life again. All I can do is yearn for what I had before.”
“Maybe you can tell me about your life,” said Cyprus, not disguising the interest in his voice. “I could write it down, and publish it. And people could read about you.”
Her eyes looked sad, dewy, and hopeful, like they did in the portrait. “I’d like that.”
I felt sidelined, like a third wheel. It bothered me that she forgave his selfishness just because he was open about it – I wanted someone I could love, he wanted an extra credit assignment.
My goal was selfish too, in the context that I’d pulled her away from her life – or afterlife – in the hopes that she’d be a part of mine. But wanting something to love wasn’t supposed to be selfish. And if it was, that was supposed to be forgivable, if only because it was so human.
I’d apologized. He hadn’t. He was open about his self-interest, his fascination with the predicament he’d created. But I could tell that if she forgave one of us, it would be him. If she fell in love with one of us, it would be him.
That night, he stayed over to listen to her talk about her childhood, her poverty, her discovery. About dancing and singing and playing Lady Macbeth, before performances were immortalized on film, when acting was still ephemeral. About the day after she did too much laudanum and drifted under the surface of the tub.
She wanted to pull herself back past the surface, but she couldn’t. She just couldn’t will her limbs to move. “They say that those who take their own lives can’t get to Heaven,” she mused. “I did. But maybe that’s because I really wanted to live.”
Cyprus was listening, his recorder on the table next to him, taking notes. He was interested in every word, wanting to capture as much as possible. His intense curiosity, the Victor Frankenstein in him, was what made him a great student.
“I have some more questions I want to ask, about certain aspects of your life,” he said, switching off his recorder. “Can I come back Thursday night?”
“I’ll be here,” she said. Her dress had turned from black to white, and the mist she emanated had paled.
I could have tried talking to her.
Instead, I called my ex, and told her what happened.
“It’s just like with me, James,” she sighed. “You wanted her till she was a real person.”
It was true. I’d never met a girl I could love more than an idea.
“It’s lonely for me too,” I said.
“I know.”
“Why do you think it’s so hard to love someone right?”
“Because when you do, it becomes something you want to give to them, not something you want to take.” She said it like she’d been thinking about it for a long time, waiting for someone to ask. “I think that’s why we spend most of our lives learning how to do it.”
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New publication alert! Check out my story "Out of This World," published by Defenestration Magazine. About bridezillas, wedding culture, baking, and dreams of space.
A preview here:
Read it in full here!
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The American Association of Liars
New publication alert! Check out my latest published flash fiction, about a compulsive liar and the lies people tell in relationships.
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New publication alert! My flash fiction, "The Woman in the Jar," is featured on page five of the Aureation literary zine.
Tons of great writing and artworks in this issue, and it's tiny enough to read in one sitting.
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I hope everyone had a great Easter!
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Hii! I just want to say thank you so much for the lists of female and male characters to avoid<3 it really helped my writing!
I'm so glad! That makes my day to hear.
Note: I was much younger when I wrote that, and if I wrote it today, I would put way more emphasis on the fact that any of those character archetypes can work if they're written better and more interestingly.
I THINK I alluded to that in the original posts, and I stand by most of the points I made, but now I'm much more focused on improving writing rather than avoiding certain things.
Perhaps I'll make updated versions one of these days!
In the meantime, happy writing!
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Happy Year of the Dragon!
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Tbh I'm at a point where I think everyone should write whatever they want forever and we shouldn't worry about Mary Sues. Who cares, let's have fun in the sandbox
I agree, everyone should write what they want! It is ultimately an act of passion, and everyone has total creative liberty over what they produce.
However, not all writing is intended to be interacted with the same way.
A work of fanfiction or an original story that someone shares for free is different, for example, than a book you have to buy or a film you have to pay to watch. The purpose of reviews for products are not just to support the author, but to guide other prospective readers and viewers about how they'll spend their money and time.
As an author, there's also a difference between a hobbyist and a professional. I'm both! I write for fun, and I've published writing for money. I also have an MFA in Creative Writing.
I would consider it rude if someone offered unsolicited criticism of writing or art I made available for free, but when a paying publisher accepts my stories, I expect them to offer edits to make it as good as it can be for the consumption of the public.
Similarly, if I were in a critique session with my MFA peers, I'd be annoyed if they told me to just have fun without offering any other feedback. As you can see, the context changes whether writing is appropriate to criticize, and whether criticisms should be expected.
Hollywood studios should also be held to an especially high standard, I think, because of the amount of money that is channeled into funding their films, and the amount of money they charge from the public.
Now, about the term Mary Sue.
Many already know that "Mary Sue" is a satirical term, originating in a parody fanfiction from a Star Trek fan magazine, and I don't think it was ever meant to be treated as a serious literary criticism. There's also a male equivalent - the Gary Stu - but it's seldom used, and the term remains disproportionately geared towards female characters.
I don't dislike characters because they're "Mary Sues," I dislike characters because they're poorly written. And I have a pet peeve when a portion of the internet reactively claims a character is well-written simply to defend them from accusations of being a Mary Sue.
Again, this is usually in regards to big budget Hollywood movies or shows, like Captain Marvel, the 2016 Ghostbusters, She-Hulk, or what have you. The criticisms against these movies were often bad, and came from misogynistic viewpoints - but that doesn't mean these movies and shows are good. And I would have been doing myself a disservice if I overlooked their flaws simply because misogynists also didn't like them.
I think Hollywood studios often hide behind superficially strong female characters to shield themselves from criticism, and avoid having to write female characters who are actually original, complex, and interesting.
(Again, this is all just my opinion. Anyone is welcome to like the above properties! I like tons of things that could be considered questionable.)
So, to conclude: yes, everyone deserves to have fun with writing! It is usually inappropriate and rude to offer unsolicited criticism of art that is available for free. But Hollywood films and traditionally published writing that we pay money to access are not the same as free art that's shared only for passion and fun.
And last but not least, calling a character a Mary Sue is usually a stupid criticism, but not every character who is accused of being a Mary Sue is a good character!
Just my thoughts on the matter, which I'm obviously more than eager to babble about for a good half hour.
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I think you have the same issues with Rey as I do with Wonder Woman. :P
(Did you notice how, once Rey became more bland and Kylo’s love interest, people didn’t call her a Mary Sue as much? Really says something about society. Or maybe I’m just misremembering.)
(Also, is it ever okay to like a character who was badly written for any reason?)
Touché!
To clarify, I have the same issues with Wonder Woman when Wonder Woman is badly written! There are plenty of writers who incompetently handle her (case in point, the DCEU sequel, though there are many more).
I do recall that there was a BIG influx of discourse about whether Rey was a "Mary Sue" around the time the Force Awakens came out, and it seemed to be replaced with other discourse in the subsequent movies (mostly regarding her dynamic with Kylo). So I agree you may be on to something there, though I also can't remember that time all that clearly!
And of course! In fact, I'd wager MOST of us like characters who have been badly written. Often this is because characters in a lot of major franchises have a lot of writers (and directors and producers) who vary wildly in their handling of those characters. So characters can have great moments where their appeal is really apparent, and then the rest of the franchise can completely squander it.
Despite my criticism, I actually like Rey and most of the other sequel trilogy characters -- I think they each had a lot of potential at the start, and there are elements of the sequel trilogy that I liked, even though I don't think the writers handled it cohesively as a whole.
I don't know if this makes sense, but I don't blame characters for being badly written. It's the writer who failed to make full use of their potential. And I love seeing fans make use of this potential in their own artworks!
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Am I the only person who doesn’t like Wonder Woman and thinks she is, in fact, a Mary Sue? I haven’t read or watched much with her in it so maybe I’m just basing my opinions on one Wonder Woman book I read where I thought she was written poorly.
But I don’t know. She’s literally everything a modern woman is supposed to be (sexy, strong, righteous, soft, etc.) and she never struggles. She’s always right, she never makes mistakes, and she’s very boring to me as a result. I haven’t seen the recent film, but I dislike the fact that they made her love babies. A lot of pressure is put on women to love babies/children and/or want one of their own, and if a woman doesn’t like or want them then she’s seen as a cold, callous bitch. So to me, that part seems like the writers put it in thinking ‘see she’s not an evil man hating feminist you guys, she loves babies!’
Idk. I know she’s seen as THE role model for women and girls but I just can’t understand her appeal. What exactly do you like about her?
Hello there!
As someone who grew up with a lot of Wonder Woman content, I have to personally disagree!
Like any major superhero, Wonder Woman gets a lot of good content and plenty of bad content, too.
Yes, she's idealized - but almost all superheroes are idealized. Superman is literally a mirror of the philosophical concept of the "Ubermensch," a term coined by Nietzsche meaning "superman" and describing an ideal human being. By this standard, he could also be described as a Mary Sue!
But just being beautiful, powerful, and good does not a Mary Sue make. These idyllic superheroes work well when they're put in circumstances that challenge them. It's fascinating to see characters that seemingly embody the highest reaches of human potential pushed to their limits, when we see that they too have flaws and weaknesses that they can overcome through perseverance.
You say that she "never struggles," but a good Wonder Woman writer knows that she NEEDS to struggle to be interesting. In shows like the animated Justice League and Justice League Unlimited, she and all the other major heroes are put in situations that challenge them on every level - physical (like fighting literal gods) and emotional (being banished from her home for bringing men to the island).
And also funny scenarios that put them at disadvantages, like being turned into children or a pig that then must be chased through the city by Batman (yes, both real episodes) that humanize them and show that they're not invulnerable.
For the more recent, live action movies, I liked the first Wonder Woman but not the second. I personally liked the fact that she was excited to see a baby, especially in the context that there were no babies on her island, because women are often expected to reject feminine characteristics to be strong.
I see your point, but I also have a different view regarding children: I think a lot of the oppression experienced by women is also experienced by children, and children are frequently dehumanized.
Not everyone who says they don't like kids is a bad person - I know plenty of great people who say they don't like kids - but I'm not really comfortable with the concept of disliking an entire group of human beings. Children have such varied personalities, just like any other group.
Granted, most people who say they don't like kids don't mean they dislike ALL kids, but it's still a sentiment I don't really like from a cultural standpoint.
As for women who don't WANT kids, I agree - it's deeply messed up that many people don't see women as complete or fulfilled unless they have kids. But (though it's been a while since I've seen it) I don't recall Wonder Woman in the 2017 movies planning to have children of her own. Plenty of women like children without intending to have them, myself included.
Again, though, I do see your point that the writers may have been trying to soften Wonder Woman in the eyes of the audience by having her love babies.
I still prefer that over the original Joss Whedon script, where a little girl at one point asks her to get a cat down from a tree (I think. Perhaps it was a lost toy) and Wonder Woman callously tells her to get it herself. To me, that plays into a sexist stereotype that women must reject all feminine attributes in order to be strong.
The sequel film, on the other hand, really embodies how NOT to write Wonder Woman in every way: largely exempt from moral criticism, inherently better than those around her, and with few meaningful challenges that aren't solved through plot convenience. She isn't "always right," however, because another flaw in that film's plot is the fact that she's learning a vague and contrived lesson of not cheating to get what she wants, though that's never explored in any way that feels human or applicable.
To conclude, I'll reiterate -- and this is just my opinion -- Wonder Woman is done GREAT when written by someone who understands the appeal of the character. Her idyllic characteristics apply to most superheroes, and can work great if the person writing her knows how to challenge her. I don't mind when she has feminine characteristics, and I love when all superheroes love kids, male and female. And last but not least, Justice League and Justice League unlimited reign supreme in terms of superhero content.
Thank you for giving me the opportunity to ramble and spill my potentially controversial opinions!
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Your list of male stereotypes (The Edward, the Christian, the Sheldon etc) is screenshotted on Pinterest. Congrats!
Thank you! My feelings are a little mixed that something I wrote when I was a teenager is still circulating around the internet, but mostly I'm really flattered and honored.
(Also, yes, this is a really old question. I finally got a chance to go through my inbox!)
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Is there any recourses for writing characters in relationships considered toxic? One of my character’s main struggles is learning that their dad is actually not a good person and that their parents don’t have a healthy relationship.
Basically the dad killed the mom’s previous lover and children to be with her and then baby trapped her, and this is supposed to bite him in the ass hard later because the children end up turning against him after learning that.
I don’t know how to write the mom besides maybe faking some of her emotions towards the dad since she’s not a POV character, but it’s a setting where powers like mind reading are possible.Both the mother and one of the kids have mind reading,so I was thinking about hinting something not being right about the relationship through her thoughts. Im just not sure how someone in that situation would behave.
Hello! Sorry for the delayed response, I finally have the time to go through my inbox and answer some older questions.
I can't really answer regarding this specific scenario, because I don't know enough about the context of the story or characters.
Writing toxic relationships is basically the same as writing any other kind of relationship: it all depends on who the characters are, to themselves and to each other.
Sometimes people do horrible things to each other, and those actions and reactions all depend on the characters pasts and personalities.
Ask yourself who the father is, outside of his dynamic with his daughter or anyone else. Ask yourself, does he think he was somehow justified in what he did? Does he know it was wrong? Or does he lack the conscience to feel guilt for it? Does he love his daughter? Does he think he loves his wife? How does that play into what he did before?
The same with the daughter. Figure out who she is independent of the relationship, and it will help you determine how she'd react to learning about her father's actions.
Obviously, some world-building seems to play into this as well. I'm assuming what the father did is more acceptable in this fictional society, and that this allowed him to socially pressure the mother into entering a relationship with someone who essentially murdered her family. Consider how social norms will also inform the daughter's reaction.
These are just a few thoughts that I hope can still help you out.
Happy writing!
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Also, if you haven’t already, I highly recommend watching Bumblebee! Charlie Watson is such a wonderfully written heroine, mostly I think due to the screenwriter being a woman. Charlie is so realistic, lovable, and relatable and I think there’s a lot writers could learn from her character. Then of course there’s also the giant alien robots, which are of course why the movie was made, but still. ;) I’d love to know what you think of her!
I have indeed seen Bumblebee, and it's great! It's actually my favorite Transformers media that I've seen, and it has a lot of warmth, heart, and character that was lacking in the other films.
A big part of that came from Charlie, the way she was written and performed, and her connection with Bumblebee. To me it really showed that it's the characters that make the media, not just a well-known name.
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Why do you think Kylo hasn’t been called a Mary Sue? I actually see him as a male example of one. He’s also badly written: we never know his motivations, he’s written to be sympathetic even though we firsthand witness him being cruel and remorseless about it, we don’t know why he wants to be evil, every character is forced to be nice to him even after aforementioned cruel acts and a shitty ‘redemption’, etc.
He’s the worst character of the new trilogy. He’s not intriguing, he’s not relatable, he’s not cool, he’s got no charm or pizazz. I know others feel differently but I just can’t stand him at all. What’s your analysis of this?
Thank you!
Hello there! Going to geek out for a bit and share some controversial opinions here.
I think all the flaws in Kylo's writing that you mentioned are 100% valid, though I will also say that I do personally find him to be a better written character than Rey. Why? Because there's an element of narrative tension to Kylo's character that Rey's character lacks.
This isn't a compliment to the writers. It's a byproduct of the fact that they themself didn't know what they were going to do with Kylo, and were waiting to see audience reactions to base their decisions around that.
This is true for a lot of elements of the Star Wars sequel trilogy (and the original trilogy to an extent to, though in lieu of the internet, it all felt a little bit more spontaneous and less...algorithmically generated).
But Rey was always going to stay good, and we, the audience, never doubted that or were given actual reason to suspend disbelief about it (like, yes, the odds of Luke following in Darth Vader's footsteps were also negligible, but the pull of the Dark Side felt way more real and tangible as Vader and Palpatine were tempting him).
I DO think Rey had a lot of potential as a character, and liked her in the first movie especially, but she was just increasingly blandly written. And a lot of that blandness came from a lack of narrative tension. There was no seduction from the Dark Side, no moment where we were really forced to question if we'd give into it in her position.
Now, Kylo had SO many narrative flaws, probably more than Rey. But at least we didn't know whether he was going to rejoin the Light Side, because the writers themselves didn't know. He could be REALLY villainous and unlikeable, but there was also a door left open for redemption - because the writers were waiting to see if that's what audiences wanted.
I can't speak for anyone else, but to me that's personally why Kylo ended up being a more interesting character than Rey, albeit not a particularly well-written one.
As to why he's never called a Mary Sue, obviously there's a big gender element to that - the term is almost exclusively applied to female characters, often by people who don't like women very much.
But I'm going to dip my toe into the waters of controversy here: a lot of producers, directors, and writers try and hide behind "strong" female characters to justify bad, shallow writing. A female character being "strong" won't make her interesting, likeable, or iconic.
Granted, people who don't like women will call ANY powerful female character a Mary Sue (or similar terms) but a well-written female character can usually attract enough adoration to drown those complaints out more.
Like, for example, The Bride from Kill Bill. Jackie Brown. Ellen Ripley from Alien. Katniss Everdeen from Hunger Games. Clarise Starling from Silence of the Lambs. Agent Scully from X Files. Elle Woods from Legally Blonde. Evelyn and Joy from Everything Everywhere All At Once. Princess Leia!
Yes, misogynists are going to hate, say, the most recent incarnation of She-Hulk (who's AMAZING in the comics, I'm so mad about it), but their hatred doesn't make her a well-written character by default. She's simply badly written in the show (in my opinion. Please don't kill me).
And I really, really want more iconic characters, male and female. That's why I demand better writing for both, and won't accept any cheap cop-outs.
Okay, this has turned into sort of a rant that doesn't have much to do with your original question. Forgive me.
Looping back to your original point, I do actually agree with all of your points about the flaws in Kylo's writing! And I hope you don't mind me using it as an opportunity to vent some of my Opinions.
P.S. Please don't jump me Star Wars people, the reason I'm opinionated about it is because I do really love it, especially the original trilogy (and more controversially, the prequel trilogy). Also, you guys make some beautiful fanworks, and really give a lot of these characters the depth and care that they deserve.
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My 2024 Valentines Illustrations
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This one's my favorite
Hourly Comics Day, 2024!
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