#and barely anyone out here is talking about it
Text
Time Traveller Au pt 5
Part 1 is here. Part 2 is here. Part 3 is here. Part 4 is here. AU masterlist is here. Check out my MASTERLIST for more!
This is kinda long so bring your snacks along.
Baldwin and a woman- kissing.
You were in your room right now, fiddling with your time machine now that you had one tool to pry it open. Just 20 minutes ago, you had witnessed Baldwin and some girl kissing, and very swiftly you, turned and left the scene before either of them could notice you. You dont need to meddle in their business- why should you?
Its not like I actually want to stay here and confront him if he really did betray his future wife.
Someone knocked quickly on your door before entering in.
"Y/n!" Baldwin beamed as he ran towards you and picked you up, spinning you around. "Princess! I missed you!" He exclaimed, putting you down and kissing your forehead. Though he still kissed you with the same intensity as ever, you didnt feel the warmth as you usually did.
"Hello." You said monotonously, it was the best you could do to keep your voice stable. Baldwin, still in a daze, cupped your face in his hands and gazed lovingly at you.
"You are a sight for sore eyes." Shut up.
You looked away as Baldwin continued to stare into your soul. "So... how was your trip? Tell me all about it!" He wrapped his arms around your shoulders, pulling you further to him.
"It was fine." You replied, looking at the collar of his shirt. You refuse to look up into his eyes, lest you lose control of your temper. "Just fine? What about your family? Did you find them?" His voice held genuine concern.
You hummed, still not looking up. "I have found some clues, but I will need to go there again to find more."
Baldwin pouted. "Again? No. Being away from you for just 1 week already felt like a lifetime!" Oh I bet. Thats why you couldnt stop yourself from kissing some whor-
"I need to go, Baldwin. Its important for me to find them." You said with the same serious tone, and it didnt go unnoticed by him this time.
He tilted your chin up to meet his eyes. "Are you okay?"
"Of course, why wouldn't I be?" You tried to pull away, but his arms held you firmly. His eyes studied you again, and he wasn't convinced.
"Princess, tell me whats bothering you." You. You are bothering me.
As much as you wanted to say that, you didnt. Cheater or not, he still is the king.
Finally, you gave him a small smile. "I'm sorry, I'm just- tired from the travelling." He sighed in relief, using the back of his hand to caress the side of your face. "Oh, I bet you are darling. Why dont you take a nap now and I'll come fetch you for dinner?"
-
Baldwin threw you a feast on your return. Even though you had no appetite, you still joined him because you cant completely ignore him without raising suspicion. So, for now, you'll bide your time. You'll play the fool.
It just didnt make any sense. Why- why was he trying so hard to be affectionate with you? Why he wanted to marry you when he was interested in someone else? And before anyone says that maybe he's not that into her- um, back in this era, when everyone was conservative, even Baldwin was religious, he wouldn't just kiss any girl out of wedlock unless he was absolutely sure he was going to marry her.
"Y/n?" You looked up from your plate at Sibylla. Baldwin had invited his sister and Guy to celebrate your return. "Tell us, how was Egypt?"
You could feel Baldwin's eyes on you, but you didnt look his way. "It was good. Salauddin was a very good host, he had arranged for me to see the pyramids."
"Ah, how kind of Salauddin. I'll be sure to write him a letter and send him some gifts. What do you think, princess?" Baldwin offered, but you only gave a small hum and barely spared a glance his way before continuing to talk with Sibylla.
"My king, I do not think it would be wise to do that. The Muslims are our enemies-" Guy interjected but Baldwin shot him down with a look. Baldwin didnt even have to glare at Guy to intimidate him.
"I have brought some souvenirs for you. They're in my room- I'll show them to you later." You smiled at Sibylla who beamed back.
Dinner was mostly uneventful, or until dessert was served and Guy began choking on blueberry. "Guy!" Sibylla cried out as her husband began thrashing about from the lack of air. The servants tried to help him, slapping his back and all, but really what could they do.
Serves him right for trying to eat and start a propaganda against Muslims again. But alas, you needed Guy alive if you wanted to bring the downfall of Baldwin and Jerusalem, just as history had it.
So you walked over and pushed everyone away before performing Heimlich manoeuvre. It took a few minutes but the blueberry finally dislodged itself from his wind pipe and out.
"Oh! Guy-!" Sibylla rubbed his back as he coughed while a servant passed him some water. She smiled at you gratefully. "You saved him, Y/n! Thank you! You really are an angel!" Guy finally recovering from his coughing fit, pushed Sibylla's hands away and glared at you.
"She did not save me- I was not dying-!" He argued, but before Baldwin could defend you, you replied nonchalantly.
"I agree. You werent dying. This was just God's way of telling you to shut up sometimes. Hallelujah!" Baldwin had to cover up his laugh as everyone in the room automatically said "Hallelujah", not giving Guy a chance to retaliate.
Baldwin's eyes sparkled with amusement as he found you smirking.
You're a clever one.
-
Baldwin came to fetch you for breakfast the next day. He came to your room last night, just minutes after Sibylla had left, but one of your maids informed him that you had already went to sleep. Slightly odd, as the king would always wish you good night before you slept, but he suppose you were tuckered out from your long journey.
However, he was dumbfounded when he saw all your maids standing outside your room, whispering amongst each other.
"What is going on? Why are you not with the princess?" Baldwin asked, quickly waving them off as they bowed.
"Your majesty, the princess- um she has started her bloody flux."
"Her WHAT?!"
"Her monthly cycle." Oh. Periods. Baldwin sighed. He thought some terrible accident had occurred.
Then again, periods in medieval times were not a good news either. Sure, they did indicate fertility and all, but woman were still shamed about it, especially religiously. Some people believed that cramps and bleeding were a punishment for Eve's original sin. Others even believed that since one is bleeding for such a long time, then that person is "sick" and could transfer this "disease" to those in contact or even near mensturating women. A small minority even thought that this monthly flow was some sort of sorcery or curse that could ruin entire crop fields. Add on to that the lack of sanitary pads/tampons and no ibuprofen, and you get what would be a terrible time for women.
"Please inform the princess that I'm here-"
The maids shared a look. "Your majesty, it is not advisable to be near the princess when she is sick-"
"Inform the princess. Now." The maid's heart almost dropped at his tone, before following his order. Moments later, she returned looking even more nervous than before.
"Y-your majesty, the princess insists that she will see you herself when she is feeling better, for now she would like to rest." Baldwin frowned. Just how unwell were you? Are you- are you really that unwell or do you just not want to see him?
No. You wouldnt avoid him like this. He hasnt done anything wrong.
Baldwin looked at the maids again, who were waiting with bated breath. "Bring herbal medicines for the princess. Ensure the best care for her. Every need must be met." The consequences of not following his order didnt need to be voiced.
-
You returned back to tinkering with your time machine when you heard his retreating steps. Were you on your period? Yes. Were you so sick that you did not want to even look at Baldwin? No, but then again, your cramps hit worse on day 2 and your ibuprofen was burned away with your clothes.
Then again, PMS-ing or "working on your time machine" wasnt the real reason you refused to meet Baldwin. It did contribute to it, but deep down you knew you were still bothered by the fact that he kissed that woman.
You dropped your time machine on the bed exasperatedly. Clearly, you werent going to be able to focus on this as long as you didnt confront your feelings about the kissing. So, you became your own unpaid therapist.
First of all, was it really cheating? It was just a kiss- nope. You shook your head, deciding. It so was cheating! Especially considering the time period and how conservative everyone was.
Alright. Next question- was it intentional? You closed your eyes, trying to come up with excuses. Maybe he was drunk? No. Baldwin never gets that drunk, and even drunk, you highly doubt he's one to go for day time drinking. Perhaps that lady initiated the kiss? Yeah, thats possible. She kissed him, but- your lips pulled into a scowl as you recalled the sight. He didnt push her back for a good few seconds. Of course, you didnt stick around for long to see if he did, but still, Baldwin should've pushed her back. Maybe he had his back turned and she caught him by surprise- you sighed. No way. Baldwin's reflexes were too fast, to the point you think he probably has a sixth sense. He wouldn't have been caught off guard, or even let anyone get this close to him.
You rolled your eyes. Intentional or not, at the end of the day, the fact is that Baldwin didnt immediately push her away and smack her down on the ground.
On to the next query- who the hell was that lady? Because nobody would just go up to the king and kiss him, especially when said king made sure to announce his engagement to the entire world. So, she planned it. Yes, no one would dare to do that unless they knew they could get away with it. So maybe she's someone Baldwin knows. Personally. Maybe a childhood friend? An old bethrothed? Or his favourite whore because Baldwin isnt as innocent as he seems and decided to have a bachelor party while you were away?
And finally, the burning question- why did it bother me who he was locking lips with? You crossed your arms against your chest defensively. Why did it bother me so deeply? Was I jealou- You scoffed. No. Definitely not. Okay, maybe I am a little jealous. And who wouldn't be? Anyone in my shoes would understand. Perhaps I enjoyed his attention, its human nature. Normal psychology... yeah. Even if I wasn't going to return his affections ever, even if I never intended to marry Baldwin, of course I would still expect him to be loyal, He didn't know I was going to leave him! He shouldn't be kissing other women! He should've stayed loyal, stayed true to me, his fiancee!
You exhaled sharply, brows furrowing the more you thought about his betrayal. It was understandable for me to be pissed. Why? Because of Baldwin and his stupid lovey dovey words and his disgusting forehead kisses and his dumb big blue eyes that made me believe him.
And even if he didnt actually love you, you thought that at the very least- he liked you, especially when you had literally saved his fucking life.
Your nostrils flared. "Jerk." You whispered to yourself.
A knock came on your door.
It was one of the maids, bringing in something on a tray.
"His Majesty has sent some herbal medicines for you." You were a little surprised at the gesture, not because Baldwin did it. Ugh. No, you were surprised because in medieval times, people often withheld herbal medicines or anything that would relieve period pain purely because many believed that this pain was the punishment of Eve's original sin for all womankind. So- considering Jerusalem's religous history, you were surprised at the gesture.
"I have also brought in more cloth rags for you. Would you like me to help you change-" "No!" You said abruptly, heat rising to your cheek. Yes, you were using linen rags because you didnt have any pads with you. Of course, earlier you had futuristic gadgets and medicines to deal with this situation, but with all of them burned to ashes, you had no choice.
"Oh. My apologies princess. I thought you'd like some privacy so I excused protocol, but I can have your ladies in waiting come and assist you-" "Please stop talking." You begged. "Its... fine. I can do it myself. Please leave the rags in my cupboard. And um-" You fiddled with your hands, trying to gather the words to voice your next request.
The sweet old lady smiled kindly at you. "Yes, princess?"
You looked down, cheeks flushing. "Can you... get me some more soap? And um, thicker rags?"
"Soap? Oh, I'll have the bath prepared right away-"
"No, not body soap. Soap for... washing my clothes." The maid nodded understandingly. "You can give me your stained clothes, princess. I'll wash them myself."
"Im sorry-" She waved you off. "No worries. I should've asked. Its just- woman here usually dont have heavy flows. I'll arrange more rags. If you dont mind me asking, how long does your flow last?"
"Sev-" You were going to say seven days but then realised the more days you added, the less you'll have to see Baldwin, or anyone else really and that will buy you more time to work on your machine. "Ten, sometimes twelve days."
The kind lady's eyes bulged a little. "I-! My apologies, princess! I- I was just caught off guard. Its um- well, its just girls here get shorter flows. The longest I heard was 5 days." Of course, in medieval times, menstrual cycles were shorter due to poor diet and more frequent child bearing.
"10 to 12 days... princess, I apologise for asking this, but have you considered that you might be bleeding excessively because of a disease? Shall I fetch a physician?" She asked with concern.
You shook your head. "No. I have always gotten them this long and I had myself checked by a physician. She said its normal, especially where I'm from." The maid nodded, satisfied that you're not bleeding to death.
-
Baldwin was in his study, working on some official documents when your maid knocked on his door.
"Your Majesty." She bowed gracefully as Baldwin smiled at her, standing from his seat to walk up to her, embracing her in a warm hug.
"Lady Margaret, how are you?" Lady Margaret used to be his royal nanny for a long while and took care of him even when he had contracted leprosy. She was practically a mother figure to him, especially when his own mother died. When Baldwin became engaged to you, he had asked her to be your senior lady in waiting, which will be her official title once you are wed to him. For now, she is your head maid. Baldwin trusted her the most with you. She had a comforting presence, and he was sure that while she took care of you, you would also find comfort in her the same way he used to.
"I'm good, your majesty." She smiled softly. "I just served the princess lunch."
"Hm, and how is the princess now?" The concern in his voice warmed her heart.
"The princess is well now. She's resting at the moment, though I feel a little concerned."
His heart skipped a beat. "Why?"
"Princess Y/n told me about her cycle time." She paused, choosing her words carefully. "It seems that she will suffer through this- diseased period longer than most others."
"How long?"
"Ten or twelve days." His eyes went saucer wide. From what he's heard, the normal duration is often 2 or 3 days, maybe 5 for some. But this?
"Summon the physici-" "I offered, your majesty. But she insists that she already had herself checked and that this is her normal cycle." Lady Margaret informed him, before continuing on to ease his worries. "She seems very knowledgeable about her body, and she is handling it pretty well for now."
"For now?" She nodded. "Of course, only time can tell if the pain increases in its intensity. All we can do is offer our help and pray that this bloody flux passes smoothly and swiftly."
Baldwin pondered over her words for a moment, his brows still furrowed slightly before he finally spoke again. "Please summon the royal physician. I would like to talk to him." He ordered before leaving his study to go to the royal library.
-
The next day, as expected your cramps hit. You had no plans to move an inch today, tossing and turning as you clutched your abdomen, eyes screwed shut in pain.
Somebody knocked on your door. Its likely one of the maids, probably to bring you food or something.
"What?" You called out, pulling the covers over your head. You're in no mood to interact with anyone. You heard the door open and footsteps entering. You exhaled, barely suppressing the painful groan. "Please can you go right now and get me some of the herbal medicines you had given me yesterday- and no, no food. I'm too nauseous."
You heard the person clear their throat, making you frown. Why haven't they left? Oh, please this better be not some "royal protocol" shit where they withhold the drugs from you.
You whipped the blanket off you, eyes still closed as you raged off. "Unless you want me to continue to feel like I have a iron poker stuck up in my spine while my soul leaves me from my feet, you will get me those herb-" you stopped as you opened your eyes to see-
"Baldwin?" He stood there with worry spread across his face.
"Is it... really that bad?" He asks in a low volume, as if afraid that noise would hurt you. In his hands, he held a tray that had a bowl. Walking up to your side, he set the tray on your side table, and thats when you saw the bowl of soup on it.
"Why are you- you're not supposed to be in here." You informed him. "I'm sick-"
"I know." Baldwin began sitting down on your bed, making you scoot back to give him space. He scanned your face briefly, making note of the tired eyes. He raised his hand to touch your forhead, but you turned your face away, making him halt. Why... were you avoiding his touch?
"Princess?" He called you, but you didnt turn to look at him opting to answer by keeping your eyes fixed on your fingers fiddling with the covers. "I'm not well- you shouldnt be near me, or you'll risk getting sick-"
"I'll take the risk." He announced as his hand found its way to your forehead first, and then caressed your cheek. "You took the risk for me too, remember?"
I did. You stared at him. And for what, you prick?
Taking your silence as a sign, Baldwin picked up the bowl of soup and brought the spoon up to your lips.
"I'm not hungry."
"I know, but this will help with the pain and nausea. I promise." He gently nudged the spoon against your lips again, and you parted your lips as the aroma of rosemary and oregano hit your nose.
The soup tasted good and you wouldn't admit it out loud, but it did warm your soul as it slid down your throat. It was earthy and creamy, and just what your cramping body needed.
"Its nice, hm?" He asked, smiling as you gave him a single nod. "I had the kitchen make it with my own recipe."
"Your recipe?"
"Well, I told them about what ingredients to add, ones that would be beneficial for your body and soothe some of your ache. They had to tweak it a bit to make it palatable." Baldwin explained. "And how did you know what ingredients to add?" You interrogated. Did he make it for his lover? Or stole the recipe from her?
"Oh, I just researched it." "Researched?" He nodded, feeding you another spoon. "I read some books."
You couldn't help but scoff. "So what? You're an expert on periods now?"
He chuckled, shaking his head as he scooped up some more soup to feed you. "Of course not! I cant be an expert by spending after only researching for a day. Sure, I summoned the royal physicians to educate me more on the topic but I dont think he knows much."
He spent a whole day... reading about periods? You turned your gaze away from him, choosing to focus on the wall behind him instead. "That's obvious. Just how much could a man know about the female body?"
Baldwin's eyes twinkled. "Exactly my thoughts, princess." He fed you another spoon. "That's why I'm having a royal body of physicians solely focused on studying the female body and affect of medicine built. It will consist of the best physicians, both men and women, from around the world study and work on the diseases concerning the female body. I'll fund it personally."
"What? Why?"
He looked at you dumbfounded. "Obviously for the same reason you said. Currently not much is known about a woman's body, so why not? I don't want you to be suffering again because of my lack of knowledge. I truly do feel helpless when I see you in pain." He confessed sadly.
Liar.
He set the empty bowl to the side before taking your right hand in both of his. "Please, let me know how can I help you? My love, my beautiful princess, it hurts me to see you in this torment." Baldwin said as he kissed the back of your hand gently.
You stared at his face, at those blue eyes of his. How can he- how can he lie with such conviction?
You pulled your hand away from him, looking away (which now that you think about- why am I avoiding his eyes? I didnt do anything wrong!).
"I wish to be alone, Baldwin."
In your peripheral vision, you could see the way his face dropped, and though you should've felt delighted, you felt rather awful- as if you had hurt a child.
It only made things worse when he whispered. "But... why?"
Still avoiding his eyes, you replied. "I- I adjust better to this- this state when I'm alone. I just need to rest, that's all. Some peace and quiet." You convinced yourself that you only explained to him just to get him to leave.
Had you looked at him, you would've seen the sorrow on his face.
"O-of course, princess. As you wish."
He left.
-
The next 3 days were uneventful for you, mostly because you didnt leave your room and- Baldwin didnt return to disturb you.
Which is good. You though to yourself, because it finally gave you enough time to not only work on your time machine but also work on your plan to right the timeline as it should be.
Which is why, today you had decided to leave your room. Of course it helped that Lady Margaret had brought in cotton for you to make a DIY sanitary napkin.
"Where did you get this?" You don't recall cotton being grown easily in cooler climates.
Lady Margaret smiled as she made your bed. "His Majesty had it imported from Sicily."
Your eyes went wide. "How? Sicily is- thats far away!" She chuckled at you shock. "Yes, but I think this sicilian cotton had made its way to Egypt, and perhaps His Majesty acquired it from Sultan Salauddin."
You looked at the large amount of cotton packed into bags in your room. "He bought this much?" Lady Margaret followed your gaze to the pile sitting in the corner, and mistook your surprise for disappointment.
"No, dont worry princess. King Baldwin had bought bales of cotton! They're stored away for future use." Your jaw dropped.
Bales? Baldwin ordered BALES OF COTTON?! You gasped internally. If he had THAT much cotton imported from Egypt, Salauddin surely would've asked for the reason because he would suspect that Baldwin is planning to use it for military strategy or attack. But you know Baldwin, his dumbass would've spilled to Salauddin, his off field bestie who he confides in about everything, about your periods.
You want to crawl into a hole in ground and die. Right now.
But... you fucked up history, so dying of embarrassment will have to wait.
"Lady Margaret, I need some fresh air so I'll be either taking a walk in the garden or you'll find me in the royal library ." You said, adjusting your clothes in front of the mirror. "Please make sure that neither my maids nor my knights are to follow me. I- I need some time to breathe or I will lose my mind if I feel anyone breathe down my neck about some royal protocol. I'll be back before lunch." You left before she could protest, though you doubt she will when she saw how agitated you were.
You had walked towards the west hall where you were hoping to find that big headed buffoon-
You heard his obnoxious laughter before you saw him.
Guy was standing in the middle of the hall, looking ugly as hell as he smirked at some poor maid struggling to break free from his grasp.
"Oh come on, you wench, give me a kiss-"
"Guy, let her go." Startling him, the maid took the chance and ran off. Guy turned around, glaring when he saw you. "What do you want?" He grumbled, running a hand through his hair frustratedly, looking back to see if the maid was still there or not.
"Quit it." You scolded him, before walking towards an empty room, nodding at him to get in. He grinned as you strode in. "Ah, so you're jealous? Well dont you worry darling, I can give you a kiss to-"
"I would rather burn myself alive and be crucifed than even be rumoured that you dared to touch me with your disgusting paws." You remarked, walking away from him to create distance between you two. "I have a proposal for you that would interest you."
Guy grumbling, sat down on a chair and looked at you expectantly.
"I have a plan to make you king." His eyes went wide.
"I- I- what?!" He stood up. "I dont want- this is treason!" He yelled, pulling out his sword and aiming at you. You stood steadfast, unaffected. "And this isnt? If you kill me, who do you think will end up in the dungeons?" You sighed. "Put it away, Guy, before you embarrass yourself any further."
You began explaining your plan. "You and I both know you were just waiting for Baldwin to roll over and die when he had leprosy. I know you want to be king, and... I can help you with that."
He stared at you, trying to figure out if this is a trap. "I... I deserve to be king. I was promised the throne. Thats why I married Sibylla!" He complained. Honestly, what the fuck does Sibylla see in this piece of cow dung?
Resisting the urge to roll your eyes, you continued. "I agree, thats why we should make an alliance-"
He scoffed. "An alliance? With you?" He said with such disgust, you didnt know whether it was because it was you were a woman, or because you were- well, you. "Why would I need you?"
"Because Guy... you're too dumb to pull this off on your own. No offense." He was offended, so you continued before he could start talking shit again. "Guy, if you become a little open minded for just a few minutes and hear me out, you'll find my proposal very useful." And by some miracle, he stayed quiet and let you present your plan.
When you were finally done explaining, he looked pretty convinced. But of course, he would rather stab himself than admit that outloud.
"Your plan... can work, but it'll take an awful lot of time." He said.
You leaned against the wall, and crossed your arms. "Good things comes to those who wait."
"I still think we should do it my way." You rolled your eyes at his insistence. "Guy, do you know how stupid it sounds when you suggest that we lock Baldwin in a room full of lepers? He cant get leprosy again."
"Well, why not?!"
"Because I cured him." He scowled at your answer. "What about measles? Or yellow fever-"
"Baldwin cant get sick. Ever." Well, technically he could get sick but its highly unlikely because the medicinal vial he drank when you gave him your water had all the vaccines in it, so Baldwin's immunity is pretty invincible right now. You sighed, rubbing your temples. "Look, if we follow my plan, then Baldwin will die a hero, no one will suspect you of anything, and you still get to be king!"
He seemed to contemplate for a moment before narrowing his eyes at you. "And what do you get out of it?"
"Freedom." Guy scoffed. "You want freedom over being Queen of Jerusalem, the Holy Land? Do you think I'm stupid?!"
"Those are two different questions. But yes, to both." You smirked as he got mad. "Okay fine. I'm doing this for... revenge."
"Revenge?" You nodded. "I love someone else, and Baldwin doesnt love me either. He only wants me because of my "healing abilities." You lied, but this is the only way to convince Guy. "So what do you say? Are we in an understanding?" You asked him.
Guy smirked, nodding.
-
You were on your way towards your chambers when you saw her again.
Her. The woman who kissed Baldwin.
The raven haired lady was leaving her room and hadnt noticed you standing at the end of the corridor. She pulled her hood up, looking around hastily before leaving towards the East wing of the castle.
Where Baldwin resided.
You had no reason to, but before you could stop yourself, you were entering her room.
Might as well check the place where Baldwin's been hiding his lover all this time.
It was an average sized room, nowhere near as lavish as your or Baldwin's was, but still better than what some of his royal guests would get. You walked towards her bed, sitting down as a sharp cramp hit you.
You groaned, holding your stomach as you buckled over and thats when you caught sight of a small box under the bed. You pulled it out and took of the lid. It contained letters. Many letters from different people, but mostly from Baldwin.
You looked at the dates- they've been in contact for years.
Your finger traced over her name.
"Charlotte." Huh. Sounds a lot like harlot-
You shook your head. You cant stay here for too long, dont want "Charlotte" walking in on you snooping. Since these letters were arranged according to dates, you picked a couple on the bottom, to read later and see what Baldwin has been upto after announcing his engagement.
Pocketing them in your dress, you turned to leave, opening the door only to come face-to-face with her.
She was startled, before looking confused as to who you were.
Of course, she doesnt know you. While you were trying to come up with an excuse, Charlotte's eyes fell on the huge diamond ring on your finger, and she let out a small gasp of realisation and immediately dropped into a graceful courtesy.
"Your Majesty! I'm sorry I didn't recognise you before!" Alright, maybe the ball can be in your court.
You flicked your wrist to signal her to rise. "That's quite alright..."
"Charlotte." She replied. You hummed. "Right. I apologise, I didnt know this was your room. I was just trying to find the library."
"Oh thats on the other side of the castle, in the North wing!" She said cheerfully, your eyes falling on that dimpled smile of hers.
"Hm, you seem to know a lot about the castle." You remarked, a little bitterly.
But perhaps Charlotte didnt catch on. "Oh yes! I spent a lot of time here as a child. My father used to work for the late king." She explained. You continued to study her face, that fair complexion, blemish free skin, rosy cheeks, and hazel eyes adorned with luscious lashes.
"Ah, so you must be close with King Baldwin." You finally said, and you didnt fail to catch the momentary shock in her eyes before she composed herself.
Busted.
"I- hahaha, um, no. We used to play sometimes when we were young, but then the late king passed away, and King Baldwin had to take up new duties." She chuckled nervously.
You sighed dramatically. "Pity. You seem like a lovely gal." Charlotte's eyes widened slightly. "Heavy is the head that wears the crown, I guess." You mumbled as you moved past her.
"Y-your Majesty!" She called out from behind you. You looked at her nervous face as she bit her lip, trying to come up with the words.
"Yes?"
"I- I need your help." She gulped. "King Baldwin-"
"Y/N!" You whipped your head around to find Baldwin at the other end of the hall, marching over towards you two. His pace was fast and... somewhat angry.
He came to a halt, taking your face in his hands before kissing your forehead hard. "I've been looking for you everywhere, princess!" He hugged you, pulling your head into his chest. "You had me so worried!"
While your head was shoved against his chest, you managed to catch a glimpse of Charlotte looking at Baldwin with desperation, and tears welling up in her eyes. After a little struggle, you finally managed to push yourself away from Baldwin, but he immediately took ahold of your arms, not letting you get away from him. Or-
pulling you away from Charlotte.
The lady continued to look at Baldwin with those barely suppressed anguish, but he refused to spare her a glance. Instead, he wrapped his arm around your shoulders and began pushing you in the opposite direction.
"Come on, princess. You need to be in bed resting." He said to you, still not acknowledging her.
"Your Majesty, I need to talk-" Charlotte called out.
"We'll talk later, Lady Charlotte."Baldwin continued to pull you along with him. "Your Majesty-"
"I said- later." He finally looked over his shoulder, and you were astonished to see the mean glare he cast her.
Charlotte finally bowed her head in submission.
As you both reached your room, Baldwin seemed to finally return to his usual self. "Oh princess, I just felt like my heart dropped when I was informed you werent in your room! You know the physicians have been emphasising bed rest-"
"What just happened back there, Baldwin?" You cut off his rambling.
"What was what, dear?"
"Baldwin." Your tone turned dead serious. "Why did you pull me away from her? What was Charlotte going to tell me?"
He looked into your eyes, and you could see the gears turning in his head. "Do not lie to me, Baldwin." You warned.
His gaze turned sharp. "I just didnt want you to listen to anything she had to say." He sat on your bed, leaning forward as he clasped his hands. "She's... not in the right state of mind."
Ah. So she's "crazy".
"Why is she not in the right mind? And why is she here then?" You demanded answers.
Baldwin sighed, rubbing his temples. "You should not be burdened with that. I am... handling it." He got up, taking your hands in his. "Just trust me, princess. I am doing this to protect you."
Fuck. That.
You wanted to backhand him so bad, but you also did not want your head chopped off. Seriously though... the nerve men have. To not only frame Charlotte as being "off her meds" but also basically admit to cheating because he's doing this to "protect you", what kind of bullshit is that?
But alas, your time machine was still not fixed and if the most
"pious" man could be cheating on you with a smile plastered on his face, you didnt think any other man of this era would fair any better.
So you played the fool.
"Of course I trust you, Baldwin." You let him kiss your hairline sweetly, though you felt anything but.
-
It didn't surprise you the next day when you tried to look for Lady Charlotte, only to be told that she left the day before, in the dead of the night.
Baldwin couldnt be looking anymore guilty than he is at the moments. Seriously, kicking out your lover the day your fiancee finds out about her existence?
You scoffed. He can do whatever the hell he wants, you're going to be leaving for Egypt soon anyways.
Returning to your room, you decided to read the letters that you had stole from Charlotte's room yesterday.
The 4 letters you had managed to take, all were from Baldwin detailing that he would "help her" and "cares for her still", etc. However, the last letter, the latest one, dated to almost 10 days ago, the same time you were away in Egypt, told Charlotte that he had been cured of leprosy, and would be soon able to get her the "cure" too. But this letter, it was signed off as "King Baldwin IV" and not "Baldwin" as in other letters.
All the previous letters, all of them were months old, or at the very least, they were all written before he announced his engagement. Which meant that for more than a month now, Baldwin hadnt written to her, kind of surprising, since he wrote to her- according to the dates, at least every two weeks. So why hadnt he wrote to her after deciding to marry you? He never mentioned you to her before-
You looked up in realisation. Did... did Baldwin plan to use you as a universal "cure"? You exhaled sharply in disbelief. No, no way. Baldwin doesnt actually believe in all that religious mumbo jumbo about you being an "angel sent by God who has magic healing powers". But-
Your heart sank. Of course, he does. Thats why he's making that "royal body of physicians", the best from around the world, to study you. He never wanted to study the female body to help your period cramps! He's gonna use you as a fucking lab rat to make himself and his people invincible! He wants you to cure them all!
What happens- what happens when he realises that I cant cure anyone? What's he going to do to me?
Your throat ran dry at the silent answer. You've read about medieval torture. They're brutal.
You heard footsteps coming towards your room, so you quickly his your letters and tried to look normal again.
"Princess?" Baldwin knocked before entering, not waiting for your permission. He beamed as he looked at you, walking upto you to kiss your cheek, but frowned immediately. "Princess, you're sweating. Are you okay?"
You wiped the cold sweat quickly. Nodding at him, you changed the subject. "Where are you going?" You asked, looking at his clothes.
"Oh! I'm going hunting! Its been a while, and I read somewhere that bone marrow is very nutritious for the body, so I'm going to hunt some animals for you." He explained ecstatically before grinning at you as he leaned down to your level. "But since its been so long since I last went hunting, I decided I needed some good luck. So... princess, will you bless me with some luck?"
"W-what?" You stammered out at the proximity. He turned his cheek, glancing at you expectantly. Oh, he cant be serious.
"Do you want your king, your soon-to-be husband to die?" He teased, but at the same time, you knew he wouldnt leave until you did what he wanted.
Swallowing thickly, you leaned in slowly and gave him a quick peck on his cheek, right where his dimple appeared when you did. Immediately, he turned face back to you and grabbed your head to steady and planted a wet kiss on your forehead.
"My luckiest charm!" He chuckled, pinching your nose as your flushed. "I'll be back before dinner!" He said on his way out.
-
3 hours later, you had finally decided to leave. You cant wait until another week and who knows if Baldwin will even let you leave then? What if he figures out that there is no family in Egypt for you and decides to lock you away in the dungeons to be experimented on?
Ironic how you as a scientist will now be a guinea pig for medieval era "scientists".
You had sneaked out of your room without anyone noticing, a feat in itself since the place is crawling with knights and servants.
But of course, Baldwin would've made sure there was at least one person tailing your every move.
"Princess Y/n?" The knight commander of your security detail called out. What were the odds of him leaving his post at the front of the castle, to walk in on you mounting a horse in the stables at the back of this castle? "Where are you going? His Majesty told me that you would be resting in your room today."
You blinked at him, trying to come up with an excuse. "I- I-"
He looked at you with even more concern, however that would start turning into suspicion soon if you don't answer him soon.
"Chapel!" You blurted out. "I- I am going to the royal chapel... to uh- isolate myself."
"Isolate?"
"Y-yes, because of my- um flow. I do not want to risk his majesty or- anyone getting sick because of me." The knight commander seemed satisfied with your explanation. He nodded, signalling a couple of other knights his way. "Very well, princess. Let these knights accompany you to the chapel, and they will keep guard while you isolate yourself inside."
You know he wouldnt let you go without knights, so you dont argue. Besides, the royal chapel is huge. You're sure you can sneak out of there unnoticed by these knights.
-
At the chapel, you waited until it was dark and the last of the church staff had taken their leave. You had found a small window to squeeze through, but just then, one of the knights knocked on the door of your chapel.
You didnt answer at first, hoping that they'd think you were asleep and dont disturb you again. However, they knocked again, this time with more persistence.
Grumbling, you returned to your bed and messed up your hair, pretending like you just woke up.
"Yes?"
The knight barged in, looking spooked. "A-apologies for waking you up, princess but-! But his majesty-!" You got up from your bed, brows furrowing.
"His Majesty has been injured during the hunt!" He stammered out.
Your eyes widened. Baldwin got injured? The knight began ushering you out of the chapel. "We must return to palace now! Its not safe!"
"What? Why?" You stopped him from helping you mount your horse. He looked at the other knights who were all on high alert as they kept looking around.
"The king was shot by an arrow!"
-
You were now back at the castle, against your will, so running away will have to wait. You were going to go to your room, but the knight commander ushered you towards Baldwin's.
"Why am I going there?" You asked as he escorted you.
"The king is injured." He replied. "So? Fetch the physicians."
"I did." He stopped to look at you. "But His Majesty has refused them from helping. He asked for you specially."
Oh no. Is he- is he going to make you "heal" him again? But you dont have any of your medicinal potions anymore. So when he realises you cant heal him-
You stood in front of his door.
Will he kill me?
You entered the room, spotting him lying on the bed bare chested, with an arrow stuck in his left shoulder blade.
Baldwin's eyes were closed, but his brows were furrowed in pain, sweat glistening from his entire body.
As you walked near, you spotted the bandages and ointments left by the physicians.
"B-Baldwin?" Your voice was so small, heart thumping against your chest as his eyes fluttered open weakly.
"P-princess?" He sounded so frail. Somehow, despite the state he was in, he managed to smile. "You came?"
You nodded. "You asked for me."
"I did. Only you can heal me from this. Only you can save me from death."
Save him?
You had him sit up to inspect the wound. "I-" Your eyes narrowed at the wound, and then at his face.
"Baldwin." He hummed weakly in response. Gritting your teeth, you ripped out the arrow from his shoulder, making him gasp in pain. "What did you do that for?!"
You waved the arrow in his face. "This hadnt penetrated through your shoulder! It wasnt even in that deep!" You threw the arrow to your side. "You werent dying! You're not even close to dying!"
He pouted, rubbing his shoulder where a small hole was. "So? It still hurt. Just bandage me-"
"Why didnt you have the physicians do it for you?!"
"Why would I when I have you? Come on, nurse me back to health, princess." He sighed when you glared at him. "Okay fine. I only called for you because well- you've been very distant with me."
Your nostril flared. "And whose fault is that?" You gritted out before turning to leave.
"Wait, princess-" He called out from behind. You werent going to listen to another word- another lie! Twisting the handle, you opened the door, only for it to be slammed shut by hand coming over you.
"Princess~" Baldwin turned you around, pushing you against the door as he locked it. "You arent going anywhere until we clear this out."
You pushed him away. "I dont want to clear it out." Baldwin's brows rose at your harsh tone. You turned around to leave again but Baldwin grabbed your wrist, tugging you to his chest.
"Y/n." His eyes pierced through you. "Why are you acting like this?"
You didnt answer. "Let me go, Baldwin." "No. Answer me-" "Let me go, Baldwin." "Princess, youre being unfair to me. What did I do to deserve such harshness from the one person I love the most-"
"You kissed Charlotte."
The color drained from his face, and the shock of being caught made him release your wrist. "Did Charlotte tell you this?"
Before either of you could react, you slapped him. Baldwin stared at you in shock, holding his cheek. You just slapped a king- the king of the HOLY LAND, but you honestly couldnt bring yourself to care about the conseuquences of your actions.
You backed away from him as tears pooled into your eyes. "You arent even denying it. You kissed her."
"Charlotte kissed me-"
"But you didnt push her back!" You screamed, tears finally flowing free. "I saw it- I fucking saw it, Baldwin!"
"Y/n listen to me-"
"If you loved Charlotte, if you planned on getting back with her, why did you propose to me?! I never wanted to marry you, Baldwin, so why did you lead me on?!"
"Thats not true! Just listen-"
"As if fooling around my back wasnt enough, you let her stay inside the castle even after I had returned! I mean I get you didnt think you would ever get to do it due to leprosy, but how desperate did you have to be to bed her while I was still in the castle?!"
"ENOUGH!" He roared, face red from rage. "You will calm down right now, or I will make you calm down!"
You looked at him betrayed and hurt, as Baldwin closed his eyes, pinching the bridge of his his nose, taking deep breaths to collect himself.
"You've accused me of something. I deserve to explain myself." He stated.
"Charlotte and I were engaged when we were just children. Her father used to work for my father, as a knight. When he was on his deathbed due to getting wounded gravely when he saved my father, he made me promise that I would always take care of Charlotte." He paused before continuing. "When I found out I had leprosy, I broke off our engagement and when she came of age, I found her a suitable noble to marry. Eventually, they had a son. Her husband... he eventually lost all of his land and money in a gamble. So I tried to help Charlotte financially over the years, because I was the one who found her this man. She didnt deserve to be married to such man."
He recalled the events. "One day, Charlotte wrote to me that her husband had fallen sick. Terribly so. He kept on coughing and coughing until he began hacking up blood. My physicians told me that he had pthisis as the Greeks call it, or "consumption."
You remember studying about medival diseases- one of which was "consumption". Or in modern day- "Tuberculosis."
"I tried to help out, but there was no cure. The man died a slow and painful death. Charlotte loved her husband, despite all his faults, so his death did take a toll on her mentally. I continued to support her, but there was only so much I could do as a leper king. Things seemed to be going well until last year, when her son fell sick. The physicians said he was suffering with consumption as well, but it was still in the early stages so they had hope they could treat it. They took his son with them to the infirmary in Byzantine, where the best possible care would be provided for him. I made sure of it." He sighed. "But the odds were not in his favour. I got a letter from the head physician that Charlotte's son would not survive the winter. Charlotte was there with her son, day and night, she'd never leave his side. The physicians told her about her son's life expectancy. As expected, she was devastated, but at least now she could prepare herself and spend the rest of his days together."
"Then I announced our engagement, and I didnt write to Charlotte because I didnt think it would be appropriate to share this news with her at such a pivotal time. However, news must've reached her about my leprosy being cured and before I knew it, she was here. You were still in Egypt when Charlotte came, and she wanted to meet you. At first I thought it was because she wanted to congratulate you, but I found out that it was because she-" Baldwin shook his head, before looking right at you. "She thought you could cure her son."
"What? Why would she-" Of course, everyone thinks youre made of magic because of Baldwin.
"That's not the worst part. Charlotte's son was already dead before she had even reached Jerusalem. The physician informed me of his death, and that he had warned Charlotte of it too, but she still came here instead of being with her son."
You narrowed your eyes at him. "She came here because you asked her to-"
"I didnt! Why would I do that? Especially when you werent even here to help her?" Baldwin took a deep breath before continuing on. "When I informed her of her son's death- She lost it. She lost herself. I just- I promised to take care of her, Y/n."
"So you kissed her? To make her fall in love with you? Was that the plan?"
"I didnt kiss her, she kissed me!" Baldwin gritted out. "Even after her son's death, she wanted to meet you so that you could bring her son back to life. No matter how much I explained that it isnt possible to bring him back, she wouldnt listen. I told her that you're not some sort of witch that cast a spell to cure me-"
"So why did she kiss you?" You cut him off.
Baldwin licked his lips. "Charlotte knew the story of how you cured me. She figured that if she cant get you, then she can have me help her. In her head, she thought that since I drank your water that had your saliva, I had your essence- your healing abilities in me. So, she kissed me."
He could see the realisation dawning on you. Charlotte kissed him to get your "healing power"?
"I didnt push her back- because I was surprised. And then I pitied her. I didnt know how to break it to her again that nothing can bring her son back. That she was all alone now. Because of me. I had her marry that man, who got consumption, and then his son contracted it as well. I am the reason for her losing everything!" His eyes twinkled with tears, but he didnt let one tear slip.
Wait a minute. If Baldwin knew her son was dying and didnt call her here, then-
You closed your eyes. Fucking Guy.
Of course, only he'd be the one to address the letter as "King Baldwin IV". And you already figured out why he called Charlotte.
"We can kill Baldwin by making him sick again" Guy thought that Charlotte would bring her son, or at the very least bring a series of diseases from the Byzantine infirmary to infect Baldwin with.
Fucking idiot.
Baldwin took your hands in his. "Princess, I never cheated on you. I know I should've told you about Charlotte but... I didnt want to burden you. You already are busy trying to find your family and when you returned, you were tired and then you had your flow. I just- I didnt want to pile up more stuff on you." His hand cupped your cheek tenderly. "You know that I love you. You know that my affection for you is real. Thats why it hurt you so much when saw you her kissing me, because deep down, you knew I wouldn't betray you like this."
His blue were firm as he spoke the next words with conviction.
"You are the beginning of my soul. And you are the end of it."
Tears slipped down your face as you felt him kiss your forehead before wrapping you in his arms, continuing to kiss your forehead again and again.
Finally, you wrapped your arms around him, nodding. Accepting.
Sniffling, you pulled away before tugging him to sit on the bed as you began bandaging his shoulder. Fortunately, the wound wasnt too deep, so you didnt need to introduce "sutures" to medieval era.
Baldwin smiled softly as you tied his bandage, taking your hand and pressing a kiss on top of it. "I'm all better now." You smiled sadly.
"What?" He asked you. You sniffled again. "Princess, what is it?" He pulled you to sit on his lap, tapping your chin.
"I slapped you." You reminded him.
He nodded. "I remember."
"I'm sorry." "I know." He smiled assuringly. Honestly, you were so overcome with emotion that you hadnt realised the risk you took. Baldwin could've easily had your head chopped off at the offence.
"You're not mad?" You whispered, peeking at him from your lashes. He hummed thoughtfully. "No, not mad. I am hurt by your lack of trust me in though, but I take half the blame in this as you did see someone kissing me." He grinned at you. "I do know how you can make it up to me though."
You raised a brow.
"How about... you and I..." he tipped your chin to meet his eyes as he leaned close. "... cuddle tonight?"
"You want cuddles?" You asked, lips quirking at his childishness. He nodded excitedly. "Yes. As you know, I am gravely injured, I need all the love and attention from my beloved angel~" You squealed as he pulled you down with him on the mattress, bursting into giggles as he kissed your cheeks again and again.
After 10 minutes or so of you playing with his hair as he dreamily sighed, you suddenly had a question.
"Baldwin?" He hummed. "How did you get an arrow in your shoulder? You went hunting animals with knights."
Baldwin, with his eyes still closed, replied. "If I tell you, you'll get mad."
You tugged at his hair, making him open one eye. "Baldwin~" You warned.
"Fine, fine, I'll tell you." He rested his head on his palm. "Well, since you were being distant to me and the knight commander told me you had housed yourself in the royal chapel under the excuse of "not wanting to make me sick", I figured I need to find a way to make you be close to me..."
Your face dropped at realisation.
"YOU SHOT YOURSELF WITH AN ARROW?!"
He shook his head in disbelief. "No, dont be silly. How would that be even possible?" You sighed in relief.
"I threatened my expert archer to shoot me with an arrow."
-
Sibylla burst through the door as soon as she had heard of her brother's grave injury, only to witness an odd sight:
Baldwin, with his shoulder bandaged, was doing sit-ups in front of Y/n, who was sitting on his bed, glaring at him with angry tears streaming down her face.
"Princess~ I said I'm sorryyyyy" Sibylla giggled, watching her younger sibling whine to you, but he shut up as another tear slipped down your cheek.
So, thoughts?
None of you guessed that reason for the kiss,did you? I better fucking get all the comments and asks or else I'm wreaking havoc
#yandere king baldwin#yandere x darling#yandere baldwin#king baldwin iv#yandere x reader#yandere x y/n#yandere boyfriend#obsessive yandere#baldwin iv#king baldwin x reader
434 notes
·
View notes
Text
Based on chapter 260 (kinda has spoilers?)
Warning: Reader is crossdressing here so I am using a mix of she/her and he/him. It has angst, but also fluff here. Requests are open
⚽️Blue lock belongs to Muneyuki Kaneshiro and Yusuke Nomura⚽️
Pairings: Kaiser x CD!Yn (Ness x CD!Yn, if he squint)
It was one of those days on which (Y/n) didn't feel like doing anything. Ego had cut their training short, and the 5 teams that were occupying the Blue Lock facility had the rest of the day off. (Y/n) yawned as she rolled around in her bed, unable to fall asleep and glanced over at the digital clock on the wall.
'It's only 15:30... I still have some time left till dinner.' She thought and sat up in her bed, looking at the two beds that usually Ness and Kaiser occupied. To her surprise, neither were there, and thinking back, she couldn't remember seeing Kaiser during morning practice. Only Ness was there, who looked gloomy and barely talked to anyone, even the German side couldn't get anything out of him.
'So annoying... What are those two even up to?' (Y/n) hummed, feeling a little worried about both boys and got out of bed, deciding to go look for them.
'It's not like I care about either of them. I just don't want to be told off for not knowing where they are.' She thought to herself as she left the bedroomz deciding to go room by room and see if they were there.
Surprisingly enough, it didn't take (Y/n) too long to find either of them, as they were in the monitoring room Kaiser would use to stalk- rewatch her and Isagi's plays. That wasn't the weirdest part, oddly enough, what was weird was finding Ness sitting on the ground and... crying?
"Ness, are you alright?"
The magenta-eyed boy immediately looked up as (Y/n) approached him. To his surprise, she wasn't looking at him in a condescending manner, but in genuine worry.
"Is everything alright? Did Kaiser say something to you again?" The boy flinched and shook his head. (Y/n) sighed and looked at the closed door, there was a long silence and the girl thought for a moment that nobody was there. Maybe Kaiser and Ness were never in the monitor room to begin with.
"Come on, get up. The floor is cold, you will get sick." (Y/n) said calmly as she grabbed Ness' arm and tried to pull him up, but the boy refused to move.
"I am fine! Why do you even care? Don't you hate me?!" Ness yelled and glared up at her. (Y/n) was surprised by both his yelling and crying. Sure, they did argue, but he never yelled at her.
"I don't hate you-"
Before the girl could finish her sentence, a loud crash and scream were heard from inside the room. (Y/n) let go of Ness' arm and looked at the door in shock and quickly made her way towards it, completely ignoring the boy's protests.
'Wasn't that Kaiser's scream?' She wondered and quickly opening the door, but what she saw inside made her freeze up in her spot. The room looked nothing like she remembered. Glass was all over the place, one of the TVs was shattered, and there were blood splatters in some places.
"Kaiser... Did you injure yourself?" (Y/n) asked in worry, looking at the boy who was kneeling on the ground. The blonde said nothing as he held his bleeding hand, not looking at the girl, just taking deep breaths.
"Kaiser? Can you answer me?" (Y/n) walked over to the boy, avoiding all the shards that were scattered around the place.
'What did he even break?' She wondered when she stood above him. Calmly, she put a hand on his shoulder, trying to shake him out of whatever state he was in.
"Kaiser, let's clean that wound. You will infect it-"
Before she could finish her sentence, Kaiser's head shot up towards her, the dull look causing her to back away a little.
"Kaiser?-"
"Shut up!" The blonde yelled and jumped at her, knocking her to the ground.
"Hey! What's the big deal- ACK!" (Y/n)'s eyes widened in horror when the boy put his hands around her throat, squeezing it a little.
"Are you insane? Let go!" She glared up, but that quickly faltered as the boy started to squeeze her throat tighter.
"You useless piece of garbage!! Why can't you leave me alone!!" Kaiser started yelling while tears streamed down his face. (Y/n) started stretching his wrists, hoping it might snap him out of this state.
'What happened to him?! He will strangle me at this point!' (Y/n) started to panic as she felt the loss of oxygen, but Kaiser's grip didn't falter. By now, Ness ran into the room as well, panicking when he saw what was going on. He started yelling at Kaiser to stop this, even tried to move him off of (Y/n).
"Stupid piece of shit-"
"You are acting just like your dad now!"
The blonde froze at Ness' words and quickly let go of (Y/n)'s throat. The girl immediately took in a few breaths, relief washing over here for a moment.
'Wait! His father?'
(Y/n) thought as she started to cough, which made Kaiser finally step out of his state.
"(Y/n)..." The blonde whispered as he looked down at her, then quickly got off of the girl and moved away as far as possible. Ness helped her sit up while the girl kept her eyes fixated on Kaiser.
"N-Ness... Get me a first aid kit out of the medic room." She said to the boy, who looked at her in confusion.
"Did you cut yourself?"
"No, just go and get it."
The boy decided not to argue for now and quickly ran out. After he left, (Y/n) refocused her attention on Kaiser, who was staring at his hands in horror.
The girl shook her head and got off of the ground, walking over to Kaiser slowly.
'His dad.... Did his dad hurt him? What else could he have done to him?' She thought once her mind was clear, anger bubbling up inside of her.
"Kaiser-"
"Don't come near me." The boy looked up at her in horror,she could see a new set of tears form in his eyes.
"It's-"
"No, stay away."
"Fine. It's fine."
Kaiser's eyes widened as (Y/n) kneeled in front of him and pulled the boy into a hug.
"It's fine... You are fine now. Your dad isn't here. You aren't your dad."
Kaiser's eyes widened, the quickly hugged her back and buried his face into her shoulder.
"It's fine. You can cry here."
It didn't take too long for him to start just doing that.
It took another hour for Kaiser to calm down before (Y/n) could tend to his wounds. She did this in the privacy of the room she shared with the two Germans. Kaiser was quiet the whole time, while Ness was the one who explained to her what had happened, after the blonde gave him the permission. To say (Y/n) was infuriated would be an understatement, but she needed to keep calm, someone had to stay calm in this room. Eventually, her anger turned into sadness as she looked over at Kaiser, who looked more like a shell of his former self.
"I am sorry for-"
"Ness, it's not your fault." (Y/n) looked at the boy, then back at Kaiser, who avoided making eye-contact with her. She then looked down at the bandages around his wrists, guilt hitting her as she remembered that she had scratched him there.
"I am sorry, Kaiser."
The boy's eyes widened as she grabbed his wrists and kissed the bandaged parts.
"Everything will be fine." She smiled weakly, really hoping she was right this time. (Y/n) had no idea if anything will be fine. Kaiser was a broken shell, Ness wasn't doing better either, and she didn't know what to do to make it better.
"I hope so." Kaiser finally said as he pulled her into a hug. (Y/n) smiled sadly and hugged him back.
"And you won't leave me. Got it?"
"Yeah, sure." She said back, not thinking much of her words or his serious tone. Ness bit his lip as he watched them and slowly sat on Kaiser's bed, looking at (Y/n) nervously for a moment.
"Can I have a hug as well, (Y/n)?" She blinked at Ness in confusion for a moment, but eventually nodded her head.
"Sure-"
"But not now. He will be hugging me till I am happy again." Kaiser warned Ness, tightening his arms around her form. The other boy rolled his eyes and nodded his head.
"Yeah, yeah."
Kaiser pouted as (Y/n) started caressing his hair, leaning closer into her touch.
#bllk#blue lock anime#blue lock manga#blue lock x reader#bllk x reader#blue lock scenarios#blue lock#crossdressing#michael kaiser#bllk kaiser#blue lock kaiser#kaiser x reader#alexis ness#bllk ness#ness x reader
179 notes
·
View notes
Note
AITA for not wanting to meet my father's new gf?
So my [24F] father [55M] has a new girlfriend. Some background info: my mother died a little over a year ago. My father decides to start dating again after roughly six months. Gets a new gf, has to talk to me about it because he has no close friends. I tell him I don't want to hear about it, he still tells me. Gets dumped by new gf, has to lament to me about it and I have to manage his emotions for him. I tell him I'm his daughter, not his therapist, he tells me I'm not his therapist but his teacher.
Then in February last, he gets a new relationship. They dive in very quickly and he doesn't listen to anyone urging caution. He starts spiralling, decides that everyone is against his relationship (me, my grandmother [82F], my brother [22M], her children (four, ranging from 9-17)), and got it into his head that my brother, who doesn't want to meet the new gf, wants to sabotage his relationship. Both me and my brother have told him that we don't want to hear about his relationship, it's still what he talks about most.
Now he and her have decided that we need to be introduced to her and her family. Like I wrote earlier, my brother doesn't want to (especially because my father doesn't respect his no and keeps badgering him) and this has put my father in a very bad mood, so I have to be the good child and meet her and her kids. One of hers is also not coming btw. I feel like I'm being pushed into this, it's been barely three months and I am not at a point where I want to meet her or her children, but I don't feel like I can get out of it. This is Sunday that we're supposed to be meeting. Wednesday through Friday she and her youngest will be staying over to work on my father's study. She and her kids will be coming yo his birthday, which he celebrates with me as ours are two weeks apart. I already know that this won't be our birthday that we'll be celebrating, but his relationship.
So here's my dilemma. I don't want to meet his new gf or her kids yet, I am not ready to, even if I do meet her Sunday, have her stay over for three days with a kid the next Wednesday, and to have her come to our birthday. AITA if I tell my father that I'm not going Sunday, that I don't want the gf to stay over this week, and that I don't want her to come to the birthday?
80 notes
·
View notes
Text
2.2 is coming and if I don't write this now, how can I get jossed later?
This is the moment when I started to wonder if their 2.0 conversation was a role play.
Like, we know this issue is a sore point for Ratio. The fact that this guy he called a loud peacock in 2.0 made a joke about his failure to get into the Genius Society and all he said was 'I was being sarcastic'?? Babe, is something wrong? You barely touched your sharp and witty comeback.
(Btw I checked both Cn and Jp, he says 'It was just a joke.')
And I don't want to bring up the voice acting because the way voices sound is subjective and what I hear might not be what you hear, but the Double Indemnity scenes with Ratio are probably the most relaxed we ever see Aventurine ever. (I'm talking about the Cn version, but I played in Jp audio and I could hear it there too.) He's playful and his voice is higher pitched, so different from what we've seen of him so far.
It sounds like Ratio and Aventurine have known each other longer than they want us to believe in their 2.0 convo.
I mean, the implication here is Ratio did some research on Aventurine's background recently and that's how he found out about Aventurine's past. So we make the assumption that they haven't been working together for long.
Look, they even did a Penacony remix of their Final Victor conversation
But honestly, you'd think Ratio would have figured out if he trusted Aventurine or not at this point, considering he came back for more after Final Victor (lmao??)
Also, we know Aventurine had been planning for Penacony since his call to Topaz, where he asked for her help. It's hard to believe that he went through all the trouble of asking two different Stonehearts to lend him their cornerstones and then went to Penacony and the Dreamscape with Ratio, whom he barely knows. That's too much gambling, Aventurine!
We know the Family won't let anyone from the IPC to enter the Dreamscape and Aventurine only gets a pass because of the Watchmaker's invite
But Himeko is wrong here: Aventurine didn't go inside the Dreamscape alone and he does have someone backing him up. It just happened that almost no one else saw Ratio in Penacony and the one scene where we did see him talking to Aventurine was 2.0, where he got angry and left Aventurine babbling to himself.
But now that we're here, what did Ratio do in Penacony aside from bicker and betray?
His initial job is to gather intel, afaik. Aventurine tells him to go look into things in 2.0 before he left. And he does give Aventurine updates in 2.1 (Aventurine finds out about Firefly from Ratio) so good for you, professor!
Ratio is Aventurine's connection to his colleagues outside. Once Aventurine's plans enter the Dead phase, Ratio is the only one left to tell Topaz and Jade if the plan had been a success or not. (Aventurine also makes a joke about the Genius from the Council of the Mundanites offering to be his undertaker. In the Jp version, he says 'So the Genius from the Council of the Mundanites wants to claim my corpse? What an honour.' So there's also that... Uh. Idk how dead dead Aventurine really is, but at least we know someone's looking after his body while he's gone lmao??)
But also he's Aventurine's bait to Sunday, the (fake) weak link in Aventurine's plans that Sunday thought he could exploit.
And the 3rd one is a bit complicated, because it is a gamble. Remember Aventurine's E1? Prisoner's Dilemma? Yeah, it's kinda like that. I talked about it before, but let's copy paste it here for easier reading (and because this post totally needs to be a wall of text)
Let's zoom out a bit again and remember that Aventurine was sent to Penacony because Diamond thinks this whole affair could still have a peaceful resolution. Meaning: Aventurine is the kind option. The IPC could have sent Opal instead, but it sounds like that means there would be a body count.
And I think that's why Ratio is here and why he agreed to cooperate. Because if Aventurine's plan works out, only Aventurine's life will ever be in real danger. (And we know from Ratio's note that he also took steps to increase the chances of Aventurine coming back.)
Ratio being there is important to the plan because
Him being from the Intelligentsia Guild removes some of the heat from the Family. If Ratio is coming in as a plus one, the IPC (in this case, I'm assuming it's Aventurine because he's the guy in charge of the operation) chose the best person for the job. It makes the Family happier knowing there are not two IPC envoys walking around the Dreamscape and Aventurine has a buddy who can move around more freely than another IPC employee could
But because Ratio is an outsider, he's also the weak link in Aventurine's plans. Another IPC employee will probably not betray Aventurine, but the Guild has no particular horse in this race. We were also led to believe from their 2.0 conversation that Ratio doesn't like Aventurine very much. This is what I meant when I said Ratio is a bait: Aventurine was pretty much dangling him in front of Sunday, making Sunday think he could use Ratio to ruin Aventurine's plans. The important thing of course is the trust the two of them have for each other (yay, Prisoner's Dilemma). Ratio could ruin Aventurine's plan if he wants to (very bad for all involved because I'm guessing Opal is the next step) and Aventurine could fail (not as bad for everyone involved after 2.1 because the IPC has already won regardless. There's still a Phase 2 in Aventurine's plan and Ratio seems to want him back after that, so I guess he'd consider it a failure if Aventurine doesn't return?), but trusting each other means they win.
Tl;dr Ratio's presence in Penacony is a bit of a gamble on Aventurine's part but it worked well for him so far. Ratio is here to make sure everyone stays alive. (And maybe the Phase Flame? I honestly don't know if the Annihilation Gang will ever come back again, but for now I'm going with the obvious and assuming Ratio is here because he thinks Aventurine's plan will work and work with the least amount of pain for everyone.)
Thank you for getting this far. Why do we think they deserve Oscars?
Aside from the movie references (we'll get to that), we have 3 different instances where Aventurine mentions acting / the 'script'.
The most direct is the conversation with future!Aventurine in the garden maze: future!Aventurine praises Ratio's acting while Aventurine says 'Or he might not be acting at all' (the inability of these two to admit they are friends, but more importantly they don't think the other person thinks highly of them, is2g).
The next one is hidden in the mission description
And the other one got lost in translation. This was translated to 'You catch on quickly' in En. In Jp he says something like 'You have a good sense for drama, professor' (Sorry Idk what this is in the og Cn)
Finally, Double Indemnity. I haven't seen the movie, but it seems to be about an insurance salesman who gets seduced by a hot wife femme fatale into helping her get rid of her husband so she could claim his insurance. Double Indemnity refers to this clause where the insurance gets doubled if the person suddenly dies of an accident.
I've thought about this so hard, let me tell you. What could this possibly have to do with Aventurine and the mission? (For example, 'Hot wife Sunday seduces Ratio the insurance salesman into helping him get rid of Aventurine' etc.) And I honestly still don't know but one detail does help my theory so I'm pulling it out:
The relationship between the insurance salesman and the hot wife femme fatale was known only to the two of them. To the insurance claims adjuster, who was investigating the case and trying to prove the husband's death wasn't an accident, those two are unrelated people who might have seen each other once or twice. The claims adjuster suspected the wife, but had no idea of the insurance salesman's involvement. The truth is, they actually knew each other a full year before the plan was set in motion. Hey, doesn't it actually fit nicely now?
(Spellbound otoh, I still don't know. I have a Sunday and Gallagher reading of it, but Hvy keeps telling me no and making it gay instead so Idk.)
#honkai star rail#dr ratio#aventurine#d metas#ratiorine#this meta is written by a ratiorine and i can't take my shipping goggles off fully sorry if that bothers you
87 notes
·
View notes
Note
stepping off my perv!riize soapbox because fwb!Eunseok crept into my mind. fwb!Eunseok would be such a trip. he's super great in bed (duh) and is just such a sweetheart that people would expect you to fall for him. it wouldn't even be difficult to do. he's everything a girl could want in a man, yet you still never saw him in that way.
Eunseok on the other hand... (anyone that has been around you two for longer than 2 seconds: so, you're in love with her, right? Eunseok: nuh uh!! same person: fuck you mean nuh uh!?) he's literally obsessed with you. he's always texting you. always buying you random presents. you know how there are a million and one couple holidays in Korea?? he's not so subtly celebrating everyone with you. like,,,, the couple allegations get crazy, but EUNSEOK'S the one embarrassed about it when it's his fault in the first place.
you never wanted to cross the line bc you knew going into this that it was just sex and occasionally hanging out. the more often you two hung out, the more you started to fall for him. you started to push away, but he kept being so sweet, kept seeking you out, kept buying you gifts, kept taking you out for fancy dinners, kept loving you.
the whole situationship thing reached a peak one night after another lovely "not a date" date with Eunseok. the second the two of you entered his apartment, he had you pushed against his door, his mouth crashing into yours. before you know it, he's hitting it from the back in a half-assed doggy because you can barely hold yourself up, it feels so good. the closer you get to cumming, the more wobbly your arms get. that is until you give up and flop onto your belly. Eunseok fully pushes himself on top of you, his chest to your back. all you can hear is his breathing, groans, and babbling in your ear. he just kept repeating "you're so good for me" "you feel so good" "needed you so bad". you started to zone out, focusing on how good you felt, until you heard the words "i love you so fucking much" pass his lips. you both froze. he pulled out and moved to sit on the edge of the bed. you turned over and the first thing you saw was how red his ears were. you go to touch his shoulder and he turns around with red eyes and starts rambling about how sorry he is and how he crossed a line. you kiss him to shut up before whispering a soft "i love you too" back.
okay,,, this ended up wayyyyyy more fluffyish and longer than i intended. anyways, here's kinda pathetic!fwb!Eunseok! coming next: maybe perv!Sunchan? maybe perv!Anton? maybe something else entirely??? I DON'T EVEN KNOW!! 😱😱
-🎀
eunseok losing the idgaf war deep in pussy is crazy but real af… like he’s so in denial about his true feelings in fear of you not feeling the same so he doesn’t even realize how the fwb turned into a situationship until he’s wayyyy too deep to turn back, and his nonchalant act coming to bite him in the ass the minute he gets a slight realization that he’s so close to having you but could lose you so fast of he didn’t act now. he’s planning on taking you out and then confessing but he gets so distracted by your beauty and then once he’s inside you those three words just leave him without him realizing and you’re both like 🫣🫢🤨
but this whole time you were waiting for eunseok to finally just claim you as his instead of playing with your emotions like he’s been doing these last months, like who takes their fwb to a 5 star restaurant and gives her a hello kitty money bouquet… eunseok lock tf in please
also the dick? is fire…. you aren’t going anywhere when eunseok fucks you completely stupid every time even when he’s slow, forcing you to look at him while he makes you cum basically a soul tie atp and he doesn’t want you fucking other people, even if you two weren’t together and he’s not fucking anyone else either. tells you his cock is the perfect fit for your pussy and anyone else would be a waste of time <3
after his pussy drunk confession you two talk it out and finally make it official and he finishes what he started and goes back to giving you the best dick of your life as your boyfriend 🙂↕️
kinda looking forward to perv sungchan but ill take all your ideas no matter what they make me lightheaded in the best way possible 🎀 anon
70 notes
·
View notes
Text
||Cherish me part 2 || written by me
🔞 Gojo x reader| Minors DNI| TRIGGER WARNING 🔞
Plot: Gojo taking care and pampering a depressed raeder [self insert only about he depression and shower,not about the abusive mother ,i just wanted to add more angst lol]
Tags: sh,depression,Gojo x reader,cute,fluff,comfort,implied naked shower together,Gojo pampering you,past abuse mention,scalding,abusive mother(reader) [ viewers be aware,if this is touchy or unconfortable for you then don't go haed]
Warning: it starts immediately with sh talking
i'm no english native so sorry for some mistakes
please reblog 🔁 and like❤️
P.S: yesterday i did a shower thinking of Gojo doing it for me and since i feel depressed lately i wanted to write this and share my comfort.
i'm so delusional. lol
@muzansslxt
Satoru doesn’t let you finish. “Your cuts” he continues, almost as if he can’t bring himself to look away. “From last week and today” his voice is so soft, barely audibly.
He reaches out and takes your wrists between his hands, turning them over as he examines the cuts. “I know you weren’t just ‘scraping’ yourself” he says in a sharp tone. “You’re hurting yourself.”
“I-“ you try and pull your wrists away, but he firmly holds onto them. You flinch and quickly try and brush it off. You’re not ready to talk about it. But you know he won’t let it go.
“You’ve been doing this for a while now, haven’t you?” He doesn’t let you answer, and he’s holding onto your wrists too tightly. It hurts. “Tell the truth.”
“It doesn’t matter!” you finally cry out, your voice cracking. “I’m fine. I don’t need anyone. I just…I…”
Satoru doesn’t allow you to finish. He pulls your hands up to his chest and hugs you. Not just a friendly hug, he pulls you in tightly, almost as if he’s worried about losing you.
“It’s not okay” he says softly, stroking your hair. “You’re not okay.”
“I’m fine, I swear…” your voice cracks, and you know you’re close to crying. You’re not okay but it’d be better if he didn’t worry about you. You shouldn’t be so emotional anyway.
“I just…” you trail off. He’s holding you so tightly as he strokes your hair gently. It’s so soothing, and you can’t help but wish he would hold you like this always.
You just… you just want to be held.
He squeezes you tighter, and the two of you stay like this for a few moments. It’s too quiet, and you can almost hear his heartbeat.
Satoru presses a light kiss to your head then finally lets go. “I’ll run you a shower, okay? Go get cleaned up” he says softly. He holds your hand and walks you into the bathroom, helping you strip and giving you privacy. But it’s okay. You’ll be okay.
"But I don't want to shower" You whimpered annoyed
He gives you a firm look. “It wasn’t a question” he says simply, and begins undressing.
He’s already running the shower, and the bathroom fills with a warm haze. He strips out of his jacket and then his shirt, leaving only his boxers on. You can see the scars from countless battles marking his pale skin. Every muscle of his body is well-defined. And all you can do is stare in awe.
"You're gonna shower with me?" You spoke as he tugs you in towards the shower
“Of course.” He says it so simply and his bright blue eyes look into yours. “I’m gonna make sure there aren’t any razors in here, and then I’m gonna wash you myself. We need to clean out those cuts before they get infected.”
He stands under the water for a moment then grabs your soap, lathering your body with it slowly. He takes his time, moving gently and examining you closely. You almost feel like he’s worshipping you.
He takes a breath as he glances at your back and continues to lather you in soap. He’ll bring the burn up later. But for now he focuses solely on cleaning you.
Once he’s done, he reaches out and grabs the shampoo. “Head back, close your eyes.” You do, and he pours the shampoo onto your hair and then slowly washing it and massaging your scalp.
You trembled as your big burn scar on your back was exposed,memories flooded your mind,your mother pouring hot water on you calling you 'useless child'
You flinch and start to tremble as the memories return to you. The words from your mother play endlessly inside your head.
The sound of soap slipping through his hands brings you back to reality, and he continues to massage your scalp without skipping a beat.
He finishes massaging your hair gently, and then he takes the conditioner and rubs it through your hair carefully. He doesn't say anything for a moment until he's done, and then he pulls you against his chest tightly.
He rests his chin on the top of your head as he pulls you even closer. He nuzzles your hair and wraps his arms around you tightly. He holds you so close and protects you so gently. He doesn’t care about your scars or the pain that lingers over your heart. He doesn't know about your abusive past. He just holds you and comforts you, wanting nothing in return but your happiness. "It's okay" he says quietly, kissing the top of your head.
"it's not…ugly?" You asked trembling "i don't remember much..just my mum calling from the kitchen and then..she tooked the pot with boiling water in it that was supposed to be used for ramen and just…poured on me"
"Shh" he says, pressing his mouth onto your forehead to soothe you and distract you from those haunting memories.
"It doesn't matter" he whispers, as the water from the shower splashes.
"I don't care about your scars" he continues softly. "They're part of you. And who you are is beautiful."
The water cascades down your body, making your hair slick. He continues to trace his fingers along your scars, not judging or making any comments. Just… embracing them.
"Scars are proof that you survived what broke you" he says in a comforting tone. He kisses your forehead again and continues to stroke your hair as the water rinses the conditioner out.
"And that alone makes you strong" he says firmly.
"Plus, I think they look pretty. And who doesn't love scars?"
His tone is playful, although you can tell he's serious about not caring about the scars.
You feel like you're stuck in time. His voice is like a lullaby that soothes you. He strokes your hair, and the water makes your skin feel warm. You lean into him, and he holds you tighter.
All of your past trauma… all of your fears. It all feels like it's fading away in his arms. No matter how broken you may be, he'll always be there to pick up the pieces.
After a while, he turns off the water and dries you off with a towel before helping you put on a robe.
His hand runs up and down your back, massaging you and helping you relax. You're so grateful for his touch. After a while, he speaks up, his voice so gentle and soothing.
"Do you have a skincare routine?" He asks, sounding more curious than anything. "I'm guessing…you don't."
"do i look bad? does my skin feel bad?" You asked sounding hurt
"That's not what I meant" he says quickly. "Sorry, I guess I phrased that badly."
He pauses for a moment, thinking, and then gives you a small smile. "Your skin looks healthy. Maybe a little dull, but that's easy to fix. I was just wondering if you had a skincare routine or not."
When you don't reply, he continues "We should work on one for you" he says excitedly. "We can go out shopping together. I can show you the products I use. That would be fun, right? Plus, you wouldn't have to go out alone."
When he asks about shopping with you, he says it so excitedly, sounding like a kid asking his crush on a date.
"If you're the one putting products on me then.." you snuggled into his chest,you hand cupped and covered by the robe sleeve "I guess it will be okay" you mumbled
He chuckles and pulls you in closer. "Does that mean yes?" he asks softly, his hand stroking your cheek.
"And not just for shopping, I can help with applying products. And maybe you can try that face mask I bought. It says it'll give you 'radiant' dewy skin'."
He pauses for a beat and giggles softly. "I think it might look cute on your cheeks" he says, making you laugh too. The sound is so contagious.
Satoru smiles wider and ruffles your hair affectionately, his hands moving to your shoulders. "We could make a night of it. Order some food, and I can do a face mask too. I'm sure it'll look great on me." He winks playfully, clearly making up excuses to spend time with you.
Your eyes flicker to the floor when you realize that's all he wants. Time. As much time as he can make with you. He wants to fill each second of life with you.
“And I’ll tell you a secret.” He pauses for a beat again, and you listen intently, trying to understand what “secret” he would feel the need to tell you. “You’ll be the first person to see me with makeup on” he says in a whisper. “And I’m nervous.”
He chuckles lightly and rubs your shoulder again. The robe slips off your shoulder, and he pulls it back up, fixing it onto your body before speaking again.
“We should get matching face masks” he says. “Y’know, make it cute.” This time his tone is playful, and he grins down at you. “We could watch a movie or something. I’ll even set up a blanket fort for us to cuddle inside” he says, sounding like a child once again.
He’ll do anything for you. And you know that by now. His voice is so soft, and his eyes are warm as he studies your expression.
“And we’ll get snacks” he continues excitedly. “Popcorn, Doritos, chocolate. Do you like Cheetos? I can buy some cheesy Cheetos.”
He pauses, waiting for a response. It’s always cute to see him so giddy. “We’ll make a mountain of snacks out of the blanket fort and lie in it all night” he says, his voice full of wonder.
“I…I wanna make a memory with you, y’know? We can do anything you want.”
He rubs your shoulder again and then your hair. “So, what do you think? Wanna have a skincare night with me? We’ll make it a date night or something.”
He leans in and kisses your forehead. “And then we do the blanket fort the next time. You can decorate it however you want, and I’ll follow along.”
“And then you can tell me all about your scars” he chuckles, rubbing the back of your neck. “We can talk about anything you want.”
A few moments pass, and you don’t say anything, feeling lost in thought. Eventually, you speak with soft voice. “Yeah…” you say, feeling oddly giddy inside as if you’re a kid on Christmas morning. “That would be really nice, actually.”
He smiles and tilts your head up so that he can look you in the eye. “Then we have a date” he says, making his voice sound very enthusiastic. “It’ll be a big skin care night with movie and snacks and…”
“And more snacks, right?” you ask, and he nods enthusiastically.
“I’m gonna do a whole night dedicated to you” he continues. “We’ll focus on your skin, get some good food, and cuddle in a blanket fort.”
Your heart feels like it’s pounding through your chest as you think of all the things he suggested. “It sounds amazing…” you hesitate before continuing. “Do you promise it’s gonna be…c-cute?”
“It’ll be the cutest” he says with such conviction that you don’t know how it could be possible.
“Trust me, everything we do together is bound to turn out cute.” He grins goofily and strokes your cheek gently.
“It’ll be a date night of just us. I can’t think of anything I’d rather be doing.” He pauses for a moment and looks you in the eyes again. “Nothing would be cuter to me than just spending the night with you.”
You grin sheepishly as you stare back at him. Your stomach twists in knots and your skin flushes.
His words are simple but you melt at their sincerity.
His bright smile, his eyes filled with a soft kind of love. Just the way he stares at you and speaks to you fills you with butterflies.
You know that he means every single word; there's no deceit in them.
In the silence between you, you realize just how important he is to you. You can't imagine a life without him in it.
#gojo x y/n#gojo x reader#gojo x you#gojo satoru#satoru gojo x reader#satoru gojo x you#satoru gojo x y/n#gojo satoru x reader#gojo satoru x you#gojo satoru x y/n#satoru x reader#satoru x you#satoru x y/n#jjk#jjk x you#jjk x reader#jjk x y/n#jujutsu x reader#jujutsu kaisen#jujutsu kaisen x y/n#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jujutsu kaisen x you#minors dni#tw depressing stuff#tw depressing thoughts#tw self destruction#tw s3lf harm#reader x character#y/n x character#you x character
80 notes
·
View notes
Text
A Reward (Part Two)
Content Warning: a MC-centered orgy featuring blow jobs
MC
One moment, I'm watching a movie with everyone. The next, I'm back on the bed I was on during Belphie's portion of my chastity test.
"Welcome back," Belphie greets me. He's sitting cross-legged across from me.
"What's going on?" I ask. "This isn't a surprise final, is it?"
"No, no, nothing like that."
"Then what am I doing here?" Belphie sighs.
"We've noticed how tense you've been the last few days and figured it was due to the emotional aftermath of the test."
"I mean, you're not wrong. I know it was designed to push my limits, but damn. It didn't need to be that fucking hard." Belphie chuckles.
"That's why we decided to reward you." That's the second time he's said "we", but the word just now registered in my brain.
"We?" I repeat. Belphie nods his head, smiling. There's no way this is happening right now.
"You mean all of you agreed--"
"Yep," he answers, interrupting my train of thought. "It was surprisingly easy."
"Belphie, I...I don't know what to say."
"Just tell me when you want to begin." I'm completely speechless. The fact that these guys are willing to play out this particular fantasy of mine is something I never thought would actually happen. It's part of why I resisted Asmo's charm for so long; I didn't want him--or anyone else--to think less of me for it.
"Don't overthink it, MC."
"It's not that," I tell him. "It's just...well...why is it happening here?"
"Diavolo was worried that your body couldn't handle the stress of this in the real world, so this is the next best thing."
"But this is only a dream." Belphie rolls his eyes.
"You're forgetting, MC: I can make this feel like reality. That includes leaving evidence that will still be there when you wake up. We're simply taking advantage of the nebulous nature of the dream realm to make this happen for you." I close my eyes, still feeling overwhelmed. Part of me considers having Belphie send me to another part of the dream realm that has rainbows or something less intense than this.
"It's okay," Belphie comforts. "You don't have to worry about a thing. We'll take care of you. I promise." I take a deep breath. The person that I was before the exchange program would have never agreed to do something this slutty. Not because I didn't want to, but because I was afraid of making a fool out of myself.
But I've grown a lot since then, and these guys seem to accept me, flaws and all.
"Okay," I whisper. I feel the bed shift. Moments later, I find myself up against someone's chest as Belphie's lips are on mine. The mystery person's hands reach inside my shirt and lightly slide up my sides, making me shiver.
"Relax," Lucifer whispers, planting a kiss on my temple. "You're allowed to enjoy yourself."
"We don't have to do this if you feel uncomfortable," Belphie adds. Opening my eyes reveals his face inches away from my own. "Just say the word, and we'll stop."
"Please keep going." I sound pathetic. Rather than tease me for it, however, the two men resume their actions. Their hands travel up and down my body as their lips focus on my face and neck. At some point, my shirt disappears. Whether one of them actually took it off or it simply vanished into thin air is anyone's guess.
Lucifer gets off the bed, and Belphie gently pushes me so that I'm lying on my back. Multiple hands and lips immediately begin roaming all over my body, reducing me to pants and soft whines.
"Aaaw," Asmo coos. "You're so adorable, MC."
"We've barely gotten started, and already you're a trembling mess," Satan observes.
"I..." Their constant touching is making me forget what I was even going to say. Something about me not being able to help it?
"Ssh," Simeon whispers. "You don't have to talk, MC. Just focus on us, okay?" I feel like I'm melting.
"Give them a moment," Diavolo instructs, his breath hot on my belly. "They're not used to having this much attention on them. They're probably overwhelmed." Everyone's movements stop as they look at me, waiting for a reaction.
"It's..." I have to really focus to get the words to come out of my mouth. "It's like my brain's turned to jelly."
"Is that a good thing?" Solomon asks.
"I think so. It makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. I'm just not used to it, that's all."
"If I'd known you'd react like this, I would have made this happen a lot sooner," Belphie chimes in. "It's nice seeing you truly relax, MC."
"So, are you good to continue?" Beel asks. "Or do you need more time to recenter yourself?" I take another deep breath. I have a feeling I'll be doing that quite a bit this evening.
"I'm ready." With that, the men resume their touching, keeping a closer eye on my reactions to make sure I don't become overstimulated again.
"You're doing so well, MC," Barbatos praises. "Such a good little lamb." Hearing the compliment makes me whine.
"Oh yeah, I forgot to mention this to you guys," Belphie states. "Well, Asmo may have known already, but it seems as though our MC has a bit of a praise kink."
"Is that true, MC?" Mammon asks, rubbing his hand up and down my thigh. "Do you like being told how good you are?" I hum affirmatively.
"It's nothing to be ashamed of," Levi responds. "I have one, too. It helps boost my self-confidence."
"For me, they help me feel valued," I explain quietly. "They assure me that I'm doing the right thing."
"So, does degradation have the opposite effect on you?" Belphie asks.
"I mean, if that's all you're doing, then yes. I'd probably start crying. But if there are praises mixed into it, then it's not so bad."
"So, if I told you to take my dick in your mouth like the good little whore that you are, you wouldn't have a problem with that?"
"Oh, that got their attention," Asmo quips before I have a chance to answer. It makes sense that he picked up on that; he is the Avatar of Lust, after all.
"Then let's put it to the test." The other men move off me, and Belphie repositions the two of us so that my face is level with his crotch. Out of the corner of my eye, I see Satan, Barbatos, Asmo, and Diavolo all exchange knowing glances. They've all witnessed first hand how I react to having a demon dick in my face, and it's not by acting all shy about it.
Belphie makes the clothes on his bottom half disappear with a snap of his fingers, and without hesitation I wrap my mouth around him, gripping both sides of his waist as I begin moving up and down.
"Fuck!" Belphie hisses. "Where'd you learn to do that?"
"That was my reaction when they did that to me," Asmo responds. "Really threw me off guard at first. I didn't think they even knew how to give a blowjob, let alone be able to excel at it."
"It appears to become the only thing on their mind," Diavolo adds. "They won't stop until you've cummed completely in your mouth, and even then they might continue sucking."
"Hang on," Mammon chimes in. "You mean to tell me that you two received a blowjob from MC before the rest of us?"
"Make that four," Barbatos answers.
"Four?! Now, that hardly seems fair." I briefly stop what I'm doing to tell Mammon that I'd be more than happy to help even the score, so to speak, making him shut up and allowing me to continue pleasuring Belphie.
The next little bit goes by in a blur as I make good on my promise. Mammon's quite loud, Levi babbles incoherently the whole time, Beel mostly growls, and Lucifer and Solomon groan like the old men that they are.
But the one that stands out to me the most is Simeon. After making 100% sure that he's okay with me doing this to him, I go for it. The noises that consequently come out of his mouth are some of the prettiest I've ever heard. It almost sounds like he's singing.
My jaw aches when I'm finally finished.
"Our turn," Belphie states. The bed creaks as he gets on it, pushing me up against the headrest. He then grabs my legs and spreads them apart before positioning himself between them. The gaspy moan I produce when he begins pleasuring me with his mouth appears to be a kind of siren call, for everyone else resumes touching the rest of my body with their hands and lips.
I don't know how much time passes or how many orgasms I have. And yet I can't find it in me to care that much. There's only one word on my mind as they have their way with me: more.
Taglist: @lost-in-time-wanderer, @fuzztacular, @dianedancer18, @sweetbrier2908, @flare-love, @completelyshatteredbrokenmschf, @thunderlightning351, @l3v1chan
#obey me shall we date#obey me mc#obey me lucifer#obey me mammon#obey me satan#obey me asmo#obey me levi#obey me asmodeus#obey me leviathan#obey me beel#obey me beelzebub#obey me boys#obey me brothers#obey me belphegor#obey me belphie#obey me solomon#obey me simeon#obey me barbatos#obey me diavolo#obey me lord diavolo#it is officially two in the morning where i live#thankfully i don't have to be anywhere early tomorrow#you could say that this might have gotten away from me a little bit
58 notes
·
View notes
Text
Been having some ISaT tech level and timeline (as in 'when backstory things happened') thoughts and want to ramble a bit:
Tech
ISaT's setting is based on your classic sword and sorcery fantasy JRPG so its easy to assume that tech wise everything is 'fantasy medieval' and call it a day but consider:
Body Craft is at bare minimum is magic sex changing surgery (earliest known equivent in our world dating to 1930) that any old person can learn to do safely on themselves in only a few months, and more likely has many many broader applications like regular old surgery, the 'combat healing' Mira and Sif use, etc.
Cameras and photos are rare enough that Odile comments on it (namely she's happy the group get a photo in the House due to them being 'so rare') yet are also common enough that everyone in the party knows about them and doesn't question the existence of a camera beyond being surprised that the mirror was one. (In our world cameras date back to the 19th century, with the earliest manufacturing of them being in 1839).
Printing presses and ways to make plenty of paper to feed those presses given absolutely everyone in this game can read, expects everyone else to know how to, and both mass produced book series and newspapers are a thing. (Note: Printing presses have existed since waaaay back but it's the mass paper manufacturing that makes newspapers and The Cursing of Chateu Castle possible that really has my eyebrows raised here, especially since neither Siffrin or Odile find either odd in any way, indicating such things are common everywhere, and while newspapers have been around since 1604 in our world, mass produced fantasy books didn't really take off until the start of the 20th century).
Food production and storage: despite being in the middle of a national disaster that almost certainly cut off trade networks and access to most suppliers for literal months now, Bonnie, a small child, is able to easily get their hands on fresh Pineapple, curry ingredients (for samosa), potatoes, plantains etc with no issues or anyone commenting on this being unusual or lucky. Oh and the only character who even brings up the concept of potential starvation is the Fishing One, and only in a sort of 'we're not at risk now but sooner or later...' kinda way due to noticing that the fish they fish up for fun are disappearing and likely being frozen. So yeah, that heavily implies Vaugarde has very good food storage tech/Craft (possibly better than ours), and likely also good food production and harvesting tech/skills also.
The Island's incredible knowledge of the stars: while the oldest known orrery in our world is dated from around 205 to 87 BC (ancient Greek, earth centric model), the fact Sif -who would've learnt this as a child/teen- is so very certain that stars are big balls of fire made up of gas is interesting as that's something our world couldn't prove the theory of until around the 1900s (note: it'd been theorized a LONG time but Sif talks like its complete facts to them .
Additionally the earliest existing record of a telescope in our world dates to a 1608 patent and we see one of those in game.
Post posting EDIT: A wonderful user qds-place pointed out that Mirabelle has anti-anxiety medication in her room. This is in both ISaT and SAaP and though we're not sure what form the medication takes (pills? Valium? Megitech esc Craft boosters???) the fact they specifically have 'anti anxiety' medication at all (as opposed to idk dragging Mira off and drugging her through the gills) is kind of impressive and if it IS modern anti anxiety pills those could be as recent in creation as the 1950s!
So um. Some high levels of tech implied in chemistry there <3
So... yeah. All this, plus the fact that the highest tech implied area, The Island, literally specialised in the study/Craft of turning wishes into reality (for a long enough time period that Wish Craft is culturally so ingrained in the King and Sif that they do it without thinking and it seems intertwined with their nation's religion) has been completely erased from memory to the point anything heavily associated with them has been forgotten, and also we only ever see Dormont aka a little village well away from the cities, it's not hard to conclude that you can basically justify giving the ISaT world any level of tech you want, so long as you lock any of the truly 'setting breaking' stuff like planes and rockets behind The Island's forgetting curse (I would've said trains too but thinking about it trains were invented in 1802 so it's honestly easy to imagine that they totally exist in the ISaT setting/Vaugarde but aren't ever on screen because rail is way too dangerous to consider using while the Curse is active and potentially time freezing things on the tracks).
Side note: We know absolutely nothing about Vaugarde's transport system but as a fan of fantasy RPGs it is honestly a travesty I have yet to see a fic that has flying dragons/wyverns or other fantasy mounts in setting.
Like, ok yes, the party would probably have wanted to use those but maybe they don't like the Curse and fled? Maybe the King's Curse targeted them first? Maybe all their handlers dropped the heroes off in Dormont and said 'Well Saviors it's been fun, but well me and Scales here are off to Poteria until things wrap up so best of luck to you' before buggering off?
This isn't really a serious complaint just. Me reminding myself/potentially other fanwork writers out there that there's a lot about the setting we just don't know about and limiting all travel to walking, horse drawn carriage and boat is not actually required.
(Also please mix up travelling to the Island. Boats are a wonderful classic and have great thematic vibes for Sif's original leaving of the Island but like. Imagine the sheer in-universe wtf of the memories of The Island suddenly coming back and people on the north coast suddenly realising there's a massive bridge, subway or underwater tunnel leading there that everyone just forgot about - potentially filled with all kinds of Sadnesses that need taking down. Or Warp Panels in a House of Change, idk XD).
Timeline
Canon notes first:
Bonnie is a preteen (8 to 12), Mira and Isa are in their early to mid 20s (with Isa slightly older), Sif is late 20s to 30, and Odile is 40+
Nille is stated to be around 18 to 20.
Siffrin ran away from home when they were a teenager (13 to 17? 18?) and this is heavily implied to be when the Island was Forgotten.
Bonnie (in ISaT specifically*) says that Nille told them that when it happened all the adults were talking about it, hence why they think The Island is close to their village.
*In Start Again a Prologue, Bonnie says that they themself remember the adults talking about the Island disappearing, which er. Is a bit impossible given they likely weren't even born yet when that happened but that can be explained away by AU differences, InsertDisc5 still finalising details between SAaP and ISaT, and/or OG Siffrin having been in the loops so long they weren't actually listening when Bonnie was talking and just 'scripted' in their head something 'close enough' to what Bonnie was saying to get the idea (note: mentioned that idea before in my post here on the differences between the House and King in Start Again vs In Stars and Time for anyone curious so er please feel free to give that a read if you haven't already).
Odile mentions remembering 'when it happened' as well and has been 'travelling for years'.
The King 'appeared out of nowhere' sometime in his adulthood, and lived in the city of Corbeaux for a few years before he became the King.
The King became the King as was freezing people in time long enough before his attack on the House of Dormont that everyone inside knew he was coming, there were a wall's worth of newspaper articles about him, and everyone was expecting Euphrasie to defeat him.
Mirabelle's quest began 'almost a year ago' and Sif lost their eye 'recently'.
Thoughts on the above:
Calculating when The Island was forgotten:
Sif being mid 20s to 30 and having run away from home as a teen means that The Island has to have been forgotten somewhere between 9 to 17 years ago with nine only possible if he ran away at age 17 and is only age 26 now, and seventeen being the far opposite if he ran at age 13 and is currently 30.
To narrow down the timeline: Given Sif ran away from home because he 'didn't want to eat his veggies' and 'just wanted to scare [his] parents a little bit' it's probably safe to assume Siffrin was likely on the younger end of the teen spectrum (teens run off all the time sure but with loving parents and over veggies? That screams 'kid who has not yet learned that freaking out the parents will get their ass grounded and/or yelled at a LOT and is therefore best saved for doing fun forbidden stuff that ideally the parents will never find out about' XD)
Additionally given Siffrin can't remember his age/birthday etc but Isabeau outright says near the beginning of the game "But you're older than most of the people here?" meaning Sif must be visibly older than Isa or Mira, so he's probably closer to 30 than not.
Those alone would imply the Island likely disappeared closer to the '17 years ago' side of things BUT Nille (tops 20 years old) told Bonnie that "[the Island's disappearance] was all the adults would talk about for ages" and kids usually can't remember anything prior to 4 years of age so with that in mind...
I'd say The Island most likely disappeared between 13 to 16 years ago.
Nille stuff:
This is more a general mention but. Nille is tops 20 years old. Bonnie is between 8 and 12 and doesn't remember their parents at all.
This means Nille ran away with Bonnie and gained emancipation and custody of Bonnie (if Vaugarde has formalised that kind of legal stuff) while she was at most 12 years old herself and could have in theory been as young as 6..!
Regardless, it's very likely the original home situation was that bad, Nille deserves a ton of credit for raising Bonnie as well as she has and I'd say it's very VERY likely she had a lot of help from villagers in Bambosche and/or the local House of Change in doing so.
...But also Bonnie is very adamantly 'my sister and village' and not 'my sister and [specific names who live with us]' so there's clearly by the time Bonnie was 4 or so they were living in their own place so... Yeah. Lotta drive for independence there too it seems (so the party might have more trouble adopting Nille into their group post ISaT than Bonnie might expect).
King stuff:
Already an adult 13 to 16 years ago so at bare minimum 33. Given his vibe probably much older though.
Newspapers get printed pretty quick though for there to be so much speculation and research done into his background so quick, either Vaugarde has some form of fast messaging system (something like a Chappe telegraph on top of the Houses of Change? Odile I think does mention that they'll have a message sent to let Nille know they'll be returning Bonnie...) or the King was freezing stuff for IDK around a month or two before reaching Dormont?
Alas can't find out how long it takes to walk across all of France out very easily (I'm sure the numbers are out there but my brain is pudding rn) but if we had those numbers we could probably make some guesstimates based off the rough sketched map of Vaugarde InsertDisk5 did... Which I would link but apparently the tumblr post I had it linked on has been deleted???? 'wails at this very unhappy development'
Mira's journey and Sif's eye:
We really don't know a lot but almost a year ago gives us somewhere around 9 to 11 months to spread the journey out along and after eye removal surgery the patient can out and about as soon as 2 to 6 weeks after, maybe sooner with magic healing (though full recovery/growing used to the changed spacial awareness -which Sif clearly does not have- probably can't be sped up and takes around 3 to 6 months) so um.
I'd guestimate Sif's eye injury is really recent; like two months ago tops recent.
...Which sorta explains a lot of why Bonnie is not dealing with it right now and also why the others might be trying to avoid bringing it up (since Sif clearly loves avoiding the issue but they haven't yet realised that maybe they really should bring it up even if it annoys them anyway?)
Odile with some Ka Bue speculation:
When it comes to The Island, how did Odile, presumably living in Ka Bue at the time, remember 'when it happened'?
Was the Island well known enough even on the other side of the world that it's disappearance made waves? Or was Odile herself or someone she's close to paying attention to the region?
(Like maybe her dad or a friend is/was into politics or trade, keeping up with overseas news and got concerned it could happen to Ka Bue?
I'd say 'I remember when it happened' line implies it was more immediate knowledge than being informed by a messenger much later though...)
As for Odile's 'years of travel' I have to wonder, what's left behind for her in Ka Bue? She brings up going back there quite a bit, might just miss home and possibly her father if he's still alive, but given it took her years to get here for something so personal rather than idk 'materially rewarding' I think Odile might have some kinda family estate or something back in Ka Bue...
Something she wasn't worried about potentially losing while far away, but solid enough to want to return to, beyond her father who she'd definitely want to see again if he's still around. (...But given how open she is to chilling about Vaugarde a few more months with the others, I really don't think he is alive, since well, given their respective ages and travel between Vaugarde and Ka Bue apparently taking years, there'd definitely an uncomfortably high chance of him passing away while she's gone and that seems like the thing that'd stress Odile out so... Yeah. Probably got an estate in Ka Bue she'd like to take the Family to visit/possibly sell off if she decides she'd like to live with them in Vaugarde so... Just my off the cuff headcanoning here and hoping that gives others ideas or something).
---
Anyway that's all the ramble I've got in me so... yeah!
Hope this was interesting and useful for those needing a bit of a 'possible tech'/timeline calcs breakdown for the Island + a few more vague things and um. Probably will post a long winding ramble about my attempt at a ISaT Selkie AU fic I've been working on next <3
(Not to be confused with looped-140-and-counting's already existing and quite wonderful Selkie Siffrin AU which already has a completed oneshot fic, a snippet of sequel, two snippets of prequel/Sif flashbacking and I believe a comic too, all of which I highly recommend <3)
#isat#isat spoilers#useful notes#in stars and time#speculation ramble#isat timeline notes#hope some of my isat fans out there find this useful for their fanworks <3#I know its pretty basic stuff but I find having things laid out clearly handy for working out backstory and what to change in AUs so yeah =#i link interesting things. read selkie sif fic rec plz#isat nille#isat siffrin#isat bonnie#start again a prologue mention! (sorry there's not more than that XD)#thinking too hard about what I can and can't get away with in the big beautiful void that is 'left open to speculation' worldbuilding <3#the forgotten island allows so many shenanigans people are not taking enough advantage of and I will call this out XD#also isat features a surprising amount of 'more modern-ish' tech or magitech that can basically do the same or better so like#Also had way too much fun wiki walking and going 'ohhh that's more recent than I thought. Cool!' and would highly recommend it#please ramble back to me your own random thoughts and notes as I love them even if I'm never sure as whether or not (or how) I should reply
72 notes
·
View notes
Text
what to do when someone makes you feel insecure
✧*. * · ~ thewizardliz 💋💜
✬ i very very very very highly recommend thewizardliz. shes been so helpful to me this past year and if youre not watching her, then what are you doing with your life?? she is the secret which gave me self love and confidence in myself!! i love this woman so much, when she uploads a video my day just brightens☀️.
This post is going to be completely about her video and the points she made. These are just some summaries but it’s best to watch the video bc the way she says it makes all the difference. full credits to this stunning queen for this post. ✬
★ look at the kind of insults someone gives you;
most people hate on others and say nasty things about others because they feel bad about themselves.┊ so what are they insulting you about? your looks, your intelligence, your personality, what is it? remember that "everything someone is insulting you about with no reason- that is something that they are insecure about with themselves." when someone says something to you, understand that it's just a reflection of themselves. and then just pity them and leave bc u dont need that kind of negative energy around you baby💅
★ find yourself. create yourself. KNOW WHO YOU ARE.
"when you know who you are without this person, no one can shake or rock your boat! your boat has to be stable first." you need to learn to be so stable and secure in yourself that whatever comes in, it cannot affect you in anyway! if someone comes up to you and says "you're purple" would you take it seriously? no ofc not!! you may even laugh in their face because you know that you're not purple so whatever anyone says- it does not affect you. so those insults would go 1 ear in, and through the other ear out.
★ never allow anyone to talk down on you.
when you allow someone to talk down at you for the first time, then it wont stop. they will just keep going on and it will only get worse down the line. "toxic people dont get nicer down the line." so once you tell them to stop and they continue, that is officially disrespecting me. you can leave, cut them out of your life.
★ give them a passive aggressive comment back.
(in the video liz gave some examples of things to say back and DAMNN she ate it up!) just adopt the ✨bimbo mentality✨ and act stupid :)
example from her video:
someone: "you dont look good today... you look kinda ugly"
liz: "aww thankyou, you know i love to look at you and everyday you just give me inspiration to be confident because if you look like that and you can be confident, then i can too."
UMMM OKAYY SHE ATE THAT AND LEFT NO CRUMBS 😋😍
★ are they even worth your time and energy??
absolutely not. those people are WAYYY beneath you honey. walk away. just walk away from these pathetic people. you will find SO MUCH better than them for they are literally UNDER THE BARE MINIMUM. "if someone has to insult you to bring you down, girl you're already above them"
also look at the people you're constantly spending your time with. do they help you? do they grow you? do they add ANY kind of value?? no? then why are they still there?? why are YOU still hanging around them??? bc when does your life change? when YOU change.
★ we accept the love that we think we deserve.
why on earth do u think that this is the best you can do?? why do you think that someone who disrespects you is the best you can do? do you really think you're not worthy of the same amount of love you give out?? there are literally people out there who believe that they deserve the best and they get that! but you here are doubting yourself?? huhh?? honey what??
★ what do YOU want?
so many times we're constantly thinking 'how can we make this person happy' , 'what does this person want' , etc etc. but what about you honey? what do you want out of life, out of your relationships, etc.?
genuinely, they should actually feel BLESSED to be in the same room as you, to breathe the same air as you. and here you're letting people come and talk down on you? like are you serious? PROTECT YOURSELF.
★ surround yourself with people that grow with you.
people who you surround you with, they should make you feel like the king/ queen of earth! they are meant to hype you up! they should tell you that you're amazing and beautiful! because if you don't then theres no benefit. why be with icky toxic people when you can be with people who will love you the way you love them?
"im too pretty to accept this behaviour".
★ lead with your actions, not your words.
its time you stop saying stuff like "im gonna leave if you continue doing this" , "i will do this... i will do that.." no. just leave. you've said it once and they continued? shut up and leave.
start to create your exit plan. i understand that for some people, they arent able to just leave because of problems related to money, health, knowledge, a community etc. so thats why you need to start creating an exit plan.
if its money you need then start thinking: how can i get money? what job? how can i save up to live on my own?
if its friends so you don't feel lonely: how can i make friends? can i join a club or a community with people like me? how can i start to meet new people?
if its knowledge so you understand more about it: how can i start to educate myself about this? can i go to a library and find a book on this? can i search it up online? is there anyone else who's been through the same think and i can take advice from them?
★ not everyone you lose is a loss.
sometimes a loss is a gain. if people in your life right now have been disrespecting you and now they've left or you've left, thats a gain!! looking back the people i was friends with before- i needed them so i could grow and gain knowledge. and when they stopped being a significant part of my life, that was a gain. "it wasnt a loss, it was a lesson"
"just know that you're the queen of the earth and you can do and get anything you want if you set your mind to it."
"if you have a good heart and pure intentions, then you deserve people with the same intentions and the same heart."
#agirlwithglam🎀✨#vanilla self improvement⭐️#vanilla girl#quotes#thewizardliz#thewizardliz mindset#it girl#that girl#dream girl energy#dream girl#it girl energy#self improvement#becoming that girl#self development#girlboss#self love#girlblog#girlblogging#self worth#becoming secure#self validation#self growth#self help#thewizardliz energy#levelling up#productivity#femininity#self confidence
52 notes
·
View notes
Text
“i wish i knew you wanted me”
farleigh start x gn!reader
summary: a very short thought while i work on the others
content warning: mentions of alcohol and drinking
a/n: hehe
the glare of the party lights are getting too much for you. suddenly you became hyperaware of everything that’s happening and everyone surrounding. the music’s getting too loud and people dancing, bumping against each other is making your skin crawl. you need to get out or you’ll drown under the toxins of the place.
-felix notices you pushing through the crowd, your face obviously irritated. he’s standing near the exit, and has been watching the clashing vibe between you and the rest of the room. but you wont take his word for it, he’s probably more drunk that anyone else the way he’s holding a whole bottle of alcohol, feeding it to the girls surrounding him.
just as you’re about to pass him, “noo you’re leaving already ?” “yeah it’s getting too much for me” your response makes him groan in annoyance. “maybe you haven’t drank enough, here have some you’ll feel better” he offers, the alcohol splashing inside the bottle pushed towards you. imagining the liquid running down your throat makes you sick. you’re not sure what’s with you today but you’re just not having it. you shake your head at him. “whatever mate, i dont even know how farleigh could fancy you” he shrugs as he continue dancing. your ears ring at what you just heard. “what ?” you ask through the crowd as he’s getting away, hoping he could hear you
you need to listen to the exact words coming out of his mouth once again. to make sure. to make sure that all your feelings towards farleigh that you’ve been pushing down your throat all these while atleast carry some meaning. you never expect them to be reciprocated anyways but it’ll be nice to know you mean something to him. you realise that the two of you barely know each other yet you can’t help falling for him as each and every day pass. your friendgroups would hang out together, if you call sitting together at the pub just to drink hanging out. seems more like alcoholism club to other people. also, as far as you can remember, farleigh’s never really paid you any attention, you’ve barely talked. just exchanging glances and if you’re both really trashed you’d sit together on the couch, legs tangled and giggling to each other about whatever silly things caught your eyes. atleast so you’re told. but he’s just so cool, you’re drawn towards him, his wits, his sass, his attitude, as long as you’re not a victim of it. you’ve always found yourself chuckling at whatever rubbish he has to say about people.
so when you were offered some sort of- something, anything- from farleigh’s end you’d want to really listen. you’d really want to know. felix’s no use now, he’s making out with some girl you saw drinking off the bottle earlier. you search for farleigh who’s also here. he should be near. the room’s not that spacious anyways so everyone’s just sorta cramped together. you push through the crowd, ignoring the fact that you were gonna bail, to grab farleigh’s wrist before dragging him out. you walk a distance with him behind you, forced by his wrist in your hand. you hear him curse out a string of protests. he’s tipsy- partially drunk so he’s just whining about wanting to get back. you let him complain before gaining his attention naturally.
“is it true ?”
“what ?” he’s quick to answer, not having any idea what you’re talking about
“that you like me”
he straightened his back, his body stopped moving so much. he lets out a slow breathy groan, his palm reaches his forehead.
“fucking, felix-“
“so is it true”
“look i know you must’ve heard it from felix but shit— i used to, for a little while-“ his voice stern, like he’s trying to prove himself
“-dont even know why but i dont anymore, okay ?” he looks at you, you refuse to display any expressions, not wanting him to get a slight idea of what you’re feeling. the last bit of what he just said somehow really hurt you. he ‘doesn’t even know why’; he said it as if he didn’t want to
as he walk back to the party you hear him apologise. he doesn’t even know what for but he did anyways. you step back until your heels meet the wall. you lean back sighing, thinking about the things that could’ve been if only you knew
taglist: @june-ebgert @radioloom @themoonchildwhofell @love-me-pls @imjustheretoreadsmuthaha @fuckshitslover @szapizzapanda @khxna
#farleigh start one shot#farleigh start smut#farleigh start imagine#farleigh start fanfic#farleigh x reader#farleigh saltburn#farleigh imagine#farleigh start x reader#farleigh catton#farleigh start#farleigh x you#farleigh fanfiction#farleigh smut#farleigh start angst#farleigh start fic#farleigh start headcannon#farleigh start saltburn#farleigh start x you#farleigh start x fem!reader#archie madekwe#archie madekwe x fem!reader#archie madekwe pic#archie madekwe fluff#archie madekwe angst#archie madekwe fic#archie madekwe fanfic#archie madekwe smut
46 notes
·
View notes
Note
here's my request:
jimin and yn being exes and meeting again at their best friends wedding (the groom is jimin's best friend and the bride is yn's)
their friends know that they still love eachother, so they make them sit together, but they bicker for the whole celebration.
when it's time to leave, she doesn't have a ride home, and jimin offers himself to take her to her place. Once they get there, she asks him if she wants to go upstairs, to have a final drink.
They talk about their break up, and when he's about to leave, he kisses yn and have make up sex against the kitchen counter 💥
Just a taste
a/n: First of all, thanks for making the request for Jimin, it's my first time writing about him and that makes me very excited 😀, secondly, sorry for the delay, the request ended up being much longer than I thought it would be.
Warnings: A littly angst, Jimin is a sweetheart, exes 2 lovers, soft sex (there was no specification on this, so I did it as I thought it went in the situation), reader has problems with overthinking the future too much, unprotected sex, sex without prior lubrication (please don't do this, you could hurt yourself).
wc: 5.3k
"Stop looking at me" you whispered in annoyance, not deigning to look at Jimin.
"Stop thinking I'm looking at you" he whispered as he rolled his eyes and folded his arms, "Not everyone revolves around you, you know that?".
"why don't you shut up and go to hell?" you snorted, crossing your legs and watching as your best friend gave the first waltz of the night next to her now husband and best friend of your ex.
"I've been there" Jimin leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees, "Don't you think it's ironic that you're asking me when you're the one who took me there."
"Fuck you" you got up from your chair, walking towards the exit door. You needed a drink of alcohol, or maybe a breath of fresh air, either sounded good at the moment. Committing murder at your best friend's marriage was stooping too low.
You took advantage of the fact that most of the guests were too busy watching Soomin and Taehyung dance and stole a glass of champagne from one of the tables that had been abandoned. You downed the drink in one gulp and then abandoned it on another empty table.
It was unfair that everyone was enjoying the party and you had to put up with your idiot ex.
When you opened the door that led to the gigantic garden that the event center had you were surprised to notice that it was much colder than when you arrived. It had only been a few hours, but it was enough to set foot outside to make your skin crawl. And that it's still spring, you thought to yourself, walking towards one of the benches that were under a roof covered with vines.
It felt good to be away from Jimin, from his rude comments, from the scent of his perfume, from his fluffy lips, oh, you still remembered what a good kisser he was. The two of you could spend hours just giving each other lazy kisses and discreet touches on your clothes.
You took a seat on the bench, letting your head fall back, letting out the air you were holding in. You watched as the smoke drifted out of your mouth until the whitish cloud was completely gone. You wanted to go home, but you also didn't want to abandon your friend on her special day, Jimin was an idiot, but he was right in saying that not everything revolves around you.
"Y/N?"
You almost screamed in shock when you saw Soomin standing next to you, staring at you with those big, bright eyes that could convince anyone to do anything she wanted. That same look was the one she gave you when she asked you to be her maid of honor.
"Minnie, what are you doing here?" you sat up straight, smiling slightly when you saw that Taehyung had given her his jacket to cover his bare arms from the cold. He seriously was a great guy. "You should be with your husband dancing... or doing whatever it is couples do at their wedding."
You couldn't help but laugh as his cheeks flushed slightly at how you had called Taehyung.
"I came to find you, it's so cold out here" she walked to your side, taking a seat on the same bench as you. It was hard to make herr dress not use up all the available space. "I saw that Jimin was alone at the table and I got worried."
"Ah, Minnie, you're so sweet" you hummed with a smile, taking her left arm and kissing her cheek smilingly, "Don't worry about me, it's your day, enjoy it."
"I want my best friend to enjoy it too" this time it was she who smiled at you and took your arm, resting her head on your shoulder, "I'm so happy, but I'd be even happier if you were too."
You almost shrieked as you listened to her. You had made too many bad choices in your life, being friends with Soomin wasn't one of them.
"You should watch what you say, at this rate I'll end up falling in love with you and want to kidnap you from your wedding," you both laughed, she stroked your arm and you just looked up at the ceiling, watching the vines hang gracefully. You liked this place.
"Let's go inside, I don't want you to get sick" Soomin turned to look at you, barely smiling.
You couldn't say no to her, so as soon as she got up from the bench, you stood up and followed her silently, hoping you wouldn't run into Jimin again.
"Y/N, honey!" shouted Taehyung with a smirk, raising his hand and shaking it so you could both see where he was.
You couldn't help but feel a twinge of envy as you saw Soomin's look change completely at the sight of him. You wanted something like that too.
"I'm glad you guys are back" Taehyung said as soon as you were in front of him. Yes, just him, you preferred to completely ignore Jimin's existence. "It's almost time for your dance."
"Who's going to dance?" you asked curiously, looking towards the dance floor.
"You and Jimin, who else?" laughed Taehyung, grabbing Jimin's shoulders and pulling him closer to you. "You're the second most important people in the place, obviously you must dance together."
You were regretting earlier. Taehyung was a lousy person, he deserved the worst in the world.
"What the fuck, Taehyung?" you heard Jimin say in a low voice. He sounded even more annoyed than you.
"Come on, don't be shy, it's just a dance, no one's going to die because of that" he gave Jimin's back a few small pats. "Besides, it's our wedding, you should, I don't know, cooperate a little."
And with that said, you were both dragged onto the dance floor, not before you elbowed him in the side and he stomped on your foot.
"What are you still doing here?" asked Jimin, walking past you to the parking lot.
"What do you care?" you snorted, hugging yourself as you felt a strong wind current crash against you. It was barely three in the morning and you already felt like you could turn into a block of ice. In your good years you could last until six in the morning, snow and all. You were out of practice.
Jimin turned to look at you, watching your body tremble slightly. He noticed how you looked down the street, shifting your weight from one foot to the other as you checked your cell phone.
"You didn't come by car?" This time he turned completely around, walking towards you. Just because he couldn't stand to be in the same place as you didn't mean he'd leave you here stranded all alone in the middle of the night. He wasn't that much of a psychopath.
"Some idiot crashed my car and told the police it was my fault" you muttered, not taking your eyes off the street, "they took my license a year ago" you snorted as you remembered the fight you had to put up to get them to believe you. It didn't do any good.
"Are you still living in the same apartment?" Jimin started unbuttoning his suit jacket, getting close enough to be able to put it on your shoulders.
You turned to look at him, frowning, why was he asking you that? Worse, why was he handing you his jacket?
"Uhm, yeah, I still live where I always do, why do you ask?" you took his jacket, trying to make it cover as much skin as possible. You didn't want to talk to him, but you wouldn't refuse his help either. The sack wasn't to blame for anything.
"I'll give you a ride" he pointed to his car with his head, "it's better than standing around waiting for a car to come by, and less dangerous than calling an uber and having, I don't know, some creepy guy touch you and want to take advantage of you."
You glanced down the street again. You bit your bottom lip slightly, trying to think through your answer. You didn't want to be alone with Jimin, but he was right, it was too dangerous, especially at this hour. The way to your house wasn't exactly short, at least you had forty minutes, in an uber you could only go alone with the driver. You'd be lying to say that the idea didn't scare you even a little bit.
"Fine" you muttered, watching him walk towards a big black car. It looked pretty expensive, he'd surely been given the promotion he'd worked so hard to earn. It wasn't like you cared either.
You hurried to his side, not taking your eyes off your feet. You wanted to get home soon.
"Here" he whispered close to your ear, opening the passenger door for you.
For a second you thought your heart stopped and your lungs had decided to stop working. Luckily for you, it was just your imagination.
"Thank you" you nodded quickly, getting into the car and grabbing the seatbelt. Jimin had shut the door as soon as you were comfortable in the seat.
You took a breath, feeling your body temperature rise a little at a time. The car was much warmer than outside.
"Ready," Jimin said once he was inside. You watched as he got the car started and prepared to drive, "You can sleep on the way home, I don't mind," he murmured, resting his right elbow on the back of your chair and leaning back to look at the parking lot.
You had to pretty much resist the temptation to watch his arms flex.
"Thank you," you murmured, settling in next to the window. You'd a thousand times rather pretend to sleep than look Jimin in the face as he drove. You wanted to avoid awkward silences.
You closed your eyes and let the warm air from the heater hit your face and relax you enough to fall asleep.
When you opened your eyes you were only a few minutes away from your apartment. You straightened up in your chair and gave a big yawn. You checked the time, it was only three fifty in the morning. You couldn't believe you had slept fifty minutes.
You lifted your head, seeing Jimin's seat empty, you looked all around the inside of the car, and no matter how hard you looked there was no sign of him. You saw your window, feeling your heart race as you saw that Jimin had parked the car in front of your favorite German food store.
You had to bite your tongue to keep from squealing.
It wasn't long before Jimin came out of the store with a large yellow bag in his hands and the car keys in the other. A slight blush adorned his cheeks when he looked up and noticed you staring at him.
You had forgotten how easy it was to make him blush.
He walked to the car door, offering you the bag once he was inside.
"Here," he murmured, looking anywhere else but at you.
"Why did you buy me this?" you took the bag, opening it and looking at the food inside. It was your favorite food.
"You said you were hungry in your sleep" he started the car again, heading straight for your apartment. You couldn't help but watch him the rest of the way.
"Thanks for giving me the ride" you bowed slightly, looking at Jimin. You didn't understand why he had escorted you to the door of your apartment, but you didn't want to discuss it either, you thought it was unnecessary.
"It's nothing, I wouldn't feel at ease knowing that something bad might have happened to you" he nodded awkwardly, scratching his neck.
You turned your back on him, putting your password on the door. The click of the lock broke the silence that had fallen between the two of you. You opened the door slightly, pausing for a few seconds. Memories of the day you broke up came rushing back, causing your heart to clench to the point where it became impossible not to wince.
You didn't want to regret again about something to do with Jimin.
"Don't you want to come in for a drink?" you turned around, watching as Jimin's eyes widened in surprise. He hadn't expected you to extend an invitation after everything that happened at the marriage. "I just... I want to return the favor."
He nodded quickly, rubbing his hands down the sides of his pants in a futile attempt to push away the anxiety. He couldn't believe you were seriously inviting him into your home after all this time.
"Come in" you murmured, entering your house with the sound of his footsteps behind you. It had been years since you had invited a man into your home. The last time was when you broke up with Jimin.
You left the bag of food on your kitchen counter and walked over to the cabinet that held your collection of yellow tulip plates. You left two of them next to the bag so you could empty the food inside.
Jimin, on his side, was too distracted looking at the new decoration of your house. The last time he set foot in this place all your walls were painted in a pastel yellow color, full of pictures of abstract paintings and strange photographs that he never fully understood. He also remembered that you had a large collection of pictures of him on your TV cabinet. Both the furniture and the TV had been completely changed for much more modern objects, not to mention that the cheerful paint on your walls had now gone to a beige color, and the abstract art on your walls were now just pictures and paintings of the world's most famous cities. He didn't want to think too much about the fact that his pictures were nowhere to be seen anymore.
"Do you want a beer?" you asked aloud, your head completely stuck in your cooler.
Jimin responded with an affirmative sound, too distracted noticing the differences in the place. Somehow he felt it looked pretty good on you, but that uneasiness that something didn't quite fit the mood was still swirling around in his head.
"Okay" you muttered to yourself, looking at both plates. You couldn't remember when was the last time you ate with someone here, you couldn't even remember when you had last eaten at home. You hated being here. "I've already served the plates, are you coming?".
He nodded as he walked over to you, taking a seat in front of the vacant plate. He felt a little embarrassed to realize that you now knew he still remembered your favorite dish, was that too strange?
"It's so yummy" you moaned contentedly once you tried a bite, "it's been so long since I've eaten this, I've been so busy."
"At least that explains why you're so thin" he murmured, taking a bite of the food into his mouth. He hadn't tasted this food in a while either. He missed it more than he thought he would.
"I only lost ten pounds, it's not for you to exaggerate" you rolled your eyes, stirring your food. You weren't sure how to bring up the subject of your breakup, but you knew it was the last chance you would have to clear things up.
You were both silent for a few minutes, both of you aware of the tension in the room, but neither of you were able to take the first step and break it. You were afraid of opening yourself even more to him, and Jimin was afraid that you would reopen the wound you had left him five years ago.
In the end the only person who was able to take the first step was him. As always.
"What happened to us?" he whispered, staring at his plate. You could tell his lips were moving slowly as he chewed his food.
What had happened to you? Even you weren't sure about that. With Jimin things had always been easier; he knew what you wanted without you telling him, he knew how to read your gestures, he knew your tastes, he loved everything about you, inside and out, the good and the bad. Jimin was the best boyfriend you ever had in your life, and he probably would have been the boyfriend any 20-year-old girl would have wanted. So what had happened to you?
"I've been wondering ever since you broke up with me," he set his fork aside. His plate was now empty, but he still wasn't able to take his gaze off of it. "Did I do something wrong? Was I too persistent? Did I not show you that I loved you enough? Did I not give you enough?" he let out a sigh, letting his back fall against the back of his chair, "I know it's been five years, but I still can't figure out what my mistake was."
You tried to swallow the mouthful in your mouth, but the lump in your throat wasn't making it easy. You wanted to sort out the ideas in your head a bit before answering him. He probably still hated you, you wanted him to, you hated yourself for saying the things you said to him, for treating him the way you did.
"Don't try to find the answer in you" you set your plate aside, knowing you would be unable to continue eating in the state you were in, "it wasn't you who did the wrong things, it was me." You took a breath, taking all the strength you could muster to look Jimin in the face. You wanted him to notice how sincere your apology was. "You were... you were one of the best things that ever happened to me, and there isn't a day that goes by that I don't regret leaving you the way I did, or leaving you in the first place."
"You regret it?" the look on Jimin's face finally lifted and confronted yours. The lump in your throat grew even tighter. "That's no reason to have kicked me out of your house and your life without any explanation and without letting me decide about it, you didn't even give me a chance to tell you what I thought! You blocked my number, you didn't answer when I knocked on the door, you avoided me at all costs" his fists clenched slightly, "I deserved an explanation, just one reason, no matter how stupid it was, would have been enough for me to decide if I wanted to fight for what was ours or just let you go and find my own way."
Making eye contact with Jimin became increasingly difficult as his words became stakes that dug into your heart. You knew he would hold a grudge, but to hear it from his mouth, to hear it in his voice, that was another level, and you weren't sure if you could get through it without bursting into tears midway through.
"I know I owe you an explanation" you tried to say it firmly, you wanted to sound sure of what you were saying, but it was hard when Jimin was in front of you staring at you, "that's why I asked you to come in, I needed to clear things up."
"Well, go ahead, tell me what happened" he folded his arms, turning his body towards you.
"I was afraid" you mumbled, lightly burying your nails into the skin of your fingers, "We had been together for four years, you were all I knew until then, I wasn't sure if that was what I wanted in my life, I didn't want to continue to be with you and live in fear that at some point in our lives we might just stop loving each other" by this point you are no longer even able to look him in the eyes, or even his face. Your eyes stung and the urge to vomit was getting bigger and bigger, "I didn't want our relationship to end up like some sort of worn out marriage, where both parties are horn to other people, where you're not even able to remember the good memories anymore, and I know it sounds stupid, but I was young, and I had a great imagination, and I just.... " you took a breath, letting your head fall back to stop the tears from coming out of your eyes, "I wanted to keep our relationship like it was back then, I thought that maybe, if we broke up before everything was ruined, we would still be able to look back and not forget the beautiful thing we had, and you don't know how much I regret doing that because now I know that all of that was just my mind trying to make a problem out of nothing because of some stupid insecurity, and because of that I lost you, and you were really the only good thing I had up until then."
"Okay, wait a minute, calm down a little," he said in a soft voice, rising from his chair and taking your shoulders. As soon as you felt his hands on you, you burst into tears. "Hey, it's okay, don't cry" he pulled you close to his chest, allowing you to cry on his shirt, not caring if it was stained or not.
"I'm so sorry" you whispered, clinging to his waist as if your life depended on it, "I know I was stupid, God, I said such horrible things to you, I was so cruel, I didn't even think that about you, I just thought... maybe if I acted like a bitch to you you would think badly of me and it would make it easier to forget me".
"I never forgot you" he murmured over your head, gently kissing your scalp, "and I don't think I ever will."
You awkwardly wiped away your tears, pulling away from his chest long enough to see his face, "Really?"
He nodded, cupping your cheek and wiping away the tears you had let out a few seconds ago, "I remember absolutely everything. How you loved to sleep cuddled up to me, or how you loved to walk down the soap aisle and smell each one to guess which one I bought" he left a kiss on your forehead, not letting go of your cheeks, "I also remember how you always kept an instant camera on your nightstand so you could capture my face as I slept; I remember how always after you did that you would touch each of my features and leave kisses on them" this time he kissed your cheek and his hands went down your shoulders until they stopped at the level of your waist, "I also remember how you liked to take your time kissing me, and that you were completely incapable of fucking without having a long kissing session before". You closed your eyes as you felt Jimin's forehead rest against yours. You could feel his nose pressing against yours gently, and his lips were so close that every time you moved them you could feel them brush against yours. "But there is one thing that no matter how hard I try, I am unable to remember."
"What one thing?" you whispered, leaning closer to him.
"Your taste" caressed your lower back, pulling on you just enough so that both breasts were stuck together.
"It's okay," you nodded, licking your lips, "that can easily be fixed.”
And you kissed him, and, oh my god, you really wouldn't ever regret that.
You wrapped your arms around Jimin's neck, pulling him to you, trying to make the space between you practically nil. You needed to feel him close, you needed your body and mind to assimilate the fact that it wasn't a complete stranger who was in front of you, it was Jimin, your Jimin, the same Jimin with whom you had your first time, with whom you almost got to live in the same house, the same Jimin who helped you follow your dream of being a photographer without thinking about what others would think. He was the only person you had come to love, and you had finally gotten to have him back.
Jimin gripped your waist tightly, sitting you down on the kitchen counter.
It could be years, but Jimin would never tire of kissing you.
With slightly trembling hands you began to unbutton his shirt, needing to feel his skin against yours as soon as possible. Jimin, on the other hand, was concentrating on pulling your bridesmaid dress up to your waist. He couldn't help but barely open his eyes to see your underwear. He couldn't help but let out a groan when he saw that they were your favorite color.
Once you managed to remove her shirt you pulled it off as far as you could, letting your hands roam along his chest. You roamed over every part of his torso that had been exposed, stopping at his lower back so you could caress his dimples. You loved them so much.
"Lift your hips a little" he whispered in your ear, lowering his hands from your waist to your hips.
You quickly obeyed, leaning up just a little, just enough so that Jimin could remove your underwear. You took the opportunity to unbuckle his belt and unzip his pants.
Jimin tossed your underwear somewhere in the room, hastily nipping at your neck and shoulders as his fingers neared your center.
You almost cried out when his fingers brushed your clit. It had been months since you had been with a man, which was already surprising considering how sexually active your life had been during the time you were with Jimin. There was practically no day when you didn't have sex. You had been out of practice, and that made you much more sensitive to his touch.
Your hands, trembling from the constant spasms that Jimin's fingers were causing you against your entrance and clit, focused on pulling down Jimin's pants and boxers, smiling internally as you heard him let out a moan as he felt his cock spring free.
You couldn't help but take it in your hands and fiddle with it. Jimin had the most beautiful cock you had ever seen.
"I want you inside" you whispered, making your head back to give Jimin more accessibility. "Now."
Jimin gave you a quick glance, his fingers still fiddling with your clit, massaging and tugging it to his liking, "Now? But-"
"Never mind, I want it now" you insisted, grinding your hips against his, eliciting a moan from him, "I missed five years of this, by this point it's a necessity."
"God, you haven't changed at all" he chuckled softly, taking his cock in his free hand to guide it to your entrance.
He moved the head of his member all over your entrance, sometimes going past it and taking advantage of rolling your clit. You could only respond to him with little moans, gasps and movements of your hips.
"Just shove it in" you grunted, pressing Jimin's head on your neck.
Jimin scoffed softly, starting to push his cock into your pussy. This time it was both of you who screamed.
You really missed this, even if it caused a burning in your pussy from not being lubricated enough, feeling Jimin again made that burning even exciting. You missed him so much.
"You're still just as tight as ever" he grunted into your shoulder, trying not to move so as not to cause you some kind of pain.
You had no interest in holding on. You'd finally been able to have Jimin inside you again, you'd make the most of every fucking second.
"I'm fine," you murmured, grinding your hips against his, "so stop torturing me and move."
"You sure?" he pulled away slightly, watching your face. You couldn't help but feel your heart race at the sight of Jimin's excited face, with his fluffy glossy lips and misty eyes… he looked like an angel.
"More than sure" you nodded quickly, kissing his face.
You almost drew blood on his back after he delivered the first lunge.
He was quite slow at first, his lunges were slow but steady, he would take care to pull his cock almost all the way out, only to bury it in your pussy with a lunge. It wasn't until he felt you were sufficiently lubricated that he began to increase the speed of his lunges.
And it felt like heaven to you.
It might have been 5 years, but Jimin still remembered perfectly what points to touch to bring you to the top in just a few minutes. Or at least that's what you thought after he hit your G-spot directly as soon as his onslaught started to get stronger.
You moaned quite loudly when he touched that spot.
"Your breasts are so cute" he hummed contentedly once he removed the sleeves of your dress and let them fall down until they freed your breasts, "so round and soft, I love them" he murmured, bringing his lips to them and leaving messy kisses around your nipples.
By this point you barely understood what he was saying.
"It feels so good" you whispered between gasps, resting your hands on the counter, leaning your chest closer to his lips, "so fucking good".
"Shit" Jimin grunted, resting his head on your shoulder, "how could you possibly be so tight?" he groaned softly, holding your hips so he could increase the speed of his onslaught, "it feels even better than I remembered."
You nodded awkwardly, using one of your hands to wrap around his neck and kiss him. Unlike the kiss you gave each other at the beginning, this one was much messier. It was all desperate tongues and teeth clashing against teeth.
"Faster" you sighed against his lips, squealing as you felt Jimin grab your waist and lift you off the counter, pressing his body to yours and allowing himself to increase the speed of his onslaught. Your whole body trembled as he used his fingers to pull on your clit as his cock slammed into your G-spot with force.
"I feel so close" he whispered, gritting his teeth as he felt his cock twist inside you. You felt so warm, wet and tight that it was almost impossible not to climax so quickly.
"M-me too," you gripped his shoulders, closing your eyes tightly, "Fuck, I seriously didn't remember you being so good."
Jimin replied with a chuckle, lifting you off the counter and pressing you against the kitchen wall. You groaned as you felt the cold crash against your back. "You still have a weakness for fucking against a wall?"
You didn't reach to answer him as a wave of pleasure built up in your body and was released the instant Jimin thought to press you against the cold wall of your kitchen. Honestly, you couldn't remember the last time you had come this way.
You moaned loudly as you felt Jimin's onslaught continue to get faster and messier. Your pussy burned from how sensitive it was.
"I-I cum" he growled in your ear, clinging to your waist and letting his seed fill your insides.
You were both silent for a few moments, trying to slowly come back to reality.
Jimin's gaze was glued to the junction of his cock with your pussy, watching as a mixture of his cum with your juices dripped to the floor. He couldn't help but feel embarrassed.
"Sorry, I'll get something to clean the floor and-".
"No," you murmured, clinging to him with arms and legs, just as a sloth would cling to its branch, "Just…can we stay like this a little longer?"
"You want me to hold you against the wall?" he frowned, slightly confused. His legs would kill him the next day, but he was willing to do it if that's what you wanted.
"No" you rolled your eyes, looking Jimin in the eyes, "I want to feel you inside me, just a little more" you kissed his bare shoulder, marking a path from his shoulder to his jaw, "My room is the last door on the right. Let's stay there for a while, until tomorrow, please."
Jimin let a smile grow on his face at hearing that you would let him stay at your place tonight. The idea that this meant a second chance for you made his heart pound. He wondered if you could feel it now that your head was attached to his chest.
"Okay, let's go to your room" he whispered, leaving a chaste kiss on your crown of your head, "then let me take care of the mess we left, it was partly my fault."
"Since you insist…" you laughed softly, letting Jimin carry you to your certain in his arms.
You missed that feeling so much. You hoped and prayed this time you wouldn't ruin it.
Masterlist.
#bts x reader#bts x you#bts fanfic#bts imagine#fanfic#bts x fem!reader#bts x y/n#fiction#bts x oc#jimin x female reader#jimin x reader#jimin x y/n#jimin x you#jimin x oc#taehyung x oc#park jimin x reader#park jimin x you#park jimin x y/n
31 notes
·
View notes
Text
Sunday sad day - alternative universe where Buck didn’t say anything to anyone. He mended things with Eddie without the coming out part.
So Tommy is patient, so patient. He knows how coming to term with your sexuality “later” in life, or at least after your school/college days, when you think you finally know yourself, can be difficult.
So staying down low isn’t an issue. And to be honest even if they were a straight couple, you’d not necessarily announce to everyone in your life that you’re dating somebody after just a month.
Also a month is so short ? 4 weeks? And their schedule is crazy, they barely saw eachother’s. They text continuously but it’s hard to get off time at the same time, especially when you can’t just come out and say “hey can I leave earlier I have some things with my partner” because you’re not supposed to have a partner.
And a second month is barely more than the first tbh. It’s just 4 more weeks; even less if the second month is February. Well it’s not, but still, it could.
They met a little bit more, dates and even sleepovers. Still above the belt but it doesn’t bother Tommy. And two months is so new, it doesn’t even register as an issue.
It’s been 6 months now and he doesn’t remember how many times he had to see girls flirt with Buck while they’re out with the 118. The 118 who still doesn’t know. And Tommy loves Eddie but if the man tell Buck to embrace the attention and stop refusing to talk more than 5 minutes with a girl, Tommy might break one of his bones during their next Muay Thai Fridays.
It’s 7 months and he got an invite to the 118 thanksgiving party at Bobby and Athena’s house. And he’s leaving early faking an illness.
He couldn’t stay any longer, not when the girl that Eddie brought as a surprise blind date for Buck is spending the night looking at Buck and flirting with him.
Not when Eddie is winking at Buck like he’s trying to push Buck to do something.
Not when each time his own eyes meet Buck’s he sees how uncomfortable he is and he knows he can’t say anything.
Not when his heart breaks at seeing the guy he likes, the man he can feel his heart longing for sit there and let it happens, not after the secrets they whispered into eachother’s bodies during their nights together, not after the endless texting and calls.
So he leaves, he thanks them all and let the bottle he brought behind. He leaves and stay in front of the house for 7 minutes, he watches them go by, wondering, hoping truly that Buck would come after him.
He leaves when the 8th minute starts.
His phone buzzes before he reaches his place.
“I’m sorry” - Evan
“Don’t worry about it” - Tommy
He wishes sometimes that he never accepted Buck’s call all these months ago.
It’s 8 months now and Christmas is here, the 118 is throwing a party at the station. Families and friends. The place is packed.
This time when he leaves he takes the bottle with him, after all he didn’t have time to put it down. Not when he walked in and saw that same girl half draped over Buck while they sit on one of the couches with Eddie who looks like the canary that got the cream.
He doesn’t have to do the actor this time, he just pulls his phone to send a simple :
“Hey, I’m sorry. Some emergencies came up and I won’t be able to come” - Tommy
He sees Buck pull his phone and smile at it as he see the notifications, that smile is enough to have him take one more step inside, especially when he sees it fall as Buck reads the text and he cannot not try to take the frown away, but then that girl move further over Buck trying to see the phone and Buck flip it so fast, pushing it in his pocket with a weird grimace, and Tommy stops moving.
He doesn’t count the minutes when he’s outside, no need anyway since no one even saw him. He goes back to his car in silence, or well as in as much silence as possible when the opened doors of the station let their laughs resonate in the street.
He feels his phone buzzing in his pocket but it’s not like checking it is urgent. Not when his night suddenly got free.
He drives away, turning before the station so he doesn’t have to see it, because if he doesn’t see it the way his heart hurt may stop.
He doesn’t see Buck outside with Chimney next to him.
“I was sure I saw Tommy earlier, he was just standing there. He came in and like just stayed for 2 minutes here and he left.”
Chimney goes back in and Buck stays outside in front of the station.
#bucktommy#evan buckley#evan buck buckely#tommy kinard#tevan#buck x tommy#tommy x buck#911 abc#evan buck buckley#buck and tommy#evan x tommy#tommybuck#kinley#not edited#not beta read#making myself sad and I hope I can make you sad too
28 notes
·
View notes
Note
Can’t stop thinking about riding Trevor in his chair and fucking in his desk in the strip club office omggg the dirty talk, the way it would lowkey be rushed in case anyone walks in😭👀
I'm too lazy to proof read so sorry if it's all sillay :(
FAVOURITE GIRL
Summary: Quality time with Uncle T in his office!
Pairings: Fem!reader/Dom Trevor Philips
TW: Smut! (he's a bit of a pervert in this)
Word count: 1003
He made a low grunt when you sat down bare, his warmth greeting yours with compassion as the chair beneath him shuddered at the extra weight.
“Sugar, sugar…” His voice purred against the crook of your neck. “Move a little closer, just a little – fuck… Perfect… Yes, fuck.”
You had corrected yourself directly onto his cock, a small breath leaving your lips and making your legs turn to jelly. You also felt his thighs clench up at the intimate contact – his arousal becoming animalistically unbearable.
“God, I love your pussy.” Trevor murmur and wrapped his hands loosely around your hips like a saddle on a horse, encouraging to you slowly ride, the office silent apart from the background noise of your skin slapping together.
It was hard not to whimper. His harsh fingers with substances of grub and dirt traced your sides as he assisted the way you moved into his exposed lap. You felt him stiffen whenever the contact came close and he always looked between your body and the door, always alerted in case someone walked through and disrupted the mid penetration.
So you followed his gaze after feeling the uncertainty.
But he quickly captured your attention by moving his hand further up your back with a small grumble of his deep voice. “Hey, hey. Eyes over here, beautiful. C’mon…”
“Is the door locke – “
“Shut up,” He breathlessly silenced you. “That don’t matter. You should be feeling good right now. Uncle T’s treating you well, ay?”
“Yeah, yeah…”
“Where’s the euphuism, treasure? I needa make you scream.” Trevor grinned with his full sets of yellowish teeth before grinding you into his lap harder – his attention detached from the door and onto the way you reacted; breath hitching and words stumbling out like a token of pride.
He kept on going until your volume increased to his desired amounts.
“Fuck!” You grunted. “Yes, God…”
“You like that?”
“Mhm.” Your lips sealed shut as the two of you continued to fuck about on his desk.
“That’s my girl…” Trevor muttered then stood you up. His hands guided you to his desktop where he bent you over, his fingers caressing your backside before examining the brutality of your pussy; his lips twitching as a result of your wet nature since it drooled from his fingertip when stroking the surrounding pubes. It was exactly what he wanted, furthering his roughness and replacing his finger with his needy cock, warming you up again by rubbing it between your inner thighs.
The change of positions made your adrenaline spike. His desk was covered with dirty magazines and ashtrays, so you had the delights of ingesting his natural scents of tobacco and filth. It brought you comfort more than anything – better comfort than most smells. His offices stunk of sourness due to his hygiene and addictions, but you had outgrown the disgust, finding it arousing as he pushed inside you.
“Fuck…” Trevor whined, thrusting in and finding himself comfortable, repeating the procedure again while you were hung over his desk.
“Mph – “ You muffled out a sweet moan when he began to rush since the rattling of the door suggested dancers walking out from the stage which was merely down the hallway. It made you shudder, falling against the desk and grunting his name.
“I know, Angel. Uncle T’s gotcha…” He reassured with a rough voice.
“Oh – Yes. God.”
“How’s my girl doin’?” A lockful of your hair was tugged backwards as he wanted to see your face. Trevor smirked; satisfied and cruelly enjoying the way your face looked when thrown back. “Aren’t you the sweetest fuckin’ thing, ay?”
“I’m gonna cum.” You whispered pathetically.
“Oh yeah?”
“Please – “
“Playtimes almost over?” He gave you a playful frown, his grip increasing. “But, sugar, I love being with you. You gonna hold it together while you can, babe?”
“Bu – “
Trevor tugged your head back more as his lips grazed the tip of your ear. “Don’t be like that to Uncle T, sweetheart. Hold it together until I say so.”
It was an order to restrain the urge so you squeezed your eyes shut and took him in repeatedly. His praises encouraged you, his hips becoming unbearably fast as he wanted to toy around dangerously before anyone could walk into the office to clock out.
“Fuck, Trevor.” You couldn’t help but moan – his torture making you sexually frustrated.
“I’m almost there, sugar…”
“Trevor. Pleas – “
He gritted his teeth. “Keep talkin’. Baby, fuckin’ speak.”
“Fuck… Fuck…” You stared ahead as he fucked you quick. The moment he wanted you to speak, words were struggling to form and you felt him grow tensely impatient by the ways his hips ruggedly slammed against your backside. It made you jaggar forward and grabbing his desk for support.
“Speak to me, Angel.” He repeated in a broken whisper.
“I want to.” Pathetic as it sounds, you only whimpered and looked back at him, his face scrunched and hands digging into your waist. He was close. It made you lose willpower as cum seeped from your sex. You couldn’t even express the pleasure since he was still fucking you through the climax, your cum being smeared all over his cock that was already stimulated by his longingness to release.
Trevor exhaled sharply and thrusted one more time – deep inside you – his hips cuddling against your backside, his frame closing in on you before he came.
“Oh, fuckin’… God! Love me!” He cried into your ear.
The desk underneath you stopped rattling, but instead rocked backwards at the pilling up weight of Trevor’s body falling into yours fully. You moaned softly at his orgasm, feeling all warm and used, his cock staying inside you until he said otherwise. Which was okay. You wanted him to stay inside you; for more than he thinks.
Your breath was weak and it barely made a noise, no matter how hard you tried to talk to him.
“God. You’re my favourite fuckin’ girl.” He took the hint and spoke for you. “You gotta run along now, Angel. I won’t keep myself together if I’m still inside you when that clock ticks another second.”
It was tempting to challenge his words but you knew he was a busy man, so you leaned up, his cock flawlessly falling from your pussy, making you feel empty and cold.
“Beautiful.” You heard him murmur, his hands rubbing your hips again. “I’ll give you a call later. Don’t fuck around without me, yeah?”
“Mmm. Okay, yeah.”
“Yeah, what?”
“Yes Uncle T.”
“That’s my girl.”
#trevor philips#grand theft auto 5#gta v#grand theft 5#grand theft auto#gta 5#trevor gta#grand theft auto v#trevor philips/reader#trevor philips x reader#trevor philips fanfiction#trevor philips headcanons#trevor philips/you#trevorphilips#my fanfic writing#my fanfic#my fanfiction#my writing#requests#grandtheftauto5#gta community
35 notes
·
View notes
Text
updates on the current situation (5/6):
85 dead and 134 missing (confirmed). over 200k people lost their homes, with around 47k of them in shelters and 153k at a relative's/friend's house. over 1.1 million people affected in 385 out of 497 cities. thousands of people across the state have no water or power supply, and we won't have those for at least a couple weeks. it hasn't rained in the metropolitan area but it has in the southern cities.
the main tv channel, Globo, finally acknowledged the tragedy properly but we all know they're doing it only because they have to. when it was still raining and flooding everywhere, they literally only reported the Madonna show in Copabacana. they would speak about RS for 10 minutes and her show would get 30 min. honestly, nothing wrong with the show or anything (frankly i'd love to be there and not just because we're currently underwater) but they should've been more sensible. this is one of the worse catastrophes in the history of this country and they basically said "okay we hear yall we just want to see Madonna first ok then we'll talk about whatever yall are going through". and just now they're sending reporters to talk about us. i might be overreacting but this feels so fake and like they don't actually care about us, even if they do.
anyways, it makes me happy to see everyone in the community helping each other. there are so many volunteering that some shelters had to formally announce they have more than enough to help and this makes my heart so full. ofc there are terrible people everywhere (and there a LOT here) but the good ones are stronger. i was struggling to see humanity but it's here, in every volunteer and rescuer and anyone who's taking their time to help in any way or another, be it sheltering friends or donating. we the people are the ones who are actually doing the most so yeah this is also a huge fuck you to the government who's not even doing the bare minimum 👍
sorry i ranted a little to much on this one but i had a lot to say lmao good night
#thanks for caring though it really means a lot to us#rio grande do sul#brasil#brazil#climate emergency#climate catastrophe#climate crisis#climate change#fuck capitalism
26 notes
·
View notes
Text
humper • khj
hongjoong gets a puppy.
warnings: pet play, collars, one face slap, pet names, blowjob. you’re a dog sorry
—————
At first you were pissed when your boyfriend marched into the living room and demanded you come to the studio with him. It was a Saturday, a rare day off for both of you, and you were planning on spending it lazing around in your pyjamas, not at his work, no doubt ignored in favour of whatever track he’s working on this time. It soon becomes clear, though, that Hongjoong has other plans.
The first clue comes before you’ve even left the house. While you’re choosing your outfit, he suggests a turtleneck — or “anything that will cover your neck”. Eyeing him suspiciously, you pull on a black sweater dress with a high collar which seems to satisfy him.
On the walk to his car, his grip on your waist is tighter, firmer than usual. It’s the type of grip he has when he’s dragging you to the bedroom right before he ruins you. You stare at him, trying to pick up a sign of what he’s planning on his face, but his expression is blank.
When you finally arrive at the building, it all becomes clear. Before you can take off your seatbelt, he turns to face you, and pulls from his pocket a black leather collar. It has a buckle to tighten it and a loop at the front that you realise with probably less horror than you should that it’s for a leash.
“What’s this?” You ask, knowing the answer but needing confirmation that you’re not going crazy.
He smiles kindly at you, placing the collar gently in his lap while he explains. “The other day when we were drinking, Seonghwa said you act like a puppy and your reaction was…telling,” he says and you blush at the memory. You definitely hadn’t played it cool, turning beet red and loudly denying the accusation to anyone who’d listen while, as only Hongjoong noticed from his spot beside you, your legs squeezed tightly against each other.
“Oh,” you whisper.
“And I remember at the start of our relationship, when we were talking about kinks and stuff, we mentioned pet play,” he continues. “But then I mentioned something else that started another discussion and we never revisited it. Having thought more about you and just how… puppy-like you are, I thought now would be an appropriate time to do so.”
You gulp, lost for words. You eye the collar in his lap with shock, anxiety and longing. You hadn’t thought much about pet play ever since that first conversation after which it had soon slipped your mind. But Seonghwa’s observation, and your flushed, heated reaction to it, had brought up new, uncertain feelings within you. Like the desire to kneel at Hongjoong’s feet, naked and leashed, while he pets you and tells you what a good fucking dog you are. And your observant boyfriend had apparently noticed, and seemingly taken action. And the sight of the sleep black collar is the final confirmation for you that this is what you want.
“Can you put it on?” You have to force the words out, barely managing a whisper. This is overwhelming.
“Of course,” Hongjoong smiles. “Come here, honey.”
He grabs your hair, gently pulling it towards himself so that he can fasten the collar around your neck. He pushes two fingers between the collar and your neck as he fastens it, leaving you room to breathe. “How does that feel, baby? Too tight?”
You shake your head, feeling guilty. “No, Joong. It feels perfect.”
He smiles lovingly, and for a moment you get lost in those eyes, just as you always have from the day you met. He pulls the neck of your dress back up, covering your new collar entirely. You feel a twinge in your stomach at the realisation that you’ll be walking through the company halls, past strangers and staff members you’ve spoken to before, wearing a collar on your neck that your boyfriend had put there. It’s thrilling.
“In we go,” he says cheerfully, normally, and rounds the car to open your door and excitedly tug you towards the building.
The walk from the building entrance to his studio door is the longest of your life. Though your collar is safely hidden under your dress, leaving the whole company none the wiser, a nagging feeling in your stomach tells you that they know somehow. They know what you’re wearing, what you’re doing. It clouds your brain and your vision and by the time you reach the studio you’re clinging to your boyfriend like a lifeline.
He shoves you in gently, following closely behind and closing the door behind him. He smiles reassuringly at you. “You did a good job, pup,” he praises. “You almost passed for human.”
You choke, face reddening and he laughs. He comes to stand at your side, grabbing your hand.
“Look,” he says, pointing under his desk, and for the first time you notice the bundle of white fluff right where his feet will be when he sits down. It almost looks like a dog bed, but… bigger.
“Joong…” you whisper. You gaze darts between your boyfriend and what seems to be your new bed in disbelief.
“What do you think?” He asks. He sounds almost nervous, as if he’s worried he’d got the wrong signals from you, or taken it too far, or scared you off entirely. But he seems to notice your reddened ears, flushed cheeks and the way you slightly press your thighs together when you stare at the bed, because he relaxes, confidence returning. “Ah.”
You look up at him. “Will I just…lie there?”
“If that’s what you want?” He smiles. “You’re just a puppy now, aren’t you? Puppies do what they want til they’re trained.”
Your stomach twists almost painfully. “Trained?” You squeak.
“Of course,” he nods, face serious, but the glint in his eye tells you he’s amused by your reactions. “But that’s a talk for another time. For now it’s up to you. You can just lie there, or sleep or whatever. But there are… other options too.”
You flush, gaze dropping to the floor. You know the implications. It wouldn’t be the first time you’d pleased Hongjoong from beneath his desk, hand gripping your hair tightly as he forces your head down on his cock. But it would be the first time you did it in a dog bed.
“The other options sound good,” you mumble.
Hongjoong hears you and smiles, cheerfully clapping a hand against your back like you’re his friend at a football game. “I knew they would,” he says. “Good puppy.”
You can’t help the giggle that slips out at the praise and he tilts his head, amused by you, before his face turns serious. “Right then,” he starts. “I think that’s enough walking for you. Be a proper puppy and get on all fours.”
You drop embarrassingly quickly, settling on your hands and knees and looking up to him. He pets your head slightly, letting you nuzzle against his hand when he cups your cheek.
“I’m going to walk over to my desk now,” he says slowly. It feels weirdly nice being talked down to like this. Like you’re dumb. “You will follow me on all fours. Then you’re going to kneel between my feet and stay. Do you understand?”
You nod eagerly and he hums, satisfied. Though he’d spoken to you slowly, his quick pace is unchanged, and you almost trip over your limbs in an attempt to keep up with him. He sighs as he sits down, gesturing you towards your position between his feet. He smiles slightly at you, stroking behind your ear, before his leg winds back and kicks your knees apart.
“That was a pathetic display,” he says disappointedly. “Even puppies know how to walk properly. Why can’t you?”
You bow your head, both out of shame and a desire to hide the look of arousal that no doubt covers your face. You’ve never felt so small, so pathetic, or so… Hongjoong’s. Only he can treat you like this. Like his property. His pet.
“You’ll need a lot of training, won’t you?” He says. He sounds kind but you know better. You know he’s planning the varying and creative ways he’s going to break you as he speaks. “Poor thing. I bet you were the runt of your litter, weren’t you?”
You white sadly, shifting on your knees. You’re certain you’re soaked through your underwear, barely concealed by your short dress and now on display for your boyfriend. “Spread your legs more,” he says. “I want to see how much my puppy’s enjoying this.”
You obey quickly, so aroused you don’t even register how humiliating this is, spreading your legs at your boyfriend’s feet so he can inspect how fucking soaked you’ve gotten from being treated like a dog. He leans down to see, brows furrowed in concentration. “Pull your panties to the side,” he orders. You feel your slick coating your fingers as you pull the wet fabric to the side to expose your pussy.
Hongjoong smiles at the sight of your wetness, suspicions confirmed, and sits back up. “I’m going to put my cock in your mouth,” he tells you. “So we can see if you’re useful. But it’s not a chew toy, do you understand, puppy? Bite it and you’ll get hit.”
You nod your agreement, eyeing his crotch hungrily. It’s almost embarrassing how quickly you’ve slipped into this role, disregarding your dignity and happily debasing yourself at Hongjoong’s command, openly drooling as he finally pulls out his cock. “Suck it then.”
You crawl towards him, pulling his cock into your mouth. It’s a familiar position, a familiar feeling, but there’s something about the way he’s treating you that makes it even better than usual. You suck at it hungrily, licking and suckling just the way he likes, the way he’s taught you. He groans occasionally but his focus is on you, steely gaze set on your head as it bobs on his cock. When you throat him particularly deep he almost falters, eyes closing for a moment as his mouth falls open. “Fuck,” he breathes. “Not such a runt after all, are you?”
Spurred by the praise, you go faster and harder, your hands gripping his thighs to anchor you to his cock. It’s only when he laughs coldly, pressing his foot against it, that you realise your pussy has somehow found his foot, grinding against it in a desperation for some kind of stimulation. “Oh, that’s embarrassing,” he snorts. “I didn’t take you for a foot humper, baby.”
He pushes your head further down on his cock while his foot lazily presses against your pussy, granting you the friction you’re desperately chasing. “Focus on me, girl,” he says. “Pleasure is for trained puppies.”
You nod as best as you can, voicing a muffle agreement around his cock. He lets you keep sucking at it until you can feel he’s almost close, shaking and gasping in his seat, then pulls away abruptly. You whine loudly like you’ve lost your favourite toy and he slaps your face. He pulls you up by the hair, planting a kiss on your sweat-soaked forehead and pulling you towards the couch.
“Come, puppy,” he says. In the haze of subspace, his voice sounds almost distant. “Let’s start your training.”
—————
yeah so i have no excuse for this but let me know if you like this. it’s 3am and i haven’t proofread but i hope that’s not too obvious. been really into witting ateez lately but ive also got some skz and exo in the drafts. reblog and comment if u enjoyed. love🖤
#ateez smut#ateez hard hours#ateez x reader#hongjoong smut#kpop hard thoughts#kpop hard hours#kpop smut
34 notes
·
View notes
Text
This is for the Anon that wanted Seonghwa angst. I made it it's own post since the ask was so long but here it is. FYI, to any other Anon's, I openly welcome emoji anons. :)
Blogs: @demtttt couldn't tag you :/ @belladonna6-6-6
Tags: angst, Seonghwa speaks before thinking, talk of car crash, not much else i can think of.
"You're what?" "I'm sorry, Mn, I just-" "You're leaving me to go across the country? I-I can't live without you, Hwa." "Mn, you're sounding clingy, you can live without me."
You stared at Seonghwa, wide eyes slowly filling with tears as you stood from the swing set, standing in front of him. Your childhood park was empty and broken down, not really used anymore but the still standing swing set was where you and Seonghwa had most of your small dates and where you first met Seonghwa. "Take it back." "What?" "Take it back, you know how i feel about being called that, take it back." "You are though." "But you know that's how I show affection, it's not clinginess. How could you call your boyfriend clingy?" "About that..."
Inside he really didn't want to but he had to. He felt like he'd be kicked as a trainee if anyone found out. "About what?" You look at his eyes that are brimming with tears and watch as he removes a bracelet from his wrist. "N-No, Hwa, what are you-" It was the bracelet you made for him when you both started dating, a couples bracelet you called it instead of a friendship bracelet. It had beads with your nickname spelled out on it and yours had 'Hwa' on it.
"I-I think it's best if-" "Don't you dare break up with me." "It was hard enough facing our parents, I don't want anyone at the company to find out." "You're ashamed of me." "No, No, Not you-" "You said we'd be together forever, Hwa! Now your backing out just cause you're embarrassed that someone will find out that your gay?! That you have a boyfriend?!" "Mn, just listen-" "No, I see where I stand..." You take off your bracelet, snatching the other from Seonghwa's hand before pulling your arm back. "Mn, wait!" He wasn't quick enough to catch them as you threw them into the forest next to the park.
"Enjoy your life in Seoul." With that you run out of the park, shoving the low gate open as Seonghwa called out to you, one hand wiping your tears before you run down the street. "Mn!" He walked out the park a second later but you were gone.
A few days later, he was in Seoul, beginning his training and in his free time he tried to reach out to you but you never replied or he got a 'Message Not Sent' when ever he texted you. You blocked him, he realized. He really messed up and he can't even fix it.
He sulked as he closed the car door. He had just come back from his friends house which greeted him with a for sale sign, a red *SOLD* sticker made his chest feel tight. He was hoping he'd be able to apologize to you for what he did and how things ended. If he had to tell the truth, he'd say he still loves you.
He barely got to the door when his mom opened the door. "Seonghwa! Oh, honey, welcome home." "Hey, mom." "Well you don't seem very happy for debuting as a K-Pop Idol. What's wrong?" She steps to the side and lets him in, giving him a hug before bringing him to the dining room.
"What's wrong?" "I really wanted to apologize to Mn and tell him that all the dancing was worth it." "Mn? Ln Mn? Oh, hon, the Ln family moved out." "What?" He face fell as he stared at his mom. "Yeah...Actually, it was sold a week ago, they moved a month ago. Mrs. Ln told me they were moving to Shanghai because her mother-in-law's health was declining and they moved to help her father-in-law who's mobility wasn't the greatest." "They moved to China...." "Yeah. I'm so sorry Hwa..."
He felt so bad for what he did about halfway into his training. He regretted everything he said to you and he missed your hugs, your kisses, your gentle touch. How could he ever say you were clingy, what he did was unfair but it was already too late.
"I heard he visited the old dance club. Even until his last moment he was here he spent it dancing." "It's a good thing he's still dancing." "Yeah. Now come on, seemed like you needed a talk." "Where you taking me?" "Appa's out back. He doesn't know your here, silly." "Oh, right."
Years later, Seonghwa was rushing around backstage, running in and out of every room trying to find Wooyoung. He was told the boy was going to the bathroom but never found him.
They were at Music Bank for an award ceremony and there was a lot of idols there but there was one he just happened to bump into during his search and one he very much wasn't expecting at a k-pop event.
"I'm so sorry." "It's okay, are you looking for someone?" "I am-" Seonghwa pauses when he sees their face. "Oh my god, Mn!" He smiles widely, hugging the male and not even noticing the others confused expression. "I'm sorry."
"U-Um...S-Sunbaenim? You know me?" Seonghwa pulls back completely shocked. "W-What?" "I-I mean i-it's really an honor to meet you, Sunbaenim, I really admire you and I'm kind of nervous now knowing that you know me." "N-No, you- Don't you remember me?" "I only know that you're apart of Ateez. I really look up to you guys, I think you guys are so cool." "What...Sunbeam-" "Sunbeam? Oh! You saw my movie too!! You know my characters nickname, Oh my gosh, that's so cool." You gush, bouncing on the balls of your feet.
Seonghwa refused to realize that you truly didn't know him. He felt like he was floating aimlessly in space and his head started to hurt. "You don't know me..." "I do know you-" "No, me. W-We were childhood best friends, we...we were each others firsts..." "O-Oh, I-I don't...I don't remember any of my childhood, I'm sorry. I-I only know your from Ateez." You then see the smiling face of who you would say your best friend is waving you over. "I'm sorry, Sunbaenim, I-I have to go." He watches you walk away, crashing into a tight hug and laughing with your best friend, Felix.
"Hey, you looking for me? Sorry, got caught up talking to..." Wooyoung notices the far off look on Seonghwa's face and follows his gaze, watching as Hyunjin comes up to the both of you, giving you a hug and then whisking the both of you elsewhere.
"Hyung? What's wrong? Did Mn say something bad to you?" The male inhales shakily, his chest tight as he clenches his jaw to stop a sob from escaping. "Hyung, woah, what's wrong?" Wooyoung was suddenly directly in front of him when he heard a small whimper.
"Th-That was Mn...m-my friend from Jinju..." "Oh, your first boyfriend, right?" "Y-Yeah, h-he doesn't remember me..." "Well, there's may be a reason. Maybe your parents know?" "Uh, right, maybe...maybe they still talk to his his parents."
He pulled out his phone and Wooyoung stayed with him the whole time. When his mom answered the phone, he was greeted by a different voice. "Hello, Mrs. Park is unavailable at the moment, this is Mrs. Ln, can I take a message?" "Mrs. Ln?" "Um, yes, who's this?" "I-It's Seonghwa, ma'am." "Oh! How are you?" "U-Um, I-I'm currently at an award ceremony but-" "Oh, Mn is there too. It's so amazing that he's gotten to this point and he hasn't been doing it for long." "About Mn..."
He hears her sigh on the other end before speaking. "You ran into him, didn't you." "Yeah..." "Um, when we were in China with his grandparents...we were driving one day to go see his grandmother in the hospital and...we were being his grandfather along as well. Everything was just perfect until...well, some hot head sped a red light. We were already in the intersection and..." He voice choked up and Seonghwa told her to go at her pace. "It crashed into my father-in-law and Mn's side of the car. They were going 90 and..." She takes a deep breath before she says something else. "It's your son. Telling him about Mn." She must've been talking to his mom.
"They were going 90 and...I don't mean to dampen your mood but Mn wouldn't be at that ceremony today if it wasn't for the amazing team that fought to keep him alive." "What...Ma'am, what was the last thing he remembered?" "Oh...he couldn't remember anything before...before you left. I mean he remembered the dance club and barely any of his school life but...he only remembered his family. I'm sorry, Seonghwa, but he couldn't remember you."
He inhales sharply, staring ahead as he processes the information, now processing the scar that traveled from above his eyebrow to his upper lip. "The scar..." He whispered to himself. "Yeah, I'm glad that he embraces it. If he didn't, he wouldn't have followed his dreams." With a shaky breath he exhales. "Tha-Thank you, Mrs. Ln." "You're welcome, dear. Good luck, okay?" He hung up, his arm dropping to his side.
"Hyung?" "He...He got in a car accident...h-he lost a lot of memories he...he forgot me..." "Oh..." Wooyoung moved to wrap his arms around Seonghwa who was stock still. He wanted to apologize, to take him back but what can he do now?
He knows everything about you but how can he start over when you don't remember him? He doesn't know what to do, he feels stuck.
Wooyoung took him back to their seat where he almost remained motionless. He looked calm and seemed to be enjoying the different groups but inside he felt almost crushed.
He lost his Sunbeam and now his world feels dark.
23 notes
·
View notes
Last Seen Blogs
opaljm
only you can take my heart
mikkajeaan
Love Yourself
mikkajeaan
Love Yourself
mikkajeaan
Love Yourself
guardian3255
Telesto Enjoyer