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#and I am very very very grateful someone took pity on me so my phone turns on again
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Damn, that survey about jam on toast really has me wishing we had bread (and butter) because I could DESTROY like half a loaf all by myself right now.
Which of my menagerie of maladies is to blame for me craving salt and fat above all else?
I don't fucking know.
Even day-old bread costs like $4 a loaf now. And butter, that shit's like, double digits for a pound.
I don't remember the last time I could eat enough to actually feel full.
I say, while just wanting fucking. Bread.
Hit me with the peasant scraps. I will take your stale heels and I will be delighted.
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xxmaxwellxx · 2 months
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Very sorry but can someone help me find another twst fic? It was more like headcannons but it’s where reader was at a masquerade/ball type event and rollo was there, my memory isn’t the best so forgive me, but I think rollo and reader dance and the boys watch with jealousy but I remember rollo taking reader out on some kind of balcony and either trying to kiss reader or convince them to leave the boys. I’m pretty sure it was the second one with him spouting off something about purity. I remember Azul for sure being in this one and I think malleus was in there too but I think they kiss reader in front of him or take them back inside at the end of their respective headcannons. Edit: here’s the link! https://www.tumblr.com/cyn-write/731537190125961216/i-feel-her-i-see-her
If anyone could help me I would be very grateful. Also if you recognize my username/me asking for help so many times and want an explanation I’ll leave it under the cut because it’s probably going to be me trauma dumping.
Hi, I’m Max. I have an anxiety disorder. The reason I’ve asked for help so many times and in so many fandoms is partly because of my anxiety. I recently got a new phone and I’ve had a hard time adjusting because all the screenshots I have of the fanfic I’ve read is on my old phone. If you’re wondering why I haven’t just airdropped the screenshots to my new phone it’s because I had so many screenshots that it took up all 64gb on my phone, not all of them were screenshots but about half of my storage was taken up by them. And when I think of a fanfic that’s not in my new camera roll I panic, and when I can’t find it by googling it or looking for it here on tumblr I panic even more. Just a few days ago I spent eight hours looking through my old phone for a fanfic that wasn’t even on there, I found it eventually but I was in tears begging whatever god that would listen to help me find it by the end. If you’re wondering why I get so worked up over fanfic of all things it’s because a few years back when I first found fanfiction I was depressed and suicidal do to living conditions I won’t go into, I used it as an escape so I wouldn’t have to face reality and ever since then fanfiction became such a huge part of my identity that I couldn’t imagine myself not reading it and I genuinely panic over not being able to find the ones I’m looking for. I’m on medication and looking for a therapist, I’m getting better I think, but it’s been hard. Im not trying to guilt trip and I’m not writing this for pity or sympathy or anything like that, I just think that where I post in so many tags, sometimes multiple times, I owe people an explanation. I might just be over thinking it but I imagine someone scrolling through their favorite tags and seeing me there and helping me out and then seeing me over and over again and getting annoyed so I feel like I owe people answers on why I’m asking for help so much. I feel guilty asking for help so much but I genuinely loose sleep over this. I’m very grateful for the people helping, trying to help and have helped me. It’s why I try to thank them even if they didn’t find the one I was looking for, just knowing people are willing to help puts me at ease and I usually post my requests for help before going to sleep because just talking about something with people who know what I’m talking about or is in the same fandom as me puts me at ease. If I’m annoying I’m sorry but just putting something out there where there are people who are willing to help and don’t judge me for it helps me sleep at night. Sorry for rambling and call me stupid or crazy or anything like that but I’m trying to get better, I really am and putting posts out there with the hope that someone can help calms my anxiety. Even if I don’t get a link or answers or get to reader the fic again just posting and talking about it helps me, like letting go of it and letting it drift away. Thank you for reading and I’m sorry.
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heeseung-min · 2 years
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[04:20]
You stared at the screen for few minutes before groaning sadly at the not so good exam result. You were pissed. Pissed at how you have done so many revision but still couldn't get the result you want. Fuck education.
"I wish I can get Albert's brain."
Jake stared at you with pity. He really wished he can hug you and comfort you now but too bad what he can do only staring at you from your laptop camera he hacked.
Later that night, Jake got an idea. He wrote notes for the subject that you got worse result and planning to ask you to be your tutor tomorrow.
---
Jake waited for your class to be over. Thank god he doesn't have any class today so he doesn't need to be rush over something. He knew your schedule and where your classes might be.
See, Jake's friends has been calling him a creep for doing those things but Jake swear he is not! He just loves you and really cares about your future. Although he wishes you both to get married and you will be the housewife and he will going to work to bring money and spoil you with everything. He smile at the thought. Maybe one day it will happen. His daydream stopped when he heard someone was calling your name.
"Miss Y/n."
"Yes, professor?"
"We need to have a talk. About your result."
The poor girl just follow her lecturer to his room. She can predict what will be he nagging to her. Jake slowly follow them from behind and stopped at the door. It's a grateful when the room is far from the hallway so it gets a little privacy and he also can heard the conversation very well.
"I believe you have seen your result yesterday, right?"
"Yes."
"In the class, everyone got good result especially on my subject which is physics. But you aren't."
Okay. That kinda hurts your pride. But, it's okay. It's for the better future.
"I'm so sorry professor. I already did many revisions but luck is just not on my side."
Your lecturer lowkey staring judgingly from up to down when heard those. The old man must not believe what you said.
"That's good. However, I have another solution for you which is getting a tutor especially from the senior."
He then took a list that has names, pictures and number phones. There are some of the pictures you recognized but some aren't.
"Here is the contacts of some seniors that you can refer to, they are doing really good on this subjects. Or do you want me to arrange it?"
"Yeah, I want that. Also, can you arrange Park Jongseong for me? He is my friend so it is easier to learn from him."
Your professor nodded and dismissed you after that. You can't wait to have tutor session with Jongseong aka Jay. He is your crush actually and that what makes him become your first choice for the tutoring. Since you guys know each other already, you can spend more time with him.
You walked to the gate happily thinking about your crush not knowing someone was watching you with jealousy and furious inside their heart.
-----
It's the day for the tutoring. Your professor had informed you that your tutor will be at the library so you quickly ran to the place not wanting to make him wait for too long.
When you reached there, it was only a library staff in it and no other students so you went to take a sit and for Jay to come. However, after 10 minutes of waiting, you became worried when there is no his presence until a guy talked to you.
"You are Y/N, right? The one who needs Physics tutoring?"
"Umm yeah, and who are you?"
"Oh! great. I'm Sim Jaeyun but just call me Jake. I am your tutor for this subject. Nice to meet you. You look beautiful by the way."
You blushed at the sudden compliment and thanked him too but at the same time you are a bit disappointed that it was not Jay. You ignored it and proceed to the tutoring.
Jake kinda having hard time to teach you because he always got distracted by your expression when listening to him. He gets to wonder what expression would it be when he says that he loves you, when he shows his room that its wall full of your pictures and even in his drawer there are some of your clothes he had stolen too. He wonder how would you react to it.
You guys must feel weird how Jake is the tutor and not Jay? Jake has his own way to make sure everything is his.
-----
"Oh, Jake! What a surprise to see you here. May I know what is your curiousity?"
"Can I be y/n's tutor?"
"What?"
The old man was shocked at the sudden request. He became agitated when Jake's expression became serious.
"Umm, sorry Jake but Y/N actually request Jay not you. I already told him few minutes ago."
Jake let out his breath. He walked slowly towards the professor. The silence was really loud and made the old man became really uncomfortable. But, before he can say something Jake already choked his neck tightly.
"Ja-ja-jake...."
"Yes, you still want to live, right? You still love your wife and kids,right?"
The poor lecturer tried to nod even though it is difficult. Jake watched him with a big smile on his face.
"Cancel Jay. Put me as her tutor and if she asks just say that Jay is not interested. If you say something else, you will meet dead bodies at home."
"I- i wi-will."
"Good."
Jake let his hold go and pat his professor cheek letting him know to not forget what he said. He walked out from there with big smile on his face same like when you did but it's different because you thought about spending time with Jay but he thought about slowly getting you in his arms.
"What a nice day."
--
So,this is the right one for the jake yandere request😌😌😌so sorry for the mistake, hope you guys enjoy this
taglist: @stacey-stonem @duolingofanaccount
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yhwhrulz777 · 2 years
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Today's Daily Encounter 8th November 2022
Attitude of Gratitude  
"As he [Jesus] was going into a village, ten men who had leprosy met him. They stood at a distance and called out in a loud voice, 'Jesus, Master, have pity on us!' When he saw them, he said, 'Go, show yourselves to the priests.' And as they went, they were cleansed. One of them, when he saw he was healed, came back, praising God in a loud voice. He threw himself at Jesus' feet and thanked him--and he was a Samaritan. Jesus asked, 'Were not all ten cleansed? Where are the other nine?'"1
Leprosy in Bible times was considered a very terrible disease. I am not sure what the equivalent would be to it today, but it was a skin disease that, once someone caught it, it was considered incurable and people with it were banned from society. When these men asked Jesus to have pity on them, they were probably not expecting to be healed, but may have suspected something when Jesus told them to go and present themselves before the priest. The priest was the only person who could grant a clean bill of health and allow the healed persons to enter society again. What is interesting to note is that the healing for these men took place as they "went". Their healing took place, all of a sudden, as these men began to obey Jesus. I can only imagine the delightful surprise that these men must have felt as they began to see their comrades faces clear up from the disease! Even with such a tangible miracle that took place in today's passage, still only one man returned to humbly thank Jesus.  
How many times in our lives do we ask God for something, but then when it comes, we forget to show gratitude and appreciation for His answer? All of a sudden we become ungrateful and take for granted the blessings simply because we got what we wanted or feel "deserving" of it. Or if we don't get what we want at the moment, we fail to thank God for all that he has ALREADY given us! God's grace in our lives is abundant and we would be foolish to take it for granted. And let us not forget that God's blessing in our lives will come as we "go" forward in obedience to His will.  
Suggested prayer: "Dear God, please give me a grateful heart and a thankful spirit, so that I will always give and express credit where credit is due, thanks where thanks is due, and appreciation where appreciation is due. And above all, give me a thankful heart for the countless blessings You have given so freely to me and especially for Your gift of salvation and a home in Heaven to be with You forever. Help me to so live that my life will be a living expression of gratitude for all that You have done for me. Thank You for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus' name, amen."
1. Luke 17:12-17 (NIV).
Today's Encounter was written by: Crystal B.
 NOTE: If you would like to accept God's forgiveness  for all your sins and His invitation for a full pardon  Click on: http://www.actsweb.org/invitation.php. Or  if you would like to re-commit your life to Jesus Christ,  please click on http://www.actsweb.org/decision.php to note this.
 * * * * * * *
 Daily Encounter is published at no charge by  ACTS International, a non-profit organization,  and made possible through the donations of  interested friends. Donations can be sent at:  http://www.actscom.com
 ACTS International  P.O. Box 73545  San Clemente, California 92673-0119  U.S.A.
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dollslayer · 3 years
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The Stand-In
CEO!Bucky Barnes x Reader
Summary: Stood up by your date and stranded in one of the nicest restaurants in town, Bucky Barnes just can't let that stand.
Warnings: slight angst, smut, oral (m & f receiving), deepthroating, unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it !), if I missed anything let me know!
W/C: 3,807
A/N: I wrote this for @simsadventures 6k mixed adventure challenge (Congrats!) w/ a restaurant setting and the line "If you could just hold my hand and be quiet, that would be nice". If you like it please reblog and comment and tell me what you think! Cheers!
p.s. - Come check out my other fics or find me on AO3 (same name)!
Main Masterlist
7 PM
Your best Jimmy Choos click gingerly as you walk up to the hostess stand at one of the most popular restaurants in Manhattan. He had made the reservation in your name, which you gave to the hostess. She takes a minute to consider you, cocking a brow as she silently clocks your ASOS cocktail dress. You looked chic enough that she could forgive you. Her moment wasn’t lost on you, this part of the Upper West Side was so stuffy so you put on your best.
Feeling slightly self-conscious about your attire you brushed the feeling off quickly. He would be here soon and he’d reassure you how beautiful you look. When you’d met for coffee he’d make you feel so sexy and confident with how sure of himself he was. So when he asked you to dinner at one of the most renowned places in the city and said he wanted to talk tonight you accepted immediately.
“Right this way” the hostess said and broke you out of your self-doubting stupor and guided you towards a some-what secluded table towards the back of the restaurant.
“Here are some menus for you two, if you’d like anything to drink while you wait, your waiter should be here soon”, she sent you an artificial smile and turned on her heel back to the stand.
You picked up a menu and it left you reeling at the prices. You had half a mind to text him and see if he wanted to go somewhere else. Based off of the way he dresses and how he had tipped the barista on your first outing you thought better of it. He’d said he wanted to treat you, so you’ll let him.
7:15 PM
You decided to wait to order anything to drink until he got here, too afraid of the price tag attached to any bottle of wine on the menu.
You took a sip of your water and checked your texts for the second time since sitting down. Still nothing, you didn’t want to text him just yet, you knew he was busy and you didn’t want to seem overbearing. You knew he was a CFO and he’d be coming from the financial district when traffic was insane. You could forgive him. You take another sip of your water hoping it’ll wash all of your doubts away. Besides, it’s not like he’s late-late, he’s like, fashionably late, he’s working-man late.
7:30 PM
Okay, so he’s late-late, don’t panic. Sometimes things happen, he’s only human and this is only your second date.
Your waiter approaches the table again, eyebrows raised expectantly at you. The smug look on his face says he’s thinking what you’re too afraid to.
You order yourself a $25 martini. Your waiter promises to return and you finish off your water.
Time to craft the perfect text that says ‘Hey I’m here, where tf are you?’ without actually asking where the fuck he’s at. You tap away nervously on your phone.
‘Hey, I’ve got a table towards the back, closer to the end of the bar’ Perfect.
7:45 PM
You’re still sitting solo at the table, you feel the beginnings of humiliation creep into your features. You feel warm, your brows form a seemingly permanent crease of worry, and you are trying everything in your power to suppress the tears you felt building up.
You don’t make eye contact with your waiter when he stops by again, playing it off like you were sending a text. But you tell him you’ll be right back so that he doesn’t give up your table.
You walk quickly to the bathroom hoping no one will notice your trembling face. You feel just like a middle schooler that got dumped at the dance. You make it to a bathroom stool and dial your best friend, Wanda.
“Is everything okay? You’re supposed to be out with your mystery date aren’t you?” She had answered almost immediately.
You sniffled a bit and took a shaky inhale. “Y-yes, our reservation was for 7 and he put it in my name, I texted him once already but I don’t wanna seem too overbearing for a second date, y’know? But something feels off. I don’t know, maybe I’m being crazy.”
“You’re definitely not being crazy, it sounds fishy to me. If he doesn’t answer in five minutes I want you to leave and come straight over. I’ll have white Russians and Drag Race waiting for you” Wanda always knew just what to say, just how to make you feel. You were grateful for her.
You sighed into the receiver. “Thanks, babe, I’ll let you know what happens either way”. You hung up and grabbed some toilet paper to dab at the corners of your eyes. You knew you’d need an extra minute to compose yourself as you faced the truth.
He’s not coming, he’s not texting me back, he probably regretted setting the date which is why he put the reservation in my name, I won’t be hearing from him again. Just pay your tab, smile, and leave. You got this.
7:52 PM
Checking your appearance in the mirror one last time you let out a final sigh and push open the door back to the dining room. Your walk to your table begins to slow when you notice someone is sitting at your table. A rather tall, unfamiliar someone.
Did the waiter really give away the table? I’ve been gone all of 7 minutes! What do I even say to this stranger? Should I just grab my bag and go? Hopefully it’s still there.
Your final steps towards your seat are nervous and uneven. The man in the chair opposite yours must’ve heard you and he faces you. You’re struck with an unfamiliar but extremely handsome face. The look of surprise must be tangible because he laughs and slight wrinkles form at the edges of his eyes. Who the fuck is this guy? Well he hasn’t stolen my purse so there’s that.
“I-” You lean over to grab your purse when you’re cut off mid-apology.
“I’m so sorry, sweetheart, you know how it is at work. Sit down, I ordered a bottle of wine for the table”. The man said.
You sat down slowly and felt so stiff and uncomfortable in the chair. Were you being pranked? Was this part of some very elaborate joke? Before you could ask any of those questions the man reached across the table and grabbed your hand.
“If you could just hold my hand and be quiet, that would be nice” He said as his thumb grazed your knuckles. You were slightly stunned by his boldness. You complied, if only out of shock and hoped he’d explain himself a little better or let you go in time for you to make an exit.
He leaned in closer to you, to anyone else it would’ve looked like an intimate moment during any normal date. He looked you in the eyes while he kept hold of your hand and you realized how warm he was, how clear his eyes were. You took a deep breath through your nose and tried to play it cool.
“I’ve been at the bar for a while now, it seems like whichever idiot decided to stand you up made a grave mistake.” Your brows pinched together and he continued, “I was with a friend talking business but he left and you look like you needed to be saved from the incident so here I am. James Barnes, but you can call me Bucky.”
You were unsure what to do with the information just given to you. Yes, it would’ve been embarrassing to pay your tab and leave alone after sitting there for almost an entire hour by yourself, but it was also embarrassing that this man had noticed and you certainly didn’t need anyone looking at you like some damsel in distress.
You caught yourself from scoffing completely and schooled your features. “I… appreciate that you’d do that for me but I don’t want anyone’s sympathy, especially not a date.” You tried to pull away when his hand gently squeezed yours.
“Please- I- I didn’t mean to make it sound like I’m doing this out of pity. Whatever happened here is unfortunate, yes. But you’re also very beautiful and you’re here by yourself so why not ‘shoot my shot’ as I believe the kids are saying these days? Think of me like a stand-in for the other guy, but y’know, better” he replied playfully.
A very brief moment of contemplation was solidified by your lack of notifications on your phone. Why not? He’s good looking and he’s doing you a favor.
You had to at least afford a small chuckle at that. “So ‘Bucky’, huh? Well I don’t have any cool nicknames but you can call me by my first name.” You gave it to him and he repeated it back to you, a wry smile on his face.
8:05 PM
Still no texts from him but you did text Wanda to tell her everything worked out and there’d be details to come. She’d go into full on mama bear mode if you hadn’t updated her.
“So, Bucky, what do you do? Do you live here in Manhattan?” You asked before taking a sip of your wine (which you didn’t dare check the price of per bottle).
“Brooklyn, actually, but a lot of my business is here. Have you heard of Buchannan hospitality?” He asked.
Your brain snagged itself on that name. That sounds familiar? Where have I seen that? Oh wait! Didn’t you see him in the Forbes ‘30 under 30’ list last year?
You’d meant to answer him but unfortunately all that came out was a confused “Forbes?” at which he laughed a little bit and nodded.
“Yeah you might’ve seen me there. I own some hotels and lounges around Manhattan and Brooklyn. What do you do?” He had brushed off his accolades so quickly, wanting instead to know about you, this random girl that had been stood up.
Shit, your mid-level marketing job doesn’t stand up to this in the least. You took a sip of the wine and answered him, explaining you were second in command of your small company’s marketing department.
He seemed genuinely intrigued and you two ended up talking business and swapping office and university disaster stories until the main course arrived. You dug into your meal, savoring the taste and relishing in the unusual turn of events.
8:47 PM
The plates have been cleared away and the wine glasses refilled. Bucky was proving to be great company and as oddly as it started you were grateful to be sitting here with him. You’d nearly forgotten about your would-be date and decided to check your phone one last time.
You had 11 unread texts, 10 of them from Wanda wanting a play-by-play and one of them from the man that had stood you up. You opened it and sighed. ‘Can’t make it tonight, baby, promise to make it up to you soon’.
You scoffed to yourself. He’s not gonna say where he’s been? Or even say sorry? Douche.
You put your phone away and looked back up to Bucky who was eyeing you with playful curiosity.
“Lemme guess, that was the guy who was supposed to be seeing you’s sorry ass excuse followed by a flimsy apology” He said as he drank from his water glass.
“You’re 1 for 3. It was him but he didn’t apologize or try to explain himself. Should’ve known when he put the reservation under my name and not his that something might be up and when he wasn’t there on time.” You said more to yourself than to Bucky.
“What’s his name?” Bucky asked.
“His name’s Brock Rumlow,” Bucky’s expression changed just slightly at this. “I think he works at some firm in the financial district. We only ever went out the once before this so I don’t really remember.” You explained. “What? What’s that look for? Please don’t tell me you know him”.
“Sorry to say that I do. Sorry to say I know his wife too” He said a little more quietly.
You felt humiliated all over again, the same feelings that you experienced in this very seat not an hour ago still had you by the gills it would seem.
Bucky reached for your hand again, running the pads of his thumb across the ridges of your knuckles in an attempt to calm you.
“I’m sorry sweetheart, I didn’t mean to make you upset, but you definitely ought to know that Rumlow is no one that deserves your time” Bucky said in earnest.
His words were nice but you’d need some time to get over this embarrassment on your own. In the meantime, you really were enjoying Bucky’s company so you decided to let it distract you.
Bucky flagged down a waiter, signaling him to bring the check. He took one glance at it and set his card inside. As you reached for the bill with your own card in hand he gave it to the waiter before you could even get a peek. He was so nonchalant when he looked at you.
“Don’t even think about it. So tell me, is the night over or are you game to spend a little more time on me?” He asked. This is the second time he’d been dominant but kind in one breath. You weren’t entirely sure how you felt but you didn’t dislike it.
If you went home you’d just be wallowing in your own self pity, or you’d go to Wanda’s and do it but if you go with Bucky you could delay that feeling for a bit longer. Out with a stranger it is.
“Where to?” You asked him.
9:59 PM
A private booth on the top floor of what he said was one of his favorite lounges turned out to be where to. You were relieved to find there was no dancing, as you had two left feet and half a bottle of wine by now. When you got to the booth you stuck with water, knowing you’d need to get yourself home.
Bucky had insisted on one glass of champagne ‘to chance encounters’ he’d said. You agreed but just one. You found yourself closer to him while you talked, your knees touched and his hand found its way to your leg. It didn’t dare to move higher up, just staying there like a comforting weight almost while you conversed.
You were rambling on about the time you and your cousin took your dad’s car for a joyride when you were 14. You were laughing the whole thing off when you realized he wasn’t laughing with you. You had worried for a moment that you’d bored him when you saw the soft yet intense look in his eye and tilted your head with curiosity.
“You’re very beautiful, you know that right?” He didn’t let you answer as he shifted closer. “I’d like to kiss you, is that alright with you?”
Oh. You were caught off guard by the abruptness of his question. Suddenly shy, all you could do was give a small nod and bite your lip in anticipation. His full lips were soft and almost as warm as his hands, which were holding you in an embrace. One of your hands had made their way to his hair and one on the outside of his lower thigh. You sighed as you kissed him back.
It was soft but insistent, things became a little more passionate as you swiped your tongue into his mouth and you both let out a small moan. You didn’t want to stop kissing Bucky, it just felt right.
He finally broke the kiss as one of his hands still rested at the nape of your neck. You were breathless, this man had kissed the daylights out of you. If he could do that with his tongue imagine what else he could do with it. You were both panting softly, sorting through what to make of things and where to go from here.
“I don’t know about you, but I wanna keep doing that, but this might not be the best place for it. You can say no if you want to, and you don’t have to do anything you don’t want to, but I’d love to take you home and treat you right” He said with unwavering eye contact.
Well how on Earth could I say no to that even if I wanted to? Wait doesn’t he live in Brooklyn?
“Let’s go back to mine, probably closer” You said. He nodded in agreement and sent a text to his driver to come pick you both up.
10:40 PM
You did indeed find out what else that tongue of his could do, you were finding out right now. He had made you cum once from his tongue alone already but he added to thick fingers and started pumping them into you, making a scissoring motion that hit you just right. You arched your back and pushed his face in deeper as you cried out, signaling your second orgasm.
Completely drunk in the afterglow of it, you wanted to keep this feeling forever. You wanted to show him what you could do too. You got up albeit with a little shakiness and hovered over him. You kissed his neck and slid your hand down to meet his groin. He was still in his briefs and you pulled the elastic band down with ease.
His cock sprang free and you had to hide the slight surprise you felt looking at the sheer size of him. You were always told you were good in bed so time to really put yourself to the test. You kissed your way down to his pelvis and your hand started working him. Staring back up at him you maintained eye contact while you kissed the dab of pre-cum that pooled at the head of his dick.
He shuddered but you kept staring at him, and in what you have to say was a pretty proud moment for you, you held his gaze while you took him slowly and in one go. You closed your eyes and moaned, feeling him in the back of your throat.
“Shit, oh my god. Are you gonna…?” He was lost for words so you decided to answer him by getting to work. You started slowly, up and down, letting yourself get used to his size and reminding yourself to breathe through your nose and stay relaxed.
His moans were growing louder and his breathing heavier, you knew he was close and you were wondering if he was going to let you finish him. You got your answer when he pulled you off of him by the hair.
“As bad as I want you to finish what you started, I wanna feel you first.” He panted.
“So what’s stopping you?” You asked playfully. A small shriek escaped you as he flipped you under him. He lined himself up with your entrance and thrust in slowly. You could tell he was using a lot of restraint but that was quickly forgotten as you remembered how big he was. You suddenly appreciated the slow pace.
As he became fully sheathed inside of you you let out a loud moan that was quickly silenced by his lips on yours. A few more small thrusts and he was nearly fucking your cervix. You felt unbelievably full.
“Had no idea how talented that mouth was of yours, doll. Trying to make me cum without getting to fuck you though? Now that’s just cruel. I think you need to pay for that, don’t you?” He asked playfully as his thrusts became a little harder and forceful.
You could only nod and moan as he picked up his pace. Your hands clung to his shoulders for dear life and you whimpered and keened while he railed you into your mattress. Finally getting used to the feeling you reached down to play with your clit.
“Did I say you could touch yourself?” He asked in between grunts.
Your eyes rounded and you shook your head.
“I wanna be the one to touch you. Make you cum. Only me.” He forced out as he replaced your fingers with his. He made tight, quick circles around your clit but didn’t let up on his pace as he fucked you closer and closer to a third orgasm.
“Your pussy’s making it fuckin’ impossible for me to hold out any longer, need you to cum, sweetheart. Cum all over my fuckin’ dick.” His words sent you right over the edge and you did as you were asked.
Not two seconds later he cried out and emptied himself inside of you, sending a few final pushes into you before taking himself out and dropping down on his side.
You leaned over and kissed him with what little breath you two had left. Your sweat mixed together but you didn’t mind.
His hands provided that comforting weight as he brought one to your shoulder and the other to your hip. He kissed the tip of your nose and watched you begin to drift off to sleep. He could probably use the rest himself and decided to close his eyes for a bit.
9:30 AM
You woke up in a half empty bed, but before you could let yourself be too disappointed you heard the sound of your shower turning off. You padded down to the bathroom and opened the door to find Bucky toweling off. He gave you a lopsided grin.
“Good mornin’, I would’ve asked you to join me but you looked so peaceful I didn’t wanna wake you.” He explained. “If you’re not sick of me, do you maybe wanna grab some breakfast?”
You shook your head and reached past him to turn the shower back on.
“No way. I make the best pancakes and as a thank you for everything last night, I insist on making some for you.” You smiled up at him, hopeful he’d agree.
“Well I hope you know what you’re up against, I’m a very insatiable man.” He joked back.
You hit him with a washcloth and laughed. “Oh believe me I know. Gimme 15 and I’ll be right out.”
He nodded and closed the door behind him. You let your mind wander back to last night as you washed off the sweat that lingered from the night before.
10:15 AM
You set down two plates stacked mile-high with pancakes and bacon. You held your coffee mug up to his and clinked against it.
“To chance encounters” You said with a smile.
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warmau · 3 years
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☆ [nostalgic] summer romance!au doyoung late birthday post for mr. kim! i am never on time for these posts, apologies.  find others here: johnny | haechan | taeil | taeyong | mark | jaemin | yangyang | yuta | sicheng | chenle | kun | yukhei
a sinking feeling has you rooted to the floor. staring at the lock of your front door as someone knocks politely over and over again.
“what are you doing?”
your mother’s voice gusts past you like a breeze, she leans over your frozen figure and turns the knob.
you step back to avoid being hit by the door and dread the light that washes over your mothers face
“doyoung! come in!”
he steps through and all you catch is a bit of side profile, hidden behind the gigantic plant he’s holding
“oh! that’s the orchid your mother was just up in a fit about? come here sweetie, place it on the kitchen table -”
his footsteps echo and you shrink a little, he didn’t even look at me. 
you’re thankful for your mothers insolent obsession with being a good host and trudge your way back to your room
doyoung is in your house. 
which is weird, the first time he was in your house - you knew, obviously, but he was uninvited. your mother didn’t welcome him through the door.
now - for the past month - after both his mother and yours had come to a unbreakable bond over their indoor houseplants 
doyoung has very much been a presence, an invited presence, a presence everyone but you seemed to be delighted about
“he’s such a nice boy, he’s spending his summers tutoring younger kids and i see him biking all around town.”
your mother gushes almost every time at dinner after doyoung leaves - delivering whatever ailing plant his mother has sent to yours to fix and play botanist with
you pick at your food
yeah, he’s a nice boy. that’s what makes this all so much worse.
now - you’re laying on your sheets with your hand on your stomach and staring up at the wall thinking very much the same thought.
he’s so nice, and so perfect, and everything anyone ever dreams of. why am i such an idiot for not wanting that?
you drum your fingers and again spiral back into the memory that keeps itself wedged between you and him like a piece of food that’s stuck so sternly between teeth, no pushing at it with your tongue helps.
summer starts in ten days, officially you know - by the university calendar. you’re supposed to be focusing on a final paper for some elective politics class you took, but you’re not. you’re staring at the back of doyoung’s neck. he sits in front of you for most lectures.
“hey, do you know anything about this military-first politics and nuclear armament essay prompt the professor gave us?”
doyoung turns slowly, blinking at you from behind his thin-wired classes, “yeah - it’s been the topic of discussion and reading for like a week.”
you know you sound kind of stupid to even ask - but you will admit, politics isn’t your thing and it seems to really be doyoungs - so you smile, with a please pity me kind of look in your eye. doyoung sighs, but he gets up and slides into the seat beside you - opening up the half blank word document on your laptop.
that’s it. that’s all it was going to be. doyoung helping you skid by, so that your summer isn’t ruined by a shitty grade. 
but that’s not what happens. at all. 
doyoung instead spends a lot of time helping you write a good enough paper to pull through a B-. 
that means a lot of alone time in the library, in study hall, in the empty halls of the school buildings where classes have ended and no one is around.
it’s a lot of being shoulder to shoulder with him, realizing how nice he always smells - how long his fingers are when they type - how he doesn’t have a significant other because no one except his friends ever end up interrupting you.
it’s the day after you get your grades for the semester, something about getting the paper back sparks a fire in you
you scope doyoung out at the coffeeshop and exclaim that you and him did it!
a couple of heads whip around, did it?, you quickly add some mumbling about the paper.
doyoung laughs, it’s the first time you’ve heard the genuine sound, because most of the time he just makes a half-sided smirk or chuckle.
you buy him an iced latte as repayment and somehow end up walking out of there with side by side.
doyoung asks if you live near by if you don’t dorm, you say you do. he does too. that’s weird - you’ve never seen him around the neighborhood.
after that you pretend it’s a blur. because truth be told it isn’t.
you and doyoung are going to be taking the same train anyway, why not take it together. you and doyoung are going to know the same little places around town, why not talk about them.
why not? why not? why not? 
why not invite him inside when you’re back in your hometown, why not lead him up to your room just so he can see it and why not kiss him when he leans over you.
people your age do it all the time, they hookup. that’s the only answer to that stupid hanging ‘why not?’
so when you felt doyoung’s fingers graze down your side and he’d clumsily gotten his glasses off just in time for you to pull his shirt up over his head 
you were convinced it meant nothing. you were convinced he thought the same.
then it all happens and you can’t take it back. 
especially not the part where you’re laying on your bed, just like you are now, waiting for doyoung to start gathering his things and instead a hand loops around your sweaty waist.
“aren’t you going to leave?”
the words blurt out of your mouth before you even think about it. 
the tension that stalled in the room had been so horrible you swore you’d felt it seep into every pore, damn near trickling itself down the walls.
doyoung had darkened, pulled himself away from you, and disappeared before you could string together your next thought.
part of you had been relieved, the other part felt like the biggest asshole on the planet.
you were just grateful the rest of the summer could easily be passed by keeping away from each other - until your mother had found her new best friend.
downstairs you can hear doyoung shuffling around with your mothers plants, you can’t make out what they’re saying, but you’re sure your mother is inviting him to stay and eat with you. asking doyoung about his amazing future plans to become a lawyer. enthralled by everything he is as a child and that you, most likely, are not.
when he finally leaves and the commotions die down you can’t get up
this is the most confusing moment. 
not the whole ignoring each other when he pops over, not the whole reliving the past from just a glimpse. 
it’s why - when it happened, you had been so content with it just staying nothing - you had been the one to make that decision for the both of you
yet
why does it seem like you’re wallowing in it, clinging to it, imaging it all over
every time he comes over
because you didn’t just want a hook-up. you wanted doyoung and were playing it off because having a crush on him isn’t worth it right?
your mind coils itself through a storm
you thought he only wanted to sleep with you too, because the thought of someone as good as doyoung liking you just doesn’t make sense?
despite the summer heat, you feel cold
you’re not good enough to actually be liked, to be the person doyoung chooses for something more than just your-
your phone rings and you sit up so fast it gives you a headache, you feel around and bring it to your ear without checking the number
“hello?”
“our mothers are trying to set us up on a date.”
you want to be anywhere in the world, but here. 
doyoung’s blank expression doesn’t let you know if he feels the same, but the way he won’t get in at least eight feet of you is telling enough.
you’re in his backyard, well technically you’re in his neighbors backyard, because he doesn’t want to be visible behind the hedges
rather be caught dead than be next to me, right? 
you shrill at yourself and try to bury the wince you make internally
“i think you should just tell them you have another boyfriend.”
“i can’t lie to my mother.”
you start and doyoung watches you chew on your lower lip and retreat defensively a step back
“why not?”
“she’s noisy - she’ll find out. she’ll insist until i die to meet this ‘other boyfriend’. plus i’m not a good liar.”
“really? could have fooled me.”
doyoung straightens himself as he says that, eyes unblinking behind the frames of his glasses
i probably deserve that. well actually-
“doyoung, i never promised you anything when we-”
the words wilt and doyoung suddenly looks over his shoulder.
“you’re right, you never promised me anything. im the one who was a fool for ever thinking it was something.”
you look at the grass. 
you wonder, if you had not said that one sentence - aren’t you going to leave - would this summer be different?
would you and doyoung be spending every second together, holding each other at the beach? kissing under the fireworks? sharing ice-cream and diving into pools filled of water and your laughter?
the thought blooms something in your chest
i wish - i wish it was that.
“you say i should lie, but you’re pretty good at it too doyoung.”
“excuse me?”
“it’s not like you - it’s not like you really wanted it to be anything more than it was.”
you think the grass is going to burst into flames with how hard you’re concentrating on it.
“what, you’re telling me-” you swallow “you’re telling me you actually wanted to be with me after? our mothers are trying to get us to go on a date and you called me out here just to avoid that.”
he leans forward
“if you are trying to make me the only guilty party here-”
he’s closer and you feel your voice shake a little, but you try to push to the end of your thought.
“im not, you never made any effort to make it seem like you had any genuine emotion so am i so wrong for just assuming it was just se-”
his hands, large and gentle, manage to find your shoulders and doyoung presses his lips to yours 
you stiffen from the external shock, but then relax under the light grip
his breath smells sweet, like he’s been chewing bubblegum, he’s wearing the same cologne he does at university
“i don’t just sleep with people.” 
he whispers against your mouth
“nothing against it, but i don’t think there’s a point to sharing something intimate with someone who i don’t want in every possible way.”
when you and doyoung agree to go on a date - both your mothers lose it. they’re convinced you’re soulmates.
although you and doyoung both agree they’re thinking way too far ahead in the future - it doesn’t mask the fact that the attraction that ends up forming between you two is undeniable
doyoung is so determined and intently goal orientated that you would think there isn’t the capacity to have fun in one bone in his body, but that’s not true
when he’s comfortable, he’s charming and full of humor - he makes you double over with laughter more than you could have imagined
and you aren’t as spacey and shy as doyoung might have assumed either, you have a competitive streak and you make doyoung feel like this is the summer of his life
the summer of his life that someone could probably make a decent coming of age film out of
he brings it up after you two exit a movie that was just about the same topic and you look down at your hands intertwined and shake your head
“no they’d never cast the right people to play us.”
doyoung sees the reflection of the milky way in your eyes, but he doesn’t say it
“no one on this planet is like you.”
he returns this sentiment with a small kiss that bumps this glasses against the bridge of your nose.
you get nervous sometimes when you think about how the summer started, it’s not like you’re living in the middle ages where intimacy is a sin before eternal commitment or anything
no you just get nervous because the reason you ever even made that situation as bad as it was, was because of your insecurity
does doyoung actually like me? did two weeks of being together at school make him realize something about me is worth it?
you can’t ask him that - even though sometimes you want to, so you can explain why you hadn’t just rolled over and nuzzled yourself into the dip of his chest
much like you do now - you fit so perfectly right between his arms
instead it sometimes gnaws at you until doyoung is cleaning his glasses over your sink and you’re sitting in the bathtub looking at him
your parents are ironically over at doyoungs for some wine party or whatever and although your mothers are in awe about you two being “a cute lil couple” 
they see that - cute, part of it makes you snort. you and doyoung sometimes act more mature than they do.
“i always knew you were staring at me in lecture.” he starts and a little smirk pulls at his long lips
you flick some of the water at him and he leans against the counter
he doesn’t like baths, he prefers showers, but he still stays in the room with you when you take them 
“i wasn’t staring at you.”
“you were staring at the back of my neck.”
you look away because fair, not like he spends a lot of time looking away from the professor.
“so i knew you liked me, or something about me. that’s why it hurt.”
“when we-”
“yes and i like being logical, so not having a real answer for why that all happened like it did still haunts me.”
he tilts his head and you see the line of his thin collarbones through his shirt
“i thought you’d say it first.”
he blinks
“i thought you’d say something like, that was cool. ill see you at uni come fall. and then leave. so i mean, i didn’t even say go leave - i asked, aren’t you going to leave?”
doyoung is smart so he gets what you’re saying in the most roundabout way possible
he walks over and squats down, leans over the ridge of the bath to kiss you and doesn’t complain when you bring your soapy hands up to cradle his neck
“im sorry i did leave, i should have just said what i felt right there.” 
he mutters and you nod. you should have said it too.
when you and doyoung graduate and he goes on to law school and you start working, you almost break up - twice - because of the stress
but somehow neither of you can ever ask the other one
aren’t you going to leave?
because neither of you ever really wants to.
so you don’t, you stay through all the hardships, through every argument and bump in the road. 
you stay, you choose to stay and so does he and you might not even fall asleep next to each other on some days but the heat of the person you love is always there.
and then doyoung gets his first big promotion at his job, runs all the way home with the news and ends up breathing hard and talking nonsense to you in your shared kitchen
“you need a shower.”
you say, wiping the sweat from his forehead as he shakes his head, no. he needs a bath.
you lean back against his chest, stronger and broader as he’s aged. 
he looks down at you and even the eyebags that have gotten darker with all that work he does don’t do anything to make him less attractive
you peck his chin, because it’s what you can reach.
“if we sit here any longer we’re going to prune.”
“are you going to be the first one to leave?”
he asks and you shake your head. 
you’ll sit here forever if that’s what it takes.
on the counter of the bathroom, there’s one of the houseplants your mothers keeps shipping to you. 
you don’t notice that it’s the same orchid that doyoung carried into your house all those years ago, when you thought he hadn’t even looked at you when your mother opened the door.
he curls a strand of your wet hair around his finger.
he had looked at you, quickly, but he had done it. 
even half covered by orchid leaves, you’d made his mouth dry. 
“no seriously though - we will prune.”
“i’ll get up if you get up?”
i’ll never leave, the only way i’ll leave is if it means im taking you with me. 
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Text
I wish this trip never ends (sstbthw part 2) - h.h
Tumblr media Tumblr media
Word count: 3768
Warning: angst, swear, mention of smoking
Pairing : harry holland
Request: no.
N/A: okay, i took me almost a whole month to write this but i'm kinda need to work on school too. Remember, english is not my first language, so be kind if you spot mistakes, i really tried my best. I asked you who the reader was supposed to end up with ... I'll let you figure it out but ... don't hate me for the end ... because after all ... it might not be the end. Don’t hesitate to tell me what you think of the fic! Love you all! xx
taglist : @angeliquekalampoka , @harryhollandsgirlfriend (the one and only harry holland's girlfriend to me)
ღღღ
previously - and you can find part 3
Restoring a relationship of trust and regaining the bond that you both had was particularly difficult. You had to learn to find your place in Harrison's life, but also in his relationship with Grace. You were roommates and friends, but it was complicated to plan meetings with Harrison's busy schedule. Between his job search after the cancellation of his Netflix series, his photo shoots, his dates with Grace, those with his family. It was getting harder and harder to find a moment to reunite with the two of you. It was without counting your schedule.
You were supposed to meet at noon for lunch at that restaurant Harrison told you about where he took his mother earlier this year, for Mother's Day. You felt uncomfortable going to such a place. It was very fancy; you had taken a look at the menu and you knew in advance that you would not be able to afford to split the bill. That was sometimes one of the downsides of being friends with Tom and Harrison. They sometimes forgot that their salary was significantly higher than yours. After all, they were still simple, good-natured guys, never saying no to a quick takeout meal or ordering pizza, drinking a beer at the local pub. And sometimes, they offered to go to prestigious places, not paying attention to money, wanting to please their friends or family.
Currently you were in your room. You were throwing countless of clothes across the room, trying to choose what you could wear to this lunch. Harry stopped dead when one of your dresses flew out of your room, right in front of his nose, blocking his way. You had left your door open and your spontaneity got the better of your best friend.
“Easy, Tiger. I had no idea your clothes had the capacity of Dr. Strange's cape.” He joked before coming into your bedroom.
You turned to find Harry leaning against your doorframe, a smirk encrusted on his face. You gave him an unamused frown and his smile widened. This wasn’t funny at all; you were stressed as hell. It’s not like you still had feelings for Harrison and try to impress him – to be honest, you still had feeling for your friend, but not as intense as before, you had drawn a definitive line on the possibility of a romantic relationship with him, which had helped you a lot. – But you didn’t want to be dressed down and looked like a clown.
“Come on Munchkin, it’s just a lunch. At worst, Harrison can still make it looks like he invited you out for charity, sort of “Make a Wish” event” Harry joked, in his significant humor.
“Go to hell, Robert. Don’t you have a pack bag to make, mister “I’m going to Spain to help my superstar brother to hold his tea while he’s filming”?”
“Rude… I’m a film director, now”
Not for that, you thought to yourself, but don't have the balls to tell your best friend. You didn't want to take this joke too far. You smiled at his cute pretending offended face. You pouted mockingly before biting your lip. You loved the dynamics of your relationship so much. Your humor, sarcasm, your outspokenness, that's what brought you together. Harry pulled you lightly from your closet with a comforting wink. He chose Yves Saint Laurent poppy red wool jersey flared pants that Tom gave you on your birthday. You smiled at his choice. You liked these pair of pants because they were sparkling with vitality, the color was flamboyant. Harry then gave you a satin pearl-colored shirt from Zara and you laughed at the drastic brand difference.
“Oh I see. A classy look but no more than £ 1000 that's pretty smart,” you joked.
The choice of your outfit once again proved the reality of hanging out with wealthy people. You were not poor; you could even be grateful for the life you had had. But it would never occur to you to give your friends clothes that were going over the miles and cents. To be honest, you wanted it. You wanted to live up to the gifts your friends sometimes gave you. But the truth seemed quite different: you had cried over the price of a used Rolex you wanted to give Tom for his birthday. Even having saved for 6 months, you could not afford such a gift.
“Shut up, don’t be so dramatic. Wear that necklace Harrison gave you for Christmas. I’m sure you’ll look fine”
“Thank you,Baz…I guess. ”
You kissed his cheek and then invited him out of your room so you could get ready. It didn't take you more than thirty minutes, time to put on the outfit your best friend had chosen and to put on light makeup. When you were finally ready, you walked to Tom's room. He had offered to take you to the restaurant where you were to join Harrison. But when you got to his ajar door, you could hear the soft sound of a slight snoring. You let out a chuckle before ordering an Uber. You knew he had spent almost a full month in Los Angeles and hadn't returned until early last week. You wanted to leave him as much as possible alone so that he could rest before his trip to Spain for the reshoots of his film Uncharted. Tom was a boy who loved being in touch with those close to him, but you also felt his need to recharge his batteries. That's why you preferred to let him sleep.
You went down to the kitchen to pour yourself a glass of water before leaving. When your Uber arrived, you left a note on the refrigerator to let the boys know you were safely gone. It was little everyday things that made you look normal that you enjoy. A post-it on the fridge, a table organizing household chores had been drawn up. Note to yourself; It was Harrison's turn to take care of the laundry.
☙♡❧
You had really hoped this was just a grotesque nightmare. That it wasn't real. He was going to arrive; he was just stuck into the traffic. Isn't it?
But you were there, waiting for over an hour and a half, without any news from your friend. Some people watched you with pity eyes, the others didn't give you any attention. You internally thank Harry for choosing your outfit. You didn't look like a lost kitten in this prestigious setting. It didn't prevent you from being ashamed right now. The waiter had urged you to order several times but you had told him that you were expecting someone, that he would arrive any minute. The last time, you didn't know if you were trying to convince him or yourself.
But it never happened. Harrison never came to your dinner. You were alone, sitting at a table, pathetically waiting for your friend to show up. It didn't look like him. He had never stand you up before. And not to improve this embarrassing moment, the waiter came to you again. This time, with a man in a suit. He was elegant, carried himself proud but diplomatic. They stopped at your table, a tight smile on their faces. No doubt the man in the suit was to be the manager.
"Miss, my employee told me that you seemed to have occupied this table for a while now. I am sorry to tell you that if you do not order a few things, you will have to leave the establishment"
You looked at him with misty eyes. You have never been so ashamed in your life. You just nod your head, not trusting your voice just yet. After taking a deep breath, you finally apologize to them before telling them that you are going to leave. The manager of the restaurant, out of politeness awkwardly apologizing for this uncomfortable situation.
You've finished the Dry Martini that you allowed yourself to, paying for it with whatever pride you have left. You pulled your cellphone out of your purse and decided to call one of the boys. After three rings, he picked up.
"Hey ... can you please pick me up?"
Your voice was shaky, you were so ashamed but it was less distressing than having to walk the Walk of Shame to your house or cry in an uber. You hung up and shared your location. You left the lobby, leaving the restaurant, standing in front of the entrance to the establishment. The air refreshed your cheeks burning with shame. Luckily it wasn't raining today. Which was pretty nice compared to that early summer you had had.
When you saw Harry's car pulled up in front of you, you slid into the passenger seat without a word. The curly redhead gave you a heartwarming smile but you definitely could see a spark of annoyance in his eyes. You sigh, resigned while shrugging your shoulders. It was obvious that your friendship with Harrison was still shaky.
"I'm sorry, love. He's a jerk about it."
Coincidentally, like a mitigating circumstance, your phone vibrated, receiving a notification from Harrison. You were chewing your lip with a sort of anguish and irritation, watching the message the blond had sent you.
"I'm sorry. So sorry. My agent called me for a pretty urgent casting briefing. She's detained me until now. Are you still okay for this dinner?"
You were angry. You were mature enough and had known the boys long enough to understand their obligations. The fact that Harrison had a lastminute meeting with his agent and missed your dinner wasn't a problem. The problem was, he made you wait for over an hour and a half before notifying you. You wanted him to call you to let you know, or a simple text just after he knew for the meeting. You typed a short answer, shorter than this was impossible. "No". You rested your head against the headrest, turning your gaze to your best friend.
"Hey, he's a Netflix star now" you replied to his last words.
Your voice cracked on the last syllables and your eyes filled with tears. You weren't usually that emotional but the anguish and shame really took over you. Harry noticed, unsure of how to instantly respond to your distress. He would have liked to stop on an emergency lane to take you in his arms but he already had 2 penalties to pay, respectively for speeding and prohibited parking ... a third fine would not be really welcome. He simply placed his hand on your thigh, drawing circles on your pants to comfort you. He simply moved his hand to shift gears and instantly rested it on your leg whenever he had the chance. This gesture soothed you, enjoying the touch, grateful to have someone as your best friend to mop up your pain.
☙♡❧
Arriving at the apartment, no sign of Harrison. When you walked in the kitchen, you saw Tom sitting at the counter, scrolling his phone. He looked up at you, not directly noticing your annoyed expression.
"Wow..you're ... gorgeous. I love these pants on you"
You smiled, a little amused by the compliment. Of course he loved the pants, it was a gift from him. But your smile didn’t reach your eyes. With a look on your expression then on the clock, the actor understood that something went wrong. Harry was right behind and still no trace of Harrison. It was suspicious. Tom gave you a worried look.
"Do I have to ask…Never mind, I’m still going to ask. How was lunch with Harrison?"
"I don't know, why don't you ask him? Oh wait... right, he didn't show up" you said sarcastically although you could hear the hurt in your voice.
Tom frowned, biting the inside of his lower lip in annoyance. Harrison was his best mate since forever and he knew him so well. It seemed strange from Harrison to not show up. The blond has told him he was happy to see you again and walking through this whole awkward “feeling situation” because he didn’t want to lose you. In a quick movement, he rose from his stool to walk around the counter. The next second, he took you in his comforting arms and you finally let yourself go under the sight of the two Holland brothers.
“It seems like you need a break of all this shit” Tom said while he ran his fingers through your hair.
You let a little laugh escape through your tears. He wasn't wrong. You really needed to get away from this whole situation for a moment. But how? Harry watched the scene unsure of what to do. You were his best friend and it seemed like the solace you found was never in his arms. He had tried in the car, however, as best he could. He walked over to the counter to make you both a cup of tea. It seems that as cliché as it sounds, tea comforts you, as the English person you used to be. As the redhead waited patiently for the water to boil, a flash of genius - according to him - crossed the glare of his eyes.
“Why doen't she come with us to Spain?”
His brother's words seemed to suit Tom, who released his hold on you. You opened your eyes wide, not sure of what you had just heard. Go to Spain, with them? Once again, you knew you were going to argue on this proposition. The idea was not bad, Spain seemed a rather pleasant country. But you had just graduated and had a student job to save as much as possible. However, you could not afford to leave for several days in Spain, at the last minute. Plus, what were you going to do while Tom was filming and Harry was assisting him? He was sure the film's production crew wasn't going to give you a pass because Tom had decided.
“Yeah! That’s it, you’re coming with us”
“Tom, I have a student job. I can’t just…decide to go to Spain.”
“You never take a leave, come on. It’s not negotiable”
You were looking at Harry for help but he just shrugged. After all, he was the one who had initiated the idea of ​​including you on the trip. You were trying to find a valid excuse to stay home. You really didn't want to impose yourself.
“I can’t afford that” you said, trying your best to convince him to quit the idea.
“I don’t care, it’s not even a problem. You coming to Spain with us.”
"Omg, does Z dominate you in bed to make you so bossy in life?"
Harry almost spitted his tea and laughed out loud while Tom gave you shocked eyes with pinky cheeks. You had always been sassy but hanging out with the boys had made you even more sassy than ever. How many times haven't you heard Tuwaine or Harry make fun of Harrison or Tom on the sex subject? Being a girl seemed to make you an untouchable character. The boys had never teased you about your relationships or your sexual partners. And while you've always had feelings for Harrison, you've had your own experiences. Anyway, you had just gone with the flow and Tom's brand-new romantic relationship with his co-star gave you the perfect opportunity.
“That's not the point.” stammered the actor.
Your smile widened, proud of your joke and the way Tom reacted. You heard Harry clear his throat. He had his phone in his hand and his own smile didn't bode well for you.
"The production is okay but it's at Tom's expense."
“You got to be kidding me…”
☙♡❧
You ended up in Spain with two of your best friends. You knew you had limited time before Tom had to fly back to Los Angeles for some Spider-man: No Way Home reshoots. So, you enjoyed as much as possible: accompanying the boys to the golf course - even though you weren't very involved in the sport -, spending time to visit touristic places when they were on set, talking with Rachael and other people from the set. You really enjoyed your trip.
On Wednesday evening you went out to a restaurant with Tom, Harry and two other friends/tom’s colleagues. You couldn't deny that it was fun. You had the opportunity to sunbathe a little while walking through the streets of Madrid. Spain was doing you good and not once did you think about your wobbly friendship with Harrison. You've just left the restaurant when a few fans politely show up to take pictures with Tom. You couldn't help but smile at the thought of how kind Tom had always taken in a few snaps when his fans approached him respectfully - and there weren't too many of them -. You sighed with pleasure before stepping away from the group. You leaned against a wall and took out the packet of cigarettes that Tom had asked you to keep in your clutch bag. Being an occasional smoker, he wouldn't blame you if you took one from him. You tilted your head back to admire the dark starry night when you felt a presence by your side. You narrowed your eyes in mischief as you looked sideways: Harry was there, his nose wrinkled from your cigarette. He didn't like it too much Silence filled your bubble despite the hubbub outside. You were in public and it was not surprising to meet travelers and Madrid residents mingling with the crowd to enjoy this pleasant evening.
"I wish this trip never ends." You finally said, breaking the silence.
Harry didn't know what to say to that. Instead, he was just looking at you. You were a little tanned, the Madrid sun had done wonders on you; your loose hair framed your face and the summer dress you had chosen for the restaurant looked great on you: It was a short red floral summer dress with a shingle collar. Light enough to keep you from suffocating but decent to wear on any casual occasion. You were beautiful, stunning. His heart exploded at the sight of you, so much that it hurt a few times.
"I wish I had been there for you more." he finally confessed
You finally turned your head towards him and shrug your shoulders, smiling shyly but sincerely.
“You were working, Baz”
“I meant…not only here in Spain. I’m sorry to have let you down recently”
You give him a confused look. He hadn't been a bad friend but he kept implying it. You just shook your head negatively to brush his words away. Harry had always been important to you. He had been the first to step towards you. It was him who introduced you to the rest of the gang. He had always been concerned about you.
The night you met, you immediately clicked up with him. And to be honest, for a moment, you thought he liked you that night. But he never took that step towards you and you never did either. You dreaded that if you kissed him, he would think you were interested in his notoriety by proxy. So you just acted like any reasonable person would - accept the status he gave you. And the second time he asked you to join him with his brother and his friends, you met Harrison and your heart exploded.
"I'm glad you brought me here"
“I'm happy you accepted to come.”
“I didn't really have the choice, Baz” you joked.
He laughed slightly. You weren't wrong, he and Tom had practically dragged you onto the plane, leaving you no choice to be by their side. But you could only thank them, especially Harry who had the idea. You took another hit on your cigarette before leaning back to check out where Tom was with his fans. He seemed to be talking with the girls and didn't seem overwhelmed. So, you didn't want to interrupt him and were just going to wait for him to finish. Harry played with his hands nervously, looking straight ahead and then at you. He seemed to be repeating this game for several seconds before finally asking the question that was in his mind.
“Have you heard from Harrison?” Harry asked quite casually
“He sent me several texts to apologize and wished me to have a good time in Madrid.”
“Do you still have feelings for him?”
You swallow hard before looking at him. There was an indecipherable glint in his eyes and you weren't sure what to make of it. You drew another puff from your cigarette, maybe that would save you from entering this conversation. But Harry's presence was all around you and you couldn't really escape. So you've decided to be honest.
“It’s complicated. I suppose so...”
“Mhmm”
“But my friendship with Haz is important, I don't want to lose him because of it.”
“Yeah, you can't imagine how well I understand you” he sighed
“What do you mean? Who’s the lucky girl..or guy ?”
Harry turned to you frankly and you did the same, stubbing out the half-smoked cigarette. You are well aware that the conversation was taking a more serious turn. He moistened his lips and walked over to you. Harry was full of things: he was full-loving, sarcastic, talented, daring, impertinent. But Harry was mostly awkward when it came to love. Not just an attraction, no, love with real feeling. Delicately, hesitantly, he reached out to your cheek, stroking it with the back of his fingers, cautiously. You were frozen, your eyes fixed on him admiring his audacity.
"She's the most beautiful girl I ever seen." he said with a small smile.
Harry walked over to you and your heart was pounding at breakneck speed. Harry had ... feelings for you? You were really confused. Since when had he developed his feelings? Why didn't he tell you about it? Why hadn't he tried anything so far? So, were you right from the start? Was there a tension between you since the beginning of your friendship, since your met? But above all, did you want him to take that step? Instinctively, your body responded. You parted your lips and closed your eyes. You enjoyed the warmth of his hand on your cheek and were waiting for the touch of his lips. But it never happened.
"Hey baz, y/n..we're going back to the hotel" Tom said, taking his eyes off his phone. "I…Mhmm sorry, did I interrupt something?"
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sharktoothedboys · 3 years
Text
Lips Of An Angel, Part 2
Here it is guys!! Part two!! Thank you for being patient with me!! and because you asked nicely I tagging @marshmallow12435 because you wanted to know when I posted!! So here goes! Enjoy everyone!! 
====================================================
Shot ran until he thought his lungs might give out, he was hoping he would catch up to you before you even made it to Katsuki’s, if that was where you were even headed? No he couldn’t think like that, He was going to find you there. 
There is was, just up ahead, Katsuki’s home, The lights were on, that’s a good sign right? It was almost 2am! Surely that had to mean you were there. He reached the door and began to hammer on it, Frantic, but he didn’t care, He needed to explain, or at least try to. 
A very disgruntled Bakugo finally answered the door. 
“She doesn’t wanna see you, Asshole.” He snapped a soon as he opened the door. 
Shoto was trying to catch his breath on the blondes porch.
“I don’t care what you tell me she said, i need to speak to her.” He managed to get out between breaths.
He tried to push his way past the explosive hero, but to no avail, Bakugo stopped him. 
“I said she doesn’t wanna see you.” He said eerily calm.
They angrily stared each other down at the front door, Bakugos grip on Shotos arm tightened, small crackles could be heard and the temperature in the room began to noticeably drop as the two heroes continued their stare down. 
“Katsuki...” Your feeble voice came from behind the mountain of a man, “Its ok, i’ll handle it.”
Shoto looked behind Bakugo, his eyes widened in shock and sadness as he took in your dishevelled hair, red eyes and puffy cheeks, he had caused all this hurt, you let out a sniffle and he thinks he feels his heart break, This was all his fault. He snatches his arm away from Bakugos grip and quickly makes his way over to you, reaching for your hands, only to visibly wince when you retreat them from his reach, not letting him hold your hands in his. 
“Say what you came to say, and leave.” You said, as you stared at you hands, picking at the loose skin around your nails, a habit of yours. “I already know all the important parts, so don’t try and play the victim here”
“No please, YN. I am not here to try and talk my way out of anything, what i have done is awful” He says sadly, “But please here me out.”
Bakugo interrupts. “I’ll be in the kitchen, YN if you need me to kick this guys ass, just shout.” He makes to leave, but not without harshly bumping in to Shotos shoulder first. Making you smirk a little. Petty, but you didn’t care. 
“Thanks Suki.” You mutter, eyes still glued to your hands, still yet to look Shoto in the eye. 
Shoto guides you to the sofa and sits down besides you, feeling the pain when you shuffle away from him being to close. 
“I love you...” He begins but is quickly cut off. 
“Don’t, Just don’t give me that bullshit, I don’t need you to lie to my face as well as behind my back, stop trying to make yourself feel better about doing something shitty. I don’t need your pity and your excuses, If that’s all you have to say then leave.”
“I can’t lie to you anymore, because I truly do love you, Please believe me.”
“WHY SHOULD I?!” You yell, forcing yourself to your feet to pace around, “Give me one good fucking reason as to why I should believe a god damn word that comes out your mouth! You have apparently done nothing but lie to me from the start! Everything you have ever said to me has been a lie, EVERYTHING!” 
“NO Y/N!! I never lied to you, everything i ever said was true, every compliment, every i love you, everything was true, just please let me explain.”
“And what? I am meant to be grateful now?” You spit back. 
“No, just please...” 
you looked down at his desperate facial expression, you could see it in his eyes, sincerity, maybe you should just let him explain himself properly.”
“You have 5 minutes.” You huffed as you sank back down in to the sofa. 
“Thank you.” He said, then silence engulfed the two of you, Where did he even begin? 
“4 minutes left.” You stated.
“Right” He sighed deeply, “Well as you probably gathered from the phonecall, there has been...”
“No shit Sherlock” You snapped, you were beyond sad now, Shoto turning up and taking his sweet time had just made you mad, in fact it made you furious. He blinked back at your bluntness, he wasn’t used to you not being patient with him or swearing so much, he was taken aback. You had never snapped at him before. “Just get on with it Todoroki or I swear.”
That was it, hearing his family name slip from your lips instead of the usual Shoto made him snap, tears threatening to pour down his pink cheeks.
“Don’t you fucking dare.” You snapped when you saw the tears.  “You have absolutely no right to cry in front of me right now.”
“I can’t help it, hearing you call me by my surname feels like the final nail in the coffin.”
“If you don’t get on with it we’ll both be in coffins.” You muttered, “Now just tell me what you wanna say.”
“There has always been someone else that has also had my heart.” He said, wiping the tears away, “She shrouded my mind and for a while she was all i could think about, even after we met, I just couldn’t seem to get her off my mind, But the closer we got, the more she faded away, eventually I found myself barely thinking of her, and smiling around you a lot more. Just as a I found myself fully falling for you, she clawed her way back in to my life, and it was like she had never left, like I was under some kind of spell for her. I couldn’t bring myself to hurt you, I really was falling hard for you, But I also kept finding myself in her embrace, I am sorry for what I have done, truly, because after tonight’s phone call, I saw you were gone and I just instantly knew, I felt it in my bones that you were the one I needed in my life, the one i wanted and desired the most. The panic that washed over me at the thought of you not being in my life, Imagining not waking up to you every morning, No more loving kisses, no more breakfasts together before going off to work, no more evening cuddles while a forgotten movie played in the background, I couldn’t not have you in my life, and i promise to spend the rest of my life making it up to you, If you could just find it in your heart to give me one last chance, Just come home with me and forget any of this ever happened, to please, just forgive me and let me hold you again.”
A few tears rolled down your cheeks as you cupped his face with your hands, he automatically leaned in to your touch, he looked in to your eyes and gave you a small smile, which you returned, and he closed his eyes in contentment....
“Is that it?” You sighed
His eyes snapped open as you let go of his face, staring straight in to your stoic eyes that gave nothing away. Emotionless.
“Di you really think something like that pathetic little speech was going to get me to come home and welcome you back with open arms, when our whole relationship was built on a rebound that you didn’t even get over? You want me to just up and forgive you after 3 years of deceit? You think its gonna be all sunshine and rainbows? No, I don’t trust you and you want to follow you home like a loyal puppy and play happy families and pretend like none of this happened!!”
You stop to catch your breath, standing and running your hands through your hair, A speechless Shoto sat staring at you as you continued with your rant.”
“What? Nothing to say? Did you not prepare for the possibility I wasn’t going to return to you, what like I am so lucky in life to be with the great Shoto Todoroki? Well, as it turns out, I am shit outta luck! And so are you!! Tough luck Todoroki! TOUGH FUCKING LUCK! This isn’t some sappy RomCom where you say a few nice things about me and I come running back to you, I’m not some pathetic lonely woman who thinks she will never find love again, who thinks she has nothing else in her life worth living for because some asshole cheated on her, I am not someone who has no other options because some lying cheating scumbag bastard strung her along for 3 years, NO! Not me, I have a life still to live, and I don’t need you in it. But I do want an answer, so give me one. Who is she?” 
He stared open mouthed at your heavily breathing frame, Should he tell you? Would you kill her? What does he do now? Just as he was about to open his mouth the door opened and he suddenly didn’t have to say anything, In walked Camie, Bakugo’s long time girlfriend, and from the shock on her face and the look on Shoto’s as he stared at her presence, It didn’t take a genius to figure it out. 
“Sh... Todoroki... YLN.. what...what are you guys doing here so late?” She asked, a lump in her throat as she did.
You looked from her to Shoto, and you knew. 
“It’s you...” You said, “Its been you all along..”
Camie just stands there like a dear in the headlights, her gaze flitting from you to Shoto, begging him with her eyes for an ounce of backup. 
“ I....” Tears began to pour freely down her face. 
“KATSUKI!!!” You screamed.
“NO! PLEASE!” She lunges towards you, grabbing your arm.
“What? and just let my best friend continue his life with an unfaithful whore?”
You yelled at her as Bakugo shot in from the kitchen, just in time to witness you thro Camie from your grasp on to the ground.
“Woah!!” He yelled, heading for Camie, but you stopped him, “ What the hell is going on here?”
“It’s her” you said calmly looking down at the girl, who was now her knees, crying at your feet. “It’s her who has been fucking Todoroki for almost my entire relationship with him!”
Bakugo just stared down at her, eyes wide, His gaze turned to Shoto, who was sat on the couch, his face in his hands as his shoulders shook from silently crying. Bakugo saw red. His head lowered, his teeth grinding together, His Palms crackling loudly around his balled up fists, He was about to step forward until he felt your hand on his shoulder. 
“They are not worth it, either of them.” 
He calmed down slightly at your words and touch and looked you in the eye, you smiled and he returned the smile. 
“Just one question,” He stated boldly, looking down at Camie, “Di you ever love me? Or did you just choose me to get closer to this bastard?” 
She looked up at him, her silence speaking volumes, That was all he needed.
“Get the fuck out, both of you.” He fumed
“But where am I meant to go?”
“Do it look like i give a shit about where you go, end up in a ditch for all I care, why don’t you go to lover boys house with him, Whore.”
“She is no longer welcome at my place.” Shoto said as he stood up heading for the door, not without giving you one last apologetic smile.
“Katsuki, please.” Camie begged holding on to the hem of his shirt from he place still on the floor. 
“NO! You don’t get to call me that anymore, Now I aid, get out.”
He bent down grabbing her by the collar of her coat and literally throwing her out the door, Shot still stared at you sadly as the door was slammed in both thier faces. He had really fucked up, and he knew deep down there was nothing he do to fix it. 
He stared longingly at the door, until Camie tried to grab his hand, that he snatched away. 
“Don’t touch me, this is all your fault, I was just getting over you! I had found someone I could love, who I DID love, why did you haver to come back and ruin everything for me!? I am going home, don’t follow me.”
He storms off leaving her in the street alone to sort out her own situation, He was done with her, he wouldn’t let her ruin his life again. 
Back in Bakugo’s house you slumped down on the sofa, your head on your hands, tears wanting to fall but you not quite letting them. 
“He isn’t worth it.” Bakugo said in a calm voice, a hand around your back, drawing small circles along the small of it to calm you down. You look at him smiling and padding your eyes with your hands to stop the tears, “ You know I am right.” He smiles down at you.
“Yeah, you’re always right. Aren’t you?” You giggle back at him.
“You know it, sweetheart.” He laughs, “Now come one we should get some shut eye, we are both on patrol tomorrow. You can stay here as long as you need to.”
“Shit, Patrol. My hero uniform and everything is all at that hom... Todorokis place.”
“Don’t worry, make me a list and ill swing by in the morning for your uniform, you have bought the essentials right?” 
You nod at him
“Right well I’ll get you some fresh sheets for the guest room, lets sleep.”
You yawned and followed him to the guest room and he got you the fresh sheets he promised and bid you a goodnight as he went to his room. 
The next morning, Bakugo was true to his word and went to Shoto’s house to collect your hero uniform and a few other things as specified in the list he asked you to write for him. He arrived, ringing the doorbell and waiting for an answer. He eventually opened the door, he looked like shit. 
“Bakugo.” He seethed
“Asshole.” Bakugo replied.
After they exchanged their greetings, Bakugo made his way inside, explaning you had sent him for the bits you needed. 
“Is she okay?” Shoto asked sheepishly.
“You don’t get to know that.” Bakugo spat back as a reply.
“Come on Bakugo, at least let me know she is okay?”
“You threw away the right you had to know anything about her or her life.”
Shoto stared down at the blonde as he packed a few of your belongings into the bag he bought with him. 
“Oh my god...” Shoto realized. “ You’re still in love with her aren’t you?”
“Always was, always will be.” Bakugo replied without missing a beat, he smiled up at the dual haired man, “ Your loss will be my gain.”
He zipped up the bag and stood besides Shoto. Shoto’s left side began to ignite a little out of jealousy and rage. 
“Go ahead IcyHot, do your worst, I’ll just go home and have YN patch me up while i tell her what a monster you are.”
With that said, his flames extinguished, He didn’t want you to think he was a monster, even though it is what he deserved.
“Just treat her better than I ever did.” Shot said quietly.
“That won’t be difficult.”
That stung.
Bakugo stepped past Shoto, leaving him behind with just his thoughts and memories. 
He made it back to his house, he entered only to be hit with the smell of bacon and eggs, a smile creeped on to his face, he could get used to this domestic life bullshit, coming home to a cooked meal everyday sounded great. He decided there and then that he wasn’t going to waste another second of his life with out you. He walked in to the kitchen gaining you attention.
“Hey Kats....” You were cut off by his lips slamming down on to yours, You were still for a few seconds while you figured out what ws happening, and then you melted in to his embrace as you returned the kiss, you felt his smile on your lips as the kiss deepened. 
He begrudgingly broke the contact.
“You have no idea how long I have wanted to do that.” He whispered against your lips that were still very close to his own, his arms tightening around your waist.
“Then show me, Suki.” You said as you returned you lips to his and kissed him with all the passion you had. 
You were sure he has the lips of an Angel
===================================================
@marshmallow12435
There we go guys!! Part 2!!! I absolutely LOVED writing this story, so I hope you all enjoy it too. It deffo my new fave! Please like and follow I would be eternally grateful!! 
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sestra-inestro · 3 years
Note
Pleaseeee can I request a Part2 of ‘you know and I know better’. Where Wanda says it’s okay for her and R to break up and then Nat finds R and R is devastated still because of Nat and they argue before R breaks down and tried to hard all hard but Natasha sees how badly hurt she is. This broke my heart please mend it
Heartbreak Hotel
A/N: So sorry this was so late dear reader. I think this was submitted right after I took a break. But here it is, it’s a little different than what you wanted. I also don’t ever react to cheating like this but I’m feeling mushy because I’m watching New Amsterdam. Thank you for this request.
Warning: mentions of suicidal thoughts or potential self harm/suicide, cheating, otherwise just possible typos: unedited.
Masterlist
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Another relationship left hanging. You just couldn’t catch a break.
Wanda sat on the other side of the bed, facing away from you as she listened to your sniffling.
She just told you that she was still in love with Vision, despite them not being a thing for a while.
In a way, you knew they would always be meant for each other. Maybe you just wanted to be selfish for a little while, just to be happy for yourself, even if it was with another Avenger.
“I’m sorry, June.” Wanda said softly. “I just can’t help my feelings.”
You wiped your nose and nodded your head.
“At least you told me, I’m grateful for that.” You said back in a husky voice. You didn’t think your heart could handle another beating like the one Nat gave you. You told her that it was okay, and with hesitation pain in her chest, Wanda left.
She left you there on the bed to break down by yourself like you wanted.
You grip your hair and fall back onto the bed to let your pain overcome you so you can move on.
-
Wanda moves back into the compound once she is done with everything at your house. Her and Vision can finally be together and they don’t try to hide it from everyone else. Nat stares at them in the kitchen as they attempt to prime Visions cooking skills again, making an absolute mess. Nat frowns to herself, Wanda was acting the same way she is with Vision now with you only a few months ago when she saw you two on her jog. She deliberately avoided that track so you wouldn’t see her and so she wouldn’t have the see the very confident pda that she was witnessing right now.
Tony waltzes into the kitchen with a whistle and spring in his step and stops at the displace of disgusting cuteness that she was staring at.
“Um, what? When did this happen?” Tony asks, I interrupting them.
“Oh, well it kinda just did.” Wanda says, brushing a strand of hair out of her face.
“Weren’t you with June?” Tony asks bluntly.
“Yeah, but it just didn’t work out. Me and Vision still had feelings.” Wanda says and Tony frowns at Vision, clearly wondering how Vision has feelings.
“So you broke up with June for Vision?” Nat says, not even bothering to hide the judgement in her voice.
Wanda glares at her. “At least I broke I with her first.”
The tension becomes very noticeably thick, Tony and Vision stand and stare at them both after Wandas dig at Nat.
Nat stands up, the chair behind her sliding against the floor loudly and she leaves. Everyone watches her go and wait until she’s left before moving again.
Tony turns to Wanda. “Y’ouch.” He says while cringing.
“What? You don’t think she deserved that?” Wanda asks him.
“I didn’t say she didn’t.” Tony nudges her with his elbow before standing to think about what it was he came in for. He shrugs before leaving the kitchen.
“I don’t think you were out of line. A bit blunt, though, but not out of line.” Vision pinches her chin and smiles at her. She smiles back and thinks about you. Of course she felt bad about hurting you again, but at least she broke up with you right.
Tony comes back into the kitchen, suddenly remembering his mission from before, breaking her out of her trace and forgetting about you again.
-
You had had your time to be in pain, but after a few days, you think it was finally time to pick yourself back up. Starting small, you gathered yourself up for the day and headed out to grab some lunch. You were actually going to sit outside and eat it by yourself, getting air. You went to your favourite food place and went to sit at the pond where the ducks always are. You haven’t been here in a while so you took this chance to enjoy it. The ducks swam up near you and you threw in some peas that you had brought from home.
As they ate, you ate. And when you finished, you just sat there.
At the end of the track, Nat was jogging and keeping an eye out for you. She knew that whenever you were happy or sad, you came here. You used to talk about the ducks and how they slowly became to trust you but she never actually came with you. She only jogged passed. But this time she was keeping an eye out. If only she had looked just to the left a little. If only she actually ran on the path she would have ran right in front of you. But she missed you. Just by a few steps.
Nat wasn’t about to let that let her down. Instead of running back to the compound, she ran straight to the address she has fished out of the system from when Wanda moved back in. The apartment block stood tall and dull, the perfect hiding spot for an Avenger, Nat guessed. She ran to the floor that your room was on and stood in front of the door. She took a deep breathe, remembering the last time you two actually spoke and cringed. She hung her head, remembering you coming into the room and seeing what her and Bucky had just done. She hadn’t given you the time of day in the last few weeks leading up to your breakup, why on earth should you give it to her now, especially if she never apologised.
But Nat swallowed her pride, there was no room for her to be embarrassed anymore and she needed to let you know that there was nothing wrong with you. You were not the reason the last relationships didn’t work and she was going to show you that.
She took another deep breathe and raised her fist, knocking hard on the wooden door.
Nat waiting for a second, listening for any sound of movement on the other side, hoping to hear your footsteps. But she heard nothing. She frowned and knocked again. You couldn’t have moved out already, it had only been a few days.
“June?” She called out, cringing at her voice saying your name again. “It’s Nat.”
Still nothing.
Nat stepped back to observe the door as a whole and looked up and down the hallway. It was quiet like no one else lives here. Thoughts begin to run through Nat’s head and she starts to worry, she should know better but she can’t help but think of the possibilities that could’ve happened. You could just be out. But it also only takes one push to get someone over the edge. She remembers seeing a fire escape of the side of the building and she needed to get in to see if you were okay.
In ten minutes she was on your apartment through the fire escape window. Moving quickly she checked both the bedroom and the bathroom. The apartment was empty and in a way, Nat was relieved.
She sighs and puts her hands on her hips, observing the your living space. She is totally invading your privacy right now but she couldn’t help but smile a little when the apron in the kitchen caught her eye. I loved to cook and she thought that the apron would be the perfect gift for you, because of its ‘sweet but salty’ saying on the front. She had given it to you late because she was too busy being an Avenger. Her pity thoughts come to an abrupt end when the sound of keys jingling in the keyhole and a lock turning came from the front door. Nat stood paralysed as you walked through the door.
You sighed walking through your door and drop the half empty bag of frozen peas. “Damn it. You grumble and bend down to pick it up. You see a shadow move on the floor and quickly lift your gaze. You freeze, seeing Nat trying to get out of the fire escape quietly.
“What the fuck, Natasha?” You yell and Nat jumps.
She turns her head to look at you sheepishly. “Hi.”
“What the hell are you doing in my apartment?”
“I just wanted to see if you were okay. I heard about you and Wanda-“
“I’m peachy.” You cut her off. “Now you can leave.”
Nat sighed and went to walk passed you to the front door but you took your key out and slammed it shut. “Nope. The way you came in.” You pointed to the window and crossed your arms.
“Are you serious?” Nat huffed at your attitude.
“Deadly.” You stared her down.
Nat sighed at your glare. “I just wanna talk.”
“I have nothing to say to you.” You voice was hard.
“Then please just listen?” Nat asked.
You gave a little huff but stayed quiet.
“I know that what I did was wrong. I was horrible at the end of our relationship. And I wish I could go back and change how I handled it and how I treated you.” Nat said. You advert your eyes down to the floor, you didn’t have it in you to fight and you wanted to be better. But you also know that your relationship with Wanda was somewhat of a distraction from your breakup with Nat.
“I just need you to know that you are not the problem. What happened with me and with Wanda was not your fault. And I am so sorry. I would treat you right if I had the chance again. You’re an amazing person.” Nat said before touching your arm and giving it a slight squeeze.
You squeezed your eyes tight in response as she walked passed you and went out the front door.
You didn’t know what to do. You thought of what you would’ve said to Nat a millions times if you ever saw her again, but you couldn’t say any of it. You frowned to yourself as you went over her words. You didn’t think twice as you reached for your phone.
-
Nat kicked herself for breaking into your apartment. She should have just trusted that you take care of yourself, not allowing a woman to bring you down that hard. She didn’t jog back to the compound but she sped walked, passing by the people quick feeling like she needed to give you more space.
Her phone buzzed in her pocket by her hip and she rolled her eyes, thinking it’s Steve with mission info. She pulls it out of her pocket and sees the message is from you. She stops her steps and reads the message.
June - Was that you asking for another chance?
Nat didn’t know how to take your words.
Natasha - No, but I wouldn’t oppose to it. I also don’t want to overstep.
She waited to see if you would answer her back, wanting to give you the decision.
June - Do you want to come tell me how good of a person I am some more?
Nat smirked to herself a little before turning around and heading back to your apartment.
286 notes · View notes
lady-salvatore · 3 years
Text
Champagne Problems
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Pairing: Steve Rogers x Reader
Desc.: Steve proposed to you, and you said no. It takes a week for the both of you to figure out why.
Warnings: angst, mentions of mental illness, female reader, happy ending :)
Notes: AHH so this is my first Marvel fic, please let me know what y’all think. 💖
Steve stared at that glittering diamond ring between his thumb and finger, staring at it as if somehow it had malfunctioned.
Or maybe he had.
He leaned back into the seat of the very empty train, your ‘no’ echoing in his head a thousand times over. He wondered if it was him, if he’d done something wrong— if that was why you wouldn’t marry him.
He guessed there’d been signs throughout the night. You were pensive, quiet. You didn’t want to dance. You weren’t smiling.
Steve wrote it off as nerves. You must’ve known what was coming, you were just anxious was all.
He thought it would all be fixed when he got down on one knee. He saw tears glimmering in your eyes and mistook them for happiness.
He was wrong.
In the chest pocket of Steve’s jacket (a suit he’d bought just for tonight) was his wallet. Inside was a picture of you, and it felt like that picture was going to burn a hole right through his chest.
You burst through the door of your apartment, slamming it behind you and leaning against it. Tears and mascara ran down your face as you tried to breathe against the constriction on your chest.
Your roommate and best friend, Wanda, came into the room with wide eyes. “(Y/N), what-“
“I said no,” you gasped helplessly for air. “I said no. He asked me to marry him and I said no.”
Wanda’s jaw fell open and her eyes filled with pity. She came over and wrapped you in her arms. “You’re freezing! And shaking...”
You sobbed against her shoulder as she guided you to sit down on the couch. “I don’t know what he even wanted with me in the first place. I’m too far gone— broken, or something.”
“You’re not broken,” Wanda said softly, petting your head. “You’re just not ready, that’s all.”
But what if you were never ready?
Suddenly, Wanda spoke again. “Vis, could you make some tea?”
“Of course, darling,” Vision said as he floated through Wanda’s door. “Do feel better, (Y/N).”
You nodded and through him a weak smile, not trusting yourself not to break out into tears again.
Steve had tried to call Bucky on his way to his apartment. He needed to talk to someone, tell someone what had happened. But Bucky never answered, so Steve was left to deal with this alone.
He unlocked his apartment door and stumbled inside, flicking on the light.
He heard a loud chorus of “surprise!” and the sound of a champagne bottle popping open. Steve looked around to see his friends gathered around the apartment, with party decorations and food and drinks.
Steve met Bucky’s eyes, and immediately Bucky’s eyes widened. He knew what had happened. He could read Steve like a book, and somehow Steve was grateful for that now. He would never have to tell him.
Slowly, the realization dawned over the room as they stared at Steve— alone, disheveled, eyes red from crying.
Natasha held the champagne bottle awkwardly in her hand. “What... what-“
“She said no,” Steve grumbled harshly. He stumbled past his friends and toward his bedroom. “Goodnight, everyone.”
He slammed the door to his room and felt the pain wash over him again.
You lied in your bed, staring up at the ceiling as waves of memories intruded your mind.
Steve always opened doors for you. Always, without fail. I know you can open your own doors, I’m just trying to be a gentleman.
And he handed you his jacket whenever you shivered. You never even asked for it. He would just wordlessly drape it over your shoulders, even when he was cold, too. It doesn’t matter if I’m cold, I’d rather have you be warm.
The way he talked about his friends like they were family. The way his blue eyes lit up when he saw you. The way his smiles seemed to be made just for you.
You loved Steve Rogers— hopelessly, effortlessly, always— so you had to protect him.
He didn’t know he was signing his life away to the will of your baggage. You knew how heavy that burden was.
You couldn’t let him carry it.
It had been a week. Steve’s finger had lingered over your number in his phone for days, too afraid to actually dial. He turned off his phone again as Natasha carried a box of Christmas lights past him.
It didn’t seem right— decorating the tower for Christmas without you here. Hanging the lights was your job.
Tony was doing it this year. But he didn’t hum as he strung them up. He didn’t smile when the lights came on.
He just stood joylessly on the ladder as he fiddled with the strings.
Natasha sighed and patted Steve on the shoulder when she noticed him sulking. “Maybe it’s for the best.”
“Maybe she’ll change her mind,” Bucky grumbled.
Steve looked at him quizzically. “You think?”
“Look, Cap,” Tony said from the ladder, “you can just find a new girlfriend. Easy peasy.”
“Excuse me?” Steve growled.
Tony smirked. “She was out of her mind anyway.”
“Watch your mouth, Stark,” Steve hissed as he jumped out of his chair. “(Y/N) isn’t crazy, and you don’t get to talk about her like that.”
He felt Bucky grab his shoulder. “Steve-“
“I’m fine,” he huffed, knowing he was far from fine. “(Y/N) wasn’t crazy. She was perfect. She is perfect.”
“I know,” Bucky whispered, patting him on the shoulder. But maybe you should move on.
Steve didn’t want to move on. Not ever. Not from you, and if he had to spend another seventy years fixing whatever it is that had happened between you, that’s what he’d do.
You were wrapped up in blankets on the couch, eyes red and sore from crying as you watched another sad movie.
You had barely moved in days. Losing Steve was like losing a part of yourself. No matter how good your reasons, no matter how far you distanced yourself from the pain of it all, it still hurt— always, always, always.
Steve Rogers was the best part of your life, and now he was gone. You knew that pain would never dull.
Your mind told you not to regret the decision. You were protecting him. He’d be better off without you.
But your heart was a traitor and missed Steve with every beat.
A knock sounded at the door. You got up to go get it, thinking Wanda had forgotten her key again.
Instead, you were faced with Steve, who looked just as horrible and heartbroken as you did.
His blue eyes met yours. “Hi.”
“Hi,” you responded weakly, feeling like you were about to curl up and die. “What are you-“
“What did I do?” he asked, eyes pleading. “(Y/N), I’m struggling here, because I just don’t know what I did wrong, and... just... what did I do?”
He thought it was his fault.
Your heart sank. “You didn’t do anything.”
Steve furrowed his eyebrows. “Then what happened?”
“You’re too good for me,” you whispered suddenly, tears flooding your face. “And you deserve better than me.”
“(Y/N), that’s not true-“
“It is.” You took a step away from the door, away from him. “It is. I’m messed up, Steve, and you and I both know it.”
“Don’t say that!” he said, stepping into the apartment. “If you’re not gonna marry me, that’s fine, but don’t you dare say it’s because you’re not good enough!”
“But I’m not!” you cried. “You deserve somebody better than me! You deserve somebody who won’t pull away when you want to dance! Somebody who isn’t gonna run away and leave you on that landing! Somebody who will say yes to you without hesitation, who isn’t afraid to love you! And I am not that person!”
“I don’t want that person!” he yelled back, eyes softening. “All I want is you. Isn’t that enough?”
Tears ran down your face and Steve wiped them away, pulling you into his embrace.
“Do you promise?” you whispered hoarsely through a sob. “Do you promise that I’m enough?”
“Always have been, always will be,” he whispered, smiling down at you softly. “And... if you’re not ready for marriage, we’ll wait. I’ll wait.”
You knew it then, that you wanted to marry Steve Rogers. With every fiber of your being, you loved him.
That night, you found the ring in his pocket and slipped it onto your finger. It was sized perfectly, as if it were meant to be there. You had no doubt in your mind that you and Steve were a perfect fit as well.
There would always be days when your mind got the better of you. Steve may have not been able to change that, but it was a little easier to carry the burden of your own darkness when Steve’s light was right there beside you.
Love was enough, and you had enough love for him to last forever.
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nishisun · 3 years
Text
suna rintaro is NOT a genius.
summary: you loved the idea of soulmates. suna rintaro didn’t. it isn’t that hard to put two and two together to realize that maybe people with different opinions on things don’t belong together.
part 2
a/n: this was literally supposed to be a series, i gave up on it because i just didn’t like the way it turned out. it used to be called “out of my league” and this was the intro. i also renamed it. just emptying drafts!! please don’t get confused with the random timeskip, once again, this was a part of a series i never ended up posting😭
WARNING!!: suggestive themes, mentions of death, idk kinda angsty but tell me if i missed anything
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Soulmates. Whatever the hell that means. The idea of soulmates is something I truly don’t understand. It’s bullshit, honestly. It’s all-pervasive.
My mother always told me I'd eventually find "the one.” I used to believe that when I was younger of course. But in my opinion? It’s all cliches. It's unhelpful, and it's certainly not true. Destiny is an excuse for the weak. Why do you think most marriages end in divorce? It's 'cause people who believe they are “destined to be" assume everything will fall into place without any effort. I don't appreciate people pontificating bullshit like that just to make me feel better, especially if they haven't found their "soulmate" themselves. My sister once told me, “People who believe in soulmates are more likely to break up and encounter more difficulty in their relationship, which will lead them to give up on one another eventually.”
I sure do believe that.
My mother is a prime example. Fumeiko Suna, my dear mother. Well, she clearly hasn’t found hers. I found out when I came home after a tedious day of school in 5th grade and found my dear mother on the floor crying, with bruises all over her face and a busted lip.
Initially, I thought a burglar had broken into our home once again, but if that were the case then there would’ve been missing furniture. But there wasn’t.
In fact, the place seemed cleaner than usual. When I ran up to her and asked her what had happened, there he was. The devil himself. My father. He reeked of alcohol, and I could detect his shadow towering over me. It’s funny how that I think of it. I used to fear that son of a bitch. Now, I’m way taller than him, and hate his guts. I turned around to see a faux-sympathetic smile plastered on his face.
He explained how my mother was being “clumsy” and had fell and busted her lip on one of the corners of the kitchen table and when I turned back around to face my mother, she smiled gently and nodded in agreement. She didn’t say anything after that.
It was then I realized my father had beat my mother to a pulp.
Long story short, when I found it was my father, sure, I was frightened. In fact, I remember going into my siblings’ rooms to inform them, they shrugged it off and told me that dad had been doing it for a while now.
Over time, when my dad had found out that I was aware, he didn't mind beating the absolute shit out of my mother in front of all three of us. This was when my burning hatred for that man started. Nobody in the house even attempted to stop him. I did a few times, though. He took all his anger out on me. At least my mom had a break for the day.
I almost pitied my mother. Almost. Maybe if she was strong enough to leave him, then yeah, I’d feel bad. But she still decides to stay with his sorry ass. It’s pathetic. It’s unrequited love or whatever you call it. How could she still love that asshole?
I mean, I’m not even going to lie, I’m an asshole too, but I’m definitely not my dad. I would never want to be him. He’s not someone I looked up to, he doesn’t do anything inspirational. He’s a businessman. He travels the majority of the time, and I’m pretty sure my mom invites men over when he’s gone. I don’t care enough to find out. But if I ever hear some guy rearranging my mom’s guts, I’ll kill him. I don’t even blame my mother. What she’s doing is wrong, she knows it and so do both of my older siblings. But they don't seem to care so why should I?
Who knows why she just won’t leave him. Maybe it’s cause they don’t want to ruin how people view our “picture perfect” family. I wonder what they’d say. “I thought the Suna’s were the ideal family? I guess not.”
My dad would probably lose it if he heard that.
Both my mother and my father are the cause of this broken family of mine. They never fed me or any of my siblings the love we always desired when we were younger. They never came to any of my volleyball games when I was younger. They never applauded me for the little recitals we’d have in class in primary school. They were never even here for most of my childhood. They always put money first and left us with the housekeepers. Hell, the housekeepers probably know me better than my own parents.They failed as parents. I despise them for it. They’re most likely the reason I am the way I am, but to be honest?
I don’t give a fuck.
In fact, I should thank them! Because of how they “raised” me, i’m extremely blunt, which is why people respect me. I use the hatred I have for my family and take it out on people and no, I’m not proud of that. I may be a heartless asshole, but I like that people fear me. The hell? Does that make me a sadist? Either way, people know to never fuck with me cause I’d fuck their shit up. I’ve overheard many people say it’s ‘cause of my privilege. It probably is. Money can’t buy happiness, but it sure can buy you many other things.
If my parents were broke, I’d probably be expelled from school by now. Abuse of alcohol and drugs are forbidden on school property. I don’t even take them at school, I somewhat care about my education and health, but sometimes I just need to blow some steam. Even if I did, nobody’s gonna say shit since my dad is the head of Japan’s board of education. How did his ass even get there?
Call me lonely or cynical. Maybe I am. But how is that a bad thing? Why do people need a significant other to rely on? What, a soulmate is just going to turn my life upside down then suddenly bring me happiness? Pfft, I’m gonna need actual proof that shit like that still happens. I’ve only seen shit like that in fairy tale movies. It’s whatever, though. I can live with being alone. I’ve basically been alone my whole life and it isn’t as bad as people make it.
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You loved the idea of having a soulmate. The thought of meeting someone who just understood you, accepted you for who you were, and most importantly, loved you excited you. You couldn’t wait to meet your soulmate.
But recently, you weren’t sure soulmates existed.
When your older sister, Akira, came into your room and burst into tears, it frightened you. Your older sister, the one who’d always provide you advice on relationships and how to keep one was in your room sobbing hysterically because hers hadn’t worked out.
“I just can't believe it,” she sobbed.
You couldn’t believe it either. Your sister had recently gotten engaged to her boyfriend of 9 years. They started dating at the age of 15 and managed to make things work out even after high school, and out of all those years of dating, they never broke up. Not even once.
They’d go on romantic dates on Saturdays and they’d always write love letters to one another every day, just to remind one another of how grateful they were to have each other in their lives. On Halloween, they’d dress up as fictional characters from TV shows and books and take cute selfies and bake a bunch of sweets. They’d invite you to come bake with them, but you would politely deny. You knew they were only offering so you wouldn’t feel left out, which you appreciated.
Of course, they’d argue every now and then, but at the end of the day, they always managed to talk things out. Oh to have a relationship like theirs. They were everything you wanted to have in a relationship and more.
“I really thought he was the one for me, y’know?” No, you don’t know. But that doesn't matter. What mattered was cheering your sister up.
“Maybe he wasn’t ‘the one’ Akira, and that’s okay! People come and go all the time, soulmates come and go all the time as well-”
“You still believe soulmates are real, huh?” she let out a humorless laugh and sniffed her nose, “What If I missed my one shot at love, Y/N? What if I lost my soulmate?”
That’s some deep shit.
Now that you think about it, were soulmates real? Soulmates come and go, yes, you’re aware of that, but even though they leave, it’s always temporary. Soulmates always find a way back to their other half, the piece that completes them.
Your dad never made it back to your mother.
He died in a car crash 5 years ago. Your mother and father had been arguing because she claimed your father was cheating on her since he wouldn’t let her check his phone.
You were 13 at the time. Your sister Akira was accompanying you in your room, listening to them arguing back and forth with one another. There was furniture flying across the room, glass breaking, and both of them throwing curses at each other. You were scared. They never argued in front of you and your sister. They'd bicker sometimes, but it was never anything too deep.
Eventually, your father had enough of your mother’s false accusations, and out of anger, he packed his things and left home. For weeks. It wasn’t until one of your uncles called your mother and broke the news. She didn’t take it very well.
Late 2012-early 2013.
Not many people came to your father’s funeral, his family didn’t like the fact that he and your mother were together, they said your mother was trouble, but your dad still stayed with her, even if that meant it would completely destroy the bond he had with his family. Now that’s true love, you had thought. Only your mother, Akira, the Sunas, your uncle, and you, of course, attended the funeral.
It hurt a lot. It hurt when your mother informed both your grandparents on your mother and father’s side and all they could do is put the blame on her. It hurt how they had claimed you, Akira and your mother were a hindrance to your dear father’s well-being. How could they be so cruel at a time like this?
That was the first time you ever questioned if soulmates were real. Maybe they fell in love at the wrong time? Who knows.
After your father’s passing, Fumiko Suna, your mother’s best friend, was there to help your family out financially. Your mother couldn’t even find the motivating to go to work. Your mother and Fumiko have been best friends since junior high, they’ve literally been inseparable ever since. In fact, after they both got married, they decided to live right next to each other.
Your mom didn’t cope with your father’s death very well; none of you did. But your mom had it the worst.
She would cope with alcohol and clubbing which would always result in her bringing different men home almost every night. You didn’t say much about it, you thought it would be selfish to since that’s what seemed to make your mother feel better about herself, but your sister hated it. She was already 19 and in college at the time, but when she visited and found out that your mother had basically been neglecting you, she was furious.
“Seriously, mom? This is what you’re gonna do while your 13-year-old daughter is in her room having a literal mental breakdown because of your childish behavior?” Your sister had barged into your mother’s room when she thought you were asleep, she was screaming loud.
“You’re interrupting something important, Akira. You know better than to-”
“Oh, shut the hell up mom. You’re the last person on earth to be saying shit like that.”
“Well, if you’re done, you can leave my room now. You’re being disrespectful, and this behavior is not tolerated!” Your mother was screaming now. The man in the bed covering his body under the covers and looking back and forth between Akira and your mother.
“Sakiya, maybe you should hear your daughter out-”
“Not now.” your mother scarcely interrupted the man, eye contact never leaving Akira. “Y/N has never complained about this when you were in college. She knows this is my way of coping, why can’t you understand that too!”
Akira scoffed. “So what, getting fucked by random strangers you find on the filthy streets is your way of coping? Getting wasted every damn night to the point where Y/N has to drag you up to bed is okay with you? Do you even know how much this is affecting Y/N? Did you even bother asking her how she felt? I hate breaking it to you mom, but you need serious help.”
“You selfish child!” Your mother screamed, grabbing a towel and wrapping it around her body, getting up from the bed. “How dare you say that to your own mother?”
“I’m only telling the truth! If you’re the mother, then it’s your job to be taking care of Y/N, not neglecting her. When’s the last time you’ve engross in an actual conversation with her when you were fully sober?”
Your mother was silent. She quickly walked up to Akira and grabbed her by the hair and slammed her headfirst against the wall.
“You’ve got a big mouth! Maybe I should wash it with soap like I did back in the day, hm?” Akira was attempting to push her mother away, but she wouldn’t let go of her grip. The man that was still on your mother’s bed was in panic, yelling her name, which didn’t have any effect. He might as well stop.
"Look," Akira mumbled, struggling to get away from your mother's grip, "I know it's been hard ever since dad left-"
“Mom! Let go of her!” You cried from the door of her room.
All 3 adults froze and looked at your glassy eyes, mouths wide open.
“Hey, kiddo, I thought you were asleep?” Akira playfully said, your mother let go of Akira and crossed her arms then looked away from you.
“Well, I can't really go to sleep when there’s a bunch of adults yelling about my well-being,” you muttered incoherently. You quickly wiped the uncontrollable tears off your face and sighed.
“Honey,” your mom started, she walked slowly to you, carefully examined your face, and attempted to hug you, but you didn’t accept the offer which made your mother frown. She stopped walking until she was almost face to face with you and placed a hand on your shoulder gently. “Baby, your sister told me that you weren’t happy. Is this true?”
You looked away from her and stared dully at the floor, subtly shifting your feet, then you softly shook your head “no.”
“See Akira, Y/N is happy. So please stop stressing her out.” Your mother said through gritted teeth, then faced you once again. “Y/N honey, how about I go tuck you into bed, hm? I’m so sorry for the excessive noise that was caused.”
“Mom, how clueless can you be? Y/N looks miserable! It’s unhealthy for Y/N to be living-“
Slap.
Your mother just slapped Akira on the face.
“I know what’s best for my daughter! I am her mother! You are not the one who should be telling me how to take care of my own kid!”
“That’s enough, Sakiya.” a familiar voice said from the door.
“Fumeiko-“
“It’s fine. Sakiya, we need to talk.” It was Fumeiko Suna, your mother’s best friend, also known as your next door neighbor. She had been standing in the hallways the whole time, you didn’t even know she was there. Akira was the one who called her over.
That night your mother agreed to get help for her drinking problem. She was gone for 6 months. During those 6 months, the Suna’s took you in since Akira would be in college and you couldn’t have been more grateful.
You and Rintaro were the only kids in the house, being that you both were the same age and the others were in college. It was okay, they were all very polite, dinners were awkward, you could feel some sort of tension between the family but you didn’t pay any attention to it.
When your mom finally came back, it was awkward at first. She still seemed the same, loving and caring, just sober and free of alcohol. It was nice. You two spent the weekends bonding at the mall, watching a movie, or even getting your nails done. Eventually, she gained your trust back, and you couldn’t have been happier.
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January 2017.
“Akira, don’t say that. You may not believe me now, but you are such an amazing person, don’t ever think you’ll never find love again. It’s all about having a positive mindset!” you said, thoughtfully stroking her hair as her head laid on your chest.
“I told you that.”
“You did,” you chuckled, “you should take your own advice.
“Oh, shut up!” you both laughed, and Akira let out a shaky sigh. “Thank you, Y/N.”
“Of course, you don't need to thank me. I love you.”
“I love you too.”
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— so this is one of the writings that i wrote in January 😭 it’s been in my drafts and i re-read it once and instantly hated it right after. if there’s any typos please tell me!!
— also i wanna apologize again for putting gmds on hiatus,, i feel so bad 😭 i wanna make it up to you guys but idk how so if you have suggestions pls tell me
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motherjoel · 4 years
Text
last cup of coffee (spencer reid x reader)
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summary: you and spencer are the famous frenemies of the BAU, but one day he goes too far in a fight and the team decides to force you both into the same car to make up. little did you know, the check engine light isn’t just a suggestion.
a/n: this is on my ao3 but i wanted to post it on here too! let me know what you think :)
wc: 2.6k
tw: brief mention of suicide
-
“Triple A says it’ll be a few hours before they’ll get here,” Spencer sighed, shutting off his phone and shoving it in his pocket. The car engine had stopped working about 10 minutes ago and you cursed yourself for your terrible navigation skills. It may have been your fault that you had no idea where you were, but you'd never admit to it- like many other things you’d never admit to. Your extreme sense of pride led you to blame Spencer for not doing anything about the check engine light. It was this same sense of pride that hid your real feelings for this man- feelings you would never admit to even yourself. Instead, you shielded yourself from these emotions in the form of daily bickering matches with Mr. Genius.
The two of you had ended up in the same car on the way back to the hotel, which was insisted on by the team. You could feel the tension in the air- the tension that had been there since you stormed out of the break room earlier. You both normally never went for blood in these arguments- nothing behind either of your words were to be taken seriously, even the team knew this. Everyone knew that you and Spencer had a bit of a love hate relationship- today, however, was focused on hate. Ever since he went a little too far during one of your bickering matches, you had been icy with him. The team couldn’t take the tension, so they figured a long car ride would solve the issue, except, what was meant to be only an hour of awkward silence was now an indefinite amount of time.
“Well that's just great,” you huffed, going to check your phone to see that it was dead. You dropped it into your lap with a sigh and leaned your head on the window to gaze outside. The cold glass felt nice on your forehead- a contrast to the flushed hotness you had been feeling whenever your mind drifted to your fight with Spencer. The pent up anxiety from this case had really weighed on you- the unsub was killing teen girls and was framing the deaths to look like a suicides. This struck a chord with you, but you tried your hardest to not let it show. You thought back to your argument earlier, where your icy exterior had faltered slightly.
Most of the team was in the break room of the police station you were working the case at, fueling up on the coffee you all so desperately needed. You were the last one to fill your cup, or so you assumed, so you decided to fill your mug to the top with what was left in the coffee pot. Spencer was the last to walk in, and when he saw you holding the empty pot he immediately started in on you.
“Wow, I'm not surprised Y/N took the last of the coffee. Predictable,” he said with a huff, slamming his travel mug on the counter. You winced at the noise, your stress headache was back and you didn’t feel like dealing with his temper.
“You know what Reid? Maybe if you weren’t shitting around with that pretty receptionist over there, you would’ve gotten here on time. Not my fault men think with their dicks,” you said the last sentence under your breath, but he definitely heard it from his flustered reaction.
“I was asking her to bring me some files!” he yelled, seemingly defending himself to the room of your teammates who had stopped in their tracks to watch their daily entertainment. “You know what, Y/N, you’re just insufferable,” he said, turning to the coffee machine to fill it up. Your eyes widened, but you tried your best to mask your expression or to come with a response- when both failed, you stormed out of the room and went to the bathroom to ground yourself, not hearing Morgan whack him on the back of the head once you were out of sight.
-
You had both been silent for about 20 minutes when you decided to look back at him for the first time. He was shifting in his seat, trying to get comfortable for a nap. You couldn’t stand to sit here in silence for what could possibly be hours, so you tried to break the ice.
“Tired?” you asked him. Simple, but enough to get the two of you talking. Or so you thought.
“Yeah, someone took the last cup of coffee,” he said sarcastically, not daring eye contact.
Groaning, you opened the car door, stepped out and slammed it, deciding to walk down the street you had stopped on until you reached the dead end. It had begun to snow as you walked, and you cursed yourself for forgetting your jacket. At this point, it didn’t matter- the icy coldness of the outdoors was better than the coldness coming from Spencer's attitude.
 After walking for a few minutes, you had come across a cliff with a view overlooking the city below. The sight was enough to make you forget about your dead phone and the genius, who had, unbeknownst to you, quietly followed you to this spot. You spotted a green wooden bench overlooking the city and took a seat. It wasn’t long before your tears began to flow. They were wet hot tears of embarrassment, of anger, and of sadness. For years working in the BAU, you had tried to keep up your barrier, being the badass in the black boots (Garica’s loving nickname for you). Your past weighed on you, however, and you kept everyone at an arm's length. All of these people you so desperately wanted to be closer to, and one person in particular who uncharacteristically gave you butterflies. Letting these people in, however, meant vulnerability. Getting close to someone just meant that losing them would inflict great pain on you, and you didn’t think you could survive any more loss in your life.
After crying for a few minutes and wiping your tears on your sleeves, you felt a sweater being draped around your shoulders. The sweater smelled like him. He made his way around the bench and sat next to you. You hastily wiped the last of your tears and scooted to the edge of the bench to stay as far away from Spencer as possible.
“So, why'd you follow me? I thought I was ‘insufferable’” you quoted him from earlier, the sentiment that struck a chord. You hugged the sweater tighter to your body, ignoring that it belonged to him because the chill of the night catching up with you.
“Listen, Y/N, I'm sorry about that. You know how I get when I'm having difficulty with a case, and it's not like we have a great track record with each other,” he defended himself, and he was right. Neither of you really expressed outward kindness for each other, but you never knew why. “But… I didn’t think today was any different,” he finally looked up at you. 
“You’re right, Reid. Today isn’t any different,” you sighed, avoiding actually telling him what was wrong- although your splotchy red post-cry face was telling enough. He flinched at your use of Reid- although you two were “frenemies,” you always called him Spencer, sometimes even Spence. The team teased you for it but you shrugged it off- “Spence” was just easier to say, or so you told yourself.
“Then… why did you storm off?” he asked softly, looking back down at his hands on his lap, fidgeting with them slightly. You avoided his gaze, knowing that you were about to tell him something that only Garcia knows- she did a bit of research on you because she wanted to know why you were so cold, and when she found out that your parents had died at a young age, she was nothing but kind to you. She also kept everything to herself, which you were grateful for.
“When I was in high school, I was in a really bad place,” you started, fighting back the tears. Spencer scooted closer to you, urging you to continue. “I wasn't very well liked. When I was 15, my parents both died in a car crash and I transferred schools to live with my aunt,” you confessed. Spencer's expression saddened greatly, and he rested his hand on your arm as a form of comfort. You gave him a look that said “oh, and that's not even the half of my trauma” before you continued.
“At this new school, I was bullied a lot. Like, a lot a lot. People told me I was a waste of space, I was… insufferable,” you said, ignoring his pitying expression. “I started to believe these things. Spence… I tried to take my own life,” you said, finally breaking down in tears. Before you could continue, he wrapped his arms around you and you buried your face in his chest, letting your messy tears stain his shirt without thinking twice. His hands stroked your back, soothing you. You had melted into him, finally feeling vulnerable for the first time in years. For some reason, you were no longer embarrassed of your vulnerable side. You bore your heart and soul to this man and were greeted with nothing but kindness. Pulling away for a moment, you continued telling your story.
“I’m doing a lot better now,” you said, wiping your tears with your sleeve as he maintained eye contact, showing his full support. “I don’t have those thoughts anymore, and if I do I know to get help. It’s just difficult to get close to people because I'm afraid… that if I lose them, I’ll be right back where I was when I was 18,” you finished, realizing his hands were grabbing yours.
“Y/N, I am so sorry. This case probably affected you differently and I was such an ass earlier, god I'm terrible,” he criticized himself, putting his head in his hands. You reached over and took his hands in yours again, resting your entwined fingers between you. This was the most physical contact you had ever had with him, but for some reason it felt more right than anything- you never knew what you were missing until now.
“Spence, there's no way that you would have known,” you soothed, looking into his eyes and rubbing his hand with your thumb. He looked down at your hands and sighed, before returning his gaze to you, but there was something different about his expression. Rather than his usual contempt, or even the pity from a few minutes ago, he now looked almost amazed. Like you were some celebrity or a superhero who had just saved the world. Before you even knew what you were doing, you started to lean in, Spencer mirroring you. Soon enough, you were inches away from his fluttering lashes, you could feel his breath on your lips. You pulled away suddenly, apologizing profusely for your out of character actions.
“Oh my god Spence, I'm so sorry, I think I'm just emotional right now, and you're being so nice to me, I didn’t mean to make things weird,” you avoided eye contact, face flushed with embarrassment.
“Y/N, it's okay! I leaned in too…” he blushed. You looked back up at him to see his eyes were already on you. Simultaneously, you both leaned in and crushed your lips together, his arms snaking around your waist and yours resting on the sides of his face. Your lips moved in perfect harmony with passion as you leaned your back against the bench armrest, him leaning forward to keep your lips connected. There was a hunger between you two- like these years of bickering and sexual tension (that apparently everyone but you two had noticed) had built up so much, it finally spilled and manifested itself as a makeout session with your once enemy.
You didn’t know how long you stayed like this, entwined with each other, before you both came up for air. He pulled away from you, still leaning over you but his face was now a couple inches away, and smiled. You both sat up and started to laugh uncontrollably. It was ridiculous, really- the two of you having an intense makeout sesh only seconds after you bore your soul to him. But he was Spencer, and you were you. 
“That was…” you started.
“Amazing,” Spencer finished for you. You both sat in silence for a minute, his hand touching his lips, before you scooted closer to him and rested your head on his shoulder, curling your legs under you. He wrapped his arm around you and your hands met, resting between the two of your warm bodies.
 “What are you thinking about?” he asks you. You sigh in contentment, the cold air biting your nose in the right way.
“I'm thinking that this is one of those moments that are so... perfect. It’s just so wonderful, you almost feel sad because... nothing will ever be this good again,” you confessed. He took his arm back from around your shoulder and faced you, looking in your eyes.
“If you’ll be my girlfriend, I can promise you that we can have endless moments like this,” he told you, taking you by surprise. You looked at him, smiling widely as his face broke into insecurity.
“Your… girlfriend?” you asked, still in shock. He started to fidget a bit in his seat.
“Obviously, you don't have to do anything you don't want to do, I know this is really sudden but I don't know… I'm sorry, I know we're supposed to hate each other or whatever, but I’ve just… I’ve liked you for a while now,” he blurted. You laughed at his shyness, it was really adorable to see him flustered like this around you.
 “Spencer, I really like you. I’ve liked you ever since you spilled your coffee on me on my first day,” you recalled fondly, he smiled. “I even liked you when you tried to clean it up but accidentally felt up my boob,” you laughed at that memory, he blushed profusely. “I think these little arguments that we get into were just fueled by my ‘keep everyone at arm's length’ rule- it was you that I was afraid to get close to, because Spencer Reid, you are dangerous. You have the capability of shattering my heart into pieces because I just like you so damn much,” you confessed to him, his face was in awe. You studied his expression, lips parted slightly, eyebrows raised. His eyes held pools of adoration, and rather than be scared and shy away from it, you finally wanted to dive in and soak in it. His expression softened as he leaned in, tilting your head up by putting his hand on your chin.
“Y/N,” he whispered. “I swear to never shatter your heart into pieces if it's the last thing I do,” he said softly before closing his eyes and pressing his lips to yours. This kiss held less intensity, but more soft passion and caring. You felt safe in his embrace, safe for the first time in years, and you knew this is where you were meant to be.
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catzula · 3 years
Text
It’s hard NOT to be a fangirl (especially when the setter is Oikawa Tooru)
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A/N: is it evident how much in love I am with this man? I cried at his backstory, I did that. Well, uh, hope you enjoy! And I have a mountain of hw and exams coming up so I might not be able to write something so thats that.
Warnings: spoilers!!! For the spring tournament so beware. Cursing? 5.9k? Oikawa crying in the end? Its NOT angst tho. Also not edited cuz its 1 am
Genre: fluff, Iwaizumi's sister!reader
Synopsis: maybe confusing you with a fangirl wasn't exactly starting off the right foot, but Oikawa thought the stranger that sat with him till the beginning of his next match was... quite charming.
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Oikawa might've been many, many things, but he was not a coward.
Most of the time, at least.
Whenever it was his feelings he had to be brave about, he never succeeded, especially not when they were towards you. You, who laughed and stood with him, never across but always beside him. Oikawa couldn't afford to be brave.
It was the first day of the Interhigh matches when he had met you. To say Oikawa was having a bad day would be an underestimation. He got dumped by his girlfriend that very day, right before his match, and brutally ripped out of the soft, consoling presence of his fans by Iwaizumi. He just wanted to be fawned over and comforted, maybe eat a snack or two while he was at it, but he didn't even get to do that?
"Stop pouting, Shittykawa." Iwaizumi muttered when Oikawa made an exaggerated 'hmph!' sound for the 20th time the last 5 minutes. "We need to go to the gym, and you need to focus."
"You need to focus too!" Oikawa protested, "but look at you getting ready to go to a date- hey, agh!" Holding the back of his head, Oikawa pouted even deeper this time. "You didn't need to hit me!" Oikawa whisper-yelled.
"I told you to shut the fuck up. Hold your tongue if you don't want to get beaten." Iwaizumi whispered angrily, sending a side glance at his coach to try and see if he had heard stupid Oikawa. Iwaizumi took a breath of relief when the coach didn't even look his way.
"We're gonna sit in the back stands so coach won't be able to see us. You can still watch the game from there, too." Iwaizumi finally spoke after they arrived in the gym, eyes scanning the room to find the perfect hiding place.
"You mean I am gonna sit in the back stands, all alone, cold and freshly dumped." Oikawa frowned, his frown only growing deeper when his best friend rolled his eyes. "Am I wrong? Tell me I'm wrong! As you go on your marry way with your girlfriend, I will be sitting here alone and wallow in my sadness for what... 6 hours?!"
Iwaizumi clenched his teeth, knowing Oikawa had a point. Sighing, he rubbed his temples. "Look, fuck, I'm sorry, okay? Should I tell her I can't come?" He asked gruffly, and despite all his brutality and harsh words, Oikawa knew he would do it if he said the word. "Nah, it's okay. Have fun in your date!" Oikawa answered, earning a baffled glare from the boy. 
"Then why the fuck have you been guilt tripping me the past hour?"
"I'm lonely, Iwa-chan! I want attention." Oikawa grinned, professionally avoiding the slap coming his way, his grin growing even wider when Iwaizumi pinched the bridge of his nose in annoyance. " I wonder how I didn't murder you already. Anyway, settle there, and don't move anywhere until the match. And I mean, anywhere, no visiting your fans, looking at yourself in the bathroom mirror, taking selfies before the windows, nothing."
"Okay, okay, I'm not dumb!" Oikawa whined as he threw his gym bag on the free seats. "Say hi to her for me, Iwa-chan!" He called after his best friend. 
~~~
It had been almost an hour since Iwa had left, and Oikawa was losing his mind. Why did he agree to this again? He wanted to sit with the rest of his team, that sat across the court but Iwaizumi had told him not to move anywhere (and Oikawa was still a bit hurt at how grateful they seemed when Iwa had told them Oikawa would be sitting separately), so he had opted to social media. 
Oikawa wasn't aware of someone else entering the secret back stands and getting closer to him as he watched a short compilation of cat videos. "Oikawa-kun?" You approached him, hiding your snicker when he jumped in his place to look at you. He was quick to hide his shock, a mask of smugness quickly finding its place on his pretty face. 
"That's me." He smiled, his chocolate eyes scanning you and meeting your eyes back quickly. He watched as you sat a seat away from him, close but not approachable. He quirked his brow when you stood quiet, holding your phone a little too tightly. A shy fan, how sweet, he thought, smirking as he turned your way. He had an idea of what you wanted.
"Did you, perhaps, want a photo? I might not look as I normally would, though." Oikawa suggested, going by how you held your phone, checking the time every once in a while, you wanted a picture. His brows raised when you didn't say a word but bit your lip as if holding in a smile.
"That's your que to say 'no, Oikawa-kun, you look amazing!" He told you, not expecting your laugh to ring in his ears, baffled both by how sudden and how pretty the sound was. "No, you do look tired, actually." You finally answered, earning a gasp from the boy across you. 
"Oh, to think I was going to see the days of my fans calling me tired-looking and ugly!" He dramatically brought his hand to his face, peeking through his fingers to see what you were going to do. You should at least deny he looked ugly, he thought, but his eyes grew wide when you chuckled. Now you were just rude! Did he really look that bad?
"Sorry, I'm not a fan." You pressed your lips in an apologetic smile, trying to hold it sorry and not smug when you spotted the blush on his cheeks. "Oh- I thought..." He cleared his throat to hide the embarrassment. "Most of the pretty girls like you who aproach me are my fans, so I just assumed." He spoke when he finally managed to find back his high-toned, flirty persona.
"That crowd of groupies in the entrance should belong to you, too, then?" You teased, not expecting him to answer yes, bursting into laughter with the unexpected positive answer.
"I kind of have to ask, though, if you're not my fan, why did you approach me, calling my name?" He seemed nonchalant as if he was used to that, but you had to admit it was a bit creepy.
"Oh, Haji- Iwaizumi sent me." You corrected yourself when you remembered how your brother had told you not to tell Oikawa you were siblings (he had warned you about how flirtatious Oikawa could get, and he might see it as a challenge if he figured you were his best friend's sibling. You didn't think it was true, they were best friends after all, but it was better to be cautious anyway.
"Iwa-chan? Ah, so he does care after all!" Oikawa blurted out, his words reminding how your brother had sent you here and how it was something way different than caring. "Well, he did want me to make sure you didn't leave here or call your ex. Heard you had some... problems."
"Cold as a stone, as always." He sighed, and you chuckled. "Can't exactly call it a problem, but being dumped isn't the best feeling in the world." He shrugged, taking a sip out of his water before flashing you a charming smile. Your brows furrowed when he admitted he was dumped, of course, Hajime had already told you that, but judging the boy by his looks, his nonchalant acts, and everything your brother had told to warn you, you hadn't expected him to admit that, especially not to a stranger. 
"Well, uh, that sucks." You answered awkwardly, not knowing how to approach the situation. "I'm sorry about that."
"Its okay, as it was bound to happen, anyway. Our relationship wasn't exactly sailing smoothly." He shrugged, but it was evident he was a bit broken about it. "I- uh, I'm not the person people would come for advice in these kind of situations, but I can... listen?"
You felt something warm blooming in your chest when his gaze locked on you, chocolate brown eyes the prettiest you've ever seen, but the surprised, almost grateful look was what made you feel that way. Did he only want someone to listen?
"It's okay, I don't want to burden you with my stupid problems." He chuckled, pulling his playful nature back on the surface. "I don't even know your name."
"Oh, shit, you're right!" You laughed when you realized you hadn't even told him your name but had offered a shoulder to cry on. "I'm Y/N, nice to meet you." You stuck your hand out, his warm (big-) hand gripping yours and causing that warm feeling that was in your chest to spread even more.
"Y/N-chan, it's very nice to meet you." He winked. "So, what is your relationship with our dearest Iwa-chan?"
"Oh- well, uh... you could say he sees me as a sister." You shrugged, not expecting him to pout sympathetically. "Oh no, sibling-zoned? That's harsh, man."
"No it's- hey, you have no right to pity me, you're the one freshly dumped!"
"Hitting low, are we?" He laughed, making you laugh with him. "You look like you're gonna die if you don't ask me how we broke up." He sighed after a second, although he still had a playful smirk. "I guess I have to tell you." He sighed one more time. "We're stuck here for at least 5 hours, anyway."
~~~
"Here you go, a granola bar. Are you sure you didn't want anything else?" You tossed the granola bar to Oikawa, who had his legs on the seats in front of him, making himself comfortable in the uncomfortable seats.
"Yeah, that's enough. Thank you, Y/N-chan." He smiled cheekily, opening the packet with his teeth. "The match is in about an hour, anyway, I shouldn't eat much."
"Sure, whatever you say. Well you were talking about a new player before I left."
"Before your stomach started to scream, you mean." He laughed, and you found yourself watching the smile. These past few hours had flown by so quickly that it almost felt like barely an hour. Oikawa was easy to talk to, and you always found something new to talk about, laughing almost at everything he said. He was really charming, and the confidence that oozed out of every move he did, every word he spoke was attractive, you had to admit.
But as much of a smug player he could be, he often acted childish, too, especially when he talked about a certain Kouhei of his did you see the childlike jealousy and competitiveness clearly. Though despite that, he would have a fond, soft look in his eyes whenever he talked about his teammates, making you feel almost jealous at how affectionate he looked about them.
You knew he was charming and flirtatious, your brother had warned you not to get close because he could and would have you falling for him in no time, but you had underestimated him. You had thought he was acting overly cautious as always, but apparently not.
You saw him checking his phone for a new message. "I gotta go warm up now." He told you as he stood up, the playful glint in his eyes not being missed by you. "I trust you'll watch and cheer for me, right, Y/N-chan?" His smirk was self-satisfied, already knowing the answer, but you didn't want to give him the pleasure. "I'd rather cheer for the ace, actually, much cooler than a setter."
Another dramatic gasp came from the proud setter, making you laugh. "How dare you! Setters are much cooler than aces, I'll have you know. I'll prove it in this match, too." He leaned towards you, and although you already knew how long he was, having him towering over you like this sent goosebumps down your spine. "I'll prove it, just make sure you watch closely." 
~~~
"So, was I right or was I right?" Your phone chimed with a new message, and you instantly knew who it was that sent the message. You opened Instagram, accepting the message request. 
"I couldn't tell since I was watching the ace the whole time, didn't have the chance to see if you were cooler." You texted back, almost able to see the pout forming on his lips on the other side of the screen. It was a lie, too. The moment you saw his serve, you were unable to take your eyes off him. He looked like a different person on the court. It was almost scary, how focused he suddenly became the moment he grabbed the ball, how he was aware of everything that was happening around him, developing strategies half you didn't even understand and it was terrifyingly beautiful, you had to admit. 
"Mean! And I had played exceptionally well just because you were watching :(" You giggled at the text, not noticing how your brother's eyes were narrowed and turned to you instead of the TikToks his girlfriend had sent him. "Who are you talking to?"
"Hm?" You flinched, so concentrated on your phone, you had forgotten your brother was there, too. "Oh, no one. My friend sent me a meme." You stared back at your brother, who was still watching you with narrowed eyes, waiting for you to crack, but you didn't. He nodded curtly, and though he could've pursued it further if not for his phone starting to buzz, the name of his girlfriend appearing on the screen. 
"Gotta take this." He told you, standing up and making his way to his room. "Don't stay up late texting." He told you as a warning. 
You wished you had taken your brother's advice the next morning when he came in to wake you up. You had texted Oikawa for hours into the night, only stopping when you fell asleep mid-conversation.
"Y/N, I need you to come to the sport center again, today." Hajime told you as you were brushing your teeth, and he was putting gel in his hair to make it look like his signature spiky style. "Again?" You rolled your eyes, earning a soft slap on your head from your brother. 
"Don't talk with your mouth full, and don't roll your eyes at me."
"I'll do whatever I- Ow! Okay, okay, I'll be there!" You muttered angrily, but a part of you, the smallest part of you, wasn't as angry as you showed him to be. 
~~~
You were there before him, this time. It had been almost 10 minutes since you had arrived, but Oikawa was nowhere to be seen (and you got ready especially neatly this time! What a shame). You sighed, opening your phone to text Hajime Oikawa wasn't here just as you felt a pair of warm hands closing your eyes from your back. 
"Quick, tell me the coolest volleyball position!"
"Ace!" You answered and heard his exaggerated sigh. "No, Y/N-chan, I thought we clarified this yesterday!"
"I never admitted to it, though." You told him with a sly smile, causing his fake anger and annoyance to fall and a laugh to breakthrough. "Clever little Y/N-chan." He muttered, plopping down to the seat next to you. 
"You look tired." You remarked, making him gasp. "And whose fault is that? You fell asleep! I waited an hour for you to write back, thinking you had something else to do." He frowned, making you chuckle.
"I take none of the blame, you talk too much." You teased.
"Only with people I like." He shot back, catching you off guard and making your eyes widen. "Ah, finally, I won this round!" He cheered. "You, on the other hand, look especially nice today, madame."
"Thank you, kind sir, I got a good night sleep, unlike you." You smiled cheekily, and he was about to answer before loud cheering filled the room and made you wince. You noticed how almost everyone was on their feet, watching the game closely.
"What's going on?" You asked the boy sitting next to you, now also watching the game with a Cheshire cat smirk.
"Karasuno's game started." He answered without taking his eyes off the game. "It was the freakish quick they used just then that caused the cheering."
"The freakish quick?" You repeated. 
"Yeah, watch." He told you, sounding excited and annoyed at the same time. You turned your eyes to where he was pointing at, a short, ginger boy. Your brows furrowed, trying to understand just why- 
"Oh, shit." You gaped when the boy flew over the court in mere seconds. The ball was on the other side of the net in almost less than a second, and it took you a moment to realize they had just made a spike.
"Oh shit, indeed," Oikawa answered, his smirk still on his lips, but his eyes weren't looking humored. "That little bastard, he had to be this fucking talented." He muttered, speaking almost to himself. 
"You don't look worried, though." You smiled. "There is no reason for me to be worried." He smirked proudly in answer, although it had a slight waver to it. "I'm much better than him as a setter. What worries me is the team itself."
"Are they that good? You looked much better in the match yesterday."
"Ah, I knew you were watching me, Y/N-chan! I'm too pretty not to look at." He swiped a soft-looking lock of hair out of his face with a playful smile. 
"Yeah, yeah, whatever." You muttered, hiding your embarrassment from him by turning back to the game. "See him, the short boy in the back, he's the libero." Oikawa told you, getting slightly closer to explain, and you would've understood it if it wasn't for how close he was all of a sudden. "He's one of the best I've seen, actually."
"W-what makes him so special?" You asked, turning your eyes back to the game from his pretty face (as if he wasn't handsome enough, he also had a good side profile?!) "That." he answered, his eyes glinting with something you could say awe. You turned back to the boy who leaped to the ground after the ball, his hand sliding over the surface and sending the ball straight up. "His reflexes are unbeleivable, and he's fast and smart, like the rest of his team." He explained further, not aware of how focused he suddenly was, and it was clear he was passionate about the sport. You had never understood why your brother felt devastated after a lost game, or why he was cheering on the top of his lungs, sometimes pushing himself so hard in training that he passed out, coming home late almost every day because of his practice.
But seeing Oikawa watch the game, seeing him in the game, you felt like you could understand what it was. You could never grasp the feeling, but you could understand what it was. And it was infuriating, made you jealous, and you couldn't understand why, but it also amazed you, making you yearn for the strange feeling.
"Oh, I'm sorry, I must be boring you to death." He realized, bringing his hand to scratch the back of his neck in embarrassment, cheeks flushing slightly after talking for almost an hour about everything going in the game, explaining them all in detail. 
"No, no its fine!" You answered, laughing at his flushed face. It was funny how he was a charming, devilish, smart, and manipulative guy at one second and a volleyball geek the other. "It helps me appreciate the game better." You shrugged, not aware of how his eyes glinted with your answer. "But don't you think I realized how you're overlooking everything the setter does. You didn't say anything about him."
"What, you're interested in him?" He pouted, causing you to laugh. 
"I didn't say I was interested, I'm just telling you you're ignoring him!" You protested after your laugh, but he still had a frown. "Sounds like you're interested, to me."
"No! Okay, okay, keep ignoring him, then. But don't think I missed the jelaousy-" You couldn't finish your sentence because of a sudden hand closing on your lips. "Nope, we don't say that here." He whispered, and somehow, you were able to hear him despite the loud cheering, the crowd, and the loud thumps of your heart.
"What, saying you're jealous?" You spoke beneath his fingers, noticing how his smirk grew wider and cheeks flushing pinker.
"Yep, let's not repeat that and I'll take my hand off you." He waited a few seconds as you stood silent, removing his hand, still having a suspicious look in his eyes. "Good girl." He told you, causing your eyes to widen and shout a protest. "O-oikawa! What the fuck?!"
"What, I didn't mean anything?" He answered innocently, but there was still a smirk on his lips. "Well, okay, I'll tell you about him if you're so curious." He sighed.
"As I said before, he's my Kouhei." You nodded for him to go on. "He's... talented. Very talented. A genius, actually." He laughed uncomfortably. "He's not on my level yet, but his talent... it even makes up for it and I hate to see how despite all my days I spent training, he's still better than me easily."
"I- oh." You muttered, not expecting something like this, especially for him to admit someone else was better than him and will always be better than him.
"Tomorrow we're playing with them." He told you, and despite the forced smile, you could see how he clenched his teeth. "I can't- I won't lose to him."
"You won't." You agreed.
"I'll fight as hard as I can but we won't lose to them. I'll fight Shiratorizawa, I'll play against Ushiwaka and show him, prove him I did the right thing by choosing Seijoh and not his dumb school." He looked determined, eyes glinting with such determination that even though you had no idea what he was saying at that point, you wanted to agree and cheer him on.
"You will." You agreed once again, causing him to smile. "I'm sorry, I think I'm just a bit stressed."
You smiled, shrugging as if to say it's nothing. "No, no problem, I understand what you mean. It must be nerve-wracking."
"Well, it is."
"I'm horrible at advice, but uh, want me to show you what I do when I'm stressed? Like before exams and stuff. It might help." You smiled, extending your hand out to show him, not expecting him to do the same, and hold your hand like a handshake.
"You're right, that does help." He grinned, shaking your hand and making you burst into laughter. "That wasn't what I was going to do!"
"Oh, it wasn't? Still helped, though!" He told you innocently, teasing you even more. "C'mon, stick your hand out like this." You giggled.
"Now start drawing-" you told him, focusing on drawing shapes and letters in his hand. He was going to say a snarky remark at how that wasn't how it went, but Oikawa couldn't bring himself to stop you from doing whatever you were doing as he watched you focus on his hand, fingers running over his calloused ones, the tip of your tongue sticking out from the corner of your mouth without realizing, and every move of your finger sent goosebumps down his body.
Noticing you had lost yourself in thought, absent-mindedly going on drawing on his hand for a good few minutes, you raised your eyes to meet his brown ones. "Does that... help?"
"It- uh, it does. I'll need you to do this before the game tomorrow, too, though." He smirked playfully, his hand closing on yours just as he said it. "Well, I'm glad I could help." You shrugged, trying to hide how embarrassed you were. You could tell he already knew how you were feeling by the smile on his lips, but instead of teasing you about it, he turned to the game without letting your hand go, smiling even wider when you didn't pull it, either.
~~~
"You guys were great at the game today." You texted Oikawa that night, not sure whether he would answer, though your thoughts disappeared when he texted back instantly. 
"It must be your doing." He wrote, sending a picture of him doing the peace sign right after. 
"I don't think I can come early tomorrow, though. I won't be able to do it again. Are you ready for the game tomorrow?"
"Oh no, how could you? I can never overcome the stress now. Will you let me call you if I say I'm not ready?" He texted back, making you chuckle. 
"Just this once."
Your phone started ringing right after, a 'yahoo' greeting you when you picked it up.
"Hi, Oikawa-kun."
"Are you free?" He asked, and you shrugged as if he was across you and not on the other side of the phone. "I was getting ready to bed."
"Thinking of me before bed, you must have a crush on me, Y/N-chan." He chuckled, somehow still able to tease you through the phone. "Hey, I-"
"No, actually, don't answer that." He stopped you. "I had something else in mind when I called you, but you cute voice is too distracting." He sighed. 
"Oh." You answered, making him laugh, his laugh ringing in your ears. 
"Yeah, well... I was wondering, I mean after the match tomorrow." He cleared his throat. "No, actually, will you cheer for me tomorrow?" He finally asked, and you could tell he was holding his breath.
"Cheer for you?" You repeated.
"Yeah, only- only for me." He spoke, this time merely a whisper. "I mean, of course you cheer for me, everyone does because I'm that-"
"Yes, Oikawa." You laughed and cut his self appreciating ramble off. "I'll cheer for you, and only you."
"Y-you will? Well then, maybe you'll accept my offer to perhaps grab a coffee or something after the game? To make up for not being there with me tomorrow?" You were trying to stifle a laugh at how unsmooth he was despite his reputation when he spoke again. "Am I- am I pushing it? I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable." 
"No, you're not making me uncomfortable!" You protested quickly, already aware of how dramatic he could get. "I'm just, well, surprised. But yes, I'd like to grab a coffee with you. Anywhere but those god awful stands, actually." You chuckled, hearing the relieved breathe coming from his side of the line. 
"Well, if that's settled," he spoke, and you could hear the smile in his voice. "Tell me, Y/N-chan, what's your favorite color?"
Wow, you thought, he really sucked at flirting. 
~~~
"I'm here." You texted both your brother and Oikawa. It was merely minutes away from the start of the game, all because of a dumb chemistry quiz you had at school. You finally found a free seat when you noticed they were done warming up and were getting ready.
"Good, we're about to start the game. I'll probably meet my gf after the game, so don't start crying if you don't see me." Was the first text you got, rolling your eyes at how much of an idiot your brother was. "Yeah, whatever, not like I'm here to see you." You texted back, noticing how his head perked up when he read the text, eyes scanning the seats to find you as he texted a "WHAT THE FUCK DOES THAT MEAN?!"
"Wish me luck, Y/N-chan, just remember your promise to cheer for me ;p" Oikawa texted back, also raising his head to search you in the crowd, but he was successful at finding you, eyes locking for a second, of course, he sent a playful wink at you.
The game started after that, and you could swear you were losing years of your life with each given and taken points. You had screamed at the top of your lungs at one point, so worked up, you sometimes forgot what was happening.
"Oikawa, good serve!" You screamed (he had told you to say that when he was serving the day before, and you could see it immediately brought a smile on his lips). 
The third set was the worst, you thought. No one ever got to widen the point gap, always one of them at match point, points being given and being taken, and you were sure you were going to lose your mind if they-
You watched as Oikawa ran to receive a ball, running so fast that he was unable to stop himself from crashing into the table, falling on his bad knee that you could only imagine how much it hurt, but not before pointing at Hajime, your brother, the ace. He set an incredible ball for him, incredible even for someone like you who didn't know anything other than the basics about volleyball.
You could feel tears swelling in your eyes as he tumbled into the table, pulling himself back up almost immediately and limping back towards the court.
He was... he was determined to win. 
But he couldn't.
You watched as Oikawa tried to receive the ball flying towards him and failed. You couldn't watch when he realized he failed. He lost. But he was still there to make his teammates gather for the lineup, patting them on the back to cheer them up, thanking the crowd, but his face was down, helping his teammates collect themselves back, your brother too when he was also devastated inside.
Still, Oikawa managed to hold it all in, unlike your brother and most of the team that was crying. You couldn't hide your disappointment in, either, eyes already wet with tears because you thought they were going to win, and they thought they were going to win too, and seeing Oikawa like this, it hurt. You watched them as they left the court, your eyes following the brunette who had separated himself from the rest of the team, going somewhere else with a quick pace. 
You rose to your feet without even realizing it, running after him without thinking what to say or to do, but you just wanted to be there, and you were so focused on finding him that you hadn't realized Hajime following his friend or rather, you, either. 
You were about to enter the room Oikawa had entered a minute before you when someone held you by the arm and pulled you back. "Y/N, don't." Your brother warned you, and maybe you should've listened since they were friends for years. "It's not- you shouldn't go in, not right now. Give him time." 
He sighed when you freed your arm from his grip. "He wouldn't want you to-" the door shut in his face, and he only got a glimpse of his best friend's tear-stricken face, "-see him like that." Iwaizumi finished his sentence as a whisper to himself.
You thought this might've been a bad idea the moment you entered the room. "O-oikawa?"
"What are you doing here?" You heard him say, the room dim-litted, making it near impossible to see his expression, but something in you told you, you didn't want to. "I'm- well, I'm here to see if you're okay-"
"Get out." You heard him say, merely a whisper but still there. "I don't want you to see me like this, stop looking at me! I don't want to see the same pity I see at everyone else's face, pitying me for losing to my own Kouhei and-" His voice getting higher and higher with each word, he was almost screaming the last few words. So you hugged him, you didn't know what led you to do so, was it instinct to relieve his tension? You didn't know, but it still worked, you noticed. 
His stiff muscles started to relax with the sudden contact, and though he stood as still as a stone, not hugging you back, you didn't feel rejected. "Shh, I know." You whispered, breathe brushing over his skin and sending goosebumps down his spine. 
"We lost." He whispered, a sob finding its way out of his lips. His arms came up, hugging and pulling you to himself, almost as if he tried to swallow you whole, burying his face to your hair. He was big, much bigger than you, for sure, so the sobs that shook him shook you, too, but you didn't mind. 
"We lost." He sobbed again, and again, and again and again. It took him a while to let it all out, but he felt better when he did. His arms were still around you when his cries had died, your scent affecting him to relax.
"Thank you." You heard him whisper as he pulled back, not looking in your eyes once. "Of- of course." You shrugged, feeling somewhat awkward as he wiped his face with a tissue. 
"Well," he spoke, looking in your eyes for the first time for what felt like hours, "that's me. The Oikawa Tooru. Now you know me better than almost anyone else." He shrugged, trying to sound and look indifferent but failing miserably. His voice and his hands shaking, eyes looking at you with almost fear.
"Are you going to leave now?"
"Leave?" You repeated. 
He shrugged. "Now that you've seen I'm not the clever captain or the charming playboy, but a- an insecure, jealous man, who is now also a failure, are you going to leave?"
"Oikawa," you whispered, noticing he was more insecure than he let on. "Just because you are more than what you look like, it doesn't cancel the others. You're still the smart, cunning, and amazing captain, the charming flirt who made me fall for him in mere days, and the man who lost a match with a point. A man, striving to be better than everyone else, with goals and a purpose in life. I don't think I could leave you for having a purpose in life." You chuckled. 
"Well, that of course if you-" Before you got to finish, you felt pressure on your lips, stopping you from talking. It was his soft lips, this time, making you silent. It was a soft kiss, his hand cupping your cheek and pulling your face towards his, his lips were almost brushing yours, but it still felt heavenly. 
"I think we should go before your brother marches in and kills us both." He whispered to your lips with a sly smile. "Yeah, I think you're- wait, you knew he was my brother?!" You exclaimed, making him chuckle.
"Of course I did, who do you take me for? I am the clever captain of Seijoh, I knew it the moment you told me you were like a sister to him."
"Well, the clever captain of Seijoh, use your brain to find us another way out but the door, since I'm pretty sure Haji is guarding it." 
"Ah, I have the perfect idea." He snickered, picking up his phone, and entering the name of Hajime's girlfriend.
"Tooru, where are you, are you okay, do you-"
"Hey, hey, I'm alright, I just need a favor." Oikawa whispered into the phone. "I'm stuck inside a room, and the door is being guarded by Iwa-chan whose waiting to kill me, so please get him out of here?"
"Tooru, are you with a girl?" You heard the voice screaming on the other end of the line, making you both wince. "Please just help me just this once?" 
You heard her sigh. "Okay, okay, hang in there." She closed the phone, and it took only two seconds for your brother's phone to ring.
You were in awe when Hajime suddenly screamed, "What?! Whose checking you out? I'm fucking coming baby, don't move anywhere." sprinting down the hall.
"You're a magician." 
"I'm amazing." He muttered right before leaning in for yet another kiss, smiling against your soft lips.
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writingsbychlo · 3 years
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upholding traditions | dave hodgman
word count; 19,396
summary; a year later, dave finding himself in need of his christmas party saviour again, and is missing his girlfriend, thinking she won’t make it home for the holidays.
notes; honestly, this switches between his POV and hers a lot just to get the full story across, so just roll with it. click here to check out their new years outfits, I had very particular images in mind.
warnings; underage drinking, smut, semi-public sex
“Oh, Dave, isn’t that just the loveliest little garden?” He could only nod, biting down on the inside of his cheek, hard, to contain the yawn that he wanted to release. On one side was his mother, and on the other side was his ex, her shoulder pressed up to his as the perfume he once thought smelt alluring and sexy now just gave him a headache and made his nose wrinkle was overwhelming, her phone held out in front of the two of them, as she swept through photos of her new home. “You know, Dave, if you had a nice little house like that, you could host some lovely little event. Are you planning to host any, Aubrey?”
He gave her his best smile, knowing how fake it all must seem, and when she finally pulled her arm back and placed her phone away, her body leaving his side, he felt like he could breathe again, no longer sandwiched between the two women. The problem was simple; his mother had joined his neighbourhood book club, as had Aubrey’s mother, and over the year, as the group cycled between various members houses for meetings, his mother had become much more social and friendly. Aubrey had transferred home for college, after Ronnie and his piss-poor band had landed a series of songs to be made for cat-food commercials that he considered his ‘big break’.
Slapping an engagement ring on the pushy blonde’s finger and deciding the two of them would move in, Dave had come home from college, exhausted and ready to crash, to find his mother had befriended his ex, and everything since that day only one week ago had been a steady de-escalation in his run down to Christmas.
After the raging success that last year’s set of Christmas parties had been, and the formation of the neighbourhood book club - who seemed to have now self-elected themselves as the community event organisers - he once again found himself standing in an itchy festive jumper on Christmas Eve, a glass of punch in his hand as he tried to wrap his head around the fact that if his mother and his ex-girlfriend got any friendlier, she might actually start being invited to family gatherings and thanksgivings.
With her ‘big news’, in the form of an engagement and a small house in her hometown as she decided she was never going to break free, apparently, Dave found himself with a whole new set of problems. He was being badgered by everyone he knew about when he was going to settle down, when he was going to find himself a nice girl, when was it going to be his turn to get a house or start making roots, and what his direction was?
The worst of it all? You weren’t here to save him this time.
Three weeks before Christmas, and you’d broken the news to him over your weekly video chat date. You weren’t making it home for Christmas this year, your junior college year workload had all become too much and you were staying behind over your break to finish it all up. You’d been vague, not many details and so he didn’t have much to talk about when the older ladies of the neighbourhood asked him where you were, meaning they were all fixing him with disapproving stares and offering to set him up with their granddaughters or nieces.
Glancing around the room, he longed to catch sight of you, your sweet smile, enough to light up a room, but he already knew he wouldn't find you. The last time he had seen you in person had been the summer, when he’d flown all the way to your university campus as a surprise, spending the entire last week of summer with you, and flying back for his first day there, falling asleep in his first lecture of second year, and yet he hadn't regretted a moment of it. Going to college at the opposite end of the country to your girlfriend was hard, more so when your schedules never aligned and workloads began to pile on, but he struggled not getting to see you for so long.
Swallowing thickly, Dave gave up on all decorum and falseness of polite wishes, not missing the side-eye his mother gave him as he slumped out of the conversation, not having a single fuck to give about the names of paint samples Aubrey had been trying on the walls, but instead dipping down to sit in the chair closest to himself. The night was pushing on, and he had no doubt that the dinner would be being served soon, and he placed his chin onto his hand, elbow balanced on the tabletop as he propped up his head and tried to stay awake.
“Dave, you’re being rude!”
He flinched as his mother pinched at his shoulder, and he swatted her away, glaring up at her as he scowled at him, and Aubrey chuckled a little, a sound that grated his nerves when he was already wearing so thin on tolerance for any kind of festivities right now. “Girl talk, am I right?”
“Sure, Aubrey.”
“I think there’s something else bothering you. Do you want to talk about it?” His mother cooed a little, patting her shoulder, before seeming to find someone else to talk to, wandering away across the room and starting up another conversation, leaving him alone with the woman, and she sipped at the drink in her hands as she stared at him. “Is it because you’re here alone?”
Narrowing his eyes on her, he huffed, and she shrugged slightly.
“It’s okay to be alone, Dave.”
“I’m not alone.” His words were growled out a little bit, and she only seemed to fix him with an even more pitying look, shaking her head slightly, grown-out bangs falling into her face from the slicked-back style she’d put them in, and she tucked them away, the smile on her face now unobscured, and he couldn't quite decipher whether it was condescending or just overly concerned. “I’m not. My girlfriend just couldn't make it for Christmas this year.”
“Couldn’t? Or wouldn’t?”
He deadpanned, straightening up a little bit to look at her more clearly, and she fixed him with an innocent look. “What exactly is that supposed to mean?”
“Nothing!” She took another sip of her drink, clearly not done with her statement, before her shoulders were slumping as she waved her hand, trying to brush it off. “Sometimes it can just be a bad sign, y’know? When one person in a relationship starts to give up, and the other person starts having to carry all the weight. It never works out.”
“Oh, you mean like how it ended up with us?”
“That’s not fair.” She mumbled, at least having the dignity to look a little offended and guilty. “I was young, I was all over the place with my emotions. I didn’t know what kind of baggage I had then. I thought you were right for me, but it didn’t work out. I’m just saying, anybody who can’t make time for you at Christmas might not be worth it. C’mon, Dave, it’s the holidays. What else could she be doing?”
He gaped a little, not quite sure how to reply, a prickle of doubt racing through his veins as he thought about her words, a feeling he knew was inappropriate because he trusted you implicitly and knew you’d never lie to him, and he was certain that the flame was burning strong still, but now she’d planted that seed of anxiety, and it was growing rapidly.
“She should be here. It’s the most wonderful time of the year, after all.”
His lips flicked up at the edges, a smile mirrored on her face as she finally cracked through his shell, and he knew she wasn’t all that bad, she just had no filter and ofter was a little too crass for her own good, but Aubrey wasn’t a terrible person, he just didn’t like her all that much. His phone buzzed in his pocket, and he patted himself down for it, lifting it to his face, and feeling the entirety of his body perk up as your name flashed access the screen with a new unread message.
A simple text, asking what he was up to, and Aubrey chuckled as she realised it must have been you, but he was barely even in the room anymore, mentally he was in a bubble with you, now. Lifting his phone up to take a picture of the event before him, his eyes swept across everyone in the shot, just once, before he was pausing, and looking again. Lifting down the device, he stared out at the crowds with an uninterrupted gaze, checking that what he was wasn’t just a red-clad illusion on his phone screen.
No, he was right.
There you were, hands still tucked inside the pockets of your coat, scarf around your neck, and you waved at him, phone in your hand still open to the texts on the screen, and he shot up in his chair as he stared at you, jaw hanging open and a disbelieving look on his face. Turning off your phone and tucking it back into your pocket, you unwrapped your scarf from around your neck, hanging it up on the overly crowded coat racks, and turning away from him as you watched your boyfriend get up from the table to shoulder through the crowds towards you.
Slipping your coat down your arms and hanging that up, you shook your hair free of the windblown positions that it had been blown into, turning back to sweep your eyes over the hoards of people. You barely had a chance, before hands were finding your heels, pulling you forwards until you were sharing space with the man, breath shared, a shaky sigh released from him, before the gap was closed.
His mouth slanted across yours, warm and wet and eager, lips moving softly as he tries to tempt you to kiss him back, and you pressed back just as happily. Your hands sat on his sides, feeling him shake a little under your touch as you did, trembling at the connection as you finally saw each other again for the first time since the middle of the year, and he barely pulled back for breath, before he was kissing you deeply once again.
His fingertips were digging into the edge of your jaw, falling way lower and lower, until one was resting gently on your neck your pulse thrumming under his hand, as the other smoothed along your arm, dipping under to sit low enough to reach your waist. Giggling a little against his mouth as his fingertips tickled along your sides, he whined at the break in your exchanges, leaning in to press a series of shortened kisses to your lips until you were resting back from him, far enough for you to crack your eyes open and really take him in.
“Hi, Davie.”
“Really? ‘Hi, Davie.’ That’s all you have to say?” He repeated you, brows shooting up but a playful smile finding his lips as he pinched at your side enough to tickle you, a quiet yelp on your lips as you jerked, fixing him with a mock-glare that scarcely lasted longer than a second, before your arms were coming up to loop around his neck, allowing him to pull you in close again. “You have some explaining to do, ma’am.”
“Couldn’t leave you alone on Christmas, could I?” He smiled, bumping the tip of his nose with your own, and your heart raced in his chest as you found yourself wrapped up in him once again, the feeling being sorely missed. Running your fingers through his hair gently, scratching at the shorter hairs at the base of his neck, he let out a familiar little rumble of complete contentment as you did. “I wanted to surprise you. I didn’t know until about a week ago, but I realised that if I pulled some all-nighters and grabbed a last-minute plane ticket, I could be here to see you.”
One of his hands rubbed along yours lightly, sealing around your wrist to bring your hand around close enough for him to press a kiss to your palm, before letting it fall back to his shoulder. “When do you stay until?”
“Right through to the New Year, baby.” His face lit up, a smile that still managed to make butterflies raise up in waves within you, despite a year having passed in your relationship now. “I cleared my schedule for you. You’re going to be getting a whole lot of me real soon.”
“I should hope so.” He whispered, before pulling you back in, puckering his lips to tell you what he wanted, and letting you be the one to close the gap this time. It was softer, and calmer, and much more loving. The first kiss; needy and frantic and simply a reassurance that you were there and not a figment of his imagination had slipped away, and was replaced within the both of you as something that was much more about passion and comfort.
It hurt you, to see so little of him, to know that he missed you just as much as you missed him, every time you had to cancel a date, or fell asleep too soon in differing timezones, or staggered conversations that took the whole day to have via texts, all becoming irrelevant as you found one another again.
His tongue teased along your lower lip, prodding slowly, and you grinned, feeling his own lips curve up against yours in response, but you only made him wait a moment, before you were parting them and allowing him access to lick into your mouth. Beat shared, noses bumping together as mouths slid together and connected with deep and loving exchanges, head twisting to the side as you tried to push yourself up even further into him.
His hands slipped a little lower, the both of you seeming to forget the world around you for a moment as your front pressed to his, hearts beating together in unison and thudding against one another’s chests. For a moment, it was a space in which only the two of you existed, nobody else mattering, before the tranquillity was shattered.
“(Y/N)!”
A loud squealing, high-pitched, drawn-out and overexcited. A voice he knew well and Dave pulled away with a startled shock, eyes going wide and cheeks flushing red in a way that was mirrored to your own as embarrassment flushed your system, in time to find sights on the younger girl in the glittery dress dashing towards you. You dropped down to take a knee just in time, before you were almost being knocked over, her arms wrapping around your neck and her face pressing into your neck as she all but screamed happily into your ears.
Standing back up with the little girl in your arms, her legs found a place either side of your body, sitting on your hip as she held on tightly, and you turned to face her older brother, an adoring look you recognised well was flashing on his features. “I missed you!”
“I missed you too, Stella! We can have so much fun now that I’m back, though!”
“I got new toys!” She was still shouting, making Dave wince a little beside you, and you were sure your eardrum was ringing, but her apology as your boyfriend chastised her for her volume was enough to make your heart melt. “Can I tell you about them?”
“Why don’t you tell me over dinner? I’m a bit of a surprise to everyone, so I think I’ll be sitting at your table again.”
“Well, that seems fitting,” Dave mumbled, grinning at you when you rolled your eyes at him, and yet you still found yourself leaning into him when his hand found your lower back, pressing a kiss to your forehead, and scoffing at the dramatic whining and groaning Stella let out at the simple affections. “It’ll be just like last year.”
“I am a sucker for tradition.” You joked, his eyes glinting slightly, and before either of you could say anything else, attention was being called by the tap of a microphone on stage, announcing to you all that it was time to take your seats. Letting Stella back down to the ground, she was bolting away with the intention of leading the way from the very second her toes hit the floor, and Dave was soon after catching your hand with his, squeezing tightly.
He let you lead the way, pulling him along slowly, and his mum gasped loudly as he approached the table behind you, a beam taking over your face at the excitement that the older woman displayed. She was over to you both in a flash, arms held wide before they were wrapping around you and pulling you into her embrace, your hand shaking away from Dave’s so that you could hold her back just as tightly.
You giggled, your eyes meeting his for a second as his mother squeezed you tightly, rocking you from side to side, before she was finally letting you go. She had released you, just long enough to pinch at one of your cheeks lightly, the other arm sitting on your shoulder and giving a gentle squeeze.
“Your mother said you couldn’t make it! We weren’t expecting you, darling. It is lovely to see you, though!”
“Well, I came back as a surprise, she had no idea until she got a call to pick me up from the airport this morning.” His mother’s face cracked out in a smile as she laughed with you, and you felt his fingers inching along your arm, smoothing over your palm before weaving with your own once again, lacing together, and you wrapped your own back in comfort and security to assure him.
“It’s a good thing you did, too! Dave has been moping about all week since finding out you couldn’t make it.” You grinned, turning to look at your boyfriend as his cheeks flared up with red, swallowing thickly and glaring at his mother.
“Mom!”
“What? It’s true, and you know it! You’ve been moody and sulking, pouting all around the house.” He only flushed further, and you leaned in, muffling your laughter by pressing your face into his shoulder, and feeling him sag a little underneath you, giving in, stomping his foot like a child as he whined.
“Mom, stop it!”
“I think it’s cute.” You finally managed to contain your giggles, wrapping your spare arm around his waist, his other hand coming up to rest on your arm and he huffed out as he gave up on the argument, no longer fighting the truth about it all. He had been moody and grouchy, not excited to see in the new year alone, but now you were here with him, and his whole world was lighting up once again. “I missed you, too.”
“You two are just the sweetest.” Your eyes widened, almost having forgotten that his mother was there, and he chuckled down at you, smirking a little now that you were just as embarrassed as he was. “Do you want us to shuffle all the chairs up? We can drag another seat over, I’m sure we could make it work.”
“Thanks, Mrs Hodgman, but that’s okay. I already promised Stella that I’d sit with her this year again, and I never break my promises.”
She only chucked, nodding her head, before you were leaning up to press a kiss to Dave’s cheek, grinning to yourself at the warmth of his skin as he flushed with shyness once again. “Okay, my dear, I’ll go and have a word with the kitchen and see if we can’t rustle up an extra plate for you.”
She walked past you both, wobbling a little on tall heels as her wine raced through her systems, and your boyfriend shook his head as he watched his mother go. He was tugging on your arm, and you looked up at him, following his footsteps over to the kitchen, and Stella was waiting patiently, her hands pressed down into two seats on either side of her own body, preserving them both as other kids began to fill in around the table, denying them the chairs each time, a toothy grin with a missing tooth flashing up as you both arrived.
“Scoot, Stell.” Dave tapped at the back of the left end chair as you took the right, and her head snapped up to him, chocolate brown curls the same shade as her older brother’s bouncing as she did.
“No!”
“What do you mean ‘no’?” He looked utterly shocked, crushing down to her height, and she shrugged her shoulders, shaking her head at him.
“I want to sit in the middle! She’s my friend, too!” The younger girl insisted, and you couldn't hide your amusement as Dave gaped, eyes flickering up to you for support, before narrowing playfully when he realised he didn’t have it.
“Yeah, Dave. Stella’s my friend, too.”
He growled a little, the action more directed at you, a heatless warning, and his hand ruffled in his sister’s hair as he stood up, begrudgingly taking the other seat. He shuffled closer, until the edge of his chair was pressed up against hers, and his hand was reaching out to rest along the back of your chair, playing lightly with the strands of hair that he could reach, while your attention was turned to his sister. She was a whole year older, but just as adorable, and was already beginning to tell you all about her experience so far in second grade.
Her plate was placed down in front of her, and she paid no mind to it, the other children around the table receiving third as well, but she was far more focused on telling you all about the other kids that she’d met. You took charge, cutting up her food for you as you began to add into her stories, telling her all about your own experience in second grade.
“Y’know, Stell, I met your brother when I was in second grade.”
Her jaw dropped, turning to look back at Dave, who only nodded his head in confirmation, but seeming a little strained as he tried to remember that far back. “Really?”
“Really! He had just moved here, and you weren’t even born yet.” You poked at her sides, tickling her a little, and she broke out in a fit of childlike giggles, squirming slightly, pushing at your hands as she did. “He had two front teeth missing, and a buzzcut.”
Dave groaned behind the little girl, seeming to be patching it together now, a wicked glint on your face as you thought about even more details of the story. He ran a hand through his hair, the strands having been growing out over college, more than the short length that they had been when you’d reconnected with him last year, the strands sticking up a little over his head, messy and untamed, only making it worse the more he messed with it.
“He was in a superhero phase, and he came in wearing a different costume every day of the week.”
He let out a loud groan, but there was a smile hidden behind it, and you finished chopping up her food for her, placing the knife and fork down on the edges and pushing it back over to her, little hand picking up the shorter set of cutlery. The chair your boyfriend was sitting in scraped over the floor as he pushed away from the table, beginning to stand up and leaning over to press a kiss to his sister’s head as he passed her by, before coming to a stop before you.
The adult dishes were beginning to be bought out now that the kids all had their own, and he tipped his head in the direction of the bar, making you realise that neither of you had a drink. You’d been so caught up in the whirlwind excitement of surprising your boyfriend with your return that you’d completely neglected the scratching dryness in your throat, or the rumble in your stomach, lighting up a little bit at the thought.
You nodded your head, tipping your head into his hand when it came to rest over your cheek, leaning down enough to brush his lips against your own. It was barely a kiss, before a little hand was slamming down on the table beside you both, making you jump. “Gross!”
You couldn't help the laugh that you let out, head snapping back down to look at Stella as she glared at you both, your cheeks aching from the grin you held. “You don’t like kisses, Stell?”
“No!”
“Not even if I gave you some little kisses?” You leaned over, scoping her up and into your lap so that you could kiss the crown of her head, holding her to you tightly as you peppered the side of her face with little affections, her face growing red as she laughed and wriggled in your arms, barely an effort to escape at all as she cracked up. Just when she thought she’d made it and you let her go Dave caught her on the other side, pressing a kiss to his sister’s cheek, grinning wickedly as he walked away, and you watched her rub aggressively at both of her cheeks as she tried to wipe them clean.
When she deemed the task finished, she set off on her eating, pointedly moving across a seat to get away from you, dragging her plate over to the chair Dave had once sat in, sticking her tongue out at you as she went, and you only beamed, before she was diving into conversation with the other children.
A waiter leaned over, placing two larger plates down, one for you and one for your boyfriend, a smirk on his face as he glanced around the table, before looking to you, and you shrugged, knowing how amusing it was that for now the second year in a row, you were sitting at the kid’s table, despite being in your second year of college, and they walked away with a chuckle.
Moments later, Dave was filling the chair once again, placing a glass down in front of you and raising his brows in silent question of approval as he did. A bubbling gin and tonic, a bottle of beer for him, and you lifted it up, taking a sniff of the contents inside, before taking a testing sip. A concoction of fruity flavours exploded within your mouth, a delicious mix, nodding your approval to him, and he grinned around the neck of his beer as he took a swig himself.
His gaze lingered on you, remaining while you ate, beginning your food, only ever leaving you for a few moments as he ate himself, or answered a question for his sister or one of the other kids, looking away momentarily to chop food or find his drink. It wasn’t an uncomfortable stare, and each time you caught his eyes throughout your conversation and the meal, you felt nothing but utterly loved and cherished.
So, in the pause between your dinner and your dessert, you turned to him, shifting in your seat enough to tangle your feet with his under the table, and his smile seemed to brighten even further.
“Are you trying to burn the image of me into your head, or something?”
“What do you mean?” He moved a little himself, facing you more, one hand smoothing over the tablecloth to find your hand, lacing your fingers together. You waited, and you could tell that he knew exactly what you meant, before shrugging a little, and finally tearing his eyes from you to look around the room. “I hate that we’re always so far from each other, and that this is the first time I’ve seen you in months because college got so busy. I love you, and I’m happy with how we’re doing, but it just..”
“Sucks?”
“Yeah.” He sighed, squeezing your hand back when you squeezed his first, and he watched as people came and went, your attention turning to the mingling folks around you too, and yet you were still entirely wrapped up in one another. “I’m patient, and I’m happy to wait, but sometimes I just feel like we’re being left behind. I mean, my mom and all the neighbours keep going on about the future. They’re all bugging me about when I’m going to move out, start growing up. Simon and Big-C have their own place, Jane just got married, even Aubrey is engaged and moving in with Ronnie.”
He was talking himself breathless, and despite the slightly angry tone to his voice, you knew how to read him, being able to tell that it was more stress than it was frustration, and you placed a hand over his cheek, thumb rubbing over the skin gently to soothe him. Placing his hand over your own, and holding it there.
“Everybody just keeps acting like I have no plans, and that my life isn’t going anywhere, but when your future is half-way across the country for fifty percent of the year, it makes it harder to know where you’re going and what to do.”
His words made your heart flutter, and you choked back the cooing that you wanted to make, pulling him in closer to press your lips to his in a sweet kiss.
It was chaste, and delicate, and you sighed out happily against his mouth as the hand closed over your own simply tightened, lips melding in slow patterns that had your heart beating out of your chest, exploding with emotions, finally being with the man you loved once again. Dragging your hand from under his, you pushed it further around into his hair, nails scratching at his scalp, a happy sound making itself known from the back of his throat, a rumble in his chest as he tipped his head further into your hold, and you let out a breath giggle as your lips broke apart, finding him relaxing more and more into your touch with each little scrape, knowing just how to comfort him after all this time.
“Don’t worry, Dave.” He only hummed, eyes fluttering shut as a content look washed over his features, head hanging back, now longer only supported by your hand to hold it up, and his body was sagging into the chair, like the actions you were taking had been a reset button for his entire body, stress clearing away. “You’re my future too. We will have plans, when we’re ready, we don’t have to rush for anyone. It’s me and you, and we can take out time.”
“Me and you?” He repeated, words a little slurred, and he jumped at the shock of a plate clanging down, the waitress apologising as the spoon clicked on the edge of the dish, before pudding a dessert down before you as well, and he forced himself to sit back up, to crack his eyes open and let your hand slip away to take your spoon. “You promise that?”
“Of course, I do. I love you.”
He nodded his head, pecking the tip of your nose as he shook himself off slightly to try and bring some life back to his body, and pulling your chair up and under the table properly.”I love you, too.”
“Good, because that tiramisu looks really good, so I’m kinda’ hoping you’ll share.”
He grinned, eyes flicking over the dish you had yourself, considering it all, before nodding his head. “Okay, but only because your pie looks good too, so we’re splitting them both.”
“Deal.”
Poking your spoon into the dish, you dragged it towards you a little, a disbelieving scoff on his lips as he caught his spoon against the other side, stopping you from taking it any further, and stabbing the cutlery into it hard enough to chime against the counter, before taking a large mouthful of it and bringing it up to eat.
You cringed through a laugh as he chewed loudly and unattractively, his spoon battling yours each time you tried to take a bite of the dessert. “Dave!”
“Hey, I said you could have some, but you have to earn it!”
“That’s how you want to play this?” He nodded, taking another bite of his, and you took the chance, dragging your spoon into it and pulling off a piece of the creamy treat, and he was quick to use his own to scrape it back into the dish. “That's no fair!”
“All’s fair in love and war, sweetheart.”
He picked up the dropped chunk, watching as you pouted, eating it with a wide smile, and half of his tiramisu was already gone, and you gave a dramatic sigh. Instead, you pouted, deciding that if he wanted to play dirty then you would too, and you twisted away from him to face your own sweet, dragging a piece of the apple pie away from the pain crust, and lifting it up to your mouth.
He chuckled beside you, more than amused with his own antics, and you ignored him, letting out a little huff, and not responding to him when he cooed a little, and you tried some more of your pie, staring down into the dish as you pretended to be upset. “Oh, c’mon, baby. I’m only messing around with you. Here, you can have some now.”
He pushed the bowl closer to you, and you looked up at him again, pretending to study him for a moment, and he lifted up his spoon, holding it out to you with a large piece of tiramisu, the Italian delicacy calling out to you. Just as you leaned in to take it, he swerved it around, closing the mouthful between his one lips, and laughing around it as your jaw dropped in shock.
“I won’t fall for your fake sadness, I know when you’re really mad. Good try, though.”
You growled a little, biting at the inside of your cheek to contain your smile, before raising a brow, and dropping your act to deadpan at him. “Fine. War is war, don’t blame me when you regret it.”
“Sounds like a threat?”
“It is.”
It was just the two of you at the table now, the kids long since having finished their ice creams, sticky dishes and spoons left littered around the table as they’d all run off to play, and it was just the two of you left, the low lighting in the corner of the room, a smirk spread over your features as an idea came to mind.
Your hand landed on his thigh, leaning over to press a kiss to the underside of his jaw, feeling him shake a little under your hold as he laughed, bringing up the hand that was resting on the back of your chair to weave into your hair instead. His head twisted, lips brushing your ears, and hot breath washing over your neck as he curled back around you.
“Squeezing my thigh and kissing my jaw won’t work, I’m not the same shy kid I was when you first started using that trick.”
You only hummed, nipping a little at his earlobe, before lifting one leg to rest right over the top of one of his own, the blockade of your leg meaning you had enough space to slide your hand up higher. His breathing did hitch then, as your fingers pressed lightly to the crotch of his jeans, and you settled your head onto his shoulder. To anyone who may look over, it was simply a couple cuddling in the corner, young adults who’d missed each other enough to put aside the general rules of PDA for one night, and it would be okay.
Instead, you licked lightly at the base of his neck, a spot you knew made him weak, and your suspicions were confirmed when he trembled under your touch. “Who’s not playing fair now, huh?”
“It was you who made it a war, Dave.” He dropped his spoon, a loud clanging, and he was choking back a moan as you rubbed your palm down against his cock, feeling him twitch under your touch as he did, even through the layers of material. His hand came down, snatching at your wrist, and cursing under his breath as your actions refused to cease, barely suppressing a moan as he began to grow under your hand.
“Fucking hell, you’re evil.” He whispered, and you nipped lightly at that same spot again, hearing him whimper as you did, hips bucking up into your hand, fingers gripping your wrist even tighter as he tried to push you away, yet never trying to hurt you. “I give up, I give up. Fuck, if I cum in my pants at a Christmas party, you’re never driving my car again.”
“You surrender?”
Squeezing the bulge in his pants, you lifted your head, his eyes rolling back in his head as he bit down on his lower lip, turning his face towards yours and pressing your foreheads together to hide the expression on his face. “I surrender. Dessert is all yours.”
“That’s all you had to say.”
He wheezed out a relieved breath as you finally took your hand away, panting slightly as he came down, having been halfway to creaming himself at the age of twenty like some kind of horny freshman, and he looked mildly irritated when he finally managed to pull himself together. “That was low.”
You only grinned, taking his spoon and enjoying the final bite of his tiramisu, watching as his thumb came up to wipe the powdery dust it had been sprinkled with from the edge of your mouth, but a frown was still sitting on his features. “Hey, you’re the one who wouldn’t share. Besides, it wasn’t so low back in May when you stuck your hand up my skirt while we were playing pool at the bar, huh?”
His eyes flashed over for a second, remembering the moment clearly. He’d been losing, the two of you having snuck into one of the bars on campus and gotten a little tipsy, and after boasting just how good he was at the game, to be losing to you in his hazy state, and as you’d leaned over the table, he’d stood behind you, fingers pinching your clit roughly through your panties and making you fall forwards onto the table, a cry on your lips as you lost the game. It had led to some pretty amazing sex when you’d made it back to his flat, though.
“Besides, I’ll make it up to you.”
“You better.” He mumbled, watching you switch between dishes once his was empty, his jaw hanging open as he waited for you to serve him up a piece of the apple pie. His hand came down to rest on your thigh, holding you close to him as the two of you happily shared out the foods, before falling into comfortable silence.
It was whispers about anything and everything you could think of, nothing too deep, simply making passing comments about what you’d been up to, small talk that would usually come along via your video call dates. His sister had come and gone, crawling up into your lap to sit with you for a while, more than happy to fill the silence as you asked her about what she and the other kids were up to, before she was running away again to chat with her friends.
The conversation went on, chatter about college, updates on all the extra work you’d been doing that had prevented either of you from being able to make any trips in the last few months, straining the long-distance relationship that you were already sharing. First-year had breezed by, being easy enough that since last Christmas, the two of you had made plenty of time to visit one another, meeting up halfway between or making the full trip for the weekend, but second-year had come down hard, and had been kicking your asses.
You moved yourself, his arm settling behind your chair so that your head could fall to his shoulder, one arm slung over his waist, and tiredness began to creep in. You could suppress it for a while at first, holding in your yawns, and being able to follow the stories he was spinning for you, updating you on everything that his friends - both college and at home - had been up to, soft laughs on your lips with each adventurous tale he shared.
Eventually, though, he had caught on, going quiet as he let you fall into a half daze, the hand behind your body moving to stroke over your shoulder, comforting and warm as he just held you there.
“You falling asleep on me, sweetheart?”
“No, no. I’m totally awake. I’m here to spend time with you.” Your words were a little mumbled from sleep.
“Yeah, sure you are.” He teased, jousting you on his shoulder, and you groaned, but sat up, shaking your head to clear it before blinking your eyes into the lights again, trying to readjust.
“Okay, maybe I’m a little tired.” He only nodded his head, watching as you stood up on shaky legs, and following behind you. “My parents are going to be here all night. I can just tell.” You glanced over at them, finding them sitting around one of the tables, chatting away happily with no signs of stopping any time soon, and Dave slipped an arm around you, directing you over to where his mother was and showing you that he was in the exact same boat. “Come get my coat with me?”
He nodded, following after you, and lifting it down to help you pull it up your arms, booking yourself a cab as he tied your scarf around your neck for you, making sure you were nice and cosy.
Another yawn was pulling at your lips, and the second it was finished, he was offering you a soft kiss, one that you barely had the energy to return as you began to slip closer to just passing out in your exhaustion. Time zones were a real bitch, you were getting the short end of the stick with jetlag, but it was all worth it.
“You know, I could come with you? We could stay at my place, tonight?”
“I should probably stay in my own bed for the first night back, don’t you think?”
The cold was enough to make you gasp loudly as you stepped into the night air, suddenly feeling a lot more awake than you had a moment ago as your breath clouded in the air, making you shiver, sticking your hands into your coat pockets as you moved down to the curb to wait for your taxi to arrive. Seeing headlights coming around the end of the road, you could barely make it out, but suspected it to be your vehicle, and you rocked up onto the tips of your toes to steal another kiss from him, his lips working against your own just as eagerly. Licking along his lower lip, he parted them for you with a soft moan, tongues tangling together, his hands finding your waist and pulling your body flush up to his own, keeping you close.
It was a kiss that was long overdue, finally getting a real moment alone together, nobody around, no crowds, just the two of you for the first time in months, and you were looking forwards to much more time with him like this over the holidays, and beyond it. One of the hands on your waist was now sliding up, tangling into your hair as his head tipped to the side, stealing deeper access to your mouth, before pulling away for breath only a moment later.
“Are you sure you don’t want to stay at my place?”
“Tempting. Very tempting.” You mumbled, letting him lean in for further kisses as he laughed softly, the innuendo in his words not being missed but slipping way as irrelevant, and the squealing of tires pulling up only a few metres away told you that your assumptions had been correct, your taxi waiting patiently, phone buzzing in your pocket to confirm it.
“I could make you breakfast if you did.”
“How about you take me out for breakfast on Boxing Day morning? I’ll finish my unpacking and we’ll go for an early morning date.” He sighed, nodding his head and walking over to the car with you, reaching down to open the door.
“Fine, Boxing Day breakfast date it is. But only if you promise that it’s a lunch date and dinner date, too. I want you for the whole day.” He pulled it open, letting you step down from the sidewalk and settle into the seat, closing it and leaning against the open window as you smiled up at him.
“All-day date, you got it.”
“Call me tomorrow?” He questioned, not wanting to hold you up much longer as the driver waited, politely turning up the radio a little as the glass stayed closed, giving you both privacy.
“Of course, I have to wish my man a Happy Christmas, right?”
“It’s much happier now you’re home.” He leaned in, pecking your lips one final time, before stepping away from the car, and sticking his hands into his pockets, the car revving to life a little. “I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”
You nodded, blowing him a kiss and rolling the window back up, the car setting off on its journey.
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This wasn’t like last year, where Dave had been waiting in unknowing anxiety as to whether he was even going to see you again. This year, he was filled with confidence, enjoying the part around himself instead of sulking in a corner, because this year, he was happy. You’d texted him a half-hour ago to tell him you were almost ready, and that you’d be on your way over soon, and he was anticipating the arrival of his girlfriend with joy.
He’d allowed his mother to introduce him to as many people as she wanted to, mingling and socialising as she willed him to, until finally, he’d been left along in peace to get a drink. He was now standing still staring down at his phone as he lurked near the dining table, the chairs dragged away into the living room and the wood pushed up to the wall, laid out with food and snacks, and just waiting for you.
Wrapping your arms around his waist, you felt him jump, before your hands were connecting over his middle and he was dropping a hand down to cover yours. His other shifted around between you, tucking his phone into his pocket, before turning in your arms to take you in. Before he did, he leaned down, pressing a careful kiss to your lips as not to smudge the makeup you had done, a fresh layer of lipstick sitting on pouted lips, and he hummed happily as you squeezed yourself in a little closer to him.
“Missed you.”
His words were mumbled against your lips, and you grinned, trying to kiss him through it and whining when he pulled back, but shaking his head, feeling mischief coarse through your veins. “You saw me yesterday. And the day before that, and before that, pretty much all week. Aren’t you sick of me yet?”
“I’m never going to get sick of you, baby.” His hands found your cheeks, tipping you back a little bit as your smiles were pressed together, ruining what would have been a romantic kiss, but you couldn’t contain your joy, cheeks aching as you tried to straighten it. “You look pretty.”
His hands slipped down to find yours, holding you out before him and dropping one, lifting the other to twirl you around in the golden wrap dress that you were wearing, a low whistle on his lips, and he tugged a little at the belt around your waist, raising his brows as the material gaped open a little with your movements, exposing your thigh to him as the hem of the dress at around the middle of your calves.
“This is new.”
“I bought something special for the night, I wanted to feel good.” He grinned, lifting your hand up to sit on his shoulder, before placing both of his own on your waist, nibbling on his lip as he looked at you. “You scrub up pretty damn good yourself, Davie. All black suit, looking hot.”
He smirked, shrugging his shoulders and pulling you back in for another kiss, groaning as the song in the room changed. Your lips were just brushing his, before his mother was darting straight through the room, calling his name loudly, and he sighed, pulling back from you to look up and find his mother, who was trying to shoulder her way through the crowds towards him.
“This is your song, Dave!”
“It’s not my song, this is just a song you play every year and make me dance to because I danced to it once in a middle school play.” His mother took no notice, rolling her eyes and grabbing onto his arm, trying to drag him away. He gripped onto your hand, forcing you to follow him along, until you could see Stella, tearing up the dance floor with the sugar rush she was currently holding, an upbeat song playing over the speakers and vibrating through the floors.
The part was reaching its full mass, the place absolutely teeming with people, far more than should be able to fit into a house like this, even if the gardens were open too, despite the cold weather, and yet there was still a spot cleared on the dance floor for him. His mother had found a dance partner, Stella was dancing with two of her friends in a crazy trio, and Dave was holding his hand out to you, wiggling his brows as the song progressed on. He didn’t give you a chance to mull it over, taking your hand and pulling you into him, your chest crashing into his, before he was positioning you to be able to dance.
“This is the worst song in the world.” You teased, bodies around you moving just as fervently, and he nodded his head, before the lyrics were belting out of him, shouted at the top of his lungs, and you were giggling as he twirled you around. “I am not dancing to this.”
“You have to!” He insisted, still trying to get you to move with him, one arm wrapping around your waist as the other connected with your own, holding it up in a waltz style pose, despite the fact that you’d never be able to waltz to this kind of pop.
“Says who?” Your laughter broke out again as he dipped you backwards, spinning you around, your bodies bouncing a little as you moved to the beat, and you couldn't deny that it was catchy, your feet beginning to move along with his, and the smile on his face only widened as you did.
“Says the laws of being my girlfriend. You have to dance with me, always, even if you think I’m embarrassing you.”
He let out a loud cheer, just to draw attention to you both again, but the smile on his face made it worth it all as you danced with him again. Your inhibitions were slipping away, heart beating rapidly in your chest and laughs drowned over the sounds of the music as you twirled around the room, almost bumping into other people on the dance floor as they joined in. The heat was building, your cheeks flushing as his skin shone with a thin layer of sweat, the song seeming to go on forever, and yet, you couldn't find it within yourself to care, because the moment felt perfect.
When the music finally ceased, you slumped against him, letting him catch you as the two of you panted, a few stray hairs sticking to your forehead for the exertion of the activity, and he laughed breathlessly, holding you up as the funky hip hop tunes continued on, the more tame songs would come along later in the night when only the adults were left, the kids still making the most of the evening.
Looping your arms around his neck, he smirked, hands finding your waist, as the two of you rocked slowly to the upbeat song that was playing, a smile finding your lips when his forehead came down to rest against your own. “So, later on, will you save me a real dance? When the slow songs are playing?”
“Who says I slow dance?”
“The laws of being my boyfriend.” He chuckled at your use of his words against him, before he was dipping down to press a kiss to your lips, sighs sounding from both of you at the chaste connection. “You’ll have to get used to slow dancing with me, Davie. As you said, all our friends are starting to grow up, getting engaged and throwing parties, and I’m going to want to slow dance.”
He nodded his head, spinning you out form his body and twirling you around, before he was bringing you back into his body, a smirk on his lips and mischief flashing across his eyes. “Who says you’re my date?”
“Oh, you got someone else?” You took the bait, gasping falsely as he grinned wider, a cocky look on his face as he held you once again, swaying you in his arms before dipping you backwards, lifting your thigh onto his hip for only moment, and when he pulled you back up, you were even closer than before.
“You know you’re my one and only, baby.”
You leaned up, mouths brushing together again. “Mhm, I better be.”
He closed the gap, teeth scraping over your lower lip at a more passionate connection, sucking on your lower lip slightly, enough to make you moan out a little under your breath,  and his hands tightened on your body. The dancing you were enjoying had become more like swaying, no longer focused on the movements of your feet or the tune of the music, but just on one another.
Your hand came up to tangle in his hair, nails scraping over his scalp lightly as his fingertips dug into your waist, all but burning through the material of your dress, making you feel like flames were consuming you from the inside out. You’d never felt this way with a guy before, Dave mad you feel cherished and loved, everything you always wanted, without ever having to ask, he was perfect for you. He accepted every flaw and rumple, and he never made you feel anything less than beautiful.
You wanted to live in this moment with him forever.
It was short-lived, unsurprisingly, before the two of you were being pulled apart once again to mingle, your mother wanting to introduce you to people and show you off, telling them all about your big university plans, and Dave being forced to help his mother host, the hours of the night passing by.
You were moved from group to group, the same questions being asked every single time, repeating the answers like a script you’d learned as you recited facts about your course, and told them what you liked, and what you thought would be improved on. You were asked about your college experience and the campus, and everything that the middle generation could possibly think of. You were sick of college, you were sick of being asked about how hard it was to be away from your family and friends, or whether it was liberating and gave you your freedom. You didn’t want anything but to enjoy being home, to hear about what you’d missed out in, instead of being interrogated about your life.
You managed to escape from the conversations, hiding away in the corner and letting out a sigh, eyes closing for a second as you tried to steal a moment to yourself, your phone buzzing in your bra from where you had stored it, no pockets or a bag, and just as you reached for it, there was a voice calling your name once again, and you wanted to bite down on the inside of your cheek just to stop a scream of frustration from leaving you.
A blonde head of hair was bobbing towards you, leaving the group within which her date was wowing a collection of the locals with his information on music and his up and coming cat-food album. Aubrey Miller, somebody you had formed a begrudging allegiance with over this last year, the girl constantly messaging you on Facebook, commenting on your Instagram posts and retweeting you, and so you’d simply accepted that she was going to be a part of your life. Besides, you never wanted to feel like the jealous ex, because you weren’t and you knew Dave loved you, but sometimes it irked you how she always seemed to be around at the most inconvenient of times.
Your phone buzzed again, but she was taking both of your hands in hers, squeezing tightly and laughing as though something had been said. “It’s been so long since I last saw you!”
“Yep, that’s right.” You managed to muster a somewhat enthusiastic tone, unsure of how you did it, but she seemed to breeze on over it, charging straight into her next topic. “How is life at college? It’s so far away!”
“Can we talk about something other than college? I’ve been talking about it all evening.”
She paused, chuckling for a second, before nodding her head. “Sure, I haven’t had a chance to talk to you about my new place yet! I’m having a house warming party, and I wanted to invite you. Dave and his family will be there, of course.” You ground your teeth a little, smiling through it as she spoke on behalf of your boyfriend, but knowing that deep down you were just a little frazzled because of the night.
“Sounds fun, I’ll be there.”
“Great, it’s in just a few days, I can send you the details!” You only nodded and smiled, glancing around the room to try and catch sight of your lover, but he was nowhere to be seen. “Besides, it’ll be nice for you and Dave to have some more quality couple time together, I know how lonely he’s been feeling lately.”
A lump formed in your throat, your eyes snapping back to her own as your brows furrowed, narrowing a little as you looked at her. “Excuse me?”
“Oh, gosh, no.” Her eyes widened, shaking her head as she realised how her words had come out. “I know what that came out as, but I didn’t mean it like that. I just meant that I hear some things, and he said some stuff earlier tonight.”
“Like what?” You mumbled, arms crossing over your chest as you stared at her, insecurities beginning to creep in.
“Well, I’m the only one still around here, so I talk to the parents a lot. His mom is really proud of him, and of you. She loves you, she talks about you both every book club, but Dave just misses you a lot. He tells her, she spills it to us, that's all. She likes me, but only as a friend. She never liked me the way she likes you, like you’re her own daughter.” You smiled a little at that, warmth blossoming in your chest at the idea of being welcomed so wholly into his family. “I was talking to him earlier tonight, just before you arrived, his mom was grilling him about moving out and making moves, plans for his life, y’know?”
“Yeah, he told me about that.”
“Well, did he tell you the part where he just felt alone, because he never got to see you? I like you, I admire you, I really do, but Dave is my friend. I’m not still in love with him, I’m in love with Ronnie, but him and I went through a hard time and Dave was there for me during that time. I want to be there for him, too.” You were suspicious once again, somehow feeling like you weren’t going to like what was about to come from her. “It’s Christmas, and you’re here now, so clearly we’re on the same page, but I told him that I thought you should be here, because it’s the holidays. I wasn’t trying to start anything, I was just giving him the same real talk that he gave me when I couldn’t see the truth about Ronnie.”
“The truth? Are you trying to tell me that you told Dave you didn’t think I was good enough for him?”
“No, of course not! I just told him that I thought he should be thinking about why you couldn't be here, and whether you were growing too busy for him, and he should prepare himself before any more hurt came.” Your jaw clenched, and she cursed under her breath, seeming to realise that she still wasn’t getting her words right. “I’m messing this all up.”
“You think?”
She pursed her lips at your hissed out words, and you stiffened as you felt arms sliding around your waist, a chin hooking over your shoulder, and she excused herself, pointing over her shoulder, before disappearing into the crowds, and you twisted around in the arms of the man who was holding you. “You haven’t been replying to my texts.”
“You feel alone?”
His face dropped, the smile disappearing, and eyes widening as he looked at you. “What?”
“You confessed to Aubrey and not me?” He looked panicked, freezing up before you, and you placed your hands on his cheeks, trying to reassure him a little, not wanting him to bolt or get overly anxious. “You should tell me these things. I’m your girlfriend, if we’re having issues, I want to know about it.”
He held onto your hand, bringing your knuckles to his mouth, pressing kisses along them as he sighed. “We don’t have any issues at all, sweetheart. It’s just me being insecure and needy, that’s why I didn’t tell you. I just miss you a lot, but I know you’re busy.”
“I would make more time for you, though, if I knew you needed me.”
“Yeah, but then you’d be putting all your work aside, and you’d get more stressed than you already are, and I don’t want that.” Your heart warmed, watching him put your needs before his own, and you leaned up enough to bump your noses together. “I’m sorry, I just wish we had some more time together.”
“I know, but we will, okay? I promise, the future holds a lot of quality time for me and you.”
“It does?”
There was a hopeful tone to his voice that made your lower lip tremble a little, pressing a series of kisses to his lips that were for his assurance as well as your own, and he sighed happily at knowing you weren’t angry with him, kissing you back until you pulled away. “Wanna’ find a quieter? We can have some quality time.”
“Yeah?” He wiggled his brows a little, and you grinned, already knowing exactly where his mind had gone. “It’s loud in here. I keep getting pulled away to mingle. You know what I really want?”
“What do you want, honey?” You reached up, fingers smoothing through his hair, weaving through the strands as you tried to restyle the hair atop his head that was starting to flop back down into his forehead as the gel wore off.
“I just want to makeout with my girlfriend on New Year's Eve, like I should be able to. I’m young and horny, and my girl is hot, I don’t want to spend it away from her and socialising.” He huffed out the words, and you tried to cover up your laugh, raising your brows. “Why are you laughing at me?”
“Because I’m remembering how we missed last year’s countdown, and your mom was furious about it, and she didn’t even know what we’d really done.” His lips parted a little as he remembered it, eyes glazing over as he went back to that moment, and his lips were beginning to curl up at the edges, pulling your body in a little closer to his own. “Stop that, I know where your mind is going.”
“You brought it up!”
“To prove to you that we have to stay here!” You laughed, and his hands ran a little further down your sides, pushing you closer to the wall, and your breathing hitched in your throat as his grip became tighter, body pressing into you as you were pushed up into the surface. “Dave..”
“We could be quick, back in time for the countdown. Nobody has to know.”
You shook your head, resistance beginning to fail as his nose nuzzled at the underside of your jaw, lips dragging over your skin teasingly, before he was pressing a soft kiss to the spot just below your ear that made you shake in his hold, your body betraying you as a tremor wracked along your body, making you arch up into him a little further.
“C’mon, kitten. You look so good tonight, and now you got me thinking about sex. What do you expect from me, when you’re here looking this good, and you’re all mine, huh?”
“You’re such a pain in my ass.” You muttered, already preparing to cave in to his pleadings, before he was pinching at your ass roughly through your dress, snickering at the yelp you let out as he did, and he palmed roughly at the patch instead. As you released a little moan, his mouth closed over yours to silence you, a hot kiss as his tongue plunged into your mouth, tangling with your own without even a second’s hesitation.
You were putty in his hands, and you already know it. Clearly, he did too, because his hips were pushing into yours as he held you up to the wall, risking it all as people continued to wander around you, and it only took one o the more conservative neighbours or one of your parents to see for it all to be over, the two of you to be chastised like children again, taking you back to your youth, but you had absolutely no reservations when it came to him.
As you finally pulled back for breath, feeling his lips trace along your jaw, you nodded your head, giving in and telling him what he wanted to hear. “Okay, let’s go.”
He snapped up, lips a little swollen and eyes glossy, a look on his face that made your thighs clamp together and rub with need, and his gaze flickered down as he caught onto the action. Taking your hand in his, he dragged you away, glancing back at you over his shoulder as he heard you giggle, before making his way to the staircase. He went ahead of you, your feet barely having touched halfway up the set, before your eyes were closing in on the hoards of people upstairs, too.
It was twice as busy as it had been last year, the two of you having been able to sneak away to the empty upstairs, but even the corridors outside of his bedroom were busy, and as you finally pushed through the people to open the door, finding his bed piled high with coats, bags and purses.
“Of course.” He mumbled, practically hearing his mother’s voice yelling at him again for disappearing, a little task clearly done on purpose to ensure the two of you had nowhere to sneak off to this time, but he wasn’t giving up so easily. “Basement?”
You nodded, falling into step beside him, and chasing after him, adrenaline and excitement racing through your veins. There was always the risk of getting caught, there was last time too, but this was something else. Last time, you didn’t know what would come of it, it could've been a one-time thing, and so this one was all new kinds of thrilling. A year into your relationship, and you were making up for all the time that you had lost, searching for new excitement as you celebrated the time that had passed together.
As your fingers hooked onto the door to the stairs leading down, the light was already on, your stomach sinking, and the further down you went, the more kids you already found hanging out down there, a game of twister in play as thirteen year old girls all squealed and giggled, eyes wide as they stared at you while trying to balance.
You both mumbled your apologies for interrupting, backing your way out, and there was a pout on his lips as you returned to the main party. Leaning up, your body slumped into his, large hands smoothing over your back, before you were teasing the lobe of his ear with your teeth, a shudder rolling over his body as you did. “Don’t you have a treehouse?”
“Only if I can climb up the ladder behind you.”
“You’re going to get to see what’s up my skirt anyway.” You scoffed, and he only winked, the two of you stumbling out into the back garden dirty little jokes and exchanges as you poured out of the back door. There were considerably fewer people milling around the garden, the cooler temperatures making people prefer the indoors, and as you approached the treehouse, a muffled set of giggles caught your attention from the top of the ladder as you stood at the bottom.
An incredulous look flashed over your features at the idea that someone might have actually already beat you to that spot, and Dave groaned in frustration, kicking at the wood before him, and the ladder trampled a little from the force. “You have got to be fucking kidding me!”
He turned to look at you, frustration flicking across his face as disappointment set in, your shoulders rising and falling in a shrug, not sure what else to say, and the two of you began to trudge back inside. The backdoor way was blocked as you approached it, Dave’s hands clenching by his sides as he navigated you around to the side of the house, using the spare key to open the garage door, and knowing that there was a lock to the main kitchen from inside of it.
Sealing it up behind yourselves and replacing the hidden key, he navigated himself between his car and his mom’s, parked at alternating angles toward the kitchen, and an idea flashed through your mind.
“Dave!”
“Yeah?” His hand was sitting on the handle to the kitchen, ready to flick the lock on it open, light spilling out from the crack under the door.
“We’re alone.” He paused, and your arms motioned out around yourself, the chill of the room quickly making your hands clamp back up at your sides, and he seemed excited for just a second, before shivering himself.
“It’s freezing, and there’s nowhere to lay down.”
“Come over here and warm me up, then.” You smirked, leaning against the edge of his car next to the front, and his face lit up, hopping back down the steps towards you. Hands hooked under your thighs, lifting you into his arms for just a second, before the cold metal of the car’s hood was pressing into you, making you gasp at the chill, his body taking place between your parted thighs.
It all became irrelevant, though, when his mouth collided with yours, slamming together with heated intensity, and all of that burning passion came rushing back. Hands were burning on your thighs, bringing your legs around to wrap at his waist, the material of your dress falling aside as the wrapped material fell open, rough palms dragging over the smooth skin.
One hand was sitting on his face, feeling his jaw moved under your own, sharp and smooth from where he’d freshly shaven, rough kisses making your lips sting as you pressed back with an equal kind of love, your other hands tingling in his hair. Your lungs were burning for oxygen, your head spinning the longer you prolonged the inevitable. Finally pulling back for breath, you dragged your mouth along his jaw, feeling the moan that rumbled up in his throat as you licked your way along the column, his pulse pounding beneath the skin as you kissed across that same spot.
He tipped his head back, letting you work longer, and when your lips came to meet the collar of the same dress shirt he wore, your hands slipped down to his shoulders, to his chest, nails scratching at the muscles underneath loft and he puffed up into your hold, before your fingers were finding the buttons.
“I love it when you wear smart shirts.” You mumbled, each space of skin exposed as you undid his shirt being pressed with a kiss from your lips, faint marks of your lipstick being left over his skin the lower you went, until you were untucking it from the belt around his waist, and leaving it to hand open. Goosebumps travelled over his skin when your nails scraped across the lightly defined muscles of his abs, red marks being left in your traces as you did, your fingers hooking into the belt loops of his jeans. “God, you’re so fucking hot.”
“I was just thinking the same thing about you.” He mumbled, fingers playing with the belt around your waist, the sequinned design making it harder for him to find the catch, but when it fell loose, he was quick to let it drop away to the floor, discarded as you pulled his belt free from his jeans. “You’re telling me that all that’s holding this whole dress shut is two buttons?”
His eyes were wide, nimble fingers undoing the button on the outside, and pushed the base of the dress open a little more, a smirk forming on his lips, before looking up to catch your eyes.
“Wearing my favourite panties, too, huh?”
“Not the matching bra, though.” Your words were whispered, a hoarse voice, and he licked over dried lips, before popping the final button and letting the material expose you to him fully. He hummed happily, two hands smoothing across your stomach, pushing you down until the cold metal of the car until you were laying back across it, large palms cupping at your tits and squeezing roughly.
You couldn't help the way you pushed up into his hands, a loud moan falling from you, and he shushed you quietly, bending at the waist to press a wet kiss to the spot just under your ribs, licking at the spot teasingly as he worked his way down and around your navel. “Keep quiet, baby, we don’t want anyone to come in here and see you with your legs wrapped around my head, do we?”
A single finger ran under the crotch of your panties, knuckle brushing over your clit, and you bit down on your lip to contain the whimper that such a feeling aroused within you, your hips bucking against his hand. He pulled back, snapping the edge of the lace garment against your folds, chuckling at the gasp you made when he did, before he was pushing them to the side. Holding them or of the way, dragging a finger across your slit, a happy sound produced from him as slick coated the tip of the digit, swirling with a filthy sound bouncing around the two of you as he did, sinking a single finger into your walls.
“So wet for me. I love getting this reaction out of you. What got you all worked up tonight, hm?” He was sinking further down, nipping along the indies of your trembling thighs, and despite the cold metal you were laying along, you were already burning up from the inside out, eagerly awaiting the moment in which his mouth would reach the place that you wanted it the most. “Was it the dancing? Or the outfit? Tell me what made you like this.”
He pumped the finger slowly, and your hands formed fists, nails digging into your skin as you found your first orgasm beginning to build rapidly within your stomach, guts winding up into a tightening coil and you tried to catch your breath just to be able to reply. “You did.”
“Mhm, I know that, but what specifically?” He pushed, dragging his tongue slowly over your centre, and you let out a loud cry, cutting it off halfway through by covering your mouth with your hand, eyes rolling back in your head as the pad of his tongue dragged slowly across your clit, electricity sparking across your body. “You can have what you want as soon as you use your words, kitten.”
“You did! Just you, nothing special. I just love you, you drive me crazy.” Your words were slurred and rushed out, but he paused for a second, his finger no longer pumping but instead curling within you, pad searching along your walls until he found the spot he was looking for, your entire body jerking at the stimulation with you.
“Yeah?”
“Yes, Dave, please! You know how I feel about you, stop teasing me now.” He nodded, pressing down once more on the patch within you that made you cry out, before he was pulling back, sinking to his knees entirely and giving you exactly what you wanted. A hot and wet mouth closed over your folds, tongue parting them and licking at everything that had already built up, teasing around your entrance as he slurped up what you had to give. Teeth dragged across your clit, enough of a sting to make you cry out into the cover of your hand, your eyes rolling in your head hips bucking up into his face, and he was more than happy to allow it.
Easing your thighs up onto his shoulders so he could move deeper, your legs clamping around his head with every motion he made, every shake of his head as he worked at your centre, lips sealing around the throbbing button nestled between your thighs to focus on the pleasure it brought you. Dave was skilled with his mouth, he’d known what he was doing since the very first time he’d gone down on you, but basic skills had become honed to your body, being able to read you, everything he did bringing you closer and closer to melting bliss.
Tears lined your eyes, squeezing shut to contain them as the simulations all became too much, and your other hand came down to thread into his hair, pulling roughly, your words muffled by the hand covering your mouth, and it became your only way of communicating with him. Fingertips were digging into the muscle of your thighs, holding you still as he dove into you, again and again, tongue lapping at every drop that came from you.
His tongue was plunging in and out of you, fucking you against the wet article as your keened up and into his hold, writhing against the hood of the car, speech becoming completely incomprehensible. Dave was by no means boring in bed, but there was always something exciting about the idea of fucking right when there was someone on the other side of a door, and right now there was a wheel party that might hear you scream Dave’s name, because as his tongue traced at your walls, lips and teeth teasing over your clit, alternating between where he wanted to please you the most, your arm was growing heavier and heavier, your climax teetering on the edge.
He knew it too, reading you like a book, pulling away and prying your legs from around his head before he was grabbing a hold of you and pulling you up to stand. Your legs buckled underneath you, almost falling away to the floor if it wasn't for his hands supporting you, a dark chuckle was sounding in your ear, a wet kiss placed to your cheek, before he was turning you around. Your hands pressed to the car, using it for support as he pressed up behind you, fingers dipping down and under the waistband of your panties.
He wasted no time, two fingers plunging into your already stretched out core, and just as a loud cry of his name left you, his other hand was skating up, over your throat, making your breathing hitch, before he was tipping your head back onto his shoulder. A thumb slipped into your mouth, and you sucked onto it, using the digits to muffle yourself as two fingers began to slam in and out of you.
It was oddly reminiscent, the amusement of the thought flashing across your mind for a split second, about just how comparative this was to New Years last year. Dave standing behind you, hand in your panties and cock straining into your ass as he prepared to fuck you senseless, except this time it wasn’t just lust, but love too.
As your peak came crashing over you, your eyes were rolling back in your head, shaking in his arms as he held you tightly, your underwear becoming far too uncomfortable as your juices slicked up his fingers, ruining the material as he kept going to rid you through it, the pads of his fingers brushing against your sensitive walls, the heel of his hand brushing over the swollen bud that fireworks explode within you.
When you finally couldn't take it anymore, he let you go, slumping down in an undignified manner across the hood of the car. Your dress was half hanging off of you, and you shucked the material down your arms and to the floor, feeling like you were burning alive in it now, skin covered with a thin layer of sweat from the heat building between you both, and your thighs were still twitching a little.
A hand came down roughly on your ass, and you jerked at the feeling, hissing out a curse to your boyfriend, and he didn’t reply, a more than proud and cocky look on his face as he palmed at the stinging skin.  
“We have two options.” He knelt down, fingers hooking into your panties, pulling them roughly down your thighs, until you could step out of them, and he pressed kisses all the way back up along your skin, until he was standing again. “Option one, I can fuck you over the hood, but you gotta’ keep quiet.” He pinched at your ass cheek, the one he’d laid a spank to, and you moaned, pushing back into his touch.
“And the other option?”
“Option two, you can ride me in the front seat, and scream as loud as you want.” You whimpered, managing to find enough strength to turn around to face him, fingers hooking into his belt loops and stand up a little further.
“I like option two.” You whispered your response against his mouth, lips brushing together, and he could only nod, tongue flicking out to lick at your mouth a little, spreading the taste of you to your own lips until it was smeared there. He reached behind you, pressing up to you until you fell backwards, and he opened the door, stepping away from you with a wide smirk and half-lidded eyes.
Tugging open the front of his jeans, the zipper grated angrily as it came undone, and he palmed at himself through the thick material, thumbs hooking into the waistband to push both the denim and the cotton of his underwear beneath it down, a dripping and flushed red cock springing up, slapping against his stomach and leaking with shining precum, bobbing in the cool air, a sight that made you legs clench together tightly.
Collapsing down into the passenger seat, he patted at his thighs, tempting you forwards while rummaging through the dash box, finding one of the emergency condoms that the two of you kept hidden in his car at all times, and tearing the little packet open as you settled across his lap, cramped into the chair. As he rolled the rubber along his length, pumping himself slowly, and you cranked back the lever on the seat to push it backwards.
As he laid down you were granted more pace, hair falling around the pair of you like curtains, hiding the meshing of your lips as your hands found a home on either side of his shoulders to support the weight of you above him. His hands were on your hips as you sank down, rolling yourself along his length, the head of his cock dragging through your folds and pushing with a delicious friction against your button every single time.
Finally, when the tension became too much, he shifted, hips bucking up and into you, the head of his cock sinking within your walls, and he reached one hand out to find the car door, pulling on it and slamming it shut, before bucking his hips up the rest of the way inside of you. Your arms trembled, almost dropping you down onto him as the pressure of his cock within you stretched you to your limits, filling you up perfectly just as he did every single time, his name spilling from you in a drawn-out whine as he gave you a moment to adjust.
“That’s right, baby, call my name. Tell the world who makes you feel this good.”
“Dave!” He leaned in, sitting you up a little in his lap and helping you start to make rhythms with your hips, lips closing around one perky nipple. Your fingernails were dragging marks into the pale flesh of his shoulders as you held on for dear life, his mouth working over your chest with the same vigour and determined enthusiasm that he’d used to assault your core. “Fuck, Dave!”
The head of his cock was pressing up to that spot within you that made everything go fuzzy, the world melting away until it was just the two of you left. As you grew more in your confidence, the simple circling and rocking of your hips became more, you became bold enough to lift yourself up, slamming yourself back down onto him, and he switched to your other breast, equal treatment being shared across your body.
“Oh, my God. You’re so fucking good..” Your words were whined out, and you couldn't wait for the morning, when you’d wake up with that ache between your legs, body littered with fading bites and bruises made out of love, and he was beginning to thrust his hips up a little into you. For every movement that he made to meet you, another fizz of electricity and excitement raced through your veins, another moment here your entire body lit up with sunshine and fireworks just for him, because he took you to heights of pleasure that you’d never before experienced.
“Louder, kitten. Scream louder for me, like I know you can.”
He licked over the pad of his thumb, slipping the hand between your bodies, and pressing down roughly on the already overstimulated bud that was throbbing and desperate for attention with every brush across the hair-smattered skin at the base of his cock. “Dave!”
“Louder!”
Two fingers pinched at your clit, and your head was thrown back, eyes welling with tears at the joy of pain that made you unravel once again, nails ripping marks into his skin as you quivered on top of him, his name leaving your lips in a loud scream like a mantra. The windows were fogging up, the heat becoming unbearable around you both, and yet it still felt perfect, the two of you boiling in hell as you roasted within the weight of your sins; filthy and reckless, utterly debaucherous as you stole yet another chink of one another’s innocence with each dirty act.
You couldn't help it, the need that washed over you, the easy way that every time you were with him felt addictive never wanting to pull away, no matter how spent you became, because chasing a high with home was just too good to pass up on.
Your forehead pressed to his, skin slick and sliding together with sweat, and you slammed yourself back onto him, riding him for everything that you were worth, and from the way he was beginning to shake and quiver underneath you, you could tell that he was nearing a peak that would make his eyes roll back in his head the same way yours did.
“Always so damn tight, so good for me. Perfect, baby, all mine.” He was babbling, the same way he always did when he was nearing his climax, and your walls were fluttering around him, never once taking a break, chasing up both of you final crashing downs. You felt like you’d been electrified, and he planted his feet on the floor, arms circling your waist to pull you down until your legs were folded against the chair, chests pressed together, and he could buck up without restraint into you.
You were boneless, feeling like you’d become nothing but jelly, your throat raw as you cried out his name, eyes crossing at the feeling of how deep he could reach within you, and all that you could hear was the sounds he made, low growls and grunts, cracking voice as he moaned your name and a slew of praises, and your heart beating in your ears.
Your blood was rushing, heart threatening to explode entirely for you both, racing and banging against your ribs.
“Don’t stop, fuck, don’t stop.” You whispered, unable to muster up anything else, and as you came undone for the final time, the clenching of your walls dragged him along with you. He bit down on your shoulder as he came, only dragging out the feelings you were experiencing, and you felt as though you’d blacked out for a moment as your vision spotted, everything within you going numb, except for all the places where you were joined to him, hands on your waist and cock buried inside of you.
“Yes, kitten, fucking hell!”
“I know!” You squeaked, the aftermath of your orgasm making you twitch and clench around him, and he groaned, squirming at the overstimulation and lifting you off of him, pacing you down into the driver’s seat.
The windows were fogged up, marks streaked across the glass as you wiped them clear, and you reached across, opening one of the doors and sighing happily at the cool breeze that swept across your body. There was a chafing sting along the backs of your thighs from the denim that was still bunched tightly around his upper legs, and he cringed as he peeled back the condom that was still wrapped around his softening cock.
You tried to move, tingling sensations spreading the whole length to the tips of your fingers and toes as you tried to wiggle some kind of feeling back into them, sitting up a little as you made attempts to regain control of your body, and your elbow recessed into the horn, a scratch sounding from you as it sounded out loudly. Your boyfriend jumped too, loud barks of laughter leaving him as you did, and you almost joined him, before panic was washing over you both, heads snapping over to the garage door that connected to the kitchen, fear making your blood turn to icy cement in your veins.
When nobody came through, he turned to shoot out a mock glare, slapping at your thigh lightly. Lifting his hips up awkwardly, he managed to tug his jeans back up, searching around for his shirt and finding it discarded on the floor, unaware of when he’d even taken it off, but finding it messed up alongside the various garments that you had been wearing too.
“Think we should go back?”
“Probably.” He sighed, leaning over the centre console for a kiss, lips puckered and a hand landing on your cheek to pull your mouth down to his, delicate and sweet as he made the most of the final moments.
When you felt like you might be able to stand up without falling, you removed yourself from the car, the temperatures having dropped as you came down, and the chill of the crisp December air was making goosebumps rise through your skin. He was messing with his belt when you finally had your panties back on, your dress on your arms but hanging open, the same way his shirt was, and he closed up the car doors, chuckling at the way you wobbled as you buttoned your dress back up.
His hands found your hips, mouth coming back to claim your own, smeared lipstick making his pale skin stand out even more, and you giggling against his mouth, the rubbing of his thumbs through your dress was soothing and relaxing, bringing you back down to earth from the cloud nine that he’d taken you to, and you did up the buttons along the front of his shirt, trying to get them right without looking, but in your haze, the task was too hard, and you dragged your lips from his kiss to be able to check the task.
He smoothed down your hair for you, grinning at the messed up state that it had become, and you ran a finger around the edges of your lips to clear away the smeared lipstick that was now just a mess on both of your mouths, and you were glad that it had already begun to fade somewhat before this had all taken place.
He licked at his own lips, making sure the colour you’d printed onto him was gone, and when you finally judged yourselves to be appropriate again, or as appropriate as you were going to get, he opened the door for you both to reenter the house. The kitchen was warmer, and while you’d adjusted to the difference in temperature while Dave’s body had been pressed up to your own to keep you warm, you were glad to be back into the heated room. The doors were all closed now, the crowds having thinned, parents with younger children or older parents leaving, and yet there were still enough people that you managed to slip back into the party without being noticed as absent.
“See? Fifteen minutes ‘til the countdown. We’re just in time.”
Champagne flutes had been laid out along the island in the kitchen, all filled up perfectly, and Dave had two in his hands, passing one over to you, and you clinked them together, fingers weaving and palms pressed or one another’s as you walked into the rest of the house. The music had quietened, and the television had been turned on, the countdown displayed prominently on the screen as the final few minutes began to tick down, and Dave’s mother was making the rounds with a bottle of champagne to top up the glasses of anybody who needed it, always laying the perfect hostess.
Taking a small sip of the liquid in your glass, you winced slightly, but swallowing it anyway. It wasn’t your drink of choice, and you weren’t particularly keen on it, but since the two of you were not only celebrating the new year, but celebrating your anniversary, you were indulging in something a little classier. Dave’s hand was sitting low on your waist, letting you curl into his side, the night plodding on, and Stella and her friends were sprawled out on the couch, all looking absolutely exhausted, trying their very vest to keep their eyes open for long enough to see the countdown.
Now that it wasn’t as busy, you could see the extent of the mess left by the party, food trays and empty platters stacked high on the dining table, plastic cups and paper plates all over the room, both floors and surfaces, and there was enough leftover food and crumbs that it would probably fill a bag all on its own. Party poppers had been set off by the younger children before their parents had taken them home, leaving confetti and streamers on the floor, among the shredded remains of popped balloons and lost belongings. It was a catastrophe, and yet somewhere within yourself, you still couldn't wait until it is you hosting the party, getting to play that role.
A squeeze at your side brought you back to reality, dragging you from your thoughts, and you looked up to your boyfriend, finding him nodding his head towards the television, just as the timer clicked over onto one minute left, everybody beginning to crowd into the room just to see the screen, and you once again found yourself surrounded on all sides.
“What’s your New Year’s resolution, baby?”
You thought about it, unsure yourself as to what it actually was, nibbling on your lower lip a little, before letting out a sigh. “I suppose it would just be to complete this school year to the best of my ability, and to start journaling, because I keep wanting to do that and never get around to it.” He chuckled at the addition, watching as you pouted to yourself for only a moment, before you were turning your attention back to him. “What about you?”
“Same as every year; just to make every moment count. To make good memories.”
You giggled a little, a countdown beginning to start around you as the numbers on the clock hit twenty, and you rolled your eyes slightly, coming to stand before him more clearly. “You’re so cheesy.”
“Maybe, but it’s worked out pretty well for me so far.” His nose bumped against your own, and as the final countdown hit, your eyes were fluttering shut, whispering the figures as they dropped lower and lower, sinking into that same bubble that consisted of only you and he, until his lips were pressing to yours with the number one, a warm and loving kiss, his arm squeezing around you even more tightly than it had been and pulling you up into his chest, your free hand resting over his jaw, thumb stroking lightly across his skin, before settling to sit just behind his ear.
There was loud cheering, shuffling and celebrating, your bodies being jostled as hands landed on your shoulders in pats of congratulations and celebrations, but you paid them no mind, instead simply being focused on the way that it felt to kiss the man you loved as the year clicked over, welcoming you both into your second year of being in a relationship, and being in love.
When he finally pulled back, he pressed an equally adoring kiss to your cheek, and you could feel his smile pressed against you, the last scents of his fading cologne washing over you as you were shifted into a hug, feeling his cheek pressing against your temple. “Happy New Year, baby.”
“Happy New Year, Davie.”
You knew that you should call your parents and wish them the same, and that you should begin to acknowledge all the friends and family that were surrounding you, but for one more selfish moment, you wanted to absorb the time you had with him. When he pulled back, it was to clink your glasses together, one eye dropping in a cheeky wink, before the pair of you were downing what was within your glasses, trying to school the appalled looks on your faces as the taste trickled down your throats, fizzing and making itself known, before it as finally gone.
“Go and find your mom and your sister, I’ll call my parents, and I’ll find you afterwards.”
He only nodded his head, a final peck pressed to your lips, before he was disappearing through the crowds to find them.
You managed to find a quiet corner, pulling out your phone and calling your mother to wish both her and your father a happy New Year, and listening to them talk all about how they’d spent their own evening, bickering playfully about the movie they’d watched and the conversations they’d had, before bidding you a goodnight and telling you to use the spare key to let yourself in, as they’d locked the door, and were on their way to bed.
It was almost fickle how quickly the masses began to clear away. Once they’d had their midnight celebrations and welcomed in the turn of the year, they were already all beginning to leave, cars along the street roaring to life and taxis being called to ferry the more drunken patrons to their addresses, and the people around you were beginning to dwindle.
It wasn’t all that hard to find your love, his height and hair giving him away, messy locks standing out in the crowns of middle-aged neighbourhood women that had gathered around him and his little sister to coo at them and wish them the best, his face flushed a little pink as his eyes finally connected with your own, a look in them that screamed for help.
You hesitated, allowing him to be fussed over for a moment later, before finally, you took pity on him, moving in towards the group and taking the hand that he had outstretched for you. The neighbours didn’t like you nearly as much as they liked him, because he was the ‘handsome young man’ that they wanted to set up with their nieces and grand-daughters, but you were just the polite young lady who had taken that chance away. They favoured Dave greatly, and you weren’t surprised at all, because you favoured him too.
He was honest, well-mannered, funny, and a real sweetheart. His fingers laced with yours, letting you pull him away from the groups, and he followed after you, feet kicking through discarded rubbish on the ground. A yawn was pulling at your lips, and you covered it with your hand, trying to shake your head clear as tiredness crept in.
“Do you want a lift home?”
“I’ll call a cab, you’re just as tired as I am.” You mumbled, and he nodded his head, leaning down to be able to press his forehead to yours as your eyes fluttered shut. “Let me go and grab some bags, and we’ll start getting this place tidied up a bit.”
“Leave it ‘til the morning.” He grumbled, hands locking on your hips to hold you steady, and you laughed softly into the space between you both.
“You’ll hate it in the morning if you do.” You took his hands, stepping away backwards, and pulling him along behind you as you tugged him into the kitchen, leaving him to lean against the counter while you found a couple of new bin bags, and pressed on into his hands. “If you clean up the whole kitchen while I do the living room, the next time we go out to eat, I’ll let you choose where we go.”
“That is a backhanded deal, because you know that you’ll complain and we’ll still go to your place.”
You shrugged, a cheeky grin on your face as you pecked his lips swiftly, barely giving him a chance to reply. “Yeah, well, that’s what you get for loving me.”
“Oh, that’s what I get, huh?” He mocked, grinning as you walked away, and beginning to focus on the kitchen-connected-dining room, sweeping trash into the bag, and you made your way through to the main room. Dave’s mother was bidding farewell to the last of her guests, and Stella was fast asleep on the couch, curled up in her favourite party dress and what seemed to be every single sparkly necklace she owned.
When the door finally closed, you heard the relieved sigh that Dave’s mother let out, and you chuckled, turning to face her upon clearing the top of the television cabinet, no more plastic cups, plates and waste to go into it, and she grinned through her exhaustion as she saw you.
“You shouldn't be doing that, darling, that’s my job.”
“It’s no trouble. I even managed to wrangle Dave into doing the kitchen.” You teased, and she looked completely shocked just at the thought, before you were sharing tired laughs.
She held the bag open, and you grabbed every piece of litter you could find, and you were certain that while the room might look clear now, it would probably be littered with missed pieces of crap in the morning, when fresh eyes after a goodnight’s sleep were cast over it, but you were sure that the Hodgman’s would be able to handle it, especially with the head-start that you were giving them.
With the two of you working together, you managed to clear the halls and closets too, leaving everything empty as far as you could, by the time Dave came to collect the bags, and take them outside to the trash cans. Taking another one, you began to clear upstairs, finding it much tidier than it had been downstairs, only one bag’s worth of rubbish to be thrown out, and you took this one yourself, Dave trying to cover his tiredness as he swept the floors, glitter and confetti cleared from the solid oak floorboards until they were visible once again.
Stella managed to sleep through it all, drooling onto a pillow as she lay half-propped up, and your heart beat just for the sweet little girl, loving her as much as you’d love a little sister. Taking out the last of the litter, the bins were overflowing, the old year being ushered out by plastic and bottle, and you tried to shove it down, dusting off your hands when you finally made all the bags fit. The streetlights were yellowed and dull, making you realise just how late it had gotten and how tired you really were, the stars twinkling overhead and lulling you back into the sleepy haze you’d left behind to clean.
Wrapping your arms around yourself, you rubbed at your skin, trying to warm back up as you wandered up to the house, letting yourself in and leaning back against the door as you let out a deep sigh. Dave was making his way up the stairs, carrying his snoozing baby sister, and you watched him go, until he was disappearing from your view along the corridor.
“You okay, sweetie?’
You jumped a little, snapping over to look at his mother, who was watching fondly from the doorway, a nostalgic look on her face as her hands sat on her hips, and you shrugged a little. “Just tired. Thank you for a lovely evening, Mrs Hodgman. I’ll be out of your hair in no time.”
She scoffed, waxing a hand as she made her way towards you, and leaning behind you to flick the locks on the door, rubbing your shoulder lightly. “Don’t be ridiculous. You’re never a bother. You’re welcome to stay, and Dave can get you all sorted out.”
“Well, I can take the couch and just sl-”
“Oh, honey, I’m a mom, not a nun. You’ve been dating my son for a year now, I’m certain you and my son have shared a bed before, so sharing a bed won’t be an issue tonight.” Your face flared up with heat and you gaped at her, watching as she flicked off the remaining lights around the both of you. “You can stay over, I’ve already left your parents a message to explain. There’s no way I could possibly send you home at this time of night and feel at all like a responsible mother.”
She was walking up the stairs ahead of you, leaving you to stand alone in the darkness with heated cheeks and amused embarrassment coursing through your veins. Following her up the stairs, she slipped into her own bedroom, wishing you a goodnight before the door was clicking shut, and Dave was backing out of his younger sister’s room and turning off the light. He jumped a little as he found you sitting on his bed when he turned around, eyebrows shooting up a little, and he stepped into his bedroom, a softening tired look on his features.
“I think your mom just gave me a version of ‘the talk’.”
“She did what?” He was equally mortified and amused, toeing off his shoes and kicking them into the corner of the room, a hand closing behind his head to tug the material up and over his head, dropping it into the laundry bin in the corner.
“She said she knows we ‘share a bed’, and so tonight we can share a bed.” He snorted a laugh at your words, undoing the belt around his waist and leaving it abandoned on his desk, a smile on his face as he looked at you.
“That means you’re staying the night?”
“Yes, it does. You’d better find your best pair of sweats and a t-shirt for me.” He tapped at his drawers, undoing the button and zipper on his belt to be able to push them away down his legs, the denim pooling at his ankles, and your gaze followed them, a smirk on your face as he almost tripped over them while trying to get them off.
“You know where my clothes are, get them yourself.” He had a cocky look on his face, pulling a pyjama top on alongside his boxers and disappearing into the bathroom to clean his teeth.
It was a true statement, you knew exactly where all of his clothes lay, and you folded yours neatly to rest on his desk, finding a pair of sweats that hung baggy around your ankles and a t-shirt of his to wear, before allowing him into the bathroom. His hip bumped against yours, brush hanging from his mouth as he winked at you in the mirror, pulling a face a moment after, and almost making you gag on the mouthwash you had, chuckling to himself as you spat it away and cursed at him under your breath, and hot tap coming on.
He left you alone to remove your makeup, already curled up in bed with the covers pulled back when you entered the room, door closing behind you and light being flicked off, using memory alone to guide you to where you knew he to be laying.
When you were all tucked in around him, feeling him chuckle at the shuffling you did to get comfortable, you finally settled with facing him in the dark, his hand running up and down over your sides as you adjusted yourself, one leg slung over his, and the minty taste of his breath lingering on your tongue as noses brushed together, sharing a pillow.
“I like this.”
You hummed, eyes closing a little, your hand coming up to find his, bringing it away from your side to instead clasp it between your bodies, and you dipped your head down to press a kiss to the fingers joined with yours. “Sharing a bed?”
“Well, yes, but other things. Getting to see you as much as I have this week, it’s been incredible. I’ve seen you almost every day, and I’d have you by my side even more than that if I could. Going back to college is going to suck.” You squeezed at his hands tightly, a spark of excitement running through you, despite your sleepy state.
“I thought you loved your college? You always tell me such great things about it.”
“Everything else could be world-class, award-winning, and it’d still suck because you’re not there.” His words were slurred with sleep, and you let his hand fall down to rest on the mattress, your palm pressing over his heart, feeling it beat steadily and solidly under your touch.
“Well, that’s no fun, is it? I’m expecting you to show me all of the great things to do.”
He let out a huff of amusement, never shifting, but shaking his head slightly. “Yeah, if we ever get some free time during this year for you to come visit.”
“What if I didn’t just visit? What if I stayed?”
“Don’t tempt me, sweetheart, I might justice you down to the bed and refuse to let you leave.” He seemed to realise how his words had sounded, his body stiffening for just a moment, before breathy and quiet laughter was shared between you both, and he tipped his head up to press a long and slow kiss to your lips, both of you too lazy to really move, and so your lips played a lazy game together.
“I have something to tell you.”
“Oh, yeah? You breaking up with me? Because it would be awfully awkward if you did, we’d have to sleep back to back, and I would much rather cuddle.” He used the arm slung over your waist to pull you in closer, until his chin could rest on the top of your head and he could pull you in enough that your legs tangled and your chests pressed together.
“I’m not breaking up with you, you weirdo.”
“Your weirdo.”
“Yeah, yeah. Just listen to me, okay?’ He made a vague noise of agreement, going quiet despite the snickering that he was holding in, and you toyed with the material of his shirt, scratching lightly at his back as you tried to form words. “You know all the extra work I’ve been doing lately?”
“The work that’s been keeping you extra busy?” He sounded like he was pouting, a sulky voice, and you squeezed him a little tighter, not sure that you could get any closer to him if you tried, by now.
“It’s not been college work. Technically.”
“Extra credit?” He was half-asleep now, and you wanted to get this out before you lost him to sleep.
“No, transfer papers, and the likes.” You heard the sudden intake of breath that he too, body tensing up beside you, and then he was shifting a lot, pulling back and holding your face in both of his hands, more alert and awake than he had been for hours now. “There was a lot to do, I had class papers and catch-up assignments, and I still haven’t sorted out housing, but it went through. From now on we won’t have timezone struggles or differing social calendars, but our only problems would be different class schedules.”
“You’re serious?”
“One hundred percent.” You barely got your laugh out before his mouth was descending onto your own, a kiss that portrayed everything there was to say. Love, passion, adoration, gratitude, excitement, anything and everything that you could think of, feeling it all being conveyed.
This was exactly the reaction you’d been hoping for, you wanted him to be as thrilled as you were at the potential that the two of you would have, sharing a college as you moved to be closer to him, and there was a wetness to his cheeks as he twisted his head one gasping breath before he was dicing back in to kiss you again.
“I love you, Dave. I’m sick of being away from you.”
“I love you so fucking much.” He mumbled, lips stinging as they pressed for his, trying to return the eager kisses that he was gifting to you. When you finally needed a real breath, you pushed him back, shushing his complaints and groaning as you did, twisting your body to rest your head on his shoulder, and he kissed along the top of your head, any space he could reach, before finally laying back down into the blankets and settling in for sleep. “Happy New Year’s to me.”
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charincharge · 4 years
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I Don’t Want To Wait, fifteen
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rowaelin high school bff au masterlist
Based on the prompt:
Brushing each other’s hair
“Aelin.”
Aelin heard the voice calling out to her, but she felt no need to respond. Lorcan had been pestering her all damn day. To be fair, he was doing it out of the kindness of his weird, misguided crusty heart. But it didn’t make her feel any better. He couldn’t annoy her into forgetting what today was.
“Aelin!” he repeated, his voice getting louder with his growing annoyance. “Aeeeelinnn,” he sang, finally pushing her over the edge.
“What?!” she snapped.
“Nothing,” he shrugged, pulling out a frozen Snickers bar and biting into it with a smug smile.
“You’re really irritating, you know that?”
“No more irritating than you,” he said through his large bite of ice cream.
“How am I being irritating?”
Lorcan rolled his eyes. “You’ve been pouting since you got here this morning.”
She crossed her arms across her uniformed chest. “I’m not pouting.”
Lorcan stared her down, and she huffed. She knew he was right. She had been pouting. A lot. Since she officially learned of Rowan’s intentions to probably date Lyria, she’d been an emotional mess. Not that Rowan would know. No, she kept her face in a carefully constructed smile each time he mentioned her name, all the while her insides twisted. At least he was no longer keeping it a secret from her, though. And for that she was grateful.
“You are the Poutiest McPouterson of Pout Town,” Lorcan laughed, handing her the second half of his frozen snickers. Aelin frowned but resentfully accepted the half-eaten chocolate.
“And it’s been going on for days.”
Aelin ignored him and kept scrolling through her phone, ignoring him.
“What are you even doing right now?” Lorcan grabbed her phone and rolled his eyes. “Teenage Dream, I Want You To Want Me, Someone Like You, Stay, Summertime Sadness, I Touch Myself...? Oh, wow. This is so much worse than I even thought. This is sad. Like. Really fucking sad. I can’t allow this.” Aelin snatched her phone back and huffed. She didn’t need to be judged right now. She was fragile, and putting together a pining playlist was the only thing making her feel better. The only thing taking her mind off the fact that Lyria had returned from cheer camp and Rowan was officially taking her out tonight. It did make Aelin feel slightly better that Rowan had told her Lyria asked him to hang out, not the other way around. But. It didn’t make it hurt any less. Meanwhile, her big Friday night plans involved listening to her new playlist on repeat until she cried herself to sleep.
Lorcan raised a dark brow, waiting for Aelin to say something, and she finally broke. “Lyria’s back, and she and Rowan are ‘hanging out’ tonight.” She took a large bite of the ice cream, letting the sugar soothe her frayed nerves.  Lorcan frowned, looking her over intently and sighed.
“I can’t believe I’m going to say this, but—” Lorcan paused dramatically. “Come to my party tonight.” Aelin’s eyes narrowed at the hulking brunette, tugging at his long strands of hair, which had grown past his shoulder. “If Rowan is going to date a cheerleader, we’ll find you a football player.”
“I don’t want a football player,” Aelin said with a frown. “I want Rowan.”
Lorcan barked out a laugh. “Yes, I’m fully aware. But, get yourself a distraction, at the very least. Or, just come for a night of drinking. I don’t care.”
“You’re serious,” Aelin said slowly.
Despite their budding friendship, Lorcan hadn’t invited Aelin back to a party at his house since the fateful night she blacked out and socked him in the cheek. Not that she blamed him.
“Just, stick to beer this time.” Aelin couldn’t help but smile. “What?” Lorcan asked, causing Aelin to smile wider. She knew it was a pity invite, but she’d take it.
“You’re a good friend, Lorcan.”
“We’re not friends,” he said too quickly, causing Aelin to laugh. “I just feel bad for you.”
“We’re totally friends.”  
“I admit nothing,” he said, rolling his eyes again, but Aelin could see the smile behind them as he got back to work. It was bizarre. If someone had told her three months ago that she’d be friends with Lorcan Salvaterre, she would have laughed at them in the face, but she guessed this summer had changed quite a few things.
. . .
“So, you and Lorcan, huh?”
Aelin poked her head out of her closet to glare at the boy stretched out across her comforter. His phone rested on his stomach, and with his hands resting behind his head, Aelin could see just the smallest sliver of tan skin above his jeans. Taunting her.
Despite Lorcan’s mission to help her move on from Rowan, Aelin had asked him to come help her get ready for Lorcan’s party. She just wanted to see him before he went off with Lyria. Just… one more time. Just the two of them. Before everything changed.
“What?” She shook her head as she threw another pair of jeans across the room and onto Rowan’s feet. “No. We’re barely even friends.”
“Then, why are you freaking out?” he asked, watching her frustration with slight amusement.
“I am not freaking out,” Aelin huffed, locking herself back into her closet. She could hear Rowan’s snort through the door and could practically see his bright eyes rolling at her. She groaned loudly.
“Because I’m going to a party alone!” Aelin huffed. She’d asked Elide to join her, but she had plans with Manon, of course. And apparently Manon would rather cut her own arm off before going to a party at Lorcan’s. So, Aelin was flying solo tonight. And yes, she was nervous about it. “I’m only going to know Lorcan, and it’s going to be weird.”
“You make friends faster than any other human I know, Ace,” Rowan quipped, launching into what she assumed was a supportive manifesto, but he was speaking too low for her to really hear him. Which was fine with her, honestly.
Not wanting to think about how few people she’d know at this thing, she threw herself back into finding the perfect outfit. She wanted to look cute, but not be uncomfortable. Her eyes swept back and forth across the shelves, finally spotting her favorite pair of jean shorts. She tugged them on and grabbed an oversized band tee she’d cut up months ago. It wasn’t great, but it’d do.
She flung the door open in a big reveal, but Rowan had closed his eyes. Naturally. She didn’t know why she tried. This boy did not care what she looked like. Aelin’s nerves gathered in her stomach as she took in her reflection. She frowned. Something was missing.
“Necklace?” she asked the boy who was dozing off on her bed, and he shrugged with little interest. She didn’t know why she’d even asked him.
At her vanity, she pulled out a choker she’d borrowed from Lysandra months ago – and forgot to return – and attempted to put it on, but the chain quickly got tangled in the back of her long hair.
“Owwww,” she complained as she struggled to free the necklace from the knot forming around the chain, but it only served to make things worse. “Ro! A little help?” she asked over her shoulder. “Rowan!”
Rowan opened his eyes slowly and she stared, begging for help. He smiled as he slung his legs over the side of the bed, lumbering his way to her. He lifted up her hair gently and placed it over her shoulder with deft hands, leaving only the tangled part down her back. She stood straighter as she felt his rough fingers brush against the back of her neck, fiddling with the necklace.
She could hear his soft chuckle behind her. “I closed my eyes for three seconds. How did you even do this?” he asked. “You have so much hair,” he laughed, and Aelin could feel his breath against her shoulder. She hadn’t realized how close his mouth was to her skin, and it broke into goosebumps as a shiver ran up her spine.
“I know,” she replied softly. “I can’t remember the last time it was this long.”
Rowan hummed, his movements deceivingly gentle as he worked his way through the long strands, trying not to tug too hard. “I think it was this long when I met you.”
“Oh gods,” Aelin laughed. “It was even longer then.” She suppressed another shiver as Rowan’s fingers ghosted against the back of her neck, holding the hair in place as he pulled at the necklace. “I looked like a troll doll.”
“I like your hair long,” Rowan said, releasing the tangle she hadn’t quite been able to reach at the nape of her neck.
It was so rare that Rowan expressed any kind of preference on the way she looked, Aelin kind of couldn’t believe it. She’d always had fairly long hair, but for him to say he liked it filled her stomach with a swarm of butterflies. She swallowed thickly as he pulled the last twisted piece of hair from the necklace and clasped the chain with practiced ease.
“Thanks.”
“Done,” he said, and she turned around, surprised to see how close he still was to her. His face hovered just an inch away from hers, and she could feel a current of electricity run through her at his proximity.
“Your turn,” she said, breaking the strange tension between them and running her fingers across the top of his shaggy hair.
He pushed her hands away, laughing.
“You need a haircut,” Aelin laughed as Rowan finally gave up trying to push her away and let her brush his hair, which now fell just above his jaw. Aelin reached for the brush on her vanity and smiled as Rowan admit defeat, sitting on the edge of her bed and tilting his head back to let her work. Aelin pushed the long strands back, and, she watched as Rowan’s eyes fluttered close as he took a deep breath. His lips curled up slightly, and she could have sworn she heard his throat rumbling with a contented purr.
“So,” Aelin cleared her throat, trying not to stare at Rowan’s lips as she brushed through his long strands. “Odds I punch Lorcan again tonight?”
Rowan barked out a laugh, his smile widening as he pretended to think about it. He tapped his chin thoughtfully. “I say it’s fifty-fifty.”
“Thank you for your confidence,” she sassed, sticking her tongue out at him. He grinned in return, but he was quickly distracted by his beeping phone. His brow furrowed as he replied to whatever text and shoved his phone back into his pocket.
Aelin watched with a tugging at her chest as he smiled apologetically and stood from her bed.
“Lyria’s on her way to Maeve’s, so I should…” He made a motion with his head, and Aelin waved him off.
“Right,” she replied quickly. “I’ll let you get to it.”
He nodded and hunched his shoulders, awkwardly fiddling with the beltloops of his jeans. “I’ll talk to you later?” he asked, and Aelin used all her effort to force a smile onto her face.
“Yup,” she said, hoping her smile concealed her sudden feeling of nausea. “You can tell me all about your date.”
He smiled in return. “If you need me to pull you off Lorcan later, let me know.” His smile disappeared as Aelin cracked a smile. “That’s… not that you’ll be on him. That sounded wrong. You know what I meant,” he stuttered.
“Oh, I know.”
Aelin held up her fists and jabbed in the air toward Rowan. He shifted to the side, avoiding her feigned punch and laughed. She jabbed again and he blocked her fist by wrapping his large hand around her knuckles, and her hand went limp in his, falling between them.
He squeezed her hand gently, leaving a tingling sensation that lasted well after he took a step back.
“See ya, slugger,” he said, taking off with a wave.
Aelin laid back onto her bed and breathed in his scent from where he’d just been lounging. She inhaled deeply and let it comfort her. She could do this. She could get through one night without Rowan.
. . .
Aelin was a fool. She didn’t know how she thought she could distract herself by going out tonight. Every few seconds, she desperately pulled her phone from her pocket and checked to see if Rowan had texted her. But of course, he hadn’t.
He was on a date. With another girl.
She belatedly wished she’d asked him what their plans were, because now her mind was left to imagine the absolute worst. She pictured them sharing food and going on a romantic drive down to the pier where they could watch the water and make out to a playlist of Rowan’s choosing. Oh gods, they were going to make out.
Aelin was going to be sick.
“Babe, you’re bringing the whole vibe down,” Lorcan said, plopping onto the couch next to her.
“Don’t call me babe, babe,” she frowned, poking his arm.
“Babe,” he repeated, a goofy smirk across his face.
“Babe.” Aelin blinked twice, hoping to get rid of him, but Lorcan seemed unfazed by her attitude.
“You are having zero fun, and it’s making everyone sad,” Lorcan sighed. “You weren’t into Finn or Cormac?”
Her hand twisted around her beer can as she shrugged. Lorcan had been a surprise, introducing her around as soon as she made it there. She’d been so nervous about not knowing anyone, but she hadn’t thought that Lorcan would bother taking the time to make sure that wasn’t the case for long. But despite his best wingmanning efforts, Aelin couldn’t enjoy herself. She could barely talk to the two football players, completely and utterly distracted by thoughts of Rowan.
“Come with me,” Lorcan said, heaving them off the couch. “You need more to drink.”
Aelin shook her head, her shoulders sagging in as she admitted defeat. This night was a wash. She should just go home and cry.
Lorcan pulled the beer from her hand and finished it himself in one large gulp. He grimaced as he swallowed, shuddering slightly. “You let it get warm. That is gross.”
Aelin stared at the burly boy she’d been so frightened of a few months ago with a raised brow. “Hey, Lorcan?” She paused as he looked toward her with interest. “Why are you being so nice to me?”
He shrugged and reached a hand out to her, pulling her off the couch. “Because you and Whitethorn are both fucking idiots, and being heartbroken sucks.”
Aelin laughed, unable to help herself. “I guess I can drink to that.”
Lorcan grinned widely and clapped. “Then, let’s get to it.”
She let him guide her through the party and into the kitchen where he pulled two more beers from the fridge.
“So…” Aelin didn’t want to push, but his words had gotten her curious. “Any chance you’re going to tell me who caused your broken heart?”
Lorcan laughed as he cracked them both open. “Nope,” he said as he handed Aelin her new cold beer.
She couldn’t help but roll her eyes at the dramatics of her friend. But she held up her beer to cheers his, knocking the cans against each other as she tilted her head back and let it flow down the back of her throat. She wasn’t exactly a huge beer fan, but, it was definitely safer than whatever red concoction was being scooped out of a literal trashcan. Or, so she’d learned last time.
She downed the can quickly and laughed in surprise as Lorcan held out another one for her.
As she took her next sip, a surprising song filtered through the room, causing Aelin to shoot her eyes up at Lorcan, who was looking at her with laughter in his dark eyes.
“What?” he asked.
“You added this to your playlist for me.”
Lorcan scoffed loudly, shaking his head overexaggerated from side to side. “I did no such thing. I just love Cheap Trick.”
“Babe.” Their new term of endearment hung in the air between them for a millisecond, until the intro of the song ended and launched into the lyrics.
Lorcan cackled wildly as he started singing to her, the words she’d been repeating in her head all week coming out of his mouth with surprising ease.
I want you to want me, I need you to need me
I’d love you to love me, I’m begging you to beg me
Aelin couldn’t help the laughter that bubbled up in her throat at the way Lorcan clutched at his heart when he sang, leading her back through the party. As he sang, he stepped up onto the low coffee table and reached down for Aelin.
She rolled her eyes but smiled, accepting his hand as he pulled her up on the coffee table with him to the round of large cheers from the crowds surrounding them.
I want you to want me, I need you to need me
I’d love you to love me…
I’ll shine up my old brown shoes, I”ll put on a brand new shirt
I’ll get home early from work
If you say that you love me
The beer buzz made its way through her body, loosening her limbs as she swayed back and forth. She tilted her head back and closed her eyes, letting the music soothe her as she sang loudly.
Didn’t I, didn’t I, didn’t I see you crying?
Ohh, didn’t I, didn’t I, didn’t I see you crying?
Feeling all alone without a friend you know you feel like dying
Didn’t I, didn’t I, didn’t I see you crying?
Lorcan grabbed her hand and spun her under his arm, and Aelin finally felt her anxiety start to dissipate. Yes, this year was going to be different. But different didn’t have to mean, bad, right?
They cheersed again at the beginning of the long guitar solo, both knocking back the rest of their beers quickly. She watched as Lorcan scanned the crowd that had formed around the coffee table, most likely scoping out who he’d take to bed later. And inspired by her sudden lack of inhibitions and surge of happiness, Aelin decided to do the same. Not that she was going to take anyone to bed, but she could see who was potentially interested. She let her eyes trail across the mix of upperclassmen, a few who eyed her swaying hips appreciatively.  
She was about to launch back into singing when she spotted an all-too familiar head of silver blonde hair. Her heart pounded. Was it possible that he’d already ended his date and come to seek her out? Had she been worried for absolutely nothing?
Hope swirled in her stomach, but it was quickly squashed as her gaze trailed down his extended arm, down to his hand which was linked with a familiar brunette’s. Her chest contracted at the sight of them, hand in hand, fingers linked, making their way through the party. Aelin lost her step and lost balance, stumbling into Lorcan, who luckily was so sturdy that he barely flinched at her impact, steadying her quickly with a hand around her waist.
“I need another drink,” she said quickly at Lorcan’s questioning stare.
She hopped off the table and made her way through the throngs of sweaty bodies, tracking Rowan’s tall head across the room as he made his way into the kitchen, Lyria in tow. She wanted to look away – it physically hurt her to see his hand in hers, but she couldn’t. Her obsessive gaze followed them, and she held in a gasp as Lyria took a step in front of Rowan, and he moved his hand to the small of her back.
She’d dreamed of being touched like that by Rowan so frequently. And here he was, doing it without a second thought with Lyria. It just solidified what Aelin had already known in her heart: Rowan had never thought of her as more than a friend.
As she gained ground on them, getting closer, she stopped. What the hell was she doing? She should be running the other way from them, not approaching them. But she couldn’t stop. Like a magnet, she was obsessively drawn to Rowan.
“Uh, hey?” she said, tapping his shoulder gently.
He turned and looked down at her, a calm smile curling at his lips. “Hey.”
Aelin shoved her hands into her shorts pockets, not knowing what to say to him.
“Sorry to crash,” Rowan apologized. “Lyria’s friends texted that they were here.”
He pointed to the gaggle of cheerleaders communing in the corner of the kitchen behind him, and Aelin nodded as she watched Lyria distribute hugs to the girls she’d been away from all summer.  
“Plus, I know you said you were worried about not having any friends here…” he trailed off, looking nervous.
“It’s fine,” Aelin said, hoping she didn’t sound as affected as she felt. As if there were some invisible wall between her and her best friend that had never been present before.
“You having fun?” he asked, and Aelin shrugged. She wasn’t exactly sure there was an answer for that.
He frowned at her less than enthusiastic reply, and Aelin was about to ask if he wanted to talk outside when Lorcan bounded up beside them.
“G, what’s taking so long?” he asked, seeing her empty hands, cracking a beer and handing it to her. “I have a hoard of friends asking about the hot girl who was dancing on the coffee table.” He looked at her with a pointed glare before sliding his eyes over to the glowering boy beside him. “Oh, hey, Rowan. Didn’t see you there.”
Rowan nodded stiffly, and Aelin quirked an eyebrow at him. Wondering what his deal was.
“How many constitutes a hoard?” she asked Lorcan, taking a sip of her fresh beer.
“Five?”
“Think they could all handle me?” Aelin asked, ignoring the feeling of Rowan’s eyes boring a hole into the side of her head.
“Together?” Lorcan asked, and Rowan inhaled sharply, causing him to sputter and choke on his first sip of beer. As he coughed, Aelin finally let her eyes roll.
“You’re not really thinking…” Rowan said, and Aelin scoffed loudly.
“Of course not, Buzzard.” She paused. “I was kidding.”
How could even remotely think that was a possibility? She watched as the tension visibly drained from his shoulders at her words, and she was annoyed by how relieved that made her feel.
“Well,” he said, his sneaker toeing at the sticky tile floor. “I’ll let you get back to your hoard.”
“And you should get back to your date,” Aelin replied, feeling more annoyed than she had any right to. But there was something in his tone, that slight hint of disapproval that had her on edge.
She tried not to glance over her shoulder as Lorcan swept her back out to the living room, but she couldn’t help it. She watched as Rowan made his way over to Lyria, sliding his arm around her waist and tugging her close.
She tried to stay focused on anything else for the rest of the party, she really did – but she couldn’t. She found herself constantly seeking out her best friend’s tall head. Despite the amount of guys Lorcan introduced herself – which, was an actual hoard – she was completely uninterested. She nodded and smiled in all the right places, but she barely registered anyone’s names, too busy wondering what the boy on the other side of the house was doing.
Having had enough of torture of her own making, Aelin decided it was finally time to leave the party. She wanted to say goodbye to Rowan before leaving, let him know that he could text her when he left. But her feet froze when she spotted him. He and Lyria were in the shadows under the staircase. She watched with a painful chest as their arms wrapped around each other. It was almost as if she were watching them in slow motion as Rowan ducked down and pressed his lips to Lyria’s. Her lips parted beneath his, and her hands knotted in the hair that Aelin had so carefully brushed earlier that night, keeping him close. A wave of nausea hit her suddenly and fiercely. Her head spun, and she knew she needed to leave the party immediately. Everything hurt. Her whole body.
Shaky legs led her out of the party and across town. She didn’t have the patience to wait for an Uber.
By the time she reached home, Aelin’s sadness had morphed into anger.
Why did she let Rowan have this much control of her? His actions had no right to make her feel this terrible. Her chest bloomed with fury as she thought over his words, his subtle judgment that she shouldn’t be allowed to meet other guys. But apparently, he was allowed to kiss whoever he wanted.
Aelin was finished needing Rowan’s approval. She needed to separate herself from him, from the affirmations she’d always sought out. She stumbled around the kitchen, looking for something in particular and set her mouth in a determined line when she found the tool. Breathing heavily, she reached for a section of her long, golden hair and snipped.
~*~
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honeysidesarchived · 3 years
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WHERE THERE IS NO TEMPTATION, THERE IS NO GLORY.
⊱ a santino d'antonio / oc short-fic
pt. ii: they whose lives do not taste of evil ( read on ao3 ) ( masterlist )
words: 2.7k
warnings: none that are chapter specific.
rating: m/t
notes: thank you to everyone who has loved on me and supported me after posting the first part of this! it really makes me so warm and fuzzy inside and i cannot express in words how grateful i am. ♡
as always, thank you to my love @starcrier for being my most wonderful beta. ♡♡
Morning light filters through the curtains in the bedroom. The air conditioning had clicked off moons ago, having decided that the room was at its sufficient temperature; now just a few rays of the sun are warming the carpet on her side, cutting across the cream-colored knit blanket at the foot of the bed. Through the windows, she can hear the bustle of New York—churning, grinding, a beast of its own as it laboriously beneath their own feet.
Sometimes, Euphemia thinks that she hates New York—that she misses the countryside in Italy, that she misses bare feet on grass and warm, dark earth and the sticky-wet of pulling fruit straight from the vine. Sometimes, Euphemia thinks that New York is a beast waiting for her, to swallow her up, teeth ripping through pavement and concrete and brick to bite bite bite until it reaches her.
But not today. Today, Euphemia is not thinking about the Beast. She is thinking only about the fact that Santino’s spot beside her is empty, and then she’s reminded that today he will be wandering out into the world under the Table to ask a man who doesn’t want anything to do with Santino to grant him a favor. To grant Santino what he is owed, as he would prefer it framed.
Euphemia sits up in bed. She’s not sure when it is that she finally fell asleep, but if the drag of exhaustion in her mind is any indication, it wasn’t very long ago. She can’t recall if she dreamt, or if she rested even at all—if she had to guess, she’d think she spent the entire night tossing and turning, restless, with the burning itch of John Wick’s threatening presence looming in her future.
She can hear Santino out in the kitchen; the smell of coffee drifts in through the open door. The blonde slips out of bed to wander out, her footfalls quiet on the plush carpet, and she sees him—dressed, polished up, as though he got a perfect eight hours of sleep. An old song hums through the speakers of the sound system on the entertainment stand.
So much for keeping him distracted, Euphemia thinks ruefully.
“Good morning,” Santino greets, pouring a cup of coffee and setting it on the island counter to scoot it in her direction. “You were sleeping so soundly that I didn’t want to wake you.”
“You could have,” Euphie replies, taking the cup in her hands and using it to warm her fingers rather than drinking the coffee. “It wouldn’t have mattered. I don’t feel like I have slept at all.”
“Yes,” he agrees somberly, “you were restless.” His hand reaches up, the pad of his thumb tracing the slope of her jaw. “My little worrier.”
She crinkles her nose at him, finally relenting and taking a sip of her coffee. He’s made it just the way that he knows she likes—strong, rich, cream and no sugar. Santino winds his arms around her and laces his fingers against the small of her back, leaning so that he can get a long, good look at her.
“Well, go on,” he prompts her, eyes glittering playfully. “I know you want to say something to keep me home.”
Euphie’s chest tightens. It’s a little cruel of him; he wants to hear her ask, even though they both know there’s nothing she could say to change his mind. He likes to have her ask just so he can tell her no, and usually, she won’t bite. Not for his ego.
But this is different.
She sets the coffee aside, her hands instead finding his chest, holding on to the lapel of his jacket. She says, “I don’t want you to go, Santi. Please don’t go. We can stay in bed all day, or—what if we went back to Italy? Just for a little while? My mother would like to see you, I know.” Swallowing, Euphie feels her lashes flutter, the desire to let her voice wobble with emotion almost overwhelming. I won’t, she thinks, I won’t cry. “We can do anything you want, but—not this.”
“Sweet Euphie,” Santi sighs, taking her face in his hands. “Così dolce, just for me, aren’t you?” He leans in and kisses her temple; for a split second, she thinks that he might acquiesce, that he might set it aside, even for one day—indulge her, the way that he likes to do. Santino has always wanted her to be selfish with him. When they’d started dating, it took her months to get used to the way he’d buy her anything, cook her anything, give and get her anything, and for a girl who’d had so very little for so long, it had almost been nauseating. She would eat her fill, and Santino would say, more, cara mia? Would you like more? As if he had known that allowing her to indulge herself in the fruits of his world under the Table would curse her to stay, forever.
And here she was. Stuck. Blissfully, dreadfully, wretchedly, sickeningly and wonderfully stuck.
“But no,” he continues, pulling back and tilting her chin up with his fingers. “Business needs to be taken care of before I can relax.”
Euphemia releases a breath that she hadn’t realized she was holding. It’s not an unexpected response, but she won’t kick herself for trying—not considering the circumstances, considering what he is leaving to do. In anything else, she might have been too proud to say please.
Her fiancé plants a kiss on both of her cheeks. “Drink your coffee,” he commands, his voice light as he grabs his phone and tucks it into his pocket, heading for the door. “What time is the engagement party?”
“Seven,” Euphie replies tiredly. She does as he bids like it’s second nature to her now, taking a drink of the coffee. “Be back by five, Santi.”
His hand is on the handle to the door outside. She thinks she might be sick. He says, “Wear the red dress I like.”
“Maybe. If you behave.”
Santino flashes her a grin from the doorway. She wonders if anyone else is comfortable ordering him around, or if she’s just so accustomed to living with an apex predator that she’s become numb to his dangers.
“Yes, cara mia,” he purrs. “Anything you say.”
Except that isn’t true, she thinks, watching him open the door and greet Ares, who has been waiting—lurking, in the hall to the elevator, like the shadows cut across the floor from the chandelier lights. There is a tiny moment where their eyes meet over Santino’s shoulder, and Euphemia hopes that she might see pity; she’s miserable, after all, knowing that Santino is walking into a slaughterhouse.
As ever, Ares is unreadable. There is only the tiny, almost imperceptible quirk of the corner of her mouth, and then door is closed and Euphemia is alone. And there is a tiny, vicious part of her that says, we ought to get used to being alone. We never should have forgotten it in the first place.
━━━━━━━━━━━━
Santino is late, and when he shows up, he doesn’t say whether things went well or not.
They must have gone well enough, because he’s alive and in one piece and in a fine enough mood. But that is the problem—his mood is fine. He arrives at his own engagement party in a fine mood, and Euphemia can’t decide what’s more irritating: that he’s late, that he won’t tell her how it went, or that he can’t fake being delighted for a few hours.
“Ah, there’s your man,” Winston says, a smile lifting his expression. The older man had been keeping her company as the hour ticked by and she had to say hello and hi and thank you to every guest attending at Santino’s behest—yet another frustrating detail, Euphemia mentally notes, that he’d bothered all of these folks to show up and didn’t have the decency to arrive on time himself. She’s very certain that Winston did not intend to stay as long as he has, and for that, she feels poorly.
But she’s too irritated to express it properly. “Is that one mine?” Euphie asks lightly, turning her gaze away from Santino striding into the room and getting stopped by guests on his way to her. She twists her untouched champagne flute in her fingers, fixing her gaze back on Winston. “No man of mine would come late to his own party. Not if he wanted to walk out in one piece.”
Winston laughs at her words and gives her hand a pat. “You are a woman after my own heart, Euphemia Volpe.”
“I’ll be accepting applications for the position of my husband shortly, I think.”
She feels Santino’s hand on her waist just before he leans into kiss her cheek; the movement is so quick that she doesn’t have the time to properly avoid his affection, and he almost certainly does that on purpose.
“I am so glad you could come, Winston!” Santino announces, reaching and shaking the older man’s hand. “And that you got to spend some time with my own personal star.” He turns to her now, finally, reaching up to take her face in his hands. “Mi dispiace, Euphie, I did try to hurry.”
She tilts her head a little, lifting her chin out of his grasp. “Don’t apologize to me,” Euphemia replies. “Winston is the one you kept waiting.”
Santino grins. It doesn’t quite reach his eyes—or rather, it doesn’t look like the kind of grin that you make when you’re happy. Nothing about him screams happy, future wedded-bliss. Everything looks strained, like someone’s pissed him off and he’s just had to do something about it.
He looks at Winston, dropping his hands. “I’m sorry, truly.”
The man waves his hand, as though it isn’t a big deal—but it is, Euphie knows, at the very least to her; Winston has always treated her kindly, regardless of whose arm she was on-and he puts a hand on Santino’s shoulder. “I only came to say congratulations and see this fine lady, and then I was going to be off. So—congratulations...” His gaze turns to Euphemia. “Miss Volpe.” He kisses both of her cheeks. “Here I have seen you. And I will be on my way.”
Euphie says, “Thank you for coming, Winston. You did not need to wait around for this idiot.”
“I never say no to time with a beautiful lady,” he admonishes, making to leave. “Santino just happens to be here.”
“I will walk you out,” Santino declares. He’s only just arrived, and he smells a little bit like smoke, and he’s carrying with him a strange, frantic energy; but before Euphemia can think to say anything, he’s kissing her—hard, and a little desperate, and she can feel an eerie tremble in his hands before he pulls away and takes her drink out of her hand and swallows the entire thing in one go.
And then he’s off. Walking away with Winston, who looks calm and unbothered by the erratic display (though Winston always looks that way, so it’s no good gauge for Euphemia to tell when something is off). But something is off. As they’re walking, Santino is talking to Winston with a frenetic urgency that translates only in ways she can recognize. To the outside eye, her fiancé is composed, and perhaps a little stressed, his strides collected and tight and his lopsided grin to sharp to be pleasant.
His kiss tastes of ash. She can feel it in her mouth, still, gunpowder and smoke lingering in the palette, but she will not bring herself to think about where it came from.
By the time Santino returns from “walking Winston out”—which probably means talking to Winston about something he doesn’t want Euphie to hear—she has decided to bring it up. She doesn’t know how, yet, but she’s going to do it.
He slides his arms around her as she visits with some of their friends, burying his face into the crook of her neck, like he just can’t stand not to be touching for a second longer. The conversation carries on blithely without her; Euphie reaches up and cradles the side of Santino’s face with her hand, fingers brushing the dark, honeyed curls at his temple. She’s decided to be sweet about it.
“You seem stressed,” she murmurs.
“Not stressed,” Santino replies, speaking the words into her neck. He sways a little, turning her in his arms and pulling her against him so that he can sway her with him. The movements are leisurely in comparison to the energy that he’s carrying; pushing and pulling with the lull of the delicate music playing overhead. It should be a dream, this engagement party. It’s all golden light and warmth billowing from an ornate fireplace, the people that she cares the most about celebrating her and Santino’s love.
Euphemia says, “You smell like smoke.”
It’s not a question, and Santino knows it. He holds one of her hands in his and presses their foreheads together.
“You are so beautiful, Euphie,” he sighs dreamily. He kisses her again—less urgent this time—and she knows what it means: it’s better if she doesn’t ask. She’s going to be a D’Antonio, which means that problems get taken care of for her, and she doesn’t have to worry about following up.
Still, while the warmth of his kiss is distracting and lovely, and the feel of his hands pressing into the base of her spine where the plunging back of the red silk dress he likes the best on her makes her skin break out in delighted goosebumps, she cannot help but think, I should know. I have a right to know what’s going on.
“Santi,” she begins, lower her voice even more, “if something has happened—”
“Nothing has happened,” Santino insists, turning her slowly before drawing her back against him. “Mia piccola volpe, stop fussing. I promised you, didn’t I?”
Her lips press into a thin line. “Yes,” she replies after a minute, “you did.” But if something has happened, she wants to say, and can’t bring herself to because Santino is kissing her again, pleased with her concise and obedient answer; he kisses her again and again, between breaths, funneling all of his frenzied energy into her instead. He gives it to her to hold, but won’t tell her where it’s come from or why it’s there. Just shoves it into her for safekeeping.
People cat-call and holler and whoop and laugh, and he grins against her mouth, lifting her up against him playfully—just far enough off the ground that she loops her arms around his neck to steady herself, unable to focus on how frustrating it is to be worried, and not know why.
“Ti amo,” Santino rumbles against her collarbone, kissing there reverently. “What do you think about leaving, hm? Sneak out of our own engagement party early, so I can take you home and enjoy you properly?”
It sounds too good, to go home. It sounds too good, because just that morning, she was begging him not to leave.
“I don’t know,” she ventures, smoothing her hand absently over the lapel of his suit jacket once he’s set her back down. “I don’t know, Santi, I...”
Her voice trails off. Ares is by the door. Once, the woman had been a comfort to her; now, she’s a reminder of this traitorous thing Santino has done, this thing that sits between them but only he can see and touch and feel, and Euphie just has to suffer the consequences of it one way or another.
“Come on, cara mia,” he coaxes, drawing her eyes back to him, twisting a strand of her hair around his finger. “We can do whatever you want.”
There must be something he isn’t telling me, she thinks. Something that’s blown his pupils wide until the black at them is eating away at the gorgeous jade green of his irises. Something dreadful, that he knows she’ll hate. That she’ll fuss about.
The question sits there, just on the tip of her tongue. What about Wick? she wants to ask. But she already knows that he won’t tell her, and she is learning quickly not to ask.
Ignorance is bliss, anyway.
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