a Fanfic I'll Never Write
(a/n: i don't intend to really finish this, nor do i know where i was going with it. haha)
pairing: TFWS! Bucky x Reader
warnings: sexual content, bdsm aspects, alcohol, mild misogyny (you really have to squint), story starts in a very random place so I'm sorry if at first it doesn't make sense.
let me know if I miss anything else
also, this has NOT been beta read, i own up to all mistakes and incorrect grammar
"no. no! anyone but her!" bucky yelled at sam and Zemo holding his hands up to further prove his protest.
**********
the bar they walked into was loud. the way it was designed was like someone hadn't grown out of their 12 year old emo phase. black walls, floors and tables. the bar counter was the focal point with thousands of light up skulls that changed color with the music that was playing. fake spiderwebs and Victorian portraits hung on the walls with pictures of someone called BeetleJuice. "he looks like you before coffee" Sam mocked Zemo pointing to those pictures.
the patrons of this bar were also dressed in all black, a few had neon colored hair that Bucky had to remind himself this wasn't the 40's anymore. people had the right to look however they wanted, even if he still found unnatural hair colors weird.
surrounded by a crowd at the bar was the woman they were looking for. but what they saw her doing nearly gave bucky a heart attack. the poor old man that he was.
Y/N Y/L/N was topless laying titts up on the counter while some punk was pouring hot candle wax on her. the crowd was hollering and whistling in excitement. "has she always had her nipples pierced?" Zemo asked noone in particular. Bucky was this close to crushing his windpipe for staring at his girl.
just because he left her so she could live a life without his baggage didn't mean he had stopped thinking of her as his girl.
Y/N arched her back and stuck her tongue out. a different man poured his drink down her throat and tried to touch her without his permission. Bucky saw red, but before he could go play hero Y/N had sat up and started twisting that guy's arm behind him.
"did i give you permission to touch me? last i checked pet, i hadn't. you gonna make it up to me? how bout an apology." Y/N bit his ear and shoved him to the ground.
the man instantly fell to his knees, placing his hands on his thighs with his head facing downward. "forgive me mistress, i need to be punished so badly! let me please you!"
Sam and Bucky looked at each other in confusion. Zemo though looked like he had gotten what he wanted on Christmas morning.
Y/N cocked her head to the side and lifted her foot so it rested on the man's crotch. he whimpered and had a blissed out look on his face. "kiss it."
the man instantly did as she said kissing her foot with the utmost reverence. Y/N held her head up while looking at the man in disgust. she pushed him off her and slapped him across the face. "you're pathetic. a real man wouldn't be a spineless twat like you are now. strip and meet me on the stage pet. i feel like teaching you a lesson."
the crowd around the pair cheered with more hollering and whistles.
"what kind of bar did you say this was?" Zemo asked Sam seeing as how he was the one to bring the trio there.
"i..i was told it was an alternative bar. you know, for goths or something." Sam was stuttering and blushing slightly. Bucky never took his eyes off Y/N. he knew her too well. he could see she was just putting on a show, but wasn't really getting any enjoyment from being this dominant. he knew what kind of submissive she usually was. he had spent hours learning.
was it weird that thought brought him some comfort?
"come on" he told his awkward group as he made his way to the bar. there was a woman behind the bar with only a little more clothing on than Y/N. she had curly brown hair and harsh blue eyes that showed how unkind life had been. "what can i get you?"
she sounded exhausted and more than ready to go home.
"how often does she do this?" Bucky asked the woman, not wanting to waste her time even more so.
the woman gave him a small once over with an eyebrow raised, but didn't say what she was thinking.
"she's one of our regulars. she does this when she's pissed of about something usually. the wax thing is new though. not complaining about it, it's just new." the woman shrugged her shoulders. Bucky nodded.
"so, can i get you anything to drink or are just going to be pervy?"
"i'll have a Vodka Tonic if you would be so kind." Zemo ordered his drink. "and your name so that i don't feel like i'm disrespecting you madam."
the woman chuckled “you wouldn't be the first man. my name is Sami. i'll get that drink going for you." she turned to sam, "anything sound good?"
Sam ordered a beer but wasn't paying much attention to her. he was focused on Bucky wondering what was going through his head. bucky didn't want to see Y/N or bring her onto this mission. last he heard, the pair had a falling out caused by Bucky, but here he was staring at her like all he wants to do is take her in his arms and never let go. Y/N still hadn't noticed the trio, too busy hitting a poor, near naked man with a ridding crop on a stage for the whole bar to see. Sam just had to laugh at the scene.
just when he thought this was going to be a moment of calm in a world of crazy, Bucky started walking towards the stage and he didn't look happy.
"bucky! don't... you...don't!"
it was too late, the super soldier stood right in front of the dominatrix with a defiant look in his eye and his arms folding across his chest, metal arm shining in the lights. Sami the bartender thought he looked equal parts dangerous and sexy. Sam just thought he looked stupid.
Y/N though....
Y/N thought he looked beautiful. all rough, dark, and commanding. it didn't take away the hurt though and that pissed her off.
Y/N jumped of the stage to stand right in front of him, one had murder in their eyes, the other possession. "what the fuck are you doing here Barnes?" Y/N's voice sounded like pure venom.
Bucky gave a soft, sad smile. "it's good to see you too doll."
*****
after that awkward reunion, everyone sat down in a corner booth of the bar away from prying ears and leering eyes. Y/N still hadn't put a shirt back on. Bucky swore this woman was gonna be the death of him. "so let me get this straight, you break him out of a high security prison,"
Zemo had the nerve to smile.
"you thought you made the right choice in giving up the shield, so now it's in the hands of the human version of moldy blue cheese,"
Sam folded his arms and rolled his eyes.
"and you still can't look me in the eyes, but you want my help with 'terrorists gone wild'."
Bucky stared at the table even harder.
"we understand that we're asking a lot from you Y/N, but we could really use your help." Sam tried pleading with her, though he wasn't happy with what she said.
Y/N sighed and leaned back in her seat, rolled her head side to side to try cracking her neck. it didn't work unfortunately.
"I’m in. but lets get one thing straight,"
she turned to look at Bucky. "after this, don't ever think of pushing me away again to hurt yourself further." Bucky finally met her eye and saw her big (Y/E/C) eyes filled with anger, concern, and love. how a woman like her could ever love a broken shell like him, he'd never understand.
"I promise." those words were barely spoken over a whisper, but they were felt like bombs.
Sam, and even Zemo, felt like they the uninvited 3rd wheel intruding on a moment they weren't supposed to be.
"Sami! mind pouring me a drink to go?" Y/N called out.
Sami rolled her eyes but had a soft caring smile on her face as she grabbed the rum behind her. "you owe me!"
TAGLIST: @buckle-up-buttercups @whovianhalfblood @gideonknave @roulu @itsbobbi
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I've never
I've never had a knife to my heart, but I came pretty close today.
I've never felt the pain of my heart being bludgeoned and feel the blood pour out. But today, today I came pretty close.
I've never felt that sharp pain, you know that pain? It's almost like the sharpest pinch, but in your heart, its such discomfort and sometimes, it removes the ability to see.
I've never felt a fist impact my chest, and my chest love it.
I've never been so hurt, and happy I feel such hurt.
I have never
I've never missed anyone the way I miss you.
I've never cried so erratically
I've never longed to see anyone's else's parents
I've never told anyone that I lost the love of my life, the heart mine beats for.
I mean why would I? It's not me who passed, It's not my mother who had to say goodbye to her child. It's not my life that was taken. So why, why when I hear your name or see your birthdate why do I feel this way.
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