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ace-aro-queerplatonic-positivity · 6 months

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Anyway, as I was saying:

X years later and I’m still fucking queer– eh, well, non-fucking queer but you get me

Just had a cringe memory about how my coming out in my high school yearbook was botched because the editing team didn’t know the word “queer” and instead of asking me they edited it to “queen” (my handwriting isn’t THAT illegible!)

#about me #ace joke #ace identity #ace humour #ace #personal #personal story #tw misgendering

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the-asexuality-blog · 2 years

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One of the first things I want to bring to everyone’s attention is the fanfiction series that helped me realize that I am asexual. Yes, I know it’s BBC Sherlock, infamous queerbait, but this fanfic series is well written and profoundly meaningful for me. I found my identity in Unkissed Sherlock.

There are some scenes of explicit sexual interaction in this series, so be aware of that if you’re sex-repulsed. As with any fanfiction, please read the ratings and tags before you decide to open one of them, and if you find it’s not to your liking, put the Back button to its proper use.

#fanfiction #asexuality #ace identity #ace positivity #sherlock

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compellawriting · 2 years

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On the last day of Pride month, I wanted to come out as a hetero-romantic asexual. I've wondered what I am for several years, and it feels good to finally know and share this aspect of my identity.

#lgbt pride #ace pride #heteroromantic asexual #pride month #coming out #lgbtqiia+#asexual #asexual pride #asexual heteroromantic #asexual post #asexual positivity #ace identity #lgbtqa #lgbtqia

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angryaromantics · 10 months

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I get the hesitancy to claim a label when you're not completely sure of it yourself. This is especially prevalent in the aro and ace communities because how do you prove a negative? Maybe you will meet someone in twenty years and feel that proverbial spark. But here's the truth: it doesn't matter.

It doesn't matter if it's a phase!! You are living in this body, in this moment, in this label right now. Who you are now matters just as much as who you might be.

#aromantic #aro #asexual #ace #labels are here to serve you and help you to connect to people like you and that matters even if your identity Is transitional #koko thinkin thots

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inkskinned · 2 months

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before you know about women, you hear that you do not need to love the man, just that you need to love him through his manhood. which is to say you have seen the future painted in lamb's blood over your eyes - how your mother shoots you a look about your father's inability to cook right. how your aunt holds her wineglass and says i'm gonna kill em. men, right! how your best friend bickers with her boyfriend, how she says i can't help it. i come back to him.

you learn: men are gonna cheat. men aren't going to listen when you're talking, because you're nagging. men think emotions are stupid. they think your life is vapid and your hobbies are embarrassing. men will slam things, but that's because men are allowed to be angry. if you get loud, you're hysterical. if a man gets loud - well, men are animals, men are dogs, men can't control their hands or their eyes or their bodies. they're going to make a snide comment about you in the locker room, about your body, about how you're so fucking annoying. you're going to give him kids, and he will give you the money for the kids, and you're going to be running the house 24/7 - but he gets to relax after a long day, because his job is stressful. the man is on stage, and is a comedian, and says "women!"

and you are supposed to love that. you are supposed to love men through how horrible they are to you - because that's what women do. that's what good women do. wife material. your father even told you once - it'll make sense when you're older. it was like staring down a very lonely tunnel.

it feels like something's caught in your throat, but it's all you know, so. it's okay that you see sex as a necessary tool, a sort of okay-enough ritual to keep him happy, even though he doesn't seem to care about happiness as-applied-to you. it is relationship upkeep. it is kissing him and smiling even though he didn't brush his teeth. it is getting on your knees and looking up and holding back a sigh because he barely holds you as you panic through the night. it's not like the sex is bad and you do like feeling wanted. and besides! he's a man! like... they're another species. you'll never be able to actually communicate, right. he isn't listening.

you just don't get it. you don't feel that sense of i'm gonna climb him like a tree. mostly it just feels fucking exhausting. you play the part perfectly. you smile and nod and are "effortlessly" charming. and it's fine! it's alright! you even love him, if you're looking. you could have good life, and a good family, and perfectly happy.

in the late night you google: am i broken. you google i'm not attracted to my husband. you google i get turned on by books but not by him. you google how to get better in bed.

the first time he yells at you, it almost feels like blankness. like - of course this is happening. this is always how it was going to end up. men get angry, and they yell, and you sit there in silence.

you mention it to your friend - just the once - while you're drunk. she shrugs and says it's like that with me too, i just try to forget and move on. men are always gonna hear what they want to. pick your battles and say sorry even though he's in the wrong. you play solitaire online for a month. you go to your therapist appointment and preach about how you're both so in love.

after all, you have a future to want. nobody lied about it - how many instagram posts say marriage is hard. say real love takes work. say we fight like cats and dogs but the best part is that we always make up. how many of your friends say happy anniversary to the best and worst thing to ever happen to me. if you really loved him - loved yourself too - you'd accept that men are just different from you.

the first time she kisses you, it's on a dare at a party. something large and terrifying whips through your body. you wake up sweating from dreams where her mouth is encrusted with pearls and you pick them off one by one with your teeth. fuck. you sit at the computer and your almost-finished game of sim city. you think about your potential perfect life and your potential future family. you google am i gay quiz with your little hands shaking.

you delete each letter slowly. you don't need to love him. you just need to keep going.

#warm up #writeblr #this is also about being ace btw #my identity has slowly shifted over time and maybe if everyone is REAL cool i'll talk bout it #bc it's complicated and nuanced. but this is like #trying to warn u that if you find it “relationship upkeep” to have sex with ur partner #and don't actually enjoy it or seek it for urself. u might just not be attracted to them.#which is fine ! ace ppl can be perfectly happy in any relationship they feel good in!#but also i wasn't as straight as i had expected!#> the first time i saw dick i was like. huh. oh okay that's fine i guess #> the first time i saw pussy i was like. WAIT ACTUALLY HANG ON I GET IT #i just assumed sex wasn't all it was cracked up to be ya know #but also like. btw? this IS NOT saying ''u might be gay not ace''#bc tbh i'm grey ace/demisexual #it's saying u might not be into ur partner. explore urself & ur feelings. turn inward.#TAKE THIS IN THE MANNER IT WAS MEANT> GENTLE AND KIND #AND NOT IN A WEIRD INTERNET WAY PLEASE #bc the truth is that there ARE ppl who are gay who assume that they just ''don't like'' sex #and ace ppl who might need a different partner w/different needs #and i would have REALLY needed to hear ''check in w/urself about if u actually like sex''#WAY EARILIER in my life. but nobody said anything bc they assume if ur having sex. u like it.#not just the actual act of sex. not once ur turned on. do you ACTUALLY like it. or is it a burden?#even if ur gay. check w/urself. maybe ur more ace than u realized. in which case. ADDITIONAL FLAG BB #i love collecting my flags. i'm at like 354 at this point #but also btw this is about how toxic relationships are SO normalized that u can be in one #and have everyone around u being like ''THATS JUST MEN LOL''

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aaa-battery-not-rechargeable · 8 months

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we as a queer community don't talk enough about the reality that some people are forcibly outed.

i was forcibly outed and it is jarring and uncomfortable and i wasn't ready for it. it's emotionally violating, and you cannot ever go back into the closet.

the reality is, some people are just not safe, just not trustworthy, and don't actually value your well-being.

it shapes your experience in the world, especially for a young child to learn that someone they thought was trustworthy is not actually willing to protect them. it sets up the basis for fear, and denial, and repression. it cements in someone's brain that no one is to be trusted with your identity, and that you are somehow wrong.

it's never a good thing to tell someone to repress their identity, but the reality is that some people do not have queer safety in their minds. some people do not care.

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swords-and-aros · 6 months

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"You shouldn't teach teens aro and ace identities! What is they start identifying as ace instead of gay!"

Ah yes, how terrible indeed would it be for a teenagers to experiment with their identity

We all know that who we decide we are at 13 is who we end up being for our entire lives, regardless if it is authentic to our present selves

#queer #lgbtq+#gay #ace #aro #asexual #aromantic #aroace #lesbian #bi #community #questioning #experimenting #identity

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fluffyartbl0g · 11 months

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ANONYMOUS SUBMITTED

I love, love, LOVE your speedrun comic, expecially the parts with Ace losing his mind and ASL reuniting. I am VERY curious as to how, exactly, this gremlin crew of half-feral children managed to negotiate an alliance with Whitebeard. My bet is Luffy just went “rearranges reality until it’s more to his liking and everybody is left wobbling dazedly”. Also, the Whitebeard Pirates thinking “this explains SO MUCH about Ace”.

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hahah you got the “everybody is left wobbling dazedly” part right XD. here’s my answer to ur curious musings!!!

An alliance implies equal footing, and to have equal footing with the greatest pirate alive is not something to scoff at. So good job Whitebeard for scoring an ETERNAL friendship with the pirate king 👍!!!!

Time travel/Speedrun AU masterlist

#one piece #op fanart #time travel au #speedrun au #monkey d. luffy #portgas d. ace #roronoa zoro #usopp #asl brothers #sabo #whitebeard pirates #zoro is the only one here that has encountered ALL (3) brother thankings now. he’s gonna catch em all pokemon #btw sabo got his hat back cause karasu dropped it over #its part of his identity #o u mite be thinkin OI WTH IS BLACKBEARD DOIN HERE????#and ill b like. bruh. blackbeard is their nakama at this point in time he hasn’t actually done anything wrong even tho we all kno he’s scum #sabo is here and sabo will keep a disdainful look out. dw.#also i like blackbeard his character fascinates me…. he acts so chummy so easily yet his ideals are so untrustful….

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catsafarithewriter · 9 months

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v tired of coming out to ppl who are familiar and accepting of the aroace term, who then still turn around and say "yeah but you might still one day meet someone, right?" like I promise you most aspec ppl are aware it's an option, but it's still rude

I get you're trying to be supportive, but it still comes off as "don't worry, perhaps you're not really aroace/broken"

#work colleague: 'well i didnt find love until i was in my 30s'#okay but you still felt attraction??? you still knew you liked boys and girls from a young age??#ace #asexual #aro #aromantic #aroace #aspec #maybe one day i will meet someone!#but there's a good chance any 'romantic' relationship i get into will be more a qpp #you wouldnt go up to a straight girl and go 'perhaps you havent met the right girl yet'#why is it okay to backseat diagnose an aspec's identity?#i am. tired

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todayontumblr · 1 year

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Friday April 7.

International Asexuality Day (Director's Cut)

Well, better late than never.

We have a confession to make. The worldwide celebration of International Asexuality Day was April 6, 2023. The observant among you will notice that today is, in fact, April 7, 2023—one day off the mark. We hold our hands up here: we f*cked up. In any case, there's no time like the present, so we are going right on ahead with a one-day-late extravaganza here on Tumblr to celebrate the wonderful #asexual world, and pay our own little tribute to asexuality of all stripes under its umbrella, including demisexual, grey-asexual, and other ace identities. The glass-half-full among you will simply view it as a 24-hour bonus round which stretches IAD to an indulgent 48 hours of commemoration. This one is for you—if you will accept our apologies.

For now, however as we mark the day's events (the next day, admittedly) on Tumblr, the community continues to do what it does best: by providing us all with an all-hues-of-purple celebration of all things ace with thoughtfulness and humor. See for yourself over at #asexual.

#today on tumblr #ace day #IAD #international asexuality day #2023 #april 6 #april 7 #demisexual #grey asexual #ace #ace identities

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greenteaandtattoos · 4 months

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aphobes are just jealous. like, yeah, we live our lives outside the fundamental societal norm, even beyond the queer community. we're just that rad. you wish you could be like us. go throw a tantrum about it somewhere else.

#lgbtqia #queer #aromantic #aro #asexual #ace #demiromantic #demisexual #demi #frayromantic #fraysexual #aplatonic #apl #there are so many identities within the aro and ace spectrums #too many to tag #like i said #we're just that rad #fuck amatonormativity

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chrishangry · 27 days

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Let me just say as someone who hides a lot of myself in public how nice it is to see aroace and gender flux folks like me being unapologetically proud of expressing their nonbinary attraction and identity. I’m proud of you and I want to be like you when I grow up….even though I’m 35

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shmaroace · 1 year

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i'm going to be honest that yes i do love increased awareness of asexuality but i am so, so tired of having aromanticism purposefully ignored because "there's ace rep!!". asexuality and aromanticism are NOT the same thing and they both deserve representation and awareness outside of each other.

#aspec people are doing a fantastic job of celebrating asaw and doing aro-centered stuff #but anyone who isn't aspec is like ''oh ace?? aroace?? yes we love ace people :)''#NO!!!! NO!!!! stop making these two identities equal!!!!#aro #aromantic #arospec #ace #aroace #aspec #aromantic spectrum awareness week #asaw2023 #1k #2k #3k

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feelingthedisaster · 2 months

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i just love how aspecs are so present on tumblr. not only posts about being aspec, but in posts about literally anything else, you see the profile picture of the original poster/reblogger and it has a aspec pride flag on it

#we are everywhere #aromantic #aro #ace #asexual #aspec #arospec #acespec #aroace #aplatonic #other aspec identities im probably forgetting (sorry)#lgbtqia+

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aro-and-ace-memes-thoughts · 6 months

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It's kinda sad people accept more when I say "I'm not interested in dating" than "I'm aroace" (or similar). They assume the first one is temporary, they can't accept I'm not like them and not liking someone ever doesn't mean something's wrong with me

#hi I havent written stuff here for a while #the previous post I reblogged inspired this #lately my aroace identity has been a secondary characteristic about me #I barely think about it because it's such a passive thing #but yeah #I probably would talk about it more irl if people accepted more and it was more known #the I'm not interested in that stuff is good enough for me to say #and I only actually come out to those I trust the most #aromantic #aro #asexual #ace #aroace

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decolonize-the-left · 1 year

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Ive seen an influx in posts asking the LGBT community to hold itself accountable for ace/aro bigotry and they're fucking right.

How are we supposed to hold homophobes and transphobes accountable and demand they do better when we won't even do that for each other?

We're a community right? A family who's supposed to look out for each other? What happened to everyone being valid? Is a sibling saying "you hurt me, please correct it somehow" not valid?

For my part I'll admit I was part of this.

I was on the side of the asexual exclus back in the late 00's/early 10's. I was deep in the belief that oppression had to be systematic in order to count and at the time I didn't see any systematic oppression faced by aces. I even identified as ace and I didn't consider myself oppressed for being asexual. I saw the hostility and vitriol directed at aces everyday...but I didn't see it as wrong. I didn't see it as bigotry. I saw it as righteous anger.

I know how awful things were because I was one of the people making them that way. There is Real trauma that was experienced. There's no fucking way that a normal person could be invalidated that much and take the vitriolic bigotry aces/aros did everyday and have it not leave a lasting impact.

I fucked up. That was wrong and awful of me and I'm genuinely so fucking sorry.

I see the broken trust and promises between us now in 2023 and I see how shattered the community is and it's partly my fault. That gap is there because of me and people like me.

We should have loved and supported and welcomed you. We should have saw the way you were being treated and said something. You deserved to be protected and loved and supported from people who treated you that way.

And you weren't. We didn't. And it was normalized.

We absolutely fucking failed you as a community and as human beings. I need to own that. And I need to be one of the first people to trying to repair that.

And I know an apology is barely even a first step and I know it's just a drop in a giant bucket but I am sorry. For everything it's worth to you, I'm sorry.

Because of me and people like me you experienced the kind of identity trauma that typically only homophobes are capable of. And you experienced it at the hands of the community that's supposed to be fighting specifically that sort of ignorance against a-typical sexualities.

We fucked up

And it'd just be hypocritical salt in the wound if 10+ years later we ignored your asks for accountability and didn't do anything about it when it's resurfacing.

So yeah.

I was a bigot. I hurt people. I hurt my own community. I thought I was right and I wasn't. I was wrong. And so is everyone who insists on continuing that today.

There is no excuse or justification for it. I thought there was too but I was wrong and I'm gonna spend the rest of my life making up for it.

Whatever justification you find for treating people with a-typical sexualities and genders is shit. It has no leg to stand on and it sure as hell isn't being done for the sake of the community.

The LGBT community was founded not by people with checklists on how to be a Good Gay or Acceptable trans woman but by people being treated like shit for who they were choosing to love or not love. It was founded by people who's gender didn't fit in cishet boxes. It was founded by people who just wanted to be free to exist as themselves.

You can't treat asexuals or aros or bisexuals or pansexuals like shit and say that it's in the name of the LGBT community.

It's not.

It spits in the face of everything our community is supposed to be and it's time someone besides aces and aros said it.

None of us should be okay with how they're treated and all of us should be part of stopping it

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