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xoxo-teddybear · 3 years

Text

Bakugou’s daughter brings home a Boyfriend

Bakugou x wife!reader

Ft. Bakugou’s daughter

Warnings: fluff, lowkey Crack, sexual mentions, small angst, cursing, Bakugou being such a dad

BAKUGOU’S MASTERLIST

A/N: This is one of my favorite types of Bakugou. Domestic father Bakugou!! So bc of that fact, this piece was born. Hope you enjoy!

Bakugou as a boyfriend? Bliss. Bakugou as a fiancé? Heaven. Bakugou as a husband? Euphoric

Bakugou as a dad?.......he sure is something

Don’t get me wrong, Bakugou would be the ultimate dad

Baby crying in the middle of the night? Sleep love, daddy’s got it. Baby needs a bottle? He can warm it up with his hands. Baby’s feeling bored? Look at these mini fireworks in his hands!! Katsuki’s got it all

But that’s a baby Bakugou

Bakugou with a teenager

oOf

Katsuki’s teen will be either one of two things

His best friend

Or his mortal enemy (whom he still loves endlessly)

His 16 year old daughter, Katsumi, was both

And yes they loved each other very much, but they also got into battles on who could cook dinner better, who Y/N loved more, hell, when y’all came back from a restaurant THEY FOUGHT OVER WHO MADE IT TO THE FRONT DOOR FIRST

But this battle? Y/N might just let them Kill each other...just this once

——————————————————————————

“WHO THE FUCK IS THI-“

*SMACK* (thx Y/N)

“Daddy, this is Izuru! Izuru this is my lovely mother and that’s my shitty dad that I love so dearly!”

Katsumi definitely inherited her guts from the Bakugou’s

“Nice to meet you Mr and Mrs. Bakugou!”

Ah man, here we go

Silence. Pure, awkward, scary, silence. And of course Y/N’s nervous twitching HOPING that her dear husband doesn’t murder the green haired boy. As the young couple stand infront of the doorway smiling, the older couple is staring at them, one in nervousness, and the other in shock. (I’m talking Denki going 4 million volts shocked)

“Well.....Welcome Izuru! I knew you’d be coming over soon but I didn’t expect it tonight. It’s lovely to meet you,” Y/N ever so kindly said once she let out a sigh.

Her husband almost got whiplash from how fast he turned to look at her. “Knew?!? You knew about this kid?? And didn’t bother to tell me?!??”

“Well if I told you, you woulda stopped this meeting from happening ya jerk!” Y/N visciously explained.

“YA DAMN RIGHT CUZ-“ silenced with another smack from his wife. Y/N sure learned a lot from Mitsuki. “Please come in you two, I’ll start dinner.”

As the young couple sat in the living room speaking, the older one was in the kitchen preparing food. Well one of them was, the other was too busy burning a whole into the poor boy’s body with just his eyes.

*SMACK*

“Ow.” Continues to stare

“Suki stop that, you’re gonna scare the poor boy.” Y/N said.

“GOOD. I DONT WANT SOMEONE LIKE HIM CONTAMINATING THE BAKUGOU LINE!” The blonde dramatically yelled.

“Contaminating? Love, we don’t even know if they’ve had sex. I doubt he’s “contaminating” anything any time soon.” You said with attitude.

Bakugou just stared at you know with the same look.

“Hmph!” And turned to look back at the kids.

“HEY!” Bakugou screamed.

“Heyyyyy~” Katsumi replied.

“No not “Heyyyy~,” Katsuki began and replied with a girly impersonation of his daughter as he walk towards the couple. “I mean, HEY, as in have you had sex with this kid?” He sternly asked.

“KATSUKI OH MY GOD,” Y/N screamed as she dropped something in shock.

“.......Yeah, so what?” His daughter replied.

Y/N wasn’t even mad. She already knew. She could tell. Mother’s instinct I guess.

Katsuki was fuming.

“NOPE! NO! THIS RELATIONSHIP WONT GO ON! YOU’RE TOO YOUNG TO BE HAVING SEX!” The older blonde screamed while looking at the now blushing green haired teen and his rebellious daughter. And Y/N was just giving him this...look.

‘What a fucking hypocrite’ you thought to yourself.

“How old were you when you fucked mom?”

(ITS QUIET AINT NO BACKTALK)

Pure and utter silence.

Katsuki started stepping back from the couple while facing them and nodding his head. “.....use condoms,” and walked back to his deceased wife.

As dinner is placed on the table and everyone takes their seats, Katsuki can’t help but stare at this boy. Why does he seem so familiar?

Everyone just ate and talked. Grades, school, when did y’all meet, how long has it been? The usual. But Katsuki remained silent while thinking. And then..it clicked!

Katsuki slammed his hands on the table and stood up from his seat looking at the boy across from him. “What’s your last name?!”

Izuru was nervous because he was well aware of who Katsumi’s father was and how her father’s relationship with his own father was kinda iffy.

“M-Midoriya sir.” He nervously stated.

Katsuki saw red.

“DEKU?!??????!!!!!” He screamed

“Oh come on Katsuki! Like that wasn’t obvious!” You said rolling your eyes.

“There is NO WAY IN HELL I’m gonna let the Bakugou line be contaminated with Deku’s genes! Our family line only brings in the best of the best!” Katsuki proudly and loudly stated.

“So what am I?” Y/N asked.

“The best of the best! You were and are the perfect one for me Y/N! You know this, I know this, everyone knows this. And look at what we created-“ he was interrupted by his wife.

“A mini you?”

“A MINI ME! And who wouldn’t want that?!”

“Dad.” Katsumi said.

Now that caught Katsuki off guard. For the past 16 years, Katsumi has always been a daddy’s girl. She never called him “dad,” ew. She said “Daddy,” or “Shitty dad.” As Katsuki turned to his daughter he could see the look in her eyes.

“.......you really wanna be with this kid?” He asked.

“I really do.” Katsumi said while grabbing onto Izuru’s hand.

“...Ok then. You can be with him.” Katsuki calmly said.

Katsumi excitingly got up and ran towards her dad’s seat giving him a hug.

“Thanks daddy,” she said while giving him a kiss on the cheek.

Dinner continued on as normal as it could. Katsuki was just gonna have to learn how to let go.

Later

As the married couple got ready to sleep, Katsuki was hanging outside their balcony.

“What was up with you Blasty? I haven’t seen that kinda Katsuki since UA.” You jokingly said as you went to stand beside him.

“You’re not scared?” Katsuki asked.

“Of?”

“Katsumi. She’s growing up. She has a boyfriend now. That girl is having sex! She’s not daddy’s little girl anymore.” He sadly said.

“That’s what this is about? Katsumi growing up? Suki, this was always gonna happen. She’s in her prime teenage years. She’s 16! A lots gonna start happening.” You began.

“I know that but-“

“But nothing Katsuki. You can be scared of her growing up, I am too, but we can’t be so scared that we try and stop her. You just have to know that Katsumi will always come back to us no matter how old she is. And she will always, always be a daddy’s girl. Her entire world revolves around you Katsuki, but we gotta let her go at some point. We have to let her grow. That’s how the best of the best are made after all, right? It’s what we look for in a Bakugou.” You finished.

Katsuki couldnt do anything but smile. You were right. He knew you were. And he was willing to let his little cub grow.

“......You’ve gotta stop interrupting me when I talk.” He laughed.

“And you’ve gotta stop saying the dumbest shit in the world.” You teased back.

He pulled you in for a quick peck and just held you there in his arms. He was so glad he had you to keep him grounded. You’re the best of the best after all. It only makes sense.

“Daddy?” Katsumi walked into her parents room, unnoticed.

As the two broke the hug to see their daughter, looking a little timid, Katsuki spoke.

“Katsumi, hey princess. What’s up with you.” Katsuki asked as he walked towards his daughter.

“You’re not...disappointed in me, right? You know, for who I chose to be with. I’m sorry if I chose Izuru but I-“ this time, it was Katsuki who interrupted.

“Hey hey, no of course not baby bear. I would never be disappointed in who your true feelings pulled you to. I don’t want you to apologize for anything when today I caused most of the trouble.” Katsuki said while wiping one of his daughter’s stray tears.

“You know I’m never gonna leave you guys. Right? I’m gonna grow up but I’ll always want to have a close relationship with you and mom. I love you guys, and I’m not going anywhere.” Katsumi said.

“We know Katsumi. And we love you too. And we’re far from disappointed in you. We are so proud of the young woman you’ve become today.” Y/N joined in.

Katsumi ran to her mother and gave her the tightest hug, and Katsuki couldn’t help but stare at his two girls. His world. His entire reason for living. All right there in his arms as he pulled them in for a bigger hug.

“Thanks you guys. Well, I’m gonna head to bed. I’ve got a date with Izuru tomorrow and I don’t wanna be late.” Katsumi began walking towards her parents door until Katsuki called her.

“Hey baby bear,”

“Yeah?”

“Izuru. He seems alright. He’ll be good for you.” Katsuki admitted.

“Yeah. He really is. He’s the best of the best after all. Reminds me of someone I know.” Katsumi said while leaving the room.

Yeah. Katsuki will be just fine.

A/N: Sheesh. This kinda sucked but I did this in my literature class sooo....it’s still credible work since I was writing, right? Yeah..?....No?...yeah ok. Anyways, HOPED YOU ENJOYED IT BEAR CUBS🧸💗

P.S. THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR ALL THE LOVE AND SUPPORT!! And I PROMISE I’ll get better and produce more work. Feel free to leave requests!

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donald4spiderman · 3 years

Note

Ok hear me out. Spencer is dating Reader and she’s always hated that she’s been more chubby/curvy. And one night in the middle of a case she calls him crying and Spencer just gets really soft and calms her down after a bad nightmare. And his heart breaks cause his loving girlfriend hates her body. So Spencer plans this elaborate date and proposes maybe? You can decide if the team have met her or not. I’d like it to be the original team but if you wanna combine the original and new teams together that’s cool too!

no bc my body image issues have been rampant lately so this is personal as hell to me. I work out a lot and i’m fit but i’ve never been SKINNY like i have thick legs and muscular arms andnnfnfjndjnffn so this is personal.

I modified this a bit but it’s still the same premises hope you like it! ***BTW IN THIS UNIVERSE THE S3-7 CAST EXISTS FOR THE ENTIRE SHOW— SO THE LATER SEASONS HAVE MORGAN AND HOTCH.

also sorry this is a long

TW: body image issues, discussions of food & weight, insecurity, crying, kissing

WC: 1.5k

You know, pragmatically, that you have nothing to worry about. Spencer chose you. And for the past four years, Spencer has worshipped you every day— again and again. He is the most loving, considerate, and tender partner you could ever wish for. He is near perfection.

You’ve met Spencer's friends many times. You’re not close with either of your parents, so the team of profilers welcomed you into their arms with grace and care. Each and every one of them is beautifully amazing and exceptionally brilliant.

Spencer‘s friends are not only badass, but they’re also gorgeous. JJ, Emily, and Garcia are national treasures— so visually stunning it’s almost sickening.

You knew he used to have a crush on JJ way before he met you. You’ve also heard the tale of Lila Archer, the celebrity actress who made out with your boyfriend in a pool. Spencer’s had an eventful life, full of beautiful, sweet, magnificent women— so why does he choose you?

You view yourself as bland in comparison. What do you have to offer Spencer that he can’t find elsewhere? You don’t have toned abs, slim hips, and slender arms. You’re not striking in any way.

Spencer calls you every night when he’s away on a case. He’s never missed a call, even when he got shot in the neck and kidnapped by a murderous cult. He’s reliable and consistent, and that eases your worries a little bit.

It’s eleven pm in D.C. and your phone rings right as your getting in bed.

“Hi, my love,” Spencer says breathily, his voice slightly muffled by the phone. He’s away in Ohio for a case.

“Hey.” You reply, the sweetness in his voice soured by your mood. “How’s the case going?”

“Good. JJ and I are about to pass out in our beds— we’re so tired.”

You can’t help the way your face drops. “Oh. Well, get rest.”

Your about to hang up before he interjects. “Hey, what’s wrong?”

“Nothing. Why?” You know better than to lie to your boyfriend, who happens to be an expert on human behavior.

“Okay, I know a lie when I hear one. (Y/N), baby, what’s wrong?” He pleads.

You can’t help the tear that rolls down your cheek. “God, I’m sorry. I just miss you so much. You always know what to do when I’m feeling like shit.”

Spencer knows how much you struggle with self and bodily acceptance. He hates the world for making you feel anything less than incredible, both inside and out.

“I miss you too, so much, (Y/N).” His voice is thick as if he’s going to start crying too. “I love you so much, so fucking much. You have no idea how beautiful and amazing you are.”

“I don’t deserve you.”

“That’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard.” He laughs through a sob that wrecks his body. “You deserve everything in this world. I promise to give you everything you’ve ever wanted. You are the love of my life.”

You wipe the tears from underneath your eyes. “Sorry for keeping you up. You must be tired.”

“Never, if it means I get to talk to you.”

“I love you, Spencer.”

“I love you too, (Y/N). More than you’ll ever know.”

Spencer wakes up the next day with a newfound determination. The team solves the case as fast as possible, and by the end of the night, they’ve boarded the jet back home.

Spencer has more than enough hours to think about you and how much you mean to him. Hotch is seated directly across from him, rereading the case files.

“Hotch?” The wiser man looks up from his files, raising an eyebrow.

Spencer pauses for a moment. Maybe he’d be better asking Morgan or JJ for advice, considering Hotch’s tragic circumstances regarding Haley.

But no one loves like Hotch does-- sincerely, passionately-- stronger than anything else in the world. Spencer decides there’s no one better to ask.

“How uh did you know that Haley was the one?”

Hotch’s eyes soften for a bit. He clears his throat. “I knew since the day I met her that I would love her for the rest of my life unconditionally. She makes me complete. Do you feel that (Y/N) makes you complete?”

He already knows why Spencer is asking for his advice, steering the conversation in that direction.

“Yes. She’s my world.” Spencer whispers.

“Then it’s simple, really. Love doesn’t need to be complicated and precise. It’s what you do with it that matters.”

“I want to marry her, Hotch. I want to be with her for the rest of my life.”

Hotch smiles, “Then do it.”

Spencer feels the rush of excitement as he gathers everyone on the jet, including the prior sleeping passengers, filling them in on his big plans.

“I need all of your guys’ help.”

There’s a firm knock on your door at four in the morning. You know it isn’t Spencer because he has a key, but who could it be?

You take a cautious look out of your peephole to find Penelope, Emily, and JJ outside.

“What are you guys doing here?” You yawn. “For god's sake, it’s four am.”

“We know, and we’re sorry.” Penelope smiles.

“Is Spencer alright?” You ask, wondering if things suddenly went wrong during the case.

But by the joyous look on their face, you know nothing somber occurred.

“Spencer’s completely fine. But, we need to you to get changed and come with us. FBI’s orders.” JJ chuckles.

You change into warmer clothes in minutes, and the BAU ladies usher you into Emily’s car as fast as possible.

“So, no ones gonna tell me what’s going on?”

They shake their heads, “We’re just... running a quick errand.”

After a few more minutes of driving, Emily parks on the side of a dimly lit street.

“I need you to put this on.” She says, holding up a blindfold.

“Are you guys gonna murder me?” You joke, slipping the fabric over your eyes with little resistance.

“Quite the opposite, actually.” You don’t have time to think about what Penelope means before you’re being yanked out of the car.

You walk, guided by JJ, for four minutes. The grass beneath you crushes below your boots, and the hushed whispers of Emily and Penelope behind you do nothing to calm your nerves.

“Okay,” JJ says, halting to a stop. “You can take off your blindfold now.”

You hesitantly slip the blindfold off, revealing a brightly lit table in the middle of a secluded field. Morgan, Hotch, and Rossi are standing off to the sides.

Suddenly, Spencer emerges from behind a tree, dusting the leaves and dirt off his adorable sweater.

“Hi?” You laugh, utterly confused by this situation. “What’s going on?”

His hands are shaking, and he has to swallow a few times before he can speak. “I-I uh got y-you apple pie— uh your favorite.”

Spencer walks you towards the table, where a small slice of warm pie sits lonely on the table.

“Y-you should um... eat it.” He urges, pointing at the knife and fork next to it.

You glance around, trying to gauge the emotions of everyone around you, but fail. Stupid profilers and their poker faces.

Your fork cuts into the heavenly smelling pie, and you scoop up a bite into your mouth.

“It’s... good? I’ll pretty much eat any pie you give me, Spencer.”

He smiles, “I know that. But t-this is a special pie.”

“Okay...”

“You should t-take a closer look— at the pie.”

You inspect the dessert, completely puzzled until a glinting piece of silver catches your eye. Spencer notices the shock in your face and catches the plate that almost falls out of your hand.

Morgan hands him a napkin, and when Spencer pulls an apple-covered ring from the slice of pie, you almost faint.

“No way.” You gasp; tears spring to your eyes as Spencer wipes the ring clean.

He holds it tightly between two fingers, bending to kneel on one knee.

“(Y/N) (Y/M/N) (Y/L/N), I knew from the moment I met you that you were the most special woman I’d have the pleasure of meeting. A month later, you asked me out for our first date, and I couldn’t believe that someone as gorgeous and amazing as you would settle for someone like me.” You scoff at his humility.

“I spend every moment loving every part of you, (Y/N). None of my love will ever stop— ever. I promise to share my heart with you until the very end. There is absolutely no one I would rather be bonded to for the rest of my life. You are better than my dream girl because you’re real. You’re here, and you chose to love me every day— the good, the bad, and the ugly. (Y/N), will you do me the honor and great privilege of allowing me to become your husband?” You silently sob.

“Please say yes.” Spencer smiles.

“Yes!” You exclaim, pulling him up to hug him. “How could I say anything but!”

The dam breaks, and the entire team begins to cry as you and Spencer share a passionate kiss, almost collapsing down onto the grass from the sheer force of your love. He slips the ring onto your finger; it belongs there.

“I choose you, (Y/N).” He repeats.

“I choose you, Spencer, always.” You whisper into the crook of his neck.

Nothing’s ever felt so right.

#spencer reid #criminal minds #spencer reid smut #spencer reid fanfiction #sub!spencer #criminal minds fanfiction #spencer reid x reader #dr reid #criminal minds x reader #criminal minds smut #spence #spencer reid fluff #spencer reid angst #spencer reid fanfic

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okaymybeloved · 3 years

Note

can you do a txt as your best friend to lover trope? i love ur blog

txt best friend to lovers (´∀｀)♡

best friend to lovers!txt x reader

aaaa first txt req!! super excited about that, also thank you so much anon!! i’m glad my blog can give you joy :))) i hope you enjoy this!!

a/n: also sorry i was gone for so long,, i went on vacation hehe

soobin

you two were the quiet kids in the back of the classroom

unexpectedly, you guys started becoming good friends when your moms met each other at the farmers market

maybe they did that “go hangout with the other kid while we go and gossip”

kinda forced to be together for hours which in return, turned you two into best friends

+ more under the cut!

he brought you to the tree you guys usually hung out at after school

soobin kinda looked nervous and suddenly just bursted out

“y/n, i usually don’t do this but i really like you and i really hope i didn’t ruin the friendship oh god oh god bye”

literally sprinted away

it took you a minute to process what just happened but you chased after him

catching him, you gave him the biggest hug

“why’d you run away before i told you that i liked you too”

yeonjun

okay, not to be stereotypical but yeonjun was literally the it boy

you’ve always wondered why he’s stuck with you for this long, ever since elementary school

what’s funny is that everyone knew that yeonjun had some sort of feelings for you, everyone except you

he turns down every person who asks him out and always reports back everyone who asked him out

tbh you wondered why he would tell you all of this but didn’t think much of it

until you accidentally heard him turning down one of the most popular girls in school

“sorry, __ i actually like someone right now”

honestly it made you kinda sad hearing that since you didn’t think it would be you

quickly turning around, yeonjun grabs you by the wrist

“y/n. i know you heard what i said. come on, i’m taking you out on a date today”

you were shocked but accepted excitedly

beomgyu

choi beomgyu. your best friend from middle school. or as everyone else knows him as, the class flirt.

there has not been one person that he hasn’t flirted with

since you were his best friend, you got the worse end of the stick

it didn’t bother you much at first but admittedly, it has been bothering you recently

why did butterflies appear every time he called you cute? he’s been calling you that since middle school, why is it happening now?

you really couldn’t handle it anymore so one day you just blurted it out while he was actively flirting with you

“choi beomgyu, i can’t tell if you’re actually flirting with me or not. i like you and i really can’t handle this”

he looked so shocked but it was replaced with a bright smile

“oh my god finally y/n. i’ve literally been trying to flirt with you since middle school but you didn’t get the hint”

you blushed hard

“WHY DIDNT YOU TELL ME THAT YOUVE LIKED ME SINCE MIDDLE SCHOOL”

“I WAS NERVOUS”

“i really do hate you, beomgyu. now take me out before i kiss your stupid smile away”

he winked, “i wouldn’t mind that”

taehyun

you guys have been best friends for about a year

would tell each other everything, including things that were super personal

none of you guys have ever kept a secret from each other… well, until now

taehyun was generally very gentle with everyone, treating everyone with the same respect even if they were younger

however, you started noticing that he’s been completely going out of his way to be super gentle and respectful to you

since you were his best friend, it was a weird change to the usual chaotic taehyun

nonetheless, you ignored the butterflies you would get when he would help you with things

he asked you to go bike riding with him and you agreed

the bike ride ended up taking you to a small park where you both sat on the swings

both of you were sitting in a comfortable silence until he spoke

“y/n, i really like you. i’ve been thinking about it a lot recently and you are the best person i know. i cherish our times together and i hope we can spend even more”

call you a crybaby but just that alone made you cry

not even giving him an answer, you attacked him with a giant hug and small pecks all around his face

“hehe, you’re my boyfriend now”

hueningkai

y’all know the typical “childhood best friend” type thing? yeah, you guys were the living embodiment of that

you guys would spend so much time together, people automatically assumed that you guys were dating

both you and kai would insist that it wouldn’t work out and that you guys would be better off as friends but everyone knew that wasn’t true

the way he would always become super soft with you, the way your eyes always found him in a crowded room, the way your guy’s eyes sparkled when the latter’s name is mentioned

yeah, no way people didn’t think you guys were dating

honestly, you really wanted a relationship with kai

he was handsome, sweet, funny, smart, the whole package

kai thought the same thing, you were beautiful, hardworking, determined, and knew what you wanted

you were both pining at this point and your friends couldn’t handle it anymore

one day, they just locked you two into a room and threatened to not let you out until you talked to him

it was super awkward at first, no one wanting to make the first move

kai had enough and just straight up said

“i like you a lot , y/n. can we just get this confession over with and just date now. my heart can’t take this anymore”

you laughed bc that was the most hilarious way to confess

“fine then. we’re dating now, love”

hearing the pet name made his heart skip a beat

seeing you both walking out hand in hand, your friends silently high fived each other

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spacebarnes · 3 years

Text

stay ✧ t.holland

summary; the last show of your tour it's coming, but someone it's not.

warnings; language, mentions of cheating, angst, crying, sadness(?

a/n; ugh, this shit it was so difficult to write bc i feel like having some kinda of mental block so yeah; it's inspired in a lyric of a song that i saw on tiktok; may do part two about this bc why not. as always english it's not my first language so sorry about the mistakes. requests are open!! send some and take care <3 (not my gif)

°•°•°•

the relationship between you and Tom was difficult, because he was constantly traveling to record and you to be able to give concerts. Tom was back from finishing recording three weeks ago, although you hadn't seen him for the last shows on your tour

the last show was in London and most of your friends would be there, supporting you at the close of your tour. you were concentrating on how well everything was going, thinking that Tom was in the audience, or at least he were in the after party.

every time a song started, you tried to look for Tom's face, you hadn't seen him and the fact that you didn't find him either made you feel somewhat uneasy.

"thank you London!" you gave one last shout when the last song ended, thanking the audience and running backstage to meet some of your friends.

"get it, girl!" Sam immediately scooped you up in his arms. he was your best friend and thanks to him you met your boyfriend. "you we're amazing out there! like, burning the stage!"

"where is Tom?" you asked when you didn't see him around, immediately the smiles faded a bit and the atmosphere fell silent.

"'m sure he's going to the pube, coming?" Harrison told you and you nodded, making a sign that you would go to change so that you could be more comfortable.

"where is Tom?" Harry asked in a serious voice once you got out of their sight. Harrison just lifted his shoulders as a sign that he didn't know.

"Tuwaine went looking for him at the apartment," Sam recalled, turning on his phone to see if he had a message from his friend. "he hasn't said anything yet."

"do you really think he forgot?" Harry asked and the atmosphere turned awkward. "he can't"

"at this point, I don't know anything," Harrison tapped the bridge of his nose to let out some stress. "you've heard how he has complained about their relationship in these weeks." you weren't aware of it, but Tom was constantly complaining about the relationship you two had. he had said that he did not know if he wanted to continue for the little time you two shared together. you two made daily video calls, yes, but it wasn't enough and you knew that.

"well, he's gonna be a piece of shit if he don't show to the party at least." Sam commented in an angry tone, slapping his friends when he saw you start to get closer.

"ready to go, miss?" Harry held out his arm to you and you laughed at this, before leaving the place to go to the pub.

°•°•°•

If you were honest, you did not enjoy the after as much as you thought. Tom had not shown up all night, Tuwaine said that Tom was not at his apartment and was not answering his phone.

"thank you for coming, love you, babe." you said goodbye to one of the last people who were at the party, when you saw that she left through the glass door immediately your eyes began to fill with tears. Sam quickly put down the crystal glasses he was collecting and walked over to you.

"hey, hey, what's wrong, love?" he asked with concern, already knowing the answer.

"you know, Sammy," you started sniffing and watched as the others began to approach you. "it's been really hard to keep all my shit together, i really miss him all the time and i just wanted to see him at the show or at least here, but he didn't come."

"I'm sure that he's at home with a surprise to you." Harry tried to cheer you up, running his hand over your shoulder.

"you don't get it, Harry," you lifted your gaze to connect with his, your eyes red from the tears you had shed. "he hasn't told me he loves me in weeks, sometimes he didn't answer my calls," Sam began to feel a lump form in his throat, he didn't know if it was because it hurt to see you like this or because of the anger that felt with his brother. "you know, i don't think he loves me anymore. maybe he has another girl, someone who can be at home all the time" that was the only sentence that you had to say to break something in the inside of Sam, what happen to his brother who always said how in love he was with you?

"I'm gonna call the uber so we can get out of here." Sam announced and pulled out his phone, squinting as the light from the screen hit him.

"I don't wanna see Tom," you grabbed his arm, forcing him to look at you. "let's go to a hotel, please." you begged him.

"you don't have to see Tom or talk to him if you don't want to," Tuwaine quickly said and began to run a hand through your hair to relax you. "you can sleep in my room and i'll sleep in the couch, it's fine." you nodded and thanked him, with that, Sam left the establishment to order the uber, however, his fingers moved towards his contacts, looking quickly for his brother's. after the fifth tone, the voice of Tom reached his brother's ears.

"hello?"

"where the fuck are you?" he asked quickly, not giving him time to speak again.

"in the house, where are you and all of the divs?" he asked without understanding what was happening, Sam could hear the alcohol in the voice of his brother.

"do you know what day it is today?" he asked, knowing the stupid answer he would give him.

"um, friday?" he replied in a doubtful tone. "I don't understand, Sam, tell me what's going on."

"where were you three hours ago?" he asked again, completely ignoring his brother.

"Sam-"

"answer the damn question, Thomas." he hissed, losing patience. Tom let out a sigh before answering.

"my friend told me he was going to have a little party, so I went to have fun for a while, happy?" when he stopped speaking, his brother clicked his tongue as he shook his head without his being able to see him.

"wow, I can't believe you."

"what?" the brunette asked through the phone. "okay Sam, tell me what the hell is going on, I don't get it." he ordered, tired of getting no response.

"today was y/n's last show, here, in London," when his brain processed his information, he cursed under his breath. "she really expected you to be there, you know, as a supportive boyfriend."

"where is she now?" he asked not knowing what to do. "Sam, tell me now!"

"slow down and don't yell at me, I'm not the one who forgot the most special show to his girlfriend," he said in an annoyed tone, almost shouting in the middle of the stool. "we're going home right now, and she doesn't want to talk to you. so when we get home, you better be in your room." before Tom could protest, his brother hung up on him.

the vehicle arrived in a few minutes, Sam, Harry and you left in one, while Tuwaine and Harrison requested another. you wanted to stop crying but you couldn't, the pain I felt just took over everything else. there was no daily post on Instagram, you had not been able to enjoy the party, there was no more you happy.

you rested your head on Sam's shoulder while you tried to calm your labored breathing due to the crying you had let out a few minutes ago. your head began to throb from the tears that had come out of your eyes, little by little you fell asleep. Harry gave Sam a look when he noticed that your eyes were closed and your chest rose and fell calmly.

"i can't believe that he do that shit." Sam said in a low tone but with clear anger.

"you know, maybe it was the stress of filming." Harry tried to calm things down, Sam denied at this sentence.

"he finished recording three weeks ago and the only thing that he does it's talk bullshit about his relationship," his hand was running through your hair so you could rest better, and hopefully, you won't get up to see Tom. "she just doesn't deserve this."

"but we can't do anything about it, Sam", the one with curls kept talking and focused his gaze on you, you looked so calm compared to how you were a while ago. "it's not our relationship."

"but she is my best friend."

"and Tom is your brother", his twin told him and he frowned. "I'm not defending him, I'm just saying that we should stay out of this."

"whatever"

the car was parked and Harry took you in his arms carefully so as not to wake you up, Tuwaine and Harrison still haven't arrived. Sam put the key in and turned it so his brother could come in and lead you into a room.

"where do I put her?" Harry asked, pushing the door as best he could.

"in Tuwaine's room". he answered him and shifted his gaze to his other brother, who was sitting in an armchair in the living room. he closed the door before approaching.

Tom saw how Harry went upstairs with you asleep, your makeup was smeared and he could notice your chapped lips, which only happens when you are very nervous and cry for a long time.

"Sam, i-" Tom got up and tried to talk to his brother, but he raised his finger and put it in front of him.

"don't," he said as he turned and left the keys in the kitchen. "it's not me you owe an apology to. Good night."

°•°•°•

the sun's rays began to penetrate the curtains of the room. you stirred in bed when you felt the light on your eyelids, when you felt it, you quickly realized that you were not in your room, because your curtains were blue and not white.

slowly you sat on the bed, your body ached and you noticed that you were wearing gray pants and that you were only in bra, you were confused by this. you took your cell phone that was on the small nightstand, you noticed that it was connected to the charger and that it had 100%, when did this happen? a notification from Harry was taking all the screen and you opened the message quickly.

all of us we left the house so that you and Tom could talk, also, i tried to put on a shirt but you push me away on your sleep, so i left you like this, i hope i didn't bother you ://

you responded with a 'thank you' due to his sweet action and forced yourself to get out of bed. you didn't want to do it, you didn't want to see or talk to him. you didn't know why he hadn't been to your show or party yesterday, but because of how angry Sam looked when he "asked for the uber" you could imagine something

you slowly dragged your bare feet into Tuwaine's closet and you opened it so you could grab any shirt and put it on. it smelled good, but it wasn't the smell you were used to.

everything felt very sad, the house was silent and you were destroyed. you missed the mornings where Tom would wake you up with two quick kisses on each cheek to let you know that breakfast was ready, no thanks to him, but it was ready.

took a deep breath before putting your hand on the cold knob and turning it to be able to leave the room, mentally preparing yourself for what was coming, but, no one is ready for a breakup, even tho, you didn't know yet.

the familiar smell of tea reached your nose faster than you expected, you didn't close the bedroom door and started walking down the hall to the kitchen, where you saw him. your eyes noticed something very noticeable on his neck, but you didn't say anything.

"y/n," Tom said in a soft whisper as he turned and saw you standing in front of him. "do you want a cup?" he asked, trying to stretch out the time.

"don't do that and let's just go to the point." you shook your head and he nodded, pressing his lips back to the cup with the hot liquid. "why you weren't there?"

the environment was silent at this question, he wanted to speak, but did not know what to say. he did not know that it would hurt you more, that he did not remember or lie to you to look good.

"great," you sighed, deciphering the answer. "thank you for remembering."

"let me explain." he wanted to speak and tried to get closer to you, but you backed off.

"explain what? that you're a shitty boyfriend?" you asked and crossed your arms in front of your chest, feeling how your vision began to blur due to the tears that began to form. "believe, yesterday that was very clear to me." you walked around it until you got to the fridge so you could get the milk out.

"I'm not a shitty boyfriend," he kept talking, but you ignored him. "it's just that- I'm stressed." he ran his hand over his neck to make it look more believable.

"wow, Thomas," you put the milk carton next to the mug and turned to face it. "I have to say, to be an actor, you act like shit trying to make your excuse credible."

"it's not an excuse!"

"the smell of alcohol in your shirt says otherwise," you raised your eyebrows and turned to put the milk away, swallowing dry before speaking again without looking at him. "and you have a hickey, I'll guess it's not mine because we don't have sex like four months ago." at this point your "boyfriend" didn't know what to say

"look, I'm so sorry about it," he started to speak and grabbed you by the cheeks, a few inches from your lips to connect. "I know I have a hickey and all, but-"

"you still love me?" you cut him off, taking him by surprise, leaving him frozen for a moment. "but like for real, do you still do it?"

"yeah, baby of course. what kinda question is that?" he nodded frantically as his thumb wiped away one of the tears that ran down your face.

"then why you didn't go?" you asked, in your eyes you could see all the pain that you held. "why you kissed with some other girl? i'm not enough, Thomas? do you need someone who can be there all the time?" Tom swallowed when these questions reached his ears, he didn't know what to say at all.

"no, no, what are you saying?" he asked in disbelief and the grip on your cheeks tightened a bit as his eyes also began to fill with tears. "I really love you, y/n, you're the whole reason about everything." he assured you.

"i am?" you asked and raised an eyebrow. you removed Tom's hands from your face and wiped away some tears with your palms. "we can't be together anymore." his jaw clenched at this.

"what? you're not serious," he denied immediately and watched as you left the kitchen, leaving the cup of milk in the kitchen counter. "darling, c'mon."

"don't 'darling' me," you replied and he was speechless, he never thought that the day of the two of you break up would come so soon. "you cheated on me and you didn't go to my last show, do you know how many tweets there will be from all this? Thousands, Tom, thousands."

"so what about it?"

"you don't get it, do you?" you crossed your arms and leaned against the wall, he denied. "everyone's gonna talk about my fucking stupid boyfriend that forgot my show and made out with someone else."

"stop saying that!" he yelled with some anger, he didn't like you repeating over and over the mistakes he made yesterday. "please, stop."

"I'll stop," you assured him and nodded. "because we're done." this last sentence echoed a lot in his head, and he thought TOO MUCH what he was going to say next.

"fine, i'm fucking leaving." he gave you one last look and started walking towards the room that you two shared. you let out all the tears that you were holding back when you saw that he entered the room.

"it's not like you ever tried to stay." you said in a last breath and forced yourself to go to the room of somebody else to wait there until all the boys come house, just to find out that Tom it's leaving

#fanfic #marvel #oneshot #tom holland #tom holland imagine #tom holland x reader #tom holland angst #tom holland fluff #tom holland smut #tom holland x fem

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jonahlovescoffee · 3 years

Text

Multitasking | J.M.

a/n: kinda cringe? idk but i don’t wanna let it stay in my drafts either so yeah lol happy reading <3

summary: you wanted jonah’s attention and he’ll give it to you, even though he’s on a phone call.

warnings: smut without coitus bc i’m lazy to write that part-

word count: 3040

“Jonah, your lovely girlfriend is here,” you chirped happily when you entered his house a spring in your step, excited to finally be able to spend some alone time with him, something you hadn’t done lately because of him being busy with all the necessary preparations for the new album’s release while your schoolwork had been taking up too much of your time. However, your face fell immediately when you were greeted with the sight of him on his phone, chatting away with someone. It was supposed to be just the two of you today making full use of the rarely empty house. His face lit up when he saw you, but he made no move to end the call. You nudged your head towards his phone with your arms crossed in front of your chest, urging him to end it or else you’ll choose to end him instead.

“Just one more second, I promise,” he told you, pulling you down to give you a quick kiss in a weak attempt to wipe the evident scowl off your face. “It’s important.”

You rolled your eyes and plopped down on the empty seat next to him. “Fine, but make it quick,” you prompted, taking your phone out to hopefully find some ways to entertain yourself for the time being. He wrapped an arm around you in a silent apology, which you responded with laying your head on his shoulder as he continue talking.

“Yeah, y/n just came over,” he said and you heard a vaguely familiar voice speaking from the other side of the phone, but the sound was too muffled for you to decipher it into coherent words. “Daniel, we can talk about your music ideas another day.”

You internally groaned when you heard the name of your friend’s boyfriend and the mention of music ideas because you knew Daniel long enough to know that it always took ages for him to finish rambling about all his new musical creations. You usually wouldn’t complain about that because you were a huge music buff yourself and having the chance to discuss music with someone as enthusiastic as him was a gift from god but he should know that now wasn't the right time to do so.

Another reply came from the other end of the phone. Jonah seemed to hesitate for a while before offering an answer this time, glancing sideways at you to make sure that you weren’t about to explode with anger. You sighed but sent him a soft smile and he mouthed a silent “you’re the best” in return. “Okay, okay, let’s hear it then,” his hand found yours and gave it a light squeeze.

You scrolled through your chat log to find Emily’s contact, before sending her a message to ask for help. Is there any way you can shut your boyfriend up? Because he is stealing mine from me.

A reply came mere seconds later. LOL I’ll see what I can do.

Just when you were about to thank her, your phone vibrated and another message from her appeared on the screen. Fuck. The studio door is locked and I forgot where he keeps the keys.

You swore the next time you saw Daniel, you were going to hurl all six feet of him into the pool and make him drown. Wow, I can’t believe my luck today.

Don’t be such a whiner. You can try to make Jonah pay attention to you instead ;) She suggested and an idea popped into your head right away.

Have I ever told you how much I love you?

Ahh I love you more bb <3 was the last reply from her before she went offline, the green dot beside her profile picture disappearing.

You put your phone back into your bag and turned towards your boyfriend to find him still deeply engrossed in his conversation. You shrugged his arm off you and moved your body to assume the position on top of one of his thick muscular thighs, facing him. He raised an inquisitive brow. You wrapped your arms around his middle and nuzzled into his neck, inhaling the alluring scent of him that did nothing but fed your lust.

“I want you so bad,” you whined softly, earning a stroke of your hair from him, his hand subsequently sliding downwards to rest at the small of your back, his touch leaving a trail of goosebumps down your spine.Your hands did their own exploring too, your fingers tracing the curves and edges of his shoulder blades down to his biceps, humming in satisfaction at all the new muscle you found beneath your fingertips. He hadn’t been joking when he told you that he had been working out a whole lot more lately. The more of him that you felt, the more uncomfortable your southern region became.

Jonah felt it all—the heartbeat between your thighs, the wetness that seemed to be soaking through your pants, the subtle grinding of your body against his thigh, and how the member in his pants seemed to awaken at your movements. Suddenly Daniel’s words through the phone didn’t seem to make sense when they entered his brain that was currently a complete mess. He put his phone away for a moment to whisper into your ear, “Look at you, can’t even go a few minutes without wanting something, huh, baby?” His voice was husky and deep, exactly the way you loved it, and you almost came from the sound alone. He used his hand to help you rock harder against his thigh, urging you to speed up which you did willingly, finally able to relieve some of the pain from your core.

Your whimper was enough to answer his question. He kissed the tip of your nose. “Ride my thigh, sweetheart,” he ordered, brushing a thumb over your lips. “But be a good girl for me and be as quiet as you can, okay?”

You nodded obediently and he returned to his phone call like nothing ever happened. You bit your bottom lip forcefully in order to prevent moans after moans from escaping as you, the friction between your clit and his thigh putting your mind in a blissful daze. “Fuck…” you breathed near his ear, the sound taking him by surprise making him stop talking mid-sentence, hazel eyes glancing to the side to see your half-lidded eyes and lip that was colored in a shade of bright red from sinking your teeth into it too hard, completely forgetting what he was planning to say to his friend.

“Jonah?” Daniel’s voice sounded, snapping Jonah back to his senses.

“Yes? wait a moment bro, got something to settle first, be right back,” he said, placing his phone on the armrest of the couch to focus on you. “Feels good baby?”

“Uh huh,” you said, not expecting him to bounce his knee in a steady rhythm afterwards with so much vigor that you instinctively moved your hands to his shoulders to steady yourself, rolling your hips as you ground yourself down on him hungrily. Feeling your greedy little hole clamping down around nothing as you felt your climax nearing.

“What about now?” he drawled, chuckling darkly when you started to let all sorts of whimpers and mewls fall from your lips. “Tell me, pretty little slut, how good I’m making you feel,” he lifted a hand up to your face to trace your jaw tenderly. Once. Then twice. Then replacing his touch with his lips.

“So fucking amazing, Jo,” you could barely get the words out as you unabashedly ground yourself down against him, eyes rolling to the back of your head at the overwhelming sensation, gasping in surprise when his palm moved to spank your ass. The movement made you grind against his firm thigh perfectly as you forgot his earlier warning to stay quiet and cried out.

“Shh, keep it down, baby,” he coaxed, his lips curving into a smirk as he beheld your desperation to chase your high, each of your movements getting sloppier than the last. “He can still hear you, you know?”

Another whimper. “I...I’m close, Jo,” you managed to say before grabbing fistfuls of his shirt and burying your face in the crook of his neck, though the movement of your hips remained unfaltered.

He tilted his head a little to press a kiss into your hair. “Cum for me all over my thigh, sweetheart.”

Jonah’s husky voice was the catalyst you needed to send you hurtling over the edge, feeling that coil inside you snap as your orgasm washed over you, his name spilling from your lips in a loud cry, your toes curling as you were completely engulfed in ecstasy. His grasp on your waist remained strong as he continued bouncing his knee, slightly slower than before, not allowing you to move back as he kept grinding your cunt against him, letting you ride out your high. “Shh, you’re getting too loud, baby,” he placed a finger on your lips when you continued moaning his name repeatedly as your puffy clit got overstimulated, although he absolutely loved the way his name rolled off your tongue like a prayer. He felt a certain something straining harder against his designer jeans, yearning to break free.

“Look at what a mess you made because you couldn’t wait for me to finish my phone call,” he tisked disapprovingly, his gaze dropping to his thigh, his hooded hazel eyes looking between your bodies at the darkened wet stain you had left against said jeans with glee, even more when he saw your pants that were utterly soaked with your release. He stopped bouncing his knee then, earning a dissatisfied whine from you. “Enough of thigh riding, sweetheart, your pants are ruined,” he grabbed his phone and released his grasps on you before whispering, “Now turn around. Let me help you get them off you.”

You did as he told, your back now leaning against his chest as he pushed your pants down, followed by your panties and you kicked off both of the garments when they pooled at your knees. He raised his phone towards his ear as his other hand glided over the swell of your hips to your front, his knuckles brushing over your core gently. He started drawing slow circles over your clit with the pads of his fingers, causing you to arch your back into him more.

“Nah, it’s nothing serious. Wes just broke another glass again, that’s all,” he lied to his best friend, the pace of his fingers increasing as he put more pressure on your clit, making you a squirming mess in his arm. Unable to keep you steady with only one arm around you, he put his phone on speaker mode and placed it back onto the armrest before sliding the now free arm around your waist.

“You sure? Because I heard...umm...something and it sounds nothing like shattering glass,” Daniel stated, but Jonah remained pretty unfazed unlike you whose breath caught in your throat immediately, dreading the possibility of getting caught. However, all your worries were immediately forgotten when he dragged a finger ever so gently up your glistening folds that were already slick with your juices. You instinctively rolled your hips against his finger, yearning for as much friction as he could offer.

“Then you must’ve heard wrong. Now, where were we?” Jonah said nonchalantly before sliding a finger into you and your jaw fell slack as you moaned at the sudden intrusion. He pumped his finger slowly to stretch you out but you weren’t content with it. You wanted more so you let your hand travel to your bundle of nerves but before you could do anything, he grabbed your wrist with his free hand. Words didn’t need to be conveyed between the both of you for you to get his message just from the look he gave you that clearly said he didn’t want you to interfere.

“Okay, so I thought of this melody…” you tuned them out, solely focusing on the overwhelming pleasure that he gave you with nothing more than a finger and before you knew it, you could feel your walls clenching harder around it that continued to thrust in and out of you non-stop as he maintained a casual conversation with his best friend.

“Nngh, Jonah,” you whined, “Faster, faster, gosh.”

“Quiet,” he whispered sternly between his sentences just as he slipped another finger into you and you bit his neck on instinct to stifle your moans, making him groan right in the middle of their conversation.

“What the actual fuck was that?!” Daniel exclaimed in horror.

“Nothing,” he shot you a glare but your eyes were screwed shut with pleasure so you couldn’t see it. “But I really really have to go now, bro, I’m so sorry.”

“Wait a minute,” Daniel said just as Jonah’s finger hovered inches above the red end-call button. “Is y/n there with you? Like right next to you?”

“Yeah, so?”

“Please don’t tell me you guys were...umm...doing it while you were talking to me because the weird sounds kinda sound like,” an obvious gulp. “Her.”

“Daniel what is wrong with you today? First you hear weird noises then now you’re trying to accuse me and my girl for having sex while I’m on the phone with you? Well lemme tell you something, Daniel,” Jonah’s fingers thrusted into you quicker, matching the swift pace of his thumb that was furiously rubbing your clit, making you a writhing mess on his lap. Soft moans left your lips since you were unable to compress all of the sounds that threatened to escape.

“Y/N and I would never,” He slammed his fingers knuckles deep into you. “Ever,” His fingers curled inside you and you sucked in a shaky breath. “Do something like that,” He started doing patting motions, hitting all the right places, almost making you scream as your eyes rolled to the back of your head in ecstasy, unable to focus on anything else save for the overwhelming pleasure that he gave you. “Right, love?”

He has to be joking. He can’t seriously expect you to—

“Open your mouth and talk, baby,” Jonah’s voice was soft but authoritative when he spoke into your ear, a smirk present on his face. He knew that it was nearly impossible for you to do anything, especially talking, when you were so close to your climax but all in all, he was still someone who loved testing and pushing you past your limits.

“Yes...I...we,” you stuttered as you whimpered softly after each word, his fingers never stopped working their magic inside you. He placed kisses all the way up to your ear from your shoulders before starting to nibble your earlobe. You couldn’t search for the right words to say, let alone speak without giving away the fact that you and Jonah were indeed doing it while having his conversation with Daniel. “We are not doing anything,” you got all your words out in one breath, a little too fast for them to sound extremely convincing but still good enough for Jonah to give you an approving hum.

“Good girl,” Jonah cooed, his voice alone making your entire body tingle with pleasure. “Now end the call,” he attached his lips onto the sensitive spot under your ear, nibbling and sucking it softly, pushing another moan out of you.

“But—”

“No ‘but’s, baby,” a kiss on your shoulder again. “You don’t want me to not let you cum, do you?”

You couldn’t find the energy in you to argue with him, not when release was threatening to spill out of you.

“Bye, Daniel,” you said breathlessly.

“Just so you know, I still don’t believe that—”

“I said bye, Daniel,” you cut Daniel off before he could continue rambling about not trusting your words, reaching over to Jonah’s phone to end the call.

Jonah smiled when the screen of his phone turned black but his following words were nowhere near happy.

“Such a good girl, aren’t you? Always so obedient when you want me to give you what you want,” he snarled. “But what about just now, hmm? You were so loud, so impatient, always wanting more than what I gave.”

“So do you think you deserve to cum, dear?”

“Sorry, it just felt too good,” you whimpered, already on the verge of tears, when you felt the knot in your stomach tightening. “I won’t behave like this again, Jo so please—“

He pressed his lips onto yours, cutting your pleas off with a brief kiss. “Alright, I’ll let you off the hook just this once. Let it all out now, baby.”

And just like that, you released for the second time all over his thigh and he took his fingers out of you and licked them clean, groaning at how wonderful you tasted. “Fuck, you taste so good. It's totally worth ruining my jeans for this.”

“But I wanna taste yours too,” you whined and he smirked.

“Hmm,” he laid you down on the couch and crawled over you, a hand already at the zipper of his pants to pull it down. “Think you’re still able to take my dick?”

“Always,” you yanked him closer by the front of his shirt, wanting to bring his lips to yours but before your lips even touched, a series of meows sounded suddenly.

Both of you turned towards the source of the sound simultaneously to find Wes standing at the corner of the living room, staring at you both intently with his wide, curious cat eyes.

“You know what? Maybe we should do this elsewhere,” you gave a suggestion with an uncomfortable grimace.

He zipped his pants before moving back into a sitting position, which you mirrored. He patted his lap and you went to sit on it right away. “Or,” a teasing grin was plastered on his face as he wiggled his eyebrows playfully at you. “We could ask Wes to join in too.”

“WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT YOU PSYCHOTIC PERVERT!” you screamed in disgust and hit him with the couch pillow you grabbed from beside you.

taglist: @chilling-seavey @neralondon @mia-marais @randomlimelightxxx @hopinglimelight @kvd963 @cutiebandlover202 @savspersonalproperty @slowdownatthelotusinn @angelzacharyy @freakshows199 @my-fangirling-outlet

#wdw #why dont we #corbyn besson #daniel seavey #jack avery #jonah marais #why don’t we #zach herron #wdw imagines #jonah marais imagines #jonah marais x reader #jonah marais smut

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ackerfics · 3 years

Note

hi! i don’t know if you’re taking requests but if you are would you be interested in a soulmate au with mikasa. i adore soulmates au a lot! mikasa x fem!reader (aot cast reincarnated into the modern world and they get to have a happy and not stressful life)

she is half of my soul, as the poets say — mikasa ackerman

— mikasa ackerman x female reader (soulmate au)

— warnings: none, just fluff

— summary: you finally found each other.

— word count: 3.2k

— author’s notes: thank you so much for the request !! i hope you enjoy reading this because i had a blast putting this all together. plus, i couldn't help but place a quote from 'the song of achilles' bc that was a masterpiece.

Underwater.

Your surroundings were submerged in the depths of the ocean to you.

The professor in front of the lecture hall continued his lesson in a cacophony of white noise. The occasional flipping of textbooks and the clacking of the keyboard droned, a majority of the students tried taking down what the middle-aged man was reciting. You should be doing those, too, but there was something about your day that made you want to skip class and bury yourself in a mound of blankets. The air-conditioning wasn’t helping at all, it just made you drift away, even more, images of flying people and humanoid giants flickering through your mind. Even your vision was becoming blurry as you stared at the seat in front of you, not noticing how your Ethics professor dismissed your class with a reminder of the paper that was due the following week. You were still seated as most of the students stood up, eager to spend the rest of their day inside their dormitories and apartments.

“[Name].” Somebody called out to you but the raw feeling of swinging in midair acted like a bubble, keeping you from going back to reality. The voice groaned in frustration at your lack of response. “Earth to [Name]! Hey, wake up!”

You shook out of your stupor with a blink, turning your head slowly at the person waiting for you. You took in her casual attire, so different from the daydream you were in. At first, you didn’t know about your whereabouts, making you look around the lecture hall — empty except for the two of you and the professor at front. The feeling of confusion once again dominated your sound mind as you breathed out, “Where am I? I thought I was just outside in this desert and I was surrounded by people who were crying like they were a hopeless case. Then there was someone screaming my name, saying they wouldn’t let me go.”

The person pursed their lips, concerned and slightly creeped out at the nonsense coming out of your mouth. There weren’t any deserts near you right now because you two were in the middle of the city, inside a university. The way you phrased those words sounded like a plot from an apocalyptic movie you were bound to binge during academic breaks. There were accounts scattered around the internet about reincarnation that the person drank in the early hours of dawn when they couldn’t go to sleep but witnessing it in front of them, was another whole level of conspiracy theories. A hand was planted on your shoulder, your friend smiling sympathetically at you, knowing that you sometimes have these episodes inside your shared apartment. The look you gave them was enough to erase the wariness bubbling in your friend’s stomach, which spurred them to gather your things and placing them inside your backpack. Your friend worked in silence, however, they were aware of the stare you never took off from the side of their head.

“In case you don’t remember me,” your friend looked up at you with a twinkle of mischief in their irises, “I’m Hitch and I’m your roommate.” She was speaking to you as if you were a toddler, something that made annoyance tickle your chest.

“Hitch?” You mumbled, looking down on your lap for a solid minute until you gasped out loud, the sound echoing inside the lecture hall without any warning. The professor looked up from his seat, glare already in place at the disruption you caused. You buried your face in your hands, face erupting in hues of red because of the embarrassment creeping in your throat. “Oh, my God, don’t tell me I did it again.”

Hitch nodded with a shrug. “I mean, I’m used to your episodes but it always amazed me how you wake up from them all disoriented.” Finishing with her task of tidying your bag, she pulled on your arm. “I think I should record whatever you say next time, this could be my viral moment.” When you gave her a dry glare, she laughed. “Oh, come on, think of the possibilities! But pushing that aside, let’s have dinner first.”

“Hitch, it’s only four in the afternoon.”

She scoffed lightheartedly. “We can always have a midnight snack later. Right now, I’m craving something savory.” The two of you went outside the lecture hall’s door, not missing the look of relief from your Ethics professor as you linked your arm with Hitch’s. She turned to you expectantly. “Any ideas for dinner, bub?”

There was a churning feeling inside your stomach, very much like those life-and-death situations during exams where you rely on your gut for the correct answer if the test includes multiple-choice questions. This time, instead of the nagging voice telling you to encircle the first choice, your gut was telling you to head to the café near your university. Aside from their famous coffee blends and teas (the latter being one of their specialties), the café houses a variety of dishes in its menu, which doesn’t make them a café anymore but the owner still insisted that they’ll be known as that establishment. It was more of a restaurant than your regular coffee shop, making it a hit among the students in the University of Eldia, where a majority of the student body was either caffeine-dependent or reliant on fast food take-outs. The quaint café owned by Levi Ackerman was the perfect solution to yours and Hitch’s grumbling stomachs.

“How about the café just outside of uni?” You suggested, hoping that Hitch will consider the idea.

The said girl hummed, a finger placed on her chin. “The one owned by that grumpy short-stack?”

“Hey, that’s rude.”

Hitch shrugged without care, hoisting her tote bag up to her shoulder. “Even his cousin calls him that, you know?” At your raised eyebrow, all Hitch could do was laugh at your adorable, clueless expression. Between the two of you, the light-haired girl was the social butterfly in your friendship and you wouldn’t be surprised if she even had an inkling of the gossips happening around your year level.

“Relax, his cousin is a good person (that is if she doesn’t kill you with her blank stare), along with their little friendship circle. I must say, all of them look so adorable. You remember Annie, right?” She continued when she saw you nod, the mention of the blonde made you remember your time when the three of you shared your apartment. It was a good kind of chaotic, the three of you balancing out each other’s personalities. Annie was always the indifferent one, Hitch the most sociable, and you being the mediator of the two. “She’s dating one of Mikasa’s friends, Armin. Mikasa is the cousin, by the way, and I can clearly see the resemblance between her and the café’s owner. With the permanent scowl and all.”

“Uh-huh.”

You didn’t know what to do with the information so you only hummed and nodded your head every time Hitch spewed out a couple of trivia involving people you have heard down the hallways or being called during roll-calls. She even told you how one of Mikasa’s friends, Sasha Braus, was reprimanded for eating inside the class of an infamous terror teacher, which landed the girl on that professor’s blacklist. The girl, Sasha, was actually in one of your classes but you never really talked to her, all of your attention poured out into absorbing what the teacher relayed in the class. All of Hitch's ramblings spanned the entirety of your walk to the café — a talent your roommate has that amazed you every time it happened.

The smell of cinnamon greeted you once you stepped inside the café, the homey decorations making your heart warm in an instant. There were a couple of college students in separate tables, all of them draping their textbooks and readings in front of them, headphones plugged in despite the soothing background music brought by the café’s speakers. Now that you mention it in your head, midterms were coming up in a month and you hadn’t started organizing your revisions. As your mind was filled with the scent of flowers and coffee, Hitch tugged on the sleeves of your blouse, your light-haired friend wordlessly gesturing her head towards one of the empty tables overlooking the window showing the small garden beside the café. You nodded and flashed a thumbs-up, already knowing what Hitch’s order is the number of times she went home with take-outs from this establishment.

Thinking that you should order something for a change, you looked up at the menu board above the counter. With your order listed in your mind, you faced the person manning the counter, ready to relay your order to her. What greeted you, though, wasn’t a smiling cashier, instead, wide gray eyes stared at you with a slacked jaw — irises flecked with an emotion that sent your heart lurching inside your chest. She was a tall girl with muscles in the right places, black hair styled in a pixie cut that made you appreciate her features more. You faintly recalled that she was in one of your majors, which should explain the air of familiarity surrounding her. Her hands on the small notepad hovered over the current lilac paper, her posture rod straight as her breath hitched while staring into you. You weren’t sure what made her react like that so you slightly tilted your head back to look at the booths behind you. Hitch caught your eyes, raising her eyebrow in a silent question. Facing the counter attendant again, you were shocked to see that star-like tears were decorating her eyelashes, chapped lips wobbly.

It felt like you’ve seen that expression too many times but you were sure this was the first time you saw her face to face.

“Oi, Mikasa, why are you stalling?” A short black-haired man entered the space behind the counter, arms crossed and gaze questioning as he took in the breaking form of his employee. “It’s been a full minute and you still didn’t take the customer’s order.”

“Can I stay in the breakroom for a while?”

Your breath was taken away at the sound of her voice. It sounded like all four seasons were present in the soft-spoken tone she carried, very different from her tough physical appearance. You were left staring at her back, chest nearly bursting open because of how fast your heart pounded just from that sentence. Images of late-night trysts played in your head; of secret kisses that created an ocean of emotions inside you; of eyes looking at each other with tendrils of hope before the gates open, death beckoning you in its arms; of desperate promises, neither person could ever keep. All of them were so familiar and nostalgic that a swarm of butterflies was starting to infest your ribs and chest, sprouting flowers that clogged your throat from speaking.

Levi glanced at you, eyes analyzing your form with a hint of concern for his relative and wondering what made Mikasa act like that. “Sure, go ahead, brat, your friends are at the back. Hello, ma’am, I’ll be taking your order.”

“Oh, sure,” you murmured before beginning to list down the food you and Hitch will be indulging in, eyes curiously staring at the girl going inside the breakroom. “Uhm, is she going to be alright?” You tried asking Levi, who only looked at you with a raised eyebrow. “It looks like she had a fright here.”

“It’s the first time I saw her in that state, to be honest,” Levi simply answered, with no room for other discussions. “Your drinks will be served shortly.” He gave you a small gadget, his pointer finger pushing a button on the device, making it light up in a blinding red. “Once your drinks are ready, this will light up and you can get it here on the counter. Thank you for your patronage.”

“Thank you, too.”

It was only when you seated yourself in front of Hitch that you realized Mikasa’s voice sounded like the one always shouting your name in your daydreams, failing to keep the promise of never letting you go.

Mikasa was a mess.

First, before waking up for her 7 A.M. class one autumn day, she was haunted by the memories of her previous life (or this is what Armin told her, with him also remembering being born again from a different timeline, another universe altogether rather). In that more outdated version of this world, they were on the constant grapple with these beings called Titans. Her dreams became more complex the more time passed by as these Titans disappeared, replacing with it a looming war between two countries. Her daydreams always resulted in tear-stained cheeks, eyes then finding her best friend who started a mass genocide in their previous lives, Eren. When Mikasa remembered that part of her last life, she would often find herself staring deeply at the side of Eren’s head, resulting in the brown-haired man complaining about her soulless eyes. It looked like Eren didn’t remember it, which nearly drove Mikasa mad.

Until that day Eren came up to her after a three-hour lecture, all haggard with his man-bun in disarray, and shouting, “I’m so sorry for laughing at you, Mikasa! I had a dream during a lecture of those titan things you and Armin are talking about. I believe you!”

Second, the warmth of somebody was a constant in balancing out the horrors of her daydreams. Among the carnage, a body fitting against hers with the morning rays passing through the slit of the windows was a sight she didn’t want to wake up from. Threads of soft hair tickled her cheek, making way for an unforgettable shade of irises that she compared to the crystals they found underneath the Reiss estate. A smile so vibrant that it paled in comparison to the blue expanse of unknown waters they saw after killing all the Titans in Paradis. The smell of freshly picked flowers lingered in the air, acting like the comforting blanket Mikasa had when she was young. At first, she couldn’t see the face of the person but as the episodes became more vivid, Mikasa finally saw the woman of her dreams.

Pulchritudinous — that’s what you are.

After that encounter with you in the café, Mikasa immediately talked everything out with her two friends.

“So you’re saying that you kind of knew her but you don’t?” Eren pointed out after a spoonful of ice cream. “This is some conspiracy theory shit right here.”

“Eren,” Armin sighed. “This is not one of those videos you watch at 3 A.M., okay?” The blonde glanced at the last member of their little trio, who was pacing in front of them with a queasy expression on her face. “Mikasa, I know you feel like you’re in a pinch but please calm down.”

Eren leaned forward and took a spoonful of ice cream from the tub on the low table. “It’s no use, Armin. You know Mikasa.” He nodded his head towards the said girl. “Once she enters that state, we can’t do anything about it.”

“I know,” Armin trailed off, dejected.

Mikasa buried her hands through her hair. “This was so unexpected.”

“Clearly,” Eren dryly stated.

The blue-eyed boy beside him instantly hit the back of his head. “Eren!”

Mikasa stopped pacing, not hearing how Eren exclaimed ‘finally’, her face and neck erupting in a warm shade of red that made her two friends exchange a concerned glance. Placing a hand on her pounding chest, she murmured with half-lidded eyes, “She’s much more beautiful than my dreams depicted her to be.”

Armin breathed out a silent ‘oh’ while Eren snickered, “Great, she turned into a simp,” to which the former slapped another hand at the back of the green-eyed boy’s head.

“That explains it,” the black-haired girl exclaimed. “There were times where a voice inside my head tells me to be at this specific place at a specific time.” (“I’m concerned,” Eren stage-whispered to Armin.) “While applying for this university, I had a feeling that I should take up medical sciences. Every time I’m at the campus, I will always find myself in the library after five o’clock and there are instances that I would search the tables. And you guys know how I hate helping Levi in the café.” Eren and Armin nodded as if they were children. “I just realized that she was always there, I can see her now. Why did I miss her when all this time, I was meant to find her? And now that she’s finally in the café right when I told Levi that I felt like helping the shop, I ran away! I’m such an idiot!” Mikasa then sunk on one of the plush chairs, her groans mingling with the gloomy atmosphere she created.

“You’re not an idiot, Mikasa,” Armin told her, to which she replied with an aggravated groan.

“Yeah, you’re not an idiot, you’re just having a gay panic moment,” Eren casually announced. Both of his friends slowly turned their heads toward him. He stared right back, blinking as he shrugged. “You have to admit, I’m not wrong.”

“You’re not helping right now.”

“I’m just stating a fact, Armin!”

The blonde boy rolled his eyes. “So what are you going to do about this, Mikasa?”

“About Eren?”

“No,” Armin shook his head. “Eren will be fine with his two brain cells.”

“Hey, I’m right here.”

Armin rolled his eyes and fixed his gaze on his gray-eyed best friend. “So are you going to tell [Name] that you two are star-crossed lovers pre-destined since your previous lives?”

The confidence she gained the day before during that conversation with her childhood friends dissipated as Mikasa awkwardly stood in the middle of the university’s library, eyes widely staring at you, who was browsing the shelves for the reference material for your papers. She didn’t expect to meet you this suddenly. All she was supposed to do was borrow a reference material and there she realized that the two of you share the same major so most of your schedule line up with one another — the both of you share a free period. Almost as if you were surrounded by a magnetic field, Mikasa went in your direction, her heart matching her footsteps. Meters became feet as she looked at your captivating figure. Even with a shirt tucked inside a pair of jeans, you are still the most beautiful girl inside the library.

And as you lifted your gaze, your glinting irises meeting her gray ones, Mikasa swore her orbit was waiting for this moment to be tilted to you.

Tears were immediately present in your eyes when she stood in front of you, it was as if you remembered her.

“Hey,” Mikasa breathed shakily, hands gripping the strap of her backpack.

“Hey, starlight.”

That nickname. The one you blurted out when Mikasa invited you stargazing in the meadow beside the Survey Corps Headquarters. You said it suited her because her eyes reminded you of the glow of the stars forming a canopy above you. But for her, you were brighter than any star in the sky, you were an entire cosmos altogether. “You became a part of me the moment I laid my eyes on you in our town. Right then and there — wherever you go, I’ll go. Because I know, I’m a part of you as well.”

“You finally found me.”

You are half of her soul, as the poets say, and the Fates will do everything in their power that it stays like that for eternity.

#aot #aot x reader #snk #snk x reader #attack on titan #attack on titan x reader #shingeki no kyoujin x reader #mikasa ackerman x reader #soulmate au #rorywrites #new aot writing blog #mikasa

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harryhandstan · 4 years

Text

gotta get better

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This concept has been in my head for a while now and it took me like a month to write and edit and just get it all out! I had surgery two years ago today and it was one of the most emotional, stressful experiences of my life simply bc I’m just a big baby lol. This is just something to celebrate that day and the fact that I’m still so happy it’s all over! Fluffy af as usual cause that’s all I know how to write. :)

Thankful to @bfharry and @bopbopstyles for not only inspiring me with their amazing writing but pushing me towards finishing this and reaching (even going over) my personal 5k goal! I appreciate you both so much!!

I recently saw a post about tagging triggers properly so I’m gonna do it that way but if I do it wrong or it doesn’t work PLEASE let me know and I will fix it immediately (just want to be sure all my bases are covered)

// needles tw, pills tw (prescription), anxiety tw // (if I missed anything I should’ve tagged please please let me know!!) and I’m sure there are some medical inaccuracies bc that whole day is kind of a blur for me haha

as always likes/rbs/comments are welcome but absolutely not necessary :)

final word count: 7.1k

"Y'nervous, angel?"

"Hmm?"

"Bout to chew your finger off. I know there can't be much of a nail left."

Your hand drops back to your lap. You hadn't even realized you were doing it. A bad habit of the nervous child you thought you'd long forgotten. He offers his left hand and you accept it, thumb swiping over the cross painted across his skin. He knows it's one of your favorites and you're thankful for the comfort. You don't know how many times he'd teased you about how you would eventually rub it off one day and he'd have to get it redone.

"S'a routine surgery, I bet they do them all day. You're gonna be fine."

You'd been over all this a thousand times before. Harry had to ban you from looking up the procedure online at one point. You became obsessive with worry. What if you're still awake when they cut into you and you can't talk? What if you feel everything and can't tell anyone? What if you don't wake up? He had shot down every one of your horrifying theories.

"How much longer before they take me back?"

"Nurse said it would be about 10 minutes when we checked in. Shouldn't be too much longer. Want me to check the board again?"

Checking in had only consisted of a nurse taking your name and giving you your bracelet for the day with an ID number. The number would help Harry stay updated on where you were throughout the whole process. The "board" was simply a tv mounted to the wall that frequently cycled through each patient's last name and ID number.

"No, no," You cling to his sleeve like a desperate child, "Don't leave again. She said they wouldn't update anything until I went back anyway."

Harry had left you only briefly when you first arrived. Hands in his pockets, wandering around like a lost child around the big, open expanse of the waiting room. He stayed where you could see him and the whole time you had anxiously chewed your bottom lip until he returned. You hated it, but you knew he was just as nervous as you. So you let him have that moment. To check his surroundings and release some of the nerves so he could come back to you, calm and cool as always.

When the nurse does call your name, you almost jump out of your skin. You freeze, unable to move. Harry stands and flashes the nurse a quick smile before turning back to you and offering his hand.

You shake your head, "I can't do this, H. I feel like I'm gonna throw up if I move."

"You're not, promise. Remember those breathing exercises we practiced? Do those. C'mon..deep breath in. Pause. Slowly let it out. Do it while we walk."

Slow deep breath in. Pause. Slowly let it out.

You remember how silly you felt the first time you did it. How it made you giggle at first. This is never going to work. But eventually it did. Anytime you got upset or started to overthink about this day, Harry made you stop whatever you were doing and sit down. Breathe.

It was a little difficult to do while walking. Your body wanted to pause your steps when your breath paused, but Harry tugged you along, you almost hiding behind him until you made it through a set of heavy wooden doors to a small space with a hospital bed and a curtain drawn in front of it.

The IV had had been your biggest dread, the fear overriding any logic that it was something you needed, instead of something the nurses decided to do simply to torture you.

Your face twists into a wince of pain when the needle goes into your vein, Harry standing over you, his face a mirror of your own as you squeeze his hand. When the nurse pulls away with a triumphant "all done!" you flash a look of surprise between your arm and Harry.

"Not that bad, eh? Think ya overreacted a bit about how bad that was gonna be?" He raises his eyebrows, waiting for you to shoot him a nasty look for teasing you.

"Maybe a little." You pinch your index finger and thumb together, indicating a minimal amount.

"Tiny bit more, babe," Another nurse appears from around the curtain and he laughs before speaking to her, "it's all she's worried about all morning."

"Honestly that's everyone's least favorite part. The rest of the day should be aces if you can handle that!"

Harry settles himself into a chair while the nurse goes through a myriad of questions. Any other surgeries? Allergies to medications you know of? Do you smoke? Drink?

Harry snorts when you say no to drinking, but quickly clasps his hand over his mouth when the nurse's head snaps to look between you and him.

"The occasional drink is fine, no worries. Nothing this morning though, right?"

"No, ma'am."

Your eyes meet his, a mischievous grin still plastered across his face. He mumbles a quick "sorry" while you try to pull your concentration back towards the nurse and the remainder of her questions.

"Alright, time for the good stuff," she passes you a small clear cup with two white pills, "First one is just something to keep you calm and relaxed, second one is to prevent any pain after the procedure. They'll give you something to make you sleepy when you get to the OR, but this might make you a bit loopy for now."

"This should be fun." Harry claps his hand in front of him, rubbing them together quickly. He leans forward in his chair, as if ready for a show.

"Yeah? Is she a happy drunk?"

Harry had only ever experienced you high on any sort of prescription medication once, almost a year ago when you went on a girl's trip with your best friend and twisted your ankle in an attempt to make it back to her car after dinner out one night. You calling him from an unknown ER in the middle of the night had terrified him enough to start packing a bag to fly to you before your best friend could grab your phone and assure him you were fine and she would put you on a plane home to him in two days as planned. He had teased you endlessly when he picked you up from the airport and for the next few days afterwards as you limped around on a bruised, ACE bandage wrapped foot.

But after too many wine drunk nights to count, he had enough stories to humiliate you with and the thought of any one of them being told now had you sinking further into the hospital bed.

"You could say that. Last time she.." His voice trails off at the sight of your eyes, wide as saucers, begging him to stop.

The nurse grins, her face kind and sympathetic to your silent cry for help.

"We're a little behind schedule this morning so it may be about 20 minutes before they come transport you, okay?" You nod, the effects of the sedative already working its way through your system, "Keep an eye on her? Make sure she behaves?"

"Yeah, I got her. We'll be fine, thank you so much." He's closer now, standing next to you again, a hand sliding up your arm to settle on your shoulder. You manage a thumbs up and a sleepy "thank you" as an affirmation that you appreciate all she's done for you.

"You're more than welcome. You'll have a different set of nurses in recovery but if you need anything until they come get you, just let me know, alright?"

"We will, thanks." His thumb ghosts across the front of your collarbone, the lightest of touches to soothe you, his eyes still focused on the nurse.

"Good luck! You're gonna do just fine, I promise."

The second she's around the curtain, Harry nudges you lightly, "Scoot."

"Huh? What do you mean..Harry, there's not enough room for you in this bed." Your head feels too light to deal with his nonsense now.

"Yeah there is if you scoot. C'mon. Hurry before we get caught. M’supposed to be keeping an eye on you, remember? Gotta make sure you don't fall outta the bed."

He's already wedged himself next to you, trying to make his tall frame fit into the limited space.

You move over as much as you can, the rail of the bed poking into your hip.

He tucks one arm behind your head, the other one thrown behind his own as a cushion.

"You feel more relaxed now, lovie?"

You scrunch down in the bed, just enough that you can tuck your head under his other arm, "A little. I don't feel sleepy enough though," Your eyes dart up, seeking the comfort of his face, "I'm scared, H."

"I know you are, baby," the hand behind your head shifts to cup around your arm, pulling you closer, "Just pretend you're home with me and we're taking a nice little nap together, yeah?"

"But you won't be there with me, not really."

"I'll be there when you wake up though. First thing you'll see when you open your eyes, promise." He runs a finger along the curve of your nose, "Close your eyes. Try to sleep, hmm?"

You shake your head, turning towards him to hide your face in his side, inhaling his scent.

"Want me to turn the light off? Would that help?"

"No," You toss the arm that isn't trapped between you two over him, holding tightly to his shirt, "Stay."

"Alright, then. We'll just wait," He tilts his head to rest closer to yours, "Have you thought about what you want to eat after?"

"Not really. M'too nervous to think about food."

"We'll think of something good. Whatever you want."

"You're gonna get us in trouble, better scoot back to your corner like a good boy." Your words come out unintentionally slurred and you weakly push yourself up and away from him as he slides off. He doesn't sit though, just stands near you, an anxious look flashing across his features.

"Hey, c'mere. Gonna be fine, routine surgery, remember?" You stretch your arms out to him, a plea to be near his warmth again.

He sits on the edge of the bed, facing you. You tug lightly at the sleeve of his cardigan, a feeble attempt to pull him closer. He indulges you, his brow still creased with distress.

"Know ya gonna be fine, just hate you have to go through it at all. Wish I could take it from you without all this." He gestures to the IV he knows you despise so much.

"You have helped take it from me. All the sleepless nights you spent up with me, holding my hair back when I got sick. All the days after when I was too drained to get out of bed. You were there for as much of it as you could be. And you pushed me to go see the surgeon in the first place. You've helped me more than you give yourself credit for."

His fingers intertwine in yours, the pad of his thumb soothing over the front of your hand.

"Make sure you keep my phone with you, my mom will probably call you every 30 minutes for updates." A yawn stretches across your face, "She has your number too, bullied me into giving it to her last week when I called to tell her about the surgery."

He nods, patting his pocket to make sure both phones are still nestled there together.

Another yawn threatens to escape and you muffle it this time, more content to fight sleep to stare at Harry; his hair a perfect mess of curls under the harsh brightness of the hospital lighting. His face is more relaxed now, his eyes still focused on your fingers tangled together. He catches you, your eyes glazed over, too heavy and threatening to close.

"Darling, please close your eyes. I can see how tired you are," His fingertips sweep delicately over your nose again, as if he was lulling a baby to sleep, "You don't have to stay awake for me."

"Closing my eyes for just a second, alright? Not because you told me to though. I want to. Wake me up in 2 hours, don't wanna sleep too long."

Your eyes are already drifting closed, the last thing you hear is a chuckle; effortless, light as air, "I will, promise."

Soft kisses pressed across your face, "Sweet dreams, love."

His voice is the first you hear as you wake up in the dimly lit recovery room. Well, really it was more like a big cubicle, another space with a curtain drawn in front of it. Even with the floaty, dreamy feeling flowing through your system, you can still detect the worry in his voice.

"Harry?" It takes your mind a minute to catch up and process where you are and what had happened.

Oh yeah. Surgery day. No more annoying gallbladder. No more sleepless nights. Freedom to eat what you want and not be haunted by nausea and sickness from what you ate.

"How are you feeling? Any pain?" Suddenly a nurse in bright blue scrubs is there, way too animated and loud at the moment, "Pain scale 1-10?"

"I don't have any pain. Zero." You're aware of how high you sound and a giggle escapes through the haze. That earns you a smile from Harry, one that lights up his whole face and makes his dimples shine through.

"Awesome! Well then as soon as you're good and awake we're gonna get this IV out and go over some paperwork for both of you to sign. I want you to drink something for me too, so what would you like?"

You request a ginger ale and as soon as the nurse leaves to retrieve it for you, Harry scoots the chair he's sitting in as close to the bed as possible.

"How long was I out?"

"Couple of hours," He absentmindedly fixes your hair, looping various curls back around to their respective places, "Took a little longer than expected, you had a small infection so they had to make sure it hadn't spread."

"How much longer?"

"Long enough you had us all slightly worried." His hand trails down your cheek to cup your chin gently, urging you to look at him, "You sure you're not in pain? Now's not the time to do that stubbornly brave thing you do where you pretend nothing's wrong."

"I feel fine, really. Just a little tired, ready to go home."

He studies your face, trying to find any trace of dishonesty. When he's satisfied you're being truthful, he stands and extracts your phone from his pocket.

"Already talked to ya mum, but your co-workers were all texting you, asking how you were. Figured you'd want to handle that yourself, didn't know how much detail you would want to give them."

"Did you give my mother all the details? Infection and everything?"

"Um, no. I knew better than to do that. Promised her you would call when I got you settled at home."

"You promised or she demanded?"

"Okay..she politely asked that you call her when we get home."

"That sounds more like her." You roll your eyes, pushing yourself so you're sitting more upright in the bed.

"She just worries about you." He adjusts the pillow behind you, fluffing and tucking it where you direct it, against your lower back.

"I know. I'll FaceTime her when we get home to prove I'm alive."

"It's been a while since we've seen them, maybe we should plan a visit?" He plops himself back in the chair, leaning back as far as he can go; hands behind his head, eyes closed. You'd both gotten very little sleep the night before, you were too anxious and he was too gracious to let you suffer alone.

"Oh please, I'm lucky I even got time off to do this. My boss would never allow another break so soon."

"Maybe for the holidays?"

"Maybe..but only if you can go with me, you know they love you more than me by now anyway."

"They do not," He peeks one eye open at you, "They love us both equally."

You shoot a quick text to your co-workers, using the group chat between the few of you to make it easier.

I'm out! Feeling okay for now but that might change later lol

The nurse is back, apologizing for taking so long, "We've been so behind all day, it's crazy busy. I had to wait for your doctor to sign off on your release." She hands you a can of ginger ale, white bendy straw already poised and ready for you.

"Just need you to sign here," She holds a clipboard and a pen out to you and you balance the can dangerously in one hand while you scribble something that resembles your signature. Close enough. She gestures for you to pass the clipboard to Harry, "His signature goes under yours, just says he's responsible for you for the next few hours until everything wears off."

"This means I'm the boss, right?" He leans over to grab the board, a wink thrown in your direction. He's enjoying himself way too much at the thought of being in control of you for the next few hours. Smug son of a bitch.

She takes the clipboard back and pulls off a yellow sheet of paper, "This is just your copy of what you signed, and also has post op instructions for your bandages. Your prescription's been sent to the pharmacy, and there's a brief summary of pain management information on the bottom there just in case you need it."

"Thank you." You transfer it right to Harry's waiting hand, knowing he'll be the one surveying every word, making sure you follow everything to the letter.

"I know you mentioned earlier having a little bit of a drive home, so probably once you get her some food and pick up her prescriptions, it'll be time for another round of meds. Okay?" She turns to you again, "I know it sounds silly, but one of the most important things after this particular surgery is lots of walking. Otherwise you'll be miserable. Rest for a while when you get home, then get up every 10 minutes or so until bedtime. Don't let her skip that part, alright? Very important."

"I heard you weren't a big fan of this thing," She nods towards the IV in your right forearm, "So this'll probably be the best part of this whole process for you. We'll get this out and then you can get changed and we'll get someone to wheel you down and out of here, alright? Don't look and you won't even know when it's gone."

"Hey, think about what you want to eat, huh? Your first freedom meal. Yay!" He slips his hand into your left, raising your connected hands victoriously. You didn't think it was possible for you to love him anymore until this moment. The way he could so easily erase your fear was one of his many gifts you adored him for, "What are we having, babe?"

You don't even hesitate before answering, "Pizza, from Milano's. It's my favorite, other than that one place in Italy you took me to. Please? Oh and one of their salads, with the little bread knots on the side!"

He glances at the nurse, awaiting a reprimand for your meal choice.

"As your nurse, I feel I should remind you that while you can have anything you feel like eating, we usually recommend something small and light at first. Broth or soup with some toast, maybe. The salad may be fine, but the pizza might be a little heavy. Taking it slow would be best. But everyone is different."

"So..just cheese then? Maybe some mushrooms?"

You let your head fall back against the pillow, a foggy haze settling over you, "Plain cheese, no mushrooms."

"Alright, sounds good. Why don't I go call it in and pull the car around? Meet you out front?" He leans closer, a quick peck to your cheek before pulling his hand loose from yours and turning to leave.

"Hey, wait," You attempt to tug at his wrist, but fail, your brain still set to slow-motion. He takes pity on you and returns to your side, "Let's eat there. It's in the mall so we can window shop after we eat."

"You sure? You still seem a bit tipsy, honey."

You don't feel tipsy. Just tired, and hungry. Very hungry. As if on cue, your stomach makes a remarkably loud noise; an objection at not being fed for the past 12 hours.

"Alright, alright, calm down. " You let out an embarrassed groan when you realize he's talking to your stomach, "We'll eat there."

He kisses you again, closer to your mouth, "Missed."

"I did, huh?" He chuckles, close enough to your face now your noses are almost touching, "Let's try again."

This time his lips meet yours and you know he missed on purpose the first time by how amused he looks when he pulls away.

"One more for luck?" You can't resist letting the back of your hand wander over his face, before resting the palm of your hand against his cheek.

"I think I can handle that," He smiles before landing another quick peck to your lips, "Be good for the nurse while I'm gone. I'll have the getaway car ready in 10, yeah?"

You're certain Harry would have fed you if you would have let him, right here in the mall food court in front of everyone. But you refuse, insisting even, on carrying your own tray to the table. He chuckles when you pull your phone out of your sweater pocket to take a picture of your food, quickly uploading it to Facebook.

He watches you closely as you take the first bite, even pulling his own phone out to sneak a photo of you when you temporarily close your eyes to appreciate the indulgence of being able to eat one of your favorite foods again; free from that anxious feeling of whether or not it would settle right with your body later. You open your eyes the very moment after he captured the image.

"Harry!"

"You just looked so happy! I couldn't help it. You know I'll never post it anyway. Snagged a few of you earlier in your little blue cap they made you wear too." He flips back through to show you. You try to snatch the phone away, but he's too quick to pull his hand back and stash his phone in his pocket.

"When??"

"After you fell asleep, right before they came to take you back."

He takes a bite from his own generous slice of pizza in front of him before gesturing to your tray, "How is it?"

"Amazing. Even better than before, if possible."

His smile is bright, loving the satisfaction of seeing you actually enjoy food again.

Your plan to walk around the mall was cut short, you could barely make it through one store without yawning. You cling to Harry most of the way back to the car, his arm securely wrapped around you to keep you steady.

You doze off on the drive home, and when your eyes flutter open you find him opening the passenger door, offering a hand to help lift you out of the car and up the stairs into the house. Your foot stumbles on the first step, failing to make contact and you almost fall back.

"Easy," He giggles, an arm thrown behind your back to catch you before encouraging softly, "Try again."

When he's confident you're stable enough on your feet, he lets go to unlock the door.

You're greeted by a bouquet of flowers, a colorful arrangement of roses and lilies from Harry's band mates. You immediately recognize Sarah's handwriting on the card and make a mental note to shoot everyone a thank you text later. You don't know if it's the medication still in your system, the exhaustion of the day, or the overwhelming amount of love that makes you teary eyed.

Harry stands behind you as you admire the flowers and the card, arms curving around to hug you, careful of the large bandage on your upper abdomen and the two smaller steri-strips on your right side.

"How did they know pink roses were my favorite?"

"They love you, peach." He rests his chin on your shoulder, "Besides, you've only mentioned growing up with a pink rose bush in your Nanna's garden about a hundred times."

"I always loved it. Still do."

Your mind travels back to your earliest memories spent there; summers when you practically lived at the small house on the hill. Helping pick tomatoes and peppers from the garden, too warm afternoons spent with a book in your lap under the shade of a peach tree, your grandfather's corny jokes and loving smile. Your Nanna's too generous portions of food contributing to the few extra curves you still carried with you to this day.

You don't even notice the tears at first. They slip down your cheeks and land on his arm. Once you realize, you try to quickly wipe them away, but Harry sees.

"Hey..c'mon, I think your high's wearing off a bit, bub. Pajamas, meds, nap. Sound good?" He turns you to face him, using the sleeve of his shirt to brush away any tears that still linger at the corner of your eyes.

"What time is it?"

"Almost 3..why?"

"No nap. I'll never sleep tonight, and you know how grumpy I get when my sleep schedule is thrown off." Even with your declaration of not wanting a nap, you can't help but rub your eyes, a weak attempt to keep yourself awake. Any resolve Harry had to try to convince you to nap melts away. A smirk on his face, he knows you'll eventually crash later, most likely on his chest or in his arms. He's content to let you be stubborn for now.

"Okay, then. New plan. Pajamas, meds, movie. Better?"

"Better. You get everything ready and pick the movie while I change?"

"You don't wanna pick the movie?"

You wave him off, already shuffling towards the bedroom, "You're the boss today, remember?"

You take your time gathering what you need to get cozy for the rest of the day, selecting an oversized, well-worn tie dye t-shirt and leggings from your dresser. You even take a moment to dip into Harry's extensive sweatshirt collection, grabbing your favorite one. It's amazingly soft and still smells of him, a faint scent of his cologne and well..just Harry. You couldn't imagine anything more comforting.

In your pursuit to feel more lucid, you venture into the bathroom, taking a moment to wash your face. The cool water instantly refreshes you and pushes you closer to feeling like yourself again. Wanting your hair out of your face, you pluck a scrunchy from your shared collection of hair accessories. You quickly recognize that your arms still have that too heavy feeling of unconsciousness and after a few attempts to gather your curls into some sort of up-do, you give up and loop the accessory around your wrist to try again later.

Harry senses your frustration when you find him in the kitchen, two small green pill bottles sitting on the counter in front of him. He's already filled your favorite cup with ice water, and you gratefully take it and drink from it.

"What's wrong?" His brow creases with concern and you feel guilty for making him worry over something so silly.

"Nothing..just wanted my hair up out of my face but my arms wouldn't cooperate." You try to laugh it off to put him more at ease, "It's not a big deal."

You know it's only the weariness of the day still making you feel so emotional, clear-headed you would not be upset over something so small.

"Here. Let me try." He slides the scrunchy from your wrist and pulls you closer to him, moving behind you to gently work long fingers through your hair, gathering it all in a loose ponytail on top of your head before securing it around a few times with the scrunchy.

You let your shoulders drop with a deep sigh when he's done, it was such a simple thing, but it made you feel so much lighter. He spins you around to face him, a charming gleam of pride at his handiwork adorning his face, "Too tight?"

"No. Much better. Thank you, Harry. You take such good care of me always, but today..I don't know what I would've done without you. I made such a big fuss and probably made you miserable with all of my worrying." You're suddenly very aware that you are rambling, but when you catch a glimpse of his face, his smile is wide. So bright that the skin around his eyes is crinkling.

He leans towards you, lips stopping whatever words may have come next, arms wrapping around you to pull you closer in a soft, warm embrace. When he pulls away, his eyes bore right into yours, and your heart swells with more love than you could ever imagine having for one person. But he wasn't just any person. He was your person, your whole word staring back at you.

"I'm SO proud of you. You've been so strong today, always knew you had that strength in you, but seeing you take that leap of faith..doing something you knew you should despite your fear, that's all you, love. I can't take any credit for that. You've made me anything but miserable, trust me."

His face is still close enough to yours that you nudge forward, pressing your forehead to his, a silent appreciation of his affection.

"Any pain yet?" He pulls back, a thumb across your cheek, eyes still locked on yours.

"My head kind of hurts? And I still just feel kind of..drunk."

"You have always been a bit of a lightweight, babe. And a thief too, I see. S'that my sweatshirt?"

"Have not!" You swat playfully at his arm, "Maybe. Is that my hair clip in your hair?"

"Possibly." His eyes dart up to the swoop of curls on top of his head, a black plastic clip twisting it back and away from his face.

"Guess we're even then."

"S'pose we are." He tries to keep his eyes narrowed in a mock attempt of annoyance, but it quickly fades into laughter.

You decide against FaceTiming your family, hoping that hearing your voice will be enough. It seems to satisfy them at least for the rest of the day. You assure them that Harry is taking very good care of you and that everything went as smooth as could be expected.

He raises one eyebrow at you as you hang up, "As smooth as expected, huh? You aren't going to tell them the truth?"

"What's to tell? I had an infection and now it's gone. I'm fine, there's no sense in worrying them. We can give them the full story later."

He shrugs, fingers working to open one of the green pill bottles before passing one of the white pills to you, "For your headache, lovie. There's something here for nausea too if you need it. M'worried the pizza might've been too much. Maybe you should take one of these..just in case?"

"Harry, I promise I will tell you if I feel anything other than fine." Your hand runs from his shoulder down his bicep, squeezing gently, "Besides, I cannot take a whole one of those. If you think I'm a lightweight now..I'll sleep for the whole week if I take that."

He slips the bottle in his pocket, pulling you in to press a kiss to the top of your head, "We'll keep it close just in case, okay?"

"Sounds good," Your hand trails back up to his neck to work fingers through his hair, "Hey, thought we were watching a movie? What'd you pick?"

"Thought we could decide together. C'mon, let's get you comfy in bed."

"Ever the gentleman, always trying to get me in your bed."

"Hey! I am a perfect gentleman, thank you very much," He chuckles, a hand coming to rest on the small of your back, "Just thought you'd be more comfortable, you can prop up and stretch your feet out."

You let him tug you along for the second time today, thankful it's the luxury of your shared bed you get to settle into this time. He tucks you in softly, propping pillows behind your back and head.

"Comfy? Need anything else?"

"No, just need you to quit babying me so much and relax with me for a bit."

"Since when am I not allowed to baby you?"

You roll your eyes, "Never said you weren't allowed. Just want you to stop worrying so much, that's all."

"Good. Cause y'are my baby," No matter how many times you'd heard him say it before, it never failed to make you blush, "Do anything for you, y'know that, right?"

"I know," You look down at your hands, trying to slow your racing heart, "You never let me forget."

"Hey," He pokes your cheek, pulling your gaze back up to him, "I love you."

"I love you more, H."

He kisses your forehead, "Impossible. I love you most."

The reference to one of your favorite movies has you smiling at him, that dreamy feeling falling over you again, "Can we watch Tangled?"

"Sure, princess."

He sinks next to you, head propped up on your shoulder, navigating easily through Disney+ to find your requested movie.

Your eyes drift closed right about the time the lanterns are being released in the sky, a moment that normally leaves your face wet with tears, the soft vibrations of Harry humming along the perfect lullaby to push you further into your dream.

He wakes you later in the evening.

"Dinner's on the table if you want to join me."

"Time's it?" Your voice is still heavy with sleep.

"7. You were sleeping so deeply I didn't want to wake you, thought your body could use the extra sleep today."

"Yeah. It was nice, thank you." You stretch your arms forward, reaching for his hands to help pull you up.

"How do you feel?"

"A little sore. More sober, for sure."

Dinner is simple; a bowl of plain broth, salad, and toast. Exactly what the nurse suggested earlier. There's even a warm mug of tea waiting for you.

"With honey for my honey," He's so proud of his cheesy expression of love you cannot help but smile.

You look at him curiously when he sits next to you, the same boring meal set out for himself.

"Harry..you can eat what you want, babe. Seriously you've done enough today, more than enough to be supportive. It wouldn't hurt my feelings if you made yourself something different."

"Nah. S'fine. We're in this together, yeah?"

You raise your eyebrows at him playfully, "Did you have an organ snatched from your body today?"

"No, I didn't." He laughs, "I just meant food wise, love. It's vegetable broth, by the way, hope that's alright."

"It's perfect."

You nudge him lightly, an elbow to his side, shifting closer to ask for a kiss. He meets you the rest of the way, lips planted firmly on yours. When you don't pull away, he quickly adds another.

After dinner is done and you have another round of meds, the two of you end up in an awkward ball of cuddles on the couch. Harry flips through the channels on the tv before finding a show you both agree on.

But you're too restless, unable to find a position comfortable enough for you. You shift a few times, finally giving up and letting out a frustrated groan before tossing the blanket off the both of you and springing up and off the couch.

Harry doesn't panic, just grabs your hand before you can get too far away or lose your balance, keeping his voice low when he asks, "What's wrong?"

"Nothing hurts. I just can't get comfortable, and I don't feel right."

"What doesn't feel right, angel? Explain."

"I don't feel like myself. I don't know how to explain it. Just feel off."

He sees you're on the verge of tears and ascends from his spot on the couch, arms quickly enveloping you before placing a finger under your chin to pull your face up to look at him.

"It's probably gonna take a day or so to adjust, baby. Yes it was a minor surgery but it was a major change to your body." He's bending now to look right into your eyes, searching them, "How can we fix it tonight, hmm? What do you need?"

Tears are free flowing, falling on the front of your t-shirt and down to the floor.

"Take your time. Breathe." A large hand smoothing warm circles firmly across your back; a balm for your restless spirit.

You pause, deep breath in before slowly letting it out, "I think I just need to move around for a bit."

"Let's go for a walk, eh? A quick one and then back to bed. Your mind needs more rest. How's that sound?" He taps your forehead softly.

"Okay, yeah." You nod your head, an approval of his plan.

"Don't worry about it, okay? Everything's gonna be fine. You're gonna be fine."

You nod again, scared your voice will break if you try to speak. He knew that those words held a lot of weight for you, he'd repeated them often throughout this whole process and to hear them now was a reminder of how safe you were. That with him, you would always be safe and loved.

Being dark outside meant you gracelessly padding through the house, up and down the hallway a few times and back to the living room. Harry stays close, encouraging you along with little claps and kisses to motivate you. When your stomach starts to feel uneasy, he urges you once again to take something for nausea. You agree to take a half a pill, knowing it'll help you sleep.

Despite the nap you had earlier and only being awake for a couple of hours, it doesn't take much convincing for you to settle back into bed.

"Harry?"

"Hmm?"

He's already reclined next to you, book in hand, the soft light from the lamp illuminating one side of his face. You're smushed against him, drifting between that sweet space of almost asleep and wanting to stay awake to enjoy any spare moment you get with him. His hand working through your hair helps push you towards the former of the two.

"I'm sorry to be such a burden today," Your words are slurring together but you continue on, just needing to get your thoughts out before he can stop you, "I don't deserve you and I shouldn't have overreacted so much about something so simple."

"Hey, none of that now," He lays the book on the nightstand, careful to save his place for later before pulling you closer to him, "You were not, nor have you ever been a burden to me. Just because you needed a little extra help today does not mean you aren't deserving of me or my love. You will never have to earn that. It's yours, always has been, will be as long as you decide to keep me around."

"Thank you. For all of it. I'll always want you."

"Always? Y'might change your mind someday, angel."

"I won't. Promise."

"Yeah? Me either."

A kiss laid delicately to the top of your head has your eyes dangerously close to falling shut again before another thought navigates its way through your mind and out of your mouth before you can stop it.

"H..what am I gonna do with a full week off from work?"

"Let me take care of you?"

And that's exactly what he does.

Mornings spent sleeping in, late breakfasts made together and afternoon walks. Evenings consisting of the two of you preparing dinner together or ordering takeout from some of the forbidden places you couldn't eat from before. Mugs of herbal tea before early bedtimes, you sweetly falling asleep to the sound of his voice reading to you most nights.

But his favorite part was that the scent of lavender was no longer cursed for you. Some nights before your surgery, when you simply could not fall asleep the pain was so unbearable, you would fill the tub with hot water and lavender scented bubbles to try to calm yourself enough to be able to drift off afterwards. It never worked, the heat always doing more harm than good. Harry would always be waiting for you, open arms and a soft towel to wrap you in.

So the smell became one you hated, memories of sleepless nights and nausea. But now you were free to use it again for what you always loved it for before it was cursed. In your body wash, lotion, even your laundry detergent; spreading the scent all over your shared space in as many ways as you could.

He even mentions it one night after dinner, when the two of you are pressed impossibly close together on the couch. His nose buried into your neck, inhaling deeply, pulling away to announce, "You smell like you again, love. Missed it so much." He burrows back in, placing kisses from your neck to your shoulder, ignoring your giggles and protests of how much it tickles.

A week later, the alarm wakes you sooner than you've become accustomed to, reminding you of your return to work. Harry's arm thrown over your waist pulls you closer as you try to leave the bed, a sleepy "Don't go." mumbled in your ear.

You do your best to peel yourself away from him, admitting silently to yourself how much harder it is for you to leave the warmth of your bed as it is for him to let you go.

2 years later, you have a scar you swear didn't heal right, and a man who loves you even more because of it.

#harry styles imagine #harry x reader #my writing #so happy this is finally done and being posted!#soooooo many times I almost just deleted it bc I didn't know how to feel about it #but anyway hope y'all enjoy!

447 notes · View notes

kiegosbby · 3 years

Note

Tamaki or Mirio angst please? 🥺 Like he simply snaps at us and when he tries to apologize is too late

so I decided to do both, and then a poly fic! I felt bad bc of taking so long so here you go! Enjoy!!

@devildom-express

@yoongisausuna (gave me ideas for the story)

✁- - - - - - r- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Tamaki fic:

you and tamaki were on a mission together, and you were sticking together like you normally do. you took the lead, you always did, so he wouldn’t get hurt.

you were sent to infiltrate a small base that the lov had, it should be easy in and out, there should be 3 people inside, take them out and it’ll be over.

you both approached the building slowly and scoped out the inside through a window, seeing a back door that was not guarded and you both snuck over to it

“ok tamaki wait until I give you the signal and I’ll distract them”

you turned your head to get his approval, but instead you saw him busting the door down, trying to take all the villains himself.

luckily you were there to back him up, and you took them down with ease.

when the villains were taken by the police you went to find tamaki and give him a piece of your mind.

“Tamaki! What were you doing you could have been killed?” you were scared for him, you were also pissed because he was doing this so recklessly, did he not care for you at all?

“I was doing my job y/n j-just like you. I don’t need you to take the lead all the time.”

was he really upset over this? you were only trying to help him why is he making a big fuss. you didn’t want him to get hurt, to be home one day and for him to never come back to you, you were only trying to protect him

“but we’re in this together, me and you are supposed to look out for each other and-“

“well maybe we shouldn’t be together if your going to hold me back like such a burden!” tamaki was loud, but he held his head low

your heart shattered at those words, all you were doing was trying to protect him, why couldn’t he see that?

you stood there baffled staring at him with wide eyes, tears bubbling and silently falling as your heart broke.

he finally looked up at you and immediately regretted what he said, he just wanted you to know that he could take care of himself.

he had messed up.

you turned away from him and started walking, and he called after you, grabbing your arm only to gave you harshly pull away.

you started running, you had to be anywhere else but where he was. you needed to get away from him he was closely following you, trying to get you to just stop and talk to him

you lost him eventually, it was a busy day and you ran all the way to the middle of the city. you let your mind wander while you kept walking. we’re you trying to hard in your relationship?

you finally stopped walking and ended up in front of your shared apartment. Why had your legs taken you here? you didnt even know if you and him were together anymore, so how were you going to walk in like nothing happened?

you walked up to the door, should you knock, should you just walk in? you walked in and saw tamaki sitting at the table, he was obviously crying, he was shaking and his eyes were red from crying. your heart broke even more from the sight.

When you walked in the apartment he looked directly at you, and stood up he opened his mouth to talk but all that came out was a sob.

you put your head down to avoid the sight and walked to your shared bedroom, you had to leave, you couldn’t stay after what he said.

as you walked he started following you trying to see what you were doing. what he said was a mistake, you knew that right? He didn’t mean it, he loved you and how you tried to protect him. It showed that you cared

you grabbed a bag from under your shared bed, and walked over to your closet shoving all the clothes that you saw into your bag.

if he thought you were such a burden then you’d leave. hell be free from you and able to do what he wants.

he stood in the doorway and his heart started to race when you grabbed your bag, his stomach dropping.

“Y-y/n what are you doing?”

“I’m leaving.”

your voice sounded so cold, how could you say that? how could you leave? he really didn’t mean what he said.

“n-no you c-cant leave! please I-I didn’t mean it! you can’t leave me alone..” his voice trailed off as he started to cry again, he knew he messed up bad now. you gave him all his confidence, and you loved him at the same time. without you he would be nothing.

you ignored him as you finished packing your bag, and you pushed past him, pushing your feelings down you walked over to the door, stopping for just a second.

he had followed you the whole way there, and stood behind you as you stopped

You turned your head over your shoulder slightly, tears running down your face

“your free tamaki”

and with that you left,.

left him to be alone. to shatter into the ground and become the person he used to be.

Mirio:

you and mirio had been together for a little now, you were 3rd years and you both had hero work to do, so you didn’t get that many times to be alone, but you could tell that something was bothering him.

mirio was usually happy and bright, always smiling. lately you had noticed him spacing off and getting distracted. so you both had a free night tonight, you were going to go to his dorm and spend it with him.

after school you headed to your dorm and got ready, packing a overnight bag and started to make your way to his dorm.

when you got there you knocked softly said a “mirio it’s me” and he let you in, you sat on the bed and waited for him to come in.

he walked in and you noticed his aura was immediately off, and his smile wasn’t like it always was.

“mirio are you ok? You know you can talk to me right?”

“I’m ok y/n no need to worry”

that set you off. there was something obviously wrong, and he was just ignoring that fact?

“mirio something’s obviously wrong please tell me”

you sat in silence for a moment, before he started talking

“I’m always there for everyone. anything anyone needs anything from me I’m there. I’m there talking to them about there problems. and I’m good at it! you know? but what about me?” mirios voice started getting louder, you scooted away from him a little, ready for the worst.

“what about me huh? am I not important? no one ever fucking considered me. Not even you. and now your asking me, after I’ve been messed up all week if I’m ok?” he scoffed and turned his head away from you “Get out”

you turned your head towards him and widened your eyes in disbelief, how could he do that to you? you were worried the whole time. Could he not see that?

“no.”

“no? Y/n I said get the hell out of my room before I make you” he was fully yelling now, standing on the side of his bed looking at you

you felt small under his stance, tears starting to fall from your eyes and you got up, grabbing your bag and walking towards the door

“I was trying to help you.” your voice was filled with venom and you walked out the door and slammed it behind you, you heard the door open and close but you could care less, you were walking anywhere away from this.

you could feel his presence behind you, feel him watching you.

you turned around and came face to face with him, and you looked up at him with anger written on your face

“what do you want togata.”

he looked taken back by the name but he hung his head low, not giving a answer.

you let out a scoff and kept walking, walking into a empty alley, losing him for a few minutes.

you walked down the alley, now hearing footsteps behind you, you walked forward before a van pulling up stopped you, and before you knew it you were being pulled into a van, screaming for help trying to fight them away.

mirio was still following you when he saw the van pull up, his heart started to race and he ran towards you, but he couldn’t stop you from being pulled into the van and driving away.

it happened in a second, before he could even blink.

someone had taken you, and it was his fault.

poly fic:

you were supposed to be going on a date with your boyfriends tonight, but you were going to be a little late after them. you were working late and told them you’d meet them there.

you got ready quickly and walked to meet them at the restaurant they planned for you to.

some people might think it’s a little weird to be dating more then one person, but for you it worked. one was outgoing and one was the complete opposite, it worked perfectly.

sometimes you did have doubts, I mean where did you take place,? they complimented each other well but how did you take part in that?

you pushed those thoughts down and walked up to the place, looking around for them

when you spotted them you saw them both laughing and smiling, and it hurt. it looked like they’d be fine without you. you put your facade back up and walked over to them, sitting down.

it had went well, but you also noticed that when you arrived, they both didn’t laugh like they had when you saw them. you tried, but nothing seemed to work.

you had a feeling in your gut, and through the night it spread to your whole body, hurting and wrenching in pain, it took a toll on your heart.

When you all had finished, they were a little drunk so you called a cab and you all went home.

When you got home you helped them in bed and sat on the couch, thinking over what happened through the night.

had you been that much of a burden to them? you never noticed it before now. they would be much better without you, they looked so much happier just the two of them.

you started pacing around, going through options in your head

if you stayed it would take a toll on there relationship, you did nothing but hold them back.

but if you left, it would only hurt you.

so you decided, you would leave.

you went into your shared bedroom and quietly grabbed a bag packing your clothes, now that you thought of it you had to keep your clothes in a container under the bed while they had there’s stored in the dresser and closet.

should have seen it coming right?

you finished packing and we’re about to walk out when you heard moving on the bed and you stilled, your hand about to grab the doorknob stopped

“y/n? Where are you going?”

shit, it was mirio.

“nowhere mirio, go back to sleep.”

“why do you have a bag?”

you closed your eyes and eternally cursed at yourself. your body tensed when you heard more noises, great you had woken up tamaki.

“w-what’s going on?”

his voice broke your heart, and all the emotions started coming back up, your heart ached more then it ever had.

you turned your head and met both there eyes, and there’s widened at the sight of your face, it was streaked with tears, your eyes were red and your cheeks and dark shade of pink.

mirio quickly got up and walked over to you, while tamaki started crying along with you, knowing what was happening

“y/n you can’t leave us” mirios voice was sad, he was frowning, and you heard tamakis sobs in the background, breaking your heart even further.

“it wasn’t supposed to be like this, you were supposed to be sleeping.” you hung your head low, not meeting his eye contact.

he reached out for you and you quickly pulled away, he wasn’t going to pull you back in.

“I’m leaving. you are both better off without me. please don’t try to stop me I-I want you both to be happy” crying overtook your body now, you pulled your arms around yourself, trying to find some comfort.

“y/n what are you talk-“ Mirio was quickly interrupted by tamakis cry’s, and he went over to soothe him.

that easy for him to back down huh? seems like you were right.

tamaki cried loudly, shouting at you to stay, saying he needed you just as much as mirio.

you turned opening the door walking away from the crying, you couldn’t take it, you needed to leave now before they could suck you back in

you were about to leave when someone grabbed your arm, turning to see tamakis tear struck face, he stood in the hallway, his quirk holding you in place

mirio came up behind him, eyes wide, tears falling silently

you turned your head away, you couldn’t bare the sight of them like that.

“p-please y/n d-don’t leave!” tamaki said and cried loudly, trying to pull you back with his quirk, but you pulled away harshly, slamming the door behind you

as you walked away, back at the apartment tamaki collapsed on the floor.

where did they go wrong? when had they lost you? you were the love of there life. and to think they were going to propose to you, maybe it’s because of dinner, they were nervous. I mean who wouldn’t be nervous when you were going to ask someone to spend the rest of there life with them?

now, they were alone. without you.

#bnha fanfiction #bnha angst #bnha imagines #tamaki x y/n #mirio x reader #mirio angst #tamaki angst #tamaki x reader #mirio x amajiki #mirio headcanons #tamaki headcanons

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everythingisawayoflife · 3 years

Text

JOSH AND DONNA WEDDING HEADCANONS!!

first of all, josh wakes up, or more likely, is already awake late at night, and calls sam

“i’m gonna do it, sam”

“like now?”

“what’s the likelihood she’ll say yes?”

“at this hour, not likely.”

josh then decides to call toby directly after and is met with a lovely string of sleepy curses about how it is the middle of the night and there was no reason to call him at this “ungodly hour”

he softens when he realizes why josh called so late and that there is a reason

josh acts incredibly weird around donna for the next two weeks

one minute he’s tense with her, the next he’s as clingy as a koala bear

he asks her weird and vague questions—by proxy

he gets cj to subtly mention engagements and marriage subtly to see what donna would like

“my cousin, tracy, she just got engaged.”

“oh really?”

“yeah he asked her in central park.”

“i wouldn’t like that, being around all those strangers. but i guess if you’re in front of friends and family, it wouldn’t be too bad”

*cue cj secretly taking notes*

sam is his test dummy, as in he uses sam to practice proposing to donna

“wow you’re really bad at this”

“i’ve never done this before, sam”

“i have and i can tell you right now you have it all wrong”

sam was actually pretty reluctant but once he found out he was gonna be josh’s best man, he warmed up

josh recruits sam and toby to write a speech of some sorts

he gets so stressed about it, toby slaps him and tells him to pull what little shit he has left together

since we all agree that jed is basically like josh’s second dad, josh goes to bartlet right before he does it

little sidenote: abbey knows because cj let it slip that josh was proposing and because i believe mrs bartlet is the number one josh and donna shipper, she insists the that she’s in on it

abbey throws a dinner party in manchester that is really a disguise for donna’s proposal

donna can’t help but feel like everyone is staring at her

everyone is here: jed, abbey, toby, cj, sam, ginger, bonnie, charlie, ellie, and zoey

after dinner, abbey invites everyone into the parlor for some “celebratory”champagne

in true donna fashion, she asks what their celebrating

everyone directs their eyes to josh because well it’s his fucking turn to speak and he hasn’t said a damn word all night

josh gives his little spiel about his and donna’s relationship (with donna’s little quips in between) until he finally asks her

donna doesn’t say anything at first

then she takes the ring out of his hand, studies it, then puts it back in his hand

he thinks that it means no and so does everyone else (abbey’s silently cursing) and his eyes even start to well up despite him not wanting them to

“well, are you just gonna look at or am i gonna be the future mrs. josh lyman?”

the look on josh’s face was a mix of relief, love, and happiness—to donna, it was priceless

they kiss of course

abbey is the first to see donna’s ring

which, of course, looks like this:

josh loves saying “my fiancée”

donna secretly (not so secretly) also loves saying “my fiancé”

SUMMER WEDDING (specifically the middle of august)

abbey insists they hold the wedding at the bartlet farm and while josh initially declines, abbey sits him and down and tells him they’re gonna get married under this roof or “so help me god”

SIDENOTE: this is really me letting my inner wedding planner (and chronic self-projector) out of me so prepare yourself

PEONIES & GARDENIAS (gardenias are my favorite flower)

donna was one of those who dreamed of a white wedding but it clearly didn’t go to plan

SHE’S the one calming down josh because he absolutely is going berserk and is panicking

abbey becomes donna’s right-hand woman, going dress shopping with her and giving her advice as a former bride and current wife

donna is superstitious—she goes by the now famous rhyme something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue

her something old is a pearl necklace from her mom

her something new is a little belt that goes around the waist of her dress

something borrowed is a pink ribbon her childhood best friend tied around her wedding bouquet

the something blue are these little blue earring studs josh got for her before they were engaged

abbey helps donna pick out her dress along with cj, ginger, her mother, and bonnie

she eventually picks this dress:

AFTERNOON WEDDING

(i actually used this game to design the dress that i felt suited donna—go to azaleasdolls.com and go to exclusive games, scroll a little, and there should be that wedding game)

to be frank, i do not know what the respective bachelor and bachelorette parties would be like, but i know i would prefer to be at the bachelorette party

donna starts crying right before she has to walk down the aisle but manages to pull herself together before walking out

sidenote: jed would gladly walk donna down the aisle if her father could somehow not make it (thats just a cute one bc donna and jed friendship is totally underrated)

i’m telling you right now, this is one of the only times josh lyman has cried in front of people

he sees her walking to him and he just mentally kicks himself because he didn’t see what was so perfectly clear for everyone else

god he loves her

when donna gets next to him, she whispers “stop blubbering or you’re gonna make me ruin my makeup”

the wedding vows are unbelievably so josh and donna-esque

even sam starts crying a little bit

charlie likes to bring it up but sam denies it ever happened

“my allergies just happened to be very inflamed that day and i had spring fever”

“sam it was the dead of summer”

RECEPTION TIMEEEEE

sam’s best man speech is a little drunk but who cares it’s funny and josh and donna watch back the tape in their free time after they first get married

they have a fairly decent sized wedding

guests consist of family, friends, former and current staffers

when they cut the cake, donna 100% smashed a piece in josh’s face

it was a vanilla, three-tier cake and it was gorgeous

in response, he gently dotted her nose with frosting before absolutely demolishing a piece on her face

their first dance is to just the way you are by billy joel bc i really like that song and i’m self projecting again

josh LOVES saying “my wife”

it is “my wife this” and “my wife that”

and donna wonders why she married the dork

she takes his last name but also keeps her so she becomes Donna Moss-Lyman

she does typically go by mrs. lyman when being addressed though (she thinks it has a nice ring to it)

THEY HONEYMOONED IN ITALY—i’m talking the amalfi coast (i’m only saying that because i just happen to be a huge harry styles fan and that’s where the golden mv was filmed and we’re getting sidetracked so that was just a little tidbit)

they went to rome and to that statue thing audrey hepburn and gregory peck put their hands into in Roman Holiday

y’know this one:

in conclusion, the wedding was very beautiful and josh and donna really got the wedding of their dreams

also sidenote just because: josh and donna have three lovely children, two girls and one boy

also this post is dedicated to @stars-on-the-cuffs-of-her-jeans and @meanderingstream who inspired me to write this!

#the west wing #josh x donna #donna x josh #josh lyman #donna moss #josh and donna wedding supremacy!!#wedding hcs #sam seaborn #abbey bartlet #jed bartlet #toby ziegler #cj cregg #sidenote this took two days #pls dont let this flop i worked really hard on it #charlie young

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obsidianfr3sk · 3 years

Text

true colors

@renegadesnet event 10: pride

↪ [ “But everything was temporary. And pain was one of those things. Well, except love. Everything but love was temporary. Or that was what he liked to believe.” ]

Summary: Two years after the supernova, after Tamaya notified them the gearboxes that contained the lights had gotten soaked and that she needed the money to buy more before the next day (June 1st), Simon realized they were not enough for him anymore.

Simon wanted a bigger flag.

No. He wanted two. The biggest pride flags he could find.

AO3

Hello, friends!! I hope you’ve been having an excellent pride month and have been eating a lot rainbow cake and pissing off a lot of conservatives with the mere fact of your wonderful existence:’) As my contribution to this month and the event organized by @renegadesnet, I decided to write a fic focused on my favorite gay dads and their sons (bc I’m me, and you should have seen this coming.)

Before you read, I want to give a trigger warning: at the start of a fic I talk about a homophobic attack, which is not graphic or violent per se (it’s someone in the middle of the night taking away the flag they put outiside the house), and I do discuss about internalized homophobia during some parts of the story. If you read it and are sensitive to this kind of stuff, proceed with caution and take care of yourself <3

Also, this entry is a collaboration with my talented mother @healing-winston-pratt, who is going to be uploading some fanart of this in a near future, so keep an eye on that👀 she’s the best skjhkjds thank you for accepting to collaborate, I feel this is a great bonding activity and I hope we can do this more often✨

I need to update my tag list because a lot of the people who were included are not active as active as they were before/changed their URLs. But I’m going to tag @the-wee-woo-rita @lackadae @all-weather-is-bad @chiyuki-hiro bc you guys are the only ones who are still active users who I had on my previous tag list lol

With that said, I hope you enjoy this fic. I think that despite the angsty parts, it came out really fluffy and domestic, it was fun to write. And to all my queer silbings who are reading this: I am very proud of you.

But I see your true colors shining through.

I see your true colors, and that's why I love you.

So don't be afraid to let them show.

Your true colors,

true colors are beautiful like a rainbow

Simon couldn’t remember a time when he didn’t know he was gay.

There was a time when he didn’t know he was gay, of course. He was probably too young to even comprehend the meaning behind that word. And there was also a moment in his life when he felt embarrassed about it, and sad, and angry, and really, really scared, and probably thought that no matter how hard he tried, he was never going to be happy living the life he wanted to live.

That the pain was never going to end. That he was going to be miserable for the rest of his existence, and that maybe, there was no point in existing if he was going to stay like that until the day he died.

But everything was temporary. And pain was one of those things.

Well, except love. Everything but love was temporary. Or that was what he liked to believe.

That was the reason why, the first year after the Day of Triumph, he told Hugh they should get a rainbow flag for their house. They went to one of the first stores that opened at the mall (that had just been remodeled after twenty years of being abandoned) and bought one at a not so affordable price. Simon offered himself to install it on one of the fence pillars and had to spend thirty minutes listening to Hugh telling him that maybe he should let him do it, that the ladder Kasumi had lent them was ratty, and that Simon was going to fall.

Fortunately, Simon didn’t. He did almost fall, though, when he was about to pass out from stress because seeing Hugh getting all anxious, made Adrian cry and he started to basically beg him to come down, given that now he was convinced he was going to fall, and hearing his dad saying “Look what you’ve done to the kid, Simon” didn’t help at all to make Adrian (or Simon) feel better.

That night, there was a thunderstorm and Adrian used it as an excuse to sleep on their bed. As soon as he cried himself to sleep, two hours later, after their dads did everything in their power to calm him down, hugging him, giving him kisses, and assuring him his aunt Tamaya wasn’t going to let the storm hurt them, Simon raised his hand to high-five Hugh and tell him that they were amazing parents, just to realize he was already asleep. Simon silently judged him for sleeping so soundly while his son was having a crisis instead of sleeping.

When he woke up (at five in the morning) Adrian was looking out their window, with the Baby Indomitable blanket on his shoulders. The sky was still cloudy, but it wasn’t raining anymore.

“Darling, what are you doing?,” Simon told him. “Today’s Sunday. Let your daddy and I get some more sleep—”

“The storm took our flag,” Adrian blurred out.

Hugh was already awake too. “What?”

“You said the storm wasn’t going to hurt us,” Adrian said, turning around to see them, “but the storm took our flag.”

Simon got out of bed, looked through the window...

And, yes, the flag was completely gone.

But for some reason, Simon knew it hadn’t been the storm.

“Why would the storm do something like this?” Adrian asked.

Simon didn’t know how to answer that. Luckily, Hugh did.

“Because the storm is homophobic, son.”

Adrian laughed out loud and then asked his dads if they could have pancakes for breakfast. He had already forgotten about the storm and the flag.

They didn’t. Neither of them ever forgot about it.

While Simon and Adrian ate their pancakes, Hugh went to his office because, according to him, he needed to check something. When Adrian finished his breakfast and went back to his dads’ room to watch TV, Simon stayed in the kitchen, doing the dishes, and Hugh finally came downstairs. He was pretty quiet, and Simon thought that it probably was because he had told him to eat the burnt pancakes he didn’t dare to throw away, but after he finished them all, he said:

“I lied.”

Simon threw a glance at him. “When did you lie?”

“When I said the storm was homophobic,” Hugh answered.

“Well, of course, you lied, love. Storms don’t have strong political opinions about gay people.”

Hugh didn’t laugh. “What I mean is— that it wasn’t the storm.”

Every joke Simon’s brain could come up with disappeared at that moment. So he continued doing the dishes, and Hugh, thinking he hadn’t made himself clear, continued talking.

“It was someone else. It was a person. I saw them on—”

“I know,” Simon interrupted him. “I know. I’ve always known.”

But even if Simon knew, he still told Hugh to show him the footage because four eyes were better than two (especially considering that the owner of those first two eyes needed to wear glasses). It was all useless, though; the storm made the image all blurry, and the only thing they could see was someone taking it and running away in the middle of the night.

Simon wanted to think that it was just some dumb teen whose friends had challenged him to do it. But when it came to things like those one never really knew.

On Monday, they had promised Adrian to take him to the park that was a few blocks away so they could teach him how to fly a kite, but the thought of going out made him feel as if something bad was going to happen to them if they did, so Simon told Adrian that he and Hugh were feeling sick and that they would stay in their room to get some rest. Adrian asked them if they minded that he stayed there too because he was in the middle of watching a movie he had never seen before.

“Only if we can watch it with you,” Simon answered.

It was a weird day to be alive. They really just stayed there, watching silly cartoons with their kid and listening to him ranting about the weird proportions those characters had.

During the afternoon, Adrian told them he was hungry, so Simon went downstairs to look for something they could eat. He was thinking that maybe they should order something from that Chinese restaurant Tamaya had taken him the other day, when Hugh entered the kitchen and told him Adrian had asked him if he could bring him water.

Simon felt his hands were trembling while he looked inside his wallet for the paper where he had written the restaurant’s phone number.

“Do you want to get another flag?” Hugh asked him.

And something hurt.

Something hurt inside of him. Something started to cry, and to scream, and to flicker, trying to make him invisible to the world.

And it told him, the same way Adrian had told him he was hungry, that someone had taken him by surprise and made a deep cut on his chest.

But Simon didn’t allow it to come out.

He just said: “No.”

And Hugh answered him: “Me neither.”

He called the Chinese restaurant to order some food, while Simon went to their room with Adrian again and cuddled with him, trying to tend to the wounds of that something that was bleeding out inside of him.

Little Simon was crying, and screaming, and flickering, and needed adult Simon to take care of him.

The next day, they talked about the incident with the rest of the Council during their lunch break. It was one of those few occasions the six of them were together in the same room during their work hours. Tamaya was furious about the flag situation. She ranted for a good five minutes without anyone interrupting her about how fucking horrible people were and that she was going to find that little piece of shit and cut his hands off. Kasumi nodded in approval while drinking some horchata she had bought for herself, probably thinking about how to ask Tamaya to let her join her revolution (something she didn’t need to do, since Tamaya always included Kasumi in everything she did). Evander, on the other hand, was very quiet, something that made him feel a little bit relieved because he was not a sensitive person and Simon didn’t want him to... Evander the situation.

He didn’t say anything insensitive that day, though.

In fact, he said something… helpful, even.

“What about a flag made of light?”

Hugh rubbed his eyes and Simon knew what he was going to say before he opened his mouth.

Because he said that phrase constantly.

“Shut the fuck up, Evander.”

But Evander didn’t shut up. “Dude, think about it. No one would be able to take down a flag made of light.”

And everyone realized that, now, it was not only one of those strange occasions when the six of them got together to have lunch during their work hours; it was also one of those strange occasions when Evander had an idea that was actually good.

So after spending another hour discussing how they were going to make it work, they decided they were going to lit up the building in rainbow-colored lights.

Tamaya and Hugh were the ones in charge of almost all the operation because Evander said he had already given them the idea, so he didn’t need to do anything else (and then got mad at Hugh when he told the media he was the one who came up with it). Kasumi helped them, but was especially insistent about putting a trans pride flag somewhere in the building, and after they agreed with her, she personally hung it on the main entrance of Headquarters.

They started turning the lights on each night of June since that yeat.

Hugh and Simon still didn’t get a flag. Three nights after they told their friends about what had happened during the thunderstorm, Simon was woken up by the sound of someone crashing against the trash cans and almost jumped out of the window with his dagger on hand to slay whoever was trying to break into their house, but when he peeked out to see what was going on, he realized the “robber” was Kasumi, who had put a bunch of small pride flags on some pots they kept on their porch and started crying as soon as she realized Simon was watching her, not because she was upset the surprise she had for them had been ruined, but because now she was covered in trash.

(That week was like a sign Georgie was sending them from the afterlife to tell them they needed to install a better security system.)

Those were the only flags they kept around the house. They were small and discreet, and, most importantly, no one had taken them away. Why? Well— because they listened to Georgie’s sign and installed a better security system. Not because there weren’t any more homophobes out there who were willing to do it.

Until that moment, those flags (the little ones Kasumi had given them in a rather unconventional way and the one made of light that Evander had come up with) had been more than enough for them. But, two years after the supernova, after Tamaya notified them the gearboxes that contained the lights had gotten soaked and that she needed the money to buy more before the next day (June 1st), Simon realized they were not enough for him anymore.

Simon wanted a bigger flag.

No. He wanted two.

The biggest pride flags he could find.

***

That was the reason why, after having pancakes for breakfast (because it had rained during the night), he took the car, took the other three people living in that house with him, and after he was able to read the map, they arrived at a store that, among other things, sold flags like the ones they were looking for.

“I want one too,” Adrian told them when they were at the flag section of the store. “For my room, you know. And I want to get ones for Danna and Nova because I don’t think they have any. They would’ve told me.”

Usually, when Adrian asked for something Simon hadn’t agreed to buy him, like some candy, an action figure, or a pair of sneakers, he would turn around and ask him if he had the money to buy any of those things himself, which would anger him so much he would stop wanting that certain thing.

But that day, he felt like buying them everything they wanted. As if money grew on trees (something he always told his kids didn’t happen.)

“Of course, darling,” he answered, “get them everything you want. It’s pride month.”

“It’s May 31th,” Max said. He was inside the shopping cart Hugh had grabbed the second they entered. It was something he always did, even if they weren’t going to buy a lot of things because, according to him, it felt weird and wrong not to.

“It’s almost pride month,” he corrected himself.

“So can I get something for Nova?” Adrian asked again, just to make sure.

“You can get something for Nova,” Hugh assured him, smiling a little bit.

Adrian quickly turned around and started looking for the flag he wanted while texting Nova about something Simon couldn’t read (not like he was trying to, anyway).

After making sure Adrian stayed on the same aisle as them, they started walking around, gazing at the flags and posters available. Simon felt pretty progressive because he was able to name every single sexuality and gender they were supposed to represent. He imagined Hugh was doing the same thing, but with a lot more difficulty than him. He kept his eyes fixated on each flag longer than Simon did, as if he were trying to remember what they meant, and when he did, he pushed the cart (with Max still inside of it, playing a game on Hugh’s phone because he had forgotten his tablet at home), and the cycle began again.

But suddenly, Simon saw ones that he didn’t recognize.

After three seconds of standing in front of those little flags, someone hit him in the butt with their cart. He turned around immediately, ready to say a really threatening “Hey” to whoever had done it.

Hugh was the only other person who was there. He had been the one who had hit him with the cart.

Suddenly, Simon felt a little bit stupid for thinking someone else had done it.

The two of them maintained eye contact for a couple of seconds until Hugh started looking at his own hands grabbing the cart’s handle.

“Simon.” Before Simon could ask him what happened, he added, with a deep voice: “Move.”

Simon didn’t move. Instead, he hit the cart with his hips, just out of spite. Hugh hit him again with it, making Simon feel the unexpected need to grab the cart with his two hands and use his own weapon against him, but Max was there and they couldn’t act like kids in front of him. So he just hit the cart with his hips again, a little bit harder than the first time, and left it there.

He realized he was just going to be wasting his time asking Hugh if he knew what that flag was supposed to represent.

“Cherub,” he called Max. “Do you recognize this flag?”

Max looked up from the screen. He usually didn’t like it when he called him “cherub” in public, but this time, he didn’t seem mad about it. “Um… no? Ask Adrian—” and continued playing.

Adrian came back with a basket full of pins, and for a second, Simon almost asked him if he really was that naive to believe he was actually going to pay for all of them. But then, he realized that it was only the basket where they kept all of the pins they sold and that Adrian had taken it to show them to them.

“Look, they have so many pins here—” he started taking random pins “—this is the aromantic flag… this is the genderfluid flag—”

“Interesting,” Hugh interrupted him, “but which flag is that one?” and pointed at the one Simon didn’t recognize.

Max took a random pin from the basket and started looking at it with curiosity. Adrian almost didn’t pay attention to it, and after a few seconds, he said: “That one’s yours.”

Simon frowned and took one. It was a handheld flag with green and blue stripes, with a white one in the middle. He touched the polyester with his fingertips as if that was going to give him the ability to communicate with it.

“But we don’t have a flag,” Hugh told Adrian. “I’ve heard of the lesbian fl—”

Adrian took a pin of the lesbian flag. “This one.”

“Yeah— but gay men don’t have one.”

“The rainbow is ours,” Simon said, without taking his eyes away from the blue and green flag he was holding. “Like, it’s for all queer people.”

Hugh directed his attention to Adrian again. “You’re messing with us.”

“I do mess with you a lot,” Adrian admitted, “but this time I’m not because if I do and you get mad, you won’t buy me all the stuff I want to get.”

“Huh.”

Simon knew Adrian and Max were a lot of things, but "dumb" wasn't one of those. And Adrian was especially intelligent when it came to convincing his parents to buy him things.

So he decided to believe him.

“Well, I like it,” he said. Then, he asked Hugh: “Do you like it?”

Hugh grabbed one and observed it for a while. “I like that it has blue on it,” he finally answered, nodding a little bit.

Simon noticed Max was spacing out while playing with the pin he had taken, so he waved the flag on his face, making him laugh and sneeze because the damn thing had a lot of invisible dust Simon didn't notice at first.

“Oh, sh—”

“You know? Maybe we should get two of these,” Hugh said, waving it too, but in his case, not on the face of one of their kids. “For our offices.”

“Matching flags, very romantic.”

Max rubbed his nose. “Why don't you get a big one for the house?”

Simon quickly started to look everywhere on that aisle, and he saw a lot of big versions of the flags he had recognized before (and some of the ones Adrian had mentioned), but there were no gay flags in sight.

“Maybe next year, I guess,” he shrugged. “I don't think they have them here yet.”

He grabbed two of the rainbow flags that were there, inside their respective plastic bags, gave them to Max, and he put them on his lap, still holding that pin. Simon made a quick mental note to remind his future self they needed to pay for that (he didn’t know if it had to with the fact that Max had been spending a lot of time with Maggie, Nova’s sister, but he had developed this weird habit of stealing the most random objects one could think of. Luckily, he limited himself to stealing things from his dads and, one time, from a store.) (Kids went through weird phases when they were Max’s age.)

(Because… it was a phase, right?)

Adrian received a text. “Danna says that she already has a flag, so I’m getting her a pin,” he said after reading it. “And Nova says she wants one too.” Then, his whole face lit up. “And I could get one too so we match.”

“Copycat,” Simon accused him, jokingly. “Your dad and I got matching flags, and now you want to get matching pins with your girlfriend.”

Hugh shook his head, disappointed. “I cannot believe you have betrayed your own family like this.”

They stayed at the store another 30 minutes to buy some other things they needed for the house, and from time to time, when he or Hugh grabbed something, they pretended they didn’t see Adrian and said: “Um, but the copycat may be listening” to a point he told them to stop, and refused to forgive them until they agreed to buy him the flag he didn’t intend to get anymore, but now was going to.

He got the last bisexual flag there was at that store.

***

The first time the four of them were together in their room was last June. Something went wrong with the A/C system of the entire house and the only room where one could stay without having a heatstroke was theirs because their A/C hadn’t broken down for some reason. Adrian and Max were sleeping on the air mattress until Simon (who hadn’t been able to sleep lately) heard that one of them woke up and asked Hugh something. He sat down on the bed, at the same time Hugh moved a little bit to allow Adrian to lay down between the two of them.

Then, in the middle of the dark, his eyes met Max’s.

He looked tiny. Young. Pretty young.

And far away.

Simon couldn’t remember who did it. He didn’t remember who talked that night. It could have been him, even. But he was sure that, at that moment, someone whispered:

“Get in here, kid.”

And Max obeyed. He crawled, raised his arms towards them, and Hugh grabbed him carefully by the collar of his shirt and placed him between him and Adrian.

It was a peaceful night. The bed was big enough for the four of them, and Simon was able to sleep and actually rest for the first time in weeks.

At least until their A/C turned off with a weird sound, and the four of them woke up at the same time, sweaty, uncomfortable, and almost at 11 AM, not because they weren’t necessarily willing to stay there longer, but because the heat was starting to get unbearable and suddenly the bed was too small for three adults and a little kid that was not that little anymore.

“This isn’t a room, this is a— a freaking oven,” Hugh said, while Adrian tried to push him out of bed to get the hell out of there and seek comfort on the air mattress he had abandoned in the middle of the night.

“And we are the... cookies,” Max giggled.

“The turkey,” Simon added.

Max turned around. His whole face was red and his hair was a little bit wet. “The lasagna.”

Simon grabbed him by the cheeks; a discreet way to check if he had a fever. “The cake.”

“The ham.”

“The—”

“Dad. Move.”

Later that day, Simon called someone to fix the A/C, and that was the end of the story.

When they arrived at the house, Adrian wanted to hang his flag as soon as possible, on one of his room’s walls, but Simon insisted that they should iron it first so it looked nicer. Hugh said that he was planning on ironing the ones they had bought for the house and offered Adrian to do the same with his, but when he insinuated that he didn’t trust him enough not to mess up his flag the same way he had messed up his favorite shirt (the one he wanted to wear to take Nova to a nice place during her birthday), Hugh reminded him that the only reason he kept doing that for him was that Adrian didn’t know how to iron yet, and decided that he was going to use that moment as a teaching opportunity. Max made the mistake of laughing at his brother when he thought no one was paying attention to him, but Adrian was and dragged Max into the teaching opportunity with him.

Simon joined too. Just because.

And suddenly, the four of them were in their room again.

With the A/C on, of course.

He didn't know if Hugh had noticed, but he had been so invested in his own explanation, that after he finished ironing the two rainbow flags, he started ironing Adrian’s without realizing it. Adrian, instead of giving up and stop pretending he was paying attention, was looking, kind of mesmerized, how he opened the bag of his blue, purple, and magenta flag, and proceeded to put it on the ironing board, now telling him that when Georgie had tried to teach him how to iron his clothes, she accidentally burnt Evander.

Simon was half-listening to the story, half-listening to the music video that Max was watching on the TV. He was sitting on a big and old ottoman they had bought a long time ago but had never found the perfect place to put it and just stayed there for years until they forgot about it. Max was in front of him, sitting on the floor and resting his back on the ottoman, while he covered his blond hair with small butterfly hair clips he had found at the store and bought just because he thought they were cute (who knows, maybe Nova wanted them for Maggie, or Kasumi could use them for herself, she loved them when she was little).

When all the hair clips were on Max's hair, he took a small mirror they kept in the bathroom (but Simon borrowed it for a minute) and gave it to him so he could see the final result.

“Look at me,” Max exclaimed, laughing. “I look so pretty.”

Simon grabbed one of the hair clips and pulled it a little. “Butterfly hair clips are a popular trend this time of the year.”

“This is definitely going to make me the most popular kid in the playground.”

“Definitely.”

He leaned forward to start taking the butterfly hair clips off Max's hair and was putting them on Max’s open hand when he noticed that he hadn’t let go of the pin they bought him at the store.

(Simon did remember to pay for the thing, but if he hadn’t done it, Max wouldn’t have said anything.)

“That was really nice of you,” Simon said.

Max looked at him, confused. “What?”

“Getting a rainbow pin—” he took his other hand and started putting the hair clips on it so none of them would get lost “—to show support.”

Max didn't say anything and Simon continued with what he was doing. After the music video finished, and another one started playing, Hugh gave Adrian his flag and told him he could go and hang it in his room, and as soon as Max heard that too, he gave Simon the hair clips and followed his brother out of the room, asking him if he could help him with it.

Simon, after realizing the bag where the hair clips came in had been destroyed by Max punching holes in it with the pin, took one of the empty pill bottles he kept in his drawers and put them there.

He closed the pill bottle and realized Hugh had been gazing at him during all this time, slightly leaning on the ironing board. “What?”

“That’s my pill bottle, Si,” he told him.

“Ah—” Simon pressed his lips “—can I have it?”

“No.” Hugh smiled at him. “Yes, you can.”

“So funny. Come here—” and patted the bed mattress.

Hugh, being extremely careful not to touch the flags he just ironed, lied on the bed and sighed.

“Do you want me to play with your hair?” Simon asked him with a soft voice.

He closed his eyes and nodded.

After a while of the two of them just being silent, he said, “Hey… I heard what you told Max, by the way.”

“The butterfly hair clips trend?”

“The pin thing.”

“What about it?”

Hugh opened his eyes, just a little bit. “Just don't tell Max I told you, all right? Because he told me he wouldn't tell anyone else until he was sure, but… I think it's important the two of us know,” he explained.

Simon was starting to feel his palms get a little bit sweaty. “Okay— but just tell me, please.”

He checked overhearing their conversation one last time, and that the kids were still at Adrian's room. “Max told me a couple of days ago that he has been thinking about… what he likes.”

He stopped playing with his hair for a second. But then, he continued.

It was his way of coping with the feeling of his stomach twisting inside of him. “What he likes?” Hugh nodded again. “Huh. And has he— does he has an idea or—”

“No, he doesn't,” Hugh answered. “He just knows that he doesn't like girls. Or that's what he told me.”

Simon raised his eyebrows and scoffed. “That sounds like a lot of things. Not liking girls.”

Hugh scoffed too. “That's what I told him. And that he can take all the time he needs to figure it out. Because he can—”

“Yes. Yes, of course, he can,” Simon assured, with determination. “Life is longer than we think it is.”

They stayed silent again. And Simon couldn’t help but feel relive inside his head the moment he called Max an ally, feeling his stomach twisting even more at every second it passed.

“I feel bad.”

“Why?”

His palms started to sweat again. “Because I called him an ally.”

“It’s all right. You didn’t know.”

“I shouldn’t have assumed anything.”

“You didn’t know,” Hugh repeated.

But Simon didn’t listen. “Si.”

Then, Hugh grabbed him carefully by the wrist, and, a little bit surprised, Simon tilted his head. Hugh usually didn't interrupt him when he was playing with his hair.

“What's wrong?” he asked.

“No, what’s wrong with you?” he deadpanned

Simon knew him well enough to know he wasn’t trying to be rude. It was just his way of asking things. Especially when he was genuinely worried and didn’t think about modulating his tone so it It fitted the situation better.

He sighed. Because he didn’t want to lie to him. “I assumed Max was straight.”

As soon as he said it, he realized how silly it had sounded phrased like that. But he also noticed his voice had broken and he had to put a hand on his mouth so he didn’t start crying.

And Hugh, instead of saying the encouraging phrase he expected him to say…

He smiled.

And for some reason, that made him want to cry even more. “Ew, why are you smiling?” he asked.

Hugh took his time to answer him. “Oh, it’s nothing. I think I'm just… happy.”

“Well, I’m not.”

Hugh smiled more. “I know, love, I know… It's just one of those things…” he tried to find the right words this time. “One of those things I didn't think we were going to go through together,” he kept saying. “Like… we're going to be together when Max finally discovers who he really is. Like we did with Adrian. And like other people did with us. And that makes me happy.”

Simon wanted to tell him to shut up and let him cry and be dramatic as much as he wanted because he considered he deserved it. But he tried to do it, the only thing that could come out of his lips was almost imperceptible “Yeah…” and then, a small tear started running down his face. Hugh quickly noticed this and wiped it away with his finger. Simon scoffed and looked away, rubbing his nose.

“Hey…” and he moved aside so Simon could lay beside him.

The space they had was a little too small but he didn’t mind because now he had an excuse to be closer to him.

And there it was again. Little Simon. Little Simon was there again with them.

Just that this time he wasn’t crying, or screaming, or even flickering. He was just… existing.

And all he wanted to do was to exist.

When Hugh held him that way, sometimes he felt as if it was the first time he did it. Which made Simon (and the sad, angry and scared part of Simon) wonder if there was a sad, angry and scared part of Hugh that also craved that comfort and validation, and if it was the one who hugged that younger version of Simon until they convinced each other that everything was fine.

That there was nothing wrong with neither of them.

Because sometimes it was as if people didn’t remind them that as many times as they needed. So the only option they had was to be there for the other, and tell him that it was okay to hug, to kiss, to touch, and to share until the one who was talking ended up convincing both of them.

Love wasn’t temporary.

And their love was as powerful as they wanted it to be.

Those younger versions of themselves wanted to stay like that forever every single time. But their adult versions knew they couldn’t do it because they had other responsibilities that they needed to attend.

Installing those two pride flags that were next to them, for example.

Their younger versions were excited to do that, but they also asked them if they could rest together a little bit longer. And neither of them had the heart to tell them no.

Hugh started to play with a lock of Simon’s hair. “We’ll be there to catch him.”

He knew he wasn’t talking about either of them. Even if, with his eyes closed, he could see little Hugh and little Simon holding each other’s hands and throwing themselves into the world, a little less sad, and angry, and scared than before, without being sure if there was going to be someone down there to catch them if everything went wrong.

“Together.”

And Simon agreed. “Together.”

***

“He’s going to fall.”

Simon rolled his eyes.

“No, he’s not,” Hugh told Max. “I’m here.”

“But what if—”

“Done,” Simon announced before Max could even finish his sentence. “Now, let’s just hope these things stay there as long as possible, because this ladder makes me anxious. I was trembling while putting the first flag.”

Max clicked his tongue. “It’s a windy day. The wind could have pushed the ladder or something.”

Now it was Hugh’s turn to roll his eyes. “Take my hand.”

Simon went down the ladder without letting go of his hand. Then, while Hugh took it and quickly went inside the garage to put it there, Adrian pricked his little brother up with his own rainbow flag pin, and in response, Max punched him in the stomach with all his might (which wasn’t that much). Adrian laughed and pretended to be hurt, but immediately asked him if he wanted him to help him with his pin.

Simon noticed that Adrian had already put his pin of the bisexual flag on his clothes, and watching him pull Max a little bit closer so he didn’t prink him again (now by accident), while Max gazed at his hands, trying to memorize his movements so he could do the same thing when he wanted to wear that pin again, made his mouth curved into a smile.

When his husband came back from the garage, he thought he was going to tell them to stop blocking the sidewalk and get in the house so they could continue with their day. But instead of doing that, he walked towards them and looked at their waving flags, flying on their mansion for the first time in years.

Adrian grabbed Max by the waist and carried him on his shoulders so he could have a better view. And he realized that there would be a day when they would throw themselves into the world completely alone, without knowing how people were going to act and aware that two of them were brave enough to take whatever blows that they were going to throw at them.

But they weren’t going to do it alone. Because Hugh, Simon, and their hurting parts weren’t going to spend a day without reminding them that they were going to be there, ready to catch them every single time they needed it.

Simon started to look for Hugh’s hand just to realize, Hugh was already looking for his too, and when they found each other, he couldn’t contain himself and stood on his tiptoes to kiss him on the cheek. Then, Hugh smiled and kissed him back, this time, on the corner of his lip.

Simon felt proud of what they were.

He was really proud.

And he hoped they were proud too.

#renegades #archenemies #supernova #renegades trilogy #hugh everhart #simon westwood #adrian everhart #max everhart #everhart-westwood family #the warden and the captain are sitting in a tree #obsi's writs #i should get an oscar for the homophobic storm joke

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faerielleart · 3 years

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Hi sorry you don’t have to answer this! But I’ve seen you speak about LGBTQ+ and from my understanding you are a part? So I want to ask I have been dealing with my self identity and struggles and I want to ask if you can share experiences and how you find out since I think I am not straight to be sure… Thank you I hope this ask doesn’t put you in uncomfortable place.

yo anon hello!! 👋 no worries, i’m not in any way uncomfortable and i’m always happy to help if i can

first of all, keep in mind that not everyone’s experiences are the same and what i went through in my journey to exploring my sexual identity might be completely different from what someone else went through, hence take what i say with a huge grain of salt and know that everyone’s experiences are perfectly valid

alright hhhhh well my story’s pretty funny actually LMAO i think i already answered this some other time iirc? but yeah i started “having doubts” in middle school. i wasn’t interested in boys, i was genuinely meh in front of any dude my female friends found cute, i never thought about dating and i never thought about marriage. some people (my family) called me a “late bloomer”, my classmates secretly made fun of me for being “gay”.

thing is, i was obviously gay but i didnt know at the time- however everyone else did 💀💀💀 i was out there saying shit like “i wish men didn’t exist” “i wish the planet was only populated by women” and stuff like that on the DAILY and each time my classmates looked at me like 👁👄👁 and it was like the class’ inside joke that i wasn’t a part of. i was bullying victim unfortunately and i was the class punching bag 🚶‍♀️

one day, i was at my (at the time) best friend’s birthday party and all the girls in class were invited with some boys to her house. i remember we were playing truth or dare, my turn came and i chose truth; there was this girl who hated me with all her heart for no reason whatsoever and loved humiliating me while pretending to be my friend and i was too much of a pushover to say anything to her, anyway bitch started laughing and yelled in front of everyone “IS IT TRUE THAT YOU’RE A LESBIAN?????” and i was ,,,,, pretty much shocked. firstly i thought that was a dirty word, i had never known lesbians irl and i only knew gay men and i kinda associated lesbians with something taboo? i think i was maybe 11 or 12 years old but it was all peer influence, i was lucky to have parents who were never homophobic and never taught me to hate? so this “hesitation” towards this word was something that was instilled into me by my schoolmates who treated it as if it was something shameful and to make fun of. anyway, i told that girl to mind her own business and i was silent and sulking for the rest of the party.

several days later i was at the mall with my parents who asked me what was wrong bc i had been behaving weirdly since the party and i remember telling them exactly “we were playing a game and [girl’s name] asked me if i were…” and i didn’t finish the sentence. “if you were?” and i still was hesitant to answer but then i said “gay” in a really small voice and i remember getting super flustered and feeling so embarrassed?? and my parents just looked at each other and i think that was the start of everything lol in the next years through middle and high school i was so confused about myself i was refusing to label myself bc i thought i was “figuring myself out” and for a long while i thought i was bisexual. i used to tell my ex best friend about these doubts that i had and she was always a bit weird about it 🧍‍♀️

she randomly asked me shit like “do you wanna have sex with a guy? if you had a boyfriend would you have sex with him? would you suck his dick?” and shit like that and i always was so embarrassed about answering those questions? because my answer was always a straight up no, but i thought something was wrong with me if i didnt wanna do stuff with men. despite that, i still didnt truly question my attraction to men, i just went “yeah i mean all girls secretly think that men are ugly right that’s normal” for SO MANY YEARS LOL i thought everyone had the same experience??? i reached the point where i was 100% sure of my attraction to girls and i was forcing myself to be attracted to men as well bc “that’s the right thing for me”. i forced myself to be enthusiastic when my friends talked about boyfriends, i forced myself to pretend to have a crush on celebrities and THIS IS SO EMBARRASSING BUT LIKE ONE TIME I WAS WATCHING THIS TV SHOW WITH MY MOM AND THERE WAS I THINK ORLANDO BLOOM AS A GUEST AND I GOT THE IDEA OF PRETENDING TO BE HAPPY TO SEE HIM BC I THOUGHT HE WAS “THE MOST BEAUTIFUL MAN EVER” AND I SPENT LIKE HALF AN HOUR INSISTENTLY TELLING MY MOM “LOOK AT HIM HE IS SO ATTRACTIVE OH I AM SO IN LOVE WITH HIM” TO SHOW MY MOM I LIKED MEN 💀💀💀💀💀💀 I DID THAT A LOT IT’S LIKE I WANTED VALIDATION FOR IT i want to bury myself in sand thinking of this

anyway after an extremely failed coming out to my grandma whom i saw for the first time ever expressing disgust at the thought of me potentially being attracted to women i was terrified to do it again and i refused to tell any other member of my family. i still haven’t truly come out and i don’t think i ever will tbh even if i know my parents would love me and accept me regardless i still think of my grandma’s reaction and i start legit crying whenever i think of that

march 2020 comes and i finally accept that i am a lesbian. how did that happen? i was watching harry potter and i went “holy shit i wanna fuck hermione” literally that’s it nothing else. nothing else. that was that. that’s how i knew 100% i was a lesbian and i was tired of pretending i wasn’t. don’t ask me why, don’t ask me how but that’s literally what happened.

and that’s when everything started making sense tbh? like i just felt as if i had a huge huge burden lifted off myself for the first time ever? i said it out loud and i felt happy? the more i said it, the happier i felt? through the years i had always known deep down i didn’t like men, i was just pretending i was, comp-het was hitting me SO HARD and then finally i stopped letting it influence me.

what helped me was asking myself extremely specific questions after that to be sure, in the same fashion my ex bestie used to be weird about it when i “came out” to her. i imagined myself in really specific situations with fantasy boyfriends, i asked myself what i liked about men and the answer was always “nothing”, i asked myself “could i be capable of falling in love with a man?” and the way i was setting standards so high and ridiculous for any human for my “dream man” was the obviously negative answer to that question, i asked myself more intimate questions like “if it came down to it would you ever actually sleep with a man?” and the answer was always a solid no. basically putting myself in theoretical situations is what helped me finally understand. i had done that through the years and my answers were the same since the beginning, but i still refused to admit the truth to myself, until one day i just stopped.

and that’s my journey LOL it’s kinda pathetic tbh,,,,,, i could’ve been much happier with myself if i had just admitted it to myself since the beginning, bc deep down i always knew. would’ve spared me years of not feeling okay with myself, would’ve spared me years of surrounding myself with the wrong people who caused me terrible pain every time i heard them say lesbians are disgusting. but anyway, what’s done is done and i’m just happy now i get to be free and accept myself for who i am, unapologetically. on the internet. bc in real life i’m still traumatized 🚶‍♀️

i think questions are the easiest place to start. imagine yourself in situations, ask yourself how would you act and why. figure yourself out bit by bit and take your time to understand what you like. don’t ever let yourself feel pressured by anyone, don’t even let yourself feel pressured by the need of labels. don’t let anyone tell you your experiences are wrong or not valid, don’t let anyone tell you there’s a set way to explore your identity, don’t force yourself to do anything you’re not comfortable doing. if you need to vent, my dms are always open. be happy exploring your identity, there is no right way to do it. and remember that you’re always valid. 💜

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dearest-bucky · 4 years

Text

One kiss is all it takes (One Shot)

Bucky Barnes x Reader

Summary: Requested by @softcobain - Where reader who’s Bucky’s best friend ask him to teach her how to kiss bc she really wants to impress a guy she’s going on a date with? But Bucky is totally in love with her, at first he doesn’t want to but then he agrees.

Words: 3.8K

Warnings: angst, fluff, one first detailed kissing scene lol

A/n: Because tumblr is apparently dumb I can’t tag the sweetheart that requested this, but @softcobain I really hope you like this love! 💕 Guys I got goosebumps while writing this, I hope y’all like it too.

Feedback is greatly appreciated! xx

The door of her small apartment made a small squeaky noise as she pushed it open. She wasn’t all that surprised to find it open, her key once again useless. The only noises in the otherwise quiet apartment were coming from the TV that was left on, some detergent commercial playing in one random channel. She turned on the small lamp next to the couch that she usually used to read at night, and smiled as the figure that was sleeping on her small and uncomfortable couch was illuminated by the soft light.

She crouched down next to him and softly touched his hair, making him stir in his sleep. “Hey sleepyhead, what are you still doing here?”

He opened one eye and when he was met with her face, a small smile crept onto his lips. “Hey, you’re back. Thought I’d wait up for you but apparently I failed at that too.”

She chuckled at his words and patted his cheek lightly. “Don’t worry about it. I’m here now.”

Bucky offered her a shy smile and got up in a sitting position, making space for her to sit on the couch too. “So, how was it?” He asked after she sat next to him.

She remained silent for a moment, as if she was thinking hard about the answer, but there was a smile plastered on her lips and a dreamy look on her eyes that kind of told Bucky everything he wanted to know. The answer, despite it not being said, was shown, written in her every feature. She finally turned her head on the side to face him, and then replied. “It was great. He asked me out again on Friday.” Her smile never faltered, but as she looked at Bucky’s reaction her eyes narrowed a little in curiosity.

He nodded at her words and fixed his stare down, unable to look her in the eye anymore. He cleared his throat once and then without even looking at her again, got up from the couch. “That’s great, if you’re happy then I’m happy too. It’s better if I go back to my apartment now. Good night Y/n.” He didn’t even spare her another glance and left her apartment in a hurry, not even allowing her the time to wish him good night too. He slammed the door closed behind himself harder than he intended to and that made him wince, but he wasn’t about to go back and apologize for that.

With short but quick steps he arrived at his door on the other side of the hall and when he entered his apartment, without even realizing, he slammed his door shut too. He knew he had no right to be mad at her for going out on a date with somebody else, but he simply couldn’t talk his broken heart down. He’d been head over heels with Y/n for years and now having to see her date someone that wasn’t him, it was damn painful.

How could he even begin to explain what he felt for Y/n? Truth is he didn’t even remember how it all started.

After the Avengers defeated Thanos and Steve went to the past to get his second chance in life, Bucky chose to not stay with the rest of the Avengers at the new Avengers’ compound. Instead, with the help of Sam he bought a small apartment in Brooklyn where he’d been living for the last four years.

Y/n moved in her apartment on the other side of the hall only a couple of months after Bucky. When she was moving her furniture in, Sam, just like the perfect wing man he is, managed to introduce Bucky and Y/n, claiming they’d be neighbors so they needed to know each other if one of them ever ran out of sugar or flour. Bucky had scowled at Sam in annoyance but Y/n had only giggled at the new Captain America’s words and shook Bucky’s hand. “He’s right.” She had told him. “You’ll never know when one could need the help of a superhero.”

He had blushed then, at her words, and a smile had replaced the previous scowl.

That day they had both helped her move in, carrying the heavy boxes and the furniture. After everything had been put inside her new apartment, Sam and Bucky excused themselves and wished her a good night, seeing it was dark outside already. She had thanked them both for their help and when they were on the hall, she called out to Bucky. “Don’t be a stranger.”

He had smiled at her and nodded his head.

Ever since that day they’d spend many more days together, hanging out at each other’s apartments, but mostly at Y/n’s because she, as Bucky put it, had the better couch, despite the fact that it was smaller than his, but he enjoyed sitting close to her and watching movies and eating chinese takeout almost every night. Eventually those nights became an every night occurrence, and without even realizing, Y/n and Bucky had become best friends, helping each other with everything, relying to each other, taking care of each other whenever one was sick, mostly Y/n. She even managed to help him calm down after a nightmare when he had knocked on her door at 3 am sweating and crying in pain.

In the last four years they had become almost family to each other.

Despite her very friendly nature, Y/n was actually very shy when it came to romantic relations. So whatever feeling Bucky started developing for his neighbor/best friend, he buried deep inside his heart, not wanting to make her feel uncomfortable. Because he knew there was no way someone as perfect as her would even like back someone like him.

Now he had to stand by and watch someone else take her out on dates and make her happy, when that could’ve been him.

With a heavy heart Bucky laid down on his bed and closed his eyes, a long sigh escaping his parted lips.

Bucky didn’t see Y/n the entire upcoming week. She was busy with her work and he spent most of the days at the compound, training for the next mission.

Days had been passing slowly and he missed her so much every passing minute, especially on the evenings when they’d be almost cuddled up next to each other on her couch and binge watching whatever Netflix series was on his “to-watch-list”. He wanted to knock on her door but he couldn’t find it in himself to do so. After all she had started seeing someone now so he didn’t know if she still wanted him to go over.

It was almost 6 pm on a Saturday when he heard the hesitant knocks on the wood of his door and he moved lazily through his apartment to answer it. He was surprised to find Y/n on the other side of it.

She was wearing a nice dress, perfect for the warm weather of May evening and even more perfect for her. She looked absolutely breathtaking, but the almost panicked expression written all over her face made him break out of his stupor sooner than he would’ve wanted.

“Hey, Y/n. What’s up?” He spoke a little awkwardly, not knowing how to act around her anymore. It seemed as if it had been an eternity since the last time he saw her. Usually when she came over, she never knocked and she would always greet Bucky with a hug or a kiss on the cheek, but that seemed like a long time ago, and somewhat an inappropriate thing to do now.

She greeted him with a small smile that didn’t quite reach her eyes and asked him if she could come in.

“Uhmm, yeah yeah, sure.” He said, a little confused, but moved on the side to let her inside his apartment and closed the door again.

He saw her move towards the living room, but she never sat down, standing awkwardly in the middle of the small space between the couch and his coffee table.

“Is everything alright Y/n?” He asked then, unable to bare the silence anymore.

She picked her head up and looked at him, a look Bucky couldn’t quite understand. “I need your help.” She finally spoke. Her voice was unsure, even a little shy when she spoke, but he heard her loud and clear.

“Sure, doll. What can I do for you?” Always the hero. Always trying to help. Always helping.

She remained silent for a moment, as if wanting to organize her thoughts well and then she finally started speaking again. “So you know I’ve been talking to this guy for the past month..” she began and Bucky noticed how she was picking up at the skin of her fingernails, a tick of nervousness he knew she had. He moved closer to her and placed his hands on hers, stopping her assault on the fragile skin that had started to bleed a little already.

“What about him? Is everything okay? Is he bothering you? Do I need to kick his ass?” His mind was running a million miles per minute, thinking of the worst case scenarios, but she only shook her head lightly in response.

“Everything is okay with him. He’s great. It’s just…” She hesitated a little before she continued again. “Last night we went out and at the end of the date he walked me home and when he was saying goodnight he leaned in and wanted to kiss me and I turned away so he ended up kissing me on the cheek.” She explained, blushing a little and Bucky was listening to her every word intently.

“Tonight we’re going out again, to the movies this time and this is the third date and I’m thinking we should kiss, right? But I don’t know.” She concluded and let go of his hands that were holding hers, moving to the couch and finally sitting.

Bucky followed her lead and sat too. “You don’t know what?” He asked. If she were unsure about this guy she shouldn’t feel obligated to kiss him. She didn’t owe him anything. She should know that.

But Y/n surprised him with the next words she spoke. “I don’t know how to kiss.” She said and a crimson red painted her cheeks after the words had left her mouth.

Bucky could only stare at her, a little shocked at the confession and that only made her feel more embarrassed than before. “Forget it, this was a stupid idea.” She said when he took a moment too long to reply and she tried to get up from the couch, but Bucky finally came to his senses.

“No, please doll.” He spoke softly and she sat down again. “I’m sorry.” He continued. “You took me by surprise, that’s all. I mean, how is it possible that you don’t.. you know.. know? How to kiss?”

The entire situation was embarrassing and awkward and they both were wishing the ground would open and swallow them whole.

Y/n felt her cheeks aflame by the embarrassment she was feeling. She knew it was a crazy idea to come to Bucky about this, but he was her only friend.

Despite the fact that she was 26 years old she was an introvert and she didn’t have many friends. Except for Bucky who was her best friend, she had another childhood friend back in her hometown but she was too far to come and help Y/n with her situation.

Her entire life she had avoided people as much as possible, especially boys and men. She never had a boyfriend in her life and she never even kissed a boy before. That’s why she was in Bucky’s apartment now, asking him for help.

“I just..” she stuttered a reply. “Never kissed someone, so I don’t know how..” Her words were spoken in an almost hushed whisper, still mortified from the situation at hand.

“Okay, so you need me to…?”

“To teach me how to kiss.” She said matter of factly but she regretted the words as soon as they left her mouth. They had sounded better in her head than they did when she said them out loud, but there was no way she could take them back now.

Bucky’s eyes widened at her request but he composed himself quickly. He was a highly trained assassin for God’s sake, he knew how to mask his emotions, but apparently not around Y/n. “I can’t do that!” He finally exclaimed and he watched her face fall after those words. “I mean, it’s not fair to you.” He was quick to add and Y/n looked back up at him. “It’s your first kiss and it should be with someone you have feelings for. Not with me.”

“But Bucky…” A sound of protest left her lips. Those rosy and pillowy lips that he had wished so many times to kiss and that were now asking him to do so. “I’m going to be so embarrassed when he tries to kiss me again and I just stay there. It will be terrible if I just froze in the spot, you know.” She was trying to reason with him as much as she could. “Please? I kind of like this guy and I don’t wanna look stupid in front of him.”

“Doll. You could never look stupid.” He replied, still not saying anything about her request.

He wanted to give in and kiss her so much, but he was afraid he wouldn’t be able to stop once he started. His heart and his mind were in war at the moment.

“Please Buck?” She tried again. “You know I wouldn’t ask this of you if it wasn’t really important to me.” She pleaded and Bucky knew who won the battle inside of him. How could he refuse those lips that he had dreamed of for several years now? How could he refuse her pretty eyes, giving her that sad puppy dog look he absolutely adored? He simply couldn’t. That’s why he found himself slowly nodding his head in response.

“Okay, okay doll. I’ll help.” He said and she nodded back to him, a small smile forming on her lips. “Just one kiss to show you how it’s done.”

“Okay.” She replied and he let out a long breath at the sight of her looking so hopeful now, and beautiful, always.

They turned their bodies to face each other and Bucky cupped her cheek with his flesh hand. Ever so slowly he started closing the distance between their faces, until their noses were almost touching.

Y/n had closed her eyes and was waiting for him to place his lips on hers, but she could only feel his soft breath tickling her lips, but not touching them.

“Relax, doll.” She heard him say and her shoulders sagged a little, finally free from the tension she’d been holding in. “Just go with it and let it happen.”

She was ready to say something when she finally felt his lips touch hers, so softly she thought she must be dreaming it. With the same softness he started kissing her lips, slowly, gently, just like a breeze touching the leaves on the trees. He slowly coaxed her lips to part and she quickly complied, allowing him to deepen the kiss a little, feeling the kiss a little more. He was caressing her lips with his, happy to finally be able to do so, his flesh hand holding her cheek while the metal one moved to her hair, carding through her silky locks.

Too soon for his liking she ended the kiss, but she didn’t back away from him. Her eyes were hooded and her lips still parted when she whispered his name. “Buck..”

It was all he needed to delve in again for another kiss, this one more passionate. He couldn’t hold back anymore, coaxing her mouth open with his tongue, kissing her lips with a passion that was about to burn him entirely. He had been holding back for too long.

The hand in her hair gripped the locks tightly in between the fingers and he felt her let out a small moan against his mouth at the action, which only spurred him to kiss her more. Tongues hugging each other and teeth clashing with each other, biting and kissing and licking lips, starved for each other.

Her hands had found home in his shirt, bunching the material in her fists as she reciprocated his kiss with everything she had.

They had been so lost in each other, not even considering about stopping, until the phone in her pocket ringed and she whined lowly in Bucky’s mouth in annoyance.

“Forget about it.” He spoke between kisses but the device continued ringing until they were forced to part away from each other. Y/n had an apologetic look in her eyes as she fished the phone out of her pocket and she visibly winced when he saw the name on the screen.

She waited a moment until she fixed her breath before answering. “Hi, Andrew.” She spoke, not looking at Bucky anymore. “Yes, I’m ready. I’ll be down in 5 minutes. Okay.” She hung up the phone and finally looked at Bucky again.

He had an unreadable expression in his face while he was still trying to catch his breath from the mind-blowing kiss they just shared.

“I’m sorry. My date is here, I have to go.” Y/n said and waited for Bucky to say something, anything, but he just nodded his head and got up first from the couch, moving to the front door and opening it for her.

She got up too and walked out of the apartment, unable to say another word to him. When she finally reached the door of her own apartment and was entering it, Bucky finally decided to break the silence.

“You’re a quick learner Y/n. Kiss him like that and he’ll be yours forever.” She wanted to laugh at his words, but she just turned her head back and smiled sadly at him.

“Thanks Buck.” She said before he closed the door and entered his apartment again.

This is it, he thought as he sat back on his couch. The same couch where less than 5 minutes ago he was kissing the woman he loved. He should’ve stopped her. He should’ve said something. Asked her not to go on that stupid date with stupid Andrew. But he didn’t. He couldn’t. Because he was a coward.

Besides, if Y/n felt something for him, after that kiss she sure would’ve said something too. But she didn’t. She just got up and left to go on her date with another man, leaving Bucky behind with swollen lips and a broken heart.

It was less than three hours later that she finally came back. Bucky heard the keys jingle out in the hall and he knew she was back. She was probably coming back home with her date, he thought, but he was shocked to see her open his door and enter his apartment instead.

She seemed hesitant as she walked inside his place, finding Bucky slouched on the couch, a half finished bottle of whiskey in his hand.

“Bucky?” She called his name cautiously and he picked up his head to look at her. The same dress from before, except this time she was wearing a denim jacket over it too. He stared at her for a while, simply admiring her beauty, cursing himself for not being enough for her.

“Are you drunk?” The question left her lips without thinking. She knew he couldn’t get drunk, but when she saw him like that it was the first thing that came to mind.

“You know I can’t get drunk doll.” His reply was court and composed. “How did it go? Where’s your date?” He then asked her, despite the fact that he had no interest in knowing the answer to either of those questions.

She moved to sit on the couch next to him, the same spot he had stolen her breath away with one kiss a couple of hours ago, and she couldn’t think of nothing else except for that kiss. “It was okay.” She spoke mechanically, staring at his face. In her mind she was still kissing him.

“Did you kiss him?” Another question he didn’t want to know the answer of but he couldn’t help but ask it. Her only reply was a nod, but it was enough for Bucky to understand what she meant.

He slouched his head, dejected, broken, not wanting to be near her anymore. He had lost her.

“Yes, I kissed him.” She spoke a second later and Bucky wanted to tell her he understood that from her nod. “But I realized his weren’t the lips I wanted to kiss me, the lips I wanted to kiss.” She added a little breathlessly.

Bucky fixed his eyes on her, this time waiting with curiosity for her to continue. That she did. “I never wanted to go to that date after the most amazing kiss of my life, but I didn’t want to be rude to Andrew, so I thought I’d give him a chance, because he was a really nice guy.” She let out a small breath before she continued to speak again, Bucky patiently and curiously listening to her. “The entire time we were out I was still thinking about a certain set of lips that managed to set me on fire. And I thought to myself, it’s just because it was my first kiss. I’m sure if I kiss Andrew it will be even better, because I like Andrew. So I kissed him, but there was nothing. I was still searching for a different kiss in him. I was still asking to feel another man’s lips on mine.”

The bottle of alcohol he’d been holding in his hands, he placed it carefully on the coffee table before turning his body to the side to fully face her. “Doll, what are you saying?”

She let out a small sigh before answering, looking him dead in the eye. “I’m saying I don’t want to kiss anyone else beside you.” She confessed and it seemed that the world came to a stop.

He moved to get closer to her, this time both of his hands cupping her cheeks, inching their faces so close to each other once again. “Are you sure?” There was a slight tremble in his voice when he asked the question, but there was none in hers as she answered “Absolutely.” before locking her lips to his and kissing him like there was no tomorrow.

Their mouths continued the exploration and their hands found homes in each other’s bodies.

Bucky was so happy he could die. He kept kissing her like his life depended on it and between kisses he managed to speak. “Good, because I’m planning to kiss you for the rest of my life.”

#bucky barnes x reader #bucky x reader #bucky barnes x y/n #bucky barnes one shot #bucky barnes fic #bucky barnes imagines

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spaceshipkat · 3 years

Text

part 4 of my ac0sf recap will cover chapters 61 - 80 (the end)

part 1 covering the intro - chapter 20 can be found here

part 2 covering chapters 21 - 40 can be found here

part 3 covering chapters 41 - 60 can be found here

chapter 61: one test remains, one Nesta gave herself, so she runs down the 10,000 steps. Nesta and Cassian are either fucking or “lovemaking” and they alternate bedrooms. she gets down to the bottom step and opens the door, but she feels herself drawn back into the house, not into the city. a Starfall party is gonna happen in the house that night. Cassian is waiting for her at the top of the stairs dressed in his “courtly finery” and they kiss. he tells her the party already started but is “nearing its peak”. Nesta watches the stars fall and cries from the beauty of it. Viviane is pregnant. Nesta laughs and Amren says it’s not a sound she ever expected to hear from her. Nesta falls to one knee, bows her head, and tells Amren she’s sorry and Amren is surprised. Nesta says more and finishes with “losing your friendship is a loss I can’t endure” and Amren smiles, and tells Nesta that Nesta made the house sing with happiness, and it turns out Nesta Made the house. here’s the caption and ending of the chapter.

chapter 62: spring arrives. they’ve gone months without an attack from Briallyn, but Cassian warns that most armies don’t attack in winter. a “rare red star” (that we know is alien from k0a) shoots across the sky and riceman seems “unusually contemplative” in the aftermath. faerug is two months from giving birth. Cassian and Azriel continue to train Nesta and co as a unit, and she wonders if she’ll ever actually face combat. the Blood Rite is only a few days away. Eris sends a letter to Cassian and Nesta that they need to meet. they find him in a forest clearing in the Middle, though Nesta is distracted by the mountain aka the UtM mountain. Eris asks if she’s ever seen it and she says no. they talk about the three mountains (Ramiel, the UtM mountain, and the one that holds the Prison) and Eris says why no one ever wondered if there was something carved beneath Ramiel the way there is the other two mountains. no one knows who carved the palace/court that Amarantha lived in UtM, but it wasn’t Amarantha. Eris says this:

“My father went to the continent again last week. He came back seeming normal, without the glassy-eyed aloofness my soldiers displayed. He did not invite me to accompany him, or explain what he discussed with Briallyn. I can only assume the fallout is approaching, though, and wanted to warn you. It was not something I could risk putting in writing. But for now…for now, it seems as if the world is holding its breath.”

chapter 62 continued: the world is evidently waiting for Nesta to find the Harp. Nesta blinks in surprise, realizes too late that they haven’t told Eris they have the Harp, but he sees that and guesses correctly. Cassian asks if it matters and Eris says yes bc the Night Court now possesses two items from the Trove. Eris asks if this is what the delays have all been about, the NC biding their time to learn the Trove’s secrets and use them for their own gain. Nesta asks what they possibly have to gain, and Eris counters with what did Hybern have to gain by getting the Cauldron. Cassian says they have no interest in conquest and they aren’t going to use the Trove, to which Eris laughs and says he’s not comfortable with the NC having 2/3 of the Trove and other Made items, to which Nesta stiffens but Cassian says that riceman has his own plans and Eris can’t possibly think that he’d tell Eris all of them but assures him they don’t involve using the Trove. Nesta gets horny over Cassian’s smooth courtier’s voice. Eris says he assumes they’re going after the Crown now and Cassian says they’ll tell him what he needs to know and try not to forget to do so this time. Eris carries the Made dagger on his belt and says that they’d be stupid to go after Briallyn directly. Eris asks what they’ll do when they have all three Trove items and points out they can’t destroy them and hiding them probably wouldn’t work. Cassian asks what he’s going to do to stop them. Eris says that if they fail to get the Crown, they risk Briallyn using it against them, that she could make them expose everything, and repeats that they should not go after the Crown. Cassian says we’ll see and implies the Made items can protect them against the Crown. they kind of undo everything they did at the ball but don’t seem concerned by it. Cassian and Nesta fly away and Nesta says he did well and Cassian says he pretended he was Nesta. they fly for hours and then land on a bridge over the Sidra and Cassian says he thought they would walk a while, holding hands. Nesta asks what Cassian thinks Eris will do, and he says sulk and then think of a new way to insult Cassian. she says that Cassian playing courtier gave her some ideas, and he says it did the same to him. he kisses her and she says people are looking and he says he doesn’t care, he wants them to know they share a bed. Nesta asks if it undermines her rep as a warrior to be seen with him, and he counters with does it do the same for faerug when she’s with riceman, and Nesta says it’s different for them bc they’re mates. Nesta seems to know what Cassian is gonna say and isn’t surprised when he implies they’re mates, and he says that she doesn’t want to be, and she says that the word doesn’t really hold any meaning with her. he asks why she’s frightened, and she says she isn’t, and he asked if being seen with him spooked her, and she doesn’t answer. here’s the excerpt. Emerie is at her kitchen table when Nesta arrives, Mor having winnowed Nesta there. Nesta makes it two steps into Emerie’s shop before she starts to cry, and Emerie helps her into a chair and listens as Nesta tells her everything that happened. a knock sounds on the door an hour later and Gwyn comes in to hug Nesta, brought by Mor, who nods at Nesta and winnows away. Emerie says she’s surprised Gwyn left the library and Gwyn says that some things are more important than fear. Nesta spends the night at Emerie’s house and decides she’ll talk to Cassian tomorrow and explain everything. Nesta wakes to “a male scent” in her room that isn’t Cassian, Azriel, or riceman. down the hall, Gwyn screams and goes silent. she tries to reach for her power, but they knock her out.

chapter 63: as per the bargain, Cassian waits until the next day to look for Nesta (and doesn’t seem upset by the bargain at all), asking riceman to winnow him up to Emerie’s shop. before they even enter it, though, riceman knows they’re not here, and the magic that was there is too strong to belong to an Illyrian except on one night when Illyrians possess an “ancient, wild power”. there are signs of a struggle. riceman says that Devlon just confirmed that the Blood Rite began at midnight. Nesta, Gwyn, and Emerie were kidnapped to participate in it.

chapter 64: Nesta wakes up and feels a lot of pain. she looks around and finds male Illyrians around her with wings bound (as per the Blood Rite requirements). she realizes she woke before the others bc she’s Made and therefore different. her magic isn’t there bc of the Blood Rite’s spells. she knows she’s in a lot of danger bc she’s a woman in just a nightgown. she knows she needs to find Emerie and Gwyn. a male Illyrian wakes up and looks like he wants to rape her and then notices a knife embedded in a nearby tree. Nesta runs. Cassian asks to be winnowed to them so he can save them, but his family is against it and riceman tells Cassian to explain to faerug why: anyone who takes someone from the Blood Rite will be executed, as will the person taken from the Rite. Azriel says that his spies informed him Eris has been captured by Briallyn. Cassian and Azriel have to go after him bc riceman can’t risk it and explains the suicide pact. Cassian says they should let him die and faerug says they can’t bc he could reveal everything under the Crown’s control, and asks what he knows and Cassian explains what it is, and faerug wonders if the Made dagger will offer some immunity against the Crown. while Azriel and Cassian go, Amren says that she’s going to have a long talk about the bargain bw fey///sand to fey///sand. back in Nesta’s POV, she’s running for the knife in the tree but the Illyrian rams into her and then they both go tumbling down into a streambed a hundred feet below. turns out she stabbed him in the throat while they fell and he’s dead. she takes his clothes, puts them on, and pulls the knife free before leaving to find Emerie and Gwyn.

chapter 65: Cassian once told Nesta about the three sites where participants of the Rite are placed. Nesta isn’t sure where to find Gwyn and Emerie and remembers that Cassian won’t be able to come for her bc of the rules of the Rite. any wounds would heal at a human rate bc the Rite saps all magic. the charm on the bracelet she made with Gwyn and Emerie is glowing, telling her to go north, and apparently she Made the charms into beacons when her wish was to always be able to find their way back to each other. as she runs north, she knows she needs to find food, water, and shelter bc it looks like snow is coming. someone shoots an arrow at her and then tells her to get up when she falls. Cassian and Azriel find Briallyn’s stronghold.

chapter 66: the male Illyrian is smaller than the other but he has a bow and arrow and tells Nesta to give him her weapons. Nesta asks if there was a female where he came from and he calls Emerie a “cr*ppled bitch” and say she left her to the others bc Nesta is “better prey”. Nesta pretends to acquiesce to his demands and then throws the dagger at his groin, and he screams in pain. as he screams, she charges him and knocks him down, then pulls the knife free, steals his bow and arrows, and runs in the direction he came from, leaving him there to bleed out. she finds a group of Illyrians filling canteens at a stream and talking to each other, and listens in but doesn’t hear anything about any women where they came from, and then hears one of them say that Emerie escaped but would have made good entertainment. turns out Emerie went down the river but may have died in the rapids, so Nesta goes looking and finds Emerie clinging to a tree. Nesta strips to cross the river for Emerie. Nesta uses Emerie’s nightgown to tie her to Nesta’s body bc Emerie is unconscious, then crosses the river again, covers Emerie with the dry clothes, and then gathers wood to make a fire. Nesta holds Emerie for skin to skin warmth. she makes a plan to survive the night, help Emerie, and then find Gwyn. Nesta starts looking for a cave and a male Illyrian shows up and says “the entrance is here” and even though she is barely clothed, she senses no lust or hatred in him. the Illyrian points out the cave and says it’s big enough to fit inside, and that they won’t survive the night on the ground. he says that bc she’s not scaling a tree, it’s clear she has someone hurt with her, but she doesn’t say anything. he says he saw the man she killed, wonders who dropped weapons here, and that he has no quarrel with her, and will go to Ramiel by a less traveled path. he’s spending the night in the cave and invites her to do the same. she says so he can steal her weapons and he says no bc he knows who she is and wouldn’t be so stupid. she says it’s the Blood Rite and that he’d be forgiven, and he says faerug would not forgive him for killing her sister. he swears an oath on someone named Enalius to not kill Nesta or whoever she’s with. she counters with not to harm them in any way either, or have anyone else do the same, and he swears to that too. she asks for help carrying Emerie. we learn the guy’s name is Balthazar, and he gives Emerie his wool cloak to lay beneath. they sit on either side of Emerie to keep her warm. Nesta says that, by dawn, Balthazar needs to be gone, and he says he’ll be glad to bc the beasts in the forest might scent Emerie’s blood and come looking. she asks why he isn’t out there killing everyone, and he says bc he wants to reach Ramiel and become Oristian, but if he finds someone he wants to kill he will. they hear snapping branches and a howl, and Balthazar says they’ll be patrolling all night, but many Illyrians forget that. Balthazar offers to take first watch and Nesta says fine but she doesn’t sleep at all that night. Illyrians scream all night as the beasts hunt. Balthazar says she’ll find plenty of clothes today, says good luck, and leaves. she sees that countless bodies lay scattered around, many half-eaten. back in Cassian’s POV, they’re unable to find Eris in the lands surrounding Briallyn’s castle. Azriel asks a human merchant if he’s seen a male fae and he says yes, he saw one with red hair dragged into the castle the night before last but that he’s to be taken somewhere soon. Azriel says they’ll wait here until night and then follow them with cloud cover. Azriel and Cassian don’t talk about the bargain fey///sand made. Cassian knows he’d feel if Nesta died bc of the mating bond. Nesta looks through the bodies for clothes and supplies: two canteens, another dagger, and someone’s half-eaten rabbit dinner. when Nesta returns to the cave, Emerie is awake and asks after Gwyn, and Nesta dresses Emerie in better-fitting clothes and uses the charm to find Gwyn is to the south, which hadn’t changed since yesterday.

chapter 67: Emerie explains that she’d been attacked and chased by the Illyrians, leapt into the river as a last-ditch escape, and knocked her head on a rock. they pass many other Illyrians as they head south. some of them are solo and ignore them, while others are fighting in packs. a day passes and they find another cave to spend the night in. Emerie takes first watch and Nesta sleeps, and in the morning more beasts killed more Illyrians. it starts to snow. Emerie smells fire and they think it might belong to Gwyn bc the charms also tell them to go that way. they see Gwyn’s nightgown but no Gwyn, and they see a group of Illyrians around a fire but no Gwyn, and then Emerie is captured. Cassian and Azriel are still watching the castle but Cassian wonders if Briallyn knows they’re here and are waiting for them to make a move. Azriel can’t tell if Eris is even still alive. Cassian says they should break in and Azriel says the castle is too well-protected. one of the Illyrians says that Nesta and Emerie are stupid females for falling for the nightgown. Nesta demands to know where Gwyn is and they say they haven’t seen her, they only found the nightgown lying somewhere. one of the Illyrians who captured them is Emerie’s cousin from that day in her shop. Nesta asks if he sabotaged the Rite with weapons, and he says he wouldn’t call it sabotage and neither would some nameless “she” who Nesta suspects is Briallyn. a monster attacks before the Illyrians can make good on their threats. Nesta shouts at Emerie to run and grabs their weapons, and Emerie grabs a sword, and then hears a female voice shout at them to come her way. Gwyn is waiting for them in stolen clothes and leads them far away. she says she woke up before the others, and Nesta wonders if it’s bc she and Gwyn aren’t Illyrian, and Gwyn explains everything she’s been up to. she also lead the monster to the Illyrians holding Emerie and Nesta. Gwyn says they really came looking for her, and Emerie says of course bc that’s what sisters do.

chapter 68: as night falls, Nesta, Emerie, and Gwyn climb a tree with no caves to be seen. they use a rope Gwyn found to tie them to the tree so they can rest. Gwyn asks Emerie what she knows about the Rite. they trade watches to sleep. in the morning, sun shines and Gwyn climbs the tree to find that Ramiel is days away to the northeast, leaving them a day to climb it should they reach it. there’s a ravine with a wooden bridge they can reach first if they run, so they run. they see six Illyrians, who sprint toward the ravine when they see Nesta, Emerie, and Gwyn, and the three of them give chase. Nesta decides they need to intercept them to make it to the ravine first, and then they fight the Illyrians. they kill all six. Cassian says he and Azriel have been sitting on their asses for four days. Azriel points out a lot of spying is waiting for people to do anything, and Cassian says that’s why he quit spying, and Azriel says spying suits him. Azriel reassures Cassian that they trained Nesta, Gwyn, and Emerie well. someone leaves the castle and the fly into the sky to watch. they see that Briallyn snared Eris with the Crown, and Azriel points out that he’s still carrying the Made dagger. if he’d been under her control, she’d have taken it from him. Cassian calls him a traitor and Azriel says they need to follow them to see who they’re meeting with. Nesta and co haven’t reached the ravine before another group of Illyrians shows up with bows and arrows. they keep running even as arrows rain down, and Emerie reaches the bridge first. Nesta makes it across with Emerie, but Gwyn was shot in the thigh on the other side. she yells at them to cut the bridge and she stands up but can’t make it across the bridge in time, so Nesta ties the rope they have around the tree, then around one of her arrows, and shoots it toward Gwyn. Gwyn wraps the rope around her waist and yells at them to cut the bridge. Nesta cuts the bridge while Gwyn runs across it, and then as the bridge falls the rope around Gwyn catches her. the Illyrians behind her fall to the ravine. Emerie and Nesta pull Gwyn up to the top of the ravine, the Illyrians on the other side yelling at them. they remove the arrow from Gwyn’s leg and bind it, but she’s slowing their pace. they encounter no one else and by the time night falls they’ve made it to the foot of Ramiel, but Gwyn isn’t doing well. Nesta wakes up before dawn, then makes sure Gwyn is still alive and the wound isn’t infected. Nesta says that only twelve have made it this far in the Rite, and that they’ve already become Oristian. Gwyn says they should keep going when Nesta suggests hiding instead of climbing it, and Gwyn says so rather than try and fail they’d rather not try at all, and Emerie says not if it costs Gwyn her life. Gwyn asks if it’s really living to take the safe road, and that she’s tired of hiding in the library and that she doesn’t want to take the safe road, she wants to take the dangerous one with Nesta and Emerie. Emerie says they call it the Breaking for a reason, Nesta says they haven’t eaten in days and they’re down to the last of their water. Gwyn explains what happened with her sister, how and why she was beheaded, and tells them how she was gang-raped. then Azriel arrived and killed everyone, followed by Mor and riceman. Mor healed her and brought her to the library. she says working with Merrill helped her recover. she says she saw Nesta appear at the library and knows that Catrin, Gwyn’s twin, would’ve been the first to sign up for the training, so Gwyn did, too. and then Emerie starts talking about what happened to her, about her dad beating her so badly she once broke her back. he beat her mother, too, and when she died made Emerie dig her grave. she came to training bc she knew her dad would’ve forbidden it. Nesta then explains why she came to the House of Wind and who she was before it. Nesta says that neither of them failed anyone, and Gwyn says that she didn’t either, and they decide to climb Ramiel.

chapter 69: Eris and the caravan head east for three days. they see that Eris isn’t chained and rides beside Briallyn, but they don’t see the Crown. they enter a forest that Azriel says he’s never been to but reminds him of the Middle. Eris’s caravan halts by a lake and Azriel and Cassian land to begin tracking on foot. Eris says “Over here, Cassian” and Cassian turns and Eris holds a knife to his ribs. Nesta and co climb the mountain. Nesta wonders if the Breaking also messes with their minds bc she can’t turn hers off and Gwyn and Emerie look haunted. they rest a little and then keep climbing. at nightfall, Emerie says it looks like they’re 2/3 of the way up. Gwyn says she needs to rest, her leg bleeding. Emerie also twisted her ankle. she says that the Pass of Enalius isn’t too far ahead and that if they can make it it’s a clear shot to the top of the mountain. Nesta tells Emerie to let Gwyn rest. Gwyn spots Bellius, Emerie’s cousin, and other Illyrians making their way up the mountain. Nesta tells Gwyn to get on her back and they climb up the mountain. back with Cassian and Azriel, Eris holds Cassian with the dagger to his ribs. Cassian says that he always knew Eris was a lying bastard but this is low, and Eris says he’s disappointed in riceman, who didn’t even bother to look into his mind. Azriel says that Eris is a “dead male walking” and Eris refers to Mor as “the Morrigan” which clues Cassian in that Eris isn’t himself bc he never refers to her like that, and Cassian tells Briallyn, wherever she is, to let Eris go and come play with them instead, and Eris removes the dagger from Cassian’s side and Briallyn says that she’s already playing with them. back with Nesta, they reach the Pass of Enalius and Emerie says she’s standing where none of her ancestors ever stood before. they keep climbing but then fall back to the Pass of Enalius. Nesta says she can’t carry Gwyn anymore and Gwyn says so they rest a minute and then keep trying. Nesta says she can hold the Illyrians off while Emerie and Gwyn keep climbing. Gwyn refuses to leave her. Nesta hugs Gwyn and then knocks her out, and asks if Emerie can carry her the rest of the way, or at least until dawn. Emerie gives her all the weapons and Nesta tells her to take the canteen and lies that she has enough. Emerie says Gwyn will never forgive Nesta for this and Nesta says she knows. Nesta ties Gwyn onto Emerie’s back and Emerie asks her to come with them again, and Nesta says to consider it a repayment of a debt for being her friend, and Emerie says there is no debt, and Nesta insists there is. Emerie goes and Nesta turns to face the approaching Illyrians. Cassian knows that with Eris in Briallyn’s grip there’s little choice in doing anything, and refuses to consider himself or Azriel becoming locked in the Crown’s grip. the party that Eris and Briallyn traveled in has vanished, and Cassian wonders if they were even real. Briallyn removes her cloak and reveals there’s nothing there, and Koschei says it’s an animated kernel of magic and they’re by his lake. Nesta sees that Emerie is on the straight path to the top of the mountain and then gathers her weapons and shield.

chapter 70: Bellius sends the others through the pass toward Nesta first. Nesta fights them and wonders what she could have done with her sword in her hand, and then tells us the meaning of Ataraxia.

chapter 71: Azriel asks Koschei where Briallyn is. Koschei says he spent so many months preparing for them and now they don’t want to talk to him, and Cassian tells him to let Eris go and then they’ll talk. he hopes they can’t tell that the dagger Eris holds is Made. Azriel’s shadows seem to give a warning and he tells Cassian to run and then grabs Eris and flies into the sky, but Cassian is held in place, and Koschei tells Briallyn she can take Cassian now bc there’s plenty of time before dawn, and she emerges from the trees. Koschei says to tell Vassa he’s waiting. Briallyn says she has need of Cassian and then tells Koschei to winnow them. back with Nesta, she’s exhausted but only Bellius remains. Bellius tells her that the Illyrian god, the first of the Illyrians, fought against enemies right where Nesta stands. he says that Enalius, the god, died after three days, climbing to the sacred stone atop the mountain to die. he says it’s why they do this ”stupid thing,” to honor him. Gwyn and Emerie both touched the stone and were winnowed away by its magic. Nesta says it looks like Bellius didn’t win, and he says he never wanted to win, only wanted this, and then attacks her.

chapter 72: Nesta knows she only has to hold Bellius off until dawn, when the Rite ends. they fight and snow begins to fall. he knocks her sword and shield away and then starts cutting at her. he asks if Nesta honestly thinks she can beat him and she says yes, dodges a strike, and then smashes her hand into his nose, and says this:

And Nesta hissed, “Because my mate taught me well.”

chapter 73: they launch themselves at each other again. after more fighting, she falls and can’t get up, and Bellius approaches, but before he can kill her he’s killed by Cassian. Cassian helps her up and then says he’s going to cut her throat. in Cassian’s head, we see him trying to break free of Briallyn’s control. Nesta tries to break through to him, but then Briallyn says he’s hers and Nesta turns to see Briallyn.

chapter 74: Briallyn stands on the pass. Nesta launches herself away from Cassian when his arms loosen, but he remains still as a statue. Briallyn reveals that her plan was to nab the “maimed one” (Emerie) after having Nesta, Emerie, and Gwyn brought to the Rite. Briallyn says she saw how much Nesta cared for Emerie when they were connected via the Harp ages ago. Briallyn wanted Nesta here so she doesn’t have magic, and Nesta says she was worn down days ago, why didn’t she come sooner, and Briallyn says she was waiting for Cassian. Nesta can see that rage is in Cassian’s eyes now, breaking through the glassy veneer. she says she had to use Eris to draw Cassian to her. when Eris’s soldiers came to capture him, he tried to help them, but they took him. Briallyn says that Bellius was a “hateful brute” just like Cassian. she told Bellius to hunt Nesta down but not kill her, and surmises she wasn’t precise enough in her wording to Bellius. Nesta asks why Briallyn is doing this and why she doesn’t want peace, and Briallyn says what she wants is the Trove, not peace, and that Cassian is the only person who can make Nesta summon the Trove. Briallyn says that once she has the Trove she’ll leave Cassian and Nesta unscathed, and Nesta scents the lie, and then Cassian breaks the control to say “Don’t” and Briallyn makes him close his mouth again but the glassiness isn’t in his eyes anymore. Nesta says no and Briallyn says she’ll have to try to convince her, and Cassian attacks her and Nesta has no strength to fight back. Cassian pleads with his eyes for Nesta to stop him. Briallyn says that it’ll kill him to kill his mate. Nesta says that if she’s dead Briallyn won’t get the Trove, and Briallyn says there’s others in the NC as “delusional” as Nesta. Cassian is ordered to kill, but Briallyn never specified who, so he tries to kill himself and Nesta “erupted with the force of the Cauldron.” the entire world shakes as Nesta does so, and then she attacks Briallyn and sucks her life from her until she pretty much vanishes.

chapter 75: Cassian lies facedown on the ground and Nesta runs toward him and he reveals he’s alive and she starts to cry. Cassian says Nesta Unmade Briallyn. Nesta calls Cassian her mate and then they kiss. Mor and Azriel appear. Cassian asks after Eris, and Azriel says he’s safe in the Hewn City and the Made dagger is back in their possession. Mor says “It’s Feyre”

chapter 76: the river house is silent and Mor says faerug started to bleed a few hours ago. Mor takes Nesta to faerug, whose legs are covered in blood. she’s pale and barely breathing and riceman is scared. Madja says she turned the baby but he’s stuck in the birth canal. after faerug says to do it, Madja says they could cut the baby out but it and faerug would die. Elain appears and takes Nesta’s hand and they start praying. Madja gets the tools and tells riceman to go into faerug’s mind to take away her pain, and faerug says no goodbyes. then Madja swears and riceman screams. Cassian and Azriel pull riceman away from faerug. Cassian sees Nesta wearing the Mask, Crown, and holding the Harp, and she moves toward the bed with her eyes full of silver fire, and riceman lunges for her but Nesta holds up her hand to stop him and he does. Nesta plays the twenty-sixth string.

chapter 77: the twenty-sixth string is Time itself. Nesta stops it as faerug “took her last breath.” Nesta walks through the frozen-in-time room to stop by faeurg. Nesta tells faerug she loves her. Nesta says that if she’s shown how to save faerug, the Cauldron can have its magic back. time resumes. Nesta says she gives it all back again and again and light flows from her to faerug (idk man). light keeps flowing around faerug and, as the light fades, Nesta is marked with another tattoo bargain with the Cauldron.

Yet Cassian could have sworn a luminescent, gentle hand prevented the light from leaving her body altogether.

chapter 77 continued: riceman rushes to faerug, who looks healthy again, and she turns to Nesta and says she loves her, too. then the baby starts to cry. Madja says that it appears faerug now has Illyrian anatomy. she also tells faerug to feed him. riceman falls to his knees in front of Nesta and thanks her, weeping. she hugs him.

chapter 78: Gwyn and Emerie are waiting in the parlor of the river house. Gwyn says she should never forgive Nesta, but Nesta just hugs her and Emerie and says they won. Mor took the Trove back to the place Nesta summong them from. Nesta asks how Emerie and Gwyn are healed and she says the stone did it. Nesta asks Emerie if her family will punish her for what happened to Bellius, and Emerie says that deaths happen in the Rite. the book waxes poetic about Nyx, fey///sand’s baby. Cassian holds the baby and he and faerug coo over him. riceman is still pale and shaken. Nesta walks in and looks at Cassian, silently requesting something, and he gives the baby to faerug. they go outside and Cassian asks if Nesta’s magic is really all gone. Nesta says she gave it all back but some of it’s still there and she thinks something or someone else stopped it from giving it all back. she also made some changes of her own. Cassian realizes it’s the Mother, who would have seen Nesta’s sacrifice and saved some magic for her. he asks what changes Nesta made. she said she changed herself a little so she can survive a birth. Cassian is shocked and asks if she’s ready to have a baby and she says no, she’ll be drinking her tea for a while yet. she says she wants a “disgustingly ornate” mating ceremony, and Cassian says they’ll never hear the end of it from Mor and Azriel. she gives him a biscuit instead then and says it’s part of the ceremony, to offer the mate food, and Cassian laughs and says his options are a stale biscuit or a frilly ceremony, and she says yes. he says they’ll make a coronation of it and she says she already has a crown. Cassian starts to think about everything they have to do and Nesta says they’ll think about that all later, and then tells him “I love you.”

chapter 79: two days after Nyx’s birth, Cassian goes to meet with Eris in the Hewn City. Eris says he can’t stay long and Cassian says “good”. they want to know what Eris told Beron. Eris says that Beron knows Cassian “assisted” him when he was kidnapped. Cassian wonders if Beron tortured him and Eris explains the lies he gave him in answer. Eris tells him to not pity him. Cassian asks why Eris left Mor in the forest that day. Eris says that Cassian isn’t the person he wants to explain himself to. Eris says that Beron might be stupid enough to try to ally with Koschei. Cassian goes to leave, then stops.

chapter 80: as spring blooms, faerug and Nyx are well enough to leave the house, and they go on walks around the house with riceman or Mor with them, both really protective. Cassian and Azriel are too. one day, Nesta, faerug and Elain all go on a walk. we learn Nesta and Cassian have sex a lot and he calls her mate all the time. Nesta, Gwyn, and Emerie told Cassian and Azriel everything that happened, and the two of them made lists of what to fix during training, which doesn’t stop even though they’ve passed the Rite. Gwyn says she might leave the library to come to the mating ceremony in three days. Nesta wants an outrageous party but not a big crowd, and so the temple is done up and riceman promises it’ll be what she hopes for. riceman gave Cassian and Nesta the House of Wind, since it decided it liked Nesta more than anyone else, as a wedding gift, with the library still belonging to the priestesses and the house being used for formal occasions. faerug painted Nesta holding the line at the Pass of Enalius as a gift. Nesta had let riceman see some of the Rite but had no idea it had been to give faerug ideas for a painting. now, Elain, faerug, and Nesta go to visit their dad’s grave so they can show Nyx and vice versa. faerug says “Your grandson, Father”. faerug had asked Nesta if she wanted to go with them that morning, and Nesta had said yes. Nesta lingers by the gravestone and tries to think of something to say, like an explanation or apology, but nothing comes. she says she’s going to live the rest of her life deserving the love of the people who love her. she leaves the carving she took from the cottage at the gravestone. she says “thank you” to him and hears Cassian flying overhead, making sure she’s all right, and she thinks “busybody” but blows him a kiss. then she turns and joins her sisters, who beckon to her from halfway down the hill.

#anti sjm #anti acosf #myth and kat read acosf #spoilers #acosf recap #long post

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emsvegetables · 4 years

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Hello!! first, I wanted to tell you that your med student hcs were literally SO good they really hit home for me. I I was also wondering if I could ask for hcs of Kuroo, Matsukawa, and Hanamaki who are stuck at home with their s/o? Like, who goes insane first? How do they pass time? Also, if they're in college, how many times do they also go to class online? Thank you so much!!!

omg anon this request WAS SO FUN TO WRITE thank you for requesting this :-)!!!!!

Kuroo:

* STUCK IN QUARANTINE WITH THIS MAN???

* That’s my dream lmaoooo

* N E WAYS

* He’s so EXCITED he gets to be in quarantine with you!!!!

* Like, even though the both of you share the apartment and are dating, it’s very hard to actually spend time with you, with the both of you being in different courses in college after all.

* So spending time with you??? He’s so happy.

* Before the quarantine really goes into effect, he’s insisting that the both of you have to go get some groceries.

* BC HE KNOWS THAT YOUR LAZY ASS WONT LEAVE THE HOUSE ONCE THE QUARANTINE STARTS LMAOOOO

* He’s always making breakfast for you in the morning!!!! LIKE???? This man is husband material 10/10.

* If you aren’t awake by the time he’s plated the food, he runs into the room and carries you out.

* There was once he dropped you on the floor but we don’t talk about that.

* When you guys have lessons on???? The both of you are in separate rooms bc you’re too distracting to him.

* But you bet that if you have a call going on and he doesn’t, he’s creeping beside you and saying some weird ass stuff to distract YOU.

* There was one time this asshole came into the room saying,” are you made of Fluorine, Iodine and Neon? Cause you’re F-I-Ne!” while your mike was on.

* BRUH your whole class literally started laughing at you.

* Even the professor GIGGLED.

* At this point Kuroo’s face is the shocked pikachu one.

* BC HE DIDNT KNOW YOUR MIKE WAS ON ORIRIIFIDIFJFJDIOW

* And ofc you get back at him during one of his lessons later on during that day.

* He’s focusing on the teacher and writing down notes onto his notebook when you hear the teacher ask him a question.

* You’re like: ITS GO TIME BABY.

* When Kuroo unmutes himself to answer the question, you’re pressing a quick kiss onto his neck and biting down on it.

* “The answer to the question is—ah shit baby it’s going to be like that?”

* RIRKFKFK THE WHOLE CLASS GOES SILENT THEN.

* Then Kuroo realises what just came out of his mouth and YOU bet this is the first time you’ve seen him so embarrassed.

* HAHAHAHAHA

* His teacher just keeps quiet for a moment; before asking another student the same question and completely ignoring Kuroo for the rest of the call.

* REIOFDO YOU BET HE’S GOING TO TICKLE YOU UNTIL YOU CRY FOR THAT and maybe do something else that’ll make you REALLY CRY.

* Tbh the both of you love each other so much, and there’s never a boring moment with Kuroo in quarantine.

* He keeps you on your toes, and you keep him on his, so you’re actually not bored or tired of him in quarantine!!!!

* But when he sees that you’re getting a little fidgety and tense, he’s immediately suggesting something that the both of you don’t do usually.

* Like BAKING???? He’s happily making cinnamon rolls with you and dancing with you in the kitchen to some weird song.

* Or he’s playing WII with you, and the both of you make so much noise the neighbours come over and ask you politely if you could...”make love a little quieter” DOROFOFIFIFIEIEI

* So none of you go insane because this man just KNOWS how to handle you!!!

Matsukawa:

* AHHH THIS IS PT 2 OF MY DREAM

* ANYWAYS

* This guy??? He’s such a sweet man.

* When he realises quarantine is going to go into effect, he’s dragging you out to buy some essentials for your lockdown.

* He’s making sure to buy at least some healthy snacks and vegetables to make sure you stay healthy during this time period!!!!!

* OKAY LETS BE REAL this guy is the one that takes care of the other in the relationship.

* He’s making sure you go to sleep at the time you should be in bed, and hauls your ass to bed if you refuse to do so.

* But his cuddles are very soothing so you fall asleep VERY quickly.

* But if you really can’t sleep??? He’s staying up to talk to you about anything that comes into your mind.

* He’s also making sure you eat!!!! He’ll make lunch for you if he sees that you overslept and missed breakfast.

* If you want to bake, he’s trying his best to help you, but this man can only give you the ingredients bc for some reason he SUCKS at baking.

* He tries baking cupcakes for you in the middle of your lessons one day and the cupcakes were all droopy and uncooked. SO LESSON LEARNT.

* SPEAKING OF LESSONS:

* Tbh he knows not to distract you in the middle of lessons, so he’s either in another room during your lessons or he’s quietly resting his head on your thighs.

* BUT.

* You’re totally different.

* You make it a point to disrupt his lessons all the time, always asking for cuddles in the middle of his lessons and asking for kisses as well!!!

* He just sighs at you when you come crawling towards him while he’s writing down notes, and just opens his arms to allow you to crawl into his lap.

* THERE WAS ONCE where you were cuddling him and the teacher asked him to answer a question, so he turned on his mike and camera, and then he hears a loud gasp.

* “Matsukawa! What are you doing?”

* YOU WERE SITTING ON HIS LAP AND FACING THE BACK WHAT DID IT LOOK LIKE YOU WERE DOING

* “IM SORRY MISS!”

* DIORIRRIRKRK when he hears you laugh, you bet he’s going to punish you later 👀😎

* But as much as the both of you love to spend time with each other...do you know who goes insane first??

* YOU.

* You need to go outside!!!!!

* Mattsun notices how you’re getting all tense, and he’s trying his best to take your mind out of it.

* He’s asking you to exercise with him, and it often leads to OTHER THINGS HAHAHA

* And he plays some random two player online games with you!!!!!!

* “(Y/N) NO FAIR YOU HIT ME!”

* In other words, being stuck with Mattsun in quarantine is a fun thing!!!

* You go insane but he’s there to perk you up!!!!!

Hanamaki:

* PART THREE OF MY DREAM!!!!

* This man :””)

* Tbh you’re 90% of his impulse control, so when the both of you split up to buy the essentials you need during quarantine, this boy comes back with potato chips and all the unhealthy snacks.

* But you can never say no to him so you buy those in the end :(

* This guy is amazing to be with, but it’s pretty obvious YOU’RE going to be the one taking care of him during quarantine.

* You’ll have to tell him it’s 12am and it’s time to sleep and to stop watching Rosemarie being disgusted with Ed.

* You’ll have to tell him, no, eating potato chips does NOT count as lunch.

* But sometimes he’s so damn convincing he’s pulling you into his lap to continue watching 90 day fiancé, and he’s feeding you the chips with a kiss to your lips.

* He’s trying out all those weird quarantine things that he saw on youtube with you LOLOLOL

* He got so bored that at one point he got into tiktok and made a video that went viral.

* But then he logged out bc he was BORED of Tiktok so...

* N E WAYS

* He goes to sleep late every night, but he somehow wakes up entirely refreshed for his lessons the next morning?????

* And you don’t disrupt him during his lessons, usually just reading quietly beside him or watching the television in the living room.

* But this little shit loves to bother you in the middle of lessons.

* BRUH HE SCARED YOU while you were trying to answer the question the teacher asked.

* You screamed into the mike and the teacher jumped.

* “(Y/N)! I asked you to answer a question, not murder my ears!”

* “Sorry miss!!!!!!”

* And when you hear Makki laugh after you mute yourself again, you instantly formulate a plan to murder him.

* But then, you thought, LETS MESS WITH THIS SHIT.

* So the next time he has lessons, you’re quietly reading beside him, and you casually place a hand on his thigh, which slowly moves up as the lesson goes on.

* He doesn’t notice at first, but when your hands brush dangerously close to where mini Makki is, he’s groaning.

* When the teacher calls Makki to answer a question, you grin.

* ITS YOUR TURN SUCKA

* You’re softly pressing against it when he unmutes himself, and he lets out a low, guttural groan, which the entire class hears.

* “Hanamaki, are you alright?”

* “Yes, Miss—“

* He GROANS again when you press a little harder.

* HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA SUCK IT.

* Iwaizumi’s in this zoom call, and you know he KNOWS what’s going on, based on the disgusted look on his face.

* Hanamaki somehow manages to answer the question, and when he mutes himself, he’s shooting you a smile and telling you that you’re in trouble.

* YOU REALLY WERE RIFIFIFKRK

* In the end, you’re the one going insane.

* BC YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH MAKKI’s shit every day.

* Not that you don’t love him, but caring for this man who doesn’t know what a healthy sleeping schedule is making you MAD.

* But he’s a GOD in the kitchen, and he’s making you these exquisite meals with the little groceries you have that you ALWAYS forget about how you’re slowly spiraling into insanity whenever you take a bite into the food.

* HES THAT GOOD.

* He makes you forget about all your troubles with a nice massage on the couch while the both of you watch 90 day fiancé together! :)!!!

hope you like, anon!!!!! :-)

#kuroo x reader #hanamaki x reader #matsukawa x reader #haikyuu hcs #haikyuu headcanons #kuroo tetsuro x reader #hanamaki takahiro x reader #matsukawa issei x reader #haikyuu scenarios #haikyuu imagines

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