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a-dumb-sarcastic-bisexual · 11 months

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More random Nimona headcanons

Bal is one of those people who isn’t allergic to anything except one random medication that no one uses

Ambrosius calls him a lucky bastard every time it’s brought up because he’s allergic to everything

His allergy list is at least three pages long and he doesn’t remember a single thing on that list

Whenever they go out to eat Bal has to remind him “No you can’t eat that it has olives” “Not that either love it’s got lemon” and so on

Most of his allergic reactions are pretty tame so he’ll eat it anyway

And it gives Bal and Nimona so much fucking anxiety

One time Bal walked in on Nimona chasing Ambrosius around the kitchen yelling “Spit out the carrots Nemesis you don’t even like them that much!!”

Whenever he eats alone he refers to it as a game of Russian roulette

Bal refers to it as the reason he has high blood pressure

Because Bal and Ambrosius grew up in the limelight (for very different reasons) there are a million pictures of them through the years

And they use those videos to bully the hell out of each other

Bal can quote the video from the beginning of the movie not because it was an important moment in his childhood

But because Ambrosius will quote it at the most random times throughout the day

Bal will do something small like kill a bug or chase out an animal that Nimona brought in

And he’ll hear Ambrosius mumble “I’m here to slay monsters and protect our kingdom”

He was a little worried Nimona would react badly to this habit but he started joining in

One time he killed a spider and Ambrosius asks “Are you slaying monsters moonbeam?” Nimona yells from the other room “I’m so proud of him he’s truly protecting our kingdom”

There are a million photos of baby Ambrosius on the internet

And Bal made a PowerPoint presentation ranking their cuteness factor out of 10 (100 was the lowest score he got and it was a picture of him with the ugliest bowl cut you’ve ever seen)

And made Ambrosius sit through it

That was the most loved and mortified he had felt in a long time

Nimona uses low-quality pictures of them as reaction photos

There have been times when Nimona asks “Can we eat out tonight” and Bal tells her no and she sends him this

He’ll text back “Is that my fucking wanted poster?!”

She asked Ambrosius if there was any ice cream left and he said no he expected her to call him and complain he didn’t expect this

He calls her yelling “When the fuck did that happen?!”

And she hangs up immediately to let Bal deal with it

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mmorgbuzz · 2 years

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Powerpoint animation change text mac

#Powerpoint animation change text mac how to

You can click the animation effect in the Animation Pane and click the arrow to the right to display a drop-down menu with options or you can select options in the Ribbon for that effect. If you have applied an entrance and exit effect, two animation effects will appear in the Animation Pane. The Animation Pane will display the animations you have applied. The Animation Pane appears on the right side of the screen. Click Animation Pane in the Advanced Animations group.When you apply multiple animations to an object, it's best to display the Animation Pane so you can easily edit the animations. Other common exit animations are Fly Out or Fade. Click the Disappear exit animation in the Exit group.Click Add Animation in the Advanced Animations group (you must select Add Animation if you are adding more than one animation to an object).To apply an exit animation to an object to make it disappear on click: Adding an exit animation to make an object disappear You can also apply an entrance animation by clicking Add Animation on the Animations tab in the Advanced Animation group.īy default, the object will appear on click during a slide show. Other common entrance effects are Fly In or Fade. Click the Appear entrance animation in the Entrance group.In the Animations group, click the More down arrow on the bottom right of the Animations Gallery.Click the Animations tab in the Ribbon.For text objects, click in the text box or placeholder or click its edge. To apply an entrance animation to an object to make it appear on click: Adding an entrance animation to make an object appear

#Powerpoint animation change text mac how to

Check out the article How to Use Morph in PowerPoint to Design Engaging Presentations for other ways to make objects move on or off a slide during a slide show using the Morph transition. In this article, we are using animations to make objects appear and disappear. If you want to apply more than one animation to an object, you will need to use Add Animation in the Advanced Animation group.Īnimations are typically added to objects in Normal View (but can be applied in Slide Master View). The expanded Animations Gallery appears when you click the More down arrow in the Animations group: To apply animations, use the Animations tab in the Ribbon: Recommended article: How to Use Morph in PowerPoint to Design Engaging Presentationsĭo you want to learn more about PowerPoint? Check out our virtual classroom or live classroom PowerPoint courses > An object is typically a shape, image, text placeholder or text box. This can occur automatically or on click. You can combine entrance and exit animations in PowerPoint to make an object appear and disappear on a slide during a slide show. Make an Object Appear and Then Disappear on a PowerPoint Slide Using Entrance and Exit Animationsīy Avantix Learning Team | Updated February 5, 2021Īpplies to: Microsoft ® PowerPoint ® 2013, 2016, 2019 and 365 (Windows)

#Powerpoint animation change text mac

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fishfission-dc · 1 year

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Batfamily Powerpoint Night! (Part 2: Dick)

<<Part 1: Bruce | Part 3: Tim >>

[Masterlist]

Dick: My turn! And thank you Bruce for setting me up so perfectly!

Tim: OH MY GOD

Jason: Okay this one I can get behind

[disgruntled Bruce noises]

Babs: You prioritized those reasons... interestingly.

Damian: I agree with Richard. My farm animals occasionally require my attention on a time-sensitive basis.

Bruce: People’s lives are literally on the line

Tim: IT WAS ONE TIME GUYS

Jason: “Great driver” is a stretch for you, Dickhead

Steph: Yeah haven’t you crashed like three cars

Dick: Okay sure but how many times has B crashed the Batmobile? Definitely more than three.

Duke: You’re a hazard to traffic in a Toyota Corolla, Dick. But I agree about Tim.

Tim: I CAN DRIVE

Dick: Plus everyone keeps changing their codename, it’s so much easier to just use their normal people names in a pinch.

Cass: (signs) Fair.

Jason: Maybe if Bruce stopped adopting so many Robins we would follow the rules.

[disgruntled Bruce noises]

Steph: SAY IT LOUDER FOR THE PEOPLE IN THE BACK

Bruce: Where did you get those pictures

Jason: Wow, Bruce not following his own rules? Who could have expected this baffling turn of events

Damian: Richard this is horrific

Bruce: Dick where did you find these

Jason: That meme is disgusting

Duke: I forget how much of a millennial you are sometimes

Steph: Maybe this is why we don’t answer your texts

Bruce: I-

Jason: Th-

Dick: I will be taking no questions at this time. Moving on-

Steph: JUSTICE FOR SPOILEROFFICIAL

Tim: Bruce please if Dick stops flirting with himself online can we have our accounts back

Bruce: No.

Steph: He’s just mad because Nightwing had more followers than Bruce Wayne on Twitter

Babs: richard

Dick: :)

Tim: Doesn’t Bruce kiss Selina with the mask off too-

Bruce: IS THIS ALMOST OVER

Damian: Todd and Father sharing a meal without injuring each other? Fascinating.

Jason: This is literally so humiliating where did you get this

Dick: :)

Bruce: I just gave a presentation on why these restrictions are important

Cass: (signing) You break them. Often.

Steph: Yeah I don’t know, Dick makes some pretty good points.

Bruce: [disgruntled Bruce noises]

Tim: My turn!

<<Part 1: Bruce | Part 3: Tim >>

[Masterlist]

#more will be made soon i promise #batman #dc robin #dick grayson #batfamily #jason todd #damian wayne #bruce wayne #tim drake #batfam #batfamily powerpoint au

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rose-tea-and-strawberries · 6 months

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Ramshackle Family PowerPoint Night Slumber Party Headcanons

Masterlist

Bonus: First years

Sleepovers at Ramshackle are common but one day you decided to spice things up by having a powerpoint night party

You told Ace and Deuce your idea on Monday so that they had enough time to prepare for Friday.

The party begins in the afternoon and the three of you start baking all sorts of treats in the kitchen like cookies and brownies before you get changed into your pyjamas

Deuce:

His are really simple but bless him he worked so hard

He gets super into his and gets all animated and excited

He loves it when you ask questions

His slides are very neat, like one or two bullet points at most with a few pictures. He uses a baby blue background with standard black text.

“I didn’t want to make it hard to read” ♡

Ace:

Ace is what happens when a primary schooler is introduced to powerpoint for the first time

Every single transition and animation is used. He uses those cool font sites to make gif fonts that are going on every slide. It looks like a party popper exploded all over it. Each slide is a different garish colour. ‘Body text’? What’s that? Word art and word art only is his text

His presentations are either typical meme stuff like playing smash or pass with smash bros. characters or they’re the saltiest roasts you’ve ever heard

Yes, the last one was specifically made for you. He loves you dearly and has noticed that you’ve been on the receiving end of many a wandering eye. Prefect, you could do so much better

Grim

Since he’s baby™ he can’t make a powerpoint so he just has a whiteboard with the words ‘BUY ME MORE TUNA’ scribbled on

I’m not going to do the reader’s slides to make it more general but when it’s your turn to present you bet that it would be dead silent. If Ace so much as coughs, Deuce is decking him with a pillow.

After powerpoint night has ended, you play other games like those random Kahoot quizzes, charades with the ghosts, board and card games etc.

You even assemble a blanket fort that takes half an hour longer because of a pillow fight Ace instigated

You all decide to do it again next week

#twisted wonderland #twst #twisted wonderland x reader #twst x reader #twst headcanons #twisted wonderland headcanons #ace trappola x reader #deuce spade x reader #twst grim #ace trappola #deuce spade

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matrixbearer2024 · 4 months

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Blips In My Routine

Vox x CollegeStudent!Reader

A/N: A slight interlude in the "Get Off My Screen!" Series to keep you guys entertained while I write it's continuation. I apologize that it's taking so long! School's kind of been kicking my ass recently and I've had to focus more on work than my fanfics. Don't worry though, I'll still be writing more Vox content(Lord knows we don't have enough /j) as long as you guys want to see it!

A/N: I love 🥭 Anon's idea and tbh I don't put it beyond Vox to do it either, I'm not sure if this is as good as the other installments but I hope you guys enjoy it nonetheless. Btw, reader is in college so she's somewhere in her mid to late twenties. Happy reading!

You glanced at the ticking clock above the whiteboard.

It was just five more minutes before the bell would ring and free you from this boring lecture.

You fought to keep your eyes open as your gaze wandered back to the teacher's PowerPoint.

You hated this subject the most, not even because of the topic itself.

Rather, the professor could be kind of an old-timey asshole.

Thankfully though, it wasn't all that bad.

Not when you had to deal with an equally irritating digital companion anyhow.

Somehow you'd rather take Vox's bullshit over your professor's-

Speaking of, you both had fallen into a somewhat odd routine in the following months.

From greeting each other when you woke up or went to sleep-

To checking up on the other every so often within the day.

Not to mention spilling gossip when anything remotely interesting happened.

Either on his end or yours.

Like that time you saw someone's skirt snag in their locker door and just rip.

You could only snicker at their panic and shame.

The bitch highkey deserved it anyway.

Vox couldn't stop laughing when you eagerly told him all about it.

He knew you could be vicious if you wanted to.

Even if he was aware how much more inherently kind you were compared to the likes of him.

Sometimes the fact you found his companionship worth maintaining-

Or at least tolerable enough to keep-

Genuinely surprised the tech overlord.

Especially because you'd both been communicating for a little over a year by now.

It was nice interacting with someone else that weren't Velvette or Valentino.

Not that he'd ever openly admit to it.

It wasn't like Vox hadn't seen or heard you either, despite the fact he couldn't directly mess with the microphone or camera on your devices.

Your photos and files had more than enough stuff.

You often left him imagining your reactions and voice whenever the both of you chatted.

After all, most of your interactions were practically texting.

Sometimes you even wondered if Vox was constantly bored to end up finding companionship with you.

Or maybe he was lonely, who knows.

You genuinely couldn't be fucked.

He was an interesting guy and that was all that kind of mattered to you at the moment.

Your notepad window popping up snapped you out of that train of thought.

Glancing over at your laptop screen, the small desktop pet Vox gave you merely sat in the corner pointing at the notepad.

Oh it could do angry emotes too-

A slurry of words started pouring into the blank open text window, you figured Vox was probably having another shitty day.

Geez, who would've thought that hell would actually be absolutely crappy?

Well, let's see what he's complaining about this time...

This man was really typing way faster than you could read-

You were able to garner pretty quick what he was bitching about though.

Even if you kind of found the source of his irritation quite childish and kinda stupid.

"It's so dumb! The fact I can only talk to you with this goddamn thing is driving me insane!"

"Aaaand? What's wrong with the notepad? You also have the desktop companion."

You definitely started calling it that only because Vox was getting pissy that you were referring to it as a 'pet'-

"It can only do so much dollface, it's just glorified texting at this point. Besides, the tiny version of me is just an animated emoji keyboard."

"Well you already mess with my software regardless of what I tell you, what's stopping the great 'Technology Overlord' from hacking my camera and microphone?"

"Haha, very funny doll. Don't you think I would've done it already if I could?"

At this point you kinda just wanted to laugh at the whole situation.

Vox, a demon, one who could control electronics to his every whim-

Or so he claims.

Was being pissy about not being able to talk to you properly.

You couldn't tell if that was supposed to be endearing or hilarious.

He always got worked up over the smallest inconveniences.

You saw it as him being just very observant-

But it could also highkey be from his captain control freak tendencies.

"Then just make an app or something, you'll figure it out. Mess with the software settings or whatever."

That was the last message you wrote before the school bell suddenly rang out loud and clear.

You didn't even read his reply before shutting your laptop down and arranging your belongings.

Soon enough, you were the first one out of the classroom and more than ready to go home.

Vox knew you'd shut down your laptop after he got hit with his custom Voxtech screensaver.

Similarly to the wallpaper, he'd changed your screensaver to something more on brand.

While he did take your suggestion into account, a part of him wondered why he didn't bother trying in the first place.

But given the issues with him trying to access the built-in camera and microphone-

Vox felt a little concerned that modifying your devices too much could corrupt them.

That alongside all of your files and the data you had stored.

Wait...

Concern?!

He didn't actually care about your shit did he?

Oh fuck it!

He'll do whatever he wants to!

He was still careful not to really change much, he knows how annoying file corruption is and he didn't want to actually damage your data in case it had stuff you needed.

You weren't surprised that he'd taken your words literally-

You noticed a peculiar looking app appeared on all of your devices when you had arrived home.

That's a really fancy looking V design, was this Vox's doing?

Upon opening the app, you were greeted to a slightly odd looking interface.

It looked kind of like a more... sci-fi-esque styled chat room?

You wanted to say it lowkey looked like an Omegle room-

Before you could really nitpick at the design though, a text notification popped up on your phone.

You had just set everything up too, it seems like it came from the new app.

"Testing, testing. Are you getting this (Y/N)?"

To say you were amazed at what Vox had done was an understatement.

He was able to do so much in just so little time-

Just- how???

Oh, right- you should probably reply to that-

"Yeah yeah, I gotchu."

"Fucking finally! Working around your firewalls and antivirus was an absolute nightmare!"

Aaaaaaaand here came the usual ranting and bitching-

You just threw your phone on the bed and left to take a shower and freshen up while he kept at it.

Vox was actually quite proud he got the app to work.

Especially without affecting the existing system on your computer much.

If anything, it wasn't any different from the games or social media applications that already existed on your computer.

Granted, when he first booted the app to try it- the darn thing kept crashing and glitching.

But that was easily and swiftly dealt with.

Well, after much frustration and screaming but yes- taken care of.

By the time you came back, you saw an animated version of your wallpaper appear windowed in the app.

Right... that was supposed to be his face.

"Hello? (Y/N)? Can you hear me?"

What-

What the fucking FUCK-

Apparently, the thing you thought that was just a gif or an emoticon was actually a livestream of Vox's face.

And that was how he sounded like?

Okay that seemed pretty on brand for a telecasting television now that you think about it-

But how the hell did he manage to do this-

"Vox?! What the hell!"

You yelled out in retaliation, only growing more confused when Vox didn't reply or just kept repeating if you could hear him.

So he couldn't hear you, but he found a way to sort of project himself into your device.

What kind of upside-down thing is this?

Picking up the phone, you quickly used the chat-box to reply.

"I can hear you, but I don't think you can hear me?"

Vox just audibly cursed from what you could guess was frustration, staying silent and presumably typing out a reply.

Just how long had he been trying to fix this problem?

"I can't access your cameras or microphone whatever I do dollface, this was my last resort."

Seeing his live reactions allowed you to notice the genuine frustration and exasperation he had with the situation.

It kind of made you feel a little guilty for just brushing him off all the time now.

You always thought it was quite... old-timey for Vox to want to talk to you face to face.

Hold a "proper" conversation as he put it.

But maybe that was just because he grew that fond of your company.

Geez, what a sap.

"It's fine dude, I'm glad you made a specially designated space for our conversations though. My notes were starting to get cluttered with our conversations stuck in there with my school stuff anyway."

You could swear the small smile you saw on his face made saying all that worth it.

There really wasn't any reason for you two to switch mediums, but the new app wasn't unwelcome.

You were really starting to care more about this dumb TV head.

As you and Vox went back into comfortable regular conversation, you found solace as both you and your companion once again fell back into the odd routine you grew used to.

Come morning however, you were seriously reconsidering giving Vox the idea about making that custom application.

It was a stupidly large can of worms that you didn't even realize existed-

Notification after notification, you wondered just how much time the technology demon had on his hands to constantly bother you.

"Vox, I know you're happy about your app but can you stop spam sending me memes for five seconds?"

"Eh, not feeling it."

"Go to hell you dumb picturebox."

"Already here dollface, already here."

You facepalmed.

What an idiot.

Well, he was your idiot.

A/N: I'm leaning towards this being more than a just friends thing, dunno if I'll make it romantic or not in the continuation but I'd reckon that Vox and reader would get pretty close by now sooooo hahaha have fun y'all :D

#hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel vox #hazbin vox #vox #vox x reader #hazbin hotel vox x reader #hazbin hotel x reader #hazbin vox x reader #vox x you #x reader #Get Off My Screen Series

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520cafe · 11 months

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sour grapes. lost in your eyes

whilst waiting anxiously outside of the library, your eyes have been reading the same lines of text messages that has been exchanged between you and blade over and over again, like a never-ending loop and spiral of words flowing in and out of your head.

after a short while, as in defeat, you let out a sigh which apparently carried an overwhelming sense of dread for the events to come. finally mustering up some form of courage and calling upon a fake spirit, you turned a corner out of your hiding spot where you immediately caught glimpse of that all too familiar figure.

his head was down and leaning against the palm of his hand, with his navy hair covering his ruby-like eyes. yet, this did not hide his undeniable attractiveness and charm. he has not seemed to notice you slowly descend towards the table, his eyes were instead concentrated and fixed on his computer screen. it was when you pulled the chair in front of him where he eventually looked up and saw you, your eyes meeting his.

“you’re late,” blade’s deep voice was monotonous yet clear, just as you remembered. you almost felt weirdly relieved that there were no changes to this.

“i’m not late, you’re just early.” you sent him a small smile before getting your computer out of your bag, like a poorly executed attempt of trying to avoid his direct gaze. “i literally was on time.”

however, you were only responded with silence. when you moved your eyes after logging into your computer, you were met with his red eyes lazing into yours. a slight heat made its way to tint your ears a lighter shade of the falling cherry blossoms outside but he did not seemed phased at all as he continued to study your features instead of the powerpoint on his screen.

he leaned back and you managed to sneak glance at the way the corners of his lips curved upwards, feeling satisfied by your reaction to his actions. as if nothing happened, blade turned his computer towards you which displayed the details for the project. “we have a month for the project, that’s enough time. we can just focus each week on a certain task.” blade calmly explained. “for this week, i can focus on topic 1 while you can do topic 2.”

you nodded in agreement but, that does not simply erase the last few minutes that just took place, nor does it halt breaks to the millions of unpredictable and boundless thoughts that are rushing around your head like a marathon.

“don’t worry, we’ll help each other too.” a chilling voice faintly drifts to your ears as it’s soft landing sends shivers to the rest of your body. this time, the smile on blade’s face was much more prominent and evident, sending you a quiet yet reassuring message.

all you were able to do was to nod and smile back him, any awkward tensions that surrounded the air was beginning to wear off. at last, you let out one final sigh that managed to put your mind and speeding heartbeat at ease.

🍇 SOUR GRAPES 〈 06 lost in your eyes

━━ MASTERLIST. ╱ PREV. ╱ NEXT.

╰► SYNOPSIS. after being in the same tight-knit friend group for over a few months now, suspicions begin to rise when march, seele and bronya start to notice the awkward tensions between you and dan heng. little did they know, you and dan heng were once high-school sweethearts who shared a romantic and fairytale-like past where the pages only lasted for a year. this heartbreak led you to meet another unfortunate victim of cupid but that chapter flew away as quick as stardust. yet, it appears that you two were also destined to cross paths once more.

╰► [ a/n ] : went to my first anime con yesterday! my feet are killing me but it’s lowkey my fault lmao 😭 i managed to bring home many genshin, hsr and even some vtuber pins, badges and prints! anyway, i hope you all enjoyed this chapter and i hope my writing is okay?? i’m pleasantly surprised by the amount of attention the previous chapter received so tysm <3

━━ TAGLIST. @lauvwar-r @sunsethw4 @shizu-c @amyena @zephestia @loudeggbananaranch @lunavixia @twistedrxses @shinjuuz @danhenglovebot @flos-veritatis @sammy-hammy @kiwidoves @aeongiies @heartswonder @lilactaro @lunnaeclipse @m1lley0ns @hansel-the-pierrot @astro-pioneer @aquatikk @obervation-subject-753 @vellichxrr6782 @rubberduckieyourtheone @viovya @stayriki @ceylestia @starryeyedkoko @theflameofyoursoul @kalims @liminalimmortal

#🍇 ━━ SOUR GRAPES !#honkai star rail x reader #hsr x reader #hsr dan heng #dan heng x reader #hsr blade #blade x reader #honkai star rail smau #hsr smau #honkai star rail fanfic #hsr fanfic #hsr x y/n #hsr x you #honkai star rail x you #honkai star rail x gender neutral reader

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livesincerely · 4 months

Note

i was just reading back through your writer’s desks and remembered how much i loved the slideshow au! no pressure but do you have anymore thoughts on it? it’s just one of my faves <3

The outline/notes for that one are still in the very early stages but I’m happy to share what I’ve got so far!

00000

He’s waiting for Tony to come back from the bathroom, the next episode of Crime Scene Kitchen queued up on the tv, when his phone vibrates with a text from Jack.

this prod meeting is running long, probs won’t be back until late. Go ahead and watch w/o me

Everything ok?

ya but part of the set got busted during a scene change so I gotta figure when/how to fix it before tomorrow night

I’ll put your takeout in the fridge and save you some egg rolls

and that’s why you’re my favorite

Say hi to Medda for me

of course

“Jack’s not going to be home until late,” Davey announces as Tony wanders back into the living room. “He says we should start without him.”

….

“Dave,” Tony says, sighing deeply. “Why am I looking at a PowerPoint titled, “Jack Kelly + David Jacobs: A Comprehensive Argument for Maintaining Equilibrium.”

Davey pins him with a scathing look. “It’s a Google Slides presentation, you godless heathen.”

“What the fuck?” Tony asks, ignoring him, clicking rapidly through the screens. “When did you even make this?”

Davey shifts in his seat. “I mean, it’s more of a living document, so it’s never really finished—“

“Davey.”

“A couple years ago, I guess,” Davey says. “Give or take.”

Tony squints at the computer screen. “It’s saved on your old university account.”

“Okay, or maybe it was three months into junior year!” Davey admits, crossing his arms over his chest. “It was a stressful semester and I was super nervous about failing my animal science midterm and Jack was out on a date with that PoliSci major that lived upstairs and— And the when isn’t the point! The point is, according to my research, telling Jack isn’t worth the risk of ruining our friendship.”

“What are these graphs even measuring?” Tony asks, staring at one of the slides. “‘Overall Happiness, Jacobs v Others’?”

….

“Well, your math is absolute shit, for one thing,” Tony says, frowning at a graph entitled ‘Art Pieces per Subject’. Davey’s name is sitting in dead last. “There’s no way these numbers are right. Jack draws you literally all of the time.”

Davey frowns right back at him. “No, he doesn’t.”

“Uh, yeah he fucking does,” Tony disagrees. “You’re, like, one of his favorite things to make art of, period. He spends about half his time bitching about how copic doesn’t make a marker that matches your eyes—at this point I’m pretty sure he’s got more drawings of you than actual pictures.”

“I think I would’ve noticed if Jack suddenly started drawing me,” Davey scoffs, shaking his head. “It’s not like he’s subtle when something’s caught his eye. Plus, he lets me flip through his sketchbooks whenever he finishes filling one and I’m almost never in them.”

“Which one?” Tony asks.

Davey blinks. “Which one, what?”

“Which one,” Tony repeats, oddly intent. “Which sketchbook does he show you?”

“What do you mean, which one?” Davey asks, irritated. “The only one! The one he always— it’s not like it’s some big secret!”

Tony stares. Then Tony sighs.

Very quietly, Davey hears him mutter, “…pair of fucking morons.”

…..

“Okay, but, riddle me this,” Tony says. “Why don’t you just tell him? What’s the worst that could happen?”

“What’s the worst that could— I literally just went over all the reasons why that’s a horrible idea!” Davey exclaims. “It would ruin everything!”

“I really don’t think it would, Dave,” Tony says. “You and Jack… will ya at least think about it?”

“I’ve done nothing but think about it,” Davey says, and to his horror, he can feel his eyes starting to sting. “I can’t.”

“Want me to do it?” Tony offers, and he says it like a joke but Davey knows him too well to think that he’s anything but absolutely serious.

He jolts forward, arms outstretched as if to preemptively cram the words back down his throat. “Don’t you fucking dare, Tones, I am so fucking serious—“

“Okay, okay!” Tony says, holding up his hands in surrender. “I won’t snitch on your neurotic ass, even if it’d make you happier in the long run. My word as my bond or whatever.”

Davey huffs out a laugh, and it’s only a little teary. “Fuck you, my neurotic ass is the reason you made it to graduation, shithead.”

…..

“Hey, can I borrow your laptop?” Jack asks. “Mine’s dead and I left my charger at the theater.”

“Yeah, go ahead,” Davey absently responds.

…..

“Davey,” Jack says, voice straining. “What the hell is this?”

“What is what?” Davey asks.

“This.” He turns the laptop around and— oh shit. It’s The Argument.

He feels his blood run cold. “Oh,” he says. “That.”

“Dave,” Jack says, his mouth set in a hard, thin line. “Did you make a fucking PowerPoint about me? About us?”

Davey swallows. “…It’s actually a Google Slides presentation,” he says weakly.

…..

“You’re telling me this is nothing?” Jack demands, incredulous. He tilts the screen back to show Davey the current slide, which is just an enlarged photo of Jack’s handsome, smiling face, surrounded by a halo of red arrows and the caption, ‘JUST LOOK AT HIM,’ written in boldfaced text. “Nothing? Nothing at all?”

“Maybe we can stop looking at it now,” Davey says, loudly. He leans over the back of the couch, making another panicked grab for his laptop, but Jack dodges out of the way, clicking to the next slide.

#*ask #newsies #javid #*editor's note #*the writing desk #bits & bobs #the google slides fic #this is the roughest of rough drafts but I hope it was legible and made some kind of sense?#hope you enjoy!!!#☺️

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cookie-nom-nom · 8 months

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How to Kidnap Bruce Wayne in 6 Easy Steps

The Batfam decided to have a nice evening together. They had it all planned out. The Joker was JUST put into Arkam, Harley and Poison Ivy were having a date night, and they sent the Riddler a 5k puzzle piece, so they should have a few hours. Hopefully.

But then entered...the comedian. Not a knockoff Joker, mind, an actual comedian serving as the entertainment for the night. The kids were running a bet on the odds of Bruce laughing. Not actual laughter, naturally, but how many fake laughs Bruce would decide to manufacture. Dick maintained it would be 8 times at most, despite what the others thought.

And then a PowerPoint presentation started, with the words Bruce Wayne emblazoned behind the comedian. "Brucie Brucie Wayne. Local philanthropist, runner of jobs and charities and orphanages. Gotham's number one eligible bachelor if and only if you like kids. But Ladies and Gentlemen and Folks, I'm here to tell you otherwise. Because this right here? It's alllll a mask. I know the real Bruce Wayne, and I have the proof to reveal his secret identity."

Bruce was very carefully keeping his eyes on the performer, refusing to acknowledge the eyes latching onto him, or the occasional covert elbows.

The comedian dramatically flourished the remote and changed the slide. A stock photo of a man littering had Bruce's face crudely photoshopped over it popped up. "See! A menace to society! And I have an extremely reliable witness who swears that the recycling bin was three feet away. Tsk. Some people just want to watch the world burn. Which maybe I'd be okay with since we Matched on Tinder, and yet not a single spark despite how much chemistry we'd have!" A wall of unanswered Tinder messages of bad pick-up lines and far, far too many winky faces filled the screen, all sent to a profile claiming to be 'Bruce Waine'. "This MONSTER left me on read! Can you believe it? Ghosted. And that definitely isn't on me, because my Mom says I can make anyone swoon. Who do you trust between the two? Wayne? Some millionaire who could never relate to your everyday experience?" The slide flipped between Bruce suavely dealing with paparazzi and a sweet older woman. "Or Mom, who can make wonderful potlucks, whereas we all know the Wayne Manor has nearly burned down on three separate occasions thanks to Brucie trying to use a toaster!" Technically all villain attacks, but the public needn't know that.

The Wikipedia page's list of philanthropic acts and charities sponsored by Bruce Wayne scrawled across the screen, the comedian gesticulating wildly. "All this?? PROPAGANDA! This is what he WANTS you to think! When in reality, he's a two-faced, duplicitous, littering, puppy-kicking monster who REFUSES to answER MY TEXTS, IT'S NOT HARD! I'M FUNNY AND HOT AND--!" The comedian paused in frothing at the mouth, as if suddenly realizing the audience was there. They straightened, pointedly adjusting their collar. "We all know the true darkness that lies behind his friendly, ditzy, sexy façade. And so our goal is simple: we are going to kidnap this menace for the wellbeing of Gotham (and my love life)."

Step 1: Become an orphan.

"Alright, the first step of Plan 1 is simple. Now that you're an orphan..." the slide changed with a silly transition animation.

Step 2: Irreversible and extensive surgery.

"Now this step is a bit expensive but-" they feigned a surprised face at the protests in the audience. Planted, no doubt. "I'm sorry, what's the hold-up? We don't have all night! This is literally the first step and you already have questions?" The comedian gestured wildly in the direction of the Batfam. Bruce narrowly avoided recognition thanks to his fondness for sitting menacingly in the shadowy corner of the room. "Seriously! There're KIDS in the audience! They're far too young to know how easy it is to get tragically orphaned at a young age and left with no stability and an empty hole in your life to be filled with grief, rage, and fear!

"Sheesh. Some people have no consideration for the faint of heart. Think of the children! Literally, think of the children you will be infiltrating." A flick of the remote and Step 3: Infiltrate an orphanage popped up. "We all know the easiest way into the Wayne household is adoption. Now that you've gotten extensive surgery to appear like a child, the hard part begins.

"Little is known about the entity known as children. I have put together research to aid in your mission. You need to know how to walk, how to dress, how to speak. Do you know what rizz is? Can you dab on command? One mistake and you're dead. You can fool the hearts of men, but children will rip a poor performance to shreds. I should know, I was bullied severely on the playground every time I tried to bring up the question of what the deal with airplane food is..."

The comedian went on, detailing the absurd plan to trick Bruce Wayne into adopting them. It hinged entirely on the fact he was a well-known moron. The Batkids found great glee in piling on the jabs as the comedy bit went on. Step 4: Marketability analyzed the various personalities and attributes of the Batkids to extrapolate how to lure Bruce into adopting the infiltrator, highlighting key traits like 'small' 'looks like a drowned cat' and 'a glare that is really terrifying for a baby to have'. Bruce found that portion almost tolerable, given some of the kids turned upon one another in something akin to a feeding frenzy. But it wasn't long before the full brunt of their teasing returned upon him as Plan 1 concluded with Step 5: Buying rope and duck tape while not looking suspicious and Step 6: Using flower language to apologize (for the abduction).

"...Alright. So, maybe you don't have the funds to shorten the length of your leg bones. Or maybe you don't have black hair and blue eyes. I get it, re-dyeing is messy. If Plan 1 is infeasible for your budget or lifestyle, then I've kindly considered a second revenue of attack."

A massive picture of Batman filled the screen. The crowd descended into mayhem. "Oh don't tell me the entire audience believes the butts match! We're conspiracy theorists here, but I thought you had STANDARDS!" It was possible Bruce's face was going to freeze in that perpetual rictus. Dick waved a hand in front of him, not sure when he last blinked. "Come on people! They're clearly different people. Which is why I'm going to recruit Killer Moth to do a little crime. All the funds that would've gone to child surgery can now be injected directly into the criminal underworld. It's basically the same thing our taxes do but faster! I've thought this through. Killer Moth will do anything for a price and you won't like actually be in danger. I mean, can you imagine dying to some D-tier villain? Cringe. Anyway, this is your 'in' with Batman. He saves you and it's all very heroic. And then you start chatting, maybe get his number; it's going great. It's been a few months of him rescuing you over and over again, and hopefully you haven't died or whatever. At that point you bring up Bruce Wayne. I mean he's getting kidnapped all the time! It has to be incredibly inconvenient for Batman, and he deserves a break for all his hard work. So the next step of this plan is to convince Batman to kidnap Bruce Wayne..."

.....................................................

The comedian paced backstage during intermission, rehearsing the next segment. It seemed to be going well, a good-sized audience. There was one group in the back that was particularly uproarious, save for one adult in the center. But then, the comedian was suddenly surrounded by children who seemingly melted out of the shadows. "I don't think you are supposed to be back here. Are you lost? Do you need help finding your parents? ....wait, shouldn't there have been guards...?"

"Didn't see any," Tim shrugged. Hard to, when they were strung thirty feet up in the rafters of the auditorium. "Anyway, we've just been adoring your act. Our Dad? Not so much, though."

"Eh, can't please them all. Some people just put celebrities on the craziest of pedestals."

"More like he's listening to someone ramble about trying to kidnap him." Beneath a mask a mile thick, Dad was writhing in mortification.

The way the stages of grief so clearly filtered through the comedian's face was fascinating to watch. "..........Bruce Wayne is in the audience?" they asked weakly. "Like. Right now? Watching? Waiting to ambush me with lawyers?"

"Dad's in the bathroom." Batman was desperately out on patrol to avoid his family's heckling.

"Actually, I don't think he's caught on that you're talking about him yet." Jason grinned evilly.

"Man, I heard he was a bimbo but I didn't know it was that severe. My condolences, truly. Thank god the second half of the interview is about trying to plan a dinner date that doesn't get ruined by supervillains. I do NOT need him coming after me for slander. Uh. You aren't offended, right...?" They could not afford any type of lawsuit. Or controversy. The comedian stuck to petty Twitter bait, not actual problems.

The hoard of children beamed. Suddenly, the comedian realized the exits were cut off. A teen's arm looped around theirs, another surprisingly firm grip across their shoulders. "Nah. Actually, we had some suggestions. How'd you like to do a live interview...?"

.....................................................

"Alright folks, you're never going to believe this, but during the intermission I was cornered by children. It was terrible, I was having flashbacks to second grade..." an artistic shudder. "But thankfully, these ones just wanted to harass me after listening to me ramble about trying to seduce and/or kidnap their dad for the last half hour. Can we get a big welcome for the Wayne kids! I'd introduce them but they all look identical to me!" A fantastic roar of applause at the sudden special guest segment. "Luckily, these kids have graciously elected to let me interview them so that I have better data to act on when trying to kidnap their dad. And is he in the audience still...?"

"Nope! Still in the bathroom. Has been for thirty one minutes."

"Either he needs to see a doctor or he's locked himself in again. How often does that happen?"

"At least twice a month," Jason grinned. It wasn't an infrequent excuse to explain disappearances.

"One wonders how he survives. I like that in a man. Now, quick question. Which of you is the cutest?"

"Damian!" the hoard chorused. The youngest one snarled at once, rounding upon the others. The comedian scrambled away in what was unfortunately not a particularly exaggerated fashion. There was pure murder in the twerp's eyes.

Luckily, three brothers restraining him appeared to be enough. "Don't worry he has his rabies shot yearly," one smirked.

With cautious steps, the comedian approached where Damian was being dangled like a baby kitten. A few moments of examination, and they delivered the verdict that Damian was, in fact, a precious baby boy. The child hissed nastily. "Look at his beautiful eyes! Adorable. You could just get lost in them. Which is why I plan to print out approximately 30k pictures of this child and plaster Bruce's entire room with them. He'd never be able to leave, absorbed in his adorable adoptee."

"I'm his only biological offspring!" Damian snapped, literally. Dick had to jerk out of the way to avoid losing his fingers to the chomping child. "And that would never work!"

"Really? Doesn't he keep little picture rolls of you and corner near strangers into cooing over them?" The comedian is passed Bruce's wallet by Stephanie. "Wait, how'd you get this?"

"I took it from Dick, who stole it from Jason who stole it from Tim, who took it to reprimand Damian for stealing it from Dad."

"Wow, he is not observant in the slightest! I feel even better about my odds now. Oh, would you look at that, countless pictures..." They pulled out a roll. And then kept pulling, and kept pulling, the camera roll beginning to puddle at their feet. It was almost like a clown's handkerchief, save the fact the string of photos was sturdy enough to be used as a rope if needed. More than one of Gotham's rogues had been captured under the guise of Bruce rambling about his children.

"How much can he fit in one wallet?!" Something metallic clanged to the floor of the stage, and the comedian held up a pair of expanding handcuffs for the audience to gawk at. "Well well well, looks like I have excellent taste in men. Wait, there's also some pepper spray. When in Gotham, I suppose. Wow that's a concerning number of pocket knives...and approximately 2k in 100 dollar bills-- well isn't this scarily similar to the list of supplies I recommended in step 5! What, did he just hold someone ransom? Wait. Oh my god, that's how he made all his money. It's guilt that makes him a philanthropist! And all this time we thought he was perpetually haunted by his dead parents! WAIT." The comedian let the crowd howl, periodically interjecting as they paced the stage with grandiose graveness. "I have had an epiphany!" The laughter finally petered out, the comedian allowing the silence to linger. "Guys," they said, deadly serious. "If he made his millions kidnapping people, and I kidnap him....does that make ME Bruce Wayne???"

Batman had to dodge jokes from his kids for weeks afterward.

#disclaimer i only know the batfam from memes and cursory research (and pestering my comic fan brother)#i just had a SUPER funny dream last night and had to write it down #batfam #batman #dc fanfic #batfam shenanigans #batfamily #batfam fanfic #batfam fic #batfam funny #bruce wayne #do the butts match #dc #something to nom on

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chemzee · 5 months

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How HPMA characters would do a 20 minutes PowerPoint presentation

aka silly idea 6734 please bear with me and remember it's just my own silly headcanons haha

Daniel: Probably most dull looking out of all of them, just a casual Times New Roman black on white with occasional pictures, no slide transitions. Has just enough info for a single slide, not too short, not too long, just a perfect amount, about maybe 10-12 slides, each idea properly separated. Probably memorized most of it but not all, does occasionally read from screen. So while not too visually interesting, it gets the point across well and to him it's probably more important than wasting time on making it pretty.

Ivy: she strikes me as someone who balances out the information and visual presentation, so I'd say Daniel's presentation but prettier and probably a little shorter, like 8 slides and probably has less info, but enough to explain the topic in question. Probably uses Arial or Calibri (wanted to use Dreaming Outloud but knows its not the best for such presentation) font and has the same transition on all slides. Probably picked a pretty design with pastel colors. Despite the fact she doesn't have a lot of text, she definitely does not remember it at all so she mostly reads it. I think she probably was planning on adding more pictures or transitions but forgot and only realized it the moment she has to make a presentation.

Lottie: definitely the most visually interesting one, she probably would spend A LOT of time on trying to make it look pretty. Uses different transitions but they all go well with the theme of the topic in question and they don't look obnoxious. The ideas are separated well, it has around 10 slides and each looks breathtaking, as she had customized almost everything herself,eather than leaving the design as it is. Uses different fonts for different categories of text, but main text is probably in Century Schoolbook. In terms of information, however, she'd either add too much or too little and she would often read the text on screen, but the prettiness of her presentation makes up for it.

Kevin: he strikes me as a kind of guy who would add TOO much info. He'd probably have to shrink it to font size 6-8 just so he could fit everything and has over 20 slides. Probably the kind of guy to have text on one slide and pictures on the other because he can't fit both on one. Unknown to God, memorized the entire text somehow but gets extremely nervous when presentating it, especially after seeing everyone's reactions to the unreadable wall of text.

Cassandra: she strikes me as a white on black person, probably uses fancy font styles as titles and Times New Roman or Baskerville as normal text. I'd say she's similar to Ivy in a way she balances out the information and the prettiness (I'd say hers is the second prettiest after Lottie's) but has more info than Ivy (around 10-12 slides) and she actually remembers her text almost by memory, so better and fancier Ivy.

Robyn: either did it in 5 minutes and has 7 slides max with minimum amount of info or she just staight up copy pasted a Wikipedia article, with links still attached. At least bothered with the way it looks and by that I mean she chose the random alternative style and random font that looked good enough and called it a day.

Frey Twins: Fisher most likely insisted on making it together with Colby, despite the latter wanting to do his own presentation. Surprisingly, they put in a lot of effort into it, they had put their heart and soul into every single slide. And by that I mean is that they created the worst monstrosity known to mankind, literally the worst looking presentation one would ever imagine. It's too bright, it has small comic sans orange text on red background, the images are squashed, oh and don't get me started on the effects. The transitions and animations take up about 90% of whole presentation, they used literally every known transition available and it's just one after the other. And worst part is? It's completely unoronic, they actually think it looks great.

#silleee ideazz #hpma daniel #hpma ivy #hpma kevin #hpma lottie #hpma cassandra #hpma robyn #hpma colby #hpma fischer #hpma headcanon #I was thinking of adding abby and canon mc but eh I dont feel like it rn

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rainybubbles · 1 year

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How do you meet Haikyuu boys ? part II

Sakusa, Atsumu, Hinata

Part 1 (Kenma, Akaashi, Osamu, Bokuto)

S A K U S A :

-You shot him a ball on the head.

-...yeah, it didn't start well between you two.

-In fact there was a charity event organized by Kenma, that gather different volleyball team in a tournament.

-So you started with your team to warm up.

-The problem was that your teammate, the one supposed to catch the ball you were smashing, was distracted by their huge crush on Hinata.

-The ball rebounded.

-And guess where it ends up?

-On the head of Sakusa who was drinking his water on the bench.

-You apologized a hundred times, explaining the situation.

-But the only thing that Sakusa was thinking was :

-"This is the ball that Atsumu licked."

-The ball was pink and he knew it was the one that Atsumu licked because of a stupid challenge with Bokuto.

-Even if it was two years ago.

-He had Atsumu's DNA on his face.

-He ran to the shower and scrubbed his face as hard as he could, ignoring you.

-When he finished, you proposed buying him some skincare products because his skin was really red.

-He hesitated and just noded.

-Weirdly you both started sending each other some skincare products after that.

-Maybe you had good advices.

-Or maybe he just wouldn't let you feel guilty about this ball when it was Atsumu's fault.

A T S U M U :

-He kneelt down in front of you the first time you met.

-You were one of the last students that didn't have a club.

-And he had a bet with his twin and Suna of who would find a manager first.

-So when he heard that you were free.

-He ran.

-Firstly he tried to convince you with his arguments. ( his thighs and arms)

-Then he showed you the statistics of the team.

-He even made a PowerPoint.

-But you said no.

-So he tried the puppy look.

-Then he fake-cried

-He told you his tragic background with the fact that if you became their manager he could finally make his mom proud and let her rest in peace.

-But you found out she was alive by Osamu.

-So he apologized and asked how he could convince you.

-You joked and said "kneel down and beg."

-...yeah.

-In the corridor in front of anyone, he did that.

-You never felt so embarrassed in your life.

-You accepted so he could quickly stood up.

-A strange first meeting yes.

-But when Atsumu tells the story, he has this smirk and this ambiguous tone which let people think a total different story.

H I N A T A :

-You made edits on social media.

-Some actors, anime characters and so on...

-But what you were known for were your Hinata Shoyo edits.

-You were a fan of his, and your followers loved your edits of him!

-What you didn't expect was him to see them.

-And commenting them.

-And...dm you.

-Complimenting you and thanking you for your hard work.

-You were speechless.

-You started to say "your welcome" and...

-And you two started chatting.

-Firstly about the volleyball, then about some movies or series you watched recently.

-You didn't consider him as a friend because after all he was a star, and he was probably only doing some fan-service.

-But you appreciate it.

-Until he sent you tickets.

-...to see him.

-And talk to him.

-It was VIP ticket.

-...okay maybe it was not only fan-service.

-Maybe he really appreciates talking to you.

-But you stay calm.

-(False you screamed on your pillow and smiled so hard that you felt your zygomatici the next day )

-You hesitated.

-Maybe it was a trick or he was weird or...

-Or you were broke and it was your unique chance to see his match.

-So you went.

-But you texted your friends, let them knowing where you were, with who.

-The match was in fact incredible.

-You were so happy to see that in real life, that at the end you almost forgot you had to meet him with all the VIPs

-But he didn't.

-He even looked after you in the crowd and jumped in front of you.

-He asked if he could hug you.

-You said yes/no.

-He smiled and...

-And that's how you met and slowly became friends and even more...

#haikyuu x reader #haikyuu headcanons #haikyuu!!#x reader #hinata x reader #shoyo x reader #atsumu miya #atsumu x reader #sakusa x reader #sakusa kyoomi x reader

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hufflepuffxmrdrs · 8 months

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Modern Marauders Headcanons (boys version)

Remus:

needs glasses for reading (won't admit it tho)

phone in dark mode

extremely interested in politics

never goes anywhere without his phone

goes to climate demos with Lily

gives online study sessions

the type to text HAHAHAHA when sitting there like •_•

skater.

James:

wears contact lenses for important occasions

phone in light mode

always wears a watch

spams the groupchat with Sirius and Marlene

refuses to get tiktok but watches insta reels

secretly loves disney movies

makes playlists for Lily

collects patterned socks and wears them unirconically

Sirius:

phone in dark mode

lives at concerts/festivals (always drags the others along)

phone is always at 1%

no license, drives anyway

listens to artic monkeys

loves playing lasertag

communicates in memes

can't resist challenging Regulus in Mario kart even though he always loses

Peter:

is tiktok famous for always trying the newest food trends

never let's his phone battery drop under 20%

phone in light mode

always forgets where he put it tho

volunteers at the the local animal shelter

spends too much time on powerpoints

uses duolingo to learn the most random language

wins online chess against the ai

Frank:

makes Alice watch cute romance movies with him

let's his hair air dry after a shower

loves texting this face every chance he gets :D

was the first to have a driver's license out of the friendgroup and involuntarily became a personal chauffeur

phone in light mode

secretly a swiftie

prefers to walk most places if they're close enough

always carries sunscreen around

Regulus:

gamer.

phone in dark mode

probably joint a cult at some time because he got asked on the street and couldn't say no

has a locked folder in his notes app that is actually a journal, no one knows about it

drinks energy drinks like water

actually really tidy handwriting (uses goodnotes for studying)

writes poetry and posts it on tumblr

Barty:

plays electric guitar

has his own cinema room in his parents basement (they watch movies together there a lot)

is in therapy for anger issues

listens to punk

phone in dark mode

competes in undergound boxing as a hobby

junk food addict

calls everyone "bro" no matter who he's talking to

Evan:

tatoo artist

has to wear braces

is a natural dark-blonde but bleaches his hair to make it even lighter

the only one to know about Regs Journal

only uses over ear headphones because the others hurt his ears

creates digital art on his ipad and carries it around everywhere

phone in light mode

is secretly into skincare

#I will also upload a girls version #marauders #maraudes headcanons #headcanons #modernheadcanons #remus lupin #james potter #sirius black #peter pettigrew #frank longbottom #barty crouch jr #evan rosier

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leoba · 2 years

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Medieval Self-Insert Fan Art: Two amazing examples

Last night my favorite Discord server had an anniversary party, and we all presented to each other like the nerds we are. Usually when I present at conferences I post the talk to my blog, but this one felt like it would make a great inaugural post for this new Tumblr (which is going to be my personal-official space in the same way my Twitter account is now)

I gave a little presentation on MEDIEVAL SELF-INSERT FAN ART with two examples, and I share the slides and my comments here for you.

The first example: Owner portraits in books of hours, for when you want to hang out with Jesus and the BVM.

First, what are books of hours? Books of hours are...

Books of hours can be personalized in a variety of ways (for much more about personalization check out Kate Rudy’s book Piety in Pieces: How Medieval Readers Customized their Manuscripts, which you can read for free here). Owner portraits are part of the creation of the book of hours, so it might be more correct to call them commissioners portraits (I don’t think I’ve ever seen them called that, though). The person commissioning the book would work with the artist or artists to determine in which scene they would be included. In every case I’m aware of, owners are presented in supplication - kneeling, with hands together in prayer - and on the edge of the picture, present and part of the story, but not central to it.

Following are many examples of owner portraits from several different manuscripts in Philadelphia (all of which were digitized through the Bibliotheca Philadelphiensis project).

Some portraits, like this one from PMA 1945-65-14, show the book’s original owner. This is Étienne Thirion, in his own frame, kneeling at prayer, in a page facing the Annunciation - as though he’s watching, or perhaps considering the story, but not part of it.

More commonly, the owner is painted into the frame. Here, in this example from FLP Lewis E 112, he joins a couple of angels visiting with Mary and Baby Jesus. Unlike the previous example, we don’t know the name of the original owner.

Owners didn’t only include themselves in happy scenes. In this example, from UPenn Ms. Codex 1056, the owner (in traditional 15th century dress and a black coif) joins the women grieving for the recently deceased Jesus.

Here’s another happy one, from FLP Lewis E 123.

The original owner of PMA 1924-19-1 includes two owner portraits, one with Mary and a nursing Baby Jesus and one with the deceased Jesus laying in God’s the Father’s lap.

One more! Another woman (yes, women owned books of hours and other books, and had them made), and like the first one we looked at, she’s in her own frame, looking at or contemplating Mary and Jesus on the facing page.

That’s the first example of self-insert in medieval art. The next example is a single manuscript, rather than a genre, and although it is religious it isn’t only religious:

U. Glasgow MS Hunter 231 is a collection of devotional and philosophical works, copied in the 14th century (here’s a blog post about it, and this post includes photos from the blog). It includes a lot of texts by the 1st century Roman philosopher and rhetorician Seneca, which I find incredibly amusing for some reason. I guess I don’t think of Seneca as being terribly popular? But there’s a lot of him here.

Here’s a photo of the book from when it was featured on Coffee With A Codex (I forgot to hit record until 10 minutes in, oops). That’s Seneca there between Plato and Aristotle, with gray hair and a pink hat. We’ll take a closer look at this illustration later.

More details about the contents of MS Hunter 231.

Animation works better in PowerPoint but I’m doing my best to give you the experience. I love this manuscript for a lot of reasons but one thing that strikes me (aside from the self-insert fan art) is how oddly it contrasts with itself.

First, it has some really fantastic illuminations made by an identifiable artist (“Master of the Taymouth Hours” - so called because he is also responsible for illustrating a book of hours called the Taymouth Hours, now London, British Library, Yates Thompson MS 13). They are detailed and colorful and the gold has been incised with designs (seriously, look at the gold in the photos, it’s so well done). So whoever had this manuscript made wanted premium art.

Second, in contrast, the script isn’t great. It’s an informal gothic cursive script. That’s it on the right; on the left, another manuscript, also written in England at about the same time, written in a more formal gothic textualis quadrata script (it’s FLP Lewis E 84, a theological miscellany). The cursive would write more quickly, take less time to write, and would thus have been less expensive. So while the texts are important to the commissioner, the writing of that text appears to be less important than the artwork.

Third - the parchment. It’s not great! There are a lot of uncut edges (this photo is from a different manuscript, UPenn LJS 24, but this is the kind of thing you’ll see in MS Hunter 231), holes, and visible hair follicles.

Again, this means that great parchment wasn’t the commissioner’s priority. Not great parchment, not a great script, but really fucking great art.

And who is this commissioner? Here he is with Mary and Baby Jesus and a couple of angels - he’s pictured very much like the owners in the owner portraits, kneeling, hands held out in prayer.

His name is ROGER OF WALTHAM and we know a bit about him! We even have an idea of what he looked like: wavy gray hair, long on the sides and back but cut with a tonsure around his head, and a gray beard. He’s pretty distinctive-looking.

This is just to give you a sense of size. It’s not a really huge book (see my hands in the screenshot further up), so that illuminated initial isn’t big. But it’s so well done!

Here’s a close-up! Again, it’s the same style as an owner portrait (I mean... it is one, really, just in this purpose-made book and not in a book of hours). That’s Roger at the bottom, dressed in red.

And here he is again, watching the Blessed Virgin Mary be assumed into heaven after her death.

And again! Waiting patiently for Eucharist.

And with Mary and Jesus! (You can really see the design in the gold in this photo)

With Mary and Jesus again.

... and again. (I love that patch of gray on his forehead)

Here’s a larger illustration, Jesus crowning Mary... and there’s Roger kneeling at the bottom, yet again.

And here he is at the Crucifixion.

Here’s a fantastic full-page illustration. That’s the head of God at the top, with some angels, and in the middle is Saint Benedict and Saint Paul. And there? At the bottom? Who’s that?

Let’s take a closer look.

squints

It looks like Roger. And Roger! (I’m not 100% certain that is two Rogers, the fellow on the right could be someone else, but I wouldn’t exactly be surprised if it was two Rogers)

Finally, Seneca. Here’s Roger hanging out with his favorite philosopher! (No beard but maybe this is young!Roger?) That’s Seneca on the left, slightly higher in the frame, with Roger below, in the position of teacher and student. This is a pretty typical artistic trope that you see a lot (I’ve included another example from FLP Lewis E 37 just below).

And finally, the pièce de résistance: We return to this photo of Plato, Seneca, and Aristotle (we know who these are because they are labeled).

Seneca - in the middle, facing the reader head-on, an indication of his importance - looks familiar. Take a closer look. Closer. Closer!

The wavy gray hair? The beard? I’m not the first person to note that Seneca looks an awful lot like Roger of Waltham. His final self-insert: literally making himself into his favorite philosopher.

Thanks to Julie Gardham, Senior Librarian at the University of Glasgow who introduced me to MS Hunter 231 and Roger of Waltham’s place in it.

#medieval #manuscript #medieval manuscripts #roger of waltham #university of glasgow #ms hunter 231 #self insert fan art

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