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#My brain has broken multiple times now
digifandom · 11 months
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So I'm writing a fanfic for my post 02 au and I'm wondering has anyone ever just spend multiple weeks teaching yourself the Japanese school system and then double checking each and every character's age and birthdate that you setup for them so that way (despite it being an au, in which you can change things and make your own rules) it can be relatively accurate to real life.
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Yeah, me neither. Only an insane person would do that!
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“You’ve fallen for them, haven’t you?” Price asked, following Simon’s line of sight, his eyes landing on your figure.
Your laughter filled the air, causing a smile to form on both the men’s lips. They’d been watching you for the last few minutes, casually joking about with Soap.
Simon was quiet as his mind filled with thoughts of you. The way you always smiled at him, even in the worst of times. The way you laughed so care free, a laugh that could cure any ailment Simon could possibly have. The way you cared for him, more than he’d ever had someone care for him in his life.
Prices eyes drifted back toward Simon, a small smile dancing on his lips. “It warms an old man’s heart you know.”
Simon looked over at his captain, his brow furrowing in confusion. “What’s that?”
“I’ve known you for how many years, Simon?” Price rubbed his chin thoughtfully as he held Simon’s gaze. “Never once have I seen you smile the way you do around them. You deserve to be happy, son.”
Simon let Price’s words sink in, the prospect of being with you in that way was not entirely unwelcome for Simon. But he was scared. Simon was such a broken mess of a man that he truly believed nothing could piece him back together.
Price stood, drawing Simon’s attention back to him, and clasped Simon’s shoulder firmly. “Don’t let that thick skull of yours prevent you from being happy. Take it from someone who knows.”
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Simon found you again later that day, his palms sweaty from his nerves. “Hey, you got a sec?”
You looked up from the stack of paperwork in front of you, the warm smile lining your lips as you looked at Simon had his knees nearly buckling. “Of course.”
Any confidence Simon had walking in there, was now gone as he stared down at you. Your E/C eyes melting his insides as he struggled to formulate the words he’d just practiced earlier.
“I..” Damnit! What was wrong with him? He was Simon fucking Riley for god sakes. He was supposed to be fearless. Yet here he was rendered a stuttering mess in front of you. “Fuck.”
You let out a soft giggle, causing Simon’s insides to warm. “Is everything okay, Si?”
Your nickname for him always had Simons brain in a fog, and it certainly wasn’t helping his case in this moment. “Yeah, yeah I just uh..”
You patiently watched as Simon struggled to form the words, your smile never faltering as his eyes drifted toward your lips.
“Are you free later?” He finally asked, his words coming out rushed.
“Is there a training?” You pondered, your mind flicking through the upcoming training schedule. “I wasn’t made-.”
“No.” Simon interjected. “It’s uh.. it’d just be you and I. There’s this pub I like to go to by base.”
Simon didn’t think it possible, but your smile widened even more, taking up the entire lower half of your face. “Are you asking me on a date, Mr. Riley?”
His cheeks burned crimson as your teasing, his belly doing flip flops as he gave you a curt nod. “Affirmative.”
“I would love that.” You said, as you stood to your feet. “It’s about damn time you asked me.”
Simon smiled brighter and wider than he’d ever had in his life, his mind now swirling with thoughts of the perfect first date. For the first time in a long time, Simon Riley was excited.
Maybe something could piece together his broken self after all.
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A/N: please excuse my multiple Simon fluff pieces. Ya girl has to heal🥹
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nexusnyx · 1 year
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my fellow, my guy
Joel Miller x f!Reader [5.3k] Summary: All his attempts at faking nonchalance about anything are gone out of the window just like that. Four words and Joel's changed. In his bones, the very chemistry of his brain. "'Cause he's my guy." How did he ever manage to not claim you in front of the world? He has no clue, but Joel's changing that. Tonight.
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— A/n 📝I wanted to try something different. What if possessive!Reader brought out the possessiveness in Joel? Reblogs and comments make all the difference. — Warnings⚠️ mature content—explicit depictions of sex, so minors dni. | 🏷️ age gap, established relationship, rough sex, possessive!Joel, dirty talking, thigh riding, spanking, soft!Dom!Joel, possessive!Reader, oral (f receiving), penetration, creampie.
ㅤㅤㅤㅤmasterlist | read on ao3
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In the middle of what seemed like a sea of infinite, boring nothingness, Joel is hooked by the magnitude of your nature's force — the power in the way you stand; your presence.
His favorite thing ever since he met you. Everything about you.
Since he arrived at Jackson's community with Ellie two years ago, he's been blinded by it.
Your light, heat, glow. Joel might as well be a moth, and it amazed him now that he thought of it, how long he managed to pretend he was anything by mesmerized by your flames. In the middle of the meeting, you utter the words that snap something inside him, and Joel feels his inner workings shifting. Four words and Joel's changed:
"'Cause he's my guy."
All his attempts at faking nonchalance about anything are gone out of the window just like that. In his bones, the very chemistry of his brain — Joel feels a snap, and he sort of... embraces it.
There's silence around the table for only a second.
Nathan had asked: "But why does he get to go if it's that dangerous? I get it when you go by yourself 'cause we know you're different, but I've asked you multiple times, and it's always no. I just — I don't get why he's going."
And you had answered.
Loud and clear.
"Not that you have to get anything, Nathan, since you don't have the ground knowledge to be second-guessing my decisions of any plans, but — it's simple. I'll answer you. 'Cause he's my guy. And I'll take him to wherever I please."
You had paused, lifted both eyebrows in question, and Nathan remained silenced.
Joel freezes at first, too. When you say 'he's my guy' the words shoot like a freezing spell that hits his blood, but even with almost all eyes turning shamelessly to him, Joel can feel his shoulders relaxing further back the more you stare at him. In only a second he sees a lot of words running through your eyes, and all he can think back is a litany of — yes exactly yes—
He leans back on the chair's backrest. Both of his feet slide a few inches further, his legs spreading wider.
He is your guy.
Has been for a while now. A year — almost a year a half, if he was being really accurate. While both of you managed to keep that hidden for the better half of that time, lately the nosy (and delusional) jackasses like Nathan were prodding into your business with jabs here and there. Tauntings about the 'nature' of things between you and him. As if they couldn't see it in both of your eyes. Your postures. The way you walked side by side.
No matter how private you two tried being, you two almost had rings gravitating the bubble created around you, like Saturn in the sky.
Joel knew they frowned upon him. Talked about him on his back — about him and his daughter, about his daughter's personality, and the way Joel Miller seems to 'have only smiles for his Ranger neighbor'.
The silence around the table's broken by his own voice, letting the words slip out of his tongue. "Don't worry, Nathan. 'm not decorative. I've got good aim. If you're worried about her safety, don't be."
What a jackass move. That's what the smile on the corner of your mouth said to him. "See? So helpful. We'll all be fine, and once we're through there and come back, everyone else can be fine too knowing there's nothing to worry about."
With a sigh, you get up before Nathan can finish collecting his patience from the floor, or wipe away the humiliation of being rejected for what is far from the first time since he's unable to accept a refusal without embarrassing himself.
"Are we all clear?"
After a round of verbal agreement from the table — one of which comes through gritted teeth — you nod once, put on a smile, and sigh loudly. "Excellent. You're all free to go."
It was so, so — hot. Enticing, and hypnotizing.
The power you had over people that came not because of something futile, but because of how capable your hands were. Joel was an imbecile if he was being honest with himself.
How did he ever manage to not claim you in front of the world? He has no clue, but Joel's changing that.
Tonight.
He sits back and waits while the room empties out, slowly.
Some people linger back to talk to each other, to him, to you. He answers all of them without ever turning his body away from you, and when there are only a handful of people left, Joel remains seated, with no rush to gather his jacket or things since he's leaving with the person who's closing the whole building.
He's leaving with you.
Tommy, Mercedes, and Max are the last ones hanging around, and while the two latter go exchange a word with you — "good gods, can we do a round table vote to kick fucking Nathan out of here? I know he's a master engineer or whatever, but fuck, man, he's annoying", starts Max — his brother knocks his elbow on his side.
Joel looks up to find the smirk on Tommy's face.
"If you had feathers, you'd be peacocking all over the goddamn room," he whispers for Joel's ears only.
Joel laughs under his breath. "Shut up."
Tommy shakes his head, laughing as well. "Nah, I won't, actually. I happen to like seein' that stupid look on your goddamn face."
"Is that so?" Joel wants to sound a little more sarcastic, but with the huge smile he feels imprinted on his face, it's impossible to do so.
"Damn right it is," Tommy chuckles. "And you know why it's the best seein' that smile puttin' even a glint in your eyes, huh?"
Oh, god, here he goes. "Why?"
"Because this is the best damn I told you so on the planet. Well — one of the best. There's space for more," Tommy pouts, looking up with a musing look. "A couple of really big others." He looks down at Joel again, smiling from ear to ear. "I've gotten really smart in your absence, and I wanna hear the day when you'll admit it."
Joel's amused by the confidence — if Tommy's right about many other things Joel will find out eventually, but this, he owns.
Tommy introducing Joel to you with only a nudge in the right direction was all it took.
"We'll see about those," Joel answers and Tommy huffs good-heartedly in response, an image most familiar to Joel.
Now again, after almost decades without it.
Joel's happy for many reasons, it seems.
He sinks his feet in the feeling, not wanting to track back to things he's unable to change.
Tommy opens his mouth to say something, but Joel catches a cue from across the room:
Keys. Your set of keys when grabbed from the table make a known sound, and it's like an alarm — a triggering sound that connects to routine. He hears them and Tommy turns around, seeing how Max and Mercedes are leaving.
Joel and Tommy move in sync toward you, and everybody — with the exception of Joel and you — bids their goodbyes at the door outside.
As soon as they're out of sight, Joel turns to find your eyes already waiting for his.
He never had this type of relationship before. Never saw in someone's eyes the thoughts running through their mind at that exact moment, and it was exhilarating.
You knew your words had affected them.
The only thing you were probably unaware of was the epiphany that accompanied them — the moment his mind came to a halt.
The inner fight over faking being empty.
It was so silly. Joel was full.
"If I kiss you here, we're not gonna stop," Joel informs you.
A breathless chuckle leaves you, and you take a step, falling gracefully into his hold. "Really?"
Joel loves sultriness in your voice. "Really." He goes back to the words he's been letting your mind soak up. Closes his eyes, leaning his forehead on yours as his arm locks around you. "How could you do that to me, hm?"
His own voice is wrecked. Sounds like something out of a ridiculous sex tape, or one of those Star Wars movies from back in the way.
Seemingly content with what you've done, Joel feels your giggling more than hears it—the huffs of breath on his chin and cheeks tickle. "I wasn't really thinking when I said it? It's just — it was the third time he questioned me choosing you to team up and I know it's stupid to let it get to me, I know Nathan's just — jealous, which is even more ridiculous than anything, but I hate the way he speaks over me sometimes. I hate it! And when I saw... it'd slipped out."
It's the coyness at the end of your ramble that gets him to open his eyes.
"Slipped out," he echoes.
You nod, smiling up at him. A little shy, a little devious. "Yeah."
The worst part is — he believed you. "I believe you." Truth does that. It slips out. It's uncontainable, like sunshine or water or rain.
Then, you're happier, and whenever your smile widened like that, Joel was always taken over by the desire to kiss you. This time, he embraced the hunger with open arms and leaned to capture what he wanted.
None of you discussed the lack of control of doing this only seconds after he just said there was no controlling him, but this was more than a need — or delicious, wet evidence —, it was breathing.
Joel inhales deeply while his tongue tangles with yours, his hands finding their path easily to your hair through your favorite spots and detours on your neck. He kisses them just to breathe.
He went without addiction for so long in this world.
When your throat vibrations with a low moan, Joel knows why.
He'd been weak before. No room in him for addictions if there were no higher parts of him working. No real thinking, feeling, existing.
People turned to things that gave them a thrill because existing demanded too much. A strenuous task with little to no rewards, which made everyone to need an escape.
Thankfully, you were no escape.
And as far as vices went, the taste of you was an infinite, healthy, and powerful source for one.
He pulls back for oxygen, breathing out slowly the warmness you leave in his chest.
"So I'm your guy." Joel needed to hear it again, maybe. He liked how the words sounded on his lips, too.
"You are."
Sweet Jesus.
He needs to get you home before starting this shit. "Fuck," it slips out. You laugh, resting your forehead on his sternum, and Joel nods to you and to himself. "'kay. We need to go. Let's go?"
"Yeah".
"Alright. No distractin' me while I'm drivin', ya hear me?"
Despite having already done everything tonight, you still have the audacity to whine at his request. Joel ought to slap your ass right there in the middle of the street. On the sidewalk outside where both of you work, often.
He takes advantage of the hand on your hair, making a fist with it — as carefully as he can be — and grips just right.
Putting his mouth to your ear, he whispers. "I'll spank ya 'till your ass is red if you whine again before my tongue's buried in your pussy." Joel lives for the way you gasp for him. He presses his whole body flushed with yours, and hears the repressed groan in your throat when you feel it. "I've been half hard since what you said sank in. Calling me yours like that, claiming me for everybody to hear. Had to fuckin' stop myself from thinkin' about fucking you on that table for everyone to see. Don't make me crazier than I already am, I swear to—" his final words end muffled on your lips.
Instead of finishing, he just gets another little taste of you.
One for the road.
For safe keeping.
Joel had such a distance between his mind now and the memories of his young adult years that every time this happened, he felt a little choked up:
nostalgia.
True, genuine nostalgia.
For him, it came in waves.
It smelled of his first trip to the beach, and the taste of gelato sticking sweet on his tongue. Showing him real sweetness for the first time.
That's what driving home to you feels like.
Joel's still not used to your eyes on him. Being looked at with so much hunger scared him at first. Joel thought these days were past him. He imagined luxury, lust, adventure, and the nice, saccharine-type of adrenaline all belonged in his past.
To a Joel that died when Cordyceps wrecked the world.
It turned out that your fingertips on his thigh touched the parts of him that proved his wonderings wrong.
Sure, he had trouble getting hard all by himself if he wanted to jack off on a random weekday, but — put you biting your bottom lip on the passenger seat, and Joel was bulging inside his jeans, stiff as a rock and with no rush to see the end of it.
The silence that blanketed the car comfortably is thrown out of the window when you two enter his room, fully clothed.
You are so good for him.
When Joel kicks his bedroom door closed behind him, you are still. Waiting for it.
Knowing exactly what he needs.
A shiver runs through his whole body, and Joel sits on his armchair to remove his boots. He turns on the soft light on the interrupter behind him, feeling around the wall for it so his eyes can remain on you. When the room's illuminated by yellow, warm light, Joel kicks off his shoes and spreads his legs, making himself comfortable.
"Take off your shoes." He loves this part. "And your pants." Joel's hand comes up to his beard, rubbing the patchy hair. "Then get here," he pats his lap, and watches as you do as he asked.
Slowly. Exactly how he likes it.
Joel keeps smoothing out the hair on his face as he watches you do it. The right word for what awakens inside him every time his eyes land on more and more skin, and more of your body, is adoration.
He'd been attracted to some people since the outbreak happened, it'd be impossible for him not to — Joel pretended for a long while to be devoid of feelings, not being dead.
Attraction and primal, raw desire might belong in the same family, but they lived on almost opposite ends of the spectrum. The first was the beginning of 'Interest' while the second was the furthest point of it.
Joel desired you for things that went far beyond your looks, but gods—
The looks.
He was painfully attracted to you, and he knew it dripped out of him.
When you strip off from all the item he asks for and walks to him, Joel puts his legs together to give you space in his armchair. His arms open up to welcome your body straddling his, then wrap around you, pulling you as close as possible.
As if he wished to trap you.
You wished he would.
For a while, all he does is feel you up.
His hands run over every exposed inch of your skin while his face rubs on your neck and your face, beard leaving the first tingles of what later will be red burns. Meanwhile, your body ignites as if fuel is being added to fire.
The longer Joel touches you, rubs on you, leaves trails of his mouth and his kisses on the skin it passes through, the hotter you burn. It starts as a fire in your brain — Joel started as a single flame somewhere in your mind, one you were unable to pin a finger on and eventually put out, and it grew, and it took over. His heat spreads from a fog around your thoughts to your neck. It descends to your neck, then it warms your chest.
When his tongue and teeth scrape a spot in your jugular, the storm he caused settles in between your legs, causing them to rut against his lap, rocking against the bulge inside his pants.
Joel hums in your neck, pulling back to look at your face. His smile is smug, and you say it you hate it every time you see it. "Stupid cocky smile." The words are ineffective as always — in face of how breathy you sound, the way your hips are moving in circles on top of him, they're empty.
"You love my cocky everything." Stupid cocky bastard.
Your mouth crashes against him, landing in a bruising kiss.
Joel never minded your roughness.
He embraced it however it came, whenever it came. Joel liked it. In all its forms, it was beautiful to him.
It matches the despair inside him. Joel enjoys how he's able to devour you, sometimes whole, because you feast on him as well. You tongue is hot and heavy on his, and your moans awaken the words from the meeting back to him.
Joel kisses even harder.
His hands — one on the nape of your neck and the other grabbing at your back, your boobs, your stomach — both move to your waist and guide your moves to slow it down.
When you pull back to breathe, Joel wants to feel everything.
He takes off your shirt in one swift motion, throwing them off somewhere without care. He removes your top as well, then takes a moment to appreciate the view.
"Take my clothes off, baby." He hates to have you off his lap for even a moment, but for this, it's worth it.
Since the first time he slept with you, Joel chooses to let you undress him if he can. If he's not in a rush to have you, if it's not one of those incredible moments when he already wakes up with you naked and him still only in boxers — if he can, Joel picks this—
Your fingers sometimes are desperate. Buttons are your worst enemy when all you want is him naked for you, but most of the time, you take your time. Do it slowly, taking off each item with the care he never seems to have for your clothes because all Joel cares for is your skin.
"I like taking them off."
"Why?"
"Remember how I asked you that first time to do it?"
"Yeah."
"So — I wanted to do it for so long. I—don't laugh at me, or — look at me weird, but. I thought about it. A lot. Thought about... all these layers you're often using. And — I'm crazy about your body. You—I know you complain about the aches and joke about being old and frail, which is — bullshit. Ridiculous, and everyone knows it. It's just... I like that you let me do it. I like that I get to undress you. It's hot. You're hot."
The memory strikes him again — as it does when he's in this position — and Joel feels a little raw.
Now that he knows how you feel, it makes it more real.
How you peel off his shirt by running your palms across his chest all the way through his back. Undoing the zipper of his pants, you palm the outline of his cock, then get down on both knees to pull them all the way off. Joel helps by lifting his hips a little, and seeing the way your eyes snap to his groin makes him burn.
Joel knows exactly what you'll go for — he watches you remove and throw his jeans to the side, hands running up his calves while you stand on both knees to nibble little bites on his thighs.
He hisses, feeling his dick twitch the closer you get to it. He lets you have your fun, no matter how much it feels like torture.
Your tongue touches the muscle of his inner thigh, sucking a bruise in there, and Joel gasps. "You ain't gonna do what you think you are."
You muffle what he images would be another whine by sucking a bruise on his other thigh. "Please?" You blink your gorgeous eyes, gazing straight at him.
Joel cups your face in one hand, smiling again. He refrains from answering because he likes what comes next.
The kisses that inch closer to his cock. The innocent, and yet siren eyes that stay steady on his while you whisper. "I've been good. Why not?"
"'Cause I have other plans for you."
You perk up. "What d'you want?"
Joel pats his lap. "Get back here."
You do as he says in a second, but instead of straddling both of his thighs, Joel guides you to one of his thighs. It's a tight squeeze in the armchair, but he makes it work. He pulls your panties to the side and pulls you down, feeling the wetness of your cunt at the first movement of your hips.
"That's it," he coos, tangling one hand in your hand to pull you in for a kiss. "Wanna see you get off on my thigh, baby," he kisses your neck, and smiles when you moan at his words and grind harder on him. "Just like that. Gonna use me? Hm?"
"Yeah."
"Gonna use your guy?"
"Joel." Your movements back and forth create a path of slickness in his thigh, and for someone who occasionally needs a little hand from you to get fully hard, he would believe the horniness in his mind that says he's just as young as ever. He feels he's never this hard — this desperate; the wet patch in his boxers only amplifies the louder you moan for him, and with your mouth back on his, Joel can imagine he's a mess.
Not as much as you. Nonetheless — a mess.
With a red, plump mouth, you pull back from his kisses to hold onto his face. Your other hand is gripping the back of his head, and Joel loves the look of pure lust on your face.
The look of someone who's in another dimension of feeling good.
He did that. Joel groans low in his throat when he thinks of it, and assaults your neck with kisses. One hand comes down to slap your ass, and you yelp — the look of surprise that flashes across your features is replaced by one of absolute pleasure within a split second, and Joel growls at witnessing it.
He slaps the other side with his other hand, and you cry for him.
"You're gonna cum like this." He knows you can. Joel's tested several different ways he can bring you to the edge, and this is one of his favorites. "Then, I'm gonna fuck you with my tongue."
"Oh, god." Your cries are accompanied by whimpers at every push of your hips on his thigh, and the slick sounds covering the air are taking away Joel's ability to think of anything other than you.
"Yeah — 'm gonna fuck you so hard, baby, goddamn it."
"Just like — like you want to? On the table?"
"Yes. Fuck—just like that." Joel sees you're teetering on the edge. He recognizes the trembling of your hand fisted in his hand, and the desperate way your hips start moving, almost losing balance. He leans to capture your bottom lip with his teeth, wanting so badly he could eat you. "Cum for me. If I'm yours, then you're mine, right?" Your hips falter at the words, losing their rhythm due to the shiver that runs through you. "That's it. Show me you're my lady. All fuckin' mine. Always so good for me, so fuckin' perfect—god, yeah. Like that — so damn good. Cum, baby. Don't stop. Keep cummin' for me."
Between your first and second orgasm, Joel gets lost in his mind and the moment.
It's rare for that to happen.
For someone who was used to panic rising so fast in his chest that it led to his heart trying to run out of his chest, or at least beat fast enough for it to feel like that, having no other thoughts but the present one and to submerge in what he's feeling.
He had to stop running from it — he feels.
Life never stopped, even if it felt like it did. No broken watch would stop time, and it was you who brought him the realization.
Joel shows his gratitude in one of the few ways he knows to.
One of the few ways he's at least certain he's good at.
By bringing you white bliss, and making you drown in nothing but good, for as long as he can. He carries you to bed and eats you from behind at first. That way Joel can fuck his tongue deeper inside you — he can bend you as far as you'll go and use his tongue until his jaw aches; until it stings and then burns because the reward tastes sweet on his tongue. It washes away all the hurt and gets his humming against your wet and pulsing core.
When he turns you over to do the same thing again but with you on your back, Joel gets lost in the middle of the way.
Your hands make grabby gestures at him.
Legs shaking, your skin covered in sweat, the way you say, "Please get on top of me." It's all too much.
Joel loses his last piece of clothing in one motion, and does something he should know better than to risk.
Grabbing his cock by the base, he drags the head between the lips of your cunt, pulling a moan from both of you. This is where he usually would grab a condom — after teasing you, giving you just the head, making you spread your legs wider or lock your legs behind his ass just to pull him closer.
Not this time. This time, he leans down until his mouth is on your ear and asks. "Can I? I understand if you don't want to—"
"Please. Yes, yes," you interrupt, hooking your legs around him and already pushing his hips closer.
Joel slides deeper, grunting on your neck. "Always so tight," he sounds drunk. "Lemme in, baby... Like that. Breathe deep." Joel's a big man, and the way you slowly relax to take all of him gets to his head every time. "Atta fuckin' girl, jus' like that."
"Joel this feels even better." The whine around the words makes him cry on your shoulder. He knows this is far from being the last time now.
He pulls out and slams it back in. "Fuckin' hell — it does." He thrusts his hips hard, but not fast. He likes to enjoy your sounds.
The filthy ones that fill the room.
If you sense that something shifted in Joel — something in his core, a foundation that he painted a coat of invisible ink over it as if such a thing existed — nothing about you lets that out.
You always held his face in your hands as he buried himself inside you.
The way you look at him — nothing about it is new, either.
Only this time, Joel lets himself feel it all the way through.
He is your guy, after all. He can feel all the good things you bring out in him because you want him to. It matters to you if he's happy or not. If he's safe, and fed, and not in pain. Joel buries himself in you the same way he buried all his hopes long ago — you found it in him, anyway. Years later, somewhere between all the grief and dust, you picked it up and gave it back to him even if he never asked for it.
Joel's usually harsher with you, not because he's trying to be mean, but because you like it when it hurts a little.
"Wanna feel you tomorrow—" are words he's heard a lot coming from you. Today, you say, "You gonna let your cum drip out of me?"
And it fucks with his head. He nods in answer, snapping his hips harder. Joel glues his forehead on yours and nods, grunting with the effort and the delicious drag of your tight cunt squeezing around him.
"'m close, Joel — feels too good."
That's his favorite song. How out of breath you sound, voice higher than ever. "'m gonna cum when you cum. 'm right behind you, baby. 's ok. Take your time. Feels good? Hm? Taking every fuckin' inch of me?"
"Oh god, Joel." Your hips are pushing back on his, and your arms use his shoulders for leverage as you hold onto him.
He laughs, kissing you through gasps and his own sounds. He shares the same air as you, wanting to fuck you so fast and hard that both of your hips will be hurting tomorrow, but he wants this to go on for a long time more than he wants to lose himself in you.
When your begging for "More, please Joel, more—" starts, Joel sits both of you up, pulling you back to his lap. He puts a pillow behind your back, supporting you against the headboard, and sits on his kneels and heels even if tomorrow they'll be aching.
You give him massages when he's hurting.
Joel needs to be as close to you as possible. Like this, your bodies are one.
Like this, you can plant your feet against the bed and fuck him back, as hard and as fast as you want to.
Joel gets a face full of your boobs bouncing up and down and your screams muffling his moans.
He feels it coming — you cling your arm around his shoulder and pull his face to yours again, your mouth hanging open in a perfect O until your eyes close shut.
Joel seems to lose all notion of time as you fall apart on top of him. He feels it all over your body. The orgasm shakes you whole, the trembling only losing for the way your cunt squeezes so hard around him, making it even harder to pull out. He fucks you deep and hard then, and it takes only a few more thrusts before he's moaning in your ear as he fills you up.
Coming down from a high is always difficult.
With you in his arms, it never happens.
Joel plays with his own cum leaking down your thighs, and smiles to himself when you tremble in sensitivity at his minor touches. He'll take a warm cloth and clean you both later, but first, he'll make a mess.
"All mine," he tells you. His fingers graze your clitoris, drenched in the mix of his own release and yours, and something in your eyes tell him you know what he's talking about.
While he may be unable to say some things — and your existence is challenging even that — he can say this much.
He agrees with you.
"All mine," you echo. Your kiss on his lips taste sweeter than before. They taste like I'm yours and you're mine, and for now, that's all he needs.
Joel has you, and you have him. It's all he needs to start.
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🏷️ @sakuralikestars — @mostardentily — @thegreat-annamaria — @leiticia — @polyglot-noodle — @casssiopeia — @earthtocharlene — @levylovegood — @simply-sams-things — @lavenderhhze — @gracie7209 — @waywardwolfbonklight — @shadytalething — @yesimwriting — @celestialstar111 — @averysblog — @pedrostories — @fleursirvart
⚠️ if anyone being tagged would like to not be, just let me know in my inbox (which you can also use to talk to me about all the appeals of Joel Miller with his hair slicked back. Just saying hehe.
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thebibliosphere · 5 months
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In case you were wondering how deep down the Batfam fixation hole I am, it's something I've actually been talking about in therapy a lot.
Not like, in a worried way, more just when my therapist asks me what I'm doing in my downtime, my answer always used to be either "sleeping" or "I don't have downtime. I have too much work to do."
Now my answer is "playing my Batman game" or "watching Batman show/reading comics/writing unhinged Batman x Muppet fanfic."
And my therapist is delighted. She's fucking ecstatic. She's like, "You have interests again!" and I'm like !!!! Because here's the thing.
Almost dying in 2019 kinda irrevocably fucked up my brain, like, a lot. Like a lot, a lot. And I've been grieving over that for the last few years as well as recovering from the physical aspects of it. And to cope with it, I threw myself into work even though I wasn't physically or mentally well enough, and that made everything worse, and well, if you've been here, you know.
My brain has not been kind to me for a long time. It still isn't. But I do the work. I do multiple types of therapy a week. I piece myself back together on the daily and try to remember what it means to be human and not just this numb static void that sometimes sounds like shrieking if you listen too closely.
And then randomly, a few months ago a friend bought me Gotham Knights on Steam, and it was like a light turned back on. The engine that'd been refusing to turn over for years suddenly sputtered back to life, and something in my brain went, "Hey, I remember this... this is fun?"
And then I started tentatively searching the tags here on Tumblr, and yeah, actually. I remember this. I remember enjoying this. I can dip my toes into this. This is safe. This is a childhood interest from Before the almost-dying-trauma. And besides, it won't get in the way of my work. This isn't going to consume me. Nothing consumes me like it used to. I'm too broken for that.
Except, haha, jokes on me because, for some fucking reason, Brucie fucking Wayne and his gaggle of chaotic crime-fighting children is what reached into my brain, picked up my trauma, and started shaking it loose like a category 7 earthquake.
I actually laughed about that with my therapist a few weeks ago. Of all characters, of all pieces of media, it's Batman that's helping me process a significant chunk of my emotional trauma in a healthy way.
The most emotionally constipated vigilante in superhero existence, and I'm weeping like a child every time I get an achievement in Gotham Knights, and it says some bullshit like this:
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ID: a purple steam achievement icon that says: He'd Be So Proud Of You. Reach the maximum level as any member of the Batman Family. 6.3% of players have this achievement. /end ID.
(for context, Batman is dead in this game, and you are playing as his emotionally devastated children trying to keep it together. Wailing, gnashing, crying, throwing up etc, etc.)
And my therapist, who has sat with me through EMDR sessions and a multitude of other shit designed to rewire your brain, just shrugs and says, "Sometimes we need to externalize our emotions through safe media. For you, right now, that safety is Batman having a relationship with the Muppets."
And like... okay, yeah. I'll take the win on that one.
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healmydesires · 1 year
Text
nasty (j.m)
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pairing: joel miller x fem!reader
summary: On a hot summer morning, you wake up with Joel’s mouth between your thighs.
genre: smut with a bit of fluff. kinda pure filth… sorry (18+ mdni)
word count: 4,2k
tags/warnings: established relationship, age gap (reader is in her late 20’s, joel is in his early 50’s although it isn’t really mentioned), soft!joel, soft!dom joel, sub!reader, dom/sub dynamic, somnophilia (consented, but it isn’t mentioned), lots of pet names, reader is described as shorter than joel, unprotected sex, piv sex, vaginal fingering, oral (f!receiving), joel has high key an oral fixation, pleasure!dom joel, doggy, hairpulling, multiple orgasms, overstimulation, size kink, daddy kink, praise kink, creampie, heavy on the breeding kink, joel has a big dick.
a/n: the title is inspired by ariana grande’s song nasty. also in my brain this is in the same universe as “forever in your eyes”. this is truly… a huge fantasy of mine so, this is another super self indulgent piece. I hope you enjoy! <3
pls joel miller… one chance 🥺 [begs]
ao3
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The sun is bright and warm on a summer morning, light slipping through the partially open blinds, warming up the bedroom. Your body slowly wakes up from its slumber, a moan falling from your lips as you register the feel of a wet tongue lapping at your slit.
Your cheeks heat up as you realise the position you’re in. You’re on your tummy, your hips are slightly tilted upwards as Joel’s tongue licks your pussy from behind like a man starved. You whimper loudly as your pussy clenches around nothing as you feel him circle the tip of his tongue around your tight wet hole. You still feel a bit sore from last night’s activities. As Joel was making you cum on his tongue for hours before he even made love to you.
“Ah, Joel!” You mewl pathetically.
“Good morning baby girl.” He groans against your heat.
You grip the bed sheets between your fingers as you slowly rut your hips against his mouth. Your core is beyond soaked, dripping underneath you onto his mouth and sheets. You were truly desperate and full of want, you needed some more relief.
“You’re dripping for me kitten,” Joel grunts as he slowly moves his fingers to your wetness, tracing your slit slowly with admiration as you try to buck your hips against his face and fingers, begging for more. “So needy for me.”
Your eyes slide shut and you whine, as he leans down to wrap his lips around your button at the same time he pushes two of his thick fingers inside your pussy.
A broken moan spills from your lips as he moves his fingers and tongue simultaneously.
This is heaven. You could literally die happily right now.
His tongue, moving slowly against your clit, as his fingers continue to fuck inside you. The wet squelching sounds makes Joel moan into your clit, causing vibrations that make your body tremble and shake. He curls his fingers against your most sensitive spot inside you, making you grind your hips against him once again.
Your walls hug every surface and ridge of his thick fingers, the sensation making your toes curl. Joel’s mouth lavishes your pussy with his tongue while he moans every now and then against you. Your hips continue to move against his face, picking up your pace gradually. Your head reels with pleasure once his tongue presses down on your needy aching clit.
“F-fuck, J-Joel, I’m so so so close. Pleeeaaaase.” You whimper begging for more.
Joel sucks at your clit while he curls his fingers into you. He eventually sucks harder on your clit, still occasionally swirling his tongue around your little button while moving his fingers inside you faster.
You’re a mess of his name, you chant Joel’s name over and over again. Eyes are squeezing shut to the point of tears, overwhelmed as he continues to pleasure you in one of the best ways he can.
You let out a moan more akin to a scream as he scissors his fingers inside your pussy at the same time he sucks your clit into his mouth. With the second hard suck on your throbbing clit, you cum with a loud moan. You feel your vision turning white as your whole body writhes beneath him.
He laps at your release happily, licking your pussy lips slowly until you’re whining from the overstimulation.
“I’ll never get tired of how sweet you taste baby,” he groans against you. “I could eat this little pussy for days.” You feel him press soft kisses to your trembling thighs, his beard tickling your skin.
“Please Joel… I need you.” You whine desperately.
“What do you need sweetheart?” He says as he presses another kiss to your skin.
“Fuck me, please. I need you to fuck me.” You wiggle your hips impatiently.
“Anythin’ for you princess.” He chuckles as he grips your hips to flip you over but you quickly swat his hands away with a whine. “Sweetheart?”
“I wanna try something else this morning…”
Every damn day, you’ve been begging for him to fuck you from behind. And every time he would find excuses not to do so. He keeps telling you that he doesn’t want to hurt you. You know how big his cock is, you’re more than aware of that. But you simply don’t care, you want him to fuck you in the most filthy way possible. To stretch your tiny hole, filling you up so deliciously. You’ve been dreaming of him fucking you from behind for so long, you need it so much.
“Baby, we talked about this. You need to be patient.” Joel whispers as he caresses your hips in a soothing manner.
“Joel… I’ve been patient.”
“Sweetheart—”
“I need you. Just, pleaseeee. Please, I need it so bad. I need to be filled with your thick cock. Need you to fuck me from behind so bad. I just crave it so much. I want you to breed this little hole you love so much… Please your kitten needs it so ba—” your begging gets cut off by a high pitched whimper leaving your lips as Joel’s mouth dives back between your thighs.
Licking a long stripe along your slit, coaxing a loud, broken moan out of you. Joel’s hands grip your hips, keeping you in place as he laps at you furiously. You writhe against his lips, whining and pleading for more.
He encircles your clit and sucks, pulling whimpering pleas from your mouth. It’s heavenly addicting, the way Joel’s tongue slips between your folds and dips into you, working you closer and closer to your release within each passing second.
His hands move to your ass, kneading the two cheeks as he lets you grind your hips back against his face. Sweet little noises of ecstasy leave your lips as he continues to lick and suck at your pussy.
You shudder as his lips wrap around your throbbing clit again, sucking lightly. You cry out as you feel yourself get closer to your second high of the morning. You squeeze your eyes shut as you pick up your pace, unable to handle the unbearable pleasure you’re experiencing as the coil in your stomach is about to snap.
You mewl loudly as Joel plunges his tongue inside your pussy. Massaging your inner walls, driving you insane. He sucks and licks with fervour.
“Joel, please, I’m close, fuck fuck fuck,” You stutter out a loud cry.
He increases his pace, tongue thrusting inside your pulsing hole rapidly. Your body’s temperature is rising as you move your hips, fucking his tongue.
“P-please.” You moan, your voice sounding so broken.
“Come for me kitten.” He groans against your pussy before plunging back his tongue inside you, bringing his thumb to your clit applying pressure. You come with a loud whine, your vision turning white and your ears ringing as your whole body racks with such intense pleasure, you almost thought it might make you pass out.
Gasping out his name, you grasp the sheets in your hands at the intense pleasure. Your pussy keeps clenching around his tongue as he continues to pleasure you. Your hips are stuttering until the final waves of aftershock have passed. Gently, he laps at your release until the overstimulation is getting too much.
His hands caress your ass fondly as he pulls his mouth away from your throbbing heat.
“You did so well angel, you’re always so good to me. Such a good girl. I can never get enough of how good you taste.” He murmurs.
You whimper at both the oversensitivity and his words. As you’re trembling and coming down from your high he moves to press wet kisses all the way up towards your neck. Your whimpers, whines and moans don’t stop as he spoils your body with his touch and his affection.
“I love you so much sweet girl.” Joel whispers as he nuzzles his head between your neck and your shoulder.
You feel yourself melting underneath him at his words, touch and kisses, “I love you too.” Joel presses open mouthed kisses against your neck, shoulders and jaw. Leaving you a whimpering mess. You’re wiggling your hips against him, situating his hard length between your ass cheeks. Joel’s hands come to grab your hips with a loud groan.
As you continue to squirm under him, his cock slides against your pussy. The action makes both of you moan and your body trembles with anticipation, hoping he would finally enter you from behind. You feel your inner walls clenching around nothing as you move your hips against his, grinding your wetness against his massive cock, the tip nudging your clit or entrance every now and then.
It turns slick as you keep grinding yourself against him, and he has no trouble gliding his hips against you and rutting his cock against your entrance. He groans as he moves his body against yours, leaving you breathless. You feel your pussy pulse and continue to squeeze around nothing, practically begging for his cock.
His body is covering your whole body with his own. Joel nuzzles your neck as he continues to litter your skin with his kisses. You writhe against him, wishing he was just pushing his cock in you already and filling you up in the best way.
Joel reaches down and grasps himself to line up between your lips and slide. He is rubbing the tip firmly over your swollen clit and your mind is all over the place.
“F-fuck, Joel please. I can’t do this anymore, I just need you so bad. My pussy needs you. It needs to be filled with your cock and cum. Please d-daddy. Fill this little hole up, breed this pussy. Daddy please—”
At your words Joel growls, grasps your hips and tilts them more and pushes your legs further apart. He moves to circle his tip around your entrance, pulling more desperate whines from your lips. You’re squirming, wiggling your hips, trying to push back against him but he has such a strong hold on you, making it hard for you to move too much.
“Be a good girl and be patient.” He groans against your ear.
“P-please Daddy—”
A broken gasp leaves your lips as he finally slides the tip inside you. You feel his body moving behind you, sitting up against you, and you know his eyes are on your pussy. He’s watching as your walls spread to begin to wrap around him. You whimper at the new angle as you try to accommodate his girth. He can barely get more of it in your tight walls at first, eventually using more force to open you up for him. It feels like you are being torn open, split in half.
“D-d-daddy…” you stutter and mewl.
“I know baby girl, I know.” Joel moans as he gradually slides more of his thickness inside you and you tremble more underneath him. Your pulsing walls are wrapped tightly around his cock, as your pussy pulls him in more. The pressure of his massive dick deep within your walls overwhelms you while you clutch the sheets below you in tight fists.
“Ah, daddy… you’re so big.” You whimper.
“You take me so well kitten. Doing so good for daddy.” He moans as he leans down to press a soft kiss against your cheek, as he keeps pushing more of his girth in you slowly. You feel so full already and you know he’s barely halfway in.
“So full…”
“I know my sweet girl, I know. You’re doing so well, soon you’ll be filled with all of daddy’s cock.”
The whines and whimpers and moans keep spilling from your lips as Joel continues to push deeper and deeper. Your hands continue to grip the sheets between your fingers as he penetrates your tight walls.
“Please daddy… more. I can take it.” You whine as you squirm underneath him.
He groans at your desperate whines, losing his composure momentarily as he thrusts the rest of his length all the way inside your heat. The head of his cock touching your cervix once he bottoms out. A scream leaves your mouth as you’re trembling underneath him, you try to adjust to his size while your pussy keeps clenching around his cock. You push your head into the pillows as pathetic whimpers keep falling from your lips.
“Fuck, so fuckin’ tight.” Joel hisses.
You moan and squeeze around his cock at his words, leaving him panting above you. Both of his hands move to grab at your ass cheeks, kneading them slowly and gently.
“Please d-daddy. I need more.”
“Fuck, baby girl, you look so beautiful like this, taking me all the way… like the good girl you are.” He can’t control the words that leave his lips as his hips move, quickly pulling himself almost all the way out of your pussy, making you whine at the empty feeling. “Such a needy pussy.” Joel groans before he thrusts himself all the way inside your cunt again.
“Ah ah fuck, daddy… oh my god—” you hiccup as he moves his hips slowly but hard against you. You cry out as he thrusts so deep inside you that it has your body slumping against the bed. Your pussy continues to pulse and squeeze around his thick cock, as it tries to adjust to its girth still.
You moan loudly, arching your back and pressing your ass up against him, and he grabs your asscheeks, keeping the angle perfect as he starts rolling his hips deeply into you. You feel his cock throbbing inside you as you tighten around him. He’s so deep, hitting your cervix repeatedly making your eyes roll back in your head.
“F-fuck baby, you’re so hot like this.” Joel slowly picks up his pace at the sight of you throwing your head back. “You’re all mine, isn’t that right baby girl?”
“Ah, y-yes yes yes, I’m all yours. P-Pleeaaase f-fuuuck, I need m-mo—” you’re begging and you’re unable to finish your sentence as he gives you a particular hard thrust.
You almost feel your arms giving out on you because of the force of his thrusts. Joel’s hands are clawing at the sides of your hips, guiding you with him, and he leans down again to place kisses on your upper back, his kisses travel down your spine, until he leans back up and just looks at you from behind.
Your mind goes blank as all you can do is focus on the feel of him stretching you, filling you up, so overwhelmed with bliss already. He thrusts deeper inside you, earning whines and moans as you continue to cry out his name. You try to tell him, breathlessly, about how good he is making you feel.
The sound of your pleasure fuels his desire to fuck you better, urging him to do more.
Joel picks up his pace, thrusting into you quicker, harder, hitting the spot that has your body going numb.
You claw at the sheets, burying your face into the pillow to muffle your screams. The air is all stuffy around you as his hips move faster, moaning you try to push back your hips against his to take more of his big cock. Your tiny pussy is so full of him, still trying to accommodate his thickness as it pulses and tightens around him. Joel moans at the sight, kneading your ass as he tries to bury himself more inside you, his tip hitting your cervix instantly. Your eyes roll back inside your head once again as you dig your fingers more into the bed, you mewl against the sheets at the overwhelming pleasure he’s giving you.
Hair is sticking at the nape of your neck and back, and Joel leans closer to brush it away but instead he grabs and tugs slightly on it, at the same time he thrusts harder and faster. You whine loudly as the angle makes him hit your sensitive spot inside you. You’re literally going insane, it feels so overwhelming and good.
Your noises become louder and higher pitched as he continues his assault on your pussy, indicating that you’re getting closer as well as the sounds of your pussy that keep meeting his cock over and over again. The sounds mix along with your desperate cries. “Your pussy is so tight and wet around me, begging me to fill you up in other ways… begging for my cum.” He groans as he thrusts harder.
“God, daddy-daddy please. Fuck I—”
You whine as your eyes roll back inside your head.
“What do you want, kitten?” He groans while one of his hands reach around you to slip against your clit making you writhe against him as he applies pressure. The pleasure has the tension tightening in the pit of your stomach, dying for your release.
“Oh, m-my goood… please J-j-d-daddy, h-harder, faster p-p-pleaaseee.” You squeak out in between moans. The wet noises of him easing into you over and over has your cheeks burning, realising just how wet and needy you are for him.
Joel buries his face in the crook of your neck, picking up his pace again, fucking you so fast and hard that you swore you never moaned so loud in your life. Suddenly, everything was becoming too much: the pressure against your clit, his grunts, the sticky, sweaty feeling, his scent, his warmth, the drilling of his cock inside you. Just everything. You try to catch your breath but from how Joel is thrusting inside you and the rubbing against your clit it feels almost impossible to do so.
“I-it feels s-soo— F-fuck, I-I, daddyyyy—”
“Does that feel good, sweet girl?” He asks as he leans down his body closer to yours making him hit your cervix repeatedly. You whimper and tremble underneath him as you nod, he moans against your ear as he whispers close to you. “Does it feel good? That I’m fucking you like this? Just the way you wanted it.”
“Yes! I-it feels sooooo gooood, Joeeel—” you whine as he continues to hit your sensitive spots inside you. Joel’s fingers continue to press down on your little nub making you squirm. The tension continues to build up as the pleasure is becoming too overwhelming.
Joel snaps his hips into you again and again, thrusting deep, causing you to see stars from knowing just how to pleasure you. Feeling like your head is swimming once again, you whine. “I’m sooo so close, p-please…” you beg desperately. You only need one more little push, a little bit more attention to reach your peak.
You are crying out for him, your moans almost sounding like his name, and he moves his head down again and presses kisses down your neck.
“Come for me kitten…” he whispers against your ear.
“Ah—”
His hips never slow down as he massages your clit. And then the coil in your lower tummy snaps, your eyes rolling back into your head while you arch your back as your world dissolves into pure ecstasy. You can’t stop yourself from shaking as you come against him. You almost black out because of the intensity of your orgasm, trembling like crazy. You whimper as the overstimulation is getting to you.
“Daddy wants to fill you up, baby girl.” He groans as his pace is becoming erratic, with less finesse as he charges towards his own finish line. “Going to fuck a my cum into you, kitten. Get you nice and full…”
Your walls pulse and become tighter around him as he continues to hit your cervix. He groans as his movements become more sloppy. Loud mewls leave your lips as he finally spills his seed inside you, coating each inch of you with a warmth that pools deep inside you.
“Ah...” you whimper underneath him as your body continues to shake.
Joel exhales deeply as he feels himself come down from his high. He gently pulls out of your tiny spent hole, making you whimper at the loss and you feel his eyes on you, knowing that he’s watching his seed drool out of you. Your pussy continues to clench repeatedly around nothing and he feels himself harden again at the sight.
You’re still trying to catch your breath as you whine every now and then. He moves off the bed, making his way to the bathroom to get a warm, wet cloth and returns to your legs to clean you carefully. Once he’s done he comes back into bed, wrapping his arms around you instantly.
You feel his face nuzzling in the crook of your neck. You tighten the hold you have around him, holding him close, pressing a soft kiss on the top of his head.
“That was truly amazing Joel… thank you.” You whisper against his hair before you hear him chuckle, his body shaking as he laughs softly.
“Any time baby. You know I’d do anythin’ for ya.” He says before bringing his head towards yours, leaning down once again to capture your lips in a soft kiss.
“I love you.” You whisper as you pull away to look at him tenderly while your fingers trace his face, his beard fondly.
“I love you too, sweetheart. So much.” He whispers back as he leans down to kiss your lips. The kiss is like velvet against yours, and there’s no hurry when he tilts his head a millimetre to fit against you better. His lips are so soft, swollen from all the kisses you’ve shared. His mouth moves, delicate and slow. He kisses you like he has all the time in the world.
His mouth moves slowly from your lips to the rest of your face, littering your skin full with them. “You did so well for me, such a good girl for me,” he whispers as he places soft kisses against your temples. Your cheeks burn at his sweet words. He leans down to capture your lips in another kiss. Kissing each other languidly for a while before you feel him trace your thighs with his fingers. You pull away and you raise your eyebrows at him.
“What?” He chuckles, playing coy and tries not to laugh as you shake your head with mock annoyance.
“I know what you are thinking.” You squint your eyes at him suspiciously.
“And what am I thinking?” He asks playfully, staring you down as he tries to stifle a grin.
“Well, I don’t even have to say what you’re thinking, I already feel you getting hard again mister.” You say with a playful smile as you poke his chest. He quickly grabs your hand, bringing it up to his lips, kissing your knuckles softly. Butterflies erupt in your stomach at the action.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” He whispers against your hand, his eyes glinting with mischief.
“Right… of course you don’t.” You roll your eyes at him playfully.
You yelp as you feel him pinch your ass. “Don’t be a brat.” He grabs your ass in his hands, bringing you closer against him as you whimper, making him chuckle at your reaction. “You know that I’ll always want you.”
Heat rises to your cheeks at his words. “Me too.” You whisper as you bite your lips with a smile.
His eyes twinkle deviously as he squeezes your cheeks in his hands. “I could wear you out even more than I did last night.” Joel says cheekily, winking as a smirk plays on his lips.
“Joel!” You give him a playful push as your cheeks heat up at his words. Joel laughs before wrapping his arms around you, puckering his lips while making kissy noises and littering your face with kisses which makes you giggle and squirm against him. Joel’s grip tightens around you as he continues to kiss you all over your face playfully.
“I know you love it baby girl, don’t try to deny it.” He whispers before leaning his head down to kiss your neck, you squeak and continue to squirm against him.
“What if I say I don’t?” You taunt teasingly, cocking your head to the side.
“Then you’re a terrible liar.” He says looking all smug before his lips nip at your jawline.
Your giggles turn to breathy whimpers the more he kisses and licks your neck. You feel yourself lose easily in his kisses and touches, your body turning to mush instantly.
“I’ve been very nice, very good to you… Maybe you’d love to cum around me again?” He smiles as he looks down at you deviously as you gasp, giving him a playful push again.
“Joel!!” You squeal before he holds your body close to his, swallowing your noises as he kisses you deeply. Both of your laughs turn into breathy moans as you both continue to touch each other.
The morning continues like this, your fingers wandering all over each other, giving each other kisses all over as the pleasure between you two doesn’t stop. The day is filled with love and desire for one another, you will never get tired of loving that man.
He’s your heaven.
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3K notes · View notes
loveyhoneydovey · 11 days
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mechanic ex-boyfriend simon riley
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notes & warnings: the used pictures are only for aesthetic purposes, reader is not physically described in this. AGELESS BLOGS AND MINORS DNI this is an 18+ only blog. a significant age gap between simon & reader is implied but the actual number is never mentioned. if i missed anything please lmk:)
this is a completely unedited little something i wrote at 4am
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reader who never fell out of love mechanic ex-boyfriend simon
you still recommend your ex-boyfriend’s garage to your friends (especially any vulnerable women) because despite your failed relationship, you’ve never met someone as trustworthy and reliable as simon 
you and mechanic simon who met when you’d found a used car you wanted to purchase and wanted to have it independently inspected 
reader who found this older, ruggedly handsome, stoic and yet professional mechanic who seemed to know his shit. despite the terrifying skull design resting next to his shop’s name, you trusted him immediately
not only did he inspect the car for you, but he also helped bring down its price and performed any necessary repairs at a huge discount (he never told you about this, you eventually figured it out on your own)
despite the obvious crush, he was very reluctant to pursue anything with you. not only were you his client and trusted him not to make things weird, but you were also so much younger and he felt like an old dog who was beyond learning any new tricks
you should’ve taken his warning from the beginning as he had predicted the downfall of your relationship before it’d even began
reader whose car has been acting weird for the past couple of months so you begrudgingly take it to simon’s shop
you’d actually tried taking it to some new garage in town, but had a feeling you were being lied to and overcharged when the sleazy mechanic barely spent an hour on it and said it was back like new
mechanic ex-boyfriend simon who doesn’t even need 5 minutes to tell you it’s on its last leg. despite his stoic demeanor, he’s actually concerned by how you’ve been driving such a vehicle in such an unsafe state
mechanic ex-boyfriend simon who starts asking till he finds a car within your budget. one he inspects himself to make sure his baby not anymore doesn’t end up dead in a ditch somewhere because of faulty brakes
the fucker was ready to buy it himself, but knew you’d never accept his money (especially not after the harsh parting words you’d left each other with during your last fight)
mechanic ex-boyfriend simon who’ll never love anyone more than you, but still isn’t willing to repair the broken bond between you two
mechanic ex-boyfriend simon who still uses o’keeffe’s working hands cream every day cause you used to always rub it on his hands, swearing his calloused skin would soon feel like a baby’s butt (and of course you were right). he tries to mimic the way you’d gently work it into his damaged skin as the only thing he had left from you now were memories
mechanic ex-boyfriend simon who never really tries to move on from you despite his apprentice’s attempts to set him up with multiple people (what’s the point of you for something he’s already found) 
mechanic ex-boyfriend simon who went through the army and came out even more damaged after a stint in prison. he believes nothing good will come out of such a sweet thing so full of life being chained to a grumpy old man like him
mechanic ex-boyfriend simon who despite thinking all of that can’t accept the thought of you being with someone other than him
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WHEW the is the first time i've written in YEARS (and i probably won't write anything for another good 5 years fjkdsw). hope you enjoyed this as much as i did!! this au idea has been rotting my brain for the past few days and i just had to let it out. feel free to dm me, leave a comment or send an ask about this au. dividers made by @anitalenia ✨
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rklve · 8 months
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RAINY DAYS | JEON JUNGKOOK - PART TWO
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summary: your life choices left not only yours, but jeon jungkook's heart broken in peaces. now you're back in town, and just like pluto, even if it's cold and dark, he tends to orbit around you forever.
➣ genre/au: exes to lovers; angst; slow burn; fluff; smut.
➣ pairing: chef!jk x veterinarian!reader
➣ 8.9k words
warnings: e2l. oc broke koo's heart :( but she did not mean it. they both overthink too much. jk is such a pet dad (BAM IS HERE YAY). oc is a mess. mutual pining. a lot of angst (sorry!). jungkook is a simp, head over hells crazy about oc. fluff bc why not. drinking. jk has a big dick. teasing. cursing. orgasm denial. fingering. breast play (jungkook is weak for tits). clit play. squirting. multiple orgams. hand kink. choking kink. oc loves tattoos, oral (f. receiving). unprotected sex (don't!!!). spitting. lots of prasing. confused feelings.
I can feel your touch, I remember your kiss, 그 말은 아팠지 and I miss you
part one | part two | drabble one
You run to the car once he gets inside and unlocks the door. Immediately you turn on the heater and the radio at the same time. It all feels natural, like riding a bike. The start might feel rusty, but once you get your feet on the pedal, your brain will take you to memory lane. It’s like you’ve always been there. Like you’ve never left.
Jungkook just stares, and then you realize what you’ve just done. “I-I’m sorry. Just thought you’d be freezing. And… old habits.” you stumble over the words and looks straight ahead with your eyes growing bigger from embarrassment. “I’m sorry.”
“‘S’fine.” Jungkook cuts you off before you start babbling again. Won’t admit he wanted you to do that. This is one of the things he misses the most. Ordinary stuff. You, taking care of him. You, choosing one of your favorite Justin Bieber's songs on his playlist so you two can sing it all loud on the way home. Just you. Being there.
“I’m at my parents tonight, by the way.” His stomach drops. he expected it, but it still hurts. It’s a bad sign. You’re leaving again soon. Just like you did on Christmas last year. Spent 3 days with your family and went back to Australia like nothing happened. At least that’s what he heard from Taehyung, ‘cause he wasn’t here to witness it. He had travelled with his parents back then. But now he‘s here, and he can hear his heart start cracking again just by the thought of it. He’s dumb. So fucking dumb.
“That’s the reason I didn’t want to bother you.” you sigh “I wanted to surprise them but they went to my aunt’s today. Some family celebration I’m not aware of.” you continue as you look past the car window “I found out when I got there and everything was locked up. So I decided to go to Lola’s but found out she was out with Jin for the weekend too. So I just left my baggage at her door and came to the cafe to spare some time ‘till my parents get b— I’m sorry, I’m just babbling shit as usual”
“Just go on, I’m listening” he says. Usually he’s the one talking thru his elbows but knows you do that when you’re nervous too. 
“Right. So, you can drop me off at my parents and I’ll get my stuff tomorrow at Lola’s, if that’s okay.” you look back at him now “I’ll wait till they come back home.”
“Have you lost your mind back in Melbourne?” he says looking at the road with a big frown displayed “Not gonna leave you alone by your parents door. In this fucking weather. I’d never do that.” he sighs “You know me better than that, Bee.”
You freeze as you hear him calling you that. Just like he did minutes ago when you called him by his nickname. It’s bellow the belt and he knows it. Probably the reason he said it at the first place. Or not. Maybe it’s just force of habit and he doesn’t even care about that nickname anymore.
“We’ll get your baggage and head to mine. You can stay and call your parents. Wait ‘till the rain calms down and I can take you there.” he says and waits to hear a no from you. But you stay quiet. “Or you can call an uber. Whatever you want. Okay?”
“Okay.” you say, still a little bit unsure. Doesn’t want to bother him. Mess with his plans for a friday night. Your parents house is kinda far from here. You say nothing anyway, ‘cause you also think it’s the safer way out of this situation right now.
He helps you pick up your stuff at Lola’s and head to the other apartment complex two streets away. The ride back to his house is quick and calm. It’s a one-song-away route. A route that is very known by you. You’ve been there so many times, it’s tattoed in your brain. Think you could find your way back there even if you’re blindfolded. 
Finally the two of you reach to his door, and you can already hear some sniffing on the other side. A few more seconds and an aggressive scratching follows. Jungkook opens the door and gets in with your bags. 
“Hey, buddy. Dad’s home.” You see the now giant dog lick his owners hand, then he looks at you and it’s pure euphoria. He runs fast and puts his big paws in front of you. The next thing you know you’re with your ass on the floor, feeling how much he missed you as he continually licks all over your face swaying his tail from side to side.
“I know baby, I know.” you giggle “I missed you too!” 
“Bam! Behave” Jungkook says startled by the way the puppy reacted to you. Quickly leave your bags on the corner of the living room and comes to your rescue. “You can’t just hoop on people like that, man. You’re too big!”
“It’s okay, he’s just a giant baby.” you say as you get up again and start caressing his plain caramel fur. 
“You okay?” he asks looking you up and down to see if you hurt yourself.
“Jungkook, I’m fine. You know I deal with animals all the time.”
He softly nods. Yeah, of course he knows. It’s the whole reason you left him anyways. For a fucking job offer. At some big ass veterinary hospital five thousand miles away. Out of the blue. Like he meant nothing to you. And just like that, everything goes back to him and he gulps away his anger. Doesn’t want to make you uncomfortable right now. You just got here. Can’t be okay with the idea of you leaving already.
So he just calls Bam and leads him to his separated room, where his food and little house are, alongside all of his toys. “Stay here a little bit, buddy. I’ll bring you out later okay?” 
It’s like Bam understand every word he says, as he goes inside his little house and lays down “Good boy.”
Jungkook decides to put some dry clothes before he goes back to you. Takes a little while to choose one, but denies it’s because he wants to make a good impression. Ends up with a plain black t-shirt anyways.
He’s back to the living room and sees you looking around the house with curiosity. It is quite different, you think. Not in a bad way. It’s more sophisticated. The new furniture gives that vibe. All grey-ish. You like it. Matches him and his Chef persona. His kitchen is gorgeous as well. So many more pans that before. One of each size. You still don’t know the bare minimum about it. They all do the cooking and that’s all.
“You hungry?” he asks, realizing you stopped your inspection at the kitchen but never left.
“Kinda.” you say, and right away your stomach growls loud and calls you by your lie. “Okay, very hungry.”
You both laugh and Jungkook starts to pick up his utensils. One of his biggest pans. A big ass spoon. A cutting board. You lost count of how many things he puts on the table.
“Need a hand?” you say, just to be sure. You both know you’re terrible at the kitchen. But you’re at least able to cut some vegetables.
“‘S’fine. You’re probably tired from the flight. Go take a rest.” he says already on multiple duties over the kitchen. You have no idea what he’s cooking, but trust him anyway. He knows what you enjoy like the back of his hand. Knows what you love to eat, and knows you love his food more than anything else in the world. 
So you just hum, silently agreeing with him.
You sit up at the couch, and realize it’s a new one too. It’s a big one, and still has that smell like a recently unfolded present. You turn on Netflix. Wonder if you’re too comfortable at this house when you shouldn’t. Are you two going to be friends now? Did he forgive you? Or is he just being kind? 
Trying to clean your head for a little bit you pick up your favorite tv show: School of Chocolate. It’s kinda addicting. You know Jungkook claims to hate it but secretly loves it. He always used to argue when you put it in and ended up seated alongside you mesmerized with those big ass sculptures. 
“Fuckin’ waste of chocolate.” he suddenly says back in the kitchen. He is able to see the tv from there as well, but he’s concentrated on cutting some bacon anyways. “And some of them can’t even do the easiest tasks. Ends up looking like dog’s poop”
“Are you spoiling me? I didn’t watch this episode yet!” you scream looking back at him “Can’t believe you watched it before me” you giggle “I’m probably the biggest fan of the show.”
“It came out yesterday” he quickly replies “you’re such a fake fan.”
You just puff, feeling insulted by his words.
“Just admit you only watch it ‘cause you think the Chef’s hot”
“Amaury is not my type” you pan back instantly but quickly regret it. What the fuck are you thinking, flirting with him? God, you’re so stupid. He must hate you right now. Definitely will kick you out hungry and cold on the street at any minute now. But Jungkook doesn’t say anything. Maybe he didn’t hear it. If he did, he just plays dumb. Continues to prepare whatever he is cooking and leave you to watch it.
On the kitchen, Jungkook’s heart is beating thru his ears. Can’t believe he heard you. Heard you flirting. If it was a year ago, he would drop the dinner and go towards you. Kiss your smart mouth and laugh with you. Say you better not adore any Chef more than you adore him. Pull you back to the sofa. Kiss your pretty waist and take dessert before dinner is even served. 
But he can’t do that. ‘Cause you’re not his anymore. You’re not part of this reality anymore. His reality. You live in a whole new country now and he wouldn’t survive letting you in again knowing you’d leave him anytime soon. So he just shuts it down. Pretends he didn’t hear anything, ‘cause it’s better this way.
A couple of minutes later dinner is ready. He made your favorite dish. Coincidentally he had some vegetable broth ready-made in the refrigerator from Wednesday and the idea came up in his mind. He’s finishing the details and hears you entering the kitchen.
“Where do you put the plates now?” you softly say looking up at him.
“Above you, on your left.” he points out and you go for it right away. Picks up the cutlery and puts everything on the dinner table. His chest pangs, ‘cause it’s just like old times. You used to do this a lot together. Almost every weekend. Or whenever you crashed up at his. He loves to spoil you with his food. Kinda his love language, he figures now. 
He grabs the wine from the refrigerator. One of your favorites. He remembers this too. You’re not a big fan of wine but this one is so sweet you can’t refuse. You’re a sweet tooth after all.
“Mmm. Red wine. The sweet one. What are we celebrating?” you play around as you sit. Jungkook doesn’t know what to say. Won’t admit he bought it thinking about you. Thought he would drink a whole bottle and you’d disappear from his mind like magic.
You didn’t.
“This one was sitting for a while here, gotta get rid of it. Swear nobody likes this shit but you, Bee.”
You try to ignore the nickname again. Tell yourself he only said it as a joke. The wine is sweet. You like sugar. You’re like an annoying bee. Everyone gets it. You’re just like any other bee. Not his Bee.
“Right. I’ll take this one with me then” you giggle softly.
Jungkook now is back with the huge pan and puts it in the middle of the table. By the smell of it, you’re guessing what it is. Your stomach too, as it growls again even louder than before.
“Are you starving yourself?” Jungkook jokes when he hears your hungry system.
“Haven’t eaten properly since I left home.” you giggle a little embarrassed but you can’t bring yourself to care much. Every once in a while you just forget to eat. You know it’s a bad habit and you’re trying to change that. Jungkook used to be your reminder. You used to eat so well when the two of you were together. Your rough routine made you have cookies for breakfast and sandwiches for lunch. Quick things to match up with your quick schedule. But Jungkook took care of you. Sent messages thru the day reminding you to buy something. Drink water. Often sent food to your job. Sometimes he would cook himself and leave on the refrigerator so you could take it with you on the next day. You miss being taken care of. You miss being with him.
“You mean you haven’t eaten real food for more than 15 hours?” he says, now upset. “For God’s sake, Bee. You can’t do that.” 
You could get sick. Could pass out in the middle of the street. Could hurt yourself. He can’t bare the thought of you getting hurt, and it really upsets him.
You sense the change in his aura so you quickly change de subject. “Fuck off! you made risotto?”
Jungkook just hums, pouty. Still angry at your self-destruction actions. Angry he can’t do anything about it. Puts a good portion for you and for him in the plates. Beautifully arranged just like he does at the restaurant. Knows you like to take pictures so he follows your concept blindly. Guess you’d like to save in the memory lane.
And he guessed it right. You grab your phone instantly and take a couple of pics, but you won’t post it. Will keep it just for you.
“Where’s your glass?” you say after observing he only brought one glass to the table.
“I said I would take you to your parents, dummie.” he plays around, but he’s serious. He won’t drink and drive. His mom would cut his balls out. Your father too.
“Shut up, I can take an uber later. Get yourself one.”
“No, I really don’t mind.” he says stubbornly.
“If you don’t drink, I won’t drink either.” you pouty say and he wonders. Flips his piercing with his tongue for a second. Doesn’t want you to go home with an uber late at night. He will figure something about later. Maybe he can drink half of a glass and then sober up so he can drive you. Just know he can’t resist that face of yours right now, so he gives in a heartbeat.
“You’re the devil.” he chuckles and grabs a glass for himself. Pours a little bit for the two of you. “You’re lucky I like this wine with risotto.”
Then you two start eating. You make your silly little dance with your shoulders. Always do that when you enjoy the food. Jungkook thinks it’s the cutest thing in the word. Best reward he could ever get. Would cook every day and every night to see you this happy.
“This is so good.” you hum away “you’re the best of the bests. The most talented chef in the world. You’re gonna be a superstar someday.”
“Ani.. Stop it!” Jungkook shyly says, his two hands on his face hiding the bunny smile you know he’s carrying. 
“I mean it. You will be.” you take a sip of the wine and continues. You know he likes to downplay himself. “I’m talking 3 Michelin stars restaurant.”
“One sip and you’re already talking nonsense.” he giggles. Knows it’s your way of thanking him for the meal but he just can’t take complements like a normal person. Is too shy, even with you. 
“Shut up. I’m a big girl now. I could drink this bottle up and still rap to an Eminem song.” You laugh away and Jungkook just follows. Both of you know it’s bullshit. You’re a terrible drinker. Two glasses in and you would be giggling every 3 seconds. 
The two of you just stay like this. Talking nonsense. Bickering. Laughing away. Jungkook doesn’t know what time is it, but the rain is still pouring outside. A little bit less angry now, but still. The bottle is almost empty. He doesn’t know when you both stoped counting how many glasses you’ve drank. Doesn’t care anyway. Just wants to spend more time with you like this. Like there’s no real life outside that door. Like you’ve never left. Like you never will.
Eventually Jungkook takes the now empty pan and the two glasses to the sink. Hears you picking up the plates and seconds later you’re by the sink as well. He goes out to pick up the empty bottle of wine to throw it in the trash. When he comes back to the kitchen, you’re already washing the dishes; Drunk and hapilly humming the song you eventually put in between the dinner. Swaying away your perfect molded hips. Jungkook’s mind is fuzzy. Can’t think straight. But he knows damn well he can’t blame it on the wine. He would be like this even if he had no alcohol. You’re the one intoxicating him.
“What are you doing?” he murmurs softly behind you, just above your ear. You can feel his hot breathing and it makes your skin instantly hot too. The damn butterflies you feel every time he’s near are awake again. They’re anxious. Excited. 
You turn half of your face to him and say “I’m helping you, silly. I know you hate this part.” 
Jungkook gets a little bit closer. Doesn’t touch you, but he can smell your perfume more clearly now. Takes another step and he is able to smell your shampoo too. Strawberries. He loves it so much. Always have.
He can’t hold you, otherwise he won’t be able to let go. So he puts his hands around you, grabbing the corner of the sink. “You don’t have to, baby” he husks “I’ll take care of it tomorrow.”
You’ve got goosebumps, but you pretend. Pretend hearing him call you that didn’t almost give you a heart attack. Pretend you did not listen to his complains too, and keep washing everything. You’re almost finished. Then you can sit down. Maybe talk. Tell him everything you couldn’t a year ago. Tell him everything you need to tell him now.
But then, you feel his nose on your hair. Caressing throught it. It’s an old habit of his. You know he likes your shampoo, and you’ve never changed it. 
“You smell so good, Bee.” your mind is going wild. Don’t know what you should do. You can’t fake it anymore. Blame it on the wine, but the last thing you want to do is to have a conversation right now.
You finish the dishes. Clean your hands and tries to think straight. Gives up.
“Jungkook…” you softly say.
And just like that, he comes a little bit closer. His buffed chest on your back now. “Mmm?”
He can’t hold it back. He misses you like a fucking junkie and you are the drug on display. Right at his face. 
Meanwhile, you lean into his body. Your eyes are closed like you’re trying to get out of your foggy mind. Trying to do the right thing. He thinks this is the right thing. Does not care about breaking his heart tomorrow. He can deal with it later. His heart needs you now. He can just pretend for a little and everything will be fine.
So he closes the little gap that still exited between the two of you. Grabs you by the waist and looks down at your face. Waits for you response. You open your eyes instantly, and all he sees is red. Lust. Passion. Need. He knows those eyes. And he knows that’s what you’re feeling, ‘cause he feels it too.
But he’s still careful. His hands roam all over your body when he kisses your cheek softly. Feels his lips tingling with the sensation. Takes it to your neck. Knows exactly where your sweet spot is, and that’s what he aims. Takes a little while there now. Sucks a little bit. Your skin feeling hot under his lips. He drags his tongue slowly over the same spot. Hears you hissing and feels proud. Feels his cock throbbing too, happy with the sounds you make.
Jungkook softy turns your head and your lips are almost touching. You’re so close you can feel his breath like it’s your own. Your lips are begging you to go forward, but you’re scared to screw things up. So you bite your lip back.
“Fuck it.” he says and takes the first step. Holds your face with his palm and crash your lips together. It’s like you’re both starving for years as you sigh relived when your tongues meet. The kiss is passionate. Your lips molding each other, dancing together like they’ve never stopped. Like they’ve always done. Like you’re made for each other. You can’t get enough of him. He can’t get enough of you. So many feelings flowing thru a simple kiss. So you just go on and on and on. Deepens it, if it’s possible. Arms wrap around his neck, your fingers lost on his soft locks. Want him to know how much you care about him. How sorry you are. How much you miss him.
And he gives back. Kisses you like it’s his final act on earth. Kisses you like a starved man. Kisses you like you’re everything to him until he feels his lungs failing him, so he backs up a little to catch a breath.
“I think—“ you start saying, but suddenly you stop. His tattooed hand grabs your throat. Doesn’t strangle you, just puts it there. Caresses it. Let you know that he has made up his mind. That he knows all your weaknesses — that being one of them. He knows how to make you feel good and he’s silently now begging you to give in too.
“Don’t.” he husks and now squeezes your neck. Just enough to make that little spot in your brain tell you’re pleasured by the action. You gasp and let out a broken moan as he continues, now adding little love bites on your shoulder. His bulge growing behind you. So you finally do what you’ve been craving for the whole night.
Jungkook feels you start to rub your ass on his crotch slowly, but firmly. “Shit, baby.” He moans. Feels so fucking horny. Can’t remember the last time he was this hard. Thinks he will nut his pants like a fucking virgin if you keep this up. But he doesn’t care. Wants more. Wants you. So he starts to roll his hips too, meeting you halfway.
“Jungkook” you say with that pretty tone of yours. He knows you. Knows what you want, but he needs to hear it.
“What is it, baby?” he whispers against your ear now. The hand that was in your throat now travels south. It teases you. Goes around your breast. Acts like he will, but does not touch it. He wants you needing. Wants you begging.
“Please.” you say unquiet.
“Use your big girl words, Bee.” he plays around. Sucks your ear lobe. “Say it.”
“Want you to touch me.” you finally say.
“Good girl.” he husks, then turns you over. Grabs you by your waist and sits you on the counter. Puts himself between your thighs. Pulls you closer. Looks at you with his pretty big eyes. Wanting. Expecting.
“Kiss me.” you say and he wastes no time to do so. Kisses you again. Even more fervently than before. Wants you to remember. Bites your lower lip and sucks your tongue. Knows it drives you crazy. You moan into the kiss and he mirrors you. Feels pleasure seeing you this turn on. Wants to keep doing it till he’s fucking six feet under. Feels so blessed seeing you like this after all this time.
You grab his thick hair, pining it like you know he enjoys and he hisses into your mouth. His fingers dig deeper on your skin and you know it’s gonna leave marks.
“You drive me fucking insane.” he says as you pull away, looking at you with half his eyes open, lust exhales from all his pores. You give him a little smirk in return. Loves seeing him like this. All needy. All yours.
He takes back the control. Now he’s the one pulling your hair and you let out a loud moan from the pleasure. You love this. Your core is aching, pussy clenching around nothing trying to get some relief, so you know your body loves it too;
His mouth quickly follows your now exposed throat and kisses it. Sucks. Bites. Leaves tiny nips all over. Does whatever he wants with it, ‘cause he knows it gets you soaked up. Just thinking about it makes him needier so he starts to unbutton your pants, looking back at you to make sure you’re okay with this and you give him silent nods with that pretty little smile on you face.
He wants this moment to last forever, so he takes his time. Looks down on you ‘cause it feels like forever since he last saw you like this. You’re wearing a pretty lacy pink underwear. It’s like you want him dead. “Fuck you.” he says, still looking at your covered pussy with the cute underwear. You giggle a little bit. Knows he loves pink on you, says it enhances your skin color.
The hand that was on your hair starts to explore, travels across your throat and gives one final squeeze as he kisses your lips, bites it down, lick the swollen lip as the hand continues to go down. Takes a little step back and pulls up your shirt. Quickly gets back where he belongs and his lips are on you chest. Little pecks all over it. Teasing. Savoring. Jungkook claims himself a butt guy, but he swears he could happily die between those tits.
Both of his hands are on your covered breasts now. He cups them and starts to salivate with the view. Needs to suck it or he will die. So he takes off your matching bra and instantly puts his lips around your nipple. Sucks it like an obsessed man. Growls as he feels it harden against his tongue so he bites it. Wants to hear you scream from pleasure and so you do.
“Jungkook! Fuck!” you say as you arch your back, giving him more access to your tits. One of your hands grab the corner of the sink for support, the other is pinning his dark locks like your life depends on it. With his right hand Jungkook rubs the neglected breast. Slaps it and pinches the hard nipple across his thumbs. You let another loud moan and you can feel your pink underwear sticking. “Koo..”
And then he looses it. Can’t hear you all needy, calling him that. Does something to his mind and his dick. Knows it is rock hard under his pants right now. He has to do something about it, but the only thing he can think of is you. Giving you pleasure. Make sure you remember how good he is to you. Make you never want to leave again.
So with that in mind he kisses his way down. Kisses your pretty belly. Get on his knees and open your legs. Kisses your inner thighs. Looks over and you’re biting down your lips, looking like a fucking sex goddess. He’s crazy about you. Thinks he might as well fucking die if he can’t get this view for the rest of his life.
He goes a little further, aiming to the sweet spot between your legs. Put his nose on it so he can smell you. “Fuck. Missed this pussy so much.”
You whine at his words. You missed having him like this too. Heart thrums against your ribs when you sense his face closer into the warm of your cunt. He puts the underwear aside and licks your dripping folds just once. Slowly. Wants to savor you like fine wine. Groans when it hits his taste buds. “Swear this is the sweetest thing i’ve ever put my mouth on.”
You giggle, ‘cause you know he’s exaggerating. Such a Jungkook thing to do. “That’s big coming from you, Chef.” he looks back at you and smirks. “You don’t believe me” he leaves one bite on your thigh as a retaliation for not believing his words. Then gets up again. Grabs the back of your head and kisses you. It’s all messy. Wants to show you how sweet you are on his tongue. How addicting it is.
Suddenly he breaks the kiss and looks at you. Puts his fingers on your lips. “Open.”
You love his dom persona, so you obey immediately. Take his fingers like you know will get him imagining things. Licks it, slowly. Shows him what you could be doing on another part of his body. He takes this as a challenge. “You’re a tease, aren’t you?”
He won’t let you get away, tho. Finally strips you out of the underwear and takes his wet fingers down your cunt. Presses your swollen clit, rubbing his thumb over it painfully slow and suddenly you don’t feel like playing anymore. “Jungkook, don’t tease me.”
And for once he does as you ask without second thoughts. Puts his fingers inside your tight pussy and starts pumping inside you. You meow like the pretty kitty you are. “S-shit.. so good…”
He takes his pace, goes faster and his dick twists on his sweatpants with the sloppy sounds the movements take out of your pussy. His fingers are soaked up as he feels you start to milk them, chasing your high.
“P-please don’t stop. Oh my g-good!”
And then he does. Kinda feels wicked when you open your now teary eyes as he pulls out but he swears he will make it up to you. “I hate you.”
He just giggles and gets on his knees again.
“Want my dessert now.” he huskily whispers.
Before you notice, your thighs are on his shoulders and his face is on your pussy again. He’s eating you out like a literal dessert. Licks your folds with his hungry tongue and gets you moaning like crazy. “Could eat this pussy every fucking day.” he says, then puts his tongue flat on you clit. You know the drill. Have done this so many times before and just the thought of if gets you dripping even more. “Ride my face, baby.”
And so you do. Grab his hair with both of your hands and hold him on the perfect spot. He starts to move the tip of his tongue on your nub and you match his movements with your hips. Both of you get more and more turned on as you grind yourself further into his face.
“So good, baby. Shit…” you whimper and he moans into your clit when he hears your words. Puts his lips around it. Bites it. Suckes like his life depends on it. You don’t stop your hips from chasing your high, nudging at his nose and it’s the final act for you to come undone. “Jungkook, fuuuck!” you scream and pulls his hair tight when the pleasure wave washes you. You keep riding his face slowly and he gives your pussy kitty licks prolonging your high. You sigh relieved. He keeps drinking your sweet slickness till the last drop. Moans tasting your juice like it's the very first time. Takes his face back and he’s all covered in you, from his nose to his chin. It’s the hottest thing in the world.
He cleans himself with the back of his hand and suddenly picks you up bridal style, heading to his bedroom. You're taken by surprise, but you love when he manhandles you.
"What are you doing?" you ask still a little big foggy with the afterglow.
"Taking you to inaugurate my new bed" he giggles a little bit.
"Jungkook! That's disgusting!"
"I want your smell on it, what’s wrong?" he says naturally, as if it was the most normal thing in the world. You don't want to get your hopes up 'cause you still haven't talked, but he's not making it easy for you.
You look up at him and just can't hold your stupid smile back. He's so gorgeous. The most beautiful man you've ever seen. His pretty little dimples are peeking 'cause he has a little smile on his face too. You realize you love every little detail there is about Jungkook. His beautiful moles; the one on his chin, on his neck, on his cheek. The tiny scar he got from a silly fight with his brother. His bunny teeth. His big, beautiful starry brown eyes. Yeah, you're never getting over this goof. It's humanly impossible.
So you just accept your fate. Whatever this night might bring, you’ll go for it. Heartbreak or healing. There’s no going back now.
Jungkook puts you down on his bed and just stares at you by the end of it. Still fully clothed, also wears that silly smile on his face. Gosh, he’s so fucking perfect.
You just grab him by his t-shirt and pull him closer. He almost falls over you but uses his arms to hold his weight. Towers over you but keeps staring. The previous smile washed away from his face now, and you’re scared he’s already regretting everything.
It’s intense, the way he looks at you. Got you curling your toes in excitement. In fear. In anticipation.
So you just avert your eyes to his pretty pillowy pink lips. Specifically to the mole under it, and you feel like kissing it like you used to.
In the meantime he starts undressing. Takes off his t-shirt and you gasp as you realize he has some new tattoos. One on his chest and more on his shoulder. All of the old ones are colored too. More alive. It’s so pretty.
“You colored them.” you say softly, letting your fingers go across all of them.
“Needed to put some color in my life somehow.” he responds quietly. Like he wanted to say more, but choose to hold it down.
You look back at him and the atmosphere is fuzzy again. There’s no going back from this, really. Not when he’s this close to you. Not when you feel your heart thrumming so fast it might explode. Not when you’re back here again, in his arms.
So wrap your arms around his neck and pull him closer. You need to be sure. “Do you want me?”
You’re so close you can feel his broke sigh when he says, “More than anything.” And then kisses you.
Not like a hungry man now.
Worst, like a man in love.
Kisses you awfully slow, twisting his tongue perfectly with yours. Sucks the life out of you. Got you moaning when he pulls out and licks your under lip as well. He grabs the back of your head and guides you into delicious positions for the kiss. It’s dreamy. It’s fulfilling. It’s everything you missed.
Jungkook can’t take it anymore, so he pulls himself down on you. Instantly feels your excitement wetting his sweatpants and his dick throbs for more of it.
He starts to grind against your fully naked pussy and you meow into the kiss, still feeling sensitive. Feels so good tho, so you start grinding back on him. What’s left of your cum mixing with arousal, making it even more satisfying for the both of you.
“So greedy…” he husks “Can never get enough, can you?”
You just nod, biting your lips. Feeling even more turned on by his low voice talking shit right now. You need him as soon as possible. So you keep going. Your both taking a pace now. “For god’s sake, take these off”
Jungkook feels his cock aching, burning, wanting. His balls might be petrified right now. Need you or he might die. So he just obeys. Backs off and throws it all away. Goes back to you instantly.
Starts to kiss you again, ‘cause he can never get enough of that sweet taste of yours. It’s like heaven on earth. His body grows hot and electrified as he feels your pussy clenching when he puts his hard dick between your folds. Keeps teasing, just cause he can. Wants to make you suffer a little bit more.
You break the kiss and whine into his ear. “Don’t be mean.”
He giggles and bites down on your left shoulder.
“I won’t, baby.”
His body says otherwise tho, as he slowly eases into you and and stops with just the tip inside. The feeling of his dick intruding your small hole is enough to make goosebumps rise all over his body and his breath to falter “Shit.”
“Koo..”
“Patience is a virtue, y’know.” he says, trying to command his heart to function like a normal person’s organ again.
“I don’t care about virtues right now, nerd” you joke and hear him tsc.
“You’ll never learn to not be sassy when you’re under me, will you?”
He doesn’t wait for your answer, though. Fills you up abruptly and you gasp with surprise. It’s so fucking delicious that got both of you moaning in sync.
“Fuck, you’re just as tight as I remember” he says “You okay?”
“Yes,” you say desperately with a broken voice. You need him to move.
And so he does. Suddenly picks up his pace and starts to bottom you out. Fill you up. Repeat. His big dick stretching you out deliciously even better than you remember it did. Your mind did no justice to his talent at all. It’s like he was made for you. Understands your body and soul perfectly. Fits you perfectly. Makes you want more and more and more.
He grabs one of your legs and puts it over his shoulder, getting both of you in a nasty position that got him growling and you drooling.
Oh, he knows perfectly where your sweet spot is.
“Fuck, that’s it, Jungkook.” He smirks when he sees you loosing your mind. Knows it won’t take a while for you to come undone since he’s hitting your most sensitive point right now. With his other hand he puts a hand on your throat and squeezes it. Feels you milking his dick and moaning low.
“My baby likes to be strangled, huh?” he murmurs “Such a dirty girl”
You moan even louder as you feel him going faster. His endurance is crazy and you know it. Got you crawling up the walls every time.
“Tell me,” he says in between the thrusts “Tell me how good it is, Bee.”
“So fucking good, baby” you pan back, completely lost in pleasure right now. Your eyes are closed, all you see is the red starts he makes you see with every sweet thrust in your throbbing cunt.
He let down your leg and comes closer to you. Gives your neck little pecks and goes back to face you.
“Look at me.”
And so you open your eyes. He’s looking at you that same way. The loving way.
You can’t take this. Your heart can’t take this. Him, looking at you like that. Him, being the most precious human being there is. Him, being the greatest decision you’ve ever done. ‘Cause that just reminds you how you’ve ruined everything.
It’s like he feels your swipe of feelings so he slows the movements and gives you one sweet kiss before pulling out. Grabs you by the hips, putting you on top of him. You’re on charge again. It’s your decision, he’s silently saying.
With both of your thighs strangling his body and your hands around his neck you stop in front of him. Don’t do anything. Just admire him. Want to keep this moment bottled in your brain forever. His sweet, loving eyes. His pretty dimples. His chin’s mole—your favorite mole. Every detail there is about him.
Your pull him closer and slowly go for your aim. Put your lips on the pretty mole like you wanted to since you first saw him tonight. Keeps it there and sense his broke sigh. You sigh back. Your chest pangs. Your throat hurts and it’s not in a good way. Your start to feel your eyes watering and pulls back.
“Baby…” he says softly, looking at you with slightly frowned eyebrows, stroking your hips with his fingers.
You know he wants to say something. Something important. Probably something that you two should’ve said before any other thing that happened tonight. But you don’t want to ruin this moment. Not now. Not ever.
So you just shut him up with your lips. Savor him one last time before everything breaks down. Kiss him as if his taste is the oxygen you need to survive.
And he gives it to you right back. Almost as he’s fearing the same thing too. Almost like he doesn’t want to ever let go.
So you just climb up and position your needy pussy above his dick with his help. Delicately easing him into you, stretching you open deliciously till he’s bottomed you up and you can feel how good it is to wrap yourself around him.
“Shit” you moan, feeling so good after good knows how long. “You fill me up so good.”
You start moving up and down, feeling everything there is to feel, giving yourself up to him.
“Pussy was made for me.” he whispers to your lips. “Just for me.”
He moans when your walls clench around his dick, dripping arousal with his words.
“Fuck.” he husks “That’s it, baby.”
You do it again, now on purpose ‘cause you know it makes him insane. You need him like that.
“Fuck, fuck, fuck.”
Jungkook holds you in place and starts bulking his hips up, cock hitting your sweet spot over and over again.
“Mmm, too good…” you whimper when he begins a pace that has you seeing stars.
He sighs when he looks at you. His dick is socked with your arousal. Fills you up perfectly, like his body was designed to connect with yours this way. The way it goes in and out drives him mad; but when he looks up at you, closed eyes, full lips trapped between your teeth, hands squeezing those perfect tits. Got him gooshing. Got him head over heals all over again. Got him fucking screwed.
“Fucking perfect.” he moans “Look fucking perfect being dicked down by me”
He feels your walls tighten even more so he slows it down. Wants to make this last more. Wants to make you feel more. That’s not enough, can’t be enough.
So he stops his pumps and holds you down. Just like second nature, your arms wrap around his neck again and you start moving towards him, now rubbing your pussy in sweet movements that he knows will treat your swollen clit well. Knows you love this position, so he helps you out. Spits on one of his fingers and drags it down to your sweet bud. Massages it. Pinches. Makes you whimper, just ‘cause he likes the sound of it.
“Shit, shit, shit, Jungkook!” you say as your hips follow your needs, bulking against his pelvis now. It’s so delicious you think you might go crazy. His dick rubs the perfect spot inside you as your clit gets the perfect friction to set you off.
Jungkook pulls your hair to guarantee his access to your neck, leave tiny love marks all over it. Got you hissing against his shoulder.
“I got you, Bee.” he husks softly.
It’s frightening how fast your climax approaches. You feel the hot waves coming back, building up that frizzing feeling again.
Goosebumps all over your body, you back up to look at him.
You both stare at each other, hips trying to meet the perfect pace now. A sweet pace that has you two building it up together. Feeling together. Giving in together.
His hands are on your ass cheeks, guiding your deep movements, making your cunt take his dick just the way he likes, too. He feels you milking his cock with your walls and his eyelids are tattooed with stars.
“Shit, Bee.” he whimpers “Swear I could die right here and now.”
You giggle and just continue the intense pace. It’s inevitable, to not get emotional. ‘Cause you know you could have this forever. You’ve had everything you could’ve ever wanted. Yet, you let it go.
He opens his eyes again and you’re there. Looking at him with big doe eyes. Loving eyes. Teary eyes. Realizes he loves the shit out of you and cannot think about letting you go again. He will do any fucking thing. Go thru long distance. Take how many flights there is to take. Move to fuckass Australia. Whatever it takes. Just knows you two can’t be separated again.
So he makes love to you. Wants you to remember how it is to be loved. To be loved by him. Tries to show how electrified he feels right now. Needs you to feel the same way.
He guides your hips to continuously make those movements that got him curling his tip toes. One of his hands goes down to you clit again to make it even better for you. Knows it will get you cumming in a heartbeat.
“Ah, fuck!” you moan when he intensifies the rubbing on your harden button. “M’gonna cum.”
“Cum for me, baby.” he husks teasingly. That’s all he wants right now. You, coming undone because of him. The thought itself makes his own climax approach as well, mixed with you cunt stimulations and the sweet sounds you make: that’s the perfect receipt for —his— disaster.
Your body seems to obey him, as he starts to give in and the electric feeling of the orgasm tingles from you head to toe. “Koo, fuck!” you scream, eyes rolling backwards so hard you don’t think you’ll be able to see anything but starts for days.
Jungkook tries to prolong your feeling as he turns you over. Spits directly on your cunt, fucks you rough thru your climax.
“Koo, it’s too much.” you meow, eyes closed with goosebumps all over your body.
“No baby,” he whispers “Just one more, you can take it.”
So he starts the circled rubbing on your clit again. Grabs your hip firmly in a position that got you curling your tip toes.
“Be a good girl and cum for me again, pretty baby.”
Tears rolling down your cheeks, you feel everything amplified right now. It’s like you’ve been electrocuted all of the sudden. It’s like you need to cum or you will die.
Jungkook feels your dripping walls throbbing around his dick again and increases his pace, getting himself there too. “Fuck, that’s it, Bee.” he moans. Keeps rubbing your clit meanly till he feels his hand muscles hurt. “Gonna cum on this pretty pussy.”
“Koo…” you whisper and he feels your final spasms. Suddenly his dick and his hands are washed with your squirt. You fucking squirted on him. Jesus. He can’t hold himself back anymore.
“Fuck baby, fuck!” he says and increases the pace. The new wave of climax seems to be just what he needed to fuse his own orgasm. Everything that was building up now crumbles down when you spasm from your head to toe, body shaking and pussy as tight as ever, making him spill hot shots of cum all over your walls, filling you up, finally staying where it belongs.
He slows the movements now, pumping his every seed inside of you. Needs every part of him on you. His body, mind and soul are yours.
"So pretty dripping with my cum." he smirks.
You whimper with the nastiness of it all. You love it, and he knows it.
He gives you one last peck and eventually crumbles down next to you. Your heart is in a race, thrumming so hard you think it might break your bones now. You don’t know what to do. What’s next. Where this got you two.
Jungkook’s in no better place. The wave of afterglow is slowly fading and his mind is everywhere. He looks at his bedroom ceiling. Wants to say the right thing. Nothing comes to mind. So he turns sideways. Looks at you. Finds the courage he needs when he sees those pretty eyes.
“Bee.” he whispers. Comes closer to you, like he’s about to tell a secret. Keeps a little distance tho, just enough to look at your eyes. Wants to see your reaction. Wants to see the true feelings in them when he says, “Don’t leave me again.”
Your gasp is audible, eyes two sizes bigger as the tears you’ve been holding back all night now roll down your cheeks.
“Please” he says, voice cracking too as if he’s expecting the worst. Expecting you to make the wrong choice again.
“Jungkook—“ you whisper, trying to find the right words.
“Baby, I’ll do anything.” he nervously says “We can try long distance. I have enough money to travel at least once a month.” he starts babbling out.
“O-or if it’s to hard for us, I’ll try to find a restaurant in Australia. I’ll move out with you.” he says with his chest hurting, seeing you taken aback again. He can’t loose you. “Fuck, I’ll literally drop anything there is for you.”
He closes his eyes now. Turns over again. Doesn’t want to see the rejection in your eyes. Doesn’t want you to see the tears on his. He’s too weak for you. Too weak for his own good.
“But I understand i-if..” his voice trails off in hurt, his throat tightening “I understand if you don’t have feelings for me anymore.”
“Koo…” you softly say, giggling with teary eyes. You climb up on him. He keeps his eyes closed like he’s scared of the world outside his eyelids. “Look at me.”
He slowly does, and the trapped little tears fall over, his perfect nose is pinkish, and you just want to melt away.
“I’m not leaving.” you softly say, wiping out his beautiful cheeks.
“W-what?” he stumbles over his words. He can’t believe he heard you right. That can’t be.
“I’m not leaving. I came this time to stay.”
“Are you fucking with me, Bee?” he abruptly stands up and almost got you falling off the bed. He holds you tight on his lap, tho. “Be serious right now.”
You laugh out loud now. Can’t believe this is happening. Can’t believe he wants you after all this time. After everything that’s been thru.
“Jeon Jungkook. I swear on Bam’s life” you say with a bright smile on your face.
“Hey! Don’t swear on Bam’s life!”
Like he was waiting for the perfect time, the puppy shows up by the end of the bed, swiping happily his tail with his big eyes looking at both of you.
“Nobody called you here, man.” Jungkook jokily says. Wants to have his private time with you now, and knows Bam will be all over both of you if he stays. “Go back to your room, big boy.”
The puppy stubbornly stays. Looks at you, like he wants the words to come from you now.
“Go, Bamie. We’ll play with you later.”
And so he does, like that’s all he needed to hear to obey.
“Fucking joke.” Jungkook cuffs “Even the dog is head over hells for you.”
"So..." you say with a stupid grin all over your face you might as well apply for a role as the joker. "You're head over hells for me, hm?"
"So..." he immitates you. Knows it tickles the shit out of you. Bickering with you is his love language, too. "You're not going back to Australia?"
"Uh-hum." you giggle, playing with his dark locks.
"What happened? Kangaroo kicked your head over there?"
"Missed my Koogaroo" you pan right back.
"Oh, shut up." He lets out one laud laugh and turns you over in bed, tickles all over your body until your crying.
You both just stare at each other, big smiles spread out in your faces. Happinees flowing thru and between you. That's it. That's where you belong.
"I really missed this." you say softly.
Jungkook towers over you again. Kisses your lips softly. "Missed," your nose. "You," your forehead. "So much." all of your face.
"I love you, Koo." you say softly, staring at him. Staring at his soul. Hoping he believes you. Believes you never stoped loving him, not now, not ever.
"I love you too, Bee."
AND THAT WAS IT! what do you guys think? I struggled so much on the smut parts wtffff why is it so hard hahaha
I was thinking about doing some drabbles of the story since I loved the couple sm! they're so sweet, right? also thought about developing her friendship with tae, maybe after jk/oc are back together, his reaction and apologies ??? or maybe the background of oc/jk's f2l, the day she left aahhh there's so much i could do!
again, i'm sorry if there are any typos! please leave comments if you like the story, i'll accept requests too <3 promise i'll come back soon
taglist: @kooliv @serendipity713 @5seos @pointofviewyugyeom @glitterybreadtimemachine @olimpiiaa @kooklovee @coffeewkth @valwnn @tae-hibiscus @skzthinker @lazyyhooman @sharkipoonis @kiylasstuff @kissyfacekoo @spicxbnny @cookysstuff
tysm for supporting my ff, i hope you enjoy :) xx
2K notes · View notes
pillowspace · 10 months
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Celestial Sundown AU Eclipse
I designed the fella that's been rattling around my brain for the past week. I am gently holding him out to you, please treat him with love and care
He is made up of the sun and moon gods Sunna and Meno, not Day and Night. Yeah, my AU gets TWO sets of Daycare Attendants, look at me go
--- readmore ---
Sun and Moon are the gods of day and night, but they're only called Sun and Moon in certain cultures, one of those being your own. Technically, though it holds great importance to their roles, they are not, in title, the actual gods of the sun and the moon. Eclipse is a fusion between the sun god and the moon god, Sunna and Meno.
Meno was mistakenly created very weak, and was sure to pass away in many, many years. When they created the sun god, Sunna was made to be twice as strong, so that when Meno inevitably ceased to be, Sunna would still be able to use the day to push the night away and continue the sun and moon's cycle after its counterpart was gone. This was agreed upon, and understood.
They ended up loving each other very deeply over the years, though. And so when the moon's life finally came to an end, the sun refused and used all of the doubled power it was created with to fuse the moon's life to its own. Sunna turned the two of them into a horrible, painful abomination of all eyes just to keep his loved one alive. The other gods attempted to destroy this form multiple times, but Sunna would always piece their form back together again until they stopped trying. Eclipse was instead locked away until he woke back up, hence the broken chains.
Their dynamic has since then grown strained within their shared body, Meno insistent that they just rest already and to stop messing with the natural order of things. We prepared for this, you knew this would happen. Why would you do this to us now? And Sunna adamant that Meno is GOING to survive, no matter what. They often argue, frustrated in their poorly-made existence, but they still love each other more than anything, and will frequently remind each other that they do and always will.
Sunna is often more in control of the body than Meno is, but Meno still unconsciously affects the body's behaviours and mannerisms. Eclipse can still be referred to as one person, because Sunna and Meno can slip into the background and merge their personalities into one. Sunna's extreme will to survive combined with Meno's lack of mortal fear can make Eclipse... a tad feral, if you will.
Sun and Moon (also known as Day and Night) were created because of this, and were somewhat based off of Sunna and Meno in creation. The day and night cycle came to a halt without the sun and moon gods, and so Day and Night were created to put things back in working order.
You meet Eclipse while searching the Celestial Realm for Sun, temporarily mistaking Eclipse for him instead.
Guy who makes you think of Golden Antlers by Glass Animals and Evelyn Evelyn.
1K notes · View notes
yoonlattesworld · 1 year
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The dealer : MYG
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Synposis : you've heard about every nasty rumor surrounding him. It's like they follow him every where he goes. But something in your heart told you that after all, rumors were just rumors. You knew you were playing with fire. You knew that you shouldn't be anywhere near him. But after an incident involving your best friend happened, you found yourself getting closer to him. You tried to stop the flutter in your heart which increased every time he looked at you, every time he touched you. But of course the heart never listens to the brain. After all logic is irrelevant to feelings.
The only question is whether you'll end up with a broken heart, or with a love which will make you feel alive again.
Genre/warnings: drug dealer yoongi, grumpy x sunshine, tsundere yoongi, romance, fluff, smut, angst, usage of drugs, blood, fights, gun, mentions of depression, drug overdose, child abuse, one pov switch ,fingering, love making,almost getting harassed , lose of virginity , oral (f receiving)
Pairing : drug dealer yoongi x good girl reader
Main master list
Yoongi master list
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Author's pov
"did you hear?" you looked up from your laptop to see your best friend leena looking at you with wide eyes which told you she has heard a new gossip.
Smiling slightly you closed the laptop before folding your arms and looked at her "hear what?" "about him!" she exclaimed as if she expected you to know who that 'him' is. Your eyebrows furrowed as you tried to remember if she was seeing anyone new "him who-" oh.
Her smile told you she knew exactly what you were thinking about as you avoided her eyes and opened your laptop again "what about him?" you tried to hide the interest in your voice as you waited for her answer patiently.
Of course you know who he is. Not personally but you've heard enough to know what kind of person he is. One didn't need to know someone personally when there were countless rumors surrounding that person. Specially when there more bad than good.
You've only seen him once or twice by the back gate of your university where people buy drugs and god knows what from him. He didn't look innocent either but you've always told yourself not to judge someone by their appearance. Still, him with his black leather jacket and black jeans and boots with multiple tattoos and piercings, he looked very intimidating. Enough for a sane person to walk away the moment they make eye contact with him.
According to some people half of those rumors were a lie. But he never made a move to improve his reputation. Leena had once told you that he was seen carrying a gun around. And that was enough to increase that chilling fear inside you when you once accidentally made eye contact with him.
"y/n?" "earth to y/n?" you blinked twice as leena snapped her fingers in front of your face and shook your head as if to rid yourself of any thoughts about him. "what were you saying? " you smiled sheepishly as she raised an eyebrow "where did you get lost? Perhaps somewhere which included a certain-" "leena. Stop" she pursued her lips at your glare and raised her hands in surrender "okay okay now what were we talking about? Yes-" she clapped her hand once and the eagerness in her eyes returned.
"last week some people saw him beating a person" your eyes widened "what?" she nodded with equally wide eyes "he spent two nights in prison before his partner bailed him out" you shook your head sighing softly but your eyes narrowed soon after "his partner? How do you know the person who bailed him out was his partner? " "well" she smiled which looked suspiciously guilty "actually my brother heard about it from his friends" you looked away from her and continued typing as she sighed "babe" you ignored her as she whined "look I'm sorry babes. I know you don't like getting involved with people like him but I promise sang-u isn't the one who purchases anything from him-" you looked at her "oh my god stop looking at me like that! What I meant is that his friends buy from him but he says he just stands beside them. He has never done any drugs y/n you know he isn't like that"
You sighed nodding and she leaned forward and held your hand "are you mad? " looking at her, a soft smile broke on your face when you saw her pout and shook your head "I'm not. Just tell sang-u not to get involved with him okay? I know he's not like that but still. It doesn't hurt to be safe" she nodded and smiled back at you "of course babe. I'd already told him to stop hanging out with those kids but you know this is the first time he's had friends. Besides I've met them and they seem like a decent bunch" you nodded with a smile before silence set over and you both continued your work in silence.
Kim leena and Kim sang u are only 3 months apart. Leena was only three months old when her mom was pregnant with sang u but even with their small age difference, leena was still both a mother, and a big sister to sang u. She's always been protective of him, especially after both their parents died in a car accident. They were only 15 when they came to know that their parents are no longer in this world.
Both of them were taken in by their grandparents but leena knew that it wasn't enough. So at the age of 15 she gave up her own joy to raise her brother and make sure that he never feels unloved. Sang u didn't take their parent's death well. Nor did leena but she managed to hide it well for his sake. On the other hand he slowly started to get depressed . He stopped going out and stayed holed up in his room after coming home from school. Because of his quiet and timid nature he was bullied in high school. Something which damaged his self esteem a lot. Leena transferred both herself and her brother to a different school and that helped. Somewhat.
Since the last year sang u has gotten a lot better. He regularly attends classes and has started to catch up on his studies too. You were very glad to finally see the siblings happy. You've known them since you were 17 so you've been friends since the last 3 years. You know leena has gotten a lot gentler with sang u. She was the most happy when she found out that sang u has been making friends and is socialising properly. So although she was less than amused to see that some of his friends in the group smokes, she didn't want to be hard on him and tell him to leave the group when he had finally made friends after years.
A few days after that conversation with leena, you saw him again, for the third time. He was leaned against the wall, smoking a cigarette while looking up at the clear sky. He was wearing the same all black clothes but today without a jacket which revealed his pale, veiny arms which were filled with black ink. Something about the black ink on his pale skin looked so beautiful to you. Even at the distance you could see his muscular arms and the way his pointer finger and thumb held the cigarette. Isn't he cold?
Oh god what in the world were you doing? You looked away immediately when he looked in your direction and you assumed he felt you staring. You were going to walk away but your steps halted when you saw someone familiar. Sang u? Your lips parted and you hid behind the wall before peeking out. Sure enough it was sang u along with another guy. You hugged yourself as a chilly wind swiped around you but you stayed put to see the guy taking a packet from him. He took the small bundle of cash and said something before walking away.
On your walk home you only felt the chilly fear again as you remembered sang u taking the packet from his friend. What was in that packet? Were they drugs? Did sang U?-
No
Of course he wouldn't do anything like that. You've known him since 3 years and you know sang u is a good person. But still, as you pulled the covers over your body, you looked at leena sleeping soundly on her bed and sighed. You couldn't shake off the feeling which told you that something was wrong. Maybe you should tell her about what you saw tomorrow morning. Yes you'll do that.
Closing your eyes you buried yourself in the ocean of pillows and blankets but sleep didn't come that easily.
The next morning you woke up, the first thing you wanted to do was talk to leena but your eyebrows furrowed when instead of her curled up, you found her bed empty. Rubbing your eyes you stifled a yawn and walked out of the room expecting leena to be in the kitchen for water but yet again, your surprise only increased when you found both the living room and kitchen empty. You didn't hear the water running so she's not in the bathroom either.
"where did she go so early?" you mumbled to yourself and started making your breakfast. You figured she finally started keeping up with her new year's resolution and has decided to go for a run in early morning. While the bread was toasting you went to brush your teeth and fresh up a bit before preparing your sandwich.
But as you sat on the chair, your eyes travelled to the clock '7:59 am' you frowned sipping your coffee. It's been almost an hour since you woke up and she's still not home. Even if she did went for a run, she should have been back by now. A small fickle of worry started growing inside you as you picked up your phone and dailed her number.
"the number you have called is currently switched off-"
Sighing you cut the call and took a bite of the sandwich. She never switches her phone off unless she's in a class and you know she doesn't have any class today. So why is it off right now? Did something happen?
Standing up you called her again, only to hear the same voice. You spent the next 20 minutes tidying up the house and calling her but your concern only increased when she didn't pick up.
As you were about to clean the windows, your movements halted when you heard the door opening. "is she back? " you mumbled rushing towards the living room and your eyes widened when you found her sitting on the floor, leaned against the front door with tears streaming down her face. "leena? " you gasped rushing towards her and kneeled in front of her "what happened? " you frowned cupping her face to make her look at you and once she did, your heart broke.
"y-y/n" she sobbed hugging you tightly. The last time you saw her cry like this, was at her parent's death anniversary and it broke your heart to see the usually chirpy girl breaking down like this "what's wrong?" you whispered rubbing her back, your arms around her tightening when she buried her face in your shoulder, her sobs getting louder "leena calm down, honey and tell me what happened " you pulled back slightly and wiped her tears "what happened? Where did you go so early? " you asked gently, trying to stay as calm as possible even though your heart was ready to rip out of your chest "s-sang u" she choked up and your eyes widened for a second before you helped her stand up and guided her towards the couch.
After making her drink some water, you sat besides her and asked her again. Fortunately she had calmed down enough speak properly "y-you were right" she sniffled gripping your hand tighter "I should have stopped him from hanging around with those people" your heart stuttered "what do you mean? What happened leena? " you had an idea of what might have happened but you didn't want to think about it. You assured yourself that what you were thinking wouldn't be the case.
But of course your fear came true.
"he has been doing drugs y/n" she whispered, a look of horror on her face which matched your own "a-are you sure? Surely you might have misunderstood-?" you stuttered but your heart dropped when she shook her head, another loud sob leaving her lips "b-but how? " "he has been borrowing money from his friends. But at one point they stopped lending him money because he wouldn't pay them back" she clenched her jaw and burried her face in her hands "so he started to buy drugs from a different dealer. You remember that dealer I told you about?" of course you do.
"he has been buying from him since the last two months without paying and now he's demanding the money back" she whispered the last words and looked at you with teary eyes "he owns that dealer a large sum, y/n. He called me this morning and his voice sounded so panicked so I rushed to his dorm room and he asked me to give him some money. But even I don't have that much right now" she cried quietly "oh god" you whispered hugging her tightly. "h-he threatened sang u that he'll take the money back in his way if he doesn't get it in 3 days" her voice turned more panicked as she hugged you tighter "w-we know his way y/n. What if he-" you shushed her before she completed her sentence.
You both know what she was going to say. It was just a few days ago when he went inside the bars for almost beating a person to death. And you know he's more than capable of doing that again. But your eyebrows furrowed when you remembered what you saw last evening "but leena" you pulled back and told her everything you saw the day before and she smiled bitterly "I saw him giving that dealer a bundle of cash. So why.." she squeezed your hand "that cash was also burrowed" you looked at her with surprise "he took some money from our grandparents last week. But that money was just worth of the drugs he bought yesterday. He still has to pay him back for the last two months. What do I do? " she started crying again and you sighed rubbing her back.
You wanted to curse yourself for even thinking about what you were about to say. But you didn't have any other choice. You know she wouldn't dream of taking money from her grand parents. She already thinks they have done a lot for her and her brother so the idea of borrowing money from them isn't an option.
"leena" You took a deep breath as she looked at you with tearful eyes which widened soon after when you said the next words "I'll go and talk to him" "no" she said firmly "leena-" "no y/n are you crazy? He's dangerous" she hissed "he's not scared of beating people if he doesn't get his money. He'll do anything for money. I don't want you to get hurt because of me" she whispered and you stopped her by gripping her shoulders " I know leena. Trust me, I know he's dangerous. But do we have another choice? He's clearly not scared of police and you don't want your grand parents to know do you? " she shook her head and tried to speak but you didn't let her "I'll just ask him to give us some more time, leena. Surely he can do that? " although it sounded more like a question .
"but what if-" she whimpered shaking her head as fresh tears filled her eyes "don't cry leen. Everything will be fine. I'll ask him for more time and leave" you whispered smiling and hoped that smile didn't show the nervousness you were feeling. She took a deep breath and nodded hesitantly "but I'm coming with you" "no you're not" you stated standing up and she followed soon after "you're thinking of going alone to his place? I think you're forgetting what kind of person he is" she placed her hands on her hips, a determined expression on her face, causing you to sigh "what if he goes after sang u when we're both not with him? " she fell silent "I'll go there alone and you'll stay here with sang u. We shouldn't leave him alone right now leen."
It was a silent conversation that neither of you were willing to acknowledge. What if he does something bad to himself because of fear? What if he does more drugs? These were all the possibilities that you were too scared to acknowledge and it seemed like she knew exactly what you were talking about.
Her face fell and she looked away for a moment before mumbling "I'll stay with him for a few days''you nodded placing a hand on her shoulder ''that would be the best. Don't worry leena. Everything will be fine" you whispered the last words and she nodded wiping a lone tear that managed to escape "please be careful" she whispered before walking towards her room to pack her things.
In the next hour you found yourself standing In front of his front door. You could feel your hands shaking as you forced yourself to take deep breaths. After you made sure that leena was with sang u, you asked him to text you the address and so, now you're standing in front of a small single storey house which was in a relatively bad side of the city. You almost turned back and started walking back home when you noticed a few creepy looking guys staring at you. You even felt like someone was following you but odd enough the moment you stopped in front of his house, that feeling was gone.
"please be careful Noona. Yoongi is a bad guy. He won't hesitate to do anything for his money"
Yoongi
So that's his name.
You exhaled shakily before raising your hand and knocked on the door. For a few seconds, you didn't get any response and that was enough to tempt you to turn around and run back home but of course you weren't gonna do that.
Just as you were about to knock again, you heard some shuffling and a low curse before the door opened and your breath got caught in your throat when he came in your view. Sleepy but sharp eyes, ruffled hair, messy t shirt, it looks like you woke him up. Oh god he won't kill you for waking him up right? But it's 10:30 surely he won't-
"you just gonna stand there and stare at me all day?" your eyes widened. His voice was deep like the depth of the ocean with a little raspiness in it. He raised an eyebrow and his eyes travelled from you face to downwards. "oh um-" you stuttured, your cheeks flaring red as he continued looking at you with those cold and calculating eyes for a moment before mumbling "you lost, sweetheart? " again you blamed the cold weather for the flush on your cheeks.
You weren't gonna let him know that he intimidates you. Taking a deep breath you said "what makes you think I'm lost? " "well" a cold, humorless smile tugged on his lips "it's not everyday I see a girl wearing pink fuzzy socks at my door" if your face was red before then now it feels like it's on fire. You shuffled your feet now feeling really stupid for not changing into something decent before coming here but you came here immediately after dropping leena off.
So here you were wearing a yellow oversized hoodie, pajama pants and pink fuzzy socks along with some slippers. Oh you must look so stupid.
You heard him sigh and looked up to see him already looking at you with irritated eyes "pretty sure you didn't wake me up just to stare at me" you did wake him up.
You interlocked your fingers together to stop them from shaking and said "I'm here to ask you for a favor" he looked at you amused for a moment before you saw his eyes widening for a second "you're sang u's girl aren't you? Seen you around " you're not sure why but you thought his eyes hardened when he said that, although it was gone as soon as it came.
Your eyebrows furrowed "no I'm not-" you cut yourself and sighed "look i-i know he owns you money and it's his fault but don't you think 3 days is too little time to collect that much money?" now he looked less than amused but you still forced yourself to carry on "please at least give us a week I promise we'll pay you the whole amount back" you pleaded "please, yoongi" you whispered when he didn't said anything.
Something flickered in his eyes before he sighed, looking at your form shaking from cold and mumbled "come in doll" your eyes widened but before you could say anything, he was already walking inside and left the door open for you. You very much wanted to decline but he's willing to hear you out. What if this is your last chance?
Groaning quietly you timidly opened the door fully and started walking inside. Removing your slippers you slowly walked in to see a simple but clean living room. Why did you think his house would be dirty?
Your socks claded feet walked on the cold tile as you looked around for any sign of him. You were surprised when he suddenly walked out of what you presumed to be the kitchen with two cups "sit" he mumbled walking past you and sat on the arm chair, setting the cups on the coffee table. Unsure of what to do, you timidly walked towards the couch, the blush rising back on your soft cheeks when his eyes fell on your feet and he smirked which soon hid behind the cup as he took a sip of whatever was in there.
You sat on the other end of the couch to maintain as much distance as possible and looked at anywhere but him as he looked at you over the rim of his cup. The way sang u described his reputation you half expected packets of drugs to be lying around in his house.
"hope you like coffee" you jumped when he suddenly spoke and looked at him with wide eyes before looking at the cup on the table. It's rude to deny the host but right now the host was a drug dealer so "thank you but I'm good" he nodded setting his cup down and leaned back, folding his hands. Normally you find the guys manspreading gross but you hate to admit that he looked anything but gross right now with his tank top revealing his tattooed arms and chest. "so tell me doll" he rasped, "what were you saying? " clearing your throat you looked at him with shaky yet determined eyes "please give us some time to pay you back" those cold eyes were back and looking at you like a predator would look at his prey. "why should I? " a shiver ran down you spine at the coldness in his voice and you gulped down the nerves before saying "h-he made a mistake but he'll make up for it. And he did pay you back the other day... Right?" you whispered uncertainly "i-it's not like he's refusing to pay you. Just give us more time and we'll-" "you keep saying we" you blinked as he cut you off and leaned forward "why is it your business whether he lives or dies of overdose?" you flinched at his words and looked down to blink back the tears forming in your eyes "h-he is my best friend's brother and he is a good person. He just made a mistake so-" you were cut off yet again, this time by his deep chuckle which lacked humor.
"are you pretending not to know, or do you really don't know?" your eyebrows furrowed as he smirked "what do you mean? " "you're that naive huh" he scoffed "sweetheart what he did isn't a mistake. He's been stealing drugs" your eyes widened and you felt you heart drop as he continued "he's been buying from me since 10 months. At first he paid on spot but after some time he started to borrow money to pay for his shit. And then he stopped paying altogether. he's been making empty promises since the last 6 months that he'll pay back everything but then he stopped taking my calls. I stopped selling to him unless he paid back everything he owned me but guess what" he took out a box of cigarettes and a lighter "he's become a fucking addict and started stealing my fucking drugs to get shit faced" he lighted a cigarette and took a long smoke all the while you kept staring at your hands with lips parted and eyes wide "it's not just a mistake any more when he started fucking with my money and my drugs. I do fair business, doll. I don't go around killing people without any reason. He deserved a threat and he got on. And if he doesn't pay me, the next time won't just be a threat"
You didn't noticed when you started breathing heavily. All you knew was that suddenly you were suffocating. There wasn't enough air. Your nails were digging in your palms as you tried to take deep breaths but bitter memories were starting to fill in.
"it was an overdose " the doctor and a police officer looked at you with pitiful eyes " they were abusing their own daughter after getting high" "poor girl.. She's just 7" a nurse whispered and started walking towards you "w-where is mama? " you asked as the nurse crouched in front of you and held your hands gingerly "first let's treat these wounds okay? " she rubbed your cheek and you nodded holding the nurse's hand "some people don't deserve to be parents" "it's an old case. They were bought in many times before. Didn't saw them for a while so I thought they've gotten better-" their voices blocked as the nurse took you to another room. Small cries filled the room as she treated the multiple cigeratte burns on your arms-
"doll?" you were snapped out of your daze when he called you loudly and looked at him with wide, teary eyes. His eyes sharpened when he saw the shine in your eyes and they narrowed soon after when he noticed you tugging the sleeves of your hoodie down again and again.
Clenching his jaw he looked away and mumbled "are you done? Now Get out and tell him that hiding won't do him any good" he stood up and you gasped, leaning forward and gripping his hand "please" you begged "i-I'll do anything you want just give him more time" he sighed and yanked his hand away before looking at you with irritated eyes. You saw his face going blank as he stared at you. But soon you realised that he wasn't staring at your face, but your neck.
Your eyes widened and you pulled the collar of the hoodie properly over your neck to hide the burn marks but it was too late because he already saw them.
His hand clenched and unclenched before he tugged the collar of his t shirt. Suddenly feeling like he was suffocating. "get out" he gritted and you stood up, looking at him with pleading eyes "please-" "you can't do anything for that shit head" he breathed harshly "it's not your business" "it is because it involves my friend" he fell silent, the anger in his eyes growing as you stood there, looking at him with big, fearful eyes "so you're willing to get yourself killed for that friend? " he mocked walking towards you slowly, causing you to take a step back "did you forgot where you're standing?" another step "you marched in all alone in place you could possibly die for the friend who's so fucking coward that he couldn't even come with you? " he snarled and you gasped as your back hit the wall , with his arms caging you against it.
You looked down but he grabbed your chin and made you look at him. A whimper leaving your lips when you saw the fury in his eyes "do you realise what area you're in, all alone at that? " his voice lowered "those shitty people down there are capable of doing things that your pretty little head can't even imagine" he growled lowly. You knew that he's right. You saw them and the look in their eyes as you were walking towards his place. And you knew what they were capable of. "i-I'm sorry" you whispered looking down but you didn't know why you were apologizing in the first place as he breathed angrily "go home. And don't come back" all his warmth left you when he stepped back and only then did you look up to see him walking away.
It took you a second to gather your self but once you did, you all but fleed out of the door. On the way back home, oddly none of the people on the streets were looking at you. It was almost as if they looked scared. You wondered why.
But as you entered your building, you knew why. You saw a glimpse of black hair and sharp eyes as you walked in the elevator. And the pounding of your heart had nothing to do with the nerves.
The three days were up. But as you called leena with a pounding heart, wanting to know if she and sang u were okay, if he paid them a visit, you were very surprised to find out that he in fact didn't. Rather, sang u got a message that said he had 4 days to pay him back.
Sang u was more surprised than relieved. He told leena that in yoongi's world, there was always only one warning. And then the second time were the consequences of not listening to their warning. Leena wasn't talking to sang u. He had not only lied but also stole from people and you hadn't talked to him either. Leena was very thankful to you but she refused to talk to him no matter how much he pleaded. You didn't blame her. He didn't seem like the sang u you had always known.
You dreamt of those cold eyes piercing in yours. And those large, rough hands on your body. It was ridiculous to have that kind of dream of a person who was threatening your friend's life but as you woke up, you felt a small flicker of disappointment after realising that the warmth of the body against yours was nothing but a vivid dream. A dream which didn't leave your mind for the rest of the days but only awakened a strange warmth in the pit of your stomach and wetness In between your thighs.
Leena was visiting her grand parents along with sang u. She still wasn't talking to him but she decided to stay with them for a few days and then come back. She will leave sang u with them because she didn't trusted him to be left alone. So sang u was left juggling between different jobs in busan to collect money.
In a particularly cold night, you were walking home alone after a long day. It was weekend so the streets were busy with people laughing and talking. But even in between the busy streets, you heard that raspy chuckle. It was like it was imprinted in your mind after your conversation two days ago. Despite your mind telling you not to, you followed the sound and it led you to a dark alley. You assured yourself that you'd be fine. There were many people just around the corner. So you decided to peek from behind the wall. And the sight in front of you made you regret the decision immediately.
"oh my god" you gasped clenching your mouth shut with you hands. In front of you was yoongi leaned against the wall with multiple wounds on his face. His hand was pressed against his abdomen tightly and you could see blood seeping from his hand. In front of him were two men standing with wicked smiles. One was holding a bloody knife. Your eyes widened when the they noticed you standing there and you heard yoongi curse loudly when one of them started walking towards you.
Your brain was telling you to run but your legs were frozen and the man was getting closer "leave her out of this!" yoongi growled and you whimpered in pain when the man gripped your hair tightly and dragged you in the dirty alley. You gasped when he pushed you hard, causing you to stumble against the wall but instead of the hard impact, you felt a strong arm wrapping around you before you were pulled in a warm and firm chest.
Gasping softly you looked up to see yoongi glaring at the men with his jaw tight "y-yoongi" he didn't look at you but his hold around you tightened "let her go. You wanted me and you have me. You don't need her here" he gritted and you felt a sick feeling inside you when the men laughed "looks like min finally got a girl" one of them said and you dared to look at him but yoongi placed his hand on the back of your head and pulled you to his chest, as if to hide you from their eyes "she's a fine little thing isn't she? Care to share, yoongi?" you could hear his pounding heart and his chest heaved as his breathed heavily.
You gripped his jacket as he pushed you behind him, a whimper leaving your lips when your eyes caught a glimpse of the wound on his abdomen "you had your fun didn't you? Now unless you want to die here, let us go" it was a threat, a warning,and only a fool would ignore it. Their smiles dropped when yoongi pulled his jacket back revealing the silver of his gun.
It seemed like the two men were unarmed and of course they couldn't do anything with a knife when yoongi was capable of shooting them dead in a second. So taking a step back, they scoffed "until next time min" your face was buried in his back so you didn't notice when they disappeared but you flinched when yoongi turned around and cupped your back "you okay? " he mumbled and you shakily nodded even though you were anything but okay. Your whole body was shaking and tears were staining your cheeks.
It seemed like he didn't believe you but still didn't said anything as he took off his jacket and placed it on your shoulders. You welcomed the warmth with a grateful sigh but soon you realised he must be cold too. Looking up at him, your breath got caught in your chest. He was still breathing heavily and he was looking at you with eyes that held so many emotions. They looked dark with unsaid emotions. His hold around You was possessive as he took a look around the alley to make sure you were alone and safe. "a-aren't you cold too? " you whispered going to take off the jacket but he squeezed your arm "keep it on"
For a second you were caught in his eyes. Neither of you said a word and as he slowly leaned his forehead against yours but as soon as the loudness of the busy street hit your ears, it seemed like the coldness in his eyes returned. They were as cold as the day you went to his house. "I'll walk you home" he mumbled and stepped back but a gasp left your lips when his lips parted in a low groan and his hand clenched the wound "oh god'' you whispered rushing towards him and held his arm.
He froze when you took off the jacket and helped him wear it. Only when you went to place his arm around your shoulder, did he react. "what the fuck are you doing? " he growled lowly pushing you away and for a second, hurt passed by your eyes but you failed to see that he noticed it as his jaw clenched. You looked up at him with pleading eyes "you need to go to the hospital yoongi y-you're -" "no hospital " he snarled and you flinched "o-okay no hospital but let me take you home please. You're injured '' You whimperd and his eyes softened for a moment "why do you care?" he said quietly "won't you be relieved if I drop dead? Your friend will be free too" he smiled humorless. That smile always managed to send a chill down your spine. But right now it only squeezed your heart painfully "please yoongi" you begged as tears filled your eyes "you can't die"
For some reason, it warmed his cold heart to see you holding him so gently. Your words sounded so soft and caring. Full of warmth. Something that he wasn't used to. He was almost surprised when you said that. You were the first person who didn't want him to die. If it was anyone else, he was sure he would be left to die in this cold night. But as you zipped up the jacket to hide the wound and wrapped your arm around his torso, the warmth only increased. And for the first time in life, he was feeling scared.
As you gently helped him sit in the taxi, an ugly side of him told him not to get used to the feeling of warmth. That you'll end up leaving too. But as you sat besides him and told the driver to hurry with teary eyes, he wanted to get used to the feeling. He wanted to get used to you. That was the last thought in his mind before darkness consumed him.
The first thing he felt was a stinging pain in his abdomen. The last second he felt was the warmth besides him. A raspy groan left his lips as he opened his eyes , his hand going to rub his eyes-
Well at least it tried to but he frowned feeling a weight on his left hand. Sighing tiredly he turned his head only to see you sitting besides him. His eyes widened as he saw you. You were leaned against the bed frame, sound asleep and holding his hand tightly. His lips parted as he slowly took you in. You looked uncomfortable in that position. But still in the clothes you wore last night, and your hair a mess of bed head, you looked gorgeous.
So fucking gorgeous
He felt his heart beat increasing when you made a soft noise in your sleep and held his hand tighter as if it weren't tight enough already. And as he was admiring how soft you looked with strands of his falling over your face, a pounding headache interrupted him. He let out a low groan, his free hand going to rub his forehead. Fuck he really passed out last night.
Although he wouldn't admit it, all he wanted to do was lay there and keep admiring you but you looked so uncomfortable and he was really fucking thirsty. Making sure to be as gentle as possible he slowly started getting up, stifling a groan at the pain in his abdomen which was all bandaged up nicely.
Huh
Now that he was sitting, he could see a bowl full of water and a small towel besides it on the side table. What happened last night? Biting his lip he gently removed his hand from yours, his hand clenching around nothing at the sudden empty feeling. Standing up he walked over to your side and slowly picked you up despite the piercing pain shooting through his whole body. After setting you on the bed gently he found himself reaching out to push your hair out of your face. But with a tight jaw, he stopped himself and moved away from you. He needs to get out of here before he does something that he'll regret.
It had only been 15 minutes since he woke up and his morning is already ruined. How long has it been since he felt the soft and warm presence of a woman by his side? Sure he does have sex now and then but they're just that. Just sex. The means to take out his stress and frustration. He's not the type to stay and fucking cuddle afterwards. He leaves. And he never allows a woman in his room much less on his bed. So why the fuck is he letting you sleep on his bed all soft and curled up under his covers?
As he drank some cold water with a scowl, pieces of memories from last night started arriving back. He was passed out but he woke up once or twice in the middle of the night. And both the time he saw you. He almost thought it was dream. But you were here right now and sleeping in his room. In his personal space.
His eyes half opened only seeing a blurry image of your face but soon it cleared up enough to see the concern in your eyes before his own fell shut again. But he could hear your voice "you're burning up" you whispered before he heard some shuffling and after a few seconds he felt something cold pressing against his forehead.
Shit, how long has it been since someone took care of him? Did you stay up the whole night because of him? Again, he hated himself for liking the warmth creeping inside him.
"yoongi?" he jumped slightly at the sound of your voice and turned around, his face now void of emotions as you rubbed your eyes, yawning. His hand clenched and he looked away as you started walking towards him. He resisted the urge to step back when you stopped in front of him, close. Too close. Fuck he could smell the scene of jasmine on you.
"how are you feeling?" you yawned again as you pressed a hand on his forehead to check his temperature "the fever is gone" you whispered with a small smile before looking up at him with big, doe eyes and his jaw clenched when he felt his arousal increasing. You looked so innocent. So at ease like you aren't standing in front a drug dealer in his house. You had your guard down. He could see it. Why though? Shouldn't you be feeling scared right now? He still remembers the terrified look on your face when you were here for the first time.
You bite your lip. Innocently when he didn't said anything. But fuck the thoughts in his head were anything but innocent. Unknowingly his gaze travelled down to your soft, plush lips. Red and inviting. So inviting that he leaned his head down a little, as if in daze. But when your eyes widened and a soft gasp left you, it was like someone threw a cold bucket on him.
What the fuck is he doing?
Just three days ago you were begging and pleading him to give that asshole more time and he hated himself for doing it. And now he's standing in his kitchen with you, having wicked thoughts about what would happen if he just said fuck it and had a small taste of those sweet lips? To bury himself in you until all of his senses were filled with jasmine. To wrap his hand around those lush locks-
You looked startled when he suddenly pulled back and looked away with his jaw tight. And your hand reached out to him "yoongi are you okay?-" "stop" he gritted out, his frustration only increasing when you looked at him with confusion "stop what?" you said uncertainly.
Stop saying my name with the sweet, honey like voice.
Stop caring for me
Stop looking at me with those eyes
Stop here before I taint you with my darkness
Stop-
These were the things he wanted to say, but he couldn't bring himself to even though he felt like the most selfish fucking jerk.
He jerked back when you lightly touched his arm and his eyes flared with unsaid emotions before he looked away. "go home doll" his voice sounded the same it did on the first day you came here. Cold, and void of any emotions.
He turned his back to you, his jaw clenching when he caught the glimpse of hurt on your face. He shouldn't have done this. Shouldn't have let you stay here. Shouldn't have let you sleep on his bed. You almost got yourself killed last night because of him dammit.
"m-make sure to get rest" you whispered timidly and he heard some shuffling, you were collecting your things. You were leaving. And you might never come back. "goodbye yoongi" he heard your voice. He recognized the hurt in it. And it took every ounce of self control left inside him to not turn around and call you. To not hold your hand.
Just as you were about to open the door, his eyes caught something "wait" he turned around to see you looking at him with what he recognized as a glimmer of hope. His heart clenched. "it's snowing" your lips parted as you looked at the window "it's snowing" you repeated in a hushed whisper before a soft smile brightened your face "first snow of the year" you looked at him and he felt his heart pounding once again.
"stay until it stops. I'll drop you off later" he mumbled and turned around, walking towards his room, half to avoid your warm eyes happy because of the snow.
Damn snow.
For some reason he was feeling relieved.
And he knows he was going to regret stopping you.
He was really fucking right.
You looked uncomfortable in your dress so he told you to go take a shower and that he'll put some clothes for you to wear, on the bed.
The only clothes he found which would fit your small form was an old full sleeved t shirt and black pajama pants that he hadn't worn in ages. The t shirt was long enough to cover your thighs but it was really fucking cold so he digged in his closet until he found some pants which will fit you.
A long groan left his lips as he sat on the dinning table with a cup of coffee in front of him. First he let you sleep in his bedroom and now he was letting you shower in his bathroom. He could hear the shower running along with a soft hum of whatever song you were singing. He didn't knew the name but from today onwards it was his favorite song.
A small smirk tugged on his lips when he remembered how you shrieked when the cold water hit your body. He had to stand outside of the door and explain how the water turns hot because well, his shower is old and he can't be bothered to have it repaired.
Cold water hitting your body-
You were naked. And just two doors away from him. Fucking hell.
It's like he's not a old ass grown man but a fucking teenager who's getting random erections.
Drowned in his own thoughts he didn't heard the door opening and only when you called him, did he looked up "y-yoongi?" he froze.
Of course the smallest clothes he owned were still huge on you but still, you looked so fucking beautiful. Your hair were wet and the white t shirt didn't do much to hide your pebbled nipples. He looked away with his jaw tight and stood up "hope you like coffee" it was the same thing he told you 3 days ago.
You smiled lightly and nodded hesitantly sitting on the chair. While he was busy preparing your coffee, you found yourself looking around his home. Now that you think about it, this is the first time you were properly looking at his house. The first time you came here, you were so nervous you spent half the time looking at your hands. last night was full of frenzy and you were with him in his bedroom the whole time.
You were and slept in a guy's bedroom. A blush rose on your cheeks. You busied yourself with looking around to avoid any...inappropriate thoughts coming in your mind.
The living room was simple but just so him. The minimal furniture which only consisted of a couch, an arm chair and a small cabinet. Hmm now that you think about it, what can one possibly store in such a small cabinet? There was also small fire place too. Then his bedroom. It was perfectly him. Small but cozy with a queen sized bed, a closet, a side table and a bathroom.
But there were no personal touches. No photo frames hanging around, no such thing thing that looked like a hobby.
You mumbled a small thank you when he placed the cup in front of you and you wrapped your hands around it, sighing at the warmth.
He watched you for a moment as you took a sip and nodded with wide eyes. Hiding a small smirk he drank his own coffee as you continued looking around the house. You looked like a curious cat.
He raised an eyebrow when he noticed you rubbing your feet together and stood up without a word. You watched him questioningly as he walked in his room and came back a minute later. Without any words he tossed a pair of white fuzzy socks on your lap.
Avoiding your bright smile, he sat down and mumbled "it was a gift. Never wore it before" "why? It's so comfortable and soft" you happily pulled the socks on your feet before wiggling them. He scoffed smiling fondly and looked away "you like it that much? " "of course I do. I always wear them at home" you nodded as if you were speaking the obvious.
After you were done, you insisted to wash both of your cups but he pinned you with a glare so dark you didn't dare to ask again. So watching him do the dishes, you found yourself asking "do you live alone? " he nodded.
"do you have a pet? " he shook his head
"I had a cat once but after she died I couldn't bring myself to have another pet" he nodded.
"do you like coffee? " he nodded
"do you like tea? " he shook his head
"do you like macaroons? " he shook his head
"do you like tangerines? " he nodded
"do you like winter? " he shook his head
"do you like cheese? " he nodded.
You know the questions were getting ridiculous but you were bored and your phone was charging and it looked like the snow won't stop anytime soon. Besides he was answering your every question.
"do you have a girlfriend?" you both froze. Why in the world did you ask that? It just came out of your mouth!
Slowly, you saw his shoulders shaking as he laughed. Not a scoff or a chuckle but a full laugh.
"why? " he smirked turning around "you interested in my dating life, doll? " your cheeks flushed as you looked away. Goodness it's only been 3 days since you know each other properly and yet you asked him that. "n-no? " you stutured "of course not why would I? I was just speaking nonsense just forget I said that-"
Your words halted when he started walking towards you and your breath got caught in your throat when he leaned down, his hands gripping the chair as he leaned his face towards you until your lips were inches away "no I don't" he rasped and you nodded looking away, unable to form a sentence.
You expected him to move away. But when he didn't, you dared to look at him again and when you did, your heart started pounding so hard you half expected it to rip out of your chest.
He was staring at you, his eyes travelled between your own before falling down on your lips which you nibbled nervously. The look in his eyes was so dark you feared you'd drown in them if you looked any longer. But no matter how much you tried, you couldn't look away. It was as if he was pulling you in.
Neither of you noticed when you both leaned against each other but only when his lips were inches away from yours, did he spoke. His voice hoarse "tell me to stop, doll" not trusting your voice, you chose to shake your head instead. Breathing heavily he leaned his forehead against yours "tell me to stop, angel. Stop me. I'm hanging on a very loose thread which is about to snap" he groaned out the last words as you timidly wrapped your arms around his neck while his own inched towards your waist. "don't stop" you whispered, your eyes falling shut as he leaned down, but his lips didn't touch yours.
Surprised and slightly disappointed you opened your eyes only for a soft gasp to escape your lips when his lips touched you neck. He peppered small kisses on your collar bone, your neck, all the bare skin he could find.
"fuck" he rasped burying his face in your neck and inhaling deeply. The scent of jasmine was very faint but it was still there. His cock stirred with arousal when he found his scent on you. You smelled like him. Fucking hell.
His self control finally snapped when you let out a soft moan of his name, your hands tugging him closer to him "y-yoongi" you gasped and a growl left his lips as he wrapped a tattooed arm around your waist and pulled you up, his lips attacking your neck. "oh-" you whimpered as he sucked and bite your sensitive skin until he found that sweet spot which had you gushing. "there it is" he smirked against your skin as he sucked deep marks on your neck, your collar bone, all the while you could only gasp and moan helplessly.
"fucking hell" he grunted with an arm wrapping around your waist, and the other one under your knees before he picked you up swiftly. You wrapped your arms around his neck, a soft sigh leaving both of your lips when he finally pressed his lips on yours.
It was like he could breath again as he finally tasted your lips. They tasted as sweet as they looked. And it was driving him crazy. Your small gasps and moans as you let him devour you. Your fingers tugging his locks. He bite your bottom lip gently as he walked towards the couch and when your lips parted in a gasp, he took it as an opportunity to explore your mouth with his tongue. A low moan left his lips as he laid you on the couch, you legs parting to make space for him and both of you moaned simultaneously when his hard cock fit snugly against your clothes pussy. "yoongi" you signed your back arching when his hand cupped your breast, giving it a small squeeze before it traveled downwards, to the part which was still pure.
You opened your eyes confused when he suddenly stopped and your lips parted when you saw his face. He looked in pain. He looked conflicted and that made your heart drop in panic "y-yoongi? " you whispered hesitantly ''are you okay? " he looked at you for a moment before humming "yes" he pressed a soft kiss on your forehead "I'm perfect"
Was he okay? No. He kissed you with fervour, his heart squeezing painfully when the hope in your eyes returned. Fuck he shouldn't do this. He should stop before it's too late. Because he knows he won't be able to let you go. He's angry at himself for not being able to pull away. You don't deserve this. He doesn't deserve you. You're a good girl and he doesn't want you to waste your time on someone like him.
Someone like him.
A bitter taste left in his mouth at the thought as his hand inched closer to your most intimate part. A soft moan left your lips when he rubbed circles over your clothed cunt. The ache in his heart deepening as you looked at him with eyes full of trust, full of warmth, full of, he dared to say, affection.
''is this okay? " he panted as his fingers tugged your pants and his jaw clenched when you nodded. He wanted you to stop him. Because only then will be he able to stop. "dammit" he hissed as you raised your hips allowing him to pull the pants down. A deep, guttural groan left his lips when your glistening pussy came in the view of his hungry eyes. It took everything inside him to not take you right then and there.
"y-yoongi" you whispered taking his attention "what's wrong? We don't have to do this, you know that right? " he mumbled caressing your hair and you nodded gripping his t shirt "i-i want to it's just that... " "tell me doll" he murmured kissing your lips softly "I've never done this before" his eyes widened for a second before the darkness inside them returned "you're a virgin? " his voice was deep and possessive, one that made you whimper in want as you nodded with a small whisper "yes" "fuck" he cursed under his breath, his lips caressing your jaw, placing small kisses here and there as he rubbed your inner thigh "is this okay? " he mumbled lightly grazing your weeping cunt. He had to stifle a groan at the feeling of your arousal on his fingers. You were drenched. "yes" you gasped as he rubbed your cunt slowly and gently, your wetness only increasing as sucked the sweet spot on your neck.
Your mouth hanged open at the foreign feeling as he slowly pushed a long finger inside your tightness "y-yoongi" you gasped gripping his shoulders tightly as he thrusting his finger in an out of your cunt,groaning at the wetness. "you okay?" he rasped slowly pushing another finger in and you felt your eyes rolling at the back of your head as he stretched you out. The only response you could manage was a small nod as the pain started disappearing, only leaving a trail of delicious pleasure behind. "f-feels so good" you whined, your hips starting to rock against his hand as if they had a mind of their own.
A dark chuckle left his lips as he felt you clenching around his fingers and he increased his speed, his fingers curling until he found your sweet spot. "oh! -" a High pitched moan left your lips when his fingers brushed against that spot causing him to smirk "right here? " he thrusted against that same spot again and again, the hardness of his cock starting to ache but he didn't pay any mind to it. Not when you were looking so fucking beautiful. Like a goddess in his own fucked up hell.
He leaned down, his lips crushing against yours as your pussy pulsed, your juice dripping down your thigh as he continued fucking you with his fingers. ''y-yoongi i-it feels like-" you gasped shakily as your High approached rapidly and when he added a third finger, you exploded.
"cum for me sweetheart. I got you" he whispered against your ear as your back arched and your mouth hanged open as your first orgasm wrapped around you like an euphoric pleasure. He held you until you came down from your high, your body still shaking a little when he pulled back and looked at you with soft eyes as you panted, hiding your face in his chest.
"you okay? " he mumbled rubbing your cheek, a smile tugging on his lips as you opened your eyes and looked at him hazily "yes" you nodded gripping his shirt and pulled him closer. A deep blush rose on your cheek when you felt his still very hard cock pressing against your thigh and a fond look replaced the usual coldness in his eyes as he kissed your forehead.
You looked at him with an innocent smile, oblivious to the emotions raging inside him as he kept staring at you with an unreadable look on his face. You were about to say something when his phone rang and he cursed under his breath. "it's okay. It might be important" you smiled shyly watching as he nodded and stood up with a long kiss on your lips.
You pulled the blanket kept under the coffee table over your lower body and waited as he talked to someone.
"sang u paid the money in full"
Yoongi felt his heart drop. The bitter feeling inside him returned as he glanced back to see you looking at some book, completely oblivious and In your own little world.
"hyung" yoongi forced himself to look away from you and turned his attention back to the conversation "yes okay" he mumbled absentmindedly "leave him alone now. And don't sell him anything from now on" "got it" hoseok replied before hanging up.
Yoongi was left with a hollow feeling inside him. He was used to that feeling but when he was with you, that feeling seemed to disappear. He clenched his hand,walking towards the couch and you brightened up when he came back in your view "is everything okay? " you probably noticed the shift in the atmosphere.
Fuck
He nodded stifly and looked at the window "the snow stopped" your eyes widened slightly before you nodded "it stopped a while ago" you smiled tentatively "what's wrong-" "get dressed. I'll drop you home" surprise and hurt filled your eyes as you watched him pick up your pants. He handed them to you without a word and went to his room while you were left staring at the closed door.
He came out a second later with a coat and a jacket in his hands to see you still in the same position. "I'll wait for you outside" he mumbled placing the coat besides you and walked past without another word "did I do something-" you flinched when he slammed the door shut. Tears filling your eyes as you stared at the coat besides you. Sniffling softly you stood up and started walking inside the bathroom to clean up a bit.
After you were done, you opened the front door and walked out to see him standing there leaned against the wall with a cigarette in between his lips. You looked away when he looked at you, not noticing the pained expression on his face as he noticed the redness under your eyes.
He silently locked the door and walked to his car with you following him. You had worn the coat and your heart squeezed when his scent filled your senses.
The car ride was uncomfortably silent with you staring out of the window and watching the scenery change. Why did it feel like this was the last time you were seeing him? Why did it feel like you were never going to come here again? You gripped the coat tightly when he stopped in front of your apartment. You don't know how he knows your address but you weren't surprised.
You know it was time to leave but neither of you made any move. The silence was getting too much. It was staring to get suffocating and you knew you had to break it. "so-" "don't come back, doll" you were taken aback at both his words and the coldness in his voice. He looked at you with the same cold and calculated eyes as he did on the first day. And it bought fresh tears in your eyes. You looked away before he could see you crying like an idiot but it was too late. His hand clenched around the steering wheel and he looked away with a harsh breath "why? " your small whisper broke his heart. "because you don't have any reason to" you looked at him with confusion in your eyes "your friend paid the money" a humorless smile tugged on his lips when your own parted in surprise "now you don't need to worry about me killing him and I don't have any reason to see you again" you could only look at him with teary eyes as he spoke those harsh words "I got my money so-" "so you don't need me anymore? " you whispered as a few tears ran down your cheek.
It was like someone pierced his heart with a dagger when he those tears. Fuck. He hand twitched by his side as he resisted the urge to wipe your tears. He was the one who caused them in the first place. He had no right to touch you. No right To keep you in his heart.
Fortunately it wasn't hard for him to maintain his expression. So with a blank face, he mumbled "yes" his heart which had finally started beating again, broke even further as a small sob left your lips which you hide behind your hand "yes I don't need you any more"
He knew that he could never forget the look in your eyes as you looked at him with pain, anger, hurt, which matched his own eyes. His hand reached for you when you opened the door and stepped out. But he was too late because you were rushing inside the building. His eyes clenched shut when the image of your teary eyes came in his mind and he clenched his hand before slamming it against the steering wheel "fucking hell!" he roared before rubbing his face with both hands.
The pain of his heart was much stronger than the one of the knife pierced in his skin.
"y/n?" leena gasped, rushing towards you as you closed the door and leaned back against it, your face covered in tears and sobs racking your body "oh honey what happened?" she whispered taking you in her arms "leen" you sobbed burying your face in her shoulder and she held you tighter "what happened?" she rubbed your back as you both slided down the floor "h-he-" you choked up while leena cupped your face and you gripped her wrists "he what? " she looked at you worriedly. She has never seen you cry. At least like this. Your sobs sounded so pained that it made her tear up too "i-i thought we were s-something-" another sob "i-i don't know what happened" you buried your face in your hands.
She had no idea what happened between you and him. So the only thing she could do was hold you until you passed out exhausted from crying .
Leena sighed closing the door gently as to not wake you up and laid on the couch. She knew who you were talking about. You had texted her last night to tell her where you were staying. And although she was worried, you were fully capable of taking care of yourself. After all you wouldn't spend a night at his place if you didn't trust him. She knew you were feeling something for him. But she had no idea that your feeling for him were this deep. So deep for you to cry like this.
It has been a week since that day. In that week you didn't hear anything from him. Which left you to think of every possible scenario. Did you use you? That was the worst one. On that day when you woke up at dinner time with a pouding headache. After dinner you told her everything that happened, leaving one part out. You didn't want her worry for you when she already had so much on her plate. Her relation with sang u was only getting worse. When yoongi told you that sang u paid the money back, you didn't give it much thought because well, you were heart broken. But the next day leena told you that sang u asked their grandparents for money because he couldn't handle all the jobs. That only made leena more angry because she had already made it clear that it was his fault and responsibility and he was not allowed to ask them for money.
But he still did. Now leena has made it clear that she won't talk to him unless he pays back the money. So sang u is still in busan and doing lesser jobs than before to slowly pay them back. Your heart broke to see her so sad. She even said that sang u has changed. And maybe he had.
But he was the last person in your mind right now.
You had pretended to be perfectly fine the next day but you knew that leena didn't believe you. And you were glad that she didn't bought it up again. But despite pretending everything was fine, your heart was breaking a little every time your hopes that maybe he'll show up today, crushed.
For a whole week you waited for him. Surely he must have some kind of explanation? That was what you've been telling yourself. But you couldn't take it any longer.
As you were walking inside the building, you noticed leena standing by the gate and hoped that she wouldn't notice the tremble in your smile. "what are you doing here?" you asked and she smiled at you "just here to pick my babes up" a small but genuine giggle left your lips as she hooked her arm around yours. You both started walking towards the elevator but what you didn't notice was that she was glancing by her shoulder again and again.
You notice the change in her expression as you both stepped inside the elevator "is everything okay? " she looked at you startled before looking at the elevator doors closing and sighed mumbling "don't make me regret this"
You panted, running down the stairs as fast as you could, Leena's words running in your mind
"I've been noticing him behind you every time you came home since a few days. At first I thought I was wrong so I waited for you by the gate. And I was right. He was there y/n. He has been there since that day."
You hoped you weren't late as you rounded the wall and ran towards the gate. What if you were late? What if he was gone?
He wasn't
Yoongi's eyes widened when he saw you running towards him and he hoped you hadn't seen him as he sat in cat and speeded out of the area. He knew this was stupid. He shouldn't be here. But he couldn't help it. What if those two guys saw you when you were alone? You were safe as long as you were with him. But what if you ran into them when he wasn't by your side? That was the reason he had been silently walking behind you at a distance as you walked home. Yes he felt like an absolute creep but it didn't matter.
He thought there was no chance he would get caught.
How wrong he was.
He swears he almost had a fucking heart attack when he saw you running towards him.
Leena caught up with you, panting even more as she touched your arm "i-is he here?" she wheezed, her eyes widened when you sniffled shaking your head "he's gone''you whispered wiping the tear that managed to escape and looked at her with a determined face "I'm going to see him" "no you're not" she said firmly "it's getting dark y/n. There's a possibility of snowing and you told me he lives in a bad area!" "leena" you grabbed her shoulders "I need to see him. I'll take a taxi. Please" you begged "I need to see him" she sighed closing her eyes "can't you go tomorrow? " "I'm scared I won't be able to see him again if I don't go now" her eyes widened as the realisation set in "you love him" she whispered taking in your eyes. And now she knew that she wouldn't be able to stop you no matter what she did.
You had to walk a small distance because the driver refused to go in the area so you were left with a pounding heart and cold limbs. The sky was almost dark and it looked like it was about to snow soon. How stupid you are.
"yoongi!" your fist pounded against the wooden door as you called him "I know you're in there!" you shouted with a trembling form "open the door, I saw your car!" no answer.
Fresh, angry tears filled your eyes "you can't just hide in there after doing all those things!" another pound "stop being a coward and talk to me! " again no answer.
A few tears glided down your flushed cheeks as your voice got lower and lower "I know you were there yoongi" you sniffled, your voice coming out whispered as your fist slammed against the door in a weak thump "I know you didn't mean those things. So stop hiding from me please"
His heart broke with yours.
"if you don't open the door now then I'll assume that you don't want anything to do with me" you sniffled "I won't see you again" isn't that what he wanted? So why was his heart breaking so painfully?
You waited for a few more minutes, but your tears ran free when he didn't open the door "okay. I got your answer" you whispered " I won't bother you again"
His heart dropped in panic but he didn't make any move to stop you as he heard your steps disappearing.
You sniffled wiping your tears as you continued walking away from his house. Snow was starting to fall and the sky was fully dark so you doubted you'd get any taxi here. So you opted to walk a little further down the street in hopes that there will be atleast one taxi on the main door.
"isn't that yoongi's girl?" "I think she is" your heart beat increased when you heard hushed whispers and noticed two men leaned against a wall "did he dump her?" one of them chuckled and you increased your speed, clutching your phone tightly "who cares. She's a fine little thing. Maybe we can get some tonight" you forced yourself not to cry as you heard them laugh but your heart dropped when one of them suddenly blocked your way. "hey doll face" your hands trembled as you took a step back, only for him to step forward.
Yoongi. You need yoongi.
Your panic only increased when he blowed the cigeratte's smoke on your face causing you to fall in a fit of cough as you took a few steps back. But suddenly, you noticed the man's eyes widening slightly before your back bumped in a chest and a familiar arm wrapped around your waist.
You almost cried out when he spoke "do we have a problem?" his arm around you tightened when you slumped against him in relief. "y-yoongi" the man's smile was fake and his eyes showed resentment as he took a step back "no problem" he raised a hand to show he didn't mean any harm. You heard yoongi scoff before he gave the man a small nod and turned around with you in his arms "let's go home sweetheart" he mumbled kissing the side of your head.
You could hear his heart pounding and you noticed his whole body was tensed as he mumbled "don't look back, doll" you could only nod and some of the tension left his body when his house came in your view. He opened the door and pushed you in before taking a look around the street and Walking inside too. You saw him lock the door and your bottom lip trembled when he turned around and looked at you with so much anger in his eyes.
"are you out of your mind!?" he growled out each word with every step he took in front you, until he was standing inches away from you "what would have happened if I didn't came there when I did?" his jaw was tight when he gripped your arms and pulled you towards him. A soft gasp left your lips when he pulled you in his chest and his arms around your form tightened when he realised you were shaking. "it could have gotten a lot worse" he gritted as you gripped his shirt, feeling his heart pounding and his chest heaving as he breathed heavily "but it didn't" you whispered pulling back slightly and a muscle in his jaw ticked at your words. As much as he wanted to stand there and hold you in his arms, to assure himself that you were okay,He noticed that you were still shaking.
"fuck you're trembling" he pulled back, swiftly pulling the throw blanket and wrapped it around your form before going to light the fire in the fireplace. All the while, you stood there looking at him as he rushed in his room after lighting the fire and came back a second later with another, more thicker blanket. "yoongi I'm fine-" "shut your mouth" he gave you a glare so dark that you didn't dare to open your mouth as he wrapped you up in the thick blanket.
After he was sure that your trembles had subsided, only then did he allowed himself to breath. You watched him unsure as he turned his back on you and rubbed his face. Frustration clearly visible in his voice "didn't I tell you not to come here again?" you almost cowered under his stare but then remembered why you came here in the first place. Slowly, anger rose inside you "if you didn't want me to come here then why were you following me?" he flinched at the sharpness of your tone, his eyes softening when he saw the unshed tears in your eyes "that was for your safety-" "I am perfectly capable of taking care of myself yoongi-" "is that why you walked in here all alone when it was getting dark?" now it was your turn to flinch, a tear escaping your eyes which you wiped angrily "you don't get to act like this after how you treated me last week" you jabbed a finger on his chest as your bottom lip trembled "you can't pretend to care about me after using me and throwing me away-" before you could complete your sentence, his lips crashed on yours and he pushed you against the nearest wall he could find.
You could almost feel the heat of anger radiating from his body as he kissed you with fevour. It was not a sweet and gentle kiss. He kissed you like he wanted to devour you. He kissed you like a starved man. He sucked and bite your lips until they were raw and red. Only when you squeezed his shoulder, did he pull back, breathing heavily.
"used you?" he growled sucking the sweet spot in your neck harshly causing you to let out a broken moan "throw you away?" another growl, his hand holding the back of your neck as he pulled you in another rough kiss. "you have no fucking idea how much I regretted pushing you away. And don't forget this, doll. I'll rather burn myself alive before I even think about hurting you" with that, he was gone.
"yoongi-" you reached for him as he pulled away like he was burned but his words halted your actions "what if-" he looked at you with blood shot eyes and you realised that the wetness on your cheek wasn't from your tears but his own. "what if that fucker was armed? You know I never step out of this house without my gun. But you're making me do things that I've never done before" he looked pained, so pained that it hurt your heart "when I ran out of this house I thought I would never see you again. Even though that would be better, I wanted to be selfish. I've never wanted to be this selfish before but right now I want you so bad that I'm willing to break my rules for you"
He breathed heavily as he looked at you with raw emotions "you're going to be the death of me angel" he whispered "and thank fuck because I would die a happy man if you'd be the one killing me" something inside you snapped and you did something that you'd never dream of doing. Pushing the blankets off of you ran towards him and crushed your lips on his. His arms caught you effortlessly as you wrapped your arms around his neck, kissing him with every unsaid emotion. "fuck" he panted against your lips as you pushed him until you both were standing in front of the fire place and only then did you pulled back, giggling breathlessly when he chased your lips.
Cupping his face you looked at him nervously, the earlier courage slowly melting away "I want you,yoongi'' You whispered as he leaned his forehead against yours "I want all of you. Even the side that you think is ugly" he shook his head, his hands desperately pulling you closer despite his actions "I won't be able to let you go after this, angel. I don't dese-" "yes you do" you said firmly, your arousal increasing as he looked at with eyes dark with lust and something else that didn't dared to name "take me" you whispered before softly pressing your lips on his own.
A small gasp left his lips, his hands shaking as he slowly pulled the sweater off of your body, before pulling back for a second to yank his jacket off. You looked at him nervously as his fingers slowly pulled the strings of your top "is this okay? " he murmured, staring in your eyes as the strings came off, revealing your cleavage and something that you wanted to hide. You nodded nervously and only then did his eyes fell on your chest. You held his hand when his face went blank and even though you wanted to cover yourself and hide under that big blanket, you took a step back and pulled the top over your head, before letting it fall on the ground.
Yoongi's lips parted as your bra claded chest came in his view. But that wasn't what took his attention. You timidly folded your arms over your stomach as he stared at the burn marks on your forearms and shoulders. There were a few of them on your wrist and the lower part of your neck too. That was the reason you always wore clothes that covered your arms and neck.
When he didn't said anything, your self consciousness started increasing "a-are they ugly?" your timid whisper broke him out of the spell and he took a sharp breath at your words. A darkness unfurled in his eyes. Without saying anything, he yanked his t shirt off, letting it fall on the floor and turned around.
His eyes fell shut when you gasped, a small whisper leaving your lips "oh yoongi" he didn't turn around when he heard you walking towards him. Nor did he move when you lightly grazed his back where multiple cigeratte burns along with some scars were scattered. He flinched when you pressed your lips on one of the scar, his hand clenching by his side as you kissed another burn mark, then another, and another, until he could feel your warmth all the way in his heart. He slowly turned around in your arms and cupped your face, before kissing you with every ounce of passion he could gather. He wanted you to know how much he appreciates you. How much he longed for you. How much he loved-
His heart started pounding at the realisation as he gently pulled you down with him. A soft sigh leaving your lips at the warmth of both his body, and the fire besides you both as you laid on the soft carpet. Your breath hitched when his fingers wrapped around the strap of your white lace bra and when you gave a small nod, he gently pulled you up and unhooked the bra with one hand before letting it fall on the floor. your breath quickened as his eyes took in your full breast, his lips pulling you in a deep kiss while his hand massaged your breast causing a soft sigh to leave your lips.
"yoongi... " you sighed,running your hands through his hair as his kisses trailed downwards, kissing along your chest before taking on of your nipples in his mouth. Your back arched as he made sure to give the other one the same attention, and once he was satisfied, he lips traveled else where.
Tears filled your eyes when you realised he was kissing the burn marks. The one that you hated. The one that made you feel ugly. "I want all of you too" he said hoarsely as you covered your face with your hands, nodding shakily. Yoongi chose to show you he meant what he said with his actions. His fingers danced over your soft skin and he gave the softness of your belly a fond caress before his fingers inched closer to the button of your Jeans "raise your hips for me, love" he mumbled kissing over your belly button and you did as he said, allowing him to take if your pants and leaving you in a pair of white panties which were soaked "fuck" he rasped, pressing a kiss on your clothed cunt and relishing in your shaky gasp.
"relax and let me make you feel good, angel" he murmured looking at you for a moment to make sure you were alright and when you nervously reached out for him, his hand gripped yours firmly but gently. Your eyes clenched shut when he took off your panties, leaving you in your most vulnerable form in front of him. "are you okay?" he mumbled and your heart soared. You lost count of how many times he made sure you were okay. "yes" you whispered looking at him with a timid smile which he returned with a soft one of his own.
A loud gasp left your lips when he kissed your cunt before gripping your hips and pulling you in until his face was buried in between your thighs. Your eyes fell shut at the new feeling as he sucked your clit like a starved man eating his last meal. His eyes closed at the tangy taste of your arousal and a guttural groan left his lips as you gushed even more. A deep blush rose on your cheeks when he inhaled your intimate scent deeply before pushing his tongue inside your womanhood.
Your back arched and your finger desperately tugged on his hair as he sucked your clit and his free hand played with your nipple, pinching and tugging it until you were panting in want. "o-oh yoongi" your eyes rolled at the back of your head when he pushed a finger inside you and easily found your sweet spot. The sound of squelching becoming louder and louder as you got more wet by the second and you would have been embarrassed if your climax wasn't approaching so rapidly.
It seemed he knew you were about to come because he increased his speed, taking turns in sucking your clit and fucking you with his tongue "come for me y/n. Give it to me" the Way he said your name, so deeply and dark with desires, it was enough to throw you into another level of pleasure and edge you closer to your orgasm which washed over you like a truck.
Your back arched and mouth hanged opened as you came hard, with him greedily drinking every drop of love you gave him. He came up besides you as you slowly came down from your high and pushed your hair out of your face before kissing you softly. A whimper leaving your lips as you tasted yourself on his lips.
"are you okay? " he mumbled, kissing your head when you nodded with shy smile "do you want to stop here, or keep going?" you have no idea how he can be so patient and calm when his arousal which you were trying hard not to stare looked so big and well hard. Wasn't it painful?
You blushed deeply and nodded whispering "I want to be close to you" and pulled him towards yourself "you're close to me doll" he rasped kissing you softly "closer" you begged softly and the darkness in his eyes returned. He left you for a second to stand up and take off his pants, all the while keeping his eyes on you. But the second the burn marks came in his view, the dark fury returned again. Suddenly all he wanted to do was find the people who did this to you and make them regret their whole lives. But that can wait. This was all about you.
You gasped when he pulled down his boxers, your pussy clenching around nothing as a soft moan left your lips, noticing the pre cum already forming. He was big. So big that you wondered if it would even fit inside you. You watched shyly as he took out a condom from his jean's pocket and rolled it over his dick, hissing at the sensitivity. You reached for him, and he took your hand without any hesitation as you parted your legs for him.
He breathed sharply when his cock rubbed against your cunt, both of you moaning simultaneously at the feeling. "I don't want to hurt you" he sighed leaning against your head as you wrapped your arms around his neck. "kiss me doll" you nodded shyly pressing your lips on his and at the same time, he gently pushed inside you. Well as gentle as he can with the way you were squeezing him so tightly. A small cry left your lips which caused him to stop immediately as he cursed under his breath "fuck doll do you want me to stop?" he rasped wiping your tears softly and frowned when you shaked your head "don't force yourself angel" " Im not. Keep going please" you whispered softly kissing him again.
He started pushing inside you again, reminding you to breath all the while controlling himself with a tight jaw. He buried his face in your neck as you sighed softly. "you good? " he nodded not moving at all and you nodded with a small wince which he noticed immediately .He knew that distracting you would be the best option.
"do you like coffee? " you looked at him surprised before a smile brightened your face and you nodded.
"what was the name of your cat?" he mumbled nuzzling his nose against yours "cloud" "cloud? " he raised an eyebrow and you nodded giggling softly "she was as white as a cloud" he nodded "cute"
"which is your favorite weather?" "monsoon" you smiled.
"do you like snow? " "very"
"do you like hot chocolate?" "yes''
"do you like me?" "....very"
It was a shy whisper but it was enough to make both of your hearts pound.
And with that, he pulled back and slowly thrusted in deeply. It was enough to part your lips in a loud moan. His thrusts were deep and powerful, his cock huge enough to brush against every curve of your womanhood and his thrusts powerful enough for your whole body to thrust upwards everytime he thrusted in.
A deep groan left his lips, his eyes trained on your breasts which bounced with every thrust. You reached for his hand and he held it immediately, pressing your intertwined hands besides your head while the other one supported himself on top of you. Your legs wrapped around his torso and your nails scratched his back as his groans and growls along with your moans filled the room.
His pace was getting faster with each second as he pulled you in a deep kiss. ''y-yoongi feels so good-" you let out a broken moan as he hit your g spot again and again "fuck" he grunted feeling you clench around him hard. Growling lowly he increased his speed, your eyes falling shut and your back arching causing your soft breast to press against his firm and hard chest "dammit doll you keep doing that and I won't be able to hold it any longer" he groaned when you clenched around him again, his own climax approaching rapidly when he felt your walls fluttering around him signalling you were close. "yoongi I feel so close-" you cried out when he slammed inside you again and again, the sound of skin slapping increasing as he fucked you with fevour. The old deep and slow thrusts disappearing as he pounded inside you.
''come with me doll. I've got you" he gritted and your lips parted with a loud moan as your second orgasm washed over you, edging him closer to his own. "fuck-!" he gasped biting your shoulder to muffle his moans but even with that, you heard his next words loud and clear, which caused a flutter around your heart "I love you so fucking much y/n-"
Pants and heavy breathing filled the room as he fell on top of you and buried his face in your sweaty chest. After another moment of silence, he mumbled "I meant what I said angel" you smiled tiredly, wrapping your tired limbs around him "I love you too yoongi" his tense form relaxed against you and he pressed soft kiss on whatever skin he could reach before slowly pulling out of you. He frowned when you winced and with a small grunt, he stood up and picked you up in his arms, a soft smile blooming in his face as your soft giggle reached his ears.
"are you okay?" he mumbled walking towards his bedroom. You nodded snuggling In his bare chest "just a little sore" he gently laid you on the bed and walked in the bathroom to bring a wet towel. You blushed as he cleaned you up gently before rolling the condom and throwing it in the bin.
And finally, as he laid on the bed, you scooted closer until he took you in his arms, rubbing your bare back softly enough to lull you Into a sweet slumber. "can I ask you something? " he mumbled and you nodded sleepily "who did this to you doll" you stiffened in his arms, your heart squeezing at the protectiveness in his voice. After a second of silence, you whispered "my parents" it was his turn to stiffen up as anger rose high inside him "your parents?" he mumbled darkly, his arms around you tightening when you sniffled softly "t-they.. Well-" "you don't have to tell me doll. I'm sorry for asking''he said quietly but you shaked your head and kissed his jaw "it's okay. I-i need to talk about this" he waited for you patiently as you took a deep breath "t-they were drug addicts" he took a sharp breath "people told me that they were addicts since years. They stopped when I was born but after a while, they started doing them again. It got really bad. So bad that they would get mad at everything I did. As a punishment, they would burn me" you whispered the last sentence and his arms around you tightened "they didn't stop until they had an overdose and died when I was 7"
7. At that young age you had to suffer all that. Your own parents did that to you when you were so small. When you were just a child. That's why you had reacted like that when he told you that sang u might die of an OD. fuck he has been hurting you ever since you came in his life and yet you're still willing to be with him.
"what about you?'' you asked quietly snuggling in his chest and hugging him tighter. His heart soared. You were trying to comfort him. How long had it been since someone comforted him? "my uncle" he mumbled, his voice emotionless "he's an alcoholic. Was fucked up in his own ways and fucked me up too" he chucked dryly "I was 13 when he got thrown in the hospital" he held you a little tighter "he's still dying in that hospital and will die there without seeing any of his family's face'' "I'm so sorry" you whispered and He chuckled softly "you don't have anything to be sorry of, angel."
Even when he told you that, you still kissed him softly which comforted him in every way he could imagine. He knew he didn't deserve you. But fuck he wanted to be selfish. And he is going to be.
As you slept peacefully in his arms, he thought about what your life together will be like. And that night he made many decisions. Getting the hell out of this place and leaving this business was one of them. You didn't know it yet but he would do anything and everything in his power to give you anything you wanted.
~•~
A soft giggle left your lips as you felt soft lips tickling your skin and a fond smile lifted your lips when you felt his large hand cupping your barely visible tummy. "mmm are you leaving? " you whispered sleepily kissing him back, laughing as he groaned against your lips "thinking of not going today," you glared at him "this is the 3rd time you're not going to work in a week" "so? I'm the boss so I can take as many day off I want. Besides" he smirked getting under the covers and rubbing your bare stomach softly "I'd much rather spend the day with my wife and my child" you gasped giggling when his lips attacked yours.
Well guess who's taking another day off.
Yoongi left the business soon after when you both got together 6 years ago. He moved into another relatively nicer area and started doing less shady jobs like bar tending and working in restaurants until he met another ambitious man like himself. Kim namjoon and min yoongi founded a security company together which is now thriving. And 4 Years later, you both got married. Now life couldn't get better with your husband and your unborn child.
"I love you doll"
"I love you too yoongs"
@xjiminsthighsx @bri-mal @bunnyrhe @rosquilleta @raineandskye @shymagda-7 @creatorspalace @yoonaasa @iheartsvt @xmochiloverx @kyojuro-ska @meow-min @kissme-ornot @wobblewobble822 @kookieaddicted96 @thelilbutifulthings @joonsblossom @Atherosworld@jlee97
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celestialglow24 · 24 days
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•••Promise Me•••
Frank Castle x AFAB reader
You finally see Frank again after months of being apart with no explanation.
hi friends. more Frank angst because this man has taken over my mind lately and i think you all should suffer with me. please enjoy xx
The walk back home from the restaurant wasn’t too bad of a trek. You had convinced yourself it’d be alot faster than waiting around for an uber, or bothering your cousin at 12 am to come down there and pick you up.
Was it wise? Probably not. But the multiple shots of liquid courage—fueled with the desire to take a long hot shower—gave you a sense of confidence no one would have been able to shake.
So you said your goodbyes to the group you were with, telling them a little white lie that your ride was here, and began walking home.
As the loud street music and bustling noise of downtown nightlife started to fade, that confidence began to wane.
It was really quiet out here, and no one was around from what you could tell. You could see the sign for a park a little ways ahead and that managed to level your nerves.
Your cousin’s apartment wasn’t too far from there and if you kept at the pace you were moving, you could get there in 10 minutes or so.
God you hated wearing heels. You’d yet to find a pair that didn’t make you want to cut off your feet and curse the ground after only a couple of hours of use.
There was a part of you that was half tempted to take them off and walk the rest of the way barefoot, but after already passing several broken bottles along the street, you decided you didn’t want to chance a night in the ER.
All things considered you were proud of yourself for going out tonight. It had been months since you’d done anything besides: work, sleep, eat, repeat.
Save for a few weekends now and then of binge watching a true crime doc with your cousin Lucy or a trip to the dog park with her dog Penny, you hardly allowed yourself any time to relax.
Anything to avoid your mind having the opportunity to think of him. To think of your past.
So when your coworker invited you out with people from your department to celebrate their recent promotion, you decided to let yourself enjoy a night out. You felt you had earned it.
You hadn’t been working for the company very long, but you got along with everyone pretty well. It was nice of them to include you.
It was certainly more fun than you expected to have but after your brain had tried multiple times to convince you that you’d seen someone that wasn’t there—someone who you hadn’t seen in months—you knew it was time to go.
6 months.
6 months and you still searched for him in a room full of people.
It was pathetic.
Even now, as you walked the nearly empty streets you felt him. You didn’t know how— and despite logic and reason battling with these inexplicable feelings— it still felt like you could sense his presence.
Yeah, this had to be the alcohol talking.
You tightened your trenchcoat around your torso in an effort to self soothe and offered a half smile to the few people you walked by on your way toward the park.
As you rounded the sidewalk, you pulled your phone out to text your cousin that you’d be home any minute. She was probably already sleeping but you wanted to give her the heads up anyway.
Anything to avoid her attacking you with a broom like she did the one time you got home late from work.
Just as you went to tuck your phone back in your coat pocket it slipped out of your hand, landing on the ground face down with a loud crack.
“Fuck” you cried, bending down to asses the damage. Thankfully you had a screen protector, so the actual screen was fine. But man you had done a number on it. The uneven cracks that splintered the screen made it difficult to read the time and notifications.
As you rose from your squatting position, you caught a figure out of the corner of your eye ducking behind a car across the street.
You felt your stomach drop.
Slowly… you stood up taller, squaring your shoulders and trying to steady your breathing. You calmly reached for the front clasp of your clutch, thanking any god or the universe that you managed to stow your taser earlier that night.
You chose not to make any sudden movements. Instead you waited. You waited for so long you were starting to question if you had seen anything at all. Maybe you misunderstood and it was the alcohol messing with your senses.
But when you saw the tip of a black hoodie through the window of the car you knew you weren’t losing it.
“Who’s there?” you shouted.
No response.
“Listen,” your voice shook, “I’m about 10 seconds away from dialing 911 so if you’re not interested in explaining to the cops why you’re sneaking up on -”
“Ain’t no need for all that.” You heard a voice call back.
Your breath stilled. As soon as the voice hit you, it was like the ground beneath you had been ripped away. You didn’t even feel like you were in your own body anymore.
You dug your nails into your palm, trying to startle yourself awake. Surely you had to be dreaming.
But when the figure stood and faced you, their hood falling back to reveal their face, you couldn’t deny what you were seeing.
There were so many emotions swelling inside you at once. Disbelief, disappointment, anger and relief.
You didn’t know it was possible to feel so many things at once.
Perhaps the most compelling was the realization that despite everything, you still felt love. So much love that it made you feel weak.
It almost made you forget everything that’s happened.
The feelings of abandonment. The nights of endless tears. The calls and messages that would never seem to go through.
Feelings of confusion. Of constantly wondering what you did wrong.
Questioning if any of it was ever as real to him as it was to you.
You could almost forget it all. Run right across the street into his arms. Hug him and kiss him over and over. Tell him how much you missed him. How much you need him. How much you forgive him if you could just be together again.
But as quickly as those thoughts teased your mind, the feelings of anger and betrayal enveloped you like an unrelenting wave.
You couldn’t allow the love you felt to erase the hell you’ve endured. You wouldn’t.
So you swallowed the tears that threatened to spill and turned away, making bigger strides to get back to your cousin’s apartment.
You could hear him shout your name but you kept moving.
He must have crossed the street because you could hear him calling directly behind you.
You didn’t stop. You didn’t say a word. You just kept moving.
Choosing to run was just plain stupid, but it was your only resort to get away fast.
Not only was it stupid because your feet hurt like hell and you were risking a face plant any second, but it was stupid because he was the fucking punisher.
Any attempt to try and outrun him was pointless. He’d be able to catch you before you could even finish your next thought.
“Hey!” he yelled, finally catching up to you and grabbing your arm. “Just hold up would you?”
“No!” you shouted, yanking yourself out of his grasp. You took a few steps backward and he held his arms up in defense.
At this point you know you looked like a mess. The hot tears you were trying to suppress had spilled over and you could taste the salt of them on your tongue.
You wanted to hate him. You wanted to hate him so much but seeing the pained look on his face broke your heart.
To be honest he looked like shit. He looked like a man who hadn’t slept in months. His beard was long and unkempt. It even looked like he’d lost weight. And his eyes, the biggest tell of all, were sad and empty.
“I just want to talk.” he spoke calmly.
You shook your head. “How did you find me?”
When you left the witness protection program you didn’t even tell Madani where you were going. She tried to pry it out of you, swearing that it was her duty as her job and as a friend to know. However, you wouldn’t budge.
The people that were after Frank had been taken care of according to Dinah. You didn’t want to continue living out the rest of your life looking over your shoulder.
So you thanked her for all of her help and you wished her the best, but you didn’t want any ties to your life back then. You didn’t want any more reminders of him.
“He asks about you, you know?” she had said during your last conversation. “Every week like clockwork. I haven’t told him anything. Just that you’re safe and happy.”
You scoffed, “Well at least one of those is true.”
She was silent for a moment. “I hope you can give yourself a chance to be happy again. Love doesn’t always look the way we want it to and life is hardly ever fair, but once we choose to accept the pieces we are given…. we can allow ourselves to move on.”
You know Dinah meant well. And you appreciated how close the two of you had gotten based on the circumstances. But you weren’t sure if you could agree with what she was suggesting. It felt impossible to move on when your whole body still ached for him.
“Thank you Dinah.” you relented, “Who knew you could be so therapeutic?”
“Just part of the charm.” she laughed.
A comfortable silence fell between you. You were sitting on the balcony of your cousin’s apartment, and for a brief second you felt a little bit of excitement at the opportunity to start over.
Your cousin had managed to get you a job and while it wasn’t exactly what you were doing before, it was familiar work.
You’d be working for a publishing company polishing and approving manuscripts. It was boring, monotonous work but it was safe.
You thanked Madani again and expressed the hope of following up again someday in the future.
Then you changed your number and disabled your emails.
You knew doing so wouldn’t stop them from being able to find you if they really wanted to. Her and Frank were both good for that. But it gave you a sense of control for now. That you were the one deciding to distance yourself this time and the choice wasn’t being made for you.
“Could we go some place to talk?”, his voice broke you out of the memory.
You crossed your arms.
“No. You don’t get to show up out of nowhere after months of silence expecting to just talk. I have nothing to say to you.”
The words that tumbled out of your mouth were meant to be delivered with strength and conviction. Instead, they sounded more like someone trying to convince themselves that they believed them.
“I can explain whatever you want. Just let’s get out of the cold here, there’s a diner not too far out.” he said, tilting his head back towards where you came from. “We could get a cup of co-”
“No, Frank, I want to stay right here.”
He closed his mouth, but you could tell he was trying to keep his composure. You were being stubborn and as much as you hated being in the cold, you didn't want to be around other people.
You didn’t want to take the chance of losing your shit while people were trying to enjoy their food in peace.
“I get that you’re angry, but there’s a lot you don’t understand. I was just trying to protect you.” he tried to reason.
“You left me Frank. You didn’t text, you didn’t call. You left me completely in the dark.” you cried, wiping angrily at your face to rid the tears that were escaping.
“Do you know how scared I was? Having strangers show up to my house and basically tell me I couldn’t exist as me anymore? I had to move and change my name. And the one person I needed more than anything—the one person who could make all of it feel okay— wouldn't even answer a damn phone call.”
You suddenly felt like you were back in the empty apartment Madani had set you up in. You hardly knew her before that day, she was just “someone who had worked with Frank before”, according to what she told you.
But she kept giving you this look. This look that both expressed the pity she felt for you and the wonder of how you ended up in a situation like this? How you managed to get mixed up in the world of Frank Castle?
But you had met him after he had left that life behind him. And according to him, the life that he was never going back to. Things had been good for so long that you never even questioned it until that day. Now you didn’t even know what was real.
“You were in danger alright? I had angered some really powerful people. I had hurt them, did things I’m not proud of and I wasn’t about to let you take the fall for it. You weren’t safe with me.”
“I was always safe with you!” you shouted, “Who else could’ve kept me more safe than you? We could’ve worked it out together, we could’ve came up with a plan—” you stopped as you watched Frank shake his head in disbelief, “What, Frank? What the fuck is that about?”
“You have no idea what you’re talking about. Come up with a plan? Really?” he scoffed, “This isn’t team sports. It’s not some dumb escape room you sit around and solve clues in. It’s real fucking life.”
You looked down at your feet. The escape room comment was a low blow. It was something you loved doing and grumpy Frank hated. He’d go along with it if you planned it, not bothering to hide his disdain at first, but by the end of it you knew he had fun with you.
You didn’t think he’d throw it in your face as a means to mock you.
“Frank, we were partners. That’s what you do.” you replied, trying to keep your voice steady. “You work through things together. As a team. Not one person taking over and telling the other person what to do all the time, but see you didn’t ever want to do that did you? You didn’t think I was capable right?”
“Don’t go there.” he warned. You could see his hands start to twitch. In the past his agitation would have gotten you to dial it back a little. You hated fighting with him and it was never worth it.
But this time you didn’t care. You didn’t understand why he was the one so angry.
“Why not?” you probed, “You always made it seem like I was one mistake away from getting myself hurt.”
“That’s because you never took things seriously. You had no sense of danger. Too trusting, too carefree, too-”
“Stupid?” you interjected.
“I didn't say that.” he shot back. He ran his hands through his hair, trying to find some place to channel the tension. You could tell this was not how he wanted the conversation to be going either.
You couldn’t believe you were having this same fight. It was something you never got along about.
You tried to be understanding. You both had different life experiences and because Frank had a military background, he had been trained to look at things a certain way.
He was trained to look for a threat and “take it out before it took you”. Transitioning back to civilian life wasn’t always that simple. Those habits could be hard to unlearn.
It wasn’t always bad, but it wasn’t always necessary.
Not every stranger was a potential threat set out to hurt you.
Staying late at work didn’t mean you were in danger and someone was holding you hostage.
Interviewing a source for your upcoming news article didn’t immediately put a target on your back.
But Frank always anticipated the worst.
You know it was his way of expressing his love but it could be a lot at times. You just wanted to enjoy life together without always feeling like there was some danger lurking around the corner waiting to get you.
“Go ahead Frank,” you continued, “Let me hear how stupid it was for me to walk home by myself tonight. How naive it was to risk getting hurt when I should’ve called a cab.”
“I ain’t gonna act like it was a good idea, and up until a few minutes ago I’m sure you were realizin it wasn’t either.”
You let out a groan.
“I was almost home, besides I don’t think anyone would’ve tried anything with the big bad punisher stalking me.” you said, throwing your arms out dramatically.
“I mean really Frank, what was your plan? Were you just gonna jump out and shout surprise? Were you gonna follow me home to make sure no one grabbed me? Stare down the cars that drove past me? The people that passed me? What was the fucking point?”
For a moment he didn’t say anything.He kept his gaze down at his boots. The twitching of his hands had stopped, and the heavy rise and fall of his chest had slowed down.
“I needed to see you.”
The phrase was simple, but it held such weight.
You understood what he meant. You felt the desperation in his voice. And yet you couldn’t stop the anger from bubbling up.
“What about all the times I needed to see you? To hear your voice? Why didn’t I deserve the decency of a phone call, a text message, anything?”
“I couldn’t risk it.”
“Bullshit.” you spat. “You could risk asking Madani about me?”
His head shot up at that.
“Are we gonna do this all night?” he asked, the anger picking up in his voice again, “Huh? We’re gonna just keep yelling at each other? Who was right? Who was wrong?”
“Yes Frank because I’m angry with you! You made me feel unimportant. You made me feel helpless, like I had no control over my own damn life anymore.” You stepped closer, making sure he couldn’t avoid your eyes.
“You pushed me away like I meant nothing to you!” you shoved him.
“No.” he shouted, “I pushed you away because you meant everything to me!”
He turned away and let out a deep breath through his nose. The weight of his words slamming into you like a wrecking ball.
“Everyone I've ever cared about gets hurt because of me. Because of my demons. Because of the shit I've done to other people. I couldn't take that chance with you. They were so close to hurting you. I had to do something. That’s why I contacted Madani. That’s why we got you into witness protection.”
You felt the sting of the tears start to swell up again. From anger, frustration or sadness you couldn’t tell. Maybe it was all three.
“You want to know why I couldn’t say goodbye to you? Why I couldn’t call you? It’s because I knew—,” he paused and looked off to the side, “I knew that if I saw you—if I just heard your fucking voice—I’d change my mind.”
He finally locked eyes with you again, taking a step closer to you. He was testing it out, seeing how close you would let him get. To his surprise you didn’t move away.
“I couldn’t be selfish with you.” he said softly.
You didn’t know what to say. You knew the people that had been after Frank were relentless, but you never once feared for your life. Maybe there was more to it that he kept from you, and you wanted to trust him, but it didn’t diminish what you experienced while he was gone.
“Sweetheart, I’m sorry I hurt you. But I’m not sorry I did it because you’re safe. And I know it’s probably not what you want to hear, but I’d do it again in a fucking hearbeat if it meant nothing would happen to you.”
“It’s just—.” your voice trembled and you bit your bottom lip. You couldn’t look at him. You couldn’t put the words together.
“What is it?” he asked gently, taking another step towards you. This time he was close enough he grabbed the bottom of your chin and tilted it up towards him.
“I really missed you and I didn’t think you cared about me anymore.” You choked.
Suddenly you felt yourself pressed up against his chest as he pulled you into him. “No baby, that’s not true.” he soothed.
You wrapped your arms around his torso and laid your head on his chest, letting all the pent up emotions slowly release. God you forgot how good it felt to be held by him.
All the nights you longed for this very feeling. For him to hug you and kiss you and tell you everything was gonna be alright.
You could feel your unsteady breathing start to level out again and all the anger and frustration slowly disappear. It was as if he was a magnet, pulling out the deepest emotions you tried so hard to bury.
“I missed you so fucking much you have no idea.” He pulled back, tilting his head down to look at you.
You both locked eyes and without thinking twice you kissed him. He responded instantly, pulling you so tightly against him it was as if he was trying to swallow you whole.
That feeling people mention of the world standing still—you finally understood what that meant.
When you couldn’t breathe anymore you pulled away, resting your forehead against his.
“What does this mean, Frank?” you quietly asked. “Can we be together now? Do we just go back to the way things were before?”
He was quiet for a moment and you almost regretted asking the question.
“It’s whatever you want it to be sweetheart.” he finally answered, “You tell me.”
You weren’t sure what to say. One half of you wanted to be together again. The other half wasn’t so sure you should give in this easily.
What if it happened again? You didn’t doubt there were more people out there that’d like to see Frank Castle and the people he loved, hurt.
Would he push you away? You didn’t think you could survive it a second time.
“Frank, I love you. I want to be with you. But I need you to treat me like an equal. I want to be included in decisions. I don’t want to be kept in the dark again, it isn’t fair.”
Though he wasn’t speaking, you could tell the thoughts were churning in his head.
“If something like this comes up again I want to know about it. I want to have a say in how we handle it. Can you please promise me that?”
Frank let out a heavy sigh. He had to fight with the selfish side of him that wanted to say no. This shouldn’t even be something you have to worry about. He’s the one that should be responsible, not you.
But if he was being honest with himself these past several months were hell. He hated not being with you and maybe compromising would be the best thing to do after all.
He didn’t like making promises in general, but as he looked into your eyes he couldn’t bring himself to fight anymore. He needed to be with you just as much as you needed him too.
“Okay.” he agreed quietly.
“Promise me.” you urged again. You needed to hear him say it.
“I promise.”
You didn’t even realize how tense your body had become until you felt your shoulders relax. Frank pulled you into him again and you could feel the tension in him relax as well.
If anyone would have told you an hour ago you’d be standing in the middle of the street being held by Frank you would’ve told them they were crazy.
There were nights you never thought this moment would come. So as the two of you continued to stand there, holding onto each other. You realized there was probably nothing in this world that could match this feeling.
You would make sure that no matter what was waiting for you around the corner, you’d never let go again.
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rahhhbananas · 11 months
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AHEM *Couch* *chokes* *Accends*
So, can you make like a Miles x Male reader.
Like i be in my bed thinking what if they fr had a little baby named cory. Like Honestly. Imagine Him and Miles are like coming from thier earth and then while traveling to the spider society a baby just appears on Y/N's arms and frufurhfrufhruf. I just wanna see that and miles being a dad while Y/N is just out buying stuff alone.
(I hope there is multiple parts but Y/N has like super strength,, regenaration, infinite stamina and is kinda like a demon from demon slayer but like more stronger.)
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✭ ✭ ✭ 𝐃𝐀𝐃𝐃𝐈𝐄𝐒 𝐅𝐎𝐑 𝐀 𝐃𝐀𝐘 ✭ ✭ ✭
warning(s). He/Him pronouns, foul language, The Spot , not proof-read
a/n. I hope you like it! I have a habit of getting off topic a lot but I tried to stay original to your plot! and there will definitely be a part 2
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“This is insane!”
Miles exclaimed as he watched a group of spider people jog by. Y/n smiled. “Yeah, it's nice to know there are people like you whom you can relate to...” Miles looked up, hearing Y/n trail off. He stared at the other, and a long silence ensued before he finally spoke. “Wha... what is it? Did my suit rip!?” Miles patted himself down, feeling for any tears. “This is so embarrassing...” he sulked, sticking close to Y/n, trying to hide the rip from view. However, Y/n was still speechless. Pointing to Miles' back, he said, “Whose goddamn baby is that?” Miles stopped and looked at himself before attempting to find the baby.
“Baby?”
“Miles it’s…no, Miles on your back!”
“My back?”
“Miles, turn around!”
“Nah, I got this. Lemme just-“
“Miles-“
Y/n snatched the baby from Miles’ back “I don’t have the time or brain cells to deal with you.” Y/n held the baby up, the teenagers now getting a better look at the child. He had dark skin, e/c eyes, black hair, and a birth mark bellow his eye. Y/n looked Miles up and down “You cheatin on me? Got a girl pregnant…?” Y/n asked, his expression was everything but amused. Miles stared at Y/n, shocked, “I’m 15! What business do I have having…sex!” Miles flailed his arms around “What business do you have being Spider-Man..?” There was a long silence before it was broken by a tired sigh “Y/n I’d never cheat on you…” He grabbed Y/n’s hand, hoping to comfort him “Plus, the baby has some of your qualities. Now are you cheatin on me?” Miles joked, earning himself a punch to the shoulder.
Y/n laughed, before meeting the babies curious gaze “Well, then who’s baby is it?” Y/n asked, someone cleared their throat, the teens turned to see another spider person. Their suit was yellow, and they had large brown glasses “Theres a possibility that the portal merged your dna. It’s never happened before, but there was still a lingering potential…” The spider person answered, snorting before pushing up his glasses, Miles looked at the guy somewhat confused “Oh..thanks man.” The latter nodded before slinking off, Miles looked at Y/n “We really gon believe that?” Y/n deadpans, turning to face Miles “Unless you wanna go with idea that one of us cheated then yes, we will go with that.” Y/n responded, walking off towards Jess’ disappearing figure.
"Miles...” Miguel stared at the baby that Miles cradled. "Is that... your baby?" Y/n smiled, nodding. "Kinda. He was just attached to Miles when we got here. Why, Is he bothering you?" Y/n asked, a sudden aggression in his voice. Miguel's eyes widened. "What? No, no, no. Y-you can do whatever you want with... How did you get in here!" Miguel looked at Y/n, realization dawning upon him "You aren't supposed to be here." Y/n shrugged. "Get off the kid's arse. ‘Mm not supposed to be here either!" A punk-themed Spider-Man yelled from a swivel chair. Miguel rubbed his temple. "Hobie... just shut up. I can't deal with you right now." The leader sighed before brushing off the conversation, “Whatever, you know you can’t ignore me.” Hobie chimed, "Leave."
Miles looked confused and handed the baby to Y/n. "Leave? You mean like all of us? Or just him?" Miguel's frown deepened. "LEAVE!" He roared, bearing his fangs. Y/n and Miles quickly exited, not wanting to face Miguel's wrath.
Y/n looked at Miles with newfound annoyance. "Ugh, this spider society was a total bust. Hey, Miles, how are we gonna get home?" Y/n rocked the baby. "Huh?" The teen looked at Y/n, confused. "Get home? Y/n, we've only been here for like an hour. We can't leave yet!" Miles laughed, finding the situation amusing. Y/n raised an eyebrow. "Yeah, but we've got a baby to take care of!" Y/n handed Miles the kid. "You watch Cory while I go get some baby stuff!" Miles' face scrunched in confusion. "Cory? You named him?" Y/n nodded, but Miles frowned. "Y/n, no. We both know that once you name something, you get emotionally attached! We don't even know how long we'll have this baby. He could disappear right now!" Y/n gasped, covering the babbling baby's ears. "Miles! Don't say that in front of him. It's too late for abortion..." he whispered. Miles looked at Y/n as if he were crazy.
“Any-who! I’ll be at the nearest baby-store!” Y/n pulled out a futuristic watch, “Y/n where the hell did you get that…” Miles watched as his boyfriend tweaked with the watch, it started beeping rapidly before a orange portal opens and sucks Y/n in. Miles looked somewhat shocked “Well, I guess it’s just you and me…Cory?” The baby squealed in delight, enjoying Miles’ confused face. He sighed, walking further into the society.
“Thank you!” Y/n bided goodbye to the shop owner. He smiled seeing all the things he got from a low price, “Man, I can’t believe I got all this for only $30!” Y/n turned into a dark secluded alleyway, pulling out the watch his finger hovers over the button. Until he heard a yelp of pain, after waiting to hear the sound again Y/n spoke, “Hey, anyone in there?” He walked further into the alley, suddenly, a figure emerged from the trash can.
“I am, The Spot!”
“… are you a street performer or…?”
“What? No, I’m a villain.”
“Oh…”
“Aren’t you gonna ask me something?”
“Nah man, I’m good..”
“Please! Just ask me how I got like this! O-or why I’m after Spider-Man.”
“No, no..I-I said I’m good, don’t really wanna know that.”
“At least give me a good rating!”
“You want me to rate you?”
“Yes!”
“….um.”
“You won’t believe what the last guy called me! He said I was the ‘Villain of the Week’! Does he know how insensitive that is?”
“Look…Dot-“
“It’s Spot…”
"Sorry, Spot, I don't have time for this. My kid really needs his stuff," Y/n gave an awkward smile wanting to end the conversation, but the villain seemed persistent. "O-oh! You have a kid? Aren't you a little young?" Trying to keep the conversation flowing, the Spot followed, much to Y/n's dismay. "Um, he's not really mine. Me and my boyfriend just found him... kinda."
The Spot nodded, looking anywhere but the teen's eyes. The awkwardness was pushing his limits. "So, what's his name?" he coughed, looking at a stray cat. "You know what, I'm not doing this." Y/n clicked the button and quickly jumped into the portal, not bothering to look back. It closed with equal speed.
"Ugh, that guy was so awkward." Y/n groaned, setting the bags down on the counter before trudging to Miles’ room. He plopped on the bed, but before he could fully relax, a loud bang came from the window. A clicking sound was heard before feet hit the ground. "Did you just forget about us? I've been running from a crazy man for an hour!" Miles plopped down next to Y/n, letting Cory rest on his chest. Y/n sighed. "A crazy man? Miguel?" Y/n looked up, and Miles laughed, switching positions. "No, it was some anomaly dude. He had spots everywhere. But I wouldn't worry too much. He seems like a villain of the week." Miles let out a sigh, lounging further into the mattress, mindlessly letting Cory play with his hands. Y/n sat up, giving Miles a dead look. "You took a baby into battle?" Y/n frowned. Meanwhile, Miles froze and coughed lightly. "P-Peter does it all the time! It's not that bad, plus he's okay!" Y/n's frown deepened. "Peter is a trained professional. He can do what he wants!" Miles scoffed. "Trained professional? Have you met Peter?" Miles exclaimed, screaming as a pillow hit him in the face.
“That’s for taking a literal baby into battle!” Y/n hit Miles again “And that’s for not getting me a donut this morning!” Miles laughed, blocking the next hit “Are you serious!? Your still holding onto that donut thing!” Cory watched the two teens, falling back from his own laughter. Miles lunged forward, tackling Y/n and starting to tickle him back “You jerk! Stop-!” Y/n yelled between laughter, Cory’s contagious giggles followed. Miles smiled, looking at the child before picking him up “You wanna laugh?” Miles’ tickled the young boy, his smile widening the louder Cory giggled.
Y/n looked at the two, seemingly content with the situation, until he heard a pair of keys jingle. Miles stopped, picking Cory up and handing him to Y/n, he peaked out his door, coming back he looked panic, “Shit! My Dads here…how are we gonna hide a literal child!?”
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avernusreject · 6 months
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Warning ya'll this is gonna be a long post. But please join my descent into insanity, as I deep dive into the vague wormhole that is the durge betrayal pre bg3 timeline.
Before we start, it’ll help if you have context around the faerun calendar. There are twelve months in total, each having exactly 30 days. Additionally, weeks don’t exist in faerun. Rather months get broken down into chunks of time called tendays, which you guessed is literally just ten days. If that was too straight forward for you, don’t worry, they add in five extra days to the calendar that fall outside of the months (ngl I still have no idea where these are located) to make the full year 365 days. 
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At the beginning of the game, the nautiloid crash occurs at 20 Eleasis. Which means, the game starts in the middle of summer. Obviously, the way you play the game is going to influence the speed of events, but for my playthrough I reached moonrise towers around 12 elient (total time being 22 days). When you get to moonrise, in Bathazar’s chamber you can find his journal that explains that Kressa (the crazy necromancer chick) managed to keep durge alive. This entry is dated “two tenday ago”. But in game, that makes no sense because we know that the nautiloid should have crashed around that point. So either Balthazar doesn’t understand how the Faerun calendar works (I mean same, my guy) or we have to change our frame of reference. I think its more likely that the implied frame of reference is the start of the game, 20 Eleasis (since the developers can’t control how fast the player goes). 
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If true, durge was saved by Kressa around 1 Eleasis. Her vivisections took place after this in the following days. However, durge is taken away before the end of the following tendays (at least before 10 Eleasis).
Now when you talk to Kressa in the basement of moonrise, she states that she found durge only hours after they had been given the tadpole.
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In the fight with Orin, she states that when she attacked durge she carved out a hole for the worm (ignore the Half-Elf part, that's just from the moment Orin turns into durge during the pre-fight convo).
The part that we're missing is when specifically the tadpole was inserted into durge. But given how the game describes just how utterly fucked durge was, there's a high likelyhood that the tadpole was given to durge moments after their fight. Which if true, places Orin's betrayal at 1 Eleasis. Giving us twenty days till the start of the game.
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The piece that threw me for a bit was this piece of the narrator's dialogue when durge examines the pod, stating that durge had no idea how much time had passed.
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But the blood in the pod is still fresh enough that Astarion is able to ID it as durge & in another dialogue choice if you examine the blood further the narrator states the blood hasn't been there long enough to rot.
I think this dialogue is more explaining that durge is actively being tortured by Kressa so time feels unending (kressa being the one who put them in the pod to begin with).
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I've seen in other posts that Gortash's draft memoir explains that Orin's betrayal occurred during or just around the crowning of the brain (I don't have a screenshot of that unfortunately). But we have to take that with a grain of salt because Gortash is the definition of an unreliable narrator.
Personally, I don't think he's lying though. Orin's betrayal occurred in moonrise and there's really no other reason that Orin and durge would be in moonrise that the game has provided. Not to mention, the warden explains the last time that durge was in moonrise, they never left.
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I don't think durge came to moonrise more then once given the fact that the warden, who had clearly been there a while, had no clue who they were. I find it hard to believe their identity would be kept under wraps had they been at moonrise multiple times. Employees have to gossip about something.
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I think its likely that Ketheric, Gortash, and Durge tamed the brain in the days leading up to 1 Eleasis (like ~20 to 30 Flamerule).
In summary, the dead three had a Phineas and Ferb summer vacation by deciding to create the cult of the absolute.
And yes if you are wondering this is how I look now.
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awfcspencer · 4 months
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omg please write a part 2 to that Jill fic its absolutely broken my heart
It Takes A Second To Say Hello, But Forever To Say Goodbye || jill roord x reader
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jill roord x mancity!reader
Part 1
prompt: requested!
warnings: angst
a/n: i got multiple requests for a part 2 so here you go!
The silence that followed your confession was deafening, the slamming of the door of the washroom stall was the only noise heard. Not only did Jill hear you loud and clear, but so did your other teammates. Small tears had began to brim in your eyes and your mind was jumbled, your body felt numb. This was not how you wanted to tell her, not that you ever wanted to tell her frankly. You were planning on keeping this secret a secret for as long as you could. Jill has a girlfriend, and she seemed happy. You would rather her be happy with someone else than possibly unhappy with you, all you wanted for her is to be happy. Your teammates tried to comfort you, tried to pull you in for hugs, but the only thing you could do is run to the pitch and began getting ready for the match.
Stepping on the pitch was like a safe place for you. Your brain could turn off and all you focused on was football. But today, emotions were high, thoughts were cloudy, and honestly, you were utterly embarrassed. You tried your best to warm up, going through a quick few drills, but all you thought about was Jill. Her eyes wide and mouth parted when you confessed your secret admiration for the girl. You knew indefinitely that you were in love with her, but she wasn’t in love with you.
Back in the changing room Jill is left speechless. Her mind is running at 100 km/h, unsure of so, so many things. You had just confessed that you were in love with her and then ran out so quickly that she didn’t even get a second to really process the sentence that left your mouth. The sentence that shattered your heart, but confused Jill’s brain. What hurt the most was that you never told Jill about your crush. From the moment Jill had met you when she played for Arsenal, she fancied you. She was overzealous when she got back from the match and you had followed her on social media, obviously returning the favor very quickly. When she transferred to Man City, she hoped the two of you could form a relationship, whether that be a friendship or a romantic relationship. She really just wanted to know you, understand you. Questions of, what would have been and what would have happened if she told you how she felt stormed her brain. She wanted you at a certain point and you wanted her too.
Jill had spent weeks pinning over you. Hoping that the subtle coffee dates, movie watching, and cuddling on the coach would portray her feelings towards you, but they were left unanswered. She figured that you just wanted to be friends with Jill, and she would take being friends, even if it physically pained her, over nothing with you. She needed you in her life and any way she could get that was good for her. So when she had met someone through a mutual friend, she assumed that you would be fine with it, because she thought you did not love her like she loved you.
The confession could not have happened at a worse time as you both now had to transition and play a 90 minute football game. Your passes were weak and Jill’s shot on goal was subpar. The weight of what had occurred previously was definitely affecting the both of your performances on the pitch. Man City was blessed to come out on the other side and win the match 2-0 thanks to Lauren, as you were subbed off early, your head clearly not in the game.
“Y/N” is all Jill said to you when you walked to the bench, sitting several seats over from her. You did not answer her, here was definitely not the place nor the time to get into the situation.
The changing room was tense, a lingering feeling of miscommunication and confusion was in the air. Your teammates knew you and Jill were close but not really understanding the deep connection you both had formed, especially when you both liked each other at one point. Your teammates could tell in trainings or in the lounge the conversations between you two, the eye contact, the way your hands would brush casually, but never really though much about it. Assuming that one of you would man up and confess your feelings.
Jill invaded every waking thought you had for the next few days. When you woke up, you thought of Jill. When you were about to go to bed, you thought of Jill, she even invaded your dreams or possibly nightmares depending on the dream. The hardest part of dreaming about someone you love is waking up to remember that that person is gone. Everything reminded you of her as well, that combined with the fact that she was also your teammate was hard. You both kept it professional, making sure to not ever be alone with her and trying your best not to make eye contact with her, knowing you would immediately burst into tears. Jill had unintentionally shattered your heart.
Jill had wanted to send you a single text, ‘I am was in love with you too’ is all she wanted to write or likewise texts that conveyed her feelings but each time she would erase the words, unable to communicate. So she left her feelings completely to herself.
Jill’s heart was also in pieces. She had lost you entirely it felt like, although she didn’t know she had done it to you. She racked her brain on how she could not feel the mutual crush you both shared. She was in a happy relationship, it was unfair to her partner to simply just break up with her because the one she wanted you had just confessed your love for her.
When you left in the January transfer window to Real Madrid, it was shell shocking, not only for Jill, but also your teammates and Man City fans. Jill tried to text you but you left her on delivered, unable to come up with the right words to say, unsure if you ever knew what the right words would be. Your transfer was talked about on all platforms, many people speculating why you did not renew, some even coming up with nasty and crazy rumors on what occurred. You knew other teams were eyeing you as your contract was expiring. At first you were hesitant, but after everything with Jill, you needed something new, a new environment, one where Jill wasn’t.
Unfortunately, Jill never left your mind, always lingering in the back of your brain. Anytime she would post on social media, you immediately saw it, not being able to force yourself to turn off her notifications. You had gotten close when she posted her new relationship, but Jill looked happy, and at the end of the day, that is all that you cared about and mattered to you. You also kept up with how Manchester City was doing in the WSL, that was your team for as long as you could remember so you would always support them. You also secretly always checked how Jill performed. You knew you would be trying forever to say goodbye to Jill. She had such an immediate impact on your life, your first real true love, she was unforgettable. You had noticed that as of recently, Jill was not posting with her partner, but that was simply none of your business.
Several weeks later, national duty came up and you had completely forgotten that there was a scheduled friendly match against the Netherlands. Initially you and Jill were so excited, talking about how she would show you around her favorite places in her home country when you got there. You were even going to meet her family as well. Obviously those plans were before the ‘incident’, as you now referred to it as, so you now only felt dread thinking about the match.
For prematch and in the tunnel, you completely avoided Jill, only seeing her when you high-fived the opposing team before the start of the match. You also tried your best to stay clear of her on the pitch as well. Since this was just a friendly, you both did not play much, subbed off pretty early on to avoid injury. After the match you knew you wanted to speak to Viv, she was a dear friend of yours when Arsenal would take on Man City.
The final match whistle blew and you made a bee line for Viv, hoping to catch her quickly and then go back to the changing room. Until you heard a voice desperately calling your name, you knew the voice instantly, her voice. Everything in you knew not to turn around, not to give in, but it was as if you did not have control over your body as you turned to face the eyes you had been desperately missing. The eyes that initially made you fall in love with her.
“Y/N” is all she breathed out, almost in a whisper, surprised you actually turned around to her.
“Jill” you reply back to her. An awkward silence fell over the two of you, both not necessarily sure what to say next. Jill rubbed her neck, bouncing on her heels. Talking to you use to be like second nature for Jill, but now she was unable to form a coherent sentence.
“I um, I am single now.” she admits, her eyes fall to the ground, scared of your reaction to the sentence.
A wave of deja vu hits you, as once again you have found yourself in a situation similar to your confession all those months ago with Jill. Jill now confessing that she was single, insinuating that her being single was to mean something to you. All the pushed back emotions of trying to force Jill out of your mind were now out. You had spent weeks trying to figure out how to say a complete goodbye to Jill and move on. A lifetime of trying to say a proper goodbye to Jill. But now here she is trying to rekindle everything you fought so hard to forget.
“Jill” is all you could mutter out again. While a small part inside you was ecstatic, a large portion of you was concerned, hoping Jill did not break up with her previous partner because of your confession. Does she maybe possibly like you back? But that wasn’t fair to you, but even after everything, Jill was still your muse, your why, your love.
The very very very last thing you should do is hug her, under no circumstances should you hug her. But unfortunately, stood in the middle of the pitch, your bodies embraced. Your not sure if you started the hug first or if she did but nothing mattered. You were hugging Jill, you missed her warm body, her strong arms, her vanilla scent, everything about her.
The words unspoken meant much more, knowing at some point when the hug ends, you will need to talk to her. But for right now, you were hugging Jill, the love of your life. While you thought you were going to spend forever trying to say goodbye, it was so much easier to say hello. Welcoming the new rollercoaster that both you and Jill stepped on.
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comicaurora · 3 months
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These have been pent up for a while, so there's a whole list lol. Some are Aurora, some are not.
1) Can lacrimas carry out multiple purposes at once? Or will they blend them? I'm assuming that this is possible, considering that the automaton in the ruins was using a lacrima as a brain
2) Has anyone tried to make tools or weapons out of lacrimas? I'm talking like chisel that needs no hammer. Or maybe a Fire lacrima on a bow that sets your arrows on fire
3) Can you engrave runes on lacrimas to make them affect themselves?
4) Where can I read more about the Twins? If I'm not wrong they're the creator gods, aided by the Light dragon and the Void dragon to create life, but I might be getting a wrong read on that
5) Since we see Erin successfully become the first Void mage, does that now mean there's potential for him to make a Void lacrima? The dragon probably won't allow it, but still
6) What exactly does elemental corruption of each element do? Fire literally burns you up, as we saw in Arc 1. I can infer that Life likely makes you a chimera. Void corruption makes you a cave crawler. But what do the other one do? Does Earth make you a statue? Does Wind disintegrate you, Thanos style?
7) Now onto the non-Aurora questions, is your art vector or raster? I believe it's vector, but it's always better to confirm
8) What are your opinions on reading into the environment and the character design to infer things about the character themselves? In any type of media
9) Have you played Baldur's Gate 3?
10) Do you have any music that you'd recommend? I've listened to every song I liked so many times that I hate them now.
11) I'm new to Tumblr, anything that I should know? You don't have to answer this one if you don't wanna. I think I know some of the basics already. Reblog what you like, and avoid the terfs, right?
You might be able to tell that I like the idea of the lacrimas a little bit. Just a teensy bit. The artificer in me definitely isn't obsessed. I appreciate any answers you can give :3
Cheers!
Ooh, lots of stuff!
Yes, it's possible. A lacrima can be engraved with multiple spells, set in a casing engraved with commands, or some combination of the two. Typically, all spells engraved directly on a lacrima will activate at once when the lacrima is "switched on", but a spell can be quite complex, and conditional activations are possible - "if-then-else" statements, basically.
Yes, magic items exist.
Generally no. If the lacrima is disrupted or broken, the spell generally stops functioning, so a self-affecting lacrima will run only as long as it takes for the lacrima to distort or break.
There's an extra lore page about them!
He probably could if he wanted to (and the Dragon allowed it) but Void energy is very dangerous, so he likely doesn't want to.
Each form of elemental corruption agitates the presence of the element in the mage's body. Earth corruption can damage or alter bones, encourage unhealthy petrification of soft tissues, etc. Wind corruption can have physical effects but it often most obviously produces breakdowns in the person's ability to speak or understand language. Lightning damages, numbs or intensifies a person's physical senses.
Raster, I draw with CSP's digital pens. I've only very briefly experimented with vector art - I don't like how it simplifies the lines.
I think it's a fun school of analysis but, like all literary analysis, it runs into trouble if it tries to lock down exactly what the writer was thinking or intending (which is an objective fact that one can be incorrect about) rather than trying to analyze the story on its own and what meaning might, intentionally or unintentionally, be factoring into it.
Nope
don't trust my taste in music it's 90% nu metal and sonic OSTs
Like what you like, reblog what you want, generally it's considered dubious form to add a comment to a reblog unless you have something profound to contribute (commenting in the tags is fine), steer clear of discourse and callout posts and generally the sectors of the site that are constantly on fire, blocking someone for any reason is 100% fine
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callsign-rogueone · 3 months
Text
the last six years - b.s.
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Brennan Sorrengail x reader Only one person has remained by Brennan’s side for the last six years, through the good and the bad. [requested] wc: 3.9k 🏷: SPOILERS FOR FOURTH WING AND IRON FLAME. fatal injury, blood, and multiple character deaths. basically every bad thing that has ever happened to Brennan will be in this series. I took some major creative liberties with this one and made a bunch of stuff up regarding Tyrrish culture, but we’re just gonna breeze right past that. more to come, because Brennan is just so husband material… mans had me giggling and kicking my feet every time he spoke.
“Tairn! We need Naolin!” You scream, praying that he is alive to hear you. “Bren, please, stay with me.”
His chest rises and falls slowly; he's still breathing. Breathing is good. “Y’need to get out of here.”
“No. I’m not leaving you. Eyes open, Bren, please,” you beg, pressing your hands deeper into the wound. “Tairn!”
“Thirty seconds out!” He yells back.
There’s not much you can do. To remove the arrow is a death sentence when you don’t have any medical supplies. It’s the only thing keeping the blood in his body, but even then it’s doing a shitty job; the warm crimson continues spilling out through your fingers, seemingly endless. 
“S’ gonna be okay, sweetheart,” Brennan soothes, feeling your panic.
“Bren, you need to stay awake. You can’t die. I can’t keep going without you.” Tears are pouring freely down your cheeks, dripping down onto the dark fabric of his flight jacket.
“You’re bleeding,” he mumbles, ignoring your pleas. He’s slipping away, fast, falling into the slow confusion that comes with a shortage of blood to the brain. “Let me mend you.”
“I’ll worry about myself later. Right now we need to keep you alive.” 
Heavy bootsteps enter the room. “Holy shit,” Naolin breathes, at your side in an instant. He digs in his bag, producing sutures and gauze.
If you act quickly, and if by some miracle the arrowhead hasn’t pierced Brennan’s heart, you can keep him stable long enough to find another mender. You break the shaft of the arrow, Brennan whimpering in pain as it shifts within his chest. 
“I know, my love, I’m so sorry,” you soothe, wiping your palms on your pant legs and moving to cradle his head in your lap as Naolin takes over. You keep whispering reassurances to him, terrified that if you stop, it’ll sever the last thread holding him in this world. “You’re doing so good, Bren. Almost done, I promise.”
Naolin gives you a look that tells you no, he’s not almost done. 
Brennan’s grip on your hand loosens, and you scramble to grab his wrist, bloodied fingers trying to find a pulse -- to no avail. “No,” you cry, tears pouring down your cheeks, “Bren, please wake up, please.”
The slow thump beneath your fingertips stops. Brennan’s heart is no longer beating.
You sob, a desperate sound that splits the air of the ballroom, and Naolin makes his decision, grasping Brennan’s hand and yours. “The two of you need each other.” 
“Nao, you can’t-” you gasp at the rush of energy that rips through you, the pain in your broken ribs diminishing instantly. You feel like you’ve been given a shot of pure adrenaline.
Naolin stops breathing just as Brennan starts again, collapsing to the marble floor, and your lips part in shock.
“He is gone,” Tairn confirms, fighting to keep his voice even. “May your gods honor his sacrifice and reward him in the next life.”
“I’m so sorry.”
His eyes are closed. That comforts you in some tiny way, that he looks whole, uninjured, like he could just be sleeping, but you know that isn’t the case.
Brennan’s breaths are even, pulse steady. The wound looks days old now, the fresh blood coating the skin the only evidence that he had nearly died today. He’ll pull through, as long as you can get out of here.
You say a prayer to Malek on your friend’s behalf, casting one last glance at his unmoving body, and gather Brennan into your arms -- he’s still breathing, but limp, exhausted. You can carry him out of here, but where will you go?
A man bearing a crossbolt steps into the ballroom.
You make no movement toward your weapon, still holding Brennan’s body to your chest. “We surrender,” you rasp, praying he will take pity on a pair of bloodsoaked young lovers and their fallen comrade. 
He steps closer, not responding. 
The words escape you before you can think. The old language feels foreign on your tongue, misshapen from years of disuse. “I am a daughter of the house Lindell, and a citizen of Tyrrendor. I have sworn an oath to-”
“I know who you are, Lady,” he says. “Come with me.”
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He stops in front of an abandoned farmhouse, painted gold in the sunset. “Bathe, sleep. I’ll be back when I can.”
You remain by Brennan’s side. You stitch up his wounds, wash the dried blood from his skin, count his heartbeats as he continues to sleep. 
Night comes, bringing freezing wind through the cracked windows, and you climb into the bed beside him, pulling the few blankets you’d found over the pair of you. He curls into your side, seeking warmth — his skin is still cold, but not as icy as it had been when you limped him over here.
When you wake the next morning, the man has not yet returned.
“Ban?” You ask quietly. You haven’t heard from the dragon since you’d dismounted over a day ago, but she must still live, as you do.
“Nearby, with Marbh,” she reassures. “Tairn has returned to Basgiath to be with his mate. It will take years for him to recover from this loss, but he will live on.”
You continue to stroke Brennan’s hair, taking solace in the steadiness of his breathing.
“Your devotion to the mender is the strongest I have seen from any human,” she says quietly. 
“He has become the air I breathe. It was unbearable when he…” you don’t even want to think the words. “I don’t know what I would have done, had Naolin not intervened.”
Brennan stirs, stretching in the cute way you’ve seen him do so many times after waking up, scrunching his face at the bright morning light streaming into the room. He takes you in, thanking the gods that the only injury you bear is a yellowing bruise on your cheek. A gentle hand cradles your face, and it vanishes.
“Naolin?” He asks quietly, and something tells you he already knows deep down.
You shake your head, your eyes brimming with tears. “He gave his life to save you.” 
He looses a shuddering breath, and you gather him into your arms, crying together.
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You attempt to mentally prepare yourself to enter the assembly room, adjusting your posture -- shoulders back, chin up, eyes forward. 
“Not a word,” you warn Brennan quietly. “Keep your shields up, like I taught you.”
“I didn’t know we were taking prisoners,” a lanky teenage boy calls, eyeing you from his perch on the edge of a table. In the years you’ve been away, he’s grown into his father’s dark features, and the lazy confidence that can only come with a noble title. “I was wondering when you’d be back from playing soldier. Have they brought you here to negotiate?”
“Lovely to see you again too, Xaden,” you say dryly, addressing the boy by name, and Brennan’s gaze whips toward you in shock. “No, I am not here to negotiate. We are here to surrender, and if you will have us, we will take your side in this fight to free Tyrrendor from those who have oppressed her for centuries.”
“They would be an asset to us, should this prove to not be a setup,” one of the elders says, keeping his hand on the hilt of his longsword.
“She has proved her allegiance to Tyrrendor time and time again,” Xaden defends coldly, dismissing the man who looks old enough to be his grandfather. “It is the general's son that I’m more concerned with.”
You look him directly in the eye as you speak, raising your chin. “Sorrengail is a strong rider and skilled mender, but above all, he is a good man. I could not have chosen anyone better to share the crown with when the day comes.”
Brennan looks at you like he has no idea who you are, trying to discern if this is a dream.
Xaden finds this amusing. “She really didn’t tell you? Always so secretive, that one. Your girlfriend is heir apparent to the Duchy of Lindell, as I am to Aretia, where you stand.”
He looks to the elders, who all nod in affirmation, deeming your appraisal of Brennan satisfactory. “It’s good to have you back, Lady. Things were getting boring without you.”
You lower your head to him in thanks, Brennan quickly copying you.
You tug Brennan into the hall after you’re dismissed.
“Did you really mean that?” He asks, head still spinning.
“Every word,” you reply. “From the moment you extended that hand to me in our first year at Basgiath, I knew you were good to your core, Brennan Sorrengail. It would be an honor to share my duty with you.” 
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“Your mate needs you,” Marbh says, making a rare appearance.
Your heart drops. You sprint down the valley trail back to the house, attempting to ascertain what had happened, but you aren’t given a response. Marbh has always been vague.
You find Brennan tucked into a corner of your shared room, back pressed to the wall. He’s clutching a piece of parchment that you recognize to be a Basgiath death roll. He extends it to you wordlessly, and your eyes race down the list, searching for Mira, his mother, another of your friends…
The final name on the list, below the rider’s quadrant cadets, almost as an afterthought… Major William Sorrengail. His father.
“Oh, Bren,” you breathe, gathering him into your arms, “I’m so sorry.”
His entire body shakes with a sob, and it takes everything in you to not cry as well, but you remain strong, needing to be there for him. “I knew I’d never see him again,” he says in a cracked whisper, “but now…” But now it’s real.
You’d never met the man, and now you never will, but you know what a profound impact Brennan’s father had on his life, imparting so many of the qualities that you admire about Brennan; his dedication to his studies, his respect for the scribes that so many others dismiss or overlook, his unwavering compassion…
You offer a silent prayer to Malek on his behalf, asking that He show the scribe the same kindness that he had shown others in life.
“I don’t know why, or how,” Brennan rasps, “I don’t know who was there with him in the end, if Mira and Violet got to say goodbye, if my mother…” he can’t finish the sentence, words cut with shaking breaths. He loses the strength to hold himself up, collapsing into your embrace. “I should be there,” he sniffles, “I should have been there.”
“I know how much you love him. He knew too, I’m sure he did. They all do.” You hold him tighter, stroking his hair. “The girls are strong. They will mourn, but they will get through it together.”
He’s run out of tears, leaving him with a headache and a hollow feeling in his chest. He eventually relaxes, not saying a word as you smooth down the soft waves of his hair, pressing a kiss to the top of his head. He’s fallen asleep. You just hope his dreams will be kind to him.
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“Enough,” you command, and all heads turn toward you. “I will not have you disrespect Riorson nor his partner in his own home. Have you forgotten what he has done for our young?”
Ulices stiffens. “My apologies, Lady.” He says the title with an ounce of venom, but yields, returning to his seat.
Violet continues to study you. You’re dressed simply, head to toe rider’s black mixed with traditional Tyrrish leather armor and intricate braids that she has only seen drawn in history books, but it’s obvious in your posture that you’re nobility - you do not dip your head below the horizon even for a moment, and you speak with the confidence that others will listen.
“We have better things to do than argue about what should have happened. There is no turning back time,” you say calmly. “I agree that we have been given a legion of students rather than trained warriors, but it has become our job to train them.”
Brennan speaks next. He’s been silent since the meeting started. “What professors have joined us should resume modified versions of their courses, and we will fill in the gaps. Match up those with similar signets for mentorship. Emeterrio can continue to lead combat training, and Devera Battle Brief. Kaori has not joined us, but I think there is an obvious replacement.”
You’re saddened by the news, but you smile softly at his praise. 
Violet realizes that the scribbled amendments in the dragons section of Brennan’s book weren’t Mira’s, but yours. You’ve been close for years, then. You must have brought him here with you when you deserted. Part of her wonders if you’d attended Basgiath because you wanted to, or as a spy.
“Do not question the royal one’s integrity,” Tairn warns her, but does not elaborate further.
“The riot has decided that everyone here can be trusted,” you state. “And if anyone turns out not to be, we will do what we have to do, without hesitation, for the good of the movement.”
There’s sounds of agreement from the other six, and then the meeting is over.
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“Hey,” he says softly, leaning against the doorframe, clutching a bloodied rag to his face.
“What the hell happened to you?”
“Mira’s fist happened,” he explains, lifting it, and you wince at the sight of his nose, the bridge split and bruising. “I’ll be fine in a day or two.”
Your heart twists. Brennan hasn’t been able to see his sisters for nearly a decade, spending the last six years in hiding and the two before that stationed across the continent with hardly enough leave to travel back and forth to Basgiath. For Mira to have punched him straight in the face instead of the tearful hug he’d dreamed of… it must have crushed him.
You press a gentle kiss to his cheek, careful not to bump his nose. “I’ll talk to her,” you say softly. “Go see the healers.”
You’ve only met the middle Sorrengail in passing, nearly ten years ago now, but she’s exactly as Brennan had described her; a younger version of their mother, and just as strong-willed. Evidently, she remembers you, scowling and crossing her arms at the sight of you, but still standing at attention — there’s no missing the Major’s insignia on your chest. Violet stands as well, but doesn’t look as sour as her sister. 
You wave a hand. “At ease. I am not here to issue orders, rather to talk about your brother.”
Mira prickles, Violet looking concerned.
You choose your words carefully. “I do not expect either of you to forgive him overnight, nor for you to forgive me for my complacency in this matter. All I ask is that you show him some compassion. It has been hard for him too, being apart from his family. When your father-”
“That is not a sentence you should finish,” Mira interrupts.
“Mira,” Violet scolds softly, “be nice.”
“No,” she snaps, “I don’t think you understand. We mourned him. We called him a hero, thought he died honorably in battle when he really just deserted and changed his name.”
“He did die,” you say, and the eyes of both women flit back toward you. You look over your shoulder. “He bled out on the floor of that ballroom, and his heart stopped. Our friend siphoned away his life to save him.”
“Tairn’s previous rider,” Violet says in a whisper, as if the dragon will not hear her that way.
“Yes. Naolin.” You say his name with a heavy voice. No wonder Tairn won’t speak to her of the one who came before. That explains the gruff dragon’s defense of you, too.
Mira is silent, likely feeling guilt over her outburst as she realizes her brother still lives in the house he’d been killed in, with the son of the man who had ended his life.
“The elders gave him the name Aisereigh — meaning resurrected — as a layer of protection from those who hold vendettas against your mother. It hurt him to take it, and to not be able to give me the Sorrengail name, but it was necessary for his survival.”
Violet’s eyes land on the band circling your ring finger, a smooth strip of silver carved with Tyrrish runes. Brennan had worn a matching one when she’d seen him the day after War Games, but she hadn’t thought anything of it until now. “You’re married.”
You nod. “Three years ago, right on that bluff at the top of the valley, on a gorgeous summer day. Both of us wish those he loves most could have been there.” 
“Thank you,” Violet says quietly, “for staying with him through it all.”
“I have been by his side since our first year at Basgiath, and I will remain there as long as we shall live, as I have vowed to,” you reply with the same blunt conviction that she’s used to from Xaden — that must be a Tyrrish thing. “Now please excuse me. I have a class to teach in a few minutes.”
Mira lowers her head to you in a gesture of respect. “I’m sorry,” she says, but she does not say what for.
You give her a soft smile in return, heading back into the house.
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“Major Aisereigh will be taking over your dragonkind course, as Professor Kaori did not elect to join us here,” Professor Devera announces.
It’s strange to be standing on the dais as an equal with the woman who’d had a hand in kidnapping you from Brennan’s bed to torture you eight years ago, but nearly everything about your life since that night has been strange.
“I don’t know precisely what Kaori did and did not cover thus far in the term, but given that every person in this room has managed to bond a dragon, you are clearly proficient, and I will treat you as such,” you begin. “Dragons are independent, often to a fault, but do not forget that your health depends on theirs. As riders, you must learn how to care for them properly. That’s what we will be focusing on for the remainder of the term, along with flight mechanics and keeping your seat under stress.”
You glance at Brennan, who is sitting incognito in the back row, broken nose now mended, and he nods, an easy smile on his face. You’re doing great.
The lesson passes easily, your students much more engaged than you remember your peers having been in Professor Kaori’s class. 
“I will be needing volunteers to help with the maintenance of the riot while they’re grounded.”
At least thirty hands shoot straight up — half the class.
The trek up the valley wall is never easy, but you make winded conversation with several of the volunteers, mainly nervous first-years who confide that they need the extra practice.
You stop at the top of the trail, cupping a hand to your mouth and calling out a few short notes, and Banrion is at your side in seconds, shaking the ground with her landing. At least a dozen others land nearby, sitting upright in waiting. 
“You’ve brought children,” she appraises, eyeing them with distaste.
“Cadets,” you correct, “that you will be helping me teach. So be nice.”
She chuffs softly. “Fine.”
“I have chosen some more agreeable members of the riot to aid me today, to ease you into their care, but let me make this clear,” you say to the class, who have retreated to give you and Ban a healthy distance. “the majority still find it deeply offensive to be addressed by a human that is not their rider. Unless your bonded has joined us today, please refrain from speaking to any directly.”
You wait for nods of affirmation. “Banrion and I will demonstrate pre-flight checks once, and then you will split into groups of two or three to do the same with the remainder here.”
Once you get everyone settled, you find Brennan — he’d tagged along quietly, not wanting to part ways after the morning’s chaos.
“Well done, Professor,” he says, smiling. “You just might make this a day job.”
You laugh. “Is this everything twenty-year-old Bren thought it would be?”
“It is,” he says quietly. “And more.”
You gaze out at the field of cadets. “Marked and unmarked, living in harmony.”
Brennan squeezes your hand in acknowledgment, remembering how scared you had been when the first marked ones left for Basgiath, and each year since. It had hurt you deeply when not all of them returned. 
Tairn stalks up to you, dipping his head in greeting. “Good to see you again, royal one.”
You smile. “Glad you’re still around, big guy. You have made an excellent choice in Violet. How is the golden one?”
“Still dreamless,” he answers, not deigning to reply to your compliment. 
You worry your lip between your teeth, concerned. 
He casts a glance around at the young cadets in the vale, who are taking their tasks very seriously. “You remain as revered a leader as you were at Basgiath.”
You’re actually touched, but you won’t dare mention that to Tairn.
“It is not an easy feat to raise young,” a green scorpiontail says in agreement, looking down fondly at the first-years that are inspecting her claws for cracks, “but the two of you are doing a fine job.”
You smile. “And how are your young?”
“Safe,” she answers. “You may come see them after dark.”
“It would be an honor.”
“Professor?” A cadet calls from across the field, sounding mildly concerned.
You pull apart from Brennan reluctantly. “Duty calls. I’ll see you tonight.”
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“Kiss for your thoughts?” you ask playfully, seeing the weary look on his face. It’s been a long day for him, with multiple arguments among the assembly and all the emotions of reuniting with Mira.
“I have both of my sisters back,” he breathes, still in disbelief. “I thought I’d never see them again.”
You lay a hand on his back, resting your head on his shoulder. “I spoke with them before class. Mira was particularly upset, but she softened when I told her what really happened.”
He’s quiet. “She has every right to hate me for what I did. She should despise me for the rest of my life.”
“But she doesn’t,” you remind him gently. “She holds anger, but she doesn’t hate you. You’re her brother, and she knows you love her. You wrote her an entire textbook on how to survive the rider’s quadrant. If that isn’t testament enough, I don't know what is.”
He shakes his head, smiling softly. “How do you always know the right thing to say?”
You grin, moving to climb into his lap. “Because I know you, and I know exactly what goes on in that beautiful brain of yours.”
“Yeah?” he asks, nose brushing against yours, a ringed hand settling on your waist. “What am I thinking about right now?”
“Hmm. Probably about how long of a day it’s been, and how you’d like to unwind after all of it?”
“You’re absolutely right,” he says. “I’ll take that kiss now.”
You lean forward, connecting your lips to his, and the rest of the world falls silent, melting away until all that’s left is you, your husband, and the love you share, love that has endured death itself.
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lilasamaaa · 14 days
Text
Miss missing you | Charles Leclerc x Reader
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Genres | Angst, Hurt.
Word count | 2.1K
Warnings | Breakup, depressing thoughts, mentions of cheating.
Summary | Reader wakes up the day after her breakup with Charles and reflects on their relationship. Inspired by the song "Miss Missing You" by Fall Out Boy. Author's note | Sorry for being criminally addicted to writing sad things.
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Don't panic, no, not yet
The living room shutter is closed. Impenetrable.
She has no idea how long she's been like this, slumped on her couch in the dark, her face irritated by the relentless assault of her tears. Outside, she knows life has gone on without her. She suspects the sun has risen, like every morning. That darkness has given way to light, like every morning. She even heard her neighbors in the hallway, heading to work. Like every morning.
Taking a deep breath, she feels her heart and throat tighten, tears doubling. She didn't even know she had that much water in her body. It's not just an ordinary morning. It's the first of many mornings where she will wake up with her heart in pieces.
I know I'm the one you want to forget
She remembers, a few years ago, listening to Taylor Swift's "Mr. Perfectly Fine" for days on a row. She remembers cursing Joe Jonas, she even remembers feeling so sorry for Taylor. What kind of guy breaks up with his girlfriend over the phone?
Well, Charles, apparently.
She's not stupid, not blind, not even a little naive.
She had felt it coming. Had noticed him slowly drifting away. The calls were less frequent, and the ones she managed to intercept, shorter. She knows there was someone else. Maybe multiple someones. They'd somehow stopped talking about him, about her, about them. They only talked about races, cars, airplane trips. That's the only thing that seemed to keep them together. The only thing that had brought them together in the first place. She, the daughter of the CEO of one of Ferrari's sponsors. Him, the one who wore the suit with the logo printed on it.
Cue all the love to leave my heart, It's time for me to fall apart
She wished her heart would close. She wished she could block his access to it. She wished she could reclaim it, as one might retrieve the keys to an apartment once shared. But that bastard remains wide open. It's almost embarrassing, the way her heart, cruelly empty, hopes to be filled again. To feel his warmth once more. To beat for him again.
Her mind has stopped functioning, but her heart, somehow, hasn't stopped. It keeps beating, selfishly. It keeps her alive. For what? To feel the hurt, the betrayal, the despair? Honestly, it's not worth the effort. The poor thing should have just stopped.
Now you're gone, but I'll be okay, Your hot whiskey eyes have fanned the flame
She's young. She's had flings, but she's always been the one to end them. Charles was her first serious relationship. The only significant one, actually. She didn't think the pain would be so raw, so physical. She feels like she can sense her heart crumbling a little more each time she thinks of him. She feels it in her chest, swelling, taking up space, trying to escape. It wants to leave her body. To break free from this darkened, wounded brain that suffocates it.
She's not against the idea. It can leave. She can function without it. She's almost convinced of it, if that's what it takes to feel alive again. To feel like her again.
Maybe I'll burn a little brighter tonight, Let the fire breathe me back to life
Her heart isn't the first to be broken. Won't be the last.
She's heard stories from friends, from close ones, who've gone through breakups. Today, she feels so foolish for feeling so little concern about those stories back then. She's always been a listening ear, an unwavering support. She's sat in bars, cafés, bedrooms, listening to stories of betrayal and broken promises, and she simply didn't believe it would ever happen to her. As if she were above the laws. Above all that. She remembers listening to tales of broken hearts like children listen to myths of dragons, of wizards, of magic.
That's what it was for her. Fantasy. Something so unreal, so inconceivable.
Even though it hurts, she has sworn to let herself feel everything. The good as well as the bad. She knows that one day, she will look back on this period of her life, and she won't be overwhelmed by sorrow and pain anymore. But today, she has to go through it, let the flames lick her body to better heal her wounds later.
Baby you were my picket fence, I miss missing you, now and then
She'd never introduced a boyfriend to her family. Never envisioned a future with anyone. Never looked at houses with anyone. But with him, she did. A few months ago, while strolling on the hills of Monaco, she'd passed by a gate behind which a stone path led to a discreet little house. She'd fallen in love with the garden bordered by trees and flowers. She'd liked the color of the gate surrounding the property. She'd even found charm in the slightly crooked chimney protruding from the roof. She'd taken a photo of the "For Sale" sign and sent it to Charles. He had responded with a series of emojis (a face with hearts for eyes, sparkles, a star, the rest she can't remember). He had promised to call to set up a visit.
She would never walk down the stone path.
Chlorine kissed, summer skin, I miss missing you, now and then
She's never been drawn to wealth. She was born into it. Penthouses, luxury cars, diamonds hold no charm in her eyes. She's always been searching for more authentic, more simple things.
One summer when Charles had suggested a yacht outing, the lovers had ended up on a poorly patched-up rowboat that was taking on water. The monacan had complained all afternoon, but she still remembers the sensation of lying against him, against his warm, salty skin, alone in the world in their small boat. A feeling that no amount of money could ever buy. A feeling that no amount of money could ever get her back.
Sometimes before it gets better, The darkness gets bigger
What had begun as sweet and innocent had taken a turn.
Times were tough. His job was demanding. Exhausting. She did her best to support him, to show him he could lean on her anytime he needed. He wouldn't talk. Little by little, she was abandoning more and more things from her daily life to dedicate herself to his. His stability. His success. His worries. Sometimes, she felt like she was losing herself, but she knew it was temporary. She thought she would soon get the old Charles back. Even when he started going out late. Even when he started coming home late. Even when he started not coming home at all.
The endless suffering hadn't brought her anything. In fact, it had taken everything from her.
The person that you'd take a bullet for, Is behind the trigger
She knew the signs, had seen them in her own parents. When they ate together, he could go through the entire meal without meeting her gaze. When she placed her hands on his body, he would sometimes shiver. Not the shiver of anticipation from the early days. The kind that suggested he didn't deserve the display of affection.
Her own friends seemed oblivious to the situation. "I ran into Charles yesterday, at the club," "I saw Charles in town with a friend", "Aren't you with Charles today?". Were they trying to pretend everything was fine to protect her? Or were they already distancing themselves from a situation they didn't want to witness?
Oh, we're fading fast, I miss missing you, now and then
She pinpointed the breaking point as her sister's wedding. How ironic, she'd thought. Celebrating love, respect, and unity when I feel none of these things in my own relationship. Charles had arrived late, his hair disheveled, tie slightly askew. She had felt tears burning behind her eyes, had bitten her cheek to hold back from exploding in the middle of the church. She refused to believe that he had done that to her. That he had disrespected her on this day, in this place. Her entire family had cast a glance in her direction, had observed the way Charles had slipped between the guests to sit next to her. Without a glance. Without a touch. Her sister, speech in hand, had taken a few seconds to start. "With you by my side, I know I can face anything," she had started saying to her husband, letting her eyes meet the teary ones of her little sister.
Making eyes at this husk, around my heart, I see through you and we're sitting in the dark
He told her everything, recounted everything to her. From what he felt in the car during a race to his latest argument with his brother. She read him like an open book, could anticipate every word, every gesture, every thought, even. To joke around, she often said she knew him better than she knew herself. Upon reflection, they got together when they were eighteen. Had she even had time to get to know herself, or had she cowardly built herself around him?
The idea of pursuing her life's journey without him terrified her. She didn't know who she was, who she wanted to be. She didn't even know if she liked herself. She sometimes wondered if he knew her as well as she knew him. If he knew her favorite color, her favorite song, her favorite season. She always ended up pushing those somber thoughts away, reminding herself that these concerns were those of a schoolgirl, and got back to her duties. To taking care of him.
So give me your filth, make it rough, Let me, let me, trash your love
She was gentle, with a calm nature, almost maternal.
She never lost her composure, never raised her voice. But she had yelled that day. When they arrived home after the church ceremony. She would never forget, and he probably wouldn't either, how her voice had broken when she had shouted three words, three little words that had been enough to shatter everything. "Who is she?".
She, who admired him so much, who thought of him as a man of the purest and most sincere nature. She had given him a chance to repent. He hadn't seized it, hanging his head low. That day, facing her anger, the pain of a betrayed woman, she'd found him so small that he was almost ridiculous. He hadn't responded, of course. Hadn't said a word.
I will sing to you everyday, If it will take away the pain
She'd stayed. She wasn't sure if love made her do it. Perhaps it was out of habit. Or masochism. But she had stayed, and life had resumed just as it was before, for a few weeks. They had started waking up side by side again, sharing their day over a meal again.
Making love, again. She hadn't even realized they had stopped touching each other, desiring each other. How long had it lasted? A week? A month? Six?
He played the piano in the evening, proclaiming a love strong and indestructible over the keys, letting his fingers glide from white to black, filling the apartment with sounds and colors that had disappeared. Of feelings that had disappeared.
Oh, and I heard you've got it, got it so bad, 'Cause I am the best you'll ever have
She had let herself dream of the life before.
A life where Charles had only touched her, only tasted her. A life where she didn't discreetly grab his phone every night when his breathing indicated he was asleep. A life where she didn't send messages to Carlos at all hours of the day and night to find out where he was, with whom he was when she wasn't there. A life where her sister didn't regularly tell her how worried she was about her, finding her too thin, too stressed, too distracted.
So, she had left. She had left the spare keys he had given her on the dining table. She had fled his apartment and returned to hers, the one she had just planned on returning the keys to the owner, ready to move in permanently with him. She had spent three days alone, spending entire days in the dark. Ignoring the messages and calls of her mother, her father, her sister. Carlos, too.
Baby you were my picket fence,
By the end of the third day, he had finally called, and after three rings, she had picked up.
Neither of them had spoken for several seconds.
Then, he had done it. For the first time in months, he had been honest with her.
"It's not working anymore," he had sighed into the phone. "I can't do it anymore."
She had hung up.
Lain down on the sofa.
Waited for the day to save her from the night.
I miss missing you, now and then,
Now and then.
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