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#yoongi x reader fluff
yoonlattesworld · 1 year
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Escapism-MYG
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Synopsis: how naive were you to think you found the one when it was so obvious that he was making a fool of you. But you weren't gonna sit around and mope while he's having fun with your so called best friend. Good thing a certain someone was more than happy to help you out. And it made you wonder that if you had chosen him since the very beginning, would you have not gotten hurt?
Genre/ warnings: romance, angst, smut, raw sex, cheating, getting revenge on douche ex, misogyny,ex's enemy au, mob boss yoongi, making out, grinding, body worshipping, panty sniffing,oral(f receiving) vagina sniffing,love making.
Mob boss yoongi x reader
Yoongi masterlist
Main masterlist
Author's pov
A little context if you care to listen
I found myself in a shit position
"we need to talk"
All the excitement that you had about finally having a date with your loving boyfriend after weeks, drained the moment those words left his lips.
Although you did sense that something was wrong the moment he showed up at your house rather than the designated meeting spot which was the restaurant in which you had your first date. Still, you didn't let yourself think about negative thoughts as you gave him a nod with a small smile.
He didn't return the smile.
You followed him to your living room all ready and dressed up for the date night. A little part of you still thinking that you both would be going to the restaurant as planned after the talk.
How naive.
"what's up?" you hoped the nervousnsess didn't showed in your voice as you sat on the other end of the couch now suddenly aware of the huge distance between you both "jihyeok?-" "it was a mistake" now along with nervousnsess you were also feeling very confused as you looked at him with raised eyebrows. "what was a mistake?" your gut feeling told you that you wouldn't like the answer.
And it was right.
"look" he sighed rubbing his face with his hands with a tight jaw as you silently looked at him with a sick feeling bubbling inside you "can you please tell me what did you do?-" "i-i slept with Ina" for a second your face went blank. Truly because your brain hadn't registered his words because they didn't make any sense. Him, your boyfriend having sex with your best friend ina-
No words came out of your mouth as you slowly processed the situation. Your face still blank and lips still parted as you looked down at your hands folded on your lap.
Everything he said next came out blurry because the only thing which was running inside your brain was him, your boyfriend of 2 years cheating on you with your best friend of 10 years. The one you met when you were 14 and the one who stayed by your side with every step of life.
"I was drunk-" excuse "it was an accident-" excuse "she threw herself on me-" more excuses "you were always busy and she was just there-" god you were so tired of hearing his voice "and it was your fault too, if you weren't so busy-" "can you shut your mouth? I don't really want to hear your voice" his eyes widened in surprise when your blank ones met his. The audacity is so amusing.
You stood up, dusting off the imaginary dust off your dress before looking at him. He was still frozen with his mouth agape. You scoffed rolling your eyes as you looked away from him. God you can't believe it. How did you waste two years of your life with this piece of shit?
A part of you wanted to hear him. Just to see if he feels a little bit of regret for his actions. But another part of you tells you there is no use. He has already blamed you like it was your fault he had to cheat so what's the use of hearing his useless words?
"get out" if he looked surprised before then you don't know what he's feeling right now as he looked at you with his mouth ajar "w-what-" guess he expected you to act differently. You sighed rubbing your forehead at the forming headache. How in the world can someone be so stupid? Now that you think about it, the signs were so clear.
"jihyeok" he looked at you with what you recognised as hope. Stupid, so stupid. "get out of my house" you watched the hope shatter into small pieces just like your heart did. Instead, his jaw tightened and his eyes started showing anger as he stood up as well "what? You're just gonna throw 2 years away over a single mistake?" he has to be joking. Shaking your head you crossed your arms over your chest, tilting your chin up "do you really want to do this right now?" it was a small warning. But you forgot he was stupid enough to not understand.
He scoffed shoving his hands in his pockets as he stared at you smugly "don't pretend like I'm the only one at fault y/n. You're as much guilty as I am. It was just an accident and if you weren't always so busy then it wouldn't have happened-" "your dick went inside her by accident? I didn't know something like that can happen by accident, ji. What? Did you slipped or something?" his face redenned as he stuttered to find another excuse but you didn't let him continue.
"so you slept with my friend behind my back by accident because I was busy trying to make money to support your dreams. You shouldn't skip the important part baby" you stared at him with disappointment while your nails dug in your arms. No you won't show him your weakness. You won't cry. You can't cry.
He opened and closed his mouth like a gaping fish as he balled his fists "w-well-" "and I should add that every time I made time so we could spend it together, you were the one who called off every date last minute. Why? Because you would spend your free time playing games rather than being with me" you smirked when you realised he wasn't meeting your eyes. That's what you thought.
"now get out. And don't contact me again. Glad she was satisfied by your small friend" oops. That surely hit a sore spot.
The man that I love sat me down last night and he told me that it's over
Dumb decision
He looked at you with anger as he walked passed you, intentionally bumping into your shoulder as he made his way to the front door. But of course he just has to say something to repair his bruised ego.
"don't get so happy y/n. Just because you make more money doesn't mean you're superior to me. Remember, you were just a stress reliever. I lost feelings for you a long time ago. At least she understood me and wouldn't bitch around when it came to keeping the house clean" he smirked as you grew silent. Looks like he mistook your silence for hurt. "you can't even do most of the house work, of course a man would leave you for something better"
"jihyeok" "what?" the smug smile told you he expected you to apologise and crawl back. Poor him. "you're in no place to teach me how to be a woman. If you're such a man, why were you eating off your girlfriend's salary since the last year?" it was your turn to smile as you saw his face fall "and please don't call yourself a man. You're insulting the whole spieces" you winked as you raised your hand "also, just because she sucked your cock doesn't mean she'll support you. Good luck finding a job and paying the rent by yourself. And I also expect you to return me all the money I spent on your rent since the last year" you watched his eyes filling with fear and his hands shook as he stared at your hand which was holding up the middle finger "now get out"
~•~
The moment your door closed, your knees gave in. Your heart hurt. So much that you could physically feel it squeezing painfully as broken sobs spilled from your lips. You didn't let your tears fall when he was in front of you. No way in hell you would let him see you at your weakest. But now it was like a damn broke free as you struggled to breath. How can you be so stupid? You should have seen this coming a long time ago. All the lingering touches, the stolen glances, the time you found her in your apartment with him alone.
"we wanted to surprise you!" they both smiled brightly causing you to smile too.
But at that time you failed to notice that how did she knew that you were going home early that day. You smiled bitterly. They were just lucky that day.
You took a deep breath and wiped your face before standing up on shaky legs. You will not cry over him. No, you will never allow yourself to cry over the people who didn't deserve to be called humans. Ignoring your ringing phone you made your way to the kitchen and washed your face. The lighted screen told you who was calling
"ina💖"
You scoffed as you cut the call and blocked her number. You had no interest in listening to her excuses. You had a feeling they both were together right now.
A part of you wanted to cut them off from your life forever but another part of you wanted to hurt them just like they hurt you. It was worse that you knew just the best way to do that. It was even worse that you knew who would help you take your petty revenge.
Before you could stop yourself, your were already picking up your phone and dailing his number. Your hands shook as your thumb hovered over his name and his words rushed back to your mind.
"whatever you need, I'll do my best to make it happen. It won't matter how long I need to wait. Just say the word and it's done. I hope you'll give me another chance, doll"
Taking a deep breath you pressed the phone to your ear. Surprisingly, he picked up almost immediately and a warmth spread inside you when his deep voice hit your ears.
"I was waiting for you,doll" you looked down at your feet as you felt fresh tears filling your eyes and you hoped the small sniffle would go unnoticed by him. But of course it didn't. He noticed everything when it came to you. "you're crying?" you pictured him clenching his jaw as his voice took a dangerous tilt. One that used to scare you. You ignored his question as you took a shaky breath and whispered "does your offer still stand?" he was silent for a moment before breathing out "yes" you nodded even though he can't see it and sat on the chair of your dinning table "then will you let me use you?" you held your breath as you anticipated his answer and felt your body relaxing when he rasped "use me angel. Tell me what do I need to do"
"pretend you're in love with me" you whispered hearing a long exhale on the other side "don't need to pretend for that,doll" your heart started pounding as you looked down, again ignoring the flutter of your heart "pretend you're willing to die for me" "can't" your eyes widened ''why?" ''because I would die for you angel"
As your words died down in your throat, you wondered what would have happened if you had made different choices in the past.
"why can't you trust me?!" he panted as he gripped your shoulders. You looked up at him with pained eyes as you hoped he wouldn't notice your tears under the heavy rain. But of course he did. Breathing heavily he leaned his forehead against yours "what changed y/n?" a sob left your lips as you shaked your head, weakly pushing him "I'm still the same guy you fell for. And you're still the same girl I fell for" he whispered hoarsly as you gripped his suit jacket, pulling him closer until your lips were barely touching. You pressed your lips on his for a brief moment before another sob broke free from your throat as you whispered "I'm scared of you yoongi" that was the end of it. You saw him shatter in pieces and crumble in pain as you uttered those words.
If 3 years ago you had trusted him, forced yourself to trust him, then maybe your life would have been a lot different.
"what else doll" "don't kill him" "depends" his dry voice forced a small giggle out of you as you wiped your eyes but the smile soon died down when he asked "what did he do baby girl?" you almost didn't want to tell him because you knew he wouldn't be able to control his anger if he knew. But you have to tell him. "he cheated" the moment your small whisper reached his ears was the moment he saw red. His voice may seem calm but in his head, he was already thinking about the many ways he could torture the piece of shit. But of course you always knew how to calm him down "yoongi promise me you won't do anything" you heard him taking a deep breath before he grunted "what do you want me to do?" "can you find out where he is right now?" "that's easy. 'course I can"
Of course he can. Sometimes you forget who he is.
~•~
Now I don't wanna feel how my heart is ripping
Fact I don't wanna feel so I stick to sipping
And im out of the town with a simple mission
In my little black dress,And this shit is sittin
You met him outside the club as you both planned. Well he planned. He had sent a car for you because of course he wouldn't let you come alone when it as dark outside. He never took any risks when it came to you. And maybe you knew why. Maybe it was because you were the easiest way to threaten him.
You felt your breath catching in your throat when you saw him. Looking as handsome as he was 3 years ago. But maybe more mature. His hair longer and ridges rougher. You last saw him when he was 24 and you were 21. Now you're 24 and he is 27. "yoongi" you breathed as you stood in front of him. His eyes were soft as he took you in and your breath stuttered when you felt his hand gently holding your smaller one "hey doll" he mumbled softly as he leaned down and pressed a soft kiss on your forehead. Just like he used to.
You heart hurt when you think about the time you spent away from him. Even if you were in a relationship with jihyeok, a small part of you still belonged to him just like how he always belonged to you.
He didn't said anything more but his eyes did. They held so many different emotions as he kept staring at you intensely. "let's go"
You nodded and held his arm softly as you both started walking inside the famous club. He found out that your ex and ex best friend were both in here together. It may seem petty to make your ex jealous and regret his actions. But after spending almost your whole life trying to be considerate of others, you wanted to be petty. And yoongi had no problem with that. He still thinks you're being considerate to that shit head by not letting him make that fucker regret in his ways but he'll support you no matter what you do.
All eyes were on you both the moment you stepped inside the club. You can't blame them. You knew you both looked great. In the two years you saw yoongi twice. Both were the once when he couldn't help it. When he missed you too much. And both of those times you saw him in his three piece suit. Right now he looked lethally gorgeous in a leather jacket, ripped Jeans and chunky boots while you wore a sleeveless black dress which came to your mid thighs. Hair loose and heels high. Even through his jacket, you could feel the bulge of his gun pressing against your hips. But it didn't make you nervous.
It didn't take long to catch them, making out at the bar without a care in the world. Like they haven't betrayed the one person who loved them both genuinely. You could feel tears filling your eyes at the sight but yoongi cupped your face and made you look at him "don't forget what you're here for doll" you nodded as he wiped the single tear that managed to escape before leaning down to whisper "just say the word and I'll make them regret their whole lives" you slapped his chest as he smirked "shut up we aren't here to kill anyone" "whatever you want, doll" he drawled letting you pull him towards the dance floor.
You smiled up at him as his hands found their place on your hips which you swayed to the music. The multiple lights shown on his face as he pulled you closer until your hands were on his chest. And you knew that you had their attention when you felt a burning gaze on your back. Yoongi leaned down until his lips grazed your ear for which he was gifted with pleasant shiver "they're looking at us doll" he mumbled burying his face in your sweet smelling neck while your arms wrapped around his neck as you both moved with the music.
A surprised gasp left your lips when you felt his lips pressing a wet kiss on the sensitive skin of your neck "y-yoongi'' your eyes fell shut as you felt him pressing soft kisses on the same spot before sucking it softly. He hummed gravelly as he pressed a hand on your lower back and pulled you flushed against him causing your soft breasts to press against his firm chest. It didn't help that you weren't wearing a bra. "need to make him realise what he lost" he murmured as he bite the same spot gently causing a small moan to slip from your lips. "mm..yoongi" you sighed, your hands gripping his shoulders as you felt something hard pressing against your lower stomach.
Small twing of pleasure erupted your whole body, settling a fire on it's wake as you felt yourself getting wetter by the second until your panties were sticking to your womanhood and soft pants were leaving your lips. "fuck you smell so good" he groaned as your fingers tugged his hair,your back arching and your head leaned to the side, giving him more access to your neck.By now you had completely forgotten about your ex boyfriend and best friend glaring daggers at you as you both swayed to the music, bodies feeling hot like fire as heavy breathing and pants mingled together.
"shit" he breathed heavily as his hand gripped your neck and he pulled you closer until your lips were inches away from his "tell me doll" he rasped, gripping your thigh and pulling your right leg up until it was wrapped around his waist. You gasped, holding his wrist as you felt his hardness pressing straight against your cunt "who are you thinking about?" he mumbled, grinding against you causing soft moans to spill from your lips "are you thinking about him right now?" his voice held a tilt of possessiveness and darkness as his hold around your throat tightened a bit. You whimpered shaking your head as he pressed against you harder "n-not him" he nodded leaning his forehead against yours "then who?" "y-you" the moment those words left your lips, his lips crashed against yours.
And it wasn't a sweet or gentle kiss. It was rough and hard, filled with possessiveness and yearning as your teeth clashed together and tongues danced for dominance. But of course he won. He kissed you hard. Hard enough for your lips to feel numb and your pussy to gush as soft moans of his name left your lips like a chant while low growls and groans left his lips like he couldn't get enough of you.
"missed you so fucking much" he panted as he pulled back slightly, both of your lips red and bruised and hot breath mingling together. You opened your eyes to see him already looking at you and if your heart was pounding before, then right now it threatened to spill out of your chest as you whispered "yoongi" he hummed as he looked over your head and you saw his eyes narrowed "w-what's wrong?" you asked turning to look behind you but yoongi held the back of your head and pulled you to his chest with a grunt causing you to look at him confused "nothing's wrong angel. Tell me what were you gonna say?" he murmured pressing a kiss on your forehead and because your face was buried in his chest, you didn't notice him still looking at something at a distance. "umm" you whispered gripping his jacket "take me to your home?" you dared to peek up as he went silent and the look in his eyes caused you to whimper softly.
He chuckled darkly as his hand squeezed your hip before he murmured lowly "you're playing a very dangerous game kitten. Don't think you'll get to leave once we step in my house" you gulped down the nerves as you bite your bottom lip softly before pressing a soft kiss on his lips "I don't wanna leave" you saw his eyes darken which made you excited and nervous.
It was like nothing else mattered when you were standing in the middle of a crowded bar and gazing in his eyes as he trapped you in. The way he looked at you, the way he touched you, the way he held you, it made you wonder just why did you waste 2 years of your life with that trash bag. The guy that you loved with all your heart, gave him your everything, and what did you get in return? Getting cheated on and also getting the blame. And the girl who was supposed to be your one true friend, the one who was with you for so many points of life. You were mad at yourself for spending 3 years apart from him.
You were snapped out of your thoughts when someone suddenly pushed past you, causing you to stumble further in his embrace as he wrapped a protective arm around you and glared at the drunken woman. "you okay?" he cupped your face with one hand and you nodded placing your hand on his "can we go?" your voice was small as you said those words and he didn't said anything but nodded and wrapped an arm around your shoulder before pushing past the ocean of bodies.
You noticed he was glancing behind by his shoulder every now and then and his grip around you suddenly tightened just as you both stepped out of the club "yoongi" you squeezed his hand which was on your shoulder and he only hummed as he glanced by his shoulder again "is everything okay?" you looked at him worriedly and his eyes softened. You both stopped in front of his car and he cupped your face softly "everything is fine, angel. Don't worry about anything and sit inside. I need to make a call and make sure you lock the car yeah?" he mumbled giving you the key. Although you had a feeling that something was wrong, you trusted him enough to not question him. So nodding you took the key and sat in the car, nodding when he signalled you to lock the doors.
You sighed, watching him as he took his phone out and made a call. A few seconds later you saw two men arriving and although you couldn't hear their conversation, you knew it was something serious because yoongi looked a little angry as he talked with the two men. They said something before walking away and yoongi rounded the car while you unlocked the door. His cologne filled your senses as he opened the door and sat in with a sigh. "who were they?" you asked softly as he took off his jacket and laid it on your lap which you Silently thanked him for because you were freezing. "they work for me" he answered simply as he started the car and you nodded before looking down at your hands folded on your lap.
Your attention was caught by him when he suddenly placed a hand on your thigh and after a moment of hesitation, you kept your hand on his. The ride was silent until you reached his house. You realised he had moved places. As he parked the car in the underground parking lot, he rasped "last chance doll" you looked at him nervously as he took a slow exhale before turning to look at you "I won't let you leave once to step inside my place y/n. I can't let you leave again. I don't think I can handle it again" his jaw was tight as he said those words and you realised just how badly you hurt him. Taking a shaky breath you unbuckled your seat belt and leaned forward, letting his jacket fall as you pressed your lips on his "make me stay yoongi. Please don't let me leave" you whispered against his lips and the familiar darkness returned in his eyes. The one that made your legs weak and pussy gush.
The elevator ride to his pent house was silent but you were in his arms the whole time. It was like he couldn't keep his hands off of you. But the moment you entered the penthouse, his lips were on yours and his hands were on your body. You wrapped your arms around his neck as he kissed you hard. His hands groping whatever skin they could reach as low moans and whimpers filled the air. Breathing heavily, he gripped your thighs and picked you up effortlessly causing you to grip his shoulders with Soft moans as your lips danced against each other. You didn't notice him walking towards his bedroom because you were so lost in his lips. Only when he laid you on his bed and his scent filled your senses did you realised that you were in his personal space. But you didn't have time you look around in his room because he was above you on his knees no yanking of his t shirt.
You felt your cheeks warming up as his milky white skin came in your view. But along with his abs your eyes caught something else too. There were multiple scars on his abdomen. It seemed like he noticed the sadness in your eyes because he tilted your chin up and pulled you in a deep kiss. One which took your breath away. It was deep and sensual. Passionate and full of longing. "I'm fine doll. A little knife can't kill me" you stifled a small giggle as he winked at you before your eyes widened when he suddenly pulled you up on his lap.
You took his hand as he kissed you again and guided it towards the thin strips of your dress and he let out a low growl as he slowly pulled the strips down until the dress was hanging around your waist. Slowly, he pulled back and his eyes wandered down "fuck"he whispered as he took you in "so fucking beautiful" you looked at him shyly as he laid you down again and tapped your hips. You raised them and he took off the dress completely,leaving you in a pair of thin black panties which were soaking wet.
"so perfect" he whispered as he came down until he was kissing around your breasts "a fucking goddess" he took your nipple in his mouth, sucking it softly which had you arching your back while your fingers tangled in his hair and small gasps left your lips "letting me worship you" his hand massaged your breast, making sure to give them the same attention "can die a happy man now" he chuckled darkly as you moaned his name softly. Trailing his kisses downwards he pressed multiple kisses around your waist before pressing a small kiss on your panty covered womanhood.
He looked at you as he hooked his finger around the thin material and once you nodded, he pulled the panties down your legs while biting his lip. You gasped when he raised the ruined material to his nose and took a long sniff before letting out a long groan causing you to cover your face in embarrassment "don't fucking hide from me" he grunted gripping your hips and pulling you down until his face was buried in between your legs, causing you to squeal In surprise.
But before he touched your weeping cunt, he looked at you with what you found as jealousy and possessiveness "has that shit head ever eaten you out?" he murmured lowly as he kissed your inner thighs, leaving small marks behind "n-no" you gasped shakily, your fingers flying towards his hair "no? " his eyebrows furrowed and you nervously whispered "h-he said it was gross-" another dark chuckle cut you off and you looked down to see his face leaned against your thigh as he looked at you cockily "can't believe I let you date a fucking kid but" he smirked "that means I'm the first man who tastes you" it was the only thing you heard before he dived in like a man dying from starvation and you were his last meal.
A loud moan left your lips as he wrapped his around your clit, sucking and teasing it until it was swollen and red. His hands gripped your ass and pulled you in so close that you were scared that he might suffocate but it seemed like he had no problem as he lapped your pussy like a lollipop. Your back arched and your head pressed against the pillows as his tongue entered your pussy. You could only moan his name helplessly as he took turns in fucking you with tongue and sucking your clitoris. He was quite literally making out with your clit as he inhaled your intimate scent with a deep groan which caused you to feel the vibrations against your womanhood. Your legs locked around his head which yet again made you worried that you might suffocate him but as you went to move away from him, he gripped your thighs with a growl and pulled you in "don't fucking do that again" He pleasured you like it was his only way to salvation. Like he was dying and you were his last meal. It all became so much that you exploded a second later with a loud and long moan of his name. If you weren't so high on pleasure you would have been embarrassed at how loud you sounded because you never thought you could make such a sound.
He mumbled praises of how good you were doing as he made sure to lick every single drop you gave him. He pulled back with a proud smirk, watching as you came down from your High and climbed up towards you, his cock brushing against your sensitive folds. You opened your eyes to find him already looking at you and a shy smile made it's way to your lips "how was that? " he grinned causing you to whine "great" "I'm sure it was" he chuckled kissing your forehead "but I'm not done with you sweet girl" your eyes widened as he hovered over you and. You didn't even noticed when he took of his pants but you felt your eyes widening and core gushing as you saw the size of his cock. It was long and thick, standing tall and proud with his mushroom tip an angry red and pre cum already forming. Soft moan left your lips when his cock grinded against your womanhood "tell me to stop yeah? " he whispered and you nodded holding his shoulders with a deep breath.
Soon a gasp left your lips when you felt the tip of his cock entering you and he stopped immediately "You good? " he brushed your hair away from your face and you nodded whispering "be gentle please" he kissed your nose "I will angel" slowly, you felt him entering you which caused you to whimper in slight pain. He peppered your face with soft kisses to distract as he tried his best to not slam inside you.
Once he was buried inside you, he stilled to give you some time to adjust "take deep breaths for me doll" he mumbled and you nodded taking shaky breaths. A soft sigh left your lips when you felt the pain disappearing and nodded. He pressed his lips on yours as he bottomed out before pushing back in causing both of to moan simultaneously "o-oh yoongi" your back arched as he moved with long and deep thrusts, hitting every part of your womanhood and soon, his cock brushed against that sweet spot causing you to moan loudly "right here? " he gritted thrusting back in at the same angle again and again causing your eyes to roll at the back of your head.
You gripped his hand with a soft whimper and he held it immediately beside your head. You cupped his face as he leaned his head against yours and you whispered "I missed you so much" his jaw clenched and his thrusts got harder and more powerful as he buried his face in your neck "you have no fucking idea how many times I almost knocked on your door. Almost called you dammit" you whimpered as you felt your high approaching rapidly once again and tears ran down your face as you sobbed "I'm so sorry. I never wanted to hurt you" his eyes hardened at the sight of you crying and he crushed his lips on yours "it doesn't matter anymore. You're here with me. I don't need anything else" he never blamed you for leaving him. You both loved each 3 years ago but you had no idea who he was. To you he was the son of a wealthy business man. But the day you were going to confess, you saw him at His worst. You saw him killing someone. When you told him you were scared of him, he wanted to kill himself. He was mad at himself for falling for you. For allowing such feelings. But when you left him, he was willing to wait however long you wanted him too.
"fuck y/n" he breathed heavily as you pulled him in a soft kiss and you felt your high wash over you as he kissed you deeply, his own High washing over him. He rided you both out of your highs before falling on top of you and you wrapped your arms around him tightly as he buried his face in your sweaty chest.
After a few seconds of heavy breathing, you whispered "yoongi" he hummed snuggling deeper "you remember when I called you, you said you were waiting for me.. What did that mean?" you felt him smile against your skin as his hold around you tightened "it means that I've been waiting for you since 3 years, doll. Because I knew that one day, we'd meet again. So the wait was worth it" "and what if I hadn't called? " he hummed "then I would have waited and waited until you did" "why? " "because I'm so in love with you that waiting for you seemed easier than trying to forget you"
~•~
As you laid naked under the covers, yoongi stood by the bed with a towel wrapped around his waist as he listened to his right hand man talk "the guys belonged to Lee. They somehow came to know that you would be at the club. I've taken care of them but boss.. " yoongi hummed as he pulled the covers over your body properly "the same guys had been following y/n since a few weeks. They somehow caught our men following her and Lee found out that you've been secretly keeping an eye on her. They wanted to use her to-" "threaten me" yoongi chucked darkly as his movements stilled "fucking shit head" he snarled as he walked out of the room as to not wake you up "you know what you need to do namjoon. Bring him to me alive"
~•~
"what are you doing? " you flinched and turned around sheepishly as yoongi raised an eyebrow. He was shirtless in only some grey sweatpants as he folded his arms over his chest, looking at the mess all around the kitchen "w-well" you laughed nervously "i-i wanted to make you breakfast but I didn't realise I messed up your kitchen" yoongi nodded as he looked at the dinning table filled with breakfast and coffee "I'm so sorry I'll clean it up-" "you don't need to" you blinked as he pulled you to the table and made you sit on his lap "I pay people to clean my house. Surely they can do it. Now let me taste my girl's cooking" you looked at him surprised while he calmly ate his pancakes "you don't mind the mess i made? " "why would I? " he shrugged "the food is great" he kissed your head and fed you too.
"you can cook whenever you want. I love your cooking. Just be careful to not hurt yourself. You cook, I'll clean" you giggled kissing his nose "I think I kinda like you" he grinned tickling your waist "well thank god because I think I like you too"
Taglist
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persphonesorchid · 1 year
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Auburn Skies - MYG
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Summary:  Everyone knows that if your best friend has a little sister, she's off limits. That, and the fact that your best friend will probably kill you if you even think about going near his sister. Yoongi knows this. There's no way he could tell Namjoon that once upon a time you kissed him, drunk in his living room after a break up. So much time's passed since then, too much time to bring it up now, but Yoongi still thinks about it, he's still a little hopeful. Now you're here at the lake house because Namjoon brought you and you clearly have something you want to say to Yoongi. 
Namjoon's gonna kill him.
Genre: 18+, fluff, angst, humor.
Word count: 12k
Warning(s): 18+, smut, oral (m+f receiving) unprotected sex, porn is mentioned. Yoongi and Y/n are BOTH stupid and they need help. Taehyung's trying his best, Seokjin is also trying his best but subtler. Yoongi's convinced that Namjoon's out to get him at every turn. Slight jealousy. Y/n and Yoongi have no idea how to actually hold a conversation like adults, until they do.
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Notes: My addition to the Autumn Leaves Collab, hosted by the beautiful @bangtansmauyeondan !! I had so much fun working on this, and I met so many beautiful people that I'm so grateful for, so happy to call my friends 🥺 I love y'all! Please check out the other authors' fics on the Collab Masterlist! Everyone worked so hard, give my girls some love! Shout out to @blog-name-idk and @xpeachesncream for being absolute aNGELS, beta reading and helping me out when I panicked over this lol, and @madbutgloriouspond for helping me brainstorm. I hope you guys enjoy!! Please leave feedback, I'm nothing but a poor soul seeking validation (and motivation!) to keep going.
If you like my content, please, consider donating if you're able - Here
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"You're staring." Seokjin nudges Yoongi's arm with his, snapping him out of his daze. He catches Seokjin's smirk, and there's a twinkle in his eye that promises nothing good. Yoongi pulls his eyes away from your form, sitting in a chair on the dock away from everyone else with a book in your hand. You're bundled up in a thick sweater and cozy sweatpants, completely lost in your book.
"Was not." Yoongi feels the need to deny it, distracting himself with cutting up onions, focusing on the way the blade of the knife cuts through the vegetable and definitely not the way Seokjin was wiggling his eyebrows at him.
"Sure. I believe you."
Somewhere inside, there is music playing. A Lo-Fi beat that plays softly under the sound of rain. It's kind of sad, if Yoongi is being honest, but he supposes that autumn is a sad season. Nothing but changes all around. The leaves change colours, mixing like paint on an easel in the hands of a melancholy artist drowning in his own solitude. They shift and the vibrancy of summer fades until they die, falling off their homes to go drifting in the wind, or land on the ground to become everyone's problem.
He doesn't really like autumn, when winter is right around the corner and he can feel the cold seeping into his bones no matter how many layers he wears. Always leaving his cheeks and his nose red, and his fingers hurting when the chill gets to them.
You enjoy it though, even reminded him when he picked up you and Namjoon this morning. You were kicking at the pile of leaves in front of Namjoon's apartment complex like a kid, laughing like you didn't have a worry in the world. You greeted him like you hadn't seen him in years, running up to him with Namjoon's scarf wrapped awkwardly around your neck like you were in a rush.
Namjoon is currently skipping stones with Jungkook near the lake's edge, and Yoongi can see he's halfway to giving up because Jungkook is on his competitive streak again.
Namjoon is one of his closest friends. He met him in college when they were both fresh out of highschool and riding on shotgun dreams of being more than what they are. He remembers meeting you during spring break of his junior year, and you were blabbering about getting accepted into the same college as Namjoon; determined to follow your brother to the end of time.
The only word to describe your first meeting was awkward, to say the least. He'd only ever heard of you, with Namjoon going off about you whenever Yoongi lent his ear. His baby sister who was doing so well in school, his baby sister, who to Namjoon, practically hung the moon in the sky. Now, Yoongi thinks he's naturally awkward when meeting new people, he can't help it. Getting to know someone is hard no matter how much you hear about them, even though you've got a pretty good impression just by word of mouth. There were shy 'hi's' and the most soul crushing 'See you later's' when there's little to no chance of ever seeing that person again. Sweaty, nervous hands meeting in shakes and straight lipped smiles.
Now, Yoongi was sure he wasn't too bad at it. And you were good, smiling brightly, not looking as awkward as he felt. What was awkward was the way Namjoon had excused himself to his parent's kitchen, pretending to get a glass of water. Yoongi had followed him with his eyes, because why was he leaving him standing in front of his sister alone?
Yoongi still remembers the chill that went down his spine that morning, as Namjoon watched him dead in the eyes over your head. A look Yoongi had never once received from him before, one that simply said: "If you think anything about my sister that isn't innocent; you will die."
As a best friend, Yoongi respected that. As a man, Yoongi valued his life. He wouldn't dare. It's the code, do not, under any circumstances, think about your best friend's sister romantically or less. You were off limits from the day Namjoon showed Yoongi that picture of you.
Off limits.
Yoongi heard that loud and clear and Namjoon hadn't said a word that day.
You were off limits, still, when you'd called him at ass o'clock in the morning - not Namjoon, your brother who trusted with everything - about some smarmy asshole who thought it was funny to break your heart. When he picked you up outside a bar where you were supposed to meet your boyfriend of a year, standing in the rain, soaked to the bone, crying and slightly drunk.
Looking beautiful even when you had stumbled your way to his car, asking what did you do to deserve getting cheated on. He didn't answer you then, he had too much to say and it wasn't the time, not when you were drunk and wouldn't remember a thing when the sun came up. So he cranked up the heat in his car, and white knuckled the steering wheel the whole drive to his apartment, because yours was too far and it was late.
Off the whole damn table, when you'd kissed him on the mouth, still drunk, still crying and clinging onto him in his living room. He pushed you gently away, even as he licked his lips to chase the taste of you. Keeping the distance between you both wide as he watched you shatter like glass in his hold. You apologized through your sobs, and Yoongi's own heart broke as he tried and failed to pick up the pieces of yours scattered at your feet.
You asked him not to tell Namjoon, and Yoongi never said a damn word. You slept in his bed that night, in his clothes that were way too big for you, and left the next day like nothing happened.
You're still off limits now, even as you've grown up and are going into your senior year. Now that Yoongi finished college and had a job like a responsible adult, now his biggest worry is the price of bread climbing up and whatever the hell was on the news.
"Namjoon, we agreed that you weren't gonna come within 10ft of this space."
Yoongi looks up to find Namjoon wandering aimlessly towards them, holding a bowl of something in his hand. He stops dead in his tracks though, frowning, "I'm not that clumsy."
Yoongi and Seokjin share a look, before raising an eyebrow each at Namjoon. He sighs, lifting the bowl in his hand, "Hobi told me to tell you that Jungkook told him..."
"For Christ's sake..." Seokjin sighs, "Just get over here."
Namjoon grins like a kid, hobbling over to place the bowl next to Yoongi's busy hands. The bowl filled with slices of pork belly that Yoongi forgot he told Namjoon to fetch for him a long while ago. Too distracted to ask about it when he was skipping stones with Jungkook, he didn't even notice when he'd moved to get it.
He wonders what else he missed, lost in his own thoughts, and his eyes dart around to catch sight of you. Of course, you were no longer in the spot you'd claimed, now standing next to Jungkook. Both of you are laughing at Jimin, who was struggling to reach a branch of a tree that Jungkook could easily reach without stretching. You attempt it, jumping to reach, but you just don't make it and it's Jimin's turn to laugh, all crescent eyes and round cheeks.
At least someone's having fun.
Seokjin was mumbling something as he pokes at the coals in the grill, and Yoongi avoids looking at Namjoon because he realised he's staring again. He's awfully quiet, and Yoongi isn't sure if it's because of him, and he really doesn't want to risk his life here.
"'Autumn is the season that teaches us that change can be beautiful.'" Namjoon says, and Yoongi finds that he wasn't even looking his way. Instead, he was watching the lake with an odd look in his eyes, distant, like if he was thinking about something too hard and struggling to grasp it. At the same time though, he looked like he knew exactly what he was talking about; smiling to himself. He pats Yoongi cryptically on the back - a little forcefully - catching him off guard, and says nothing more as he walks away.
"We all know what it means when Joon starts quoting." Seokjin snickers, "You're so screwed."
Yoongi hums, and Seokjin gives him a knowing look, a look that says way more than what Yoongi is comfortable with, and he wonders, briefly, if he was being obvious, or if Seokjin was more observant than he gave him credit for.
"I hope the weather holds up." Seokjin mumbles, head tilted up and leaning slightly forward over the table to see past the awning above, he watches the sky with a small frown, "Said it was gonna rain sometime today."
Yoongi is grateful for the subject change, dumping the seasoning he chopped up into a bowl. He glances at the lake, at the reflection of the clouds on the water, they look a little gray with the promise of rain. He doesn't mind the rain, though, if it does, Taehyung's plan of sitting around the fire with marshmallows on a wire would be completely dashed.
Yoongi's not sure he could deal with the kid pouting all night because of it, and he hoped that the weather held up, too.
When lunch was ready, it was a little after two pm. The picnic table was clear of leaves that were raked to the side and into piles to deal with later. Hoseok finally crawled out of the bunk room, hair sticking up in odd angles and eyes sleepy still as he helped set the table with you and Jimin.
Yoongi walks over to the table with the small cooler he'd brought with him, packed full with ice and cans of beer, because what's lunch without it?
Seokjin walks behind, still prattling on about the weather, hoping for a little sunshine later on so he could get in the rowboat and swing his fishing rod around. He may have asked Yoongi if he wanted to come with him, but Yoongi was once again distracted; your soft laugh tunnelling his focus.
He sighs, internally, because God forbid anyone hears and starts asking invasive questions. Taehyung, of course, was clinging to you, not letting you move two spaces out of his orbit. Which of course, wasn't strange, Taehyung was just clingy that way; always stuck to someone like a kitten that hasn't yet learned to regulate its temperature.
The sight of it though, makes Yoongi's chest ache in a way that wasn't unfamiliar to him. The kind of ache that squeezes tight and knocks the air out of him, the ache he felt that night in his apartment living room when you kissed him. Thinking about it now makes the ache worse, because Yoongi knows what that kiss was, he knows what it meant and exactly where it came from. You were reeling that night, fresh out of a relationship that ended in a way you never saw coming, and that's where it came from. You were drunk, hurting, and attached yourself emotionally to the first person to treat you nicely.
It just happened to be Yoongi at the time.
He hates to think about it that way, as though it meant nothing when he wanted it to mean something. Yoongi likes to take things the way they came, there's nothing more than what it was, nothing to decipher or to sit and mull over. Not like he did that night, sitting up late on his couch, long after you'd passed out, then beating himself up about the whole thing because he was this close to laying his heart out at that moment.
He's glad he didn't. When you left the morning after, he wasn't even awake, woke up to his empty bed and quiet apartment. No note, no text - not that you owed him anything - so he left it as it was; unspoken.
He passes everyone a beer, avoiding your gaze when your hand brushes his, ignoring the soft smile on your lips that brightens your eyes and makes his chest hurt. He moves around the table and takes his seat in between Seokjin and Hoseok. He's sitting directly across from you, and to his rotten luck, Namjoon sits to your left, which puts Yoongi within his direct line of sight. He wonders if he'll be able to keep his eyes to himself, not get caught staring at you, even if your brother wasn't even paying him mind. Yoongi is cautious, still.
The chatter that fills the air is gentle, with laughs and catching up with each other. It was hard to find the time to do things like this, everyone was busy with their own schedules; the younger ones had school, the rest of them had work. Shit always get in the way.
Yoongi eyes Taehyung, who sits to your right and was poking at your arm more than he was eating. He had half a mind to tell Taehyung to quit it, the little devil on his shoulder telling him that he should; poking at his cheek and pointing. It isn't his place, though.
There's a twinkle in Taehyung's eye when their eyes meet, something mischievous that Yoongi would normally see from him when he was up to something. He turns slightly to you, whispering something to you with a hand covering the movement of his lips.
Yoongi's curious, he wonders what he's saying that makes your cheeks flush a pretty shade. Wonders what it is, when your eyes meet his for a second and you swat at Taehyung's hand. The younger man was clearly pleased with himself, smiling eyes meeting Yoongi's for a second too long, and Yoongi busies himself with stuffing his mouth with food.
"Think the water's cold?" Jungkook was looking out at the lake, doe eyes curious, his tongue absently fiddling with the ring in his lip.
"It's still early in the season..." Jimin answers, piling a spoonful of rice onto his plate, following Jungkook's gaze a moment after. "Wouldn't risk it though."
"I mean, you can if you want." Yoongi shrugs, "Just don't complain when you catch a cold."
Jungkook pouts, leaning his weight against Hoseok with a groan. Everyone knows Jungkook well enough to know that's exactly what he'd do, and then abuse his position as the youngest for the rest of their stay at the lake house.
The table was silent for a while, everyone occupied with stuffing their faces with the food, interrupted when Namjoon laughed at something Jimin said and choked on the rice in his mouth and is now nursing a bottle of water.
Yoongi missed this, just hanging out with his friends like they were back in college sneaking beer into the dorms and laughing over their drunken rambles. Just being.
Once lunch was over, they cleared the table of the bowls and plates, carrying everything inside to be washed up.
"I'll do the dishes," Hoseok says, balancing the large pot with plates and eating utensils in his hands.
"I'll do them, Hobi." Yoongi takes the pot from Hoseok's lax fingers, not giving him room to complain before he takes everything to the kitchen.
Yoongi misses the way Taehyung pokes your side, he did hear the smack of you hitting the offending limb, though. "I'll help you."
Yoongi feels his shoulders tense, and he tries to ignore it, setting the pot into the sink, while the boys place the other dirty dishes. He watches you for a moment, as you busy yourself packing away the seasoning and packets of spices back into their rightful places. He starts on the dishes, hyper aware of your presence somewhere behind him, but tries his best to keep it as far from the front of his mind as he could.
At some point, you switch places, and Yoongi takes up the task of drying the bowls and plates, packing them where they're supposed to be. He doesn't question it, just grateful to have something to do with his hands, mindful, to keep his head empty, because if his mind strays just a bit, he'll be thinking of things he really shouldn't. Off limit things. Like how he wished he'd just suck it up and kissed you back that night instead of pushing you away like he did. But, that would've been wrong of him, no? It wasn't the time and you weren't in the right frame of mind.
Yoongi skirts by you, packing the bowls back into the cupboard. This is awkward, maybe he should have let Hoseok do it when he said he would.
"Can I ask you something?" You suddenly ask, and Yoongi almost drops the bowl he's holding, not expecting you to speak because you've been so quiet. He glances over to the living room, where Namjoon and Jin are starting up a game of Mario Kart before he turns to look at you. Why does he always do that? It feels as though he's sneaking around for no reason whatsoever, always looking to make sure that Namjoon isn't looking at him.
"Uh, sure?" God, is it just him that's awkward? You look perfectly fine, elbow deep in soap water, scrubbing away at something in the sink, a small smile on your lips. Yoongi wipes his sweaty hands on his jeans, bringing them back up to stuff them into the pockets of his sweater. Play it cool, Min. "What's up?"
You turn your head, looking at him, and he swallows. The sink slowly drains, making that odd sucking noise as the water goes down and you look like you're struggling to grasp your words. There's a cute furrow between your brows, and Yoongi doesn't miss the way you bite your lip and look everywhere but at him.
Jin swears at Namjoon in rapid fire, in that way he does when he's got too much to say and not enough breath. Yoongi could see his arms flying up and swatting at Namjoon's shoulder, yelling about the blue shell he threw.
You take a breath, eyes settling somewhere above his head, clearly trying to block out Jin's racket, "Well...um..." You glance at him and look away, and Yoongi's just a little hopeful.
You look nervous, for once, wringing the life out of the dish towel in your hand as you press your lips together. There's a crease at your brow and Yoongi wonders what's bugging you. There were times when you'd freely spill your thoughts, up with him all ungodly hours just talking because that's what brother's best friends do, right? Offer comfort and a space to vent that isn't in the viewpoint of your sibling? He wonders what changed.
He knows though. It was that night, after that, things have been tense between you both, Yoongi just wishes it'd stop. He misses you texting him to tell him how your day went, or you constantly reminding him that he's way cooler than your older brother. He watches you now, if just to see you get even more flustered, even though he didn't know why.
Hope is an evil, never necessarily a good thing, if all it does is make you believe that something would work even though there's a slim chance that it actually would. Yoongi hates that he's hopeful right now. Hates that he's hoping that the flush of your cheeks and your nervous fidgeting has something to do with him, he hates that he wished you'd just spit it out already and stop his mind from coming up with all these things.
"Okay." You sigh, nodding more to yourself in a self-assured kind of way. Your eyes find his, briefly, before darting away, "Okay, so, I wanted to-"
"Hey, Y/n. Wanna play a round of Mario Kart with me?" Taehyung asks, walking into the kitchen with a smile, eyes filtering between you and Yoongi before they settle on you again. He pauses when you snap your mouth shut, pulling your bottom lip between your teeth and slowly look at him. You and Taehyung share a look that Yoongi's not too certain he wants to know what's about; the silence between you three is too loud.
"What?" the younger man asks, "Did I interrupt something?"
"No."
"Yes."
Yoongi stares at Taehyung, trying his hardest not to glare at him, because what you wanted to say was clearly important. You were staring at him, Yoongi could feel it, but he's giving you an opening to say what you need to.
"No, Tae, you didn't. I'll play." You smile a little forcefully, finally giving the dishcloth a break and laying it down on the island counter. "I'll tell you later?" You tilt your head at Yoongi and he can only nod, hopeful again, that you really would and not find an easy out.
"Okay."
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"Tae, can't we do this later or something?" You frown, speaking lowly as he wraps his arm with yours and drags you away, "I was actually really close this time."
"Yeah, no. You looked like you needed saving. So you're welcome." Taehyung shakes his head, curls swaying, "One day, little butterfly, you'll be free to spill your feelings." He sits you down on the couch next to Namjoon, who thankfully, has his earphones in his ears. Jin had already wandered off to do God knows after his defeat, leaving your brother to fiddle mindlessly with his phone.
You can hear Yoongi moving around in the kitchen, probably still packing away the dishes. Taehyung plops next to you, throwing his legs over yours and almost knocking Namjoon's phone out his hands. He starts up the game after passing you a remote, smiling at you, "He'll probably come over here to watch the game, so I'll lose and he could play against you, yeah?"
"Tae..." You groan, tilting your head back, and he pats your arm in a friendly manner, though a little firm in his delivery.
"If you don't tell him now that's fine..." He points at Namjoon with a tilt of his chin, trying to remind you of your brother's presence without being obvious. "But at least you could spend time with him. Never know what could happen." He wiggles his eyebrows.
Evidently, Taehyung's the only person who knows about that night with Yoongi. He was the one who picked you up from his apartment after all, firing question after question and not giving you room to breathe. Though he was a tad upset that he wasn't your first call when you were stranded, he understood why you'd called Yoongi. At the same time, he gave you an earful about just leaving the man hanging after you kissed him. Something you shouldn't have done in that moment, lord knows what Yoongi thinks of you now.
You've tried and failed so many times to tell Yoongi that you weren't as drunk as you seemed that night three months ago, you knew what you were doing. You were hurt, yes, but it was more out of realisation. Your relationship with your ex had been rocky at best, you'd given into his advances to hopefully put your crush on Yoongi behind you. It was easy at first, to have someone to put your focus on and give yourself to rather than to waste it on someone who didn't see you the way you saw him.
Yoongi has always seen you as his best friend's sister, nothing more. And you'd kissed him that night hoping that even for a second he'd realise, but he pushed you away and you knew there was no use hoping.
Even now, embarrassment still burns at your chest when you think about it, because what were you thinking? You'd left without saying anything to him because you were positively mortified. There were hundreds of unfinished texts that started and ended the same, with you contemplating if you should tell him or not.
More often than not, a tipsy night would find you huddled under your sheets with your finger hovering over Yoongi's contact.
It was more likely that he still saw you as the fresh out of highschool kid who followed him and your brother everywhere.
You groan loudly at your own thoughts, and Taehyung turns his head, looking between you and the TV screen, "Uh....You can play Toad if you want.."
"Huh?" The choose your character screen is up, idle, waiting for you to move your joystick around. Taehyung's already picked, "No, it's not that. I don't even like Toad, you can play him."
"That's the rudest thing that's ever come out of your mouth." Taehyung pokes your side with a finger, "What's on your mind?"
"Everything." You sigh, scrolling around to pick a random character. Don't get it wrong, you love Mario Kart as much as the next guy, but right now your mind was far, far away from this moment and the game.
Taehyung pats your thigh, "Maybe losing will help." He snickers, just as the game starts up.
"Oh, you're on." You're not gonna lose, no matter how confident Taehyung is, no one could beat you at Mario Kart.
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"Cheater! TaehYUNG. Joon tell Tae to stop do- You're cheating!"
"It's literally impossible to cheat at this game!"
Yoongi leans back against the island counter, content to watch you crash and burn as Taehyung wins yet another race. His victory laugh is deep, almost unheard under the sound of your indignant screeching. The rest of the boys gathered to see what you were yelling about, finding the sight of your losing streak more than entertaining.
Yoongi had paused only for a moment, making a light snack that everyone could enjoy if they wanted to, though, it was only an excuse to make your favourite. He watches as you scoot to the edge of the couch, he can't see your expression, but he doesn't doubt that you're pouting with the cute furrow of your brows that comes with your concentration.
"Namjoon." You whine to your brother, though Namjoon's hands fly up into the air, phone and all.
"Nope, leave me out of this."
"But he's cheating!"
"I'm not! You just suck."
Yoongi picks up the tray of Hotteok as soon as everyone calms down, carrying it over to the group. He rests the tray down on the coffee table, careful to move quickly so he doesn't block the screen for too long.
"Oh! Sweet! Thanks Yoongi." Namjoon is the first to move, leaning forward to grab one.
"Wait, Joon. They're ho-" Yoongi snaps his mouth shut as Namjoon has already picked it up. He promptly drops it, pulling air through his teeth before blowing on his fingertips.
"Ow." Namjoon pouts at his fingers, rubbing them against the material of his grey sweats.
Yoongi sighs, "Be careful, would you?" He focuses on the TV screen, you're directly behind Taehyung, throwing a blue shell that sends him skidding off the road just in time for you to cross the finish line.
"Ha!" You push at Taehyung's shoulder in your excitement, sending him against Namjoon, who drops his Hotteok on the floor.
Namjoon stares forlornly at the pancake for a quiet moment, while you do a victory wiggle in your place, his misfortune ignored.
"Well there you go, who wants to play?" Taehyung asks, glancing around the room. Jungkook waves his arm, getting up from his space on the floor by Hoseok's legs to totter over. "Yoongi! Nice of you to volunteer."
"What? I didn't...?" Yoongi stares at Taehyung like he's sprouted a second head.
Taehyung ignores him.
"Hey I wanted to play..." Jungkook whines, Taehyung ignores him, too.
"Guys, let's go take a nap in the bunk room." He stretches his long legs over Namjoon's, pulling him up by the arms and shares a look with Jungkook who was likely, as confused as everyone else.
"I'm not tired, though. I napped when I got here." Hoseok pipes up, pressing his lips together when Jimin not so subtly nudges his side with an elbow.
"Let's go take a nap." Taehyung repeats, eyes narrowing slightly at Hoseok. He relents under Taehyung's gaze, sighing as he stands and drags Jimin and a complaining Jungkook.
Taehyung smiles brightly, dropping his hands heavily on Yoongi's shoulders. Yoongi doesn't know what the kid's playing at, but allows him to direct him to sit next to you.
Yoongi shares a look with Seokjin, who shrugs and stands to leave too, linking his arm with Namjoon, "I found a book I think you'd like Joon. But we have to look for it, it's lost in my bedroom somewhere..."
"Oh...Kay? Sure."
Their voices trail off as they head up the stairs, and Taehyung waves as he backs out of the living room, with a sweet - suspicious - boxy smile."Have fun you two!"
"Okay what the hell." Yoongi mutters, turning his head to look at you. You didn't look his way, staring dead ahead at the TV, fingers tapping lightly at the control.
He hears you take a breath, "Wanna play Toad?"
"Uh...sure."
A few minutes go by before Yoongi could finally relax, getting comfortable on the couch focusing on the game and not the fact that you're less than a metre away from him. You're nibbling on a piece of hotteok, a little too quiet for Yoongi's liking. He was expecting you to be yelling because he's way ahead of you.
"So...can I ask you a question?" Yoongi keeps his eyes on the screen as he asks, afraid to look at you because he might slip up or stop all together. He could already hear the little voice in his head screaming at him to shut up. "I just wanna ask about...what you wanted to tell me in the kitchen?"
Yoongi doesn't normally pry, people's business are theirs and not his. But curiosity is driving him up a wall and he just needs to know. Maybe he was being foolishly hopeful again, thinking that whatever it was had something to do with him. That's why you hadn't said anything when Taehyung interrupted, right?
Yoongi wonders what Taehyung's deal was, first he was being too clingy with you - not that it's any of his business - and now he's acting so painfully obvious; trying to get you both in a room alone. It didn't go over Yoongi's head, as not a lot of things do.
He purposely lets you win the race, though, your victory was unsounded as you set the controller aside. "Right... kitchen..."
"You know you could tell me anything, right?" Yoongi says softly, fingers just wanting to reach for yours, if just to offer comfort. He tucks them against his palm though, and into the pouch of his sweater for an extra precaution.
"Yeah I know," You smile faintly, "like old times right?"
"Yeah exactly, and I won't judge, you know that. So whatever it is, just say it."
Maybe his words were a bit harsh? You stiffen a bit in place, sighing through your nose before you turn to look at him. The determination from earlier is back in your eyes again, and Yoongi finds it impossible to hold your gaze, and he's the first to look away this time. Keep it together, will you?
He feels heat climbing his neck, racing to each of his cheeks and he hopes to god you just think he's going pink because it's cold in here. Seokjin really needs to get that crappy heater fixed so Yoongi can blame something if you ask about it.
"Okay so remember the time when you-"
"You two are being awfully quiet." Seokjin pokes his head into the room, staring at you both, but not too long, before his eyes find the tv screen. "Oh, Yoongi, did you win?"
"No..." Yoongi sighs, watching as you shut him out once more.
"Really? It was so quiet..."
You make an offended sound in the back of your throat, straightening a bit to glare at Seokjin.
"Yoongi, can you help me with the firepit?"
Yoongi follows Seokjin outside along the wrap-around porch, the sun was halfway in its descent, painting the sky in a flurry of soft colours. The lake glistens with amber crystals, catching the sun's sleepy gaze as it drifts slowly off behind the hills; almost out of sight.
The sunken fire pit was in the backyard, something Yoongi helped Seokjin install last year. He's quite proud of it really, he did most of the heavy lifting while Seokjin stood around telling him how and where he wanted things like a glorified dictator.
As Seokjin gathers the firewood and steps down the three steps to throw the logs into the firepit, Yoongi realises that he didn't actually need any help.
"Watching you try to talk to Y/n is so painful. Like that time I broke my arm but worse."
"I actually wasn't doing the talking." Yoongi grumbles, enjoying the satisfying crunch of gravel under his sandals as he walks over to the cushioned semi circle bench and sits to watch Seokjin do all the work. "You have terrible timing."
Seokjin scoffs, shaking his head, "It's a wonder Namjoon hasn't figured it out yet...you're so obvious."
Yoongi feels like Seokjin just isn't listening to him, continuing his mission of getting the fire going; his words completely ignored.
"Joon is oblivious sometimes."
"You are too."
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"Here, this one's longer."
Yoongi watches as Seokjin trades wires with Jungkook, patting him on the shoulder as the younger man happily sticks his marshmallow on the end of his wire. As usual when they're all together, there's laughter in the air, and the lightness Yoongi feels in his chest is something he misses when he's alone.
He watches the moon rise behind the trees, full and glowing brightly in the cloudless sky. The fire was warm, the burning wood crackling softly, sending little glowing sparks up into the air. Everyone had their own bag of marshmallows for toasting, with chocolate and biscuits for s'mores.
"This is nice," Hoseok comments, smacking Jimin's hand away from the smores he was setting up, tucking them into the corner of a small bowl he brought. Jimin gets one anyway; sneaking it away while Hoseok wasn't looking.
"Yeah, we haven't done this in forever." Namjoon sticks the wire with his marshmallow a little too close to the fire.
"It's gonna burn if you do it like that." Yoongi reaches over and raises Namjoon's hand higher.
"When it's burnt it's the best, though."
"Are you a sadist?" Taehyung frowns at Jungkook, "it's better when it's just a little toasty."
"It won't melt inside if you play kiss and tell with the fire. You gotta burn it." Jungkook's marshmallow was just on the edge of charred and Yoongi watches with mild disgust as he smushes the thing between pieces of chocolate and unsweetened biscuits. He shoves the entire thing in his mouth and closes his eyes, moaning around the treat like it's the best thing he's ever tasted.
"Um? There's no way you're enjoying that." Hoseok didn't try to hide how he felt about it, narrowing his eyes at Jungkook. "Stop moaning like that!"
"I wasn't moaning!"
"Yes you were!"
Yoongi shakes his head, turning to look at you, who sat next to him, eating out of your own bag of marshmallows. The wire Seokjin had given you is still in your lap, untouched.
"Want me to make one for you?" He asks softly, already sticking a marshmallow on his wire. He hangs it over the fire and twirls it so it gets nice and brown, "Do you want it with the cookies?"
"Yeah, thanks." You smile sweetly at him, and Yoongi feels his heart stutter in his chest.
Once he's finished assembling the s'more, he hands it over to you. You take a bite out of it, and Yoongi struggles to breathe the very next second at the sound you make, turning his head swiftly to stare into the fire as though it would save him.
"Dude, Y/n. That's gotta be the best s'more ever created." Taehyung says, snickering from across the firepit, "Yoongi make me one, too!"
"You can make it yourself." Yoongi's cheeks flush, passing you a bottle of water when you choke.
"I wanna make happy noises, too."
When the fire in the pit smolders and the embers of the wood burn orange, everyone is ready to call it a night. The younger ones escape to the second floor bunk room first, Seokjin and Hoseok right behind them.
Hoseok is trying to convince Seokjin to flip a coin for the master bedroom while they go up the stairs.
"Owner's rights, Hobi."
"You have any idea what it's like to share a bathroom with those three? Have a heart!"
Their voices fade, and Yoongi is left standing in the entryway with you and Namjoon, feeling awkward and not quite sure what he should do with his hands. So he shoves them in the pockets of his sweatpants, and drags his feet towards the kitchen, suddenly thirsty.
You and Namjoon are talking in hushed tones, too quiet for him to hear, but he pays it no mind, it isn't his business, really.
You come in a second later, moving to the fridge just as Yoongi moves past you, and he's a little curious, a little worried, because you look a bit upset. There's a frown tugging at the corner of your mouth as you crack open a bottle of water.
"Everything okay?" Yoongi asks softly, fingers just itching to reach out for you, but he holds his own bottled water a little tighter instead.
"Yeah...Joon is just..." You shake your head, "Are you staying up to watch the movie with us?"
Your change of subject didn't surprise Yoongi, you've been doing that a lot today. He lifts his shoulder in a shrug, "I might...do you want me to?"
Yoongi would give you anything you ask for right now, hell, he'd find a way to pull the moon from the sky if you asked it of him.
"Huh?" Your eyes seems panicked for a second as they dart away to stare off elsewhere. "If you want to, it's up to you really."
"Then I'll watch." He gives an easy smile, "Are you sure you're okay?" He steps closer, a hand meeting your cheek gently, unintentionally and without Yoongi's consent. Simply out of his need to offer you comfort when he can, and maybe it's his wishful thinking, maybe it's that stupid thing called hope again; Yoongi swears you lean into his touch. Your skin is warm, like cooling tea on a winter's morning.
"I'm fine," You're staring at his lips as you say this, and Yoongi's heart skips before it gallops, threatening to burst from his chest. Maybe he's imagining it, but you move a step closer, and he does too, leaning down a bit to meet your height, "I just wanted to.."
Just another inch, if he moves just an inch closer. You're so close now that your exhales mingles with his in the space between you both, he could feel the chill seeping off the bottled water you hold, pressed against his stomach where your hands linger.
Yoongi decides he's not going to be awkward right now, he's going to be brave and just do this. He's going to kiss you and pour everything he feels into it, and hope - prays - that you feel it too.
"Ahem."
You and Yoongi both spring apart like teenagers caught doing something they shouldn't. Yoongi's cheeks are heating up too quickly for him to stop it, and yours are too, and he doesn't want to turn around because he knows who's behind him.
Think fast, Yoongi. Think.
"I hope your eye feels better. You should kiss - rinse! Rinse with warm water. 'Cause you know...germs...could uh.... get in there.... "
Really? Yoongi squeezes his eyes shut, already anticipating his death when he turns to face the grim reaper behind him.
Namjoon stands in the kitchen doorway, eyebrow raised, doing that thing he does with his jaw. Yoongi feels a little faint, looking at the ugly painting Taehyung convinced Seokjin to buy and hang up in the living room over his head.
"Y/n had something in her eye and I was just checking." He looks back at you and you look just as confused as he's feeling, smiling though, as if his misery is funny to you. "R-remember. Warm water, okay?"
With that he leaves, not looking at Namjoon, who's gaze he could feel at the back of his head.
"Joon, are you serious?" Your voice was a harsh whisper, a little loud in the silence of the kitchen.
Yoongi walks away, hands in his pockets, not catching Namjoon's reply as he makes his escape. What the fuck was that?
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"Let's watch The Conjuring."
"Fuck that." Hoseok puts his palms up, "Unless you're willing to cuddle me to sleep, we're not watching that movie."
A chorus of groans fills the room, "For the love of God, just pick something already. Not you, Jungkook."
"It's not my fault Hobi's a coward."
Hoseok's reaches over Seokjin to smack the back of Jungkook's head, who immediately retaliates by hitting Seokjin instead. The three of them trade playful smacks for a moment, while Taehyung and Jimin argue about which movie would be best to watch.
"Okay let's just all pick something." You say, pinching the bridge of your nose between your fingers, "Rock, paper, scissors, whoever wins; we'll watch."
Terrible idea really, everyone knows Jungkook is going to win.
Yoongi opts out, not really caring what goes up on the screen. He's sitting with his hands under his thighs, trying to keep them warm but at the same time, keeping them from doing something stupid. You're right next to him on the couch, he's once again hyper aware of your closeness, the way your arm would brush his every time you moved, the scent of your shampoo, soft and fruit scented.
He focuses on the way a single tear slips from Hoseok's eye, the way he tries to make himself as small as possible on the other couch next to Seokjin with a white knuckled grip on the latter's sweater. Jungkook triumphs in his endeavour of beating everyone who played against him, laughing, carefree and malicious as he pulls up The Conjuring.
Hoseok keeps his head tucked behind Seokjin's shoulder for most of the movie, clinging to him and jumping at every loud sound from the TV; poor guy's going through it.
Yoongi is just barely watching, staring at the screen, but not really following along - he has no idea what's going on. Mind too distracted with the fact that you chose to sit next to him and not next to anyone else. He's still reeling from the incident in the kitchen, glancing at Namjoon who was stuffing his face with popcorn, form outlined in the glow of the tv.
He could feel the warmth of your thigh through his sweatpants, and every little movement you'd make at the jumpscares and the loud sounds.
Hoseok dips halfway through, going up the darkened upstairs hallway with his phone torch on. Jungkook had the audacity to fall asleep, drooling on Seokjin's shoulder and mumbling unintelligible words; unbothered.
"I'm going to bed." Yoongi says to you, not really sleepy, but not interested in the movie enough to stay and watch. You grab at his hand and he pauses, "What?"
"You're leaving me here to suffer?"
"You're a big girl, you can take it." He shrugs, patting your hand before getting up. "Night guys."
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Yoongi lays quietly in his bed, staring up at the ceiling with a frown, unable to sleep. He turns his head, looking at the clock that blinks sleepily back at him and sighs, it's getting later into the night and sleep continues to evade him.
The house seemed to have quieted, the sound of Jimin and Taehyung arguing about who gets to use the upstairs bathroom first stopped a while ago, though, the stillness only allowed Yoongi's mind to wander off. He wonders if you're sleeping yet, he knows you have trouble sometimes, a common curse you both share.
He wonders about what you and Namjoon argued about, if it had anything to do with him. God he hopes not. The last thing he wants is for you and your brother to fall out because of him.
There's a soft knock on his door, quiet enough that he almost misses it. Just almost.
Yoongi gets out of bed, dragging his feet to the door. He isn't completely shocked to find you on the other side, looking like you're two seconds from walking away. Your hand still hovers, eyes impossibly big when they meet his in the soft light of the downstairs hallway.
"Hi." You say, softly, hand falling and gripping at the hem of a tee shirt he's sure belongs to Namjoon.
"...Hi?" Yoongi's brows furrow, not quite sure what you're doing knocking on his door at one in the morning, "Are you okay?"
"Yeah, I'm fine. Just wanted to talk to you..." He lets you shuffle into his room, and you walk over to the bed while he closes the door.
"What I wanted to tell you earlier..." You sit on his bed, a good distance away, enough to leave the space between you both cold and Yoongi longing for you to come closer. You seem to be struggling, staying quiet for a little too long.
"Hey." Yoongi calls, "Whatever it is, you can tell me, okay? You know I'd never judge you." He feels the need to repeat himself, just in case you need to hear it again.
"You will." You glance at him, bottom lip caught between your teeth, and you shake your head, "This was stupid..."
"Hey, hey." Yoongi grabs your wrist, stopping you from getting up. "How about I look over there?" He points at a random spot beside him with a thumb, "I won't look at you and you can just say it." He turns for good measure, staring at the wall on the far side of the room.
You're silent for a moment, a long moment that has Yoongi wondering. Maybe he should stop pestering you about it, bury his curiosity - his concern - in a box somewhere to forget about. He's been on your back about it for most of the day, granted, the universe apparently didn't want you to say anything, not with the way you were constantly interrupted every time you tried to talk about it. He should take that as a sign and drop it all together.
"You okay back there?" Yoongi asks softly, turning his head slightly, but not facing you.
"I wasn't really drunk." You say
Confused, Yoongi's brows furrow, "Huh?" He turns to face you, "What are you talking about?"
"The night you picked me up outside that bar." You're not looking at him, instead, you're looking down at your hands in your lap. The events of that night comes rushing to the front of Yoongi's mind, the way you kissed him, how soft your lips were.
"Wait, so..." Something in Yoongi's ears was buzzing, loud and distracting, as realization dawned, he feels a heat rising from his toes. "You-" he stands quickly from the bed, now that he knows exactly why you've been trying to say all day, he thinks he just might lose it.
"Why'd you leave without saying anything?" It's the first thing out of his mouth and Yoongi wishes he'd just shut up.
"I was embarrassed that I just kissed you out of nowhere like that. And you pushed me away, what else was I supposed to do?" You say in a rush, "I know you only see me as Namjoon's little sister."
"I don't." Yoongi says, and at your pause, his palms start to sweat, heart kicking against his ribcage. "Why did you kiss me that night?"
"You probably think it was because I was drunk. That wasn't it." You look him in the eye, "I wanted to."
Yoongi takes a breath and a moment to think carefully about what he's about to say, "Y/n." He runs his palms against his thighs, bottom lip caught between his teeth. "You were drunk. Just out of a relationship and you only kissed me because you were hurting, that's it."
"That's not-" You sigh loudly, pursing your lips and staring at the ceiling, "Do you even know why I dated that idiot? It's because you..." You trail off, picking at a loose thread on your t shirt.
Yoongi waits, giving you the moment you need to gather your words.
"I dated him so that I could forget you." You say softly, not looking at him, and Yoongi feels like he's buffering, like a frozen computer screen. Just standing there as he processes your words, it's taking a while to sink in, or they have, Yoongi is only trying to understand them. "I thought that dating him you would..."
Yoongi sighs, "Tell me something, yeah?"
You nod quietly, waiting. Yoongi watches you for a moment, he's more curious now, "How long?"
He watches as you fluster, eyes darting around to look at anywhere that isn't him. The way your fingers pinch at the dark sheets on the bed, you draw your bottom lip between your teeth and Yoongi just wants to kiss you. But as he's been doing all day, he gives you a moment; Yoongi is nothing but patient.
"Since we met?"
Is that a question? There Yoongi goes buffering again. He blinks a couple of times, mind going through the motions of his forced epiphany. The moments when you used to follow him and Namjoon around, all the staying up late texting as though you both were more than you were at the time.
"I really really like you and I tried to show you that night, but well..."
You get up from his bed with a sigh and step towards him and Yoongi tries his best not to take a step back, he allows you to reach him, to stand close enough for him to touch. He's panicking, on the inside, a voice in the back of his mind telling him that this is a terrible idea and that he should probably stop you.
He can't bring himself to, words stuck in his throat.
You're closer now, Yoongi could feel the warmth of you, and he swears this time that he'll be brave. So he kisses you first, fingers tangling in your hair, a hand gripping your waist to pull you even closer. He feels your hands against his chest as his eyes close, your lips are warm and as soft as he remembers, and he groans at the taste of you. His tongue finds yours, slowly, sliding against yours and he wants to savour this, commit your every sound to memory. Yoongi groans when your hands slide into his hair, tugging lightly at the nape of his neck.
He pulls back for air, lungs trying to take in as much air as possible, too quickly, he feels lightheaded. But that could just be because of you. He presses a fleeting kiss at the corner of your mouth, nose brushing against yours lightly. He's pretty sure this is what being high feels like, the rushing of his blood in his ears and the tingling at the tips of his fingers.
"You're gonna end me." Namjoon will too. The thought alone was enough to make Yoongi pause, realise the grip he had on your hips. One of his hands is just shy of the exposed skin under your tee shirt, hyper aware of the way your chest is pressed to his, your lips on his neck.
Namjoon is going to kill him.
He feels your teeth nip at the skin of his neck and he hisses between his teeth, your tongue follows. He pulls away, pushing you from him gently to take a couple steps back. He sees the question in your eyes, the soft furrow of your brows. He sighs through his nose, thinking about how much of a terrible idea this was, and how Namjoon would very likely drown him in the lake.
"Y/n...we can't." This was the reason he pushed you away the first time. Yoongi likes to think ahead, think about all the outcomes of a situation before he walks into it. This could go two ways, and Yoongi's mind can only focus on the worst scenario. What if this goes wrong? What if doing this now ruins everything, he'd not only lose you, but Namjoon as well.
He sees your pout and he looks away, wondering why he can't just let it happen and deal with the consequences later. But Yoongi isn't like that. He likes to sit and over think things.
"Is this about Namjoon?"
Yoongi startles at your question, jolting a bit as he drops his hands from your waist, fingers curling against his palm. He's not as good at hiding his thoughts as he presumed, or you just knew him too well for his own good. He answers your question with a silent nod, not meeting your eyes in the darkness of his room.
"Yoongi. He wouldn't care. Namjoon can't do anything, what I do isn't his business."
Yoongi goes to argue that that's not the point. You were so off the mark that he almost laughed, Namjoon wouldn't care what you thought. He wouldn't be able to look past Yoongi even thinking about touching you. So much for being brave.
You sigh, and Yoongi catches the hurt in the sound.
"I'm sorry."
"Don't push me away again, please." You reach for him and Yoongi doesn't stop you, because he can; he doesn't want to. "I wouldn't be here if I didn't want to."
"Are you sure?" He asks seriously, catching your wrist, ducking his head so that he could meet your eyes properly, "Tell me now that this is okay because when I start I won't stop."
You barely got to nod before Yoongi was kissing you again, pouring everything he had into it, hands moving down to grip at your ass in your cotton shorts. He takes careful steps, walking you backwards towards the bed.
"Just let me take care of you, yeah?" Yoongi gently pushes you back onto the bed, taking his time to strip you out of your clothes. Not letting his worries and doubts stop him from telling you how beautiful you are, or from kissing every inch of skin revealed to his eyes.
He kisses his way down your thighs once your shorts and panties are out of the way, stopping every now and then to nibble at the soft flesh. Your little sighs and moans are something he wants to record and keep with him forever, even though he wouldn't need them to remember.
He touches you lightly, just to tease, sliding his hands down your thighs, eyes locked on your glistening pussy. He wants to draw this out, ignoring your impatient whine and the rise of your hips at his touch. He's waited so long for this, wanting to taste you beyond the kiss you shared so long ago, Yoongi wants to make you beg. Reduce you to a mumbling mess of incoherent words, but at the same time, he too is impatient.
He shushes you gently at your call of his name, fingers parting your folds and watching the way your pussy clenches around nothing at his gaze. "So pretty, baby."
It was your only warning before he dove in, licking a board stripe from your engerance to your clit, focusing the tip of his tongue at the bundle of nerves. You suck in a sharp breath, hand tugging at his hair and it only spurs Yoongi on. He sucks gently in your clit, tongue moving in slow figures and dips a finger into your wet heat. He groans at the way your cunt just sucks him in, arousal dripping down his hand and he adds another, curling them against the soft spot within you.
He looks up at you, past your heaving chest to your fucked out face. Your parted lips, furrowed brows, glazed eyes looking back at him.
"Yoon--fuck."
Yoongi groans lowly in his throat, pressing his tongue flat against your clit, mouth flooding with your taste. He'd stay there forever if you gave him the chance, listening to the way your breath hitches and the sound of your moans and the feeling of your fingers in his hair. He wraps his lips around your clit and sucks harshly. He drives his tongue inside you, and the whine that leaves you has him rutting his hips against the bed. He can't get enough of your taste, the way your pussy clenches he's around his fingers.
"You taste so good, baby." Yoongi loves the way you grip at his hair, the way you tug sends tingles down his spine. He thrusts two fingers inside you, crooking them right, hitting the spot that sends your moans into a higher octave. He can't be bothered with how loud you're being, or if anyone's awake right now and would know exactly what you're both up to. You don't seem to care either, too lost in the pleasure; moaning his name.
"F-fuck, right there," you whimper, thighs tensing around his head. Yoongi groans as he obeys, crooking his fingers and rubbing at the spot that makes you sing so sweetly. His lips never leave your clit, tongue swirling around the swollen nub in figure eights. Dragging his fingers within the tightness of your dripping heat, he could tell you're close, feeling the way your thighs tremble. "Fu-"
Your back arches off the sheets, and Yoongi moans when your release gushes out of you and into his mouth. He stays there and takes it all, until you push at him instead of pull and Yoongi lets up, running his hands up your sides in an attempt to soothe as you tremble in the after wave. "You doing okay?"
"Yeah," you squeak out and Yoongi chuckles, getting up to sit back on his thighs. He watches you for a moment, watching the way your chest heaves with your every breath, your hair a tangled mess against his pillows. His eyes trail your form, down to the mess between your thighs that twitched at his attention.
"Sure? You good to go on?" He asks to be sure, squeezing your hip gently. You nod, reaching for him and he goes without complaint, caging you within his arms and kisses you slowly. His tongue tangles with yours, and he grinds his hips down against yours, seeking friction for his aching cock, dampening the front of his sweatpants.
"Fuck that feels so good." He groans, sucking bruises into the soft skin of your neck. He angles his hips so that the length of his cock rubs directly against your clit, shuddering, it feels so good and Yoongi can't stop. He slows down though, because he could feel his release racing down his spine. "Fuck, baby."
"Wanna..." You push at his shoulders, "Wanna suck your cock." Your hands are at the drawstrings of his sweatpants already, tugging, "Wanna taste you, too."
"Fuck, okay."
Yoongi gets off the bed to shuck off his sweats, cock springing free, red and pulsing, precum beading at the tip. He chuckles at your facial expression, eyes surprised even though your bottom lip is caught between your teeth. He notes the way your eyes follow the movement of his hand, he grips his cock and squeezes, thumb catching the translucent drop and dragging it down his shaft.
"You're big."
"Good for you, then?" He pumps his shaft slowly, whispering curses under his breath.
You roll your eyes, "It wouldn't have mattered if-"
"Shh." Yoongi shushes and crooks the fingers of his free hand at you, "Come here."
He leans down to grab a pillow behind you, pausing, "Where's comfortable for you?"
"Wherever you want me," you say sweetly, and it would've been cute with the way you smile, if it wasn't for the look in your eyes. For a moment Yoongi feels like he's in for way more than he bargained for, with you looking so pretty, alluring, like a succubus ready to siphon his soul. Such a far contrast from the you of earlier, fumbling with your words and flushing under his gaze.
"This isn't about me." Yoongi swallows, "Are you kneeling or do you wanna stay on the bed?"
"I'll stay here." You make yourself comfortable, propping up on your elbows, and Yoongi passes you the pillow to help you reach his hips in your position. You slide the pillow under your chest, already reaching for him before he steps closer and Yoongi sucks in a sharp breath when your smaller hand wraps around his cock.
You mirror his motions from before, pumping slowly and Yoongi's not sure if you're teasing him or not. Tongue snaking out to kitten lick at the head, you swirl it around before taking it into your mouth.
"Ah fuck." Yoongi throws his head back, a hand finding your hair as you take him slowly to the back of your throat. He feels your exhales against his tummy, just barely, his mind too muddled to focus on anything but the warmth of your throat and the wiggling of your tongue under his shaft. "You're doing so good, baby."
You hum a gurgle of a word Yoongi would probably never decipher, the vibrations around the head of his cock has him tugging lightly on your hair and pulling out and away from your mouth, breathing hard. He'd be damned if he comes so quickly, that shit will probably haunt him for the rest of his life.
There's a string of spit connecting your lips to his cock, and you smile like the minx you are, not letting him get far enough away before you're taking his cock into your mouth again, bobbing your head at a quick pace. Yoongi could cry, he's trying so hard, there's sweat dripping from his hair, you're pulling him closer, taking him deeper and his eyes roll back.
"Shit. Slow down." His words trail off in a moan, and he's unable to help the rolling of his hips, thrusting his cock into the warmth of your throat, gently, mindful of your breathing. You swallow and he swears, thighs tensing and he stops, pulling away again to release a stuttered exhale. Leaning down, he kisses you, licking into your mouth with haste, tasting himself on your tongue. "Wanna fuck you." He breathes against your lips, releasing your hair for you to scoot back up the bed.
He's quick to follow, slotting his hips between your thighs, stopping to map bruises against the skin of your chest. He laves his tongue over a nipple, fingers toying with the other, he takes the pebbled bud into his mouth just to hear you make a pretty sound.
"Yoongi." You whine his name, and Yoongi doesn't waste another second, hooking one of your knees over his elbow, other hand guiding his cock to your wet cunt. He stays there for a moment, tapping his cock against your clit just to watch you squirm. You raise your hips to meet his teasing thrusts and Yoongi chuckles, easing back to slowly drag his cock down your slit until it prods at your entrance.
He slowly presses into you, watching the way your pussy sucks him in, arousal coating his cock. "You're so fucking tight." Yoongi stills, gripping your hips, watching you through a lust filled haze. He thrusts shallowly into you until he bottoms out and stills, free hand squeezing your hip gently. He swipes his tongue over his thumb, pressing the digit against your clit to rub in slow circles, "Relax for me, baby."
When he feels your body relax around him, he moves, setting a slow pace to start, leaning down to slot his lips over yours, swallowing the sounds you made. You arms wrap around his neck, nails scraping red, angry lines at his shoulder blades. The pain only heightens the pleasure he feels, crossing his eyes and curling his toes.
"Fuck." Yoongi bites gently on your earlobe, "You're so good for me baby. So fucking good. Taking my cock so well."
He knows you're getting tired of his pace. You're lifting your hips to meet his thrust, moaning helplessly into his ears. "Want more, baby?" He leans back in time to catch your nod, kiss swollen bottom lip caught between your teeth. He grips your hips again, keeping you from moving, and slows down just to watch you squirm and beg for him.
"Ple-fuck. Jus-" your words cut off with a gasp, hands gripping Yoongi's wrists where he holds you. He sets a punishing pace, the sound of his thighs hitting your ass loud in the quiet of the room. "Oh F-fuck, Yoongi."
"This what you wanted, hmm?" He tilts his head at you, one eyebrow raised, sliding a hand up your sweat slicked skin to cup your jaw, you take his thumb into your mouth and Yoongi's cock pulses with the need for his release. He smirks, pressing his thumb down on your tongue, pace never faltering, his nerves are on the edge of frying, orgasm tingling at the end of his spine. Pulling his hand away from your mouth and presses his thumb against your clit, looking down at the way his ccok, covered in your arousal, disappears inside you.
Yoongi groans, the sound rumbling in his chest, feeling your pussy clenching around his cock, squeezing tight as your breath hitches. "Ah--fuck I'm gonna-"
"Yeah? Come for me, baby." As your body tenses and tremble, Yoongi chases his end, hips stuttering and he gasps, cock throbbing in time with his heartbeat as his release spills into you. "Oh fuck."
Head light and ears ringing, Yoongi kisses you, it's more tongue than anything else, but he doesn't care. He does his best to keep the full weight of him off you, peppering kisses along your jaw. He feels your every breath and his sweat cools on his skin, "You okay?"
There's sweat burning his eyes and he squints at you as you push his hair back and away from his face, you're smiling and giggling shyly. Like if he told you a joke and didn't just fuck you nine ways to hell. "I'm perfect."
He presses a kiss to your cheek, leaning back up again to carefully slip his softening cock out of your still pulsing walls. His release comes flowing out not two seconds after, he watches with his bottom lip between his teeth, cock giving an interested twitch.
Yoongi gets up before he starts something again, because he just might die trying to go through a second round so quickly. "Don't move, I'll be right back."
He looks around on the floor for where he left his sweatpants, he puts them on and shuffles quickly to the door. He only realises just how quiet it is now that it's quiet, he realises how loud the two of you were being.
He goes back to you with a warm, damp washrag, finding you close to falling asleep. He cleans you up anyway, mindful of your sensitivity.
When he's done he watches you for a moment, fingers finding yours first. Mindlessly he fiddles with them and reaches for his discarded shirt and passes it to you, releases your hand only for you to put it on. "We probably could've done this sooner." You say softly, smiling.
Yoongi tilts his head, a smirk tugging at the corner of his mouth, "What? The sex or...?"
You lightly swat his arm, "You know what I mean."
"I do." Yoongi presses a kiss to your wrist, sighing when you gently lay that palm against his cheek. He believes that action speaks volumes and there's no need for words, but he realises that he hadn't said it back to you earlier. Though, he was very much distracted and his thoughts were absent. "I like you too...alot...just in case that wasn't clear."
He shifts on the bed to be closer to you and leans his head on your shoulder, "I'm sorry it took me so long. It takes me a while to come to terms with things. I overthink and make things harder for myself, I wasn't sure if this was the right way to go."
You hum softly, breath tickling his ears, "It's okay. I suck too. We could've avoided the run around if I'd just told you."
"Yeah, you're terrible. I had no idea what to do with your smoke signals." Yoongi raises his head, chuckling. Leaning over, he presses a kiss to your forehead and tilts your chin to kiss you softly. "Can I take you out? When we get back."
"Yeah, I'd like that."
Yoongi smiles, feeling like a kid and nudges you softly, "Go pee. I'll strip the sheets, go on."
He watches as you walk on wobbly legs till you reach the door and pause, turning your head to watch him with wide eyes, "you don't think they heard us, do you?"
"Nah, they're asleep."
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"Dude, whoever was watching their porn so loudly last night, fuck you. Honestly, the lack of respect in this household."
It's the first thing Jimin says when he comes downstairs the next morning, looking like he'd slept on the wrong side of the bed. Eyes swollen as he takes the coffee Seokjin offers and the sympathetic pat to his shoulder.
Yoongi ignores the conversation, even though you looked like you were about to combust next to him. Seokjin was giving him a look from his spot by the stove, looking ridiculous in the pink apron he favoured.
"Yeah the walls are so thin in here it's wild." Seokjin wiggles his eyebrows at Yoongi and you choose that moment to choke on your sip of orange juice.
Taehyung pauses, fork halfway to his mouth with a strip of bacon hanging for dear life at the end of it. He looks between the both of you for a quiet moment, strong brows furrowed until something lights in his eyes. "Oh my god."
Jimin, who's slumping in his seat, looking like he wanted nothing more than to crawl his way back upstairs perks up at Taehyung's words, "What?"
Yoongi stares silently at Taehyung, daring him to open his big mouth and say exactly what he definitely wants to say.
"Nothing. Nothing...." Taehyung waves his hand with the fork, sending the piece of bacon flying off it and into his glass of orange juice. Jimin watches on with disgust as Taehyung fishes the piece out of the cup and tosses it into his mouth.
"The bin is right there."
"Are you drinking the juice?"
Yoongi runs circles into the skin of your knee, as Taehyung and Jimin bicker.
"Oh, Joon. Come eat." Seokjin wanders over to the entrance and Yoongi just barely catches the sight of Namjoon passing by, saying that he was going for a walk first. Hoseok and Jungkook enter just then, finding their spots at the table as Seokjin sets plates for them.
"I'll be right back." Yoongi says softly, pressing a kiss to your temple, leaving Jimin sputtering into his coffee. He pushes his chair back and stands, catching the way Hoseok squints at you.
He points, not saying anything before he leans around Taehyung to smack at Jimin's arm, "I told you so! You owe me fifty."
"Bold of you to assume I came here with money."
"You guys made a bet?" You ask, incredulous.
"Yeah. It's either someone was watching porn, or someone was getting it. You and Yoongi are the only ones not sharing a room..."
Hoseok voice fades as Yoongi shuts the front door behind him. It's cold, mist and dew clinging to the world and Yoongi regrets leaving his sweater in his room. He rubs his hands over his arms, the long sleeves of his t shirt barely keeping him warm.
Namjoon's already walking, a good distance from the house near the lake's edge. Yoongi takes his time walking over, gravel crunching under his feet, he slots his hands into his pockets to keep them warm.
When he reaches Namjoon, the younger man is crouched down, cooing at something on the ground. There's a little crab scurrying around trying to get away from Namjoon's curious fingers.
"Just let the little guy be." Yoongi announces himself, "Thing's probably scared shitless."
"I just wanna pick him up, though," Namjoon continues to try, sighing when the little crab escapes into the lake. "Oh well.." He dusts his hands and stands up, finally looking over at Yoongi.
"Aren't you cold?" He asks, and remembering he's standing out in a tshirt and sweats, Yoongi shivers. Namjoon looks all cozy in his beige sweater and matching beanie.
"I wanted to run something by you." Yoongi says, looking out at the lake and the way the light of the morning sun glitters against the still waters. He shoves his cold hands into the pockets of his pants, rubbing his thumb over his curled fingers. He realised that this is going to be as hard as trying to talk to you, and Namjoon waits patiently, watching Yoongi with eyes that seemed to know too much.
"Uh.." Yoongi chances a look, glancing at Namjoon who's just as quiet as him, waiting. "Look man, Y/n and I had a talk last night."
"Right?" Namjoon gives him a look, a confused one, head tilting and all.
Yoongi takes a breath and decides to go headfirst, though he takes a step back from Namjoon to be sure. "I really like your sister and we talked about it and I just wanted you to know that."
The uncomfortable look that morphs Namjoon's features wasn't what Yoongi was expecting, especially since the look stays there for a while as Namjoon just stares at him. He raises a hand to scratch at his cheek, "Dude."
"What?"
"Are you saying that I owe Hoseok fifty dollars?"
"...Eh?" Yoongi's confused, and it feels as though he's spent this whole weekend running on pure confused energy. Namjoon shakes his head, laughing in a way that makes Yoongi take another step back.
"I know. You two are terrible at hiding shit." Namjoon points his thumb over his shoulder, back at the house where he glances. From where he stands, he could see Seokjin, Taehyung and Jimin peering out through the window. "I know my sister, and I know my best friend. You guys are adults, so, really, there's nothing I can do but watch it happen."
Namjoon shrugs, and Yoongi flushes, cheeks heating. "But when I met her...you...you gave me a look."
"I was trying to ask if you wanted water!"
"That was not a 'do you want water' look, Joon."
Namjoon reaches over and pats his shoulder softly, hand lingering, "You have my blessing, if that's what you came to ask for." He smiles, eyes disappearing, but Yoongi's relief is cut short when he tries to shift away, Namjoon's grip tightening. "Though, she's still my little sister. I know where you live."
Yoongi chuckles, a little scared.
"Good talk." Namjoon nods to himself, "I'm going inside. Get out of the cold!"
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Tagging: @madbutgloriouspond @blog-name-idk @taestefully-in-luv @btsstan12 @hamsterclaw @allhobbitstoisengard @dontstoptime @doneimnida @here2bbtstrash
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trex98dreams · 2 years
Text
It’s Ok
Member: Min Yoongi Genre: Angst / Fluff  🌸💔 Song Inspired: It's Ok - Cee Lo Green Summary: Min Yoongi was that ultimate cold tsundere. As his hyper girlfriend, you were always the first to initiate everything in your relationship, without knowing if he ever feels the same. But his indifference took a toll on you, and you figure that it's better for you to let him go.
A/N: Please listen to the song recommendation while reading this! Would add the romcom taste to it, I promise!
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"Let's break up."
Your try to read his face as you utter these painful word.
To your disappointment, he was still indifferent. Yoongi didn't flinch, not even blink his eyes. He was busy staring at the coffee menu without sparing a glance at you.
You should have known this would be his reaction.
Why do you still think that he would be different about this? You chuckle to yourself pitifully.
What did you expect? Min Yoongi begging for you to not leave him? That would probably be in your wildest dream.
You bit your lower lips and tried hard to ignore the growing pain in your chest. You waited and waited as minutes passed by but he still didn't say anything. He flips through the menu like he couldn't hear what you just said.
You were taking a deep breath and was about to say something else when he ask, "What's your reason?"
You stopped, blinking your eyes rapidly. With a steady breath (though your heart was shaking), you turn your gaze to him to explain what has always been in your heart for the past 2 years of your relationship.
"Yoongi.. I feel like I'm the only person who loves in this relationship. You never tell me anything, not even how you really feel about me. I was always the one with the confession, the dates and I was always the one who was showy about us. Even I am the 1st to confess and bare my feelings for you.. without ever knowing whether you like anything about me when you agreed to be my boyfriend," you said hurriedly.
"Lately I've been thinking.. and I don't know, I just though that we should go our separate way.. I don't want to force you to love me anymore.." you trails there, avoiding eye contact with him. You're afraid that if you look into his eyes, you'll cry.
"Anyways, I.. I just call you here to tell you this. I think it's best for both of us. It's been 2 years and I don't want a one sided relationship anymore. What I want is for you to be happy.. without being dragged down by a girlfriend like me."
You bit your lower lips. It was winter, and outside the coffee shop it was cold, but the air between you two were colder. You swiftly remove the couple ring on your finger and push the thin metal to Yoongi who sat across you with a stoic expression.
"Here, it doesn't belong to me. You were the one who bought it. I'm sorry for everything, for forcing you to be my boyfriend. I hope you'll find someone you truly loves, ok Yoongi?"
He stare at the ring with a plain face. Sure, he was indifferent about your breakup as well. The ring was something very important to you, as it was something you forced him to buy after seeing the couple ring Hyelin wears. By force, that was the only thing he ever got you between your 2 year's relationship.
You were waiting for him to say something.
Anything.
Anything that would make you think that this was a bad decision. That some part of him loves you at least a little tiny piece. But your heart broke the moment he asked that final question coldly.
"Is there anything else you would like to say?"
Oh how you wanted to cry so bad.
So fucking bad that you wanted to curse at him and punch him for breaking your heart and wasting your time for the past 2 years but then you remember, you were the one who wanted him. You were the one who was so obsessed on having him. You were the one who flirted with him even though everybody keep on telling you how bad he is at treating the people around him.
You gulp, shaking your head. You were looking down the whole time, playing with your finger and try calming your heart so you won't cry in front of him. You knew he hates it. He hates weak people and people who cry a lot. That's why you never cry in front of him.
"No.. I.. best of luck Yoongi! Thank you.. for being my boyfriend. I wish you happiness, always! I'll- I'll go first. Merry Christmas," you told him, altogether collecting your belongings.
You quickly pull your cap down and stand up, rushing towards the exit before bursting out a dam of tears.
...
Your break-up with Yoongi was all over campus the next week.
You didn't know how or why. Then you got to know that the nosy 'Gretchen Wieners' of the campus, Garam, was at the coffee shop and overheard your conversation with Yoongi that day. You would never suspected Yoongi, because you knew he was a calm and quiet person. He wouldn't go around telling people how you 2 are not together anymore. Not that he ever did when the 2 of you did either.
Some people look at you with pity, some scoffing (especially girls who was majoring in music as Yoongi does) and some well, just don't care.
You couldn't sleep, eat or think clearly after that day. You cried and cried some more even while you were watching a comedy show on TV. You never though that you would one day broke up with him, Min Yoongi, the guy you love so much from the 1st day you set foot on campus.
Want it or not, you need to go to your classes or you're going to be held a semester back. You had to pretend that you're okay, and smile so people wouldn't notice how your eyes was actually swollen from crying too much for the past 3 days.
Hyelin, your best friend, look at you with sympathy.
"I know you're sad baby, I'm so sorry.. that cold city guy Yoongi! Ergh! If there is now law, I would already pressed my foot on his face right now! He shows no feeling or remorse at all! Fucking idiot! He doesn't appreciate you at all! Even you, his girlfriend give up on him! What about everyone else? Fuck him!"
You let out a weak smile.
"It's fine Hyelin, maybe he's not meant for me. What can I do about it? Besides.. I think he's thankful that I ask for the break-up.. maybe he doesn't have the heart to broke up with me seeing how pitiful and crazy I am about him before.. so, it's fine. It's a win-win situation."
"Win-win situation? You LOVE him you idiot! Oh my god- I just! Why? Why did you have to fall for him of all people? I just.. I just feel sorry for you. You're my best friend. Tell me the truth Y/N, doesn't he persuade you even once after you ask for the break-up? Isn't he curious about why you suddenly want nothing to do with him? Doesn't he like, 'Did I do something wrong baby? Why are you saying all this? No, I don't agree' things like that? What is he? A robot with no emotion?"
You shook your head, "Yoongi's not Hoseok, Hyelin."
You stare emptily at the people walking pass you and her in the campus's park. "I did told him the reason why. I told him I felt as if I'm the only one who loves in our relationship. You knew what he said? He ask me if there is there anything else I would like to say, as if he's waiting for the moment to be released from my grip. I was curious about one thing of course.. I was dying to ask him if he ever loves me these past 2 years but I didn't have the strength to.. I'm scared of his answer. I'm scared to know that he didn't love me as much as I did him.. so in the end.. I walk out from the coffee shop, walk out from the relationship I love most."
Tears were threatening to fall but you took a deep breath, and smile to look as if you're OK.
Hyelin patted your back softly to calm you down. "I'm fine Hyelin, I really am. Yoongi has always been that way, I'm the one who though I could change him. It's my fault, for I'm the one who risks my heart for a guy that never loves me. It's not his fault. It's for the best anyway than me forcing him on a relationship he doesn't even want."
Just as you finish pouring your heart, you went quiet. Hyelin could feel that you're still upset and broken when your relationship ends with Yoongi. Hyelin knew, if you could, you never wanted to let Yoongi go. You love him so goddamn much. She knew how much you love Yoongi and dream of having him as your husband one day.
But what can she do? Yoongi doesn't love you.
"If its that painful, and you still wanted him, I could talk to Hoseok? I could tell him to talk to Yoongi, maybe he'll get back with you-"
"No." You let out a painful smile. "I don't want to get back with him just because he pities me. Maybe there's someone else he likes that he had set his eyes on but can do nothing about it since he already agree to become my boyfriend. I didn't want that for him. I want Yoongi to be in a happy relationship that he wants instead of being in a miserable one that he was forced too."
Hyelin hugs you tight. "I'm sorry Y/N. That stupid tsundere Yoongi! I swear he will never get a girl as loving, caring and cheerful as you are!"
You knew Hyelin was just trying to make you feel happy. But the fresh wound in your heart was still there, and you wish so badly that you could just erase Min Yoongi from your mind, as well as your heart.
...
The next few weeks, you tried your best to avoid Yoongi. But it was hard, because Yoongi is friends with Hoseok, Hyelin's boyfriend and you know you have to face him eventually. Not that Hoseok didn't know that you 2 were not together anymore, but Hoseok wanted Yoongi to maintain at least some kind of friendship with you.
Hoseok's persuasion made you uncomfortable, and you always find an excuse to avoid hanging out with them like you used to because you knew Yoongi will be there as well. You can't face Yoongi, not when the stinging in your heart is still there. You need some time away from him to be able to move on. Then, when you're ready, you would rethink about maintaining a little bit of friendship with him.
With that being said, you took a part time job to fill out your free time. Your friend, Namjoon, runs a small karaoke bar a few block away from college. You didn't hesitate when he ask if you wanna work there after one of his employee quit. That's the only way you knew to get out of your messy thoughts about Yoongi.
"Babe, Y/N said she's working part time at the karaoke bar Namjoon run nearby, hmm~ no more hanging out with her anymore after this," Hyelin pouts, just as she ends the call with you.
Hoseok's eyes widen. "Really? Aww, what a bummer. It's been a month since we last hang out with her. I miss her a lot.. right Yoongi?"
Yoongi didn't say anything. He was busy stirring the straw in his drink, staring into the cup. Hyelin glare at him sharply.
"Why would he? He never care about Y/N. Maybe he's relief, he didn't have to see her around anymore. You must think she's clingy right Yoongi? Good luck finding a girlfriend half as good as Y/N who can stand your cranky, cold attitude."
Yoongi didn't look at Hyelin, but he replied calmly to her furious remark.
"Y/N was the one who ask for the breakup, just like she did when she ask me to be her boyfriend. She says both of us should go our own ways. I don't want to force her to stay if our relationship is what's dragging her dreams down."
Hyelin wanted to slap him so bad. But Hoseok hugs her just in time. "Babe, baby, come on. As if you didn't know Yoongi.. you know how savage and blunt he is. You too Yoongs, quit it," Hoseok said, stopping them from killing each other with their death stare.
"She loves you, you idiot. And you, stop treating people around you like trash. I know you're emotionless, cold, whatever savageness you were born into but Y/N's your girlfriend. Don't you see how much she loves you? But all you did was treat her like you treat everyone else, building walls all over yourself. How is she suppose to feel? And what? You did that for 2 years! No wonder Y/N left you! If I were her, I wouldn't even last a day with you!" Hyelin huffs, reaching for her sling bag and walk away, leaving Hoseok and Yoongi with a headache.
"Sorry bro, she loves Y/N. They're like.. sisters you know." Hoseok apologized but Yoongi only let out a soft sigh. He stare at Hyelin who was walking away from the 2 of them, thinking about what she just said.
"It's fine Hoseok. I know how much she loves Y/N," Yoongi adds.
Hoseok wanted to ask Yoongi about how he feels about the breakup, not that he didn't try before, but Yoongi was quite intimidating when it comes to his private relationship. He never talks about you for the past 2 years of your dating history. He never talks about how you treated him, or how has it been between the 2 of you, where did you go on your dates or say good nor bad things about you. That's what makes junior girls in your campus thinks that he's single.
But one thing everybody knew is that when a girl dared to ask him out, Yoongi will reply with a, "I'm sorry, I have a girlfriend."
Hoseok knew him since high school, but he never crosses the boundaries of their friendship. So, in his own conclusion, Hoseok thinks that Yoongi was relief to let you go too. Maybe. Probably. It made him feels unsettled for you but if that's what Yoongi wants, then he nor Hyelin can do anything about it. Especially when Min Yoongi is not the kind to beg for people to stay.
"You okay man? About this whole thing?" Hoseok ask carefully. Yoongi stare at his musical sheets without a changed expression.
"Yeah, of course."
...
You look at a couple of high school kids entering the karaoke bar all being lovely dovey.
It must be nice. To have a person who loves you and loves you back, you though to yourself.
Namjoon look at you who were lost in your train of thoughts after he finish cleaning the floor. He approach you quietly and held your shoulder, shaking you gently to make you realize he was right in front of you.
"Ops! I'm so sorry Joonie, god, I'm so clumsy, I'm sorry. You were saying something?" you said, literally startled with your buff friend who was smiling down at you, displaying his deep dimples.
"Are you okay? You look quite lost there. Are you.. still sad about your break up?" he asks, not wanting to sound rude or anything. You fake a smile, pretending not to care. "Nah, I'm good! Really! Yoongi was indifferent about it, I should too. Don't worry about me ok?"
You were such a bad liar, even Namjoon saw it. Namjoon was a friend of you from the math club in college. You guys weren't close before, since you only met on Wednesday but he had always secretly wish to be your friend. And yes, he knew about Yoongi. He felt sorry for you of course, but he vowed to make you smile just like how you did when you're with Yoongi.
"Hey Y/N, if you need anything or need a friend to listen to your problem, just tell me alright? I'll try my best to be that friend."
Namjoon was such a sweetheart.
You let out a thin smile. "Sure Joonie. Thanks, for everything. By the way, I solved the equation we did the other day, when we lost to the Incheon Team during the matheletes. Turns out, Yerin did the wrong part, so everything went down from hers hahahaha," you laugh, trying to forget that you were still in pain because of Yoongi.
"Really?" Namjoon giggle. "I knew it. She was so confident so I don't wanna crush her of it, told ya she's an alpha female," he says, trying to lighten the mood. Namjoon knew you weren't ready to have a heart to heart, especially when you're still getting over Yoongi. He didn't want to step over the boundary as well, as his friendship with you were just blossoming.
Just then, a crowd of people entered the karaoke bar.
You and Namjoon bowed, welcoming them. Both of you let out a big smile but then your smile slowly fades as you realize it was Hoseok, Hyelin and-
Yoongi.
Shit.
"Y/N!!! BABY I MISS YOU SO MUCH!!!" Hyelin yelled, the last you saw her was 3 days ago to grab a drink, just the 2 of you.
Hoseok smile at you and wave cheerfully, also shouting just like Hyelin. They match each other's energy so well. But that guy, that cold tsundere guy, he made you sweat.
Yoongi didn't say anything but his presence behind Hoseok and Hyelin made you heart beats like a drum. You keep you fake persona on, trying to avoid his piercing gaze. Oh you misses him so much. You miss having him listen to your story all day. Though you 2 never touch hands or kiss before, you miss watching how he would focus on his music, producing songs for the seniors on your campus as their final year project which you found hot before.
But.. Yoongi's not your boyfriend anymore and you cannot miss all that. Not when you knew he won't ever fight to be in a relationship with you.
"We literally saw each other 3 days ago Hyelin," you fake a soft laugh. "What bring you guys here anyways..?"
"Oh! We were bored so we though we should visit your workplace! Then maybe do some karaoke too! I haven't warm up my voice for a long time!" Hoseok quips cheerfully. You crack a smile at him. But it was getting hard, because Yoongi was right behind him, staring right at you.
"Oh, sure, sure! Here, this is the package and.."
"How much for an hour?"
Everybody turn to Yoongi.
You gulp. Wow, he really take the breakup well, like you 2 never happen at all.
"Uh, 3000 won for an hour. But if you take 2, you'll get 4500."
Speaking to him after the breakup was hard. You're so relieved that you could at least answer his question in one go. Hoseok, Hyelin and Namjoon banter to look at the both of you. Yoongi took out his wallet and slowly put the money on the counter top, separating you, Namjoon and the 3 of them.
Your hands were shaking, and you avoid eye contact with him, but Namjoon manage to help you and he took over, noticing how nervous you still were around your ex.
"Sure. Here is the key, and.. voila, room 9. You just need to take the left aisle. It's 3 room away from there. Have a nice day guys," Namjoon said, punching the cash registrar and act like nothing happen. Hyelin smirk at this.
Hoseok, who was always clueless about everything smile at Namjoon and pulls Yoongi towards him. Yoongi took the change from Namjoon, barely even glance at you and follow Hoseok and Hyelin to the karaoke room.
"Hey Y/N! Wanna join us??" Hoseok asked. You look at him, Yoongi's back facing you.
"No thank you, I'm working anyways."
Hyelin wink at you. "Alright! Have fun with than dimple hunkie! Thanks Namjoon! Take care of Y/N, ok? She's kind of a naughty girl!"
Hoseok laugh nervously, taking a glance at Yoongi to see if he really did felt nothing. He was right of course, Yoongi's expression was still grim as ever. Maybe his friend already moved on, that's why he doesn't care when he see Namjoon and you laugh earlier.
You bit your lower lip, feeling somewhat sullen that Yoongi didn't show any signs of jealousy towards you and Namjoon's friendship. Namjoon duck his head down, staring at you.
"It's okay Y/N. You're going to get over him. You're a strong girl. You know how Yoongi is.."
"I know. I know him well Joon. Thanks anyway, for helping me earlier."
You stare at Yoongi's back who was disappearing to the karaoke room with your 2 friends.
"You know what's funny Joon?" you turn to Namjoon with a sad smile. Namjoon tilt his head, curious of your question. "When we were in a relationship, he never wanted to go karaoke, he always said he's busy and if I ever planned a date, I need to force him out of bed and drag him around just so I can show people that I had an amazing boyfriend like him. Turns out I was wrong. Seems like he just doesn't wanna go with me."
Namjoon let out a soft sigh. "I've never dated anyone before, so I don't really know what to say if I was in your situation, let alone date someone as quiet and cold as Yoongi.. I'm sorry.. I could only listen to your story.."
You smile at him pathetically. "At least you listen and respond Joonie.. unlike him.."
Namjoon patted your back. He wish he could remove the invisible dagger stabbing your heart. The dagger that Min Yoongi put there.
"Yoongs, let's go to the karaoke bar today! I wanna show you my singing skill! Maybe I can be featured in one of your songs one day! Then I wanted to go eat at that new pastry shop and try their pearl milk tea Hyelin keep bragging about! Can we? Can we??"
You remember how excited you were that day. Finishing class early, coming to visit him at one of the faculty's studio he used to produce his music.
"Karaoke? That place is so loud, I don't like noisy places. Besides, I need to finish my latest track, the seniors need it by the end of the week."
Your smile turn into a frown. "But we haven't gone out much.. I really wanted to try the milk tea.. and take our pictures there to show it to Hoseok and Hyelin.. and everyone else.."
You remember how Yoongi's cold back was still facing you that day.
He ruffle his soft fluffy hair but didn't turn around from his chair to see how sad your expression were."We can just take pictures here.. and why would you wanna show it to anyone anyways? Let's just order the milk tea and told them to send it here, wouldn't that be easier and saves more time then going there? "
You were really upset that day. You just wanted a normal relationship with him just like Hoseok and Hyelin but you tell yourself that maybe Yoongi really need to finish the tracks he was producing. The seniors loves him and called him Prod. Suga. You don't even know why nor question him because Yoongi never talks about all those stuff with you. It's like you're his girlfriend but he has another identity that was isolated from you.
But look at him now. He could make time for karaoke with Hoseok and Hyelin, a noisy place he hates before his breakup with you. It's so obvious that he just doesn't wanna go there back then with you. He's probably ashamed of having someone like you as his girlfriend who likes to show off your relationship.
You let out a disappointed sigh.
I'm sorry for being such a nuisance for you Yoongi. You're free now.
...
The next 2 weeks, a bunch of seniors from Yoongi's faculty came to the karaoke bar. You notice one of them and smile, though you didn't like him that much because he was always troubling Yoongi when you 2 were on your rare date occasion.
"Y/N! Hey gal! Long time no see!" Zhoumi laugh, a bunch of his friends  clinging from behind. You let out a polite smile at him, bowing as he close the gap between the 2 of you. "Hello Sunbaenim, yeah.. it's been a while."
Zhoumi and his friends snickers, making you utterly uncomfortable. Okay, you hate him. He always made Yoongi suffers whenever he can't finish his assignments on time. Plus, he was a real asshole, partying hard each night and sleeping with different girls from different faculty.
"Yeah hahaha, of course. I heard about your breakup with our Prod. Suga. Be strong okay? If Yoongi can move on from it quickly, you can too, eventually, heheh.. besides, we all know how much you like him, right? We know who loves more.. so what I'm trying to say is, you can do it too, fighting Lee Y/N!"
You look at him from across the cash registrar, secretly rolling your eyes at the annoying sarcasm. You don't even know or care what he was talking about, until his friend's laughter died down, waiting for Zhoumi to pay for one of the karaoke room. He took out some money and raise his fingers to 3 hours, waiting for the change.
"You seems quite ok about the whole thing huh? I though you would be more depressed but here you are, acting like everything's fine. Come on Y/N, aren't you jealous that Yoongi moved on a little too quick from you?" Zhoumi daunt you, trying to get a reaction.
But you really had no idea what he was talking about. You know if he did, it must be something that would annoy you cause Zhoumi never liked you anyways-
"I heard Yoongi is going out with that hot chic from one of his classes, Fundamental Of Music 103. Suran I think was her name. Aren't you jealous?"
Your fingers stop punching the cash registrar. What? Going out? And with who? Suran? You never heard of her before.
You calm yourself, trying not to be lured into Zhoumi's irritating antic. "No. Why would I be? He's not my boyfriend anymore. He's free to date anybody he wants to."
You weren't okay. You were definitely, definitely going to ask Hyelin and Hoseok about this later. But right now, you can't let Zhoumi see how you're loosing your cool. Zhoumi took the change you put on the counter top and put it in his wallet.
"Hahah, okay then. See ya. When you see them around, give your best to cheer for the new couple okay? Bye!" Zhoumi adds, purposely trying to make you murder him.
He and his friends made some howling voice, acting like a child and went into the karaoke room they rented. You fidget with your finger, anxious of Zhoumi's word as soon as he left.
Who is this girl? This.. this Suran girl? Is she better? How.. and you don't understand. How could Yoongi date some girl when you 2 just broke up a few weeks ago? Does that means.. he had always set his eyes on this girl or something while you 2 were together?
You need to ask Hyelin about this.
...
You didn't need to ask Hyelin about it. Or Hoseok.
People are just so cruel, and you end up knowing about it a few days later after all. Somehow, after Zhoumi's shocking news about Yoongi going out with that girl Suran's rumor, you started seeing the 2 of them around when you went to college. Garam, that sneaky little girl keep on updating everyone, especially you about Yoongi's new love.
Shin Suran. Music Major. Had a beautiful voice as the sweetest nightingale. Yoongi's classmate in Fundamental Of Music 103. Calm and quiet. Can play the ukulele, guitar and piano. Beautiful, talented, kind and a good singer. Had a light caramel hair color. The female versionof Yoongi.
She's so perfect. You want to hate her, but when you tick all the right boxes for Yoongi's ideal types, her against you, she wins. An absolute win.
It made you nervous. It made you want to avoid seeing him at all. You were just trying to recover from him, and this news came as a great shock to you. As far as you know, Yoongi never had a close relationship with any girl before. He was quiet and keep to himself most of the time, the only girl who dare talking to him was you. But maybe you were wrong about him. Maybe you were the one he was keeping out of his world. And maybe you didn't know him at all, even after dating him for 2 years.
Hyelin nudge you softly, waving in front of you who was staring into your own thoughts.
"Hey, sorry that I didn't tell you about that Suran girl before.. it also gave me a great shock, and Hoseok too. Hoseok said he also knew nothing of the girl," Hyelin told you sorrily.
You let out a fake smile. "It's okay, really! I just.. it was shocking you know. Never knew Yoongi and her was close before. And suddenly after.. well.. our breakup, he was hanging around her the entire time."
Hyelin stare into your eyes. "I know how you feel about this whole thing Y/N, you still love him, don't you dare deny it. Just.. stay strong ok babe? If you need anything, just call me or Hoseok or oh! Namjoon! He's a cutie. Why don't you try and ask him out? Namjoon seems very interested in you~"
"Namjoon's  just a friend to me Hyelin. Besides, I don't want to do that to him. He can't be my rebound just because I can't get over that heartless guy. I just don't need to see him around, easy. Especially with his new girl-"
And then you saw him with her before you could finish talking.
They were walking side by side, Yoongi smiling at something Suran was saying. You never see him smile that wide, a new kind of smile, a gummy smile. Yoongi was wearing a black leather jacket and a baseball cap, new pair of jeans that seems overdressed which he never wears when he's with you. Suran on the other hand was wearing a white summer dress, short black leather jacket wrapped around her top, paired with some black boots. Her neck sparkled with a bunch of necklace, shining from the sunlight.
They look like the power couple of the campus.
Hyelin grit her teeth as she look at how upset you were, looking away from the 2. She went beside and shield you from looking at Yoongi and Suran pathetically. "There, there, just.. don't look! If you don't look, you won't even know that they're here!"
You smile at her thankfully. You proceed to play with your drinks, waiting for you next class with Hyelin and hide yourself on the picnic table among the other student from being seen by Yoongi or Suran.
But then Hoseok ruined it by yelling at you and Hyelin from across the park. "Jagi! Y/N!"
You glare at Hyelin, "Your boyfriend's voice is really not helpful sometimes."
She mutters a soft sorry and raise her shoulder, feeling guilty at you. You didn't notice this, but as soon as he heard your name, Yoongi stops talking to Suran and look at Hoseok's direction. He turn to look at where Hoseok was waving at and find you and Hyelin sitting at one of the picnic table, where you haven't hang out with both of them after the breakup.
Automatically, his feet made his way to the picnic table as well. Suran call for him in confusion, "Yoongi? Where are you going? The new studio is this way."
Yoongi turn to her. "Oh, sorry Suran. I saw my friends there. I'm gonna greet them for a minute. You can go first, I'll catch up later."
Suran smiles. "Your friends? Wow. Is it just me who doesn't know who your friends are or have I been joining to many club activities to not know that you even have one?" She giggles before adding, "Who would have though the cold introvert music genius Min Yoongi had friends? Introduce me! I wanna know them as well! They must be quiet people like you huh? Since you hate mingling with people who likes to talk a lot!"
Yoongi didn't say anything yet he just smile at her curiosity. "Sure, let me introduce you to my friends. You would be shocked of what kind of circle I'm actually with."
"Hey Jagi! Y/N! Listen listen, I had something to tell you guys!" Hoseok said cheerfully. You let out a soft laugh. "What? That your birthday is in 3 days?"
Hoseok gasp, shocked that you remember while Hyelin giggle at him, pinching his squishy cheeks. "Wait wait wait, how did you..? HAAA, you remember Y/N?! I FEEL SO LOVED RIGHT NOW!!"
You beam a smile at him. "I remember everyone's birthday Hoseok, oh my god, don't be so dramatic!" you laugh at Hoseok's reaction. Hyelin nods. "Yeah babe, Y/N's good at numbers, so she basically remember everything especially after I told her about the birthday dinner you're trying to throw."
Hoseok gasps again, this time, with a pout.
"WHAT?? Aww! You already told her that? I wanna be the one telling her about my birthday dinner!" he sulks but Hyelin cup his cheeks. "Babe! I didn't tell the details, that you can do! I only told her that she's invited awww I'd never betray my baby.."
They're a perfect math. No wonder Hoseok and Hyelin suit each other well. It got you thinking again. About how things didn't work between you and Yoongi. You let out a sigh, again, remembering how you try your best to celebrate Yoongi's birthday with you for the past 2 years.
"Surprise! Happy Birthday Yoongibear!" you yelled as he enters the small studio, looking tired and dreadful.
Yoongi's expression didn't change. He look at the cute strawberry shortcake you made, a single candle lighting up in the center. You look so merry that day, planning the whole thing with Hoseok and Hyelin.
Hoseok and Hyelin leave it all to you after that, as you wanted to celebrate with Yoongi alone. You just wanted to be alone with him just for today, his birthday. Yoongi put his bag pack on the couch and let out a thin smile, walking towards you.
"Come on Yoongibear, blow out the candles!" you told him, seeing how he hesitates to do it at first. He stares at the cake for a long time.
"Do I have to? I mean, I'm an adult, this is so childish.." he mutters softly but you were stubborn, wanting him to feel how special this day is for the both of you.
"Aww pleaseeeee?? I made this cake myself you know! It was just once a year! And it's your special day! Come on, quick, quick!" you told him. Yoongi let out a heavy sigh and finally blew the candles as per your wish.
"Yeay! Happy birthday Yoongibear, here, have a slice for good luck, I-"
"I don't like sweets Y/N. Thank you.. for the cake, I really appreciate it but I can't eat it. Maybe you can give it to Hoseok or Hyelin. And please be careful when you leave, I didn't want the seniors nagging at me if they found the fondants smudging the studio," he told you strictly.
"Y/N?"
Hyelin's voice wake you up from your thoughts. "Oh, sorry, you were saying?" you ask her but the memory that you just replay in your mind made your heart ache, because you finally realize Yoongi never appreciates whatever you did for him, unlike Hoseok.
"I was saying, that my parents were arranging some kind of birthday dinner at this diner near my house, and you are invited my friend. It would be so fun! Don't you worry, everything is payed beforehand so you just need to come and I, Jung Hoseok, the birthday dude allowed you to bring a plus one as your date! I love birthdays! Especially mine! Right Jagi?!" Hoseok announce which made Hyelin laugh at his cuteness.
You contemplate for a second and agree to come, because you loved Hoseok too much. You wanted to ask if he invited Yoongi as well, but then a shadow looms over you. You turn around, just to find Yoongi standing behind you, Suran trailing after him with a sweet smile.
"Hey guys," he said, his deep voice making you feel goosebumps all over. You gulp, avoiding to look into his eyes and turn your back facing him again.
Hyelin wanted to scratch his face, but Hoseok put his arm around her quickly. "Hey Yoongs! Hi.. uh.. Suran.. right??"
Suran nods. "Yeah, wait how did you guys know me?"
Hyelin glare at her. She scoffs, "Who doesn't? EVERYBODY is talking about how you're going out with this ass- ommf!"
"-Of course we know you! You're Yoongi's classmate right?? Nice to meet you Suran! I'm Hoseok, this cutie over here is my girlfriend, Hyelin and this is Y/N!" Hoseok said, covering Hyelin's outburst with his hands.
Hoseok knew you were upset, he's not that much of an idiot to not notice the way you avoid eye contact with Yoongi or even acknowledge Suran in the room right now. He just didn't want things to be awkward, especially if Suran is someone important to Yoongi which he himself isn't sure if Yoongi is dating her right now.
"Oh hi! Nice to meet you all. I'm sorry, I asked Yoongi to introduced me but you knew how he is, so I follow him here to get to know you guys as well! I hope we can be good friends!" Suran said, not noticing how the air between all 4 of you were different.
"Sure! Sure! Uh actually-"
"What's this talk about your birthday dinner?" Yoongi asked suddenly.
You didn't look at him, drinking your smoothie and staring at your shoes the whole time so you didn't have to talk. Hyelin wanted to say that he wasn't invited but once again, Hoseok let out a nervous laugh.
"Oh! I was just about to ask you, I'm having my birthday dinner party at the diner my parent arrange for! But I know you're quite busy sometimes Yoongs, so I don't mind if you can't come-"
"I'll go."
"Huh?"
"What?"
Hoseok and Hyelin stare at him with wide eyes. You were shocked as well, but hold yourself back from turning to him. "I'm going, I can't miss my best friend's birthday party."
Hoseok gaps for the 3rd time. "Really?? Yoongs! My buddy! Alright, alright! I can't believe it! I can't believe you're making time for my birthday party! This is gonna be the best birthday ever! Wohoo!"
Hyelin crosses her arm. Suran smile at the 2 and look at Yoongi as well. "Can I come? I mean.. I wanted to get to know you guys well.. seeing how important you all are to Yoongi," Suran asked with so much gentle and politeness in her voice.
Hyelin's face went from 'WTF' to 'How dare you ask such question' but Hoseok answers before she could even say any of her thoughts, "Sure! Of course.. uh.. you can come! If you didn't know the place, you can.. uh.. come with Yoongi? I don't know.. Ah!"
Hyelin pinches his arms and puckered her lips at your expression which is turning sour as the conversation begin to focus on your ex boyfriend and another girl. But Suran didn't notice this, thinking everything was cool between all of you and reach for Yoongi's arm, linking it with her casually.
"Sure! I'll come as Yoongi's plus one hehe," she giggles jokingly but her action made Hoseok and Hyelin uncomfortable as hell.
"Uh guys, I'll go first, my class is starting soon. See ya." you break the silence and get up, turning the other way so you don't have to see how another girl is being cozy with the guy your heart still belongs too.
Yoongi watch you walk away, your shoulder slump, a cloud on your head. "Y/N is such a quiet person isn't she? She looks nice," Suran told him but Yoongi let out a soft sigh.
Only he knew the truth about how you really are.
...
The day of the dinner came.
You wanted to tell Hyelin and Hoseok countless of times that you weren't going, but that would be immature of you, cause if you don't, that'll just make Yoongi's pride bigger since he would think that you're avoiding him because you're still in love with him.
Yes, you still do so what? Aish! Whatever!
So you decide that you're going cause you can't avoid them forever. Yoongi is still friends with Hoseok and Hoseok will forever be Hyelin's only boyfriend.
And here you are, sitting across Yoongi and Suran without your plus one Namjoon, looking like a loser. You did invite Namjoon, but he told you he had to look after the karaoke bar cause they don't have enough crew. You didn't want to force him, after all it would be petty of you to do that just because Yoongi's bringing Suran around.
You didn't look at him the whole evening, though you sit across each other. You were focusing on your food, without talking to anybody, even Hyelin. You though it would just be the 5 of you, but surprisingly, Zhoumi, that annoying senior who likes to bother Yoongi was also invited. Hoseok didn't invite him because he wants to, Hyelin told you that but it was because he overheard how Suran was so excited about the birthday party with Yoongi's friends so he decide to invite himself.
And Hoseok was too nice to drive him away.
"You had a nice circle of friend Prod. Suga! WOW! I like this atmosphere!" Zhoumi babbles annoyingly, sitting beside Yoongi. Yoongi grins softly. Hoseok and Hyelin looks very uncomfortable with him since they knew how you much you despise him.
"Thank Sunbaenim," Yoongi answers shortly.
You didn't know whether Yoongi was looking at you or not, but you didn't dare to look into his eyes let alone have a normal conversation with him. You wonder, does Suran knows about your past relationship with him? She looks so casual about everything. Maybe Yoongi didn't want to let her know since it would jeopardize their new relationship. Yeah, that must be it.
"So! It's time for the cake! Let's sing happy birthday to my wonderful baby! Thank you for being born! I love you so much Hobie babyyyy~!" Hyelin ease the tension, diverting it to the birthday boy.
You smile weakly, not noticing how Yoongi was giving you a slight glance.
"Thank you! Thank you so much guys, for being here! Jagi! I love you too!"  Hoseok yelled, utterly happy with the environment. He was. You weren't.
When the ceremony was over, Hyelin cut the cake into small pieces and hand it out to everybody. You wanted to reach one of the plate but suddenly Yoongi reach for it first, quietly giving the plate of cake to you. You felt awkward, but then you saw him handing out the plate to Zhoumi and Suran as well.
Oh, it's just out of politeness you guess.
You didn't think much of it. So you begin to eat the cake in silence. That's when you hear Suran quirked, "this cake is so good! Mm! Yoongi, have some, here."
Suran put a spoonful of cake in Yoongi's mouth. Hyelin and Hoseok look at you while Zhoumi smirk, noticing how your expression turn bitter. Yoongi hates cake. He hates sweet stuff. But why did he eat that cake when it was Suran who force him to?
You hate yourself. Hate how Suran's existence keeps reminding you how Yoongi never want to do all that stuff with you before because he didn't love you. "Thanks, but that's enough. I'm full, thanks Suran."
You clenched your first, nails digging into your palm under the table. Hyelin and Hoseok look at each other guiltily. Then, the night gets much worst. When the main course arrive, you guys were really starving. You weren't a picky eater, but what you hate about the whole damn meal was that it consist of shrimp and perilla leaf.
Another flashback came into your mind.
"Yoongibear! If we were eating out together and there's a girl, let's say.. it's one of my friend wants you to peel a perilla leaf for them or ah! Shrimps! Would you do it??"
Yoongi look at you, putting his iced americano down. You waited with a smile, anticipating his answer.
"Why would I?"
That answer made your whole day. You look at him lovingly, "Really?? Wait, but why? Because you're scared that I might get jealous? hehe~"
Yoongi's eyebrow wrinkled. "No. Just think logically Y/N. If a girl at our age can't peel shrimp or perilla leaf by herself, doesn't that mean something's wrong with them? Anyhow, I don't think that person deserve to eat shrimps or perilla leaf if they're too lazy to peel it by themselves."
You hadn't expected that clever answer, but Yoongi was right. You weren't that upset at the time, but looking at how Suran was struggling with the perilla leaf and Yoongi picking it up for her, their chopstick collide against each other made you awfully weary.
"WoOoOoO! Is this another one of those perilla leaf to wedding love k-drama?! I like it! You guys are going to be the most awesome, powerhouse couple this year!!" Zhoumi's voice boomed throughout the whole diner.
"Excuse me, can you shut the fuck up? There's people in here.. SUN.BAE.NIM." Hyelin glared at him but Zhoumi shrug his shoulder, muttering 'I'm sorry' with a not so sorry face. Hyelin is really untactful, even if Zhoumi is feared and respected because he's a senior, she doesn't give a 2 fucks because she knows Zhoumi's toxic trait which to annoy you.
You never knew why, but Zhoumi had always hated your relationship with Yoongi. But Yoongi never knew that.. and he never had your back.. since he LOVES this toxic senior of him so much.
"What are you talking about Sunbaenim, Yoongi was just helping me out of politeness. Right Yoongi?" Suran nudged him, which Yoongi replied with a quiet hum.
You bit you cheek to the inside. How can he sit there and act so cool all the while breaking your heart?! Fuck him. Fuck her. Fuck everybody!
Hyelin held your hands under the table. You look at her and gave her the 'I'm okay' look. You weren't actually. And Hyelin knew that but god, you just need to make it through the night. You resume eating, trying to peel some shrimp in your plate since you love it so much.
But out of nowhere, a milky hand placed a bunch of peeled shrimp in your plate.
You lift your head, finally gazing into Yoongi's eyes. He stares into yours with an unreadable look while muttering, "You take too long to peel one, just have the ones I peeled."
Everybody stares at the 2 of you. Even Hoseok and Hyelin, who was feeding each other pause in surprised. Your heart beats faster, not knowing why Yoongi did that even that you've broke up.
Sure, when he was still your boyfriend he did stuff like this and it made your heart flutters but not now. He didn't realize it, but Yoongi just made you feel worthless.
Is he looking down on you?
"Thanks, but no thank you. I rather peel MY shrimp by MY self," you said passively, putting the shrimps back in his plate. Yoongi stare at you quietly. There was like a storm brewing in you eyes. Like you want him but at the same time you don't.
Yoongi didn't push the matter further, but he remind you, "Well you better be quick, the place will be closed before you even get to eat your bowl of rice."
Zhoumi laugh out loud, thinking it was such a sarcastic joke while Suran joined in, laughing cluelessly. Hoseok and Hyelin bit their lips, noticing how you were close to crying but remind yourself you're not going to do that in front of him.
You have no appetite to eat anymore. But you force yourself in front of him. You're not weak! What? Just because he's no longer with you he can make fun of your feelings now? Fuck you Min Yoongi!
Hoseok and Hyelin felt so sorry towards you, because what should have been a day for the 3 of you to hang out, became the day you felt as if your feelings never mattered to Yoongi. You wanted to go home, but Suran and Hyelin begged you to stay for one more game before you left and you end up staying. What a stupid decision it was.
The next game were truth and dare and Zhoumi's question towards Yoongi were really just to add the cut in your heart. Yoongi chooses truth. And the question Zhoumi ask him were so outrageous he might go home with a blacked eye by Hyelin tonight.
"Are you seeing anyone right now Prod. Suga? And is she here?"
Hoseok grit his teeth nervously, while Hyelin look at you in pity. Yoongi smile to himself, a long pause on his lips, before confessing, "No, I'm not seeing anyone, but she's here."
Those confession made Suran blush furiously. You saw it with your own eyes. You felt like crying. Why is he so cruel? Must he say this in front of you?? You had just broke up less than 2 months ago! Yoongi is such a cold and heartless guy. You regret having to pour your whole heart out for him for 2 years! 2 Years!
"This game is getting boring, I'll step outside to get some fresh air," Yoongi announced after the shocking confession towards Suran. You stayed quiet at the table, realizing how your hands were trembling with heartbreak. Zhoumi giggle at your expression.
"I'm going to the ladies, be back in a hurry hehe," Suran excused herself, standing up and make her way towards the washroom.
It was just you, Hoseok, Hyelin and Zhoumi left. You 3 wanted to gossip so bad but Zhoumi was there, eating and not caring at all to what he just did.
"Did you just hear that guys? Yoongi's so into Suran now. Sorry about your relationship with him Y/N," Zhoumi fake an expression. Hyelin gaze at the toxic man with furious eyes. "Can you shut the fuck up?! You- if you weren't Yoongi's friend, I would have kicked your balls right this instance! Get out, get the fuck out! You are banned from ever going near us!!" Hyelin yelled, Hoseok trying to stop her from making a scene.
"No, he's right guys.." you said softly, feeling the energy draining you. Hyelin, Hoseok and Zhoumi look at you. "I- I'll go home first. Can you send my goodnight to Yoongi and Suran? Thanks guys, for tonight. Good night."
You pick up your purse and heard Hoseok and Hyelin yells for you to come back but when you step out, the scene in front of you immediately make you cry.
Yoongi was leaning his back again the wall of the diner, while Suran was leaning in to kiss him, cupping her delicate hands on his cheeks. Their lips were so close to each other when they notice you standing there, accidentally staring at the 2 of them. They stop and turn to you, your heart beating so fast in your chest, as if you had caught a forbidden love.
"Oh- I- I'm sorry," you said, shaking at the sigh and run the other way, tears already streaming down your cheek.
"Wait, Y/N! Wait!"
Yoongi let go of Suran's hand and chase after you from behind but it was dark and you were nowhere in sight. He raked his hair in frustration, kicking the small pebble in front of him.
"Dammit!!"
...
You arrive home a few hours after bawling your eyes out at the park near your apartment. It was 3 in the morning, but the tears and heartbreak wouldn't stop no matter what you did. You love him, you still love Yoongi. You wanted him, you wanted him to treat you just how did Suran, you want it all, you want to share your first kiss with him but he doesn't love you.. he DOESN'T LOVE YOU!
WHY?
Why.. just why.. you cried to yourself, wiping the tears with the sleeve of your trench coat.
After a long walk, you finally arrive at your apartment. You were sniffing when you found out a huge lump was sitting on the stairs to your doorstep. You took a step back when you notice it was Yoongi, tapping his legs anxiously.
When he heard your sniffing, Yoongi immediately turn his head towards your direction and stand up. In all his black outfit and black coat, just like that grim reaper from Goblin, he walks towards you in a hurry. You were expecting a scolding or whatsoever he wanted to say but he hugs you.
Min Yoongi, the cold tsundere is hugging you.
He felt so warm. You were utterly confused. What is happening? You shuffle to break out of the hug when you heard his voice on top of your head, "be still for a while, I miss you so much. You make me so worried Lee Y/N."
What? Misses you?
You scoffed. "What are you talking about? Are you ill? Or are you drunk? Let me go Yoongi, we're not together anymore! Making fun of my feeling! Do you think it's funny?! Go to your Suran- she must be waiting for you-"
"You date me when you want me, and break up with me when you don't want me. Don't you think I get to have a say in our relationship too?" Yoongi asked. You were confused. He didn't answer your accusation and instead say something that didn't make sense.
"What relationship Yoongi?? We're over! You- you, you don't love me! Just go! I don't want to see you! Let me- let me go!" you cried, overstimulated. You felt so weak, and Yoongi was so strong even if he has a frail body. He didn't let you out of the hug.
Didn't he hate you? Why did he wait for you and make you feel like a fool? Why gave you a fake hope when all he wants is to get out of this one sided relationship?
He was still wrapping his arms around your small body, lips close to your forehead. "Since when have I ever say that Y/N? Why do you always assume everything by yourself? And I admit, I am wrong as well. I know, I don't show my feelings much, but what? If I didn't show my feelings or say how much I love you, it doesn't mean that I don't feel anything. I'm just bad at expressing my love. I do love you. I love you so much Lee Y/N. Why do you break up with me and think it's ok to avoid me and made me think anxiously about you everyday since the break up huh?"
You stop trying to get out of his embrace, processing his words. "What? No, no, you don't get to come here and say all this stuff just because you felt sorry- because of how I saw you almost kiss Suran-"
Yoongi separate himself from you but still keep you close, cupping your tears strained cheeks with his cold hands. "You don't believe me? I could show you in another way."
Then he gave you your first kiss.
You had waited so long for this. You had waited so long for Yoongi to make the first move during your relationship but he never did. But now he finally did, in the most unexpected time span ever.
He felt nice. Like marshmallow and coffee and shrimps. The way he moves his lips on yours were so gentle and careful. You kiss him back, missing him with your whole existence.
You broke the kiss to get some air while Yoongi pants, wanting more of your sweet lips. You stare into his eyes and now that you look carefully, his always cold eyes show something. A longing, missing stare. He look into yours, before pouring the real things he kept in his heart.
"I wanted to tell you that day when you asked for the breakup about how you were wrong," he explains. "But you didn't try to listen, and rush out of the coffee shop in a hurry. I wanted to tell you.. that the relationship is never one sided, that I had always love you even though I didn't show it often. My Mom knows about you. I didn't tell anyone about you because why would I want nobody important to know? It's enough for me that my Mom, Hoseok and Hyelin were the only ones to know of how much I'm in love with you. I don't want anyone else to look at you, or know anything about you because you're mine. I'm posessive of you."
His confession made your heart pumps louder, you eyes getting teary. Yoongi never said more than 10 sentences when he went out with you, especially embarrassing, cringy stuff like this. He held you close once again, and reach for your hands in his.
"Why do you think I went to the karaoke bar with Hoseok and Hyelin, knowing how much I hate noisy places? I just.. I just wanted to see you. I heard from the guys that you were close with that Namjoon guy from math club so I had to see it for myself. And I was disappointed when I found out how easy you moved on from our breakup. Does 2 years meant nothing to you at all?" he ask which you found ridiculous.
"Of course it matters! And Namjoon's just a friend.. but you! You and Suran! You were the one who seems to have moved  on from me! You were always with her, so I though.. it must be true! That you- that you never love me! You show so much expression when you're with her than the 2 years with me.. what was I suppose to think Yoongi?" you sniffed harder, Yoongi looking at you guiltily.
"You- you never ate cakes before but you did with her! You- you even peeled her perilla leaf! I- I hate it! I hate the way you smile gummily when she says something! You never did that with me! And tonight, what? You confess that you weren't seeing anybody but the girl you love is there with us. I know it's Suran-"
Yoongi chuckle at you, "Baby it's you."
You look at him under your teary eyes. "What?"
"I was talking about you, Y/N." Yoongi take your hand and kisses it, caressing your cheeks with his thumb.
"I'm sorry, it's my fault for sending mixed signal. Ah- have I known my girl is this jealous and insecure, I wouldn't have been friends with people the opposite gender. I didn't eat the cake you made because I can't eat sweets, not because I don't want to. I never told anyone this.. but sugar makes me dizzy, and I don't want to look weak in front of my girl. Like right now, I'm still dizzy from the cake Suran forced me to eat, but I wanted to be seen as a man in front of you. I'm so sorry that it seems like I didn't appreciate the cake you made for me baby," he told you, his voice soft and careful.
He kisses each one of your finger, his display of affection made you shocked. Is this the Yoongi you had always know? Had he always been this.. loving?
"Suran was struggling with the perilla leaf, and it didn't matter much to me because she was my friend and if Zhoumi saw me not helping her, he would made up some rumors so the seniors won't let me use the studio anymore. I'm sorry Y/N, I'm so sorry baby. I have hurt your heart so much before, especially tonight. At least I get to peel the shrimps for you, I know how much you love it although in the end you turn down my handwork," Yoongi adds, smiling sadly at the earlier event.
You stare at him, seeing how he try to rubbed your hand and warm you from the cold.
"What about the kiss? Why did you try to kiss Suran earlier? You say you were thinking about me the whole time but what was that all about??" you ask him jealously. Yoongi put a strand of hair behind your ear and held your right cheeks.
"She confesses about how much she likes me and after that, attempt to kiss me but I told her that I'm still in love with you. Of course, Suran doesn't know about us before so I told her everything after you ran away from us. She felt so guilty, she also tried to look for you earlier but I told her to go home. Oh baby, you make me so worried you know that? What would I do if something ever happens to you huh?? I would probably never love again."
That was so romantic. You can't help but feel those fluttering in your stomach because you weren't used to Yoongi's sweet words.
"I'm sorry Y/N, I really am. I'm sorry that for the past 2 years, I had made you feel that this relationship is one sided because of my indifference. I'm sorry that I never tell you how I truly felt about you. I'm sorry that I'm not showy about us. Please know that it never was, I'm sorry for the misunderstanding I had cause all these while.." he explain, apologizing for the 1st time.
"I'm not good with words, I'm not good at playing the boyfriend material role like Hoseok did. I'm not good at planning dates, or telling funny jokes but I promise you, I will protect you with my life. I'm sorry that I never tell you of how much I love you, because I though you already know that even if I didn't say it," he adds, his heartful confession made you pouts sadly.
You reach for his face, staring into his eyes.
"Yoongibear.. I wanted you to know, that it's ok to say that you love me sometimes. It's ok if you can't be like Hoseok 100%. I wanted you to be you, not like any other guy. That's why I choose you. I think of you Yoongi. I always did. I still did. I just.. I needed you to assure me, even just for once in a lifetime, that you also feel the same. I always though that you regret having to be agreed my boyfriend-"
"How can I regret you when I know that I can't forget you hmm? I agree to be your boyfriend because I want to, and I love you or else I would have never agree to it in the 1st place baby," he informed you, smiling at you lovingly.
You can feel more tears of happiness trying to spill but Yoongi immediately wipe them with his thumbs, pressing your head to his chest.
"Don't cry, please. I hate it when I made you cry.  Especially that night when you asked for the breakup. I know you cried on your way back, that's why you rushed out. I followed you home after that."
You paused. "Really..? What.. why would you do that?"
Yoongi smile to himself. Maybe it's time for him to reveal everything if he ever wants you back. "Y/N.. I followed you back every night just to make sure you get home safe. Even that you never notice it."
You wipe your tears and finally give in to him, hugging his waist. "I love you so much Yoongi. You cold, heartless guy. I went through a lot because of you-"
"Would you be my girlfriend again Lee Y/N?"
His question made you grin to himself. You paused, purposely making him anxious. "I don't know.. would you want to be my boyfriend again? I'm a jealous, petty girl-"
"Shut up before I kiss you," he jokes lightly, earning a giggle from you. Both of you finally clear the misunderstanding that had been bothering you for a long time. Now , you're going to start anew with Yoongi. Your Yoongi.
"Oh, before I forget, wear this," he said, slipping the couple ring you return to him on your finger. You gasps, "You still have it? But you never wear yours!"
Yoongi kisses your forehead. "See? You never notice it didn't you? I wear it on my neck baby. I lost it once and couldn't sleep when my Mom found it at the sink, I must have left there while washing the dishes. I didn't wear it on my finger because I didn't want to lose the precious item I share with my sweet, clingy girl, not because I'm ashamed of you."
You punch his chest gently while Yoongi run his finger through your hair. You and him have never felt so close and so loved towards each other before and this night, everything fits perfectly again.
"Yoongibear.." you called for him cutely.
Yoongi turn to you, humming. "Would you.." you paused and smiled at him like a fox.
"-Like to come in and eat some ramyeon?"
Yoongi was so calm. He let out a soft smile, while you wait for his answer. "I don't like ramyeon, so no thank you."
You let out a huff and stomp your feet, "Ah! That's not what I meant!"
He chuckle at your cute gesture. Tilting his head to the side, he replied, "You'd be pretty flustered if I actually played along baby."
Your face went red. Woah. So he does know what it means. You love what Yoongi and you had now. He is finally opening up to you slowly. "Hehe, I though you didn't know what it means. I'm just joking," you told him again.
He stares at you with a grin. "Baby, wanna know a fun fact?"
"Erm, what is it?" you quickly nods, happy that he's finally starting to drag the conversation. Yoongi played with your hair.
"When we have kids, they could go around telling people they were prod. by Suga."
You laugh at this and the both of you know, you would be laughing the whole night.
🌸
785 notes · View notes
bubblesuga · 2 years
Text
Keep Driving
Summary: On a road trip in the states, the reader and Yoongi find out they both want to be more than friends. genre: fluff, smut, idol!au Word Count: 4k
A/N: Harry Styles released a golden album filled with songs I could easily write stories to sooooo I'm excited to write more lol
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His feet rest on the dashboard of a rental vehicle you found in Vermont. He snores softly, almost harmonizing with the hum of the engine while you slow to a stop in the first neighborhood you've seen in four hours.
You take a moment to look at him, the curve of his cheeks keeping you in tune with the world. He looks so peaceful, like nothing has ever gone wrong for him and there's something about the way his lips rest upward that makes you think that everything will be okay.
The light turns green and you press on the gas, double checking the GPS to make sure you were going in the right direction.
When Yoongi approached you with the idea of a road trip across the americas, you thought he was messing with you. Yoongi isn't and never has been the type to want to leave the defining comfort of his own home and explore. There's been countless times that you would come to check on Yoongi only to find him asleep in front of whatever project he decided to pursue that month. He was always most comfortable with his own things, in his own world.
So, of course you said yes to coming with him. Missing a chance to see Min Yoongi explore the world outside of his job obligations? There's no way you'd ever risk that.
The complication comes with the budding feelings you've been having for him. It has thrown you entirely off guard. One minute you're sitting across from him in school, thinking of him like a brother and the next you're sat beside him in a place you've never been, exploring a different continent. You could try and pin point exactly when it began but you know the point would be moot seeing as it's already happened. You're already picturing him peppering kisses across your face while you hold him close to you. The worst part is, you know he still sees you as a friend.
Drifting to a stop in front of an old historic hotel near the French Quarters of New Orleans, you take the opportunity to try and wake Yoongi. Your hand reaches out and shakes Yoongi's shoulder softly. He stirs, then doesn't budge. Your hand slips from his shoulder onto his neck. His skin feels warm and inviting compared to the coolness of your fingertips. You were hoping the cold would make him wake but alas, he continues to sleep.
"Yoongi," you say gently, "we're at the hotel."
Yoongi finally turns, opening only his right eye, "You know, you should really use those hand warmers we bought in New York."
"Why would I do that? I can just--" you cut yourself off by slipping your hands between Yoongi's jacket and his shirt, hearing him squak at the newfound cold against his clothed torso.
He jumps out of the car in an instant, leaning down to give you a glare. You only smile back, having completed your mission of getting him out of the car.
"So," you say, "what name are we using this time? Ben? Trevor? Miguel?"
Yoongi's creativity with his fake names has impressed you. Of course he can't check into every hotel under Min Yoongi. You're sure someone eventually will catch up to the idea that Yoongi is in America and suddenly you're both regretting the fact that you didn't bring along security. He insisted on it just being you two, though. Seeing as he hasn't been genuinely alone in nearly a decade.
Yoongi chuckles at your name suggestions, "Since we're in New Orleans, I say we go French," he jumps in front of your path while you walk, waving his hand in rainbow shape while he speaks, "Mr. and Mrs. Jacques Cousteau."
Your heart thumps at the fact that you're playing house with him. Sure it's just some fun way to fool the desk clerk but you feel as though you want to play into this fantasy more than you want Yoongi to know.
Raising an eyebrow and pushing the excitement down as far as you can, you speak, "Jacques Cousteau? Like the French Explorer?"
Yoongi's cheeks redden slightly, "Just go with it."
"Ah, so we're married now?" you continue to walk towards the grand gold-lined doors, "what are we? 10 years in and beginning to loathe each other?"
"Definitely not," he responds, "honey moon. I want the nicest suite they offer considering we'll be spending the most nights in this city."
You raise an eyebrow as he rushes in front of you to open the door. You enter the foyer and marvel at the intricate details in the walls. You don't get the chance to stare for long, because Yoongi puts his arm around your waist and leans towards your ear. "Play it up."
"What?" your eyes go wide as Yoongi presses a kiss to your cheek while you both reach the front desk.
"Good evening, welcome to Ritz-Carlton. What can I do for you two?" the desk clerk greets you two while Yoongi's grip around you tightens. You nearly yelp but hold back, resting your head on his shoulder.
"My wife and I would like the nicest suite you have," Yoongi says. His English has improved significantly in the passed few years, making this trip a breeze, "we are celebrating our honey moon."
"Oh, congratulations! Let me see what we have available." the woman says, turning to her computer. While she looks, Yoongi turns to you and presses his forehead to yours. You inhale as he grins, and for a split second you think he's going to kiss you. His lips get awfully close to yours, but he swipes passed your them and towards your ear, "Be more into it."
This confuses you. You swore you couldn't act more in love with him, considering the fact that you're not necessarily faking it. He spots your confusion and whispers, "I'm going to peck your lips."
Before you get the chance to respond, Yoongi raises his hand to your cheek and swipes away your words. Pressing a small, quick, kiss to your lips, he pulls away and sends you a wink.
"Okay, Mr..."
"Jacques Coustea." Yoongi fills the clerk in. You bite back a giggle.
"...Right," she laughs, "we do have our top level suite available. It comes with both a shower and a bathtub, a view of the city, and a private hot tub."
"We'll take it." Yoongi says, pulling out his wallet. As he checks in, you take a moment to step away. Your face is flushed, you can feel it. You never expected Yoongi to kiss you just to sell a point to a person you two will never see again. You lift your fingertips to your lips, a smile taking over your face. His lips were unexpectedly soft, they tasted sweet like the licorice he was munching on in the car. The split second kiss has somehow affected your entire body. Yoongi doesn't know it, but he just made this way more complicated than before.
Before you know it, Yoongi is grabbing your hand and pulling you towards the elevator. He laces his fingers through yours while you wait for the elevator. Your palms are sweaty but he doesn't seem to care, using his thumb to gently swipe along your knuckles.
As soon as you enter the lift, Yoongi's hand slips from yours.
"I can't believe we fooled them," he chuckles, "she totally thought we were in love."
Your smile fades ever so slightly. Breathing deep, you look towards your slightly distorted reflection in the shiny walls of the elevator, "Yeah. Who would have thought we would make such a convincing couple?"
Yoongi grins, "It was the kiss," the elevator doors open and Yoongi leads you out as he continues, "you can't be unconvinced about such a simple kiss."
"What do you mean?" you laugh, dragging your bag close behind you. The hallway is long but you can see the double doors to the suit at the end. The doors are so big that you almost think they lead to a ballroom of sorts. You read online that New Orleans was filled with 200 year old dance halls.
"Well, it would have been much less convincing if I stuck my tongue down your throat in the middle of the lobby. Normal couples keep their PDA to a minimum."
"I don't know," you shrug while Yoongi puts the key against the door, "I've seen plenty of couples practically dry humping in public."
Yoongi pauses after he cracks the door open and turns to you with an eyebrow raised, "Would you have preferred I'd done that?"
"W- what? No!"
He laughs, pushing the door open and revealing a gorgeous foyer. You rush passed him, dropping your bags onto the floor and taking in the room. It's the nicest room you've ever been in. A soft couch sits in the center with an 80 inch television against the wall. You collapse onto the couch and sigh happily.
"You've outdone yourself, Min Yoongi." A moan falls from your lips while you stretch across the couch. Yoongi points to the door to your left, "You haven't even seen the room yet."
Pulling yourself up, you rush towards Yoongi and throw open the door to the bedroom, revealing a King Size bed with satin sheets. Turning back to Yoongi with your jaw agape, he only leans against the wall and smiles.
You turn back with a grin and throw yourself onto the bed. You writhe against the softest duvet you have ever felt and arch your back with another appreciative moan. The bed has made you completely forget the earlier heat Yoongi gave you at the suggestion of grinding against you. Though you would never be able to fully forget that, because the feeling in the pit of your stomach was incomparable to any excitement you had ever felt before.
Yoongi moves forward and falls beside you on the bed.
He's not touching you, but he's close enough that his body heat warms you even more.
"Thank you for bringing me along, Yoongi." you say, turning on your side so you can face him.
Yoongi mirrors you, resting is head on his forearm, "Of course I'd bring you along. Who else would I have brought?"
You try to hide your blush, "The other members..."
Yoongi waves you off, "I've seen the world with them, _____. I've experienced some things that most people will never see in their entire lives," he pauses, reaching his free hand forward and rubbing your arm gently, "they're my brothers and I'm grateful for my experiences with them. I just wanted to experience it with my best friend and the person I love most in this world."
You swear your heart skips a beat at Yoongi's confession. You let out a shaky breath and allow a small smile to stretch your lips. Again, he mirrors you. Then, he leans forward and presses the lightest kiss you've ever felt to your forehead. For a moment you believe that you're imagining it. It surpasses the feeling that the kiss you two shared in the lobby gave you, because it wasn't for a show. He wasn't doing it to fool anyone. It was just the two of you, and it was soft and subtle and made your heart feel full.
"What do you say we check out the hot tub? It's got jetssss~" Yoongi sings, slipping off his shirt.
"I didn't bring a swimsuit," you say, watching Yoongi as he slips his jeans off. He dons plain black underwear that falls onto his upper thigh. They're tight, showing off his ass. You like it a lot more than you're willing to admit.
"But you did bring underwear," he turns back to you, meeting your unsure eyes, "Come on, _____. I've known you for years, I promise seeing you in your bra and panties won't be any different than when you'd swim in a bikini when we were teenagers."
He waits for your response. When you don't give one, he nods. "Okay, I will be out there. If you so choose, you are welcome to join me."
He turns on his heel, leaving you alone in the room. You pull yourself off of the bed and peak out of the window onto the balcony. He slips the cover of the hot tub off and dips his hand inside. You see the way his lips curl at the temperature, lifting his leg and stepping in. You want so badly to curl beside him in there, to feel the warm water surrounding the two of you while his arms hold you close.
An hour ago you would have assumed this was wishful thinking. That there was no way that Yoongi would have liked that. Sure, he confessed his platonic love to you while laying beside you in the honeymoon suite of the most expensive hotel in New Orleans, but for some reason the thing that convinced you the most was the way he smiled at you while you lay on the bed and he undressed himself just now. Like it was always supposed to be like this. His comfort with you and his ability to make you feel like you were the only person on the planet is more than enough.
You slip your clothes off, glancing at yourself in the mirror on the closet door. Your underwear wasn't matching and it certainly isn't your cutest pair, but you know that Yoongi won't mind. All he cares about is the fact that you're experiencing this with him.
A feeling of wariness washes over you when you leave the bedroom, though.
Maybe you were being a little too prosaic.
Folding your arms over your torso, you step onto the balcony. Yoongi lays his head against a towel on the ledge of the hot tub. The bubbles are on full blast and he almost looks as though he's asleep. So relaxed, so peaceful, so... cute.
"Yoongi," you nearly whisper, watching his eyes fly open, "you've convinced me."
His eyes are wide while the fall over your body. He seems to be fighting himself to stop looking at you.
"I admit," you say as you step over the ledge, "I have filled out quite a bit since we were in high school."
Yoongi swallows, "W- what are you talking about?"
"My boobs," you laugh, "they're bigger than they used to be."
"Why do you say that?" Yoongi asks, watching you sink into the water.
You smile, "Because you couldn't look away, silly."
A scoff falls from his lips as he folds his arms in front of his chest. Your cheeks burn with delight while you look down and play with the bubbles forming around you. Yoongi was right, you've known him for so long that there's no reason you would ever read him wrong. He's displaying himself openly and he doesn't even know it. He's attracted to you in every way that you're attracted to him, one of you just has to be the one to make the first move.
"I can look away from your boobs, _____." he defends.
A mischevious grin fills your face, "Can you?"
Yoongi chuckles softly, opening his arms, "Where is this coming from? What's gotten into you?"
You push yourself forward, stopping a foot in front of Yoongi. Keeping yourself low, you feel the water brush your chin. "You said you love me, right Yoongi?"
"More than anyone else in the world." he confirms, raising an eyebrow.
"Is it platonic? Or... do you love me... in other ways?"
He tilts his head, "Yah... what are you asking?" His voice is light, flirty. It lets you know that you're doing everything right.
"Do you want to kiss me?"
Yoongi swallows, "I have kissed you before."
"No, Yoongi," you push forward again and move your knees to either side of Yoongi's thighs. Wrapping your arms around his shoulders, you continue, "do you want to kiss me? Feel me, and mean it?"
"Fuck," he breathes, leaning forward and smashing his lips onto yours. You internally squeal with glee, feeling you get pushed back onto the chair. Yoongi's taste invades your every sense, his sweet tongue a stark contrast to what you had expected. The bitter taste of coffee is nowhere to be found, instead you taste the licorice you had bought a few states away. You taste relief in his lips, and you taste passion. A gentle sorts, the kind that makes you feel safe.
"What have we," Yoongi pauses between kisses, "been doing," he pecks you again, "all our lives?"
"Avoiding what was right in front of us." you answer, your chest heaving against his.
"Not anymore. Never again." He growls, lifting you to allowing your legs to wrap around his waist. You hold yourself against him while he reaches beneath the water. You look down to try and see what he's doing but the water distorts your vision. When you meet his eyes, he smiles softly, "You got me all worked up, _____. You're right," he seems to have succeeded in what he was doing, because you feel his cock begin to poke your covered heat, "I was staring at your boobs. I've been hard since you walked out here."
"Then fuck me."
"Such dirty words coming from such sweet tasting lips."
The euphoria that you felt the moment Yoongi entered you surpassed every good moment you have ever had in your life. He breathes with you, as though he is taking in the moment just as much as you. Soaking within you, he kisses you again. So softly.
When he begins to move, you cry out quietly. He shushes you lowly, "It's okay baby," he moans, "does it feel good?"
"So good." you toss your head back, exposing your neck. Yoongi leans down and nips at your collar bone. His arms, which have gotten significantly stronger, hold you tightly and bounce you up and down. You reach behind you, unhooking your bra and letting it fall into the water.
Yoongi switches his attention from your neck down to your nipples, switching between sucking and biting softly on them. They harden, and your senses all fall into Yoongi. Only Yoongi.
"Touch yourself," Yoongi demands, "I'm close."
You reach between the two of you and rub your clit harshly while Yoongi's thrusts speed up. He pulls away and grips your panties in his hands while he pistons harshly. You feel your release coming on harshly and allow yourself to fall with a grin on your face. Yoongi spots you, his jaw dropping while he watches you come undone.
And he comes too.
He face falls into your neck while he repeats your name. The heat in your belly is stronger now that you feel him release, pulling him close to you while the feeling of the water slowly begins to return.
"Have I been promoted?" you ask after a moment.
He looks up, "What?"
"From Best Friend to... Girlfriend?"
Yoongi's face falls onto your skin again as he laughs. "You earned that title years ago. I just wasn't sure if you wanted it."
"Well, I do. And you get the title of boyfriend."
"Deal, dork." Yoongi chuckles, pulling you in for another kiss.
~*~*~
The four days you spent in New Orleans were filled with love. Yoongi was a completely different person now, as far as you went. His hands were on you all the time. His lips found yours so easily, as if he's been doing it for years.
It's only been a week, but you feel as though you've lived a lifetime with him. You have lived many years with him already, but this was so new. Everything about this has had you reeling with excitement that you simply can't contain. So now that you find yourself in the middle of nowhere, in a diner in Oklahoma, you realize just how wild your life has become.
"Is this really a full American breakfast?" Yoongi scrunches his nose while he pokes at some sort of meat on his plate. You shrug, cutting up your french toast that you ordered on the waitress's recommendation, "I feel like an American waitress would know what a traditional American breakfast is."
Yoongi pushes away the mystery meat and stabs his fork into the scrambled eggs. "Anyway, I got a call from Psy. He asked me about producing a song of his for a knew comeback."
"Oh? Is that who you were on the phone with this morning?" You bite into the sticky bread and smile at the taste. Good decision, Ms. Waitress.
"Yeah. He knew that I was in America so he guessed a good time to call." Yoongi says softly, reaching his foot forward and gently brushing your ankle.
You nod approvingly, "Are you gonna do it?"
Yoongi nods as well, "Might as well. Psy is a cool guy."
The breakfast falls into silence soon afterwards. It's comfortable, and it reminds you just how much you love Yoongi.
When you were younger, your mother used to tell you that the key to knowing that you're on the right path is being able to be yourself in front of someone. Yoongi has many personas, and while all of them reflect a certain part of him, none of them are fully him. The pure Yoongi sits across from you now with slightly unkempt hair and healing finger tips from the callouses that broke while he played the guitar. He's exemplary in his work and calm in his fun. Sometimes you wonder if he's part robot, conserving his energy so he can give everything he can into his work. And now, to a certain extent, give everything he can to you. Yoongi is on the right path because he is entirely himself in front of you.
"So," you say while you wait for the check, "Namjoon texted me this morning."
Yoongi pauses scrolling on his phone and looks up, "Okay?"
"He said something about being happy that Yoongi is finally 'gettin' it'."
Yoongi blushes, "I- okay," he laughs, "I may have let them know that we were together now."
"Did you now," your eyes widen in mock shock, "I would have never guessed from the way Namjoon described me taking the stick out of your ass."
"I don't have a stick up my ass!"
"Now you don't," you giggle, "I took it out."
Yoongi's jaw drops, "Did I have a stick in my ass when I took you on this damn trip?"
You pretend to ponder, earning a light kick to the shin under the table. He rolls his eyes and reaches forward to grab your hand, a small gesture that has your subconscious screaming at you to jump over the table and kiss him now.
"I'm going to kill Namjoon when we get back." Yoongi gives a sarcastic smile.
"And here I thought you were going to say something romantic." you squeeze his hand back, shaking your head. Yoongi laughs, "Am I not romantic enough?"
"No you definitely are! I just- you grabbed my hand and-"
Yoongi puts a finger to your lips, "I love you. So much."
"I love you too." you blush.
"Good," he grins, "now can I say I'm gonna kill Namjoon?"
When Yoongi pays the check, he tosses you the keys to the rental car and smiles, "So... should we keep driving?"
"Where to next?" you ask, sliding into the driver's seat.
Yoongi shurgs, "Wherever the next freeway takes us."
474 notes · View notes
trulylino · 2 years
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=> Who Am I - MYG
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Pairing: Yoongi x gn!reader
Genre: Angsty ig
Summary: You don't know who you are without Min Yoongi. Inspired by that one tiktok audio from heartstopper (which I haven't actually seen lol) so I thought I would do a really short drabble about it. I figured this wasn't long enough for a Friday post so here we go.
Warnings: Kinda depressing idk? First person *shudders* I'm sorry i couldn't change perspective after the first paragraph.
Word count: 400
A/N: Also I hit 200 followers today so this can be a little thank you as it was a yoongi post which brought me over <3
Masterlist
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I've been going out with Min Yoongi since I was fourteen. He likes rapping and producing, animals, especially his dog Holly, cooking, basketball, reading comics, taking photos and white. He also likes me. His hair is ginger and his eyes are brown and he's 5'9. If you care about that sort of thing.
What does he know about me though? He knows I like to read, everybody knows I like to read. He knoes my hair is h/c and my eyes are e/c. He knows I like him. But everyone knows I like him. He doesn't know much else. It's not that he doesn't listen to me, or pay attention to me, no, that's not it. I just don't know what I like either. So he doesn't. No one does. What am I without Min Yoongi?
I've often wondered. I want to know my quirks and habits. What I'm like when no one is really watching. When I'm alone. I'm never alone. I'm always with Min Yoongi. And I have been since I was fourteen. I suppose I might like animals too. I like his dog. And the cats he shows me photos of. Wait, do I just like them because they're his? I'm not sure.
I like watching him play sports. He's quite good at basketball. Would I like it if it wasn't him though? Again, I've never really thought about it. Because it's always been him.
Music! I like music. Yoongi's lyrics have always been beautiful and meaningful. He says he's not a singer but he's got a fine voice. I like when he sings to me under his breath when we're cuddling. Do I like other people singing? If it were anyone else I think I'd hate it. Maybe be embarrassed.
I like having my photo taken. The candid photos on the camera make me feel pretty. Or the ones when I'm smiling, my eyes lit up as I pose in whatever way I'm told to. Who am I smiling at? It's Yoongi again. What else do I like? I can't think. Everything is Yoongi. Everything. I'm nothing without Min Yoongi. Why can't I think of anything?
I suppose that I like going for walks alone. I like how the air hits my face when there's a light breeze. It feels like waking up. A fresh beginning. Maybe that's what I need. A fresh start. To figure out who I am. Without Min Yoongi. Alone. Who am I?
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Taglist: @dreamescapeswriting @sparkyprotectionsquad @bang-me-chan
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141 notes · View notes
euphoricfilter · 6 months
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.  . • ☆ . ° .• ° kinktober masterlist
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31 days of smut let’s get it °:. *₊ ° . ☆.
please read the warnings for each chapter!!
・ 。゚☆: .☽ . :☆゚.
☆ day 1 ~ taehyung: breeding kink
tags/ warnings: pwp, unprotected sex, breeding kink, baby talk (but no actual kids because yuck)
─── ・ 。゚☆: .☽ . :☆゚. ───
☆ day 2 ~ : jimin: pet play
tags/ warnings: pwp, pet play, ass play, fingering of both holes, butt plugs, mild dumbification
─── ・ 。゚☆: .☽ . :☆゚. ───
☆ day 3 ~ jungkook: thigh riding
tags/ warnings: pwp, thigh riding, cumming untouched, implied use of recreational drugs (weed)
─── ・ 。゚☆: .☽ . :☆゚. ───
☆ day 4 ~ hoseok: somnophilia
tags/ warnings: pwp, somnophilia, consensual drugging, oral (f. receiving), unprotected sex
─── ・ 。゚☆: .☽ . :☆゚. ───
☆ day 5 ~ yoongi: praise kink
tags/warnings: pwp, oral (m. receiving), praise kink, vaginal fingering, cum swallowing
─── ・ 。゚☆: .☽ . :☆゚. ───
☆ day 6 ~seokjin: corruption kink
tags/ warnings: pwp, corruption kink, he’s a little condescending too, just jin teaching you how to touch yourself?, fingering, cumming untouched
─── ・ 。゚☆: .☽ . :☆゚. ───
☆ day 7 ~ namjoon: double penetration
tags/ warnings: pwp, use of a dildo (the ones that have a hole for fake cum), double penetration, unprotected sex, creampie x2 ?, squirting
─── ・ 。゚☆: .☽ . :☆゚. ───
☆ day 8 ~ jungkook: size kink
tags/ warnings: pwp, unprotected sex, creampie, size kink, he’s hung okay? whatever you’re thinking make it bigger— he has a fat cock, belly bulge
─── ・ 。゚☆: .☽ . :☆゚. ───
☆ day 9 ~ taehyung: watersports
tags/ warnings: pwp, watersports (pee), cumming untouched, literally wet and messy
─── ・ 。゚☆: .☽ . :☆゚. ───
☆ day 10 ~ jimin: cock warming
tags/warnings: pwp, unprotected sex, creampie, cock warming
─── ・ 。゚☆: .☽ . :☆゚. ───
☆ day 11 ~ hoseok: oral fixation
tags/ warnings: pwp, fingers in mouth!!!! (lets gooo), oral (m. receiving), cum swallowing, subspace, condescending dom hoseok!!! (lets gooooooo!!!)
─── ・ 。゚☆: .☽ . :☆゚. ───
☆ day 12 ~ yoongi: overstimulation
tags/ warnings: pwp, vibrator, overstimulation, multiple orgasms, squirting, minor oral? (f. receiving), unprotected sex
─── ・ 。゚☆: .☽ . :☆゚. ───
☆ day 13 ~ seokjin: creampie
tags/ warnings: pwp, unprotected sex, creampie, cum kink, lil spanking action
─── ・ 。゚☆: .☽ . :☆゚. ───
☆ day 14 ~ namjoon: face sitting
tags/ warnings: pwp, touched on insecurities, face sitting, namjoon’s a munch, grinding, pleasure dom joon
─── ・ 。゚☆: .☽ . :☆゚. ───
☆ day 15 ~ jungkook: fingering
tags/ warnings: pwp, fingering, a singular slap to the pussy, squirting, cumming untouched, cum swallowing? sort of? cum is ingested basically, all very lighthearted and fun
─── ・ 。゚☆: .☽ . :☆゚. ───
☆ day 16 ~ taehyung: spit kink
tags/ warnings: pwp, spitting in a mouth (yum?), wet and messy, unprotected sex, creampie
─── ・ 。゚☆: .☽ . :☆゚. ───
☆ day 17 ~ jimin: mirror sex
tags/ warnings: pwp, unprotected sex, fingering, exhibitionism? kinda, they just fuck in a public gym, the panties stayed on, finger in mouth !!!!
─── ・ 。゚☆: .☽ . :☆゚. ───
☆ day 18 ~ hoseok: squirting
☆ day 19 ~ yoongi: free use
☆ day 20 ~ seokjin: spanking
☆ day 21 ~ namjoon: voyeurism
☆ day 22 ~ jungkook: exhibitionism
☆ day 23 ~ taehyung: knotted dildo
☆ day 24 ~ jimin: role play
☆ day 25 ~ hoseok: primal play
☆ day 26 ~ yoongi: shibari
☆ day 27 ~ seokjin: vibrator
☆ day 28 ~ namjoon: cum stuffing
☆ day 29 ~ jungkook: pantie kink
☆ day 30 ~ taehyung: belly bulge
☆ day 31 ~ yoongi: mask kink
5K notes · View notes
taintedjeon · 6 months
Text
‘𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐡𝐞…’ 𝐦𝐲𝐠 𝐬𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐬; 𝐭𝐚𝐤𝐞𝐬 𝐩𝐨𝐥𝐚𝐫𝐨𝐢𝐝𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐫𝐢𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐡𝐢𝐦
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✞ 𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: alternative!yoongi x reader ✞ 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 2k ✞ 𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: yoongi has tongue pierings, bigdick!yoongi, dirty talk, raw sex, riding, nipple play, nipple biting, minor hair tugging, size kink, using a polaroid during sex, mention of dacryphilia to open
disclaimer: this is entirely a work of fiction and by no means is meant to be a projection, judgment or representation of real-life people. yoongi is used solely as a face and a name for the story. this is not a representation of real-life scenarios.
series masterlist | main masterlist
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“Don’t hide your pretty noises. I want you to cry for me.” Yoongi emphasises his requests as he speeds up his pace. His lips bathing your shoulder in kisses as he makes his way up to the sensitive part of your neck, causing you to shiver under his touch.
His name leaves your lips in a sinful prayer for the man in between your thighs. You can’t think, you can’t breathe, all you’re able to do is feel him filling you to the brim with all of him as tears wet your eyes, obscuring your vision.
“You’re fucking perfect,” you hear Yoongi muttering into your chest as you move yourself up and down, impaling yourself on his cock, “treating me well, ni—ah, fuck baby!”
Yoongi’s head is thrown back against the plush grey headrest of the couch, his bottom lip caught in between his teeth as he grunts in pleasure. One of his hands rest on your hips, the warmth of his palm and the coldness of his rings decorating his lithe fingers causes shivers to run over your body.
He is incredible. Insatiable even. Yoongi knows your body better than you know it yourself. He knows just how to fuck you right, every single time.
With your body shaking and eyes screwed shut tight in arousal, you miss Yoongi reaching out beside him. A click, accompanied by a quick bright flash takes you by surprise, causing your eyes to flutter open.
Halting your movements, you peer down at Yoongi who is staring straight into your eyes — blackened, blown out and filled with lust. You clench your pussy around his cock and smile at the polaroid in his hands.
“Want to remember this moment.”
“Well let me help you,” you tell him as you grab at his hand and place it on your tits, guiding him to palm you. Yoongi is more than happy to indulge you and plays with your nipple in between his thumb and pointer finger, tugging at the bud, watching it harden under his touch. You lace your fingers with his and then watch as he snaps a new image of him groping you.
One of your hands comes to rest on the back of his head, fingers gripping into his long strands of raven hair and giving them a soft tug in that way he loves. You lean down and kiss Yoongi with a surge of urgency. It’s wet and messy as your tongues tangle and lips smack against each other. His dual tongue bars give the kiss an added edge as he usages it to his advantage to lick against your lower lip before pulling at the skin in between his teeth. From below, you feel Yoongi lift his hips causing the tip of his cock to press deeper inside of you. A strangled moan slips past your kiss bitten lips at the welcomed pleasure.
Yoongi is thick and heavy inside of you, stretching you loose in ways no man ever has done before. Sex with Yoongi is always exciting and with added kinks to explore with each other, he always leaves you wanting more every time.
“How’s my angel doing?” He whispers as he plays about with the settings on the camera before pointing the lens back in your direction.
“G-good, want to keep going—fuck!” You curse at the end as he moves his hips again and snaps another image of you as your face contorts in unadulterated pleasure.
“G’on, move for me princess, show me how cock drunk you get for me, yeah.”
You don’t need to be told twice. You slid your hands across his chest, tracing the lines of the dragon tattoo that spans across his well built upper body. Through lustful eyes, you watch as Yoongi bites his lip at your touch and you keen, knowing that you’re the one to bring Min Yoongi down to this state with you.
Lifting your hips, you glide your cunt from his base to the tip, managing to feel every vein that wraps around his pretty length.
“Fuck, wait stay there. Let me get a picture of this, holy shit…” Yoongi proclaims and takes the third picture on the polaroid. “Don’t move. Keep yourself hugging my tip, fuck you gotta see how wet you got my cock princess.”
You do as you’re told and you keep your body positioned above him, cockhead nuzzled snuggly in your small hole as you await the polaroid to print the film.
Minutes pass and it doesn’t take long for your legs to start trembling from your muscles being stagnant in this position for a little longer than you’re used to.
“Yoongi, I wanna fuck!” Your protest comes out whiny as you fight the urge to drop yourself down to begin fucking him again.
The sound of the polaroid printing is heard between the both of you and you watch as Yoongi reaches for the film, shaking it in the air for a few seconds before looking at it.
He groans, and you feel arousal build up and leak onto Yoongi’s cock. The sounds that Yoongi creates, every moan, every rumble of his chest pushes you to keep still.
Next thing, Yoongi is twisting the picture around for you to see with your own eyes and what a sight it was. His length looks swollen with use, hard and stunningly decorated in those pretty veins you enjoy giving attention when he allows you. His length glistens under the flash of the camera from the juices he has spilled from your pussy and now it’s your turn to moan.
“Can you see too? The way I barely fit inside you…” he trails off. “Look at you struggling to take my fat cock in your tight cunt, I’ve never seen anything so fucking stunning. This is art.”
Warmth spreads around your body at his words as you look at the image as he speaks to you with so much filth. You flutter around him, utterly brain dead from Yoongi’s cock.
You’re not given enough time to think before Yoongi rocks his hips up, stroking your walls beautifully as he pulls you down to bury himself back in the hilt of his home which is your pussy. Tears gather in your eyes, giving them a sparkle that Yoongi loves to coax from you as he throws the camera back to the side in order for him to guide you up and down his throbbing dick.
The burn in your thighs is present and makes itself apparent as you continue to work your muscles into overdrive as you ride Yoongi like your life depended on it. Yoongi wraps both his hands around your back, palms resting against your clammy skin as he whispers filthy praises and prays of you into your skin, absolutely lost in the lust that is you and your tiny cunt.
You scratch at his chest, digging your nails through the dragon tattoo, breaking the skin and knowing that there will be a trail of red desire marked into his skin for the evening.
“You’re so big!” You hiccup, feeling Yoongi increase the speed of his hips into you, his ego swelling at your words.
“Ah, your pussy is leaking all over me, making such a mess of me angel.” Yoongi punctuates his words with a firm buck into your cunt, Yoongi highlights the loud squelching sounds of your ministrations.
One of his hands finds your wrist and brings it up to his mouth where he places kiss after kiss on each knuckle. He guides your hand further down until it finds the column of his throat and you rest there.
“G’on princess, choke me a little,” Yoongi grunts through gritted teeth and so you do as you’re told, applying a light amount of pressure around Yoongi’s throat. You watch as Yoongi’s eyes flutter closed and his mouth opens in pleasure, his tongue coming out to lick at the corner of his lips. The glint of his tongue ring makes you whine. Your body manages to fight through the overstimulation of his cock fucking into you over and over again as you take over as much as Yoongi is allowing you.
Now, you’re using each other and it’s never felt so fucking pleasurable. You eye the polaroids that Yoongi had taken early scattered around the sofa around his body and you smirk as the tears are rolling down your cheeks in small rivulets. You are both drowning each other in sex so intense, the pleasure borders on almost painful.
With each drop off your hips, you feel him deep in your stomach. Your body burns in overexertion but you don’t stop until you’ve both reached your ends.
“I’m taking you so well, Yoongi, can you feel me!?” You swivel your hips as you ask.
“Nobody got a pussy like yours… best pussy I’ve ever fucked, princess, swear.” Yoongi rasps through your hold on his throat. At his words, you squeeze your fingers just a little tighter around his throat.
“You gonna come, angel?”
You nod at him. “I’m so close, please. Please, I need to!” You beg him to let you finally reach your climax, your hips working faster.
“Just like that baby, you’re doing so good.” you could hear that his voice is straining as his hips become sloppier in their movements. Your spare hand reaches for the headrest of the sofa behind him.
“Fuck, yes, keep going, keep going, I’m gonna fill you to the fucking brim, gonna watch you bloat with my cum,” Yoongi is loud, not afraid who around you both hears his promise to you. 
The living room fills with moans and skin slapping against skin as the pair of you use each other to reach your climaxes. Finally, yoongi leans forward and takes a nipple in between his teeth and runs both his tongue bars over the hardened bud back and forth. Yoongi bites down hard and in return, your pussy vices him in and your hands release from his neck. All at once, Yoongi’s breath hitches as the air returns to his burning lungs and comes inside of you, filling you with his hot sticky white seed as he paints your body with filthy praises.
Soon after, you meet your orgasm shortly behind his own. Your body stills as you tremble above him as your body releases your arousal all over Yoongi, making a mess of him and probably the couch underneath.
He is quick to wrap his arms around you, holding you as your body twitches through your orgasm. Yoongi can’t help but give tiny shallow thrusts to help aid you through it.
You both bask in the glow of intense sex as you both collapse onto each other. Yoongi is the first to move as he wraps his arms around you and lifts you up off of his softening cock. The feeling of him moving through your sensitive cunt causes you to hiss but you pout when he has fully removed himself.
After catching his breath, Yoongi guides you to lie down on the sofa as he reaches once more for the polaroid.
“Yoongi, what’re you—,” you’re cut off with the familiar click of the camera and bright flash momentarily brightening up the living room before bathing it back in it’s natural darkness.
“I can’t fuck you that well and not get the money shot, can I?” You hear the smirk in his voice. You feel a hand wrap around your ankle and then your legs are being pried apart slowly. “C’mon, let me see how messy you are for me, yeah?”
Now it’s your turn to laugh as you indulge Yoongi in his request, giving him the opportunity to get the device up close and personal to your cunt before snapping a new image.
“Yeah, these are definitely going into the wank bank for later.”
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© 𝐭𝐚𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐝𝐣𝐞𝐨𝐧 𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟑. ᴅᴏ ɴᴏᴛ ʀᴇᴘᴏꜱᴛ, ᴛʀᴀɴꜱʟᴀᴛᴇ ᴏʀ ᴄᴏᴘʏ ᴀɴʏ ᴏꜰ ᴍʏ ᴡᴏʀᴋ.
4K notes · View notes
gimmethatagustd · 2 months
Text
morals on sundays | myg
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You're still in love with your ex-boyfriend. Yoongi offers some help to get over him.
○ Pairing: BFF!Yoongi x f!Reader
○ Rating: Explicit/18+
○ Genre: Friends with benefits, angst, smut, fluff
○ 6 / 100 Drabble Challenge (FWB)
○ Word Count: 2,177
○ Warnings: MC's boyfriend cheated on her, post-breakup blues, questionable decision making, fingering so good you'll try to run away from it, pussy eating, too much tongue sucking probably, Yoongi is a boob guy, they have matching Spongebob and Patrick coffee mugs so why aren't they married?? Idiots
○ Notes: Shout out to @sailoryooons for also writing about a daegu boy eating pussy tonight 😌 And, as usual, I wrote this with scrambled eggs for brains and didn't proofread it, so if you see any errors, no you didn't
○ Post Date: January 22, 2024
○ Masterlist | Send me ur thots
○ What was Jai listening to? Imported - Jessie Reyez ft. 6LACK
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Lately, you’ve felt like disappearing – not into a crowded city street in another country or down an unlit dirt road into the unknown, but into the warm folds of Yoongi’s hoodie. You’re already halfway there, with your fingers interlaced with his, shoved into the large front pocket, and your face tucked into his shoulder. 
“Fuck, I hate taking the bus,” he curses, his words turning into a cloud that disappears into the cold air. 
“How much time do we have?” 
Yoongi turns his head, and his lips briefly touch the cold curve of your ear. 
“You’re mumbling. What’d you say?”
“How much time until it comes?” You squint up at him, cheek still pressed against his shoulder. It’s too warm here to want to move. 
“Can’t check the app on my phone unless you give me my hands.” 
“No.” 
Yoongi chuckles and jostles your head by bobbing his shoulders. 
“I thought our date would cheer you up.” His complaint is playful, eyes sparkling in the streetlights when he returns his gaze to the empty road. You should have gotten a taxi. 
“I’m gonna die alone. Doesn’t matter how much late-night pizza I eat or how many stupid action movies I watch,” you grumble into Yoongi’s shoulder. 
“Even when the action movie lead has a super hot sex scene that’s poorly timed and irrelevant to the plot?” 
“Nope.”
���Even when the coolest guy on the entire planet was the one who took you?” Yoongi smiles cheekily, his gaze back on you. He wiggles his shoulders again, hard enough to bounce your head. 
Annoyed, you straighten up, hands still shoved in his pockets. The movie wasn’t that bad. The pizza was actually great. You’re just depressed. 
“I didn’t think it would take this long…” You whisper into the little space between your body and Yoongi’s. He knows you aren’t talking about the bus. 
Yoongi squeezes your hands inside his hoodie. The rest of you might be freezing in the winter night air, but at least Yoongi keeps your hands warm. He keeps your heart warm, too, with his sincere gaze when he looks at you. 
“You were too good for him.” 
Yoongi’s right. He’s always right. 
You’re sufficiently frozen by the time the bus finally arrives. Yoongi pays for you both because he’s trying to make life easy. No bumps in the road, no unnecessary stress. He lets you sit in a window seat so you can stare out at the blurry night scenery and have your sad main character moment for as long as it takes to get to your apartment. 
Once you arrive, he follows you inside and heads straight to the kitchen while you slump down the hall to your bedroom. The cold seeps so deeply into your bones that the sweatpants and sweater you change into barely help increase your body temperature. 
Maybe it’s because the sweatpants and sweater are your ex-boyfriend’s, and the universe wants to keep your body as cold as his heart was. 
In the kitchen, Yoongi uses a wooden spoon to stir hot chocolate in a small pot, your favorite kind that comes in a block of chocolate that melts with milk. It’s likely been years since Yoongi has made you hot chocolate. Cozy winter nights indoors were once commonplace, the two of you alternating between apartments to make each other snacks and treat cuddles like currency. The appearance of your ex put an end to the comfort you shared with Yoongi. It put an end to most things that brought you comfort. 
As you expect, Yoongi has two mugs out on the counter. You reach for yours, twisting it in your hands as you wait for him to finish. 
“Remember when Spongebob tried to become best friends with Squidward instead of Patrick?” Yoongi asks, turning off the stove. He uses a ladle to pour hot chocolate into his pink mug, then pours some into your yellow one. 
“Yes.” 
“He was Squidward. I’m just mad I didn’t get to blow up his house–” Yoongi laughs and nearly spills his drink when you smack him in the arm, “–with bubbles! With bubbles. I’m not homicidal.” 
Rolling your eyes, you set down your mug next to Yoongi’s, both drinks too hot to drink quickly. 
“Thank you,” you mumble, hooking your finger into his hoodie pocket and tugging lightly, the action absentminded. You keep your eyes cast downward because you don’t want him to see your tears if they run. “I’m sorry I’ve been in such a shitty mood. I know it’s been a while, but, it just… I don’t know. I can’t stop thinking about him, and everything fucking hurts…” 
Yoongi slips his fingers under your sleeve and circles your wrist, pulling your hand away from his pocket so he can lace your fingers together. They’re so much warmer now, defrosted by the heat blasting through your apartment and Yoongi’s hot chocolate. 
“Maybe you could start by not wearing his clothes?” Yoongi offers quietly. “Can’t imagine it’s easy to get over someone when you keep them on your body like that.” 
You sniffle and nod. Again, Yoongi is always right. 
“Easier said than done…” you mumble, giving him a weak smile when you finally meet his eyes. There’s something there in his expression, something that seems different. 
You don’t move away when Yoongi steps closer, even when he has you backed against the counter, even when you feel like you’re going to swallow your heart. 
“I could take them off for you,” Yoongi says softly. He lets go of your sleeve to pinch the hem of your sweater, tugging it lightly. “If you can’t do it, I can.” 
“Yeah?” You feel out of breath, maybe because you suck in your stomach when Yoongi’s fingers brush against it. 
“Yeah,” he echoes, fingers sliding along your ribs as he pushes your sweater up. “So you can get over him.” 
It’s a terrible idea, but your stomach flutters when he looks at you with sleepy eyes weighed down by the late hour and lust. He bites his bottom lip, and you feel your resolve slip as easily as Yoongi’s fingers do beneath your clothes. 
“I want to.” The declaration is desperate, and for a moment, you can’t do anything but stare into Yoongi’s eyes with an all-consuming sadness that eats at your insides, gnawing on bones and biting holes into your lungs. “God, Yoongi, I want to.” 
Yoongi touches his forehead to yours, making you close your eyes because he’s too close and you’re too much of a coward. 
“I’m sorry,” Yoongi whispers. His voice is as gentle as his hands on your bare waist, his thumbs caressing your sensitive skin. 
You raise your arms for Yoongi to pull off your sweater. He’s confident when he squeezes your tits, doesn’t even seem caught off guard when he realizes you’re not wearing anything under the sweater. He brushes his thumbs over your nipples as he leans in to kiss you, his tongue tasting sweet from the hot chocolate when he flicks it against yours. 
“Yoongi,” you call out with an airy sigh that harmonizes nicely with the sound of him sucking open-mouthed kisses down your neck. 
“Hmm?” Yoongi hums against the base of your throat, the vibration sending a tingling sensation straight to your clit. He keeps one hand on the counter beside your waist, caging you in, while his other hand cups your pussy over your sweatpants. 
“Oh,” you gasp, your hands immediately finding Yoongi’s firm shoulders when he starts rubbing your clit, occasionally dipping his fingers lower to press against your entrance, soaking the fabric. 
“These are his, too, right?” 
“Y-yes,” you moan as Yoongi pulls down your sweatpants, taking your underwear with them. 
You can’t say you never thought about how attractive Yoongi is; it’s hard to ignore. It’s just that Yoongi is your best friend. If anything were to happen between the two of you, you don’t know if you’d be able to survive losing him, too. You love him. 
But you also love your ex. 
It’s hard to think about that, though, with two of Yoongi’s fingers pumping in and out of your pussy. They’re long, reaching deeper than your own can when you finger yourself, always late at night when you’re lonely. It never feels good after. The clarity always seems to hit too quickly, like being dunked in a pool of ice water. 
Three months. That’s how long it’s been since another person touched you, since you found out your ex-boyfriend had been cheating on you. You didn’t realize how much you missed it until you’ve got your head thrown back and your thighs quivering as Yoongi fucks you with his fingers. You nearly climb up the counter, both wanting him to touch you more and trying to get away because it’s too good. 
Your ex never searched for the spot that would make your legs shake, but Yoongi does. He curls his fingers against your front wall and keeps up his rhythm, moving with your body when you can’t control where it goes. 
“Fuck, right there.” You’re burning up, veins turned to lava that’s rushing toward your core as Yoongi fucks you closer and closer to your orgasm until you’re on the verge of tears because you haven’t been touched in so long and you’re so lonely and you weren’t good enough. You weren’t enough. 
“Wanna make you cum,” Yoongi groans, deep and gravelly, between licking a stripe up your tits and sucking your nipples. 
“Please,” you moan, “Please, I’m so close.” 
Your arousal gushes around his fingers, slicking them up and making your pussy squelch when Yoongi flutters them inside you. He keeps his thumb pressed against your clit, almost too hard. It stops you from bucking your hips, but you can barely stand as it is. 
Yoongi’s lips are back on yours, red from sucking your nipples until it hurt. He whispers against your lips and opens his mouth to let you suck on his tongue with a pathetic whimper. 
“Not yet, though.” 
“Wha– Yoongi, no–” It’s embarrassing how loudly you cry out when Yoongi slips his fingers out of your pussy. You feel the fire in your core simmer until you’re left with a painfully throbbing clit and your juices smeared on your inner thighs. 
“Shhh, you know I always take care of you.” Yoongi shuts you up with a bite to your bottom lip. He leans down slightly to squeeze the backs of your thighs and hoist you up onto the counter. “Lean back.” 
The cold marble counter sends shivers across your body, but it can’t keep up with the heat of Yoongi’s mouth on your pussy. He kisses your lips so gently that you think you might actually cry before he pushes your thighs back, opening you up. 
“Oh fuck,” you moan as Yoongi goes straight for your clit, sucking on it as he swirls his tongue around it. You dig your hands into his hair and tug the strands hard enough to make him moan into your pussy. “Use your, use–” 
Yoongi laps at your clit in quick, consistent bursts that fall in line with the tempo he’s fucking you to with two fingers again. His free hand presses against your lower abdomen, keeping your body taunt so you don’t buck into his face or curl inward. It’s bad enough that you can’t stop your legs from shaking when one rests on his shoulder and the other drapes over the crook of his arm. 
It’s messy and loud, Yoongi licking and sucking your pussy like he really is trying to empty your mind of everything but the way the tip of his hot, wet tongue feels swirling your clit and the stretch of his fingers when he slips a third inside you and focuses on massaging the sensitive part of your walls. It’s working. He completely consumes your senses, down to how gorgeous he looks staring at you from between your thighs. 
Your Yoongi, fingerfucking you and sucking your clit like you’re his favorite meal. 
You try not to bang your head against the counter when you finally cum, instead focusing the overwhelming energy into pulling Yoongi’s hair to keep his face in your pussy.
He continues fucking you with his fingers through your orgasm, to the point that you can’t lie still any longer. 
“Yoongi, oh my god, Yoongi, it’s too much,” you whimper and gasp, thighs closing around his head until he finally eases his fingers out of you. 
Strings of your arousal connect his lips with your pussy until he swipes his tongue along his bottom lip, cutting them off. His bangs are pushed off his forehead and his hair sticks up from you pulling on it, but his eyes sparkle and his cheeks are just as rosy as his pink, slicked-up lips. 
“Shit,” Yoongi murmurs, leaning over you on the counter to kiss you. He shoves his tongue in your mouth and lets you suck your juices from it. 
You think you taste better on Yoongi’s tongue than on your ex’s. 
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Disclaimer: All my writing is fictional and for entertainment purposes only. None of these characters are meant to actually represent the real people mentioned in the stories. 
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kookslastbutton · 15 days
Text
what love feels like ༓ myg (m)
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✑ Summary: Being a mother to a beautiful baby girl and wife to an adoring husband is the most rewarding feeling in the world. But you also work a full-time job, are overtired most of the time, stressed, don't have any alone time, look very different than eight years ago, and sex? Well, that hasn’t happened in weeks. The gravity of the situation weighs on you until one day, all of your deepest insecurities rear their ugly head–that your husband might not love you as much anymore and someone could take him away from you.
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Pairing: husband!yoongi x reader
AU/genre: angst, fluff, smut, marriage au
Rating: M, 18+
Word Count: 6.7k+
Warnings: swearing, both Yoongi and oc are in their 30s, mom and full-time worker!oc, reserved!dad!yoongi, lack of intimacy, mentions of body insecurities post-pregnancy, mentions of fear of abandonment, mentions of jealousy. irrational worries, built-up stress, light fighting, silent treatment, stubbornness, lots of reassurance, nightmares, cute backstory of how they met, a lot of ily, Yoongi and oc being good parents 🥹, Yoongi calls oc doll, and explicit sexual content
sexual warnings: swearing, kissing, neck kisses, pleading, banter, dirty talk, doll petname, asking for consent, b**b squeezing & sucking, hair threading, penetration, f*ngering, big d*ck!yoongi, growling, missi*nary, eye contact, tearing up, c*ming together
Now Playing: Breathing by Anne Marie
a/n: Okay this was for Yoon's bday. Based on the poll, husband!Yoon won. Was intended to be a Drabble but well...heh 😅 Anyway, I had a lot of fun writing this fic and Yoon is just such a good hubby for responding well to these very relatable insecurities. (Low-key love this couple...) I'm sorry for any typos or warnings i missed! I checked and double checked but a few might have slipped. Enjoy! Anyway please enjoy! 🥰
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“So, you're Jia's father, huh? I don’t think I've seen you here before, and I’m sure I would have recognized you.”
With his back straight and arms folded, Yoongi gives the woman in front of him a quick once-over. Mid-40s, freshly single, and definitely in need of some companionship. It doesn’t take a genius to figure out; she’s been talking his ear off for the past twenty minutes like he’s some kind of remedy to all her problems.
Honestly, he just swung by to pick up his four-year-old from daycare after another grueling day at work. But the moment he walked in, it was as if all the single moms latched onto him like a flock of hungry geese. This one’s name is Sandra in particular.
It reminds him of his college basketball days, how the cheerleaders all too eagerly swarmed around him after sinking the winning shot at the championship game. Shame he was too busy eyeing the girl in the stands to care, her face buried behind a book twice as big as her head. Who reads an 800-page novel during the playoffs anyway?
Fate, as one may call it, intervened about a week later when his best friend became said girl’s lab partner. Yoongi didn’t make any sudden moves at first, but well, he did make her his wife three years later.
“It’s just so nice to finally meet the father of such a sweet child. Especially considering how many dads tend to take a backseat in their child's early years.” Is she still going on? Yoongi does his best to stay present, though it’s proving unsuccessful. “And Jia truly is an angel! It’s clear you’re doing a wonderful job raising her, even with a full-time job and all.”
Yoongi’s eyebrows knit together at the somewhat odd choice of words. “Thanks,” he drawls out, noticing her pupils dilating with every breath. “Most of the credit goes to my wife though. She’s a great mom to Jia.”
“Jia’s m-mom?” Sandra stutters, her mouth slightly agape. Yoongi senses the gears turning in her head as she struggles to process the unexpected presence of his wife. Tempting as it is, he holds down a smirk. Of course, he’s a happily married man–for nearly eight years now.
“Yeah,” he replies simply. “She’s usually the one to pick up our daughter from daycare, but she’s been working a lot of overtime lately. I thought I'd come instead so she can get some rest."
“Oh, well that’s very–“
“Daddy! Daddy, you’re here!” The sound of a familiar high-pitched voice, along with a light pattering of feet, diverts both adult’s attention.
“Hey kid.” Yoongi effortlessly lifts the small child once in front of him, securing her in his arms. “Have fun today?”
Jia gives an enthusiastic nod, bright red ribbons in her hair bouncing cutely as she does. Proudly, she shows him the drawing she made.
“See? It’s me, you, and mommy!” She makes sure to point to each part of the picture with her pointer finger.
Yoongi gently takes the artwork from his daughter’s hand and lets out a soft chuckle. “Now this is what I call a masterpiece! Mommy’s gonna love hanging this one on the fridge. How about I hold onto this and you go grab your backpack, okay?”
As soon as Jia’s feet touch the carpeted floor again, she races off to her cubby in the far corner of the room. Yoongi shoots Sandra a final glance before slowly following behind. “We got to get going, but nice meeting you.”
“You…too.” Sandra’s response is more than disappointed as she watches the father-daughter duo make their way out of the building. Evidently, Min Yoongi isn’t the single dad she originally assumed. Funny, she swore there wasn’t a wedding band in sight. Maybe she missed it.
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“No, I’m sorry but I’m certain we haven’t used any of your services in the last six months. My husband canceled it in late October.”
With one hand, you grip your cell phone up to an ear while the other pops open the dishwasher. You’ve been on the phone with the cable company for half an hour, trying to make sense of an unexpected charge that appeared on your bank account this morning. You consider yourself more patient than most, yet after working all day, a pile of laundry waiting to be washed, and dinner threatening to burn on the stove, the last thing you have time for is arguing with your old service provider.
“I understand, ma’am, and I apologize for any confusion. I’m taking a look at my records and they’re all showing me that—oh wait a second.”
The young man on the opposite end of the line interrupts his own thought, piquing your concern in the process.
“What did you say your last name is?”
You answer and in an instant, you’re met with a thousand rushed apologies; something about getting the account names mixed up in their system. It’s difficult to decipher everything you hear with the front door being thrust open that very moment.
“Mommy, where are you? We’re home!” Your daughter not so subtly announces her presence from the foyer. She kicks off her shoes, hangs her backpack on the designated wall hook, and then rushes to the kitchen upon catching a brief glimpse of your shirt.
“It’s alright, these mistakes happen.” You hang up the call and turn around to find Jia only steps away, a big goofy grin on her face. Infectious, you break out into a smile yourself and swoop her up.
“Hey honey, I missed you so much!” You kiss the side of your daughter’s head as she wraps her small arms around your neck. “You look so pretty with all these ribbons in your hair! Daddy did a good job, didn’t he?”
Being that you were called into work earlier than usual this morning, Yoongi was the one who got Jia dressed and ready for daycare. You’re delightfully surprised by the results.
“Mmhm,” Jia nods, twirling a couple of strands of hair between her thumb and forefinger. “But Daddy pulls too much!”
“Maybe if someone had listened and stopped fussing when I told her, I wouldn’t have accidentally yanked on her hair when I was reaching for her favorite Hello Kitty scrunchie.” Yoongi joins you both in the kitchen, walking over to press a quick peck on your lips while tenderly caressing the small of your back. The gesture soothes you of your earlier frustrations. “Who was that on the phone? Cable company?”
“Yeah, they canceled the charge. Wrong account.” As you reiterate the entire mix-up, your eyes wander all over your husband. He’s especially handsome tonight, given his perfectly tousled black hair and navy blue blazer flowing over his body. It’s tastefully oversized with a clean, white top paired underneath. You, on the other hand, are sporting a raggedy old t-shirt and stained sweatpants.
There was a time when you used to put a shit ton more effort into your appearance. It was before you got pregnant with Jia, back when you and Yoongi were going out on weekly dates. Neither of you has that kind of time anymore, or energy for that matter. You didn’t believe the other moms when they told you the romance takes a nose dive after you have your first kid. Yet here you are, proven wrong again.
Being parents to a beautiful baby girl is likely the most rewarding feeling in the world for you and Yoongi. You don’t remember the last time the two of you got real quality alone time though. And sex? Well, that hasn’t happened in weeks. The gravity of the situation weighs more on you with each passing day to be honest. Sure, you’re not the same person you used to be eight years ago, but shouldn’t you and Yoongi still make time for at least a little intimacy?
“How was picking up Jia by the way?” You look at Yoongi who merely shrugs nonchalantly in response.
“It was fine. Nothing too out of the ordinary,” Yoong gives you another peck before heading up the stairs to your bedroom. “I’m gonna go get changed. Why don’t you show Mommy the drawing you did Jia?”
“A drawing?” You shift your attention to your daughter whose eyes sparkle like diamonds upon mention. “We should put it up on the fridge then. Let’s take a look hmm?”
“It’s in my backpack! My new friend and I were drawing together. Her name is Mi-Sun.” Jia continues telling you all about her friend Mi-Sun as you make your way to the front door where her backpack hangs. You’re fully engaged until the very end. “Daddy made a new friend too!” she joyously claps her hands together, not realizing the depth of her remark.
“Oh, who’s Daddy’s new friend honey?” You ask, staying as calm as possible.
“Ms. Cho! They were talking for a really long time today.”
Ms. Cho? You think back to all the moms you’ve met at daycare. Somehow you can’t recall ever hearing or meeting a Ms. Cho. She must be a single mom, you deduce. Was she new? What did she look like? And why didn’t Yoongi mention her when you asked?
This has to be nothing but a little small talk, an acquaintance at most. Besides, the moms at Jia’s daycare are quite a chatty bunch and Yoongi wouldn’t dare overstep any boundaries.
“Do you know what they were talking about?” You don’t enjoy asking your child for details about your husband, yet you can’t seem to help it this time.
“I dunno,” she shrugs her shoulders. "Daddy was laughing a lot."
Suddenly, the self-assurance you gave yourself earlier slips away; seemingly useless given the queasy feeling building in the pit of your stomach.
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For the remainder of the night, you purposely dodge every attempt your husband makes to kiss, touch, and hold you. You’ve even begun responding to his questions in one-word answers and at times, with nothing at all.
Yes, you’re being petty; more than usual. The silent treatment frustrates Yoongi to no end and it isn’t very mature of you, but neither is refusing to tell your wife that some single mom was flirting with you in front of your kid! Okay, so maybe that's an exaggeration. Maybe it all sums up to a harmless conversation, but it’s not like you know either way with Yoongi being as reserved as he is. It brings you back to your early dating days when he wouldn’t think to tell you about various aspects of his day; who he ate breakfast with that morning or the one classmate of his that wouldn’t leave him alone for two semesters.
Truth be told, you're simply hoping that your husband will bring up the topic first, without having to be the classic nagging wife. You’re a jealous person by nature so it’s not a simple task. Even now as you fold the first batch of laundry on your shared bed, him on the other side doing the same, you struggle to keep from blurting everything out.
“So,” Yoongi fluffs up a clean pillowcase before sliding it onto one of the bed pillows. “How was work?”
What a basic question, you grumble internally. Is that all he’s got? “Was okay,” you reply. “The usual.”
“You must be tired from the day. Did you get to lie down at all?” Yoongi picks up another pillowcase, repeating the process as before. When he glances your way, it’s clear something’s on your mind. You’ve started pairing Jia’s socks far more aggressively than normal and you’re holding back your responses. “Did you hear me, doll? Or am I going deaf here?” The sarcastic chuckle distracts you from your task, forcing your attention.
You’re about to respond when your eyes briefly flicker down to his hands, his left one in particular. Where's his wedding ring? Yoongi always wears it no matter what. The same sick feeling from before returns tenfold. No wonder that Ms. Cho was all over him–she must have thought he was single.
“No, I didn’t get to lie down Yoongi. I worked all day, came home and made dinner, called the cable guy to get that stupid bill figured out, and now I’m doing the second load of laundry. I’m really just not in the mood to chat.” It comes out a blur as you snatch the empty laundry basket and head for your washer and dryer, your eyes welling up with tears.
“__, wait.” Yoongi tosses the last pillow near the headboard and stops you in your tracks, his hand firmly gripping one end of the laundry basket. The intensity of his stare softens as he speaks. “I'm sorry if it seems like I'm forcing you to talk. I know you've been losing a lot of sleep recently between work, Jia, and upkeeping the house. We just don't get a lot of time to see each other anymore and I miss you…I miss talking to you."
With every ounce of self-control remaining, you hold back any tears that risk spilling out. You don't know why you're acting like this, why you're crying over something that seems so small and insignificant to the rest of the world. Yoongi loves you. He's said it a million times and proven it to you over and over again, for eight years now. He wouldn’t cheat on you, yet you still get so worked up about the idea that someone could take him away from you. Someone half your age, more attractive, or hell even the opposite sex if it means fewer dark circles under their eyes.
"Why- why aren't you wearing your ring?" Your naturally confident voice dwindles to the whisper of a mouse. It's completely out of character, nevertheless, here you are.
"I..." Your husband's voice wavers. His gaze flickers to his left hand, where his ring should be, but isn't. "Shit...I took it off in the shower this morning," he confesses, frustrated by his forgetfulness. "I was in such a rush to get Jia to daycare, and me to work, that it completely slipped my mind. I'm sorry—I fully intended to put it back on." He pauses, then perks up. "It's still in the bathroom. I'll be right back, okay?"
You watch as he makes a beeline for the master bathroom, eager to rectify the situation as soon as possible. You should have kept silent what you say next, but you don't.
"No wonder the moms at Jia's daycare were so drawn to you."
"What?" Yoongi stops in his tracks. The dumbfounded expression on his face tells you that you've caught him off guard again.
"Jia told me about someone named Ms. Cho," you reluctantly continue. "The two of you were laughing and talking and–"
"Baby, don't worry about that." Seizing his chance, your husband walks back over to you and sneakily pulls the laundry basket from under your arm. He sets it on the ground after, then reaches to take your hand in his, but stubbornly you cross your arms.
"Her name's Sandra," he starts explaining. "She's a new mom at the daycare and she didn't know anyone, so she started talking to me. I got the sense she was a little overly friendly but it was all small talk, nothing more."
Still largely unsatisfied, you remain unmoved. "If it wasn't a big deal then why didn't you tell me earlier?"
"Because nothing serious happened. The majority of the conversation was her venting about her ex-husband and me wishing you were right there next to me. Please believe me. All I could think about was finally being able to come home to you after a long week with Jia in our arms."
"Really?" Well, now you're feeling guilty for avoiding him in nearly every way tonight. Guilty for believing such wild assumptions that he'd leave you for someone else over one measly conversation. Guilty for letting yourself get so worked up over a situation you, quite frankly, knew few details about.
"I mean it doll." This time, when he reaches out to grasp your wrist, he succeeds. He intertwines his fingers with yours and leads you to the edge of your bed, gently pulling you down to sit on his lap. "Do you really think I could look at anyone else the way I look at you? Or think about you the way I have for the last eight-plus years we've been married and known each other?"
You hesitate your answer, averting his eye contact. "I know but…"
"No, don't finish that. Look at me," he intercepts. "You and our daughter are the only women on my mind–24/7. I can't get either of you out of my head and I don't want to. I'm so sorry I forgot to put my wedding band back on this morning, and again tonight. I feel awful about it and I'll be more careful from now on. And another thing, when Sandra and I were talking I mentioned you multiple times. So, it's clear to her that I'm a happily married man."
The last bit of information manages to perk your ears. "You talked about me?" Your eyes widen as you finally shift your full attention to him. Yoongi eyes widen with you, amused by your sudden change of heart to look at him.
"I said my wife is an amazing mother, works too hard for her own good, and needed to rest today. Give or take a few words."
That's all? You huff to yourself. Would it been nice if your husband also thrown in that you were beautiful or stunning in that mix of compliments? Yes, yes it would have–again, you're pettiness clouds your better judgment. You're not as pissed off as before, but rather semi-irritated.
"Okay…well I guess it's fine then. I'm sorry for being short with you earlier. I shouldn't have made those rash conclusions about the ring and that woman from the daycare. It wasn't reasonable of me." You get up from his lap, yet Yoongi isn't entirely convinced that you're okay.
"There's still something you're not telling me. I can tell."
"No, there's nothing else." You waive him off, placing your hand on your bedroom doorknob "You told her you had a wife so it's fine. I need to switch the second load of laundry.”
"Come on, doll. Let's not leave things unsaid now."
Sighing at his plead, you find yourself giving into all your repressed thoughts and emotions. It swallows you up, like a tidal wave you can't stop. "Look at me Yoon. I'm sweaty, I have dark circles under my eyes, stretch marks, love handles, my hair's a mess, and all I wear are old sweats covered in stains. I'm nothing like I used to be! No wonder we aren't intimate anymore."
Yoongi rises from the bed at once, offended by the sudden digression. "Is that what this is all about? It’s not even about that single mom from daycare is it?" The truth of the matter sinks in as he speaks.
"I guess maybe so…though I'm still annoyed about that too." Great, you're back to square one again.
"Come with me, I need to show you something." Your husband gestures you to follow him, which you slowly concede to.
"What are you doing Yoon?" You both walk into the master bathroom, stopping in front of the large mirror above the sink.
"I'm showing you the woman I'm in love with and have been in love with for nearly eight years now. Sweats and all." Yoongi makes you face the mirror directly, hands around your shoulders. You have trouble stomaching the sight.
"Yoongi please, I can't. The laundry ringing off." You avoid looking into the mirror and make a move to leave the bathroom.
"Just stay with me a minute, please?" Your husband refuses to loosen his hold on you, turning your body so you're looking eye to eye. "No, you're not the same person as you were and neither am I. We're parents to a beautiful daughter now, who we love and adore. We're also overtired 90% of the time, juggling a million things at once. But there's one thing you can count on to always stay the same–my loyalty to you. I'll always be in love with you __, no matter what age you are or however way you look. There's nothing you can do to change that, so why fight it?"
Dammit. A single tear rolls down your cheek as you take in his heart-melting speech. It's not his words alone, it's the sincerity behind them. How he's repeated similar countless times before throughout your entire relationship.
"I love you, Yoon..." you choke out the words, composure fleeting.
"I love you so much, doll." He wipes the wetness of your tear with his thumb. "As far as us not being as intimate anymore, that's my fault. I don't ever want you to feel like I don't desire you every day. Why don't we send the kid to my parents this weekend and let me start making things right hmm?"
"I don't know if we can this weekend. Jia has a playdate on Saturday."
"So, I'll ask Mom to take her. She'll be happy to, trust me. We can finally watch that movie you've been dying to show me since what? December?"
"You're serious?" Your eyes light up at the mention of what is essentially a movie date. The show Yoongi's referring to is one you've been craving to see for months, yet neither of you has found the time to watch. "I've been talking about it for so long, Yoon."
"I know you have, it's why I suggested it. I've been wanting to watch it too with all the trailers you keep sending me. Plus, I'll be able to keep my beautiful wife in my arms for over two hours. That's a lot for us, especially with you being such a busy bee. I can never get you to light in one place! What's up with that, huh?"
Feeling your natural self re-emerging, you throw a playful swat to his arm and scowl at his teasing comment. "You're one to talk! You're basically a workaholic! Besides, you knew who you were marrying when you met me."
Yoongi chuckles and brings both hands to cup your cheeks, squishing them slightly. "A cutie who reads 800-page novels at a basketball game?"
"Stop babying me!" You pull his hands off your cheeks and rub them, trying to regain some composure. "I don't regret my choices, I like books. It's why I'm such a boss at work!"
"Okay, boss," he laughs. "What about what I suggested before then? I can call Mom tomorrow and ask her if she could watch Jia for the day. She'll take her to her playdate, then they can spend the rest of the day together."
It does sound nice, having the whole day with your husband.
"Okay," you agree. "Let's try."
"Good." Yoongi slides his hands down to your hips and pulls you flush against his chest. "How about we seal it with a kiss now?" You nod and he leans his head down, pressing an amazing, tender kiss to your lips. It makes you both giddy on queue.
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"Read one more story, Daddy!" Jia leaps off her small, twin bed and bounds for her bookshelf. She lets out a series of giggles when a large pair of hands catch her, lifting her high into the air.
"I already read you three books kid," Yoongi says, planting a kiss on her cheek. "Bedtime." He then tucks her into her fluffy comforter, plugs in her teddy bear nightlight, and closes her bedroom door.
The next second, Jia comes running out of her room, latching onto his right leg. "I don't wanna go to bed. I wanna play!" Figures she'd be hyper at this hour.
Yoongi sighs and picks her up. "Daddy told you to go to sleep, it's not playtime. You'll have lots of time for that tomorrow when you get to see your friend." He then carries her into her room, yet she fusses in his arms; thumping her tiny fists into his chest.
"No, no, no, Daddy. I want to play!"
Sighing, Yoongi looks at his child with sharp eyes. "Jia–"
"Hey," you interrupt, entering your daughter's bedroom upon hearing the commotion down the hall. "What's going on?"
"Kid doesn't want to go to bed."
You give an empathetic look and saunter over to the pair, gently taking Jia into your arms. Yoongi places his hands on his hips as he watches you reason with your daughter.
"Jia, you know tomorrow's a big day right? You and Sana are going to go to the playground together." The child nods. "You don't want to be tired when you're playing do you?"
"No..." She shakes her head. "I want to be awake!"
"Then you need to listen to Daddy and go to sleep. That way you'll be full of energy tomorrow when you and Sana go on the swings or slide down all the big slides." You smile as Jia starts rubbing her drowsy eyes, yawning in the process.
"But I...okay," she slowly concedes, eyes fluttering shut as she gives into her sleepy state. Unsurprising to you and Yoongi, she was tired all along. But like most kids, hated going to bed.
"See?" You lay Jia in her bed and pull the covers up near her chin, giving her a light kiss on the side of her head. Yoongi bends down and does the same after you. "You just gotta talk to her a little, she'll typically fall asleep on her own."
"But I read her three of her favorite books." Yoongi shuts off the overhead light, along with the door to Jia's room, and follows you to your bedroom.
"That's different Yoon," you argue back. "Books excite her."
"She takes after you that way then." Yoongi pulls his t-shirt off, leaving him bare-chested, and climbs onto his side of the bed. You join him shortly after with your head resting on his chest and an arm thrown around his waist.
"I'm so exhausted," you yawn.
"Go to sleep, baby. I'm right here." Your husband places a hand over your wrapped arm, sending you off into a deep slumber.
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Well this is just ironic. Almost 2 A.M. and you're wide awake.
What initially started as a nice, relaxing dream quickly turned into a terrible nightmare. In the dream, you woke up alone. Yoongi was gone. Jia was gone too. You can't exactly make sense of it, except for a vague memory of Jia calling another woman 'Mom'. You couldn't see her face very well, so it could've been anyone. You couldn't speak either, so even when you tried approaching the three, they couldn't hear you. You've had nightmares plenty of times, but this one is new. It's a clear projection of all the underlying concerns upheaved from earlier; insecurities, abandonment, loss, and it has you unsettled.
You glance over to your husband's side of the bed. He's fast asleep, no longer cuddling you due to you both flip-flopping in your sleep. You decide to slide closer to him, needing to watch him for a while. It might sound weird, but you love watching him sleep. He's so handsome and you feel a great deal of comfort doing so. Maybe if he was awake, you'd tell him about what you dreamt. Then again...maybe not.
"I love you Yoon," you whisper as quietly as you can, tracing his every facial feature with your eyes.
"'m, I love you too."
Is he-was he awake? As if caught red-handed, you quickly flit your face away in favor of the blank ceiling above. You weren't expecting him to answer at all, and in such a hoarse voice too. You're a little turned on by it to be honest.
"Can't sleep?" he speaks up again, eyes still closed.
"No, I''ll be okay though. You can go back to sleep. Don't worry."
He grunts, a tad unhappy with your dismissal of him. "Do you want to talk about it? Your dream?"
You whip your head in his direction. "How–" You pause, seeing his eyes blink open.
"I didn't meet you just yesterday, doll. I know they keep you up. Just know, I'm always here okay? Always." He reaches for you with delicate fingers as he continues. "Now, come here. Seems we got separated in our sleep."
You accept the offer and cuddle into him again. This time your noses nearly touch and his arm wraps around your lower waist. You feel the growing urge to kiss him, wanting to forget your nightmare entirely. But perhaps silly, you ask permission first, seeing as he's close to drifting off again.
"Yoon?"
"Mm."
"Can we kiss?" Your cheeks flush a little at the request. Why are you acting like this? You've been married for years.
"Sure, 'm tired but I could go for a make-out right now." A small smirk graces his lips as he teases you. You give him a classic 'Yoongi!' in reply. "I'm kidding. You don't ever have to ask me that," he finishes.
"Hmm, maybe I don't want a kiss anymore." You feign stubbornness, just to see his response. And a response he gives you, more than you're prepared for.
"You're ridiculous," he grumbles, capturing your lips in one fell swoop. He moves his lips against yours as the hand on your waist grips tighter. The tiniest of moans escapes your lips.
You attempt to break the kiss first, thinking it will only last for a few seconds. Yet Yoongi slips a hand behind your neck to bring you into another kiss. One that's deeper than the last. You feel your breath being taken away little by little, especially when his tongue licks into your mouth. God, you haven't kissed like this in an eternity. A wetness soon gathers between your thighs.
"'m, Yoon," you gasp when his cool fingers sneakily make their way under your shirt, tickling your bare skin. They travel the expanse of your waist, stomach, and up along your back. "So cold."
Yoongi pulls away from the kiss and retracts his fingers. He then lazily moves his body until his chest hovers over your own, rolling you on your back in the process. He's a bit of a blur due to the dimness of the room, yet you can see the whites of his eyes a bit better than before.
"Help me warm them then," he says, folding his hands on top of yours from where they rest on your stomach. "You're really burning up, doll."
His observation is right. Ever since you woke up, you're body's been hotter than normal. The stress is clear and it's only increasing due to the unexpected turn of tonight's events; your husband seemingly wanting to make love to you in the middle of the night.
"So I am," you reply, staring straight into his eyes. "Must be because of all the sudden surprises today. My body's finally responding to it all."
Yoongi nods, following your implication. "Well let's do something to calm it down, shall we?" He waits for your final go before making any abrupt movements.
"But...you haven't seen me–"
"Naked in a while?" he predicts your next words, unfazed. "I've seen it all, each time better than the last because I love you. You're beautiful to me, no matter what. Let me love you __. I've missed you. I've missed us."
"Okay...please," you sigh, desperately needing his touch. "It's been so long since we've been this close."
Neither of you has it in you to delay another second as you dive into another fiery kiss, your hands wandering up and down each other's bodies. You love his hair the most, so you run your fingers through it repeatedly. Your husband's soft grunts remind you that it's as pleasurable for him as it is for you, and as if to counter, he latches his lips to the curve of your neck.
"Yoon," you moan, shivering at the feeling of being peppered in open-mouth kisses. Your eyes automatically roll up as well.
Yoongi nips at your jaw next, featherlike, yet deadly to you nevertheless. He doesn't allow himself to linger more than a second, though, preferring to keep you on your toes. So with careful fingers, he begins lifting the bottom of your shirt.
"Can I?"
You hum in approval and lean forward for him to remove it.
With your nipples now exposed to the brisk air, stiffening due to arousal, Yoongi brings both his hands up to caress your boobs. He's incredibly gentle, telling you how beautiful you are once again until his thumbs start circling your peaked nipples. A rush of sensation shoots up your spine as he rolls them harder, flicking them once in a while.
"Fuck," you swear.
"Feeling good?"
All you do is nod fervently in response, which Yoongi takes as his signal to lower his head to your chest. He squeezes both breasts in his hand before wrapping his mouth around a nipple, licking and sucking relentlessly. He repeats the same to the other.
"Yoongi, I need you. Please." You're core tightens, thighs struggling not to rub together, as you plead with your husband to relieve you. You are so wet and getting wetter.
"I'm here, doll, I got you. Fingers first hm?"
He pushes part of the comforter towards the foot of the bed, then gestures for you to raise your butt. Any shred of mystery of how worked up he's gotten you slip away as he pulls your underwear and pants down your legs. They both get tossed on the floor, per usual.
Bare pussy exposed, Yoongi guides your legs further apart and brings a hand down to your entrance. One of his long, slender fingers traces up your folds so smoothly that you buck your hips upon the touch. He smiles lightly at the subtle response, pleased that you're finally enjoying yourself; too often you put your needs last. His finger slowly sinks into your well-lubricated pussy, velvety walls clenching around it.
"Oh, g-god," you give a shaky moan as his finger pumps and curls in you, stimulating your g-spot. "Need you now, Yoon, so bad."
"Mm not yet, we need to stretch you out. You haven't taken me for a good three or four weeks," he smirks at your eagerness, sliding a second finger next to the first. "This pussy is drenched but not enough. I need you to come. Can you do that for me?"
Fast, quick movements follow suit as your husband works you up to an orgasm. Oh fuck, oh fuck, you chant in near whines. Your pussy is spasming around him, walls tightening with each push and pull. You know when he draws his hand out that it's covered with your come. Messy, sex is messy and both of you are too far gone to care; the pleasure sweeping over you.
Finally, in what feels like an endless tease, you have your first orgasm of the night. You feel your body relaxing into the mattress again, yet your breath remains short. Yoongi, on the other hand, groans seeing your release dripping down your thighs and onto the sheets. For a split second, there's a slight darkening in his eyes while he takes in your post-orgasmic form. The two fingers that had been inside you are sensually brought to his lips, slipping between the seam before being cleaned off.
You're taken aback by the action, though you've witnessed it before. Something about watching your husband willingly follow through with a gesture so lewd makes your head spin–you want him to fuck you right this instant. He must share the same feeling because you don't even need to sound the words due to his hands already making quick work of his pants.
"You drive me mad, you know that? Can never get a break with how sweet you taste. Your lips, your come. All of it makes me go mad." His full length comes in view, hard and tip leaking with pre-cum. You try not to let yourself stare at the thickness but hell, you must've forgotten the extent of your husband's size. You don't remember it being this big before.
"Well," you gulp. "You're not making it easy on me either, looking like this."
Yoongi climbs over to you again, settling into a straddled position, and looks deep into your eyes. "Who's fault do you think that is?"
"It's your fault." You bend your legs and wrap them around his mid-section. You can feel the tip of his cock tease at your entrance. The anticipation is beyond grueling.
"No," he says, aligning himself up to your weeping hole. "it's yours." He then thrusts his hips forward, his length sinking into you so perfectly it has you completely satisfied.
"Y-Yours," you whimper out, unable to form a steady sentence.
"Fine." He picks up his pace. "Let's just agree we both fuck each other up on a daily---ah fuck!" Yoongi growls and gives you a suspicious look when he feels your pussy suddenly clench around his length.
"I didn't do it on purpose this time! You're fucking me too good is all."
"Really? You're not just teasing me?"
Yoongi is slow to believe since you've purposefully clenched countless times before, simply out of playfulness. Tonight is different than those nights though because you're telling the truth–he's truly fucking you so good.
"What the hell," he concedes. "You feel so fucking fantastic, I don't even care." He continues his movements, thrusting into you with deep groans and labored breaths. His fingers grip the mattress harder with the veins in his neck bulging out.
Both your bodies move in sync as the familiar sound of skin slapping on skin echoes off the walls of your bedroom. You do your best to keep your moans low, not wanting to risk waking up your daughter.
"Yoon, fuck! I need to come, it's gonna-fuck-happen soon," you swear, pussy throbbing at the feeling of being so full after weeks of abstinence. You can tell you're reaching your high with the bundle of nerves in your core threatening to snap at any given moment.
Of course, you're wet too, extremely wet.
"I'm. Nearly. There." He barely sounds the words out, jaw clenching. "Just another minute, and we can finish together."
Your eyes, which haven't left his since he entered you, begin to glass over with tears. It's overwhelming; his love for you. No matter the doubts that tell you the opposite, you can't give in to their ugly lies. You'll continue to struggle, naturally, but you won't ever let them win. Yoongi's never once given up on you, and neither should you.
"I love you, Yoon...I love you with all my soul," you choke the words, falling apart all at once. "I'm sorry for today. How jealous and irrational I got."
"Don't apologize, doll. I shouldn't have let it go so far, our lack of intimacy and alone time. I promise we're going to make it all right okay?"
Giving you one last thrust, you both have your release at the same time. Yoongi helps ride your orgasm out by lazily continuing to grind into you. Yeah, you might need to shower and switch out the sheets after tonight, but you don't regret it one bit.
"In all seriousness baby," Yoongi speaks up, guiding your legs back on the soft mattress until you’re comfortable. "Don't feel like you have to apologize for everything. I understand your feelings and where you were coming from. I will say, the silent treatment kills me though. I'd rather you yell at me than not talk to me at all."
"It's not easy for me to raise my voice like that, Yoon." You throw your arms around his neck and sigh softly. "But I can try talking to you more, or at least tell you I need some time to process before I'm ready to have a conversation. I don't know, am I making sense?"
"Plenty of sense. I'll share more about my day with you and who I'm talking to as well. We'll also carve out time to have together. I love our daughter, but I don't see the harm in reaching out to our friends and family to babysit once in a while."
"Well, this sounds good to me," you hum.
"Me too." Yoongi smiles wide and goes in for another warm kiss. Your eyes flutter shut in unison.
This is what love feels like.
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a/n: LMK what you think 🥰
Masterlist | Requests: closed | Taglist | Fic Recs
no reposting, copying, or translating my work– © kookslastbutton
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kithtaehyung · 2 months
Text
broken, pt. 2 (3tan) (m) | myg
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title: broken (pt. 2) pairing: 3tan!yoongi x reader(f) series:masterlist | three tangerines | fireworks | house party | basketball | stay | sidewalk talk | friends | dalo | like that | anytime | sundress season | yoongi’s interlude | forfeit | flutter | video call | busted | broken (pt. 1) rating/genre: m (18+) ; angst , fluff , smut ; brother’s best friend au, implied age gap au summary: the championship game lights up... and everything goes down. note: not too much to say other than thank you. this part is definitely another very, very close one to my heart. please buckle up and enjoy the ride. warnings: [spice warnings under the cut] language, angst, tension, alcohol mention & consumption, fights, basketball!yoongi🧍‍♀️, cocky!yoongi, jimin😳, tense situations, did i say angst?, long hair yoongi, crying, bro😀, reader is a real one i don’t make the rules, arguments, the chains stay on(???), …bad boy yoongi😀👍, saying softhours puts some of this lightly, bro🥲, blood/wound mentions, hurt/comfort, there’s just a lot in here y’all idek, taehyung being the best ever, …angst. drop date: february 9th, 2024, 10:37pm est word count: 17.7k my god
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smut warnings: cursing, choking, light slapping, breast play, angry s*x a ha ha, crying, multiple explicit scenes y'all istg don't perceive me lol, c*nt slapping, penetrative s*x, brat!reader, protected s*x, edging, consent king ofc :), rough s*x, b*cksh*ts and a lot of them, ...unprotected s*x (yeah it's here and y'all better be responsible or so help me!!!), f*ngering, or*l (m/f rec), brat tamer!3tan yoongi!!!, reader loses themselves for a sec, but yoongi is a king, pain k*nk whewwww, kissing, so much kissing lmfao, c*m play, slight bond*ge (yoongi hands), spanking, aftercare ofc :'))
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-
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There’s no way.
How the fuck is he here? When did that horrible excuse of a guy even join a team? Had he been playing intramurals this whole time? 
“No fuckin’ way.”
Your eyes find your brother standing rigid at your side, wrists tensed to hell and shoulders spiked. Did he not know he was playing, either? Judging by his smoldering question, you’re going to guess he wasn’t aware. 
“Were they always on this team?” 
“No.”
“I don’t remember them being on any teams.”
They? Them? So they recognize more from the court on that day you try to not think about. Shifting your vision, you start gauge reactions under sounds of the growing crowd. 
It’s Yoongi that looks at you first, eyes lowering to the hand you still have on your arm damn it you should be okay about that night already. But you can’t seem to let your limb go, your fingers covering it in a weak attempt at protection and resilience. 
The blaze in his eyes makes you shake. Even as you swallow your pleas for everyone to just go home, he doesn’t look away. Instead, he walks over to stand in front of your knees, motioning for you to scoot over one so he can take the end seat.
Normally, you would slightly question why he wouldn’t just sit next to you. But this time, you’re hyper aware of what he’s doing—and why. It’s so obvious that you wanna reach out and grip his sweaty hand. 
Yoongi absolutely sat there to shield you.
And your heart burns and burns.
If only he could do more, be more, show more. Because with a rattled ego and tainted mind, you’re already yearning for his touch, wanting him to whisk you out of here and bring you back to the comfort of his home—just like he did that night. 
God, he makes you dizzy doing absolutely nothing. 
“What’s the plan,” he asks, eyes on the court and palms between his knees.
“Dunno yet.” Your brother shakes his head before looking back, eyes narrowing at the laughs on the other bench. “But I might get my ass thrown out if we—”
“Play.” 
Immediately, all three of them snap their heads your way. Fuck, your arm is still… 
One person cannot have this hold on you. There’s no way you’re going to let him control your every waking moment, and your determination bubbles into your commands. “Play the game and beat his ass,” you seethe, holding yourself together and aiming daggers everywhere. “Just make it quick.” 
Yoongi gives you a look before Jimin snags him with an eyebrow raise. 
“And you’re paying me double.” 
Looking at the man beside you, it’s almost comforting seeing his attention fully on your face. If it weren’t for your ghost on the other side of the scoring table and your brother standing there, you wouldn’t hesitate to kiss him. 
But you only nod, getting a huff and a lopsided curve in response before you watch him lock eyes with your brother, “What do you wanna do?” 
After a long, resigned sigh, your sibling finally relents, “Fuck this shit up.” 
Good. Yes. This is what you want—for you and them. “Exactly.” 
Scanning around the tight circle, you notice that you have everyone’s attention. 
But one person seems to send a question without any words at all. In kind, you answer the same way, wings battering your stomach when all of them send thunder to the court with lightning in their eyes.
Yoongi scoffs through a slant, carrying the air of someone you never want to mess with in your fucking life. “The fuckin’ nerve.” 
Jimin hums, sliding a finger along his flexed to hell jaw. “Bold,” he adds. And his voice drop sends shivers when he turns to you,
“Don’t worry, love.” 
You stare.
“This will be over soon.” 
-
-
The game is… just a game. For now.
No one’s taunted hard other than a few smirks and winks, and right now it seems as if both teams are just being competitive more than antagonistic. Which relaxes you to the point where you’re cheering from the bench with the other players—and their coach that arrived late—jumping and yelling and clapping when things go in their favor.
Your brother’s slamming down dunks. Jimin’s been playing amazing defense with his quick reflexes and high stamina.
And Yoongi? Has gotten sickeningly sharp. All those late nights at the rec center are paying off in this championship and, when he scores a hard shot, the pride you feel launches you to your feet. 
“Nice job, b—” Oh fuck you almost shout something that should never be public knowledge. Holding your tongue, you quickly switch it up with a hasty, “Let’s go!” 
That was close. Way too close. 
Get it together. 
But you cannot help it right now. Seeing Yoongi facing off against the man you both wanna square up against? And making it look easy? The fluttering you feel in your belly grows double. Triple. Tenfold. His gestures, the way he acts like it’s nothing, his shrugs at their failed attempts to stop him—everything’s making you scratch proverbial walls and kick bench chairs. 
And it’s not just him—the whole team has been playing excellently. Each play seems intentional; every pass and movement is strategic. If you didn’t know this was a casual rec game, you would think they’re gunning for a real, prestigious trophy. 
However. 
When it’s starting to be very clear who the better squad is, that’s when things start getting more than tense. 
On a foul call, both sides start getting in each others’ faces. And you peg that as normal until someone on your team gets shoved and your brother immediately gets between the action. 
Both you and the coach shoot up from your seats. 
Shit, shit, shit. If there’s one thing your older sibling’s gonna do in this game, it’ll be finding any excuse to deck that man in the face. And once that happens, there’s no telling how many injuries are gonna walk off polished floors.
Thankfully, everyone separates without a ruckus, and timeout is called on your side. The crowd starts to yell in favor of either team, and that’s when you notice that Taehyung has been joined by Shiv and your friends. From the looks of things, all five of them are laser focused on you. 
You hold a quick thumbs-up before you’re covered by hot and sweaty men huddling around the bench. And you immediately agree with their coach when he barks, 
“I need you all to calm down.” 
“No can do, coach.” 
“Not if they aren’t.” 
Shit. All of them look fucking livid, not giving any shits whatsoever if they’re willing to talk back to their leader. What’s really been happening on the court? Has it been even more tense than you perceived? 
Oblivious to the context behind this matchup, their coach keeps yelling, “Look, I don’t give a shit if you have something to settle. Play the game and leave it on the floor. Understood?” When there’s charged silence, he yells it even louder. 
And a smattering of agreement comes out before all of you hear an even bigger yelling session booming from the other bench. When you look over, it’s quickly noticeable that they’re getting reamed over there, too. 
Jimin watches before speaking, and it seems like your coach’s pleas fell on deaf ears, “Fifteen went for my legs.” 
“Saw that. Let’s switch cus he can’t guard me.” 
“K.” Park swivels his head to address someone else. “You good to keep playing?” 
Your brother responds with a nod, wiping his never-ending sweat. “Yeah, I’m good.” 
Huh. Even though you know he’s mad, the man seems… Calm. Eerily calm. It’s reminding you of the way he acted after you came home from Yoongi’s. 
And you don’t like it one bit. 
But the timeout is over, and both teams eye each other on their walk back onto the court. As it continues, the gym erupts into life again, with a bit of back and forth shots racking the scoreboard up. 
And Yoongi keeps scoring. And scoring. And scoring. 
Which lands him in a bit of trouble when the same idiot from Dalo pushes him during a layup. After he manages to make the shot, Yoongi immediately flicks him off—which gets a whistle blown. Which also means he has to sit on the bench for a second because his coach is pissed. 
Ignoring the scathing remarks being thrown, he dumps himself next to you. And you immediately feel the heat roll off of him in waves, trying hard to focus on the game. “Don’t be stupid,” you jut out. 
“What?” 
“Don’t be stupid. These guys aren’t worth it.” 
“After what he did to you?” 
The way those words leave his mouth ice you over, flares spiraling through every fiber of your being. Your reaction is so visceral that you can barely get your response out, “Yeah, but…” 
Leaning on his knees, Yoongi wipes his forehead with a crinkled to hell jersey, excess sweat pinging onto his sneakers. The crowd is loud and the buzzers even louder, but they aren’t enough to drown out his bite,
“I can’t let that shit go.” 
“Yoongi.” 
“Sorry, doll.” 
“Please just—” 
Yoongi leaves the bench before you can finish, and you whip your head in a rush, hands jutting out in a desperate attempt to hold him back. 
Only for him to be just out of reach. 
-
-
After halftime, it’s a whole different game. 
From an outside perspective, it’s as if everyone was using the first half to sniff each other out, circling around each other before deciding how and when to go in for the kill. 
And Yoongi isn’t the only one that you’re starting to worry about. Jimin, your brother, and even Rohan and the other guys are on edge, playing hard and doing everything they can to keep their scoring lead. 
Both you and their coach know you can’t stop whatever’s going on out there. And you’re starting to feel yourself getting angry at how your brother and them are egging the guys on. 
Why are they taunting? What the hell is making them so bent on making the other team pissed? Yes, all that went down with you, but nothing else had happened since then. And they clearly aren’t listening to anyone telling them to calm down.
If they end up starting shit you are going to—the fuck! 
Yoongi gets straight shoved again as he goes for a layup, and you shoot up in your chair as he hits the back wall with a thud. While the players at your side are yelling and everyone on the court starts grouping in shouts, you stay rigid, solely watching Yoongi eye his attacker—the same idiot from Dalo.
Fuck everything, you wanna rush into the fray and throw hands yourself because that looked painful.
The only thing that’s stopping you is the chilling fact that Yoongi is… Grinning. 
Wiping his curved lips, he waits while the refs break up the squabble, still looking triumphant as he walks to the line to shoot his free throws. When both of them are made, he stares directly at your assaulter—as you finally call it like it is—and doesn’t stop even when the coward looks away.
A whistle blows, and the game continues to be close. Too close, too close, too close. A couple more timeouts let you see just how laser-focused everyone is, and you’re a little shaken when it feels like they forgot you were even occupying their bench. 
What the hell is being said on the court? Even Jimin is brimming with anger. 
But after a few back and forths, Yoongi passes to your brother for a hard dunk, basket ringing from his throwdown and shaking when he lands. 
Thank god. Those points are enough. They’re gonna win. 
All the pent up anxiety you’ve harbored all game releases as everyone starts cheering, and your pride soars as your boys stare down their opponents while the clock winds down.
It’s over. The game is over, nothing too serious happened, and you can all go the fuck home to eat dinner and celebrate. 
Your eyes catch Yoongi throwing a rudely lopsided curve across the court. Even when Jimin comes up to push him back in excitement, his expression doesn’t change. 
And you find that wildly, unfathomably attractive. 
Then, as it goes, your brother comes up and they all share quick daps, eyes ablaze and not letting the losers out of their sight. 
Well. All of them are infamous for a reason. You would guess their energy altogether certainly contributes to that. Because the aura you feel oozing from them fills the gymnasium all the way up to your knees. 
And the sigh you let out mingles with their coach’s shake of his head.
-
-
Things are still tense as they all shake hands—or at least offer hands to shake—with the other team. The atmosphere is even a little iced when they receive their trophy. 
But the way you’re currently being surrounded as your guys converse hides you from plain sight, so you feel heavily protected. Even Jimin, who’s usually cheerful even when exhausted, wields sharp eyes as he keeps glancing over his shoulder. 
Honestly? You wouldn’t know what to do without them. Both your brother and all his friends, good pasts or not, are great people. They didn’t need to shield you like this. But they’re doing it anyway, because they won’t give that lowlife another reason or chance to approach you. 
Yeah. Your older sibling knows how to choose his circle.
It’s making you wonder if… 
Nah. 
That’s still too big a reach. 
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When it seems like all of them and their cheering squad are gone, everyone starts making their way over to the bleachers—and you’re acutely reminded of what went down under similar looking ones the other night. 
Your shivers are overshadowed by Yuri’s telltale screams to Rohan, “You were so good, baby! Are you okay?”
Reia and Dom shake their heads before focusing on you, the latter being the spokeswoman, “So what was all that for?”
“Don’t ask,” you sigh, knowing exactly what she’s referring to. “I’m just glad they won and that we can go home.”
“You’re not coming to Yuri’s?” Reia asks. “I thought we planned on that, no?”
Ah, shit. Earlier this week, you did make plans with them without really thinking about what day they were gonna fall on. But now you’re so mentally drained that you kinda just wanna go—
“Is anyone else starving? I’m hungry as fuck!” 
Right. Food. Adrenaline made you forget you were starving. Glancing towards your brother, you quickly remind him, “Yeah, me. And you’re paying.”
“Ah, shit, that’s right.” As he lets out a hard groan and deals with Jimin and Yoongi’s comments, your sibling relents, “Alright, where are we going.”
“Up to you,” you shrug, stealing a little look at the man you want to kiss like hell for his performance tonight. 
God, Yoongi’s so handsome. As Jimin leaves his side, he silently wipes his forehead of any excess sweat, hands and shoulders shining in the lights wait wait wait. Hold on. 
Walking over, you toss any care about who notices you out the window. And as he eyes your approach, you murmur with care and concern, “Is your back okay?” 
Blinking once, twice, the man nods. “Yeah, it’s all good.”
“You sure? That looked…”
Of course he decides that now is the perfect time to rake his sweaty locks back. Speaking so low that only you can hear, Yoongi reassures with a fist full of hair, “I’m fine, doll.” 
Motherfucker. 
Pinning down your urge to reach out and smother him, you only breathe relief. And before you move away to put some distance between, you whisper, “Thank you.”
Yoongi looks your way again. “For what?” 
Swallowing what’s left of your anxiety, you sigh. “For not getting into it out there. I was about to get mad as hell, but.. Looks like they were all talk.” 
“Mm.”
Honestly? It’s a miracle. The game’s over without any hitches or brawls? More relief starts blossoming in your chest, prompting a smile to grace your features. “You looked so good out there, by the way. I almost called you ba—”
“What are y’all talking about over there!”
Your mouth snaps shut as soon as you see your brother watching, but Yoongi is quick to fire off an insult, “The way you always take so long to pick something.”
“I picked already!”
“Then let’s go then.”
Laughing, you join the whole crew as you’re all the last ones to walk out. Your friends and Shiv parked in another lot since one side was already full, so you tell them you’ll meet at the restaurant.
Some other teammates decide to join, with jerseys being shucked off as everyone heads out the door. Immediately, body odor swoops into your nose, making you welcome the crisp, fresh air of night. 
Scratch that. You smell oncoming rain. 
Conversations cease, which only leaves the sound confirming your observation: booming, rolling thunder. Stopping at the edge of the gym’s awning, multiple heads turn up at the rumbles, watching lightning crack the sky. 
In front of you, Jimin shifts his head to the side. “Still?” 
And when you look at who he’s asking, you see Yoongi nod. 
Weird. 
But it’s not raining just yet, so all of you make your way into the lot and to your cars. As you do, you check your phone while making your way over, aiming a question at Tae, “You know where we’re going?” 
“Yeah, it’s not far,” he responds, fishing out his own device. “I think we’ve been there before.” 
We? Looks like things are progressing nicely over there. Since you’re lingering behind the guys, you start to take a small jab, “We, huh? Cute.” 
Lips spread as tight as his eyes, Taehyung parries. “Cute? Look who’s talking, miss whipped.” 
“You’re whipped.” 
“No, you.” 
“No, you,” you giggle out, reaching out to tickle Tae’s side and laughing as he flinches away. You chase him for a few seconds before you see his whole body freeze completely, asking a small question before going quiet.  
And when you slowly follow his line of vision, your heart freefalls to your gut, smashing it so hard you feel bile sting the back of your throat. 
The man from Dalo. And all the guys from the court plus some. 
Surround both Jimin’s and your brother’s cars.
Fuck. Oh, fuck, there’s so many of them, standing and waiting and unflinching in the bursts of thunder inching closer and closer what the fuck are you gonna do— 
“Taehyung.”
Your eyes shake. 
“Get her out of here. Now.”
And you’ve never screamed so loud. 
Every word rips out of your mouth before you’re promptly shushed by large fingers, icicles pinging around your heart and holding it down, “Don’t fucking do thi—!” 
To your horror, Tae’s already hauling you back, voice low and firm in your ear, “Come on.” 
“No! What the fuck—” 
“We’re leaving.”
“Please—!”
There are so many of them. So, so many of them. Panic drowns out your words and excess leaks out of your eyes, your own storm preventing you from seeing that your best friend is just as torn apart. 
“Babe, we have to go now.” 
“No, let me go!” 
They’re outnumbered. What if they have weapons? What if the police are called? What if something happens that you aren’t prepared for?
You’re screaming. Curses, their names, or whatever whatever you don’t even know what the fuck you’re saying because your toes are kissing the edge of madness. 
Dragged a good distance away, your yells devolve into incoherency, your nose and eye sockets smashing into Taehyung’s solid forearm so hard it hurts. 
Make it out, make it out, make it out. For the love of everything in the fucking universe and beyond it, make it out alive. 
Some movements and backs straightening are the last things you see before getting pulled around the corner.
And when Yoongi calmly rolls one of his shoulders, you feel a wick of your soul burn out.
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Panic. Worry. Panic and more panic. The car ride that Tae paid for is the blurriest muddy water you’ve ever waded through.
Truthfully, you don’t even remember blankets being pulled over your shoulder. Where even are you? Oh, you’re in a bed. Whose bed are you in because this isn’t yours. But what does it matter anyway what does anything matter anyway nothing matters there’s nothing you can do you gotta get up and go back over there get up get up go—
As soon as you yank his bedroom door open, Taehyung is there, holding you back and pushing your frantic energy back inside. “Tae, if you don’t let me—”
“Do what!”
“I’m going back!” Wrestling out of his strong hold, you bolt down his hallway, head clanging as your shoulder bumps into a wall. “We need to go back—”
“Stop!” You hear running as you burst through the living room, whizzing past the glowing television. “We have to stay here—”
No no no. There’s no way you’re staying here when you need to be back at that lot. Who the fuck would call for help if anyone needs it? When they’re gonna need it? Your vision proves so blurry you can’t even find your shoes—
Arms wrap around your waist and you fight back with a scream, “Let me go!”
“Stop and just think for a second—”
“Why aren’t you with me on this, they’re—”
“Dumb as fuck!” 
Your friend’s quick comment is so sharp it cuts your breath. As you still in his firm but comforting hold, you finally stop to breathe. Breathe, breathe, breathe as you’re turned to level a look with his eyes.
Eyes that are red-rimmed and so, so raw. “They’re idiots,” Taehyung grits out. “But they will be alright.” 
From the shake of his voice, you find that neither of you think that for sure. 
“I need to.. To…” Your breaths are ragged, energy spent and head dizzy from your quick exit from his bed. As you come down from your volcanic high, every weight the world places on your back proves too much. 
“You need to relax,” Tae advises, guiding you further back inside. And you don’t speak as he leads you past the couch, past the pictures on his hallway wall, and into the dark of his bedroom.
Maybe it’s over. Right? Maybe someone will answer if you ring them up. “Call. I need to call…” 
“Shh,” he soothes again, walking you backwards away from his door. When the bends of your knees hit his bed, Taehyung lets you down slowly until you’re sitting. “I’ll do it.” 
Brain fried from hyperactivity, you can only nod. 
Your friend steps away to fiddle with his phone, the light illuminating his beautiful features in the night. When he holds it to his ear, this is when you hear rain and the television in the living room, noticing that it’s playing a movie he watches for comfort. 
Shit. He’s going through it just like you are, and yet he’s still finding energy to calm your nerves? What have you even done to deserve him?
Guess you know how to choose your circle, too. 
Going unanswered, Taehyung lowers his hand, thumb rubbing the homescreen before gripping the device hard. 
Both of you are in the same boat. So steer when he can’t do it anymore. Soft but assertive, you rise to your feet, offering your embrace while calling his name, “..Tae.”
When he turns, the man wastes no time in dropping his phone to bring you in close. “It’ll be okay,” he murmurs, and you hear his words on your head but feel the trembles in his chest. “Okay?”
Feeble fingers grab at his soft shirt, and you bury into his scent while soaked and tired eyes shut. 
You want to believe him. You do. You do. 
But hope may be a bitch. 
So you don’t. 
-
-
Forever passes while you both lie still in his bed, with Taehyung holding you close and keeping you subdued with notes of honey and wood. You both try to have conversation, but it’s disjointed and manufactured, so giving up is a group effort. 
You’re about to give up on a lot of things before you both jolt at Tae’s phone vibrating. 
The world shifts quick as you both sit up, the call immediately being accepted and a low greeting whooshing at your side, “Hey.”
With bated breath, you hear Jimin on the line. “Hey.” 
“You okay?”
“Yeah, we’re all alright, but…”
We. We, we, we, all of them thank the fucking world. As your breath is held, Taehyung’s voice is solid, “Say it.”
“My eye is pretty fucked. Yoongi’s face is cut up and he’s got some nasty bruises on his—” 
You don’t even remember yanking the phone to your mouth. “Where is he.”
Jimin audibly pauses on the line before having the audacity to chuckle. Irked and feeling ire bubble back to the surface, you seethe, “This isn’t funny, Park. Where the fuck is he?” 
“With us.” Us. Shit. “In the car.” 
Oh. 
“Your brother’s here, too.” 
“Ah.” That means they’re all there. They’re all heading home. “Am I on speaker.” 
“Umm.. Yeah.” 
As much as you’re relieved they’re all okay, stockpiled anxiety transforms into anger, your limit striking the thundering sky. “Actually, you know what? Good. Now I can say you’re all idiots and immature as fuck.” 
It’s your sibling that responds first. “Hey, wait a damn minute—” 
“I waited long enough!” you scream, ignoring Taehyung’s wide eyes. 
You know you need to relax. But you can’t help what’s happening right now and all you feel is pain. “I know this shit isn’t new to y’all, but really? You didn’t need to do this.” 
“He was gonna—”
“All you had to do was play the game! Why’d you have to make them mad? Do you even know what could’ve happened back there?” Damn it, you weren’t supposed to cry during this part, not when you just want them to know they fucked up. 
And the response is dead silence. Because of course it is. But if they won’t answer you here, they’re gonna answer another, “Just tell me one thing,” you plead. “Is this gonna happen again?” 
That one your brother answers with finality. “They won’t be coming around anymore.” 
Gulping, you give Taehyung a glossy-eyed look before staring at his lit screen again. Trying not to let your voice waver, you accept his response, “Okay… Are you okay?” 
“Me? Yeah, the hits I took were weak as fuck. I’ll get home soon so if you wanna order in tonight we can.” 
“Fuck that.” 
“Huh?” 
What an idiot. “Bro, you don’t even know how fucking mad I am,” you accuse through gritted teeth. There’s no way in hell you wanna deal with their bullshit. Ignoring your pleas and staring harm in the face? Forget it. “I’m going to Yuri’s.” 
“What? Nah, come home tonight and we’ll talk.” 
“I just—No.” Taehyung has to grip your shoulder before pulling you into a hug. And you’re still steel in his arms because you haven’t been this upset in ages. “I’m not talking to any of you for awhile.” 
And you mean that. 
“…Fine. But go asap then. I don’t want you out late on your own.” 
So you gotta listen to what he wants but when it comes to what you say, it’s crickets? Goddamn, you’re furious. “…Of course you don’t.”
And you hang up before anyone can say anything else. 
-
-
You open the front door to your brother leaning against the hallway wall.
Both of you eye each other, one of you with a perfectly fine face and the other that isn’t so lucky because he’s a fool.
And no words are exchanged as you trudge your frustration to the kitchen. 
-
-
Ice. Bandages. Dinner. Anger propels you through it all.
Whipping up a quick but hearty meal, you let your brother patch himself up after demanding he showered. The smells of comfort food waft through your nose as things sizzle on the stove and, through the whole process, you don’t think about anything except how upset you are.
They’re all okay. But like Taehyung so abruptly put it, they’re all stupid. 
As you turn off your burner, you transfer everything to a bowl, sighing so loud it seasons the top with fire. When you approach the bar, your actions speak pretty damn loud—the dish clank shoving out a question from your sibling,
“Is there something you wanna say to me?” 
“There’s a bunch of shit I wanna say to you.” 
“It’s about Yoongi,” he asks, the absence of hesitation making your insides squeeze. “Isn’t it.” 
But luckily for you, your rage is so potent that it overruns your fear. As soon as your brother stands up and starts to repeat his question, your correction clangs through the room, 
“It’s about all of you! You say you wanna be there for me but what the fuck will doing this shit do?” 
Freezing, the man waits in shock as you keep going, “Yes, that guy deserves hell. I was so scared when he grabbed me at the club.” You stop to swallow. “But I had them both there and we left.”
Fuck, this is hard. Having to relive that shit is difficult but you need your brother—and all of them, for that matter—to know how hurt you feel right now. Mustering up enough bravery to get to the goddamn point, you finally squeak out, 
“If I lose them? Lose you? Because of something as stupid as a fight?” Your eyes search his, and your heart cracks when you see glassy sheen amongst his bruises. “What would I do then?” 
You expect silence. And silence is what you get. It’s drawn out, loud, and telling. “We know.” 
“Do you?”
“Yes,” he whispers, eyes lifting to meet yours with sincerity. “And we’re sorry.”
Another moment passes between the two of you, the food you made left uneaten on the counter and the rest sitting still on the stove. But you know your sibling will eat it all tonight, whether you’re there or not. 
And you step forward at the same time he holds his battered arms out. 
Freshly showered, he still smells like rain and exertion. But his heart beats under your chest, he’s present, and back home—things you need to stop taking for granted. 
But you’re still mad. And getting things off your chest has only made you tired, so you decide that it’s finally time to go before you circle back to other scary territory brought up tonight. “I’m leaving now,” you announce as you step away. “But just think about that.” 
“I will.”
“I’m serious.” 
“I will.”
Staring, you take note of his cuts and injuries, wondering how the others are faring even though you don’t wanna deal with anything else. Because it hurts too much, and if you see who you’re thinking about, there’s no telling what you’d do if you were like this with your brother. There’s no telling how you’d…
No. You choose to go the easy route this time. Everyone can simmer in their sore, swelling consequences while you have a night of de-stressing with your friends. 
So you leave to go pack without another word. 
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It’s raining. 
Hard.
And even though your car is heading to Yuri’s, your heart is beating backwards. Tugging you somewhere else and not letting up. 
With a ping of chill, you can’t shake it. Braking at a stop sign close to your destination, you sit in silence, letting the rain pelt every side of your vehicle and wondering what the hell to do. 
Truthfully? Your brother looked like shit. But your body isn’t telling you to go back to the house, which can only mean one other place. And you know for a fact you don’t wanna talk to him, either. 
So fucking upsetting. They did all that for what? You can barely keep your thoughts in a row because they keep yelling at jostling each other just like everybody did on the court. If anyone had to fight the dipshit, it should've been you. 
Fuck! Your head connects with the wheel, an inner monster rumbling with the thunder because you’re so fed up with everything that happened. 
Your brain is the one yelling. But your heart is begging for it to listen. Go to Yuri’s? Go to Yoongi’s. Find shelter in that warm bed of hers and sink in her plushies to comfort you? 
A sigh. Maybe you can at least call him to tell him off one more time. He needs to hear what you told your brother because if you ever, ever lose him—
Your eyes burn. 
Yoongi: Outgoing Call
No answer.
Yoongi: Outgoing Call
Pick up. What the fuck.
Yoongi: Outgoing Call
…Turn the fuck around shit, shit, shit.
Curses flying, you whip your vehicle in a flash, heart pounding so loud it’s blocking out the storm. Which is morbidly impressive considering how horridly it’s pouring. 
Thinking in leaps, you pivot and make another decision. Tell her and make it all quick. 
Yuri: Outgoing Call
“Hello?”
“Hey, I’m not coming.”
“You okay?”
“I’m going to Yoongi’s.”
“Yoongi’s? Why?”
Ah, shit. Oh, fuck. She doesn’t know. 
Banging the steering wheel, you smash your teeth, stressed as hell from braving the rain in the dark and now snitching on yourself to someone else. 
Damn it. What do you say? What can you possibly even say when you’re so mad and stressed and conflicted and worried—
“Hello?”
“Because he’s the one,” you whoosh out, your vision quivering twice as much as it should. “And things went down after the game and now something feels wrong.”
“Oh, shit. Is that why y’all didn’t come to—”
“Yes.” When you say all this out loud, now it has weight. Horrifying weight on your chest and a block pushing down on the gas. You hear a bit of shuffling on the line, and you’re starting to get so anxious that you blurt, “Please don’t say anything. Please.”
“I won’t. Not about this.”
“Thank you.”
“Hang up, babe. Make it safe.”
“Okay.”
Go, go, go. Please, just get there. 
Letting up, you change your speed, hoping to everything good in the world that this feeling you have is only a feeling and nothing more. 
Yoongi: Outgoing Call
What a strange emotion, wanting his reason for not picking up solely being because he doesn’t wanna talk to you. That is an answer you can deal with. 
But you still can’t fight off the jagged pulses telling you it’s something else. 
After an agonizing drive, you finally see his complex, tensing harder the further and further away you have to park. 
Whipping into a spot, you screech into it before hauling your bag out, popping the trunk and desperately grabbing a plastic box you always keep inside. 
And the mad dash drenches you long before you seek cover, your bones shivering shivering shivering from the chill.
Yoongi has to be home. His car is here. 
But he still won’t pick up the fucking phone.
Skidding at his door, your knocks are rapid, knuckles singed from the ice cold wraps.
Answer, answer, answer. For fuck’s sake, he better answer. 
After a haunting moment of silence, you decide to call one more time, head wet and bones shivering as you press the phone to your damp ear. 
Finally. “Hello.” 
“Open the door,” you jump into commanding, hearing nothing other than a voice that sounds so crushed and low that it crumples you inside. 
“You’re here?” 
“Yeah, let me in.” Fuck, your teeth are clattering against each other, whether it’s from the rain, the cold, or anger, you can’t tell. 
But the reply you get is the coldest thing imaginable. And it sets your whole body aflame. 
“Not tonight.”
Hell no. Hell fucking no Yoongi is not going to get rid of you that easily. Not when you have a boatload of things to say and only one dock to dump them all on, “Yoongi, I swear to god—” 
“Not tonight—”
“—you don’t let me in I’m—”
“Go home—”
“I’m fucking staying out here until you open the goddamn door!”
Oh, you’re pissed. You’re so fucking pissed because this all could’ve been avoided if none of them were stupid. Or prideful. Or whatever the fuck boys decide to be when they can’t let something go. 
And this man still has the audacity to give you the stiff arm, silence on the line before he rasps out another short, “I’m serious.”
“No.”
“Go home.” 
“No!” 
He says your name. So, so softly, before a gut-wrenching, 
“Please.”
Breath shaken, you rest your forehead against chilly wood, hoping it quells the fire you feel rising from your rib cage. 
You can’t give up. Not when you have so much to say. Not when you have to check on him and make sure he’s fine. 
Not when you give into the strongest premonition that you need to be nowhere else but with him tonight. 
You will stay. Stay, stay, stay. Even if he doesn’t want to see you. 
Voice trembling in rage and concern and everything in between, you feel your eyes sear through when they close, mission boiling down to one more desperate choice, 
“…No.” 
You’re cold. And wet. But you will stand out here for as long as it takes him to let you inside—a night, a day, no matter what.
And for a moment. Or a few. You think he’s dead set on making you prove that. 
But you finally, finally, finally hear a sigh before a lock turn, and you try to prepare yourself for what you see but he opens the door and his face comes into view holy shit he looks like a wreck—
“What the fuck,” you grit out as you rush in with vision swimming, digging into your bag for the medkit you hastily stashed and swinging off your sandals because you gotta get something in the—
A hand grips you hard, tugging you back before you even register what’s happening.
As your feet stumble back onto linoleum, your gaze snaps to the ground. 
And your breath cuts like it’s your last. 
Shards. 
Pieces.
Thousands of wood and glass chips litter the entire open area of the living room. 
And realizing where they came from strikes like lightning. 
Fuck. Oh, fuck, what did Yoongi do?
“I told you, doll.”
You choke on a sob.
“Go home.”
Your breaths return before you straighten, tears flowing freely as you don’t know whether to start cleaning up the chaos or finally facing the one who caused it.
No, no, no. Get rid of it. 
Throw it out, all of it, all of it. 
A new fire roars to life, forging your steeling commitment as you wrestle out of Yoongi’s hold.
What did he do, what did he do?
Revving with smoke out of your ears, you burn a path to the kitchen, grabbing a trash bag before marching into the wreckage. Up go the biggest pieces first, chucked into plastic before the smaller ones follow.
Throw it all. This one, this one, and this one.
Yoongi isn’t even wearing shoes. He can cut himself up even more if this all stays where it is. 
Shit, this is everywhere. 
When you realize you’re gonna need a broom, you storm back into his laundry closet to yank one out and keep going. When you go to sweep, the sharpest voice cuts through your fingers.
“Stop.”
Your grit grips the tool even tighter. Because you won’t. Don’t dare look into his expression, either, because you know that one glance will melt every scream on your tongue. So you stay resolute and shoot rejection to the ground, “No.”
“Just go, please.”
“No.”
This hurts. 
This really, really hurts. 
Yoongi has never, ever said these things to you and it feels like a knife jabbing into the same spot over, and over again. You almost prefer three new months of no contact over whatever the hell this is.
But you have to keep going. Eyes clenching, lips wobbling, you must keep going. 
Because you came here for a reason other than this mess. And he’s gonna have to do better than this to kick you back out into the rain. 
“I got it.” 
“Let me do it.” 
“Your brother needs you.”
“Yeah, well, I already tore the fuck into him and I’m gonna do the same to you.” You harden your fist on the sweeper, tugging it more towards your shoulder with finality. And you gather all the energy you need to leave no more room for arguments, because Yoongi is going to listen, “So sit down.”
It hurts.
He wants to say shit. You know he wants to.
But he only breathes hard with eyes closed, following your orders and carrying his dark clouds to the dining room. 
When he finally leaves you alone, this is when you look his way. 
In sweats and a shirt, he appears fine. But with a deep pang, you notice he’s slightly limping. Judging from those knuckles, you wonder if they’re red from the fight or from hitting another wall of his apartment. 
Or from whatever the fuck happened around your feet.
Shit.
While he dumps himself at his table, you clean up the pieces of his rampage, mentally noting that one plan of yours has now changed. 
This one. These, too. A string here. A metal piece there.
You don’t know how long it takes you. All you know is that you’re burning inside, determined to clean everything and sweep this chaotic energy away. 
One more. Two more. Another one here.
As soon as you’re done, you lug the trash bag out of the front door and don’t give a shit what happens to it now.
Keep going. There’s more that you need to take care of.
The fuel inside of you rages on, anger conflicting with anxiety and past worries and sadness for something that didn’t even happen. As you spin, you vow yourself to keep pushing until you can’t anymore. 
Sniffling. Shivering. But staying strong because things could’ve gone a lot worse. 
Yoongi meets you by the table, messy, damp hair shielding his features. “You’ve done enough.” 
“I still need to—” 
“Just.” He looks away. “Go home, doll. I can’t do this tonight.” 
“Do what? I’m helping you.” 
That’s what you do for each other, right? You both help each other. But now you’re not so sure because Yoongi comes back with not an acknowledgement, nor a way of relenting. 
But ice. 
“Who said I needed it?” 
And in all the time you’ve spent with this man, this is the first time you’ve felt downright cold. “Yoongi, what?” Your eyes travel across his face, chest caving in when there’s barely any hints of vitality. “Are you serious?” 
“You think I’m joking?” 
“You’re kicking me out? What happened to saying you’d never do that, huh?” 
“I say a lot of things.” 
…Oh.
That hurt. That… That physically couldn’t have hurt any harder. 
Nodding, you look away, shaking your head in disbelief because you are on the verge of losing it. “You know what? You do say a lot of things.”
Walking away, you start rearranging pillows on the couch pushed askew. “Like how perfect I am.” Picking up his books from the now non-existent coffee table. “And how there’s no one else.” 
As you give the volumes a new home on his intact tv stand, you turn to face him again. “Those are just words, too, huh?” 
Yoongi kicks his head back with a smile, one that cuts instead of mends. “Nah… Not tonight.” 
“Not tonight what.” 
“We aren’t doing this tonight.” 
“The fuck we aren’t.” It’s his turn to walk away, with a slow head shake that you really don’t like. “Where are you going?” 
“Nowhere.” Yoongi shifts his head to the side, but not enough for you to fully see him. It’s almost as if he doesn’t want you to. “But you’re going home.” 
Something’s off. There’s something completely off but all you feel is sadness and rejection in your ribcage. “So this is how it happens, huh. Now I’m just like everyone else.” 
He finally faces you, miles away even though you’re just rooms apart. “You’re gonna go there?” 
“I am.” 
“Wow.” 
That’s what he comes back with? This is gutting you from the inside out and you have no idea what’s happening but now rage is flaring into your mouth, “You think I wanted to come here? After what all of you did?” 
“Do you even know?” 
“No! But how the fuck would I? You don’t tell me shit!” 
“That’s cus—” 
Your response sears over his floors, “I can take care of myself. But none of you told me about that dude from the court. None of you.” Breath shaken, you continue dumping out all your thoughts and previous concerns, “If I had known? That whole Dalo thing could’ve been avoided and I would’ve ran.” 
For a person that you’ve come to know as so warm, Yoongi’s entire aura freezes you over as you keep talking. “And today? You know how fucking scared I was? If I… I…” 
All he does is stare. Why isn’t he doing anything else? Is he really flipping the switch and choosing to legitimately let you leave this time?
Fine then. 
“You know what?” Giving up, you laugh—harsh, and breathy, and without any joy at all. “Forget it. You’re not even listening anyway.”
“I swear to—I just said not tonight.” 
Frustration from the game, fear from the ambush after, anxiety from not hearing from them. All of it coalesces into something you can’t even control anymore. Your buffer shuts off, the monster you created seizing the reins, “No, I get it. I do! You want me gone. Sure. See you in three more months.” 
Stunned, Yoongi huffs in disbelief, jaw working overtime. “Are you serious?” 
“Yes, I am. Trying to help you but it looks like you don’t even want that. So good fucking bye.” 
And it looks like he has a beast of his own because his next response to your last attempt has you reeling back in shock, 
“Who asked you?” 
Dark liquid drips onto your soul. 
You can only stare, unblinking and feeling like you’re in an entirely different universe. “Who asked me? Who asked me.” 
“That’s what I said.” 
Forget the question of who asked you because… Who are you even talking to? Who is this person standing in front of you because it’s not the Yoongi you know. It’s so jarring and hurtful and strange that you truly feel thrust into the middle of a nightmare. 
You’re gonna do it. You’re actually gonna leave this time. 
“You know what? Kiss my ass, Yoongi.” 
God, it hurts. It hurts. It hurts.
It hurts.
You don’t even know where this is all coming from. All you know is that you’re angry and there’s no stopping the hot magma bubbling in your center. 
Silence fills the room.
And it rains. It pours.
But finally, you hold a sob back before burning a shaky path to his door, wrestling with the lock before yanking it open—
Only to have it shut back in your face, so thrown when you realize you’re getting spun. Air whooshes out of you before your shoulder blades connect with wood—  
And this is the goddamn breaking point. The walls you haphazardly built to keep you upright collapse and tumble. It’s so potent and blinding that you don’t even realize your hands are connecting with his chest in the weakest, saddest ways and you are outright screaming. 
“God, what the fuck! I told you to—We didn’t hear from you for hours and I—I didn’t know if you were okay—” 
“Whoa, hold u—” 
“I thought the worst and I—didn’t even get a chance to—I finally told you want I wanted and you—Fuck—” 
“Just listen—” 
“Don’t ever do that again! I don’t wanna lose you and today was so fucking scary and I’m not, fucking, leaving—” 
Your lips are smashed to hell, his lips bruising so hard you feel it in the back of your skull. And it’s a whole storm as Yoongi pins you against the door, leg wedging between yours and his hands gripping you like a vice. It’s intense. It’s overwhelming. 
“I swear to—” 
You don’t know what to do. What to do what to do what to do, and all your madness jangles as you’re yanked and slammed against another wall, breath leaping into his open mouth before you tug at his hair, digging anger through his shoulders. 
“Can’t fucking listen, can you?” 
“No,” you rip from your throat, shoving him back only to gravitate right back and lock lips again. 
And he rips at your clothes, tearing the front of your shirt so far your chest emerges on full display. Before you can even react to the cuts on his face, Yoongi’s hand clenches around your throat, making you gargle just how you fucking want to right now. 
“Shouldn’t even fucking be here.” 
“When has that ever stopped us.” You groan as you get rapidly led back into something hard, and you realize it’s the dining table digging into your ass. 
“He’s still home.” 
“So?”
“Shouldn’t you—”
“Then kick me out!” you taunt. “For real. Let me go. Fucking do it then.” 
Yoongi works his jaw before gripping tighter, making you groan and your gut flare into something primal. Nostrils flaring, he moves to grip your head hard enough to make your stomach flip but not firm enough to scare you. 
Never to scare you. “You aren’t gonna leave me alone.” 
Your eyes are ice. 
“Are you.” 
You solely watch in determination, breath harsh from your nose and billowing out like steam. Drilling your answer into his eyes, you charge the surrounding air enough to spark like the flashing sky outside. 
And Yoongi cracks like lightning. 
“Goddamn it.” 
Everything happens at once and in quick succession. Teeth grit to hell, Yoongi pulls you upward before fast stepping you to his bedroom, slamming you through the door before you shove him right into his desk. 
Things teeter and shake and clang with each impact, your storm disrupting everything in its path and creating a tornado of desire and thoughts in your brain. 
Something swirls and twists between your souls, tightening and condensing into emotions darker than midnight. And as angry as you are, it’s slipping into a dangerous mania, and you’ve never been this excited for anything in your life. 
“Stubborn.” 
“Coward.” 
Your back stings as you’re pushed back into his door, the wood smacking into the spackle of his wall. Rough lips smother yours as you claw at his shoulders, neck, hair, and you hear him growl into your mouth, 
“Want me to kiss your ass? Suck my dick then we’ll talk.” 
“Fuck you. I give better head than you anyway.” 
His words rival the deepest growl, “Prove it.” 
“Make me.”
Whirlwind. Storm. Tempest. At this point, it’s a whole goddamn high. Your body is thrumming and the only way to feed your anger is to channel it through actions. 
And truth be told, you need this. You both do. With all the high strung emotions that had nowhere to go until you collided?
This is liberation. 
You’re shoved onto your knees before Yoongi dives into his pants, and you’re already hungry and impatient enough to help him shrug his sweats down before he can do it himself. 
“Choke on it,” he commands, holding his dick and watching as you note how hard he already is. When you waste no time taking him in, you elicit the deepest groan you’ve ever pulled from him when you fling spit onto his length. 
Maybe his reaction is to your face. Because you’re still mad as fuck and you aren’t done letting him know that. 
With a passing thought, you realize that this is all new. But you’re welcoming it because it’s working. Only Yoongi can bring out this passion even in anger, or maybe the two of you were going to get to this point no matter what. 
“Fuck.” He steadies the bottom of your chin while you suck him off. “Uh huh. Got anything else to say?” 
You flick him off, and he hums with a rumble, his cock reacting and hitting the back of your prideful throat. 
“Fuck you, too, doll.” His talks devolve into hisses, grunts, moans when you slobber all over yourself, and your cunt is already dripping with your own slick. “There you go. Gonna take it all? Or are you gonna keep running that mouth?” 
And you pop off before taunting, “Find out, pussy.” 
And you’re swallowing him before he shoves you all the way forward, your body arching up in a gag but filled with him him him, your nose flat against his pelvis and his dick squeezing tears from your eyes and your throat overstuffed to hell and there’s no way he’s gonna forget this moment. You’re making damn sure of it. 
Another middle finger raises as you’re tensing around him, and you can barely hear him above you but you do know he’s massively pleased. Tears stream down your eyes when you’re yanked off, gasping for air and being pulled off the ground. 
“Holy fuck.” 
Throat hoarse, you attempt speech but it doesn’t matter anyway, because his lips steal them all. And your cunt is slapped with a whole palm, making you flinch and shoot out a whine into his kiss. 
Before you know it, your body hits the bed before he joins you, arms bulging as he rips your top open completely. You can’t even think straight as he teases your earlier efforts, “I’ve had better.” 
“Oh, you fucking—Shut the fuck up,” you growl, a moan leaving without permission as he palms your cunt again. Just when you think he’s gonna top you, Yoongi hauls you up, hastily leading you around the bed until your back connects with another wall. 
You love that shit. And you’re starting to think Yoongi is very, very aware of this fact. 
“Take those fuckin’ pants off,” he orders. “And hands on the wall before I put them there.” 
“Can’t make me do shit—”
Fingers grip your chin before Yoongi gets right into your face, primal instinct making you go on full alert. As his tongue prods his cheek, your whole lower body quivers. “I can. And I will, if you don’t behave.” Tapping your jaw in a warning, he hums. “Now do what I fucking say.” 
Holy shit, he’s not playing around. Which only heightens your desire to peaks previously unreached, and you’re shucking your bottoms off while he yanks his drawer open for condoms. Hurrying, you fling your clothes away before planting—
Yoongi smashes his whole front against your back—pinning your whole body against the cold, rough wall—before intertwining long fingers with yours. “Good girl.” 
Hitching your hips back, he sticks your ass out as you slip, and you feel his cock tease your entrance. Groaning, you grip your hands into fists as he continues to rub your cunt but never enter. Denying, denying, denying. Smacking your pussy and still not letting you feel him inside. 
And it’s maddening. “Please!” 
“Please what,” he asks, giving your ass a spank that has you flinching into the wall. 
And, without any shred of mercy, this goes on for longer than he’s ever held out. It’s so sickening that tears start flowing from your eyes, and you devolve into saying anything to get him to fuck your brains out. Between spanks on your ass, slaps on your tits, and aggravating kisses on your back, Yoongi doesn’t let you phase him for minutes. 
It’s when you choke on a sob that he finally, finally squeezes inside of you, checking for your nod before wrecking you completely. 
“Oh, fuck—” Your eyes shut tight as you try to keep yourself upright, hands pushing against the wall as your legs shift with every thrust. 
“This ass. Fuck.” Yoongi’s pace is relentless, hands bruising your hips and your cheeks smacking into his pelvis over and over and over. “It’s a goddamn problem.” 
You’re trying so hard. So, so hard to stay on the wall. But your hands are too sweaty; they're starting to slip with each attempt. “Bed,” you command. “Bed now.” 
And he obliges immediately, pulling out and yanking you back. Mouth to your ear, he both checks in while making your legs jelly, “You tapping out?” 
“Break my fucking back,” you rasp in return, hearing him growl in satisfaction before burying you facedown into his bed. As he plunges inside again, you grip at his sheets, driven to the brink and reveling in all the things he’s saying to you while feeling him in your stomach. 
Suddenly, you feel your arms pulled back, and you yell into his mattress as he buries himself even deeper. Everything you’re screaming makes no sense, but the phenomenal sensation you feel as you go limp renders you speechless anyway. 
Yoongi knows exactly what he’s doing as he pushes his thumb into your asshole, because you clench so hard around him that he chuckles darker than dark. Careening into space, you kiss the edge of euphoria before he inconveniently pulls out, launching a sling of insults from your mouth. 
“What was that?” 
“I said fuck you!” 
“Thought so.” 
Not done in the slightest, Yoongi hauls your thighs so flush against him that you have to use your fingertips for support. Just as you’re about to argue, he rams into you from a new and impossibly enticing angle and holy fuck it feels so good you want to weep.
“Put that fucking hand down,” he growls, smacking away the fingers you didn’t even know were on your mouth. “If you wanna talk shit.” 
“Fuck—!” 
“Uh huh. Let it out, baby girl.”
You’ve never felt this out of control. This wild. This out of body. Your head is yanked back, your back pressing into the front of his shirt before you feel him so far into your guts that you quiver. 
Now at the mercy of his tongue in close range, you hear his gravelly tone in your ear, “What’s my fuckin’ name.” 
“Asshole—” 
A hard smack to your tits has you crumpling with a whine. “Say it.” 
“I’ll say it if I wanna say it—” 
Another spank to your inner thigh and you’re gone. Eyes roll as he tweaks your nipple, and your words are almost garbled when he grips your chin from behind. “This what we’re doing? Hmm?” 
You laugh breathy before you taunt, “Uh huh.” 
“Mm…” Despite your laugh, you shake. “I wouldn’t do that, doll.” 
“Make me. Bet you can’t.” 
Tensed and veins angry, Yoongi grips both your tits before snarling, “That’s enough.” 
Swiftly, he shoves you down into the sheets, muscular frame pinning you as he strokes up into you just right. Again. Again. It’s all too slow and too effective and you’re trying to stay mad but all you can feel is perfection, your back arching at his thrusts and mewling at his low growls in your ear. 
“You wanted this.” Another thrust. “Talking shit.” Your jaw goes slack. “Pissing me off.” 
Your groan is downright erotic. Why why why? Just knowing you’re making him this mad flutters your cunt and, from the sinister chuckle shooting into your neck, Yoongi definitely felt that. 
“Fuckin’ thought so.” 
When he reaches to grab your breasts, the last thrust has you crying out in a flurry of pleasure. 
Every single thought is Yoongi, from beginning to end in a biblical cycle of debauchery. Exertion leaves you slick, sweat coating the expanse of your skin only to press into his bed, your mess your mess your mess. At his hands. The smacks of his cock. The rolls of his hips. Are you gone? Are you here? If he’s bruised then you feel like you are, too, and you welcome the temporary pain as Yoongi’s fingers dig ever deeper into your waist fuck one’s now pinning your head down. 
The moans you let out are unending, and your thighs shake when all you get in response is a laugh of condescension. 
“Look at you. Can’t even stay mad.” 
“Fuck you!” You’re close, you’re close, you’re close again. Release is at your fingertips, but Yoongi yanks himself out to rip it away from your outstretched fingers. “No!” 
“What, doll.” 
“Please!” 
“Nah.” 
Body sore, you’re flipped over with no mercy as something else presses against your cunt. 
Fucking hell, he’s eating you out now? Shaking, you feel Yoongi’s tongue swirl around your thrumming clit before he sucks, edging you to the point of tears and heartbreak. And it proves too much as you grab at his head, yank at his hair, because he lets up when you’re close. 
Every. Single. Time. 
Your madness spirals into your curses, and he relishes in your despair, continuing to lick and suck and slap your thighs with patience. “What do you say?” 
“Please!” 
“Mm. Not loud enough.” 
“Yoongi, please.” 
“Oh, we’re saying names now?” 
Fuck, fuck, fuck, it aches. It’s starting to borderline hurt. “I’ll be good,” you barter, beg, plead with a head spinning off its own axis. “I’ll do anything.” 
“Do it yourself then.” 
Later, when you look back on tonight, you’ll be embarrassed and shy to hell. But right now, you’re so over any shyness that you don’t hesitate, reaching down to rub at your clit and moaning when it’s so sensitive.
And Yoongi gets a front row seat. 
His groan is gutteral. And it doesn’t take you long to quicken your pace, bucking your hips and whining to the ceiling. You’re so so so close it’s right there—
Your hand is smacked away. And after you try to wrestle out of his grip, you are a flat out, blubbering mess. “Yoongi… Please…” 
“Nah.” 
This is torture. And you’re frightened at how much you’re enjoying it. “I’m so close.” 
“You’ll come when I say you can.” 
“Please! …Please..”
“You done being a brat?” 
“No! Fuck. Yes!” If you weren’t so far gone, you may have deciphered a tiny smile of amusement. But it won’t be for months later until you’ll realize that you were wrong. 
Because the menacing flash of teeth you see is much too wide to be anything other than pride. “The fuck did I say? Use your words.” 
You know you’re still upset. You know Yoongi is still upset. But for some reason, you feel closer to him than you have in awhile, and you wonder if lust and madness are two sides of the same coin. “Let me come. Please.” 
Yoongi finally obliges with something he hadn’t pleasured you with yet. And your vision blanks as you yelp at the sensation, his slick fingers pistoning into your folds so fast you’re arching so taut. From between your quivering legs, you hear one final command, 
“Then fucking come.” 
And you burst, so hard you almost feel like something threatens to spew from your cunt. But all you can do is shake and thrash under his grip, so erratic that you feel like Yoongi’s starting to pin you down. Gone, gone, gone, you’re sure the veins of your neck threaten to break through your sweaty skin. 
Then you feel his cock thrust inside of you, and you whip your head forward only to get your airway cut off. “Again,” he calmly repeats, flinging you back to the last time this happened. 
Only this time, there’s even less room for you to make any other choice. 
“I said again.” 
Your body cannot fathom disobedience, pulsing and milking his perfect fit. Over, and over, and over. You hear rumbling from a dragon above, feel breaths of steam whooshing as it watches you come undone. 
“Yoongi—” 
A light slap to your cheek is your only warning before your chin is tugged, lips smushing into yours to swallow your straining sobs. Fuck, fuck, fuck, your body is still thrumming, inundating around his cock until your emotions spill from your core. Toes. Fingers. Everything is straining and locking in place. 
“So fucking hot.” He rips your soul right out. “Shit.” 
You fly through time and space, gathering emotions and feelings and spiraling spiraling spiraling. Crying. You’re crying. Full on crying you’re so overwhelmed with everything truly you were so mean to him you upset him holy fuck you should’ve left when he told you to—
“Baby.” 
But you cannot stop crying, choke choke gasping on sobs. 
“Babe.” 
“I—I—” 
Your name stabs you with a crisp shot, coupled with a firm grip on your chin, snapping you back to lucid. And Yoongi’s eyes are frantically searching your own. “Look at me.” 
You do. Do you? You do. And his eyes… 
They’re not angry at all. It’s pure concern. Steadfast concentration. And something reflecting your soul. “Breathe.” 
“Oh, shit,” you whisper, coughing and reaching for oxygen you didn’t know you were denying. Air rushes back into your lungs as you inhale. 
“There you go. Keep going.” 
You do, gulping down air and hiccuping a breath or two. Your cheek is being caressed, you think. And with another pass, you know it is. 
“Relax for me.” And you hiccup a sob. “Breathe, babe.” 
You do, you do, you do. Yoongi kisses your forehead, your cheeks, your nose, and you breathe more and more through it all. “You with me?” 
“Always,” you answer, filter off because you are hanging by a thread and he’s holding the top. “Please don’t kick me out ever,” you hiccup. “Please, baby, I’ll do anything for you but I—could—never handle that—” 
You’re tenderly hushed before lips slide over yours, attempting to swallow your thoughts and your sobs and your oncoming tears. As you flood his bed with apologies, Yoongi keeps wiping them all.
“I’m sorry.” 
“Nothing to be sorry for.” 
“I’m really sorry.” 
“Babe.” 
“You told me so many times—” 
“Breathe, angel.” 
You blink at the change in name, and it makes you focus just a bit stronger. Floating down from the precipice. 
“I wasn’t kicking you out,” he slowly explains, kissing sweat from your forehead. His words feel like a calm, rock-filled river over your eyes. “I felt like an idiot and hated you seeing me like this.” 
“Like what?” 
“Just… Like this.” 
“You’re perfect like this,” you hitch out, not caring about what flows out of your mouth. “So perfect. Always to me. I just wanted to help you, baby, I’m so sorry—” 
He hugs you so tight more tears squeeze out. 
And so do more confessions, “I… I care about you. I think a little too much. If I lost you, I wouldn’t—be able—” 
“I’m here.” 
“So please don’t push me away.” 
“I won’t.” 
“I know you don’t make promises but—” 
“I promise.” Without an ounce of doubt, Yoongi places a firm, lingering kiss on your temple. “Promise. Fuck.” As he holds you tight, you feel him shake before you hear the tiniest sniff at your ear. 
Oh. He doesn’t need to be like this, too. You try to move your hand up between your bodies to comfort him, but your whole limb feels gelatinous. So you simply whisper, “It’s okay, baby.” 
You can’t tell how long you lie like this, with his beautiful weight on yours. But time is irrelevant when your mind is unwinding from hours of whirring, starting to finally accept the fact that everyone is okay and you don’t have to be angry anymore. 
“Come on,” Yoongi rasps, voice cracked and airy. “Let’s go.” 
“Hmm?” 
“Shower.” 
“Oh. Okay.” 
You’re so thrown and dizzy from what just happened that even getting to the bathroom is a blur. What you kinda feel is Yoongi holding you upright when your legs buckle, but you don’t remember when he leaves your side to turn the water on. 
As he flips on the light, your eyes squeeze until they adjust, and you watch as he tests the water while fully clothed. Air conditioning starts to give you a chill, but the shower warms up just in time because he reaches out to guide you inside. 
Wait. Is he not joining you? Bleary, you grab at his shirt when he steps away, eyes pleading. “Are you coming in, too?” 
Yoongi stops before he gives a shake of his head. “I’ll take mine when you’re done,” he says through a slight smile. “We’ll take care of you first.” 
That doesn’t make sense. Even in your depleting haze, you know something doesn’t add up. “You can join me now. I don’t mind.” When you try to lift his shirt, Yoongi visibly flinches when you brush over his ribs.
And all the murk around your head vanishes in a snap. 
He kept his shirt on that whole time. Not once did your positions allow you to see his upper body fully. And now he’s not gonna get in the shower or take his shirt off? 
Your voice lowers two octaves when you reach full clarity. “Let me see.” 
Unblinking, Yoongi tries to back away, “Don’t worry—” 
“Let me see it, baby,” you command, breath cut until he finally allows you to lift his shirt up holy fuck those injuries look so painful tears prick your eyes. “Oh, my god, Yoongi—” 
“I’m fine.” 
“You’re hurt.” You feel these wounds deep in your ribs, and you tell him to get your kit what the hell he fucked you while feeling those? 
Attempting to alleviate your stress, Yoongi decides to strip fully and step into the shower, ignoring your pleas to grab your med kit and promising you can take care of him when you’re done washing up. 
“Are you sure you’re okay?”
“Yes, doll.” 
“Are you sure?” 
“Promise.” 
And when his arms wrap around you, this is when you finally let go. Huge, chest-wracking sobs echo around tile, and Yoongi stays quiet through your cathartic release. 
There’s another reason you were so upset. And it has nothing to do with any of them, but with yourself. The main reason you’ve been so riled up and frustrated is because… This is technically your fault, too. 
But, unsurprisingly, he won’t let you take any blame whatsoever. 
“You got hurt cus I said to play.” 
“Nope.” 
“I wore the outfit that day.” 
“Doesn’t matter.” 
“And lost my friends at the club.” 
“No.” 
Sniffling in quick succession, you think about one other option. Some form of closure that can double as compromise. Voice soft, you suggest the last resort you have, 
“How about we share it.” 
Yoongi blinks twice before he clarifies, “You wanna share the blame?” When you nod, he huffs through the tiniest smile of confusion. “Mm. Then it’s our fault.” 
“Okay.” 
After shaking his head, he closes his eyes, molding his forehead with yours. “What are you doing to me.” 
A sniffle. “Wrecking your water bill.” 
His laughs join yours as you barely get your sentence out before giggling, and to feel him so close and present and here makes your worries slink down the drain. 
Hands trace down your arms, walking along falling rivers before creating ponds with your fingers intertwined. “Gonna clear me out someday.” 
“Duh.” 
He’s himself again. 
And after a whole night of chaos, you feel like yourself again, too. 
That’s all you both need to feel peace. 
-
-
You keep that tranquility carrying you through his room, peeking into his closet to grab the biggest shirt and sweats you can find before drying your head. 
But no matter how much water you can dry, your body will keep being washed in relief. And it’s the calmest feeling, watching as Yoongi does the simplest things near his bed. 
Your lips curve when he pulls up his pants; your heart beats when he grabs a tee. It’s in this moment that you admit that these outfits of his are your favorites, and you gravitate to him as he slips cotton over his damp head. 
“Come on,” you softly offer as you turn. “I’ll make food and get you some ice.”
Again, Yoongi just stares with a faint smile. But his eyes are alive again, so you’re more than fine if he just follows your lead without a word.
In the kitchen, you pause amongst the appliances, the cabinets watching as you utilize your phone to find a good recipe. “What shall we eat… Stew? Or, wait—” 
Looking up, you eye him in thought before choosing to focus on something else. “Actually, let’s figure you out first.” 
Opening yet another tab to add to your hundreds, you type away before selecting a good starting point. “Okay, let’s see. You’re breathing fine, so no bruised ribs. Umm…” 
Scroll, scroll. 
“It looks really bad there, though. You sure you can move right?” 
Despite asking, you go right back to your phone before Yoongi can even respond. Scrolling and clicking and reading again. 
Scroll, scroll. 
“Okay, so no bruised ribs, and according to this you don’t have any broken bones. And nothing fractured, either, thank god—”
“I love you.” 
Time bursts.
Your chest glows. 
Everything starts to beat, beat, beat in slow motion. 
And you don’t even feel like you’re in the room anymore. “…What?” 
You need to hear it again. You need to need to need to, because if you heard him wrong, you will check yourself and bolt right out the door. 
His eyes. 
Despite the battlefield on his skin, they are dripping, and sparkling, and full. The whole world suspends as he stares right into your soul, caressing it with his wounded hands and cradling it in his bruised arms. 
No matter how hard the moon will try—for years, and years, and years more—it will never outshine this single, shaken, solidified admittance. 
“I love you, doll.”
You don’t know what to do. You don’t know what to fucking do. 
Why is Yoongi saying this now? Why is he choosing now of all times to make you the happiest person in the universe? 
No. 
Happiness isn’t even close to what you feel and you’re pretty sure you’re crying but nothing makes sense and your vision plunges under sunlit waters. 
“And you don’t have to say anything. I know I don’t deserve to.” 
What?
“I can’t be everything you want. Or need. Or whatever the fuck I’m trying to say. But I just needed you to know because I can’t fucking fight this shit anymore—” 
You lunge forward before he offers his last syllable, careful to avoid his wounds and not mush his face because he would do the same for you. 
And it’s all too much tonight. The lingering fear, the dying anger, the floods of relief, the joy. You can’t stop your sobs from coming out in bursts, your whole body wracking with overwhelming emotion as he grits into your skin,
“Goddamn it, I—”
“Yoongi—”
“—so fucking much.”
Yoongi loves you. He’s here. He loves you, loves you, loves you and the beats of your heart pulse orange and blue, blue, blue. 
Nothing will ever compare to this moment. Nothing. You will bottle this one up in a jar to place next to all the others you have stored, and when you are lonely, or hurt, or even when you’re doing just fine, you will uncork it to surround yourself with this memory and know that everything will be okay. 
He loves you. 
Fuck, he loves you? 
You choke out his name with a sob, and he squeezes you even harder. When you can’t reply with anything else, he buries his face in the crook of your shoulder, his tears taking root and blossoming into beautiful vibrant fruit all along your rib cage.
He loves you.
Why can’t you seem to say it back? What the fuck is wrong with your tongue?
Maybe it’s because saying it doesn’t feel like enough. Like it’s laughable that there are words for this feeling because they don’t nearly represent what you harbor in your very being for this man. 
There’s no way any words are enough. Not for him. Nor for you. Because right now, Yoongi needs something more. And you’re going to give him more than everything. 
“Yoongi, I—”
He captures your lips in his, and you let him push you against his counter and consume you everywhere he wants to. Between his claims, your sobs have room to breathe. Which makes for a horrible showing of your attempting to say what you want to. “I… I can’t… Yoongi—”
Fingers press into the back of your head, a forehead smushing into yours and shutting you up completely. “I’m sorry,” he says, words rolling down the tracks your tears have walked. “I won’t ever be able to say that enough.” 
“Baby,” you hiccup, resting a hand over one of his. “It’s okay.” 
“It’s not.”
“It is.” You squeeze his hand, feeling the lovely digs of his knuckles in your palm. His scent wafts around you like an embrace, and you know there’s nothing quite like it. At all. “You’re okay, so I’m okay.” 
After he plants a warm kiss on your temple, you feel his hands ball into fists at your ears. “I just—fuck.” 
There’s no telling what he’s thinking about in that brain of his. But you need him to know that there’s nothing more for him to be sorry for. All you care about is that he’s present, responding, and himself. 
“Babe,” you whisper, still not believing those three words coming out of his mouth. “I’m here.” 
“I know.” He sighs, smushing into your lips and holding you so tenderly, yet so tight. As he laps at your tongue, you’re more than sure he can taste your rainfall. 
None of this is real. Because you can’t believe it at all. Even as Yoongi continues his journey across your neck, your shoulders, your jaw, your face, you still can’t piece together that this is truly happening.
When you feel him hard on your pelvis, you remember that he didn’t get the same release you got earlier. But you’re not gonna be the one to suggest going again, all of this will be what he decides. 
And what Yoongi decides is to pull you closer, breathing you in while you do the same. His kisses are never ending, and your hands roam languidly along his shoulders, his hair, stretching across the expanse of his back. One that has held the weight of the world and then some.
His name leaves your mouth in a sigh, your back arching as softly as the kisses being planted along your breasts. 
“If you only knew,” he whispers, laughing to himself as he wraps an arm around your side.
“Knew what?”
“Nothing, babe.” You gasp into his next rough press to your lips. “You’re so—fuck.”
You said you’d let him lead. But as Yoongi starts to walk you into his bedroom again, you think about his injuries and feel more concerned after knowing they’re there. So you quietly stop him as you reach his bed, “Are you sure?” 
“I’ll be alright, doll,” he whispers, lowering you down and smiling so tranquilly your heart lurches. “As much as I think you enjoyed the first time, this time will be better.” 
Giggling, you fight the heat from searing your cheeks as you smile. “You enjoyed it more than I did, I think.” 
“I don’t think so.” Yoongi smirks, getting up. “Lemme get a cond—” 
“It’s okay,” you halt him with a hand, and he freezes. 
Full stop. No movement. Not even a breath. “...What?” 
“We don’t…” You swallow, stomach fluttering at his expression. “We don’t have to this time.” 
Because Yoongi’s eyes have not left your face. “You sure?” 
Then something causes you to smile. Knowing that if there’s anyone you want to do this with, it’s this man right here and now. There’s genuinely no one else in the world with whom you would wanna share this experience, and the fact that he’s still asking makes you emotional.
Cradling his face with the most tender touch you can imagine, you confirm, “Just for a little bit.” And you add something you think he needs to keep hearing. “I trust you.” 
Gulping down any extra emotions spilling from your heart’s chalice, your words come out a little wobbled. “And I want to, if you want it, too.” 
“I want what you want, doll.” 
“Then it’s okay.”  
Clothes on or off, you still feel so shy underneath him. 
But this time, you vow to shove those feelings of unworthiness to the side. Because you are fully invested in this moment above all others. And Yoongi deserves more than you can give. 
When he slowly tugs his sweats from your legs, you’re already choking back tears. As he climbs on top, you await the connection you never in your dreams would’ve imagined. 
And when Yoongi stares at you one more time, you know exactly what he’s asking. 
“Yes, my love,” you wisp into his skin, craning up to kiss him and swallowing his last slice of doubt. Knowing you’ll say it again and again and again. 
His brows pinch as he kisses you—slow, purposeful, understanding. Then he positions himself, and you can physically feel his hand brush your cunt as he does so. If he ever asks if you felt him shake, you will deny it. But only for a year or two. 
As soon as you feel him—only him, solely him—you swell with a current of emotion. And it pulls you all the way under when he’s fully sheathed inside. 
“Holy fucking shit.” 
“Yoongi—” 
“Fuck.” 
Simply having him inside, with no barriers or obstacles in between? You’re already close. There’s no early explanation, but you already feel overwhelmed enough to come. 
No no no. You want this to last forever, so you wait for Yoongi to gather himself because he appears to be fighting, too. 
Chuckling, you ask, “You good, baby?” 
And your lover snaps his gaze to your face, bangs sweeping across your cheeks and eyes unblinking. “Yeah, just...” He stares at your inquisitive expression before whooshing out a harsh breath. “Just this is about to make me bust.” 
You burst into laughter before admitting you were just thinking the same thing, and his slow grin makes you want to cry. “We’re not good at this.” 
“No. You’re too good at this. I can’t even move.” 
“Yes, you can,” you whine. “You wreck my shit all the time.” 
Feeling a twitch more prominent than ever, you giggle as Yoongi puffs out pained amusement. “Doll, if you keep talking like that, I’m pulling out.” 
“Okay, okay,” you surrender, loving how out of sorts he seems. He’s fighting for his life and you’re enjoying the hell out of it. 
“You’re a little too perfect right now.”
Maybe one day you will agree with him. But that day is far from reach, your head shaking in quiet disagreement.
“You are.”
“Nowhere close,” you whisper.
His nose brushes against yours. “Say that again and see what happens.”
“Is that what you tell all the others fuck!”
His shove up your cunt makes you see stars. “What did I fuckin’ say?” 
“What—”
Another launch has you careening through space, lip bitten and suppressing a hearty whine. “You think there’s someone else?” Again. “Hmm?” 
Again. 
You’re so dazed and mind-fucked to pieces that your speech is barely audible. But your chin is grabbed as you’re snapped straight, and your eyes try their hardest to focus on slitted ones above. “You’re gonna regret saying that.” 
You just laugh, whine pinging sharp into the ceiling as he shoves forward so hard your whole body shifts upward. “Oh, yeah?” 
Yoongi doesn’t respond with words, thrusting up again and sending you twisting and winding towards the edge unbelievably fast. “Uh huh.” 
“Make me then,” you gasp out. “Make me really sorry.” 
The sound Yoongi makes comes from deep within his stomach, the rumbling hum shooting right into your veins like liquid fire. 
And the full-on attack he bursts into renders you completely speechless. Everything Yoongi does pulls you deliciously in all directions—his thrusts, his chain hitting his chest, his grip on your wrists, the way he snags your chin. Everything. 
“Taking me so well like this.” 
“I—”
“So fucking tight.”
Fuck fuck fuck it’s habitual for you at this point, and you unhinge your jaw a split second before he smacks the side of your face. Desire lowers your lids halfway as you feel empowered, and you don’t even recognize your voice as you order him on the spot. “Do it again.” 
Yoongi doesn’t stop his pace as he keeps his eyes on you. 
“Do it again,” you growl, fully limp and a groaning mess when he does exactly what you want. 
Fuck, the pain feels good. So good that you reach up and choke him out. But the back of your head is grabbed before you feel hungry lips smash into yours. You feel your wrists pinned again by one large palm, air chilling for a moment before a hot mouth captures one of your nipples. “Oh, fuck, Yoongi!” 
“Uh uh.” 
“Please—please—” 
You’re still tensing as he devours your chest below his shirt, strokes now slower but just as powerful. 
Your arms still haven’t been freed, but there’s something about being under his control that has you loving this position. Without question. Maybe it’s the fact that you can see him now, losing himself just as he saw you washes in the throes of passion. 
And he licks, sucks, lolls his tongue all over your tits, whispered praises sinking through your bosom as he keeps a grip on your wrists. 
“Baby,” you gasp. “I’m close, I’m—” 
“Shit.” Air whooshes over you before you feel your arms freed and him yank himself out, and you freeze as he unloads right on your stomach, a sharp cocktail of pride and shock in your gut. 
Holy fuck, Yoongi was that close? Did he hold out as long as he could? Shit, he’s breathing so hard his jewelry shakes as it dangles. 
You’re still so surprised that your arms are still locked into bends, and he glances up at you from his kneeled state. “Fuck,” he laughs, and is that… Is Yoongi shy? “Thought I could hold out.” 
“No, no, it’s fine,” you assure through your own tiny chuckle. “Oh my god, I promise.” 
He leans down to plant a heart fluttering kiss on your lips, but you hate how he looks pained on the way down. 
Those hits he took… Now you kinda understand his perspective. Because now you want to avenge him in five hundred thousand ways—almost half as many ways as you want to show him how you feel. 
“Stay there, beautiful,” Yoongi orders as he moves to get off the bed, wincing in passes. “I’m not done with you.” 
Damn. He looks even more exhausted than before. “Baby, are you sure?” 
But Yoongi walks right to his bathroom to retrieve a towel, and your eyes may as well transform into hearts when you watch him come back to you. So handsome, even now. Even when he’s simply holding a washcloth, hair completely mussed, soul sparkling and face bruised. 
As he sits to clean your face before moving to your stomach, you can only observe his eyes. So experienced. Calm. At peace. When they drift to yours, it’s instinct that has you shying away. “What, love.” 
Another reason to crumble inside. “I just… nothing,” you whisper. 
And Yoongi finishes with the cloth before tossing it somewhere. “Tell me,” he says, lying down on the ribs with more damage. “I wanna know.” 
“Come on this side,” you tell him, and he obliges without a word. “It’s a secret.” 
“A secret?” 
“Mmhmm.” 
Yoongi settles before lifting your chin, rubbing an affectionate thumb over any tears still persevering on your cheeks. “I can keep those, you know.” 
Smiling, you fold way too easily. “Okay, I’ll tell.” 
When he leans in, your nervousness and excitement to tell him almost spoils your ability to do so. Like someone gifting a present while wanting to say what it is before it’s even opened. 
“I love you, too,” you whisper, tears sprinting to your ducts as Yoongi freezes. When he looks at you, you can’t help but choke on a sob seeing his eyes get as red as the marks on his cheek. “And you deserve more than I could ever give.” 
His eyes hold the heavens and the seas. 
You’re right. Just saying it isn’t fucking enough.
You’re already liplocked again before you can think, saltwater on your face and you don’t even know whose eyes it came from.
Determined, Yoongi starts kissing a trail from your lips to your jaw, and you start to cry as he makes his own journey down the expanse of you. 
All of you.
Is this what it feels like? Is all of this actually, genuinely real?
You hope so, because you feel devotion in each press of his lips, and every touch will be remembered in its own right. Its own pocket of time.
Every single stop.
It almost feels divine when his mouth reaches your folds, lapping at your essence and swirling around your clit. When you say his name, Yoongi says nothing, instead palming your thighs and eating you out like he has all the time in the world. 
Swelling, you already feel close. 
But the way he gets you to fantasia is so natural that you slide into your quivers seemlessly. The transition into your heaven flows like a stream, and your waves engulf his tongue and coat his mouth without trouble. 
This is what it feels like. What it feels like with Yoongi. 
And you wanna keep making love until only sleep can take you from him.
Your hands jut into his hair, gasping as he keeps his pace, and no matter how you squirm he is dead set on holding you down until holy fuck you’re coming again. 
How? What’s happening to you? This constant stream of release is shocking you to the point of crying out, and Yoongi groans into your orgasm and prolongs it with the whole press of his tongue.
“Holy fuck, baby—!” Another wave overcomes the next, and you outright quake in his hands, eyes rolling and vision blinking white. Muscles lock as you can’t keep up with the pleasure, and you’re mercilessly let go only for lips to descend on yours.
Your tears spill into your ears as you kiss him back, wrapping tired arms over his shoulders and raking in deep. 
“Fuck.” And you feel his cock lodge against your entrance, and you’re amazed how hard he is again. 
Does he want what you want? Is he ready again? 
As Yoongi quietly gets up to get a condom, you’re amazed that he wants to keep going after everything that’s transpired. But, if he feels like you do, he’s ready to keep going until the sun comes up three whole times. 
When he sits next to you, your better half appears shy as he bites the wrapper. “Don’t take this the wrong way.”
“Oh, I already know.”
“K. But god, I fuckin’ want to.”
You bite your lip to hold back your smile, remembering what he said a long time ago and bringing it back full circle for the next thing you both wanna try. “One day.”
Yoongi only grins. 
And for the next hour, your lover, your secret, your home gives you everything he has, and you come for him more times than you ever have in your life.
Every time, he drags your pleasure out, expertly tearing you down with his movements and building your confidence up with his words. He tells you you’re perfect, and he disagrees when you disagree. When you find tears on your face, he kisses those away, too. When you feel along his silver, he simply watches you in silence. 
No sadness, doubt, nor anger to be found. 
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After you physically can’t do any more, Yoongi lies at your side, silent as you play with his hair. You do your best to stay still, not wanting to accidentally push into any of his injuries that you’re gonna beg him to get checked in the morning. 
Once he’s healed? That’s when you’ll never let go. Because you want to crush him into you completely. Mold into him, just so he can feel the brevity of your highest affection. 
“I’m sorry for yelling,” you finally whisper. “But I really was so mad at you. All of you.” 
“I know.” 
“I don’t wanna lose you.”
“It won’t happen again.” 
“That’s what you said last time.” 
Yoongi stares, seeming to withhold something from you before he palms your cheek. “They were gonna follow us home if we didn’t, babe,” he reveals, snapping your heart back in two. “We all knew that.” 
“Oh, fuck.” Everything hits you at once: why they stayed, why you and Taehyung had to leave. Why Tae didn’t bring you straight back to the house. And the burns at your eyes match the searing in your gut. “I didn’t… I didn’t think about that.” 
When you start to cry, Yoongi sits up and hangs his head between his sweats. “You don’t need to think about shit like that,” he murmurs, sounding defeated as ever. “But we talked after you told us off. We won’t hide that from you anymore.” 
Sniffling, you whisper out a thank you. But you don’t want Yoongi to feel like he has to distance himself, so you untangle him—slowly, gently–-before bringing him into your chest. 
After dealing with all that and the tempest in his living room, this man still let you in. From the looks of things, there’s a lot that he had been fighting, and you’re more than appreciative that he opened his door. Not knowing how to put these feelings into words, you say the first things that come to mind. And for some reason, they feel heavier on the way out, 
“Thank you for letting me in. It was raining really hard.” 
Yoongi stiffens hard before holding you closer. 
“Babe?”
No response. Just another batch of weighted quiet. 
Worried, you tilt your head. “Hey. Look at me.”
If he stays right where he is, you’ll have to respect that decision. But he ends up pushing himself up, and as soon as you see moonlight catch on a falling tear, all your instincts reach for him, “Oh, fuck, come here.”
You surround him with everything you have, wanting every single bit of warmth birthed from his love to fill his space instead of yours. Whatever he needs, you will give. “It’s okay, baby,” you whisper, holding him so close but not nearly close enough. 
Never close enough.
His face is buried in the crook of your neck, and you will let him live there whenever he needs to. “I’m not mad anymore, okay?” God, you hate how he’s still so silent. You get it, but you hate whatever made him default to this state. “I’m just glad you’re alright.”
After light rain fills the room, your soul breaks at a sniffle, and you crush your love even tighter.
“This isn’t about that, doll,” Yoongi finally whispers, burying wet eyes further into your shoulder. “It’s just…”
It’s what? What’s he thinking about? Hopefully it’s not anything—
“It’s so fucking better when you’re here.” 
When you choke out a sob, his body locks, words pouring from nowhere and everywhere. “I sleep better. Eat better. Fuck, I even feel better even if nothing else changes.”
“Yoongi…”
“It’s true.” Sighing, he sniffles again before letting his weight drop onto you in resignation. Or relief. “I mean that.”
“Then… Those three months…”
“One day, I’ll tell you everything,” he offers, making you wonder what the hell he’s been through in the past. And if it has something to do with that guitar he smashed to pieces. “But from now on, you can be here whatever you want.” 
Many things have shifted tonight. As if an earthquake had upturned everything between the both of you, only peace has settled in its wake. A peace you had never felt before. As you brush fingers through his hair, you joke, “So I can come to those parties you host, too?” 
“Those weren’t my idea, by the way. Jimin made me.” Kissing your shoulder, Yoongi continues to admit, “He was worried. And hoping you would show.”
Oh. That’s news to you. 
“I knew you wouldn’t. But.” He exhales before nestling in further. “I did hope to see you, too.” 
“It’s okay.” You rub the back of his neck, your fingers feeling nothing but warmth and the softness of his clothes. “It would’ve been too obvious.”
“What would’ve.”
“That I wanted you all to myself.”
“You already have that.”
When you stiffen, your words are tiny. “You know what I mean.”
Yoongi laughs soft, taking one of your hands in his and bringing it up for a kiss as you blurt, “My brother was the one that invited me. To come to those, I mean.”
The way he blinks is comical. “Huh.”
“I know.” It’s your turn to bring his hand close, kissing along his knuckles before you stare out the window behind him. “It makes me wonder if he knows.”
“What if he does?”
You snap your eyes right to his. “Does he?”
Yoongi watches your lips linger on his fingers before he tells the truth, “No.”
“Okay. But you’re sure I can stay?” 
“Who do you think you bought those groceries for?” 
Oh. Wait. “What?” 
Grinning so sly, Yoongi reveals the plan he had all along, “I get you for a week, right?”
Oh. Holy shit. You cannot quite possibly deal with what this man is saying. That whole time you were shopping for his list… No wonder he was already done with dinner when you got there oh you’re gonna get him back for that. 
Light bursts from your center as you grit out through a grin, “You sneaky little—” Pulling his tilted mouth in for another kiss, your heart pulses little pink stars as he leans in with a laugh, and you meet lips again and again until he slowly, reluctantly stops. 
“One day,” he murmurs out of nowhere, and you flick your eyes to his. “I’ll be better.”
Of course he will. You have no doubts. But, just like he always does for you, you’re gonna start offering the same reassurance out loud, even if he knows it’s there. 
And you can’t contain your little laughs at your own joke, despite him just staring into your face right after you crack it, “Don’t make it just one day, silly.” 
Even if you’re very serious, it’s in your nature to lighten things up. Especially after hearing such wonderful news for what’s coming. Clutching a little bit of his shirt, you whisper with complete devotion, 
“We’ll make it as many as we can.”
You hate how you feel him freeze, knowing what that means, what plaguing little thoughts are embedded in that tiny shift. 
Yoongi’s still hesitant to accept.
Because you are, too. In many ways. But this man has been picking you up and making you stronger day after day—in both his presence and absence—that you can’t help but fight to do the same. 
Does he ever think about you? Does he know that you’ll always be with him? No matter how close or far apart you are? You hope so. Because it’s so true that your heart is searing that promise into your soul, branding it as a reminder to reciprocate all this genuine love you’ve never been given before.
He loves you?
You still can’t accept that as fact.
…Maybe one day.
You chuckle to yourself, deciding to keep talking because Yoongi is still so very quiet. “At least. Until the day I get to meet my cat,” you huff in triumph. “Then I’m running away with her.”
It’s a perfect strike of a match. “Oh, yeah?”
“Yeah.” You pretend to pout. “But I’m starting to think she ran away already and you won’t fess up.”
Yoongi laughs so suddenly you flinch. After a playful scoff, he tries to make you feel better, “She’s still here!”
“Lies.”
“How much are you betting, doll.”
“How much are you willing to lose, babe.”
“This much,” he finally says, pinching your sides and hissing laughter when you scream. “Maybe I’ll make you leave after all if you’re gonna be a problem.” 
“You did threaten to kick me out before.” 
“Huh? When?”
“That day I showed up,” you remind him through a chuckle. Thrown back to that first night, you start to see all the parallels between then and now. And how vastly different things have become. “Said you were gonna kick me out for hustling you.” 
The glorious laughter from the depths of his belly makes you grin, and you cringe when his brows pinch in both laughter and pain. “I should’ve!” 
He needs to get those hits healed. “You really should’ve.” 
“Played me from the very start. You happy with yourself?” When you nod, Yoongi shakes his head. “Course you are.” 
“You love it.” 
“I do.” Your eyes meet, which proves dangerous for you because he bites his smirk before pulling you in for a kiss. “Thought I was gonna say it, huh.” 
“No!” You lie. Because no, you certainly were not! “…Maybe.” 
“Guess what.” 
Suddenly paranoid, you give him a look, already expecting to be tricked again. 
But Yoongi captures your lips without warning, curling your toes into sheets you’re now achingly familiar with. After a few passes, he shifts above, planting a hand at your side and letting his chain slide against your chest as he slots a leg in between yours. 
Yet again, you think about that first night, that first time. The first of apparently, surprisingly, wonderfully unexpectedly many. 
Who would’ve thought rain and a broken ego would bloom into something good? Who would’ve believed a person so close to your roots would be your home? 
As he lets up with one last slow stroke of his tongue, you whisper, “What were you gonna say?” 
At this, Yoongi spreads closed lips, taking his time planting a peck on your nose. “I just fucking love you, doll.” 
Oh. He’s a menace and the most annoying tease on the planet. 
When you can’t do anything but flee into his chest, Yoongi immediately laughs, forcing you back out of your little shell. “You can’t hide now, babe.” 
“I can!” 
Leaned forward in your struggle, you give him no choice but to swoop his head into your neck. Which backfires on you immensely because he decides it’s the perfect time to rasp deep against your ear, “I love fucking you, too.” 
His name flies out of your mouth in disbelief and embarrassment, and his heightened amusement puffs into the burning column below your chin. 
This is the moment something comes over you. Slams into you. Washes you in present nostalgia like lingering footsteps on a balcony. 
And it hurts. It really, really hurts. 
Instead of laughing along, you come down from your high, squeezing him like the pillow that couldn’t replicate his warmth for months. “I miss you.”
After a second, Yoongi questions, “How? I’m right here.”
You know that. You do. But with every hello there’s a goodbye, and you don’t want that this time. Especially now that your heart knows that his beats the same. 
Breathy and shaken, you rest your head in his chest, hoping he doesn’t hear but does at the same time, “I still miss you.”
Strong fingers weakly press into your sides, and while you can’t see him, you know for a fact that his smile is gone. Because he also knows goodbye is coming again, and you can’t stay here forever as long as this is all a secret. 
You feel a sigh wisp over your head before words that make no fucking sense follow it out, “I can’t do shit like this anymore.” 
…What?
No. No no no he can’t be done just like that you both just confessed everything you need to fight say something anything anything—
“I wanna do this the right way.” 
Oh. 
Yoongi’s chest… It’s shaking. 
Pushing yourself up, you search his eyes for answers. “What are you saying?” 
When he looks at you, there’s a fire in his eyes that wasn’t there before. Or maybe it has been there all along, and he only needed a spark to set it ablaze. “I’m saying I’ll tell him, doll. Just me.” 
Oh. Oh, shit. Didn’t he say not yet? Didn’t he say he needs more time? He said he’d figure it out what is with the sudden…
Your tears are automatic as Yoongi roams his gaze from one eye to the other, and he’s swallowing before taking a step. A step you didn’t think he’d make. One you didn’t have the courage to take yourself. 
When he utters the words, your soul lets rain fall just as the storm resides.
And right as moonlight shines through his blinds.
“I’ll tell him everything.” 
-
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tbc. :)
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so... how did it go! | join the server!
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a/n: so. here we are, over two years and 250k+ words later. thank you for sticking with me if you're still here, and thank you for being the most amazing readers a writer could ever, ever ask for. if you can interact or let me know what you enjoyed/like, i would be eternally grateful. these two parts took all of me, and i'm gonna take a break for a little bit before starting on the next part. a/n 2: thank you for also being here despite the highs and lows! things have really weighed on me for awhile, which prevented me from working on this part forreal. but my mental feels a lot lighter now, and i am ready to keep running with y'all. so thank you for your support and encouragement, no matter how you show it! ++ feedback box: ⇥ of course, any reblogs/comments/messages are appreciated! ⇥ for the ones that are too shy to reblog with a review, comment on this, or send a message, i went ahead and made another anonymous form where you can send in what you think! ⇥ no emails collected, no need to put in a username. it’s literally just a comment dropbox :D feedback can be as short/sweet or as long as you’d like! ⇥ here! ++ more links: ⇥ masterlist  ⇥ three tangerines masterlist
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yoonlattesworld · 10 months
Text
The dealer : MYG
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Synposis : you've heard about every nasty rumor surrounding him. It's like they follow him every where he goes. But something in your heart told you that after all, rumors were just rumors. You knew you were playing with fire. You knew that you shouldn't be anywhere near him. But after an incident involving your best friend happened, you found yourself getting closer to him. You tried to stop the flutter in your heart which increased every time he looked at you, every time he touched you. But of course the heart never listens to the brain. After all logic is irrelevant to feelings.
The only question is whether you'll end up with a broken heart, or with a love which will make you feel alive again.
Genre/warnings: drug dealer yoongi, grumpy x sunshine, tsundere yoongi, romance, fluff, smut, angst, usage of drugs, blood, fights, gun, mentions of depression, drug overdose, child abuse, one pov switch ,fingering, love making,almost getting harassed , lose of virginity , oral (f receiving)
Pairing : drug dealer yoongi x good girl reader
Main master list
Yoongi master list
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Author's pov
"did you hear?" you looked up from your laptop to see your best friend leena looking at you with wide eyes which told you she has heard a new gossip.
Smiling slightly you closed the laptop before folding your arms and looked at her "hear what?" "about him!" she exclaimed as if she expected you to know who that 'him' is. Your eyebrows furrowed as you tried to remember if she was seeing anyone new "him who-" oh.
Her smile told you she knew exactly what you were thinking about as you avoided her eyes and opened your laptop again "what about him?" you tried to hide the interest in your voice as you waited for her answer patiently.
Of course you know who he is. Not personally but you've heard enough to know what kind of person he is. One didn't need to know someone personally when there were countless rumors surrounding that person. Specially when there more bad than good.
You've only seen him once or twice by the back gate of your university where people buy drugs and god knows what from him. He didn't look innocent either but you've always told yourself not to judge someone by their appearance. Still, him with his black leather jacket and black jeans and boots with multiple tattoos and piercings, he looked very intimidating. Enough for a sane person to walk away the moment they make eye contact with him.
According to some people half of those rumors were a lie. But he never made a move to improve his reputation. Leena had once told you that he was seen carrying a gun around. And that was enough to increase that chilling fear inside you when you once accidentally made eye contact with him.
"y/n?" "earth to y/n?" you blinked twice as leena snapped her fingers in front of your face and shook your head as if to rid yourself of any thoughts about him. "what were you saying? " you smiled sheepishly as she raised an eyebrow "where did you get lost? Perhaps somewhere which included a certain-" "leena. Stop" she pursued her lips at your glare and raised her hands in surrender "okay okay now what were we talking about? Yes-" she clapped her hand once and the eagerness in her eyes returned.
"last week some people saw him beating a person" your eyes widened "what?" she nodded with equally wide eyes "he spent two nights in prison before his partner bailed him out" you shook your head sighing softly but your eyes narrowed soon after "his partner? How do you know the person who bailed him out was his partner? " "well" she smiled which looked suspiciously guilty "actually my brother heard about it from his friends" you looked away from her and continued typing as she sighed "babe" you ignored her as she whined "look I'm sorry babes. I know you don't like getting involved with people like him but I promise sang-u isn't the one who purchases anything from him-" you looked at her "oh my god stop looking at me like that! What I meant is that his friends buy from him but he says he just stands beside them. He has never done any drugs y/n you know he isn't like that"
You sighed nodding and she leaned forward and held your hand "are you mad? " looking at her, a soft smile broke on your face when you saw her pout and shook your head "I'm not. Just tell sang-u not to get involved with him okay? I know he's not like that but still. It doesn't hurt to be safe" she nodded and smiled back at you "of course babe. I'd already told him to stop hanging out with those kids but you know this is the first time he's had friends. Besides I've met them and they seem like a decent bunch" you nodded with a smile before silence set over and you both continued your work in silence.
Kim leena and Kim sang u are only 3 months apart. Leena was only three months old when her mom was pregnant with sang u but even with their small age difference, leena was still both a mother, and a big sister to sang u. She's always been protective of him, especially after both their parents died in a car accident. They were only 15 when they came to know that their parents are no longer in this world.
Both of them were taken in by their grandparents but leena knew that it wasn't enough. So at the age of 15 she gave up her own joy to raise her brother and make sure that he never feels unloved. Sang u didn't take their parent's death well. Nor did leena but she managed to hide it well for his sake. On the other hand he slowly started to get depressed . He stopped going out and stayed holed up in his room after coming home from school. Because of his quiet and timid nature he was bullied in high school. Something which damaged his self esteem a lot. Leena transferred both herself and her brother to a different school and that helped. Somewhat.
Since the last year sang u has gotten a lot better. He regularly attends classes and has started to catch up on his studies too. You were very glad to finally see the siblings happy. You've known them since you were 17 so you've been friends since the last 3 years. You know leena has gotten a lot gentler with sang u. She was the most happy when she found out that sang u has been making friends and is socialising properly. So although she was less than amused to see that some of his friends in the group smokes, she didn't want to be hard on him and tell him to leave the group when he had finally made friends after years.
A few days after that conversation with leena, you saw him again, for the third time. He was leaned against the wall, smoking a cigarette while looking up at the clear sky. He was wearing the same all black clothes but today without a jacket which revealed his pale, veiny arms which were filled with black ink. Something about the black ink on his pale skin looked so beautiful to you. Even at the distance you could see his muscular arms and the way his pointer finger and thumb held the cigarette. Isn't he cold?
Oh god what in the world were you doing? You looked away immediately when he looked in your direction and you assumed he felt you staring. You were going to walk away but your steps halted when you saw someone familiar. Sang u? Your lips parted and you hid behind the wall before peeking out. Sure enough it was sang u along with another guy. You hugged yourself as a chilly wind swiped around you but you stayed put to see the guy taking a packet from him. He took the small bundle of cash and said something before walking away.
On your walk home you only felt the chilly fear again as you remembered sang u taking the packet from his friend. What was in that packet? Were they drugs? Did sang U?-
No
Of course he wouldn't do anything like that. You've known him since 3 years and you know sang u is a good person. But still, as you pulled the covers over your body, you looked at leena sleeping soundly on her bed and sighed. You couldn't shake off the feeling which told you that something was wrong. Maybe you should tell her about what you saw tomorrow morning. Yes you'll do that.
Closing your eyes you buried yourself in the ocean of pillows and blankets but sleep didn't come that easily.
The next morning you woke up, the first thing you wanted to do was talk to leena but your eyebrows furrowed when instead of her curled up, you found her bed empty. Rubbing your eyes you stifled a yawn and walked out of the room expecting leena to be in the kitchen for water but yet again, your surprise only increased when you found both the living room and kitchen empty. You didn't hear the water running so she's not in the bathroom either.
"where did she go so early?" you mumbled to yourself and started making your breakfast. You figured she finally started keeping up with her new year's resolution and has decided to go for a run in early morning. While the bread was toasting you went to brush your teeth and fresh up a bit before preparing your sandwich.
But as you sat on the chair, your eyes travelled to the clock '7:59 am' you frowned sipping your coffee. It's been almost an hour since you woke up and she's still not home. Even if she did went for a run, she should have been back by now. A small fickle of worry started growing inside you as you picked up your phone and dailed her number.
"the number you have called is currently switched off-"
Sighing you cut the call and took a bite of the sandwich. She never switches her phone off unless she's in a class and you know she doesn't have any class today. So why is it off right now? Did something happen?
Standing up you called her again, only to hear the same voice. You spent the next 20 minutes tidying up the house and calling her but your concern only increased when she didn't pick up.
As you were about to clean the windows, your movements halted when you heard the door opening. "is she back? " you mumbled rushing towards the living room and your eyes widened when you found her sitting on the floor, leaned against the front door with tears streaming down her face. "leena? " you gasped rushing towards her and kneeled in front of her "what happened? " you frowned cupping her face to make her look at you and once she did, your heart broke.
"y-y/n" she sobbed hugging you tightly. The last time you saw her cry like this, was at her parent's death anniversary and it broke your heart to see the usually chirpy girl breaking down like this "what's wrong?" you whispered rubbing her back, your arms around her tightening when she buried her face in your shoulder, her sobs getting louder "leena calm down, honey and tell me what happened " you pulled back slightly and wiped her tears "what happened? Where did you go so early? " you asked gently, trying to stay as calm as possible even though your heart was ready to rip out of your chest "s-sang u" she choked up and your eyes widened for a second before you helped her stand up and guided her towards the couch.
After making her drink some water, you sat besides her and asked her again. Fortunately she had calmed down enough speak properly "y-you were right" she sniffled gripping your hand tighter "I should have stopped him from hanging around with those people" your heart stuttered "what do you mean? What happened leena? " you had an idea of what might have happened but you didn't want to think about it. You assured yourself that what you were thinking wouldn't be the case.
But of course your fear came true.
"he has been doing drugs y/n" she whispered, a look of horror on her face which matched your own "a-are you sure? Surely you might have misunderstood-?" you stuttered but your heart dropped when she shook her head, another loud sob leaving her lips "b-but how? " "he has been borrowing money from his friends. But at one point they stopped lending him money because he wouldn't pay them back" she clenched her jaw and burried her face in her hands "so he started to buy drugs from a different dealer. You remember that dealer I told you about?" of course you do.
"he has been buying from him since the last two months without paying and now he's demanding the money back" she whispered the last words and looked at you with teary eyes "he owns that dealer a large sum, y/n. He called me this morning and his voice sounded so panicked so I rushed to his dorm room and he asked me to give him some money. But even I don't have that much right now" she cried quietly "oh god" you whispered hugging her tightly. "h-he threatened sang u that he'll take the money back in his way if he doesn't get it in 3 days" her voice turned more panicked as she hugged you tighter "w-we know his way y/n. What if he-" you shushed her before she completed her sentence.
You both know what she was going to say. It was just a few days ago when he went inside the bars for almost beating a person to death. And you know he's more than capable of doing that again. But your eyebrows furrowed when you remembered what you saw last evening "but leena" you pulled back and told her everything you saw the day before and she smiled bitterly "I saw him giving that dealer a bundle of cash. So why.." she squeezed your hand "that cash was also burrowed" you looked at her with surprise "he took some money from our grandparents last week. But that money was just worth of the drugs he bought yesterday. He still has to pay him back for the last two months. What do I do? " she started crying again and you sighed rubbing her back.
You wanted to curse yourself for even thinking about what you were about to say. But you didn't have any other choice. You know she wouldn't dream of taking money from her grand parents. She already thinks they have done a lot for her and her brother so the idea of borrowing money from them isn't an option.
"leena" You took a deep breath as she looked at you with tearful eyes which widened soon after when you said the next words "I'll go and talk to him" "no" she said firmly "leena-" "no y/n are you crazy? He's dangerous" she hissed "he's not scared of beating people if he doesn't get his money. He'll do anything for money. I don't want you to get hurt because of me" she whispered and you stopped her by gripping her shoulders " I know leena. Trust me, I know he's dangerous. But do we have another choice? He's clearly not scared of police and you don't want your grand parents to know do you? " she shook her head and tried to speak but you didn't let her "I'll just ask him to give us some more time, leena. Surely he can do that? " although it sounded more like a question .
"but what if-" she whimpered shaking her head as fresh tears filled her eyes "don't cry leen. Everything will be fine. I'll ask him for more time and leave" you whispered smiling and hoped that smile didn't show the nervousness you were feeling. She took a deep breath and nodded hesitantly "but I'm coming with you" "no you're not" you stated standing up and she followed soon after "you're thinking of going alone to his place? I think you're forgetting what kind of person he is" she placed her hands on her hips, a determined expression on her face, causing you to sigh "what if he goes after sang u when we're both not with him? " she fell silent "I'll go there alone and you'll stay here with sang u. We shouldn't leave him alone right now leen."
It was a silent conversation that neither of you were willing to acknowledge. What if he does something bad to himself because of fear? What if he does more drugs? These were all the possibilities that you were too scared to acknowledge and it seemed like she knew exactly what you were talking about.
Her face fell and she looked away for a moment before mumbling "I'll stay with him for a few days''you nodded placing a hand on her shoulder ''that would be the best. Don't worry leena. Everything will be fine" you whispered the last words and she nodded wiping a lone tear that managed to escape "please be careful" she whispered before walking towards her room to pack her things.
In the next hour you found yourself standing In front of his front door. You could feel your hands shaking as you forced yourself to take deep breaths. After you made sure that leena was with sang u, you asked him to text you the address and so, now you're standing in front of a small single storey house which was in a relatively bad side of the city. You almost turned back and started walking back home when you noticed a few creepy looking guys staring at you. You even felt like someone was following you but odd enough the moment you stopped in front of his house, that feeling was gone.
"please be careful Noona. Yoongi is a bad guy. He won't hesitate to do anything for his money"
Yoongi
So that's his name.
You exhaled shakily before raising your hand and knocked on the door. For a few seconds, you didn't get any response and that was enough to tempt you to turn around and run back home but of course you weren't gonna do that.
Just as you were about to knock again, you heard some shuffling and a low curse before the door opened and your breath got caught in your throat when he came in your view. Sleepy but sharp eyes, ruffled hair, messy t shirt, it looks like you woke him up. Oh god he won't kill you for waking him up right? But it's 10:30 surely he won't-
"you just gonna stand there and stare at me all day?" your eyes widened. His voice was deep like the depth of the ocean with a little raspiness in it. He raised an eyebrow and his eyes travelled from you face to downwards. "oh um-" you stuttured, your cheeks flaring red as he continued looking at you with those cold and calculating eyes for a moment before mumbling "you lost, sweetheart? " again you blamed the cold weather for the flush on your cheeks.
You weren't gonna let him know that he intimidates you. Taking a deep breath you said "what makes you think I'm lost? " "well" a cold, humorless smile tugged on his lips "it's not everyday I see a girl wearing pink fuzzy socks at my door" if your face was red before then now it feels like it's on fire. You shuffled your feet now feeling really stupid for not changing into something decent before coming here but you came here immediately after dropping leena off.
So here you were wearing a yellow oversized hoodie, pajama pants and pink fuzzy socks along with some slippers. Oh you must look so stupid.
You heard him sigh and looked up to see him already looking at you with irritated eyes "pretty sure you didn't wake me up just to stare at me" you did wake him up.
You interlocked your fingers together to stop them from shaking and said "I'm here to ask you for a favor" he looked at you amused for a moment before you saw his eyes widening for a second "you're sang u's girl aren't you? Seen you around " you're not sure why but you thought his eyes hardened when he said that, although it was gone as soon as it came.
Your eyebrows furrowed "no I'm not-" you cut yourself and sighed "look i-i know he owns you money and it's his fault but don't you think 3 days is too little time to collect that much money?" now he looked less than amused but you still forced yourself to carry on "please at least give us a week I promise we'll pay you the whole amount back" you pleaded "please, yoongi" you whispered when he didn't said anything.
Something flickered in his eyes before he sighed, looking at your form shaking from cold and mumbled "come in doll" your eyes widened but before you could say anything, he was already walking inside and left the door open for you. You very much wanted to decline but he's willing to hear you out. What if this is your last chance?
Groaning quietly you timidly opened the door fully and started walking inside. Removing your slippers you slowly walked in to see a simple but clean living room. Why did you think his house would be dirty?
Your socks claded feet walked on the cold tile as you looked around for any sign of him. You were surprised when he suddenly walked out of what you presumed to be the kitchen with two cups "sit" he mumbled walking past you and sat on the arm chair, setting the cups on the coffee table. Unsure of what to do, you timidly walked towards the couch, the blush rising back on your soft cheeks when his eyes fell on your feet and he smirked which soon hid behind the cup as he took a sip of whatever was in there.
You sat on the other end of the couch to maintain as much distance as possible and looked at anywhere but him as he looked at you over the rim of his cup. The way sang u described his reputation you half expected packets of drugs to be lying around in his house.
"hope you like coffee" you jumped when he suddenly spoke and looked at him with wide eyes before looking at the cup on the table. It's rude to deny the host but right now the host was a drug dealer so "thank you but I'm good" he nodded setting his cup down and leaned back, folding his hands. Normally you find the guys manspreading gross but you hate to admit that he looked anything but gross right now with his tank top revealing his tattooed arms and chest. "so tell me doll" he rasped, "what were you saying? " clearing your throat you looked at him with shaky yet determined eyes "please give us some time to pay you back" those cold eyes were back and looking at you like a predator would look at his prey. "why should I? " a shiver ran down you spine at the coldness in his voice and you gulped down the nerves before saying "h-he made a mistake but he'll make up for it. And he did pay you back the other day... Right?" you whispered uncertainly "i-it's not like he's refusing to pay you. Just give us more time and we'll-" "you keep saying we" you blinked as he cut you off and leaned forward "why is it your business whether he lives or dies of overdose?" you flinched at his words and looked down to blink back the tears forming in your eyes "h-he is my best friend's brother and he is a good person. He just made a mistake so-" you were cut off yet again, this time by his deep chuckle which lacked humor.
"are you pretending not to know, or do you really don't know?" your eyebrows furrowed as he smirked "what do you mean? " "you're that naive huh" he scoffed "sweetheart what he did isn't a mistake. He's been stealing drugs" your eyes widened and you felt you heart drop as he continued "he's been buying from me since 10 months. At first he paid on spot but after some time he started to borrow money to pay for his shit. And then he stopped paying altogether. he's been making empty promises since the last 6 months that he'll pay back everything but then he stopped taking my calls. I stopped selling to him unless he paid back everything he owned me but guess what" he took out a box of cigarettes and a lighter "he's become a fucking addict and started stealing my fucking drugs to get shit faced" he lighted a cigarette and took a long smoke all the while you kept staring at your hands with lips parted and eyes wide "it's not just a mistake any more when he started fucking with my money and my drugs. I do fair business, doll. I don't go around killing people without any reason. He deserved a threat and he got on. And if he doesn't pay me, the next time won't just be a threat"
You didn't noticed when you started breathing heavily. All you knew was that suddenly you were suffocating. There wasn't enough air. Your nails were digging in your palms as you tried to take deep breaths but bitter memories were starting to fill in.
"it was an overdose " the doctor and a police officer looked at you with pitiful eyes " they were abusing their own daughter after getting high" "poor girl.. She's just 7" a nurse whispered and started walking towards you "w-where is mama? " you asked as the nurse crouched in front of you and held your hands gingerly "first let's treat these wounds okay? " she rubbed your cheek and you nodded holding the nurse's hand "some people don't deserve to be parents" "it's an old case. They were bought in many times before. Didn't saw them for a while so I thought they've gotten better-" their voices blocked as the nurse took you to another room. Small cries filled the room as she treated the multiple cigeratte burns on your arms-
"doll?" you were snapped out of your daze when he called you loudly and looked at him with wide, teary eyes. His eyes sharpened when he saw the shine in your eyes and they narrowed soon after when he noticed you tugging the sleeves of your hoodie down again and again.
Clenching his jaw he looked away and mumbled "are you done? Now Get out and tell him that hiding won't do him any good" he stood up and you gasped, leaning forward and gripping his hand "please" you begged "i-I'll do anything you want just give him more time" he sighed and yanked his hand away before looking at you with irritated eyes. You saw his face going blank as he stared at you. But soon you realised that he wasn't staring at your face, but your neck.
Your eyes widened and you pulled the collar of the hoodie properly over your neck to hide the burn marks but it was too late because he already saw them.
His hand clenched and unclenched before he tugged the collar of his t shirt. Suddenly feeling like he was suffocating. "get out" he gritted and you stood up, looking at him with pleading eyes "please-" "you can't do anything for that shit head" he breathed harshly "it's not your business" "it is because it involves my friend" he fell silent, the anger in his eyes growing as you stood there, looking at him with big, fearful eyes "so you're willing to get yourself killed for that friend? " he mocked walking towards you slowly, causing you to take a step back "did you forgot where you're standing?" another step "you marched in all alone in place you could possibly die for the friend who's so fucking coward that he couldn't even come with you? " he snarled and you gasped as your back hit the wall , with his arms caging you against it.
You looked down but he grabbed your chin and made you look at him. A whimper leaving your lips when you saw the fury in his eyes "do you realise what area you're in, all alone at that? " his voice lowered "those shitty people down there are capable of doing things that your pretty little head can't even imagine" he growled lowly. You knew that he's right. You saw them and the look in their eyes as you were walking towards his place. And you knew what they were capable of. "i-I'm sorry" you whispered looking down but you didn't know why you were apologizing in the first place as he breathed angrily "go home. And don't come back" all his warmth left you when he stepped back and only then did you look up to see him walking away.
It took you a second to gather your self but once you did, you all but fleed out of the door. On the way back home, oddly none of the people on the streets were looking at you. It was almost as if they looked scared. You wondered why.
But as you entered your building, you knew why. You saw a glimpse of black hair and sharp eyes as you walked in the elevator. And the pounding of your heart had nothing to do with the nerves.
The three days were up. But as you called leena with a pounding heart, wanting to know if she and sang u were okay, if he paid them a visit, you were very surprised to find out that he in fact didn't. Rather, sang u got a message that said he had 4 days to pay him back.
Sang u was more surprised than relieved. He told leena that in yoongi's world, there was always only one warning. And then the second time were the consequences of not listening to their warning. Leena wasn't talking to sang u. He had not only lied but also stole from people and you hadn't talked to him either. Leena was very thankful to you but she refused to talk to him no matter how much he pleaded. You didn't blame her. He didn't seem like the sang u you had always known.
You dreamt of those cold eyes piercing in yours. And those large, rough hands on your body. It was ridiculous to have that kind of dream of a person who was threatening your friend's life but as you woke up, you felt a small flicker of disappointment after realising that the warmth of the body against yours was nothing but a vivid dream. A dream which didn't leave your mind for the rest of the days but only awakened a strange warmth in the pit of your stomach and wetness In between your thighs.
Leena was visiting her grand parents along with sang u. She still wasn't talking to him but she decided to stay with them for a few days and then come back. She will leave sang u with them because she didn't trusted him to be left alone. So sang u was left juggling between different jobs in busan to collect money.
In a particularly cold night, you were walking home alone after a long day. It was weekend so the streets were busy with people laughing and talking. But even in between the busy streets, you heard that raspy chuckle. It was like it was imprinted in your mind after your conversation two days ago. Despite your mind telling you not to, you followed the sound and it led you to a dark alley. You assured yourself that you'd be fine. There were many people just around the corner. So you decided to peek from behind the wall. And the sight in front of you made you regret the decision immediately.
"oh my god" you gasped clenching your mouth shut with you hands. In front of you was yoongi leaned against the wall with multiple wounds on his face. His hand was pressed against his abdomen tightly and you could see blood seeping from his hand. In front of him were two men standing with wicked smiles. One was holding a bloody knife. Your eyes widened when the they noticed you standing there and you heard yoongi curse loudly when one of them started walking towards you.
Your brain was telling you to run but your legs were frozen and the man was getting closer "leave her out of this!" yoongi growled and you whimpered in pain when the man gripped your hair tightly and dragged you in the dirty alley. You gasped when he pushed you hard, causing you to stumble against the wall but instead of the hard impact, you felt a strong arm wrapping around you before you were pulled in a warm and firm chest.
Gasping softly you looked up to see yoongi glaring at the men with his jaw tight "y-yoongi" he didn't look at you but his hold around you tightened "let her go. You wanted me and you have me. You don't need her here" he gritted and you felt a sick feeling inside you when the men laughed "looks like min finally got a girl" one of them said and you dared to look at him but yoongi placed his hand on the back of your head and pulled you to his chest, as if to hide you from their eyes "she's a fine little thing isn't she? Care to share, yoongi?" you could hear his pounding heart and his chest heaved as his breathed heavily.
You gripped his jacket as he pushed you behind him, a whimper leaving your lips when your eyes caught a glimpse of the wound on his abdomen "you had your fun didn't you? Now unless you want to die here, let us go" it was a threat, a warning,and only a fool would ignore it. Their smiles dropped when yoongi pulled his jacket back revealing the silver of his gun.
It seemed like the two men were unarmed and of course they couldn't do anything with a knife when yoongi was capable of shooting them dead in a second. So taking a step back, they scoffed "until next time min" your face was buried in his back so you didn't notice when they disappeared but you flinched when yoongi turned around and cupped your back "you okay? " he mumbled and you shakily nodded even though you were anything but okay. Your whole body was shaking and tears were staining your cheeks.
It seemed like he didn't believe you but still didn't said anything as he took off his jacket and placed it on your shoulders. You welcomed the warmth with a grateful sigh but soon you realised he must be cold too. Looking up at him, your breath got caught in your chest. He was still breathing heavily and he was looking at you with eyes that held so many emotions. They looked dark with unsaid emotions. His hold around You was possessive as he took a look around the alley to make sure you were alone and safe. "a-aren't you cold too? " you whispered going to take off the jacket but he squeezed your arm "keep it on"
For a second you were caught in his eyes. Neither of you said a word and as he slowly leaned his forehead against yours but as soon as the loudness of the busy street hit your ears, it seemed like the coldness in his eyes returned. They were as cold as the day you went to his house. "I'll walk you home" he mumbled and stepped back but a gasp left your lips when his lips parted in a low groan and his hand clenched the wound "oh god'' you whispered rushing towards him and held his arm.
He froze when you took off the jacket and helped him wear it. Only when you went to place his arm around your shoulder, did he react. "what the fuck are you doing? " he growled lowly pushing you away and for a second, hurt passed by your eyes but you failed to see that he noticed it as his jaw clenched. You looked up at him with pleading eyes "you need to go to the hospital yoongi y-you're -" "no hospital " he snarled and you flinched "o-okay no hospital but let me take you home please. You're injured '' You whimperd and his eyes softened for a moment "why do you care?" he said quietly "won't you be relieved if I drop dead? Your friend will be free too" he smiled humorless. That smile always managed to send a chill down your spine. But right now it only squeezed your heart painfully "please yoongi" you begged as tears filled your eyes "you can't die"
For some reason, it warmed his cold heart to see you holding him so gently. Your words sounded so soft and caring. Full of warmth. Something that he wasn't used to. He was almost surprised when you said that. You were the first person who didn't want him to die. If it was anyone else, he was sure he would be left to die in this cold night. But as you zipped up the jacket to hide the wound and wrapped your arm around his torso, the warmth only increased. And for the first time in life, he was feeling scared.
As you gently helped him sit in the taxi, an ugly side of him told him not to get used to the feeling of warmth. That you'll end up leaving too. But as you sat besides him and told the driver to hurry with teary eyes, he wanted to get used to the feeling. He wanted to get used to you. That was the last thought in his mind before darkness consumed him.
The first thing he felt was a stinging pain in his abdomen. The last second he felt was the warmth besides him. A raspy groan left his lips as he opened his eyes , his hand going to rub his eyes-
Well at least it tried to but he frowned feeling a weight on his left hand. Sighing tiredly he turned his head only to see you sitting besides him. His eyes widened as he saw you. You were leaned against the bed frame, sound asleep and holding his hand tightly. His lips parted as he slowly took you in. You looked uncomfortable in that position. But still in the clothes you wore last night, and your hair a mess of bed head, you looked gorgeous.
So fucking gorgeous
He felt his heart beat increasing when you made a soft noise in your sleep and held his hand tighter as if it weren't tight enough already. And as he was admiring how soft you looked with strands of his falling over your face, a pounding headache interrupted him. He let out a low groan, his free hand going to rub his forehead. Fuck he really passed out last night.
Although he wouldn't admit it, all he wanted to do was lay there and keep admiring you but you looked so uncomfortable and he was really fucking thirsty. Making sure to be as gentle as possible he slowly started getting up, stifling a groan at the pain in his abdomen which was all bandaged up nicely.
Huh
Now that he was sitting, he could see a bowl full of water and a small towel besides it on the side table. What happened last night? Biting his lip he gently removed his hand from yours, his hand clenching around nothing at the sudden empty feeling. Standing up he walked over to your side and slowly picked you up despite the piercing pain shooting through his whole body. After setting you on the bed gently he found himself reaching out to push your hair out of your face. But with a tight jaw, he stopped himself and moved away from you. He needs to get out of here before he does something that he'll regret.
It had only been 15 minutes since he woke up and his morning is already ruined. How long has it been since he felt the soft and warm presence of a woman by his side? Sure he does have sex now and then but they're just that. Just sex. The means to take out his stress and frustration. He's not the type to stay and fucking cuddle afterwards. He leaves. And he never allows a woman in his room much less on his bed. So why the fuck is he letting you sleep on his bed all soft and curled up under his covers?
As he drank some cold water with a scowl, pieces of memories from last night started arriving back. He was passed out but he woke up once or twice in the middle of the night. And both the time he saw you. He almost thought it was dream. But you were here right now and sleeping in his room. In his personal space.
His eyes half opened only seeing a blurry image of your face but soon it cleared up enough to see the concern in your eyes before his own fell shut again. But he could hear your voice "you're burning up" you whispered before he heard some shuffling and after a few seconds he felt something cold pressing against his forehead.
Shit, how long has it been since someone took care of him? Did you stay up the whole night because of him? Again, he hated himself for liking the warmth creeping inside him.
"yoongi?" he jumped slightly at the sound of your voice and turned around, his face now void of emotions as you rubbed your eyes, yawning. His hand clenched and he looked away as you started walking towards him. He resisted the urge to step back when you stopped in front of him, close. Too close. Fuck he could smell the scene of jasmine on you.
"how are you feeling?" you yawned again as you pressed a hand on his forehead to check his temperature "the fever is gone" you whispered with a small smile before looking up at him with big, doe eyes and his jaw clenched when he felt his arousal increasing. You looked so innocent. So at ease like you aren't standing in front a drug dealer in his house. You had your guard down. He could see it. Why though? Shouldn't you be feeling scared right now? He still remembers the terrified look on your face when you were here for the first time.
You bite your lip. Innocently when he didn't said anything. But fuck the thoughts in his head were anything but innocent. Unknowingly his gaze travelled down to your soft, plush lips. Red and inviting. So inviting that he leaned his head down a little, as if in daze. But when your eyes widened and a soft gasp left you, it was like someone threw a cold bucket on him.
What the fuck is he doing?
Just three days ago you were begging and pleading him to give that asshole more time and he hated himself for doing it. And now he's standing in his kitchen with you, having wicked thoughts about what would happen if he just said fuck it and had a small taste of those sweet lips? To bury himself in you until all of his senses were filled with jasmine. To wrap his hand around those lush locks-
You looked startled when he suddenly pulled back and looked away with his jaw tight. And your hand reached out to him "yoongi are you okay?-" "stop" he gritted out, his frustration only increasing when you looked at him with confusion "stop what?" you said uncertainly.
Stop saying my name with the sweet, honey like voice.
Stop caring for me
Stop looking at me with those eyes
Stop here before I taint you with my darkness
Stop-
These were the things he wanted to say, but he couldn't bring himself to even though he felt like the most selfish fucking jerk.
He jerked back when you lightly touched his arm and his eyes flared with unsaid emotions before he looked away. "go home doll" his voice sounded the same it did on the first day you came here. Cold, and void of any emotions.
He turned his back to you, his jaw clenching when he caught the glimpse of hurt on your face. He shouldn't have done this. Shouldn't have let you stay here. Shouldn't have let you sleep on his bed. You almost got yourself killed last night because of him dammit.
"m-make sure to get rest" you whispered timidly and he heard some shuffling, you were collecting your things. You were leaving. And you might never come back. "goodbye yoongi" he heard your voice. He recognized the hurt in it. And it took every ounce of self control left inside him to not turn around and call you. To not hold your hand.
Just as you were about to open the door, his eyes caught something "wait" he turned around to see you looking at him with what he recognized as a glimmer of hope. His heart clenched. "it's snowing" your lips parted as you looked at the window "it's snowing" you repeated in a hushed whisper before a soft smile brightened your face "first snow of the year" you looked at him and he felt his heart pounding once again.
"stay until it stops. I'll drop you off later" he mumbled and turned around, walking towards his room, half to avoid your warm eyes happy because of the snow.
Damn snow.
For some reason he was feeling relieved.
And he knows he was going to regret stopping you.
He was really fucking right.
You looked uncomfortable in your dress so he told you to go take a shower and that he'll put some clothes for you to wear, on the bed.
The only clothes he found which would fit your small form was an old full sleeved t shirt and black pajama pants that he hadn't worn in ages. The t shirt was long enough to cover your thighs but it was really fucking cold so he digged in his closet until he found some pants which will fit you.
A long groan left his lips as he sat on the dinning table with a cup of coffee in front of him. First he let you sleep in his bedroom and now he was letting you shower in his bathroom. He could hear the shower running along with a soft hum of whatever song you were singing. He didn't knew the name but from today onwards it was his favorite song.
A small smirk tugged on his lips when he remembered how you shrieked when the cold water hit your body. He had to stand outside of the door and explain how the water turns hot because well, his shower is old and he can't be bothered to have it repaired.
Cold water hitting your body-
You were naked. And just two doors away from him. Fucking hell.
It's like he's not a old ass grown man but a fucking teenager who's getting random erections.
Drowned in his own thoughts he didn't heard the door opening and only when you called him, did he looked up "y-yoongi?" he froze.
Of course the smallest clothes he owned were still huge on you but still, you looked so fucking beautiful. Your hair were wet and the white t shirt didn't do much to hide your pebbled nipples. He looked away with his jaw tight and stood up "hope you like coffee" it was the same thing he told you 3 days ago.
You smiled lightly and nodded hesitantly sitting on the chair. While he was busy preparing your coffee, you found yourself looking around his home. Now that you think about it, this is the first time you were properly looking at his house. The first time you came here, you were so nervous you spent half the time looking at your hands. last night was full of frenzy and you were with him in his bedroom the whole time.
You were and slept in a guy's bedroom. A blush rose on your cheeks. You busied yourself with looking around to avoid any...inappropriate thoughts coming in your mind.
The living room was simple but just so him. The minimal furniture which only consisted of a couch, an arm chair and a small cabinet. Hmm now that you think about it, what can one possibly store in such a small cabinet? There was also small fire place too. Then his bedroom. It was perfectly him. Small but cozy with a queen sized bed, a closet, a side table and a bathroom.
But there were no personal touches. No photo frames hanging around, no such thing thing that looked like a hobby.
You mumbled a small thank you when he placed the cup in front of you and you wrapped your hands around it, sighing at the warmth.
He watched you for a moment as you took a sip and nodded with wide eyes. Hiding a small smirk he drank his own coffee as you continued looking around the house. You looked like a curious cat.
He raised an eyebrow when he noticed you rubbing your feet together and stood up without a word. You watched him questioningly as he walked in his room and came back a minute later. Without any words he tossed a pair of white fuzzy socks on your lap.
Avoiding your bright smile, he sat down and mumbled "it was a gift. Never wore it before" "why? It's so comfortable and soft" you happily pulled the socks on your feet before wiggling them. He scoffed smiling fondly and looked away "you like it that much? " "of course I do. I always wear them at home" you nodded as if you were speaking the obvious.
After you were done, you insisted to wash both of your cups but he pinned you with a glare so dark you didn't dare to ask again. So watching him do the dishes, you found yourself asking "do you live alone? " he nodded.
"do you have a pet? " he shook his head
"I had a cat once but after she died I couldn't bring myself to have another pet" he nodded.
"do you like coffee? " he nodded
"do you like tea? " he shook his head
"do you like macaroons? " he shook his head
"do you like tangerines? " he nodded
"do you like winter? " he shook his head
"do you like cheese? " he nodded.
You know the questions were getting ridiculous but you were bored and your phone was charging and it looked like the snow won't stop anytime soon. Besides he was answering your every question.
"do you have a girlfriend?" you both froze. Why in the world did you ask that? It just came out of your mouth!
Slowly, you saw his shoulders shaking as he laughed. Not a scoff or a chuckle but a full laugh.
"why? " he smirked turning around "you interested in my dating life, doll? " your cheeks flushed as you looked away. Goodness it's only been 3 days since you know each other properly and yet you asked him that. "n-no? " you stutured "of course not why would I? I was just speaking nonsense just forget I said that-"
Your words halted when he started walking towards you and your breath got caught in your throat when he leaned down, his hands gripping the chair as he leaned his face towards you until your lips were inches away "no I don't" he rasped and you nodded looking away, unable to form a sentence.
You expected him to move away. But when he didn't, you dared to look at him again and when you did, your heart started pounding so hard you half expected it to rip out of your chest.
He was staring at you, his eyes travelled between your own before falling down on your lips which you nibbled nervously. The look in his eyes was so dark you feared you'd drown in them if you looked any longer. But no matter how much you tried, you couldn't look away. It was as if he was pulling you in.
Neither of you noticed when you both leaned against each other but only when his lips were inches away from yours, did he spoke. His voice hoarse "tell me to stop, doll" not trusting your voice, you chose to shake your head instead. Breathing heavily he leaned his forehead against yours "tell me to stop, angel. Stop me. I'm hanging on a very loose thread which is about to snap" he groaned out the last words as you timidly wrapped your arms around his neck while his own inched towards your waist. "don't stop" you whispered, your eyes falling shut as he leaned down, but his lips didn't touch yours.
Surprised and slightly disappointed you opened your eyes only for a soft gasp to escape your lips when his lips touched you neck. He peppered small kisses on your collar bone, your neck, all the bare skin he could find.
"fuck" he rasped burying his face in your neck and inhaling deeply. The scent of jasmine was very faint but it was still there. His cock stirred with arousal when he found his scent on you. You smelled like him. Fucking hell.
His self control finally snapped when you let out a soft moan of his name, your hands tugging him closer to him "y-yoongi" you gasped and a growl left his lips as he wrapped a tattooed arm around your waist and pulled you up, his lips attacking your neck. "oh-" you whimpered as he sucked and bite your sensitive skin until he found that sweet spot which had you gushing. "there it is" he smirked against your skin as he sucked deep marks on your neck, your collar bone, all the while you could only gasp and moan helplessly.
"fucking hell" he grunted with an arm wrapping around your waist, and the other one under your knees before he picked you up swiftly. You wrapped your arms around his neck, a soft sigh leaving both of your lips when he finally pressed his lips on yours.
It was like he could breath again as he finally tasted your lips. They tasted as sweet as they looked. And it was driving him crazy. Your small gasps and moans as you let him devour you. Your fingers tugging his locks. He bite your bottom lip gently as he walked towards the couch and when your lips parted in a gasp, he took it as an opportunity to explore your mouth with his tongue. A low moan left his lips as he laid you on the couch, you legs parting to make space for him and both of you moaned simultaneously when his hard cock fit snugly against your clothes pussy. "yoongi" you signed your back arching when his hand cupped your breast, giving it a small squeeze before it traveled downwards, to the part which was still pure.
You opened your eyes confused when he suddenly stopped and your lips parted when you saw his face. He looked in pain. He looked conflicted and that made your heart drop in panic "y-yoongi? " you whispered hesitantly ''are you okay? " he looked at you for a moment before humming "yes" he pressed a soft kiss on your forehead "I'm perfect"
Was he okay? No. He kissed you with fervour, his heart squeezing painfully when the hope in your eyes returned. Fuck he shouldn't do this. He should stop before it's too late. Because he knows he won't be able to let you go. He's angry at himself for not being able to pull away. You don't deserve this. He doesn't deserve you. You're a good girl and he doesn't want you to waste your time on someone like him.
Someone like him.
A bitter taste left in his mouth at the thought as his hand inched closer to your most intimate part. A soft moan left your lips when he rubbed circles over your clothed cunt. The ache in his heart deepening as you looked at him with eyes full of trust, full of warmth, full of, he dared to say, affection.
''is this okay? " he panted as his fingers tugged your pants and his jaw clenched when you nodded. He wanted you to stop him. Because only then will be he able to stop. "dammit" he hissed as you raised your hips allowing him to pull the pants down. A deep, guttural groan left his lips when your glistening pussy came in the view of his hungry eyes. It took everything inside him to not take you right then and there.
"y-yoongi" you whispered taking his attention "what's wrong? We don't have to do this, you know that right? " he mumbled caressing your hair and you nodded gripping his t shirt "i-i want to it's just that... " "tell me doll" he murmured kissing your lips softly "I've never done this before" his eyes widened for a second before the darkness inside them returned "you're a virgin? " his voice was deep and possessive, one that made you whimper in want as you nodded with a small whisper "yes" "fuck" he cursed under his breath, his lips caressing your jaw, placing small kisses here and there as he rubbed your inner thigh "is this okay? " he mumbled lightly grazing your weeping cunt. He had to stifle a groan at the feeling of your arousal on his fingers. You were drenched. "yes" you gasped as he rubbed your cunt slowly and gently, your wetness only increasing as sucked the sweet spot on your neck.
Your mouth hanged open at the foreign feeling as he slowly pushed a long finger inside your tightness "y-yoongi" you gasped gripping his shoulders tightly as he thrusting his finger in an out of your cunt,groaning at the wetness. "you okay?" he rasped slowly pushing another finger in and you felt your eyes rolling at the back of your head as he stretched you out. The only response you could manage was a small nod as the pain started disappearing, only leaving a trail of delicious pleasure behind. "f-feels so good" you whined, your hips starting to rock against his hand as if they had a mind of their own.
A dark chuckle left his lips as he felt you clenching around his fingers and he increased his speed, his fingers curling until he found your sweet spot. "oh! -" a High pitched moan left your lips when his fingers brushed against that spot causing him to smirk "right here? " he thrusted against that same spot again and again, the hardness of his cock starting to ache but he didn't pay any mind to it. Not when you were looking so fucking beautiful. Like a goddess in his own fucked up hell.
He leaned down, his lips crushing against yours as your pussy pulsed, your juice dripping down your thigh as he continued fucking you with his fingers. ''y-yoongi i-it feels like-" you gasped shakily as your High approached rapidly and when he added a third finger, you exploded.
"cum for me sweetheart. I got you" he whispered against your ear as your back arched and your mouth hanged open as your first orgasm wrapped around you like an euphoric pleasure. He held you until you came down from your high, your body still shaking a little when he pulled back and looked at you with soft eyes as you panted, hiding your face in his chest.
"you okay? " he mumbled rubbing your cheek, a smile tugging on his lips as you opened your eyes and looked at him hazily "yes" you nodded gripping his shirt and pulled him closer. A deep blush rose on your cheek when you felt his still very hard cock pressing against your thigh and a fond look replaced the usual coldness in his eyes as he kissed your forehead.
You looked at him with an innocent smile, oblivious to the emotions raging inside him as he kept staring at you with an unreadable look on his face. You were about to say something when his phone rang and he cursed under his breath. "it's okay. It might be important" you smiled shyly watching as he nodded and stood up with a long kiss on your lips.
You pulled the blanket kept under the coffee table over your lower body and waited as he talked to someone.
"sang u paid the money in full"
Yoongi felt his heart drop. The bitter feeling inside him returned as he glanced back to see you looking at some book, completely oblivious and In your own little world.
"hyung" yoongi forced himself to look away from you and turned his attention back to the conversation "yes okay" he mumbled absentmindedly "leave him alone now. And don't sell him anything from now on" "got it" hoseok replied before hanging up.
Yoongi was left with a hollow feeling inside him. He was used to that feeling but when he was with you, that feeling seemed to disappear. He clenched his hand,walking towards the couch and you brightened up when he came back in your view "is everything okay? " you probably noticed the shift in the atmosphere.
Fuck
He nodded stifly and looked at the window "the snow stopped" your eyes widened slightly before you nodded "it stopped a while ago" you smiled tentatively "what's wrong-" "get dressed. I'll drop you home" surprise and hurt filled your eyes as you watched him pick up your pants. He handed them to you without a word and went to his room while you were left staring at the closed door.
He came out a second later with a coat and a jacket in his hands to see you still in the same position. "I'll wait for you outside" he mumbled placing the coat besides you and walked past without another word "did I do something-" you flinched when he slammed the door shut. Tears filling your eyes as you stared at the coat besides you. Sniffling softly you stood up and started walking inside the bathroom to clean up a bit.
After you were done, you opened the front door and walked out to see him standing there leaned against the wall with a cigarette in between his lips. You looked away when he looked at you, not noticing the pained expression on his face as he noticed the redness under your eyes.
He silently locked the door and walked to his car with you following him. You had worn the coat and your heart squeezed when his scent filled your senses.
The car ride was uncomfortably silent with you staring out of the window and watching the scenery change. Why did it feel like this was the last time you were seeing him? Why did it feel like you were never going to come here again? You gripped the coat tightly when he stopped in front of your apartment. You don't know how he knows your address but you weren't surprised.
You know it was time to leave but neither of you made any move. The silence was getting too much. It was staring to get suffocating and you knew you had to break it. "so-" "don't come back, doll" you were taken aback at both his words and the coldness in his voice. He looked at you with the same cold and calculated eyes as he did on the first day. And it bought fresh tears in your eyes. You looked away before he could see you crying like an idiot but it was too late. His hand clenched around the steering wheel and he looked away with a harsh breath "why? " your small whisper broke his heart. "because you don't have any reason to" you looked at him with confusion in your eyes "your friend paid the money" a humorless smile tugged on his lips when your own parted in surprise "now you don't need to worry about me killing him and I don't have any reason to see you again" you could only look at him with teary eyes as he spoke those harsh words "I got my money so-" "so you don't need me anymore? " you whispered as a few tears ran down your cheek.
It was like someone pierced his heart with a dagger when he those tears. Fuck. He hand twitched by his side as he resisted the urge to wipe your tears. He was the one who caused them in the first place. He had no right to touch you. No right To keep you in his heart.
Fortunately it wasn't hard for him to maintain his expression. So with a blank face, he mumbled "yes" his heart which had finally started beating again, broke even further as a small sob left your lips which you hide behind your hand "yes I don't need you any more"
He knew that he could never forget the look in your eyes as you looked at him with pain, anger, hurt, which matched his own eyes. His hand reached for you when you opened the door and stepped out. But he was too late because you were rushing inside the building. His eyes clenched shut when the image of your teary eyes came in his mind and he clenched his hand before slamming it against the steering wheel "fucking hell!" he roared before rubbing his face with both hands.
The pain of his heart was much stronger than the one of the knife pierced in his skin.
"y/n?" leena gasped, rushing towards you as you closed the door and leaned back against it, your face covered in tears and sobs racking your body "oh honey what happened?" she whispered taking you in her arms "leen" you sobbed burying your face in her shoulder and she held you tighter "what happened?" she rubbed your back as you both slided down the floor "h-he-" you choked up while leena cupped your face and you gripped her wrists "he what? " she looked at you worriedly. She has never seen you cry. At least like this. Your sobs sounded so pained that it made her tear up too "i-i thought we were s-something-" another sob "i-i don't know what happened" you buried your face in your hands.
She had no idea what happened between you and him. So the only thing she could do was hold you until you passed out exhausted from crying .
Leena sighed closing the door gently as to not wake you up and laid on the couch. She knew who you were talking about. You had texted her last night to tell her where you were staying. And although she was worried, you were fully capable of taking care of yourself. After all you wouldn't spend a night at his place if you didn't trust him. She knew you were feeling something for him. But she had no idea that your feeling for him were this deep. So deep for you to cry like this.
It has been a week since that day. In that week you didn't hear anything from him. Which left you to think of every possible scenario. Did you use you? That was the worst one. On that day when you woke up at dinner time with a pouding headache. After dinner you told her everything that happened, leaving one part out. You didn't want her worry for you when she already had so much on her plate. Her relation with sang u was only getting worse. When yoongi told you that sang u paid the money back, you didn't give it much thought because well, you were heart broken. But the next day leena told you that sang u asked their grandparents for money because he couldn't handle all the jobs. That only made leena more angry because she had already made it clear that it was his fault and responsibility and he was not allowed to ask them for money.
But he still did. Now leena has made it clear that she won't talk to him unless he pays back the money. So sang u is still in busan and doing lesser jobs than before to slowly pay them back. Your heart broke to see her so sad. She even said that sang u has changed. And maybe he had.
But he was the last person in your mind right now.
You had pretended to be perfectly fine the next day but you knew that leena didn't believe you. And you were glad that she didn't bought it up again. But despite pretending everything was fine, your heart was breaking a little every time your hopes that maybe he'll show up today, crushed.
For a whole week you waited for him. Surely he must have some kind of explanation? That was what you've been telling yourself. But you couldn't take it any longer.
As you were walking inside the building, you noticed leena standing by the gate and hoped that she wouldn't notice the tremble in your smile. "what are you doing here?" you asked and she smiled at you "just here to pick my babes up" a small but genuine giggle left your lips as she hooked her arm around yours. You both started walking towards the elevator but what you didn't notice was that she was glancing by her shoulder again and again.
You notice the change in her expression as you both stepped inside the elevator "is everything okay? " she looked at you startled before looking at the elevator doors closing and sighed mumbling "don't make me regret this"
You panted, running down the stairs as fast as you could, Leena's words running in your mind
"I've been noticing him behind you every time you came home since a few days. At first I thought I was wrong so I waited for you by the gate. And I was right. He was there y/n. He has been there since that day."
You hoped you weren't late as you rounded the wall and ran towards the gate. What if you were late? What if he was gone?
He wasn't
Yoongi's eyes widened when he saw you running towards him and he hoped you hadn't seen him as he sat in cat and speeded out of the area. He knew this was stupid. He shouldn't be here. But he couldn't help it. What if those two guys saw you when you were alone? You were safe as long as you were with him. But what if you ran into them when he wasn't by your side? That was the reason he had been silently walking behind you at a distance as you walked home. Yes he felt like an absolute creep but it didn't matter.
He thought there was no chance he would get caught.
How wrong he was.
He swears he almost had a fucking heart attack when he saw you running towards him.
Leena caught up with you, panting even more as she touched your arm "i-is he here?" she wheezed, her eyes widened when you sniffled shaking your head "he's gone''you whispered wiping the tear that managed to escape and looked at her with a determined face "I'm going to see him" "no you're not" she said firmly "it's getting dark y/n. There's a possibility of snowing and you told me he lives in a bad area!" "leena" you grabbed her shoulders "I need to see him. I'll take a taxi. Please" you begged "I need to see him" she sighed closing her eyes "can't you go tomorrow? " "I'm scared I won't be able to see him again if I don't go now" her eyes widened as the realisation set in "you love him" she whispered taking in your eyes. And now she knew that she wouldn't be able to stop you no matter what she did.
You had to walk a small distance because the driver refused to go in the area so you were left with a pounding heart and cold limbs. The sky was almost dark and it looked like it was about to snow soon. How stupid you are.
"yoongi!" your fist pounded against the wooden door as you called him "I know you're in there!" you shouted with a trembling form "open the door, I saw your car!" no answer.
Fresh, angry tears filled your eyes "you can't just hide in there after doing all those things!" another pound "stop being a coward and talk to me! " again no answer.
A few tears glided down your flushed cheeks as your voice got lower and lower "I know you were there yoongi" you sniffled, your voice coming out whispered as your fist slammed against the door in a weak thump "I know you didn't mean those things. So stop hiding from me please"
His heart broke with yours.
"if you don't open the door now then I'll assume that you don't want anything to do with me" you sniffled "I won't see you again" isn't that what he wanted? So why was his heart breaking so painfully?
You waited for a few more minutes, but your tears ran free when he didn't open the door "okay. I got your answer" you whispered " I won't bother you again"
His heart dropped in panic but he didn't make any move to stop you as he heard your steps disappearing.
You sniffled wiping your tears as you continued walking away from his house. Snow was starting to fall and the sky was fully dark so you doubted you'd get any taxi here. So you opted to walk a little further down the street in hopes that there will be atleast one taxi on the main door.
"isn't that yoongi's girl?" "I think she is" your heart beat increased when you heard hushed whispers and noticed two men leaned against a wall "did he dump her?" one of them chuckled and you increased your speed, clutching your phone tightly "who cares. She's a fine little thing. Maybe we can get some tonight" you forced yourself not to cry as you heard them laugh but your heart dropped when one of them suddenly blocked your way. "hey doll face" your hands trembled as you took a step back, only for him to step forward.
Yoongi. You need yoongi.
Your panic only increased when he blowed the cigeratte's smoke on your face causing you to fall in a fit of cough as you took a few steps back. But suddenly, you noticed the man's eyes widening slightly before your back bumped in a chest and a familiar arm wrapped around your waist.
You almost cried out when he spoke "do we have a problem?" his arm around you tightened when you slumped against him in relief. "y-yoongi" the man's smile was fake and his eyes showed resentment as he took a step back "no problem" he raised a hand to show he didn't mean any harm. You heard yoongi scoff before he gave the man a small nod and turned around with you in his arms "let's go home sweetheart" he mumbled kissing the side of your head.
You could hear his heart pounding and you noticed his whole body was tensed as he mumbled "don't look back, doll" you could only nod and some of the tension left his body when his house came in your view. He opened the door and pushed you in before taking a look around the street and Walking inside too. You saw him lock the door and your bottom lip trembled when he turned around and looked at you with so much anger in his eyes.
"are you out of your mind!?" he growled out each word with every step he took in front you, until he was standing inches away from you "what would have happened if I didn't came there when I did?" his jaw was tight when he gripped your arms and pulled you towards him. A soft gasp left your lips when he pulled you in his chest and his arms around your form tightened when he realised you were shaking. "it could have gotten a lot worse" he gritted as you gripped his shirt, feeling his heart pounding and his chest heaving as he breathed heavily "but it didn't" you whispered pulling back slightly and a muscle in his jaw ticked at your words. As much as he wanted to stand there and hold you in his arms, to assure himself that you were okay,He noticed that you were still shaking.
"fuck you're trembling" he pulled back, swiftly pulling the throw blanket and wrapped it around your form before going to light the fire in the fireplace. All the while, you stood there looking at him as he rushed in his room after lighting the fire and came back a second later with another, more thicker blanket. "yoongi I'm fine-" "shut your mouth" he gave you a glare so dark that you didn't dare to open your mouth as he wrapped you up in the thick blanket.
After he was sure that your trembles had subsided, only then did he allowed himself to breath. You watched him unsure as he turned his back on you and rubbed his face. Frustration clearly visible in his voice "didn't I tell you not to come here again?" you almost cowered under his stare but then remembered why you came here in the first place. Slowly, anger rose inside you "if you didn't want me to come here then why were you following me?" he flinched at the sharpness of your tone, his eyes softening when he saw the unshed tears in your eyes "that was for your safety-" "I am perfectly capable of taking care of myself yoongi-" "is that why you walked in here all alone when it was getting dark?" now it was your turn to flinch, a tear escaping your eyes which you wiped angrily "you don't get to act like this after how you treated me last week" you jabbed a finger on his chest as your bottom lip trembled "you can't pretend to care about me after using me and throwing me away-" before you could complete your sentence, his lips crashed on yours and he pushed you against the nearest wall he could find.
You could almost feel the heat of anger radiating from his body as he kissed you with fevour. It was not a sweet and gentle kiss. He kissed you like he wanted to devour you. He kissed you like a starved man. He sucked and bite your lips until they were raw and red. Only when you squeezed his shoulder, did he pull back, breathing heavily.
"used you?" he growled sucking the sweet spot in your neck harshly causing you to let out a broken moan "throw you away?" another growl, his hand holding the back of your neck as he pulled you in another rough kiss. "you have no fucking idea how much I regretted pushing you away. And don't forget this, doll. I'll rather burn myself alive before I even think about hurting you" with that, he was gone.
"yoongi-" you reached for him as he pulled away like he was burned but his words halted your actions "what if-" he looked at you with blood shot eyes and you realised that the wetness on your cheek wasn't from your tears but his own. "what if that fucker was armed? You know I never step out of this house without my gun. But you're making me do things that I've never done before" he looked pained, so pained that it hurt your heart "when I ran out of this house I thought I would never see you again. Even though that would be better, I wanted to be selfish. I've never wanted to be this selfish before but right now I want you so bad that I'm willing to break my rules for you"
He breathed heavily as he looked at you with raw emotions "you're going to be the death of me angel" he whispered "and thank fuck because I would die a happy man if you'd be the one killing me" something inside you snapped and you did something that you'd never dream of doing. Pushing the blankets off of you ran towards him and crushed your lips on his. His arms caught you effortlessly as you wrapped your arms around his neck, kissing him with every unsaid emotion. "fuck" he panted against your lips as you pushed him until you both were standing in front of the fire place and only then did you pulled back, giggling breathlessly when he chased your lips.
Cupping his face you looked at him nervously, the earlier courage slowly melting away "I want you,yoongi'' You whispered as he leaned his forehead against yours "I want all of you. Even the side that you think is ugly" he shook his head, his hands desperately pulling you closer despite his actions "I won't be able to let you go after this, angel. I don't dese-" "yes you do" you said firmly, your arousal increasing as he looked at with eyes dark with lust and something else that didn't dared to name "take me" you whispered before softly pressing your lips on his own.
A small gasp left his lips, his hands shaking as he slowly pulled the sweater off of your body, before pulling back for a second to yank his jacket off. You looked at him nervously as his fingers slowly pulled the strings of your top "is this okay? " he murmured, staring in your eyes as the strings came off, revealing your cleavage and something that you wanted to hide. You nodded nervously and only then did his eyes fell on your chest. You held his hand when his face went blank and even though you wanted to cover yourself and hide under that big blanket, you took a step back and pulled the top over your head, before letting it fall on the ground.
Yoongi's lips parted as your bra claded chest came in his view. But that wasn't what took his attention. You timidly folded your arms over your stomach as he stared at the burn marks on your forearms and shoulders. There were a few of them on your wrist and the lower part of your neck too. That was the reason you always wore clothes that covered your arms and neck.
When he didn't said anything, your self consciousness started increasing "a-are they ugly?" your timid whisper broke him out of the spell and he took a sharp breath at your words. A darkness unfurled in his eyes. Without saying anything, he yanked his t shirt off, letting it fall on the floor and turned around.
His eyes fell shut when you gasped, a small whisper leaving your lips "oh yoongi" he didn't turn around when he heard you walking towards him. Nor did he move when you lightly grazed his back where multiple cigeratte burns along with some scars were scattered. He flinched when you pressed your lips on one of the scar, his hand clenching by his side as you kissed another burn mark, then another, and another, until he could feel your warmth all the way in his heart. He slowly turned around in your arms and cupped your face, before kissing you with every ounce of passion he could gather. He wanted you to know how much he appreciates you. How much he longed for you. How much he loved-
His heart started pounding at the realisation as he gently pulled you down with him. A soft sigh leaving your lips at the warmth of both his body, and the fire besides you both as you laid on the soft carpet. Your breath hitched when his fingers wrapped around the strap of your white lace bra and when you gave a small nod, he gently pulled you up and unhooked the bra with one hand before letting it fall on the floor. your breath quickened as his eyes took in your full breast, his lips pulling you in a deep kiss while his hand massaged your breast causing a soft sigh to leave your lips.
"yoongi... " you sighed,running your hands through his hair as his kisses trailed downwards, kissing along your chest before taking on of your nipples in his mouth. Your back arched as he made sure to give the other one the same attention, and once he was satisfied, he lips traveled else where.
Tears filled your eyes when you realised he was kissing the burn marks. The one that you hated. The one that made you feel ugly. "I want all of you too" he said hoarsely as you covered your face with your hands, nodding shakily. Yoongi chose to show you he meant what he said with his actions. His fingers danced over your soft skin and he gave the softness of your belly a fond caress before his fingers inched closer to the button of your Jeans "raise your hips for me, love" he mumbled kissing over your belly button and you did as he said, allowing him to take if your pants and leaving you in a pair of white panties which were soaked "fuck" he rasped, pressing a kiss on your clothed cunt and relishing in your shaky gasp.
"relax and let me make you feel good, angel" he murmured looking at you for a moment to make sure you were alright and when you nervously reached out for him, his hand gripped yours firmly but gently. Your eyes clenched shut when he took off your panties, leaving you in your most vulnerable form in front of him. "are you okay?" he mumbled and your heart soared. You lost count of how many times he made sure you were okay. "yes" you whispered looking at him with a timid smile which he returned with a soft one of his own.
A loud gasp left your lips when he kissed your cunt before gripping your hips and pulling you in until his face was buried in between your thighs. Your eyes fell shut at the new feeling as he sucked your clit like a starved man eating his last meal. His eyes closed at the tangy taste of your arousal and a guttural groan left his lips as you gushed even more. A deep blush rose on your cheeks when he inhaled your intimate scent deeply before pushing his tongue inside your womanhood.
Your back arched and your finger desperately tugged on his hair as he sucked your clit and his free hand played with your nipple, pinching and tugging it until you were panting in want. "o-oh yoongi" your eyes rolled at the back of your head when he pushed a finger inside you and easily found your sweet spot. The sound of squelching becoming louder and louder as you got more wet by the second and you would have been embarrassed if your climax wasn't approaching so rapidly.
It seemed he knew you were about to come because he increased his speed, taking turns in sucking your clit and fucking you with his tongue "come for me y/n. Give it to me" the Way he said your name, so deeply and dark with desires, it was enough to throw you into another level of pleasure and edge you closer to your orgasm which washed over you like a truck.
Your back arched and mouth hanged opened as you came hard, with him greedily drinking every drop of love you gave him. He came up besides you as you slowly came down from your high and pushed your hair out of your face before kissing you softly. A whimper leaving your lips as you tasted yourself on his lips.
"are you okay? " he mumbled, kissing your head when you nodded with shy smile "do you want to stop here, or keep going?" you have no idea how he can be so patient and calm when his arousal which you were trying hard not to stare looked so big and well hard. Wasn't it painful?
You blushed deeply and nodded whispering "I want to be close to you" and pulled him towards yourself "you're close to me doll" he rasped kissing you softly "closer" you begged softly and the darkness in his eyes returned. He left you for a second to stand up and take off his pants, all the while keeping his eyes on you. But the second the burn marks came in his view, the dark fury returned again. Suddenly all he wanted to do was find the people who did this to you and make them regret their whole lives. But that can wait. This was all about you.
You gasped when he pulled down his boxers, your pussy clenching around nothing as a soft moan left your lips, noticing the pre cum already forming. He was big. So big that you wondered if it would even fit inside you. You watched shyly as he took out a condom from his jean's pocket and rolled it over his dick, hissing at the sensitivity. You reached for him, and he took your hand without any hesitation as you parted your legs for him.
He breathed sharply when his cock rubbed against your cunt, both of you moaning simultaneously at the feeling. "I don't want to hurt you" he sighed leaning against your head as you wrapped your arms around his neck. "kiss me doll" you nodded shyly pressing your lips on his and at the same time, he gently pushed inside you. Well as gentle as he can with the way you were squeezing him so tightly. A small cry left your lips which caused him to stop immediately as he cursed under his breath "fuck doll do you want me to stop?" he rasped wiping your tears softly and frowned when you shaked your head "don't force yourself angel" " Im not. Keep going please" you whispered softly kissing him again.
He started pushing inside you again, reminding you to breath all the while controlling himself with a tight jaw. He buried his face in your neck as you sighed softly. "you good? " he nodded not moving at all and you nodded with a small wince which he noticed immediately .He knew that distracting you would be the best option.
"do you like coffee? " you looked at him surprised before a smile brightened your face and you nodded.
"what was the name of your cat?" he mumbled nuzzling his nose against yours "cloud" "cloud? " he raised an eyebrow and you nodded giggling softly "she was as white as a cloud" he nodded "cute"
"which is your favorite weather?" "monsoon" you smiled.
"do you like snow? " "very"
"do you like hot chocolate?" "yes''
"do you like me?" "....very"
It was a shy whisper but it was enough to make both of your hearts pound.
And with that, he pulled back and slowly thrusted in deeply. It was enough to part your lips in a loud moan. His thrusts were deep and powerful, his cock huge enough to brush against every curve of your womanhood and his thrusts powerful enough for your whole body to thrust upwards everytime he thrusted in.
A deep groan left his lips, his eyes trained on your breasts which bounced with every thrust. You reached for his hand and he held it immediately, pressing your intertwined hands besides your head while the other one supported himself on top of you. Your legs wrapped around his torso and your nails scratched his back as his groans and growls along with your moans filled the room.
His pace was getting faster with each second as he pulled you in a deep kiss. ''y-yoongi feels so good-" you let out a broken moan as he hit your g spot again and again "fuck" he grunted feeling you clench around him hard. Growling lowly he increased his speed, your eyes falling shut and your back arching causing your soft breast to press against his firm and hard chest "dammit doll you keep doing that and I won't be able to hold it any longer" he groaned when you clenched around him again, his own climax approaching rapidly when he felt your walls fluttering around him signalling you were close. "yoongi I feel so close-" you cried out when he slammed inside you again and again, the sound of skin slapping increasing as he fucked you with fevour. The old deep and slow thrusts disappearing as he pounded inside you.
''come with me doll. I've got you" he gritted and your lips parted with a loud moan as your second orgasm washed over you, edging him closer to his own. "fuck-!" he gasped biting your shoulder to muffle his moans but even with that, you heard his next words loud and clear, which caused a flutter around your heart "I love you so fucking much y/n-"
Pants and heavy breathing filled the room as he fell on top of you and buried his face in your sweaty chest. After another moment of silence, he mumbled "I meant what I said angel" you smiled tiredly, wrapping your tired limbs around him "I love you too yoongi" his tense form relaxed against you and he pressed soft kiss on whatever skin he could reach before slowly pulling out of you. He frowned when you winced and with a small grunt, he stood up and picked you up in his arms, a soft smile blooming in his face as your soft giggle reached his ears.
"are you okay?" he mumbled walking towards his bedroom. You nodded snuggling In his bare chest "just a little sore" he gently laid you on the bed and walked in the bathroom to bring a wet towel. You blushed as he cleaned you up gently before rolling the condom and throwing it in the bin.
And finally, as he laid on the bed, you scooted closer until he took you in his arms, rubbing your bare back softly enough to lull you Into a sweet slumber. "can I ask you something? " he mumbled and you nodded sleepily "who did this to you doll" you stiffened in his arms, your heart squeezing at the protectiveness in his voice. After a second of silence, you whispered "my parents" it was his turn to stiffen up as anger rose high inside him "your parents?" he mumbled darkly, his arms around you tightening when you sniffled softly "t-they.. Well-" "you don't have to tell me doll. I'm sorry for asking''he said quietly but you shaked your head and kissed his jaw "it's okay. I-i need to talk about this" he waited for you patiently as you took a deep breath "t-they were drug addicts" he took a sharp breath "people told me that they were addicts since years. They stopped when I was born but after a while, they started doing them again. It got really bad. So bad that they would get mad at everything I did. As a punishment, they would burn me" you whispered the last sentence and his arms around you tightened "they didn't stop until they had an overdose and died when I was 7"
7. At that young age you had to suffer all that. Your own parents did that to you when you were so small. When you were just a child. That's why you had reacted like that when he told you that sang u might die of an OD. fuck he has been hurting you ever since you came in his life and yet you're still willing to be with him.
"what about you?'' you asked quietly snuggling in his chest and hugging him tighter. His heart soared. You were trying to comfort him. How long had it been since someone comforted him? "my uncle" he mumbled, his voice emotionless "he's an alcoholic. Was fucked up in his own ways and fucked me up too" he chucked dryly "I was 13 when he got thrown in the hospital" he held you a little tighter "he's still dying in that hospital and will die there without seeing any of his family's face'' "I'm so sorry" you whispered and He chuckled softly "you don't have anything to be sorry of, angel."
Even when he told you that, you still kissed him softly which comforted him in every way he could imagine. He knew he didn't deserve you. But fuck he wanted to be selfish. And he is going to be.
As you slept peacefully in his arms, he thought about what your life together will be like. And that night he made many decisions. Getting the hell out of this place and leaving this business was one of them. You didn't know it yet but he would do anything and everything in his power to give you anything you wanted.
~•~
A soft giggle left your lips as you felt soft lips tickling your skin and a fond smile lifted your lips when you felt his large hand cupping your barely visible tummy. "mmm are you leaving? " you whispered sleepily kissing him back, laughing as he groaned against your lips "thinking of not going today," you glared at him "this is the 3rd time you're not going to work in a week" "so? I'm the boss so I can take as many day off I want. Besides" he smirked getting under the covers and rubbing your bare stomach softly "I'd much rather spend the day with my wife and my child" you gasped giggling when his lips attacked yours.
Well guess who's taking another day off.
Yoongi left the business soon after when you both got together 6 years ago. He moved into another relatively nicer area and started doing less shady jobs like bar tending and working in restaurants until he met another ambitious man like himself. Kim namjoon and min yoongi founded a security company together which is now thriving. And 4 Years later, you both got married. Now life couldn't get better with your husband and your unborn child.
"I love you doll"
"I love you too yoongs"
@xjiminsthighsx @bri-mal @bunnyrhe @rosquilleta @raineandskye @shymagda-7 @creatorspalace @yoonaasa @iheartsvt @xmochiloverx @kyojuro-ska @meow-min @kissme-ornot @wobblewobble822 @kookieaddicted96 @thelilbutifulthings @joonsblossom @Atherosworld@jlee97
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prettypearlypisces · 2 months
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𝔪𝔦𝔡𝔫𝔦𝔤𝔥𝔱 (𝔪) | 𝔪𝔶𝔤
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𝔭𝔞𝔦𝔯𝔦𝔫𝔤: yoongi x f.reader
𝔯𝔞𝔱𝔦𝔫𝔤: m (18+); MINORS DO NOT INTERACT
𝔰𝔱𝔞𝔱𝔲𝔰 | 𝔱𝔶𝔭𝔢 | 𝔤𝔢𝔫𝔯𝔢: complete | one-shot | fluff and smut
𝔰𝔲𝔪𝔪𝔞𝔯𝔶: "I think I can help you sleep better."
𝔱𝔞𝔤𝔰 & 𝔴𝔞𝔯𝔫𝔦𝔫𝔤𝔰: smut, explicit language, sleepy yoongi struggling with burnout :((( , taking a shower together <3, long hair Valentino yoongi 🧎🏻‍♀️, dick bulge through the silk pants 🫡 , oral sex (m. receiving), flexible dom/sub dynamics (they each take charge at certain points, but it's nothing intense), praise (yoongi calls her "pretty/good girl" 🫠), slight hair pulling/grabbing, face-fucking, finger sucking + a paragraph talking about Yoongi's hands, a lil bit of gagging, cum swallowing, might as well add body worship from how much reader talks about how gorgeous he is, yoongi's thighs ♡, spit/drooling, slight ball play, reader sniffs the balls because she's like that lmao, reader doesn't touch herself or cum, this list is nasty but I promise you they're very sweet with each other 😭, cuddling <3, this is about sucking dick it should not be this long
𝔴𝔬𝔯𝔡 𝔠𝔬𝔲𝔫𝔱: ~4.8k
𝔞/𝔫: hello! this is my first fic ever on this blog. I rewatched all the Valentino Yoongi content recently, saw him looking scumptious in these pajamas, and next thing you know we're here 💀 I haven't written anything this long (that is non-academic) in a very, very long time, so I would ask that you please be nice and bear with me. But I do plan to get better the more I write. That said, I hope you enjoy! 🤍
𝔪𝔞𝔰𝔱𝔢𝔯𝔩𝔦𝔰𝔱 | 𝔱𝔞𝔤𝔩𝔦𝔰𝔱 | 𝔞𝔰𝔨 | 𝔣𝔢𝔢𝔡𝔟𝔞𝔠𝔨 | 𝔞𝔯𝔠𝔥𝔦𝔳𝔢 𝔬𝔣 𝔬𝔲𝔯 𝔬𝔴𝔫
𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆟 𓆞 𓆟 𓆞 𓆟 𓆞 𓆟 𓆞 𓆟 𓆞 𓆟 𓆞
“You need to relax.” 
Your voice was insistent but gentle, much like your fingers buried in Yoongi’s thick hair, and he closed his eyes and leaned into your palms as you worked shampoo into his scalp. A quiet whimper escaped his lips as you circled your fingertips against a tense muscle at the base of his skull. 
He was overworking himself again, frustration making his shoulders taut and wearing his patience thin. His eye bags were puffy, exhaustion evident in his eyes. It pained you to know that he hadn’t given himself a break over the past few weeks. Yoongi was so passionate, something you adored about him – but you knew that when inspiration struck, sometimes he had the tendency to push himself too hard, for too long. Now it left him on the brink of burnout. 
That’s where you came in. Yoongi had been glued to his desk before you came in and practically forced him from his chair. He made weak protests as you dragged him out of his home studio and forced him into the bathroom, but he’d shrugged off his clothes anyway as you turned on the warm water. 
Now you both stood under the warm sprinkle while you washed his hair. Yoongi let out pleased purr-like sounds from deep in his throat that made you grin. He reminded you of a wet, docile cat resigned to its bath time. 
When it was time to rinse, you cupped your hand over his brows to block any soap from getting in his eyes as water poured over his head. Then you took your fingers and gently rubbed along his neck to clean him and hopefully melt any tension there. Yoongi held your wrist and gently rubbed his thumb along your skin, his way of giving you a silent thank you. Warmth bloomed in your chest, so you planted a kiss on his fingers – your own silent “you're welcome” that wouldn’t disrupt the nighttime quiet. 
You held him close, rubbing down his chest and stomach with a soapy rag. Thick bubbles lathered from his shoulders all the way down to his fingers before swirling down the drain. 
Around his hips and butt, you were sure to be gentle, even gripping one of his cheeks playfully. Yoongi pouted, whiny, and you couldn’t help but giggle at the red that dusted his cheeks before his face broke out into a small, tired smile. Meanwhile, Yoongi set about reaching down to clean himself. He wasn’t overtly prude but he did always prefer to do this part himself, so you crouched down carefully and made your way down his legs. 
You focused on softly rubbing down Yoongi’s legs and even leaned forward to lay a soft kiss on the skin. You couldn’t explain it, but you adored Yoongi’s thighs. You loved touching them, holding them, kissing them. Biting them. A small pool of heat bloomed in you as you realized that you were now eye-level with his cock too, driving you to give him a more forceful, hungry kiss. The thought of taking him into your mouth, right here and now, crossed your mind, fueled by the simmering image of Yoongi’s head thrown back in bliss, body glistening from the shower water. Unfortunately, you knew from experience that water wasn’t conducive to sex, and the thought of soap getting in your eyes and nose was not in the least bit appealing. 
With great restraint, you pulled away and scrubbed his calves and feet. As soon as you were done, Yoongi hauled you up and scrubbed you down with the same gentle ease as you had given him. He made sure to shield your hair from the pouring water, since you’d clipped it up to keep it from getting wet. Your tummy quivered when Yoongi passed his hand between your legs, a small look of mischief glinting in his knowing eyes when you bit your lip. But he continued his downward path, leaving you feeling warmer than steam. 
A part of you ached, feeling how tender he was being with you, even when he was tired, even when you were the one trying to take care of him. He always was. Yoongi’s eyes flickered down to your face and must have seen something in it, because his eyes were soft when he met your gaze again. 
“I want to take care of you, too,” he said. You didn’t say anything, but the shy turn of your lips was enough to tell him how you felt. 
When you were done, Yoongi shut off the shower and reached out to wrap you in a spare towel, rubbing your shoulders and back all the way down your torso and legs. Then Yoongi deftly unwound the towel and used it to dry himself. You wrinkled your nose.
“You should use your own towel,” you complained, but there was no malice in your words. Yoongi only chuckled and pulled you close. 
“I’m tired,” he countered with a playful whine. “And impatient.” 
A laugh bubbled from your mouth and he rubbed his nose against your temple. Your cheeks warmed when he shifted and you felt a subtle tell-tale poke against your hip, but before you could say anything, he pulled away with a soft rub on your tummy to slip into his pajamas and finish his night routine. 
You were left to do the same, but now you felt anything but sleepy. 
The festering heat that had been lingering inside you now sparked into a deep desire. As you pulled on your pajamas – a simple tank top and sleep shorts – you thought of Yoongi’s hands on you, thought of his skin underneath your own wandering palms. 
Then you chided yourself. Don’t be selfish, you thought. He’s tired. Let him rest. You knew it was true. Yoongi was probably exhausted and would have no energy to do what you wanted, and it wasn’t fair to expect that of him right now. Besides, you reasoned, it wouldn’t be a good idea to keep him up longer than you already had. 
You made your way to the bedroom, which beckoned you with its deep blues and cozy greys. 
Yoongi’s room was a nighttime haven. He liked to keep it as comfortable as possible, with soft carpets and downy pillows. Next to his large bed sat a settee, your robe robe sprawled across it from when you’d tossed it before the shower.
Once you sat on the plush duvet, you almost immediately felt your eyelids become droopy. You were almost glad for the gentle tug of drowsiness, which quelled your desire enough to make sleep bearable. 
Until Yoongi came into the bedroom – and any thoughts you had about sleep immediately evaporated. 
His pajamas were black silk, the fabric sleek like ink against his skin in the low light of your bedroom. He didn’t seem to notice the way you couldn’t tear your eyes away from him while he riffled through his bedside drawer for something. Socks, maybe. You couldn’t be sure, not when your mind suddenly felt hazy as you traced the line of Yoongi’s body down, down until – Oh God, was that the outline of his cock?
Swallowing almost became impossible from how heavy your tongue suddenly felt in your mouth, your eyes hungrily taking in every delicious detail of the man in front of you. His dark hair, the curve of his lips, the small shadow that pooled in the divot of his collarbone, making you want to bite bite bite.
You didn’t know why these pajamas were driving you up the wall, especially when Yoongi had been naked in front of you not long ago, but they were. They pulled your eyes to him and sparked your dampened libido back to life. 
“What’s the matter, pretty girl?” Yoongi’s voice startled you out of your thoughts. Dark eyes and a small smirk met your eyes when you finally looked up. “You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”
Fuck. He knows.
Embarrassment flooded your cheeks, warm and red. Of course he would. He knew you. He knew you’d been aching for him ever since the shower, knew that you wouldn’t ask for what you wanted because you were supposed to be making sure he rested. But as your eyes fell again shamelessly to his veiled cock, you realized that he was just as needy as you. 
Yoongi’s gaze was the same – knowing, wanting – when you met it again, but the red of your cheeks disappeared as your lips parted in an impish smile. 
“Nothing,” you shrugged as you stood up from the bed, “just thinking.”
You closed the distance between you two, until the familiar smell of him, warm and woodsy, filled your head. 
“I think I can help you sleep better,” you said, your finger sliding up his chest and playing with the lapel of his sleep shirt. The look Yoongi gave you made you want to get on your knees right there and then. 
Yoongi’s breath was warm and sent goosebumps up your arms when he said, low and oh-so-quiet, “Show me.”
I will your eager smirk said as you took his hand. 
He followed you to the settee nestled in the corner of the room and landed with a quiet poof against the cushions when you pushed him backwards and immediately kneeled between his legs. 
A sly glint shone in your eye as you smoothed your hands down Yoongi’s chest, his heartbeat strong and steady, then brought them up and down his thighs over the luxurious slip of his silk pajamas, the fabric the only barrier keeping you from touching his skin.
Yoongi let you take your fill of him, leaning back against the cushions and watching you with amused eyes that made you only more eager to please him. As you worshiped him with your palms, the need to feel him everywhere overcame you. To smell him, touch him, taste him. 
Your hand ghosted over where his cock was hidden, and you nearly moaned feeling the slowly-stiffening bulge. A devious bite of your lip as you looked up at him, your hands reaching for the hem of his pants. “Can I take these off?” 
Yoongi huffed out a laugh, beautiful and bright. The sound made your heart swell. He ran a hand through his dark hair and sunk lower in his seat, spreading his legs wider. “Go for it.”
The pants were off in seconds and pooled around his ankles. Miles of milky white skin seemed to stretch on forever as Yoongi let you run your hands over him; his legs, his hips, his stomach and chest as your hands roamed under his shirt. You quickly unbuttoned it too, leaving his chest bare for you. 
Yoongi’s dark eyes brimmed with budding arousal but still shone playfully as he watched you. A tremor ran through him as you gently scraped your nails down the skin of his navel, right above his cock. Goosebumps traveled up Yoongi’s stomach and a quick glance upwards let you know that his nipples had stiffened, but you kept your eyes on the real prize.
Semi-erect and already stiff at the base, Yoongi’s cock was flushed dusky pink at the tip. Desire coursed hot and molten through you, your hands hot as you shifted eagerly on your knees. You couldn’t wait to have him in your mouth.
Leaning in, you pressed small, fleeting kisses around his thighs, avoiding his cock entirely, getting him worked up from the teasing sensation of your lips on his skin. In truth, it helped hold you back as well. Yoongi’s pretty honey skin always filled you with the desire to mark him up. The temptation to suck on it, bite it, worry it between your teeth until bruises and bite marks bloomed all over him was strong, but instead you settled for gentle brushes of your lips.
Your hands still made their way up and around his legs, soothing and comforting. Closer and closer you made your way up, licking at warm skin. A breathy sigh made you look up: Yoongi’s head tilted back slightly as he looked down at you through half-lidded eyes. 
You lifted your head and rubbed around his hip bones. “Good?”
Yoongi hummed in response, the tension in him melting away as he gave you a slow smile. “So good I’m falling asleep.” 
“Don’t sleep on me.”
“Keep me up,” Yoongi challenged.
You rolled your eyes and pinched his thigh playfully. “Fine, I’ll get to it.” 
Settling in again, you licked your palm and fingers. You heard Yoongi gasp quietly as you wrapped your fingers around him, gently pumping your fist. His skin was hot, pulsing in time with his heartbeat. Laying your head against his hip, you watched him close his eyes as he licked his lips. 
“Better?” you asked with amused eyes.
Yoongi nodded. “Much better.”
You hummed, pleased. “Good.”
Once Yoongi’s cock had completely filled out, you took a moment to admire it. 
You remembered, before ever seeing Yoongi naked, wondering if his cock was just as pink as his lips, his elbows, the knuckles of his long, knobby fingers. You had been pleased to find out that it was pinker, especially when erect. 
The head glistened red and sticky with precum. You felt your own mouth start to drool at the thought of it between your lips: the velvety skin, the heavy weight of it against your tongue, the taste of him. 
You rubbed his hips before taking his cock in your hand again. 
“So fucking perfect,” you breathed, the words pouring out of your mouth before you could even think, your breath ghosting tantalizingly close to his tip. Yoongi let his head fall back in bliss as you worked your fist around him, goosebumps racing along his hips. You couldn’t tear your eyes away from him splayed out above you, knowing you were making him feel so good.
Feeling bold, you continued to stroke him and leaned down to where his balls hung low. Yoongi lifted his head, eyes sharp as your tongue laved over the velvety skin before gently sucking one of the plump balls into your mouth. You held his gaze, unwavering, matching the intensity of Yoongi’s dark eyes. You hummed, pleased, then smirked slightly before placing a wet kiss where your lips had just been. Then you did the same with the other, rolling it in your mouth gently. Yoongi’s soft tongue poked out to lick at his lips before he sucked in a shaky breath, reveling in the pleasure of you playing with him
Precum slipped between your fingers and filled the room with the slick sound of the glide up and down his shaft. The wet, filthy sound drove your lust to even greater heights, and the whine Yoongi let out when you suddenly stopped stroking made your cunt ache.
His eyes met yours and the smile you gave him was absolutely sinful when you gripped your fingers around his tip to press your nose against the base of his cock. Yoongi covered his face and huffed out a laugh that broke into a strangled moan as you inhaled the clean, heady scent of him.
You hummed lowly. “Fuck, you smell so good, Yoon.” 
A bead of precum dripped from the slit of his cock, and you circled it around the head with your thumb, unrelenting, until it was sensitive and glistening. You relished the way his thighs tensed at the motion, the way his hands tensed, the way he squeezed his eyes shut. A teasing lick to his head. A strangled “shit” under his breath. Fuck, you couldn’t wait to have him moaning, loudly. 
You wanted him, craved the taste of him, the feel of him in your mouth—
“Can’t wait to taste you,” you said innocently, then taunting. “You’d like that, wouldn’t you? Like me to suck on your cock?”
You licked your lips, watched Yoongi’s eyes follow the movement of your purposeful tongue, then licked up the underside of his swollen, needy shaft. A low moan tumbled from Yoongi’s mouth as he shifted his hips. “Fuck—yes, please.”
Satisfied with his desperation, you brought your mouth down around the aching tip of his cock. Yoongi sucked in a breath and gripped the cushions as you teased your tongue over his slit. The salty taste of precum burst in your mouth. Slick and warm, it coated your tongue. You moaned. This is what you wanted.
After a few moments toying with his slit, you circled the sensitive rim around the crown of his cock, drawing breathy moans from Yoongi’s lips. Then you trailed your tongue down to the spot underneath where you knew he was sensitive and slowly licked it with the flat of your tongue. 
Yoongi had shown you how he liked to tease it with the pad of his finger sometimes while he masturbated – quick or languid, always unrelenting until he’d managed to spurt all over himself. He loved when you played with it afterwards, making his hips spasm from the oversensitivity. More precum dribbled from his tip which you suckled up with deliberate licks.
Yoongi threw his head back and stilled as your tongue flicked over the spot quickly, assaulting it with your tongue. “Fuck,” he hissed, his whole body tense above you. 
Suddenly, a dull pain lanced across your scalp. Yoongi’s hand laced into your hair and pulled your head closer, making you whimper at the rough treatment.
“Down,” he said, tugging again, and holy shit, just one word uttered gently from him had you clenching your cunt desperately like a bitch in heat. Happy to comply, you sunk your mouth down around him, keeping your eyes on him the way he liked it. You held your head low for a moment before pulling off. “Good girl,” he praised with a subtle groan. Yoongi gave you a couple seconds to regain yourself, rubbing soothing circles on your abused scalp, before saying, “Again.”
Eager, you repeated the motion and held your mouth there for a moment, eyes closed as you swallowed around him. When it was time to pull off, you sucked in a breath with your eyes locked on his slick cock. To see it flushed and gleaming with your spit made your stomach twist with lewd excitement. A whispered “fuck” left Yoongi’s lips as a string of spit stretched from his tip to your lips, and you preened when Yoongi reached out rub his thumb soothingly across yourcheek. 
“You look so pretty with your mouth full of my cock,” he said, and you felt dizzy with arousal when he gave you his beautiful smile. He was gorgeous — dark hair and deep eyes and flushed cheeks. Tender touches and gentle praise. The sudden fondness in Yoongi’s eyes clashing with his filthy words and the fact that his cock had been down your throat not five seconds ago gave you momentary whiplash.
Yoongi’s smile melted into something cruel as he dragged his thumb down your mouth, breaking the sticky string of spit, before pushing it past your lips. Feeling cocky, your tongue came out to lick obscenely around his thumb and you moaned around it as if it were his cock. 
It might as well have been; you loved Yoongi’s hands, his long fingers and rough palms. His beautiful instruments, when he was strumming the guitar or playing the piano. You loved how gentle they were with you, brushing back your hair, holding your hands, cupping your cheeks. But you also loved how filthy they could be: rubbing your clit and fucking your wet cunt until it made obscene squelching sounds and dripped down his palm. You felt your cunt drool filthily onto your panties, surely soaked by now.
Two more fingers pressed past the gates of your lips as Yoongi fingered your throat gently. Fuck, such a filthy sight had Yoongi gripping his still-aching cock, groaning at the way your throat tightened around his digits, the way spit spilled from your mouth. 
“So fuckin’ eager, like you were made for me.” Yoongi’s voice rumbled low from his throat, his chest heaving slightly, making you grip your knees. He pulled his fingers from your mouth and tilted your chin up, your hazy eyes now open. A surprised squeak left your mouth as Yoongi leaned down and kissed you sweetly on the lips. His soft hair ticked your cheeks. 
“Just a little more, yeah?” he said, holding your face close to his, and you nodded, dazed. Your eyes locked onto his pink lips that shone with your own spit and his precum. The sight shouldn’t have excited you as much as it did, but it sent a thrill up your spine.
Then Yoongi was leaning back and licking his lips. “Then c’mere, pretty girl, come finish sucking my cock.” 
And how could you say no to that?
It wasn’t long before Yoongi’s wet cock was back in your willing mouth. You circled your tongue around his tip reverently, Yoongi’s hips canting into your mouth when you looked up at him with those slutty, wanton eyes. 
“Good girl—just like that,” he groaned. “Keep going and don’t fucking stop.”
Your pussy tingled and you thought you might be able to cum just from the way the center seam of your shorts was rubbing against you. Even if you didn’t, you would be more than satisfied. You loved making Yoongi feel good, and you loved his cock. You could spend eternity on your knees worshiping Yoongi and his beautiful tool. The glide of him in and out of your mouth was perfect, so solid and warm that you couldn’t help but think about the way it felt when he slid into your cunt, filling you up just right, slippery with your wetness—
God, if you weren’t so hell-bent on making sure Yoongi slept well tonight, you’d push him down and ride him until morning. 
You gagged a bit in surprise when Yoongi gave a particularly quick thrust into your mouth, but fuck it if the sound he made wasn’t worth it. The deep, breathy groan went straight to your cunt, and you moaned around a mouthful of cock. Pleasant vibrations traveled down Yoongi’s shaft and made Yoongi’s grip on your hair tighten. 
“This okay?” he asked, breath strained. Yoongi’s fingers tensed and, as if he could sense the sharp pain in your scalp, immediately went lax.
So considerate, you thought fondly to yourself. You’d be smiling if your mouth wasn’t so busy. 
You brought Yoongi’s free hand to where his other fingers were already threaded in your hair. A garbled hum and a nod was all it took for him to hold your head in place as he rut his hips into your mouth, letting out a string of moans while your fingers played with his balls. 
Spit slid past your lips and dripped down your chin with each of Yoongi’s thrusts into your mouth. You felt so thoroughly used, sitting for him so prettily on your knees, not even touching yourself while he chased his release.
“You’re doing so good, so fucking good,” he said, sucking in a breath, head thrown back against the couch. 
Yoongi’s hand pushed you down until your throat contracted around him, tears welling along your waterline. You didn’t mind though — Yoongi was desperate to cum, chasing blissful orgasm, and you were happy to give it to him. 
As he thrust into your mouth, you licked along his shaft before flexing your tongue to rub against the rim of his cockhead. Yoongi’s hips stuttered and he let out a shaky breath. You peeked up at his blissful face, seeing his half-lidded, hazy eyes. Yoongi was close, teetering on the precipice of his release. His stomach was tense as you slobbered over him, the sound of your slick lips and his voice mingling in a lustful torrent. 
You groaned eagerly, letting your tongue do the work until, finally, Yoongi came. The deep, breathy groan he let out was going to stay with you forever. So was the sight of Yoongi in the throes of his orgasm: head thrown back, thighs spread, skin flushed pink all the way down his neck. The veins snaking up his arms were taut, stark under his skin. 
Yoongi’s brows were furrowed and his plush lips parted. His hips stilled as he pushed you down securely on his cock. It pulsed hotly in your mouth, spurting a thick pool of cum on your tongue, making you moan obscenely. Yoongi’s breath hitched as you closed your eyes and swallowed his seed, palm still cupping his balls. 
Like his length, they throbbed as his cum was spent. You fondled them gently to milk more out of him, not wanting to miss a single drop. You loved Yoongi’s cum — the taste of it, the feeling of it sliding hotly down your throat and settling deep in your belly. Your eyes became glassy at the thought, a dopey smile spreading across your lips. 
Yoongi gently slid himself from your mouth to paint your lips with the last drops of his cum, watching you reverently drink everything he had to offer until there was nothing left. Feeling naughty, you licked across his overstimulated tip one last time, and Yoongi shuddered, his thighs closing around her head. 
“Brat,” he huffed, but he was smiling. Your smile was just as bright as you swallowed the sticky mess on your lips and lapped at his cock with little kitten licks to clean him up. A kiss was planted on his knee before you pulled up his pants and tucked him away. “Only for you,” you said with a pat to his thighs. 
Yoongi re-buttoned his sleep shirt and pulled you up into his lap to smooth down your unruly hair. He gently ran his fingers across your chin, wiping away the mess of his escaped cum and your spit. Then he kissed you. You hummed happily against his lips before Yoongi pulled away.
“Thank you,” he whispered, looking at you like you were the most precious thing in the world. “You always make me feel so good.”
It was amazing, really, how you could suck his cock so unabashedly on your knees, but the gentlest words from his mouth had you blushing shyly. 
He took your hand in his and led you towards the bed where he pulled you down with him, his frame enveloping yours as the comforter fell over you two. Yoongi intertwined your fingers and rubbed his thumb across the back of your knuckles. 
He was always like this in the afterglow of whatever you two did – affectionate, attentive, a bit sleepy. Yoongi was, at heart, a passionate, considerate lover who thrived on soft and tender moments such as these. You could never get enough of it; the way he touched you, how tender and safe he made you feel. 
He rubbed his nose against your hair and slipped his hand across your stomach, solid and warm. 
“You didn’t cum?” he asked, and you shook your head no. Yoongi drummed his fingers soothingly against your skin. “You want to?”
The offer was tempting, but you felt yourself close to crashing now that you had burned through your lust, and although you couldn’t see him, you knew Yoongi must have been even sleepier than you. 
You brought his hand close to your chest and kissed his fingers sweetly.
“Later. I’m sleepy,” you said, then sighed. “Besides, I feel like I need another shower.” 
Indeed, a cool layer of sweat now covered your skin, along with some spit and cum that had dripped onto your chest. Not to mention how sticky your panties felt in your shorts. 
Yoongi chuckled sleepily and tightened his arm around you. “Okay,” he agreed, holding you close before his fingers ventured down and pressed over the seam of your shorts. He rubbed a slow, deliberate circle over your clothed mound, a teasing phantom touch that reminded you of the pleasure he could give you with those fingers. His lips were hot against your throat, and you shivered as he gripped your hip in his free hand and said, so close to your ear that you shivered, “Later.”
The thought of his head between your thighs, suckling on your poor pussy while his deft fingers prepared you for his cock, flooded your mind. You could only imagine soaking him down to the base as he slipped inside you, making you roll your hips against his fingers. 
You nodded quickly, breathily. “Yeah, yeah, that sounds good.” 
Yoongi’s breath was like a balmy breeze on your neck as he chuckled. “Thought so.” He placed a kiss under your ear before snuggling close, finally letting himself sleep. Your own eyelids fell shut, and Yoongi’s heartbeat lulled you like a gentle rhythm in your ear until sleep overcame you too. 
𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆟 𓆞 𓆟 𓆞 𓆟 𓆞 𓆟 𓆞 𓆟 𓆞 𓆟 𓆞
Copyright © prettypearlypisces. Do not copy, rewrite, repost, translate, or otherwise alter or claim on any platforms.
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moonchild1 · 1 year
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min yoongi fic rec list (Ⅴ)
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hi guys it's been a minute since i posted it's been hectic i recently got a promotion so that's been taking up my time but here's another list of my favourite yoongi fics honestly reading them was so much fun and made me feel happy so i hope you enjoy them as much as i did. remember to please show lots of love and support to these incredible authors and creators and their blogs, don't forget to give them a follow , leave a heart, reblog or leave a kind message i know they will appreciate hearing from you, these fics contain smut so no minors interact feel free to send and share any fics you are currently into and would like to share with me i would love hearing from you guys
a- angst s- smut f- fluff
series
love lockdown by @personasintro f s a (enemies to lovers zombie apocalypse)
belong by @ahundredtimesover f s a (exes au basketball yoongi summer love au)
in the margins by @bonvoyagenoona f s a (enemies to friends to lovers slow burn)
look down on me like that by @here2bbtstrash s a (enemies/coworkers to lovers slow burn)
andante cantabile by @kkulfm-2 f s (regency au unrequited love slow enemies to lovers pianist yoongi)
match made in hell by @ughcore  f s a (arranged marriage doctor au rivals to lovers)
only yesterday by @borathae f s a (strangers to lovers)
dating advice by @taleasnewastime f s a (strangers to lovers)
the deal by @untaemedqueen f s a (strangers to lovers gang/cartel au)
matilda by @babystrcandy f s a (brother's best friend unrequited love)
down the hall by @jjungkookislife s a (brother's best friend)
ink nemesis by @scriptaed f a (fake dating au)
unexpected lovers by @jjkeverlast f s a (fake dating artist yoongi)
love is a dog from hell by yourlocalhoney (ao3) f s a (love triangle friends with benefits) ft.Jungkook
petals by @yoonia f (parents au)
pink bird houses by @54daysormore f a (single dad au)
everytime by @deathbyyoongx f s a (fuckboy exes au)
desolate by @angelicyoongie f s a (hybrid au)
one-shot
first-date bait by @jimlingss f (strangers to lovers)
↬first-date bait drabble @/jimlingss s (strangers to lovers)
wallflowers by @bonvoyagenoona s (strangers to lovers)
shirt by @bonvoyagenoona s a (one night stand idol au)
sugar by @zehakoo f s (ceo au strangers to lovers neighbours)
radio sweethearts by @helenazbmrskai s (brother's best friend college au slow burn)
tongue like candy by @jjungkookislife s a (brother's best friend age gap)
auburn skies by @persphonesorchid f s a (brother's best friend)
black and white by @akinnie75 f a (slow burn)
always & forever by @sugakookitty f s (established relationship wedding au)
hard liquor by @chateautae s (boss x employee age gap)
sweetener by @taegularities f s (enemies to lovers fwb au fuckboy)
soft spot by @cultleaderyoongi f (first date)
↬sweet spot by @/cultleaderyoongi f s (established relationship)
sticks & stones by @xpeachesncream f s a (friends to lovers ex friends with benefits pinning au)
fuck being friends by @strawberrynamjoon f a (friends to lovers college au)
the seventh muse by @wwilloww f s (friends to lovers)
tell me what you want by @/wwilloww f s (friends to lovers)
yoongi’s lullaby by @jiminrings f a (unrequited love friends to lovers soulmate au)
illicit favors by @yoongiofmine f s a (friends to lovers)
snow blanket by @yoonieper f s (friends to lovers)
a wager of lords & love @hisunshiine s (regency au arranged marriage)
an empty home by @7deadlysinsfics s a (arranged marriage) ft. Taehyung
the nanny diaries by @btsgotjams27 f (single mom roommate au)
the good part by @introlxv s (roommate au)
handyman by @borathae s a (rebound au roommate au)
peaches in bed by @/borathae s (domestic au husband au)
don't hold hands by @whatifyoulivelikethat s ( friends with benefits roommate au)
by the time i've figured out what it's worth by @ugh-yoongi f s a (marriage au)
swing life away by @aphrodijin f s a (marriage au)
the little things by @kth1 f s (boyfriend au)
fxck a fxckboy! by @yoongifis s (fuckboy)
cupid's curse by @ressjeon s a (first love au)
dawned in by @aquagustd f s (dilf yoongi)
bad things by @yoonia s a (escort au pining)
close call by @xjoonchildx (mafia au)
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↬looking for other myg fics or the other bts members check out my library
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bluemari23 · 2 months
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hello soulmate | min yoongi
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summary: your first day on the job doesn't turn out the exact way you envisioned
pairing: min yoongi x hype employee reader
genre: soulmate au, soulmarks, fluff,
warnings: running, unhappy coworkers, some injury
word count: 1.7k
masterlist
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Running was not your forte, and neither was breathing apparently as you choke trying to get air into your lungs as you reach the fortunately empty elevator. 
You were running late, and you were seconds away from being fired on your third day of work. You had just gotten the job as one of the content creators for a variety show through one of the big four entertainment companies, and today was the first official day at the company. 
HYBE was bigger than you imagined, and thus, the reason you were late. You had gotten lost on the first floor and then there were issues with your ID card getting past security. But you manage to reach the 12th floor in record time and use the piece of paper you received the last meeting to find the correct room. 
It was slight chaos when you opened the door, unsurprisingly as you now realized who you would be working with for the variety show. Everything was kept top secret until you were approved by HYBE and showed up on the first day, after signing numerous NDA’s of course. 
The BTS boys were having fun and running amuck as they waited for the shoot to start. It was supposed to be just a fun shoot, numerous arcade games set up throughout the room and a table set in the middle where some challenges were going to take place later on. 
You looked around after taking in the room, trying to set eyes on your director. Eventually you find him talking to your fellow creators, going over the different challenges that would be taking place. 
“—After the water bottle challenge, we’re going to move onto the karaoke booth.” You arrive just at the tail end of the run through, but you manage to understand anyways, seeing as you all had a copy of the schedule for the day. 
“Where have you been? Never mind, you’re working on the individual camera today.” Your director questions you but doesn’t give you any time to explain yourself before moving on and assigning you your task. You quickly nod your head, before moving to grab one of the video cameras from the table. 
You would be in charge of taking individual behind the scenes videos and photos for the social media accounts. You had seen episodes of Run BTS before and knew how much moving you would be doing today. 
Again. Running wasn’t your thing. 
“What are you doing?” You turn your head to see a slightly older woman in front of you, her hands on her hips as she looks towards the camera in your hands. 
“I was assigned individual shots today, Ma’am.” You respond as politely as you can, getting bad feelings from the woman in front of you. 
You could almost feel that you would be having problems with her. You tried to be respectful though, not wanting to step on anyone’s toes on your first official day. 
The woman just looked you up and down, her nose crinkling a little before she spoke. “Just don’t get in my way. I’ve been doing this longer than you have and don’t need some inexperienced newbie messing up my photos.” 
You can only nod before she is walking past you, bumping into your shoulder on her way past. 
‘What the heck?’ you think, turning to watch as she steps forward and begins to talk to one of the supervisors who was in the middle of talking to Namjoon. Shaking your head, you move to the edge of the set, close to the basketball arcade shot game. 
You had a good view of the other games from here and felt you could maneuver through the set easier from where you were set up. Bringing your camera up to your eyes, you begin taking some practice shots, making sure the lighting was good and the settings on the camera aligned with what you wanted to photograph.
It took you some time, but eventually you were able to begin taking photos of the boys who had come back to mess around with the games after getting changed and before the actual shoot started. 
You were so focused on the pictures that you didn’t even notice one of the boys moving up to you. 
“Hi! You must be one of the new creators! I’m Taehyung.” The bright eyed man bounced right up to you when he noticed you, hand held in front of you to shake your hand as he introduced himself. 
You put your camera down, smiling softly as you brought your hand to meet his, introducing yourself. As you did, you caught his attention on your wrist, where your soulmark resided. The initials of your soulmate were written in short, quick writing, the gray M and Y staring back up at you since the minute you turned sixteen. 
Taehyung’s smile only seemed to widen once you introduced yourself, a twinkle in his eyes that wasn’t there before. You could barely blink before the director was calling for the boys to get into place; the shoot was about to begin. 
You smile as you watch him bounce away again, his energy levels palpable as you hold your camera up again. 
The next hour was spent moving slowly throughout the edge of the set up game room, trying to get as many good shots as you could. You noticed that Taehyung gravitated towards you and seemed to pull Yoongi with him to play the basketball game, Jungkook following behind to try and battle against the basketball player. 
You moved closer to get a picture of both boys making a basket and scoring a point when someone stepped on your foot causing pain to radiate up your ankle and shin. A gasp leaves your lips as you look towards your left to see the woman from earlier, a glare set on her dark eyes as she almost pushes you aside. 
You end up tripping over the cord to another game and just barely manage to catch yourself on the corner of said game before injuring yourself or ruining the shoot. You were so focused on the pain in your foot you didn’t even notice the burning in your wrist as your soulmark gets darker. 
You didn’t notice the three men witnessing the entire thing, nor the dark looks Taehyung was sending to the older woman. A break was luckily called soon enough and you tried to move away back to the far wall but a hand on your arm stops you.
“What was that? I thought I told you not to get in my way?!” The older woman steps in front of you, her hand still gripping tightly to your forearm. 
“I’m sorry, Ma’am. It won’t happen again.” You grit out as politely as you can, the pain in your ankle making you want to sit down but you knew you needed to just go along with what she was saying, not wanting any trouble. 
“No. Don’t apologize.” You both turn to your right to see Taehyung, Yoongi and Jungkook, all three eyeing the hand gripping onto your forearm. The woman is quick to release you when she realizes what the boys were seeing. 
“Oh boys! Don’t worry about this. I’m just giving some advice to the newbie.” The woman was quick to put on the sweet tone as she speaks to them. You just want to roll your eyes. 
Pulling your arm back to your chest, rubbing against where you knew her grip was going to leave some bruises. Your sleeve had rolled back down and your forearm was on full display, along with your soulmark. 
“Advice? It seemed like you stepped on and pushed someone out of the way. That is not okay nor something we want to see happen between our employees.” Yoongi’s voice was low, each word spoken slowly as if to ensure the woman knew exactly what she had done. 
Jungkook moved to you while Taehyung and Yoongi were talking to the woman, his hand holding onto your own, softly and a huge contrast to the woman as he tilts your forearm around to see the spot where the woman held you.
The skin was red and he knew it would bruise. This was unacceptable and he would make sure that the woman would be reprimanded for her actions. As Jungkook continued to look over your arm, his attention was caught by your soulmark, his hyungs initials on the inside of your wrist. 
‘No wonder Taehyung kept bringing him to where you were…’ Jungkook mused, a small smile on his lips as the thought of Taehyung trying to bring you two together. 
Well, no time like the present. 
Taehyung agreed, as his next words caught the attention of everyone. 
“You hurt Yoongi’s mate.” Your eyes widened as your head turned quickly to see Yoongi already staring at you, your faces both sharing the expression of shock. Jungkook was still holding your wrist, bringing you the two feet until you were right in front of Yoongi. 
You were silent, trying to process everything as Yoongi looked down at your held out wrist, his initials written in his own handwriting. Slowly, he pulled his own sleeve up, showing you his soulmark. 
Your initials were written in your own soft script, smooth cursive showing on his inner wrist, the same spot as your own. 
You were lost in your own world, oblivious to all of the noise and emotions happened outside the two of you. Yoongi slowly brought his hand to your wrist, his thumb rubbing over the top of your soulmark, gray turning to a dark black as the soulbond snaps into place confirming Taehyung’s suspicions. 
“Hello, soulmate.” A gummy smile burns into your retina, a memory you never want to forget as warmth erupts in your soul.
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bubblesuga · 2 years
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As It Was
Summary: When the reader begins to have internal conflict shortly after her son is born about her life, Husband Yoongi is there to tell her there is no shame in getting help
W/C: 2,733
tags: angst, husband!yoongi, mentions of post-partum depression, fluff, psychiatrist!yoongi, nurse!reader
A/N: pain
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"Have a good night!" you call out to your coworkers, taking your hair out of the bun as you walk out of the facility. A few clients sit in the lobby area as you leave, grinning and waving while you wave back with just as wide of a smile.
You love your job more than anything. But sometimes it's... hard. You know the individuals don't mean to do the things they do, they don't have a concept of what they're doing when they swing while you try to give them their medications. Sometimes they know who you are and sometimes they don't. It's scary to live your life day by day surrounded by strangers who are trying to get you to do what they want. They don't understand that you're only encouraging them to do what they need to do. To them, sometimes, you're a big scary monster who has taken them from their families. So, despite the clawing and biting and verbal abuse you go through, you stick it out. They need someone who can be there for them, and if that involves intense nights, so be it. You know what you signed up for.
That doesn't make anything any less hard, though.
As soon as you make it to your car, you let a sob and feel tears drip down your cheek. A client who lives on the third floor of the complex has an intense food aggression and happened to see another client with food. You tried to stop him, but you only ended up covered in the raspberry juice they were fighting over. Your scrubs stick to your torso, your shoes still squeak with liquid, and your brain is at its limit for the night.
Oh how you loathe the evening shift. Sometimes.
Tipping your head back, you collect yourself and wipe your face free of tears. Starting your car, you turn on your headlights and pull out of the parking lot and begin your 20 minute drive home.
It's not long before your phone rings. You lean forward and press 'answer' on the stereo and sit back, staring at the traffic light that seems to be painted red.
"Hello?" you don't get a chance to see who's calling you before you answer.
"Jagiya," your husband's voice sounds throughout the car, making your eyes well up with tears once again, "when will you be home? The baby is asleep already but he kept crying for mama before."
You inhale softly, stopping a sob from escaping your throat, "I'll, uh-" you hiccup, "I'll be home soon. I'll feed tonight so don't worry."
"That's not what I'm worried about," concern laces Yoongi's voice, and there's a brief pause while you step on the gas to accelerate, "how was your day?"
You swallow, "I'll tell you when I'm home."
"Okay," he breathes, "I love you."
"I love you too."
Yoongi hangs up and you twist your neck in an attempt to crack some of the stress away.
You met Yoongi in college, where he was studying Psychology and you were studying Nursing. When you started to lean more towards mental health, your professor suggested you start taking cognitive psychology classes and you found yourself sat right next to Yoongi.
You remember the way he looked that day. He was so quiet, and so focused on what was being taught that you thought he was completely unaware of everyone around him. Glasses sat on the bridge of his nose that reflected the images of the projector right back out, and his black hair sat fluffy on his head. The hoodie he wore looked comfortable, and when you glanced down, he was wearing plaid pajama pants.
His first words to you were ones for the books.
He leaned over to you, still staring forward, and uttered the most beautiful statement you had ever heard in your life.
"You know, discomfort is something everyone has to withstand. The repetition of dramatic events makes life exhausting and I want to know why. What makes our brains itch. I don't like the answer of 'that's just the way people are.' I need a better reason. So, why are you here?"
At the time you had told him that you just wanted to help people. While, yes that was and still is true, the ultimate reason you were there was to find a purpose. Yoongi seemed to have such a curious mind and it baffled you, how a man so bright can have such dark thoughts about the human psyche. Like he wanted to pick apart everyone's brains and find some sort of trigger or reason that humans react the way they do to things, or develop the illnesses they do.
As college went on and you became friends, then started dating, Yoongi's quest to find the darkness in the human mind began to become futile. While he still continued to get his degree, his mind has shifted.
"Who said that we're the animals of purpose?" you remember him saying one night after exams had just ended, "I think we're the animals of regret."
"There is nothing permanent in this world!" he shouted out into the blackened night sky while you tipped back another bottle of beer, "we're all just happenings passing through!"
You laughed it off at the time, but you feel those words on a deeper level now.
The longer you live, the more you begin to agree with him. Despite having a child, you can't help but feel that trigger that Yoongi so desperately tried to find before. Like you went wrong somewhere, and you're not meant to be doing the job you're doing because you're just not strong enough.
Yet, you push through. Not for yourself, but for Yoongi and your son. They are the reason you continue to breathe new air into the world of certain suffering.
Pulling into the driveway, you don't realize how much you had been crying on the way home. You try your hardest to clean yourself up but you see Yoongi peaking out of the living room window, his mouth set in a frown.
"What happened?" he doesn't give you time to take your shoes off before he's at your front, his hands resting gingerly on your shoulders.
Letting out a shaky breath, you shrug, "just having a rough day."
Yoongi glances down and sees the stained blue scrubs, "Let's run you a shower."
The house is dark while he leads you through it, and you're both careful when you pass the baby's room. He's hands haven't left your shoulders, and it's as though he's holding you up. Like you're a fragile piece of glass that could shatter at any moment.
The numbness that follows almost feels intentional. You never understood the need to smoke weed to feel numb, because it's like Yoongi doesn't that for you. You look at him, and you forget. You look at your son, and you forget.
Yoongi turns on the shower once you enter the bathroom and sticks his hand under the water to test the temperature. After he thinks it suffices, he grabs the hem of your shirt and pulls it carefully over your head. You kick off your pants and underwear and Yoongi reaches around you to undo your bra.
He pauses for a moment, studying your face. Tilting his head, his reaches forward and rests his hands on your cheeks.
"I'm going to go get your pajamas. Get in the shower, baby."
The numbness disappears the instant you're in the shower and can't see him. You feel like such a bother, like you do nothing but make him take care of you. Every since you had the baby you feel like there's a thousand bricks resting on your shoulders and while you try to to everything you can, some unknown force continues to build atop your pain. You don't regret anything in your life, and it hurts you to think that you are feeling the emotional turmoil for no reason at all.
You feel yourself sink onto the floor and bring your knees up to your chest. You have everything you could ever want. A loving husband, a gorgeous baby, a big house that the two of you worked your asses off to get. You have food and clothing and shelter and yet your brain is still sad.
The sobs that heave your chest break the glass wall that you had built in the few moments you spent with Yoongi. The water begins to get chillier but you don't make an effort to move.
The shower curtain slides aside and you hear Yoongi's breathing, "Jagiya-" he sounds panicked, "what's going on?"
The crying doesn't stop. You only look up at him and feel the earlier anguish triple. There's that doting husband that you have. Why the fuck are you still so sad?
Yoongi's back straightens and he sets your clothing on the bathroom counter. Then he slips his boxers and shirt off, sliding behind you on the shower floor.
"It's okay," he whispers, bringing you to his chest and allowing you to lay against him while you silently sob, "you're okay."
"I- I'm not though!" you exclaim quietly, "why am I like this? Why am I such a mess?"
Yoongi's heart breaks, the pain of seeing the love of his life like this is unbearable. He feels a weight on his chest while his throat tenses as he holds back tears.
"I don't think you're a mess, sweetheart," he strokes your head lovingly, your body on his calming him enough to talk you through your panic attack, "I think you're human."
You laugh bitterly, "What I'd give to be a fucking cat."
Yoongi chuckles sadly, his hand moving forward and resting gently on your stomach, rubbing gentle circles.
"Do you want to tell me what happened to trigger this?" Yoongi says after a moment of silence, adjusting the temperature of the shower to warm the two of you up once he notices you shivering.
You wipe a tear and feel your chest loosening just a bit. "I'm upset because I'm doing exactly what I want to be doing and I still feel like it's not enough."
"What do you mean?"
You rest your head against Yoongi's shoulder, feeling his cheek against your temple, "I help people for a living. Yet I still get told I'm not enough. That I'm a monster."
"You know they don't mean that," he says, "deep down, beneath all the mesh of illness that clouds their brain, they know you're just helping them."
His skin feels so smooth against yours. You feel him reach upward and grab the shampoo. He massages it gingerly into your scalp.
"Are you therapizing me right now?" you smile for the first time since you arrived home. Yoongi tilts your head back to rinse it free of shampoo, his chest shaking against your back while he chuckles.
"I don't know, is it working?"
You turn back to him and nod, "You have a way with words, my love."
Yoongi's eyes brighten at the pet name, a small blush resting atop his cheeks.
"If you feel as though you can't handle this job, though," he runs his fingers through your hair as he puts in conditioner, "I support you in any decision you make."
"No, I love it," you begin, your mind a bit clearer now that you seemingly cried out your anguish, "I just don't understand why I'm so sad."
"Do you think it's time to get on an antidepressant?"
Sniffling, you think it over for a moment. You've never thought medication was shameful, but it's scary. You've met people who completely changed after starting an antidepressant and you don't want that. You still want to be yourself, just a little happier. A little less... upset all the time.
Yoongi rinses your conditioner out, "There's nothing wrong with taking an antidepressant."
"I'm scared." you admit.
Yoongi nods, pondering for a moment as though he's trying to find the right words to say. He presses a gentle kiss to your temple, "It is scary, I'm not going to lie. But we'll keep trying until we find one that works for you. We might get lucky and find it on the first try, or it may be the fifth, but overall it will help you."
"How do I go about this?"
Yoongi stands up, pulling you with him and turning you to face him, "I'll call my Prescriptionist on Monday. I'll also get you in to see one of my colleagues if you'd like. I want you to know there are options for psychiatrists. Not just your husband."
You feel scared again, because it's starting to feel real. You're actually going to get help. This is going to happen.
"What do you think I have?" you question.
Taking a deep breath, he speaks, "I don't want to diagnose you."
"Don't think of a diagnosis," you encourage, "think of it as a theory."
He looks suspicious, torn between telling you. Yet, you know that he knows what's wrong. "Depression. Like me."
You nod, feeling him turn off the water and wrap a towel around you to start drying you off.
"I think you are the most amazing wife, mother, person that I have ever met in my entire life," Yoongi says as he helps you out of the shower and hands you your underwear, "and I want you to know that I will be here to help you through any issues you may have. When I married you, I promised to be with you through sickness and health. Now is the sickness, and I'll be here. Until the very end."
You smile, your eyes brightening, "What did I do to deserve such an amazing family?"
Yoongi shrugs, "What did I do to deserve you? We must be doing something right."
With a giggle, you lean up and give your husband a deep kiss. He returns it, grabbing your waist and pulling you close to him. You feel his legs open your thighs as though he can't get close enough to you. Even though you're practically on top of him, he needs more. He always needs more.
Breaking the kiss, you see his swollen lips turn up into a smile, "Let's get some sleep, baby. You deserve it."
~*~*~
You wake at 6 in the morning.
Your head hurts from the crying of last night so you glance to your bedside table. Already, there's a glass of water and a bottle of tylenol.
You take the medication gratefully, pulling yourself out of bed and heading straight to your baby's room. When you enter, you see Yoongi laying back on the rocking chair with your son laying on Yoongi's chest.
You lean against the doorway, your two boys sleeping peacefully in front of you. A smile breaks across your face because, who are you kidding? What harm could getting help do?
If there's anything you want to do for your family, it's be the best you can be. If that means getting help, then so be it. Your family is your top priority, and Yoongi slapped you back to reality last night.
As the baby begins to stir, you step forward and take him from your husband's arms. Yoongi wakes the moment he feels his baby's warmth leave him, squinting up at you while you rock your baby gently.
"How are you doing?" he questions, his voice laced with exhaustion that you can't help but feel bad about. You know you partly caused that.
"I'm wonderful, baby." you smile, hearing your son coo gently. You glance down at your baby as Yoongi stands, wrapping his arms around both of you and swaying you both gently.
"I love you both," you whisper, "I promise I'll be okay."
"I know you will be," Yoongi responds, his hand brushing back the hair on your son's head, "not only for us but also for yourself."
You lean forward and press a kiss to his lips, pulling away and resting your forehead against his.
"'Till death do us part, my love." you say.
Yoongi smiles, "and when we're old and grey and watching our grandkids play in the yard, I hope you look back at moments like these with fondness."
"I will," you say, the butterflies of Yoongi picturing your future together swarming in your tummy, "I hope you do to."
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jjkilll · 3 months
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JJK RECS II
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thank you for all the support on my first rec!! so let me show you some more!!
white lies - @noteguk
honestly one of my fav pics on this app.
2. brother's best friend - @lavishedinjimin
oh em gee this fic is so amazing and this pairing is just too good.
3. new girl - @jjkeverlast
new girl is the best show ever so I love this fic, jk is very nick coded.
4. risqué - @mercurygguk
this fic is insane and reading it for the first time made me want to live it actually.
5. addicted - @sparklingchim
im addicted to jungkook too. (real)
6. seven days - @jvngkoos
I love this fic, its pure filth BUT I love it and it has a pt2 linked within :)
7. and my man, thank you to my man - @darklingjeon
sugar daddy jungkook always makes me weak in the knees, ive read a fic like this for jin (sugar - @wwilloww), its too cool too.
+ pt iii
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