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qierxing · 7 months

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A/N: An interpreted continuation of @shiny-jr wonderful fic. (checks calendar) Uhm, happy three month update to this series AND 1k notes on the first part! I would say sorry for the wait, but I really did need it LOL. Anyway, it's not super obvious, but the timeline is a bit all over the place in this part, because I'm jumping back and forth between past and present.

TW/CW: Immolation, violence, implied stalking+actual stalking, obsessive behavior, mild psychological and body horror, toxic relationships, Yuu uses it/its pronouns, we get a little meta in here, the boys are FIGHTINGGG I. II. | Isekai AU | Yan! Heartslabyul x Reader

“Who are you?” said the Caterpillar.

This was not an encouraging opening for a conversation. Alice replied, rather shyly, “I—I hardly know, Sir, just at present—at least I know who I was when I got up this morning, but I think I must have been changed several times since then.”

“What do you mean by that?” said the Caterpillar, sternly. “Explain yourself!”

“I ca’n’t explain myself, I’m afraid, Sir,” said Alice, “because I am not myself, you see.”

— Alice's Adventures in Wonderland, by Lewis Caroll

vi. Mourning

It is incredibly hard to get Yuu alone.

Whether it be by the forces of fate or just because so many vie for their attention, there is rarely, if ever, any time when someone is able to spend time personally alongside them. The only exception to this rule is Grim, who was practically the player's companion from the beginning.

So when Ace Trappola manages a rare chance to snag some one on one time with Yuu, he guns for it. Course, he had to time it perfectly.

It was just another night like any other. Ace and Deuce decided to come over to hang out for a casual sleepover as usual. The four of them did initially start out studying, before the textbooks and worksheets were being abandoned in favor of more exciting things, such as the deck of cards that Ace brought with him.

Sending Deuce and Grim off to get snacks through a won bet over a card game was easy as pie.

"Hey Ace?"

He hums in response, letting Yuu know he's listening. His nimble fingers shuffle the worn cards, flipping through them with practiced ease. Stacking them up quickly, he wonders if he should try to impress Yuu with another card trick to gain their enthralled praise.

"Do you…like…being my friend?"

The question makes him blink and look up in surprise at Yuu. It feels blasphemous to hear such doubt lingering in their words.

"Why? Scared I'm gonna ditch ya?" He teases.

Yuu doesn't respond, only giving a sheepish smile back.

"I-It's not like I don't like being friends with you." He tries to keep his cool. "I just-"

Yuu's smile doesn't falter. "It's okay, Ace."

He's reminded of his previous girlfriend in middle school. It was more of a fling than a serious thing, but it's something he remembers vividly. Their breakup, after all, was rather dramatic.

"You're too much, Ace. Sometimes you just take it too far."

What was even her name? Elizabeth? He could barely even remember, but for some reason, he still recalls the intense way her face was twisted in burning resentment. He tried to bury it in the past. He swore he would never fall in love or get into another relationship, preferring friendships over any kind of romantic trysts.

Now that he looks at Yuu, he already knows he's screwed up big time.

Yuu's gaze is no longer meeting his, instead staring into the fireplace that Grim had so generously set up earlier. The crackling blue flames reflect in their irises and in that moment, dread curls inside Ace's stomach. Yuu doesn't seem right.

"Hey…you okay?" He asks hesitantly, placing a hand on their shoulder.

Yuu doesn't move, still staring at the fire intently. He opens his mouth to ask again, but then they speak.

"If I wasn't acting like myself, would you still like me?"

Another question out of left field.

"Even if you somehow grow anemones on your head, Yuu's still Yuu, right?" His heart swells in pride at the way their lips quirk at his inside joke.

"Yeah…" they murmur back.

"Wanna see somethin' cool?" he says, holding out a card. Yuu tilts their head questioningly.

"It's the ace of hearts. What about it?"

"It's not just the ace of hearts!" Ace puffs out his cheeks. "Don't you know the meaning of this card?"

Yuu shakes their head.

"It means good news for yourself or someone close. Practically a lucky charm!" Ace waggles his eyebrows suggestively. "So how can things go wrong now that you have me?"

Yuu snorts and shoves him playfully. "Yeah, yeah, okay, Mr. Lucky Charm."

But it works. The foggy clouds clear from Yuu's eyes, finally returning them to the familiar luster he's used to. For the rest of the night, there is no hint of hollowness within them. And Ace hopes he will never see that sight again.

He should've known something was up since that night.

When Headmaster Crowley personally makes an appearance at their dorm, he should've realized it then. If there was anything that the old raven hated more, it was having to do more work than usual.

"That person wasn't an imposter." Crowley says, coughing awkwardly into his fist.

The solemn words echo in his head on end. The rest of the Headmaster's words start to tune out for Ace. Automatically, his legs begin to move on their own. The calls of the others chase after him, but he ignores them, racing out of the lounge and towards the mirror portal.

Because if you didn't hurt Yuu-

-then what had he done?

When he first arrived in NRC, he didn't even know that Ramshackle dorm existed. Not until Yuu came to reside there; until he had to beg for shelter from them when he was chained with that damn collar. He knew that they didn't have to take him in. But they did, and maybe that's why Ace couldn't turn his back after that.

The building before him is no longer the broken down hovel that he remembers back then. He remembers how the roof was almost caving in and wooden beams were always in danger of collapsing. Each knock on the entrance doors would send cascades of dust upon his head. Now, the walls are painted with a fresh coat of paint, the roof has new shingles, and the place actually looks like a house you could safely live in.

Bang! Bang! Bang!

"Prefect! Are you there?!" He yells, desperation leaking into his voice. "Please!"

Bang! Bang!

He's gotta be out of his damn mind, acting like some crazy person. But he can't help but be blinded by his fear. So he keeps hitting the door with his fists, praying, hoping, for…well that someone would open the door.

Bang! Bang! Bang!

"Yuu!!" He screams, and his voice echoes around him, mocking his helplessness. His fists are becoming numb from slamming the wood so hard, but he can't stop himself.

"Yuu–!"

"Oi! Ace!!!" A rough hand on his shoulder shoves him back and before he could knock the souvnabit-

"Ace, look at me!"

He's stopped by Deuce's fists meeting his in an even match of strength. Like an illusion broken, Ace stills and yanks his hands back.

There's only heavy breathing in between them for a long while.

"...they're not here." Ace snaps to look at Deuce, who only closes his eyes in a painful grimace.

"What do you mean, 'not here'?" Ace asks.

Deuce doesn't say anything for a beat.

"What do you mean they're–"

"They're in the infirmary." Deuce's words flow out in a breathless rush. "The Headmaster said that after you ran."

Fuck, he just acted like an idiot then. No wonder no one was responding to his absolute earth shattering door banging and yelling. Then the meaning of Deuce's words begin to sink in. Oh Seven, no–

He turns and before he could even step in the direction of the main building, his arm is yanked back.

He snarls at Deuce. "Let me go! I have to see the prefect!"

"Housewarden is calling you back." Deuce forces out through gritted teeth and closed eyes. "The Headmaster said that…they don't want to see anyone."

And like a fire put out, Ace's anger chokes to flickering embers.

He lets Deuce guide him back, all the way from the Ramshackle dorm, to the mirror portal, and then back to Heartslabyul's lounge where the other three are grimly awaiting them.

Ace half expects to be yelled at once he passes the threshold. Or get some kind of lecture on how he should have better manners than to just run off like that. It would've been just like his housewarden to only care about weird, arbitrary rules when there were other arguably more important matters.

But his housewarden sits silently on his gilded velvet throne with glassy eyes. There's no anger burning behind them, and the freshmen are terrified to see their once proud and fearsome queen reduced to this husk. He almost would rather him back to the state where he was barking out orders for them. The silence in the lounge is deafening.

Ace swears they must be all thinking the same thing.

Please let this be a bad dream.

He tried calling you. Texting you. Hell, he even tried messaging you on Magicam! Magicam, of all things!

Anxiety claws at his heart with each unread message and dial voice tone greeting. He has so much to say, to ask for-

Deuce wasn't faring well on his side either. He had also tried calling and texting you, to no avail. Grim, that traitor, hadn't come back to visit Heartslabyul at all since the incident. Never mind the fact he had only himself to blame for that—he thought at the very least the cat direbeast would have some sense of pity for their friendship and throw them a bone.

Ace tried two more times to meet you.

First, during your infirmary stay, when you were still unconscious.

The second time was when you returned to Ramshackle dorm with Grim.

Maybe the Seven were punishing him for his hubris. Or he supposes this is just karma. Because both times, he fails spectacularly at the front door of Heartslabyul. Because of this, he's the reason why Riddle had put them all on house arrest (with the exception of academic reasons, of course).

It's a declaration that would've been met with mutiny from all of them, if it weren't for the fact that even Headmaster Crowley had explicitly forbade anyone from showing up on Ramshackle's doorstep or trying to meet you. So he understands. Really! He does. He's seen how Riddle holes up in his room, muttering to himself while carrying out boxes upon boxes of crumpled paper. When he manages to snag a stray paper that flutters out on garbage day, Ace realizes that Riddle is also just as frenzied trying to reach out to you. Even if he is going about it in an old fashioned way.

He'll chip in to help. If his housewarden is left to his own devices, they’ll all be fossils by the time he sends what he deems a satisfactory letter.

And the faster they do this, the faster they have a chance of reaching you.

vii. Embalming

The most horrifying thing is that it doesn't seem to care about dying.

That cursed pile of ceramic shards had disappeared—no, pieced itself back together—and once again, it became the smiling face of Yuu, the being they all knew and used to adore.

Riddle Rosehearts immediately smashed it to pieces again under the weight of his magic.

No one had tried to stop their housewarden. Not even the faceless mobs. Even if they were all alarmed at the erratic behavior of their housewarden, they could not deny the fear of seeing something dead come back alive. With not so much as a dent or wound in them, for that matter.

The third time it happened, Riddle ordered for the remains to be dumped into the school’s incinerator at the highest heat level. Surely, that would be enough.

He watched as the incinerator roared and shuddered, shaking as if the pits of hell had opened. After a few agonizing minutes, the rumbling stops, and before he can even breathe a sigh of relief, the iron hatches creak open, and out strolls Yuu, perfectly fine and pieced together again.

It's magic. Or some kind of century old curse. Of course it is. After all, it was at a higher power than even Draconia's comprehension. Why he didn't consider the possibility beforehand is something he berates himself now.

What might be the most damning thing is that it has no fear or suspicion in its face; even after the multiple times it’s been maimed and torn apart. Not like you, who immediately closed themselves off at being hurt so thoroughly.

The irony isn't lost on him. The temptation of letting the puppet take its place back in favor of just bringing everything back to how it was is something Riddle could not deny. But now that he's actually met you, Yuu just seems more of a shadow of what he remembers during your interactions together.

It has your face. It acts like you.

But it's not you.

When Ace asks after the commotion at the Unbirthday party on how he was able to figure out that it wasn’t [First], he had to take a moment to gather his thoughts. Ace’s face changes into something of disbelief when Riddle merely replies with: “[First] takes their tea with two sugars and a dash of milk.”

“You were so sure only because of that?”

He doesn’t want to think what Ace’s face would look like if he had explained his whole list of reasons how he realized that the puppet wasn’t you. How he soaked up as much as he could when you came over for the tea party. Your expressions, your little habits, the way you fidget…it was all filed away in Riddle's head and later, his private notebook.

But that doesn’t matter now. Now, there’s an even bigger problem than the puppet resurrecting itself.

Grim is missing again.

This alone should've been more worrying than anything for Yuu, but it merely shrugs and says it’s not sure where he scampered off to. He's more than suspicious, of course, but there is no proof, which is infuriating already.

But without Grim, they are missing the key to finding [First].

The others raise hell once they hear the news Riddle reports at the weekly housewarden meeting. A new wave of tension washes over NRC and with it, an unprecedented deep disdain for the puppet. It returns back to classes unannounced, making Ace and Deuce rant to him about how weird it is that it’s trying so hard to act like nothing had happened. It attends school events with their camera, drumming up conversations like normal between all of them; despite the fact it gets ignorance or violence in response (depending on the person it greets).

But none of them are really sure on how to interact with Yuu.

The nicer ones, like Trey or Deuce, entertain Yuu with frigidly civil responses, in hopes of boring the puppet and making it flit away to another victim. Meanwhile, he and Ace have finally come together on an agreed opinion: that they would rather die before letting the puppet even think it could take [First]’s place.

“Go away.”

Yuu merely smiles in response to Riddle’s annoyed voice. The puppet leisurely lounges in the chair across the table from him. The school library is vast but empty, his authoritative voice echoing down the long halls. Several floating books flit past above their heads and the chandeliers above flicker with bright candlelight.

“I just wanted to keep you company.” Riddle purses his mouth in disgust. It’s invasive, it’s gross, and most of all it feels wrong to hear those words coming from Yuu.

“I didn’t ask for your company,” he replies coldly. “Shouldn’t you know that it’s bad manners to bother someone who wants to be left alone?”

“I don’t think you like being left alone, Riddle.” He flinches at the way Yuu’s eyes bore into him. “Well, then again, you sure like to pretend you’re fine, don’t you?”

His hand tightens around the textbook he’s reading about cursed dolls. There would be no point if he brought out his magical pen and reduced it to rubble. But he is tempted, if only to get some peace and quiet for just a few minutes.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.” Riddle says.

“Hmm…” Yuu hums into its hand, “...then I suppose I will just let you be. What a shame, I had something entertaining to tell.”

“What? What do you mean?”

Yuu giggles and waves him off. “No, no! You said you didn’t want my company now. Why should I tell you anything?”

He resists the urge to incinerate the book in his hands. “Fine! I would like your company. What is this ‘entertaining’ thing you want to tell me so badly?”

“Hmm…how insincere,” Yuu tilts its head coyly with a smile more akin to a smirk. “But I guess that’s the most I can get.”

“Since you’ve all been driving yourselves crazy, [First] is safe.” The floor feels like it’s been yanked underneath him. The puppet is smiling still, as if it’s all some big joke rather than the revelation it delivered. He can hear his blood roaring through his ears.

“You…” Riddle snarls, face heating into a bright red rage. “What did you do to them?”

It bursts into laughter at his face.

“Why, I only granted their wish!”

Its laughter is cut short by the sound of ceramic being crushed, and Riddle is left shakily breathing at the pile of shards that used to be Yuu. The puppet’s words churn over and over in his head.

What did you wish for?

It is currently 3:20 on a Wednesday afternoon.

In his planner, the bullet point neatly penned on the schedule shows ‘Studying for History Test’ in bold blue ink for the time slot. ‘History of the Queendom of Roses’ is laid open on his desk, to the chapter about the local mythos of the area, just as he intended. His notes from lecture are next to it, with several of his stationary needed to jot down annotations.

And yet, Riddle has yet to touch any of these items or actually adhere to his daily schedule—he’s too distracted by what he should do in order to reach the player.

Riddle's already embarrassed enough, resorting to handwritten letters with the best calligraphy he can muster. He's sent only a couple that passed his satisfaction, and they have all been met with judgemental silence. He’s hunched over another crumpled letter near ripping his hair out when someone knocks on his bedroom door. He quickly shoves the envelope under some textbooks out of frantic instinct.

“Come in.”

A familiar bob of red orange hair pops out behind his door, and Riddle raises an eyebrow at the underclassman who enters.

“Ace? What is it?” Normally, Ace would never be in his room if he could help it. If he was in Riddle’s room, it most likely meant he was either being scolded or punished. And Ace’s eyes are shifting side to side, as if he was trying to sneak his way in.

“Out with it, Ace.” He’s not in the mood for the underclassman’s shenanigans.

“Housewarden, you’re writing letters to the prefect, aren’t ya?” The question completely takes him off-guard sputtering.

“W-What does t-that have to do with you?” He tries to maintain his composure, but Ace is already giving him a smug smirk for the one up on him. Of all people, it had to be him finding out.

"I had an idea, Housewarden. Why don't we send them something with the letter?" Riddle blinks in surprise.

“...How smart of you for once, Ace.” It was so simple, yet he marvels at the idea's brilliance. Perhaps there was merit in trying this proposal.

“Hey! What the hell does that mean?!” His underclassman snaps back in a huff. “Whatever, point being, maybe we should switch it up instead of letters all the time.”

He crosses his arms, “And what do you suggest? There’s not much we can really send that hasn't been sent already by other dorms.”

Ace winces. Clearly he didn’t think about the other dorms with more affluent people; people who had more than enough thaumarks and prestige to spend it to appeal to you. Riddle can't blame him either: although he is at the top of the school and his parents are well known mages, it's not like any of that could help him here. All of them, in a sense, were stuck in that situation.

For once, he starts to resent not having more.

"Ugh, well…maybe it doesn't need to be so fancy, you know?" Ace rubs his neck, face scrunched in frustration. "Like…uh…you know-flowers! People send flowers all the time, yeah?"

This is true. And for Queendom of Roses’ residents, it has become custom to send bouquets with subtle messages left in petals and stems. Although he is a bit loath to admit that he isn’t as well versed in the language of flowers compared to hedgehogs.

"And what do you recommend, Ace?" He asks. "What would be the best flower to send to the prefect in our circumstance?"

"We got all these roses, why not send them that?" Ace responds, as if it's the most obvious thing in the world. Riddle coughs in annoyance.

"Why not just procure some from Sam's shop? Today is Wednesday. Do you not remember rule 228?" He chides. Ace groans, rolling his eyes.

"Not the weird rules again…"

"Ace."

"Yeeesss Housewarden…" The card soldier mock salutes with a deadpan expression. "I'll see if we can get some flowers at Sam's."

"You better, or else it's–"

"-off with my head, I got it, I got it." Riddle seethes as Ace cuts him off and dashes out of his room before he could get another word in. So troublesome…

Still, there's nothing to do except wait for his card soldier to report back. He turns back to his desk, bringing out the crumpled letter from its hiding place. Running a hand over the crumpled pages, he attempts to pick up his pen again, but fails as his thoughts begin to wander.

Riddle only manages to pen a couple legible sentences when his door slams open, banging against the wall. He almost falls out of his chair in shock from the loud noise. How was Ace back so quickly?

"Have you not heard of knocking?!" He scowls, turning around to see Ace panting and sweating as if he had run a marathon.

"Never mind that, Housewarden, I saw them!" Ace shouts.

“What are you jabbering…” Riddle trails off in realization. “You better not be horsing around, Ace.”

“Do you think I would lie to you about this?” Ace retorts frantically. “I saw them at Sam’s shop working the cashier!”

For a moment, his mind races with this information. If you were working at Sam’s shop, it would explain why you weren’t showing up to classes, let alone in the hallways or rooms of NRC. It’s a clever ruse—classes may be over during this time of day, but nearly all of them were participating in mandatory club activities or study labs. No wonder no one else has caught on to this. Riddle rubs his chin in thought, settling back in his chair.

“What are you going to do now, Housewarden Riddle?” Ace asks hesitantly. His eyes are filled with some kind of anticipation and hope, no doubt wondering if he could get some leeway in his own agenda. Normally, he would go right away as there was no need to hesitate about these kinds of things.

But. Crowley’s stern announcement comes back to his mind and guilt starts to creep in.

“First, we’ll go with your idea, Ace.” He responds. “The ban hasn’t been lifted, after all.” Ace opens his mouth to protest, but he holds a hand up to interrupt him.

“But if that doesn’t work, then I’m sure even Crowley can’t say anything about coincidences.”

viii. Calling Hours

“I’m not joking around, you two.”

There’s very few times that the vice housewarden of Heartslabyul gets truly mad. His patience seems boundless, honed by years of taking care of younger siblings at home and then dealing with rowdy underclassmen in NRC. But even his saint-like patience could only stretch so far.

“I told you, we didn’t do it!” Ace scowls with furrowed eyebrows and crossed arms. Meanwhile, Deuce is silent by his side, face twisted with conflicting emotions. “You don’t even have proof! You just singled us out just because!”

“Who else was around the kitchen when I left it?” Trey asks, voice starting to rise in anger. “Did you think I wouldn’t notice you two lurking around before?”

The two freshmen began to speak out, voices rambling over each other and cascading into a loud shouting match that was barely intelligible.

“We just wanted to see if we could get something from the fridge, how were we supposed to know someone would-”

“Me and Ace just wanted to bring something along when we deliver the Housewarden’s invitation to-”

"You dumbass, don't just say that out loud-!"

It’s at this moment that Cater Diamond strolls in, takes one look at the mess of the situation and does a 180 back round to the door. But it’s too late, because the interruption is just enough for Ace to sink his hooks into him.

“Cater-senpai, you believe us, right?” Ace shouts after the orange head, making him flinch in place. “You saw us get the order from Housewarden Riddle!”

Cater turns around slowly like a door on rusty hinges, with an expression that screams of not wanting to be involved. "Oh Acey! Uhm, you mean the letter Riddle gave you two-"

"Yes!" Deuce interrupts in earnest, already trying to barrel his way to proving his innocence. "Housewarden Riddle entrusted us to deliver the tea party invitation ourselves personally."

Cater turns to Trey, who is rubbing the bridge of his nose, eyes closed with a tiredness that seems comically reminiscent of an old man. "Well, I'm not sure what this is all about, Trey, but maybe you should cut 'em some slack and let it go."

The other senior nods in reluctant agreement and the two freshmen all but nearly trample over each other trying to run from the tension filled room. But they're stopped in their tracks when Trey calls out again.

"Wait, you two." The duo slowly looks back with cautious eyes.

"You wanted to bring something to the prefect, didn't you?" Trey tilts his head to one of the many strange topsy turvey cabinets in the kitchen. "I have some leftover cookies that I made yesterday. Take them. I'm sorry for accusing you guys like that."

Ace and Deuce exchange confused glances, and although Ace looks away in denial, Deuce nods in gratitude. They leave the kitchen just as chaotically, this time with the aroma of lavender following them.

A brief silence follows their absence, while Cater raises an eyebrow at Trey.

"Sooo…care to spill the tea?"

"Don't even start." Trey groans.

Cater seats himself on one of the stools near the counter, waiting. Trey busies himself with cleaning the stoves and counter, trying not to meet Cater's eyes. Silence falls, but it's with none of the comfort that Cater is familiar with. Giving up, he turns to his phone, refreshing his Magicam dash mindlessly. This continues for a good while until finally—

A low sigh, then– "Somebody took my candied violets."

Cater looks up from his phone. Another beat passes, and he realizes it's not a passing statement.

"It's not like you to get this bent out of shape over your ingredients going MIA." Cater shifts his face onto the elbow meeting pristine marble while shoving his phone away. "You sure that one of the froshes didn't just end up taking them thinking they were for everyone?"

Trey lets out a rough guffaw. "You know better than I do that the others don't touch our stuff."

Cater taps his fingers on the polished white granite, hands already itching to grab his phone and check for updates, but he restrains himself. "That's…mostly true."

"That can only mean one of you guys has taken it." The hairs on Cater's neck raise at Trey's tone.

"Hey now," Cater grins, raising his hands in mock surrender, "you heard it from those two. I was with Riddle when he gave them that invitation."

"I know." Cater's fingers twitch as Trey carelessly tossed aside the rag used to clean the counter into a bucket. The soggy fabric makes a hollow sound against the wood, echoing rather loudly in contrast. "But Riddle would never do such a thing either."

Cater resists the urge to roll his eyes. It's true that their cute housewarden would hardly dare to stoop to thievery, but Trey's blind faith in him can be annoying at times. After all, didn't their little teapot tyrant threaten to kill the prefect at one point?

He supposes that was his fault, though.

"Then it's back to square one." Cater shrugs. "Besides, what were you even planning to do with them if you weren't gonna eat it?"

The baker runs a hand through his mussed forest green hair and frowns. "I was going to bake a cake with them as a peace offering to the prefect."

Cater's mouth forms an 'o' shape in realization. "That's pretty big brain."

"Yeah, but look how that turned out."

"It's fine~you were able to at least send cookies this time round." Cater finally cracks, digging into his pocket for the familiar grooves of his phone case. "All's well that ends well, right?"

Trey doesn't respond and Cater is too engrossed in his phone to look up to see his expression. He slides off the stool naturally, tapping through recent posts and comments, eyes laser focused on recent posts on his dash.

"Cater."

There it is. It's the most recent story reel by Ace(according to the time stamp, about two minutes ago). It's an inconspicuous black out picture with several cute teapot and teacup stickers decorating the screen. The banner message is short and sweet: 'Dorm tea party bout to get real this month 🤔😶'

"Cater." Cater's attention snaps back and towards his friend, who gazes at him with dark eyes.

"Please don't lie to me next time."

With that, Cater watches as his long time friend finally leaves the kitchen.

Thank the Seven he did. He might have been a decent actor, but Trey has been with him through thick and thin, and it's given him the annoying ability to see through his tells.

Really now. Trey knows that he hates sweets. Shouldn't that be enough of an alibi?

It's not fair that Trey already has everything to set him up for a good relationship with you. Even if they're all set back by their violent reaction to you arriving in this world, he's sure it would only take a couple tries with Trey offering genuine heartfelt food to get to you.

It's just not fair.

Isn't he fun to hang out with? He consistently gets compliments online for his suave looks and easy personality. So why couldn't he compare to-

He shakes his head. There's no point in overthinking it now. Cay Cay #3 had easily taken the cutely decorated jar of violets and discarded it in the dorm dumpster. Like candy from a baby.

He knows it's petty. But for once, he feels much better, knowing that he upset Trey's original plans to ensnare you.

Now, he once again checks Ace's story reel and screenshots it, while quickly pulling up the search bar. He just needs to level the playing field.

There can only be one fake bitch in this house and Cater has had enough of the competition.

“I wasn’t aware that you were going to visit me, Cater.”

The puppet tilts its head with a warm smile, but there’s a frosty undercurrent to the greeting. It’s clear that he’s not welcome, if the way it’s blocking the doorway of Ramshackle has anything to say.

“Yeah, I ended up losing something here. You mind if I look for it, Yuu-chan?” Cater asks innocently. “Promise it won’t take too long.”

“Hm, sure. But I don’t think you’ll find what you’re looking for.” Yuu's grin is sharp as a razor blade. It knows what he’s here for and it’s definitely taunting him. That little–

“Well, it doesn’t hurt to look~” He responds back airily. His fist curls around his phone in his pocket tightly. The puppet shrugs and walks off, leaving him standing in the doorway.

It’s been a while since he’s personally been at Ramshackle dorm. Cater remembers how Ace complained about the house being a real fixer upper, but then again, he doesn’t remember much of that, since Yuu always spent most of the time at Heartslabyul dorm. The renovations certainly made it much more pleasing to the eye and more importantly, livable by HOA standards.

There’s nothing to write home about the living room. The coffee table is bare and there’s no wrinkles in the sofa cushions at all. It’s a little eerie—as if no one even lived in the house in the first place. The only sign of living was perhaps the fact it is clean of dust or dirt.

Nothing in the kitchen either. He gives a wayward glance to the second floor, searching for any signs of movement. Couldn’t hurt to be thorough.

Rows of tall doors pass by as Cater opens each one of them. A storage closet, a spare room, an electric cabinet, another storage area–it all blurs by after the fourth door. There really is nothing, as if the whole house has been wiped of any trace of you. He's about to toss in the towel when an old, dusty memory crops up. His little freshman, Ace. Cater swears he had been making fun of Yuu for seeing strange things at night. Something about a mouse?

Right, their room! Why didn't he think of looking there?

His feet take him rapidly from memory to the door that was the third from last in the hallway in the east wing. He manages to wrench the door open to see a regular bedroom, bed sheets barely stirred. Before he can even put one foot in, a throat clears behind him.

"It's rather rude to go into other people's bedrooms, don't you think?"

You got to be kidding me. Cater turns around with the fakest smile plastered across his face. Yuu looks unamused, tapping its foot impatiently against the wooden floorboards.

"Just wanted to make sure, y'know?" Cater replies. Yuu gives a tight smile back. It goes around him and shuts the door with a hard thunk.

"Ever heard about how curiosity killed the cat?"

Cater shakes his head in surrender, "I guess I need to look elsewhere for my lost item."

The entrance doors slam shut behind him hard enough to startle several birds out the dead trees in the yard. Cater doesn't bother giving a look back as he strides out of the yard and past the gated fence surrounding the property. That glimpse was enough and much more. Cater smirks to himself, taking his phone out and sending a quick text message to the group chat. Yes, curiosity may have killed the poor kitty cat…

But satisfaction brought it back.

viiii. Eulogy

It might surprise people to know that Trey Clover's first real friend is Che'nya Pinker.

That's not to say that Trey had trouble getting along with others as a kid, oh no. Everyone in his neighborhood agreed that he was a very sweet boy, who looked out for others around him. When he wasn’t taking care of his baby sister, he would be asked by other parents around the block to look after their own children, whether that be playing soccer games with the more energetic kids or patty cakes with the quiet ones. So it isn’t a stretch to say that he’s friends with nearly everyone. But Che’nya was a special case.

Their first meeting is still burned into Trey’s memory.

“You see it too, don’cha?” The boy had greeted him while swinging upside down on a low hanging tree branch. Trey had half a mind to scold him for the dangerous action before he actually looked at him.

The first thing that takes Trey off guard is that he has eyes. They’re a shiny yellow, just a shade lighter than his. His pupils are long and thin, not round like his at all. He supposes it must be like a cat’s pupils—for he’s never seen anything like it. Then it’s his unique colorful hair, streaks of light pink intermingling with dark purple, making a strange striped pattern across the chopped uneven hair. Trey faintly recalls a certain cat from their local legends, whose fur boasted those very same colors.

“...What are you talking about?” Trey eyes him warily. The cat boy gives a cheeky grin. He vanishes and then reappears in front of him, albeit with missing arms.

“The people around us who wear the faces of strangers.” Trey’s skin gets goosebumps at the way the boy observes him. He is not looking through Trey, but at him. Their eyes are directly making contact. “But you’re different. You have the face of a friend.”

“And what do you mean by that?” Trey furrows his eyebrows. The boy's grin stretches wider in response. (His teeth were rather blunter than expected, but his canines were pointed.)

“You’re strange. I’m stranger. Together, we can both be strange,” the cat boy chirps back lightheartedly. “The name’s Artemiy Artemiyevich Pinker. But you can just call me Che’nya.”

Something in his mind had clicked then. It’s hard to explain the feeling–just that it felt like a puzzle piece put into place. He hadn’t known it then, but at that point, the hands of fate had moved.

Whatever the case may be, Trey was grateful to have Che’nya. Because now he knows that he isn’t crazy; not when he couldn’t see his parent’s faces nor his baby sister’s or even his other friends'. Che’nya too, only shrugs his shoulders when Trey asks him about his grandfather.

“The old man? Yeah, they say I have his eyes, but I wouldn’t know.” The statement is so casually delivered that Trey can hardly believe he’s talking about his only living relative and guardian. “His face does not mirror mine in my mind.”

Staring down at you, shivering with cold and hunger, he feels something churn in him again, just like that fateful day.

He has his orders from Riddle: bring in the imposter alive. Trey isn’t a violent sort and nor does he enjoy boasting his strength over others like a sadist. And he cannot deny the feeling of cold rage that day when Yuu shuts down, fear inundating him that he may never, ever, get an explanation for the world he was born in. Why he and Che’nya were special, why he had to witness Riddle suffer under his mother–what was it all for?

Your face. There is no blank stretched skin—he can see your wide open eyes, bloodshot and fixated on him. Your mouth too, shaped in a pained grimace, lips bruised and bloodied from previous skirmishes. Surely, surely, there must be a reason why you were here. Why you bear the same face as Yuu. You hold all the answers, if you would just cooperate.

“Hey, I’m not gonna hurt you,” Trey tries reaching out, but you scurry back into the hedges, squinted eyes wary and untrusting. You remind him of a frightened hedgehog, prickly spines bristled and body curled in to protect yourself. “I just wanna talk.”

“Go away, please,” the imposter quietly pleads. “Just pretend you never saw me! I swear I didn’t even know how I got here…”

Trey swallows hard.

“Just come quietly. Please.” He is the one begging now. “It’ll be easier for all of us.”

“For who?” The imposter barks a sharp laugh. Trey doesn't miss the way they wince in pain from their wounds. “For me? Or for you?”

He doesn’t have an answer. The sound of running footsteps has him turning, and when he looks back, you’re already gone. The only traces that you were there at all were faint splotches of red blood and crushed grass.

Trey wonders if this, too, was meant to be fate.

—

Trey’s been lovingly dubbed as someone reliable. Some consider him to be an older brother figure due to his nagging and supportive care. It's ingrained in him at this point from the years he’s spent playing babysitter. Trey knows the students around him are not his younger siblings who need constant watching (although their actions say otherwise).

But he worries.

Just a bit. Trey knows better than anyone that you can take care of yourself just fine. He's seen how you carry yourself within those hedges.

It's just that, he doesn't know if you're okay right now. How could he know? You've been silent even in the face of Riddle's unceasing letters. So of course he's just a bit unsure if you're actually okay, or if you don't trust them enough to say so.

Trey finds himself more frustrated with the ban they're under. Not because of the inability to see you, although that is part of it. No, it's because Riddle has managed to skirt around that rule to desperately grab onto you, and that was just enough to wear you down.

He thinks if he was bold enough, he could've tried.

As if it wasn't enough, even Ace and Deuce find their own way to get to you, snatching up the chance to deliver the monthly tea party invitation. It takes everything in Trey to clench his teeth and let go—even when Cater ruins his plans. He can't get mad here because it won't get him any closer to you. He has to be the bigger person.

If there is one thing Trey knows about Cater, it's that he absolutely hates getting sweaty or dirty. If Cater wasn’t trying to get out of running those P.E laps, he would absolutely be shirking any extra work assigned. So he's more than suspicious when Cater bounces up to him with a grin saying he could help cover Trey's science club duty of watering plants.

Trey likes to think he can tell when Cater’s lying. His close friend's happy go lucky demeanor often throws off others, but he’s been with him long enough to pick out his subtle tells. His eyebrow twitches when he’s particularly anxious and the corner of his mouth tends to perk up if he’s feeling particularly daring or desperate. Trey figures this must be something that even he can’t trust Trey with, if he’s going out of his way to take on extra work.

So Trey considers this repayment for letting him take his violets. He watches as Cater dashes off in labwear, waiting for a minute, before following after him. His duty was in the tropical zone of the botanical garden, so he has no worries even if he does lose him.

He nearly does a double take when he sees you walking in the courtyard hallways by yourself. And before Trey could rethink his actions, he follows behind you, eyes not leaving your form for a minute.

You look like you haven't slept well. There's dark circles under your eyes. He hopes you're brushing your teeth. There’s no signs of bandages or wounds that he remembers you in, which he supposes is one relief. Even if he so desperately wishes to cook you a proper meal—you look like you could fall over at any minute.

The realization your path is leading to the botanical garden comes just as Trey catches sight of the glass dome. He wants to rush in after you, but he stops himself just as the door swings close behind your form.

Cater is in there. It all makes sense now. Trey has to give it to him—Cater really does know every little happening in the school. But Trey knows him well too—and if he had to guess, even if Cater manages to talk to you, it won’t end pretty. His inability to be genuine will definitely only set you on edge and less likely to reciprocate.

The waiting game he plays is nothing compared to the silence he had to endure before. Trey doesn’t have to look to know that you’re the one slamming open the doors to the botanical gardens, labwear dirtied and face twisted in a frustrated anger. He watches as you enter Professor Crewel’s office again and after some time, pop back out in completely different clothes.

His chest tightens in longing as he continues to follow after (more from an instinctual drive now, rather than deliberate), trying to keep you in sight within the stone pillars. He wants to call out after you so badly and ask you what’s the matter, if you need help with anything. If there was anything he could do to make you forgive him for watching you bleed out on dewy grass. The sun is about to set, warm golden rays flickering between pillars and casting long shadows. Trey’s so enamored with following after you that he flinches back when the sun directly shines into his eyes, blinding him momentarily.

He barely manages to get a hold of himself. By the time his eyes blink away the blurry blots, he realizes you’re looking back at him. His breath stops. Your eyes are wide and frightened as they are that day, and his heart drops to his stomach. Both of you don’t move, merely staring at each other.

You finally break the connection, turning around and quickly walking away. Trey gasps, remembering to breathe, lungs screaming for air.

What was that?

x. Entombment

It's a nice sunny afternoon in the Heartslabyul domain. There weren't any track club activities nor dreaded remedial lessons. If anything, this free time would have been perfect for a nap. He hadn’t been up to any large shenanigans like this since the whole fiasco of [First] and Yuu.

“I don’t think this is a good idea.”

Ace scoffs, rolling his eyes. “You got a better one, loosey Deucy? If we don’t do this now, then all of us are stuck until Housewarden grows a pair of balls.”

Deuce Spade bites his lips. “I just think there might be a better way around this.”

“Yeah? And the sky is blue. Keep going, we don't have much time." Ace cranes his neck to the side of the bush, eyes warily looking out to make sure the coast is clear.

Deuce grumbles but continues plucking, some roses already tucked within his arms. They chose a bush the furthest away from the dorm, in a hidden corner where no arched windows could overlook them. It was necessary, because today was Wednesday, and the Housewarden would have their heads for plucking his beloved roses out of all the flora.

His fingers are bleeding already, finger pads torn from repetitive tugging on the thorns and stems. They couldn’t afford taking any of the gardening tools, lest they be questioned for what they were doing with them. Still, even he had his limits.

“Why is it that you aren’t helping at all?” Deuce snipes at Ace, who scowls back.

“You want to be caught by someone, genius?” Ace replies snarkily. “Someone has to keep look out.”

“Doesn’t explain why I have to do all the work.”

Ace rolls his eyes, deigning not to bother engaging in another futile argument that would lead to nowhere. Deuce is about to cut off a particularly stubborn rose when Ace pipes up again.

“...Did they ever respond to your texts?” Deuce only deflates in response. Ace’s mouth slants crookedly in an annoyed grimace. The two of them know full well what the answer to that was.

“Damn that cat…” Ace mutters bitterly under his breath. Deuce doesn’t say anything. He too, is finding it hard to not feel petty towards Grim right now. Weren’t they friends? He could’ve afforded to help them out somehow. But it’s no use. Their texts went unanswered. Headmaster had banned them from stepping foot onto Ramshackle grounds. It’s like you had closed everything off from them.

It’s why he doesn’t protest this plan, as reckless as it is. He’s not any better than Ace—he needs to see you. He and Ace were your closest friends, your first friends! He loved you. That had to mean something. If it didn’t, then…

“I think this is enough.” Deuce adjusts the messy bouquet in his hands, attempting to hold them without crushing the delicate petals. Ace looks over and nods in approval. He takes out crimson ribbons and a silk handkerchief and begins tying it around the stems in a very artful way that has Deuce’s eyebrows raising.

“Where did you get that?” Ace smirks in response at the interrogative question.

“Don’t worry about it.” Ace snatches the bouquet from his hands and slips in an envelope with the housewarden’s seal. Deuce silences the questions on the tip of his tongue. For whatever Ace has planned, he’s rather not know anything more troublesome than necesscary.

What he failed to account for was getting caught. Housewarden Riddle was beyond furious for what they did. It was only by Trey and Cater's gentle reminders that what they did was for all of them, that he only calmed down.

Deuce supposes three days with the collar is better than a week. Even if it is a heavy thing that weighs on his very soul.

He only hopes that you don't notice the thorns they forgot to trim.

—

It’s a given that although Trey is the right hand of Heartslabyul, Cater is considered the left hand of Housewarden Riddle. It’s been that way since Deuce himself enrolled in NRC, and possibly even further back. He hadn’t understood it quite then, but after some time, he realized something that he should’ve realized a long time ago.

To never get on Cater’s bad side.

There are events where the five of them gather outside of Yuu’s influence. Administrative meetings, monthly tea parties, and the occasional casual hang out. When you’re aware of how much of your life is affected from being not like the others, it’s common to side with those who are like you.

Cater had called the meeting this time. It was a bit out of the blue, at least for him and Ace. It’s only when they’re all gathered around the playing table in the lounge, not another soul in sight, when Deuce realizes Cater has that gleam in his eye. One that screams that he got a viral lead on a hot topic. His upperclassman must have been investigating.

"Remember how mirrors are considered to be portals?"

Deuce's neck prickles.

"Your point, Cater?" Their housewarden is impatient, not aware of what the question poses. His arms are crossed with his eyebrows furrowed in a frustrated glare. Deuce realizes that he must have been the one to send out Cater.

"There's a mirror in the prefect's bedroom." Deuce blurts out, and Riddle’s steely eyes snap over in surprise. Cater nods in affirmation.

"Yeah. I only managed a glimpse, but Yuu covered their mirror." Cater says.

“Hold on, you went into the prefect’s bedroom? Scratch that, to Ramshackle?” Ace asks. “Why are we just getting this now?”

“Because I just came back Acey,” Cater flicks his forehead, causing Ace to exclaim in pain. Trey smiles faintly at the action. “Also Riddle told me to keep it confidential—you two would have ran straight out if we had told you.”

Deuce sheepishly rubs his neck at Cater’s pointed sentence. Riddle rubs his chin in thoughtfulness, eyebrows still furrowed.

“But there isn’t anything magical about that mirror, is there?” Riddle asks, skepticism coating his tone. “The puppet could have simply covered that mirror out of an odd preference.”

“Acey, didn’t you mention that Yuu always mentioned seeing things in that mirror?” Cater responds, deflecting the question upon his underclassmen. Ace straightens as he and Deuce both exchange a glance.

“Yeah…something about a mouse in their mirror,” Ace answers slowly, face scrunched in an effort to recall memories. “I always thought it was just crazy dreams but…”

“Yuu was always insisting about it,” Deuce chimes in. “Said the mouse speaks to them and everything—that there was another world it was in.”

Trey and Cater share a furtive glance together before looking at Riddle. Their housewarden seems to be taking in the new information, closing his eyes in thought. For a while, no one dares to speak.

“What do you think, Riddle?” Trey finally breaks the heavy silence, and Deuce breathlessly releases a sigh. Leave it to Trey to speak for all of them.

“If the mirror in the bedroom is magical, then that changes things.” Riddle pronounces with conviction. “If that mirror potentially holds a dimension, then that would be the perfect place to trap someone.”

“Cater.” The orange head straightens to attention at the stern command. “Find a way to get the puppet out of the dorm for a while. We’ll need to look into this ourselves.”

Cater smirks and a chill runs down Deuce’s spine. While Cater still has an easy going look, his jade green eyes have darkened with a sadistic gleam.

“Roger that, housewarden!” His upperclassman chirps, already taking out his phone.

Riddle is already barking orders that each of them are to take up within this mission of theirs. But Deuce nearly misses his task, eyes stuck on Cater’s face as he scrolls his phone.

He catches a glimpse of a photo before it’s quickly clicked away. Deuce snaps back to Riddle just in time for Cater to shoot him a wary glare, checking to make sure no one else was looking.

Deuce is very glad he is working together with Cater.

#yandere twisted wonderland #yandere twst #yandere twisted wonderland x reader #my works #damn this is the most ive ever written.....insane

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am-i-the-asshole-official · 2 months

Note

AITA for sleeping with a 20 year old?

tw: mentions of potential grooming, age gap relationships, nsft/nsfw, vague discussions of sex

So, me (38m) and my wife (39f) are in an open relationship. Basically, we’re both bisexual and not quite ready to limit our sex lives to one person yet. So, we decided to allow friends with benefits situations outside of our relationship. No romantic stuff, no dating, just sex.

In January, my wife went to stay at her best friend’s (28f) house and have some fun together. I don’t mind at all, I was kind of glad to have our apartment to myself for a week. Now, there’s this queer bar that me and my wife frequent and it’s a good mix of all age demographics and identities.

There’s this one trans guy, I’ll call him M, that most people in the local community know because he’s very attractive. He reminds me of a very short Eric Draven mixed with Eddie Vedder. (Oddly specific, I know) Like, he has long-ish curly brown hair, big brown eyes, the sweetest smile ever and he dresses very well. A little grunge here, a little rockstar there. Good jewelry. You get it.

I always catch people staring at him when he’s at the bar with his friends. (We live in Europe btw, legal drinking age is 18.) In short, I find him very cute. He’s basically a micro celebrity among the community and he doesn’t even know it.

So, while my wife was away I went down to the bar and his friend group invited me to come sit with them. We started talking, he’s super funny and we began talking about Pearl Jam because of the shirt I was wearing. Found out he’s obsessed with the music scene of the 90s, specifically rock and grunge, and I happen to have a collection of merchandise of the big 4. I invited him to come check it out and he eagerly accepted. None of his friends wanted to come, so it was just us two. Showed him the stuff, he got super excited about it and I even let him keep one of my Soundgarden shirts and some CDs.

I offered to cook dinner, we ate and then had some weed brownies for dessert. We got posted on the couch, talked for a good while and he began confiding in me. I’m not gonna go into detail because that’s shitty, but he basically told me he’d never had a positive sexual experience up to that point. Apparently all of his exes were switches leaning submissive and he’s purely submissive, so things never really worked out and he never finished with any of them.

I told him about me and my wife’s arrangements and some other stuff about our sex life. (Don’t worry, my wife is 100% okay with this. Even in this context.)

Here’s where I might be the asshole, if not the creep:

Now, I was pretty high at that point and I joked about how I could give him a positive experience. To my surprise, he actually eagerly accepted. I was a bit hesitant because we were both buzzed, but he kept reiterating that he’s consenting and that he’s sure he wants this. So, I made sure he had a good night and he actually ended up sleeping over and we cuddled. It was super nice and he seemed genuinely ecstatic about it the next morning, it was adorable. I was honestly just happy that I was able to give him a positive sexual encounter.

We exchanged numbers, kept texting for two days and he ended up coming over again. Had some more fun together and he went to go sleep over at a friend’s place. At that point, I sort of realized that I may be catching feelings for him. Which is against me and my wife’s rules and also just a horrible idea, especially considering the age gap. So, I let him know that I need some distance and he was super understanding. He was understandably a bit disappointed but didn’t complain or anything.

Once my wife came back, I told her about everything. This is just a thing we do because it helps avoid speculation and unnecessary jealousy. We always tell each other about what happens with our other sexual partners, but only if they consent to it. Which most of them do because they’re our friends. She seemed a bit unnerved by it, not because of the fact that I had feelings for him, but because of the age difference. She said it’s weird and predatory and told me she needed some time to think.

Apparently, she went to go check in on M and asked him if I pressured him into anything. He said it was a 100% mutual thing and he’s very much into older guys, so he enjoyed it quite a lot.

This put her mind at ease but I’m still quite shaken by it. I never stopped to consider the fact that the age difference is quite concerning. I can’t help but feel like a nasty creep that bribed some poor 20 year with old band shirts to come sleep with him. I don’t like that I didn’t even think about it. Talking with M came so easy and we share a lot of interests. I’m not about to go and say he’s 'mature for his age' because he isn’t, he acts like any other 20 year old.

I was just so focused on how attractive and interesting he is to me, I fear I might’ve acted extremely selfish and should’ve stopped to take his lack of experience and his naivety into account. Of course he’d sleep with me, he’s 20 and doesn’t know any better. It should’ve been my job, as the older adult, to put a stop to it. Please don’t hesitate to give it to me straight.

AITA?

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole #eyestrain

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autball · 1 year

Text

If your first instinct is to dismiss this on the grounds of “but that would be really messed up,” you’re about halfway to the point.

Keep going.

My oldest doesn’t do a lot of eye contact, which was always fine by me because I’m not that into it either. It’s not at all painful for me with my kids, we just never really needed it because we find connection in so many other ways.

Then my youngest came along. They want ALL the eye contact, lol. They really need it for connection. It sometimes takes conscious reminders to myself to meet their gaze because I’m not used to doing it, but I’m happy to make the extra effort to meet my child’s needs in this area.

Can you imagine, though, if I had instead been like, “No one else here needs eye contact, and it’s more work for me, so you’re just gonna have to learn to do things our way to fit in?” Most people would have no trouble seeing how damaging that would be to my child, and they would rightfully want to call me out for it.

Because most people can relate to my child’s need for eye contact.

The only reason non-Autistic ways of being have become the norm is because there are more of them than us. It’s not because they’re actually better, it’s just that NTs have been the ones in charge of making up the rules since forever.

So what if Autistic people were the majority? What if *we’d* been in charge of making up the social rules and public spaces and developmental timelines all this time? How would Allistic people be treated in this parallel universe? And how do you think Allistic children would handle being forced to live in a world not made for them?

How many people in that universe would actually *encourage* me to deny my youngest child eye contact?

Y’know, to prepare them for the real world.

(Image description in Alt Text.)

#autistic #actually autistic #autism #aba therapy #applied behavior analysis #autism acceptance #autistic feels

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cr-komi · 4 months

Text

"All's Fair in Love and War"

Summary: You harbored a deep hatred for Jeon Jungkook, your new roommate at Skyline View Apartments. Despite his outward kindness, the constant noise of his nightly activities with different partners fueled your resentment. Envious and frustrated, you couldn't help but wonder if he truly made those women feel as good as they sounded.

Pairing: Jeon Jungkook X Reader

Genre: Smut

Word Count: 6,061

Warnings: Swearing, angst, oral (m&f receiving), unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it, people), multiple orgasms

Authors Note: This is not proofread. I hope you all enjoy this story, it was fun to write but this is also my first time writing something like this so please be kind!

You hated Jeon Jungkook with every bone in your body.

When given this information, one might ask why you despise a man who has been nothing but nice to you since you became his new roommate at the newly built, Skyline View Apartments, although those who wondered about your dislike for him never had to hear him fucking the daylights of a new girl every single night.

You resented Jeon Jungkook so deeply that it had become an obsession. Day in and day out, the melodic moans and rhythmic thumping from his bedroom invaded your peace, a constant reminder of his promiscuity and your own solitude. Each passionate encounter was like a dagger piercing through the thin walls, leaving you seething with envy and frustration.

I mean, honestly, could he really make all those women feel that good?

---

The apartment was a patchwork of sunlight and shadows, dust motes dancing like tiny fairies in the afternoon glow streaming through the half-closed blinds. You sat on the edge of the secondhand couch that had seen better days, fidgeting with your phone as you checked the time once more.

"Any minute now," You whispered to yourself, the words lost in the quiet expanse of the room.

Your gaze flitted over the ad you'd posted online – 'Roommate Wanted: must be clean, quiet, and okay with late-night baking sessions.' The rent, unyielding in its monthly appearance, had become a specter haunting your bank account. Sharing your space wasn't ideal, but neither was the idea of moving back home to two unsupportive, narcissistic parents.

A knock at the door jolted you from your thoughts. You took a deep breath, smoothing down your shirt as if the gesture could iron out your nerves.

You opened the door to reveal a young man with a bright smile and a duffel bag slung over his shoulder.

"Jungkook?" You asked tentatively.

"That's me, you must be Y/N," he replied, his voice carrying the warmth of a summer breeze. "I hope I'm not too early or anything."

"Right on time, actually." You stepped aside, gesturing for him to come in. "Welcome to what might be your new home, I guess."

"Thank you," Jungkook said, stepping past the threshold. He surveyed the room with an appreciative nod. "You've got a great place here. The ad didn't do it justice."

"Photography isn't really my strong suit," You admitted with a self-deprecating chuckle.

Jungkook set his duffel down, careful not to disturb the arrangement of magazines on the coffee table. "I'm pretty easy-going. As long as I have somewhere to sleep and cook some simple meals, I'm set."

"Ah, you cook?" You perked up, interest piqued. "That's definitely a point in your favor."

"Nothing too fancy," Jungkook confessed, scratching the back of his neck sheepishly. "But I can manage well enough not to starve."

You laughed, the sound more relaxed than you felt. "I tend to bake when I'm stressed. So, between your cooking and my baking, we might not be the healthiest household."

"Sounds perfect to me," Jungkook grinned.

"Listen," you started, suddenly serious, "I really need someone to split the rent with. And you seem nice enough. But are you sure you're okay with the rules? My work schedule is kind of erratic, and I need quiet to focus when I'm at home."

"Totally understand," Jungkook assured you.

"I keep odd hours myself sometimes. For the record, I'm clean and respectful of shared spaces. I would want the same if the roles were reversed."

"Guess it's settled then." You extended her hand, feeling the strange mix of relief and trepidation churn within you. "You're welcome to be my roommate, as long as you want to."

"Well I wouldn't be here if I wasn't interested, now, would I?" Jungkook replied, his handshake firm and reassuring.

You nodded, laughing quietly, "I guess you're right. Let me show you around."

---

As the days turned into weeks, your initial reservations about Jeon Jungkook began to dissipate. Contrary to the image you had built up in your mind, he turned out to be an ideal roommate. He was considerate, always cleaning up after himself, and never complained about your late-night baking sessions that sometimes left the kitchen a mess. He was quiet and respectful of your space.

You found yourself growing closer to him, drawn in by his infectious laughter and the genuine interest he showed in your life. It was as if a friendship had blossomed from the ashes of animosity. You began sharing meals together, chatting about everything from work to your dreams for the future. For the first time in a long while, you didn't feel alone.

That is, until about two weeks ago when Jungkook started banging every girl that he found within a 5 mile radius.

---

The clock struck midnight, and you lay in your bed, the moonlight casting ghostly shadows across your room.

You had been trying to fall asleep for the past hour, but the hope of rest was dashed each time a new wave of noise crashed through the walls from Jungkook’s side of the apartment.

"Ugh, not again..." you muttered under your breath, pulling the pillow over your ears as if it could shield you from the cacophony next door.

A rhythmic thumping against the shared wall set a maddening tempo, accompanied by the high-pitched squeal of bedsprings in protest.

You could hear Jungkook's voice, a melodic baritone, now moaning without any hint of restraint or concern for his roommate.

"Seriously, does he have to be so loud?" You grumbled, annoyance simmering as you kicked off your tangled sheets.

It wasn't just the volume; it was the frequency. This had become an all too familiar soundtrack to your nights, and with every encounter audible through the paper-thin walls, your patience wore thinner.

"God, do they ever get tired?" The thought came unbidden, as you sat up, clenching your fists in frustration.

You paced back and forth, considering banging on the wall or maybe even screaming into your pillow. Each stifled cry and laugh from the other side felt like an invasion of your already cramped personal space.

"Okay, think... headphones. Where are my headphones?" You whispered to yourself, fumbling through your nightstand drawer in desperation.

Stressed and sleep deprived, you froze with a sudden realization: your headphones were in Jungkook's room.

You mentally cursed yourself for leaving them there, how could you be so damn forgetful?

"Are you fucking serious?" You groaned, mentally debating on whether you should interrupt Jungkook's late-night escapade or not.

"Tomorrow," you vowed silently, "I'm buying earplugs. Or soundproofing. Or moving to the moon."

As the seconds dragged on, punctuated by the occasional 'Yes!' and 'Right there!' from next door, your initial irritation gave way to a begrudging resignation. You knew this wouldn't be the last night spent battling for sleep against the symphony of Jungkook's indiscretions.

"It's now or never, Y/N. Just get it over with."

Summoning a newfound resolve, you rose from your bed and marched determinedly towards Jungkook's room. The hallway was dimly lit, the only source of light coming from a cracked doorway that spilled out a warm, amber glow.

With every step, your anger fueling your actions, you were prepared to confront him about the disruption he was causing.

Clenching your fists tightly, you hesitated for a brief moment before knocking forcefully on his door.

The sounds from within abruptly ceased, replaced by an eerie silence that seemed to stretch on forever. Your heart raced in anticipation as you waited for a response. After what felt like an eternity, the door creaked open slowly, revealing a disheveled Jungkook standing on the other side, bare chested with a sheet hanging loosely around his waist. His eyes widened in surprise at the sight of you, clearly caught off guard.

As you stood at the threshold of his room, you were met with clothes strewn across the floor. The air was heavy with the scent of passion, mixing with a tinge of regret that hung in the air like an unanswered question.

"What the hell do you want, Y/N? Can't you see I'm busy?"

He gestured with his hand towards the inner parts of his room revealing a girl who seemed to be about your age, wide eyed and clearly uncomfortable with the situation that was playing out before her.

Your anger flared, the frustration of sleepless nights fueling your words. "I want some peace and quiet, Jungkook! This is not the first time this has happened, and I'm tired of being subjected to your...activities." You couldn't help but glare at the girl, her presence only amplifying your annoyance. "And who is she? Another one of your conquests?"

Jungkook's expression hardened, a mixture of annoyance and frustration crossing his features,"Y/N, you shouldn't come barging in like this! The stuff that I do in my time is none of your fucking business. And besides, we were just catching up."

"Catching up?" Your voice dripped with sarcasm. "Is that what you call it? Because I've heard more than enough catching up these past few weeks."

The girl let out a whimper, her eyes wide with fear, as if she was suddenly realizing the gravity of the situation.

Jungkook sighed, running a hand through his hair. Turning to the girl tangled in the covers he stared with apologetic eyes, "Look maybe you should just leave for now. We can finish what we started another time, yeah?"

The girl nodded, hastily gathering her clothes and making a beeline for the door, completely avoiding your gaze.

With a scoff, you turned your attention back to Jungkook, taking in his frustrated expression, "There, are you happy now? She's gone."

Jungkook's eyes narrowed as he took a step closer, his voice low and controlled. "You know, Y/N, you don't have to be so judgmental. Just because my lifestyle doesn't align with yours doesn't give you the right to invade my privacy and shame me for it."

Your anger flared even hotter at his words. "Invade your privacy? You've been invading mine, night after night! This is my home too, Jungkook. I deserve some peace and quiet."

He scoffed, crossing his arms defiantly. "And what about the peace and quiet I deserve? What if I told you that you're not the easiest person to live with either?"

The words stung, but you refused to back down. "I'm not the easiest person to live with!? That's bullshit! This is my apartment, or did you forget?"

He shook his head, frustrated by your accusations. "You act as if this place belongs only to you. Don't forget, Y/N, we agreed to this living arrangement equally. I have just as much right to live here as you do."

You threw your hands in the air, frustration finally starting to boil over, "Of course you fucking do! I don't care whether you have sex or not, or with who for that matter! I just wish you could be a little quieter. Is that too much to ask for?"

Jungkook laughed harshly, "If you don't care who I fuck or when I do it, then why are you standing outside my door right now, getting mad at me for that exact reason?"

If murder wasn't illegal, you would strangle Jeon Jungkook with your bare hands right fucking now, no regrets.

But instead of giving in to the violent urge that bubbled within you, you took a step back, trying to regain your composure. It was clear that this argument was going nowhere, and you knew that escalating the situation further would only make matters worse.

"I came here to address the noise issue, Jungkook," you said through gritted teeth, your voice strained with frustration. "I've been struggling to sleep because of the constant disruptions, and I wanted to talk it out like adults. But clearly, that's not possible."

Jungkook scoffed, "Are you saying I'm not mature enough to handle this situation?"

Oh fuck, someone should restrain you before things get violent.

"What?? When did I say th--" You paused for a moment, thinking before allowing a sly smile to spread across your features, "Yes. That's exactly what I'm saying."

Jungkook's eyebrows shot up in disbelief, his eyes narrowing in anger. "You think you're so high and mighty, don't you? Always acting like you're better than everyone else," he spat, his voice dripping with venom.

You smirked, the tension between the two of you crackling in the air. "Well, at least I have some self-control. Unlike you, who can't seem to keep it in your pants long enough for me to get a good night's sleep."

His face flushed red, a mixture of embarrassment and rage contorting his features. "You don't know anything about me."

"Oh please," you scoffed. "Enlighten me then, Jeon Jungkook. I'd love to hear your story that justifies keeping the whole apartment complex awake every damn night."

Jungkook's jaw clenched, and you could see the anger flickering in his gaze. But instead of retaliating with harsh words or escalating the tension further, he surprised you by exhaling slowly, seemingly calming himself down before suddenly leaning in close enough that you could feel his warm breath fanning across your face.

"Are you sure you're angry because it's too loud for you to sleep?" He whispered, a devilish smirk etched into his features, "are you sure it's not just because you're jealous?"

"Jealous?" You sputtered, taken aback by his change in demeanor, "of what? Of the fact that you're fucking every girl and their mother?"

Jungkook nodded slowly, "Do you want some of the action, Y/N? Do you want me to fuck you so good you see stars?"

Your heart pounded in your chest as you stared at Jungkook, his words hanging in the air between you, the tension between the two of you reaching its peak. A part of you was shocked, but another part was aroused by his audacity.

"What the hell are you suggesting?" You hissed, your voice barely above a whisper. "You really think I'd let you do that to me?"

Jungkook smirked, a predatory gleam flaring up in his eyes. "Don't tell me you're not curious. You've seen me with other girls, you've heard the noises... do you ever wonder what it's like for them? To be in my arms, to be with me?"

Your breath hitched as you processed his words. Was this really happening? Was he really saying these things to you?

"You know, Y/N, you keep complaining about all the girls I've brought home these past few weeks, but you've never once stopped to ask me why."

"Because you have the same sex drive as a horny teenager?" You retorted, crossing your arms over your chest.

He took a step closer, his body language commanding your attention, "I was home that night." He whispered, eyes sparkling at your retort, a twinkle of mischief in his gaze.

"W-what do you mean? Which night?"

Jungkook's voice lowered, dangerous and seductive, "The night you came home with Taehyung."

"I-I don't know what you're talking about," You stammered, feeling your body heat up as his gaze lingered on you.

Jungkook's smirk widened, "Oh, I think you do, Y/N. You came home that night, tipsy and flushed, your hair still wet from the rain that had been pounding on the windows."

You laughed nervously, trying to act innocent despite the fact that you knew exactly what he was talking about, "What...what do you mean?"

"I heard every noise you made that night, Y/N. Every cry, every scream, every moan, every whimper."

He leaned in closer, his voice dropping to a low growl, "And I watched you. I watched you give yourself to that boy, your eyes closed tight, your body arching back and forth in rhythmic motions. I saw every flush of color, every quiver of your lips, your nails digging into his back as you came undone."

You froze. If you had known Jungkook was home that day, there was no way in hell you would have left the door open as Taehyung fucked you into oblivion. At least...that's what you want Jungkook to think.

Your heart was pounding in your chest, and you could feel the heat rising to your cheeks. You wanted to deny it, to push him away, but at the same time, a part of you was yearning for more.

"Jungkook what are you--"

You couldn't finish your sentence before he was upon you, his mouth devouring yours in a passionate kiss that left you breathless.

You knew you should stop him, that you should push him away, but the arousal that Jungkook had stirred within you overcame any rational thought. You moaned into his mouth, your body arching into his, desire and want consuming your whole being.

He gently pushed you against the wall, his body caging yours in. Your lips met in a passionate collision that sent sparks flying between the two of you. Jungkook's tongue darted out to taste you, delving deep into your mouth with a groan. You welcomed him eagerly, your hands running through his messy hair before moving to his back, nails scratching lightly against his skin, leaving trails of desire.

He pulled away for a moment to run his nose along your jaw, inhaling deeply. To him, you tasted like cherry lip-gloss and wine, and Jungkook loved it. He captured your bottom lip between his teeth, sucking on it softly before whispering hoarsely against it, "You have no fucking clue how long I've wanted this. How long I've wanted you."

His hands slid down your body, caressing your curves, making their way to your hips.

He lifted you up just enough that you wrapped your legs around his waist, arching into him.

Jungkook's free hand found its way under your shirt, tracing circles on your stomach before working its way up to cup your breast.

You moaned into the kiss, your head spinning from the mix of emotions coursing through your body. You've never been this intoxicated by someone before.

The scent of his cologne filled your senses, making you dizzy with want and need. You pressed your body against his hard length, feeling him stir against you. Your heart skipped a beat at his arousal, and in that moment you wanted nothing more than to feel him inside of you.

You pulled away from the kiss, gasping for air as you looked at him with heavy-lidded eyes. "Take me to your room." Your voice came out husky, a mere whisper.

Jungkook didn't need to be asked twice, pulling you closer towards his room. As the two of you moved, he nipped at your neck, causing you to gasp and squirm in his arms.

The sound of his footsteps echoed in the empty hallway, the sound of your passionate breathing filling the air. His room is only a few steps away, and he stumbled through the door, out of breath.

The two of you tumbled onto the bed together, your bodies entwined in a sea of need.

"You're everything I've ever wanted," he murmured against your skin before kissing his way down your neck towards your clothed breasts. His hands roamed over your body, exploring every inch of your softness as his mouth traced a trail of fire across your collarbone. Your bodies moved together sensuously, practically in unison.

You paused for a moment, looking down at the obvious erection he was sporting beneath the sheet that was somehow still wrapped around his waist.

You could feel the warmth of Jungkook's body as you sat next to him, his chest rising and falling rhythmically with his breaths.

You couldn't resist the temptation any longer; You reached your hand out to touch the bulge in the sheet that covered his waist. Boldly, You slid your fingers over the fabric, teasing him as you dragged the seets downwards to reveal a hard, hot shaft.

Jungkook groaned softly, his eyes fluttering shut as you wrapped your hand around it, encasing it within your warm, soft palm. It twitched in response, pulsing slightly under your touch.

Jungkook moaned softly, his lips parting as he watched your every move, hunger burning in his eyes. You had never felt so powerful before, so in control.

"You're going to drive me crazy, Y/N." Jungkook whispered, a hint of warning in his voice.

You grinned, happy to have succeeded in your goal, "But you know I love pushing buttons." you replied, voice thick with desire.

"Keep going." His voice was ragged, broken. He grabbed your hand and laced your fingers together, guiding your hand up and down his length. The fabric of the sheet brushed against your knuckles as it lay draped against his thighs.

You began to stroke him in sync with his movements, your breath hitching slightly at the feel of him. You took in the scent of his skin, warm and slightly salty with arousal, and the sound of your entwined fingers rubbing against the sheet, rustling softly.

You leaned forward, pressing your lips to his neck as you continued to stroke him. His skin was warm against your mouth, and you savored the taste of his sweat.

You nipped at his earlobe, delighting in the way he shivered beneath your touch. "Jungkook, can I suck your dick? Please?" You asked, your tongue dancing along his jawline.

He nodded against your lips, his hips bucking slightly, seeking more contact. You slid your other hand down to caress his balls, gently cupping them in your palm. They were heavy and full, and you couldn't help but wonder what they'd feel like in your hand when they were covered in your juices. The thought sent a fresh wave of heat through your core, and you found yourself growing wetter and wetter by the minute.

"Y/N..." he moaned, his voice hoarse. "Please..."

You slipped the sheet away from him to allow yourself better access, quickly falling to your knees in front of him, and boy, did Jungkook love the sight.

You marvelled at the size of his cock, large and thick, glistening with pre-cum. Your heart was pounding in your chest as you wrapped your lips around the head, feeling his warm skin against your tongue.

Jungkook moaned deeply at the sensation, his fingers tangling in your hair as he felt the hot wetness envelop him. You licked and nuzzled the underside of his shaft with your tongue, teasing the sensitive skin with each flick before taking more of him in your mouth. You pulled back slowly, the head of Jungkook's cock slipping from your lips with an audible sucking sound, and then slid back down, taking him to the root with a loud gulp. Jungkook's hips bucked up off the mattress involuntarily, craving more.

You hummed in approval, cheeks hollowing as you bobbed your head up and down, creating a rhythm that sent shivers down Jungkook's spine. You cupped one of Jungkook's balls in your hand, massaging gently as you continued to deep throat him. Jungkook's taste exploded on your tongue, filling the room with a musky scent that made the both of you shudder. Each time you withdrew, you flicked the sensitive tip with his tongue, driving Jungkook insane with lust.

"Fuck baby...just like that." He moaned, threading his fingers through your hair, pulling you closer to him.

Jungkook's muscles tensed under your touch, his thighs trembling with the effort to hold still. He felt himself growing closer to his peak, his cock throbbing in your mouth. The sounds of your breathing grew louder, faster, and the room was filled with wet, slurping noises as you sucked harder. His eyes fluttered open when he felt your teeth graze against the sensitive skin at the base of his cock, and he cried out, arching into the touch.

"Ahh, shit, that mouth feels so good.”

You looked up at him through your eyelashes, a smirk gracing your lips. "Like that?" You asked, voice rough with desire.

Jungkook nodded, unable to form words as his body was consumed by pleasure. He reached down to stroke your hair, feeling the silky strands between his fingers as you moved faster, taking more of him into your mouth. Jungkook's hips bucked wildly now, meeting the rhythm of your bobbing head. He could feel the familiar tingle spreading through his body, his heart pounding in his ears.

"Fuck, I'm gonna-- shit, I'm close."

With one final thrust forward, Jungkook came, his release hot and thick in your mouth. He groaned loudly, almost giving out as he lost control.

You welcomed every drop, swallowing greedily as you continued to stroke Jungkook's length.

The room fell into silence, the only sound being their ragged breathing. Eventually, you pulled away, a satisfied smile on you face.

"That was amazing," Jungkook whispered, his cheeks flushed with arousal.

You leaned forward, pressing a soft kiss to his lips. His hands cupped the back of your head, holding you close as you tasted your own handiwork. "I'm glad you enjoyed it," you whispered, your voice still thick with desire.

Jungkook nodded before fiddling with the hem of your shorts, "Let me make you feel good too, Y/N. I wanna taste you."

You felt a shiver of anticipation run down your spine as he began to run his fingers up and down your thighs, his touch sending shivers coursing through your body.

"Jungkook, I'm all yours," you whispered, your eyes never leaving his as he continued to explore your body.

He smiled softly before slowly kissing his way up your inner thigh, his tongue tracing a path that sent a rush of excitement coursing through your body. He paused for a moment, his knees brushing against your legs as he looked up at you, his eyes filled with desire.

"Just tell me what you want, babe," he rasped, his voice low and full of lust.

You bit your lip, unsure of what to say. You had never felt this exposed before, never this vulnerable. But you knew that this was what you wanted, this connection with him, and you trusted him implicitly.

"I-I want you, Jungkook. Please, just touch me."

Jungkook nodded moving himself slightly have have better access to your dripping pussy.

Smiling, he slowly pulled your shorts down your legs, revealing your most intimate parts to him.

You part your legs slightly, inviting him in as he pressed his lips to you slit, exploring with soft little licks and kisses. His warm breath bathed you sensitive skin, sending shivers down your spine. "Oh fuck..." You let out, arching your back slightly into his touch.

His tongue dove in, tracing your folds and flicking against your clit, lapping at your juices like a hungry animal. Your hips jerked forward involuntarily as he began to suck on your sensitive bud, drawing out a moan from the depths of your throat. "Jungkook..." you panted, gripping onto his hair tightly. He sucked harder, pulling on your clit between his teeth, and you gasped, feeling your whole body tense up.

"You taste so good," he mumbled against your entrance, tongue darting around inside of you.

To him, you tasted both sweet and salty, driving him wild.

Your breath hitched as he started thrusting his tongue in and out, in sync with his fingers that are now rubbing your entrance. His other hand squeezed your ass cheek, pulling you closer, and you whimpered, unable to focus on anything but the sensations coursing through you. Each thrust of his tongue hit your G-spot, sending shockwaves of pleasure through your core.

"Fuck, Jungkook," you cried out, throwing your head back, hair falling in front of your face as you lost control.

You tried to push him away, needing a moment to catch your breath, but he didn't budge. His tongue pushed deeper, exploring every inch of you, and you can't help but whimper

"I'm so close!" You warned, voice thin and breaking.

Jungkook smirked, feeling a sense of power in being able to bring you this close so quickly. He quickened his pace, his tongue flicking and thrusting inside of you, driving you closer and closer to the edge. Your hips bucked wildly, your back arched, and you cried out, your whole body trembling with pleasure.

When you could finally take no more, you cried out his name, your body shuddering as wave after wave of pleasure washed over you, your orgasm gripping his tongue and clenching around him. Jungkook continued to lick and suckle at your sensitive folds, drawing out every last drop of pleasure that he could, until you finally collapsed back down onto the bed, spent and breathless.

He gently pulled away, giving you space to recover, his own breath coming out ragged as he stared down at you, awe written across his face.

"Y/N. That was incredible. You're incredible." He leaned forward, pressing a soft kiss to your lips, his hand reaching up to stroke your hair.

You leaned back slightly to meet his eyes, "I want you inside of me, Jungkook. Please."

"But...don't you want to take a break?" He asked, concern clear in his voice as he looked into your eyes. You smiled softly, understanding the concern behind his words.

"No. Please, Jungkook, I need you."

"Fuck..." He lowered his head and you found his dick, hard again after eating you out.

You gave him a few swift strokes, eliciting a moan followed by a string of curses.

You guided him towards your entrance, slowly opening your legs to expose yourself to him. You wanted him, needed him, and began taking him in slowly, inch by inch.

A low growl escaped his throat as you enveloped him fully, the two of you moving in perfect sync. His hands gripped your waist tightly, pulling you closer, deeper.

"Fuck, Y/N. You feel so good," he groaned, chest heaving.

Jungkook thrust into you with a steady rhythm. His hips slapping against your ass as the two of you moaned in unison. The bed creaked with your movements, filling the air with an erotic melody. Your nails dug into Jungkook's back, leaving red marks visible against his perfect skin. He growled, biting down on your neck as he lifted you up and slammed you down onto him with more force. Your breasts swayed with each movement of his hips, nipples hardening against his chest.

"You feel so damn good," he growled, his hips bucking faster with each thrust, his eyes never leaving yours.

You moaned softly, meeting his thrusts with fervor. His breaths came out ragged, panting as he continued to move inside of you.

Your bodies moved together in perfect sync as he pinned you down, not wanting to lose the feeling of being this close to you. He leaned down, capturing your lips in a passionate kiss that left you gasping for air.

To him, you tasted of both of your combined sweat and his essence as he nipped at your bottom lip before devouring it once more.

Your legs wrapped tightly around his waist, urging him to go deeper. He groaned into the kiss and complied, slamming into you harder as he felt your inner walls clench around him.

"Fuck," he muttered against your lips, the word lingering there as you both pulled apart to gasp for air. "You're so fucking perfect, Y/N." He slammed into you again, his pace quickening as he lost control. His fingers dug into your hips, marking your flesh with his nails.

The sound of skin hitting skin filled the room, echoing in the silence. Your head hit the headboard with every powerful thrust, eyes rolled back in ecstasy. You whimpered Jungkook's name, voice hoarse from the pleasure coursing through your veins.

You felt everything, each inch of him inside of you, and every touch that sent shivers down your spine.

You gripped onto his hair, pulling him closer for another deep kiss. Your tongues tangled together, hearts racing as the both of you lost yourselves in this moment. With every stroke of his hips, you felt the burning sensation between your legs intensify.

It was as if he was setting you on fire, and you couldn't get enough of it. His cock hit your G-spot over and over again, driving you wild with desire.

"Fuck, Jungkook!" You screamed, "I'm close!"

Your nails dug deeper into his skin, Jungkook hissed but didn't pull away, instead, he growled low in his throat and took your lip between his teeth, marking you.

You responded by biting his neck, hard enough to leave a mark of your own.

"Ah, Jungkook!" As Jungkook slammed into you harder and harder, a familiar coil began to build inside of you, bubbling up until finally waves of pleasure crashed over you, one after the other as you found your release.

Your moans and gasps filled the room, drowning out everything else, and Jungkook followed suit, his orgasm overtaking him not long after yours.

"Holy shit, Y/N, I'm gonna-- fuck!"

With one final thrust, Jungkook groaned and his hips stuttered, his warmth filling you up completely.

Your tongues tangled as the two of you kissed, your hearts beating together.

As you caught your breath and lay there together, your bodies still intertwined, you couldn't help but feel an overwhelming sense of completion. The air was thick with the mingled scents of sex and sweat, and your skin was slick with a sheen of perspiration.

Jungkook stroked your hair softly, his fingers gentle against your skin, and you could hear the ragged rhythm of his breathing. Your gaze met his, his eyes filled with vulnerability.

You leaned forward, lips brushing against his cheek, and whispered, "So, was all of that earlier...just to make me jealous? So I would give in and take the initiative?"

Jungkook's cheeks tinged a shade of pink, hiding his face in the crook of your neck, "You have no idea how long I've been into you. When I saw you with Taehyung, I just...I don't know. I saw the way you were with him, and I realized that I wanted to be the only one to make you scream like that."

Woah, that was some confession.

You swallowed hard, feeling a mix of surprise, joy, and confusion wash over you. "What do you mean, you've been into me for a long time? For how long?"

Jungkook took a deep breath, his eyes meeting yours with a blend of fear and love. "Since the first time I saw you. I know it sounds ridiculous, but I just couldn't resist you. You're everything I've ever wanted, and I knew I had to have you, Y/N."

You felt your heart flutter at his words, and you gently caressed his cheek. "I...I've had feelings for you too, Jungkook."

"Although this absolutely fucking pains me to admit, I knew you were home that day. You know, the day with uh, Taehyung. I did that on purpose. I was...I was t-trying to make you jealous."

Jungkook laughed, continuing to stroke your hair, "Well it fucking worked."

You chuckled softly at his admission, your heart swelling with affection as you traced his jawline with your fingers.

"As long as we're honest with each other, it's all good. And honestly, I don't think I would have been able to resist you either," you admitted, a shy smile playing on your lips.

He leaned in closer, his lips brushing against your forehead. "I want to make sure we get this right, Y/N. I don't want to rush into anything, and I want to make sure we're both happy."

You nodded, understanding the importance of taking things slow. "I agree, Jungkook. We can take our time, and we'll figure this out together."

As you lay entwined, your sweaty bodies still glistening from your passionate encounter, you felt a sense of peace wash over you. This was just the beginning of your journey together and you knew that, as long as you had each other, you could face anything that came your way. The world had just opened up in the most unexpected way, and the two of you were ready to explore it together, side by side.

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daarka · 1 year

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For those late to the party who want to know what the hell is going on with #OpenDnD, #StoptheSub, #DnDBegone etc, and why everyone is cancelling DnDBeyond subscriptions, I tried to do a crash course as succinctly as possible. OpenDnD.Games is a great resource for more in-depth details, and if you wish to do so, you can cancel your DnDBeyond subscription through this direct link (as there have been many reporting trouble in locating where to do so). Edit: Tweaked the very first detail below, as someone reminded me it was not a wholly accurate statement as I had initially written it. Apologies to everyone who already reblogged the first version of this :')

Hasbro acquired Wizards of the Coast (WotC) some time ago, but recently they got new leadership who said in an interview that they see D&D as "under-monetized". Hasbro is on the decline with finances, and WotC is its biggest cash cow. Why milk that cash cow through producing more content when you can instead revoke a legally irrevocable license that makes it impossible for 3rd party content creators to exist?

America loves a good monopoly. The old license that permitted the community to grow to what it is today was OGL1.0a, and without it, D&D would not be what it is right now, nor even close. They tried to shift to OGL1.1, a new license that is, in a word, PREDATORY. Horrific, nasty shit.

OGL1.1 was quietly sent to large creators to sign. It then got leaked. The community erupted. The backlash was loud and unanimous. WotC was radio silent for like two weeks. They finally gave a single-sentence "we'll explain soon" tweet on DnDBeyond's account. Then more silence.

A WotC employee reached out to large creators to blow the whistle on WotC. The source was verified, and they shared that WotC sees the community as an obstacle between them and their money, all they care about is bottom line, and they're delaying in hopes we forget and move on.

And also that they are mainly looking at DnDBeyond subscription cancelations to gauge the financial impact; they don't care about our sentiments, only our money. So everyone erupted into signal boosting for others to unsubscribe as the single and best way to make ourselves heard. Cue the mass unsubscribing.

Today (January 13th 2023), a shitty PR piece was posted on DnDBeyond full of blatant lies and, in my opinion, barely-contained saltiness. Right before that, though, OGL2.0 leaks came out; the tweaks they'd begrudgingly made following the backlash. 2.0 is basically just as bad as 1.1; they just spoke of it as being more changed than it was.

In other words, they keep bold-faced lying to a community of rules-lawyers who recreationally read fine print :)

Meanwhile, Paizo (creators of Pathfinder) has come to the rescue, vowing to release a truly open license that will allow everyone to continue pursuing the livelihoods they're passionate about; this is the Open RPG Creative License, or "ORC".

Canceling subscriptions immediately sends a potent message, even if you may have to resubscribe later for functionality in your games. You'll still have the remainder of your billing cycle to enjoy paid perks.

Everything's a little on fire, but I think we'll be okay ♥️

OGL1.0a was never meant to be revocable, as loudly stated in the past couple days by the very people who authored it. It is very likely that WotC is actually just bluffing and bullying, and is actually powerless to revoke it--something many lawyers more knowledgeable than myself seem to be suggesting. In which case, it is my greatest hope in all of this that 3rd party creators are able to continue doing what they love, with no further interruptions.

Remember: the majority of WotC and DnDBeyond employees feel the exact same way we do, but they don't have a choice. Hasbro is the enemy here. Be kind to each other, and know where blame should and should not be placed. If you want to stay up to speed, the account of @.DnD_Shorts seems to be a very active and informed voice, largely responsible for sharing the first leak. If Twitter makes you want to puke, I completely understand; DnD_Shorts also has a YouTube channel with frequent updates on the situation posted in video format.

It's cathartic to me to try to signal boost this stuff, and provide summaries that might help others stay informed. It helps me feel like I'm somehow able to affect these nasty things that are otherwise just inflicted onto lil guys in the community like myself.

However, this has been beyond exhausting and stressful. I'm going to start untangling myself and stepping back from posting about this issue so I can hopefully restore some of my own sanity.

It's been really crazy--in a good way--to see the power this community has when rallied together under a common threat. It makes me proud to be in that community.

At the end of the day, all TTRPGs are really just exercises in creativity and fun. The golden rule has always been and should always be that there is no right or wrong way to play, other than what suits you and those you play with. Likewise, no one should ever feel guilty or judged by others for playing one system over another. It's okay to like D&D5e despite all this. No matter how much they've tried, Wizards of the Coast cannot claim jurisdiction over the invaluable memories you've made, and what has become a creative outlet for countless people. Myself included.

Boycotting is a great way to be heard, since they only care about money. But continuing to use the content you have to play D&D5e is your prerogative, and hurts no one. Furthermore, it's also okay if you can't cancel your DnDBeyond subscription because you rely on it too heavily for your games. That doesn't make you a traitor. That doesn't estrange you from the community. DnDBeyond, at its core, is a great tool that is popular for a reason; it's the new leadership that is forcing it to become something it wasn't meant to be. One day, I hope to be able to resubscribe in good conscious, and I hope that day is soon.

To reiterate, if anyone's even read down this far... be kind to one another. Keep in mind that big enemies win when the party is divided. You can love or hate anything you want in the TTRPG sphere, but how you feel about it does not invalidate someone else feeling the opposite.

Be kind. Be patient. Be empathetic. We're already coming out on top.

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misscammiedawn · 7 months

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Ethical Personality Play

So. I've written about my experiences with Personality Play in the past. A couple times, actually.

The TL;DR is that from early 2000s-2019 this was my signature move that the first three hypnotists I was tied up with utilized on a near daily basis. The damage of this abuse has never been fully tallied, but if you want my "how to alter your personality with hypnosis" guide in a word it is simple:

Don't.

"But what if I want to do hypnotic edgeplay?"

But saving that... let me impart some wisdom in hopes that y'all will play nice and safe with this.

Firstly let me define the terms.

Personality Play is any form of hypnosis scene that alters aspects of the individual's identity whether it be for a scene, as a permanent trigger or as permanent conditioning. The danger amplifies with the more severe and lasting the changes are but there is always danger.

So, let's cover each area of what can be done, how it can be harmful and how to avoid that harm.

General rules

Before even negotiating this kind of play. Disclose.

If you are engaging with intimate hypnosis at this end of the danger spectrum then you need to have a level of intimate trust relative to that risk and this trust needs to go both ways. If I were a hypnotist introducing this kind of play into the mix I would do so only if I could trust in my hypnotee partner's mental state.

I disclose my BPD and DID at the start of any hypnotic relationship and talk about how they impact me. How the depersonalization and derealization symptoms require a level of grounding before and after play and what to do if my emotional state switches during the middle of a scene. This is not an easy thing for me to do, especially if time is a limited factor, but it's a necessary thing to do.

I do not expect every person playing be willing to disclose every mental condition they have or open up about possible abreaction triggers. That's sensitive information and it's natural to not want to be open about that with every partner. I do, however emphasize that it is vital for that information to be known when approaching these topics. It is unfair for the partner in the scenarios to be responsible for managing safety on either side of the watch when they are unaware of the depths of vulnerability.

I have experience with this fallacy myself. In utilizing hypnosis to ignore my triggers I did severe damage to myself and I am now plagued with intrusive memories and nightmares of events that happened during scenes that I was able to effortlessly indulge in during the scene but as they say "The body keeps the score" and I was in fact doing further damage to myself. Something which my partner at the time was not equipped to deal with because I'd failed to disclose or even treat the situation as worth being safe about.

Now I am just burdened with further damage by ignoring my brain's defenses on my existing pain.

Once again, I refer to my first bit of advice on how to ethically perform Personality Play: DON'T.

Once you have a trusting understanding of both sides of the watch's limits and comforts the next step is grounding.

Grounding is mandatory.

I wrote about my feelings on this before in more depth. The short version, though:

Before and after a scene with intense reality distorting you should take an effort to make a person feel aware of their surroundings, to offer them connection "during the scene you will know I am here and you can pause the scene at any time for any reason" and for them to take stock of their mental state and how they are feeling. Just ask them to display curiosity and provide comfort in the connection between hypnotist and hypnotee. You will be returning here and you need to make it an inviting space.

Grounding should also include a reminder that the hypnotee will be aware of what is happening the whole time. I'll cover this more in the more risky portion, but the key to safety is to ensure that the hypnotee is not immersed in any headspaces they may slip into (with the understanding that there is another gradient here of subspace and highs and peaks from scene play which are chemical reactions and those highs are a little more natural than the altered headspaces I am referring to).

For another grain of personal experience and warning here, I just want to talk about the three hypnotists who played with me utilizing personality play. One knew what he was doing, one didn't know what they were doing and one didn't care. I'll refer to them as Noel (knew better), Dinny (didn't know) and Carrie (didn't care).

Dinny expected that if a scene got too much for me that I would drop out of trance or end the scene. To them they assumed that no one will do anything in hypnosis that they didn't want to do and that it was just extreme play-acting. They likely didn't believe in hypnosis all that much and used it as a framework for roleplay, which is their true indulgence.

So if a scene got too intense for them they would safeword. End the scene. They were in control.

As someone who was immersed in the play and had no grounding, there was no escape because within the framework of the scene, there was no "out of character" there was the scene and that was all that was happening.

You cannot assume that a hypnotee will safeword and end a scene unless they receive the proper grounding and instruction to do so. If you're going to be doing edge play, you have to surrender the fantasy and make sure reality is in the scene at all times. Both sides of the watch. If you are entering in a scene where a person is altered throughout then you cannot expect them to act on their agency. It's a CNC scene by default and you need to introduce safety and consent to avoid that.

Likewise I want to note the power imbalance that comes from play like this. A motivated hypnotee can fling themselves into this arena and do harm to the hypnotist. This does fly both ways. A hypnotee not advocating for themselves or exercising their agency will make a hypnotist accessory to the damage.

This is a sin I have committed.

A hypnotist has a responsibility to themselves to not allow a self-neglecting hypnotee use hypnosis as a method of psychological self-harm. This guide is as much to protect a hypnotist from being abused as it is for hypnotees to avoid allowing themselves to be abused.

Every side is vulnerable in these exchanges.

So... now that we understand the basics before we can even start, let's start in the shallow end and work out way up.

Emotion Control/Intelligence Play

Starting soft. This is fairly standard play and so long as you're being mindful I doubt many would have too many problems with these suggestions.

Infatuation potions, ditzy spells... this is fairly standard stuff.

The key thing to do is to ensure that the effects are temporary and impersonal. For instance for an intelligence play scene you may want to picture a dial in the hypnotees head that has a default setting. Take a moment to ground that default setting. What is normal. What it feels like out of hypnosis. Then you can suggest that it will always return to this default setting after a time but for now we intend to dial it back down, as you feel yourself growing sillier and sillier.

This is a safe way to handle a scene like this because even if you do not perform a post-session grounding (which you always should), the default will naturally return.

Likewise infatuation potions you can mention how your body will metabolize and you'll be aware of the artificial nature of the emotions you feel.

Being aware of the artificial nature of the emotions at play will prevent lingering effects. Even after you clean up there will always be a little bit left over and it's a matter of limiting how much sticks around and where the mind will return to.

I safely play with suggestions like this to this day even when Personality Play in the broader sense is Red for me. This is safe. It's manageable. It's temporary and with a partner who is willing to make space for it, you can keep reality in the room. Safe and secure.

But it can still be dangerous.

Let's see the intelligence play scene was handled poorly. Instead of a temporary dial which defaults to normal a hypnotist instead asked "Debra" to imagine herself with platinum blonde hair, a larger chest, all her thoughts evaporating into a pink bubblegum mist as boundless confidence overcomes her until she transforms into her bimbo persona, "Debbie" and Debbie can be summoned at a simple turn of phrase.

That right there? That's DANGEROUS.

We'll cover more as to why when I go over persona/character play, but it's a good example of how a "bimbo trigger" can be performed ethically and how it can be performed dangerously.

*sighs*

So let's move on...

Altered Headspaces

By altered headspaces I mean suggestions and scenes that play on your ability to perceive and process things. This can be the drugged/drunk sequences, hallucinations of any variety. It can be impulsiveness or boosts of confidence or terror.

Y'know. Stage hypnosis stuff. Because as we know, stage hypnosis tricks are a bastion of "ethical" suggestions.

Seriously though. The prevalence of these types of suggestion in the public perception make us as a community look bad and it's why doing them safely is vital, especially if we do get people entering the community with the idea of types of play which are risky at best from the get-go.

For these suggestions you want to provide the above grounding, but the hypnotee also needs to be able to have an objective view to their state so they can advocate for themselves.

Any altered headspace will supplement agency. It's why you cannot negotiate with someone when they are fractionated. Thusly, any interaction you have with someone in an altered headspace is going to be dubious consent by default. What if you made someone slutty for a scene and they escalated the scene to a sexual one without prior negotiation or existing rapport.

The correct thing to do is end the scene there and then. Otherwise the hypnotist is taking advantage of the hypnotee.

That's a fairly plain example, too. Hence why I feel even this level is edge play.

I don't particularly want to share my personal experience in this realm. Suffice to say I've never once in my life had lucid sexual intimacy with a partner. Every single time I was altered. I literally cannot approach the concept/act without being altered first. I invited it.

The body keeps score.

The way to practice this safely is to encourage the hypnotee to maintain an awareness and presence in the scene. There is a risk to this as incentivizing a dissociation between the conscious self and the altered self is the exact thing we are trying to avoid in these scenarios.

I refer again to the shining DON'T at the top of the post.

But with the correct grounding and temporary status of any scene this risk is lower than the risk of allowing a hypnotee to dive into a scene so heavily that they will ignore their personal ethics and safety for the consideration of the scene at play.

It's either allowing them the ability to advocate for themselves while altered, "the hidden observer will always be present during the scene and can stop things for any reason or just to check in" basically it's keeping reality in the room. A hypnotee should be discouraged from throwing themselves headlong into the fantasy and an awareness of waking self and the artificial nature of play is important, particularly the more immersive you go...

So...

Character/Persona Play

Which brings me to the final warning.

Please do not even attempt this. I see kids in tulpa communities and roleplayers who can't see the harm in becoming their characters and I wish I could share a grain of my experiences.

I did this for 18 years. Eighteen years. Daily. The damage it has done to me is never ever going to be fixed.

The thread I made on Twitter received a number of supportive messages from others with dissociative disorders who echoed my sentiments. I'm legitimately at the point where I ask "were we attracted to this type of play because we were predisposed to it" or "do we have serious disorders due to our time playing in the deep end"

Neither one need to be true. Doing so did damage. A lot of damage.

So here's my first question off the bat.

"What if your hypnotist gets hit by a bus?" what if one day you wake up and you no longer have someone to explore this gigantic portion of your soul with. What if access to this kind of play existed only within a relationship. Are you willing to allow that much of your personal experience and agency be left to someone else's hands?

What about trust. Can you trust someone to shape a part of yourself? Dinny, Carrie and Noel each did harm in their own way handling the bits of me I shared with them. Noel warped and twisted and perverted them to the point of which these characters, real and living aspects of me feel violated by his impact upon them. Carrie abandoned them and let them wither and die without even considering attachments I had made to them... attachments they had to the stories and connections they had made... and then Dinny? Dinny never treated them as real. They were fantasy and the situations were fantasy and it was all just a game.

Let me tell you about that last one. If you want to play out a hateship scene and utilize hypnosis to make your partner think that they are in that hateship scene, the emotions exist. They will bleed through and poison you in your waking state. If you are made to perform as a vampire who wants nothing more than to taste flesh then you are going to feel that desperate hunger and be trying with every fiber of your being to overpower the hypnotist who has the ability to end the scene if things get rough but, and this is the important part, unless you set up grounding-- you will not know that in the moment.

I legitimately have nightmares about the things I did while acting in scenes Dinny ran.

And lastly...

Are you willing to accept that there are parts of you that can do things that you in your waking and natural state, simply cannot do?

I do not know if doing these things makes you more vulnerable to the symptoms of a dissociative disorder or not, but I know that a damn lot of people who did this stuff excessively happen to have these symptoms.

Look. I don't hide my DID diagnosis on Tumblr. It hurts that I have a mesmerizing Fae in my heart who is more lovable than I am, more confident, more capable, more experienced and charming. I hate that she can perform feminine voice better than me. I hate that she can push boundaries and harm me without a thought. I hate feeling inferior to me. I hate feeling like I'm just a function of a person that people want around more.

I hate finding evidence that she had a whole online life that we hid so well that even post-diagnosis I am not fully sure what she did. I hate feeling powerless that I'm not in control of my own life and reality.

Dawn scares me. I am afraid of the part of me that most people love.

...and I have no way of communicating that as a warning that doesn't sound exotic and enticing. Because dissociative disorders are not exotic and enticing. They're boring, exhausting and tedious and though I am 50/50 on whether it can be accidentally induced through hypnosis play, I know there is no damned chance in hell any person should willingly gamble with that possibility.

I know so many systems and people who have endured extreme brainwashing who would be behind me when I say this.

DO. NOT. DO. IT.

...and so... assuming you have read all the warnings and you're not actively trying to invoke installed personalities into a person (which I do not condone under any circumstances at all).

How can we do character play and not leave lasting damage?

That's a question I have asked myself so so many times.

Firstly, avoid anything that makes the character headspace an extra layer. Do not use hypnosis to mold them. Do not give them their own triggers. Do not do anything which can be used as a divide between the waking self and the constructed persona.

But that's more "Don't" isn't it. Here's what you can do.

I think the best way is instead of having the hypnotee monitor the scene and step in when they need to, ask them to treat it as a performance. That they are aware of the artificial nature of the scene but at all times they will commit to taking on the role as an actor would on stage.

The key is to associate the role with the hypnotee enough that they are present in the scene while allowing them to commit to the actions without experiencing the thoughts and feelings of their own. Insist that no matter the morality and behavior of the character, the hypnotee as the actor will never cross their personal limits or ethics for the sake of the scene.

Then at the end of the sequence be sure to end the scene and ground the hypnotee, have them remember everything that had happened, remember them performing the act and deciding how to handle every decision. Make sure that the entire time that character and actor are one and the same and all hypnosis is doing is allowing the actor to invest in the bit.

That is legitimately the only safe way I think one can engage in this kind of play and from that angle it seems as harmless a suggestion as any scene.

But no shortcuts. No triggers that induce character headspace. No trying to breathe life into characters and allow them to inhabit. Even channeling them or letting them speak through the hypnotee courts a level of dissonance between states.

It's possible to enjoy the spontaneity of character play without suppressing the ego of the hypnotee. As I mentioned at the start, it may seem like a desirable outcome for some hypnotees to experience a state of ego-death and allow themselves to experience becoming someone else for a little while. It sounds appealing on paper.

A responsible hypnotist should never indulge that kind of desire and a respectable hypnotee should never burden a hypnotist with that level of responsibility. The damage is too risky.

Lastly, and this applies to all.

DEBFRIEF

Every major scene in any kink should involve a debrief segment. This helps with the grounding and it helps establish the in and out of scene dynamic while allowing the hypnotee to associate with their actions. "I did" rather than "they did".

One of my bigger mistakes in character play in my younger days was that I baked amnesia in and allowed my play partner to tell me about the scenes after the fact. This made it seem like the characters in the scene were the ones controlling things and I was a passive and absent spectator. Not good for healthy associations.

During a debrief the hypnotist and hypnotee should discuss their roles in the scene, how they felt during the experience. It gives both parties an opportunity to interrogate how the other is perceiving things, catch any flags (abuse of control over the scene, losing reality to fantasy etc) and give one another ideas for how to improve for future scenes. Debriefs make all kink play better in my opinion. Plus who doesn't like a bit of feedback on how you handled things in scene?

...look... I don't want to be an old lady yelling at the kids for doing things when I did them myself at that age.

I'd be a hypocrite if I didn't pretend I didn't see the allure on both sides of the watch.

I just... there weren't 20+ year experienced hypnosis veterans who had been in my character play abusing position when I was growing up. No one warned me. I learned all this the hard way and I hurt people. People I loved. Moreover I hurt me. In ways that will never heal.

I just want to spare anyone I can the pain of going through this.

So, in quick summary:

Ensure reality is always in the room.

Ensure the hypnotee is always aware of themselves and their action.

Reset after every scene.

Do not allow situational scenes to become direct triggers.

If you insist on reusing altered headspaces and characters then install and deinstal every time to limit any lingering traces out of scene. Do not allow them to have programming/conditioning unique to them.

Avoid allowing the hypnotee to circumvent their own ego and agency in a scene.

Debrief

Play safe... if you must play at all.

#camden posting #community safety #hypnosis #hypnokink #watch me post my trauma in public #personal

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sluttywonwoo · 8 months

Text

instead of you [part twenty-five] || l.mh

pairing: [best friend’s brother] lee minho x college!reader ft. han jisung

summary: you didn’t expect to spend your summer pretending to be your best friend’s girlfriend- then again, you didn’t expect to fall for your best friend’s brother, either.

warnings: swearing, angst, mentions of sex (mdni)

word count: 5.7k

a/n: revamped my tom holland series from my main blog ( @wazzupmrstark ) to try and motivate myself to finish it!!

series masterlist | early access to the next chapter on ko-fi

Your cheeks were hot with embarrassment, but you nodded in understanding even though you didn’t want to have this conversation. You were ashamed enough already, you didn’t need to be reminded of what a shitty best friend you were. You wondered what Minho must think of you. How could he still be attracted to you when you were practically throwing yourself at your boyfriend’s brother? How could you be attracted to him when he was willing to fuck his brother’s girlfriend- well, almost fuck his brother’s girlfriend. Minho was clearly the better person here, because he was the one who’d stopped it from going any further. Not only that, but he was the single one here. Being a homewrecker wasn’t great, but at least he wasn’t the one cheating on his significant other.

Of course, you weren’t actually cheating, but he didn’t know that. What you were doing was breaking a whole bunch of rules you’d agreed to with Jisung and going behind his back and breaking his trust-

“I won’t tell him if you won’t,” Minho suggested, putting your spiral on pause.

You sighed and crossed your arms over your chest. “We can’t keep doing this.”

“I know.”

“I’m surprised you still…” you trailed off. What were you supposed to fill in the blank with? I’m surprised you still want to fuck me? Talk to me? Acknowledge my existence? You settled for “want to be around me” and left it at that.

“Why?”

“You must think I’m a horrible person.”

“We’ve already been over this,” he pointed out. “If you’re a horrible person, I’m a horrible person.”

“Yeah, but, I just feel like it’s worse on my side.”

“I don’t know about that.”

“What do you mean?”

“I don’t know if I can explain it in a way you’ll understand.” You must have made a face because he was quick to backtrack. “Not in that way! Like, I don’t think you’re dumb or anything, it’s just that- god, I’m a fucking idiot. I don’t know how to explain-” he was fumbling, but you weren’t sure how to help. You weren’t sure if you wanted to help. “I thought that if we- if we, just once, then I’d get it out of my system, but I don’t think I can do that.”

You didn’t have any idea as to what he was talking about, but you had a feeling it wasn’t just about his brother anymore. “I thought you said this was about Jisung.”

His lip twitched, eyes widening in thinly veiled panic. “It is! That’s why-”

“What do you mean by ‘getting it out of your system’, then?” you pushed.

Minho winced. “I don’t- uh, they’re probably wondering where we are by now.”

He was right, but you weren’t about to let him off the hook that easily.

“Fine, but this isn’t over. We need to have this conversation.”

“I thought we were keeping our distance from each other,” he tried.

“Yeah, and look where that fucking got us!” you hissed, leaning toward him. “We’re clearly not very good at avoiding each other so it’d be better to just talk about it, right?”

Minho didn’t look convinced, but he nodded anyway. “I guess. But not right now.”

“Yeah, whatever,” you huffed.

You knew he could tell that you weren’t happy about the compromise, but you didn’t care. It was obvious that he was running away from confrontation, though you didn’t understand the reasoning behind it. Sure, it was going to be an awkward conversation to have, but you both already knew you were attracted to each other seeing as you had almost just fucked in the bathroom of a bar. It may have been more than just stupid hormones for you, but you weren’t about to tell him that.

“You go back to join them,” you said, smoothing your dress. “I-I can’t see Jisung right now.” Minho nodded in understanding. “Tell them that you ran into me back here and that I’m going back to the room. Just make something up, but don’t say that I’m feeling sick or Jisung will want to come up to take care of me.”

“Okay,” he agreed. “I can do that.”

You both took another moment to freshen up, checking your reflections in the dim light. You wiped the smudged lipgloss from the corners of your mouth, not missing the way that Minho tucked his dick into the waistband of his slacks before heading for the door.

“Wait, shit, I don’t have a key,” you muttered to yourself. “Jisung brought his for both of us.”

“Take mine,” Minho offered. He turned back around and reached into his pocket, fishing out the plastic card and handing it to you.

“Thank you.”

“Don’t mention it.”

You waited for a beat after Minho left the bathroom to follow, not wanting to get caught leaving together. Still, it felt like everyone knew. You felt like everyone was watching you as you made your way through the bar’s lobby to the elevators.

You didn’t have time to dwell, too paranoid to even check if your suspicions were correct.

The penthouse was thankfully empty when you returned. The main area was empty, at the very least. Nikki and Dom were either still out or had already gone to bed. Either way, you were relieved to be alone. You weren’t sure how long it would be until the boys got back so you took advantage of the solitude and jumped in the shower.

It was nice not to have to worry about taking too long, or someone waiting to go after you. Sharing a bathroom with three men was more of a hassle than you had expected, but maybe that was because they were all high maintenance.

You washed your hair and your body, but you didn’t focus too much on it. You knew there was no amount of scrubbing that could make the dirty feeling on your skin go away. It was ridiculous, how far you’d let this get. You didn’t know what was wrong with you, what had made you lose all sense of control and boundaries when you were around him.

It was like you didn’t care about throwing your friendship with Jisung away, but you did. It made you sick to your stomach to think about the damage this might do to your relationship. You knew he’d be furious if he found out, and you knew he might never forgive you. So why couldn’t you stop?

The mirror was completely fogged up by the time you got out of the shower. You weren’t sure how much time had passed, but your fingers were all wrinkly, which told you it had been a hot minute.

You hadn’t brought a change of clothes with you again so you were forced to retreat to your room in nothing but a towel. Minho, Jisung, and Felix were clustered in the hallway having a conversation because of course they were, and all three of them turned their attention to you when they heard the door to the bathroom open.

“Sorry,” you squeaked, and scurried off to your room, but not before catching Minho’s eye and Jisung's smirk.

Jisung was right behind you, leaving the two other boys in the hallway as he followed you into the bedroom.

“Sorry,” you repeated to just him. “I didn’t know you guys were back already.”

“It’s okay. You always forget to bring your pajamas with you when you shower anyway.”

“I know! Why do I do that?”

He shrugged and took a seat on the edge of the bed. “You don’t like having to put your clothes on while you’re still in the bathroom because you’re all wet and the air is sticky.”

“Yeah, but I usually just suck it up when I’m with other people.”

“It’s not a big deal. I mean one of my brothers has already seen you naked.”

You scoffed, burying yourself in the task of pulling clean pajamas from your suitcase. “Please don’t remind me.”

“You missed a great Meg cover,” he said, taking your request to heart.

“Oh yeah?”

“Yeah, they were a cute couple. They did that one song with SZA. You would’ve liked it.”

“Oh, bummer.”

Jisung laid back on the bed, training his eyes on the ceiling as you changed. It was a force of habit, something he still tended to do even though you had changed in front of each other and seen each other naked countless times. Honestly, it was an improvement from when he had used to fully turn away from you every time you started to strip, so you tried not to make too much fun of him for it.

“Of course, no one beat our performance.”

“Of course not. We were naturals up there,” you agreed, jumping into bed next to him once you were dressed.

“We hit every note. The track was off, not us.”

“The microphones warped our voices.”

“The speakers were broken.”

Jisung chuckled and propped himself up on his elbows. “Hey, we should probably have sex tonight.”

“Why, did one of your brothers say something?”

“No, no, nothing like that,” he assured you. “Just for consistency’s sake… unless you aren’t feeling up to it?”

“No, yeah, we can totally do it,” you answered quickly. Stupidly.

You zoned out while Jisung gave you a hickey on your neck, trying not to think about how Minho’s mouth had felt in that exact spot just a few hours ago. You moaned softer than you usually did, telling yourself that it was because you were sharing a space with Jisung’s parents, but you weren’t fooling anyone.

You knew Minho would be able to hear you anyway, the walls had already proven to be awfully thin, and he’d see the hickey tomorrow regardless. There was no way around it. He’d know that you’d run to Jisung when you weren’t able to have him- except that wasn’t the case at all. But what would he think? Why did you care so much?

You wished you could just tell him the truth, but then what would that solve? The whole reason you were on this stupid trip anyway was to convince Jisung’s family that he was in a relationship- Minho included.

He managed to avoid you almost entirely the following day. You spent the afternoon with all of the Hans at The Bund, Shanghai’s most well-known attraction. It was a mile of skyline nestled against the Huangpu River with dozens of shops, museums, and galleries interspersed among the buildings.

Jisung geeked out over the architecture, rambling about how there were over fifty-two styles of it present in the area. You listened intently, while his brothers pretended to fall asleep. You knew they were secretly interested, but they couldn’t let him know that.

The day was warm, a bit uncomfortably hot if you stood in direct sunlight, but it was manageable in the shade. Dom bought everyone popsicles from a cart parked on the promenade to cool down.

You shared with Jisung, trading your ice pops every few minutes. He’d gotten blue raspberry and you chose cherry, making both of your tongues turn purple.

“This is how they invented the bisexual pride flag,” you said, licking a drop of juice from your hand.

“You’re full of shit,” Jisung sighed and shook his head.

“Fine, it wasn’t exactly like this. The inventor was at a party and they made out with a girl eating a blue popsicle and a boy eating a red one, and then when they saw that their mouth turned purple they had a eureka moment-”

“There isn’t even red on the bi flag!” your best friend pointed out. “It’s pink.”

“Fuck.”

“You forgot what your own flag looks like?”

“Would you have believed me if I said it was a pink popsicle?” you asked, ignoring his question.

“No! It was a ridiculous story.”

“Damn.”

You stayed at The Bund until sunset, deciding to find a place to eat dinner when the sun kissed the horizon.

You tried to enjoy the sights, but Minho was making it difficult. Every time you tried to corner him, get him alone to talk to him about the night before, he managed to change the subject or slip away. Most of the time, he’d just call one of the twins over to join your conversation, eliminating any chance you had of bringing up the incident. You wondered if the giant hickey on your neck had anything to do with it. It was clear that he hadn’t wanted to talk to you about it even before he thought you slept with his brother last night, but maybe that had made him even more hesitant.

You eventually gave up trying to get him alone, not wanting to raise any red flags. Minho seemed to relax once he realized you’d laid off. He was much more conversational at dinner and even cracked a few jokes with his parents, who seemed oblivious to any tension.

You didn’t even bother trying to talk to him the next morning. It was too early for that shit and you wanted to have a good time at the aquarium without worrying about your best friend’s brother.

He said good morning to you in the kitchen as everyone was grabbing breakfast to go, but you ignored him. If he wanted to act immature, then you would too. It honestly seemed to be a better arrangement than whatever horny nonsense had been going on for the past few weeks.

The aquarium was beautiful. This one in particular was known for its underwater tunnels with moving sidewalks. They stretched on for what felt like miles, taking you through all the different sea life enclosures.

It was one of the more quiet activities, which you appreciated, and since it was so early it wasn’t too crowded either. The only time the silence was broken was when either you or Jisung would point out a funny-looking fish to one another.

At first, Jisung had made jokes about spotting different kinds of fish that he’d cooked before, but that upset you so he stopped pretty much immediately.

To your surprise, Minho pulled you aside in the aquarium gift shop. You were looking at shark stuffies while Jisung was over in the book aisle so you assumed that he was finally ready to talk about that night, but you were wrong. Instead, he grabbed one of the sharks off the shelf and pretended to look it over before turning to you and giving you a very serious look.

“What?” you asked in annoyance, frustrated that you had to drag whatever it was out of him even now.

“Do you still have the postcard?”

“The one you gave me in Italy?” you asked, cocking your head to the side. Minho nodded, rocking back on his heels awkwardly. “Yeah, why?”

“I… kind of need it back.”

You blinked, honestly taken aback at his sudden key change. “What? I thought you said I could keep it even after we called it even.”

“I know, I just- changed my mind.”

“Is this about Jisung, because he knew you gave me-”

“No, it isn’t about Jisung,” he cut you off and looked away as if he was paranoid about someone listening in on your conversation. “I don’t really want to get into it right now-”

“Okay, fine, whatever. I don’t have it here, though. It’s in my backpack back at the hotel so you can have it when we get back.” You folded your arms across your chest as you spoke, tone icy.

Minho winced at your reaction. “I’m sorry, it’s just-”

“Don’t be. It’s whatever.”

Instinctively, you turned to search for Jisung, seeking comfort in his presence like you had done so many times before. You could see the top of his head over the aisles so you made your way over to him, abandoning Minho amongst the stuffies before he could respond.

Jisung was still looking at books, seemingly trying to decide between a marine biology guide and a novel about a shipwreck based on the covers. He perked up when he felt you approach and turned around to face you, holding both of the books out.

“Which one should I get?”

“I feel like I’m biased because I hate survival stories, and a survival story at sea sounds even worse.”

He sighed, turning the hardback over in his hand. “Yeah, you’re the hopeless romantic out of the two of us. Always reading love stories with the same tropes.”

“I wouldn’t say I’m hopeless,” you argued. “I found you, didn’t I?”

“I don’t think that’s a great point for your case.”

You rolled your eyes. “Shut up, you’re a great boyfriend.”

“Well, I’m glad you think so.”

“And for what it’s worth, I don’t only read romance.”

“Oh yeah, you also read a lot of smut.”

“Ji!”

“What? You do!”

“Yeah, but can you not advertise that so publicly?”

He laughed and nudged your shoulder playfully. “There’s no one around to hear.”

“If no one’s around, then why was I just hyping you up as a great boyfriend?”

“Because I am one.”

“You’re annoying, is what you are,” you huffed.

“You say that, and yet continue to spend time with me.”

“Because I have no one else.”

He grinned at you before gazing down at your hands. “That’s cute. Are you going to get it?”

You looked down to see what he was talking about and realized you were holding a stuffed shark from the plushies section. You hadn’t even noticed that you brought it with you when you walked away from Minho. You’d been gripping it so hard that it was a little deflated and a couple of its felt teeth were turned inward.

“Oh, um, I don’t know. Do you think I should?”

“Yeah,” Jisung answered with a shrug, “Why not?”

He grabbed it from you and placed it on top of the marine biology book in the crook of his elbow, sliding the novel back onto the shelf.

“What are you doing?” you asked, following him through the store up to the register.

“Buying you the shark,” he said as if it should have been obvious.

“What, no! You don’t have to do that!” you protested.

“Y/n, how many times have we been over this? I dragged you all the way across the world, the least I could do is buy you a stuffed shark.”

“You use that excuse with everything you buy for me!”

“Yeah, because it’s true. And as your boyfriend, it’s my job to do nice things for you. It’s literally, what, a hundred yuan? That’s like fifteen dollars.”

You knew you couldn’t argue with him about it in the store, seeing as the only valid point you could make was that he wasn’t actually your boyfriend.

“Fine,” you muttered. You could Venmo him for the stupid shark when you got back to the hotel.

He smiled victoriously and placed both items on the counter for the cashier to scan.

“What do you want to name it?”

“I don’t know. Do you have any ideas, since you’re the one buying it?”

He tilted his head back in thought, humming. “What about Shang? Because we’re in Shanghai? And Shang is also your favorite Disney prince.”

You bit your lip in embarrassment, suddenly wishing you had asked the question after purchasing the animal. Not only was his suggestion the most touristy thing you’d ever heard, but it was also exposing your crush on a fucking cartoon character in front of this stranger.

“Well, they’re pronounced differently,” you pointed out quietly.

“Yeah, you’d have to pick one and just know he represents both.”

You kept Shang tucked under your arm on the ride back to the hotel, letting Felix hold him when he asked how soft he was. It was a pain to hail a cab big enough for all six of you so Nikki made the executive decision to take two separate taxis. She and Dom would take the first, and then the four of you would squeeze into the next one.

You sat squished in between the twins while Minho took the passenger seat. You were surprised that he remembered enough Mandarin from tours years ago to exchange pleasantries with the driver. The driver was impressed too and laughed heartily at something Minho said.

“Butcher it that bad, huh?” Jisung joked, earning a glare from his older brother.

“No, it was a joke. He was supposed to laugh.”

Jisung smirked and nodded like he was unconvinced. You almost scolded him for giving Minho a hard time, but then you remembered you were still mad at him so you held your tongue.

“What’s for dinner?” you asked instead.

“I don’t know,” Jisung replied. “We’re either going to try and find a place to get xiaolongbao or I’m gonna cook. Do you have a preference?”

“I am feeling a little tired, but I also have your food all the time. We should go out and get something while we’re here, right?”

“If that’s what you want to do, then absolutely.”

Once back, you set Shang at the head of your and Jisung’s bed, fluffing him gently so that he’d hopefully plump up again.

“It’s his bed now,” you’d announced to your best friend.

“As it should be,” he agreed. “He is a benevolent ruler and reigns over his kingdom of the bedroom with a gentle hand.”

“How noble of him.”

Jisung nodded and yawned, stretching his arms over his head. “What do you want to do until dinner?”

“How long do we have?”

“Few hours, probably.”

“Wanna check out the pool?”

“Yeah, I’ll ask Felix and Minho if they want to join us.”

“Actually,” you reached out to stop him, “can it just be the two of us?”

He seemed surprised by your request but was quick to reciprocate. “Sure, let’s go.”

Your hair was still wet by the time you were seated in the restaurant for dinner. You tried not to let it drip down the back of your chair, but that was proving to be difficult. Jisung’s hair had dried significantly more than yours had. It was damp, but only barely, and curling up at the ends. Each time he ran a hand through it, you’d be flicked with water droplets.

“Was the pool any fun?” his mother asked, sipping from her cocktail glass.

“It was nice,” Jisung answered for both of you. “It was really quiet because we were the only people there, but that was kind of a bonus.”

“Thanks for the invite,” Felix muttered, making you feel a little guilty for specifically not wanting them to join.

“I wanted to spend some time alone with my girlfriend, sue me!” Jisung shot back.

You were thankful he didn’t throw you under the bus, even though you knew he wouldn’t anyway.

“You get alone time with her every night, asshole,” his twin brother pointed out.

Your hand shot up to your neck, suddenly feeling self-conscious about the hickey Jisung had given you the night before. Next to you, he clenched his jaw but didn’t say anything. Whether or not Felix had intended to make the innuendo was unclear, but knowing him it was easy to guess.

“What should we order, Jisung?” Dom asked, expertly changing the subject like he had so many times before.

You had noticed that anywhere you went, Jisung’s parents were always asking his opinion on what to eat. They assumed that because he was a culinary student he knew everything there was to know about food, and therefore knew what everyone would like. It was partly true, which was one of the reasons you always let him order for you. You were guilty of making the assumption too, but even though he acted annoyed by it you knew that he secretly liked being asked for his opinion.

“We should get at least one order of the traditional xiaolongbao,” he suggested. “They’re pork dumplings full of soup, which is what Shanghai is famous for.”

“Sounds good, anything else?”

You tuned out as Jisung listed off a few other dishes to get, watching Minho out of the corner of your eye. He wasn’t paying attention either. He was scrolling on his phone, looking incredibly bored.

You nearly scoffed. He could at least pretend to be interested in what Jisung was saying. You knew Jisung had done the same for him God knows how many times.

You cleared your throat unsubtly, getting his attention immediately. Men were so easy. But you had also gotten everyone else’s attention, stopping the conversation altogether.

“Yes, dear?” Jisung asked, leaning in your direction.

“Nothing, sorry,” you sputtered, still eyeing Minho. He held eye contact with you, eyebrows raised in question. “Swallowed wrong.”

Of course, you had to use the word swallow while staring down the guy you wanted to fuck. If he caught it, he didn’t show it.

Jisung rubbed your back soothingly. “Oh, you alright, baby?”

“Fine, thanks.”

The conversation picked back up and you were able to fade into the background again. Minho contributed this time, presumably adding his thoughts on the food to the collective ordering process.

“Does that sound good, baby?” Jisung’s voice snapped you out of your train of thought, and you realized you were still glaring at his brother.

“Hm? Oh, sure. You know I trust your judgment on food.”

“I know. Half the time we go out you don’t even open the menu.”

“I like to be surprised!”

He chuckled, the hand that was still on your back making familiar circular motions. “I know, I know. I just wanted to check to make sure there wasn’t anything in particular you wanted.”

“I’m ok. You’re very sweet, though.” You punctuated the statement with a kiss to his cheek.

“I know.”

“Jesus Christ, I take it back.”

“Too late!”

“You’re impossible.”

“Thank you.”

After dinner, the Hans decided to attempt taking the metro back to the hotel rather than a cab. It took an hour longer because Felix misread the map and had all of you get on the wrong train at first, but eventually, you made it back to the square you all recognized and walked the rest of the way from there.

Jisung jumped in the shower first, and you followed him, washing all of the chlorine from the pool out of your hair and off of your body. You remembered to bring your change of clothes with you this time and threw your wet hair up in your towel so that you wouldn’t drip everywhere as you had at the restaurant.

Shang was sitting on Jisung’s lap when you joined him in the bedroom. He was absorbed in the book you’d lent him, highlighter balanced between his teeth as he jotted something down in the margins with a ballpoint pen.

“Shang better not end up in your room instead of mine when we go home,” you warned.

“Be prepared for him to go missing,” he mumbled.

“I’ll just take him back!”

“You won’t be able to find him. And you’ll never be able to prove it was me.”

“We’ll see about that.”

You were about to crawl into bed next to him when Nikki calling for the boys stopped you. You weren’t included in the roll call, but Jisung dragged you out into the living room anyway to see what was going on.

Felix had beat you there and was standing behind the couch where his parents were gathered around an iPad.

“It’s your cousin!” Nikki exclaimed. “Come say hi!”

The twins rounded the sofa and sat on either side of their parents, leaning into the frame so that the boys on the other side of the screen could see them.

“Jeongin, Yoon! How are you?”

“Good! It’s hot here!” the older one, presumably Jeongin, answered.

“Where’s’here’?” Felix asked.

“Florida!” the younger one exclaimed.

“We’re in the States for vacation,” Jeongin explained. “I dunno how you lived here for so long, Jisung.”

“To be fair, I was a little further north than you are, but yeah, summers are brutal. Oh, by the way, this is my girlfriend!”

You were still standing behind the couch, not wanting to encroach on their family discussion, but when Jisung mentioned you he motioned for you to bend down into the frame and introduce yourself.

You waved, hoping he could see you. “Hi! Nice to meet you, I’m y/n.”

Jeongin shot you a polite hello before addressing Jisung again. “I honestly thought you were lying when you said you had a girlfriend.”

Felix burst out laughing from the other side of the couch. “I miss you guys. It’s not as fun to make fun of Ji without you. Minho’s been lacking!”

“Oi, at least I have a girlfriend,” Jisung butt in. “I reckon you four will be single for the rest of your lives.”

“I bet Jeongin’s found himself a summer crush,” Felix reasoned. “He’s always had the most game out of all of us.”

The youngest boy scoffed. “Yeah, okay. One of us is a famous K-pop dancer, but I’m definitely the one with the most game.”

“Talent doesn’t equal game,” Jisung added despite being roasted within an inch of his life seconds earlier.

“Where is Minho?” Nikki asked the twins suddenly, looking around the room for her eldest son.

“He’s at the bar we went to the other night,” Felix answered. “The one on the roof.”

“Can one of you go grab him? He needs to say hello to the boys.”

“I can do it,” you volunteered automatically without thinking. You didn’t want either of the boys to give up time talking with Jeongin and Yoon, but you hadn’t considered that you would have to see Minho and be alone with him if you were going to take their place.

“Are you sure?” Jisung asked.

“Yeah, totally,” you replied, trying to control the shakiness in your voice. “You guys stay here. I’ll go get him.”

You kissed Jisung before you could change your mind as if the decision had been sealed by your lips.

You ran back by your room to slip on some shoes and took your hair out of the towel it had been drying in, hanging it on one of the hangers in the bedroom closet.

The bar was only a few floors above the one you were staying at, but you decided to take the elevator anyway, not wanting to get sweaty after having just showered. You tried convincing yourself that being alone with Minho would be no big deal, even after what happened last time you were at this bar. Maybe you would finally be able to have that conversation you had been trying to have with him.

Doubtful. He’d been acting weird all day. Certainly, he’d find another reason to blow you off and you’d be right back where you started.

As soon as the elevator dinged at the floor you were headed to your heart dropped into your stomach. You told yourself that the nerves were because of the height. It was a rooftop bar after all. But you had been perfectly fine the last time you were here, so you couldn’t even attribute your anxiety to that. No, you knew exactly what it was. You just didn’t want to admit it.

Even though the bar was dark, it wasn’t hard to find Minho. The place was practically empty. He was seated on one of the plush velvet couches facing the windows, looking down at something that was in his hands. As you got closer, you recognized something beside him. It was a bag. More specifically-

“Is that my backpack?” you demanded, making him jump up in surprise.

All of the nervous energy dissipated instantly, quickly replaced by anger and confusion. Minho clutched what he was holding to his chest. His eyes were wide with panic and his cheeks were already turning pink.

“What the fuck, Minho?” you hissed, continuing when he didn’t say anything. “Care to explain yourself?”

Suddenly, the shocked expression on his face fell into one of… what you thought might be anger, only confusing you further.

“I should be asking you the same thing,” he spat.

“What? What are you talking about?”

“I know I shouldn’t have taken your stuff without asking-”

“Yeah, you shouldn’t have.”

“Let me finish,” he grumbled.

You rolled your eyes, honestly in disbelief that someone who was snooping through your things could have the audacity to be upset with you.

“I just went to get the postcard I gave you.”

The postcard. You had forgotten that he asked for it back. Still, that didn’t give him any right to-

“You said it was in your backpack so once we got back to the hotel I was just going to grab it from your room. I didn’t want to have to ask you again since you were clearly upset about it, so I thought that I’d find it myself. That was all I was going to do, I swear, but you had a lot of things in your backpack that looked like postcards, and some of them mentioned me so… I took the bag with me so that I could look at them all later, after dinner. I didn’t know what I was looking at, at first…” he trailed off.

A slight shift in his hands revealed what he was actually holding. Flashcards. The flashcards. Fuck. The room began to spin and you genuinely thought you might be sick. You wanted the ground to open up and swallow you whole. You wanted to break one of the bar’s windows and leap out of it, even if it meant facing your greatest fear. But you couldn’t move. Your mind screamed at you to do something, say something to explain yourself, but you were frozen in place, unable to say a word, let alone string an entire sentence together.

“What are these, y/n?” he asked, taking a step toward you.

It was a rhetorical question. He obviously knew what they were. “Dates, fun facts, stories about you and Jisung... either you have a really shitty memory, or you’re not actually dating my brother.” His tone was taunting, he was smirking, but the way he was looking at you, the way he clenched his jaw, told you that he wasn’t amused in the slightest.

“I-”

“Are you really in love with Jisung?”

“I love Jisung,” you whispered quietly, desperately. You couldn’t even look Minho in the eye.

“Are you in love with him?” he repeated. “Don’t fucking lie to me.”

You sucked in a breath, forcing yourself to meet Minho’s gaze.

“No.”

lmk what you think i always appreciate feedback!!

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intimacyequalsdeath · 7 months

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Bubz's Slasher Fictober Day 14: Mark Hoffman (Pumpkin Spice)

My loves here we are! Day 14! Two whole weeks into Fictober! I hope you've not only enjoyed all the fics especially this smutty week but I also hope you've been enjoying October!

This man makes me absolutely feral so where as this isn't self insert at all this fic is also very much so a gift to myself from myself.

Notes: Minors DNI, Nsfw, Smut, porn with plot. No pronouns used and no description of the reader used either. Age gap and all that good stuff. Mark Hoffman gets called daddy and calls himself daddy in this. Like i said this is literally a present to myself.

"Baby, baby, baby, what did I tell you were the rules before I left this morning?" Mark tsked at you, placing his hand on your throat while looking down at you from his place standing next to the bed.

"Speak my love, use your words" He commanded when you didn't answer him.

"Y-you said I wasn't allowed to touch myself" You said peering up at him through your eyelashes. Mark smiled an almost evil grin.

"And what did you happen to do while I was at work?" He asked in a condescending tone.

You gulped trying to swallow the lump in your throat before answering him.

"I-I touched myself" You whispered, looking down at your hands. Mark put a hand under your chin and brought your head up to meet his eyes.

"What was that?" He asked again.

"I touched myself" You said louder, Immediately flinching as Mark's gaze on you hardened.

"Now my love, please would you care to tell me why you touched yourself when I specifically told you not to?" He sat down on the side of the bed with his hand still under your chin, his other hand coming up to move your hair out of your face as you kept eye contact with him.

"Because I had too Mark" you pleaded, You could tell you peaked his interest with this.

"Why did you have to darling?"

"Because you left me high and dry this morning like a dick!" You said suddenly getting mad remembering how Mark had pushed your hands off him telling you he didn't have time for sleepy morning sex and that he had to get down to the station to continue work on the jigsaw case.

Mark's hand flew up to your throat, squeezing as if reminding you what he could do if you weren't careful.

"I'd watch that fuckin' mouth of yours" He warned "You're already in hot water as it is baby" Your hands grabbed Mark's much larger one that was wrapped around your neck.

"Now if you really are that pissed at me for leaving you this morning I guess maybe I should make it up to my Baby huh?" You nodded at his question. "Use your words or you get nothing" He reminded.

'Yes, Daddy"

"Mmm That's a good baby" He removed the hand from your neck once more to run it down the side of your neck, his fingers tracing the outlines of the last love bites he had left there before the two of you had to attend a ball at the precinct.

"Have to make sure everyone knows to keep their eyes up here" He had told you as he sucked your neck as you finished doing your hair for the night.

As his hands trailed down your body he tugged on the back of your thighs to get you to lie down, He removed his shirt and stood up for a second to remove his pants keeping his boxers on for the time being before moving over to you.

You had already removed your clothing when you thought you would be safe to masturbate without Mark knowing. The only thing between Mark and your entirely naked body was your underwear you had tugged back up your legs when you realized your boyfriend had arrived back home.

Hoffman made quick work of them though, ripping them from your body and tossing the fabric onto the floor.

You had been with the officer for going on 4 years, You had met when he was assigned to your jigsaw case in particular. You had been very unlucky in becoming one of the Killers targets but was one of the lucky few to actually escape.

When you went to the police about it Hoffman was assigned to you almost as soon as you stepped through the doors of the station. Since then the two of you have been inseparable. He found you when you were at your weakest and swore he would take care of you and four years later he was still living up to that promise.

You had breathed life into the officer. Opening up parts of him even he didn't think he was capable of. I mean sure he was still knee deep in making jigsaw traps and had even selected you specifically cause he needed you to be his, but you didn't need to know that at least not yet.

Mark used his finger to caress your cheek gently as you laid underneath him in your shared bed.

"That's my doll huh?" He asked you softly, You nodded finally cracking a smile at him. He returned your smile before finally thrusting into you. You gasped at the new contact of him inside you as he wrapped a hand in your hair bringing your face to his neck as he held you.

"it's ok, this is what daddy's baby has wanted all day so this is what his baby gets" He said shushing you.

You whined as your wrapped your arms around Mark's shoulders.

"Daddy please" Mark was going painstakingly slow, as if almost teasing you as punishment for touching yourself. He chuckled at your whine.

"Aw does my baby want me to go faster?" He rasped in your ear.

You nodded into his neck, groaning as you felt him finally push fully into you. You felt as his balls rub against your bottom half as he held still for a minute.

Tired of waiting you tried to buck up into Mark from underneath him. This caused him to slightly pull out of you and look into your eyes.

"Excuse me doll? You think this is on your terms ? after what you did today?" He reprimanded you.

"Mark please! You can't do this to me" You begged him again "I'm sorry I touched myself I won't do it again besides you said you were gonna make it up to me for this morning"

"I am baby, but I can't just let you get away with touching what belongs to me, What's between your legs does not belong to you ok? It belongs to me, I'm the only one who's allowed to touch it and I sure as shit am the only one who's allowed to fuck it" He growled out pushing himself back into you as hard as he could and starting to roughly thrust.

He set a steady but hard pace and he pulled out and snapped his hips back up to yours. Tears sprung up at the corner of your eyes at the intensity in which he fucked you.

"Oh come on don't cry on me. Isn't this what you wanted?" Mark taunted from above you. His hands now gripping the sheets on either side of your head as he held himself above you.

Your eyes fell shut as you felt the tip of his cock hit against your sweet spot, brining you closer and closer to your climax. Mark brought a hand up to tap you cheek and make you open your eyes.

"Nah baby you look at me when you cum alright?" He said, eyes meeting yours.

You pushed your noses together, eyes never closing again as you felt your climax creep up in the pit of your stomach as your walls clenched around Mark's cock as it painted your walls with white. You were still seeing stars as he pulled out and collapsed next to you on the bed.

You placed your head on his chest and he brought a hand to it to caress your sweaty forehead as his lips kissed it. He used the other to bring the blanket up around the both of you before wrapping the other arm around you to hold you to him.

"You alright baby? It wasn't too much was it?" There was your Mark. A giver and taker in every sense but always with your wellbeing in mind no matter how rough he could get. You nodded.

"Yes daddy I'm fine" You told his softly, clearing starting to fall asleep as you felt his seed leak out of you. You loved that feeling.

"Mmm daddy's good baby"

"I love you daddy"

"I love you too baby, Daddy loves you more then anything"

#saw franchise #saw 2004 #saw #saw x #saw movies #mark hoffman #mark hoffman x reader #mark hoffman saw #halloween #slasher fandom #slasher x reader

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hoseokslefteyebrow · 10 months

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005

Pairing : Miguel O'Hara X Best Friend Reader

Genre : fluff

Summary : Miguel being Miguel at his finest.

Wordcount: 1.4k

Miguel O’Hara Masterlist

This is a direct continuation of 004. : )

Surprisingly enough (or somewhat not), it doesn't take long before the two of you fall into an easy routine. It takes Miguel a total of two days before he's completely used to having your presence the little amount more around than usual

It scares Miguel how natural it feels to share his bed with you, and to live with you. It's now been a little over two weeks since you've been staying at his place, and he absolutely loves it. Not that he's willing to admit that to anyone.

He loves how easy it is to come home to a freshly cooked meal, or to cook together when he finds the time for it. He loves waking up next to you, wrapped up into one another. You relax him to a level where he actually has to put an alarm clock on in order to wake up on time. Sleeping more comfortably with you next to him.

The attack at your place did shake him though, having brought him right back into his paranoia about losing you. Just a little more than before. He's strict in the simple rule of wanting to pick you up when you have a shift until late. He's also adamant about dropping you off when you start early. (The shop you work at is open from 8-21', morning shifts start at 6'.)

Currently it's afternoon, and your shift ended about 10 minutes ago. You're on your way to his lab, and should be arriving soon. At least, he hopes you arrive soon. Peter B is in his lab, and keeps on telling him about Mayday, who's also crawling all over the place.

Miguel sighs once more as Peter just wouldn't stop talking.

" Peter. I really don't care. Go bother someone else." Miguel grumbles, hoping Peter will take the obvious hint and leave.

To his disappointment, he doesn't. Things get even more interesting annoying when one of the recently recruited spider woman walk into the lab.

He doesn't like her. Not even a little bit. He doesn't understand why Ben brought her in. She was an okay spiderwoman, but maybe not yet great enough for the multiverse. He still trusts Ben though, trusting his judgement on this one.

" Hi Peter, hi Miguel!" She calls to both of them with a smile.

Miguel can't even remember her name.

Peter enthusiastically calls back to her whilst Miguel himself grumbles a forced greeting in response.

She wordlessly slings herself onto his platform as well, smiling as she holds out a box to him.

He raises a brow at her in question.

" I heard you usually tend to skip lunch unless someone reminds you, so I decided to bring you some empanadas, I heard you like those." She smiles.

He admits the gesture is sweet. But he can't be bothered to give a damn when he knows you're on your way with freshly baked goodies. (The cafe you work at is also a fresh bakery.)

" Y/N's on her way with my lunch." He deadpans, no emotion visible on his face.

He has no idea if you actually are, but you usually bring him something.

Nameless spiderwoman blushes in embarrassment, something Peter is able to help with.

" Hey, Mayday and I haven't eaten yet! We'll take em." He smiles.

" Don't let Mayday eat in my lab, Peter. It'll be a mess." Miguel warns Peter, who hums and skip off.

Spider woman remains, something Miguel doesn't really understand, but whatever.

As if on que, he hears your footsteps nearing from down the hall, and so he lowers his platform wordlessly.

Just as the platform almost nears the ground, you walk in. Miguel can't help himself when a slight smile pulls at his face.

With some struggles, and a helping hand, you manage to climb onto the platform.

" Thanks. Also, here's your lunch. We were making croissants this morning. One has chocolate by the way, I'm only willing to share that one if you ask nicely." You tell him, setting a paper bag onto his desk.

You turn to the spider woman with a smile, surprising her.

" Hi, I'm sorry I haven't introduced myself yet- I'm Y/N. Not a spider person, I just mostly hang out around HQ when I'm not working." You grin, holding out your hand for her.

She takes it, smiling politely.

" Hi. My name is Mary Jane, but I mostly go by MJ." She smiles as well.

" Was I interrupting anything?" You ask as you glance back at Miguel, who's munching on a croissant.

MJ opens her mouth to reply, but Miguel beats her to it.

" No, you're fine. She was just leaving." Miguel says, giving MJ a pointed look.

MJ turns pink in embarrassment again before mumbling out a greeting and swinging away.

" You sure I didn't?" You ask him. " She seemed to have something to say." You tell him.

He shrugs.

" I don't really care to be honest. " He tells you.

You hum, before plopping into his desk chair and opening up something on your phone.

" Hey so I've been looking around, and I found a new apartment. It's a little farther away, and even smaller, but it's in a nicer neighborhood and has better security." You tell him, opening up the site on your phone to show him.

However, when you turn your phone to face him , you find him already looking at you, as if he meant to tell you something a while ago.

" Right." He starts, glancing at the screen of your phone before he wipes his mouth of crumbs with his sleeve. " So uhm, I was actually thinking...- What if you stay with me?" He asks, eyes showcasing that kind of vulnerability he only shows with you.

You blink at him.

" You can't be serious right?" You ask him eventually.

" What?"

" Look. You're my best friend. And you always will be. But don't be mistaken that I didn't notice how you cast me aside until I was in danger two weeks ago, Miguel. You can't just treat me like that, save me, and expect us to share a space on your name in which you could kick me out whenever you want." You tell him.

There's no bite in your words, no ill intentions. Miguel knows he messed up with the stupid idea of creating distance between the two of you, now he isn't even sure why he made that decision.

" Look, uhm, I- I don't know how to explain this to you, but I have a sort of valid... reason? I didn't do it because I was bored of you or something. I know I never will be, in fact." He tells you, stepping closer to you as he takes your free hand in his.

" I'll tell you when I'm ready. I promise. But for now, I just can't tell you." He tells you quietly.

In truth, his reasoning is pretty wacky. He's fallen for you. Hard. And he was afraid of his own feelings, still is, but just slightly less.

You sigh, but nod.

" Look, I trust you. Just promise me you won't randomly kick me out and we can see if this works out." You tell him, your thumb running comforting patterns over his hand.

He visibly brightens up at your words as he nods. " Okay." He smiles softly.

The two of you are now so close, it's incredibly tempting to kiss you right now. Almost giving into the moment to bend down and connect your lips to his- he's grateful to be distracted when one of his screens showcase a circling movement, signaling an anomaly.

You turn to look at it as well- were you too swept up in the moment?

" Right. Work. " You hum as you pick out your chocolate croissant from the bag on top of his table.

[ A/N: Anyone one has any ideas for this one shot-series book? I'm lowkey running out of scenarios except for a selected few but I don't feel like quitting these two just yet.]

000 - Taglist

006

@adamsloverboy

@ihateuguys

@alchemist421

@julesclues

@bxrbiewrites

@dammittjanet

#miguel o'hara #spiderman across the spider verse #spider man 2099 #miguel o'hara x reader #miguel o'hara fanfic #miguel o'hara fluff #miguel o' hara x you

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chubs-deuce · 2 months

Note

Hello!!! Love love LOVE your Charlastor and Hazbin artwork; your art is amazing!!

I have a feww questions if you’re comfortable with answering them (no worries if not) :D

I love hearing people’s music recommendations, so I was wondering if you listen to music whilst you draw and if there’s any songs in particular that make you think of the characters and/or the ship?

Also, I get a bit nervous posting about Charlastor because of some of the hate it gets in the fandom and because some of my irl classmates who follow me don’t like the ship (and don’t know I like it), so I was wondering what your general mindset is when you post your art online, but also what your mindset is like when posting Charlastor art, knowing what the fandom can be like?

Finallyy, I wanted to ask if you’ve read Under My Skin by whamagram on AO3 and if you have, what are your thoughts on it? It’s a mature slowburn Radiobelle fic and only has a few chapters out so far, but it’s updated pretty regularly and has become my new favourite at the moment! I highly highly recommend it because it’s super well-written, really witty, and really understands the characters. It’s all about Charlie nursing Alastor back to health after the final battle in season 1 and it’s just so well done!!

Again, just want to say that I really really love your work and thank you for sharing it! I especially love how you draw expressions and the way you draw characters and their emotions feels so real. Seeing your illustrations inspires me to keep practicing with my own art!

Omg thank you so much for this lovely ask?!!

I'd be more than happy to answer all of these actually! :D

I am, in fact, the kind of person who looooves finding songs that fit certain characters or ships and make whole playlists over time if I find enough of them, so here's some that made me think of Charlastor (links are all spotify):

- Glass Piano, by Kathleen

- Daisy Bell, and specifically this scuffed computer sung version bc it hits better

- bored like me, by dodie

- Ended with the Night, by Caravan Palace

- I Don't Want To Set The World On Fire, by The Ink Spots

- I Can't Decide, by Scissor Sisters

I have yet to really find more songs specific to the characters as individuals tho lol

----------

As for your next question...

This isn't my first rodeo in the unpopular non-canon het presenting ship club, so there's a few things I like to remind myself of when I feel that people pleaser anxiety sneaking up on me:

if people truly wanted to avoid content of the ship, they'd block the tags. Maybe kindly ask your friend to block the charlastor and radiobelle tags bc you want to post about them? This way they're not forced to see what they dislike and you get to have your harmless fun. If they're opposed to this, question why. It's not your job to curate *their* online experience, they do have all the necessary tools at their disposal.

I consider the source material like a toy box. You can play with the dolls in it like the packaging intended for you to, but there's no rules dictating that you can't play *your* way if that's more fun to you.

Canon is in my eyes the preferred suggestion, but not the law - don't we all just smush the heads of dolls together making kissy noises in our minds at the end of the day?

A lot of people sadly treat shipping like it's a battle for author validation, when in reality it was always just a way to playing with hypotheticals and exploring the world and characters canon offered us in new and interesting ways... I hate the attitude some people have about canonicity. Imo, as long as you're not acting like your non-canon ship should be canon and shit on other ships in the process, you're not doing any harm.

Now... Canon sexualities and having contrary headcanons are a tricky road to travel because there's so much emotional investment in the canon representation of often overlooked or mishandled minority groups, and this is the biggest anti argument I've seen get thrown around, since Charlastor as a ship not only splits up the canon lesbian pairing, but also alters Alastor's canon sexuality to make the ship work.

What's important here is that you handle it respectfully - i.e. don't be a dick and go around acting like your preferred ideas are better and should be canon or whatever. Attitude is important, respect canon for what it is and embrace the fact that your ship is not. It's not a detriment! It just means we have to make all of our own content lol.

I personally headcanon Alastor as demisexual/demiromantic not only because it still fits under the aspec umbrella, but also because I myself am both of those things and enjoy messing with the characters and narrative using a dynamic I have a lot of personal experience with! It's fun to hit someone as haughty and stubbornly emotionally detached as Alastor with a flurry of unexpected, unwanted feelings and struggling to navigate them.

Do I want that to be canon? Absolutely not! I'm just having fun with my imaginative toys in my own corner of the internet lol.

Also for the record, I think Chaggie is cute and they should absolutely stay together, I just don't find them interesting enough to explore further in the realm of fanfiction and art :'D

Ultimately I'm a strong believer of "I can post whatever I want forever", if anyone has an issue with it and the given tools at their disposal aren't enough to deal with it, they're free to unfollow and/or block me! I don't need anyone's approval to have harmless fun with my artistic and writing skills where I don't bother anyone, and that's imo always what should be at the core of creating just about anything.

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OH ALSO I KNOW THAT FIC AND IT'S SOO GOOODDDD I DROP EVERYTHING TO GO READ IT WHENEVER A NEW CHAPTER DROPS

I try my best to leave comments under it wherever I can too bc it genuinely scratches like every itch I have about this ship so well-

The comedy is on point, the dialogue feels so solidly in-character and the pacing and the overall concept just work perfectly!!

10/10 concur as a great recommendation lol

----------

QWQ again, thank you so much for taking the time to type out this lovely ask, I really do appreciate it and the compliments also absolutely made my day!!

I hope you keep having as much fun with this ship as I am, take care!! <3

#chubs answers #charlastor #radiobelle #long post

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bugsbenefit · 1 year

Text

attraction in ST

or. oh god stop stripping the show of it's themes no please no it needs those, stopppp

actually making this post now bc i'm sick of people claiming anything remotely sexual or even kissing happening to the party (an opinion that often pops up in the context of byler) in s5 would be horrible, sexualising, or out of character for the show

ST has always had a realistic approach to kids growing into their sexualities. the show's never shied away from directly addressing sex and sexual feelings so i'm honestly amazed by the extremely puritan interpretation of the show. i'm assuming, in good faith, that a big part of it is coming from people not having seen the actual show in ages and are just forgetting how explicitly the show handles sexuality. instead of just assuming it's from culturally raised christian people, who feel uncomfortable seeing any portrayal of sexuality, no matter how tasteful or realistic

i'm also saying all this as an ace person myself, i get not being into sex and not wanting to see it. however, refusing to acknowledge entire themes of a fictional show just because i don't experience them is bizarre to me. sexuality is vitally important to a lot of the characters and isn't just there to be fun(gross). essentially, ST is the opposite of porn without plot

so just as a little reminder what's actually IN Stranger Things. canonically.

sorry i had this sc for ages and wanted to include it Somewhere, so here you go. at a little starter... dorry

also this is an old draft seeing the light of day now, if anything's worded weird it's bc i didn't read all of it over again so oops, grammar hard?

TLDR: the show has never shied away from explicitly addressing sexuality. buying into the puritan fanon version of the show is going to make your s5 viewing experience worse because that show doesn't exist

season 1

we're starting the show off with Stancy, which is very sexually charged in general. (even in s4 Nancy still experiences physical attraction to Steve despite them having unchanged compatibility) the plot surrounding them in s1 explicitly focuses on Nancy having sex with Steve and later regretting that choice. the scene that everyone remembers, is of course, the "explicit" (not really, because ST is really tasteful with how it shows these teens explore themselves) sex scene

they're in sophomore and junior year of highschool here. around 15 and 16 years old - yet the show doesn't shy away from letting them figure things out. and it's not like this sexual theme is contained in only that scene. it keeps coming back the whole season as Nancy tries to sort her feelings out and deals with the aftermath of that night

also sidenote here while still at Steve and his party: even Steve's friends are very casual with their sexualities. and yes, they can even explicitly mention sex and specific sexual acts, no holding back here

Nancy's character conflict in s1 very much hinges on her sexuality and sexual themes. and it's not like there is a magic you need to be at least this old rule to know what sex is on the show like so many people seem to believe, because even 12 year old Mike seems to very much know what his sister and Steve are up to. he even goes out of his way to use it against her

iconic line! but i've seen insane takes trying to spin this into something not alluding to something sexual. i'm sorry to say if he doesn't think they're full on having sex he at least thinks they're getting very intimate with each other regardless

so not even the youngest characters on the show are "innocent and pure" the way fandom likes to claim when it comes to sexuality. and of course they aren't. real 12 year olds know what sex is, they're young not oblivious

and the following seasons make that even more obvious

season 2

as of s2 the kids are getting more involved with the sexual jokes, not just making them about other people but even being directly involved with those themes themselves. which is also realistic. with 13 sexuality starts to get thrown your way by every possible form of media. lots of them start developing crushes, have no idea how relationships work, etc. it's messy, typical teens thrown into the dating game. (i say all of this from a developmental media psychology perspective thanks uni and not personal experience sorry lmao, i'm a bit too ace to have my own input here)

s2 features comedic and awkward mentions of sex(ual activity) towards Lucas and Max,

older peers giving their 13 year old friends well meant advice on how relationships work,

and has even younger characters play around with attraction/kissing/love as well, which is incredibly normal for kids to do at that age

they're all young and the show treats growing up realistically. while the theme of attraction or sexuality gets more relevant for them (in scenes that are often received with awkwardness by the characters themselves) the show offers them safe territory to stand on. none of them are directly confronted with sexuality and are instead offered people to seek advice from for example

meanwhile the sexuality theme for the older kids is still very much explicit. just as Nancy's arc is still heavily tied to her romance and sexuality (which ties into her non conformity themes - she's an ambition driven person trying to escape the culdesac life first and foremost)

not only do we get another sex scene (this time with a cut away), there's also explicit jokes about it after

sexuality on the show is continuously awkward and messy. Jonathan and Nancy are only 16-17 here - no one really knows what they're doing or what the right way to go ahead is and Jonathan rightfully almost does a spittake here. out of pocket Murray

sexuality. is. awkward. (we get is s2 thanks)

season 3

s3 gets even more explicit with it's awkward puberty sexuality themes

from Dustin talking about how much he likes kissing Suzie (and her liking him not having teeth for it?) which weirds Steve out to the repeating, awkwardly received, "happy screams joke" (which gets a callback in later scene)

sexuality is still awkward for them. it's a realistic approach to what 14 year olds act like and know. they're actively dating by now, they're kissing people And have messy relationship situations. all while still acknowledging knowing what sex and attraction is, duh, of course they know that. but i'm explicitly pointing it out because i see obscene amounts of people claiming the characters are completely sheltered and even implying that they know what sex is would be gross. to that i say, do you not remember being 14???

and while i'm at s3, also let it be mentioned that even the adults are suffering at the hands of the sexuality theme here. Hopper's hookups with random women are focused on in s1, but now that he's getting closer with Joyce they get very explicitly told to just have sex. literally

not putting the whole dialogue in here, i already have too many images because there's so many sex mentions in this show and he really just tells them their mating ritual is painful and they should tear their clothes off and fuck right now

thanks Murray, always insightful

season 4

and s4 has stopped just confronting the kids with the existence of sexuality, but is tentatively starting to explore mature themes more directly - which allows them to tentatively start exploring their own sexualities instead of just having to acknowledge the general concept of sexuality

Max gets to ogle shirtless Steve

Lucas has something under his bed that's never confirmed as anything except "100/10 gross" but had 90% of the audience i saw immediately assume something sexual (magazines or the like)

and has a bunch more direct nudges, from the kids "experimenting sexually" as Murray says

to Argyle explicitly telling Jonathan he needs to have sex with Nancy again

to Hopper and Joyce's escalating make out in a church while shirtless

to visual innuendos (i'm looking at you hose scene. this one wouldn't be such a big deal if there wasn't a genuine moral panic about it last year. which was crazy. people literally had to pretend the scene didn't exist to escape the witchhunting mobs, except instead of being killed for magic it'd be for looking at a canon scene and acknowledging it. crazy times - aside from that there's also more visuals you can take as innuendos in s4e1 which there's already posts about out there so i'm not getting into them here, i'm more focused on the overt textual references)

to Yuir extensively talking about pleasing women and making them cum (I'm sparing you from that, the sc in at the top was already enough)

to explicit graffities all over the place, like here as an example "give me head until i'm dead" which is in frame for the whole phone call and Steve talking about his bitchlesness. and is also some of the only easily legible text (i hope this is readable, most of my screenshots kind of died a bit so maybe you need to look at an actual clip to see the text)

that is aside from the "DRUGS" poster which touches on another point s4 makes. the show doesn't just explore sexuality, it also puts the kids into more mature situations in general (not talking about the deaths, this is a horror show), specifically drugs

Jonathan uses weed as a coping mechanism the whole season and Eddie even sells the stuff in full bags (insane weed selling practices btw, even i know that). Chrissy (17-18) wants to do weed and ketamine. and we also see Lucas (14) hungover after drinking at a party for the first time

the show does not shy away from portraying realistic teen experiences

Murray called s4 very well, the kids pound some bears, smoke some ganja, play nintendo, and experiment sexually

literally. you have drinking, weed, and confusing queer sexualities. they took this list step by step

and all of those pretty normal things teens tend to explore. and i say that as someone who was decidedly not into those things. the ace experience is a bit different, but i can still acknowledge how that period was like for my allo friends and people in general

there is an extreme push in this fandom to reject any form of sexual jokes or references in the show, made mostly by people being uncomfortable with portrayals of sexuality. however, the themes not only still exist, they're also very prominent throughout all 4 seasons and are important to a lot of the characters directly

and it's also noteworthy here to see how ST approaches it's sexuality theme. it grows with the characters. starting out as jokes and being received with awkwardness to slowly letting them figure things out on their own time and turns. an extremely realistic progression and very common for coming of age narratives such as ST. it's a far cry from shows exploring sexuality or sexual themes for the sake of the viewers enjoyment like Euph0ria (don't want it to show up in tags)

based on what we currently know s5 could very well be taking place in 1988 or later which would place the party at around 16-17 years old. going into the season with the fanon version of the show that is completely clean and non sexual will 100% set you up for disaster

ST is very realistic and non exploitative with it's exploration of teen sexuality so there is obviously nothing to worry about in the sexualization department, that's just puritan fear mongering. however, it's very likely that we're going to get more than holding hands or pecks on the lips from the characters that are now older than characters we've explicitly seen hook up before. there could be more intimate scenes or making out, yes. but there's also at least one basically guaranteed vulgar joke in there, all seasons have them

there's no real theorizing or speculation about s5 here, anything could happen and i'm not placing bets, i want the characters narratives to be wrapped up well first and foremost and trust the writers to do it well. however, going into s5 with some of the mindsets i've seen circulating on here and expecting the show to be "clean" and cater to a version of it that's never existed outside of purified fandom could genuinely make you feel blindsided by the shows canon themes

not targeted at anyone or anything specifically, just using this as a bit of a reality check of what the show is actually like after recently rewatching all of it in one go

#stranger things #you see people here get attacked for harmless kissing fics bc it's 'too sexual' meanwhile the canon show has teens explicitly having sex #the contrast is just crazy #lets not pretend half the show doesn't exist just bc it makes you uncomfortable #byler #because it's Relevant in that tag lmao #finally posting this older one (i'm even tagging it bc i'm so brave) since we're finally starting to be able to talk about the show like #you'd talk about any other show normally #and we're ignoring the puritans #sure why not talk more about the canon show

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