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absent-o-minded · 11 months

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Jesper and Inej Deleted Scene - Analysis

Scenes get cut for various different reasons, whether it comes down to lack of episode/season placement, running times, not fitting an intended vibe/tone etc. However, that doesn't mean that some resigned part of me will not be upset that this scene was not included, because it instantly became one of my favourites of S2.

So, here are some thoughts:

A beautiful thing about Inej is that she only lets others know of her presence should she want them too. She is a master of anonymity. Multiple times throughout both seasons, we see this happen. In the very first episode of S1, she lingers by the window, an implicit signal to Kaz that she is present. It also echoes in her choices to be deliberately known of, such as in S2 with the taxidermist, where she intentionally makes her entrance known, instead of slipping in through some crevice. Always, her choices are driven and deliberate.

Throughout both the books and the show, Jesper is constantly spooked at Inej's sudden appearance. He is a character who is constantly in motion, so the art of invisibility is something he reacts to. But this is the first instance where he is not surprised. From the dialogue, "You're not coming back to Ketterdam, are you?", he already anticipated that Inej was leaving. He also, in knowing Inej, knew that she wouldn't leave without saying goodbye.

I think it's partly because Inej wanted Jesper to know that she was there, and what she was there for, but also because this moment was not a surprise. To anyone. Back in S1, Jesper already says "I don't have a say in what you do with your shot of freedom." As much as Kaz gives him slack for being impulsive, for missing the small details, Jesper foresaw Inej leaving way before Kaz did.

"I was already the looks of the operation, guess I'm going to have to be the heart too."

I love this line so much. I think it captures not only their relationship, but also their positions in the Dregs/Crows as a collective unit. Inej's heart is big enough to swell an ocean. It's repeatedly spoken about in the duology how Inej was the clue to the whole gang. She was the clasped hands, the tape, the glue and the bridge, holding everyone together. This is why everything goes into disarray when she is taken by Jan, and why certain pairs reach their most tense. Her unwavering faith, and her hope, and her rational, is just part of why the Crows survive the broken world the way that they do.

But, this also references that Jesper was very much secure in not being the heart of the operation, because he doesn't see himself fit to be that. Or more so, he doesn't give himself the credit that he could equally be the heart of the operation. He dismisses his contributions under the usual humorous guise, playing his role for laughs. He tries to deflect from sentimentality in the same way that he tries to avoid any emotionally charged moments.

What he doesn't realise is that it's that same humour that breaks the tension, that offers a comfort amidst certain doom, that serves as a catharsis to bracket everything in between. And that in all of his worrying of 'Can they see right through me?', Inej did something worse. She saw him.

I think that for Inej and Jesper, they are a comfort for one another. Most noticeably because Inej feels comfortable enough to cry in front of Jesper. One of the strongest forces allowing herself to be vulnerable, because she trusts him.

It's also interesting that Inej decides to cover her face, or to obscure her expression whilst she cries, because it suggests that there is still a barrier. Amita mentioned in a panel how Inej's trauma is always at the forefront of her mind, and through choosing to cover her face, it harks back to the repression of emotion that Inej was forced to learn in order to survive at the Menagerie. All of the feigned emotions, the expressions that were purchasable, the proposed fantasy that choked the reality, all of it bleeds through.

You can argue that through being the glue, Inej is given some sort of an unfair burden, but it's important to note that whilst she may be the glue, every other member is a stick that holds her up. They all bat back at Kaz when his reluctance to communicate and stubbornness takes over: "Is Inej going to be okay?", "You know, Inej took some serious damage.", "You might want to keep your Wraith grounded for awhile."

This scene is just so OJSW''LLDJIOEJ GOD-

Jesper's initial response to Inej standing and walking over to him is just to stand there. He makes no hurried movements to immediately comfort her, nor does he step away to give some supposed space. He stands, staring at her face, to give her a moment of un-broken presence. But also, he is considerate of the temperature of the moment. Perhaps he isn't sure what to do with himself in a moment like this, and for once is worked into stillness. Perhaps it's because he respects Inej's choices, both with her life and with her relationships, and let's her have control over any physical affection. Maybe, he's just trying to prolong talking with her, to savour it.

I just think that her scrunching her fists in his waistcoat and gently tugging him forward is such a brilliant show of their brother/sister relationship. It's childish. It's wholesome. It's an action that young children will do, but it fits so well.

You know when the found family starts found family-ing? That's the good shit.

Initially, I had to go back through the books to see if I had missed Harij as a character, but then remembered that one of the changes they made for the adaptation is to give Inej a brother. It could've just been added as an additional motive for Inej to go looking for her family, but I think that it's interesting how it changes the relationships of the OG Crows with Jesper, because both Kaz and Inej now have a brother. In a way, Kaz and Inej are grounded on the fact that they are given the same thing worth fighting, even killing for. More importantly though, they both have something to mirror Jesper.

They both see him as a brother. Kaz, in his own cynical and not entirely healthy way, models Jesper after Jordie. He rinses Jesper's impulsivity because he is worried about where it might lead him. He delivers him hard truths to protect him. He loves him, but will never say it outright - "Tell Jesper that he's missed. Around the Slat."

In being taken away from her brother, Inej has followed the same thing. She doesn't say, "But you, Jesper, are my brother too" because she doesn't need to. He is categorised as closely as family. It's ironic, in this scene, because Inej hopes to "reunite" her family, but in doing so, she has to separate herself from her second family.

For both of them, Jesper fills that tiny void. They see their brothers, both the lost and the gone, in Jesper's unrelenting closeness.

I am....unwell over this screenshot.

Physical affection and intimacy, regardless of its intention or form, is so complex when considering Inej's trauma. "Even now, a boy will smile at me on the street, or Jesper will put his arm around my waist, and I feel like I'm going to vanish."

Initially, Inej doesn't immediately respond. In a sudden burst of decisiveness, or comfort, or guilt, Jesper hugs her tightly. Because of their height difference, he has to physically bend down to do so. And Inej doesn't, or rather cannot, return it without registering it first. (I love the hallucination scene as much as the next person, but I really do feel like it was a missed opportunity to delve into Inej's backstory).

But then, she does. She shows strength in allowing herself to have this moment.

Inej Ghafa, who once said that she would never miss Ketterdam, now saying that she will miss what, or who, was there.

I just think that this is so lovely in illustrating how close Inej and Jesper are, and how in pursuing her own life and reaching far beyond what was chosen for her, Inej is still anchored in her love for her family.

And again, Jesper deflects with, "Oh yeah. Course you will." because he doesn't want himself to stint Inej's life further. He doesn't want to prevent Inej from going, or for her to be far out at sea, ruminating over how she misses them all. If he had explicitly said, "I'll miss you too", I think that it definitely wouldn't leave Inej's mind. It's too close to his heart to admit that he'll miss her just as much, maybe even more than she could, if that's even possible. Even in the ASOCAS2 Panel, Kit said that without Inej, Jesper would be an emotional wreck.

There is a sort of unspoken understanding that passes between them. She knows that he won't say it back, otherwise it's too real, too fresh, and he'll have to confront the fact that she really is going. He knows that she really means it.

This sequence of affection only further solidifies the trust between the two, but it also shows that to compensate for his lack of words, Jesper kisses the two places that are most significant - Her hand and her head.

It's this subtle signal that Jesper appreciates Inej most for not what she represents (sincerity, hope, the last ounce of good in this broken band of dolls) but for what she does. The hand that prays and wields the knife. The same hand that holds him. The head that remains hopeful. The same head that rests against him. It's a really beautiful moment. Whether it was intentional or not, we will never know.

I also think that this moment is important for Jesper in terms of trust. He is so often left out of the loop, or doubted before he has even begun, that his trust starts to waver. But, to know that Inej is comfortable enough to let herself be vulnerable, to trust him enough to say goodbye, is a comfort for him. Jesper is a secret sentimentalist. He may use humour as his mechanism, but beneath that, he will cherish that Inej let him properly say goodbye.

"Where're you going now?" / "To say my prayers"

For once, Inej leaves in the open light, and Jesper watches her go. There are no shadows for her to slip into. There is only the sun, the open of the hills, and Jesper, stood by rocks. Inej's faith is so integral to her character, and I was really happy that this was not dulled down in the book to screen adaptation process.

Jesper just clicks his fingers and nods, looking down at his feet. He would never ask her to stay. That is the arc that is reserved for Kaz, who is initially selfish but desperate, but then grows to actively help Inej achieve her freedom.

The issue is that Jesper is usually the one who walks away. But this time, he is having to watch his closest friend do it. And it's like watching a sister leave.

It's all shits and giggles until the comic relief breaks down.

Unlike Inej, Jesper waits until she is out of ear-shot, walking down the hill or turned round the corner, for it all to come out.

But even then, it's stifled. It's like he's gripped by his sadness suddenly, like Inej physically leaving opened some repressed emotion that Jesper knew was bubbling to the surface, but was trying to keep down. He suddenly feels the weight of her absence. He realises the potential that he might never see her again. He wipes his hand over his face, he scratches at his neck. Her departure is already itching away at his skin. Everything comes in one big wave, like he was trying to will it into not being permanent, but knowing that it very well might be.

I also think that this ending is great, but Jesper can't use humour to distract himself. After the hallucination scene in Ep6(7?), Jesper comes to and then asks if anyone else's dream was one of "happiness or joy", which clearly, was not the case at all for any of the other Crows. But here, in this secluded part of a hill, Jesper is left out in the open and unravelling.

______________

For me, one of the main appeals of the Crows is their relationships. I love the romantic ships as much as the next fan, and I think that they are so nuanced and well-written. But, I also love the Crows for their fearsome friendships.

Inej has incredible friendships with pretty much every crow which is shown in numerous brilliant moments in the books, but there are some great and (probably) underappreciated platonic relationships like: Kaz and Wylan ("You're letting shame decide who you are."), Jesper and Matthias ("I can hear you, Fahey"), Nina and Kaz ("Talk to me when you've done something about that terrible haircut") etc etc

#shadow and bone #six of crows #crooked kingdom #tv analysis #literature #inej ghafa #jesper fahey #their friendship is so special to me #and it's so beautiful #i have been thrown back into the trenches of my Six of Crows hyperfixation I am so sorry #this is perhaps reigniting a special interest that has led dormant for a few years #I really want to do more analysis/commentary posts abt the Duology x TV adaptation bc I think it's interesting #give me the Season 3 renewal please #give me the SOC spin-off please #i lose a speck of my sanity each day without an announcement #PLEASE I BEG #writing #shadow and bone season 2

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lovewoodvn · 2 years

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Hey!! just a quick OC ask for Moth and Aleth,,, 26, 42, and 48? also,, do you have a favourite (if any which character and why)? thank you :3

Of course! Let's start out with Moth for this one :D 26. Guilty Pleasure Honestly, romance novels. Not just fancy poetic ones, he reads cheesy and smutty ones too. Even if they're bad, he loves ranting about the awful tropes in them! 42. What's the dumbest thing he has done? Insulting Blossom's mom, when he only really knew the Bonesborrow family from his parents' gossip. Blossom was so upset that she shoved him onto the compost pile in retribution. This was before they became friends XD

48. What was his highest point and lowest point? Moth's lowest point was probably when he was a young teen and slowly came to realize how messed up his family situation was - How the way his parents treated him was neither normal nor healthy - and how he would be stuck in this environment for a long time. That, paired with the realization that he had been kind of a douche to others up to that point, was very sobering. It also made him want to change, and find something he could hold on to. He had a lot of high points in his life, usually connected to peace, pride and connection to others. I feel like you may find one if you play Invisible Seams all the way to the end~

Moving on to Aleth! 26. Guilty Pleasure Fancy soaps and candy! Especially ones that are very particular to a small area. Usually they always want to save up and cut corners, but they love to spend a bit of their earnings on treats that remind them of the different places they've visited. 42. What's the dumbest thing they have done? Visiting a lycan town with their cart despite not having any clue how the local customs work. They had to bail before things got too chaotic, but at least it was an important learning experience. (Note to self: Don't pee at random trees, they'll think that you're marking your territory.)

48. What was their highest point and lowest point? For their lowest point, they may not openly admit it, but they're still beating themselves up a little about the night when they got their curse. Mostly because it was such a preventable accident. While they can deal with the consequences fine, that moment at the inn when their potion exploded into their face and as their brother came to check on them, their words came out twisted - It was scary. Because it was fully uncertain what had happened and how things would develop, just the vague awareness that their life had changed in that moment. For their highest point: When they were entrusted with doing a trading trip on their own for the first time, they were incredibly nervous at first. But they ended up doing a stellar job! The next time they met up with their family, celebrations were in store and it felt like they had progressed greatly on their way to becoming independent.

Lastly, I don't think I can pick a favourite XD They're all comfort characters for different situations, so I feel more connected to any of them depending on what's going on in my life. Which I think is a good sign!

#ask #turnee #dev talks #lovewood #aleth #misc art #blossom #moth #Thank you so much for the nice ask! <3

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faetarou · 3 years

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𝐬𝐡𝐮𝐭 𝐮𝐩 || 𝐭𝐬𝐮𝐤𝐢𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐦𝐚 𝐤𝐞𝐢

fandom || haikyuu

pairings || tsukishima kei x reader

gender || fem!reader

request || anon said: Hi! Do you think I could get a scenario where fem reader has a crush on And is friends with him but doesn’t confess because she feels like she’s too loud and annoying? And then she ends up confessing on accident and tries running away but then gets caught by Tsukki? I love him so much but my extroverted self gets carried away 😭😭 [from fae: that's super cute, sure thing !! i'm a bit of an extrovert too, so dw, we love you !! btw, my friend said tsukki should catch y/n with a fishing rod and you're damn lucky that's not in the final plot lmao]

warnings // disclaimers || swearing, bit of angst, tsukki is a bitch, y/n's a little insecure but aren't we all

word count || 1.2k

taglist || @crystal-lilac , @kenmaslov3r [you can send me an ask or dm to be added !!]

Y/L/N Y/N SWORE SHE DIDN'T mean to be so 'annoying' all the time. It was in her very nature to be enthusiastic, and she showed her affection loudly as a default reaction.

But she always, always, no matter how much she pulled back, ended up annoying the one person she didn't want to.

Tsukishima Kei, though he was easily the smartest person in their whole class, was a quiet introvert with a hell of a scathing tongue when it came to it - quick to deliver insults and just as quick to shut right back up after them. He also happened to have an insanely handsome smirk, and Y/N found it unfairly attractive the way he would push his glasses up his nose with two fingers and then run a hand through his sandy hair whilst making some (probably rude comment).

And, if there was one person was the polar opposite of extroverted, energetic, Y/N, it was Tsukishima.

Somehow, they had become friends against all laws of society, but the girl often found herself noticing just how precarious their relationship was. Filled with her loud jokes and his quickly-made retorts, the things he said were often bordering on mean.

Yet, Y/N still found herself falling for her friend, but the situation was ... complicated.

She wanted desperately to confess and get it out of the way, but she was afraid of how Tsukishima would react: how he would tell her she was too loud, too annoying, to even be worthy of his attention.

His favourite words to her were 'shut up' after all.

Every time she cracked a joke, or made a teasing comment, he would do the same thing: roll his hazel eyes, push his glasses up his nose with his middle and ring fingers, and say "Shut up, Y/L/N," in the most bored tone possible.

Y/N began to wilt at the words.

Our friendship feels like it's crumbling, or poisoning me.

Still, she found herself unable to stifle her infectious bursts of energy, and feared making him grow increasingly annoyed at her until she became just another Hinata to him.

Meanwhile, Tsukishima was beating himself up on the daily for the way he was talking to Y/N. It was his very nature to be blunt, and the poor guy really had no clue on how to speak to anyone, let alone an enthusiastic, pretty girl who was constantly by his side.

Shut up, he said.

Stop talking and kiss me, maybe, he meant.

It was a stupid thought, but one brought on by spending months in her presence - months of seeing her stupid smile and hearing her stupid laugh on the daily, and hating himself for hoping for the impossible.

Tsukishima had never been one to hope.

He instead, infused all his feeling into those two short words, shut up, but they never came out with affection. He instead flashed through immediate guilt as Y/N lowered her head, not making another joke or touching him for the next few minutes.

Goddamnit.

Y/N was beginning to wonder if it was even worth liking Tsukishima at all. There was obviously no hope for requited affection, and didn't even know if they were friends anymore.

"H-hey, Tsukishima," she asked him after class, her mind having been filled with doubtful thoughts all day. "Are we still friends?"

He gave her a look that practically screamed dumbass over his thin glasses. "What makes you think we're not?"

Y/N kept her tone as light and cheerful as it normally was, but a little bit of doubt had been seeping into her voice. "I just- I don't know, sorry. Do you want me to stop talking to you all the time?"

"Well, I just-" Tsukishima gave an evident sigh, pushing his glasses up his nose and pulling back to give a more measured response. "Why do you even hang out with me? We're nothing alike."

A flash of hurt stung Y/N to the core, and she again wondered what she even saw in him. The question provoked her to the point where she lost her filter, and before she could stop herself, she was replying, "I don't know, maybe it's because you're hot."

She immediately slapped a hand over her mouth, cursing herself for always being so damn loud and talkative, not even stopping to see the look on Tsukishima's face as she sprinted from the room, her breath coming short in horrified gasps.

Oh, shit. Fuck, fuck ...

Y/N barely made it twenty steps from the classroom, the school's halls empty enough given they'd stayed ten minutes after the end of classes, before a hand latched onto her wrist and forced her to spin around. She already knew who had caught her, and turned with an embarrassed flush, but she didn't expect what came next.

Tsukishima advanced towards her a couple steps, her momentum sending her back colliding painfully with the concrete wall, and, before she had the chance to react, she was caged between his forearms, both resting beside her head as he leaned stupidly close, his back arched just enough to bring their faces level.

"Hmm?"

The sound was a little more than a hum from his lips as he inched forwards just the slightest amount, his smirk never faltering in a way that made her heart race.

"What did you say?"

Somehow, he'd performed a full one-eighty from the boy constantly hushing her, and Y/N's ridiculous extroversion was helpless against that look.

"You're hot," she repeated. "I like you."

Tsukishima gave a huff of a laugh, like he almost couldn't believe it, before narrowing the distance between them so greatly that their noses were brushing in a burning point of contact, Y/N's eyes wide, wide open.

"Hey, Y/L/N?" he smirked, the words a warm, pleasant breath upon her skin. "Shut up."

Finally, finally, their lips met, not that there'd been that much distance between them, and Y/N closed her eyes, pressing forwards to wrap her arms around Tsukishima somewhere, anywhere, just to deepen the joyous flips in her stomach as he showed feeling. For her.

Finally, finally, they separated, the tall boy leaning back and towering above her, his arms back at his sides rather than trapping her against the wall. A sudden spark of damn, I like being annoying, flashed through Y/N, and she took opportunity of the hazy, distracted satisfaction in Tsukishima's eyes to leap forwards, spinning around so that he was suddenly the one caught.

After all, their dynamic had always been just slightly tipped in her favour.

"You're cute," he replied, his cheeks practically burning with red as a little bit of shyness reclaimed him.

"Yeah, sure, that's what you've been saying," she teased, nevertheless leaning in again, on her tiptoes this time.

"Oh, shut up."

࿐ 𝐟𝐚𝐞'𝐬 𝐬𝐨𝐫𝐛𝐞𝐭, 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐞 𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤 𝐬𝐨𝐨𝐧 !!

#raspberry sorbet #order for: anon #haikyuu #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu fluff #haikyuu angst to fluff #haikyuu oneshots #tsukishima #tsukishima kei #tsukishima x reader #tsukishima kei x reader #tsukishima fluff #tsukishima kei fluff #karasuno #karasuno x reader #fae's sorbet

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lillywillow · 3 years

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Swapped

Summary: When you lose your grandfather’s pocket watch, you pick up a stranger’s compass by mistake.

Word Count: 1096

Square Filled: Steve’s Compass

Pairings: Steve x Reader

Warnings: Maybe the tiniest bit of angst if you squint

@star-spangled-bingo

When your grandfather passed away, one of the things he left to you was his pocket watch. It was worth quite a bit of money but to you, that didn’t matter; it was the sentimental value that was important to you. Your grandfather received it on his 21st birthday, he carried it throughout his time in the army and because of that watch, he met your grandmother. The watch held a picture of her inside. You carried it everywhere with you, keeping it in pristine shape. Your grandfather’s pocket watch was your most prized possession.

...

One afternoon, you were in a big rush to catch a particular store before they closed. You were in such a hurry, you didn’t notice when a person walked into your path, causing you to collide, sending both of you to the ground.

“Ow...” the man groaned.

“Oh my gosh! I’m so sorry!”

You scrambled to your feet to help the stranger up. He smiled sheepishly and got to his feet. You were both dusting yourselves off when you realised you were missing something. The pair of you searched the ground in a panic before picking up your lost items with a sigh of relief.

“Oh, shoot! Now I’m really late!” you cried, running off once more. “Sorry again!” you called over your shoulder.

...

Later that day, you took out your father’s pocket watch to check the time when you realised something. The photo of the woman inside the lid was not your grandmother... and this was a compass. Panic rose in your chest. Why did you have this object? You suddenly remembered your collision earlier in the day. This compass must have meant just as much to the man as much as your compass meant to you. He would be long gone from the place you bumped into him but you knew you had to return it to him.

...

Steve had a bad day. He didn’t sleep well the night before meaning he didn’t get up in time for his usual morning jog, nor did he make it to his favourite diner before they stopped serving breakfast, the training session with Nat later in the day had been brutal and to top it all off someone in the park ploughed into him. Steve didn’t really blame the stranger but he was tired and cranky. Wanting to feel a little better, he took out his compass to look at the photo of Peggy only to find not only was this not his compass but the woman was not Peggy. Why did he have this pocket watch? The abrupt crash in the park with the stranger entered his mind. He must have picked it up then by accident. Maybe Stark could help him track down the watch’s rightful owner using facial recognition or whatever it was they used nowadays.

...

Using the newspaper clipping as a clue to the mystery woman’s identity, you were deep into your research, completely forgetting your original mission. Peggy Carter truly was an amazing woman with incredible accomplishments. She was definitely the type of strong female role model you looked up to. You jumped as your phone rang, the sound pulling you from your thoughts.

“Hello?” you answered.

“Hi. Um... is Y/N L/N?” a male’s voice asked on the other end of the line.

“Yes, it is. Who may I ask is calling?”

“My name is Steve Rogers. I think we bumped into each other at the park... literally.”

“Oh, it’s you! I’m so glad you called. I have been doing research to find the rightful owner of the compass... how did you get my number?”

“I have a friend who helped me track down any living relatives of the woman in the compass. I called your father first and he gave me your number...”

“I see... Well, shall we meet up? I imagine you’re just as anxious to get your compass back as I am to get my watch back.”

“I am...”

After arranging a time, a place and what you would both be wearing so you could correctly identify each other, you hung up.

...

A while later, you were sitting at a cafe nearby waiting for Steve when a man wearing a blue baseball cap and sunglasses approached you.

“Y/N?” he asked.

“Yes. You must be Steve,” you replied, encouraging him to take a seat as you retrieved the compass.

Steve sat down and got out the watch and soon the pair of you had your items back with a small sigh of relief.

“She was beautiful,” Steve remarked, referring to the photograph.

“She was... my grandfather met her in a watch shop back when he was in the service. Her father owned the shop and he brought this watch in for repairs. He carried her picture in it when he was shipped out as a promise to return to her. When he did, they were always together until the day she passed... the watch brought great comfort to my grandfather, especially when the dementia set in...”

Steve listened to your story with interest. He briefly wondered if it was the kind of story he and Peggy might have had if circumstances had been different.

“Who was Peggy to you?”

Steve looked at you in surprise.

“How did you...?”

“I used the newspaper article to work out who she was so I could try to find you. I got so distracted by everything she did; I forgot to look for any next of kin... so, who was she to you?” you repeated.

Steve became flustered and that’s when it dawned on you.

“Are you...?”

Steve looked at you, silently begging not to blow his cover.

“You really are, aren’t you?”

He nodded and looked at his hands.

“This... this is amazing,” you whispered reverently. “May I buy you a coffee? It’s the least I can do after crashing into you the way I did...”

Steve thought about it for a moment. Perhaps this was the universe telling him to move on and start a new life.

“Sure,” he smiled.

You spent the rest of your day getting to know each other better and swapping stories. In a way, losing your grandfather’s pocket watch was one of the best things that could ever happen to you and Steve could say the same about his compass.

#ssb2021 #Steve's Compass #Swapped #Steve Rogers #steve rogers x reader #steve x reader #captain america #Pocket Watch #meet cute #marvel #marvel fanfiction #Peggy Carter #Grandparents #love story

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shuahoonie · 3 years

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out of love [tom holland]

PAIRING: tom holland x female!reader

SUMMARY: being close friends with your ex is fine, right? even if your love for them was unparalleled among others. even if you were still in the process of moving on from them. even if you know they’re happy with someone else. even if you have no clue whether they loved you like you loved them.

WARNINGS: foul language, so much angst, it starts ok at first then goes downhill from there. i literally write things on the go so i don’t know if this will have fluff at some point

(if it does and i didn’t state it here, send me a cute photo of tom and a message of: ok wow she pulled thru 🤪; and if it doesn’t have fluff, send me a meme and a message of: miss girl i simply cannot today ✋😃)

WORD COUNT: 5.6k

A/N: hello! tonight, we are going to be sad!!! i know i usually like to write about all things fluff, but this?? this is just for me because i am having one of those episodes. i just need to feel something again aside from the stress of writing 3 academic papers per week lmao. i’m def not expecting people to like this type of vibe but yannoe. i apologize in advance.

this is inspired by that one episode from new girl (season 6 x ep 16)

gif credits: @thollandgifs

vanessa’s masterlist | taglist form | part two - pandemonium

“You know, you can still live with us right?” Your friend Maia commented as she placed the box, labelled “fine china that mom gave me but will i ever use them?”, on the kitchen island.

“I know,” You murmured dropping the heavy case of pots and pans on the floor. “But maybe living alone will be good for me.” You replied, forcing a smile. “Besides, I don’t want to int—“

“Hey, Y/N, where do you want this?” Harrison asked as he held out a box that’s labelled with “books that my grandpa passed on. HANDLE WITH CARE!”

“Oh, just set it down on the living room—“ before you could even finish, Harrison dropped the box on the floor as if it was nothing. “Harrison!” You hissed, as you quickly rushed to check on the box.

“Y/N, babe, they’re just books. Surely they can withstand any amount of pressure, yeah?” Haz tried to reassure you.

“Haz, those books are from my grandpa—which I’m sure he got from his grandpa.” You sighed. “They’re really old and fragile, so I just want them to be in a well enough condition to stand in my bookcase.”

“‘m sorry,” He murmured, rubbing the back of his head. “It’s just, why do you have to move out?” Harrison asked, frustrated at the whole thing.

“Like I told Maia, maybe having my own place will be good for me.” You replied calmly, as you neatly put the box filled with your grandpa’s books in the corner room—the initial place where you want to build your bookcase. “It’s been a while since I’ve lived on my own.”

“Yeah,” Harrison acknowledged “But there’s absolutely no reason for you to move out. You can’t possibly leave me with her!” He pointed at Maia who let out an audible gasp. Harrison was being dramatic of course.

“Haz—“ You were trying to fight off a laugh. “You two are my constants and if I became dependant on having you two at my convenience, it’s going to be a huge problem.”

“In my opinion, I don’t see it as a problem.” Maia pointed out childishly. You shook your head in disbelief. You had to move out because you miss having a place to yourself— a place where you can be at your complete worst and you don’t have to think about your friends worrying about you.

Besides, moving out means you don’t have to see Tom that often and that was a bonus in your book. It wasn’t a sour breakup per se, it’s just really difficult to feel happy for your ex when he practically showcases how different he is now with his girlfriend.

You prided yourself as a mature and well-rounded person who could be complete friends with her ex as if that’s normal. You could only keep the façade for so long.

Four months. It’s been four months since you and Tom broke up. You lived with Maia soon after the breakup and that enough was a blessing. Maia couldn’t bear to handle the fact that you would be alone at a time like this. Harrison usually crashes at Maia’s so he was bound to move in with you two. In fact, he was always there more often than you.

That was the point where you were convinced that Harrison liked Maia and that Maia liked Harrison.

Conveniently, you and Tom never ‘officially’ moved in together so you could avoid him freely at all costs.

Of course, that was eventually going to end soon. You and Tom were in the same friend group so you were bound to see each other, much to your dismay. You couldn’t exactly make Harrison and Maia pick friends because it’s not fair for anyone.

You were all friends before you and Tom decided to date. Maybe that’s why people say to never date a friend—especially if they’re near and dear.

You were coming back from work when you found people in the living room, and as if the universe really wanted to test you, it was the least likely people you’d expect to see.

“Y/N!” Maia’s voice was pure panic. “I didn’t know you’d be home this early.”

Your eyes quickly flickered between the two people standing across you before you diverted your attention to Maia. “Uh—yeah. There wasn’t really much to do in the office so I came home early.”

Maia turned to Harrison who was equally lost on how to handle the situation. I mean, who wouldn’t?! What were you supposed to do when your friend drops in unannounced with their new girlfriend and to makes the matters worse, your other friend—whom your friend dated before— decides to come home early?

You didn’t know how what kind of spirit took over your body that prompted you to extend your hand to the girl sitting beside your ex and say: “Hello, I’m Y/N.”

The girl looked surprised but shook your hand in return. “Nadine,” Nadine smiled slyly “I—um, I’m Tom’s girlfriend.”

Tom looked mildly uncomfortable but you chose to ignore it. You were becoming good at that—ignoring Tom.

You returned the smile at Nadine. You could feel the burning stares from your friends, mostly Maia. You cleared your throat and said, “I’ll just be in my room to finish the papers I need to send to my editor if you’ll excuse me.”

Before you left completely, you gave Nadine another smile and said, “It’s nice to meet you again, Nadine.”

You don’t remember how you got to your room but that was the least of your concern. You were just undeniably overwhelmed with what just happened that you didn’t even notice that there was a knock on your door.

When you opened the door, it was the last person you expected to see standing in your doorframe.

“Can we talk?” Tom asked in almost a whisper.

You gave him a half shrug and opened the door slightly wider for him.

“We’re okay, right?” He asked, looking at you in the eye.

At this point, you convinced yourself that you were numb. You never talked about the breakup. You never overtly said anything about what you felt. You felt empty. You convinced yourself that you were empty.

You stared back at Tom and without missing a beat, you replied “Of course. Why shouldn’t we?”

“Just admit that you two will miss me,” You teased, grabbing another box from Maia.

“Only if you admit that you’re moving out for an entirely different reason,” Maia whispered carefully as her eyes flickered towards Tom who was also helping with your move out.

You pressed your lips together and acted like he wasn’t even there. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” You said, you know, like a liar.

You weren’t a vocal person. The idea of talking about your feelings was really difficult for you so you try your best to avoid it. Actually, it’s worse than that. You’d go to extreme lengths to avoid confrontation.

Obviously, it wasn’t healthy. You would always distance yourself whenever you feel emotionally exhausted, and you really meant that distance. It wasn’t bad at first—maybe a day or two was all you needed before you felt comfortable enough to be around people again.

Then it became worse when you were in university. You were beyond unreachable. Aside from being emotionally exhausted, you were mentally drained too. You were always buried with papers and readings which was unavoidable but it took a huge toll on you. So whenever you get a chance to get a break, you completely shut off from people.

Your friends definitely noticed it and they tried their best to help.

Tom was among the people who definitely went out of their way to help you. He would always drop by at your dorm with food or coffee—he would literally just drop them off, most of the time. He would leave small notes that up to this day, you still kept and tucked away in a box.

Both Maia and Harrison followed Tom’s approach. They would all alternate on who’s dropping what and when. Some days, Maia would drop off a new skincare product she’s been using or a lovely box of macarons from your favourite patisserie.

On other days, Harrison would drop off some of his home-cooked meals or maybe a book he saw from a local bookstore—a book that reminded him of you.

Tom was very persistent though. He would sometimes wait out on the hall, just so he could see you and reassure himself (and your friends) that you were okay.

You found it taxing at first—you would often try your best to match the energy from your friends, which only left you exhausted at the end of the day. You wanted space and you clearly weren’t getting that from Tom. You did acknowledge that he only did it out of pure concern.

You often wondered why he did that, staying, but you didn’t ask him. You never did.

Maybe you were afraid that you’d come off as rude or that you’d seem ungrateful for dismissing someone when they’ve clearly taken the time off their day just to check on you.

However, every time you’d open that door, it always seemed that Tom would breathe a huge sigh of relief when you lock eyes. Even if it was just for a quick second. You wondered about that too.

Tom wasn’t really being intrusive. Most of the time, he will leave a few minutes after you’d open the door to get the things your friends would drop off. You’d always ask him if he wants to stay inside for a bit, but he’d always decline.

Except for that one time, though. That one time that you knew you were going to fall in love.

It was the week of midterms and deadlines. You were knee-deep with papers from different classes that demanded to be finished that week, one of which was a research paper that practically tied you to your laptop and made you consume an unhealthy amount of caffeine.

It wasn’t until 2 am when you were about to go on a quick drive to a McDonald’s but saw Tom dozed off in the hallway, his back pressed against the wall.

“Tom,” You shook him gently, trying not to startle him. “Tom, wake up.”

His eyes slowly fluttered open, seemingly disoriented at first but would soon fall into the warm familiarity that your face always brings.

“Why are you sleeping in the hall?” You asked quietly, careful not to make a fuss. The walls in your dorm were very thin and you learned that the hard way. You’d think they’d put a disclaimer about that in the lease when you’re housing a bunch of university students with raging sex drives.

It took Tom a minute to fully comprehend the question, seeing that the bright fluorescent light was being harsh on him and that he’s generally like that when being jolted awake.

“Oh, erm, I—” Tom was finding the right words to use. He can’t exactly exclaim ‘I’ve been worried sick about you!’ out of nowhere. Instead he said, “I was waiting for you to open the door, just to see if you’re alright.”

“All night?”

Tom scratched the back of his neck. “It seemed that way, yeah.” He muttered sheepishly.

You were dumbfounded. Surely this was the first time someone actually fell asleep outside your door, waiting for you to come out. It was sweet but highly unnecessary.

“I was just about to head out and get some McDonald’s, do you wanna come with?” You asked, giving him a hand to hoist himself up.

“I should get going—“

“Have you eaten yet?” You asked cutting him off, taking Tom by surprise. He shook his head no. “Then you should really come.” You said, jingling your car keys in front of him.

Tom was debating whether or not to go with you. It’s been a while since you hung out, but that was the same case for everyone. None of your friends have properly hung out with you ever since the semester started.

Tom should say yes, right?

“Let’s go, Tommy,” You said as you grabbed his hand and dragged him across the hall. “I’ve been staring at my laptop all day and I really need some unhealthy food to balance out the concerning amount of caffeine I’ve consumed.”

“Is that why you’re practically bouncing off the walls?” Tom asked amused, trying to keep up with your pace with your hand holding his.

“Totally,” You grinned at him. “I need to wear out the caffeine or else, I’d have to skip my morning class again.”

“French?”

You nodded. “They’re counting the amount of absences in that class and I really need to keep my shit together.”

“‘m not exactly sure why you took that as an elective,” Tom commented, properly wrapping his hand around yours with fingers interlacing each other.

You tried to ignore it, you really did, but the warm feeling that settled around your stomach drove you crazy.

“Why not? I think it’s cool to learn another language.” You nudged him playfully which he gladly returned.

“I know and trust me, I’m in awe that you’re learning another language! erm—I guess it’s just I feel like you’re overworking yourself too much.” Tom pointed out softly, hoping he didn’t come off as rude or intrusive.

“Eh, I don’t mind.” You replied “It’s what drives me to keep going and for me that’s more than enough. Even if it leaves me little to no sleep, even if it takes too much of my time—it’s enough reason for me to do it.”

Tom stared at you in admiration as soon as those words slipped out your mouth and you didn’t even notice it. You were walking towards the student parking lot, consumed by the twinkling lights from the neighbouring lanes near campus.

Maybe if you weren’t busy consuming the quiet campus grounds, you’d notice the very first time Tom fell in love with you.

“Besides, I know a phrase in french now.”

“Hm—and what’s that, then?”

“Je ne suis pas l’escargot”

“L’escargot? Isn’t that—“

“I am not a snail,” You giggled. “Well, it’s true, isn’t it?”

Tom laughed, “I supposed so.”

Maybe if you weren’t so afraid of confrontation, you’d have an idea of when Tom knew that you were his person.

See, the thing is— you needed to face reality sooner or later and both your friends could see right through it.

“Honestly, Y/N, how on earth can your box of art materials be this heavy—” Tom appeared in front of the door frame, heaving as he carried the box from two flights of stairs.

You quickly averted your gaze from Maia, who was staring at you expectantly, and cleared your throat. “You can just set them by the door, Tom. I don’t know where to put them yet.” You said as you tried your best to act normal.

“You sure? They’re a tad heavy and I don’t want you to strain yourself.” Tom asked with furrowed brows.

All you could do was nod. The last thing you wanted was Tom’s focused attention on you.

“If you say so,” Tom sighed in defeat “I’m going to grab more boxes—Baby, you don’t have to carry that!” Tom was quick to disappear as he urgently dashed towards his girlfriend, Nadine.

“Oh, but I want to help, Tommy.” You heard Nadine say sweetly, assuming she was also pouting.

You could see Maia roll her eyes, urging you to give her a nudge and a taunting look. “Maia,” you called her out, silently pleading her to stop.

Maia settled down but she wasn’t exactly calm about it either. “I’m still not sure why she’s here.” She murmured. You and Harrison were close enough that you can hear her rambles—which was expected from her anyway.

Maia and Nadine go way back—like toddlers and playgrounds kind of way. Though that sounds figuratively adorable in a way, Maia and Nadine never got along.

Nadine used to date Maia’s brother, which already caused Maia a great demise. As one could expect, the relationship didn’t end well. She left him out of nowhere, saying she needs to find herself—or something along those lines.

A week after the breakup, what Nadine found was herself in the arms of another man. Of course, Maia’s brother was devastated—He truly loved Nadine. Maia had to be the pillar that her brother leaned on. It took Maia a great amount of time to help her brother pick up the pieces that Nadine left.

So yeah—Maia wasn’t thrilled when she heard that Tom was Nadine’s new boyfriend.

“She offered to help, Mai,” You whispered “Who am I to deny help?”

Maia looked at you as if you managed to empty your head while you were moving in between flats. “She’s been after me ever since we were kids. She’s also the reason why it took my brother months to get out of bed,” Maia deadpanned “and She’s Tom’s new girlfriend. Remember Tom? Your ex?” She said rather loudly.

You gave her a tiny pinch on her arm, causing her to yelp. “Maia, are you nuts?!”

Harrison left the two of you so he could grab more boxes, while you and Maia bickered silently amongst each other.

“You are thicker than I thought—Seriously, Y/N. Quit pinching me!” Maia aggressively rubbed her arm.

“They’re going to hear you!” You hissed. “The last thing I want is for those two to get involved.”

“Babe, they’re already involved. Tom, especially.” Maia remarked. “I see the way you look at Tom. I also see the pain you feel whenever he’s with she who must not be named.”

“I’m not doing this Maia,” you mumbled as you walked past her. Your objective was now to help Harrison with the remaining boxes. Your objective was anything but to talk about you and Tom.

“You have to face it sooner or later, Y/N.” Maia called out “I’m not leaving you or this apartment until you tell me what really happened.”

“What’s going on?” Harrison asked as he entered the apartment, carrying three sets of boxes. You grabbed one from him and actively avoided his question.

Before Maia could reply, Tom and Nadine appeared on the doorframe, with Nadine practically glued to Tom.

“Harrison got the last remaining boxes so we’re heading off now,” Tom announced as Nadine’s face painted with clear desperation to get out of your place. “Are we still going bowling tonight?” Tom asked before Nadine whispered something in Tom’s ear and left.

“I’m actually exhausted so I’ll pass,” You answered, obviously avoiding spending time with your ex and his current girlfriend. You’re not that pathetic.

“Same might actually have to just drink the night away,” Maia responded with a grin.

“Well, there’s no way I’m third-wheeling so I’m good,” Harrison said as he threw himself towards the plush teal couch that you snagged from a flea market.

For the tiniest second, Tom seemed disappointed but gave a tight-lipped smile. “Oh, maybe we can reschedule our bowling night, then?” He asked. “It’s not as fun to go bowling with just the two people.”

You, Harrison, and Maia all shared a look. You weren’t on board with bowling-night, to begin with, but you didn’t want Tom to feel as if you were avoiding him—which you were but no one needs to know that.

Maia looked at you, waiting for an answer because god knows she will solely depend on her decision based on yours. You don’t even have an answer, to begin with.

“What are you two supposed to do then?” Harrison asked Tom. Thank god for Harrison.

“I might take Nadine to this poetry jam event that she’s been dying to go to” Tom replied with a soft voice.

“A poetry night?” Maia almost wanted to laugh “You don’t even have the slightest interest in literature, Tom.” Maia didn’t mean to offend him or maybe she did? She wasn’t completely fond of Tom ever since you and Tom broke up—well, she wasn’t fond of the idea that Tom was dating her ‘arch nemesis’, but Tom was her friend and so were you.

“I know that, Mai.” Tom rolled his eyes “but Nadine likes it and I’ll do everything to make her happy.” That left a bitter taste in your mouth.

“If you say so,” Maia murmured before she took a quick look at you. She looked like she wants to give you the biggest hug. But you held a stoic look on your face—something that you picked up because you were afraid of confrontation.

“I’m serious,” Tom defended, lost in his feelings, which only irked Maia even more.

“I know, I heard you— we heard you,” Maia replied, her face showing only one emotion: annoyed. “God, read the room,” Maia grumbled to herself. Harrison had to reach for her hand, urging her to calm down.

“I really love her,” Tom whispered. That left a slap in the face.

It was a cold Saturday afternoon and it has been raining almost all day. It was one of the rare weekends that you weren’t really occupied to do anything other than to lay on your couch and consume a copious amount of entertainment.

Despite the spitting rain, you actually want to head out this time. Being confined to your desk and the university was torture especially since you couldn’t do anything about it—the four of you were graduating this year, no one could afford to slack off.

You and Tom were cuddled against the sofa— Tom was busy watching something on TV while you were busy scrolling on your phone.

“Hey, Tom?”

“Yes, my sweet girl?”

“Do you want to go downtown?” You asked, looking at your phone as you read the details of an event happening this weekend.

“Right now?”

“Mhm,” you hummed. “There’s a book fair being held at the local theatre.” You rested your chin on top of his chest and gave him a pout. You were getting sick of being cooped up between your study table and the library. This book fair was a change of scenery and it’s definitely right up your alley.

“But it’s raining, darling” Tom tried to say in the softest way possible. It’s not exactly up in Tom’s interests though.

“I know,” You sighed “I guess I’m just getting sick of this place.”

“You’re getting sick of me?” Tom asked with a huge pout. He was kidding of course.

“I don’t think I’ll ever get sick of you, Tom.” You chuckled softly.

“Okay,” He hummed, pulling you closer to him—if that was even possible. “Then can we stay like this for a while?”

“Anything for you, angel.” You whispered as you closed the details about the local book fair. Maybe next time.

Soon after Tom left, Maia pulled you to her side and asked, “You okay, babe?”

“Yeah, why wouldn’t I be?” You feigned innocence. It was clear as day that you weren’t okay, your friends knew that.

Knowing that you weren’t going to budge, Maia walked towards the kitchen and brought out a bottle of wine from the fridge.

Harrison raised an eyebrow at her and asked, “When did you manage to put that in the fridge?” All of you had been occupied with grabbing boxes that there was no way that Maia had the time to put wine in the fridge, let alone obtain them from somewhere.

“It was supposed to be a celebratory drink for Y/N’s new place,” Maia replied as she set the wine and three various mugs on the coffee table. “Obviously, that’s not happening now.” Drinking wine using the oddly designed mugs you collected over the years was a cry for help.

“It’s 4 pm, Mai.” You pointed out as you stared at the white LED clock that you bought off Amazon—another impulse purchase enabled from scrolling on Pinterest for way too long. “We haven’t even had lunch yet.”

“Oh please,” Maia snorted “If there’s one thing that I’ve picked up from university, it’s drinking with little to no food consumption.”

“And if there’s one thing that I’ve picked up from university, it’s cancelling all of my plans for the entire day because I have to tend your hungover-self, Mai,” Harrison remarked as he grabbed the bottle and placed it back on the fridge. “I’m ordering food and no one’s drinking until everyone has finished a meal.”

You heard Maia mutter a string of curses but most especially the part that she said, “This is not the version of daddy that I envisioned Harrison to be.”

All of a sudden Maia’s idea of binge drinking doesn’t seem like a bad idea, you thought.

Turns out Harrison had no intention of letting any of you drink. He was pretty adamant about not having to babysit two drunk messes in one night.

“As if babysitting one isn’t enough,” You recalled Harrison say. He was obviously pertaining to Maia, in which she just huffed the entire time. You often wondered if Maia and Harrison noticed the obvious tension between them, because personally you found it endearing. It was no question that they were meant for each other.

“Y/N, you still haven’t told us whatever happened between you and Tom.” Maia suddenly pointed out. You, Maia, and Harrison were still in the living room, silently watching TV.

You were actively avoiding this conversation for the longest time as you haven’t told anyone about it, and based by the curious faces of your friends, you figured that Tom didn’t tell anyone about it either. You’re still not sure whether that’s a relief or not.

“There’s nothing to talk about.” You mumbled. It’s not like you were lying, there really was barely anything to talk about. Heck—You and Tom never got to talk about it properly either.

“We see the way you look at him, Y/N.” Harrison replied softly. “I think there is something.”

“Look—” Maia sat up properly “I know you’re not really vocal about your feelings, but the fact that you’ve never talked nor showed any emotion about your breakup terrifies me, babe.” Maia’s tone was laced with concern.

“I remember the day you told us about it too,” Harrison couldn’t hide his concern too “We were having brunch together at our usual diner and half-way through our meal, you promptly said “We broke up” when Maia asked where Tom was,” Harrison recalled it like it was a fever dream. He and Maia had already expected that you weren’t going to tell them about the breakup when it just happened. However, it baffles them that it’s been over a year since you and Tom broke up, and not one word has been said about it.

It was silent for a while, except for Criminal Minds that was playing on the TV. You blankly stared at the screen, hoping that you’d catch whatever the agents were saying. It was impossible, especially when all your mind could focus on was the recollection of the day Tom knocked on your door at 1 am to breakup.

You were relatively busy that day from volunteer work, so you haven’t seen any of your friends the entire day—or Tom for that matter. Actually, you haven’t seen Tom in a few days. He would send texts periodically throughout the day but they were always short and most of the time, you always forget to reply.

You figured Tom was busy with his own thing and both of you established early on in your relationship that texting—or lack thereof— shouldn’t account to your relationship, especially since both of you are equally bad at it.

You didn’t think any of it since you were bound to see your boyfriend and your friends tomorrow for brunch anyway. He will have your undivided attention by then.

So imagine your surprise when you heard a soft knock from your door at 1 am, only to find Tom in disarray. His eyes were bloodshot red, tears falling down his face. His messy curls were masked under the hood from his jumper.

At first you were in panic, you thought that something terrible had happened to any of your friends—his family even.

But as soon as Tom dropped to his knees and whispered, “I’m sorry,” you had a clear idea what was bound to happen next.

It’s been silent for a while. The door was still open and Tom sat out in the hall with his back leaning against your wall. You did the same thing except you were on the other side of the wall that Tom was leaning on.

You two were close enough to the door frame that you could hear each other, actually facing each other was a whole other thing. Tears kept streaming down your face as you kept your eyes closed and rested your head against the wall.

At some point in your relationship, you prepared yourself in case this happened— that you would accept whatever happens between you and Tom. You didn’t exactly anticipate that it would happen so soon.

“Was there someone else?” You asked quietly. It was the first time you spoke after Tom dropped to his knees. You hoped there wasn’t. In fact, you silently begged to yourself that there wasn’t someone else, because you knew that you couldn’t handle that.

“No, no—of course not.” Tom immediately answers.”I could never do that to you.”

It was silent again. You were starting to feel numb—you tried your best to gather your thoughts and forced words out of your mouth, but you couldn’t.

“Are we not worth fighting anymore?” You practically whispered. It was a gamble— you weren’t exactly sure if Tom had heard it and you don’t have enough strength to ask it again.

“Y/N,” Tom sniffled. “You can’t say that.” He placed his hand on top of yours. You had your hand resting on the floor and you didn’t exactly notice that it served as an invitation for Tom hold it again.

You love Tom with all your heart. He kept dismissing it but Tom made you a better person. He made you feel like love can be expressed through different forms of things—not just words.

You loved him by exclusively making time for him. You went on museum dates where he would make cheesy remarks, saying that you’re the most remarkable piece of art in the entire place. You went on dates to watch football games—you never understood it but Tom was happy, so you were happy.

You loved him through your touch. You would often massage his back because he had been tirelessly working himself to the core. He didn’t ask for it but you knew it would make him feel better. Your touch didn’t have to be intimate—though you expressed it through that way too

You loved him through mindless actions. Almost every time you would stop by at the local cafe to grab yourself some coffee, you would always recite Tom’s favourite order on autopilot.

You loved him through silence. Study dates were gems for you. Even if you didn’t talk for the entirety of it and even if you were the only one who studied for the most part and Tom was just playing on his phone, having Tom beside you was enough.

You loved him so much that it pains you to think that maybe you weren’t enough for him.

“I don’t think I can fight for someone who doesn’t even want to,” You muttered bitterly. “Just answer the question, Tom.”

He didn’t answer. All you could hear were the silent sobs that you two were trying to hold back. At this point, you knew you wouldn’t look at Tom. Your heart wouldn’t take it—it will crush you.

“Are you not happy anymore?” Your voice cracked as you broke into a sob.

“Y/N—“ Tom squeezed your hand even more. You’re going to miss it, but you had to let go.

“Tom, if I’m standing in the way of your happiness then we should end this.” You cleared your throat and pulled your hand away. There’s a ghostly feeling that still lingered from Tom’s touch.

“Please, Y/N, let me explain—“

“It’s okay, Tom.” You whispered. “I understand.”

“You know I love you, Y/N.”

“I love you too, Tom.”

“But—“

“But maybe it’s best if we end it, I know. I got it.” You let out a deep breath, trying to calm yourself down from crying. “Maybe it’s better if we stayed as friends.” Maybe it’s better to realize that whatever you and Tom had were too good to be true—that your love will never compare to the love he deserves.

“Do you want the truth?” You asked your friends, with tears forming in your eyes. You can’t even decipher how they looked at you because of the tears clouding your vision.

Were they looking at you in pity? Empathy? Sadness?

“The truth is—I’m mad.” You gritted the words through your teeth. This was the first time your friends had seen you like this. All of the pent-up sadness, aggression, and hurt you felt was starting to get the best of you.

“I’m angry. I’m hurt.” You snarled, furiously wiping the tears from your face. “I’m angry at the fact that I can’t seem to be genuinely happy for Tom. I’m hurt at the idea he seems to be a better boyfriend for Nadine, that he constantly makes an effort for her.”

“I don’t even know if he even loved me the way that I loved him,” Your voice became quiet “and it’s selfish for me to think that way because I never fought for it—for us. That’s enough reason to keep me up at night.”

That’s enough reason for you to wonder if you’ll be capable of loving someone so deeply again.

PERMANENT TAGLIST:

@quaksonhehe @dark-infernal-instruments @trustfundparker @emsma11 @tomshufflepuff @spider-babe @goodgirlgonetom @tabi-toast

#tom holland #tom holland imagine #tom holland angst #tom holland x you #tom holland x fem #tom holland x reader #tom holland fanfiction #tom holland fluff #tom holland fic #tom holland blurb #tom holland and reader #tom holland and you #tom holland imagines #tom holland x y/n #tom holland au #tom holland and y/n #the girl writes i guess #txmhoellandwrites

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korra-the-red-lion · 3 years

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Legends of Tomorrow and the Zarlie Incident: Is it happening again?

As many fans of DC’s Legends of Tomorrow are aware, during season 4 and 5 of the series, the ship “Zarlie”, a pairing of Zari Tomaz and Charlie, became quite popular during this time, especially during season 4.

Zari was a fan favourite character who was introduced in season 3. Throughout the season, Zari kept mostly to herself until she began to warm up to the others on the Waverider. Due to Zari’s closed off nature, she never had a LI in season 3. There were jokes about it, of course. Zari was very attractive to one Mr. Jonah Hex, and honestly. who wasn’t from the Waverider, haha? We’re told them as viewers that Zari is attracted to men. Sounds good.

Then s4 rolls around and Charlie gets introduced to the crew. Charlie takes an instant liking to Zari, affectionately calling her ‘Z.’ Maisie previously played Amaya on the previous two seasons, who was quite close with Zari as a friend, so it only makes sense that there is some chemistry between the two actors since they’ve been friends for awhile now. I wasn’t surprised when people starting shipping the two of them, thus the ship ‘Zarlie’ was born. What I wasn’t expecting was the writers to play into it. They had some pretty close scenes, and by close I mean there wasn’t enough room for two hands between their faces. And Zari made a comment about Charlie picking Amaya’s form because she was hot, implying that she thought Amaya was attractive. Thus the infamous scene happened:

No denial from Zari, just her usual annoyed look she got whenever Charlie started picking at her. Thus, the Bi Zari headcannon was born and mostly accepted by everyone in the LoT fandom. Of course, with Avalance and I believe Constangreen at this time, many people doubted it would become canon. And unfortunately, shortly after, Nate and Zari began dating, which felt sudden to me personally, and Steelhacker was born.

However, Steelhacker canon did not stop Zarlie from continuing. If anything, the writers only added more fuel to the fire so fans could have discussions. This is where I started to get annoyed, because why continue to bait the pair if you have no intention of making it canon? It felt a little dirty to me, even as I enjoyed the banter and chemistry between the two of them. Oh well, I thought at the time, it’s just shipping for fun now.

Season 4 ends with Zari being replaced by Zari Tarazi, or Zari 2.0 if you will. People still shipped Zarlie, though it was mostly from Zari 1.0. Fans were a little put off when Charlie said she slept with Behrad, but it also called attention to the fact that Behrad technically replaced Zari from the original timeline, meaning that Charlie wanted sleep with Zari, yes? Very confusing, but in a weird way, it was almost like they canonized the ship further.

Maisie had been on record several times acknowledging the chemistry between the two, and how much she wished they could have explore that more. Then of course, the news of the filmed but deleted kiss broke out and everyone from the Zarlie fandom lost their mind. There was a kiss, so in some strange way, Zarlie is canon, but only behind the scenes. From a show that does have amazing queer characters and content came a strangely bizarre queerbait that is now semi-canon, but only because the news of the kiss came to light, otherwise it would be another ship lost at sea, dragging people down with it as it lured them with its content. That should be the end of it, right?

Wrong.

Season 6 came out this season with Astra, the villain being manipulated by the Fates in season 5, being elevated to main cast. Joining her was newcomer Esperanza “Spooner” Cruz. Some people were hesitant because Astra was a bit of a polarizing character in s5, with reason. And of course, with any new character coming in, people are worried on how they will fit into the show. However, Spooner easily became a character that people enjoyed, and she somehow grounded the show, due to her very emotional character arc.

Spooner and Astra didn’t interact much until the animated sequence, when Astra turned her into a fork, much to the fans delight. Spooner actually encouraged Astra and after that, the two slowly became friends. They could have some snarky yet fun back and forth conversations and remarks to another, and the two actors played off each other well. They also connected from their lost mothers, Spooner who thought her mother had been taken by aliens and Astra who lost her mother to hell. They had a sort of emotional vulnerability between them that only they could understand.

Then the bowling episode came out and I think this is when the ship really got rolling. There was the big hug at the end of the match were a much taller Astra scoops Spooner up off her feet into a massive bear hug, smiles between the two. I know this is when I became a solid Esperastra shipper.

The pair continued to partner up after this. They partnered up again during the Clue-esc murder mystery game. Something that is very interesting about this is the pairings themselves. Ava gets killed by Sara right away (lol) and Nate dies shortly after, with Sara following behind. When Sara dies, her and Ava are shot together in a typical lovers pose in death. Makes sense, as they are engaged. Zari 2.0 is paired with Behrad and John, her brother and her lover respectively. Everyone is paired with someone they love. So...Astra and Spooner are paired up. Okay, no comment. JUST KIDDING. They die together, and this is shot in such a romantic way:

I know it’s dark, my apologies. But Spooner is leaning on Astra, and Astra is falling on top of Spooner. I’ve watched and read a lot of stuff, and this is a typical lovers in death position as well.

Then we get to the final two episodes which see Spooner and Astra pairing up again. Spooner leans on Astra for emotional support throughout these two episodes, because she knows that Astra understands what she’s going through. Astra was devested when she thought she lost both Spooner and John at the same time. Luckily, Spooner did come back and the two shared a very emotional hug.

Now, this is where it gets a little frustrating as a fan. The writers and showrunners have stated clearly that they are Just Friends(TM). It seems like, based on some decisions from this past season, the writers are pushing for Astra/Behrad, which is like, not terrible but a little strange. However, Tala Ashe (Zari), has been on record to say that she thinks the actors have great chemistry and she ships them. So there is clearly a small divide yet again. So, if season 7 leans into this any more, is Esperastra the new Zarlie?

Of course friends can love each other, hug one another, and use each other as emotional support. However in this case, there does seem to be some underlying tension between the two that I wonder if the writers are going to explore. Is Esperastra going to stay friends, or end up becoming yet another queerbaited sapphic couple from Legends of Tomorrow? I guess only time will give us an answer on this. However, I will say, the parallels between the two ships is slightly uncanny, and perhaps even intentional. Zarlie connected by being two people who felt lost without family, and Esperastra may be doing the same thing now that John is gone, who was functionally Astra’s only family left.

Let’s hope Legends of Tomorrow doesn’t do the same thing twice.

#DC's Legends of Tomorrow #legends of tomorrow #lot #zari tomaz #charlie #zarlie #astra logue #esperanza cruz #spooner cruz #esperastra #queerbaiting #arrowverse #sapphic couple #wlw romance

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princessofprocrastination · 3 years

Text

Just A Bet (GeorgeNotFound)

MASTERLIST

pairing : georgenotfound / george x reader - dreamwastaken/dream / clay x reader

summary : you’re just a bet to him. that is, until he realizes that you’re someone with a title. he scrambles to pick up your broken pieces, but he doesn’t realise that he’s too late. (angst) (trigger warning) (happy ending)

a/n : here’s sorta a little AU for you guys, don’t take any of this seriously, some things in this are clearly made up. side note ; holy shit i have more than a 100 followers right now. thank you so so much.

everyone has probably dreamt of being a princess, a real one. for example, when the movie ‘the princess diaries’ came out, people wanted to be mia thermopolis and rule genovia.

sounds like a dream, that is, to be going to high school and have plenty of paparazzi’s chasing you, or to be able to be recognized everywhere.

in reality, it is the complete opposite of living the dream. you could barely walk out without being recognized if you didn’t cover up your face in some way. you were restricted to do many things, even to just hang out with your friends to grab lunch.

to other people, they might just tell you to suck it up, that in the end of the day, you’re royalty, and that these are only tiny problems.

you agreed, sure. but you did want to smell the fresh flowers outside. you wanted to be able to get food from wherever, with whoever without people’s prying eyes.

you just wanted freedom.

to whom might be reading this might be confused. you’re a princess. just like the movie, yes. princess of saudi arabia, you are.

you are fairly young, still in your twenties. most people your age are out having fun going on a girls night, or still studying for their degrees, or even working right now.

but you were prohibited to leave the castle. you were told to leave on the queen’s orders, only during meal times.

some days, you really liked it, being a princess. if you weren’t being egoistical, you would say that your face really did suit the royal title.

you didn’t have to leave your room to make stacks of money. but the problem with that was, what would you do with the money if you couldn’t leave the house?

so you went on the internet. you settled on the internet. with the queen’s permission, of course.

sure, she can be strict like all the time, but she tried her best to give you your freedom. so she let you have social media accounts. you being you, the public immediately found your accounts.

you couldn’t find new friends, they were too scared to come across you. so you just entertained yourself.

this isn’t bragging, but a lot of people knew who you were, but that doesn’t mean everyone does.

since you barely had a childhood, with being born and raised royal, you entertained yourself watching minecraft youtubers. for some reason, it calmed you.

dream team, as you called the group, caught your eye. you watched all of their videos, caught up with every single live streams of theirs, even followed their instagrams and twitters.

one morning, when you woke up, you found your instagram notifications fuller than other days. you were fairly confused. that is, until you realised that the whole of dream team had followed you back.

they definitely know who you are and what you do now, right? they have a large fanbase, surely, they would’ve told the boys.

your followers, since seeing the boys follow you, have told you to start playing games. you didn’t disappoint them. you asked your parents if you could and they granted you permission to do whatever you wanted.

they told you “this would entertain the public and love you even more.” and smiled at you. you thought maybe they hit themselves in the head today with the leniency they gave you. but you pushed that thought. maybe they thought you have grown old enough.

valkyrae, a streamer on twitch had reached out to you after knowing about your gaming desires. she asked if you wanted to join her and her group to play among us together.

you almost immediately agreed and the rest of her friends welcomed you in with opened arms.

your mum gave you one condition, that you had to follow in order to film yourself playing games. that is, if you kept yourself poised and respectable. you agreed to her shenanigans and started to play with rae.

playing with her meant that you met countless different content creators, such as corpse husband and pokimane. they all were super nice to you, even when you had told them that they didn’t have to be nice to you because of your title.

soon you had found yourself in an amazing group of friends and you felt great about yourself.

you and rae had sustained such amazing friendship that she had came over to your house multiple times for meals.

you’d text her “come over to my house, let’s eat lunch.”

and she’d reply with “your castle you mean?” she jokes around.

your friendship was loved by many people out there.

one thing you didn’t say was that not everyone was obligated to know who you are, which then happens to be funny to see when they did end up finding out who you are.

just the fact that they show such shock to their faces, and the tone in their voice changes.

“holy fuck, she’s royal.” toast says as he came back from googling your name to know more about how you came about in a game of among us.

“i’m so sorry for the past rounds.” he apologizes for the time he accuses you for no reason.

“please treat me the same way you used to, i’m just y/n when i’m playing games, definitely not a princess.” you told him.

you didn’t have a big ego, although your parents did. “they need to know that you’re important.” they told you, but it never stuck to you. you wanted to be respected as a person, for your personalities, not because of a stupid title you were born in.

sykkuno, rae and you had decided to make an smp, where you three would start building things for fun and stream it.

you three had enough fun until it got boring, for you to start asking your other friends to join. the first person you offered to tour your little world was corpse since you and him had clicked so well.

because you started playing minecraft and streaming it, it got the attention of minecraft youtubers. and for some reason, the seventeen year old, tommyinnit had found you interesting enough to talk to you.

with tommy being that close to you, you attracted tubbo and wilbur soot, as well.

“i am in a vc with a princess.” tommy had said on stream when you two decided to play minecraft along with tubbo and wilbur.

sure, the teenage boy got a little annoying at times, but you found it entertaining and funny. of course, tommy being tommy, he’d ask slightly personal questions about how royalty works in saudi arabia.

not that he knew how royalty works in general, anyways.

“the queen is still my favourite woman, but you come in close second.” he told you once. you laughed at that.

no big title could stop you from fangirling the moment the man, dream itself had sent you a donation, and then later sending you a direct message.

“let’s play minecraft together soon, seen me your discord.” he dmed you one day. of course you complied.

for some reason, you never had the chance to play with george, and you played minecraft with sapnap and dream separately, never together. not that you were complaining.

you decided on a more chill and laid back stream on that specific day, not really feeling like going on a minecraft server or play among us with your bestfriends when you got a text from an unknown number.

hey. they sent

who’s this? you sent a text back.

my bad, this is george. they sent a text back to you.

holy shit. why would george text you. sure, you have played minecraft and among us with him sometimes but he isn’t one to give out his number so this was weird to you.

although you consider to be close to the entirety to the dream team, you often tried to avoid texting them, especially outside of streaming. you didn’t want it to be awkward or tense.

surprisingly, as your conversation with george lengthened, it became less and less awkward. the more you two texted, the more you felt like you and him had been friends for the longest time.

being the princess, raised in a castle meant that you didn’t really have a social life. other than being put together with some prince of another country in hopes you’ll fall in love with them or marry them, you haven’t really had a legitimate boyfriend. not even a crush.

to you, the princes in the world can be arrogant, snobby. they act like they are the most important thing in the world, that if they walk in a restaurant, everyone was to drop all their work for other people to entertain them.

sure, this could just be the way that they were raised, but you didn’t want that in a man, a husband. it wouldn’t kill to be a little humble.

princes are also a bore. they live practically the same lifestyle as you. conversations were never interesting, always the usual.

to summarise this, since you and george have been talking and texting, you had fallen for him. hard. and it seems like he’s feeling the same way, just that the both of you hadn’t really said anything.

DREAM’S POV

being really close friends with someone, more than one person, bestfriends, that is, meant that we had a group chat together.

nothing constructive was ever said, only boys being boys.

nick was the one to bring it up. and since he is the youngest, he sure does say some stupid things.

dude, you should try to get in y/n’s pants. nick asked george in the groupchat.

there was a running joke between the nick and i. george lives under a rock, basically. when everyone was walking on eggshells around you, trying not to offend a princess, he never really cared.

and that was when nick and i found out that george had no clue you held such a title on your pretty little head.

you are a beautiful girl, no doubting that. i was sure that many people, even before you started streaming had a major crush on you. george definitely fits right in. he was practically vomiting hearts when he first saw you.

it was meant to be funny. it was never meant to go this far. nick didn’t mean for his little bet to break a heart, let alone a princess.

but he did. well, technically george did. he was so brutal with it. he toyed with your feelings, like he had no care in this world.

no one would’ve guessed that the little cute, short george would do something as bad as he did.

and now, no one can find you. no one.

you were there, smiling in front of your camera one day and you were gone the other. just gone. no one knew where you went.

granted, you are royal. it must not be hard to get people to hide you. but at the same time, you had major reporters trying to find you. and they couldn’t. what does that leave us?

where did you go?

come back.

and although i know you want to hear this from george instead of his friends, you won’t. because he probably doesn’t.

we miss you.

please just text us, we need to know you’re safe.

YOUR POV

you left. you had to. it had been extremely humiliating.

you didn’t think someone as sweet as george would do that, it all happened so quick.

you had flown to england to meet him. he encouraged you to. it felt amazing to leave your hometown, you’ve lived there all your life. you definitely needed to fresh air.

it took a lot of convincing your parents to let you fly to england. without a doubt, you knew that the only way you’ll get to leave is if you had a guard with you.

this isn’t that kind of cliche story, your guard could literally be your dad, get your head out of the gutter, you are utterly in love with george, and you were sure george knew that and that’s why he encouraged you to fly to him.

the first couple of days were fun. he brought you to all over brighton for you to experience what it’s like in england. he told you he wanted you to get your first real experience as a tourist, and that was what he did.

winding down for the night, you brought him to relax in your hotel suite. frankly, george was surprised that you could afford such a place. but he didn’t want to ask where you got the money from, he didn’t really care.

all he wanted to do was to complete his dare. his ego was too big to lose this time.

that night was when you decided to tell him about your feelings about him. you were pretty confident that it was going to go smooth sailing. just the way he treated you showed so much about his feelings.

so you did, you told him. while you told him that you love him, more than friends love each other, he looked you in the eyes. you weren’t sure what that meant.

but he smiled. or smirked, you weren’t sure.

and he kissed you. and the night didn’t end with you just kissing.

so you thought the night was amazing, that it couldn’t get any better than that.

that was, until you woke up the next morning.

you woke up, sun shining straight into your suite, curtains wide open.

although you didn’t really feel the presence of another person in the room with you, you brushed it off. you felt like something was off, that something was missing.

you rolled over in your hotel bed, to see if the british man was laying next to you.

he wasn’t. in fact, he was not in the hotel room at all. you checked the bathroom, the small little living room in your suite. he was found nowhere.

you tried to see if he had left traces of himself in your hotel room, a sign that he was indeed there and that you hadn’t been dreaming it all.

but the pain between your legs caused by the brit told you that it was all not a dream.

so you did what a logical person would, text him. maybe he left to get food.

but you knew that wasn’t the case the moment you had unlocked your phone.

texts flood in, your social media notifications seemed to not be stopping anytime soon.

you opened your texts messages. a couple from your parents, a lot from rae, multiple from some minecraft youtubers who you called friends.

besides your parents, they were asking if you were okay. they were telling you to stay safe and to lay off social media for a while.

your parents were practically screaming at you through texts. they called you a disgrace, not an honour to the family. you didn’t understand where this was coming from.

you opened twitter, knowing that it was going to be the easiest way for you to find out what had happened, and why were you involved in it.

you were trending. number one worldwide. you clicked on your name. your phone left your hand, falling hard to your hotel floor with a loud thud as you covered your mouth with both your hands, crying.

two pictures. two photos that said it all.

first photo was of you in bed, obviously naked under the hotel duvet. you were still sleeping. there was light coming from the windows, that showed that it had barely been sunrise when it was taken.

second photo was what hit you the hardest. you wanted the earth to swallow you from below. it was a photo of your back, very naked back. it was clear that it was a photo that had been taken during sex.

and it was obvious who you had it with, because he was the one who posted it all over twitter.

george.

that was why he left, with no traces of him ever being in the hotel room.

you weren’t sure what was his motive. but you sure did know that he had completely broke you.

crying, you picked up your phone from the floor, calling rae.

“oh my god, tell me you’re okay.” she was panicking on the phone.

“i need to leave.” you told her. you knew that she would immediately understand the severity of the four words you told her.

since then, you never came back. to the eyes of public, it was as if you never even existed. you were gone.

you moved with rae.

she had to leave her roommates to settle in with you. her roommates weren’t mad at her for leaving them. they completely understood, you needed the help.

although her roommates wanted to help you, they couldn’t. you needed to have the least amount of people to be with you.

it didn’t help that they were all content creators, too.

rae told people that she moved because she wanted her own space, so that she can make better videos. when she announced she was moving, not one person speculated that you had been the reason of her move.

you paid for the house, you needed to. you owed her. no matter the amount of times she told you that you owed her nothing, that she was just doing it because she loves you, you couldn’t let her pay for a single thing.

you needed to up your security, too. so you two had decided to get a house that was pretty big, somewhere in the mountains, with top security, away from other people.

your parents soon calmed down after that day. they told you to come back, the begged you to come back. but you told them that you needed the time alone at that moment, and assured them that you would be okay.

so they did what parents would. they made sure you were well taken care of. they sent you massive amounts of money, sent your their trusted guards to stay around the house.

they did this all for you without the knowledge of the public.

your parents told reporters that you were well safe, and would not be in the public eye, not until you were ready.

you helped rae film certain videos. well, not like there was anything good to do in the massive mansion, anyways.

all your social media pages were still up, just not updated. you left everything. you had created a more private one, for your close and trusted friends to follow.

and you thought that nothing could really top that eventful day in england.

but it did.

you’re sat on toilet in on of the bathrooms, rae rubbing your back.

pregnant. it was clearly written on the test.

no fucking way.

in no ways were you ready to be a mother.

as a little kid, you had dreamt of being a mum, alongside a successful man who took responsibility.

you never would have seen yourself to be a mother alone, with the help of your bestfriend.

you never thought that you would be a mother, whose dad is someone who clearly doesn’t want anything to do with you.

rae stayed with you all the time. even through the gross vomit sessions in the morning, or all the time, in your case.

but you were in no way shape or form ready for a child. you had to raise a child on your own. even the thought of that had emotionally drained you.

weeks after you found out you were pregnant, you were significantly getting more moody, and rae knew that.

she made sure you ate well, slept well and kept up with eating vitamins each day. that was until, you couldn’t take it all anymore.

maybe it was the stress. well, it was the stress.

you blamed it all on the emotional toll the pregnancy took on you. your body was practically screaming for help. help that you need, but you weren’t in the right head space to offer the help to yourself.

it was a typically normal day for rae and you. besides rae screaming in her gaming room while streaming, it had been pretty quiet.

you felt queasy, but you pushed it off. it was normal for you nowadays. everything almost made you throw up. the look of something, the smell.

but on that day, it was a different type of feeling in your stomach.

one second, you were walking into the kitchen, trying to get some water, and the other, you were on the floor, in pain.

you screamed. this was the worst type of pain you’ve felt in your life. you screamed for anyone who could hear you. you were sure that even rae’s stream could hear you, but you didn’t care.

soon you heard multiple footsteps. one of your guards came to your aid before rae did. he supported your head on his lap, him sitting on the floor.

he told the other guard who came soon after he did to call the ambulance.

that was when you finally found out what was happening.

“holy shit, she’s bleeding.” rae repeated to herself.

you were bleeding? that wasn’t good, right? that meant bad things, doesn’t it?

you felt like you were floating, like your limbs were as light as a feather. that was because you were losing consciousness.

you lost it. you lost it and found out it was a boy.

now the two boys you love more than your life aren’t here with you, forever.

you cried for weeks, rae next to you, making sure you were still alive and eating. she was the only one that stayed by your side in real life. sure, your online friends did care about you, but they just couldn’t be there with you.

clay and nick had always been texting you, sometimes calling to try their luck, clay mostly. you knew they cared about you, and they wanted to make sure that you’re okay. but you felt embarrassed. you didn’t want to face anyone, even if people kept saying that you did nothing wrong.

apparently rae’s stream heard your scream, and that was how rae found out that you were in danger. she couldn’t hear through her headphones, but her chat kept spamming her about it, and that raised alarms.

they kept asking about the ‘mysterious girl screaming’ in rae’s stream. it was short lived, though. rae told them that she had a friend over and that they were injured, and that rested the chaos for a little.

you were sure that some people knew you were living with her. most of them were almost like detectives, after all.

you didn’t blame the stans. it wouldn’t take a genius to figure out that you would live with her, anyways.

since the awful day at the hospital, you have texted clay and nick. you wanted to tell them that you were okay, that you aren’t hurt, at least not physically anymore.

it didn’t take you long to start calling clay daily again. other than rae, you didn’t really have anyone. so you told clay.

it felt weird talking about a baby that used to be in you to someone whose bestfriend was the dad of. but he completely understood you. sure, he couldn’t say for experience, seeing as he clearly can’t get pregnant, but he supported you, made sure you let it all out to him.

you and clay grew close, almost bestfriends. although you and nick were close, he’s still in college, and that meant that he usually didn’t have time to talk to you as much as clay did, and you didn’t blame him. school can be a pain in the ass.

but you still made sure to never keep nick in the dark. as much as clay is one of your bestfriends, so is nick.

clay made sure never to talk about george to you, which deemed to be difficult since they had been friends for years. he had accidentally slipped his name out to you a couple times, but you were sure he didn’t meant to do that.

other than the usual “george has been sleeping like a log” and “he slept through the smp war.” you hadn’t heard anything else about him, but it seemed like he was doing well.

clay had told you about the bet.

“nick brought it up, but we didn’t think he was actually going to go through with it.” the floridian said.

you aren’t the type to hold grudges, not even if they did you really dirty, so you told clay that you were on the path of being fully healthy and that he didn’t need to apologise for his friend’s behaviour.

“are you ever going to come back?” he asks you in a facetime call. you knew exactly what he was talking about. he wanted to know if you’d ever come back on the internet.

you didn’t even know the answer yourself. you weren’t sure. so you told him that.

“maybe, maybe not. who knows.” and that was months ago.

you had plenty of time to heal, to get back on track. but nothing could top your pain of losing your child, that you never got to hold, to kiss, to spoil.

telling your mother about the loss of your baby was the hardest. she is a traditional woman, always telling you to get married before bearing children, but that didn’t mean she didn’t love the baby you were carrying in you.

she cried on the phone, sobbing, hiccupping. you wanted to hug her so bad, she even asked you when you’d come back, but you told her you needed time, but you’d be there soon.

for some reason, although you got maximum hours of sleep each day, you still felt exhausted. you consulted a doctor, but he told you that it was normal since your body is still fragile, but the exhaustion never really went away as months go by.

being bored at home, and hearing rae having fun made you feel lonely, it made you feel like you were left out. so you made the decision to come back. not to stream, but to appear in rae’s videos.

rae and the rest of the group welcomed you with open arms. they were caring and made sure you felt comfortable again, not stepping any boundaries. not that you cared, the public was bound to know everything soon enough.

so you did that.

you were playing proximity chat among us, with the usual people. at that point, you and the other nine people were still in the lobby, chatting, until corpse sounded out.

“what have you been doing nowadays?” harmless question, in your opinion.

you didn’t want to hide anything anymore, and rae knew what was about to happen.

“been having a lot of rest. doctor said that i’m still fragile.” you told corpse.

“are you sick?” toast asks. some people would’ve been offended at that question, or take it the wrong way, but you didn’t.

“actually, i suffered a miscarriage recently.” you told them honestly.

there was no awkward silence. immediately, everyone started apologising, saying “sorry for your loss.”

you brushed them off, telling them that it’s okay, that they didn’t offend you at all for asking that question.

“feels good to get it out my chest.” you told them, laughing at the end of that sentence.

“she hasn’t slept well at all, she really wanted to tell you guys.” rae told her

one by one, they all spoke to you, asked you if it was even okay that you all talked about it on streams. you told them that it had been your choice to tell people this way, and they had nothing to worry about.

on the other hand, it was tough for george. not at first, though. he thought it was going to be easy, having sex with a pretty, virgin girl and ditch her alone in a country she she hasn’t personally been to.

but that changed the moment she disappeared. the guilt never really hit george until people started bashing him on the internet.

at first, people were too focused on the girl. people discriminated you, called you a slut. they didn’t think that george was wrong at all, although he was the one who took the explicit photos and posted it.

but then, people, mostly woman had started to realise indeed how messed up it was.

george really couldn’t care that you “left.” but then people kept on commenting on his posts. specifically, they often left a comment saying “really bold of you to do that to a princess.”

at the start, he thought the comments meant that they couldn’t believe he did such terrible things to their princess, someone wholesome they cherished. he didn’t realise that his comments literally meant that you are a princess.

so he googled it. he wanted to know why people kept calling you ‘princess’ or ‘next on the throne’. he was curious, and he wasn’t expecting it all to be real.

when he googled your name, a huge google tab came out.

princess of saudi arabia.

this must be a typo, right? he couldn’t deny that you are indeed a pretty girl, he just couldn’t believe that he had done such things to someone so royal.

he never even thought that one day, he would score to talk to celebrities, let alone be able to be in bed with an actual princess.

so he doubted it.

but then he kept looking.

he looked at images of you. photos of you with a small tiara, next to what seemed to be the queen of saudi arabia, wearing a long, modest emerald gown. the photo was taken when the king had a birthday.

picture after picture, he started to doubt his thoughts even more.

he couldn’t lie, your face really fit the title. if he really thought about it, your existence screamed royalty. the way you spoke, your poise, the way you strut in a hallway and was able to wow a crowd without trying.

george always assumed that people only stared at you in public because of how beautiful you are. he never really realised it all until now.

usually, guys can be insecure when they hear rude comments about how a lanky man is able to get a beautiful, confident woman. but to george, he felt even more egoistical. he used you, truly like a trophy wife.

that was until he really realised.

now, he thinks that everything he did was just a plain asshole move, not saying it isn’t if he did it to any other normal girl.

“i fucking messed up” he thought to himself, reading press conferences about your princess title.

if he thought he messed up then, wait till he found out you were pregnant, and then later losing it.

he felt like he was in a fever dream. it felt like a written book, not real life.

he kept slapping himself, pinching himself to make sure he wasn’t dreaming. it all felt unreal. so many things were happening.

now, he’s more concerned than guilty. he wanted to know if you’re okay. even he felt like he can’t cope with the information he was given, how would you feel?

furthermore, he kept reading theories that the scream in the background of valkyrae’s stream was yours. had you lost the baby there? had you lost his baby there?

he called clay and nick. he wanted to double check. it was all a lot to handle, knowing you’re a princess and a mother in the same week.

nick screamed at him on discord for hours, literally. george knew clay was just as mad, just as disappointed. he just didn’t have the energy to say it all, even though all he wanted to do was fly to england and beat george up.

although it took george a while to realise everything he did was messed up, he came to. and he really did want to contact you. but really, anyone in your position wouldn’t even glance at his name twice after what he did.

he was happy that you were looking healthy on rae’s stream. although you weren’t really ready to stream on your own again and many people understood that, and never pushed you.

but whenever he saw you sometimes on rae’s facecam, he could see that pain, deeply hidden in your eyes. you were trying to cover up the fact that you were still trying to heal.

CLAY’S POV

it was infuriating to see george not really giving a shit at first, and then changing to a new man. it took you to tell the world about your lost child for him to own up to his mistakes.

nick and i had been friends with him for years, it takes a lot to just dump a friend, a close one at that. so we did what we could, help him wake up from this “dream” he’s in.

that didn’t mean we weren’t mad at him still.

if he didn’t want to own up, i will.

the subsequent years came by and went really quickly. people were starting to forget the drama that you and george were in. people soon became uninterested about it, but still stayed with you, encouraging you to heal slowly and take your time.

that was what you liked about the internet. granted, some people can be mean, but the people who supported you were the ones that helped you keep going, helped you find a reason to wake up in the morning.

no, you’d never forget that you lost a child, and you were reminded by the people on the internet who made it a pact to make sure george never forgot that too.

george did end up talking to you a couple years ago. you accepted his apology, but not him. you were sure he only wanted to apologise after knowing that you were the next in the throne.

speaking of throne, you were back in the castle. not permanently, but you visited often. you still lived with rae, and you had actually started streaming on your own again a few months before george reached out to you.

clay and nick had been supportive of you since the start, still clearly apologetic even though you told him that you had forgotten about it and that it hadn’t even been their fault in the first place.

but they were persistent, clay more than nick since nick was still very busy with college. you loved the two of them and considered them to be one of your best friends, aside from rae.

GEORGE’S POV

it was difficult. i felt like i had no shame to just text her one day after being gone for so long. but i actually felt bad. i know it was a rocky start.

i had been so focused on winning the bet and not wanting to be called a pussy from my friends that i disregarded you, your feelings.

i knew from the start that you had been a great girl. you were just so sweet to everyone you meet, even strangers. it warmed my heart, it made me feel safe to be around you all the time.

not that i can say that right now anyways, i didn’t have the right at all, after what i did to you.

i don’t know what love is, given the fact that multiple girls had left me before this. i asked myself often if what i felt for my exes were actually love, or had i just been desperate.

but i felt like when i was with you, it had been love, or close enough.

but i couldn’t just burst it out one day that i love you, we weren’t really even dating.

given that you had been pure, prior to me, it was shocking to see you so open, so welcoming to me. it was like you had known me forever, that you trusted me.

and i took advantage of that, and later i got the consequences.

i suffered the consequences. i see him with you. and i see that you’re happier with him. if it was any other guy, i think it would hurt less.

but it was my own best friend. it was clay.

all the instagram photos you post, his face blurred or covered, or when he posts a photo of you, it all hurt.

i started the fall for you, for your genuine heart, and when i finally decide to do something about it, someone else had done it before me.

deep down, i knew that clay would’ve been the better choice for you anyway. but it still hurt me. hearing his voice coming from behind you when you stream without your facecam.

everyone was so supportive of you and clay, they’re obviously happy that you found someone who treats you better, even i knew that.

i wished i hadn’t taken you for granted, i wish i hadn’t listened to the stupid voice in my head reminding that you were all just a bet, that i wouldn’t love you like you think i would.

i felt left out.

a while ago, you were in florida with nick and your boyfriend, clay. it stung to see nick and you streaming so happily, not remembering me.

but i deserved it. and i knew you deserve to be happy, after everything i did to you.

but that didn’t compare to the pain i felt now, a year later, seeing photos of clay and you, his face turned from the camera, facing you. he was down on one knee, proposing.

and although you were crying and your hands covered the bottom half of your face, i could see how happy you are, i could see the amount of love you held for clay.

how i wish i had done things a little more differently.

#georgenotfound #georgenotfound x reader #georgenotfound fanfic #georgenotfound imagine #georgenotfound imagines #dream imagine #dream imagines #dreamwastaken imagines

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theonewiththefanfics · 3 years

Text

Because Hearts Get Broken - Loving Is The Antidote (Part 3/3)

Because Hearts Get Broken Part 3 :) read the first two on my masterlist

Synopsis: Overcoming fears is not an easy thing, but maybe it’s worth a shot if the ending leads to happiness.

Pairing: Harry Styles x fem!Reader

Genre: kinda angsty, mostly fluffy and SHMUTTYYYYYYYYY

Warnings: SMUT!!! (so beware, this is kinda sweet, but oh so filthy; unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it), m going down on f, slight fingering etc), swearing

Word count: 5895

Y/N had never been so nervous while getting ready for a show. She liked to be front-row, right by the stage to feel as close to the music as possible, the energy of the crowd filling her up and making her buzz with excitement, even hours after the concert was done.

The thing was – with when they started dating and then with the pandemic shutting everything down in spring, Y/N had never seen Harry live. Sure, he’d given her private concerts, had sung her any song she wanted, but this was different. Somehow, even though there were more people, it felt more intimate because this wasn’t just him lulling Y/N to sleep. This was Harry baring part of his soul to the world, and doing it with such ease, it made her heart ache.

The venue was small, at least compared to the arena sizes Y/N knew he typically performed at. There were around 100ish or so people, and the line was quite quick to move.

She told the woman with the clipboard her name and provided some ID. The list wasn’t that long, and it took her barely two seconds to spot the name, as she smiled and gave Y/N a nod.

“I’ll have Bert escort you to the backstage if you’ll just follow him, please.”

“Could I actually watch from the crowd?” Y/N asked biting her lip. “I love being a part of it, you know. Feel the energy and stuff.”

“Uh, sure.” The woman gave her an uncertain look. “It’s just that Mr Styles asked for you to be brought backstage, and umm…”

“If Harry says anything,” Y/N put a reassuring hand on her shoulder, “I’ll deal with it. Please, don’t worry too much. Unless he wants a kidnapping charge, he’ll deal with the fact that I’m inside the venue.”

And that seemed to do the trick, as the girl, visibly relaxed and even laughed a bit, handing Y/N back her ID and motioning with her head to go inside.

Small tables had been set up, and each one could house four people at a time. Most of them had already been taken and given how she didn’t want to draw any attention, Y/N decided to take one of the tables at the very back, a pillar half obscuring the stage and with that – her face.

The enthusiasm was palpable in the air, and people were chattering away, anticipating the moment Harry with his band would walk onto the stage. A waitress came up to her, asking if she wanted anything to eat or drink.

“And your name, please? To set up a tab.”

“Y/N Y/L/N.”

“Oh,” her eyes went a bit wide. “Um, no need to pay then.”

Her brows furrowed. “Excuse me?”

“We’ve been told that anything you order should be put on Mr Sty – “

“Mr Styles tab,” Y/N finished the sentence with a chuckle. “Yeah. Okay… well, is it possible for you to not say anything to him and let me pay for my drinks?”

“I – “ she shrugged. “I guess?”

“Just the G&T please.”

The waitress nodded and clicked her pen, still seemingly unsure about what to do, but ultimately deciding to go with what Y/N asked. “Coming right up.”

The lights dimmed, and Y/N’s attention was brought to the stage, where she saw Harry, Sarah, Mitch, Adam, Naomi and Charlotte appear and take their places, as applause and cheers became their background music.

He looked good, very good, in fact. His brown hair was the typical messy mop on top of his head, the signature pearl necklace around his neck, while he sported the soft rainbow cardigan, a sharp-looking high neck button-up, and black slacks, with black boots.

“Thank you all for coming on such short notice,” Harry started, and it made a collective chuckle rise into the air. He could post a fleeting comment on Instagram saying he was having a concert in three minutes, and there’d be ten thousand fans waiting for him. “When ‘Save the Children’ reached out to us and asked if we could help them raise some donations, we immediately hopped on the idea, and it warms our hearts seeing so many of you here, and the fact that you’re supporting their cause.”

Loud cheers immediately exploded, and Y/N obviously joined in.

“All proceeds for the tickets made today will go to them, as will any other donations you decide to give, so, I hope you do, and let’s get the show going.”

That was Sarah’s cue to hit her drumsticks together three times, as the notes of ‘Golden’ rattled the air.

Seeing Harry in his element was nothing short of electric. Although he was sitting down, and most of the songs he sang were acoustic versions, it was dazzling to see the passion seep out of his body and into the lyrics he'd composed.

Throughout most of it, his green eyes kept scanning over the gathered people, while flitting to see what was happening behind the curtain, and it made Y/N sort of giddy, thinking that he might be trying to find her.

Because in truth, he was. When Harry had arrived, he was all nerves and jitters, which had never happened before a show. Well, never before had Y/N come to one of his shows, so there was also that.

All throughout prep, he was waiting for someone from the staff to come up to him and tell him his girl had come, but no one did, until like five minutes before he was supposed to perform, a breathless woman, who seemed so nervous she was about to pass out, had tapped him on the shoulder.

“Is she here?” Now he was the breathless one.

“Uh, yeah, Y/N arrived a little while ago.”

His forehead creased in confusion. “Then, where is she? No one came to inform me.”

“I’m so sorry Mr Styles, but she asked to be allowed into the crowd, she uh… didn’t wanna be taken backstage.”

“Oh.”

That was literally all he could manage, as his heart dropped. “Well… at least she’s here.” He gave the assistant a smile. “Thank you. I uh, I hope you’ll enjoy the show.”

Then it was call-time, and he had to gather himself as he walked on the small podium, taking his place by the mic, and beginning the concert.

After each song, he scanned the gathered people, in hopes of seeing Y/N’s face, but she had hidden really well, and when he’d looked to the sides, wishing to see her frame standing there, he had to remind himself, that she was there, and he still had to fulfil a little surprise, which he hoped she’d like.

“You know when writing… songs are inspired by many things, but just like with books you reread, they can get new meanings and make you feel different than before. So, although I had no clue this person existed when I wrote this song, the second I met her, I knew it was about her. She’s uh, she’s here tonight.”

Y/N’s head snapped up from where she’d been propping it against her hand so hard, she was sure she heard a bone crack.

No.

Fucking.

Way.

“So, I’d like to end this small get together and dedicate it to her. And I know this isn’t one of her favourite songs,” Harry let out a small laugh, Sarah mimicking it behind the drums. “She told me she’s kind of sick of it, given how it was all over the radio at one point, but uh, I hope that maybe, she - uh - she just listens to the words, and knows I mean it.”

Y/N didn’t even need the first chord to be played to know what song he meant. ‘Adore You’.

During their quarantine, she’d jokingly said if it played one more time on the radio, she’d have to break up with him.

He’d yanked her down on the couch, nose nuzzling into her hair. “ ‘N why’s that? Thought you liked my singing.”

“I do,” Y/N wove her fingers into his locks and massaged at his scalp, making Harry let out a satisfied groan. “I just don’t wanna hear you sing about loving and adoring someone that ain’t me.”

A playful smirk pressed against her skin. “Jealous, are we?”

“No,” Y/N shrugged pinching his side. “Jus’ tired of the song.”

“Don’t worry.” He brought his face from where he’d hidden it by her shoulder and turned hers to face him. “From now on, whenever I’ll sing it, I’ll sing it for you. You’re the only person I wanna love and adore.”

“What about Gem and your mum.”

A disgusted look passed over his features. “Not in that way!”

“Harry!” Y/N slapped his arm as both of them dissolved into laughter.

“You don’t have to say you love me,” he sung, breaking her out of the trance, “you don’t have to say nothing, you don’t have to say you’re mine.”

She’d never hated the song, never meant it when she’d said that, and could never be mad at Harry for having written out his feelings, woven them into notes and masterfully put it together for others to hear.

It was a weird notion to Y/N though, knowing everyone in the world could hear how he’d loved someone so much, but that was just because of her own inability to properly express her feelings. Yet now, listening to him sing that song for her, made her chest hurt.

Thankfully Y/N wasn’t the only one sniffling in the audience, so she wasn’t standing out that much. She was kind of scared that Harry might look over and others would connect the dots, but he didn’t, not really at least. His green eyes scanned the people, but mostly he kept his gaze on the floor, as if afraid of what reaction everyone would have as the song ended.

“Thank you,” he muttered into the microphone the cheers morphed into ovations, while he pressed his fingers against his lips and ‘sent’ the kiss to the audience before retreating backstage with his band in tow. As people started to filter out, groups heading down the street while others lingered in hopes of catching a glimpse or having a word with Harry, Y/N waited by the table, finishing off her drink before moving towards the backstage.

“I uh.” She showed one of the security guards her ID. “I was told I can come backstage?”

The burly man looked down at the woman next to him, who much like the assistant before had a clipboard. When she found Y/N’s name she looked up and smiled. “Right this way.”

They wove through the small walkways, as people rushed back and forth, coiling up wires, dismantling the drum-set and carefully placing the instruments in their boxes for them to be put in the van.

“He’ll be back here in a minute,” the representative said, opening up a door where Harry’s name was plastered on, letting her step in, and Y/N nodded, pulling her jumper sleeves down her palms.

It was a nervous habit of hers, having switched over from biting her nails to plucking at loose threads of clothing to now pulling at them. Harry had been the one to help her get rid of the biting.

“How am I supposed to paint your nails, if you rip them off?”

Y/N had scoffed shoving him a bit. “You have your own nails to paint.”

“Yes, but I wanna make your pretty too.”

“You telling me I ain’t pretty enough for you?”

“No, I think you’re gorgeous, but,” he’d leaned closer to her, so close she could feel his teeth graze her earlobe, “I do love it when I can see marks on my back in the morning.”

Y/N let out a shaky breath, as butterflies tumbled through her stomach. Three minutes of anticipation and the door clicked open, making her whip around and come face to face with Harry.

“Hey,” he breathed out. “I uh I didn’t really think you’d come, but I’m really happy you did.”

Y/N shrugged toeing at the ground and smoothing her hands against her thighs. “I’ll always do everything I can to support you. Being together is not a condition in my book for making sure you’re alright and happy.”

“Did you uh – di –“

“Did I hear the song?” she interrupted him, and Harry visibly gulped nodding.

“Yeah.” It was barely a whisper, her eyes cast down, noticing how his foot was tapping an irregular rhythm.

“And?”

“And?” Y/N let out a chuckle before leaning down to the couch and grabbing a pillow. “How! Dare! You!” she yelled, hitting his arm with it. “You think you can just do that, you think you can dedicate a song – a fucking love song – to me and get away with it? You think you can just be sweet and nice and so fucking loving and not make me fall in love with you more? And – and – and you just think you can do that?! And make me feel things?”

Harry’s smile was blinding, as he grabbed the pillow, throwing it onto the sofa, and eliminating the two remaining steps between the two, hands on her waist, forehead to hers, as Y/N huffed seeing the smirk bloom even more on his lips. “I made you feel things, huh?”

“Yes,” she grumbled crossing her arms in front of her chest, but in no way was she attempting to push away from him, actually relishing his touch and warmth, and his skin against hers. “You did. And I hate you for that.”

“Do ya really, dove?” He was smiling wider than before.

Her nose brushed against his. “Very much so.”

“I love you too. So much.”

“You sure you want to take a chance on me?” Y/N had to ask. “It’s – I can’t promise it’ll be easy.”

“Love’s not supposed to be easy. And you’re worth it. You’re worth everything to me.”

“Okay then…” She had to suppress the cry that threatened to break out of her throat by clearing it. “But on one condition,” Y/N stated with all seriousness. “You give me a proper shag right here, right now, because I’ve missed you so much, I won’t be able to wait until home.”

“Fuck, dove!” Harry groaned and cupped her cheeks, pulling her lips to his. “They’re gonna ban me from here,” Harry muttered against Y/N’s mouth, trying to wiggle out of the cardigan.

“Then let’s give them a reason,” Y/N hummed against his lips, as her fingers, shaky but still nimble, undid the first button to his high-collared shirt.

Down and down, they went until the planes of his chest and stomach were exposed, and she could indulge herself by letting her palms and nails rake over the skin and the tattoos.

“Wanna taste you,” Harry gasped pulling away for a breath of air. “Haven’t had you in so long, wanna feel you cum on my tongue.”

Y/N’s eyes rolled to the back of her head from his words alone, and given how she didn’t trust her voice to not shake, she nodded her head, helping him get her boots off, toeing the socks with them and then shimmying out of her jeans.

Her bottom half was practically naked when Harry pulled her by the thighs, legs around his waist and lowered her on the shabby sofa. Her mind was so hazy from all the love and pleasure, Y/N didn’t even care about how it probably hadn’t had a good deep clean in ages.

Skilful hands lifted up her jumper, exposing the tank underneath. Harry raised his eyebrow. “How many layers do you have on? I want you naked.”

“It’s fucking winter in New York.” Y/N helped him remove the piece of clothing he found so offensive. “Did you want me to come in just lingerie and freeze my tits off?”

He hummed before looking up. “Speaking of tits? Can I see ‘em?”

“Maybe. If you eat me out first.”

“Deal.”

The thing was, as much as Harry wanted to dive right into it, he was feeling mischievous, so he decided to drag out the process as much as possible. Hands caressing her sides, he lifted the shirt so he could press kisses to her stomach, leaving invisible marks of love with every step of the way, and he grinned to himself hearing Y/N’s breath hitch as he reached her underwear.

There was an embarrassingly large wet spot, and Harry pressed his hips against the couch to somewhat minimise the pain he was starting to feel. He was not gonna blow a load in his pants when he finally got to be with Y/N again.

“Can I take 'em off?” Harry murmured, leaving a fluttery press of his mouth against her hipbone, while she viciously nodded.

Quickly he pressed a kiss to the spot he’d soon be able to see unclothed, and it made Y/N jerk, but fuck she was eager, pupils blown so much there was nothing left of her usual Y/E/C eyes, but two black abysses.

Harry’s were quite the same, as the green had turned dark jade, and even that was a small ringlet around his intense gaze.

“Do not!” She pointed a finger at him, and Harry stopped mid-motion, just as he was going to pocket her panties. “I won’t go commando while wearing jeans.”

“But –“

“It’s not you who’ll chafe.”

Harry huffed, and put them on the side of the couch. “Fine. But just so you know, you’re very boring and are ruining all the fun.”

“At least I won’t have to deal with a yeast infection.”

He couldn’t argue with that, running his hands over her thighs. “Fair enough. But you owe me a kiss.”

“Come here, you doofus,” she grabbed at the open lapels of his shirt and pulled him down, arms looping around his broad shoulder to have his chest pressed against hers and bring their lips back together.

For a couple of minutes, they let their tongues dance in the familiar rhythm. There were no teeth clashing, no foreheads bumping or biting. Despite both of their eagerness, they’d decided to revel in being together, so each kiss was experienced to the fullest.

“Better?” she asked, completely out of breath, as they pulled apart.

“Yeah.” Harry smiled, mind a blissed-out haze. “Now, where were we?”

She couldn’t really think straight either, so her only response was a lift of her hips.

“Right,” he sighed and slipped a delicate hand down her tummy and along the inside of her legs. “God, I missed being here.” And slowly his head joined where he was brushing the sensitive skin of the apex of her thighs.

“Harry!” she dragged out his name, as his fingers just kept skimming her skin, and when she thought they’d slip past her folds, he dragged them back to the inner thigh. “Stop teasing!” Y/N had her hands over her eyes.

“Why?” he smirked, kissing right around the place she wanted his lips on, but not on it. “It’s fun. Payback for everything you put me through.”

“Harry, I swear if you don’t put your tongue in me, I’ll put my foot through your face.”

He lifted her legs up, and then over his shoulders, caging her hips in with his arms. “Not if I do that.”

“Just – fuck! You’re such a bully!” Y/N laughed.

“Are you telling me, I’m being mean to my girlfriend, the love of my life, owner of my heart and soul?” he asked, leaning his cheek to rest against the inside of her thigh, and she wove her fingers into his hair.

“Well, if you don’t do anything, it’s gonna be ex-girlfriend again.”

Harry narrowed his eyes. “Look who’s being a bully now.”

“But – just – please!” she whined. “Please, I need it so bad.”

“Need what?”

“Ugh, you’re such a menace!” Y/N pretty much yelled and leaned to rest herself on her elbows, catching Harry’s eyes to keep a direct gaze. “I need your tongue so far up my cunt, that by the end of it all, your neck is covered in my cum. Happy now?”

His grin was wicked. “Very.”

That seemed to do the trick, as he lowered his head, and with closed eyes like a wine taster, finally attached his mouth to where Y/N had been craving him for so long. A deep sigh of relief passed her lips, and she threw her head back against the couch cushion, savouring the feeling of what was happening to her.

“Did you eat pineapples before coming?” Harry asked, replacing his tongue with two of his fingers; they slipped in without any resistance with how wet she was. “Taste… sweet.”

“Had a fruit salad for dinner,” she moaned as he leaned back in and licked a broad stripe. “Didn’t have anything else in the fridge.”

“That’s not proper dinner. Pizza afterwards?”

Y/N hummed as he sucked on her clit. “Domino’s?”

Harry linked his fingers through hers and brought their intertwined hands to rest on her stomach. “Whatever you want.”

“Isn’t this kind of cheating for you though?” she let out a choked-back laugh, and with furrowed brows, he detached himself from her core.

“What’dya mean?”

“You’re having dessert first.”

The singer threw his head back with a cackle. “Don’t worry, I’ll eat my veggies. But let me finish having my fruit first.”

It was like he’d been starved of her, and in a way, Harry definitely had been. For almost three months, a quarter of a year, he hadn’t felt Y/N’s touch, hadn’t tasted her, nor pretty much heard the sounds she made.

All he’d been left with was one last good-bye, a kiss given in a passion induced haze, and the one-sentence she’d recorded for her voicemail box, and well, let’s just say – Harry was more than happy to feel her hands let go of his and grasp onto his hair, to drink up everything she offered and listen to all of the moans Y/N was no longer depriving him of. It was heaven, to say the least.

“ ‘M not gonna last long,” she gasped, yanking at his hair, making him moan into her, the vibrations only adding to the already intense pleasure that was coursing through her veins.

Harry released her clit with a small pop. “Don’t want you to last long. Want you to cum and do it like you said you would – soak me all the way down to my neck.”

A second later, he had his mouth around her clit again, ten seconds later, her whole body seized up, the air got stuck at the back of her throat, as her eyes rolled to the back, and her back arched up from the couch so far Harry almost lost his hold on Y/N’s waist.

It was through a fog she heard Harry speak, and it took all of her willpower to focus on understanding what he was saying.

“Hey, come back to me, dove,” he whispered, gentle palms coming to hold Y/N’s face, and he intently watched her eyelids flutter, body still going through the aftershocks of orgasm. “Come back, dove.”

“Mhmm,” she let out a soft sigh, leaning her face more into Harry’s touch before opening her eyes and giving him a fucked-out smile.

“You good there?”

The words ‘the best’ were pretty much a slur, but Harry understood them, eyes twinkling. “Take my top off.”

“What?”

She quirked an eyebrow. “Didn’t you wanna see my tits?”

“Yeah,” Harry laughed. “I did – do. Very much so. Gonna let me?”

“Just take my top off.”

Pressing a chaste kiss to her lips, where she could taste herself (and much like Harry had said – she did taste sweet), he practically ripped the tank top off, and with a little help from Y/N who stretched her back, the bra came off as well, revealing her in her full naked glory.

“So beautiful,” he uttered in a soft voice. “Still so bloody gorgeous. Should kick myself for ever letting you go even for a second.”

A little piece of her heart broke at Harry’s statement. “Wasn’t your fault.”

“Maybe.” He dragged a hand between her breasts and watched as Y/N’s breathing went ragged. “Maybe not. All I know is, I shouldn’t have let you leave.”

“Then don’t let me. Please.”

It was the tears in her eyes which made him lean down and give her an open-mouthed kiss, tongue twisting against hers, promising that whatever happened, whatever insecurities came their way, he wouldn’t ever let go.

“Take these off,” Y/N said, popping open the button to his slack, and even that small motion made Harry release a groan of relief, as some of the pressure was taken off his painfully hard dick. “Wanna have you inside me.”

“Dove, you’ll kill me with that mouth of yours.”

“I’d rather you raw me than die.”

“ ‘S not my fault you’ve got such a dirty mouth.”

He’d managed to kick off his shoes, and shimmy the trousers down, now lying in a pile on the floor, while Y/N had fully removed his shirt and had thrown it somewhere across the room, itching to just have him pressed against her.

“Condom,” Harry hissed when Y/N’s hand slipped behind his briefs and grabbed him at the base, twisting her palm the way he liked, and slowly moving it up so she could press her thumb against the sensitive tip. “Condom – shit – Y/N, I wanna cum, but not that quick.”

“Nuhu,” she shook her head, wrapping her legs around his waist, both her hands going to the back of his underwear and dragging them down, not before squeezing his ass. “I said I want you to raw me.”

If Harry was going to bust a nut before, now it took him literally biting on his lip and closing his eyes for a minute to gather composure.

“Wait no!” Y/N suddenly sat upright as he was going to lean down, almost knocking her forehead to his nose.

“What? What’s wrong?”

“Nothing, I just wanna blow you.”

“I –,“ he stammered, “you – fuck. Okay. As much as I love that idea, because believe me I do, you’ll have to do it later, ‘cause I’m just about ready to cum.”

Y/N’s brows furrowed, hand reaching for his hard member, Harry having to stop her midway. “But – you just gave me such good head. I wanna give some to you too.”

“I will literally cum just from you talking if you don’t stop, but I really wanna fuck you, so will you please just let me?”

“Okay,” Y/N nodded leaning back down and reaching for Harry to lay over her. “But you’ll let me stuff my face with your cock after?”

“Jesus Christ.”

“ ‘S not fun being teased, is it?” Y/N grinned, biting on his earlobe, as Harry took himself and lined up with her entrance, letting the tip nudge against her clit.

“Yes well,” he took in a breath, slowly sinking in, “if you giving me a blowjob is your form of revenge, I might have to piss you off more.”

That was a suggestion Y/N was happy to take him up on, as long as it got Harry inside her.

He was being very gentle, very much so aware of how sensitive she still was from her previous orgasm, and all he wanted to do was make her feel as good as possible, so he stilled half-way in, but Y/N shook her head.

“More,” she whimpered.

“Don’t wanna hurt you,” he muttered against her lips, legs shaking from how much pleasure he was already having, but still very much so attuned to what Y/N’s body was telling him, yet she seemed to not be having any of it.

“Harry if you don’t get inside me right up to your balls, I will get myself off in front of you, and leave you high and dry.”

“Now that,” he looked at her pointedly, “just won’t do.” And with those words, he sank deeper, just as Y/N had requested until he’d bottomed out.

All the air had been choked out of her lungs from the sensation, and not only did Harry have to wait for a second for her to adjust (and to compose himself somewhat), but also for Y/N to take in a breath.

“Breathe, dove,” he let out a small laugh, and it made Y/N reciprocate, her chest rattling with uneven intakes. “Said I didn’t wanna hurt you, let alone kill you.”

“ ‘S not my fault your dick’s massive.”

“Do I hear complaining?”

“No, just stating a fact.”

“Well, I’ll be taking that as a compliment.” He smoothed away some strands of hair, letting the two of them just lay there for a moment, to relish in the normalcy of the situation and how amazing it was to be back together, emotionally, mentally, and physically.

Harry left kisses all over Y/N’s face as she calmed down, lips skimming over her cheeks, then down her jawline, up her chin to give a peck on the lips before kissing the tip of her nose and the bridge, then each of her eyelids and then the forehead before slipping to soothe at her temples. “You alright?” He checked in, a thumb stroking her cheek. “Do you want some water maybe?”

“No,” she shook her head, her own palms on a never-stopping motion on his back, up and down, and then circling against Harry’s sides. “Jus’ needed a second to gather myself. ‘S been a while.”

“So, you haven’t gotten with anyone while we – “

Y/N raised an eyebrow as his question trickled off. “Do you really wanna know if I’ve had sex with anyone? Right now? With your dick all the way in my vagina?”

“Hey! STDs are a real thing!”

“Harry, if I was, I would’ve told you before all of this. And not just because of health risks…”

And that made something in his chest bloom. This certain hope, he’d felt get extinguished when Y/N had broken it off, but that had been quite the pest in his mind. The hope that was the reason he’d tried so hard to talk to her both on New Year’s and then the week prior – the hope, that Y/N did trust him enough to open up, and that if he just gave her the time, she’d do so without inhibitions.

Her answer confirmed it to Harry. He had no rights to know what her sex life was like when they weren’t together, he wasn’t her keeper, but the fact that she’d implied, she would’ve let him know regardless, that Y/N so wholeheartedly trusted him with such intimate information made that hope blossom into a glowing flower.

“I haven’t been with anyone either,” his tone was sincere. “I – I couldn’t. I tried to, but I just couldn’t take it that far, because every time I opened my eyes… it wasn’t you staring back at me.”

“Haz…” tears gleamed on Y/N’s bottom lashes, and when they fell, he gently wiped them away. “I’m sorry.”

“No.” He shook his head. “None of that. It was a good thing. Because we’re here, right now, right this second, and it’s you I’m with, and it’s you I wanted. Needed. So, none of that.”

“I just – “

“I know,” he said and pressed his forehead against hers. “I know.”

“Okay… I – “ she took in a breath. “I think you can move now.”

“You sure?”

“Mhm,” Y/N hummed. “Just take it slow at first.”

Harry’s head fell into the crook of her neck. “I’ll take care of you. Promise. Just tell me if it hurts, and we’ll stop.”

“You could never hurt me.”

And as much as her statement made his insides all warm and fuzzy, Harry still moved gently. Slowly he rolled his hips into hers and took in the small moan that left Y/N’s throat. Then once more, and more, and more until he’d set a bruising pace, pounding into her so much, the table next to the sofa shook with the force.

“Fuck, Haz.” It was a breathless whimper, her nails digging oh so deliciously into his back, leaving crescent moon marks for him to admire later. “Feels so good. So deep.”

“And you’re so tight,” he grunted, placing a hand on her lower stomach and pushing down until he could feel himself moving inside of Y/N. “Taking me so fucking well.”

One of his palms came to rest by her head, and the other took the arm of the couch, giving Harry the chance to lean into her even more and finally hit that spot that made all thought leave her head, and all breaths come in short gasps, while she desperately tried to hold onto reality by digging her nails in his biceps.

Not that Harry was fairing any better. With every thrust and stroke, he was slowly coming closer to letting go, to finally getting that release he craved and painting Y/N’s core with his cum, but before that, he just had to, if only to prove to himself he could, get her off one more time.

His palm slipped down from the armrest of the couch, over Y/N’s collarbones, squeezing her breast before finding its way between them to rub circles over her clit.

“Ah, shit,” he moaned, looking at where his cock was disappearing into her, wetness spilling and sticking to his lower abdomen and thighs. “Fuck, dove, I need you to come.”

“ ‘M almost there,” she gasped. “Don’t stop rubbing.”

He didn’t, instead, increasing the pace, and he felt her clench more and more until there was pretty much no way for him to move and that pushed both of them over the edge.

It was an explosion of fireworks without a sound, as bright colours came to life behind their eyelids, but all the noise became non-existent, the most euphoric feeling in the world seemed to replace their blood and replenish their souls with love.

But funnily enough, even though Y/N was the one who’d had two mind-blowing orgasms, it seemed Harry was having a harder time coming down from the high, as he was still shaking, his whole body racked by tremors, hair sticking to his sweat-slicked skin.

“Come back to me, Haz.” Y/N kissed his eyelids just like he’d done to her. “Come back. ‘S alright.”

“Nuhu,” he shook his head, laughter rumbling through his chest and reverberating into hers. “I think you’ve killed me. Absolutely bloody murdered me.”

“Guess I gotta hide your body then.” She smiled, letting her hands roam his back and soothe the pain her nails had left.

“Good thing you’re obsessed with all those crime shows.”

“Gotta get some useful skills somehow.”

Loud banging against the door made the two jump, and Harry whipped his head towards it.

“Are you two done fucking?” Sarah hollered. “ ‘Cause there are people here who’d like to change and get something to eat.”

“What’dya say?” Harry raised an eyebrow at Y/N. “Pizza?”

“You did promise dinner.”

“I did.” He kissed her. God, he was never going to get tired of kissing her. And luckily, Y/N was there to stay.

“Great.” She smiled. “And after that, I’ll get my desert.”

Tags (crossed out wouldn’t take):

Everything tags: @lumelgy @palaiasaurus64 @supernaturalbaesduh @breezy1415 @crazy--me @thatawkwardlittlefangirl @sea040561 @staryeyedgirl @deathbyarabbit @s-c-a-r-e-d-po-t-t-e-r @reblogger-not-a-blogger @m-a-t-91 @dalilx @i-need-a-hero-i-need-a-loki @maladaptive-ninja-returns @averyrogers83 @in-the-end-im-still-trash @gallifreyansass @dewy-biitch @avxgers @unlikelygalaxygiver @magicwithaknife @ollyoxenfrees @bnhvrdy @tvwhoresblog @celebsimagines @thatkindofgurl @sj-thefan @teenwolflover28 @lestersglitterglue @im-squished

Harry Styles tags: @sarcasticallywitty15 @breezykpop @girlboss99 @harrystylesdoesntknowiexist @alliyjane @sirtommyholland

A/N:..... I need a cold shower, yall. Didn’t intend for it to get that explicit, but oh well :D

P.S. my tags are always open :)

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creativeashproductions · 3 years

Text

A Distant Dream V // Luke Patterson

Summary: In 1994 seventeen-year-old Luke Patterson had once again tried to ask out the girl that held his heart. With the belief he would see the younger Mercer girl the next morning he decides to wait confess his feelings. Only to have soft music bewitched the reader into an antique wardrobe with lots of history.

Warnings: Swearing, angst, heartbreak, fluff, talk of death and fluff.

Words: 4.4k

A/N: We’ve come to the end of the Distant Dream mini-series. I truly enjoyed writing this with my whole heart. @merceret I told you I’d use Lucy’s Cordial somewhere in the series. All parts are located in the linked masterlist.

TO BE TAGGED SEND AN INBOX/ASK PLEASE!

Masterlist

The massive changes between the ’90s and 2021 slowly but surely started no longer seemed startling as it had been at first. Carlos had helped you assimilate to homeschooling once he’d admitted he knew about the boys. Ray was still kept in the dark.

2020 ended on a high note. Mostly. With the years in Narnia providing you with the knowledge you flew through schooling. Then you took a job as a waitress at a coffee shop, one similar to the shop the band performed in. The downside to the end of the year was for the band.

Despite performing at the Orpheum, the band hadn’t received as much traction as Luke had desired. They were a step closer to the dream but not as far as the entire band had wished. During Julie’s Christmas break, Luke had overworked the band with little breaks.

“Hide me.” Julie hissed from behind the counter of Ancient Grounds. The Puerto Rican musician escaped the studio to have lunch with you.

Unfortunately, Julie failed to see that without the entire band together, Luke would go to what makes him just as happy. You. That’s precisely what happened as Luke walked in through the entrance of the coffee shop.

“He’s still pushing more practice?” You asked, stacking the clean mugs on the shelf with complete focus. How odd it is to go from being Queen to working in a city as a waitress.

“I love him like a brother, but I feel like my fingers are gonna fall off from playing the piano constantly.” Julie sighed, sliding down the counter to sit on the floor hidden from the approaching guitarist and from your manager.

“Hey!” Luke grinned once his hands fell on the counter to lean over on the balls of his feet. His lips pressed against your right cheek before he fell back onto his feet.

Not a single soul in the half-full Ancient Grounds batted an eye to your awkward stance when Luke kissed you. Not since the boys had become tangible and visible to the general public when they wanted.

“Look to decide to grace me with his presence.” You teased. Your foot nudged Julie in her thigh to urge her to crawl to the end of the counter.

“I have no clue where Julie is. Reggie dipped to join Ray in his errands, and Alex is somewhere.” Luke shrugged, stepping aside when an older gentleman dropped a tip in the jar before leaving.

“Pick a number.” You told the male with one of your dimples on display.

“Eleven,” Luke responded, bouncing on the balls of his feet at the regular game you played together.

Each visit, you’d split a dessert from the menu with Luke along with his favourite mug of tea and your drink of choice; even he knew he didn’t need caffeine with his energy. That was Luke’s favourite thing of being brought half alive from the golden glow they’d received. You were sure Reggie had cried upon eating your Tia’s best recipe.

“Nanaimo Bar Cheesecake. A limited-edition from our Worldwide Treat menu. It’s Canada’s month.”

Luke followed to the counter’s end, where the sweets were kept on a glass viewing shelf. With careful movements, you slid a perfect triangle of the cheesecake onto a beautiful plate. The half-ghost retrieved it to your favourite spot in the garden patio. Julie used the time to sneak out the door with Luke’s back to her.

“What is a Nanaimo Bar?” Luke questioned upon you joining him at the iron-wrought table. One teacup accompanied by a teapot with Luke’s tea and a mug of your drink on an emerald tray.

“It’s a no-bake dessert. The base is a chocolate graham cracker and coconut base with the middle layer a cream filling. The top layer is a thin layer of semi-sweet chocolate.”

Luken nodded, “Ancient Grounds loves cheesecakes.”

“Addie adores inventing new versions of cheesecake. Her best is the Creamsicle Cheesecake during the summer. A staple on the menu.” You responded with a twinkle in your eye. You may not look like the Queen you once were, but you were just as invested in learning about people as you’d done with the Narnians.

“What’s your favourite dessert?” Luke questioned.

“I’m pretty partial to the chocolate cookies Addie makes.” You grinned, leaning closer to the male across from you. You hesitated in continuing, “In Narnia, the pastry chef Cair Paravel employed always had these gorgeous desserts with Edmund in mind. Turkish Delights with a secret ingredient.”

Luke’s smile grew as you talked about the other home you had. A place you rarely spoke about now. You hadn’t even returned to the basement to see the wardrobe like you had before.

“I wish I could have seen Cair Paravel. It always sounds so magical when you talk about it.” Luke’s tone was wistful paired with the twinkle of his hazel eyes.

“It’s a breathtaking place. Everything is lively in Narnia, and after the Witch was defeated, we ruled peacefully for the most part.” Your e/c eyes unfocused on your surroundings to recall all the wonderful times spent in Narnia.

The times you shared a table with Mr. and Mrs. Beaver in their home over the years snacking on the homemade jams. To the times you listened to Mr. Tumnus playing everchanging lullabies on his flute. Even walking the beaches with Lucy in hopes of catching sight of Aslan again. Of gossiping with Susan over the many suitors that came for her hand.

“If you could do it all over again knowing the outcome, would you still do it?” Luke questioned with a tilt of his head. He’d shed the flannel jacket as the sun rose higher in the sky.

You nodded, “Absolutely. The Pevensies were some of the greatest friends one could ever hope to have.”

As usual, Peter wasn’t spoken of in light of the ache that resonated in your heart and the awkwardness Luke felt. A poor choice of avoiding your once husband instead of communicating on the topic.

“Have you ever thought of trying to find them?”

“No point. Peter would be ninety-seven now as the oldest, and Lucy would be eighty-nine. If I recall, it was 1940 for them when we went to Narnia. It’s possible Peter may have joined the war in ’42 when he was eighteen, so who knows if he lived.” Luke was surprised by the nonchalant reaction to the potentially grim outlook on your former in-laws.

However, Luke knew the truth, that you greatly missed the four people who became family during your disappearance. You could fool Julie and Reggie, but you could never fool Alex or Luke no matter how much you tried.

“I’ll see you at home? My break ended.” You swiftly cut off any more talking of your former life. Luke merely watched as you stacked the dirty dishes, only leaving Luke’s cup and teapot.

“I should get back. Julie’s most likely back in the garage from sneaking back.” Luke’s hand pushed through his messy curtain of brunette hair. His words revealing that he’d known Julie had been in Ancient Grounds the entire time.

“How’d-”

“When she sits on the floor, she taps the heel of her shoe on the floor. Same rhythm.” Luke smirked as he chugged the last of the tea, “Don’t tell her. I like when she fights a smug smile with that certain light in her eyes.”

The brotherly role Luke had taken on with the Molina girl was heartwarming, to say the least. Sometimes Julie would begrudgingly ask for advice about her feelings for Nick to Luke’s amusement. He adored being able to tease her.

“I’ll see you later.”

The boy dropped the correct change for the tea on his way out the door into the bright sunlight. Like clockwork, he’d turn into the alley to become intangible to poof back to the studio.

The rest of the day passed by like a breeze in the coffee shop with the late lunch rush and then the dinner rush the busiest time. Jess gave you a ride home in her truck as usual with a promise of a cupcake of Julie’s as payment.

“Did you see him?”

The sudden voice startled you so much your hand couldn’t help but grasp at empty air by your side. Alex screeched as you swung to face him on the Molina driveway.

“Alex! Good Aslan, you startled me.”

“...were you reaching for a sword?” Alex questioned, appalled by your reaction. Your e/c eyes rolled in response.

“Isn’t the saying old habits die hard?” You prodded the baby blue of Alex’s long sleeve shirt. One of the shirts you’d often stolen from him, “And no. I didn’t see Willie.”

Your heart clenched as soon as Alex’s shoulders dropped in defeat once more at the absence of the skater. It had been months now with little sightings of the skater you had yet to meet. The boys kept your presence on the down-low to avoid Caleb’s interest.

“I hope he’s okay,” Alex muttered under his breath. The elder Mercer began gnawing his lower lip in worry.

Gently you interlaced your hand with his hand, his deft fingers playing with the braided bracelets on your wrist. The bracelets had been a Christmas gift from Julie and Flynn with the colours of the sunrise. It grounded Alex more often than not.

“You told me the Club travels around the world. Maybe Caleb’s not in America; maybe his ego needs to recover from his loss.” You shrugged, tugging the teenager into the house. Ray barely waved from his work computer.

Ray Molina had welcomed Alex, Reggie and Luke into the family when he met them in person the day after the Orpheum performance. He’d accepted that Alex was your older brother and had been in Switzerland for boarding school. He understood that Luke and Reggie came as a package deal with Alex, so the boys had worked to clean out the basement.

A few visits to second-hand doors brought furniture for the basement renovated into the boys’ shared suite. Alex still spent most nights in your room; he still feared you'd disappear from his life again.

“I hope you’re right.” Alex muttered in false hope that something would go his way for once, “Oh! The band received an invitation to some underground music festival in England during spring break. We’re hoping to convince Ray and Julie’s aunt to let us go.”

And you could see the band practices would be growing for that breakthrough with the band. And you were correct in your guess merely hours after going to sleep.

At five in the damn morning, Luke burst into your attic bedroom to drag your less than enthusiastic brother from his sleep. You bet your ass you hit the teen in the face with your pillow, which meant you had to crawl out of bed to retrieve the pillow.

“Asshole!” Alex exclaimed as Luke roughly poofed both of them to the studio. Julie swaying sleepily in her sweater and pyjama pants, waiting for the two.

Spring Break 2021 (March 26-April 2)

The youngest member of the tourists proudly displayed her smile, catching sight of the bed and breakfast in the English countryside. Julie had been floored when Ray had given his permission to the foreign festival.

Ray couldn’t hide his excitement for the band, plus all-expense paid, receiving the invite via a relatively small record company.

“First birthday back together,” Luke spoke from your side. Hands intertwined together in the cool wind of England. His arms were covered by his flannel coat in the unfavourable weather of the day.

You hummed, “Never thought I’d be celebrating my seventeenth birthday in England during 2021. Besides, I’ve already been seventeen.”

“I always knew I’d bring you to all the countries in the world.” Luke’s tone was matter of fact, staring at the stage being built under a woman’s guidance in her mid-30s.

The bed and breakfast had a lovely history your tour guide Martin had enthusiastically told on the train ride from the city.

The man with spry greying hair pointed towards the old train station providing facts that interested most of the group. Luke’s arm tossed over your shoulder focused on the songbook, a new one, open in lap. Luke and you had slowly but surely evolved from shy brushes of skin to holding hands and then Luke’s arm over your shoulder. Chaste kisses on cheeks while you reassimilated into the dating world.

“In 1940, this train station deployed countless trains filled with evacuating children away from London during the Blitz. Filled with returning soldiers, mothers sending children to safety and children were torn from all they knew. Each child had a tag to identify them.” Martin explained intently, speaking to the group his organization had assigned him to.

“Where did they go?” Reggie curled into the travel blanket he’d bought specifically for the trip.

“Anywhere safe for them and where they could be cared for.”

“This route is one of many the evacuations used. The bed and breakfast we’re heading to holds a great history as well. It was once the Manor of Professor Digory Kirke during his life and passed down through generations throug-”

Martin’s story faded into the black abyss as sleep took you over by the soothing motion of the train and Luke’s warmth. Luke met the gaze of Alex. The two guys shared a sweet smile solely for the relaxed features of the younger Mercer.

“This is just another step in our journey for Julie and the Phantoms.” Your words warmed Luke Luke when he noticed you cemented your position in his life. You saw yourself in the future of Julie and the Phantoms as a faithful supporter and friend.

“Luke Patterson, correct? I’m Eva.” Your eyes widened, meeting the eyes that reminded you of someone. Just on the tip of your tongue, “My wife Diana will be a few minutes. We’re still getting the stage put together.”

“It’s so nice to meet you. How many people are you expecting?” Luke questioned the older woman. His mind snapped into business mode for the band.

“This is our fourth year putting on the festival at this location. This is the first year we added a wild card option for fans to vote on. Your band rocketed ahead of the other bands.” Eva explained, keeping her eyes on the woman you dubbed as Diana. The pure love in Eva’s eyes is a call to the yearning in your chest.

“I thought a recor-”

“Technically, yes, a record company flew you out. Diana started a small record label a few years back. Cair Oom Records. She’s the first person in both our families to step into a non-traditional career.” Eva explained to the now interesting young couple.

Luke was interested in the record label’s history, whereas you focused on the label’s name. Cair Oom. A call to your Narnia days you remembered.

“Cair Oom?” You interrupted the conversation in pure curiosity. Your eyes drinking in the features of Eva, her freckles and brown eyes mirroring a person from your past.

“The label name?” Eva continued once you nodded in response, “It’s from a childhood story my family passed down. Diana was close to my great-aunt before we moved out here to run the bed and breakfast.”

“Of a dream of a dream. Spare Oom.” It was whispered in the breeze straight in your ear of a voice you vividly recalled—the disembodied voice with the same freckles as Eva but with chocolate brown hair instead of strawberry blonde.

“Y/N? You coming?” Luke’s concerned hazel eyes bore into your distant ones wandering the hills of the property. You hadn’t even noticed Eva leaving towards the Manor.

Your e/c eyes search for the owner of the youthful voice but come up empty. The only people you saw included your group with the odd workers setting up under Diana’s supervision.

“Y/N, are you okay?” Luke stepped right up in front of you, “You’ve been out of it since Eva mentioned the record label.”

“I’m fine. I’ll be right back.” You mumbled, following the woman up the path. Luke stared lost as you disappeared into the door. Eva entered.

The woman stood outside a door within the home, “I never knew what she meant. Not until I saw you Y/N.”

Your foot stumbled back when Eva turned with a soft smile you vividly recalled on a certain Pevensie. Eva unlocked the door to a room with only a picture hung on the wall.

“Narnia.” You breathed, stepping right up to the detailed painting of Cair Paravel. Your fingers tracing the beautiful frame holding it up.

“Correct. My Great-Aunt, in her adult life, adored painting in her past time. It was rare she told Narnian stories, but my mother loved them so much she told them to me as a child.

“Who’s your-”

“My name is Lucy Eva Baker. I was named after my other Great-Aunt, but I prefer going by Eva.” Eva’s words pulled a deep gasp from your throat. Tears building as the truth settled in the room.

Eva shared the same smile and brown eyes as Edmund Pevensie did, even the mature aura wrapped around her. The maturity Edmund had grown into during the fifteen years in Narnia. Without a shadow of a doubt, Eva Baker was the granddaughter of your former brother-in-law.

“Your-”

“Edmund’s granddaughter.” Eva finished with a sympathetic smile, “You featured heavily in each story. I always knew Narnia wasn’t merely a story.”

And then the conversation stuttered when you finally noticed Eva spoke mostly of learning of everything by her mom and Susan. Not a mention passed Edmund being her granddad. A piece of your heart broke, and it seemed the older woman saw it happen.

“W-what happened to…” You couldn’t even choke the question out in the room. Eva’s hand reached out to grasp yours in her own hand.

“I can’t tell you much as that reason that will become clear but in 1949 just shortly before my mom was born there was an accident. Grandpa Edmund and Peter were waiting for the train at the station. The train wrecked, killing the train occupants and many people in the station.” Eva was quick to catch you as a piercing grief-stricken scream exploded in the room.

In the Manor’s tea room, the band and Ray enjoyed a genuine tea time with Diana. Ray and Diana traded stories of their young sons while Reggie restrained himself to savour the food. English tea time begging for genuine manners.

Luke raised his cup to lips before it dropped to the saucer upon an exploding anguished wail from upstairs. Thankfully the cup didn’t break as the American guitarist sprung himself in the direction of the wails—Alex hot on his heels with a call to his friends.

Your screaming drowned out the furious stomps of feet racing in the halls of the Manor to the entrance of the room. Luke’s heart shattered at the pure anguish coating your broken features. Alex roughly pushed his way to tug you into his arms.

Alex’s large hand cupped the back of your head while he rocked you in his arms, “Shh. Let it out.”

“No!” You screamed into Alex’s shoulder. You couldn’t acknowledge Luke’s comforting hand on your shoulder, “N-no.”

“I got you. I’m here. I’ll always be here.” Alex murmured in your ear so softly you almost didn’t catch what he said. Luke dropped to his knees by your side. The three teens unaware as Eva excused herself for your privacy. Eva had watched her great-aunt Susan break every time she spoke of her late siblings.

Seconds passed or maybe years as it seemed to happen to you. But soon, you simply rested against Alex staring at Susan’s painting. Barely blinking in the room causing you suffering. You barely responded to anyone as you battled the grief. You faded in and out of daydreams as the bands performed. Days mixed together. Time didn’t exist to you. You were aware enough when Julie and Ray invited you to shop in London.

To everyone, including your surprise, you agreed. The three half ghosts joining in fear you’d shatter again. Eva and Diana held hands watching the car disappear in the distance carrying a group of musicians. An echo of Eva’s words replacing in the back of your mind.

“Three of five drink at high tide. Four of nine and five of nine stand apart by time. A drop of Valiant’s potion will begin the time once before frozen.”

“Are they-”

“Yes.” Eva spoke before her wife could finish the sentence, “She’ll be returning to Narnia. Decades separating her from the Pevensie siblings.”

Eva was correct. At the station, the location was painful as it was Lucy, Peter and Edmund’s last place they’d been alive. Ray disappeared to use the restroom, leaving the five teenagers to wait for the adult.

“Ouch!” You exclaimed, rubbing a spot on your arm with a grimace. Your eyes glaring at your tall older brother, “Don’t pinch me!”

Alex shook his head, “I didn’t pinch you!”

“Luke!” Reggie squealed, jumping away from the guitarist with a pout on his full lips. The bassist rubbing his stinging cheek, “These cheeks are reserved for my Grannie!”

Luke scoffed at his friend, “Why would I risk the chance of you biting off my finger Reginald?”

“We have bigger problems than whose pinching us! I’m losing my damn mind! First three himbos fall out of nowhere, then a girl trips out a magic wardrobe and now this!” Julie snapped, staring at their environment in the train station tunnel, “I need to be committed!”

You watched breathlessly as a strong gale storm literally tore pieces of the train and the walls of the station apart. Through the train windows, you watched as a bright blue sky increasingly grew. The colour is so clear and vivid in only one place you knew.

The train blew by. The wall behind you changed into stone—the floor into the sand.

“What the fuck?” Alex demanded, twirling around on the new scenery of a beach in what was supposed to be a train station. The poor male kept being thrown off-kilter since the alley in 1995.

You knew deep in your heart where you were. Especially when four people of different heights stood with their backs to you. One individual, the shortest, turns upon feeling eyes on her back. And at the same time, you spoke.

“Lucy!”

“Y/N!”

The two girls ran straight into each other’s arms sobbing in elation and relief at finally seeing each other after a long year apart. The seven additional people who joined the duo collapsed on the ground. Alex cleared his throat.

“Y/N? Are you going to intro-”

“That’s Queen Y/N.” Peter snapped towards the stranger with a pink sweater on. Peter could count on one hand the number of times he’d seen a man wear pink.

“That’s my sister.” Alex snapped, standing at his full six-foot height, pinning a glare on the other teenager. Peter scoffed in response. His face faltering upon finding your hand encased in a male shorter than the blonde.

Without a shadow of a doubt, Peter knew this man was the unseen third person that filled every conversation and room between Peter and Y/N. Peter was very much aware that you weren’t in love with him. He lived with the knowledge for a decade, pretending it was he that you deeply loved. Seeing the person holding your heart hurt.

“This is my brother Alex Mercer and our friends Julie Molina, Reggie Peters and my...this is Luke Patterson.” You gestured to each of them; the Puerto Rican musician shell shocked. Julie now knew why that talking lion you spoke of sounded familiar. Narnia had seen one other visitor years before Julie was born.

Rose Molina’s bedtime stories for her children involved a lion named Aslan and a magical wardrobe made from a special tree. Julie recalled the feeling Narnia birthed if in the world as Rose described it.

“Mercer as in...?” Edmund trailed off slowly.

“My horse. Yes. I guess subconsciously, I still remembered where I came from.”

“These are my friends Susan, Edmund, Lucy and...Peter.” You softly spoke of the eldest Pevensie. His blue eyes sadly meeting yours.

A fondness growing at the sight but a pain blossoming at the heartbreak in his features. It didn’t take a rocket scientist to see Peter had put two and two together on who Luke was to you. And while Peter desired to fight for you, he knew it was a lost cause; time cruelly separated you outside the world of Narnia. You both deserved happiness, so with great pain, Peter let you go.

“C’mon!” Lucy shouted, racing out of the cave on the bright sunny beach. The rest hot on the heels of the youngest member of the conjoined group. As you all goofed around on the beach, you told the Pevensie family all about Julie and the boys.

“Welcome to Narnia, my love.” You murmured to the boy that held your heart in his gentle hands. Luke Patterson beamed. He finally got the girl of his dreams and visited the place you hold dear.

The fun aspect of being in Narnia with both of your family came to a halt when you discovered the ruins. Cair Paravel had become a pile of broken stone and sadness. Not a single Narnian in the distance nor the Beavers or Mr. Tumnus.

“What?”

Julie and the boys’ presence became static in the background while the former Narnia royalty pursued through the ruins. They found the chessboard and the gifts Father Christmas gave them during the Winter Revolution.

Something clicked within Lucy as she almost robotically walked to each half-dead boy with her Cordial in hand. The room went silent as Lucy fed each phantom a drop of the medicinal potion. As soon as Alex closed his mouth, all three boys were enveloped in a blinding silver light.

And the true magic happened. For the first time in twenty-six years, three hearts began pumping blood. A previously frozen clock began beating to the sound of those hearts. The magic of Queen Lucy’s Cordial finished what Julie had started; the three formerly half head phantoms became living humans once more.

What a magical place the world of Narnia is.

(Above is the teacup and pot Luke uses in the Ancient Grounds coffee shop!)

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Julie and the Phantoms Taglist

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#luke patterson imagines #luke patterson x reader #peter pevensie imagines #narnia fics #julie and the phantoms imagines #jatp luke #julie and the phantoms #charlie gillespie imagines #charlie gillespie #peter pevensie #luke jatp #jatp au #narnia imagines #narnia #jatp x narnia #caitsy and ash productions

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ukiyoexo · 3 years

Text

THE PERFECT ONE. — kjm

PAIRINGS — exo, kim junmyeon x reader

GENRES — best friends to lovers, fluff fluff fluff, slight angst

SYNOPSIS — after a ruined date, your best friend decides that you deserve to be treated in the form of a perfect night that leaves your heart warm and your feelings out in the open.

WARNINGS — swearing and sweetness

MESSAGE — hi, @amyeonzing i’m emma, your exol secret santa and this is my (hopefully not too shitty) gift for you. i really enjoyed the time i spent getting to know you and i must say that i think you’re pretty freaking cool!! thanks for putting with my somewhat sporadic asks, i hope this makes up for it

also thanks to mel and lolo for setting up the @exolssecretsanta, it really was fun and definitely worth it!

WORD COUNT — 2.2k+

"i hate guys." you let out in a huff, flopping your body into your best friend's bed, "i hate guys, i hate men, i hate boys, i hate those weird humans with the dicks hanging off their body. i hate them all." you repeat again more descriptively this time, the frustration growing in your chest as you continue your somewhat dramatic announcement. your hands gripping the duvet cover as your head buries into the pillow. the only sense of calm you gain being from the smell of cologne that lingers on junmyeon's sheets.

you don't hear or see him get up, but he does with a small chuckle, pushing away from the desk he was sat in front of at the other side of the bedroom and walking over to the bed calmly. he hovers over the side of the bed your laying on before deciding to crouch down next to you, one hand gently pushing on your arm in hopes of encouraging you to unbury your face. it takes a little convincing — it always does — but you do give in eventually, letting yourself be rolled over, your arms in reponse only folding over your chest as a pout forms on your lips.

"so you were saying," junmyeon nudges you to make room for him on the bed, "men equal bad?" he sits down once you shuffle over, doing his best to hide the small smile that is prying at his lips "men equal very bad." you nod in agreement, the stern look remaining on your face as junmyeon nods. “and why is that this time?”

you shake your head at his question, not really wanting to answer. if you were being honest, you found the truth quite embarrassing, even if you shouldn’t do, you just couldn’t help it. but then again, it was junmyeon you were talking. the man you had known since you were old enough to walk, the man you spent your childhood with, experiencing the epic highs and lows of being a teenager and now an adult. it being junmyeon made you feel a bit better at least and was only reason you were willing to admit the cause of your upset.

“i got stood up.” your face twists, eyes tracing the dappled texture painted on junmyeon’s bedroom ceiling. “i was supposed to go on a date last night with this guy i met through a friend and he fucking stood me up.”

junmyeon shifts onto his side, elbow bent to prop up his head, “oh,” he hums, face morphing into a sympathetic expression, eyes saddened. his hand moves to rest on your shoulder, rubbing soothing circles, “hey,” he begins gently, “there’s no point getting upset over this guy. if he couldn’t be bothered to show up to a date with someone as amazing as you, he’s not worth any of your time or thought in the first place.”

“ugh,” this was the exact reason everyone came to junmyeon for advice and you hated it, mostly because he was always right. you were letting some stupid guy, who you hadn’t even properly met, dictate your feelings and however much you didn’t want to admit it, it was stupid.

“ok.” you nod, lettting a small smile pry at your lips. “who cares about him, right?” you sit up promptly and junmyeon mimics the action. “right!” he cheers on with you but the joy is short lived. “it does still kinda suck though.” your body seems to deflate as the words pass your lips, shoulders caving in on themselves.

it sucked a whole lot in fact. not even because you cared that much about the guy, just the feeling that someone would rather leave you hanging than text to cancel.

junmyeon remains silent for a while before shifting off the bed, making his way around to the other side before grabbing your hands and pulling you up to. “y/n,” he begins softly, “forget him, yeah?” he nods encouragingly and you mirror the action reluctantly, gaze flickering away. “i’ve got a plan and it requires you to not be grumpy.”

your head seems to perk up at his statement, a plan?

your head tilts and it’s enough indication for junmyeon to begin explaining, “go on a date with me instead, a make up for last night.” he offers sweetly, hands clutching yours, and you swear you feel your heart beat fasten. “a date?” you question and he nods again, “a date.” he smiles back, “i’ll make it as perfect as possible and by the end of it, you will have forgotten that prick even exists.”

it hadn’t taken much convincing after that for you to agree, junmyeon was just a friend after all, and what’s weird about going out with a friend?

he had instructed soon after for you to go home and get changed, planning to pick you at seven for the beginning of your date. you had done so promptly, changing into your favourite ‘casual date’ outfit - whatever that meant - before fixing your hair and putting on a light layer of makeup.

and thankfully, unlike last night, when the planned time rolled around, junmyeon showed up too, a bouquet of flowers clutched in his hand that had your cheeks heating. his only reasoning being that you “deserved to know what a proper date was like.”

just a friend, just a friend, just a friend.

you have to remind yourself as he begins to drive after guiding you to his car, taking a deep breath as you scan the road signs you pass, hoping for any clue of where junmyeon might be taking you. the further you journeyed however, the more lost you became, city buildings morphing into fields upon fields. the car drive turning into what felt like more of an adventure as the minutes ticked on. “if you’re going to kill me, at least give me some warning.” you let out in a chuckle and junmyeon laughs back, his hand moving from the steering wheel onto your thigh. the feeling of his skin on yours leaving goosebumps prickling on your leg, “no murder happening here.” he squeezes his hand and just as quickly, it’s back on the wheel.

it’s weird, the feeling that bubbles in your stomach, almost like butterflies. but no, that was stupid. junmyeon was your best friend of course and that was it. even if he seemed to be the one you thought about most.

few words are shared after that, a quiet melody playing through the car from one of your playlists. your head resting against the window. you don’t even notice at first when the car rolls to a stop, junmyeon getting out first and promptly making his way over to your side of the car. the small giggle that passes your lips when he pulls open your door and holds out a hand leaving a rosy shade on his cheeks. he then retrieves the small weaved basket he had tucked in the car boot - the stereotypical picnic type - before gripping your hand once again, leading you down a small path.

it’s a small wooded area, up a slight slope, away from the concrete buildings and pollution. the moonlight weaves its way between the branches and leaves, leaving specs of silver dancing on the ground. rays highlighting the small blue flowers that sit in bundles in the foliage. it’s pretty. in fact more than that, it’s almost ethereal.

the world around you seems to glow, nature left to create its own bubble of serenity. the peace of the night only disturbed by the sound of your footsteps.

it’s a calm, however, that seems starkly contrastinf to the hammering in your chest every time you feel junmyeon’s thumb rub against the back of your palm. sure, you and junmyeon had held hands before, you had even cuddled and shared the same bed, you were best friends after all. it’s just that this felt different. felt special. it felt like something more.

you walk for only a couple minutes before reaching a clearing. it’s on the edge of the hill, surrounded by trees and seemingly secluded from the rest of the world. the only evidence of human life being the glowing lights of the city from what seems be miles away.

he lays out a blanket and places down the basket, opening it to pull out a collection of some of your favourite foods. god, he knew you well.

“how do you know about this place?” your head tilts, eyes scanning junmyeon’s features as you settle onto the picnic blanket. every soft curve of his face almost iridescent in the white glow of the moon and stars. “i just like to come here sometimes.” he responds rather simply, gaze fixated ahead. “when i want to clear my head, or need to be alone.” he continues, voice edging further into a whisper with each word.

“it’s nice.” you hum back, a small smile perched on your lips. “perfect in fact.” junmyeon gains a smile at that too. “i’m glad.”

you remain silent for a while after that, letting yourself enjoy the food and the comfort each other’s presences provided. you weren’t lying when you said it was perfect, it really was.

no one had ever done something like this for you, and you doubted anyone ever would again. it almost seemed too perfect, and somehow almost painful at the same time. to know that this was just a fake date per say and not the real thing left you with a bitter feeling in the pit of your stomach that you couldn’t seem to get rid. but you couldn’t say anything, after all, junmyeon was just a friend.

“you didn’t have to do this, you know?” you whisper after another moment, “but i wanted to.” he responds quickly but gently back. a response that leaves a warm, fuzzy feeling growing in your chest that you can’t stop no matter how hard you try. “i know, but it’s just sad as well i guess.”

your words catch the man off guard, his head twisting in your direction, eyebrows quirked up slightly. “well it’s not real, is it?”

a silence settles once again. a quiet that’s more stiff than serene. leaving your hands sweaty and throat dry. you shouldn’t have said anything, you knew that, but you and junmyeon had always promised to tell each other the truth and that was what it was. the truth. this date wasn’t real. and that was the truth no matter how much you didn’t like it.

“i—” your best friend begins but doesn’t finish, instead shifting in his spot on the checkered fabric. “i guess.” his thumb fiddles with the ring resting on one of his fingers, “unless you want it to be.” he then mumbles, so close to a whisper that he’s not even sure you heard him, but you do. of course you do.

“do you want it to be?” you whisper out your own question in response, junmyeon letting it linger in the air before slowly nodding. his movements small but sure. “i want it to be real, if you want it be real.”

junmyeon admits and you feel yourself seemingly freeze in the moment. the truth bubbling in your throat ready to be blurted out. you couldn’t lie, you knew that, but admitting it was quite frankly scary as fuck.

“i want this to be real, i want something between us too.”

maybe you blurted out too much.

you can feel your cheeks heating with embarrassment, heart thudding so hard you’re sure it could break out of your chest at any moment.

but then he laughs, a small chuckle, a chuckle of disbelief.

it seems out of character for the junmyeon you knew but then he’s threading his fingers with yours and leaning so closely towards you that you’re not sure if anything is as you really know it. “me too.” he lets a smile pry at the corner of his mouth, face inches away from yours as his gaze flickers onto your lips. your gaze however focusing on his eyes. the way they seem to store a thousand stars and hundreds of joyf memories. the small flecs of gold running through the brown that somehow glow even at night.

“can i kiss you?” junmyeon hums and a breath catches in your throat but your head nods promptly nonetheless. the feeling of his lips against yours akin to the feeling of electricity, jolting through every nerve in your body, leaving every hair stood tall. his lips soft and so so gentle, yet somehow still emitting fireworks when you meet with them.

fuck. he was a perfect kisser too.

you pull back reluctantly, the need for air suddenly an inconvenience. you want to kiss him again, feel the electricity bolting through you once more, but instead you can’t stop this big grin taking over your features. “what?” junmyeon lets out in a breathy laugh, “nothing.” you shake your head back, letting your heart swell even more.

you copy junmyeon’s actions when he lies back on the blanket, eyes scanning the star lit sky. and you let him pull you close when he wraps an arm around your shoulder confidently.

“so, do you still hate men?” junmyeon’s head tilts with an almost cheeky grin, fingers playing with yours. you let out a breathy chuckle before shaking your head softly, “you’re an exception. the perfect one at that.”

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novasheadcanons · 3 years

Text

The Brothers with a MC who’s presence is calming their sin

TW: None :3 SFW Fluff

Lucifer

-One word: Denial.

- He was always proud. And he found new pride in being the Avatar he is. He would never allow anything else to happen.

- But you wormed your way almost to easy into the eldest heart.

- You started bringing him tea and a snack in the evening, when the others were getting ready for bed and you knew he was still working. The amount of paperwork seemingly endless.

- He scroffed the first time you did this. He didn’t need a weak human to take care of him.

- He will absolutly deny how quickly he was looking forward to seeing you in the evening, a gentle smile your lips and delicious tea and his favourite cake in your hands.

- You humbled him. Soft whispers of comfort in the night when he was overworked, stressed and trying to ingnore painful memories. He allowes you to care for him when he previously would have strangled anyone who saw him like this. Now he’s questioning what he did to deserve you.

- He leans into your touch and reaches out for you in return.

- What was previously limited to when you two were alone starts to seep into his daily life with the brothers as well.

- He recrognizes his shortcomings and flaws more, but still struggles to act on it. But he becomes more forgiving. His brothers were sure he was deadly ill the first time they noticed.

- Lucifer will always be the embodyment of pride, but he becomes softer around the edges.

- He like to pull you on his lap and stroke over your cheek. It never fails to make him smile when you look at him with so much adoration.

- “You know I can’t let you go just yet, right?”

Mammon

-He thinks he’s dying. No joke. He has been googling his ‘symtoms’ 6 time now. - But ‘Help I’m the Avatar of Greed but I feel weird!’ doesn’t really bring forth anything useful.

- Mammon’s greed is something he never had any control over, and he still doesn’t. At least no concious control.

- It starts when you two are out and about. He made a new money making sheme and dragged you along, as usual, but now you two were sitting at this fountain for two hours already and he forgot why he dragged you in the first place.

- Mammon watched you laugh over something he said, but it was a nice laugh. A laugh that didn’t sting. You weren’t laughing about him. This was nice. He wanted more of this.

- When he actually managed to make money and he found himself looking for something for you instead of him, it dawned on him. This dork came home with 4 gifts for you and only one cool pair of shades for himself. Pff, he wanted nothing else anyway, why are you looking at him so surprised?

- He still gets the sticky fingers when he sees something he could sell to make money, but more often than not he placed it back after thinking about how you would not like him stealing and getting in trouble again.

- The Avatar of Greed is still well...greedy. But it changes. Mammon feels so fuzzy inside when you're happy, laughing, reaching out towards him. He finally noticed how much more he wants of this. No amount of grimm could outshine your smile when you look at him. You filled the emptiness he tried to stuff with grimm, clothes and jewelry.

- He hugged you close one night, not knowing you were still awake. You had been watching a movie together and decided that you would be sleeping here, to tired to go back to your room.

- He whispers quietly in your hair while pulling you even closer to his chest. “Ya are the biggest tressure I ever held...”

Leviathan

-absolutly oblivious to it. Like, this man does not notice at all.

- It also took a long time. His envy isn’t just jealousy. It is self-deprecation. It is comparing himself to anyone else and always comming to the conclusion that the other person is better.

- It only started when he accepted (for the most part) that you truly were his friend. That you didn’t secretly were planning a long-term joke on him.

- He had been ranting about a new fascination of his for a while now, while you were watching him being so in his element. He looked... happy maybe even a little confident? When he noticed how long he had been talking again he apologized but he didn’t look ashamed like he usually looked. More bashfull, but still smiling. And it didn’t take much convincing to have him continue.

- It was a lot of these little things. But more and more his envy lost it’s sharp edge that used to stab him in the back everytime he so much as thought about being proud of something he achived.

- You helped him becomming more at ease with himself. Your presence reminded him about all the things that were good in this life. Things others didn’t have.

- He realised this when he was complaining about how unfair something was when he looked at you. Patiently sitting there and holding his hand. With this loving look in your eyes.

- The widest smile you’ve ever seen from him streched across his face, lighting up his eyes and he squeezed your hand.

- “What am I doing? How could I complain about something so trivial when I have you by my side?”

- Cue both of you blushing and looking surprised. You couldn’t help but laugh a little when he hid his face in your shoulder when you hugged him. A blushing, blabbering mess

- He may be making progress but he would always be your Levi.

- There will be time where he falls back into his old harmfull thoughts but he knows you will be there to hold his hand. Just like Henry does for the Lord of Shadows!

Satan

-He caught on the quickest and welcomed it the slowest.

- Every since you moved in with them he felt weird when you were in the room. Probably because he was so sensitive. Satan picked up on everything in a room, so every little thing could set him off if he hadn’t learned how to quickly escape and rage in the safety of his room.

- But the more time he spend in a room, close to you, the calmer his mind became. He still picked up on everything but when he glanced at you, or when you softly touched his hand because you noticed his eyes tighten a little, a wave of calm washed over him.

- He did not trust it. At all. Were you influencing him with magic? Were you doing it on purpose? But if you were so powerful that you could calm the Avatar of Wrath with a single touch why were you always so close to dying??

- As usual for Satan he spend days researching, trying to find anything. Without success.

- He barged into your room, agitated by the lack of success. Satan had nearly kicked your door open. And froze when he saw you.

- You were laying your back, your legs streched out and propped up on the wall. Your D.D.D making contact with your face when he had barged in. He couldn’d help but to laugh a little. His previous anger forgotten

- Calmly he closed the door and joining you on the bed, where you had just set up and were rubbing your forehead. “The fuck, Satan?”

- He smiled softly, taking your hand in his so he could give the red spot on your forehead a little peck. “Let me make it better.”

- Maybe it wasn’t so important why and how. You calmed his wrath finally making place for something else.

- When his brothers catched on they would practially dump you on top of Satan whenever he worked himself into a rage. Works like a charm.

-He never said anything to you, but you knew. The look in his eyes told you everything.

Asmodeus

-For him the transission was so smothly he didn’t notices it for a while. He started complimenting you, without complimenting himself while doing it. He didn’t praise his outer beauty with nearly every single breath anymore. Still alot (Have you seen him?) but less desperatly. Asmo forgot to post his morning selfies twice in a row because he lazed around in bed with you.

- It irretated him to no end for weeks now. Something felt off and he had no clue what it was. It was driving him absolutly insane and his brothers were acting like they knew why, but noone would tell him anything!

- It was the third week now he didn’t feel like going partying to get praised, get eye-fucked by every passing person...

- Instead you two were in his room, wearing soft pjs and laying on his bed, shoulders pressed together

- You had grapped his hand while talking, gestureing wildly exited about something.

- It wasn’t that he didn’t enjoy you talking, or wasn’t interessted but he was to mesmerised by your face, eyes shining with joy.

- Suddenly it just...clicked.

- “It’s you...!”

- He was sitting up, pulling you up with him. You rearly witnessed the Avatar of Lust looking at you so...seriously.

- “Asmo...is everything alright? Did I-“

- He had pulled you on his lap, arm tight around you, just holding you as close as possibly to him. You were all he ever wanted but tried so hard to deny. You loved him. Not the Avatar of Lust, but him!

- “I...I love you more than I love myself.”

-You calmed his desprate desire to be loved. To be seen.

Beelzebub

-It started after you made the pact with him, probably because you were spending more time with him now.

- probably the most noticable change out of the brothers.

- It also started of slow. A few less snacks in between classes, not 12 plates of food at breakfeast but 10

- The brothers noticed immediatly but he brushed it off. He was feeling fine. Better than fine actually. Beely felt this warm fuzzy feeling in his stomach. Smiling happily he took another bite, enjoying the taste more than usually before gulfing down more.

- The first time you two fell asleep in a bed together, you had made yourself comftable on top of him, he gently brushed some strands of hair out of your face. You had fallen asleep ontop of him. He was kind of hungry but you looked so blissfully happy...

- In the end he fell asleep, too. And he sleept through the night.

- Imagine his shock when he woke up before you, now really feeling hungry expecting it to be around midnight, as usual, but instead it was time for breakfest... When was the last time he didn’t get up in the night to eat?

- He is still eating an absolutly ungodly amount of food but he doesn’t feel like he is starving nearly every seconds of the day anymore. When he realised it was because of you, he picked you up in a bear-hug. Just holding you close and pressing his face into your neck. You swear you feel your neck getting a bit wet...

- “Thank you...Thank you so much...”

Belphegor

-after being freed from the attic he finally joined the ‘normal’ life in the House of Lamentation again

- the others had already spend a lot of time with you. So they figured it out by now already but they agreed not to tell Belphie for two reasons:

- 1. Nobody wanted him to be dissapointed should it turn out that it doesn’t happen for him.

- 2. They wanted it to be a surprise should it work.

- Belphie felt insecure for a while since all his brothers were already so close to you and he well... He wasn’t exactly starting of a clean plate here...

- So he occupied your time a lot for a while

- He didn’t notices his brothers small changes for that reason

- It started off by being more awake around you when you two had cuddle & nap sessions together. He shrugged it of to just wanting to get to know you more.

- Your presence made him being able to be awake for longer periods of time in the beginning, then when you forced him to participate in activities with Beel and you his energy didn’t drain as quickly as he was used to. When he slept, he didn’t sleep quiet as long but felt so much better after waking up.

- It made him suspicious. So he started watching his brothers more.

- After two month he confronted you at breakfeast.

- “What are you doing to me?” Okay, rude...

- Why were his brothers ginning so stupidly?

- After you spend a while explaining what you and the others figured out he leaned back, taken aback. A soft smile taking over his lips that he could not surpress fast enough.

- Later that night he made himself comtable on top of you, his head on your chest, listening to your heartbeat. He didn’t know what to do, but your lovingly petting his hair made him realise he didn’t need to.

- He still sleeps a lot, often and in the weirdest places, he will always be the Avatar of Sloth but this might not be so bad after all.

__________________________________________________________

Please reblog and like if you liked this! I would love to know what you think of this, so consider leaving a comment. This is my first try on HC for anything :3 My requests are open!

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sazc94 · 3 years

Text

Pietro and Bunny

HELLO

Here is my second entry for the wonderful @msmarvelwrites 2k Challenge.

This a spin-off from my Bucky fic: The three times Bucky broke your heart. Part 1 linked Here.

It follows the same timeline and explores the relationship of Pietro and Reader (Bunny) More.

Words 6034

Themes. Angst, Suggestions of smut. But mostly lots and lots of fluff. 18+ Because of the smut suggestions.

This has two parts and I will upload part 2 tomorrow.

𝐀𝐥𝐥 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐞 𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰, 𝐛𝐚𝐛𝐲?"

Pietro thought you were pretty cool. He thought you and Bucky made a great couple. He enjoyed hanging out with you when you would all hang out as a group. Pietro wasn’t one for girlfriends. Sure he’d had a few semi-serious flings and would occasionally bring a date to the parties after a game and loved how you would instantly make anyone feel welcome. He couldn’t pinpoint the exact moment he started to think of you as more than a friend. It was sometime during his senior year.

At first, he pushed the idea out of his head. You were Bucky’s girl Y/N! You were the cute shy girl Bucky had brought out of her shell, who was still deep down that adorable musical theatre-loving dork. However, when Bucky started getting defensive around him and Sam about who he was texting, Pietro stopped feeling so bad about liking you of course Pietro would never do anything to jeopardize your relationship with Bucky and his friendships with either of you, but he couldn’t help but feel a tang of jealousy towards Bucky.

2010

“Look at Bucky, can’t go 5 minutes without texting his little cheerleader,” Sam said walking up behind Pietro. Bucky was too engrossed in his phone to pay any attention to the pair of them. Pietro smirked.

“Sam, watch this” Pietro said, before breezing over to Bucky and pulling his phone out of his hands. Bucky instantly shot up trying to grab the phone from Pietro, however, he was too quick throwing the phone to Sam.

“Dear Doll, I love you so much and all thought I only saw you this morning, I am already missing you” Pietro sang in a teasing manner.

“Come on guy’s give it back” Bucky grunted. Sam and Pietro kept throwing the phone between them. Suddenly Sam stopped laughing.

“Hey Buck, who’s Nat and why is she asking if you’re going to be around this summer?” Sam asked his eyebrow shooting up. Bucky’s façade faltered for a second. His usual bright blue eyes deepening with an unfamiliar expression. Pietro’s interest was also piqued, he may have wanted you for himself but that didn’t mean he wanted to see you get hurt.

“Oh, she’s just a friend of Jane’s. I met her at that party after our game in Green Bay last year she’s a cheerleader like Jane and Y/N. Natasha and her boyfriend Clint will be in town the summer and she wants to introduce us apparently her boyfriend was impressed with how we played” Bucky said, shrugging it off like it was no big deal. After that incident, Bucky was on his phone around the football team less and started talking about how much he loved you and couldn’t wait to spend some quality time with you in the summer.

November 2011

By the time graduation rolled around Pietro had put any thoughts about the pair of you out of his mind, chalking it up to wanting a relationship as opposed to you. At least that’s what he kept telling himself. You came along to his graduation ceremony. Well, it was for everyone. Pietro, Sam, Wanda, Jane, and Carol. Bucky came along too. Late. But you were there with Peter Parker who was a freshman, he had talent, but he seemed to prefer being behind a camera as opposed to on the field.

The whole gang hung around the field and bleachers after the ceremony. Goofing off and enjoying the last time the group would all be together like this for a while. Peter took photos of you all. Pietro’s favourite was one where he and Sam had picked you up whilst you were in the middle of talking to Carol and Wanda. The laughter that came out of your mouth as you squealed and shouted for the two footballers to put you down made his heart flutter.

Okay so maybe he wasn’t as over you as he told himself he was. Now he could understand what that Taylor Swift was banging on about in that song of hers.

Have you ever thought just maybe?

“Well, well, well, if it isn’t Bucky’s girl,” he said grinning at you. For some stupid reason, probably because Pietro didn’t know what to do with his hands, he ruffled your hair like you were 5 again. He couldn’t help but notice you wince at the old pet name. He mentally kicked himself. Why had he called you that?!

Graduation was the last time he saw you for over a year. Unlike Bucky, Pietro had actually been away at a football camp when Bucky had cheated on you. He didn’t know what had happened. Only knew you two had broken up. Wanda was fiercely protective of her friendship with you and didn’t want to betray you by admitting to those that didn’t know that Bucky had cheated on you. He wasn’t going to lie; he was saddened when you didn’t stay in touch with him after he graduated. But after he started his first year at the University of Michigan, he didn’t have much time to worry about it. He was a Line Backer having secured a football scholarship after college scouts came to see Sam and a few others play, Pietro had caught the eye of the scout from the University of Michigan, all though he was a great player, Pietro didn’t want to play professionally like many of the guys on the team. He was studying Business and Economics.

Since about the age of 15, he and Wanda had always planned on going into business together. Between parties, flirting with the pretty cheerleaders and sorority girls and his studies you became a distant memory to Pietro. That was until one November game in his second year.

The Wolverines were playing the Wisconsin Badgers. Boy did they suck. Not that Pietro minded it allowed him the opportunity to watch the cheerleaders, he knew a few of the girls on the team from various parties, he hadn’t paid much attention to the new girls on the squad. Then out of the corner of his eye, he spotted someone who looked familiar to him. Could it be Y/N? Wanda had mentioned something about you getting a scholarship at Uni for your cheerleading, but he’d been in the middle of a game of Mario Kart with Sam at the time.

He tried to rack his brain’s but then the ball came towards him. He smiled to himself. Showtime Pietro. The game was an easy win. Whilst his teammates cheered Pietro made his way to the side-lines, desperate to know if the girl he’d seen earlier was you. His heart skipped a beat when he heard your familiar laugh. He couldn’t believe it. Pietro came jogging up towards you determined to chat.

“It’s just Y/N” or you can call me cutie you said winking at Pietro, he chuckled.

“How about I just call you tomorrow?” he retorted, you felt yourself blush. Pietro may come across as confident but inside he was shaking with nerves. Was he really doing this? What if you said no? You shrugged before pulling out a sharpie from your bag, you wrote down your number on his arm. He cocked his head puzzled.

“I changed it last year after Bucky wouldn’t stop blowing it up with apology texts,” you said simply wrongly presuming Pietro knew what had gone down. Before Pietro could respond you ran off to join the rest of your squad and headed for the changing room. He couldn’t help but smile to himself as your laughter rang in his ears whilst you walked off the pitch.

“Pietro! What’s good? How’d your game go tonight?” Sam asked. He sounded buzzed and Pietro could hear the faint sounds of a party in the background. Excellent he thought to himself. Sam was buzzed enough to have loose lips but not drunk enough to be of no use and if he was lucky Sam might not even remember half the conversation.

Pietro got back to his apartment, he had zero clues about what had gone on with you and Bucky. It was obvious due to your remark about him blowing up your phone with apology texts that he’d done something. He weighed up his options. Wanda or Sam? Wanda was his twin, and he knew deep down if he pulled the twin card she would tell him, but then if nothing came of this, he would be opening a can of worms with his sister over nothing.

Then there was Sam, he was still pretty close with Bucky and liked to chat a lot. But ultimately, he was like a brother to Pietro, and he trusted Sam to keep his mouth shut. Taking a deep breath and raking his hand through his Silver-blonde hair he picked up his phone and dialled Sam.

“So Sam you’ll never guess who I ran into cheering on the side-lines of the game!?” Pietro tried to sound breezy and cool like it was no big deal, despite the fact he was about to ask his friends ex out on a date.

“ I ran into Y/N. You know Bucky’s girl?” Pietro carried on forcing his voice to sound light. Sam choked on his drink down the other end of the line.

“I wouldn’t let her hear you call her that. That boy broke her damn heart, the fool” Sam said, there was an edge to his voice that Pietro almost missed.

“Wait, what do you mean?” Pietro asked genuinely curious.

“Well remember that little party your sister threw that last week of summer whilst you were away at football camp with some of your new teammates?” Sam asked. He didn’t wait for Pietro to respond before he continued.

“Well, Jane brought her friend Nat along” Sam continued. Pietro took a sharp intake of breath. No, Bucky wouldn’t have been stupid enough to kiss her at a party with your mutual friends, would he?

“Well turns out that Clint guy Bucky talked about wasn’t her boyfriend he was just a really good friend. But by the time we found that out Jane realised both Bucky and this Nat chick hadn’t been seen for at least a good 15, 20 minutes. So, she went to go find Nat. Only to walk in on them fucking. Oh yeah, it was on your bed bro”, Sam finished his story like it was no big deal. Other than the telling disdain in his voice.

Pietro stood stunned. No wonder you had winced at the use of your old nickname. Pietro’s heart broke for you at that moment. He vowed at that moment that no matter what happened between you both, he would do everything in his power to ensure you never had to feel heartbreak like that again.

Pietro will never forget that first date with you. He had come up with some lame excuse of showing you the best-hidden beauty spots of the campus. Not that there were any, he just wanted an excuse to spend some time with you. He wore jeans and a jumper with his beat-up converse.

All though it didn’t look like he had put much effort into his outfit he had spent a good hour agonising over it. In the end, he settled for a faded blue jumper hoping it would make his eyes and hair pop. He met you by the school library and the sun was shining, it was still a chilly November mid-morning.

You had turned up with your hair tied up in a messy bun a few stray pieces framing your cheeks, you had opted for a sweater dress. He remembered because it was loose and comfy but sinched inwards in all the right places. It was a silvery colour almost the same shade his hair was. Pietro swore you took his breath away.

Winter Break 2011

“And that right there is where the fraternity pledges had to stand and sing, I’m a little teapot every time someone put 10$ in the bucket. I didn’t truly understand the strange British Nursery Song or whatever it was, but I did like watching the pledges get embarrassed every time they had to sing when the cute cheerleaders walked past. So, I put 40 Bucks in the bucket when I knew the 3rd Years would be heading to practise” Pietro said pointing to the school statue.

You had nearly fallen over laughing at his story. Pietro noticed how you scrunched your nose up when you laughed. Like a rabbit. No like a Bunny. When Pietro walked you back to your dorm, he wasn’t sure if he was going to kiss you, but when you let him hold your hand, he decided at that moment he would regret it more if he didn’t take the plunge.

The moment he knew he was yours and you were his was at a party, he’d taken you on lots of hot chocolate dates, he knew you didn’t like coffee because it tasted bitter to you and that coca was nice, but you preferred the sweet comfort of a creamy hot chocolate.

It was at a party being held by the Ice Hockey team to celebrate their latest string of wins. You didn’t come to parties often preferring the comfort of a book and a cosy night in, but you always tried to attend parties after the football matches. You walked in wearing a red top and black skinny jeans.

The top wasn’t super low cut, but it hinted at your cleavage, you’d left your hair down for a change in loose curls. You’d recently gotten your hair dyed a deep chocolate brown and it brought out your eyes. Pietro nearly lost his damn mind when his Ice-blue eyes met your chocolate brown eyes after he’d drank all of you in. He excused himself from the conversation he was having with Scott Summers and co making his way over to you.

“Bunny, you look good enough to eat,” Pietro said dipping his head down to meet your lips, your lips were always so warm and welcoming a stark comparison to his cool lips.

“Bunny?” You replied scrunching your nose up. This was the first time Pietro had called you a pet name, you felt your heart somersault.

Pietro was messaging his sister on the drive home. He could tell you had something on your mind, but he knew better than to push you.

“So,” you began.

“What’s up Bunny?” Pietro asked snapping his eyes up from his phone.

“Well, I just thought now might be a good time to talk, we’re clearly going to run into a lot of our old friends, and there’s no way Wanda won’t know something is going on here, and I, I saw your lock screen,” you said. Well yeah Pietro thought, was he meant to be keeping you guys a secret? He didn’t want to, and he had just assumed you were a couple. You did couple type things, watching movies together curled up, holding hands when you guys were out together.

“So you were wondering what we are?” Pietro’s couldn’t hide the amusement in his voice. God, you were adorable. He watched your demeanour change and felt a pang of guilt, the determination in your eyes as you tried to not show that you felt embarrassed.

“Hey Bunny, look at me” Pietro grabbed your hand, wanting you to know how much he truly meant the next few words.

“We are a couple. I’m sorry you felt the need to ask, but I adore you, so we are a thing,” he said stroking circles on the back of your hand. You smiled and nodded to yourself. Pietro held on to your hand stroking circles the rest of the traffic. He couldn’t wait to tell Wanda she was wrong about him never getting serious with anyone.

“Hey Wanda, have you got a second?” Pietro and Wanda were heading out to meet up with you and the rest of the old school gang who had made it home for the Winter Break in the local coffee shop.

“Sure brother, what’s up?” she asked shrugging on her red jacket and lacing up her boots.

“So, you know that girl I told you I was seeing?” Pietro asked, you two hadn’t said if you were going to tell people or just let them figure it out, but he at least wanted to give his twin a heads up. Wanda straightened her brown hair falling behind her ears. She impatiently cocked an eyebrow waiting for her twin to continue. They were going to be late at this rate.

“Well, you know her. In Fact, you’re good friends” Pietro continued sucking in his breath.

“If you mean to tell me you’re dating Y/N, I already know brother”, Pietro froze. “I’m happy for you, but if you break her heart like that James did, I will not hesitate to kill you and hide the body” she continued.

“How did you know?” Pietro couldn’t help but ask, you guys hadn’t been a secret, but you hadn’t exactly announced it to the world either.

“I’m good at reading people Pietro” Wanda shrugged before heading out the door.

“You sly dog,” Sam said chuckling. Just then Peter turned up. Sam’s comment hadn’t escaped you, so you simply shot Pietro a quizzical look, one of your eyebrows arched. Pietro gently shook his head. He’d tell you about the phone call later.

It was great hanging out with the old gang, shame about Carol, and Jane being unable to make it back. Bucky was dating that Natasha chick and hadn’t come home from the holidays. Evidently, this wasn’t a surprise to Sam or Wanda. Pietro however was a bit taken back. That was until he heard how his sister had almost killed Bucky when she had run into him last summer. Carol had had to restrain her. Pietro couldn’t lie he was kind of bummed to miss it.

Pietro and Wanda didn’t celebrate Christmas, but they did celebrate being around people they loved and as the four of you sat around waiting for Peter Parker to make an appearance, he couldn’t help but feel his heart swell. You hadn’t even reacted to the mentions of Bucky. The way your brown eyes lit up when you teased Sam about his poor season or crinkled your nose when Wanda complimented your new hair, made Pietro come completely undone. Not being able to restrain himself anymore he leant in and kissed you, a slow soft kiss. The taste of your gingerbread cookie and peppermint hot chocolate lingering on your lips. When Pietro pulled away, he shot Sam a wink, and you promptly turned crimson. Sam just sat there gawking. Pietro watched as Sam tried to piece together his hazy memory from that phone call.

2012

Pietro absolutely adored the photo you had gotten him for Christmas, displaying it on his bedside table proudly. He had brought you a stuffed bunny for Christmas, cheesy but it made you beam at him.

“A Bunny for my Bunny” Pietro said shooting you his signature grin. Your heart constricted; it was an adorable soft fluffy powder blue bunny.

After winter break things got crazy busy. The year also seemed to rush by, between keeping on top, your rehearsals for the play. Pietro’s football practises, football matches, nationals for your cheerleading competition. It felt like you had barely any time to breathe. Pietro always looked forward to football games, not because he loved playing which he did, no it was because when you were cheering your face lit up, you always had his number painted on your cheek. Your brown hair always pulled up in a high ponytail, accentuating your big beautiful brown eyes that always looked for Pietro’s ice-blue eyes on the field. Mostly he loved the looks of jealousy he would get from the other team when players would be checking you out. Pietro would always come over for a kiss for good luck when he wasn’t on the field. You always giggled about how Mr cool; the confident cocky big-time football player was such a dork around you. Pietro was fast, sometimes your eyes couldn’t quite make out his movements, all you would see was a flash of his silver-blonde hair that peeked out under his helmet. You had started calling him Quicksilver, originally as a joke but it had stuck.

“So, move in with me for the summer,” he had said, his heart pounding in his chest. It wasn’t a big deal really but the thought of waking up to you every day for the summer made him practically giddy. Pietro continued to stroke circles on your bare legs. He was watching Grease, but he wasn’t absorbing what was being said.

Pietro loved every single second he got to spend with you, but mostly he loved the summer. College football season had finished, school was winding down and it meant he got to sit in those quiet moments with you. Pietro had no plans to go home for the Summer.

Pietro adored you more than he was willing to admit, hell he loved you which is why he was always never going to push you for anything more than you were comfortable with. He was content just kissing you, steamy make-out sessions. He just liked being close to you breathing in your scent, in the winter you always smelt like Vanilla and crushed Rose Petals. In the summer you changed your body spray, and he hadn’t quite been able to pinpoint the smell, but you smelt like Peaches, sunscreen, and sunshine. Okay, maybe not sunshine but he felt the warmth of your presence every time you were together. Pietro knew you were stressing about summer accommodation so he couldn’t help but offer up his place.

“Okay, I’ll move in for the summer,” you said. You picked up the remote and pressed pause on the DVD Pietro had been so focused on trying to play it cool he hadn’t even heard you the first time you spoke. When you started undressing, Pietro didn’t know where to look. Sure, you’d spent nights together, but Pietro always left you to get changed in his room whilst he went to brush his teeth. His eyes couldn’t help but wander over your body as you walked into your bedroom. Pietro inwardly groaned and felt himself harden. Trying to take his mind off what he had just witnessed he pulled out his phone. That’s when you appeared in the door frame, wearing nothing but his football jersey, when it lifted to show the skin of your bare stomach Pietro nearly lost his damn mind.

“Well, are you coming or not handsome?” Pietro grinned throwing his phone on the sofa and closing the gap between you in seconds, picking you up and throwing you over his shoulder. Pietro was certain that if he didn’t get his way with you right that second, he would combust.

Winter Break 2012

“You love her, don’t you?” Wanda asked Pietro. You were finishing up tech rehearsals, so Wanda and Pietro were enjoying some sibling bonding by cooking Paprikash. Wanda’s eyes narrowed at Pietro who was avoiding eye contact with his sister. He could feel his sisters warm blue eyes boring into him. Eventually, Pietro stopped washing up and turned to face his sister. Wiping his hands on a tea towel he finally lifted his eyes to meet Wanda’s.

“Yes, of course, I do but that’s not a secret, so what are you actually asking Wanda?” Pietro raked a hand through his silver-blonde hair.

“It's obvious you two love each other Pietro, dearly. But you’re in love with her, you would hang the stars for that girl, and when are you going to admit it? You visibly had a thing for her back in high school and you have healed the damage done by James Barnes. So why don’t you let your guard down and tell her how you truly feel?” Wanda asked. Pietro stood there dumbfounded. Had it genuinely been that obvious to people he had liked you back in high school when you were Bucky’s girl? As if reading Pietro’s mind Wanda answered his question.

“You may have fooled everyone else Pietro, but not me” Wanda returned to her cooking and that was the last of the conversation.

“Are you sure your mum doesn’t mind me staying with you guys for winter break?” you asked twiddling your hair nervously. Pietro chuckled lifting your small suitcase into his car.

“Come on then quicksilver, let’s get going before the traffic builds up,” you said shooting him a grin your worries disappearing.

“Yes Bunny, she wouldn’t hear of you staying here alone. Besides, Wanda would rip my arms off if I even thought about coming home without you” he said pressing a kiss to your temple. Pietro had refused to let you drive saying it was his turn as you had driven last year. You still looked unsure tugging at the selves of your red jumper dress as you walked round to the front of his car. Your brown hair fell in loose waves, still slightly damp from your last-minute shower.

Pietro sensed something else was bothering you but didn’t push it. Instead, he hopped up on the bonnet of his car and pulled you between his legs. Pressing his forehead to yours, he uttered a silent promise that his mum would love you and that that the rest of the old gang would be happy for you both like they had all sworn they were. You looked up at him through your big doe eyes and pecked a gentle kiss on his nose.

“So, who did you say was coming tonight again?” you asked. You were standing in Wanda’s room whilst you both got ready for the small hang out Pietro and Wanda were hosting. Pietro had gone out to pick up Sam and Peter Parker and this girl he was bringing, Gwen. Pietro of course had been right about his mum loving you, you’d spent the last four days feeling welcome, included and at home. Wanda and Pietro’s mum had enveloped you into a big hug the moment she met you.

“Sam, Jane, Peter and his girlfriend Gwen. Carol’s coming, I think she said she was bringing her girlfriend. Now put this on” Wanda said handing you a low cut, slim-fitting black sweater dress. You rolled your eyes at Wanda; you were quite happy wearing one of Pietro’s oversized sweaters and your jeans, but you knew better than to argue with her. Just then you heard the door shut.

“It will be great to have so many of the old group back together,” Sam said shrugging off his jacket as he followed Pietro down to the converted basement.

“How are things between you and Y/N?” Sam asked.

“Sam, they’re pretty amazing,” Pietro said, a slight blush forming in his cheeks.

“Okay, that’s good to hear. Did you know Bucky’s in town for the holidays? I text him saying he should come along tonight; I hope that’s okay?” Sam asked. Pietro shrugged, he hadn’t spoken to Bucky since Bucky’s graduation and even then, that had been by phone. It wasn’t that Pietro actively avoided speaking with Bucky, it’s just that Pietro didn’t have anything to say to Bucky.

The pair of you had spoken in great detail about everything that went down between Bucky and yourself last year after winter break, and Pietro could see you still carried the scars from what he had done to when he cheated on yourself. Just then Wanda and you made your way downstairs into the basement. Pietro felt himself harden when he got a good look at what you were wearing. It was going to be a long night whilst Pietro thought the urge to take you upstairs and fuck you senseless. As if reading her brothers thoughts Wanda smirked to herself, a job well done, maybe now her brother would grow some balls and finally tell you exactly how he felt.

“Bunny, you look. Just wow” Pietro said. Sam rolled his eyes, you giggled before walking over to give Pietro a gentle kiss on the lips. You wrapped your arms around him hugging him close before you felt his hardened member. You cocked an eyebrow at him, but Pietro shook his head brushing your hair behind your ears before giving you another gentle kiss.

After about two hours, everyone had relaxed, caught up and were just chilling. Sam hadn’t heard from Bucky, so Pietro hadn’t thought anything more about it, no sense bringing it up to you if he didn’t show.

Sam had also gotten up nudging Pietro, swearing he would beat him next time. Pietro chuckled, that’s when Sam nudged him.

“You sly bastard Parker” Sam practically shouted. The three of them were playing Mario Kart whilst Taylor Swift played in the background, all though he’d never admit to anyone, including no, especially you. Taylor Swift had grown on him over the past year. Mostly because he loved the way you lit up when you sang along to her in the car.

Pietro was so engrossed in his game with the boys he barely registered you getting up off the sofa next to him. Whilst Sam had been busy yelling at Peter for using Banana peels, Pietro had overtaken Sam in the race. Once the game finished Pietro noticed you weren’t next to him. Feeling empty without you snuggled next to him he got up and stretched. He figured you were probably talking to the girls or something.

“Uh, Pietro, you might want to go save your girl from an awkward encounter with her ex” Sam looked pained. He was realising the error of his ways by inviting Bucky along. Pietro just shot him a puzzled look before following Sam’s line of sight. Pietro sucked a breath in.

“Sam, I swear to god if she ends up in tears tonight because of you, I will not hesitate to punch you in the face,” Pietro said before walking off to the fridge where you and Bucky stood.

“Yeah, schools fine thanks Bucky,” you said politely. Pietro’s heart was beating loudly in his chest, he had no concerns about how secure your relationship was, he just wanted to save you from any unnecessary heartbreak when it came to James “Bucky” Barnes.

December 2012 – August 2014

“Hey Bunny,” he said kissing the corner of your head before wrapping his arms around you.

“Hey Buck, long time no see!” Pietro said. Bucky stood frozen for a few seconds processing what he had just witnessed.

“Hey, Pietro Yeah. It's been a hot minute, so you two are a couple? You guys look cute congrats. Oh man, wow is that Peter over there? I barely recognise him I’m going to go say hey. Catch you guys later!” Bucky said practically running over to Peter. You turned around and kissed Pietro.

“Come on Quicksilver, let’s see if I can beat you at Mario Kart,” you said pulling him over to the sofa. Pietro instantly felt himself relax, glad to see that you hadn’t been impacted by Bucky’s sudden appearance. He grinned at you as he let you drag him behind you,

“What?” you said chuckling at his goofy grin.

“I’m just so fucking in love with you Y/N,” he said. Your heart skipped a few beats. Sure, you had both said I love you, but the way Pietro’s ice-blue eye’s shone at you, the way he had phrased it as being in love with you, made your heart squeeze, butterflies erupt in your stomach and all those other cliché metaphors.

“Pietro, I am going to rock you fucking world tonight, because I feel the exact same way”, you whispered in his ear. Pietro’s eyes bulged out of his head. He lent down and gave you a hungry kiss, sending electricity coursing through your body. When you finally broke free from the kiss Pietro, caught sight of Bucky glowering in the corner of the room ignoring whatever it was Peter was wittering on about.

Winter break came and went. Your second year at Uni whizzed past. Pietro even joined you and your family for your annual summer vacation in Miami, your grandparents were getting on a bit, so you decided to skip the summer production of Hairspray. Pietro joined you for two summers of family vacations in Miami. Your Grandma took a liking to him.

“Pietro, so good to see you again,” she said hugging him. “If I was 55 years younger”, she said shooting Pietro a wink. Pietro chuckled and stuck his tongue out at you.

“See I told you that she loved me the most out of all of you,” he said. You rolled your eyes. Pietro was right your grandma did have a soft spot for him. Who could blame her? Pietro was a true gentleman and his muscles stretched out any shirt he wore. His floppy silver-blonde hair and his goody grin. You were truly a lucky girl. He was going to break your grandma’s heart as much as yours when you two ended things this summer.

Saying goodbye to you was going to be one of the hardest things he ever had to do. The pair of you had spent the last week of summer in Florida with Wanda and her boyfriend James also known as Vision. Tomorrow you would both be getting on separate planes and going your separate ways. You were dancing around in the sea not a care in the world.

Pietro loved the way you were in the summer, the stresses of school melted away. You burned easily so your skin always had a very faint sun-kissed glow to it, but the way you were with your family. That was when you truly glowed. The way you blushed when your parents would talk about how proud they were of you. You were an only child, so your cousins were the closest thing to siblings you had.

And boy did your two male cousins pick on you. Teasing you about being smart, your relationship with Pietro. The way you would roll your eyes at them. Pietro’s heart squeezed with adoration when he watched you huddled in the kitchen with your grandma. Oblivious to the fact he was watching your brow would furrow in concentration as your grandma bossed you about in the kitchen whilst the pair of you cooked up some delicious treats.

“You know brother if you asked her to do long distance and wait for you, she would”, Wanda said sitting down next to Pietro. Wanda’s red hair almost looked like fire in the setting sun. Pietro sighed and shook his head.

“I know, but it’s not right or fair on her. She has plans of her own and we will be busy setting up your fashion label in NYC” he said, raking a hand through his hair.

“Besides, She's Cheer Captain, and I'm on the bleachers. She deserves to enjoy her last year, her heart is in Michigan, where her mum and dad are.” Pietro sighed. Just then you came bounding over. Your black bikini just about covering all it needed too. You plopped down on the blanket beside Pietro, your brown hair trying to escape its messy bun. You rested your head in Pietro’s lap. You giggled as he gently bopped your nose. Swallowing down the ache in your chest.

The pair of you stood wrapped in each other’s embrace at the airport, the rest of the world shut out. Pietro breathing in your familiar scent one last time. He didn’t need to hear you to know you were crying. It was taking everything in him not to cry too.

“Be good Bunny, don’t cause too much mischief with Loki and stay in touch. I love you my little Bunny” he said wiping the tears from your eyes. You couldn’t say anything, so you just held him tight and cried. When you finally broke the embrace and Pietro boarded. He wiped away the few tears that had escaped his eyes.

#pietro maximoff #pietro x reader #pietro x you #pietro fluff #bucky x natasha #wanda x vision #msmarvelwrites2k #marvel fanfiction #marvel au #avengers au

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sintatae · 3 years

Text

qn | part two

qn or quaque nocte: an abbreviation that nurses and other healthcare workers use for medications and interventions to occur every night // 3670 words

pairing: taehyung x reader

genre: nurse!reader, business analyst!taehyung, f2l, mild fake dating, neighbours, angst, fluff, breakfast dates and nighttime strolls

summary: …in which you love the night and he loves the day. you’re grumpy, shy, and keep to yourself. while he’s pure joy, fearless and outgoing. you have the makeup to be complete opposites of each other, but it’s in both of your favourite parts of the day, where you realize you’re a lot closer than you thought.

summary | part one | part two

inspo | masterlist

Buzz. Buzz-buzz. Eyes fluttering open as if angry at the world, you reach under your pillow to find 2 missed calls from Taehyung and 1 (probably drunken) missed call from Bianca. Rubbing your eyes, you look at the clock above your bed to see that is it now 0900 in the morning. On your weekend off.

What in the world?

You open your phone to a flurry of text messages.

Bibi (1): okso ur gonna come out with us again right I miss u come hangout w me u_u [0345]

Jimin (1): So......what happened last night? Also any idea why I’m on the couch with Namjoon lol [0812]

You shake your head laughing at the memories of Bibi’s relentless ploys to get you out of the house and hauling one of Jimin’s listless arms around your shoulders while you dragged him through the backdoor.

Shooting straight up in bed, you remember what happened the previous night and touch your fingers to your lips as the feeling of Taehyung’s lips against yours lingered.

There was never a considerable amount of time that you thought about Taehyung. Truthfully, you didn’t spend a whole lot of time thinking about what he meant to you aside from the fact that he was becoming one of your closest friends in a city far from your own. Before you even realized it, he became a part of ‘home’ to you. Because there was a comfort about Taehyung, almost like the feeling of sinking into your most comfortable pillow after a long day or night. Almost like sitting next to a warm fire on the beach during summer, if you got too close, he shined brightly enough to make you forget your worries. He was chicken soup for the soul. Perhaps it had been the reason you suckered him into this position in the first place. Taehyung was comfort.

Perhaps, it was all starting to make sense to you, despite how oblivious you had been. The way that he always met you on your way home or made sure that you had something to eat. Always inviting you to come hang out with him and the boys or even the way he constantly teased you about sleeping all day, when being a hermit was all you wanted to do. You didn’t even realize how easily he could convince you to hang out, which was a feat that no unknowing person could do.

Taehyung felt the same way too. At first you were just the cute girl next door who didn’t know anyone apart from one friend named Grace from nursing school who made the move to the city years ago. Something about you drew him in, whether it was your loud, bright laugh or the fact that you always got frazzled whenever someone paid more than enough attention to you. You always wanted to make sure everyone was taken care of before you were. It made him want to take care of you, not that you needed it. Despite your stubborn, at times type A personality, you were also oblivious to how magnetic you were. There wasn’t an uncaring bone in your body. He’s heard how rough you have it at work sometimes, and wanted to make sure that you were taking care of yourself as well. He had no doubt that you were an excellent nurse.

Rubbing your eyes and shaking your head to rid yourself of the ????? panic in your head, you open your messages from Taehyung.

Taehyung (1): Wake up!! [0824]

Taehyung (2): Breakfast time, sleeping beauty! [0856]

Ignoring the rush of nerves in your stomach, you reply.

Y/N: hi [0901]

Y/N: You do know what time it is right [0901]

Ding!

Taehyung: Sure do, it’s 9am. Come outside I made grilled cheese. And coffee as promised. [0902]

Getting up to brush your teeth, you reply.

Y/N: You made grilled cheese? Or Jimin made grilled cheese? [0902]

Taehyung: I sprinkled the cheese. [0903]

Y/N: A man after my own heart. [0903]

Taehyung: :) [0903]

You open another conversation.

Y/N: Thanks for the grilled cheese. [0905]

Jimin: ;) [0905]

After brushing your teeth and throwing on a large sweater over your sleeping shorts, you slide your feet through your house slippers and begrudgingly make your way downstairs. You smooth down your bedhead and grab a blanket from the couch to wrap around yourself, making your way to your backyard door. You see Taehyung bring out two steaming mugs of coffee as you pull open the door— trying your best to give him cut-eye for waking you up early (but failing miserably when you see the extra-large grey sweater he’s donning).

Hands hidden in sweater paws, he sets down the two mugs and glances up at you, grin stretching from ear to ear.

“Hi,” You say sheepishly, coming closer to where he’s standing near their couch on the patio. “I’m tired.”

Arms outstretched as you go near him, Taehyung engulfs you in a hug that smells very much like Taehyung- fresh linen and something sweet. Why do you even know this?

Suddenly feeling shy, you playfully shove him off and onto the couch. “You woke me up, jerk.”

“If you were actually upset, then why are you out here?” He says smirking, ends of his lips curled upwards. Plopping yourself down onto the couch beside you, you pick up your cup of coffee, eyes looking anywhere but his.

“Where’s everyone?”

“Jimin left early to open up the café since someone called in sick, Namjoon is in the shower and Jungkook is still sleeping.” Taehyung says in between bites of his sandwich. Elephant in the room. Balling up his napkin and pushing your plate towards you, he starts “So...”

“So...?” You speak while taking a bite, still avoiding his eyes. An awkward beat passes between the two of you, as you both eat in silence, occasionally glancing up at the other. The summer sun shining bright behind him and rising by the minute, you squint your eyes at him.

“About last night... I think I might have drank too much.” He says. There’s a slight sinking feeling in your stomach as the words leave his mouth, but either way, you make sure he doesn’t feel too bad for acting out of character.

“Oh, don’t worry about it at all, it happens.” You say, indefinitely avoiding his eyes. “You don’t have to have regrets.”

“Actually I do have regrets,” He says, hand reaching out to place on your forearm.

“No no no, you shouldn’t. Actually it makes more sense this way, and honestly I was the one that made you come out with me—”

Before going off on one of your nervous tangents, your argument is cut short when Taehyung runs his hand down your arm to place your hand in his. Stopping yourself, you furrow your brows at him as he laughs lightly to himself.

“What I meant was,” He stops to push a strand of hair behind your ear. “I only have regrets because I didn’t ask you out first. And because I ruined my own plan by kissing you prematurely.” Hearing him say he had his own plan makes you laugh, but you’re still confused.

“When did you…even start feeling this way about me? I had no clue.” Sitting up to grab your mug, “I always just thought you were looking out for me as a good neighbour. Or because you thought I was a loser, sleeping all day and not doing anything.” He laughs at this.

“Well, that’s partly true.” He says, laughing as he sees you giving him some side-eye. Leaning back to throw an arm around your shoulders, Taehyung says, “It wasn’t until seeing you every morning on your way home from work and before I left for work myself, that I realized it was what I looked forward to everyday.”

You soften at this, but can’t help to throw in some self-deprecating humour since you’re still reeling from the confession. “You looked forward to seeing this sleep deprived grump coming home from what was probably a rough shift?”

Flashing his wide smile at you again, he says, “Precisely.”

You stop yourself when you almost check your wrist for your pulse, your heart rate must be over 100 at this point because you suddenly feel out of breath and nervous. Opting to just stay quiet, you lean your head against his shoulder.

A few beats of silence pass as both sit in each other’s company.

“Taehyung, why do you sit out here so late after work?” You feel him tense beside you. Sighing, he says.

“Work… has just been kicking my ass lately.” Pulling you closer into his shoulder and staring forward at nothing particular. “I just have a lot of pressure and weight on my shoulders. So I just need to decompress sometimes.”

“Is it the promotion?”

“Ehhh. Among other things,” he says, nervously twirling your hair above your shoulder. “Hey! Does that mean you’ve been spying on me?”

“I can neither confirm nor deny.” Holding your hand up for a high five, you speak, “I’m here for you though.” Laughing, he reaches up to high five you back, locking your fingers between his. Just then you hear the sliding door open. Jungkook.

You make a move to pull apart but Taehyung stops you and says, “He knows,” while shoving some grilled cheese in his mouth.

“Of course I know,” Jungkook says, stealing the other half of Tae’s sandwich. “It was obvious to all of us after you moved in and all Tae could talk about was helping you with your moving boxes because he wanted to be a gOod nEighBour.”

“Jeeze bro, do you need more sleep or something?” Taehyung says beside you, glaring at his roommate.

“Oh another thing, back before we knew you were nocturnal, he’d always wonder when you’d be awake or if you were home. He always took out the trash at night in case he could see you, so we just let him make it his chore.” Jungkook says grinning.

“Alright, alright,” Taehyung says getting up, shoving the younger boy to the door. “That’s enough. There’s more food inside so go.”

Taehyung pushes a backwards Jungkook all the way until he’s inside the kitchen and pulls it closed. Before departing into the house, Jungkook flashes you two finger hearts while smiling.

All you can do is shake your head and smile, mind still reeling at all of these new revelations.

“Last night was fun though, thanks again.” You say, still avoiding his eyes. “You were a good fake boyfriend.”

“Don’t mention it,” The boy says, both of you making eye contact while a beat passes. “Any time you need me, I’m here.” And he was.

Two weeks go by and despite his confessions, you both fall back into your usual routine. Nothing needed to change, except maybe some flirting and a few stolen kisses here and there. Your schedules made it hard to see each other, especially when you were working but you could always find time to meet whether it was in the early morning sun or late at night in the moonlight. There didn’t need to be labels, you were having fun after all.

There was even one random Thursday night that you may or may not have kept him out longer than intended, not that he cared really.

It was 2330 at night and you were at work after picking up an extra few hours to help with staffing shortages on the unit. You had gotten a ride to work with Esther and completely forgot as you were leaving that you didn’t drive. You texted Taehyung after your shift and after learning your predicament, he called you.

“But Tae, it’s a work night! You don’t have to pick me up.” You nagged on the phone. “It’s late. I was just going to order an Uber.”

“Exactly, all the more reason to pick you up.” Taehyung said on the phone. “I’ll be there in 2 minutes.”

“Fine,” You relent. “But let me treat you at least.”

2 minutes and not a second later, the lights of Taehyung’s car flash at the entrance of the hospital. Towing your work bag over your shoulder, you meet him, smiles donning both of your faces. As soon as you’re in the car, you smile sheepishly at him and thank him for picking you up.

“Hungry?” You ask.

“It’s 11:30 at night.”

“...And?” You say. Taehyung just shrugs. “Okay, well I still have to thank you in some way for picking me up.”

He smirks at this, eyebrows raising. As you reach over and smack him on his shoulder, Taehyung’s expression softens and he laughs. “Okay, okay just kidding.”

“Let’s get breakfast.”

And so the two of you do exactly that, stopping at the 24-hour breakfast place just down the road from the hospital. A staple on your nightshifts. You weren’t planning on dining in, but the two of you naturally slid into a booth and shared a plate of Nutella pancakes loaded with strawberries. An hour and a half had gone by without you even realizing, both of you debating over if sweet or savoury was superior. (Taehyung insisted it was sweet, but a savoury crepe was top tier.) You started getting sleepy since you weren’t able to get your pre-shift coffee.

After paying for your food, the two of you made your way back to his car. Hands in your sweater, you bumped Taehyung’s hip as he threw an arm over your shoulder.

While in the car, streetlights passing, you try to stifle a yawn into your arm.

“Tired?” Taehyung asks.

“Yeah, aren’t you?” You say, eyes drifting closed. “You have work tomorrow...”

Taehyung can only smile at you as he reaches over and threads his fingers through yours. You take his hand in both of yours as you lean your head against the seat, facing the window so he can’t see the blush that creeps on your face. Yep, no labels.

The next morning, Taehyung was late for work. You wake up to his footsteps in the backyard, trudging down the steps of your deck. Glasses perched at the end of his nose, you can tell from behind that he’s walking with his eyes closed as he waddles to his car. Wearing a maroon t-shirt and black jeans, he throws his shoulder bag into the front seat before driving off.

Well, at least it’s casual Friday.

To be honest, you couldn’t exactly pinpoint how you felt about Taehyung. There were definitely feelings there, but you guessed it was just you being cautious and wary as usual. That, and the fact that you weren’t expecting to fall or feel anything remotely of the sort for anyone while you were here.

This isn’t part of your plan.

The panic alarms go off in your head once in a while, but you’ve started to ignore them.

The clock in the nursing station reads 0645 on a Monday and as you sit down to finish charting on all of your patients, you get a text message.

Taehyung: Quick coffee date after work and before I work? [0645]

Taehyung: Or are you too tired? You’re off tonight right? [0645]

Always the double-texter.

Y/N: Yes, I’m tired and yes I’m off tonight. But yes, coffee. :) [0646]

Taehyung: Can’t wait.

You smile and shove your phone away to finish charting. Bibi sits beside you and scoffs, rolling her eyes. You eventually told her why Taehyung came with you that night, from the plan all the way to your walk with him.

“What is it, Bibi?” You say sighing, not even bothering to look up from your computer.

“Nothing, nothing…” Bibi says, twirling around in her computer chair. “Just that you’re a big liar.”

“About what?!” Still not turning to look at her. “When have I ever been untruthful?”

“Oh nothing, except maybe to yourself.” She says, smirking at you. “You know, even though we work in the cardiac ICU, you seem to listen to every heart except your own.”

“Ha ha. How long were you sitting on that one?”

A call bell goes off and she gets up to answer it, but not before shooting you a wink. Saved by the bell, you get a moment of solitude and don’t dwell too much on what she said.

You practically run to your car after changing out of your scrubs (and brushing your teeth). Night shift breath is… no joke. Briefly you wonder if you need to touch up your makeup when you see the dark circles under your eyes, but decide against it –Taehyung never cared how you looked after work and you start making your way to the café.

Taehyung’s already sitting in your usual spot on the loveseat, two coffees on the table in front of him. He’s checking something on his laptop while you sit beside him, eventually nudging him in the arm with your elbow when he doesn’t notice you sitting there.

“Hi.” He says, “Sorry sorry, just finishing up this work presentation.” You wave him off, taking a sip of your coffee. “Okay, done. How are you?” He says, pressing a kiss to your cheek.

A soft blush creeps onto your face, and Taehyung grins. “I’m good. I had a fair assignment last night, but they made me charge nurse.” You frown at Taehyung. You didn’t mind being in charge, but you felt like it was the blind leading the blind when you were with your inch of experience. Thankfully you had a good team working last night.

“Aw, I’m sure you did a great job.” He says, an arm thrown around your shoulder. “Besides, we love a strong woman in charge.” He picks up one of your arms, poking at your bicep. “Well, maybe not that strong.”

You shove him back onto the couch, laughing while Taehyung’s hand comes up to smooth out the crease in his dress shirt. “Hey, I have a presentation to do today. I’m already nervous as it is, so be careful with the merchandise.”

“A presentation? With who?”

“Oh you know, the executives. The partners. The works.”

“I’m sure you’re gonna do fine, Mr. Promotion. Just be yourself.” You say, patting his head. “And I’ll be home tonight, we can decompress together. And maybe get some food.”

“I’d love that.”

“Speaking of food, do you want anything? Breakfast of champions to hype you up for your presentation?”

“I’m almost worried to find out what your version of breakfast means.”

“I’ll surprise you.” You say giggling, getting up to order at the counter. You stand and wait for your food—chocolate croissants (for you), a mini breakfast club and a double shot of expresso for Taehyung. Just as you’re about to send a message to Jungkook about working out later, your order is called out.

But as you make your way over to Taehyung, you realize he’s standing and talking to an older man dressed in a suit. You see the way Taehyung is hurriedly packing his laptop into his work bag, and you awkwardly interrupt to hand him his coffee and sub.

“Hello.” The older man says to you. “I’m Mr. Kim.”

“Hi, I’m Y/N.” You say, sheepishly reaching out to shake his hand and glancing at Taehyung sideways.

“Y/N, this is Mr. Kim, CEO of SunnyDaes.” Taehyung says nervously, shoving his hands into his pockets and looking at everything but your eyes. “And also, my dad.”

You were nervous at graduation, nervous about your maid of honour speech at your sister’s wedding, and you almost passed out writing your nursing licensure exam. But in this moment, it truly felt like your stomach dropped out of your ass.

“Oh. Oh! Hi sir, it’s nice to meet you.” You said, unconsciously bowing before standing up straighter.

“It’s nice to meet you too,” Mr. Kim says, with a smirk on his face. “Nice to meet the girl who’s been making Taehyung late for work every day. Do you have work to get to, as well?”

“No, she actually worked last night, Dad.” Taehyung says.

“Oh, did you now? What do you do for work?” Mr. Kim says again, asking you directly, eying you up and down.

“I’m a nurse.” You say, fidgeting with the sleeves of your top, feeling suddenly self-conscious in your sweats.

“Oh, very nice.” He says giving you a soft smile. He adds, “Did you always want to be a nurse? How long were you in school for?”

“Dad, please.” Taehyung says, eyes closing in defeat. “Please don’t grill her. Besides, she needs to get home to sleep. Right, Y/N?”

“Oh no, it’s fine.” You say. “Yes, I always wanted to be a nurse. And I was in school for four years.”

“Ah! That’s surprising.” Taken back, you wait for him to finish. “I guess some young people actually know what they want to do.” Flashing Taehyung a wink, he pats him on the back. “Let’s go. The executives are looking forward to your presentation.”

You look at Taehyung and mouth a quick “good luck” to him. Though your smile says otherwise, he can see the panic in your eyes. You hated surprises and definitely needed time to mentally prepare for well, anything.

Smoothing out his shirt once again, Taehyung makes his way to the café door, his father following behind.

“Oh, and Y/N?” Mr. Kim says, looking back. You nod and he continues, “Would it be alright to grill you later this evening for dinner?”

His back to you, you see Taehyung freeze.

“Um, yeah- I mean, yes that would be alright Mr. Kim.”

“Excellent.”

As they both leave, you sit carefully on the loveseat, thinking about what had just transpired. Feeling numb to your fingers, you wipe your palms on the fabric of your jeans. Long forgetting the croissants in the brown paper bag, you place them on the coffee table in front of you, appetite non-existent.

You can’t ignore the panic alarms now.

AN: hi hi sorry this was long overdue like a year overdue oops, i wrote it and rewrote it so many times before i realized i just needed to post it!! i’m literally posting this before i have to work tonight sooo sorry to leave it on a cliff hanger, but maybe this will push me to keep going hehehe okay anyway i hope y’all enjoy!!

chelsea

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extremelyblackandwhite · 3 years

Text

heiress - 3

pairing: bucky barnes x oc!reader

a/n: this is part three of a four part series based on a song lyrics sent to me by an amazing anon with a reader based on my favourite oc brought to you by me listening to turning page from sleeping at last so i decided to add a quote. hope you enjoy xx

“letters strewn across your bedroom floor. such beautiful words but you can’t remember who they’re for“

“if i had only felt the warmth within your touch. if i had only seen how you smile when you blush or how you curl your lip when you concentrate enough i would have known what i was living for all along”

previous chapter

She entered her past as she stepped into the right wing room. She remembered this room, she remembered it way to well from the shelves on the walls and the book cabinets to the burning smell it still somehow held even after all these years. Her eyes gazed from side to side until they turned purple and ghosts of her memories started to take form. Her eyes widened as she stepped back, trying to run away from the room until two hands grabbed her arms into place forcing her towards the chair where he was, long hair hitting his jaw, strapped like a wild animal. She struggled against the two men, trying to free herself from their hold, yet it didn’t budge, they kept holding her into place as if she was being punished.

- Wipe him again. - one of the men in a lab coat said in a thick Russian accent as the chair lowered down towards an electric head lock. His screams inundated her mind like daggers. Her breath quickened as she started to move her arms to try and get freed for them, to try and help them.

- STOP! PLEASE! - she yelled out, begged as she continued to try and free herself from the two men holding her arms until she fell on her knees. An agony filled scream passed through her lips, overpowering his own screams as a wave of white glow expanded from her to the corners of the room.

- Y/N! - her head was tucked into her legs as someone held her shoulders. Her breathe came out into fast, short paced puffs as he lifted her head to see Bucky standing in front of her holding her arms. What scared her wasn’t him but what surrounded her as she looked around to see everything that laid across the room was gone, the walls itself interrupting from being walls into being made of white glow, her eyes completely white.

- Get away from me. - she pushed away from Bucky, unsure of what she had done, unsure of what she had seen. - I don’t wanna hurt you, I don’t wanna hurt you again.

- Look at me. - he ignored her pushing him away, walking up to her again and lowering himself down to her level. His blue eyes met her completely white ones as he wondered what to do. He didn’t know what to do. - Breathe, okay?

- Okay. - she felt the air enter and exit her lungs slowly as she stared into his blue eyes, so calm.

- GET AWAY FROM HER! - a red glow pushed him away from Y/N to reveal Wanda and Sam who had come to her rescue the moment they heard her scream. She rushed from the door to her friend, holding her hands in hers while Sam went to check on Bucky. - What’s wrong? What did he do? I can’t read his mind.

- He didn’t do anything. I ... I lost control. - Y/N looked down at her hands and at the room which was slowly returning to its normality, with the objects slowly returning. - I don’t know what happened. I walked in and ... it just exploded.

- Guys, we found it. - Monica spoke over the intercom. Y/N’s eyes lingered over to where Wanda had effortlessly thrown Bucky too, an apologetic look, yet she couldn’t understand his look. It was curious almost too curious as if he was looking for clues in her face. Wanda protectively draped her arm over her back, pushing her away from the room which was still haunted by a white-like glow.

She knew that memory, the one she had been stuck in. It was a much too familiar memory of several times she had been punished by watching them ... by watching them hurt him. Madame B was many things but she was a smart woman, a smart woman who carefully plucked out every fear her girls had and used them against them if any stepped the line. Bucky had been one fear too easy to spot, having seen Y/N step up to a guard who had harmed him even after the much taller man had thrown her to a ground. It was a haunted memory for her. - they would always hold her and make her watch as they hurt him. She still remembered his screaming, blood curdling, pain filled screams. Seeing it again, being in that room and have him come to her was just too much.

Yelena and the rest of the team had been left in the dark about everything that had happened. It was best that way; she did not need more people worrying about things she should’ve already figured out. However, Agatha was right and that she knew. Whatever the soul stone had given her was easily uncontrollable if she was in a messy state. If someone had answers it had to be Agatha yet she had learned that dealing with her was a monkey’s paw.

Bucky on the other hand couldn’t stop looking at her. The more he did, the less foggy the memories became from the very time he had seen her to the last time he did. All he could fixate however was on a broken promise he had made her the last time he had seen her. I will find you, I promise. Such pretty words, such a beautiful promise, almost worthy of being in a poem but the truth is, he hadn’t been looking for her. He had memories of her in patches, memories of what he had felt for her and now she was there. He wondered if she remembered him, if she knew who he was. If she remembered ... maybe she didn’t. After all HYDRA and the Red Room had a particular talent at destroying memories with a swift ability. He watched as she listened to Monica explain what they had found and what not, her hair escaping the grip of her ponytail held up by a red piece of fabric tied in a small bow.

- Promise me you’ll remember I love you. - his own ghost voice melodised into his hearing along with the sound of rain against window panes. It wasn’t raining and he wasn’t speaking. - Because they’ll make me forget and you have to remember. You have to remember so you can remind me.

- You won’t forget it. - he could hear her voice as he looked at her but Y/N wasn’t even looking at him. He wondered when she had told him that, he wondered if he had reassured her, he wondered if she remembered when he had told him that. There was so much he still didn’t know but it came in waves, it came in waves explaining what it was. Wanda, however, was staring at him, head slightly cocked to the side in a menacing manner. He looked at the Sokovian woman, trying to read her but he couldn’t. Her mood was a simple as someone keeping her eye on him.

The small plane landed just outside the hex; Yelena jumping from the harbour onto the wilderness the first, followed by Alexei and Monica who were excited enough to study the new notebook but Y/N lingered behind. Flashes of what had just happened rushing through her mind as she stared at the blank wall of the small plane and then back to her hands which were trembling.

- Matter manipulation is messy, isn’t it, dear? - a voice shook her from her own mind. Looking around there was no one but her. She put her hand over her holster, ready to shoot at nowhere.

- What are you doing? - she turned around to see Wanda approaching the jet, having broken apart from the group to check on Y/N. - We need to talk. It’s about Bucky.

- What about Bucky? - she climbed out of the jet to met Wanda.

- I can’t read him anymore. - she sighed. - Did you maybe by accident expanded your “shield” to him too?

- This is not Twilight, Wanda. I cannot expand whatever it is I have.

- Well, I don’t trust him. - she shrugged. - What happened in the Red Room?

- Oh, it was nothing. - she lied, it was something but she did not want to worry Wanda. She didn’t want to worry anyone, she just wanted to get into the hex and go to sleep and that’s just what she did.

She forwent the meeting, last thing she needed was to hear about the Winter Soldier. If there was someone who knew more about the Winter Soldier than the person himself was her and that knowledge was tainted with memories that she wished to relieve yet forget. Laying against her bed she starred at the white ceiling of her bedroom, raising her fingers to play around with the white mist that surrounded them at her will. Element manipulation, that’s what she did. That’s what her file said, that’s what SWORD told her yet element manipulation wouldn’t have made a full room’s objects disappear. Whatever it was, whatever HYDRA and her father had put in her she didn’t know. She always seemed to be the last to know of things that concerned her. Bringing her hand down, she rolled in bed to lay on her side, watching her door with sleepy eyes, hoping she could go to sleep. Of course the universe had different plans as once she felt herself waver between to conscious and unconscious world, she heard a knock against her door. Groaning, she got up from the warmth of her bed and padded towards the door, opening it to slightly to see Bucky standing there.

- Sergeant Barnes, everything okay? - she leaned against the side of her door, staring him up and down.

- Yes, I just wanted to give back the letters Monica Rambeau gave to me. I assume you and your team will be able to decode them better than me ... I guess. - he handed her the stack of letters worn out by time and his own hands. Her eyes moved up from the letters to his eyes, looking for any type of game he could be playing with her. - I guess with you being Pierce’s daughter and all ... maybe he commented with you.

- Ah ... - she forced a smile upon her lips as she took the letters. - You know, I haven’t spoken with my father since I was 10.

- I didn’t me ...

- He didn’t really try to reach out to me either. - she interrupted him. - The only person he has reached out while in prison has been Fury. I don’t even think he would know what I look like.

- I didn’t mean to offend you.

- You didn’t. - she sighed, hand pushing her own hair back. - I wish I could apologise better for what he did to you but I really wouldn’t know how I’d do it.

- I wouldn’t want you to apologise.

- You don’t even know how many apologies I actually owe you. - she looked down to her feet before looking at him. - ... because of my father, I mean.

- Well... if anything there helps. - he put his hands on his pockets. - Or if you know who they’re for ... let me know.

She stood against her door as he left right after that sentence, watching him disappear in the long hallway probably to return to his bedroom. It didn’t really matter, really, she told herself. Yet part of her knew Bucky was much more observant than she could ever be so if there was nothing she could find in those letters. Nevertheless, the most curious side of her nature only wanted to know what is, so she did. She sat down in her bed and grabbed the first letter, pushing it from the envelope onto the comforter. She recognised his handwriting, a bit more messy, probably rushed in ran out ink. He probably had stole one of the sign in sheets old pens which barely worked.

Y/N faltered, refusing to focus on his writing, on his words to her. She knew they were dated after she had ran away from the Red Room and she didn’t want to read his words to her after she had abandoned him. It was too much yet the more her eyes read the date, the more courage she got. Might as well get her heart broken and move on with her life.

Dear Daisy,

today I remembered you and it is probably silly to be writing it down mostly because I don’t expect you to ever read it but if I write it down at least I can remember you again if they make me forget. I remembered the first time I ever saw you yet mentioning it now feels weird as I don’t even know if you knew I had seen you. You had a black bodysuit I am almost certain and black ballerina shoes dancing up to some monotonous music with your hair pushed back with some old red fabric in a small bow. It just came to me staring at that piano myself, maybe as long as that piano exists I won’t forget you yet I don’t know if it will hurt less to remember you or to forget you. All I know is, the moment they send me out I will find you. I promise I will find you.

Well, the two of them were good at broken promises, she thought to herself. Maybe he had reminded himself to find her and chose not to after assessing her actions, maybe he didn’t even remember she existed or what her voice was. She hoped the later was true. She wouldn’t know what to say, what to do if he remembered her. Years ago she used to picture it in her naive mind; running to him, hugging and kissing like in a picture perfect rom com. Now she just wouldn’t know what to say other than beg on her knees for his forgiveness. Not that she deserved it. At least she had that in common with her father, both owed James Barnes an apology which could never be accepted.

Y/N shoved whatever was left of those letters under her bed, hoping to bury them in the same place she buried all her worries. What use was going back to the past? It hadn’t been kind to her then, it wouldn’t be kind now so there was really no use in dwelling in what could’ve been. In what she could’ve been. Childish whims. She let her thoughts simmer, lull her into sleep until she was back into that place, that room which had made her into what she was now. She looked down, dressed in the issued black shirt and leggings, small gun in hand. She looked to the side, Madam B. standing near her in her impecable blue suit with a wood board under her arm.

- It’s just this one and you are gonna win. - she gave her a smile but it wasn’t warm, it was cold, too cold. - Just shot the target, darling.

- What if I fail? - she looked at the person tied to the chair, bag over the head.

- You can’t fail. - the assistant pulled the bag from over the target to reveal Bucky. She took a step behind, faltering as her grip loosened over the gun she was holding. - Shoot him.

- I can’t.

- Shoot him.

- I can’t ... I won’t.

- Fine, then I’ll do it. - she grabbed the gun from her and rose it up to Bucky’s head. She tried to run, to try and put herself in front of her but she was stuck, she was stuck ... and then bang.

She rose from her bed in terror, sweating, breathes coming in and out as fast as they could as she looked around to see the walls of her bedroom. She was safe, she was safe, she was not there. He was safe. Looking down at her hands, the shivering had become and this time it bothered her. She looked weak, frail ... just like her father had described her before, like SWORD and HYDRA described her. Y/N jumped off her bed, running away from her bed to try and find the bathroom or the kitchen ... somewhere she could wash her shivering hands, somewhere she could drown her face in cold water just somewhere. She rushed through the kitchen doors and to the sink, turning on the water before putting her hands under the running water.

- Y/N? Are you okay? - she had rushed so fast into the kitchen she hadn’t even noticed someone else was already there. She turned her head from the sink to look at Bucky but what she saw made her put her hand in front her mouth. He was there, long hair ... with a wound shot on his forehead. She turned her head back to sink, watching her reflection in the sink, her eyes glowing white. - Y/N?

She looked over her should back to him, that look ... what he looked like was gone. He had short hair, healthy skin, no wounds but she had seen it, she had seen it. Bucky noticed the discomfort in her face, taking a step back once he noticed his arm was on full display along with its scars. Sometimes he forgot about how he looked, about how he could freak people out.

- Sergeant Barnes, I’m so sorry ... I didn’t mean to scare you.

- Are you okay? - he wanted to reach out to her, be comforting but he barely looked like a comforting man. - You look shaken up.

- Yeah, I just ... bad dream really. Quite childish.

- It’s not childish. I get them all my time, my therapist say it’s normal.

- I have no reason to have them. - she leaned against the counter. - Why are you here? Midnight snack?

- Just had to think about some stuff and Sam snores. - he joked around, smiling once he saw her lip curl slightly upwards. - I have a question for you. You read those letters, right?

- One of them. Why?

- Do you think she might have loved me?

- Pardon?

- I will reword it. Did you love me?

taglist: @lookiamtrying

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