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#I forgot too much for this one. it could be considered a head empty piece
huehoa17 · 6 months
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Wrong area of expertise
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fanfic-gallery · 1 year
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just one little pat!
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✎ leona kingscholar, ruggie bucchi, jack howl × gn! reader
"their reaction to you touching their ears and tail"
|| headcanon, fluff, crack
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|| leona kingscholar
despises every bit of it
has or had threated to disintegrate any and all who dare to step a foot, even a mere inch, near him
don't even waste your efforts to concoct a 'master plan' in order to catch him off guard; been there, done that; unless you're his little nephew, the rate of your success is fairly low
strong reflexes, would pin you down in a heartbeat
tackled from behind? his tail has just enough strength to swat a regular sized human across a hallway; hurts like hell too, never pleasant
the process, tough maybe even traumatising to some, but the reward right after is one worth the struggle:
"..i can't believe this.." who ever planned this as a sick joke was as good as dead, but he already knows who's behind it all. the laughing of a howling hyena causing a deeper shade of rosy red to dust his cheeks, growing goosebumps on his tanned skin not apparent but fairly visible on closer inspection.
"poor mr kingscholar, whatever will he do to escape this predicament~" soft rumbles of purring increasing with each pat of his silky mane; tail swaying involuntary, thumping against the wooden flooring, mind wishing to be set free from this hellish torture yet body craving more of your warm touch.
"i'll have your head for this-" ruggie smirked, effortlessly brushing off eyes of green, laced with poison, glaring daggers at him. his body trembling from laughter yet still to prevent the measly lion from leaving his spot on the ground. you, of course, barely paid much mind to what displayed upon you, fingers ever so carefully caressing leona's fluff from head to toe. your squeals of excitement growing louder, grip on the housewarden's waist growing tighter.
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|| ruggie bucchi
embarrassing; more so humiliating
isn't very guarded but would be on high alert after the many many times you 'just-so-happened' to have your hand brush against his head
very flinch-y; would even pout a little if you continue to caresses him after his warnings
had used his signature spell against you; had you running around the campus like a mad-lad till your knees turned numb
wish for a certified way to get your daily in-take of serotonin? bribery. what did you expect?
though his prices don't come cheap; better be prepare to have your wallet empty tonight
"erm.. 50 thaumarks..?" the hyena yawned, gloved hands fanning near the entrance of his mouth, tail swaying downwards feeling boredoms sinking its teeth into his bitter soul. 50? you had to be joking- why would he serve himself up to you for a measly 50 thaumark? you were already considered the 'lucky ones'; had it been anyone else, he would have marked up a fortune.
"i've already cut down your cost for the last time- 350 or nothing~" the frustration swirling within your eyes, the way you chewed at your bottom lip; it amused him. he could never understand why would be so desperate for a touch of his mane- absolutely ridiculous.
"ughhh- fine! j-just take it.. here- you happy now-" though he wouldn't say he didn't admired your determination.
"very!" ruggie grinned, fingers already dancing across the edges of light brown-ish paper, greed filling his pupils yet quickly dispersing when arms tackled him to the ground. his face planted against your chest with your hands already scratching at his scalp, upper limbs enwrapped trapped along with his body, leg entangled within yours. he wanted to yell, yell for you to let go- yet he forgot, he had already sold himself to you for the next hour~
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|| jack howl
he doesn't mind it actually
well, that was a bit of an understatement-
he doesn't mind, as long as you both are alone; likely staying within the privacies of each other's rooms; he still has his pride to keep after all
gets extremely red -and maybe has a piece of him die on the inside- if you touched him openly
has a very reactive wolf form; and is why he never transforms near you; 'cause once he's caught- either of you would be willing to let go-
loves a scratch behind the ears and tummy rubsss; no touching the tail though- makes bby very uncomfortable
he wasn't known for having much in that empty head of his; just sports; yet he's not one to give up something without a proper fight even if it's just a couple pieces of paper with words sprouted across them. knowing he couldn't fight this battle alone, he searched you out; despite not having knowledge of any magic had excellent grades in every class, in his eyes at least.
you both got to work; having study session everyday till exams week. alongside much of what was taught within textbooks, he observed your love for patting his ears- he found it strange at first; your hands entangled within his mane, praising him with a 'good boy' with each right answer but he started enjoying it slightly. maybe it inflates his ego or he likes the way your palm feels against him.
but he does know- he doesn't want anyone knowing about his little secret..
your hand grazing the back of his left ear as you cooed ever so sweetly; the paper rolled within your hand in a red circle, '68'. he knew it was a high improvement from his mid-years but you didn't have to reward him here- out in the open as well- the snickers of the two heartslabyul students was enough to get him all flushed.. he doubts he'll hear the end of this till the day he dies-
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eggtartz · 1 year
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Hi can you do hcs about being izana sister/dating kakucho
a/n : *slams fist on the table* i love this sm thankyou anon for requesting and enjoy 🫶🏻
masterlist
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- surprisingly you didn't meet kakucho during gang fights or such considering how your brother, izana is a deliquent
- you two met at dinner when izana invited his whole gang to stay at his house (you awkwardly ate with them that night)
- when izana turned on the projector that played a movie, you finally get to escape into your room but you needed to settle the dishes first
- "do you need help with that y/n?" you heard the man, you know as kakucho asked you. you only heard of him from your brother's stories but this was the first time you seen him. you were scared st first because his scar looked intimidating but izana had always told you that his scar is his biggest insecurity do never be afraid of him
- "oh no kakucho, it's okay. there's not much to do either way i'll bring some snacks so you could eat it while watching the movie if you want?"
- "you're not gonna watch it with us?" he tilted his head
- "uh no?" but you learned from day onwards that your brother's friends would come at random times. sometimes not appropriate at all. after months of adjusting your lifestyle to theirs (which is very wild), you've learned that ran and rindou would come at dinner
- mochi would bring shion at evening to take a nap then go out again
- mucho would bring a lot of desserts from the bakery store, storing them in the fridge and be out at the morning
- meanwhile kakucho and izana would stay home all day. sometimes not going out for a week straight.
- as you were used to them, you always ignored their bickerings and usually prepare food, clean a bit then go to your room to rest. but one day, the house was oddly empty. izana was at the couch eating popcorns
- "anikii? where's the others?"
- "huh? i don't know" you frowned but passed by him to go in your room anyways and took a quick shower
meanwhile
- "oi quick she's gonna come out!" izana said to shion that bought a humongous bouquet of flowers to the doorstep of your room and struggled to knock on it "uh madarame san?! what's with the big flowers wait i can't even see your face madarame san!" you took the flower from shion to see him heavy breathing, the flower too heavy and too fragrant (he lowkey regretted doing this)
- "they're for you y/n chan! from a secret admirer!" he tugged at one of the petals and pulled a paper from it. "here! there's a note!" you took the paper and there was written "mucho at the kitchen has a message for you!" you smiled and went running to the kitchen to see mucho who was not there before, sitting on one of the stools and pushed a piece of cake at you "sit down y/n chan, the thing you're looking for is in there"
- you ate the cake quickly and stopped when you bit into something hard and took it out from your mouth. it was a small ball that could be opened and there was a note in it "the haitani's at the garden!"
- you said thankyou to mucho who was sipping his tea and ran downstairs to the garden to see the brother's beaming a smile at you. "y/n chan! we are expecting you!" ran said while gesturing you to sit down. "now y/n chan this is very important." rindou said seriously all of sudden.
- "what's your type in men?" they both looked at you while you were puzzled "uh why you asked?"
- "no questions allowed y/n we're the only one questioning!" the two brothers bombarded you with lots of questions where you actually forgot about the secret admirer untuk ran gave you a note
- "here y/n chan! good luck!" he said and walked away with rindou. the note said to keep walking until you found a trail of flowers on the garden ground and when the trail ended, you saw the scarred man waiting for there.
- kakucho has prepared a whole speech to why he likes you, why he wants to be your boyfriend but you already launched yourself on him and hugged him tightly (he sees that as a yes)
- meanwhile the others were looking (totally not spying) on you two, izana smiled. glad that one of them at least found love.
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beneathashadytree · 2 years
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Hey! I’m new to your page but I love it so much and your writing is literally amazing!! I don’t want to say you have talent because that under mines all the hard work you’ve put into writing but you are amazing :< My request is a one piece fluff with Sanji, Zoro, Luffy, Kid, Law, Robin, Nami, Killer and and any of your favorite characters too ^ I don’t know if this is considered modern or not but basically them asking you to go grab their wallet and you see their drivers license or ID picture and it’s such an old crusty caught off guard picture like (sanji’s wanted poster bad) and they get embarrassed about it once they see you start laughing 😭. It can be modern or even within the one piece realm I just thought this would be so funny since this just happened to me 💔 Have a good day!!!
-aif
TEENAGE DIRTBAG - SANJI, ZORO, LUFFY, KID, LAW, ROBIN, NAMI, & KILLER X READER
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Warnings : modern AU, cursing, lighthearted teasing from the reader, Kid always has a couple of empty threats at hand, they are all disasters, this is not proofread, reader is gender-neutral!
Genre : fluff, crack
Word count : 2.4K words (oh shit)
Additional notes : Ahhh, you’re being so unbelievably sweet! I’m so so glad you enjoy my writing. I loved this idea so much because it’s the perfect mix of playful and cute. Sadly, I’ve only ever seen Killer like twice and he’s barely said anything, and I haven’t really graspd his personality yet, so please excuse me if he’s OOC🥲 I just wanted to give you a heads up that I only write for a maximum of 6 characters per post, and in headcanon form. If fluff pieces were what you wanted, then I only take single characters per post🫣 I did them all anyways and as fluff pieces because I’m sure you didn’t know this, given that you’re new to my blog. I hope you enjoy this, nonnie! Let me know what you think💗
Requests : Are open! Check the rules over here.
Want to support me financially? Here’s my CashApp!
Masterlist
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“Could you grab me my wallet from my bedside table, sweetheart?” Sanji called from the kitchen, “I’m a little busy at the stove right now, and the set of knives I ordered last week should be here in a few minutes. They’ll need my identification.”
“Sure thing.” Getting up from the living room couch, they went to snatch his wallet off his table. It was a little messy, filled with tiny coupons and various credit cards (yes, including the ones he froze years ago after his estranged biological father had practically forced them upon him). Struggling to pull out his ID amidst all this jumble, they said, “You really should sort out the stuff you don’t use anymore. I’m pretty sure at least half of these coupons have—“
They paused, their fingers finally picking at his ID. “Oh my fucking God,” they choked out, before a wheezing laugh escaped them, “Sanji, what on earth is this?”
“Hey!” he cried out, thumping sounds coming from the stove as he no doubt was switching the knobs off, “Stop looking at that!”
“It looks nothing like you,” they laughed, as he ran to their side. “What’s with the terrible frown? And why did they edit your face to look so… boxy? And—“
“Yes, yes, very funny dear,” he scowled even deeper than in the picture, cheeks burning red with embarrassment. He snatched it from their fingers, as they continued to shake with laughter. “Stupid shitty photographer didn’t even give me a chance to blink before he took it.”
“You do look like you had your eyes open for hours,” they chuckled behind their hand, trying to stifle the sound as he stuffed it back into the wallet, preferably for burial. Shaking their head, they sweetly kissed his cheek, enjoying his raging flush.
“Oh well, might as well keep your handsomeness for my eyes only.”
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“Zoro, did you pay our taxes?” they asked, frowning as they stared at the letter that had been sent to their mailbox.
“…No, I forgot,” their boyfriend grunted from the next room, continuing to deadlift in his little private gym, ��Just use my phone and do it online.”
“Fine,” the sighed, making to get up, “Where do you keep your wallet? I’m gonna need your ID.”
“Probably on the coffee table.”
Humming in response, they followed his instructions and began to take out what looked like his ID, before they loudly cursed bloody murder.
“What’s wrong?” Zoro’s voice was worried, and he soon appeared in front of them with a concerned look on his face, drenched in sweat and a little flushed with the exertion of effort.
“This fucking jumpscare,” they managed to cry out, choking on a laugh as they thrust the ID in his direction, “You look like you’ve been convincted of twenty cases of homicide. What are you glaring so hard for?”
“Shut up. It’s only cause I couldn’t see well,” he grumbled, blushing furiously as he stomped over to reach for it.
Swooping out of his way, they snickered at him, “Was your “not seeing well” also the reason behind the tongue in your cheek and hardened jaw? Or is your face just programmed to permanently look like you want to deck someone?”
“Should’ve done these taxes myself if you were gonna be a little shit about it,” Zoro swore, his entire face blooming red down to his neck. The mortification won over, and he grabbed his ID.
“You probably should’ve, yeah,” they giggled, leaning over to kiss his jaw, much to his chagrin, “Guess you’re not photogenic. Doesn’t matter, you’re the best looking man to me.”
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When Luffy asked them to go for a trip of snack scourging at the supermarket, the implication that they would buy booze was very clearly there. His hands busy with all the bags of food they’d bought, he’d pointed out the bottles of sake and beer he’d wanted, but hadn’t been able to pull out his wallet with his hands full.
“My hands are full, can you get that for me?” Luffy begged, after having huffed and puffed for a few minutes trying to pull it out of his pocket with only his pinky finger.
Chuckling, they nodded and did as their boyfriend asked, before glancing at his ID photo and choking on their spit.
“Holy shit, babe,” they wheezed out, body trembling with their laughter as they handed it over to the cashier, “What’s with that face? Constipated much?”
“Listen, I was hungry,” he moaned pathetically, one of his busy hands pressing onto his stomach as he pouted at them, “Like right now. And the man kept stalling for no good reason. I thought I was going to pass out.”
“So you somehow ended up looking like a wilted flower?” they arched their brow at him as they carried their drinks and tugged him by the arm. “Should I worry about you dying out on me now?”
“Yes, if you don’t hurry and drive us back quickly.” Luffy looked dead-serious as he started moving so fast that it turned into him pulling them along and not the opposite. “Unless you want me to eat the snacks right now—“
“Coming, coming!”
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As per their almost-monthly usual, they got pulled over by the police in the middle of the road, and Kid could only grit his teeth and hiss out a “Fine” when asked for his driver’s license (because past experience taught him that calling an officer bringing him in for speeding a “cunt” was a sure fire way to end up in jail).
He fumbled with his pockets, before realizing that his wallet wasn’t there as it usually was. Before he could ask for it, they found it in the space between the driver’s seat and the gearstick. They quickly pulled out his driver’s license, briefly glancing at it once before their eyes blew comically wide and they slapped a hand on their face, trying to muffle their laughter.
Kid murderously glared at them, before finishing the routine up with the officer. As soon as they drove past him, they let their hand fall and howled with laughter.
“The fuck do you find so amusing?” he growled after they grew increasingly more hysterical.
“Your-your face!” they cried out, tears now falling down their face, “You never told me you had an emo phase! The black bangs, piercings, smokey eye…” they trailed off, interrupted by their loud laughter.
“I think I’m going to actually fucking kill you,” he hissed, despite the light dusting of red on his cheeks, which only fueled their amusement even further.
“Was this another one of your catchphrases in your teenage years?” they chortled, wiping away their tears and very clearly enjoying this.
“I’m parking right fucking now and kicking you out of the car.”
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“Got everything?” they asked Law at the doorstep, pulling their suitcases along behind them.
He nodded, but still went on to flit through his waistbag, checking the stuff along as he did. Their flight was still in a bit, but he didn’t want to turn around halfway through the drive to the airport. “Passport, visa, cash, credit cards, ID… wait. The driver’s license.”
Cocking their head to the side, they looked a little confused. “What do you need that for? We’re vacationing abroad.”
He gave his partner a very pointed look, and they shrugged and went to get his license nonetheless. “Weren’t you the one who insisted on visiting every single monument around the city? We’ll need a rental car for that, and I’m the one that has an international driver’s license.”
Before he could say anything else, a howl of laughter erupted from the bedroom, growing louder as they came up to him. Exasperation in his eyes, he turned to them, already knowing the reason behind their extreme amusement.
“Yes, haha, very funny, Law’s squinting at the camera,” he drawled, holding his hand out, “Now could we get this over with? We’ll run late.”
“Oh no, you’re not getting out of this,” they smirked, clutching the license close to their chest and taking another peek. “The squint’s not so bad, honestly. I can tell you just weren’t wearing your lenses. My problem’s with the god-awful hair.”
“Mullets were a thing when I was 18,” he snapped, trying to come up with an excuse—and clearly failing, if their peels of laughter were any proof. “And most teenagers don’t have much of a sense of style.” Law finally snatched the driver’s license from them, and took his suitcase rolling behind him on the way to where their Uber would pick them up.
Locking up behind him, they grinned, shaking their head. “Not much of a sense of style now either, love…”
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“Robin, darling, I love you, and I would buy you anything you ask for, but we’re going to find ourselves broke by the end of the month if you keep spending ludicrous amounts of cash on book shipments,” they sighed, hurrying over to the bedroom where their girlfriend sat perched on her armchair, book in hand, “I think you need an intervention.”
The girlfriend in question chuckled, setting her reading glasses down, “Oh dear, that must’ve been last month’s ARC package. Let me get my wallet.”
“I already paid for it, but they asked for your ID for confirmation of the delivery. Is it in your wallet?”
Robin looked thoughtful for a moment. “No, I think I left it out on the coffee table when I came back from buying wine for our date night.”
They nodded and made their way out. It was silent for a few moments, before they snorted with laughter. “Oh God,” they choked out, before muffling the sound and opening the door once again. Moments later, it shut behind them, and they exploded into a fit of laughter, bursting into their bedroom.
“What’s so funny?” Robin smiled patiently, watching them fail to catch their breath.
Patting their chest, they finally managed to speak. “Y-your-your face! Why do you look so murderous?”
The woman chuckled, closing her book and walking up to them to glance at the ID. “I think I’d been woken up pretty early that day to take this picture, so I was rather grumpy. The photographer had made an inappropriate comment, and this was the only way I could express my displeasure.”
Their laughter quieted for a moment as they mumbled, “Fucking bastard,” before they glanced at the picture again and giggled, “And what’s with the half-shaved head?”
Robin shook her head, swiftly taking the ID from their fingers and pocketing it stealthily. “Let it be a reminder to not let teenage bullies stick gum in your hair.”
“There’s a lot to unpack in that statement…”
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“I’m telling you, sir, I’m definitely old enough to be driving this.” Nami gritted her teeth, trying her best to smile sweetly at the police officer. “As a matter of fact, I’m old enough to carry out every single legal procedure in this country.”
“No driver’s license, no passage,” he firmly said, though he did hesitate for a second afterwards, probably after noticing just how stunning she was as she fluttered her eyelashes like that.
They placed a hand on her arm. “It’s alright, Nami. I’ve got your wallet in the drawer. Brought it just in case.” Pulling it out, they began to rifle through her numerous cards, before blurting out, “Holy fuck,” and bursting into laughter that they desperately tried to muffle behind their hand, their other hand giving their girlfriend her license.
With a look that could kill, she snatched it and gave it to the waiting officer, who soon sent them on their way. Revving the car back up, Nami glared at them.
“What, you didn’t expect me to comment on that picture?”
“What do you say we forget about that and turn on the radio?” Nami forced a big grin on her face, though the vein in her forehead remained prominent.
“Aw, it’s not that bad,” they cooed, before cracking up, “I mean, of course there’s the outdated perm, and the garish blue glitter eyeshadow, and the very obvious fact that these are not the eyes of anyone even remotely sober…”
“You’re paying for today’s date and next week’s one too,” Nami snapped, before exhaling loudly and slumping in her seat. “God, why’d you have to see the worst photo I’ve ever taken? I’d even had a terrible acne breakout then, so my face was in pain the entire time.”
“It’s alright, love. I still think you’re the most beautiful girl in the world,” they said as they leaned across to kiss her cheek.
Tension left her body, but she still managed to say, “You’re still paying for the next two dates.”
“Fuck, I’d been hoping you’d let that go.”
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Killer had been stopped at the entrance of the concert arena as usual. With his mask almost always on, the security guards always needed to check he was of age by asking for his ID. He didn’t say much, knowing that this was a routine procedure, but he did tense a little with annoyance at having to take time out and possibly miss out on the best seats up front.
“I’ve got both of ours’ here,” they nodded from beside him, taking out both their wallets from their pockets and pulling each of their IDs. When it came to their boyfriend’s, however, they couldn’t help the snicker that left them at the sight of his picture.
“You’re having too much fun with this,” he grumbled, before taking it and handing it over to the man, briefly lifting his mask for a second for him to confirm his identity.
As they began to walk in, they took his hand in theirs, still laughing a bit. “Not my fault you never told me you used to imitate Kid’s punk style.”
“He was the only friend I had, of course I’d want to look like him,” Killer shrugged, “No one told me that straightening hair like mine does that much heat damage though…”
“Can’t believe you had a side part, Jesus,” they chuckled, shaking their head, “Not to mention the patchy beard. And what’s with the panda makeup?”
“Again, Kid’s idea,” he sounded a little annoyed, a light dusting of pink climbing down his neck, “He was all for the kohl-rimmed eyes, but neither of us knew how to apply it—hence why it got all smudged.”
They hummed, squeezing his arm lovingly. “Love the bright red lipstick-hair combo, by the way, but I still prefer the light purple lipstick on you. It’s very… you.”
Killer cocked his head curiously in their direction, wondering what they meant by that. With one last chuckle, they said, “As… interesting as other colors look on you, purple suits you best because it goes well with your pretty blue eyes.” Before he could get flustered and grunt that they were being foolish, they began to drag him by the arm. “We gotta hurry, there’s only 2 front row seats left.”
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Taglist: @stories-that-shaped-me @wifeofkyojuro @finch-ya @livwritesfics
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r5
“Okay, quit it with the drinks. I think that’s enough, hmm? I’ll cover the tab, but for now, let’s get you home… ”
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fluff, bittersweet
t/w: alcohol, drunk reader
The sweet, most colorful, and fruity drinks are the deadliest of all. And no one thought that it would be a good idea to warn the lightweight about that. Perhaps everyone was too absorbed with the current celebration, dancing, drinking, and mingling around, to have noticed the order of drinks making their way to the booth. The table was littered with tall, beautifully shaped empty cocktail glasses. All had their own colorful straws and garnish to accompany the sweet and fruity beverage. And tucked between them was one lone whisky sour.
If Schlatt could help it, he would have kept all those peachy, glittering drinks as far away from you as possible. You were good company to have, but he was not familiar with how you behaved when you were intoxicated. If he knew, he would have been able to avoid this situation; you holding a fruit garnish from one of your drinks to his sealed lips, lowly chanting, “Fruit, fruit, fruit” Your other hand was balancing a drink, its straw sitting loosely on the corner of your mouth. 
What had happened was that Schlatt, being Schlatt, passed a sarcastic comment about never eating anything other than meat and you, nearing nine drinks in your system, took that very literally. Your drunk self was worried about the lack of nutrients he was getting, and you had taken it upon yourself to help that. 
One of the waitresses of this restaurant was passing by your table. Catching your eye, you called for her. 
“Is there anything I can do for you?” The waitress asked. As much as she wanted to, she was not going to question why you were holding a piece of fruit to the mouth of the gentleman next to you, who looked rather unwilling.
“I would like another one of-” Lifting your glass to her face, swaying lightly “these.” 
Drinking the beverage was secondary, picking the fruits out was more of the goal. 
Humph, as entertaining as you were drunk, Schlatt wasn’t going to let this continue nor was he going to let you get completely shit-faced. “Um, okay, no.” He moved your hand away from himself, “quit it with the drinks. I think that's enough, hmm?” 
Your head was down but you still nodded. 
“I’ll cover the tab,” The waitress took this as her cue and excused herself to get the bill. Schlatt downed the rest of his whisky sour and quickly downed yours as well. Attempting to rescue your cocktail was futile considering how he kept you at an arm's distance and pretty much inhaled the drink. Squirming helplessly was all you could do while he teasingly grinned at you. The waitress arrived, and Schlatt wiped out his card to pay for yours and his drink. He commented on how overpriced all the drinks were, “But for now, let’s get you home...What?” 
Your head was still down, slouching with the piece of fruit between your index and thumb. Schlatt let out another huff, “Fine.” At least you weren’t the run-away type of drunk, nor did you try and start fights. As if you were never sulking, you popped the piece of fruit into his mouth with a cheery smile and got up. 
They don’t look like they’re dating… From the corner of her eyes, the waitress chuckled, watching the two of you leave…But they are pretty cute together.
.✦ .  ⁺   . ✦ .  ⁺   . ✦ .  ⁺   . ✦ .  ⁺   . ✦ .  ⁺   . ✦ .  ⁺   . ✦ .
The restaurant was a walking distance from your house which would have taken a little over ten minutes to travel. Well, it should have if you weren’t set so on checking every tree for apples. 
.✦ .  ⁺   . ✦ .  ⁺   . ✦ .  ⁺   . ✦ .  ⁺   . ✦ .  ⁺   . ✦ .  ⁺   . ✦ .
“And we’re here!” Schlatt exclaimed in relief, “Finally. For a second I thought you forgot your keys back there.” Opening the door to your apartment, he turned on the lights. A dim and warm light cast over the familiar living room. 
“Didn’t I?” You asked drowsily, now coming down from the various intoxicating drinks. So you're the sleepy type, Schlatt mused. Clearly, the search for nutrition had tiered you out. He strolled behind you during the walk, making sure you didn't accidentally run onto the main road. 
“Nope, they were just lost in your jacket’s pocket.” He rattled the keys out of the door, shut it close, and then made his way over to what he expected was your bedroom. You had been clinging to his arm for support up till now. Guiding you to your bed, Schlatt was careful to not let you slip and fall off the corner, which seemed very likely. 
While you wiggled very elegantly into your bed, Schlatt had gone to retrieve a bottle of water. Returning from the kitchen he mentioned, "I saw you still have the movie tickets?" They were held up by magnets on the fridge. He remembered that they were from one of those drive-in movie theaters and how unusually clammy his hands got when, upon switching seats, he found himself next to you.
"Of course I do." You replied, kicking your shoes off lazily. 
Though your eyes felt heavy, you felt compelled to recount all the events which took place that day. On a night like this, Schlatt had found himself in your company at the front of the car, where the two of you talked about how and what should be in the movie. The movie itself wasn't particularly interesting but the banter that you two had going on kept you from passing out. He grinned when you brought up how he had tried to heat a microwave popcorn packet with a lighter for fun and got scolded by one of the employees.
The storytelling continued while Schlatt took notice of the various things in your room; the trinkets on your shelves, books stacked messily beside them, 'The Chair' covered with a pile of clothes, your paperwork sitting beside your computer on your desk, and the photographs pinned to the wall behind them. There was one from that particular night.
Looking closer at the picture, you with your arm slung around his neck and his silly hover-hand around you, a familiar tightness clutched his chest. "That happened a long while ago...was it even that fun?"  
This night's mood took a drastic turn.
"...it was the most fun I'd ever had."
++++++
Comments motivate me to write more. Engage and let me know if/how you like the writing. Reblogging/Sharing is much appreciated.
prompt credit: Simping Softness Prompts by @ soulmemes
fruit idea from: pin
master list
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echantedtoon · 5 months
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Friskriel Week Day 6
Day 6: Baking
The room was filled with sing song humming and the smell of weird food in the air lingered everywhere. Not a bad smell, it smelt delicious whatever it was, but it just wasn't anything she ever really experienced before. Usually she would enjoyed something like this but she just couldn't right now. You wanna know why?
It was HOT!!
Well it shouldn't have been a surprise really considering a kitchen was always hot and burning heat, but HOLY MOTHER OF COW!! This kitchen was more like a giant oven on a million degrees with how hot it was. Ok. Maybe that was a little exaggerated but that surely what she felt hovering over the boiling pot and hot stove. What she wouldn't give for a nice cold piece of ice to just slap her face with it's sweet sweet coldness. But unfortunately for her, she didn't have a choice in the matter. Which she hated to bits and pieces.
The humming demon next to her wasn't even breaking a sweat. How was he doing that?! Magic maybe? He was supposed to be a master of that sort of thing wasn't he? Or maybe it was just because he was just used to this sort of thing by now. She didn't know, but she was a bit irritated at the way he was smiling smugly at her.
"A little hot under the collar, Frisk?" His voice asked the smaller human holding the small tray and glaring up at him with a frown. "You should smile more you know."
She just grumbled under her breath and held up the tray slightly when he reached over and grabbed one of the ingrediants off it. WHy did Toriel have to put her on helping Azriel duty? ...Maybe it was punishment for causing Asgore to fall down the stairs, but HEY! It was an accident. How was she supposed to know she would step on his tail and trip down the steps?! Luckily no one was seriously hurt but she couldn't help but feel like this was still some kind of punishment, or maybe it was because no one else wanted to help him make lunch. Being a known food critic they were probably scared he'd make them remake it over and over, not that she cared too much. Tori had made him promise not to do it and he wasn't really interested in eating anything other today than the weird soup looking stuff he had been on about for a while. But to be honest he looked almost done and confirmed it with the next sentence.
The monster hummed staring down inches away from the boiling hot liquid and snapped his neck to her. "Now how about this! All Im missing is the secret ingredient I always use!"
"Which is?"
He held his hand to shush her as his eyes darted around the traywith a hum. "Well, dog gone. It seems you forgot to grab it from the fridge." She made a scowl. What?! How was she supposed to know his secret ingredient or whatever? But before she could retort he squeezed past her and tapped his way over to the fridge. "Now this won't do at all! Never fear! I'll retrieve it. Add all the peppers to the pot, Frisk! And make sure it's all mixed together. Wouldn't want a bland taste now, would we?"
She watched with a frown as he hummed all willy nilly and opened the fridge, the door hiding them from view to each other. She groaned and looked back to the tray. Pepper huh? The only pepper she had was the small pepper shaker by the salt. She shrugged and carefully balanced the tray into one hand while grabbing the shaker in the other, she hovered it over the boiling pot before stopping.
"....Are you sure you want me to dump all of it in? That seems a lot for one pot."
"Of course! All of them." He answered without looking up from the inside of the fridge. "It's what the recipe calls for you know! It wouldn't taste the same."
"M'kay, If you say so." Without another word she began furiously shaking the small shaker. Little specks of black pepper poured into the pot below. It took a couple of shakes which left her hand tired, but the small shaker was empty and just in time for the goat to pop his head back up holding the bag of beef from the back.
"Here we are! Mother's secret recipe." He sashayed his way back over and gave her a look. "Did you add all the peppers?"
"Yeah. You said all of it."
He hummed and looked at the tray before tutting. " You must've misunderstood me." With a hand he grabbed a small bowl of chopped up tomatoes from the tray and held them up. "These sliced hot peppers will give the necessary kick it needs!"
She froze. Wait. THOSE were chilli peppers, then that means she-
"Uh, oh."
He hummed and tilted his head sideways. "'Uh, oh what? You sound like you made a mistake."
"Uh...I may have added the wrong pepper."
He hummed curiously and too her horror turned his attention back to the pot. He curiously looked at the water with narrowed eye but soon enough his face contorted into what she thought was anger since the smile was gone. She jumped when he quickly faced the opposite direction and doubled over. OH CRAP!! She was so dead! She'd be all day remaking it in the hot kitchen! But what came next wasn't what she was expecting at all.
"*ACHOO!!*"
A giant sound of high pitched sneezing shot out and she winced, pulling her head back. A moment later the goat bounced back with a smile like it never happened and looked to her with a smile.
"Oh Dear. It seems we'll have to move by lunch idea to dinner time. It'll be too stressful to try to fix the soup you already turned it into Im afraid."
She tilted her out confused at his smile. "What are you talking about?"
"Well, pepper soup isn't really a recipe one should mess with or be left with unforeseen allergies."
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sinkat-arts · 1 year
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Daisuga WIP (Thursday) Wednesday
So, I decided at to start doing WIP Wednesday. I'm actively working on a long fic that won't be posted for... forever, and it might help me stay motivated if I can post little bits here and there? Anyway, I decided that at, like, 1 AM Pacific Time last night, so... very late. Which is why I'm posting this today. This is actually a part that I've scrapped from the larger fic, but I like it well enough to want to maybe do something else with.
For context, this is after the Interhigh Tournament, which was in June. Since Suga's birthday is also in June, I decided to combine the two. And since it's in Suga's POV, I use Koushi? I honestly don't know how he'd refer to himself in his head;;;; I also juggled the timeline and events of the day after Interhigh around a little bit, which is partially why I scrapped this.
--
13 June 2012
Suga
It should have been a day like any other. Just a Wednesday. There were many like it before and there would be many like it after. But this particular Wednesday was maybe a little different. This one was… well, it was a mixed fucking bag so far. 
“I can’t even be happy on my birthday,” Koushi groused aloud. He picked halfheartedly at his packed bento, but even though his mom had made sure it was full of his favorite things, he just didn’t have much of an appetite today. “Thanks, Seijoh, just what I wanted. A big fat L for my birthday.” 
Asahi took a sip of his juice. His giant paw of a hand dwarfed the box, making it look like a prop from a kid’s toy kitchen set. He gave a solemn nod in agreement, the picture of serious contemplation with the straw of a baby juice box still stuck in his mouth. Koushi couldn’t hold the giggle that bubbled up despite the dour mood.  
“What?” Asahi asked, snapping into attention in a mild panic, “Something on my face?” 
“You’re adorable,” Koushi answered, grinning and reaching over to pat his head, “You just make sure you finish your juice box like a good boy, ‘kay?”
Asahi didn’t miss that he was being teased. “Oh, ha ha,” he grumbled, running his empty hand over his hair to make sure none of it had escaped the tie holding it back, “You’re never too old for a juice box… and anyway, you’re the old man here, not me.” 
“By, like, 6 months,” Koushi returned, but his attention had strayed away from his friend. His eyes scanned the courtyard, seeking. Koushi sucked his teeth in frustration - he hadn’t found his target. Again. “Are you sure…” he began.
“I’m sure,” Asahi cut in, doing a decent job of masking exasperation, but Koushi caught it all the same. The exasperation was well-deserved, though, so he let it slide. It wasn’t that Asahi predicted what he was going to say because he was psychic… he’d just been asked the question already. Twice in the course of 20 minutes. “I saw him this morning, but not since.” 
“Lunch is halfway over,” Koushi said, pushing a piece of fried chicken around. “We could at least eat lunch together for my birthday… Do you think he forgot?” 
Asahi raised his head, face inscrutable for a few seconds. Most of the time, the guy was an open book, he had all the guile of a puppy… but every now and then he had these moments. Moments where Koushi felt like Asahi knew something and was holding back. 
“No,” he said, taking the last, loud draw of juice from the container before setting it down neatly on the table in front of him, “He wouldn’t forget. Something must have held him up… maybe a teacher grabbed him.” 
“You think?”
“Maybe?” Asahi said with a shrug that was somehow sympathetic rather than dismissive, “We could go look for him.” 
It could have been the shitty mood after losing yesterday - which was surprisingly devastating, considering how often the third years had experienced loss since coming to Karasuno - but something really wasn’t sitting right. He didn’t like the fact that he himself hadn’t laid eyes on Daichi all day, he didn’t like the look Asahi gave him, he didn’t like that he was at their table and Daichi wasn’t. He’d expected today to be kind of off, but it was too far off. Something had to be going on. 
“Nah,” Koushi said and started pulling his bento back together, “I’ll go… you, uh… you hold the fort down in case he does come. Text me?” 
Asahi nodded, but that weird look was back on his face. He wished he knew what it meant, but if he wanted to find Daichi and (gently) reprimand him for skipping out on lunch, he couldn’t press. He finished packing back up and turned away, walking at a pace that he hoped hid the fact that he was getting just the tiniest bit scared of what might be going on. 
It’s nothing. Probably just what Asahi said… a teacher asked him to help with something. And Daichi can’t not help someone. The guy’s hopeless. 
Still, his feet carried him faster and faster as he got closer to the nearest entrance to the school. There were a few places Daichi might be, assuming a teacher hadn’t sequestered him somewhere, so he turned himself towards what he thought the most likely spot would be and made his way to the gym.
At first glance, the place was empty, but that wasn’t cause for worry yet. He wouldn’t be on the court, not if there was something wrong, so Koushi made a straight line to the storage room. Closed, but unlocked… someone was in there. As silently as he could, he turned the knob until he felt the weight of the door swing free of the catch, and moved inside with a few soft steps. Ah, and there he was. Leaning against one of the ball caddies, shoulders slumped over and head in hand, Daichi was facing away from the one window that was the sole light source for the room. It was hard to make out his face, bathed in shadow as it was, but it was clear he was… lost. In thought, in his head, he was somewhere far enough away that he hadn’t noticed Koushi’s approach. 
Koushi took a step forward and stopped at the sound of a sniffle. His heart dropped a little as he realized that those slumped shoulders were shaking a little. Even more when he realized Daichi wasn’t holding his head to support it, he was clutching one hand over his mouthing, desperately pressing against it and trying to keep everything in.
Part of him wanted to leave. Slip back out the door unseen. This was something private, something vulnerable. It wasn’t meant for anyone’s eyes, and if Daichi knew he’d seen… would that be a betrayal of some kind?
But that wasn’t all. Part of him wanted to leave because he was scared. Not just of how Daichi would react when he finally noticed him, but of himself. He was terrified of what he wanted to do in this moment. Rush forward, collect Daichi in his arms, find out what hurt and make it go away. How, though? What should he do? What could he possibly do that would help… and still keep him on that highwire he’d been walking ever since they were idiot first years and Daichi had smiled at him like that with his warm brown eyes and the sun in his stupidly handsome face. 
What he wanted, what his instincts said to do, was too much. But his friend - his best friend - was hurting right in front of him, and whatever nonsense his heart was trying to pull right now, Daichi needed… something. It was, Koushi figured, in his job description to at least offer. Daichi could make the choice himself to tell him to leave or let him stay.
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fmdduri · 2 years
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@fmdjake:
it was something that duri can say that he thought he would never do inside of a public place. but, it was something that was done, something that was exciting in a sense, and he was a bit giggly about the fact that it was something that happened. at least the two didn’t get caught, right? nonetheless, duri had made sure this his outfit was back to normal, no wrinkles what so ever, and his hair was all smooth and fluffy like it normally is when he was inside of the bathroom. he did his best to cool down his face too, simply from the blush that was upon his cheeks, pretending like he wasn’t inside of the bathroom with jake. nonetheless, duri washed his hands, as anyone would. he proceeds to dry them off them off with paper towels, before carefully tossing them out. he fixes his hair once more with his fingertips, before he makes his way out of the bathroom, like nothing else was going on. he stands off somewhere, in the rather empty area, awaiting for jake to come out now, simply pretending like he was out here the entire time. 
he had been enjoying the time inside of the base culture complex, his curiosity being something that was simply fulfilled because of how curious he was about how it was going to end up looking like, as well as what was inside of it. though, truth be told, duri forgot that it was something that was happening pretty often because no one really got to hear much about what was going on, besides for the fact that it was something that was happening. he also felt pretty cool to see his design sitting inside of the shop that was inside, it’s something that really meant a lot to him because of how much thought he put into it. he just hoped other people found it useful too - though, it might be something that was going to act as more of an aesthetic piece for others; unlike duri who was going to use it for it’s intended purpose. though, he was also going to keep it in his kitchen for the aesthetic purposes. 
nonetheless, his eyes notice jake once more - that certain glimmer in duri’s eyes reserved for jake and the smile upon his face, something he could never help. he did his best not to blush, simply so he wouldn’t give away the secret the two just shared within the base culture complex. “did you want to look at anything else inside of the complex?” he asked, head tilted just a bit. “did you get to see my heart pot in the shop? i got a little too excited when i saw it there,” he said, a soft laugh leaving his lips. duri would be okay with going to all the places that he’s already seen, considering the fact that he was pretty sure there was things that he missed seeing, but there are a few places he actually didn’t fully see quite yet.
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lampmanliveblogs · 2 years
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And we’re back!
Before we continue though I just feel the need to bring up something I forgot to talk about yesterday. Probably because I was getting tired at that point.
Eda and Lilith are at surprisingly good terms with each other considering the whole curse thing. I would not blame Eda if  she was, you know, a little upset at her sister for it. That’d be understandable. But she seems very cordial about the whole thing. She is helping and supporting her sister who now finds herself in the same situation. I’m wondering if there might still be some negative feelings left to work out… or maybe Eda really just a very forgiving person.
As for Lilith, she is very obviously remorseful for her sins, openly sharing her feelings of guilt and asking Eda for forgiveness. That might be one of the reasons Eda is so forgiving, because Lilith is for once admitting that she is wrong.
This is all relevant to this episode, because we see Eda here being very cold towards her mother. Gwendolyn is here, seemingly, very warm and open. She doesn’t seem to care much about her daughters being outlaws or in Eda’s case a former wanted criminal. I wonder what kind of events might’ve taken place in the past to make Eda so unforgiving towards her mother, but not to her sister.
I’m also interested in seeing what Lilith’s relationship with her mother looked like and how it changed by her becoming a traitor to the Emperor’s Coven and now sharing the curse with Eda… and how Gwendolyn will react to finding out Lilith is the one who gave Eda the curse in the first place.
Although considering the title of this episode… perhaps they don’t want her to find any of that out.
Let’s continue and see.
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"This bitch empty."
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”YEET!” -Eda, probably
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Me too, that went over way too fast.
Look, Eda, I’m not gonna tell you what to do with your body, but maybe Lilith wants her curse removed? You could at least ask her before you sent your mother blasting off again.
We at least got some timeline clues. It was thirty years since Eda first got her curse. As I recall it, witches join a coven when they’re 17-18. Lilith cursed Eda the day before they were to battle over who got to join the Emperor’s Coven. This puts Lilith and Eda in the 47-50 range (since it might not be EXACTLY thirty years since then).
It is also confirmed Lilith dyes her hair black. I wonder if she dyes her hair because Eda lost the colour in her hair due to the curse? Or maybe she just thought it looked more dignified. Imagine the head of the Emperor’s Coven running around in a black dress and with bright orang hair. Or maybe her hair just started naturally greying, and she dyes it to hide it.
Speaking of Lilith, she seems a bit… not too happy over this. She puts herself in front of Eda, vying for her mother’s attention, only to be quickly brushed aside. She gets this expression… disappointment? Jealousy? Over Eda getting all the attention perhaps?
I’m still not sure exactly what to make of all of this. I have a couple of puzzle pieces and can make out a few details, but i can’t see the full picture yet. Maybe if I keep watching, the answers will reveal themselves to me.
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I have a bad feeling about this…
Some more interesting puzzle pieces were tossed my way. I feel like a puzzle robot trying to solve a 3x3.
Gwendolyn has tried to cure Eda before, but it never worked. Thus, Eda is not even gonna bother trying this time. At this point, I think she has come to accept the curse as a part of her that she is simply gonna have to live with. She would rather stick to doing something she knows works, even if it is difficult at times (using the potions to stave off the effects & learning to use glyph magic) rather than going through whatever supposed miracle cure her mother has brought her this time.
As for Lilith… she has not seen Gwendolyn in a long time. She reacts with surprise to learn she visits Eda regularly (as in, she comes around once every year ). This is strange. Lilith was the head of the Emperor’s Coven, that surely would make any parent proud? But Gwendolyn seems to have little interest in Lilith, she is obsessed with Eda and curing her.
As for Luz… well, she said it herself. She would kill to see her mom right now. Luz destroyed the portal to the human realm, severing the contact between her and her mother. She can never ever again talk to her, tell her how much she loves her or do anything. As far she knows, there is no way back to the human realm. It’s too late for Luz. Which is why she might feel compelled to try and ”fix” this whole situation. She doesn’t want Eda to make the same mistake, to miss out on spending valuable time with her mother.
Of course, through those good intentions, she forgets that there might be some very good reasons why Eda doesn’t talk to her mother anymore.
(on a slight sidenote, I can only imagine the kind of nightmares Camila must be having back in the human realm. She sent Luz off to summer camp, only for her to never return. And now she doesn’t answer any texts or calls anymore…)
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luminari-mc · 3 years
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(Mammon x MC/Reader)
Prompt: "She doesn't compare to you. No one does.”
Genre: Angst, hurt(emotional)/comfort.
Pairing: GN!MC/Reader x Mammon
Summary: You and Mammon finally get to enjoy a well-deserving shopping trip just between the two of you. Just as you are about to hit the next shop, your attention is caught by an image advertised in the street.
Warnings: N/A
A/N: I wanted to try my hands at a prompt that is tagged as "fluff", but of course I ended up turning it into something angsty instead. But I like sad stuff, so that still works for me.
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It wasn't often that you got to spend time with Mammon without having any of his brothers around to bother you. But you had made it very clear to them that these few hours after school would be spent with Mammon, and only him. And for today's trip, you two had decided to go shopping in one of the busiest streets in the Devildom.
Clothes and jewelry stores, malls- you had done them all. When most of this time had been spent doing window shopping, Mammon had still insisted on getting at least a few bags of purchased goods for each of you by the end of the day. After all, what was the point of going on a shopping trip, if you didn't end up emptying your bank account only to regret it later?
And so, thanks to the demon's wonderful influence, your arms had now several bags hanging off of them. There was a certain guilt still looming over your head as you realized way overboard you might have gotten with your purchases, but Mammon promised he would take care of any financial problems you could encounter in the near future because of that. You still wondered how he was going to manage it, him being Mammon and all...
"Damn, now THAT'S what I call a good haul! Look at ya!" The white-haired demon grinned as he watch you hop out of the store, the glass doors opening automatically at your presence to let you out. He placed his wrists on his hips as his own bags dangled in his hands. "What'cha got for yourself this time?"
"They actually had that jacket I saw in a magazine the other day!" The doors closed behind you as you showed the white bag which contained the jacket. "You were right, that store was amazing. I can't believe you never showed it to me before."
"Ha! Told ya the Great Mammon knew where the best treasures were! Consider it an exclusive info, because I ain't gonna share more if any of my brothers are around next time." Mammon turned around before flipping a few of his bags over his shoulder, as you instantly began to trot to get to his level.
"What? So all this time you knew about it and you didn't tell me? Just because Asmo comes with us sometimes?" You expressed shock, right before your eyebrows joined together. "Really, as if you couldn't have told me over text or something."
"And have you go without me?! Nah, ain't gonna happen- you'd just get lost and end up in the worst store possible." Mammon glanced your way, and you could only smirk at his poor excuse.
"Sure, you're right. I forgot that humans don't have the same flawless sense of orientation as demons do." Despite your obviously sarcastic tone, Mammon didn't seem to register it as he nodded at your words.
"Exactly! Even if I gave you the full address, who knows where you'd end up? I don't want ya to come and complain to me afterwards, so it's gotta be with me or nothin'."
Even as you rolled your eyes, you noticed Mammon's face slightly turning away from yours, probably to hide the extra shade of color that had appeared on his cheeks ever so discreetly. Even when he was in his usual tsundere mood, it was endearing to see how concerned he was for your safety. And just how badly he wanted to be alone with you.
"So, where to next?" You asked without really thinking, surprising yourself that even after your extensive purchasing, you still wanted to do more. Or maybe it was that you didn't want this date to end right away. The past few weeks had been nothing but the brothers interrupting each other when any of them found themselves alone with you, so getting to spend some alone time with one of them, especially with Mammon, deserved to be extended a bit more.
"Glad ya asked!" As if a battery had been plugged into him, the demon brandished his arm into the air, the bags swinging by his face and missing him by a few inches. "I got this whole place where they're sellin' tons of stuff for pretty cheap, but it's actually authentic branded things. See, they're actually sold to that one guy who then has to sell them to another guy, and..."
As you listened to Mammon explain how he was able to find "authentic stuff" (probably not that authentic, you were pretty sure about that) for less than a quarter of its original price, your eyes found themselves drifting to an impressive ad plastered on a building the two of you were walking by. Recognizing the habit of Majolish to put their models on display for everyone to see was pretty easy, but that wasn't what caught your eye in the moment.
What tuned Mammon down completely in your ears, were the models themselves. The second born, sitting on a stool with a ripped shirt and pants, a few accessories hanging off his neck and barely covering anything of his exposed chest. He looked serious, staring straight at the objective- and at you, while the light shined on him to completely capture his frame for the picture.
And sitting down in the middle of the shot, between his legs, was a female demon wearing a red leather dress, her head resting on top of Mammon's leg. The clawed hand dangling off his knee- covered in golden rings, seemed to taunt you, as well as the piercing yellow eyes she had. Saying she wasn't beautiful would be lying. In fact, she was absolutely stunning. A perfect model for a perfect shot. Just looking at her made you feel small, like a prey that was about to be devoured by a hungry beast, the longer you were looking at her.
But that's what demons were supposed to make you feel like, right?
"Hey!" Mammon called out from the distance he had put between the two of you since you had stopped walking beside him. "Yo, MC!"
Watching as you kept staring into nothing, Mammon rolled his shoulders with a furrowed brow before walking back toward you, his head tilting to the side as he noticed your dead expression.
"Huuh hello, Devildom to MC? In which realm did ya get lost this time?"
"They replaced it." The words that left your mouth were weak, almost too silent for him to hear. It's as if all of the energy you had had evaporated from your body in an instant.
"Huh?" Mammon grew a bit concerned at this sudden change. His eyes perked up at the ad you were looking at, as you continued.
"The shoot we did together." Finally, you spared yourself from the sight, your gaze dropping to the ground. "They already replaced it with another one."
As soon as Mammon understood why *this* ad in particular seemed to be upsetting you so much, his jaw was already clenching. He remembered the stars he had seen in your eyes the previous week when you saw yourself on the Majolish ad, posing beside him- a shoot opportunity you had gotten while accompanying him after RAD a few days prior. In the middle of his shoot, he practically didn't leave any choice to his agent and had insisted that you be included in the shots to promote one of the new pieces of jewelry the brand was planning to release in the upcoming months. Asmo, who was there to witness your reaction on that day the three of you went out, had even taken a hundred pictures or so of you posing in front of the ad.
Except that, the jewelry you had posed with, was now present on the new model posing alongside Mammon.
He had made sure to engrave that smile of yours in his head at the time, even going so far as to snap a picture of your face while you were too focused on Asmo to notice him. But now, there was absolutely no trace of that same happiness anymore.
"The fuck?" The snarl that left him shook the walls of his throat. "That wasn't supposed to be advertised before another month! Why'd they have to take ours so soon?!"
"It's okay, Mammon." The demon stopped growling as his eyes lowered on the hand that was clutching his arm. "I mean... I'm not a model. Figures they wouldn't put it up for long... I-I mean, look at me. Seriously, who would want to see my face being exposed for longer than they can bare? It's hard to imagine. I wouldn't probably have sold their product anyway, so... it's okay."
The look on your face was devastating. Despite trying your best to smile, the tears pricking in your eyes were threatening to roll down your cheeks at any second. Mammon felt his heart being stabbed with a thousand invisible daggers, he couldn't bear to watch you feeling insulted in such a way.
His bags were immediately dropped onto the floor, the demon no longer caring for any of the fragile items he may have bought. His hands swung forward to cup your cheeks, forcing your face up to look at him straight in the eyes.
"Hey hey, MC. C'mon, look at me."
You did your best not to let your vision turn blurry because of the upcoming tears, and stared back at Mammon, your bottom lip trembling weakly.
"I don't care what anyone, model agents or not, can say- you'd sell a thousand more times than any fuckin' models out there, okay? In fact, you're worth even more than their stupid jewelry!"
His thumb quickly brushed away a tear from the corner of your eye as his other hand came to rest on your temple.
"They just put that one up there because that model is famous. They don't care about what's really beautiful, they just want to boast their popularity to the rest of the world." The blue of his eyes seemed to radiate the closer he moved towards you. "But I know what's beautiful. And her? She doesn't compare to you. No one does."
You could only look down in shame as his hands never left you, closing your eyes shut to let a couple tears out before Mammon grabbed a tissue from his pocket to dry your face. He patiently waited a few seconds for you to calm down, soothing you with slow caresses of your hair until your shoulders stopped shaking.
"I'm sorry..." you muttered, sniffling as you passed a wrist over your eyes. "I don't know why that upset me so much..."
"Ya got nothing to be sorry about." Mammon retrieved his hands from your head, only to grab the bags that were hanging off of your arms. He somehow manages to hold them alongside his own behind him, before wrapping the other arm around your shoulder.
"Hey, I'd call this a day. How about I prepare ya a bath when we're home? Courtesy of the Great Mammon."
You nodded, your lips arching into a smile as you grabbed the hand hanging off your shoulder. The day was cut too short for your liking, but you didn't feel up for any additional purchases, or to properly enjoy your outing anymore.
"Will you wash my hair?" You entertwined your fingers with his as he gave them a gentle squeeze.
"Pah, of course! Who else but me could do that?" He huffed through his nose, shaking his head at such an obvious question. Your laugh ringing in his ears gave him a brief moment of respite.
But the demon furrowed his brows as he lead you into your walk back home, keeping you snuggled at his side. Holding the bags in his left hand, his white nails sharply digged into his palm the more steps he took alongside you.
Making them cry? Such a big, big mistake. One thing was sure, Mammon wasn't about to let that one pass.
"But before that..." The hiss that escaped his throat went unnoticed by the two of you as your head rested against his shoulder.
"I'll have a few calls to make."
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banananutsmuthie · 2 years
Text
Chicken
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Idol(s): Nana [woo!ah!]
Word Count: 560+ words
A/N: So I know I just released something yesterday, but I saw this video of Nana and had an idea for a short story and decided to release it now. Enjoy!
Nayeon. Her name was Nayeon, or at least that’s what she said her name was when she introduced herself. She said she had dreams of being an idol someday, going so far as to even picking out her stage name: Nana. There was already a famous Nayeon, she reasoned. She must’ve been a little too young to realize Nana was the name of another famous idol too, but you let the girl dream. Having just met her, you owed her at least that much.
It was near closing time and only the two of you remained. You were still waiting for your food. The place reeked of chicken, and not in a good way. It was like someone had fried some chicken wings a little too long then left it out on the counter for hours.
The A/C wasn’t working as expected, evident by the toll her shirt was taking. Nayeon had loosened the top buttons on her white blouse. It exposed her cute little cleavage that was showered in beads of sweat, the same sweat that caused her shirt to stick to her body, exposing her black bra with pink polka dots underneath. A bold choice, considering her white shirt was so thin. With that much confidence, she must’ve been a freak in bed. It was a gift she didn’t realize she was giving you and you were too nice to turn it down.
But you didn’t come empty-handed, either. You checked to make sure no one else was around before unzipping your pants in front of her, pulling out your semi-hard cock, a gift for Nayeon. Nayeon was staring at you with crossed arms and a look of fatigue until she noticed you stroking yourself. She looked down at it, then back up at you. Down again. Then up. Down and up. She just couldn’t resist what she was seeing as your cock started to grow. Her lips curled into a smile until her teeth shined and her tongue stuck out of her mouth. It culminated in a wink of approval. Nayeon couldn’t help staring down at it, but then she finally realized where she was and gathered herself enough to tell you again, too.
"Sir, I told you already: this is a KFC."
"And like I told you already, I'll have the 4-piece combo, 2 juicy breasts and 2 thick thighs,” you replied, pointing at her cleavage then at her legs, just in case the invitation flew over her head. “I forgot my wallet, do you take cock?"
Nayeon’s cautious eyes looked past you toward the dining area, then behind her toward the kitchen to make sure there was no one else around. When she was certain it was just you and her, she lunged across the counter, kneeling down in front of your cock. Her chapped pink lips parted close to your tip.
“Normally, we don’t. But since you’re cute and I fucking hate this job...”
She pushed your hand away, her own hand replacing it on your shaft and continuing the stroking motions. When it was hard enough, she replaced her hand with her mouth, plunging as far as she could until it was fully down her throat.
Nayeon—er, Nana—was gonna be a big star some day. She had the face and body for it. But for now, she was still a KFC: a Korean Fed Cock.
A/N: #SorryNotSorry lol. Dedicated to the homies in the writers discord who was talking about chicken when I logged in after coming back from holiday. Also, PSA: don't whip out your dick in a KFC, especially unsolicited.
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midgardianweasley · 3 years
Note
I‘d love to see you write an angsty fanfic with Natasha x reader (male or female is up to you) with a bad ending of your choice.
No pressure of course ✨
as requested Violet!! I hope it's okay<3
How could you do this to me?
Natasha Romanoff x fem!reader
Summary: Natasha hasn’t been around recently and Y/N’s been really missing her company, but that changes when some CCTV footage is discovered.
Warnings: Cheating, swearing.
Word Count: 3.6k
there was an attempted proof read, but sorry in advance if i've missed anything!!
message/ask to be added to the taglist<3
Requests are open!
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You weren’t surprised when you woke up to an empty bed once again, the space beside you missing a red-head assassin. You’d grown used to the sight of bedsheets spread lazily on your side of the bed, almost completely thrown off of the edge. It wasn’t unusual, however, the feeling of disappointment that lingered in your chest every morning never eased with time.
‘I’m just off to train, baby.’
‘I need to go and see Fury about this next mission, you go back to sleep’
‘I forgot to debrief the team last night, so we need to have a meeting this morning instead.’
‘Off to get some breakfast, my love. I’ll save you some eggs.’
Those were the typical reasons you received whenever you questioned where she was going in such a hurry in the mornings. You knew she was busy, of course you did. But, you missed the mornings when she’d pull you back into her chest, refusing to let you leave until you gave her a few kisses, which never ended up just being kisses, but you always gave in either way.
Now that you think of it, you can’t remember the last time she held you. Not properly. She used to hold you in a death grip, so tight that you could almost feel her heartbeat in your own chest. Nowadays, you were lucky to get more than a few taps on the back, it felt like you were being congratulated for something.
You’d always brushed it off, thinking that you must’ve been selfish for wanting so much of her attention, you had to be more understanding of how demanding her job is. It wasn’t like you never tried, you did, everyday. It would just be nice to feel her love for you a little more, even if it was just a quick peck before she left in the mornings.
“Hey Wan’, Hey Vis” You smiled at the pair as they stood at the kitchen counter, cracking eggs and buttering some toast. They loved cooking together, Wanda always told you how cute it was when Vision was trying to learn, especially after his fiasco with the Paprika.
“Hi Y/N, want something to eat?” Wanda handed you some toast, which you took gratefully, slowly munching on it.
Vision looked up as though to engage in conversation, when he then looked around in confusion. “Where’s Ms. Romanoff?”. You shrugged.
“I’m not sure, I think she’s training, I’ve not heard from her yet.”
You were looking at Vision, but it was near impossible to miss the sympathetic look Wanda was giving you. She knew about how you’d been feeling with Natasha not being around so much, she had tried to help, to hint to Nat that you’d been feeling a bit neglected for a while now, but she hadn’t gotten very far.
“Nat, nat, I just think that maybe you should spend a little more time with Y/N” It was obvious the assassin wasn’t listening to her, shrugging it off and trying to walk past the witch, only to have a hand pressed on her chest to push her backwards.
“Wanda, I need to go, I'm running late.”
“you’re always running somewhere. I'm sure Fury, or Tony or whoever you’re in such a rush to see, can wait. You haven’t seen your girlfriend in forever.”
“I saw her last night.”
“Crawling into bed in the early hours of the morning and sleeping next to her, isn’t seeing her, Nat.”
Her words fell on deaf ears as she watched her friend turn around and walk the other way. She could’ve used her powers to stop her, she didn’t see a point though. She wasn’t listening, and she couldn’t force her to.
“It's fine though, honestly! I can hang out with you guys today if you’re not busy?”
the couple shared a look of awkwardness before looking back towards you.
“Actually, we were going to go into town and do some sightseeing. You’re welcome to join us though!” She smiled, not wanting you to be alone, which you were grateful for, but you couldn’t intrude.
“No no, don’t worry! I think I've got something Tony wanted me to check out in the Lab, now that I think about it.” You didn’t. “You guys have fun though! take pictures!” You winked, knowing full well that your best friend didn’t believe you, she hesitated before nodding her head in agreement and beginning to walk off with Vision in tow.
__________________
An hour or so went by, you still hadn’t seen Natasha at all, or anyone, really. They all seemed to have disappeared to do their own thing, leaving you to find yours. So, you found yourself wandering into your lab, where you found Tony observing the screens with an endless amount of data changing every couple of seconds. You never really understood how he made sense of it all so quickly, but you’d always been intrigued nonetheless.
He must’ve sensed someone was there, as he broke away from his train of thought and glanced over towards you, fully acknowledging how your shoulders were slumped and your eyes lacked your usual sparkle. Tony alway had a soft spot for you, he’d known you for years, taking on a role similar to a father’s. Seeing you look so defeated recently, it’d hurt him a little more than he cared to admit.
Gesturing for you to come in with a gentle smile before moving and adjusting various chunks of metal on the table in the centre of the lab.
“Ah ah!” He tapped the bridge of his nose
“You can’t be serious! Tony I-”
“Nope”
“I’m a grown woman!” You laughed in disbelief at his
“Yes, you are, and I do not plan on taking said grown woman to medical because she got a shot of electricity through her eyeball. Put them on.”
You rolled your eyes, picking up a pair of the obnoxiously large lab goggles and put them over your face. He really took being a ‘father figure’ too seriously sometimes. With your goggles on, you took yourself over to where he stood, hoping to help him out somehow and keep yourself occupied.
You watched him move around blueprints on the screen above. “So, whatcha working on?”
“Well, remember that last mission we went on? How that ended?”
“Well, considering I had to get bullets removed for the last two hours, I’d say I remember pretty well.”
His face cringed slightly “Yeah, that’s the one. I’m basically just trying to layer the suits more, but keep the weight to a minimum so that there’s more protection, but the speed and mobility is almost, if not, the same.” He pondered, mind wandering off again to try and figure out how he could make this work.
Suddenly springing to action, he started assembling some pieces together, chucking some aside and reaching for different tools he required.
Looking towards you, he tilted his head “Can you pass me the-”
His sentence was interrupted. “Hey Tony, hey-” Banner. You didn’t mind Bruce, he was always quite quiet and polite most of the time, a little awkward, but, when you have a literal Hulk inside of you, it’s probably the least of your concerns.
You waved at the Avenger. “Hi Bruce” You gave him a friendly smile, for it to be returned with an awkward gaze, which he tried to quickly shove off.
“Yeah, uh, hi, Y/N. W-what brings you here?”
“Oh, no particular reason, I wanted something to do so I thought I'd come down, just pay a visit.” He nodded, acknowledging your words but appearing a little on edge, almost.
“Hey, you okay?” You asked “You look a little pale?”
“Yeah, yeah n-no I'm fine, just a-a bit tired.” He stuttered before suddenly directing his attention towards the man standing beside you. “How’s it coming along, Ton’?”
“Not bad, I have a wonderful assistant to help me out.” he nudged you playfully.
“Haha, yeah. She’s great. Anyways, you seem to have a good hold on things, so, I’ll leave you to it and come back later.”
Neither of you had managed to get a word out before Banner had walked out and was already out of sight. You turned to face Tony again.
“Was that- did you find that weird at all?”
“I find most of the people in this compound weird.”
It was a serious question, but you couldn’t help but let out a laugh at the millionaire’s response.
“I do pride myself on it.”
“As you should. You’re the weirdest one.”
“Hey!” You slapped his arm. “Rude!”
“I’m kidding! Now, pass me that screwdriver, goggles.”
Chuckling, you threw him the screwdriver and zoned out thinking about Bruce’s weird behaviour. While Tony was right, the majority of us are weird. You couldn’t stop thinking about how unusual it was, even for him. You put it to the back of your mind though, focusing back on what the man beside you was working on. You’re sure it’s fine.
________________________
You thought you were going crazy. First you had Nat, who was disappearing every chance she got, Then you had Bruce who couldn’t look you in the eye and when you finally believed it couldn’t get any weirder, you picked up on some strange vibes from Steve.
“Oh finally! I was beginning to think no one else actually lives here.” You approached Steve who seemed to be walking and talking with Bruce, both taking a step back when they looked towards you.
“Hey Y/N, we were just-”
“We were just about to go and have a shower. Training.” Steve cut in, earning himself a glare and a shake of the head from the scientist beside him, subtle, so you hadn’t noticed, otherwise you would’ve questioned it.
“Oh? You were training too, Bruce?”
“Well, I-” He glanced at Steve. “Yeah. Yeah, I, uh, wanted to get some combat down, just in case I needed it.”
“Considering our last mission, I think we all should.” the super soldier quickly added, sending you an enthusiastic smile, which you had returned. You went to speak again, possibly inquiring as to whether or not they knew where your girlfriend was, but you hadn't had the chance as the pair of them quickly rushed off, muttering something about catching you later, leaving you on your own, once again.
What the hell was going on?
_____________________
Feeling defeated, you trudged your way into your bedroom, just wanting to shower, get into bed and sleep, and hope for some form of normality.
What you hadn’t expected, was to walk in and see the back of a familiar figure sporting the black suit she practically lived in, tying her hair into a low bun and beginning to change into some more comfortable clothes.
You were dating, so it wasn’t new to see Nat changing, but you still thought it would be decent to make her aware of your presence. The small “ahem” was enough to make her spin round and flash you a smile, her pearly white teeth on show.
“Hi babe, i’m just changing for bed. You okay?”
The words felt so unfamiliar to you, having not heard them in what felt like forever. Still, you decided to humour it.
“Yeah, yeah I'm okay. A bit of a weird day is all.”
She laughed, returning to laying out her clothes. “Well, we are surrounded by some weird people.”
“That’s what Tony said.”
There was an atmosphere in the air that you couldn’t quite pinpoint. It had always felt comfortable with Natasha, you would describe her company as being like a safety blanket, enveloping you with warmth and a sense of security. This felt different. It didn’t feel familiar anymore, it was like you were face to face with a stranger and the more you looked at her, the more it upset you.
“Hey, hey, what’s wrong?” Natasha put her palms on your cheeks, bringing your Y/E/C eyes to meet her emerald ones in the process. You hadn’t realised that tears had fallen until the pad of her thumbs gently brushed them away.
“I just, it sounds so stupid.”
“Tell me.”
You let out a sigh, eyes beginning to dart around the room. “It just feels like I’ve never seen you, I don’t remember the last time we’ve spoken and it’s, it’s been lonely.” Her eyebrows furrowed in confusion at your response, lips falling into a frown, but you were quick to speak again.
“It hasn’t just been you though, I understand that work gets in the way, but, it felt like some members of the team were acting differently around me.”
“Really? Like who?”
“Well, I mean, Bruce could barely bring himself to say anything more than a sentence to me and I tried to speak to Steve just before I came here and he rushed off like his life depended on it. I don’t know, maybe I’m just being a bit paranoid.”
“I’m sure it’s nothing, Detka, I wouldn’t worry about it.” She whispered, hands pulling you forward with ease to bring your lips together. You smiled at the contact, you’d missed it.
You were so caught up in it, that you hadn’t noticed you were the only one smiling.
It wasn’t long before the both of you were interrupted by an electronic voice in the room.
“Miss Romanoff, Miss Y/L/N.” It was F.R.I.D.A.Y. “Mr Stark is asking for you both in the conference room.”
“Alright, thanks F.R.I.D.A.Y., we’re on our way.” Your girlfriend replied, rushing away from the kiss and leading you to the door.
Why was everyone in such a rush today?
_______________________
“So, I was messing around with some things in the lab, and I think I've found a solution to our suit issue. It’s still a work in progress because I'll need to tweak some things and then tailor them blah blah blah, but I thought I'd show you guys the latest. JARVIS?”
“Bringing up footage 182.”
While you waited for the video to be up and running, you took note of everyone sitting around you. For the most part, they looked tired, though you don’t blame them, it was pretty late.
Shuffling to your left, you held Natasha’s hand in yours, sending her a loving gaze before resting your head on her shoulder, just content that she was close by. She sat a little straighter at the action, careful not to push you off of her, but not entirely relaxing either.
The large tv screen lit up, a view from the corner of the lab came into sight where you could see Tony installing different wires and pieces of loose metal into the suit, watching it light up as he did so. He was in the middle of explaining what he was doing as the recording went on, when the screen suddenly turned to static, black and white lines taking over the screen.
“JARVIS?”
“Minor technical issue, working on it, Mr Stark.”
You caught Wanda’s eye across the table, a playful smirk plastered onto her face at the mishap, watching the billionaire get stressed over a television. You couldn’t help but laugh at the words flying from his mouth as he started hitting the remote, as if he was someone who didn’t understand technology.
It wasn’t long before an image appeared back on the screen, however, this wasn’t the same recording. This is from the gym. It focused on one of the square mats in the middle of the room where two people were sparring. One of which, you immediately recognised as Natasha.
The other person definitely wasn’t a girl, their hair was short and muscles so big you were worried that one slice would be the end. It zoomed in a little, and from the blonde hair and dark blue outfit, you pieced together who it was.
“Oooh, Black Widow and the SuperSoldier, one vs one. Now this should be interesting.” A previously tired looking Sam clapped his hands and leaned forward, now fully invested in the scene in front of him.
You turned to Nat, who now looked a little paler than she did before.
“You look like you’ve just seen a ghost, don’t tell me, you lost this spar?” You joked, expecting her to join in and tease you back. Instead, her face displayed an emotion you weren’t entirely sure of.
Before you could question it, you noticed the room fall silent. Not even a breath could be heard in the room. Your head turned slowly, meeting a mixture of shocked and sympathetic faces. And that was when you saw it.
Nat had kissed Steve, and he didn’t stop her.
If you weren't aware of your heartbeat before, you couldn’t be now, for it felt like it had completely stopped. Your jaw fell as your eyes filled with tears, only worsening the longer you saw the two of them on the screen. It was only turned off when a third person walked into view, not needing to ponder on who it could be, you immediately faced guilty stares. Three of them.
“You- you kissed-” You stuttered, incapable of forming a sentence towards your teammate. “And, you knew?” Your voice broke, tears now beginning to find their way down your cheeks for the second time as Bruce couldn’t bring himself to answer you.
You swiftly rose out of your seat, attempting to keep yourself composed until you could be alone.
“Baby-” Natasha murmured, trying to take hold of your hand, which you snatched back before she could lay a finger on it.
“Don’t.”
“Please-”
“Leave me alone.” You spat, speed walking out of what now felt like an overcrowded room.
You didn’t hear it, you’d left too early, but if you had stayed, you would’ve heard the team give Nat and Steve the scolding of their lives, mainly from Wanda and Tony, telling them how disappointed they were in them both. How they’d be lucky if you were to forgive them for what they did.
________________________
You don’t know how long you’d been sitting on your shared bed for. It could’ve been an hour, it could’ve been a couple of minutes. All you knew, was that you couldn’t stay in this room much longer, looking at the picture frames and the shared wardrobe, it just felt painful.
So, you walked over to your wardrobe and gathered every item of your clothing into your arms, lacking any care for if there were hangers or labels in the way, and chucked them on the bed and started to chuck it all into a suitcase intended for holidays but, you don’t see that happening anytime soon.
The sound of sniffles and rustling was all you could hear in the room, so much so that it was suffocating, and it didn’t help when you heard the door creak open.
“What are you doing?” A voice squeaked. Natasha stood beside the door, fidgeting with her fingers as she anxiously bounced from one foot to the other. You didn’t even bother to look up in her direction, focusing solely on getting out of there as soon as you could.
“Baby, I’m so sorry. I don’t know what happened, I didn’t mean it.” You scoffed at her attempt at an explanation. “I love you.”
That’s what made you whip your head to see her red and puffy eyes, if this was any other situation, you would’ve rushed over and engulfed her in a hug, tell her that everything would be okay and you’re there for her. Now? All you felt was anger.
“If you loved me, you wouldn’t have kissed him.”
“I didn’t know-”
You stood up straight, almost laughing at her choice of words. “You didn’t know? Bullshit. I’m pretty fucking sure everyone is aware when they kiss someone. Did you know when you were kissing me then? Or did you not know that either?”
“I wasn’t thinking.”
“I don’t think I care.”
She tries to step closer to you, only for you to take one back, holding your hand out, indicating for her to stop.
“No. no, you know what Nat, you don’t get to do this. You don’t get to treat me like a stranger for weeks, like I'm sharing a bed with someone I don’t know, for you to then kiss someone else and expect me to forgive you. You have no idea how I've felt these past weeks, blaming myself and thinking I was selfish for wanting your time. It’s funny, really.”
She looked away from you, regret taking over her features, both of you now having tear stains covering your rosy red cheeks.
You broke the silence once again. “Was that the first time?”
“What?”
“You heard me.”
“Y/N-” She pleaded
“Answer the question, Natasha.” You spoke through gritted teeth.
Silence returned to the four walls.
“Get out.”
“No, no, we-” She stepped forward, only to halt herself when she realised what she was doing.
“There is no ‘we’. We’re done. I’ll have my stuff moved back into my room by tonight, though I'm sure it won’t make much of a difference to you.”
“I’m really sorry.”
“Whatever.”
She walked out of the room, hesitating slightly, wondering if it’s worth staying and trying to figure out whatever this is. She shook her head to herself, knowing she’d fucked up. There wasn’t a fight anymore. It was done.
Collapsing on the bed, the feeling washed over you again as the finality of it all set in. You didn’t stop though. You packed your clothes, your perfumes, all of your loose hair ties and left the room with only one thought on your mind.
Natasha won’t even notice the difference.
Taglist: @natashas-favourite-knives @wandaromanova
661 notes · View notes
no-droids · 4 years
Text
Rumors, Freebies, and a Race for Last Place
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Part Two of The Bet series
Pairing: Poe Dameron/Reader
Rating: Explicit
Word Count: 22.5K DONT say shit alright just don’t
Warnings: Okay. There is degradation in this, some name calling and heated interactions. There is a LOT of smut, dirty talk and rough sex. If these things offend you, please do not continue reading.
***
It’s recommended to read part one first.
***
Getting into the x-wings is always fun.
It actually might be your favorite part.  Granted, alarm bells ringing and thousands of jumpsuits scrambling in all directions is never typically a good thing, but there’s also an inherent rush about it, a thrill in launching up the metal paneling as quick as you can and suiting up to provide aid.  It’s a side-effect of camaraderie, of being surrounded by like-minded individuals willing to do everything they can to help.  You never feel like you’re going to your death, even though that’s often the grim reality for at least one of you on a good day.  There’s always a roaring in your ears while you do it, adrenaline sharpening your senses and preparing yourself for conflict, not thinking anything beyond gogogogogo—
But getting out of the x-wing is… not great.  At least for you.  It’s sluggish.  Your body is always completely drained and you never come out of it feeling the same way you went in.  Even in times of victory, there’s a somberness inside you after battle.  As much as you tell yourself you’re fighting for good, for prosperity against an evil machine hellbent on enslaving the galaxy, there’s only so many explosions lighting up in front of your eyes and screams cutting out through your comms you can take before winning just doesn’t really feel like winning anymore.  Most pilots are able to handle it better than you are, but since you joined the Resistance, you’ve never truly felt the desire to celebrate.  Not even when you serve a massive, glaring defeat to the other side.  There’ll always be at least one missing x-wing, one empty seat at the table, one person not here to celebrate with you.
You came back in one piece this time.  Barely.
The whole mission went sideways—literally.  You’d purposefully stationed the tandem just outside the coordinates you were meant to be surveilling so that you’d be hidden from sight and dead to the scanners should the fleet arrive, but something must’ve happened.  You must’ve powered down a few seconds too early after he turned the thrusters off, because apparently the ship drifted in dead space for close to eight hours without either of you noticing, having no working computers to actively read your location and correct it.  You were sitting ducks right in the hyperspace drop zone by the time the First Order showed up, and by that point you had no choice but to engage.
“Gold-Ten,” a voice murmurs from behind you, and you blink, suddenly seeing the base landing platform stretching out long in front of you, hundreds of docking ships and boisterous pilots scrambling out of them to hug their comrades and congratulate them even as medics rush past with white coats and gurneys.  They’re never for the pilots, but they dispatch healers anyways whenever a convoy returns in case a straggler gets picked up.  There’s an unspoken understanding in space battle—pilots never get injured.  They either come back unharmed, or they don’t come back at all.
Dameron.
You turn around and watch him slowly approach you with an unreadable expression, his jumpsuit still bunched halfway down his torso.  The once bright white sleeveless undershirt is now greasy and damp with sweat,  his dark curls sticking to his forehead.  He winces with every bow-legged step—you know the feeling—before he’s standing directly in front of you and something is carefully being pulled out of your hands.  You didn’t even realize you were holding onto anything.
Your helmet.  You forgot to leave it in the x-wing, and you’ve been carrying it around under your arm aimlessly while mentally checking off the squadrons as they return, counting the numbers you lost today while everybody else hugs and whoops and claps each other on the back.
It’s not as bad as you were expecting it was going to be, not as bad as it seemed just an hour earlier when you were listening to Dameron bellow out evasive flight maneuvers a millisecond before he enacted them and you adjusted your firing at the TIEs accordingly.  You used to think you were quick with how rapidly you could suit up and fly out, drop in to assist and engage, but on the other side, it felt like your reinforcements lollygagged for ages before arriving.  You were left to defend against an entire fleet in one stupid ship, more lines of TIEs sinking like flies from launch decks every second.
“Gold-Ten,” you hear again, and you blink a few times, needing to focus your vision before you can find his gaze.
Dameron’s palm, previously hovering a few inches above your shoulder, suddenly drops to spread along the curve of it and you take a deep breath, almost wanting to shudder at the feeling of something touching you.  You channel all your focus into it, feel his fingers branch out strong along the tight muscles in your neck, giving you an anchor you automatically lean into.
You and him are no strangers to touching.  Before today it was mostly reserved to poking and prodding and flicking and light slapping in an effort to piss each other off, but now… you can’t even think about it right now, your body will just fucking glitch out on you.  After everything that just happened, you cannot think about where else that hand has been recently, not right now.
“You did… you did really fucking good today,” he tells you quietly, slowly trailing his hand down the length of your entire arm until he catches your wrist and a few of your fingers in his loose grip.  “Seriously.  That was… we were…”
His touch is so present, so reassuring.  Grounding, when all your mind wants is to just float away.  You glance down at where his fingers are gently tangled with yours and you feel your hand tighten just slightly, the smallest squeeze while he blinks down at you.
“We almost died, like… every single second,” you barely manage to croak, not really having the words to express it right now.  You always need at least an hour or two after missions like this to just sit in one place and regroup.  Usually you find yourself wandering back to your room to lay on the bed and stare up at the ceiling while you consider your own mortality, but Dameron interrupted you this time before you could process it by yourself.  “We…”  Your voice sounds absolutely shredded.  “W-We shouldn’t even be alive right now.”
“I know,” he nods in soft agreement, taking a small step closer to you.  “But we are alive.  Hey.”  He dips his head as soon as your gaze starts to drift, catching your eyes once more and drawing your attention back to the present with a squeeze of your hand.  “We’re alive, right?  Be alive with me.”
You take a big breath in and close your eyes, feeling the oxygen fill your lungs once more, but this time, it’s… restorative.  A wonderful, beautiful reminder of your existence.  You’re alive.  Usually the word just feels like a synonym for persevering.  Pushing onwards despite trials and tribulations, not looking back.  But the way he says it, especially with his hand in yours and a quiet invitation to tag along, it sounds… breathtaking.  Full of light, and hope.  It suddenly leaves the dim shadows and slides into a completely different category of feelings, feelings you’d never imagine being able to conjure so quickly after such a close brush with death.  Alive—it slots right in next to words like colorful, radiant, sunshine, and butterflies.  Enchanting words, ones you’d like to hear again and again.
Your eyes slowly open and there he is, the man you were sure was going to accompany you to the afterlife.  You were stuck with Poe Dameron in one of the closest calls you can remember, and strangely, his presence was nothing if not… a comfort.  For the first time in your life, you were grateful he was there.
You open your mouth, suddenly feeling the needy, unfounded urge to tell him that.  “I’m gla—”
“Dameron!”  You hear a series of voices call from somewhere to your left, and he immediately drops your hand to whip his body around and place himself directly between you and the approaching onlookers, using his large frame to hide you from their sight.
“What’s up, Briggs?”  Dameron projects to one pilot in particular that seems to be leading the group, his back oddly close to you in this position.  Your fingers still feel tingly from where he was holding onto them.
A chorus of congratulatory, “Nice flying, Captain!” and the like can be heard floating through the air from beyond his shoulders, before the leader speaks loudly over them.  “Hey—me, Seven, Six, and Twelve were gonna grab some drinks in the mess hall with a few of the Blue girls,” he tells Dameron, slowing to a stop as soon as he sees you standing awkwardly behind him.  “Oh hey, Goldie.”
You lift a hand and clear the remainder of the dissociation from your throat, not knowing him well enough beyond the squadron he and his group fly with.  “Greenies.”
“Anyways, I guess they wanted to know if you’d come too.  These idiots are convinced they’re never gonna give us the time of day unless you—”
“Uh—fine, whatever, just give me a few minutes alright?”  Dameron quickly assures him with a dismissive wave of his hand.  “I’ll meet up with you guys later.”
A few of them take turns giving him heavy claps on the shoulder and acclamatory words before the group eventually disperses, and he waits a few more seconds for their attention to fully scatter in another direction before turning back to you.
Shit, he’s standing really close.  Why is he so close to you?  You take a step back and blink up at him, the noises of the landing deck gradually amplifying back up to normal volume as you retreat back into your own space.  Since when did he have that effect on you?  You suddenly feel wide awake, and the chorus of happy chaos surrounding you is something you’re finally able to take in.  You knew it was happening before, but it was like it just existed outside of the creeping numbness.  Now, the knot of internal turmoil has untied itself a bit and you feel your surroundings start to fight for your direct attention.
Dameron continues to look at you the same exact way, though.  Like you’re still the only one here.
You look down at his half-suited figure and blink at the helmet loosely held in one of his hands.  Hey.  Hey, that’s yours—
“Give me that,” you hiss, suddenly snatching it from his fingertips.  “You have people waiting.”
The cutting words serve to snap him out of whatever spell he’s under.  Dameron quickly lifts his head and looks around a few times with sharp eyes, before hooking your elbow and twisting you into a complete 180 until your back faces most of the excitement.  You resist, immediately trying to push him off you and worried he’s going to confront you about… things, but he’s determined.
He doesn’t say anything to you at all, though.  His fingers quickly grasp the baggy fabric of your jumpsuit even as you sputter and start to ask what the fuck he thinks he’s doing, and you glance down just in time to see him yanking the gaping velcro closed at your crotch.
Your cheeks instantly start burning as he tugs and smooths the fabric down until it’s seamless once more, especially when his eyes flick up to yours without moving his head.  Fuck, you’re instantly hot with some wicked emotion, a mixture of embarrassment and outrage and… something else.  Maker, you almost wish you were numb and disoriented again, if only so you could avoid feeling whatever the fuck this is.
You quite suddenly shove your helmet back into his stomach with an infuriated sound even as he doubles over with a shocked whoosh of air, changing your mind about returning it to the ship yourself before storming off without another word.
*** 
Okay, so you’ve done some thinking, and.  Well.  Fuck him, that’s what you’ve decided.
No—not… fuck him.  But like, fuck him.  You know.  In the negative sense of the word.  The bad fuck.
There’s a full tray of food sitting in front of you but you’ve so far been unable to touch it.  Mostly you’re just wondering why the fuck you’re even here.  Well, you know why you’re here—you should eat, it’s dinnertime and this is the mess hall.  You’ve been known to skip out on meals after heavy missions, secluding yourself away and just wallowing for a bit, but you… strangely didn’t feel like doing that today.  You don’t want to self-isolate when you feel okay enough to avoid it, not again.  So you’re here, because the clock says your tummy should want food, but you can’t bring yourself to even look at it.
No, you’re looking at him.  Glaring, actually.
Across the mess hall and beyond the transparisteel divider that separates the cafeteria from the bar area, Dameron is all eyebrows and smiles and side nudges and winks right now.  You can’t hear him—the sound won’t travel this far, but you can see him situated in the middle of a rowdy group of pilots.  He laughs in that disgustingly charming way of his, where his stupidly cute nose scrunches up all cute and stupid and you want to just ask the Maker why he’s doing this shit to you.  What have you done to deserve this torture?  Sure, you may have willingly agreed to it, even… conceived and propositioned the idea, and sure, absolutely nothing is stopping you from forfeiting and walking away at this exact second, but does that make it okay?  No, you’ve decided.  It’s not okay.  He’s not allowed to… to make you feel like this, so fuck him.  In the bad way.
“Just fuck him already,” a voice suddenly grumbles as someone plops down into the seat to your right, plastic trays of food clattering loudly on the table and snapping you out of your reverie.  Gold-Sixteen blocks your view as he silently drops into the seat in front of you and wraps his green lekku around his neck a few times before immediately beginning to shovel food into his mouth, while Gold-Three opens her box of blue milk next to you and continues.  “The Blues never fucking shut up about it, it’s getting annoying.”
“Don’t listen to her, Dime,” Gold-Eleven tells you, quickly occupying the seat on your left and biting into a crunchy piece of fruit, talking loudly over the chatter even as he chomps.  “Rossi just knows her pool is up tomorrow, she doesn’t want to lose any of her precious credits.”
“Don’t listen to him,” Gold-Three immediately snaps, leaning forward and around you to point the prongs of her fork at Eleven threateningly.  “Zhang’s pool starts on Sunday.”
“Oh fuck off, you guys are betting on this now?”  You groan, shoving your plate away with a flick of your fingers now that you’re certain you’ve completely lost your appetite.  Sixteen immediately snatches up one of your bread rolls while Zhang swipes your juice and Rossi goes for a packet of glockaw sauce.
“You’re the one who announced it in front of everybody, we’re just being active spectators,” Rossi returns, ripping the packet and pouring the sauce on her vegetables with a shrug.  “How the fuck do you bet against fucking each other though, that’s my question?  It’s a paradox, wouldn’t you both just lose at the same time?”
“Dameron and I aren’t going to fuck,” you tell her very slowly and clearly, starting to get a headache.  Why is it impossible to avoid this conversation topic, even with an entire Resistance base to roam around in?  “Ever.  The bet never had anything to do with fucking each other, it’s about not fucking other people.”
“Literally what is the difference?”  You hear Rossi ask with her mouth full, but Zhang speaks over her.
“Somebody should probably tell Nine that, she’s the bookie,” he tosses out carelessly, dropping the core of his piece of fruit to his tray before wiping his hands on his jumpsuit.  You bury your face in your hands and let out a loud, exhausted sound into your palms, not knowing which response serves to aggravate your already emotionally overloaded ass even more.  Nine is the bookie, of fucking course she is.  “But hey, if it makes you feel any better, I don’t think any of it actually goes outside of Gold, so.”
“I’ve heard the Blues talking about it, but that’s it,” Rossi chimes in while chewing some of her veggies.  “Maybe some Reds.  Point is everybody else thinks it’s already happening, honestly.”
“What the fuck,” you whisper, using your knuckles to rub at the backs of your eyes until bright spots appear.  Where are stress headaches localized?  Are those the ones right under your brow bone?  Because stars, you feel it.  “Fucking… why?  Why do people think that me and Dameron are…?”
Nobody at the table immediately responds, and you drop your hands after a moment to look at each of their astounded faces in turn.
“You fucking serious, bitch?”  Rossi blurts first, her voice completely deadpan, and you growl in vexation.
“Have I not been vocal enough about my severe dislik—”
“And yet you kicked Nine out of your room to let him bunk with you,” Zhang immediately suggests.
“You request mission assignments together,” Rossi adds.
“Spend your off-days together,” Zhang continues.
“You’re both really weird about how long it takes the other person to shower,” Rossi tacks onto the list Zhang is now making on his fingers and you shake your head frantically.
“No—no, that’s so that we know neither one of us is cheating,” you try to explain, and you already know it sounds unconvincing without needing the two quick, lofty and sarcastic nods on either side of you.  “Showers and off-days are prime masturb—no, you know what?  No.  I’m tired of the assumptions, I don’t owe anyone shit.  This is super fucking uncool of you guys, you know that?  It’s insane that this is what counts as gossip in the Resistance nowada—”
“There’s only so much bad news people can take, Ten,” Gold-Sixteen grunts down at his almost finished plate, and all three of you snap your gazes across the table at him.  The forest-tinted twi’lek doesn’t speak much, it’s uncommon to hear his voice without distortion over the comms, but you blink as his sharp teeth continue to form words without looking at you.  “Quit being so sensitive.  Rather bet on this shit than which system is getting demolished next.”
And with that, Sixteen excuses himself with a silent nod, having gobbled down his full plate while you, Three, and Eleven were bickering.  You feel your cheeks flare with anger and shame—you didn’t deserve that, you immediately reassure yourself, but the hidden self-doubt the comment sows just further contributes to your upset.  You want to call out to his back that just because the First Order exists doesn’t mean you have to put up with your own fucking squadron turning you and your mortal enemy into glorified race fathiers, but he’s already leaving the mess hall while Rossi and Zhang have moved on to other topics, both of them continuing to grab more food from your tray as they talk.
You have a tough shell.  But today was… a lot.  You bite your lip down at the table against the sudden wave of emotion, blinking quickly to clear the weakness watering your vision.
See, this—this right here is why you use last names.  These people aren’t your friends.  Betting on who you fuck for laughs, using you as a source of entertainment without your consent just because they’re in the middle of a war, and then guilting you into feeling like you’re the one acting like a stuck up bitch about it?  You’re fighting in the same fucking war—you’re on the front lines just like everybody else and nobody gets to lecture you on the devastation of battle.  You almost died today.  You fought tooth and fucking nail to stay alive and by all accounts, you shouldn’t even be sitting here right now, much less dealing with this childish shit.  This is your squadron.  These people are supposed to be the ones closest to you out of everyone, the ones you’ve been flying into chaos in formation with for years, and yet not a single damn person has even mentioned your performance to you today, all anyone can ever seem to talk about is—ugh.
Unfortunately, your unobstructed view also allows you to look at the source of your bad mood once more, immediately noticing the way more people have crowded around him now, and the headache continues to throb painfully behind your eyeballs.  You were in the same ship, does nobody realize that?  You were gunning, he was flying—you were offense, he was defense—that’s the only fucking difference, and yet, it’s like that side of the mess hall is just completely lit up with hearty laughter and music playing from someone’s holopad and congratulatory drinks being passed around, while yours is… well.
You continue to fume inwardly, struggling somewhere between bitter and hurt, and you can see your reflection through the transparisteel giving him a death glare, wondering how many of the people surrounding him have made bets with Nine.  How many of his little entourage have their money wagered on Dameron getting in your pants by a specific dat—
You stop short while staring at his handsome face, an infuriating, horrifying thought suddenly striking you.  No… no, he wouldn’t…
“Does he know?”  You immediately interrupt the chitchat between Three and Eleven to ask with a deadly edge in your voice, tipping your forehead at pretty boy.  Ooh, you can already feel it burning.  It would be so fucking typical.  Oooooh, Maker, if he’s heard even a fucking whisper about this outside wagering going on amongst the pilots, you will fucking smother his ass in his sleep tonight.  How could he not know?  With as many friends as he has?  If you’re just being made aware of it, then it’s a given that somebody has to have told him by now, which just means that it’s all the more possible—shit, even more likely—that he’s… participating, too.  You do your best to keep your voice even, but you can hear the quiet fury shaking in it.  “The bet about when me and him are gonna fuck, does he know about it?”
“Who—Dameron?”  Zhang turns his head.  “No, I don’t think s—”
“Yeah,” Rossi says at the exact same time, and your blood instantly turns ice cold as Zhang leans around you to blink at her stupidly.
“No.  Yeah?  What?”  He says, sounding genuinely confused.
“Yeah, remember?”  Rossi confirms with a shrug.  “Nine was mad as all shit, came at me in the rec room a few weeks ag—fucking Maker, Eleven, you were there.”
“Oh,” Zhang suddenly exhales, “yeah, that’s right.  Oh, yeah, Dime, he knows.”
You’re—fuck, you’re about to rampage.  You’re burning a fucking hole through Dameron while he converses animatedly with his numerous buddies, waving an open hand and shaking his head at someone with a smile and then gesturing broadly to this side of the transparisteel.  His pool is probably up soon, you figure.  That’s why he came onto you so strong earlier today.  He was going to get two weeks of your pay, plus whatever he must’ve offered up to Nine that says he’d get it to happen within a certain amount of time.  Perfect, your old roomie and the arch nemesis you stupidly agreed to trade her for, two asshole peas in an asshole pod.
“—she thought I was the one who told him—”  You know Rossi is still talking but you’re not actually hearing any of it.  Nobody has any fucking idea.  Nobody has any idea what he did to you today, how unbelievably close you were to… to actually…  “—was all just for fun, but then he had a few choice words for her and told his squad that if any of them had made a—”  You don’t know why you’re so surprised honestly, you should’ve expected…
Wait.
“Wait,” you suddenly blurt, and while she shuts up immediately, your mind starts whirling even faster.  Dameron had some… what?  “Wait.  Explain.  You’re saying he didn’t…”  You slowly shake your head, furrowing your eyebrows and trying to piece it together.  “He didn’t… place a bet with her, or anything?”
“What?  No,” Rossi shakes her head a lot more forcefully than you, getting frustrated.  “No, fucking—didn’t you hear anything I just said, Ten?  He got all high and mighty for some stupid reason, totally reamed her ass out for it.”
“But…”  You blink, stunned.  “But… why?  Why would he…?”
Rossi shrugs.  “Fuck if I know.  All she said was that he ordered Black not to throw in, made her lose a fuckton of money from it.  Had no idea Dameron would be so touchy about his sex life, honestly.”
He… he isn’t.  He isn’t touchy about his sex life—you feel like he never shuts up about it.
Rossi continues talking, but you’re not listening again.  You stare stupidly at yourself in the clear transparisteel as Dameron’s voice comes back to you, repeating something you specifically remember him saying earlier today.  Something you thought was just a careless jab at the time, aimed blindly at one of your comrades with nothing more than the intent to piss you off.
…I swapped housing assignments with your shitty roommate and slept in the bunk below yours for a month and a half… 
You blink beyond your own reflection to focus on him once more, still lost in his own little world, not paying a single lick of attention to you while you’re essentially having a fucking crisis over here.  You didn’t think the insult had any real substance to it at all.  You just naturally assumed that was the result of him wanting to lash out at anything or anyone remotely close to you, if only to get a reaction, so you never gave him one or paid it any mind.  
This is why he said that about Nine?  Because he knew she had organized this fucked up betting pool behind your back?
Stars, you need to get out of here, all these rumors are fucking with your head.  Your assumptions and the hairpin turnarounds are giving you worse whiplash than Dameron’s… well, admittedly spectacular flying today.  You were wrong about wanting to avoid isolating—in fact, that suddenly sounds like a phenomenal idea.
So, you just get up and leave right in the middle of Rossi’s sentence, needing some time alone.  Neither of them call out to you as you quickly walk around the table and through the barrier towards the exit, thank the Maker, and you’re just about to retreat with no interruptions until suddenly two Greenies step in front of you and block your path.
You halt immediately, looking up at them with a furrowed brow.  “What now?”  You grunt, not having the patience to even wait for a response before attempting to squeeze around them.
“Hey, so you really saved our asses out there today, Goldie,” the one on the left quickly sidesteps in front of you and rushes to say, and you settle your weight back on your heels with a huff.
“What are you talking about?”  You glance back and forth between them, not recalling a time you’ve ever spoken to either one, before jerking your head to gesture over your shoulder.  “Go congratulate trophy boy over there, he was the one flying.”
“We did,” the one on the right tips sideways to look at Dameron behind your shoulder, likely still laughing and joking with someone about something, something super fucking dumb probably.  “Well, uh.  We tried.”
“What?”  You let out a heavy sigh and rub your temples.  “The fuck is that supposed to mean?  I don’t have the time.”
“He won’t take any credit, just keeps saying that all he did was steer you around,” the other one shrugs as his companion straightens and looks down at you once more.  “Wouldn’t accept any drinks we offer him, nothing.  So we thought we’d buy you one instead.  Unless you’re… leaving?”
It takes you a few seconds to process that, even as he allows the open invitation to hang in the air.  You can’t stop the way your torso automatically twists around to study your copilot from across the mess hall in baffled silence, suddenly realizing that they’re… they’re right.  Dameron has no congratulatory drinks sitting in front of him even though more and more people have made their way into the bar.  He’s just sitting there grinning and nodding along to something someone else is saying, completely and blissfully unaware of the extent to which he’s fucked with you in the past twenty minutes.  The past… whole day.  Month and a half.  Or… fuck, how long have you known him?  Two years?
But then Dameron’s gaze gradually drifts this way, before suddenly locking with yours.  His eyes flick behind you to look at the two Greenies blocking your exit, and then back to the way you’re staring at him, wide-eyed and startled.
He suddenly stands up and starts to take a few steps towards you, and the sheer abruptness of the movement causes you to react immediately.  You stumble your way backwards through the two pilots, feeling a few hands reach out to steady you through the awkward fumbling, but you slap them away and announce loud enough for Dameron to hear beyond them that you’re taking a shower, and you don’t give a fuck how long it’s gonna be this time.
***
The knob squeaks as you turn the water on.  Usually you’d step back and wait the grueling five minutes or longer it takes for it to heat up with your arms crossed over your naked chest, but this time you move directly under the freezing spray, hoping to use the ice cold to shock your system.
You're finally alone.
Technically solitude doesn’t really exist within this base.  You’ve heard of others that are a little nicer, having a little more room for the ranks, but not here.  Housing assignments, showers and restrooms, mess and recreation halls—they’re all communal.  Everyone is given rotating shifts, so while that means there’s never any true quiet to be found, it also means that showers are spread out well throughout the day and night.
But, at least for this moment, there’s nobody else around.  At least in here, in the tiled chamber with multiple shower heads stationed around you—you’re sure there are a few girls lingering in the locker room and the entry area beyond it, but for right now, you’re blissfully by yourself.
And yet, you can’t seem to enjoy it.
You know you should be basking in the isolation.  You should be thrilled at the rarity of only hearing your own flipflops slap against the floor as you turn around and drench your hair with the icy spray, but the lack of an immediate distraction for your focus allows it to wander to things you don’t want it to.
Explosions, mostly.  Lighting up like fireworks in front of your eyes even as they flutter closed and let water drip down them.  Constant, never-ending.  Some of them small—TIEs you shot down, allies drawing fire away from you and then subsequently getting overwhelmed, zipping through dense debris from deadly collisions so quick that you had trouble distinguishing friend from foe.  Some of them were massive—star destroyers splitting apart, warp drives overloading, enormous casualty counts.  You don’t know how many lives you took today, not directly.
The beginning was the worst—when you were still slightly disoriented, when you were panicked and screaming into the comms for assistance.  Then the closest stationed tandem showed up first—Red-Two and Eight, you think it was.  Doesn’t matter now.  They took some heat off you before the cavalry arrived, but you remember Dameron barking out your name the second their left thruster got nicked and they started spiraling, a ferociously deep, “With me!” cutting through the white noise.  It was enough to snap you back, forcing you to instantly flick your eyes away and focus dead ahead without witnessing their demise.
It wouldn’t have normally been necessary.  You’ve been flying with the Resistance for years, you’ve seen way too much bloodshed by now.  But you’ve never been the catalyst of it—you’ve always been able to confront threats accompanied by your squadron, right between Nine and Eleven, the flight controls rumbling steady under your palms.  You’ve never faced down an entire fleet in one single ship.  You’ve never had to rely so directly on the skills of another pilot in order to stay alive.
The water slowly heats to a lukewarm while you reach for the shampoo.
Surprisingly, for as much as the two of you clash in normal interactions, it was like everything eventually became… synchronized.  Spectacularly so.  Dameron started off the enemy confrontation by calling out his flight patterns to give you a chance to adjust your firing in real time, but then at some point, it just stopped being necessary.  There was a moment where you both were able to suddenly… get it.  Get each other.  He didn’t have to say anything after that—you could predict each other without second guessing, react instantaneously, and work your way through the littered battlefield accordingly.  You never thought it would be possible to collaborate so well with someone you’ve spent ages despising.  Sure, you’d both die if you didn’t—shit, you’d probably still both die regardless—but this kind of teamwork extended beyond the need to survive.  It doesn’t matter how much you want to stay alive when reading someone else’s mind is physically impossible, but for some reason…  You have no idea why, but it apparently came naturally between you.  It fell to pure instinct, pure reaction, and remarkably, his would somehow match yours perfectly, every single time.
You lather the shampoo in your hair, remembering how his voice changed over the course of the mission.  How it gradually shifted from panicked roars and barked orders into ecstatic cheers and genuine praise after landing a difficult shot, how he just couldn’t seem to stop whooping.  
You smile softly as the tepid water rinses away the dirt and sweat from your body, until the temperature is brought up to a gentle, comfortable warmth raining down you and echoing in the empty shower room.
And, your first name.  Dameron kept calling you that, the whole time.  The one you’re now absolutely certain you’ve never personally given to him.  The one he would’ve had to have listened for specifically.  Remembered, or at least asked the right person about.  But why?  It’s not… it makes no sense, he doesn’t give a shit.  He’s notorious for not giving a shit.  He can’t even be bothered to remember the names of the girls he’s actually with—so why did he go to the trouble to figure out yours?  You’ve been nothing but a thorn in his side the same way he is to you, right?
Right?
Your mind starts recollecting more recent events, trying to work through and process it by yourself.  He was… singing your praises today.  He was openly giving you credit for the win while you pouted in the corner and assumed the absolute worst of him.  As much as you’re frustrated that nobody else seemed to give voice to your contributions, you’re even more surprised that he was the one who did.
And then even earlier.  Gold-Nine, holding wagers with members of your squad (and others, apparently) about when you’re going to fuck him.  Dameron, tearing her a new one for it, forbidding Black Squadron from throwing in and not attempting to hide his disdain for her from you.  He… he defended you.  Stood up for you when your own squad was being a bunch of dicks behind your back.  And nobody ever fucking mentioned it to you.  What did Rossi say—a few weeks ago?  He’s known all this time and only today, only after you… openly showed more interest in him than you ever have, after you worked up enough nerve to try in your own little way to flirt back this time instead of responding to his casual comments with contempt and disgust, only today is when he decided to make a real move on you.
…Your mind is completely blank and yet you still feel yourself start to heat up just a bit at even alluding to the events that took place earlier.  The way his fingers felt—
Steam begins to fill the open concept chamber while you shake your head against the train of thought and reach for the soap, beginning to circle the bar along your arms and shoulders with a sigh.  This is already the longest shower you’ve taken in almost two months, and your body slowly relaxes under the mist and heat as you take forever cleaning yourself, slowly and hypnotically rubbing the soap along your skin.
The second you let your eyelids dip shut at the feeling, you immediately shiver at a flash of Dameron dragging his finger out of his mouth and blinking dark eyes at you through the transparisteel.
Fuck.  The soap slips from your hand and you quickly catch it against your body before it falls to the ground completely, suddenly feeling the need to breathe in the misty air a bit harder.  Shower, you’re in the shower.  Come on.
The dirt and grime is scrubbed from your face and you tilt your head to move the bar of soap across your neck.  As it lathers, you can’t help but remember the way his lips felt against the skin right there, the scratch of his beard.  You keep working the soap against that same spot for a while, not knowing if you’re trying to wash away the sensation or simulate it, until you gradually slow and make it lighter, softer—yes, that’s closer to how it felt, that’s—
Soon the water is boiling hot and you’re trying not to boil along with it, remembering everything he said against this spot, the filth he whispered to you here.  Your pussy starts to throb between your legs as the memories play out in your mind, how close he got you to shattering bliss without even really working for it.  If you put it all together collectively, you don’t think he actually touched you for more than a minute or two total today.  Mostly he just talked to you, but stars, he hit buttons you didn’t even think you had, had you a split second away from cumming harder than Maker knows while his finger rested just above your clit and provided no stimulation whatsoever.
Fuck, you enjoyed it.  You did, you’ll admit it when there’s no one else here but you.  You enjoyed the fuck out of it.  You wish he’d do it again.  Force you to lose, force you to cum so you can at least blame him for it, remove your responsibility from the equation and allow you to put just one more thing on his shoulders, to taste ecstacy instead of expecting you to bear the weight of pretending you don’t need it any longer.  He was doing you a favor, you realize that now.  Your body is staging a fucking coup and you wish you could’ve called mercy before it got to this agonizing point.  He turns you on, you fucking admit it.  He inspires violent emotions in you—jealousy, arousal, anger, temptation—thoughts you don’t want to have and consolidating it all into various forms of hatred makes the finer details easier to ignore.  Your perception of him has always been skewed by your iron will, but he all but took a fucking sledgehammer to it today, dented it beyond all recognition.  You want him, you want to him to take it all away, you want him to fuck you—in the… fuck, in the good way.
You don’t have a thought beyond that.  Your hand quickly falls down the length of your body to wash your private parts, biting your lip as your hips slowly start to rock into it.  You’re getting clean, you’re getting clean, this is how you clean yourself, this is… yes, as long as you keep the bar of soap pressed between your palm and the top of your curls like this, you’re cleaning yourself and you can just… ease your finger down just a little bit and—
Flipflops suddenly echo from the twisting hallway leading to the tiled freshers, and you immediately snatch your hand back up again, not needing to turn around to know another girl is walking into the room.  A knob somewhere to your right eventually makes a dull squeak as you quickly finish washing up and turn your showerhead off, grabbing your towel and wrapping it around yourself.
Maker, you feel like your pussy is plotting your demise.  Fuck, you can’t believe you almost cheated in the fucking showers just now where literally anyone could walk in, you thought you would’ve had more self-control than that.  You make your way into the changing rooms and grab your pajamas, starting to tug them on without fully drying your body and having only one thought in mind.  
Dameron will probably be celebrating late tonight.  You can tuck in early, scurry back to your room and cheat there.
Well, no, not cheating, because you clearly remember making a very compelling argument about wet dreams earlier today.  Maker, a freebie, the word has never sounded so enticing.  What you’d say amounts to a… bye-week orgasm basically, since you know he’s already lost at least one match against his own body and you’re meant to be competing on the same level.  It’s only fair to let you persevere through the toughest part of the challenge if he was allowed to throw a game early on and still stay in the competition.  Maybe he threw multiple games, you never got a straight answer concerning that, so it’s still under review.  He could’ve thrown… three games, even.  Or four.
You dress as quickly as possible and then nearly bolt through the entrance area to the restrooms with all the sinks and stalls.  The balled up dirty clothes and wet towel in your arms allow you to hide the way your nipples are stiff and tender against your thin pajamas, and you can’t wait to climb into your bunk and take everything off under the covers.  You’ll be able to cum, at least once.  It’ll relieve so much stress, get rid of this nightmare headache, rip through your body like lightning and paralyze it until you can start over from square one and think like yourself again.
And, you’re just about to power walk your ass back to your quarters when a body nearly slams into yours as soon as you step foot outside the door, your shoulder jerking back just in time to avoid a collision.
A mechanic, you think.  You’re not exactly sure, you don’t hang out with too many of them—he’s Chiss and his glowing red eyes don’t even land on you as you gasp and sidestep him at the last second, but it’s not him that catches the majority of your attention.  He just exited the men’s room at the same time you left the women’s, and the door takes a moment to swing shut behind him.
You freeze.  It can’t be more than a few seconds—but it feels like everything slows down and it lasts a fucking eternity.
Dameron is standing at a sink in the far corner of the room, naked except for a towel identical to the one in your arms wrapped loosely around his waist.  He cradles the base of his own throat with one hand and gently drags a razor down the smooth contour of it with the other, his chin tilted up high and regal while his eyelids dip low to concentrate on his movements.  He glances down and holds the foamy blade under the running faucet, tapping it twice against porcelain before the door slides him out of frame.
I can shave, a low, silky murmur slowly fills your ears, heat swelling low and hot in your tummy.  Tonight, I’ll shave it off.  Make it nice and smooth for you.
You feel like your body is just a collection of rigid knots all tied together, and the one between your legs is the tightest it’s ever been.  Stars, on another day you’d say it feels like a bad cramp, even though you know your injection makes your period rare and like clockwork.  Regardless, the split second image makes you shudder and clamp up painfully, and you just stand there and stare at the closed door for a second, trying not to shake.
Fuck, this is so fucking… presumptuous of him.
Realistically, you know it could have absolutely nothing to do with you.  It’s his face—you’re not self-centered enough to have completely lost your concept of autonomy.  He can do whatever he wants to his body, and that includes facial hair, full stop.  You also know that he’s not being… obvious about it, no matter how much it feels that way to you.  He’s using the sink and mirror at the very end of the room, not any of the ones nearest to the door—but even if he was, it’s not like he could’ve planned for you to walk out at the exact moment the metal hinge was angled wide open.  He couldn’t possibly have intended for this, for you to see him doing this.  He wasn’t making a show, didn’t even notice you standing there.  You blame literally everything on him, or at least you always try your absolute best to—but this one…
It sends a hard shudder down your spine and you clutch the fabric in your arms tighter, trying not to drop it.  Fuck.  This is torture.  Fuck him.  Good and bad—both ways, all the ways he can be fucked, fuck him.  Your head is spinning, you’re sweating fresh out of the shower, you need to cum.  Maybe if you hurry, you can get that precious orgasm before he’s finished, because if Dameron is able to intercept you before you can tend to this, you’re… you’re not sure how you’re going to say no to him.
You don’t even think you want to anymore.  
You feel like you’re just… holding onto it on principle now.  Too stubborn and hardheaded to want change.  Too stuck in your own ways to recognize how much everything already has changed.
Somehow, you end up making your way back to your room, but the whole thing is a blur.  Your flipflops plap against your heels as you navigate through hallways as quick as you can, emptier than you’ve seen them in months.  You know most of the pilots are probably out celebrating in either the mess hall or rec room, but the thought doesn’t really presently register.  Almost nothing registers besides your continuous forward motion and the way you feel yourself throb with every step, aching for something you are going to get tonight.  Fuck, you are so attached to this orgasm now, it’s not going anywhere and neither are you.  You deserve this, you deserve some relief.  Come hell or highwater, it’s happening tonight.
As soon as you step into your room and slap your hand blindly against the wall panel to close the door behind you, you’re carelessly dropping the bundle of fabric to the floor and then shrugging out of your pajamas in the cool pitch darkness, having exactly one mission in mind.  You don’t bother with lights, with brushing your hair, with literally anything besides clamoring up the ladder to your top bunk and wiggling under the thin bedsheet, making sure to pull it up to your chin before your legs butterfly open.  The tip of your finger wets itself on your tongue and then you’re dropping it down and sliding it against your poor clit, the pleasure arcing and flaring so sharp and sensitive even from your touch that you have to give it just a second.
…No, no you don’t.  You don’t have to give it fucking anything.  You keep moving your finger hard and quick even as your hips naturally want to jerk away from it, shoving yourself through the sensitivity with gritted teeth and a ferocious will.
Fuck, how long do you think you have?  Was Dameron shaving pre or post-shower?  You can’t remember, all you know is he had a towel around his waist.  And that thin gold chain hanging down his neck.  Was his hair wet?  Fuck, why can’t you remember?  His chin and jaw were smooth as silk, you know that much.  Post-shower, then.  Probably.  Probably?
His chin and jaw were smooth as silk.  You keep getting stuck on that no matter how chaotically your thoughts whirl; they fling out in different directions at different velocities but all somehow manage to go in a perfect circle and end up at the same place you started.  His chin, his jaw, his mouth, his neck, his chin, his mouth, his jaw, his mouth, his mouth, his mouth—
You feel yourself start to clamp down and you speed up, chasing it.  The pleasure starts burning deep inside you, the fire slowly licking down your thighs and rising up into your abdomen, and then—
And then a series of quiet beeps from the hallway practically blare like alarm bells to your frantic mind.
You immediately stop moving your finger, snapping your legs tight together and flat to the mattress as soon as the door to your room shifts open and fluorescent light spills inside, and you feel like you could actually fucking cry right now.
All this edging is just a form of self-flagellation at this point.  You lay there and try not to make a sound, try not to tremble hard enough to shake the whole bunk with it, but even your breathing feels like it’s going to give you away.  Dameron, shirtless with his towel draped over his shoulder, slowly steps into the room and then pauses almost immediately, making your heart stutter for a second at what so blatantly caught his attention.
One quick glance down towards his feet confirms the simultaneous hope and fear—you left everything on the floor.  The towel, the dirty clothes, and your pajamas are strewn about haphazardly right where he needs to walk.
You know what it must look like to him.  A trail of clothes leading directly to an occupied bed isn’t exactly subtle, even though you didn’t necessarily intend it that way.  Still, what can you say?  Your hand is shoved in between your legs right now and you’re in your birthday suit under this thin sheet, what the fuck can you say to him?  Sorry Dameron, got too caught up with how stupid wet you get me that I left those there on accident on my way to cheat, but totally not because I lowkey want your help doing it.  Convincing, that’ll go over great.
Dameron slowly lifts his head to look at you.  Or, at least you think he does—the light from the open door behind him casts his body in a dark silhouette, but you know your face is perfectly illuminated for him right now.  Blinking down at him from the top bunk with your brows pulled up in the middle, wide-eyed and desperate and caught red-handed.  Fuck, you don’t know if he can see the way your knees are clamped tight together and your hand rests perfectly still against your pussy like this from the angle he’s at, but you know it has to be super fucking obvious either way.  You’re breaking the rules, you’re touching yourself, and you both know it.  You can’t lie, you can’t even sit up without confirming his very valid suspicion.  He can call the game at any point, but…
You watch his head fall back down to study the mess you left for him once more.  Fuck, are you positive that was an accident?  Normally you wouldn’t second guess anything about your own understanding of the interactions that occur between you and him, but—you’ve never done that before.  You’ve lived with roommates on this base for years, you don’t just… get naked before getting into bed, that’s bad form.  How are you going to get up in the morning without having your pajamas shoved near your feet while you sleep?  Wrap this thin bedsheet around yourself and scamper down the ladder until you can snatch them up from the floor, and then what?  Climb all the way back up just to wiggle the clothes on underneath the blanket before going back down again?  Maker, you fucked up, your pussy is plotting your fucking demise.
But then everything inside you pulls taut as Dameron suddenly decides to move.  Slowly, he leans down to catch your orange jumpsuit closest to his feet with a few fingers, before he stands upright and carefully begins folding the fabric without saying a single word to you.  Electricity buzzes through you as he very obviously takes his time with it, using nearly his whole armspan to lengthen and fold the sleeves while his chest and chin meet for support.  When he’s eventually satisfied with it, he takes a few steps toward the empty desk on your side of the room and then sets the neat rectangle of fabric atop it where you usually keep it.
You bite your lip and you can’t help it—you start to move your finger as he goes back to sort the pajamas you wore for barely two seconds from your dirty clothes, folding and putting away whatever is clean and then tossing the rest into the shared laundry basket that gets collected every week.  Somehow it makes you feel even more naked, seeing all your clothes be returned to their proper places, realizing that this is your base state now, this is what you’re going to wear tonight.  Nothing.  You left everything on the floor and trapped yourself up here, he’s simply shifting a pawn forward two spaces in kind now that you’ve made your first move.
You can feel yourself pulse threateningly against your own fingertip while he collects your wet towel and drapes it over your closet door to dry, and your breath comes louder through your nose while you bite back the noises you want to make, the way your movements so desperately want to speed up.  Your hand working the way you want it to under the white sheets would be too much, too revealing, but you don’t know how much longer you’ll be able to care.
But then of course, the asshole has to go and put away his towel and clothes, and you endure through the whole thing while pressing back and forth against your clit so hard and slow that your toes curl and pull the sheet tucked under your chin taut.  After that’s done, he makes his way over to the portshade above his desk and slowly slides it open a few inches, the light of three moons outside gradually filling the room.  However, when Dameron goes back to press a button on the wall panel and close the door to the hallway, you immediately see how much softer it is in here, how the artificial fluorescents have thankfully disappeared and the room illuminates more than it blinds, glows more than it beams.  He presses one more button as the lock inside the paneling slides into place.
You bite your bottom lip and try your best to hide the pleasure you’re building for yourself while he makes his way back to his desk, quietly swiping the radio off it and lowering the volume knob completely before he flips it on.  The noise slowly amplifies until you’re able to catch two distinct voices conversing in Huttese—it’s the only lingua franca that still broadcasts on this old technology in this part of the galaxy, but he’s already flipping through the stations in search of something specific.
If you were thinking straight, you may have actually recognized this for what it is, but you’re having trouble even processing the details of your general surroundings right now, your mind is lagging and too slow at reading between the lines.  Dameron’s doing exactly what he said he would do.  He laid it all out earlier for you in the x-wing, telling you exactly what he wanted plain as day, and now he’s checking the whole list off one by one.  The shade is open and the room is lit just enough to make him out, the door is locked, and he’s finding something to listen to.  Something quiet, and easy.
If you were thinking straight, you’d realize that there’s a much more obvious reason why he shaved his beard—you never told him the truth about how much you liked it.  You never tell him the truth.  You allow—even encourage him to think the sharp things you say to him are exactly how you feel.  He did it because he believed you.
Oh, but you’re not thinking straight.  Your thoughts are scattered and the only thing they can agree upon is how good this feels, even as your breathing starts to grow heavier, grow louder underneath the sound of the radio.  The thought stays right beneath your consciousness, tugging at your preoccupied mind.  You work your finger with just a little more verve now that he’s flipping through the stations, knowing he’s distracted by spinning the dial through intermittent white noise while different voices and songs fill the room for just a second at a time.
Your bed, his voice suddenly echoes through your thoughts, originating from your subconscious but almost sounding like it’s coming from the radio in your delirious mind.  I want you comfortable.
Fuck, the understanding finally clicks the second he flips to a slower song and you start to burn at the thought of what’s next.  The silent promise that his actions allude to.  You have the realization way too late but at least it still comes at all with the state you’re in.  Your hand slows down immediately, not even needing to consciously consider the choice between achieving orgasm through your finger or his mouth.  Still, it’s hard to stop touching yourself completely when it feels so fucking good to your deprived body.
Fuck, it’s barely been a few seconds since your realization and yet you immediately bristle in distress at how fucking long he’s taking.
So you open your mouth.  You’re desperate and needy and on the verge of something, and it comes out without thought.  You don’t think it’s loud enough for him to hear, but his head immediately lifts and looks unseeingly at the wall in front of him for a second, as if he’s questioning if he imagined it.  A soft melody plays on a bluesy guitar while you hiccup and wait, but he doesn’t move.
And then you say it again, higher and tighter in your throat, pitched up to an impatient, girlish whine.  “Poe…”
The radio is tossed onto the bottom bunk as soon as he spins around and walks towards the ladder, but it’s like your finger has a mind of its own the moment he disappears underneath your line of sight.  Your legs spasm against the mattress and you bite your lip, not caring about the frantic way your hand begins moving under the sheet as his muted footsteps climb up the rungs.
Your eyes snap to his as soon as you can see him beyond the railing at your feet, heaving himself up until everything above his waist is above you, too.  His pauses there and his lashes quickly dip to the shameless movements between your legs as you work yourself towards that approaching bliss, and then flick back to the way you’re biting your lip and looking at him so torn, wanting so badly to wait for it but not being able to right now.
Slowly, he begins to move forward, crawling his way up the mattress and over your body, noticeably careful with where he places his limbs.  You’re not hard to dodge, though—you’re like a rigid stick of desperation under him, knees and ankles still clamped tight together and your arms streamlined as close to your body as possible with tension as you keep rubbing your clit.  Not to mention the sheet is thin and shows your figure almost perfectly with how tight you’ve hooked it under your chin, only leaving the finest details to the imagination.
But then there starts to be a little strain against the fabric, an unspoken question he’s still bothering to ask even though you could’ve told him to fuck off ages ago.  Poe could yank the sheet down and flip your shit over and destroy you right now if he wanted—fuck, like you want him to do—but his face slowly appears in front of yours instead and his dark eyes search your features for answers.  The length of his chain dangles from his muscular neck and glows against his golden skin, his whole upper body stretched long and bare over you.
From the gradually increasing tightness pulling on the fabric, you expect the sheet to rip down your body as soon as you lift your chin and let that resistance go, but instead… stars, it’s slow.  Why is he going so fucking slow??  The bedsheet barely flutters down to your collarbone before he’s able to stop tugging on it so hard, and then he just gently inches the hem down from that point on.
Fuck—your eyes drop to his lips as he eventually reveals your shoulders and sternum to the room, and then lower to your cleavage while you let out a hushed whimper, praying he understands the extent of how vulnerable you’re allowing yourself to be.  You don’t do this often—and you definitely don’t do it with someone like him.  He’s the one who said you needed this, isn't he?  So why the fuck is he dragging out the anticipation?  Pretending like he doesn’t see the way you’re begging for help in the middle of another warzone that’s breaking out for the second time today?
Poe’s head drops down to give the contour of your neck a long drag of his tongue, slow and hot and wet, the sheet eventually dropping beneath your nipples and exposing them to the cool air.  You bite your lip and keep working yourself under the fabric even as it’s led down the length of your tummy, and you just get wetter and wetter feeling him mouth at your skin as the radio continues to play soft from the bottom bunk.  He follows the skin as it’s revealed, licking down from your collarbone and working with the increasing rate of your breathing.  His lips never feel like they vary in pressure, even as your chest heaves up and down and your lungs work hard for air.
His open mouth slowly drags down the curve of your breast and it makes your blood burn fire through your veins.  You nearly choke when your nipple is enveloped in soft heat, his tongue quickly fluttering up under the stiff peak and giving it to you so gently, contrasting so light and vernal with how brilliant and neon bright the need between your legs is.  Your hand starts to work quicker, and fuck—you can hear it now, your desperate movements audible over the shallow breaths and the sound of one song gradually fading into another below you.  You’re just too fucking wet and your pussy is smushed with how tight your legs are pressed together—the noise is unavoidable, and Poe’s knees are planted too close to either side of your thighs to spread them really at all.
Fuck, you knock against the resistance regardless to let him know what you want, but he doesn’t budge and it makes you just about lose your damn mind.  Does he have to make everything so fucking difficult?  You couldn’t close your legs earlier and now you can’t open them, and it’s like he’s able to take perfect advantage of each opposing position to prolong your torture.
But then his tongue leaves you even as his jaw opens just slightly, and that’s the only warning you get before his teeth graze your nipple with a sudden arc of sensation and you flare up all at once.
It’s a miracle and a curse that you’re able to stop at the very last second, your hand jerking away from your pussy and flexing into a fucking death claw on your thigh at how close you were, and you don’t know why.  Why did the fuck did you stop?  There’s nothing standing in your way right now, you’ve consciously given yourself express permission to cum, but still.  It must just be learned instinct at this point—hammered into your muscle memory for weeks on end to not allow the pleasure no matter what, especially when you’re this fucking close to it.
Nonetheless you garble out nonsense and cinch inwards on yourself to fight it off now that you’ve apparently decided against it.  There’s nothing worse than a half-assed orgasm, and you have to quickly summon the conviction behind your split second reaction before it’s too late and your body takes the pleasure any way it can get it.
Poe’s mouth releases your nipple at the way your whole spine suddenly hunches in and he drops his forehead to your chest, breathing heavy down the slope of your breast as you tremble and grapple for your sanity.
“Did you just cum?”  Is the first thing he says to you, his voice is so ragged and stony it’s practically gravel crunching as he speaks.
“N-n-no,” you quickly stammer at the ceiling, trying to remember how to breathe correctly.  Inhale, exhale—fuck, which one is inhale again, which one comes first?  Maker, does he need to call a fucking medic?  “Huhhhhalmost?”
Poe takes a deep breath and slowly releases it with a bassy and warm mmmm rumbling against your skin, so coarse but pleased enough to sound like melted chocolate dripping down your body.  The noise sends a violent shudder through you and it’s almost enough to knock you back to that edge again, even without your fingers assisting it.  
His head dips and the sheet pulls down even more, just below your belly button now, and you let out a quiet gasp in anticipation, nearly on the verge of begging him to keep moving downwards.  But when Poe’s eyes close and his mouth suddenly moves back up to open over your other nipple instead, your patience snaps.  
Fuck him, bad way.  This is your orgasm, you’re done waiting.
“I’m gonna cum,” you snarl furiously down at him, shoving your hand between your legs even as Poe’s lips quirk against your skin.  It’s not a warning, it’s a threat.  If he’s gonna be like this, he doesn’t get to share it with you.  It’s your orgasm, you’ll give it to yourself if he doesn’t give a shit about it.  “Thought you wanted it, guess not.”
You immediately feel his teeth again in response to your admittedly slightly bitchy comment and this time he lets your nipple roll just a bit between them, making you jerk at the sensation and quickly find your clit again.  Oh, you’re soaking fucking wet, you’re wet everywhere.  Slick and swollen and burning, and it’s not going to take much at all.  The sheet sticks to your overheated body and you can’t tell the difference between your sweat, his saliva, or wetness from between your legs—it all just feels damp and slippery as you gradually lose your bearings under his mouth.
“Fuck this, I’m gonna cum,” you breathe once more, possibly nothing more than a mindless reiteration but most likely just one last veiled plea for him to give you what you both want.  As if he can tell, Poe quickly lifts his mouth and suddenly the sheet is ripped the rest of the way down your naked body completely, sharp and frustrated, and then his lips brush against your elbow as it twitches, nipping the sensitive skin there.
“Brat,” he growls quietly against your forearm as he keeps dragging his lips down further, following the path it makes along your tummy.  “Just likes making shit difficult.”
“You’re the one—” you hiccup, trying to sound angry but just melting into a puddle at the tip of his tongue slowly trailing down your frantically moving wrist, “—you’re the… the o-one who… who…?”
But you’re already sprinting towards that edge, feeling him drop even lower and his hot breath fan against your fingers, and at this point you’re too far gone.  Poe gently kisses at your closed thighs, in perfect position and ready for you, but you can’t stop yourself anymore unless he makes you stop, and the longer he waits down there without grabbing your hand to replace it with something better the more you don’t give a shit about whether or not it’s going to happen.  You can feel the orgasm rising, you can feel your toes flex and everything start to lock down for the approaching tsunami.  You’re going to get it this time, you’re going to cum, you’re going to—
“This is—” you rasp, “—this is a f-free, a fffff-ffreeeeb—”
His tongue softly grazes your knuckle as it works.
And then there’s a moment.  A suspended moment that seems to go on forever, where you’re launched directly over that cliff and yet you still seem to be gaining altitude.  Where’s the drop?  You’re already cumming—you can feel it, there’s absolutely no fucking going back now, but it’s like your sheer desperation has so much momentum that your body tricks itself into believing there’s nothing to land on, no gravity to immediately rip you straight down to your demise.
You choke out his name and your back arches with it and that must be the signal, because Poe finally pulls your hand away and lets his chin dip, and then his jaw falls open and allows you just enough time to catch the glimmer of his pink tongue before it slides wet and slow through your swollen folds.
Heat.  It sears through your whole body with a wracked shudder, the slick glide over your clit as his eyes flutter closed, and within the very first second of feeling his mouth on you, you’re instantly cumming inside it.
There.  There’s the drop.
The burning erupts into molten chaos, crumpling your whole body on impact like an accordion, but he sinks all his weight down on your legs and forces you to endure it with everything below your waist pinned to the mattress.  It’s fucking mayhem.  You feel like your voice actually rips itself in half with the ragged cry of blinding relief, so enormous and soul wrenching in power that you couldn’t even hope to muffle it.  You can’t move your hips through it, you can’t stutter up to ride it out—you have to experience the whole thing with your lower body completely still while his tongue takes slow, gentle licks at your throbbing clit, only able to sit your shoulders up and slam them back down and grab his head as you endure.
You cum hard.  Fucking hard.  It’s daunting and explosive and utterly devastating in the havoc it wreaks, and just when you think you’ve seen the worst of it, it’s just so slow.  Creeping along and obliterating everything in its path, taking an eternity to pass because of how fucking big it is.
When you’re finally able to float back down into your own body again, the first thing you notice is how tight his hold is.  Poe’s arms are wrapped around your thighs to keep them pressed tight together and you can feel the wetness all the way down to your fucking knees as they tremble against each other.  Stars, what did he do to you?  You feel like you actually wet yourself, there’s way too much dampness on the mattress underneath you to feel anywhere close to normal for you.
His mouth eventually leaves you but his head doesn’t move, nothing else moves.  Even his hot breath feels like rough stimulation to your throbbing pussy.
And then Poe shifts and adjusts his body just enough, catching the backs of your knees and slowly spreading your legs up and apart like you wanted to do ages ago.  They feel like jelly, wobbly and unsteady even as his thumbs hook right under your knees and easily support most of their weight.  Your pussy is soon exposed completely, and his shoulders move down just before his head drops to lick the collection of wetness right from your entrance.  Fuck, he couldn’t get it from the previous angle your legs were at, just your clit at the very top—but this is deep and personal and you know he’s probably getting mouthfuls of how hard he just made you cum, using the tip of his tongue to scoop your arousal up and swallowing it quietly before going back for more.
“Poe,” you whisper, and he rumbles low in his throat in response without stopping.  This isn’t for you, this isn’t for your benefit right now.  Your pleasure receptors aren’t concentrated right here, just the physical evidence of them being overloaded just a few moments ago, but he stays for longer than necessary.  He keeps his mouth here far longer than you need to push past the throbbing sensitivity and start to crave the sensation again, forcing you to bite your lip to stop yourself from telling him to move back up just a couple inches.
So you seek it out instead, the lower part of your body clearly not listening to a damn thing your mind tells it right now.  Your hips drop and his velvet tongue catches your clit at the apex of its repetitive motion, and you gasp and rock upwards again as Poe groans and immediately rises with you to chase it.  He attaches to the swollen flesh and sucks at it gently for you, following your lead, letting your wet fingers comb his hair back from his face and clutch a good fistful of it as you plant your feet and slowly grind up into his mouth.
Fuck.  He was right.  You needed this.  Everything about it is heaven—endorphins pour off you in waves as you roll your hips against his face, and he lets you do it.  He’s not just pliant, he’s willing.  His tongue works diligently, his eyes close and he moans into your pussy, allowing you to tug his hair and fit to his mouth exactly how you want.
Oh, everything burns.  Everything smolders and sparks, because he’s always been so withholding and now he’s just going for it.  He’s reading your mind better than he did during the battle today, not necessarily submissive in his approach but… servicing.  Accommodating.  Finally giving in and putting real effort into helping you chase after another shot of ecstasy without being so stingy about it like before.
As soon as you feel another familiar swell of something deep down, your mouth is suddenly dropping open.
“How many—” your ragged voice comes out without thinking, and it takes so fucking long to actually attach the train of thought to its conduit of translation.  You swallow thickly and flex your fingers in his hair, tugging at him to ground yourself, trying to anchor yourself to the very thing that’s about to fling you into oblivion again.  “—fuck, how many times did you… how many fr-freebies do I—do I…”
Poe eases his chin back just enough to respond, and the slick sound his tongue makes leaving your clit makes you shudder and miss the wretched words at first.  “Mm.  Just the one.”
And then his tongue is already sliding back through your pussy by the time your eyes pop open in immediate panic, and your clit is in his mouth again as soon as yours drops to frantically contest.
But the words aren’t coming, it feels too fucking amazing.  Your jaw goes slack and your fingers tighten in his hair.  Maker almighty, the orgasm swells up so sharp and quick that you have to fucking kick him at the very last second to get away from it.  Thankfully Poe’s mouth abruptly leaves you with his oof of shock at your audacity, lifting his head as you snap your legs together and grit your teeth through your miserable retreat from ecstasy.  You don’t even notice the way your knee almost knocks into his jaw with it—you just focus on shamefully easing your way back down again from the platform overlooking bliss like you’re too afraid of the high-dive.  After a second, you actually have to turn on your side and rock yourself like a child as Poe slowly sits up with a grimace, lifting his arm to rub at his ribcage where your heel slammed into him.
You peek an eye open to watch him do it and oh no, it’s not a good plan.  He’s so… fucking hot.  Fuck.  He’s unbelievably good-looking—his hair curls and frames such handsome features, his body is lovely and warm and seeing his chest bare and up close like this makes you want to reach out and slowly drag your hand down the smooth curve of his side.  But then your gaze catches on the dark sweatpants tented shamelessly between his legs and how he’s glistening with perspiration, too, and how he tugs at the fabric covering his crotch and sighs softly, blinking down at you slow and intoxicated with lust.
You have to close your eyes and bury your face into the pillow because your body is latching onto anything to keep you within inches of that edge.  The mere sight of him is enough to make you worry for yourself.  You take deep breaths and do your best to tune his existence out entirely.  Just you, just you in your bed, trying desperately not to cum without even touching yourself.  You’re naked and curled up and there's no one here to look down at you with deep brown eyes, no one else breathing and especially not equally as loud as you are.  Just you, just you.
And, just when you think you might finally get to the point where you’re not teetering anymore, where you’re at least mostly certain that moving around and looking at things and just existing in general isn’t going to make you completely unravel hands-free at any moment, he has to fucking… go and be himself.
You peek up to see him staring down at you, dark and intimate and devouring, before his hand gently brushes down the curve of your hip.  “Maker, you are so fucking hot right now.  Was that a close one, pretty baby?”
Your hand snaps out to grab his wrist with a whimper and you don’t know if your intent is to stop him or just hang on for dear life, but your grip is weak and you shake and Poe takes the opportunity to grab a handful of your ass while you do absolutely fuck all to stop him.
“Mmmm.  Open your legs,” he murmurs, releasing your flesh just to give it a soft smack.  “You’re only making it worse like this.”
“What?  W-What do you—” you stammer, but Poe drags his hand down your thigh to catch one of your knees and pull it up without waiting for your babbled reply.  Both knees go with him, your pelvis wound too tight and frozen to do anything but rotate your whole entire body on your tailbone.
“You’re just adding more pressure by keeping them closed,” he explains, wiggling his fingers in between your knees to try and get enough of a grip to pry them apart.  “C’mon—open your legs, let yourself breathe.”
“Nnnnnnstop talking,” you groan, trying to slap at him, but he’s strong enough to force the movement regardless, levering your knees apart and then pushing them tight to the mattress.  And, though he would normally be right about it, you’re fighting your mind to get away from the orgasm just as much as you are your body.  The sudden exposure and the positioning and the way he automatically drops his gaze down at your needy pussy with his cock still hidden in his pants like that only serves to displace the cause instead of eliminating the effect.  Closing the door and opening a window, shifting the stimulation somewhere else but allowing it to throb steady and aching regardless.
“Much better,” he sighs lowly, digging his fingers into the sore muscles inside your thighs and you just keep your hands loosely attached to his wrists as he works.  “Fuck me, baby’s got such a pretty pussy doesn’t she?”
“Poe,” you wheeze up at him, hearing him rumble at the sight of your cunt contracting around nothing, probably shining and glistening with your desperation for him.  By this point, you’re worrying again.  You have no doubt whatsoever that he could talk you into cumming just like this, with your hands trembling and clutching at his wrists.  If he keeps murmuring filth while holding your legs open and staring at your pussy like this, you have no doubt you’ll find a way to get there somehow.
Thankfully, he seems to understand.  He goes quiet and just keeps massaging your sore muscles while you try not to writhe underneath him.  Stars, it’s like he’s genuinely doing what he can to take it easy on you and you’re still all kinds of fucked up about it, still frantic and desperate while all he’s doing is just squeezing your legs.
“Calm down,” he gruffs, but you can’t.  “You’re working yourself up, don’t—”
“Stop talki—” your ragged growl is cut off by your own hiccup as you quickly find the strength to shove at his hands, knowing they’re at least mostly to blame for your prolonged tightrope walk.  You can’t fucking think when he’s touching you, you become too hyper-aware of your own body, it feels too good in a way that’s hard to describe and impossible to explain.  Poe’s palms immediately listen and raise in front of him in surrender, his back lifting to give you space while you hide your face from him with shaky hands and gasp.  It’s pathetic and your legs are still held wide open and your fingers tremble hard enough to resemble a malfunction.
You just.  You need a hard reset.  You need that thirty seconds of complete idle, of figuring shit out on your own without an electric current running through you before you can start working properly again.  It can’t be rushed, it’s necessary when most people just want to power down and then right back up again.  The wires connecting your parts are all criss-crossed and tangled and sparks are lighting up at the slightest stimulus, you just need to experience absolutely nothing for thir—
“I’m sorry,” Poe murmurs, still staying in his own space but the gravelly voice shooting a bolt of lightning down your spine.  Thirty seconds, of course he couldn’t give you thirty fucking seconds.  “Fuck, you’re so hot, I’m sorry—”
“Please stop talking,” you beg him, your fingers curling against your face, “Maker, I—I don’t want to cum—”
“Fuck, I know, it’s the sexiest thing I’ve ever fucki—”
You go to kick him again and even though it collides wrong and does nothing more than get your message across, the jostle is enough to knock you back from the approaching oblivion just slightly.  It serves to wake you up way more than it remotely hurts him, the equivalent of someone just smacking a piece of machinery and fixing the problem temporarily.
You heave an enormous breath and blink your eyes open behind your fingers, immediately locking with his.  Poe’s teeth are digging into his bottom lip but he’s mercifully silent, even when you drop your shaky hands down to your spread thighs and stay equally silent another full minute while you make the effort to right yourself.  After awhile though, you realize he must be taking cues from you, waiting for you to speak.
Only, you suddenly don’t know what to say.  You’re at a complete loss, looking up at him through your eyelashes in uncertainty now.  Something you’ve never been around him, even as your pussy is wide open for him to look at.  He hasn’t recently, though, you don’t think.  He’s just keeping his eyes on your face, watching you bite your lip and blink up at him while your mind whirls, the only sound that can be heard is the radio continuing to lull from the bottom bunk.
You wish he’d say something.  How come he’s choosing right now to listen to what you tell him to do?  You don’t… you don’t know what to say to him.  Why can’t you figure out something?  You fidget but then suddenly feel your expression lose all its struggle and just look… innocent.  Needing his help.
“Do you want me to leave?”  Poe eventually asks after another moment, tentative of breaking the silence, and you frantically shake your head before he’s even finished speaking.  Fuck, something drops in your stomach at how desperate you’re probably coming off right now, but you’re so lost and you know that’s at least one question you know the immediate answer to.
Poe tilts his head thoughtfully, slowly reaching a hand towards your thigh without removing his eyes from yours.  “Want me to make you cum again?”
You shake your head again, wide-eyed and worried.  He immediately pulls his hand back and blinks slowly at you.
“You want to be edged more?”  He asks lowly, and you shake your head vehemently for the third time.  Poe sighs and sits back, planting his palms to his thighs and pulling at the fabric of his pants in budding frustration, clearly tired of playing twenty questions.  “Well what do you want, baby?  You wanna just hang out?  That’s fine, I don’t care, but you gotta tell me.”
Fuck, he’s right, what do you want?  The only thing that’s standing in your way of feeling better, you soon realize.
“Want you to cum first,” you mumble, cheeks warming at how childish you sound.
“Not a fucking chance,” Poe immediately scoffs, crossing his arms over his bare chest.  “And pouting at me isn’t gonna help.”
“Why not?”  You breathe, dipping your gaze down his body.  “I can use my mouth.”
“I don’t—” he stops short, suddenly registering what you said and switching gears.  “You can—?”  Poe narrows his eyebrows and looks suspicious.  “You’ll let me… cum in it?”
“Okay,” you whisper in breathless agreement, sitting up and reaching for him, but Poe groans and pushes you back down on the mattress with a flattened palm against your shoulder like you just aced a test he was hoping you’d fail.
“Fuck whoever’s idea this was,” he grits darkly to himself while you arch up against his hold, wanting him to grab your tits but knowing it’s not a good idea right now.  “Maker, I’m so fucking hard—fuck whoever’s idea this was, making me turn that down—”
“You said,” you pant, licking your dry lips and blinking up at the ceiling, trying to control yourself, “before, you said that you’re… you’re not doing this for a bet, right?  So why not?”  Your voice goes softer when you flutter your gaze back at him, even though the accusation feels like it should be sharper if anything, since it comes from a very real place of distrust.  “Were you just… lying to me about that?”
“Fuck, come on,” Poe groans, his voice starting to waver as he shakes his head and squints one eye at you, exasperated.  “You don’t get it.  You can’t think of a single fucking reason I don’t wanna blow my load just yet?  Really?”
The sentence coupled with his rock solid hold on you skitters a thrill through your body and you automatically reach up to run your hand along his forearm.  He looks down at the caress and then back to your face and fuck, even you feel like you’re sending mixed signals right now.
“You could… fuck me,” you whisper, and Poe’s dark eyebrows pull up as his gaze falls down your naked body, nodding and digging his teeth into his bottom lip.  An agreement backed by so much unspoken desire that it looks like it almost hurts him just to hear you say it out loud.  “And we can just… see who cums first.”
“Yeah?”  He croaks, his eyes pinned between your open legs.  “Just say fuck it all and race for last place?  Okay.”
Your heart pounds, having just enough wherewithal to preemptively establish a safety net for yourself.  “And—and we can’t finish at the same time or we both lose.”
“Fuck,” Poe groans, reaching down to catch the hem of his sweatpants with his thumb and lifting his hips until his cock is exposed to the dim room.  “We can’t stop once we start, then, we’ll have to see it through.”
Except you don’t catch any of the last part because, uh.  Well, to sum up.  May the Maker have mercy on you all.
Just like that, the only thought in your mind is… you get it.  Okay, you get it.  He told you before that girls were only interested in him for his cock, and it actually… stars, it makes so much fucking sense now, you totally get it.  You thought maybe he was just boasting as a form of overcompensation at first—or, to put it another way you’ve probably used in conversation with him before, talking big talk but walking small walk.  Only now, you’re… humbled.  By a fucking dick, you’re humbled.
You haven’t seen more than a few of them in this context, so you know you’re not necessarily qualified to give an informed opinion, but heavens it’s a sight.  It’s thick and swollen and just a shade darker than his complexion and everything inside you rockets to attention as soon as he wraps his hand around it.  It’s big.  It fills his whole palm without much room to spare.  Far larger than what you’re used to, and you know that no matter how he fucks you with it, you’re gonna feel it tomorrow.  Next weekend, probably.
Your eyes must betray you, because Poe suddenly loosens his grip and breathes your name softly, causing you to flick your eyes back up to his.  You didn’t realize you were staring so openly.
“I’ll go slow,” he reassures you quietly, voice gentle and knowing.  The complete lack of sarcasm or aggression in his tone is enough to snap you back to yourself, knowing that can’t possibly be right.  He’s talking to you like he did when you stumbled your ass out of the x-wing today, when you were barely responsive and lost in dumb shock.  He doesn’t have to… be nice to you right now, like you’re still only moments away from losing it.  It’s offensive.
“I can handle it,” you harumph, widening your legs while Poe immediately suppresses a grin.
“'Course you can,” he sighs with the slightest note of fondness creeping into his voice, dropping his hips as he lines up at your entrance.  “And I’ll go slow anyways.”
You open your mouth to respond but at the first push of his head inside, you inhale sharply and your palm immediately shoots out to press against his chest on complete instinct.  The stab of pain is impossible to mask from your features and Poe instantly stops with a shaky breath, watching how your jaw drops at the intrusion and your face contorts.
“Ahh.  Shit…” he whispers as his head tips down, dark eyes clamping shut and his hold on you tightening.  “What—shit, what the fuck…”
“Keep going,” you growl out, even though you know you’re just making it more difficult on yourself.  You can take Poe’s cock, you can take it, he has absolutely nothing to brag about, it’s completely normal-sized—
His hips inch forwards and you gasp at the excruciating arc of sensation, slapping at him harder.
“Keep going,” you babble while locking your elbows and shoving him back, “fuck, keep going, keep going—”
“Baby,” Poe groans, wrenching one of your hands from his chest and bringing your wrist up to his mouth to kiss and breathe hot air on it, “baby, you gotta let me—”
He moves a little more and you cry out, jerking your hand back from his lips and knocking it hard against his chest before you even realize it.  Oh shit, you can’t handle it, you haven’t been fucked in so long—
“I’m sorry,” you choke out, trying to be nicer by flattening your palm but then immediately digging your nails in, “fuck, I’m sorry, it’s just—it’s been awhile since I—”
“Shit, I can tell,” he pants brokenly, his fingers dropping back down to flex hard on your hip.  “Hoooolyfuck, I can te—ah, fuck, it’s alright, it’s alright, just—nnnnnnshit, okay, just relax, don’t tense up too muuuh… much—”
His cock pushes deeper even as he keeps rambling through it and you feel yourself being rearranged to make room for the slow movement, giving way to a rich pleasure even as the discomfort increases.
Poe stops once more when your hands shove up against him, somehow simultaneously shakier and firmer than all the other times put together and a little more than half of him inside you at this point.  You’re so slick and hot between your legs that there’s no resistance besides the stretch, nothing to stop him from slamming home besides your weak hands trembling at his collarbone, but everything about the way he stays completely frozen for ages says he’s controlled and patient.
Everything except his face, you soon realize.
When your body is finally able to come to terms with the sensation and you blink up at him, Poe isn’t looking at you anymore.  He’s staring directly over your head at the wall, tangible regret manifesting itself in seething frustration marring his expression.  His eyebrows furrow and he scowls but all of it is silent and directed at himself, as if he’s asking why the fuck he actually agreed to do this.  You know then that it must be really fucking wet.  You know then that you must be just blazing hot and tighter than sin and as if in rhythmic agreement, his cock jumps inside you with each pounding rush of blood through it.  You can see the sweat beading at his hairline as he continues to ignore you for the moment, choosing instead to silently lament at the wall like it did something to mortally betray him.
You could… make this a sprint, something devious suddenly whispers to you.  He’s struggling through the pleasure and you can outlast.  From the severity of that look alone, you can put an end to it before it even starts.
Admittedly, you don’t even let the devil finish his damn sentence before you decide to take your own initiative.  You clamp down around him as hard as you can and Poe whips his attention down to you and punches out a curse that sounds like you wrenched the word from his throat before he was anywhere near ready for it.  It comes from somewhere high and defenseless in register and then quickly falls down into a growly pit as his hips automatically lurch forwards the rest of the way inside, hard, smacking into yours as you squeeze wickedly around him.
You keep squeezing through the sudden upward shove of bliss, you keep tightening up even though you’re making agonizing noises and your eyes clamp shut and it hurts.  But stars, it feels good, why does it feel so good when it hurts so bad?  It makes your throat scrape and your face twist up, but you can hear his cursing getting louder and more desperate so you still don’t relax your viselike hold around him.
“Stop it—” he snarls down at you rabidly, “—oh fuck, stop or you’ll make us both cu—”
Shit, he’s right.  You know he’s never been more right about anything as soon as his hips stutter and kick up to a full blown gallop in the middle of his furious scolding, and the sudden build of ecstasy is so fast and intense that you sob his name, not being able to loosen your muscles anymore as soon as it overtakes you.  But it’s like a closed circuit, you’re both recycling the same pleasure without knowing how to shut it off.  The harder you bear down on him, the faster his hips work, the vicious cycle compounding and circling and manifesting in the perfect typhoon within just a few tumultuous seconds.
But then suddenly he rips himself out of you with a gasp and it’s not a moment too soon, because both of you have to scramble and grab onto things to brace yourselves through the worst of it.  You choose the mattress and he chooses the railing, and through the searing discomfort and settling of the chaos that’s becoming more and more familiar to you as this exhausting day passes, you know you fucked up.  You underestimate his self control, time and time again.  But, exactly like earlier today, you feel a thrill skitter up your spine at how he’s going to respond to your brazen treachery in the face of a newly established truce.
“Fuck,” he jerks his head to spit the obscenity at you, sounding more pissed off than you’ve ever heard him, the shredded anger in his voice starting to burn through you.  “Fuckfuckfuuuuck—you make me so mad.  You make me so mad.  I wish I could fuck you right now, on Maker, I’d ruin you.  I’d wreck your shit until you learn and you’d deserve every single fucking second of it, you—”
He stops short and growls jagged sharp in frustration, but you can’t help yourself.
“Say it,” you whimper on a dare, feeling your heart pound.  The words quiver with an inexplicable sort of excitement as you dig your fingers into the mattress, wanting to hear his voice snarl the mysterious profanity.  “Say it.  ‘You…’—what?  Say it.”
Shock suddenly paints his previously tense expression blank, even though his pupils blow out and his chest heaves.  Your voice is too breathless, it’s too needy to sound nearly as antagonistic as you want.  
And then Maker, it’s as if the sheer control he’s clinging to serves to spark his vexation even more.  Mad that you would ask for something so enticing at a moment like this.  Your heart thunders as Poe nearly flashes up close to you and points a threatening finger at you.
“You’re not going to get what you want from me,” he snaps, quiet and furious.  “Not tonight.  I don’t give a shit, I told you I’d slow fuck you and now I’m gonna do it until you act right.”
“You’re an asshole—” you move to lift up onto your elbows, but his hand suddenly plants against your clavicle and shoves you back down flat on the mattress.
“Not even ten minutes after I make you cum and you’ve already got a fucking attitude problem again,” he shoots back, positioning his cock at your entrance with his other hand once more, and Maker you’re drowning between your legs.  His sharp rebuttal and the firm hold on the upper part of your chest makes it that much wetter, knowing you can’t do much more than lift your legs the way you need when he eases his way back inside.  
“P-Poe—” you gasp breathlessly, but it's like he doesn’t hear you.
His expression tenses and he shudders out a low growl.  “Fuck.  Tight little baby.  Rude little baby, just wants everything her way but doesn’t know how to behave herself.”
You have to bite your lip hard to hold back a whine when he’s completely sheathed and his hips connect to yours, and… shit.  You already feel it.  You already feel that simmering starting to take hold deep down once more, that monstrous second orgasm you’ve been fighting now digging its claws into you and licking the base of your spine with fire.  And, as if he can tell, his demeanor instantly changes.
“Uh, oh,” Poe murmurs quietly, equal parts lilting and baiting, slowly dragging his cock out and then starting up the laziest pace you’ve ever experienced with his hand still planted high on your sternum right below your collarbone.  “Can you feel it coming?  Fuck, I can,” he shudders.  “Already.  Fuck, you’re so wet, you’re so wet—wish you had let me eat you out mor—”
“You can’t c—umm,” you hiccup, grasping his wrist and writhing through the building ecstasy, and you don’t know who you’re talking to at this point.  Your other palm slaps at his shoulder with increasing urgency—fuck, he’s been fucking you for barely ten seconds and you’re already struggling to hold everything back.  Only, his hand quickly grabs yours and pins it to the mattress, his face dropping closer as he rolls his hips achingly slow.  You feel his back working with the steady pace, you see his neck flex as his cock drags so thick inside you, and then your gaze starts to lose focus a bit.  It slides up his throat as lazily as he’s augmenting your pleasure, following the contour of his smooth skin until it reaches his face.
And mercy, Poe’s tongue comes out to wet his lips and a dark curl hangs down his forehead, concentrating hard on fucking you steadily without giving into the same creeping euphoria you’re feeling, and you have to turn away and bite back a whimper at the metal railing when the image starts to burn you alive.
“No,” Poe gruffs and his hand slides up a few inches to frame your jaw, twisting until you face him directly once more.  “Right here, you stay right here with me.”
Your eyebrows pull up weakly and your eyes flick across his stunning features, the way he’s so present, so focused and determined while you’re starting to drift.  His skin is so smooth, so golden when his jawline used to be dark, and—
“I—” you choke, starting to lose it, “—I-I…”
“What is it, baby?”  Poe growls, staring down at you with unwavering, intense concentration.  “Tell me.  You gonna cum?”
“I…” you whimper, blinking at him slowly, “I… liked your… b-beard…”
Poe’s eyes, previously hardened and steadfast, suddenly go a bit dumb, a bit dazed.  After a second, his eyebrows lose all strain, his gaze turns warmer and he rolls his hips deeper—
But the swell begins to become the only thing you can comprehend—that and the fact that you should be fighting it.  You should be revolting against it, but now he’s looking so softly down at you and you can’t remember what could possibly be so bad about letting him take away all this ache and desperation again.  Let him continue to take it away, over and over and over until it’s nowhere to be found at all.
And then Poe leans down and kisses you.  And it’s… nothing like you’d expect.
It’s gentle.  It’s tender.  It goes on forever while he rocks into your soaking wet cunt, easing his throbbing cock in and out of you with such a smooth, repetitive motion that sends sparks of ecstasy down your spine at the apex of each thrust.  
You handle it silently.  At first.  You don’t audibly react to any of it, you force your voice to at least keep quiet if you can’t hide the pleasure from your face or body, but then true to fucking form, he has to go and ruin it all.  Poe uses his knees to scoot up just the slightest bit, and then his moan breaks through the absence of the desperate sounds you’ve been holding back as his tongue slowly slides into your mouth.
Your pussy flares, contracting painfully around his cock as it hits a spot that makes your legs shake against his sides.  Your eyes roll back as his soft tongue dips into your mouth and everything just gets tighter, and tighter.  Poe moans again and his hips push a little bit harder into yours on the next thrust, and it’s almost like a domino effect, except that doesn’t do it justice.  It doesn’t topple one by one, it doesn’t take any time at all for the beginning to reach the finish—it’s a house of cards, the whole thing collapses and crashes down in on itself all at once.
You cum.
You lose.  Fair and square.
You make a long, anguished whine into his mouth as you just start spasming, clutching hard at his shoulders and drenching his cock with it, your eyes squeezing shut as you cum so slow and fucking helpless around him.  Oh Maker, it’s fucking devastating, it feels even more destructive and powerful than the first one.  You pull and shove and claw at him equally, mouth slack as Poe tightens his hold and keeps tasting your whimpering cries, fitting his hips snug to yours as he slowly pushes you down through the debilitating ecstasy.  You sob in euphoric defeat and a low, bone-shattering groan of satisfaction rumbles through his chest in response, grinding his cock into you and holding it deep as your pussy convulses.
All those weeks of holding out, just to lose.  You had a freebie, he gave you an orgasm already and it was like a massive dose of spice to your deprived system—all it did was make your body want it more.  Even worse, your orgasm doesn’t immediately inspire one in Poe like a part of you hoped it would, if only so you could reasonably contest the validity of the outcome.  He’s able to ride out every twitch and flex as you shudder your way through it, continuing to lazily slide his tongue into your mouth while it’s held open and slack.  He tastes like you.  He tastes hot and slick and everything about your body feels the same way, damp and unbearably warm from your nape to your elbows to your cunt to the backs of your knees.
You lay there for what feels like a lifetime afterwards, powerless to the way your thighs tremble violently against his hips and letting the tip of his tongue slowly trace the bottom edge of your teeth while he firmly keeps his cock buried inside you.  It pulses thickly and you know he wants to cum, you can feel the tension pulling at his shoulders as he keeps perfectly still.  But then Poe shuffles his arms up until they’re braced around your head, using himself to box you in completely without moving his lips from yours.  His teeth close on your bottom lip as he inches his hard cock out long and aching from your sensitive channel, and then groans and goes back to the same exact dragging pace from before.
Your expression furrows, even as he keeps kissing you and the movement lights up your oversensitive nerves.  Fuck, you want him to speed up, it’s all the more shattering and viseral when he takes his time.  What is he doing?  What is he waiting for?
“Fuck me,” you whine against his lips, demanding a quicker pace.  You don’t know why he isn’t just letting loose on you now, giving into his body’s need to cum.  He’s aching for it, still rock hard inside of you.  “Come on, I already l-lost, just fuck m—”
“Told you before,” Poe whispers back, refusing to speed up.  He keeps his pace dragging and steadfast, no matter how much you work to entice him.  “Never… fuck.  Never gave a fuck about that stupid bet.  Suffer though.”
The complete lack of harshness in his tone sears through your nerve endings even though what he said wasn’t exactly nice.  You never thought hearing him tell you to suck it up could be delivered in a way that inspires so much arousal in you, but then his tongue is in your mouth again as his hips work slow and easy, and your eyes roll back at how… overwhelming it feels.  So intimate.  You’re completely surrounded by him, his forearms propped next to your head and his mouth on yours, and… Maker, there it is again.  Your body is so deprived that it’s already gearing up to go again.  He’s being lazy and you can’t fucking stand how it’s breaking you down.  Gradually, with incredible stamina and a patience you never expected from him.  When you first feel that pull, part of you still wants to pick up the other end and start a tug-of-war with the sensation.  You’ve been fighting for so long that your body almost doesn’t know any different, its automatic reaction is to resist.
A distraction, that’s what you need.  That’s what guys do to stop themselves from cumming too soon, right?  Fuck, think of something, think of…
—Poe, you can't think of anything but Poe.  Fuck.  His cock sinking deep, the way he tastes, how his fingers thread into the damp hair at your crown so you can feel him that much more, how you can hook his biceps with both hands and swirl your tongue around his while he fucks you open.  Your hips roll up with the pace and almost immediately stutter back down again, not sure if you can handle the wicked shot of oversensitivity—but then Poe groans and shifts up until his thighs are under your ass and he can curl you in more, lift your feet a bit more and make you feel smaller.  And—stars, the next thrust in is enough to nearly make you bite him on complete accident, an unexpected sound ripped from your throat as he keeps that specific angle.
Poe keeps going.  He keeps kissing you, keeps rocking into you.  He lets you claw at him, lets you grapple helplessly while his cock shreds molten hot euphoria deep inside you, and then everything tightens up again.
“Ah, fuck,” Poe breaks away and curses a whole few seconds before you descend into mindless chaos once more, garbling out broken syllables with the absense of his mouth keeping yours occupied.  Your voice crescendos and breaks at the same time you do, the pleasure arcing through you over and over and wringing you out repeatedly around his throbbing cock.  Poe’s lips quickly move forward and give your whole cheek an open kiss while your expression crumples with it.  Teeth drag down your skin as he moans hot air across your skin, his hips slowing to a complete stop with an obscenely slick sound.
You throb and clench around him and his lips are suddenly on yours again, his tongue sinking deep and dominating.  Your mouth is slack and all you can do is squeeze him through the bliss, scrape your fingernails down his back and hope it leaves a mark.
Eventually the tremors pass and you’re dead in the aftermath, you don’t have energy.  Your body is starting to acclimate to the slow orgasms and just let them steamroll you flat, fully accepting now that you can cum but still putting everything you have into it like every single one might be your last for a while.  You come back to yourself enough to feel Poe’s cock solid and achingly hard inside you, and your bottom lip is being tugged between his teeth.
And then he eases out and goes back to fucking you.  Same speed, same control.  
Your eyes nearly fucking cross.  “P-Poe—”
He immediately makes a noise of disapproval with his mouth closed, a nuh-uh but kept tight in his throat.  He doesn’t want to hear it, he’s not even letting you finish your thought.
You can’t take it, though, you didn’t think he was capable of this.  This is torturous in an entirely different way, overstimulating and shattering you with every thrust.
So, you think back to the one thing that got him to nearly snap earlier, the one time you really got to see that fire you love playing with.  Only now, you need that fire, you need him to take everything out on you.  Your floor muscles clamp down without warning and squeeze him as tight as possible, squeeze squeeze squeeze until you feel his hips stutter to a halt once more.  Your breath catches—fuck, is this gonna work?—but then Poe breaks away from your lips to drop his head and sink his teeth into your neck.
You nearly squeal at how careless he is about it—an animal that bites you lazily even though it sends sharp agony rocketing through you.  Again, your attempt at sabotage backfires spectacularly as a subsequent flare of pleasure swells up, and oh, that’s what you want, you want him to be mean—
“Please,” you whimper, hooking your ankles behind his back and locking down hard enough to make your toes curl.  Poe groans as you grab a fistful of his hair and tug at the way your skin pinches between his teeth—you know you’re gonna have a bite mark for a few days and it thrills you.  “Fuck, please, Poe—please just fuck me, please, I want you to fuck me until it hurts, fuck me the way we both nee—”
“You and me almost died today,” Poe grits into your neck, cutting off your desperate whimpers with a short growl.  “Maker, it was so close, I don’t think anybody has any f-fucking…”  His hips pull out and then spear deep and you choke, tightening and tightening.  “But—shit, we didn’t, we lived and now—oh fuck, now baby’s finally letting me fuck her and I’m not cutting it short, no matter how pretty she sounds asking.”
His words sound slurred against your neck and you can’t tell if it’s his delivery or your perception that’s lagging.  But when you feel Poe inch his cock out and start to slowly fuck you through the tightness, you let out a weak little whine and feel yourself drifting… somewhere else.  
Things subtly lose their clarity, your eyelashes dip and you stop talking because words won’t come.  You can’t tell if you’re staring at the ceiling or your eyelids or the back of your head, but Poe’s voice abruptly breaking through the silence makes you realize you don’t have a concept for time anymore.  You couldn’t tell him how long you’ve been floating, but you almost don’t understand what he’s saying at all and it takes you a remarkable delay to fully comprehend.  But judging from what he says, it sounds like it hasn’t been long.
“Shit, are you cumming again?”  He suddenly gasps into the crook of your neck and grinds his hips achingly hard into yours,  “O-Oh—fuck yeah, you are—baby’s cumming again—”
“P-Poe?”  You stutter and smack your hand against something, him maybe, not knowing literally anything else.  Not knowing what he’s talking about, not knowing where you are, not knowing your own name, “Poe—oh m-my… God—”
“Whhh—W-What—?”  You hear him breathe a split second before everything compresses down tight, and then it all shoves forward at once.  All of the buildup makes itself known the very moment it becomes too much to control, like a flash flood but the downpour happened miles away.  You think you might actually squeak this time, helplessly cry out like it hurts because stars, it does.  It hurts so fucking good, it spiders pure plasma through your entire body with rhythmic jolts and wipes your mind completely vacant.  Your shoulders shoot you up and knock your chin into something and you think you might be crying?  You don’t know anymore.  Your spine comes back down to the mattress like the damp fitted sheet covering it is made of pure ice—your body is overheated and you keep tensing and jerking back up until Poe forcefully pins you tight against it, growling filth under his breath as he slow fucks you through it.
You feel his hand dropping down between your bodies and you sob pitifully at the ceiling when the tip of his calloused finger brushes your clit.
***
You lose count.
It’s just… constant, there isn’t a point in keeping track anymore even if there happened to be the ability—which, nope.  Not even close.
He ruins you slowly.  Meticulously, with nothing more than steady, unwavering determination.  Every structure you built, he takes apart by hand instead of bulldozing it the way you beg him to when you find the words.  You’re certain you find them—you must find them at some point, but they’re interspaced between babbled gibberish and breathy whispers of his name.
Even though it’s slow—Maker, it’s so slow—you’ve never been so fucking exhausted.  He makes you give him everything and then he drains the reserves, the hidden ones you weren’t even aware existed.  He never goes fast enough; in fact, you think he’s actually slowed down over the unknown amount of time it’s been since you first called out his name and asked for this.  If you were in a frame of mind to notice, you’d probably realize he’s trying harder and harder to not cum, but in your wild headspace, it just feels like a prolonged punishment for you.  It still feels like he’s depriving you for his own pleasure, even though he’s actually depriving himself for yours.  But you always do manage to find some way to read things wrong with him.
Eventually, he begins to waver.  He stops talking so much, stops chastising you when you plead with him.  He hasn’t looked at you since he first kissed you—he’s either hidden his face in your neck or closed his eyes as his soft tongue slides across your bottom lip before dipping inside.
But then there comes a point where even you realize he’s struggling not to let go now, and in your faded traces of sanity, you hear your broken voice cut through the sounds of the soft radio.
“Y-Y-You—” you gasp, trembling under him, “—youneedtocum.  You need to—”
“No,” Poe grits against your chin, sounding shaky and weak no matter how sharp he makes his consonants.  “Fuck, not yet, I—I-I don’t want to yet.”
“Oh no,” you wheeze out, feeling the swell begin again, the familiar flicker of warning you get as his cock slowly rocks into you.  Maker, the pleasure is getting raw and painful even as your pussy is drowning his cock with it, allowing him to glide slow and deep into your sensitive channel and letting the sheer tightness of it be the only resistance your body puts up.  You can feel the wetness on your cheeks though, the tears of frustration gathering as your body prepares itself for yet another wave of attack.  “Oh no, ohhhhhnononononono—”
“I don’t want—” Poe gasps, his hips stuttering just a bit and one of his hands coming down to smack the pillow next to your head as he chokes, “—don’t want this to… e-end yet, I—”
Your next orgasm suddenly slams through you and Poe immediately rips himself out of you before it’s too late.  He shushes you frantically while you sob in distress and writhe side to side through the contractions solo this time, having nothing to clamp down on, not even able to grind up into him because he keeps his leaking cock elevated far beyond your reach.
Oh, that’s it.  That is it.
“Fuck me!”  You wail up at him, water blurring your vision and tears streaming down your cheeks, “Stop fucking around and just fuck me, you asshole!  Fuck me and fuck me hard Dameron or I swear to every fucking star in the sk—”
You don’t get too far.  He’s immediately scrambling over top of you and a strong hand is clamping down tight over your mouth, muffling your high-pitched cries against his palm.  Your legs are shoved apart and one is caught under his arm and wedged back as far as it can go.  His head drops to your neck, and then he snarls a ragged, “Brat—“ under your ear before ramming his cock back inside you.
Stars.  Stars light up, it’s so much—the angle, the force, the speed, the sound his hips make as they start ruthlessly colliding with yours.  Your eyes screw shut and you dig your nails into the meat of his back, but he doesn’t slow down—he speeds up—
“Fuck, you still think that throwing your little fucking fits works on me?”  He hisses, drilling into your g-spot with such blinding hard precision that you can’t do anything more than just claw at his chest, gasping for air that just won’t come into your lungs.  “Huh?  Think you can just be a little bitch to me about it and it’s gonna change anything?  You still don’t have any fucking idea, do you?  Look at me—” he snarls, grabbing your face and shaking it to get you to respond, “—look at what you fucking do to me—”
But you can’t.  You already came countless times and he’s lurching you up the bed with every single rabid thrust into your blindingly sensitive cunt, fucking you into the railing and then the wall behind it.  You still feel his fingers grasping at your jaw, forcing you to address him, to look at him, and you can’t seem to focus your vision on his blurry features even when your eyes flutter open.  You’re too dumb with grinding pleasure to see anything besides blurs and stars, to say literally anything back to him.  But that’s not what he cares about.
“Oh fuck yes, there it is,” his voice whines, pitching up something vulnerable as his hips ram you into the corner hard and unyielding, “fuck, there’s those pretty eyes, that’s what I wanted, baby, that’s all I wanted—th-that’s—fuck, that’s—”
They must cross, or roll back, or something, because suddenly you can’t see him at all anymore.  You don’t know what happens—but you know it’s wet.  You know it bursts forth something fierce and you shriek his name with a hoarse and shredded voice like he steals the last part of your whole fucking soul with it.  Fuck, you’re not even there for most of it, you might actually black out.  
In your conscious moments, you can feel his whole body flexing over and over again on top of you.  He empties his load deep inside you and takes a fucking eternity doing it, so many breathless praises leaving his mouth so quickly that they slur together and you can’t understand any of it even if you could hear him.  All you can do is feel your cunt tighten and convulse in tandem with the throbbing of his cock, rhythmically working the cum out of him until Poe stops stuttering his hips, until he finally trails off into nothing but labored gasps and slumps down on top of you in exhaustion.
You both lay there for a while, dead weight breathing.
You want to hold him, your cum-struck mind quietly provides in the comedown.  You want to feel his body now that you can finally think straight and take a moment to enjoy this blissful relief.  He fucked you so good and you want to touch him, you want to run your fingers through his hair and massage the tight muscles at the base of his neck.
But then you just start giggling.
It’s stupid.  It’s so fucking stupid.  You smack your hand over your mouth but the garbled noise easily floats beyond it, completely elated and having absolutely no explanation at all.
Poe quickly pulls his head back to look at you and you try to twist sideways under him to hide it, but you can’t stop—like a complete loon, you snort and start to laugh harder at the ridiculous sound.  Oh, you don’t just float, you’re the air itself, so light with endorphins that you close your eyes and get lost in the fit until water wets the outside corners.
After a moment, a hand gently grasps your wrist and slowly pulls it down until he can see the way your mouth opens as you giggle, hear it unobstructed and let the sound bubble up at him and fill the room.  And you blink your eyes open just in time to see him slowly break into the most dazzling smile you’ve ever seen him bestow a person.
And… you’ve seen him grin a million times.  He’s almost always smiling, as long as you’re not right in front of him.  He smiles at his squadmates, he smiles at girls, he smiles at complete strangers, and you always thought it was pretty.  Always knew that he could light up a room with it, you always knew he could get anything he wanted with it, but this… this isn’t that kind of smile.  That one is practiced and alluring.  It wasn’t fake, necessarily, but that smile’s purpose always had more to do with making anyone who happens to witness it feel a certain way than it did about signifying his own emotional state.
This one is… goofy.  Amazed, and uncoordinated.  Thunderstruck in a way, except the clouds all part at the same time and let you see a rainbow.  It makes you feel… alive.  Colorful.  Radiant.  Sunshine.  Butterflies.
Poe quickly drops his lips to catch yours and you moan happily, sliding your tongue into his mouth this time.  You both adjust, you arch into him as he pushes your damp hair back and makes a deep noise of satisfaction, letting you explore while he wraps his arms around you and finds a way to make this atrocious position comfortable.  Every part of you is smushed up against him and there’s absolutely no space to be found, and you’ve never been happier.
“We made a mess,” he groans against your lips, rocking his hips into you with a disgustingly slick sound as if to illustrate, and his cock is soft but it’s still so thick that it stays buried inside your sloppy entrance.  “Shit, I—I think I might be bleeding.”
“What?”  You ask breathily, and he heaves himself up with his elbows just enough to reveal his chest.  You both tuck your chins unattractively to look and you don’t immediately see any blood, but your claw marks are clearly red and visible scraping down his pectorals.  “Oh.  Pfft.  You’re fine.”
He drops back down with a huff and your head is tilted at the perfect angle catch on the tiny droplets of blood decorating the marks criss-crossing his shoulder blades.  Oops.
But he’s already kissing up your neck and over the curve of your jaw and making out with you again like he can’t get enough of it, and you forget.  You forget everything.  You forget every disagreement, every gripe with him you’ve ever had.  It’s all wiped away and replaced with giddy, childish adoration.  Resetting completely and starting off on the rightest foot imaginable.
“Let’s go to my bed,” he murmurs, and you make a tight noise of disapproval.  No.  This is good, this is how you want to stay.  The railing is digging into your lower back and he’s heavy but you’re perfect like this, this is perfect.  “Baby,” Poe pants against your lips in exasperation when you quickly clutch the back of his neck and keep him glued to you, “mmph—you got everything all wet—”
This time you make a low hum of agreement and drag your hand down the bare curve of his spine to his ass to give it a squeeze.  A testament to how hard and raw he fucked you.  Poe shudders hard enough for you to feel his body tremble but you just kiss him harder, pulling him down onto you more.
“You’re gonna have to give me, just like—I don’t know, at least an hour or two,” he chuckles, grabbing your hands to make it easier to peel himself from your body and groaning when his cock finally slips out.  “Come on, let’s hang out in my bed.”
You’re so boneless when he pulls you to sit upright, you roll a little bit and Poe has to catch you, and you laugh again.  Maker, you’re a complete mess and absolutely delighted about it.  Your attempts at grumbling and complaining don’t hold any sway when you’re still trying not to giggle, and Poe is able to pull you to the top of the ladder and make his way down first.
As soon as he’s out of sight and calling up to you, you weakly slide into position with a groan and feel yourself leaking at the movement.  “Gah—look what you did.  I’m all… gooey.”
“I know, s’the hottest fucking thing,” he says under his breath from the floor, before beckoning you by tapping on the closest rung a few times.  “Come on, be careful.”
You do as he says, easing your naked body down one step at a time with wobbly legs.  It’s clumsy and you whine the whole way through, wordlessly grousing and mumbling.
“Oh, I just know it,” he comments on the sound, “nice clean sheets, I’ll get the violin.”
Normally, you probably would’ve snarked something back down at him, but you’re still so loopy and shaky-legged that you just start laughing again.  The fact that he’s absolutely right and you’re being ridiculous about something like moving beds suddenly strikes you as incredibly fucking funny for some reason.  You don’t realize his hands are hovering inches away from your hips until your legs buckle and Poe quickly supports your weight.
“Maker,” Poe chuckles before giving you a firm yank, and then catching you before you can tumble down the ladder in your naked, teary-eyed mania, “let’s go, giggles.”
He carries you a few steps to the mattress and plops you down on top of the comforter, letting you take up the whole bed while he sits on the end and puts your feet on his lap.  Poe grimaces for a second and then shuffles until the radio is pulled out from under him, and you can hear the soft sound of it playing once again.  You bury your face into his pillow, inhaling the warm scent lingering there while he tosses it carelessly to the side and rubs your shins for a little bit, watching you stretch out naked on his mattress.  
“I’m not giving you two weeks of pay,” you suddenly grunt, and he just grins down at you, not arguing.  Not saying anything.  Sitting in comfortable silence with you when you’re expecting him to bicker.  So you stay like that for a long time, breathing deep and relaxing, until Poe’s hands leave you for a second…
… to pull a bag of chips out.
Maker, at the first squeaky sound of the wrapping assaulting your eardrums, you want to roll your eyes.  You want to tease him about how fucking typical it is.  Like clockwork, you could probably set your watch to his middle of the night cravings.  You don’t know why you thought fucking him would change any of that.
You want to give him shit for it.  You even open your mouth, the snark on the very tip of your tongue.  But then your stomach growls as soon as he rips the thin plastic apart.
Poe’s eyes shoot to yours and neither one of you move, but apparently your tummy doesn’t get the memo.  It takes forever to trail off into silence again, and he blinks.  Fuck, you know you should’ve forced yourself to eat at least something earlier.  Warmth floods your cheeks and you scramble for something to say, but there’s no way to play it off.
“Would you like some chips?”  Poe suddenly asks with a boyish grin, raising his eyebrows and tipping the open bag freely in your direction.
The corners of your mouth pull downwards even as the inside of it waters.  You wouldn’t call it stubbornness necessarily as much as it is a… a desire to stick to consistency.  After the unbelievably hard time you always give him about midnight snacking, you’re hesitant to partake.
Though, the chips rustle against each other and sound absolutely fucking delicious as Poe shakes the bag and bounces his eyebrows, and you know what?  Fuck it.
You snatch it without thinking, cradling the precious food to your chest as you dig your whole hand in and shove a bunch into your mouth at once.  You catch him smiling again, but he doesn’t comment.
You both take turns, and by take turns you obviously mean you take turns stealing the bag from each other instead of just setting it equidistant between you and openly agreeing to share it, but it works for you.  It seems appropriate.  And then it’s quiet again, just munching and crinkling, except for the radio continuing to play from its place in his lap.  You have to work to listen over the loud crunching vibrating through your skull, but when you finally manage to stop chewing and catch a few bars, you suddenly find yourself trying not to smile again.  Fuck, it’s been years since you’ve heard this song, you love this s—
“Fuck, I love this song,” Poe promptly exclaims with his mouth full, licking the tips of his fingers before scrambling to pick the radio up and twist the volume knob without using his wet fingertips.  He starts humming over the melody, loud enough to almost drown it out completely, because of course he does.  The one damn time you actually want to listen to his radio and he still finds some way to mildly irritate you.
But this irritation is almost… fun.  You want to laugh just as much as you want to yell at him.
“Hey, who sings this song?”  You immediately ask over the sound of him clearly not knowing the lyrics, already ready with it.  Oh, the round is in the chamber, your finger is on the trigger, you are ready, and Poe’s eyes sparkle as he seems to stop and think about it.
“Mm, not sure,” he eventually shrugs, just before you rush, “Let’s keep it that—”
And then he’s slapping a hand on your leg and belting out the chorus while you scoff, giggling.  He ruined the punchline on purpose and is now getting chip dust all over you, but you know any complaint you make will be drowned out by his suspended notes and backing track, so you just roll your eyes and swipe the bag of chips from him while he continues to serenade you.
“My ears are bleeding,” you mutter under your breath.
He has a nice voice, you think.
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on-a-lucky-tide · 2 years
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Upon review, Stede could, perhaps, admit that giving up his entire fortune and rowing out into the middle of the ocean hadn’t been the soundest of plans. After dragging the small dinghy through the surf, he had clambered in and seized the oars with all the indefatigability of a man with an end goal, and a clearly mapped trajectory. If Lucius had been here, he thought ruefully, he would have asked him to make a note in his new journal: always have a plan.
In his defence, there had been something of a plan, but the pieces hadn’t been where he had expected them to be. The Revenge was meant to be here. Wherever here was, with Ed sat astride a yardarm, perhaps puffing on a pipe and commenting on the size and shape of a particular cloud cluster. But it wasn’t. It was gone. And instead of his ship, stocked with all of his niceties and his… well, his lover (oh, how he would have to get used to such a word, it rolled off the tongue, tasted sweet like sugar cane), he had found the remains of his crew, stranded and starving, on a tiny scrap of land.
It had rather knocked the wind from his sails, this whole stranding business. Not that there was any wind to fill any kind of sail, proverbial or otherwise; the ocean was as calm and empty as his damned head. Once filled with all these fanciful notions of swooping on board the Revenge and taking Edward in his arms, like some kind of returning hero, he now stared into the still Caribe’ waters in hopes they may yield inspiration. But he was just as stranded and lost now as he had always been.
Ed had provided the compass, the gusto, the know how that had guided Stede around the oceans (and, now that Stede was fully able and capable to admit it, the choppy waters of his own heart), and without him, Stede languished in the liminal space of indecision. Floating like so much driftwood. Stede sat at the very back of the boat (aft, he corrected himself; he really had to start using the correct lingo if he was going to make a go of all this), with his knees tucked against his chest, as the rest of the crew argued about their next destination.
“We should go to Nassau,” Buttons proclaimed, lips pulling wide around the vowels as wide eyes turned westward. Stede couldn’t very well tell whether it was the correct direction. He hadn’t seen fit to bring a compass with him, let alone a map of any description. “There’s no tellin’ where the Revenge has swam off t’. T’d be a fool’s errand to chase after her now.”
“I vote we follow the Revenge. She can’t have got far, and—you know, it was probably a mistake. Maybe Jizzy Izzy forgot to mention we were out here,” Black Pete said, his palm smearing the last of the white powder from his forehead. The majority had run down his neck into the collar of his tunic, which now lay crumpled in the bottom of the boat. One of my autumn numbers, far too warm for this time of year, Stede thought idly.
“It wasn’t a mistake.” Oluwande stared at the horizon, his shoulders pulled down in defeat. “He kept those he thought were useful and dumped the rest. We were marooned.”
From there, their voices reached a crescendo. Roach took great umbrage at the concept that he would be considered less useful than Frenchie, who, by all accounts, spent most of his time strumming on his guitar and kicking his legs over the taffrail, while Pete was quick to remind everyone that he had been part of Blackbeard’s crew before and proven his worth a thousand times over. Only Buttons failed to fight his corner, which was odd given that, by Stede’s inexperienced opinion, his idea was probably the soundest. He was staring at a point over Stede’s shoulder, his characteristically wide eyes somehow bigger than ever before.
Stede lifted his chin and twisted to follow Buttons’ stare to the horizon. Even with his own somewhat limited visual range, Stede could pick out the sails and gleaming hull of a sloop against the open blue skies and a knot twisted in his throat. “Well, it looks like we’re to be rescued after all!” He turned back to the rest of his ramshackle crew, but the wide smile he had forced into place quickly faded. They were all following Buttons’ gaze now, and what they saw had put the fear of god in them. “A familiar flag, is it?”
“Aye, cap’n, familiar be a word for it,” Buttons said darkly. “Hornigold.”
“Oh.” Stede frowned, recalling the rather unpleasant breakfast spent with Calico Jack as he told stories of beatings and infernos. “Oh dear.”
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Never Break The Chain.
Stede sets off in search of Ed after dying for the third time. He hopes to find his lover quickly and start their life together, expecting to discover the Revenge waiting for him, along with his entire crew and all his niceties. But Stede soon realises that his hasty and unscheduled departure has done far more damage than he could ever comprehend. He has a lot more work to do if he is ever to reconcile Stede's Ed with The Kraken which now rampages across the oceans. Stede's search for his sea-faring soulmate leads him on a long path of self-discovery, with plenty of hijinks, heists and pirate-y (mis)adventures along the way.
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tteokdoroki · 4 years
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what he lost | k.bakugou.
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⇝ pairing: katsuki bakugou x fem!reader.
⇝ word count: 5.4K
⇝ rating: for everyone.
⇝ genre: pro hero!au, exes!au, angst.
⇝ summary: back then; he was young, dumb and a little too prideful, taking your love for granted. now, years down the line he wonders if he’ll ever stand a chance in getting you back or the one in which katsuki bakugou grew up a little too late.
⇝ warning(s): please read ! heavy angst, no happy ending, mentions of toxic relationships, emotional distress, mentions of violence ( explosions, fight scenes, knives, blood ) and cursing all around.
⇝ author’s note(s): greetings everyone!! i hope you’re all doing well, today’s one-shot is a request from @killakatsuki​​, i know you wanted a happy ending but i got a little ahead of myself eee !! anyways thank you all for 400+ followers, i love you all :(
⇝ masterlist | requests
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“katsuki bakugou if you leave me right now, please... please don’t come back.”
bakugou had always hated that, he thought, casting his gaze elsewhere in the room. he always hated how you cried when you were angry, red hot tears stinging a pathway down the apples of your usually glowing cheeks.
he couldn’t quite place the reasoning as to why. maybe it was because you rarely ever found yourself angry or perhaps it was how pathetic you looked when your bottom lip wobbled and your harsh words were laced with watery sobs.
or maybe it was because he didn’t want to feel sorry for you, didn’t want to comfort you when he was too prideful to admit that you were right. “whatever, don’t tell me what the fuck to do.” he spits, eyes and voice full of a venom he barely ever uses against you. he watches with a scarlet gaze as you falter, as if a knife has dug deep into your heart and cut you all up but bakugou only scoffs and continues to pack his side kick costume into the duffle bag he’s got on your shared bed.
every fibre of his being is tell him to reach out for you and apologise, he knows that he’s wrong. keeping his late night shifts from you, working extra hours— of course you were going to worry but he needed you to understand that being a hero was his dream above all else. the last thing he needed was a distraction like you.
something in you changed that night, both of you. as the rain hit hard on the roof of your shared apartment, even as you took his things and threw them out into the hall and even as you gave him one last chance on the doorstep. “you can leave now and not comeback or you can stay and we’ll talk this through—“ your eyes spoke to him in a silent plead, asking him if he would really give up the life that you’d built for lies and a better job?
but you knew the answer already.
“like i said,” katsuki rolled his eyes as knowing sobs wracked your body. “i never needed you anyways.”
you slammed the door before he could walk away and forget the tears in your eyes.
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six years later and katsuki is pissed.
he’d been irritable since this morning when his interns fucked up the paperwork at his agency— leaving him to clean it up and then when his assistant brought him the wrong coffee and forgot to notify him of the pro hero meeting he was currently attending right at this very minute.
of course heroes of all different calibers were present; including none other than the number two, shoto todoroki, who was in charge of directing this week’s patrol missions but something about that only grinds the explosive pro’s gears even more. although, he could see himself being even more pissed if the number one; deku had shown his face instead of being away on an overseas mission. the schedule for this week’s patrol sits heavily in bakugou’s hand and he almost wants to burn it to pieces just at the thought of working with his future partner.
‘yn ln.’
the sight of your name printed in block capitals next to his has the ash blonde reeling, glancing up to send a blazing scowl towards shoto. he feels set up, as if the half hot, half cold bastard is dangling you right in front of him— its not like todoroki doesn’t know the history that sits between bakugou and yourself, after all,  he had been the friend you’d ran off to during the fight that ended your five year relationship.
it’s like todoroki had a sixth sense because by the time he’d finish announcing the pair ups, he’d tiredly caught wind of katsuki’s heated stare. “bakugou—“
“i wanna fuckin’ switch, icyhot.”
“you can’t.”
bakugou stands from his seat next to kirishima ( who only looks apologetically at his colleagues ), annoyance rippling through his veins as he approaches the taller male. “why the fuck not?” he growls, small explosions sparking in the palms of his sweaty hands ( he was undeniably nervous because of the impending patrol ) the group of heroes simultaneously sigh— having been used to the explosive pro’s usual outbursts.
todoroki sighs, running his cooler hand over his face. “because the pairs have been matched up by quirk and strength, on top of that they were done in advance so if you really have a problem with it then i suggest you take it up with the number one—“ the dual quirked hero falls silent, a triumphant smirk appearing on his lips as red riot pulls his friend away before it’s too late.
“dude, you can’t just go blowing people up!” the red head scolds beneath bakugou’s sailor mouth, wrestling him over to the couch.
katsuki feels defeated, there’s no way to get out of this situation. he’s done his best these last few years to avoid you like the plague. it was somewhat easy, considering you were lower in the ranks compared to him, so there wasn’t much time to interact anyway. but katsuki hated the fact that he had always thought you would fall below him.
nonetheless; he took to switching event time tables around, rejecting hang outs with his old high school friends... all to avoid you, and now that he had to see you face to face, he wasn’t sure how to react. would you still hate him? how did you feel about working with him?
there’s not much time to dwell on the thought for kirishima is already patting his back and guiding him out of the meeting as it ends, the promise of drinks at an ‘heroes only bar’ hanging in the air.
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“you’re so handsome, ground zero ! thank you for protecting japan !”
bakugou can feel the bile rising in the back of his throat at the words from the sickly sweet fan, so he gives a nonchalant grunt in response as he finishes up his signature on her notebook before continuing his march to your hero agency. it’s been a few days since the meeting between the pro heroes and all the number three wants is to make it to your agency without being fawned over by more obsessive fans.
he gives the fan a casual wave, ignoring the look of disappointment on her face— either she was expecting his number or for him to grow bashful under her flurry of compliments but katsuki was never one for fan service.
he hated fans that expected something from him, ones who wanted more than a casual chat with their favourite pro hero but he wouldn’t let them in. they didn’t want the intimate, vulnerable sides of katsuki bakugou like you had— maybe that made the ash blonde stuck on you.
yn ln was the only girl in his life who had tried to understand the many layers of the hot headed hero, you saw past his aggressive nature and touched the deepest parts of his soul…parts that you longed to love and keep safe.
you’d loved him for who he was below the surface, not for the money and fame he had come to amass as number three in the ranks.
behind scarlet eyes are the best moments of the hero’s life, each shared with you. katsuki had took for granted the seconds you had been with him, even from the very start— he didn’t care for the way that you held him after he’d been kidnapped, clinging onto him like he’d disappear or would never return to your arms, he should have cherished the tears of worry you shed for him too but katsuki was too prideful at the time.
too full of himself even with his raging nightmares that you had managed to soothe.  
you’d comforted him after he’d failed the licensing exams, promised him he’d still get to be the greatest hero of all time and still, bakugou had cared for none of this. now that he’d thought about it, he hadn’t been good to you, he didn’t know how you’d dealt with they way he undermined your quirk and doubted your ability to protect him when he should have been the one to protect you.
your love was wasted on him, and for that bakugou needed to apologise.
hands in his pockets, katsuki’s mind could have been said to be away with the fairies, haunted by the night he came home with a half hearted apology on his lips to an empty apartment and a note from you. something about staying with the icyhot bastard and not to contact you.
that is until he collided with the back of someone in the crowd. “hey!” he’s quick to growl out to the figure, a slight snarl to the words leaving his mouth. “watch where you’re going, shitty extra—“
“ah, katsuki! nice to see you haven’t changed,” your voice sends shivers down the blonde’s spine, bright red eyes focusing on you and only you. your smile is bright, dazzling under the hot japan sun and even if katsuki hadn’t changed, you certainly had— your pretty eyes he used to get lost in, he used to watch glimmer with tears now hold a different kind of light, they greyish hue that dulled you over your time with him had finally cleared.
you looked healthy, happier and bakugou realises how much your relationship must’ve wore you down.
he feels like he doesn’t deserve the grin that you give him; the one you would save just for him in the early mornings you’d spent together back when you were dating. maybe that makes his heart jumps out of his chest.
“y-yn— “
he hadn’t prepared himself for your sweet, airy giggle that fills the space between you. “ground zero getting shy on me now? don’t tell me you forgot about our shift today, did’ya?”
“n-no, ‘course not, dumbass.” fuck, katsuki’s heart thumps against his ribcage so loud that he’s afraid you might hear it with the little distance between you. since when did you make him nervous? despite the pet name, you still give him a laugh as a flicker of fondness twinges in your bright eyes.
it’s quickly replaced when you blink it away, beckoning ground zero into your hero offices. “nice to see that sailor’s mouth hasn’t changed either ,” you mumble more so to yourself than him. bakugou walks a few paces behind you while you explain to him that you have to finish assigning your sidekicks and interns a few low level missions before you can head off for the day.
the group of young heroes are excitable, seemingly loving the opportunity to work with you— their chatter is loud but it gives katsuki time to drink you in.
crimson eyes travel over your form while you talk— your hero costume has changed a lot since your U.A and sidekick days.
you’d interned under the number two at the time, hawks, thus leading you to have become one of his most trusted sidekicks. no doubt; his skill level had not only  improved your abilities, how you controlled your quirk but your costume as well.
your quirk was known as lullaby, if you could sing a tune in the right pitch to certain groups of people, it allowed you control over the abilities and to put them to sleep. this obviously however meant you were poor at short distance attacks— something bakugou always teased you for, so he was excited to see how you’d improved.
your suit had a visor that allowed you to amplify your quirk, while patterns of the night sky dressed your body— paying homage to your hero name ‘nightsky’.
katsuki felt bad to imprinting the image of your skin tight, midnight blue suit into his mind but back when he had known you like you were his, your costume hadn’t been nearly as advanced as this.
snapping fingers pull him from his thoughts before they can get too hazy.
“eyes are up here, explosion boy.”
katsuki’s gaze snaps up to meet yours, an angry red to rival his gemstone eyes spreading like wildfire across his cheeks. “i wasn’t staring.” he tries his best to defend himself, but your knowing look tells him that you’ve caught him red handed.
“of course you weren’t, sidekicks left about ten minutes ago so we can head out  now—unless you want to keep glaring daggers at my boobs, katsu.” you’re teasing him, voice dripping like honey off of a spoon as you waltz back out onto the streets of japan and leave a bewildered ground zero behind you.
you’ve changed so much since your relationship ended with bakugou, you’re stronger, a vixen and more confident in yourself.
and he hates knowing that he’s the one that kept you down all this time.
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patrol remains uneventful even as the afternoon goes on and the stress of japan begin to fill with citizens for the oncoming rush hour.
the lack of action has lead your conversation to die within the wind and leaves katsuki alone with his thoughts for the time being— you only really speak when you catch the blonde staring you down or when he accidentally walks into something ( highly unusual for him ) but he enjoys the seconds where your teasing voice tickles the tips of his ears and you smile so wide his own lips pull into somewhat of a grin.
bakugou doesn’t know why he’s so quiet, not when the storm in his mind brews all the words he should have said to you years ago. the apologies, the grateful thanks that you deserved; none of these could fall from his tongue.
he liked to say he never had the opportunity, which was partly true you were both up and coming herores yes, but you had damn well made sure you’d never have to encounter bakugou unless the situation required it. and it seemed, that years down the line, he was still doing the same.
the thought alone cause nerves to choke him from the inside out, building up in his throat until all he can do is grunt in frustration—  kicking an empty can along the road you’re currently walking down.
“that’s unlike you,” your chuckle cuts through the thick fog of katsuki’s mind, drawing deep red eyes towards your frame. you walk in front of him now, arms folded behind your head while you step backwards— the sight almost comical to anyone passing by. bakugou must look just as shocked because some how he manages to pull the cutest snort from you, even as his face morphs into a snarl and he marches forward to fall into pace with your steps. your eyes dazzle with your next words. “the great katsuki bakugou, quiet? never thought i’d see the day.”
you’ve always been able to read him like an open book, seeing right through the front he puts on. “i haven’t changed.” he grunts through his teeth.
katsuki stops walking when you do, now standing a breaths width away from you. electricity jumps between you both, static forming in the finger tips that just barely brush against bakugou’s arm.
your eyes spell it out for him, clear as day, as you finally reach out to touch him. His own close at the brief gesture, the pain from having lost you blooming across his chest.
“you did.” you breathe out,  the warmth of your soft voice making katsuki’s eyes screw shut.
he could never get a lie past you.
“we both did.”
vermillion eyes open, trying to seek you out in the light of the day as bakugou wills and prays that he can say what he needs to right now, to get you back but he doesn’t have the chance as an explosion cuts through the building on your left.
bakugou manages to wrap his arms around you, shielding you from the blast before you hit the ground. the impulse sends you  both rolling down the street, small grunts escaping you until you roll to a halt and end up on top of katsuki— straddling him.
dust and debris surrounds the pair of you, creating a thick smog in the air as sirens and screams sound off in the distance. the explosive hero groans in pain— no doubt with a litter of bruises forming under his suit but he has no time to register the sting properly before he’s noticing you on top of him, smirk on your face, devilish glint to your eye.
you’ve been waiting for some action all day.
you’re gone in the blink of an eye, so you must have a plan. katsuki remembers from high school that you made up for strategy where you once lacked in strength, so it’s no surprise to him that you’re already on the move. meanwhile; you manage to slide undetected through the smoke, moving fast to take out the low level criminals.
it’s only a robbery, but the explosion could have caused more casualties than you would have liked. you trust that bakugou can take care of the civilians and bring them out of harms way as you do your best o sus out the ringleader.
the grey tinted fog that sweeps over the area allows you both to work quickly; neither of you need to say anything, for one it would give away your position and secondly— there’s an underlying trust in one another that the two of you had built up when you worked together while dating.
bakugou, through his end, tackles down the small group of criminals after clearing the area and making sure no one was hurt. emergency services had been alerted and were already on their way, all there was now, was to predict your next movements and follow your lead. he’d never liked being bossed about, but the look in your eye made him believe you knew what you were doing.
you were right, you’d both changed. you might as well have been a better hero than him.
the ash blonde follows the trail of unconscious wannabe villains to your whereabouts, he only knows that they’re unconscious because of your ability to put people to sleep with your quirk— all you had to do was get close to them, which wouldn’t have been hard as katsuki knew first hand that these guys’ quirks weren’t shit.
“it’s almost funny, how you thought you could pull a stunt like this on a day when all of japan’s biggest heroes are in one place,” bakugou’s ears pick up on you teasing the criminal leader with that smooth chocolate voice and he follows it deeper into the air that’s heavy with debris— glad you were able to find him before the smoke cleared. “even with the number one out of town, tsk, you should have known better…”
the hot headed pro spots you, holding the hooded ringleader in a choke hold with only your thighs as you sit on his shoulders— eyes wide with victory.
he recognises the dip in your voice as you adjust your tone to put the guy to sleep and call it a day. you’re powerful, a great pro and bakugou watches with awe while you get ready to take this guy down once and for all.
“so cocky, nightsky— why do you think we chose attack the street you were on?” the guy spits through clenched teeth, resisting the urge to succumb to your lullaby of a voice.
brows furrowing, you decide not to dwell on the criminal’s words before leaning down to whisper. “sleep...” but katsuki’s body comes alive with fear as the villain wannabe jams a blade into your thigh, causing your grip on him to loosen enough for him to throw you to the floor and put a boot to your throat. “oh miss nightsky, you really rely too much on your quirk and not enough on your senses. hmm, i think it’s time we say goodnight, don’t you?” the guy chuckles while you squirm under his foot— the need for air burning sharply at your lungs.
bakugou, who’s remained hidden this entire time feels himself snap— a heavy explosion loading up behind his gauntlets while he launches himself right into the scene. he won’t let you struggle for your life, not on his watch. “GET YOUR FILTHY FUCKIN’ HANDS OFF OF HER!”
he reaches the criminal just before your eyes roll back into your head, an explosive right hook colliding with their cheek and sending them flying down the street.
the ash blonde reaches down to pull you up into his chest, that very same one heaving with laboured breaths; you’re shaking but it’s nothing you can’t handle even with the red lines at your throat.
“you good?”
“better, thanks to you.”
there’s a look that you wear right now, one that katsuki recognises from years of training and running into fights with you— you want to do the move. he nods at you, vermillion eyes lighting up with a bright fire while you grip onto ground zero’s wrists.
just as the villain stands, you kick your feet off the ground and in the meantime bakugou begins to twirl you in circular motions until you’ve built up enough momentum for him to throw you towards the criminal.
you collide with his back foot first, knocking him to the ground as your eyes glow a bright white. “i said, go the fuck to sleep.”
the criminal drops to sleep and you roll to the ground after taking him out. you smile to yourself at the familiar wail of sirens in the background but don’t bother to make an effort to stand up, letting the exhaustion, pain from the wound in your thigh and bruises at your neck finally flood your body.
sitting beside you, bakugou smirks and holds a fist out to you. “still got it,” he gestures between the pair of you, the same signature move you’ve been doing since high school having worked successfully once again.
“still got it.” you look up to the now clear sky, fist bumping bakugou right back.
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he’s going to do it, he thinks, he’s going to apologise.
after everything you and bakugou had been through, something in his chest was relieved to know that you didn’t hate him, something in him is lead to believe that you’re going to give him another chance.
katsuki watches you now, an attendant from the paramedics that you called working on patching up the gash in your thigh while you rub a salve into your neck.
despite the pain you must be in; you’re still glowing, still smiling even when fans ask you for autographs or tell you how brave you were during the fight. you’re so genuine, such a ray of sunshine in the world and bakugou can feel himself falling for you all over again.
“Is that all mr. ground zero, sir?” an officer asks, taking down notes for the report about the incident. the hero nods, waving the kid off after giving them all of the details from today. they thank him and he finds himself marching over to you almost immediately, now that you’re all bandaged up.
“walking already, ln? are you sure it doesn’t hurt?”
you beam up at the ash blonde, hopping out of the back of the ambulance and rubbing at the tear in your hero costume where the cut is. “it’s good, stings a little but i’ve seen worse on you,” you comment to him, beginning your stride back to your agency.
“and who’s fault is that, dumbass?” a genuine laughter bubbles in bakugou’s throat, albeit raspy, its not a foreign sound to your ears and it makes you laugh along with him.
he knows you’re referencing the many times you’d kicked hiss ass when sparring from high school to your side kick days. back then you‘d have traced every scar that littered his pretty body and told him how much you loved him.
katsuki aids you while you head back to the nightsky agency, you insist that you don’t need help to walk but you’re limping and the explosive pro hero is stubborn as hell— he’s not about to let you get hurt again, even if its physically and not mentally like he had done to you before.
with the lighter mood, memories flitter between you both— you mention how katsuki used to love his food so spicy you would cry and he brings up the time you had given him and kirishima a bout of food poisoning when you’d come up with an alternative to the latter’s cooking. the stories don’t seem to end even as you lean into him more; trusting him again.
“about what i said earlier…” you begin after finally coming to a halt outside your agency building, a scarlet gaze full of fondness lands on you. you turn to face him with the softest of smiles, half chewing on your bottom lip— something he knew you did when you were nervous. “you’re different, to how…how you were back then and it’s good, katsuki you’re so good…”
there’s a breath of silence, only filled by the quiet hum of city traffic where people are travelling to and from home. “i’m glad i had time to become good,” bakugou offers, forgoing the words ‘for you’ and pausing instead. “i regret who i was back then, with you… thought it made you hate me and that you wouldn’t fuckin’ work with me today.”
you shake your head, breaking contact with bakugou to paw at the stupid tears preparing to make their way down your cheeks. “i-i did hate you for a while, after everything…but we were young and dumb and—“ you freeze as the ash blonde wipes a stray tear from your cheek, you not having realised that it’d escaped. “and i’m so thankful to have met you, to have shared a love with you, you taught me so much and that i could never hate you for.”
“yn...i—“ i love you. i’m sorry. i should have loved you better. the words are there, the ones that katsuki always told himself he would say to you if he had the chance but he finds himself frozen and unable to speak. why? why now? when the perfect chance sat right in front of him, the perfect time for him to make it up to you.
to start over.
“yes, katsuki?”
to get you back.
“yn i’m sorry—“
“—guess who?”
a sing song voice full of positivity bursts through the moment while a pair of hands clasp their way over your pretty eyes and hide them away from the world.
bakugou instantly recognises the voice as belonging to none other than his childhood rival and number one pro hero, deku. he seems to have changed— grown taller, green hair shaved at the sides for an undercut.
the ash blonde isn’t very sure what else has changed, but then again they hadn’t seen much of each other as sidekicks, working under different agencies with different missions.
it was only as they started competing for the top ranks that they started to run the same circles— but bakugou had no idea how you would’ve come to know deku since the blonde hated him and you were dating each other for most of that time.
katsuki is just about to tell the green haired idiot to ‘fuck the fuck off’ for ruining his moment when you do the unexpected.
you clasp your hands over midoriya’s, cheeky smile gracing your lips as you attempt to pull them away from your face. “let me think, could it be? izuku midoriya?” relenting to your cheery voice— deku pulls away from you, hands falling to grip your waist sweetly. possesively. horror flashes behind bakugou’s raging red eyes. you turn in his rival’s strong arms, smiling so hard that it delves deep into the apples of your cheeks. “izu ! when did you get back? i thought you wouldn’t make it in time for today…”
“flew in this morning doll, i wanted to surprise you—“ the number one beams down at you and bakugou’s world crumbles when you cut him off while pressing a chaste kiss to deku’s lips right in front of his eyes.
this couldn’t be happening...since when were you and the damn nerd a thing? why didn’t he realise? why didn’t he grow up and try and get you back sooner?
he has no choice but to sit and stare, a dark cloud now sitting over his shattered heart.
all the while, you’re giggling into deku’s lips, fumbling over his hands that pinch at your sides just to get you to gasp enough for him to kiss you more.  the painful ( well, only for the explosive pro ) lip lock ends when you both come up for air and your eyes land on your ex boyfriend.
“ah, katsuki ! you remember deku right? wait that’s a dumb question you were literally childhood friends—“ you start to ramble, mind getting away from you and katsuki barely registers anything that leaves your lips. his crimson eyes lock with the emerald ones that stare right back at him and hurt swells in his chest.
to deku, he must look like a kicked puppy. a weakling. a loser.
all the things he had labelled izuku midoriya when they were kids.
when bakugou tunes back into your excited rambling, his heart cracks even more in his chest. “this green giant flew all the way in from overseas to come home for wedding planning ! can you believe it?”  the answer to your question is an obvious no.
he had no idea that you had been seeing the number one, let alone being engaged to him. the hot headed hero freezes in his spot when you reach down the chest of your hero costume to pull out a silver necklace.
on the end of it, an engagement ring with a tiny emerald in it’s centre.
katsuki bakugou feels sick, bile rising up in his throat. he’d really lost you. really. “...pretty thing that is, congratulations.” he mentions blankly, eyes trained on midoriya once again. you don’t notice, but deku does and bakugou hates the sympathetic, apologetic look that the fucking nerd gives him.
“mhm ! izu put it on a necklace for me because, well you know, i’m clumsy and didn’t want to lose the thing,”
you’re so clueless that it hurts, burning katsuki from the inside out. that should be him. it should be his arms around you, his lips on yours, his engagement ring on that fucking necklace. not deku’s, not anyone’s. the green headed hero beside you seems to notice the distress ebbing away at your ex and tilts your head up to look at him. “doll, why don’t you head inside and change into something more comfy real quick? we’ve got cake tasting in an hour…”
the tail end of deku’s words are drowned out by your happily animated squeal and with a quick nod you press a kiss to his freckled cheek and bounce inside— missing the way bakugou winces at your display of affection.
it’s quiet despite the bustling sounds of the city but neither if them know what to say, even as the minutes pass.
bakugou knows that you’d be better off with deku, he would treat you right and give you the love that you deserved all along. but that didn’t make it any less painful.
“kacchan, look...“ the number one says eventually, green eyes swirling with guilt. “i’m sorry—“
the blonde shakes his head, spitting his words out through gritted teeth. “don’t...just,” fuck, it hurts to breathe. “just…take care of her for me, you got that deku?”
“yeah, of course…”
the pair of childhood rivals don’t have much time to speak after that, for you’re already bounding out of your agency wearing a comfortable mint green summer dress and pair of red sneakers to rival deku’s, despite the thick bandage to your thigh.
“ready to go?” you ask your fiancé, face as warm and as bright as it had once been when you used to look at bakugou. izuku nods, delight dancing in his eyes despite the nervous chew to his bottom lip, before letting you turn to your ex lover. “great ! well, see you around kasuki, don’t be a stranger ! we’ve got to catch up again sometime, alright?”
you link arms with izuku midoriya, your fiancé, after that—walking away and  leaving ground zero in the dust.
he doesn’t know how long he stands there for, heart in his hands even while he comes to the realisation that you hadn’t gone to todoroki that night when you’d left. no, you’d only told him that so it hurt a little less when he found out midoriya had been the one to look after you. you’d lied because you’d loved him.
you lie because you love him.
and it was only now that katsuki bakugou had realised what he’d lost.
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aetheternity · 3 years
Text
Can I have your number?
Synopsis: Armin’s always being asked by shy pretty girls for Eren’s number at parties to the point where when you ask for his number he doesn’t know how to respond. (Italicized words are Armin’s thoughts.)
“Why me?” Armin shrugs his cotton blue hoodie off his shoulders. Fingers grazing over the zipper in earnest contemplation. “Why don’t they ever just go right to him?” 
“I’m sorry to be the one to break this to you, Armin.” Connie begins, finger tracing over the rim of his partially empty glass. “Well actually I’m not. You’re the approachable friend because Eren is so tall and sexy; and you’re puppy cute.” 
“Puppy cute.” Armin spits, eyes uncharacteristically narrowing. 
Sasha plucks the glass from Connie’s hand, “That’s enough outta you.” She huffs pulling the drink far from Connie’s reach. “Sorry Armin, it’s just cause he’s drunk.” 
“But he isn’t wrong.” He replies, Sasha sighs transitioning Connie’s glass to her free hand. She tilts her head apologetically. “He isn’t wrong.” Armin repeats, rolling his eyes. 
Just as he reaches for the glass he can’t stop nursing tonight; a tap on his shoulder stops him. “Hey um..” The girl in front of him is the same as the rest. Gorgeous. Small build fitted out in a white crop top and blue skirt like she was meant to perfectly match with Armin. Her hair was short barely making it to the nape of her neck. She shifted her weight back and forth as she looked up at Armin with pinked cheeks. 
“I really hate to bother you with this..” Then don’t. “Uh..” She steps back so Armin can look out at all the loud party goers and their raucous chatter. “You’re friends with him right?” 
Through the sea of people she manages to point right at Jean. His black vest over a brown tee shirt surprisingly easy to pinpoint as he chatted away with a couple of other guys. His black fingers nails lightly tapping the edges of his glass as he laughed away without a care in the world. Loose hairs of his mullet pulled back with two black hair pins while the rest of his hair was perfectly gelled. 
“Yeah.” Armin replied with a small roll of his eyes. 
“Do you think maybe.. I can have his number?” 
Armin suppresses the urge to snort. “Do you have a pen?” He asks
Sasha ends up being the one that hands one to him and he quickly scribbles Jean’s number onto a piece of paper. He hands it over and she responds with a quick, ‘thank you’ taking her leave as quickly as possible. 
“Woah.. Forgot how bitchy you can be when you’ve had a few.” Sasha giggles though unlike the girl from before Armin’s glare does nothing to sway her. 
“Did I forget to mention sometimes Jean’s girls come to me too?” He sighed
Connie had managed to grab a new glass while Sasha had fallen distracted. He lifted a bottle of vodka over the edge of the counter top, sloppily pouring a bit of it over his hand and onto the table before properly settling into an easy rhythm. 
“No more! I’m serious Connie, you’ve had enough and you’re starting to get vulgar.” She snatched the glass just before he could drink from it, pushing it far away from his grasp. 
“You bitch I have not!” He argues, it takes a second for him to register from the wide eyed expressions surrounding him just how loud and crass he’d been. “Alright I’m sorry.. please take me home.” 
Sasha nods, slapping Connie’s back as she inches him off the stool and to his feet, “Hey I know you’re tired of taking messages tonight but could you maybe..”
“Tell Jean you’re taking Connie home? Sure why the fuck not?” 
Armin sighs wrapping his hand around his own glass before it’s snatched from his palm, “You’ve had enough to.” Sasha points “Don’t you dare have another sip tonight.” And with that she’s stumbling through the crowd with Connie’s arm perched over her shoulder. 
When Armin stands he almost knocks the chair over. I didn’t think I had that much.. He thinks. He yanks his hoodie from where it’s drooping through the empty back of the chair, pushing the furniture back up when it falls on him. And when he’s properly standing he takes a deep breath, staggering toward the direction the girl from before had pointed in. 
Despite how dirty it is and his knowledge of such he rests his pounding skull down on the table upon arrival. The cool wood soothing his overly warm skin. 
“Penny for your thoughts?” Jean asks as Armin exhales gingerly 
“Shut up.” He mutters 
‘Too much bourbon I see.” Jean replies 
Armin hates it. Hates this party. Hates the noise. Hates how Jean’s nails feel so good running through his sweaty blond hair. 
“Come on, talk to me.” 
“Girls think I’m the approachable friend.” Armin replies, standing up straight using the table in front of him for support. 
“Well yeah.” Jean nods “I know but that’s just cause they don’t understand how cute, nice and charming you actually are. Those girls are missing out going to Eren when the real heartthrob is right in front of them.” 
Armin snorts, “You need to stop drinking.” 
“I figured right after I called you cute.” Jean slides his glass away turning his attention back to Armin. “ But I wasn’t lying.” 
Armin shoots up, finger out towards Jean. “At least eight girls in the three hours we’ve been here have asked about Eren. Two asked about you.” 
“Do you know the names of my two?” 
“I think it was, I don’t know and the second was I don’t care.” 
“Ouch.” Jean pressed a finger to his lip, the black nail polish accented in the strobe lighting. He pressed his chin into his palm leaning in closer to Armin. “Have you ever considered changing your hair? Maybe growing it out or cutting it more?” 
“No I-” 
The terrible clatter of glasses shook Armin and Jean from their conversation. Three girls all of whom were laughing at nothing now standing in front of them. “Hey!” One greeted 
“Hello ladies.” Jean replied back while Armin gritted his teeth. 
The girl farthest away snorted, gesturing with her hands to the girl who had spoken up to begin with. “So my friends-” She quickly slapped the third girl on the back who instantly began giggling again. “I’m sorry.” 
Jean just nodded glancing at an unamused Armin. 
“You know him right?” The first girl tried immediately covering her mouth as though she’d said something completely foul. She pointed across the room at Eren who seemed completely unresponsive to a one sided conversation with a random girl. 
“Starting to wish I didn’t..” 
“Huh?!” Yelled the third girl 
“No, no..” The second girl began “It’s just cause these two like him.” The entire gaggle burst into loud giggles. All three of them pushing their hair away from their eyes and bouncing around like small children. 
When the agitating screeching died down the second girl added “We wanna see who he likes best.” She finished 
“Is he seeing anyone?” The first girl chimed in
“Not that I know of.” Armin answered 
“Do you have his number?” The third girl asked 
“I have it.” Jean responded before Armin could even create the sentence in his head. 
Jean promptly jotted the number down giving it to the first girl who didn’t hesitate in snatching it from his hand and heading off. The second girl behind her soon followed by the only one from the group that didn’t leave their manners at home. The third girl smiling with an appreciative farewell. 
Jean made a small noise in his throat, turning back to Armin with the nail of his thumb pressed under his teeth. “Maybe you should go home?.. You know what I’ll leave with you.” 
“Jean, no offense but I don’t want pity.” 
“When do you think Eren is gonna wanna leave?” 
“I don’t know.” He huffed “I’m gonna go use the bathroom.” 
He didn’t wait for Jean’s reply just grabbed his once discarded hoodie and headed through the mess of drunk partygoers towards the bathroom. He didn’t even need to actually use it. Just wanted to be out of sight of all the stupid drunk girls vying for Eren’s affections. Not even realizing that tissue has touched Eren longer than any of them will. 
The bathroom door was closed and maybe that was a good thing because it wasn’t extremely likely that Armin wouldn’t stay in there for a couple hours after the night he’s endured. He lets out a long exhale hunting around for his phone. Blond hair sticking up as he slumps against the wall. 
“Um hey.” Armin doesn’t even bother to look up. “Is someone in there?” 
“Yup.” He grunts 
Armin notes the slight shift in the person in front of him. He looks up completely unsurprised by the fleeting glance, the hands crossed behind their back and head bowed. 
“Ok.” The girl begins but by this point Armin’s attention is redirected to his phone  “My name is Y/N, I wanted to ask you if maybe I could have your number?” 
Armin blinks expression completely unchanged as she hands over her phone. He lets his eyes roll around in his head taking the device and robotically typing in Eren’s number in contacts. When he gives it back to her she lets out a little squeak of excitement. 
“I’ll call you!” She calls before running off 
Wait..  Gears turn like clockwork in his brain. Slowly but surely the situation dawns on him. His number???? Did a girl? Particularly one as cute as her ask for his number?? 
Granted he’d only seen her for a couple seconds but she was most certainly the most put together girl that had approached him tonight. Clothes neat and tidy. No flopping around like a fish out of water at any point during the conversation. Hair done in a ponytail that wasn’t begging for release from its confines. 
And he’d given her Eren’s number.. 
Shit! 
Safe to say Armin bolted. Back down the hall, leaping up to search over the crowding heads all around. Successfully getting weird stares but that was beyond his problems at the moment. Once he’d decided that she wasn’t anywhere around he sprinted through out the door and towards the stairs. 
“Wait! Wait! Wait!” He called, hearing the sound of footsteps. 
His heart collided with his ribcage, loud stomps ensuing as he sprinted around the bend at the bottom of the staircase. She was in his sights, her head turning and eyes making contact with his and just as soon his foot slipped. Body colliding with the first stair, then the second and so on till he’d successfully finished rolling down the entire flight. Slamming into the wall with a hard thud. 
“Oh my god Armin!” She settled onto her knees, reaching out for his face. Delicate palms brushing over his sore cheeks. “Are you ok? Never mind, stupid question, let me call an ambulance.” 
Blond lashes slowly fluttered close then open as she moved to pull her phone from her pocket. “Before you do.” Armin panted still working to catch his breath. “Can I give you my number? For real this time?”  
Ok so this is unedited because I think writers block is trying to take me and I’m trying my hardest to keep it at bay. I have like 5 things in the works at the moment so I really don’t need that.       
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