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builtbybrokenbells · 4 months

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CAPITAL VICES | CAPITAL VIRTUES

The seven capital virtues, also known as contrary or remedial virtues, are those opposite the seven deadly sins. They are often enumerated as chastity, temperance, charity, diligence, patience, kindness, and humility.

Masterlist

Listen while reading: bed of roses - bon jovi

Pairing: Jake Kiszka x f!reader

Word Count: 7k

Warnings: mentions of sex, mentions of drinking, grief/loss of a parent, mentions of bad past relationships, fear/anxiety, mentions of sickness/illness, swearing, but mostly just fluff! sorry if i miss any!!

i couldn’t end this without a little sweetness to carry over until the next time. thank you all for every bit of love this story has received; you have made capital vices what it is, and i would not be here without you. sorry for any heartbreak I’ve caused, but I hope this suffices! this is finally the end, and although it is a chapter, it also serves as the epilogue. I love you all so very much, and as always, enjoy, be kind, and don’t mind any grammar mistakes!

The morning came as it always does, bright and unsuspecting, sneaky and sometimes even hostile. When you opened your eyes for the first time on that sunny Sunday morning, dangerously bordering the afternoon hours, you were in a better mood than you had ever been. Not even the disruptive rays of light washing over your face could irritate you, nor the cluster of birds chirping in your backyard. Your chest was light, free from the weight of sadness and finally relaxing after relentless tension. You could inhale and fill your lungs without a stabbing reminder of what you missed so dearly, and the scent of Jake lingered in your pillows and sheets, even clinging on to the fibers of the shirt you were wearing.

The morning can not be bad when you wake up to such an abundance of love and all things that come along with it.

You turned, half expecting to see Jake sleeping soundly next to you, hoping to catch sight of his peaceful expression as the sun illuminated his beautiful features. When you looked next to you, you were not met by soft snores and a mess of long, brown hair. The bed was empty, only a divot in the mattress to remind you of him and his company. Your stomach sank, wondering if he’d gone back home already. You tried to ignore the nagging disappointment that came along with the thought of him leaving without a goodbye. You rubbed sleep from your eyes, begging your body to wake up the same as your mind had. With an outstretch of your limbs and a long, exaggerated yawn, you managed to throw the blankets from your legs and face the cold air.

As you stepped out of bed, you noticed more signs of another human life housed inside your home. The disappointment fled your body, replaced with an urgent sense of excitement. Quiet clanging of pots and pans could be heard from the kitchen, as well as light footsteps and the soft sound of music. The closer you got to your bedroom door, the more you could hear it. You grabbed a pair of shorts to slip on as you walked towards the exit from your room, advancing slowly so you could soak up the sight and sear it into your memory. A smile blossomed on your cheeks as you slowed to a stop. Leaning against the doorframe, you gazed out into the kitchen, watching Jake, shirtless and unsuspecting, tend to a pan on the stove. The coffee maker was lit up with blue lights, signaling its own anticipation to be used. From his phone played a slow melody, and his movements were so gentle and calculated, almost as if he was trying his best to remain undetected.

You wanted to run to him, wrap your arms around him and kiss your way through the morning. You craved his hand on your hip and your arms slung around his neck, clumsily dancing to the soft music. You wanted to hear him speak your name, to let the low tone settle deep in your bones and make home there, just so the memory could remain indefinitely. Instead, you stood and stared. You wanted it so badly, but your body would not allow it. He was a person meant to be admired, and that’s exactly what you intended to do.

He did not notice you, nor did he even think to look over his shoulder and check. You had no idea how he was so oblivious to your eyes burning holes into him, but you were grateful for his ignorance. It allowed you to watch him, unashamed and uninterrupted as you familiarized yourself with all of the small details. The way his hair swooped down and settled on the bare, tanned skin of his back. The way the defined outline of his muscles showcased every flex and tense that happened with every small movement and sudden motion. The pair of sweatpants, settled low on his hips and leaving little to the imagination. You listened as he hummed the lyrics to himself, every so often growing increasingly more passionate about the song. His inability to multitask allowed for the toast to pop from the toaster and make him jump in surprise, then drew his attention so much that the pan became long forgotten.

He was perfection, and you were just the lucky one who was able to appreciate it in such a way. You did not deserve such an angel, gracing your kitchen in the late morning while you dozed away in another room. It was staggering, the difference between Jake Kiszka during the day and in the late hours of the night. In the darkness, his skin was as red as blood, a pitchfork in hand as he tried to hide the devil horns settled on his skull. In the light of morning? He omitted an aura of white light, appearing blessed by god himself as the shiny, golden halo sat perfectly atop his head. He was the most confusing entity you had ever encountered, and for some strange reason, it only made you fall for him harder.

As you watched him, you began to second guess every notion you had previously concluded about him. The glass seemed to unfog, quickly becoming crystal clear as you viewed him in a whole new way. The man in your kitchen did not seem unholy, or like he held any wicked power or desires. He was a man, unfathomably perfect in everything he did. His beauty was blinding, and his heart was full of love waiting to be given to you. There was no possible way the man in your home was anything less than angelic, and your earlier fear of the unholy seemed to deconstruct itself the longer you watched.

The constant unease that was so often felt in your stomach was gone, as was the fear that normally accompanied it. For the first time since you met him—no, for the first time in years, life seemed perfect.

The feeling you felt before succumbing to sleep was gone, replaced only with love and happiness. Jake was not an evil entity, and with your new found strength, it now seemed completely possible to repent for the mistakes you had made.

With him by your side, you knew you could do anything.

You could not resist the urge to touch him any longer, stepping out into the brightly lit kitchen and approaching him with caution. When you were close enough, you extended your arm and placed your hand on his back, just over his shoulder blade. He jumped only slightly, realizing immediately that it was you from the calming effect of your touch. You placed your other hand on his bicep, stepping even closer and cornering him into the counter. You pressed your chest against his back, turning your head downwards placing a small kiss on his shoulder.

“Good morning, beautiful.” He said, his voice still laced with sleepiness. He let you stay in your position only for a moment before turning to face you. You gazed up at his face, stars dancing in your eyes as you gave him a soft smile. “How did you sleep?”

“Good,” you hummed, neglecting to tell him that it was only because he was with you “and you?”

“Fantastically, ‘cause it was with you.” He did not seem to have any shame about the fact. Your cheeks dusted red at the sweetness of his words. He leaned down, placing a soft kiss to your forehead. He lingered there for a second, but eventually had to move on to tend to the food cooking on the stove. You couldn’t help but frown, wishing that the moment could have lasted for a little while longer.

“Breakfast?” You asked, moving to the coffeemaker to hit the brew button. You placed a cup underneath before turning to face him again. He looked back over his shoulder, a sheepish look on his face.

“Is that okay?” You thought about it for a moment, pretending to ponder the question.

“Of course it is, Jake.” You assured him, giving him a nod.

With that, the first heavenly virtue began to fill the room. Pride was non-existent, now replaced with a newfound sense of humility. Before, you were so stuck in your own ways that the simple idea of breakfast made you sick to your stomach. You could not digest the idea of showing or sharing emotional intimacy with him, but now, it was easier than falling asleep. In truth, humility had began to take over long before that moment. The night prior, when you bit your tongue and allowed him to speak his mind despite your belief that you were doing the right thing, your prideful behaviour was long forgotten. As he poured his heart out to you over a dozen roses and countless tears, you were no longer the most important, nor the one with the right answers. You swallowed your pride and allowed yourself to view things from his perspective, thus allowing the two of you to communicate effectively.

But, humility was not the first; in fact, the first virtue had appeared the night before, blooming alongside the begging of humility, when you were still convinced that evil coursed through his veins and bled into your own. When he showed up at your doorstep with nothing but love in his heart, you responded with patience instead of the wrath the two of you so often found yourselves in. You held the capacity to accept and delay your own suffering in an attempt to listen to his. You could have slammed the door, or argued until you were blue in the face without ever acknowledging that you might not be right or know best. It was something you so often did, but you loved him enough to hear his words without allowing your own emotions to get in the way. You loved Jake enough to be patient, which was something you had never done before in your entire life.

“Unless you had something else in mind?” He asked, switching off the element of the stove and pushing the pan to the side. He made sure that there was no fire hazards before returning to you. His hand settled on your hip and his index finger moved to your chin, guiding your head upwards. He was so close that it made your head spin and your heart thud against your chest dramatically.

“Like?” You questioned, raising an eyebrow at him. His nose was brushing against your own, his lips just barely parted from you.

“Continuing what we were doing last night?” He offered. You let out a small chuckle, leaning forward and pressing your lips to his. The kiss was short, sweet but effective in its simplicity.

“As tempting as that is, no.” You shook your head, your lips still lingering over his. “I want to have breakfast with you, Jake.” At the sound of your words, he nearly fell to his knees. “I want to be with you, just like this.”

“We can do that, angel.” He breathed, smiling down at you. “Go sit, I’ll be right over.” He motioned towards the kitchen table.

“Okay.” You agreed, giddy at the thought of domesticity with him. As you sat down, you felt an oddly warm feeling wash over you. It felt like freedom, and it felt so good. Not once had you approached Jake and shown him such vulnerability without hopes of something sexual in return. Actually, you weren’t sure if you had ever approached him with vulnerability first; he always seemed to be the one to pry the emotion from you. It was a beautiful thing to be able to love someone with no hesitation, and loving him made it all the more special.

Just like that, lust was destroyed by chastity. You had overcome the biggest obstacle that was in the way of opening your hearts to each other. You could rely on one another without the need for sex, and you could show him and express that you cared for him without taking your clothes off. Lust was the very thing that created your relationship, yet if you continued on the same path of prioritizing sexual pleasure over emotional connection, you would meet a tragic end. In that one fraction of a second, you had shown him that he was more than sex, and what he offered did not solely exist within the bedroom. You even believed that you could live a long and happy life without ever having sex with him again, because sitting down and sharing a meal was just as fulfilling as anything else.

You loved Jake for all he was, but the urge to sleep with him was still pressing despite your desire to do something as simple as share breakfast. Instead of acting on it, you surpressed your desire for him and gave him a warm smile as he placed a plate in front of you. It would be too easy, too predictable to throw everything else aside for something as superficial as sex. In the last five years of your life, sex had grown into something completely meaningless to you. What you were doing, sitting down, sipping coffee and sharing laughs, was the most meaningful thing you’d ever done. It was coated with meaning, almost so much so that you struggled to wrap your head around it.

You were done with superficialities; you wanted him to know you wholly and completely, without any defence or fear. You were tired of just sharing enough to keep him around, but never enough for him to know you. As you watched him eat the meal he had prepared for you both, you knew that Jake was the person you wanted to share your soul with. He was the only person who you trusted with it, and he was the only person who would protect it as if his life depended on it. The last three months had shown you enough of him for you to fall in love, but now you were the one who needed more. You needed every secret, to know where his body held scars from his childhood, and what his favorite subject in school was. You needed to hear about his parents, and all of the funny stories about his siblings from their youth. You needed it desperately, and you needed it now.

“Were you always close with your siblings? Or did that come with age?” You asked, looking at him over the top of your mug as you took a sip. He gave you a questioning look as he pondered your words.

“We’ve always been close.” He deducted, nodding his head as he answered. “I mean, we fought, but we’ve always been best friends.”

“Hmm,” you smiled, looking down at your plate. “I think the idea of you and Josh fighting is hilarious.”

“Well, there’s been lots of fights, and I’m sure there will be more to come.” He laughed quietly at the memories flooded his mind.

“What was your favourite subject in school?” You asked, catching his gaze again.

“Nothing.” He chuckled.

“Oh, come on.” You rolled your eyes. “There had to be one class you liked.”

“Music class in the ninth grade.” He said, smirking at your annoyed expression. “And I liked gym class.”

“Typical teenage boy.” You smiled.

“School wasn’t really my thing, but I made it through. Turns out you don’t need calculus to play a guitar, so it didn’t matter much in the end, anyway.”

“Guess so.” You agreed. “Did you break the rules a lot? You seem like the type.”

“Every now and again.” He shrugged, giving a sheepish smile. “What about you?”

“Never.” You laughed, finding the thought blasphemous. “My parents would have killed me. I liked school, and I was good at it. Did lots of extracurriculars and stuff, and always went to bed at ten.”

“Goody-two shoes?” He teased, making your cheeks burn red. “I’m just joking, sweetheart.” He said, reaching across the table and giving your hand a small squeeze.

“I was,” you sighed. “My sister was, too, so I guess my parents did great at their jobs.” You reminisced on your younger years as you spoke. “My favorite class was calculus, though, so watch what you say about it.”

“Calculus was your favorite?” He held back a laugh at the idea. “I didn’t think anyone’s favorite class was calculus.”

“What can I say,” you shrugged “I like math. It makes sense to me.”

“Okay,” he agreed, feeling no need to challenge it any further. “What about you and your sister? Were you always close?”

“Yes and no.” You pondered back on your relationship with her. “When we were very young, we fought all of the time. For a little while, we could barely even be in the same room. When we hit double digits, I think we finally realized we were stuck with each other, then we tried to be friends. By high school, we were inseparable, save for a few fights. Now I couldn’t imagine what life would be like without her.” You explained, leaning back in your chair and smiling at your own shenanigans. “My dad used to say we got along like a house on fire. When we were small, he called us little devils.”

“Hard to believe you would fight with anyone,” he smirked, sarcasm dripping from his tone. You gave him a small chuckle, unable to find an argument. You loved to argue, and you loved being right. Unfortunately, he had seen that side of you more than he’d seen anything else. He was quiet for a moment, then he took in a long breath, as if he was debating whether to speak again. Then, he found the courage and opened his mouth again. “Tell me about your dad.” You looked up at him, stunned at the bluntness of his words. “If you want to, of course.”

“Y-yeah,” you stuttered. You were shocked at his desire to know, because you had envisioned a life for yourself in which you would never be asked that question, and by doing so, you thought that you would never have to answer it. You dreaded talking about it because it was the hardest thing you had ever gone through, but now that you were faced with it, the prospect of telling him seemed enticing. Your dad was your whole world, and sharing his memory with Jake only made sense to you; he was the only person you felt would honor him the same way you did.

“He was the best man you could ever meet, and I don’t think I’m saying that because I’m biased.” You treaded carefully, trying to find the best way to phrase your thoughts. “He was loved by everyone, and the only people that didn’t like him were the ones who did wrong first. He was funny, he was caring, and he was so smart. I don’t think I ever remember him raising his voice, and even until the very end, he was as happy as ever.” Jake nodded along as you spoke, showing you that he was listening to every word. “He loved sports, and music, and he got up hours early to make us all breakfast on Saturday mornings without fail.” You smiled at the memory, wondering if you would ever taste another pancake that was as good as your father’s recipe.

“He was there for every school event and parent teacher meeting, and he was always so excited to help us with homework. He watched football religiously and he drank margaritas because he thought beer was disgusting. He used to play us guitar when he put us to bed, and he read us stories with the books upside down so we couldn’t read ahead of him.” Jake laughed at the thought, a real one that came straight from his chest. You caught his eye, the glisten of tears quickly turning into adoration for him. Suddenly, you wondered why you ever wanted to hide your life from him at all. You wanted him to know everything, and you wanted him to share the laughs and the tears and most of all, the love.

“He was my best friend, and to this day, I don’t think I’ve ever met anyone who understands me like he did. He taught me everything I know, and I am who I am because of his love. He knew the words to every Van Halen song and he dedicated all his spare time trying to play one song as good as Stevie Ray Vaughan.” You closed your eyes, remembering the relentless riffs that floated through the morning air in your childhood home. “He never could, but we always told him he did.”

“Not many can,” Jake corrected, defending his talent. You nodded in agreement, knowing he was right.

“He taught me how to love art and music and most of all, photography. He used to take pictures of us all on those disposable cameras all hours of the day. I’m sure he went through ten a week.” You nearly rolled your eyes at the thought of how many ridiculous pictures existed of you. “When he started getting sick, it didn’t seem like anything changed until… all of it did.” You let out a shaky breath, the strength of the emotion so strong that it made your stomach churn. “He got sick when I was in the tenth grade, and it took a while for him to realize that he was sick. He came home from the doctor and he didn’t change a thing. He did homework with us, he played guitar, he drank his margaritas while he watched football, and I think that all of us had a hard time processing that something was wrong because he never acted like it.” He hummed, giving your hand another gentle squeeze to encourage you to keep going.

“When he went to the hospital for the first time, I was in the eleventh grade. I think that was when I finally understood that something was wrong. He only stayed for a couple of days, but when he came home, we could finally see the difference in him.” You paused, looking down at the table to gather your thoughts. “He stopped playing guitar, and he stopped drinking margaritas. Football still played on the T.V., but I don’t think he was really watching it anymore. He took pictures, but not as often, and breakfast on Saturdays was very much on the back burner compared to everything else going on.”

“He was there, but he wasn’t.” He tried to put your ramblings into the proper words. It was like living with a ghost, and that was the only way you knew how to explain it.

“Yeah, exactly.” You breathed. “We had him for longer than we deserved, but I can’t help but feel selfish when I wish that we could have had him forever.”

“I don’t think you’re selfish at all, beautiful.” He shook his head. “It sounds like he was fantastic, and I wish I could have met him.”

“He would have adored you.” You chuckled, smiling softly at the idea. “He always told me to find someone who encourages me to stand up after I fall, rather than someone who picks me up off the ground. He wanted me to find someone who made me laugh, who listened, and most of all, who loved me like he loved my mom. If I knew my dad, he would have known that you were that person the minute he laid eyes on you.”

“I don’t know how your dad loved your mom, but by the sounds of it, it was with all of his heart.” Jake said, waiting for you to look up at him. When you caught his eye, he continued on. “And with you, that’s all I plan to do.” He gave you a smile, one that spoke louder than any of his previous words.

“I, uh,” you paused, clearing your throat to rid yourself of the tears rising in it. “I don’t talk about my dad a lot, not because I don’t want to, but because I’ve always felt like nobody was worth it. To know, or to know about him is a privilege, and I don’t think a lot of people deserve it. I know that you do, and I’d love to tell you all about him.”

“Whenever you want to tell me, I’ll be more than happy to listen.”

Temperance crushed any gluttony that remained within the two of you. How easy it would have been to forgo breakfast and take him to bed, and how badly you wanted it was incomprehensible. The two of you had solidified the notion that sex was most important many times, but now it no longer seemed to be so pressing. Knowing him, and him knowing you was the only thing that mattered. You were able to put your gluttonous habits to the side and show enough self-restraint to look beyond the surface. There was more to Jake than a pretty face and a devastatingly intoxicating charm. There were thoughts, values and beliefs that you did not know a thing about, yet craved to hear. But, temperance was only getting started, and there was so much more you wanted to discover.

“Can you play guitar for me?” You asked, almost out of nowhere. You’d been desperate to hear his hands work magic on the fretboard after using his music as lullabies all week.

“Oh, y-yeah.” He said, excited but caught off guard. There was so much you needed and wanted from him, and you felt like you had already wasted too much time. You weren’t willing to miss out on another moment of knowing him.

You reached your hand out to him, blinking away any sadness still remaining in your eyes as you both rose to your feet. You abandoned whatever was left on your plates and took off down the hallway in a mess of hushed giggles and smiled. You opened the door to the room that held so many memories, the last one not so pleasant in your mind. Instead of focusing on the hurt, you made a promise to yourself to replace all of the bad with the good. You took a seat on your piano bench as he grabbed the guitar from the stand, stopping for a moment to admire the frames hung on the wall.

“You take stunning pictures, y/n.” He said, taking a long look over a few photographs you had hung from a photoshoot you’d done with your sister and her dogs. “I’ve never seen such a good picture of a dog before.” He laughed, leaning it to get a closer look at the portrait of her Golden Retriever.

“Thank you.” You smiled, allowing him to take as much time as he wanted. Before, you were afraid of him knowing you so well. Your work was your most precious treasure, and him knowing all about it broke down a barrier you had worked so hard at building. Now, watching his wondrous expression and a charming smile, you wanted to share every photograph you had ever taken. He made you feel a pride in your work that surpassed anything you’d ever felt before. As he walked around the room, studying the frames, you hit a couple notes on the piano. Eventually, it sparked a desire in you to play more.

You began a slow descent into song often heard over the car radio when your father drove you to school. You drew it out, having fun with it after going so many days without playing. You did not notice, too caught up in the echoing sound of the piano bouncing off of the walls, but Jake's head turned away from the frames and was now pointed in your direction. His eyes were fixated on your face, drinking in the small expressions you made as your hands glided across the keys. A smile was on his lips as he settled the guitar strap around his neck, listening intently as he adjusted the tuning pegs. As you continued to play, he began plucking the strings in time with your hands.

“Sitting here wasted and wounded

At this old piano

Trying hard to capture

The moment this morning I don't know

'Cause a bottle of Vodka's still lodged in my head

And some blonde gave me nightmares

Think that she's still in my bed

As I dream about movies

They won't make of me when I'm dead.” You sang, looking over the top of the piano to catch Jake’s eye. He was already looking, sending you a smile as if to say ‘keep going’.

“With an ironclad fist

I wake up and french kiss the morning

While some marching band keeps its own beat in my head

While we're talking

About all of the things that I long to believe

About love, the truth, what you mean to me

And the truth is

Baby you're all that I need.” The subliminal message in the lyrics was astounding, and he felt it just as strongly as you did. You played a small run, watching him as he took a step closer to you. As you opened your mouth to keep singing, he joined in, too.

“I want to lay you down in a bed of roses

For tonight I'll sleep on a bed of nails

Oh I want to be just as close as the Holy Ghost is

And lay you down on a bed of roses.” The two of you finished together, stars dancing in your eyes and hearts hanging in the air. You were so in love with each other that it was hard to think of anything else.

“Well I'm so far away

Each step that I take is on my way home

A king's ransom in dimes, I'd give each night

To see through this payphone

Still I run out of time

Or it's hard to get through

Till the bird on the wire flies me back to you

I'll just close my eyes and whisper

"Baby, blind love is true".” You let him sing the next verse alone, completely enthralled by his voice. He was such a beautiful singer that it made you wonder why he did not do it more often. You could listen to him sing songs of nothing but tragedy and still shed tears over the beauty.

“I want to lay you down in a bed of roses

For tonight I'll sleep on a bed of nails

Oh I want to be just as close as the Holy Ghost is

And lay you down on a bed of roses.” You began to trail off early, both of you done singing and ready to lay the song to rest. You wanted to kiss him more than you wanted to finish the song, and when it came to Jake, you knew he would always be the most important. He played a tiny riff on the guitar to finish it off, smiling to himself as he looked back up at you.

“Bon Jovi?” He asked, cocking his head to the side.

“My dad loved him.” You shrugged. “You should sing more often.”

“So should you.” He retorted without missing a beat. You both failed to bring up the fact that you had just shared so many intimate details with each other without even trying. “So, you think you’ll finally give my music a shot?” He asked, coming over to sit next to you.

“Don’t have to ‘give it a shot’,” you laughed, air quoting your words, “that solo in ‘The Weight Of Dreams’ could make anyone fall in love with you. I fell in love with it the minute I heard it.” The look of surprise on his face was apparent, and he could not seem to hide it. He certainly wasn’t expecting to hear you say that you had already listened, but especially not to hear you say the name of one of his songs.

“Y-you… you, uh…” he blinked a couple times, trying to process the new information. “You listened to it?”

“Yeah,” you nodded, speaking softly. “Every night after… yeah.” You cut yourself off. “It helped me sleep.”

“Oh,” he breathed, looking over your sheepish expression. He felt sad that he was not there to share the experience with you, but he was touched to hear such sentiments. “Well, you don’t have to use Spotify anymore, sweetheart. I’ll play you guitar until my fingers fall off.” He chuckled, reaching over and tucking a strand of hair behind your ear. “Whatever you want to hear, whenever you want to hear it.”

Slowly and quietly, generosity began to emerge and greed began to fade. Before, you had been so greedy that you wanted all of him without having to give anything back. Now, you wanted all of him, and you were willing to give him all of you in exchange for it. You no longer had a guard on your heart, wanting to bear it to him in the most intimate displays. As much as you wanted to know him, you wanted him to have all of you just the same.

“I’m sorry that I was so difficult, Jake.” You said, leaning into the soft touch of his hand. “I wish we could have done this a long time ago.”

“I’m sorry, too.” He said, running his thumb across your cheek. “That girl at the bar… I was so stupid, angel. You are the only thing I have ever wanted, and I can’t even begin to tell you how sorry I am for hurting you.”

“Scott wasn’t anything, either.” You confessed. “I just wanted to make you feel the same way I felt. It was gross, and I don’t want to do that again. I want to love you, Jake. I want to put all of the bad stuff aside and start over. I want us to be happy and I want this to be healthy, and I’m willing to do whatever I can to make it work.”

“I am too, sweetheart.” He leaned over, careful not to disturb the guitar in his lap. He pressed a kiss to your lips, lingering for a moment to enjoy the sweetness.

Charity replaced envy, allowing the two of you to show kindness and tolerance while judging each other. In the moment, emotion was so powerful that it was difficult to see the truth behind the situation. Now, you could both clearly understand that the hurtful words and actions stemmed directly from your own broken hearts. You did not want to hurt each other, nor did you want to make things worse. You were doing what you thought was best at the time to heal your own heartbreak. The pain had settled and allowed the two of you to see each other exactly as you were. You were so in love with each other that it made your head spin and your stomach twist with butterflies, and you were so regretful for how you treated each other. Moving on was what you intended to do, and leaving everything in the past was the only way to do it.

“I love you, y/n.” He whispered, his lips still lingering over your own.

“I love you, Jake.” You replied, smiling at the thought. “Thank you for taking a chance on me.”

“The only person that deserves to be thanked is you.” He corrected. “I want to love you better than anyone ever has. You deserve the world, and I want to be the person who can give it to you.”

“You already do.” You assured him. “More than you’ll ever know.”

“Be mine, angel?” He asked, pulling back with a hopeful expression. The three simple words took your breath away. The prospect of being his was more comforting than anything you’d ever felt before. You didn’t know how to love, or even what it meant to be in a relationship anymore, but you knew you wanted to try with him. For him, you would do anything.

“Of course, Jake.” You nodded, leaning in and pressing another kiss to his lips. In that moment, all of the sin seemed to wash away. The evil you had done was replaced with your virtuous love. The devil was not before you, nor was he within you. You were two people who loved each other endlessly and equally, trying to atone for the mistakes you had made while navigating such a profound journey. “I would love nothing more.” With one last smile, he pulled you into one last kiss, showcasing just how happy he was to know that he was yours and you were his.

You were not people of god, nor were you the devil's disciples; you were yourself, and Jake was Jake. You were two regular human beings who could make each other happy, but also had the luxury of making mistakes. There was no evil in the room, nor was there a white light and halos above your heads. You had sinned, and you had practiced virtues, but most of all, you learned to love each other efficiently and properly. You could communicate clearly, and you could open up without fear of rejection or disappointment. He was a charming man with an intoxicating personality, and you were a witty hot-head who stole his heart. Your skin was not red, nor were there devil horns atop your head. Your fear of him had little to do with any wicked powers, but everything to do with your inability to understand the effect he had on you.

Jake made it easier to fall in love than anyone ever had, and falling in love had never been your forte. You were terrified of love, but loving him was too euphoric to deny. With time, you knew that you could grow comfortable with all the things you once feared, and it was because he was the one holding your hand and helping you through it. Jake would not solve your problems, but that was okay. You can be your own worst enemy, or you can be your biggest inspiration; this time, instead of letting your fears paralyze you, you decide to lead yourself into an era of love and light. You guided yourself through the darkest times, and you would continue to do so until the end of time, but he would always be there to support you through it.

In him, you found a best friend and a confidant. You found something you did not believe existed, and something you thought was only true in fiction. You found a safe place to rest and somewhere to call home, a hug on the coldest of days and a rush of fresh air when it was difficult to breathe. You wanted to love him until you collapsed under the weight of your own adoration, and until you were long forgotten and had become one with the earth. In every lifetime, you would search for him, and in every universe, you would love him just the same.

Your sin had caught up to you, but you were strong enough to repent from the wrath of the devil. You were equally as virtuous as you were wicked, and it was the whole point of being alive; making mistakes and struggling is to be expected, but to go forth despite the failure is the only way to survive. You were human beings with apparent flaws, yet you loved each other enough to see past the mistakes and move forward despite them. Past the darkness, you found something you worried you would never experience, and now he was the only thing that mattered. You would go through every struggle and all of the pain all over again if it meant you would end up in his arms. He was worth it, and you had no doubt in your mind about it.

Your last virtue took over as you rested in his arms. Sloth had caused neglect in the grand aspect of your lives. You avoided telling each other about your feelings, and you avoided the yearning felt in your hearts. Now, diligence was in the air, and it was much more powerful that any of the sins you had committed. You were committed to happiness, and you were both able and willing to put careful and persistent work into making the relationship as happy and as healthy as possible. You would work until your body collapsed from exhaustion, and you would not complain about a single thing, because you were the lucky, and the only one to be able to fall in love with Jake Kiszka.

The End

TAGLIST: @sacredjake @profitofthedune @thewritingbeforesunrise @sacredthethreadgvf @klarxtr @ohgodthefeeling-gvf @freefallthoughts @jaketlove @clairesjointshurt @ageofbajabule @dannys-dream @earthgrlsreasy @starshine-gvf @brujamagik @gvfmarge @ignite-my-fire @twistedmelodies @gretavangroupie @alwaysonthemend @edgingthedarkness @gvfpal @sinarainbows @writingcold @starcatcher-jake @literal-dead-leaf @takenbythemadness @gretasfallingsky @hsfallingsky @freyjalw @itsafullmoon @lyndz2names @blacksoul-27 @i-love-gvf @vikingsisthenewsexy @mp0801 @mindastreamofcolours @indigogvf @sparrowofthedawnsworld @jordie-gvf @cassy-face @highway-tuna @creadliz98 @dancingcarbon @do-it-jakey-baby @lallisonl

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theladybarnes · 2 years

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READY TO COMPLY - CHAPTER THREE: KISS ME

“Oh, kiss me, beneath the milky twilight. Lead me out on the moonlit floor. Lift your open hand, Strike up the band and make the fireflies dance Silver moon's sparkling. So kiss me.”

▸ summary: it’s the big first date, what can go wrong? ▸ characters: bucky barnes, tony stark (face time), & steve rogers ( phone call ) ▸ word count: 6,600 ▸ warnings: fluff, slight angst, (MINORS DNI 18+ ONLY) smut ▸ series masterlist

It was safe to say you were a little bit nervous.

“You know, I can always call you back.”

“No! I need to know if I look okay!”

You glanced back over at your computer after coming out from your bathroom. A very disgruntled Tony stared back at you from a computer screen.

“Isn’t this sort of thing better fit to do with Romanoff?”

Nervously, you stalked back over to your table, sitting down at the chair as you picked at the sleeves of your sweater. “Usually, yes. But I’m not too sure I want any of the guys to know I’m on a date. Especially since they’re Steve’s friends too. It’d make things complicated for everyone.”

The mention of your ex caused Tony’s nose to scrunch up. The two usually got along but lately its apparently been a little too hot and cold than a regular friendship. “Make things complicated then. I say you tell him and let him really regret how things went.”

“I’m not going to intentionally start a fight with Steve just for your amusement, Tony.” You glared, feeling like this video call was turning into a bit of a mistake. “I really need you to keep this a secret for now, okay?”

Tony mimicked your glaring expression, leaning back in his chair as he crossed his arms over his chest. “And if I let it slip my next visit to New York?” He was only teasing, but like always, letting your brother have this upper hand, even in jokes always bothered you.

“If you let this slip, I’ll be sure to let Happy know what you did in the back of his Lincoln on your last birthday.”

Instead of getting angry like you figured, Tony broke out into a devious giggle fit. Clapping his hands like a small child as he recalled the memory. “Oh man, he’d really kill me. But alright, fair enough. I’ll keep your secret.”

Sighing in a small relief, you stood up from the seat again to show off your simple outfit. Circling around so he could get a full view of your look.

“You really wanna go on a date for the first time in months in jeans and a sweater?”

“We’re only just having dinner tonight, Tony. I doubt I need to look extravagant for a Wednesday night. Besides..does it look really bad?”

A guilty look slipped over his face. “No, kid. I’m only teasing.” He smiled, reaching past the screen to grab his drink. You frowned a bit at the sight, knowing that it’s too early still in the day for him to drink.

“Any word back from Pepper?”

He breathed heavy through his nose, shaking his head sadly before he downed the rest of the liquid without a wince. “Still kind of blocked. But I’m hoping with some of the work I’ve been doing, she’ll see I’m changing. For the better.”

A small pang of guilt filled your chest. Making you slightly worried about having left your brother like this when he might need someone by his side. The ongoing break up with Pepper was obviously getting the best of him.

He was trying his best to distract himself with work that even you knew was boring to him. He wasn’t even making as many new gadgets these days. You only hoped Pepper would notice how much he was trying.

Tony tilted his head on the screen, catching your face as your thoughts began to run. “Don’t worry about me, kid. Things will work out itself. But I gotta say,” he laughed, giving you a warm smile. “It’s nice to see you happy like this again.”

You ducked your head, trying to not let your brother see how shy and nervous you were. “One of us Starks has to be able to hold onto a relationship right?” His words were playful but laced with a sad undertone.

“Tony...”

“It’ll go great! You’re a peach and I’m sure if you’re willing to go out with him, he's a decent guy. Just be careful and call me soon with how it goes. I’ll want to hear all about it.”

Raising a brow at that, you turned to face the camera, giving a teasing smirk at his request. Tony suddenly looked more distressed than the happy calm look he had before. “WAIT.” He gasped, shaking his head quickly. “I changed my mind. Don’t call!”

You could only let out a loud laugh as you waved goodbye at the camera watching his eyes go wide. “Goodbye, pervert!” The last thing you see before ending the call was him making fake vomit noises as he hunched over in his chair.

After closing up the laptop, your room is suddenly filled with a calming silence. The call ended up helping ease your mind a little bit. Talking things out with Tony usually did that. But there was still a slight nervousness you couldn’t shake off.

Bucky meant a lot to you these days. He was your friend and you were the one person in his life that he felt comfortable with. You didn’t want to ruin any of that with a date gone bad.

But even with that plaguing thought, you couldn’t help but reminisce about the way he had asked you out. His reassurance, the shyness in his voice, and the slight pink hue that had gone over his cheeks. He wanted this. And honestly, you really wanted this too.

The rapping of three knocks on the front door made you jump a bit. Checking one more time in the mirror before you walked over to check the peephole. The fish eye view of Bucky through the door made you smile a bit before you opened up.

“Wow..” he breathed. His eyes scanned over your figure, making you feel the heat rise to your cheeks. Nervously you tugged down at the hem of your sweater, trying to cover up a bit before he held his hands up. Seeming to understand your sudden reaction. “You look amazing.”

Taking your turn to look over his appearance, you bite your lip at the sight. His regular tattered clothes have been replaced. New dark wash jeans, a freshly bought red Henley sweater, and his usual framed hair was combed away from his face.

There was even a small hint of cologne that filled your senses. He looked perfect. “I could say the same.” You murmured, not quite finding your voice yet.

“You ready?” He asked softly, reminding you that you actually had to talk and not just stare at him all night. Though that didn’t sound like a bad idea.

“Yeah. sorry,” you chuckled, reaching for your keys to push in your pocket. “Let me just grab my bag and we can go.”

“Actually, all you’ll need is just your keys. I have everything else set up.”

“Everything else?”

He pulled you out your door, letting you quickly lock up before he pointed over towards the door to the roof access. “Figured it might be better for us to have a private dinner for two.”

Grinning, you rushed over to his side and slipped your hand in his. Watching the pink grow on his cheeks. You honestly never got tired of seeing him like that.

“I’d love nothing else.”

The two of you are huddled close on the makeshift bedding on the floor. Bucky’s idea of a small intimate dinner had been finger foods that he bought from a street market nearby. Something so small and intimate. Something that you weren’t used to, considering most of your dates in the past couple of years had been in major cities. But this was better to was sort of unusual for your dates, but pleasantly enjoyable. Either that or the company was what made it worth it.

Bucky was currently failing at hiding the smile on his face. Being only lit up by the few candles that surrounded the two of you. He’s been letting you go on about an extremely horrible vacation you had taken with Tony to Florida when you were eight years old. The original plan was to try and go to Disneyworld and catch Britney Spears perform. Until a series of unfortunate events occurred.

“So there we were on the side of the road, still tired from the flight in, sweating from this wet and hot Florida heat. Tony’s fighting with our driver about his limo breaking down, Happy is on the car phone with getting a tow, and I’m in the back seat crying because I wasn’t gonna go to the happiest place on earth or see my idol.”

“Please tell me that’s the end of the troubles.”

“It would have been. If it hadn’t been monsoon season.”

He lowly laughed at your misfortunes, making you feel a little bit more humorous at the bitter memory. You made it a point to huff jokingly as you take the last papanasi, aka desert, from his plate and pop it in your mouth.

The bit of jam on your face is worth it to see how fast his smile dropped. “You’re incredibly childish.” He mused, reaching a hand up to wipe the side of your mouth with his thumb. The action made your heart beat erratically, nearly making you miss his question. “Did you ever get to hear that girl?”

“Who? Britney? Oh yeah!” Despite the bad trip, it managed to get Tony into contact with people over at Disney, giving him the chance to get the pop star to perform at your birthday that year. “Got a hell of a performance to myself in my own backyard. With nice California weather I might add.”

Bucky rolled his eyes with a playful smile tugged at his lips. “Your brother must have pulled a lot of strings to make it happen.”

“Maybe.” You shrugged, never having thought of it too much until now. “Tony does stuff like that a lot. He’s kinda more like another parent I guess.”

He hummed in response to that, dropping eye contact to look down at his lap. For a second you noticed his face flicker in concentration before turning into disappointment.

Reaching out, you threaded your fingers with his so you could rub the back of his hand soothingly. “Still here with me?”

The sound of his shaky exhale is all you heard for a moment until his blue eyes found yours again. “There’s a girl..in my mind. I can’t..remember her. But I remember helping her.”

You give him a few seconds to try and get his train of thought out. “I keep seeing her crying at a table. She’s so young, but she’s holding her arms out to me..at least I think it’s me. She wants a hug. I think she was family..”

“Do you remember her name?”

The question threw him off, making him push his plate aside as he brought his knees up in front of him. Despite the awkward position, he didn’t let go of your hand. Using the tips of your fingers as something to toy with as he tried to think. It’s not long till he’s dejectedly shaking his head.

“You had a sister named Rebecca..”

He repeated her name, trying to fit the name to the memory. “She was the baby. My baby sister.”

Nodding your head, you place your plate on the side now and bring his hand into your lap, massaging gently into the palm like you always did when he tried to go into deep memory. “You were probably like a third parent to her too.” you said softly, hoping to help urge his memory too.

“How..how did you- What else do you know?”

You kept your eyes down on your lap, staring at the pattern of lines that were inside his hand instead of his eyes that were currently puzzled at you. Honestly, you knew a lot more about Bucky’s family and bits of his past than you let on. Mostly all from Steve or his general history down at the Smithsonian.

“Hey,” he urged, tugging at you to look up again. “Tell me.” He whispered.

“I know a lot. I just never said anything because I didn’t want to overwhelm you with memories I wasn’t even a part of.”

“What do you mean?”

Dropping his hand, you ignore the bit of sadness that’s washed over his face. “I wanted your memories to come from you. Not from me feeding them to you.” Turning your body to face him now, you reached out to cup at the side of his face, smiling a bit when he naturally nuzzled into the palm of your hand.

“You’re going to go through a lot of feelings and possibly triggers during your memory recovery. I don’t want to ruin all that hard work by making you distrust me at any point for being the only person telling you stuff about you.”

There’s a slight tickle to your hand when his lips brush against the inside, making your eyes glued to his mouth unashamedly. “It’s okay to tell me if you’re trying to help me.”

“But it won’t be right for me of all people to tell you stuff about your past. Especially if I wasn’t even there.”

Now it’s his turn to reach out for you, letting his right hand wrap around the back of your neck to pull you in closer to him. “You’re the only thing that feels right to me these days. I think it’s okay if you tell me things that I think could help.”

Pressing his forehead against yours, you try to focus on breathing instead of how much stronger his cologne has plagued your senses again. “D-Do you really think that?”

“That you can help me? Yeah.”

Shaking your head slightly, you traced your fingers slowly down his neck, feeling him shiver a bit before you put your hands between you again. “No, I meant do you really think I’m the only thing that feels right to you?”

A somewhat chuckle comes from his lips and you can’t help but thrive to hear that sound again from him. “‘Course I do. You’re the best thing that’s been in my life in seventy years.”

You do your best to hide the smile on your face from that comment. But all Bucky does is grab hold of your chin, forcing you to meet his eyes again. “I mean it. You mean a lot to me..”

For a moment there’s no other words said. But the two of you slowly inch closer together. The cold touch of his other hand grazes at your jawline, letting him cup your face while also cooling your heated cheek. And just when you think he’s about to kiss you..

“Miss Stark, you have an urgent call from Avengers tower.”

He pulled away first, making you frown at what could have been before you reached into your pocket for your phone. “FRIDAY, I thought I turned you off here.”

“Apologies, boss, but it’s a bypassed message.”

Looking over at Bucky, you give a weak apology and get up from the floor to quickly answer the call. “Sam Wilson this better be good!” You muttered into the phone.

The other line is silent for a moment. Making you think you had lost reception until a voice finally spoke up. “It’s not Sam..”

You nearly drop the phone then and there. The sound of Steve Rogers on the other line was enough to do that after months of ignoring his calls. But why he was calling in the first place was more nerve wracking than his voice.

“Uh, hey Steve. Didn’t really expect it to be you on the other end.”

You didn’t have to turn around to know that Bucky had focused on your conversation now. The slight sound of shuffling as he got up from the floor was pretty loud in your ears. Something about him being able to most likely hear what Steve said to you made your stomach begin to turn.

“Well considering you’ve ignored me for months, I figured out I’d try a little extra measure to reach you.”

“It’s not like you don’t know why I haven’t been picking up your calls or texts.” You frowned, hating your emotions for rising up so easily again. “What did you need, Steven?”

There’s a huff on the other end. The use of his full name still bothered him despite not having heard it in months from you. “Sweetheart, Are you serious right now? I have no idea where you are for months and you haven’t let anyone here tell me how you are. I’ve been worried.”

“I know for certain they aren’t just leaving you dry with information about me. I’m fine, Steve. Great, even.” You really do mean it, but with the frustration of the call it comes off more sarcastic than you want it to.

“Look, just because we’re broken up doesn’t mean that I don’t care about you. I still miss you Scout..”

A tiny part of your emotions brought out a bit of guilt. It had been a while since you last spoke to him. And it wasn’t like you didn’t care for Steve. You did, just not in the way that he’d want you to be. “Look, I didn’t..I’m sorry. Things are just different now.”

“It doesn’t have to be. I still think of you as my friend. And friends check in.”

Stupidly, you peek over your shoulder, catching the sombering sight of Bucky staring off at the end of the rooftop now. Though you could only see the side of his face, it was enough for you to feel your stomach twist up even more. This phone call wasn’t helping anyone right now. “Steve, now is not a good time to catch up. I’m busy.”

“Too busy for me? You used to always have time for me.”

Bucky seemed to have heard enough of the conversation and changed what he was looking at into cleaning up the area. The way he quickly dismantled the little area you two had just been connecting on was being thrown into his bag. Each crush of paper and plate into the other bag with trash was like a stab in your chest. “I used to have a lot with you. Now? Not so much.”

“Please don’t say that. You never even gave me a chance to fight for-“

“Steve, I have to go. I’m..with a friend.” You blurted. The whole world seemed to pause as Bucky stared frozen at the ground and Steve paused on the line. The man before you looked wide eyed into the bag in his hand. Shit.

“I’m sorry..I didn’t know.”

“Yeah, well now you know what I’m up to. Please don’t call again.” You don’t mean to end it so abruptly or so rudely. Really, you knew you should give Steve the chance to talk things out. At least for civility. But watching Bucky pack up made you panic. Especially because you were too much of a coward to tell the truth about what you were doing. This wasn’t how the date was supposed to go.

“Hey, I’m so sorry about all that. I-“

“You don’t have to apologize.” He replied curtly, not noticing how the reply made you visibly wince. Carefully, you extended your arm out, trying to reach for his. In a single grab for the bag he brought everything out in, he managed to avoid your touch. “It was getting kinda late anyway.”

“It’s only nine..”

He glanced down at his wristband, noting the time with a flicker of astonishment before the cold hard look returned on his face. “Yeah, well maybe we can just turn in early.”

There didn’t feel like much you could do to save the night. And what hurt the most was the idea that you said something that might have upset Bucky. He wasn’t a part of the break up, he didn’t need to be in this mess.

“Okay.” You mumbled, continuing your streak of being a coward tonight. Picking up the trash, you helped gather the rest of the stuff. Eventually staggering behind him towards the stairwell. He reached out to grab the bag from you, using his other hand to open the door back to your floor. Not meeting your gaze the entire time you walked down the steps.

“I had a good time, Bucky. I really am sorry for the call.”

For a second you see a flicker of anger cross his face before he quickly shook it off. “Don’t worry about it.” The two of you seem to move glacial towards your door. If he wasn’t so noticeably upset with you, you would have thought he was trying to linger.

“Will I see you tomorrow?” The question comes out weaker than you wished, making you realize how worried you’d be if he said no to it. A glimpse inside your apartment made you gulp. The darkness inside creeped you out. It didn’t have its usual welcome feeling.

“Yeah, we have training to work on.” A sigh of relief slightly slipped past your lips. Not seeing him would have felt a lot worse than anything.

He offered you a small smile, but you could tell that it wasn’t really how he felt. “I’ll see you then.” The most he gave you as a goodnight was a small rub at your shoulder before he turned to the stairs. Giving your heavy heart a sinking feeling with every step down he took. The sounds of his heavy boots echoing along until the sound of his door shutting forced you to move again.

It’s only an hour or two later that you realized what mistake it was to let him walk away. You liked Bucky. More than just a regular kind of crush. But you really liked having this kind of date with him. And you knew that if you hadn’t just came out with it to Steve you wouldn’t have ruined it.

There were only two options now. You could either leave the night as is, go to bed and try to move on from the awkward terrible ending of the date. OR you could try and still fix this while you can.

Before you could even register it, your legs had already led you out the front door. Closing it softly behind you as you made your way down the next floor. Thankfully no one around the two floors seemed to be awake, meaning they wouldn’t catch you in your pajamas. Bucky’s door loomed underneath the light that shined at the edge of his doorway.

Raising your hand up, you tried to ignore the slightly erratic beating of your heart. But before your knuckle could be the surface of the wood, the door opened up. Revealing a slightly tired looking Bucky.

“I heard you coming downstairs. What’s wrong?”

Your body had seemed to move faster than your mind because all you could do was flop your mouth open and close. Trying to form the words in your mind. But being here before him, you realized how scary it was to admit this kind of truth to him.

That only seemed to make Bucky grow slightly more concerned. His hand reached out to cup the side of your face as he shushed you to calm down. “Hey, it’s okay. What happ-“

Cutting him off, you wrapped your arms around his waist tightly as you pressed your body tight against his chest. Thankfully, he’s quick to hold you back, rubbing the cool metal hand against your back.

“I’m so sorry.” You started, pressing your face against the soft shirt on his chest. The light bumping of his heart was faint against your cheek. “None of that should have happened. All I wanted was to spend time with you.”

He’s quiet for a moment, and just when you think he’s still upset, he surprises you. Pressing his lips against the top of your head as he gave you a gentle kiss. “I’m sorry if I got upset too easily. I haven’t exactly felt jealousy in a while.” He admitted softly, moving to rest his cheek on the top of your head now.

“I didn’t mean to lie to Steve about what I was doing..he’d only try and talk about it. You’re still this secret that I’m not exactly ready to share with anyone yet.”

“And here I thought you were covering up for me because it’s what I wanted.”

The heat of a blush crept over your cheeks, making you thankful that he couldn't see your face exactly. You didn’t mean for that part to slip out. “It’s a little bit of both now. I’ve had you to myself for so long..I’m not ready to give that up.”

He gently pushed your face away, allowing his warm right hand to cup the side of your already heated cheek. The look in his blue eyes was gentle, the kind of look they always had when he looked at you. “I don’t really want to share you with anyone either.”

“On the roof,” you whispered. “You said I meant a lot to you. Well, you mean a lot to me too.”

“Do you really mean that?”

Without hesitation you nodded your head quickly. “Yes, you mean so much, Bucky.” The front of his chest swelled at that, making him let out a breath that he seemed to be holding in.

You stood up on the tip of your toes, allowing your face to inch closer to his. Taking the hint, he leaned his face down towards yours, letting his nose brush against the side of yours. “Can I?..” he asked softly.

Nodding your head, you allow your eyes to slip close, meeting him in the middle. It’s been almost months since you last shared a kiss with Bucky. The last time had been at the wrong time. You were panicked, worried, and guilty for sharing a kiss while with Steve.

This time was different in the best way. His lips were soft, warm, with hints of toothpaste, possibly from getting ready for bed after he left your apartment. It still managed to make your heart beat speed up like a hummingbird. There was a faint tickle against your cheek from his beard making you smile into the kiss. It was absolutely perfect.

Bucky seemed just as happy as you did, humming against your mouth. It would seem he only gotten better since the last kiss you two shared together.

When the two of you parted mouths slightly for some air, he used his teeth to lightly nip at your bottom lip. Playfully teasing you and getting you to unashamedly emit a whiney moan. But instead of making you feel embarrassed by that, he only seemed to grow more pleased. The blues in his eyes were nearly gone with how blown out they became.

“I’m not gonna be able to stop kissing you.” He panted, already leaning back in to steal a couple of more pecks. When you didn’t pull back from him, he took that as his chance to bring your body closer to his. Hooking his hands into the back of your legs so that he could have them wrapped around his waist.

“Then don’t stop.” You laughed, letting your head lull forward, sneaking your way into the side of his neck and giving some attention to the soft skin there. Nodding his head, he took that as a sign to slowly pull you inside his apartment, and shut the door behind him with a gentle kick.

Now you two had the rest of the night to end the date right.

ONE MONTH LATER

“Again.” He grunted. Moving his arm to wrap around your middle, tugging you closer to him. The light touch of his metal hand brushed against the exposed part of your waistline. Causing you to shiver against him. Every part of his front was pressed into your back, making it hard to concentrate on anything other than curling your body to him.

“Please, I need a break.” You moaned, feeling the adrenaline start to wind down.

Bucky chose to ignore that, leaning down a bit so his lips barely brushed against your ear as he spoke. “You wanted this, darling.” Again you shivered. “Don’t make me ask again.”

“I’m getting a sense of deja vu.” You chuckled, returning to the same position as before. With your body facing him again, the man beneath you moved to have your leg wrap around his waist, giving him a good view of your body.

“Darling, I know you’ve got one more in you for me.” He said lowly. There was a rough gravel like sound in his voice, possibly from how loud he was earlier. Regardless, it managed to make the heat in your body pool down to your core again. Making you just as needy as he seemed to be at the moment.

“Can you give me one more, baby? Just one more time.”

The tone he cooed at you was making your head spin. Would everything about him make you this hot? Leaning down, you pressed your lips to kiss against his swollen ones, tasting the lingering taste of yourself from earlier.

“You’re killing me.” You chuckled, pulling away to catch a smirk appearing on his face. The bastard enjoyed teasing you way too much.

Reaching down between your bodies, you stare at Bucky’s face and grab hold of his cock. Watching the way his plump pink lips parted at the sensation. A quick glance showed you how hard and red the member was. Making you a little surprised that he was still this ready for you, even after having a go at it a few moments ago.

With a gentle couple of strokes, and a few teasing words yourself, you almost deny him the thing he really wants until his eyes snapped down at you. Watching the movement of your hands before he reached out to grip at your hips. “Darling..” he warned, looking more like a hungry lion than your sweet boyfriend.

“Don’t worry, baby.” You sighed, lifting up your hips to hover over his waist. “I need you too.” Aligning the tip of his cock to your core, you eased down onto his body, feeling the way he filled up inside of you perfectly.

“God,” he groaned, leaning his head to rest against your shoulder. “I’ll never get tired of this feeling.” He pressed soft kisses against your collar bone before his mouth wrapped around your exposed breast. The sensitive bud grew tighter the more his lips and teeth toyed with it.

It hasn’t been long since the two of you started this aspect of your relationship. After that first date, the most you two did was make out or cuddle in each other’s beds. It wasn’t till about two weeks ago that you finally were able to express more in the relationship through intimacy.

Bucky needed to take things slow at first. Something you didn’t mind at all, any moment with him was special. It was only a couple of first tries that he claimed to feel a little bit like someone he used to know.

“Move, Bucky. Please.” You whined, wrapping your arms around hsi neck. He stopped playing with your breast, giving the red skin one last kiss before he slipped back up to kiss you again. Without giving you a reply, he kept the kiss going as he began to snap his hips up into you. Making sure every thrust was strong and deep.

A chorus of moans is all that’s heard between the two of you. Mouths openly panting against each other as the pleasure seemed to grow.

The very pleasure that deliciously made you both weak. Whether it be for the perfect spot Bucky managed to hit, or from the way your pussy gripped tightly to his aching cock. The man beneath you seemed to need to stimulate you even more, licking the tip of his thumb before he reached down between you two. The calloused pad gently rubbed at your already sensitive bundle of nerves.

“I can’t!” You gasped, letting your head fall back as you moved your body to thrust against him now. A small dark smirk glossed over his face.

“You can handle it, darling. Let me make you feel good.”

He always enjoyed watching you become desperate for the release of an orgasm. Seeing the way you tried to squirm out of his grip. But even if he pulled back for a second, you’d manage to pull him back in. Rocking your hips to move harder on top of him. It drove him wild.

It was sudden when he held onto you tightly and turned the two of you over on your bed. Switching the positions now so that he was on top of you. It allowed him to push his cock deeper inside, slowly and slowly until he bottomed out. Having almost every part of him cover your body. The sensation earned his name to fall past your lips in a chant.

Eventually there was the overwhelming climax that was starting to approach you. The ache in your core grew stronger and it’d only be a couple of more thrusts until you were going to split apart. Falling into that heaven like state you always did after sex.

His head leaned down to meet yours, giving your lips a tender kiss before he moved to settle his face against your neck, biting and licking against the sweat coated skin. “I’m getting close.” He warned.

His breath was hot as it washed against you, making it hard to calm down. “Me too.” You groaned, moving your legs to hook around his waist. It gave for a better angle for him to thrust into. Causing the walls of your pussy to clench harder around his cock. He whined loudly, sounding a lot like a wolf to the moon. The better angel almost had him stopping his pumping.

“Come for me.” He groaned, snapping his hips at a pace that nearly had you bouncing underneath him. With the command of his deep voice and the fastened speed of his movements, it isn’t long till your body goes rigid, nails digging into the skin on his back as the wave of ecstasy washed over you.

The feeling of Bucky’s moan against the skin of your neck lets you know that he's reached his peak too. Followed up with the slowed and sloppy thrusts from his body. The soft mewls of content couldn’t stop coming from your lips as you searched for his lips, needing to feel him completely everywhere.

It’s only a few moments after that the two of you have stopped moving. Still tangled together, but now trying to calm down and get your breaths back to normal. Or at least that’s what you did while Bucky murmured praises against your body, kissing at his favorite spots before he’s pulled back to look down at you.

The post sex gaze of his always made you more shy than any look he’d give you before hand. Mostly because you weren’t sure anyone has ever looked at you with such adoration before. It always felt like he was seeing you in a light you couldn’t picture for yourself. “Have I told you how amazing you are?”

You shake your head, lifting your hand up to brush away a sweaty lock from his face. There’s a red hue to his lips and nose that has you dying to take a picture. But you settle for letting the tip of your finger trace over them until you’re cupping at his cheek.

“I feel like I should be telling you that.” He moved his face to nuzzle against your hand. Letting his lips press loving kisses against your wrist before he felt that wasn’t enough and leaned down to kiss you instead.

The weight of his body on top of yours was pleasant. Almost enough that you wished you could lie like that all night. But a glance over at the clock on your nightstand reminded you of the original purpose of the night. “Wait,” pushing a hand against his chest, you slowly helped get his body off of you. Forcing him to fall back against the mattress with a confused look.

“What’s wrong?”

Holding a hand up, you ignored the protests that your body had as you climbed off the bed, grabbing onto the nearest shirt on the floor and quickly stepping out onto the kitchen for the surprise you had for him. “It’s almost midnight and I don’t wanna miss giving you this.”

Returning to bed, you hold out a small single vanilla cupcake with chocolate frosting. It was from the bakery by the apartments, one that Bucky always seemed to linger by on your late night walks. “I know you said we shouldn’t celebrate because you missed out on my last one, but you’ve missed out on seventy of yours so I say screw that!”

“You didn’t have to get this just for me.” He sighed, still smiling a little at the small treat. While he picked off the wrapping slowly, you quickly reached under your bed and pulled out the small wrapped package.

The look of shock on his face was almost sweet if he didn’t have a small smudge of chocolate on the corner of his mouth. Leaning in, you give it a quick wipe with your thumb before kissing him quickly.

“The gift isn’t extravagant so don’t stress out about the price. But it’s not every day I get to celebrate the birth of Bucky Barnes. So please accept it.” You smiled, giving him the gift finally. He set the half eaten cupcake on the nightstand, licking at his fingertips before he gingerly placed the small item on the bed.

“You’ve already given me so much.” His eyes cast down, tearing at the brown tissue slowly until he got on with it and tore the rest off. Carefully, he examined the small journal, confused by the book before he glanced back up at you.

“I figured you’d like a more practical gift. And what’s more practical for you, than a journal where you can jot down any of your memories or thoughts? It beats having stacks of paper that can be torn, or misplaced, or-“

He’s pulled you back towards him, crashing his lips against yours as he poured in his emotions into the kiss. You happily pressed back, letting your hand come up to curl into the back of his neck. The mixture of Bucky and chocolate on his tongue was simply divine.

When he finally pulled back, he whispered out a small thank you before he stared at you. For a second it looked like he wanted to say more. “You’re incredible.” He sighed eventually, moving to pepper areas of your face with kisses that had your stomach leaping.

Moments like this were what reminded you how worth staying in Romania has been.

It wasn’t long till his hand slipped underneath the bottom of your shirt, tugging the material off and over your head as he pulled you back to lie in the bed. The all too familiar look of his blue eyes blown out was enough sign for you to tell where this was going.

But before any of the fun resumed, you leaned up and slanted your mouth against his once more. Needing just a bit of sweetness again.

“Happy Birthday, Bucky.”

A/N: Hi! I’m so sorry it’s been forever since I’ve updated. I had the absolute worst writers block. Plus! I really wanna make this chapter and chapter four special before we reach back to canon storyline. My writing for smut is questionable lol. I haven’t written it in so long. I hope you all enjoyed this~

TAGGED REQUESTS: @justanothermagicalsara

#bucky barnes fic #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes fanfic #bucky barnes smut #bucky x reader #bucky barnes x female #bucky barnes x female reader #marvel fanfic #marvel scenario #rtc

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andvys · 2 years

Text

The ghost of you

Warnings: Fluff, no spoilers but be ready to be sad besties

Pairing: Finnick Odair x female reader

This day seemed painfully long, every time you thought you were done with a task, happy to finally go home and spend time with him, someone would interrupt your leave and ask you to do something.

You were annoyed, frustrated, you didn't have much time with him in general. Only evening and nights. So you were beyond mad. It was getting dark outside already once you finally got home.

Stepping into your dark cold room, you walk towards the window, opening it, you lean against the frame for a moment as you stare out at the ocean, the sound of waves crashing on the shore.

The sound, the smell of it, reminding you of all the things you’ve lost.

A gust of wind blows through the room, a shiver runs down your spine.

Large hands touch the small of your back, his breath on your shoulder as he wraps his arms around your waist.

“There you are.” Finnick whispers, pulling you back against his chest.

For a moment he startled you, his usual warm hands so cold against your clothed skin but you immediately relax at the sound of his voice.

Smiling, you turn around to face him, his eyes lock with yours, a feeling of warmth overcoming you, you’re at home.

He is your home.

“Hi.” You whisper, wrapping your arms around him, you smile at your lover.

“Hi, I missed you my love.” He smiles as he leans in for a kiss.

Your lips meet his and with that all your worries, all your sadness; it all disappears. All it takes is his touch.

“I missed you too, Finn.” You mumble against his lips.

He smiles, squeezing your waist softly.

“It was a stressful day, I’m sorry it took so long.”

“It’s alright. You know I’ll wait forever for you.”

“Yeah? I’ll wait forever for you as well.” You smile.

A sad smile tugs at his lips. His grip on your waist tightening as he stares at you. His eyes flicker to the necklace around your neck, it’s his necklace. The one you broke when you accidentally tugged on it when he was making love to you.

You apologized a thousand times even though he told you it was okay, he chuckled even.

He left the necklace on your nightstand and after you repaired it, you never gave it back to him, instead you wore it yourself and he loves it. It suits you better than him.

“Will you ever wear one of the necklaces I gave you?” He asks, chuckling at the memory of your panicked expression as you cradled the broken necklace into your hands.

“Hmm, nope, I really love this one.” You say, pecking his lips softly.

Smiling at you, the adorable look on your face making his heart flutter in his chest, no matter how much time passes, you will always cause his heart to race, the butterflies dancing in his stomach.

“I really love you.” He whispers as he takes your left in his, admiring the pretty ring on your finger that he put there all this time ago. Placing a kiss on top of your hand, he closes his eyes for a moment, enjoying this moment right here.

Your touch, your warmth, your smell, you, the sound of waves, the salty air as the wind touches his skin gently making him feel more alive than ever.

“I really love you too.”

He smiles at you, pulling in for another kiss, this one being more passionate, filled with love and so so many emotions.

The kiss leaves you breathless but you want to keep going, not taking this moment for granted. You don’t care about the burning sensation in your lungs, the lack of air, you don’t care if you end up-

The sound of thunder rumbling in the distance startles you. Flinching at the sound, you break the kiss as your eyes meet Finnick’s concerned ones.

“You alright, love?”

“Y-Yes.” You nod “can you just hold me?”

He furrows his brows “of course.”

You lay down with him, he pulls you into his chest, as always. You close your eyes as you breathe in his scent. You miss him, you miss seeing him all day. The nights simply weren't enough for the both of you but you were separated during the day. The fight was over. The world was at peace now. You were free, finally able to live normally, unfortunately that meant being away from him all day, you both had two very different places to be at.

You hated it.

It felt like you were both in different worlds; only able to be with each other when the sun went down.

You lay there for a while, just enjoying the feeling of his arms around you, of his lips on your skin. He holds you so tightly, like it’s the last time.

“Tell me about your day.” He whispers.

You move up to face him, pecking his lips softly before you start talking about your day.

He smiles as he watches you, as he listens to your voice. The way you smile as you tell him a funny story. The way your eyes are locked with his the whole time, your grip on him tightening as you laugh at a memory he just recalled.

The sound of your laugh follows him everywhere.

He pulls you closer, caressing your skin gently, he reaches his hand up to touch your face. Tracing your lips, your nose, your cheeks, like he’s trying to memorize everything about you.

The look on his face grows serious, a sad, heavy look on his face as his eyes fill with tears.

You furrow your brows as you watch him, your stomach drops, like you already know.

“Finnick?”

You reach your hand out to touch his face, to wipe his tears away.

“(Y/n).” He starts, closing his eyes for a moment. Unable to speak up. He takes this moment, to feel your touch once more.

“W-What?”

“You have to let me go, my love.”

And just like that your heart shattered into a million pieces, once again.

Shaking your head, you sit up quickly, staring at him as if you don’t quite understand what he’s talking about.

“N-No, w-what are you saying?” You mumble, the thumbing of your heart so loud in your ears, it’s almost painful.

“You know what I’m saying.” He whispers shakily, tears falling as he gets up, getting down on his knees in front of you, he takes your hands in his, looking up at you, his tear filled eyes lock with yours.

The look in your eyes so so broken.

He hates this, he hates it so much.

If he could go back, he never would've left that morning. He promised you; he promised you that he’d stay out of the fight but he broke the promise, all you had left of him was his necklace, your ring and the ghost of him.

He didn't want to die, he didn't want to leave you behind and yet he did.

You can’t hold your tears in any longer, you drop to your knees in front of him as you start crying.

He wastes no second in pulling you into his arms. His own heart breaking at the sound of you crying. The way you cling to his body, your hands gripping him so tightly, like you hold on for dear life.

“F-Finnick.” You sob, you grip the material of his shirt as you bury your face in his chest.

You knew you couldn't run from this moment, you knew he wasn't actually here, he died, a long time ago but it still felt like it just happened yesterday.

The wound was still fresh. Your heart was still broken.

His nightly visits, kept it together until now; now it was shattered.

You hoped that you would never have to speak of this, that you could keep going like this until the day you’d die and you could finally be with him again but deep down you knew it was impossible. With every visit; his touch faded more and more.

It felt like your heart was ripped out of your chest, the pain so unbearable. You know you have to let him go but how? How can you let go of someone you love so much?

“I-I can’t.”

He cries with you, his cold hands holding you so tightly, he doesn't want to let go of you. He would give everything to be here with you, to stay with you forever, even like this but he kept you from a living a real life.

He couldn't do this to you anymore, having you live with the ghost of him when there is a whole life waiting for you.

“Please don’t leave me, I can’t do this without you.”

You can feel his touch is fading, his body feeling colder and so does this room and your soul.

“Please s-stay.” You beg, your tears keep falling, your body is shaking uncontrollably.

He wants to, so bad, but he can’t.

He cups your face, tilting your head up to make you look at him. Wiping away your tears is useless as they continue falling, just as heavy as the rain falls outside.

The look on his face so broken and defeated. He wishes things were different but they aren't.

“I will never leave you. I will always be with you, right here.” He whispers, as he puts his hand on your chest, right over your heart.

“I need you here with me, Finnick.” You cry unable to calm down. You were experiencing this heartbreak all over again and you couldn't bare it.

He smiles through his tears, caressing your cheek softly.

“My love, you need to live your life-”

“There is no life without you.” You shake your head.

God this hurts, it hurts so much, it would be easier to just die.

So many times you wished you were dead but you were still here and you hated it, you hated every second of every day you spent without him.

“Yes there is. There is a beautiful life waiting for you- something that I can’t give you right now. So you keep going, you live your life, for yourself, for me and I’ll wait for you, I’ll wait forever for you, (y/n).”

You shake your head, mumbling ‘please stay’ over and over again as you bury your face in his neck, crying, more than you ever have before.

You couldn't say goodbye the last time but now you had the chance and it broke you. It shattered your heart and your soul.

“I love you so much, (y/n).” He whispers, crying as you continue begging him to stay.

“I love you too, so much.” You whimper.

The storm rages outside, the rain falling as if heaven’s crying with you.

“Please don’t go, not yet.”

He scoops you up in his arms, laying you back down on the bed. You waste no time in pulling him down with you, holding his hands so tightly, afraid that he’ll disappear any moment.

“Please.” You beg,

“I’m here, my sweet girl.” He whispers, pulling you into his arms one last time.

He touches you gently, lovingly.

He holds you, he kisses you so many times, he touches you so softly, he wipes away your tears and pulls you closer as he inhales your scent, he listens to your voice for the last time, for now.

He watches you fall asleep in his arms for the last time in this life, he watches you with a smile on his face and tears in his eyes. He loves you so much, he doesn't want to let you go but he has to.

“I will wait for you, my love.” He whispers, kissing your forehead. A tear drop falling on your face, one that he wipes away so quickly, afraid that you’ll wake up, making it impossible for him to leave.

“I’ll always be here with you. I love you, (y/n).”

He doesn't say goodbye cause it isn't a goodbye, it will never be a goodbye. He is still with you and you are still with him. In life or death, you will always find your way to each other.

You wake up in the middle of the night. Panicked as you open your eyes to find him gone.

“Finnick?” You call out as you get up from the bed. Looking around the room anxiously, you call out his name once again.

Panic flooding through you as you run through your house, trying to find him but all you’re met with is a dark and empty house. No voice calling out for you, no hands reaching out to you.

Tears blur your vision as realization sinks in.

“No.. no.. no..” You mumble as you put your hand on your chest. Your heart is racing, your lungs feeling so tight as you start crying.

“F-Finnick!”

You know he’s gone, deep down you know it and yet you still run outside, searching for him. The cold rain falling down on you, hitting your skin as your run towards the beach.

The spot he kissed you for the first time.

The spot he said his first ‘I love you.’

The spot he proposed to you.

“Finn!” You scream as you stop running. Your bare feet touching the cold, wet sand.

The storm rages, the thunder crashing so loudly that your ears ring but you don’t care. The rain mixed with your tears run down your face. The waves crash against the shore, the cold water hitting your feet.

“Finnick.” You whisper defeatedly.

He’s gone.

Dropping down to your knees, you clutch your- his necklace tightly as you start crying.

Your body is shaking, not from the cold water but from the pain, from all the crying, from the heartbreak.

You lost him not once but twice and this time you knew, you would never be okay again.

He died and so did you.

Your tears run freely as you sob loudly, the storm concealing the sound of your weeping.

Heaven really is crying with you.

The moment you step back inside your home, you realize how cold and empty it really is, this isn't your home, your home is gone.

You can’t even find the energy to get into the shower despite the cold water that makes you feel so uncomfortable.

Your eyes fall on the sweater laying on your bed. Walking towards it, you pick it up. It's his sweater. His scent is still there. You sit down on the floor, clutching his sweater in your shaky hands you pull it up towards your face, inhaling his scent as you continue crying.

You refuse to believe that it was the last time you’ve seen him.

So you wait, you wait every night for him to come back.

But he never does.

He never came back.

#finnick x reader #finnick x you #finnick odair x reader #finnick odair x you #finnick odair imagine #finnick odair angst #finnick odair #finnick imagine #finnick angst #finnick fluff #thg imagine #thg fluff #thg angst #thg imagines #the hunger games imagine #hunger games imagine #thg finnick #finnick

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hops-hunny · 3 years

Text

Stories That Are Told

Pairing: Tarrant “Hatter” Hightopp x Reader

Pronouns: She/Her

Word Count: 2.2k

Summary: (Y/n)’s so used to being the background character in everyone’s story that she forget she can be the main character in her own.

Warnings: Slight angst but majority fluff!

A/N: I love this man with my whole being omg pls

Stumbling into Wonderland with Alice had been a wonderful thing for not only Alice, but (Y/n) as well. For Alice it was an escape from all the things she didn’t wanna do and would never wanna do. She wasn’t forced to marry some sod of a guy who’d make her miserable for the rest of her life or to be the proper lady she was expected to be, but instead she got a taste of freedom. And although it was an escape for (Y/n) as well, it was an escape of a different kind.

In the other world, with it’s dreary skies and monotonous patterns and cycles, (Y/n) lived a very humdrum life. Her family had never been as fortunate as Alice in any ways of the sorts, it was a miracle that they were friends to begin with. Alice’s father had been friends with (Y/n)’s since boyhood and because of that, he always made sure they knew they were welcome to anything of his that they wished. And while (Y/n)’s father had never taken advantage of that from the way Alice’s mother treated (Y/n) and her family, it wouldn’t be hard to think otherwise.

When Charles was still around, she hadn’t done anything out of line. The older woman always kept to herself, occasionally having an afternoon cup of tea with her own mom. However, her true colors and feelings came to light after the passing of her husband. During the next few months after her husband’s absence, the (L/n)s were there for Kingsleighs. Although they didn’t have the funds to help them monetarily (for they also didn’t need it), they offered their labor and services to the two as much as they needed. Farm work, house cleaning, garden maintenance. Anything you could think they had done. But as soon as Helen was well (as well as you could be after losing someone so dear) , she had forbid them from coming to their property. She didn’t believe her and Alice should associate with people of “such low stature” because it didn’t “align with their image”. But that had never stopped Alice.

Anywhere Alice went, (Y/n) was always there by her side right along with her. They practically went everywhere together and that hadn’t changed since they arrived in Wonderland. (Y/n) was grateful that she had chased after her friend. It was like she knew something would happen. Afterall, crazy things always happen when you put two curious girls together for more than a moment. The friends they had made since they arrived were nothing short of lovely. She knew her sister would describe them as odd characters and disturbing individuals. Telling her to stay far away from them and to not associate herself with those types. But what was wrong with being odd or even disturbing? The only things worth doing in life were a bit odd and disturbing and if that made her peculiar than so be it.

For the first time in her life, she felt as though she belonged. Sure, it wasn’t her story nor her destiny to be here as it was Alice but that did not mean she did not appreciate Wonderland for what it was. The story had never been her story, not here, and certainly not where they were from. Alice was the main chat and she was the topic that would get trickled in after.

“Everyone has a part to play, (Y/n). Even if it is not large or as set in stone, each person’s role is necessary for the story to progress, even yours. You’ll see.” the words of that tricky caterpillar replayed in her head over and over again whenever she had a moment to think. What had he meant by that? Was her story not more than to be here in support of her dearest friend and the latest edition to their friends? Was she not just a tool in the scheme of things? (Y/n) had never known people of lesser importance as herself to contribute much of anything big to a legacy as large as Alice’s!

From her end of the table, she watched as Hatter threw his hat high into the air before it landed on his head causing everyone to erupt in a jostled mess of laughter and cheering. She smiled fondly from a far. Tarrant was a kind man. No matter what was going on or where they were, he always had a way of making her feel included. That’s just who he was. He had known what it was like to feel excluded from things and the last thing he’d wanna do is be the cause of that for someone else. But it was nothing more than his nature, that’s it.

“You know, you should just tell him how you feel.” a velvety voice sounded from beside her ear causing her to jump. The (h/c) haired girl glared at the purple cat, reaching a hand to swat him away but he disappeared once more before appearing on her other side. “He watches you often, even when there is not many around to see. But I always do of course.” The Cheshire cat said in a sure tell tone. The girl scoffed at him, shoving another small pastry into her mouth.

“I’m not in the mood for one of your jokes today, cat. So if you’ve come to mock my feelings during my 2nd to last day in Wonderland, I wish you well and send you off.” she huffed out, crossing her arms across her chest, turning her gaze away from him back to Tarrant who was already looking at her. The Hatter gave her a secret wink and a smile before turning back to the March Hare who seemed rather frazzled about something. Or perhaps excited. But once again, the grinning cat appeared in front of her face once more.

“Silly girl, you ignore the plain truth in front of you? I can see why you and Alice get along so well, both of you can be quite foolish. Oh well, the story isn’t over yet after all.” and with that he was gone. What did he mean by that? The story was clearly over. Alice had done what she set out to do. The Jabberwocky had been slain, the White Queen ruled once again, and all had been made well. And what was with everyone with stories? Not everything you can do will always be a story and not every story comes to an end. She decided not to dwell much on it. This was her last night she’d ever spend in Wonderland and she’d rather like to keep it in good memory.

So when the White Queen offered her a hand to dance she took it, their dresses swaying in the wind in oppositional unison. They all danced with one another, twirling, laughing, and having a grand time. The entire time the smile never once left (Y/n)’s face which a certain hatted man enjoyed with all his being.

--------------------------------------------

“I can’t believe you’re leaving today. It seems as if it was only yesterday when you arrived.” the girl swiveled around to see the red head there, a bittersweet smile on his face. His smile grew once she turned to face him. Removing his hat, he bowed as he grabbed one of her hands placing a delicate kiss to the top of it. “I am delighted to have known a woman as graceful as you.” hot tears sprung into her eyes which she quickly got rid of before he stood up. Giggling some she hopped onto the large sit swing, motioning for him to join her.

“Don’t get sad yet, Hatter. I’ve still got a few hours left. You can’t rid of me that easily.” he joined her on the swing, a wide grin still on his face. Although it was partly real, she could tell there was some sadness lingering behind it. (Y/n) turned her gaze to the sight in front of them. From the large benched swing, you could see just about all of wonderland over the edge of the cliff. “Besides, there’s not much to miss. I’m just me.”

“And ‘just you’ is a lot! I’ll miss everything about you. The way you mimic the bird calls you hear, the way you get excited when the rock you skipped across the water goes further than you imagined,” she looked at him in shock as he continued to speak, “E-even the smaller things like how you leave the crust of your sandwich for last and give your crumbs to the ants. But I think more importantly I’ll...I’ll just miss your presence.” he said the last part softly, staring off the edge of the cliff to avoid her gaze. A million thoughts raced through her heads as he spoke. Could it really be? Could he really share the same feelings as she did? (Y/n) reached a shaky (s/c) hand to lay on top of Hatter’s pale one, intertwining their fingers.

“Hatter, I've got something to tell you. During my time here in Wonderland, I’ve enjoyed every second I’ve had with everyone. But more importantly, I’ve enjoyed my time so much with you and I believe it’s only fair to share with you that my feelings I have for you go beyond those of normal friendship. I guess you can say I’ve grown...quite mad for you.” his head whipped to face her as he stared into her eyes, tears welling within his own. He flashed her another smile except this one was genuine, filled with the love and warmth he had shown her the entirety of her time in Wonderland.

“(Y/n)! Alice sent me to fetch you. I’m afraid it’s time for the two of you to head back.”

-----------------------------

After a lot of shedded tears, heartfelt speeches, and goodbyes that were nothing short of wholesome, it was time for the two to head home. Alice patted (Y/n)’s shoulder before holding her arm out for her to grab. As they neared the portal, (Y/n) turned around once more to stare at her friends but when she got to Tarrant, her heart began to break. The gaze they held with one another was long until she simply couldn’t take it. Without thinking she ran up to him once more, grabbing his shoulders tightly.

“Hatter, Tarrant, I need to know how you feel. I couldn’t live with myself if I left and never knew.” he shook his head, looking away from her as he tried to stop the waterworks that were withheld behind the dam. Hot tears streamed down the delicate skin of the girl’s face. “Hatter...please.” her voice was broken as she begged.

“I believe I wasn’t honest myself either. I am completely enamored by you, my dear. I wish I had said something sooner but even though I couldn’t, I’ll always hold a special place for you in here.” he said, placing a hand over his heart. Standing on the tips of her toes, she leaned forward placing a quick peck to his cheek.

“What if it isn’t too late? What if I stayed?” she started, watching as he shook his head, “Hatter listen! You may think I’d regret if I stay but I think I would regret even more not following my heart the first time it’s ever tried to tell me something. Nothing would make me happier than staying here with you...that is if you’d allow it.” a silence fell over as everyone awaited his answer. Without another thought Hatter leaned down, pressing his lips to hers. The kiss was soft and sweet. Filled with a silent promise, a silent vow to care for her as deeply as his heart will allow.

“I do not know what I did to get so lucky, but I would do it again if needed.” she felt herself grow flustered at his words. A quick peck was placed on his lips before walking over to Alice once again. The blonde had tears of her own in her eyes. She was glad her friend had found something to fight for, something to call her own. But also for the first time in many years, they would not see each other everyday as they once did. They both stared at each other before throwing themselves into each other's arms, laughing in unison as bittersweet tears fell.

“Good luck. Make sure you put your foot down. You’re Alice! You listen to no one and march to no one’s drum but your own.” Alice gave her a curt nod.

“Take care. We’ll meet again, do not doubt it.”

Although Alice’s story had seemingly come to an end, it seemed as though (Y/n)’s story was just beginning. For once she wasn’t the side character in someone’s tale, but the main character in her own.

TAGSLIST: @de4ds0up @pink-hufflepuff @redpanda-poetry

#hatter #alice in wonderland #hatter x reader #tarrant hightopp #tarrant hightopp x reader #mad hatter x reader #alice in wonderland x reader #hatter hightopp x reader

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writemywaytoyourheart · 3 years

Text

Aim For The Heart | Chapter 16: Heartstrings

Pairing: hitman!jungkook x female reader

Genre: romance, drama, angst, fluff

WC: 7.3k

Warnings for this chapter: strong language, teenage heartbreak :(, two bumbling fools that are emotionally constipated, I think that’s it

summary; Jeon Jungkook is an infamous hitman, known for his inability to fail at whatever job is thrown his way. At least, up until now. Y/n, a kind-hearted and full of life teacher, is his newest target. Jeon isn’t sure who would put a hit on this seemingly innocent girl, but fortunately, that isn’t his problem. All he has to do is pull the trigger.

Previous > Next

6 years ago:

"Mina, I'm so nervous!"

Mina laughs lightly at the way you bounce up and down on your bed, "It'll be fine, ____! He'll totally like you back, girl don't even worry about it!"

You let out a nervous giggle as you jump off your bed and run to your closet, "What should I wear?"

"____, you literally have a school uniform," Mina laughs again.

You turn and pout at her, "Heyy, I know that! I was asking which one I should wear, the burgundy socks or the white ones? Tie or no tie? Blazer or no blazer? Long-sleeved or short?"

Mina shakes her head in amusement, "You're cute and he'll think so no matter what you wear," She rubs her chin in thought, "But definitely the white socks, the burgundy tie with the grey sweater vest instead of the blazer, and long sleeves."

You do a little dancy dance of excitement before grabbing the decided clothes out of your closet and hurrying to pull them on. Mina is already dressed in her uniform, waiting patiently as she sits on your bed.

When you're all ready to go, you grab the little box on your bedside table and run out of your room, causing Mina to stumble after you.

_______

By the time lunch rolls around, you're buzzing with excitement at the prospect of getting to see him.

Not to mention being able to finally tell him how you feel.

Mina is by your side the whole way to your locker as you grab the little box out.

She nudges your shoulder as you two walk to the cafeteria, "You can do this, ____."

You nod, your tummy all in knots to the point that you're not sure if you'll even be able to eat.

Despite that, you finish everything on your tray while your legs bounce in anticipation.

Once you two make your way outside to the field, you are trying your hardest not to hightail it back inside. Mina holds your arm though, preventing you from doing so.

"You can't back out now, babe."

Mina's words terrify you but you know she's telling the truth, you can't just go on without at least trying.

A bunch of kids are milling around outside, some of the boys showing off to the girls as they size how tall they are compared to each other.

Then you see him, in all his glory.

He's standing in the field with a few other boys from his class, chatting.

His dark blonde hair glistens in the sunlight as he laughs at something one of his friends said.

You feel your heart leap to your throat and you freeze, "I- I can't..."

"____," Mina turns to you, placing her hands on your shoulders, "I am not about to let you give up now, not right before you do it! Just go over there. If you can't speak, then just hand it to him, simple as that. He'll understand when he opens it anyway."

You nod stiffly, "What about his friends?" Your voice shakes, "I'm scared to do it in front of them."

Mina nods, "I got this."

You're about to protest but she's gone, already marching her way over to them.

You watch in embarrassment as Mina taps one of the boys on the shoulder. He turns and smiles when he sees her. Mina is gorgeous, of course he'd smile when she spoke to him.

You're really her only friend, as she is yours, but the boys are constantly swarming around her nonetheless.

You start to feel self-conscious when you see the boy making your heart thump heavily look at Mina and smile brightly.

Shoot, what if he likes her?

You can't compare to her.

Besides, she's your best friend, you'd give him up for her if she wanted him.

You'd do anything for her.

You snap out of it when you see Mina leading the two boys that were with him away, then she gestures at you behind her back.

You force your feet to move as you hurry over to him before he moves on to talk with someone else.

Just as he's turning, you're coming up.

He almost bumps into you, a surprised gasp slipping from his lips as he notices you.

"Oh, sorry! I didn't see you there."

You smile crookedly, "It's- It's fine!" You squeak out.

His smile widens as he looks at you, "You're ____, right? Tenth grade?"

You nod like a darn bobblehead, your words suddenly stuck in your throat.

He's so handsome.

And cute.

And sweet.

And thoughtful.

And-

"I'm Jimin," He reaches a hand out to you, "It's nice to officially meet you."

You take his hand, letting him shake it as his bright smile continues to beam.

"I know, um," You need to get it together, "You're in eleventh."

He nods, "Yes, only one and a half years left of these ridiculous uniforms," He chuckles.

You nod stupidly, "Uh, yeah," A nervous laugh slips from your mouth.

Just do it, rip it off like a band-aid.

"I uh- I have something for you."

He looks at you with curiosity, his pretty eyes glancing down to the box in your hands.

Then his smile fades.

Your heart stops in your chest when you see the look of recognition on his face.

He's been confessed to before, of course he has.

Your shoulders slump.

You just want the ground to open up and swallow you.

He looks back up at you and gives you a gentle smile.

The smile of rejection.

"____, you're really sweet-"

Oh, no.

"I would say yes in a heartbeat, really. You're different from the other girls here, you care about people, I can tell. I've seen it-"

"But?" Your voice comes out as a whisper.

His smile turns sad, "But there's a girl I like already. I'm sorry, ____."

It feels like someone just tore out your heart and stomped it into the ground.

You don't say anything.

You can't.

It hurts too much.

You just open the box and pull out the note, tucking it into your palm before closing the box again and handing it to him.

Jimin takes it reluctantly, still watching you carefully, his eyes sad and regretful.

"____-"

"I hope you like the cookies," You smile at him, finally meeting his eyes, "Just think of it as a friendship gift, nothing more."

Jimin nods, still looking guilty as hell.

"I hope it works out for you Jimin, I really do."

"Thank you, ____."

Then you turn and walk away, pieces of your heart falling behind you with each step you take.

A minute later you hear Mina calling to you, but you don't stop.

You hurry inside and to the locker rooms.

You're hiding in a stall when you hear the door to the girls' locker room open and Mina's voice call out, "____, are you in here?"

You don't answer and a moment later the door shuts, leaving you alone with your thoughts.

You curl up, pulling your knees to your chest as the tears finally come.

You wish you could just disappear.

The thought that you need to see him the rest of this school year and the next before he leaves is sickening.

Your heart has never hurt more than it does now, it feels like a bunch of swords are impaling it over and over again.

Fourth grade.

You had liked him since you were in fourth grade, he was in sixth.

It was the day that you had tripped and spilled your lunch tray all over yourself.

This angel had appeared, pulling you to your feet with the brightest smile you'd ever seen. He had taken you to get another uniform in the office and even got you another tray of food.

He only ever said hello in passing after that, but you were infatuated.

You thought you had loved him.

Another sob cuts through the silence in the locker room as you realize you don't want it anymore.

You hope you never fall for anyone again.

Love is just a terrible joke, made to hurt the weakest, the ones that fall for it.

________________

"____?"

The handsome man standing before you makes your heart lurch.

What kind of joke is this?

You take a step back and clear your throat, "P-P-Park J-Jimin?"

His smile returns as he lets out a small laugh of disbelief, "You remember me?"

You nod reluctantly.

Jimin looks into your eyes just like he did that one day in elementary school, an angel appearing out of nowhere to save you.

"But, how?" He asks, clearly bewildered, "After the accident, you never..."

You suddenly realize you're standing there like an idiot, so you open the door wider and gesture for him to come in.

He walks in and sets the pizza you ordered on your kitchen table.

"D-Do you have t-t-time to talk?" You ask bravely.

Jimin nods, "Of course."

You two end up on the couch, an awkward silence falling around you.

You can't look him in the eyes because every time you do, he's just staring at you like you're the lost puppy he'd been looking for for years.

"It's been so long," Jimin says quietly, "It's been like six years since we actually spoke."

You nod, "The d-d-day you rejected me."

When you look up at him he looks heartbroken, so you give him a small smile, "I'm j-just giving you a hard t-t-time."

Jimin nods sadly, "I'm so confused. I just- I thought you had forgotten me after you were in the hospital..."

You say nothing so he continues, "No, you did. You did forget about me, I tried talking to you and-"

"I know," You whisper, "I'm s-s-sorry Jimin, but I lied."

That makes him freeze.

"You and M-Mina were the only two I r-r-really remembered."

It's silent for a minute, then he whispers, hurt, "But why?"

You look back at him, "It h-h-hurt too much to talk to y-you. I'm sorry."

Jimin nods sadly, "Don't apologize, I understand. But, how did you remember me?"

You laugh, embarrassed, "I had k-kind of been in l-l-love with you since elementary s-school."

Jimin's eyes bulge out of his head, "What?"

"Yeah, since w-we met. After you had h-h-helped me clean the mess I made." Jimin looks lost for a minute, then his eyes light up with recognition, "Oh! Oh, really?"

You nod, another laugh slipping out.

"So, you didn't lose your memory of me...because you still had your memories from elementary school?"

Another nod.

"But then, how did you remember me rejecting you?" The words taste bitter in his mouth.

You shrug, "I don't know, I j-j-just did. A few th-things came b-back to me after leaving the h-hospital."

"I'm sorry that had to be one of them," Jimin whispers.

"It's o-okay, you had n-no obligation to like me b-back," You take a deep breath, already feeling better after getting that off your chest, "Whatever h-happened to the girl y-y-you had liked? Did you a-ask her out?"

Jimin nods with a sad smile, "Yeah."

"A-And?"

"We dated until college...then I found out she cheated on me and we broke up."

Your heart breaks at that, "J-Jimin, I'm so-sorry."

"Don't be, it was for the best."

You sit in more silence for a bit, but this time it feels more comfortable.

Then Jimin speaks up again, "So what are you up to these days, ____? Any special man in your life?" He wiggles his eyebrows at you jokingly.

You laugh, "I am a k-k-kindergarten t-teacher."

Jimin's eyes light up, "Really? Congratulations, ____. You seriously deserve it."

"Th-Thank you. And w-what about you?"

Jimin sighs and gestures at his outfit, "Clearly I'm not as successful as you," You laugh and shake your head as he continues, "I'm just working this delivery job until I get my foot in the door for some journalist positions."

Your eyes grow wide, "R-Really?"

He nods, "I've always wanted to be a reporter, a journalist, something like that. It's a lot harder than it looks though."

You nod, "W-Well I'm rooting for y-you."

"Thank you," He smiles warmly at you, "You were always the sweetest."

You blush at that and Jimin continues, "You never answered my previous question," He squints at you playfully as he points at you, "Any special guys?"

You're about to shake your head, then Jungkook pops into your brain.

His dark eyes penetrating your thoughts, his rosebud lips sneaking into your mind.

Jimin sees you hesitate and a knowing smile grows on his face, "Ah-ha! There is someone!"

You look at him, blushing profusely, "Th-There isn't-"

"Liar!" Jimin cackles, clapping his hands, "You are so in love!"

His words startle you, "I'm n-not! It isn't l-like that."

Jimin wipes at the gleeful tears in his eyes as he leans closer to you, inspecting your face carefully.

"I know that look, ____. You're smitten."

You splutter, "I-I-I am n-not smitten!"

Jimin smirks at you and you fight the urge to smack him.

Then he glances around your living room, "It's beautiful in here, did you decorate it yourself?"

You nod proudly, glad he's changed the subject.

You two make small talk for a few more minutes, just catching up on life.

Then Jimin looks at his watch, "Shit, I gotta go. Bossman will be livid with me for taking so long," He stands up and you follow him to the door.

"Thanks for having me, ____. It was wonderful to catch up with you."

You smile brightly, "I'm s-s-so glad that we were able to m-meet again."

Jimin gives you one last smile as he walks out the door, but before you can close it, he turns around, "Do you..."

You raise an eyebrow in question.

"Do you think we could meet up again sometime? Grab a coffee or something?"

You nod happily, "I w-w-would love that."

You end up exchanging numbers before he hurries on his way.

Closing the door, a huge smile spreads on your face.

Park Jimin.

Your first love.

Delivering a pizza to your door.

Who would've thought?

After a moment to process, you start to giggle uncontrollably.

What the heck just happened?

_____________

Jungkook is jogging up the stairs leading to your apartment when a pizza delivery guy comes down at the same time.

He smiles at Jungkook and moves past him.

Thinking nothing of it, Jungkook hurries to your door and knocks three times, waiting anxiously.

The door opens rather quickly like you'd been standing there.

"Ji- oh..."

Your eyes are wide as you stare at Jungkook.

He gives you a small smile, "Um, hi."

He sees you swallow thickly as you observe him, it takes you a minute to respond.

"H-Hi."

Jungkook bites his lip, not sure how to go about saying what he wants to say next.

"W-What are y-you doing here?" You beat him to it.

The way you say it makes his stomach turn a little.

When he doesn't respond, you sigh and reach up to rub your tired eyes, "J-Jungkook..."

He wishes he could say something, anything.

But it's like every single word he's ever known is suddenly gone out of his brain and he knows nothing.

You look so sleepy, the events from the past week are probably weighing on you right now.

Jungkook thinks as his gaze drifts over your exhausted face, his heart pulling apart in his chest as Mina's story comes barreling back into his mind.

After another beat of silence, Jungkook finally finds his voice and you decide to be honest with him at the same time.

"____, will you go somewhere with me-"

"J-Jungkook I'm t-tired of th-this-"

You both shut up and look at the other.

Jungkook's heart sinks in his chest at your words.

Your own heart feels like someone is poking at it with a sharp stick.

"What?" Jungkook whispers.

You cover your face with your hands, "I- I j-just..."

"Can I come in? Please?" Jungkook asks hopefully, wanting to correct things before shit hits the fan.

You nod and open the door wider for him to slip inside.

He immediately notices the pizza box on the table and his mind wanders back to the guy passing him earlier. He lets it go as he stands there, waiting for you to shut the door.

You do, then you walk over to the couch and plop down, curling your legs up and tucking them near you as you grab a pillow and hold it tightly to your chest.

Jungkook takes a few very deep and very calming breaths before walking over to the couch to sit down.

He needs to just keep breathing, or else he'll mess shit up again with his stupidity.

You fidget quietly as Jungkook stares at the Barbie movies in the glass cabinet under the TV. He doesn't know why he can't seem to look away from them.

"She just finds comfort in things like coloring, watching movies, eating sweets. Her brain was damaged, badly. But it's gotten so much better since then, she's made so much progress. She might act like a kid sometimes, but she isn't one and doesn’t think she is. ____ was innocent before and she's innocent now-"

Jungkook's breath hitches as he remembers Mina's words.

"Did y-you speak t-to M-Mina?"

Jungkook turns to you when you speak up quietly, noticing the way you won't even look at him. Your eyes are locked on the pillow in front of you as you pick at the loose threads.

"Yeah," He mumbles back.

You finally raise your eyes to his, "I- I think you sh-should leave."

Jungkook's heart stutters painfully.

"____, I need to talk to you."

"A-About what?"

"I-..." What does he say? He needs to get you out of here, he's run out of time, "I know this sounds dumb, but would you go somewhere with me? Just for a little bit."

You just stare at him, your eyes reflecting a pain he's never seen in you before, even after he was horrible to you in the rain, even after his dumb ass forced you to go home and ruined your day.

This pain is a first.

He shifts his body towards you more, "____, what's going on? Are you oka-"

"No."

He freezes, his mind short-circuiting at your bitter response.

"No, I'm n-not. I'm n-n-not okay."

You can see the way his eyes flicker back and forth between yours and it makes your heart race.

You can't handle this.

You don't like pain, you don't like it.

You always run from it.

Maybe you are just a child.

More reason to put an end to this anyway.

The insecurities swarming your head finally come out, in an angry huff of air, startling Jungkook when you stand up abruptly, still gripping the pillow.

"I n-n-need you to leave."

Jungkook stands up too, his tall frame looming over you and making you look down at the ground.

"I can't," He mutters.

Your eyes trail up to his, anger burning in them.

Why is life so unfair?

Why can't someone just like you, for you?

Why does reality always have to come and bite you in the butt?

"Go to M-Mina," You seethe.

Jungkook looks at you like you're crazy, his mind going in circles trying to figure out what the hell you're talking about.

"____, what?"

"You h-h-heard me," You swallow the lump in your throat.

Curse this stupid stutter.

You can't even tell someone something and be taken seriously.

Jungkook shakes his head slowly, his confused gaze locked on your angered one.

"Why would I want to go to her?"

You scoff, making Jungkook take a step back to observe you in disbelief.

What happened to you?

Were you really that mad about him asking you for her number? He didn't need it because he liked that brat, he needed it because he needs to save you.

But you don't know that.

How could he expect you to?

"Just...get o-out," Your voice is thick with tears.

Jungkook shakes his head again and takes a step towards you, his hand stretched out.

But you step back, away from him.

"Stop h-h-hurting me!" You suddenly raise your voice. It isn't anywhere near a yell but it shocks him enough. You never raise your voice...

"I'm sorry-"

You close your eyes and take a long breath as if to calm yourself down.

"I kn-know you like M-Mina. Don't m-make me hurt anymore by h-having to let go while y-y-you're standing right in f-front of me!"

Jungkook steps forward and grabs your hand, but you don't open your eyes.

You dare not look at him.

Not ever again.

Or you'll break.

You love Mina more than anything, you'd do anything for her.

That's why she was always pushing you away from Jungkook.

She likes him.

And of course, he likes her back.

The pain in your heart is causing your breath to shorten.

If you look at him now, you won't have the strength to give him up for her.

"____, I swear I don't like her-"

It isn't true.

"I just needed to ask her something!"

Stop trying to spare me the pain, just leave me alone.

"____, please look at me," Jungkook pleads.

No.

You shake your head, keeping your eyes closed tight.

Jungkook sighs in exasperation, "I had to ask her about your accident!!"

At that, your watery eyes slowly open.

Jungkook breathes a sigh of relief when he sees your beautiful eyes land on him.

Then you take your hand out of his and he feels his next breath stutter.

"What?" You whisper.

The words get caught in his throat for a second before he's able to shove them out, "I had to ask her about Kihyun, and the accident...I'm sorry I didn't tell you, but I swear ____, I don't like her like that. Hell, I don't like her at all! Not to mention she hates my guts!"

Your jaw clenches and Jungkook wants to just beg you to listen to him, to please not be mad and just listen to him.

"I w-was in a c-c-car accident..."

Jungkook does a double-take at your words.

"What d-d-d-does that have t-to do with you or Kihyun? How is th-that any of your business?!"

Jungkook just stares at you as your face turns red, "I w-want you to leave me alone p-please. Stop playing w-with my h-heart and running out on m-me."

Jungkook feels like he's about to explode.

With anger, sadness, regret, and this weird protective stuffy feeling he gets when he's around you.

"I'm sorry-"

"And I f-forgave you."

He flinches at that.

"But an empty a-apology means n-nothing, J-Jungkook."

"It-...It isn't empty. ____, I know I'm stupid, I'm a grade A idiot! A fucking moron! But I never meant to hurt you by running out, I just- I panicked..." He's fumbling over his words, not even understanding what he's trying to say at this moment.

"W-Why would you g-go behind my back to t-talk about me?! Why not j-just come to me??"

"I didn't think you-"

"Didn't think I r-remembered it?"

Your voice is bitter, laced with hurt.

Jungkook nods slowly.

You scoff, "Y-You're right, I d-d-don't. I had to rely on M-Mina to tell me that m-my family died in a c-c-car crash and I w-was the only one that survived."

His chest hurts.

"Did y-you want to m-make fun of m-me? Figure out exactly w-why I sp-sp-speak like a fr-freak? Why everyone t-t-treats me like a ch-child?"

Jungkook's brows furrow, "Why on earth would you ever think something like that?"

"B-Because I'm n-not like you, J-Jungkook. You c-could get any g-g-girl that you want, but I w-was stupid enough to th-think it would be-...never m-mind."

Jungkook's brain is racing, he has no idea what you're getting at.

He doesn't understand what the hell girls are thinking or trying to say.

He knows he's an idiot, he doesn't know how to fix that.

But he needs to fix this.

And quickly.

He steps forward to grab your hands again, but this time you don't pull away, "____, I never meant to make you think I was using you to get to Mina if that's how you feel. I wasn't. I needed Mina to tell me because I was worried about you, I swear," His voice is firm.

You look at him, unsure.

Jungkook sighs, "I didn't go to you because I thought that you wouldn't remember, but more so because I didn't want to hurt you further if you did. I didn't want to stir up anything that you'd want to put away. I realize now that that was shitty of me to go behind your back, I should've come to you first, it was your story to tell. I'm sorry."

You blink, taken aback by how honest and sincere he seems right now.

You'd been hurting from all the running away and ignoring you and all that he's been doing recently.

This is the first time it feels like he's actually taking you seriously.

You bring your eyes up to his, "I'm s-s-sorry for lashing o-out. I have f-f-feelings like every-yone else and I w-was hurt."

Jungkook nods, "It's okay, I'm sorry too." His deep brown eyes search yours carefully as you continue, "You c-c-can like Mina, I-I-I underst-stand. She's b-beautiful..."

Jungkook takes you by surprise when he starts to chuckle. You look at him curiously, "W-Why are you l-l-laughing?"

Jungkook gently lets go of your hands, making you miss the warmth of them instantly.

He brings his hands up to run through his hair, "I can't believe you think I'd fall for Mina."

You scowl, "Why w-wouldn't you?"

Jungkook lets out an amused scoff, "She's not my type."

"Oh, y-yeah? What i-is your type then?"

He looks at you and you make eye contact for a second before your gaze darts away. Jungkook keeps his eyes on you for a moment longer.

"Wouldn't you like to know?" Jungkook says teasingly, noting that your cheeks turn pink as you shake your head in denial, "I d-d-don't care."

He laughs lightly and you feel your heart lift in your chest.

A minute passes in silence as the two of you try to think of what to say next.

You're a bit embarrassed about your outburst, but you know he understands.

You were valid in your feelings and he seems genuinely sorry for everything.

Jungkook's head is in a completely different place, trying to go about how to ask you to leave Seoul with him.

This is ridiculous, you'll never agree.

You watch as Jungkook's eyes dart around the room as if he's trying to figure something out.

"Y-You okay?" You ask, a bit worried.

Jungkook looks up, his eyes finding yours.

Just do it, Jeon.

Don't be a wuss.

"Will you leave Seoul with me?"

He blurts it out, figuring he'll chicken out if he doesn't.

Your eyes widen and you're shocked into silence for a good minute.

When the initial shock leaves you, you blink a few times.

Jungkook just stands there stupidly.

"Um..."

He winces at your hesitation although it was inevitable.

"...w-why?"

Damn it, he knew you'd ask, you'd be stupid not to.

He needs to make something up, fast.

"This- this seems like the worst timing possible... But I was...invited to uhm, to a thing, a thing in uhm, in Busan. It's like uh, a uh, a school reunion? Thing? Kind of? It's uh...."

Fuck he's a bumbling idiot.

Before he can make a bigger fool out of himself, you burst into laughter.

His chest feels lighter at the sound.

Well, at least he made you laugh...

You wipe at your eyes as you double over in laughter, a good contrast to what you were doing a little while ago, so he'll take it.

Jungkook just stands there, his arms crossed over his broad chest as he watches you make fun of him.

When you finally catch your breath, you look at him to see him scowling darkly.

You feel like it would scare anyone else, but it doesn't scare you.

You poke at his chest, the last of the giggles leaving your lips.

Jungkook stiffens when you touch him, but he will not let you know that your touch affects him.

"Are you finished?" He asks, trying to appear unamused.

You nod, still wiping away the tears of mirth from your eyes.

"So, w-what you're tr-trying to say is, you want me to go to B-Busan with you for a school r-r-reunion?"

He nods in embarrassment at the silly lie.

You laugh again, "Well, w-why didn't y-you just say that? I'd l-love to g-g-go with you!"

Well...that was easy.

Jungkook bites back a smile at the way you shake your head and giggle at him.

"W-When is it?"

"We'd have to leave tonight...like, you should pack now."

"Oh," You look at him in surprise, "Oh, um. O-Okay...how long w-will we be gone?"

The ridiculous contrast to what was happening a few minutes ago and now is going to give you whiplash. A moment ago you were yelling at him to stop hurting you and now you're agreeing to go to Busan with him...

What kind of a day was this?

"Uh, I'm not sure, I was hoping to just spend some time there and go sightseeing, maybe?" Jungkook answers your question awkwardly.

Your warm smile makes him swallow painfully, "I w-would love that. School d-doesn't start for an-another three weeks."

"Perfect," Jungkook nods, "Then it's settled, go pack."

You shriek in excitement and hurry to the back with a little skip to your step, "V-Vacation!"

Jungkook lets out a long breath, his heart skipping a beat at the happy humming floating from your room.

Thank goodness he was successful in that.

But what makes him feel even better, is the fact that your beautiful smile is back.

__________

"Sh-Should I tell Mina?"

Jungkook's grip tenses on the wheel at your words.

He isn't sure why, but he doesn't want Mina to know where the two of you are going.

"Nah, I already told her I was going to ask you to come with me. She knows," Jungkook prays that you'll fall for it, biting his lip harshly.

"Oh," You squeak from the passenger seat.

He swallows his heart that leapt to his throat at the adorable sound.

You look out the side window, watching as the sun starts to set, your head leaning against the glass.

"How l-long will it t-t-take us to get there?" You ask quietly, your eyes still glued to the beautiful colors running across the sky.

Jungkook glances at his phone where the directions are.

"Mm, since there's hardly any traffic, hopefully four hours?"

Your eyes widen a little and you make a small sound of acknowledgment.

"Hm, ok."

Jungkook drags his eyes back to the road, telling himself that he's not allowed to look at you the whole way lest he get distracted and crash the car like a fool.

Jungkook has some soft music playing in the background, making you smile softly to yourself. You didn't think him the type of person to listen to classical instrumental music, but it's nice and relaxing, especially for how tired you are.

An hour into the drive, you feel your eyes getting extremely heavy. You keep blinking them rapidly to keep yourself awake, but every time you blink it gets harder and harder to open them again.

Jungkook, as well as he had done the first hour, fails his own rule as he glances at you.

He had noticed the way you were shifting and jerking around for the past few minutes.

"Hey, you okay?" Jungkook asks gently before returning his gaze to the road.

You nod sleepily, a tiny yawn slipping out of you.

"J-Just a little s-sleepy is all."

A soft smile appears on Jungkook's face and you feel your chest warm at the sight. You can't stop staring at his side profile, the line of his jaw, and his adorably big nose, even his lashes are long and beautiful.

"You can take a nap you know-"

"Nooo, no no," You wave a hand in the air dismissively, "I'm n-not tired at all!"

Jungkook stifles a laugh at you contradicting yourself within thirty seconds.

He nods, "Okay, then you don't have to take a nap."

You smile drowsily, appearing almost drunk in a way.

Jungkook glances at you again.

Drunk from exhaustion, you most certainly are.

What a rollercoaster of a day.

He sighs, a gentle sound as he turns back to keep his eyes forward, "You look really sleepy."

"Y-You look really p-pretty..."

Jungkook, startled at your words, looks at you with wide eyes, "Huh?"

No one has ever called him pretty before...

You have an elbow against the console, your chin in your hand as you gaze up at him dreamily.

"I'm s-s-sorry I said all th-that mean st-stuff back at my apartment," You whisper, lips turning down into a pout.

Jungkook fidgets, "It's fine, ____. I deserved to get snapped at."

You shake your head, "Noooo," You say cutely, smacking your lips, "Nooo, you d-deserve th-the whooooooole world!" You gesture out, almost smacking him in the face.

Jungkook chuckles.

You're just tired yet you act like you've been drinking nonstop.

"You, J-Jungkook, you d-deserve to a...a? A h-hug."

He feels a pinching in his chest at your words.

"Thanks, ____."

You nod, your head lolling to the side as you start to drift off to sleep again, then you jerk suddenly as you remember something.

"M-My first love!"

Jungkook looks at you, bewildered.

"He-...b-brought it to me..."

Jungkook arches an eyebrow at you, "Who brought what to you, ____?"

"An angel brought m-me food t-today!"

Jungkook nods along with your nonsensical rambling, "That's cool," He muses as he passes a car on the highway.

"Yeahh..."

After that, you fall silent.

He glances over at you after you haven't spoken for a few minutes, to see your head resting against the seat, your mouth open slightly as you sleep soundly.

He fights the smile that's creeping its way onto his face, trying as hard as he can to pay attention to the road.

Jungkook reaches up a hand and slaps it across his face, harder than he had meant to.

He winces in pain, but at least it got him to think straight.

Jungkook keeps his eyes on the road (mostly) the rest of the way.

It's kind of lonely with you sleeping beside him, but he doesn't really mind.

It's around one in the morning when Jungkook gently shakes your shoulder.

You stir, your eyes opening into little slits as you look around in confusion.

"W-Where am I?" You ask, mumbling almost incoherently.

"We're here, ____. We're in Busan," Jungkook says softly, his hand still on your shoulder.

Once you're able to open your eyes all the way, you see the inside of Jungkook's car, then you turn your head to the right to see him standing outside your door, holding it open as he smiles at you.

"Oh," You say in surprise, "I f-forgot we were on v-vacation."

Jungkook chuckles at that, "Come on, ____. Let's get you to bed."

He reaches around you to unbuckle your seat belt, then you watch quietly as he grabs your purse and slings it over his shoulder.

Next, he grabs your hand and helps you out of the car.

You take in the sight of a small motel, very simple, very dark, and very very cute.

Jungkook watches your eyes light up at the place you'll be staying tonight.

"It's s-so cute," You whisper sleepily.

Jungkook shrugs, "I've never considered a motel to be cute before, but it's decent."

You keep a hold of his hand as you climb out of the car, then you shyly let go and follow him to the trunk where he pulls out both of your suitcases.

"I can c-carry something," You offer as you see him start moving with both of the cases to the front of the motel.

Jungkook shakes his head, his floofy brown hair flopping about, "I'm all good."

You bite back a laugh at the sight of him wheeling two suitcases with a purse slung over his arm, then you hurry to catch up to him.

Inside, there's a very small old man at the front desk, reading a newspaper.

He looks up when you and Jungkook walk in.

A friendly smile graces his features as he sets the paper down, "Hello there, how can I help you?"

"Hi," Jungkook clears his throat, "I called about two rooms earlier today...well, I guess it was technically yesterday..."

The man nods and grabs this little notebook, "Perfect! Name?"

"Uhm...Jungkook, Jeon Jungkook,” He says lowly.

Ohhhh, Jeon?

Even his last name suits him.

You see him fidgeting a little as the older man flips through the notebook, "Ah yes! Right here."

Then he turns to grab a key out of a little cabinet, "Your rooms will be one twenty-three and one twenty-two-"

He pauses, his hand freezing over an empty cubby in the cabinet.

"Uhm...one moment."

He shuffles behind a little curtain leading to a different room.

Jungkook looks back at you with a puzzled expression and you shrug, you don't have any idea what's going on either.

A minute later the man comes out with a regretful look on his face.

"I'm so sorry, Mr. Jeon. It would appear as though someone accidentally gave your rooms away without looking at the reservations," The man looks terribly guilty.

Jungkook bites his lip, "Uhm, alright, well can I get two other rooms then?"

The man nods quickly and ruffles through his notebook, then he looks at Jungkook again.

"We only have one room available. I sincerely apologize, this was my mistake-"

"Don't worry about it," Jungkook gives him a tight-lipped smile, "We'll take it. Thank you."

After getting your key, you and Jungkook walk out to find your room, not speaking until you get there.

Once Jungkook unlocks the door and opens it for you, he gives you an embarrassed smile, "Sorry, ____. I would take us somewhere else but it's late and-...I'll sleep on the floor."

You turn to him, "D-Don't be silly. We'll both sl-sleep on a bed."

He looks at you, bewildered, then his gaze follows your outstretched arm as you point at the bed.

Or...

The beds.

AH! A MIRACLE!

Jungkook sighs in relief, letting the door close behind him as he sets your suitcases to the side.

"Well this isn't so bad," He says as he looks around the room, taking in the twin beds with satisfaction.

Then he looks at you to see you gazing around in wonder, gently touching the bed and making your way over to the bathroom to peek your head inside.

When you turn back to him, your eyes are lit up like stars in the night sky.

"It's b-beautiful!"

Jungkook does one more look over.

There are twin beds with white covers and pillows, a nightstand between them and TV on a desk in front along with a coffee machine and glass mugs.

Meh, it's not a crappy place, he's been in far worse, but he's also been in far better.

Then something clicks and he looks at you again, "Wait, have you never been to a hotel- or- a motel before?"

You shake your head, your innocent eyes never leaving his.

Jungkook lets out a short laugh of disbelief, "Huh."

You walk over to your suitcase and grab it, pulling it with you to the bathroom, "I'm g-going to change."

"Uh-huh," Jungkook says, still trying to process the fact that you've never stayed in a place like this before.

When he hears the bathroom door close, he walks over to his suitcase and opens it up, grabbing out a t-shirt and some pajama shorts.

He makes quick work of changing, then he settles on the left bed, a groan leaving his lips as he lays back.

A moment later, the door to the bathroom opens and Jungkook sees you walk out shyly, a simple lilac nightgown draping around your frame.

He looks away quickly, fixing his gaze on the black screen of the television positioned in front of the twin beds.

You hurry over and climb into the bed on the right, slipping underneath the covers and sighing happily.

"Th-These beds are s-so comfy!"

Jungkook hums in response, his eyes still glued to the TV even though it's off.

You pull the covers up to your chin and close your eyes, letting out a tiny yawn.

At the sound, Jungkook's resolution crumbles and he glances over at you.

The way your eyelids flutter and your lips part slightly as you breathe makes his heart beat rapidly.

Suddenly, your eyes pop open and you're staring right back at him.

He was so startled when it happened that he didn't even look away, instead, his gaze stays locked on yours, eyes wide.

It feels like an eternity passes as the two of you just stare at each other, but it's really only a few seconds.

Long enough for Jungkook's heart to be in his throat and your tummy to start tickling.

Then you whisper, "I w-was just going to a-ask you to turn out the l-light."

A choked breath escapes Jungkook as he snaps his gaze away from yours.

"Oh, yeah sure."

Without looking at you, he reaches over to the table between your beds and flips the light off.

It's silent for a little bit, then Jungkook hears you whisper in the darkness, "I'm sorry a-about earlier."

"You already apologized, and I told you there was no need to."

You sigh and shift onto your back, "When is th-the school reunion?"

Jungkook internally groans, "It's in a few days."

"W-Why did we have t-to leave so quickly?"

Jungkook moves to his right side, so he's facing you in the darkness, but he can't make you out.

"I wanted to be sure we got a place to stay before it all filled up."

"Ah, okay."

Fuck, he hates lying to you so easily.

The fact that you have full trust in him is making him sick to his stomach.

But at least he got you here.

He's gotten you out of Seoul.

That buys him a bit more time to figure out who the hell placed the hit on you.

Then he'll take matters into his own hands.

After a few minutes, Jungkook is sure you've fallen asleep again, so it takes him by surprise when you speak up.

"What is y-your favorite flower?"

"Uhm, I'm not sure...I don't know that many flowers," Jungkook replies, his eyes still closed.

You giggle, "My f-favorite is the a-almond flower."

Jungkook nods thoughtfully, then he realizes that you can't see him so he clears his throat, "Ah, what does that one look like?"

"It's little and w-white with a h-hint of pink in the middle. V-Very cute."

Jungkook smiles, "Sounds very fitting for you."

Your cheeks heat up as you cuddle more into the covers, "Do y-you want to know th-the meaning of it?" You whisper.

He finally opens his eyes, but all he can see is darkness, "Sure."

He suddenly remembers your letter to him after you visited the field of dandelions.

What did you say the dandelion represented again? Oh yeah, hope and happiness...or something like that...

"It m-means h-hope and renewal."

Jungkook hears you shifting a little to get comfortable.

"That's nice," He says gently, "I guess the little simple ones tend to represent hope, huh?"

You positively beam, realizing that he must have remembered your letter to him about the dandelion.

"I g-guess so."

Jungkook turns onto his back, staring up at the ceiling.

Before he can back out, he asks, "What does the lotus flower represent?"

"Is th-that your f-favorite?"

Jungkook blinks a few times before answering you, "It was my mother's."

You sit up and look over at him curiously, wondering if something had happened to her with the way his voice sounded and the fact that he used past tense.

"Oh...w-well I happen t-to know that one," You lay back down, "It m-means enlightenment and r-rebirth."

Huh.

How ironic.

"Ah," Is all he says.

You lay there in silence for a little bit, then you remember something that you had wanted to tell him.

"Oh y-yeah, I had the w-weirdest dream the other day."

"Mm? What was it?"

"I w-was laying in a f-field of flowers. Purple f-flowers-"

Jungkook's brain suddenly snaps to attention at your words, "What did they look like?" He asks abruptly, interrupting you.

"Uh, they w-were some of m-my favorite flowers, they're c-called Agapanthus."

"Agapi- what?" Jungkook asks, face scrunched in confusion.

You laugh and blindly reach for your phone on the nightstand.

Jungkook looks over to see a blue light illuminating your face as you look at your phone and his breath gets caught in his throat.

Fuck.

Don't be stupid, Jungkook.

He looks away quickly.

"H-Here," You stand up and waddle over to his bed, plopping yourself down on the side of it and jostling him a bit. Jungkook swallows thickly at the close proximity all of the sudden.

You hold your phone close to his face, watching as he squints at the picture of the flower you were talking about.

"A-Agapanthus," You state again, smiling.

But Jungkook barely hears you, he's frozen, staring at the picture in your hand.

That's the flower that was in his dream the other day.

The field was full of them.

"Anyw-way, I w-was lying there. It w-was so vivid. Th-Then I realized I was h-holding someone's hand-"

Jungkook can't tear his eyes away from your phone, his heartbeat increasing the more of your story you tell.

"I c-could tell it w-was a guy's hand, b-but I couldn't turn my head to see who it was."

His eyes finally drift from your phone up to your face where you're sporting a faint pout.

He doesn't know what possesses him to ask, all he registers are the shaky words suddenly coming from his mouth, "What's the meaning of this flower?"

Your gaze shifts to his and you smile softly, "L-Love."

__________________________________

a/n: jk is a damned fool, who’s with me.

Tag list; @hopekookies @moonchild1 @barbellastyles98 @teresaisla @ggukkieland @mwitsmejk @scuzmunkie @jaebeomsblackgf @sugaslittlekookies @moon-asia @bangtannie7 @yoonchrisgull @njkbangtan @higashikatasgf @jksbbyfacebunny @sweetonkookieandtae @voidswan-recs @sadxaries @bts-junseagull @jinfused @taehyungiev13 @gaeguuliii @kimnamjoonluvbot @jungkooook @mutterseelenalleinn @surilirani @patpus @yukiehyukie @crypticsabbat @ohyeahjk @steffiiirose @the-falling-star @telepathytae @erenkook

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taestefully-in-luv · 3 years

Text

Always You | JJK (Five)

Summary: you and Jungkook have been best friends since freshmen year of college, there’s a lot of unsaid feelings and tension but neither make a move. what happens when his friend Taehyung (also your crush) needs a fake girlfriend?

Pairing: Jungkook x Female reader, slight Taehyung x Reader

Genre: friends to lovers, idiots to lovers, slight slow burn, roommate au, college au, SMUT (starting ch2), fluff, angst (in later chapters) slight crack, lots of drama

Word Count: 12.1k

Warnings: Swearing, alcohol consumption, sexual tension (?) sad oc, mentions of sex, kind of over the clothes action, drama, heated dance session lol, slight memory of sex, hair pulling, back scratching, mention of boner, second chances (?)

Notes: Okay, first of all THAT 1st TEASER PIC!!! DID WE SEE THAT? *chefs kiss*. Anyway thanks for comments you guys leave I really love reading them!!! Remember to send an ask if you want to be added to the taglist or just want to chat about the story:) have a great week everyone!

Taglist: @mooniyooni @thisartemisnevermisses @giadalin @kookiebunny097 @cosmosjk @moonchild1 @just-jeon @anpanman-sonyeondan @starlight-night0 @yessii-i @apollukee @mikasaredscarf1 @kaye-rosales @bunnyjeonjk @dyriddle @seagulljk @hass-mich-los @peachy-skz0325 @wonusbitch

Previous --- Next

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May

Gloomy: The dictionary may describe it as hopeless and despairing but really it should just be a picture of your sad, sad face.

1 month…yes, one whole month has passed since you last spoke to Jungkook. No text, no calls, no random show ups, nothing. Gloom. Gloom. Gloom. Graduation came and gone so quickly…you walked the stage with your friends minus two but honestly you can hardly remember the event. You tried your hardest to be as excited as everyone else but the feeling of gloom stayed with you.

By the end of the month you finally started accepting he isn’t coming back and right around that time you actually heard from him—Jungkook that is. He sent you a pathetic text that he’s moving out and will be by to retrieve his things. More gloom.

The next couple weeks after that are a blur, you recall the sound of movers throughout your apartment. You didn’t have the courage to speak to him…you didn’t have the courage to even leave your room if you didn’t have to. You were so wrapped up in everything you didn’t even consider that fact that you will have to find a new roommate to cover the other half of the rent.

Every day just dragged on, every day a repeat of the last. Wake up, drown in black coffee, scroll mindlessly through your phone and work your full time job. You called in sick too many days already so you have to go or you’re at risk at getting fired. The same day, every day. The same gloomy fucking day.

Jimin tried to call or text every day to make sure you were like, alive. He apologized over and over for not telling you as soon as he found out about the Taehyung situation but he felt that if Taehyung was going to tell you then it is best it comes from him and not Jimin. You can understand that. He also frequently would show up at your apartment to surprise you but you rarely let him in. You did feel bad though, he’s just trying to be there for you.

Jimin 6:04pm

Please let me in?

Jimin 6:05pm

Well…I have some take out for you babe, ill leave it on the doorstep.

Jimin 6:05pm

Call me sometime ok? Love you

Guilt would consume your body but you just couldn’t deal with human contact right now.

June

Around month 2 you finally felt okay to see people again—your close people that is—aka Jimin was finally allowed in, he made you take a hot bath while he cleaned up for you and made you a proper meal. The amount of instant ramen containers lying around the place was by far one of the grossest things he’s seen. The shit that was growing…he shudders just thinking about it.

He would come over every day after work in the evenings. He left day time babysitting to Trina.

“Girl…all this over a boy?” she would constantly say.

You also tried applying for job after job, but the postgraduation life is harder than you thought…at least for you. Jimin landed a job as a kids choreographer, Trina starts up at one of the local elementary schools as a kindergartner teacher and you? You’re still working at the bakery down the street. You applied for many entry level positions in the marketing field but failed miserably in interviews…which only further discouraged you and worsened your mood.

It was also around this time you decided to finally delete Jungkook off all social media and block his number. You refuse to hear from him at this point…not that he was reaching out or anything. You wonder what he’s up to postgraduation? No, you don’t want to know or care. You considered hanging up a picture of his face on your wall so you could throw darts at it but you decided that was maybe on the crazy side. Taehyung sends you weekly texts, asking about how your day/week is going. He updates you on his life as well, apparently he got the curator assistant position at the museum that he wanted. You still feel hurt over everything but you are happy for him. It’s funny, you feel so betrayed over that but Jungkook is the cause of your gloom.

Every day just drags on, you feel heavy everywhere you go. Even when you’re just at home in bed.

By the end of the month your friends somehow convinced you to go on a date—a horrible date at that.

He was awkward as hell, a bad kisser and would lightly…tap your ass in attempt to be sexy. It was a disaster, you don’t even remember what the two of you even talked about at dinner. You just remember his tongue being horribly shoved down your throat and his weird ass tapping habit.

July

Then month 3 finally came around. A month where the weeks went by breathing became just a bit easier. Yes, any and everything still reminded you of Jungkook but it didn’t hurt as terribly as the previous months. By the end of the month you even agreed to your first real social outing. You are hesitant, but you agreed…

“I don’t know guys…a birthday party? We like, don’t even know the girl?” you frown, nibbling on the flesh of your bottom lip.

You are sitting in the middle of your bedroom floor, clothes piling all around you as you try to decide on what to wear.

“You need to get out babe…plus it’s a friend of a friend, so it’s cool.” Jimin says holding up a rose colored crop top, motioning for you to nod yes or no to his suggestion. You cock your head to the side, deciding what pants to go with it.

“I have to say I agree with Jimin, y/n.” your new roommate Holly chips in, “Since I’ve moved in I don’t think I’ve seen you go out even once.”

“Also a party is the best place to find some easy dick.” Of course that’s what Trina has to offer.

“Yes to the crop top Jimin.” You point your head towards the shirt, “Okay don’t have to call me out like that Holly.” You glare at your roomie, “And Trina, we both know I ain’t ready for no type of dick.”

“So we’re looking for some pussy tonight?” Trina smirks, “Nice.”

You rolls your eyes, a chuckle escaping your lips, “Shut up.” you throw a pair of shorts at her face.

“But seriously y/n…Maybe Trina is on to something…” Jimin sits down next to you, crossing his legs in front of him, “Maybe this is a good chance to like—”

“If you say move on I will literally kill you.” You cut in, “There’s nothing to move on from!” you throw your hands up dramatically. “Taehyung used me, Jungkook wants nothing to do with me. And—”

“Then why aren’t you ready for any type of dick?” Holly puts in her 2 fucking cents.

“Because I don’t want to be associated with any boys! Jimin is the exception.”

“Somehow I don’t feel flattered by that…” Jimin puts a hand on your shoulder.

“When’s the last time you got off?” Trina abruptly asks. You turn your head in shock at her shamelessness.

“Trina!”

“Answer her, I’m curious too.” Jimin squints at you trying not to laugh.

“It’s…” your eyes slide to the side, “It’s been a while.”

Trina shakes her in disapproval, “Damn girl, really? My fingers constantly playing DJ, you know what I’m sayin?” Trina goes in for a fist bump but you just push her hand away.

“You’re gross.” You laugh out loud, and it sounds like music to everyone’s ears.

“I’m just real babey.” She flicks her hair back with a proud smile on her face.

Having these 3 around has no doubt helped you deal with the loss you feel. You feel like you are still mourning the dead. How’s Jungkook even doing? You’re too afraid to ask Jimin. Too afraid that he’s doing amazing without you. He must of realized how much better off he is without you around and that makes you feel small.

“Fine…” you mutter under your breath…Jimin snaps his head to look at you, his sly smile growing as he watches you fiddle with a short mini skirt.

“Fine what?” Trina asks with a smirk.

“Let’s find me some dick tonight.”

“Hell fucking yeah.” Jimin claps his hands together, “Tonight is about you!”

“y/n makes her debut tonight! She’s hot, she’s single and she is ready to mingle!”

You can’t help but giggle, your hands bunching up the material of the mini skirt as you look down at it, making your decision.

“Let me get ready and we can get this night started!” you rush to your feet, all the sudden feeling excited for tonight. You are going to actually do your hair and your makeup—you even shaved. You are definitely breathing easier tonight and you have to take advantage of that!

“Let’s do shots as we wait girlies,” Holly shows a bottle of rum she had hiding behind her back, shaking it in excitement.

“Naughty girl.” Jimin winks, standing to his feet, heading towards the kitchen to grab some shot glasses.

You get ready quickly, but taking your time where it counts. You give yourself a once over in the mirror and you have to say you are impressed. Your black jean mini skirt sits right below your ass, while your tits pop in this rose crop top. You wear short heels, and simple jewelry with just the right amount of makeup that makes your features stand out, and you have to say you would kiss yourself if you could—you look fucking good.

“woooooo” Jimin and Trina whistle out at the same time as they walk back in your bedroom.

“I’d fuck.” Jimin says plainly.

“Same as fuck.” Trina says bluntly as she swallows down a shot.

“Yeah you look pretty y/n!” Holly smiles, not really on the same level of honestly as your other two friends.

You burst into giggles, throwing your head back in approval. “Thanks guys…..Lets fucking do this.” You walk towards Trina and grab her shot glass, and you take the bottle from Holly, pouring yourself a shot.

“Ready to fucking mingle.” You gulp down the rum, the burn only encouraging you, the warmth stinging your entire chest and you couldn’t feel more content.

This house was one of the bigger ones, it was full of people and more people and like, more people. You managed to swallow down 3 or 4 shots back at your apartment and the alcohol is definitely working its magic on you, the world just a little nicer.

The amount of people doesn’t even bother you like it usually would, instead you find yourself barging through the front door and making your way to the dance floor with your 3 friends trialing behind you.

The heat of the living room is already intoxicating you, the amount of bodies rolling and grinding makes you feel loose and free. Before you know it Jimin is pushing a drink into your hands and you hug him gratefully as you begin chugging it back.

“Woah slow down, we have all night—actually fuck it, I like your spirit tonight!” he chuckles lightly, his hands going to your waist, rocking you to the beat of the blaring music. Trina and Holly disappear into the kitchen to grab more drinks while you and Jimin dance to whatever b…t…ah, forget it, you forgot the band’s name.

“Are you having fun?” Jimin slurs out, his eyes barely visible as he laughs at nothing.

“So much fun!” you yell out over the music then you lean down into his ear and whisper, “Thanks so much Jiminie…I know I was a little difficult…”

“A little?” he teases.

Jimin’s eyes travel behind you before they are widening. You notice, of course. You are about to turn your head to take a look at whatever he is seeing when his snaps back to you in panic, his troubled smile growing.

“Let’s go find Trina and Holly, yeah?” he tries to usher you toward the kitchen and you oblige. Too drunk and feeling too good that his odd behavior goes ignored by you.

“Kay!” you smile, hooking your arm with his. “Letsa go!” you say like you’re fucking Mario.

The two of you walk to the kitchen, finding Trina and Holly playing a game of beer pong with two random guys.

“Hello my bitches!” Trina hollers over the thumping bass, as she scores a cup of pong, her other hand on Hollys lower back.

“Wait, gotta use the bathroom, be right back!” you slur into Jimin’s ear, he just nods distractedly as he watches the game, laughter erupting his body for probably no drunken reason.

You walk back into the living room and start heading towards the other side where the bathroom is. The journey to the bathroom is fun, you accidently bump into a lot of people but they don’t seem to mind as they will just drunkenly smile at you and you would smile back in your own drunken daze. You skim the room with a dopey smile on your face, just admiring the crowd. You are shocked with yourself…you missed people and you cannot believe it. You continue to observe when your eyes land on tattooed hands. The hands are grabbing a handful of ass on the dance floor. You know these hands. Your eyes travel from his hands to his strong arms to his face…it is hiding in the nook of some girls neck and you feel like someone knocked the wind out of you. Jungkook.

He is kissing on some girl, no doubt leaving bruises behind from his attack on her neck. His hands cupping this girls ass so tightly, he guides her hips into his. You watch as she throws her head back in pleasure and you see him smirk. All his signature moves. You are left speechless. What could you even say? Why does this hurt? Why does this make you feel fucking sick? Why does it feel like you aren’t supposed to be witnessing this? Well, you know why but god, why?!

“y/n!!” It’s Jimin, jogging up behind you, “Fuck, I was trying to avoid you seeing this…” he admit softly, “I swear I didn’t think he was going to be here tonight…he didn’t seem that interested when I asked him about it…”

“It’s fine Jimin…” you mumble.

“Does it feel weird? Seeing him with this girl…?” Jimin is obviously trying to get you to admit something right now but you are not in the right head space to even give it a second thought.

“Why should it? Plus I’m used to this…she’s just some random girl for one night.” You twirl the ends of your hair between your fingers.

“Oh babe…” Jimin glances down at the ground, “This girl…she…he’s brought her to every party for the last month…” Jimin sounds as sorry as you feel.

The same girl? That’s impossible, you scoff. There’s no way Jungkook is actually seeing someone. But that doesn’t stop your stomach from twisting and turning and making you feel fucking sick.

“What do you mean?” you finally slur out, leaning your frame on Jimin.

“He brings her and they leave together too…” Jimin holds on to you, “I haven’t really asked him about her though.”

“Whatever. Fuck him, right? I won’t let this ruin my night.” You smile coyly, draping your arms around your friend. “Bathroom please.” You pout theatrically, pointing your head towards the bathroom.

“Okay let’s get you peeing in peace.” Jimin laughs, guiding you towards the door.

Once at the door, you knock a couple times to find that it is empty, “I’ll wait for you out here.” Jimin assures you.

Once inside the small room, you bunch up your skirt and pull down your panties, squatting on the toilet. You sigh in relief as you pee, but the relief you feel in your body stops when you recall the way Jungkook held and kissed this random but not so random girl.

Why should it bother you? It’s about time Jungkook got serious! But why did he have to dump you to achieve that? And why did It have to be with someone el…

You reach for the toilet paper, ripping it after a few sheets and wipe yourself as you drunkenly sing a tune. So what? You can easily replace Jungkook too!

You stand up, pulling your panties up and your skirt down and take a long good look in the mirror. Your hair is still intact, your makeup is only a little smeared—quick fix, and your tits are still poppin’. This night is just beginning, you decide. A whole new wave of confidence begins washing over you.

“Ready!” You pounce on Jimin’s back, he stumbles forward while laughing wholeheartedly.

“Should we look for Trina and Holly again? They’re probably still playing beer pong!”

“Sure.” You smile, walking hand in hand with Jimin as you make your way back to the kitchen.

Hours pass and you are now outside on the back porch piss drunk with your 3 friends and a couple new friends. Nick and his pal that you can’t remember the name of—but you remember Nick. He’s really tall and has nice muscles covering his body, his light hair is messy and looks like you would have fun pulling it.

“And that’s why I think aliens are already here bro, like they are probably here at this fucking party bro.” No name friend finishes his point. Nick holds in his chuckle as his drunk friend rambles.

“Totally bro.” Then his eyes land on you. Fuck, were you staring? Oh well, it’s best to get to the point. You two have been making eyes at each other all night and it’s time to make the next move.

“Hey Nick, wanna grab a drink with me in the kitchen?” you inquire with a sly smile.

Jimin’s eyes widen before he’s smirking “Don’t be silly, wrap that willy.”

Trina and Holly laugh at Jimin’s words while you turn fucking red with embarrassment.

“Sorry about him…” You excuse Jimin, but you continue to smile slyly.

Nick grins with all his teeth as he takes your hand and leads you back inside the house. His hand is much larger than yours and you are already imagining what his beefy fingers will do to your vagina. God, what’s his dick like???

You enter the kitchen and you and him walk towards the cooler full of beers, he lets you stand to the side as he goes to grab them.

“Nick!!!!” you hear a familiar voice and you wince. Jungkook stands next to the cooler, his hand wrapped around the girls hand, but he briefly lets go of it to dap up your fuck for the night.

“What’s up bro!” Nick returns the handshake, a wide smile on his face.

They know each other?

“I thought you said you weren’t coming tonight?” Jungkook’s hand goes back to holding on to the girl.

“I wasn’t going to but,” he nods towards you, “Glad I did.” He winks. Jungkook’s eyes follow Nicks nod and when he sees you stand there awkwardly he goes completely pale. Your eyes meet uncomfortably, Jungkook let’s go of the girls hand without a second thought.

“y/n?” he questions with a pained expression.

“You know her?” Nick asks, totally out of the loop.

You shift from one foot to the other, not really sure what to do or say. So you settle for his name. “Jungkook.” It feels foreign on your tongue. Like if you said it 3 times in a mirror a sinister ghost would come to murder you.

Jungkook opens his mouth then closes it then opens it then closes it again.

“Baaaaabe,” the girl next to him whines, “let’s get out of here already.” She says, not even acknowledging your existence.

Jungkook shamelessly eyes you up and down, his shock is very evident as he looks at you.

You can’t help but smile a little, knowing you look damn good.

“Let’s go too, Nick.” You saunter to his side, grabbing a hold of his bicep.

That’s when Jungkook knocks out of daze, his brows crease as he looks between the two of you.

“Wait—you and Nick?” he asks, completely amused.

“Is that a problem?”

“Nope.” Jungkook looks fucking smug as he smiles, his hand going to grab the girls hand again. “See you later?” he asks you. You of all people! “Uh? Probably not?”

“I wouldn’t be so sure of that.” Jungkook winks, turning around to leave as he leads his girl out.

Nick just continues to smile, completely oblivious, “So cool that we all know each other!” he grips on to your waist.

“Wait, how do you know Jungkook?”

“We—”

“Wait, it honestly doesn’t matter. Let’s just get out of here.”

“My place?” Nick breathes into your ear, he pushes your hips into his crotch so you can feel his half hard cock.

“Why are you already getting hard?” you tease, leaning up to kiss his neck.

“Honestly, I can’t stop staring at your tits. And I am imagining all the things I want to do to them.” He confesses hotly.

The uber ride to his place is short, only 10 minutes and it goes by quickly as you two have one another’s tongues down each others throats. His hands traveling all around your body, he even manages to slip his fingers past your panties to feel how wet you are.

“Fuck I can’t wait to get you inside…” his rapid breaths fan across your face as you nibble on his neck.

“Gonna fuck me?” you whisper quietly, not trying to get heard by the Uber driver, but you could also hardly care if he hears you or not, he gets 5 stars.

“Want you to ride me.” He palms his cock through his pants as he imagines you bouncing on his cock for him.

“If you deserve it like a good boy.” You replace his hand with your own, rubbing him ferociously over his jeans. You haven’t felt dick in months and the feeling is driving you absolutely wild, you haven’t felt this needy in a long time.

The Uber comes to a stop, parking in front of an apartment building. He lets the two of you know you reached your destination. You and Nick giggle as you thank him and stumble out of the car as you follow him to his apartment. He would stop every few seconds to plant kisses on your lips and grab your ass with a tight squeeze. He groans and rolls his eyes back as he explores your body.

“Wait til we’re inside,” you breathe out, your voice silky as hell.

Finally, after a short, kiss filled elevator ride later you arrive at his front door. His lips never leaving yours as he pulls out his keys, fumbling with them until he finds the right one.

He pulls away for a second to unlock the door and desperately pushes it open to let the two of you inside. Your lips are already back on his as you two trip into the entry way of the apartment, you walk him backwards, until his back is against a wall.

The apartment is dark besides the living room TV, you take a second to pull back and admire Nick’s fucked out expression, the blue glow of the TV making everything feel surreal.

You dive back in to kiss him, he prods his tongue into your mouth, swirling it around with yours making you moan into his mouth.

“Hi guys!”

Your eyes shoot open, mouth still attached to Nicks. You push your head back, disconnecting from Nick and yank your head to the left where you see a wild Jungkook sitting on the living room sofa, his mouth full of the cereal he is eating. He is wearing the most shit eating grin you have ever seen on him.

“Jungkook?! What the fuck?” You spit out, totally fucking shocked. Like, obviously.

“Hey man…” Nick breathes out heavily, trying to speak properly, “I thought you would be at Vanessa’s tonight?”

“Nah,” Jungkook smiles, “Dropped her off and came home.”

HOME?

“H-Home?” You look between the two guys, what the fuck does he mean by that. This is Nicks place, right?

“Oh you didn’t know?” Jungkook nods his head toward Nick, “Nick here is my beloved roommate.”

“What the fuck…” you mutter under your breath, trying to understand the mother fucking situation. Were you about to fuck Jungkook’s roommate? Are you still going to is the real question?

“Wait, how do you two even know each other?” Nick starts to look antsy, “Don’t tell me she’s one of the girls you’ve fucked…come on bro, leave some for the rest of us.” He chuckles somewhat bitterly.

“No!” you’re quick to say. You begin smoothing out your skirt, then your hair. “We just…”

“y/n is my bestie!” Jungkook grins, putting the cereal down and standing up. He walks forward until he is making a triangle with you and Nick.

“Was.” You spit out harshly, crossing your arms across your chest. Nick just stands there confused as hell, looking between the two of you.

“Anyway, I should get going.” You turn your body to Nick, a look of apology on your face.

“What? We can just go to my room?” he slurs, tugging on his pants uncomfortably, his boner still apparent.

“Sorry, no longer in the mood.”

You pull out your phone to order an Uber when Jungkook takes your phone from you.

“I’m not drunk, I can drive you.” He offers. You push your head back in disbelief, how does Jungkook have the AUDACITY to offer that to you?

“Why the fuck would I want that?”

“So we can…” His eyes slide over to the ever growing confused Nick, “Talk.”

You haven’t spoken to Jungkook in 3 months and today is finally the day you are able to breathe a little easier and he just has to barge back in.

“Like I said,” You snatch your phone back from him, “Why the fuck would I want that?”

Nick shifts around uncomfortably, his eyes darting from you to Jungkook.

“Well, I am gonna head to my room…uh, bye y/n…it was nice meeting you…I guess…”

You and Jungkook both turn your heads toward Nick at the same time, eyes shooting daggers at him.

“Yeah, bye.” Jungkook dismisses his roommate, his jaw clenching.

“Nice to meet you too…”

Nick walks backward until his back meets his bedroom room, he looks at the two of you one last time before turning around to disappear into his room.

“I said, let me drive you home.”

“And I said, why the fuck would I want that?”

“y/n don’t choose now to be difficult.” Jungkook takes a step closer to you, his hands running through his dark, messy hair. His eyes shut in frustration, “I just want to talk to you.”

“And I don’t want to talk to you.” You take a step back, “Plus, how would your girlfriend feel if you took me home?”

Jungkook’s eyes narrow, his mouth setting in a firm line.

“She’s not my girlfriend.”

“Could of fooled me and like, everyone else.” You scoff.

Jungkook bites down on his bottom lip, not knowing what to say. While she’s not his girlfriend she’s also not not his girlfriend. It’s complicated.

“Can I please, just please, can I take you home?”

“No, Jungkook. The fucking audacity,” you scoff again, “You haven’t spoken to me in 3 months,” your voice fucking cracks and you feel like dying. “Don’t start now.”

“y/n…” he runs another frustrated hand down his tired face, “I didn’t mean for it to go this long…” “I don’t fucking care, Jungkook.”

You feel your chest begin to burn, and your eyes begin to gloss over but you won’t cry. You won’t give him the satisfaction.

“I want nothing to do with you.”

You stare at the phone in your hands as you begin ordering your Uber when he yanks it from your hands once again, he hides the phone in his back pocket and you snarl.

“What the hell Jeon?”

“I said I am driving you home so we can talk so that’s what we are gonna fucking do, okay?” he grabs your hand and begins walking you towards the front door. There’s something about Jungkook...you decide to listen. You watch silently as he puts on his shoes and grabs his wallet and keys.

“Okay…” you finally answer, your voice timid.

He said you guys are going to talk but the car ride has been mostly silent save the low radio playing in the background. Maybe it’s better this way, you think. You aren’t sober, that’s for sure but you also don’t think you are drunk enough to handle this properly. You decide maybe that’s also for the best.

“You sir, are a fucking asshole.” You speak up, your fingers playing with the zipper of your purse. The car smells like it always does, his fresh laundry car freshener and you get sucked into a million memories linked with this scent.

“I know.” Jungkook eyes you from the driver seat, you shiver from the running AC and so he turns it down, “There’s a blanket in the back if you want to grab it.”

“No thanks, don’t know where that’s been.”

“It’s clean, I promise.”

Your eyes go wide as you recall his last promise to you…”Just a few days. I promise.”

“Yeah, I don’t actually believe in your promises anymore.” You continue to pick at the zipper of your purse, your eyes never leaving the zig and zag of the material.

“I needed space y/n, fucking sue me.” He groans out, his fingers gripping the steering wheel tightly.

“Oh I wish I could.” You snap back.

You feel your chest burn and tighten again, your eyes slightly watering. You have to force them shut to keep from any tears growing.

“I called and texted you every day.” You whisper, his grip getting tighter on the steering wheel.

“I gave you a few days Jungkook. But I never heard from you until 11 at night one night telling me you are fucking moving out.”

“I know, that was…fucked up, I admit. But I had to do what I had to do and I just wish you would let me explain that—”

“No.” you cut him off, “You don’t deserve to explain anything.”

“You mean so much to me y/n…”

“Don’t.”

Jungkook pulls over on the side of the road, turning off the ignition.

“What are you doing?” you sputter out.

He clicks his seatbelt off his body and turns to face you, “Getting comfortable.”

“Why?”

“Will you look at me?” Jungkook tilts his head towards you, “Will you please look at me?”

“No.” you stay facing forward, your hands folded in your lap.

“y/n…please.” His voice sounds strained and you almost feel bad. Almost, but not quite.

You don’t need this…you don’t need him. Ouch, you feel pain in your chest as you think that…oh, the lies you tell yourself.

“Say what you need to say Jungkook, so you can take me home.” Your face stays neutral.

Jungkook sighs out, feeling almost defeated, but not quite.

“I…I am so sorry.” He finally says.

“About what?”

“Everything y/n.” his voice cracks and somehow you feel satisfied.

“You’ll have to be more specific if you ever want my acceptance”

“I know…the first thing I am sorry for is not telling you about Taehyung. That was…that was wrong of me—”

“No shit, but go on.” Your voice stays steady as you speak.

“I was worried about other shit, I was selfish and it’s taking me a long time to forgive myself…but I’ve thought a lot about it these last few months and—and…”

“Oh? You’re worried about you forgiving yourself? Shouldn’t you be a little more concerned about I don’t know, me?”

Jungkook frowns at your words, because well, you’re right. And he’s getting to that part but you keep interrupting him. But he lets you.

“Yes. I am most worried about you, of course.” He breathes out. “You have no idea what these 3 months without you have felt like…”

“Really Jungkook? If anyone knows its fucking me. I went 3 months without you too. You left me!” you start to lose your composure as you speak, your hands gripping on to your poor purse. “When I was going through a really hard time you straight up left me.” You whisper.

“Please believe me…I had my reasons. It was truly for the best y/n.”

“For the best?” you scoff. “You’re such an asshole.”

Jungkook winces at your words, he knows you mean them and that hurts him even more.

“Can you just trust me?” Jungkook blurts out.

Huh? You shake your head, disappointed he would say something so …well, ridiculous.

“Just stop, Jungkook.” You hesitantly roll your eyes, still shaking your head.

Jungkook licks his lips over and over, trying to figure out his next words.

“I really really,” he begins to lose it, his eyes darting all around the car. “just need you to trust me.” He blinks repeatedly, his eyes not focusing on anything in particular.

You, of course, do not believe your ears. Trust him? How could you possibly trust him?

“I just really…I really had my reasons y/n. And I’m sorry, but I just need you to just trust me, that I had my reasons and that I do care about you.” His voice is shaky and you’re uncertain how to take this information.

“I’m confused…” you begin, you tuck a strand of hair behind your ear. “You want me to trust you? Even after you left me? Even after I ‘threw myself’ at you?!”

“You weren’t in the right head space y/n…you were vulnerable and…and you didn’t actually want me. You just were feeling used and rejected and needed something to make you feel wanted. To feel better. You wanted to use me for that and I couldn’t let you. But how much could I handle? You liked one of my friends, dated him…sort of, even slept with him and I had to be your shoulder to cry on when,” his breathing picks up heavily as he tries to speak, “it doesn’t matter.” He grits out.

You sit there…speechless. He wasn’t wrong, was he? You were feeling lost and rejected and used and you just wanted something or someone to feel better and who better than your best friend? But it’s also his fault you needed things to work out with Taehyung in the first place!

“Jungkook—”

“I’m not done.” He breathes out, his hot breath reaching your skin.

“I needed some space to think. But I realized I couldn’t properly think things through if I saw you every day, so yeah, I moved out. I’m sorry…” He runs a hand through his hair, a light chuckle makes it way past his lips “Then I met Vanessa.”

“I don’t want to talk about your little girlfriend.” You turn to face forward in your seat, your eyes glancing at the stop sign ahead.

“I told you, she’s not my girlfriend. But it is complicated.”

You continue to look straight ahead, your heart racing in your chest. The subject of “Vanessa” making you feel anxious.

“Complicated how?” you gulp.

“Don’t worry about it.” He laughs to himself, you turn your head to look at him.

“Are you serious, Jungkook?”

“We fuck y/n.”

“But it’s more than that right?”

“Yeah…” Jungkook bites down on his lip.

You look at him bewildered.

“Do you like her? Love her?”

You grip your purse in your lap, waiting for his answer. How would you feel if he answers yes? Are you brave enough to endure that answer? And if he says no? should you be happy? Should you feel relieved?

“No.” he closes his eyes, he folds his hands in front of him. “It’s complicated.”

You sign in relief—oh. Relief is the emotion you are feeling. Why? Why should it matter?

“Why are you telling me all of this?” you whisper.

“I want to be friends again, y/n.” he says softly, his eyes searching yours.

This is madness, how the hell could you save this friendship? Your face scrunches up and the first couple of tears slide down your cheeks, you shake your head as they continue to fall.

“You don’t know how this makes me feel…” you cry out. “I don’t even know how it makes me feel.”

You miss him, so fucking much and he’s right here offering himself to you. But you ‘re so hurt.

“y/n…I know I hurt you. But you gotta believe me when I say it is the hardest thing I have had to do…you understand that right? I had to do it…you understand right?” he begs.

“You were so quick to abandon me, Jungkook.” You drop your head into your hands, the tears uncontrollable now.

“I…” Jungkook begins to panic, his own eyes glossing over. “Fuck, I’m so sorry. Please y/n…I can make it up to you.”

“Things would never be the same, you get that right?” you bawl into your lap, your words coming out broken.

“Please baby, I just need you in my life again…” Jungkook admits, his own words choppy. He reaches his hand to touch you, to his surprise you don’t flinch. His hand cups the back of your head and he begins to massage it softly.

“I have missed you so much and nothing I mean nothing can replace you.” He hesitates to continue, “trust me…I have tried.”

You sob into your hands harder, the weight of his words crushing you.

“I’m sorry Jungkook but I…I don’t believe you.”

Jungkook’s eyes widen as he absorbs your words, his mouth falls open in shock. Don’t believe him?

“What—what do you mean? What are you saying?” his panic filled voice makes your stomach churn.

“I reject your offer. Now please take me home.” You lift your head and stare straight ahead. “I’m serious.”

Jungkook face twists into a bewildered expression, he doesn’t believe his ears. You…reject him?

“Wait—”

“I said take me home now.” This time you snap your face in his direction, the cold look in your eyes piercing his very soul.

“Okay.”

Hopeless: the dictionary describes it as without hope ; despairing. But in reality, it’s just a picture of Jungkook’s poor, poor face.

Jungkook parks in his designated spot in the lot of his apartment complex, he reverses in because why the hell not. So extra. His drive home was silent… not even the radio on a low volume keeping him company, just complete silence. He turns the car off but doesn’t make a move to get out, he just continues to sit here in his car and sigh out dramatically every 5 seconds.

He’s so confused and lost on what to do. He bangs his head against the steering wheel a few times just for the hell of it, he just…he didn’t think you would reject him. But honestly? Can he blame you? All he’s done lately is be selfish and mess up over and over again. But he wishes you could just trust him but he also wishes he could just tell you the truth. Maybe then you could understand his position and you wouldn’t be mad at him anymore. But he has to wait.

Jungkook’s head is still banging against the steering wheel when more thoughts of you bombard his mind. His breathing picks up and he starts to sniffle, he doesn’t want to cry but you just…you don’t want anything to do with him. He balls his hands into fists and hit the steering wheel over and over causing the horn to go off a few times but he doesn’t care he’s so upset, he just….

When Jungkook saw you tonight for the first time in 3 months he swears his heart actually stopped. He swears it raced so quickly that it just stopped. He let go of Vanessa’s hand so quickly because he wanted to rush to you and hug you close, he wanted to just feel you. Not having touched your skin for the last 3 months…he doesn’t want to imagine even another day.

A few tears slip past his closed lids, he chuckles darkly as he recalls you and Nick. He thought, wow, the universe is cruel and also hilarious. His fucking roommate? He shakes his head, laughing again but his lips remain downward. He feels so fucking helpless right now. But he deserves this, he deserves to feel this pain. He did this to himself and he’s fully aware of that.

Jungkook thinks of your face, he thinks of your smile, he thinks of your eyes and he cries harder, his tears landing on the steering wheel and sliding down landing on to his lap. Yes, he feels like all hope is lost but he knows he cannot give up. He will win you over again one day. He lifts his head and wipes his tear streaked cheeks with the back of his hand and breathes out steadily.

“y/n…” he whispers to himself. Your name leaves his mouth in frustration. He won’t give up. He can’t.

~~~~

“And they were roommates?!” Jimin shouts, a banana half sticking out of his mouth, Trina gasps and whispers “Oh my god they were roommates.”

“Yeah, it was a total shit show.” You bang your head against your breakfast table. Holly rubs your back as she sits next to you.

“Then what happened?” she pries further.

“Yeah what the hell happened y/n!” Jimin yells out.

“He asked to be friends again…and I totally rejected him. Maybe I was too harsh? He was so sad guys…it makes me think…I might agree to kind of being…friends?”

Jimin shuts his eyes as a frown decorates his face, he places a hand on his hip and he inhales a sharp breath, “Listen…you’re both my friends and of course I want you to be good again…but he hurt you …bad.”

“I know Jiminie, but his reasons…” you bite your lip, “Never mind.”

“Well, I don’t like it.” Trina butts in. “He fucking left you, remember?”

“Yes Trina, I fucking remember—”

“Then fucking act like it!”

“Trina relax,” Holly intervenes. “They have a long history, right? It’s hard to just forget about everything…”

Jimin stands from his chair, hands on both hips. “Fine, if we are doing this…then you better actually try. Don’t half ass shit, if you’re going to be friends then don’t be an asshole to him, don’t make snarky remarks…I know your ass.”

Jimin has a good point, you haven’t actually thought about how you will act.

“I’ll be a good girl.” You raise your right arm to salute him.

“Fucking smart ass.” He rolls his eyes.

“Are we serious right now?” Trina shakes her head, “You moped around for 3 fucking months y/n. You cried every time you even thought of Jungkook…which was a fucking lot.” She points out, “Listen, you stayed strong when you talked to him in the car. Don’t break just because you feel bad for the dude because he’s fucking pitiful. He doesn’t deserve your pity girl. He’s an asshole!”

“Trina, be nice.” Holly says sternly, reaching forward to grab on to Trina’s hand. Trina visibly relaxes and nods her head towards Holly and smiles softly.

You and Jimin share a look. Are they….?

“You…” You slam your eyes shut, Trina’s words ringing loudly in your ears. You know she’s right. “I’ll think about it some more. For now, I gotta get ready for work.”

~~~~

“Doesn’t Hazel look so pretty here?” Adam shoves his phone in your face as he gushes about his girlfriend.

“Yes dude, she’s so pretty.” You deadpan. “Now can you please put the brownies in the oven? We’re low.”

“Wait wait…here’s one of us together at the park.” He nudges his phone in your hands, you roll your eyes but you take it.

The two of them are sitting on a park bench, she’s leaning into his frame and they both have wide smiles on their faces. They seem so in love. And you know they are because fucking Adam reminds you every 20 seconds.

“Their love makes me sick.” Jade walks over, her hands patting down on her work apron, her tone is bland but she still tries to smile. “Like, we get it.”

“Who loves who more?” you begin with a toothy grin, “Adam to Hazel or Lenny to the sugar cookies?” you laugh while pointing at said Lenny stuffing his face with the reject cookies. Jade and Adam chuckle while they stare at him.

“Hey guys, really?” Lenny says with his mouth full. “You know I feel bad when we throw them away.” He pouts, crumbs decorating his lips.

“Lenny I catch you eating fresh ones all the time!” Adam points out.

“Sometimes they’re a little ugly…” Lenny reasons, “So I…”

“You don’t have to explain my guy, you just really love your cookies.” You hand Adam back his phone as you head towards the walk in freezer to take out the brownies yourself. You load up a tray and stick those suckers in the oven.

“You’re useless Adam.” Jade sticks a piece of gum in her mouth and chews obnoxiously “U-s-e-l-e-s-s. Useless.”

“You’re always so mean to me Jade what did I ever do to you?”

All 4 of you shoot your heads up when you hear the bell go off on the door of the bakery, its loud chime signaling the arrival of a customer.

“Oh.” Jade says while popping a bubble. “It’s your usual customer y/n.”

You tilt your head towards the front of the store to get a look at who she is talking about, and yup its him. Your most consistent customer who orders the same damn thing every single day. 2 oatmeal raisin cookies and that’s it.

“Can someone else just take care of him today?” you whine, “I’m not in the mood to argue.”

“You know he’s just going to ask for you…” Lenny says stuffing his face with another cookie.

“God damn it.” You huff out, you grab two gloves from the box on the counter and begin walking towards the front of the store.

You reach the front counter and take in your enemy—you mean, your customer.

“And what do I owe the pleasure Mister Oatmeal Raisin?” you raise a brow towards the man. He’s only a few inches taller than you, his hair is a sandy color today and you hate to admit it looks good on him.

“You know you could just call me by name.” the man sways side to side with a smirk on his face.

“I like Mister Oatmeal Raisin.”

He has been coming to this store for the last couple of months and you two…don’t necessarily get along swimmingly. He complains a lot and is a total smart ass. And you? Well, you’re not much better.

“Well, I’ll have my usual.” He smiles, “And you know the drill, please make sure there is a normal amount of raisins and not a million, I don’t want 8 raisins a bite. But one every now and then.”

You roll your eyes extremely dramatically, pressing the buttons on the screen for his order.

“Sir yes sir.” You salute towards him, “How could I not know the drill?”

“That’s the spirit.”

You spin on your heels and head towards the back to heat up his two cookies. You carefully select one cookie with barely any raisins and one cookie with a million, just like he didn’t want. You cackle to yourself as you place them in the baggy, feeling beyond satisfied.

“How haven’t you gotten fired?” Adam crosses his arms over his chest as he watches you, “And how hasn’t he complained about you? You do this every time I don’t get it.”

“He likes her.” Jade says plainly while scrolling through her phone.

“As fucking if!” you scoff, “He wants nothing but to annoy me!” But you can’t help but smile.

“He literally only asks for you every time you’re in.” Lenny reasons, “but you shouldn’t like him back…he likes the worst cookie on the menu. Sugar is where it’s at.”

You laugh at your coworker while walking back up towards the front of the store, reaching the counter.

“Your cookies!” you hand him the baggy with an evil smirk, “I hope you enjoy them.” You wink.

The man opens the baggy and inspects each cookie and with his own evil smirk he winks back at you, “Are we serious right now?” his sly smile doesn’t leave his face as he begins to complain, “You are such a brat.”

“$4 Mister Oatmeal Raisin.”

He hands you the cash, you put it away quickly and with a wide smile you gesture towards the door for him to leave.

“Min Yoongi.” He shakes the bag of cookies in front of him, “Not Mister Oatmeal Raisin.” He turns around and starts walking towards the door but before he exits he tilts his head to look at you one last time, “See you tomorrow…y/n.”

You feel a harsh blush creep up on your cheeks, or your whole face actually. Maybe your whole body. You feel taken aback he knows your name but then you remember you have a god damn name tag.

“Uh…yeah.”

“See you tomorrow…y/n.” all 3 of your coworkers mock in a deep voice.

“Shut up guys!” you whine into your hands, “Can we please just get back to work!”

~~~~~

A few weeks later

The drive to Jimin’s is a quick 7 minutes but you did take a little detour. You decided to stop at the pizzeria that’s on the way and grab a hot pizza for the two of you.

“Hehe.” You look over to the steamy food sitting in the passenger seat.

Jimin has been such a great friend to you all this time and you feel like you’ve never really thanked him…so, tonight you two are going to have a fun night in—he just doesn’t know it yet.

Who doesn’t love being surprised with food?

You pull up to Jimin’s apartment complex and after driving in circles you finally find a parking spot. You grab your purse, your backpack, and the pizza and make your way up to his apartment.

You knock on his front door a few times but get no answer. Maybe he’s not home? No, you definitely hear music coming from the other side…so, you decide to call him.

“Hello?”

“Jimin~ let me in!” you sing into the phone.

“You’re—you’re here?”

“Let me in already!” and with that you hang up and wait patiently outside the door.

A few moments pass before the door is opening up, when Jimin really registers that it’s you he’s kind of closing the door until only his face is shown through the crack.

“Ummm…yes?”

You quirk a brow at the boy, “What do you mean ‘yes?’ let me in!” you begin walking forward when a panicked Jimin opens the door wider to let himself outside and shut the door behind him.

“y/n…why are you here? Did we have plans tonight?” he looks down at the pizza in your hands.

“Not exactly…” you admit, “But I figured we could have a night in.”

Jimin frowns. Fucking frowns!

“Or not?” you say awkwardly.

You hear some sort of banging on the other side of the door and then it clicks.

“Oh? You have someone over?” you smirk.

“Uhhh…no. Nothing like that.” Jimin’s eyes slide to the side as he tries to think of what to say next.

“Babe—”

“Jimin!”

The door is being swung wide open and your eyes travel from some horrendous toes socks to some tight jeans to a striped t shirt to yes, Jungkook’s surprised face.

“Oh.” You both say at the same time.

You and Jungkook stare at one another for a few moments, neither of your eyes leaving the other when Jimin clears his throat.

“Sorry y/n. Jungkook is already over…” he gives you an apologetic smile.

“Is it just you two?” you ask quietly.

“Huh? Uh, yeah.”

You glance down at the pizza and think to yourself. You and Jungkook may not be friends but you can be civil? Yeah, totally! You can definitely be civil! You already bought this fucking pizza so you and Jimin are going to eat it! And you guess, Jungkook too.

“Okay, let me in.” you start shoving your way past Jimin, you watch as his and Jungkook’s eyes go wide.

“Maybe you didn’t hear him, but I am already hanging out with him?” Jungkook sputters out. He awkwardly moves to the side anyway to let you through.

“I can be civil with you Jungkook. Plus, I don’t want this pizza to go to waste. So let’s eat.” You walk through, nudging the pizza box into Jungkook’s hands, he takes it while looking at Jimin with shocked eyes.

Jimin just shrugs and follows you inside.

“Yeah, let’s eat.” He says nonchalantly.

Jungkook is left at the door with the pizza in his hands as he is left completely dumbfounded. He is malfunctioning.

“Jungkook?” you call out over your shoulder, “Hurry up, I’m hungry!”

“Yeah, Jungkook hurry up!” Jimin smirks, he isn’t totally sure what’s going on but he kind of likes it.

“So what were you guys doing before I got here?” you shove an entire slice of pizza down your throat, the sauce getting left behind on your lips.

“I was teaching Jungkook some of my dance moves…we made a bet that he couldn’t learn the entire routine in 3 times…and—”

“Let me guess, he fucking learned it.” You laugh.

Jimin groans, his head thrown back as he begins nodding his head ‘yes.’

“So annoying! What can’t he do!” Jimin throws the pizza crust in the box and Jungkook immediately picks it up and eats it.

“Pshh, I could name a few things.” You point out bitterly. “But we won’t get into that.”

“Yeah, please don’t.” Jimin pleads.

“I’m curious…what is it you think I cant do?” Jungkook quirks a brow at you and your eyes darken in his direction.

“You really want me to?” you take a napkin and wipe your lips, “It’s nothing nice.” You admit.

“Oh then yes, please don’t.” Jungkook is quick to say.

“Yes, please don’t.” Jimin begs again.

The 3 of you are sitting on the living room floor, maybe only 30 minutes or so has passed by and it’s not too awkward. But it’s not necessarily comfortable either. Jimin looks between you and Jungkook constantly, waiting for someone to crack but neither of you really speak to each other. Both of you really only communicating with Jimin.

“So Jimin, are you going to show me another routine?”

“Why? So you can prove you’re the master of everything again? No thanks.”

“Jimin, maybe you can show me a few steps?”

Jimin smiles awkwardly while Jungkook is quick to burst out laughing. You snap your head towards Jungkook and raise your brows at him.

“Why is Jungkook laughing, Jimin?”

“Umm…” Jimin smiles softly, “You aren’t the most…”

Jungkook laughs harder as he watches Jimin trying to explain.

“Aren’t the most…?” You tilt your head towards the boy.

“C’mon y/n don’t make me say it…” Jimin drags out his words in a whine, he plays with his fingers, looking around the room awkwardly.

“Just say it Jimin.” Jungkook chuckles out.

“If you’re trying to say I’m a bad dancer, we all know that’s not true!” you defend once you catch on, you pout at the boys.

“Well…”

“You have both told me I am a good dancer!”

“Well, you know how to move. But steps…following a routine…that’s different. You aren’t very coordinated.” Jimin finally admits, a sheepish grin on his face.

“He means you can roll your hips but your feet are clumsy as fuck.” Jungkook says, still laughing at the situation.

“Shut up.” You glare at Jungkook.

“No, he’s right.” Jimin begins laughing as well, he looks at you and smiles. Well, if Jimin is saying it…maybe it might be true. It’s not like you didn’t kind of know. But still!

“Fine, whatever. Don’t teach me then.”

Suddenly, Jimin’s phone is going off and he rushes to the kitchen to answer it. You and Jungkook eat your pizza in silence, awkwardly catching one another’s gaze.

“So—”

“Don’t talk to me.” You cut in. Jimin isn’t here so it’s not like you have to be totally social with Jungkook.

“Oh.” Jungkook dramatically slumps his shoulders and pouts. You watch him as he throws a silent fit like the baby he is. “Okay.”

Jimin walks back into the living room looking annoyed, he stands between you two and throws a hand on his hip.

“I have to go down to the front office, there was a mix up in packages…I shouldn’t take too long…” he bites down on his plump bottom lip, “Please be civil while I’m gone. Jungkook…” he looks at the boy then at you, “y/n…” he warns.

“Sir yes sir!” you salute towards your friend with a straight face.

Jimin only narrows his eyes as he looks between you two.

“I’m serious…” he says.

Then he is putting on some shoes and heading out the front door, the soft click making you shudder. You’re alone with Jungkook.

A few minutes pass and you both awkwardly just sit there, sometimes catching the other looking. You finally huff out and accidentally giggle.

“What’s funny?” Jungkook’s curiosity getting the best of him.

“It’s just…I feel like we’re Jimin’s divorced parents and we’re trying to be civil for our child.”

Jungkook stares at you with scrunched brows, then looks away while a chuckle escapes his lips.

“Yeah. You’re right.”

You only nod your head in response. You two go back to the awkward silence.

You aren’t used to this…this awkward and odd silence that lingers between you two. It feels so fucking suffocating you almost wish you were on total talking terms so you didn’t have to endure this shit show.

“You know I could…no, forget it.” Jungkook bites his nails as he speaks, “I…”

“What?” you don’t mean to snap at him, but somehow even talking with an attitude feels better than not talking at all.

“I was going to say…I could teach you some steps…then you could surprise Jimin. He’s been working on a salsa piece…I can teach you some? Then maybe he will stop talking shit on your dancing.” Jungkook laughs awkwardly.

“Wait—he talks shit?!” somehow this doesn’t surprise you in the least.

“Only a little.” Jungkook shows you how little with his pointer finger and thumb. “But uh, want me to show you?”

“I don’t even want to talk to you, you think I want to dance with you?” you raise a brow in amusement. You forget this boy has all the audacity.

“Dancing doesn’t have to have any talking.” Jungkook states with a sly smile.

“So you’re just going to show me the steps?”

“Precisely.”

You don’t know why, but this sounds better than actually speaking and/or just sitting in miserable silence. And maybe, just maybe you have a desire to be close to him.

“You think I could learn in time before Jimin gets back?”

“With me as your teacher? Definitely.” He fucking smirks at you and you can’t help but feel that feeling in your stomach. Not necessarily a bad feeling but a fucking feeling.

Jungkook stands to his feet and extends his hand out to you for you to take.

“Here, stand up.”

Your eyes travel from his hands to his eyes and you blink lazily at him…wait, you’re really doing this? He stares down at you and he smiles softly and it creates a warmth in your chest that you’re trying so hard to ignore. You can’t.

Even so, you hesitantly begin to reach up to grab on to his hand, once your skin touches his you feel it. The burning. You should be used to it but right now, the fire is raging and the heat is almost too much. But you let him close his hand over yours as he helps you up.

You’re now standing in front of one another, in complete silence again. But this time it’s not awkward—no, it’s a different type of tension. Your hand lingers in his, neither of you brave enough to let go of the other. Jungkook looks down at you and you up at him, and you feel a million things. But the number one thing you feel is pain. You slowly pull your hand back and break eye contact with him, your head dropping low.

“Show me already.” You whisper.

“Shh, no talking.” Jungkook quietly demands. “Only speak with your body.” He puts some music on the speakers and smirks at you.

Jungkook steps closer to you and you stay grounded in your spot, you can feel the heat of his body begin to radiate and warm you. One of his hands find yours, he weaves his fingers through your own and puts one hand on your hip, he looks down at you to warn you this is how he will guide you.

“Just follow me.”

“You said no talking Mr.Jeon.” you say almost under your breath as you stare into his eyes. Jungkook rolls his head back with a smirk on his face, he looks at you and nods.

He puts his left foot forward and steps with his right foot in the same place at center, then puts his left foot back again. You try to copy his moves but even with such simple steps you step on his feet. He looks up at you disapprovingly. You only smile at him.

You two continue to try these steps until you finally manage to understand them even just a little bit. Jungkook brings your body closer to his as you two move your hips to the music while following the simple steps. His chest flush against your own, his heart beating so loudly you can feel it. Your heart isn’t any better. You start to finally get the hang of it, the music slowly taking you to another place. Jungkook moves his hips to the beat so flawlessly and honestly? You’re doing pretty fucking good if you do say so yourself.

Jungkook’s grip on your hip tightens as he grinds himself closer to you, you feel lightheaded as you two dance to the song. Your breathing getting just a little heavier and you feel lost and pathetic but you’re too immersed in the dance to care. Jungkook finds his head falling into the crook of your neck, his hot breaths fanning against your sensitive skin and you find your hand skimming up his back until you have a handful of his hair. You lightly tug on his locks and Jungkook quietly groans. You don’t know if you’re even doing the right steps anymore, your feet moving all around the place, but somehow it’s working. You’re still following his lead and you’re sure the dance looks somewhat okay. All you care about is how both of your hips move to the beat of the music and into each other. You two are so in sync its driving you nuts.

Jungkook lifts his head and watches as you close your eyes and he closes his own eyes, his head falling forward, your foreheads close to touching. You feel so dizzy, so light and airy, so fucking great like you’re floating. You can’t help but feel the heat creep up your entire body, you feel sweat start to build as you two move. You tighten your hands around Jungkook’s neck and pull him down impossibly close, until his forehead is touching yours. Your harsh breaths mingling with his. You get dragged into the memory of when he had you pinned to his dorms mattress, you recall how his lips left kisses all along your throat, his hot breath reminding you of the past. You think of how he rolled his hips into you effortlessly then as well, you think of how you scraped your nails down his back as he thrusted into you. God, you need to think of something else but Jungkook is filling your mind.

Jungkook’s breathing picks up again, as does yours. Your memories making this dance that much more sensual. You remember the way Jungkook nibbled on your ear as he let filthy words spill from his mouth when he fucked you. God, you should not be thinking this but his body feels so good. God, you should think of anything…literally anything else. You remember how he held you close much like how he is right now. You two continue dancing to the song that is soon coming to an end. You know exactly how it feels to have Jungkook inside you, moving and stilling. You know exactly what it feels like to come all around his cock. God, you need to stop. You need to slow your breathing. God, you…you…you...he continues to guide you along to the music when you feel something hard poke against you. Oh. Oh. OH. Hard. He’s hard.

Immediately, you pull back and take several clumsy steps backward. You blink at him with wide eyes when you realize that maybe he was recalling the same memories as you. Your wide eyes concerning Jungkook.

“Okay, that’s enough lessons for today.” Your harsh breaths don’t go unnoticed by Jungkook, his own breathing quite unsteady.

“Right.” Jungkook mumbles.

You two stand around for a few moments, just taking in the experience you just shared.

You still feel…how do you feel? You just shared a hot dance with your best friend? Wait—ex best friend? You don’t know. The memory of his body moving with yours, his skin touching your skin, his breaths on your neck, his hair balled up in your hands. God, it felt so good.

But so wrong.

“Umm…thanks.” You finally say.

Jungkook perks up at the gratitude, even if it’s somewhat forced. His frown turns into a small smile and you can’t help but smile back.

“I miss you y/n.” Jungkook instantly regrets it by the look on your face. Your expression turning hard. “Sorry I—”

“No, I miss you too.” You answer honestly. “But this doesn’t change anything.”

“But why not? Do you really not want me in your life for like, ever?”

Jungkook’s questions settle deep within you. The depth they hold…it’s too much. You wonder? Is this anti-Jungkook thing permanent? Or are you just trying to teach him a lesson?

Jungkook rubs his temples as he thinks, he sighs out instead of talking more.

“Not forever.” You finally say. Jungkook looks at you, a sliver of hope flashes across his face.

“But when?” he asks softly.

Yeah y/n. When? You know you both can’t go back to how things use to be but maybe starting over? God, you don’t know what to do! You know someone like Trina will be disappointed you became friends with Jungkook again so quickly, but you know someone like Jimin would be happy his two friends are back to being on okay terms. Why are you trying to please everybody? What do you want?

“Will you ever give up?” you say a little more lightly.

“No…” he says under his breath, his eyes focusing on the TV. “Not until you agree to be my friend again.”

You look at Jungkook with disbelief written all over your face, this boy has the fucking audacity once again. You’re amused though.

“Excuse me?” you say, cleaning your ear out with your point finger. “I didn’t catch that.”

Jungkook looks into your eyes, his eyes are large and doe like and it brings you back to every moment ever that he has given you this look.

“You’re stuck with me until you love me again.” He says more firmly.

“Who said,” you look at him with soft eyes, “That I ever stopped loving you?”

Jungkook smiles, he fucking smiles. His adorable bunny smile that makes your heart race.

“You still love me?”

“Only a little.” You jut your lip out, “I mostly hate you.”

Jungkook only frowns for a second before he is smiling again, “That’s fair.”

The two of you stand in comfortable silence for a few minutes, you sway back and forth wondering what you want to say to him—you miss him, of course but…

“Let’s take it slow.” You finally break the silence. You miss him more than anything and it might be worth it to have him in your life again, “You aren’t going to be a priority in my life anymore.” You crack you knuckles, the sound filling up the room.

“I know,” Jungkook feels his heart twist at your words but at least it’s something. “We can go however slow you want y/n.”

“You are on—”

“Thin fucking ice, buddy. I know.”

You exhale a shaky breath, thinking about how to go about this, “We can text every now and then, I’m not sure I want to hang out with you quite yet.”

“Okay.”

“Maybe a group hang out first…”

“I’d like that.”

Jungkook reaches over to grab your hand but you pull back, “That’s a no from me for the affection.”

Hurt flashes across Jungkook’s features but he softens up as he nods his head. “Noted.”

You wonder if you’re making the right decision. This wasn’t easy, you know? This actually felt quite hard. But somehow you feel like some weight has been lifted off your shoulders, like things maybe just maybe will be okay.

“I won’t push myself on you, I promise.” Jungkook sits back down on the floor, crossing his legs.

“Just be yourself, Jungkook.”

“If I wanted to be myself I would be hugging you right now but that’s apparently off limits.” He jokes.

“One hug.” You open your arms timidly. You feel one hug can’t be too bad?

Jungkook widens his eyes in pleasant surprise. He stands to his feet again and opens his own arms.

“C’mere.”

You watch in disbelief as he grins with his arms wide open, expecting you to go to him! And you do. You fucking do.

His arms wrap around you, he pushes you into his chest and you feel so fucking good. So warm, so cozy. His scent making you feel dizzy again, his warmth causing you to heat up. You lean back and look at his content face, he honestly looks so fucking content. Like, this hug is everything to him. And maybe it is, but you don’t know that.

“Uh, am I interrupting something?” you both snap your heads toward the front door to see Jimin standing there with a package in his hands.

“I can come back later?” he smirks at you two.

“No no no no!” you drop your arms from hugging Jungkook and take a few steps back, “We were just—”

“We made up, Jimin.” Jungkook says calmly with the softest smile you’ve ever seen on him.

“We’re taking it slow!” you rush to say.

“Oh?” Jimin winks, he walks forward until he’s in the living room joining you two. “Does this mean you will be joining us this Thursday at Jungkook and Nick’s place?”

“Huh?”

Jungkook shifts on his feet, “Yeah, uh, me and Nick are having a small get together on Thursday…you can bring whoever you want…but you’re definitely invited.”

“Before I answer that…Jimin how did you not know about Nick and him being Jungkook’s roommate?”

“Listen! Jungkook is always HERE! I never go over there! The few times I was there Nick was never home okay?!” Jimin whines obnoxiously.

“Okay, whatever. And Jungkook, I said—”

“You said group hang outs.” Jungkook pouts.

Oh. You did say that. But this soon? And is she going to be there?

You chew on your lips before answering, “Okay. But I’m bringing Trina and Holly.”

“Oh bro, Trina is not your biggest fan.” Jimin cuts in.

“Yeah, I know how she is I already anticipated that.” Jungkook shrugs, he looks at you with a small smile.

Okay, starting over? Taking it slow? Can you and Jungkook do this? You look between the boys and smile,

“Okay. See you boys on Thursday.”

#bts #bts smut #bts angst #bts fluff #jeon jungkook #jungkook x reader #jungkook smut #jungkook angst #jungkook fluff #taehyung angst

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starryeyedmunson · 3 years

Text

final lullaby - b.b.

pairing: bucky barnes x female!reader

summary: After being hurt very badly in a mission, you imagine you and Bucky living a better life together.

warnings: angst, light fluff, but the angst is real, mention of wounds, needles

word count: 1.5 k

a/n: this is based off of the song “Final Lullaby” by The Weeknd because I’m absolutely in love with that song and I felt like writing! I know it has been literally so long but I’ve been so up and down mental health wise and finally am gonna start using my blog again sooooo here’s to new beginnings! I hope you all enjoy :)

“F.R.I.D.A.Y. read vitals, now!”

“Vitals unstable, Mr. Stark.”

“Shit,” Tony mumbled under his breath. After going on seemingly simple mission, you were now lying in the back of the quinjet fighting to stay alive. You tried to speak but only sputtering coughs of blood came out, most likely due to the bullet that had collapsed your lung.

“Shh, don’t speak. J-Just try and breathe,” Bucky stuttered as he looked down at your bruised face. He was holding back tears as Steve and Tony injected you with anesthetics, and he cupped your cheek with his flesh hand. “Everything is going to be just fine, I promise, doll.”

You nodded your head and he half smiled at you, but the smile faded as he looked down your body that was covered in blood. You felt your eyelids growing heavy, but you knew that if you closed them, Bucky would break down completely. You tried your best to keep them open as Natasha and Wanda came up to the table you were lying on, and you watched as your two best friends scanned over your wounds with increasingly worried faces.

“Damnit, Y/N, I told you not to go in there alone,” Natasha said, shaking her head.

“W-We both know h-how bad of a listener I-I am” you managed to get out. The corners of Natasha’s mouth turned upwards as she shook her head, remembering all of the times you had gone against her advice and gotten yourself into trouble.

You looked up at her, and for a moment you shared those memories and smiled at each other. But you were brought back to reality with Tony’s relentless pushing of needles into your body, releasing anesthetics and taking blood with every prick of your skin. Your eyes wandered over to Bucky, who was now standing a little ways away from the table with Steve. You couldn’t hear what they were saying, but judging by the looks on their faces it was nothing good. You took a deep breath, only to have it cut short by a violent cough, and you felt your eyes beginning to close with the newest sedative injection from Tony.

“It’s not looking good, Buck,” Steve said hesitantly. He watched as Bucky bit his fingernails and stared intently at the monitor that was hooked up to his girlfriend. Steve had practically dragged him away from your side, and he saw that Natasha was now doing her best to make you feel better. He smiled sadly at the sight of you two exchanging words, knowing how much you two factored into each others’ stability. “Did you hear me?” Steve said again, snapping Bucky back to reality.

“What? Oh, she’ll make it through,” Bucky said in reassurance. But at this point, he didn’t know if he was reassuring Steve or himself. His thoughts traveled back to the day he first met you, and he reminisced on how perfectly imperfect you looked; your hair a complete mess having just woken up, your dad’s oversized t-shirt stopping just in the middle of your thighs, and the way you blushed furiously and ran away to put more clothes on. Bucky smiled at the memory of you stumbling over your words as you attempted to make up for the embarrassing state you had met him in, even though he wouldn’t have wanted to meet you in any other way.

Steve could tell Bucky was holding on to a broken hope, and when he looked over at your unconscious frame, he knew what he needed to do. He walked over to Wanda and whispered into her ear, to which she nodded her head slightly and the two of them walked back over to Bucky.

“Bucky, she doesn’t have much time left,” Wanda said slowly. Bucky’s eyes grew watery and he said nothing, staring at your body on the table. Your breaths were ragged, yet you still looked so peaceful, so beautiful to him.

“I- I can’t lose her, Steve,” Bucky choked out. Steve took his best friend’s hand in his and tried his best to comfort him.

“I know, pal.”

“There’s something I can do, to make it easier for her,” Wanda said quietly. Bucky looked at her and nodded, following her back to the table on which you laid. She placed her hand on your head and took Bucky’s flesh hand with the other, closing her eyes and beginning to concentrate.

Your eyes fluttered open and you looked around. Somehow you were standing in what looked like an old club, and you looked down at your body to reveal old 1940s clothing. Confused, you looked back up and saw the sign of the building you were in, reading “The Stork Club” in bright, large letters.

“Hi, doll,” Bucky said from behind you, causing you to turn around and smile. He was wearing his sergeant suit, hat and all, and he looked absolutely dashing. He smiled down at you, taking in your beauty as you blushed and looked down. “You look beautiful.”

“Thank you, but where are we?” You asked, still unknowing of what happened and how you got to an entirely different point in time. Bucky shook his head as sadness filled his eyes, and you slowly began to realize what was going on. “Am I–”

“Let’s not talk about it, can we just enjoy this little moment we have to ourselves?” He asked quietly, running the back of his hand down your cheek. You nodded and gave a small smile, allowing him to take you to the dance floor. He spun you around, eliciting a laugh from you as you both danced to the music, taking in all of each other. Bucky had taught you how to dance before during one of the nights you had come to be with him after a nightmare, and you were trying to remember how as Bucky now spiraled you around the floor. You both smiled and laughed, stealing quick kisses as the music played loudly in the background.

“I would have loved the forties,” you said breathlessly once the music had slowed down.

“Yes, doll, you would have fit right in,” Bucky replied, pressing a kiss to your forehead as he pulled you in close. “I love you, Y/N.”

Your smile faded as you looked up at him, noticing the pain in his expression. “I love you too, Bucky.”

“Please don’t go,” he whispered, tears beginning to fill his eyes. “I don’t know what I’ll do–”

This time it was your turn to shush him, bringing his head to yours and pressing your lips against his. His grip on your waist tightened as he deepened the kiss, your lips moving perfectly with each others’ as if they were made to do so. You ran your fingers through the locks of hair that were exposed under his hat, running your nails ever so lightly down the back of his neck. His tongue ran against your bottom lip and you granted him entrance into your mouth, both of you feeling lost in each others’ presence. You pulled away, smiling up at him and running your thumb over the highpoints of his cheek. “If Wanda’s watching we better not give her too much of a show.”

Bucky laughed and pulled you closer, your head resting against his chest as you two swayed back and forth.

“Bucky?”

“Yes, my love?” he answered, running his fingers through your hair.

“Don’t worry about me,” you said, your words muffled by his chest. You could feel his breathing become more rapid, and you looked up at him and took his face into your hands. “Everything is going to be just fine,” you said, mimicking his words from before. His eyes closed as he sighed, his breath shaky.

“I’m going to miss you so much,” he whispered, pressing his forehead against your own. You smiled sadly and wrapped your arms around his neck, lifting your head to kiss him atop his forehead.

“I know, as will I. But you have to promise me that you won’t go down a dark path after I’m gone,” you said, making him look at you. He opened his tear-filled eyes and nodded his head, looking down at your comforting smile. “I love you forever, Buck.”

Finally letting the tears fall from his eyes, Bucky pulled you in and gave you a small kiss, both of you closing your eyes and savoring the moment you had together.

Wanda loosened her grip on Bucky’s hand as the machine you were hooked up to finally played a lasting beep, and she gave him a sad smile as she got up and joined the rest of the team at the other end of the quinjet. Bucky’s fresh tears had stained the floor where they fell as he looked at your now peaceful body lying on the table, and he took your lifeless hand in his and pressed a small kiss to your fingers.

“I love you forever more.”

#bucky barnes imagine #bucky barnes x reader #bucky x reader #bucky barnes #bucky x y/n #bucky imagine #bucky fanfic #bucky x female reader #bucky x you #bucky

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lostalioth · 3 years

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𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘭𝘢𝘴𝘵 𝘴𝘶𝘮𝘮𝘦𝘳 ; 𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘷𝘦

summary: “steve, are you sure about this?” you hesitated as you questioned with furrowed brows. he simply nodded his head and stated one simple fact. “I love you smiley I always will” causing you to smile wide.

warnings: fluff and angst, pre-serum!steve , he is eventually then post-serum!steve, first avenger!steve x female!reader, I have no idea how to describe the relationship so fwb? , if you think too hard about it yes steve is a dick in this kinda, sad ending.

inspired by: our last summer from mamma mia (2008) (the lyrics are in italics)

authors note: this was a very strange fic idea I had and I didn’t execute it exactly how I wanted but I am still very happy with it! also yes I did somewhat copy the Peggy and Steve scene from ca:tfa when Steve crashes in the water at the end. ANYWAY ENJOY!

Steve Grant Rogers. Your childhood best friend, the boy you grew up with. You’d spend a dozen summers in Brooklyn running around with him. Laughing and causing trouble. You both loved messing with Bucky, he hated it.

“Hey smiley come here” Steve hollered at you from across the park where the two of you always played.

“Coming Stevie!!” You yelled back and ran off the large and colorful playground set over to Steve who was standing by a bench. “What is it?” You questioned softly with a whisper like you’d be in trouble for seeing what it was he had.

He shoved his small fist at you, which held a couple flowers in it. Small red ones that were your favorite. You take them of his clenched fist.

You may only be 6 but you know Stevie would love you forever.

I can still recall, Our last summer, I still see it all, Walks along the Seine, Laughing in the rain, Our last summer, Memories that remain

One summer around when you were both 16, it changed everything you knew.

Things evolved past a friendship and fast with Steve. He was still your best friend except now he’d kiss you and love you and you’d get to act like he was yours and he was for that summer.

just that one summer.

It was the deal, it was to test it out. A one summer fling to have fun.

“Steve, are you sure about this?” You hesitated as you questioned with furrowed brows. He simply nodded his head and stated one simple fact. “I love you smiley I always will” Causing you to smile wide.

The smile he loved so much.

What could go wrong? It would be just one summer right?

Expect the fact that it has happened every summer since then.

Everytime summer would come around he would become more than your best friend. You’d go dancing, he’d take you on dates, he’d kiss you under the stars, he’d act like you were his girl and he’d love you til the summer was over.

You didn’t mind, you’d take this type of relationship with Steve in any way you could’ve got it. You had always liked him even though he was a bit too dense to notice it. But It didn’t matter that once the summer ended and you went back home and the summer fling would be gone.

“You know the summer is over now” he’d sigh and you’d pout as your eye brimmed with tears. Always. And you hug him tight. “You know the deal, this is how this works smiley, it’s better this way” and he kisses you one last time. Before he becomes just your best friend again and you leave to go back home.

He was still your best friend at the end of the summer. He always was. No matter what happened during the summer. And lots would happen but it never affected your friendship.

But all the feelings and all the love from him faded with the warm summer air.

Your love however never faded.

We made our way along the river, And we sat down in the grass by the Eiffel tower, I was so happy we had met, It was the age of no regret, Oh, yes

You really didn’t care one bit. The summer came back around as fast as it left.

Leading you back to where you belonged.

In Steve’s arms and having the time of your life.

“I love you Stevie” you mumbled against his lips as his hands caressed your body.

“I love you as well smiley” he grinned and kisses you deep and longingly prepared to stir the big pot of emotions again for the summer.

It didn’t matter, no matter how badly it hurt you in the winter or fall, when he’d tell you stories of the double dates Bucky would pull him along on, Or how pretty the girls were that he’d meet.

Those crazy years, That was the time of the flower-power, But underneath, We had a fear of flying, Of growing old, A fear of slowly dying, We took a chance, Like we were dancing our last dance

The tradition of the summer fling was cut short when one summer Steve had finally gotten into the army at 21.

He tried every possible time he could sense he turned 18.

You don’t know how he did it but he did and you were crushed.

He wrote to you as much as he possibly could.

And when he told you about the serum you had no idea how to react. You couldn’t see him.

How different would he look? Did it affect his brian making him feel differently? Did it hurt? Was he no longer the sweet small boy who always stood shorter than you?

You had no idea what it really did to him

I can still recall, Our last summer, I still see it all, In the tourist jam, Round the Notre Dame, Our last summer, Walking hand in hand, Paris restaurants

Our last summer, Morning croissants, Living for the day, Worries far away, Our last summer, We could laugh and play

The few months he didn’t write to you were a wreck. You missed your Stevie so much and you were worried the serum would have changed him so much that he would no longer be the little kid you grew up with. The one you fell in line with.

That scrawny little kid who tried his darndest to always protect you. Even if it meant getting the shit beat out of him. He’d do it to protect you.

And now you're working in a bank, A family man, a football fan, And your name is Harry, How dull it seems, Are you the hero of my dreams?

And when you had finally seen him it was around the summer again..

He had slowly stopped writing due to him being busy. Busy doing what?

Just being the Captain America.

Fighting in the war as well as performing and entertaining people. And he was doing a show in your city.

“Little Stevie isn’t so little anymore” you began to tease the man standing now 6”2 in front of you. He was no longer the little 5”4 kid from Brooklyn you grew up with. It stung a bit as you were no longer taller.

“SMILEY!” He exclaimed as he lifted you up and spun you around. “Alright down super soldier down!” You squeal with a huge smile on your face.

“You haven’t changed a bit” he chuckled as he lifted your chin up to look at him. You instantly melt into his touch.

“And you changed quite a lot” you lightly chuckle as you bite back the tears of seeing him making your smile fade. He pulls you up to your tippy toes to smash his lips into yours. Millions of emotions wash over you once again like summer waves as a huge smile reforms on your face. “Now, there’s my smiley girl” he praised as you fall right back in love with your best friend.

He had changed so much and yet the summer tradition had continued when you finally met again. He had somehow gotten you a job as one of the dancers for the show he puts on and the whole summer was filled with Steve’s love once again.

A love which faded as it always did.

I can still recall, Our last summer, I still see it all, In the tourist jam, Round the Notre Dame, Our last summer, Walking hand in hand

I can still recall, Our last summer,I still see it all, Walks along the Seine, Laughing in the rain, Our last summer, Memories that remain

“No Stevie please don’t” you began sobbing as you begged him over the intercom of the plane that was headed for New York. He was currently trying to force land it, expect..

Except he insisted he needed to land it in the water.

“Smiley this is my choice..I need to do this” he tried his hardest to plead with you. He pulled out the compass he carried everywhere with him, opening it up to a picture of you in the top of it. He sat it gently on the dash of the plane. He then begun to force the plane to fly downwards.

“Smiley..” he pleaded. “I’m here Stevie.” You sob out in response.

“I’m gonna need a rain check on our summer..” he chuckled lightly as he knew what he said didn’t quite make sense. “But Stevie then it wouldn't be summer.. the rule wouldn’t apply anymore” you sobbed out harder as the intercom picked up the hurtling winds from the plane traveling at a high speed down.

“That’s the point, smiley.. I wanna be with you when it’s not summer”

“Then you better get your ass back here Steve” you began to smile softly

“I’ll try my hardest smil-“ and then the intercom cut out. You fall to your knees and let out a loud sob.

You never saw him again after that summer.

And you never truly smiled again.

#first avenger #steve rogers #steve x reader #steve x female reader #our last summer #song fic #steve fanfiction #steve fluff #pre serum steve #post serum steve #fwb fic #fwb to lovers #steve grant rogers #steve imagine #summer #angst #sad ending

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jiminiesfavouritecolourisblue · 3 years

Text

If you leave - bodyguard/royal au part 2

^ that counts as a request right? Angst below, I don’t know what fluff is anymore but I think there’s a sprinkle of it somewhere... I think.

Prev | Next

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“Baby let’s dance.”

If you closed your eyes you could almost imagine it was Jimin’s voice, but you don’t want to think about him now, that’s not why you’re here in blinding lights and deafening music, you want to forget, you need to forget.

“Not with you,” you say to the man that approached you, walking away to the bar for another drink. Stupid fool didnt realise he unlocked another memory of them, you’d need something more in your system to get it out.

But when you closed your eyes you could see him, reaching out his hands to you, eyes disappearing with how much he was smiling. “Dance with me princess.”

Memories that made you feel warmth now bought you so much pain, since that day you both felt hollow and as if there was a heavy weight on your chest, you didn’t know how to explain it. It just hurt, and you thought it would get better with time but it didn’t. It got worse.

So you didn’t mind the hands on your body when you danced into the night, you didn’t mind the hangovers in the morning, the pain in your head dulling the ache in your heart just a little.

You feel arms wrap around you from behind as you take another swing of your drink. Whoever he was he felt muscular, tall, but you don’t care. It isn’t until he rests his chin on the top of your head you realise he feels like Jungkook and your heart beats back to life again. You close your eyes and let them hold you, pretending for a second that it was your Kookie, that he’d move to rest his head on your shoulder when you ignored him like he always did, squeezing you harder, pouting until he got your attention. You let yourself dream for a second, even though you knew when the illusion shattered the black hole in your chest would expand tenfold. Like it always did when you let yourself pretend.

You could feel tears start to form in the corner of your eyes, you couldn’t do this, the man behind you must’ve felt your discomfort because he suddenly backed away. You hear a ruckus behind you but you don’t give a shit, he’s not Kookie, he’s not any one of the men that can make this go away.

You’re about to take another sip of your drink until you feel the weight of a hand wrapped firmly around your wrist. You know that hand, your eyes are fixed on it, your breathing becomes shallow and rapid as your gaze follows the hand to the body it’s connected to.

“What the hell do you think you’re doing?” What’s he doing here, he’s the one that decided to leave you, why does he care what happens to you?

You don’t know if you’re refusing to speak or if you can’t with how much his presence has put you in a daze, you can see the way his jaw is clenched the way it always did when you tested his patience. Good, let him be angry, let him feel a little of what you were.

He pulls you to stand and follow him, grip unrelenting and pace unforgiving. You try to get out of his hold but Joon pissed was a different force of nature, you wonder what he was doing in a place like this.

It isn’t until you’re outside you see Yoongi standing with his back to the car, they’re both in uniform, they must’ve been on their new job when they found you. You pretend that doesn’t sting, you don’t care it’s their job how dare they replace you when you felt their absence each and every day.

“You’re not my bodyguard anymore Namjoon, let me go,” you’re quiet but you’re seething.

He slams you back against the car, the only feeling coursing through his system was rage and it mixed with every other emotion he was feeling at this moment; worry, guilt, his heart breaking.

“Where the hell are your bodyguards Y/n?” When he finds them he’s going to put a fist in their faces repeatedly for letting you get into this state.

“Don’t have any,” you’re smiling now but it’s unnerving, it’s fake and it’s nothing he has ever seen before on your face.

“What do you mean you don’t have any?” Yoongi sounds calm, but that’s how you know he’s as angry as Namjoon.

“Why the hell do you both care? You left me,” it shouldnt sting the way it does when the words are out of your mouth, but it somehow manages to hit all three of you.

“Princess, answer the question.” Why does your heart hurt more when Yoongi calls you that? Why does it feel like he’s taking your breath away and suffocating you with his calm demeanour, like he really doesn’t care even though his words should prove otherwise.

“I’m not your burden anymore, so leave me alone,” you glare at them both with all the strength you had left, feeling your body shake from the cold and the anger seeping under your skin. “I dismissed my bodyguards but that’s none of your concern.”

“You did what?” Namjoon is trying to control his rage but your words are causing it to grow. “How could you be so stupid? Do you have any idea the amount of danger you’re putting yourself in? Do you have any idea how hard it is to keep you safe and you’re throwing all our effort in our faces by being so fucking reckless!”

You always hated it when he told you off, you could feel the tears start to form again and Namjoon watched as your doe eyes looked up at him with the anger fading and the hurt revealing it’s way through. Shit, he was too harsh, but you were being an absolute idiot. All of them have been worried sick since they left you, unable to perform the best at their job, they all agreed after you no more long standing positions, so they only did small security gigs or transferring a client for a day. They missed you so much and here you were throwing yourself into every danger like a big ‘fuck you’.

“Why did you leave me?” Your voice is so small and the sheer hurt in it caused his anger to drop out of his body. Yoongi had to look away, he hated it when you cried, they all did.

They didn’t feel like they could hold you the way they used to, so much had changed, and yet all the feelings were the same.

“Princess we had to go,” he tries to explain. “We couldn’t keep you safe because of how much we lo- w-we cared about y-”

“No Joonie if you cared about me, you wouldn’t have left!” You were so angry and upset you were crying but you still yelled your words, you needed them to hear you and you’d make sure they did. “I thought I meant more to you than just a charge but you proved me wrong the day you walked out, because if you cared about me you’d fight to keep me safe, but you didn’t.”

You don’t care if you’re a sobbing mess in front of them now, you don’t care if you look weak, they had to feel what they did to you, see the consequences of their desicion.

Namjoon can’t say a word, how does he explains to you the guilt he felt that day, the only rational choice was to leave you in the hands of someone who could protect you the way he had failed. You came above all else, he couldn’t trust himself to keep you safe anymore.

“Do you know how hard it was for us to go,” it’s Yoongi that finds his voice. “We didn’t want to leave you Princess, we didn’t feel like we had a choice.”

“Bullshit!” You contended. “There’s always a choice and you made yours.”

You hug yourself to keep yourself together because in front of them both you can feel yourself begin to shatter.

“You left me when I needed you the most, and I won’t forgive you for it.”

If you tore into their chests and ripped out their hearts it would’ve hurt less. Yoongi sighs in defeat.

“Okay Y/n,” Namjoon could feel his eyes go red with the way he’s holding back his own tears, he and Yoongi were not ones to cry but he can’t miss the telltale glistening in the older man’s eyes, and how they mirrored his own with regret. “Let’s just get you home.”

“No I haven’t had enough to drink,” you move off the car and try to make your way back but there’s a strong hand holding you back by your arm.

“I think you’ve had plenty to drink,” Yoongi says while opening the backseat door.

How do you tell them you needed more so you’d black out tonight, otherwise your dreams would be filled with them.

——————————————————————————

The ride was quiet, no one wanted to say a word. The only break from silence was when Namjoon called Jin to ask him to meet you all at your place with a medical kit and you insisting it was not necessary.

They didn’t listen, but what was new?

It’s not Jin that meets the car running, but the youngest of your ex bodyguards with Jimin very close behind.

“Princess?” Jimin couldn’t believe your state, you looked like a mess. He helped you out of the car swallowing his own emotions.

Jungkook stared at you with his big eyes in shock, and you wanted the ground to swallow you up. You couldn’t meet his eyes, you could see a his own concoction of emotions swirl in them like a cocktail from the glimpse you got. Disbelief, anger, sadness, his Princess looked so broken.

When the decision was made to leave Jungkook was the one to fight it, he was the one that tried to convince the others it wasn’t a good idea, that you needed them and they needed you. He looked at Namjoon with so much anger but that could wait, he needed to make sure your were okay first.

He strides his way to you, picking you up like the Princess you were when you struggled to stand and carried you to the house.

“Kookie I can walk,” you mumble, but you felt so warm in his arms, you didn’t want him to let you go. You missed him so much, you missed them all.

“What the hell happened?” Jimin’s voice when he was angry was nothing like his usual tone, his voice became deeper and lost its musical ring.

Yoongi waved him off, starting to get a headache from the whole thing, “later.”

They take you to your bedroom where your life was turned upside down, Jin, Tae and Hobi were waiting for you there. They must’ve tidied up, you left the place in a tip.

Jungkook doesn’t place you on the bed, he sits on there instead not letting you out of his arms. The glare he sends the others is very clear, try to take her off me.

You’re starting to feel drained, the earlier screaming match completely wore you out, and you were feeling the effects of sleep deprivation. You don’t even realise how you’re leaning into Jungkook, but the position is familiar, like a key in a lock, and you can feel yourself drifting.

“Princess we need you to stay awake just a little longer okay?” Tae crouches down to meet your eyes, you can see the sadness in them even though he’s keeping a straight face. He can’t help but reach his palm out to feel your flushed cheeks, he wants to tell you he’s missed you, that they were all lost without you, but he knows it would hurt you more than they already had.

“Tae I’m tired,” you whine a little, the defences dropping now your body felt safe, your brain couldn’t catch up with the fact that you were still angry with them, you could almost pretend the last few months didn’t happen.

“Let her sleep, we’ve put her through enough,” Hobi sounded so serious from where he was watching you, back leaning against the wall, arms crossed like a teacher waiting for the class to settle. When Hobi was angry it scared you the most. Tae nodded at his hyungs words, offering you a small smile that didn’t reach his eyes before moving away.

“First take these Princess,” Jin holds two pills in his palm and a glass of water, he brings them both to your lips, gently coaxing you to swallow. He wipes away the little spill you made down the side of your mouth, letting his fingers linger there for a second. He hasn’t been this close to you for so long, he doesn’t want to move away, but he does.

You nuzzle closer to the body holding you, clutching onto his shirt as you finally succumb to sleep. You can feel a cheek pressed against the top of your head, a promise written in the way he holds you tighter against him, but you were too far gone to decipher the words in the warmth of his arms, so you let your dreams take you instead.

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zuluc · 3 years

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anonymous requested: i've been thinking about what to request for the past 3 days and i think i've finally got it. can i ask for kaeya or diluc with a crush that's a depressed bard that always composes sad songs and lyrics? here's the twist, though. their songs and lyrics start to cheer up as the two of them become closer friends!

pairing: diluc x gn! reader

style & genre: written; fluff

warnings: none

notes: i decided to do diluc for this one because I think it’d have a great impact on him as a person as well, and i’m here for more fluff with him 🥰 i made the lyrics myself for the sake of this fic please go easy on me all i know about music is playing the violin/viola also this is long

i changed the prompt a bit if that’s alright!

“Who are you exactly?” Diluc eyes you strangely when you look at him with a blank stare. In one hand you have a notebook and in the other is a lyre. You walked in only moments ago, actively avoiding anyone’s eyes as they knew you weren’t from town. You just wanted to go straight to the owner of the tavern and hope to share what you had in that book of yours.

“A bard,” you say. You look around to see a few of the townspeople staring back while the others cheer happily with each other as if an exciting thing had happened. “Do you have room for a performance?”

Diluc raises an eyebrow and crosses his arms. You didn’t appear to have any double meaning or ill intention in your words, rather, your eyes were just void of any glint of mischief he usually saw in a certain person. But to waltz in one day and ask for something like this so casually, you really weren’t from there.

“Sure, just don’t steal anything.” He is skeptical of you as he is of any one else but you didn’t need to know that. You were used to it after all. He directs you to the side of the bar that was supposedly the “performance stage” but it didn’t matter. Anywhere was fine with you.

The townspeople gradually stop their chatter as you quickly tune your lyre, playing a chord once the strings were ready. The tune that escapes into the air effectively silences any remaining voices. The song you were going to start wasn’t one they would usually hear in this city of freedom and apparently cheerfulness.

Your fingers hook at the strings, releasing them with ease as a soulful melody fills the entire tavern. The chord was of the lower register and hummed deeply. Diluc flicks his eyes over to you as he cleans a glass and sees your own eyes are closed.

When the night has passed

For then will I be free

Will they see me trample dust

Or let me keep my feet

Your book is open and he can see the words you were singing on the pages. It looks like you just started this line of work given how many pages were left in that book, assuming it was your only one as all you came in with were those two items and a small bag of mora.

He doesn’t notice how much of an effect your song had until he scans over the tavern patreons. Your voice carries through, swaying through the people to where it grazes a piece of their hearts to reminisce forlorn memories. But your words felt soulful as if they had come from your own experiences. A thought passes over his head which causes his heart to pang before quickly shaking it off when he realizes the feeling.

Ah, so you were this type of bard.

Diluc just thinks he’ll only see you one time so he lets the thought pass through.

Once your song ends the drunk townspeople cheer loudly among themselves. You are taken aback by all the noise but bow politely to them for their reaction. You take your things as they call out for you to do another song and you shake your head.

“Maybe another time,” you say with slight sorrow to your face or words. They accept the answer and continue on their night and when you turn to leave, Diluc can’t stop the words that come out of his mouth.

“Why not stay for a drink?” You look at him incredulously and he crosses his arms, “Call it payment for your services. They seemed to enjoy it.” You make cautious movement as you make your way to a stool. Diluc sets out an apple cider vinegar drink and you sniff at it. Once you take a sip you notice his face at the corner of your sight. The edge of his lip is slightly quirked up as he sighs while cleaning a glass.

It seems they weren’t the only ones who enjoyed the song.

Mondstadt was a city that was very welcoming in comparison to all the other places you spent time at. The people were either unwilling to hear your music or had particular reactions to the pieces you shared. To them, it seemed you didn’t understand that bar music was supposed to be lively and something to dance to. Not something to feel sad about.

But you wanted to share it anyways for your songs are one of the few things in life that you are proud of. One of the few things that have filled the emptiness of yourself that you lost those years ago and maybe, just maybe, sharing them will help you feel in some way. To you, these songs are sorrowful, but they shouldn’t just make people sad. That’s why you were quite surprised at the reactions at Angel’s Share as opposed to those from other places.

They should elicit emotions of nostalgia. Or maybe, you just hadn’t found the right experience to make them happier.

You come back a few nights later and Diluc is working the bar yet again. When he lifts his head, his shoulders sag in relief seeing that it is you. Venti had come by a few times after hearing about you and kept pressing the owner about letting him on the stage as well.

He was rejected numerous times in tandem with being asked to pay up for his drink tab.

The same book and lyre are still in hand when you head towards Diluc like you did that first night. He places the glass in his hands down and gives you a nod of his head, “Welcome back.”

“Thanks,” You look around and see that the tavern is even fuller than the last night you performed. It seems word had got around of your songs and they had all been waiting patiently for nights now. That was what an attendee had said to you outside the door anyways. “Do you mind?” You gesture to the stage.

“Go for it,” Any sense of caution that seeped through his words when you met him was near to nonexistent now. Maybe it was the impressions you left on the townspeople and their word of mouth the past few days. A depressing bard in the city of freedom in comparison to the other bards was news, especially when this bar had a wonderful voice to listen to.

The bar quiets again with the numerous greetings and cheers in seeing you up there. You flip open your book and thumb through the pages before settling on one song near the middle. It was a two-parter.

Your fingers pick at the strings lightly, slowly adding pressure thus causing the volume to increase subtly. Diluc shifts in his spot as he tries to focus on the tasks at hand but there really isn’t anything he is going to lose if he wants to listen.

I ran far in the depths of that same night

They chased me off as they truly had hoped

But I lost my way and wandered far

Met and saw numerous things was how I coped

The townspeople are yet again taken by your voice and melody that they had started to move with the music. Diluc decides to abandon his tasks for a little while, now aware how your music allows him to reflect as you intended.

He sees these events before him. The death of one close to him and the loss of someone beside him whom he thought he could trust wholeheartedly. You stop singing but continue with plucking at the strings that calms the atmosphere. It is solemn and relaxing, almost putting the drunkest of the bunch to sleep but through sheer willpower they stay awake to listen on.

Happy and cheerful those that I have seen

But they were not accepting of me

Sharing the harsh reality of these mysteries

How will one otherwise feel so free?

The song ends and a round of cheers erupts, louder than the first night as there were more people. Diluc snaps out of his thoughts and wordlessly fixes you another drink that you take again, albiet still a bit shyly.

“Your lyrics,” Diluc begins and you tense at the sound of his voice, “From experience I assume?” He is straightforward, you should know this from the gossip around town. There was nothing in it for you to hide anything from him or anyone else so you tell him.

“Yes. That’s what makes good music, does it not?” You take a sip of the beverage. It must be a different one as it is much sweeter than the apple cider vinegar. “When you can relate to the words yourself. I simply want to share that with the people for reasons even I am unsure of.”

Diluc hums and doesn’t look you in the eye for his next words.

“I see. Your voice is quite nice.”

You both managed to continue with light chatter that night and he learns that you are staying in Mondstadt for quite a bit. You had no set plans to be in a specific place at any specific time so what was the rush to leave? Among this he is aware of how you speak. There is an ambiguous sorrow in your words from the effect of your past, he believes, that share no optimism but realistic choices that would completely stop the conversation.

But he was the same so it continues.

His past is the reason for his own apprehension when speaking with strangers but you were a little different. You outright told him your objective and you were just a bard who wanted to share their experience.

You learn this of him and it was the first time that you felt light when speaking with someone.

“Y/n!” They learn of your name after the third night you show up which is another few nights after the second. Some take your music as a lighthearted joke in contrast to their free lives while others pay close attention to the words and sway with the tune.

You give a small grin in acknowledgement before sitting in the stool in front of Diluc. Throughout the weeks you had gotten to know each other a little better besides the titles of The Sorrowful Bard and Diluc of Mondstadt. You were just y/n and he was Diluc.

You always make a point to talk to him before performing, giving a small insight into the meaning behind your words. Last time replayed the sleepless night and doubts as you wandered Teyvat and the time before that was a retelling of an animal that accompanied you for the last months of its life.

“It knew it had to go yet it decided to follow me, spreading that sadness of loss to me as I was attached.” You said to him that night with dry eyes.

All you tell him is that this song is a little different from your other ones.

He shows more of himself to you, actions he wouldn’t typically show to others if it weren’t for a certain motive or purpose. But you were not threatening nor wanted something from him. Diluc put a bit of trust in you for that.

You never sing more than one song each night because you want them to take in the words of each song carefully. Like that animal, you wanted to share the sadness but allow them to see the great memories.

This night contains your fourteenth or fifteenth song and it is fairly new. You wrote this in the early hours of the morning with a newfound emotion bustling inside your chest. You were scared when waking up, but felt reassured when there was a hint of melancholy there among an unfamiliar emotion.

The tavern goers look at you with hopeful and excited eyes. You feel warmth in your heart as you remember the times a few of them have come up to you telling you that your music has made it easier to sleep. That your music is inspiring; sad, but inspiring.

You play a chord and Diluc raises a brow in hearing a lighter tone. Underlying is that first low tone in your first night, indicating that you plan to keep a sense of your usual.

Then I stumbled in, seeing the light there

Unexpected welcoming I was greeted by

At first there was nothing then passed a while

Uprising something foreign for me to finally cry

Even if your eyes are trained to the floor, they are in his general direction. You didn’t know what you were feeling and you sure didn’t want to push it.

He has his entire attention directed at you.

You pluck higher notes much different from the chords you were accustomed to, messing up in a few that no one seemed to notice. You straighten yourself and look over the entire bar, settling your eyes on him for a bit too long for him to notice.

And so thankful am I

To be able to do such as that

And never is it unwelcomed

The beats in my soul are no longer flat

Your eyes stay staring at him and the cheers drown out. Diluc’s hand raises a few centimeters from the counter but you have already picked up your book and instrument and left.

The drink is untouched as he follows after you, thanks to Charles.

You feel like you can’t breathe but there is physically nothing blocking your airway. You assumed it was due to the collection of body heat in the tavern but even the cool night air did nothing to soothe the burning in your face.

Why did I look at him? Why was he looking back? What does this mean?

“Y/n!” You gasp at the sound of his voice and as you turn around you hope that it was just in your head. Your mouth opens and closes but you can’t speak. you don’t know what to say.

Truthfully, he doesn’t either.

Diluc didn’t know what to expect when you told him it would be different. He definitely didn’t expect for the song to be about him. He had deducted this reasoning and confirmed it when your eyes met and to you leaving.

In that room he felt the same: his face was warm and his heartbeat picked up when you lingered your gaze on him. He didn’t know what this feeling was either.

Neither of you are speaking, the breeze brushing through.

“I’m sorry!” You say, bowing your head so he cannot see the tears of confusion, frustration, and something else running down your face.

“Why are you apologizing?” He is near you now and he can feel you jump at his touch on your shoulder. When you don’t push him off he moves his gloved hand to cup your face to lift it up. This is the first time he’s seen you cry.

Ironic, given your songs.

Diluc lightly presses his thumb to your cheek to brush off a tear. “Apologizing is for if you’ve done something wrong. You have done nothing of the sort.”

“Are you sure?” You say without hesitation. It is an automatic response, built upon the hardening of your heart and soul through your travels. Diluc chuckles, a small smile on his face.

“I am sure.”

You strum lightly, a newfound lightness to you that almost everyone has noticed. Your songs still have that sorrowful reality to them but at the end they have changed. Seeing more of the graceful and fulfilling beauty of life.

Diluc still fixes you drinks after every performance and indulges you in conversation. This time around, however, he leans in closer and places his hand closer to yours.

And you are thankful to feel that emotion.

#genshin impact #genshin impact x reader #genshin impact headcannons #genshin impact scenarios #genshin impact fluff #genshin impact angst #genshin impact imagines #genshin impact diluc x reader #genshin impact diluc #diluc ragnvindr x reader #diluc ragnvindr #diluc x reader #diluc

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camslightstories · 3 years

Text

It's always going to be you

Warnings: Angst, Fluff

Lena Luthor x reader

Taglist: @captain-josslett @multi-images

Request: Anonymous - “Reader x Lena. Angst with a happy ending. Lena & Reader have been dating on the down low for a while when James decides he wants Lena back, maybe reader walks in on James kissing Lena in her office and leaves assuming Lena is cheating”

Notes: This is my first request writing, so I hope you guys like it. Thank you so much for your support. You guys are great. Part 7 would probably be out on Monday since I have a shoot tomorrow. I hope you guys have a great day. I’m open to any suggestions, comments, feedbacks or request.

The smell of pancakes surrounded the kitchen. The sunlight was slowly coming in. As the cold of the penthouse hit you. The soft sound of the jazz coming from the speaker at the side of the stone. Barefoot on the floor, you did a small dance moving from the stone to the coffee maker, only to be caught by arms hugging from behind making you melt on the embrace.

“Good morning, Love” Lena commented as she kissed your head, tugging you closer, resting her hands in your stomach, under your shirt.

“Good Morning, honey” Turning around, you responded. Laying a small kiss on her lips, only to be pulled down for more, when you pulled away.

Both of you with only shirts and underwear on, after a long night, stood there embracing each other, until Lena’s A.I. spoke up “Ms. Y/L, if the pancakes are not turned over in 1 min exact, they would be burned”

Lena released a laugh that lit the apartment, making you pout as she did. Walking over to the stone you pulled away from her embrace, and she shocked her head walking to get coffee. After you moved the pancakes to a plate from the stone, she stole a kiss from you, erasing the pout and putting a smile on your face.

“You are incredible, you know that right?” She whispered in your lips as both of you pulled away.

You responded shaking your head as you gave her, the breakfast you had prepared. The blueberry and chocolate chip pancakes were placed carefully under a mix of berries accompanied by a small bowl of parfait on the side. “Bon appétit, nerd”

“Même amour” She claimed, giving you a small chaste kiss, before starting to eat.

The two of you spend the rest of the morning before going to work, giving small kisses, hugs, and affection as both of you did your things. You walked out of the door first, after receiving a call from Maggie, your boss, as she needed you on a scene. Lena leaves not long after, with the same happy expression on her face as you did.

The National City Police station was completely out of control, officers walking up and down asking questions and bringing multiple people for petty crimes. Maggie and the Captain taking cases while trying to figure out the incident of this morning. As they pressured you to get results of the scene as you worked as fast as you could.

Lena and you messaged through the day, every day when you started dating. Little check-ups on each other and small messages of affections were passed through the two of you. But today you hadn't had the chance to check your phone, and neither did it ring during the day. It worried you, taking you out of your head, Maggie dragged you out of your lab, as she spoke to you. Both of you shared a look before you were both rushing out on her police car. “There was an attack in LCorp”

Arriving at the LCorp building, to be met with the site of multiple police patrols surrounding the building. You guys entered to be met with multiple yellow bags on the floor and the lobby trashed.

Kara as Supergirl, Nia as Dreamer, Alex, and a tall black guy, all standing with your girlfriend talking. The two of you approached them, jogging and grabbing their attention.

You immediately looked at Lena, as you blurted out “Are you okay? Are you hurt? What happen-”

“I’m fine, it was just in the lobby” Your girlfriend interrupted you, as she hugged you, pulling away too soon for both of your likings. But Lena wasn't a person of much PDA if you guys weren't with your closest friends, so you two kept your relationship on the low.

One of the officers went to move a body only to be stopped by Maggie’s shouting “Don't touch that”

You closed your eyes as you felt the yell in your ear. Kara, Nia, and Alex were about to laugh, while the tall guy observed you confused. Maggie returned her attention to the group speaking.“Supergirl, Dreamer can you walk me through what happens as Y/N does her thing”

“Yeah, sure” You nodded, before smiling at all of them with a small wave as you put the gloves on, Lena and you connecting glances, making you blush before walking away. While Kara and Nia responded.

Doing your work, as you collected evidence and examined the crime scene. Kara and Nia had left after briefing Maggie with what had happened. It had been a fight between two robbing gangs, only to be stopped by the police. After they had killed 5 people, three gangsters, and two securities, and left 12 others in the hospital.

Finishing your work, you glanced to where Lena was now standing alone with the same tall guy. He hasn’t left her side since you guys arrived. Maggie now stood beside you as you briefed her with the evidence of the scene, only to glance at Lena again when she walked into the elevator with Jess and the man. You said moving your head in her direction asking your brunette friend.“Who's that?”

“That's James Olsen and he is… I think that Lena should tell you that” Maggie responded as she patted your back, slightly pushing you towards the elevator. You furrowed your eyebrows and looked at the Latina confused as she simply shrugged before walking away with your box of evidence.

“Ohh, Okay” You murmured as you walked to the elevator. Grabbing your phone checking the time to be met with ‘5:30 pm’ on the top of it. You shocked your head as an idea came into your head.

Maybe you could make dinner at your apartment, and pack a few things to make a picnic with your girlfriend. Some Canelones of spinach and cheese, with a bottle of Lena’s favorite wine. Maybe a strawberry cheesecake for dessert.

After 5 months of dating your heart would burst every time you saw your girlfriend, Lena had won your trust, your love, your mind, everything. You would give her anything she wanted, she became your everything. You just wanted to burst it out but you were scared to saying ‘I love you’

The elevator stopped and you walked inside, going straight to Lena’s office. Jess was talking to one man, a scientist you could guess because of his white lab coat. You walked to the door only to be met with the sight of Lena almost sitting on the desk as the tall guy, James was in front of her. Both of them kissing.

Your heartbeat stopped. Your breath got caught in your throat. Your eyes became watery falls. Your legs and hands became paralyzed only to regain consciousness as you lowered your glance before walking away. In automatic mode you walked to the elevator, letting all of the feelings sink.

Your clouded mind made you lose focus, and work during the next few days. Days of crying and anger. Days you tried to work but failed, with work hours of more than 12 hours. Ignoring Lena at every cause. Even though you were ignoring her, the green-eyed woman wouldn't leave your thoughts.

Now standing in your apartment with bags and boxes of evidence and reports you had to fill out. With coffee in your hand and pizza in the other. Bags under your eyes and uncontrollable hair. You typed in your computer, as the results of the bullets came back. Only to be distraught by the sound on the door knocking remembering the coffee order takeout you had ordered a few minutes ago as your support.

Walking to the door you sighed waiting for the delivery person to give you, your precious order only to be met with the sight of your girlfriend, with your order in her hand and a confused and worried yet loving glance.

You sighed before speaking, with a cold tone, meeting her eyes as you walked inside grabbing the coffee you didn't finish. Lena looked into them, and all she saw confusion, sadness, anger, tiredness, and more. “Don't look at me like that”

Lena went to speak, only to be interrupted by you. “Darling, how-”

“Just cut the crap if you are going to break up with me” You exclaimed, while angry tears left your eyes. Lena looked at you shocked as she entered the apartment glancing around to see the mess it was.

“I never stood a chance did I?” You commented as you seated on the barstool, massaging your temples, not giving her a chance to speak.

You cracked out, with an ironic laugh. Making Lena walk up to you, with wide eyes and fidgeting hands. “I mean in what world would a CSI top a national photographer, who was an editor in chief in CatCo and was part-time a vigilante?”

Before anything else could happen, Lena cupped your face and kissed you fiercely. You melted into her and kissed back. You stood up and Lena grabbed your waist pulling you into her, your arms went instinctively to her neck as both of you lost each other's embrace.

Pulling away for necessary air, you leaned each other's forehead and connected your noses, sharing an Eskimo kiss as she whispered in your lips. “Why would I want anything else, if I have the love of my life right in front of me”

Before speaking again, she took a chaste kiss from you. “I don't want anyone else, Love”

“But I saw you kiss the tall dark guy, James!” You said standing up, walking away from her. Pain slashed through Lena’s eyes as you did as the memory of the last week came through her mind.

Flashback - 4 days ago

Lena was standing in the lobby of her company, glancing eventually where you stood working as the CSI of the National City Police. Paying little to no attention to what her ex was talking about.

The green-eyed woman's heart would beat faster every time, you would smile up to her or even look her way. She was love-struck by you and the last 5 months of dating you had made her a lovesick puppy, but she was more than okay about it since it was because of you.

The black-haired woman had been on an interview with Kara, Nia and as a consultant James over the next project, LCorp was going to launch in the next month. When the fight had happened, Kara and Nia rapidly had made action when they changed into their superheroes attire, but James had stood by her as a bodyguard, it made her somehow uncomfortable as he tried to protect her even though she wasn't the one who needed its protection.

Bringing her out of her thoughts, her ex-boyfriend claimed. “Lena, Lena, are you listening to me?”

“Yeah, James. I am” Your girlfriend responded as she gave him a glance of annoyance which the tall man did not capture.

The photographer nodded and waited a few seconds before speaking up again, as he scratched his neck. “Can we talk in your office, Lena?. Is kind of important”

She looked at him, and over his shoulder saw you, distracted with Maggie working before she responded with a polite smile. “Sure, James”

“Jess, can you check on Mr. Hernandez report” Lena directed to her assistant, as the three of them walked to the elevator.

Standing now inside of the simple and beautiful white office, Lena listened as her ex-boyfriend spoke. “Well Lena, and if you want me to stay. I will, I will do everything to get you back”

But the truth was that the scientist's mind wasn't on the conversation, she was thinking about you. How to tell you she loves you. How to give you all the world. With now the idea of the perfect date, the green-eyed woman came to her senses as she saw the closeness between her and the vigilante.

Lena was about to speak only to be caught by her ex’s lips. She became paralyzed and pulled away after the shock felt of her.

Pulling away from James, before slapping him. As she exclaimed ”You do not have the right to do that, Mr. Olsen. Especially when I'm in a happy and healthy relationship with the love of my life. Now leave James, before I make security take you out and I filed a restraining order”

The tall guy looked at her in shock, before apologizing with tears in his eyes. Walking away immediately.

Lena grabbed the tissue on her table before cleaning her lips. Without taking you out of her mind. How would she explain this to you? Was she going to lose you?.

Flashback ends

“So you didn't kiss him?” You said, your voice coming out as a scare and quiet whisper as both of you sitting on the couch. Tears coming down.

Lena with tears in her eyes, and fidgeting hands. She responded by cupping your face as she cleaned your wet cheeks. “No, Love. I don't want to kiss anyone else but you”

Her heartbreaking at the side of you begins vulnerable. Almost immediately you made her stumble on the couch as you cuddled into her. Clinging into her not wanting to let go. Scared she might go away if you do.

“Don't ever leave me” Coming out as a murmur from you, after you calmed down. Now blankets on top of both of you.

Lena as a response only brought you closer to her before kissing you softly. “It's always going to be you, darling”

Both of you stayed in your embrace, as the time passed. Having small affections during the way. Kisses and sweet words were exchanged. Catching up with the last few days you both stayed.

“I love you” Lena whispered in your lips after a long kiss. Both of you entangled in the other, having an intimacy that not only happens in bed but when you two are together.

You stumbled and looked at her astonished by her confession. Your heart busting out of your chest as you were left without any words. Lena looked at you scared, now with a frightened glance of your reaction as she tried to pull away from you.

You noticed her change, and immediately kissed putting all your love in there. Melting in her embrace as she pulled you closer. After the breathtaking kiss, leaving you both without breath, panting looking at each other, you spoke softly as you left small kisses around her face. “I love you too”

Lena's reaction was to pull you into a caring kiss, just to be broken by both of your smiles as you both looked into each other's eyes. With eyes and hearts full of love the two of you claimed at the same time “I love you”

#lena luthor x reader #lena luthor #supergirl imagine

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pompompurin1028 · 3 years

Text

Scarlet Sky

Summary: Dazai’s thoughts as he slow dances with you to Scarlet Sky in Bar Lupin, from Dazai’s POV

A/N: This idea was inspired by @requiem626k so credit goes to her! Pairing: Dazai x reader Genre: Comfort/Fluff Songfic Warnings: None

My Masterlist

Fly away, I’m ready for that scarlet sky Without no sky, no doubt no tears, for enough right? I’ve got it now And all those hearts I gave in that sweet sunlight That’s how I’ve made it through Can you see me up above, blazing scarlet sky

Amidst the darkening skies that paint the clouds into hues of scarlet, you and I sway softly to the familiar music of Bar Lupin.

The familiar tune that continues to remind me of how far I have come from since then. And those words that he gave me that I continue to hold onto close in the deepest corner of my heart, a place that you too have snuck into little by little since the day we have met.

As we move quietly in each others arms, with you head resting against my chest, I couldn’t help but wonder if you could hear the sounds of my heart that call out for you, singing words of love towards you every second you draw near...

Let me go, no more regrets ‘Cause my life seek within the breeze Survive because my love that made me who I am Now I’ll be the light for you Even in the dark, reach out for scarlet sky

But can you blame me? Especially when you are the one who gave me a glimpse of sunlight in my seemingly never-ending darkness, giving me a desire to continue to struggle against the world to go on living. Awaiting the view of the scarlet sky that the days to come will bring, that gifts me with the promise of a new beginning, a new adventure, a new day with you by my side.

As you slowly shuffled closer into my arms, my mind is drawn back from the depths of my thoughts, and a smile graced my lips at the sight of this. And in rare moment of peace we both shared in each other’s embrace, I for once did not felt the need to hurry, nor the familiar buzz of thoughts that are usual visitors in my head. Only the fullness of my heart that spilled with utter adoration for you.

Don’t be sad and don’t you chase me Just let me go alone Don’t forget that my heaven stands upon my beautiful days Now I see why I was born near the gold sand of the sunset Don’t forget that my heaven stands upon my beautiful days

Oh how I wish for more of such moments in my life, where simplicity is the norm which would allow me to relish every precious moment I have with you... Ones that would allow me to be able to sense even the smallest movements and sighs we share like in midst of this dance, and treasure them all to memory.

I wonder if I was born to enjoy such beautiful and serene moments with you? In the darkness and emptiness of my life, it yearns for such moments with you, that almost seem like moments of heaven on earth, an oasis in the midst of a desert... That enable me to continue to move forward, in search and yearning for more of these moments, these kind of days.

Won’t forget that my heaven touch upon my love

I hope you know, my little moments of heaven always come from the time that I share with you, my beloved... And I can’t thank you enough giving me the pleasure of experiencing it.

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tomboyneedshercoffee · 4 years

Text

Lovedust Epilogue || Peter Parker x Stark Reader

Epilogue: The end to a new beginning

Word Count: 1.3k

Author’s Note: PLEASE READ!!! And just like that, that concludes this series. I want to thank you all for supporting me and my writing, I couldn’t ask for sweeter followers to have along the way and because of you guys, this story has grown into something that has stuck with me through my everyday life. Every comment, every like, every reblog means the world to me and it is thanks to YOU that I felt comfortable enough to continue to share this story. I love these characters so much and I’m sad to see them leave but I can rest happy knowing that things ended the way they should and with that, I have my peace with them. Also peep the last few lines that are the same as the first few lines of the series ouch. Sorry to get so gushy but wow, after over 30k words, 8 parts, and many tears/laughter, lovedust is officially over.

Warnings: Fluff because you all deserve it

part one || part two || part three || part four || part five || part six || part seven || part eight || epilogue

[five months later]

‘Some things never change’ you thought to yourself as Peter’s music slipped its way through your bedroom walls. You had asked for a lazy Sunday morning and the promise of being woken up to sweet but inevitably burnt pancakes.

The music wasn’t dreadful; you didn’t recognize the melody but it was eerily similar to something you would hear Steve play in his room from time to time whenever he wanted to feel nostalgic. Go figure, you and Peter had always teased Steve to ‘drop the oldies but goodies’ playlist so you couldn’t complain now that Peter got his hands on it.

You slipped on your robe over the pajamas you had no intention of taking off for the remainder of the day before exiting your room. Once you had made it to Peter’s room, you didn’t bother to knock and instead, opened the door to find your boyfriend scrolling through his phone to change the song.

“ I was promised breakfast in bed so unless you’re looking up how to make the pancake batter, you better make your way into the kitchen Parker,” You teased lightly, causing Peter to throw his phone to the side of his bed.

“ I didn’t think you’d be awake so early,” Peter stretched his hands out to you and just like second nature, you stepped into his arms and leaned against his chest,” you never wake up before twelve on the weekend.”

“ Well I was working on my paper but someone had to play their music so loud,” You looked up at Peter who only gave back a sleepily, sympathetic smile.

Peter hummed a soft apology as he moved his hands down to your waist to pull your frame closer to his. He could smell your shampoo- no- he was sure you had used his shampoo yet again but decided to spare you from another lecture of stealing because of how relaxed you felt in his embrace.

With the music playing in the background, he started to sleepily sway side to side which only made you laugh again.

“ Are we dancing right now? What about my pancakes?”

“ In a second, I just want to hold you for a little bit longer.”

“ These better be some pretty bomb ass pancakes then.”

“ Just be quiet and let me dance with you.”

You huffed but didn’t resist, instead, you melted into his embrace even more and closed your eyes.

With your summer drawing to an end, you could only hope to savor these precious moments with Peter, especially since you had no idea what the following fall would have in store for the two of you.

You knew he would always be around but things wouldn’t be the exact same. You two had taken advantage of living only a few feet away from each other but it seemed like life was moving too fast for your liking now that you had college right around the corner.

The past couple of months had been nothing short of a blessing. It was a lot to handle at first as the two of you sorted through whatever insecurities or mistakes that occurred before the relationship but slowly, you two managed and tied up any loose ends that were still poking out.

You weren’t afraid to say it outloud, of course you loved him. But there was something even stronger that helped you two through it all and that was forgiveness. There was no point in holding anything over each other’s head because the end goal was as clear as day and you were relieved knowing that the past was the past.

Although you would catch yourself thinking back to the terrible memories you had of tormenting each other, it almost felt like you were looking back at ancient tapes filmed through a different lens. You both grew from it so now, when you looked back, all you could see was growth and effort.

Your heart sunk for a moment as you swayed in his arms. You held him tighter at the thought of change and how different things would be in the future. Who’s to say that you two would even be together forever, of course, you wanted to be with him forever but this life wasn’t guaranteed.

You could hear his voice right now, telling you to stop thinking of your morbid hypotheticals and so you did. You wanted to enjoy this moment right here and now, you just wanted it to last a bit longer.

You hardly flinched as you felt Peter’s bare foot step onto your toes, only smiling at the apology that slipped out of his mouth. He could tell he had snapped you out of your daze and Peter, being the ever so curious one, asked you what you were thinking about.

“ We’ve come a long way huh?” You said as you felt Peter nod above you,” I’m going to miss you.”

“ Hey, hey, don’t be sad. You know I’m always going to be around baby,” Peter pulled away to study your sad expression, his thumb coming up to wipe underneath your eye to make sure you weren’t crying.

“ I know I know. It’s just...this is the end of a chapter and I don’t know if I’m ready to say goodbye to it just yet. What happens after all of this?” You asked as Peter pressed a soft kiss on your temple to ease your mind.

“ Like you said babe, breakfast in bed,” He teased, knowing that it would make you laugh.

He felt his heart skip a beat when his attempt had done the trick, even if the laugh was short, it was still a tally in his book.

“ Things will change and that’s okay,” Peter said after a moment as you stayed quiet,” we’ve changed a lot and look where we are now. Did you ever think months ago that you and I would ever be this close without killing one another?”

“ Definitely not.”

“ Exactly, but you know what won’t change?” You looked up at your boyfriend as he smiled back at you,” I’ll always love you, no matter what.”

Your heart swelled at the profession. It was almost like a talent of his to find the right words to say to make your anxieties seemingly evaporate off of you.

Even though it came out as a whisper, you meant it with your whole chest, those three words you couldn’t find yourself ever getting tired of saying. It slipped so easily out of your mouth, almost as if someone was asking you something as simple as your name.

“ I love you too-”

Peter barely professed all of it before you pressed your lips against his, his shoulders instantly relaxing at your action. He has kissed you over a hundred times within the last couple of months but each time, he still felt over the moon when given the chance to be intimate with you.

It was always when you pulled away that suddenly, he was grounded but in a way that still made his heart feel feverish with pure adoration.

You always smiled after pulling away from his lips because just like the first time you two ever shared a kiss, he always wore the same loving but goofy grin on his face as if he was a schoolgirl. And you loved it.

Peter couldn’t help himself to kiss you again and for the next few minutes, you found yourself either swaying with your boyfriend to the soft sound of the instrumental love ballad or stopping for a moment to press your lips against his.

The moment was fleeting after your dad had barged in a minute later, grumbling about how the door needed to be opened at least five feet but even so, you knew the feeling would stay in your memory for life.

So as you came out to the kitchen to watch your ‘super-family’ attempt to make an edible breakfast, you couldn’t help but smile to yourself.

You weren’t sure how much room was left in your heart but you knew a person who you would always have space for. Peter Parker.

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dinsrose · 3 years

Text

My Center of Happiness

Din Djarin X Female Reader One Shot

Rating: Explicit

Warnings: Smut, Fluff, Praise Kink, Soft Din, Swearing

Summary: Reader and Din stargaze together, and it basically just turns into pure porn. If soft smut, fluff, and praise kink are your thing, you have come to the right place.

You can read the one shot here as well on AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30192981

Here’s a song that reminds me of the fic

Here’s a song to listen to as you read the one-shot. It reminds me of Din and Rose in this particular scene.

The stars are perfect tonight. They twinkle and dance throughout the sky while shining brighter than you have ever seen them. There must be a meteor shower tonight as well, because you occasionally catch a glimpse of a falling star soaring through the atmosphere. These are your favorite nights. The nights where the galaxy is so quiet and kind. The clear skies make for the most beautiful scenery. One of your favorite things to do, is find the constellations in the sky.

Many people do not care for the stars, but you always have. When you were little, you used to look up at the sky and make countless wishes for a better life. The sky held so many opportunities in your mind. Your mother always told you that when you wished upon a falling star, the wish would always come true. You just could not tell anyone about the wish. Ever since she told you that, you spent almost every night wishing and talking to the sky. Wishing for a better life, a life where you and your family could be free. A life where you could fly away with your mother and father, living on the most beautiful planet in the galaxy. You always wondered what was out there.

Tatooine had been your home planet for your whole life, but you knew there were greater places out there. It used to drive you crazy, knowing that you would never get to leave that damn planet. You come from a family of slaves. It was a given that you would always be a slave, and never get out of the lifestyle. Especially considering you were the only one left of your family. You had convinced yourself that your life would always be the same. That you would never leave that sandy planet and be doomed to work every waking minute until you died off from exhaustion. Until one day, a bounty hunter came barreling into your owner's cantina to take him in. You never would have imagined this bounty hunter would turn your whole world upside down. This bounty hunter, Din, has given you everything you could ever want and need in this life.

When he offered to let you be a crewmate on his ship, and help take care of his adorable little green sidekick, you didn't even hesitate before shaking his hand in agreement. The past few months with them have been nothing short of amazing. The kid has grown to be as one of your own. You love him more than anything, and you couldn't imagine life without him. His father has become a huge part of your life as well. You are now part of a small, happy family; a clan of three.

The memories of the past few months cause you to smile as you lay back in the grass. Din had parked the Crest here on Naboo in a secluded area for the next few days. A few days to take a short break from everything for just a moment. After catching a glimpse of the sky, you had decided tonight would be the perfect night to stargaze. Din was asleep in the ship, along with the baby. The hatch had been left open anyways, because you wanted to get some fresh air. You had tiptoed down the hatch to a small spot in the grass about 20 feet from the ship. A spot that was perfect enough to lay down in and have a good view of the sky.

The cool breeze whipped all around you, causing the long blades of grass to slowly dance in the wind. The air was filled with the sweet scent of flowers. Everything here was just perfect. This was most definitely your favorite planet of them all. It had a special beauty about it, something just different from the others. The greenery here was unlike any other you had ever seen. The place was almost too perfect to be true. If Heaven was a place, you imagined this is what it would be like; on Naboo... in the flower fields... baby on your hip, and Din right beside you.

"What are you doing out here? And... why are you laying on the ground?" You hear his modulated voice ring out from behind you. Glancing up as far as you can, you see his figure come into view standing right above you. The moonlight reflects off his beskar as he towers above you. He just stands there in silence. There is just something about his silence that makes him so... sexy.

"Stargazing," you reply with a smile on your face. "I thought you were sleeping?"

"I was... and then I saw you were missing and got worried." He replies.

A grunt comes out from under his helmet as he starts to lower himself down towards you. He pushes his knees back and puts his palms on either side of your head, his helmet barely two inches away from your nose. He hovers there, the two of you facing opposite directions, and butterflies begin filling your stomach. You reach up slowly and place your hands on either side of his helmet. The beskar is cool to the touch as you pull his head down gently. You plant a gentle kiss right on the top of his helmet where his forehead would be. A smile spreads across your face as you pull back to look into the black visor.

"Join me, shiny." You say softly.

"How could I say no to that?" He says with a light chuckle.

He slowly rolls over to the side and onto his back. With your bodies facing opposite directions, he lines his head up right to the side of yours. If he did not have the helmet on, his ear would be the only part of him touching you; or maybe some soft, curly hair. You have never seen it, of course, but you have felt it a few times. He has removed it before while you were blindfolded, to gain access to your lips with his. And oh Maker, his lips were the softest lips you had ever kissed. His hair the fluffiest hair you had ever ran your fingers through. Thinking about it sent shivers through your core.

"What are we looking at here?" He asks. His voice sends vibrations through the helmet, and it tickles your ear.

"Well, for one, I am looking for constellations. I am also talking to my good friend Ada up there." You reply with a giggle. Ada was a name you and your mother had given to a star when you were younger. It was a silly joke to you now, but it still held very sentimental value to you.

"Ada?" He questions.

"Yes. My good friend Ada. My mother used to tell me that the stars were our very good friends, and that they would grant us wishes. So, naturally, as a child, I truly believed the stars could hear me." You giggled before continuing. "One night, I decided to name one of them, because if that star was going to grant me a wish, it had to be a special friend of mine. I shared my thoughts with my mother, and we both decided Ada was a good name." A small smile comes across your face as your voice begins to fade. "It's silly now, but something about it still holds sentimental value to me... so I talk to Ada to this day. Especially when I miss my mother." A frown replaces your smile as a wave of sadness washes over your body.

He goes quiet for a moment. All you can hear is the two of you breathing, and the wind whipping through the night air.

"So... the stars are special beings to us?" He finally asks.

"Yeah...something like that. My mother told me that they were their own individual being, just like us. That a specific star picked us to grant our wishes. That one star spent its whole existence, to make us happy. Basically, that star is a very special presence in our lives, and it is the sole center of our happiness. Everything good we receive in this life comes from that star. So, I think that makes them pretty special." You reply as you turn your head to the side to glance at him.

He lays there for another few minutes in silence. The moon reflects off his visor as he looks up into the sky. Looking over at him sends a warm feeling through you. Does he know that he is the center of your whole existence?

His finger suddenly points up to the sky. "You see that big star right there?" He says softly.

Following his finger, you can tell which one he is talking about almost immediately. It is much bigger than all the others. It has a pink tint to it as well. Somehow, it is much more beautiful than any other star up there. It dances in unison with the others as you watch it, waiting for him to continue.

"It shines brighter than the rest. It's prettier too... looks like a pink tint to it." He continues. "That's Rose... I am naming it Rose." His helmet turns to the side as he looks at your face. "If I have to name it something because it is the source of my happiness... it is going to be named appropriately."

Warmth floods throughout your entire body. "Rose" That is the nickname he had given to you about two weeks after the two of you had met. He had found out it was your middle name, and decided he really liked the sound of it, so that is the name he has called you ever since. Tears well up in your eyes at his sentiment. He just named a star after you, for the sole purpose of getting his point across that you are the source of his happiness. Nothing makes you happier than knowing that you make him as happy as he makes you. That has become your sole purpose in life, to make him happy.

"Din... " You whisper. Not really knowing what to say, you give him a small smile in hopes he understands the depth of your feelings for him.

His body shifts as he pulls himself around and lays down directly beside you. He props his elbow up on his neck so that he can face you on his side. He looks so perfect in the moonlight, even if you cannot see an inch of his skin.

"My sweet, Rose." He breathes out as he reaches up. His thumb starts grazing the side of your cheek as you close your eyes. His thumb trails every feature of your face as he lets it explore. Din has been really big on touch ever since the first time you let him touch you. After years of being deprived from the feeling himself, he can't get enough of it. You feel the leather graze gently across your eyelashes and down your nose before landing on your lips. He gently pushes his thumb inward as he trails it across your bottom lip.

"Keep your eyes closed." You hear him say.

A puzzled expression crosses your face, but you do as he says. His hand leaves the side of your face, leaving it feeling bare. He shuffles around a moment before you feel his soft hand reach back up, uncovered. He took his gloves off. His hand snakes around to the side of your head and holds it firmly at the base of your neck. Before you can ask what he is doing, a soft pair of lips lightly connect with yours. Maker, he had taken off his helmet.

The thought of it startles you slightly as you jolt back a little, careful not to open your eyes. He had never taken it off before without having you blindfolded in some way. Did he really trust you this much? Deciding that you do not care, you lean forward, wanting to taste him once again.

Electricity sparks throughout your entire body as your lips collide with his. A light moan escapes your lips as you taste the sweet flavor of his lips. His tongue sweeps across your bottom lip, and you open your mouth to grant him entry. His hands reach up and firmly grab both of your cheeks to steady your mouth right where he wants it. He can do anything he wants. You are in the palm of his hands and he doesn't even know it.

His body suddenly shifts, and he rolls on top of you. He straddles your hips with his legs, and places his elbows down on either side of your head. His lips never leave yours as he smoothly makes the transition. Your fingers reach up and tangle themselves in soft, wavy hair. The kiss suddenly becomes desperate, the both of you taking as much as you can from one another.

You let out a soft moan and pull back. "Din..." You whine.

"Tell me what you want." He replies.

His body freezes while waiting for your response. He hovers over you, keeping his eyes trained on you. Not that you can see it, you can just feel when his eyes are on you. It sends a shiver through your body. His weight shifts on top of you as he slowly drags one hand down your stomach. Warmth begins to flood your center as his hand reaches your thigh. He grips it firmly before asking again.

"Use your words, Rose. Tell me what you want." He repeats.

His demeanor makes you shudder, it drives you up a wall when he gets like this. Letting out a shaky breath, you try to speak.

"Yo- you," is all you manage to squeak out.

That is all it takes for him to act. His fingers start to slowly make their way up to your center, which is already soaking wet. His fingers come up to the top of your pants, and start to tug them down. He takes his other hand and wraps it around the base of your back, lifting you up to help ease off your pants. With one swift movement, he yanks them down to your ankles, taking your underwear with them.

His fingers instantly start making there way back up the inside of your leg. A gasp escapes your lips as the anticipation begins building in your stomach. Instead of landing his fingers right where you want them, he skips over your center and makes his way to the base of your shirt. You try not to whine out in disappointment.

He lifts your shirt up and over your head in one swift movement. His other hand is still holding your body off the ground. Your body is gently lowered back to the ground as he sits himself up. The only thing you can hear is the sound of the wind whistling through the air.

"You're so beautiful, Rose." You hear him breathe out. His breath hitches in his throat as he brings his hands down to rest on your chest. His finger starts to trace the outline of your breast until he reaches the peak of your nipple.

"My beautiful girl," he continues.

He leans down slowly, and presses his lips to the top of your breast. He begins kissing all over every inch of your chest as gently as he can. His lips leave an electrifying feeling on your skin everywhere they touch.

After a few seconds, he starts to trail his kisses upwards until he reaches the top of your neck. He starts sucking and biting the side of your neck as his hand slowly makes its way back down your stomach.

Your thighs are already soaked from what little he has already done. You can feel the wetness dripping down the back of your upper legs.

His fingers finally make light contact with your center, and it almost causes you to scream. Your back arches into his touch as he pushes down onto your clit. He begins to rub slow, small circles around with his thumb as he continues to suck on your neck. There will be bruises there. He loves to leave his mark on you.

"You know you always look so good when I mark you up." He growls into your ear.

Your moans begin to ring throughout the air as he speeds up the circular motion on your clit. The sensation is almost overwhelming. His lips come up to your ear as he lets out a grunt.

"Do you like it when I touch you like this, cyar'ika?" He growls.

A whimper escapes your lips in response. His thumb stops almost instantly when you don't answer his question. It almost makes you cry out.

"Din... please," you beg.

He slides his fingers through your folds and slowly pushes into your entrance. It almost makes your eyes pop open, so you squeeze them even tighter so as not to accidentally open them. His thick fingers fill you up and stretch you open. He curves them up slightly, an pushes them against that sweet spot deep in your center. As soon as he finds the right spot, he begins to glide his fingers slowly in and out, making sure to hit that spot each time he glides across.

A loud moan escapes your lips as you arch your back. The sensation is overwhelming. Instead of seeing the actual stars, you are now seeing stars from the back of your eyelids as the pressure begins building in your lower stomach. The sensations cause you to start writhing beneath him. His hand comes down hard on your stomach and pushes you into the ground; forcing you to stop moving.

"Relax, sweet thing, just relax." He says as he pushes you into the ground.

"Din, please... I need you closer." You whine out.

His fingers suddenly pull out of you, leaving you feeling empty. The pressure in your stomach is almost unbearable at this point. He begins to shuffle around, and you are about to ask what he is doing until you feel his hard cock rub up against your inner thigh.

Maker, he's hard as a rock. He wastes no time lining up and pushing into you. He's so fucking thick. A loud gasp escapes your lips, and your body shoots forward. As if he knows what it would do to you, his other hand clamps over your eyes as they begin to open.

"Fucking perfect," He growls out. He starts to move at a slow pace, stretching you out as he does. "Maker... you're so- so ti- tight." He grunts.

His chest comes down to meet with yours as he continues to fuck you at a slow pace. Hand still clamped over your eyes, he brings his lips down to yours and kisses you hard. You moan into his mouth as you open it to let his tongue gain entry. He pulls back and tugs on your bottom lip with his teeth as he lets go. His hand slides away from your eyes.

"Keep being good for me," He breathes out as he begins stroking your hair. His cock is ripping you open, but doing it so gently it almost makes you want to cry. His lips begin to leave small kisses all over every inch of your face.

"You feel incredible." He breathes out after he leaves a kiss on on the top of your eyelid.

He suddenly puts his hand under the arch of your back, and lifts you up into a sitting position. His cock is still inside of you when he settles you down onto his lap. The both of you are facing each other in a sitting position. You moan as you wrap your arms around his neck to gain some balance.

"Now be good, and start moving." He instructs.

You slowly start to move your hips and bounce on top of him. His cock hits you so much deeper at this angle, you have to squeeze your eyes really tight to keep from accidentally opening them. His hands are everywhere. Stroking your sides, cupping your breasts, scratching down your back... just everywhere.

"There you go sweet thing, just like that." He growls into your ear.

Your hips begin to stutter as you feel the pressure in your lower abdomen building. Desperate for the taste of him, you pull back and put your lips onto his. He moans into your mouth as he pulls you in close and locks his arms around your back. He pulls back from your mouth and moves his head down to your chest. His lips lock around around one of your nipples and he starts sucking. You throw your head back, letting out a loud moan. The pressure is building... building... building...

"Cum for me," He grunts into your ear.

That is all it takes. Stars begin to streak the back of your eyelids as you reach your peak. You let out a loud moan as you continue to bounce on his cock and ride out your high. Your fingers and toes begin to tingle, and you clamp down around his cock as you start to shudder.

Your pace starts to fade until you finally stop. You lean your head over onto his shoulder and sit on his lap for a moment, trying to regain your breath. His cock still inside you, he grabs your back and swings you back, pushing you into the dirt.

Without any warning he slams himself as deep into you as he can go. A strangled whimper escapes your lips as your nails dig into his back. He starts railing into you as hard as he possibly can. It feels like he is ripping you open, but in a good way.

"Feel so fucking good." He growls as he hammers into you. He continues giving you sweet praises as he chases his own high.

"My perfect girl... so fucking perfect." He starts to gasp and stutter as he praises you.

His hips begin to falter, as he gets close to his own orgasm. He leans over and bites down hard onto your shoulder as he begins to let out a soft moan. You can feel him emptying himself into you as he pants and gasps for air, filling you up to the brim.

He brings his lips to yours, and gives you a long kiss as you grab his cheeks with your hands to hold him steady. When he finally breaks away, the both of you just sit there for a moment, panting and gasping for air. His cock is starting to soften inside of you, but he is so thick, it doesn't fall out.

"Are you okay?" He says softly as he strokes your hair back from your eyes.

"I'm more than okay." You breathe out as a smile breaks out on your face. Your hands make their way to his face and begin to caress his cheeks. The both of you sit there for a moment, just feeling each other. He begins to say something, then stutters.

"Hmm? What did you say?" You ask as you stroke his hair.

"Ni... kar'tayl gar... darasuum." He finally says. Having no clue what he is saying, you let out a giggle.

"Din... what does that mean?"

"You'll know one day, my Rose." He replies. His body starts to roll off of you, and you can feel his cock slide out of you. It leaves an empty feeling in the pit of your core. A soft material covers your body as he wraps something around you. His cape. He fastens it at the neck, and continues with the task at hand. A few moments pass as you lay there, eyes still shut, waiting for him to give you the okay. A warmth has settled in over your body, and all you want to do is stay right here in this moment. A hand sweeps under you and you screech out as he lifts you into the air and into his chest.

"Okay, you can look" He says.

As you open your eyes, you can see that he has put his helmet back on, and has your clothes draped over his shoulder. He begins packing you back towards the Crest, when he stops so suddenly you think something is wrong.

"I know you, Rose." He says softly.

"And I know you" you say as you lift your hands and place them on either side of his helmet.

#din djarin fanfiction #din djarin fluff #din djarin smut #din djarin #soft din djarin #smut #fluff #mando x reader #mando #din and reader

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maplecornia · 3 years

Text

chapter 19

𝔴𝔬𝔯𝔡 𝔠𝔬𝔲𝔫𝔱: 2.93K

𝔰𝔲𝔪𝔪𝔞𝔯𝔶: You watched them from the sidelines ever since you were a young teenage girl. Now you’re grown up, they’ve returned after 2 long years and everything has changed. What happens when you pull back the mask and find the darkness within? What happens when you see that they’re broken?

𝔞/𝔫: when it's 5 am in the morning, you kind of start to lose inspiration for banners ;-;

When you step out into the rain, you feel a bit sad, shutting the door behind you. Smiling to yourself, you sigh, trying to find Taehyung through the tinted windows, your hand lingering on the door.

You don’t want to leave, you want to hold onto him for a bit longer. Somehow, you know that if you say goodbye now, things will stay the same, you will stay the same.

Broken as you've always been.

He’s lost behind the dark, and you have to let go, turning away.

You can’t rely on him. You can’t let your burdens rest on his shoulders, you have to figure out how to solve them on your own. Nevertheless, the temptation is there. To lose yourself in the fantasy of bliss and happiness dancing in the rain.

What happens when you finally let go?

You don’t want to find out.

Inwardly, you try to swallow the lump in your throat as you leave him behind, holding tightly to the bittersweet memories he has given you.

Smiling softly to yourself, you lift your satchel to cover your head, shielding you from the rain like a little umbrella, only a few feet away from the apartment complex door. Glancing to your left, you receive a pang of nostalgia as you recognize the small bench where you waited for Jaejin before.

Was it only yesterday that you came to Korea?

You find it so hard to believe that in a mere span of 24 or so hours, so much has already happened and yet you're here.

The same as before.

You scoff a bit to yourself, finding how pathetic that is. You know you have to change, that you have to fix yourself, and find it sad that you can't seem to do it alone. The only moments where you start to feel okay are moments like today, where others can distract you and give you their strength.

Is that all you're capable of being?

A parasite that leeches off of other's happiness?

You are weak, aren’t you?

Turning away, you start to resume your trek to the safety of your apartment, your new home but pause at the sound of someone shouting behind you.

"Wait!"

It's a familiar voice, and frantic. Curious, and a bit worried, you turn around, trying to find the source of the sound. It takes you a moment to peer through the rain, but soon you can see a figure stepping out of a sleek black car that is parked on the curb.

The same car that dropped you off just moments ago.

Why hasn't he left yet?

Furrowing your brow with confusion, you step forward, but then you see him.

As the figure turns towards you, even from this distance, you’re still able to recognize his face. Why wouldn’t you, when you have been looking at it, memorizing it, adoring it throughout the 5 years you have known him? His eyes glint as they meet yours across the way and he calls out your name once more, leaving you frozen, speechless.

“Wait for me!”

Kim Taehyung, little do you know, I have been waiting for you all my life.

He starts running towards you. Through the rain, splashing through puddles, getting drenched all over again. Not even bothering to pull up his hood as he runs to reach you, his eyes never leave your gaze, braving the monster that is the storm.

You shake your head almost in disbelief as he comes to a stop before you, drenched from head to toe. He’s dripping almost as much as the clouds around you, his hair now plastered to his face. The rain has turned it from its normal dark brown shade to a deep pitch black. His clothes stick tightly to his body from the rain, all efforts to dry off in the car now futile. He shivers a bit from the cold, his teeth slightly chattering as he stands before you, those eyes boring into yours.

He must be so uncomfortable, so cold, and yet…

His eyes can’t stop shining.

You look up at him, half stunned.

“Thank goodness you heard me. I thought I would have to chase you inside.” He says, chuckling to himself. Stunned, you are frozen, your eyes wide and searching his. He notices the strange expression and tilts his head, confused.

“What is it?” he asks, but you don’t answer. He looks left and right as though he weren't the cause of your stare before bending forward and whispering…

“Do I have something on my face?”

At his question, you can’t help but chuckle.

“Yes.” You nod, lowering your satchel to rest by your hip once more and reaching around his neck, pulling the now soaked and heavy fabric of hood up to cover his head. “You have quite a few things on your face.”

Before pulling away, you can't help but absentmindedly brush a bit of his hair out of his face, your hand resting on his cold but soft cheek. He doesn’t complain, just stares at you with wide expectant eyes. His hands itch to raise and keep your comforting hand there on his cheek, but he’s too late as you slowly pull away, meeting those dark mysterious eyes.

“What were you doing?” You ask, raising a hand to shield your eyes to see him better and he stands straight, clearing his throat.

“I never got your name.” He says quite plainly, shocking you a bit.

“You came out here...for my name?” you ask, quite incredulously. “I’m sorry I--”

You’re cut off, by the hand that he holds out to you, a smirk playing on his lips.

“I’m Kim Taehyung, what’s your name?” Taking his hand after a moment, you shake it.

“My name is Lin Yen, it’s nice to meet you.” You reply and he smiles broadly, his eyes seeming to shine with a million stars.

"Was that all?” You ask him, having to raise your voice over the growing torrent of rain.

“Hardly.” He murmurs under his breath, so soft that you can't hear him. Squinting your eyes at him, you push your hair away from your face, the wind playing with it violently.

“What did you say?” You call out to him, wincing as another howl of wind shrieks in your ear. He doesn’t respond, just turns to you and holds out his hand. You give him an incredulous look, thinking he wants another handshake, but he smiles, shaking his head slightly.

“Give me your phone.” he requests, and you sigh in exasperation.

“Tae, we're in the middle of a storm, I don't--”

“I don’t care.” He says, cutting you off and you regard him in silence. “Besides, you're short enough that I could be your umbrella. So you don’t have to be so worried about the rain.” You raise your eyebrow at his statement, a bit offended. He notices your expression, but at the sight of it, his smile only grows wider, mischief playing in his eyes.

“You did not just call me short.” You warn him, crossing your arms across your chest as you wait for his response. He rolls his eyes, shrugging a bit before stepping forward, so close that he’s hovering over you.

“Just stating the facts, sweetheart,” Taehyung replies, raising his brow as though asking for a challenge. You narrow your eyes at him, pursing your lips a bit before he smirks and speaks once more. “You’re like a little fairy, and I’m your protective tree.”

He chuckles, sliding his forefinger under your chin before you pull away with a scoff. Just because some people have the biological genes that make them as tall as the freaking sky…

Tired of his incessant teasing, you raise your hand, take his nose within your fingers, and twist it lightly in retaliation, as though you were stealing it from him. He blinks, a bit surprised as you pull away smirking. Holding your thumb between your fore and middle finger, you wave your hand in front of his face, brandishing it as though it were your prize before turning on your heel and walking away.

“Come on, Mr. Tree.” You call over your shoulder and after a moment, he follows you. When you reach the small overhang above the entrance to your apartment complex, you stop and turn around to him, no longer bare to the storm. Giving him a triumphant smile, you turn to your satchel, slightly humming to yourself. “Looks like you don’t have to be an umbrella anymore.”

“Your loss, for your information I am an excellent tree.” He scoffs, rolling his eyes before resting his hands behind his neck and peeking into your apartment complex. The doors are glass, so it's not hard to see through and as you glance up from your tiny task, you smile at how cute and innocent his expression seems. When your hands finally close around your phone, you let out a small gasp of excitement, startling him. He jumps, his hands falling and resting on his chest as though to try and calm his pounding heart. Pulling it out of your satchel, you try your hardest not to burst out into laughter at the sight of his surprised expression.

“You okay there, Mr. Leafalot?” You ask and he scoffs, a bit annoyed, his soft lips pursing into a small pout.

“For one thing, I have no idea what that means.” You bite back on your laugh, snorting a bit as you raise your hand to hide your ever-growing smile.

“For another, I am perfectly fine, thank you.” Scoffing, he rubs the back of his neck glancing away from you for a moment.

“Honestly, I don't need a clumsy Tinker Bell telling me to be careful.” You roll your eyes, deciding to ignore the slight taunt he just directed your way.

“Whatever, Peter Pan.” You shoot back, earning a slightly surprised look from him. He opens his mouth to reply but you cut him off, holding your phone out to him. He looks at it, then back at you, a question waiting in his eyes. After a moment, you grow tired of waiting and sigh, lagging your arm a bit. “Didn’t you ask to see my phone?”

His eyes light with realization and he nods as though he has forgotten why he was there. He takes the phone from you, your fingers brushing against his before you draw away. As he glances at your home screen, he smirks.

“So...am I your bias?”

You glance up at him, a bit confused by his question, but then you realize.

He has your phone.

The same phone that has him...

On your home screen.

As your wallpaper.

Inwardly, you curse, trying to ignore the blush rising in your cheeks, and lunge forward, trying to take it back. He laughs, dodging and holding your phone out of your reach.

“What's wrong, Tinker?” he antagonizes, grinning like an idiot as he blocks you with his arm.

Curse your tiny arms.

“Taehyung!” you whine, the embarrassment clean on your face. He just laughs, his fingers playing on your screen doing God knows what as he holds you back. You droop on his arm, pouting as he shows no signs of pulling away, nor giving the phone back.

“What did you even need it for?” you complain, slipping off of his arms and crossing your arms once more. Having finished, he turns back to you, smirking. You tilt your head a bit confused as he hands you your phone. Cautiously, you take it, wondering what he’s done.

“See for yourself.” He instructs.

As soon as you see it, your eyes widen.

He opened your contacts and entered one, the new contact set up and filling your screen. On it, he entered a phone number and titled the contact as Your TaeTae with a purple heart next to it. You breathe out a stunned scoff, before looking up to see him smiling at you. A soft, but innocent smile, which shows his hope and unanswered questions. You smile back, touched at his gesture, and still caught in slight disbelief.

“Is this real?” you ask and he nods. Still unsure, you chuckle a bit shakily turning back to the phone. “I mean, this isn’t your manager's phone number or something…?”

He rolls his eyes before stepping forward and taking your hand into his own, gently cutting you off. You meet his gaze with wide eyes and he holds it with his deep ones before turning back to your phone. You still have your hand around it, the same hand which he holds in his own, a gentle touch that never ceases to fill you with warmth.

You watch as he saves the contact to your phone. Held in beautiful silence, the two of you watch as it registers. Once it's saved, he presses the call button and puts it on speaker just as it starts dialing. It holds out three long beeps before a muffled sound can be heard.

A ringtone echoing from Taehyung's back pocket.

You watch in silence as he pulls it out, holding it next to your phone, an unknown caller ID flashing on his screen. The two of you watch as your soft beeping and his ringtone mix together in a strange symphony. That is, until Tae pulls away, answering the call and holding his phone to his ear. It takes you a moment, but as he softly nudges you, you raise yours to your ear, murmuring a soft response.

“Hello?” He smirks at your faint whisper before replying.

“Hello, is this Tinker Bell?” He asks in the same soft, quiet voice, subtly mocking you. But you catch it, and narrow your eyes at him, playfully smacking him in the arm. He winces, pouting, but you don’t buy it and ignore him.

“It is she, is this Peter Pan?” He wrinkles his nose at the nickname, and you scoff, looking away.

Like Tinker Bell is any better?

“No.” He answers, dropping the mocking voice, his deep silky one returning. At the sound of it, you look up, wondering why he turned so serious all of a sudden. He meets you with those large dark hooded eyes, looking at you with an unreadable expression.

“This is Kim Taehyung.” He takes a step forward, so close you can feel the heat radiating off of him, his smell wafting over you once more.

“This is real.”

You look into his eyes, take in his face, the serene look he holds and everything seems to fade away. There’s only you and him, the rain far away, your troubles falling behind you. There’s only one thing that matters.

After a moment, he slowly smiles, ruffling your hair softly. You flinch, raising your hands to protect your head just as he pulls away.

“I’ll see you later, Tinker Bell.” Stepping back, he raises his hand, waving goodbye before turning on his heel and running off into the rain.

You smile, a bit stunned as you watch him until he rounds the corner around the car and opens the door, looking up at you one last time. You smile, and dramatically wave goodbye to him. He laughs, you can hear it, though it may be faint, as he waves back.

Then he’s gone.

The door closes and you watch the car as it drives away. You stare after it long after it's gone and though you're still smiling, it's almost as though you're returned to your dark and empty self.

As though when he left, he took all the light with him.

Sighing, you shake yourself off.

Now is not the time to lose yourself.

So what if the dream has gone?

You promised yourself you would be strong. You promised yourself not to fall.

So you won’t.

Before you turn away, you look down at your phone, which is still open to Taehyung's contact. You smile at the sight of it, a small sign that what just happened was real, and not a dream. Smiling to yourself, you tap on the empty profile and replace it with the same picture you have on your home screen. Smiling like an idiot, you save the contact changes and are about to turn to the door before you see it.

The option to send him a message.

Licking your lips, you raise your hand to your bottom lip, absentmindedly playing with it as you contemplate whether or not you should do it. After a moment, you press the option and watch in anticipation as it brings you to the empty chat page, waiting for you to type. Biting your bottom lip, your fingers fly across the screen. Sweet and simple, you smile once it's finished, adding a purple heart at the end before pressing SEND. The transaction done, you press your home screen button before turning it to sleep, pocketing the phone safely in your satchel once more.

Taking one last look at the rain, where your dream faded away not a moment ago, you sigh with content before turning on your heel and pushing open the door to enter the apartment complex.

And somewhere amongst that onslaught of endless rain, Taehyung, driving down the slick streets of Seoul, receives your message. He opens it, finding it to belong to an unknown number. But when he reads it, he knows it's you.

Goodbye, Peter Pan

After all, who else would call him that?

Smiling, he sends back a purple heart before pocketing his phone and driving farther and farther away.

And yet…

It’s almost as though he never left.

𝔫𝔬𝔱𝔢: i'm sorry but even though the banner is simple, I'M IN LOVE WITH HIS SMILE OMFG

chapter 20 here

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