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maplecornia · 8 months

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chapter 76

infinite stars masterlist | BTS masterlist | masterlist | playlist

𝔴𝔬𝔯𝔡 𝔠𝔬𝔲𝔫𝔱: 2K

𝔭𝔞𝔦𝔯𝔦𝔫𝔤: bts x female!reader

𝔤𝔢𝔫𝔯𝔢: romance | slice of life | fluff | angst | idol au

𝔰𝔲𝔪𝔪𝔞𝔯𝔶: they found themselves in a fabrication of something so infinite, so beautiful, it could only belong in the stars

All of our lives we search for something.

Something to fill the void, something to give our life meaning.

Staring at each other from across the stage, Yen wonders if this is what she's been searching for. If he is her safe haven, her shelter from the storm, the bane of her existence. When she is near him, it’s not so hard to believe that she’ll be okay. That the wasteland isn’t as barren as she was led to believe and if she allowed herself to hold on to him, if only for a moment; the darkness would stop closing in.

Is that what it feels like to fall in love? To want to give up your everything to another and pray they would be willing to give it back?

Yen has been so terrified of the feeling, so terrified of breaking from the fall, that she had forgotten just how much it can turn your world upside down the moment someone manages to become a part of your world. And there he stands, his heart open and ready to accept her, if only she would let him in.

Is it such a naive thought to think they were made for each other?

They have been hurt for too long, they have been wandering lost for so long, that at some point, they had begun to forget what it was they needed. They had begun to forget how it felt to lean on someone else, to allow them to shield them from the storm that had once cost them their happiness. Perhaps they felt they no longer deserved it, perhaps their darkness had been born of their own weakness and volition, but perhaps that is true of all of us when we begin to feel as though we are not enough. Perhaps that is the cost we pay for the fragile yet beautiful notion that is our humanity.

And yet, despite the pain and the cost, they may well be the luckiest ones.

For they were able to find each other.

Amidst the chaos, amidst all of the people and all the noise, somehow the two who were the most lost found each other. And once they did, they held on tight to that string tying their hearts together. They followed it to the other, leaning on the other so that they wouldn’t have to feel that numbing cold anymore. For if they were together, the world outside was less loud and unforgiving, and that was enough for them.

Was it fate?

Was it destiny?

Yen doesn't know if she believes that. Even if he is her destiny, and they were connected by some invisible string, she can't find it within herself to believe that is the reason why her heart calls to him. It was always his, but it was not because someone told her it was so, it was because she chose to give it to him.

She chose him, just as he chose her.

As the music begins, the crowd, the fear, the pressure, none of it seems to matter, because he is there to catch her if she falls. Just as he's always been, just as he promised to be, just as he will continue to do for the rest of their lives.

If she chooses it.

As they dance, Taehyung finds himself enraptured in her. In the way her eyes sparkle each time they draw close, as her world paints itself around them in iridescent colors, as she pours her heart into the performance just as she had done once before. And this time, instead of losing herself in her mind, she is lost in his eyes.

The flowers bloom around them, the stars sparkle hot on their skin, and as they hold each other in their arms, they begin to fly. As though their worlds had collided in their own beautiful symphony just as their hearts had completed the other before they had even realized what that would mean.

They pull each other close, losing themselves in the other as though this was their form of heroine. Addicted to the feeling so much so that if they were to break away now, their entire world would shatter. They drink in the other’s passion, rely on the other’s touch on their skin, for by now they know that if either were to falter, the other would be there to pick them up where they had fallen. They have become connected beyond just words, their very souls pressing together, merging and intertwining until they are one and complete. And for the first time, they finally feel whole. As though this was the missing piece they had needed all this time. Up until now, they had been so close, and yet so far, so much so that now that they have finally crossed that threshold, they cannot bear to fathom the thought of moving forward without the other near. Their bodies are on fire, each touch ablaze on their skin as they draw closer and closer with every shared breath. It is both sweet and painful, a strange feeling that only grows stronger with the beats of their hearts entwined. It alights their senses, catches them falling deeper and deeper into the exhilaration, their want, their desire.

It's just like that day in the practice room, but something is different. It’s as though they had broken down a barrier that had kept them apart until this moment, and now that they can finally touch with nothing holding them back, it’s as though they refuse to let the other go. What was once a fantasy has become real, and they want to be sure to drink up every bit of this reality before it passes them by.

They lose themselves in the other, the music manipulating their movements, but never their eyes as they stay locked on the other, the dance growing deeper and deeper by the second as they find themselves drawn closer and closer to the other with every beat and every step. If the crowd cheers for them, they do not know. If the spectators cast curses their way, they are unaware. They drink in each other's taste on their breath, relishing in the fire that ignites each time their skin brushes the other. Their hearts beat in time with each other, their desire only growing with the acceleration of adrenaline running deep in their veins.

As they perform, they wear their heart on their sleeve, almost akin to stripping naked for the world to see. It is the key to every performer, an act they must perfect in order to enrapture an audience with their voice, their movements. It is a dangerous game, for if you allow too much of yourself in a performance, if you let the emotions seep in more than they are wanted; the entire world would be able to see your heart's truest intentions. When the act is no longer an act and has broiled down to the raw emotions beneath.

And though Yen adorns a mask, and should be no one more than a backup dancer to anyone who looks on, Jennie knows this is the one that Taehyung was talking about. Perhaps everyone else can fool themselves into thinking the pair are just incredibly good at their job, but she knows him. She's seen that same look in his eyes before, she's felt the same way Yen feels at this moment right now.

After all, it was the way she had once felt when she was loved by him.

Jungkook can feel it too.

Watching once more from the sidelines, the sickening feeling of despair grows in his gut as he sees the way you look at him. How your eyes devour him without you even having to say a single word. Though he wants to look away, he finds that he cannot, for the world which the two of you have created has grown so potent and beautiful that it has him, and the world enraptured within it.

And just as he notices it, Bang Sihyuk senses the danger.

The consequences this attraction could have if it were to grow. How it could ruin Yen's future, how it could foil the plans he has for you. As he looks Jiwon's way, he can sense the same fear. He wonders if this will be worth the risk. Or if this complication will only cause the ruin of everything he had fought so hard to build.

But to the pair on the stage, none of that seems to matter anymore.

Taehyung has found his reason.

He's been searching for her for so long, desperate to find the answer behind the call in his heart, desperate to name the innate desire to be hers for all of his days. He looks at her with a tenderness that not many would be lucky enough to experience in their lifetime, and yet he would gladly give to her for a multitude of his. If it takes days, months, or years, he would still be waiting for her, always ready for the day when she finally allows him in. That is how deep his love for her runs, that is how willingly he has given himself up to her.

The purest form of love imaginable, where the only wish one could have is the other's happiness.

And she knows this.

And as the song reaches its climax and she falls willingly into his ready arms, she has already given him the key to her heart. Perhaps it had always been his to keep, and all she really needed was for him to ask. She thought if she had kept it hidden, if she had protected it behind a facade of strength and resiliency, maybe she would be able to be okay. Perhaps then no one would ever have a chance to hurt her again.

But when she met him, that all changed. He saw through every facade, broke down every barrier, just so he could be near her. He fought just for a chance to be chosen, when she had already done so before he was given a chance to ask.

As she looks into his eyes, she wants nothing more than him by her side. She finds that she’s no longer afraid, not like she used to be. She’s willing to let him in, she’s willing to make a world with him by her side. She wants to show him every part of herself, the good and the bad, destiny and fate be damned. She doesn’t care if she’s being naive to believe in this fantasy. She doesn’t care if their end will tear her apart beyond any repair. For in this moment, she knows that as long as he’s beside her, she’d be willing to brave any storm.

After all, she chose him.

Just as he chose her.

And as the final notes of the song play, Taehyung removes the mask from her face, his eyes lidded with desire and an incessant craving only she can fulfill. Yen looks at him, her fingers tangling themselves in the tendrils of his hair, her body drawing closer and closer to his as though it were being pulled by an invisible string. She places her hand against his heart just as he did moments before, and whispers three words that could tear everything apart.

"I love you."

His heartbeat wild beneath her fingertips, he pulls her so close till they are mere inches apart, pressing his forehead against hers and staring at her with dark eyes. Eyes that ask a question, a question that she willingly answers as she closes the space between them, her lips finding his in a startling connection a second before the lights go down, and the world uproars into chaos.

Perhaps she still hasn’t found her reason.

Maybe she never knew it to begin with.

But in his arms, she finds that her reason begins and ends with him.

When she left, she wasn’t looking for a savior.

When he met her, he was desperate to be saved.

Was it fate?

Was it a coincidence?

Sometimes there's no way of knowing. Sometimes, two people find each other when they need the other most. And sometimes you find yourself thrown into a fabrication of their dreams, of something so beautiful, so infinite…

That it can only belong in the stars.

author's note here

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star-mum · 4 months

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so I'm back on my weeb bullshit and by that I mean I'm studying japanese again and things !!! are !!! happening !! i can see progress !!!

#oh to have infinite free time #to do things only for the sake of doing them #not for some specific capitalistic reason #i genuinely enjoy studying so much #learning is so much fun #if only we weren't forced to do that so we don't starve 🥴#I'll be here with little updates every once in a while #BUT !!#im finally understanding the hiragana writing (im a little slow at it but I can read it now)#also Netflix has the jp dub to a LOT of shows/movies I've seen #currently rewatching all of Brooklyn 99 in japanese and 1. the dub is really good 2. im in love with Jake's voice #and 3. im both picking up some vocab stuff AND getting better at listening/understanding sentence structure #im genuinely so excited about this #tho i learned english on my own I did it when I was very young so it was kinda like learning a first language again #with jp I actually have to work in it and study and guess what I can do that too #I was really struggling with it a while back cause I wasn't retaining anything and thought I was a fucking fraud and dumb and stupid #turns out no ! i actually just needed to allow my brain to focus on only one thing at a time #I'll make a list of shows/movies I'm planning on watching in japanese at some point #i feel like dubs like that are more reliable than anime cause it feels more conversational ya know #star does languages 🇯🇵#i will learn EVERY LANGUAGE #(probs not but I can try)#spanish will be next tho mark my words y'all

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oldschoolfrp · 11 days

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Zargon awaits beneath The Lost City -- Kevin Glint updates the look of a classic encounter from module B4, first drawn by Jim Holloway:

Quests from the Infinite Staircase (July 16, 2024) will include 5e conversions of 6 D&D/AD&D adventures from the 1980s:

B4: The Lost City by Tom Moldvay (1982, originally for Moldvay's version of Basic D&D)

UK4: When a Star Falls by Graeme Morris (1984, originally for AD&D)

UK1: Beyond the Crystal Cave by Dave J Brown, Tom Kirby, and Graeme Morris (1983, AD&D)

I3: Pharaoh by Tracy and Laura Hickman (1982, AD&D)

S4: The Lost Caverns of Tsojcanth by Gary Gygax (1982, AD&D)

S3: Expedition to the Barrier Peaks by Gary Gygax (1980, AD&D)

#D&D #Dungeons & Dragons #Kevin Glint #Zargon #The Lost City #AD&D #Basic D&D #dnd #D&D 5e #5e #TSR #WotC #Gary Gygax #1980s #Dungeons and Dragons

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ymaohoh · 26 days

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Hellcheer Fanfiction Recs

So I've gone mad and read like a hundred hellcheer fanfictions over the last two months. I wanted to make a list of my favourite ones to share.

(all the writers for this duo are super talented honestly so there's plenty more to add here)

Updated: April/2024

You want a Chrissy joining the Hellfire Club AU? take a chance on me by WomanOf1000Faces Roll For... by Not a Little But A Lottie (klarolineagainnaturally) You want to read Hellcheer from an alternative character POV? still awake, playing chase with the sunrise by cyraclove (Max) The Cheerleader and the Hellfire King by cunninghamschrissy (Dustin) she said to me, forget what you thought by kattyshack (Max) You make me the best kind of nervous, pretty sure you do that shit on purpose... by PhoenixTalon (Will + the freshmen) for the freak and the princess by thehellcheervoid (Anysia) (Jonathan) Stereotypes by shroomyystar (Mike) A Gentle Nudge by bigdumbbambieyes (Billy) You want some straight up smut? honeycomb by cyraclove Late one night by AdelaideElaine and sequel Rose-tint my world talk me up so sweet by kattyshack You want some smut with fluff? love you as much as i do by thehellcheervoid (Anysia) the only thing i want (when one drop hits my mouth) by cunninghams and justyrae wilted by cunninghams You want some daddy kink smut? oh, pretty baby, where’ve you been? by kattyshack got someone to hold me, call me his by agentmmayy You want a smutty Hellcheer date? when you’re dressed in black from head to toe (think I like you best) by cunninghams You want Eddie or Chrissy longing after the other? synchronized denial by empress_of_snark Silver Smile by shroomyystar worthless players of a non-believer by cunninghamschrissy he comes to visit me (when i’m dreaming every now and then) by cunninghams (features a Chrissy/Steve dynamic which is also beautiful) i can see you by rose_n_gunses dust off my clumsy words & bad pick-up lines by kattyshack You want some wibbly-wobbly time travel stuff feat. Hellcheer? i just died in your arms tonight by shroomyystar someone reaching back for me by enoughtotemptme You want a body-swap AU? Duality by broomclosetkink (also features the best Chrissy/Wayne moment I've ever read) You want some Eddie vs Jason moments? always be here (from now on) by brightblackholes You want a re-do of Season 4 where Chrissy lives? Check out these epics Chrissy and Eddie’s Infinite Mixtape by LovelyThings aesthetic chills by sloelimbs On the Other Side by JohnGreenGirlAo3 You want a Chrissy/Eddie moving on from Vecna fic? heart begins to beat by makeshiftcandy graceland, too. (whatever she wants) by cunninghams (bucket list AU) trailing stars behind us by HearJessRoar You want an AU Chrissy/Eddie friends to lovers with no Vecna at all? Confrontations with the Devil by Spitecookie You want a fake dating AU? twenty-one rules by elanor_gamgee we're a lie (you and i) by makeshiftcandy

#hellcheer #eddissy #hellcheer fanfic #eddisy #eddissy fanfiction #chrissy cunningham x eddie munson #chrissy x eddie #eddie x chrissy #chrissy cunningham #eddie munson #hellcheer fanfiction #stranger things fanfiction #everyone is so talented

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morallyinept · 6 months

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Summary: Joel Miller comes back into your life unexpectedly after a gap of thirty years, and stirs up all kinds of memories and longing. Now, as you're stationed on an outpost for five days alone with the man you stupidly let go of all those years ago, you have a chance to confront him about your past life together and all the things you wished you’d said and done.

But Joel’s different now, and you know you need to tread carefully. Joel Miller is not the same man you once knew in another life.

A slow burn romance set in the post apocalyptic world, approx. twenty or so years after the initial Cordyceps outbreak.

Pairing: Post-Outbreak Joel Miller x MatureF!Reader (No name or physical description of reader. However reader is of a similar age range as Joel; in her late forties/early fifties. Joel is slightly older at 56.)

Chapter Word Count: 3.9k

Series Masterlist

☝🏻See Series Masterlist for full smut warnings & triggers in this story. Chapters that contain smut or triggers will be highlighted in the chapter notes below. 👇🏻

Chapter notes: You're getting this a day early this week. For reasons. Mentions and descriptions of panic attacks. Mentions of self-harm/attempted suicide. Heavy angst - I promise, it will pep up soon! 😅

☝🏻Some of the tags aren't working, so please ensure you're following me and turn on notifs so you don't miss an update on this story.

Enjoy! 🖤

Previous Chapter

The sun is on the other side of the sky when you eventually arrive at outpost three.

The pink edges of an early dusk will soon make their way in, dip-dyeing the clouds rolling in puffy plumes above.

Summer evenings have always been beautiful, even before the world turned to shit.

You enjoy the colours; the golds fading into pinks, and then purples as the night would settle in. A pastel kaleidiscope, and you're thankful the sky has remained free of the horrors that taint the ground below it.

It's the only reprieve you have left these days, when you take a moment to gaze up at the stars, enthralled by the infinite beauty of space.

A renegade memory cuts in; Joel's body warming you on the air mattress he'd dragged out into the garden so you could both watch the meteor shower you'd been haranguing him about for weeks.

I don't want to miss it! You'd said, endlessly. There were only a few glimpses of the white, glittery streaks across the sky that night. Mostly because you and Joel were too busy looking at one another instead and talking excitely about the future. Your future, together.

Even though you never actually had one.

You smile with a deep sigh, throwing your head up to the sky as you trot on and Joel catches your wistful eyes.

"What's that look for? " He queries, curiously.

You shake your head smiling. "Nothing."

The day feels like it's dragged on deliberately to torment you, and tiredness weighs heavy on your back and under your eyes.

You follow Joel on his stud up the grassy knolls towards a small looking shack, tucked and nestled out the way that's not so obvious it's there, but gives a good view down into the valley which you’ve spent the last couple of hours riding up languidly.

Once off your horse, you guide the mare into a side stable hidden by the trees and are surprised to find ample hay bales stacked in there.

Joel shuts the paddock fence, “grab that bucket there,” he instructs and you do, following him as he takes the heavy knapsacks from off your horse. You offer to take them, but he shakes his head as he loads himself up and it makes you smile that he's never lost his gentlemanly chilvary.

Even if he's lost everything else.

Joel reaches behind a piece of wood and pulls out a key, unlocking the door and you instantly marvel at the inside.

“This is not what I expected from an outpost,” you say as you look about the place in bewilderment.

There’s a small, ashy stove in the corner with a basket of chopped logs next to it. A singular camper’s cot is along the far wall, with sheets folded on top of it and a threadbare pillow.

A couple of beaten wicker chairs face a large window; most of it is boarded up, save for a small square cut out where the light pools in softly and illuminates the floor by your feet. Dust motes dance in the white beams and you wander over to the view of the valley that’s squashed inside the tiny frame like a grainy Polaroid.

You traipse over to the side room, which is an alcove cut into the wood, to find a hose pipe attached to a slow rusting tap. A crude shower with a curtain hanging up. There's a couple of rough feeling towels on a hook, and a large bowl on the floor, presumably the toilet.

"S'no hot water." He says with a thin line for a mouth.

You turn to Joel shrugging, surprised. “Are all your outposts this fancy?” You quip with a wry grin.

You were expecting a hole in the dirt to squat in for the next five days and not much else. This is a palace in comparison.

A rickety shelving unit houses a few dogeared books, a few battered boxes that you see are old board games on closer inspection. There’s also an array of metal tins, some in various states of peeling and rusting.

“We work in rotations when on the lookout. The guys who were here last would’ve left yesterday, maybe the day before. Gotta leave the place smart n’ tidy for the next shift. Those are the rules.”

“Noted,” you say as Joel takes the metal bucket from you. He's careful not to touch you, you notice. “You’ve been on the lookout before?” Your fingers run over the sniper stand set up by the window.

The floorboards beneath you creak and jostle as you move, and you look down to see one board is loose as you step on it with your boot. You can hear running water from the tap in the alcove as the bucket starts to fill.

“A few times. I mostly get picked for scoutin’ runs.” Joel explains, his head peering out from the alcove at you. “S’what I used to do in the QZ, so guess m’good for it.”

"Are you good at finding things?"

He doesn't answer that.

You bend down and pull the floorboard up and find boxes of bullets and shotgun cartridges in there and baulk. There’s a small radio walkie-talkie too.

“Get ‘em all out,” Joel instructs you, resting the full bucket by the door. “We might be needin’ ‘em. Best have ‘em ready.”

You do and Joel attaches his rifle on the stand, peering through the periscope and places the boxes, you hand up to him, on the small table in between the wicker chairs.

“We switch the radio on once, just before midday, each day. If nothin’ comes through by quarter-past, then all is well.” Joel explains.

He throws his thumb over his shoulder to three small clocks on a wonky wooden shelf that tick quietly out of sync. They all read at the same time, differing by a minute or two. A stack of batteries are beside them. “In case one stops,” Joel remarks as he sees you inspecting.

“Industrious.” You nod understanding, and place the radio on the table next to the bullets. “Are all the outposts equipped like this?”

“Pretty much. Each time ya have a shift, ya bring supplies with ya from the commune to top up.”

You nod again as he points at the knapsacks realising that you’ll have less to go back with.

“You want me to take the first watch?” You offer.

Joel shakes his head. “No. I will. But we’ll eat first. Once it’s dark, we can’t use any light. Don’t want no-one or no infected knowin’ we’re here, okay? We keep quiet, keep our heads down. We just wait n’ watch.”

“Yes, sir.” You remark with a salute and Joel grits his teeth.

“You wanna get the stove goin’?” He frowns.

“You’re not gonna cook for me?” You remark with your tongue in your teeth, and he rolls his eyes. “I remember you being a great cook.”

“I ‘member you bein' full of shit.” Joel remarks as he steps over and rifles through the knapsacks, pulling out several cans and handing them to you.

You chuckle, recalling the time when Joel burnt the only dinner he’d ever attempted to cook for you on Valentine’s Day once. Instead, he’d ordered in pizza and then fucked you on his parent’s sofa whilst they were out on a romantic date night of their own.

It was a close call, barely getting your damp panties back on before they came home to two red faces with messy hair trying to look innocent. It was the same night he told you he loved you.

The thought warms your belly momentarily before the snakes strike with their venom again.

You look down at the cans, some dented, some without labels, one is blown and you tell Joel you can't eat it and he nods. You get to preparing some food. It’s a lucky dip as to what it’ll be, but you remain optimistic.

Joel pulls out a tupperware box with some baked bread in it and you groan in surprise.

“Courtesy of Jake.” He says with a little pride blooming in his cheeks.

“Jake?”

“He runs The Tispy Bison. He sees me right.” He tries not to smirk smugly.

“Is that because you’re his dealer or something?” You titter.

Joel baulks. “I might do him some favours when I’m on a run.”

“Mmhm. Is this focaccia?” You gasp, taking the tupperware box, opening it and inhaling the freshly baked scent of flour, rosemary and oils.

“Dunno, s’different each time.”

“Well. Jake might just be my new favourite person.” You say, grinning as the scent of the bread makes your mouth salivate.

“Hm. Next time you can spend five days gettin’ cosy with Jake then.” Joel gruffs, the frown returning, but his mirth still remains.

You watch Joel take the bucket and open the shack door. “Gonna give the horses a drink.”

He closes the door, but not before you catch his dark, chocolate eyes glancing back at you.

Out in the stable, Joel strokes down the mare gently whilst she drinks from the bucket hanging on a tough metal peg.

He loses himself in the feel of her coat for a while, focusing in on that silky smoothness over his rough fingertips and he runs them up and down.

The stallion eats from the corner, chewing as he tugs hay from the bale with big, glassy black eyes.

Joel’s mind wanders from the stable to inside the shack where you are. If he listens real carefully, and presses himself up against the far wall closest to the shack, he could probably hear you clanking about with the pans.

He could probably hear you mutter obscenities at the stove as you struggle to get the wood to catch light. He’d probably rest his large palm against the coarse wood, reaching out as though he was touching you.

God, he wants to touch you so badly. Convince himself that you're real.

He wonders if you would feel it; sense him here, listening to the music of you as it pollutes his head and stuffs up his senses, only but a mere few steps away.

So close, yet so fucking far from his reach.

Joel takes his hand off the wood and steps back; shaking his head and muttering curses of his own to himself for being so damn foolish.

He steps back to the mare who snuffles at him and he gets back to stroking her down. Her large head knocks against his arm and Joel wonders for a moment if it’s her way of telling him to grow a pair and get back in there.

Get back to you.

He calms her with a soothing shush and strokes over her ears, winding the velvet of them gently through his thick fingers as she snuffles again.

“You’re just as sweet as May, aren’t ya, darlin’?” He coos to her and the horse puts her mouth back in the bucket leaving Joel to contemplate and to just think some more.

Thinking has always been his worst enemy, deducing that he probably does it far too much for his own good. Often, the thinking is what talks him out of things, calms the recklessness that used to run in his blood during his wily youth.

Thinking is what stops him from unleashing the ire on a daily basis now. And he’s not sure anymore if that’s a good or bad thing.

He scratches at his temple and his fingers run the familiar pattern of the scar there. It stops all thinking for a moment as his tips notch over the puckered skin.

Just leaves him that stabbing feeling that starts at the bottom of his heart until it eventually takes over his beating muscle and renders him frozen, incapacitated for a few short moments as he remembers raising the gun to his temple in his darkest moment.

Joel wonders why it is that he never died; why it is that he flinched when he pulled the trigger. He should have died a long time ago, should be with Sarah now holding her close and smelling the coconut shampoo in her hair that he misses more than anything in this fucking cruel world.

Joel deduces that thinking probably talked him out of that too. That, somewhere, in the back of his foggy brain that could often chatter insidiously at him for hours - so much so that he had to resort to numbing out the noise with booze and pills just to get some simple shut eye sometimes - a small voice talked him down off that ledge.

But he wonders why it has, every day since. What was the point if not to taunt him with his losses?

He’d said to Ellie that he was glad he hadn’t. And he’d meant it. But Ellie was gone, her time between visits getting longer and he knows it’s because he tried to do right by her, even if it backfired in his face later when she discovered his dishonesty.

That voice that told him to fight for her as he gunned everyone down in that hospital selfishly. Point, shoot. Point, shoot.

The thinking had quelled then, a calm just leaving him to go stoically postal as he pointed and shot at targets; a quiet white noise filling his ears until Ellie was back in his arms and he could hear again.

And now she’s not.

Joel Miller is a loser; he's continually losing the people that matter the most to him. That has to be it, he thinks.

He looks down at his hands; two large paws that are weathered and worn, calloused and rough. Index fingers with split skin and a liver spot here or there that never used to be. Prominent veins that ridge and thumbs that always annoy him with their stubbiness, getting in the way of practicality at times.

Working hands that were once strong and built things, but now tremble and shake uncontrollably at times. Strong hands that fail to be able to hold onto anyone that he cares for anymore. He’d let go of Sarah, he’d let go of Tess. He’d let go of Ellie.

And he had let go of you.

Joel squeezes his fists shut, breathing in through a choke that rasps out at the back of his throat. That shit makes his chest burn and he can’t breathe anymore. It takes his breath from him as he tries to suck in oxygen that he can’t quite catch in the air.

He can feel his blood beginning to boil rapidly with the heat rising within him. Clarity is being lost to him and emotion - savage, raw emotion - is beginning to take hold as it creeps up his spine.

Please, stop.

He puffs in deeply a few times, sinking to his knees and breathing his way through it. Refusing to relent, refusing to let it take him.

But it always does. It’s stronger than him.

He feels it then, as it mutates from anger into sheer blinding panic crippling him in seconds; that all too familiar freezing grip tightening around his ventricles and muscles as he tries to regain his composure that’s stripped from him. He’s reduced to naked, quivering flesh in a matter of seconds.

He tries to remember to breathe as it ices his teeth shut. But all rational thought is swallowed up like it always is. All he can hear is his blood pumping -thump-thump-thump-thump- and then that tiny little voice -thump-thump-thump-thump- that slithers out from the dark again.

You’re dying, the voice says. This is what death feels like, and you’re going to die alone, Joel.

-Thump-thump-thump-thump-

He grabs at his chest, closing his eyes; hearing nothing but steam rolling through his ears. And for a few moments, he relives his personal Hell over and over.

He’s dizzy, falling forward on all fours as he rides it out; the horses are the only witnesses to his sinking, to his drowning right before them. They can’t save him, no-one can.

The mare brays, calling out to him to come back, but it's swallowed up in the panic as he sinks and flows away.

Once he does come back, when the ice eventually melts and his heart relaxes, he realises he’s still in it. Trapped in a living Hell that relents on and on.

He didn’t die, no - he’s still fucking here.

Joel breathes tightly, feeling the raw scrape in the back of his throat as he sits back on his ankles.

His hands run through his hair that feels matted with sweat, dripping damp around the back of his collar, and he's past the stage where he wants to yank it all out in agony.

It takes him two attempts to stand, cursing at his fucking knee that still pulls tight just to spite him, and once he's upright, he pats the mare on the side assuringly. Her silk anchors him back to reality as he convinces himself that he’s here.

As he turns, Joel sees your shadow moving forward in the doorway; your voice echoing in, and he stops dead, wide eyed.

“...I came to see where you’d got to. Food’s almost ready, or what we're passing off for food anyway these days…” you say, and you eye him carefully noting how paler he looks. “You alright?”

Joel stares at you, wondering if you just witnessed him falling apart, wonders what you’d make of it and searching your eyes frantically for any pity.

He can take you hating him - he wonders if you do, and wouldn't hold it against you, because he hates himself - but he can’t take your pity. That would be the final death of him.

“M’fine.” Joel replies through a swallowed wheeze, and passes you, heading back into the shack.

Nine Years Ago...

It feels soft and it’s a sensation that pulls your attention for a moment. Diverts you out and away from the suffocating void.

It shouldn’t feel like that, surely? Not after all this time. Coarse, hardened, maybe. But not soft.

You watch as he winds the long, soft layers of the clean bandage around your wrist. It hurts less now, the sting. But you’ve been numb for a while.

He tucks it in place, his hands applying light pressure around it as he fires off gentle commands around you. Your mouth is lead, your head is empty. A couple of pairs of eyes hover behind him, their silence deafening.

He instructs them to fetch some more water and he instructs you to drink it, but you don’t. Or at least you can't remember if you do. You look down at your wrist. It feels so soft.

He doesn’t question you. He doesn't look at you to make you feel even more shitty than you already do. He doesn’t feel sorry for you.

He’s just... patient.

He stays with you, night and day. Doesn’t leave your side, which is equal parts infuriating as well as terrifyingly comforting. You loathe him, with every fibre of your being for what he did. For what he does.

For how he keeps you alive and fighting.

He assists you, when you need it most. When you need it intimately, without disgust, without hesitation. Taking a shit is difficult with only one working hand.

You fucked up, cut too deep.

Your wrist aches from the damage to the tendons. Years later you’ll still feel that ache, when it gets cold. When you overexert yourself. A constant reminder of your epic failure. A single finger blessed permanently numb and tingly forever. You envy it.

It'll get better. Give it time, he says. Give it patience. But you have none of those things anymore. Not even pain.

It's all numbed out, washed away.

He holds you whilst you cry, when you try to push him away, when you let out all of that anger, all of that fury onto him in short bursts.

He takes it. He absorbs it. He’ll bruise under his eye, but he takes it from you.

Until you have nothing more to give.

And then you sleep. For days. You wake up in his arms, it’s hot. Stifling. You haven’t showered, maybe in weeks. But he still holds you close, unperturbed by your foul smells.

You’re not even sure when the last time it was that you ate. You’re not even sure where you are anymore. Who you are anymore.

There's more of you, new faces you haven't met yet. Names you can't remember. He tells you them, introduces you as something you're not. You think you smile, agree with him. Reassure them like he does that they're safe now. That you'll protect them.

Days turn into weeks at an incomprehensible blur. Weeks into months, and it’s not until you’re both out with a small group hunting, laying snares for wild rabbits, that you finally talk about it.

“I didn't want to be here, just for this.” You murmur. Anything but this.

Kelper stops and looks at you. “Too late. This is all we have now.”

You walk on, your gun lowered as you trample over dead branches, leaves. Everything is dead now. It's been a harsh winter. Freezing. And you're just so fucking tired of not feeling any of it.

“I can't sanction your inherent stupidity. I can empathise with it.” He says, following behind. “But you don’t get to do that. Not on my watch.”

“You had no right.” You scoff. "It was my choice, not yours."

“Fuck you.”

You stop and turn to him. His eyes are focused, a frown crushes them. Kelper's face is unrecognisable. You've not met this Kelper before.

“Fuck you.” he says again, a growl to his voice. “Don’t be so selfish.”

You shake your head.

“You don’t get to check out. Not when…” He wipes at his face with his palm quickly. “You owe it to yourself to fight. To keep fucking going.”

“There’s nothing left to keep going for. Your delusion is misplaced, Kelper. It always has been.” You murmur.

He steps closer to you. His voice is a soft, muted sigh, expressing a gentle annoyance now for this new found situation. He never gets fully angry and you wonder what it would take to see him implode like a sun. His devastation would be glorious.

“You know that’s not true. That’s the fear talking.” Kelper says and shakes his head. “We endure and we fucking survive. For each other. This world isn’t done with us. It’s chaotic. It fucking hurts, I know it does. It's rotten, right down to the core. But it has more to offer. It's has to..." He sighs.

His eyes water, but he blinks it away quickly. "They need you."

"No they don't." You say.

"I need you, Goose. I can't do this without you. I don't want to do this without you.” Kelper says.

You gulp. Then your lips crash into his. He kisses you back, if but for a weak, selfish moment as a sob escapes you and into his mouth.

It's been so long since you've felt anything warm. And his lips are warm, his tongue. And like a moth to a flame, you want him to burn you alive. Immolate your entire being to ash and dust.

Kelper pushes you back gently as you gasp.

“I’m sorry.” You whisper, clutching back onto him. Feeling foolish, feeling relieved that you finally feel something again, even if it is embarrassment.

He smiles and shakes his head. “It’s a shame you don’t have a cock, otherwise I’d be all over that.”

Kelper sighs, pulling you into his chest. He wears a ring around his neck. The most delicate, fragile thing about him, with a tiny, blue sapphire embedded into the metal. A symbol of his own fragility and losses.

It pushes against your clavicle and leaves an indent in your skin, long after he pulls away.

You smile, and then a snuffle of laughter escapes your mouth. He laughs too.

“I’m never leaving you. And you’re not ever leaving me, okay?” His eyes bore into yours, hollowing you out from the inside. "I fucking love you, you got that?" He jabs his finger gently onto the side of your skull.

You know its futile to fight it anymore. To resist. His belief is a parasite worming its way in to your gullet and feeding, getting fatter. He's right, this world isn't done. It can't be. Every day that you're alive is a day to make it better. A day to find a purpose, to find hope.

You know these words, the mantras, as you try to pick through and unjumble them again. To see the clarity in them that you know is there. You felt it once before, you can again, right?

To endure and survive, long after this world has changed.

He saved you. Three years later you'd return the favour. And you'd have this conversation again. Only then, you'll believe the conviction behind these words, these ideals, as you tell him, yell at him, what he's just told you, as you keep his lifeforce inside of his skin to fight another day with you.

They need you! I need you, Maverick!

This is how you'll save him. This is how he saves you. This is why you endure and survive.

You nod at Kelper and you both clutch on to one another. “Okay." You breathe.

You run your finger up and down the raised, smooth track of the scar; your sleeve rolled up as you stop stirring the pot of the savoury, and somewhat overbearingly salty, smelling canned meat that’s simmering slowly on the stove.

The skin feels different, it’s healed over, physically. Thicker. Thicker skin. Impenetrable.

It pulls you out of your reverie back to the present day. He’ll be alright. You chant internally. He’ll be fine. It’s five days, get a grip.

Your attention is diverted by the sound of one of the horses braying gently outside, and you stir the contents again, pulling down your sleeve.

You serve up the bread on some chipped plates, breaking some off the loaf between you. You inhale the scents and it takes you back to another life; a life that was simplistic in its mundane joy.

A time when a broken heart was the only thing to fear in the dark.

You realise Joel has been gone for a little while as the stew bubbles sticky in the pan.

“Joel?” You call out gently.

You wander out towards the stable when you get no response, and he hasn’t returned.

You call out to him again en route. “...I came to see where you’d got to. Food’s almost ready, or what we're passing off for food these days…” you say, with a slight mirth clacking around your teeth.

The scents of the stew can be smelt in your hair, your clothes. That and the firewood. Your stomach rumbles, but you’re not sure if it’s from hunger or the fact that it’s been tossed around on an emotional rollercoaster all day.

You stop as you round into the stable and see Joel staring at you, a little wide-eyed and sweaty in his hairline.

“You alright?” You query, eyeing him carefully.

He stares back at you with a peculiar look; some furtive panic swelling around his eyeballs. He seems heavier somehow, like he’s being crushed.

He snaps out of it; the frown returning in its rightful place and then his eyes drop away from yours. He wipes his hands down on the back of his jeans listlessly and steps forward, past you, leaving a cold prickle blooming on your skin.

“M’fine.” Joel replies.

To be continued...

Main Masterlist | Series Masterlist | Prev Chapter | Next Chapter

Thank you for taking the time to read my story; it really means so much to me. I'd love to know your thoughts, and I'd really appreciate a re-blog so others can enjoy this story too. Thank you so much 🖤

MAIN MASTERLIST

TAGLIST: If you'd like to be added/removed, please let me know.

Tagging everyone who asked to be tagged & who re-blogged my teaser.

@secretelephanttattoo @morgaussy @darkheartgatita @sp00kymulderr @survivingandenduring @sin-djarin @lilmizmoz @yazsos @ryangoslingstanktop @barbellpedro @givemeth @anavatazes @alwaysmicado @the-blind-assassin-12 @kirsteng42 @missredherring @gasolinerainbowpuddles @millennial-teenybopper @maggiemayhemnj @harriedandharassed @stevie75 @mysterious-moonstruck-musings @chaoticfestninja @reddedmiller @doughmonkey @sonderosa @magpiepillsjunior @chronically-ghosted @pedroswife69 @regalwhovianbrowncoat774 @marisemonteiroo @everythingiwanttoread @jjhayhay20 @nerdieforpedro @perennialdoll247 @casa-boiardi @joeldjarin @sscorpiiio @untamedheart81 @srmacaroni @violinchick @orcasoul @lucyeyelesbarrow @mandrillusphinx @loveisacowboyyy @suzmagine @disassociation-daydreams @anoverwhelmingdin @within-the-depths

#joel miller #joel miller tlou #joel miller fanfic #joel miller smut #joel miller the last of us #joel miller fluff #joel miller angst #joel miller x f!reader #joel miller x reader #joel miller x you #the last of us fic #pedro pascal characters #pedro pascal #pedro pascal joel miller #joel miller fic #five days series #jett's writing #jett's pedro boys

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infinitestarsdev · 3 months

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Devlog 2024-02-09 (Episode 4 - Part 1 is out NOW!)

It's Friday! And this is a special Friday because it's a RELEASE Friday!

That's right! Episode 4 - Part 1 is now live!

Update Edit: It's also a sad day for my family. I lost someone dear to me this morning, someone even dearer to my loved ones, and my heart is aching with them for our loss. I wish things weren't the way they are. I wish I could do more to ease their suffering.

Project Details:

167,666 words in total. (That's roughly the same length as the first two Harry Potter novels combined)

825 possible choices.

Patrons can get their version over here (win|mac|lin) or here (android), and everyone else can get the full game on Steam or Itchio!

Episode 4 - Part 1 continues the story after the dramatic conclusion from Episode 3.

It introduces several new characters, several new and redrawn backgrounds, several new portraits, several new music tracks, an overhauled story controller, a new free-roam mechanic, a new star system navigation interface, a lore gallery with unlockable entries, a system for players to load custom-made stories written by other players into the game, a seasonal event (Spooktober Heist), and nearly 40K additional words of content (some being intimate content for Kiaria, Lochem and Khalil).

It also includes two very special player portraits! Thanks to the amazing ladies from Wanderlust Games, you can now play your Mah'Abeu as a younger version of Damon or Ayame from Andromeda Six! (Seriously, if you're hearing about Andromeda Six for the first time– You're about to fall in love. Go check them out and support them if your wallet allows!)

We've been working extremely hard to bring this release to you, and while we've added a ton of new things, we would have loved to add more. Sadly, we had to draw a line in the sand and release what was available.

Some of the things that we could add before the deadline that were requested by our beta testers:

MC is more knowledgeable about the Cephilusk.

Added a location hint during free-roam sequences.

Made Kiaria more Kiaria when dealing with current events.

Your Mah'Abue now crafts the notice being sent to the crew.

Several more personality options (with more on their way)

Most free-roam scenes now have the crew members touching on or hinting at the current situation.

Fixed some logic bugs with Sonia's scene.

Adjusted Andreas' scene with an additional choice if he becomes too much.

Added some additional logic and checks to the response you can give when the crew/your LI asks about how you are coping. (Might still expand on this.)

Your Mah'Abue now has more control over how they handle Nikau.

Added Lindi's music track.

An additional intimate scene for Khalil

Some of the things that we couldn't add before the deadline that will be added very soon. (over the next week or three):

Implementing some more of the Beta Tester feedback requests.

The start of Tabitha's character arc.

A free-roam scene for Lebeny, along with an additional intimate scene.

Adding a semi-intimate, more risque scene with Matthias.

Adding additional character expressions to some of the free-roam content.

Additional music tracks where there is only silence.

Missing Lore Descriptions, replacing the WiP notice with actual content.

The new trailer for Episode 4.

Some of the things that we couldn't add before the deadline that will be added down the line. (more than a month from now)

Additional backgrounds and characters.

Continuing Episode 4, including the much-anticipated Matthias Elevator scene.

Additional Lore items to unlock.

More free-roam content, more character content (Reyna and more), more intimate scenes.

Character relationship arcs (and intimate scenes) for Raymond, Matthias, Veera and Tabitha as a prioity.

Character relationship arcs (and intimate scenes) for Cephilusk, Andreas and TBD a little further down the road.

As always, despite the hours and hours and heaps of financial resources poured into the project, Infinite Stars is still entirely free! If you like what we are doing and can afford to show your support, please consider joining one of our paid Patreon tiers!

Infinite Stars wouldn't be nearly as cool as it is without the support of our amazing Patrons who believe in us!

If you can't afford to support us, that's cool. We still love you, and having you enjoy our game fills our hearts with joy! If you like the game, share it with your friends or give us a positive review to help with the visibility algorithms.

Have a peaceful weekend, enjoy the release, and go hug one of your loved ones!

#visual novel #scifi #infinitestars #art #amwriting #space #vn #sciencefiction #choicesgame #gamedev #a6 #andromeda 6

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brittle-doughie · 6 months

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Off to Wish Camp! | A Look into CROB’s 7th Anniversary Update

Wait, has it really been 7 years holy shi-I’ve been around since Season 3, so to see the journey come this far feels nice. So let’s see what’s in store for us.

We’ve got a Star Candy Comet to see, something that only comes once every seven years! Will we get a part 2 to this event in 2030 lol? Not just that, but we’ve got a name for this lass, Cannoli Cookie! I like the fact that her sleeping bag is a roll cake.

Rest in peace, in peace to every single S’mores Cookie OC that people will now have to rework and rename.

I’m such a huge fan of the CGs they make. Yoga Cookie is E N L I G H T E N E D up there. Poison Mushroom sleeping again it seems, just don’t be spreading spores this time!

Hype. The Infinite Chests were top tier and I’m happy to see that a variant of them is returning for such a occasion!

As you guys know by now, I LOVE when there’s an event or mechanic that allows you to have interactions with your Cookies, so the fact that this is a thing and EVERY COOKIE is able to be met is so wonderful! Fans of everyone can be satisfied and no one is left out! Plus it might hits give me material to work with! ;)

At least it’s not a legendary magic candy and it drops in part two of the update.

It’s not really a fair contest for the other costumes since this one has a CG, but I don’t care, Cannoli’s SE outfit is the highlight for me. Currant’s and Butter Pretzel’s are sweet too, who knew Pretzel could rock blue so well! S’more Cookie will also be joining us for part two..too!

Oh right, there was something else that was posted before this. If there’s anything post worthy (I’m going to anyway lol), I’ll definitely post later about it! I don’t mind the new faces for now, but I’ll probably warm up to them eventually!

Let me tell you, this is definitely a step up from the…interesting events of the 6th anniversary. Seems like the Devs know what they’re doing for this one and I hope this means nothing but good stuff for the years ahead! I’ve had memories with this game, both good and crummy, but I could never drop it ultimately regardless. I’m too attached to this world, the stories told, the CUTENESS of it all. But what I treasure most were the characters, the Cookies…

…and I’m sure the Cookies treasure you as well.

All the times you’ve had fun with them, all the times you’ve ran with them, all the gifts you gave them, the care you have for them…they have nothing but you to thank for.

The Cookies care about you, Baker….

They always have!

#cookie run #cookie run ovenbreak #crob #cr ovenbreak #cookie run update #cookie run: tower of adventure #cookie run x reader #cr x reader #cookie run x you

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see-arcane · 10 months

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Kudos to Jonny Sims for flexing his acting range. He’s gone from an English horror genre Jon whose whole deal is Infinite Monologuing to an English horror genre Jo(h)n who delivers 0.0005 seconds to update his diary with ‘Renfield got a bird.’ 6/5 stars

#me putting on my clown nose: ‘Maybe THIS time the entries I know are super short will magically be bigger!’#dracula #re: dracula #dracula daily #jonny sims #jack seward #r.m. renfield

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520cafe · 9 months

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sour grapes. trip down memory lane

it was already quite late into the day, around 11:01pm. as the ablaze sun falls asleep, the light-toned crescent moon gleamed amongst the blanket of infinite stars, casting shadows on the evening pavement to safely guide pedestrians back to their cosy homes. the streets felt rather isolating and lonely but, it was not suffocating either as you were not walking alone.

“seriously? kafka made you do that?” you asked blade in between your laughs as he walked beside you under the dimly lit street towards your apartment.

“yes, and she still owes me one for this.” he sighed, slightly cringing from the memory replaying in his head like a broken record. however, once he looked at your amused reaction, it appears that the broken record was fixed by the sight of your smile and laughter. “do you really enjoy seeing me like this?” he could not help but to tease.

“hey i never said that!” you lightly smacked him, as if you were as close to him as as you were last year. “it’s just nice seeing you with your people now, you look like you’re having fun these days.” it sounded genuine and sincere; your heart was pounding loudly and you were worried if blade could hear it.

during the time when you and blade were close, you two shared one thing in common: a heartbreak and a misfortune. this is exactly why you felt relieved and happy listening to blade talk about the shenanigans him and his friends get into. for a moment, you eyes looked dear and affectionate towards him.

“i could say the same about you, it’s nice seeing you again.” there was a slight hesitation in blade’s voice. he let out a gulp, even he was not aware of what he was nervous about. is there something else that he’s missing from the story?

blade suddenly halted in his tracks, you turn around and looked back at him in confusion before he gave you a lazy smile. “my dorm is in the other building. i’ll see you tomorrow.”

you watched as he slowly disappeared from your sight, his broad back being the only thing that was facing you. once you ensured that he entered the building, you did the same with a small contented and excited feeling swirling in your chest.

🍇 SOUR GRAPES 〈 08 trip down memory lane

━━ MASTERLIST. ╱ PREV. ╱ NEXT.

╰► SYNOPSIS. after being in the same tight-knit friend group for over a few months now, suspicions begin to rise when march, seele and bronya start to notice the awkward tensions between you and dan heng. little did they know, you and dan heng were once high-school sweethearts who shared a romantic and fairytale-like past where the pages only lasted for a year. this heartbreak led you to meet another unfortunate victim of cupid but that chapter flew away as quick as stardust. yet, it appears that you two were also destined to cross paths once more.

╰► [ a/n ] : updates for sour grapes are now gonna be once a week every saturdays! also tysm for 200 followers holy shit everything is happening so fast but i’m so grateful tyty 🫶 i also like to clarify again that the taglist is closed so apologises for that </3

━━ TAGLIST. @lauvwar-r @sunsethw4 @shizu-c @amyena @zephestia @loudeggbananaranch @lunavixia @twistedrxses @shinjuuz @danhenglovebot @flos-veritatis @sammy-hammy @kiwidoves @aeongiies @heartswonder @lilactaro @lunnaeclipse @m1lley0ns @hansel-the-pierrot @astro-pioneer @aquatikk @obervation-subject-753 @vellichxrr6782 @rubberduckieyourtheone @viovya @stayriki @ceylestia @starryeyedkoko @theflameofyoursoul @kalims @liminalimmortal

#🍇 ━━ SOUR GRAPES !#honkai star rail x reader #hsr x reader #hsr dan heng #dan heng x reader #hsr blade #blade x reader #honkai star rail smau #hsr smau #honkai star rail fanfic #hsr fanfic #hsr x y/n #hsr x you #honkai star rail x you #honkai star rail x gender neutral reader

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panda-escapades · 9 months

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There was a bunch of Easter Eggs and references in the last episode of My Adventures with Superman, Kiss Kiss Fall in Portal. I've gone over most of them on this post, but there was just one moment that had so many that I was unsure of that I wanted to do it's own post so if more people get the references that can be discovered.

I'm not sure if these are supposed to be references/easter eggs or just set dressing, but I'm gonna try to figure it out. It very much pushes that button of hey these seem familiar. Here are my thoughts and guesses on these items, if you know or have something that seems close let me know and I'll update it.

1) 2) 3) 4) Possibly the noisy cricket from Men in Black. This one is hard as there are so many small guns like it. It might be a ray gun of some kind as well. 5) 6) Maybe Fatherbox 7) 8) 9) Thank you @sieglindegrimm for idenitifying this as Homura Akemi's shield from Puella Magi Madoka Magica 10) 11) Thank you @boisonbapple for mentioning the pepper grinder from Alice: Madness Returns as a possibility 12) 13) 14) 15) Possibly referencing Amethyst's upgraded whip weapon from Steven Universe 16) Possibility one of Kyoshi's Fans from Avatar the Last Air Bender, but its also very generic. 17) Gut's sword from Beserk 18) The Sky-Hook from Bioshock Infinite 19) Seems like the Wabbajack staff from Skyrim 20) 21) 22) 23) Sakura's first Sealing Wand from Cardcaptors, though it has dome differences in the details. 24) 25) 26) I think it's a stretch but it might be the Shooting Star broom from Little Witch Academia. But I suspect its some kind of staff from somewhere else. 27) 28)

#My Adventures with Superman #MAwS #Easter Egg #Beserk #Kiss Kiss Fall in Portal #Fatherbox #steven universe amethyst #Bioshock Infinite #Skyrim #Cardcaptors #Little Witch Academia #madoka magica #alice: madness returns

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maplecornia · 8 months

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chapter 75

infinite stars masterlist | BTS masterlist | masterlist | playlist

𝔴𝔬𝔯𝔡 𝔠𝔬𝔲𝔫𝔱: 3.3K

𝔭𝔞𝔦𝔯𝔦𝔫𝔤: bts x female!reader

𝔤𝔢𝔫𝔯𝔢: romance | slice of life | fluff | angst

𝔰𝔲𝔪𝔪𝔞𝔯𝔶: if you were my destiny, then I'd be willing to believe in anything.

You were six years old the first time you ever stood on a stage.

You had been stuffed into a tight elastic outfit made entirely of spandex, your legs covered by the sheer fabric of your tights. Your hair had been sprayed with an array of multiple different chemicals so much so that it was hard for you to breathe comfortably. Your face was heavy with makeup that itched your skin and urged you to rub it off the moment it was applied, your shoes a few inches too wide. You were uncomfortable, anxious, and perturbed. Everything was so crowded and noisy, and all you wanted was to get out of the suffocating environment and back to the safety of your mother's arms.

But as soon as you stood on that stage, everything changed.

It was as though a flame had sparked deep within your tiny chest, and the world had turned into a paradise of your own creation. The spotlight was hot on your skin, but the crowd was dazzling and bright as you began to dance amongst the stars.

It was a small crowd, and your performance was far from perfect. Your dressing room was dark and dingy, and could barely fit five girls at a time. Your costume smelled of cheap detergent and your makeup was peeling off from the sweat that gathered in the heat of the spotlight.

And yet, at that moment, nothing else could have been more beautiful.

For that one singular second where you were able to perform, took up an infinite number of seconds afterward, where you began to move towards your dream.

Dancing tenaciously for hours upon hours until your muscles could no longer sustain you. Singing until your throat grew hoarse and tired. Skipping out on meals and sleep if that meant you would have more time to train to work towards a fantasy that seemed so far out of your reach. Day after day. Night after night. All so that you could make your way back to that stage.

And you were good at what you did.

The crowds loved you at every talent show, you were praised after every pageant and recital, told you were talented at every choral function and competition.

But it wasn't enough.

No matter how hard you worked, how many times you auditioned, or how many sleepless nights you wasted away in the practice room, it was never enough.

You were never enough.

Their praise became bitter, the joy began to die out, and soon enough the stage had become a distant dream of yours, one that you had to let go.

But if you were honest, it never really left.

In your fantasy, the crowd's cheers became a part of your symphony, begging to hear more, to see more, to never let it end. With every being you reached with your voice, a new world blossomed, one that you were able to inspire and watch grow just as you had once before. With each beat you grew closer to the sky, and in each note you found another star to decorate the abyss you found before you. Your heart longed to make those dreams into a reality, and soon you realized that though you had tried to forget, as time passed, your desire had only grown.

You needed the stage almost as much as you needed the very air to breathe.

Now, you should be happy.

You're so close, your dream is only mere moments away, and if you looked deep inside yourself you can find that your inner child is beaming. Her feet already dancing in excitement at the sight of the stage pristine and welcoming before you, the crowd outside chanting and roaring in anticipation. She whispers to you that this is the moment, this is what you've worked so hard for, the dream is so close and that stage is the key to unlocking it.

You should be happy.

So why does it feel like chains are beginning to tighten around your wrists? Why does your heart feel heavy?

It makes you wonder, is it all worth it?

Will you still want it after it's their turn to tear you apart?

"You're going to do great."

You start a bit at the sound of Hoseok's voice right beside you and roll your eyes as he chuckles at your reaction. As he looks at you, you can't help but notice he looks so calm, almost at home in this environment. You can tell that he was born to be on the stage, that it is when he is the happiest.

It's almost humbling to think that soon, you will be able to stand beside him, and perform on the same stage he once did, the same crowd that once cheered for him, cheering for you in his place.

“You know this by heart." Though you smile his way, Hoseok can feel the nerves that tightly bind you in anxiety, the look in your eyes somewhat dark and distant. "If Taehyung falters, all you have to do is lead him and he’ll follow you. He’s a great performer.”

Your current condition cannot help but worry him as he looks deep into your eyes, trying his best to unlock whatever hidden secrets you keep safely away inside. And though he tries to reassure you, he recognizes that this is not like all the times before. He doesn't know you like he thought he did, he wonders if he ever really knew you at all.

But maybe, it is not him that you need.

Maybe it's always been someone else.

And as you look away, he wonders if that is who you search for each time you're lost in the unforgiving waste of your mind. He wonders if he is the water you seek, the air that you breathe, the oasis amidst an otherwise painful abyss. And though, at this moment, Hoseok may smile, he does not know why his heart is heavy, nor why he has begun to feel afraid. So when he places his finger beneath your chin, turning your face so that it only looks at him, he wonders if his fear was simply that one day you may fade away.

As though you were a mirage only meant to momentarily ease his aching heart.

"Hey."

In his eyes, you find comfort and pride. They are full of a million different words he wishes he could say but was never able to. So he says them all now, through the look in his eyes, the warmth of his finger beneath your chin, the smile he wears exuberantly; his heart on the line.

When he speaks, his words are simple and sincere just as he has always been and will continue to be. Constant and steady, an unwavering breeze in an otherwise stormy sea.

"He won't let you down."

And as he looks at you, you can tell that he's not talking about the stage or the performance. He is talking about your feelings, your true desire now that you have found the one thing…the one person, who was able to complete your new world.

The realization setting in, your eyes widen, and you shake your head; quick to deny what he already undoubtedly knows.

"Hobi, I--"

"Just don't worry, okay?" You're silenced by his words, something in the way he smiles making you wonder why he seems so sad. And though you long to reach out and erase it, you can’t help but feel it would only make it worse, make it harder for him to let go. "Even if you don’t believe, everyone else does. You were made for this Yen, I can see it in your eyes even now.”

His hands reach for yours and when you squeeze them tightly, tears build up in the back of your throat, as you realize he's been looking out for you all this time. Even now, he's trying to reassure you that everything will be okay. Begging you to trust him, to trust them to take care of everything.

He knows that the time when you will have to stand on your own is coming, but he also knows that time is not now. So until he has to say goodbye to you forever, he will be the ground you stand on, the support you need to fly.

“From the very beginning, I’ve been betting on you.”

Although you've never asked for it, you've always had it.

You wonder if there will ever be words enough to express how thankful you are, and perhaps that question will never be answered, but at least you can rest easy knowing that when you wrap your arms around Hoseok, he knows all you could have possibly hoped to say. It surprises him at first, but he returns it gladly, his arms warm and safe. He smells like home and healing, and you find yourself wanting to grasp onto every piece of him before you have to let him go.

“Thank you.”

Across the room, Taehyung watches as the two of you part. He sees the smile on Jhope's face and the tears that still sparkle in your eyes. Seeing the ease with which the two of you hold the other, the way you look so perfect together, makes him wonder if there was ever any room for him in your world.

Hoseok glances at him and can see the doubt clear on Taehyung's face. An unsteadiness that he had never worn before, not even with the most serious of his romances. He can tell that the way he feels this time is something deeper, something different, something that he won't let slip away so easily.

At the thought, Hoseok can't help but smile. For how could two people so clearly made for the other find themselves so close, and yet so far away?

You will be okay.

As Jhope picks your hand up and presses his lips against your skin, he knows this fact to be true. Almost as true as the fact that you never needed him, not really. Even before they knew you, you had stood strong enough on your own. And yet, as he looks up at your wide eyes, he can't help but feel as though you had saved each other.

In more ways than one.

The stage darkens to prepare for his performance and he pulls away, giving you one last look at his gorgeous smile before running back to the stage.

All he can really hope now is that you find the one your heart calls.

And that he answers it with the love and care that you deserve.

When the spotlight warms his face, and the cheers nearly overwhelm the backtrack, you are left speechless at how beautiful he is. How even alone, he fills the stage, and the entire stadium with his persona, his light. It's dazzling, and you can't help but wonder if one day you'll be given the chance to shine as bright.

"Will I be enough?"

"You already are."

At his voice beside you jump, clamping your hands across your lips as though they had betrayed you. Taehyung smiles as you chastise yourself, his heart blooming as it had millions of times before, only this time he is able to put a name to the feeling. As you look up at him with those eyes, he knows he cannot wait a second longer, and perhaps he had waited for too long already. Perhaps the two of you had been so lost within your fantasy that you had forgotten reality was created to tear you apart.

But what is reality, what is fate, if it was not meant to be defied?

Taehyung's hand wraps around yours, and though it catches you off guard, it does not feel out of place. After all, he has held your hand countless times before, and if you were truly honest, you wish he would hold it for countless more.

Is that foolish?

He pulls you to the side of the stage, behind a couple of curtains where he can speak to you privately. A secret space where the two of you can coexist in the world you had already begun to create together without anyone else coming in to destroy it.

At first, the urgency startles you. The way he’s looking into your eyes driving a strange type of fear into your heart. He's looked at you many times before, but this time it's different, almost clouded. You don't want to try and pick it apart, for what if once you do, it is not something you want to see?

And what if it is?

What if it is everything you've ever wanted?

Somehow that thought is scarier than the first.

"Tae, what are you--"

"I love you."

The phrase shakes you to the core, and you wonder if you misheard him.

But then you see his sincerity.

Is this real?

“W-what?”

His eyes are full of a mixture of emotions, too many to name and too many to count, but all of them mix together to create a galaxy of stars.

Stars that were created because of you.

“I know I’m selfish and I know that being with me would only hurt you, believe me, I know, but I..." They shine bright as he looks at you, and you wonder if this is what it means to be someone's entire world. He's always been yours, but you hadn't realized till now just how much of a mark you had made, you had never dreamed it to be possible. "Ever since the first moment I met you, I couldn’t get you out of my head.”

"Taehyung..." You whisper his name, finding that it is the only thing you can say, your heart beating too fast and too loud for you to make much sense of anything else other than the fact that he loves you.

Taehyung looks at you, and he wonders if it's okay to hope that you could possibly feel the same way he does. He wonders if one day you will trust him enough to give him the key to your heart, as his already lies welcome at your feet.

“I've never believed in destiny before until I met you."

The dark is no longer so dark, the colors are no longer dull, and the world begins to sing its own song in your soul. When he looks at you, you feel complete. The notes to your melody have been found, and he chases away every fear and doubt with one look your way.

"Things just never made sense before, you know? Every coincidence, every moment we spent together, it was as though some string was drawing us closer and closer together. As though we were meant to meet, as though we were made for each other, and the only thing that was stopping us before was…distance."

Taehyung wonders how there was ever a time when he could survive without you near. He wonders how he was able to be okay without you in his life. The thought scares him. If this is how it feels to love you, he can't help but wonder how it would feel if he were to ever lose you.

"I don’t want the distance anymore. I want you beside me, I want to be with you all the time, I want to hold your hand, I want to touch your heart, I want to keep you close…”

He takes your hands gingerly into his own, before raising them and kissing them softly. His eyelashes brush against your skin, but his lips are soft and warm, his eyes tentative and filled to the brim with hope as he looks at you.

“Now that we’ve met, I want everything, but most of all…"

You never thought anyone could be perfect, and you know that he is far from it, but when he looks at you that way, when he holds you safely within your arms, you cannot help but think he is perfect for you. That the two of you were made to find each other just as he said. The missing piece you had been searching for but never thought you would find.

"I want to be yours.”

He found you.

Or perhaps you found each other.

When times were most dark, and you were suffocating from the pain, you reached out and felt him wrap his arms around you. You found that you needed him, but you never would have guessed he needed you just as badly. That your heart was made for him as much as his was already bleeding for yours. That he had given you the key to it before you even dared to ask, and had begun making your mark on his world just as he had been slowly walking into yours.

I don't want the distance anymore.

“With you here, everything makes sense."

Is it okay to feel this joy? Is it okay for you to just give in? To lay your key at his mercy and open your heart to be hurt again?

For him...would all that pain be worth it?

"It’s like you filled a hole that I didn’t realize I had been missing. Without you, I’m lost…and I don’t want to be lost anymore." Taehyung takes your hand and presses it against his chest, so you can feel what he feels. Marking your touch on his heart and baring his soul before you as his beats fast and wild beneath your fingertips. "So maybe destiny doesn’t exist, and maybe fate isn’t real, but if my destiny is you, then I would be ready to believe anything.”

Yes, you're scared. Everything could fall apart just because you fell in love with him. Your dreams could be tattered, your future could crumble at his feet, all because you wanted to be his. You saw what happened when your mother ventured too far into their world, how quickly she was torn apart because she dared to feel. Every reason tells you that the risk is not worth it.

Is there reason enough to stay away?

Your heart beats only for him. Your breath is his to take as he pleases. Your skin itches for his touch each time he is near. You no longer want to admire him from a distance. You don't want to continue to be stagnant where he is always close but never close enough. You don't want to feel incomplete.

Your world already belongs to him.

Is it too much to give in?

“You don't have to answer now, but I’ll wait for you, no matter how long it takes."

Before you can say anything, you hear the staff calling for you as your turn to perform draws near. Only then does Taehyung pull away from you, the space between you once more broken. You want to say something, anything, to let him know that he's already embedded himself deep into your heart; but you find that fear holds you back.

You want so badly to let him in, but what if you get hurt again?

Would you ever be able to recover?

Perhaps he sensed your doubt, perhaps he caught the despair in your eyes at the thought of letting you go, or perhaps he merely wanted to hold you one last time. Regardless of the reason, he reaches forward, taking your cheeks into his careful touch, and pressing his lips against your forehead in an intimate gesture that sends your heart racing.

"If it’s too hard, then I’ll let you go." He whispers against your skin, and you find yourself leaning into him, your hands resting against his chest as he pulls you close. "I just had to let you know, at least once before it was too late.”

With that, he pulls away, releasing you with a smile. He turns from your hiding space and follows the staff who rush him to the opposite side of the stage, while you stay where he left you, frozen. You are faintly aware of staff members taking you by the arm and doing some finishing touches to your outfit as they prepare you for your entrance on the sidelines, but it is a minor fact. For when you meet his eyes across the stage nothing else seems to matter anymore. He smiles at you, the galaxy hidden in his irises so clear, even from so far away.

Could it be possible?

Could the moon find a way to love the sun?

Or is this an eclipse that will soon pass?

chapter 76 here

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milesluna · 4 months

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My Favorite Games of 2023.

Hi. Hello. Thanks ever so much for clicking on this page. Happy to have you.

First thing's first: I'm a little freak when it comes to video games. I don't feel the need to beat most games I play. From Software is one of my favorite studios in the industry and I've never finished a single one of their games. This means, fortunately, that I get to play a LOT more games than the average bear.

I've written up some blurbs about my top ten favorite games from 2023, but before that here's the list of every game I remember playing this year that left any sort of lasting impact on me (in no particular order):

Dead Space Remake Resident Evil 4 Remake F-Zero 99 Humanity Dredge Metroid Prime Remastered Anemoiaplois Alan Wake 2 Baldur’s Gate 3 LoZ Tears of the Kingdom Counter Strike 2 Hunt Showdown El Paso Elsewhere Jusant Slay the Princess| Remnant II The Finals Street FIghter 6 Lethal Company BattleBit Remastered Don’t Scream Homebody The Murder of Sonic the Hedgehog Pizza Tower World of Horror Super Mario Wonder Mr. Sun’s Hatbox Fifa 23 Sea of Stars (Demo) Half-Life (25th Anniversary Update)

And the games I played that were NOT released in 2023:

Unpacking Persona 4 Golden Picross 7 The Order 1886 Shovel Knight Dig Lost Planet: Extreme Condition Spider-Man: Miles Morales Pac-Man Championship Edition DX Project Zomboid Quake LoZ The Minish Cap Drill Dozer Wario Land 4 Pokemon Pinball Resident Evil Revelations Summer of ‘58 Trackmania TwinCop We Were Here Visage Cursed Halo CE Half-Life 2 (I probably play this once per year) Witch Hunt Red Dead Redemption 2 Cyberpunk 2077 Borderlands 3 Brutal Legend Cultic Slay the Spire PUBG Rez Infinite Batman Arkham City Alan Wake Alan Wake: American Nightmare Max Payne LoZ: Majora’s Mask 3DS Metroid Prime Metroid Prime 2 Tunic Everhood Final Fantasy VII Final Fantasy VII Remake GOODBYE WORLD Yakuza: Like a Dragon Critters for Sale Dome Keeper Phasmophobia Hades Nintendo Switch Sports

Now that you understand the kind of freak you're dealing with…

Let's dive into my top ten favorite games from this objectively fucked up year.

10. El Paso Elsewhere Developed by Texas indie studio Strange Scaffold, El Paso Elsewhere is a Max Payne-clone with vampires, an opinionated narrator, and lots and lots of bullet time. As a small studio punching well above their weight class, Strange Scaffold leans into abstract, PlayStation 1 minimalism when it comes to visuals and pairs them with a soundtrack that will make your hands sweat. The vibes are here and they're ready for the end of the world. I'm personally also a big fan of everything this studio stands for.

9. Mr. Sun's Hatbox I want you to imagine Metal Gear Solid V. Now I want you to imagine that game as a 2D, level-based, slapstick platformer you can play with up to three friends. If you think that sounds stupid, you'd be right. And it's beautiful. As you build up a secret army of soldiers with various skills (and disorders), you'll start to develop *favorites*. This game constantly asks if you're willing to send those favorites on a harrowing mission and risk losing them forever… or if you'd rather send an idiot you recently captured who blinks constantly and can't kill anyone without fainting.

8. Dredge Every year I feel like I find one game that falls into the “just one more round” category, and baby… Dredge was it for 2023. As a weary fisherman in strange waters, you'll make the most out of your 12 measly hours of sunlight only for your daily voyages to inevitably pull you into the darkness of night, and night is when things get weird. Rocks emerge from the fog that you swear weren't there before, your equipment malfunctions, and you're pretty sure you just saw something in the water… something big. Despite only containing a small collection of islands, the world of Dredge manages to feel vast - perhaps vast enough to swallow you whole.

7. Resident Evil 4 Remake I was curious to see what sort of changes would be made to the timeless classic and father of modern 3rd person shooters, Resident Evil 4. I wasn't let down. RE4 Remake takes all the things that didn't age well about the original, tossed them out, and replaced them with only good things. And MORE things! It's campy, fun, and better than a game of bingo.

6. Jusant I really feel like this one didn't get the recognition it deserves. Jusant is a rock climbing game that combines the quiet contemplation of Journey with the mechanical specificity of Death Stranding. Unlike Death Standing, though, there is very little story to interrupt your flow. There are plenty of collectible bits to find for those curious to learn more about what happened before the events of the game, but the environmental storytelling does most of the heavy lifting. For me, the joy of the game comes from how it feels. Right trigger controls your right hand grip, and left trigger controls left hand grip. Plan your route, manage your stamina, and climb high above the clouds in search of answers.

5. F-Zero 99 This. Shit. Slaps. I've never been a big F-Zero guy, but this MADE me one. The “battle royale”, 99 player format is the perfect fit for the ruthless, high octane world of the game. Races last about three minutes, and friend, they are the most intense, white-knuckled three minutes of your life. The decision to make your boost meter the same as your health meter started in F-Zero 64 (I believe), and it is so much more HARROWING in this game when another player could side-swipe you mere meters from the finish line and blow you to bits. Sadly it's only playable via Switch Online, but it made me cheer, laugh, and scream enough this year to earn a spot in my top 5.

4. Alan Wake 2 Remedy makes weird games that also manage to exist in the AAA space and for that I will forever love them. Although Alan Wake 2 resembles a 3rd person shooter survival horror, I'd honestly say it's more of a narrative game than anything else. There's sidequests, there's puzzles, there's upgradeable skills, but at the end of the day the characters, world, and story are what kept me playing. If you haven't checked them out recently, you should definitely watch a story recap of the original games before diving into this sequel, but the wild swings for the fences this game takes are well worth that small price of admission. There's a god damn musical number, for Christ's sake.

3. The Legend of Zelda: Tears of the Kingdom I've really got nothing to say about this game that most people don't already know. It's incredible. The fact that Nintendo made a game that redefined an entire genre and then made a SEQUEL to it that ups the ante is remarkable. To be honest, I've only cleared the Rito, Zora, and Goron cities. I got a bit tired of exploring the depths and guiding Koroks to their friends, but I can't deny the sheer level of complexity and polish on display here. I saw someone on TikTok build a functioning Mecha Godzilla in this game. Good God. I've heard that the ending of this game is one of the best in the franchise, and if I'd seen it this year then it may have wound up higher on my list, but for the time being I'll continue picking up this masterpiece from time to time, chipping away at it until the day comes that I can finally smack the tits off thicc Ganondorf.

2. Half-Life (25th Anniversary Update) I know I'm gonna get shit for this, but I don't care. This year was the 25th anniversary of Half-Life and Valve released an update that made playing it (and it's online Death Match) much more accessible. I threw it on my Steam Deck out of curiosity, expecting to play for 20 minutes. I could not put it down. It is unbelievable how modern this game still feels. I simply had so much fun sprinting through the corridors of Black Mesa with a dozen weapons strapped to my back, blasting aliens and military Spec-Op chumps as a 24(?!) year old theoretical physicist.

1. Baldur's Gate III This game is fucked up, man. The sheer amount of writing in this game scares me. We can all talk about how BIG this game is, it deserves it, but the thing BG3 does better than any other role playing game I have ever experienced is actually encourage roleplaying. I've played through Act I four times now, with four different groups of friends, and it has felt fresh every time. I have seen the same events play out in so many different ways that it boggles the mind, but in every one of those play sessions I see players asking themselves “What would my lil guy do here?” rather than "what is the best thing to do here?" The game rewards players constantly for just trying shit and the D&D 5e rule set means playing like the character you said you were from the start leads to frequent Points of Inspiration. Maybe one day I'll see the end of this story (probably not), but I don't have to in order to feel a connection with BG3's world, characters, and most impressively, the characters I made myself.

Honorable Mentions for 2023

5. Dave the Diver 4. Homebody 3. Sea of Stars 2. Humanity 1. Super Mario Wonder

Top 5 Favorites NOT from 2023

5. Metroid Prime 4. Final Fantasy VII Remake 3. Cursed Halo (Halo CE Mod) 2. Red Dead Redemption 2 1. Legend of Zelda: Majora's Mask (3DS)

Games I didn't have a chance to play from 2023 but still want to when I find more time...

Viewfinder Venba Chants of Sennaar Thirsty Suitors Hi-Fi Rush Moonring Armored Core VI Laika Aged Through Blood Bomb Rush Cyberfunk

OKAY THANKS BYE!

#video games #2023 #GOTY

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brandileigh2003 · 9 months

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Fic recs: (this is not exhaustive and I know I'm missing some that I loved)

All are wolfstar (mix of jily and jegulus) Complete unless marked. Check tags, some are dark or sad.

*My absolute favorite: Crimson rivers by bizarrestars aka zeppazariel - angsty hunger games au. Best remus and Sirius characterizations. Wolfstar is top notch. The friendships and black brother dynamics are all 💯

Hogwarts/magical

-The Standard Book Of Spells Series by imparfait connected fics and 1 shots, still wip: wolfstar is so in love, I want to melt multiple pov. no voldy.

-Would That I by third_crow (wip currently updating) soulmates, canon divergent, no voldy, autistic remus

-snakes and lions by her_smile_forges_galaxies (read tags though! Slytherin remus, platonic soulmate remus & regulus turns death eaters, angst with happy ending)

-just lovers by bizarrestars/Zeppazariel divergent fic, fake dating (wolfstar isn't main but they're heavily featured)

Au/modern/non-magical

-like real people do by third_crow (disability coffee shop)

–wolf's heart by mizdiz- heartbreaking. Meet in bookshop, Remus has heart problems, they fall in love, Remus tries to push him away to save pain of watching him die but Sirius won't let him.

– best friends brother bizarrestars/zeppazariel: has it all, jegulus as well, moonwater friendship, black brother dynamics

-wading in waist-high water by colgatebluemintygel- bake off fic where sirius is host and Remus is a disaster

– text talk by merliwhirls: great banter and flirting firming a solid connection through text before they meet in person.

-lessen my load by moonymoment (university, so sweet together)

-pb to my j by aqua_myosotis (texting fic, so cute together)

-my only sunshine by loua29xx- remus is sick and asks Sirius to help him die

-Berlin Angel by de_sire: Remus helps him really begin to live, asks the deep questions help him discover who he is. Sirius helps remus open up as well, sees his layers, thinks remus is Sirius' own sun

-Second Generation by MsAlexWP older wolfstar, single parents, getting back together. The sequel is so perfect too! It's a Nice Day for a Wolfstar Wedding

-An infinite ocean by orphan_account (raising teddy au, he has cf)

--Evolution is spelt with an R by de_sire: Remus never went to Hogwarts, saves Sirius and Sirius gets involved with pack by being healer

Other magical:

–Stealing Harry by copperbadge (wolfstar raising Harry)

–After the fire by Coriaria lie low at lupin's, a dark look at remus' past (check tags)

--good old-fashioned lover boy by all2well (both teachers at Hogwarts)

–that’s the art of getting by by sarewolf Remus raises Harry then Sirius lays low with them

exes, horcruxes, and other reasons to panic by lynxindisguise: divergent from 1st war, picks up 7 yrs later

-canon so far **shifting Lines by dovahtobi (wip currently updating)

-wip or maybe abandoned but good: Of Leaves and Stars (modern magical texting, trans remus and genderfluid sirius)

as well as Of Initials and Postscripts (Hogwarts era, remus is homeschooled and sirius is his penpal) both by irrationalmoony & LadyAmina

-Saccharine by moonymoment (au) Sirius is a ghost in remus' apartment

Authors in general

third_crow disability rep!

Peachyybabe he is great at portraying disability

Littleoldrachel disability and trans rep

her_smile_forges_galaxies

MsAlexWP

de_sire

moonymoment

MesserMoon

beautywolfstar

xinasvoice

Brigidfaye

Eyra

MollyMaryMarie

Check out my fandom wifey lucigoo

Some of my fandom friends moon_stars, raggedypond, beautywolfstar, and speckinthevoid

Other things I've re-read

-Did You Miss Me? By Fantismal, Krethes long text fic, angst and humor. Check tags

-An Interesting Grasp by TheBiButterfly: remus with tourettes, artist sirius, moonflower friendship, au

-Six Feet Apart by Belle_Lestrange101: pandemic fic, remus is high risk

-Living Like We're Renegades by orphan_account deaf/hoh remus and genderfluid cheerleader remus

--Forever Is a State of Mind by orphan_account (raising teddy, deaf remus)

-taste of honey by biremus: British bake off fic, each other's competition but ofc fall in love

-Let Them Eat Cake by OpeningMyEyes: another baking fic

-This Is the Way the World Ends by YouBlitheringIdiot: sad but beautiful MCD

--A Brief History of Dragons by eyra: nuerodivergent remus

-Choosing You by Cruisinwritealong: one shot, they're cute

-Heat and balance by eyra: beautifully depicted disability/illness fics, au

-from white-hot anticipation to cold-blooded fear and back again by drowsyanddazed: ravenclaw remus unimpressed by prank idea and they get close

-this is erosion by cruelrage: modern magical, texting at Hogwarts, remus homeschooled

-Engaged for 43 years by halfravenhalfclaw: sirius proposes at first sight at 11, follows til the afterlife (divergent)

-Befriending A Ravenclaw by kreestar: slow burn with pining. Remus is ravenclaw prefect

-ten reasons (to go to michigan) by greyeyedmonster18: falling in love au author remus, artist sirius raising Harry with regulus angst+ slow burn

-We’ll Make It Out Alive by wolfstar_addict417: texting fic with angst/fluff and disabled remus (au)

-summer you let your hair grow out: Sirius goes to remus instead of James'

-Boys Will Be Bugs by the_Infamous_Jack: Hogwarts era with trans remus

-sweater weather by lumosinlove: hockey fic they're so cute

-Highland Fling by picascribit: summer disability strangers to lovers (au)

-Dear Your Holiness by MollyMaryMarie check tags but some of the quotes still stick with me.

- Heavy In Your Arms by MollyMaryMarie: slytherin Sirius as padfoot finds injured ravenclaw remus and takes care of him

-everything's connected by mizdiz- magical realism, boarding school. Witty banter, alternating sarcastic and socially withdrawn/awkward remus and larger than life Sirius.

-we can be heroes series by YouBlitheringIdiot school years through the war. Divergent ending

-the sea is a good place to think of the future by peachyybabe first in series is happy/open ending. Love them reconnecting and how disability is written. Check tags. 2nd in series has mcd. But it's oh so good, broke my heart.

-As It Was by peachyybabe mix of fluff, angst and hurt/comfort

-Honey If I'm Not by BrigidFaye: divergent post war where remus left, jily lived, and wolfstar only reconnects years later by chance. (Also has a Sirius pov)

-casting moonshadows by moonsign Hogwarts era. Wip abandoned

-Of Memories and Milk Thievery by moonymoment older wolfstar, raising teddy, get back together

-Let's Play Pretend by MsAlexWP fake dating, single parents, remus and teddy are wonderful disasters

-The Horcrux Hunt by Keysie 1st war divergent main focus remus and Regulus friendship and working together. Funny and angsty.

- it's a new dawn by ilbaritz: Remus never went to Hogwarts and met everyone after school. Trans remus

-Tertiary Colors by krabapple mpreg 1st war divergent, potters live

Ofc feel free to check out mine:

Silence Between Us by brandileigh2003 a soft wolfstar falling in love, features Sirius dealing with anxiety, and remus who is deaf and has an adorable service dog.

I've made a themed list of trans remus fics too if you want to check out

#wolfstar #marauders #remus lupin #sirius black #jegulus #jily #fanfic #favorites #faves #recommendations #fanfiction #fic recs

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