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hisunshiine · 2 months

Text

—revelations under the moon

🌙 pairing: alpha!namjoon x omega!reader 🌙 au/genre: ABO au, fated mates au, angst, smut 🌙 series rating: M 🌙 wc: 9,468 🌙 series warnings: mentions of an off-screen character death (barely a character tbh), brief male masturbation, thoughts of 'cheating' (if they aren't true mates though..is it?), cursing, retelling of a fake historical fable that includes VERY brief mentions of murder and suicide as the consequence of a tragic hero's hubris explicit sexual content: biting, marking, knotting, semi-rough sex, unprotected sex, creampie, aftercare 🌙 an: wow, i did not think i would get this out in time, january was a rough month for me, but my grandpa just finished his last lung cancer treatment last week, and im trying to just balance all the stress of real life, but yeah, i think it's getting better. thank you to my beta readers, @downbad4yoongi @moonleeai and @peachiilovesot7 i appreciate all your help, whether you helped in december or in february, it is much appreciated, as always. you're the best hype squad. this is also my first ABO story, so if you hate it don't tell me. LOL 🌙 summary: "When crescent rises, we shall rise as one, Aligned with moonrise, our time has begun." Alpha-heir Namjoon and his long time sweetheart are thought to be the next pair to rule Highscrest, but when Duskfall is attacked, the heir makes a decision that changes the course of not only his and his girlfriend's destiny, but yours as well.

This story is part of the "New Year, New Me Love" @bangtanwritershq gift exchange, written for the lovely @colormepurplex2! Happy Valentine's Day!

🌒🌒🌒 Tuesday - Waxing Gibbous

The loud chatter of the crowd irritates you; your senses are on overdrive after the past two weeks you’ve had. Packing and moving everything you own across the river during the New Moon was unexpected—almost as unexpected of it being a result of a peace treaty signed by the Beta of your old pack after the death of Alpha Tyvrin.

A Beta jostles you in an attempt to move closer to the raised platform at the far end of the civic center, and you shoot him a quick glare before turning your attention back to the men on stage to avoid any drama. An Omega glaring at a Beta isn’t as bad as if it was an Alpha, but insubordinate enough still. The new tribe members do not know your previous role in Duskfall and have every right to challenge any hierarchical disrespect.

“Quiet, please,” a voice rumbles quietly, but everyone in the room follows the directive. You recognize the Alpha Father, or the father of the Alpha-Heir and most recent Pack Alpha of Highcrest, at the podium. Your irritation drops as your senses can finally focus now that the room is silent. The smells of so many new pack members still suffocates your olfactory system, but it’s bearable now. One scent seems to overpower the rest, a clean forestry smell that seems to dilute the others. “Good evening, and thank you all for coming tonight. We hope you all have been acclimating to the changes these past few weeks. If you have any concerns, please reach out to any of us here.”

The Alpha Father waves over his son, stepping aside to let him take the lead of the rest of the meeting. Your eyes drink in the lithe movements highlighted by the fit of his suit. “Thank you, Alpha Father. For those of you who are joining us from Duskfall, at the time of the New Moon three months prior, I began the ascension steps. Right before your arrival, I had just finished the last of the three trials. All that remains is the bonding.”

You look around the room to see if anyone else is having the same reaction to his voice as you are—the crowd is transfixed; all attention is on the Alpha Heir Kim Namjoon. He’s young, almost thirty, but commands the stage. It’s not just because he’s handsome, though the blue suit and his dark brown hair help. His aura oozes from afar, your inner wolf screaming at you that this is a man you would follow and it’s your turn to receive a dirty look as you bump into the person in front of you. You turn back to the stage, ears attuning to his baritone as he continues.

“—final ceremony will take place in three days, and as you all know, I will be selecting my mate. I know that there are many newcomers who may be wary of joining the pack with all of these changes happening so soon, but please have faith in us. Highcrest will protect you all, and we will be at full strength as soon as the full moon rises in a week.”

Some applause breaks out, and his confidence soothes the wolf inside you that worries about this treaty. Highcrest sits on the eastern side of the Twin Rivers split, atop the range that leads to Twin Falls. Your previous pack, Duskfall, was integrated into Highcrest two weeks ago after Shadowhide attacked and killed Alpha Tyvrin under the cover of the New Moon, in a successful attempt at taking the land between the two streams.

The fertile soil and access to the freshwater source has been a source of contention between Duskfall and Shadowhide for decades, and while a group consisting of the Alpha, Beta and his best warriors patrolled your western border, Shadowhide attacked. The Beta and a few others escaped by the grace of the moon, which gave the pack enough warning to prepare and kept Shadowhide at bay now that the act of surprise was gone. With the Alpha slain and the clock ticking before Shadowhide invaded, the Beta had no choice but to reach out to Highcrest for help. A peace treaty was signed, allowing all pack members of Duskfall to join Highcrest in exchange for their commitment to the pack. Any members who were against the treaty were allowed to leave of their own volition and go back to the main city, or find a pack of their choosing, but with the danger of Shadowhide’s takeover imminent, everyone agreed to travel east across the river and up the mountain range to the safety of Highcrest.

“Thank you to all of Duskfall’s former pack for all of your patience with us as we’ve worked to create a space for all of you here in Highcrest. After the ceremony, which is open to all unmated Omegas, everyone from Duskfall will officially be of Highcrest, and those who have not yet finished their commitment rites can do so at that time.”

You watch as Kim Namjoon waves over a tall, slender woman with sleek hair falling down her back. She is the picture of elegance, her walk stalking forward in a hypnotic fashion as she steps beside the Alpha-Heir and speaks to the crowd. You recognize her from the Apothecary you’ve been training in ever since you’ve settled into your new life here.

“Good evening, everyone. I’m Min Everlight, an Omega of pack Highcrest. I am the head healer for the pack, and if Alpha Namjoon is ever unavailable, please come see me down at the Apothecary. I’ll help in whatever capacity I can in his absence.” Her hand moves almost subconsciously towards his, and they intertwine fingers. “We have committed our lives to this pack, and all of us up here will do our best to provide for Highcrest. Please stop by the apothecary this week if you haven’t yet received the Aconite to remove your Duskfall markings in preparation for your Highcrest one.”

Everlight stays linked to Namjoon as he takes a slight step forward to end the meeting.

“When the crescent rises,” he begins, and the people around you intone their response.

“We, too, shall rise.”

Walking under the waxing gibbous, you and your Beta roommate, Sana, wave goodbye to one of your elderly neighbors. You’ve been checking on all of the members of your old pack, helping them in any way you can to get them acclimated after work. You go home tired every night, but you want to make sure this merger works.

Sana skips ahead as your new home comes into sight, singing the Alpha-Heir’s praises. “He’s so brilliant, I promise you this is the best thing that could’ve happened to us. And Min Everlight? She’s amazing, right? You’ve been working under her these past couple of weeks, isn’t she effervescent?”

You laugh at her excitement, answering her vaguely as you unlock the door to your shared home. “She knows her stuff, that’s for sure. I’ve learned a few new things already since we’ve been here, but most of it I already knew.” Sana dreamily wanders to her bedroom, ignoring your slight diss and chattering mostly to herself about how wonderful tribe Highcrest is. You plop onto the couch unceremoniously, thoughts on Min Everlight.

Everlight is effervescent, with an inner glow that makes her the perfect Omega as mate for the Alpha-Heir. You’ve heard from the other women at the Apothecary that she and Namjoon have been dating for years. Longtime sweethearts and—if their little show on stage meant anything—his choice for his mate. This thought makes you feel sick, because ever since you walked away from Duskfall and followed him to Highcrest, your heart has thrummed for him.

Taking a deep breath that you let out with a sigh, you change your line of thinking before you venture towards a vitriol hatred of your soon-to-be female leader. Min Everlight has been nothing but motherly and nurturing to all of you since your arrival, but the more you see her all over the Alpha-Heir, the harder it is to like her. Not just because of her romantic relationship with Namjoon, either, but that she represents everything that you almost were, and reminds you of everything you lost.

You scratch at your upper arm over your shirtsleeve, where the Aconite serum you rubbed on earlier dissolves your Duskfall tattoo in preparation for your Highcrest one. The Aconite is diluted and mixed with other herbs to prevent poisoning that would weaken you before the ceremony. Sana disappears into the shared bathroom to shower, and you close your eyes for a moment not meaning to fall asleep as you wait for your turn.

The moon goddess blesses you with dreams of Duskfall past, memories of your destined path as the tribe’s Luna-to-be—the Omega paired to the now fallen Alpha Tyvrin—and you wake to the reality that all you have trained for was for naught.

🌓🌓🌓 Wednesday - Waxing Gibbous

Or, more like you wake with the sudden slam of a door, sitting upright as you squint to keep back the sunlight.

“Damn, you slept on the couch?” Sana questions, looking cheery and well-rested.

You clear your throat to answer. “Yeah, I guess so. What time is it?”

Sana glances at her watch. “Um, it’s half past eight.”

“Shit, I overslept, and I’m supposed to meet with Everlight again today.” You stand abruptly, and begin organizing all of the large pillows on the couch, laying the blanket just so until you hear Sana laughing at you. You look up at her with a glare. “What?”

“I think you might be in pre-heat. You’ve fluffed that pillow at least three times, and that blanket cannot be folded over the back of the couch any more perfectly unless you’ve got a protractor in the cabinet.”

“There’s no way, it hasn’t been enough time since the last one.” You ignore her as you clamber back onto the couch, tucking your legs up under you seemingly forgetting your plans for the day.

“Your heat is probably gearing up because of some Alpha at the meeting last night. With Tyvrin gone, rest in moonlight, you’re no longer taking the suppressants are you? With everything that’s happened, it makes sense that you’d forget,” she theorizes, “and apparently Highcrest doesn’t have that practice here.”

You can’t believe you’ve forgotten. In Duskfall, you were chosen by Alpha Tyvrin to be his mate, and asked to take suppressants until the ceremony. This was to help to prevent you from having a heat, decreasing your pheromones from triggering any non-bonded Alpha’s into their ruts and endangering you. These past few weeks since the move, you haven’t been taking any suppressants, and you’re sure by now it's run its course and is out of your system.

“They don’t practice that here?”

“No, weren’t you listening at the meeting? The Alpha-Heir doesn’t choose his mate the same way like in Duskfall. Highcrest has a different ceremony. All unmated Omega’s can be part of it.”

“But isn’t Everlight most likely going to be chosen anyways?”

“I hear there’s blindfolds involved, so maybe instead of sulking, and filling the apartment with your sour scent, you can just join the ceremony and give it a try.”

The news fills your chest with what feels like sunbeams, and you smile at the Beta as you relax into what you’re now realizing is a nest.

“Ah, the room smells so much nicer now. Also—you’re late.”

🌓🌓🌓 Wednesday - Waxing Gibbous

Kim Namjoon sits patiently outside the Apothecary, waiting for Everlight to finish for the day. He can sense her inside, her scent a fresh scent of clean linen, just brought down off of the line after soaking in the sun. It’s always been the strongest scent to him, out of all of the women in Highcrest, and he’s sure that the Moon Goddess will prove her to be his mate this weekend when he ascends to his Alpha status.

Fingers drumming along his clothed knee, he hums to himself as he watches the sunrays filtering through the trees as it sets. The small bell above the door chimes as small groups of girls and women of all ages trickle out from the shop—Everlight hosted a gathering after work for all of the newcomers to review the Highcrest ceremony procedures for women, and they all bow respectfully when they catch sight of him seated in the chair near the door.

Namjoon can’t help but wonder what else they were working on today, his nose itches to investigate whatever new tonic or serum she’s put together this time—the smell is amazing. Like a warm honey coating his tongue, hints of bourbon with small bursts of brown sugar peaking his interest. He hopes it’s not something inedible, like the Aconite serum, and his curiosity getting the better of him, he stands, unbuttoning his suit jacket and moving to peer through the small glass windows framed in the center of the door.

Ah, he thinks as he takes in one of the new pack members, Everlight must have let one of the Duskfall women teach a new tonic. Namjoon recognizes you through the dusty glass standing in front of the group, and remembers that his Beta, Seokjin, had pointed you out from afar when you first arrived.

🌑Two Weeks Ago 🌑 Monday - New Moon

“That’s Alpha Tyvrin’s mate, er—was his mate. They hadn’t actually had the ceremony yet, the attack happened before the full moon ceremony could happen, but she was set to be Duskfall’s Luna.” Seokjin’s finger points down the lane from the window of City Hall, connecting to a woman walking towards the villager housing area. Namjoon eyes you warily before posing a series of questions to his Beta.

“Will it be an issue to have two mature Luna’s in a pack? Should we offer to place her with another pack to mate with an Alpha?”

“I don’t know…I haven’t ever heard of something like this happening. Typically the Alpha has already mated the Luna, and since one cannot live without the other—”

“I see.” Namjoon understands why the Moon Goddess would create such a fate for paired leaders. “Had the ceremony already happened, she would be buried next to him. It could be a help, now that we have so many more people, to have two strong healers in the pack. Maybe she could travel on patrols in case of an attack?” He wonders how Everlight would react to finding out that there’s another Luna-trained Omega in the pack, and if this would be a way to spin it to lessen any blowback.

Seokjin looks thoughtful, eyebrows lifted as he tilts his head and gathers his words carefully. “That could be a good option for the second Luna, so that their training and skills do not go to waste, especially now that our pack has grown…It could also be worth mentioning—with so many new members, it would be a good show of faith if you were to perhaps choose the Duskfall Luna as your mate—”

Namjoon’s growl silences Seokjin momentarily but he presses on when he sees no claws being barred.

“I’m just saying, nothing helps unite two packs better than having one of their own integrated into the upper levels of the hierarchy. If we want to keep peace and help Duskfall feel loyalty to Highcrest, taking their to-be-Luna as your mate would be the smart move. You and Everlight aren’t fated, so it’s not like our pack would frown upon it under the circumstances—”

Namjoon’s eyes cut like daggers as he stares his Beta down, almost dragon-like in ferocity as he contains his inner beast. “Everlight is my mate, Seokjin. I would never betray her like that.”

🌓🌓🌓 Wednesday (present) - Waxing Gibbous

Looking at you now, Namjoon is glad to see that you and Everlight seem to have no issues working alongside each other. After reading through previous Alphas’ historical notes and reviewing the history of the packs of the Twin Rivers Valley, he decided that it would be best to keep you around, as he worries his newest constituents would revolt if they thought he had banished you from Highcrest. He spent the first couple of weeks talking to other elder members of Duskfall, and learned that a lot of the pack had come to rely on you as they became acclimated, that you had been going around to visit with them and check-in, and keep them all calm with the changes happening.

He appreciated that you had taken this on as a duty, especially when you were dealing with the biggest blow of all. Namjoon meant to meet with you to thank you, but the longer he took, the more it felt fake, rehearsed, and like an afterthought instead of what it really was: an Alpha-Heir not yet familiar with his role, and learning about you from afar made him feel like a weird stalker of sorts that he had all this knowledge of you and your skills from others.

Your skills would be most useful to their pack, and though you were meant to lead the pack by an Alpha’s side, you could still maintain some modicum of that role, just as the second to Everlight. Namjoon is sure this plan will work. He plans to have a meeting with Seokjin and Everlight tonight, that way he can make sure that they will follow his plan without any issues.

He knows he could just order everyone to follow along, but using his Alpha to force others to do what he wants doesn’t always work out in the long run. The history of the tribal lands and the fact that there were three distinct tribes from the original one, up until Tyvrin’s death, is proof of that.

It’s much better for a leader to have the consenting loyalty of his pack, instead of forced fealty that brews contempt and derision. Namjoon steps back from the door to allow another person to exit, and once again, the honeyed bourbon seeps through the opening. It’s much stronger this time, urging him to his feet almost against his will.

He feels his blood thrumming, pounding through his veins like a rushing river. Namjoon checks his forehead, as if feverish, and notices his hand comes back with a sheen of sweat. It’s like he’s gone into pre-rut, which would be crazy. He’s pretty regular when it comes to his ruts lining up with Everlight’s heats, and she’s still not due for a little bit…

Namjoon stumbles backward, taking the three steps back to solid ground quickly as he tugs at the collar of his buttoned shirt. He’s too hot, it’s all too much, he has to do something, move, but he’s in the middle of the town, there are people who look to him to be more restrained than this standing all around…Namjoon trips a little on the gravel beneath his feet as he takes off back towards City Hall and away from Everlight, afraid that if she is due for her heat and his pre-rut was triggered by that, he would mount her right there in front of the last few people in the store and fuck her hard against the counter, not caring if everyone saw the powerful way he drove his cock in and out of her until he filled her with cum and knotted her.

He’s locked himself in his office, blinds closed with his fist wrapped around his thick length as he imagines it: his hands firm on the plump rounds of ass, spreading the cheeks apart as he spits between them, Omega slick lathering his cock with every stroke and the tight walls sucking him back in with every pump out, and when he cums—copious amounts leaking around his large hand—it’s only then that he realizes that it wasn’t the clean linen-scented Everlight he was imagining taking his knot.

🌔🌔🌔 Thursday - Waxing Gibbous

You’re irritated—more so than you’ve been since your entire life was turned upside down two weeks ago. The Beta that’s always around the Alpha, Seokjin, randomly showed up at your place in the morning saying you were tasked to go on a supply run to the nearest city. It makes sense—Seokjin explained that the Alpha had handpicked everyone in the group to help new pack members meet others and start to learn their ways, and you appreciate it, except for the fact that you don’t want to be far from home right now.

In fact, because of the upcoming ceremony, Everlight had let all of the women training in the apothecary have the next few days off, as she expected to be chosen and wanted to prepare herself and her home for what was to come. You had mixed feelings when she initially announced this to everyone, because while you enjoy the respite from the constant go-go-go of changes around you, the reason behind it left you feeling miffed.

All of yesterday, you spent time working at the Apothecary and were even asked by some of the others to show them some tonics and potions that they had never heard of, and while you enjoy teaching others, it’s quite draining to go through the motions while talking through every step you make, and why. The girls quietly scribbled down your words in their notebooks, committing your teachings to paper, which made you feel good about yourself, until reality hit about your future.

It almost didn’t feel fair that you were so new to the pack and already others were looking to you to train and teach them new things, meanwhile another person is slated to take the position you’ve wanted and trained for your whole life.

Shaking away your thoughts, you tap back into the moment, finally having arrived in the bustling city a little past mid-day. You hate all of the smells; the odor rising from the sewer grates and scents from the people who jostle you as they rudely push past your group. You hold back the urge to plug your nose, sighing out a weighted exhale as you follow Seokjin through the automatic sliding doors and into a grocer’s market.

🌔🌔🌔 Thursday - Waxing Gibbous

Back in the forest, a half day’s trip from the city, Kim Namjoon spends his time in his office again, hiding out from his duties by disguising them as last minute studying and planning for the ceremony.

He couldn’t bring himself to meet with Everlight the previous night, instead calling Seokjin only to discuss the plans for the supply run. He looked over the list of items Everlight needed in the apothecary, and only because the winter months were starting to fade away into spring meant this would be the last expensive trip until winter came again.

Bees do not make honey in the winter, so why can’t he explain away the coincidence of the honey bourbon smell and the note written in Everlight’s scrawl next to the requested item underlined twice: Honey — we’ve been out for ages!! He doesn’t want to believe that he could be feeling this way for someone other than Everlight, but of two things he knows for sure: he smelled honey, and Everlight is distinctly NOT a honey smell.

Seeing that on the list had Namjoon rise with a wild idea, to send the other Luna far, far away for the day, to help him clear his mind. In reality, he paces his office, wearing thin the once plush carpet with his worried steps until he can’t take it anymore. Crossing the room, he walks with such a force that no one dares to question where he’s off to.

He knows where you live, knows that your Beta roommate Sana should be home, and when he knocks on the door with authority, he expects Sana to fling the door open so hastily that the movement sends the mixed scents of the apartment wafting out at him. Instantly, he expects his spine to straighten as his whole body is overwhelmed by the truth—except that never comes. No one is home, as a kind older woman politely points out to him after his third attempt at knocking.

“Those girls went into town today, it seemed like the Luna had to drag Sana along with her,” she chuckled, clearly a pack member who was fond of the two women. “Did you want me to tell them you stopped by?”

“No! I mean—no need to worry them about my visit, I can talk to them tomorrow, thank you.”

He swiftly departs, deciding to just head home instead of back to the office for some peace.

“Joonie!”

Barely having set foot in his residence, Namjoon is bombarded with the irritating scent of laundry detergent. It’s too pungent; overwhelming in a way that he’s never experienced before. He catches himself before his nose wrinkles and Everlight ascends into his arms. He hugs her back, planting a soft kiss to the side of her head in an endearing manner before she pulls him into the dining room for an early dinner with his parents.

Namjoon spends the evening engaged in conversation with his parents and Everlight, avoiding talks of the ceremony as best he can—despite his mother and girlfriend's best attempts. His dad eyes him warily—in that cunning way that only another Alpha can—sensing the change in the dynamics within the room. Namjoon is grateful his father remains quiet, simply watching the conversation over the nightcap of barrel-aged Cabernet Sauvignon from their cellar.

Once they call it a night and his parents disappear to their room, Everlight begs Namjoon to stay over, and unable to say no to the woman he’s never said no to before, he relents. He regrets this decision almost immediately, as his hopes that Everlight would help him take his mind off of the one thing that’s been at the forefront of it are crushed.

“She’s just really good at healing. She knows a lot, like I can’t believe I’m even admitting it, but she knows things that I don’t. And the things I have been able to teach her, she learns it so quickly and easily. I’m actually kind of jealous.”

Namjoon can tell; Everlight’s face is scrunched up in a way that makes her look unattractive, and he doesn’t know what to do or to say to make her feel less insecure.

“Maybe it’s a good thing she is joining our pack. It’s important to learn and grow continuously.” It’s as diplomatic as he can be at the moment.

“Yes, but she’s trained as a Luna, just like me. It’s a little like she’s trying to take my spot. Yesterday, while I was teaching, the other girls asked her to teach them something I didn’t know, and I just had to stand there and let her take over my lesson. The girls were so focused on her and taking notes, it made me kind of hate her.”

She’s looking at him, her eyes trying to find something within his, but he looks away, reaching for the light next to his bed.

Everlight reaches for him, aligning her body to his as her fingers grip his shoulders so she can position herself atop him.

“That’s why I can’t wait for the ceremony, baby. We can finally be a true, mated pair. Start our forever, with me as your Luna. No room for confusion from the pack about who will bear your pups.” Her eyebrows waggle up and down suggestively as she lowers her lips to his plump ones. “We can practice now if you want, you can scent me, let all the bitches in heat know to back off.” She kisses him again.

Namjoon kisses her back, but her laundry odor fills his nasal cavity and her words are so off-putting for the role she hopes to take on for the pack. He can feel her hands travel down his ribcage, but nothing about her touch turns him on. Pulling away from the kiss, he catches his breath as he readies his excuse.

“Babe, I think we should wait,” his large hands hold her shoulders firmly before his touch grows softer, palms smoothing up and down her arms in a soothing motion. “The ceremony is so soon, and I want it to be sacred…I know that might sound cheesy and un-Alpha-like but—”

“No, you’re right.” Everlight smiles softly at him, but he can see the hurt in her eyes at being rejected. “I’m just feeling overwhelmed with all of the new pack members and the changes happening, I think I got a little over excited.”

“I love that about you, you know? You’re excitement over things, and how you want to be the best version of yourself for our pack. You’re already an amazing Luna in your own right.”

Everlight excuses herself to the bathroom, and Namjoon clambers off his bed, bare feet leading him towards his cracked bedroom window. In the light of the almost full moon, he can now see the noises that drew his attention moments ago: returning members of his pack walking down the path to their homes.

There’s no mistaking it now. A warmth blooms from his groin, spreading higher until his neck grows hot from it as his nose and mouth feel thick with the sweetest bourbon honey scent. With you unaware of his gaze as you laugh with Seokjin and Sana, he feels jealousy boiling into his chest.

“Mine.”

🌕🌕🌕 Friday - Full Moon

You wake up late on Friday morning, your body a little stiff and sore. You feel as if you slept with a heater on, sleep clothes clinging to your body due to the sweat that covers your skin. You try to shake it off, but the feeling doesn’t go away, even after a cold shower.

You’re not surprised you woke up mid afternoon after arriving back at Highcrest near midnight, but you suppose the excitement of what’s to come will keep you awake the rest of the evening. You have to meet the elders for the pre-ceremony rituals at the start of moonrise, so you eat a light snack in the hopes it won’t trouble your stomach too much.

You know now that Sana is right. Your heat will kick in no later than tomorrow afternoon, with the confirmation of the night sweating and soreness symptoms appearing today, but you worry about what it will mean if you end up not being chosen…you’ll begin cramping and sink into Omega-space, leaving you vulnerable to other higher ranking pack members without a plan prepared to get you through your heat.

At quarter till six, you leave your home with a small bag of items and head to city hall, where Elder Aline waits for you and the other Omegas who planned to join the ceremony to arrive. Elder Aline was old—she worked closely with the Luna three times removed was in power, and lived to prepare both of her successors, and now would be helping to prepare this ceremony.

You hug your bag to your chest as the last of the group arrives: Everlight. She only looks slightly surprised to see you in the group of seven Omega’s, but she fixes her facial features quickly and offers you a bright smile.

“I didn’t expect to see you in the group!” Everlight’s tone is friendly enough, but the undercurrent of her words screams out territorial.

“Oh, yeah, my roommate said I should come as an unmated Omega to take part in the ceremony. It’s different from our previous pack’s tradition, and if I hope to carry out my duties and help with future ceremonies, the best way to learn is to be part of it, right?”

Your answer makes sense, perfectly curated to help push away any questions that dig too deep into your motivations, including yourself. Part of you knew that it would be beneficial to you if the worst comes to fruition, but the other part, the more primitive part, knows the real reason is because the wolf inside of you longs for your mate to be Kim Namjoon.

Elder Aline calls for your attention, her weathered voice a calming stillwater that acts as a soothing balm to the nervous energy in your chest. She speaks to the group, sharing some information about how the rest of the night will play out before she leads your small group towards the outskirts of Highcrest, to the south of a small lake on the edge of the forest. The walk takes a bit of time to navigate the terrain, especially with an Elder leading.

You allow her moments to pause and rest, clearly fatigued from traipsing through high grasses and uneven dirt, but soon enough you are there, and placed along the treeline, a small clearing awaits you. She makes quick work of explaining the first ritual’s steps, and you allow her voice to lead you through the routine.

The cleansing ritual itself takes the better part of an hour, as everyone planning to participate strips down to enter the water under the light of the moon which now grazes the top of the trees. A small pouch filled with herbs and petals is handed to each of you to rid you of any lingering outside scents. You lather your skin, taking the time to clean every inch before stepping out to air dry. It’s colder than you expected, but no one wants to risk masking their scent for the ceremony.

The elder had laid a simple white dress on the shore of the lake near your bag, and once dry, you sheathed your body with it, happy for the fabric to provide some warmth. She pulls a thermos from her bag along with small cups.

“Purified under the new moon,” she intones, handing you a steaming cup of tea. “Red azaleas, to pull out your emotions and attract your true mate.”

You sip it slowly, letting the heat warm your hands. The other women join you after the elder gives them each a cup, and you huddle in a circle, trying to stay warm.

“I think it’s good that we have so many of us for the ceremony,” Everlight speaks, her voice light and airy. “It would be a boring ceremony if I was here by myself.”

Her words were clearly chosen carefully, meant to sound like a compliment to the others for their company, while laying claim to the role not yet given to her by the moon. You bristle, feeling your body heat up. Her comments were starting to annoy you, because a true Luna was not insecure or haughty. She was a healer, a person that others could go to when they needed strength, compassion, or empathy. Everlight seemed to have forgotten this.

“I think it is great that Highcrest’s tradition is different from ours, it feels more…pure.” You don’t know how else to describe it, but the act of having the alpha choose his mate through this ceremony feels like how it used to be. The elder hears you and her words confirm this.

“This is the true ceremony. But come now, it is about time for us to begin.”

She leads you around to the north side of the lake. A small copse of trees had blocked the incoming sight, and now that you were closer, you could see the small gathering of pack members standing in a crescent.

Directing you to step into the open space, she takes your cups from each of you as the seven of you line up with ample space between each other. You look around nervously. The cold you felt earlier when you were wet and naked exiting the lake was gone; you notice that you feel hot. You’ve felt hot since drinking the tea.

The crowd murmurs quietly to one another as you look around for Sana, finally finding her to the right near the top point of the moon shape they were standing in. She waves at you, a smile breaking across her face as she takes you in.

All at once the noise in the forest dies out. The muttering follows suit, and Elder Aline steps before the crowd.

“Before the great divide of the tribal lands, the Alpha’s mate was never set in stone until the ceremony was completed. Even if the Alpha had taken many lovers as a young pup, it matters not, for what the moon reveals is the truth. And an Alpha dare not disobey the moon, lest the pack fall weak.”

She then begins her tale of the history of the original tribe they descended from.

“Many, many moons ago, we once existed as a proud and noble pack led by an Alpha of unmatched strength and wisdom named Lycaon. Under his reign, our pack thrived, united as one for the good of the group. We honored the ancient laws dictated by the phases of the moon, for we knew the moon's power was both a gift and a curse. Before the divide, we could shapeshift along with the phases of the moon.

But Lycaon, with his pride swelling within him like a thunderous storm cloud, began to question the moon's choice for his fated mate. He refused his fated Omega, instead choosing who he wanted, and not who our celestial goddess knew our pack needed. Ignoring the warnings of his most trusted Betas, Lycaon decided that his unborn son would also choose his own mate, not the moon.

At first, this defiance seemed to have no negative impact. But before long, cracks began to appear between pack members. By refusing the moon's guidance, the pack ended up with an Alpha-chosen Luna who was not prepared for her role. The rejected Luna fell melancholy, and took her own life, saying she could not watch the ruin of her pack. Some wolves found themselves unable to control their shifting, and began to attack their own kin in fits of madness. Other pack members grew weak—their bodies unable to withstand the impact of their dual nature.”

The entire crowd was enraptured hearing the tale, as Duskfall members did not know the history, and you are among them in learning the true history of the divide.

“As chaos descended upon our once-proud pack, Lycaon's authority waned as the full moon wanes. Desperate to maintain his grip on the pack, he resorted to ruling the pack with fear instead of respect. But his efforts only fueled the flames of discord, and soon, the pack was torn asunder by fights and betrayal.

In the aftermath of our pack's collapse, three new packs rose from the one, each led by a different wolf claiming to be the one true Alpha. They fought for the lands we stand upon today, with Lycaon’s son, Claudin, taking the hills to found Highcrest, and the other two packs fighting over the lower grounds. Claudin knew that in order to reclaim the strength and glory we had lost, he must not allow pride or the greed for power seduce him into betraying the moon.”

A low murmur swept through the crowd. You knew your former packmates had the same thoughts running through their mind as you did—could this really be true? Was Alpha Tyvrin’s downfall predestined to happen in order to reunite the original pack? Elder Aline coughs, and you focus back on her.

“And so, this tale of Alpha Lycaon and our pack serves as a tale of caution for generations, a reminder of the dangers of hubris and the importance of respecting the ancient laws that govern our kind. Alpha Claudin rectified the treachery his father had done unto the moon, but we shall never shift again as punishment.”

A quiet settles upon the crowd, and the elder gestures to a group of children you didn’t notice before. They step towards each of you, and she asks you all to kneel. The small child before you has a face like a cherub, full cheeks pulled tight as he shows his teeth to you, eyes disappearing in his delight.

He bequeaths a length of dark fabric, and his hands move so as to wrap the ends around your face, deftly knotting it behind your head. When you feel him step away, you stand back to full height. Your other senses are heightened, anxiety blossoming at what comes next. You hear footsteps, and sounds of awe and admiration sweep across the crowd stealing your nerves. You freeze in anticipation.

“Alpha Namjoon has done what we once thought impossible, uniting two tribes where whence was three, and we must continue to follow the moon’s guidance. We must not deceive ourselves. The moon will not lead us wrong. It will not lead him wrong.”

Seconds tick by as you wait, eyes furiously trying to see through the thick material stealing your sight. Seconds turn into minutes and you can hear the faint rustling of bare feet traveling across the grass, the weighted foot falls accompanied by heavy inhales of the still air surrounding the area. You know the Alpha has entered the clearing—can feel a palpable shift in the energy as your body grows hotter by the second. His scent sings to you, and you whine lowly, wanting to follow it.

Again, the crowd responds to something unseen by you, this time it has your inner wolf crouching, tail down and ears back—showing submission. Another whine escapes you, a little louder this time. Your distress must be filling the area around you, you can sense the crowd’s movement, reacting to your scent. You begin to panic, fearing that a distressed scent would push the Alpha to choose another, not the scared, submissive and pathetically whining bitch in heat—

🌕🌕🌕 Friday - Full Moon

Namjoon walks up to the clearing surrounded by his closest advisors, some of whom had been absent patrolling the borders and securing their land the past several weeks, and returned in time for the ceremony. As he approaches, the sounds in the forest quickly fade, as if sensing his arrival.

He waits for his signal to enter the clearing, far enough away that he can only smell the crowd of his pack members standing between him and the clearing where the Omegas will stand. Namjoon spent all day in the forest, away from town preparing for the ritual by hunting for game to be used for the meal to feed his mate before the knotting. He also had to follow the same cleansing tradition, bathing under the light of the full moon, drinking the purified new moon tea, and dressing in loose, white linen pants.

He tried his best to clear his mind from the events of the previous evening, and once he was away from the bustle of the town square, he found it easier to convince himself it was just a fluke. After years of being with Everlight, the idea of being fully committed must have made him feel a bit scared, so he latched onto the idea of something new, someone different…you.

Now, after his mindful afternoon in the forest, he knows he just has to trust the moon will lead him to Everlight, his mate. He knows her scent, knows it like he knows the taste of his mom’s cooking or the sound of his father’s favorite whiskey bottle opening.

As the moon climbs higher, he waits, steadily listening as the crowd quiets and Elder Aline speaks, recounting the tale of the original tribe. As she gets close to finishing her tale, Namjoon is tapped on the shoulder by Beta Taehyung, who motions to the blindfold in his hand.

“It’s time, Alpha.”

Namjoon nods, taking the blindfold from the younger male and covering his dragon-shaped orbs. He fastens the knot, and he senses when another one of his trusted Betas approaches him.

“I have the pouch here. Make sure to smell it deeply before—”

Beta Jungkook is interrupted by Namjoon. “I know, I know. Smell it deeply before I let my inner wolf out to track my mate.” He lifts an open palm so Jungkook can place the small, organza fabric reticule into his hand.

When he hears his name, he knows that’s his signal. He follows the sound of the elder’s voice to enter the clearing.

Raising the small sack to clear his olfactory senses, he inhales a piece of his own clothing, a small handkerchief he kept on him all week. A trick using olfactory habituation to cleanse his palate from the surrounding smells, allowing him to only smell his mate. The crowd shifts, he can hear stilted murmurs about his physique being on display since he was shirtless as he walks past his pack.

Stepping fully into the clearing, he inhales deeply, and instantly he picks up the laundry scent that he’s so used to being surrounded by. It’s definitely Everlight’s scent—he’s almost positive—but it has an edge to it, a slight tinge that he’s not used to smelling. The longer he stands there, the more the scent morphs into a cloying, headache inducing smell. It’s almost fake, a manufactured scent that doesn’t entice him.

He steps away from the smell of it, noting an undercurrent of something nice. The crowd reacts, confused at his actions, but he doesn’t care. He knows he has to trust the moon. And that bourbon-honey scent? He wants more of that. Lifting the pouch again to his nose to rid it of the sickly sweet smell, he drops his hand after a few inhalations, allowing the soft honey smell to seep into his pores. It’s alluring, growing more seductive by the moment, but then it takes on the additional bitter scent of anxiety, and Namjoon worries that something is wrong.

He can feel his inner wolf scratching to get closer, to protect, to save his mate—when he steps closer, the crowd reacts again, so he grabs at his blindfold, tearing it free so that he can get to you. He needs to calm you down, you need to feel safe, to know that your Alpha is here to protect you. He’s closer to you than expected, and the whine you let out calls to him in more ways than one.

His body feels alight with flames, he can see you’re trembling. His hand moves without him thinking, gripping the blindfold and tugging it up and off your head.

🌕🌕🌕 Friday - Full Moon

The light of the moon feels blinding as you blink to adjust your eyes to the sudden return of your sight before it’s eclipsed by the broad body of the Alpha. His breaths are almost frantic, a heavy panting that moves his shoulders with each exhalation as his wild eyes roam your face. His neck gland is hidden by a tied piece of cloth, masking his scent partially and you want to bury your face into him, seeking safety and comfort.

Your body responds to his proximity almost immediately, a simultaneous calming of the mind’s anxiety as physically you feel engulfed in a blaze, a sweat finally breaking out along your hairline as you’re thrown into full heat. Namjoon’s nostrils flare as he inhales you, his face looking triumphant as he kneels on one knee before you. He reaches for your hands, which tremble as he locks eyes with you.

“Namjoon, what the hell?!” Everlight stands several omegas down from you, her face free of the blindfold, which now dangles from her fingertips at her side. She doesn’t move for a moment, not until she realizes the Alpha was not responding to her. Her steps don’t falter as she gets closer to you, but your scent grows sour as you take in the murderous look on her face.

Namjoon’s movements are quick and fluid. He stands and postures himself, keeping you protected behind him as he shoves Everlight back with one hand.

“Mine,” he growls. Everlight drops the blindfold, confusion blossoming upon her face.

Namjoon turns to you, grasping your cheeks gently in his hands. “Mate.”

He throws his head back, and lets out a loud howl to the moon.

Chaos ensues. The entire field grows loud as some pack members celebrate the ceremony’s success, while others gossip about the outcome. You can hear snippets of the conversations until another voice grows louder, shouting at the Alpha. It’s Everlight, your brain registers, she’s angry, her sour scent wafting in your direction as she screams.

Some Betas you’ve never seen before hold her back, preventing her from coming closer to you and Namjoon. You back up, jostling into him, and the urge you had earlier grows so strong you don’t hold back. Jumping into his arms, you bury your nose into his neck, and you instantly melt against him, fatigued. Namjoon is startled but holds you tightly, and you can feel when he begins to walk swiftly away from the crowd.

You don’t question it, you just let your Alpha lead you to someplace safe. It takes a few minutes before you arrive at a small cottage, its windows lit with a soft glow. You recognize it for what it is—a mating cabin. Set far enough away from the town square that a newly mated Alpha and Luna can have alone time to get through the next few days.

Namjoon sets you down, but doesn’t let you go. Opening the door, the first thing you see is a pack of water on the small wooden table. It’s one large room, like a studio with an open concept. There’s a small kitchen set up to the left, and straight ahead is a large bed. The sheets are clean and welcoming, and you can feel your body beginning to cramp as your heat kicks in.

You knew it was coming—the low-grade fever, mild cramping, and more recently, increased slick and pheromone production ever since Namjoon touched you in the clearing. You shuffle, uncomfortable as slick leaks out of you, trailing down your thigh slowly.

You can hear Namjoon inhale sharply, before he’s kicking the door shut and grabbing you firmly. He doesn’t speak. His eyes say everything though, the adoration and lust sparkling in the low light in the room.

“Alpha.” It’s a statement. It’s a request.

His lips are on yours, devouring, tasting, suckling as if he can’t get enough of you.

“Honey. You taste like sweet bourbon infused honey…it’s intoxicating.” Namjoon kisses you again, this time his lips trail from yours to your neck. He teases you, teeth nipping at the skin as your thighs rub together seeking pleasure as he pulls sinful mewls from your throat. Your hands grip his upper arms, and you try to tug him towards the bed. You need him. You need his knot.

“Please, Alpha,” you beg, and he shivers in your hold, aroused by your submissiveness. “Need you.”

Namjoon lifts you up, allowing you to wrap your legs around his waist. You grind against him, biting his bottom lip aggressively. You feel so hot—burning up—and he’s the only thing that can cure you from this growing pain.

Your heat is in full swing, and you can tell it’s triggering your Alpha’s rut. He’s trying to hold back, be gentle and slow, but when you push your leaking core against him, he gives in. His hands fumble with the waistband of his linen pants before his heavy cock springs free, fully erect and searching for your entrance. You move your waist to help the angle of his cock, as one hand holds your hip and the other holds the base of his shaft to align himself.

When the slight pressure on your slit gives, you thrust forward, forcing him inside you with ease thanks to your copious amounts of slick. You feel full, the head hitting in just the right spot. Attempting to create friction, you try to undulate your hips, but the resulting shockwaves from the tip meeting that sensitive spot causes you to clench around him.

He freezes, feeling the quickening of your walls and you yelp in surprise when he throws you on the bed. The loss of him inside you feels unfair, but he steps out of his pants and soon crowds your body with his own as he climbs over your body. A firm hand presses into the middle of your upper back, before he grips your hips and pulls them upwards. The dress slides down, revealing your bare backside to him and you feel more than hear the growl he lets out.

He leans against your body, ripping your dress up until you are able to slide the garment off your arms and throw it to the floor. A smack jolts you forward, but he adjusts you back into place. You feel his thumb drag over your slick covered folds, taunting you.

“Alpha!” you whine, and he chuckles before realigning his length to your throbbing core. At this angle, he reaches deeper inside of you, and he begins to rock his hips, thrust after thrust inside you. His large hand grips your chin, turning your head to the side.

“Want to see that pretty face as you cum on my cock, want to hear you cry for me when you take my knot.” His low baritone promises you pleasure beyond your imagination.

He licks up your spine, kissing and nuzzling into your neck, and you know it's the spot he wants to mark you at. You beg him to do it, but he just shakes his head against your skin. “Not yet, my love.”

He kisses you with every thrust he takes, before sitting up more to pin you down to the bed. His movements grow sharp, hands grabbing at your ass cheeks as he pounds into you. Switching up his movements, you can’t believe he fucks so well when he begins to rotate his hips and slips his thumb into your mouth. You suck on it, drool leaking from your mouth onto the sheets as your legs shake.

You clench again, involuntarily spasming every few seconds and you know you’re close—you tell him as much.

“Fuck,” he curses, and you grip the bedsheets as he adjusts his hold on you. His hands move to your hips and he arches your back even more as he speeds up his own movements. They're fluid, your slick making it almost effortless for him to please you, to take you from behind like this until he’s so deep he could feel himself poking through your stomach—

“Take my knot, want you to have my pups, fuck—”he presses his hips flush to your ass, streams of his cum filling you up endlessly as your body wracks with euphoric release. You whine as you feel the intense pressure of his knot filling you before the pain of his marking bite overtakes your senses.

You feel overwhelmed in a good way, pain giving way to pleasure as the bite seals your mated status and his knot begins to slowly deflate. Once able, Namjoon rolls you over to face him, nuzzling into you as you hold him close. Your heat was sated for the time being, but you knew that soon you would be climbing him once again to meet your needs.

You wince as his nose grazes your fresh mark and he makes an apologetic face. Standing up from the bed, he grabs a bottle of water for you, twisting the cap off for you and proffering the drink.

You take a full swallow, quenching the thirst you didn’t realize you had. Heats have a way of making you forget to take care of yourself in that way. The fatigue consumes you, and you drop back down to the bed. Namjoon takes the bottle from you and places it on the side table. His hands massage your calves, working his way along your thighs. His movements could put you to sleep, but you knew as well as he did that this reprieve would not last long. The moon shone through the window casting a faint glowing halo around Namjoon’s head.

He was yours.

In the moon's tender glow, we're born anew,

The night's canvas echoes our ancient call,

Omegas and Betas, to their knees they fall,

For the Alpha, bound by destiny's fate.

To lead, to fight, to protect, to mate,

In lunar hours, gaze upon the sky,

Let Luna's wisdom be your guiding light,

Her soothing touch to mend wounds that cry.

When crescent rises, we shall rise as one,

Aligned with moonrise, our time has begun.

529 notes · View notes

divinelyparkjimin · 4 months

Text

— bodyguard [m] | knj.

◦ summary ↠ amidst a swirl of emotions sparked by a jealous encounter at a ball, it seems like guarding isn’t the only thing your bodyguard will be doing to your body.

◦ pairing ↠ namjoon x reader

◦ word count ↠ 3.2k

◦ genre ↠ smut, fluff, angst (barely)

◦ content warning(s) ↠ bodyguard au, daddysgirl!reader, bodyguard!namjoon, dom!namjoon, sub!reader, suggestive/explicit content, oral sex (f. and m. receiving), cunnilingus, creampie, dirty talk, praise kink, size kink, penetrative sex, ejaculation, f. and m. orgasm

a/n: it has been way too long but i am here :) enjoy!

masterlist

Your legs were glued together, fingers tracing the detailing on your dress as you trembled in the backseat of your dad’s car.

Why did I even agree to this? You couldn’t help but think to yourself.

Your dad was one strong man. Not physically. Not emotionally. But the man’s social status was beyond imagination. Since the man had grown up networking his way to success, he’d wanted you to do the same for yourself, rather than mooch of his own accomplishments. And sure, he could just be looking out for you, protecting you from becoming just another nepo baby out in the world, but you were too nervous for this.

One of the largest networking events in Seoul was to take place in about 30 minutes and you would not be saved from it. In fact, you were on your way there.

Your young, but fairly attractive bodyguard, Namjoon, had offered to take you. While the experience would be shy of a nervous wreckage, you were still relieved he’d be there with you. A single familiar face is better than none.

“You okay?” You were instantly interrupted in the midst of your thoughts. You could see Namjoon’s eyes meet yours in the rearview mirror, his eyebrows furrowed.

“Y-Yeah, sorry, I’m just super nervous about this whole thing.” You heaved a sigh. “How do I know if people will even like me after this? What if I just make a complete fool out of myself?”

You could hear a soft chuckle leave Namjoon’s mouth.

“You’re just overthinking, Y/N. I know you’ll do great.” The boy reassured you with a smile. You returned the smile before turning to your side to see you’d already arrived. The smile on your face quickly faded.

Namjoon got out of the car and scurried over to open your door, assisting you out of the car. Your legs instantly weakened as soon as you stepped out—the nervousness was definitely getting to you.

You stared blankly at Namjoon who was waiting until you’d situated yourself to continue forward. Seeing him out of the car, you gave yourself a moment to take in his appearance. The sleek suit he wore hugged his broad shoulders and emphasized his strong physique, something you never noticed before. His dimples were out as his lips curled upward into a soft smile. You realized you were probably staring at him a little too long and decided to break the silence.

“Sorry, haha, I’m ready to go now.” You straightened out your dress before putting out a thumbs up.

“As you wish, captain.” The boy cheekily nodded before turning to the side with his arm out to direct you ahead.

Upon stepping into the ballroom, you realized how fancy this place truly was. The ballroom unfolded before you like a scene from a fairy tale. Crystal chandeliers dangled from the high ceiling, casting a cascade of golden light that danced upon the polished marble floor. Tables adorned with fine linens and sparkling silverware were strategically placed, surrounded by elegantly dressed guests engaged in animated conversations.

Upon your entry, you were immediately greeted with a bow and offered a glass of wine by a waiter dressed in fully white attire. You took the glass in your hands and made your way to your seat with Namjoon following closely behind.

The echo of your own name disrupted your thoughts as you plopped down into your seat. Startled, you looked up, and there, standing before you, was Taehyung. It took a moment for recognition to dawn, realizing that the familiar face belonged to a boy you used to be really good friends with in your younger days.

Back when you were 7-8 years old, you and Taehyung were inseparable, spending countless hours playing together. However, life took an unexpected turn when Taehyung had to relocate to Switzerland with his dad when you turned 13. The departure, though abrupt, was an inevitable change that left behind fond memories of your shared childhood adventures.

“It’s been a while, hasn’t it?” Taehyung said, placing a hand on your exposed shoulder before trailing it down to your lower back. Namjoon’s eyes instantly directed to Taehyung’s hand placement, a hint of sourness becoming apparent on his face.

“It really has, I was starting to think you might’ve died.” You joked, your playful tone cutting through the subtle tension.

“Hey, I wouldn’t die without telling you. We had some pretty great memories back then, you know?” Taehyung reassured you, but your attention was drawn to his lingering gaze, which traversed the entirety of you before settling back on your face. “You look great, by the way.”

“Thanks, I try.” You replied, trying to keep the conversation casual as you subtly shifted away from his lingering touch. The atmosphere held a mixture of nostalgia and the present with Namjoon’s watchful eyes capturing every detail.

“You know, I’m actually back in Seoul again. I’d love to meet with you sometime, maybe not with so many people around.” Taehyung suggested with an eyebrow raised. “You up for it?”

Namjoon cleared his throat, interjecting, “Sorry to bother, but I think Y/N is needed for something.” The interruption carried a hint of possessiveness but the huskiness in his voice was oddly attractive. “I’m sure she can get back to you later.”

“Oh okay, no problem then.” Taehyung seemed disappointed, but complied anyway, moving his eyes to you. “I’ll see you around then?” With two fingers, he flicked outward from his head to signify his parting before walking elsewhere.

Filled with curiosity, you turned to Namjoon. “What’s the thing you said I’m needed for?” The boy’s eyes widened slightly before he began to scrunch his face in a bit of discomfort. “I actually think I might’ve made a mistake with that, I apologize Y/N.”

“Don’t worry about it okay?” You replied. He nodded, unable to make eye contact with you.

Throughout the night you spoke to a variety of different people: people you’d known long ago, people you’d never met, and people you’d only ever think to meet in your dreams. After a long, tiresome night, it was finally time to head back home.

As you made your way towards the car, the air felt charged with an unspoken tension. Namjoon held the car door open, but there was a subtle stiffness in his demeanor. As you slid into the seat, you couldn't ignore the silent discomfort that lingered between you and Namjoon.

During the drive, the atmosphere inside the car was palpably different. Namjoon's usual ease seemed replaced with a quiet reserve. The hum of the engine filled the space between you, accentuating the unspoken tension. It wasn't long before you couldn't resist addressing the shift in the air.

"Namjoon, is everything okay?" You asked, your voice gentle but concerned.

He glanced at you, his eyes reflecting a mix of emotions. "Yeah, everything's fine," He replied, but the unease remained evident.

"No, something's off. You've been acting a bit distant," you pressed, your intuition picking up on the subtle changes.

Namjoon hesitated for a moment, then admitted, "It's just... seeing you with Taehyung back there. I couldn't help feeling a bit... jealous."

Your eyebrows raised in surprise, "Jealous? Namjoon, he's just an old friend."

He sighed, running a hand through his hair, "I know, it's irrational. But seeing you with him, it triggered something. I guess I just... care about you more than I thought."

The revelation hung in the air, and as you processed his words, a warmth crept into your chest. "Namjoon, you don't have to be jealous.”

As the car eased into a secluded spot, the quiet darkness enveloping you, you couldn't help but voice the thoughts that had been lingering in your mind. The revelation about Namjoon's jealousy had opened a door, and now it was time to let your feelings be known.

"I have to admit," You began, a playful glint in your eye, "I couldn't help but eye you all night. You looked so good in that suit, and, well, I've always had a bit of an attraction to you, both emotionally and, I can't deny it, physically."

Namjoon's eyes met yours, a mix of surprise and a spark of something else. The air between you shifted again, this time with a newfound acknowledgment of mutual desire

“You mind if I join you back there?” The sudden comment by Namjoon caught you by surprise and you could feel your cheeks grow hot. You nodded your head enthusiastically, moving over to make space for him in the back as he made his way over.

The back door opened and closed behind Namjoon who was now sitting right beside you, his face inches from yours. His intense stare remained connected with yours as you took this time to admire his face. Somehow, he managed to look even better up close. The soft creases into his face where his dimples were became visible as a small grin creeped upon his lips at the sight of you.

He seemed to be growing closer to you, nodding his head as if to ask if he could continue. You nodded back and before you knew it, his lips were on yours. His hand cupped the side of your face, guiding you into a rhythm. The kiss was slow and passionate with a bit of roughness to it.

You both reveled in the sensation as your hands explored each other's forms. Your hand slid down his chest while you slowly pressed the rest of your body closer to him. Your leg was swung over his thigh, his hand gripping it tightly.

“Fuck, Y/N.” Namjoon growled, pulling his face back to admire yours. His face was soon found buried in your neck, sucking at the sensitive skin beside your collarbone. You felt tingles as his tongue wet your skin, sucking harder and harder. He parted from your neck not allowing much time to pass before making contact with your skin yet again.

His hand that was on your thigh slid down your frame to lift your dress up. It was then that you could feel the warmth of his hands on your ass cheeks. He used the tips of his fingers to trace circles into your skin, shooting a stimulating sensation throughout your body. You whimpered out, thrusting your hips against his crotch as if to beg for more.

Soon enough, Namjoon’s hands found their way to the back of your dress, fingertips fixed on your zipper. He pulled it down and helped you remove the dress, eyes glued to your figure. The sultry look in his eyes was enough to leave your panties drenched, something he seemed to have noticed upon the removal of your dress.

“Fuck, you’re so wet. Can I touch?” He requested, removing the suit jacket off his own body.

“Yes, please touch me. I need you right now.” You begged, your face scrunched up in ecstasy. Namjoon’s face brightened up at your keenness.

“Mind if I use my tongue? It’s dying to taste you.” His hands seemed to be a step ahead as they were already gripping the band of your panties, quickly pulling them down your legs.

As you were about to respond, Namjoon’s face was already between your legs, his tongue pressing right against your clit. A high pitched moan escaped your mouth at the sudden sense of pleasure that exploded within your body. Without warning, his tongue slid right over your clit yet again, before making tiny circles around the area. He’d tease around the flesh before swiping his tongue against it harder than the last time, leaving you moaning breathlessly.

“F-Fuck!” You screamed out in pleasure, grinding your hips against his tongue to accentuate the feeling. You pressed Namjoon further into your pussy with your hand that was placed at the back of his head, desperately wanting to feel more. He could feel your desperation and only went harder and faster. You could feel the tension slowly building up as you grew closer and closer to your release.

Your head was thrown back in delight and you basked in the overwhelming feeling of pleasure.

“N-Namjoon, f-faster, please!” You could barely manage to get the words out, panting and moaning uncontrollably. Namjoon adhered to your guidance, quickening the pace and pressure of his tongue’s movements along your folds, focusing most of it on your clit. “F-Fuck, I’m close!” You whined, nearing your finish. Responding to your feedback, Namjoon decided to suck hard on your clit, something that seemed to just flip a switch inside of you. Almost instantly, you could feel yourself entirely give out. A profound, pulsating euphoria seemed to course through your veins, rendering you utterly consumed by the sheer bliss that embraced you from head to toe. You came.

“You taste so good, Y/N.” Namjoon pulled back with a huge grin on his face, licking his lips.

“Do I now? So when do I get to taste yours?” You teased.

“You want it?” Namjoon looked down to his own crotch where you could see a boner battling to escape his tight black dress pants. You nodded eagerly, not wasting any time before beginning to unbuckle his belt. Once you were able to get the belt off, you threw it off to the side to continue unbuttoning and unzipping his pants. He slid them off his legs, left with his black boxers on. He hurriedly unbuttoned his dress shirt before nearly ripping it off his body.

With his shirt and pants out of the way, you were able to make out the outline of his shaft. It looked way bigger than you’d imagined, something you can’t help but admit to wondering about in the past. You found yourself near salivating at the pure thought of the man’s length, quickly fixing your hands on the band of his boxers.

“You’re quite the eager one, aren’t you? Why don’t you say please for me first, princess?” The mere usage of the nickname had your stomach erupting with butterflies.

“Please, Namjoon. Let me suck your cock.” Your enchanting eyes seemed to work perfectly on Namjoon as he placed a soft kiss on your lips before letting out a small chuckle.

“You’re such a good girl, Y/N. Go right ahead, it’s all yours.” You pulled down at the band of Namjoon’s boxers, revealing his long, hard cock. It sprung out as soon as the band had fallen below it, as if waiting for your mouth to find its place on it.

As its outline had previously displayed, his manhood was indeed big. It had a slight curve to it and was a rosy shade of pink with veins taking shape along it. After indulging in your moment of admiration, you positioned your face before it, wrapping one of your hands around the bottom of his shaft. You looked up at him before proceeding, noticing the way his lustful eyes followed your every movement.

Wanting to start slow, you stuck your tongue out, gliding it along his hard member. You started with a small area but went back again, licking from the bottom of his balls to the tip. He let out a low grunt as you noticed his cock twitch in excitement. You quickened your pace, watching Namjoon’s face respond to the contact of your tongue.

“You’re so good at this, fuck.” Namjoon moaned, moving a strand of hair behind your ear. His eyes were locked on you as he watched you have your way with his cock. After you’d gotten enough of the licking, you decided to go even further, placing your lips atop his throbbing hard-on. You could taste the pre-cum that lightly coated his tip, scaling his cock further into your mouth. You tightened the suction of your lips, bobbing your head up and down to a steady rhythm.

“You know, I never thought I’d get to see your pretty face on my cock.” Namjoon uttered breathily in a low tone. “I’m a lucky guy, aren’t I?” Too caught up in pleasing him to respond, you continued to suck and began stroking his cock at the same time to increase the pleasure. Namjoon was starting to grow close and you went faster, wanting to make him cum faster. Before he could finish, he pulled himself out to which your head turned up to stare at him with a confused look on your face.

“I’d rather save my cum for your pussy. Don’t wanna miss out on seeing you all filled up.” Namjoon placed a kiss on your lips before directing you further. “Lean back and spread those legs out, princess.”

You quietly but swiftly followed his directions.

“You’re on the pill, right?” Namjoon questioned, with a bit more of a serious expression. You nodded, allowing him to proceed. He positioned his crotch in front of yours before slowly inching his dick right into your hole. You moaned loudly upon his entrance, which was followed by several other thrusts.

The thickness of his shaft filled you up entirely, allowing you to feel its every detail and contour against your walls.

“F-Fuck your cock is so b-big!” You whimpered as Namjoon continued to slam his meat faster and deeper into your moist cave, with no sign of slowing down.

“Yeah? Tell me more, Y/N. I wanna hear how good my cock makes you feel.” Namjoon’s alluring tone had you captivated.

“I like how it f-fills me up! A-And how l-long it—aah!” You struggled to get any words out, but tried to remain compliant.

“It does fill you up, huh?” Namjoon smirked as you couldn’t help but moan out. He was relentless with his thrusts, going harder and harder. He didn’t seem to be tiring out whatsoever and was pressing further toward your g-spot with every thrust. The sight of his toned torso and thrusting hips into you was a view you just couldn’t get sick of.

“Fuck, Namjoon!” You screamed out as he slammed his tip against your g-spot. You could feel the contact of the flesh send tingles throughout the rest of your body and could only grow desperate for more. “Please, d-don’t stop, faster!” Your pressing whimpers only motivated Namjoon further. He seemed to really be getting the hang of it as he repeatedly hit your g-spot, helping you rapidly grow even closer to a finish.

“A-Ah, I’m close, Namjoon! I-I don’t think I can hold it!” You whinged as Namjoon thrusted even faster. Your moans grew in pitch and volume as you reached your climax, realizing that Namjoon had also reached his own when you’d felt a warm runny liquid seep out from your core.

You were left panting, as was Namjoon, the two of you left with the giddiest of expressions on your face. As the lingering bliss settled between you and Namjoon, a comfortable silence enveloped the air. He gently placed kisses on your forehead and lips, and despite the intimate moment, a hint of shyness crept in, painting your cheeks a rosy hue.

In the quiet aftermath, Namjoon broke the tranquility with a nervous laugh, his gaze meeting yours

"You don't think your dad will fire me after this or anything, right?"

a/n: unedited but i hope you guys still like! feel free to leave thoughts and comments woo

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borathae · 8 months

Text

“Namjoon wants to be pegged. This is a confession you never thought your devilishly handsome boyfriend to make and yet here you are, with Namjoon moaning underneath you as your strap reshapes his insides.”

~ Requested by 🧈anon ~

Pairing: Namjoon x f.Reader

Genre: established relationship!AU, Smut

Warnings: sub!Namjoon, Dom!Reader, a lil bit of fumbling in the shower, where he also pretends to be a Dom, he calls her “bad girl” in a playful manner, but then he turns into a subby messy ufkcdkf, she calls him "puppy", first time pegging, he’s on his back during foreplay but gets fucked in doggy, buttplugs, dirty talk, cockwarming to mess him up <3, edging, cumming untouched, so much cum, strength & size kink (i made him taller than her because joon is so nfng perfect for size kinks where HE is the subby mess), the foreplay hits so fucking hard, male masturbation with a showerhead, handjob from behind, anal fingering, she prepares his hole until he can take the plug, then edges him and uses an even bigger plug, besties we’re going down together, subby boys tears, Joonie being so vocal, cuddly aftercare, they're in love <3

Wordcount: 7.4k

a/n: HBD Joon, you big beefy teddy bear <3 this was also requested but I lost the ask :( thankfully i safe all my requests in a word doc. also, butter anonie where are you? i miss you :( hehe have fun besties, this is very horny 🖤

Your boyfriend is normally a very open and communicative person. It’s the reason why you guys never fight. Stuff gets talked about before it can manifest into resentments. So his recent behaviour has been worrying to say the very least.

Namjoon came home from work very quiet last night. He treated you normally, chatted with you about his day and cuddled you to sleep, but it was so obvious to you that something was weighing down his heart. So this morning you asked him if something was bothering him to which he merely shook his head and then said that work has just been stressful lately. You believed him, but somehow you also didn’t believe him. It was a Saturday today and Namjoon spends most of his Saturdays reading on the balcony or taking his bike for a drive along the Han River. This Saturday however he was holed up in his office for most of the day, only coming out for lunch in your favourite restaurant and later when he left for the gym. He acted normal and was terribly sweet, but you still got a feeling that something was occupying his mind.

Namjoon has been at the gym for about an hour now. Given how it takes him around half an hour to drive to it, you know that he won’t be home for at least another hour. You are just about to leave for your own gym session and are on your way to the kitchen for a pre-workout snack when his office calls out to you. He left the door open. You normally don’t snoop around each other’s stuff. It’s rude and an invasion of privacy, but today you can’t help it. You tiptoe into his office, acting as if you were merely checking if he closed the windows before leaving for the gym when in reality you were sneaking glances at his desk.

He was just acting too out of character lately and you have to figure out what was going on with him. He left his laptop on. You halt. This feels so wrong to do. You hover your hand over the mouse and click.

“Oh”, you gasp, flinching back.

A window popped up.

His internet browser with multiple tabs open.

“Shit, this is so wrong”, you say and try to look away. You really wanted to look away, but then one of the windows piqued your interest. The headline was cut off, all it read was: Better Relationship.

You furrow your brows. Why does he need to read stuff about better relationships? Your stomach tightens. Were you fears correct? Is he silent quitting on you? Is that it?

With a racing heart, you click on the article, having to read as far as the full header to realise that this wasn’t a break-up tutorial article but an article about sex.

Better Relationship? Try Pegging.

The headline reads. Whoever wrote it was terribly uncreative, but at least it gets the message across.

Try pegging. You heard about this kink, but never dug deeper. Why is Namjoon reading articles about it? You click out of the article in favour of skimming through the other pages he left open. They were about pegging. All of them.

“What the hell?” you murmur, reading through them with a confused mind, “why is he reading about all of this?”

You exit another article and click on the last link he left open without looking at the icon.

“Ah!” you yelp, startling when you are greeted with a detailed shot of a man getting fucked in the ass. You check the link, “porn”, you press out, “Namjoon, you dirty-minded idiot why are you looking up porn…okay damn, wait”, you stop talking as you watch the purple dildo disappear inside the man’s ass over and over again. This is actually hot. He is moaning so much and seems to take it so easily. You gulp, shifting from one foot to the other. Damn…

You don’t even realise that you finish the porn video until the “watch next” logo pops up. It rips you out of your trance and you scramble anxiously to stop autoplay from happening. You refresh the page and stop the video, closing the internet browser afterwards. You just snooped in your boyfriend’s laptop and watched his porn videos. You feel so dirty right now and so wrong.

“I gotta go for a run”, you get out and flee the scene of your crime.

Namjoon still isn’t home when you return from the gym. You have been out for an hour and a half, running to your gym and working out especially hard. You just couldn’t get what you learned about out of your head, trying to make sense of it. The porn video, all those articles, the tutorials on how to engage in the kink safely. They don’t leave your mind and almost drive you crazy.

You go straight for the shower in an attempt to wash off the hard workout and somehow calm down your mind. He still isn’t home, which makes you worry on top of all the other overthinking you have been doing.

You are in the middle of letting the water run down your face when you feel the presence of someone behind you. You open your eyes and turn, coming face to face with Namjoon’s huge tits. They are clearly tense and swollen from working them out. You dare to glance down his body. His tummy is tense as well and from your current angle, his thighs look huge. You try not to let your gaze linger on his cock, but it’s tempting you like crazy today. You blame the secret you uncovered. You gulp your nervousness away and lift your head, meeting his eyes.

“Did I startle you?” he asks.

“Yeah, a little”, you answer him.

“Sorry, I knocked and called your name but I think the water drowned out my voice.”

“Yeah it did. I didn’t hear you come in.”

“Sorry. Can I join you in the shower?” he asks.

“You’re already in here, aren’t you?”

He laughs, you laugh with him.

“Yeah right”, he says and runs his eyes down your body. He meets your gaze after a moment, “can I touch you?”

“Yes.”

Namjoon takes your consent and steps closer, placing his big hand on the small of your back as he leans down for a kiss. You get on your tiptoes, hooking your arms behind his head to pull him closer. He lets it happen with a deep chuckle, stumbling into you until your bodies are flush together and the water has to work around you to get to the ground.

He breaks the kiss too soon for your taste, gasping for air. His eyes gleam in amusement, but also showcase that he was surprised by your raunchy kiss.

“I didn’t expect that”, he confesses.

“Yeah uhm”, you clear your throat, sliding your arms from him, “I thought about you today”, you confess and lower your head. You feel nervous because you are going to confess your sins to him. You can’t bear to keep something like this from him. Especially because curiosity as to why he is researching all of this is turning you crazy.

“I thought about you too, baby”, he says and leans down to place kisses on your neck while his hands explore your lower torso gently. They are slightly calloused because he has been working out especially hard lately and you love that feeling. His touch is gentle and soft while his palms are so rough. You tingle like crazy because of it, tingling even harder today because you want him.

“Your heart’s racing like crazy”, he purrs against your neck, sliding his hands to your ass to caress it mindlessly, “what’s the matter?”

“Namjoon baby, I did something really bad today.”

“Mhhm you did?” he lulls and smirks, “you’ve been a bad girl is that it?”

“No, I actually did something bad.”

“Mhm I’m sure you did”, he rasps, giving your buttocks a soft squeeze, “bad, bad girl.”

“Namjoon, I looked through your laptop!” you blurt out.

He just kind of stills. His lips are pressed to your neck but don’t move, his hands stopped feeling you up and he is dead-silent.

“I’m sorry”, you say honestly.

Namjoon lifts his head, showing you the utter panic on his face. This was not the expression you figured him to have. You furrow your brows and touch his chest.

“Are you okay?” you ask him.

“Did”, he whispers, clears his throat, “what did you see?”

“Everything”, you confess quietly.

“Everything?”

You nod your head.

“Did you….did you open the browser?”

“Yeah, I did”, your eyes meet, “I’m sorry.”

He stays silent, staring at you. It makes you nervous.

“Say something please”, you whisper.

“Why would you do that?” he whines, “that’s my privacy and you invaded it.”

“I know and I feel terrible. I’m so sorry for doing something so shitty.”

“If you knew that it was bad why did you do it in the first place?” he throws back, furrowing his brows.

“Because I was scared.”

“Scared of what?”

“That you’re silent quitting on me.”

“Huh?” he widens his eyes.

“You’ve been acting so weird since yesterday and today you spent all day in the office and, and then I was checking to see if you closed the windows and your laptop was on and I just…got scared and had to check for myself and at first I didn’t want to do it, but then I saw the headline Better Relationship and I thought you were reading break up tutorials, but then it was stuff about pegging??”

Namjoon’s cheeks gain in colour at the mention of it.

“And then I couldn’t stop reading and I kept reading all the other stuff and, and then I clicked on the porn.”

“Oh my god”, he gets out, covering his own eyes, “please tell me that you didn’t watch it.”

“I did.”

“God”, he groans, taking a step back, “this is so embarrassing. You were never supposed to see that. You probably think that I’m such a freak now.”

“Huh?” you furrow your brows in confusion, “no…I don’t actually.”

“Really?” he gasps, looking at you. He steps closer, grasping your lower arms, “what do you think of it then? Did you also like it?”

“Also?”

He nods his head, “it’s hot, isn’t it?”

“Wait”, you say, holding his hands, “are you telling me that you looked all of that up because you think it’s hot?”

Namjoon hesitates, “you don’t think it’s hot, do you?” he asks, looking sad.

“I mean…I’m confused that’s all. Have you always been into it?”

“No”, he mumbles, lowering his eyes shyly, “no, just…Jimin talked about it to Tae in the office yesterday and I asked him about it. Apparently his wife pegs him?” he says and lets out a breathy laugh, “and then I asked what it was and if it was nice for guys and apparently it’s really nice?” another breathy laugh and his hands squeezing yours excitedly, “and then I couldn’t stop thinking about it and I started my research and yeah…” he lowers his head, “I think I’m into it.”

“You are?”

He nods his head, “I wanted to talk to you about it, but I still hadn’t decided on whether I liked it or not, so I hesitated. And I didn’t want to weird you out with it on top of that. Sorry, I was nervous.”

“Don’t apologise. I feel awful, I’m sorry for forcing this out of you.”

“No, you didn’t”, he shakes his head, “I’m actually relieved that you found out about it. It saved me the most awkward fucking confession ever.”

“Yeah”, you laugh, “at least one of us gotta do the awkward confession.”

Namjoon laughs, nodding his head. Your eyes meet. The secret seemed to have brought you even closer together. You and he seek each other, your hands touch the other yearningly.

“What do you think of it?” Namjoon asks.

“The porn was really hot and I also thought that the articles made it sound really fun.”

“Really? Oh”, he lets out the shakiest breath you have ever heard from him. Even his knees did a little wobble. His reaction made your tummy tense in excitement. He was really hot right now, “w-would you wanna try it with me?” he asks in a trembling voice.

If he is already that hot at the mere thought of doing it with you, then how hot would he be if you were actually doing it? You feel insanely attracted to him right now, dying for the idea of doing it with him.

“Yeah”, you say, nodding your head.

“Oh god”, he presses out and whimpers. This man actually whimpers. He stumbles back and forth as his knees give up on him for a second, his hands tug you snug against him while his face hides away in the crook of your neck, “I’m so happy”, he gets out, breathing shakily afterwards, “holy fuck, thank you.”

“You’re really hot right now.”

“I’m excited”, he says and exhales in a tremble, “fuck, I can’t get my cock down. Sorry”, he says and laughs.

“You are so hot, damn”, you say and twist your fingers in his hair to tug his head away from your neck.

He lets you handle him this way with a soft moan slipping past his lips. Despite the height difference, he looks tiny right now. All the muscles and size in the world won’t be able to hide how utterly at your mercy he feels right now.

“Do you wanna do it tonight?”

“Yeah, yeah can we do it soon? Maybe even before dinner?”

“I would be down. But wait, we don’t own a strap.”

“I bought one.”

“You did what?”

“I bought toys. Buttplugs and lube and a strap”, he confesses, “that’s why I was late.”

“You really want this, don’t you?”

He nods his head, “I can’t get my cock down. I had to be so careful in the gym not to get hard.”

You eye it. It’s standing against his stomach, looking so flushed and wet. The water from the shower keeps running down his throbbing veins, making him look so goddamn tempting.

“I can see that”, you say, ghosting your fingertips over his tip. He twitches into your touch, throbbing uncontrollably even after you pulled it back.

You and he snicker at the view, exchanging a knowing look.

“Twitchy”, you tease.

“I’m horny”, he confesses.

You chuckle fondly, running your fingertips along his faint ab lines. Your eyes meet. He looks at you with so much submission that it gets hard to function.

“You’re cute”, you say, ending your teasing touch by placing two fingers under his chin and tracing his lower lip, “now. Let’s wash away our workouts and get ready, yeah?”

“Yes Ma’am”, he says, nodding his head obediently, “should I soap your back?”

“That would be lovely, puppy.”

You never witnessed Namjoon this way. He isn’t that out of breath normally, that twitchy and squirmy and that noisy. The shower has been finished and Namjoon already did the preparation to be clean. The sheets are ruffled and slightly damp because neither of you cared to truly dry your hair. You like that feeling. Namjoon looks so fucking good with wet hair, especially when it’s messy. And especially when you are the reason why it is messy.

You are on top of him, keeping him pinned to the mattress with your weight on his cock and your hands holding his arms above his head. He could easily shake you off. He’s so strong and so much taller than you, but you don’t witness any of this strength. He is weak right now. Tiny and fragile and so utterly at your mercy. Namjoon breaks the kiss again, having to fight for air as his lips open and close. They are puffy from all the kissing you did, glistening in the warm lights of the setting sun.

“I’m dizzy, I’m so dizzy”, he confesses, squirming underneath you.

“You’re cute, that’s what you are”, you say and lower your lips to his throat.

“Ah”, he lets out, tilting his head back as best as possible.

You claim his willing submission instantly, exploring his vulnerable throat with purrs of seduction rumbling in your chest. His neck looks so, so empty. You have to change that, mark it as yours and let everyone know who turns this big man into such a whiney mess.

Namjoon arches his back, reaching for you now that your hand stopped pinning him down. His clammy hands grab for your waist and squeeze, dimpling your flesh in the most pleasurable of ways. You aren’t even mad at him for leaving the position. Not when he shows you his desperation in such amazing ways.

“Mhhm Joonie”, you purr, guiding your lips along his jawline.

Namjoon rolls his head to the side and moans, dropping his back into the sheets just so he can arch it again when you begin sucking hickeys next to his pulse point. It feels gentle at first until the pressure under his skin grows and a small stings shoots through him.

“Please”, he gets out, rolling his hips against you.

You are both naked, making a mess between your legs. It’s dripping down his shaft and covers his balls, soaking parts of his pubes as well. He gets so wet for you, contributing to the mess you make as you sit on him to keep him hard.

Cockwarming. You fucking love to do it and today you are doing it with the sole purpose of driving your cute boyfriend to the brink of insanity.

“Holy shit, your pussy”, he gets out and thrusts his hips up a second time. His hands grip your hips, his own chase you in yet another eager thrust.

“Namjoon”, you warn, sitting up and therefore rendering his hips useless (again, he is stronger than you. He willingly gives his strength to you).

“Please”, Namjoon begs, squeezing your hips desperately.

“I told you not to fuck me. Why can’t you listen?” you scold him as your hands run down his sculpted arms. You close your fingers around his wrists and tug his hands away from your hips.

He lets go instantly, allowing you to pin them above his head again. Like this, his sensitive cock shifts inside you, rubbing right against your puffy, wet walls.

Namjoon keens quietly, looking up at you with droopy eyes.

“Mhm? Why can’t you listen?” you ask as you rock your hips back and forth as slowly as possible.

“I’m sorry”, he keens, “I’m sorry, I’m so needy.”

“Of course you are.”

“The buttplug is fucking me”, he confesses and mewls, closing his eyes as his hips squirm under you.

“It is?” you ask, feeling your stomach flutter. This is the hottest confession you ever heard of him. Fuck, this man drives you insane.

He nods his head, squeezing his thighs together as best as possible.

“I’m so stuffed”, he croaks, “fuck, please do something about it.”

“Bratty”, you chuckle, abandoning his wrists to feel down his arms. They are so sculpted and huge and strong, “shit baby, you’re so strong”, you tell him mindlessly, guiding your touches down his chest. You gather his tits and squeeze, digging your thumbs right into where his nipples are. He got so much to grip and play with. Sometimes when he runs and he wears a compression shirt, you can watch his tits bounce. The first time you saw it happening, you might as well have swooned. You drop his tits for the sake of pinching his nipples and tugging on them.

“Ah please”, Namjoon begs, chasing your touch with an arch of his back. He rolls his head to the other side, intertwining his own hands in order not to the leave the position again. His twitchy cock leaks inside you, aching to be bounced on. While your weight and the way his thighs squeeze together, keep forcing the silicon buttplug to shift inside his hole.

You gather his tits again and squeeze them together, massaging his nipples with rough precision. Namjoon clenches around the toy, squirming helplessly while you play his body like an instrument.

Namjoon really liked preparing himself. He read tutorials about how to to do it properly and even watched a video on it, so he wasn’t weird about it. Nervous of course, because he never did anything to his butt before, but not weird. The preparations actually felt really good to him. They excited him. It hurt a little at first because of how tight his little virgin hole was, but then the shaft of the douche slipped in and stretched him out and Namjoon had to sit down on the toilet and do it that way because of how weak-kneed he got.

Cleaning out was easy and strengthened how much he wanted to try pegging tonight. He took a shower afterwards, just in case, and thought about last night.

You and Namjoon rarely take showers together. It’s a privacy thing and also a timing thing. Most of the times, one wants to take a shower while the other is still busy doing something else, of course you don’t want to force each other to shower, that would be ridiculous. Last night, Namjoon also took a shower alone while you were already in bed reading your book. He tried to touch himself last night, starting off by guiding the showerhead over his cock and jerking himself off. But soon his fingers wandered, feeling up his balls first, his inner thighs next until finally landing on his hole. He didn’t do much as he was too scared to go too far. He gave himself a simple massage, tracing himself along his puckered rim while the showerhead pleasured his cock. He did try to apply pressure once, but instantly stopped when it hurt. That was everything he did last night and as Namjoon prepared for the sex tonight, he replayed what happened. It went in so easily with the help of lube. Namjoon had to do everything in his power not to jerk off in the shower again.

After the shower, he asked you to come to the bathroom. You were by his side minutes later, asking him if he was doing alright.

“I cleaned out”, he told you.

“You did? How did it go? Was it weird?”

“No. No it…it made me hard”, he said and showed you his cock.

“Damn Joonie, you are so hard”, you gasped and reached for his hips.

“I know. Holy fuck, I can’t even breathe properly. My head’s a fucking mess.”

“What do I gotta do? I wanna help.”

That was when Namjoon dropped the towel completely and bent over with his elbows leaning against the sink counter, “I need you to put the buttplug in me. Please.”

“Yeah, I’m going to die tonight. I can feel it”, you said and did exactly that.

You followed what he told you to do, smothering the toy and his rim in lube to make it glide in easily. You tried, Namjoon breathed into the stretch and tried to relax but he was just too fucking tight.

“I don’t want to hurt you”, you said.

“You have to get it inside. How else should I get pegged?”

“I have an idea”, you said and then prepared him with a gentle massage.

Namjoon swore that it got hard to breathe. He thought that last night’s jerk off session already showed him how it felt to have his hole massaged, but nothing could have prepared him for when you touched him. His knees weakened and his body arched into you instinctively and soon, oh so very soon, you were able to bury a finger inside him.

“Shit, this is so hot”, you rasped while your otherwise so well-spoken boyfriend was lost for words and gasping for dear air.

That is how you prepared him for the plug. You started off with one, worked him up to two and ended it with three and Namjoon’s cock leaking on the rug with such desperation that a wet patch had already formed. And then, only then, were you able to fill his hole with the plug.

“Holy shit”, Namjoon croaked with his deep voice just slightly pitched and his long fingers gripping the edge of the mirror cabinet. It has a little platform for your lotions and tonight it also served as Namjoon’s only hope.

The stretch was unbearable at first. You had to kiss along his spine and jerk him off from behind until he stopped whining about the stretch and rather whined about wanting to cum. That is when you edged him, turning him into yet another mess because poor Joonie wanted to cum so fucking bad that it hurt. His stretched, little hole lied forgotten to him. Good. That’s why you did it.

“You’re done”, you told him and stepped back, placing your precum covered hands on his buttocks to spread him for you, “you seem to have relaxed quite a lot, mhm?”

“Holy shit, I wanna cum”, he begged and arched his back, “please allow me? Please?”

“No. No, we have to work our way up. I know you can do it.”

The buttplug Namjoon purchased came in a set of three. A small, a medium and large one. You started off with the medium sized one according to Namjoon’s wishes and wanted to use the opportunity of his already relaxed hole to take the next step. Namjoon agreed and so the play began anew. You replaced the medium sized plug with the large plug. Namjoon struggled to take it and even after you tried to fuck him open with the medium plug, refused to take it. More lube didn’t help either and so Namjoon fell to his knees and bent over. Right there and then on your ruined bathroom rug with his hands spread on the fluffy material and his back arched.

“Try it like this.”

“Don’t expect me to be normal after tonight. I hope you know that this is changing our relationship”, you told him and kneeled down behind him to work the huge plug into his well-presented hole.

It went smoothly this way. Namjoon trembled and moaned while you leaked all over the rug and pushed the toy deeper and deeper until the flat base sat snuggly against him.

“Holy fuck, holy shit. Holy fuck, I’m stuffed. Fuck, it burns”, he moaned and twisted the rug between his fingers, “I wanna cum.”

“Yeah same honestly”, you told him as your eyes stared at his plugged hole. So this is how your boyfriend looks there. Three years with him and you never thought about his hole that way, now you couldn’t get enough of him.

“Shit, do something please. The stretch is a lot”, he told you to which you helped him get back to his knees.

“To the bedroom, now. You’re gonna cockwarm me until it stops hurting.”

Which brings us to the current part of the evening. Namjoon is twitching and leaking deep inside you while the huge buttplug in his ass drives him to the brink of insanity.

“Please fuck me”, he begs, squeezing his trembling thighs together.

“Are you sure?”

“Yes”, he gasps out and tenses his body, “yes, please. I have to cum. Your pussy, my hole, I-ah.”

“Shit, you drive me insane”, you whisper, lifting yourself off his cock despite aching for more. His slick-covered dick flops against his stomach, leaking sadly as the once warm pleasure seizes to exist. His lower abs flex, a deep groan rumbles in his chest. You can feel it against your fingers as they massage his huge tits.

You release his pecs, shimmying yourself down his body until you can sit on his thighs instead. You feel up the mess his cock made on his tummy, holding his cock by its base so it wasn’t in the way. He is so wet from your pussy. Shit, you are so turned on. It shows in how white and creamy your juices look on him.

“You’ve got all messy, Joonie baby”, you taunt, dragging your fingers through his soiled pubes.

“Please fuck me”, he begs, focusing his eyes on you. They are half-lidded, yet terribly hazy, “please, I can’t take much more. Just fuck me.”

“Beg me one more time.”

“Please, please. Please fuck me, please.”

“Shit, that feels so good”, you say and drop his cock even if that makes him whine in sensitivity. You crawl off his lap, making him squirm because he knows exactly what that means. You climb off the bed, picking up the harness he bought for you. It was purple in colour and had a compartment for a grinder. If your boyfriend was one thing then he was attentive. Of course he would purchase a strap which would make sure that you will get as much pleasure as he will. No wonder you fall for this man day by fucking day.

Namjoon watches you put on the harness with heavy breaths moving his chest.

“I’m seriously fucked”, he says, “I’m so messed up, holy fuck. Are you also that horny?”

“Yeah”, you say in a breathy laugh, “I’ve already creamed your cock because of it.”

“Shit, I know. Shit, please hurry up. Fuck”, he babbles, arching his back while his head rolls to the other side, “I’m messed up. I’m so fucking messed up.”

“Me too honestly”, you say just as you finish up securing the dildo, “how do I look?”

Namjoon looks at you and laughs.

“Holy fuck”, he presses out, throwing his hand over his forehead, “I’m so fucked”, he laughs and squirms, “you’re so fucking hot. I won’t ever be normal again, baby.”

“Good”, you say, strutting back to bed. You feel confident and sexy now that Namjoon reacted so positively to your look. Truth be told, you are nervous. Having a cock – even if just silicon – feels unfamiliar to you and you feared that he might think you look weird with it.

His reaction washed away all of those insecurities and you can’t wait to actually use it on him.

You place yourself at the side of the bed, holding your silicon cock between your fingers.

“Come here, puppy”, you order.

Namjoon obeys with wobbly knees. He sits down on the edge of the bed, sinking into himself the moment pressure is applied to the plug. You can watch how it messes him up. You’ve never seen his eyes become droopier than they do right now.

You cup his cheek and run your left hand over his shoulder. He is face to face with your upper stomach when he sits on your bed, but looks up at you right now.

“What’s with that face?” you ask him.

“I’m so messed up”, he gets out, letting his head fall into your hand as his lids fight gravity.

“Yeah? Is the plug keeping you on edge?”

He nods his head, reaching for your waist. His thumbs brush over the straps of the harness, tracing it obsessively. His eyes, once focused on you, flit down to your strap.

“Please fuck me”, he begs, tugging you closer, “I can’t take it anymore. Everything hurts.”

“Get on all fours”, you order.

Namjoon obeys. He gets off bed and turns his back to you, crawling back on the mattress so he can present his ass to you in an arch of his back.

“There we go, so fucking sexy”, you praise him and run your hands to the plug. You pull it out carefully, moaning with Namjoon at how easily he release it. The visual of it makes your pussy throb. His pretty rim closes up more and more the less girthy the plug becomes until you pulled it out completely. You place it aside, watching with a racing heart as his stretched hole pushes out the access lube. It runs down his body until it makes a mess of his heavy balls.

“Holy fuck that’s the sexiest view I ever had”, you croak, touching his hole.

He tenses up and moans, pushing back into you.

“Your hole’s so soft, Joonie”, you rasp, massaging it slowly, “and it looks so…so open.”

“Open?”

“Yeah, it’s all soft and stretched out and I can really see that you’re loose. It’s not so puckered anymore”, you say and push your thumb inside, “shit, you’re burning up inside.”

“Please”, Namjoon pleads, twisting the sheets as his sculpted back shakes in a trembling breath, “please stop torturing me. I’ve already been through enough.”

“I love it when you talk like this”, you rasp and pull your thumb free. You reach for the lube bottle, opening it to prepare your strap.

“Hurry up”, Namjoon stresses.

“I am, be patient”, you throw back, “I want to make sure that it’s lubed up well.”

“I’m so messed up, seriously fuck.”

“Mhm, I’m already done”, you say and step closer, guiding the tip of your strap to his hole. You rub circles on it, pushing his hips down to make it easier to reach him.

Namjoon lowers himself gladly, gripping the sheets in anticipation.

“Ready?”

“Yes, please.”

“Take a deep breath”, you say and push.

Namjoon can’t take a deep breath. No, Namjoon can barely exhale, let alone inhale, as the sensation of being breached knocks every sense of sanity out of him. He should be used to it by now because you fingered him and used plugs on him, but this is different. This is so much more.

“Holy shit”, Namjoon lets out and whimpers. His normally deep and manly voice pitches as the smallest and subbiest of whimpers escapes him. His big, strong body grows limp as he drops into the sheets. Like this, he is resting in child’s pose, arching his ass into you while his fingers reach above his head and twist the sheets, “holy shit…. ____”, his second whimper is muffled by the sheets, but you hear it nonetheless.

“You’re taking me so well”, you press out with a trembling voice, using his hips as the only support. It takes everything inside you not to pass out from pleasure. To have your big, manly boyfriend reduced to a small, whimpering mess does things to you. Bear in mind, Namjoon has been submissive with you before, but never like this. This isn’t like him and yet as you have him clenching around your strap while his throat produces a squeak, he has never looked more like himself than he does right now.

You bottom out, gripping his buttocks to spread him on your strap. You give him one second of getting used to it and then you begin moving, watching with blow-out pupils as his hole bends to your will. It stretches right around your girth, moving in synch with your slow movements.

“Holy-”, Namjoon slams his hand onto the mattress for the sole purpose of gripping even more of the sheets. His body convulses, his hips lift off and try to fuck back onto your strap. “fuck. Ah ah-aha ah, p-please ah.”

“I’m not even kidding, Joonie. I don’t know if I can hold out for long”, you confess, dimpling his shaking hips, “I’m so horny.”

“Me too”, he whimpers, “me too, please ___, please don’t stop, please it feel so good.”

“It feels good?”

“So good”, he mewls, tugging on the sheets, “holy shit, it feels so good”, he presses out and the way his voice trembles makes it sound as if he was crying.

“Shit Joonie, I’m actually gonna pass out”, you growl and broaden your stance with the only goal of fucking him harder. You pick up your pace, helping his hips meet you with a strong grip.

Namjoon’s whimpers turn into breathy gasps and even higher squeaks. He rolls his head to the side, giving view to his ruined state. His bangs are stuck to his sweaty forehead, his cheeks are flushed red and from his squeezed-shut eyes the smallest droplets of tears seem to escape. You’ve got him crying in pleasure.

You knees buckle and for just a second it gets hard to move, but then Namjoon moans so desperately for you and you know that you have to be stronger than the ruin he drags you into. You pull him onto your strap, switching your gaze between his stuffed hole and his ruined face. His lips part as his throat produces the subbiest of moans over and over again. They are deeper when you pull back and pitch whenever you bottom out.

“Yes puppy, keep moaning for me”, you encourage him, rewarding him with smooth rolls of your hips.

“I have to cum soon”, he confesses as he continues to squeak like the babiest of babyboys.

He drags his hand down the sheets until he can wipe it over his own eyes, “oh god, I can’t stop crying”, he whines and lets out a sob, squeezing his hand over his eyes, “please ___ don’t edge me again, please.”

“I don’t think I can”, you are panting by now, dripping sweat. Fucking is difficult, but so goddamn rewarding. You finally understand why Namjoon wants to keep fucking you even if his body is tired. The reward of getting to make him moan and shake and fucking cry in pleasure is so worth any kind of muscle fatigue.

“___”, you reduced his vocabulary to your name and only your name. He can’t stop moaning it, whimpering it, sobbing it. His toes are curling, his back keeps tensing and flexing and his well-fucked hole keeps fluttering around your strap. Almost as if he wanted to suck you deeper in, to keep you close, to make it last forever.

Your name leaves him again, his mouth stays agape afterwards, allowing him to drool all over the sheets. His cheek is squished so cutely, but you can’t see anything cute about him right now. He is so hot. You need to fuck him until he orgasms. You need to show him that sex with you will be the best fucking sex he’ll ever have (he already knows and you know that he knows, you just like showing off).

“Yeah, you keep moaning my name. I’ve got you shaking so good”, you encourage him and get on your tiptoes just so you can angle yourself deeper. You manage to do so, but what you also manage to do is angle your strap exactly right that it hits his prostate.

“Ah!” Namjoon screams up and shakes in ways you have never seen him shake before.

“Hurts?!” you gasp.

“Please! There!”

“Fuck, okay. There”, you press out and repeat what you did before. His hole swallows you entirely, his body shakes in indescribable ways, his throat produces sounds foreign to your ears. You do it again. You fuck him. And again. Again. Again. Fucking again. Holy fuck again. Shit, he keeps moaning so much. Again. Look at him shake. Again. Again. You can’t stop. This is rewriting the way you look at him.

“Namjoon”, you moan, thrusting into him with passionate vigour, “Namjoon, my Joonie. My pretty Joonie. Holy fuck, my Joonie.”

Once more. Namjoon is a crying, snotty mess by now. His body is ruined. One more thrust. Deep. Hard. Right where he needs it.

“I’m cumming!” he somehow gets out and then loses control over himself. He doesn’t know how to describe it. There are honestly no words which could. He always thought that he knew his own body and that he already learned how to orgasm the hardest he could. He was wrong. This is the hardest he ever orgasmed in his twenty nine years of life and he is quite frankly scared. He begs for you, not knowing what exactly he is begging for. He sobs into the sheets, bites them because otherwise he would scream his throat sore. He hurts his fingers from gripping the sheets and ruins his own body by emptying his balls to the point where he can’t produce any more. At some point of this soul-changing experience he heard you moan out a shaky “you’re making me cum” followed by your own ecstatic moans.

When you both finally calm down, your heads hurt and your lungs work overtime to get air into them. You plop down on Namjoon, resting your sweaty cheek against his equally as sweaty back. Your head lifts and sink in sync with his frantic panting.

“Fuck”, you get out.

Your arms snake around his torso, hugging him close. Namjoon feels the walls crumble at the touch.

“F-fuck”, he presses out, coughing out a small desperate sob afterwards.

“Joonie?” you gasp, lifting your head, “are you okay?”

“Hug me please”, he begs.

“Hey, I’m here”, you assure him. You pull out of him gently and flip him over with his help. then you drag him into a sitting position, hugging him against your chest.

His weakened arms wrap around you instantly, his heart swells in his chest and grows so incredibly warm. He is still shivering, but he doesn’t feel frightened by it anymore. You are playing with his hair and kissing his head and this is all he needs.

“Are you okay? Did I hurt you?”

“No, I’m so”, he stutters, “so o-overwhelmed. S-sorry.”

“Don’t apologise for that. I understand, I’m overwhelmed too”, you assure him and squeeze him closer, “I never heard you scream like this.”

“I never s-screamed before. Not, not for sex”, he hiccups once as he tries to regulate his breathing, “fuck, I-I’m messed up.”

“Lean into me, I’m here”, you promise him, rocking your bodies from side to side gently while Namjoon leans into you and sighs.

Some moments of silence pass where you rock him and he hugs you close. You share warmth this way and truly feel the other. The room got terribly dark while you fucked. If you hadn't been so clever and turned on the bedside table lamp as precaution, you would be standing in darkness right now. The coziness of it really seeps into your consciousness now that your minds weren’t clouded by insane desire.

Namjoon is the one who breaks the hug. Somehow at least. His arms still stay around your waist, but his head lifts so he could look at you. A few tears sit on his dark lashes, but otherwise he looks so entirely happy.

“I love you”, he says and smiles with his eyes before his lips curl into a smile as well.

“I love you too”, you answer him without hesitation, wiping the remnant tears from his cheeks, “are you feeling better?”

“Yes, thank you”, he says, leaning into your touch, “for everything. Thank you for literally everything. I know this was new and maybe a little weird at first, so thank you for doing this with me and for not judging me.”

“Hey, don’t thank me for that. I didn’t think it was weird at all. On the contrary, I had so much fun that it’s hard to put into words”, you say and pull his head up just a little so you could be closer. Like this, his cheeks squish together and make him look so adorable. Your eyes race between his’ as you talk. Namjoon can see how utterly and maddeningly in love you are with him. He feels the same. He fell so much deeper for you tonight.

“Really?” he asks.

“Yes really. I was nervous at first, because it was new.”

“Of course.”

“But I didn’t feel weird for even a second and I genuinely mean it that I’m looking at you differently now, because the way you moaned tonight changed me.”

“Really?” he asks in a shy laugh.

“Yes, really. You were so hot, Joonie and if you want to do it again I will say yes without hesitation.”

“I want to do it again”, Namjoon says, “I felt so good.”

“Me too, Joonie. I felt amazing.”

Namjoon lets out a shy giggle and hugs you against him. You hug him back instantly, playing with his hair.

“I want to nap. I’m so tired”, he mumbles into your chest.

“Same. We could clean up and then nap together.”

“Yes, I’d like that a lot”, Namjoon says with a smile on his lips. He can’t stop smiling. You’ve got him so goddamn giddy.

757 notes · View notes

peachypinkygloss · 9 months

Note

Hi! congrats on 2k followers ♡ The trope would be Idol!Namjoon x non Idol!reader, and actually just something smut & fluff is okay, like in a new relationship, please.

Thank u ^^

(I'm not a minor dw)

thank you for your support, lovely ): 🤍 means so much to me x love u, mwah 💋 xox

sweaty and steamy

Namjoon is very busy with work so you decide to visit him at his studio. You both end up sweaty and steamy.

pairing: idol/bf!namjoon x non-idol!reader

genre: established relationship, idol au, smut, fluff

warnings: namjoon's the best bf obvi, unprotected sex, studio sex 👀, praising, clit stimulation, a little under 1k.

a.n.: the first thing that came to my mind was studio sex... i mean, can you really blame me? 🥺

This is part of my 2k milestone celebration! Here is the post for the drabble game if you want to participate and send in a request of yours! 🤍

♡・2k celebration masterlist・♡

Namjoon is a very busy person. Not surprising considering the job he has, but sometimes he really dedicates his whole day to his music. It's not a bad thing, he's always productive and hardworking, all of that amplified because he's genuinely passionate about what he does.

You try not to be jealous. After all, he's not replacing you or ignoring you for his lyrics. You know that because he makes it a priority to call you at the end of each day, reminding you how grateful and happy he is to be your boyfriend.

Despite the relationship being new, Namjoon isn't afraid to show his emotions and that's what you like about him. His ability to express what he feels in such a meaningful way, with beautiful and poetic words, makes you fall in love with him over and over again.

Dating an idol is not easy, especially with one who has such a tight schedule, but you both make it work. For example, you like to visit him at his studio whenever you're free from work. You go support him and bring him some food.

You usually don't stay long either because you have to go back to your office or because he has to get back on what he's working at the moment. But sometimes, like right now, it happens you get a little bit distracted and stay longer than you're supposed to.

"Fuck, baby," Namjoon breathes out, throwing his head back against his desk chair. His hands are holding your hips, guiding you over his hard cock. His chest heaves fast, out of breath with you bouncing on his lap. "What a good girl, feels so fucking good."

You whine in response, also having an irregular breath. Your hands are on his naked shoulders, nails digging into his soft and tan skin, leaving behind crescent forms all over his flesh.

You're still not used to his size, being so big he stretches you out really well. It's a bit painful, a burning sensation making you moan, but the feeling is addicting, exhilarating.

"I love it," you admit, having Namjoon's cock nestled deep inside your pussy. You circle your hips, his tip brushing against your sweet spot and making you want more, always more.

He smiles, showing off his cute dimples and straight teeth. "Me too," he agrees. "Love these," he adds on while groping your tits in his big palms, gently pulling on your hardened nipples.

You mewl in his hands, doing a grind motion with your hips. He seems amazed to see you using him to pleasure yourself, finding it hot of you, being so turned on he feels his dick twitch inside of you.

He lets go of your breasts and watches them jiggle on your chest, licking his plump lips at the sight. He won't lie, this must become his new favourite position. The other positions are going to be tasteless compared to that one and all of this will be your fault because you can't just ride him like that and expect him to not become obsessed.

Your slick covers his pelvis and even the inner of his thighs, cock slipping in so smoothly by how wet you are. He knows his studio will smell like sex after that and he doubts anyone who enters won't notice. The odour is strong, but nothing repulsive in his opinion, on the contrary, he adores it.

He won't forget this moment that's for sure. He even believes nothing will surpass it, unless you decide to ride him with that much determination from now on.

It must be because of his work, of how badly you miss him every time he's not with you. He feels guilty, he doesn't like being so busy it stops him from seeing you, especially when you're a new couple. Honestly, sometimes he would drop everything and spend the entirety of his day with you, but he can't do that, which really sucks.

But if moments like these can make up for the wasted time, then he's satisfied.

He feels you clench around him and grip on his shoulders, hiding your face in the crook of his neck. "God... baby, are you close?" Namjoon asks and you nod, moaning sweetly against his ear. "I got you," he announces, his voice husky and low, making you shiver.

One of his hands slides between your bodies and reaches for your pulsating clit, massaging it with his thumb. Your moans start getting louder and he grunts, feeling his balls tightening.

He plants his feet on the floor and thrusts up into you, your thighs shaking as your high approaches really fast. "I'm close too, fuck," he curses under his breath, circling your clit as he fucks you, a hand on the back of your head to keep you close to him.

"I'm cumming-!" You squeak, bucking your hips as your orgasm shoots through you. Your walls close around him tightly and he groans, your high bringing him to his own.

His thighs tense under you, big and strong, hips coming to a halt. "That's it, fuck," he moans and he finally comes undone into your pussy, painting your walls white with his cum. His cock twitches, spilling the last bit of cum he has.

He pats your hair, trying to catch his breath as you do the same, boobs squished against his chest. After some time, a comfortable silence settles between the two of you and you push yourself off him.

You face him and can't help but smile, biting down on your lip. You kiss him, a way to thank him for being with you.

You're happy and he is, too.

#🍑 [drabble game]#requests #bts fanfic #bts fanfiction #bts drabble #bts smut #bts x reader #bts fluff #namjoon fanfic #namjoon fanfiction #namjoon smut #namjoon drabble #namjoon x reader

870 notes · View notes

shina913 · 9 months

Text

Nothing | KNJ

Pairing: KNJ x Fem!Reader

Rating: 🔞 M; NSFW

Genre: Established relationship; slice of life; smut; pwp with some fluff

Warnings: Cussing; fingering; oral (F-receiving); hot and sweaty unprotected sex in a committed, monogamous relationship; dirty talk; ass-slapping (his and hers); semi-rough sex; subtle switch behavior; creampie

Word count: 2.1K+ words

Summary: If there was anything that made you feel un-sexy, it was heat and humidity.

A/N: Nothing like horny word vomit to break my writing drought--thanks, Namjoon for hopping on Weverse live today leading me and @roaminginthenights to collectively lose our shit and spiral into some deep, clownery abyss 🤪

"I told you we should have bought that air conditioner when it was on sale!" You grumble in bed. Your portable tower fan was fighting for its life, failing to cool you both down.

You've both been tossing and turning in bed for over an hour. You’re in the midst of a heatwave this week, and although it usually cools down in the evenings, there was no reprieve tonight. To make matters worse, it was also humid.

"That air conditioner was still $300 even with the discount," Namjoon points out. "Besides, it's a rare hot day where we live. We just need to tough it out for two more days and then it will be cooler again. It would just take up unnecessary space! Plus, who knows how much that thing would add to our gas bill?”

Damn him and his logic. It was great most of the time, but for this particular hot evening, you hated it.

“They make one of those energy-saver models. We shouldn’t have to suffer like this,” you pout.

“Baby, we need to lower our carbon footprint. This excessive heat is an effect of climate change,” he opines, rolling over to wrap his arm around your waist. The warmth radiating from his skin makes you recoil.

"Ugh, you’re too hot." You swat his hand away, unable to tolerate his current body temperature. Snuggling up to him was great in the winter but during the summer? Not so much.

Feeling rejected, he gets up to head toward the bathroom. “That’s it! I’m taking a cold shower.”

“Again?” He’d already taken three today. “What happened to lowering our carbon footprint?”

“It’s just a quick one. Besides, do you have better ideas to cool off?”

You didn’t.

While Namjoon takes a shower, you suddenly notice your shirt and sleep shorts becoming stickier by the second. In a moment of desperation, you get up to open the windows wider, hoping to increase air circulation in the room. Afterward, you return to bed, strip down to your panties, and flop onto your stomach.

Namjoon shuffles out of the bathroom a few minutes later. Then, you feel the mattress dip and his hand landing on your ass cheek with a smack.

“Woah–what–”

Your head whips around to find a look of hunger in his eyes. “Were you trying to surprise me?”

“Chill,” you reply with a laugh. “It was just too hot. I had to get rid of some layers.”

“Mm-hm,” he hums skeptically. “You should sleep naked more often.” He continues to squeeze your flesh, his voice husky.

You snort. “Doubtful. You know how much I love my pajamas! Besides, sleeping naked is your thing.”

"I know, but this is an unexpected treat," he purrs. He starts kissing the small of your back and then moves up your spine. The feel of his lips on your skin instinctively turns you on, but if there was anything that made you feel un-sexy, it was heat and humidity.

Namjoon didn’t care. The way he touched and kissed your body, he only had one thing in his mind and he was determined to make it happen.

You sigh, turning to face him. “You know I don’t like having sex in this weather.”

He stares at you with deep, dark eyes, already blown out from arousal. “But you don’t even need to do anything. Just lay there and I’ll do all the work,” he offers. “Please?”

In this heat, excessive movement would only make you more hot and sweaty than you already were.

As for his generous offer to pleasure you without the expectation of reciprocation, how could you refuse? The idea of being a pillow princess for the night was enticing. You nod and acquiesce. “Fine. Continue.”

Grinning, he dips down to kiss you. You kiss him back, sliding your tongue along his, savoring him. He moves to place a trail of kisses down your neck and onto your chest, pausing to flick each hard nipple with his tongue.

You’re nearly lost in the moment when you feel him strip your panties off, his mouth watering to taste you. You put your hands over to block him, attempting to cover up.

“No, I’m all gross down there,” you protest.

Now it was his turn to swat your hands away. “I don’t care. I want you like this.”

He lowers his head before you can say another word. With one broad lick, your back arches off the mattress with a gasp. Weather aside, your body can’t help it. He knew how to make you feel good.

The moans and sounds of satisfaction he hums against your flesh make you writhe against his mouth uncontrollably. He flits his tongue over in slow, rhythmic motions. Once your breaths grow ragged, he rubs the pad of his thumb over your clit in rapid circles, making you cum with a harsh cry.

He kisses your inner thigh before rising to capture your lips. You could taste traces of your arousal on him, but he didn't stop there. His fingers delve right back into your cleft, stroking over your clit and skimming the opening. As you groan with your lips pressed to his, you greedily grind your hips in response.

“Want more?” He mumbles against your lips.

“Yes,” you breathe out.

Smirking, he fingers you leisurely, building your need. You shudder as he cups you in his hand, his middle and forefinger sliding lazily into you. His palm rubs against your clit, his fingertips stroking over sensitive tissues above.

“Fuck, you’re so wet for me,” he rasps.

Whatever he was doing felt inadequate to you now. You needed to feel all of him. “Joon, please,” you beg.

“Please, what?” He teases.

“I want you now.” You reach between you and palm him through his boxers.

“Do you? I thought you hated fucking in the heat.”

You let out a low growl. "I know what I said! I just...please." You curl your fingers around him, giving him a nice squeeze, hoping he'll submit. He bites down on his lower lip, stifling a moan.

In retaliation, he applies gentle pressure to the roof of your core, causing it to swell and inching you closer to the edge.

“Tell me what you want.”

It took you a moment to come back to your senses before uttering, “I want to ride you.”

His eyebrows lift in surprise. Yes, you didn’t want to be all sweaty but you were turned on to the point of no return.

“You sure? I don’t mind doing all the work.” He continues to tease that same bundle of flesh in you that he’s so intimately familiar with. You clench your insides in response, not wanting to cum just yet.

You slip your hand past his waistband, thumbing the precum beading on the tip. You needed him inside you, but you wanted to be in control.

“Mm, no. I want to be on top.” You tilt your head up and tug at his lip with your teeth.

He laughs low and huskily. “Whatever my lady wants...”

The moment he pulls away to sit up against the headboard, you spring up and pull his boxers off. You reach for his cock, gripping him firmly, pumping him from root to tip. He tilts his head, eyes rolling back in a groan.

You knew his body well, too; knew what he needed and desired. While you straddle him, he catches your hips and looks up at you.

“Ride me hard, yeah?”

The air in the room was thick and you’d be dripping in sweat by the time you were done with him. Still, your core clenches reflexively at the challenge.

He releases you, spreading his arms wide to grip the sides of the headboard. His biceps bulged with the pose. Seeing his bare chest glistening with sweat, his abdomen tightening in anticipation–it turned you on wildly.

You reach over to the side of his head for balance and wrap your free hand around his cock. A muscle in his neck twitches as you rub the tip against your folds, back and forth, coating him with your slick.

You let the first inch push in, letting it stretch you before slowly bearing down, drawing out a moan as you feel him so deep in you.

“Fuck,” he bit out, shuddering once you take him to the hilt.

You lift again, slowly, making you both feel every nuance of that mind-numbing friction. Then, you slam back down, the fullness, the connection, was too delicious to contain. He shifts restlessly, his hips moving in a tight circle, wanting to feel more of you.

“You feel so good,” you whisper, stroking his cock with your aching cunt. Sliding up and down his length.

“That’s the spot, baby. Make me cum,” he bit out, his knuckles white from his grip on the headboard. You wondered if he was just holding on or physically restraining himself from reaching for you.

Your hands snake up to your chest, cupping your tits and tugging on your nipples to egg him on.

“Gimme,” he demands softly, his mouth hanging open, beckoning you to lean closer. You oblige and watch as his cheeks hollow in suction. His teeth graze your nipple, making your insides clench more tightly around him.

You drop your hips again, putting the weight of your body behind it, surging through with a groan. You loved the feel of him. His breath puffs out of his lungs with every plunge. You were hot, he was sweltering. Together, you were both radiating heat like a furnace. Up…down…up…down. Your thighs, ass, stomach, and core tightening, burning with every lift, squeezing him from root to tip.

You fucked him with everything you had. His breaths hissing out through clenched teeth once your ass claps against his thighs.

Unable to hold back any longer, he releases his grip on the bed. He grabs you by the waist and restrains your movements, holding himself deep.

He squints his eyes at you. “My turn.”

“Yes,” you gasped, wound up tight with anticipation.

His cock pushes into you. You whimper, your entire body thrumming with excitement. He held your hands down, his thighs between yours, keeping you spread wide so he could sink deep. Over and over. His thrusts were unfaltering, determined.

His jaw clenches, brows furrowing as he inches closer to his climax.

“Harder, Namjoon,” you choke out.

You hold onto him for dear life while he pounds relentlessly into you. You hear his breath catch on every muffled groan while he fucks into you.

“Yes, yes, yes…” You sob helplessly with every slam of his hips.

“Fuck, fuck, I’m cum—ahh…” He presses his forehead against yours before finishing his sentence. A long, deep growl rumbles from him as his hips jerk, gasping your name.

His spurting triggers the hypersensitive nerves in you. Next thing you know, your body shivers from another intense orgasm. You let out a long, drawn-out sigh, feeling relief flow out of you.

You collapse in his arms, your flushed cheeks resting on his shoulder. You were both panting and covered in sweat.

He lifts you gingerly off him, setting you onto the mattress. You lift your head lazily and turn to him. You reach out blindly, suddenly feeling how damp the sheets were beneath you.

“Shit, did we sweat that much?” You sit up to inspect the damage.

“Yes. And you also squirted all over me,” he laughs.

Your hand flies up to your mouth in surprise. “Oh my god, I did? For real?”

He nods, still laughing. “Yeah. I felt it gush out of you.”

“Oh my gosh, I’m so sorry.”

“Don’t be. It was fucking hot,” he replies enthusiastically. He reaches for his boxers and moves toward you to clean you up.

You wave him off. “Nah, it’s useless. I’m going to hop in the shower.”

You roll out of bed and walk to to the bathroom in shaky legs. When you stop to grab a towel from the linen closet, you notice him following behind you.

“What do you think you’re doing?”

“I thought the shower was an invitation,” he smiles michievously.

“Don’t,” you warn, giving him a stern look. Eventually, a laugh slips out.

“I can keep my hands to myself.” He says innocently. “Besides, we’re in a drought. We need to conserve water.”

You roll your eyes at this practicality and shake your head. “You and your water and energy conservation.”

“Hey, if it wasn’t for me not buying that air conditioner, we wouldn’t have had mind-blowing sex tonight…and you wouldn’t have squirted like that,” he chuckles.

Touché.

But instead of giving him the satisfaction, you glower playfully at him and smack him on his bare ass, making him howl in laughter.

Nothing Masterlist | Main Fic Masterlist

You’ve reached the end! Thank you so much for reading!

If you loved it, please comment, reblog, or send me feedback! 📩. I love hearing from readers! If you didn’t like it so much, I would still like to hear about it. Help me become a better writer! 💜

#bts fanfiction #namjoon x reader #namjoon x you #bts smut #namjoon smut #namjoon fanfiction #kim namjoon #bts namjoon #knj smut #nothing x knj

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jeonsbabygirlsworld · 3 months

Text

SPECIAL GIFT

SUMMARY: And when your husband brings you your desired anniversary gift…

PAIRINGS : Jungkook, husband Namjoon x wife reader

WORD COUNT : 1.5k

SMUT WARNINGS : Unprotected sex , cream pie to maximum, oral (m,f) , spanking a bit , spitting , doggy style 😏😏

A/n : Thankyou for requesting the namkook smut I hope this was okay :) reblog and comments are always appreciated ❤️YALL please don’t let it flop I actually worked really hard 😔😬 and this is also a little something for 800+followers ❤️❤️

It was yours and Namjoon's fifth anniversary and you wanted something much more special than some gifts so here you are waiting for your husband to come home, you dress up in black lingerie, you hear the front door opening and you find to see your husband looking so sexy in his office attire, you almost didn't want to leave your husband this morning but alas work is work.

Namjoon offers you his dimple smile and hands you the bouquet of tiger lily, taking them, he lays a small kiss on your lips "Well happy anniversary my love and you look so gorgeous baby" he says and goes for a long kiss this time "thank you my love, and I hope you haven't forgotten on what I want, I want hi-" you get interrupted by the doorbell.

"It's here Jagi," Namjoon says and opens the door, you don't know how your husband convinced him and you don't even care you needed him and here he is Jeon Jungkook who works under your husband in the office, you've met him so many times whether it maybe an office party or get together or you randomly coming to meet your husband you've never missed batting an eye on him and Namjoon knows about it so here he is your anniversary gift.

Jungkook gasps seeing you in a revelling lingerie never used to see you in these clothes "Hey Jungkook, how are you? Listen just come inside and you know her, this my wife." your husband introduces you both and you urge him to take a seat on the sofa.

Jungkook seems a bit nervous, of course, he will be he is about fuck his coworker's wife, you sit right next to him, and your fingers start to move over his thighs, and you lay soft teasing kisses on his Jawline, Jungkook jumps on his seat, and you see some goosebumps rising on his arms "Jungkook would you like to drink something? wine maybe?" Namjoon asks dragging you both out of the slumber.

While the man next just simply nods and Namjoon heads to the kitchen to fetch some wine and your teasing never stops, your hand stubbly moves towards the hard bulge straining against his pants, a breathy moan of your name leaves his mouth, and your husband is back with a glass of wine and passes over to him, quickly gulping it Jungkook gives you a small smile and you crash a kiss on his lips moaning at the tinge of strawberry.

"Honey, you take him to the room ill catch up in a few" Namjoon says and you rise from the couch and extend your hand and guide him to yours and Namjoon's shared room, Jungkook is seated in the bed when you go down on your knees "This okay? Let me know if when I should stop" You ask and start zipping down his pants with the boxers now down, Jungkook's hard length slaps his lower abdomen making him hiss a bit because of the chilly air and your warm palm coming in contact.

You start slow, only sucking on his tip and coaxing his precum to leak more," Y/n" a groan leaves his mouth, and the sucking soon turns into slurping you get his cock wet and Jungkook makes a ponytail of your hair from his hand and pushes you further on himself slowly letting off his shyness.

You hear the clinking of a belt right behind you and you see your husband undressing himself, Jungkook above you tells you that's what he wants when you go down to lick right behind his balls. "Like that kook? "You ask him your eyes a bit teary from the gagging and the saliva dripping down from the corner off your it is messy.

Humming he pushes your head more and hums and yes's leave his mouth "Feels good y/n" Jungkook moans out loud and spits down in his cock so it could messier after a few minutes of you palming and sucking his salty cum fills your mouth "Yeah that's my girl" Namjoon says while he looks at both of you.

Not registering what happened Jungkook gets you on your feet and pushes you onto the bed immediately hovering above you and kissing you roughly, he leans down to mark your neck and dark purple hickeys are now fresh on your neck, licking them once again he done. The lingerie is removed by him, and you are soon naked completely bare, and your pussy lips are coated in your slick.

Jungkook comes face to face, and you let out a whine "So wet y/n" Jungkook's says in a raspy voice and your hands curl over the mattress above you and you look over to your husband palming his hard cock "so good kook, more-" you are cut off by Jungkook placing a kiss on your clit and spitting up on your opening.

"You sound so pretty when you moan y/n "The man between your legs never stops praising you and slowly fingerfucks you, his long fingers reach your spot within a few minutes and purr out a sweet little cry of his name and Jungkook smirks looking at you like this.

You never fail to tell your husband how good Jungkook is making you and you swear you see stars when he rubs the ball of your clit while his fingers destroy your insides "How does it feel y/n?" He says when goes to make out with your clit spitting on it and placing small kisses and rubbing making you messier.

you reach down to grab Jungkook's hair to push him out because you were about to squirt the menace between you coaxes you to cum on his fingers and the last rub on your clit makes so squirt so hard and you see white, Jungkook places a small kiss and rises from in between your legs.

Namjoon joins you both on the bed while Jungkook makes you turn around on your knees so he can fuck you from behind, Jungkook enters you without any thought and cries out a moan, your husband seats himself in front of you and gets his cock sucked, the vibrations you make send him to the edge, Jungkook groans at the tightness of your pussy and starts hammering you from behind "Fuck my mouth Joon, want you to cum inside my mouth" you say and go back to fondle the heavy balls stored full of his cum and you slick up his cock.

Jungkook buries himself into the hilt waiting for your reaction and testing the water, a bulge forms on your lower belly and you croak out to tell him to go on "Oh fuck Jungkook" loud moans, cry and skin slapping resound the room, and an intoxicating smell surrounds the room.

At one-point Jungkook grabs your hair from behind and gives a particularly hard thrust which makes you let out your husband's cock from the mouth "Try not to cum kook, her pussy is worth it" Namjoon says looking over at Jungkook while he just nods the clenching making it tuff for him to slide inside further "loosen up baby, wanna slide in further" Jungkook slaps your ass while speaking to you.

It made it harder for Jungkook to not cum when you clenched around him this much "So good, the best in the world y/n" Whines left from his mouth and your husband soon came in your mouth while you overstimulated his with laying kisses behind his balls and licks from his balls to cock, humming at the salty taste.

Jungkook finally cums inside you making it even messier, some of his cum dripped down the sheets and you will worry about them later now you just enjoy being filled. Changing positions once again you are now facing Jungkook, and your ass is presented to your husband, your husband teases you by rubbing his cock between your pussy lips and you cock over to Jungkook and take his cock in your mouth both moaning in unison, the room is again surrounded by loud noises.

Jungkook backs away when he feels overwhelmed by your sucking you cry from the pleasure your husband was giving you "Kook choke me wanna cum so bad." you say in a rushed manner the thrusts making it almost impossible for you to speak "Ah fuck I'm gonna cum, just kiss me kook I can't take it anymore" you say and the man in front of you and bends down to give you the kiss you wanted.

Namjoon continues to deliver hard thrusts spanking your ass occasionally, sliding out to see your cum milking his cock white creamy rings start to form at the base of his cock and groans soon filling up with cum and collapsing on top of you.

Jungkook soon gets Ready to leave you after he calms down from his orgasm and your husband takes care of your cleanup and hands him some spare clothes so he can wash up and go home in fresh clothes..

When he is about to go you grab his soft hands and stand on your tip toes "Thank you for being here kook, I enjoyed this." you say letting out a giggle when he says "Anytime" and leaves you both......

TAGLIST :

@kimmingyuswifee @jungk97kwife @jk-hoe97 @cassies-cookies @ohsweetmimosa @aretha170 @galaxygirl453

#bts #bts jungkook #jungkook x reader #jungkook smut #jungkook fic #jungkook fanfic #btssmut #bts one shot #bts x reader #bts fanfic #namjoon x y/n #namjoon x reader #namjoon smut #namjoon fic #namjoon fanfiction #namjoon oneshot #namkook #smut #jungkook

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eoieopda · 1 year

Text

lacuna (knj)

lacuna (n): a blank space, a missing part

In his twenty-eight years, Kim Namjoon had made countless mistakes. Most of them were insignificant and could be shoved easily enough into the back corner of his mind. The worst of them were all tied for first place, keeping him up at night.

Loving you, losing you, and now – picking up the phone.

Pairing: Ex!Kim Namjoon x Fem!Reader Type: One-Shot (Angst, Smut - 18+ or else.) Word Count: Like, 7K (?!) Content: ex-boyfriend au; exes to something?; literally so much angst; yearning; pov switches; oral sex (f receiving); unprotected sex; p in v penetration; cursing; texts from Yoongi. A/N: For reasons unknown, I decided to break my own heart today! The lyrics you'll see below are from "Sooner" by The Low Blow. There's also a reference to one of my favorite tv shows at the end - did you catch it? (1/9/23) The sequel, Redamancy, is finally here! (3/17/23) There is now a playlist 🥲

Sitting cross-legged on the rug, your weary, unfocused eyes stared somewhere in the vicinity of Min Yoongi. Shrouded all in black, you nearly assumed he was your sleep paralysis demon, hunched over his keyboard with his eyes narrowed in thought – but you hadn’t slept much at all lately. Not with your deadline looming overhead like the sword of Damocles.

He relayed what was already looping through your brain. “It’s missing something.”

You scrubbed your hands over your face, too burnt out to care if your foundation stayed where it was supposed to. “I know,” was all you said, though it wasn’t all you were thinking. Listening to this demo – this crushing song about love lost – you knew what was missing.

Or rather, who.

Once again reading your mind, Yoongi spoke with a wary sigh. This time, he said the quiet part out loud. “Listen, I know that on a personal level, this is a terrible idea. But if you really want this track to ache –”

“I’ll call him.”

Yoongi turned to look at you over his shoulder. He, like you, hadn’t slept in over twenty-four hours; but his surprise still managed to crack through an otherwise impassive expression.

“You sure you want to be the one?” His frown was microscopic, but it was there and it bruised. “I have to hit him up, anyway, so I can handle this for you.”

You’d never told him – or any of your friends, come to think of it – the details of your whatever it was with Namjoon. You couldn’t call it a breakup; that would necessitate a relationship. You couldn’t comfortably assign that word to this indescribable something.

But maybe that’s precisely why it hurt to breathe when you thought too hard about it. Maybe the thing that burned in your lungs was the fact that whatever it was wasn’t much of anything at all.

The universally known narrative was that you met Kim Namjoon at a release party two years prior. After years of putting out extended plays, he was dropping his highly anticipated, full-length masterpiece.

That’s what your label called it; that’s what the press called it; but you couldn’t agree. That word wasn’t heavy enough – it didn’t give due credit to the pieces of himself he broke down and buried within those twelve tracks. You felt seen when you heard it. When you saw him, it was game over.

As the story goes, you went home with him that night. While true, it was the tiniest fragment sitting sharp at the tip of an iceberg. The rest was an ill-equipped ship, sailing in slow-motion through the dark.

He'd spent the entirety of his celebration focused on you. What you thought; what you wanted for yourself; what made that tipsy, uninhibited giggle come flying out of your chest. And then, holding his hand like it’d been tailor-made for yours, you followed his lead out of there while confused partygoers murmured in your wake.

He fucked you like he knew you – on a cellular level – and he looked at you like you were all there was. You’d spent the entirety of the following day there, draped over him or nestled underneath him. You were never not touching in some way – in the little interludes of sleep; while cooking a breakfast too big for the two of you alone; on every surface of his apartment.

He changed your life in those twenty-four hours, but not enough for it to stick.

You’d spent as much time with him as you could in the year afterward, until your twin ambitions sent you both rocketing in other directions. Your various obligations never allowed you to be in the same place for long; and when they did, it was over too soon. No amount of time would ever feel like enough, but half a day, here and there, felt like a cosmic joke.

Like the universe was punishing you for wanting everything, all at once.

Eventually, you came to a fork in the road. His career, though international, was rooted in Korea – home. Yours took you to Los Angeles, to a vastly different time zone, and a schedule that refused to make space. And you tried, but when it came down to choosing – idling together or racing forward alone – your respective dreams were so heavy that they tipped the scales.

Neither of you could blame the other. After all, you’d both made the same decision. There was some small comfort in knowing that he understood you. That consolation couldn’t keep you warm at night when you’d instinctively reach out and find half of your bed still empty.

It would’ve been so much easier to live without him if there was some horrible betrayal to pin it all on, but he was as perfect when you lost him as he was when you found him.

Shaky legs pushed you off the ground. Without meaning to, you groaned as your body returned to its regularly scheduled programming. Yoongi simply muttered, “Same,” as he made additional adjustments in his editing software.

You affectionally touched your knuckles to his shoulder as you passed by, though you quickly realized this gesture wasn’t made to comfort him.

You shut the door softly behind you and headed up the hallway. Having kicked off and subsequently lost your shoes several hours ago, you padded in socked feet across the hardwood. The pattern – the various evolutions of Eevee – clashed so blatantly with the extravagance around you. Glancing down, you chuckled. At least some parts of you were still recognizable.

The door to the stairwell creaked as you pushed it open and ducked inside. No longer camped out in the soundproof studio, you could hear the smattering of raindrops as they pummeled the exterior walls of the building. Somewhere between a drum roll and machine gun fire, you couldn’t figure out if the noise emphasized or relieved your anxiety.

Gently, you lowered yourself down on a step halfway up the flight. As you stared down at your phone, your knee bounced of its own volition.

For once, you were thankful for the seventeen-hour time difference. This was the kind of call you needed to make at midnight, but one you didn’t want him receiving at midnight. It felt so much safer in daylight.

At least one of you had eyes on the sun.

You’d deleted his number from your phone months ago because you thought it might help you let go. It didn’t. And to make matters worse, you still knew it by heart. As you typed it out easily, you wished this realization surprised you. You also wished that you’d catch him at a bad time, so you could simply leave a message.

You’d never been lucky, though, had you?

Namjoon was half-asleep at a café table when the vibration of his phone against the wrought metal snapped him out of it. In his under-caffeinated daze, he couldn’t determine what that unbearable grinding noise was.

He could, however, see the way the elderly woman nearby was scowling at him. He furrowed his brows and blinked back at her; silently asking what the fuck her problem was. Just as silently, she pointed an angry, wrinkled finger to his tabletop.

By the time his brain kicked into gear, he was too late. He picked up his now-quiet phone and nearly dropped it in an instant when he saw your name tied to a missed call.

He didn’t think twice before returning it – he should have – having figured there was only one way to know if he was truly hallucinating. You picked up immediately in a voice so you that he couldn’t have imagined it. He knew because he'd already tried.

“Hey.”

People who didn’t know you often mistook the natural rasp of your voice for tiredness, but he did know you. You were beyond exhausted, more so than the last time he’d heard from you. Five months and twenty-one days ago.

This sounded like another all-nighter; like you got so consumed in creating that you couldn’t sleep until you finished. Remembering you like this opened a black hole in his chest – all this fondness with nowhere to go, collapsing in on itself, pulling.

What kind of masochist was he, voluntarily subjecting himself to this conversation?

“Hey,” He croaked. Even his voice didn't know what to do.

He heard shuffling on your end. You always pinned your phone between your right ear and shoulder to start — he immediately recognized the sound of your hair against the receiver when you switched it to your left side. Vanilla and honey flooded his nose despite the thousands of miles that separated him from the scent of your shampoo.

There were a thousand questions spinning dizzy in his mind, but he couldn’t untangle them to spit one out. The longer you both remained quiet, the worse it got – and the worse he felt for his silence. Even without seeing you, he knew that your brows were knitting together. He knew that quiet made you feel too exposed.

Namjoon cleared his throat to speak at the same moment you asked, “How are you?” His words echoed, a half-second from being uttered in unison.

He prayed to any god that he’d stop feeling so nervous. There was no reason to be, not with you. You were his comfort zone, his safe space and – oh. Past tense.

Presently, you were – what, exactly? Could he call you an “ex” if you’d never had a title? It all felt too juvenile, hearing people whisper about his girlfriend. You were –fuck – You were home, and now his house was haunted.

A ghost.

“I’ve been good,” he said quickly, planting a hollow smile on his face that wouldn’t have convinced you if you were there. Liar, liar, liar. “Busy. You sound –”

“Awful?”

“– like you’ve been working all night.”

He heard a sheepish chuckle and his clumsy, thudding heart went flying off into the void.

“That’s actually why I’m calling,” you admitted in a voice so tiny he nearly missed it, “And I wouldn’t be – I promise – if I could’ve bothered anyone else with this. This one, though… when I hear it in my head, I can’t imagine anyone –”

“Say less.”

It slipped out of him automatically. He couldn’t stop it. Now it was dangling there in dead air where he couldn’t reach it and shove it back down his throat. He must have said that to you a thousand times, giving you whatever you needed before you could even finish asking.

This was the first time he’d ever said it without punctuating it with a kiss to your forehead, though. And now, his equilibrium was off, like the staircase had one less step than he was expecting.

When you finally broke the silence, he could’ve sworn he heard you sniffle, but he quickly kicked that thought back into the cage it escaped from. Your voice didn’t sound sad at all, so you couldn’t have been crying. Why would you be?

“I can have Yoongi send you what we have so far, lyrics too. If you’re interested, just let me know – verse, bridge, whatever you want.”

“You’re with Yoongi?”

It came out exactly as he hadn't intended – accusatory. It was no business of his who you spent time with, professionally or otherwise. And it didn’t even surprise him that Yoongi would stick around after the – whatever it was. All your shared friends stayed shared. His confusion was solely that Yoongi never mentioned working with you, let alone flying stateside to do so.

Why hadn’t Yoongi said something? Did he assume Namjoon wouldn’t be interested in hearing about your project? Because he would - he kept up with all of your releases, even if it hurt. Was he scared that the mere mention of you would exacerbate the tailspin Namjoon was barely surviving?

Or was it something else?

“Yeah, he got here a few days ago. I offered to send the vocals to him, but he said he wanted In-N-Out,” Your laugh, even under the weight of your sleepiness, still packed a punch. “Might be the longest trip anyone’s ever made for animal-style fries.”

Namjoon felt like he was going to pass out, but for your sake, he tried to echo your laugh. “Sounds like he’s got his priorities in order, as usual.”

That uncomfortable silence crawled back in and settled in the space between you. It never used to be like this. His mouth remained open as if his broken brain could think of a single thing to say. There were hours in every second that passed, but he didn’t hang up – and neither did you.

“So, if I figure something out, I can shoot it back over –”

You interrupted this time.

“No need,” You chirped. You must’ve sensed that his train of thought now consisted only of question marks because you dove right back in, “I’ll be in Seoul at the end of the month, so we can put all the pieces together then.”

Please be speaking metaphorically. Please say –

“I’ve gotta hop off now, but it was –” Your voice petered out at the end of your statement, and he didn’t know what to do within the pause.

What pleasantry would you settle on to end this conversation? Was it nice to hear from him, or did you also feel like you’d walked through the emotional equivalent of a car wash?

It was heavy when you exhaled the amendment, hitting the ground with a thud that could’ve knocked him over.

It was torture, and it drop-kicked him into the abyss at full-speed. No light above, no hope below. A black hole that he kept selfishly refusing to close – all because he answered your call.

“Thank you, Joonie.”

Fuck. He was doomed.

You spent a shocking percentage of your life on international flights. It was a privilege – you knew it – to travel to the extent that you did, but it was so lonely.

If you were flying, there were two justifications. The first was the most common – touring. You’d touch down in cities all over the world, stay for a few hours, and then you’d leave again as soon as you could blink.

Your interactions were limited, either one-sided conversations from a stage; or facilitated entirely by a local translator. Never truly connecting, missed phone calls and texts sent too late to get a response. The same stale conversations with the crew that had been stuck with you for months.

The second was less common, and somehow even lonelier – visiting a home that was no longer yours.

It always went the same way. You’d touch down at the Incheon International Airport in your home country and feel just as foreign as the tourists bustling around you. You’d gather a suitcase’s worth of belongings and try not to think about the fact that they – and everything else you owned – once lived there, too. You’d hit customs and then, as a reward, snag yourself some boba from the café on your way out the door.

In all those trips, you’d never once hailed a cab because Namjoon was always waiting. You’d hear him before you saw him with how loud he kept his car’s stereo, but when you did finally lay eyes on him, you’d light up like a sparkler. He’d shower you with affection – publicly, despite his usually private nature – and swap out the luggage in your hands for some thoughtful surprise. Flowers, usually, after painstaking deliberation over the meaning he wanted to convey.

Now, you stood on the sidewalk with your empty hand in the air.

Shortly after settling into your cab, you fell asleep. The person who would have gently scolded you for taking this risk wasn’t there to do so. Instead, you woke up stiff and disoriented to the sound of your driver honking his horn. You quickly learned that he wasn’t honking at traffic; he was honking at you with a scowl on his face.

“Time to go! Wake up – your stop!”

He was speaking in English, so it took you a few moments to determine whether you were dreaming. Impatient, he honked again.

Did he think you were a tourist? Was he right?

Your cheeks burned with embarrassment as you threw the door open and hurled yourself out. You ran to the trunk, snatched your suitcase, and tried not to remember that you didn't used to have to do this part yourself.

Yoongi had the foresight to give you a spare keycard before leaving California, so you were able to get into his building quickly – before you were honked at again. Spoken to in English again, like this place had never been home.

You, belonging nowhere and to no one, kept yourself together until the elevator doors gave you some semblance of shelter.

Alone, alone, alone, you cried so hard that your shoulders shook. The mirrored walls around you showed infinite versions of you, all pitiful like you were still that little girl who’d gotten separated from her parents at an amusement park. It was incredible how you felt smaller in that elevator than you did as a child.

And fuck, did that embarrassment make you cry even harder.

Eventually, those doors would have to re-open, and you’d have to let yourself into Yoongi’s unoccupied penthouse just to wait for his return. You were so sick of walking into empty apartments and hearing nothing but your own footsteps. No warmth, no laughter, just a black hole of your own creation.

You chose this, you reminded yourself. This is what you wanted, wasn’t it? You were so busy chasing broader horizons, you didn't notice that the sun had disappeared. If you’d known – really, truly known – what the fall would be like, would you have taken that leap of faith? No, you think, but you did and there’s no jumping back into the airplane once you’ve dived out of it.

Ding.

There was a post-it note waiting for you on the inside of Yoongi’s door that you would’ve missed if you hadn’t taken so much time to shut it behind you. His handwriting was shockingly neat for someone who was always in a rush. His note told you that he’d be home in two hours, that there was food for you in the refrigerator, and that you should help yourself to whatever you needed.

The sinkhole in your stomach wasn’t created by hunger, so you pushed that down to the bottom of your to-do list and dragged your luggage to the guest bedroom down the hall.

Every inch of his place was undeniably Yoongi – monochromatic and edgy, but still so confusingly inviting. His guest room was similar in style, but with more personalized touches than most visitors tended to expect. Framed photos of friends, and the collaborators he was most proud to work with.

Your eyes eventually found one of you, beaming brightly.

It hurt to look, but you couldn’t tear your gaze away. It was taken in a photobooth at Kim Seokjin’s wedding last spring. You were sandwiched on a small bench seat between Yoongi and Namjoon.

The former, like you, was captured in the middle of a laugh - smiling at the camera with all teeth, eyes crinkled at the edges but still sparkling. The latter wasn’t looking at the camera at all – just you, like you were all there was.

Forcing yourself to look away, you returned the frame to its place on the vanity and kept moving. Your primary instinct was to hurl yourself into the plush bed and never leave it. But you felt stale after spending so much time traveling, and you didn’t want to collapse into those beautiful sheets until you’d scrubbed the day off you.

Shuffling off to the bathroom, you finally remembered to take your phone off ‘airplane mode.’ All at once, the floodgates opened. The onslaught of texts, emails, and voicemails was so overwhelming that your phone froze.

When the flurry stopped, you scanned through your various inboxes for anything that might require an immediate response. Finding nothing urgent, you were about to set your phone down when you saw an email from Namjoon, addressing both you and Yoongi.

His verse, you realized as you opened it.

I think I lost you sooner than I wanted to And I know you can't say the same But I can't hate you for doing what you've gotta do Cause I'm just in bed sleeping through the pain Do you see wasted potential when you look at me? Of what we could be if it wasn't like this I know you asked me not to try and change myself But when I was with you, I felt fixed

It took everything you had not to drop to your knees.

Namjoon was an incredible liar.

He didn’t utilize the skill often – in fact, he was usually too honest – but when he did, he could get himself out of any unwanted scenario.

In the distant past, he’d slip out of obligations made by his label to stay home in bed with you. It worked every single time. Instead of putting on some over-priced suit, wasting his breath swapping empty pleasantries with industry tools; he’d be hooking his arms around your quivering thighs, pinning you to his face as he fucked you with his tongue.

In the present, he lied again.

Yoongi asked, “How did it feel to hear from her again?”

“To be honest,” Namjoon started, knowing full well that nothing he said next would be, “That shit’s behind me, man. I was surprised her number was still in my contacts, you know? She’s been a non-factor for a minute.”

Yoongi rolled his eyes, “With the number of girls you’ve gone through in the meantime, I imagine it gets hard to keep track.”

Hook, line, sinker.

Namjoon offered a smirk and a shrug in response, which Yoongi accepted without further comment. The relief of being believed did nothing to cure the nausea swirling in Namjoon’s stomach, though - not just for the cruelty of his lie, but for the way he’d acted since you left and stayed gone.

He learned early on that it would take more than fucking someone he didn't know to keep warm, but knowing better didn’t mean he did better. None of them – and there were many – could pull him from the limbo he found himself in without you. There was an emptiness gnawing at his insides that he couldn’t fill, and the more he tried, the more it tore at him.

The only thing he succeeded at was becoming someone he didn’t recognize –someone he didn’t even like.

Yoongi pulled into his parking garage and turned to Namjoon, staking him through the heart with words alone. “Well, the non-factor is upstairs, so try to remember her name when you see her.”

Namjoon chuckled, but it didn’t sound anywhere close to convincing. There was a flicker of doubt in Yoongi’s quickly flexed eyebrow, though he kept any questions he may have had to himself. Without a word, they clambered out of the car, and they stayed quiet until they stepped into the elevator.

“How has she been?” Namjoon asked more quietly than he meant to. Like someone who’s scared of the answer - or worse, being asked why he’s asking. Quickly diverting further inquiry, he provided clarification Yoongi hadn’t sought. “Sounded tired as fuck on the phone.”

Yoongi glanced at Namjoon before selecting the button marked with his floor number. “You know how she is,” He hummed.

That one hurt. He knew how you were – past tense.

Except for that one phone call, he hadn’t heard your voice in months. He hadn’t seen you for even longer than that. Your number hadn’t changed, but for all he knew, everything else could have. All he had now was his memory’s pale imitation of you, always in sight but never within reach.

A ghost that disappeared into the walls before he could get too close.

When the elevator door opened, Namjoon was fighting between running forward and running away. Incapable of doing either, it was Yoongi’s light punch on his bicep that prompted his feet to move. Namjoon trudged along after him until Yoongi stopped short with a groan.

“The fuck?” Namjoon coughed as he collided with Yoongi’s back. “Don’t tell me you’re already winded, dude. I’m not giving your old ass a piggy-back ride.”

The scowl he received could’ve scorched the Earth.

“I forgot my fucking phone in the car.” Yoongi tossed his apartment key at Namjoon. It thudded against his unsuspecting chest only to be caught on the rebound.

Then, Yoongi pointed at the door. ��Go play nice and figure out where we’re getting take-out from. I had a dream about bulgogi last night that was borderline sexual, so keep that in mind.”

Namjoon’s face scrunched up. “I’ll be trying my best to keep it out, so thanks for that.”

Yoongi had already turned around, waving a dismissive hand as he stalked off.

As soon as Namjoon heard the elevator doors close, his phone chirped in his pocket and caught him off guard. He glanced down to find a text from Yoongi – who was, apparently, also a liar.

Yoongi [18:19 PM]: fyi you always say “to be honest” when you’re about to say some bullshit Yoongi [18:19 PM]: "non-factor" my asssssss

Namjoon grimaced and shoved his phone back into his pocket before walking to Yoongi’s door with his heart in his throat.

Clearly, Yoongi wanted Najmoon to fix things with you. He’d crafted some false narrative to get himself out of there, to give Namjoon the time and space to do it. But there wasn’t a single fucking thing he could say to rebuild the bridge you’d both demolished together.

That is, if you even wanted him to try.

After unlocking the door, he froze. A full minute passed before his hand received his brain’s signal to turn the knob, and even then, his feet felt as if they were encased in concrete. If hearing your voice made him spiral, he was terrified of what the sight of you might do.

More than anything, he was scared to see how you looked at him – and he didn’t know what reaction he wanted. If you lit up the way you used to, it might kill him. If you had no reaction at all, it would definitely kill him.

He would’ve stalled at that threshold all night if you didn’t appear in the hallway, straight ahead. You froze like a deer in headlights, one hand still on the door you’d exited from. Eyes wide, lips parted ever so slightly in surprise.

He didn’t notice the red rims around your eyes right away, but once he did, every cell in his body screamed at him to run to you, to hold you.

But he didn’t.

Touching you now only to lose you again tomorrow - well, that was a scab he couldn’t rip off again. There was only scar tissue where his heart used to be.

“Hey,” You smiled so sweetly when you saw him, but it didn’t reach your eyes. Those fucking eyes! He’d give up everything he had to erase the sadness swimming behind them, threatening to spill out.

Why were you still so far away?

You glanced around him, noting Yoongi’s absence, but didn’t ask where he was. “I was thinking we could get something from that –”

The longer he stared at you, the more impossible it became to keep his distance. He couldn’t stand on that doorstep with you over there, trying so hard to look like you hadn’t been crying – like you weren’t about to start again.

Fuck it.

If he was so dead-set on re-breaking his own heart, he’d do it with you in his arms.

“Joonie, is everything oka–”

No, nothing was. Nothing had been, not for – fuck, are his eyes getting misty? - a long time. Not since you walked out of his apartment for the last time, and he let you. He couldn’t make any of it okay, but with you there now, he didn’t give a fuck about where you were before.

Your eyes were as big as the moon when he finally reached you, blinking your surprise up at him.

Did you really think he had any other option than to hold you? Did you have any idea how you looking at him like this - bare-faced, freshly-showered, vulnerable - demanded his immediate affection?

It felt like coming home, sliding his fingers through your still-damp hair. He could’ve fallen to pieces when the familiar scent of your shampoo – vanilla and honey – crashed over him, but he didn’t. His lips collided with yours, and for the first time in a fucking year, he felt whole.

You clung to him so desperately, you could’ve ripped a hole in his shirt. You couldn't care about that, though, because he kissed you and it was pure starlight. He kissed you hard, nicking your lip between his teeth until you opened your mouth against his.

You whimpered into him, drunk on the wet heat of his mouth, melting and falling and spinning and flying. You felt it all fall to the wayside, every second wasted without him, every text you didn’t send, every wrong turn that led you so far away.

You didn't realize until you finally broke apart that the tears on your cheek weren’t exclusively yours. His gaze locked with yours, and all either of you could do was gasp for air - chests heaving, lips kissed swollen. If not for the arm around your back, pinning you against his chest, you would’ve floated away. But he had you, completely.

Finally, you felt tethered.

Your trembling hand settled on the side of his face. Fuck! That face. The warmth of his skin, the heights of his cheek bones, the gentle slope of his nose.

How many mornings did you wake up and miss it? How did you ever fall asleep without it nuzzled into the crook of your neck, without the whisper of warm breath on your skin?

You wanted to scream until the hurt left your chest, but you didn’t dare – not with that face so perfectly close to yours.

He spoke first, “I’m so –”

Your eyes followed your thumb as it swiped over his bottom lip, unearthing a quiver that burned you up inside. He was paralyzed by your touch. Enraptured. Leaving that clause hanging open in the air.

His eyes were wide with anticipation as he watched you, pupils dilating when you whispered. “Say less.”

Faster than you could process, he lifted you off the ground as if you weighed nothing at all. Automatically, your legs locked behind his back; your lips re-captured his and his kiss never faltered as he carried you back into the guest room. Quickly and with a shocking display of control, he kicked the door closed without slamming it – or breaking it.

Like so many times before, he laid you gently onto the mattress as if you were crafted from porcelain. And when he finally pulled away from you, you gazed up at him in awe.

This was one of the million reasons you couldn’t seem to let him go – the way his eyes softened when you were breathless underneath him, like you were the only thing in the universe worth looking at.

There were too many things to be said that neither of you could verbalize. You felt them all falling down around you like confetti, loose ends to be tied up later. He didn’t need to say a thing, so long as he kept looking at you like that.

When his fingers landed at the hem of your shirt, you knew what came next. A dance you’d done a thousand times, you lifted your arms for him to pull it up and off. Still damp from your shower, the ends of your hair raised goosebumps as they chilled the bare skin of your back.

He moved slowly and without breaking eye contact as he unbuttoned your jeans. Your zipper followed, then your jeans and underwear in tandem. The denim dragged so deliciously against your thighs as he slipped them down, down, down. As he tugged them off your ankles, you discarded your bra and tossed it aside. You were entirely bare and shivering with anticipation when his gaze found you again.

His shirt soon joined yours on the floor. Kneeling between your legs, his bare chest burned against your own as he kissed you for the third time. So many more were needed to make up for lost time, but you could feel how much of himself he poured into the kisses he’d credited you with so far. The taste of his mouth on yours was indescribably intoxicating after so much time apart.

With you sufficiently distracted, the hands that cupped your face began to migrate. You felt so small under his touch, reduced to putty in the warm expanse of his palms. His face lowered too, freeing your mouth to moan as he placed open-mouthed kisses down the length of your neck.

Involuntarily, you gasped when his fingers pinched at one of your nipples. The curve of his smile impressed upon your throat as he suckled at the sensitive skin he found there, leaving clouds of indigo behind.

As he marked you, he rolled and tweaked your nipples in turn. Your eyes fluttered shut and you keened while your head crashed back against the pillows, “That mouth – feels s-so fucking good.” Your fingers carded through his hair, fingernails scratching lightly against his scalp; his silence broke with a shuddered moan.

“S’all I want, baby,” He hummed as his lips trailed down from your neck and beyond your collarbone. “To make you feel good.”

You were trembling when he claimed one of your nipples with his mouth. Then he had the audacity to look up at you from under his lashes when he released it with a lewd pop, causing your back to arch against his chest with a gasp. There was a rumble from deep within him when your grip on his hair tightened, and the sound alone made you gush.

“To taste you,” His tongue left a wet stripe above your navel as he continued his descent, large hands dipping beneath you to squeeze the doughy flesh of your ass. Shit - you would simply never recover from this. “To devour you until you melt in my mouth.”

Another sharp tug at his hair, another guttural moan breaking free from your chest.

How often had you dreamed of this in your time apart? How many times did you try to remember how it felt when that timbre whispered sins against your naked body? Fuck. With those words alone, he had you on the brink.

You whined when he pulled away from you; but it quickly turned into a gasp when he hooked his arms around your thighs and dragged you with him towards the end of the bed. Now kneeling on the floor, he ducked below your knees until they rested over the tops of his shoulders.

Face so near to your aching core, he growled, and you felt it. “I missed this pussy –” He placed a wet kiss on your inner thigh, prompting you to clench them reflexively. “I missed the way your thighs squeeze around me while you fuck yourself against my tongue.”

Shivering, slack-jawed, and stupid, you grabbed fistfuls of the comforter below you. He was so painfully close to your cunt and still so fucking far from you. You knew he could see how badly you craved him - you’d beg for his mouth if you had to.

Of course, you didn’t have to - you never did.

Seconds before your impatience could drive you fully insane, he was on you, tongue flat against your cunt, dragging up against your slit. When the tip of his tongue flicked over your clit, you cried out with a buck of your hips. His grip on you tightened, pinning you flush against him as he teased you.

“That it’s, baby. Good girl.”

It’s a miracle either one of you could form words with how relentlessly he licked, nipped, and suckled on your throbbing cunt. All you could do was babble in response to his praise – until the tip of his tongue penetrated your weeping hole, and you screamed.

A flurry of curse words spilled from your lips; his name sprinkled in between the obscenities. Fuck, you needed more. More, more, more. You extended your arm and reclaimed your grasp on his locks. Once you did, you began to grind yourself against his tongue until your abdominal muscles burned - you hadn’t utilized them to this extent since the last time.

His hand squeezed your thigh, goading you, encouraging you to use him the way you needed to. The pressure of his tongue increased with your pace. You had no control over the sounds you made; the breathless moans escaped you before you could think of trapping them. The coil was tightening, burning red-hot in the pit of your belly.

So good, so good, so g –

“Fuck!”

One by one, your muscles tensed in quick succession until your body shook violently in his grip. Toes curling, back arching, head crashing backwards into the pillows, mewling.

When you finally gathered the strength to re-open your bleary eyes, there were spots dotting the edges of your vision – and then there was Namjoon, fuck-drunk between your weakened knees, with a mixture of his saliva and your orgasm shining on his chin.

Lustful eyes locked squarely on your flushed face; his tongue slid from between his swollen lips to attend to the mess you’d made of him. His panting rivaled yours, but unlike you, he was still capable of speech.

“I will never – ever – get tired of watching you come,” he sighed before wiping his mouth against the back of his hand, “You’re so fucking beautiful like this.”

As he climbed back on top of you, he placed a chaste kiss on your sweaty forehead. “So vulnerable –” Then the tip of your nose. “So vocal –” Then, too briefly, your lips. “Perfect.”

“Joon,” You murmured against his lips. His mouth curved into a smile at the nickname, which you used almost exclusively to win arguments, or to persuade him to do something. It worked every time.

He nudged your nose with the tip of his as he tried to conceal his laugh. “Baby?”

The fond look in his eyes was quickly covered by fluttering eyelids as your fingertips whispered down over his chest. They snapped open and bored into you as your fingers slid over the waistband of his joggers, tracing a feather-light trail over the bulge below. You felt his cock twitch autonomously against the warmth of your palm.

“Shit,” He hissed through gritted teeth as you squeezed him. Eyes drifting shut once again; he rolled his hips to exacerbate the friction. His neck tensed, head thrown back, when you finally dipped under the elastic and took him into your hand. Skin to skin, burning up.

The next moan from his fawning mouth was something you hadn’t heard in his voice for months – your name. “I need you. Now.”

In the few moments he pulled away to remove his pants, a chill crept in and settled where the weight of his body had just been.

There it is again, you thought, the feeling of having him and losing him.

When this night was over and he was gone from you, would he stay that way? Should you have gone this far, knowing nothing would be different in the daylight?

You were blinking fast when he reclaimed the space above you. Something flickered in his eye as he assessed the look on your face, but he didn’t ask. Instead, he leaned down and kissed you so gently that you could’ve imagined it – but so completely that your brain could never have fabricated it. Not successfully, anyway.

You’d already tried.

Breaking apart once more, he reached down and stroked himself slowly. His eyes never left yours. You both held your breath as he slid into you, millimeter by millimeter, reminding your body – after all this time – how to take him. All of him, to the hilt, until you could finally exhale.

Stretched to accommodate his width, so fucking full, you saw a way out of the nothing that had you trapped like quicksand. It was him, always. Your safe haven.

Neither of you could speak once he began rolling his hips against you. The quiet was electrified by heavy breaths and whimpers. The wet heat of your cunt squelched as your walls enveloped him, just as unwilling to let him go as the rest of you.

Over and over, he grinded into you, dragging his length across your most sensitive places; hips swiveling slightly to the side as he pushed and pulled himself through you, the way he knew you liked it.

Open mouth beside his ear, you keened and sighed, wordlessly informing him that you wouldn’t last much longer. He was perfectly attuned to your subconscious movements, and he responded to each of them without hesitation.

He’d never need to be reminded that the fingernails digging into his biceps meant faster, and the upward tilt of your jaw meant deeper. That when your eyebrows rose above your closed lids, you were seconds away from your release.

He remembered exactly how to fuck you through your orgasm when it came – shallow, staccato thrusts that unraveled you further as you writhed against the sheets. The spot on your neck to nip at like some secret switch, praise dripping hot in your ear like honey.

“Such a good girl, squeezing me like this,” He panted, “Taking me so well – so fucking perfect for me, angel.”

As soon as you crashed down through the atmosphere, his movements threatened to ricochet you right back into space. You keened helplessly with your half-numbed fingers gripping any part of him where they could find purchase.

“I c-can't stop -” You mewled, “How am I s-still c-coming?”

His response didn’t come in the form of words. His lips collided with yours hard enough to clink teeth as he drove himself deeper and deeper and deeper. Sloppy, kiss-bitten lips laying claim; relentless in their mutual need for closeness. Your walls were still fluttering around him – was this your second orgasm or your third? - when he moaned into your mouth.

Every part of him tensed above, around, and inside you as the flood of his release filled every crevice of your cunt.

Breathing ragged, his head fell into the crook of your shoulder. Considerate as ever, he tried so hard to keep his full weight off you, but his exhaustion undermined his efforts. You didn’t mind at all – you’d re-build your home there, staying forever between his body and that borrowed bed if you could.

But you couldn’t, could you? If you felt empty before, how could you feel whole again after this? His name etched itself into your ribcage, and now your body would never re-acclimate to his absence.

Why did you do this to yourself?

You squeezed your eyes shut tight when you felt tears prickling in their corners.

Everything you felt for him – over the course of two years – came crashing down over you. You buried your face into his shoulder and tried your best to keep your crying to yourself.

You’d never get his scent off your body now.

He could sense your shaking; it forced his heavy lids open.

“I don’t know what to do with it,” you sniffled, silently begging yourself to stop. You felt yourself shrinking under his eye. It would only be a matter of time before you disappeared entirely.

His tone dripped with concern, serving only to deepen that infernal ache in the pit of your stomach. “With what?”

“All the love I have for you. I don’t –” You sobbed, “I don’t know where to put it now.”

His breath caught in his throat as if you’d punched him straight in the chest. If you listened hard enough, you might’ve heard his heart break. You could certainly feel it in the way he tensed in your arms.

When he moved off you, you feared the worst – that your incessant crying overflowed the bathtub, and your admission was the toaster thrown recklessly inside. But unlike the last time, he didn’t leave - and neither did you.

The mattress shifted as he claimed the space at your side - where he should have been all this time. Strong arms enveloped you as he turned to face you, and even though he held you, he couldn’t stop you from shattering.

For a while, he let you. Squeezed you hard, stroked your hair the way he used to, let you cry out all the poison that filled the spaces in the cavern of your chest.

And when you could finally breathe again, he kissed your forehead. “I’ll trade you for it.”

(1/8/23): Check out the sequel, Redamancy, here.

2K notes · View notes

effortandmore · 11 months

Text

tuesday moon | knj (18+)

summary: being “just friends” with kim namjoon sucks

pairing: namjoon x f!reader

rating: explicit (18+ please)

genre: fluff, smut

au: university, co-workers to lovers to friends to lovers again (they're oblivious)

warnings: it's mostly fluff i think. they're oblivious. smut: minors should not be interacting/reading, namjoon has a big dick, a lil praise kink, oral sex (f!receiving), penetrative sex, the usual suspects i think. drinking (but not before they sleep together), tae is into new age jazz... and they were roommates!

word count: 7.7k

a/n: so... i had this dream a couple months ago and couldn't get it out of my head, so here you go. thanks, sleep brain. the title is from a neutral milk hotel song (but tbh the '23 album isn't great). thank you to @ugh-yoongi and @the-boy-meets-evil for reading this over. and then for doing it again when i couldn't even find the mistake you told me was there 🙃

read on ao3

You’ve learned a lot in university—which given how much money you’ve spent to be there is a relief. But amongst business classes and writing workshops and statistics, the most important knowledge you’ve gained is that of small things.

Of small things and how they can change your life in unbelievably big ways.

Kim Namjoon isn’t exactly small. But the events that put him right in the middle of your life are. The first day you meet him is a Tuesday. Tuesdays have always been for non-events: for meetings and your least favorite classes… For snagging a coveted dryer on the third floor of the dorm building because Jeongguk saves it for you when he’s finished with his seemingly endless laundry. Tuesdays are for your first real uni friend, Taehyung, to show up to the laundry room unannounced and make you listen to weird new-age jazz on his phone that you hate, but love how much he loves it.

And then your work-study starts. A job in the library is supposed to be easy, has better hours than a lot of the jobs that are available, and pretty much only requires you to understand the Dewey decimal system so you can reshelve things quickly. You can count and read, and those seem to be the only things the head librarian cares about. Cake.

Your first training day is a Tuesday. It’s a rainy afternoon, and in one of the conference rooms in the back of the law floor are you and three other new employees. Right away, it seems like Yoongi, Hoseok, and Namjoon are already friends. They joke and whisper throughout the orientation videos and absolutely make you feel like a fourth wheel. At your first break, Hoseok extends the invitation for you to sit with them when he notices you still sitting by yourself in the back of the room, and it's then that you learn they for sure already knew each other—music majors and all in the same class even though Yoongi is a little older than the other two. They signed up for all the same work-study assignments hoping they’d be placed together, hoping they could have a chance to work on music during slow times at the slowest work-study assignments. Namjoon, though, who has been quiet the whole time, finally speaks up at this.

“Well, I also like books,” he says softly, one side of his mouth turned up in a grin. “So, I guess I had an ulterior motive.”

“Of course you did, Namjoonie,” Hoseok replies.

Yoongi turns to you, explaining, “Namjoon’s a double major. Smartest guy we know. Literature and music.”

You talk more with them after the ice is broken—Yoongi’s a double major, too, math and music. Hoseok raps and does street dancing in his free time, and around the three of them, you feel like you’re woefully underachieving just at life in general.

“What about you?” Namjoon prompts after you get some background on all of them.

“Ah… nothing impressive. Economics major. Just what my parents wanted, you know. But I like books, too. I volunteer at the public library already, but it doesn’t exactly help with tuition.”

“You volunteer?” Namjoon repeats, looking surprised.

“Oh, yeah… It’s no big deal. I just read books to kids sometimes.”

“That’s awesome,” he says, and the look on his face tells you he might actually mean it. Next to him, Yoongi snickers and Hoseok smiles brightly at you.

“Namjoonie here has wanted to volunteer doing park clean up for a while, but Yoongi and I are always dragging him to the studio on the weekends, so he doesn’t have time.”

Namjoon shrugs. “It would be nice to feel like I’m helping, I think.”

“It is,” you agree, sharing a look with him across the table. “The purpose of life is to be useful…” You mumble the quote under your breath, assuming they wouldn’t know what you meant anyway.

“Emerson?” Namjoon asks.

“Oh! Uh… yeah, I mean… That’s what people think, but probably not. It’s most likely from a speech someone else gave when they gave Emerson an award, but most people think it’s him—” you cut yourself off when you notice Namjoon’s eyes gone wide.

“Self Reliance is one of my favorites,” he says, leaning forward, excitement playing in his voice.

“Same! No one ever knows what I’m talking about, but ‘Nothing at last is sacred but the integrity of one’s own mind’ is maybe my whole life philosophy,” you ramble, just happy that someone might finally know what you’re talking about. No one in your economics classes ever shows any interest in philosophy, anyway. Your roommate calls you a nerd every time you bring stuff like this up, and Jeongguk just stares at you with big eyes like he wants to drink every word you're saying but doesn’t understand a drop of it. But Namjoon actually looks… interested in what you’re saying. More than interested, even.

Yoongi elbows Hoseok and smirks. “Namjoon’s in trouble,” he says.

But before you can ask what that means, the head librarian interrupts to tell you it’s time to get back to training. You have to partner up for training to use the library’s reservation and shelving programs, and Namjoon comes right up to you, grinning shyly, and asks if you want to be his partner while his friends whisper on the other side of the room. You know immediately how this is going to go. Or you think you do, anyway.

And you’re right. By the end of the first week of your work study, you’re in Kim Namjoon’s bed.

It’s just like it sounds.

You’re naked, legs bent at the knees and open with his head between them. You noticed his brain first, but it only took that first afternoon to realize that not only was he smart, but stupid hot and kind and sort of funny in the sarcastic way you like, and he seemed to like something about you, too.

On Saturday, you work a slow shift together, both of you using most of the time to catch up on homework, and when it’s over, he asks if you want to come back to his place and keep studying. You agree quickly, but as soon as you get there, you realize you’re both on the same page about being more interested in studying each other than your class work. One thing leads to another, and here you are, moaning into your own palm as he flicks his tongue over your clit in a steady rhythm.

“Namjoon, I–” You’re pathetic, you think, gasping and barely able to make words come out of your mouth, but fuck if he’s not good at this. Better than you’d thought he would be, actually. He came across as a little on the shy side during work, like he might be one of those guys who needs you to tell him where the clit is. Eager to please, but not quite sure how to go about it. Willing to take direction.

He is not that.

“Gonna come, baby? You like my tongue that much?” Namjoon lifts his head to ask, and his lips are slick with you and his voice is deep and his fingers just don’t stop moving… It's so much.

“Yeah, so close…”

At that, Namjoon smirks and ducks his head back down to finish the job. He makes quick work of you, sucking on your clit and twisting one of your nipples with his free hand. The other has two fingers fucking into you in just the right way, just shallow enough to hit your g-spot each time he pushes in.

The orgasm builds fast, pressure from the inside, pressure from the outside… Everything feels so, so good, and you try to tell him so, but all you can do is whimper through it, clenching your thighs around his ears when you come on his tongue and he tries (bless him) to keep licking your core as your knees shake.

“Fuck,” you say on an exhale, arm tossed over your own forehead.

“I’m down,” he teases.

You’re about to say something sarcastic back, but when you lift your arm and look down at him, you lose that train of thought. He looks fucking incredible: flushed, a little sweaty, chin shiny with your orgasm and he’s grinning with those stupid dimples out… How could you not give him everything he wants? Maybe it’s the orgasm talking, the sweet rush of dopamine affecting you when you say, “I want that. Fuck me…” And for emphasis, when he stares at you a little stunned, you add, “Please, Namjoon?”

He only nods, enthusiastically and a little dopey with it, a little like the boy you saw in the library. But when his cock is out—big… like, really big. Why even have a cock that large, really? What’s even the point of that?—he’s smirking and appropriately (you hope) confident again.

“That is…” you look down and make a vague gesture in the direction of his dick, which makes him look down, too.

He shies almost instantly. “Yeah, it’s okay if it’s too much or whatever…”

“No! That’s not what I meant. I just… You look good.” You scoot up so you can have level eye contact. “Want you to fuck me. I can handle it, promise. I want to.”

Namjoon swallows, visibly nervous, but agrees anyway.

You knew it would be fine. Any partner who makes sure to tell you you’re beautiful, who makes sure you come first, who pays attention to your body the way he has for the last couple hours is probably going to keep doing that, you decide. And he does. He’s careful, even though you think it might actually be killing him a little to not move once he’s over halfway inside you. He checks in with you, makes sure the consent is still there, and then when you ask him to “actually fuck me, Namjoon… want your cock… all of you,” he does. And he delivers.

You’re essentially sitting in his lap, his palms spread on your hips as he moves you on his cock and it is… Well, it’s unequivocally the best anyone’s ever fucked you. His lips are on your neck, your breasts, the swell underneath them where they meet your ribcage… He keeps talking to you in his raspy whisper, making sure you feel okay, telling you how good you feel to him. There are times when he gets a little porny, telling you how tight you are (you’re sure a cock that big hasn’t seen anything not tight), and then he says, half out of breath, “Knew you would be a good girl. Knew it from the first time I saw you.” And you didn’t even know you wanted to be a ‘good girl,’ but suddenly you very much do.

Before he comes, he makes sure you do again, too. His thumb finds your clit and his lips are hot against your ear, whispering filth when you tighten around his cock and shudder in his lap. He’s not far behind you, pulling your hips down when he thrusts into you a little harder, sweat beading on his forehead with the effort. He’s quiet when he comes, just a low moan of your name as he stills under you.

After, it’s the small things he does that you like. It’s nice that he doesn’t try and move right away, just runs his hands up and down your back—soothing, almost. The closeness is nice, his head resting against your collarbone while you stroke your fingers through his hair. It feels intimate, more than a first time or a one night stand with your coworker should. But neither of you make a move to change that, so maybe it’s alright.

For now.

You haven’t exactly been the most social university student, but you know how these things are supposed to go. You clean up, you get dressed, you make awkward small talk about your classes or your work study and then you go your separate ways. You go back to your apartment and you don’t talk about what happened. He might look at you like he knows what’s underneath your hoodie next time you see him, but you know it won’t happen again. That’s not how it works. Not for you, anyway.

Kim Namjoon is a good guy, that you’re sure of. He’s a hard worker, he’s smart, he has lots of friends and hobbies and between that and school and work, you know there’s no way he’s looking for a relationship, and you also know he’s going to do his best to let you down easy if he thinks that’s what you’re after.

But, he’s your friend. And your co-worker, and the sex was great, so you want to at least spare him the effort of all that. So, when he gets up to dispose of the condom and find a washcloth, you get dressed quietly, pack your textbooks, and do your best to look mostly put together by the time he comes back.

“So,” you start as he returns to his room, “that was great… Really great, Namjoonie. Thank you.”

He looks… confused. “You’re thanking me for sex?”

“I uh… yes?”

Namjoon gives you a dimpled smile with an eyebrow raised, clearly amused. “Okay… Well, you’re welcome, then. And thank you.” He gives you a teasing bow, and with it, you feel a little relief. Because he’s obviously ready to move forward and this can just be a fun thing that happened and you don’t have to make him worry about letting you down, and you don’t have to worry about how much you fucking like him already. You can just be friends.

The problem, you realize quickly, is that being “just friends” with Kim Namjoon sucks.

It’s like sending your poor, delusional heart through a cheese grater with each of your work-study shifts. It’s swallowing down every dream of happiness when you have to sit next to him at a party and watch him nod along in agreement as Hoseok tells him how hot the new guy in his dance class is. (The guy is hot, with at least a 6-pack, big, pouty lips, and biceps like cannons. So, even you have to agree they have a point.)

Okay, that’s probably dramatic. Incredibly dramatic according to Taehyung and Jeongguk. Which, honestly, says a lot coming from them.

So, you do your best to forget your crush and just be cool about everything. You both make a frankly commendable effort to never talk about what happened between you, and after a few weeks, things don’t feel quite so weird. Namjoon’s probably relieved you never mentioned it again, didn’t expect him to be your boyfriend or anything.

You think you’ve done well.

At one party, halfway through the semester, you meet Namjoon’s friend, Seokjin. He’s quiet at first, polite with a big smile and a nervous laugh. He sticks close to Yoongi and Namjoon, and it doesn’t take long before he’s being shuttled across the large backyard in your direction.

“Hi,” he says simply. “I’ve heard a lot about you.”

“Oh! That’s good… I think?”

“Yah, Namjoonie here—”

“Well, that was great!” Namjoon interjects. “Glad you two finally met. We’re late for something, though. So, bye!” And then he’s pulling Seokjin behind him through the yard in the opposite direction. It’s so weird.

In his protests, you’re pretty sure you hear him say, “You’re ridiculous,” to Namjoon. If you were more sober, you would have recognized it as the first small thing that should have tipped you off.

The second thing happens right before summer break. Your whole group, consisting of your and Namjoon’s friends, are sitting around at lunch discussing everyone’s plans for the summer. Hoseok and Jimin (the hot dancer he wouldn’t shut up about who is now his new boyfriend) are going to a dance clinic on the other side of the country. Jeongguk is going home, promising you he’ll leave you a list of acceptable laundromats in his absence. Seokjin and Taehyung are working—teaching acting classes to teenagers at summer camp.

Yoongi’s got an internship, so he’ll be around, but barely since it’s in the city and your university is a little outside of town. It’s a long subway trip, so he’s got a sublet up there he’s moving into for the summer months.

And then it’s Namjoon’s turn.

“I’m staying. Not on campus, obviously. But I found an apartment and I’m looking for a roommate.” Everyone nods along except Jeongguk, whose eyes dart from Namjoon to you and back several times.

“What about noona?” he finally says, hooking a thumb in your direction. “She’s staying, too.”

“Oh, I don’t think—”

“That’s not a bad idea…”

Namjoon and you look at one another. He’s flushed, and he’s doing that thing he does when he’s nervous where he rubs his throat.

“I’m sure Namjoon has plenty of people in mind already,” you say, trying to give him the out he clearly wants.

“Not exactly,” he mumbles.

“This is perfect!” Seokjin exclaims. “Don’t you think this is perfect, Namjoon?”

You lean over to whisper to Namjoon, “You don’t have to, it’s really alright.” It feels like you’re making him nervous, you can feel his muscles stiffen where you’re touching his arm, and the flush he was sporting is spreading to his neck now.

“Would you even want to?” He asks softly.

You’re not sure, actually. It’s already hard work trying to put your stupid crush out of your mind most days. And now, you only see him a few days a week. Your brain (a logical friend) is telling you that living with him will be terrible for your heart. Your heart isn’t as smart and is pounding faster just thinking about spending more time around your crush. Friend, you correct yourself.

The problem is that only Tae and Jeongguk know about your feelings, and none of them know you and Namjoon have already slept together. So, if you say no, it might be weird. As far as they know, you’re just friends, good friends. Why wouldn’t you want to live with him?

“Yeah,” you reply brightly, swallowing down your nerves, “it’ll be great, Joonie. I can cook and you can help me study for my summer classes.” You’re nodding along as you speak, trying to convince yourself that what you’re saying is true.

“Okay… sure. Roommates,” he says, looking a little stunned.

“Roommates!”

You stick your hand out to shake his. You’re the least sexy person to have ever existed, you decide, as he laughs and shakes your hand.

“It was a terrible idea,” you whine into Taehyung’s lap. “He’s just here… all the time. And sometimes…”

“Yeah?”

“Sometimes he doesn’t wear a shirt!” You slump further into your friend, making what you know are pitiful whining noises into his thighs.

It’s not like you’d go as far as saying moving in with Namjoon for the summer was a mistake. But it wasn’t great. Actually, it was really fucking great, and that was the problem. Or part of the problem anyway.

The apartment is nice—nicer than you’d envisioned when he told you about it. Not too big, but on the corner of the building so you got nice light throughout the day. You each have your own bedroom (thank god) and they aren’t large, but Namjoon gave you the one with the room for a chair by the window, even though you knew he’d been planning to write lyrics there. As promised, you cook for both of you in your small kitchen and Namjoon helps you with your summer classes.

With all of your friends gone or busy, you two don’t see much of them, and it feels like you build your own little world: late nights listening to the records he brings home, eating simple meals by the window and complaining that you don’t have a balcony, getting dragged out on bike rides when the sun falls and it’s cool enough outside, hunched together on the floor of the living room scrolling webtoons and drinking one too many cheap beers, and the worst (best) of all—falling asleep on the couch together before you wake up with a jolt realizing your head is on him and it’s far, far too much to realize his chest is in your face… so you scramble to your room like a coward and don’t fall back asleep, too keyed up.

Seokjin, when you do see him, adds in more and more “old married couple” jokes as the summer goes on. He makes fun of your chore lists on the fridge, cutely decorated with whatever doodle has been occupying Namjoon’s mind that week.

(Jin doesn’t even know that when all the chores are done, you save the little post-it notes, snatching them off the fridge when Namjoon’s not around or not paying attention, and putting them carefully into a little box in your desk drawer with all the other scraps and mementos of your friendship you’ve kept over the almost-year you’ve known him.)

Jin teases you when he lets himself in, late in the mornings, and finds the two of you still asleep, tumbled atop each other on the floor, record-listening session gone too late, the needle still digging into invisible grooves at the center.

It’s not his fault it doesn’t feel like a joke to you, he doesn’t know that you feel like the 45 and all of the jokes and all of Namjoon’s smiles and all of the little notes he leaves and the way he blushes when you come out of the bathroom in your robe like maybe maybe there’s just a chance you’re not the only one still thinking about that one time… that those are the needles, and you’re here, spinning in place while they poke and prod and dig for a melody that just isn’t there.

Namjoon, to his credit, is the very definition of a good friend and roommate. He does all the little things. He brings you breakfast sometimes when he’s been out all night and knows you’ll be waking up shortly after he comes home. He cleans, so that even though he’s got so much stuff (endless records and books and figurines and things he just thought were cute), your apartment never feels dirty, just lived-in and homey and a little cluttered. Buys toothpaste when you forget—before you forget, even. Puts your favorite flavor of soju in the fridge every week even though he hates it.

And it’s not just what he does at home (your home. with him. which you try not to think about because the way the thought makes your heart swell and almost burst is dangerous and confusing, and you hate that you can’t stop thinking about it entirely.) he takes you out, too. It helps that he’s more social than you: gets you outside in the real world between classes and studying. Makes sure you touch grass. Does stupid dances with you to bad music at worse clubs. Buys you hotteok at 2am because he knows you want it even though you won’t admit it so he says both pieces are for him and lets you argue that it’s bad for his heart and you’re willing to take one off his hands just for the sake of his health… because you care for him.

You don’t let yourself think about the way it seems like he flushes and his eyes twinkle a little when you say that. It’s got to be in your imagination.

He doesn’t know that each time he goes out of his way to do something nice for you hurts a little. Doesn’t know that each time he’s a touch too sweet, you wish you’d stayed that one time. Can’t possibly relate to the way you wish that one night turned into a date turned into something more, maybe.

And you know he can’t relate, because he’s started doing this thing while you’ve been living together: talking about someone. Someone that he likes.

It’s devastating and you try so hard not to cry on the nights when it comes up. You succeed in never crying in front of him, but if you drip snot onto your pillow trying to hold back your sobs once you’re alone in your room, he doesn’t have to know.

You don’t know who she is, but you’ve overheard Namjoon on the phone with Yoongi talking about her. She sounds great, if Namjoon’s probably clouded judgment is any indication. He thinks she’s smart and talented, says she sells herself short and he thinks she’s as close to perfect as anyone on the planet. He doesn’t go out without you too often, and you don’t ask where he’s been if he doesn’t offer, but he must be spending time with her because you catch him on a video call with Hoseok saying she can cook and she’s brilliant and she’s everything he’s ever wanted.

She also sounds like she doesn’t know what she’s got, because Namjoon’s convinced she doesn’t like him back and that she’s out of his league—you finally ascertain that the reason he’s been going to the gym more was because one time she said she thought another guy had nice biceps and he knows they were bigger than his.

One time, you come home late, catching Tae at a bar near campus after he’s done with classes and drinking a little too much. You’re not drunk, but you’re in that warm space past sober where everything is a little softer and funnier and Namjoon looks dangerously pretty sitting at his desk with headphones on working on a song.

You plop on his bed, as you do now, and wait for him to notice you’re there. It doesn’t take long.

“Hey,” he says as he pulls off the headphones. He’s giving you the double-dimple smile, which is especially effective when you’re tipsy like this. Throws you more off-kilter than another cocktail would have. “Have fun with Tae?”

“Hmm… yeah.” You lay back on his bed and don’t let yourself worry about your shirt riding up or your hair spilling around you in a haystack. It’s just Namjoon, and you know he doesn’t think about you like that, know he’s already seen you with more skin showing, hair messier.

“Need me to get you some water?”

“No,” you sit up on your elbows, “s’okay. Didn’t drink too much. What’re you working on?”

Namjoon is staring right at you, something indiscernible on his face. He looks almost like he’s in pain or something. “You alright?”

He shakes his head and looks embarrassed. You have no idea why. “Yeah, fine… I’m fine. Just a song, nothing too special.”

“Can I hear it?”

“It’s personal… Kind of silly. It’s not done yet… I’m not sure you’d like it,” he says.

“I like everything you make.” It comes out too honest, you’re not sober enough to hide the tenderness in your voice, to wrap it in something less vulnerable.

There’s no response to that, and you worry you’ve given too much away for a split second before he unplugs his headphones and hits play on the song. And if you thought the sight of him working, bathed in moonlight and neon, was beautiful, this song is truly something else.

It’s lovely—sweeping melody and building building with layers until it crashes all around you, his voice low and quick, persistent with words of love. It’s a love song disguised as wordplay, or maybe the other way around. It’s him in music: smart and beautiful and selfless and breathtaking… You want to keep it, you want it to be yours, you want the words to be about you or for you or just written with you in the back of his mind. It’s too much, it’s so so beautiful, and you know it’s about her. It’s for her. She’s the one who has his attention and who gets his words and it makes you want to crawl under your blankets and never come out like a petulant child.

You’re laying down again, so you don’t know what he’s looking at as you listen. When it ends, you’re asking the question even though you don’t want the answer, even though him saying it will make it too real. “Is it about her?” you whisper.

“Yeah,” he answers, just as quietly. “It’s about her.”

You sit up quick, make sure you’re turned away from him so he can’t see the tears that are beginning to drip down your cheeks.

“It’s pretty,” you say as you head toward the door, hopefully not giving yourself away, not looking back in his direction. “Really pretty. She’s lucky, Namjoonie.”

You don’t see the confusion on his face as your bedroom door closes behind you. You don’t hear him tell you goodnight in a small, concerned voice.

After song-gate, you do your best to put a brave face on and move forward. It’s more for him than you, you have to tell yourself. Because you, your heart, you don’t want to let him go, can’t stand the idea of watching him be happy with someone else. But you, Kim Namjoon’s best friend, you want nothing more than for him to be happy, even if it’s not with you. And it’s hard, but for the most part, you let that version of you win.

You give him broad smiles and you keep not asking where he’s going when he leaves without you. You try really hard not to overhear his calls with Hoseok and Yoongi and when you do, you give him a ridiculous double-thumbs up and tell him to go for it, that she’d be a fool to turn him down. You’re pretty sure you’re the only one who ends up looking foolish in that moment though, even if you really, truly mean it.

One day (of course it’s a Tuesday), you come home from class, and you’re sorting through the mail when you spot a card on the counter that wasn’t there in the morning. Namjoon must’ve left it when he came home, you can hear the shower running from down the hall. It’s rare he beats you home on Tuesdays, always saying he’s got “something” to do “across town” and you just assume it’s with her, so you don’t ask.

But what’s more interesting than him being home early is what the card is: a temporary driver license issued to one Kim Namjoon. It’s got a picture of him, dimples out and glasses on, dated that day. You hadn’t even known he’d taken the class or the tests. You wonder why he wouldn’t tell you… It’s a big deal to him—he’d always said he didn’t need it, liked taking the bus and the metro. Thought cars were bad for the planet and that there were too many of them in the city anyway. But here’s the card, proof that for some reason he thought it was time for a change.

“Oh! You… I didn’t mean for you to find that…”

You look up. Namjoon’s standing by the couch, watching you examine his license, wrapped in a towel because if there’s a god, he only wants you to suffer.

“You got your license?”

“Ah… the temporary one, yeah. Still need to take the road test.”

He seems nervous, fidgeting with the blanket on the back of the sofa. You don’t know why he’d be nervous, it’s cool, you think. One more thing to add to the seemingly endless list of things Namjoon can do.

“Proud of you, Namjoonie. But… why? I thought you didn’t want to drive.”

He shrugs. “Don’t really, but… I just thought… Well, I thought if I got up the nerve to ask someone on a date, it would be nice to drive her. Just once or twice. Make it special, I guess. It’s probably stupid, but I thought y—” He cuts himself off and pauses. Looks out the window and scrunches his forehead up like he’s scolding himself. “I thought she might like that,” he says, finally.

“Did she tell you to get a license?” You’re sure you sound as outraged as you feel when you ask.

“No! She wouldn’t… No. I just wanted to try.”

“Okay. Okay, good. You shouldn’t change yourself for anyone, Joonie.” And then you do that thing again, where you say too much, where it comes out too fond. “You’re more than enough just the way you are. If she doesn’t know that, she’s not good enough for you.”

Namjoon smiles softly. “I’m starting to think she does,” he says.

And the look on his face… It’s happiness and warmth and fuck you wish it was for you. Those nagging feelings of wanting more more more from him are welling up in your chest. “Good,” you say, still too tender as you set the card in his palm and scoot past him to your room, mail forgotten. “That’s the very least of what you deserve.”

Later that night, you’ve tucked the soft and vulnerable parts of you back inside, showered, ordered food, and sent Namjoon down to pick it up with a stop at the convenience store for soju and beer. You can do this, you tell yourself in the mirror, psyching yourself up for the first time you both will hang out with all your friends in months.

The summer is drawing to an end. Seokjin and Taehyung are done teaching, Jimin and Hoseok got back over the weekend, Yoongi’s internship ended the week prior, and Jeongguk is back from his visit home, everyone returning in time to buy books and settle in for the new semester.

You and Namjoon have decided to keep the apartment: close enough to campus, affordable enough, and you both bashfully agreed you liked living together, an arrangement sealed with the secret handshake greeting from a drama you’d watched together over the summer. So, you have the biggest apartment out of all your friends (which doesn’t say much), and they’ve all decided in your group chat that the group “welcome home” party would take place in your living room.

Seokjin and Taehyung arrive first, Jeongguk in tow. They’re pouring through your door play-fighting and laughing and for a minute, you forget your crush on your roommate, you forget he’s pining after someone else, and you just feel so much joy that your friends are back as they pull you into a crushing group hug.

“We brought wine,” Seokjin says.

“Ew!” (A twin chorus from you and Jeongguk).

“Fine, you two have your cheap soju and leave the good stuff for the rest of us.”

“Hyung, that bottle was only six—”

“Shh! Have some respect!” Seokjin says, slapping in the air in Tae’s general direction.

They file into the kitchen to drop off snacks and cheap wine while you leave to dig around in Namjoon’s room for some records to play. It’s a hassle, finding enough that you like and then having to flip them every fifteen minutes, so you finally give up and resign yourself to just playing a playlist off your phone. Or anyone’s phone except Taehyung’s anyway, because “experimental jazz night” was not a hit last time he suckered you all into it.

When you come back down the hall, your kitchen is suspiciously quiet. There is whispering and you can’t hear what they’re saying but you know anytime Jeongguk and Seokjin are colluding that it means trouble.

“What’s going on in here?” You ask as you make it back to the kitchen.

The three of them are reading the notes on your fridge and they all hop around immediately. Jeongguk and Taehyung have the decency to look guilty, but Seokjin just looks like he’s unearthed the lost city or something.

“What are these?” he asks, eyebrow raised.

“Our shopping list? Chore list?”

Seokjin grins. “No, not those… These.” He plucks a sticky off the fridge and starts reading it aloud.

“...And greet the all auspicious day,

Whose privilege permits my song—”

You can feel your face like a wildfire, hot and persistent, as you snatch the piece of paper out of his hand and tuck it in your pocket.

“That’s nothing. Just a poem”

“That’s not nothing, that’s a love poem.”

“We just leave each other quotes sometimes,” you mutter, fussing around the kitchen, opening the bags of snacks and setting them on the counter. “It’s no big deal. Just a small thing.”

Jeongguk looks at you with wide eyes. “And you sometimes leave each other love poems?” he asks cautiously.

“I guess… It’s whatever,” you say.

“What’s whatever?” Hoseok’s bright voice drifts into the room. You snap your head up to see that he’s with Jimin, and they’re followed in by Yoongi and Namjoon, carrying all the food and drinks.

“Namjoon hyung and Noona leave each other love notes on the fridge!” Jeongguk says brightly. “It’s so cute.”

Your jaw actually drops, and you see in your periphery, Namjoon’s is doing the same.

“They’re not love notes!” You protest.

“They’re poems,” Namjoon adds with indignance.

“Besides,” you add, “he’s got a girlfriend or whatever.” You know you sound a little annoyed, and you don’t want to, but it’s worth it if it gets them off your backs.

“Wait, what?” Yoongi finally joins the conversation, peeking his head around the corner into the kitchen.

Six pairs of eyes are on you, and one (Namjoon’s) is anywhere but. You get the offputting feeling that something is happening, but you don’t know what. That the boys staring at you know something you don’t.

“Namjoonie… He’s got a girl he likes. So, they’re not love notes. They’re just quotes we like.”

Yoongi stares at you like he can’t quite believe what he’s hearing, and then Hoseok says, “Oh my god, they are that bad.”

Seokjin nods. “The worst, actually.”

“What? What is going on?” You ask. The question is directed at anyone, but you’re looking straight at Namjoon, who still won’t look at you.

“I’m just gonna open some soju,” Jimin says. “Come on, guys.”

The statement is clearly directed at Seokjin, Taehyung, and Jeongguk, who are all still huddled by the fridge, clearly amused at whatever is unfolding in your kitchen. One by one, they file out. Namjoon tries to follow them, but Yoongi unceremoniously shoves him back into the kitchen with a hissed, “I don’t think so, Namjoon.”

“I’m so confused,” you say quietly. Namjoon finally lifts his gaze to meet yours, and he looks so so nervous. Just like the day you’d agreed to be roommates. You have no idea why, because you’d never do anything to make him feel that way, not on purpose. “Is this about her? I’m sorry… I shouldn’t have—”

“No! I mean… yeah, it’s about her. Or you, I guess?”

“Me?”

Namjoon nods. He takes a deep breath and shoves his hands in his pockets. “You. You and her.”

“I don’t even know her, Namjoonie.”

He sighs. “You are her.”

You’re every meme of confused people trying to do math. You think you probably have a literal question mark above your head. You think you heard him right but… but there’s no way that it’s what he meant.

“What?”

Namjoon looks like it’s almost painful to keep speaking, also a little apologetic. “I like you,” he says, shrugging. “I like you so much, and I’m a dick for agreeing to be your roommate when I felt that way, and I thought after that one time… Well, I thought maybe you needed more and that’s why it never happened again, so I started going to the gym more and trying to… I don’t know. Be more?” He runs a hand through his hair and slumps against the counter. “I just like you so much and I wanted you to like me, too. But I—”

“You like me?”

“Oh, fuck, so much.” It’s almost out like a breath, floats through the space between the two of you, waves itself in front of your face.

“That’s why you thought it would be weird to be roommates…” you say, pieces clicking together.

“Yeah,” Namjoon agrees. “And why I tried to get biceps like Jimin and why I leave you love notes on the fridge, and why I wrote you a whole song about how incredible you are, how you make me feel, and how much I want you even though you don’t want me back…”

“Biceps like Jimin?”

“You said they were nice…”

“Oh my god.” Little details of the past few months since you slept together all start floating around in your head and you see it so clearly now, it all starts to make sense, all the silly little things Namjoon does for you because it’s you, because he likes you… and oh no…

“Namjoon.”

“Yeah?” He’s painfully cute like this—nervous and a little shy, hair falling into his eyes like it can protect him from looking right at you.

You take a couple of steps closer to him. “I like you, too.”

“You what?”

“I like you, too. Just the way you are. I like all the nice small things you do for me, I like how you think, I like how you smell like soap all the time ‘cause you take a million showers… I like living with you… I like your records and your books and… And it’s stupid probably, but I save all your doodles like a teenager would ‘cause I just like you so fucking much… And I’m the bad friend, the one who moved in with you even though I liked you like this. I thought I would get over it. I thought… I don’t know. I thought after we slept together you just wanted to be friends, so I’ve been trying so hard, but…”

“It’s awful,” he says, a giant grin on his face as he watches you stumble through your confession. “I thought you just wanted to be friends, too. You left before I could ask you to stay.”

“Yeah, it is awful. Liked you since that first day in the library.”

“Fuck, me too. We’re so ridiculous.”

“Jin was right, we’re the worst,” you whisper.

“You are!” You hear Jin call from the living room.

You let your head fall forward and bury it in Namjoon’s chest as he wraps an arm (with a perfectly sized bicep, you note, reminding yourself to tell him later) around you and laughs into your hair.

“You’re listening to us?” you protest.

“Hard not to,” Yoongi answers, “small apartment.”

“You fucked?!” Hoseok yells.

“Oh my god,” you moan into Namjoon’s shirt.

“I bet they made love,” you hear a dreamy-voiced Jimin chime in.

You can feel Namjoon’s laugh rumble through his chest against your ear. It’s the best feeling you’ve felt in months.

“So,” you start, pulling your head off his chest, but letting him slide his arm down yours until you’re loosely holding hands. “What now?”

“Well, we should probably talk.”

You peek around him to see your friends all staring at you. “Maybe later?” you ask.

“Later is good.” Namjoon smiles so so big. You love knowing that you’re the one making him feel happy, you think you’re a little ridiculous for being jealous of some other non-existent girl this whole time.

“We like each other,” you say, still a little in shock.

“We do.”

Then, because you’re you, and you have not ever once been cool in front of Kim Namjoon, you lift your palm up. And because he’s him, and now you know he probably thinks he has never once been cool around you, he gives you a high five, his palm connecting with yours and then lingering there while you look at each other and you try not to lift up on your toes and kiss the shit out of him.

“Did they just high five?” Hoseok asks, incredulous.

“They’re so weird. Do you remember when they shook hands on being roommates when it was so obvious they wanted to jump each other on the couch? They probably kissed no tongue and called it sex,” Seokjin says, unhelpfully.

“Hey!” you shout. “We can hear you!”

“The sex was really great, for your information,” Namjoon says, and your face heats immediately.

“It was,” you agree, if for no other reason than it really really was. And you want to make Seokjin as uncomfortable as possible. “Namjoon really knows wh—”

“This is going to be even worse than them being oblivious, isn’t it?” Yoongi asks no one in particular, cutting you off.

But that night after your friends leave, and you do get the chance to kiss Namjoon again, who is now not only your roommate, but your boyfriend, you know Yoongi couldn’t have been more wrong. This is infinitely better than being oblivious to Namjoon's feelings.

“What do you see in me?” he says into the ceiling, sweaty and a little hazy post-orgasm, after you’d made sure to seal your new arrangement properly. No high fives, no handshakes, just long kisses and nervous touches turning more sure, Namjoon making sure to whisper into your skin how much he cares for you, how sexy he thinks you are, how long he’s waited to have you again like this…

(And you returning those words, moving your hips in slow circles in his lap, fingernails trailing across his shoulders as you tell him how good he is, how gorgeous he looks, how his biceps are the exact right size for you to squeeze—which makes him laugh while he fucks you, and if that’s not the best thing you’ll ever see in your life, you’re not sure what is...)

You lace your fingers with his and turn to him, thinking about all the things you love about him, how all those pieces layer together to make something so big that it seems to take up your whole heart. “I like all the small things that make you, you.”

And he kisses you as a reply, lips soft and sweet on yours, and you decide that from now on, Tuesdays are for kissing your boyfriend in the moonlight and making sure he knows exactly how much you like him so that neither of you are ever unsure again.

#namjoon fic #namjoon smut #namjoon imagine #namjoon x you #namjoon x reader #namjoon fluff #namjoon fanfiction #knj x reader #kvanity #btshoneyhive #bts smut #bts fluff #bts writing #bts fanfic #bts imagines

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jjungkookislife · 4 months

Text

Crybaby [Epilogue]

ღ pairing: namjoon x f. reader

ღ genre: established relationship, light smut [18+]

ღ summary: Sometimes your emotions overwhelmed you, sometimes they made you cry, but your friends were there to comfort you all the time. Crybaby, a sweet nickname bestowed upon you by said friends, but when Kim Namjoon says it, it's more of a tease.

ღ wc: 1.5k

ღ warnings: impreg kink, unprotected sex, marking (hickeys, scratching), mention of beer pong, uncle!jungkook, pregnant!reader

ღ date: January 7, 2024

Namjoon couldn't get the thought out of his head, not after you had been so responsive on your wedding night just a few days ago. You had cried so much that night, begging and sobbing for him to fuck you full of his cum, to breed you, while tears rolled down your cheeks like they always did when you were overwhelmed by the love you held for him.

His fingers laced with yours, hands pinned to the mattress as he fucked you, mapped out his home in the column of your throat and imagined every filthy desire that escaped your lips. You begged him to get you pregnant, to breed you like he so desperately wanted to but didn't realize until the words slipped from your kiss-swollen lips in the heat of the moment, hands breaking free and nails raking down his back as you arched into him, kissing him deeply.

Now all Namjoon could think about was you round with his child, a deep ache in his chest as he looked over at you from across the room, you had no idea how you were affecting him as you laughed along with your shared friends, but he was desperate with a carnal desire to bed you again and again until you were round with his child.

Yoongi is the one who approaches Namjoon.

“Everything okay?” Yoongi asks as he raises his cup to his lips.

“Y-yeah,” Namjoon clears his throat as his cheeks flush. He’s unsure if he wants to bring this up right now; especially when your friends are gathered just a few feet away in an intense game of charades.

“You sure?” Yoongi prods. Usually, he’d be in the mix of everyone, but Jungkook had already pushed him toward Joon with a knowing look, though part of him thinks it was because of his shit talent at charades.

“No,” Namjoon sighs in resignation. He knew his younger brother wouldn’t allow Yoongi to leave Namjoon’s side until he got an answer but some things were just too personal to share. Namjoon wasn’t sure if he should even discuss this with Yoongi until he discussed it with you.

After all, Namjoon had been living in your home for months now. You had insisted on living together before the wedding and Namjoon had agreed. You had more than enough space for him, a home office, and perhaps now a nursery? Namjoon wasn’t sure how he wanted to proceed. Had you meant what you had said? Were you ready to grow your family? Or was it just something to say in between the sheets? Not knowing would eat at him.

“I won’t tell Jungkook if you don’t want me to,” Yoongi shrugs. “He’s nosy as all hell, but even he knows not to get into your business with you two. You’re married now.”

“I know,” Joon says. “It’s just, Baby said something on our wedding night and I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it since.”

Yoongi nods, waiting for Namjoon to continue.

“She said…” Namjoon trails off, embarrassed. “She wanted a baby.”

Yoongi grins. “Congrats!”

Namjoon laughs. “We haven’t done anything. I don’t know if it was just talk.”

“Just talk?” Yoongi’s brows furrow in confusion.

Namjoon covers his face with his hands. “You know, talk?”

It takes Yoongi a few more moments for Yoongi to realize what Namjoon is insinuating. “Oh! Oh!”

Chuckling, he shakes his head. “Damn, who knew our Crybaby had a way with words. Good for her.”

Namjoon smacks Yoongi’s shoulder. “That’s my wife!”

Yoongi laughs harder, shaking his head. “So what’s the problem? Just talk to her about it. Chances are she meant what she said. Do you want kids?”

Namjoon nods. “I’ve always wanted to be a father. More so once I met Baby. I’m excited to try but I don’t know if she meant it and we’ve been too busy to even sit down and discuss it.”

Yoongi nods, placing his hand on Namjoon’s shoulder.

“It’ll all work out, man.”

A few nights go by before Namjoon is pulling you into his broad arms, kissing your cheek.

“I’ve missed you,” he states as he trails kisses down your jaw toward your neck.

You giggle. “I’ve been right here.”

“I know,” Namjoon explains. “I just want you all to myself.”

“Ah, my husband,” you giggle as he kisses your neck, his hand going to your hip.

“I’ll never get tired of hearing you call me that,” Namjoon admits as he takes your hand to lead you to the bedroom. You smile when you get on the bed and he joins you, kissing your lips.

You’re lost in his touch, his lips, his dulcet moans as you strip each other. He pauses when you reach for his boxers, taking your hand in his to lace your fingers together.

“There’s something I’ve wanted to talk to you about,” he says as he brings your hand to his lips. “Something you said on our wedding night.”

Immediately, you know what he’s talking about and your cheeks grow hot. You nod, licking your lips as you feel tears sting the corner of your eyes.

“Do you want to start a family already?” Namjoon asks as he locks eyes with you. He knows you probably won’t be able to hold eye contact for long but he needs a genuine response.

“I do,” you admit. “I’m not sure how long you wanted to wait but nothing would make me happier, Namjoon.”

“I’m ready when you are,” Namjoon chuckles, leaning forward to kiss your lips.

“Really?” you ask as happy tears roll down your cheeks.

“Really,” Namjoon assures you as he kisses your tears away. He kisses your hand one more time before stealing a kiss from your lips, his broad body over yours as you two get lost in the moment. Moans soon fill the bedroom, and Namjoon takes care of you again and again.

Four Years Later

“Jungkook!” you call as you step into the home he shares with his husband, Yoongi. “Come get your nephews!”

Namjoon laughs as he comes in carrying both boys in his arms. The Twin Terrors, you called them when they were hyped up on sugar and no naps.

Jungkook appears from the kitchen, his smile radiant as he spots his nephews.

“My babies!” he cries as he opens his arms wide. The boys cling to him, giggling when Jungkook lifts them both.

Yoongi shuffles in after, a mug of coffee in his hand.

“Jimin and Tae?” he asks with a yawn.

“Yup,” you nod, shaking your head as Jimin and Taehyung walk into the home with a table and chairs for the backyard.

“Seokjin is in the back with Hobi manning the grill,” Yoongi states before leading Jimin and Tae to the backyard.

“In our defense,” Tae starts but shuts up when he notices the glare you shoot his way. “Never mind.”

Jungkook cackles as he carries your sons to the backyard. Namjoon shuts the front door before heading to the kitchen to grab you a bottle of water. You thank him when he hands the bottle to you and the both of you head to the backyard.

You take a seat at the table with all the snacks, waiting for lunch to be prepared. Jungkook, Jimin, Hoseok, and Taehyung chase your children around the yard. Jungkook had Yoongi build them a playground set for when they stay over to visit.

“Mommy!” your oldest comes running toward you. “What’s beer pong?”

You shoot a look at Jimin that could freeze Hell and all its inhabitants.

“It’s a game for adults,” Namjoon swoops in, taking his son from you.

“Oh,” your son laughs. “Jimin said you can’t play because you’re having a sister.”

You sigh heavily. “You’re getting a sister. Jimin needs to mind his business.”

Jimin waves from his spot. “Sorry!”

Taehyung cackles as he lifts your youngest onto his shoulders. You shake your head as Jungkook goes after them toward the slides. Your oldest screeches as he wiggles out of Namjoon’s hold to join them.

Hoseok scoops him up and runs with him, both laughing as they go. Jungkook demands to be pushed in the swing while your oldest claims the highest point as his kingdom.

Namjoon drapes his arm over your shoulder as you take in the scene unfolding before you. Seokjin and Yoongi talk animatedly about something by the grill, your other friends play with your children, and you know the baby on the way will have just as much love as your sons. Your heart swells with happiness. So much love to go around. You’ve always been loved and accepted by the seven men present, and that love has overflowed and been passed onto your children as well. You couldn’t have asked for a better group of people to call your friends; your family.

Namjoon isn’t the least bit surprised to see you crying, with a smile on your face.

“My Crybaby,” he chuckles as he kisses your forehead. “Always my Crybaby.”

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#namjoon smut #namjoon fanfic #namjoon fanfiction #namjoon x you #namjoon x reader #namjoon x reader insert #husband!namjoon #dad!namjoon #namjoon x y/n #crybaby!reader

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jinkookspencil · 7 months

Text

like couples do | knj

you run out of period products at dawn, and there's only one person who's up....

description/tags: namjoon drabble / fwb to lovers / fluff / but mentions the fact that namjoon and reader had unprotected sex (don't do this) and reader is relieved to get her period afterwards / so obviously mentions of period and blood / maybe a bit angsty? / been busy and been working on a request! but it's been a while since i wrote namjoon and, gosh, i love writing for him even though whatever comes to me for him is usually the most random bursts and ideas, like this one i thought of last night / let me know what you think <3

wc: ~1.6k words

Your gasp pulls you from heaven to hell.

Extracted from your dream, you’re out of the covers in a flash, dazed as you try to meet your reality. The room was sweltering despite autumn settling in and the fan whizzing away in your room as it always did. The sound you’d grown so accustomed to only made it harder to think, but you didn’t have to. The wet pools at your back and around your body suddenly made themselves known, with your black pajama top sticking to your sweaty skin. With a quick change into a tank top and a sip of cold water, you were ready to escape into a dreamland, far from the hellhole that had been your bedroom...

Only to be met with a small pool of a different kind when you pull away the blanket.

Fuck.

Quickly feeling between your thighs confirmed it - you bled through your shorts.

Well, at least it’s here, you think, your heart settling after days worrying about the sudden delay in your cycle. After all, Namjoon hadn’t used any protection…

It was hard to put away the mental image of him once you were in the bathroom, remembering that one time he had you propped up on the cabinet, but looking through it now, the panic returns. You were all out of pads and tampons.

This is why people have roommates. Or stupidly organized Virgo boyfriends, you think, cursing yourself while rummaging through every drawer, cupboard, and overnight bag without finding a single tampon for the evening.

The minutes spent on your phone were quick to squash any more of your hopes - the delivery service app had been shut down for the night after some seemingly catastrophic bug on their end, and your female friends who lived nearby hadn't answered your texts and calls, as expected at this time of day.

Reading the time on your phone, you knew one person who would definitely be up. The person who always showed up. The man worked ridiculous hours, following his ‘late-night creativity’… unless the universe really wanted to torture you and, for the very first time, he’d be asleep as well.

You consider running to the convenience store, double layering your bottoms with black fabrics, and taking a scooter... only for a stinging cramp to shock you at your lower back.

He had to answer.

to: joon 🌒[3:58am] - hi are you up?

to: joon🌒 [3:58am] - text asap please it’s urgent

to: y/n🍀 [4:01am] - yes i’m up. are you okay y/n?

to: y/n🍀 [4:01am] - i’m finally done with work for the night.

to: y/n🍀 [4:01am] - are you okay? i’ll call as soon as i’m out of the building.

to: joon🌒 [4:02am] - don’t call i’m embarrassed to say this to you out loud plus i'm in pain

to: joon 🌒 [4:02am] - can you get me some pads and tampons? i got my period (aka the pain) and i’m all out so….

to: joon🌒 [4:02am] - i need em and i can’t get em

to: y/n🍀 [4:03am] - y/n of course. phew i thought this was going in literally the complete opposite way considering…

to: y/n🍀 [4:03am] - anyways, aren’t we past embarrassment? never feel that when it comes to me please.

to: y/n🍀 [4:03am] - safe space just for us, remember?

to: joon🌒 [4:04am] - yes :) thanks joon

to: y/n🍀 [4:04am] - :) getting on my bike now. i’ll be there in 10.

to: y/n🍀 [4:04am] - the sky’s starting to change colors. look outside, pretty :) (1 image attached)

The knock, though expected, jolts you enough for your new bedsheet to spring away from your grasp once again. Frustrated, a groan escapes you as you walk to your front door, tightening the robe that covered your body and stained shorts.

“Sorry I’m late,” Namjoon giggles at the door, seeing your furrowed expression. “Oh, you’re most definitely on your period, huh?”

“Get in here and shut up,” you groan once more, letting him in. All too familiar with your place, he unpacks one of the bags in his hand, carefully displaying an array of period products on the nearest table.

“I’m surprised you didn’t send a photo and ask me to choose one,” you say, grabbing one of the boxes.

“I… I grabbed everything in the aisle without thinking. Shit, I should’ve sent a photo, right? Are these not good enough? Are they the wrong size? Will they fit your....? I can go to another convenience store,” he murmurs, head tilted down as he surveys the products before you.

“No, Namjoon, honey, the photo is just a thing boyfriends tend to do when they’re asked to get period products. You asked the same size and fit question, though,” you laugh before quickly realizing you compared his actions to that of a boyfriend. Something he most definitely was not.

“I lived in a dorm full of boys, how was I supposed to know?” he says, scratching his head.

“These are perfect, and I’m stocked for at least the next three months. Thank you, Joonie,” you say, squeezing his arm.

“Anytime, Y/N,” he replies quietly, pulling you closer to him so he can kiss your forehead. It only hits you both when your hand is rubbing at his back in his embrace, and it takes even longer to break away than it did to realize the situation.

Something shifts in Namjoon’s gaze when he sees you emerge from the bathroom in new pyjama shorts. “Cute PJ’s. I’m not used to seeing them on you for more than five seconds.”

“Enjoy the show, then,” you quip, plopping down next to him on the couch and extending your legs over his lap. You hadn’t really meant it as a command, but can’t help but smile catching the fact that Namjoon had obeyed. His fingers draw mindless circles at your ankles as his gaze travels upwards. Minutes are spent in silence, eyeing your thighs with intent before his eyes rest on your exposed clavicle. His circles stop, gripping your ankle and noting the undeniable rise and fall of your breathing and breasts, swollen and tender against your thin cotton tank top.

“Oh,” he finally says with a cough, breaking the silence and raising his brows. “I almost forgot. I thought you might need these.”

Leaning forward, Namjoon dumps the entire contents of the second plastic bag onto your hard coffee table. Small, colorful circles bounce off of it and onto the floor, long bars land with a thud, and instantly recognizable plastic packages are cushioned by its contents.

“Oh, Joon. I do. I do fucking need this,” you let out, almost as a moan. “You already know what I want.”

Smiling, he tears open a plastic packet of your favorite chocolate-flavored bread and another for himself. The time spent biting and savoring the pillowy snack was heavenly in the comfortable silence -save for the birds that begin to chirp from somewhere outside your window.

“Don’t worry, I haven’t forgotten the sticker,” you say, handing Namjoon the tiny square envelope in your now-empty plastic packaging. He’s quick to grab it from your hands, giddy to see whatever Pokemon character was inside.

"Take mine, too," he says, handing you his square, with an illustration of a pink, deer-like creature - not at all like the Pokemon he usually mentioned.

"Oh, she’s pretty!”

"Exactly..." he says. "Deerling, that's her name. She's a new favorite of mine, actually. Her colors change based on the different seasons in the year... and when she evolves, her deer form's antlers are basically how branches are decorated in nature: budding flowers and leaves for spring, greenery for summer, you get the picture. She's the only one that truly encapsulates the beauty of our world..."

"All that for a Pokemon? I'm jealous," you tease, but he doesn't laugh, quietly opening the envelope you'd handed to him.

“Yes!” he cheers. “I don’t have this one yet - Moltres. Ah, you really are my good luck charm, huh?"

"Am I? I guess you should keep me around, then, huh?" you say, leaning back on the couch and poking his shoulder.

"That's the plan," Namjoon says, his eyes still thoughtfully fixated on the sticker he fiddled with, but only for a moment. “Uhm… I… we… should probably get some sleep, huh? I should probably…go. Uhm, should I?”

“Do you want to go?” you ask, feeling a tightening in your chest at the thought. Just like all those nights in bed, it was too comfortable to remember that this wasn't your entire reality but stolen, secret time. Always, one found themselves reminding the other to snap back to reality. It was beautifully torturous, just as you two had liked it for so long… until it began to sink in that the beauty could stand on its own…. if only one of you had the courage.

“….No. No I don’t really want to go, Y/N. But if you want me to….”

“I don’t want you to,” you interrupt, nudging his fingertip with yours right over your knees until your hands are intertwined. “I mean someone has to help me fit that stupid sheet onto the bed... and you're quite familiar with my sheets."

“I am,” he smiles, nodding to himself and squeezing your hand with his.

“Then we can get in… and just go to sleep… or cuddle,” you wonder, feeling Namjoon's soft hand under yours.

“Like couples do?” Namjoon asks, finally meeting your gaze for the first time that night.

“Yeah… yeah, I’m thinking like couples do,” you whisper, your breath hitching on the words that spoke your once unthinkable, far-fetched desire while looking at it right in the eyes.

“Me too,” he smiles, bringing your hand up to kiss it and rest it at his dimples. “Like couples it is then.”

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solarwonux · 6 months

Text

Business Proposal || knj (8/?)

pairing: namjoon x f!reader || ex friends to lovers!au friends to lovers!au

Genre: fluff, angst, smut, slow burn, fwb!au, non idol!au, unrequited love

Warnings: slow burn, angst, fluff, flirting, semi-edited

Rating: mature, 18+

w.c: 7.0

Synopsis: Namjoon is living on borrowed time, and it’s time to cash in. His father is months from taking his last breathe and his life long dream is to watch his oldest son say “I do.”

A/n: I hope you enjoy, I will add all the extra links later. Please please please let me know your thoughts you have no idea how much it helps me. Enjoy!

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m.list | series m.list | wattpad

10 years ago.

You have circled around Dionysus Lake at least three times, in a failed attempt to calm your nerves. In all honesty you aren’t sure why you’re so nervous, it was a simple tutoring session with your friend's brother. Yet, the hammering in your heart and the pressure around your neck was impossible to ignore.

You know this has nothing to do with you finding him attractive. You can find someone attractive but not be attracted to them. Hence Jungkook. You know it has nothing to do with the fact that his meeting place of choice was the one cafe that was slightly out of the budget you set aside for iced coffees on the weekday.

What you do know is that it has everything to do with the fact that this is something new. A little hiccup in your perfectly curated daily routine. From now on every Tuesday and Thursday you will be meeting up with Kim Namjoon at seven o’clock at Serendipity Cafe. Who by some miracle will hopefully have you understanding the PEMDAS rules that you’re hundred percent sure we’re taught wrong to you. No more will be your days in which you stay at HYBE U’s seven floor library, cranking down on research or polishing essays after math class. No more will be your days that you decide that maybe it was time for some me time, and enjoy a nice long relaxing bath with different bath salts, bath bombs, and candles in an attempt to relax your racing thoughts and aching muscles.

No, now you have to squeeze in a half an hour walk after your algebra class to give yourself a breather. So, you don’t have to face your friend's brother all frazzled and annoyed that you have successfully sat through a math class without understanding a thing. Really, your nerves are really due to the fact that you don’t want to seem incompetent; but is it your fault that you’ve had incompetent math teachers or lack of math teachers throughout your academic year? It’s not your fault they couldn’t explain complex terms in a simple form. Or that they took advantage of the system to get close to younger children. You were cheated out of a decent understanding of math because the academic system simply worked against you.

It’s a thought you have been turning over and over in your head since you woke up this morning. You’ve been trying out every other excuse in the book.

“I’m sorry they had us do flawed computer programs in middle school instead of actually teaching us something.”

“You see I couldn’t really do my math homework growing up because I had ballet class at four until eight.”

“I’m actually really smart I just don’t understand how the fuck I have to apply an exponent when there’s a parenthesis involved.”

All of these excuses were dumb. A mask for the actual truth. Math was uninteresting, impalpable. It stayed constant and lacked excitement because you couldn’t see the puzzles laid out before you. That, and sometimes you sneakily read a book in the back of the class or whispered about the next big boy band with your equally as boy crazed friends Shalimar and Ruth.

Still, after your third wrap around Dionysus lake, you’ve decided that if questioned you’d just come clean.

“I’m stupid and I absolutely have no idea why we have to have letters and numbers mingle with each other.”

Hopefully he'll appreciate your honesty and grow a soft spot for you. At least that’s what you hope for. And you keep hoping for as you steadily approach the large wooden doors of Serendipity. There’s still about ten minutes until seven, but you figured you’d get there a bit early to grab a good seat. One in a section that’s quiet but not too quiet because the last thing you want while you sip on your peppermint tea is to be consumed by your overwhelming thoughts while you wait for your tutor.

You approach the counter, gripping the leather strap of your purse, going over your order in case you stumble upon your words due to pressure.

“Welcome to Serendipity whe—oh hey you’re Kookie’s girl.” The man behind the counter says in awe. While you cringe at the fact that you’re being referred to as Jungkook’s girl. You remember the doe eyed man referring to the man now wearing a button down with what seems to be condoms printed all over it as Hobi. Though his nametag states that his name is Hoseok. You try not to dwell on it for too long because he’s looking at you curiously. Probably wondering why you haven’t greeted him back or placed your order.

You shake your head, circling your moon shaped bag back to the front of your body, attempting to hide your discomfort. “Oh, hi, um, Jungkook’s just a friend.” You swallow, while he smiles in acknowledgement.

“I see, things are complicated. I get that.” He brushes you off before turning to the iPad in front of him. Before you can counteract with a ‘no it’s actually very simple, we share classes and he’s unfortunately picked me to annoy.’ He speaks up and gets right to the point. “What can I get you cutie?” He finishes, looking at you through his bangs.

The heat in your body erupts. No guy has ever been this forward with you but you’re positive this is just part of his customer service training. If he ever had one. Either way he’s talking you up and making you feel seen, which you assume is a specialty of his and probably why the cafe is crowded with many young adults.

With a grin you say. “Just a hot mint chocolate latte.” You nod in assurance before opening up your purse and taking out your wallet. When you fish your card out and go to swipe it across the reader a hand stops you. Startled, you look up to find Hobi or Hoseok smiling wide at you.

“No need, it’s already paid for.” He takes his hand away and gives you a white buzzer instead.

You furrow your brows in confusion. How has your drink already been paid for when you’ve just entered? You aren’t complaining, you did just save some money, but that small amount of happiness doesn’t mean that you aren’t confused.

The cashier seems to read your confusion and he chuckles, running a hand through his hair. “Namjoon paid for you earlier when he ordered his drink.”

“What?” You glance down at your phone to see the time. Did you get it wrong? The two of you agreed on seven, and you even confirmed it this morning through a quick text just to be sure. So, why does the analog clock on your phone read 6:55, and Namjoon has possibly already been waiting for you.

You curse under your breath and quickly put your wallet in your purse before turning around to look at the almost empty cafe. There’s only a couple of people occupying the circular tables. All of them fully immersed in their books or laptop screens. Namjoon is nowhere in sight. You look back at Hoseok—you’ve decided to refer to him as such since it’s what’s on his nametag—and he laughs at your confusion.

He lifts up a finger signaling up, “he’s on the second floor, got here about an hour ago.”

His statement doesn’t do anything but worsen the panic already coursing through your veins. Maybe you did misinterpret the time, still it wouldn’t make sense because wouldn’t he have texted you by now asking where you were?

“Um thank you…”

“Call me Hobi.” He waves a hand in front of your face. “Any friend or special friend of the boys gets the privilege to call me Hobi. Plus Hoseok—” He points to his nametag with a boney finger. “Sounds too serious.” He shrugs.

You nod your head. “Thank you Hobi.” You rush out the acknowledgement and turn around and speed walk to the industrial style spiral staircase.

It’s a dizzying journey up, but once you make it to the final step you spot the man that has your nerves at an all time high. He’s sitting in the far corner next to a floor to ceiling window. His back is hunched as he types away on his laptop. Today he’s ditched the beanie and you can see his dark brown hair. A few strands of his bangs sneak their way behind the thick rims of his black glasses. He’s wearing a simple gray long sleeve, with black sweatpants. He looks relaxed, the opposite of what you’re feeling because the thing you hate most in the world is keeping people waiting.

With quick steps you approach the table, halting when you get to the front of a chair. “I’m sorry, I thought we agreed on seven.” You rush out instead of a proper greeting. In a quick motion he lifts his head and takes off the earbuds inside his ears, and you feel like more of an idiot than before because of course he would be wearing noise canceling earbuds.

“Hey, you’re here. Did you order something? I told Hobi that I would just pay for what you wanted.” He grins and stands up, extending his hand for you in a handshake.

You put your hand in his and feel a shiver run down your spine when his cold one meets your clammy one. “Am I late?” You tilt your head to the side.

Namjoon shakes his head, and lets go of your hand before sitting down again. “No, you’re right on time. I just got here a bit early to get a head start on an essay due by the end of the week.” He reassures you, and finally you can let out the breath you had been holding in.

You feel calmer now. Relieved. You set down your stuff on an empty chair and take the seat directly in front of him. You place your white buzzer in front of you, tracing the circular ridges. Now, that you’re not in such a panicked state you can finally show your gratitude to his selfless actions. “Thank you for the drink, you didn’t have to pay for it.”

The busy man smiles and waves his hand in front of his face to brush you off. “It’s no big deal, Hobi gives me discounts anyway.”

“So, I’ve heard.” You whisper recalling the first night you met him a week ago. Since then, Jungkook snuck his brother’s phone number to you the next day at the library. He didn’t say anything, he just passed by you with a green drink from the only smoothie place on campus and a sticky note saying:

Text Namjoon, he’s forgetful. -JK

It took the whole day to muster up the courage but finally you sent a simple text regarding your name and the fact that his younger brother had been the one to sneak you his number. In case, he assumed you had gone through multiple deep dives on the internet to retrieve it. Thankfully, Namjoon didn’t question it and just replied with a simple greeting. Then the two of you got into a brief conversation that lasted about two days because you’re also forgetful and forgot to reply to his messages. Basically coordinating a plan further than the one you had discussed the first time you met.

It was strictly business. Yet, a part of you felt a little happy that you were meeting and talking to somebody new.

Just as you’re about to take out your small notebook and pen from your purse your buzzer comes to life, filling the spaces of silence in the air surrounding the two of you. Namjoon’s eyes tear away from his computer screen, and you’re about to stand up when he beats you to it. He quickly grabs a hold of the noisy device saying, “Don’t worry I got it,” and he disappears down the stairs.

You’re now sitting by yourself, wallowing in your over consuming thoughts. Most of them involve the story Jungkook told you about his very eventful weekend while the two of you were walking to your math lecture earlier today. Truly, it was so odd knowing that he had run into Taehyung at a club in the rich part of town. The two of them stayed together the entire night and even brought home two girls to Taehyung’s apartment. Thankfully, he didn’t share further than that, but he did share that he was in love. In which you rolled your eyes so hard it gave you vertigo.

In the few months that you have known the man. He has claimed that he has been in love with every single girl he’s slept with. Which surprisingly, given his flirty nature was not a lot. What was surprising to you was Taehyung being at the club. It’s not out of character for him, but Saturday nights were always spent at Jimin’s one bedroom apartment catching up on life, and binge watching One Piece. When his text message came through on Saturday evening saying that he wasn’t feeling very well and skipping out. You couldn’t help but feel a little sad because you hadn’t seen him in a while.

Taehyung was always out and about, chasing every new adventure he could grasp. He called it inspiration for his art, but you always knew there was another underlying reason. One he never cared to explain because in all honesty it only made sense to him. He was a tough book to get through. Sometimes it keeps you questioning why you even have a soft spot for it. Though, you suppose it is the backstory the two of you share. Still, you couldn’t help but feel a little bit hurt knowing he had chosen to not ditch you but Jimin as well.

The night wasn’t a bust and you managed to finally make a significant breakthrough on the anime. Twenty episodes in one night was something that needed to be awarded. It did feel a bit awkward when it was just the two of you. It was as if there was an invisible ceiling slowly crushing you, because on Saturday for the first time ever the two of you found yourself stuck. Nothing to talk about. No updates on life, only the sound of the anime doing its best to fill the void of Taehyung not being there that the both of you unspokenly felt.

It made you question a lot of things. Like was it maybe time to finally part ways? A chilling thought that sent shivers down your spine and one you pushed so far into the back of your head. One you really don’t want to think about now, especially when you’re about to succumb yourself to a full extra hour of torture. Otherwise known as: College Algebra.

“Hobi says that if you take a picture of his latte art to tag him if you post it.” Namjoon voices, placing a small tray in front of your open notebook. A white mug with a beautiful Jack O'Lantern drawn in white foam decorates the top of your warm decaffeinated latte. It’s impressive, surely puts all those swans and hearts to shame.

“He’s a big fan of Halloween, and he always says that fall time means it's Halloween everyday.” Namjoon finishes with a chuckle, as he takes the seat in front of you again.

You laugh a little, fishing out your phone from the pocket of your jean jacket. “I can get behind that.” You say as you click on the camera app and snap a couple of pictures.

Unbeknownst to you, Namjoon is watching as you rearrange the contents on the table. To get the right aesthetic for your perfect picture. He can’t lie, it's a little endearing, seeing somebody so excited over latte art he has grown accustomed to seeing. It’s something he will definitely spill onto Hoseok before he leaves. His friend was crazy talented in many areas and he hates that instead of sharing all his passions out with the world. He’s stuck running Serendipity because his grandfather wanted the neighborhood's hub to stay in the Jung family. When he should be out in the world sharing his clothing designs with anyone who’s willing to listen.

Namjoon’s thoughts are interrupted by your extended hand, holding out your phone for him. “What’s his instagram?” You grin, and his eyes make their way to the small phone screen. A beautifully taken picture, showing off the spooky pumpkin with a caption reading,

Halloween should be all year round @--

Namjoon lets out an ‘ah’ before taking your phone and quickly typing out his friend's handle. He reads the caption again, double checking to see if he made any mistakes, Halloween should be all year round @uramyhope.

He nods in approval and hands you back your phone. Deep down he feels a surge of something foreign. He can’t necessarily put his finger on it but regarding Hoseok’s statement when he first met you last week, when he asked both his brother and him for your number. He feels a little strange, knowing that he’s basically given the two of you a way to start communicating outside of him and Jungkook. Knowing the aspiring designer, he won’t miss a beat, and that makes him feel a bit odd.

He shrugs it off though, pushes away the churning in his stomach, concluding that it was because he chose to consume caffeine so late in the evening. He looks back at his computer screen, while you type away on your phone. He continues to ignore it, saves the document on his computer two times before closing the lid. He pushes it aside, and clears his throat, catching your attention.

Quickly you lock your phone and stuff it into the pocket of your jacket. You look over at Namjoon, his hands clasped in front of him and a scowl prominent on his face. It resembled the same one he transformed into the first night you met him. When he coldly stated he was done with blind dating thanks to his mother and step brother. Though, this time it does feel less intense, probably due to the fact that he knows you’re just here to be his tutee and not his future wife.

Still, it lets you know that time was ticking and it was finally time to get down to business.

“How have you gone on this long without understanding the basic principles of algebra?”

Namjoon is serious. He means business and you’re about to pull out the hair from your scalp.

“Maybe because I never had a permanent math teacher, they’d all leave in the middle of the year.” You pout, crossing your arms in front of you and slumping down in your seat.

He lets out a sigh before sliding your notebook to his side of the table. The metal spiral scratching against the wooden surface, letting out an unpleasant noise making you cringe.

“That’s a good excuse.” He says, grabbing his red pen and making all sorts of marks along the paper. You don’t need to know what steps you got wrong while solving the math problem. You know exactly where you went wrong. It was the second you signed up for the class even if you didn’t have much of a choice.

You groan, throwing your head back. “It’s not an excuse. My eighth grade teacher left in the middle of the year because she got pregnant, my ninth grade teacher unfortunately was diagnosed with cancer. Then my tenth grade teacher was accused of being a pedophile so he was fired an—“

“Okay,” Namjoon cuts you off, setting down his pen on top of your notebook. “I understand, your school was just shitty at keeping teachers around.” He grins, placing the notebook in front of you again. “But did you ever do your math homework?” He tilts his head to the side in curiosity.

Unfortunately you’ve been caught. “No,” you whisper, dragging your fingernail down the spiral.

The sound he lets out tells you enough. He’s proven his point with the sarcastic hum that escapes his mouth. “In my defense I had dance practice everyday after school from two to four and the ballet from five to eight.” You add but it does little to prove your innocence. Instead, it makes you look guiltier or maybe not you but your parents because who would choose an extracurricular activity over academics. Especially when they knew their daughter was absolute shit at math. They did try though, but even the math tutor they hired back in high school could not get through to you.

“I see,” he puts a pensive hand on his chin leaning back. The look he gives you makes you feel small. You can’t tell if he’s judging your upbringing or the you now who can’t seem to understand the simple PEMDAS rules.

“Your problem isn’t even that bad. It’s easy to fix. You know what each operation does. You just get confused with the order along the way.” He leans forward, picking up the pen and pointing to the problem you just finished doing. “You know to do parenthesis first, but then you forget that parenthesis don’t really go away. That’s your first mistake.”

It’s like a lightbulb has suddenly flicked on inside your head as you watch him solve the problem while thoroughly explaining each step. Writing out every single step even if it was unnecessary, but it helps.

“So the answer should be seventeen and not twenty-two.” He finishes, and the puzzle slowly starts to connect itself before your eyes. The steps are laid out perfectly and neatly. The parenthesis stay until the equation is factored to the lowest it can go. And you’re about to jump across the table to give the man before you the biggest hug. He’s the only one who's been able to point out what you’ve done wrong your whole life and then explain it easily.

You lift your head up, wide eyed and say “oh, that makes sense.”

Namjoon laughs, almost as if he’s relieved but also disbelieved. You start to feel bad because for the past hour he’s been trying to explain to you the basic principles in every way possible. And it was only until he explained it to you in baby terms that you finally understood. You’re about to apologize, but instead you’re left stunned by his next words.

“I’m giving you homework for the next time we see each other on Thursday.” He hums, flipping to the next page. Your eye twitches a little at the thought of math homework. If you never did it while you were in school and getting graded for it, why would you do it now?

“Homework?”

He hums, and begins to write down a bunch of different math problems. He can sense that you’re about to fill him with different complaints, so he speaks up. “Do you want to pass math class?

“Yes, but do you really need to give me homework?”

“How many hours were you in dance class growing up?”

“I don’t remember like five hours, but what does that have to do with you giving me math homework.”

“What were you doing for five hours?” He lifts his head, handing you your notebook. You take it looking down at the ten perfectly curated algebra problems.

You want to throw up.

“Practicing.”

“Exactly, and how are you going to pass math?”

You huff, seeing exactly where his question was heading. Proving a point or whatever. Jungkook did mention his brother was a bit of a smart ass. Now you’re unfortunate enough to be at the receiving end.

With a grunt you close your notebook. “Fine, I'll do the homework.”

Namjoon smirks, tapping his ear, leaning in further into the table. “No, I want to hear you say it please.”

You stuff your small spiral notebook into your purse, snatching your special pink mechanical pencil from his side of the table. You spent too much money on it to let—your stupid math tutor who is now giving you homework to make you suffer—steal it.

“I need to practice math.” You mumble, zipping up your bag, and putting it over your shoulder.

Namjoon laughs, letting his red pen fall against the wooden table with a clank. You roll your eyes before standing up. At least your suffering was amusing to someone.

You cross your arms in front you waiting for his laughter to die down. When it does he looks at you, watery eyes from joy and you feel a slight tug in the inside of your chest. You push it to the side, convince yourself that it’s just the irritation bubbling up inside of you.

“Are you done?”

He nods, shuffles around the table to put his stuff away. “How are you getting home?” He questions, standing up and hoisting his vintage messenger bag over his shoulder.

You shrug, “the bus.” You state, pulling up your phone to check the bus schedule. If you can catch the next bus that comes in ten minutes then you’ll still be able to get home with a couple of seconds left of daylight.

“I’ll go with you then.” He states firmly, standing up abruptly and walking past you. It leaves you no room to argue against him.

You’re quickly starting to realize that once he says something firmly enough to be believed as the truth. There is absolutely no room left for a final say.

And they call you stubborn…as if.

The bus arrived a minute late. A minute that felt longer than what it should’ve felt. The two of you were the only ones standing side by side under the dim light of the bus stop.

It’s one thing to be in the same room as your tutor while the only thing the two of you talk about is math. It’s another thing to have him offer to walk you home. There’s no conversation. There’s no way to start a conversation. The only thing you really know about him is that he’s still studying, he is Jungkook’s step brother and he’s a philosophy major. The only philosophers you knew off were the ones from Ancient Greece. All the readings for your Introduction to Modern Rhetorics course that you were assigned to do were somewhere buried in the back of your mind.

You don’t want to start up a conversation in which you know you won’t be able to keep up. You remember very little about the readings and somehow the things you do remember blend into one another. So you can’t differentiate between what one philosopher said and what the other said.

Instead, Namjoon and you walk in silence. At a safe distance but close enough to still feel the presence of the other. Then you stand in the bus stop. Neither of you sit on the cold metal bench because it’s still not cold enough for them to turn on the bench warmers. And when you see that the bus is a minute late, you start to feel the slightly awkward air around the two of you get thicker.

You’re about to bite the bullet, take the embarrassing moment for some sort of small talk when the bright blue bus turns the corner. You watch it approach the stop fast. At least that’s what it feels like and soon enough the driver opens the double doors to welcome the two of you.

Surprisingly it’s not full. There are a few people occupying the seats, but there’s enough room to not feel like you’re being squished upon one another. Namjoon lets you enter first. Once you click your transit card against the reader you scan the rows for an empty seat. And of course, there’s two left in the far back. You walk to it quickly. Pass the exhausted bystanders and take the seat against the window.

After all, you will be here for the next twenty five minutes. Though, it’s not only occurred to you that you don’t know where Namjoon lives, until he takes up the seat next to yours. You want to ask if he’s going out of his way or if his place is along this route. But you don’t want to pry too much. You’ve only just met him officially. You also don’t know what you would do with yourself if it does turn out that his place is out of the way. Probably, apologize profusely for being such an inconvenience.

To save yourself from the discomfort you sights upon the buildings outside the window. Your daydreaming only lasts a few seconds when you feel a light tap against your shoulder. In a quick motion you turn your head to face the man sitting next to you. You tilt your head in question and he opens his mouth to speak.

“What’s the deal with you and Jungkook?”

The question feels like you’ve been hit by whiplash. It’s not the first time you get asked about it. Your longtime friend Jina has brought it up a few times, but you always reply with the same exact answer. “I guess we’re friends.” You shrug.

Namjoon hums in acknowledgment, nodding his head. He looks ahead for a few minutes before looking back at you. “Are you sure?”

Now, this question takes you aback. Nobody’s ever questioned your honesty. At least until now.

You quirk a brow and nod. “Yes, we share a few classes and sometimes we study together. But it always feels like I’m there to study and he’s just there to talk because he never shuts up.” You rant.

“Ah,” he chuckles, moving his head in confirmation. “That sounds like him, when he was younger he never talked, but then he turned fifteen got a little confident because he found out a few people found him cute and he just never stopped talking then.” Namjoon reveals, making you smile. “He also talks in his sleep.” He adds, smiling when he hears you let out a giggle.

Suddenly, it doesn’t feel as awkward as before. It feels a bit simpler. And you find yourself leaning into his aura a little more.

“I think he likes you though.” He adds, making your eyes grow wide in surprise. Maybe you’re dumb or you just don’t understand flirting thanks to the two very unserious relationships you had between the transition of high school and college. But from what you do know is that Jungkook holds no romantic feelings or a liking towards you. That’s something you’re very confident in.

“I don’t think so.” You scoff. “He would be stupid if he did.” You wave him off, and look out the window. You catch his reflection in the glass. He’s looking down at you, smiling in amusement. It somehow makes your cheeks get a bit hot and you divert your gaze down to the metal border of the window.

“He sat me down on our couch last night and laid down some ground rules.” He speaks up, looking ahead again. He lifts his hand and starts, “I’m not allowed to let you out of my sight, I have to be nice to you, and Hobi is not allowed under any circumstances get your number, which somehow I failed at doing.” He shrugs and counts with his fingers as if that proves his statement.

You stare at his hand before looking up at him again, you’re at a loss for words. Your thoughts are all jumbled up. Somehow you know tonight you won’t be able to sleep. You will now be questioning every single interaction you’ve had with Jungkook in the past few months.

Clearing your throat you say, “that doesn’t mean he like…has feelings for me.”

He lifts his hands up in defense. Your tone is harsh and he finds it amusing. He continues, “don’t shoot the messenger, I’m just relaying information on something I’ve observed.”

You finally turn to look at him. Your eyebrows are drawn together in a scowl. “No offense but your observation is stupid.” You cross your arms in a huff, pouting like a child. It makes Namjoon laugh loud enough to turn heads, causing you to look at him alarmed. It only makes him laugh harder and when you’re about to reprimand him, the automatic voice sounds in the speakers of the bus. It announces your stop and you scramble quickly to press the bright red button to stop the bus.

This shuts Namjoon up, he looks around, biting the inside of his cheek before nodding his head in confirmation. “This is your stop,” he voices just as the bus comes to a halt.

You nod, taking out your bus card from your purse and standing up. He copies your movements, makes his way to the card scanner and places his card against it. He doesn’t wait for you to exit he simply does and stands outside on the sidewalk, hands in his pocket. You scan your card and take the leap of faith from the bus stairs to the sidewalk. You land next to him, thanking your lucky stars for catching you and finally you voice out the question that’s been dying in the back of your throat.

“This is not your stop is it?”

“It’s not but, I promised Jungkook you would get home safely.” With that he turns on his heels and escapes the light of the stop, appearing again a few feet ahead underneath the street light. “Are you coming?”

“Do you do everything Jungkook says?” You grumble. The argument in which you state that you’re a big girl who is more than capable of walking home by herself escapes you. Only because when you’re finally standing in front of him. His head towering just a few inches above yours, it finally hits you. The jolt that springs in the pit of your stomach. The tug inside your heart that will have you up all night because it feels like a terrible case of heartburn. And the seed, his soft gaze plants inside of your mind.

It’s a mistake, a big one and you’re now regretting taking up Jungkook’s offer to have his brother tutor you. This wasn’t what was supposed to happen at all. The slow cascade down the wall you’ve built surrounding your emotions. You can feel it crumble already, ready to run down a dead end street, because that’s what it feels like. Whatever you’re feeling inside.

“I don’t.” The soft timbre of his voice brings out, you’re thankful it helps you find your way back down to the ground, but you’re not a fan of the way it paints goosebumps across your arms.

He continues, “I don’t want him to lecture me for not looking out after his friend.” He emphasizes the last part, combining it with a wink. You know what he is implying and you can’t help but feel a bit of the drink you had an hour ago threatening to make its way up your throat.

“You’re not going to give up are you?” You walk past him. It’s best to have him a few feet behind than right next to you. The space gives you time to regain yourself, yet it doesn’t last because in seconds he’s right next to you. His arm is so close. It almost brushes against yours. Thankfully it doesn’t but you can smell his cologne. It’s soft, and warm. Like fresh laundry on a sunday morning. It makes your insides burn and you know that from now on you will be looking for that scent everywhere so you can call it yours.

Namjoon shakes his head. “I’ve never seen him this protective over someone apart from his mom.” He whispers now, and the lower his voice gets the lower it sinks inside of you. “You must be special to him.” He concludes.

“I think I’m just the first girl who's never kissed his toes and finds him annoying.” You halt in front of a street light, and he stops with you. The little man signals red—do not go. You turn your head from side to side questioning your safety. If you run now, you will likely still be alive but most importantly away from the man next to you. Honestly, you’re a bit confused. When he was talking about algebra the only thing you could focus on was how to get from point a to point b while solving the problem.

Now that the moon is dim and the streets are emptying out. The only thing you can think about is how soft and ethereal he looks. Nothing like how when you first met him, but something straight out of a modernized fairy tale. It’s hitting you unexpectedly and you begin to wonder if it’s because your exhaustion is finally settling in, making you delusional.

“That could be true, but I think that you’re here to stay for a long time.” He chuckles. The little man switches to green and he takes the step.

“Why do you say that?” You walk fast to catch up to him. You realize that he is blindly following you and you to him. Sure, you’re almost home, but he’s leading the way as if he knows where he’s going. As if he’s done this before with you and has been doing this with you his entire life. It doesn’t do anything to calm your beating heart.

He stays quiet. He keeps on walking, stealing secret glances your way to see if he’s still at the same pace as you. It stays this way until you stop in front of a cute town house. The door is decorated with an autumn reef. The worlds ‘welcome fall,’ take up the entire circumference. There’s a red bell on the handle, to signal when someone is home since the doorbell has been broken ever since you could remember.

You’re home. But for some reason it had already felt like you were home.

“If it’s not Kook then it’s Hobi. Plus I need to make sure you pass math.” He voices.

You look at him, tilting your head in confusion. Until your mouth widens in a silent ‘oh’ recalling the question he had failed to answer a minute ago.

“I think your brain has been corrupted by reading into things while you do your research.”

He chuckles, “again don’t shoot the messenger, it’s not surprising though.” He shrugs, “My brother never shuts up about you, and Hobi hasn’t stopped asking for your contact information since you first walked into Serendipity a week ago.”

You roll your eyes, turning away from him and pressing your palm against the keypad of your house. It lights up, showing numbers and you quickly enter the code, wait for the little lock to signal it has been unlocked and you turn the knob.

Before you walk in you turn to face him again. “I won’t argue with you against the whole Hobi thing. But I know Jungkook doesn’t have feelings for me. If he did he wouldn’t tell me about all the dates he’s gone on and ask for advice whenever he has relationship or situationship problems. Plus he says he’s in love with someone he met this weekend.” You reason.

Namjoon takes his hands out of his pockets, raising his hands in defeat again. “Fine I’ll drop it, but I do think he finds you special. That’s all.” He states firmly and once again you’re reminded of that tone. He’s gotten the last word and you won’t bring up another one because if not then you’d be walking a tight circle around each other.

“Agree to disagree.” You smile, taking one step inside your house. “I’ll take your word for now. Thank you for walking me home. You didn’t have to even if Jungkook asked you to.”

He buries his hands into his pockets and grins. “I also wanted to.” He takes one step back. “Good night, I’ll see you on Thursday.” And with that he turns around, starts his way down the same path that led the two of you here.

Home.

You’re left astounded. In a rush to feel comfort once again, you hurry through the door, slamming it behind you, pressing your back against it. For a moment you’re scared your parents might find you in this state, wallowing in feelings you can’t begin to understand. Then you remember that they were at dinner with their friends, and you’re thankful that you still have some time to regain yourself.

Namjoon’s words cut deep. Not what he said about Jungkook. You know as well as you know your name that romantic feelings between the two of you are nonexistent. But you also know that he said he wanted to walk you home.

Chivalry might not be dead but the bar is low, because he wanted…he wanted…he wanted to wa—

Beep.

Your phone goes off signaling a message. With all the ditzyness a girl with a school girl crush can have. You fish out your phone with a haste, what if it’s him.

Though, that thought dies as quickly as it was conjured. It’s not him, but it’s a notification that in the same right births a little flame inside of you. Maybe not as bright as the one Namjoon left behind, but it has the potential to grow into something more.

uarmyhope wants to send you a message.

Your smile gets wide when you swipe across the notification. It opens up to your Instagram and it quickly directs you to your DMS.

You open it, and you feel a spark when you read the few choice words that were chosen. They’re simple but they’re enough. And they’re the start of a long night of getting to know someone else.

Your next latte is on me cutie.xx

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flowerwrites06 · 5 months

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affairs of state — knj

AFFAIRS OF STATE | Kim Namjoon | Oneshot | Request

Original Request: Can I request for a President Namjoon x Reader (she can be an assistant or a just a simple fun loving girl who meets Namjoon out of nowhere). Namjoon falls for her, BAD and try his hardest to make her the light of his life. Make it angstyyyyy yum I love angst 😭 – @sarzkh31 Plot: The allures of power and politics is a tumultuous one and it creates a strain on Namjoon's budding love. Pairing: President!Namjoon x Secretary!OC (Name: Minnie) Genre: Politics AU | Angst Type: Oneshot Rating: MA15+ Word Count: 3.8k+ Warnings: angst (messy encounters), sexual content (quickie, unprotected). Author’s Note: here we are the req for november! it's a little unedited, I apologize, this week got hectic for me but I hope you still enjoy!

Requests are open at the moment so click here to send your ideas in!!

The air in the main office held a subtle buzz each morning as Minnie entered, a stack of papers in hand. Late afternoon sun filtered through the transparent curtains, casting a warm glow over the room. Namjoon sat at his deep mahogany table, polished beautifully and adorned by files and vintage pen sets from leaders before him. His dark hair sleek back with just a strand over his forehead, lips pursed in concentration as he looked through the morning news. His black coffee sat next to him, exuding gentle plumes of steam.

Minnie took a few slow steps absentmindedly so she could admire his focus in solitude. But her heels tapped just enough against the wood to move his attention. “I’ve the latest reports for you,” she said, making her voice a blend of professionalism and warmth.

Namjoon fully looked up from his desk, brown eyes softening at the sight of her mimicking the slight melt of his heart. “Always diligent and on time with piling on work,” he said playfully.

Minnie chuckled, setting the papers on his desk. “It’s my job, sir.”

Namjoon placed the newspaper down as he leaned back in his chair, eyes never leaving hers. “And looking stunning is part of your job too?”

Heat crept onto Minnie’s cheeks, but she quickly composed herself. “Thank you, sir, but flattery won’t get you out of these reports.” She tapped the pile.

Namjoon grinned, only musing and relishing in her reaction. “I’m just appreciating my morning view.”

“Real smooth,” she raised a brow.

“It’s a skill,” Namjoon smirked. “Gotta hone it with you around.”

Minnie shook her head with a chuckle, turning to leave the office. “I’ve got some meetings for you in the late afternoon so make sure those reports are signed.”

“How about a meeting with you?” Namjoon leaned forward. “We must have some business matters to discuss.”

Minnie opened the door behind her with a playful gleam in her eyes. “Strictly business, I assume?”

Namjoon grinned. “Of course.”

Minnie closed the door immediately, biting down her bottom lip and taking a deep breath to calm the pounding of her heart. Every work day was going to be a near heart attack if this kept going.

Despite Minnie’s efforts in maintaining her façade of indifference, a subtle flow of emotions lingered at the back of her mind of Namjoon. She tried to shove those feelings down, anchoring herself in a veneer of professionalism so she doesn’t get consumed. However, her strength was not beyond certain sights.

In Namjoon’s mansion, Minnie organised a gathering amongst members of parliament. At the youngest hours of the party, Namjoon captured the people’s attention with his charisma and air of comfort. Minnie usually stood next to him, wearing a simple brown dress to blend into the hardwood floors and furnishings of the house.

Except deep into the festivities, while Minnie was distracted with the catering organisation, Namjoon was nowhere to be found, leaving a void in the proceedings.

A wave of politicians sent questions Minnie’s way, asking about his sudden disappearance. She reassured them with as much composure as possible before rushing to search for Namjoon.

Minnie looked to the bathrooms and bedrooms first but Namjoon was nowhere to be found. The final option was the private library where Namjoon went for his quiet hours. Perhaps he needed some time to breathe.

However, when Minnie reached the door of the private library, she heard the echoes of a woman’s laughter. It gave her pause for a moment before she continued.

Cracking the door open, Minnie’s eyes widened at the scene inside. Namjoon entangled himself with a woman, the actress who he had been speaking to. She wore a dazzling blue dress glimmering as they moved. Glasses half full of whiskey ignored on the coffee table, and a dizzying blend of perfume and cologne, the mix of Namjoon with his new lover.

Something twisted and gnawed at Minnie’s chest, a clear proof that the flirtations she’d been cherishing were just that. Harmless flirtation. Meaningless.

Gathering what strength was left in her, Minnie took a deep breath to calm herself. “Sir,” she spoke, her voice cutting through the room’s sensual air.

The actress and Namjoon turned towards her, the latter’s drunken smile waning.

“They want you back in the living room,” Minnie declared, her gaze unwavering.

Namjoon, grappling with the sudden intrusion, cleared his throat. “Right.”

The woman gracefully disentangled herself.

As Namjoon adjusted his dishevelled appearance in the mirror, Minnie looked away to maintain any level of control in the flurry of emotions being pushed deep into her chest.

The actress was left to deal with a failed opportunity in luring the country’s leader into a fling. She stayed in the room in perpetual silence.

Minnie and Namjoon stepped out of the room with that same suffocating distance forming between them.

“Minnie,” Namjoon called her name with such softness that it nearly melted Minnie back to her usual self.

But she knew better. The remnants of the woman’s perfume still lingered on his shirt and even as she looked up, a smudge of lipstick stained the collar of his shirt. Minnie hardened quickly. “We shouldn’t keep them waiting any longer.”

Namjoon tried to reach out to pull her back and Minnie stepped away, holding her hand up.

“You’re drunk, please.” Minnie intertwined her fingers together, trying to relax her nerves. “Let’s just go.”

Namjoon stammered, pain panging in his chest as Minnie turned her back to him again. All he could do was grapple with the reality of what he had done and follow quietly back to work.

The next day began as uncomfortably as Namjoon expected. Formality consumed the daily activities as Minnie gave him the rundown of the day without looking away from her computer screen. He hated how good she was at building walls around herself, making it impossible to push through without breaking his skull or going mad.

To distract himself, Namjoon tried to drink coffee and focus on the morning reports instead. His head ached from his irritating hangover that acted as steel weights on his back.

“Your first meeting is in fifteen minutes, sir.” Minnie broke the silence, her voice modulated and her eyes strayed away from him completely.

Namjoon looked up at her properly which was a terrible mistake. It forced him to look at her face chilled and distant, her beautiful curls hugging her face, a sage green shirt and a deep brown pencil skirt with her favourite pair of crème heels. She looked lovely and further away from him than ever before. “Minnie, we need to talk about last night.” He noticed her pause, fingers hovered over the keyboard and her throat bobbing ever so slightly.

“There’s nothing to talk about, sir.” Minnie said. “You’re a single man and you were with someone. It’s perfectly human and normal but there was just work to be done. Otherwise I wouldn’t have disturbed you.”

“Stop talking like that.” Namjoon didn’t mean for it to sound like an order but he despised every minute of being treated like a stranger by her. Out of all people, not her. “Please. Be angry with me, scold me, anything but don’t do this.”

Minnie’s eyes twitched when she finally saw the melted look in his gaze, choked full of sadness and regret. The twist in her chest made her wince. She looked back down at the laptop. “You made no commitment to me, Namjoon. We work together and you’re charismatic. Realistically, you would end up with someone like that girl. Even not, leaders like you always end up in bed with those girls anyway. I’m just glad we weren’t committed.”

Namjoon let out a light breath of disbelief. “I wouldn’t have done it if we were together.”

Minnie sighed. “You can’t know that for sure and I’m not waiting to see something like that again.” Irritation crept in her tone.

Namjoon welcomed it, however. It was better than cold. “You won’t see it happen again. I wasn’t flirting with you just because I could, I wanted to. I care about you.”

Minnie blinked slowly, a part of her so willing to soften and relish herself into Namjoon’s comforting arms. But a buzz went off in the office. She pressed the message machine. “Yes?”

“Mr. Jung is here,” the assistant outside spoke back.

“Let them wait,” Namjoon said.

“We can’t let them wait.” Minnie stood to her feet and walked to the door to welcome him. “It’s better if we leave this be.”

Those words crushed any little hope left in Namjoon of reviving what they had been tenderly growing. In a way, Namjoon understood it. In all this grand allure and beauty of the world he was in, Namjoon knew of the stories of leaders taking advantage of their power, using the people around them. That night Namjoon fell into the trap. Any excuse he used wouldn’t change that he repeated history that night and Minnie was simply choosing not to be the fool that falls with him.

Defeated, Namjoon didn’t argue further, fighting to preserve whatever work bond was left between them.

Two weeks had passed since their confrontation. Namjoon found more comfort in drinking whiskey to calm himself down while using every ounce of his sanity not to look over at Minnie whenever they worked. They only spoke in work terms nowadays without a single whisper of something playful or happy. For a moment, they had a friendly conversation about someone else before falling back into silence.

Minnie sat up quickly when it was time for her break at work to get some tea instead of coffee since her heart kept pounding against her chest. She smelled the lingering whiskey in the room mixing in his cologne and swirling in her head like a maddening song. As she reached the kitchens, she took a deep breath, leaning against the counter.

She turned on the tea kettle, letting the sweeping sound of heat calm her down.

“The boss stressing you out?” Woosung’s voice resounded as he came to fill up his cup of coffee.

“It’s good to get some air,” Minnie said, still focusing more on the sound of the tea kettle.

“I agree,” Woosung leaned his back against the counter. “I hardly get to see you by yourself. Maybe we could get some lunch for a few minutes.”

Minnie eyed him for a moment in confusion as the tea kettle turned off, leaving them with an awkward silence. “That’s fine, I still have work to do.”

“Dinner then?” Woosung asked. “I could get one of the other congressmen to take him to a club.”

“That’s not appropriate.”

Woosung chuckled. “We heard about the actress debacle, I don’t think he cares.” He spoke in between them, relishing in the gossip like that moment wasn’t cutting into Minnie’s heart. “It’s probably best you stay away from him.”

Minnie’s expression hardened, mostly to keep herself from falling apart again. “I work with him, that’s not really possible.” She put an earl grey tea bag into her cup and poured the hot water, hyper-focusing on the warm steam and delicate smell of tea wafting in her nose. Grabbing her cup, she tried to walk back to her office before Woosung stopped her.

“Listen, I’m just saying not to get obsessed with following him around.”

“And getting lunch with you instead at the expense of my job?” Minnie asked, raising a brow. “You think I don’t know why your wife left you?”

Woosung’s expression soured as he cleared his throat.

Minnie hummed in disapproval. “You’re not different. None of you are.” She brushed past him and stomped out of the room, feeling angrier than she did in Namjoon’s office.

Another gathering took place on a Friday night which Minnie planned as dread seeped through her veins like a disease. She wore a black dress this time on the night of the occasion and a set of pearls that her mother gifted to her when she received this job. It kept Minnie grounded in some strange way and she cherished the Band-Aid effect of the feeling.

Namjoon wore a stylish blue suit with a tie that had flecks of gold on it, making it shine under the Crystal chandeliers. He captured everyone with a smile that seemed to have forgotten any of that puppy dog pity he had before. As she expected. Namjoon had far too much padding and allure in his life to dwell on her for too long.

Minnie was just glad she left while the wounds could still heal and fade quickly. She kept an eye on the celebrations to ensure everything ran smoothly and for the most part, it did.

Until she saw the actress, whom Minnie found out was called Jangmi, a budding star in her industry and gaining powerful connections in her social circle. She wore a pretty, glimmering green dress as she whisked through the crowd like water against stone and carried herself to Namjoon.

Namjoon caught her presence and his expression turned into that of a slight dread. Minnie recognized it but didn’t think too much. It probably was just a fling and didn’t need to be addressed, yet somehow that felt more painful.

Almost as if any feelings shared between Minnie and Namjoon were enough to be toppled by a few drinks and loose lips. Weak and frail things they built.

Much to her distaste, Namjoon’s gaze moved to find Minnie and she quickly tried to look away. For a moment, Minnie wanted to run away somewhere but then the thing she feared most and expected least happened.

“Helmina, isn’t it?” Jangmi spoke towards her, while forcefully guiding Namjoon along like she was a queen and he was her puppy. “We’re so sorry for the…inconvenience last time, dear.” She patted Namjoons shoulder, pulling on a leash. “We’ll promise to wait till after the party this time.” She giggled.

Minnie pressed her lips into a thin line. “That’s fine, Ms. Kwon.” She attempted a kind smile.

“We don’t need to trouble my secretary on delicate matters now,” Namjoon said with a nervous tick in his tone.

“Oh, I’m just tying up loose ends. I just hate awkward situations.” Jangmi grinned, staring at Minnie like she was nothing but Namjoon’s furniture, patted down and soothed after kicking into it.

“I agree.” Minnie spoke through gritted teeth.

“See? Just a bit of friendliness.” Jangmi cupped his chin, leaning in. “I’ll see you after the party then,” she muttered near his ear before walking away.

Namjoons face looked ready to show his pity and apologetics but anger fueled Minnie like molten lava. It could’ve poured through her mouth and ears if she wasn’t taking a few breaths.

Minnie turned around and finally stomped away, sounds blocked in her ears and only her own heartbeat consuming her mind. She walked up the staircase, blatantly ignoring anyone who would try to approach her. Any slight comment would’ve been enough for her to explode. She needed to get away. Capture silence where she could to preserve her sanity.

Finding the nearest room, Minnie barged inside and slammed the door behind her. She pressed into her temples to ease some of her looming headache. The thickening smells of perfume, cologne, lies and messes. So many messes and yet still. . .still Minnie yearned for him. She hated that Jangmi could touch and hold him without worrying or caring.

Minnie gripped onto her arms as if attempting to comfort herself from the dreaded mix of deep fury and painful stinging in her chest. What was worse, her vulnerable state began to corrode through the layers of her skin, showing her off as open to people like Woosung who loved picking up broken pieces like they were prizes to be had. It only made her blood curdle more.

The door opened gently.

Minnie let out a sigh of frustration. “I don’t want to talk right now.”

“It looks like if you don’t, you’ll explode,” Namjoon’s voice echoed in her like freshwater streams and warm sunlight. “So maybe a few words.”

“This is your doing.” Minnie turned to face him, fisted hands at her sides. “You made out with her once and now she thinks she’s the First Lady, gallivanting around like she owns the place.”

“She’s in show business, it’s natural for her to be dramatic.” Namjoon gestured to the door, dark brows furrowed but his voice was still soft, even loving.

She hated it. She hated every minute of it. “It’s causing a scandal.”

“Everyone’s too drunk to really notice,” he said.

“Well, I noticed, it’s my job.”

“It’s not your job to protect my reputation.” Namjoon took a step forward.

“But if your reputation is ruined then it’s a scar on mine.”

“Is that the reason?” Namjoon moved close enough to tower over her.

“Yes, that’s the reason.” Minnie’s words began to grow reluctant as her heart pounded so loud that she was worried it may have echoed in the entire room.

“Are you sure?” Namjoon muttered low and intimately, leaning until their faces were a breath apart.

Minnie’s chest rose and fell. “I’m sure.”

“You don’t sound sure,” Namjoon whispered, hands still in his pockets and only his face hovering over her own. Testing her. Teasing her.

Just at the moment Minnie found home relishing in the closeness, she woke herself up and stepped back. “This doesn’t change anything.”

Namjoon straightened himself up and opened the door, calling for a guard. “Tell Kwon Jangmi to dismiss herself from the celebrations.”

Minnie’s heart jumped in shock. “Namjoon.”

“Inappropriate conduct.”

The guard nodded.

“Wait, stop,” Minnie called out. “You can’t do that, she’ll try to make a big spectacle out of it.”

“Her presence here makes you uncomfortable so I figured.”

“No, don’t send her away.” Minnie raised her hands in defense. “I’m not mad at her, I’m mad at you.”

Namjoon dismissed the guard and closed the door again, locking it this time. “I know you are. That’s why I told you to be angry with me.”

“You’re an idiot,” Minnie said, smashing open the dam and letting it flood. “You’re a big fucking fool. We had something nice and I cared about you, more than I’ve cared about anyone and you just find the prettier actress to get yourself off for a few minutes. I know you were single and were free to do what you wanted but I don’t want that.” She lifted her shoulders. “I don’t want to see you with someone else, I don’t—I want you to be with me.” Her eyes lowered to Namjoon’s shoes as the selfish statement poured out, leaving her exposed and raw.

Namjoon felt a burst of sweetness at the sound of those words ringing in his ear. The confirmation that he so desperately wanted to hear. He walked closer, breaking the distance and holding onto her cheeks like they were pieces of heaven in his hands. He pressed his lips onto hers, warm and loving.

Minnie’s racing heart began to flutter and sing from the kiss, relishing in his fingers moving down to her jawline and neck, ensuring her skin lingered with the memory of his touch. A smile formed on her lips absentmindedly as his kisses became patterned, small pecks as light as a feather before he met his eyes with hers.

“Say it again,” Namjoon said, still cradling her cheeks.

Minnie smiled. “It’s your turn now.”

Namjoon chuckled, nudging his nose against hers. “I want to be with you too.” He kissed her cheek. “All the time.” He kissed the other cheek. “Everyday.” Lips travelled down to her neck as he guided her towards the closest wall, pressing her against the surface. Hands explored the curve of her waist, gripping it tight before moving down to the back of her thigh, lifting her and wrapping her legs around his waist.

Minnie let out a little yelp before laughing breathlessly, reaching down to unzip his pants, the warmth and heft of his member rested free on her palm.

Namjoon bit down the sweet spot of her neck, letting blood rush to skin as his hips ground against her hand stroking his length. He used a hand to push aside her panties, the cloth peeling off the wetness.

Minnie positioned him at her sodden entrance and Namjoon pushed in, snug and full of delight. She let out a small whimper as the length of him filled her to the soft edges of her cervix. Minnie rested her forehead against his shoulder, as Namjoon carefully let her adjust to the feeling.

“You’re okay?” Namjoon asked.

Minnie nodded, cupping his jawline and smiling. “I’m okay.”

Namjoon started with slow thrusts, both to be careful but also to relish in what he may have shamefully imagined more times than he wished to admit. He gently brushed her hairline, tongue exploring her mouth as his thrusts grew deeper, groaning every time she clenched around him, pushing him to his high.

Minnie let out small breaths through her nose as Namjoon overwhelmed her in a kiss. She broke it for a moment as he became rhythmic, clothes rubbing against their skin until their skin felt raw and the heat between them clouding any sense of the world outside of their bubble.

A knock resounded on the door. “Sir, a few people are calling for you.” One of the guards spoke through the wood.

Minnie bit down her bottom lip to block out any noise.

Namjoon didn’t reply, brows scrunched and focused on their pleasure. Forehead pressed as he fucked into her with more desperation.

A whimper escaped from the back of her throat before she placed a hand over her mouth.

The knock repeated. “Sir. . .they’re being insistent.”

Namjoon groaned under his breath. “Tell them to wait.” The lace of frustration in his tone sent tingles in her lower belly, already filled to burst. He smiled down at her, pressing a kiss on the back of her hand before grinding into her, member pulsating and twitching as he rolled to the edge of his orgasm.

Minnie’s own climax ricocheted through her body like fireworks as he kept rubbing into her clit until her legs shook around his waist. His groans and moans vibrated through her body as she felt the warm liquid fill her to the brim. She let out a shaky breath, kissing his cheek.

Namjoon rested inside her as they began to catch their breaths, finding comfort and care in their embrace while chaos brewed outside. Finally, he placed Minnie gently back onto the floor before cleaning themselves up in the bathroom. Minnie’s legs wobbled as she walked for a moment which earned a chuckle from Namjoon.

“Sea legs?” Namjoon asked.

Minnie slapped his arm playfully. “Go and tend to your subjects.”

Namjoon smirked, giving her a final kiss as he returned to the prim and proper leader. “Yes, ma’am.” As he opened the door, their work faces formed back onto their flushed expressions naturally. And this time, Minnie welcomed it knowing behind that expression was someone that was only for her eyes to see.

masterlist

#namjoon #bts fanfic #bts fanfiction #bts smut #bts angst #bts imagines #namjoon fanfic #namjoon imagines #namjoon fanfiction #bts x oc #namjoon x oc

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fairyofsilence · 1 year

Text

RISING STAR | 1/7 | THAT’S THE INDUSTRY, BABY SERIES |

Pairing: Producer!Namjoon x Trainee!Reader

Warnings (there's important trigger warnings mentioned, read each one of them carefully and proceed with caution): +18, Yandere, grooming, age gap (reader is 19 while Namjoon is 31), cursing, extreme abuse of power, manipulation, reader has a bad relationship with her mother, self-deprecation, reader has a low self esteem, mentions of unhealthy diets, mentions of toxic beauty standards, both explicit and non explicit sexual scenes; oral sex (m and f reciving), fingering, spanking, protected sex, sex in the work place, loss of virginity, mentions of blood, slight dubcon (she agrees to have sex after he coaxes her into it), mentions of aftercare, mentions of sex, recording of sexual acts without a partner's knowledge, blackmail, forced relationships.

Summary: It's the opportunity of a lifetime, everything you have ever wished for has been presented to you on a silver platter, becoming the next rising star of the critically acclaimed producer Kim Namjoon was a dream come true.

Too bad you are to naive to confuse a nightmare for a blessing.

I don't agree nor condone any of the actions made by any of the characters throughout the story, I also do not belive that any of the members of BTS would act this way or have this type of behaviour, this story it's fiction and it's written with the sole purpose of entertainment.

Word count: 11.3 k

This is the first of seven parts for the That's the industry, baby series, you cand find my main masterlist here. The stories can be read as one shots, the stories just take place in the same universe.

Hello again! It’s been a while, believe me I know, and I also know I’ve been announcing this fic since practically a year now but get this: I’m a depressed college student who loves to procrastinate, but I shit you not tonight I said “fuck it” and finished this enitre fic in eight hours, this is extreamly unedited and I’m posting this at 6 a.m, I’m not even sure I’ll be able to edit this until June but until then please enjoy and let me know what you think! I created this series because I’ve always been shocked at the ammount of disgusting things the entertainment industry has try to hide from the general public, and this series will tackle most of that, withouth more introductions, here’s the first of them, enjoy!

EDITED ON 05/27/2023

You haven’t moved an inch since you’ve put your eyes on the board.

You’re trembling, you can feel the air starting to leave your lungs, but you don’t seem able to take a breath because you feel like if you so much as blink, the announcement will disappear from the board, and it all just be an illusion.

But it’s not an illusion, you’re actually looking at the announcement on the board right now, the letters are big, bright, and bold, and there’s no doubt that what you’re looking at now is your name next to the word “Congratulations.”

“Congratulations Y/N Y/L/N, you won!

You’ve been chosen as Rkive records new rising star.

For more details, check the inbox on your email in which you’ve been send the instructions on what to do next.”

All sound seemed to quiet down, you couldn’t hear a single thing except a striking white noise ringing on your ears, and although you can feel some of the trainees jumping around trying to congratulate you, you can’t seem to do anything right now, your body is paralyzed, your eyes fill up with tears and you feel as if your heart had gone all the way up to your throat.

You’ve won, you’re finally going to debut, Kim Namjoon had chosen you.

It feels surreal, you’ve been waiting for this moment, four years to be exact, and it has finally going to happen, your biggest dream was just a day away from becoming true, a small laugh leaves your mouth at the thought, you’ve made it, you finally made it happen.

Reality comes back to you in the form of a hug, you realize the person who’s hugging you is Soowon, one of the newest trainees who, after you got her out of trouble with the singing coach, decided to attach herself to you and proclaim the two of you as best friends, she seems more excited than you right now, jumping around while trying to not break the hug, somehow you manage to wrap your arms around her, giving her a weird side hug, but she doesn’t seem to mind, in fact, she seems even more excited after you returned the hug.

“You did it! I know you would win” She says after hugging me a little bit tighter “It was only a matter of time before this happened, you’ve been working so hard” You feel a tear rolling down your cheek after her words, you finally turn around to return the energy of the hug and while rubbing your back, she whispers onto your ear “I know you’ll be the biggest star of this company Y/N, I’ve known it since the day we met”

You allow yourself to feel the praise and hugs from your fellow trainees because you know that once you step a foot inside of your apartment, you know that your biggest obstacle from you reaching your dreams is waiting for you inside, so just for a few more hours, you let yourself be happy, because you know that when she finds out about the news you received today, a light argument is the best thing you can’t expect.

Your mother is already at your apartment by the time you got home, and that was the first weird thing you noticed.

The second was that she made dinner, your mother never makes dinner, she always works until late in the night and you’ve survived on rice and instant ramen because of that, but tonight she seems to gone all out, there’s even meat at the table for god sake, and that’s how you know there’s only two reasons behind this happening; she was either fired or she got a new, better paying job, and you’ll be very surprised if it ends up being the latter.

She has never been good at maintaining a job, and for someone who’s been poor her whole life, she doesn’t seem to understand that to maintain a job is to be quiet, the workers should never complain to their bosses, at least, that’s what you’ve learned during your time in the company.

She notices your presence after you stand in the entrance for a while, then again, it’s not hard to do so, your apartment is not big enough for you to go unnoticed anyway, she turns off the stove and walks up to you with a smile, greeting you excitedly.

“Hi sweetheart, sit down please, I’m just going to bring out some plates, okay?” You don’t say anything, but she doesn’t seem to mind the lack of response, turning away from you to grab two plates from the small kitchen cabinet while you set down your backpack and take a seat on the floor in front of the small table, your palms begin to sweat as you mentally prepare to tell your mother about the news, which you’re sure she won’t take kindly.

“How was your day? You usually come back earlier than this, I told you that this trainee stuff cannot interfere with school” And there she goes, you can even seat down in peace for five minutes before she starts listing all the stupid reasons why you should be a trainee, but today you won’t take any criticism from her, actually, today you’ll prove her just how wrong she’s been.

“It was great, I have good news actually” Your voice loses power for a bit, but you pull through it, your mother sits down and seems curious about the news for once.

“Yeah? What is it? You’re finally leaving that company for good? They’re the reason you got two years behind in school” Your eye twitches at her remark but you ignore her before dropping the bomb.

“No, it’s the opposite actually” Her eyebrows raise at that, and she looks at you expectantly before you say, “I’m signing my contract tomorrow, I’m going to debut soon.”

The silence that follows after your words seems to last an eternity.

Your mother puts her utensils down, she licks her lips and lets out a deep sigh after a few seconds, she doesn’t like this at all.

“I was expecting good news” Her words feel like a dagger piercing right through your heart, but you maintain your posture, you can’t let her, and her hurtful words get to you.

“This is good news mom, don’t you understand? I wasn’t sign to a small company, Bangtan signed me, Kim Namjoon chose me” Your mother makes eye contact, and it makes you falter for a second, she always knows how to bring you down when you’re finally going up.

“Who put those ideas on your head? That Kim Namjoon that you always talk about?” Before you can even talk back she cuts you off before adding “Sweetheart, I thought you were smarter than this, when man want something, they’ll say anything to get you” You hate when she does this, when she makes you feel small, making you think you’re stupid without even listening to what you have to say, you hate her.

“First of all, I’m meeting him for the first time tomorrow, so no mother, he hasn’t been putting any ideas on me, and also, why are you acting so shocked at this? I’ve been training for years, you know that it was bound to happen, I’ve been working so hard for this moment to come and the only thing you can say is something negative, can you just say ‘congratulations’ at least? This is something important to me, can you at least pretend that you’re happy for me?” Your voice breaks by the end and instead of listening to your concerns, your mother decides to do what she does best; get defensive after you call her out.

“Why do you always just assume the worst of me darling? I’m just expressing my concern as your mother, is it wrong to be worried about who my daughter is going to be spending so much time with?” Her tone just manages to push you over the edge every time, you don’t even realize you’re crying until a teardrop land on your lap, you’re quick to wipe your tears before she gets the satisfaction of knowing she can affect you so much, you make eye contact with her before responding.

“Why can you just be happy for me mom?” You’re tired of arguing, but as usual, she doesn’t notice how you feel.

"I'm just worried about you, darling. You know that the career you want is risky. What if they change their minds and leave you without warning? What if you get injured before you even have a chance to perform? And what if they decide you're not good-looking enough after a few years? Have you thought about what you'll do then?" The venomous words spill out of her mouth so effortlessly that you're taken aback. Even your mother seems surprised by what she just said, but she doesn't backtrack or apologize. She only looks at you with a guilty expression, her eyes betraying her harsh tone. You let out a bitter chuckle before responding.

“You know what mom? I don’t think you’re worried” you say, your eyes fixed on your hands in your lap before voicing the thoughts that have been on your mind for a long time “I think you’re jealous” The silence in the room was so prominent you could hear a pin drop “I know you were young when you had me and I’m sorry I screwed up your life, but your misery is not my fault, I have to live my own life and make my own path, and being an idol is the path that I chose, so I’ll let things clear for you, you either accept my choices without any type of criticism or I’ll have to leave this place” You stand up and before she can respond, you leave her with this; “although, after signing my contract, I might just leave either way” with that, you make your way to your shared bedroom, not having the courage to say anything after your fight.

Later that night, you noticed your mother quietly slipping into bed, assuming you were already asleep. However, you struggled to find peace, tossing and turning as your thoughts continued to plague you. Every time you tried to close your eyes; you could only see the look on your mother's face after your confrontation. The night stretched on endlessly, and despite your efforts to find rest, sleep eluded you. The weight of guilt lay heavy on your heart, and you knew that the rift between you and your mother had only grown wider. Your once-fragile relationship now seemed completely shattered. However, you were resolute in your decision to pursue your career and follow your dreams. While the thought of losing your mother was painful, the thought of losing this opportunity would have been even worse. With this assurance, you finally managed to drift off into unconsciousness, with the hope that tomorrow you’ll be able to forget about the tough time you went through tonight.

You don’t think you’ve ever been more nervous than you are right now.

You can feel the cold sweat forming on the crown of your forehead, your body feels like a quivering mass of jelly, the subtle trembles barely perceptible to anyone but you, a physical manifestation of your own nervousness, you’ll be biting your nails too if you could, but ever since receiving the most shocking news of your life you don’t think there’s anything left for you to bite off.

Today, if everything goes according to plan, you’ll become the newest artist under Rkive’s music records, the most prestigious record label in the entire country, owned by one of the most acclaimed producers of the decade, and your own personal God, Kim Namjoon.

As you step into Rkive's gleaming headquarters, the air is charged with an indescribable energy. You can practically feel the prestige of the company pulsing through the walls, and the faint sound of music drifting through the halls is enough to send shivers down your spine. You check your phone for the last time just to make sure you got everything down, the instructions they gave you were simple, but your anxiety makes you feel hyperaware of everything, taking a deep breath while closing your eyes you try to calm yourself down, chill the hell out, you say to yourself, you’re going to weird him out, granted, Namjoon might not be weirded out by you but he’ll definitely would think you aren’t ready for this and that’s not the case at all, you've worked so hard for this opportunity, and you won't let your anxiety get in the way now that you're so close to being signed, especially by someone like Namjoon, and given his reputation, being signed by him would be the ultimate validation of your hard work and talent.

Kim Namjoon isn’t an easy man to impress, because not only has he worked with the biggest stars in the industry, but also, any music related award you can think of; he most likely already has won at least two of those, and if his experience wasn’t intimidating enough, his unwavering commitment to achieving perfection on every aspect of his music is both impressive and intimidating, commanding respect from those around him, and you definitely respect him, in fact, there's no one in the world that you look up more than Namjoon, you want to impress him, make him remember who you are, make him wish he had discover you sooner, you want your idol to want you as desperately as you want him, and you won’t leave this building until you accomplish that.

As you approach the front desk, the receptionist glances up at you with raised eyebrows, silently urging you to speak. Though her harsh glare could be intimidating, you're determined to stay focused on the reason you’re here. You won't let her nasty glare affect you, not even a little bit.

You take a deep breath and greet her politely, "Hi." Even though she might be looking down on you, you refuse to be rude. You state your business clearly, "My name is Y/N, and I have a meeting with Mr. Kim Namjoon today in his studio."

At the mention of his name, her glare softens up a bit, but still looks annoyed, with a monotone voice, she says “Wait for just a second please” before reaching for the telephone on the desk, it’s only a matter of seconds after calling when the other line picks up, they exchange a couple of words that you can’t decipher and after she hangs up, she looks back at you with a fake smile before standing up, she speaks with a more cheerful tone this time “Mr. Kim’s assistant is coming down to escort you to his studio, please wait for a moment, you’re welcome to sit down in the lounge as you wait” the receptionist points at the small waiting lounge that’s right in front of the elevators, you whisper her a small thank you before making your way over there, sitting down on the individual sleek black leather couch, impatiently waiting for his assistant to come out of one the elevators.

After sitting there for just a few minutes, you begin to feel very out of place, everything in this building looks, feels, and even smells expensive, and somehow here you are, a nameless trainee with second hand bought clothes, with the smallest, cheapest purse which you keep holding on tightly into your lap, shrinking into yourself more each minute that passes by.

You’ve never had a high self-esteem, but it seems the small bit of confidence you’ve had has disappear after knowing that you’ve won the contest and you will be meeting Kim Namjoon in person, you’re scared, your mind tormenting you with all the “what if?” questions, what if he decides you’re not actually the one?, what if he thinks you’re not good enough?

What if?, what if?, what if?

Before you can think about any more ways on how this whole thing could go wrong, the small ding sound of the elevator pulls you away from your thoughts, you’re quick to stand up and soon after that, a short, petite woman steps out of the elevator, her eyes find you quickly after coming out and a small smile appears on her face as she approaches you, clutching a clipboard on her hands.

“Hi!” Her cheerful tone catches you by surprise, but you smile nevertheless “You’re Y/N right?” you answer her with a small nod, which she ends up mimicking before talking again “I’m Sohee, I’m Namjoon’s assistant, do you have everything we asked you to bring?” you respond with a small ‘yes’ before making a gesture towards your bag, she nods again before signaling the elevator “Follow me please, I’ll take you to his studio so you can talk for a bit before signing” You’re quick to follow her request by stepping into the elevator next to her, she presses the button of the 14th floor and you both wait until the doors close and the elevator starts running, Sohee turns to you and smiles before asking “Nervous?” You let out a small laugh before answering.

“Very, I can’t believe this is happening right now” Your palms begin to sweat, and she laughs as you wipe your hands on your pants, you decide to redirect the conversation towards her “So, how long have you’ve been working for him?” Sohee’s eyes widen up a little bit after your question, she seems genuinely surprised by your interest, but she answers either way.

“Three years next month, my best friend got me this job actually, it’s sort of a long story but to keep things short, she works with Kim Taehyung, he told her about Namjoon needing an assistant and that’s how I landed here” She speaks very fast and you have a hard time catching what she’s saying, but before you can respond, the elevator comes to a stop and the doors begin to open, you’re welcomed by a similar lounge than the one in the reception, only that this lounge had a large plaque that read “Rkive Music Records” in a beautiful gold color, the letters engraved in a pitch-black tone, if you though the lobby looked expensive, Namjoon’s floor was a whole different level.

“Follow me please, I’ll lead you to his office, he’s already waiting for you” Her words make you shiver, you can’t believe it’s finally happening, the excitement is making your legs shake and you can barely breath as you make your way through the long hallway, passing the small reception desk and several doors of what you can assume are different studios.

Sohee comes an abrupt stop, causing you to hold your breath until she turns to look at you and with a bright smile, she gestures the door right in front of you, which holds a sleek, platinum plaque with Kim Namjoon’s name engraved on it, you gulp and letting out a deep sigh, she says “This is it, good luck!” She holds up two thumbs and you let a nervous laugh at her antics, she leaves quietly and just like that you’re left on your own, with a shaky hand, you reach to know on the studio’s door, you only have to wait for a couple of seconds, but you’re anxiety is making it seem like time going slower than it actually is, you’re beginning to lose your mind until finally, the door handle turns and you’re face to face with the person you’ve never thought you’ll ever see this close, Kim Namjoon stands right in front of you, with a big smile on his face, his dimples only making him look even more attractive, his dark hair is pulled back and he’s wearing all black, he looks hot and he knows it, that’s what makes him more dangerous, it seems like an eternity before he opens his mouth and says, “Well hello there” His deep voice makes you even more nervous, “You must be Y/N, please, come in” Granted, he chose you as the winner of the contest, he must know your name, it’s logical, but your inner fan cannot believe your idol just said your name so casually, you compose yourself before you answer him with an enthusiastic nod, not forgetting to bow before anything, Namjoon let’s out a chuckle before leaning against the wall to make room for you to walk in, you’re quick to follow, entering his studio while a timid “Thank you” leaves your lips.

The first thing you notice about his studio is how big it is, you had expected nothing less than this, giving that he’s the owner of this record label, but it still doesn’t make it any less shocking, you almost feel ashamed of the fact that his studio seems to be bigger than your shared apartment with your mom. When you first walk in, there’s a small hallway that leads you to the main part of his studio, but instead of a wall, there’s a huge glass to showcase his biggest accomplishments, his awards are perfectly lined up in multiple shelves and there’s some of his biggest songs displayed with as either platinum or gold records, some of the movies he has produced the soundtrack of are also displayed by a frame with the poster on it, you don’t realize you stopped following him until he reached out to tap you in the shoulder, you turned to look at him and you found him with a teasing smirk on his face, you give him a shy smile in return.

“Sorry, I was just admiring everything" Your face feels hot, and he lets out a deep chuckle that makes you shiver, his presence alone makes you nervous, and having him smiling and talking to you with that deep voice of his was making you crazy.

"Don't worry, it’s a bit overwhelming isn’t it?” You nod and Namjoon imitates the action “Hobi says that all the time when he comes by” The casual mention of such a huge star makes your eyes go wide and it doesn’t go unnoticed by him, he smiles widely and you could swear he mouthed the word cute, but you couldn’t tell if you were just imagining things or if it actually happened, so you only smiled and continued to follow him through the hallway.

And if you thought the hallway was something, you weren’t prepared to see his actual studio, in fact, you couldn’t even process your surroundings because Namjoon put his right hand on your lower back, a weird feeling washed all over you but noticing he was guiding you to a small sofa, you turned to look at him and he only gestured with his other hand for you to take a seat, suddenly, your nerves made you feel silly, of course he was just being nice, you were just paranoid.

“Please take a seat and get comfortable, it’s going to be a pretty long session” Namjoon chuckles after that and you let out an awkward laugh.

His studio was so intimidating, you couldn't even sit down in peace without thinking you'll probably break something that cost more than your apartment, sensing your nervousness, Namjoon puts his hand on your shoulders while giving you a reassuring smile.

"Don’t panic, everything's going well" You give him a small nod, and he turns his back after you finally seem to catch your breath, walking towards what seems to be a mini fridge "Would you like something to drink? I have water, some energy drinks" Namjoon pauses and looks up at you with a teasing smile, his dimples full on display, this man would be the death for you "I have beer as well, if you can handle it" He raises an eyebrow and it makes you giggle, Namjoon seems to love your reaction, but he waits patiently for your answer, you compose yourself and finally give him an answer.

“Water is fine, thank you” Your voice is barely audible, but you don’t stutter so you consider that a win, Namjoon nods and pulls two water bottles from the mini fridge, and makes his way to his chair after closing the door.

“So, let’s start talking business, shall we?” Namjoon says after handing you the bottle and sitting down in a chair, the only thing between you and him being the small coffee table where a leather folder lays over it, as well as two fancy looking pens.

“Okay” You agree, and Namjoon’s aura seems to take a shift, exuding power and knowledge, two things you very much lack off.

“So, I’m assuming that you read the contract when you entered the contest, right?” His gaze is so intense it makes you grip on the edge of your skirt tightly, responding with a nod because you know that your voice will give out if you try to speak right now, Namjoon takes your answer before continuing, “Basically, the contract says that we’re making an EP, you will be making all types of promotions and you will be making a music video for the main track, I have some songs ready and while I personally think the artist should have an input on the songs, we were given only two months to deliver a full EP, so as soon as you sign we’ll begin to work, okay?” Your enthusiastic nod makes him smile “Perfect, do you have any concerns about the contract? You should ask questions before signing, you know?” That makes you genuinely laugh, and Namjoon seems happy he has eased your mood a little.

“The contract is only for an EP, right?” Your tone is a bit steadier and Namjoon nods before explaining.

“Yes, but I’m sure your EP will be a success, which means a more permanent contract” Namjoon can sense you tensing up at the probability, so he surprisingly, reaches out to squeeze your thigh before adding “Someone as talented as you shouldn’t be worried about that, your debut will go better than you expect, I’ll make sure of that” His words feel like a soft blanket, providing comfort to your worries, the current position of his hand makes you nervous, but you pay it no mind as you nod and smile, Namjoon is just being friendly, there’s nothing to be scared about.

“So, what about management? Who is going to be my manager?” Your question makes him smile and you’re shocked to the core when his index finger rises up to point at himself, there’s no fucking way “But Mr. Kim, you’ve never- “Namjoon cuts you off before you can finish your sentence.

“There’s a first time for everything, right?” You’re speechless and Namjoon takes your silence as a cue to keep talking, “You know, when I saw your audition, I was starstruck, I even got mad at the management because how in the fuck have they kept you training for so long? Such a talented person deserves to be seen by the whole world” His dragon shaped eyes look directly into yours and you’re left breathless by his praise, hearing those words coming from his mouth seemed unreal “I wanted to be in control of your debut because while this people might have underappreciated your talent, I saw your potential right from the start” His praise makes you feel dizzy and you can’t believe what’s happening right now, you can barely register him reaching out for one of the pens at the table, putting in one of your palms before he asks “What do you think then, would you give me the chance to make you the star you’re meant to be?” You almost feel hypnotized, slowly nodding your head while gripping the expensive pen on your hand, Namjoon’s smile almost seems to shine as he hands you the leather folder containing the contract, you read quickly through the pages before reaching the final one, where your name is beneath a long line, waiting only for your signature, because Namjoon had already signed this.

With a trembling hand and with a deep sigh, you put the folder on your lap and click on the small button on the pen, you only pause for a second before signing the contract, you’re still in the clouds even after looking at your signature on the strikingly white paper, you lift your head only to see Namjoon looking at you with mischief written all over his face, his eyes seem to hide something you can’t quite decipher, but he soon opens his mind to let you know exactly what his thoughts are.

“Don’t worry darling, I’ll make sure you become the biggest star this company has ever seen.”

You knew that becoming an artist was never going to be an easy job, but the amount of times you’ve stayed working late this week alone was ridiculous, turns out, the rumors about Namjoon’s work ethic were true, his perfectionism was driving you insane, the amount of times he had asked you to start a song all over again because he wasn’t a ‘100% sure’ if he like the way you sounded almost made you bang your head against the recording booth wall, but you didn’t, you stayed put, only smiling and responding by putting your thumbs up until he gave you the sign to get ready to start recording again. You sang until your throat became sore, you danced until you stopped feeling your limbs, the fatigue was quickly catching up to you and everything started to pile up fast, you needed to memorize all lyrics and choreographies in less than two months without mentioning all the physical changes the agency was demanding from you, your mother’s words ringing loudly through your ears every time you were reminded to not eat until you were done for the day and even then, your single daily meal would barely make you feel full, you had to control your hunger by eating a small bowl of ice cubes and drinking water.

You were in the verge of a breakdown when one night after your first month of working together, Namjoon had finally told you that you did great and that you could come out to join him while he worked, you were so caught up with singing your heart out that you didn’t realized that Namjoon had ordered dinner for the two of you, you thanked him by giving him a small bow and a tired smile, he only gestured her to sit down and to eat, and you did exactly that, pulling your chair closer to him before sitting down, to which you could see from the corner of your eye that he smirk at your actions.

“I didn’t ask for what you liked but I supposed that you can’t go wrong with McDonald’s” Namjoon said while putting his earphones down to his neck and grabbing his own dinner, you made a hand gesture to let him know that it’s fine, McDonald’s right now seems like heaven to your starved stomach.

“It’s okay, you shouldn't worry about me, I would’ve eaten something at home” You dig into some fries and Namjoon sends you a look you can’t quite comprehend.

“Nonsense, how can I not worry about you? Don’t think I haven’t noticed about the stupid diets the company is forcing you to do” You freeze at his words and Namjoon lets out a deep sigh before adding “You should’ve told me before; I would’ve done something earlier” His concern makes you feel guilty, so you try to make excuses to make him (and yourself) feel better.

“They’re just making sure I look good before the filming starts, I have to look my best before debuting, you know that” You can’t even look at him while you’re talking, you don’t know if it’s your shitty diet or Namjoon’s words that make you lose your appetite, but he wasn’t content with your answer, pulling his chair even closer to you, forcing you to finally look at him in the eye for the first time tonight.

“It’s bullshit, you already look perfect to me” His words make your heart jump “And besides, if you don’t eat well, you won’t have enough energy for the live performances, so you better start eating good after today, you got that?” You haven’t even noticed than Namjoon’s hand has made it’s way to one of your thighs, whilst your knees were faintly brushing against his, his sudden closeness catches you off guard, but you make no effort to separate yourself from him.

During this past month, you have started to catch up on some patterns, patterns that make you feel somewhat uneasy, because while you know it might just be your imagination, you can’t help but to realize how isolated you’ve become after you started to work on your EP, you haven’t spoken to any of your fellow trainee friends because, according to Namjoon, they might be jealous of your upcoming debut so you must focus on yourself right now, which is a fancier way of telling you to not speak to them, besides that, the only interactions you get outside of the building is with your mother, which, after your fight, your relationship with her now consisted on greeting each other at night and leaving the apartment before either one of you woke up, and while you talked with Sohee every now and then, the only constant human interaction you had for the past month has been with Namjoon, and while your silly crush on him remains very much alive, you can’t help but to feel like something isn’t right, his lingering touches make you jump every time it happens, and some of the things he says makes you feel uncomfortable, but you’ve blame it all on your nerves, the deadlines are approaching too fast and Namjoon is only trying to make things easier for you, it makes you feel ungrateful to doubt on him like this but you can’t help it, he’s a man with too much power and you think it’s only natural for someone in your position to feel like this.

You brush off your inner dilemma when Namjoon asks you if you want to listen to your last recording, passing you a pair of headphones and waiting until you’ve put them before playing it, you’re soon welcomed by the perfect instrumental before hearing your voice through the headphones, no matter how many times you’ve done this by now, listening to your own voice feels just as exciting as the first time, the unfinished song quickly comes to an end, you and Namjoon continue to talk about minor details until you pause the conversation to drink some water, your focus on the large screen on Namjoon’s mixing table makes you unaware of the intense stare he has set on you.

“Do you have a boyfriend?” Namjoon’s unexpected question takes you by surprise, and stare at the screen in shock before you can answer him.

“What?” You let an awkward laugh out as you look in his direction, his expression being unable to read. Your brain still can't comprehend a reasoning behind his question or why he would be interested in such meaningless matters, but he was your boss now, and you didn’t want to make him mad at you just because you felt a little uncomfortable by his question, so you responded “I don’t have a boyfriend, I never had one actually” You’re anxious and that makes you share more information than what he has asked for, however, he seems to take this information as if it was exactly what he needed to know, he leans back in his chair and gives you a teasing smile after your confession.

“Now that I can’t believe it” You're about to protest in your defense but he finishes what he wanted to say before you get a single word out of your mouth “A beautiful girl like you has never had a boyfriend? That just can’t be true” His smile grows bigger as you get more flustered by his compliments, his hand reaches out towards your hair and tucks the loose strand that covered one side of your face, caressing your cheek with his long fingers as you lean into his touch, welcoming his soft touch after longing for it for what felt like an eternity "I'm convinced now that boys your age simply cannot see a real women even if it’s right in front of them” Namjoon seems to thrive on the effect he has caused in you after you let out a shy giggle at his words, how does he always know what’s the right thing to say?, you feel so giddy inside you feel like you might burst with how happy you felt after hearing those words come out of his lips, did Namjoon really see you as a woman? You simply cannot believe it, a man like him would never set his sight on such a meaningless, young, and stupid girl like you, no, a man like him needed a mature and sophisticated woman who matched his good looks and graceful nature.

“You don’t mean that” Your lack of confidence makes you take distance from him by standing up and trying to walk away from him, but Namjoon seemed to have different plans.

You gasped loudly as he spined you around before picking you up so easily and placing you over his mixing table, it was a little uncomfortable giving that you were sitting over so many buttons, but right now that didn't bother you in the slightest, especially now that his mouth has quickly found it’s way on yours, the two of you sharing a such a messy kiss that will make you feel ashamed if you were on your right mind, he bites your bottom lip and you let out a small whimper at his actions, Namjoon separates from you only after your lips are red and swollen, you’re too far gone to notice him parting your legs open with his large hands, looking at you dead in the eyes as he slowly sinks down on his knees and you could help but to stare at him in shock.

Kim Namjoon, the man who’s technically your boss and the man you have fantasized about for years, is getting down on his knees to pleasure you.

"Namjoon, what are you.." He raises a single finger motioning you to be quiet and you quickly follow his command, he keeps looking at you as his hands make their way to your ass, gripping it tightly as you let out a soundless gasp.

"Don't you want it baby? I see the way you look at me" His deep voice lures you, his experience showing through on how easily he got you longing for more, his eyes leave yours as he starts kissing up from your knee to your inner thigh, giving you goosebumps all over "Your pretty eyes light up whenever you see me, it drives me crazy, I can’t hold myself back any longer" He's the one that’s driving you crazy, touching you in ways no one ever has, making you feel desired, willing to give you all the pleasure you can take "Let me do this beautiful, let me taste that pretty pussy of yours" His crude words make you moan as his mouth gets closer to your cunt, you can't this anymore, you need him, as his hands start to grip your underwear, you softly grip his hair and make him look up at you, the sight of him is sinful, messy hair, his dragon eyes filled with lust and his beautiful lips are swollen after the kiss you shared, you need him so bad, you cradled his face in your hands as you speak.

"I just-I've never" You're so desperate for him you can't even form a proper sentence, he chuckles darkly and starts to pull at your underwear, the action making you even more anxious, and without thinking straight, you spit out the truth behind your nervousness "I'm a virgin" His antics stop and his eyes gleam with mischief, although he stopped his movements, his hands didn't move from their position.

"Do you want me to stop then? I would understand if you wanted to, but…" He takes a deep breath while he buries his face onto your inner thigh, you run your fingers through his hair before he speaks again "I really want to eat you out" Namjoon's word send a wave of shivers down your spine and while you’re scared shitless, you don't really feel like it's the right decision to deny a men like him the opportunity to pleasure a little nobody like yourself.

"I want that too" You whisper loud enough for him to hear and the dimples that appeared after you said that made you think that it was completely worth it to ignore your fears.

“I’ll be taking this off then” Namjoon’s deep voice gives you goosebumps as he pulls down your underwear, slowly dragging them down your legs until they hit your ankles, taking them off completely after that.

You’re shaking and he hasn’t even done anything yet.

His hands continue to brush up and down your hips, before making its way to the back of your thighs, gripping them tightly, opening your legs just a tiny bit more before starting to kiss on your inner thighs, your hands instantly reaching out to his hair, gripping it tightly at the roots, Namjoon lets out a deep groan that makes you shiver, his touch becomes rougher after your antics, bruising the inside of your thighs as his tongue lapped on your clit, you couldn’t recognize the sound that came out of your mouth, you’re moans becoming louder as his lips latch onto your clit, you can feel his fingers starting to tease your entrance, collecting your slick before pushing a single finger inside, he continues to make out with your cunt before easing a second finger inside you, and your brain stops working as soon as he easily finds your sensitive spot, pushing his fingers in and out quickly, making your eyes closing harshly and your thighs trap him as you let out a scream before coming on his tongue, your legs shaking as he greedily laps your orgasm, he doesn’t stop until you whimper in pain and pull at his hair trying to separate his mouth from you, Namjoon looks sinful with his lips glistening with your slick, you can’t help but moan as you look at him, his hands make their way to your neck and he harshly pulls you into a kiss, it’s so messy and you’re loving it, your small hands caress his back and after a while Namjoon ends the kiss while brushing your hair with his fingers, looking into your eyes before smiling.

“You’re such a good girl baby, cumming into my tongue like that” His words make you blush, you’re face gets warmer and he laughs at your reaction “Don’t be shy now baby, not after you screamed my name like that” You hide your face into his chest from the embarrassment, and Namjoon continues to laugh as he embraces you in a tight hug.

This only last for a couple of minutes before he turns his head towards you, his mouth being dangerously close to your ear before whispering; “You know, good girls also return the favor” His words make you gulp and you know that it’s only fair what he’s asking for, hell, if it was any other man, he probably would’ve expected you to get on your knees without giving anything in return, and besides, you’re truly wondering how does Kim Namjoon taste like.

“I’ve never done it before” The deep groan that leaves his lips makes you tremble; he gives you a small kiss before smiling down at you.

“Don’t worry darling, I’ll be guiding you ok?” You nod before standing up while holding hands with him, Namjoon takes a step back before sitting down on his chair and the look on his face makes your legs feel like jelly, with a low, deep voice, he commands “Get on your knees for me baby.”

Taking a step forward so your body fits inside his open legs, you slowly sink down onto your knees, Namjoon lazily motions at his crotch before saying “Go on then, pull my cock out.”

Your nerves make your hands shake as you reach for his belt, unbuckling him with minimal effort was well as unbuttoning his pants with ease, Namjoon seems desperate with the way he’s helping you by dragging his pants mid down his thighs, his hard cock hitting his lower stomach, making your mouth water at the sinful sight, Namjoon smiles at your reaction “Take it with your hands baby, c’mon” your small hand reaches out to touch him and Namjoon lets out a hiss before adding; “Suck on my tip baby”.

Gradually, with Namjoon’s help you soon started to set a slow peace, making him lose his mind at the sight.

Your pretty young self on your knees, mouth full of his cock, gagging all over him making him go feral, he doesn't know why he's losing his mind this bad, truthfully, this isn't the best blowjob he's ever had, but it's the fact that it's your first time doing this, making him the only men who's ever gotten to see you like this makes his hips buckle into your mouth making you gag even louder, and he can't help but to let out a deep groan while gripping your hair even tighter. He must completely ruin you now, he needs to mark you so that every man knows who’s doing this to you, that you did everything you could to please him and him only, that you belong to him, forever.

Your lazy blowjob only last for a couple more minutes before Namjoon decides he’s had enough, with a single pull of your hair, he forces you to separate your mouth from his cock, a trail of saliva connecting you to his tip, Namjoon has never seen something so hot in his life.

You look up to him expectantly, and you can only let a small yelp after his strong arms push you up until your standing onto your shaky legs.

He roughly bends you over his mixing table, his equipment making you feel slightly uncomfortable giving the position he had chosen but you stay put, not wanting to disappoint him, he coos at you for being so obedient and quietly apologizes is he has hurt you, you appreciate his concern and decide to wiggle your hips at him in anticipation, Namjoon laughs and spanks your ass, making you squeal and jump at the unexpected action, you feel him leaving his position behind you, you try to look for him without leaving the position he has put you in and you find him looking through one of his drawers, he's probably looking for a condom, you thought, and your suspicions turn to be correct, the platinum package shining under his studio lights, you can feel the anticipation running through your veins, you're about to have sex for the first time with none other than Kim Namjoon, you were one lucky bitch.

While you feel excited, you're also anxious, what if he's not satisfied with what you have to offer? How can you compete with the types of women that have been like this with him? What if you're not enough for him?

You're panicking and Namjoon only notices after taking a condom out of the box, he walks up at you and quickly wraps his arms around your waist and begins to shush you after your breathing starts to rapidly increase.

"Relax baby, I'm not doing anything you don't want me to" He whispers into your hair and then gives you several pecks, his actions relaxing you only briefly before you start panicking again.

"I just… What if you don't like me afterwards?" You whisper pitifully while a single tear rolls down your cheek, Namjoon holds you even tighter after that.

"Oh baby, I feel like it's the opposite" His arms lift you enough so that he can kiss your cheek, helping you clear your negative headspace for a bit "I don't think having you just once it's going to be enough for me" You turn your head to look at him just to find him already staring at you, with one look you could tell that he means what he said, and that it's what makes you give in, you nod your head a couple of times and bend over the mixing table again, taking a deep breath and clutching at the border of his keyboard, you gain the courage to ask for what you want.

"Take me Namjoon, I want to be yours" You try to sound as sensual as you can but you don't think it worked giving how much your voice was trembling, but Namjoon savored each word that you just said, silly girl, of course you'll do anything to please him, and now that he knows he's going to be the first man to claim you, he's sure now that he won't let any other man taint you the same way he's going to.

Coating his fingers with the remains of your previous orgasm, he starts by stretching you by inserting a single finger inside, your walls almost instantly gripping his finger tight as you let out a loud moan, look at yourself, being such a good whore for him, he's going to reward you for being so good for him but right now the only thing on his mind is fucking you, so he quickly sets up his peace and starts to finger you, adding another finger inside and having his palm rub directly onto your clit, knowing that with your inexperience, this would probably be enough for you to cum once more.

You couldn't even try to hold in your screams, everything felt like it was too much but also felt like it wasn't enough, you couldn't understand if you needed him to stop or to go even faster, his long fingers pumping into you and reaching all the right places, making you moan and close your eyes in pleasure, at this point you didn't even know your own name, the only thing you knew is that when he plugged a third finger inside of you, you were not going to last any longer.

"Oh god! Namjoon, please-I, please" You couldn't even form a sentence, you wanted to tell him how desperate you were to cum, yet words came out of your mouth like a bunch of gibberish, you reach out to grip his arm and Namjoon was thrilled watching you struggle, the effect he has on you it's almost comical to him.

"It's alright baby, I know what you're trying to say," His other hand reaches out to roughly grab onto your breast and you're right there, needing that extra push to finally let go, and his next words are the push that make you climax "Cum on my fingers like the good girl I know you are".

You felt like your soul left your body, if the first orgasm felt good, this one was heavenly, waves of pleasure rolling through your body in ways you couldn't describe, Namjoon stops his ministration but doesn't pull his fingers out, relishing how your release is coating his fingers as you're panting for air, he delivers a series of kisses into the back of your neck and lets you take several breaths before letting go of your body for a brief moment, you're about to ask him why he's pulling away but then you hear the sound of his pants drop into the floor, he rubs your lower back as he reaches for the condom, you look over your shoulder to find him ripping the package open and when noticing you having your eyes on him, he smirks as he rolls up the condom onto his length, you gulp as you're reminded that everything about Namjoon is huge, he doesn't take his eyes off of you as he finally positions himself behind you and rubs your hips as a form of reassurance, you smile at him and try to lift your hips a bit more, slightly rubbing your cunt against his cock, Namjoon hisses and spanks your ass after that, you let out whimper and his hands grip onto your hips.

"Dirty girl, I'm trying to be nice to you and here you are, rubbing yourself all over me” His hand rubs your ass as he drags his cock up and down your opening, teasing you as he barely pushes in before backing out, repeating the action until he finally pushes in, filling you to the hilt, you whimper at the unfamiliar feeling and Namjoon shushes you at the sound “Sorry baby, does it hurt too much?” His voice flatters and you think he’s also having a tough time by containing himself like this, his struggle making you feel better.

“Doesn’t hurt, just feels weird” You weren’t lying, while Namjoon was on the bigger side, you were also wet enough and stretched for him, you only needed a couple of minutes before saying “You can move now.”

It only took him a moment before grabbing your hips tightly and started to rapidly thrust into you, his actions making you grip the table for dear life as his movements quickly became all too much, with each snap of his hips, your body sunk into too a much deeper pleasure, your breast starting to bounce at the same time his hips slammed into your ass, you couldn’t control the screams that left your mouth with all the pleasure you were experiencing now.

“Namjoon, fuck-baby” You don’t even understand what you’re saying, especially as Namjoon’s hands leave your hips as one of them reaches out for your throat and the other one reaches out for your clit, his fingers making fast circular motions that make you grip on his wrist, you have no force left to stop him from overstimulating you, you’re forced to take everything he gives you.

“It’s alright my love, cum for me, cum on my cock like the dirty slut you are” His degrading words only make you wetter, your legs shake and your body spams uncontrollably as you cum, your tight walls making it impossible to Namjoon to hold his own orgasm in, he comes hard clutches you tightly into his arms, slowly thrusting into you until his cock turns soft, only then he pulls out from you.

He looks down only to be greeted by the sight of your wet cunt, both of your thighs covered in a deep crimson shade, Namjoon chuckles darkly at this, he takes out the condom and discards it into the trash can before taking you in his arms, bringing you to lay down on his large dark sofa with him, you’re too far gone to notice his sinister smile as he looks into the top right corner of his studio, where the faint sight of a red blinking dot can be seen only for those who look for it, and Namjoon knew exactly where to look.

He was after all, the person that set it right there.

The first time you stepped into the Bangtan building, you expected to be stared at, nobody knew who you were and being a stranger to them you couldn’t expect them to not be curious about you, plus, the stares started decreasing after they found out who you were and why you were there all of the sudden, but right now, the back of your head was burning with the amount of people looking shamelessly at you, and it wasn’t just the fact they were all staring, it was the fact that their looks were full of hatred, they were looking down at you and you don’t have a single clue of why would they do that, you’ve never been mean to any of the staff, you start to overthink in the middle of the hallway before you realize the reason why they could be staring, shit, do they know what happened last night between you and Namjoon? No, you quickly say to yourself, that’s impossible, no one else was in the floor when you and Namjoon got out of the studio until late hours of the night, he took you to his house, where you repeated what you did in his studio all over again in the late night, and in the early morning as well, but there still isn’t an explanation on why everyone had suddenly turned on you like this.

For the last month, walking into Namjoon’s studio always felt like you were coming into the place you belonged, a safe space where you could be free and be yourself around him, but today, it felt like you were walking into your death sentence, you didn’t want to believe everyone found out because of last night, that couldn’t be true, right? Maybe Namjoon told Sohee that you were together now, and she probably spread the word around the label, right? Namjoon would never betray your trust like this, right?

Wrong.

You don’t find Namjoon in his studio, instead, you find a laptop on top of his mixing table, the screen is turned off but the sound it’s making and the turn on button being lit up tells you that it’s on, you take a seat in your usual chair but the sticky note over the screen makes you want to snoop in a little bit.

“Here you go Hyung, and don’t worry about anything, it looks and sounds amazing ;)” What could it be? Namjoon didn’t say anything about working on anything else besides your EP, and he also said he wasn’t compromised with any projects right now, so you doubted this was about work, what could this be?, the curiosity got the best of you, so you move your fingers around the touchpad until the screen lit up.

You didn’t want to look into his stuff without permission, but you were so curious about what this could be. The screen showed a video player with no thumb nail on it, so you pressed play and waited for the video to show.

How badly you wish you didn’t do it.

The first thing you hear is a moan, your moan, it’s loud and it’s filthy, your eyes fill with tears as you realize what’s going on.

It’s a video from last night, and not only does the video show everything that happened last night, but your face is also very visible, the quality doesn’t let it up to speculation.

Namjoon recorded you having sex with him, and he made sure your face was visible on the entire video.

You’re too horrified watching the video play to notice the presence of that man behind you, you only notice after him getting close enough to catch his shadow onto the screen.

“Namjoon, what is this?” You could barely speak, air seemed to abandon your lungs after what you just watched, the most vulnerable and intimate moment in your life, captured on video like it meant nothing. You turn around to face him while Namjoon keeps a neutral expression despite your distress, the man you’ve come to know, and love was nowhere to be found, in his place was this mean and coldhearted man who doesn’t seem to realize how much he’s hurting you.

“What do you mean darling?” You don’t even realize you’re standing up and he’s in front of you now, his tone being so condescending that it makes you feel disgusted, he traps you into his arms and forced you to look at him in the eyes by harshly gripping your chin up, his mocking smirk breaking your heart when you realize that he doesn’t want to comfort you like he has done so many times before, right now, Namjoon is making fun of you “Don’t you like it? Because personally I loved it, it really captured how well you took me last night, how you were a good little slut just for me” A heart wrenching sob left your mouth and Namjoon tsk at you while shaking his head, his evil smirk doesn’t leave his face for a second “What’s the matter baby? You don’t like me calling you a slut? You didn’t seem to mind that nickname last night” He has the audacity to laugh at you and instinctively you begin to weakly try to break free from his hold, tears streaming down your face.

“How could you do this to me?! Fuck you!” Each time you try to get out of Namjoon’s tight hold and run as far as you could from him, his grip only became tighter, so tight that it started to hurt, you let out a pained whimper, but Namjoon didn’t seem to care at all, gripping your chin even harsher this time.

“And where do you think you’re going baby, huh?” You can’t stand his fucking tone anymore, you need to get out of here, now.

“You won’t get away with this, I’m going to tell everyone what you did!” You try to stay firm, but every time Namjoon laughs you seem to get smaller and smaller, his mocking tone making you feel dumb.

“Yeah baby? What exactly are you going to say?” He spins you so that you’re facing his laptop and keeps a tight grip on your waist with one hand as he presses play once more with his other hand, the lewd sounds from last night echoing his studio, making a new set of tears appear into your eyes, you closed your eyes while shaking your head, Namjoon grips you by the hair while forcing you to watch the awful video, you whimper as you are forced to relive what you thought was an intimate moment and you’re horrified realizing it’s anything but that. “You look pretty willing to me, in fact, if we go back to it you can even hear you begging for me” Another sob leaves your lips and Namjoon kisses your cheek after hearing your distress “Aw, don’t cry sweetheart, it’s not like you think, this wasn’t meant to hurt you” He tries to wipe your tears off but you swat his hand before it comes close to your face “Why are you so mad at this? I thought you would like it” You're in a daze right now, and his words only make you feel more confused. How could he think that you will like this? He invaded your privacy and betrayed your trust by unknowingly filming you in the most intimate moment of your life, Namjoon seems to sense your confusion and lets out a small cooing noise.

“Oh baby, you really don’t know how long I’ve been waiting for this, don’t you? I had to make sure you didn’t chicken out on me, I can’t let you go that easy, not after waiting too long to have you” His words only confuse you even more and you’re left with more questions than with answers.

“How could you possibly met me before this?” Your voice was barely audible at this point, but you know he heard you just fine, your throat closing up even more when he laughs while not breaking eye contact, before all this mess, Namjoon’s presence was already intimidating, but right now is downright terrifying, you can feel your legs giving out when he comes closer to you, gently cradling your face in his hands, more tears rolling down your cheeks as he begins to speak again.

“Oh darling, you’ve always been so eager, so gullible” The confusion your feeling must be visible to him because he lets a small tsk whilst grabbing a small strand of your bangs to push it behind your ear, his playful tone doesn’t leave his voice.

“It was a mere casualty really, Hoseok asked me to come to the main Bangtan building after one of his rehearsals, but on my way to his practice room, I saw a group of trainees in the smallest dancing studio in the building, dancing to the same part of a song over and over again, most of them messing up every time, except for one” Your entire body freezes and you feel like you might collapse at any moment, this can’t be happening, this isn’t the way things should be going now “I knew from the moment I saw you were going to be a star, and when I started to find out more about you, let me just say I was delighted with what I learned” You need to run, you have to get out of here, but before you can even make a run for it, Namjoon holds you tightly into his arms before he says “I don’t think that’s a good idea baby, you don’t this video to end up in the wrong hands, do you?” Your eyes widen up in fear at the mere though and Namjoon has the audacity to laugh at this “My career will remain intact after this, it might even become good publicity for me, but yours? Oh darling, this will be your downfall, a trainee fucking her producer to assure her success, that’s just low” You violently shake your head at his words.

“That’s not true! That’s not what happened, and you know that!” You’re yelling but no matter how loud you yell, it doesn’t seem like he can hear you, he only brushes you off with an uninterested look.

“I know that darling, but other people don’t, I know you’re a hard working girl who’s fought to be in this position, but they won’t see it that way, if their looking at you like scum now just thinking that we might be dating, imagine how they’ll treat you when they found out you let me fuck you so easily” You can’t control the heartbreaking sob that comes out of your mouth, and Namjoon coos at your pathetic attempt to make him feel guilty, pushing your head into his chest as he embraces you in a hug “Oh but don’t cry baby, I won’t let that happen to you, your my little superstar aren’t you? As long as you stay with me, I’ll make all your dreams come true” His loving and caring tone doesn’t give you butterflies in your stomach anymore, it only makes you feel like you want to puke, and although his actions say otherwise, you’re left with the only option you have left: you believe him, what else can you do after all? No matter what you do, every choice will make you lose, but one will make you lose everything you’ve worked hard for, while the other will make you lose your dignity, and frankly, you don’t know which one is worst.

Namjoon continues to hug you, his hold feels like poison now, who you once considered the man of your dreams has become your biggest nightmare in the blink of an eye and there’s nothing you can do to get away from him now, he kisses you harshly, your tears coming in the way but he seems to be great at ignoring them, and as he deepens out the kiss, there’s only one thought that bitterly crosses through your mind.

You should’ve listened to your mother when you had the chance.

#TTIB series #yandere bts #bts series #yandere!namjoon x reader #yandere namjoon #namjoon x reader #bts x reader #kim namjoon x reader #bts fanfic #rm x reader #thats the industry baby #namjoon fanfiction

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peachypinkygloss · 9 months

Note

hiiii beloved ! already said that but im so so happy for you, you deserve it and so many more! let's go to 1 billion !!!!

stepbros!namjoon and jungkook, dumbfication, manipulation and dollification or bimbo reader idk totally up to u ! do and add what u want my love, i just know is going to be amazing 😌

and again, congrats peachy, love uuuu 🥳💜

- m🤍

sjjsjhgvufdh hi baby 🥺 thank you so much !! 😩 i love you a lot lot lot <3 your support means the world to me ): 🤍

remember

When alone in the house, your stepbrothers play with you.

pairing: stepbrother!namjoon x fem!reader x stepbrother!jungkook

genre: step siblings au, smut

warnings: joon and jk are meanies (like assholes of the year award im not kidding (why is this hot tho)), pseudo incest, kind of dub-con, free-use??, manipulation, degradation, dumbification, crybaby reader 🥲, fingering, cum eating, 1k words.

a.n.: filth is my second name btw AND as always don't read if you don't like!!

This is part of my 2k milestone celebration! Here is the post for the drabble game if you want to participate and send in a request of yours! 🤍

♡・2k celebration masterlist・♡

"What's the matter, mh?" Jungkook whispers in your ear, his fingers skillfully moving in your cotton panties, tracing your puffy clit. "Too stupid to form a simple sentence?" He mocks and you can't help the whine escaping your mouth right after.

Jungkook is being really unfair and mean, as usual. Nothing's new, except for the manly hand dancing in your underwear while your other stepbrother, Namjoon, is in the kitchen. It won't take long until he comes back into the living room.

It's exactly at that moment that you hear Namjoon's footsteps approaching, Jungkook's mouth beside your ear whispering to you again. "Remember, that's what you wanted," he smiles, knowing he has you wrapped around his finger.

He quickly grabs your chin and turns your head around in order to kiss your lips, exploring your mouth with his tongue. He backs away before Namjoon enters the room, keeping his hand at the right place where it belongs.

"What's wrong with y'all?"

You freeze when you hear your brother's deep voice, a scowl drawing on his face. His brows are frowned, looking disappointed, but he doesn't seem to want to stop Jungkook, not at all. You have the impression that he knew and didn't expect it to actually happen.

Jungkook's fingers penetrate you and you gasp loudly, tears forming in your eyes as you feel your pussy burn, fingers stretching you out really well.

You glance in Jungkook's direction, watery eyes asking for pity, begging for mercy. But that's what you wanted, wasn't it?

He doesn't have any pity for you, you realize, and so you turn your head back around, gaze shifting up to Namjoon's face. "I- I-" you begin, but miserably stop as Jungkook starts pumping in and out of your wet pussy. "I asked for it!" You finally squeak out, grasping on Jungkook's arm.

You open your legs wider despite you, your entire body on fire, Jungkook's fingers being too big for your own good. This one smirks at you, satisfied you listened to him and lied to Namjoon. Willingly or not, you did what he said because you're nothing more than his dumb little stepsister.

"I'm sorry, Joonie, I'm sorry," you sob out, apologizing because Jungkook has made you believe it was just all your fault. Sure, you're nowhere near against it, let's not lie, but you also feel like you're betraying Namjoon.

The last time you were alone in the house, Jungkook was locked up in his room playing on his Playstation and Namjoon was studying in his room, too.

You don't really remember how it happened, but it hadn't been long until you found yourself getting pounded into your mattress, crying fat tears under Namjoon.

You had almost lost any rational thoughts that day, only remembering his name that you were crying out each time his hand around your throat tightened or when his cock reached impossibly deep into you.

"No, you're not," Namjoon shakes his head, refusing your lame apology. He steps closer, placing himself just in front of you so you have to tilt your head up to look at him. "Do you know what you are, though?" He questions.

Your eyebrows knit together, confused. "No..." You mutter, shamelessly getting fucked by Jungkook's fingers. Your nails dig into his forearm and scratch his skin as you claw at it, leaving white trails and crescent forms behind.

Namjoon leans over and grabs your chin, his eyes boring into yours. "A stupid slut," he responds all too casually, his hot breath hitting your face.

Maybe he's right because the only thing you can answer is a moan as Jungkook finds your sensitive spot way too easily. Your mouth is agape and you whine in Namjoon's face. You should be embarrassed, but shame doesn't even make its way to your brain as you're too overwhelmed by the pleasure building up in your core.

"What did we do to deserve a brainless girl like you as our sister, huh?" Jungkook chuckles beside you while your gaze is still connected with Namjoon's, little pearls falling down on your burning cheeks.

"I'm sorry," you mumble, weak and defeated. Always sorry for something that isn't technically your fault. That hand didn't sneak in your panties by itself, someone's controlling it. And Namjoon didn't break into your room just like that, it was calculated.

In the end, it doesn't matter whose fault it is because you want it as much as they do.

"Stop fucking whining, you're annoying," Namjoon scolds and you close your mouth, really feeling ashamed now. "This is what you wanted, so fucking take it," he says with a firm voice, making your heart ache in your rib cage and your walls clench around Jungkook's long fingers.

Namjoon lets go of your face roughly and now Jungkook completely wrecks you, moving in and out of you and curling his fingers inside, his digits patting the spongy spot inside your pussy.

You move your legs apart until your feet dangle in the air, hands grasping on the cushions underneath, nails sinking into the material. You keep your mouth shut, but your whines are still heard as well as your sobs, hips bucking upward to meet your brother's hand.

"You're going to cum, aren't you, baby girl?" Jungkook wonders, but it's evident. Your thighs are shaking, your cunt can't stop clenching around him and your cries are amplifying. "God, you're sucking my fingers in like a slut."

Of course, it's after he says that that you feel your high approaching, knot in your stomach tightening. You can't keep your mouth closed anymore and moan out as your orgasm passes through you intensely.

You close your legs around his hand, now too sensitive to handle his fingers. You breathe heavily, looking at them with a blurry vision and damped cheeks from your tears.

Jungkook slowly retracts his hand away from your heat, licking his fingers clean from your cum. You have the feeling that this isn't finished, quite far from it, and you're soon proven right.

Namjoon pulls you up by your arm, only to shove you against the couch on your stomach after. "If you cry again, I won't have any other choice than to shut you up myself."

#m 🤍#🍑 [drabble game]#requests #bts fanfiction #bts fanfic #bts smut #bts x reader #bts drabble #jungkook x reader #jungkook fanfic #jungkook smut #jungkook drabble #jungkook fanfiction #namjoon fanfic #namjoon fanfiction #namjoon smut #namjoon drabble #namjoon x reader

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shina913 · 1 year

Text

Fire to the Low | KNJ

Fire to the Low (one-shot)

Pairing: KNJ x Fem!Reader

Rating: M 🔞; NSFW

Genre: Established relationship; some fluff; smut; pwp

Warnings: crop-haired/buzzcut Namjoon kink; cussing; clit play; oral (f-receiving); dirty talk; unprotected penetrative sex in a committed and monogamous relationship; standing/wall sex; creampie; soft aftercare

Word count: 2,234 words

Summary: Namjoon gets a new haircut but you have to wait until you're alone to let him know just how much you love it.

A/N: This was spurred by a comment made by Namjoon during his recent live when he said that he was over his hair and wished he could just shave it all off (accdg to translations). FYI, if you're curious to know what a skin fade is or what it looks like, here are some variations. I was thinking more of #4 for this AU 😜 I also blame Sim @itdoesntmatterwhy for this prompt because we can't seem to stop screaming and losing our shit talking about how we love crop-haired/buzzcut Namjoon (yeah, yeah, unpopular opinion, whatevs). Anyway, it's nice to revisit those days from PTD Online/Proof album era when he looked absolutely beefy and hhhnnnngggghh 🔥 I think I might also be a step closer to buying that Proof Collector's edition as well LMFAO🤡

A/N2: This is unbeta'd and it's horny word vomit that I finished at 2:30AM so I hope you can get past typos or other errors. I guess you could also consider this as a sequel to Stubble? 😏

“I can’t believe he’s getting married tomorrow,” Namjoon comments as you both head back to your hotel room, coming back from his college best friend’s rehearsal dinner.

“Mm-hm,” you hum noncommittally as he retrieves his key card. While he taps it against the sensor, you reach up to run your fingers against the back of his neck.

Namjoon managed to fit in a haircut before this evening. He got a low skin fade and kept the top cropped with short spikes. You ran late from another appointment and met up at the restaurant instead so it was a nice surprise to see it for the first time when you walked in.

Even though you had already complimented him when you arrived, you couldn't show him how much you appreciated it since you were both busy socializing.

It’s been a while since he had his hair cut this short. The weather was starting to get warmer and he was tired of hair getting into his eyes or having to brush it back so often.

“What’s up?” He asks while you distractedly rub the back of his head.

“Nothing. It’s just…so…short.”

He frowned. “Is it bad? I know it’s kinda drastic and I didn’t want to sweat through my tux.”

“No, I don’t think it’s bad at all.”

He pushes the door open and prompts you to enter first. Once he was through the threshold, you turned around and pushed him against the wall, taking him by surprise.

Finally glad that you were both alone so you could express how much you liked his new look, you whisper, “I think it’s really sexy.”

He squinted an eye at you, seeming incredulous. “I always thought you preferred the long hair.” He cocked his eyebrow and had a sly smirk, knowing how much you loved to pull on it.

“I mean, I do but…” you ran your fingers from the base of his skull in an upward motion. “I can get with this, too. I’ve been fighting the urge to touch it at the party.” The feel of the short, prickly strands bristling against your skin sends shivers coursing through your body.

Just then, you felt his strong hands grasping your hips.

“Have you now?”

“Mm-hm. I love how rough it feels back here.” You rub his scalp gently.

He sighs softly then closes his eyes while leaning into your touch. “That feels nice.”

“Yeah?”

He hummed his agreement. “You know what else feels nice?” His hands start slowly roving up and down your body. “This dress and the way it just clings onto every curve. Just fucking ridiculous.” He stops to give your ass a firm squeeze.

“If I had seen you in this outfit before on your way to the party, I would have called Jon to say that we’d be running a little late.” He pulls you closer to him, grinding his hips against your center. You moan at the feel of his stiff cock rubbing up on you.

He peels himself off the wall and slowly backs you against the opposite wall, caging you with his large frame.

He reaches under the hem to run his forefinger up the inside of your thigh, watching as your lips pressed together in excitement. He smirks cockily and sweeps his finger under the seam of your panties, brushing at your clothed pussy. You groan softly.

“Wet, already?” he whispers, circling you slowly.

“Already? I’ve been wet since I saw your new haircut.”

He clicked his teeth. “Kept you waiting too long?”

You pout playfully and nod. “Just a little.”

“Damn, I’m sorry. Can I make it up to you?” He purrs.

You bite down on your lower lip and nod, watching while he kneels before you with his head lowered. You tug on his hair making him turn his gaze up to you. You stroke his cheek lovingly and he kisses the inside of your wrist in return.

He pulls the hem of your dress until it bunches up a few inches above your waist. He leans in to kiss your stomach while cupping your bottom; your head rolls back in a sigh.

He hooks his fingers to your panties’ waistband and slides them down your leg, only pausing to tap on your ankle, which prompts you to lift your feet to completely rid you of them.

He looks pleased with how lewdly exposed you were for him. And before your skin shivers from the draft, you feel his warm tongue between the apex of your thighs, making your legs buckle under you.

“Hmmmfuck…” Your eyes roll to the back of your head and your grip on his hair tightens. In one broad lick, he has you at his mercy.

He grabs your hips, causing you to jerk against his mouth. You feel his skillful tongue swirl around your sensitive nub of nerves, circling with slow, precise licks before delving deep into your folds.

You writhe in pleasure, grinding your pussy against his lips. He increases the pressure, his fingers digging into your flesh. It’s only a matter of seconds before he has you falling apart; the surging pleasure crashing down into your center has you tensing up, gasping for breath, with your heart jumping into your throat.

“I love the way you taste. I could do this all night,” he cooed against your wet folds before he suckles on your clit.

“Shit, I’m close, Joon!” You gasp in a rush.

A hand is removed from your hip and two fingers plunge into you, sending you into a spiral.

“Yes! Fuck…just like that…” You choked out, not even worried about the fact that you must be ripping his hair out at this point.

You whine helplessly as he stretches your opening with his fingers, circling and thrusting, working your clit with his thumb and lapping at your sensitive lips with his tongue.

“C’mon, baby. Cum for me,” he gasped between powerful, even strokes of his hand.

With a few more measured pumps of his fingers, thumb and tongue, you are tipped over the edge and start free-falling, every nerve ending in your body is set off with sparks of pleasure.

He licks and sucks, slowly and gently, easing you down at a steady rate, your body relaxing and your heart rate calming down. You keep your palms on his head, tracing slow, light circles in his hair.

When you come down from your high, he makes sure that you are steady on your feet before he stands and comes up to plant a light kiss on you. You lick at the seam of his lips, tasting your arousal on them.

He pulls away with a softened expression and looks down at his pants. You take the hint, slipping your hand into the waistband, and skim over his hard-on.

You flick your eyes to his and find them regarding you intently. When you move in closer, he takes the opportunity to lower his forehead onto yours.

You slip your hands around the back of his boxers, smoothing your palms over his ass.

“I love this.” You whisper, molding your palms over his cheeks.

He moaned softly, rubbing his forehead against yours.

You go on and smooth your palms back to the front, grasping his thick, hard cock at the base. “And I really love this,” you dragged out.

“All yours.” He hisses in appreciation while you pumped his length in slow, rhythmic strokes, stopping at the tip to squeeze gently. Unable to withstand your teasing any longer, he dips his head to claim your lips in a growl, eating at your mouth hungrily.

You’re pulled into his chest, feeling his hard length pushed into your groin. You feel the ache building up again, forcing you to withdraw your hand from his pants. The urgent need to have him inside you has you breaking your kiss, ripping the shirt off him, and frantically tugging at his pants. He releases one hand from your bottom to help and his boxers follow.

He swiftly and securely wraps his hands around the waist and pulls you upwards against his body.

“Up, now.” He growls against your neck, as he sucks and bites at you. You obey without hesitation, wrapping your thighs around his body when he lifts you, his arousal slipping over your swollen entrance, causing a desperate moan to escape your mouth.

He crashes his lips against yours, moaning as your tongues explore each other’s mouths. Your hands smooth down his stubble and go around the back of his head, hanging onto him as he holds you with one arm wrapped around your waist. His other arm is against the wall above your head for support.

You move your hands around to grip his neck and shoulders when you feel him pull back slightly, lining himself up to your center. You relax your thighs to give him room.

Bringing his hand down from the wall, he guides himself to your entrance, looking straight into your eyes as the tip of his cock brushes against it.

“Ready for me?” He asks as he darts his tongue out to run it across your lower lip.

“Yes. Are you ready for me,” You press your chest closer to his.

He gets so wildly turned on when you challenge him. With a smirk and a sharp shift of his hips, he thrusts upwards, filling you to the absolute hilt, slamming his hand back into the wall beside your head.

“Oh…God!” You scream when the tip hits your cervix.

“Nah baby, that’s all me,” he strains between slow, deep thrusts, pushing you further up the wall. “Feel good?”

“Always.” You purr at him.

He increases the tempo and you throw your head back, panting and crazy with pleasure, as with each hard strike he pushes you further into absolute ecstasy.

“Fuck, your pussy…so good,” he groans against your exposed throat.

You cry out, helpless to his punishing drives against your core.

He gasps, tilting his head to claim your lips. He moans into your mouth as you hold onto his face, soaking up the passion radiating from every inch of his body.

As your mutual hunger for each other takes over and you reach the point of no return, you lock your thighs around his hips, every muscle in your body tightening in anticipation of the snap and release that’s on the horizon.

It starts to become unbearable and you don��t know what to do with yourself. It’s too much but you also don’t want it to stop. He feels too good and you’re too greedy for him.

He brings his eyes back down to yours. They’re dark and hooded.

“Harder?”

Fuck…he’s going to rip you in half.

“‘Wanna hear it,” he demands.

“Fuck, yes, Joon…harder,” you choke out.

He growls deep in his throat, increasing his thrusts to an even more determined, purposeful pace—something you would never have thought possible. Your legs tighten around him further to the point of pain, but that just increases the friction and maximizes your pleasure.

Finally, that tight coil snaps and you’re thrown over the threshold, cumming around him with a scream and a shudder.

The loud groan that bursts from his lips tells you he’s not far behind. Then, he slows his hips to a steady rocking. He gets in those final strokes before you feel the warm sensation of his release within you, saying your name with his hot breaths bursting against your neck. Once he’s settled, you drop your head to his shoulder, your heart hammering in your chest.

“Holy fucking shit.” He whispers through his suppressed breathing.

You sigh. That was beyond intense. Your mind is pure mush at this point, and you know you won’t be able to stand on your own if he tries to put you down.

As if reading your mind, he turns you so his back is against the wall and slides downward, taking you with him so you’re straddling his lap on the floor. Your face is planted on his chest, and you can still feel him pulsing inside you.

You’re totally ruined by him. Your eyes start to close and mildly aware that you were still stuck to his body.

“You okay, baby?” he says softly as he strokes your back with both hands.

Your eyes open and your brain lurches forward again. “M’fine.” That fuck drained all of your energy but you were completely satiated.

“Can you stand?” He chuckles.

“Can you?” You giggle weakly as you throw the question back to him.

“...Just need a minute.”

Once he gets his bearings he says, “You have the most unusual kinks, you know that?”

You laugh heartily then shush him. “I like what I like!”

You could very well pass out on the floor by the doorway, but you knew that you had to get cleaned up and be in bed soon. Besides, Namjoon had to be up early the next day to fulfill his best man duties.

Namjoon…in a tuxedo. You feel another flutter in the pit of your belly.

Absently, you run your fingers behind his head and against his fade once more.

“So…do you think that after you guys take pictures in your tuxes, we can have a little time before the ceremony?” You give him a sly, knowing smile.

A low, sexy laugh rumbles within him at your request. “Don’t worry. I'll make time.”

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Tags: @itdoesntmatterwhy @purplewhalewrites @internetjunkdrawer

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oftenderweapons · 3 months

Text

London Calling | KNJ

Pairing: Namjoon x Vixen

Wordcount: 3.1k

Genre: Fluff, smut, pwp, established relationship!AU, idol!Au, Married!AU

Rating: 18+; minors, please do not interact

Synopsis: Vixen has decided to distract herself from Namjoon's incumbent enlistment by focusing on her job. She has accepted adding more international works to her portfolio and is currently in London; too bad Namjoon can't help but post risqué pictures on his Instagram, and it really seems he's doing so to try and get her attention.

Warnings: Alcohol consumption, Swearing, Fear of infidelity, Nostalgia. Extremely mild DDLG dynamics, Babygirl!Vixen, Brat!Vixen, Phone sex, Masturbation, Dirty talking. Mentions of: Oral sex (both male and female receiving), Lingerie kink, Sex toys, Spanking. Oh, and one of Joon's friends simps for Vixen.

As usual, you can find my masterlist right here! I wouldn't mind if you took a few seconds to leave a comment or reblog my fic 🥰 Also, my requests are always open!!!

Enjoy 💜✨

“Been hearing someone’s on their worst behaviour.”

Namjoon’s chuckle on the opposite end of the line is everything you need to know. “What can I say, my last moral anchor is busy girlbossing around the world.” He licks his lips and sits down on the sofa, his friends messing around his kitchen, beers and liquors spread around your marble counter. “I’m missing my lucky star.”

“Your guardian angel.”

“My only angel,” he flirts.

The game is back on between you and Namjoon. Ever since you decided to stop waiting around for his enlistment and have started accepting international projects on your portfolio, it’s like no matter where either of you are, it’s always time to flirt on the phone.

Or mess around even more.

He’s touched down in London for you about two weeks ago, showing up at your hotel room with an Agent Provocateur bag dangling from his pretty fingers and the kind of smile that always gets you shimmying out of your panties.

“What are you up to, love? What time is it over there?”

“Uh-huh. I’m the one doing the asking here, mister.”

He puts his glass back on the coffee table, and leans over with his elbows on his knees. “I’m just trying to feed my imagination, little fox. What’s a boy to do, with an empty bed and a sexy wife on the other side of the world?”

“I don’t know, maybe be more careful before talking talks he can’t walk?” you suggest.

He lowers his voice before saying, “You’d be over my knee right now, you know?”

You decide to talk back, just to mess him up further. Your voice is like midnight fog when you tell him, “you’d have to catch me first.”

He steals a glance towards the kitchen. This feels an awful lot like when the two of you began hanging out — the secrecy, the craving, the distance, and the pining. Except this time you have rings on your hands and there’s no doubting loyalty, not on his nor your behalf.

He toys with his own ring, tracing it with his thumb, twisting it a little to the left, then to the right, back and forth.

“It seems you appreciated that quick leak…”

You click your tongue. “One of these days you’re gonna end up naked in those pics and I’ll have to come home to do damage control.”

“Is that all it takes to have you back home? I miss my territorial little vixen.” He stares at your stash of books in the bookshelf, standing tall right next to his, but looking twice more put together.

“I’ve noticed you’ve been acting sluttier lately.”

“At least I haven’t gone entirely shirtless yet.” He picks up the glass again and you hear him swallowing through the line. “Unlike some of my friends. You should consider yourself lucky.”

“Lucky, you say?”

He hears the sound of a glass being put down. “Are you drinking, babygirl?”

You cock an eyebrow and stare at your glass of red wine. “I’m dined and wined. You know which bit is missing. But it seems you’re not that deserving.”

“What did you eat?” He doesn’t grant you the courtesy of winning this sensual verbal sparring. That tiny comment about being dined and wined was a trap, he can tell. Looking so casual and half-hearted can only mean you expected him to go there, and if he does, he’ll probably end up right where you wanted him.

He can do better.

“I had a steak. With a lovely truffle cream. I’ll have to make it for you next time you’re around.” Your reply comes off beat, and he smiles, happy that he caught you off guard.

If this were a match of martial arts, you’d be dwindling a little, your balance compromised. “I’d love to. Miss your tiramisu. Your cheesecake. Your aglio e olio. Your sweet little ass working around the kitchen.”

You laugh, the sound as bright and heartstopping as ever. Blood rushes to his cheeks. He loves making you laugh. “You got the guys over, I assume? Four in the morning?”

“We just finished working. Like maybe an hour ago or so.” He can’t keep calm anymore. Everytime you call him when he’s home, his gaze keeps wandering to every piece of it that belongs to you.

Sometimes it’s suffocating. Sometimes he sleeps back at the studio. Sometimes he stays over at other people’s places.

Now it’s the portrait of your orchids that you had commissioned for him. It sits next to his bonsais, so he can think of your collection each time he’s watering his own.

Sometimes he wonders who is whose subtext, because at times he thinks you’re the one who picked up habits from him, other times he thinks it’s him who accidentally got into certain hobbies through the years so he could be your exact shadow once the two of you finally met and aligned.

“Also, you’re calling at four in the morning,” he observes. “Oh…” He rubs the back of his head, then plops back on the sofa, as if he were deflating slowly. “Right. I’m your booty call.” He chuckles. “Almost forgot.”

“I can find someone else in a more suitable time zone, if that sits well with you,” you reply, your tone just a tiny bit annoyed. His nonchalance irks you just a little.

“That your sneaky link, man?” you hear someone holler on his side.

“So now I’m miss sneaky link, huh? Not bad, mister booty call.” You click your tongue. “I’ll leave you to your friends. I thought you were alone, didn’t mean to disturb.” This could be your chance to win this match.

“No, don’t go because they’re about to. Kind of right now,” he says, looking towards the kitchen and nodding towards the door. “Sorry guys. Vixen’s rule.”

“He don’t deserve you, honey,” one of his friends calls. “Just one chance, miss. Kindly.”

“We’re literally married,” he tells the guy, then to you, “Bum says hi.”

“Oh, hi sweetie. What are your thoughts on the London timezone?” you ask, coquettishly.

“Careful, fox.” Namjoon’s voice is stern when it comes on. It makes you sit taller on your seat, redirecting the pressure in between your thighs. “And you’d better not reply, Bum.”

The guy stares at Namjoon as he says. “For you, anything, my queen. Though, from personal experience, it’s excellent for your late nights and our early mornings. If you know you know,” Bum suggests.

Namjoon slaps the guy’s back with the most sarcastic smile on his face. “Time to go, dude.”

“Starcrossed lovers, that’s our fate, my queen.”

You laugh loudly and Namjoon is a little annoyed. “All the great loves are those that never happened, Bum.”

“Guys, I’m literally right here!?” Namjoon says, embarrassed and just a tad annoyed. “You, get out of my house. And stop trying to seduce my wife.”

“Bum, can you keep an eye on him? Kinda worried I might not be the only sneaky link of his.” You joke about it, but deep down, there’s always a sliver of worry in it. You wouldn’t be surprised if some of his friends were encouraging him to be unloyal to you just because you decided to push forward with your career.

“He’s too busy panting for you to even begin thinking about someone else.” Bum’s putting on his shoes by the door, hushered by Namjoon. His three other friends are similarly getting dressed, laughing at the exchange.

“Literally, Vixen—”

Namjoon looks like he’s baring his teeth at Bum using his nickname for you.

“He’s whipped. We keep him in check, but it’s like guarding a leashed little puppy.”

You giggle, sweet and endeared. “Good. That’s the way I like him.” You lick your lips. “Make sure he doesn’t bare his ass on Instagram.”

“So you’re falling for his little thirst traps?” Bum’s laugh booms in the room and Namjoon wacks him on the head, worried about the neighbours. Also, he doesn’t like admitting that when he posts, he’s thinking about the way you would react when seeing him.

“You know how I am, Bum. I’m always falling for him,” you confess, cheesy and utterly honest at the same time.

Namjoon smiles like the cat who got the cream. “That’s sweet, babygirl. The guys are leaving now. Bye guys,” he says quickly, finally kicking them out.

You try to say bye in return, but you hear the door close and Namjoon is immediately all over you. “Always falling for me, huh?” He heads back towards the sofa. “That’s new.”

“That’s actually so, so old.” You roll your eyes but smile through it anyways.

“You’re my only sneaky link, Vixen. Still got your claw marks all over my back, by the way. Lovely touch.”

“Gotta mark my territory,” you state matter-of-factly.

“Wanna switch this over to a video call?” he suggests, already undoing the first button of his shirt.

“Just so I can be reminded I’m not over there fucking you right?” You snort bitterly. “No way.”

“We could make this our own personal porno,” he suggests, grateful that his trousers are baggy enough to give him extra space around the crotch. “Just a little visual aid.”

“You’re telling me you don’t remember how I rode you last time?” You undo the little bow at the waistband of your pyjama pants, your fingertips tiptoeing around the elastic of your panties.

“Let’s say I wouldn’t mind having a bit more than a memory to hold on to.” As if telepathically connected, he’s also undoing the button and zip of his denim cargos.

“Fair. You usually hold on to my hips while I fuck you.”

He hisses, head thrown back. “And you hold on to my throat when I’ve been an exceptionally good boy.”

A shiver screeches down your torso, then spreads through your midriff and settles somewhere at the small of your back, as if recalling the phantom touch of his hand, of his thumbs imprinting themselves in the twin dimples at the base of your spine. He likes resting his fingers there when he’s taking you from behind. It’s like the little dips were designed for his digits to rest there.

“You’re such a lucky little fucker,” you tease him and he one-ups you,

“I fucking am, but last time I checked you usually sort of profit from it.”

Your sultry laugh is his favourite form of payment — right now he’s richer than he’s ever been.

“Are your hands free, love?”

You let him hang there for a couple long seconds, your breathing heavy. “They’d be freer if you were here,” you tell him. “Maybe not.”

“They’d be all over me, and you know it, little fox.” He purrs as his hand finds a good spot. He’s not yet actually touching himself, but he’s definitely teasing. “Got on a fucking plane for those hands.”

“You flew for twelve hours for these hands.”

“And for that ass,” he adds, quick-witted.

Your laugh is more of a snort. “And that too.”

His zipper is undone, he dips his hand under the waistband of his briefs, shifting it downwards. “For that smart mouth of yours,” he whispers. “Just to kiss it for a bunch of hours.”

“It was very grateful,” you remind him, trying to bluff the fact that your middle finger is now circling your clitoris.

“I remember that.” His heartbeat is starting to accelerate. “I had to stop it from being a little bit too grateful.” He remembers the silky feeling of your hair in between his fingers, the tension in your hand on his thigh as you tried to take more of him. “My birthday girl,” he hums. “And yet, I was the lucky bastard who got presents.” The sight of you in that powder pink corset, with the delicate ruffles, and the feather trims tracing the top of your breasts, palpitating with every single excited breath you took.

It had been like seeing a map of your arousal, goosebumps rising on any inch of skin he had dared lay his eyes on.

“You were so responsive,” he whispered. “You were so fucking wet.”

“You teased me for almost an hour,” you object.

“I’ll have to make it two hours next time then.” He’s throbbing in his own palm, circling his tip, hissing when he hits a too-sensitive spot. “Maybe with the tickler still.”

“It was delightful, I will admit that.” You’re leaning on your hand now, cupped between your thighs. “Wish your face was between my legs.”

“Wish you were sitting on it, baby.” He bites his lip, as if he could recall the feel, the taste of you on his mouth. “Can’t believe it’s been two weeks already.”

“I can’t wait to be home,” you moan.

He can tell you’re touching yourself, from your ragged breathing, and from the way your voice has become more vulnerable, and more impatient too. “I’ll make sure to clear my schedule when you do. We can do that ‘seven days a week’ type of shit.”

You moan and he laughs to himself.

“Are you gonna come for me, my love?” he asks fondly, his voice like a dark caress. “Are you thinking about my mouth fucking you? About my tongue stroking you, feeling how wet and warm and sweet you are?”

“Joon, please,” you beg, a desperate little laugh.

“No need to beg, babygirl. You can have everything you want when you’re with me,” he continues, with his calm, direct voice. “You can take it, love. You can have me deep inside you, and you can suck on my fingers if you’re struggling to keep your voice down.” He’s quickened his own pace, trying to climb as fast as you do. “Or you can be loud, and tell the neighbours who’s making you feel this good.”

“When I get home I want you to mess me up for days. You’re gonna mark me, and make love to me and fuck me and feed me. You’re gonna cuddle me to sleep, then wake me up with your hand between my legs.”

You’re holding your breath as you speak, your high approaching like an incumbent, massive wave.

“I promise, love.”

“Are you coming too?” you ask, and he hums simply.

“I’m close.”

“I want you to fuck me while I sit on your lap.”

“On the sofa?”

“On the sofa, on the floor, in bed, I don’t care.” You gasp, then chuckle as you hit an indecently good angle with your fingers. “I want to hold you as we make love.”

“You will, baby.”

“I wanna whisper in your ear that you’re my one and only. That you’re the only one in the whole world who can get me this good.”

He loves when you get emotional during sex. He loves when you start to ramble and you tell him all those things you usually keep to yourself. “I can’t wait either. I miss you in bed. I miss you at every meal, I miss going to our galleries. I miss every fucking thing.” He’s getting desperate. “And most of all, I miss those eyes on me.”

“I’m coming,” you gasp, out of the blue, the idea of sitting on his lap, naked, making love to him, your mouth clamped around the crook of his shoulder to keep quiet, his hands tracing your back, his eyes looking for yours, for confirmation, for loyalty, for reassurance, for companionship.

“That’s my darling.” He can let go now, and he fucks his hand with intention, with neat powerful jerks. He helps himself with strong thrusts of his pelvis, and precise tugs of his hand too. He grunts when he hears your sweet whimpers on your side of the call, and finally he follows you into pleasure, with the image of your head thrown back, your plump lips agape, your hair tumbling wild behind you as you bounce on him.

He can almost feel the aftertaste of your perspiration on the tip of his tongue.

“Wow,” you say as soon as you manage to recollect yourself.

He’s still sort of numb, his orgasm spilled on his stomach and happy trail. Just a glimpse down and he’s already envisioned the phantom of you studying his semen, lowering yourself to his navel and tracing it with your digit, only to bring it to your mouth to have a taste. He clicks his tongue in disappointment.

“Damn, I wanna cuddle the fuck out of you and you’re too far away.” He reaches for a tissue to clean himself quickly. “I guess that’s why we don’t do this more often. I miss the aftercare.” He pulls himself back in his briefs, then blocks his phone between his shoulder and ear and stands to get rid of the tissue. “How are you feeling, love?”

“Hunting for chocolate.”

“Oh, baby…” He giggles, endeared. “Should I order something for you?”

“No… it’s okay.” You’re a little bit sad, but you try your best not to let it show.”

“Not even those glass beads you’d seen on our favourite website?”

You widen your eyes. “Let’s not make say things we don’t mean now...”

Namjoon laughs fondly. “Thought so.” He waits a little. “We can just talk, by the way. Or you can go grab a toy and we can keep going with this. We could discuss in great details what you intend to do to me once you’re back.”

“We could do that. Or we could video call and you could watch me hump this little thing you got me.”

He grins. “Then let me get comfy. We’ve got quite the night coming up.”

You smile. “We do.”

He hesitates. “We don’t have to, you know? If you don’t want to video call. I’m okay with just hearing you.”

You pause. Your love for him multiplies exponentially in your chest. “Sure we don’t have to. But I want to.”

Namjoon smiles. “Okay.”

“Get comfy, lucky boy,” you tease him.

“I’ll be right there.”

It’s almost six in the morning when you fall asleep. He’s propped the phone right beside him on the pillow and though he’s found himself dropping it a couple times, he’s refused to let go until he was sure you were asleep.

Now he closes the video call and locks his phone, putting it back on the nightstand. He pulls your pillow close, hugging it to his chest, then throws a leg on top of it. He places another pillow in between his legs, where your thighs would normally tangle with his.

He breathes in the vague scent of you left on the bed — not much since the sheets have been changed and he can only smell the laundry scent you normally use, of sandalwood and cedar, warm and spicy.

Twenty-three days.

He can handle it.

He falls asleep with the memory of your body like ivy against his own. Even this far apart, he is and will always be covered in you.

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