#bts rm smut
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NAKED // KNJ
note to self: take baths alone from now on
+
in which nam joon takes any and every opportunity to see you naked
pairing: boyfriend nam joon + oc
au/genre:
(new) established relationship
non-idol au
fluff, crack, and smut
warnings:
explicit langauge and behaviour ...
cockwarming & riding,, some titty grabbing & basic ass position changes
THEY SAY ILY FOR THE FIRST TIME :D
note: originally posted on @/meowachi ,, revised !!
🏷️ permanent taglist: @joonsjuice @taetaecatboy @pb-n-juju @miss-rainy-days @firesighgirl @whoa-jo @vantxx95 @pamzn @kakixaku @casspirit0705 @tae165 @prdshobi @sopebubbles @leefics @ggukkieland @bebebutbetter @yoongimentita7 @vampcharxter @miss-jupiter @floweryjeons @taegijns
The water is colder than you expected.
Your body reacts with goosebumps to which you let out a shiver. Maybe you took too much time getting everything ready that you missed this bath water’s prime temperature… Guess you didn’t girl-math this right.
Oh well.
There’s always next time, right?
Thankfully, his bare body holding yours makes it easier to adjust. He nuzzles his chin on your shoulder and wraps his arms around your waist, not missing the chance to hold your breasts for a moment. You scold him as if it’s second nature and he leaves a trail of kisses up and down your neck as an apology.
Then, you take this moment in. Honestly, setting up music was a good idea. Along with the scented candles, the bubbles in your bath, the bath lavender bath bomb, and the bath salts—all such amazing details. Everything would’ve been perfect if only Nam Joon wasn’t complaining every five seconds.
“I hate baths.”
“I don’t know what I’m doing here.”
“The bath salts went up my ass—”
Finally, you shush him.
“Please,” he cries, “can we fuck?”
Rolling your eyes, you raise your hand and flick him with your fingers. He purses his lips and shuts his eyes in response. Nam Joon sighs, feeling defeated for the nth time tonight. Prior to this bath, he had suggested shower sex. To which, you argued you’d be too afraid to try since you’re as clumsy as they come… And he himself… Well, it was nice of him to ask.
It’s not like you didn’t want to have sex tonight… No, of course, you do. Your handsome and beefy boyfriend was naked, holding you.. Who wouldn’t be turned on? You just feel like being annoying. You want to push him as far as you can. You want to see how good he stays. How well self-disciplined he is.
So, you sink into his body again, taking another deep breath in.
Let’s try this again.
Relax.
You want to relax.
That’s all you want to do.
It doesn’t last. A few giggles escape your lips as he begins to place small kisses on your shoulder all the way to the sides of your face.
“Nam Joon…” you attempt to sound annoyed.
In his low voice, he hums; “Yes, my love?”
“You’re not making me feel relaxed!” Suddenly, you squirm as he bites your shoulder playfully. “I want to—stop that! I just want to relax, Joonie! You said you wanted to join me. You insisted.”
“Sorry, sorry,” he murmurs, only half meaning his apology. No, he wasn’t sorry. He was a man, after all. What idiot would turn down being naked in a tub of water with you? Fucking losers, that’s who.
He squishes your body closer to him. “So... is this what you do?”
You nod.
“Is this all that you do? This is so boring. You don’t even have those ducks to play with or like a toy boat that moves—”
“Nam Joon,” you warn, groaning at how talkative he’s becoming. “You can leave. I wouldn’t mind watching you ass walk away right now.”
He laughs in response, getting the hint. You want to relax. He wants to be with you. This was the middle ground.
“Sorry,” he means it this time. “I’m just bored.. Like, I pictured this to be more… Sexy? Aren’t you supposed to seduce me?” Nam Joon wiggles his eyebrows at you. To that, you offer him and confused look.
“Who knows? Maybe I’ve been seducing you this entire time..” you gaslight.
He lowers his gaze. “You’ve been ignoring me since the minute we settled in the tub.”
“Aren’t you turned on?”
“No.”
You smile at him warmly, yet your tone is cold. “My love, if that’s the case… Then why do I feel your dick poking in between my legs right now?”
He gulps.
“It’s hard.”
“I thought you said it’s boring.”
Nam Joon whines, “___, my dick is hard. I’m bored. Please sit on it.”
You gasp.
Although, you can’t say you aren’t surprised. You’ve been together for less than a year yet he has never missed a chance to suggest such acts. Most days, you’d give in and it would be a good time. But today… You figure it would be much more fun to be a tease. This mood is sponsored by your incoming period. Regardless if it’s PMS or all your stress from work; it didn’t really matter. You just knew you weren't in the mood for super wet, slippery, hot sex in cold bath water. Imagine all the water that would be splashed on the floor! You’d be the one left to clean all of it up. Nam Joon would probably slip and hurt himself if you ordered him to do the cleaning duties.
“Okay,” you tease. “I’ll sit on your dick.”
He cheers.
“But I won’t move.”
“W-what?” Nam Joon blinks.
You shrug, pushing yourself up on his lap. When you find his length, you quickly guide it inside of you. No warning, not even a little rub in between. Nam Joon gulps the second he feels his cock inside of you. Unlike the water, you’re so warm. He hisses, feeling his dick begin to throb inside your tight walls.
“M-mean,” he hisses. “You’re so mean.”
Ignoring him, you sink yourself even deeper. Now, he’s fully inside you and you’re completely sitting on him. You feel his tip and how far he is inside you.. It makes your body feel tingles and you honestly contemplate if you should just give in.
He feels so good.
… And you hate to admit it but you overestimated yourself.
You’re having a hard time too.
Yet, you stick it through. You have to! Rare are the moments you get where Nam Joon loses complete control.
“You asked me to sit on your dick. Sure, I’ll sit on your dick… But I’m not moving. I’m not going reverse cowgirl style. I’m not going doggy. I’m not fucking you.”
“So you’re just going to cockwarm me?” he asks, feeling betrayed. “But you love riding me!”
You glare at him. “No, I don’t. It’s tiring. It’s boring.”
Nam Joon’s eyebrows furrow together. He tries his best to focus on your words and not how perfect you are inside of him. He’s stressed as fuck but he needs to prove to you that he can get through this… He has a feeling that winning you over will get him the reward he’s been after.
“Then why do you do it?”
This is news to him too. You always looked like you enjoyed riding him. Honestly, you probably ride him more than you two do in any other position. Also, why would he question it? You never really complained until now. It’s one of the things he liked so much about you.. It’s like, you just knew him.
“You love it and I love you—”
Your eyes widen.
Did you really just say that? All this time, you were worried about slipping… Who knew it wasn’t about your body but rather your words?
You two haven’t said it to each other yet. God, this is so fucking embarrassing. In this position too? In a fucking cold ass bath? It should’ve been more romantic! Plus, he should’ve said it first! You had it all planned out.. You were going to get it out of him before you could say it first.
As you open your mouth to deny, take back, or spit out an excuse, his words make your world stop.
“I love you too.”
Your breath hitches. “W-what?”
“Yeah,” he scratches the back of his neck. “I’ve been meaning to tell you.. For the past like… Six months but I couldn’t find the right moment. I figured one day, you’d just get it out of me yourself.” Nam Joon looks awfully shy to you right now. It makes your heart flutter.
“I thought the same,” you confess. “I wanted you to say it first.”
“Okay,” Nam Joon chuckles, “Then I said it first.”
Your heart begins to pound louder and faster. God, was he always this good with words? In all honesty, Nam Joon has no problem being the first to yield or confess.. He just needed time. Right now, he knew it well. You’re the right person at the right time. He’s so grateful.
“I wanted it to be more romantic.”
Instantly, he dips his head and kisses you slowly. When he pulls away, he rests his forehead against yours. “A slow kiss. Romantic, right? Better?”
You shake your head.
“You have to hold my hand when you say it,” you whine. “It only makes sense that way.”
“Then, you have to look at me,” he negotiates. “You can’t be looking the other way when I say it.”
“Fine.”
You shift, pulling his dick out for a second. You adjust yourself, opening your legs and facing him. Now, your breasts were completely in front of him. He takes slow deep breaths as you put him inside you again. You wrap your arms around his neck and tilt your head.
God, you’re so sexy.
With or without clothes, Nam Joon thinks you’re the sexiest human to ever exist. It wasn’t because your body was perfect; it was all because of the way you carried your confidence. It was that exact something he sensed and fell into an intense trance over. Moments like these play over and over in his head when he’s away from you. Moments where he feels so close to you. Physically, this was it. There is nothing more he could ask for.
You: naked and on top of him.
But more than that, what makes moments like these so special is the fact that he feels like he knows your soul. Bare, imperfect and so loving. It was sexy to have someone like you. It was something he had never experienced before with past loves. This was a first for him. A first real, sexy, and beautiful love. It was more than your body—it always has been. Regardless, who is he to not try? At the end of the day, he has needs.
“Say it.”
He laughs as he intertwines your fingers together. He raises them above the water to show you. Bringing your hands to his lips, he looks up at you and kisses your knuckles.
“I love you, ___.”
You pout.
He kisses your wrist and then pulls you closer to him. He kisses your breast, your collarbone, your shoulder, your cheeks, and the corner of your lip. “I’ve loved you for a while now. I’m sorry it took a cold bath to get it out of me.”
“Should’ve taken a bath together sooner.”
He laughs into your kiss. “Too bad the bath salts aren’t making me feel too sexy right now,” he confesses his uncomfortability. This is his last attempt. “Unless…”
“Spit it out,” you say, unamused.
“It’s just—”
“We’re not fucking in this bath of cold water, Joon. Give it up!” you laugh as you cup his cheeks together. You squish his lips with your thumb and index, making kissy faces at him. “No more fucking around.”
His suggestive eyes suddenly soften. “Fucking? ___, I wanted to make love… Since, you know.. I love you.”
Three times.
He said, “I love you,” three times now.
And perhaps, you’re not built for this hard-to-get lifestyle when the love of your life says such dreamy things. Of course, you’d give in. As they all say; the third time’s a charm.
You burst into laughter, unable to hold yourself back. Desperately, you kiss him for what feels like forever, and as much as you resist; you end up riding him.
The second you move yourself up and down, Nam Joon’s eyes widen and he smiles into the kiss. He can’t believe he won you over.
“Fucking finally… Or should I say… Finally fucking?” Nam Joon chides, liking his word play more than he should.
Nerd alert.
You grunt, “s-shut up.”
As you two continue to make out, you begin to move your hips as you slowly but surely begin to bounce on his hard cock. It feels so good to finally do this. As you move at a faster pace, the water begins to splash and for a second, you turn your head to make sure it isn’t going to flood the floor. But Nam Joon places his hand on your chin and the top of your neck, guiding you to look at him.
“Don’t look away,” he hisses. “It’s just water. Focus on me.”
You nod, biting the inside of your cheeks.
For stability, you place your hands on his chest. You feel his heart and how fast it’s racing. His skin has little goosebumps due to the cold water, but you can also see sweat from his forehead lightly layer on top of his perfect skin. His eyebrows are knitted together, as he gathers all his mental strength not to cum yet. At one point, you see his lips make an ‘o’. Why was he trying so hard to last?
“Just cum,” you assure him. “It’s fine.”
He shakes his head, refusing to give in this early. “It’s your fucking boobs,” Nam Joon blames. “Mmhff—s-shit. What the hell. Fuck it.”
Without warning, he places his hands on your waist and lifts you up. Nam Joon gently, yet firmly, turns you over. Your chin rests just over the rim of the tub, along with your arms. Your back is arched as he backs your ass up to his dick. He takes his fingers and plays with your clit for a bit. You moan, unable to fathom just how fucking sexy this all is. You feel yourself coming close. Before you know it, he sticks himself back in and begins to pump. Nam Joon pumps himself at a steady pace. At first, they were short and fast strokes that made the water spill over and you moan louder than usual. As you reach your peak and so does he; his strokes transition to long and deep ones.
After a few more pumps, he lets himself go and cups your breasts with his hands. You don’t feel his cum inside of you as your walls still tingle, but you know it’s inside. Regardless of the water, you just know he creamed you messy as usual.
As you two catch your breath, he kisses your neck once again.
“For round two…” Nam Joon teases, “I’m thinking shower sex. Thoughts?”
“Haha,” you play along. “No.”
Nam Joon pouts, giving you puppy eyes. “... But I love you.”
You can’t help but melt.
Oh, you’re so fucked.
You know for a fact he’ll be using this line for a while… And it’ll work. He’ll get you every time. But it’s okay! You love him too. You want him too. You need him too.
Besides, you’ll be charging him the water bill.
#knj fic#bts fanfic#bts smut#bts imagine#bts one shot#bts boyfriend au#nam joon boyfriend#bts rm#bts rm smut#namjoon smut#namjoon x oc#namjoon fic#namjoon scenario#bts scenario#bts fluff#namjoon fluff
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lacuna (knj)
lacuna (n): a blank space, a missing part
In his twenty-eight years, Kim Namjoon had made countless mistakes. Most of them were insignificant and could be shoved easily enough into the back corner of his mind. The worst of them were all tied for first place, keeping him up at night.
Loving you, losing you, and now – picking up the phone.
Pairing: Ex!Kim Namjoon x Fem!Reader
Type: One-Shot (Angst, Smut - 18+ or else.)
Word Count: Like, 7K (?!)
Content: ex-boyfriend au; exes to something?; literally so much angst; yearning; pov switches; oral sex (f receiving); unprotected sex; p in v penetration; cursing; texts from Yoongi.
A/N: For reasons unknown, I decided to break my own heart today! The lyrics you'll see below are from "Sooner" by The Low Blow. There's also a reference to one of my favorite tv shows at the end - did you catch it?
(1/9/23) The sequel, Redamancy, is finally here!
(3/17/23) There is now a playlist 🥲
Sitting cross-legged on the rug, your weary, unfocused eyes stared somewhere in the vicinity of Min Yoongi. Shrouded all in black, you nearly assumed he was your sleep paralysis demon, hunched over his keyboard with his eyes narrowed in thought – but you hadn’t slept much at all lately. Not with your deadline looming overhead like the sword of Damocles.
He relayed what was already looping through your brain. “It’s missing something.”
You scrubbed your hands over your face, too burnt out to care if your foundation stayed where it was supposed to. “I know,” was all you said, though it wasn’t all you were thinking. Listening to this demo – this crushing song about love lost – you knew what was missing.
Or rather, who.
Once again reading your mind, Yoongi spoke with a wary sigh. This time, he said the quiet part out loud. “Listen, I know that on a personal level, this is a terrible idea. But if you really want this track to ache –”
“I’ll call him.”
Yoongi turned to look at you over his shoulder. He, like you, hadn’t slept in over twenty-four hours; but his surprise still managed to crack through an otherwise impassive expression.
“You sure you want to be the one?” His frown was microscopic, but it was there and it bruised. “I have to hit him up, anyway, so I can handle this for you.”
You’d never told him – or any of your friends, come to think of it – the details of your whatever it was with Namjoon. You couldn’t call it a breakup; that would necessitate a relationship. You couldn’t comfortably assign that word to this indescribable something.
But maybe that’s precisely why it hurt to breathe when you thought too hard about it. Maybe the thing that burned in your lungs was the fact that whatever it was wasn’t much of anything at all.
The universally known narrative was that you met Kim Namjoon at a release party two years prior. After years of putting out extended plays, he was dropping his highly anticipated, full-length masterpiece.
That’s what your label called it; that’s what the press called it; but you couldn’t agree. That word wasn’t heavy enough – it didn’t give due credit to the pieces of himself he broke down and buried within those twelve tracks. You felt seen when you heard it. When you saw him, it was game over.
As the story goes, you went home with him that night. While true, it was the tiniest fragment sitting sharp at the tip of an iceberg. The rest was an ill-equipped ship, sailing in slow-motion through the dark.
He'd spent the entirety of his celebration focused on you. What you thought; what you wanted for yourself; what made that tipsy, uninhibited giggle come flying out of your chest. And then, holding his hand like it’d been tailor-made for yours, you followed his lead out of there while confused partygoers murmured in your wake.
He fucked you like he knew you – on a cellular level – and he looked at you like you were all there was. You’d spent the entirety of the following day there, draped over him or nestled underneath him. You were never not touching in some way – in the little interludes of sleep; while cooking a breakfast too big for the two of you alone; on every surface of his apartment.
He changed your life in those twenty-four hours, but not enough for it to stick.
You’d spent as much time with him as you could in the year afterward, until your twin ambitions sent you both rocketing in other directions. Your various obligations never allowed you to be in the same place for long; and when they did, it was over too soon. No amount of time would ever feel like enough, but half a day, here and there, felt like a cosmic joke.
Like the universe was punishing you for wanting everything, all at once.
Eventually, you came to a fork in the road. His career, though international, was rooted in Korea – home. Yours took you to Los Angeles, to a vastly different time zone, and a schedule that refused to make space. And you tried, but when it came down to choosing – idling together or racing forward alone – your respective dreams were so heavy that they tipped the scales.
Neither of you could blame the other. After all, you’d both made the same decision. There was some small comfort in knowing that he understood you. That consolation couldn’t keep you warm at night when you’d instinctively reach out and find half of your bed still empty.
It would’ve been so much easier to live without him if there was some horrible betrayal to pin it all on, but he was as perfect when you lost him as he was when you found him.
Shaky legs pushed you off the ground. Without meaning to, you groaned as your body returned to its regularly scheduled programming. Yoongi simply muttered, “Same,” as he made additional adjustments in his editing software.
You affectionally touched your knuckles to his shoulder as you passed by, though you quickly realized this gesture wasn’t made to comfort him.
You shut the door softly behind you and headed up the hallway. Having kicked off and subsequently lost your shoes several hours ago, you padded in socked feet across the hardwood. The pattern – the various evolutions of Eevee – clashed so blatantly with the extravagance around you. Glancing down, you chuckled. At least some parts of you were still recognizable.
The door to the stairwell creaked as you pushed it open and ducked inside. No longer camped out in the soundproof studio, you could hear the smattering of raindrops as they pummeled the exterior walls of the building. Somewhere between a drum roll and machine gun fire, you couldn’t figure out if the noise emphasized or relieved your anxiety.
Gently, you lowered yourself down on a step halfway up the flight. As you stared down at your phone, your knee bounced of its own volition.
For once, you were thankful for the seventeen-hour time difference. This was the kind of call you needed to make at midnight, but one you didn’t want him receiving at midnight. It felt so much safer in daylight.
At least one of you had eyes on the sun.
You’d deleted his number from your phone months ago because you thought it might help you let go. It didn’t. And to make matters worse, you still knew it by heart. As you typed it out easily, you wished this realization surprised you. You also wished that you’d catch him at a bad time, so you could simply leave a message.
You’d never been lucky, though, had you?
Namjoon was half-asleep at a café table when the vibration of his phone against the wrought metal snapped him out of it. In his under-caffeinated daze, he couldn’t determine what that unbearable grinding noise was.
He could, however, see the way the elderly woman nearby was scowling at him. He furrowed his brows and blinked back at her; silently asking what the fuck her problem was. Just as silently, she pointed an angry, wrinkled finger to his tabletop.
By the time his brain kicked into gear, he was too late. He picked up his now-quiet phone and nearly dropped it in an instant when he saw your name tied to a missed call.
He didn’t think twice before returning it – he should have – having figured there was only one way to know if he was truly hallucinating. You picked up immediately in a voice so you that he couldn’t have imagined it. He knew because he'd already tried.
“Hey.”
People who didn’t know you often mistook the natural rasp of your voice for tiredness, but he did know you. You were beyond exhausted, more so than the last time he’d heard from you. Five months and twenty-one days ago.
This sounded like another all-nighter; like you got so consumed in creating that you couldn’t sleep until you finished. Remembering you like this opened a black hole in his chest – all this fondness with nowhere to go, collapsing in on itself, pulling.
What kind of masochist was he, voluntarily subjecting himself to this conversation?
“Hey,” He croaked. Even his voice didn't know what to do.
He heard shuffling on your end. You always pinned your phone between your right ear and shoulder to start — he immediately recognized the sound of your hair against the receiver when you switched it to your left side. Vanilla and honey flooded his nose despite the thousands of miles that separated him from the scent of your shampoo.
There were a thousand questions spinning dizzy in his mind, but he couldn’t untangle them to spit one out. The longer you both remained quiet, the worse it got – and the worse he felt for his silence. Even without seeing you, he knew that your brows were knitting together. He knew that quiet made you feel too exposed.
Namjoon cleared his throat to speak at the same moment you asked, “How are you?” His words echoed, a half-second from being uttered in unison.
He prayed to any god that he’d stop feeling so nervous. There was no reason to be, not with you. You were his comfort zone, his safe space and – oh. Past tense.
Presently, you were – what, exactly? Could he call you an “ex” if you’d never had a title? It all felt too juvenile, hearing people whisper about his girlfriend. You were –fuck – You were home, and now his house was haunted.
A ghost.
“I’ve been good,” he said quickly, planting a hollow smile on his face that wouldn’t have convinced you if you were there. Liar, liar, liar. “Busy. You sound –”
“Awful?”
“– like you’ve been working all night.”
He heard a sheepish chuckle and his clumsy, thudding heart went flying off into the void.
“That’s actually why I’m calling,” you admitted in a voice so tiny he nearly missed it, “And I wouldn’t be – I promise – if I could’ve bothered anyone else with this. This one, though… when I hear it in my head, I can’t imagine anyone –”
“Say less.”
It slipped out of him automatically. He couldn’t stop it. Now it was dangling there in dead air where he couldn’t reach it and shove it back down his throat. He must have said that to you a thousand times, giving you whatever you needed before you could even finish asking.
This was the first time he’d ever said it without punctuating it with a kiss to your forehead, though. And now, his equilibrium was off, like the staircase had one less step than he was expecting.
When you finally broke the silence, he could’ve sworn he heard you sniffle, but he quickly kicked that thought back into the cage it escaped from. Your voice didn’t sound sad at all, so you couldn’t have been crying. Why would you be?
“I can have Yoongi send you what we have so far, lyrics too. If you’re interested, just let me know – verse, bridge, whatever you want.”
“You’re with Yoongi?”
It came out exactly as he hadn't intended – accusatory. It was no business of his who you spent time with, professionally or otherwise. And it didn’t even surprise him that Yoongi would stick around after the – whatever it was. All your shared friends stayed shared. His confusion was solely that Yoongi never mentioned working with you, let alone flying stateside to do so.
Why hadn’t Yoongi said something? Did he assume Namjoon wouldn’t be interested in hearing about your project? Because he would - he kept up with all of your releases, even if it hurt. Was he scared that the mere mention of you would exacerbate the tailspin Namjoon was barely surviving?
Or was it something else?
“Yeah, he got here a few days ago. I offered to send the vocals to him, but he said he wanted In-N-Out,” Your laugh, even under the weight of your sleepiness, still packed a punch. “Might be the longest trip anyone’s ever made for animal-style fries.”
Namjoon felt like he was going to pass out, but for your sake, he tried to echo your laugh. “Sounds like he’s got his priorities in order, as usual.”
That uncomfortable silence crawled back in and settled in the space between you. It never used to be like this. His mouth remained open as if his broken brain could think of a single thing to say. There were hours in every second that passed, but he didn’t hang up – and neither did you.
“So, if I figure something out, I can shoot it back over –”
You interrupted this time.
“No need,” You chirped. You must’ve sensed that his train of thought now consisted only of question marks because you dove right back in, “I’ll be in Seoul at the end of the month, so we can put all the pieces together then.”
Please be speaking metaphorically. Please say –
“I’ve gotta hop off now, but it was –” Your voice petered out at the end of your statement, and he didn’t know what to do within the pause.
What pleasantry would you settle on to end this conversation? Was it nice to hear from him, or did you also feel like you’d walked through the emotional equivalent of a car wash?
It was heavy when you exhaled the amendment, hitting the ground with a thud that could’ve knocked him over.
It was torture, and it drop-kicked him into the abyss at full-speed. No light above, no hope below. A black hole that he kept selfishly refusing to close – all because he answered your call.
“Thank you, Joonie.”
Fuck. He was doomed.
You spent a shocking percentage of your life on international flights. It was a privilege – you knew it – to travel to the extent that you did, but it was so lonely.
If you were flying, there were two justifications. The first was the most common – touring. You’d touch down in cities all over the world, stay for a few hours, and then you’d leave again as soon as you could blink.
Your interactions were limited, either one-sided conversations from a stage; or facilitated entirely by a local translator. Never truly connecting, missed phone calls and texts sent too late to get a response. The same stale conversations with the crew that had been stuck with you for months.
The second was less common, and somehow even lonelier – visiting a home that was no longer yours.
It always went the same way. You’d touch down at the Incheon International Airport in your home country and feel just as foreign as the tourists bustling around you. You’d gather a suitcase’s worth of belongings and try not to think about the fact that they – and everything else you owned – once lived there, too. You’d hit customs and then, as a reward, snag yourself some boba from the café on your way out the door.
In all those trips, you’d never once hailed a cab because Namjoon was always waiting. You’d hear him before you saw him with how loud he kept his car’s stereo, but when you did finally lay eyes on him, you’d light up like a sparkler. He’d shower you with affection – publicly, despite his usually private nature – and swap out the luggage in your hands for some thoughtful surprise. Flowers, usually, after painstaking deliberation over the meaning he wanted to convey.
Now, you stood on the sidewalk with your empty hand in the air.
Shortly after settling into your cab, you fell asleep. The person who would have gently scolded you for taking this risk wasn’t there to do so. Instead, you woke up stiff and disoriented to the sound of your driver honking his horn. You quickly learned that he wasn’t honking at traffic; he was honking at you with a scowl on his face.
“Time to go! Wake up – your stop!”
He was speaking in English, so it took you a few moments to determine whether you were dreaming. Impatient, he honked again.
Did he think you were a tourist? Was he right?
Your cheeks burned with embarrassment as you threw the door open and hurled yourself out. You ran to the trunk, snatched your suitcase, and tried not to remember that you didn't used to have to do this part yourself.
Yoongi had the foresight to give you a spare keycard before leaving California, so you were able to get into his building quickly – before you were honked at again. Spoken to in English again, like this place had never been home.
You, belonging nowhere and to no one, kept yourself together until the elevator doors gave you some semblance of shelter.
Alone, alone, alone, you cried so hard that your shoulders shook. The mirrored walls around you showed infinite versions of you, all pitiful like you were still that little girl who’d gotten separated from her parents at an amusement park. It was incredible how you felt smaller in that elevator than you did as a child.
And fuck, did that embarrassment make you cry even harder.
Eventually, those doors would have to re-open, and you’d have to let yourself into Yoongi’s unoccupied penthouse just to wait for his return. You were so sick of walking into empty apartments and hearing nothing but your own footsteps. No warmth, no laughter, just a black hole of your own creation.
You chose this, you reminded yourself. This is what you wanted, wasn’t it? You were so busy chasing broader horizons, you didn't notice that the sun had disappeared. If you’d known – really, truly known – what the fall would be like, would you have taken that leap of faith? No, you think, but you did and there’s no jumping back into the airplane once you’ve dived out of it.
Ding.
There was a post-it note waiting for you on the inside of Yoongi’s door that you would’ve missed if you hadn’t taken so much time to shut it behind you. His handwriting was shockingly neat for someone who was always in a rush. His note told you that he’d be home in two hours, that there was food for you in the refrigerator, and that you should help yourself to whatever you needed.
The sinkhole in your stomach wasn’t created by hunger, so you pushed that down to the bottom of your to-do list and dragged your luggage to the guest bedroom down the hall.
Every inch of his place was undeniably Yoongi – monochromatic and edgy, but still so confusingly inviting. His guest room was similar in style, but with more personalized touches than most visitors tended to expect. Framed photos of friends, and the collaborators he was most proud to work with.
Your eyes eventually found one of you, beaming brightly.
It hurt to look, but you couldn’t tear your gaze away. It was taken in a photobooth at Kim Seokjin’s wedding last spring. You were sandwiched on a small bench seat between Yoongi and Namjoon.
The former, like you, was captured in the middle of a laugh - smiling at the camera with all teeth, eyes crinkled at the edges but still sparkling. The latter wasn’t looking at the camera at all – just you, like you were all there was.
Forcing yourself to look away, you returned the frame to its place on the vanity and kept moving. Your primary instinct was to hurl yourself into the plush bed and never leave it. But you felt stale after spending so much time traveling, and you didn’t want to collapse into those beautiful sheets until you’d scrubbed the day off you.
Shuffling off to the bathroom, you finally remembered to take your phone off ‘airplane mode.’ All at once, the floodgates opened. The onslaught of texts, emails, and voicemails was so overwhelming that your phone froze.
When the flurry stopped, you scanned through your various inboxes for anything that might require an immediate response. Finding nothing urgent, you were about to set your phone down when you saw an email from Namjoon, addressing both you and Yoongi.
His verse, you realized as you opened it.
I think I lost you sooner than I wanted to
And I know you can't say the same
But I can't hate you for doing what you've gotta do
Cause I'm just in bed sleeping through the pain
Do you see wasted potential when you look at me?
Of what we could be if it wasn't like this
I know you asked me not to try and change myself
But when I was with you, I felt fixed
It took everything you had not to drop to your knees.
Namjoon was an incredible liar.
He didn’t utilize the skill often – in fact, he was usually too honest – but when he did, he could get himself out of any unwanted scenario.
In the distant past, he’d slip out of obligations made by his label to stay home in bed with you. It worked every single time. Instead of putting on some over-priced suit, wasting his breath swapping empty pleasantries with industry tools; he’d be hooking his arms around your quivering thighs, pinning you to his face as he fucked you with his tongue.
In the present, he lied again.
Yoongi asked, “How did it feel to hear from her again?”
“To be honest,” Namjoon started, knowing full well that nothing he said next would be, “That shit’s behind me, man. I was surprised her number was still in my contacts, you know? She’s been a non-factor for a minute.”
Yoongi rolled his eyes, “With the number of girls you’ve gone through in the meantime, I imagine it gets hard to keep track.”
Hook, line, sinker.
Namjoon offered a smirk and a shrug in response, which Yoongi accepted without further comment. The relief of being believed did nothing to cure the nausea swirling in Namjoon’s stomach, though - not just for the cruelty of his lie, but for the way he’d acted since you left and stayed gone.
He learned early on that it would take more than fucking someone he didn't know to keep warm, but knowing better didn’t mean he did better. None of them – and there were many – could pull him from the limbo he found himself in without you. There was an emptiness gnawing at his insides that he couldn’t fill, and the more he tried, the more it tore at him.
The only thing he succeeded at was becoming someone he didn’t recognize –someone he didn’t even like.
Yoongi pulled into his parking garage and turned to Namjoon, staking him through the heart with words alone. “Well, the non-factor is upstairs, so try to remember her name when you see her.”
Namjoon chuckled, but it didn’t sound anywhere close to convincing. There was a flicker of doubt in Yoongi’s quickly flexed eyebrow, though he kept any questions he may have had to himself. Without a word, they clambered out of the car, and they stayed quiet until they stepped into the elevator.
“How has she been?” Namjoon asked more quietly than he meant to. Like someone who’s scared of the answer - or worse, being asked why he’s asking. Quickly diverting further inquiry, he provided clarification Yoongi hadn’t sought. “Sounded tired as fuck on the phone.”
Yoongi glanced at Namjoon before selecting the button marked with his floor number. “You know how she is,” He hummed.
That one hurt. He knew how you were – past tense.
Except for that one phone call, he hadn’t heard your voice in months. He hadn’t seen you for even longer than that. Your number hadn’t changed, but for all he knew, everything else could have. All he had now was his memory’s pale imitation of you, always in sight but never within reach.
A ghost that disappeared into the walls before he could get too close.
When the elevator door opened, Namjoon was fighting between running forward and running away. Incapable of doing either, it was Yoongi’s light punch on his bicep that prompted his feet to move. Namjoon trudged along after him until Yoongi stopped short with a groan.
“The fuck?” Namjoon coughed as he collided with Yoongi’s back. “Don’t tell me you’re already winded, dude. I’m not giving your old ass a piggy-back ride.”
The scowl he received could’ve scorched the Earth.
“I forgot my fucking phone in the car.” Yoongi tossed his apartment key at Namjoon. It thudded against his unsuspecting chest only to be caught on the rebound.
Then, Yoongi pointed at the door. “Go play nice and figure out where we’re getting take-out from. I had a dream about bulgogi last night that was borderline sexual, so keep that in mind.”
Namjoon’s face scrunched up. “I’ll be trying my best to keep it out, so thanks for that.”
Yoongi had already turned around, waving a dismissive hand as he stalked off.
As soon as Namjoon heard the elevator doors close, his phone chirped in his pocket and caught him off guard. He glanced down to find a text from Yoongi – who was, apparently, also a liar.
Yoongi [18:19 PM]: fyi you always say “to be honest” when you’re about to say some bullshit
Yoongi [18:19 PM]: "non-factor" my asssssss
Namjoon grimaced and shoved his phone back into his pocket before walking to Yoongi’s door with his heart in his throat.
Clearly, Yoongi wanted Najmoon to fix things with you. He’d crafted some false narrative to get himself out of there, to give Namjoon the time and space to do it. But there wasn’t a single fucking thing he could say to rebuild the bridge you’d both demolished together.
That is, if you even wanted him to try.
After unlocking the door, he froze. A full minute passed before his hand received his brain’s signal to turn the knob, and even then, his feet felt as if they were encased in concrete. If hearing your voice made him spiral, he was terrified of what the sight of you might do.
More than anything, he was scared to see how you looked at him – and he didn’t know what reaction he wanted. If you lit up the way you used to, it might kill him. If you had no reaction at all, it would definitely kill him.
He would’ve stalled at that threshold all night if you didn’t appear in the hallway, straight ahead. You froze like a deer in headlights, one hand still on the door you’d exited from. Eyes wide, lips parted ever so slightly in surprise.
He didn’t notice the red rims around your eyes right away, but once he did, every cell in his body screamed at him to run to you, to hold you.
But he didn’t.
Touching you now only to lose you again tomorrow - well, that was a scab he couldn’t rip off again. There was only scar tissue where his heart used to be.
“Hey,” You smiled so sweetly when you saw him, but it didn’t reach your eyes. Those fucking eyes! He’d give up everything he had to erase the sadness swimming behind them, threatening to spill out.
Why were you still so far away?
You glanced around him, noting Yoongi’s absence, but didn’t ask where he was. “I was thinking we could get something from that –”
The longer he stared at you, the more impossible it became to keep his distance. He couldn’t stand on that doorstep with you over there, trying so hard to look like you hadn’t been crying – like you weren’t about to start again.
Fuck it.
If he was so dead-set on re-breaking his own heart, he’d do it with you in his arms.
“Joonie, is everything oka–”
No, nothing was. Nothing had been, not for – fuck, are his eyes getting misty? - a long time. Not since you walked out of his apartment for the last time, and he let you. He couldn’t make any of it okay, but with you there now, he didn’t give a fuck about where you were before.
Your eyes were as big as the moon when he finally reached you, blinking your surprise up at him.
Did you really think he had any other option than to hold you? Did you have any idea how you looking at him like this - bare-faced, freshly-showered, vulnerable - demanded his immediate affection?
It felt like coming home, sliding his fingers through your still-damp hair. He could’ve fallen to pieces when the familiar scent of your shampoo – vanilla and honey – crashed over him, but he didn’t. His lips collided with yours, and for the first time in a fucking year, he felt whole.
You clung to him so desperately, you could’ve ripped a hole in his shirt. You couldn't care about that, though, because he kissed you and it was pure starlight. He kissed you hard, nicking your lip between his teeth until you opened your mouth against his.
You whimpered into him, drunk on the wet heat of his mouth, melting and falling and spinning and flying. You felt it all fall to the wayside, every second wasted without him, every text you didn’t send, every wrong turn that led you so far away.
You didn't realize until you finally broke apart that the tears on your cheek weren’t exclusively yours. His gaze locked with yours, and all either of you could do was gasp for air - chests heaving, lips kissed swollen. If not for the arm around your back, pinning you against his chest, you would’ve floated away. But he had you, completely.
Finally, you felt tethered.
Your trembling hand settled on the side of his face. Fuck! That face. The warmth of his skin, the heights of his cheek bones, the gentle slope of his nose.
How many mornings did you wake up and miss it? How did you ever fall asleep without it nuzzled into the crook of your neck, without the whisper of warm breath on your skin?
You wanted to scream until the hurt left your chest, but you didn’t dare – not with that face so perfectly close to yours.
He spoke first, “I’m so –”
Your eyes followed your thumb as it swiped over his bottom lip, unearthing a quiver that burned you up inside. He was paralyzed by your touch. Enraptured. Leaving that clause hanging open in the air.
His eyes were wide with anticipation as he watched you, pupils dilating when you whispered. “Say less.”
Faster than you could process, he lifted you off the ground as if you weighed nothing at all. Automatically, your legs locked behind his back; your lips re-captured his and his kiss never faltered as he carried you back into the guest room. Quickly and with a shocking display of control, he kicked the door closed without slamming it – or breaking it.
Like so many times before, he laid you gently onto the mattress as if you were crafted from porcelain. And when he finally pulled away from you, you gazed up at him in awe.
This was one of the million reasons you couldn’t seem to let him go – the way his eyes softened when you were breathless underneath him, like you were the only thing in the universe worth looking at.
There were too many things to be said that neither of you could verbalize. You felt them all falling down around you like confetti, loose ends to be tied up later. He didn’t need to say a thing, so long as he kept looking at you like that.
When his fingers landed at the hem of your shirt, you knew what came next. A dance you’d done a thousand times, you lifted your arms for him to pull it up and off. Still damp from your shower, the ends of your hair raised goosebumps as they chilled the bare skin of your back.
He moved slowly and without breaking eye contact as he unbuttoned your jeans. Your zipper followed, then your jeans and underwear in tandem. The denim dragged so deliciously against your thighs as he slipped them down, down, down. As he tugged them off your ankles, you discarded your bra and tossed it aside. You were entirely bare and shivering with anticipation when his gaze found you again.
His shirt soon joined yours on the floor. Kneeling between your legs, his bare chest burned against your own as he kissed you for the third time. So many more were needed to make up for lost time, but you could feel how much of himself he poured into the kisses he’d credited you with so far. The taste of his mouth on yours was indescribably intoxicating after so much time apart.
With you sufficiently distracted, the hands that cupped your face began to migrate. You felt so small under his touch, reduced to putty in the warm expanse of his palms. His face lowered too, freeing your mouth to moan as he placed open-mouthed kisses down the length of your neck.
Involuntarily, you gasped when his fingers pinched at one of your nipples. The curve of his smile impressed upon your throat as he suckled at the sensitive skin he found there, leaving clouds of indigo behind.
As he marked you, he rolled and tweaked your nipples in turn. Your eyes fluttered shut and you keened while your head crashed back against the pillows, “That mouth – feels s-so fucking good.” Your fingers carded through his hair, fingernails scratching lightly against his scalp; his silence broke with a shuddered moan.
“S’all I want, baby,” He hummed as his lips trailed down from your neck and beyond your collarbone. “To make you feel good.”
You were trembling when he claimed one of your nipples with his mouth. Then he had the audacity to look up at you from under his lashes when he released it with a lewd pop, causing your back to arch against his chest with a gasp. There was a rumble from deep within him when your grip on his hair tightened, and the sound alone made you gush.
“To taste you,” His tongue left a wet stripe above your navel as he continued his descent, large hands dipping beneath you to squeeze the doughy flesh of your ass. Shit - you would simply never recover from this. “To devour you until you melt in my mouth.”
Another sharp tug at his hair, another guttural moan breaking free from your chest.
How often had you dreamed of this in your time apart? How many times did you try to remember how it felt when that timbre whispered sins against your naked body? Fuck. With those words alone, he had you on the brink.
You whined when he pulled away from you; but it quickly turned into a gasp when he hooked his arms around your thighs and dragged you with him towards the end of the bed. Now kneeling on the floor, he ducked below your knees until they rested over the tops of his shoulders.
Face so near to your aching core, he growled, and you felt it. “I missed this pussy –” He placed a wet kiss on your inner thigh, prompting you to clench them reflexively. “I missed the way your thighs squeeze around me while you fuck yourself against my tongue.”
Shivering, slack-jawed, and stupid, you grabbed fistfuls of the comforter below you. He was so painfully close to your cunt and still so fucking far from you. You knew he could see how badly you craved him - you’d beg for his mouth if you had to.
Of course, you didn’t have to - you never did.
Seconds before your impatience could drive you fully insane, he was on you, tongue flat against your cunt, dragging up against your slit. When the tip of his tongue flicked over your clit, you cried out with a buck of your hips. His grip on you tightened, pinning you flush against him as he teased you.
“That it’s, baby. Good girl.”
It’s a miracle either one of you could form words with how relentlessly he licked, nipped, and suckled on your throbbing cunt. All you could do was babble in response to his praise – until the tip of his tongue penetrated your weeping hole, and you screamed.
A flurry of curse words spilled from your lips; his name sprinkled in between the obscenities. Fuck, you needed more. More, more, more. You extended your arm and reclaimed your grasp on his locks. Once you did, you began to grind yourself against his tongue until your abdominal muscles burned - you hadn’t utilized them to this extent since the last time.
His hand squeezed your thigh, goading you, encouraging you to use him the way you needed to. The pressure of his tongue increased with your pace. You had no control over the sounds you made; the breathless moans escaped you before you could think of trapping them. The coil was tightening, burning red-hot in the pit of your belly.
So good, so good, so g –
“Fuck!”
One by one, your muscles tensed in quick succession until your body shook violently in his grip. Toes curling, back arching, head crashing backwards into the pillows, mewling.
When you finally gathered the strength to re-open your bleary eyes, there were spots dotting the edges of your vision – and then there was Namjoon, fuck-drunk between your weakened knees, with a mixture of his saliva and your orgasm shining on his chin.
Lustful eyes locked squarely on your flushed face; his tongue slid from between his swollen lips to attend to the mess you’d made of him. His panting rivaled yours, but unlike you, he was still capable of speech.
“I will never – ever – get tired of watching you come,” he sighed before wiping his mouth against the back of his hand, “You’re so fucking beautiful like this.”
As he climbed back on top of you, he placed a chaste kiss on your sweaty forehead. “So vulnerable –” Then the tip of your nose. “So vocal –” Then, too briefly, your lips. “Perfect.”
“Joon,” You murmured against his lips. His mouth curved into a smile at the nickname, which you used almost exclusively to win arguments, or to persuade him to do something. It worked every time.
He nudged your nose with the tip of his as he tried to conceal his laugh. “Baby?”
The fond look in his eyes was quickly covered by fluttering eyelids as your fingertips whispered down over his chest. They snapped open and bored into you as your fingers slid over the waistband of his joggers, tracing a feather-light trail over the bulge below. You felt his cock twitch autonomously against the warmth of your palm.
“Shit,” He hissed through gritted teeth as you squeezed him. Eyes drifting shut once again; he rolled his hips to exacerbate the friction. His neck tensed, head thrown back, when you finally dipped under the elastic and took him into your hand. Skin to skin, burning up.
The next moan from his fawning mouth was something you hadn’t heard in his voice for months – your name. “I need you. Now.”
In the few moments he pulled away to remove his pants, a chill crept in and settled where the weight of his body had just been.
There it is again, you thought, the feeling of having him and losing him.
When this night was over and he was gone from you, would he stay that way? Should you have gone this far, knowing nothing would be different in the daylight?
You were blinking fast when he reclaimed the space above you. Something flickered in his eye as he assessed the look on your face, but he didn’t ask. Instead, he leaned down and kissed you so gently that you could’ve imagined it – but so completely that your brain could never have fabricated it. Not successfully, anyway.
You’d already tried.
Breaking apart once more, he reached down and stroked himself slowly. His eyes never left yours. You both held your breath as he slid into you, millimeter by millimeter, reminding your body – after all this time – how to take him. All of him, to the hilt, until you could finally exhale.
Stretched to accommodate his width, so fucking full, you saw a way out of the nothing that had you trapped like quicksand. It was him, always. Your safe haven.
Neither of you could speak once he began rolling his hips against you. The quiet was electrified by heavy breaths and whimpers. The wet heat of your cunt squelched as your walls enveloped him, just as unwilling to let him go as the rest of you.
Over and over, he grinded into you, dragging his length across your most sensitive places; hips swiveling slightly to the side as he pushed and pulled himself through you, the way he knew you liked it.
Open mouth beside his ear, you keened and sighed, wordlessly informing him that you wouldn’t last much longer. He was perfectly attuned to your subconscious movements, and he responded to each of them without hesitation.
He’d never need to be reminded that the fingernails digging into his biceps meant faster, and the upward tilt of your jaw meant deeper. That when your eyebrows rose above your closed lids, you were seconds away from your release.
He remembered exactly how to fuck you through your orgasm when it came – shallow, staccato thrusts that unraveled you further as you writhed against the sheets. The spot on your neck to nip at like some secret switch, praise dripping hot in your ear like honey.
“Such a good girl, squeezing me like this,” He panted, “Taking me so well – so fucking perfect for me, angel.”
As soon as you crashed down through the atmosphere, his movements threatened to ricochet you right back into space. You keened helplessly with your half-numbed fingers gripping any part of him where they could find purchase.
“I c-can't stop -” You mewled, “How am I s-still c-coming?”
His response didn’t come in the form of words. His lips collided with yours hard enough to clink teeth as he drove himself deeper and deeper and deeper. Sloppy, kiss-bitten lips laying claim; relentless in their mutual need for closeness. Your walls were still fluttering around him – was this your second orgasm or your third? - when he moaned into your mouth.
Every part of him tensed above, around, and inside you as the flood of his release filled every crevice of your cunt.
Breathing ragged, his head fell into the crook of your shoulder. Considerate as ever, he tried so hard to keep his full weight off you, but his exhaustion undermined his efforts. You didn’t mind at all – you’d re-build your home there, staying forever between his body and that borrowed bed if you could.
But you couldn’t, could you? If you felt empty before, how could you feel whole again after this? His name etched itself into your ribcage, and now your body would never re-acclimate to his absence.
Why did you do this to yourself?
You squeezed your eyes shut tight when you felt tears prickling in their corners.
Everything you felt for him – over the course of two years – came crashing down over you. You buried your face into his shoulder and tried your best to keep your crying to yourself.
You’d never get his scent off your body now.
He could sense your shaking; it forced his heavy lids open.
“I don’t know what to do with it,” you sniffled, silently begging yourself to stop. You felt yourself shrinking under his eye. It would only be a matter of time before you disappeared entirely.
His tone dripped with concern, serving only to deepen that infernal ache in the pit of your stomach. “With what?”
“All the love I have for you. I don’t –” You sobbed, “I don’t know where to put it now.”
His breath caught in his throat as if you’d punched him straight in the chest. If you listened hard enough, you might’ve heard his heart break. You could certainly feel it in the way he tensed in your arms.
When he moved off you, you feared the worst – that your incessant crying overflowed the bathtub, and your admission was the toaster thrown recklessly inside. But unlike the last time, he didn’t leave - and neither did you.
The mattress shifted as he claimed the space at your side - where he should have been all this time. Strong arms enveloped you as he turned to face you, and even though he held you, he couldn’t stop you from shattering.
For a while, he let you. Squeezed you hard, stroked your hair the way he used to, let you cry out all the poison that filled the spaces in the cavern of your chest.
And when you could finally breathe again, he kissed your forehead. “I’ll trade you for it.”
(1/8/23): Check out the sequel, Redamancy, here.
#bts#bts army#bts fanfiction#bts fanfic#bts fic#bts rm#bts rm angst#bts rm smut#bts namjoon#rm x you#rm x y/n#rm x reader#namjoon angst#namjoon smut#namjoon x reader#namjoon x y/n#namjoon x you#namjoon imagine#namjoon fanfiction#namjoon fanfic#namjoon fic#bangtan#bangtan sonyeondan#jade writes
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Kinktober Day 30- Fucking Machine
Pairing: Namjoon x Fem!Reader
Warnings: hard dom!Namjoon, edging, dacryphilia, daddy kink, nicknames (baby, baby girl, good girl, kitten, daddy, slut), unprotected sex, creampie.
=Let me know if I missed any.=
18+ MDNI
PROMPT LIST
MASTERLIST
You loved trying new things with Namjoon. He always made sex fun and interesting. He always made you feel safe and loved afterward too. Everything about him was perfect including when he was in the mood to be a little rough and mean with you. Recently, he discovered a new form of edging that he wanted to try out on you. Especially tonight since you had been bratting him all evening and you needed to be punished. He had you strapped to the table in the playroom and was preparing the dildo on your fucking machine. When everything was ready he lined the dildo up with your already-soaked pussy and turned the machine on. It was on a decent speed and it felt so good moving in and out of you. Not as good as Namjoon felt though of course. Namjoon simply watched for now getting more and more aroused at your moans. You were so fast approaching your release.
"Uuhh. Fuck! Please Namjoon. I'm so close. I-I just need you to be inside me like you usually are. Come on. Please." You were begging him to fuck you but, he wasn't ready to give in yet.
"Daddy! Please!" You yelled as the dildo shoved its way inside of you hitting every rough spot inside of your pussy.
"Not yet. I want you to suffer just a little bit longer, Kitten," He said smirking as he turned the fucking machine up just a bit more. You could feel its rough movements and its deepness inside of you.
"Fuck! Namjoon," you scream out.
"Not yet," he said turning the machine off just before you got your release.
"What the fuck! Why did you turn it off?" You start freaking out.
"Maybe if you were a good girl I would turn it back on. However, you're not so," he said laughing darkly. After a couple more minutes he turned the machine back on. You loved it and hated that you loved it so much. You loved how rough he got with you in the bedroom. He was so much better in that department than your previous boyfriends. You loved how he made you feel after being put through a session with him. He would have you tied up, blindfolded, and gagged but, he always took the time to make sure you were okay. He would rub your arms and legs to loosen up your muscles and always make sure you were safe and comfortable. The machine was going full force again and you were getting anxious to cum. You were getting so close and you so badly wanted the release.
"Fuck. Daddy. Please. I need to cum. I'm so close. Don't stop," you begged. He just shook his head and when you were about to cum he turned the machine off again.
"Awe, look at my baby becoming nothing but a desperate slut begging me to let her cum," he cooed.
"Please, Daddy," you said, "I will be good I promise please just let me cum. When he started the machine again you thought this time would be it. Your orgasm was fast approaching but, you knew you still needed permission before you came.
You begged again, "Please let me cum Daddy please!"
"No," he said simply, turning off the machine. Tears of frustration started flowing down your cheeks.
"Color, baby," Namjoon asked checking in when he saw the tears.
"Green," you responded and he continued. He edged you with the machine twice more before you couldn't take it anymore.
"Namjoon!" you yell.
"Daddy?" he corrected walking up behind you and whispering in your ear.
"Daddy," you said barely able to think anymore.
"That's right Kitten. Daddy wants to fuck his baby girl. Daddy wants to feel his Kitten cum on his cock. Is that okay with you?" he said holding you close to his chest. You could no longer for words and just nodded as you felt him line his cock up with your pussy. You were so turned on. He was so much bigger than the dildo and he felt so good inside of you when he fucked you.
"Daddy wants to hear you ask him nicely," he said smirking as he thrust into you roughly.
You gathered all your remaining strength to moan out, "Daddy please fuck me. Harder Daddy. Please."
"Fuck! That's right Daddy will fuck his pretty little slut," he said as he slammed into you. He was hitting your G-spot perfectly.
"Oh, Daddy. Daddy. Daddy," you chanted. He pounded into you roughly knowing you could take it. When you were close again, he stopped moving and left you there hanging and you whined, "Please Daddy I need you to fuck me. Don't stop."
"Daddy will fuck you when he is ready. He wants to hear you beg for it. Beg Daddy to fuck you. Beg Daddy to make you cum on his cock," he said with authority.
"D-Daddy please please just fuck me. Fuck me please cum inside of me," you begged trying to find the words to get him to give you more.
"Beg more," he said.
"Daddy please fuck me. I'm so close. Please. Please, Daddy," you said doing all you could.
"What else do you want?" he said. You tried to think of anything you could to get more.
"Daddy, please. Make me cum. So close Daddy," you said struggling to talk.
"Let Daddy hear how badly you want it," he said.
"Please, Daddy. I want it. I need it. Fuck. Please, Daddy. Please, Daddy. Please I need it so bad. Please," you cried. He finally gave in and began to thrust into you again. When you were close, he fucked into you faster and you were right on the edge.
"Can I cum, Daddy, please," you begged once more.
"Yes, Kitten cum all over daddy's cock I wanna feel you squeeze around me," he replied. Soon enough you were screaming out in release as he continued to pound into you.
"Good girl. You're a good girl. Daddy's going to cum inside of you. Daddy's going to coat your pussy with his cum," he whispered. You felt him shudder behind you and his body pressed up against yours. He was cumming.
"Daddy's cumming inside you Kitten. Daddy is cumming now," he whispered in your ear. He kept his cock deep inside of you for a minute before he pulled out and let the cum drip out of your pussy.
"You're such a good girl, Kitten," he cooed as he started to clean you up.
"Thank you, Daddy," you said as he untied you and helped you up. He gently rubbed the spots on your arms and legs that were getting sore. He wanted to make sure you were okay after he was so rough with you. He picked you up and put you in the bath and then got in himself wrapping his arms around you. You cuddled together as he kissed your head. He helped you through the aftermath with lots of reassurance and aftercare. When you were done with the bath he helped you out, dried you off, and helped you into some comfy pajamas. He laid you down on the bed and covered you with a blanket, tucking you in as he kissed you one more time. He went to the kitchen and brought you your favorite bottle of water as he laid down next to you also joining you under the blankets.
"You're so good to me," you said taking a sip.
"I love you. I want you to be happy and I will do whatever I can to make that happen," he whispered to you and kissed your head.
"I love you too," you said looking up at him. He kissed you passionately on the lips and then rested his head on top of yours. He made enough room for you to lay your head on his chest and you both fell asleep.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A/N: There was also a request for this one and Minghao however, this one came in first. I will be writing the other one separately from the official kinktober tag as well as any other requests I got from people for prompts I have already written for.
#kinktober 2023#kinktober#k pop smut#x reader#namjoon x reader#kim namjoon#namjoon smut#bts smut#bts namjoon#rm#bts rm#bts rm smut#rm smut#bts
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Release
Pairing- Namjoon x Named Reader
Word count- 3.3k
Includes- Sexual frustration, oral, pussy eating, cum eating, cockwarming, table sex, studio sex, from behind, missionary, multiple orgasms, squirting, fluff
Tag List- @mingtina @jaxminnie @yeosayang @delightfulmoonbanana @tannie13 @y00nzin0 @marsstarxhwa
@borntowalkaway @soulseobi05 @kpop-bambi @seokwoosmole @meowmeowminnie @realisticnotes @effielumiere @svnbangtansworld @pinkies-things @insomniacatiny
Gif Credit- jung-koook
Masterlists- check out for more fics
📝Masterlists 📝BTS Masterlist 📝Namjoon Masterlist
Namjoon POV
She moans in my mouth as she kisses me wildly, her arms around my neck, fingers tugging on my hair so pleasurably
She's in my lap, straddling me, both our bodies naked from the waist up, my arms around her waist, holding her right against me, feeling her soft skin against mine
Her hips move, rubbing her clothed pussy on my cock
I'm barely holding it together and I have to stop before I cum
"Bbb...baby stop", I gasp when I break the kiss, my hands stopping her from moving more
"No Joonie. No baby", she whimpers, her gorgeous big brown eyes pleading with me
"I can't baby", I answer
She knows I can't
I was working on my home studio when she came in
I knew what she wanted
She pulled my computer chair back, sat on my lap and kissed me
And because I love her and yeah, I'm horny for my wife, I kissed her back
Now I'm in this predicament
"I want you baby", she whimpers, pressing kisses to my neck, right into the spot I love
"I....I can eat you out-"
"No Joonie! That's all you've been doing for days. I love your tongue and your fingers but I want your cock!", she protests
"Babe-", I start
"No! You took this stupid bet without telling me and because of it I can't have your dick! That's not fair!"
"I know babe-"
"No you don't know!", she snaps, frustrated, "I want you! And you would flip a fucking shit if I told you I made a stupid agreement and you couldn't have my pussy for a month!"
She's right
I would be so pissed
But fucking Jimin, Taehyung and Jungkook told me about them doing no nut November and made fun of me, telling me I could never last that long
They said I couldn't last a day, joked about how much I needed sex, needed to cum all the time, commenting on how I'm always touching her and taking her away from whatever we're doing to fuck her
I mean she's my wife, she's fucking hot and I want her so no shit I'm gonna fuck my girl
They just wouldn't let it go, I got pissed and agreed to bet them that I could last the whole month
I don't know why I did it
It shouldn't matter but I wanted to prove that I could do it
Needless to say when she was not happy when I told her about it
I told her I couldn't have sex with her but I'd still go down on her and finger her
I know it's not enough for her
We went from sex everyday to none
I know she's frustrated
I am too
It's been twenty days of it and I'm so fucking horny
Anything turns me on, makes me hard
Even if she sits on me and not moves it makes me hard
But I lasted this long, I can last longer
"That shit is something you do if your single like those other idiots. Not if you're married or are with someone! You're neglecting me!"
I raise my eyebrow, "I don't know if that's neglect exactly..."
She glares at me and I shut my mouth
She drops her arms from around my neck, looking away and starting to get off me
I tighten my arms around her, not wanting her to leave, especially not upset
"What can I do to make you feel better baby?", I ask her
She shakes her head, "Nothing Joonie. I just want you"
"C'mon baby", I say softly, running my fingers in her hair, pushing it over her shoulder, "Wanna make you feel good baby"
She looks back up at me, hesitating
"Tell me what you want baby"
"Wanna....let me sit on your cock"
I suck in a breath, "Baby I don't know-"
"I won't bounce Joonie. I won't fuck you", she says quickly, "I just want to feel you inside me. Wanna be full of you"
Fuck me, I want that too, my cock throbbing at the thought of being in her tight pussy again
"Please Joonie"
I don't know how it's gonna work, how I'm going to actually get inside her without coming
But I'm gonna try
I can do this
Cockwarming is ok...it hasn't made me cum before so it's fine
"Yeah baby, ok"
"Ok", she nods
She stands, tugging on my PJ pants and boxers, pulling them down and off, my cock so hard, straining and leaking
I reach for her, bending down, kissing her lower stomach, as I move my fingers in her PJ pants, dropping them down to her feet
She steps out of them as I pull her closer, slipping her panties down next
Once they're off, I kiss lower, murmuring, "Just let me taste you baby"
"Yeah Joonie"
Lifting her up, I put her on my desk, sliding my chair closer
Opening her legs, I bite my lip, seeing how wet she is, her juice dripping down her cunt onto my desk
Fuck
Leaning down, I lay my tongue on her and lick up, her sweet taste hitting me, making me moan
Her cunt is so soft, her swollen lips spreading for me as I drag my tongue between them
"Joonie", she whimpers, her fingers in my hair already
I run my tongue up and down her pussy, dipping into her hole, feeling her cunt tighten around it
Fuck, so tight, how am I gonna have her around my dick and not cum?
Fucking into her pussy, she clenches my tongue with each thrust, pleasure rolling down my body right to my hard cock
I push her legs open wider, burying my face in her cunt, swirling my tongue around her little hole before slipping in
Wiggling my tongue in her cunt, I pull out, swallow her juice then keep going
"Namjoon", she moans, her free hand gripping my upper arm tightly
Using the tip of my tongue, I flick her clit, a loud groan coming from her
Licking her clit over and over, it throbs against my tongue, turning me on so much
"Joonie, more", she whimpers
Sucking her clit into my mouth, I tug and play with her, her legs shaking around my head
Her hips start to move, fucking into my face as I suck hard, desperately on her tiny clit
I don't know what it is but once her clit is in my mouth, I can't get enough of it
I have to go hard, it's my favorite thing to suck on her body
It makes her so wet, dripping all over my face, it sliding down my neck, drowning me
And I don't want to be anywhere else
"Namjoon. Namjoon", she calls, coming against my face
I sped up the movement of my mouth, sucking her through her orgasm as she yells my name, her body shaking on top of my desk
As soon as she finishes, my tongue is by her hole, licking up her sweet cum, moaning into her cunt, making sure I get it all
"Joonie", she whimpers, tugging on my hair
I pull back, her eyes looking at me with lust and fuck, I want her
Moving my hands to her thigh, I pull her down, off the table and right onto my lap
"Can I?", she asks softly and I nod, holding my dick up for her
Her lips crash against mine, as she takes my head in and slowly pushes down
Her incredibly tight cunt splits open around me, pulsing hard already, sucking me in as she takes more and more of me
Pleasure crashes over me, it's so much more intense than normal
Her pussy waters my cock, my lap already soaked and I'm not even all inside her yet
I can't...it's so much, my cock throbbing fast at finally feeling her around me again
"Baby stop, I can't...I'm..
"No Joonie. I'm almost down", she pleads, my hands stopping her
"Second...one....se...", I trail off, squeezing my eyes tightly closed, getting control over myself and my dick
Think of something else
The songs I have to do
Melodies I have to fix, lyrics I have to tweak
It calms me down enough to keep her on me
"You...can keep going baby", I tell her
"Help me all the way down baby", she whimpers
I push her down on the rest of my cock, impaling her tiny pussy as I bottom out
"Oh fuck", I moan, her walls clenching around me so tightly, so pleasurably
"Joonie", she moans, "Feels so good Joonie. Fuck, I missed you so much"
"I missed you too baby", I whisper, sitting back in the chair, pulling her against me
Her head lays on my shoulder, her face against my neck
I hold her, running my fingers up and down her back, feeling her skin shiver against my touch
I smile, kissing the top of her head
Her pussy clenches around my length continuously, keeping a steady burst of pleasure running through my body, my cock throbbing every time she clenches
I can't help it, it just happens
We sit for a good few minutes this way
Then she starts squirming, her hips grinding down on me
More bliss hits me quickly as her pussy pulses gets faster the more she moves
"Baby", I gasp, my fingers digging into her hips, my brain turning off, "Sss...st...baby"
"Feels so good baby", she whines, her hips moving faster, cunt throbbing hard, gushing juice on my legs, "Wanna cum on your cock"
Fuck, I don't ..I don't think I can handle that
The pleasure from that....it'll make me cum
I can't
"Baby", I say louder, stopping her from moving, "I...too much..."
"Please Namjoon. I need to cum on your cock. I need to. I'm going crazy baby", she cries, tears welling in her eyes
I know how she feels, the frustration of the pleasure just stopping
It's driving me crazy too
"Just once Joonie. I'll get off you as soon as I finish ok, so you don't cum", she begs, "I promise I'll leave you alone for the rest of the month. I just need it. I need you"
I want to give her what she wants, I do
I just don't know if I can handle feeling her orgasm
The ecstacy from that is so fucking mind blowing and it's what I look forward to when we have sex
Just feeling her cum over and over
I'm addicted to her orgasms
And I'm worried that feeling even just one will throw me over the edge while I'm in this state
But as I look at her, my loving, supporting, beautiful wife, I can't deny her
She's right that I just sprung this on her without even talking to her about it
And she's dealt with it for all these days
She just can't take it anymore
She just wants me and I can't fault her for wanting to have sex with her husband
I'll deal with it, push back any feeling of coming to let her
"Ok baby", I nod, relief blooming in her eyes, "Just...don't bounce or grind ok? I'll make you cum"
She raises her eyebrow but nods, "Ok"
I kiss her lips softly, the feel of them on mine one of the best feelings in the world
"Turn around baby", I tell her after the kiss ends
I help her off me, turning her and pulling her back on my lap, her back against my chest
"Open your pretty legs for me", I ask and she spreads them so wide
Aligning my cock to her hole, I shove her down my length in one go this time instead of dragging it out
"Oh fuck", she moans, her pussy keeping a tight grip on my cock
Snaking my arm around her waist, I move my hand down, pressing my fingers to her swollen clit
I move my fingers in a circle, her loud cries of pleasure so pretty
I tilt her head back on my shoulder, pressing kisses to her neck as I play with her clit
She floods my cock even more, her cunt already throbbing harshly
"Mmm baby, my pussy feels so good", I praise her, "So tight baby girl. So fucking wet for me"
She nods, moaning, her eyes closed, her body shaking against me
"My cock feels good baby?"
"So good Joonie", she cries
I move my free hand around her boob, squeezing while pinching her nipples at the same time
"Joonie!", she cries, more juice leaking from her, "Oh fuck, don't stop...oh fuck your cock is so good baby"
I smirk against her skin, rubbing her clit faster, falling into the incredible feeling of her tight cunt spasming pleasurably around my cock
Her hands are on the chair's arm rests gripping it so hard her fingers are white
Her legs shake around mine, her hips beginning to move in a circle, grinding her spot on my cock head
I look down at her pretty body on me, her boob squished in my hand, sweat dripping down between her boobs, her hips moving hypnotically against my hand
God, fuck, my wife is so fucking hot
"Missed your cock so much Joonie", she whines, "Why did you take you away from me?"
I really don't fucking know
The agreement seems so fucking stupid right now
"Missed you too baby", I murmur, feeling how close she is, "Missed this tight cunt wrapped around me. Fuck, cum for me baby"
"Namjoon!", she cries at the next rub of her clit, her body shaking uncontrollably as she cums around my cock
I push up into her, the pure ecstasy from her orgasming pussy blinding me as we both yell
Oh my god, fuck me
God, I miss this
Fuck, it's so good, the fucking throbbing... fuck
"Namjoon! Baby!", she murmurs in my ear, her head back on my shoulder, eyes closed, pleasure all over her beautiful face
I move my gaze back down, watching her skin tremble as she cums, pleasure running through my entire body
And I say fuck it
Holding onto her, I stand up then bend her over my desk
Wrapping my arms around her waist, I pull my cock almost all the way out of her pretty pussy then thrust back in hard, bottoming out in one move
"Fuck!", I shout, the pleasure spiking and I just go feral
I thrust into her as hard as I can, desperate to feel her cunt suck my cock inside her, desperate to feel the pleasure I've denied myself for twenty fucking days
"Fuck baby", I whine, pounding into her, splitting her on my dick, "Feels so good. Fucking god, I was so stupid baby. So stupid to give you up for this long"
She moans, holding onto the equipment on my desk hard as she takes the pounding I'm giving her
I watch her tiny hole spread and strain around my cock, her cunt flooding my cock with so much cream it's dripping to the floor
Beautiful sight
Every stroke has my head hitting her spot, a yelp of pleasure coming from her pretty mouth
I'm in so much pleasure, my body shaking from it, making my brain turn off
Her cunt is impossibly tight, more than she's ever been, throbbing like crazy
"Cum for me baby", I beg, "I need to feel it. Please baby"
I crave that bliss
"Namjoon! I'm coming! Baby! Fuck!", she cries as she climaxes, pussy cream gushing from her hole, making a huge mess on my dick
"Yes baby!", I cry, shoving my cock inside her, letting the mind blowing pleasure washing over me
I feel like I'm gonna cum but I push it back with great difficulty
I'm not done fucking her yet
When she finishes, I pull out, flip her on her back, pull her to the edge and plunge my cock back into her pulsing cunt
"Joonie", she whimpers, her body arching beautifully
I keep my eyes on her beautiful face in so much pleasure as I fuck the life from her
"Baby", I whisper, sliding my hands up her body slowly, her soft skin trembling under my fingers, making me smile
My hands get to her big boobs, wrapping around them and holding on as I thrust my length into her welcoming cunt
Her hands move around my wrists, holding on, her legs wrapping tighter around me
I'm so close, her pussy feeling so fucking amazing and tight but I need her orgasm to get off
She gets closer with every thrust and I'm anxiously waiting for her
"Nnnn...Namjoon", she yells, her body shaking against the desk, her cunt tightening pleasurably around me, "Baby"
"Yes baby. Gimme baby. Fuck, want you to cum all over my cock", I urge her, "Please baby"
"Namjoon!", she yells, her pussy squirting around my cock and everywhere as she cums
Phenomenal ecstasy crashes into me as I scream her name, sheathing my cock inside her and coming the hardest I ever have in my life
"Namjoon! Yes baby!", she shouts, her pussy milking my cock as I shoot cum deep into her
My head is in the clouds, nothing but pleasure in my mind, my body
She whimpers my name over and over as we ride out the pleasure, gripping each other tightly
When I come back to my senses, I look down to pull out and I'm shocked to see how much I came
It's literally pouring out from around us and all over my desk
Jesus
Pulling out, her cunt gushes more but I don't care
I can clean it later
Picking her up, I sit back down in my chair with her on my lap, cuddling her and giving her kisses anywhere I can
"I love you Jo"
"I love you Joonie", she says tiredly, her arms moving around me to hold me close
I run my fingers in her hair as she lays her head on my shoulder
"You lost the bet", she says softly
"Worth it", I answer, kissing her forehead, "I'm sorry for taking the bet baby. It was stupid to deny both of us that"
"It's ok Joonie. Just don't do something like that without talking to me first"
"I won't", I promise, "I'm never taking a dumb bet like that again"
I'm never denying myself from being with my wife again
The guys can talk all they want, make fun of me all they want
I don't care
I have nothing to prove nor do I care to
Not anymore
She giggles, "Forgot how much you like sex?"
I didn't but I wasn't thinking about it
I was forcing it out of my mind
"Kind of. But you just reminded me", I smirk, moving my hips up, pressing my hard dick against her
"Again Joonie?", she laughs
I nod, smiling, "Yeah baby. Gotta make up for the past twenty days"
"All in one day?"
"Oh hell yes", I answer, standing up and carrying her to our room, "I'm so horny baby and I'm gonna fuck you all day and night. You're gonna be so sore tomorrow"
"Well you're lucky I'm just as horny as you are", she teases
I laugh, throwing her on the bed, then climbing on top of her, getting her legs around me
I move my fingers in her hair, looking down at her beautiful face
I love her so much it's insane
"I am lucky Jo. I have you", I answer, smiling at her
She blushes, her arms moving around my neck, "I'm lucky too baby. I love you Namjoon"
"I love you Jo"
She pulls me down for a sweet kiss that I fall into
When it's over, she smirks at me, "Now, fuck me baby"
"Your wish is my command baby", I smirk back, then bury my length inside her, her moan music to my ears, the start to a beautiful night
#namjoon fanfic#namjoon smut#bts namjoon smut#kim namjoon smut#kim namjoon fanfic#bts namjoon fanfic#rm smut#bts rm smut#rm fanfic#bts rm fanfic#bts fanfic#bts smut
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Moving On (Namjoon x OC)
Summary: BTS performs in Amsterdam and Namjoon invites you to the afterparty.
Pairing: Namjoon x OC
Genre: Angst, smut
Word count: 8.2K
Rating: 18+
Warnings: language, angst, sex, nudity, making out, fingering, cumming, arguing,
A/N: Takes place a little over a month after Final Destination.
Tagging: @bbl32, @quarter-life-crisis2, @margopinkerton, @faearchives, @whoisbts, @purpleseoul7, @sumzysworld, @kflixnet (if you want to be added to the taglist, lmk)
Listen to: "where does the good go" by tegan and sara
namjoon masterlist | main masterlist
Joon [13:45]
Did you get the email from Big Hit?
Kaya [13:50]
Yes
Joon [13:51]
The number at the end is their London office. They’ve been briefed already and have additional security available for all European locations.
Kaya [13:54]
Okay
There’s a break in the chat here. Kaya stares at the time stamp, trying to picture him scrambling to find something else to say.
Joon [14:15]
The company managed to track down the account that uploaded the video. Account has been taken down and they’ve sued for invasion of privacy.
Kaya [14:20]
Okay
Joon [14:22]
They’ve also offered to add damages to the suit, in case we want that. Do you?
Kaya [14:25]
Not really
Joon [14:26]
Okay then
Another break. Kaya scans the time stamps again, even though she’s memorised it by now. She remembers the three dots indicating him typing, seeing them appear and disappear over and over again.
Joon [14:40]
How are you?
Kaya [14:45]
Fine
Joon [14:46]
How‘s work?
Kaya [14:48]
Fine
Joon [14:50]
Kaya
I’m trying
Kaya [14:51]
Class starting, got to go
He hadn’t responded and she hadn’t expected him to. Four days post break-up hadn’t been nearly long enough for her to let go of her anger but now, four weeks in, it’s only been replaced with an equal amount of sadness and longing.
Every conversation has been exactly this terse and abrupt, the last one being a week ago. It had appeared when she’d been teaching an elective class and it had taken every ounce of her will to not check it until the class ended. As it turned out, she couldn’t even think of a decent response to it.
“How can he possibly think of asking me this?” Kaya mutters, earphones in as she walks home. It’s dusk, a gorgeous time of the day, but she holds no appreciation for it right now.
“Wouldn’t it be worse if he didn’t ask?” Dilara asks reasonably. She’s in her car by the sound of it, a low hum audible of whichever fancy car of hers she’s decided to take out today.
Kaya swallows, pondering this. It might be, but it doesn’t address the problem she’s too embarrassed to voice out loud: it should be harder for him to ask. The thought that he might not be taking this break-up as hard as she is kills something inside of her, as if she’d misunderstood everything in the last three years.
Her strategy to save herself from hearing the truth had been to distance herself from everyone, including Yoongi, who had texted her out of the blue one day to ask her if she was okay (she hadn’t responded); Seokjin, who seemed to skirt the topic altogether and sounded as though he was speaking to someone very sick; and especially Dilara, who Kaya knew would be the only one with the capacity to ask insightful questions that she herself was too afraid to.
“It’s just… strange,” is all she can manage. “He hopped on a flight, shot a few emails, came over and broke up with me and then went right back to his schedule, all in one day. And now he's inviting me to a party?"
“After-party, so it won’t be, like… crazy,” Dilara clarifies. “And the concert before it.”
“I’m definitely not going to his concert.”
“Of course not,” she agrees breezily. “I wouldn’t expect you to. But the party… I mean, it’s a good thing, isn’t it? He doesn’t want you to be strangers.”
Kaya slows down as she approaches the river. She’s taken the long route home today - anything to prolong the commute before another night in her tainted apartment with memories on every surface.
“I don’t know if I want to see him.” I don’t know if I can. “He wants to see me, though, apparently,” she states after a moment.
Dilara doesn’t say anything for a few seconds. “I mean -“ She begins before pausing, then trying again. “I’m sure it’s going to be torture for him to see you. But even that’s better than not seeing you.”
Kaya doesn’t even realise she’d been holding her breath; she exhales as slowly as possible so as to not make a sound, both at Dilara’s words as well as her answering the unasked question.
She doesn’t respond immediately, though. Now that they’re down this route of addressing concerns she’s been harbouring in her heart for weeks, Kaya feels the rest of them on the verge of tumbling out of her mouth.
"You've seen him a bit these last couple of months,” she ventures, lowering her voice and leaning backwards against the railing overlooking the river. “Does it seem like he misses me at all?"
Dilara hums, a little too knowingly for Kaya’s liking. “Of course, he does. He’s not the most expressive when it comes to his feelings but aside from Tae last year, I don't think I've met a more miserable person."
Kaya waits for the swell of happiness or relief at this news, but all it brings with it is a new wave of anger and frustration.
“Thanks.”
"Look, speaking from experience, it's not easy seeing your ex after a difficult break-up,” says Dilara, sighing. “But sometimes you don't realise just how much you needed to see them until you see them, even if it's just to gain some closure."
Closure. It sounds… final. Kaya can’t picture it, being virtual strangers eventually, just bits of each other’s past. Ex-boyfriend, girl of his dreams, the one that got away. She hates all those words because they just don’t apply, not really. They can’t.
She closes her eyes and presses the heel of her palms into them to intercept the wetness forming, not caring that Dilara is still on the other end of the line. She and Namjoon had stood right here, years ago, living in the bliss of a new couple in fresh love. He’d brought her a bunch of tiny yellow flowers from the park, part-cheesy and part-genuine, eyes twinkling and dimples soft.
Kaya squeezes her eyes shut at the memory, terrified at how the edges of it are already blurring.
“I don’t think I’ll go,” she murmurs, opening her eyes to stare at the ground. “I can’t.”
“Are you sure?” Dilara sounds slightly surprised.
“Yeah. Two days from now is… it’s too soon. I’ll either cry or yell or… I don’t know. It’s too hard.”
“Oh.” She’s quiet for a few seconds. “Okay. If you’re sure. Let me know if you want to get together on Sunday,” she adds. “Brunch or something.”
“Yeah, sure. Thanks.”
—
The next day, Kaya is in the library again, grading papers and wishing she could go back to being a grad student who’s biggest problem was a pop quiz. She’s deliberately chosen a table at the back, away from where the students generally sit, which is why she looks up in surprise when someone comes to her table.
“H-hi, Kaya.” The student waves rests one hand on the back of an empty hair and waves hesitantly with the other.
“Um… hi.” Kaya tries not to frown too conspicuously, for she’s sure she knows this girl.
Svetlana. Savannah.
“Elena, right?”
“Yeah,” she answers with a nervous smile. “Um… are you busy?”
Kaya glances at the stacks of papers, books and laptop on the table. “Kind of, yeah.”
“Okay. Well… I just wanted to say hi.”
Kaya nods awkwardly and forces a small smile on her face. “Hi.”
Elena nods, tucking her hair behind her ears. She looks like she’s about to leave but at the last moment, sits down at the table. Kaya feels her smile fade for she really, really wants to be alone right now.
“How - how are things going?” She sounds nervous - extremely so. She seems to be fidgeting slightly and constantly touching her hair.
“Great,” says Kaya shortly, going back to her paper and hoping she’ll take the hint. “You?”
“Not bad, overall. I guess. Classes are hard and mid-terms are coming up as well…” Elena trails off. “Any plans for the weekend?”
Trying not to sigh, Kaya shakes her head. “Not really. You?”
“Well… I’m going to a concert tomorrow,” she answers hurriedly, and it’s clear that she’s been waiting to divulge this information, oblivious to how Kaya’s heart stops. “It should be fun. Do - do you listen to BTS?”
An unexpected notification from this morning floats into her kind. BTS continues their Europe leg by arriving in Amsterdam, ready to kick off the summer in style!
“No,” she answers truthfully.
“Oh.” Elena is quiet for a moment. “They’re really… good.”
There’s some awkward silence during which Kaya deliberately writes comments on the paper she’s grading, scratching the pen on the paper and wishing Elena would leave.
“It’ll be good to get out of campus. The people here are kind of intimidating. The parties are pretty wild, too,” she murmurs after a moment, sounding uncomfortable.
Kaya nods absently, uncharacteristically satisfied with the knowledge that she might be intimidating this unwanted guest. “Maybe you’re going to the wrong parties,” she offers.
Elena lets out a nervous laugh again. “Maybe. I never see you at them, though. There’s one, tonight, in the common room. Maybe you could come,” she suggests lightly. “Bring a friend or - or your boyfriend.”
“I don’t have a boyfriend,” she answers flatly, not looking up.
“You - oh.” There’s a note of surprise in her voice. “Oh,” she repeats, this time seemingly to herself. “Are you sure?” she blurts out.
Kaya’s eyes snap up to glare at her. “Pretty sure.”
Elena’s eyes widen. “Oh, of - of course,” she stutters. “Sorry, that - that was a stupid question. Sorry.” She swallows and looks at her lap.
Kaya closes her eyes and takes a deep breath, immediately feeling guilty for snapping at an innocent bystander in this situation. “Elena, I… I really need to get these papers done,” she tells her, her voice one of forced calm. “So…”
The blonde finally seems to understand and awkwardly stands up. “Okay. Um, see you around,” she says, tucking her hair behind her ear again.
Kaya nods as she leaves, Namjoon’s invitation swimming in her mind tantalisingly. She can’t ignore it anymore, the fact that they’re in the same city, her city. If she’s not wrong, he’ll do the concert tomorrow night, the group will probably stay the night and depart by Sunday afternoon or evening and she will probably never see him again.
She attempts to continue grading the paper she was working on when Elena interrupted, but when she finds herself reading the same stupid sentence for the fourth time without retaining anything, she begins packing up, ready to head home.
—
Joon [18:42]
Hope to see you there tonight
Kaya, with a loss as to how to respond to this, simply did not. She can’t imagine he would be texting her during his concert, but she also knows he has before, if the situation was urgent enough to demand it.
She straightens the black dress against her hips and tilts her head at her reflection. It’s a simple dress, plain black, form-fitting and reaching below her knees, but it’s quite possibly the most gorgeous, sexiest dress she owns.
If she and Namjoon were together, she would have worn it tonight with no hesitation because it would have driven him insane. After weeks of being apart, seeing her in this dress would have rendered him incapable of staying in work mode without dirty texts, flirty touches and eyes from across the room undressing her. Even now, with a bare face, her hair tied into a loose bun and no footwear, the dress is a game-changer.
She gives herself a few moments to imagine this paradise, one that might have come true tonight had she never told him about the break-in. Then, she silently unzips the dress and climbs out of the black fabric pooled around her feet. Tucking it back into her closet, she looks for something else.
Dilara [18:50]
In case you change your mind, sharing the location here
[Location]
Dilara’s text had come minutes after Namjoon’s, and Kaya has to imagine it was a genuine coincidence. Although she’d replied to neither, it was the second text that caused her to change her mind - that, and the lingering fear that if she didn’t go today, she didn’t know how either of them would be able to maneuver a situation to see each other again.
The concert should end in a little over an hour. Her phone pings again and she groans, for she doesn’t think she can take any more of their unsubtle attempts at convincing her to go tonight. It’s not Namjoon or Dilara, though, but Adam Fischer, her thirty-something thesis advisor, asking if she wants to discuss the coming week’s class schedule tonight.
Kaya shakes her head as she types out a reply (Sorry, I can’t tonight. Will set up a meeting for first thing Monday if that’s okay?), a little rueful. Namjoon heavily disliked Adam, despite having no concrete reason for doing so. He’d always suspected Adam of having feelings for her, even though Adam hadn’t said or done anything to make her think he might. Part of her wonders if she could somehow ditch the party for this meeting and still make sure that the news travelled to Namjoon through the grapevine (Dilara), and if that would still piss him off even now.
She immediately cringes at the pettiness of it, however, sending her reply to Adam and heading into the shower.
The party is at the rooftop restaurant of the hotel next to the concert venue, and presumably where BTS is staying while in Amsterdam. It isn’t as crowded as she was anticipating, although the music is fairly loud. It looks more like a fancy houseparty, and even a few seconds in, Kaya can spot a handful of vaguely famous people in attendance. She looks around for a familiar face, preferably Dilara or Yoongi or one of the younger boys, wishing she’d called ahead and trying not to think about the fact that in spite of not RSVP-ing, her name was on the guest list.
She takes another hesitant step in and audibly sighs when she spots Taehyung, who, for reasons best known to himself, has accessorised his outfit with an ascot. He seems to be in an animated conversation with Jungkook, while standing in between them and facing ahead, with loose curls tumbling down her shoulders and looking slightly bored, is…
“Kaya!”
Dilara’s mouth forms her name over the music as she brushes past her boyfriend and his friend and hurries towards Kaya, looking both happy and relieved to see her. “You look hot!” she exclaims when she reaches her.
“Oh -” Kaya looks down self-consciously; she’d settled for a straight strapless top and jeans, unable to justify dressing sexier without seeming like she was trying too hard for her ex-boyfriend. “Thanks. And you look…” She frowns slightly at Dilara’s mini-dress and go-go boots, with a slightly out-of-place gold ring hanging around her neck. “... like Daphne Blake.”
Dilara’s face visibly falls. “I look like a cartoon character?” she asks, wrinkling her nose.
“Well, a very pretty cartoon character,” she adds quickly. “Especially with the headband. But… why?”
She rolls her eyes. “Taehyung picked it - but I’m sure it’s not because of Daphne Blake.” Spotting Kaya’s confused expression, she shrugs sheepishly. “We got into an argument yesterday about who has better taste, so we decided to go shopping at The Nine Streets and pick each other’s outfits for tonight.”
Kaya raises her eyebrows, something seemingly clicking into place. “So the ascot is your doing?”
“M-hm.” She nods in satisfaction before her eyes widen. “Oh, hey! An ascot - like Fred!” She lets out a low whistle at this realisation and laughs, while Kaya nods knowingly, feeling the urge to smile for the first time in what feels like weeks. “Not planned but zero regrets. I wonder if Tae knows that - oh.”
Kaya cuts her off mid-sentence with a hug, suddenly immensely grateful for Dilara. She can’t remember the last time she’d let anyone into her life this much with the exception of Namjoon; but just maybe, when she’d been happy with him and her guard had been lowered, Dilara had slipped in without warning as well.
She tightens her arms around Kaya and rubs her back. “It’s good to see you, too,” she says, sounding part-surprised and part-delighted. “It’s been a while but I promise that we will still - oh, hey.” The change in tone is abrupt. “Incoming.”
By the way her voice immediately lowers, Kaya is sure she knows what Dilara is referring to. Her heart beating a mile a minute, she pulls away from the hug and turns as casually as she can.
Her first thought is that he looks thinner - visibly so. Well, he’s on tour, says a voice in her head but Kaya suspects that’s not the only reason, for he’d been on tour when he’d broken up with her as well.
His hair is a silvery blond, looking almost metallic; dressed simply in a black T-shirt and jeans, he runs a hand through his hair so it falls gracefully around his face as he approaches her, his face unreadable.
“Hi,” he says, and it sounds like all the breath has been let out of him with just one word. He swallows and straightens his shoulders, a small smile appearing on his face, the dimple faintly visible. “It’s good to see you, Kaya.”
Kaya nods, unable to speak and overcome with a sudden urge to cry. “You, too,” she murmurs, glancing at the floor and blinking rapidly before looking back up at him, a bit defiantly.
“I’m glad you decided to come.”
She nods again, her chest twisting at how normal he sounds. He’s standing far away from her as well, as though to make it clear in every way possible that they’re not together.
“Hope you had a good concert,” she ventures, recalling the grad student who’d accosted her yesterday, practically beside herself at attending a BTS concert. “Backstage must have been hectic.”
A flicker of something appears in his eyes for a moment, possibly with memories of backstage. Wishes of luck, last minute hugs, sweaty and passionate kisses fueled by adrenaline. But it disappears instantly and Kaya wonders if she imagined it.
“It was,” he answers, nodding. He slides his hands into his pockets smoothly, leaning back on his heels and his smile widening a little. “But worth it as always. The crew did well.”
Kaya doesn’t even bother nodding this time; all of a sudden, she regrets coming here tonight. Dilara has left, she just realises, and Namjoon is acting like they’re acquaintances at best, making her feel stupid and yet immensely grateful that she didn’t wear the sexy black dress.
At that moment, his eyes flicker to something behind her. “I’m sorry, I just need to go and say hi to a couple of people. But enjoy your night. It’s an open bar,” he adds, smiling and nodding politely before brushing past her and walking away.
Kaya doesn’t move; she doesn’t think she can. Something heavy feels like it’s settled on her chest, the weight of confusion, disbelief and crushing disappointment threatening to suffocate her. She has no idea what she’d been expecting; maybe arguing, fighting, crying together again - but not him not caring. Not this.
Namjoon continues walking in the opposite direction for as long as he can keep Kaya in his peripheral vision, both guilty and relieved when she doesn’t turn around. He doesn’t think he can look her in the eye if she does, witness the pain and hurt in her face that close.
He catches Seokjin’s eye and hurries over to him. Seokjin raises his eyebrows and seems to guess what might have transpired, ushering him over to the other end of the circular bar and out of Kaya’s line of sight.
“How did it go?”
Namjoon rests his palms on the bar and shakes his head, no words coming to him at the moment and feeling like he could throw up. He can’t fathom how he did it, how he stood there before her and didn’t immediately pull her to him, or break down and ask her to forgive him for doing the only thing he knew to do.
“Drink this.” Seokjin slides a glass to him and Namjoon takes it without hesitation, taking a huge gulp and waiting for it to sting his sinuses.
“This is water,” he states hoarsely, frowning at the glass.
“Cold water,” corrects Seokjin. “It’ll help clear your head.”
Namjoon takes another sip and places the glass down, dropping his head into his hands. “I can’t do this. How do I tell her I can’t do this? How do I ask her to -“ But he breaks off here, his mind swimming with the sight of her bare shoulders and exposed collarbones, imagining how they would feel if he held her.
“Okay.” Seokjin exhales through his nose and pauses. “Look, I have to ask. You’ve seen the state she is in. And you’re…” He struggles for a moment “...like this. Are you absolutely sure you don’t want to ask her to get back -“
“No.” The answer is instant, although it’s partly a habit by now. As he does every time his mind tries to convince him otherwise, Namjoon forces the memory of her phone call to the forefront of his mind, the fear in her voice and devastation on her face when he’d entered her apartment.
“But maybe this is -“
“No.”
Seokjin is silent and Namjoon can tell that he doesn’t approve. Please don’t ask me again, hyung. He doesn’t know if he did the right thing by inviting her but he couldn’t imagine not doing it either, not being right here in her city, knowing she was so close that he could almost smell the coconut and vanilla in the air and still not see her in the flesh.
“If you’re sure,” says Seokjin at last. “If you are, then I guess you did well. Just… just be normal around her. Keep a normal distance, talk about normal things and…” He half-shrugs, sounding uncertain. “She’s smart. She’ll understand. If you’re sure you want to do this, then… she’ll get it.”
Normal. Namjoon knows what he means, but he wants to tell him that none of this is normal. Not touching her, not being honest with her, not being with her - none of it is normal.
“She’s talking to Yoongi right now,” he adds, and Namjoon turns to see them near the stairs to the top floor. Kaya’s back is to him, her head lowered slightly and her thumbs hooked onto the back pockets of her jeans, the material hugging her hips and curving down her backside… He swallows and looks away.
“This is your chance,” says Seokjin. “Go and mingle. Let her see you moving on - even if you actually aren’t,” he clarifies quickly. “It won’t be pleasant but it might encourage her to do the same.”
Namjoon isn’t sure of the wisdom of this strategy but ever since the cause of his break-up had been revealed to the older members (and surely to Taehyung at least, by Dilara), he’d almost been relieved that he wouldn’t have to make every decision on his own.
He tries his best to navigate the party after that, making empty conversation with guests, using every bit of remaining energy and willpower to plaster a smile on his face. All the while, part of his attention is constantly on Kaya, registering her familiar figure alone at the bar as she nurses a beer, sometimes with Dilara.
Be normal. Seokjin’s words start holding less and less meaning with every passing minute, especially when he spots Kaya having finished her drink and he’s struck with the sudden fear that she will leave the party. In an effort to be as normal as he can, Namjoon heads over to the bar where she’s scanning the life-size menu half-heartedly, arms folded across her chest.
“Like anything?” he asks humbly. Long Island Iced Tea or a Mai Tai - depends on the flavours. His heart jolts when she shoots him a doubtful look and doesn’t answer, almost as if she’s wary of talking to him. She leans over the bar and gives the bartender a smile that makes his heart drop, especially when he grins back.
“Komt de mai tai in mango?” she asks, half-pouting when he shakes his head. “Een biertje, alsjeblieft,” she says finally, taking her second beer and turning away from the bar.
Namjoon doesn’t remember ever feeling this distant from her. “I’m glad you came tonight,” he tries again, choosing to look at her even though she’s facing away.
Kaya nods, pursing her lips and looking ahead. “Yeah, you said that already.” But her voice trembles ever so slightly, or maybe he just knows her so well that he’s sure it’s not a case of her not wanting to look at him - she can’t look at him.
It’s all on him now. He started this; if there is any hope of them still staying in each other’s lives, it’s down to him to make it happen.
“How’s your dissertation going?” he asks, hoping her work is a topic she might open up on.
She shrugs after a moment. “Off schedule,” she answers shortly. “A lot of variables hanging in the air.”
“Did you get into the research project you’d applied for?”
It’s momentary but it appears: the corner of her mouth tilts upwards. “Yeah,” she admits, finally looking at him, albeit hesitantly. “Guess I’ll have a lot more time to focus on it now,” she murmurs, the hint of a smile fading.
Namjoon’s heart sinks. She’s so angry with him; it’s palpable and not something he has ever been on the receiving end of. Her hand hangs by her side; his own itches to link his fingers with his, maybe tug her to him or lead her out of this stupid party where he can plead for her to just look at him.
“Well,” he says, then pauses. “I’m glad you could get the time off tonight. Must have been hard.”
“M-hm, not really.” She shakes her head. “Adam wanted to meet but I’ll probably catch up with him later,” she adds nonchalantly.
Namjoon nods, his hand tightening around his glass. He can’t tell if she’s trying to provoke him, for they do work closely; close enough that Adam’s intentions have always been a point of disagreement for them. He’d never been able to explain to her just how much he hated the way her advisor looked at her when she didn’t notice, how his hugs always lingered a moment too long or how he insisted on calling her late in the evenings to discuss work.
He’s distracted momentarily by Jungkook, who approaches them while bopping effortlessly to the music and stops in between them, turning to face in the same direction as Namjoon and Kaya. He’s definitely tipsy; the smile on his face is too big and he doesn’t seem to be reading the room at all.
“Dilara is a really good dancer, isn’t she?” he says loudly in English to no one in particular. Namjoon frowns and follows his gaze to see Dilara, Taehyung and Hoseok dancing, before turning back to look at Jungkook. On his other side, Kaya is also frowning at him, tilting her head curiously. Their eyes meet and she raises her eyebrows slightly.
Namjoon fights a smile as Kaya half-chuckles and looks away, his heart twisting with longing at how much he misses her. She looks so incredibly beautiful; his eyes sting when he realises that there’s absolutely nothing he can do about it.
“I’m gonna -“ He gestures vaguely and walks away in the opposite direction, desperate to be anywhere but around her before his resolve breaks.
The next half hour is a flurry of faces; Namjoon distracts himself with every single individual at the party, making small talk and exchanging unfunny jokes and hyper aware of Kaya occasionally glancing at him.
He knows, because he’s watching her, too, doing his best to make sure she doesn’t see him looking. He can’t even help it; it’s almost muscle memory at this point.
“Who are you looking at?” The woman he’s talking to asks him point-blank.
Namjoon flushes, realising he’d been staring at Kaya over her shoulder while she’d been speaking.
“No one,” he answers quickly. “Sorry.”
The twenty-something woman frowns curiously. “Are you sure? I’m not offended.”
“It’s… nothing.” He shakes his head and looks at the floor.
“Ex-girlfriend?”
Ex. Not trusting himself to speak, Namjoon nods.
“Hm.” She hums, somewhat sympathetically. “Bad break-up?”
“Pretty bad.”
“I’m sorry,” she says after a moment. “It’s never easy to be around an ex if it hasn’t ended well.”
“Yeah, well,” he says, desperate to change the topic. “All part of the process, right?”
“Right,” she says encouragingly. “Plus, once you’re past this phase, the one where you constantly want to die, you can begin the drink and eat and hook up as much as you want stage with no judgement.”
He chuckles politely, the prospect sounding horrendous. “Thanks. Feels good to laugh for real.”
She smiles wider and, before he knows it, leans forward and presses a kiss against his lips.
It takes Namjoon a couple of seconds of pure shock before he jumps backwards. “Whoa. What -“ His heart races uncomfortably. “What was that?”
“Sorry,” she says slowly, looking a little confused. “I thought… you wanted to make your ex jealous. Isn’t that where you were going with this?”
“No,” he clarifies immediately. “No. Absolutely not. I don’t want to - no.” In the midst of his minor crisis, he notes how the woman looks almost mortified.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to -”
“It’s fine,” he cuts her off, suddenly feeling horribly guilty. He looks up out of habit and sees, unmistakably, Kaya leaving the restaurant, her long dark hair and the shimmery dark blue of her top disappearing out the door.
—
The night has gotten chillier in the last couple of hours and the cool wind hits her bare shoulders the moment she steps out, but Kaya barely feels it. She’s not thinking right now; thinking is what’s got them here, thinking about everything and overthinking to the point of fleeing a restaurant.
“Kaya!”
Her feet increase their pace automatically the same time her stomach flips, but he’s taller and faster and he reaches her before she can even reach the elevator.
“Kaya,” he repeats hurriedly, reaching and grabbing her elbow. “Wait, please. I’m sorry -”
“Why did you even invite me here?” she asks, cutting him off and turning around to face him. She’s so tired; she didn’t think break-ups could be this exhausting. “You’ve barely said anything to me. Was it to show me in person how you’re moving on? Because if that’s the case, then… message received.”
Namjoon shakes his head immediately; he looks exhausted as well, and Kaya is once again struck by how much thinner he is, overcome with a mixture of empathy and frustration at him.
“That was not - I didn’t plan that,” he says, sighing. “I don’t even know who she is. She kissed me and it wasn’t… come on, does it look like I’m moving on?” he asks, raising his arms helplessly.
Kaya stares at him and then sighs, shaking her head. “Why did you invite me here?” she asks again, less defensive this time.
“Because I wanted to see you,” he says at once.
She stares at him. “Well, you’ve seen me,” she says, sniffing. “Can I go now?”
“Kaya…”
“What?”
Namjoon runs a hand through his hair, looking lost for words. “Please don’t -“ He breaks off abruptly before taking a step closer to her, his height both large and comforting. “I don’t want you to be sad. I’m sorry.”
Too late. “You’re not supposed to care how I feel. Not anymore.”
He lets out a humourless chuckle. “What?”
“We’re over.” She can hear the tremble in her voice as she crosses her arms across her chest again. “You said it yourself. You’re not supposed to care how I feel.”
“Really?” He narrows his eyes at her. “You think this break-up had anything to do with how I feel about you? You know as I do that it didn’t.” When she doesn’t answer, he sighs. “I did this because I care.”
“If you say so.”
He pokes his tongue into his cheek. “Are you deliberately trying to provoke me or something?”
“Provoke you into what?” she blurts out. “What - what is that you want, exactly? What do you want us to do? Just circle around in each other’s orbits for the rest of our lives, while still being - while still feeling the way we do?” she asks, avoiding her almost-slip of tongue. “We’re just supposed to stay not be together and still stay in each other’s lives? What - what do you want?”
Namjoon opens his mouth but falls silent; it’s clear he hasn’t thought that far ahead - or he can’t say it out loud. “I want…” He begins, before pausing and starting again. “I want… you to be happy,” he says eventually. “And safe.”
She scoffs and he bristles.
“I’m serious. I -” He breaks off when someone exits the restaurant, his gaze following them until they’re out of sight before he turns back to her. “This is hard for me, too, you know? Why is it so hard for you to believe I might want you to be happy?”
Kaya exhales but doesn’t answer, because it isn’t hard to believe, not even a little bit. It’s unfortunately the most believable thing he’s ever said to her which means she can’t even fight it.
“How?” she asks finally. “By moving on, like you were pretending to do?”
Namjoon bites his lip and his eyes glaze over, and she knows he’s picturing it. His eyes fall to the floor but he nods slowly anyway. “Yeah, I guess. As long as I don’t have to watch it,” he adds in a mutter.
It’s really over. Kaya feels her eyes well up. “Fine,” she answers quietly. “If you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go find someone to move on with tonight.” She turns to leave but feels him stop her again. “What?” she snarls.
“Kaya, I -” The lift opens and a handful of people tumble out, holding merchandise and talking loudly. Namjoon’s eyes widen and he immediately grabs her arms and walks her back into a corner, just as the group turns into their corridor and towards the restaurant.
“What are you -”
But the second lift opens just then and they hear the sound of a second group of voices. Namjoon swears under his breath and pushes open a door behind her, walking her back further into the tiny dark room and letting the door swing shut behind him.
“What is wrong with -“
“It’s press,” he hisses, and she falls silent.
He peers out into the corridor through the small window in the door; there’s no light except for the bit through the window and from a skylight in the ceiling. Kaya can smell something vaguely citric that she decides is floor cleaner; they are in a janitor’s closet.
She and Namjoon are frozen in place, his hands still on her arms and hers on his torso to keep from losing her balance. It’s been a long time since they’ve been this close; it takes Kaya a few seconds to realise that the voices outside have disappeared, but he still hasn’t moved away.
Almost as if he’s subconsciously heard her, his thumbs stroke her arm once. The simple touch makes all the anger crumble away for a moment, especially now that it’s just them with the rest of the world shut outside. Kaya hesitates for a moment, then gently rests her forehead on his shoulder. Namjoon stiffens but a moment later, she feels his fingers tighten above her elbows, followed by him loosely enveloping her in his arms.
It seems cruel, almost, that the target of her anger and source of her comfort lie in the same person. It isn’t even a hug; it’s a moment of weakness at best, borne from his almost subconscious need to protect her. For the first time, Kaya wonders if she’s being unfair to him.
Resisting the temptation to wrap her arms around his waist, she steps away from him with difficulty, her back touching the wall. His arms fall from around her reluctantly, his expression resigned. It’s dark but she can see him more clearly than she has all night.
“This is a terrible idea,” she murmurs, echoing her words from a month ago. “The worst you’ve ever had.”
Namjoon exhales shakily but doesn’t argue. “I meant everything I said in that note,” he says, not even trying to hide the tremble in his voice anymore. “And I really do want you to be happy.”
The note. The one he’d kept on her bedside table when he’d left her apartment while she slept, the only thing of his that was left when she’d awoken, naked and alone. She’d only had the strength to read it once before she’d broken down and tucked it deep into her drawer, knowing the words would be etched in her memory.
“You know what will make me happy,” she whispers, looking at the ground. She feels him come closer to her, one hand hovering by her side as though unable to decide if she’d want her to touch him.
He finally rests it lightly on her waist, moving it slightly upward as she looks up at him, her heart twisting at how he’s unable to meet her eyes. She places her hands on his face, thinking vaguely how much she misses seeing his dimple.
“Joon,” she whispers, waiting for him to nod once. “Look at me.”
Namjoon visibly swallows, gaze still fallen. “Kaya, I…”
“No,” she interrupts him. “Look at me.”
With what seems like an enormous effort, he meets her eyes. This is hard for me too, you know?
She knows. Kaya strokes his cheekbones with her thumbs, her touch feather-light. “Kiss me,” she whispers. She touches her forehead to his and closes her eyes, hoping he’ll give in, for she can’t go further than this.
His hand tightens around her waist, pressing her into the wall. Their lips brush momentarily and he shivers.
“Do it,” she urges, her voice barely audible now. “Kiss me.”
She feels his lips before she even registers him moving against her and she leans into it, feeling like she can breathe for the first time in weeks. Come back to me, she thinks desperately. Come back to where you belong.
It’s like he can hear her. Namjoon pulls away, one hand on the wall beside her face for support, the other holding her.
“Fuck,” he whispers, and it sends a jolt of anticipation through her heart. “I love you, Kaya,” he adds, voice full of emotion. Kaya nods, unable to speak, wishing he would meet her eyes. He moves his hands to her face and touches his forehead to hers again, swallowing.
Look at me.
But he doesn’t. “But you have no idea,” he continues, every word sounding like it's costing him effort, “how I felt when you called me that night. The things that went through my mind…” He sniffs, and Kaya’s heart sinks. “I can’t let that happen again baby. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry…”
She can feel her face start to contort and she drops her hands from his shoulders, for she knows this part by heart. “Goodbye, Namjoon,” she mutters thickly, sliding out from between him and the wall. She pushes open the door and hurries out, leaving him behind.
—
When she hears the knock on her front door the next morning, Kaya is just about to step into the shower. She freezes and sighs, for she really, really needs this shower. She considers ignoring it but the knock sounds again and she groans, abandoning the activity of tying up her hair and letting it fall loose instead.
Grabbing the old, threadbare robe hanging on the back of the bathroom door, she pulls it around herself and shuffles to the front door. She peers through the peephole and her heart stops for a moment, but she steels herself and opens the door.
Namjoon stands before her, hands in his pockets and shoulders slightly hunched. “Hey. I just wanted to - oh, God,” he switches abruptly, his expression changing from vaguely apologetic to shocked, and he slips inside the apartment.
“What?” Kaya asks, taken off guard and stumbling backwards.
“You really opened the door wearing that?” he hisses, shutting the door behind him. “I could’ve been anyone!”
“I knew it was you,” she argues, tightening the belt around her waist and realising, for the first time, how short the robe is. But she isn’t about to admit that to him, especially not when he’s turned up unannounced and decided to begin his visit by berating her. She folds her arms across her chest. “What do you want, Namjoon?”
He hesitates, almost as though he’s just noticing how displeased she is. “Sorry,” he mutters, looking a bit ashamed. “I didn’t mean to… anyway,” he says quickly, wringing his hands and slipping them back in his pockets. “How are you?”
Kaya shrugs suspiciously. He looks remarkably different from where she’d left him last night, almost breaking down and apologising to her. Right now, he seems almost… calm. She can almost imagine that last night had been a slip-up of emotion, possibly due to tiredness and an open bar, whereas in the light of day, he’s back to being the responsible ex who’s fulfilling his obligations by checking up on her each day.
“I’m great.”
He nods after a moment, clearly not believing her. “Well, I came here because…” He sighs and a glimmer of last night’s emotion appears on his face. “I thought about what you said last night. And you were right.”
The jolt in her stomach is almost painful, but Kaya hangs on. If he was talking about what she thinks he is, he would be delivering it far more differently.
“We can’t keep doing this. I can’t expect you to keep doing this,” he adds. “Staying in this limbo, not knowing…” He bites his lip and lowers his gaze, removing his hands from his pockets. “You have every right to move on. I want you to - to be happy.”
Kaya licks her lips slowly. “This,” she says coldly, “could’ve been a text.”
“I didn’t want to leave things the way they were last night,” he tells her, his voice softer. “You’re, uh…” His voice breaks off for a moment. “You’re the love of my life. And we were together for a long time and I… I loved every moment of it. I just want to say goodbye the right way.”
Her throat hurts holding back the rush of emotion that threatens to overwhelm her.
“Are you sure?” She can’t resist asking, in a whisper. When he nods and lowers his eyes, she feels the heavy, heavy anchor of acceptance settle in her stomach.
Namjoon hesitantly reaches out with one hand but when she gives him a look, he nods and steps forward, and they meet in their last hug, three and a half years after their first last hug in her apartment.
Kaya hugs him tight, no longer caring about hiding how she feels. There isn’t enough time to try and memorise everything so she doesn’t even try; she just goes higher on her toes and presses her nose into his shoulder, revelling in his scent one last time.
Namjoon doesn’t seem to be doing much better. He’s holding her tight, so tight that it doesn’t seem like he’s ever intending on letting her go. His face is in her hair and his arms stroke her back in small movements, his go-to movement to comfort her since they met.
Just a few more seconds. The sensations increase now; the feel of his shoulders, his chest touching hers - and she’s suddenly conscious of the thin robe being the only thing separating her naked body from him.
At the same time, his hands move to her waist - out of habit, she knows, but she can’t help but be extremely aware of it. His hand stops just above the curve of her hips, quickly and abruptly.
Her mouth feels dry, but her legs press together. Then, as though he can read her mind and the direction her thoughts are invariably leading in, against her hip, she can feel his body react.
She lets out a soft gasp and feels his body stiffen around her. This is goodbye, a voice reminds her, urging her brain to focus on the matter at hand. But it’s slipping - fading, almost, as a physical urge struggles for dominance.
Her lips brush his neck as she pulls away - she has to pull away - but it doesn’t matter in the end because somewhere along the way his lips find hers and all thought disappears, replaced by touch, feel and hunger.
Namjoon sighs into her mouth like he’s breathing for the first time, pulling her close. Her robe starts to loosen and he tugs at the belt, groaning when his hands touch her bare skin.
“Fuck, are you really not wearing anything under this?” he murmurs, his voice so low and reverberating so deep inside her that she shivers.
The robe is off; it’s cool and sudden air, a moment where his hands fall from her waist and then their back but this time, it’s skin against skin. It’s lips and sighs and tight grips, the feel of denim, her fingers moving out of habit as they unbutton and unzip - and then there’s pride and relief when she feels his desire for her, still the same as ever, no matter his words.
There’s something solid against her back; somewhere, dimly, her mind registers that her dining table is rickety and has her laptop on it, and then she’s leaning forward and he’s behind her and his chest is against her back and he wants her just as much as he wants him.
“Are you -“
“I’m still on birth control,” she confirms tightly, the next moment feeling his fingers on her hips and then he’s inside her again, after so long. She could almost sob at how good it feels, how right, the lips on her shoulder and his scent and touch.
But it’s over too soon. She gasps and falls forward, her ears ringing and heart hurting at the same time as her heart races. He’s getting close, too; she tries to memorise it now, the exact moment, but then he pulls out. It’s sudden, the emptiness, but the next moment, she feels wetness on her back.
It takes around ten seconds, ten seconds when she’s frozen before she finally hears him sigh and take a step away. A moment later, she reaches across the table and pulls the tissue box towards her, reaching behind and wiping her back.
Kaya turns slightly to see him pulling on his T-shirt, jeans buttoned already. She picks up her robe and pulls it on hurriedly, suddenly not wanting to be naked for even another microsecond in front of him.
Something feels wrong. It’s not the first time he’s finished on her; he’s done it before, on explicit request and without, none of which ever made her feel… like this. Self-conscious. Bare.
Namjoon clears his throat. “I -“ He meets her eyes, still panting slightly. “I still want to… do this right,” he says, sounding almost formal. “Goodbye, Kaya.”
He starts to take a step forward but pauses. “Maybe we shouldn’t hug,” he murmurs, offering her a small smile. Kaya watches as he hesitantly offers her a hand.
This is goodbye. Kaya can’t remember ever feeling this uncomfortable around him. The momentary loss of her sense of reason feels like it’s returned in full form, and she tightens the robe around her. She starts to reach for his hand but then stops.
“This is what you meant?” she asks quietly. “When you said you wanted to do it the right way? You wanted to see if you could squeeze in one last fuck before you closed this out like a business meeting?”
“What?” Namjoon’s eyes widen. “No! I didn’t - I didn’t want that to happen! I mean - you know that’s not what I meant,” he adds quickly. “I didn’t plan this. You and I both -“
“You planned our break-up and I had no idea,” she cuts him off, the shame and embarrassment creeping up her throat. “I really don’t know anymore.”
He scoffs, but his eyes flicker like he’s been stung. “Is that what you think of me? We were both here, Kaya. It wasn’t just me - you wanted this just as much as I -“
“I slept with Adam.”
Namjoon freezes. He swallows and his eyes flicker again, rapidly this time. “You’re lying,” he whispers.
Kaya shrugs, holding his gaze with every last bit of willpower in her. “You were the one who told me to move on last night,” she reminds him, watching his expression crumble and doing nothing to stop it.
After what feels like several minutes, or maybe even hours, Namjoon nods slowly. Then, without another word, he turns around and opens the door, walking out of her life and shutting the door behind him.
—
Thanks for reading. Don't forget to drop a review :)
#namjoon fanfic#namjoon x oc#thebtswritersclub#bangtanwhq#micdropnet#k-vanity#houseofddaeng#wkcnet#hyunglinenetwork#bts rm fanfic#bts rm angst#bts rm smut
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Music, Love, and Lust.
Pairing: Namjoon x Yoongi x Reader
Genre: smut
Word count: I’m sorry I keep forgetting but like no more than 2k
Warning: sex, fingering, Namjoon watches, Nipp sucking, and I think that’s it.
Summary: you’re being a brat at the studio and Yoongi and Namjoon are annoyed.
Note: Hey so I noticed y’all really liked the last one I posted. So here is a new one! I think I have the AI bot a little to much detail but whatever anyways! I hope y’all enjoy you nasties 🥸!
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The studio was quiet, save for the sound of pen tapping against paper. Namjoon and Yoongi were focused, scribbling lyrics and jotting down ideas for a new beat. Y/N, on the other hand, was getting antsy. She had been sitting on the couch for what felt like hours, watching the guys work. She had no idea what they were doing, and it was starting to bore her.
"Hey, what are you guys working on?" Y/N asked, leaning over to peek at their papers.
Namjoon glanced up, giving her a small smile. "Just trying to come up with a new beat. It's not going very well."
Y/N shrugged, sinking back into the cushions. "Well, it looks boring. What else can we do?"
Yoongi rolled his eyes. "We're working, Y/N. You can't expect us to entertain you every second."
Y/N pouted, feeling restless. She glanced around the room, searching for something to do. Her eyes landed on the whiteboard that hung on the wall.
"Ooh, let's play a game!" she exclaimed, jumping up from the couch. "I'll draw something on the board and you guys have to guess what it is."
Namjoon and Yoongi exchanged a look, both of them looking slightly annoyed. "Can't you see we're trying to work here?" Namjoon said.
Y/N shrugged, a mischievous glint in her eye. "Come on, it'll be fun! If you guess right, I'll give you a prize."
The guys sighed, but they couldn't help but smile at Y/N's enthusiasm. "Fine," Yoongi grumbled. "But make it quick."
As Y/N drew, Namjoon and Yoongi tried their best to guess what she was making. But Y/N's drawings were so abstract and strange that they couldn't even begin to guess. They were starting to get frustrated with her constant interruptions.
"Okay, that's enough," Namjoon said, setting his pen down. "We're not getting anything done like this."
Y/N stuck her tongue out, feeling a little bad for being so disruptive. "Sorry, I just didn't know what else to do."
Yoongi raised an eyebrow, a mischievous glint in his eye. "Well, you know what they say about being bored," he said, crossing the room to stand in front of her.
Y/N looked up at him, a little confused. "What do they say?"
"They say it's a sign that you need to be punished," he said, before leaning down to press a kiss to her lips.
Namjoon chuckled, joining in on the fun. "Yeah, punished with kisses," he said, peppering her face with soft kisses.
Y/N giggled, feeling her frustration melt away. She wrapped her arms around their necks, pulling them in for a deeper kiss.
As their lips met, the tension between them grew. Yoongi's hands slid down Y/N's back, pulling her closer. Namjoon's fingers tangled in her hair, deepening the kiss even further. Y/N felt a shiver run down her spine, her body responding to their touch.
The three of them broke the kiss, panting for breath. Namjoon and Yoongi looked at each other, a silent conversation passing between them.
"I think we need to take a break from work," Namjoon said, turning back to Y/N. "Do you want to go somewhere more private?"
Y/N nodded eagerly, feeling her heart racing. The guys took her hands, leading her out of the studio and down the hall to a nearby empty room. As soon as they were inside, Yoongi pressed her against the wall, kissing her deeply as Namjoon stood behind her, his hands roaming over her body.
Y/N moaned softly, feeling herself getting lost in the sensations. She ran her hands over Yoongi's chest, feeling the muscles rippling under his shirt. Namjoon's lips trailed down her neck, nipping at her skin.
"God, you're so beautiful," Yoongi whispered, his hands sliding down to cup her ass.
Y/N gasped, feeling herself getting wet at his touch. She ground her hips against his, feeling his cock pressing against her. Namjoon stepped back, taking off his shirt and tossing it aside. Y/N's eyes widened at the sight of his toned chest, feeling herself getting even more turned on. Yoongi pressed his lips to hers again, deepening the kiss as Namjoon stepped forward to press his body against hers.
The three of them were lost in a haze of lust, their bodies moving together in perfect harmony. They took turns kissing and touching her, driving her to the brink of orgasm again and again. Y/N felt like she was in heaven, surrounded by the warmth and love of her two boyfriends. Y/N felt the overwhelming love and passion from both Namjoon and Yoongi as they showered her with kisses all over her body. Their hands roamed over her curves, feeling her up and down as they continued to tease and torment her with their lips and tongues.
She felt her body respond eagerly to their touch, her nipples hardening and her core growing wet with desire. She gasped and moaned, unable to control her reactions as they explored every inch of her. Yoongi's lips found their way to her neck, nipping and sucking at the sensitive skin, while Namjoon trailed kisses down her chest, pausing to tease her nipples with his tongue. Y/N's fingers tangled in their hair, urging them on as her body shook with pleasure. As their mouths met in a passionate kiss, Y/N felt her body tense and her heart race. She knew she was close to the edge, but she didn't want it to end yet. She pushed them away gently, staring up at them with a mischievous glint in her eye.
"Not yet," she said, her voice husky with desire. "I want to show you both how much I love you too."
With a devilish smile, she pushed Yoongi down onto the couch and straddled him, feeling his cock pressing against her core. Namjoon knelt behind her, running his hands over her ass as he watched her ride Yoongi. Y/N moaned, feeling herself getting closer and closer to the brink of ecstasy. She reached up to pull Namjoon in for a kiss, their tongues tangling together in a wild dance. Yoongi's hands gripped her hips, urging her on as she rode him harder and faster. As they all reached their climax together, Y/N felt a sense of euphoria wash over her. She collapsed onto Yoongi's chest, feeling Namjoon's arms wrap around her from behind.
"I love you both so much," she whispered, feeling her heart overflowing with emotion.
"We love you too, baby," Namjoon said, pressing a kiss to her shoulder.
Yoongi grinned up at her, his eyes shining with adoration. "You're everything to us, Y/N."
They lay there for a while, just holding each other and basking in the afterglow of their passion. Y/N felt complete, surrounded by the warmth and love of her two amazing boyfriends.
#bangtan#bts#namjoon smut#yoongi smut#yoongi#namjoon#bts namjoon#bts yoongi#bts suga#suga bts#rm bts#bts rm smut#smut bts#bts smut
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Lessons with Joon ❣️🥀
Namjoon x Fem!Reader
Warnings: mentions of childhood sexual trauma, guided masterbation, ddlg, thigh riding
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Living with childhood sexual trauma made it hard for you to do lots of things. One of those things was intimacy. You haven’t had sex with your boyfriend yet but you have rode his thigh and let him rub you over your panties for relief. Although it was still very scary.
One of the things that scare you most was masterbation. You’ve never done it and any time you’re about to touch yourself, you freak out.
But one night Namjoon noticed that you were incredibly needy and humping his leg while sleeping so he woke you up. When he learned that you’ve never touched yourself, he wanted to show you.
~~~~~~~~~
“This is just for when daddy’s not here okay?”
You nodded nervously while sitting up and pulling down your panties.
“Just relax.” He said while having you lean back against some pillows. “It’s supposed to be a good experience.
You nodded but still shaking a little.
Namjoon took your hand and had you light rub your inner thighs.
“Is that okay, babygirl?” He asked.
“Y-yes daddy…”
Namjoon kissed your cheek and moved your hand towards your cunt. It was already very wet.
Your heart was racing as it got closer and body getting more stiff.
“We’re going to touch now okay…?” He said while moving your fingers to rub your clit, making you whimper.
“Is this okay?”
Your eyes were closed and you only nodded, trying to keep tears in.
It was when he had you slowly insert a finger when you started to panic.
“D-daddy-….” You whimpered as some tears started to form.
“It’s okay, baby.” He said while starting to move your finger.
“No… no no no!” You started crying “Stop!”
“Baby—”
“Stop it daddy! Stop!” You cried out loud as Namjoon quickly let go of your hand.
“Hey, it’s okay.” Your boyfriend said while trying to calm you down. “It’s okay, baby…”
“No no! I cant! I can’t do it!” You continued sobbing while shaking your head.
Namjoon hugged you as you continued sobbing and rubbed your back.
“It’s okay. You did good. You did really good, babygirl…”
You only kept your face in his chest while holding on tight.
“Daddy… I-I can’t… I can’t do it…” you said while wiping some tears.
“That’s okay. You’re doing better.”
“B-but I want…”
“Just do what makes your comfortable… you’ll be ready soon.”
Namjoon wiped your tears and you put your panties back on with a sigh.
“B-but I still… I still…”
“I got you.” Namjoon said with a smile as he lifted and placed you on his thigh.
“Go ahead.”
You nodded and grinded on his thigh. The thin silky material of your panties along with your neediness had you whining and moaning as Namjoon had you do all the work. He put his hands on your hips but not much else.
“D-daddy…” you moaned as your hips stuttered. “Daddy p-please—”
“Let go whenever you want, babygirl.” He said with a smile as you did so.
Coming left you exhausted and you slumped over.
“Time to sleep, princess.” Namjoon said with a chuckle. He removed your wet underwear and put on another pair before laying next to you. He rubbed your cheek as you passed out.
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This is based off my own fear since I have childhood sexual trauma… I’m actually terrified of intimacy and am not sure what I’d do in this situation…
If you’ve experienced childhood sexual trauma, I wanna let you know that it wasn’t your fault and to take as long as you need to heal.
#kpop#kpop x reader#kpop imagines#fanfic#bts fanfic#bts namjoon#namjoon angst#namjoon x poc reader#kim namjoon#namjoon smut#bts smut#bts angst#kpop smut#bts x reader#bts rm fanfic#bts rm smut#namjoon x reader#bts kim namjoon#bts fic#bts#rm bts#kpop fanfic#kpop angst
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better man | knj (18+)
part 2 of “shreds”.
Pairing: idol!Kim Namjoon x idol!female!reader
Summary: Two years have passed after your breakup with Namjoon.
Warnings: SMUT (minors DNI), oral (f. and m. receiving), fingering, unprotected sex (wrap it up buddies), a bit of dirty talk, praises, cheating, mentions of pregnancy and abortion, profanity, typos, unhealthy relationship, possessive bf Namjoon
Author’s note: hope you enjoy the part 2! I haven’t planned on writing it, but here we are :) tell me what you think!!
Tags: @namjooningera @namtaeh
Disclaimer: the names and appearances of real people are used for inspiration and writing purposes only. I do not claim anything, everything belongs to its owners.
P.S. The pictures are taken from Pinterest, so if you know their owners, please let me know!
Wedding planning was not a piece of cake.
Sure, you’ve had multiple assistants and your friends helping you out — however, it was still a really hard thing to do. To fit everything into your schedule was nearly impossible, but you tried, moving rehearsals to early mornings, studio sessions to late nights and taking the whole afternoon for the wedding stuff. Just as your wedding was around the corner — three months before it — you landed in Seoul after the tour. And since then, it has been nothing but a crazy roller coaster.
Your company has decided you have to be prepared for your next comeback in advance; as your boss said, you would be too relaxed to get back to your regular rhythm after the honeymoon. Not that you disagreed.
Your fiancé wasn’t that happy about your new rushy routine: he couldn’t but get infuriated every time he had to pick you up in a state of literal exhaustion; you had to beg him not to quarrel with your bosses, reassuring him that’s what you wanted yourself too. Whenever you spoke of it, he agreed.
You couldn’t ever admit even to yourself you were the type of girl to enjoy wedding planning. You’d look arrogantly when your girlfriends gushed over wedding dresses and party planning, trying to seem untouchable, “not-like-other-girls” type of girlie. But you were. The second Namjoon hinted at the wedding, in your head you were already at the altar, bouquet of light pink roses in your hands, the veil covering your face.
But Kim Namjoon never came to the altar. He was a runaway groom, who was standing at the church doors, but never took a step forward. Throughout eight years of being with him, your dress’ white color turned into yellow, the roses withered and the veil got covered in a thick layer of dust. You turned into a Corpse Bride while being alive and breathing, with your own evil boyfriend who, in reality, never wanted to marry you.
The sheer amount of freedom you felt the second you let him go was mind blowing. It was overwhelming, how you could dress up in those tight, revealing outfits without his judgement or lingering jealousy. You were his girl, but only behind closed doors. However, even being kept as a secret, you had to be cautious with what you wore, who you talked with. For god’s sake, if someone flirted with you, and you laughed it off? Namjoon would be clenching his jaw in the back of the room, all pent up frustration later turned into aggressive make out session. He’d grab handfuls of your ass, squeeze your hips, bite your lips till they were a light shade of purple. “You’re mine”, he’d growl into your skin, leaving love marks all over your neck, “and mine only”.
You loved being his, even as an illicit affair. When the two of you met, never in a million years you’d think this relationship could last that long. You were nineteen, freshly debuted as a soloist, slowly building up your career and fanbase. He was twenty, a well-known star already, but not worldwide popular. Having been a promising songwriter, you were assigned to work with his group by your company. It would bring a great benefit to all of us, they said. Oh yeah, it did.
You two seemed to hit it off in an instant; you’d stay there, long hours spent in the studio, writing and sharing your lyrics with one another. He’d write about his ex-girlfriend, you’d write about your previous relationship with the high-school ex. No wonder, several months later you ended up staring at him in awe, as he held out a bouquet of pink roses, his face matching the shade of the flowers.
“Go on date with me”, he uttered, voice a bit shaky. “And go out with me”.
You agreed to both simultaneously, taking the bouquet from his hands, the smell of your favourite flowers, associating with him, forever etched on your memory.
Your date turned out to be the quietest you’d been on. You had a picnic in the park, with people surrounding you — sure, not every freaking person knew him back then. You shared fruits and berries, as he read his favorite poems to you, while you were sitting beside him. And as the end of the day approached, apricot colored sunset drawing everyone’s attention to it, Namjoon took your hand in his. You remember looking at him as he watched the sunset, your interwoven hands on his lap, a big delighted smile on his face. You returned it, even though he wasn’t looking at you, and put your head on his shoulder, immediately melting to his warmth. That was the moment you fell in love with him. And that was the moment, one of many, you kept reminding yourself of whenever any doubts about him would creep up in your brain.
The boy you fell in love with turned into a man. The man had this intimidating aura to him, so mysterious yet so fluffy at the same time. He was still that boy who held your hand under the table and blushed every time you pecked him on the cheek. But the man Namjoon grew up to be was more demanding, his hand creeping up your thigh under the table now, fingers playing with the hem of your panties. You hated when he did that, but he never listened to your complaints.
The man also turned all the promises the boy gave you into empty ones. He gave you the ring three years in the relationship — a simple one that you saw in one cheap jewelry shop, with light purple flowers engraved on it — and promised he’d give you a real one when the time comes. You believed the boy, but the man was the person you couldn’t put your trust in. You didn’t need the ring, nor the promises; the only thing you wanted was openness. You were tired of hiding, tired of women flirting with him and him flirting back — well, it’s not like the two of you were official — tired of lying to everyone. The only thing you craved was him claiming your relationship, being proud of it.
As the two years passed, you realized there was never even a hint of pride in him. Namjoon was comfortable in the relationship with you, as you were ready to put everything at stake just for him, but he, himself? His career was a superiority to everything, always. How foolish of you was to even think that he would put you in the top list of his priorities?
So you broke it off, the relationship, the engagement, the promise you’d give to each other years ago. “To grow up, and to grow old together”, sounded like a wedding vow — there was yet another lie you fed yourself with every time he’d reject going public with you. Or, “Happiness is in privacy”, you mom would say. Wrong. Happiness is in not being scared to show your partner off. Happiness is in being proud of your relationship. That’s what you understood when your new boyfriend appeared at the horizon, putting your loneliness to an end.
It’s been almost two years and a half after you breakup with Namjoon now. He enlisted in the military not long after, texting you to ask, “Will you wait for me?”. You answered negatively, blocking his number and all of his accounts, too. The audacity this man has, you thought while crying your eyes out, asking if I’d wait for him? Seriously?
You read the news about him obsessively, though. The first few months after the breakup you unblocked him several times, waiting, hoping he’d text you. If he had done that, you’d have been crawling on your knees back to him, back to the mess your relationship turned into. But he never did.
Drowning in the mere presence of him, created by the news articles, fanfiction you’d read, edits you’d watched — anything to build up an image of him being beside you. However, the more you drowned, the more disgusted you’d become. Seeing his face on the screen didn’t bring you the necessary joy anymore — you were exhausted of his dimples, his voice, the mere image of him. Several months passed before you caught yourself not thinking of him anymore. It’d hurt a little bit if someone spoke of him or if you saw his face — but only because your heart was aching for you. You didn’t think about Namjoon anymore, and that’s when you were ready to move on.
You met Park Dae-Hyun at a party, the one your company made you come to. As a brand ambassador, you had to attend; the next morning you’d read how every tabloid tossed your photos around, saying how skinny you looked, speculating that it was the breakup affecting you that way. Everybody knew you were back on the single market, and everybody wanted to find out who your ex was. As if.
Dae-Hyun is 10 years older than you, with an established business and a divorce left behind. He has no kids, no scandals, no skeletons hidden in his closet. He’s stable, restricted, serious. He’s a grown man who’s been on the same page with you since day one.
You went out as a couple to another brand event two months in your relationship. Pictures were taken, tabloids were eating the shit up, savoring every little detail of your body language around each other. And when his hands were roaming around your waist in the back of the car, heavy kisses trailed alongside your neck, you, as moved on and conscientious you were, imagined Namjoon’s hands on your waist and his lips on your skin.
When Dae-Hyun proposed, it was straight out of your teenage dreams — on top of the highest building in Seoul, a table in the center of the rooftop with champagne and red roses. You wished they were pink though, but you never told Dae-Hyun that light pink ones were your favourite. He proposed a year into relationship, willing to give you the life you’ve always wanted. You knew he was telling the truth.
Park Dae-Hyun was a better man: he always found the time for you, no matter how much work he had; always brought you flowers whenever you felt down, returned from tour or had a successful comeback. When you fist started dating, you were in the middle of searching for a new apartment, and he helped, using all of his ties and connections in the estate business to land the best option for you. You didn’t ask for it, but he did it anyways. With Dae-Hyun, you’ve learnt how to ask for help, gradually and slowly.
So you agreed to be his wife, to be the better woman with the better man. You put Kim Namjoon to the darkest and dustiest shelf in the story of your life, letting the memory of him rot in the back of your head. You were happier now; you didn’t feel lonely whenever Dae-Hyun would leave. Now, you felt like a whole person, even when your partner wasn’t around. This is the epitome of a healthy relationship, isn’t it?
Yeah, it is. And all of it would’ve been just perfect if only Kim Namjoon didn’t come back from his military service two months ago.
Everyone was talking about it, every news source filled in with his photos and short comments about the comeback he’s already planning. And of course, of-fucking-course, he had to attend the same party as you. As if he’d known you’d be there.
Simple greetings and bows exchanged by the two of you, and you walked away, planning to leave as soon as possible. As you managed to escape seeing him again, Namjoon didn’t miss the chance to show up at your door in the middle of the night.
“Get out”
“I’m only here to talk”.
“There’s nothing to talk about. I’ve said everything to you already”.
“But I haven’t!” He retorted. “You didn’t even let me speak!”
“I know everything”, you took several steps towards him, “everything you’re going to say. It’s always these false promises and empty words that you speak of”.
You stood in front of him, eyes piercing through his. Namjoon let out a sigh, pinching the bridge of his nose.
“What happened to us, baby?”
You winced at the pet name, goosebumps appearing all over your body the moment he mumbled it. You have forgotten how much the sound of his voice only made blood rush to the sensitive bundle of nerves down your body.
“You”. The answer was sharp. “You happened. You ruined me. And us”. He looked at you, gaze fixated on your trembling lips. “‘Cause you forgot when you promised… that we’d always be together. ‘To grow up, and grow old together’, do you remember?” You let out a breathy chuckle, tears already collecting on your eyelashes. “Because I do. I remember, uh… I remember when I thought you meant it. ‘Cause I did”.
The last sentence came out as a whisper as you almost collapsed there; Namjoon was quick to catch you and hold you in his arms, while you let out muffled cries. He wrapped his arms around you even tighter when you body started shaking because of all of the sobbing. You heard his breath hitch, chest heavy as he let you cry out in his arms for as long as you could.
And when you calmed down, you raised your head to find him looking at you, cheeks wet from tears. You gently wiped them away, subconsciously smiling — just because you felt cozy in his arms again. And as he cupped your cheek and returned a smile, you couldn’t hold back any longer.
I’m a swift moment your back was pressed against the wall, legs wrapped around his waist. The kiss was sloppy, saliva dripping from both of your mouths as your tongues battled for dominance. You were both grinding on each other, moaning every time his growing bulge would touch your closeted clit.
As your clothes were left somewhere in the living room, you were on the bed, fingers tangled in his hair. Namjoon was between your legs again, biting your thighs gently.
“Joon-“
“Don’t say a word”, he growled, ripping your panties off your body, “you didn’t let me finish this last time. Take it as a good girl now”.
You’d forgotten his dominant persona; when he was this demanding during sex, you loved turning into the obedient mess he was making out of you.
Slow circles drawn by his tongue on your clit, torturous pleasure making you arch your back. His hands were massaging your hips, as he lapped at your folds, collecting your arousal on his tongue. Parting your lips, he tongue-fucked you, moving rapidly from licking your folds to sucking on your clit. One of your hands tugged on his hair, burying yourself in the soft curls, while the other was pressed to your mouth in order not to let a single sound escape. All of your neighbors knew who your fiancé was; and tonight, he wasn’t in town.
Heat pooling in the lower back, you felt your cheeks burning. The familiar ache between your thighs signaled at you chasing a climax, and the sloppy sounds Namjoon was making brought you even closer to the edge. As you slightly raised your head to look at him, you found him watching you the entire time while making broad strokes with his tongue, eating you out as if you’d been his last dessert.
“You wanna come, baby?”, he asked, slipping two fingers inside, slowly spreading your pussy open, ready for him. “Where d’you wanna come?”
You panted. “On y-your..”
Namjoon moved from in between your legs and you gasped at a loss of contact; he positioned himself at your entrance, his even more bulky body hovering over you now.
“On my mouth?” He asked again, a playful smile on his lips. You noticed saliva dripping down his chin and leaned forward to lick it, savoring your own taste on the tongue. Namjoon moaned and grabbed the back of your head to pull you in another sloppy kiss.
“On your dick”, an open-mouthed kiss left on his jaw, “I wanna come on your dick”.
A smug smile on his face. “Your wish is my command, baby”.
He pushed in inch by inch, making your breath hitch in your throat. In a mere moment you were stuffed with him again, and it felt-
“So, so good”, you whined, hand grabbing the back of his neck, “Joon, uh, shit!”
“I haven’t even moved yet”, he whispered against your lips, “and you’re already begging? Pretty girl”, he tucked strained hair behind your ear, “all mine”.
And his hips snapped. In a merciless rhythm, he thrusted in an out of your entrance, hitting that sweet spot with every frenzied pound of his. He sucked on your lips, teeth grazing, as his thumb was pressed onto your clit, circling around.
“Aw”, he cooed, hand grabbing your breast, “your legs are trembling. Does it feel that good?”
“Yeah”, you breathed out, pressing your tits to his chest, grabbing his back to pull him even closer if it were possible. You were kissing each other, lips nibbling, hot breaths on skin.
“O-oh shit”, he huffed, the sound of smacking flesh being music to his ears. He licked the skin on your collarbones, as your nails dug into his shoulders, leaving crescent marks all over them. “You’re all mine, baby”, his breathy moans filled in the room, “mine, and mine only”.
You let out a chuckle. “Ah-I.. I’m not.. y-yours…”.
He growled into your ear, hands grabbing your hips roughly to lift them up a little, fingers leaving marks.
He slammed into you frantically. “You” Another slam. “Are”. Slam. “Mine”. Slam.
You bit on his shoulder to hold back your moans. “D’you understand this, baby?” He kept on drawing circles on your swollen clit. “You’re my girl”.
Having heard his last words, you felt your walls fluttering around his cock, and your eyes rolled back as you only saw the dark while Namjoon fucked you through your high. Sweet nothings whispered into your ear, with the one last powerful thrust he emptied himself inside of you, painting you as his once again. You both were shivering but holding each other tightly as Namjoon left a languid kiss on your lips.
He fucked you in the shower several minutes later; made you come on his fingers when you were trying to get dressed; you sucked him off as he sat on the couch. The couch you fiancé bought you.
After that you swore to never see Namjoon again. You tried to forget that you cheated on your future husband with your ex-boyfriend, but not even a week later you found yourself on your knees in the studio.
“Fu-uck, baby”, Namjoon croaked, as you swirled your tongue over the tip of his cock, “you’re being such a good girl to me. Sucking me off so, so perfectly”. He brushed the hair out of your face, maintaining an eye contact. “Only you, my girl, shit, only you”.
After that? You broke it off again. You were torn between the perfect, healthy relationship you’ve had with Dae-Hyun and that unhealthy, hot mess you and Namjoon shared. You wouldn’t continue this affair, you’d break up with him again and move on to your wedding preparations.
But you just had to come back and taste him one more time. You had to make excuses, to cover it up with rehearsals and late night studio sessions, with dance practices leaving you sweaty and out-of-breath. Joon would fuck you in the practice room, making you watch yourself in the mirror, and then you’d get seated in Dae-Hyun’s car, while he drove you home.
You were the most horrible person on the entire planet. Although, you swore to yourself it’ll all end when you get married; after the official ceremony, you’ll be committed to Dae-Hyun only. The time passed, you’d get dicked down by your ex at any possible moment and then you’d come back to your fiancé to have him gently make love to you. Such stupid double-life moment will always result in disaster.
And so it does now. You’re standing next to the sink, a pregnancy test in your hands. His arms suddenly wrap around your waist, head on your shoulder.
“Is it mine?” Namjoon whispers, kissing your neck slowly, knowing exactly whose baby you were pregnant with.
“Yeah”, you breathe out. Dae-Hyun would always use protection, as the two of you planned to have kids after the marriage. Now, you guessed, the whole plan went south.
“Good”, Joon responds, his grip on you tightening. “Means we’ll get married now”.
What a shit show. All of the thoughts were mixed into a mess in your head, not knowing whether to get an abortion, break up with Joon and go back to Dae-Hyun like nothing happened, or to start a messy little family with your ex-boyfriend. What have I done?
As you have stated many times, Dae-Hyun was a better man. Namjoon, on the other hand, was toxic and possessive, needy to keep you around for him and him only. And, as much as you wanted to become a better woman alongside Dae-Hyun, you were destined to be a beautiful disaster beside Kim Namjoon.
#kim namjoon#kim namjoon x reader#kim namjoon x you#kim namjoon x y/n#kim namjoon imagine#kim namjoon smut#bts imagines#bts rm x reader#bts rm imagine#bts rm smut#bts rm
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The lies we'll tell: NMJ x Plus Size Fem! Reader
Summary: Being the secretary to a powerful CEO is no easy feat. But with his lingering dragon like eyes, things could get a bit more interesting.
Warnings: Possessive behavior, Smut, bit of fluff, unprotected sex, dirty talk, dom!Namjoon, sub!reader, work place bullying and talk of diet culture. Also, very light editing done. FLITH.
Rating: 18+ (Minors DNI)
A/N: Hi hi! This is my first story posting on here. I used to write a lot back then but I am just now getting back into the swing of things and I hope you guys enjoy~ <3 I am very nervous.
You spent the majority of your early morning in the bathroom trying to readjust your tight skirt. You had no idea why you let your best friend, Jia decide to pick out your clothes for today.
"Ah, shit," you whisper to yourself trying to bring it down more and more but the skirt keeps wanting to ride up your plump thighs.
"Why, why, why! Did I let Jia talk me into this," you whisper to yourself when you hear one of the stall bathrooms unlock.
A tall slender woman appeared. She's pale, short jet black hair that stopped right above her shoulders with a cute grey business casual outfit that complemented that pale skin. She looks at you through the mirror with all of the cookie cutter sinks lined up, washes her hands and reapplies her bright red lipstick.
"Such a shame," she says.
"Excuse me?" you ask.
"Oh? You heard that? Sorry, sometimes my thoughts slip out." She smirks, eyes rolling in disgust as she see's you keep struggling to pull down your skirt. "I was saying that it's such a shame . . . no more like a disappointment that our CEO hired you over me. I'm sure I'd be more of a prize to look at," she pauses putting her lipstick away in her bag and fixes her hair. "He pick someone who is supposed to keep up, how can you do that when you can't even keep up with yourself?"
Your face was red, boiling over with anger within you. Nari, Nari was a mean mean woman even when you first met her when you both were young interns. She has always had her sights on the CEO of Bangtan Corp. She was young money and blew it off while partying in her early twenties from the rumors you heard. Daddy is broke but still has connections which lead her, here . . . you about to rip her a new one.
"I'm sorry, last time I checked I'm the one close with the CEO? Not you? Huh, such a shame that your pretty little head still can't comprehend that. While I am struggling, I will and still will come on top. Don't you forget that," you snapped.
Her face is red, just about almost as red as that obnoxious red lipstick she has on. She quickly walks out of the bathroom, pushing past another woman. "Woah! Be careful, sheesh," the woman's voice shouts. It's a familiar voice. "Hey what happened with Narcissus over here?" Jia asks.
Tears sting your eyes and all you can do is hold onto the ends of your skirt still trying to pull it down. "Hey, hey! What's going on?" Jia asks while getting closer. You look up at her in the mirror. She is a bit tanner, long light brown hair she keeps into a ponytail with cute bangs to frame her face. She usually has light brown contacts in but today, her dark eyes are only focused on you.
"I'm sick of her shitty attitude towards everyone, I'm sick of people doubting my skills because I got picked to be Mr. Kim's secretary and most of all I AM SICK OF THIS SKIRT!" you couldn't help but shout a bit while trashing about.
Clearly over-stimulated, Jia shushes you while petting your hair. "Y/N, hey girl it's going to be alright, look at me!" she exclaims.
"No."
"Look at me, Y/N, I'm not playing games here."
You give in, facing towards her and away from the big mirror.
"First and foremost. Nari over here, that bitch. Don't worry about her, she can be a bully with her little group and keke all she wants but, it will not get her far, not with the high school mentality she has. Secondly, you speak three different languages, you were valedictorian in your collage and you can crush a cantaloupe with these thighs," she says, giggling while taking a good little slap to your inner thigh.
"And that's supposed to make me feel better, how?" you ask while rolling your eyes.
"Because! I was going to say before you interrupted me. Thirdly, you're hot."
"Oh come on now, you're ju-"
"Y/N, no I'm serious. Look at you," she says while she gets behind you and makes you face towards the mirror. "Look at how cute you did your hair today, your makeup is on point and matches so well with your dark navy blue skirt, long sleeve white silk blouse and your small pearl necklace you have on. You're too cute. I know you think your skirt . . . is a bit too short and I'm sorry for that. I just thought you needed to feel beautiful as much as you look right now."
There's a pause. You take a look at yourself, a really good look at yourself. You see how your curves are fitted well. How the black small belt holding your skirt is making your waist come in and how flushed your hips are. Your black sheer tights highlight your thick thighs and how your black chunky heels are making your back straighten, giving you that boost you need. To top it off, your breasts look perfectly round, the white blouse has a small little plunge showing the tops of them off, beautifully.
Jia takes notice and gives you a soft smile.
"Are we about to kiss?" you joke.
"No! But, I'm down if you are!" She laughs a hearty laugh all while you wave her off. You grab your large bag off of the sink counter and pull out a grey sweater. "Ugh no, please not the sweater," she says.
"While I appreciate you basically eye fucking me, this skirt is still inappropriate for work," you say. You wrap the light feeling sweater around your waist and tie the arms around the front of you. The longer part covers your bottom. "I have to schedule some meetings now. See you after work?"
Jia gives you her big smile. "Of course! Dinner at your place?"
"Dinner at my place," you agree. "Don't forget that wine I left at your place okay!" you say as you leave the bathrooms.
"What wine again!?" she yells.
* * *
The office space you've shared with Mr. Kim has always been so intimate. You were placed in a small waiting room and the doors that were almost immediately behind you, is where he resides. Like a dragon underneath a mountain with his pile of gold, gold like secrets you'd say.
It was around 12 p.m. About lunch time for Mr. Kim and yourself. You'd always have the kitchens below deliver his lunch to his office while you waited outside at your desk to eat yours. But this time, when you knock with hot soup and meat in hand, he doesn't answer.
You knock again, no answer. You wonder if you should just leave him a text message. No, you thought. From the first time you met him in your interview with him, to officially receiving the job - he has always told you, whenever you needed him, to go straight to him.
But you didn't need him, you just needed to give him his food. You stand there, feet firmly planted into the ground, your breathing getting shorter. What could go wrong, you thought. Just say excuse me, give him his food and get out of there.
You took a deep breath, knocked once more and let yourself in. The room is big, adorned with navy blue color painted on the walls with expensive monochromatic art pieces lined beautifully and two statues of white marble dragons in the corners by his big black wooden desk. The large ceiling tall windows, with the view of the city of Seoul really pulled the room together. You took a step further, your heels meeting the soft plush gray carpet that's in the middle of the white tile flooring. Two black leather facing his desk, the back of his own leather swivel chair, is faced away from you.
You take notice of a small glass cup that was empty but you can see the coloring of the recent drink he has recently drank, brown. Whiskey of some sorts you believe, knowing Mr. Kim has always texted you to buy whiskey for his clients who request meetings with him. You crept closer. Placing the hot soup with the meats onto the table, trying to not disturb him.
"Hi, Mr. Kim. Your food is ready," you whisper. No answer. You slowly move around the desk, to see if your CEO is still alive. But there he was, his beautiful tan skin, his plump lips and his black hair that framed his face oh so perfectly. He was asleep.
You linger for a moment, looking at him. He's wearing a two piece all blacked out suit. He looks tired to you. You know with all of the meetings in the last couple of days with international affairs, especially with trying to dip his toes into the music industry with a new artist can be difficult and it's finally caught up with him.
Seeing him sleep is peaceful to you. You could take a picture if you wanted to but all I can do is soak up the silence and his beauty.
"You know, if you're just going to stand there you might as well bring your lunch in here and join me," he says. You took a step back and see him sit up a bit while he opened his eyes. His dragon like eyes. They roamed your body as he casually licks his lips from what you assume the long nap he had. "A grey sweater? Are you cold, Y/N?"
You cock your head in confusion all while you look down and remember about the stupid sweater you had to wrap around yourself. "Oh! I am so sorry Mr. Kim. I had a wardrobe malfunction and I just needed a quick fix before trying to tackle all of the scheduling done for today," you say quickly.
"Is that so?" he says. "Well my proposal still stands, grab your lunch and join me. You're already here"
Your thoughts were racing. Oh no, I disturbed him. He's going to shred into me for invading his space, you thought. "O-Of course, sir," you say quickly exiting the luxurious room to your little desk outside. From under your desk was a mini fridge. You grabbed your chicken salad with your black ice cold water bottle and came back into the room with him.
He set one of the guest chairs closer to the large wooden desk, opened one of the boxes and began to blow to cool down his noodles. You quietly, place your lunch in front of him all while pulling out the chair so you sit down. Even when he is sitting up, he towers over you, you rub your legs together. He notices.
"Is that all you brought darling?" he asks. His words sending chills down your spine. A pet name.
"Yeah, I just really need to watch what I eat sometimes . . . I'm sure you noticed," you say, wanting to shrink into the leather seat.
"No, as a matter of fact. I notice the lunches you usually bring in. Have you been eating enough?"
You want to just disappear. It was so invasive, like he can see right through you. While it made you feel this way, you wanted him to pry more. You wanted him to know every part of yourself.
"M-Mr. Kim. I-"
"Namjoon, please call me Namjoon."
"Namjoon sir . . . I . . . uh, it's just been hard when hearing all the comments and people saying things towards me. I just want to make sure that I look good, to make you look good . . . sir."
You look at him, the dragon eyes are back. He's peering into your soul all while you feel so small. He leans forward, hands in front of his face, he cocks his head and sighs. You see how plump his lips are, how sharp his eyes are and how his hands . . . oh his hands and what you would give to feel them.
"I'm sorry, I said too much," you say to try to ease the tension.
"Nothing you say or do will ever make me look bad, darling. Why you should tell me who is making such remarks to my secretary."
Your heart flutters, you expect him to brush off the matter or to even shame you like others have. But, should you really give a name? Nari was an awful woman yes, but this was messing with her income if you were to interject. You hesitate. He notices.
"If you're worried about me firing them. I wouldn't do so, let me ease your mind," he says leaning back his chair, spreading his legs a bit farther apart, eyes still on you. "Give me a name and i'll make sure they will never bother you again."
This time, his voice rumbled in your bones. He meant it, you can tell he did. You open your mouth a bit, he leans in a bit more - awaiting your answer.
"It's this woman who was in the communications division with me from when I first started here as an intern . . . she was also one of the people running to be your secretary when we both saw the internal portal application."
"Ah," he says. Finally happy with your answer.
"You promise you won't get her fired or anything? As much as I dislike her, I don't fancy messing with people's money. That's not something I'd want to do to her."
"You have a good heart," he says, lifting out of his chair to move the food to the side. "Stand with me, Y/N."
Almost like an instinct, you stood with him. He motions for you to come to him and you did. You walk over to his side of the desk and he makes you both look out into the city.
"I read your file a while back, when I first hired you two months ago. Trilingual woman in her early twenties coming to a big hit company like mine. I was intrigued you know?" he says looking down at you.
"That I spoke three different languages? I don't think it's that impressive . . ." you trail off.
"That's not an easy feat, Y/N. You passed all of the communications tests with flying colors, me and my team gave you impossible tasks but you managed to outwit everyone and surprise everyone with how efficient you are. I had to see you."
You blush, you never realized how much at hand Namjoon put into the tests you and others had to make. You felt proud and if you could, you'd call your mom and tell her you made the CEO proud of you. You were beaming and loved the praise he gave you. He notices.
"And when I saw you . . ."
Oh no, here we go. All of a sudden your mood became sullen, he's going to tell you how disappointed he was when he saw you or whatever horrible thing.
"When I saw you, you took my breath away," he says.
"Wha-"
"You are so radiant. Genuinely such joy. I saw how you made your co-workers laugh, you made lunches for everyone and you're just so beautiful."
You felt as if this was a dream. Was the number one bachelor in all of South Korea, the CEO of one of the biggest companies . . . was complimenting you? Your mouth gap open, you took a step back to try to gather everything he just said. Your heart is racing as your face is turning red. He smiles.
"All while, you look great doing it."
That was your boiling point. You had to go, get out of here before he takes too much notice of how much you're unraveling in front of him. Before you could, you felt him behind you. You looked up to see in the big windows, a reflection of you two.
"You know what I see when I look at you?" he asks.
"I, umm . . . someone who can make you proud?" you ask. It was a dumb dumb response you thought to yourself.
"I see a beautiful, sexy young woman," he says while he unties the sweater around your waist and throws it to the side. You can finally see how big your hips are. While fully clothed, you felt exposed. His hands stay on your hips. "Now tell me, what do you see now?"
You wanted to rub your legs together again. Even from the sheer reflection of you two in the window, his eyes are only focused on you. You just nodded your head dumbly in hopes he understands what you're saying yes to.
"Tsk, tsk, tsk . . . use your words, darling."
Your breath hitches, you wanted to curl into a ball and wanted to run. He's seeing right through you, he's toying with you. He knows, he knows how bad you want him. The side glances you two give to each other for weeks and how you always straighten your back when he comes in and out of his office. He knows.
Namjoon was a man full of focus, his job, with his own projects and with his women. Once he saw you, he had to see what you were hiding underneath those clothes. Today was especially hard for him when he saw how short your skirt was and how your sheer black tights looked so snug on your thighs. He had to tear into you, no he needed to tear into you.
"I-I see you want to tear into me," you respond.
He smiles and brings his head in closer to your ear, "You'd be correct." You smile back at him, one of his hands is going for your waist while the other remains on your hip. "You're running the show, darling. Tell me when or when to stop."
Thousands of thoughts are running through your head, you should stop this. You have to stop this, he was your boss, your senior and someone who is much older than you. But the way your heat aches in between your legs, says otherwise.
"I want you to bend me over this table and have your way with me," you breathe out. He smiles, you see that malevolent smile. He kisses the side of your head.
"As you wish."
He hikes up your tight skirt as far as it'll let him, showing him the pink lace colored panties you have. You looked away from the reflection of you, but then his soft lips met yours. He deepens the kiss. He parts and you're breathless once again. His eyes peered into your soul.
"I need you to see how pretty you look," he says, slowly turning your head to the reflection. You cringe on how you look, your thick thighs and how the panties you have have already dampened from how wet you are. "Look at my pretty girl. So beautiful." You buck a bit at his words. Wanting him to touch you more. You needed more, more, more. He unbuttons your long sleeve blouse, one by one slowly making sure you're still looking. He throws your blouse across the room, showing your pink bra.
Your breasts were pushed up so deliciously for him but you were too worried about how your stomach looked, your arms went immediately to cover your mid section. Namjoon takes notice and lifts your arms up. His arms wrap around you.
"My baby looks beautiful, no matter what," he says. He comes from behind you, kneels in front of you and looks up. "Everything, every inch of you is beautiful." He hikes up your skirt more. He's kissing your knee, to lower inner thigh, to your upper thigh now. You had to lean against something, you were getting weak in the knees. You lean back against the large wooden desk as he lifts your left up and propped it on his shoulder. Kissing every inch on your inner thigh.
Your core was heating up, you wanted to beg him to stop teasing you. Namjoon looks up at you and smiles. His hands rides up your thighs all the way to your hips and back in between your thighs again. He goes for the outer layer of your sheer black tights right where your core is. You moan out as he rips the middle of them. Your pink panties in full view in front of him.
"You're this wet already, darling?" You face away until his voice brings you back. "Look at me baby." You turn to look at him. "You're not going to keep your eyes off of me," he says. You nod. "Use your words baby."
"Yes . . . sir," you say. You know you picked the right words because once you said that, he places thumb and glides it over your clit. You moan out softly. Keeping your gaze on him and he's watching you fall apart. He smirks as gently moves your pink panties to the side, getting a full view of your pretty pussy.
"Divine," he says while popping a finger in slowly. You moan out, feeling your slick dripping down your thighs. He's slowly reaching inside of you, making your squirm in his grasp. You wanted more, you needed more.
Another finger. His ring finger along with the middle finger inside of you slowly pumping in and out while his thumb grazed over your clit occasionally. You were unraveling, moaning his name, moaning swears. He found it amusing that you never broke eye contact with him, Namjoon needed to test you more.
In a swift motion, his plump lips attacked your core. You cry out and grip the table behind you. Needing some stability. "Ah fuck!" you cry.
His tongue is dancing around your clit and moving down to your hole where his fingers reside. You never break the view you're seeing. His dragon eyes peering into your soul like he wanted it. He wanted to take everything from you and make it his . . . and the way he was eating you out, you'd let him.
You feel yourself on the brink of coming. You had to let him know, let him know he makes you feel good. "N-Namjoon, I can't hold it anymore!" you scream.
He detaches and as he stares at you he says, "Be a good girl and finish for me."
You about lost it, his fingers pumping in faster with his tongue dancing now on your clit. You cry out. You run your fingers through his soft black hair, wanting to pull on it. You restrain yourself and simply press into him more. "I-I can't do it anymore. I'm coming!" you cry out feeling a wave of pleasure wash over you. Your eyes rolling back and you fully lean on the desk.
He leans up to kiss you and you accept. You taste yourself on his tongue. It's so sinful, yet it feels so right. Both of your tongues dance in and out of each other's mouths. He begins to unhook your bra and throws it across the room. Your nipples are ready for him to play with. He looks down, kissing your neck, your chest and then down to your right breast. Popping your nipple into his mouth he begins to circle around your nipple and with his other hand playing with the other. Your knees buck but you also wanted to do something for him.
You made him look at you. He was taken a back. A bit surprised as you slowly descend down on your knees. Seeing the tenting in his black slacks. You peer up at him, his face filled with amusement.
"I want to also make you feel good," you say.
He smiles, he decides to lean back into his own swivel leather chair, spreading his knees apart. Inviting you in. "Go on then," he says.
You crawl to him, a sight he was happy to see. Your plump bottom is in the air and way your breasts bounce. He wanted to just say fuck it, grab you and fuck you on the floor. But he knows with a woman like you, you need time and he was so willing to give you plenty.
You crawl and finally plant your knees on the ground. You fumble with his thin black belt and his zipper but you got it down. His thick long hard cock sprang out almost hitting his stomach from just the sheer length he had. You swallow, a bit intimidated on how it looks. He was most definitely bigger than anyone you've been with before.
"I want to taste you," you say to him, softly gripping his cock and pumping your hand up and down. He groans softly which only makes you so much wetter.
"Take me in that pretty mouth of yours then darling," he says leaning further back. You couldn't take it. You spit onto his throbbing cock and swirl your tongue around the tip. Just as he has done to you, you'll do to him. "Ah, fuck," he whispers. "Y/N, fuck."
You took him into your mouth as you could try to swallow as much as you could of him. You bobbed your head up and down, letting your tongue swirl around and your saliva dripping onto his pants. Namjoon was about to lose it. The sight of you was something to behold. He never thought a woman he had his eyes on for months is now under him, taking him so perfectly. Mine, mine, mine he thought to himself. She is mine.
He's groaning and it's making you so wet, you wanted him, you needed him inside of you and he could tell by the way your other hand has left his shaft and he can see you playing with yourself. Namjoon couldn't take it anymore. He grabs your face and lifts you up to kiss him.
You deepen the kiss and then bite his bottom lip. He takes a look at you, smirks and bites your bottom lip back and pulls, causing you to moan in his mouth.
He grips your bottom as he lifts you up onto the table with such ease you puts you into shock and excitement. He's towering over you, taking off his work jacket along with his silk black button up. His body is godly, tan and ripped and seeing his cock basically line up with your entrance is the only mental image you needed to save in your head. You could come from just the sight of him alone.
He slowly, yet softly pushes you down to lay on your back and hiking your legs on his shoulders. He leans down, your face to face with him.
"You're in charge here. Say the color red if you want me to stop or if I'm hurting you. Say the color green if I am good, okay baby?" he asks. You nod your head. "Use your words," he demands.
"Green, sir."
"Good."
He rubs himself against your entrance and you're just waiting, you moan and groan as for him to hurry up. He sees you're eager, so is he but he just wants to drink in every moment, every facial expression you're making . . . he wants to savor the moment he first enters you.
"Namjoon, make me yours," you say as you flutter your eyes towards him causing him to become painfully hard. He can't take it.
He slides in, causing your back to arch and ache against the wooden table. He's filling you to the brim with his cock. He's panting and looking down at your face. You want to turn away, embarrassed on how full you are but his eyes remain trained on you.
"What color baby?"
You moan out, "Green sir."
That's all he needs before he starts sliding in and out of you. He's picking up the pace and all you can feel is him, think of him and look at him. Namjoon filled your senses with just the idea of him. His hard thick cock rocking in and out of you causing your breasts to bounce in his face. With his hand he starts to pull and twist at one of your nipples causing you to moan out his name.
"Namjoon, fuck- please, more!"
He smirks, fucking you harder and faster pounding into your sweet pussy. Making the sweetest noise for him. He too is unraveling. He lets go of your nipple and runs his hands down your stomach and finds your clit again. "Come, come with me this time," he says, rubbing his finger over your clit.
You're turning red, spewing swears and having your eyes filled with just him. His black hair swinging over his brows and eyes as he's fucking into you cashing his own high. His plump lips being bitten down because all he can look at is you and your body.
He slides all the way in this time, hitting your cervix and you cry out. Back arching and toes curling. "Namjoon! I'm coming!" you scream. He leans over, shutting you up with a kiss and then he presses his forehead against yours.
"Come, come with me," he says not moving out all the way but moves so the majority of him is still inside and your clit is still being played with. He's groaning, moaning. "Fuck, you have no idea what you do to me, Y/N. You're a fucking dream. I can't wait to fuck you," he says, pushing deeper. "Over," he pushes further, "And over again," he finally says, groaning as you both have a wave of pleasure washed over you both.
You both are panting. His head buried in between your breasts, you chuckle. He looks up at you and smiles. You both share a quick kiss.
"I'm guessing, I'm having my lunch breaks in here from now huh?"
He smirks, appreciating your joke after the intensity you both shared. "I'd be damned if you start having lunch with another man," he joked back. "You're my pretty girl, mine now."
"What am I going to tell Jia now that I'm spending my lunch time with you now?"
He ponders for a moment and shrugs. "Oh, the lies we'll tell them, it's going to be fun and it'll be our little secret, darling."
#bts x reader#namjoon#namjoon x reader#bangtan#bts#knj x reader#RM#rm x y/n#knj smut#bts rm smut#bts rm x reader#bts rm imagine#namjoon x y/n#namjoon x you#bangtan sonyeondan#bangtan fanfic#rm x reader#rm bangtan#kim namjoon
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Here’s the request for Joonie!
#dirty kpop snaps#kpop snaps#dirtysnaps#kim namjoon#kim namjoon smut#bts namjoon#bts namjoon smut#bts rm#bts rm smut#bts#bts smut
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Work Pleasures
Namjoon x fem!reader
Your best friend suggests a new way for you to make extra cash and your office had the perfect background, but the vent system makes things take an interesting turn.
18+!!! MDNI
warnings/what to expect: sex toy play, pet names: daddy & slut, rough sex, spanking, cum shots, unprotected sex, dom male, recording during sex, partial creampie, lots of dirty talk
BTS & SKZ FIC REQUETS: OPEN
writers note:
yes hello, did I try a new writing style again? yes. please let me know what you think, id' really appreciate it. I read through this once but ya girl aint the brightest so forgive me for grammar and spelling mistakes. ANYWAYSSS i hope you like it
cas xx
Counseling at the high school wasn't cutting it anymore. Between bills, car payments and food, life was getting more and more expensive. Maybe that's how you found yourself in this position, parading around your office, after school hours, in a lacey bra, an oversized dress shirt and short plaid skirt. The camera was low enough to not show your face, but the viewers could still tell you were in some sort of office space. "You seriously think this will work?" You questioned, speaking to your best friend who was on the other line of the phone. It was her idea after all, since her sister had made a pretty good chunky of money from OnlyFans. "Yes, and Mel is gonna promo you on her page so you'll get attention right away." You groan quietly at her response, quickly ending the call and setting your phone up as a second angle.
You tried to keep your moans quiet as the rabbit vibrator worked slowly on you, your free hand playing with one of your breasts as you whispered pet names to the camera, just another thing your friend had suggested. "Fuck Daddy." You moan firmly, arching your back slightly in the chair as you felt your climax approaching.
"You know-" A voice suddenly interrupted, causing you to shoot up in your chair and quickly turn off and stash the toy in your desk. You felt your cheeks burn red, jumping up to turn off the camera and hiding your exposed chest. Fuck. I'm finished." You turn slowly, hands gripping tightly at the edge of your shirt. Principal Joon stood tall in the door way, and to your surprise, was smirking. In your 3 years at the school, you swore you never saw the man even crack from his usual stone face. "The vent -" His finger pointed towards the vent, directly behind your desk as he stepped in the room, his keys being tossed aside as he closed the door behind him. You clenched your thighs together, the throbbing feeling returning to your clit as he walked slowly towards you. "It leads to my office, and you aren't very quiet Ms. Y/n"
What do you even say in a situation like this? More importantly, what do you do? Your eyes shyly scan the taller man, who's hair was messy compared to the usual slicked back, his brown eyes looking at you with desire as his fingers worked at his belt, the bulge in this pants being the main point of attraction for your eyes. You let your gaze fall to the ground, starting to feel innocent of all things, like it wasn't a problem that you were masturbating in your office. "I'm sorry Principal Joon, I promise it's a one time thing. It won't happen again." You played into the persona, flashing puppy dog eyes as you let the dress shirt drop open, allowing your breasts to expose. What were you thinking. Did you really get yourself that worked up? A single laugh escaped his lips as he closed in, his pants now slightly undone and his belt positioned on his hand. “Still, bad girls need to be punished.”
Principal Joon smirked down at you as you stare at his cock, thick, veiny and the perfect length, your hand pumping it slowly as you explained yourself in a sweet voice, his facial expressions reacting with small laughs and smiles when you mentioned OnlyFans and needing the extra cash. His hand balled in your hair, guiding your face closer to him as his hand replaced yours, stroking his cock. “I'm sure a pretty slut like you would do very well.” Principal Joon smirked, one hand jerking himself and the other holding your head back, eyes directly on him. “So let’s make you some money.” His words grunted as a stream of cum flew on your face, coating your lips as cheek. You happily cleaned it up with your hands and swallowed every bit you could.
Pulling you towards him, Principal Joon gently grabbed your jaw, his lips lingering near yours, “slut” he smirked, his lips pushing into yours, his coffee breathe hot against against you as his hands trail to your hips, rolling them into his as he moved you towards your desk. There’s no going back now. Might as well make it worth it. “Am I still going to punished, sir?” You question, your bottom lip sticking out slightly as your fingers worked to unbutton his shirt, exposing his rock hard abs. Principal Joon's grip tightened on your waist, shooting an evil grin at you before turning you around and pushing you against the desk, bare bottom exposed. His large hand slapped down firmly, sending an echo through the room. “You were a bad girl. You need to be punished.” He spoke firmly, another slap landing on your ass, causing you to wince.
Principal Joon didn’t let up with the teasing. Bringing you to the edge of orgasm before leaving you high and dry for a few minutes, only to start again. This really is a punishment, leaving you throbbing and cock hungry. Your ass was red with slap marks, pussy swollen and wet from his fingers working on it vigorously. “Please sir” you whimper, turning slightly to see the male, your puppy dog eyes shooting him a look as your hips rocked slowly. “Please fuck me, I need your cock.” You begged, your hand reaching towards your core as you spread your pussy lips apart, a finger teasing your entrance for him. His hand smacked down on your ass again, the sting making your hips jerk. “You think you deserve it?” He questioned, his hand slowly pumping his cock as he ran it slowly over your entrance, to your clit where he rubbed it slowly, “You’ve been such a bad girl already and bad girls shouldn’t be rewarded.” He smirked, his cock actions repeating their movements, his tip pushing in you just the tiniest bit. You moaned quietly at the feeling of flesh on flesh, your body wanting more of him inside you. Was he always this attractive? Why haven’t you thought about fucking him before? Why are you suddenly so desperate for him. A million thoughts ran though your head as you laid out, waiting for Principal Joon to make his next move.
To your surprise Principal Joon grabbed your phone to film his view, two fingers sliding easily into you. “You think you can handle this big cock?” His words made you shiver, your hips uncontrollably pushing into his fingers, wanting more. “Such a little slut.” He teased, removing his fingers and slapping your ass firmly once again. Finally, he shoved his cock deeply into you, a small whimper escaping your lips as he started thrust, giving you no time to adjust to how big he actually was. “Fuck Daddy, you feel so good” you whine, hands gripping the edge of the desk as he paddled away at your ass, the marks already burning but still exciting you each time. Principal
Joon was a lot rougher than the other people you had been with and he made you tell him exactly how everything felt. Suddenly, you felt Principal Joon bottom out inside you as he reached forward, placing the phone on some books so you were both in view. His hand balled into your hair, hips slamming into you at close rang so you could feel just how big he was. “This one’s just for me. I like watching my little slut get fucked.” he whispered in your ear, his lips pressing into your temple as your walls started to tighten around him. His little slut? You could get used to that.
His hand covered your mouth, muffling your moans as he pounded into you, each thrust a masterclass in raw ecstasy as you peaked, body shaking with pleasure as juices leaked from your pussy. “Good girl.” He groaned, his thrusts only letting up the smallest bit as your body vibrated. He kept himself fully inside you as he reached for the phone again, tossing it to the side and turning all his attention to you. His hand moved some hair from your face, lips reaching over to find yours, deep passionate kisses being exchanged as his thrusts slowed, each stroke making you twitch with pleasure. His teeth found your shoulder as his thrusts picked up again, bites and kisses being placed randomly. “Does my good girl deserve to get her pussy filled?” His words were hot against your ear, lips now working at your neck. It made you shiver and happily moan. “Or am I going to make a mess on that pretty little face again?” He questioned, his cock pulling out mostly but leaving enough to keep you pleased. What the fuck do I say? Think, quick! Sure, you have had fantasies like this but now…being put on the spot. Your mind was blank. “Whatever makes you happy Daddy.” You finally say, your eyes glancing up at the man who’s hands ran over your body, gently rubbing the fresh marks he had left on you.
“Are you planning on keeping Daddy happy?” He questioned, his eyes locking with yours as a smirk creeped onto his lips. Principal Joon pulled you up from the desk, turning you to face him as he kissed you once more, sending tingles through out your already exhausted body. He leaned into you as his lips worked on yours, positioning you on the edge of the desk. The dark pink head of his member rubbed your clit slowly, soft moans escaping your lips as he pushed in and brought himself back to your lips. “Answer me.” He demanded, though his voice was soft and his eyes looked at you weakly. It’s just a fuck buddy. Bri did say you needed one. “Yes Daddy” you quietly reply, lips finding his once more. It only took a few more thrusts until you felt Principal Joon‘s cock twitch inside you, thick cum escaping his length before he pulled out, emptying the rest of his load on your stomach. His lips stayed on yours, slow kisses being exchanged as your bodies both settled.
“You sure you want that online?” He teased, his fingers working to button his shirt as you cleaned up. “I just don’t want your friends getting jealous.” Principal Joon moved towards you with your jacket in hand. “Jealous?” You question, allowing him to help you put it on before turning to face the man. His cheeky little smirk returned to his lips again, one finger making your head tilt up to gaze into his eyes. “Mhm- I’m sure none of your friends will be getting fucked as good as you.” His lips pressed into yours once more before you both exited. Maybe this wasn’t a bad idea after all. He did leave you soaking and weak in the knees. Principal Joon walked you to your car, a hand firmly gripping your waist to keep you stable. He opened the door for you before pressing another kiss into your lips. “Don’t forget to send me that video” he said against your lips.
#part of me wants to make this a series YIKES#NAMJOON IM SORRY IM SO SORRY BUT IM NOT#bts fanfic#bts smut#kpop fanfic#kpop smut#bts x reader#bts fic#bts au#bts rm smut#bts namjoon smut#kim namjoon#rm#rm smut#rm fanfic#smut#bts x female reader
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⋆𐙚₊˚⊹ college crush!joon ⋆𐙚₊˚⊹ *nsfw*
series m.list // taglist request: closed
🏷️ permanent taglist: @joonsjuice @taetaecatboy @pb-n-juju @miss-rainy-days @firesighgirl @whoa-jo @vantxx95 @pamzn @kakixaku @casspirit0705 @tae165 @defzcl @leefics @ggukkieland @bebebutbetter @yoongimentita7 @boraength @era-genius @4ksj @vampcharxter @miss-jupiter @floweryjeons @taegijns @jeonqkooks-main @rrosiitas @jkslvsnella @parkinglot-nights @kissyfacekoo
//
college crush!joon is the type to meet you after class and pretend like he didn't sneak out of a lab just to see you. he'd ask his friends to cover him and his profs turned the other cheek since he's a good kid. it's not like he'd be leaving class early for stupid reasons, right?
college crush!joon walks inches away from you. usually, his hands are shoved in his pockets while you leave yours lingering in case he wants to take it. he does. he's just too shy right now. maybe next time.
college crush!joon expects you to see you at a party. as he waits, he greets everyone he knows. when you walk in, you catch him hugging a girl a little too long for your liking. it can't be helped. you sulk. your smile turns into a small frown and just as you turn to avoid him, he pushes his way through the crowd. "yah, ___!" he slurs as he pulls you in by your waist. as you huff, he chases your eyes. "don't be jealous," joon says desperately. "i'm too tipsy to act nonchalant. might say things i mean. might do things i've been meaning to do." you blink at him. "i'm not jealous." is all you have to say. he laughs before leaning in, slumping his body onto yours. like reflex, you wrap your arms around him. "but if i were... i wouldn't have any reason to be, right?" you ask softly, unsure if you even said it loud enough for him to hear. you feel his hearty chuckle against your body. he pats your head and kisses your neck. he's never done that before. shivers go down your spine. "babe, if i wanted a reaction from you, it wouldn't be through jealousy."
college crush!joon is a man of his word. it wasn't the night of the party, but a few nights after. he came over and then he really came over. as joon finishes the last bit of his soju, you giggle and straddle him. on top, you begin to grind your pussy against his buldge. his jeans are peeled off and the thin fabric of your panties make it easy to feel his cock harden. as you run your fingers in between his boxers waist band, he reaches over to kiss your neck. he kisses it softly and then with intent to leave a mark. you moan as he bites your skin, feeling the sensation of being so close to him. as he does this, you grind on him faster and faster. "holy fuck, i could cum right now." he moans, "can i get my dick out?" you shake your head. "n-no. i just want to do this..." he gulps. "you just want to dry hump me until i cum?" you shrug. "until i cum too." he can't think straight. it's okay if you didn't want to fuck just yet... besides, you two are kind of drunk... so this is good. this is better than good. this is fucking—"you haven't even asked me out. you don't deserve my pussy." you tease, as you cup his face. you mean it though. he offers you a lazy smile, trying his best not to cum just yet. but you look at him with pleading eyes and it makes him go crazy. "bad boy," you slap him. "such a bad fucking boy. you want this pussy? be good to me." he nods, biting his lip from how hot you are in this very moment. "i promise," he says hastly. smiling, you take his hands and hold them for stability. grinding, humping, and fucking his cock that keeps being slapped against his abdomen is too much. there's so much heat between you two. there's so much fucking wetness that soaks both of your fabrics. it's sticky. it's so fucking loud too. he's going to burst. then, you moan, throw your head back, and it must be a god sent moment because your dress straps fall from your shoulders, causing the front to flop down. revealing your breasts, he can't help but watch the way they bounce. without a thought, he buries his face in between your breast. you giggle at the initial ticklish feeling, but quickly feel flustered when he sucks on your nipples. "make me cum," you cry. "make me cum and i'll suck your cock so good, joon. i p-promise." he smirks, making the deal. he then takes a fistful of your hair and tugs it down. he begins to roll his hips against you, and the pace is just perfect. he moans into your ear, he bites your collarbone, he sucks your tits some more—then, you cum. you spill yourself all over your panties and it leaks over his boxers. quickly, you get off of him and go on your knees. tugging his jeans lower, you take his cock out of his boxers and grip them with your two hands. "so b-big," you salivate. "two hands.. oh god. when you fuck me, will you even fit?" your words have him dizzy. he can't even process what you said before you go right into it. you kiss the tip before engulfing it you have nothing to lose. it's like you didn't just cum moments ago. how do you move that fast? as you bob your head, joon can't help but feel his stomach twitch. you suck his dick so good. you suck it like he always thought you would—better even. better because it's real. better because he cums for real. as he spills himself inside your mouth and catches his breath, you swallow and wipe the excess cum off of your lips. " keep your promise, joon... or i'll never suck your dick again."
college crush!joon is annoying. since that night... well, he's been avoiding you. you cried about it the other night. you thought he was different... instead, he's a promise breaker. fuck him. as you're dismissed from class, you can't help but wonder where it went downhill. did you suck his dick wrong or something? were you too demanding? did he not get it? he's so fucking annoying. as you exit the building, for the first time in 2 weeks, you see him. he's talking to another girl. you want to throw a tantrum. instead, you turn your cheek and continue to walk away. then, as you go, you feel his presence catch up to you. "hey." he greets you. you ignore him. "okay, yeah, i'm a dick. i know. i should've called. i should've texted... but i didn't. my bad. i was figuring things out—" you stop walking. he cuts in front of you. "i'm sorry, ___. a group member complained about me always skipping the last portion of lab and i got into some shit with my profs. i got all stressed and not to mention—i've been wrecking my mind trying to figure out the perfect way to ask you out. i want to do that, okay? i want to take you on a date. i should've said it earlier. i should've kept my promise... i'm sorry. please, can you give me a second chance?" he begs. you gulp, feeling uneasy. "f-fine," you agree. "but i'm not sucking your dick no matter how much you impress me with the date. i'm still mad at you." joon's lips curve into a smile. he puts his hands up and laughs. "all good," he reassures you. "i wanna do this right. wanna love you right. you never have to suck my dick ever again—" your eyes widen. "n-no. i will. i want to. it was fun. it was big—" he covers your mouth with his hand. "shhh," he blushes. "how about you just let me hold your hand for now? yeah? let's start there." he takes your hand, intertwining your fingers together. your heart flutters as you two walk side by side. he isn't shy anymore and you... you aren't as mad. maybe it's whatever. maybe you should suck his dick later for the plot.
#bts smut#nam joon smut#nam joon scenario#rm imagine#bts rm fanfic#bts rm blurb#bts rm smut#joon fluff#joon college au#bts college au
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Daddy Joon~ May I please cockwarm you? I promise to stay still and quiet while you work on your music 🥺
Genre: Lovely Smut
Pairing: Kim Namjoon (Rm) and Female Reader
"You're so sweet and tempting moonlight, you know a good work day for me are those with you there. But I really shouldn't a few of the guys and a few producers, you remember Slowrabbit right? We're going to be drinking and talking a lot together...and it can be pretty wild, and you're a pretty delicate ray of moonlight, it's not really your kind of crowd. Would you really be okay with that, if you're a good girl during it I'll make you feel amazing afterward okay?"
-Kim Namjoon (Rm)
#answered#kim namjoon smut#bts rm smut#bts smut#bangtan smut#kpop smut#bts roleplay#bts smut roleplay#bangtan sonyeondan smut#Kpop smut#Kpop idold smut#bangtan roleplay#bts scenarios#bangtan scenarios#kim namjoon drabble#kim namjoon scenarios
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♡museum dates with Namjoon♡
#namjoon imagine#bts namjoon#kim namjoon#kim namjoo icons#rkive#bts rm moodboard#bts rm headers#bts rm smut#rm bts#museum#museum date#date#namjoon fluff#namjoon instagram#joonie#i would fire the ice if this 28 y/o man asked me for museum date!#do you think he actually wants to recreate the painting of lovers with his lover?#namjoon is the standard#moon#namjin aesthetic#namjoon messy icons#namjoon moodboard#namjoon#namjoon icons#namjoon iq#bts moodboard#bts imagines#btsedit#run bts#bts au
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Enough is Enough
Pairing- Namjoon x Named Reader
Word count- 4.6k
Includes- Namjoon is jealous, unrequited love, public sex, cock riding, pussy eating, cum eating, missionary, multiple orgasms, fluff
Tag List- @mingtina @jaxxmine @yeosayang @delightfulmoonbanana @tannie13 @y00nzin0 @marsstarxhwa
@borntowalkaway @soulseobi05 @kpop-bambi @seokwoosmole @meowmeowminnie @realisticnotes @effielumiere @svnbangtansworld @pinkies-things @insomniacatiny
Gif Credit- @Jung-Koook
Masterlists- check out for more fics
📝Masterlists 📝BTS Masterlist 📝Namjoon Masterlist
J POV
I look up at the stage watching my best friend rap his part in BTS' new song
Namjoon asked me to come to their comeback but this time I wanted to be in the crowd for their performance
I'm always backstage and very rarely I get to experience the whole concert performance vibe every ARMY says is amazing
He argued with me but I put my foot down and he finally relented as long as I had a bodyguard with me and stayed in the front where he could watch me
As if he could do anything if anything did go down
I know he's worried about my safety but it's fine
No one except the staff knows me
In the crowd I'm just another ARMY
I've never been in any photos with Namjoon, nor any of the members, that have been released, so I'm good
I sing along with the song, jumping up and down, yelling his name like a fan girl
Because well I am
"Namjoon!", I scream
He glances at me yelling and rolls his eyes, a small smile forming on his face
Yeah he likes the attention
He'll never admit it but he likes it
If only he knew I'd give him all my attention anytime he wanted it
But I'm not going there again
One humiliation during high school was enough
He found out about my feelings, never said anything or talked to me about it then got a girlfriend a week later
If that doesn't scream friendzone then I don't know what will
Unrequited love sucks but at least he's still my best friend
The song draws to a close and they run off stage
But I know it's just for a wardrobe change
They have another song to perform
As I wait with the rest of the ARMYS, I send Namjoon a quick text
"You were great Joonie! Can't wait for the next song!"
I'm not expecting him to answer back because, hello he's changing and he has to get all the equipment back on really fast
So I'm surprised when my phone rings
It's just a smiley face with the cheeks pink ☺️ but still, he answered
I didn't even know he had his phone close by
I figured he'd read the text after the second performance when we're all back in the viewing room and I'd make fun of him
Like normal
Well, whatever
It's not a big deal
After a few minutes, BTS comes back on stage and gets into their positions for the next song
One of my favorites
Run BTS
Namjoon is dressed all in black, his black hair falling in his face and my heart beats faster
God, he's so hot
'Stop', I scold myself, 'Just pay attention to the song'
Shoving all unwanted through about Namjoon away, I focus on the guys as the music starts
Jungkook starts it and all of us in the crowd sing along with a majority of the girls around me just screaming for him
Each one of these girls would kill me if they knew he's my dorky friend
I gotta admit he looks so cool on stage
They all do and it's hilarious how much of a bunch of total dorks they all are in real life
Jungkook comes back to the center to sing the chorus and just for fun I scream, "Jungkook!" along with the girls, jumping and waving at him as if I don't know him
Being in the crowd is fun
"Jungkook!", I yell again
Namjoon's head immediately turns to me as I scream Jungkook's name again, his jaw clenched and he actually looks pissed off
I have no clue what that's about
I yell his name too
The chorus ends and Yoongi is up next with Namjoon, Jimin and Jungkook moving to my side of the stage to wait for their cues to go back
"Yoongi!", I scream, waving my hands and jumping while he raps
Namjoon is up next
When I glance at him, he's standing with his arms crossed, a scowl on his face, his eyes on me
Ok what the hell?
Did I do something wrong?
Jungkook nudges him and his demeanor immediately changes as he gets into place for his part
He raps and I yell his name like I did for the other guys but he doesn't look over at me again
I push away the bad feeling I'm having and enjoy the rest of the song, singing along
Namjoon stands on a built part of the stage, doing his part as the song winds down
It ends with him in the middle, giving a sexy smoldering stare, the guys surrounding him
I clap and cheer with the crowd as they guys wave at us then one by one head backstage
"C'mon", the bodyguard says lowly and starts heading for a door near the back of the room
I slip out of the crowd, eager fans taking my space immediately as they wait for the next group to perform
As I follow the guard, I hope everything is ok with Namjoon
I don't know what I did to upset him but I don't want him to be mad
He should be happy after performing, feeling like he did a good job
Which he did and I'll remind him of that
The bodyguard opens the door to the viewing room and I step in
I immediately see Namjoon across the room, pacing back and forth
What is wrong with him?
"Hey Jo!", Jungkook smiles, waving at me
"Hi Kookie", I greet, smiling at him
Namjoon's head snaps up, his eyes on mine, a hard look on his face and I'm not gonna lie, I'm intimidated
He strides over to me and I'm worried about the confrontation that's about to happen
I steel myself as he gets closer
"Enough is enough", he growls
I'm expecting a shit storm so color me surprised when as soon as he gets to me, his hand moves to the back of my neck and he pulls me towards him, his lips crashing into mine
It takes me a second to register what's happening
'He's kissing you', my brain screams, 'Namjoon is kissing you'
Once that sinks in, I don't even question anything and immediately kiss him back
His arms wrap around my waist, pulling me against him, his tongue licking my lip
As soon as I open my mouth, his tongue is against mine, playing and we both let out the most embarrassing moans
"Yeah I'm out", Jungkook says
"I'm coming too", Jimin chimes in
I hear the guys footsteps as they pass us but I can't do anything but kiss Namjoon
He's completely taken over me
"Lock the door Hobi", Yoongi tell him
Lock the door?
Why?
I hear the door closed and I assume it's just me and Namjoon left here
As soon as the door closes, Namjoon's hands are on my thighs, lifting me up
I wrap my legs around him, my arms moving around his neck
He walks over to the couch, sitting down on it, his lips never leaving mine
I don't know what's got into him but I'm not questioning it
His hands move to my back, his fingers unzipping my dress
Holy shit
What the fuck is happening?
I, however, don't stop a damn thing he's doing and actually help him by moving my arms through the dress sleeves
He separates from my mouth for the second it takes to get the dress off me, then he's right back to kissing me
And I'm aware I'm just in my
underwear and bra
Well if I'm gonna be undressed, so is he
I push the jacket he's wearing back and down his arms, him moving to help me get it off him
I kiss him, my tongue in his mouth as I shove his black t-shirt up, touching his hard muscles of his abs and broad chest
He's so fucking big, it's such a turn on
I keep tugging his shirt but his arms stay locked around me, kissing me desperately, like he's never going to again
Which I really don't know if he is
"Joonie", I whine, pressing kisses to his lips, "Off"
He moves his arms through the sleeves, then pulls away only long enough for me to get the shirt over his head, then again, mouth right against mine
His hands move to my back, slowly sliding up, his fingers leaving fire racing across every piece of skin he touches
He gets to my bra, undoing it like a pro and tossing it away
Of course his hands immediately cup my boobs, squeezing softly, his thumbs running over my nipples and making me even wetter than I am already
He breaks away from my lips only to attach his mouth to my nipple, sucking harshly
"Namjoon", I moan, pleasure hitting me
My hips move on their own, rubbing against his....holy shit....his hard on
He's hard?
Because of me?
I can't believe it
He switches nipples, his free hand slipping right into my panties, fingers running along my pussy
"Fuck", he groans against my nipple, "So wet"
Of course I am
The man I always wanted is kissing me, groping me, sucking on my nipple and touching my cunt
Of course I'm soaked
And I need more, I realize
I need him
This...while it's great, isn't cutting it
Grabbing his hand, I pull it out of my underwear and he actually whines, making my head spin with shock
Getting it together, I quickly undo his belt, getting his pants open
He crashes his lips back against mine, kissing me as he lifts himself up pulling his pants and boxers down, then moves his legs to get his sneakers and the rest of his bottom clothes off
Then he pulls me down on him, right against his hard dick
Goddamn, he feels so fucking big
His hands move to my panties, a tearing sound filling the room
The next thing I know my panties are gone and I'm sitting on his hard dick
Oh my god, this is really happening
"Sit on my cock", he murmurs against my lips, "Please baby. I've been dying to feel you around me baby"
His words are making my brain stutter
He's been dying to feel me on him?
Since when?
"Please", he begs and fuck me that's so hot
Lifting myself up, I reach between us and hold his cock up
Jesus, it feels massive and fucking thick
His hands grip my hips as I sink down on him, getting his head in
He breaks the kiss, his head falling back against the couch, moaning so loudly
"More baby. More"
I slowly push down, his thick cock spreading me wide open
Seriously, I've never had a dick open my pussy this much
Just feeling him slip inside, rubbing everywhere is insane
"Fuck", I whisper, shivers running up my back, the pleasure intense, just from getting him in
"All of me baby. Please. Take me all"
Oh I definitely will
I push down more until I'm finally sitting against his legs, his cock so deep inside
I clench him hard, making him moan, feeling how he's perfectly against every spot inside me
His eyes open, his head lifting to look at me
"You feel so fucking good", he groans, his hands squeezing my hips hard, "Fuck, so tight. Choking my cock"
I nod, "So big Joonie. Feels really good"
"Good baby. Wanna be good for you"
"You are", I assure him
He smiles, then pulls me to him, kissing me
We kiss for a few minutes, just feeling each other, getting used to each other
I can't help but clench on him so tightly
It's like my pussy has a mind of it's own, throbbing around him
He's hard as a rock and I can feel every part of his cock inside me
"Ride me", he murmurs against my lips
Not a problem
Keeping my arms around his neck, my lips on his, I slide up his cock to his head
Shit, his dick is long and so fucking fat
Dropping down his shaft, I take him all in, his cock spreading my hole so wide, my pussy full of him
"Oh my fucking god", he groans, his hands gripping my hips hard
Slipping up and down his cock, I bounce on him fast and hard, absolutely loving the way his cock feels, how hard he is, how massive he is
And the pleasure is so fucking incredible, it's insane
"Yes baby girl", he moans, his eyes watching me ride him, "Fuck you're so fucking beautiful baby. Riding my cock so fucking well. You feel so good baby"
"Joonie", I whimper as I fuck him, lifting his face to mine and kissing him wildly
His kiss matches my fervor, his hands moving to my ass, squeezing and helping me jump up and down his dick
I'm so fucking wet, it's insane, his fat head hitting my spot again and again
I never felt this much pleasure before
Of course it's him
I knew it was him
"God you're so wet", he murmurs, pressing a kiss to my neck, "It's all for me?"
"Yeah Joonie", I confirm, getting closer with each move, my cunt squeezing the life from his cock
"Fuck, you're getting so tight. Feels so good opening you up", he groans, "Gonna cum for me?"
I nod, sliding my hands into his sweaty black hair, holding on
"Scream my name baby"
I bounce a few more times, his cock sending me right into my orgasm
Pure bliss explodes in body, my body shaking hard, screaming his name
"Namjoon! Namjoon!"
"Yes, fuck", he growls, moving me up and down his cock, fucking me through my orgasm, "Yell for me baby"
I do, his name just falling from my lips so naturally
"That's right baby. Scream my name. No one else's. Not Jungkook or Yoongi or anyone. You scream only my name", he growls, "Got it?"
"Yes", I nod, it registering through the pleasure that he was jealous when I yelled his members names
That's why he was so upset on stage
He was jealous
That is shocking in itself and hard to wrap my head around
As the pleasure fades, I sit fully down on his cock, grinding on him, breathing hard
God that was fucking amazing
The next thing I know, Namjoon turns, laying me on my back, pulling out and making me whine from the loss of him
He, however, spreads my legs wide open, his tongue licking me like crazy
"Oh god", I moan, intense bliss running all over
"Fuck, tastes so good", he groans, his tongue sliding on my slit, inbetween my pussy lips, "Such sweet cream baby. I knew you'd taste this good. I knew it"
Well I had no idea
But he seems to be enjoying it
I lift my head to watch him and fuck he looks so good in-between my legs
Really enjoying it
And so am I
The top of his tongue flicks my clit and I moan from the spike in pleasure
"More Joonie"
"Here baby?", he asks, running his tongue along my clit, starting with the flat of his tongue along to the tip
"Yes Joonie! There!", I cry, burying my hand in his hair
His arms wrap around my legs, keeping them open, lavishing my clit in licks
"Such a cute clit baby. So small. Throbbing so hard for me", he comments as he pleasures me, "Such a pretty pussy"
I moan from his words, again not believing it's fucking Namjoon saying this to me
His tongue slips down, pushing into my hole
I gasp, immediately clenching around his tongue as he slides in as much as he can
"Mmmm", he groans, pulling his tongue out, then shoving it back in, tongue fucking me fast
My hips move on their own from the pleasure, from the desire to cum, fucking his face
God, I want to cum on his face
I dreamed of seeing him in between my legs for so long, eating my pussy as wildly as he is right now, for so long
I'm finally getting it and I'm not tearing my eyes from him
His tongue pulls out, sliding up, his mouth latching around my clit
He sucks once, gently, stars blasting in my vision from how amazing it feels
He sucks again
And again
And again
And with each suck, he goes faster, harder, playing and tugging, his tongue against my bump at the same time
My hips keep moving, my orgasm mounting, his name falling from my lips over and over
My back arches at his next suck, falling into an intense orgasm, my legs shaking around his head
"Namjoon! Oh, Namjoon! Baby!", I cry, pleasure washing over me, his mouth sucking me through it as I grind my pussy on his face
He moans too, as if he's the one orgasming, his tongue licking rapidly around my hole, swallowing my cum, his hands squeezing my thighs so hard
"Fucking good baby", he groans in between licks, cleaning my pussy
He pulls away when I finish, looking up at me, his face soaked in my cream
"I love eating your pussy baby", he says seriously
Oh my fucking god
"I...I.. loved it too", I admit
He smiles as he sits up, wiping his mouth, then pulling me closer to him by my legs
"Need to fuck you", he says, positioning his cock right at my hole
"Yes Joonie", I nod, wanting him so much
I don't know if this will happen again and I'm letting him do whatever he wants
His eyes move to my pussy as his cock enters me
"God you're pussy is so pretty", he murmurs, pushing inside, splitting me open so pleasurably, "Taking my cock so well. Fuck, that little hole is so pretty spreading for me"
He slides all in, his body shaking as his cock nestles inside me, head against my spot
"Fuck baby, your pussy looks so pretty wrapped around my cock", he says, mesmerized
He pulls back, then thrusts in hard, making me moan, his eyes watching where we meet as he fucks into me
His thrusts are hard and fast, stroke after stroke throwing me into bliss, impaling me on his fat cock
"God you're so creamy", he mutters, pounding into me, the drag of his cock so fucking incredible, "Making such a thick pretty ring around my cock. Want more of this cream all over"
I whimper, loving how good he is at dirty talk
I watch him fuck me and god, he's beautiful
He's so big- big arms, big chest, broad shoulders
I can see his muscles in his chest, his abs hard and tight as he ploughs into me
He's so sweaty, a sheen on his body, drops dripping down his chest, some dripping from his hair, falling on my stomach
Pleasure is all over his face and his body
He's so fucking hot
His eyes move from us, running along my body, biting his lip
"You're so beautiful", he murmurs, "Such a sexy little body, pretty pussy, gorgeous face. You're fucking perfect"
My mouth drops in disbelief that these words are coming out of his mouth
His eyes move to mine, gazing hard, "You're mine"
I blink in surprise
"Do you hear me?", he demands, leaning over me, one of his hands landing on the couch next to my head, his hips rolling into me faster, "You're fucking mine"
I nod, "Yeah Joonie"
"Only I get to touch you. Only I get to fuck you. No one else", he continues, the sound of his skin hitting mine so pretty, "Only I get to kiss you"
I nod, "Kiss me now Joonie"
He immediately leans down, his lips crashing into mine, tongue already playing with mine
I fall into his kiss, moving my legs around his waist, clenching around him
I need to feel him against me and I move my arms around him, pulling him flush on top of me, my hands roaming his broad back as I kiss him
His hand moves behind my back, lifting me up, keeping his sweaty body against mine, his pelvis rubbing against my clit with each stroke
His mouth moves against mine, his back muscles moving under my palms, the feeling turning me on so much
His other hand moves around my boob, groping me, his thumb playing with my nipple
"Mmmm", I whimper, my pussy throbbing around him so hard, so fast
I'm so close
His cock is fucking good, so skillful, keeping me in ecstacy
It's blowing my world
"Cum for me baby", he whispers in between kisses, "Cream my cock"
The next hit to my spot has ecstasy tidal waving over me as I cum all over his hard fat dick
"Joonie!", I cry, breaking the kiss, my fingers digging into his back as pure unwavering bliss pounds into my body
"Fuck, baby. I'm gonna cum", he moans
I lock my legs around him tightly, wanting him to fill me with cum
I'm in too much pleasure that I can't talk, my mind utterly blank, so I keep my legs around me
"Baby...Jo...I'm...I'm..oh fuck", he groans, sheathing his dick in my pussy, his cock throbbing hard, warm sticky cum shooting inside me
"Joanne. Baby, fuck", he cries, his big body shaking against me
"Namjoon!", I whimper, his cock feeling so good when he cums
I've never felt that before, never felt a cock so acutely while the guy was coming
It's probably because he's so fucking big
When he finishes, he lays down on top of me, his face in my neck
I slide one hand up into his hair, stroking softly
I also run my fingers up and down his back as well, loving the way his skin shivers, making me smile
I just want to hold him for a little bit before we get up and everything goes back to the way it was
Back to best friends
"I love you", he breathes
I freeze, wondering if I'm actually hearing him correctly
"What?", I whisper
"I love you", he repeats softly, "I love you so much"
"You do?", I ask, still in shock
He nods, "I...I was always in love with you. Always"
Always?
What does he mean always?
He had a girlfriend throughout high school, he got with her within a week of finding out about my feelings
He's dated other idols
What does he mean?
"But in school-"
"I loved you then too", he admits, blowing my world up
"But you had a girlfriend. A week after you found out my feelings for you"
"I...I didn't believe it", he says quietly, "Hae told me about your feelings but I didn't know if she was telling the truth. And I was too scared to say anything. I was scared to lose you if I told you how I felt and you didn't feel the same. And with Hannah, I had already had a date with her two days after I found out about your feelings and I just went with it"
I take this in and while it sucks I can't blame him
I was deathly afraid of losing him too, that's why I never said anything
And almost kicked the shit out of Hae when I found out what she said
"You're my best friend Jo, I needed you and I didn't want to jeopardize our friendship"
"And now?", I ask
He still has no idea that I love him, doesn't know if he's jeopardizing our friendship now
"I just...I can't take it anymore. I can't be around you without desperately wanting to kiss you", he whispers, "And I got so fucking jealous hearing you yell for Jungkook and Yoongi. I know I shouldn't have, I know you were just cheering for your friends but I was so jealous and angry. I didn't even plan on any of this. When you walked in, I made a snap choice and I kissed you. Everything that happened was amazing and I want more. I want to be with you, I want to be able to kiss you when I want, hold you when I want, stay the night with you, just be around you. And that made me tell you. I love you"
I smile, hearing those three words, I've always wanted to hear from him
"Joonie", I call, lifting his face to mine
His eyes avoid mine and I need him to look at me
"Baby", I whisper, his eyes finally gazing in mine, hope and fear in his, "I love you Namjoon"
Shock fills his eyes as he takes in my words
"I always loved you too baby", I tell him, "From high school. You're everything Joonie, everything I could ever want and more"
"Really?", he asks in disbelief
"Really baby. Everything you want I want. I want to spend all my time with you. I want to kiss you all the time, be in your strong arms, love you", I assure him, "You're mine Joonie and I'm never letting you go"
"Don't let me go baby", he whispers, "Don't baby. Ever. And I won't let you go"
"Deal Joonie", I smile, "I love you"
A huge beautiful bright smile breaks on his face, his dimples showing
"I love your smile Joonie", I say softly, gently touching his dimples, "It's beautiful"
"I love yours Jo", he answers, "I love you"
My smile widens, pressing my lips against his
He kisses me back and I'm so fucking happy
As we kiss, there's a pounding on the door
"Oi, are you done? We're walking around the hall like idiots!", Jungkook bellows
We pull away with Namjoon rolling his eyes, "Two minutes!"
"Awww", I whine
He smiles, running his fingers in my hair, "It's ok baby. We have all night to be together"
I perk up hearing that, "Yeah?"
He nods, "Yeah. We can go to my apartment or yours. We can eat, watch some TV. Then I'm gonna fuck you all night"
"All night?", I smirk
"Yeah", he nods, "In between we can cuddle and take naps"
I giggle, "Sounds good baby"
"Good", he agrees, giving me a quick peck, "Let's get up before these pain in my asses keep knocking"
I nod, both of us sitting up and collecting our clothes from around the room, putting them on
"Uh Joonie?", I call, holding my ripped panties up, "What am I supposed to do now?"
He grins, "Hmmm, well your dress is long enough to cover you so I'd say give them to me"
I raise my eyebrow but hand them to him and he proceeds to put them in his pocket
I roll my eyes, "You're such a guy"
"You're guy", he adds, coming closer, kissing my forehead
"Yeah, mine", I smile
"Hurry up!", Tae yells, knocking
Namjoon sighs, walking to the door, opening it
"It's about time!", Jungkook whines as he walks in, "Where should I not sit?"
Namjoon rolls his eyes, "That couch"
"Noted", he says, going to the other couch
The rest of the guys file in, sitting in the various chairs and couches in the room, avoid the one we fucked on
"Come baby", Namjoon says, taking my hand and leading us to "our" couch
He sits, then pulls me into his lap, wrapping his arms around me
"Guess they're together", Hobi says loudly
"Yeah. Shut up", Namjoon answers, making me laugh
I lean back, moving my arm around his neck, pulling him in for a kiss
His soft lips kiss me back and I'm so happy he's finally mine
#namjoon smut#namjoon fanfic#bts namjoon smut#bts namjoon fanfic#kim namjoon smut#kim namjoon fanfic#rm smut#rm fanfic#bts rm smut#bts rm fanfic#bts fanfic#bts smut
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Voice Of An Angel (Namjoon x OC)
Summary: Namjoon can't stop thinking about the girl that let him have the last copy of his favourite Murakami novel.
Pairing: Namjoon x OC
Genre: Fluff, smut
Word count: 3.3 K
Rating: 18+
Warnings: language, references to alcohol, dirty talk, references to kissing, fingering, nipple play, sex, phone sex, masturbation, intoxication
A/N: It's been inexcusably long since a Namjoon x Kaya fic came out and I take full blame for it. But since a few readers have requested a flashback fic, here it is! This takes place a few days after Namjoon and Kaya meet for the first time in Seoul and can be read standalone.
Tagging: @bbl32, @meirkive, @quarter-life-crisis2, @dreaming-with-happiness, @whoisbts, @kflixnet (if you want to be added to the taglist, lmk)
Listen to: “clouds” by BØRNS
namjoon masterlist | main masterlist
“Play the track again.”
Yoongi wordlessly hits the spacebar and the music plays, the deep bass thrumming through the floor. Namjoon taps his foot to the rhythm from where he’s sitting on the edge of the sofa. The home studio doesn’t have the expanse of equipment that the Big Hit studio does, but after a tiring month, all seven of them seem to be content not stepping out of the dorm for anything work-related.
He pushes his tongue into his chin, frowning as he tries to listen for it, but it never comes. “Okay, stop.”
“It’s sounding flat,” states Yoongi, leaning back in the chair. “The bass isn’t strong enough.”
Namjoon nods, knowing he’s right, but also at a loss for what to do to make it stronger. He goes through three different options in his mind, picturing how each of them would sound, wanting to get a mental read of it before suggesting anything. Just then the door opens and Taehyung saunters in, slippers scraping against the carpeted floor.
“What’s going on?”
“Oi, listen to this and tell me what you think,” says Yoongi suddenly, playing the track from the beginning. Namjoon watches Taehyung carefully for his reaction, albeit getting none as the younger member listens with a straight face. His hair is messy, the blue dye already fading away at the roots where his natural dark is beginning to show. Once the track ends, Taehyung looks between him and Yoongi.
“Is this track for me?” he asks, tone betraying nothing.
Yoongi rolls his eyes and turns back to the laptop while Namjoon raises an eyebrow. “Does that mean it’s good?” he asks, slightly wary.
Taehyung considers this. “It sounds…” He frowns, eyes glazing over as he looks for an appropriate word. “... contemplative,” he decides finally.
“Contemplative,” repeats Namjoon.
“I told you Hobi’s the right person to ask,” says Yoongi dryly, continuing to modify the settings of the track.
“What’s that supposed to mean?” Taehyung asks, sounding affronted.
“Contemplative doesn’t help.”
“Then what kind of opinion were you looking for?”
“Something we can actually work with.”
“How can you not work with -”
“What do you need?” Namjoon interrupts, seeing that this discussion is going nowhere.
Taehyung’s head whips to look at him, as though just remembering his original purpose. “Oh. Uh… Jungkook told me he had ramen and pork belly for lunch.”
When he offers nothing more, Namjoon raises an eyebrow. “So did we.”
“There’s none left, though.”
“No, there isn’t. You slept through lunch.”
Taehyung nods, deep in thought. Then -
“Is there any pork belly left? In the fridge?”
Yoongi nods, not looking up from the screen. “Yeah, one packet.” When no one speaks, he turns around, apparently finally working out why Taehyung is here. “Do you want me to make you some?”
“Yes,” he answers, unashamed. “Will you?”
Shaking his head slightly, Yoongi stands up and stretches. “It might be good to take a break, Namjoon,” he suggests, before turning to walk out the door, Taehyung hanging onto his back, a satisfied smile on his handsome face.
Namjoon waves his hand as they leave, knowing Yoongi will probably cook, eat, take a walk and possibly have a smoke before he returns. Taking his vacated seat at the desktop, he clicks on the track again. He can’t hear a single new thing, inspiration evading him, and he groans in frustration before pausing it. He leans back in the chair, rubbing his eyes before picking up his phone to check his notifications. One name catches his eye and he perks up slightly, swiping to open it.
Kaya [16:34]
Apparently there are some vacation spots without pictures of famous people but Jeju Island is not one of them.
Along with the message is a picture of a Polaroid, showing him and an older gentleman smiling into the camera. He recognises his own signature scrawled at the bottom, with a thumb tack at the top of the photo.
Smiling after what feels like hours, Namjoon types out a reply.
Namjoon [17:25]
Haha, I remember this place. They had the best lamb skewers.
He waits for the blue tick, but nothing happens. He sees then that she’d messaged him nearly an hour ago and he deflates, disappointed. He places his phone to the side and continues staring at his laptop, willing for something, anything to strike him.
His eyes roam around aimlessly, falling on the bonsai on his table. Kaya had taken it in her hand when she’d come over a couple of days ago; she’d brought it over to the table but in the midst of what had transpired next, both of them had forgotten to put it back on the shelf.
Namjoon bites his lip at the memory, his mind landing on the one thing he’d thought about more than he’d like to admit. He hadn’t quite believed she would come over when he’d asked - although inviting her had been quite unusual on his part as well. His only rationale was that she wasn’t going to be a permanent fixture in his life so it didn’t matter. Plus, even though she knew by then who he was, it was clear she hadn’t quite grasped just what it meant, which he was glad for.
He wonders for the first time if that’s the reason she chose to come, that it was just a temporary thing. A summer fling, she’d said, and he had to agree.
His stomach flips unexpectedly at the thought, for she’s objectively a great summer fling to have. A foreigner, intelligent, pretty, with good conversational skills. Dating for him is hard enough as it is, even keeping aside the fame angle. But every time he’s met her so far - at the bookstore, the park, the dorm - time has flown by faster than he would like. She’s managed to give him the distinct feeling of being surprised yet relieved at the fact that she exists at all - even if it is halfway across the world from him.
“Just a summer fling, Namjoon,” he mutters to himself, stretching again, just as his phone pings. His heart leaps when he sees a reply from the aforementioned summer fling.
Kaya [17:33]
I don’t know about lamb skewers but Jieun and I did try every cocktail they had to offer.
Namjoon [17:34]
You went out for drinks with your aunt?
Kaya [17:35]
I did. And it’s a lot easier now that I’m legal, instead of when she used to come home from college and sneak me sips of her beer.
Namjoon [17:36]
Interesting. How much did the legality help today?
Kaya [17:37]
Well, it’s almost six pm and I’m in bed trying to sober up. Oh and I can’t be bothered to turn on the light so it’s also dark.
Namjoon raises his eyebrows, not expecting this. He begins typing out a response before pausing. Hesitating momentarily, he calls her.
Kaya answers on the second ring. “I know I didn’t ask, but thank you for calling,” is the first thing she says.
He grins, her voice sounding familiar and exciting at once. “I figured it might hurt to look at the screen,” he explains.
She groans softly. “It does. God, I knew I shouldn’t have had that last mojito,” she complains, and he pictures her massaging her temple as she lies in bed.
“How drunk are you on a scale of one to ten?” he asks, surprised at the genuine concern in his own voice, but glad to hear the amusement in it, too.
“Um, a solid five,” she answers carefully. “So it’s not that bad but I can’t sleep it off either because I have to go to dinner soon…” She sighs. “Jack didn’t think it would be appropriate for Jae-lin to see her mother and sister drunk off their asses so we’ve been sent to sober up before we meet up again. Separately.”
Namjoon chuckles. “Good dad,” he remarks.
“Yeah. Irresponsible aunt, though. But I’m almost twenty-five so I don’t think I can blame her for decisions like this anymore.” She giggles unexpectedly before groaning again, softly, and his stomach flips. “What are you doing?” she asks after a moment.
He sighs inwardly and looks at the laptop screen again, now with his photo gallery screensaver appearing and bouncing around the screen. “Trying to work on this one song…” He shakes his head, running a hand through his hair. “Not making a lot of headway, though.”
“No?” She’s quiet for a moment. “Music producers have off days, too?”
“Yeah, we have our off days,” he confirms, rolling his eyes but smiling anyway. “It’s the same song I was working on when you came over.”
“You mean when I distracted you?”
Namjoon bites back a grin. “Yeah. Guess I have you to blame for this. Every time I try to remember what I was doing, I get distracted.”
“Have you tried to remember it a lot?” she teases, voice slightly quieter now. “Because I have.”
His throat feels dry. “Yeah?”
“M-hm. Don’t tell Jungkook, but I kind of really hate him a bit. Hey, tell me something,” she says abruptly. “Why’s it called a bias?”
Namjoon frowns, thrown. “Uh - why is what called a bias?”
“Like, your favourite k-pop member in a band. Apparently it’s called a bias,” she explains. “Jae-lin told me.”
“Oh.” He understands now. “I’m not sure. I think it’s because you’re biased towards one person?”
“No, I think it stands for something,” she disagrees, sounding rather invested. “Although your thing sounds more correct, though.”
He nods. “Why were you and Jae-lin talking about biases anyway?”
“Oh, it was nothing. I mentioned your friend Jungkook and she - well, she kind of lost it at first,” she amends, and he can almost hear her rolling her eyes. “But then she said he was really cute but her bias is someone else.”
“Oh? Who?” Namjoon asks, mildly curious.
“It was… okay, I don’t remember his name,” she says sheepishly. “But she did say he has a great voice. Very deep, apparently.”
“Ah, okay. Taehyung, I’m guessing.”
“Probably. She said he looked ethereal. And I remember this specifically because I swear she used this word, like, eight times in two minutes.”
Namjoon laughs, not finding it worth mentioning that the ethereal member is currently loitering around the kitchen, unshowered and hungry, as he enlists an older member to provide him sustenance. “She’s a kid,” is all he says. “Who’s your bias, by the way?”
Kaya laughs and his stomach does a backflip again. “I know exactly three names from your band right now.”
“But you’ve hooked up with only one.”
“M-hm. Doesn’t that give you an unfair advantage?”
“Is it my fault we met first?” he questions, leaning back in his chair, suddenly missing her greatly. “I think I’ve earned the advantage.”
“Well…” She pretends to think it over and he pictures it again: her, lying alone on a hotel bed, possibly in a dress she wore to lunch, shoes still on, wavy hair spread out over a creamy pillow in the twilight. He wonders if her hair still smells of that same scent, like an unsweetened dessert. “Jungkook doesn’t seem like he’s older than twenty, and I can’t compete with my cousin for the ethereal one,” she lists, “which leaves me with… you.”
Namjoon bites his lip, realising for the first time just how much he was waiting for her to say that. “Just me,” he agrees quietly.
“You…” She’s quiet for a few seconds and he wonders if she’s feeling the same anticipation he is. “Did it annoy you?” she asks eventually. “Thursday?”
He frowns slightly. “You coming over? Of course not.”
“No. Us getting interrupted.”
Namjoon exhales. “Come on, you know it did,” he murmurs. “I kind of hate Jungkook a little bit, too.”
She giggles again, softly, and he swallows. “Did you, um…” She trails off. “No, I can’t ask you this,” she mutters after a moment.
“What?”
He imagines her shaking her head. “No, it’s too… I mean, you don’t really know me that well and… forget it.”
“Kaya.” Namjoon says nothing more, just her name as gently as possible, as deeply as possible. He isn’t oblivious to the sound of his own voice, just like he knows he isn’t imagining her sharp intake of breath. “Tell me.”
“Okay. Let it be on the record that I’m only saying this because I’m intoxicated…” She hesitates, and his heart races in anticipation. “... but I definitely needed a cold shower when I got home that day.”
Silence. Namjoon slowly closes his eyes before letting his free hand crawl to his crotch to check - yep, he’s already sporting a semi. “You and me both,” he confesses after a moment, sighing.
“Yeah?” She sounds surprised at his admittance.
“Yeah. Right after you left, actually.”
“Oh.” There’s another pause. Namjoon thinks he can guess where this is heading, and his cock twitches at the prospect, but he doesn’t want to jump the gun. He waits for her to continue. “What did you think about?”
He’s prepared for this. “Everything I wanted to do before we got interrupted.”
She takes a deep breath that makes his toes curl. “Which was what?”
“You want me to tell you?” he asks, just to be sure.
“Every detail,” she confirms quietly.
If this goes to shit, you can just never see her again. “How drunk are you?” he asks after a moment.
“Not so drunk that I won’t be able to picture it.” Her boldness is enough of an indicator of some inebriation, but he guesses if she’s sober enough to give her consent, he’s good to go.
“You want me to tell you what I would’ve done if Jungkook hadn’t shown up?” He waits for her to murmur a yes before continuing. “I wanted to feel how wet you were. I could, already. I could feel it when my hand was pressed up against you,” he tells her, voice low and deep. He doesn’t want to think about it right now, but he knows he’s good at this. “I wanted to push one finger to your clit through your underwear… wanted you to ask me to take it off.”
“Fuck,” she whispers. “And if I asked?”
“I’d do it… after I got you soaking through it.” He has to pause for a moment here to steady his voice. “I’d wait until you begged me to take it off.” There’s a soft whimper on the other side of the phone and he freezes. “Fuck, Kaya, are you touching yourself?” he asks softly.
Kaya doesn’t answer for a moment. “Is that okay?” she asks finally, sounding wary. “I… your voice is making me feel…” She trails off, and Namjoon instantly hardens.
“You’re touching yourself… to what I’m saying?” he clarifies, his hand reaching his own hardened member as though of its own accord.
“You can do it, too,” she offers, a bit coyly, almost as though she can see him. “And, um…” She takes a shaky breath “... please don’t stop.”
“Fuck…” Suddenly remembering something, Namjoon springs up from his seat and darts to the door, locking it lest one of his six band members barges in on him. He resumes his seat and switches his phone to his left hand, tugging down his joggers with the other and grasping himself through his plain white underwear. “Put me on speaker.”
He hears a shuffle to indicate she’s obeyed him. “Done. Now… you were telling me how you wanted to make me beg for your fingers?”
“M-hm…” Namjoon palms himself, sighing quietly before continuing. “I wanted to make you beg before I took off your jeans, and your pretty black underwear. I wanted to enter you, first with one finger and then a second… while my palm rubbed against your clit… and you whispered my name.”
“Yeah, I’d say your name,” she agrees breathily, its absence conspicuous.
“Your bra was off… and your nipples looked so hard and sexy…” The image floats into his mind, her back arched as she lay on the sofa underneath him. “Fuck, I wanted to suck them so bad, Kaya…”
Her breathing is faster now, soft moans audible. Namjoon takes the phone away from his ear and puts it on speaker, placing it on the table before lowering his boxer briefs and freeing himself, properly grasping his erection now. His thumb brushes the glistening pre-cum on the tip, smearing it down his shaft before he begins stroking himself.
“Namjoon…” Her voice out loud in the room makes him jump slightly but he moves his hand faster, feeling himself closer than he’d thought. “I wanted you to… God, I wanted you to kiss me…”
“I wanted to kiss you… I wanted to swallow every sound you made while I fucked you with my fingers… I wanted to kiss your neck, suck on your skin -” He stops himself in time, hoping she doesn’t pick up on it. “I wanted to rub your little clit, slowly, until you asked me to go faster… until you were coming all over my fingers…”
Kaya’s moans are louder now, more frantic. “Fuck, I’m close, I’m…” She breaks off and the sound she makes, loud and breathy, brings him on the verge.
Namjoon continues working himself, stroking his cock faster and unable to keep quiet any longer. A few more quick, frustrated strokes and he feels himself explode all over his hand. He gives himself a few seconds to recover from his orgasm, groaning quietly, before leaning over and pulling out a few tissues from the box behind the laptop, cleaning himself up and pulling his clothes back up. He takes the phone off speaker and brings it back to his ear.
“Are you still there?” he asks after a moment. He can hear rustling so he knows she hasn’t hung up, but he has a moment of panic when he wonders if she regrets it.
“Yeah,” she says after a moment, still sounding slightly breathless. “Thanks for, um…” She laughs quietly, sounding a bit self-conscious. “It felt really good,” she finishes.
“Me, too,” he agrees, smiling to himself. “Did that help at all… with your headache?”
She scoffs in humour. “God, I hope so,” she says, and he hears her shift. “Sitting up is definitely easier. Did it help with your… I don’t know, musician’s block?”
“I really hope so,” he says dryly, leaning back in his chair. “Might have helped more in person, but, hey.” Glad to hear her chuckle at that, he continues. “Listen, uh… I know you’re leaving next week but can I take you out to dinner before you do? When you’re back from Jeju?”
“Yeah, that would be nice. Tuesday? I’m having dinner with the family on Wednesday. Last night and all,” she adds, sounding a bit wistful.
“Tuesday sounds good.” Namjoon nods, not wanting the call to end but knowing it’s coming to a natural close. “I’ll see you then.”
“Yeah. I should go, I guess…”
“M-hm.” He scrambles for something to prolong the conversation. “Call me if you - if you need - I mean, not this, but if you want to -” He breaks off, cringing with his head in his hands.
Kaya laughs, to his great relief. “I’m not sober enough to be too embarrassed about that but I’m sure I’ll get there,” she half-groans. “I’ll, uh… I’ll text you?”
“Yes, please,” he says, voice muffled where his hand is still covering his face. “And… don’t be embarrassed,” he adds earnestly. “You were… forgive me, but you were really hot.”
When she doesn’t respond for a few seconds, he’s afraid he’s said something wrong. But then he hears her stifle a chuckle. “I’ll see you in a few days, music producer.”
—
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#namjoon x oc#namjoon x reader#namjoon fanfic#thebtswritersclub#btshoneyhive#bangtanwhq#bangtantheatrenet#bangtanbathhouse#houseofddaeng#k-vanity#wkcnet#hyunglinenetwork#bts rm fanfic#bts rm smut#namjoon smut#namjoon fluff
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