love the Batfam AUs where Jason or Damian or just anyone who wasn’t there for Tim’s early days as Robin thinking he’s the calm, boring Robin who always listens to Batman etc.
and then it cuts to Tim’s early days and it’s just him yelling, blackmailing and scolding Batman.
Tim just threatening Batman with therapy every time he does something self-sacrificing, threatening to call Alfred every time he gets out of bed when he’s supposed to be resting. Hitting him on the back of the head when he’s being his normal emotionally constipated self.
Just Tim being affectionately passive aggressive to Bruce <3
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How do think everyone in the batfamily would react to meeting Thomas and Martha?
Tim: [Conspiracy theorist noises, no one knows if they’re good or bad]
Jason: great, more rich people. Not like we have enough of those. [Loves Martha and wants to know if Catherine is okay, if there’s even a possibility of knowing.]
Dick: sorry I knocked off your ashes while doing gymnastics, grandpa. I think you were in the vacuum cleaner for a while :/
Thomas: meh, it happens :D as long as you’re having fun!
Duke: ok so wait. You’re telling me Gotham used to be WORSE?
Damian: [Keeps getting his cheeks pinched] Can you purchase the government and make animal abuse punishable by hanging?
Thomas: I’m sure we can make that happen! Anything for my little man!
Bruce: Father :|
Thomas: What, I miss the death penalty. Now those were the days.
Bruce: Mother!
Martha: Don’t look at me. I made Luigi Maroni drink a bleach cocktail for kicking a cat.
Damian: …You’ve earned my admiration, Grandmother.
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Batkid Groupchat
Dick: someone save me pls
Jason: What's wrong?
Dick: Gala at Wayne Manor
Dick: This guy won't stop talking to me
Jason: lol sucks to suck
Damian: Sorry Richard, I cannot attend to the situation. That would give up my hiding spot.
Damian: I meant vantage point.
Damian: If any of you tell Bruce, I will murder you.
Cass: Damian, look up
*sends photo of Damian in the rafters of Wayne Manor*
Damian: Ah, great minds think alike I see.
Tim: hold up Dick, I wanna get out of this conversation too, I'll be over in a sec
Steph: Can't relate
Steph: This is why you don't let the first billionaire who offers adopt you
Steph: then you gotta go to the stuffy parties
Steph: Duke and I are the only smart ones
Duke: Agreed, have fun at the party
Later at the Gala
*Red Hood and the Outlaws come busting through the door*
Red Hood: This is a hostage situation
Red Hood: We want Dick Grayson, Tim Drake, Cassandra Cain, and Damian Wayne.
Bruce, also desperately wanting to get out: Aren't you forgetting someone
Red Hood: Oh, right, Alfred Pennyworth
Bruce: aren't you forgetting someone else?
Red Hood: No
Bruce: Ja- Red Hood. Aren't you going to take me!
Red Hood: what would I need you for? I already have CEO of Wayne enterprises *ruffles Tim's hair, about to get fought by Tim* (under his breath: you fight back, I'm leaving you behind), a police officer, biological son of a billionaire, cool af dancer Cassandra Cain, and Alfred the Almighty
Bruce: don't you want a billionaire too?
Red Hood: If I take you, who is going to pay the ransom?
*Taking the Batkids and Alfred out of the gala as Bruce pouts*
Jason: one of you swipped Bruce's credit card before we left, right?
Tim: of course, we aren't amateurs
Jason: then ice cream on Bruce!
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My friend was at the bus stop again. He's super photogenic.
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Damian wanted to paint some of the Gotham heroes but all the online references are blurry. He's found maybe two ok photos but not enough. until a box is left on his desk FILLED with hundreds of clear candid photos of the family. There are ones with Red Hood and Batman, Nightwing and Robin, Black Bat and Spoiler, every combination of the heroes but oddly enough none of the photos have Drake in them.
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