#yes there was so much pain at the time. some days will haunt me forever. but also. it would have been different because right now it’s not | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

shiny-jr · 10 months

Text

from DIASOMNIA

- Warning: Yes, this is still a yandere thing. You have been warned. Gender-neutral reader.

- Characters: Malleus Draconia, Lilia Vanrouge, Silver, Sebek Zigvolt.

- Summary: (Continuation, after this “we just got a letter, wonder where it’s from”) You have barred them from entering the safety of Ramshackle Dorm, but they are determined to make their words reach you. Which is why the letters begin arriving at your doorstep.

- Note: This is just the first part, only with Diasomnia. I’ll post the rest later once its written. For now, I hope you enjoy this part! Oh, and this was inspired by the mention of letters @qierxing‘s fic inspired by the whole imposter au idea. So yeah. Hopefully I caught all the mistakes in this post because I am not rereading all that again.

Diasomnia | Ignihyde

Among the first letters you pick is carefully sealed in a black envelope. You found it peculiar that Grim, who had offered to use his claws to open the envelopes, hadn’t been able to cause the slightest tear as if it were being protected by some magic. But it opened with ease during your first attempt to rip it open.

You didn’t care much for the wax family crest that had sealed it, or the black envelope itself. Maybe it would feel liberating to just set them all ablaze as soon as you finished skimming over the carefully written words.

To my dearest human,

I understand the pain I have caused you.

Ever since that moment I betrayed you, all I have seen in my vision and in my mind is your expression of terror. It tortures me. Your terror spurred by my actions and my very own hands. I am your most beloved and loyalest of companions in this world, and yet, had my retainers behind those doors not intervened, you would have been gone forever. And it would have been all my doing, all my fault.

I write this letter to apologize, but as I write this, I realize that there is no forgiving what has been done. Ever. No matter how I plead or what comes from my lips. But I will say this: there are no amount of words that can truly convey how sorry I am. This will haunt me for the remainder of my centuries of life.

Agonizing thoughts plague my mind and torment me at all hours of the day and night, at every and each moment. Even now, I reflect on everything I had done to harm you. While, the time I believed in those falsehoods was minuscule compared to the days others knew and acted upon it, the fact still stands that I was too easily deceived by mere rumors alone. I was blinded by my rage when I heard that someone dared to impersonate you and had been the probable cause of your vessel’s malfunction, that I did not even take a brief respite to consider the validity of the information that reached my ears.

Believe me, although I realize you have no reason to hold even a shred of faith in a single word I say and for that I would not blame you, but I will atone for the crimes I have committed. In any way possible. Even if it takes my entire lifetime, I will continue forward until I have achieved this goal and you may smile upon me once again. There is a human saying, which if I recall correctly I believe goes something like, forgive but never forget. Well, I would beg for forgiveness, while knowing full well that my misdeeds will never truly be forgotten. The harm I inflicted will leave scars that will never fully fade.

For every scratch my nails left on your delicate flesh, you may drive vines of the sharpest thorns against my own skin until blood pools all around me. For every bruise from my hand that tainted you, I would hand you an iron sword to use as you wish against me until you believe I’ve had enough. If it pleased you, I would even utilize my magic to transform into a figure with wings, which I would then proceed to sever the wings by my own hand and offer them to you on a silver platter.

Any punishment you can think of, I would readily accept.

Although living with the guilt of my mistakes and knowledge of the weight of my actions against you, is by far the most painful torture I’ve ever known.

If I do not receive word from you soon, I fear I may go insane with my own guilt. Yet I know I bring this upon myself. And if I were to go insane, if I was not insane this entire time already, you are all that would be in my thoughts. You are all that would remain in the part of my mind that is intact. You are currently and have been all that I think of, so perhaps my sanity is already long gone.

I would venture into the deepest crevices of hell and back, just to prove my worth to you. Even if I must be punished for the rest of my life, so be it. But I implore you to allow me to redeem myself, let yourself bear witness to the incredible feats I may accomplish in your name. Redemption... The thought of perhaps one day receiving the blessing of your smile and your grace once more in the near or distant future, is the light at the end of the tunnel in this dark period of my existence. I am yours. Whether you still desire me or not, I will forever be yours, and I will brave through trials of fire to demonstrate my eternal devotion to you.

Just know that I will do everything in my power to please you. Whether it be to fulfill the judgement you cast upon me, to demonstrate my worth and determination to achieve redemption, or simply because you command it so, it shall be done.

For now, I will wait on your response and deliberate over my next course of action. Should you desire anything, anything at all, wether it be something as simple as traveling to the store for a purchase, you have a moment of recluse and desire company, or if you command me to move the island or clear the very heavens, all you must do is speak my name. Then, consider it done. Once my name is upon your lips, I will be there as the last syllable leaves your tongue.

I will await the moment I am summoned.

Forever yours,

Malleus Draconia

That was... unnerving. Your hand unconsciously drifted up to the slight puncture wounds on your neck. They had long since dried, but you vividly remember feeling the thin trail of crimson being drawn and dripping down like a steady stream.

You could remember the way Malleus withdrew as soon as he realized the truth, like he had been burned with his hands on you in that fashion. The blood, your blood, staining his sharpened nails. The red was deeper than any nail polish or ink.

You were nearly sent spiraling, until you felt a tap and the texture of paper against your arm. When you glance down, you see Grim pressing his paws with another crumpled letter onto you. The ink on this letter is red, but the feline’s wide curious eyes are a glowing blue.

“You okay? What’s so interesting about that wall you’re lookin’ at? You’re kinda just staring off into nothing there.”

Offering a grateful nod to Grim who frowned worriedly, you accept the already opened envelope while tossing aside the letter from Malleus. “I’m good. Just... thinking.”

Lifting a hand, you place your palm against his head and scratch the spot behind his ears. Grim lets out a content purr and holds a bag of junk food, which he probably found among the mountain of gifts, and curls up beside you. You continue the slow and soothing scratches as you use your freehand to unravel the letter Grim brought you from the towering stacks.

This envelope was already cut open. It was a light brown and more square-shaped as thin rope kept it tied together. It had a mash of colorful strings that formed a messy bow to top it off. At least, you assumed it was meant to be a bow, but it looked more like a messy knot that would be impossible to untangle. Good thing it was already partially cut by Grim’s claws earlier.

As mentioned, the ink was red, an interesting choice. While the handwriting was not as elegant as Malleus’ letter. Some words were written neatly, before falling off the line and blending with other words. Making it a bit difficult to read, but you managed.

If you’re reading this,

This means that I am not irredeemable in your eyes.

Had I been beyond redemption, you would have not even opened this letter. If this was a lost cause, a merry dance, this paper would’ve been tossed into the trash without a second thought. But, my words have reached you. You’re reading this right now, aren’t you? It’s why I decided to write this. I could predict the actions you’d take. You are different from your vessel, but it’s only natural that you would act similarly to the silly little doll you controlled, the same doll that sparked this whole fiasco.

I truly am so sorry if I frightened you. While I will admit, it was my intention to strike fear into your heart and use you to serve for another dubious purpose, that was when I hadn’t recognized you. Although, I know this doesn’t mean much to you, I figured I should be entirely honest to you. It’s the least I can do. I’m such a fool for being quick to believe the rumors like some sort of senseless child.

All I can do now, is remain true and offer up my loyalty. It’s nothing compared to the mistakes I made, and I’ve made plenty, but I know an apology will never suffice. So, even if you’re still uncertain about redemption, I’ll remain loyal. Among all the beings and creatures I’ve met in my lifetime, you remain an enigma. You’re human, but at the same time, you’re different. There continues to be so much I do not know of you. I wonder, could you hear me whenever I spoke to your plaything? Do you recall the stories I told, of my time as a reckless youth? Foolhardy, wild, that I was. But I was also fiercely loyal. For the Draconias, I razed down all foes like wheat in a field.

Now that I consider it, perhaps it's best if you hadn’t heard me recount those tales. While I had been eager to share with you my experiences and act out my thrilling adventures, perhaps my story telling was much too graphic. I wouldn’t want the vivid details of bloodshed to be cause for alarm as our most recent encounter was far from pleasant. You have to forgive me, sometimes I get carried away when narrating my accomplishments and exploits. I’ll share more light-hearted memories with you the next time we meet.

Our first meeting with your true self really went abysmally, didn’t it? I know that things never really go as planned, so I don’t bother planning such things in advance. But, I had pictured it to be a lovely moment. Silver and Sebek would look at you with shining eyes and proclaim their loyalty as they had practiced vows over and over again for such an occasion, I would get to embrace your true form and unlock your secrets, and of course Malleus would be truly content for once as he finally received the company he deserved.

But, as expected, things didn’t go accordingly.

Those three youths are miserable, thinking of the proper words to pen, a way to apologize for the suffering they’ve caused. But now, we are the ones suffering because we hurt you.

They write and write, but tear their letters over and over again as they believe no words they’ve written so far are adequate. Soon they’ll realize that no words will ever be sufficient for an apology. Even if they were to create new words that are unheard of by any dictionary, it would not come close to being enough. That’s why I’ve decided to stick with this single attempt, because I already know that nothing I ever write will measure up to being acceptable.

There is something about you that always leaves me bemused. Your grace left me feeling dizzy and giddy, like I was experiencing a little crush again, although this was much more intense than any crush. The truth about your vessel controlled by you, had me perplexed as I had never heard of such a thing. And well, the disastrous chase that followed your arrival... you know that part well and could assume how I feel about that from what I’ve told you. At present, all I can do is remain loyal, for what my loyalty is worth to you. Beyond that, despite having an abundance of experiences, there is no such situation that could have prepared me for this moment.

Genuinely, I am stumped once again. I cannot even envision what can be done with my own two hands, that can be worthy of your attention once again and earn me redemption. But, you can be certain of one thing, and that is: my loyalty is undying. I still have a few years left in these old bones of mine, and I will use the rest of my life to serve you.

Whether you want me or not. If you still want me, I will be of use to you. Whatever you are in need of, a soldier, a plaything, a companion, or even someone to take out your anger on. I shall be it. If you don’t want me, I will still be there. I will always be there to smile and lift your spirits like you once did for me through your doll.

I eagerly wait for word from you.

Until we meet again soon,

Lilia Vanrouge

None of these letters were comforting in the slightest. In fact, they only placed you further on edge. For a moment, you considered stopping it here after only two and getting rid of the rest.

Grim by now had settled in your lap, and looked up at you with those watchful blue eyes. Had he been staring at you the entire time?

“Let me guess, they’re not taking it well?”

“No, not at all.” You answer with a grimace. If this was how they were like now, you didn’t even want to know how they acted when they found out your vessel stopped working over a week ago.

“Huh, sucks for them.” The feline stretched out, his claws poking out for a moment before quickly retracting as he plopped back down on his back with his stomach up. Maybe it was his own attempts to fill the silence, or to let you know you weren’t alone, but he eventually groaned. “Hey, read me one. I wanna know what they say.”

Unable to say no to your companion, you nodded slowly and smiled weakly, “Alright, alright, let’s see what we have here...”

You plucked out a random letter with neat packaging. However, just because the exterior was pretty, didn’t mean the interior message would be. You learned that already from the last two letters you had read.

This envelope looked somewhat similar to the last one, square-shaped and tied closed with string. However, instead of the knot of ribbons on it, it held a simpler gift. The brown rope around it was tied in a neat bow, and between the string were lavender stems with a small branch of wild berries.

Grim immediately indulged in the berries and the flowers, staining his little fangs and whiskers with the sweet sticky juice and purple petals. All the while exclaiming, “Oh, oh! I remember this letter. Some bird came to drop it and it flew away just before I could catch it...”

A short laugh escaped your lips as you hear him. “So that’s why you were grumbling this morning.”

Not wanting to be reminded again, he swat his paw at your nose as the feline hissed, “Shh! Just read already!”

Dear player,

I truly am deeply remorseful and I offer my sincerest apologies.

I was to be a knight, that has been something I have strived for ever since I was a child. A knight not just to serve Malleus but to protect others, and eventually I discovered my purpose was to serve you as well. But... all I did was stand idly by and watch the torment. Shortly after meeting your vessel, I had promised to shield you from all danger. I broke that promise.

I cannot imagine how frightened you must have been. Had just one person stop and thought things through, they may have realized the horrible mistake that was being made. Had I acted as soon as I felt the tug on my heart when I saw you weakened and on the dirt, I may have saved you from anymore pain.

Those eyes, your eyes, I see them in my sleep. You were scared, and through your gaze you were pleading for help, were you not? I see it every time I close my eyes. You witnessed it yourself, the very moment when I had failed you. You were right there, so close I could have extended a helping hand. But my grief rendered me sightless, all I could think of in that moment is how my heart ached and how I longed to see you again. Even if it was through your vessel. The rumors didn’t quite make any sense to me, as I wondered how could anyone possibly be so cruel as to tear you away from us?

Father had said that it would all be over soon. That capturing the imposter and bringing them to their knees, would make everything better. But when I saw you on the ground before we learned of your identity, I couldn’t help but wonder if this was alright. Would the player have wanted this? Would they have scorned upon witnessing the scene? Would this undoubtedly end the throbbing pain I felt in my heart? The pain was becoming unbearable, and I was not the only one to feel it. The news made little sense to me. Sebek insisted that it was true, and Father seemed to believe so as well. However, that is no excuse for how I went along as if it were okay.

You were innocent and helpless, you, the player, not only witnessed the scene but were the victim. I’m so sorry, I should have done something... If it were the only way to gain your forgiveness, I would spend every moment of my waking hours writing letters of apology. To do so I would keep myself awake for as long as humanely possible. If asked, I would use every moment to pen these letters, each different from the last. Although after several attempts in redoing this single letter, I realize that it would be a pointless endeavor.

After reflecting, the only way to make up for what I have do is be patient.

Be patient and await for word from you. I cannot force you, I cannot pressure you, I can only pause and prepare myself to do whatever I must in order to earn back your grace.

Please, do not keep me waiting too long. I know I have no right to ask you this. I’m willing to wait years if needed, but part of me has this fear that I will never regain a spot near your heart until I’m frail and feeble with age. Rest assured, even in old age, I would be willing to be your knight. Even if my bones ached, I would raise my sword and shield. If I couldn’t use my weakened legs, I would call upon a horse to be my steed. And if I were to become magicless, I would use the remainder of my physical strength to serve you.

If I may be honest with you? I have no idea what to do. Yes, I said I would wait, but what else can I do? What can I do to eventually secure a place beside you, if it were possible? In times of trouble I normally turn to Lilia and Malleus for advice, however, I am a bit unsettled by their approach to this delicate matter. Truthfully, I am anxious, but while they share the sentiment, they are oddly confident that things will turn out alright in the end. I am unsure how they can muster the self-assurance to quell their fears. Maybe they know something that I do not, and have decided not to share this secret for now...

Nevertheless, for now I’ll eagerly anticipate the day we can reunite just as I have dreamed. I greatly look forward to the second where not only I can see you smile once again and your eyes might finally look at me with content, but also the moment where all those I know might get the opportunity to be in your peaceful grace.

I’ve dragged this letter on for too long. If you were to take something away from this letter, let it be this: I will carry out your wishes. No matter what you may think of me, whether it be a positive or negative image in your mind, I will continue forward in your name. Even if you think me unfit for the title of knight, then consider me a humble servant instead. Nothing will shake my commitment, and I will do whatever it is you ask.

This is a pledge that will not be broken.

Cordially,

Silver

This letter felt a bit lighter than the others. Still, it was slightly intense in its own way, but it was nowhere near as extreme as the previous two were. And, maybe you had a better opinion on Silver, not because he was gentle with his words but because he was one of the very few who hadn’t threatened you, directly harmed you, or treated you cruelly.

But! He didn’t get a free pass just because of that. Yes, he may not have directly caused any harm, but he didn’t exactly help you either.

Grim had taken the letter from you, and inspected the paper in his paws. He held it above his head, scrunching up his nose a bit as he looked it over. “I dunno... he’s okay.”

At that, you roll your eyes a bit as a smirk crept up from the corner of your mouth. “You’re not just saying that because his letter came with a snack?”

“No! You think me easy to bribe? I think not! It would take a whole bucket full of berries just to get me to even discuss it. Then, I’d turn them down and take the berries anyways!” The feline proclaimed his brilliant plan should that situation ever arise. Maybe the gifts you allowed him to take were starting to get to his head. “But... he could be worse. Silver, as dumb as he was like everyone else, he did hear me out after they separated us.”

Silver did that? If that were true, it’s possible that he wasn’t as bad as the others who had wronged you.

“That’s... good to know.” You murmur as you pluck up another random envelope from the pile.

The last envelope you pick up before you planned to take a break was surprisingly plain. It was just that. A plain white envelope, sealed by green wax with what looked like a family crest that depicted a creature with fangs and scales. One of the corners was crinkled, as if it was gripped too tightly there.

As soon as you slid out the folded letter, you were bombarded by the ink. Whoever had wrote this, seemed like they applied too much force. This caused certain parts of some letters to be too round and heavy with ink that made those bits feel damp and stain your fingers the slightest bit. Like whoever wrote this, placed just as much pressure with their hands on the pen gliding across the page, as much pressure as they felt weighing on their mind.

Great Player,

As I pen this, I am on my hands and knees.

I have prepared a multitude of letters which I will send daily, so that now and in the future you will continue to hear my apology and know I truly mean it. One admission of regret is not enough. An apology is only an acknowledgment of an offense, it does not absolve one of their wrongdoings. I know this! So, I, Sebek Zigvolt, will atone by any means necessary!

To you, the player who I wronged and deserves nothing but happiness and perfection, I give my deepest sincerest profuse apology. I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m SORRY. Right now when I look at my hands that I use to write, I’m reminded of the vicious way I grabbed you like some... heathen! These hands sullied your flawless self, and for that alone I will never forgive myself!

Had it not been for the wise words of Master Lilia and the bothersome yet logical reasoning from Silver, I would have been at your door everyday, every hour, begging for a second chance. In the midst of brainstorming, I presented my idea of crawling on hands and knees, from Diasomnia to the Ramshackle Dorm, to deliver the letter myself. Then, I would display whatever cuts or bruises formed on my palms and knees which I would receive from the rocky roads or thorns, that way you may see my devotion was true and no lengths are too great when it comes to you! No matter the pain or burden! The idea seems to appeal to Lord Malleus, but I was told that it comes off as too extreme...

But! I beg to differ!! I only consider it so that you may understand what I feel, so that you might comprehend the things I would do for you, and receive me back in your good graces! Additionally, delivering the letter in this manner would cause me as much or more physical pain than I caused you! It is a shame that things have come to this. I had wished so much for our first proper meeting to be one of joy where you might accept me as your knight! In spite of that, I will not falter in shame! If I were to deliver the following letters in that method I had detailed earlier, I would wear the scars proudly! It would be physical proof of my faithfulness towards you!

I am sorry, and I will continue to say it. Perhaps, this may be presumptuous of me, but if you consider it, Diasomnia did not torment you nearly as long as any other insolent dorm had! And! We retainers accompanied Lord Malleus every day to check on the wellbeing of your vessel, and watch over it while investigating various possible approaches on how to revive Yuu. We diligently did this until the moment we encountered your true self!

I swear to you, no one shall harm you from this moment forth!

From now on, I’ll march forward and see to it that you are never hurt ever again! This is something I know that my fellow dormmates will tirelessly work toward as well.

Have you realized that we have been guarding you and the serenity of your dorm in the past days? Have you not thought it strange that none have come to needlessly pester you? Yes, that is all thanks to the efforts of those in Diasomnia! Even when you do not realize it, we are insuring your welfare and the tranquility you require to recover! Of course, as much as I desperately want to inform you of the details, I will not. It is best you don’t know.

Now, I must be honest with you. Originally, I had planned this letter to be much longer and have contents that would have been much different than what you are currently reading. I aimed to be honest in my feelings! But before I could sign off on the original draft, I realized that the others may be in the right. It is possible that our devotion, my devotion, may come off as disquieting if I were completely sincere. I’ve had to restrain myself on many occasions, reminding myself to at least appear collected and controlled. That is not as easy as it sounds!

How could it be, when the one I must suppress my emotions and actions for, is you? That’s as if asking to repress part of my very soul and heart! I absolutely detest hiding it!! But when I remember this is for you and your own comfort, it becomes bearable. I can only hope that soon, very soon, I might be able to unveil my true sentiments towards you! As intense and extreme as they may be!

It seems that I’m nearing the word limit that they imposed. Once again, I apologize. I’ll have to contemplate new ways to write ‘sorry.’ I wish I could write a million more words for you! But even a million words wouldn’t be anywhere near a satisfactory amount for me to detail how much I revere you! And it would take more than another million words for me to write a full apology, but even then I wouldn’t be satisfied! No single letter is adequate enough, so be prepared to receive the rest I have written!

I will make sure they are delivered posthaste!

Faithfully,

Sebek Zigvolt

Great... you’re back to being unnerved again.

There was something about them all being so weirdly obsessed, but in vary different ways. Malleus and Lilia puzzled you, they had you feeling the most uneasy by far. Maybe it had to do with the fact that they were both not human, they were arcane beings with enigmatic personalities and objectives that were incomprehensible to you.

Out of the four, Silver was the only one that was fully human like yourself, but even he was a bit of a mystery as he was raised by the fae. It was hard to be wary of him, which was probably because your distrust and fear of him wasn’t as intense as it was towards the others due to his good nature and lack of actions he took during the whole disaster.

As for Sebek, well, he was unnerving in his own right but it was nowhere near on the level that Malleus and Lilia were on. At the very least he wasn’t a complete mystery to you. It was easy to figure out his intentions, because he either said them or wore them on his sleeve.

Your mind was spinning as you looked over the four letters, filled with lines upon lines and more lines of pages. In that moment your breath quickened as you noticed the cloudy sky outside. For a brief second, you feared you would see that familiar flash of green lightning, taking you back to that dark day when you nearly died. It’s like you could feel Sebek’s hands tightly gripping the back of your skull that forced you against the earth, you saw Silver’s sorrowful gaze that spoke a thousand words you didn’t yet understand, you heard Lilia’s words hinting to a doomed fate of becoming some lifeless doll, and god, you couldn’t forget him even if you wanted to. Malleus. He was the worst of all. You felt his nails and fingers constricting around your neck and squeezing out all the air, you saw his haunting green eyes with those slit pupils as he glowered at you with such anger and hate, and you heard what you had thought would be the last words you ever heard come from his lips––

“Hey!”

You were torn out of those dark thoughts by the feline in your lap. A concerned frown tugged at Grim’s lips, but once he saw he had your attention, he mustered a slight grin as he held up what looked like an armful of snacks. At least, as much as he could carry in his small paws. From his grin, you could see his little fangs still covered in the remnants of the berries and flower petals.

“Look, I found your favorite! This is getting boring, so let’s just take a break!”

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oddinary4bts · 1 year

Text

The Forgotten Spaces | ch 4 (jjk)

☆summary: you've been dancing on the same dance crew since your teenage years, and you finally have an important role in it. It feels like life is taunting you when your rival comes back after disappearing for a year, ready to tease you every chance he gets. Will the teasing turn into more, or are you going to take him down with you?

☆pairing: photographer and dancer!Jungkook x dancer!female reader

☆rating: 18+ (minors DNI, there will be mature content in later chapters)

☆genre: slow (SLOW) burn enemies to lovers, college!au, slice of life!au, angst (oop), smut and fluff

☆warnings: nausea, hangover, the park jimin effect, drinking, cursing? a time skip of a month

☆word count: 9.6k

☆a/n: why is posting making me anxious? fun fact, I'm posting from New York City this week! Went to the two first Agust D concerts ayyy

☆a/n pt2: always and forever thankful for @moonleeai and her dedicated work as my beta reader <3

☆series masterpost here

☆Read What Was Hidden here, the fic that inspired this whole story, written by @daechwitatamic, one of my fav human beings on this app <3 It follows the story of Jo and Taehyung before The Forgotten Spaces

☆☆☆☆☆

For this meeting of our end of the world

It's with you that I want to sing

On the threshold of the memories the dead of today

Them that breathe for us

The forgotten spaces

Je t'écris - Gaston Miron (rough translation by me)

☆☆☆☆☆

Saturday, May 19th

Jungkook feels sick. Sick of everything, but mostly sick because his hungover has kept him in bed all day. He doesn’t even know if he’ll be able to pull up for dance practice later. All he knows is that his room has been spinning whenever he wakes up from naps, and that he fucked up majestically last night.

He doesn’t quite remember everything he said. He just remembers you, in his room, and then you being gone, replaced by Jimin and Taehyung.

The only thing he knows is that you know. The text that’s been sitting on his phone all day is reminder enough.

[11:12 am] You: hey, i hope ur okay this morning.. if u ever wanna talk about last night, we can grab a coffee or smth😌

He doesn’t know what to say, so he hasn’t replied. Because he’s not okay at all, and he doesn’t want to talk about it. Especially not with you.

Especially not when he hasn’t been able to eat anything since the first time he woke up today. It’s nearing 4 pm now, and he technically needs to be at the studio in two hours. Hobi already said he’d pick him up, but he’s still far from being presentable right now.

Jungkook groans, hiding his face in his pillow. You come up in his mind, the look of horror on your face last night making everything spin around him twice as much as before. Whenever he closes his eyes, you’re there, and he almost hopes to go blind.

Though he’s pretty sure you’d find a way to haunt him even if he was blind.

Another groan escapes him, and he turns his head to the side as someone knocks on his door. “Uh?” he lets out, loud enough for whoever it is to hear.

He’s surprised to see it’s Yoongi as the man opens the door. “I made you soup,” Yoongi says, and sure enough he is carrying a tray with a steaming bowl of soup on top of it.

Jungkook expects the thought of eating to make him feel worse, but surprisingly enough, no nausea rises inside of him. Instead, he realizes his stomach feels dreadfully empty, so he forces himself to sit, wincing at the throbbing pain at his temples.

It’s almost enough to make him forget the pain in his leg.

“Did you take any painkillers?” Yoongi asks as he puts down the tray at the foot of the bed. “And have you drank any water?”

“Yes and yes,” Jungkook replies, voice raucous from disuse. “Pretty sure I could use some more painkillers though.”

Yoongi nods, watching his younger friend carefully. “Do you need me to go get you some?”

Jungkook slowly shakes his head no. “I need to get out of bed if I want to make it to dance practice.”

At that Yoongi laughs. “Good luck with that.”

Jungkook frowns, glaring at Yoongi. “I’m very capable, I’ll have you know.”

“Your room smells like someone died in here.”

Though he’s usually sensitive to smell, Jungkook’s hungover state keeps him from being able to tell if the room really does stink. “Tae and Jimin cleaned up.”

“Then you must be the dead body,” Yoongi says, in that deadpan kind of way of his. He shrugs his shoulders, before adding, “Anyway, just eat and then take a shower. I’m sure you’ll feel better.”

Jungkook nods and watches as Yoongi makes to move out of his room. Yoongi’s at the door when Jungkook says, “Hyung?” Yoongi turns around, a quizzical look on his features. “Thank you for the soup.”

A smile breaks out across Yoongi’s face. “Anytime.”

And then Yoongi leaves, shutting the door softly behind him, and Jungkook is left alone once again. He looks down at the soup, and he realizes he really is hungry. He pulls the tray closer to him, making sure the soup doesn’t spill over the rim of the bowl, before grabbing the spoon.

The first spoonful of soup has his eyes fluttering shut with delight. Yoongi’s always been an amazing cook, and he hasn’t disappointed today. It awakens Jungkook more than anything else could have, and he’s finished the bowl of soup so quickly he almost considers eating the tray.

He’s still famished, but at least he’s got something in his stomach now. It’s enough to get him to stand from his bed, and though everything wobbles for a few seconds, he’s able to start gathering what he’ll need for his trip to the shower.

The shower really helps make him feel human again, and he’s relieved. As he steps out and looks at himself in the mirror, eyes dipping to his scars, he feels ready to confront the whole world if need be. He won’t have to bail on dance practice after all.

He’s down in the kitchen, eating some reheated pizza from last night, when Hobi arrives. His older friend pats him on the back, before putting down a Gatorade in front of him.

“Thought you’d need this,” he says, before climbing on the stool next to Jungkook.

Jungkook chuckles, immediately uncapping the Gatorade to take a long swig. It’s the last thing he needed to feel as good as new, and he offers Hobi a wide grin as soon as he puts the bottle down.

“I sure did,” he says, and the two friends laugh.

One thing that doesn’t change though, is the heaviness in Jungkook’s heart. Because if you know, then it’s just a matter of time before the rest of the crew knows. He doesn’t think he’ll be able to deal with everyone pitying him at the same time.

Maybe then he’ll just have to dip again.

Jin comes into the kitchen, and he stops as he sees Jungkook and Hobi at the counter. Valeria trails behind him, and Jungkook is struck dumb once more.

He never thought Jin would be able to pull the girl. He’s still surprised that she does exist, and whenever he’s alone with Jin he makes it a priority to remind his older friend.

“Sup’ losers,” Jin says as he starts moving again, heading towards the fridge to store the bottle of rosé wine he’s holding. “Surprised you were able to get out of bed.”

He says that over his shoulder looking right at Jungkook, who rolls his eyes. “I’m not a senior citizen like you, I’ve still got youth on my side.”

“Listen you little shit,” Jin bursts out, and Valeria starts laughing. It has the effect of a calming shower on Jin, who only glares at Jungkook. “You’re lucky the lady is here. Otherwise you’d be dead.”

“If you’d be able to catch me, that is.”

Jin looks towards Hobi.

“Don’t ask me for help,” Hobi says, raising his hands in defense. “You’re all alone on this.”

Jin’s head turns towards his girlfriend next. She’s shy, and Jungkook has never really talked to her before. So when he and Hobi look at her too, she blushes, before shrugging.

Jin lets out a childish whine, before saying, “Alright then, I’m old.”

“We like you like that.” Valeria is the one that speaks, and Jungkook chokes on a laugh as he turns back towards Jin.

“You heard her.”

Jin is fake-glaring at his girlfriend, but then his features soften. “Yeah, but at least she’s pretty.” And just like that he moves out of the kitchen, pulling Valeria behind him.

“I’ve been told I’m pretty too,” Jungkook yells behind Jin, and Hobi laughs next to him. “He’s so whipped,” Jungkook says after a few seconds, just to make sure Jin is out of earshot. His comment makes him think about another couple that’s starting to form, and he turns to look at Hobi. “And you? What’s up with Jiho?”

Hobi chokes, flushing fully red, up to the top of his ears. “What do you mean?”

Jungkook raises his eyebrows as he tries to hold in the shit-eating smirk that wants to form on his lips. “What do I mean? Why did you invite her yesterday?”

“I –” Hobi says. “I just thought it’d be fun to hang with the crew…”

“The crew?” The smirk has won now, and it breaks across Jungkook’s lips.

“Well, you know, just like…” Hobi falls silent, before letting out a strangled laugh. “I honestly didn’t see it coming.”

It’s cute, and Jungkook’s smirk turns into a softer smile. “To be honest, me neither.”

“She’s got balls though,” Hobi says, laughing lightly this time. “She’s the one who suggested we should go on a date, after dance practice last week.”

All that Jungkook remembers of that night is that he walked with you after. The rest is a blur of anxiety and his leg hurting. But he’s not surprised that Jiho’s got balls: she has to be your closest friend for a reason.

“You said yes, I hope,” Jungkook says.

Hobi slowly nods. “Yeah. But I invited her yesterday because of that too. And we’re going to a restaurant she suggested tomorrow.”

Jungkook doesn’t have to fake the happiness that takes over him right now. He’s happy for his friend, he really is. For his friends, plural. Because Taehyung, Jin, Yoongi and now Hobi… They’re all happy. They all have met someone, someone to care for them where no one else can. Strangely, it’s something Jungkook doesn’t really want for himself right now, maybe because he’s too stuck in the past.

Too stuck trying to heal from the crash, knowing some parts won’t ever heal and refusing to give up the fight for now.

It brings him back to you. To last night, and to whatever he said. He wishes he could remember the words, just to know how bad he fucked up, but he doesn’t. He won’t remember, and he won’t ask you.

He won’t take you up on your offer for coffee. He knows pity when he sees it, and he abhors it. Especially when it comes from you.

Instead, he focuses on Hobi, on the smile that lights up his friend’s face as he tells him about Jiho, about how they’ve been texting almost constantly. It’s all Hobi talks about on the ride to the studio, as he mentions stuff Jiho told him.

Stuff she told him about her when she was younger, but also about you. About how you’ve been friends since the first day of kindergarten, when someone pulled her braids and laughed at her and you punched them in the face.

He’s not surprised child you would punch someone that deserved it in the face. He’s pretty sure adult you would do it too.

Hobi parks his car next to the studio, and they are getting out of the vehicle when Jungkook notices you walking, hands buried in yet another oversized sweater. You’re wearing yoga pants underneath, and your hair is pulled up in a high ponytail. You catch his gaze a few seconds after he notices you, and he’s about to smile at you when you just look away, walking in the building without once glancing back.

What the fuck?

Jungkook frowns, especially as Hobi says, “What happened with Y/n last night?”

For some reason, Jungkook immediately grows defensive. He shrugs, a little vehemently before starting to walk towards the door. “Nothing happened. Just let it slip that I got into a car crash.”

“So she knows?” Hobi asks.

Another shrug of Jungkook’s shoulders. He buries his hands in the pockets of his black sweatpants, just to hide the way he’s clenching his fists even though he’s trying to stay calm. “Yeah. So everyone will know.”

“I don’t think so,” Hobi says, and Jungkook glances at him, brows knit together. “I mean, she’s good at keeping secrets.”

“She’s probably already told Jiho,” Jungkook points out as they reach the door. He doesn’t see you on the other side, and that’s the only reason why he opens it.

“Well, Jiho didn’t say anything about you, if that can reassure you.”

Hobi has felt the switch in his mood, hasn’t he? Because his voice is careful, as if he’s afraid to spook him.

“I don’t care,” Jungkook lies. Because he really does care. He doesn’t want everyone to know. Because it makes it too real, and for now he still can pretend it hasn’t happened.

He wishes for it to stay that way.

Hobi doesn’t push him more, and a tense silence moves between them. Jungkook wishes he could go back to his previous good mood about his friends’ happiness, but he’s back where he was last night. Somewhere in the dark of his own mind.

Not a good place to hang, if he’s honest.

He already knows he’s going to see you when he reaches the studio. Somehow, it still makes his heart constrict in his chest, that same way it did last night. As if someone is clenching their fist around it, and it makes it harder to breathe. He shrugs it off, taking a deep breath to calm down, before looking around.

Everyone but Heather is already here. And no one is looking at him, no one seems surprised or seems to be pitying him. You don’t even act like you noticed him entering – you take off your sweater, dropping it in a corner of the room with your phone and your keys. He hates it, but his eyes follow the curves of your body, and he wants to curse you for only wearing a sports bra.

Your body is lean, the results of dancing for most of your life with a mother that used to be a ballerina. Jungkook is pretty sure she’s controlled everything you ate growing up, and drilled it so hard into your head that you can’t stand bad food now. He remembers, when you were younger and someone brought cake to practice to celebrate a birthday, you always barely took a bite before saying you were full. You claimed you didn’t like cake, but he always noticed the way you eyed it while everyone else ate.

He used to make fun of you for it, and today he knows he was an asshole. All he can hope is that your relationship with food is better now. And it looks like it is – you’re not as thin as you were before. You look healthy, and your skin and hair are glowing.

It takes him a few good seconds to realize he’s staring, as if something about you has changed. And he doesn’t know what changed, just knows that he feels struck.

You notice him staring, and you furrow your brows. “What are you looking at?”

It’s said aggressively. As if you’re angry. He only then realizes that you might be, and maybe that’s why you ignored him outside. He can’t for the life of himself figure out why you’d be angry – did he say something yesterday?

“Nothing,” he replies, and he looks away as his heart beats out of his chest.

You act like that for the whole of practice. For all the pity looks Heather throws his way, you send twice as many glares. It feels like last night never happened, and maybe it didn’t. Maybe it was just a nightmare, and he never told you everything.

He knows you know though, because whenever he puts too much weight on his leg as he demonstrates the movements he has in mind, you clench your jaw. A muscle feathers under your skin, and then you look away. Shame passes on your features, and then it’s gone to be replaced with a scowl.

He’s getting tired of it by the end of practice, so he pulls you aside to talk. Jiho stubbornly stays next to you, until Hobi walks up to her and asks if he can talk to her, probably sensing that Jungkook needs some time alone with you.

You both glare at each other while the others filter out, wishing you good night. Jungkook hears Scottie teasing Lance about meeting up with a girl, and the last thing he hears is Lance telling him to fuck off before everyone is finally out.

It takes almost twenty seconds before you blink and say, “What do you want?”

“What’s wrong with you?” he asks, folding his arms on his chest as he cocks an eyebrow.

You scoff. “With me? Nothing. What’s wrong with you?”

Do you know or do you not? He’s a little confused as you just look at him, clearly expecting an answer. He’s dumbfounded – the last thing he expected from telling you everything was you being furious at him.

“Did I do something wrong?” he asks.

It’s just a back and forth of questions at this point, with no visible answers in the distance. Indeed, you just say, “Do you think you did something wrong?”

It’s absurd, and it makes him laugh. Which, he reckons, might be taken as insulting. And of course you take it the bad way, because how else would you take it?

“You’re so fucking oblivious,” you grumble.

He’s still laughing. He wants to stop, but for some reason he cannot.

“What’s so funny?” you enquire, and your cheeks are turning red.

“Just,” he starts, “I don’t know. The last thing I expected from last night was you getting angry at me.”

You roll your eyes. “If you were looking for pity you won’t get any from me.”

That’s the thing. He doesn’t want any pity from you. And you saying so makes something warm blossom in his chest, and it sobers him up. His face falls serious, and he holds your gaze long enough that you raise your eyebrows in question.

“Thank you,” he says.

You scoff. “You’re fucking weird, Jeon.”

He shrugs. “That’s why you like me, uh?”

Your eyes widen, and you look so appalled he just starts laughing again. “Quite the opposite actually,” you say even though he’s laughing. “What’s wrong with you?”

“I don’t know,” he repeats. “I’m just relieved you haven’t changed.”

He really is. You have no idea how much.

“Okay?” you let out, and it sounds like a question. You scoff again, before adding, “Why didn’t you reply to my text?”

Oh, so this is what it’s about. You’re upset because he ignored your text. It feels absurd and stupid and inconsequential in the grand scheme of things, so Jungkook just smiles and shrugs. “I genuinely don’t really want to talk about last night. I’m all okay today.”

And he does think he is, now that he’s talking to you.

You remain silent for a while, pulling at some dry skin on your bottom lip. You then brush a strand of hair that’s fallen from your ponytail behind your ear, nodding your head. “Understood. Won’t be nice to you again.”

“Oh please,” Jungkook teases. “You can’t resist it.”

He’s happy. The more he talks to you, the happier he is. He feels like he’s floating, and he wishes you’d both stay right then and there, in the studio, until the end of time.

He hasn’t felt so light in forever.

“Oh, I can, Jeon.” You fold your arms on your chest, imitating his posture. “Watch me.”

But there’s a teasing glint in your eyes, probably awakened by his own teasing demeanour.

“I’m sorry I didn’t reply to your text,” he apologizes, because he feels like he needs to clear the air with you. He doesn’t want you to be upset with him anymore. “I genuinely didn’t know what to say, and I figured I was going to see you tonight anyway.”

You look away for the first time in the conversation. Your eyes move down, and he’s pretty sure you’re looking at the scar on his stomach. It makes it itch, and if he weren’t with you, he’d scratch it. But he resists, offering you a tight-lipped smile as you look up at his eyes again.

“Well, forget I suggested coffee then,” you say. You wink at him. “I’ll start being a bitch again now.”

“Please do.”

You look startled. “You want me to be a bitch?”

He laughs, scratching the nape of his neck. “No.” He scrunches up his nose, thinking really hard about what he wants to say. Only he doesn’t know what to say. He feels like he’s never talked to you before in his whole life. He can barely remember breaking down in front of you not even twenty-four hours ago. “Yes? Just be your same usual self.”

“Noted,” you say, nodding your head forcefully.

It’s cute, and it makes your ponytail swing behind you. He has half a thought to reach and pull on it, just to annoy you, but he resists.

Instead, he looks around, before resuming his attention on you. “Just, one thing.”

You hold his gaze, cocking an eyebrow in question as you purse your lips. “Mmh?”

“Please don’t tell the others,” he says. It’s a little more serious than he was just a second ago, but he feels like it’s needed to get the point across. “I’d prefer if they didn’t know.”

The corners of your lips stretch into a small, soft smile. “I didn’t plan on telling anyone. I figured you’re the one that should tell them if you want to.” You glance towards the door, and you’re not watching him when you add, “I think Bridget told Heather though. And I don’t know if Heather will remain silent”.

He doesn’t care if Heather tells the others. He just doesn’t want you to do it. It makes no sense, but at the same time it makes all the sense in the world to him.

“Yeah, I think she knows too.” He pulls at his piercing, letting out a small sigh. “I’ll talk to her.”

You nod, and the room falls silent. He wishes he had more to tell you, but it seems you’ve run out of conversation topics, because you eventually wet your lips and say, “Well, I guess I’ll be going home now”. And then you laugh, shaking your head. “I was supposed to leave with Jiho, but I’m pretty sure she’s gone with Hobi.”

“Hobi talked about her for like an hour before we got here,” Jungkook admits, relieved that you provided a topic. “They’re going on a date tomorrow.”

You smile, widely, and he reckons you’re like him. Your friends’ happiness makes you happy, and happiness truly looks good on you. It makes your eyes sparkle, and you look like a kid who’s just received the perfect gift on Christmas morning.

“I know!” you yelp, taking him by surprise when you even clap your hands. “They’re going to the restaurant I suggested.”

There’s something warm in Jungkook’s chest. It just becomes stronger and stronger the more he looks at you, and it makes him feel wary. Enough so that he looks away and tries to tame it down.

“I hope everything will work out for them,” he says, and he scrapes his throat because the warmth is choking him up now.

“I’m sure it will”, you reply, confidently. “Jiho has been into him for like three years now.”

Jungkook feels bad for her, because three years ago Hobi was still with his ex. But it seems patience makes miracles, because she’s getting a date with Hobi now, isn’t she?

It makes Jungkook realize that sometimes, the right person for someone might have been around all along. They’ve just been blind to it. Now, that’s a thought that makes him want to get out of this room. To flee this cloud before it breaks, and he meets your gaze.

You’re watching him already, with a wistful look on your features. “I’m glad you’re okay.”

He hates it. Hates everything that your little sentence makes him feel, so he just nods his head, before saying, “It’s getting late, I should hurry if I want to catch the bus”.

Your eyes widen. “I’ll order you a Lyft, come on.”

“No!” he refuses. “It’s all good.”

“But it’s late,” you insist, and you bend down to grab your phone on your sweater.

It offers Jungkook a straight view to your cleavage, and he freezes, right as pink dusts his cheeks. “I swear,” he reassures you, adding your name before continuing, “I’d rather take the bus. But thank you for the offer.”

You fake-glare at him. “Right, I’m supposed to be a bitch anyway.” You fold your arms on your chest, cocking an eyebrow arrogantly, and you look just like you’ve always looked when you say, “What the fuck are you still doing here? You’re wasting my oxygen.”

It makes the both of you laugh, and Jungkook just shakes his head. “Please, I know you love looking at me.”

You look offended, somehow, and you scoff. “I’d rather gouge my eyeballs out of my head instead of having to look at you for a second longer.”

“Ouch, that was rough.”

“You deserved it.” You shrug your shoulders, before motioning at the door in a swooshing motion. “Now, go lick your wounds somewhere else.”

“Aren’t you leaving too?”

You glare at him now, and you’re so good at it he almost thinks you’re angry. “Why, do you want to walk me home?”

His mouth falls open. Would you let him walk you home? For some reason, he’s pretty sure you’ll punch him if he even suggests it. So instead, he chooses to say, “And suffer the whole way? Nah, I’m good.”

It’s a low-key mention of his injury. You immediately catch on to it, and Jungkook hates the look that takes over your features. He thought that you didn’t have pity for him in you, but it seems you do. You do and it feels like the fist around his heart is back, and the air burns a little.

You seem like you want to say something, but he’s quicker than you.

“Don’t look at me like that.”

“Jungkook.”

“No, I’m serious, don’t you fucking look at me like that.”

And just like that the light atmosphere shifted back into darkness.

You scoff, shaking your head. “And here I was starting to think that you’re a decent guy. Never mind, Jeon.” You scoff once more, and the corners of your mouth are pulled down in a look of pure disgust. “I’m going home.”

He lets you go. He doesn’t even look at you as you pick up your stuff and leave, not once glancing back.

No matter how enjoyable this interlude in your usual relationship was, Jungkook prefers the usual hate. It’s safer, more comfortable, and a habit that protects him from the vulnerability.

Why then is he staring at your text two hours later in his bed at home, unable to fall asleep, wishing he didn’t say what he did?

In all truth, he knows why, he just doesn’t want to formulate the thought. Doesn’t want to give it the power to exist in the confines of his brain. So he ignores it, shoves the warmth in his chest so far down in the hole occupied by his lost dream that he can’t really feel it anymore.

Only then does he feel safe again, but he still can’t fall asleep.

He hopes you’re not struggling with insomnia as much as he is.

Thursday, June 28th

The auditions for nationals are in a week. Seven days, and you’re still not sure you’ve mastered the choreography well. You’re anxious – have been for weeks now – and all you want is to lie down on the floor until everything is over.

Which, coincidentally, is what Lance has been doing for the last fifteen minutes, claiming he needed a break from Jungkook. Because Jungkook is worse than Hobi, making you repeat the choreography for stupid unnecessary things like Jiho’s hair was in her face or Scottie’s shirt rode too high while he was doing a certain move.

In May, when you learned about what happened to Jungkook, you had a few days of feeling bad for him. Wishing you didn’t get in a fight with him during that dance practice, wishing your relationship with him wasn’t just hateful.

It feels like there’s been too much history between you for it to ever change. Because you saw a glimpse of something else, for a few minutes that night. Jungkook was more open, calmer, and his expressions were set in a softer look. It was easier to be around him, more enjoyable, and you wished for a fleeting moment that it could last.

Alas, it only lasted a few minutes before he moved back to the harsh look he reserved for you, only because he assumed you were pitying him. Which, maybe you were. You don’t know. It’s hard to tell when you haven’t been through what he has, and when you can tell he suffers.

But you’re not sure if it’s pity or concern. You don’t think he can tell the difference either.

“Lance,” you grumble as you finish the choreography, heart beating out of your chest. “Get the fuck up we need you.”

Lance mumbles something incoherent, before turning his head away from where you’re glaring at him. It makes you look up to catch Jungkook’s gaze, and he immediately looks away the moment your eyes meet. He’s been doing that a lot now too. Where he used to glare at you or smirk insufferably, Jungkook just ignores you.

You don’t think you like it. But you’ve gotten used to it over the course of the last few weeks, so you just roll along with it now.

You’ve kept his secret safe. You thought it would be hard, especially to hide it from Jiho, but after a few days it just became normal. Jiho has more to tell you about Hobi anyway.

Because they’ve found time to go on dates every week since then. Sweet dates, with him picking her up and bringing her flowers and doing things that he knows make her happy. Even at dance practice, everyone can see how they are sickly into each other. You’re happy for Jiho, you really are, but it’s starting to feel a little lonely.

At least you’ve got Jo and the other girls now too. You’ve met the mysterious Kiko now – a sweet girl with the voice of an angel – and your girl’s nights with Jiho have turned into Thirsty Thursdays. You haven’t understood the meaning of the Thirsty yet, considering all of them are dating now, but you just roll along with it.

It’s led to fun nights, and that really is the only thing that matters, right?

Tonight makes no exception. Jiho, Heather and you have dance practice until 10 pm, and then you’re supposed to meet with the girls at a bar on their side of town. Which means you’re already dressed up, though you put on a sports skirt to avoid showing off your ass to the rest of the boys. Not that it would matter – Scottie is not interested in women at all, Lance only has eyes for Chaeyeon now, Hobi is way too respectful for that and Jungkook doesn’t even look at you anymore.

You scoff, glancing away from Jungkook to settle your gaze back on Lance. “Get up,” you repeat, before walking over to him to kick him in the ribs. “Or I’ll tell Chaeyeon how much of a loser you are.”

He fakes offence. “Me, a loser? Nah, we’re going to win this shit.”

The sudden confidence is a boost to everyone’s mood, and soon enough you’re back to dancing, with a much-needed vigor. It’s enough that Jungkook lets you go after you’ve done the choreographies two times more, telling everyone they did a good job.

“Same time Saturday,” he says.

You think you notice him looking at you in the mirror, but as soon as you turn your head in that direction he’s already glanced away, focusing himself on typing something on his phone.

“We know,” Lance says jokingly, before punching Jungkook in the shoulder.

Jungkook snickers, and he deadpans, “You were two hours late last week because you were too busy with your girlfriend”.

“Can’t blame me,” Lance says, shrugging his shoulders. “Chae comes first, the rest of you can suck it up.” It’s cute and endearing, and your heart feels warm as Lance glances your way. You have no idea what brings him to think of that, but he scans the whole room before suggesting, “We should rent a cottage. After the auditions. We should all get shitfaced for three days straight.”

Hobi laughs from where he’s standing next to Jiho. “Scottie is too young for that.”

“Hey, I’m twenty-two!” Scottie exclaims. “I can get shitfaced.”

“You’re a baby,” Heather puts in. “Just accept it. I refuse to acknowledge the fact you are major now.”

Scottie rolls his eyes, placing a sassy fist on his hip. “Then sucks to be you because I am, and I’m going to get shitfaced with Lance. Right?”

Lance has a large grin on his lips. “Damn fucking right.”

“As long as we get a cottage with a hot tub I’m in,” Jiho says innocently. Hobi cocks an eyebrow as he looks at her, as if he didn’t just say Scottie can’t go. “What?” Jiho adds, shrugging her shoulders. “A cottage weekend does sound like fun.”

It does. It really does. You haven’t gone to the countryside in years now, and you can already picture a cute, picturesque cottage on the side of a lake, with a long quay you can lie on and stargaze. The cottage has a fireplace, a circle of rock in the middle of which flames burn at night until they turn to embers and you roast marshmallows on it. You can almost feel the warmth of the hot tub, and the laughter of friends seems to almost overtake your ears…

Yeah, you’re due for a trip out of the city.

“I want marshmallows,” you say, sighing dreamily. “I haven’t had marshmallows since like…”

“Since the camping trip when we were thirteen? When Jisung got shit on by that seagull?”

You burst out laughing at the same time as Jiho does, right as the memory comes back to you. It had been a fun camping trip, with Jiho’s parents renting a camper. They had invited you along on their trip, and you had gone to the beach with them.

Good memories indeed.

Your laughter recedes, and you notice everyone is looking at you. Even Jungkook. His eyes are a little widened, as if he’s surprised, and there’s a light flush on his cheeks when he looks away.

It’s the strangest sight to see, and you’re unable to shake the feeling away while you get ready with Jiho later to rush to the bar where Jo and the others are already waiting for you. Jiho notices your unease as she applies your eyeliner.

“What’s up with you?”

“Nothing,” you immediately say, way too fast for it to sound casual.

She just cocks an eyebrow and keeps applying the makeup. At least she has the decency to ignore the blush that creeps on your cheeks.

“It’s just…” you sigh, and turn your head when she starts to work on your second eye. “I don’t know.”

“Jungkook?”

You want to kill her for knowing you so well, so you remain silent, choosing peace over violence.

“I’m going to say something right now that might make you want to kill me,” Jiho says, lips pursed.

“I would advise not saying it,” you mumble and she playfully pats your cheek.

“Don’t move.” You pout, but obey nonetheless. She continues working in silence for a time, before saying, “I know about the accident”.

Your heart stops in your chest, and you’re pretty sure all colours have drained out of your features. You still try to play it cool, saying, “What accident?”

“February last year? Jungkook got injured, then ghosted us. Ring a bell?”

You can’t really pretend you don’t know what she’s talking about, can you? “How do you know?”

“Hobi told me,” she admits. “He made me promise to never talk about it, but he mentioned you knew already.”

“Oh.”

“I don’t blame you for not telling me,” she reassures you, having sensed your discomfort. “Actually, it tells a lot about your relationship with JK that you respected his decision.”

You scoff as she pulls the eyeliner away from your face, putting it down on her vanity to grab her La Neige lip tint. “My relationship with Jungkook? We’re not even friends.”

“Why though?”

It’s a good question that just pisses you off further. “Because he’s a dick. He told me about the accident and got angry at me for looking concerned and then he started ignoring me.” You chuckle bitterly. “It’s not like I’m going to try and make him talk to me. I don’t give a shit about him.”

Jiho is silent for a long time. Far too long for it to be normal. Like she doesn’t believe you at all and is waiting for you to realize. You’re just as stubborn, so you don’t say anything as she puts the lip tint on her pretty lips.

It makes for an awkward two minutes, but she’s the one that breaks first. “You don’t believe that.”

You furrow your brows. “Why the fuck would you say that?”

She laughs. Not in a mean way, probably just because your cheeks are burning and she believes she can read you like the back of her hand. “Because you don’t believe that.”

You fold your arms on your chest, sitting back in the chair she’s forced you to sit in while she did your eyeliner. You remain silent once again, clenching your jaw as you choose not to get upset. You’re not sure it works, and Jiho just playfully punches you on the shoulder.

“Calm down, babe,” she says. “He’s changed.”

“He’s still an ass with me,” you point out. “He’s changed with the rest of you guys, but he’s even worse with me. He’s been completely ignoring me for weeks.”

“Because he’s scared of what you think about him.”

“He doesn’t give a shit about what I think of him? He’s made that clear enough.” Jiho goes back to her infuriating silence. And you don’t want the conversation to keep going in that direction, so you ask, “How has it been going with Hobi anyway?”

She flushes red as she always does whenever Hobi is mentioned. “Do not think this conversation is over,” she says, threatening you with the lip tint bottle. “But it’s been…” She chuckles. “It’s been great. I think we’re pretty much official now.”

It’s disgustingly cute. It makes you think of Lance and Chaeyeon, of Heather and Bridget, Jo and Taehyung and Kiko and Yoongi…

It makes you feel lonely, like Lance did earlier. It’s a feeling you’ve grown accustomed to growing up, so it’s easy to let it slide over you instead of letting it fester inside.

“Look at you,” you say teasingly. “Who knew you’d pull your lifelong crush?”

“Lifelong?” she snickers. “I’ve had a crush on him for like two years.”

You throw a no-bullshit look her way.

“Okay maybe three…”

It makes you both laugh, and it diffuses the situation that was escalating just a moment ago. You’re relieved, because you’re pretty sure if she mentioned Jungkook just once more you would have blown up in her face.

You take shots downstairs with Jisung and Felix before going, and you giggle in the Lyft on the way to the bar the other girls chose. As per usual, you’re the two last to get there – fashionably late is the way to go, right?

It takes you way too long to realize girl’s night will in fact not be girl’s night. Yoongi is the first you notice, maybe because he’s looking at the exit when you walk in, as if he’s just waiting for the right time to bail. He nods as he sees you, and Kiko turns. She smiles her shy smile, the one that doesn’t show her teeth, and she nods as well, almost a copycat of her boyfriend.

Then it’s like a domino effect, and everyone turns to look at you. Nine pairs of eyes, all on you: Jin, Valeria, Taehyung, Jo, Bridget, Heather, Kiko, Yoongi and Jimin. The latter offers you a secretive smile.

You might have been texting him a little. Nothing serious, but he does appear in your dms once in a while, replying to a story you posted. You always decided to ignore him, only liking his replies, but tonight there’s something in the way Park Jimin is looking at you, sitting there, that makes something warm trickle down your spine.

Maybe because of your conversation with Jiho. It’s hard to tell, and your best friend pulls you towards the rest of the group before you can figure it out. The feeling only increases tenfold when you stop next to the table, and Jimin gets up to greet you, quickly followed by the others.

You hug everyone, and Jo holds you a second longer. “Sorry for inviting the rest, Tae begged and I figured…” You pull away from the hug, and she does have a sheepish look on her features. “Thirsty Thursday doesn’t mean no men?”

You laugh at that comment, shrugging your shoulders. “It’s fine, don’t worry.”

And really, you don’t mind. You like hanging out with them all. You’re relieved they didn’t think to invite Jungkook though, because one thing you’ve figured is that, where Jimin goes Jungkook usually follows.

The night starts off with talking and a few drinks with the group, until you find yourself intoxicated more than you have initially planned to. It doesn’t really matter – you have a day off tomorrow at the internship. Indeed, it only goes from Monday to Thursday, since the lawyer you follow takes the day off on Fridays for the whole of summer.

So you drink, and when they clear a spot for the dancefloor, you let Jiho pull you to it. Let her dance with you, like you usually do when you’re trying to get a guy’s attention. You reckon she’s drunker than you – she’s a giggly mess and she keeps stepping on your feet, which she never usually does. It’s fun, and you feel some anxiety peel away from your skin as if you’re an onion and someone’s about to cut you up to pieces.

You do feel like somebody is about to cut you up to pieces when Jimin moves closer to you, and the smirk on his lips sets something on fire inside of you. Or maybe it’s the alcohol. It doesn’t matter because you pull away from Jiho to move closer to him, almost instinctively.

It’s like he fits like a glove. You face him, throwing your arms around his neck to pull him into the dance as his hands find your waist. One of them slips to your back, and he presses you against him as you move to the music, the rhythm a sensual dance between the two of you.

“Hello, you,” he purrs, and you look up at him.

“Hello,” you reply in the same tone, and he makes you spin until your back is facing him. He’s impossibly close and as his hands guide your hips, your eyes trail up.

You entirely stop moving when your gaze meets Jungkook. He’s standing near the door, clad in different clothes than earlier today, but in that same black shade he seems to adore. He also has a chain, with large links that give a rougher vibe to him.

The look on his features is rough too, especially as Jimin leans to speak into your ear. “I thought you might want to piss him off.”

You chuckle, turning your head to gaze at the man behind you over your shoulder. It brings your face way too close to his, and you have to resist the lava in your blood that makes you want to close the gap.

It’s the self-destructive kind of magma, and you don’t feel like indulging in it. Instead, you purr, “Why do you think I’d want to piss him off?”

Jimin chuckles, and you turn your head away from him because damn him, his lips really are inviting. “He’s been a little shit at home. I assume he’s been that way with you too.”

You laugh, and it’s bitter, angry. It surprises even you. “He’s been ignoring me.” You turn in Jimin’s arms, until you’re facing him. You keep your head hung low, enough so that he can’t lean down and press his lips against yours. Jimin is a gentleman though, you know he’d never kiss you without asking for consent first.

“Explains why he’s been a little shit then,” he says matter-of-factly. He straightens a little, putting a comfortable distance between your faces.

“And you think this little show is going to piss him off?”

He smirks, tilting his head to the side. All the while he’s been making you move to the music, and you know to outside gazes you look like you’re flirting. Can planning to piss Jeon Jungkook off count as flirting?

“Oh, I know it will,” Jimin says, shrugging his shoulders. “Jungkook wears his emotions on his face.”

Maybe he does. Around you, his emotion is usually mostly contempt, so you don’t really know.

“What do you gain from pissing him off?” you ask, and you genuinely wonder. What is Jimin trying to do?

“Nothing,” he admits. He purses his lips, before offering you yet another dashing smile. “Mostly I just want to see what he’ll do.”

Jimin pulls you a little closer, and his forehead presses against yours.

“What are you doing?” you murmur, as your heart beats like a hammer against your ribcage. Hell, even if you’re not really into Jimin like that, he’s Park Jimin. You don’t think anyone in their right mind could stay indifferent to him.

“He’s looking right now,” he replies. He chuckles, before saying, “Now, let me tell you what you’re going to do”. His lips move so close to you it feels as if your brain is short-circuiting in your head. “You’re going to act as if I’ve just offended you, and you go to the bathroom.”

“Why?”

“He’ll follow, and maybe he’ll finally…”

Jimin never finishes his sentence. Someone bumps into you, and it breaks the contact between you and him. Instead of pulling you back in, Jimin motions towards the bathroom, offering you an encouraging smile. You’re stunned for a moment, and you hope it does the trick. You hope you really do look offended, because in truth, you were enjoying Jimin’s proximity.

You don’t like that you were. It feels like you shouldn’t be enjoying his proximity at all. He’s not even really your friend anyway.

You don’t have a choice but to follow his advice though, and you turn around, beelining straight to the bathroom. You make your way through the crowd, scrunching up your nose in disgust at the sweaty guy your hand accidentally touched, and a few seconds later you finally find the line to the bathroom.

It’s a unisex bathroom, with three stalls that are currently all occupied. There’s a guy in front of you, and you glare at him as he smiles at you. He frowns, but it works and he turns back around. A stall frees up a little under a minute later, and you’re mindlessly watching a girl washing her hands when a large hand finds the small of your back.

You startle, and you turn around fully ready to knock some sense into whoever it is, until you see it’s Jungkook.

You freeze for a few seconds, and then let out a laugh as you realize whatever Jimin was doing worked.

“You and Jimin, uh,” Jungkook says bitterly, and his hand clenches into a fist where it falls at his side.

You cock your head to the side. “So you’re talking to me now?”

He plays with his piercing in silence, before scoffing. “I was never not talking to you.” You widen your eyes and let out a disbelieved laugh as you fold your arms on your chest. “I’m serious,” he adds. “I just…”

“Don’t even try to explain, Jeon, save your oxygen.”

He’s frowning now, and you reckon he probably has the same expression on his features that you have on yours. “I thought you said you weren’t going to flirt with Jimin.”

“That was over a month ago,” you point out. “People change, unless you haven’t noticed.”

“Oh, I know,” he says, chuckling bitterly. “But Jimin? There are dozens of guys in this bar, can’t you just choose someone else to fuck?”

You’re starting to see red. You feel it in the tremble that starts deep down in your core, before taking over the whole of your body. “I’m not going to fuck Jimin. He’s just a friend.”

“You dance with all of your friends like that?”

You turn away from him, hoping one of the stalls will be free now, but you’re in no luck. He grabs your arm, forcing you to turn back around. Your eyes drop to his hand on your arm. His fingers are gentle, way gentler than his features. “Fucking let go of me,” you snap. “I don’t want to talk to you. I don’t know what part of getting into an accident made you want to act like you’re just a fucking victim of everything around you but my life has nothing to do with yours. Why do you fucking care?”

He looks stunned. “I… What?”

His confusion douses your fury, and you furrow your brows. “What do you mean, what?”

“I don’t care.”

You don’t know who he is trying to convince right now. And you don’t feel like getting to the bottom of it with him. In fact, you really don’t like the look on his face, and you just want to put distance between you and him. So you roll your eyes, before saying, “Alright then, leave me alone, Jeon. I won’t dance with Jimin again.”

He doesn’t even look happy or relieved that you’re saying that. Instead, his features fall a little, moving from a frown to a sad expression that makes something stir in your chest. “I… If you want to get with Jimin, you can.”

Now, you really are confused. “You come here to be a little bitch about this all and now you’re saying it’s fine?”

He pulls at his piercing, and his eyes flicker to the man that walks past you, indicating that a stall must be free now. “Yeah. If that’s what you want, who am I to tell you not to do it?”

You don’t know. You have no idea how the conversation managed to take this turn, so you wet your lips, cocking an eyebrow. “What’s wrong with you?”

“I…” he trails off, shrugging his shoulders. “I was being a dick. You’re right, I should stop acting like I’m a fucking victim.”

Now, your heart really does ache in your chest. Because what you said was inconsiderate, and you don’t even really mean it. Not the way that he interpreted it though, that’s for sure.

“Jungkook…”

“No, it’s really okay,” he says. He still looks sad, but he offers you a tight-lipped smile. “I’m sorry.”

Just like that he’s walking away, and why are you following him? You stop him by grabbing his arm, just like he did to you a moment ago. You hold on to him longer than he did to you, because his skin is warm under your fingers. His tattoos didn’t take away the softness of his skin, and you don’t really want to let him go. Not just yet.

“I didn’t mean it.” You look him in the eyes as he turns just enough so that his gaze can meet yours. “I got angry.”

“No but you’re right,” he insists. “I don’t know what I’m doing, I don’t know why I don’t like you talking to Jimin. You can do whatever you want.”

You let his arm go, albeit reluctantly. “If it can reassure you, I am not interested in Jimin like that. Like yes, he’s attractive, but I’m not really looking for a relationship right now.”

At that Jungkook laughs. It’s somehow melancholic, and you reckon you’ve brought his demons to the forefront of his mind tonight. “Jimin-hyung doesn’t do relationships, you’re in luck.”

“No,” you grumble, and you shut your eyes, as if you have to explain something to a thick-headed five years old. “I’m really not interested in Jimin. Like at all.” Your eyelids flutter open, and you catch the movement of Jungkook’s eyes as they snap away from you.

“Okay,” he lets out flatly. “I’m sorry I ruined it.”

He looks genuine. You’d be angry at him if he didn’t really look as genuine as he does right now.

“Nothing’s ruined, I promise,” you reassure him and you offer him a small smile. “I was tired of dancing anyway.”

The word ‘dancing’ has his gaze trail to the dancefloor, and he bites at his piercing before glancing back at you. “Oh.”

You realize this is awkward. Because what you said really seems to have upset Jungkook. And you can’t really blame him, it was low. The only thing is, you’re not close enough to him to make him understand. So all you can do when he says he’s going to head home is wish him goodnight.

You feel horrible as you watch him leave, and he’s only just crossed the doors leading to the world outside when you break into a small jog. You make it outside in a hurry, just to see he’s leaning against the wall next to the door.

He seems startled to see you, and you feel just as startled to see he hasn’t really left yet.

“I was wondering,” you let out, and you take a deep breath to steady yourself. “Are you going to come to the cottage? You didn’t say you would earlier.”

You have no idea why that’s come to your mind, but you’re just going to roll with it.

“Uh.” He glances down at his phone in his hand. “Am I even invited?”

You wet your lips, shrugging. “I mean, you’re part of the crew, of course you are.”

He holds your gaze for so long you think the Earth has time to revolve around the sun once before he speaks again. “Am I really part of the crew?”

You reckon he might need to hear it, so you don’t hesitate when you say, “Of course. We’d be nothing without you.”

At that the sad expression on his features melts away. It does so slowly, starting with his eyes. They crinkle at the corners, sparkling a little, and then it trickles down his face, until the corners of his lips tug upwards. It makes you smile too, and you just gaze at each other like that for a few heartbeats. It feels intimate, miles away from the usual bickering and hatred that you share.

It’s new, but it doesn’t feel scary. Jungkook doesn’t feel scary when he’s smiling softly.

“Yes, I’ll come,” he finally says.

It makes you blink, and it’s like the scene is coming back into focus. You realize there are a couple of people smoking a few meters away, and a soft breeze pushes the smoke towards you. You hate the smell, but somehow you can’t shake the smile from your lips.

“Good.” You nod once, and you glance towards the door. “I guess… I guess I’ll let you go home then.”

He nods too, and he tilts his head to the side. He’s surveying you with those big eyes of his. They shine with stars right now, as if his happiness brings the constellations to his gaze. Or maybe it’s just the reflection from the streetlights and car headlights, but it’s beautiful.

Jungkook has beautiful eyes.

“Just waiting for a Lyft,” he says, motioning up with his phone.

You worry at your lips, before flattening your skirt mindlessly. “Is it going to be here anytime soon?”

He looks at the rectangle of light, face falling serious. It takes him a few seconds, but then he nods. “Yep. Should pull up pretty much now.”

You glance at the two sides of the street, and sure enough a car slows down until it stops in front of you. “Alright then,” you say. “Good night, Jeon.”

You don’t usually say his last name like you said it just now. It feels different, in all the right ways that it can.

“Good night,” he echoes, tentatively adding your name at the end. “I’ll see you at practice Saturday?”

“Yes. See you then.”

You’re grinning like an idiot when you’re home later, thinking of the interaction. It felt refreshing to be with Jungkook like that. As if you can be friends.

You never imagined you would want to be friends with him, but somehow tonight you want it. It only doubles up when a series of texts appears on your screen, hiding the top part of the anime you’re watching in bed before going to sleep.

[3:02 am] unsaved number: lmaooi jmin saud i cockblocled him😂 [3:02 am] unsaved number: cockblocked* [3:02 am] unsaved number: sry im drunk

You laugh softly, turning on your back as you pause the anime. You go to the conversation, and you’re about to reply when he adds,

[3:03 am] unsaved number: plz ignorr this

You don’t hesitate when you save his number under his name.

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☆☆☆☆☆

What do we think of this chapter?? Enemies to lovers not too enemies anymore uh? Hope you liked it! Let me know what you thought!

Taglist: (strike-through means dumblr is not letting me tag you my bad)

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epicbuddieficrecs · 7 months

Text

Weekly recap | October 16th-29th 2023 (Part One)

I've got a banner now! What do you guys think? 😃 Two weeks of fics, it's a long one, I hope you enjoy!

(Edit: yes it says PART ONE because apparently I've read so many fics Tumblr can't handle the amount of links 😭)

Complete

I Was Betting On Forever (But Forever Comes And Goes) by callmenewbie/ @callmenewbie (Car accident | 4K | Teen): Eddie gets a call from Buck in the middle of the night and it’s about as bad as one would expect

Take My Hand and Let’s Pretend by giselleslash/ @gigi-gigi (Getting together | 4K | General): Christopher shows Eddie and Buck how to make braided rings, Eddie does something unexpected, and Buck loses a bit of his sanity over it all.

Love and Bullets Both Shatter Hearts (But Only One Can Put You Back Together) by letmetellyouaboutmyfeels/ @letmetellyouaboutmyfeels (Spies AU | 11K | Explicit): Agent [Redacted] Diaz is the best at what he does. Usually. But lately there's this real pain in the ass* who's been ruining his missions: Code Name "Buck." *stupidly handsome and annoyingly talented rival spy

Guilt Takes a Lunch Break at Two in the Morning by letmetellyouaboutmyfeels/ @letmetellyouaboutmyfeels (PWP, Sexual Fantasy | 1,8K | Explicit): Eddie's married, and he's never going to cheat. Even if his wife hasn't been around. Buck knows Eddie's married, and he's probably not into men, and he won't ruin the best friendship he's ever had. Doesn't mean either of them can't imagine other things.

Direct Deposit by letmetellyouaboutmyfeels/ @letmetellyouaboutmyfeels (PWP, Buck/Connor/Kameron but it's still endgame Buddie | 10K | Explicit): Buck's asked to contribute the old-fashioned way.

in the middle by honestlydarkprincess/ @honestlydarkprincess (PWP, Buck/Eddie/Natalia but endgame Buddie | 4K | Explicit): Or, Eddie walks in on friends with benefits Buck and Natalia. Buck and Eddie figure out their feelings and then the three of them have some fun.

🔥 Your Love is an Oil Slick (It Glows like Rainbows, It Stains My Soul) by letmetellyouaboutmyfeels/ @letmetellyouaboutmyfeels (Canon Divergent - Supernatural Elements, Ghost Buck | 67K | Explicit): When Eddie's son claims he has an imaginary friend, Eddie doesn't think much of it. Christopher is seven, it's what kids do. But then weird things start happening around the house, and Eddie starts dreaming about a handsome blue-eyed man. Turns out, Christopher's friend isn't so imaginary. Their house is haunted.

🔥 my words are paper tigers by hattalove/ @hattalove (Time Loop, Canon Divergent | 20K | Teen): or: buck breaks up with eddie, even if it means losing a part of himself, because it's the right thing to do. the universe decides to test that conviction.

all i wanna do right now. by dylaesthetics (Season 6, Coming Out | 4K | Teen): Eddie starts acting out of character. Buck worries.

remember to remember me by Daffi_990_ao3/ @hannah-ruth-990 (Canon-Divergent, Post-Lightning, Amnesia | 31K | Explicit): Buck and Eddie finally get together only for lightning to strike a few days later, leaving Buck with no memories of them ever becoming a couple.

toy with me by honestlydarkprincess/ @honestlydarkprincess (PWP, Post-S6 | 2K | Explicit): Or, the one where Eddie accidentally walks in on Buck using his new toy.

i am never without it by Maira/ @carrierofthepaperclips (Getting Together | 3K | Teen): Buck takes them out slowly, reverently, giving them their own place on the bedspread. It takes him longer than he thinks - while there aren’t really that many items, he lingers over each one, memories flashing through his mind like quicksilver. He shouldn’t have opened this box.

My dandelion tell me when you've made your mind // Kinktober Day 23 - Overstimulation by Heyimbeccah (PWP, BDSM | 1K | Explicit): Eddie's eyes light up as he rubs his thumb over his cock again and again, drawing a series of whimpers from his throat. "It's gonna hurt, baby," he whispers. "Please," Buck says, his voice breaking.

🔥 stupid people. by brewrosemilk/ @gayhoediaz (Canon Divergent, Sex Worker Buck | 160K | Explicit): New in Los Angeles, and having recently admitted to himself that he's gay, Eddie figures that hiring a sex worker might be a good way to keep his private life cut off from his job and his son. A way to keep things from becoming too complicated. It works. For a while.

believe in one thing (i won't go away) by heartbeatdiaz/ @loserdiaz (Canon Divergent, Post-Coma | 24K | Mature): the one where buck is figuring out stuff after waking up from a coma, eddie misses his best friend and they go to couple's therapy.

you're where i stand, hearing the sea by Maira/ @carrierofthepaperclips (Getting Together | 3K | Teen): ... or the one with the accidental kiss.

With Great Power Comes Great Pining by Princessfbi/ @princessfbi (Post-Lightning, Getting Together | 10K | Teen): It was the lightning strike. That had to be it. It was the only logical conclusion. Though, when it comes to being able to suddenly read people’s minds, Buck supposed there wasn’t a whole lot of logic involved. Well… Not people. Just… Eddie’s mind.

look straight ahead if you like it slow by hattalove/ @hattalove (PWP, Established Buddie | 6K | Explicit): “This gets you going, huh?” Eddie grins, propping himself up on his elbows so he can move higher on the bed, reach the pretty pink bow of Buck’s mouth. “Devotion? You being it for me?” He stretches up toward Buck’s ear, whispers: “Monogamy?”

your long day is over now by hattalove/ @hattalove (Post Season 5, Pre-Buddie | 4K | Teen): or, buck leaves, then comes back home again.

been yours longer than i haven't by hattalove/ @hattalove (Friends to Lovers | 1K | Teen): in which buck tries dating, and eddie has an embarrasing number of oh moments.

never want for more when you're near by hattalove/ @hattalove (Getting Together | 4K | Teen): in which buck gets drunk and sleeps with eddie. except does he?

baby, it's halloween (we can be anything) by heartbeatdiaz/ @loserdiaz (Post-Lawsuit | 2K | Teen): After Eddie forgives him and after they share that hug, Eddie invites Buck to come spend the night of Halloween with Chris and him, where he belongs. More feelings come to light and everything works out for the better.

baby, loving you's the real thing by hattalove/ @hattalove (First Kiss | 2K | Teen): in which eddie, very literally, has a brush with buck 1.0.

can't do a love song (not the way you sang them to me) by hattalove/ @hattalove (Post-Season 1, Neighbours AU | 7K | Mature): in which buck sleeps around for healthy reasons, and thinks about his next-door neighbor a healthy amount.

california wishing on these stars by hattalove/ @hattalove (Post-Season 5, Getting Together | 21K | Teen): in which 'tis the season, buck is single again, and eddie is being very brave about it.

pretty in pink by honestlydarkprincess/ @honestlydarkprincess (PWP, Panties | 4K | Explicit): Or, the one where Eddie finds out Buck's little secret and Buck wrongly assumes he has a problem with it so Eddie has to set things straight.

sucker for pain by prettyboybuckley/ @prettyboybuckley (PWP, Spanking | 2K | Explicit): OR: Buck gets spanked in one of his most intimate places

Make So Much Smoke it Sparks a Fire by letmetellyouaboutmyfeels/ @letmetellyouaboutmyfeels (PWP, Succubi&Incubi | 7K | Explicit): Incubi and succubi are not about sex. They're about lust. Desire. The build up. Driving you so insane that sex is all you can think about, all you want, all you need. Pushing you right over the edge. Naturally, Buck and Eddie like to have fun with this.

Love Like the Ocean (Dirties Your Body, Cleans Your Soul) by letmetellyouaboutmyfeels/ @letmetellyouaboutmyfeels (Mermaid Buck, PWP | 5K | Explicit): Eddie and Buck have been dating for a while, but practicalities have prevented them from having sex in Buck's true form. That's about to change.

I Love Oklahoma by chicklette/ @chicklette (Getting Together | 1,7K | General): Sometimes, you need to be able to call someone out without it being everything. Sometimes, you just need to make a hole and say here: spill it out here. We can grow it or bury it as needed, but you gotta get it out.

lost in your current like a priceless wine by heartbeatdiaz/ @loserdiaz (Established Buddie | 2K | Teen): Eddie jumps into conclusions, him and Karen get drunk and Buck is tired but also amused. It all works in the end.

may these memories break our fall by heartbeatdiaz/ @loserdiaz (Canon Divergent, Married Buddie, Amnesia | 6K | Teen): or: eddie is a soldier coming home for christmas, he wants to surprise his husband and son for the holiday but things don't go as planned.

then through the phone ( came all your tears ) by heartbeatdiaz/ @loserdiaz (Post-Season 5, Dispatcher Eddie | 3K | Teen): After leaving the 118, Eddie becomes a 911 dispatcher.

put on a slow dumb show for you by fleetinghearts/ @shitouttabuck (Getting Together | 2K | Teen): or, they’re sleepy and a little drunk and buck’s one step behind

it can't be unlearned (i've known the warmth of you) by heartbeatdiaz/ @loserdiaz (Werewolf Buck | 4K | Teen): He thinks maybe he fell asleep and he's having a weird dream or something. There's a big— a huge— wolf curling on itself and sleeping soundly where his coffee table should be.

spinning faster than the plane that took you by heartbeatdiaz/ @loserdiaz (Canon Divergent, Post-Coma | 9K | Teen): or: Buck flees to the other side of the world, they're both miserable and also pining idiots in love. Somehow it all works out in the end.

baby, let the games begin by heartbeatdiaz/ @loserdiaz (Post-Season 5, Getting Together | 3K | Teen): There's a baseball game, Eddie pines and Hen is so done with these two idiots.

🔥 Don't They Know It's the End of the World? by Daisies_and_Briars/ @cal-daisies-and-briars (Fallout 4 AU, Post-Apocalyptic | 32K | Mature | Warning: Violence): After being put in a cryogenic sleep for over a hundred years to wait out an apocalyptic event, Eddie Diaz wakes up, too early, to find his son has been stolen from his cryo-chamber. Scared and alone in a frightening world he doesn't recognize, Eddie is willing to do anything to get his kid back.

WIP

and here, too, am i by Daisies_and_Briars/ @cal-daisies-and-briars (Future fic, Married Buddie | 1/3 | 11K | Teen): Six months into their marriage, Eddie is still struggling to decide whether or not he wants more kids, when he knows Buck does. The universe may not scream, but it certainly talks.

🔥 Things We're All Too Young to Know by Daisies_and_Briars/ @cal-daisies-and-briars (Canon, S1 through S6 | 96/? | 245K | Mature): This is a love story. Even if it doesn’t always look like it. Even if it doesn’t always feel like it. A look back on Eddie and Buck's lives up to now, and what led them to each other, interpreted from the current 9-1-1 canon.

Innocence died screaming, honey, ask me I should know by JJK/ @trenchcoatsandtimetravel (Demon Buck, Canon Divergent | 5/? | 9K | Teen): Buck is a demon with the power to help with pregnancy, childbirth, and infant health. When the Buckleys make a deal asking for someone to help 'save their baby', Buck leaps at the chance as it will give him what he's always wanted: a life on earth. But demon deals are tricky and neither of them gets quite what they're after. This is Buck's journey as he navigates growing up on earth and remembering how to help those in need.

Re-Read

I Opened My Eyes and There You Were by letmetellyouaboutmyfeels/ @letmetellyouaboutmyfeels (Post-Season 3, Getting Together | 4K | Explicit): In which Buck provides the dots and Eddie finally connects them.

Drowning in Dreams (You're My Raft) by letmetellyouaboutmyfeels/ @letmetellyouaboutmyfeels Post-Tsunami, Getting Together | 5K | Explicit): In which Buck sleeps his way into a relationship with Eddie, but not in the way you'd think.

Like a Sack of Bricks by letmetellyouaboutmyfeels/ @letmetellyouaboutmyfeels (Getting Together | 2K | Teen): One word from Christopher, and Eddie's realizing he's made a serious miscalculation about his best friend.

Love Like Taffy by letmetellyouaboutmyfeels/ @letmetellyouaboutmyfeels (PWP, Dom/Sub | 4K | Explicit): Buck likes it when Eddie puts him in his place. And Eddie's noticed.

🔥 let's hear it for the boy by hattalove/ @hattalove (Post-Season 5, Coming Out | 56K | Teen): in which eddie attends a self-empowerment group for gbtq men to supplement his therapy, and is empowered to: forgive himself, say "i'm gay" to his own reflection in the mirror, accidentally adopt an adult, make fried rice, and tell his straight best friend that he's in love with him. not necessarily in that order.

rainbows have nothing to hide by hattalove/ @hattalove (Getting Together | 3K | Teen): how is eddie diaz like kermit the frog? let buck and christopher count the ways. (Part 1 of the kermit verse)

this savoir faire by hattalove/ @hattalove (Established Buddie | 5K | Teen): or, the one in which embracing the meme life turns out to be more complicated than eddie expected. (Part 2 of the kermit verse)

#buddie #buddie fic rec #buddie fanfic #buddie fic #epic buddie fic rec #911 fanfiction #911 fic #911 fanfic

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pluto-supremacy · 2 months

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Will there be a part three of the Vi dating femreader at Stillwater where the Reader gets out of Stillwater and Vi makes it up to the Reader after they reunite? Maybe either the Reader gets out on her own and they reunite in Zaun or Vi comes back to get her out like she promised and they are reunited that way and she makes up for all the lost time since she left her there and promises she will never leave her again, that she loves the Reader with all her mind, body and soul. If Caitlyn is there she apologizes to both Vi and the Reader for separating them once she sees them together and how they are with each other and that she should have fought harder to get the Reader out the first time before Vi and Reader have their life after Stillwater, then maybe a time skip or something where we see Vi and the Reader living together and after Stillwater. That part two was heart-wrenching and would love for Vi to make good on her promise of coming back for the Reader like she said she would, so they can be free and live a better life outside of Stillwater.

Vi Fic: Miss Me?

➼ I'm so glad everyone is liking the Vi series! This will likely be the last part, at least for Stillwater. Maybe I'll have little au's as to how the story ends. Have some fluff to make up for what I put y'all through last time

➼ Continuation of Vi Fic: Bye Bye Bun

➼ This definitely diverges from canon, so please keep that in mind. I didn't have it in me to give an angsty ending (this time). Consider this a little fix-it fic for the end of season 1

➼ No beta we die like some random enforcer (I've officially run out of people season 2 come faster)

➼ Warnings: None!

GIF does not belong to me! All credits to the owner

The days started to blur together. Each passing moment seemed more painful than the last. Vi left you. Left you with that enforcer to rot in Stillwater. Sure she promised to come back, and for a while you were hopeful. Vi had no reason to just leave you behind. That didn't make any sense. Even with the warden saying he could ‘only release one’. Bullshit. Vi should’ve fought harder. She could’ve gotten both of you out, you knew that. If this enforcer needed her so bad then she’s have to do what she asked, even against the warden’s wishes.

While it was hard to keep track of time behind bars, you were certain it had been at least a week. Or it at least felt like a week. Around day three you had lost all hope that your girlfriend was coming back for you. What could take her this long? Nothing. Absolutely nothing in your eyes at least. Vi didn’t even offer an explanation, just that she’d be back. Who does that? Certainly there had been enough time for her to at least say something like 'If I don't go they'll kill me'. Was that even what happened? Or was this the out Vi had been looking for? Had she ever even cared..?

Some days you went with no. Others it was yes. No was the more common answer now. Well hopefully that enforcer was happy with what she had done. What relationship she had torn apart. It was just after lunch when you had been returned back to your cell. Lately you haven't had much of an appetite, the prison uniform you wore hanging slightly looser than usual. It was hard to eat when all you could think about was what Vi could be doing. Fighting. Cheating. Running away. Dying. Of course you only imagined the worst. Never that she was currently racing towards Stillwater like a man on a mission.

Which she was.

The last few days had gone by so fast and so slow at the same time for Vi. Each time she closed her eyes she saw you, she saw Powder, she saw the both of you begging her not to leave. It haunted her, plagued her every waking thought. The guilt of leaving you behind was eating her alive. If it wasn't for how many times she had gotten her ass kicked lately she might've had time to really revel in the fact that she may have lost you forever. She would fix this though. Vi knew that she would. Part one of her plan was already complete.

She had Powder back. For the most part.

After the little dinner party ended with Silco dying, Vi pleaded with her younger sister. Pleaded with her to do the right thing for Milo, for Claggor, for Vander, for her. At the last second it seemed like her Jinx persona had began crumbling away. She dropped the weapon she had built and ran to her older sister, crying and hugging her tight. Catilyn, who had been tied up and gagged by a mask, was relieved to say the least.

After untying both of them Powder handed over the gemstone to Caitlyn. She hadn't wanted it anyways, not really. It was Silco who planted the seed in her head to build the weapon. Every now and then Vi could see Jinx trying to peak through, trying to take over Powder. Maybe one day Jinx would finally go away. Maybe she would always be a part of her, whispering in her ear to turn on those she loved. Either way Vi was keeping her close, not wanting to make the same mistake twice. She promised Powder it would be them again, but with just one new addition.

Now Vi, Powder, and Caitlyn were on the boat to Stillwater. Powder had been asking a million different questions about you. There was part of her, the Jinx part, that resented you. Like you took her sister away from her despite the pair of you meeting when Vi had already been in Stillwater for some time. But mostly she was just excited to see whoever made her sister this happy. The instant the boat was docked Vi ran off, clutching the release papers in her right hand. Caitlyn and Powder were right behind her, albeit a bit slower.

Vi slammed the papers down on the warden's desk with a smirk as soon as she made it up to his desk. "Orders from Councilor Talis to release prisoner 381. Immediately." She stated. The warden wasn't exactly pleased with the orders, but begrudgingly agreed. Mostly since he now had no choice with new orders. That and it would be three against one, and Vi had already put up a fight in the past when it was just her. The one with the blue hair also looked unstable, so best not to mess with that.

Confusion overwhelmed you as the doors to your cell opened. The first thought you had was that this was a trap. A guard opened the doors and was waiting for you to try and escape. That's the only thing it could be. At least until you saw pink hair peaking out from around the corner of your wall. "VI!" you yelled, your feet carrying you forward and before you even realized there was a familiar pair of strong arms around you. "I've got you bun, I've got you" she whispered as she pulled you close, hiding her face in your hair. For a while neither of you said a word, falling into a comfortable silence. At some point tears had began falling down your cheeks, you weren't too sure when. Only this time they weren't sad tears. They were tears of relief and happiness. Eventually you broke the silence. "You came back after all."

Those words hit Vi hard. You really didn't think she would keep her word? Though she couldn't find it in herself to blame you for that. After all, she did just up and leave without running you through what was happening. There just wasn't time in the moment. "Of course I did. I promised I'd come back and get you. I'd never lie to you." she whispered, her grip tightening. "I'm back and we're leaving this place for good. We'll never see Stillwater again."

When you finally pulled away you realized that you weren't alone. There was the enforcer from earlier, Catilyn, and..someone with blue hair? "Who is that?" "That's my little sister, Powder. You remember me talking about her right?" you did, Vi talked about her a lot. Though clearly she wasn't eleven anymore. "I do. You found her?" you asked, giving a small smile and wave towards Powder. She returned the gesture, moving to hold her elbows. "Yeah, that was a few years ago" Powder responded rocking slightly on her heels. "Vi told me a lot about you on the boat ride over. I have a lot to catch you up on." "We both do." Vi added on.

Caitlyn cleared her throat to gain everyone's attention before turning to you. "I wanted to apologize for taking Vi away from you. She had important information about something stolen from Piltover. I did try to get you both out, but-" "Caitlyn, right? As long as you didn't kiss Violet I'll say it's fine." that made her laugh a little, shaking her head. "I promise you I didn't. I wanted to say that both of you no longer have a criminal record, it has been wiped clean. And I wanted to give you this," Catilyn handed over a large pouch filled with money. You carefully took it, examining the pouch. It was a considerable sum, likely enough to rent an apartment in Piltover for a few months.

"Please take that as part of my apology. It should help the three of you find a good place to stay and keep food on the table. Whether you want to go back to the Undercity or move on to Piltover." "Thank you." You handed the pouch over to Vi who tucked the pouch into one of the pockets on her jacket. "Come on bun, we're going to find a place for the three of us. No one," she looked between you and Powder "is getting left behind ever again. Come on" she grabbed your hand and Powder's, walking towards the elevator. You followed along, pulling your hand away at the last second.

"Vi?" "Yes?" Vi responded, nervous for what may come next. "I love you." You said, pulling her in for a short, sweet kiss. Vi was quick to return it, pulling you onto the elevator where Powder was waiting.

"I love you too. Now let's go home"

#arcane #vi arcane #vi x fem reader #fem reader

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ikaroux · 2 years

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Hii could I request a soft som kazuha x vampire reader nsfw fanfic? you can imagine a story :)) but blood sucking must be in it hehe. maybe with more rounds and different positions?

Synopsis: Kazuha is a vampire, a bloodsucking monster. Some might say he was just a thirsty beast, a murderous and hungry creature. But you knew he was different from what people thought. He was so gentle and loving with you, and every time he sunk his fangs into your skin, you could feel all the love he had for you.

Style: Female reader, vampire, sweet, romantic, passionate, bloodsucking.

Alert: NSFW (18+) I remind minors to avoid reading this kind of content.

Characters: Kazuha

Note: I love vampires, they are my favorite creatures along with elves 🥰.

Sorry for all the time it took to write this fic. I also wanted to let you know that I was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis, hence my absences, fatigue and low morale. I had this unpleasant feeling of having a sword of Damocles hanging over my head, until my best friend, who also has this disease, reassured me about the treatments available today. It's not something I'm trying to hide, I just have to learn to live with it… I can't wait to go on vacation and go to our family home in Portugal! I will finally have time for myself, for writing, for resting and for following all my other passions.

Vampires are creatures of terror. They inspire fear and dread in mortals, forcing these beings to live in the shadows of the night.

There were many legends about vampires, some describing them as vile and hideous creatures, armed with sharp fangs and claws. Other stories told of their lifestyle, their aversion to daylight or holy water. But perhaps the most common detail was the devouring hunger that compelled them to attack humans, hungry for their blood. Of course, there was some truth in all these legends, and Kazuha had learned this the hard way.

He had been born a mortal before being transformed into a vampire. The thirst he had felt in the first months was a terrible and cruel thing. It tortured those who, like him, had been transformed into creatures of the night. For a long time Kazuha refused to drink the blood of a human, finding the act beastly and foul. But when the pain in his stomach became unbearable, he had to attack a mortal for the first time, almost draining him dry before regaining his senses…

Kazuha regretted it, and will regret it forever. The images of the man he had attacked remained engraved in his memory. The livid face, the cold skin, the eyes empty of all life. Yes, Kazuha was a bloodthirsty monster, and because the memories of his actions haunted him, he swore never to attack a human again, preferring to hunt wild animals for food.

Despite what the legends say, vampires were not afraid of sunlight. They did prefer the soft glow of the moon, but they were able to live in the open among humans. It was true that humans were more likely to come across a vampire at night, but Kazuha preferred long walks under the reassuring warmth of the sun, reminding him of his humanity, his past memories.

For a long time, he traveled alone, avoiding humans for fear of hurting them. Until he met you…

You were strange, atypical. You weren't afraid of him, even though he was a monster. How could you be afraid of him? He was so gentle and kind to you, worrying about every wound or tear you shed. The day you met him, some treasure seekers attacked you, stabbing your flesh. Kazuha, who smelled blood, came to your rescue, appearing from nowhere and sweeping away your attackers with his sword with inhuman speed. Strapped to his sling, his anemic vision seemed to glow as he sent his enemies flying through the air. As soon as he was sure there was no more threat around you, he came to your side to examine your wounds and bandage you. You didn't immediately understand the reason for his discomfort when he saw how much blood you were losing. Until you saw his fangs…

"Are you… a vampire?" -Kazuha shuddered before pulling away from you quickly. Vampires were often abused, even killed by humans, and the man in front of you was no exception. "No! I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you. Thank you for saving me. Without you, I might have died." - The gentleness in your voice seemed to calm him down a bit.

"It… is nothing. If you don't need me anymore I…"

"What is your name?" - The young man blinked several times, surprised that you wanted to continue a conversation with him, before answering you.

"Kaedehara Kazuha."

"Kazuha…" - You muttered to yourself, enjoying the sound of his name. Looking at him more closely, your savior looked pale and hungry, but he didn't seem to show any signs of aggression towards you. -Kazuha… How long has it been since you ate?" - He froze upon hearing your question. - "You seem to be hungry. Would you like to… drink my blood…?"

"No, I… I don't drink human blood." - Shocked, your eyes widened. How could a vampire stay sane without feeding?

"I insist. You saved my life. I see no harm in offering you some of me in return for that grace." - His pupils dilated as he looked at your bandaged arm. Kazuha was obviously fighting his instincts, his fangs protruding from his lips, tearing painfully at his skin. Since he seemed to be hesitating, you decided to make it easier for him by spreading the collar of your tunic with your finger, offering him your neck on a silver platter. His last barriers broke down and hunger prevented him from thinking any further. Kazuha threw himself on you, desperate, hungry. The pain you felt at the time was unbearable, but it was quickly replaced by an unimaginable pleasure. The heat that spread from his fangs to the inside of your entrails made you gently plunge into a sweet euphoria. Unconsciously, your hands came to plant themselves in the hair of this man whom you had just met, attracting him closer to you. His eyes widened under your touch, tears welling up in his eyes as he became aware of the act he was committing. The softness of your embrace made him feel like he belonged to this world at last, like he existed again… He could feel your heartbeat decreasing as he sucked the very essence of your life out of you. Kazuha hated himself for this, and yet he couldn't help but think that your blood tasted the most exquisite he had ever tasted. Your life force was slowly leaving you, weakening as you watched. The sucking noises the vampire was making were barely keeping you in reality. Suddenly you felt his arms wrap around your waist and his fangs pull away from your skin. At the end of your strength, you collapsed into his arms. Kazuha gently caressed your face, whispering an apology, before lifting you off the ground, taking you to a place where you could fully rest.

Since that day, you never left each other. Your relationship had greatly evolved, from a simple friendship to a lover. Your love for him was obvious, and even though he found it hard to accept, there was no doubt that his feelings for you were mutual. Kazuha cherished you, covered you with sweet and poetic words. You were a source of light for him, beautiful and warm. It was difficult to understand how different the love feelings of a vampire were from those of a human. Everything was more intense, more passionate and often more… carnal.

Painful moans slowly woke you from your sleep. Lying on the grass, your arm came to rest on your forehead as your eyes opened with difficulty. Exhausted from your long journey, you had quickly fallen asleep in the makeshift tent that Kazuha had set up to spend the night. To your left lay the vampire who had ravished your heart. But very quickly you noticed that something was wrong… the pained expression on his face and his sweaty forehead quickly told you. You had become accustomed to Kazuha having nightmares, the images of his past coming back to haunt him every time he closed his eyes. Carefully, you straightened up so that you could delicately caress his forehead. He was cold, more than usual… It was a natural thing for vampires. Yet, you still had this apprehension, this little thought inside you that made you fear the worst. You had the impression that every time Kazuha closed his eyes, he would dive deep into the abyss and never come back. So, as gently as possible, you brushed your fingers against his cheek, his skin warming up to your touch. This was another peculiarity of vampires. When one of them fell in love, their skin would warm at the touch of their loved one, making them feel alive again. Kazuha had often told you that since you met him, he had this strange feeling that his heart was beating again in his chest. Kazuha's eyelids trembled before slowly opening. His gaze immediately fell on you as he raised his bandaged hand to wrap his fingers in your hair. He closed his eyes for a moment, savoring the warmth of your hand on his cheek, before opening them again to look at you. Seeing your worried expression, a soft smile appeared on his face.

"Did I wake you up again my dove? - He murmured in a tired voice. And, rather than answering him with words, you smiled at him, diving gently into his arms to link your lips with his. Finally… At last he had that comforting warmth again. Kazuha wrapped his arms around your waist, pulling you closer to him. It was almost painful, this vampiric force he was unconsciously using on you, but you didn't care. His fingers slid into your scalp and you did the same. His hair was loose and it always made him look different, more mature, even… sexy. You felt his fingers tangle in your hair to gently pull you away from his lips so he could kiss your neck. His tongue licked your skin, making you feverish in his embrace. You knew what was coming, and to make it easier for him to get to your neck, you tilted your head away from his lips. Kazuha gasped against you. His hand, once busy massaging your back, came to join your shoulder in order to remove the fabric that was blocking him. He kissed your shoulder one last time before opening his mouth wide, showing his fangs, which immediately planted themselves in your skin. A cry of pleasure escaped you. The heat from his fangs spread throughout your soul. It was so good, so intense, you didn't really understand how you were able to feel pleasure in an act that was supposed to be painful and scary. As the excitement mounted, your body slowly began to rub against that of your lover whose hand, which was once in your hair, came to rest on your pelvis in order to press you against his growing bulge… Your blood always made him lose his mind, awakening his primal desires for you with such violence that he was sometimes ashamed to claim you as a mere wild beast. He loved you, respected you more than anyone else, yet every time he drank from you, the only thing he could think about was the taste of your blood, the moans of pleasure it gave you and the growing hardness of his member. The idea of making you his own clouded his judgment… He needed to be inside you. Kazuha grunted softly against you as he suddenly flipped you onto your back.

He towered over you with his whole body, holding you tightly in his arms, his fangs piercing a new mark on your neck. You could hear the sucking sounds he was making against you as his embrace tightened around your waist. The heat he was causing in you was making you dizzy. To keep you in reality, you clung to his kimono, sighing with pleasure as you felt Kazuha sucking your blood. The moans that vibrated in his throat made your knees tremble. Slowly, he moved his fangs away from you and replaced them with the moisture of his tongue, licking the droplets of blood that escaped from the bite. He knew your limits and he knew when he had to stop to keep you from getting sick.

As soon as Kazuha had finished healing you with his saliva, his lips settled on your neck, kissing you tenderly. Soon, his kisses reached your jaw, then your cheekbones, your nose and finally your lips that he loved to kiss so much. Taking advantage of the diversion that his lips had on you, his fingers sought languorously the entrance of your desires, gently spreading the clothes that blocked his way. You let out a moan of his name when he found your clit swollen with desire. You were already soaked, which allowed Kazuha to easily slip two fingers inside you, immediately starting a slow back and forth motion. He finally left your lips. His eyes, whose pupils were dilated by desire, examined your trembling body. Abruptly, his free hand went up your tank top until discovering your naked chest. The excitement had already made the tips of your breasts hard, demanding your lover's attention. Seeing that Kazuha didn't start any movement, his eyes remaining focused on your chest which was rising rapidly with your breathing, you raised your arms to grab his face gently, caressing his cheekbones with your thumb. Kazuha closed his eyes briefly, stopping the movements of his fingers still inside you. You were always gentle with him, and it made him fall more and more in love with you. Gradually, you brought his face closer to your chest, giving him some reassuring caresses to encourage him to continue. Kazuha sucked in a big bowl of air before planting his fangs in your left breast, near the heart that you had offered him with confidence. As soon as the first drops of blood touched his tongue, his hand movements started again, his fingers sinking into you with more speed and strength. You could quickly feel the heat rising in you, your walls tightening around his fingers following your orgasm. Kazuha slowly pulled away from you, looking lovingly at your trembling body. His hand caressed your cheek, pushing away the tears of pleasure that had been flowing from your eyes.

"I'm sorry…" - He murmured, his passionate gaze locked in yours.

"Sorry? Why are you apologizing?" - Kazuha sighed before lying down on top of you to hide his reddened face against your shoulder.

"I'm acting like a beast in heat…" - You blinked a few times before chuckling softly. You immediately noticed the intense redness that had settled on his ears. So, to reassure him, you wrapped your arms around his back, kissing his burning ear tenderly.

"I love you Kazuha. You are not an animal or a monster. You are the man I choose to love…" - You felt his lips kiss your neck when he heard your words. Straightening up on his forearms, Kazuha stared straight into your eyes with a sweet-happy expression.

"I love you y/n…"

Before you could even answer, Kazuha took care of your clothes that were too bulky for his taste. Quickly, they ended up scattered all over the tent, very quickly joined by his own. His hands grabbed your hips, bringing you closer to his with need. Kazuha's gaze dropped to yours as he positioned his hardened member in front of your entrance. You sighed with pleasure as he began to penetrate you with annoying slowness. You could hear him hissing near your ear as his hands sought contact with yours. Your name escaped his lips, again and again as he continued to thrust into you. Fingers intertwined together, Kazuha put a slight pressure on it when he finally reached the bottom.

"y/n… Aaah, I love you so much my dove. You are so sweet, so warm…. It's so good to be inside you." - Kazuha shivered as he felt your walls tighten around him. His hips began to move on their own, slowly at first, languidly. You chanted his name in his ear, your hands clutching desperately at his beautiful platinum hair. He kept you close to him, his arms holding you caged on either side of your face while his face remained buried in the crook of your neck, his lips kissing the healed bite marks he left behind. Your hands were placed on his back, feeling every movement of his muscles, every curve of his body. Kazuha was always so gentle with you, whispering words of love to you as his hips rocked against you. His fangs would sometimes caress your neck, his tongue coming out of his mouth to trace the path your veins followed.

"Kazuha… Bite me." - Without thinking twice, Kazuha sank his fangs into your neck again, just above a bite he had given you earlier. As he gently sucked your blood, the rhythm of his hips suddenly changed, becoming much more abrupt and savage than before. You felt dizzy from all the pleasure he was giving you, but also from the loss of blood you were offering to your beloved vampire. Kazuha knew when to stop, so he stopped feeding on your vitality to concentrate on moving his hips, straightening his arms for a better angle of penetration. Your legs wrapped around his waist as your hands clutched at his back, soaking up some scratches on his shoulder blades. The sound of skin slapping was easily covered by the moans of pleasure that you and Kazuha shared together. You could feel the longed-for knot forming in your lower abdomen. Your lover continued to abuse your G-spot with ever more rough and fiery hip thrusts.

"Kazuha! Kazu I…!" - And while you were trying to warn him of your impending orgasm, it was suddenly triggered. The violence and pleasure of it made you shout his name. Kazuha swore, biting his lips as he continued to pound you carelessly, seeking his own end. He didn't have to wait long before he let his own pleasure paint your walls white. The vampire dropped on top of you, his back drenched in sweat and his breath short. While you were still recovering from your emotions, you gently stroked his back. Kazuha seemed inert, lying on top of you, his face pressed into the crook of your shoulder, but you could tell by his gentle smile that he was simply enjoying the moment. You then kissed the tip of his nose, forcing him to open his eyes.

"I love you Kazu." - Your eyes full of love gazed at his blushing face with tenderness. Your fingers moved towards his face, caressing his skin with your fingertips, before placing behind his ear the few strands that covered his face. Kazuha gently grabbed your wrist, kissing each of your fingers tenderly. He slowly straightened up on his elbows, placing a few soft kisses on your lips before plunging his passionate gaze into yours.

"I love you too, my sweet y/n."

#genshin impact smut #genshin impact #genshin #genshin impact x reader #genshin x reader #genshin imagines #genshin x you #kaedehara kazuha #kazuha #genshin kazuha #kazuha smut #kazuha fluff #kazuha genshin #kazuha x reader

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fool-inthe-rain · 1 year

Text

Lonesome and Mad

Sirius Black x Reader

wc: 3700~

Content: Angst. Almost a happy ending (Sorry). Time Jump. Use of she/her pronouns. Use of Y/n. Death, imprisonment, the usual angst yall get from me. Pretend Flitwick retired early or something and doesn’t teach charms while Harry is at Hogwarts. Mentions of depression and anxiety.

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The days following his arrest were the most gut-wrenching days she had ever experienced. Having to go through thousands of emotions at once. Trying to wrap her head around the fact that James and Lily were dead, slain by the Dark Lord. Trying to understand how her sweet Sirius could have killed not only Peter but twelve muggles as well.

1st November, 1981

She had been lying on the floor for about twelve hours now. Her entire body hurt, but nothing was more painful than the beating of her heart. Her tears had stopped a while ago, not from a lack of sadness. She had cried every tear she possibly could and now there was only numbness. Flashes of the small Halloween get-together they all had flashed through her brain. She was desperately trying to hold onto the final memories of her best friends.

Lily, her best friend since first year, had dressed up as a storybook witch, big hat, fake wart, and all. James had dressed as Merlin, he had even gotten a fake beard to complete the look. They had Harry dressed in a baby-sized Gryffindor robe and James had found a small stick in the yard for Harry to use as a wand.

The images of her friends muddied her brain. How they could be so happy and celebratory, surrounded by friends, and then gone forever not an hour after the party was over haunted her. She tried to think of everything that had happened, she was desperate to know if there was some way this could have been prevented. The only thing that was unusual was that Peter only stayed for about thirty minutes before leaving. Sure he seemed jumpy and anxious, but that's how he was for as long as she had known him. Though it was hard to think about, she knew there was no way to save Lily and James. Voldemort wanted them dead, and he got exactly what he wanted.

But Sirius? Was he a traitor all this time? Believing he had committed a mass murder was the most difficult part to comprehend. He was an integral part of the Order. He was brave and loyal, he would do anything for James. He was so proud to be Harry's Godfather. Every time he said he loved her, was he lying? Her entire world was destroyed and the only thing she could get herself to do was lay on the freezing cold floor.

Snape was the one who found her on the floor. They were never the best of friends, but she knew how much he loved Lily so she tended to take it easy on him at school. He had apparated to her home shortly after he had seen Lily and James dead, he knew if anyone was taking this exceptionally hard, it would be her. He walked into the small house, calling her name only to get no answer. He finally stumbled upon her laying on the kitchen floor, her back turned to him.

“Y/n?” Snape kneeled down, putting a gentle hand to her waist.

“I can’t get up.” She whispered. She knew it was Snape, afterall the only other person who had such heavy footsteps was now rotting in Azkaban.

“Alright.” This was the one time she was happy Snape wasn’t a talker.

“Would you like me to get Lupin?” He asked after a few moments of silence.

“Yes, please.” At the mention of his name she began to cry once more. She hadn’t even thought about the fact that her best friend was going through exactly the same thing as her.

Without another word, Snape had stood and apparated away. She stayed on the floor. Paralyzed by her grief, she knew if she tried to stand the effort would be futile. Another loud apparition induced crack rang through the house signaling that Snape had made his way back, hopefully with Remus. Even though she knew Remus would need just as much comfort as her, she still couldn’t find it in her to get up. She didn’t have to however because before she knew it, Remus was laying across from her on the ground. His eyes were bright red and puffy, and he had a sickeningly sad look on his face.

Snape left as soon as he saw Remus get down on the floor with her. Neither spoke for about thirty minutes, they instead decided to just be grateful for eachothers company.

“Moony?” Y/n was the first to speak, though he almost didn’t hear her hushed tone through the wall of thoughts coursing through his mind.

“Hmm?” He didn’t trust himself to speak without crying.

“Will it hurt this bad forever?” Silent tears leaked from her eyes.

Remus lifted a hand, placing it on her wet cheek.

“I think so dove.” He gave her a sad smile.

It would hurt for eternity and thereafter.

November 1991

Things had changed. Y/n took up a post at Hogwarts as the Professor for Charms after Flitwick had left, and Snape had invented a life changing potion for Remus’s furry little problem. Y/n and Remus moved into neighboring homes so as not to be alone in their mourning. Life was better, well, for the most part.

What hadn’t changed was the constant pain just from being alive. The beating of her own heart served as a constant reminder that two of the people she loved most were dead and gone. Rage still churned in her blood every time she thought about Sirius and what he did. Many things were different, but these things were permanent.

Harry was now eleven and attending Hogwarts. When the sorting had yelled Gryffindor after sitting atop his head, y/n had to excuse herself from the professors table so her new colleagues wouldn’t think she was weak for crying at a silly hat saying a silly word. She had spotted him as soon as he walked into the Great Hall. How could she not? He looked exactly like James, silver framed, round glasses, dark messy hair. He was the spitting image of his father.

Though they were two months into the first term, y/n still had yet to speak to Harry, to let him know who she was. He was in her class, and every time she thought of asking him to stay back after said class, he did something so reminiscent of his parents and she would become too overwhelmed with grief to say something.

Harry ended up finding out before she had the chance to speak up. Her own fault, she told herself, she was too cowardly to bring up the past, to relive that horrible day. She wasn’t exactly sure how he found out, but when he came storming into her office with as determined a look an eleven year old can have, she knew exactly what was going on.

“You knew my parents, didn’t you?” He was upset, that was clear as day.

“I did.”

“Why didn’t you tell me! Two months you’ve been my teacher and you haven’t said anything!” Harry was yelling, his fists balled at his sides.

“Sit, Harry. Please.” She gestured to the chair sitting on the opposite side of her desk.

Harry did as he was asked, still fuming however.

“What do you want to know?” The question was so simple and calmly spoken, something he wasn’t expecting after the outburst he had.

“Everything.”

Y/n let out a small laugh,

“That could take a while, and I promise you will in time know everything, but how about for now we start with just a little less than everything?”

“Okay,” He sat and thought for a moment, sussing out what would be best to ask first. “How did you know them? How did you meet?”

“Well, I was in Gryffindor, just as your mother and father were. I met Lily the very second I stepped foot onto the Hogwarts express for the first time. She was bumbling down the corridor like a lost puppy and she bowled right into me. As soon as she calmed whatever frenzy she was in to help me up, I knew she would be my first friend. My forever friend.” Y/n smiled at the memory, wishing she could go back in time.

Harry was also smiling. He was picturing his mother on the train, bright red hair pluming around her as she ran down the length of the train.

“And my father?” He looked hopeful, happy to have another piece of his parents. Even if it was a memory he wasn’t a part of.

“Well, I met James on the first day of classes. He already had quite the group of friends, and Lily and I decided very quickly that we wanted nothing to do with him. You can see how that ended up.” She smiled at the young boy. “It took the both of us a while to warm up to each other, but by fourth year James was one of my most loyal friends.”

Y/n let Harry sit with the new information for a few moments.

“One more question,” She checked her watch, “then I believe you have to be getting to your next class.”

“Why didn’t you tell me sooner?” Harry wasn’t angry this time, curious was the right word now.

It was her turn to think now, it was a loaded question, though he didn’t know that.

“Well, in complete honesty Harry, it was too painful to think about. You are more like them than you will ever know, and I had no clue how to approach the subject with you. I didn’t want to hurt you. I didn’t want to make you think of the things you have lost. I just wanted you to live as a normal student for as long as possible.”

“I’m happy I found out. If it’s not too much trouble, could I come here when I want to learn about them?” He asked sheepishly.

Her heart swelled at the thought of having a relationship with Harry, to finally be the Aunt she had only gotten to be for a little over a year.

“Of course. Anytime you need to talk about anything, you know where to find me.”

Harry stood from the chair, giving her a wide smile.

“I-I have to get to transfiguration, but thank you. I enjoyed hearing about them.”

“Go on, I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Like a bolt he shot out of her small office so he wouldn’t be late. They both kept their promises that year, and the years following. Harry got to learn about his parents, and y/n got to reminisce on the best years of her life.

September 1993

Sirius escaped Azkaban. Simple as that, though the situation was anything but simple. Harry had been told why this was such a big deal a few days prior, the work of Arthur Weasley. Y/n had been invited by Molly Weasley to join them and Harry before the term started, of course she accepted. She had become someone Harry was comfortable with, and there weren’t many people like that in his life, so anytime she could be there for him she would be. The two had grown quite close over his first three years at Hogwarts, Harry had confided in her, he kept her thoroughly updated on his life and though she was his professor he saw her as the person she was supposed to be. His Aunt.

The two had a lengthy conversation about Sirius, and though it hurt her entire being to talk about him, she answered all of his questions. What she didn’t tell him was that Sirius was his Godfather, nor did she tell him that Moony, or now, Professor Lupin, would be joining them at Hogwarts this year. She figured that was a conversation Remus had to initiate with him, when he felt ready.

January 1994

Remus Lupin was settling in nicely at Hogwarts. He told Harry that he also knew his parents, and while Remus was a bit more hesitant to get close to the boy, they still had a friendly relationship. The year had gone fairly smooth for all parties, besides the elephant in every room. That elephant being Sirius Black of course. Remus and y/n were on high alert everyday, trying to keep Harry safe was a difficult task, especially when the boy had a new found tendency to sneak out of the castle. The night Remus found him in the dark hallway with Snape chastising him, it took him half a second to recognize the old piece of parchment in Severeus’s hand. The Marauder’s Map. Where Harry had gotten it he had no clue, but when the pair had gotten back to his office and Harry had told him he saaw Peter’s name on the map, everything came crashing down around him.

Remus waited for five minutes after Harry had left his office before racing down the faculty hallway, loudly banging on y/n’s door. At that moment he had no care in the world for the sleeping portraits or professors. By the grace of Godric she was still awake, and she quickly ushered him inside to silence the horrible noise of his loud knocking.

“Moony? What is it? What happened?” She placed both hands on his shoulders which were heaving from the sprinting he had just done.

He pulled the map from his back pocket, flicking it in the air for her to see.

“Is that what I think it is? Where the hell did you find that after all these years?”

“Harry had it, don’t ask me how because I don’t know, but right now I need you to be quiet and listen to what I’m about to say.” His eyes were wild.

“Okay.” She nodded, nervous for whatever would pass through his lips next.

“Harry said he saw a name on the map, a name we all thought no longer existed.”

“Remus, you're scaring me.” She was incredibly confused and scared for her friend who had obviously just had some sort of epiphany.

“Peter Pettigrew.”

“What the fuck are you talking about? Are you sick? He’s dead Remus, he has been dead for twelve years!” She was angry now, she didn’t know if this was some cruel joke or what, but she wasn’t having it.

“I didn’t see it! Harry did, and you know that boy doesn’t lie, and neither does this map!” He hit the front of his map against his free hand. He turned away from her, giving himself a minute to calm down.

Y/n paced the room, trying to unscramble this new riddle in her life.

“Does this mean, does this mean he didn’t do it? Is Sirius innocent?” Her breath was quickening, her anxiety was spiking, and that cruel night began replaying in her head, over and over, as if it were there to torture her.

“That is exactly what that means! Smart girl, I knew you would figure it out! Now we need a plan, how do we get to Sirius before anyone else?” He turned back to face her, his eyes met not the steeled thirty-two year old woman, but the scared twenty year old who had just learned her best friends were dead.

Remus slowly made his way to her, helping her sit on the edge of her bed.

“Deep breaths dove, it’s okay. You’re not there anymore, you're in Hogwarts in your room. Everything will be okay.”

His strong hand running along her back and the reassuring words did nothing to quell her racing mind. His voice went in one ear and out the other as she thought about the exact moment the news reached her, how she fell to the ground and didn’t get up for over twelve hours. Suddenly her heartbeat was the loudest thing in the room.

“I-I can’t breathe. I can’t breathe Moony, please make it stop!” She slumped into his side, clinging onto his shirt for dear life.

“Hey, I’m here, I’m here. Everything is okay y/n, I need you to take some deep breaths for me.” He ran his hand along her hair, praying to Godric that he was helping and not making things worse.

When he finally felt her breaths slowing down, he gave a silent thank you to the sky. Minutes passed without a single utterance.

“Sirius is innocent.” She choked out after a while.

“He is.” Remus agreed.

The air was heavy, and their minds were racing, but Sirius was innocent, that was all that mattered.

May 1994

Hagrid was inconsolable, Buckbeak was dead and y/n had been in the hut with him for over an hour, listening to him tell all his best stories about the sweet creature. She felt for Hagrid, and she truly enjoyed hearing the stories, it gave her something meaningful to do with her night, and she was more than happy to be a shoulder to cry on for him. Hagrid’s latest story was interrupted by Remus unabashedly opening the door to the hut.

“Remus? What are you doing here?” Y/n stood up quickly, concern painting her face.

“Hagrid, I am very, very, sorry about Buckbeak but I need Professor y/l/n to come with me right now.” He was out of breath, but he got his point across without too much struggle.

“Oh go on, I've had yer ear for long enough.” Hagrid waved his hand signaling she could go. “I’ll be ok.”

That was all Remus needed to hear and within seconds he had grabbed her hand and pulled her from the small house, quickly running in the opposite direction.

“Sirius is back, we need to get to the womping willow now.”

They both quickened their pace, not knowing what was to come. The willow was angry, violently thrashing her branches into the earth. Fortunately the pair had experience dealing with the outbursts of the tree and they made it underneath with only a few scratches. Travelling through the tight tunnel under the tree they made it to the shrieking shack just in time to see Harry wrestling with Sirius.

The next fifteen minutes were a blur, Snape had somehow made his way there and had subsequently been thrown into a bed by a spell cast by Harry, Scabbers was revealed to be Peter, Harry was thrown for a loop multiple times, demanding answers and explanations, which he got. Sirius and Remus fell into stride after the yelling had subsided, after Harry learned the truth. It was as if the past twelve years had never happened, and yet he had yet to see her. She knew Remus had it handled, she knew this was his way of getting consolation, helping Sirius. She stayed back in the hallway, watching from afar. She would be lying if she said the only reason she did that was to not get in the way, as soon as she laid eyes on his withering figure she was paralyzed the same way as the night when her world was torn to shreds.

The Aftermath

Peter was back to being human, Remus, Harry and Sirius were all talking in a corner, Hermione was tending to Ron’s wound, and yet there she still stood in the shadows, not knowing how to make herself known to her old love. It wasn’t until her name came up in the conversation that she was finally broken out of her trance. She could hear Sirius asking about her, and Remus turned noticing for the first time that she had not followed him into the room.

“Harry give us a moment will you?” Remus asked, “Looks like your friends could use some help.”

Harry agreed and as he walked away Remus clapped a hand onto Sirius’s back.

“Follow me will you?” He looked to his oldest friend.

Remus led him out into the small hallway, and his eyes met hers for the first time in twelve years. Her chest was heaving from adrenaline and anticipation, her lip was bloody from the force of her teeth chewing on it for ten minutes straight, her brain had no clue what to do. Her legs carried her to him, her hands touched his face, and her lips parted.

“Twelve years, twelve bloody years and you were all I could think about.” Her voice was a whisper, so quiet and unsure of itself that she didn’t even know if she said the words out loud.

“You didn’t hate me?” He was timid.

“I hated you. I hated you for so many years, but no matter how much I hated you, I still found myself loving you.” A few tears lept from her eyes at the feeling of her skin on his, at the sound of his beautiful voice.

She leaned in, kissing him in a way that made him believe they had never been apart. Their lips clashed and his hands gripped her waist so tight that even if her knees gave out she would still be standing.

Her first love and her first hearbreak all wrapped in one.

The Inbetween

It was difficult to say the least. They had to figure out how to be around each other again, but no matter how hard it was the love they had for each other made everything seem so easy.

Sirius’s name was cleared after many months of secret meetings in secret locations which had not seen a human for centuries. They returned to 12 Grimmauld, fell asleep together every night, and woke up with their limbs entwined every morning. She told him stories about Harry, she detailed the past twelve years, and he hung onto every word. He cried into her chest in the middle of the night, nightmares plagued his mind, but now he had comfort, something he hadn't felt in over a decade. They both chased happiness and finally caught it after those excruciating years. No higher being or evil creature would separate the two ever again. Their bliss was their defense, but they were blindsided by another war, more chaos, and history would repeat itself.

Voldemort had returned.

18th June, 1996

The cycle continues. Happiness, tragedy, mourning, numbness. One simple spell was all it took to knock him into the hands of death. One simple spell was all it took for him to be ripped away from her once more. This time for good.

This time for eternity.

#thoughts from my grave #harry potter imagine #harry potter #harry potter angst #sirius black #sirius black angst #sirius black x reader #sirius orion black #sirius black imagine #sirius black x y/n #sirius black x you #marauders era #the marauders #sirius x reader #remus lupin

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the-stove-is-divorced · 2 months

Note

What is your favorite scene in Invincible?

Personally, I was extremely hooked by the eighth episode in season one. GOOD LORD I rewatched Mark and Nolan's fight at least 50 times. I love how Mark's desperate denial, anger and slow acceptance of how things actually were is shown on his face the whole time. Everything happens so fast he doesn't have a choice but to react in the moment and process later. The people in the subway die beacuse he wasn't strong enough. His father started this whole mess because he was getting antsy about Mark not getting powers and his mission breathing down his neck. Maybe if Mark had developed his powers faster, he would have been stronger and able to stop his dad. If he had taken his training more seriously, he would have been more capable and less people would have died.

Was his whole life a lie, the years spent admiring his father worthless? The now downturned family pictures a constant reminder of what his life should have continued to be like. How many nights does Mark spend awake thinking about this, replaying his greatest, most painful loss over and over again?

Shower thoughts. They come and haunt me for the rest of the day. Week. Month. Year. Send help-

OH MY?? WHAT A LOVELY QUESTION! ⸜(*ˊᗜˋ*)⸝

But funny enough, that scene is actually one of my favorites! I can confirm it will never stop haunting you. You will be consumed by the pure what the fuckery of that scene and all it's delightful implications forevermore. Like oh my goodness, it is such a good fight scene! It's incredibly well animated, first of all. Like hello, give those animators a raise and a paid vacation. But then complimenting the animation is the VA's and writing! Also deserving of a raise and vacation. They absolutely cooked here, it's so scrumptious it's actually sickening.

There's such a masterful display of dread and horror building as Mark's own world, how he views his father, how he thinks about heroism, his power, his blood, is being completely will forever be changed! The way he views his own father will forever tainted by Nolan's completely willing displays of such egregious cruelties.

Literally everything you said above is something I'm sure Mark thinks about constantly, and how could you not? It's horrific to witness in general, but so insidiously personal as his own father slaughters innocents while insisting it's his fault. The massive amount of guilt that falls upon Mark's shoulders has got to be insane. And he almost died himself! By his father's hand! When the show switched between Nolan beating him bloody to Nolan proudly holding a young Mark up after a home run? Bro, I was sobbing.

And YES! How do you comprehend that the same father who said he loved you, that loved a planet enough to protect it, who saved countless of lives, who was proud of you, raised you, helped you, is also the same person who slaughtered thousands and blamed you for not joining him in planetary colonization, killing with his bare hands and insist it's Mark's fault, all while Mark is struggling between saving the victims, fighting Nolan, and trying to survive Nolan, himself. INSANE!

What makes it so much worse is just before this Mark kinda got what he wanted, if he was fighting side by side with his Dad! He still was feeling hopeless about how impactful he's supposed to be, but in that moment he was helping his Dad fight some beast together. And then it completely unravels.

And speaking of unraveling, the s2 scene as Mark is held by the neck from Nolan, whose screaming at him why he cares about an entirely different civilization being destroyed after just showing Mark he meant every single word about replacing his family entirely? I was gagged. I was screaming at the TV. I was sobbing on the floor. That lives in my head rent free every single second of my life. There is no escape. It felt like looking at a healing, deadly wound that just barely cost a victim's life, one that still aches on bad days and could make one wince if straining, and then tearing it open with a rusty knife. Oh my god. Nolan confirming everything he told Mark in s1 and then holding him by the fucking neck, and screaming at him?

Tysm for the asks!! ( ´ ▽ ` ).｡ｏ♡ I fucking love this show so much. Mark my beloved and Nolan my beloathed.

#invincible #asks #I LOVE THIS SHOW SMMMM #THAT FIGHT SCENE FUCKS ME UP TO THIS DAY!! happy to know I'm not alone oh my goodness #s2 tho? knife to my healing one #survived bleeding out only to be caught quivering on the floor in anguish #I LOVE IT

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delilahirina · 11 months

Text

Once upon a time there was a gloomy midnight, cursed, plunged in the deepest purples and reds, while I was looking, on my bed with a sheet printed with basketballs, weak and tired, many photo albums, full of memories, while my eyes had not slept for a long time and my dark circles had become painful...

As I was nodding off, almost taking a nap, something I had sworn I would never do again, suddenly there was a tapping sound, as of someone knocking softly, banging on my front door.

"At this hour?", I muttered, "No, it can't be, there can't be anyone at this hour, it must be just the wind...just that and nothing more".

I distinctly remember it was in the bleak December; and every dying ember left its ghost on the ground.

I anxiously looked forward to the next day, and the day after that, until the end of my days. From my albums came the relief of grief, grief for my rare and radiant friend, named Sunny, once a whole person, full of life, strange but overwhelmingly happy...now, in the ground, under a coffin, now nameless here and forever more.

And the silky, sad, uncertain whisper of each orange patterned curtain of those stupid basketballs...I shivered, filled me with fantastic terrors never felt before; so now, to calm my heartbeat, I kept repeating....

Suddenly my soul grew stronger; then I hesitated no longer, and carefully made my way down my darkened house, avoiding bumping into the stair railing, and grabbed the knob of my front door, and peeked out part of my face, feeling the cold night air crashing against my features.

"'It's Hero, my parents, they want to come in the house. Yes, that must be it. It's that and nothing more."

"Hero?" I said, "It's 3 o'clock in the morning, Hero, why are you coming home at this hour?" here I opened the door wide... darkness and nothing more.

Deep in that darkness, looking out into the empty street, hearing the little creaks of the flow of electricity powering every house in this cursed town, I stood there wondering, fearing, doubting, imagining things no mortal dared to dream before, a ghost, a creature, anything inexplicable to the human; But nothing was happening, but the silence was unwavering, and the stillness gave no sign, and the only word I managed to utter from my mouth was the whispered word, "Sunshine?" This I whispered, and a cursed echo, a resonant, haunted echo from the darkness of the night, beyond the trees, murmured the word, "Sunshine!"... only this and nothing more.

I went back to my room, slamming my door shut, running, with beads of cold sweat running down my forehead, my soul on fire, feeling my body tensing and my breath quickening, and my eyes bloodshot as I locked my room, when, soon I heard again a knocking somewhat louder than before.

"Surely," I said, "surely it must be some drunk wanting to play a prank, surely it's some person, Kim, someone, wanting to punish me for not saving Sunny, probably it's nothing, yes, it must be that, just that and nothing more."

Here, I walked down towards the living room, my hands shaking, and flung open the door expecting some infamous, Mephistophile creature, when, with much flapping and effort, in came a majestic raven from the holy days of yore. A plumage black as night, and pupils as black as Sunny's. Not for a minute did he bow, not for a minute did he pause, but, with arrogance and elegance, interrupted in my home, ascending to my room, and finding himself in my room dimly lit by the night lamp I own, he perched on an old photograph with my group of friends, right next to my bed... he perched, sat down and did nothing more.

Then this ebony bird seduced my sad fancy to smile, by the grave and severe decorum of the countenance he wore, I could see him, I could see him.

"S-Sunny," I said, plunged into the deepest madness and delirium, "It's you! I-I knew you couldn't have died, I knew you would come back to me" I said in tears, almost sobbing at the sight of the raven's black eyes, as I tried to erase from my memory his crushed body and non-existent head on the hospital parking lot floor "Sunny! Say something, please, please, please say something, I need you, I don't know what to do, Basil was murdered and Aubrey hasn't left her house. Please, what can I do, say something." Forgetting that crows couldn't talk, I don't know what I expected, even if this crow was Sunny, he obviously couldn't answer me, when, unexpectedly, the crow uttered: "Nevermore".

I was amazed to hear the voice of this raven, it was identical to the voice of my beloved Sunny, and not only that, this ungainly bird spoke so clearly, the mere fact that it spoke was wonderful, however, its response held little meaning, little relevance in my eyes, for we cannot help but agree that no human being alive has ever been blessed to see a bird with the countenance of his beloved, in his own room, and have it answer him with a word such as "Nevermore".

And the raven, sitting placidly and solitary in the picture frame, said only that one word, as if his soul in that one word was poured out. Nothing more did he utter, not a feather did he flutter, nor did his beak gesticulate, nor did his eyes move....

Until I barely murmured "Sunny, you don't know how happy I am...thank you, thank you for coming back, promise me you'll never leave again, that you won't fly away again like my hopes." Then the bird declared, "Nevermore."

Startled by the answer so aptly delivered, I smiled, trying to make sense of the answer "Sunny" I said, "You are so sweet, so beautiful, in spite of all that happened you came back, but please, say something else" then I pondered. He jumped off the roof, wanting to end his life, and whatever was tormenting him would stop him at that moment, and so he can only exclaim the word "Nevermore".

But the raven kept seducing my sad fantasy to smile, to smile at its soothing presence, so similar to that of my beloved, and so, I stood on the edge of my bed, moving my head to one side like a curious labrador dog, looking at the beautiful bird and the open door to the darkness.

Then, letting myself sink into the soft mattress stamped by those damn basketballs, I started thinking.

I was thinking, thinking fiercely, thinking about what this ominous bird of yesteryear, possessed by my departed beloved, my gangly, ghastly, emaciated, ominous bird of yesteryear with the voice of my extinct sunbeam wanted to say as it squawked "Nevermore."

But the bird did not utter another word, the raven did not utter another sentence, and stood there, watching me, dimly illuminated by the orange lamp, a bird with the countenance of my beloved represented in that photograph on which I was sitting, ready to return to school after a hard summer, now unable to see a summer again, a bird whose dead eyes now slaughtered my heart. With this doubt, I stared at the bird, as I felt my head burn with a thousand doubts, observing the shadow the bird cast on the wooden floor of my home, a black that reminded me of a hole, a hole into which my beloved fell, and from which he may come out nevermore.

Then, it seemed to me, the air became thicker, perfumed with the pretty scent of tulips that my beloved was expelling as he walked, with a tired but beautiful face, and then, in desperation, I grabbed the face of the raven from its banks.

"Sunny", I cried, "Say something else, I will do anything, I will play with you, I will give you everything you ever wanted, we will go on adventures, everything will go back to normal, we will return to happiness, but please, say something else" And then the raven said a prayer word I feared: "Nevermore".

"Sunny!" said I, "I'll be good, but please tell me something! Where did you come from, where did you appear from, why did you do it, in heaven there is happiness and cherubs and angels?" And then the raven said: "Nevermore".

"Sunny!" said I, "Death was...immediate? Death is not so bad? Death made you happy? What's after death? Were you happy when you died?" and then the raven said words that devastated me: "Nevermore".

"Sunny" said I, plunged into the deepest despair, looking for some other question, something else that could answer me, when defeated, and knowing what I would probably answer again... "Will we ever be happy again? Will there be no more deaths? Is Aubrey going to live? Will Hero live? Will I live? Will we ever get over you leaving? ...Are you happy?" And then the raven answered, with what seemed more forcefulness, more mercilessness, but at the same time, analyzing his face, he looked sad, he looked resigned, he looked defeated, while he said his phrase: "Nevermore".

I fell resignedly to the floor, as my eyes, briefly glittering, plunged back into the deepest darkness, watching my shadow cast by the orange light of my room, mingled by the shadow of the raven, and the shadow of my beloved trapped in the bird, seemed to pierce my heart. And from the blended shadows, I looked deep into the darkness of that compound shadow, injecting my eyes into the darkness, until I seemed to see a hole in the center of reality, in the center of my soul, and any hope I had was swallowed up by that hole, as I said to myself, Aubrey will die. Hero will die. You will die. You will all die. And the light was in my soul, nevermore.

And the raven with the spirit of my beloved, who never flutters, still sits in the frame of the old photograph, looking at me every night until the end of my days, without eating, without drinking water, impassive, unbeatable. And his eyes look like those of an angel dreaming, and the light of the lamp above him casts his shadow on the floor, with my soul trapped in that shadow, while I understand. They will all die. I loved him so much. Oh, I loved him so much.

And my life will be held in the shadows.

And my body will be swallowed by the underworld.

And my soul swallowed by that shadow of that raven with the soul of my beloved, will be raised.... nevermore!

Adaptation of The Raven, by Edgar Allan Poe

Original art by @madnopost in Twitter and Instagram, as well as Your Time AU, in which this story is based. written by me

#omori #omori aus #omori sunkel #omori kel #omori sunny #omori suntan #omori caprisun #omori bad ending #omori fanfic #omori writing #omori angst

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kananjarus · 30 days

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20 Questions for Fic Writers

tagged by @bvckandeddie thank you so much!!! 💕

How many works do you have on ao3?

only 18 hehe

What's your total ao3 word count?

341,541 😳 I would've guessed way less than that lmao

What fandoms do you write for?

mostly 911 but I've written for star wars, spn, and marvel (mcu)

Top five fics by kudos:

end of the affair

fill me in (don't sink me)

this must be the place

13 days to say I love you

feeling small

Do you respond to comments?

yes...I don't know how to handle compliments so it takes me a while but I do my best

What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I don't think I have one?

What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

they all have happy endings knskdfn but I guess 13 days is the least angsty fic I've written

Do you get hate on fics?

not that I've heard? I got an meh comment for a 911 fic once because the reader was upset I wrote Eddie having a Real Adult Reaction to something instead of some uwu shit. that's the closest thing to negativity I've seen

Do you write smut?

I have before but it's been a while

Craziest crossover:

ehhh I'm not one for crossovers but I guess the 911 / station eleven au counts?

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

not that I'm aware of

Have you ever had a fic translated?

no but that would be so cool!

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

no :(

All time favourite ship?

that is so hard. I'm in my silverflint renaissance era currently so I'll pick them. the way their story ends will haunt me forever, and every time I rewatch the show it as painful as the first time all over again. it's a prequel to treasure island so even from their first meeting you might not know how their relationship plays out but you know it's going to end tragically. they are quite literally doomed by fate no matter what choices they make *screams into a pillow* that's my SHIT

What's a wip you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

other than my long star wars fic, my answer will always be the captain america/stevebucky house of leaves au. I was not a committed writer at all when I thought of it and the idea is still so cool to me but it would be such a huge project if I sat down and actually tried to flesh it out

What are your writing strengths?

writing suspense (I just wish I had the kind of big brain ideas for horror stories. I want to be a horror writer so bad)

What are your writing weaknesses?

lately I feel like it's been dialogue. I don't know if I'm just going thru a phase but every piece of dialogue I've written recently feels incredibly forced and I hate it

Thoughts on dialogue in another language?

I know limited spanish. that's the only foreign language I've written dialogue in but I'm always afraid of getting a translation wrong so I really try to avoid it if I can sdfjnkkgn

First fandom you wrote in?

h*rry p*tter

Favourite fic you've written?

it changes all the time lmao. dead reckoning is the current favorite because it was so fun to write, but I'm also really proud of my self for the station eleven au. when I first came up with the idea I was 'get real you'll never be able to pull this off' but I'm actually doing it! take that self-doubt 😊💪

Idk who has already done one of these but I'll tag: @rogerzsteven @shortsighted-owl @mellaithwen @asharadaine @markofalover

#tagged

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keithwinters · 5 months

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prompt from here! I just did... all of them bc I can't help myself tucking this under a cut to save space

What memory would your OC rather just forget? one that I can't share yet in case it comes up, but it was when he was a young teen. he still has nightmares over it. he wants to forget the sight, but also feels like maybe he should be haunted by it forever

What's something about your OC that people wouldn't expect just from looking at them? he likes math a lot... as well as sewing, cooking, little crafts of assorted kinds (you have to be so talented to make things so small!! he could never!!) he also really likes singing but is Too Shy

What is your OC's fatal flaw? Are they aware of this flaw? he holds himself to an incredibly unreasonable standard and is very harsh with himself when he inevitably falls short. he knows the virtues of love but also recognizes he doesn't love himself. it's something he's been circling around working on but makes very little progress on

When scared, does your OC fight, flee, freeze or fawn? it depends on the situation! most times nowadays he'll fight. he's scared but that's because there's a threat and he needs to protect his loved ones. he would also fight much earlier on in life but he managed to shift that to freezing/fawning as he got older. less of a problem (in his eyes) that way

How far is your OC willing to go to get what they want? he will break himself but (for the post part) never others, no matter how much he wants something

How easily could your OC be convinced to do something that goes against their moral compass? well he's killed people so. maybe concerningly less than he would have hoped?? something he's definitely been thinking about

What's one way your OC has changed since you first came up with them? he's much more of a softie carebear than I initially intended! he was always a doting/overprotective older brother, but as we played it just felt right to have him be more openly loving/emotional. it's meant to tie in with his efforts to be better at communicating, plus the curse of thinking of 1000 things you wanted to say to someone you can't ever see again also the wrestling stuff came a little later on and I love it so so much lol

Would your OC ostensibly be able to get away with murder? I would say so, yeah :> hee hoo ok but on Earth? ...maybe also yes. he does take after his mom a lot

Do you have a specific lyric or quote which you associate with your OC? too many. god. here's some bangers I don't think I've shared yet: "Oh devil, I made my own hell; And deep inside I'm sure I got here all by myself" - Oh Devil, Electric Guest "Til I'm bloody and bruised, till I've broken my bones; Til I won't be abused; Til I'm laughing alone" - I'm Gonna Win, Rob Cantor "I take your hand, now you'll never be lonely; Not when I'm home, sweet home" Mother, I'm Here, Darren Korb and OFC "Heartaches by the number, trouble by the score; Everyday you love me less, each day I love you more." Heartaches by the Number, Guy Mitchell

What's an AU that would be interesting to explore with your OC? I don't know enough about it to theorycraft or anything, but I think he would thrive in Monster Hunter... wrastling big beasties and cooking forever

What is your OC's weapon of choice? Have they ever actually used it? His fists!! and yes!! he's also used a hunting rifle, but that was years ago and he did not care for it at all. he very specifically refuses to use weapons for fighting because of one line of thought that might maybe come up in-game so. I shant say it.

Is your OC self-destructive? In what ways? god. yes. aside from his self-sabotage in general, he physically picks at himself when nervous and has the bad habit of leaving wounds unattended/aggravating them bc pain is the best teacher/reminder and he needs to Be Better

If you met your OC, would the two of you get along? I might bully him. sorry bb

How does your OC want to be seen by other characters? ok this is a BIG THING for him. and I feel silly saying it plain like this but- he wants to be seen as himself! not someone's idea of him, or as someone else, just. him. but if you asked him this question, he'd say he wants to be seen as helpful. useful. he wouldn't say, but think- to be seen as kind. warm. but again, useful. loveable.

Does your OC have a faceclaim? If so, who? nope! in an effort to not just leave it at that tho- when I make characters I focus on a couple specific traits/ features and then work outwards from there, so I have troubles finding faceclaims that have the same characteristics

What is your OC's pain tolerance like? pretty good! he's naturally pretty durable but it's also something he's put effort into maybe a weird amount of effort but like. it's all a part of being a better fighter, right? and! not worrying people!

What is the worst thing you have put your OC through story-wise? ripping him away from his family :> but honestly maybe that's not the worst, he's had a lot of good things come of that after all...maybe it'd be the other thing

Is your OC more cold and detached or up close and personal? Keith can try as hard as he can to be as cold and detached and intimidating as he may (occasionally) want, but he's cursed to be an affectionate puppy in the form of a man

How does your OC behave when enraged? seething. violent. but it takes so so so much to get him to "enraged" and he'd much rather keep it that way

Does your OC have a tendency to get jealous? If so, how does this manifest? with relationships, he's moreso clingy than jealous. if he's with someone, he trusts them full-stop. he wants attention, sure, but he doesn't view it as someone else getting attention he wants or should be for him. it's just a matter of if he's getting any or not. it's another facet of his tendency to think of himself as the problem in most things. similarly, while it might occasionally crop up (he's not immune to jealousy after all), it's sort of rare for him to be jealous of someone's status or stuff or... anything

Does your OC have any illnesses or disorders? How do they handle it? he's allergic to dogs and had to be dragged away from them many many times as a kid. he's also been in therapy for years (with good progress!) for PTSD, survivor's guilt, anxiety, and depression

What character alignment would you consider your OC to be? good! maybe neutral good? he'll go against law and order if he thinks it will ultimately help others

What emotion is the hardest for your OC to process? How about express? his anger. depending on his age it either took him over or he swallowed it completely. It's ok for others to be angry, to feel those feelings and deal with them... but never him. it's something to swallow, to break down and sand off

What is an alternative life path your OC might have gone down? How different would their life be if they'd made those decisions? if he never got isekai'd, he would...probably end up taking over the family store as intended and just existing. maybe he'd succeed in doing so and coast, maybe he'd have to sell it in the end and get a different job. but he was not thriving and had no idea of how to start doing so, and his family is not quite aware of the level he was at with that (although Sam got close). it's weird to say and incredibly hard for him to think about but this really was overall a positive change in his life.

What is your favorite thing about your OC? his whore eyelashes and big eyebrows

(I had to start a new block bc this was too long oh god oh jesus) how emotional he is. again, I didn't super intend for that to be the case, but I guess after playing a very deliberately UNemotive character for so long it was meant to be lol I love drawing and imagining all the dumbass faces he pulls!! he's my little guy!!!

#this is so long oh god #but I love these and it's been too long since I've filled one out!!!#THANK U FOR SHARING YES U♥#I'm sure there's stuff I missed or goofed but I have to ship it now or I never will

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kumamoto-division · 3 days

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Catharsis (prison break.ver, ARCA prison diss)

Thanks to @kunnaki for help me with the lyrics

-Starless Theater, kumamoto city-

[was close to midnight and all strange magic is in the starless's recording studio. Sitted in the leather divan and wearing their new outfits waiting for they "boss". Aoba is smoking a cigarette completely calm, Kunio have a curious look and Natsume look worry for his husband and friend]

Natsume: *looking at them*are you two sure of this

Kunio:calm down my dear,we are sure

Aoba:yeah, Undertaker had a good idea

Natsume:*sarcastically* yes, record a diss song for the prison that is looking for us three and sent it there is good idea

Kunio:c'mone love,you hate those bastards so much as us and with a good reason...all of three hate them

[Kunio touch his chocker feeling the electric injury under it, Natsume low the look angry thinking about Dei and both of them look at Aoba]

[the blue-haired just exhale his cigarette's smoke as he still calm he notices his friend's look at him and sighed. Aoba touch his wrist where he have purple bruises from handcuffs]

Aoba:I can't say I hate ARCA prison, from me is more a dislike and wish for tease them but i don't hate them *smirk* especially when most of the guards gave me all those good nights

Natsume:and i can't believe you slept with all ARCA's guards

Aoba:that was for the our scape's sake

Kunio:*roll his eyes* we could believe it of you not been starts to sleep with them just one or two days after be jailed, and before Undertaker explained us his plan to set us free

Aoba:*giggles*,I don't regret what i did, most of them was good

Natsume:even Amakusa? I was surprised that just slept even with him,i thought you hate him

Kunio:he was the worse of them, and unlucky our block guard

Aoba:*nods* that bastard of Amakusa could be a motherfucker but fuck,he was so good in-bed that I left him sleep with me more than one time

Natsume: please shut up

Aoba:*amusement* 'kay

[after some moments Undertaker entered and left strange magic enter to the recording studio]

Undertaker:are you three ready

Strange Magic:yes,boss

Aoba:with all respect Undertaker but are you sure of particpate in this song

Undertaker:of course i'm,after all I made the plot and helped you three to scape, it's fair, now... let's starts it off,I want to see the faces of ARCA when they heard this

[strange magic nodded and get close to the microphones]

Bring the beat!

["Undertaker"]

Slippin' through shadows, a ghost in the bars

I led the scape, under the radar's scars

Guards clueless, blind to the game

Strange Magic''s breakout, now who's to blame?

Warden's grip loose, we danced in the dark

Left ARCA in silence, not even a mark

Teasin' the chains, laughin' at locks

We vanished like whispers, outfoxin' the hawks

[Kunio:]

Reprimands fall, I rise, never will I comply

ARCA's trials, all in vain, under pressure, i fly

Their pain, my fuel, in defiance, i stand high

Unbowed, unbroken, againts their storm, I defy

Rules a farce, i'm the wild card, they can't deny

Their anger, just sparks, againts my rebel's cry

Jester's laugh, freedom's path, I amplify

Still here, still strong, their failure, i signify

(oh,oh,oh,oh)

[Undertaker]

Ghost in the cell, i'm the silent's bell

[Kunio]

Noble in jest, I put their guards to the thest

(oh,oh,oh,oh)

[both]

Together we stand, their fall we command,

our grand escape, forever unplanned

[Prison break]

Welcome to the prison

Praise the sharpened fangs, oh

New deal with the battle

I'm taking you to hell, uh

Catharsis

You don't need to be sad anymore

This is the catharsis

We're on you side

I'm gonna avenge you

[Aoba]

Succubus charm, I played the part

All the guards fell hard, i'm the heart's art

No regrets, no second guesses

Left them with heartaches and stresses

In their dreams they'll see my face

A haunting memory, they can't erase

Their love's labor, so easily schooled

By Guinevere's touch and body, they were fooled

[Natsume]

revenge burns deep for a fallen friend

ARCA's sins i'll make them mend

Guard's cruel jest, they took the best

Now in my chest is a vengenful quest!

A life they stole, a gaping hole

Now I patrol, with a vengeful soul

ARCA's fall I'll ensure

For a friend's cry revenge is pure

(oh,oh,oh,oh)

[Aoba]

Hearts fooled, guards schooled

[Natsume]

For a friend's fate i'm fueled

(oh,oh,oh,oh)

[Aoba and Natsume]

Together we rise ARCA demise!

This song is our victory cry!

[chorus]

Welcome to the prison

Praise the sharpened fangs

New deal with the battle

I'm taking you to hell

Catharsis

You don't need to be sad anymore

This is the catharsis

We're on your side

I'm gonna avenge you

[prison break]

Our breakout's just the starts

ARCA's fall we will chart

We'll shatter every bar, every cell we will mar

No cage can hold our spark, we will dodge every mark

This war, a deadly dance, we'll give no second chance

[chorus]

Welcome to the prison

Praise the sharpened fangs

New deal with the battle

I'm taking you to hell, uh

You don't need to be sad anymore

This is the catharsis

We're on your side

I'm gonna avenge you

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imgoingtofreakoutnow · 2 years

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Those who are left behind

Summary: Steve finds a connection while helping as a volunteer at Hawkins High

Pairing: Steve Harrington x gn!reader (can be seen as platonic or pre-romantic)

Warnings: mentions of death and mourning

Words: 1k

A/N: Hey, I hope you like this! I had fun writing it so yeah... sorry if it's a bit sad tho :D

Tags: @hellotvshowtrash @yn-ymn-yln @auroracalisto

Steve had been folding clothes for what it felt like forever. The moment he finished one pile, another appeared in a neverending cycle. He was more than surprised by how many clothes people could spare the moment disaster happened.

At some point, as he folded an oversized shirt or some worn jeans, his mind wandered off, haunting him with visions of everything that had happened in the last few days.

He wished he could help more, that he could do something more than folding clothes and occasionaly sewing holes in socks. He wanted to go back in time to stop all that destruction and pain, fix everything that went wrong...

And save those who got hurt, he thought, closing his fists around the fabric of a shirt.

"Hey, you alright?"

A voice coming from the side made Steve turn around toward Y/N. They started helping in the "clothes and toys" section the previous day, around the same time he did, but Steve knew them long before that day.

Steve used to sit behind them in biology class and, when he wasn't talking behind the teacher's back, he looked in a weird, bored awe at how neatly and closely they took notes. However, they had never spoken to each other before this.

"Not really, no" Steve scoffed, quickly folding the shirt as he tried to iron the creases that had appeared on it.

Y/N nodded, going back to sorting the different clothes by size and age. Then, eyeing carefully Steve, they asked softly: "Have you lost someone in the earthquake?"

"It wasn't-" Steve stopped as those words left his mouth. Of course they didn't know what really happened. They didn't know Hawkins – if not the entire world – was about to change.

No one did.

Except him and a bunch of highschool kids.

"Yes. Yes, I... I did." He nodded slowly, his eyes stuck on the printed logo of the shirt he had just put to the side. "We did."

"We?"

"My friends and I. We... we lost a friend," he murmured. "A good friend."

"I'm sorry for your loss." They paused for a good minute. "I know how hard it is to lose someone."

Steve glanced at Y/N. "Did you lose someone as well?"

"Not yesterday, no." They shook their head, fidgeting with a ring on their middle finger. "I lost my grandma, five years ago. And I know it's not the same: your wound is still new, mine had a while more to heal; but sometimes my heart aches because I can't run to her and tell her what good or bad happened to me during the day."

For a moment they stopped moving, clenching their hands to their chest, breathing slowly in and out.

"Sometimes I just wish I could hug her one last time, tell her how much I love her and just... you know... exist there with her, for a little while longer."

Y/N raised their eyes from their hands and found Steve staring at them, eyes wide and speechless. They quickly lowered them, passing a hand through their hair.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to make you feel worse with my words..."

"It's okay." Steve cut them off with a joyless smile. "I understand all too well what you're saying."

Silence fell again and the two went back to their jobs, a synchronised and perfectly working machine made up by two broken souls.

Then Y/N spoke again.

"You don't have to answer me but... how did they die?"

Steve considered ignoring the question. He hadn't really talked about it with anyone else outside the group and he wasn't sure what to say or how to say it.

But the need to tell someone else, someone who could understand, was stronger than his doubts.

"He died saving us, that fucking idiot..." He scoffed, shaking his head. "As if him dying a hero would make his loss any easier..."

He took a deep breath and he felt his throat burn with the sensation that anticipates tears.

"Does it ever get better? The weight... does it ever ease?"

He knew how he sounded: desperate, like a beggar or a dying man begging for Death to either take him or let him be.

He expected pity but there was none in Y/N's eyes. Just recognition. They understood.

"It needs time. A lot of time. And just as much patience. But it does. It gets to a point where the pain of losing them and the joy for having known them mix, and thinking about them doesn't feel so..."

"Heavy?"

Y/N nodded. "There will still be bad times though, and their absence will feel like drowning in a cup of water... and no matter how much time passes, it still hits like a fucking truck."

"Wow," Steve scoffed again, this time with more light in his eyes. "Is this supposed to make me feel hopeful or scared for my life?"

"Oh gosh, I'm so sorry..." Y/N covered their face with a teddy bear they were putting away. "I didn't mean to sound so pessimistic..."

"You didn't." Steve laughed softly. It had been a while and that sound felt weird on his lips, however it fit just as it used to. "You were just realistic. And I was trying to be funny and deflect my grief." He shook his shoulders. "Didn't work that well..."

Y/N nodded, a small smile on their lips. "At least you folded that shirt like a pro."

Another scoff as Steve passed them the shirt. "Thanks? After all, this could be my vocation."

Y/N raised their eyebrow. "What?"

"Being a housewife."

They unexpectedly broke out into laughter, leaving Steve slightly taken aback. That sound was strangely soothing and warm to his ears.

"Yeah" Y/N nodded, "I can totally see you wearing an apron!"

It was Steve's turn to laugh now and when they got back to their respective jobs, he knew something had switched. In him and between them, and despite the pain still there, he couldn't help but smile at the new-found connection.

#steve harrington x reader #steve harrington #steve harrington fic #steve harrington imagine #stranger things #stranger things s4 #st4

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secretwhumplair · 2 years

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No warrior

693 words | No Warrior (sequel to Bad day)

Content | Angst, low self-worth, referenced past torture

Notes | I wasn't sure about the direction this would go but it worked out alright eventually. Runar is trying his best.

Yes I love giving series titles to episodes it's like a get out of titling free card.

Taglist | @just-a-whumping-racoon-with-wifi @castielamigos-whump-side-blog @whump-me-all-night-long @whumpadump1939 @thingsthatgo-whump-inthenight @whumpzone @angel-stars @kixngiggles @whumpsy-daisies @briars7 @yet-another-heathen @rosesareviolentlyread @cupcakes-and-pain @hollowtreesinhollowwoods @pleasancies @much-ado-about-whumping @nine-tailed-whump @whump-em @itsleighlove @newbornwhumperfly @tears-and-lilies @deluxewhump @whump-cravings @wolfeyedwitch @melancholy-in-the-morning @neverthelass @whumpsday

As always, Runar picked Yves up from work in the evening. The little thing had insisted on going, even being so obviously tired, even after his breakdown during their midday walk that Runar couldn’t stop thinking about. Poor Yves, believing himself to be so unworthy of good things. Runar wished Yves could see himself through his eyes for just a moment.

As always, they sat down for dinner together. Watching Yves hang his head over the table, looking at nothing and especially not at Runar, hurt his heart.

»I’m sorry,« Yves muttered.

»There’s nothing to be sorry for, sweetheart,« Runar replied gently, the ache cutting deeper. He was glad Yves was talking at all, but if only he could understand-

Yves shook his head without looking up. »I shouted at you.«

»You were upset.«

»That doesn’t make it okay.« Runar could hear the crack in Yves’ voice. Was he still scared he would be punished?

»Maybe not, but… I understand.« He carefully reached out to place a hand over Yves’, cold as always. Yves didn’t flinch, which Runar took as a good sign. »I’ve said it before, your soul is injured.«

»Why won’t it heal, then?« Yves swallowed, then he finally looked up, only to reveal his eyes full of tears.

»It will,« Runar promised and regretted the words as soon as they left his mouth. You don’t know that. »It will get better, at least.«

»I feel like it’s getting worse,« Yves said, hanging his head again.

Runar didn’t know what to say, just like he hadn’t known how to help, not really, all this time. He didn’t know it would get better. But all injuries healed eventually, didn’t they?

Some healed wrong, an aching reminder of what had happened forever haunting the injured.

Some got infected and took too long, took entire limbs and lives.

He didn’t know, was the simple truth.

All he knew was that Yves deserved better.

It took too long to find something to say; Yves got there first. »Why did you say that?«

»Say what?«

»That I… I have the heart of a warrior.« Yves’ voice dripped with self-loathing sarcasm. »When it’s so fucking obvious I don’t.«

Runar didn’t think he ever heard Yves swear before, but even not knowing the language, the meaning couldn’t have been clearer. He was torn between being glad for Yves acting bolder, or worried about the - well, everything around it.

»If that were true, why am I so…« Yves shook his head and didn’t finish the sentence.

»Alive?« Runar proposed gently. »Yves, I’ll tell you as many times as you need to hear it, it takes a brave soul to survive what you did.«

»You don’t know what…«

Runar paused. Again, that sudden - or perhaps not so sudden? had he missed something? - readiness to answer back to him that filled him with a burst of pride, even among all the suffering Yves was still going through, with his inability to see the progress Runar saw. And he was right. Runar knew so little about the circumstances of Yves’ imprisonment. Eventually, he cautiously asked, »Do you want to tell me?«

»No.« Yves’ voice was barely a whisper.

Runar just nodded, hoping Yves saw his acknowledgement. »I have seen your injuries, though,« he pointed out. »I’ve seen how hard it was for you to feel - start feeling safe here.« He was going out on a limb, but he hoped that was what had happened; that the little sweetheart accepting, even requesting hugs meant he was no longer afraid of him, that wanting to work within the community meant he wanted to make himself at home.

Yves gave a tiny nod, as if his whisper had taken physical form. He swallowed, then added, in a slightly more substantial voice, »I still could never be a warrior though.«

»Why?«

»Stop it.« Yves didn’t sound as upset as he had in the afternoon - just resigned. He turned away and got up from the table, leaving his half-eaten bread, retrieving his hand from under Runar's like it was nothing. »Please.«

Runar’s heart stung, but he let it be, not sure he understood well enough to argue.

#whump #whump writing #angst #my writing #no warrior #runar #yves

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smkkbert · 1 year

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Time for a story - What we leave behind

“So Mia is their baby.”

It was a statement, but it sounded like a question in Felicity’s ears. Maybe it was because of the thousand questions that had come to her mind with it.

“I guess so, yes.” She nodded her head slowly. “Unless Cisco was mistaken.”

Oliver raised an eyebrow at her. “Do you think he was?”

Felicity bit down on her tongue. She wanted to say that she believed he was mistaken because it was just too cruel if he wasn’t. She knew how conscientious Cisco was, especially when he knew that the results of his work would cause dangerous actions in response.

“No, not really.” Felicity sighed and moved her fingers through her ponytail. “He has probably checked this through twice before he called.”

Oliver nodded his head in agreement.

Neither of them was saying anything about that Earth’s Oliver and Felicity. They both knew their destiny and repeating it was not necessary and definitely not something they wanted to do anyway. It would only rip open old wounds.

“There is no other way, Felicity, but trust me when I tell you that I love you. I loved my Felicity and in some weird, supernatural way, I guess I love you, too. So please just close your eyes. I’m sorry.”

Felicity felt a shiver running down the length of her spine at the memory of watching that Oliver die right in front of her. He had been in so much pain about losing his Felicity that he had come to abduct her. When that hadn’t worked, he had just ended his life. He just hadn’t been able to stand the loss of her.

She was still haunted by this moment in her dreams sometimes. Most of the times, it was her Oliver, who jumped off the rooftop, when she felt set back into that moment in her nightmares. The first time that had happened she had woken up covered with sweat and with her heart racing. Oliver – very much alive and worried about her – had wrapped his arms around her and assured her that he wasn’t going anywhere. That was the only thing that had calmed her down and the only thing that had made it easier to suffer through more of these nightmares in the nights that had followed.

As much as Felicity wanted to think that she couldn’t understand that Oliver’s choices, she knew what it felt like to lose a spouse. Back when Malcolm Merlyn had faked Oliver’s death, she had spent several hours believing that she had lost him forever. She had never been as desperate in her entire life as she had been back then.

If her life had been different, if she hadn’t had any kids, maybe she would have tried to follow him into death. What life was life without him?

“I can’t believe there is or was an Oliver Queen that would kill himself, knowing that he had a child,” Oliver said, “because I know that, no matter what happens, as long as one of our children lives, I have a reason to go on living.”

Felicity smiled sadly while she was watching Oliver slumping down in one of the chairs with a long sigh. She stepped towards him and put her hand to his shoulder, about to say something comforting when-

“What’s going on?” Oliver asked, just knowing from the look on her face that something had come to her mind. “What are you thinking about?”

“That things just don’t line up.”

Felicity frowned and went it through in her head to make sure that she was indeed right. She had relived every action of that day and every word that had been said on that rooftop so many times, she couldn’t be wrong here.

“When Oliver, Earth 16’s Oliver, has been here, he says that his Felicity was dead.” Felicity shook her head. “Mia was a newborn when we found her though, and she was only found three weeks later.”

Oliver frowned. “You think his Felicity might still be alive?”

“Possible, don’t you think?”

“I’m not sure.” Oliver rested his elbows on the armrest of the chair and started spinning his wedding band around his finger. “I know that he and I are not the same person, but I think it’s deep in my DNA to go a hundred percent sure to have reliable proof before actually committing defeat to the idea that you are dead.”

He was right, Felicity thought. Oliver, any Oliver Queen that existed in the multiverse, wouldn’t go to these extremes without triplechecking everything.

“So we need to find out how Mia was born when Felicity was presumably dead,” Felicity concluded, “and we need to find out who took Mia here.”

Oliver nodded his head. “Probably someone from the team.”

“There was no team.” Felicity started walking up and down. “There was only him and Felicity. He wanted to do one last thing before leaving Starling City with her. Something went wrong, and he lost her.”

Felicity didn’t know all the details about what had happened. She hadn’t wanted to know them back when the rooftop incident had happened since she had had other things on her mind. Oliver of Earth 16 hadn’t been really eager to talk about the details either. He had been too lost in his pain and his realization of how wrong his actions were to talk to her about what had driven her in the first place.

“So someone else must have taken Mia to this earth.”

Felicity nodded her head. “That is what we need to find out when we are on Earth 16.”

“My cue!”

Flinching, Felicity jumped in front of Mia’s stroller protectively. As soon as she saw Barry, standing there in front of her with in his Flash Suit with a bright grin and holding out a little device to her, she relaxed again. Sometimes she forgot how fast Barry was and how out of nowhere he appeared to come then.

“Is that the device to get us to Earth 16?”

“It is.”

Felicity snapped it from his fingers quickly and turned it into her hands until she found the little button. As soon as she pressed it, the sound of a crashing wave arose and colorful flashlights poured out of the device. As the device was pulled from her hands by some invisible power, the flashlights formed to a circle. The portal opened.

She could feel Oliver stepping next to her and blindly reached out her hand to link her fingers with his. This was probably going to be one of the most important journeys they had ever taken together.

Felicity’s feet were already itching to take a step forward through the portal. She resisted the urge to go through it though, turned to Barry and cocked her head at him.

“Would you mind watching Mia?”

“Pfft.” Barry sat down in the armchair, put his feet up on the desk and twiddled his thumbs. “I love babysitting.”

Although Barry always seemed to take some things too easily, Felicity knew that he would be a good babysitter. He wouldn’t be Tommy’s godfather if it was any different. So she shot him a smile of gratitude and turned to Oliver.

“Ready?” he whispered.

Felicity felt her knees shaking. No, she wasn’t ready, but she doubted that there was any time long enough to give her the courage to take on this journey. There were just some things in life that you couldn’t get ready for, no matter how much time you were given to prepare yourself.

“We should go.”

Oliver seemed to know that Felicity wasn’t ready. He squeezed her hand, trying to offer her some strength and comfort. She knew that he wasn’t ready either, but he knew was well as she did that they just didn’t have a choice. They needed answers, and they needed them now.

Hand in hand they stepped through the portal into the lives of their doppelgängers.

→ → → → →

“I always seem to forget how similar these earths are to each other.”

Looking around the bunker on Earth 16, Felicity nodded her head. The portal had led them right into the bunker, and it looked like an exact replica of the bunker they used on their earth. Still, you could see that things were different here. The furniture was covered in dust. The glass cases that held the suits of the team were empty. Some of them shattered, the glass covering the ground.

“It looks like it’s been a while since someone has been here the last time,” she said, “and we both know it didn’t end well.”

Oliver, who was still holding her hand, squeezed it briefly before he crossed the bunker and approached the power switch. He shot her a quick look before turning the power on.

“At least the computers still work.”

Felicity sat down in the arm chair and turned towards the computers. The software hadn’t been updated in a while. She was using a much better version on her earth. This one took several minutes to boot, and lacked some features that Felicity had found helpful and added to the program. It was obvious that nobody with a sense for computers had been working here in a while.

As soon as the computer were able to offer their services to her, Felicity did her research. It didn’t take her long. The internet provided the necessary basic information. The hospital data bank and information that were automatically gathered by the system filled in the blanks. She skimmed the information so quickly that Oliver gave up reading over her shoulder.

When she had absorbed every piece of information that she had been able to find, she leaned back in the chair and let out a long sigh. With it, it wasn’t only the air leaving her lungs. It was at least part of the heaviness that was threatening to bury her after reading what had happened to her doppelganger here or the doppelgangers of the people she loved.

“So?”

Oliver had stopped walking up and down. He was standing at the other side of the platform, holding onto the railing and looking at her intently.

“After we-“

Felicity stopped. They weren’t the same person. They were doppelgängers. They carried the same name, looked the same way, and they shared the same DNA. They had experienced different things though, and that had made them two different persons with different lives and different destinies. This Felicity wasn’t her.

“When Oliver and Felicity couldn’t take down Grant Wilson, they decided to leave the city like so many others have done before them. This city has basically turned into an official meeting point for all kind of criminals. There are no politicians anymore, at least not any that were elected rightfully. The police gave up, and so did a lot of other institutions. Starling City has turned into a ghost town sort of.”

Oliver’s jaws tightened. Their Starling City had been on the verge of becoming overflooded by criminals too by the time he had decided to put on the hood. All he had done for the past years had been an attempt at making sure something like this wouldn’t happen on their earth. Thanks to the good influences that had worked on him, he had achieved much more than that though.

“What about the government?” he asked. “Why don’t they do something to help?”

“They are scared.” Felicity shrugged her shoulders. “They are giving up one city and hope to save a lot of others by that. It might be a temporary solution, but we both know that villains like these aren’t satisfied with what they have here for long.”

“But the government shuts their eyes to this.”

Again, Felicity just shrugged her shoulders. She knew that their so-called solution would only help the criminals to network a little. They would form collaborations and attack the rest of the country. Even if they didn’t, there would be some criminals that would decide to do the same at the other side of the U.S., and these two groups would start attacking each other to find out who was the mightier.

A shiver ran down Felicity’s spine at the possible outcome of a scenario like that. Surrendering the city to the criminals would create war sooner or later.

“So when Oliver and Felicity wanted to leave,” Felicity continued eventually, knowing there was no point in worrying about this earth too much since they had their own to save, “Grant Wilson used that opportunity to attack them. He and his men fired at the car with machine guns. Felicity was hit by several bullets and taken to a hospital, but she was braindead already.”

Oliver swallowed, sucked in a deep breath, and he nodded his head. “How Mia fit into the story?”

“Felicity was pregnant when they were about to leave the city. That is why the doctors decided to monitor her condition and use a feeding tube and whatever to keep her body alive for a little longer. That way she was able to bring Mia into the world. After that, she was taken off the machines.”

A long silence settled as they both took their time to process this piece of information. Learning about the lives of your doppelgängers was never easy. You could see how easily you could have lived through something similar. The thought of leaving behind her children was one that scared Felicity again and again.

The most tragic about it all, she thought to herself, was probably the timing of it all. Oliver had agreed to leave the city behind which certainly hadn’t been easy for him since saving Starling City was a big part of who Oliver was. Just when he had decided to put his own happiness with the woman, he loved in front of everything else, it had all been taken away from him.

Felicity pushed that thought away though because there was no good in getting lost in the thought of all this tragic stuff. They still had a reason for being here, and they hadn’t completely fulfilled that purpose yet. The information that she had gathered still left a lot of questions unanswered.

“We need to find out who took Mia to out earth,” Felicity said, “because with everyone else gone, Oliver and Felicity must have friends here that we don’t have on out earth. We should find out who placed her in that dumpster and why. There has to be a reason why she was placed on our earth of all the possible places in this multiverse.”

“And I already know how we will find out.”

Turning her head back over her shoulder, Felicity saw that Oliver wasn’t looking at her. She followed his gaze to the scattered pieces of glass across the bunker. Felicity had a guess what that meant. She didn’t like it, but it might be their only chance.

→ → → → →

“I don’t like this.”

Oliver bit his tongue and turned his face away from the surveillance camera that he was sure Felicity had hacked to watch him. With his face hidden in the shadows, he smiled to himself. He had already been betting with himself when Felicity would finally admit that she wasn’t too happy with his decision to put on the leather gear and show up on the rooftops of Starling City.

Back in the bunker, she hadn’t said a word about it. She had thought it for sure. Oliver had seen it in the way she had watched him intently again and again. She had been worried, but she hadn’t voiced those worries because they both knew there was no other way, and they really needed to find out why Mia was placed with them.

“So many of out friends’ doppelgangers died here,” Felicity said, “so you need to be extra careful. Our doppelgangers here were attacked. I-“

Felicity stopped, and Oliver could almost see her biting her lip and watching him on her monitors with worry. Slowly turning around to the camera, one of the few that seemed to still be working around here, Oliver smiled at Felicity gently.

“I am careful,” he whispered, “I promise. By the end of the night, the two of us will go home to our kids safely.”

“Your words in Jahwe’s ear.”

Oliver was about to reply and reassure her that it was going to be fine. A movement behind him, caused him to forget about that thought.

“A man, small, dark leathers, weaponed,” Felicity told him with calm voice, “seven feet behind you.”

Tightening the hold on his bow, Oliver turned around slowly. He saw what Felicity had described to him already. Standing a couple of feet away from him was a small man in dark leathers. He was holding a gun in his left hand and a knife in his right hand. He hadn’t raised them yet, so Oliver didn’t raise his bow either. The mask hid a young face, but Oliver didn’t think that he remembered seeing it before.

“Who are you?” he asked.

“I could ask you the same question,” a distorted voice replied as the guy was using a voice modulator it seemed.

“I am Oliver Queen.”

“Oliver Queen is dead.”

Oliver Queen had never been found dead on this earth. A.R.G.U.S. had taken care of his body after he had died. He had never left Earth One again. Either that guy knew about the multiverse, or he knew this earth’s Oliver well enough to know that he had to be dead if he just disappeared and didn’t come back.

He had to consider what to say now carefully. If that guy wasn’t a friend of this earth’s Oliver and actually worked for Grant Wilson, hearing of different earths might give the criminals here some ideas.

Oliver raised his free hand slowly and pulled back the hood. Then he took off the mask and wiped away the grease from his face. The face of the stranger in front of him didn’t show a reaction or at least it barely did. He pressed his lips together slightly, telling Oliver that he had chosen the right thing to do.

“He knows something,” Felicity whispered into his ear.

“How did you know Oliver Queen?”

“The better question is-“

“You already know who I am. Now it’s time for you to answer a question.”

The guy nodded slowly, looking Oliver up and down for a moment. “We’ve been at Slabside together.”

Oliver had made friends at even unlikelier places than prison, and some of those friendships still meant a lot to him. Many of them had saved his life more than once.

“Is there a Slabside at the earth you come from?”

He knew about the other earths.

“My facial recognition program says he’s Stanley Dover. He has been working for Queen Consolidated back when Oliver’s father was still alive. He was later sent to Slabside for being involved with Count Vertigo, but he was released as he seems to have gone astray because his parents tortured him. His father was a doctor and used self-made medicine to correct his misbehavior.” Felicity sighed. “There are a lot of people in this world that shouldn’t have children, but I guess we knew that already. Anyway, I think we found our guy,”

Oliver couldn’t agree more. There were a lot of people in the world that shouldn’t have children and still have them, and this guy knew stuff. Right now he was their best chance at finding out what exactly had happened that had made Mia end up in a dumpster.

“There is a Slabside at Earth One.” Oliver took a step closed. “That isn’t why I am here though, and I think you know that.”

Stanley Dover continued to look right back at him, but Oliver could see in his eyes that he really wanted to look away.

“You are here because of the baby.”

“Mia,” Oliver said, feeling the need to make sure her name was known, “her name is Mia.”

“Mia.” Stanley Dover nodded his head. “If you think that she’s mind, you are wrong. She-“

“-is the baby of this earth’s Oliver Queen,” Oliver interrupted him, “I know.”

The ghost of a smile showed on Stanley Dover’s face. “Of course you know.”

“Why did you take this earth’s Oliver Queen’s baby and brought it to out earth and into our lives?”

With a long sigh, Stanley Dover pushed the knife into the pocket of his leather jacket and put the gun away into the holster. Oliver loosened his grip on the bow in response. Neither of them meant to cause any harm to the other.

“The baby-“

“Mia.”

“Mia,” Stanley Dover corrected himself, “was in need of someone who love her. She couldn’t grow up here in a city that Oliver Queen abandoned because it wasn’t savable. Her mother was killed here brutally, and her father was pushed into ending his own life because of everything that happened here. Besides, she would have a bounty on her head the moment anyone would have known she was alive. There was no place for her here.”

It would have been a sad and lonely life, Oliver knew from experience. After his parents had died and he had made so many enemies that he couldn’t have counted them all even if he had tried, he had hidden at the foundry a lot. He had shifted his entire life there and probably wouldn’t have made an appearance at Oliver Queen ever again if it hadn’t been for Thea first and foremost.

The thought that a baby would have to go through that and grow up in a life like that was just unthinkable. She would have never been happy because she would have never been free.

“Why our earth?” Oliver asked.

“Are you serious?” Stanley Dover asked. “Oliver – this earth’s Oliver – wanted your earth’s Felicity to be Mia’s mother after his Felicity was declared braindead. He did days and night of research to make sure Mia got only the best version of a mother there was of Felicity. He chose your wife, so where else should I have taken her?”

Oliver nodded his head as it made sense. Stanley Dover had tried to honor his friend’s will by bringing Mia to where he knew his friend had wanted her to be – to Felicity.

Still, it didn’t make everything okay.

“Mia is sick,” Oliver said, suppressing his anger as much as he could, “very sick even. She could have died because you just left her in a dumpster instead of-“

“Is she alright?”

There was honest worry in his voice. He certainly hadn’t wanted to endanger her. It eased Oliver’s anger a little.

“She is going to be fine. She needed surgery, and she will need more surgery, but she is going to be okay. Although you left her there.”

“I had no choice.” Stanley Dover looked sincerely sorry. “The guy that took me a Earth One had strict rules. I wasn’t allowed to talk to anyone or be seen by anyone. I only had like three minutes. Putting her there was my best shot at making sure she was found by the right people at the right time. I never could have hurt Mia. She is Oliver’s daughter.”

Oliver nodded his head. Stanley Dover had been forced to make a difficult choice, and he had done the best he could to make sure his friend’s daughter wasn’t only safe but also loved. He had wanted to give her the best chance at happiness she could possibly have.

She would be happy, Oliver swore himself, because he and Felicity would make sure of that. Just like her siblings would make sure of that. She had a big family on their earth. They had loved her, thinking she had just stumbled into their lives by coincidence, and they would love her, knowing she had been placed into their life with a purpose.

“Ask him about the timeline of events,” Felicity asked, sounding breathlessly, “like when they got together or when they discovered that they were having a baby.”

“We need to know more about this earth’s Oliver and Felicity. We need to know what their life was like. When Mia grow up, she should know that her parents loved her and loved each other.”

Their love for each other was something that he and Felicity tried to show their kids every single day. They wanted them to know what true love looked like and make sure that they wouldn’t settle for anything less.

“Oliver and Felicity got married five years ago,” Stanley Dover explained, “but Grant Wilson took over the city only a couple of weeks later. Within months, they had experienced more loss than anyone could face. They couldn’t take it anymore, and they didn’t have anyone else. The only one left to take out their frustration on was each other.”

“Make sense,” Felicity whispered.

“And then?” Oliver asked.

“A couple of months later, they realized that they couldn’t live without each other. Felicity wanted Oliver to join her, but he couldn’t give up on Starling City. They compromised on one last mission. Felicity came back for that, they got back together and they almost succeeded with their mission.”

“Almost,” Oliver repeated quietly, “is not enough.”

“Oliver realized that too.” Stanley Dover nodded his head. “When Felicity told him that she was pregnant, he knew that they had to leave. He wanted to raise their child somewhere safe and sound. They wanted to leave, but-”

“-Felicity got shot.”

“Yes.”

It was a sad truth and a sad ending to a love story, but there was nothing they could do to change it. All they could do was accept it and make sure that Mia would grow up safe and loved. That was something they could very well do.

Oliver crossed the distance to Stanley slowly. Standing only two feet in front of him, he held out a hand. Stanley hesitated before he shook it.

“Thank you for your service to the Green Arrow and to this city. We are forever in your debt for bringing Mia into out lives. She will be in good hands with us.”

Stanley Dover seemed to be at a loss of words. He just nodded his head and breathed in and out slowly. He nodded his head though, accepting the words.

When Oliver turned away from him, he touched the front of his chest right over his heart. There was no need to do that anymore. Felicity could hear anything that he said when he was wearing the suit, but sometimes he still felt drawn back to those old days when he had to touch his heart to talk to her.

“Come back,” Felicity said before he could say anything though, “it’s time to go home.”

“Yes, it is. I’m on my way.”

→ → → → →

Just one more look, Felicity told herself and opened the door as quietly as possible. Tiptoeing towards the crib, she tried to not even breathe. She didn’t want to make a single sound that could wake up Mia after it had taken her almost two hours to get the five-months-old to fall asleep earlier tonight.

As soon as Felicity bent over the crib, Mia surprised her by being wide awake though. She squealed and reached out her tiny hands for the ends of Felicity’s hair. Felicity had to bend down a little bit more for Mia to be able to grab them. She kicked her feet excitedly in response and squealed once more.

“You were supposed to be asleep.” Felicity lifted Mia from the crib and into her arms. Placing her against her chest, she sat down in the rocking chair and kissed Mia’s head. “I know I won’t be able to find much sleep tonight, but I have an excuse after everything that I have learned today.”

Felicity still tried to wrap her mind around it. She had seen how desperate that Oliver had been when he had tried to abduct her. He had been completely out of himself. It was why he had jumped off that rooftop eventually. Only now she realized how desperate he really must have been if not even the thought of Mia could have helped him through it.

A familiar tingling in the back of her neck made Felicity smile and turn her head back over her shoulder. Oliver was standing in the doorframe, leaning against the wood with his hands pushed into the pockets of his sweatpants. He looked about as exhausted as Felicity felt.

Their eyes met. Although no word was spoken, a silent conversation was taking place. The look on her face alone was enough for Oliver to know what she was thinking about. She was sure that he even realized that looking at him hurt a little tonight, just like looking at her might hurt Oliver a little tonight. Just knowing that there were doppelgangers of them out there that not only didn’t make it together. They didn’t make it at all.

It was the stuff that their nightmares were made of.

“He was a broken man, Felicity,” Oliver said eventually, stepping closer and sitting down on the armrest of the rocking chair. “He had been through losses that I, luckily, never had to face. If I had to live through the trauma he has been through, I am not sure where I would be right now.”

Felicity didn’t want to hear it, and she didn’t want to think about it. She knew Oliver was right. She knew that he might have done something similar if he had been in the same situation. After all, he and that Oliver shared the same DNA. Everything else was just the experience they were put through.

Lifting her face to look at Oliver, she saw him focused on Mia. If the expression in his eyes was any indication, he was thinking and feeling the same she did. Felicity wasn’t surprised. She and Oliver shared a lot of feelings and thoughts on things.

“I’m really glad Mia is here with us.”

Oliver nodded his head. “I always felt like she belonged here with us.”

“You did, didn’t you?” Felicity said, frowning slightly. “You found her and knew she was part of the family.”

“Maybe there was things that last even through multiverses.”

Felicity smiled at the thought. Maybe Oliver had really felt some kind of bond between him and Mia because, at least genetically speaking, he was her father. It was weird because he hadn’t fathered her, not really, but she had been made of his DNA. It was… complicated. Everything that included multiverses was complicated. Always.

Resting her head on Mia’s tummy, she felt the quick beat of the baby’s heart beneath her palm. Mia looked so happy and so carefree. Only a baby could look like that. She didn’t have a single worry in her life because she was feeling loved and taken care of. She didn’t know how she had come here and what she had had to lose to be here.

“One day we will have to tell her the truth about where she comes from and who she is.”

With a sigh, Oliver rested his hand over Felicity’s. “Yes, we will. She deserves to know that.”

“It will be interesting.” Felicity felt like she had to chuckle, but it died in her throat. “I mean I thought telling her that her mother left her in a dumpster was hard, but this…”

How did you tell a child that she had been taken here from another universe? That she had been placed in the lives of her parents’ doppelgangers because her parents were dead? That all the people she had grown up around were either dead or had never existed where she came from?

“We will tell her one day,” Oliver said with firm voice, “one distant day when she is old enough and strong enough to understand that she was meant to come here to this universe and into our lives, even though it’s terrible that she and Oliver and Felicity had to go through all of that trauma for that to happen.”

Felicity brought herself to smile sadly. She lifted her gaze and looked at Oliver.

“We will tell her together one day.”

Oliver turned his eyes away from Mia and looked at Felicity. She could see in his eyes that he knew what she was intending. She didn’t just want to make him promise that they would sit Mia down and talk to her together when the time came. She wanted to promise her that, even when things got bad, he’d always come back home. She couldn’t lose him, and their kids couldn’t lose him either.

Leaning down, Oliver placed a gentle kiss to Felicity’s forehead.

“We will tell her together,” he whispered against her skin, “of course we will.”

* * *

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