#jeon jungkook fanfiction | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

taexual · 6 days

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sleepwalking ● 23 | jjk

pairing: jungkook x fem!reader

summary: due to unfortunate circumstances, you ended up managing your ex-boyfriend’s band. you thought you’ve both made peace with it, but suddenly he’s very eager to prove to you that first love never dies.

genre: rockstar!jungkook / exes to lovers

warnings: explicit language, mentions of drugs (nothing graphic), descriptive SMUT (pet names and a sprinkle of worship included, beware), fluff and too much flirting to be allowed, some angst, SLOW BURN

words: 19.8k

read from the beginning ○ masterlist

chapter 23 ► in this open warfare, i won't fight fair, and in your waking moments, i will be there

The next morning, you and Jungkook took Minjun, Luna, and Maggie to a small restaurant—unreasonably far from your hotel in London—to have a late breakfast and to plot. The five of you were a lot more concerned with the latter, and the bacon and egg sandwiches on your plates were relegated to mere decoration.

You had already discussed your plan with Luna and Maggie over the phone last night, but you wanted to meet everyone in person to ensure you were all on the same page, and to inform Jungkook of his role (which was intentionally non-existent).

You believed that the fewer members of Rated Riot got tangled up in Sid’s slimy web, the lower the risk of collateral damage. Ideally, you would have left Jungkook out entirely. But his friendship with Sid made him a linchpin in the machinations of your scheme—he would be the most affected if something went awry.

“This plan relies heavily on the circumstances, I admit,” you said, while your friends feigned interest in their food to avoid the disapproving glances of the restaurant staff. “But maybe that will work to our advantage because we will hardly have to do anything. We will draw the authorities’ attention to Sid, and that’s it. He’ll do the rest himself.”

“Yeah,” Minjun added as your primary accomplice in this scheme. He was busy trying to stop his napkins from blowing away in the fierce wind on the restaurant’s terrace. “And that’s why we need Jude to let us into their hotel room—”

“Wait,” had become Jungkook’s new favourite word. He used it now, too. “And are we sure that Jude won’t change his mind?”

Maggie and Luna turned to you, mirroring Jungkook’s skepticism.

“We’re not,” you admitted. You were aware of the risk, but time has never been more of the essence, and Jude was your best option. “We’re not telling him too much and hoping for the best.”

“And to be honest,” Minjun added, “the fact that she gave him that laundry list of shit to do—”

“Wait,” Jungkook said again. “What list?”

You waved off his question, but Minjun answered on your behalf, clinging to this as if it was the only convincing evidence the five of you had against Jude changing his mind.

“Like, vitamins and stuff,” he explained. “To ease his withdrawals. I don’t know if he followed her instructions, but anyone could see how much it meant to him, just the fact that she cared enough. Maybe that’ll be what keeps him on our side, even though he’s back with Sid right now.”

Maggie wrinkled her nose in clear disapproval, although you knew she would have reacted the same way if she’d seen Jude—her heart was bigger than her head, bless her.

“He’s done nothing to deserve this from you,” she pointed out.

“Yeah, he—yeah,” Jungkook agreed, the confidence in his voice wavering as he alternated between gratitude for your concern about Jude, and guilt for putting you in this position. “You didn’t have to help him.”

“He’s really not doing well,” you said. “And don’t think I’m so kind, I acted largely out of my own self-interest. We need him for our plan.”

Jungkook recalled Jude’s sneezing, his shivers in forty-degree heat, and his nausea. All of his symptoms always came and went without warning, but the memory of someone going out of their way for him was likely to stay.

“Okay,” Jungkook acquiesced. “That’s—let’s keep going.”

“We won’t need to involve Jude every step of the way, though, right?” Luna clarified. “I mean, I assumed we’d mainly need him to get rid of whatever Sid has in his phone gallery.”

“Yeah, but not just—we’re not just deleting the videos with Jungkook,” you said, glancing at Minjun, who had supported you wholeheartedly when you mentioned this part of the plan to him. He nodded now, too, encouraging you to explain. “We’ll delete everything he has in his Cloud storage and factory reset his phone. I doubt Sid had enough sense to back up his files to an external drive, so this will clear every copy of everything he has on there.”

Maggie’s eyes finally lit up with lively excitement, Luna nodded in agreement, and you felt a smile forming on your own lips, too.

Jungkook, on the other hand, appeared almost disappointed.

“W-we don’t have to go through all of this just to delete those videos,” he said, fixing his gaze on his untouched cup of matcha latte; the artwork on the surface had begun to blur. “Those things happened. I did all of that shit, and Sid recorded it. That’s who I was back then, and maybe I shouldn’t try to—”

You interrupted his words—the ones you’d already heard before—with a gentle touch of your hand over his restless fingers, and Jungkook stilled, turning to you.

“No, those videos are not who you are. You are the one who decides who you are,” you reiterated once more and the table fell silent around you as if everyone had witnessed something they were not supposed to. “And if you want to leave those things in the past, you should be able to. Sid has no right to bring it up now.”

“But if we lock Sid up,” he persisted, “then maybe those videos won’t matter anyway.”

“He could publish them,” Minjun countered. “He sent them directly to you now, but he could post them publicly later. I’m sure he’d find a way to do that even behind bars.”

Jungkook felt a rush of dizziness and he was very grateful that you’d pressed your hand on his. Minjun was right. Sid had done something like this before when he’d posted your picture; he clearly wasn’t above making private matters public.

“We would leave the videos be, let Sid have them, whatever,” you continued, reading the colour on his face, “but he wants to use them against you. He’s cutting them up to paint you as an irresponsible asshole. And you’re not an asshole, Jungkook.”

“Yeah,” Minjun agreed. “And I talked to Jude about an hour ago. He sounded sober, which is shocking to me, but, anyway—Sid has plans to go out tonight, so Jude should be able to do this tomorrow morning while Sid’s still passed out.”

The whole terrace of the restaurant seemed to hold its breath in anticipation as soon as he said that, the clink of cutlery and the muffled chatter around you growing tense.

Jungkook, even dizzier now, turned back to you once more. You gave him a small nod.

He took a breath and nodded back. “Okay. Alright. Fine. Let’s do it.”

“Good!” Maggie cheered from across the table. She turned to Jungkook, and you watched as her reassuring tone chased the last doubts from his eyes. “Even without those videos, we need to do this to get back at Sid. And I know this will do just that. I’d be tearing my hair out if someone cleansed my Cloud.”

You noticed that Maggie was much more vigilant with her phone today, hardly letting it out of her sight. She’d improved her security measures and had to enter her passcode every time she wanted to reply to a text today, because the facial recognition struggled to recognise the wind in her hair. This was the reason she hadn’t bothered with it before, but Sid had taught her a valuable lesson.

You gave your friend an agreeing nod and settled against the back of your chair.

Luna sat on your other side, leaning her elbows on the table, and she quickly noted the way Jungkook’s eyes widened when you pulled back, as if you had torn off a piece of his skin. She glanced at Maggie, who noticed nothing and kept checking the time on her phone as if she was late for another meeting to plan someone’s arrest.

Somewhat disappointed, Luna turned back to you, her grin doubling in size to compensate for her lack of company in teasing you.

“One big problem,” you said, focused on the intricacies of your plan and, therefore, unaware of your surroundings, “lies in our next steps. If we manage to get Sid arrested, he will likely weaponise his friendship with Jungkook. He’ll try to make it seem like they’re as close as brothers, and if he’s going to jail for meth possession, then Jungkook is probably doing drugs, too.”

You pulled your phone out from your bag and allowed for the weight of your words to settle on the table like a heavy grey tablecloth while you opened your gallery.

“So, this morning,” you continued, “Maggie and I put something together. This is a list of people who are banned from Rated Riot’s shows.”

You passed your phone to Luna first. She looked at the screen, nodded, and handed the phone to Maggie, who smiled to herself right away—she had designed the layout of the list and was very pleased with it.

By the time your phone reached Jungkook, he was already squirming in his chair. As he examined the list of names, displayed in bold white letters on a black background with a crumpled paper texture that Maggie had crafted and digitalised herself, he realised that the only name he recognised was Sid’s.

He looked up. “But if you post that—that’s—isn’t it supposed to be confidential?”

“I won’t post it,” you said. “We’ll leak it.”

“Oh.” A gleam of affection suddenly sparkled in his eyes. He felt a little like he’d just met you for the first time, all over again. “Can we do that?

Maggie reached across the table, snatching your phone from Jungkook’s hand to see the picture of the list again. She scrutinised the names for a minute as if trying to uncover the social security numbers of the people listed.

“No,” you replied. “But Sid never played fair, so we’re simply levelling the playing field. The other names on the list are made up anyway. They’re generic enough to match someone on Facebook, but no one will know which person is on this list.”

“But they’ll recognise Sid,” Maggie pointed out, squinting at your phone. “Even though he’s listed as Isidore here. Right?”

“That’s him, yeah,” you confirmed. “And you’re right. Everyone will recognise Sid. We’ll leak this before he gets arrested, and anything he says after that will just be taken as blatant slander.”

Jungkook took another deep breath and glanced at your phone, which Maggie slid towards you across the table. It bumped against the corner of your empty water glass.

“Won’t there be consequences if something else leaks?” he asked, his teeth grazing his bottom lip.

“Yeah, I was thinking that, too,” you admitted. “But then, Luna texted me a brilliant idea last night.”

You gestured towards your friend, and she continued.

“It’ll be accidental,” she explained. “Maggie usually posts backstage pictures on her Instagram. She has almost as many followers as the main account of your band at this point. So, later today, she will post a new set of pictures, and this list of names will just happen to be visible in some shots. Just a coincidence, really. And then we hope that one of your fans will notice it, zoom in, catch Sid’s name, and share it.”

Jungkook looked down, nodding to himself. He realised that Sid stood little chance against the collective resolve of everyone at this table.

“They will notice it,” he said. “I don’t doubt it.”

“We’ll have to rely on them to spread this,” you added. “Even though this list isn’t really something we need to hide. It’s just, you know, sort of customary in the industry to keep your dirty laundry to yourself.”

“Alright,” Jungkook said, sensing the weight of everyone’s gaze on him. He had the feeling that everyone was waiting for his final approval to move forward with this plan. “So, uh, Maggie won’t get into trouble for posting it?”

“Hmm?” Maggie looked up from her phone at the sound of her name. “Oh. No. I’m the photographer. As long as I get good shots, I never get in trouble. And this wouldn’t be the first time I’ve taken a picture that reveals more than I intended.”

She gave you a sheepish look, and you shook your head, sensing where the guilt in her eyes stemmed from. Maggie knew that Sid was behind the chaos caused by the bathtub picture, but she still felt a gnawing sense of responsibility because she was the one who had taken the picture.

“Alright. You, uh—you guys really put a lot of thought into this,” Jungkook remarked, looking at you first, then at your friends, and finally at Minjun on his other side. “I’m, uh—I-I’m actually a little afraid of you.”

Luna and Minjun snickered—Maggie was back on her phone, but she was smiling, too—and their excitement made you feel much more optimistic.

“Good,” you said, reaching out to touch Jungkook’s hand again. He immediately turned his hand round and firmly clasped yours—to ensure you wouldn’t pull away this time. “Sid should be, too.”

A tense silence settled over the table, punctuated by the subdued conversations on the terrace.

For the first time since you arrived at the restaurant, Jungkook finally took a sip of his coffee. It tasted bitter and lukewarm. You refrained from touching yours, but accepted a bite of Luna’s tiramisu. Everyone else at the table seemed to remember simultaneously that they had ordered food when they got here.

“Uh,” Maggie spoke up after a second, still chewing on the brown crust of her bacon and egg tart. “Is this a safe space for us to voice our, uh, concerns?”

You straightened in your seat, bracing yourself before she’s even said anything. Jungkook sensed your growing anxiety and squeezed your hand.

“Of course,” you replied, keeping your voice steady.

“Okay.” Maggie swallowed and set down her fork after taking exactly one and a half bites. “Well, I’m worried that Sid will say something provocative and one of us will end up getting arrested for assault.”

There was something absurdly comical in her question—or the potential outcome it suggested—and you could see Minjun quickly lower his head to conceal his broad smile.

Jungkook, meanwhile, was extremely pleased that no one turned to look at him, the person who had, more or less, already assaulted Sid before. It comforted him to know that everyone here would have loved to smack Sid upright in the head, too.

“That’s a great point,” you said, clearing your throat. “If he provokes you—well, then you might have a legitimate reason to, uh, land a good punch. You probably wouldn’t be held in custody too long for that. There’s no premeditation, you acted on impulse because of something he said.”

Minjun raised an eyebrow at you from across the table.

“I thought our focus was drug laws,” he said. “Did you research assault, too?”

“I researched assault laws the day I met Sid,” you deadpanned.

He snorted. “Yeah, fair enough.”

“Not to mention, we can always argue it’s self-defence,” Luna added, prodding her sandwich with a toothpick as if it were a not-quite-dead bug. “Sid is very—let’s say, aggressive.”

“That’s true,” Minjun agreed. “Especially when he’s irritated.”

The energy around the table had increased considerably; everyone seemed to have something to say about possible reasons to hit Sid. Maggie was already listing five ways to throw a punch that would knock out your opponent—she had a WikiHow article open and was illustrating it with enthusiastic demonstrations on Minjun.

You realised, quite suddenly, how happy you were to sit here with your friends. They were smart and cunning enough to rob a bank, escape a prison, and start a money laundering scheme all in a week, but they chose to be sweet and loving and a little vengeful instead. You felt almost giddy.

“He wouldn’t throw the first punch, though,” Jungkook interjected with a hint of frustrated sorrow. Maggie halted her research, retracting her fist from Minjun’s cheek. “He’ll just keep running his mouth until you strike him. And he’ll make sure the provocation is very minimal.”

“Well, sure, but who at this table will attest to any of that?” Luna questioned, undeterred. “Everyone who witnessed Sid throwing the first punch, raise your hands.”

All of you raised your hands in perfect synchronisation, and Jungkook felt himself smile again.

He had never doubted the success of your plan, even if he doubted the details. But sitting here now, while all of you held your hands up, he was fully convinced that this meeting marked the beginning of the end for Sid.

“Right. Okay,” he said. “I like how this is looking.”

“Me too,” Maggie said, locking her phone and slouching in her chair. “I feel better now. Didn’t want to spend the night at the police station.”

“You wouldn’t,” Luna assured her. “We’d bail you out.”

She snickered. “That’s good to—”

Jungkook suddenly jumped up in his chair, interrupting her.

“What about Sid’s bail?” he asked urgently. “Can he—could he pay for his release?”

Everyone at the table turned to you once more. When you and Minjun did your research yesterday, your focus had quickly turned from penalties to potential loopholes that Sid might use with his money, so you understood their sudden concern.

“No,” you said. “Apparently, it doesn’t work like that here. They would give him bail automatically; he wouldn’t have to pay. But they need to charge him with a specific offence first, and they won’t know the exact charges until they know what, uh, substances he was carrying on him and keeping in his hotel room—oh, and how much. Not to mention, bail may be denied if there is a risk that he’ll commit further crimes. And we know Sid is violent. He will not sit idly in his little cell.”

“Yeah,” Minjun agreed. “We’re 95% sure he won’t be given bail.”

You nodded, grateful for his confidence.

“So, we definitely won’t be in London by the time they charge him,” Maggie concluded, frowning. She regretted not ordering whiskey instead of espresso; alcohol helped her think.

“Definitely not,” you confirmed. “Our plan concludes with Sid’s arrest, everything else is not our problem anymore. And we’re only participating in this as the staff of Rated Riot, so the only people who will have to speak to the police are those who will be present when they arrive at the venue tomorrow. So, ideally, only Luna, Mick, and me. That’s it. That’s as far as we’re getting involved.”

“Wait,” Jungkook said. He understood the need for Mick’s presence and felt comforted that you’d have someone from security with you, but now he was worried about your friend. “Why Luna?”

“We need an additional witness to observe Sid’s erratic behaviour,” Luna explained. “We thought it’d be better to have someone random, and not just your manager and head of security there.”

Jungkook kept his gaze on hers. “How do you know he’ll behave erratically?”

She gave him a look.

“Right.” He leaned back in his seat. “Good point. Okay.”

He already knew that the odds were good that Sid would try to provoke you tomorrow, but now he realised that even if Sid suddenly decided to be docile, it wouldn’t matter. The five of you were tight as a glove—Sid could sit in a corner, purring and meowing, and you would all collectively claim that he was threatening you.

Finally, Jungkook realised that he had narrowly escaped something dreadful, and he felt very grateful to find himself at this table, and not on the other side of this plan.

“I, uh—this isn’t a concern exactly,” you said after a minute. “But I have to say that a lot of this hinges on Sid trusting my word, and I’m—well, I’m not sure if he’ll care about anything I tell him.”

Minjun looked almost offended. He was the one who devised this strategy after you told him that you needed a way to quickly draw the attention of the authorities to Sid.

Why don’t you call him? Minjun had suggested. And invite him to meet you.

You had thought he’d decided to go insane right before talking to you. But you’d kept your suspicions to yourself because, ultimately, calling Sid seemed like the only option. It felt unfair, however, not to mention your doubts now.

“Actually, I agree,” Jungkook said, giving you a long look. “I’m not sure if I’m comfortable with any of that. You’ll have to be alone in a room with Sid. And we can’t be sure that he won’t—”

“Sid will care,” Minjun asserted, ignoring everything Jungkook had said. He kept his gaze on you, his certainty almost as intimidating as it was comforting. “Maybe not because he has feelings for you, but because you’re Jungkook’s girlfriend.”

Maggie looked up from her phone, surprised about the possibility of Sid having any feelings at all, and turned to Luna. The two of them finally exchanged the look that Luna had been waiting for.

“And you’re okay with doing this?” Jungkook asked you, his gaze flickering from your eyes to your lips. He was careful not to miss any hint of dishonesty.

“I’m okay if this actually works,” you said. “If Sid shows up. If we get him arrested. I’m willing to try this if you’re all sure that we’ll succeed. And I wouldn’t be all by myself anyway.”

“Yeah, don’t worry about that part,” Maggie said to Jungkook, rolling up her sleeves for emphasis. Technically, she wasn’t supposed to be at the scene tomorrow, but she felt she had a personal debt to settle with Sid, so she would find a way to interfere if she had to. “I can fight.”

Jungkook looked at her in a way that was more amused than it was skeptical—Maggie was very small in size, but very big in energy—and she tried to flex her arms to prove her point.

“I believe you,” he said, a smile breaking through his uncertainty. “I just don’t like that this will all be happening during our show. I won’t be there with you.”

“That’s just the plan,” you said. “We need to keep you away from him so that anything he says later won’t carry any weight. He’s obsessed with you and he has problems, and you’ve been distancing yourself from him for some time now. We’ll release an official statement about your, uh, separation once we’re done with him. And the leaked blacklist will back up our claims.”

A resigned acceptance clouded Jungkook’s features: he understood that this was the right decision, but he couldn’t help feeling unhappy about it. However, although he would have typically complained and whined about this—and you expected him to—now his posture was stoic.

You felt a little dispirited. You knew you wouldn’t joke around much today, but Jungkook’s unusually serious demeanour emphasised the gravity of the situation even more.

“Okay,” Minjun said. “Any other concerns?”

You shifted your gaze to him.

“Actually, I have another one,” you said. “I’m also worried about how this will affect your parents.”

The two girls beside you exchanged another glance—you hadn’t explained Minjun’s family’s dependence on Sid’s mother yet.

“If Sid’s in prison?” Minjun asked, unperturbed. “Well, their stocks will probably drop, so it will be weird to throw a party. I think we’ll celebrate quietly.”

You glanced at Jungkook, and he met your eye with an amused grin.

“You sure you’re okay with this?” he asked Minjun then.

“Are you kidding?” Minjun looked optimistic and upbeat. He seemed ready to take on the world, and locking up Sid was just the first step. “We should have done this years ago.”

Maggie suddenly slammed her palm on the table, forcing everyone’s coffee cups to rattle against the plates.

“That’s what I’m talking about!” she exclaimed, and her excitement quickly spread to the rest of the table.

“I agree,” Luna added, much quieter. “But maybe it’s time we headed out. The people at the next table are whispering and, uh, pointing at Jungkook.”

Jungkook raised his eyebrows and turned to you instead of looking around, his expression filled with a shocked wonder. He had only been recognised in public a handful of times since Rated Riot started out, and each instance had left an indelible mark on him.

You gave him a smile and a nod that spurred him out of his chair and towards the people at the neighbouring table, all of whom held their breaths when he stood up.

You glanced back at your friends—all smiling as they watched Jungkook introduce himself and singlehandedly cut off the air supply of four different people—and you thought about how wonderful it would have been if you had met Maggie and Luna earlier. If Jungkook and Minjun had stopped entertaining Sid’s whims sooner. If you and Jungkook had never broken up at all.

Perhaps, you thought, there was an alternative universe where you’d known and loved these people your whole life. You felt very close to that universe now.

Just as you finished your breakfast—where the five of you consumed one cup of coffee and half a slice of tiramisu in total—you executed the first step of your plan and sent a text message to Sid. It was innocuous, just a conversational, “are you ever going to stop doing this?” but it was meant to serve as a subtle precursor—so as not to approach him out of the blue tomorrow.

Then, as the five of you exited the restaurant, Maggie got enthralled by the most gracious little corgi sitting at a table, and dragged Luna and Minjun (who looked like he was not sure what was happening) back inside to ask for pictures. You and Jungkook opted for a scenic route back to the hotel instead.

Although the day was overcast, the sky did not look particularly ominous, offering instead an unexpected serenity that you thought you could use to clear your thoughts.

Interestingly, fresh air was not what you really needed at all. It was his hand holding yours as you strolled past extravagant hotels and expensive restaurants near Hyde Park, weaving through crowds of rushing tourists and cranky locals.

You felt significantly lighter with your hand in his, but Jungkook still appeared troubled. The shadows on his face were far more pronounced than those in the sky.

“What’s on your mind?” you asked.

He let out a weary sigh as he met your gaze. He seemed overwhelmed—as though his head was trying very hard to grow twice as large to contain all his thoughts, while the rest of his body fought desperately to resist the growth.

“I—well, I didn’t want to say this in front of everyone,” he started slowly, “but I’m worried about you.”

“Me?” You frowned. “Wh—because of Sid?”

“Because you’re doing all of this on top of your other responsibilities,” he said. “I don’t want you to burn out.”

Your expression visibly softened, but dark edges of guilt still coated the appreciation in your eyes. You felt disappointed in yourself—for letting it get so far that, over a week later, Jungkook still sometimes looked at you as though you might faint any second.

“That won’t happen,” you replied, your tone gentle, but determined. “I promise. And I’m not alone. I have so much help. And this won’t—it’s just a few days. We deal with it tomorrow, and it’s over.”

“Okay. But what if it’s not?” he questioned then. “We’re heading to Paris right after we, potentially, deal with Sid. And what if it doesn’t work, and we’re not here to fix it?”

You had to admit, this same possibility had been weighing on your mind ever since Jude first mentioned the bags of drugs in Sid’s hotel room. However, as soon as you saw Jungkook’s solemn features, you found yourself resisting all these worries. You would figure it out, no matter what happened, just so he wouldn’t have to worry about it anymore.

You shrugged nonchalantly. “Then it won’t work.”

“He’ll be furious,” Jungkook said. “Even more vindictive than before.”

“I know,” you replied. “But no matter what he decides to do, we won’t back down, either.”

Jungkook frowned so deeply that several new wrinkles declared permanent residence between his brows. He dreaded the idea of spending a lifetime seeking revenge.

You sensed the reason for his apprehension—you wanted this over quickly, too—and instinctively squeezed his hand.

“I’m with you,” you said, reaching for your phone to check if Sid had reacted to your text. “And I told you, I’m not entirely convinced that this will work, either. I mean, here, look. Sid hasn’t replied. But if this plan falls through, we’ll come up with something else. Maybe something—well, less grand.”

He glanced at your phone, toying with his lip ring between his teeth. The prospect of failure felt more daunting with each second that Sid remained free to do whatever he pleased.

Jungkook didn’t want to do something else. He wanted this to work.

“Maybe he hasn’t replied because Jude deleted everything,” he suggested, searching for a plausible explanation that aligned with your plan. “Including the texts.”

“No, that’s tomorrow,” you reminded him. He groaned. “We need—Sid needs to notice my texts first. Then we delete them. I’ll use a disposable SIM card tomorrow, so there’s no trace that I ever contacted him.”

Jungkook felt like his head had already grown far too large for his body. He was a bit unsteady on his feet and clutched your hand tighter.

“Right,” he said. “Okay. That—yeah, no.” He lifted your intertwined hands to scratch something at his forehead. “My head is spinning. I can’t remember that much.”

You gave him a sympathetic nod. “That’s fine.”

“I’m not saying that I’d be too dumb to follow a plan like this,” he felt the need to insist.

“I didn’t think that.”

“I’m just saying,” he continued. “There’s a lot.”

You nodded in exaggerated agreement again. “Mhmm.”

His eagerness to prove his intelligence to you was very endearing. But it was a little funny, too, and Jungkook stopped walking to study your expression more closely. After a moment, he came to an appalling conclusion.

“You think I’m dumb,” he said.

A wide smile finally broke out on your face. “I think you’re very pretty.”

“Very pr—okay.” His expression shifted as you laughed, pulling on his hand to continue walking after an elderly couple gave you a rather well-deserved disapproving look for blocking their path. “Pretty and dumb. Is that your type?”

“It is,” you said, grinning. “That’s why you’re the only boyfriend I’ve had.”

He raised his eyebrows and scoffed. “Oh—wow. Wow. I am both very flattered and very offended.”

You chuckled, gently pushing his shoulder with yours. Jungkook shook his head and finally smiled, too. But right as he prepared to say something else, he ended up having to quickly yank your hand, pulling you into him and out of the way of an oncoming bicycle.

“Shit,” you were breathless against his chest as the bike drove past, your hair whipping forcefully in the wind, “thank you.”

“Pretty and dumb,” he said, allowing you to take a step away from him now that the danger has passed, “but with great reflexes, huh?”

You laughed again, leaning into him when you did and successfully dissolving everything sharp and uncomfortable in his chest.

“I know you’re not dumb,” you said. “And let’s be realistic: Minjun and I had been simmering in the details of this plan for days. You just barely learned about it a few hours ago. We’ve got this. I wanted you to know what we’ll do, but I don’t want you to be involved at all.”

“Yeah. I—no, I just…” he faltered, weighing his next words. The thought of everything that would happen tomorrow made his stomach feel very heavy. “I feel like you’re trying to protect me from Sid by keeping me out of this, and I’m—I don’t know how that makes me feel.”

“We’re not just keeping you out, we’re keeping the whole band out,” you said. “I want to protect all four of you. And if anything, you’re the only member who isn’t entirely excluded. Does that… make it any better?”

Jungkook considered this for a moment.

“Not sure,” he said. “Because I’m still not participating.”

Exhaling softly, you looked around, searching for a quiet spot on the pavement where the two of you could step away from the crowd. Nearby, there were two traditional phone booths that tourists were gathered around, obstructing your view. Once you passed them, you noticed a parking meter right by the park gate that everyone seemed to avoid. You decided to pause there.

Jungkook glanced around before stopping in front of you, slightly unsettled by the large, dark green hedge covering the park fence, and all the bugs that emerged from it—bees, mostly. They all seemed very curious about him.

“Okay, look at it this way,” you began. “Sid has known you and Minjun since you were kids. He knows all your weak points. He can predict exactly how you and Minjun will react in any situation. Sure, you took him off guard when you gave up your Katana, but he can still read you very well. He doesn’t have that luxury with me, Luna, or Maggie. He’s less certain about our reactions. Who else could do this if not us?”

“Right,” Jungkook murmured. “But you’re still going out of your way for me, and I feel—”

“And why wouldn’t I?” you interrupted. “I love you.”

He thought he died for just a second and it felt surprisingly nice: he could feel something soft and warm against his skin—the phantom shivers of every time you’ve touched him before—and he could taste a sweet, lingering flavour on his tongue—from every time he felt your mouth against his own.

He would never tire of hearing you say you loved him. The only downside was that his chest usually attempted to collapse in on itself right after that, leaving him speechless for anywhere from a minute to several days.

“Not to mention,” you continued while Jungkook fought against the haze in his mind and the bumblebees around his neck. “Sid has long stopped at just you. With the videos and pictures he’s sending you, he’s threatening everyone on this tour. Anything that affects your reputation, affects the band and the staff, too. So, when you look at it like that, we’re really doing this for everyone.”

Finally, Jungkook managed to stop his thoughts from pulling him in every direction and anchored himself to this pavement right here—with you, and the persistent bugs, and the chattering of people as they walked past you.

He squeezed your hand that he had not let go—not now, and probably not ever, really—and exhaled.

“Yeah, I get that,” he said. “But I was the one who brought him here, and that’s—I guess that’s what’s bothering me right now.”

“You did bring him here,” you agreed.

“I—oh.” He looked up, his eyebrows knitting together. He had expected something else. An ‘I told you that was a shit decision’ or a sarcastic ‘yeah, and thanks for that’—but your kind expression did not change. “Y-yeah. I did.”

“But we’ll get him out,” you said.

Jungkook held your hand and observed you, trying to process this while simultaneously trying to figure out what was it about him that attracted these British bees to him so much. It couldn’t be his cologne, because you loved him far more than he’d allowed himself to believe. It couldn’t be his clothes, either, because you were looking at him like you believed anything was possible in this world, and he thought it really was.

He realised that to you, he must have appeared as if he were struggling to interpret prehistoric cave wall paintings, and this process was causing him immense pain. He cleared his throat.

“You don’t blame me?” he asked.

“For making a stupid decision?” you replied, and shrugged your shoulders after he nodded. “Wouldn’t be the first time.”

He pressed his lips together, his expression a mixture of incredulity and pure delight.

“Okay,” he said. “Sure.”

You were smiling again, and he was a little too proud to admit how much your loving eyes and your great mood soothed his anxiety.

“And what would I gain from punishing you?” you added. “You’ve already seen through Sid. You’ve had enough. You learned your lesson. You’re good.”

Jungkook felt his chest swell as though he’d swallowed the swarms of bees around him, and now they’ve built a cosy little home right on the hills of his heart.

“You think so?” he asked, his eyes glistening.

“Why do you look so excited?” you countered. “Do you have more dickhead friends I haven’t met yet?”

He chuckled, waving his hand around his face. “Can I answer that inside the park? I’m afraid these bees are in love with me.”

You had already noticed his struggle with the bees—it was hard not to, one was perched right on his shoulder—and you found your own apparent immunity to this new bee predicament especially entertaining.

“Want me to fight them for you?” you suggested.

“Oh, in a battle of who loves me more?” he quipped, swatting vigorously at three stubborn bees that were particularly intrigued in his eyes.

“Yeah,” you said. “We’ll all sting you at the same time, and whoever dies first, wins.”

He snorted. “These are bumblebees. They don’t die after they sting.”

“Oh, so maybe we should just stay here,” you teased. “You all seem to know quite a bit about each other already.”

He squinted at you, a smirk playing on his lips. “Are you jealous I’ve grown so close to these bees?”

“Of course. They’re all over you.”

“I’d rather have you all over—”

“Public park!” you interjected hastily, cutting him off.

His laughter in response was unapologetic and infectious—you found yourself shaking your head to suppress a treacherous smile.

“Did you also research public indecency laws?” he asked, turning past the menacing, bee-infested hedge.

You followed him through the gates into the park, your fingers intertwined with his. The clouds above had thickened, and the wind had picked up, but there was nothing about this afternoon that Jungkook did not enjoy.

“Actually, I did,” you replied. “Because of that stunt you pulled in New York last year.”

Recognition flashed in his eyes for just a fleeting moment before he pursed his lips, distancing himself from the memory. A gentle breeze swept through the park, rustling leaves and carrying the scent of damp earth; it would rain soon.

“I don’t remember,” he declared.

“Really?” you responded wryly. You both knew very well that he remembered. “Nothing familiar to you about the busking that turned into half-naked dancing in the middle of the street?”

“Nope,” he said. “Doesn’t ring a bell.”

“There was a lot more grinding than actual dancing, now that I think about it,” you pressed on. You noticed, through your peripherals, the way he scrunched his nose and furrowed his brows, evidently despising the memory he claimed he did not have. “Someone had drawn a crown of thorns on your forehead. You had a—sort of a cloth wrapped around your waist, and nothing else. Almost everyone on the face of the earth accused you of being in a sex cult after those pictures came out.”

“I don’t know anything about that,” he insisted. “They must have confused me with someone else.”

“Sure. They must have,” you relented, pouting your lips in mock-sympathy. “There are plenty of people in sex cults out there.”

“Exactly,” he replied, finally meeting your eyes.

Something about you bringing up this incident—“incidents” were a prominent category of his actions in his mind—reminded him of the videos Sid had sent him. However, with you, the feelings in his chest were vastly different.

You were playful. Lighthearted. Your love language was teasing the hell out of him.

Sid was venomous. Arrogant. Vile. His intentions were humiliation and destruction.

You were joking about a matter for which Jungkook undoubtedly owed you another apology. He could tell that you knew he would apologise eventually, but you were hoping—with every jest, every tender smile, every affectionate bite you sent his way—that he would not plunge himself into self-loathing again.

He wouldn’t. He had matured significantly since the day under discussion. He knew he had, even if it was easy to forget.

“I’m surprised how well you remember all that, actually,” he commented. “Are you secretly into sexual rituals?”

Your scoff returned his smile to his face.

“Oh, absolutely,” you said. “I keep a picture of you from that day on my desk at home. I look at it every night before I fall asleep.”

Jungkook kicked a few dry, scattered leaves on the pavement. When he glanced back at you, his grin bordered on ridiculous.

“I am aware that you’re trying to mock me right now,” he said, “but I feel obligated to inform you that I’m taking absolutely everything you say as a compliment.”

You nodded sagely. “I would expect nothing less from you.”

“Good,” he replied. “Please tell me more about how you look at pictures of me before you fall asleep every night.”

You tsked reproachfully at his grin.

“I take back what I said about you being smart,” you said. “You are the biggest idiot I’ve met.”

“Oh,” his face was jubilant, “but that just means you love me that much more, right?”

You let out a deep sigh. “I’m afraid so.”

He felt the swarms of bees in his chest, and they were buzzing incessantly—eager, restless, and yearning. They took every emotion he felt and spread them across his skin.

“I knew it,” he said, delighted by the look on your face. You were so captivating when you were trying to resist smiling; it was why he never stopped teasing you. “This must be awful for you.”

“Mmhm. It is,” you said. “You’re like a disease.”

He nodded, attempting a formal tone. “How bad is it?”

“Chronic and untreatable, I’m afraid.”

“Oh, I am so sorry to hear that.”

“Yeah, thank you.”

A deep, vibrant laughter finally erupted from his chest, and he stopped walking. Tugging on your linked hands, he drew you closer and wrapped his arms around your waist before you could say another word.

“I love you so much, you know that?” he whispered, his voice low against your neck. “It’s not even funny how much.”

He rocked gently on his feet with you in his arms, and you could not tell if the vibrations you felt came from his chest or yours.

“More than the bees love you?” you asked, your hands sliding over his shoulders.

“Much more than the bees love me.”

“Oh, must be quite a lot, then.”

“It is,” he said, chuckling hopelessly. “It really fucking is.”

He tightened his already firm grip until he felt your deep exhale against the side of his neck. He held you and his heartbeat chased after yours while the bustling crowds, the rustling leaves, and the solemn park benches whispered incomprehensibly around you, their frustration about your public affection lost on you.

When he pulled away a minute—or ten—later, he realised that his cologne had brushed off on you. There was something wildly intoxicating about you smelling exactly like him, and he needed a minute to make the park stop spinning.

“I, um—” he started to say, but his voice broke. He cleared his throat, took your hand in his to continue down the park, and tried again. “Jokes aside, I feel—I really appreciate what you do for me. What you’re doing to fix my shit right now, and what you—what you’ve always done to fix my shit. I don’t say that enough. Thank you. For taking care of Sid, too.”

You shook your head. You knew you couldn’t tackle Sid alone—probably no one could.

“This is a team effort,” you replied. “If this works, you can bake us all a cake later.”

Jungkook no longer had even half of a doubt that this would work, one way or the other. And if he’d stayed with you longer, he would have easily started to believe that Rated Riot would be elected presidents, too—one after the other.

“I’m not much of a baker,” he said.

“I’ll help,” you offered.

“Your help,” he responded, his smile turning mischievous, “usually consists of walking around, eating chocolate sprinkles, and distracting me.”

It was your turn to look offended.

“I’m the only one who remembers how many eggs the recipe needs,” you retorted, dignified. “How do I distract you?”

“How can I remember the eggs when you’re dancing and singing around me?” he countered.

He noticed the way your chin quivered as you fought to maintain a serious expression.

“Well, that’s on you,” you said. “Any skilled chef knows to keep their staff busy so they wouldn’t have time to sing and dance. Also, don’t play good songs when we’re in the kitchen.”

“Alright, we’ll bake in silence,” he decided. “And you’ll do everything while I sit and order you around.”

The corners of your lips finally curled into a smirk.

“That’s interesting,” you said, your thumb lightly brushing over his as he swayed your hands. “Switching up the dynamics.”

He glanced at you out of the corner of his eye, very intrigued by the insinuation in your words. “You want me to order you around?”

“I mean…” You shrugged. “I’d like to see you try.”

He stopped walking suddenly, right in the midst of a group of senior ladies, forcing a few of them to gasp and walk around him with very exaggerated expressions of disbelief as though they’d never felt more wronged (there were a few obligatory comments about “kids these days,” too, of course).

Jungkook, undeterred, took a step to the right until he was standing in front of you.

“Kiss me,” he said.

The demand in his tone caught you off guard, but you tried to blink away your surprise. “I didn’t mean right now—”

“Kiss me,” he repeated more assertively.

You felt your stomach lighten and go for a little float inside you, like a loose helium-filled balloon.

“We are in the middle of a busy park,” you said, looking around. “We’re blocking—”

“Kiss me,” he interrupted again, his voice firm but lively, “or I won’t move.”

You poked the inside of your cheek with your tongue, torn between amusement and apprehension as you battled his self-assured grin, while passersby shot disapproving glances at the two of you.

“See, there’s ordering people around,” you said, “and there’s acting like a three-year-old.”

He simply shrugged, relentless. “I see no difference.”

“Do I sound like a toddler when I tell you to do things?”

“Sometimes.”

His satisfied grin only gained prominence when you scoffed and looked away, rolling your eyes.

You questioned, sometimes, how you managed to put up with him for so long. But then you also questioned, much more often, how you’d survived without him at all.

“If I were a teacher,” you said, “you’d be in detention for disrupting everyone’s day.”

“Oh! And what would I have to do?” he teased, mischief gleaming proudly in his eyes. “Write an essay on the importance of respecting authority?”

“That might do you good, actually,” you retorted. “Maybe you should consider writing it anyway.”

He shrugged his shoulders and cocked his head to the side. “Kiss me and I’ll do it.”

He looked so utterly unfazed that you did feel very compelled to lay your hands on him and do something.

He might have been one of the most exasperating people you’ve met in your life, always ready to say something cheeky no matter what you told him, always causing trouble wherever he went, never letting you breathe in peace for just one second.

You were outrageously grateful to have found him.

“People are staring at us,” you said, but there was no conviction in your voice. “We look like idiots.”

Jungkook admired your cautiousness, but he wanted you to let go of it. People would always stare; he just wanted you to kiss him.

“They’re staring because you’re defying authority,” he countered easily.

“Jungkook, just—”

“Oh, see?” he cut in, his tone triumphant. “Maybe you should be the one to write that essay.”

You groaned very demonstratively, but he saw the corners of your lips lift. Finally, you took a small step towards him and pressed your lips to his in a quick peck. He pulled you into him just as you attempted to pull away, and kissed you properly.

At last, the crowds disappeared, allowing you to dissolve in the warmth of his lips and come back to life with all the shivers that ran down your spine when he touched the back of your neck. You felt his smile and felt your own, too, when he brought his tongue over yours, deepening the kiss.

“You are insufferable,” you managed to mumble between kisses, and the affection in your voice was impossible to mistake for something else.

“I love you,” he whispered in response, each word sweet and sugary against your lips.

You kissed him once more—to soothe your racing heart—and then once more again—to soothe his—before you pulled away, whispering back, “I love you.”

Jungkook only managed half of a pleased “I—” before he felt a few soft, cold droplets land on his forehead and both of his cheeks. He raised his head.

“Is it me, or is it—”

“Yeah,” you confirmed, looking up at the angry clouds. “It’s raining.”

“Do you—should we go inside?” he asked, looking around.

There was no specific “inside” anywhere close to the two of you, but you looked at him again and spotted something at the very edge of the park behind him, right across a busy bike lane.

“There’s a little gazebo over there,” you suggested, pointing.

Jungkook turned around and seemed to have an epiphany when he noticed the crooked structure.

“In the—in the park,” he mumbled to himself, feeling a little weak in the knees. He took your hand in his again. “Let’s go.”

He led you straight into the bicycle traffic as he crossed the road, causing a commotion and undoubtedly endangering everyone’s lives—and not even realising it in his eagerness to get to the gazebo. You attempted to raise your hand in apology to the cyclists, but quickly realised that the smile on your face likely made the gesture seem mocking.

It occurred to you that you and Jungkook were being very disruptive today, very annoying, very much in everyone’s faces about your relationship. And you realised, as he pulled you past the groups of people running from the rain, that you did not actually mind this all that much. Or at all.

There was a certain beauty in the unapologetic way that people in love behaved in public—grinning at their phones, kissing at bus stops, holding hands on narrow streets barely wide enough for one person. Running across the park in the rain and stumbling into every puddle possible.

When you and Jungkook finally reached the gazebo, you were both drenched and breathless. And you realised, belatedly, that it was not a suitable shelter at all: there were no railings or benches, the roof was not only crooked, but obviously decaying, and the rain splattered you if you got too close to the edge.

But you’d been here before: caught in the rain on your way to the restaurant for your first date seven years ago, seeking refuge under a much sturdier roof of a similar gazebo in an empty park, while the vividly green trees—almost a rarity so late in September—whispered wearily from the heavy rain on their leaves.

You’d been here before, and you did not want to go anywhere else.

“I’m starting to think,” you began, “that there’s something about us that attracts rain.”

Jungkook was thinking this very thought and laughed so heartily that the rain stopped for just a second, shamed into silence by a sound far more charming than the eager pitter-patter against the roof.

“You think we could make some money out of it?” he joked, his eyes energetic. “Maybe add a little performance to it? Rain dance?”

“We might have accidentally performed one already,” you said, stepping closer to the edge of the gazebo to watch the raindrops splash against the damp ground.

“You’re right,” he agreed, taking your hand in his and guiding you to face him. “Let me see.”

He brought your hand to his chest and you watched, puzzled, as he closed his eyes and pretended to concentrate very hard on the sounds around him. People across the street screeched as they ran from the rain. A stubborn gull was screeching in the exact same way somewhere overhead.

Jungkook clutched your hand tighter and hummed. He was joking, clearly putting up a show, but you heard the faint sound of distant thunder, and the joy on his face turned luminous.

“I knew it!” he exclaimed as you laughed, and the rain, encouraged by your approval, began to pour even harder.

You watched him revel in this delightful coincidence—or an elusive sign—and allowed his radiant smile to bring back the memories that you had locked away in a box you didn’t dare touch unless you were half-asleep.

It had been raining on your first date seven years ago, but it had also been raining when he suggested that date. You’d felt invincible then, the only one staying dry in the whole world, as you nearly sprinted home from the party where he’d asked you out. You stumbled over the threshold of your dorm room, your shoes wet and slippery, and landed on your knees, shouting the news to your roommate, who was startled out of bed by your loud entrance.

This was the beginning of the happiness you’d felt almost every day since then. But this happiness came with a price: you would come to class and you could not rest, could not find it in yourself to calm down, until Jungkook arrived and took his usual seat behind you. You wouldn’t even have to look, you’d always know he had come because you’d feel a sudden sense of peace—and then you’d lock eyes with him across the room.

For years after this, even today, when you tried to find a period of your life where you’d felt the happiest, these were the moments that your mind returned to.

“What are you thinking?” Jungkook asked, brushing a damp strand of hair from your cheek and bringing your focus back to the rainy moment with his touch.

“It—it’s been seven years and now we’re back in the rain,” you replied, distracted by the lingering echo of the years that have passed outside this gazebo. “Nothing’s changed.”

A faint smile danced on his lips.

“Yeah. Nothing important has,” he agreed. “I still love you.”

You met his gaze, a little thrown off. “W-what do you mean, still? That was our first date seven years ago.”

“Yeah,” he said, raising his eyebrows at the confusion on your face. “Oh, did you think I asked you out right after I saw you? No, no. I spent a whole year absolutely fucking pining after you before I finally mustered the courage to ask you out.”

You assumed he might have liked you a little, based on the way he’d introduced himself to you. But you obviously didn’t know about his alleged year-long pining that preceded your first date. And you weren’t sure if you wanted to believe him, given your own year-long pining. It made little sense for the two of you to like each other for so long and not do anything about it.

On the other hand, considering the past few years, perhaps it made perfect sense.

Your heartbeat had sped up, so you argued childishly, “no, you didn’t.”

“I did. Ask anyone,” he said, grinning. He wasn’t as embarrassed about this as he used to be—and your surprise made it easier for him to admit everything. “I never knew how to love you quietly. But it still took me ages to talk to you even with everyone’s encouragement. And that, uh—our first conversation didn’t go very well.”

“Wait—what do you mean? It went very well,” you disagreed. “I remember everything you said word for word. ‘We have Sociology together, I saw you sleeping in class, very cute by the way, the professor does not know how to shut up, have you seen that new Studio Ghibli film, I recently watched their classic with some friends, My Neighbour Jungkook, I’m Totoro by the way, I thought maybe—wait—no—’”

He interrupted you once your smile had grown dangerously wide. “Don’t you dare make fun of me.”

“I would never!” you said through laughter. “I think I knew I was in it for life the moment you said all that.”

He had to look down because the bees inside him had multiplied, spreading rapidly to his head and his lungs and his stomach, and he was a little concerned that he’d start buzzing, too.

“Not one period, nothing,” you continued, a melancholic haze in your eyes. “Just commas and an endless stream of thought. You could have asked me to bury a body, I would have said yes.”

He smiled, but everything inside of him was turning upside down, returning to normal, then turning downside up.

Every time he remembered how he approached you seven years ago, he either felt a little uncomfortable or completely mortified. He’d never thought you’d remember that day so well and with such fondness.

“By the way,” you added when he did not speak, “you did look a little like you were about to confess to accidentally murdering my roommate when you started to speak.”

This finally made him chuckle, and he felt his skin thaw from the frozen state of amazement. He remembered hoping that you’d forget all about what he’d said that day. Now he realised he had never felt more thrilled that you remembered.

“I know,” he said. “I was shaking.”

“Yeah. I, um—” you trailed off, needing another minute. “I had a crush on you, too, actually. For a long while.”

His smile faded, replaced by a look of criminal disbelief. “You did not.”

You recognised your own suspicion in his words and smiled. However, unlike Jungkook, who owned up to his stressful pining and memorable first impression, you did not feel ready to confess to your silent sulking quite as easily.

“I did,” you said. “But you turned away every time I looked at you on campus, so I thought, oh, okay. That guy hates me for some reason. Nevermind.”

“I didn—I never—”

“I actually made a playlist before we met,” you added quickly before you could change your mind. “And I, uh, kept updating it throughout our relationship.”

You did not look at him when you said this, so you missed the befuddled look on his face.

“A pl—you made a playlist?” he repeated, his thoughts momentarily derailed. He couldn’t even hear the rain anymore. “And you never told me?”

“And I will continue to act like you don’t know about it,” you said.

He was too ecstatic to care. He hadn’t dared to imagine that he would have such a strong presence in your thoughts that you would create a playlist about him—for him? (he thought he might faint)—before you even met.

“No, b-but I’m supposed to be the one making grand gestures in our relationship, and you have a playlist about me? Ab-about us?” he questioned, almost frantic. “Is it—well, what songs are in it? About our relationship?”

You tried to put your words together, your slow, calculated breaths a stark contrast against his passionate energy. Another clap of thunder, unusually intense, rumbled in the sky.

“Sort of,” you finally answered. You thought that a playlist did not come anywhere close to everything he’d done and attempted to do for you, but you still struggled to articulate yourself. “Or songs that we both liked. Songs that we listened to together. Songs that we discovered on roadtrips—just, uh, stuff like that.”

He shook his head, every part of his skin itching with an unfathomable urge to hear these songs.

“You have to let me listen to it,” he stated.

“No,” you said, giving a determined shake of your head. “It’s enough that you know it exists.”

“I will absolutely never shut up about this,” he retorted, gesturing with his hands to emphasise his commitment to being annoying, “and I might end up telling more people.”

“I will kill you if I have to,” you warned.

“So I will haunt you, then,” he returned. “Is it on Spotify?”

You narrowed your eyes. “It’s private.”

“I am not above pulling a Sid and stealing your phone,” he said, resolute.

You snorted despite yourself.

“Okay. Fine,” you said. “Maybe I’ll give you the link after.”

Jungkook waited for further clarification, but you decided you’d said enough.

He was confused. He no longer had any clear delineations of time in his life—ever since he found you again, his whole life had shifted to “after.”

“After—after Sid?” he asked.

“After everything,” you replied, unintentionally ominous as your gaze wandered to the fragmented reflections of the clouds on the rain-soaked pavement. “After we leave London. After we deal with the label. After it stops fucking raining every time we go out together.”

Jungkook thought he could already see these things: the Parisian streets after you’ve left Sid in London, the peace after you’ve told the label about your relationship, the sun in the sky after the rain lost its courage to threaten you again.

“Okay,” he relented, his features softening. “I’ll hold you to it.”

Your lips curved into a gentle smile. “I know you will.”

He hummed, stepping on a loose floorboard with the edge of his boot.

“Now, then,” he said, “tell me about this crush you supposedly had on me.”

“It was a crush,” you insisted, your voice growing more fervent right away.

Jungkook smiled but tried to remain collected. He had decided it was better for his sanity not to believe you.

“I liked you ever since I saw you at that first freshman party,” you continued and he realised that he was absolutely, without a doubt not collected at all. “I spent that entire night scrolling through the list of people invited to this event on Facebook until I found your profile. But I didn’t dare to send you a friend request, because—well, you know. We hadn’t talked or anything. I thought maybe you’re not interested.”

He thought his heart might stop because this freshman event was where he first saw you—and for every waking and sleeping moment since then, he had been interested.

“I noticed you around campus after that,” you continued. “And I would have talked to you first, I think. If you hadn’t looked like you dreamed of my violent death every time you met my eye.”

He groaned, rubbing his eyes with the pillows of his palms.

“Well, obviously, I liked you too much to look at you and not glare,” he said, even though none of that was obvious. “I actually thought I developed some sort of an allergy right when I first saw you.”

You raised your eyebrows. “An allergy?”

“Yeah. Shortness of breath, just feeling hot all over, sweating profusely,” he elaborated, moving his hands away from his face to reveal his faint, nostalgic smile. “That had never happened to me before. It was either the dust in the room or you. And there wasn’t a lot of dust.”

You pursed your lips before your cheeks could stretch any further.

“I don’t know,” you teased, “they don’t clean the building that well.”

“It was you,” he stated firmly. “Got my breath catching in my throat. Gave me butterflies, made my heart race—made me feel all the things that people write embarrassing bubblegum pop songs about.”

You looked down to collect yourself before all the signals that your heart was sending to your brain could reflect on your face.

“Catchy songs, though,” you murmured.

“Catchy, sure,” he agreed, his tone wistful. “Until all those things they sing about happen to you, and you feel like you’re drowning.”

You felt a little like you might drown just now as your heart pounded in your chest, angry at you for another wasted year.

“I’m really happy we finally ended up together,” he said. “Seven years ago, and today.”

You finally looked up at him and remembered all the times when you used to worry that you had already lived through your happiest moments, and any little joy you’d come across later would pale in comparison. You knew better now.

Jungkook was your happiest moment, and he was right here. He’d always been right here.

“I love you,” you said, a little suffocated by the overwhelming warmth in your chest. “I’ve loved you every day for all these years.”

He was smiling so widely that his lip ring dug into his stretched lips. He reached out to caress your cheek, resting his palm on the side of your face for a moment, his eyes bright and glittering.

He kissed you slowly, his bottom lip lingering between your lips while the rain washed the noise of the city away. He tasted love and longing on your tongue, and he had never in his life wished for the sunshine to stay away longer.

The rain listened. It had become a fundamental part of your present and a prophet of your future: the two of you were going to spend the rest of your lives listening to the rain and falling in love.

Since Rated Riot had a day off and the other members let you know where they were by bickering continuously in the groupchat, you and Jungkook locked yourselves in his hotel room when you returned.

You changed into dry clothes first, and then noticed that Sid still hadn’t replied to your text. In case he really hadn’t received it, you sent another one—with just question marks—hoping that he’d interpret your repeated messages as a sign of your desperation to talk to him.

You put your phone away and climbed back into bed. The sun had already set outside the window, casting faint, elongated shadows around you in the room. You and Jungkook listened to the music playing on his phone and returned to the snacks he had bought for your film night a few days earlier.

As the song switched to the latest Bad Omens collaboration, you closed your eyes to nod along, and he reached over to snatch a chocolate-covered cherry bonbon from you, causing a spark of static electricity to pass between you.

“Sorry,” he said, chuckling after he heard you gasp. “It’s from the bees, I think. They must have somehow electrified me.”

“Yeah, that’s definitely something that bees can do,” you played along, sitting up on the bed and unwrapping another candy for him. “Maybe you should take an ice bath to avoid these after-effects.”

He accepted the candy with a grin. “No. I like shocking you when I touch you.”

To be fair, he didn’t need bees or electricity for that—but you decided not to point that out.

You realised how much peace you felt here: listening to music and eating sweets with him across the bed from you. You didn’t think there was anything you still needed in life. Watching him close his eyes as the chocolate melted on his tongue, and hearing him hum with childlike delight as he swallowed, filled an emptiness inside of you that nothing—no trips abroad, no late-night drinks, no shopping sessions—could have filled.

This random moment in his hotel room was nothing at all, yet it was everything.

Suddenly, your phone buzzed, startling you both.

“Sid?” Jungkook asked eagerly, letting the remaining chocolate melt slowly on his fingers while you reached for your phone.

“No,” you replied, checking the screen. “It’s Maggie. She just posted the backstage pictures with our list.”

His expression tightened. “Oh.”

“There’s nothing from Sid,” you added.

Jungkook finally popped the rest of the candy into his mouth. He decided—quite abruptly—that he’s had enough discussions about Sid and everything you’ve been through because of him.

“You know what we should do?” he asked, licking the remnants of the chocolate off his fingers. “We should go to the sea after the tour ends.”

“Oh—we—yeah?” you asked, stumbling over your words. You thought it was very unfair of him to ask you this while running his tongue over his fingers all in the same breath. “We—but we don’t know when that’ll be.”

“Whenever,” he said with a shrug. “Let’s go.”

It took you half of a second to say “okay,” and he didn’t think he’d ever learn how to stop his heart from soaring every time your agreement came so quickly, so easily.

To be honest, you didn’t know why he even asked. It was fairly clear that there weren’t many instances where you would have refused him.

However, your response still painted his features with every warm hue in existence, and he settled back on the bed, resting his head on the pillows and closing his eyes. As you watched him, you were forced to acknowledge one more time that witnessing him like this should have required an admission ticket—and a sign reading, “do not touch the exhibit.”

“I feel like I have everything,” he said, unknowingly echoing every sentiment you felt. “I don’t even care if Sid replies to you and if our plan works.”

You leaned against the pillows on the other side of the bed and turned to your side to face him. “Yeah?”

“Mmhmm,” he replied, a melodious hum in his tone. He opened his eyes to meet yours and placed his hand on the pillow beneath his head. “We’re—you’re here with me. The tour is going well, it’s—that’s it. That’s my whole dream.”

He looked beautiful in an almost devastating way. He looked like every extravagant adjective that sounded made-up when you encountered it in writing for the first time: transfixing. Beguiling. Effulgent. Pulchritudinous.

You really wanted to touch the exhibit.

“Do you know how we formed Rated Riot?” he asked suddenly, distracting you.

You raised your eyebrows, then turned your gaze away. Jungkook realised you probably didn’t understand where his question had come from, but you didn’t ask him anything, so he did not explain.

Truthfully, you did not know the complete story behind how Rated Riot got together. You only knew what each of the boys was doing when they first met.

“I don’t know much,” you admitted. “I know that Hoseok kicked things off.”

“Yeah.” Jungkook nodded, then stopped. “Or maybe Namjoon, actually? Because Namjoon saw Hoseok at some gig that he went to. When he asked about his band, Hoseok gave him, like, fifteen business cards. But even though he filled in for all these bands, it was still only maybe one gig per week. That’s nothing. So, Namjoon told him he’s too talented for that shit. He said he needed his own band.”

You recalled Yoongi mentioning that Namjoon was the first producer that Rated Riot have worked with, but you hadn’t realised this was before the band was even formed.

Suddenly, the broken air conditioner in the room whirred back to life, interrupting your thoughts.

“S-so, they started talking,” Jungkook said, momentarily distracted by the loud noise. “Hoseok wanted to be independent, and Namjoon didn’t push him to sign with Jett Records back then. He helped him. Unofficially, I guess. They found Taehyung very randomly at this one after-party for somebody at our label—well, our future label. Namjoon took Hoseok there to network, and Taehyung just happened to be there. No one knows why, but you know Taehyung. He’s always going to be right where he needs to be.”

“Yeah,” you said, nodding knowingly. Taehyung always seemed to find his way to the people and places meant for him.

“Yeah, so he was at that party,” Jungkook continued, “and he overheard Namjoon and Hoseok discussing the plan for Hoseok’s band. They were saying that they needed a bassist first. And Taehyung just chimed in like, “I play bass.” Just out of the blue. Namjoon asked him who he was, and he introduced himself. Namjoon then asked what he was doing here, and Taehyung said, “I’ll tell you if you let me join the band”—which he never did, by the way. We still don’t know what he was doing at that party.”

You chuckled softly. Knowing Taehyung, nothing in this story surprised you, but you were still impressed by how quickly his energy captivated Hoseok and Namjoon.

“So, they let him join?” you asked.

“Namjoon claims he auditioned for them first,” Jungkook said, clicking his lips questioningly. “But one time when Hoseok was very drunk, he admitted that he’d felt desperate. Namjoon was busy and couldn’t help him much, so Hoseok had to figure things out on his own. He said he called and invited Taehyung to join right away. He thought they could find a proper bassist later, and Taehyung could fill the spot for the time being. Funny.”

“Oh,” you said. “Because he hadn’t heard him play yet?”

“Yeah,” he confirmed. “He hadn’t seen Taehyung even holding a bass before. So, he had doubts. I guess I get that. Anyway. He invited Namjoon to their first rehearsal and Taehyung blew Namjoon the fuck away. That’s it. Hoseok said that after that, he was worried Namjoon would sign Taehyung and leave him behind. Not that Namjoon would do that, but uh—yeah. Taehyung was that good.”

“They’re both that good,” you said. “Hoseok never acknowledges his own talent.”

“Right?” he nodded eagerly, turning to his side to look at you. There was a warm smile on your lips that Jungkook really enjoyed. “They’re both amazing.”

“So, how do you come into the picture?” you asked.

He took a breath before answering.

“I saw Hoseok and Taehyung playing at this dive bar that Sid dragged me to,” he said.

Your eyebrows arched in surprise. “No shit?”

“Yeah,” he said, running his tongue over his lips. “He said I was annoying and mopey, so he kept taking me to a new place every night. There were hardly any people at this bar that night. Taehyung was singing, but he sang, like, one verse, and then they launched into the longest instrumental break I’ve ever fucking heard. And it was incredible. Shit, I—I’m more into vocal music. But seeing Hoseok and Taehyung play together—there was another guitarist with them, actually, I don’t even know who it was—anyway. It made me realise how powerful instrumental music can be on its own.”

A dreamy fog had descended upon his face, and only now did you realise that the air conditioner had stopped working again, seemingly calling it a day. You appreciated the silence and the way Jungkook looked when he played back the memories in his head, his eyes shimmering with the bright lights and the sounds of the bar that night.

“I didn’t know that Sid met the other members before you joined the band,” you said.

“Oh, yeah,” he replied. “He also said he could be a better bassist than ‘that guy.’”

“He—of course,” you groaned. “Wait until Luna hears this. She’ll take care of Sid for us on Taehyung’s behalf, I think.”

He nodded, snickering. “I bet. But Sid actually left the bar before they finished their set. I stayed back. After they wrapped up, I went up to Hoseok at the bar and told him how much I enjoyed their performance. Told him I was thinking of picking up drums—”

He paused abruptly, noticing your surprise before you remembered him mentioning this to you.

“Oh, was this when you and Sid were planning to start your own band?” you asked. You had assumed they were joking.

“Yeah,” he replied, snickering. He had been joking, but he still found drummers to be effortlessly cool. “So, Hoseok delivered the longest fucking speech about what his job was like. Don’t ask him about it, by the way, or you’ll have to sit through three hours of him making drum sounds. But anyway, I was pretty drunk by then, and I don’t know, I guess I hummed along to some song that was playing or something.”

You nodded. Jungkook was almost always humming something.

“Then Hoseok said they needed a vocalist for their band,” he continued, “because Taehyung didn’t want to do it. And he noticed me humming, so he jokingly asked if I happened to sing. I said sometimes, nothing serious. Everybody sings sometimes. He told me to sing something for him. I told him to get fucked, we’re in a bar.” Jungkook had to pause here to let you finish laughing. “And Hoseok just shrugged, like, “no one’s at the mic, why not?””

“That did it for you?” you asked.

He nodded. “That fucking did it for me.”

You laughed again, knowing that he would never shy away from anything that resembled a challenge.

“What did you sing?” you asked.

Jungkook gave you a look. There was only one song that always lingered at the back of his mind. You could have guessed it, really, but you were a little frightened about its significance in this context.

“You—you sang Biffy Clyro?” Your throat was dry all of a sudden and useless questions continued to pour out of your dumbfounded chest. “At that bar? In front of Hoseok? “M-Many of Horror?””

“Of course,” Jungkook said, as if there had never been any other song he could have chosen to perform that night, besides the one that followed you and him throughout your relationship. “It—it really fucked with me, though. We had just broken up maybe a month ago, so it was still fresh, you know? And this was my first time singing “Many of Horror” in public, on top of that. And I was—I didn’t do well. I think I missed half the lyrics in the last chorus because it was too much.”

He snickered lightly, trying to lessen the impact of his words. You felt frozen.

“I-I was standing there,” he continued, and you could almost see it, “hiccuping to the I still believe, it’s you and me ‘til the end of time, while Hoseok just watched me, expressionless. And then I drank half the bar right after I got off stage.”

He sang the two lines of the song as he shared the story, his voice quiet and tender, and you thought you must have resembled Hoseok right now—so lost in all the emotions brewing inside you that you did not immediately realise he had stopped speaking, and it might have been appropriate for you to reply.

“Y-you still sounded great, though,” you managed. “Obviously.”

“Yeah, maybe four people clapped. Out of the ten or so at the bar,” he said, chuckling. “Hoseok told me he had to make a call, told me to stay right where I was, and then he disappeared. He returned twenty minutes later with some dishevelled guy in a turtleneck with a little hole in the collar.”

You recognised the description. “Namjoon?”

“Namjoon,” Jungkook confirmed, the smile on his face matching the one hesitantly spreading on yours. “I was fucking wasted. They were saying I had to meet with them for rehearsals, they wanted to see how I’d sound with them. And I’m—I couldn’t fucking think straight. They were telling me they wanted me to join the band, and all I could think about was that you weren’t here.”

The excitement in your eyes quickly turned into pain as a sharp twinge of longing pierced through your chest. It cut into every open crevice of your heart, reminding you of the way it had bled in those first few months after you broke up—even on this particular day, while Jungkook was struggling to get himself together in the face of his future, and you were likely at home, tossing and turning in your bed because you did not know what to do with yourself.

“I wanted to tell you so badly,” Jungkook admitted, his eyes fixed on the bedsheets, his voice filled with incorrigible regret. “But we weren’t talking anymore. I thought—there was this one moment where I thought, well, what’s the point? What’s the use of joining this band if I can’t even tell you about it? A-and they weren’t even a full group when I met them anyway. It took about two more weeks for Yoongi to join.”

You made a conscious effort to swallow the lump in your throat, and shifted your focus to Yoongi to allow for the sudden ache in your chest to subside.

“Yeah, uh—Yoongi mentioned that he was the last to join,” you commented, hoping to steer the conversation back to a less emotionally charged topic. “He used to play for a different band before, right?”

“Yeah. Somnia,” Jungkook said. The name did not sound familiar to you. “They weren’t—um, going anywhere. That’s a very blunt way to put it, but they were just stuck. And Yoongi and Namjoon go way back. So, Namjoon called him one day and lied that he was producing for this new, promising band in need of a permanent guitarist. Said they had a solid rhythm section, but their artistic direction needed some refinement.”

“And, uh,” your voice was a little lighter, “I assume they had a great vocalist, too?”

Jungkook smiled. “They did, yeah. I was trying to be modest, but you brought it up.”

You snickered, offering a nonchalant shrug. “Just trying to help you out.”

“Thanks,” he replied. “Yeah. So, Yoongi was the last one to join. He’d—he has a lot more creative freedom with us than he had with Somnia, which still isn’t a lot. But it’s something. And I think that was the main reason why he left them.”

“And they were okay with him leaving?” you asked.

Jungkook turned on his back and sighed.

“I assume they weren’t,” he said, briefly glancing at the ceiling before turning to look at you. “That’s why he doesn’t talk much about it.”

“Ah.” You nodded. “Makes sense.”

“Yeah, but anyway, Yoongi joined and we were complete,” Jungkook continued. “We released “Haunting” independently. That—okay, that was in June. Some time after that, this radio DJ that Yoongi knew played our song on his radio show as a birthday gift to Yoongi. Namjoon and Christian Jett—”

“CJ, apparently,” you cut in.

“Right. CJ,” he repeated. “They heard the song at some event. Apparently, CJ loved it, so Namjoon told him about us. When CJ found out we weren’t signed to a label, he reached out to us. It took Taehyung and me three days to convince Yoongi and Hoseok to go to that meeting. They both had some shitty experiences with record labels in the past. But we persuaded them to at least show up. CJ had us perform “Haunting” and “Cursed” for him, the only songs we had released at the time, and he signed us on the spot. Well, after Yoongi finished negotiating with him about our contracts.”

Your heart started to race as if you had just realised how much the universe had to align, how many intricate coincidences had to happen to lead Jungkook to his band, and to bring the two of you to this moment in his hotel room.

“We started working on our album,” he went on, “and about four months later—in July, right?—the record started to finally come together. That’s when CJ started to look for a manager for us.”

You took a breath and finished for him, “and reached out to me.”

“Yeah,” he said. “All CJ told us was that he found someone. He mentioned that this person was already working under the label and that the band they managed had recently broken up.”

You did not interrupt the silence that followed, because you thought that Jungkook had paused for a few seconds. But he stopped speaking altogether, waiting for you to share your perspective.

“I-I was, uh, Nick’s assistant at the time,” you said, realising what the silence was for. “We were working with The Jungle Will Get You.” You turned to Jungkook and he shook his head. “Yeah, they were—they weren’t popular. And the members weren’t really motivated, especially towards the end. They split up, eventually. Nick moved on to manage Reconnaissance, and I took on administrative tasks for various bands under the label. It was only for a few months, but I thought I’d end up buried in endless piles of papers. So, when HR called me in to tell me about Rated Riot, I pretended to know exactly who you were to get that job.”

He was smiling next to you on the bed, lost in the memories that did not hurt anymore now that he shared them with you.

“I doubt even HR knew who we were,” he said, gazing up at the ceiling and clasping his hands on his stomach. “I’m just—I’m constantly—I don’t know. I can’t wrap my head around the fact that it was you that they chose for us. I mean, you’re amazing, you could have worked with any band out there. But they picked you for us.”

You grappled with the same impossible coincidence.

“I’m thinking about that, too,” you said. “You had so much potential and CJ... I wasn’t sure if he even saw it when he reached out to me. Not to mention, you and I were—we were broken up for two years at that point?”

“A year and seven months,” Jungkook replied.

“Right,” you said, slightly out of breath from the precision of his answer.

He turned to face you. “Did you ever consider turning down that offer to work with us after you found out I’m in the band?”

You exhaled what little oxygen you had left in your lungs. You’d considered many things when you saw him again that day, and you realised now that you still hadn’t fully grasped all the thoughts that had passed through your mind at the time.

“For maybe half a second,” you said. “I was very confident that we could move on from our relationship.”

He grinned. “Look how well that worked out for us.”

“Mhmm, right?” you agreed, meeting his gaze. “So professional.”

He chuckled, intoxicated by your proximity and the peace he found in the knowledge that the universe had put in a good effort to lead you two here.

“I know that—well, it seems like everything just fell into place to get all of you together for Rated Riot,” you said. “But it wasn’t that easy for you guys, was it?”

“Yeah, no, it definitely wasn’t,” he agreed. “After Yoongi joined, we struggled to write one fucking original song for months. We thought the band was going nowhere.”

You could see the sadness in his eyes. “It was that bad?”

“Yeah. Everything we tried to work on was shit,” he said. “We were getting drunk every night, trying to find something that could work as our first song. And nothing worked.”

“So, what happened?” you asked.

“You,” he answered simply.

Your brows creased. “How—what do you mean?”

“Namjoon pushed us to release something authentic for our debut single,” he began. “And the other guys decided to kick my ass and force me to work. They knew I was writing something, but it—it wasn’t anything serious. Not like what they write. You know I can’t just create shit on the spot. My lyrics have to be about something that I’ve been through. And you’re—you are every single meaningful experience that I have had in my life. The guys—they wanted to use that. So, you’re sort of the main reason why Rated Riot are where they are”

You exhaled slowly, your mind filled with thoughts just like it had been the first time you walked into Rated Riot’s meeting room and saw Jungkook there—looking only slightly different from the music video Luna had shown you before, and remarkably different from your memories.

“And that—this is why I brought this up now,” he said. “It’s all because of you. We broke up, and Sid dragged me to that bar to help me get over you. I sang our song to Hoseok, and he brought Namjoon to convince me to join the band. I wrote “Haunting” about you, and CJ heard it and decided to sign us. We put out several albums, filled with songs I’ve ever written for you, and now we’re on this tour. If it weren’t for you, I just—w-we wouldn’t be here.”

You felt your skin prickle, the sensation quickly turning to a painful sting, and you looked away. Frankly, you did not believe that your influence was this significant—not even after Jungkook had told you that it was. These events seemed like an unbelievable sequence of coincidences that he decided to treat as signs, and you found that you couldn’t breathe if you looked at them as signs, too.

You felt his eyes on you and only meant to glance at him very briefly, but he held your gaze for a few moments longer, watching as a shuddering breath passed your lips. Then he propped himself up on his elbows.

“I’m going to kiss you now,” he declared, the look in his eyes so final, so determined that you were almost afraid to move when you met his gaze. “And then I’m not letting you go. I don’t care if Sid texts.”

Your voice was very small. “I don’t care, either.”

“Fuck,” was more of an echo than a real whisper as his lips finally collided with yours. The kiss was deep and vehement and full of everything that had built up inside you over this day alone.

But then his tongue met yours and you realised that this day wasn’t all that special. You could have kissed him at any point of any day, and you would have still felt overwhelmed and aching, and you would have needed him right at the tips of your fingers as much as ever.

He tasted like the chocolate-covered cherry bonbons that he’d bought you because they reminded him of the summer nights you’d spent together. He tasted like the sticky homemade candy that the two of you baked when there were no other sweets in your dorm room and you craved something, but refused to leave, refused to pull away. Like the moments on the balcony of his house after you snuck away from his cousins. Like the rainy walks to class when your hair would be sticking to your face, but you couldn’t stop smiling, couldn’t stop looking at each other.

All the thoughts that had been screaming at you for the past fifteen minutes suddenly quieted down as he leaned closer until he was hovering over you, one of his hands on the side of your face.

He felt shivers on the back of his neck when your tentative fingers found their way to his hair. He exhaled softly against your mouth and stilled momentarily when he heard your quiet whimper in response to his kiss, to his breathing, to him.

The room suddenly spun completely out of control around him.

He needed you so much and for such a long time that every time you were with him, every time you kissed him, he worried that he was dreaming again. So he kissed you harder, held onto you tighter—not wanting to find out if he was asleep, not wanting to wake up.

He unbuttoned your denim jacket without pulling away and slid it off your arms, holding the side of your neck with one of his hands. His kiss was so deep, so riveting that you felt your lungs give up, felt them pack up and leave, forcing you to breathe him instead.

His hands caressed your shoulders, finding the straps of your shirt and sliding them down your arms—and then stopping abruptly when he realised that you weren’t wearing anything underneath.

Exhaling shakily, he pulled back—lightheaded and winded and completely obsessed with you—just to look at you for a minute. There was a playful grin on his lips when he kissed you again.

You pulled away enough to ask, “what?”

“Nothing,” he murmured in-between kisses, “you’re fucking perfect. But I want this off.”

He pulled you closer and you instinctively bucked your hips off the bed, causing a momentary hitch in his breath. He lifted the hem of your shirt, pulling the material up and tracing the invisible symbols on your skin along your ribs, your chest, and your arms. Tossing your shirt aside without looking, he leaned back in, yearning for the feel of your lips on his again and accepting that he could not last one minute without you. Perhaps not even one second.

He felt your hand on his chest, trailing down to the edge of his black t-shirt and distracting him from the kiss with the softness of your touch. You lifted his shirt up to his chest—as far as it would go without breaking the kiss—and felt him hiss at the cold sensation of your bare fingertips on his stomach.

“I’m sorr—” you began, but the second you pulled away to apologise, he leaned in to capture your lips in another kiss.

“No.” His whispers were frenzied against your lips. You could have electrocuted him with your touch, sliced him into pieces with your fingers, and he would have thanked you for it. “No. You—d-don’t apologise. You’re perfect.”

He heard the way you cursed under your breath—under his breath, too—and he found it hard to inhale against the pressure in his stomach, against the tightness in his jeans. He was humming with near desperation when you pulled him closer, running your hands over his arms, your touch gentle enough to truly kill him.

He was frantic, eager to touch you, to feel your arms, your thighs, your chest, your neck—all of you—before someone interrupted you. Before his time with you ended. He knew he had the rest of his life to spend with you, but now he worried it still wouldn’t be enough.

His tongue moved over yours, his kiss deep, rushing, dizzying. He did not need to look to find the button on your pants, unclasp it, and slide the rough material down your thighs, swallowing a moan when he felt you shivering under his touch.

He quickly pulled his own shirt over his head and tossed it aside before kissing you again, high on the sound of your lips smacking against each other. He shuddered when your hands unexpectedly met his on the belt of his jeans.

“Let me do it,” you asked in a whisper—but he was wholeheartedly yours at that moment, and you didn’t even have to ask.

“Okay,” he complied, allowing you to gently push him back onto the bed.

Closing his eyes, he savoured the newfound sweetness from your kiss on his tongue. He felt you shuffle closer to him on the bed and had to take a sharp breath when one of your hands slid down his abdomen to his jeans.

You leaned over to kiss him again, and he broke—only capable of lying idly for so long—reaching for you and caressing your shoulders and your arms. He made it almost impossible for you to keep doing what you were doing; unruly wildfires blazed everywhere he touched you.

Jungkook was determined not to break the kiss even as you undid his belt and unzipped his jeans. He thought he did well. But then he lifted his hips off the bed to help you pull his jeans off and you brushed your fingers over the bulge in his boxers—your touch featherlight against the material—and he was very nearly finished.

He whimpered lightly into the kiss, his breaths growing heavier, his hands growing greedier. You made sure to hold one of his hands in yours to prevent him from flipping you over on the bed, and he responded to that by cheating: he held onto you tighter and attempted to pull you closer every time he gently bit your bottom lip and you got distracted by the pleasant sting.

Finally, you managed to slide his boxers down his thighs, catching each of his heavy breaths on your tongue. You pulled back, and he was about to protest until he saw you throw one of your legs over his, straddling his hips.

He watched you slide your panties down your legs while hovering over his thighs and he wasn’t sure how long ago he’d stopped blinking. Mesmerised by the sight, he didn’t immediately rush to assist you in maintaining your balance as you lifted one knee off the bed.

Once he recovered enough to remember to inhale, he sat up and pulled you flush to his chest. You gasped in surprise when he hooked his fingers behind the waistband of your panties and slid them down your legs faster.

“I said let me do it,” you reminded him with a pout, and he kissed you instead of replying, too impatient to wait.

Your hands slipped down his chest and your hips bucked into his just barely, but he exhaled deeply, breaking the kiss. You used the moment while he was dazed to push him back into the pillows.

He fell back on the bed, knowing very well that he’d been in this position before—with you on top of him, your fingers tracing over his length before finally wrapping around the base—but he still shivered, throwing his head back into the pillows. He still kept his eyes fixed on your face when you started to move your hand in gentle strokes, killing him a little more with each movement of your wrist.

“Fuck,” he sighed. “At least let—l-let me touch you.”

He phrased it like a request, but he did not mean it like one. You didn’t resist when he reached for you, his hands travelling over your thighs, lingering on your lower back, squeezing your ass, and pulling your hips into his.

One of your hands had come to rest on his chest for support while you continued to stroke his length in deliberately slow, languid motions. You could feel him getting harder under your touch, and you closed your eyes, your teeth sinking into your lip.

He could not look away from you. He wanted to be the one to bite your lips, but he couldn’t move close enough to you with your hands on him. He settled for exploring the skin on your hips, sliding his hands up and down your thighs. Soon, you felt the tips of his fingers brush lightly over your stomach and then descend lower to slip between your folds.

He exhaled deeply through his mouth when he felt how wet you were, and that was enough for him—he would have found a way to hold you tightly against his chest even if you were across the world from him.

In a flash, he was sitting up, connecting your lips again and bringing his tongue over yours while he gathered the wetness between your folds with his thumb. Your grip on his length tightened instinctively, and Jungkook groaned, automatically applying more pressure to the sensitive bundle of nerves on your clit—just enough to have you arch your back into him.

He felt you move faster, squeezing the base and speeding up until your fingers brushed over his tip. Trying to fight back a moan, he reflexively bucked his hips into your hand while two of his fingers teased your entrance, sliding over your wet folds in a teasing, tickling motion. You broke the kiss, sighing and dropping your head on his shoulder.

He didn’t give you much time to catch your breath—you didn’t give him any of that, so he thought this was only fair—as he kissed along your jaw, gently sucking on a spot on the nape of your neck. His fingers continued stimulating your clit with a combination of light, fast circles and harder, slower strokes that he knew would make you break for him.

“F-fuck, wait,” you exhaled, grabbing his wrist to stop his movements. “I w-want you.”

“You have me, my love,” he whispered back, running his tongue over the faint mark he’d left on the sensitive skin of your neck and humming, his tone gravelly and rasp, when you hissed at the feeling. “All of me.”

You gripped his wrist tighter. “Lie back.”

He didn’t immediately obey, opting to use his only free hand—the one you couldn’t hold, because you needed both hands to stop his determined fingers from drawing you any closer to the edge—to squeeze your ass and pull your hips over his length instead.

“Lie back,” you ordered again, your words firm, but breathless. It started a raging flame in his lower stomach, but he still resisted a little more—kissing you again, sucking on your tongue, sliding his hands over your thighs, and nearly making you lose it before he finally leaned back against the pile of pillows.

Jungkook still thought he was doing fairly well, considering the burning on his skin and inside him, but watching you unwrap a condom package and slide the latex down his length—torturously slowly, it seemed to him, to really test his limits—he thought he might lose it, after all.

You felt him jerk slightly in your hand, sensitive as you rolled the condom down his length, and your deep exhale blended with his sharp inhale. He locked the sound of your breathing somewhere deep in his mind, too focused on your touch to revel in it right now, but far too inspired by the response your body had to his to forget it altogether.

He bit his lip, his eyes locked on yours as you positioned yourself over his length. He was convinced that you were teasing him on purpose when you brought his tip closer to your entrance and then paused. He could already feel the wetness of your folds on him, and the second he lifted his hands to touch you, he was forced to let them drop in utter defeat when you finally slid his tip in.

“Fuck,” he whispered, his eyes rolling back at the feeling of your tight, warm walls as you struggled to take all of him in at once, and stopped, most cruelly, halfway in.

You looked breathtaking on top of him and there wasn’t a single coherent thought in his mind, so he couldn’t offer to help you anymore, couldn’t even guide you down on his length. He could barely stay still, biting his lip and clutching the sheets so he wouldn’t ram his hips into yours.

“You’ll kill me,” he whispered in a strained voice when you lifted your hips again, sliding his length over your folds, but not slipping it back inside.

Finally, you lowered yourself on him again, taking all of him in, inch by inch, and a soft sigh escaped your lips before you could stop yourself. “O-oh.”

You had to suppress another whimper when your hips met his, the stretch of his length stinging pleasantly. He hissed at the feeling, his hands flying to your hips to keep you in place.

His touch reminded you of Amsterdam suddenly: of the way he had held you, the way he had felt after all these years.

You wanted him so much that it no longer felt like a simple wish. He felt like a necessity and you could not understand how you’d ever managed to go on with your day when he wasn’t in the room with you.

You needed a moment to adjust to him and Jungkook watched you all through it. Even though he was barely able to keep his eyes open, he took in all of your reactions as the initial sting subsided and your hips twitched against his.

“Fuck,” he whispered. “Move for me, love. Please?”

You sighed as his endearing words—and the loving lilt in his voice—lit up your stomach and made you involuntarily clench around him. He groaned, digging his fingers into your hips. You had told him to lie back, but he wasn’t sure how much longer he could obey.

Finally, you began to move and he threw his head back, swallowing hard at the feeling. You rotated your hips in slow circles, allowing his entire length to delicately rub the walls inside you, and he could not remember when he’d last felt you like this. He could not remember anything outside this room, and when you rested both of your hands on his chest for balance, he seemed to forget his own name, too.

“Fuck,” was a soft, jagged breath that got caught in his throat as he watched you in the dimly lit room. His eyes had adjusted to the darkness enough to make out your silhouette, and he squeezed your ass tighter so he wouldn’t immediately lose it at the sight.

You drew back all of a sudden, placing one hand on his chest and resting the other against the mattress, right by his arm. You pulled your bottom lip in with your teeth as you lifted your hips, then slowly lowered yourself on him again. It took you a moment to find your rhythm, and Jungkook parted his lips, inhaling sharply through clenched teeth every time your thighs met his.

You shifted your weight to your knees to increase the pace and he nearly choked on his breath when you placed your hands on his shoulders and bounced your hips against his, his length gliding against your velvety walls.

“Y-you—oh, fuck. You look s-so beautiful,” he stammered, his hands travelling from your hips to your waist, then back down again.

Love and lust burned in his darkened eyes when he looked up at you, his hair falling in messy curls around his face. His chest rose and fell underneath you, the muscles on his abdomen tightening each time you sank down on him again.

You watched him like this and you changed your mind about describing him; an adjective that would fit him had not been invented yet.

You tried to respond to his words, but he suddenly lifted his hips off the bed to meet you halfway and knocked all breath out of your lungs, forcing a soft whine to pass your lips instead as you leaned into him, losing your balance.

It was starting to get too much—how deeply he reached inside of you, how tightly he held onto you—and Jungkook noticed it right away. Squeezing your hips, he adjusted his position by bending his knees for a better angle and bouncing you on his lap very slowly once, then twice, before pulling you into his chest and thrusting into you faster.

Curses and almost desperate whines fell from your lips, matching the rhythm of his skin slapping against yours. He knew he had hit your sweet spot when he felt your nails digging into his chest, when you tightened around him, when your strained breaths got louder, when your teeth grazed his collarbone—and he growled, gripping your hips tighter and trapping you against his chest with his other arm.

“Jungkook—” you panted, barely able to speak, and the sound of his name on your lips ignited the room around him.

He grunted softly and flipped you both to your sides, pulling your back into his chest by wrapping his arms around your waist and chest, his grip firm, deliberately inescapable, but his fingers gentle as he teased your nipples. His thrusts were slower at this new angle, but now they were deep and hard. It was your increased breathing and louder, uncontrollable chants of his name that encouraged him to speed up.

“Fuck,” he exhaled. And again, louder when you clenched around him, “f-fuck.”

This position allowed him to reach even deeper inside you and the way your walls sucked him in was as blissful as it was worrisome—he wanted this to last, and he didn’t think it would. Not when he had you so close to him, inhaling the scent of your apple shampoo, peppering breathy kisses on the side of your neck, feeling the goosebumps that he brought to your skin when he caressed your nipples, and thinking he might actually explode every time your body jolted against his with each one of his thrusts.

He slid one of his hands down your navel and kept his palm right above your entrance for a distracted minute, feeling himself move in and out of you, and groaning into your shoulder before lowering his hand to your clit. You writhed against him as he rubbed on a soft, gummy spot there, bringing you dangerously close to your high.

“Fuck, Jungkook,” you whimpered, almost helplessly clutching his arm that was wrapped around your chest. “I’m—s-so close.”

“I’m here, my love,” he whispered. “Come for me.”

Anything you were going to say died on your tongue when you felt his lips on your neck again. His fingers continued to massage the soft spot between your folds and your walls clenched and pulsated around him with each thrust of his hips. White clouds gathered on the edges of your vision and a low moan passed your lips as the knot in your stomach tightened.

Jungkook felt you tremble in his arms and pulled you into his chest harder. Keeping quiet had stopped being an option for you when he pressed on your clit with the pillows of his fingers, his hips continuously drilling into you—he remembered the spot you liked, and he made sure to hit it every time. He felt you tighten again, so close to your peak, and he relished in your loud whimpers.

Pulling his lip ring in with his teeth, he held you tightly against him to maintain a steady pace, his strokes assured and calculated, to push you completely over the edge. He fell impossibly more in love with you when his name got caught in your throat with your breath.

“Fuck, you’re so pretty,” he cooed as you writhed in his arms, coming down from your high. “S-so pretty—oh, fuck, my love—when you come for me.”

The anticipation of his own climax soon caused his hips to start moving with a certain frenzy, and he pulled all the way out before plunging himself into you again and fully bottoming out.

“Oh, fuck, fuck,” he grunted breathlessly, twitching inside of you.

His hips stilled completely and he cursed again, spilling himself into the condom. Groaning deeply, he drove his hips into yours instinctively, this way prolonging his pleasure and the time he spent watching you bite your lip in an attempt to stay quiet. He thought he heard you whisper a breathless I love you and he was convinced he came again just at the sound of it.

He buried his face into the crook of your neck and his voice cracked in the middle of his breathless chants, “fuck, I love you so much—I-I love you so fucking much—”

He still didn’t release his grip on you, lifting his head to kiss your neck again, while the two of you tried to recover and accepted, eventually, that you probably never truly would.

“Fuck,” he exhaled. Then, again, from the back of his throat, “fuck.”

You turned around as much as you could with his arms around you, and met his lips with your own, humming into the kiss and causing him to lose his sanity again—although, to be perfectly honest, he wasn’t sure if he’d even regained it yet.

Your bodies remained locked in an almost desperate embrace for another minute, your lips moving leisurely against each other as your breaths mingled and the room—but not your hearts—quieted down.

Unfortunately, you had to strain your neck to kiss him from this position, and Jungkook ended up having to let go of you. He pulled out carefully—the gentle contact still making you hiss from sensitivity—and helped you roll to your other side to face him.

After pressing another kiss to your lips, he grabbed a stray pillow and placed it next to your head. He touched your chin gently, prompting you to lift your head so he could slide the pillow underneath.

You smiled at the unnecessary, but very appreciated gesture. “I love you.”

His chest contemplated bursting.

“I love you,” he replied. “So much that I am not—I don’t want you to leave this room. Or my bed, actually. I want to stay with you every second of every day, and I’m okay if every court would qualify me as insane for that.”

You snickered into the pillow, your expression radiant. “I don’t think you’re insane.”

He grinned and got up to discard the condom before climbing back into bed.

“And I want to stay, too,” you added, closing your eyes.

He pressed a kiss to your cheek as he got comfortable on the bed. “Not just tonight, but always?”

“Of course,” you whispered, your voice turning lighter, “but I do have my own room.”

He settled in his spot next to you and draped an arm over your waist with a soft grunt. “Fuck if I knew why.”

He pulled back slightly to see your laughter. You didn’t seem like you were going to object or tell him that you should leave, but he still caressed your cheek, bringing his fingers over the smile lines by your lips that he had caused. His heart fought fiercely against his mind at the sight of them. He was almost ready to call Rated Riot’s next song “Smile Lines” and just sigh dreamily into the microphone for five minutes while Yoongi played gentle piano chords in the background.

“I think you should stay with me everywhere we go,” he said, leaning in to connect your lips in a deep, lingering kiss. His voice was a whisper against your mouth, “so we could do this again. And again. And again.”

You broke the kiss—and he would have been very upset about that, but you did that to laugh again, and he understandably forgot everything he was thinking of doing.

“You have a show tomorrow,” you reminded him gently, your eyes warm.

He shrugged. “So we’ll have to take a break for a few hours.”

You pressed your lips together, trying to contain your smile to an appropriate level. “Hmm.”

He rested his forehead against yours. “Sounds good?”

“You are messing with my head,” you whispered.

He grinned, pressing his lips to yours again. “I love you.”

You kissed him back but made sure to click your lips in feigned disapproval as you pulled away. “What did I just say?”

“You messed with mine first,” he countered, his quiet laughter blending with the warmth of your kiss.

He had already stolen all air from your lungs, robbed your mind of every thought you possessed before him, and kept your heart hostage—and now he was beaming like he knew very well he’d done all that. Like he wasn’t one bit sorry about ingraining himself in your life so much that it felt like you shared one soul, and it had stayed with him after you broke up: forcing him to suffer from the weight of it, while you searched for something missing inside you.

“I love you,” you said again. Your words were a whisper and they got lost on his tongue but found their way to his heart anyway.

Planting a few quick, butterfly kisses to your lips, he leaned back against the pillows, keeping his palm on the side of your face so he could rub gentle circles over your cheek with his thumb.

He loved you, and sometimes this love was all that he could think about.

Other times, however, the shadows in the room grew just a little darker.

“Sid hasn’t replied, huh?” he asked quietly, reluctantly.

You sighed, shaking your head. Your phone had been silent all night, and the more you tried to ignore the silence, the more noticeable it became.

“Should I text him?” he suggested. “To poke the bear a little.”

You frowned and felt your stomach sink—a feeling that Jungkook made even worse by pulling away from you and allowing for the brutal, cold air of the room to fill the space where his hand had been.

“What do you mean?” you asked, sitting up.

He rolled over to grab his phone from the nightstand.

You moved closer to be able to see the screen over his shoulder. You frowned the whole time, but it really did not take Jungkook more than a minute to compose a message that almost sparked an argument between the two of you.

After some relatively mild back and forth—consisting of your annoyed, “I told you I want to keep you out of this” that was followed immediately by his melodramatic, “I’m doing this because I love you”—the two of you reached a compromise.

Look, his text to Sid read. I know you’ve been texting my girlfriend. Stop. Let’s keep this shit between us.

This wasn’t the full truth. After sending you a few mocking texts after he posted that picture to his Instagram, Sid hadn’t texted you anything else. You weren’t sure if this would even provoke a response, but Jungkook was convinced. He sent the text and pulled you back onto the pillows despite your protests.

“I’m sure it’ll only be a few minutes,” he said. “Until he texts you.”

Sure enough, he did.

Just as you lied down next to Jungkook, just as he intertwined your hands, his fingers toying with yours, just as you were about to forget your phone altogether—just then, the text finally came.

Your eyes widened, but Jungkook had the decency not to gloat. Instead, he wrapped his arms around you until the beating of your heart returned to a reasonable pace. Then he let you sit up again and reach for your phone.

Sid’s message read, “eager to talk to me now?:)” and you breathed out a sigh of relief as soon as you showed the text to Jungkook.

“Alright,” you said, content. You didn’t even need to respond to him anymore, he’d already started the next step of your plan. “Now we’re good to go.”

Jungkook, smiled, nodding and extending his hand to pat the bed. You lied back down and he wrapped an arm around your waist, pulling you closer to feel your skin against his again. His breathing was soft on your neck and you smiled back, finally losing yourself in the calming darkness of his room and the warmth of his touch.

For one blissful minute, you focused on his breathing and traced the edges of his tattoos, and felt as though nothing bad, nothing hurtful or upsetting had ever happened to either of you.

“Will we be okay, do you think?” you asked wearily. “Tomorrow.”

He was taken aback by the question, you could tell from the way his breathing increased, but his response was quick and certain.

“We’re already okay,” he said. “Today and tomorrow, and the day after tomorrow, and the day—”

“I love you,” you interjected softly, successfully stopping him.

“Thank you,” he said. “I would have kept going.”

You grinned. “I know you would have.”

He snickered, pulling you closer until you nestled your face into his neck and rested your hands on his chest, tapping, every now and then, to the beat of his heart.

“Sleep,” he whispered. “For a few hours, at least.”

You leaned your head back enough to press a gentle kiss on the corner of his lips instead of replying.

Jungkook hummed and melted into you, easing his grip to give you some space to breathe, but still remaining attached to you like he was a part of you and you were a part of him.

He could have stayed with you like this, he thought, for the rest of his life. And for at least a hundred more lives after that.

chapter title credits: sleep token, “give”

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oddinary4bts · 2 years

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The Boy with Galaxies in his Eyes | jjk

☆summary: you had never thought the night sky could be found in someone’s eyes. That is, until you met Jeon Jungkook and his gravity pulled you in. Will he crush you with the galaxies in his eyes, or will you learn to explore his worlds and make them yours?

☆pairing: Jeon Jungkook x female tattoo artist reader

☆rating: 18+

☆genre: fwb to lovers, idol!au, angst (a lot), smut (a whole lot too), fluff

☆warnings: oc’s ex-boyfriend died and it takes an important place in the story, swearing, fuckboy Jungkook, fuckgirl oc, a whole bunch of red flags, miscommunication (they learn how to communicate don’t worry), exes that can’t stay out of your life, alcohol, they be a little toxic but they get better, explicit content: fingering, pussy slapping, squirting, oral sex (male and female receiving), mouth fucking, dirty talking, jungkook has a slight begging kink and an exhibitionism kink (not that present in the fic), dom!jk, switch!reader, car sex, sex in a tent, hair pulling (I think), tits/nipple play, unprotected sex, a little bit of ass slapping, mentions of choking

☆word count: 52.9k

☆playlist: I made a playlist for the fic, that is sort of timed with the scenes if you want to give it a listen while you read! (I spent way too much time doing that HAHA)

☆a/n: I love everything about this fic. Everything was so easy to write, like the story was already written in my head and I was just transcribing it. I’ve never felt like that with a story, and perhaps that’s why the word count grew so quickly (I did decide not to write everything I had planned and still here we are). I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I loved writing it. Once again, I reiterate that this fic deals with a lot of grief and it might get heavy. If you need to talk to someone, please reach out, my dms are always open for you all <3

☆a/n pt 2: MOST IMPORTANTLY, shout out to my beautiful beta reader, @moonleeai <3. This story would be nothing without you and I will forever be thankful for your help. You are amazing and a true gift <3

☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆

In your universe, there was a boy with galaxies in his eyes. Someone that held whole worlds in his gaze, worlds unexplored by anyone before. Territories left untouched, unspoiled by human exploration. He was a firm believer in outer space, in planets and stars and nebulas. For someone that held them in his eyes, he didn’t look up at the night sky enough, didn’t take time to enjoy the constellations in which he swam. But he loved them nonetheless, with a heart made of gold that he had locked up far in his depths. So far no spacecraft could reach it and no human touch was enough. Until he met a girl with a mirror in her eyes, someone that was just like him. Someone that held the whole world in her gaze, yet hid it behind closed doors. Someone that had been hurt, in the past, so bad she didn’t let her galaxies shine anymore.

And maybe that, most of all, was what pulled in the boy with galaxies in his eyes.

*****

If there was one thing you had understood, as a young tattoo artist, it was that Friday nights were a profitable night, with all the drunk people seeking for a permanent imprint of their revelry on their skin. You had put your ink on more drunken bodies than you could remember, though you had always made sure these tattoos were top of your art.

God knew you didn’t need any bad reviews for your shop. So far, the reviews had mostly been positive, with people coming back sober to thank you about your art. It had led to you having quite a reputation, and an impressive following on your Instagram, where you posted every tattoo with the consent of its owner.

One thing led to another, and famous people started going to you for their own tattoos – drunk or not – and you barely even were surprised when you saw them walk into your shop. Usually, that is.

Because when Jeon Jungkook walked into your shop, on a late Friday evening in the middle of June, surrounded by a small crowd of his friends, your mouth fell open, and you blinked a couple of times, willing the image to change.

Or just for it to start making sense, because your brain was struggling to understand. He had not even contacted you in advance. Had you known, you wouldn’t have scheduled someone already.

And as you sat there, looking at Jungkook over the young girl you were tattooing, gazes meeting like an intimate embrace, you were struck dumb. You couldn’t find anything to say but stare.

Now, you had never been a big fan of his. But it was hard not to know who he was, when you had lived in Seoul your whole life. BTS was a big thing, whether you liked their music or not.

“Good evening”, he said, bowing his head.

It took you a moment to register the slur in his words – Jeon Jungkook was drunk in your tattoo shop. So were his friends, as they giggled behind him. Jungkook was clearly attempting to look sober, with a serious look on his face, but the blush on his cheeks was selling him.

“Hello”, you replied, bowing back.

You glanced at the girl you were working on, tattoo pen hovering over the skin of her arm, and the half-finished fine line fish you were drawing there. The girl was looking at Jungkook, mouth hanging open, eyes so wide you thought they were going to bulge out of her head.

You hoped you didn’t look like that because, even with the kindness she had addressed to you all night, she truly looked ridiculous.

“Are you closing soon?” Jungkook asked, scanning your shop once before meeting your gaze again.

You blinked once more, almost expecting the scene to change, but when your eyes opened again, Jungkook was still there.

“Miss Seo is my last client of the evening”, was your reply. You straightened, trying to appear more professional. “Do you wish to get tattooed tonight?”

A tall man behind Jungkook snorted, and another one of them elbowed him in the ribs. You were pretty sure the first one was Cha Eunwoo, but you didn’t recognize the other one. Nor did you recognize any of the other men.

Jungkook clearly tried to keep his cool, though the corner of his lips were shaking with a suppressed laugh. “If you can, yes. We’ll pay double.”

You let out a small laugh, tilting your head to the side. “There’s no need to pay more.” You glanced at the girl, and at her still wide eyes. “I’ll be done in about thirty minutes, if you want to come back then.”

The grin that moved on Jungkook’s mouth had your brain going into a frenzy, and you looked down at the tattoo. Trying to ignore the curious gaze that he still had on you, as if he wasn’t quite ready to look away, and join into the victorious cheers his drunk friends were exchanging.

“Oh God”, Seo Bomi, your client, let out, as your pen pricked her skin again.

You threw her a concerned look. “Are you okay?”

She nodded, cheeks so red she seemed to be about to implode. Quite like you felt, in all honesty. Because Jungkook had taken a few steps closer, while his friends were lingering by the door.

“Can I watch?” he asked, and you looked up to him as he stopped next to Bomi.

It was quite the sight to see, Jeon Jungkook looking down at you like that. It had your blood turning hot in your veins, as you gulped.

“If Miss Seo is comfortable, yeah”, you replied.

Your hands had never shaken when you had tattooed someone before, and you knew that they wouldn’t start today. No matter if you had an audience – you were confident in your talents, and maybe that, most of all, was behind your success.

Bomi’s face turned alarmed, her eyes growing a little wider. Jungkook got the clue and he stepped back, a friendly smile moving on his lips.

“You know what, I think we’ll grab another beer before”, he said. “We’ll be back in thirty minutes.”

You nodded, smiling at him. “Don’t be late.”

His smile melted into a smirk and he winked, “I’d never be late for you.”

He was gone before your brain had registered his words. Before you could even meet the flirtatiousness that had inhabited his sentence. It left you stunned for a moment.

“I knew you tattooed celebrities all the time, but I wasn’t expecting to see the ‘97 liners here tonight.” Bomi’s pretty voice was still a little strained from the embarrassment, and she let out a tiny giggle.

You focused back on reality, eyeing her. Had she heard Jungkook flirting at all, or was that just you?

“I wasn’t expecting them tonight either”, you replied, and you only then noticed your heart was beating out of your chest.

The night promised to be exciting, yes, and quite profitable for your tattoo shop.

If you didn’t make a fool out of yourself, that is.

*****

“Stay still”, you told Jaehyun for the thousandth time.

Of all of Jungkook’s friends, he was the only one that hadn’t seemed excited about getting tattooed, and you hadn’t even begun to draw on his skin.

“Sorry”, he apologized again.

You offered him a reassuring smile, before bringing the pen closer to his skin. He stiffened again, but this time he didn’t move, and you pressed the tip of your pen on the tender skin of the inside of his wrist.

He winced, but surprisingly remained still. Which was a relief, because it was getting particularly late, and you still had two of them to tattoo – Eunwoo and Jungkook.

Jungkook had asked to be last, claiming he wanted to watch you work on his friends. You had accepted, though you hadn’t expected him to sit so close to you. So close you could feel the side of his knee brush against your thigh, and your mind kept zeroing in on the spot where you touched.

Focus, Y/n.

You pushed Jungkook out of your thoughts, as you started drawing the small 97 the group had decided to get tattooed. Apparently, the decision to get the art had been taken when they were all sober, though as they had indulged in alcohol, they had decided to come to you tonight, instead of waiting to contact you first.

It was a rather unexpected turn of events for you, but you weren’t going to complain.

Jungkook moved closer, as your hair obstructed his view. He was leaning on his thighs, elbows resting on his knees, head on his closed fists. From so close, you could smell the alcohol on him, and the rich husky smell of his cologne. An expensive fragrance undoubtedly.

“How long have you been a tattoo artist?” he asked, and his warm breath brushed your cheek, making blood rush to your face.

“Ever since I graduated high school”, you replied, voice small as you focused on the pattern on Jaehyun’s skin.

“Don’t distract her”, Jaehyun warned his friend.

Jungkook let out a manly chuckle, one that had your heart squeezing in your chest, just enough for you to lift the tattoo pen.

“Sorry”, he apologized.

He leaned back on the stool he had brought closer to you, glancing at the rest of his friends, who were sitting on the couches next to the door. They were drinking soju – they had asked if they could first, of course – playing a drinking game that had them cheering a lot louder than needed.

Not that you minded, you had never been distracted by noise before. No, you had always been good at tuning out your surroundings.

Except when Jeon Jungkook was part of said surroundings, it seemed.

You finished Jaehyun’s tattoo in relative peace, even if your heart was still being a little piece of shit in your chest. Eunwoo’s tattoo went just as well, as Jungkook had followed back Jaehyun to the rest of the group, leaving you with enough room to breathe – for once.

Eunwoo offered you a friendly conversation as you worked on his skin, just enough to allow you to focus on him and him only – which helped, because you finished the tattoo a little quicker, wiping his wrist of the excess ink as you sat straighter.

“Thank you”, he said, smiling brightly.

It had you breathing in sharply, as you bowed your head. He chuckled, and you looked back up to his face.

“Have fun with Jaykay”, he said, his grin a little too knowing for your own good.

You only understood why when he joined the rest of his friends, and they told Jungkook they’d be waiting for him back at the place where they had been drinking. The bell on top of the door rang as they filed out, and you just sat there for a moment, as Jungkook told them he’d be quick.

There was a weird silence, once his friends were gone. The kind of silence that felt as if it was heavy with questions, yet nobody wished to break it. Or maybe you were just a coward, because being alone in this relative calmness with Jungkook had your mind playing tricks on you.

He looked at you, a lazy smile adorning his lips, before he took a few steps towards you.

“Well, I guess it’s my turn”, he said, and you nodded.

You pressed your lips in a thin line and got up, to get everything ready for him. He watched you move carefully, remaining silent, as he sat in the chair where you had tattooed the rest of his friends.

He only spoke once you sat back down next to him.

“I’ve been wanting to come here for a while”, he admitted, voice low, as you grabbed his arm to put it in the right position for you to access the spot he had pointed to earlier, when you had asked all of them where they wanted the tattoo.

Your hands stilled on him, and you looked up to meet his gaze.

Jungkook had big eyes. Big round doe eyes that seemed infinitely innocent. Yet, you felt like a prey under the depths they held, as if they’d swallow you whole if they could. It was attracting, in the same way sirens attracted sailors – beautiful, yes, but deathly nonetheless.

“You have?” you replied, once the silence had stretched to the point of discomfort.

You were almost sure you saw him gulp.

“I’ve heard a lot about you”, he answered.

He was the one to break the eye contact, and the intensity that had filled the air between you dwindled away.

“I hope you’ve heard mostly good things”, you said, a little teasingly.

He chuckled. “Only good things”, he agreed. “Jimin loves his moon phase tattoo.”

You had indeed been the one to permanently put the moons on Jimin’s skin, a few months ago. It had been planned for a while though – not like Jungkook’s appearance in your shop earlier.

“I’m proud of the result”, you said pensively as you recalled the day when Jimin had come.

It had been a stormy day, and he had seemed as if the rain had infected him with its bleakness. You hadn’t said anything, because you didn’t know him enough to ask about his personal life, and knew better than to ask anything to your celebrity clients.

There was a reason why they chose to come to you after all. Your professionality being at the top of the list. And your relationship with Jimin hadn’t gone beyond that – he had just been your client, and you, the artist. So you had focused on tattooing him, talking to him about everything and nothing in the hope that he’d leave with a smile on his face. He had, and you could only hope that it had lingered.

Jungkook’s face had fallen softer as you were lost in the memory, and you blushed as you focused back on him.

“As you should”, he replied, and then his eyes dropped to your hands on his arms.

Your own gaze followed his, and you took in the sight of his sleeve of tattoos. Drank in the sight, in all honesty, trailing from his wrist to his elbow, before exploring further up, up to the place where the art disappeared under the sleeve of his oversized black t-shirt. Your eyes went back down, until they settled on the spot in the inside of his elbow, the only spot that was void of ink.

You ran a finger on it, barely even grazing it, and Jungkook laughed.

“That tickled”, he said.

You echoed his laugh, before gazing up at him again. He met your eyes, wetting his lips before offering you a small grin.

“I assume I don’t need to tell you it might hurt”, you said, voice just a little low, taking a sultry tone you hadn’t even aimed for.

His big eyes narrowed a little, taking on a more dangerous expression. “I like a little pain, don’t worry.”

You chuckled, before going straight to work. And maybe it was the fact that his gaze was still burning on your profile, and that the atmosphere of your shop had turned a little heated, but you said, “That makes two of us.”

His manly chuckle met your ears again. “You don’t even have tattoos.”

You let a smirk grow on your lips, even though you didn’t glance at him. “Oh, I keep my tattoos in more hidden places.”

He leaned his head against the chair, tilting it to the side. “Like where?”

You straightened, pushing your hair over your shoulder, before slightly turning your head away from him, pointing behind your ear, where you had a small sun tattoo. “Like here.”

His eyes were a little dark as you met his gaze. “I’d hardly call that a hidden place.”

You shook your head slightly, before resuming your work on his arm. You finished the 9 before you spoke again. “It would be unprofessional for me to show one of my clients the rest of my tattoos.”

From the corner of your eyes, you saw Jungkook’s tongue dart out of his mouth as he wet his lips. “How unfortunate.”

And really, your other tattoos weren’t in particularly intimate places, but they were intimate enough for you not to like showing them. You had one on the side of your hip – a snake, with a small moon next to the s that formed its body. Your only other tattoo was the fine line tattoo of a rose and a dagger on your ribs, on your right side. The rose bloomed right next to your boob, and that most of all kept you from showing him.

As you remained silent, Jungkook let out a small chuckle. “How many other tattoos do you have?”

“Two”, you said as you started working on the 7.

“That’s not a lot, for a tattoo artist.”

He wasn’t wrong, most tattoo artists had more tattoos than you. You just had always been the kind of person to never do anything without a reason – so you kept your skin a blank canvas, for the reasons you’d encounter as you’d grow older.

You shrugged, glancing once at him. “I still have my life ahead of me to get more.”

His smirk turned into a genuine smile, and he nodded. “I get that.”

You fell into a comfortable silence as you finished working on the seven, and you wondered when Jungkook had sobered up. Because, really, he seemed to have sobered up before your eyes, as if he had not even indulged in alcohol in the first place. Or maybe you were the one that had become drunk with the proximity of him which, to be fair, was a high possibility too.

You wiped his skin as you finished, putting your tattoo pen down on the small table next to you. Jungkook was looking down at the tattoo as you watched him. He had an appreciative smile on his lips when he finally met your gaze.

“I know that wasn’t a lot of work for you, but you really are good at what you do.”

There was warmth, in his praise, warmth that awoke many emotions inside of you. Needless to say, none of them were appropriate with a client.

“I know”, you said, confidence seeping from your words. “I’m good at many things.”

“Is that so?” he asked, pushing himself up until he could throw his legs on the side of the chair. It brought him dangerously close to you.

You shrugged. “Or so I’ve been told.”

He laughed, rolling his eyes, though there was no animosity behind the action. “And yet you keep your tattoos a secret.”

“Everyone likes a little mystery”, you replied, winking at him before getting up.

You had to put distance between you and him, no matter how easy it was to flirt with him. No matter how much you burned under his gaze. It was strange because you barely knew him. Though, you had always been comfortable with meaningless connections, just not with a client.

“Are you a mystery?” he asked.

It sounded genuine, and you found yourself looking at him. Meeting the universes and the stars in his gaze. You felt as if you were about to lose your balance, and fall into his eyes. It was frightening.

“That is a good question, Jeon Jungkook.”

Another one of his chuckles filled the room, as he got up too. He stepped away, even if most of you had expected him to move closer. It made you wonder who was really inebriated between you two, and you were quite sure you didn’t want to know the answer to that.

Because even if you had barely met him, your whole body was burning up from his proximity. As if his pheromones, aligned with yours perfectly, rendered your attraction animalistic. It was basic biology, and far harder to resist than you thought it would be.

But you resisted, because he was a client, and he had drunk, and really Jeon Jungkook was a predator. You had to preserve yourself.

“I’ll pay for the others”, he said after a moment, as you both just stared at each other.

There was something, in the air, that was making you act up. That was making him act up too, visibly. Because his gaze held an intensity you couldn’t interpret, but that your body was begging you to dive into.

A predator, and one of the bad ones.

“Let me get my card reader”, you replied, breathing in sharply as he looked away from you to pull his black card out of his wallet.

As he did that, you quickly moved to where you kept the electronic device, dreading the moment you’d have to step closer to him for him to pay. It was like you’d be sucked in the gravity of a black hole, and God knew you didn’t want to meet the horizon.

You’d never be able to step away.

You grabbed the card reader, turning to look at Jungkook who had followed you, unbeknownst to you. He was standing close, yet far enough for you to escape his gravity. You wet your lips, before putting in the amount he had to pay, and handing him the device.

His eyes didn’t leave yours as he slid the card in, slowly, a smirk moving on his lips.

“You have a pretty smile”, he complimented you.

It took you aback, and you wondered if he could hear the war in your mind. In your whole body, and you didn’t know which side would win.

He is a client.

“Thank you”, you replied breathlessly, before letting a smirk of your own grow on your lips.

He wanted to be a predator? Then he’ll get a taste of the animal that lurked under your skin too.

“You have pretty eyes, but I’m sure I’m not the first girl to tell you that.”

His smirk froze, as his eyes grew a little inquisitive. A little curious.

“Hardly”, he agreed. “Would you like to be the last to tell me?”

You chuckled, rolling your eyes. “We both know that won’t happen.”

The card reader beeped as the payment was authorized, breaking the tension. Jungkook pulled his card out, before handing you the device. He held onto it as you grabbed it, just for a few seconds before letting it go. You didn’t know what to make of it.

“Do we?” he asked, voice barely above a whisper, behind that husky tone it had taken.

You wet your lips, slowly, coaxing his eyes to drop to your mouth. When it worked, a triumphant smirk broke on your features. You were in control now, and it put you right back into your comfort zone.

“I do”, you said. “Aren’t your friends waiting for you?”

He met your gaze again, defying you. You weren’t willing to relinquish victory, so you held it, unblinking, pulling at some dry skin on your bottom lip. You even went all the way to tilting your head to the side, putting your hair behind your ear so he’d get a look at your exposed neck.

You didn’t know why, but a lot of guys found themselves ensnared by an exposed neck. And for all he was, Jeon Jungkook was also a man, and so he reacted like one.

Eyes dropping to your neck, moving up to your mouth, and then meeting your gaze again. You had won, and the defeat in his eyes made you feel even warmer. Threatened to make you lose too.

“I guess they are”, he replied, tongue playing with his lip piercing. You exchanged another steaming look, and you struggled to hold his gaze. He was trying to regain a control you didn’t want to let go of. “I’ll see you around?”

You chuckled, airily, looking around your shop. “You know where to find me.”

Shit. That was an invitation if you had ever seen one.

And just like that the victorious smirk switched to his lips, and he nodded. “That I do.”

Your own smirk turned into a smile, and you looked him up and down, one last time.

“I’ll wish you a good night, Jeon Jungkook.”

He tutted. “That won’t do. You haven’t told me your name yet.”

It took you by surprise, but a lot less than his next words.

“And last time I checked, your number wasn’t in my phone yet.”

You rolled your eyes, at his cleverness, before chuckling.

“I don’t establish personal relationships with my clients”, you said, voice low. It was a warning of some sort, if he was willing to listen to it. But from the little you knew of him, in the few hours since he had stepped into your shop, you knew he wouldn’t listen.

Especially not when he had the advantage.

“What if I want to schedule an appointment with you? I’d need a number, wouldn’t I?”

You shook your head. “You can dm me on Instagram. That’s what Jimin did.”

He clenched his jaw, the smirk dying on his lips. “Alright then.” He nodded once, slowly, before glancing over his shoulder at the door. “Keep your name a secret too.” He winked at you as he looked at you again. “Keep the mystery alive.”

That had you laughing, a real laugh, not one that hinted at sultriness. “Isn’t that more fun?”

He was genuinely smiling as you finished speaking. “Maybe it is.” He nodded again. “Maybe it is.”

*****

It had been two weeks since Jungkook and his friends had come to your shop. Two weeks since he had walked into your life and made you feel like he had: like he was the center of the universe, and you were going to gravitate back to him, no matter what you did.

You had never really experienced that before. Irrational attraction, that is. You had your share of sexcapades, that was for sure, but nothing had felt like only a look from Jungkook had felt. And maybe that was why he kept haunting your nights, to the point that you’d wake up feeling hot and bothered.

You were going crazy, for someone you barely even knew. Someone you had only touched through the gloves you wore when you tattooed your clients, yet someone your fingers were itching to touch again.

That night, when you had gone home, you had half expected him to dm you right away. But he hadn’t, remaining stubbornly silent, hitting you with his own mystery. A mystery that slowly turned into a reality, as he didn’t come back into your life.

It was like the tattoos had never happened, as if you had imagined him and his friends standing there in your shop. If it wasn’t for the pictures of the tattoos that you had seen moving around the internet, you would have truly thought he’d just been a fever dream. The thing is, he hadn’t been, and your body was aching to see him again.

If only you had given him your phone number…

It was a thought that entertained your dreams, late at night, but even in your waken hours. It was strange, how he’d made you weak so easily, with just his physical presence. Even his absence rendered you weak now, and you hated it.

Hated the power he had gained over you.

It was strange, really, how intrigued you were with him. Because again it wasn’t like you, to be attracted to someone like that, wishing you hadn’t let them go. And it wasn’t because he was Jeon Jungkook, no, it fully was because of the tension that had taken over you. Over him, too, from the looks of it.

It led you to wonder if he did that with many girls. Flirt, that is. Offered them pieces of himself, scattering himself to the four corners of the Earth without a single regret. It was a show of liberty, in your imagination, something you fully agreed with. Something you experienced more than enough, though you rather liked your mystery.

You rather liked that nobody in the field really knew who you were, apart from your Instagram name. It let you have more control over your own life, and God knew how much you liked control. Not to the point of being obsessive, but you liked to know what was going on, all the time.

And maybe that was mostly why Jungkook still haunted your thoughts. Because you had no idea where he was, what he’d been doing, after making you feel like he was the center of the universe. After making your body react to his in such a way.

“Are you even listening to me?” your friend Aera asked.

Your brain focused back to the present, and to the restaurant around you. To the clatter of the chopsticks and spoons on the plates and bowls, and to the buzzing of conversation. To the sizzling of the meat on the grill, and the smoke that twirled in the air between you and Aera.

“Sorry”, you apologized. “You were saying?”

“Minchae knows someone having a party with some famous people”, Aera repeated.

The annoyingly pretty and overly rich Minchae, who had her little crowd of admirers wherever she went. Most of all, Minchae was the sweetest soul out there, and it was hard for you to hate her. You just were ticked off by her, as if there was something she hid. Call it intuition or whatever.

“Aishi”, you breathed, and Aera narrowed her eyes at you.

“I thought you could do some networking or something”, she said, shrugging her shoulders. “Get more celebrities to come to your shop.”

When she started wiggling her brows, you shook your head laughing, cursing her under your breath.

Lovingly, of course.

“Will you let it go?” you asked.

She straightened, taking on the most serious look she could muster up. “Never.” She then laughed, before meeting your gaze.

There was a malicious light in there, and it only made you roll your eyes as you grabbed the tongs to put the cooked meat on your plate and hers.

“You’ve been obsessing over Jungkook”, she pointed out. “I think you just need a good fuck.”

“Aera!” you yelped, looking around to make sure nobody had heard her. “Why would you say that?”

“Because it’s true”, she said matter-of-factly, laughing at the daggers your gaze threw her way. “If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you are a crazy fangirl.”

Choosing peace over war, you ignored her last comment.

“No but seriously”, she added, refusing to drop it. “We should go to the party. Maybe you can chat up a nice guy, and fuck Jungkook out of your system.”

“I won’t even comment on how disgusting that was.”

“You have one nights all the time, don’t act all prude on me.” She paused, as she took a bite of food. “Also, you know how I like Minchae’s parties, we always end up having a blast.”

That was very true, whether you liked it or not. You and Aera had always been party girls, and Minchae opened the door to a totally different crowd than what the usual clubs of Seoul held, a crowd you found you preferred. Not because they were rich, that you didn’t care about. No, because they often carried themselves with more respect than the regular population.

The result of their reputation being their most important brand, you assumed.

“I’ll go only if you let me tattoo a butterfly on the back of your neck”, you teased her, in reference to a drama she had absolutely hated.

You had personally found the main lead’s red flags to be quite attractive, but maybe that was just because you didn’t really do relationships at all, and Park Jae-eon reminded you of yourself, to a certain extent. Except you hadn’t met your ‘Yu Nabi’ yet, and doubted you’d meet one someday.

“Ew, I don’t want you to defile my perfect skin with your ink”, she said, shaking her head forcefully. “And a butterfly? You’re a traitor.”

You laughed heartily, taking a bite of your food before replying. “I swear I’ll tattoo you someday. And you’ll love it.”

“No thanks”, Aera said. “I’d rather die.”

“You’re just afraid of needles.”

“And what about it?”

You laughed again, along with her.

“What’s in it for me, if we go to the party?” you asked once your laughter had subsided.

Aera pondered for a time, index finger tapping on her chin. “A night of blissful fun and temporary pleasure?”

“Are you trying to write a poem or something?”

“No, just trying to convince you to go”, she said, chuckling. “Please?”

You shook your head, rolling your eyes. “Alright, we’ll go. But you pay the taxi home.”

You had been friends with Hong Aera for as long as you could remember. You had grown up together, and attended elementary school, middle school and high school together. People had often thought you were twins because of how inseparable you were. Though you had parted ways when she had chosen to go to college, and you opened your tattoo shop with the money you inherited when your grandmother passed away. Your parents had disapproved wildly, but Aera’s support had been all you needed.

And even if your parents still disapproved to this day, they refrained from telling you so. Maybe because you had made a name for yourself in the tattoo industry, but mostly you thought it was because Aera was going to be a surgeon, and she had told them she’d take care of you if need be.

Not that you would ever need it. You made plenty of money practicing your art and you didn’t need more to feel complete. No, you rather liked the life you lived, with all the freedom and the emancipation that it held.

Minchae’s party was held at a private venue, in a posh part of Seoul, not so far from your tattoo shop, in all truth. You needed invitations to get in, so Aera and you found yourselves waiting outside for Minchae to come fetch you.

You weren’t surprised when the girl stepped out with a pretty man on her arm.

You were startled, though, by the realization that it was Jaehyun.

“Hi!” Minchae squeaked as she saw you and Aera, throwing her arms around your necks to pull you into a hug that had you wincing a little.

You had never liked public displays of affection.

Jaehyun met your gaze over Minchae’s shoulders, his eyes widening at the sight of you. He then smiled as he recognized you. You pulled away from Minchae just in time to bow to him and Minchae looked between you two.

“You know each other?” she asked, head tilted to the side prettily.

Jaehyun held out his wrist in the space between you, showing the tattoo you had imprinted on his skin two weeks ago. It was enough explanation for Minchae to connect the dots, and you met her gaze. You swore there was a disapproving light in her eyes, though it lasted for less than a fraction of a second, turning into a warm look.

“Y/n is the one who tattooed you all?” she said, clapping her hands excitedly. “That’s adorable.”

Jaehyun nodded, slowly, as if he wasn’t quite sure if Minchae was being honest, or if she was throwing shade at you. It made you smile wryly, and you two shared a supportive look that went unnoticed to the two other girls completing the square you formed.

“Well”, Jaehyun let out. “I’ll let you girls in.”

And that he sure did, with just a slight bow of his head to the bouncer in front of the door. Bouncer that eyed you suspiciously, but didn’t say anything.

You followed Jaehyun up a narrow and dark staircase, each step up increasing the volume of the music, until a door opened to what looked like an actual rave. Indeed, a large dance floor covered most of the floor, and throbbing lights provided enough lighting for you to see the dancing mingling bodies. A bar stood on the other side of the dance floor, up a small flight of stairs, though it was hard to distinguish it, with the lights and the smoke that lingered in the air. Tables were pushed against the walls of the private club, with a couple of actual booths residing in one of the corners of the room.

A shot of electricity went through your blood at the sight, and you and Aera shared an ecstatic look, right as Jaehyun led you to the booth where he and his friends were waiting.

Maybe you had been stupid, to not realize that it meant you’d probably run into Jeon Jungkook, when you had first seen Jaehyun outside. Or maybe you had just been waiting for the moment he’d reappear into your life, as if the gravity between you was too strong for him to resist. And you were glad he had reappeared like that, without you having to do anything.

It gave you a weird sense of control. Even though he was sitting with a pretty girl next to him, lost in a conversation with her. Yet, as you neared the booth, Jungkook’s eyes slid to you, and his gaze stopped on you, taking you in. Drinking you in, looking you up and down until his eyes met yours with a knowing light.

Maybe you had no control whatsoever.

“This is Aera”, Minchae introduced your friend, before motioning to you. “And you already know Y/n.”

Jungkook’s eyes hadn’t moved from you, and a knowing smirk grew on his lips.

“Y/n”, he whispered, as if tasting your name in his mouth.

Even though you couldn’t hear him with the music in the club, seeing his lips move with the shape of your name had your blood turning hot in your veins.

You bowed your head, eyes never leaving his, even as you felt the girl’s gaze on you. It was a stranger’s gaze, and you didn’t care about her. Not when Jungkook had your whole focus.

“Nice to meet you”, Aera said, looking around the table. Stopping on Jungkook’s friends – Cha Eunwoo and Kim Mingyu – before skimming over the girl at Jungkook’s side. Only then did Aera look at you, with a malevolent glint in her eyes.

She had known Jungkook was there all along, hadn’t she? You met her gaze, eyes dipping to the smirk that was growing on her lips, and you both let out a small laugh. The kind of laughs only close friends could share, the ones that usually held a whole conversation.

It had everyone looking at you, including Minchae, though she was pretty used to you and Aera already. You didn’t acknowledge her, instead looking back towards Jungkook, as his two friends struggled to scooch out of the booth to hug you and Aera. Aera’s hands remained on Eunwoo for a little longer than needed, and you tucked that piece of information to the back of your mind.

You’d give her shit for it as soon as you got a moment alone.

“Didn’t expect to see you again”, Eunwoo said as he moved towards you. “Thank you, for the tattoo.”

You glanced at the spot on his arm, before looking up at his pretty features. “It was my pleasure. You guys were fun to tattoo, even though you were drunk.”

Eunwoo laughed. “That we were.” He motioned over his shoulder, in the general direction of Jungkook. “Jungkook-ah didn’t give you too much of a hard time?”

You tilted your head in confusion at the smirk that was on his lips when he finished his sentence. “Should he have?”

It was said flirtingly, somehow, with your eyes trailing to Jungkook. He met your gaze, wet his lips, and then turned his head towards the pretty girl by his side. She shone under his attention, the corners of her mouth moving upwards as she bashed her eyelashes. You didn’t know if she had done it on purpose, but you would have sneered at her hadn’t you been talking to Eunwoo.

Realizing you hadn’t been paying attention to his reply.

“Sorry, what was that?” you asked, focusing your attention back on him.

He chuckled, hands digging in the pockets of his pants. “I was saying he asked us to leave you alone.”

You had known it, somehow. Expected it, maybe, but hearing the confirmation felt like a small victory. You had been right – you had an effect on Jungkook too. And even though he was solely focused on the pretty girl next to him right now, you knew the night was young.

You had plenty of time to gravitate back in his orbit. Or him in yours, because you weren’t going to wait for him. Not when his attractive friends were all too ready to party with Aera, Minchae and you.

Especially not when you danced with Aera as she had her eyes set on Eunwoo, grinding on you, showing him just what he was missing. And when she tilted her head to the side, pretty neck exposed, you pressed a kiss on her skin, sucking it in just a little, before meeting Eunwoo’s gaze. You winked at him, challenging him to take your place.

You were pretty sure he was gulping, but it didn’t matter, because you were already pushing Aera towards him. Your job here was done. So, you turned towards Mingyu, as Minchae was dancing with Jaehyun already. Mingyu seemed startled under your attention, and you wondered if maybe he was too pure, for the kind of thoughts that lurked in your mind whenever you found yourself entranced by the music of a club. Whenever you found yourself entranced by the presence of Jeon Jungkook in your vicinity. And he was right there, in your line of sight. Still at the table, with the pretty girl, but you could tell she was losing his attention. Indeed, his eyes were on you, following your every move. You chose that moment to smirk, swaying your hips provocatively, before looking at Mingyu again.

Mingyu seemed to cower under the intensity in your gaze, even though it wasn’t directed at him. No, your blood was still very much boiling for Jungkook.

“You and your friends are always like that?” Mingyu asked innocently as you took a step closer to him, standing close enough for his voice to carry to your ears even with the loud music.

You shrugged. “Only with pretty boys.”

He shook his head, chuckling lightly. “I’ll take that as a compliment.”

“It was one.”

You shared a smile, though Mingyu seemed too shy, for you. As much as you liked to bring boys out of their shells, he wasn’t one you wanted to play with. He was a client even though your professional relationship was over now.

Unless he chose to come back to you for another tattoo, of course.

Before you could say something, a hand found its way to the small of your back. You smirked knowingly, as the smell of his cologne hit your nose.

“Having fun?” Jungkook asked, leaning close to speak in your ear.

Your eyes were still boring into Mingyu’s gaze when you replied, “Were you getting jealous?”

Mingyu laughed, looking between you and Jungkook. “I have to go to the bathroom.”

He was gone in an instant, but you kept looking at the spot where he had disappeared, refusing to look at Jungkook. You wouldn’t give in to him. After all, he was a client too.

“Well, you were putting on quite the show”, Jungkook replied, hot breath tickling the side of your face. “Y/n.”

Your name, said in that husky tone of his… it had your insides burning white hot.

“Weren’t you busy with…” you trailed off, because you had no idea what the girl’s name had been.

He chuckled manly. “Not when I have a chance to unveil the mystery.”

The hand on the small of your back hadn’t moved, and your focus zeroed in on it as he stroked your back gently, the sweet movement such a stark contrast with the sultriness in his tone that you glanced at him.

A mistake, because the galaxies his eyes held pulled you in their gravity, and this time you knew you wouldn’t be able to step back.

“Oh, maybe if you had dmed me you’d have a chance”, you said, voice low, as your eyes dipped to the piercing on his lip, right as his tongue played with it. You imagined playing with it yourself, as heat pooled between your legs.

How could someone have such a strong effect on you?

He cocked his head to the side, a dangerous look taking over his features as he too glanced at your lips. “I don’t chase girls.”

Was he offering you dominance in the silent battle between you two so easily?

“Then what are you doing here, Jeon Jungkook?”

You knew you had won and so did he. His eyes crinkled with amusement, stars swirling in their depths. “Had to save poor Mingyu, he looked terrified.”

“Oh, he’s a client, he had nothing to worry about.”

“Is that why you’re looking at me like that too?”

The question confused you slightly, threatening to make the victory fall in his camp. “Maybe I look at everyone like that.”

It was a lie. You knew you had never looked at anyone like you were looking at Jungkook, like he was an oasis in the middle of the desert.

Jungkook stepped closer, moving in front of you. You hadn’t realized how tall he was, compared to you, until he was standing right there in front of you, head tilting down to look at you.

“You’re a hungry one, aren’t you?”

“Is there something wrong with it?” you asked.

He chuckled, shaking his head. “No, it makes you easy to read.”

You narrowed your eyes at him, and the victory slipped out of your reach. “What?”

He wet his lips, let them spread into a smirk. “I know I just have to do this”, he said, one hand coming up to your face, thumb brushing your mouth, “to get you to reveal your secrets.”

Maybe you hadn’t lost after all. “In your dreams.”

And you grabbed his thumb, sucking on it gently, tongue playing with it for half a second before you pulled away, taking a step back from Jungkook.

“You won’t have me so easily, Jeon Jungkook.”

He laughed, shaking his head. “You’re really going to make me chase, aren’t you?”

You winked at him. “Isn’t it more fun like that?”

He seemed to ponder it for a time, as the tension between you became easier to deal with. Perhaps because you had put a little distance between you, and his gravity was lesser where you stood.

“I don’t know, Y/n, I don’t know”, he replied. He laughed again, as if in disbelief, his eyes moving down your frame before meeting your own again. “I hadn’t realized how small you were.”

You refused to admit to him you had thought the opposite of him, just a moment ago.

“Do you want a drink?” he offered.

It had you glance at Aera, who was grinding on Eunwoo now, and at Minchae, who danced with her forehead pressed against Jaehyun’s. Maybe you had been looking for salvation, because seeing them busy had a drop of cold sweat forming on your brow.

You couldn’t afford to be alone with Jungkook any longer, or else your body would win against your mind.

“As a client thanking you”, Jungkook quickly added, raising his hands as if to show he was harmless. “And I’ll let you have your little secrets.”

“You’d buy me a drink, without expecting anything in return?”

He shrugged. “I’m not going to ask anything of you, if that’s what you’re worried about.”

And you weren’t at all. Just knew the lava in your blood was going to melt you down if you kept looking at him. So, you looked away once again, this time meeting Aera’s gaze. She glanced between you two pointedly, before her eyes slid to Eunwoo as he said something in her ear.

You hadn’t needed anything more to know what she wanted to tell you, with those pretty big eyes of hers. Go with him. And maybe you were resisting for no other reasons than the fact that Jungkook was very much the type of guy you liked to toy with. Those men that loved themselves far too much, and thought the whole world loved them too.

To be fair, Jungkook was at the receiving end of a lot of love in this world. Far more than you would ever be.

“I like whiskey”, you told him.

He smirked, nodding appreciatively. “It’s a good thing I like it too.” His hand reached for yours, big hand wrapping around your small one, pulling you behind him as he headed towards the bar.

It felt strange, to be led by him, but you took advantage of that time to drop your gaze to his tattooed arm, once again drinking in the sight of the ink on his skin. As if you hadn’t had enough when he had been in your shop two weeks ago.

The tattoos were well done, if you were being honest. Set in his skin by an expert hand. They were different from your style – you were more of a fine or thin line tattoo artist, with a few exceptions along the way. Yet their style fit him well, making him seem manlier than his pretty doe eyes did, as he glanced at you over his shoulder.

Meeting his gaze then felt different, and you hated it. You rather preferred the lust to whatever it was that his gaze was painted with right now. So, you smirked, and his gaze darkened again, pulling you in its stars and galaxies.

You walked up the flight of stairs, heading towards the bar. People moved out of your way, as they recognized Jungkook. They looked at you curiously, but you knew they wouldn’t speak. Or maybe you just hoped they wouldn’t, because he was still firmly holding your hand.

“We’ll have two whiskeys”, he told the barmaid, before finally letting your hand go as he rested an elbow on the bar.

You stopped next to him, glancing once at him, before letting your gaze wander on the array of alcohol on the wall, illuminated by a red light in the ceiling. You knew his eyes were boring into your profile, but you stubbornly kept your gaze on the bottles.

He chuckled once again, and that more than anything had you glancing at him. “What’s funny?” you asked him.

“Nothing.” He shrugged, before grabbing one of the glasses the barmaid had put in front of you. He handed it to you, and you accepted it with a small bow of your head before taking a sip, turning your head away from him. It had his smirk widen into a grin.

“What?” you asked as you turned back towards him

“I’m older than you, am I not?”

Oh, he was good, wasn’t he?

“Maybe”, you replied. You winked at him as he took a sip of his own glass, his eyes not leaving yours.

“You don’t look all that young, so I’d say you’re 24?”

“And you’re what, 26?”

He nodded his head, before winking at you. “See, I told you you’re easy to read.”

You couldn’t help the small laugh you let out this time. “I didn’t even tell you if I really am 24.”

“Well I am 26.”

You nodded a little, taking a sip from your glass. This time, you didn’t look away from him, letting the alcohol roll on your tongue.

“No respect for your elders?”

In all truth, you were 26 too. In Korean age, that is. You didn’t tell it to Jungkook though, letting him connect the dots by himself. And it took him a moment, but his face soon enough lit up with understanding.

“You are 26 too, aren’t you?”

“Maybe I am”, you said, chuckling and he shook his head disapprovingly.

“This is going to become annoying, is it not?”

You cocked your head to the side innocently. “What is?”

“You, refusing to answer a question.” His eyes moved on your features, glancing down at the finger you moved on the rim of your glass.

“Yes, I am 26.”

He smiled, nudging you gently. “See, that wasn’t so hard.”

“Didn’t you say you weren’t going to ask me anything?” You pursed your lips, trying to keep a smirk in.

“A pain in the ass, really.”

His comment took you by surprise, and you burst out laughing. He joined in, seemingly relieved that you had found him funny. When your laughter subsided, you found yourself gazing into his eyes again. Losing your train of thought as he glanced down at your lips again, wetting his own, before running a hand through his hair.

It had you look at his hair, and at the way it almost fell in his eyes. Maybe if it was a tiny bit longer, he wouldn’t be able to look at you with such intensity. Maybe then, you wouldn’t find yourself craving for more, as the silence between you filled with tension again.

“What’s your favourite tattoo?” he asked, out of the blue.

You froze because you did have an answer to that question. One you weren’t willing to give him, and probably never would be.

“I love all of them”, you chose to say. “What’s yours?”

He glanced down at his arm, turning it so he could see the Bulletproof tattoo on his forearm. Your eyes hadn’t dropped to the art yet, and you didn’t miss the way confusion moved in his gaze, quickly followed by a darkness that had nothing to do with lust, before the emotion was gone.

It slapped you across the face. He had looked heartbroken, for half a beat. As if the tattoo held a bad memory – and as your eyes followed his, you could see that it was a cover-up.

You didn’t let the questions in your mind form on your lips, as he turned his arm the other way to show you a snake tattoo.

“I like this one”, he said. “I got it a couple of months ago.”

Your hand darted out between you, until your fingers grazed the skin of his tattoo, following the lines. “You like dark and thick tattoos, don’t you?”

“I do”, he said, and he took you by surprise as he added, “I know they aren’t your type”.

They really weren’t, and you were surprised he knew. “You have been stalking me, haven’t you?”

He shrugged. “I’d be lying if I said I haven’t taken a look at your Instagram.”

And yet he hadn’t dmed you. Perhaps he liked the chase more than he wanted to admit, when it was in his favour.

“Do you like fine line tattoos?” you asked him.

He met your gaze, finally looking up from the art on his arm. “I’d like to have one, if you’re the one that’s going to put it on my skin.”

So, the flirting was back. You tried not to let your mind wander to the darkness you had seen in his eyes – as if all the galaxies and stars had perished – and rather liked to tell yourself you succeeded.

“As I told you two weeks ago, you know where to find me.”

He drank from his whiskey, rolling it in his mouth before he swallowed. “Then I’ll have to come visit you soon.”

“My door is always open for you.”

He chuckled, as he watched you sip from your glass.

“You don’t drink fast, do you?”

“I like to enjoy my whiskey”, you said, shrugging your shoulders. “This one is a good one.”

He smirked. “I wouldn’t get something cheap for you.”

You rolled your eyes, though a playful smile moved on your lips. “Well then, thank you, Jeon Jungkook.”

You fell silent again, and you met the intensity that was simpering from his gaze once more. You didn’t shy away from it, not even as your mind wondered what the cause behind it was. If Jeon Jungkook gave himself away far too much because he was trying to forget something, or maybe to forget someone. To fuck them out of his system, like Aera had suggested you’d do.

You let him flirt, and flirted back without a single ounce of shame, even as he moved a little closer to you, one hand resting on your hip, as you pointed to where your own snake tattoo was. His thumb brushed the spot over the fabric, and it burned so hard you took in a sharp breath.

When he met your gaze, you could tell something had changed. And you weren’t sure if it was in you, or if it was in him, that the change had happened. Just that your mind was losing its battle.

“I thought you’d want to keep your tattoos a secret”, Jungkook murmured.

You were currently on your second glass of whiskey, and the rich peppery-oak alcohol was starting to numb your mind a little. Your mind and your inhibitions, it seemed.

“I only told you because you also have a snake tattoo”, you said.

He cocked an eyebrow. “I doubt yours looks like mine.”

It was an open door if you had ever seen one.

“Are you trying to get me to let you look at it?” you asked, tilting your head to the side.

He wet his lips, before shrugging his shoulders, though he remained silent. Just kept his heavy gaze on you; eyes brimming with gravity and stars, black holes and everything deep space holds. It pulled you in, ensnared you better than anything could have had. Better than his words could, better than the memory of his fingers on your hip could.

“Will you be nice and not touch, if I let you look at it?” you asked, voice dripping with lust.

It took even you by surprise, as his eyes trailed down to the spot you had indicated. It felt as if he was undressing you, and you only then realized how much you actually wanted him to do so.

Maybe Aera was right, and you just needed to fuck him out of your system.

“I won’t do anything you don’t ask me to do”, he replied, voice so low it sounded like a growl.

And his pretty big eyes were set in that same dangerous look, the one that held more black holes than stars, the one you couldn’t escape from. So, you took a step forward, brushed a hand on his bicep, before glancing up at his face. “Well then maybe we should find somewhere private.”

He nodded, a smirk spreading on his lips. “It’s a good thing I know just the place.”

“Then show me the way.” You finished your glass, holding out your hand for him to take. His eyes dropped to it, and you were surprised at the gentleness his fingers took on as they gently wrapped around your own. The touch was so light you barely even were sure it was there, as if he was afraid he’d crush your fingers if he held onto you.

Such a gentle touch, for the boy with galaxies in his eyes.

*****

“Where are you bringing me?” you asked, giggling a little as Jungkook pulled you behind him in the street, the orange glow of the streetlights painting the scene in a familiar tone.

It made you feel young, as if you were still a teenager, breaking rules you didn’t even know existed.

“We’re almost there”, Jungkook said, and he walked a little faster.

Your tiny legs had to break into a small jog to keep up with him, and you cursed at him under your breath.

“What if someone sees us?” you asked.

It was a useless question. The streets were completely empty, save for you, the man in front of you, and the crescent of the moon in the sky.

“Then I’m in for one hell of a scolding”, he replied truthfully. He chuckled, glancing over his shoulders. “Good thing we’re here.”

You looked around as he dropped your hand, moving towards the garage door to your left. Your brows creased in confusion, even more so as he pressed a code in next to the door, and it started sliding up.

“Where are we?” you asked, but Jungkook ignored your question as he fished keys out of his pocket to unlock the glass door that had appeared behind the garage one.

You caught sight of a drum lesson ad on the glass, though Jungkook grabbed your hand to pull you in before you could say anything.

The front room of the music studio was small, only illuminated by the neon lights outside. The tile floor reflected the light, just enough for you to see Jungkook was leading you towards a door in the back, one that had no windows whatsoever.

The next room was dark, save for the rectangle of light that came from outside. Jungkook seemed to know his way around, because you heard his feet scuffling on the floor as he made his way in, leaving you at the door. A few seconds later, the sound stopped, and fairy lights lit up.

It indeed was a music studio, with two complete sets of drums on each side of it, along with a few guitars on the wall. Fairy lights were hung up where the ceiling met the walls, circling the whole room, creating an atmosphere that was far more romantic than the posters that decorated the room – heavy metal groups, from the looks of it.

Except the single BTS one, white in the sea of darker ones, that had Jungkook’s autograph on it.

“I take drum lessons here”, Jungkook said, and you glanced at him, standing on the other side of the room.

His hands had found their way to his pockets, and he was looking at you with a curious look. He almost looked vulnerable, with those big doe eyes of his.

“Do you bring a lot of girls here?” you asked as you moved into the space, walking behind one of the drum sets to make your way to the BTS poster.

Jungkook chuckled, and once again it didn’t sound flirtatious at all. Just vulnerable, like he was afraid you’d judge him. “No, I don’t.”

That made you look at him, your gaze caressing his features until it landed on the lip piercing he was biting at.

“Don’t lie to me”, you whispered, and you looked away, because his eyes had lost their intensity, and he looked far too honest for your own good.

“I’m showing you a piece of me, because you said you’d show me a piece of you”, he said, shrugging his shoulders. As if it was normal for him to do something like that. It was so sweet it had you looking at him again. “Just trying to make you comfortable”, he finished.

You pondered for a time, lips pouting a little as your eyes lost their focus on the room around you. “What makes you think I’m not comfortable around you?”

He had a winning smirk on his lips when you looked at him again. “Because you keep squirming under my gaze?”

Jeon Jungkook definitely knew what he was doing. Showing a little bit of vulnerability, just to ensnare you further, until you were so tangled up in his web he could eat you alive. And although you usually were one to bite back, you found he was indeed right.

You were squirming under his gaze. And it rendered you speechless, as he took a step toward you. You didn’t let him finish crossing the distance between you, instead turning to look at the poster.

“It’s so out of place”, you said, motioning to it. Trying to switch the subject, which proved to be completely useless as Jungkook stopped behind you, far enough so he didn’t touch you, but close enough so you could feel him right there.

He was radiating a warmth that had your mind going into overdrive.

“Why is that?” he asked, and your breath hitched in your throat as he brushed your hair off from your shoulder, revealing your neck. He chuckled then, before leaning in to whisper in your ear. “Relax, I’m just trying to take a good look at your sun tattoo.”

You gulped, staying still as you assumed his eyes were roaming around the skin of your neck, landing on the tattoo. He chuckled, before making you turn around.

“I have a seven, in the exact same spot”, he told you, before turning his head to show you.

You couldn’t resist reaching up to trace your finger along the lines of the tattoo, ever so gently, and Jungkook stiffened under your touch, as if just that had been enough for lust to erupt inside of him.

Much like it had been enough for you too.

“For the seven members?” you asked, and your hand finally fell back at your side.

He nodded, and galaxies shone as he looked at you. “Yeah.”

Another silence, another beat of tension.

You were going insane.

“Are you going to show me your other tattoos, now?” he asked, right as his eyes dropped to your mouth. Staying there, as you bit at your lower lip.

It was a nervous habit of yours, but it seemed to do something to him.

“Here?”

He wet his lips, his tongue pushing on the inside of his cheek as his head tilted to the side. “It’s just us two.”

“What if someone comes in?”

He looked towards the studio door, and it seemed to take everything in him to decide to move. But he did, walking towards the door and closing it.

Locking it.

“I doubt someone would come here at this hour, but just to be sure”, he said, as he prowled towards you, taking his sweet time.

His eyes moved down to the side of your hip, boring through the fabric. You could feel their burning kiss over the snake on your skin, and you instinctively reached down, hiding the spot with your hand.

Not that it changed anything.

“You can’t touch”, you murmured.

And you were glad you were wearing a skirt, because watching his eyes following it as it inched upwards on your thighs had heat pooling between your legs.

“I promise I won’t”, he whispered, stopping so close to you you could feel his heat again.

You pulled your skirt all the way up, turning a little until he could see the snake. The snake and your lacy white thong, though most of you was still hidden.

He breathed in sharply, eyes looking down at you. You were so close you doubted he could have a good view, so you took a step back. It led to you leaning against the wall, as his galaxies drank you in.

“It suits you well”, he said, eyes moving up your frame until he met your gaze.

“You think so?” You cocked your head to the side, as he nodded. “Do you want to touch it?”

He smirked, shaking his head slightly. “You are dangerous.”

“So are you, Jeon Jungkook.”

“But I’m a client, am I not?”

Common sense couldn’t cut through the lust clouding your mind. “I touched your tattoos, it’s only fair you touch mine, no?”

He played with his piercing, eyes boring into yours, as you were still holding your skirt up. “What do you want me to touch you with?”

It was your turn to suck in a sharp breath. “You can start with your fingers.”

He nodded, and his tattooed hand reached out. His touch was light, as he followed the body of the snake, but it left a burning trail behind it. “Just my fingers?”

You were going to die tonight, you were pretty sure of it now.

“What else do you want to touch me with?”

He laughed, dangerously. “You’re the one in control, Y/n. What do you want me to do?”

It surprised you, that he let you have control. But maybe he was relinquishing it just to pull you into his gravity further, letting you think you had the advantage until you were stuck on his horizon, heading for the singularity at the middle of the universe in his eyes.

“What do you like to do, with your fingers?”

Burning. You were burning, and so was he, with his dark gaze filled with stars and galaxies. So much so that you thought you’d combust.

His fingers moved, ever so slowly, heading closer to the heat between your legs. “Do you want me to touch you there?” he asked, as his digits barely even grazed you above your panties.

Your panties were getting more soaked by the seconds, and your eyes fluttered close. “We shouldn’t.”

His hand moved away from you, and you wanted to curse him. Until he spoke. “We can just do it for fun, you know.”

You chuckled. “That never works out.”

“But it’s fun while it lasts.”

He was right. And you liked that fun too, the thrilling of giving your body while your heart stayed unavailable, and your mind stayed unreachable. But Jeon Jungkook was treacherous, with his gravity and stars: he had already invaded your mind.

“Touch me”, you breathed, and your eyelids fluttered open so you could see the emotions on his face. The lust and the desire and the passion. They had taken over him too.

“Just my fingers?” He cocked his head to the side, and it was almost arrogant, in a male way that did wonders to your already soaked pussy.

“You’re afraid you can’t get me off with just your fingers?” you asked, smirking as surprise moved on his features.

He hadn’t expected you to still have a bite in you, hadn’t he?

“Oh, I’m not worried”, he said, right as he pressed his thumb against your middle, right where your juice was already seeping through the fabric of your thong. “You’re already so wet.”

You tried to hold his gaze as his thumb moved up, pressing against your clit, but as soon as it reached the bundle of nerves, your eyes shut, and you rested your head against the wall.

He moved his thumb in slow circles, never pressing harder, teasing you with just enough sensitivity for your body to be craving more. It wasn’t enough to get you off at all, just enough to frustrate your pussy, and it clenched around nothing.

He played with you a little longer, and he was smirking when you finally found the strength to meet his gaze again.

“What are you doing?” you asked.

He shrugged. “Taking my time to unravel the mystery.”

He pressed harder then, and a breathy sound fell from your mouth.

“Stop teasing”, you warned him.

“Or what?”

You bit your lip in frustration. “Do you want me to touch you?”

“No”, he said. “I want to play with you.”

It was a red flag if you had ever seen one. Why then was red your favourite color?

“Play with me harder and faster”, you told him.

He obeyed, his other hand moving to pull your soaked panties to the side, before he pressed his thumb back on your clit. Your eyes shut again, and he slid his thumb between your lips, to collect your juices, before moving back up to your clit.

“Like that?” he asked, punctuating his question with a harder touch, and you let out another breathy sound. He chuckled, and stopped moving for a second. “You are so hot.”

And then, it was like something had clicked in his head. As if his galaxies had swallowed him whole too, and he had lost control of himself. Because he started moving in quick circles, with just the perfect pressure, and the hand that was holding your panties to the side started playing with your lips, until a long finger pushed inside of you, spreading your walls lightly.

He cursed then, a small word that made you clench around him, as his finger curled to find that perfect spot.

“You’re so fucking wet.”

It was true, you were drenched, pussy making squelching sounds as he started pumping in and out, adding another finger. You moaned, one of your hands moving to your breast, massaging it through your shirt and your bra, and your eyes slid open.

He had a feral look on his face, almost as if he was in pain, from just touching you with his fingers. But you liked the tease too, and as much as you knew his piercing would do wonders against you, you didn’t ask him for more.

Maybe you were more in control than you felt like you were, even though you were slowly unraveling, inching closer to your high.

The wet sounds between your legs were pornographic, as he picked up the pace, eyes locked with yours, until he slid his gaze down between your legs, where his hands were working on you.

“You’re so wet I’ve got juice dripping from my wrist”, he groaned, and you moaned louder as he added a third finger, stretching you open wide.

Your grip on your skirt faltered, and it fell on his arm, as he kept fingering you like his life depended on it. You were getting closer, pleasure building up in the pit of your stomach, and your eyes struggled to keep looking at him. He was watching you, studying your every move, searching for every little tell your body gave him. And it gave many, as your hand grabbed his wrist, nails digging in his skin.

He hissed, though he just started moving faster, as if he was still holding back.

He was going to be the death of you.

Your knees buckled, with the increase in speed, and Jungkook slowed down, looking between your eyes.

“Do you need to lie down?”

You didn’t reply, instead rocking your hips forward, fucking yourself on his fingers. He smirked, before pulling away, leaving you empty, with your juices dropping on the ground.

“Lie down”, he ordered, motioning towards the other side of the room.

It took a moment for your eyes to adjust, but you noticed a leather couch over there. You made a step towards it, but Jungkook grabbed your wrist, with the hand whose thumb had been playing with your clit. He then reached up with his other hand, fingers glistening with your juices grazing your lips.

Your tongue darted out, licking his fingers, until he pushed them in your mouth. You sucked on his digits, your tongue moving against the pads, eyes boring into his. Into the blackness of his eyes. It felt like you were free falling, and you reached between you, hand blindly aiming for the imprint of his dick.

He took a step back, pulling his fingers out of your mouth as he tutted. “I told you not to touch me, didn’t I?”

“Why?” you asked, unable to help yourself.

He shrugged, winking at you. “We need to keep some of the mystery alive.”

You wanted to roll your eyes at him, but then his hand fell to your breast, massaging it a little, much like you had been doing earlier.

“Don’t you have another tattoo?” he asked.

That one you weren’t ready to show him. At all. So you shrugged, a little like he just had, before heading to the couch. Sitting on it, eyes searching his gaze as he moved closer. The predator and its prey, stuck in their deathly dance.

“Do you want me to touch you with something else?” he asked.

You chuckled. “Still don’t believe you can get me off with just your fingers?”

Without any warning, Jungkook pulled on your ankles, until your ass was on the edge of the couch. He kneeled on the floor between your open legs, and his hands caressed the skin of your thighs as they moved up, inching closer to your heat again, pulling your skirt up.

“I know I can, I just want to make you feel good.”

He grabbed your panties, pulling them down your legs, moving to the side a little so he could get them off your right leg. He let them dangle from your left leg, as his eyes fell from your own gaze to your pussy.

“You are so fucking hot”, he said, and he wet his lips, as if he was a starved man and you, the last meal on Earth.

“You want to eat me out?” you asked.

He chuckled. “I won’t eat you out before I’ve even kissed you”, he said. “Besides, I want to see you come on my hands first.”

On that note, he pushed two fingers inside of you again, and your head threw back, resting against the couch.

“Fuck…” you cursed.

Another manly chuckle escaped him as he established a slower rhythm this time. He used his thumb to rub circles on your clit again, as his other hand pushed your legs open wider.

“So fucking wet…”

“Go faster”, you breathed.

He tutted again. “Nobody has ever taught you how to say please, mmh?”

Jeon Jungkook had a begging kink?

“Just fucking do it”, you growled, as the knot in your core tightened, refusing to uncoil.

His hand pulled out, and he slapped your pussy. The initial shock had you seeing stars, and you looked down at him, at him and the devilish look on his face.

“Be a good girl and ask nicely”, he said.

You bit down on your lip, almost enough to draw blood. He waited, looking at you pointedly as his digits hovered at your entrance, waiting for the word to dive in again.

“Please go faster”, you replied, in almost a whine, and the victorious smirk on his lips made you see stars again.

His fingers, too, as they pushed in and out once, before pumping in and out so quickly you couldn’t tell where one movement ended and the other began. The pleasure all blended in together, as his thumb moved back to work on your sensitive clit.

You moaned, clenching on his fingers and he growled, adding scissoring motions to the whole ordeal.

“I’m going to come”, you said, right as the knot built up again.

It was starting to uncoil when Jungkook said, “Come for me, pretty girl”.

And you did, with a high-pitched moan that rang in your ears as the first wave of your orgasm hit you, bringing you to a height you had never visited before. Your pussy pulsed around his fingers, and he slowed down to milk your orgasm out of you as the second wave crashed into you.

“Fuck”, you breathed, and one of your hands grabbed his wrist again, holding onto him as his fingers fucked into you.

The third wave was a little lesser, though he kept moving, eyes following you through the waves of your pleasure. Until he stopped feeling you clenching. Then his thumb stopped moving, but his fingers stayed deep inside of you, still curling up, still playing with your g-spot.

“Have you ever squirted before?” he asked.

You met his gaze, gulping. “No guy has ever made me squirt”, you replied truthfully, your mind far too lust-filled for you to craft a flirty lie.

He pulled his fingers out of you to make you lie down on the couch, as you watched him through your heavy lids. He then put a knee on the couch, his other leg finding footing on the ground, before his tattooed hand moved between your legs again.

“Happy to oblige.”

Your eyes widened just a little as he dove right in, fingers curling up to meet your oversensitive g-spot. You cried out, and when you moved to reach between you two, Jungkook grabbed your hands and put them over your head, holding you in place.

You squirmed a little, but he just kept going, kept pushing against your g-spot, so quickly and hard that your eyes lost all their focus. Your legs started shaking, and you let out a string of broken moans. The squelching sound became louder, and you tried to close your thighs around his wrist, as if searching for more pressure.

“Let go when you want”, he breathed and you moaned in response, right as another knot tightened in your belly.

A completely different one, that ached just a little, and your eyes found his. Found his galaxies, and dove right in, swam right into their depths, until the knot exploded and you squirted, his fingers leaving your tight walls to circle your clit in a frenetic dance.

And as soon as you finished, he went right back in, pulling another orgasm out of you as if it was nothing. As if you were just playdough underneath his fingers. Maybe you were, and he was just shaping you up, until you resembled more of a mess than a living thing, as you kept moaning underneath him.

You lost count of how many times he made you come. Just knew that your mind was so blissed out you couldn’t really remember your name. All you knew were his fingers in you, and when they left you empty, your eyes fluttered open.

The lights looked different, with the ecstasy you were swimming in. His features were different too, as if he was changed, by the pleasure he had given you. The galaxies were still there, but they were gentler. Softer. Maybe because you had visited their depths already.

Or so you liked to tell yourself.

“Look at you, making a mess out of the leather couch”, he said, and it took a moment for his words to register. For you to prop yourself up on your elbows, and see the puddle between your legs.

“Holy fuck”, you muttered, falling back down as your arms gave out.

He laughed, and you watched as he scanned the room for something to clean the mess with. “I’ll be right back.”

He got up, moving out of the room, leaving you alone in that ocean of bliss you were floating in. And it felt better than anything you had ever felt – as if you had reached nirvana. You only hoped it would last.

“There you go”, he said as he came back, with paper towels he had probably fished from the bathroom. He had brought actual toilet paper too, and he handed that to you as he started cleaning the couch.

You slowly started cleaning yourself up. Your hands shook a little with the afterglow of ecstasy now that you were starting to come down.

“Holy fuck”, you said again, and Jungkook laughed.

He met your gaze, and his face was lit up from within, as if he had reached peak happiness. It was the strangest thing to see, after all the lust it had held a moment ago. As if making you come like that had been enough to get him off too.

“You liked that?”

You held his gaze, cocking an eyebrow. “Liked?” You laughed airily, shaking your head in disbelief. “What the hell was that?”

He shrugged, as if what he had just pulled out of you was the easiest thing he had ever done. “I made you squirt.”

You gave him a no-bullshit look.

“Had you never squirted before at all?” he enquired, curiosity taking over his features.

You slowly shook your head. “I came before, but I didn’t… not like that.”

His lips spread into a grin. “I’m glad I’m the first one.”

He looked cute, with that grin on his lips. It made his eyes crinkle at the corners, and his cheeks puff up just a little. It made the galaxies look like promises of uncharted territory, a territory you wanted to explore.

You pushed yourself up again, this time successfully sitting. “I’m pretty sure we ruined the couch”, you said, as your eyes looked at the spot Jungkook had just finished cleaning up.

“I’ll come back tomorrow with stuff to actually clean the leather”, he reassured you. “They are closed tomorrow, so no one will know.”

It hit you then, that he had just pulled out of you a dozen of the most mind-blowing orgasms you had ever had, all in the middle of a public space.

You would have been lying if you said it didn’t turn you on even more.

“Should we add your mess, then?” you asked.

A hint of that same passion moved back into his eyes, and he breathed in sharply. It had you looking down at the erection that was pressing against his pants.

“I can make you feel good too.”

He was shaking his head slightly when you looked up. “Not tonight.”

You cocked your head to the side. “You don’t want me to touch you?”

“Oh, believe me, I do”, he said, chuckling a little. “But tonight was about you, and about making you comfortable.”

You would have asked why, had your heart not filled with a strange warmth at his words. You pushed the foreign feeling away, focusing on the lingering lust in you.

“I won’t give myself to you again”, you told him, wetting your lips. Trying to push out of the black holes he had ensnared you with. Trying to swim out of his galaxies, and return to your own body.

He laughed, and said in a knowing tone, “Of course you won’t, Y/n. Of course you won’t.”

Perhaps it was already too late for you.

*****

Art had always been an escape for you. Body art, of all shapes and forms. When you were a kid, you used to draw on your body, until you discovered body paint. Then you did that for a while, until you had met Kim Soobin. Three years older than you, with a full sleeve of tattoos and a love for poetry, Soobin had been the first man you had ever loved. He had taught you how to tattoo, and had left his legacy on your skin, and on your heart.

Soobin had trained you, before you had opened your shop. Had brought in your first clients, speaking praises of you until you were the talk of the field, and people found themselves curious to find out who was that new talent. Soon enough, you didn’t need Soobin anymore, to make a name out of yourself, but you had kept him around.

Young love never lasts, but with him, it did. And sometimes, loving isn’t enough. The universe has different plans, and suddenly you take a side road, and you lose the thing that matters the most. That was what happened with Soobin – only he had been the one to take the side road. He had been the one driving in heavy rain, and he had been the one to die at the hands of a drunk truck driver.

Sometimes, you wondered if you’d still have him around, hadn’t it been for the few fractions of seconds that had led to the truck hitting his car head on. You liked to tell yourself that you would have, and that you’d be considering getting married.

Maybe that, most of all, rendered you completely unavailable for anyone else. And it was okay, it wasn’t like you were looking. You rather enjoyed your temporary connections, and the freedom that it allowed you.

You sighed, pushing your hair behind your ear. Your evening client hadn’t shown up, which had led to you deciding to play with some body paint, trying to figure out what your next tattoo could be. And though you already had a dagger tattooed on your ribs, you found yourself painting one on your thigh, but this time it was made of night and stars.

Perhaps Jeon Jungkook’s effect on you was lasting longer than you had expected it would.

You startled as your phone started ringing, Aera’s name lighting up the screen. You looked down at your paint-covered fingers, before looking at your phone again. Letting it ring until it fell into silence. And as silence filled the air around you again, you focused on your thigh once more. Fell back into the galaxies, and the memories that they held.

No man had ever made you feel as good as Jungkook had. Not even Soobin. And Jungkook had been sweet about it. You had expected him to be cocky, after the whole ordeal, but he had offered you a drink of water. Had asked you if you wanted to eat something, or if you preferred going home. When you had chosen the latter, he had smiled sweetly, before calling you a taxi. He hadn’t talked about seeing you again, and hadn’t contacted you after that.

Maybe that, more than anything, was the reason why you were painting stars and galaxies on your skin right now.

You scoffed, looking up from your thigh, your eyes darting to the vitrine of your shop, and to the street behind it. It was raining heavily, dark clouds looming low on the horizon, and really you felt like going home. Going home and cozying up into a soft blanket, but you didn’t like the rain.

Didn’t want to step out and think about Soobin.

It was a good thing you had a bedroll, in your office. A good thing indeed.

You pushed yourself up, wincing as you left a trail of fingerprints on the floor where you had been sitting. It was nothing you couldn’t clean with water, but it still annoyed you: you liked your shop pristine, no matter if clients were going to show up or not.

You were halfway to the bathroom when the bells of the door cut through the silence, and you stopped, your eyes sliding to the man walking in.

There really was no escaping galaxies, uh?

“Hi”, a very wet Jungkook said, as he shook his hair of the rain. Droplets fell all around him, and it took a moment for his eyes to meet yours. And then they dipped to your legs, and to the body paint on your thigh. A smirk met his lips at the sight of it, and then he looked up again. “What are you doing?”

You were lucky you had chosen to wear a skirt to work – with a weird twist of fate, it was that same skirt you had been wearing the last time you had seen Jungkook – because the skirt hid the top half of your art, the one with the galaxies.

The one you had painted first.

“Body painting”, you replied, cocking an eyebrow. “What else does it look like I’m doing?”

He laughed a sweet laugh that had his eyes crinkling at the corners. “Nothing.” He looked around your shop, as if curious to see if it had changed.

It hadn’t. The only thing that had changed was between you. It was the fact that he had made you squirt like he had, that night a week and a half ago.

“What are you doing here?” you asked, and your eyes followed his hands as they moved to his hair, pushing the wet locks back. It made his biceps pop out a little, and you clenched your teeth at the attraction it pulled out of you.

He shrugged, looking down at the puddle that was forming at his feet. “Sorry for wetting the floor like that.”

“No worries”, you said. You waited for his next words, head tilting to the side, as he met your gaze again.

“I was thinking about getting a new tattoo”, he explained. “Thought you’d be the right person to go to for that.”

A small parallel to the night he had walked in with his friends, it seemed.

“You need to start scheduling appointments”, you reprimanded him, before looking down at yourself. “Let me get cleaned up first.”

He nodded, hands digging in the pockets of his black joggers. And maybe you were stupid, for thinking that Jungkook was a mature man, because when you walked back out of the bathroom, he had paint all over his hands too.

“Oh Gosh”, you let out, and he looked at you from the spot where he was kneeling, sitting back on his heels.

His face took on a startled expression, before he let out a laugh. “Couldn’t help myself. I’ve never used body paint before.”

Something knocked at the back of your mind, but you tried to lock it up: you wouldn’t get horny about Jeon Jungkook painting on you in your tattoo shop.

“You’re worse than a child”, you grumbled as you walked towards him. “You’re going to make a mess.”

He shrugged sheepishly. “I’ll clean up if I do.”

You stopped next to him, cocking an eyebrow. “Will you?”

Now, his face fell into a knowing smirk. “I think you’d be the one to know that I clean up after making a mess.”

You remained silent, as you pursed your lips. As his words left a trail of goosebumps on your skin, that went right down to your core. That ignited a fire there again.

You had tried touching yourself like he had touched you, but there was nothing like those damn fingers of his.

“You don’t talk to me for a week and a half, and then you just come back like that?” you asked, still looking down.

You felt tall, for a moment, and towering over him was way too sweet, for your challenged-filled heart. It gave you even more confidence than you naturally had.

“Would you have liked for me to talk to you?”

You held his inquisitive gaze, doing your best not to let your eyes dip to the lips he wet. “You are hard to follow, Jeon Jungkook.”

He shrugged, before reaching between you. Painting a line on the side of your calf.

“I thought you liked enigmas.”

You gulped, as his hand moved up. You let it reach your thigh before you swatted it away.

“Not when they’re a ghost in my life except when they get horny”, you said, voice low, as you let your gaze fill with the feelings his fingers on your skin had raised in you.

His smirk only widened. “Then good thing I’m here to talk to you about something.”

And before you could say anything else, Jungkook grabbed the back of your legs, making you fall on top of him. You yelped, catching yourself on his shoulders as you ended up straddling him.

“What the fuck, Jeon?” you growled, trying to push yourself away from him. His hands that were holding your legs slid up, under your skirt, until they were resting right below your ass. “That hurt.”

And it had, the shock of your knees on the hardwood floor sending a shot of pain up your spine. You’d definitely have bruises tomorrow.

“I’m sorry”, he said, eyes widening.

That caught your attention. From up close, his eyes held more light than they usually did, as if the galaxies were bigger, closer. And maybe they were, and maybe their gravity was twice as strong, because you found yourself leaning in. Jumping back in his eyes without even an ounce of hesitation.

After all, you were a sucker for outer space.

“Are you okay?” he asked.

It shook you out of your stare, and you pulled at some dry skin on your bottom lip. “I’ll be fine.” You paused, exhaling deeply as your eyes dipped to the piercing he was playing with. “What do you want?”

He smiled then. He was the kind of person who smiled with their eyes first, until their happiness took over the whole of their features, even warming up the space around them.

It made him really hard to look away from.

“I was thinking we could start hanging out more”, he said, looking between your two eyes.

As if he was searching for answers he hadn’t even asked questions about.

“You don’t text me at all and then you think about us hanging out?”

“I’ve been thinking about you.” He chuckled, head cocking to the side. “And I don’t text anyone, ask my friends.”

You stayed silent, trying to determine if there was truth in his eyes. It was hard to tell, with all the stars and galaxies. And you would be damned if you admitted to him you had been thinking about him too.

“Why do you want to hang out with me?”

The question hung heavily in the air between you two. It made his face fall a lot more serious, a lot more dangerous, as he pursed his lips, a crease appearing between his eyebrows. As if you were making him think really hard.

You hoped it was a good sign.

“Do I need to have a reason?” he asked.

Maybe he didn’t really. Maybe you just didn’t trust him at all, with how he made your body react.

“You just want to fuck around”, you stated, because really there was no other reasons you could see.

He shrugged again. “Maybe. But I want it to be with you.”

“Why me?”

He thought for a long time again, and you watched the emotions that moved in his gaze as he did so. And there were a lot of them. Jeon Jungkook was an open book, when you were sitting in his lap.

“I don’t know, you’re really attractive.” He chuckled, shaking his head a little. “You’ve been on my mind since that… night.” His eyes dipped to your lips. “I guess I want more of you.”

It made heat pool between your legs, to have Jeon Jungkook admit he wanted you. So much so that you found your resistance dwindling away.

“I don’t usually have sex with people more than once”, you told him, awaiting his reply with your head cocked to the side.

He wet his lips. “Me neither. But we haven’t had sex, have we?”

It was your turn to search the galaxies in his eyes for an answer to a question you didn’t know. Because you wanted him, hadn’t fucked him out of your system yet. No, he had still been very much so haunting you every night, even more now that you knew just how good he could make you feel. And what would be wrong about having casual sex with him?

You knew he’d always make you feel good.

“You can say no if you don’t want to”, he said as you stayed silent. “I thought I’d ask...”

“What’s in it for me, if I say yes?”

He smirked then, as you gave him the advantage.

You always did, didn’t you?

“Didn’t I make you feel good, that night?” he asked. You nodded, eyelids feeling suddenly heavy with lust at the reminder. “If you’re a good girl, I can make you feel good like that again.”

You tutted, pushing his shoulders back a little. It was awkward, with the position, but he let you lead him until he was lying on the floor, with you on top of him.

“Maybe if you’re a good boy I’ll let you touch me again.”

You breathed the words against his lips, before grabbing his hands and putting them over his head. Glancing at his painted fingertips, you let out a sigh.

“I’m pretty sure you’ve ruined my skirt now.”

He gulped, eyes half shut. “I’ll buy you a new one.”

You pressed a small kiss to the corner of his lips and his eyes fell all the way shut. It severed the connection to the galaxies, and brought you right back to reality. Brought you right back to the fact that you didn’t do relationships like that, because it was a betrayal, to how you truly felt inside.

Soobin still occupied too much of your heart, for you to be willing to risk letting someone else in.

But casual sex… it didn’t mean falling in love. It meant trusting someone enough to let them make you feel good, repeatedly, as you made them feel good too. The thought of it was thrilling, even if Jungkook had just barely hinted at it.

And maybe you had always liked a little risk.

“What do you like, Jeon Jungkook?” you asked as you moved to his neck.

You nibbled at the spot beneath his ear, nose grazing his earrings.

“I like to be in control”, he whispered, and it made you freeze for a moment. Because so did you.

“Then how is it going to work?” you asked. “I like it too.”

He chuckled, a deep sound that reverberated through his chest. “Well, I can let you have some control once in a while.”

You nodded, before sitting up, until your core was pressed against his dick, even though he wasn’t really hard yet. His eyes fluttered open, and their gravity pulled you in once again.

“We should establish rules”, you said, voice low and sultry, as you rolled your hips.

“Yeah”, he breathed. He sat up quickly, hands finding their way back under your skirt. Right on your ass, and he made you grind on him again. “We should see each other at least once a week.”

Were you really going to do this?

“You’ll have to text me, if you want to see me that often”, you murmured, eyes fluttering closed as he pushed into you, just a little, the friction hitting your clit.

“I can do that.” It was said like a promise, that he breathed against your lips as he leaned his forehead against yours. “If we sleep with someone else, we have to use protection.”

It was your turn to roll your hips. “You don’t want to use protection with me?”

“I want to feel every inch of your tight little pussy against me.”

You gulped then, as you started feeling wetness pooling between your legs, soaking your panties. “Good thing I take the pill.”

He chuckled. “That was my next rule.”

“Nu-uh”, you said, shaking your head a little. “It’s my turn to make a rule, isn’t it?”

He remained obediently silent.

“You can’t show up at my work”, you said.

The sound he made resembled a small whine, as you grinded on him again.

“But that’s fun”, he said.

One of your hands got lost in his wet curls, and you pulled at them a little, until his forehead didn’t touch yours anymore. “You like a little bit of exhibitionism?”

You asked the question innocently, batting your eyelashes.

“If you’re comfortable with it”, he replied, meeting your gaze with his own intensity.

His eyes had been taken over by black holes, and you felt yourself falling further in.

“If you let me be in control once in a while, I can do a little bit of public space fun.”

He leaned forward, grabbing your bottom lip between his teeth. He sucked on it, and you let out a breathy sound as he let go of it.

“Consider it done.” He made you grind on him again, and your eyes shut at the feeling of his bulge against you.

He wasn’t hard yet, but he definitely was halfway there. And by the feel of the bulge in his sweats, you knew Jeon Jungkook packed a lot more than you had thought.

Perhaps there was a reason behind his confidence other than that of being a renowned idol.

“No feelings”, he said then. It made you laugh, because this whole ordeal was stupid.

You were making a deal with the devil.

“No feelings”, you agreed. “You’re lucky I don’t fall in love.”

“Neither do I.”

You kissed him then, pulling him closer as you grinded into him, moaning as his tongue met yours. And when you pulled away, you smirked.

“No kissing.”

His eyes widened, and he stilled for a moment. “Then why did you just kiss me?”

“You said you didn’t want to eat me out before kissing me.” You winked at him. “Now you can.”

He let out a laugh, that contrasted deeply with the heated atmosphere that had taken over the shop. It had you look away, glancing at the door. The unlocked door, through which anyone could come in. Your eyes skimmed over the vitrine too, and you knew people could see you, if they were to turn their head as they’d walk past.

As much as it seemed to turn Jungkook on, you weren’t willing to risk your reputation as a tattoo artist for him. You doubted he’d like destroying his own reputation too.

“Let’s go in my office”, you said.

He leaned his forehead against yours, hands sliding from your ass to your thighs. “Don’t you have other rules in mind?”

You only had one: let’s not do it and forget you ever asked. But the smell of his expensive cologne and the warmth of his body so close to yours rendered your mind completely useless. That, and the fact that you were swimming in galaxies now.

“Do you?”

“Let’s make it strictly business”, he said, looking right into your eyes.

There was a vulnerability in his gaze then. It reminded you of the cover-up tattoo, and of the heartbreak that had visited his gaze for a moment, that night.

Jeon Jungkook looked afraid, under the intensity in your gaze.

“I agree”, you whispered.

And maybe you only agreed because you were afraid too.

He smiled, winking at you. “Then let’s head to your office. I’ve been starving for a taste of you.”

You chuckled, before standing. “In your dreams, Jeon Jungkook.”

He followed you up. “Oh, I’m about to make my dreams come to life.”

The wetness between your legs was almost aching, just from his words. Just from the perspective of what you were going to do with him. What you knew he could do to you, with just his fingers.

“Not tonight.” You winked at him, before turning away and walking to the door leading to your office. He followed you, lazily, and you let your hips sway just a little more than necessary – something told you Jeon Jungkook was an ass man. “Not tonight”, you repeated as you walked in the office, letting him come in before shutting the door behind you.

He made to trap you between the door and him, but you stepped to the side. “Why?”

“I’m going to suck your dick”, you answered, and his eyes widened.

“Straight to the point”, he commented, letting out a small laugh.

“You asked for it to be business.” You winked at him, before getting on your knees, eyes never leaving his. He looked down at you, teeth playing with his piercing, as his gaze turned dark, galaxies swallowed whole by the black holes.

“That I did”, he said, voice low, as one of your hands wandered from his waist to his dick.

He was still a little soft, but his cock sat heavily in your hands, even with the joggers and underwear between you and his skin.

“How do you like it?” you asked.

He shrugged. “Show me what you’ve got first.”

You bit on his length, a little harder than necessary, before starting to massage it. “I like it rough”, you said, teeth digging in your bottom lip as you grabbed his dick a little harder.

He thrusted forward, just a little, as if by instinct.

“I know”, he breathed. “Your eyes have been begging me to fuck you senseless ever since I met you.”

You smirked. “But not tonight.”

“Not tonight”, he echoed, right as you undid the knot that was holding his joggers up, before pulling them down. Leaving them to pool around his ankles, as your eyes trailed back to the imprint of his dick.

His underwear was dark grey, and you could see a darker spot at the end of his dick, where precum had already soaked through the material.

“Look at you”, you said, tongue darting to taste him through the fabric. “Your dick is leaking for me.”

“Do something about it.” His voice was low, husky, and there was a warning hidden behind his words.

It only made you want to tease him more. So you left a trail of soft kisses all along his dick, before pressing a kiss to his balls. He watched you carefully, his breathing a little loud in the small space of your office – the room was shaped like a cube, with a small desk against one of the walls taking most of the space. Your bedroll was next to it, already ready for the night.

You knew you’d need it now.

“I want to take my time tasting you”, you breathed, and you ran your hands up his muscular thighs.

It made you wonder what it would feel like, to grind on one of them – you’d definitely need to do that later.

“Just suck my dick, Y/n.”

His brows were knitted as if he was annoyed and you looked back at him, cocking an eyebrow. “Or what?”

It took him a while to reply. “Or I won’t make you come after this.”

You tutted, shaking your head no. “You won’t make me come either way.” You let your hands wander up, until they reached the band of his underwear. Your thumbs dug in and you started pulling the boxers down, eyes never leaving his.

Not even as his cock was freed, resting so close to your face. No, you only looked at it once his underwear was all the way down, and your eyes slowly slid from his to the dick in front of you.

He was big, and prettier than you had thought he’d be. With a large vein moving from base to top, and a red head that looked about to burst. Precum was leaking from the slit and you leaned forward, lightly lapping up his salty juice. He once again thrusted forward, as if trying to fuck your mouth already, and you leaned back to sit on your heels, right hand coming back up to wrap around the base of his dick.

“What do you think you’re doing?” you asked, as you started to slowly move up his shaft, with a light pressure that had to be infuriating more than anything.

“Trying to get some friction”, he said, and there was a strain to his voice. As if seeing his cock sitting prettily next to your face was almost enough to push him over the edge.

“That won’t do”, you reprimanded him. “You just need to ask nicely.”

It was said teasingly, but it only seemed to frustrate him more.

“Aish”, he cursed. “I’m really close to not letting you suck me at all.”

You narrowed your eyes, throwing daggers at him. “So you don’t like when I tease, mmh?”

You leaned forward, tongue pressing on his frenulum as you kept jerking him off slowly, up and down.

“I told you I like to be in control”, he said, and he threw his head back as you sucked on his head, rolling circles on the sensitive spot your tongue had already found.

You bobbed your head forward once, hollowing your cheeks, before releasing his dick in a satisfying pop. “If you ask nicely, I’ll let you fuck my mouth.”

“Let me fuck your mouth”, he commanded.

You took his cock in your mouth again, pushing all the way in until he hit the back of your throat, using your hand to jerk the part that couldn’t get in your mouth from the angle. Your eyes shut as he pushed forward, and you held in the gag reflex.

“Is it so hard to say please?” you asked as you pulled away.

You licked a long stripe from the base of his dick up to his head, before rolling your tongue around him as your eyes met his.

“Please let me fuck your mouth.”

“Soon”, you teased, before moving your lips down his dick, until they reached his balls.

You sucked one in, hand jerking him faster as you held the darkness in his eyes. He grunted, one of his hands moving to tangle in your hair.

“Fuck.”

His little curse word made your pussy ache, and you let go of his ball. “Now you can fuck my mouth”, you said, spitting on the head of his dick to use your drool to lubricate it.

“Suck me a little longer”, he asked. When you remained unmoving, save from your hand on him, he added, “Please.”

“Such a good boy”, you praised him, before giving in to his request, taking him in your mouth again.

You really started working then, bobbing your head as you sucked on him, using your tongue to follow the vein in his dick and play with his frenulum. It had his dick harden in your mouth, as he let out a string of filthy curses, along with praises for you. It took you by surprise, to hear him praise you like he did, but only encouraged you further, until you were gagging on his dick as your throat tried to swallow him.

“Fuck, Y/n”, he grunted. “You’re being so good.”

“All for you”, you murmured as you pulled away, just to catch a little breath, before diving in again. Your left hand moved up until it grabbed his balls, and you started massaging him at the same time.

His eyes had fallen shut, but when he met your gaze again, you knew your teasing was over.

“I’m going to fuck your mouth now, yeah?” he said.

You pulled away to nod your head, before opening your mouth wide for him. He grabbed your cheeks, touch ever so gentle even with the act he was doing, before sliding in. All the way until he hit the back of your throat and you gagged around him.

“You’re so pretty with my cock in your dirty mouth”, he praised. He pulled almost all the way out before pushing forward again. “So fucking pretty.”

You rested your hands on his thighs again, feeling his muscles underneath your fingers, as he started moving a little faster, establishing a gentle rhythm for you. It was unexpected, as you’d thought he’d fuck your mouth hard right away.

Maybe Jeon Jungkook had a world of galaxies in his eyes, but he held a lot more softness than one could think.

“If I hurt you, just tap on the side of my leg”, he told you. “That okay?”

He pulled out for you to speak. “Yeah”, you breathed, before taking him in your mouth again.

Or maybe he had just been saving the best for last. Because the rhythm he established now was unforgiving. He grabbed your hair into a ponytail, keeping you from pulling away, and fucked your mouth like it was the last day on Earth. Each time, the head of his dick hit the back of your throat, making you gag a little until your eyes were filled with tears, and drool was rolling down your chin.

Jeon Jungkook wasn’t the kind of man that was embarrassed to moan. Because he moaned, as he fucked your mouth, pretty low sounds reaching your ears like a song as he blurred behind the tears in your eyes.

You gagged as he hit the back of your mouth once more, and his eyes fell to you. He slowed down, wiping the tears on your cheeks until he had cleared up in front of you.

“Am I hurting you?”

You shook your head a little, pressing your tongue flat against his dick as he pulled out. He pushed back in, slowly once more, and your hand went back to his balls. He hissed as you started massaging them again. From the way your fingers were placed, your index could reach farther, and you pushed on his perineum, before starting to rub circles on it.

He stilled in your mouth, letting out a loud curse word. “You’re going to make me come if you do that.”

He pulled your hair until his dick was out of your mouth and you immediately reached forward to jerk him off again.

“Maybe that’s the goal”, you said with a scrapy voice.

He wet his lips, biting at the bottom one. “You want me to come in your throat?”

“Unless you prefer coming somewhere else”, you said as you picked up the pace, tilting your head back.

He cocked his head to the side, letting out a moan as you used your thumb to play with his frenulum again. “I’d rather you swallow every drop of my juice.”

You smirked then, before licking his head clean of the new precum on the slit. “Then fuck my mouth until you come, Jeon Jungkook.”

You said his full name, intimately. If you were in his head, you’d know it was driving him crazy, and that he wanted more. More of you, and it scared him shitless. Had been scaring him shitless since he had first seen you in this tattoo shop a few weeks ago.

It made him start fucking your mouth again, to chase the vulnerability away.

You moaned around his cock, as he began hitting the back of your throat once more, and your vision quickly went blurry again. You pressed your tongue flat against him, hollowing your cheeks as you sucked, all the while keeping your ministrations on his balls and perineum. Right when you thought you couldn’t take it anymore, with all the drool dripping from your chin, Jungkook let out a loud moan, pushing all the way to the back of your mouth as he came, hot juice sliding right into your throat as he held your head there, even as you gagged.

You swallowed Jungkook’s seed, blinking back tears as he remained in the back of your throat until he was fully empty, before pulling away, He immediately wiped your cheeks of the new tears, before gently running a hand through your hair.

“Are you okay?” he asked, gazing down at you with an emotion you couldn’t quite decipher.

You breathed in raggedly, swallowing down the rest of his seed, before wiping your mouth with the back of your hand. “You’re unleashed.”

He chuckled, shrugging his shoulders. “You told me to fuck your mouth.”

“You didn’t disappoint”, you said as you smirked, licking your lips clean.

He looked around, as if he didn’t know where he was anymore. His eyes zeroed in on your bedroll, and he met your gaze with knitted brows. “Do you sleep here?”

You pushed yourself up until you were standing, flattening your skirt.

“Sometimes, but I rarely do.”

There was concern, in the galaxies in his eyes. “You shouldn’t do that.”

You tried to hold his gaze, but found you were too much of a coward for that. Especially as your pussy was still dripping in your panties, and it was hard to focus on something else.

“Don’t worry about it”, you reassured him. “It’s mostly when I finish a client late and have another one in the morning.”

He nodded, before looking down at himself. He then laughed, before bending down to pull his pants back up. “What am I doing butt-naked talking to you like that?”

You echoed his own laugh with an airy one that had him gaze at you with those big doe eyes of his. Your breath hitched in your throat, and you suddenly felt very shy.

A rare occurrence for you.

“So”, you let out.

He looked around once again, folding his arms on his chest. “So”, he echoed.

You took a step towards him, grabbing the hem of his shirt, before pulling the part that was stuck in his joggers out. He watched you carefully once again, smiling softly when you met his gaze.

“Thank you”, he breathed.

You were ensnared by the gravity in his eyes, damn you, and all you wanted was to push him back until his back hit the wall and dive right back in. You doubted he wanted that too.

“For sucking your dick?”

He chuckled, shaking his head a little. “Among other things, yes.”

You smiled, scanning his features before your eyes fell to the place where your hands still held onto his shirt. You let it go, and made to take a step back. He grabbed your arm before you could move away, and you looked up at him, startled.

“I want to taste you”, he said.

But his eyes weren’t dark with black holes anymore. They were just swirling with galaxies and you found that, more than anything, to be too dangerous for you.

“I told you not tonight”, you reminded him as the corners of your lips tugged upwards.

He fake-glared at you, before letting your arm go. “Alright then, I guess I’ll have to come again?”

It was a question more than a statement, and you tilted your head to the side as you searched for an answer. “What if we meet up elsewhere, next time?”

He was smiling knowingly once he spoke again. “I would like that.”

*****

The weeks after you made your deal with the devil passed in a blur, a blur of waiting to see Jungkook again, and wanting to never see him again. He was frustrating, in more ways than you could ever admit. Because if there was a thing that was true about Jungkook, it was that he was good at after care. More so than you had ever been, as you had always been one to run after the act. But Jungkook made you stay, after he fucked you senseless, and only let you go once the afterglow of your acts had passed.

But you never stayed the night.

You were surprised he managed to find time for you, in his busy schedule. Even more so surprised about just how good he fucked you even when he was tired, as if your pussy energized him.

Maybe it did, the same way sleeping with him made your hands steadier in the following days, even if you had never been one to have shaky hands. Jungkook’s effect on your life showed, in every little aspect.

Aera had known that Jungkook was going to come to your tattoo shop, that time you had made your deal. She had called to warn you, but since you hadn’t picked up, the warning had gone to voicemail, only for you to listen to it once you were tucked in your bedroll, long after Jungkook had left.

Long after you had promised you weren’t going to sleep at the shop.

Aera and Eunwoo had started dating, after the party where she had met him. And apparently, Jungkook had told them about his plans to come visit you, right before he was to go. And after that, you had started hanging out with them more, since Aera wanted to bring Eunwoo everywhere.

You didn’t want to admit it, but you were a little disappointed that Jungkook never tagged along, even if Eunwoo invited him each time. But the deal you had made was strictly business – it didn’t matter that Jungkook had insisted on cooking you a meal before you had left the last time.

Didn’t matter that you caught him staring way too often, when you hung out. Because it hadn’t taken long, for your hang outs to turn into more than just sex. Yes, there was always some sexual activity, but he always found reasons for you to stay longer. Because most of the time you went to his place, not really feeling like inviting him over to your parents’ house. Indeed, you still lived with your parents even if you barely saw them, with your night-oriented schedule.

Jungkook was a friendly person. With a softness to him, once you got over the overall physical attraction. Always ready to smile and laugh, and make fun of you if you did something he found funny. His laugh warmed a place in you that you had thought to be dead, after Soobin. A place none of your friends had been able to reach. And Aera had tried, bless her, but she couldn’t fuck you like Jungkook could.

Mostly, you appreciated your moments with Jungkook. They were little slices of life you had come to cherish, for all their rarity. Because he had indeed stuck to his once-a-week idea, even after you had gone to his studio and he had bent you over to fuck you while making you listen to the songs he was recording.

It felt as if he was taking a step forward, only to take three steps back each time. And you didn’t blame him, because with every moment you spent with him, a little more wariness arose in you. Red flags were common around Jungkook – hell, he only wanted to hang out with you when he was horny. And he barely even texted you, even if he had said he would. Not that you minded, he fucked you well enough for you not to mind the silence he held most of the time.

It wasn’t like you weren’t full of red flags either. Each time he got a little too close, you took a step back, claiming you had to leave or inventing an excuse. You didn’t know if he noticed, and really hoped he didn’t: you didn’t want him to wonder about the reasons you were fleeing.

On the anniversary of Soobin’s death, somewhere at the end of July, you found yourself visiting his grave, like you had done each year since he had left. In all truth, you had gone a lot the first year, until you had realized you needed some distance to heal your heart.

You doubted you had really healed it.

Soobin had been the love of your life. Or so you thought because you had never been able to open up to anyone else after him. Had kept the secret behind the dagger and rose on your ribs, even with Jungkook, because you had never wanted to give that piece of you away.

To give Soobin away. And it was strange, really. You had realized, after the first few months of people talking about him without you even wanting to, that keeping silent made it easier. As if the more you spoke about him, the less he was real. As if he had just been an invention of some dark corner of your heart, and that he had never walked this Earth.

And maybe that, most of all, was the reason why you never mentioned him. Jungkook had asked, once, what the tattoo on your ribs meant. You had climbed on top of him, wrapped a hand around his throat, and fucked yourself on him until his eyes had lost their inquisitive light, until he had grabbed your hips to fuck into you too.

That had been the closest you had come to open up to him. It had been two weeks ago, and he hadn’t mentioned it again after that. And maybe you had closed yourself further, leaving quicker than you usually did. But he hadn’t said anything, not even when you had hung out the next time, fucking in his car in a public parking.

Jungkook really did like doing it in public spaces.

You chased the memory away. Because it was wrong to have Jungkook invade your mind now, as you were walking towards Soobin’s grave.

The familiar black marble of the tombstone appeared and your steps faltered a little as you finished crossing the distance. You stopped in front of the grave, bending down to put the bouquet of white roses next to it.

White roses, because they were the only flowers he had ever bought for you. Because he had said they reminded him of you, with the purity of their petals, and the sweet fragrance they held. That was, until he had tattooed you and started making jokes about the fact your petals had been spoiled. He had written poems about it, too, that you still kept hidden in the bottom drawer of your dresser, at your parents’ place.

You straightened, eyes skimming over the inscription on the tomb. They barely even registered in your mind anymore, as if your brain refused to accept the finality of them. Refused to see the -2019 that was written on there, as if you still couldn’t quite accept that Kim Soobin’s existence had ended in this world. And maybe there was another world out there, another universe in which he existed, but it was hard to accept that he was gone from yours.

You sighed, heavily, before sitting down. You never prayed – praying had been useless, the night you had spent in the hospital hoping he’d make it. You just sat down, and thought about the things you would like to tell him.

You will never guess how many celebrities have started coming to my shop. You’d be so proud.

You smiled, fondly, as you imagined him. Smiling as he’d pick you up and spin you around, telling you you were his proudest achievement. Not because he had been the one to train you – no, he had always told you that it was all you and the gift you had been born with. No, he would have told you that he was proud to be able to call you his muse.

I’ve got people lined up until the end of the year. I wish you could see.

Nostalgia hit you, and you found yourself blinking back tears.

I have some famous friends now too. I think you’d love them.

You winced then, laughing at your own stupidity. Soobin would hate Jungkook. And Jungkook wasn’t even your friend anyway. It was just a dumb business deal.

Soobin had been a kind lover, but he was jealous. Never liked when you hung out with guys. Though he had never stopped you, had encouraged you to maintain your friendships. You had lost most of them after he had died, and maybe that, most of all, was the reason you wanted to tell him about Eunwoo, Jaehyun, and the rest of them. They were your friends because of Aera, that was true, but you still hung out a lot more than you had thought you would.

Never with Jungkook, of course. And always with Minchae, because she and Jaehyun had started seeing each other too.

So, you told Soobin about your hang outs. About the private club you went to regularly, and the private cafés the boys had access to as celebrities. You tried not to let your thoughts diverge to Jungkook too much because it felt unfair for Soobin. Gravity is hard to escape though, and you found you couldn’t really tell Soobin about your life without mentioning Jungkook too.

Because, whether you liked it or not, Jungkook currently was part of your day-to-day life.

You wondered what Soobin would tell you, if he could hear you. Would he be happy for you, to see that you were finally moving on? Because that was it – hanging out with Jungkook made you feel like you were slowly moving on, finally letting go of a love you had never thought you’d lose.

In truth, you doubted you’d ever stop loving Soobin. But you had the right to live your life, didn’t you? You knew Soobin would have wanted that for you. For all the poetry in his heart, he had always been down to Earth too.

You stayed there for a long time, talking to Soobin. Reminiscing about moments you had spent together… realizing that time was obscuring the memories in your mind. As if they had happened so long ago your brain had chosen to put them away, to make place for new memories.

It was strange, how something that had once mattered so much could disappear like that. As you sat there, you realized you couldn’t quite remember his laugh. You had videos, in which you could still hear it, but you couldn’t imagine it without them.

Soobin was leaving your memories too, now.

You let yourself cry a little, at the realization. And you never really cried, unless it was about him. So, you let the pain go, tasting the saltiness of your tears on your lips as you did so. Your phone buzzing in your purse snapped you back to reality, and you dried the tears with the back of your hand.

It was Jungkook, texting you to ask if you wanted to hang out again tonight, as he wouldn’t be available next week. It chased the sadness away, as it was replaced with confusion. You had seen Jungkook two days ago.

But now was not the time to think about hanging out with Jungkook. So, you put your phone back in your purse, focusing on the tombstone again. Only then realizing that your tears were gone, and that they had relieved you of some heaviness.

You refused to admit Jungkook had played his part in it.

You stayed a little longer, until some droplets of rain started falling from the sky. Even if they were rare, you knew better than to stay and wait until they turned into a full-on rainstorm. God knew how rainy Seoul could get, and how much you hated the rain.

You said goodbye to Soobin, telling him you loved him and that you couldn’t wait to have more things to tell him, next year. And with a heart filled with nostalgia, you walked away, glancing at the tombstone once before it was out of sight.

A new lump formed in your throat, and you swallowed it down as you turned back around and left. Heading to the tattoo shop, because you knew what tattoo you wanted to get now. Had known it for a few weeks.

Had known it since after the first time you had had sex with Jungkook. It was a strange thing, that you had decided to tattoo it on yourself after visiting Soobin, but you had made the decision a week ago, as you had seen the date approaching. Soobin had been a tattoo artist after all, and your art was his legacy.

When you got to your shop, rain had started falling heavier outside. You felt like cursing at it, for being present on the day of Soobin’s anniversary of death, and maybe you actually did. Just a little, looking up at the dark clouds and cursing at them for existing. For being the reason why Soobin had had to take the side road in the first place.

Life sometimes was unfair. Death was too, in a much more unforgiving way.

You had already prepared everything you needed to tattoo yourself the day before, and you sat in your usual client chair, eyes skimming over everything. You had chosen to tattoo it on the inside of the upper part of your arm, right next to a mole that you had always had. You looked at the spot, committing its emptiness to memory before grabbing the alcohol swab.

You cleaned your skin, slowly, eyes losing their focus as you were reminded of when Soobin had been cleaning your ribs.

It had been a few weeks after you had started training with him.

You pushed the thoughts away. You didn’t like living in the past, even if your heart had been lost somewhere then.

You threw the alcohol swab away, before glancing at the stencil. You were positioning it on your arm after having moisten the skin with soap when the bells of the door rang.

You had forgotten to lock the door.

“Why don’t you reply to your texts?” Jungkook asked as he walked in, two coffees in hands.

You were struck, seeing him there, on this day that belonged to another.

In all truth, you had forgotten that he had texted you, when you were with Soobin. And something in the way he was looking at you right now, with concern etched on his pretty features… it opened up the wound in a way you hadn’t expected.

“What are you doing here?” you asked, voice a little rough by the lump that was forming in your throat.

Jungkook stopped, halfway to where you were sitting. “I…” he trailed off, looking at you. Looking at the stencil you were holding on your arm, and then at your eyes.

You knew your gaze was wet, by the way the concern took over the galaxies in his eyes.

“Are you okay?” he asked. Voice sweeter than it usually was, like he was afraid he’d hurt you more if he spoke normally.

“I’m busy”, you replied. You looked away from him, unable to let him gaze at your vulnerability any longer. “Why did you come here?”

He remained silent for a long time, as if he knew there was a meaning behind your words. A secret you weren’t willing to tell him.

“You usually reply fast, so I got worried”, he finally replied, and his voice was low. Sheepish, even. “I was in the neighborhood, so I thought why not visit you.” He fell silent, before scraping his throat. “I brought your favorite coffee.”

The fact Jungkook remembered the way you liked your coffee… it made you look at him again. Made you want to give your vulnerability to him, so you wouldn’t have to bear the weight alone anymore.

“You can put it down on the table”, you said, vaguely motioning to it with your head.

He obeyed, burying his fist in his pocket as soon as the cup wasn’t in his hand anymore. He looked at you again, then, and there was a wariness in the way he was standing.

It wasn’t an emotion you had seen him sporting before, and you hated that he was looking at you like that, now.

“Are you okay?” he repeated.

You tossed his question away. You couldn’t give that vulnerability to him, you couldn’t open up to him. You wouldn’t, not when it’d make the loss all the realer.

“I was going to tattoo myself”, you said, choosing to ignore his question. “Do you want to help?”

He was confused. You could tell it by the line between his brows, and the way he was playing with his piercing. Not like he did when he was horny. No, the gesture was a nervous one, a little like the way you pulled on the dry skin of your lips whenever you got anxious. Which wasn’t often, but it still happened.

You were human after all.

“I’ve never tattooed anyone before”, he said, carefully, letting his words hang in the space between you. His tone had been a little higher at the end, like it was a question, and he furrowed his eyebrows further.

You shrugged. “Just sit next to me, I’ll tell you what to do.”

He didn’t move for a time. You watched the debate on his features as he was choosing what to do. You could tell he was uncomfortable, wanting to flee the darkness you held in you.

You didn’t blame him. Whenever his eyes took on an expression of vulnerability, you too wanted to run away.

“It’s a good thing I’ve always wanted to learn”, he finally said, before putting his own coffee down. He made his way towards you, as your eyes fell on a vague spot on your thighs.

Maybe that, that was Soobin’s legacy. You teaching someone else, the way he had taught you in the first place.

Every step Jungkook took towards you seemed to lighten his mood, as if the perspective of learning something new was stronger than your dim mood. And maybe, maybe it made you feel a little better, to watch his eyes take on a curious glint.

He grabbed a stool, rolling it closer to where you were sitting, before sitting down. His gaze fell to your arm, to the stencil you were still holding in place.

“What are you going to get tattooed?” he asked, and his eyes trailed back to your face.

You pulled the stencil away, showing him your arm. He grabbed it, with his gentle fingers, until your arm was turned in a way that let him see the outline. He smiled then, as if he knew.

That smile did things to the pain in your heart. Took it, and caged it far away from you.

“Saturn?” he said, head tilting to the side in his curiosity.

You pursed your lips. “I’ve always liked space.”

You thought about Soobin then. About what he would think of the boy with galaxies in his eyes. About what he would think of your reason. Because you needed a reason, always, to get tattooed. The way Jungkook made you feel… it was reason enough, no matter how futile and idyllic his time in your life was.

“It’s pretty”, he said, smiling appreciatively.

It really was. You had taken a while to design it, until you had chosen the simplest form of it. A small planet, with rings around it, along with three small stars.

“Thank you”, you breathed.

Soobin would have liked the tattoo. You were sure of it. Would have hated the reason, but you deserved your reasons. You deserved to be moving on, even if he was still the owner of your heart.

It took you a moment, of teaching Jungkook, to realize why he had accepted the offer in the first place. You could tell, with the cautious looks he threw your way, that he was trying to change your mind. No matter that he didn’t know what from…

Jeon Jungkook was a kind human being, behind all of the red flags. Someone that had his heart on his sleeve. Or maybe that had it there before someone had ripped it from him.

“Keep going”, you encouraged him, and he glanced up at you.

He was close and his galaxies pulled you in. You found yourself exploring all the worlds they held, swimming in their outer space.

Jeon Jungkook was your first escape from Soobin. A new lump formed in your throat at the thought, and Jungkook straightened.

“I’m not hurting you, am I?” he asked.

It wasn’t just about the tattoo. You knew he meant more. You knew he was wondering if he was the cause behind your sadness, and it almost made you want to open up. To reveal your secrets. But it felt wrong, too wrong.

“You are not”, you reassured him. “You actually have to put a little more pressure.”

He wet his lips. “I’m afraid I’ll mess the tattoo up.”

You held his gaze for a time, before looking down at the tiny line he had already drawn. “Do you want me to finish it?”

He nodded, handing you the device. Though he stayed close, arms resting on the side of the chair. Until you put your arm on top of his, so you had better access to your inner arm. He didn’t seem to mind, and the warmth of him against you anchored you in the present. Kept you from walking down memory lane again.

You worked in silence, as Jungkook watched you carefully. His proximity made it hard for you to focus, even though you didn’t want him right now. Not like you usually wanted him. You rather just wanted his company, even if you had first chosen to ignore him, when he had texted you.

He really was becoming far too important in your life.

“Doesn’t it hurt when you tattoo yourself?” he whispered, as his eyes kept fixed on the spot where the needle was poking at your skin.

“Nah.” The buzzing of the pen filled the silence, until you spoke again. “It hurts less than when someone else does it. Since you expect it more.”

He nodded a little, and you fell back into a comfortable silence. You didn’t exchange another word until you were done, then explaining to Jungkook what needed to be done with a new tattoo. Which was useless, since he already knew all of that. Yet, he let you speak, as if sensing you needed to fill the silence between you with something.

Anything other than the truth.

When you finally finished speaking, your mind coming up short with words to say, Jungkook grabbed your legs, making you turn until you were sitting in the chair, with your legs on his thighs.

“I’ll wrap the tattoo for you”, he said, gently. His hands ran up and down your thighs once, in a reassuring gesture, before he grabbed what he needed for it.

You watched as he worked, with those gentle hands of his, the ones you still couldn’t quite believe were his. They did get rougher sometimes, usually when he was balls deep inside of you. But most of the time he was gentle, as if he had all the time in the world to touch you.

And maybe he did.

When he was done wrapping the tattoo, his big hands fell back on your thighs, before settling on your hips. He met your gaze then, and he held it. Held it with his galaxies and stars, held it with the gravity that always pulled you in.

You were so far in that you could glimpse at his own vulnerability. At his worlds, and at the ones that had broken him. The universe in his eyes was so vast that you imagined seeing yourself there, seeing Soobin there. As if Soobin had been the one to send Jungkook to you after all, that drunken night of his, weeks ago.

“What’s been haunting your mind?” Jungkook asked.

You took a deep breath, right hand moving up in the space between you, until you had brushed a strand of his hair from his eyes.

“No feelings, remember?”

He played with his piercing for a time. “We also said once a week, and I’m here right now.”

He was. He was here when you had needed him – or needed anyone, really. Maybe it could mean something. You just didn’t want it to.

You brushed his cheek then, where he had his little scar. “I’d rather not talk about it.”

His Adam apple bobbed as he swallowed, before nodding. “Alright.” He paused, looking between your two eyes. “But if you ever feel the need to speak to someone, know that I’m here.”

It almost hurt you, the way he said it. As if he had forgotten your deal was but a business deal, and there was no true friendship between you. Just temporary pleasure, as you tried to fuck the other out of your system.

It hadn’t worked yet.

“Thank you.”

There was tension between you then. A different kind of tension. Not one that took its root in physical attraction. Maybe it was because of the soft galaxies in his eyes, or because he was here. He was here with you.

“Do you want me to go?” he asked after a time, once the silence had stretched into its own little eternity of just you gazing at his eyes.

You shook your head, surprising even you. “No.”

You didn’t say more, didn’t say the little word that had threatened to fall from your lips.

Stay.

“Do you want your coffee?”

“Yes.”

You both didn’t move. The silence was too comfortable, and so were his eyes. Eyes that had scared you, at the beginning, with their depths. Weeks later, you had gotten to explore them, more than you had ever thought you would.

There was nothing scary about Jeon Jungkook.

“It’s my birthday, soon”, you said, out of the blue.

His tongue played with his piercing a little. “I’m going to be gone.” He sounded so disappointed, and it made your heart squeeze in your chest.

“I know”, you said. Your eyes fell from his, as his hands moved a little up, until his thumbs were rubbing soothing circles on your waist.

“Do you like camping?” he asked.

You furrowed your brows. “What?”

He repeated the question, cocking an eyebrow.

“I’ve never gone.”

It was true, your parents had never been one to want to leave the city. Perhaps their job had just kept them too busy, when you were younger, for them to consider taking you on a camping trip. And you had never really had friends that wanted to go before, even if some part of you had always wanted to.

“I’m going on a trip on the weekend of your birthday”, he said. “For three days, along with the boys.”

“Which ones?” you asked.

“Jaehyun, Eunwoo”, he said. “Jimin said he’d come too.”

You remained silent, not really knowing what to say.

“They’ve invited Aera and Minchae too.”

Aera hadn’t told you. It made your heart ache, at the thought that that was the reason why she had said she couldn’t hang out on the day of your birthday. Not that you had been one to celebrate a lot, but you had usually hung out with her.

“Do…” he said, trailing off as his eyes fell to a spot between your breasts, that was at a level with his gaze. “Do you want to come?”

You gulped, then. Swallowed down a new lump.

“You want me to come?”

He nodded, meeting your gaze once more.

“I…”

You were about to say no. To say you couldn’t go, but really… What was stopping you? The fact that you and Jungkook weren’t really friends? The fact that the more time you spent with him the deeper you fell into his galaxies?

It wasn’t like their worlds scared you anymore.

“I would like that”, you agreed.

He smiled, with that smile that could light up the whole world.

Thank you, Soobin, for sending him to me.

*****

You had been laughing for a while now. Ever since Jungkook had come to pick you up, with his little bucket hat and wide doe eyes. Ever since he had put on his favourite songs, and he danced to them, trying to pull you into the choreography. Trying to convince you to dance to ‘That That’, shooting finger guns at you as you giggled in the passenger seat, telling him to focus on the road.

Jeon Jungkook was different today. Carefree, as if he wasn’t lost in his depths anymore. As if his vulnerability didn’t matter anymore. As if you were young and reckless, with no responsibilities, other than that of enjoying life.

And maybe that was all there was to do, in the few days you were going to be out of the city. That, and celebrate your birthday, with the people that had started mattering more to you than you had thought they ever would.

Business deal included.

After the anniversary of Soobin’s death and Jungkook’s invitation, something had changed between you two. He had texted you every day, called you every day, claiming you needed to plan everything for the trip. A strange thing, because there wasn’t much to plan.

It had led to some of the best phone sex in your entire life, though. Jungkook guiding you, with that beautiful voice of his…

It had been good phone sex indeed.

“Are you hungry?” Jungkook asked after a small moment of silence, between the two songs playing on the car speakers.

You pouted, shrugging your shoulders. “Not particularly. But I know you always are.”

He smiled devilishly. “Especially for you.”

You burst out laughing, punching him in the shoulder. “You are disgusting.”

He offered you a small pout, with his wide doe eyes set in an innocent and childlike expression. It made you roll your eyes, and his giggle filled the air around you.

Lighting an atmosphere that was already light.

“I’m going to stop soon to get some food, do you want me to get anything for you?”

You said no, because really you weren’t hungry at all. Yet when Jungkook sat back in the car, he handed you some sotteok. You looked at him, before taking the food, cocking an eyebrow.

“I know you said you weren’t hungry but…” he trailed off, as he watched you take a bite.

The smile he offered you then made you forget who you were for a time.

“Thank you”, you said when you swallowed your bite.

It filled you with warmth, how Jungkook was caring, suddenly. As if seeing the darkness in your eyes, a few days ago, had changed something between you two. Maybe it had, though you weren’t fool enough to let it get to your head.

It was just a business deal, and he had only invited you because your friends were going.

But when he had said he’d be the one driving you… it was hard not to believe that it meant something. Especially as he seemed so… happy to be there with you. With his bright smile that made your heart stutter in your chest.

“You should eat all that before we get on the road again”, you told him, looking around the half-full parking lot before your eyes settled on him again.

He shrugged, mouth full of a bite that had his cheeks puffing. “Was already the plan”, he said once he swallowed, before immediately digging in for another bite.

It made you laugh, and he narrowed his eyes at you, though he couldn’t speak for a time.

“What?” he let out.

“I want to drive your car.”

He cocked an eyebrow, shaking his head no slowly. “I don’t let anyone drive my car.”

You attempted to make puppy eyes, though you ended up bursting out laughing along with him. The sound of your laughter filled the car, until it subsided as he took another bite. “It’s my birthday”, you said, pouting. “Please?”

He sighed, rolling his eyes. “What do I get in exchange?”

You looked up, pursing your lips as your index finger tapped your chin. Until an idea slid in your mind, and your face fell into a sultry expression as you turned to look at him. He gulped, then, as if he too sensed the switch in you.

“We find a parking a little less crowded than here and I let you fuck me?”

His eyes widened, at your crude words, before he nodded. “Yes, alright. Yes. A good plan.”

It made you giggle, to see how eager he was, and the sultriness dissolved into happiness.

Something that happened more and more as you spent time with Jungkook like that, outside of the usual confines of your deal.

And really, with the perspective of sex on the line, Jungkook engulfed the food he had bought, before turning the key in the ignition. The engine of his car purred to life, and soon enough he had pulled on the street again.

His hand settled on your thigh then, and you gulped as he brushed a finger on your skin, right where your skirt ended.

“I like when you wear skirts”, he commented, as his eyes stayed fixed on the street ahead. “Makes the access easier.”

And just like that, his hand slid up, fingers brushing the sensitive skin of your inner thigh. Your breath hitched in your throat, right as you instinctively spread your thighs a little more, to give him a better access.

“You’re always so ready for me”, he whispered, and your gaze slid to his profile. To the piercing he was playing with, and the ghost of a smirk on his lips.

“So are you, Jeon Jungkook”, you breathed, and you let one of your hands move to his upper thigh, fingers grazing his dick through his joggers.

He wasn’t hard at all yet, but the slight touch of your digits there had his fist tighten on the wheel, even as his touch on your thigh stayed gentle, soft, like it always was with him.

It was one of the things you liked the most, about Jeon Jungkook. For all the darkness that sometimes invaded his gaze, his softness never left. It softened the edges of him, in a way that felt just right.

For you, that is.

“Can’t wait to feel your pretty little pussy”, he said, right as his knuckles brushed you through your panties.

You bit your lip to keep in the embarrassing moan it had raised in you. He smirked then, because he knew. Knew that your body responded to his with just a touch, with just the right words.

And he always had the right touches and words, when it came to you.

“What about here?” he said, as he slowed down the car.

There was a dirt road that disappeared in the forest, after a bend. You looked at Jungkook, eyes a little wide with anticipation, even if you weren’t full on horny yet.

He’d get you there in no time anyway.

“Seems good to me”, you said, nodding your head as you wet your lips.

He gazed down at them, as the car came to a full stop, and he seemed conflicted for a time. Until you squeezed his muscular thigh, and your knuckles grazed his dick again. Whatever conflict that had raised in his eyes dwindled away, and he turned into the dirt road, all the way to the bend in the road.

He followed it, car driving slowly, before parking on the side.

Anybody could drive past, you were aware of that, but the stars in Jungkook’s eyes shone with lust as he looked at you, taking off his keys from the ignition. They burned with desire, and it rendered all caution useless.

You’d almost let him fuck you in the middle of a crowded room, when he looked at you like that.

“Backseat?” he asked.

You shook your head no, as you turned towards him. “I want to ride you.”

He clenched his jaw, head tilting to the side. He seemed to debate for a time, and his hand left your thigh when he made his decision. “Anything for the birthday girl.”

It did something to you, to have him give in to you like that, and heat pooled in your lower stomach, until it trickled down to the place between your legs. You watched as he unbuckled his seat belt and adjusted the car seat so you could climb on top of him, and your eyes moved down to his dick as he palmed himself through the joggers.

“Come here”, he then said, as you too unbuckled your seat belt. He grabbed your hand, with that gentle touch of his, before pulling you on his lap. It was hard to straddle him on the car seat, and your hands landed on his shoulders, with a short distance separating your two mouths.

You almost went in for a kiss, as if by instinct, before reminding you of the rule. Just because you were breaking some of the rules didn’t mean you had to break them all, so you moved to his neck instead, sucking at the spot you knew made him squirm.

His hands landed on your ass, and he massaged it through the fabric of your skirt, until he decided better and moved under the fabric. His warm skin met yours in a slap and you let out a breathy sound, the slap leaving a stinging sensation on your ass.

You grinded into him then, as your arousal started soaking your panties. His large hands guided your movements, and he tilted his head to the side to give you better access. He sighed loudly when you bit into his neck, in that way that turned into a small moan.

“Don’t leave love bites”, he said, chuckling deeply.

You smirked against his skin, kissing the spot you had just bit. “We’re going away for three days, plenty of time for it to heal.”

He hissed as you sucked on the skin then, before slapping your ass again. “You’re not being a very good girl, mmh?”

“Mmh.” It was your turn to chuckle, and your tongue darted between your lips to taste his skin. “It’s my birthday, it’s my turn to be in control.”

You moved up from his neck, kissing his jaw, before pulling away. Grinding into him as his head turned back so he could look at you. His galaxies had gone dark again, the good kind of dark that promised pleasure and passion.

“Your birthday is tomorrow.”

You shrugged, rolling your hips slowly as he guided your movements again. He was getting hard, enough for you to know it’d take no time until you could sink on him. Especially as the black holes in his eyes made your pussy clench around nothing.

You were already so ready for him.

“Gotta start somewhere”, you said, tilting your head to the side innocently as you wet your lips. “It’s not going to be easy to fuck when our friends are right next to us.”

The devilish smirk on his lips made you want to lean in and suck on his piercing, but you resisted. “We can always find a spot in the woods.”

You shook your head, slowly, before going back to his neck, pressing wet kisses on his skin. “You’re going to be the death of me.”

You didn’t know why Jungkook liked doing it in public so much. Putting his reputation on the line like that… you wouldn’t do it, if you were him. But you weren’t, and all you wanted was to make him feel good. Make him feel good until his eyes rolled to the back of his head as he released inside of you.

“Then fuck me like it’s your last day on Earth”, he said, voice low and husky.

You whined as he thrusted up, his hard dick pressing against your clit. It felt good even through the fabric, but nothing compared to the feeling of his skin against yours.

“Let’s get you out of your pants, then.”

He nodded, and though it proved to be awkward, you managed to stand up just enough for him to slide his pants down to the middle of his thighs, along with his underwear. You took a moment to observe his pretty cock, already leaking with precum, as he spat in his hand before wrapping it around his shaft, pumping up and down twice before letting it go.

“Spit on it”, he told you.

You cocked an eyebrow, meeting his gaze again. “And how am I supposed to do it in this position?”

He brought his hand to your mouth, thumb caressing your bottom lip before he held his palm up. Your gaze stayed glued to his as you spat in his hand, and he used it to lubricate the head of his cock. One of your hands moved between your legs, until you could push your panties to the side, enough to give him access to your entrance.

You lowered yourself on him, until his cock reached your clit. You stopped, circling your hips instead as he shut his eyes, smirk still on his lips.

You’d go crazy if you looked at his lips for longer. So you sank down on him, his dick sliding right in, though it burned as he stretched your walls.

You winced, and he let go of his dick so he could grab your waist, holding you up a little. “Do you want me to finger you first?” he asked.

You met the galaxies in his eyes then, and their gravity pulled you in again. So much so you found yourself resting your forehead against his, eyes half shut, as you started circling your hips again.

“No, your dick can stretch me enough.”

He nodded, eyes shutting from the proximity. As if looking at you any longer would make him go crazy. And maybe, maybe he really did feel like you were feeling in the moment, because he didn’t urge you to go faster. He instead let you establish a slow rhythm, a dance that had his dick reaching deep inside of you.

You let go of your panties then, and put your hands on his shoulders again, to give yourself leverage for what was to come. Because you were fully ready to start moving up and down, fucking yourself on him.

Until he spoke, and made your heart stop in your chest.

“Keep going like that”, he breathed, and his lips were almost close enough for you to feel them move.

You gulped, hands moving from his shoulders to his cheeks. “You feel so good, stretching me like that.”

He smirked, his own hands gripping your ass again. “Such a pretty girl.”

His praise made your eyes shut all the way, and you moved up, ever so slowly, before sinking even deeper than before. You heard his breath hitch, and you did it again, until his hands tightened on your ass.

“Don’t fuck me like that”, he breathed, and there was a vulnerability behind his words. One that was slowly rising in your heart too, and that you didn’t want to feel.

You hated the feelings Jeon Jungkook sometimes raised in you. So, you started moving quicker, rougher, until he was fucking up into you too. Until his fingers on your ass moved to your hips, so he could guide you again, digits digging in the tender skin.

You moaned as he fucked into you harder, yet you couldn’t move your forehead away from his. Wanted to feel his moans on your lips.

Your pussy clenched and Jungkook hissed, before thrusting up harder. It hurt a little, in that way that made you see stars – not the ones in his eyes, of course – and you threw your head back, hands moving back to his shoulders.

Your nails dug in through the fabric of his oversized shirt as one of his fingers met your clit, rolling circles on the sensitive bud. He kept going like that, until your orgasm started building inside of you, and you begged him to go faster.

He was a sucker when you begged for him, so he gave in, fucking into you faster, moving his finger faster, harder, until your vision blurred with light, and your pussy clenched against him.

He moaned, thrusting up, and you came around his dick, obscene sounds filling his car as you squirted, letting out a loud moan. He fucked into you as your walls pulsed against his dick, and soon enough he hit his high too, with a string of curses and praises for you. He emptied his load deep inside of you, hands keeping you from moving up, and you opened your eyes, to watch the effects of his orgasm on his pretty features. To watch the way his teeth bit at his bottom lip, eyebrows furrowed so much they were almost touching.

You weren’t usually ones for quickies like that. Jungkook usually liked to take his time with you, not letting himself come until he had pulled at least two orgasms out of you. It surprised you, to feel his juice inside of you already, and when he opened his eyes, your pussy clenched against him once more.

He looked spent, as if the small orgasm he had just hit was one of the best in his life.

“I love fucking your tight little pussy”, he said, and his features softened a little, until his brows had relaxed on his face. Until his teeth had let go of his bottom lip, and you found yourself glancing at the redness they had left behind.

“That was a quick one”, you said, and you brushed a strand of hair out of his eyes. Your hand lingered on his cheek for a second too long, and you quickly put it away, as you tried to climb out of his lap.

“We still have to get to the camping”, he pointed out. And then he chuckled, as his dick pulled out of you and fell on his lap. “And now you’ve just made a mess of my shirt.”

You had indeed, the mix of your juice with his come leaving a trail on his shirt.

“Probably made a mess of my skirt too”, you said, shrugging. “And don’t get me started on my panties.”

He laughed, boyishly, before looking at you as you sat back in the passenger seat. “I’ll grab something for you to change into.”

He started by grabbing the box of tissue, so he could clean himself. He handed a few to you, and you cleaned yourself as he got out of the car to grab your duffel bag in the booth. While he was there, he also switched shirts for a clean one, and you watched him in the rear-view mirror as he got changed.

Jeon Jungkook had one of the most beautiful bodies you had seen in your life. Of all the boys you had fucked, that is. But then again, he was better than most of them on all aspects, so it really was useless to compare him.

No one could compare to Jeon Jungkook.

Your heart squeezed in your chest then, as the ecstasy of the orgasm finally left you. Left you to be replaced with the image of Soobin, and you found yourself missing him.

Found yourself wishing you didn’t have such treacherous thoughts about Jungkook. It almost felt like you were cheating. It was worse than a cold shower, washing away the warmth and ecstasy until you found yourself freezing, almost shivering even in the heat that had taken over the car.

Jungkook didn’t mention it, when he sat back next to you, handing you a clean pair of jeans. He noticed though. Those big doe eyes of his noticed everything, with their galaxies, and it made you turn away from him. You switched your skirt for the pants, as Jungkook drove back to the main street, sending you cautious glances once in a while.

You pushed your discomfort to the side as he stopped at a gas station, eyes finally meeting his.

“Is everything okay?” he asked as soon as your gazes locked.

You looked around, before gazing into his eyes again. “Why are you stopping here?” you asked, avoiding his question.

He didn’t like it. You could tell by the harsh set in his jaw, but it was gone in an instant. “I thought you might want to pee, to make sure you don’t get an infection.”

Sweet. Always so sweet. It pushed your wariness away, melting it into a soft warmth that spread through your chest. And you wanted to tell him how he made you feel then. Wanted to thank him for being so caring, but you couldn’t find the words. So, you just nodded, telling him you’d be right back.

When you came back, Jungkook had switched to the passenger seat, and you just watched him confused for a time, until you remembered you had first asked to drive. You hesitantly opened the door on the driver’s side, before sitting down, throwing Jungkook a sheepish look.

“Are you sure you don’t mind if I drive?” you asked.

He shrugged, meeting your eyes with his galaxies. “Not if you tell me what’s wrong.”

You froze, hand halfway to the wheel. The galaxies seemed to have stopped swirling in his eyes, as if they too awaited an explanation. As if his worlds couldn’t orbit their stars without you explaining, and it was so sweet and caring it had your heart stop in your chest.

“Everything is okay.” You nodded, offering him a reassuring smile. “Everything is okay now.”

He didn’t seem convinced, but he didn’t push, instead letting his face fall into a smile of his own. “Okay. Good.” He nodded too, before looking away. “Then, you can drive.”

You chuckled, before turning the key in the ignition. “You know I would have driven anyway.”

*****

“That’s not how you make a tent”, Jungkook said, for the eleventh time.

You laughed, looking at the mess in front of you. “No shit.”

He chuckled, as he glanced over his shoulder at Aera, who was walking towards you. “We don’t need help”, he said before the girl had even reached your side.

He had insisted on setting up your tent with you. Had said it’d be quicker that way – because he had brought two tents. One for each of you, that he wanted to put next to each other. You weren’t quite sure why – maybe he just didn’t want to appear like more than friends. Though his friends knew about your deal. Because you had told Aera, and Aera had told Minchae, and Eunwoo had also talked about it.

Yet, it reassured you, somehow. Because Soobin hadn’t completely left your thoughts, and you indeed needed some space. You were relieved Jungkook wanted to give it to you, without questions.

Even more so relieved, as it had led to you laughing so hard you had almost pissed yourself twice.

“You’re so competitive you can’t even admit when you need help, Jungkook”, Aera said as she stopped next to you, looking at the poles you had in your hands.

Jungkook glared at her, before meeting your gaze. “I don’t like your friend.”

You laughed again. “We’ll manage babe, thanks.”

Aera chuckled, shaking her head. “Where did you guys stop on the way? I thought you were right behind us.”

Your laugh died in your mouth, as you met Jungkook’s widened gaze.

“We just got food”, he said, shrugging, and the surprise that had first lit up his features melted into a smirk. “Some good food at that.”

You blushed – what the hell? – before letting out another small laugh. “Good food indeed.”

Aera looked between you two, a disgusted look taking over her pretty features. “Ew.”

You glared at her. “What do you mean, ew?”

“Just say you fucked. I fucked Eunwoo before leaving.”

Jungkook shook his head as he chuckled. “As much as I’m happy Eunwoo is getting some, you didn’t need to tell us that.”

Aera shrugged her shoulders before turning around to walk away. “Not my problem.”

You watched your friend leave, before resuming your attention on Jungkook. There was a slight blush on his cheeks, when you looked at him, and it made you look away. Made your gaze drop to the mess of a tent on the ground.

“Well”, Jungkook said, before scraping his throat. “Where were we?”

You snorted, holding up the poles in your hands. “I think we have to slide this in the loops there.”

You motioned to said loops, and Jungkook tilted his head to the side, before nodding.

“That seems like a good plan.”

You got to work, and soon enough you were a laughing mess again. Because you couldn’t get the poles in, or maybe you made it a little harder for Jungkook. Just to tease him, and it took him a moment to understand. But when he did, he stopped trying to get the pole in, turning to glare at you.

“What do you think you’re doing?” he asked.

“Nothing.” It was said innocently, yet Jungkook’s eyes narrowed in suspicion.

“Give me that.”

“No.”

“Y/n, give the poles to me.”

He had his hand held out, and you shook your head.

“Or what?”

He smirked, before taking a step closer. He leaned down, until he could speak directly into your ear. “Or you won’t get any birthday sex.”

He kissed your neck then, just over the neckline of your shirt, and your breath caught in your throat. His hands moved on your arms, sliding down, leaving a trail of goosebumps behind…

He snatched the poles from your hands, letting out a victorious cheer before turning away from you. You tried to get them back, wrapping your arms around his waist, but he held the poles away.

“Give them back”, you begged.

Jungkook stepped away from you, before pointing at the tent with the pole. “Hold the tent up.”

You put your fists on your hips, almost stomping on the ground to show him you were angry. But mostly to make him laugh, and the stern expression on his features melted as he giggled.

“You’re annoying”, you told him.

“That’s not what you were saying when we were…”

He didn’t get to finish his sentence, as you shoved him in the shoulder. “Jeon Jungkook, you are outrageous!” He grinned his boyish grin, eyes crinkling at the corners, and you almost fell in the galaxies again.

You caught yourself at the last second possible, looking away from him as a blush crept on your cheeks.

You cooperated then, helping Jungkook to set up the tent. You found that you made a better team once you really tried to focus on the job at hand instead of messing around – even if messing around was far more fun – and soon enough the two tents were up, right next to each other. Jungkook put your duffel bag in one, along with the sleeping bag you had gotten for the occasion, while you moved his stuff to his tent.

It was somehow… domestic, the way you two were carrying yourselves. And it was hard, then, to think about the fact that it was just a business deal. That it’d go back to how it was before, when you’d be back in Seoul.

Or maybe it didn’t have to. You just didn’t know if you wanted that anyway, because Soobin still occupied most of your thoughts. Still owned your heart, even if Jungkook occasionally made you feel … something.

There were no words to explain what he made you feel, other than what the night sky made you feel. The night sky he held in his eyes, and the one that lit up the heavens when the sun set, after you had played around on the beach with the rest of your friends all day, before eating a barbecue Jungkook had taken care of.

You acted as if you didn’t notice, but Jungkook always offered you the first bite of meat. Always made sure you didn’t want more before handing out the rest to his friends, making his own plate last.

Jungkook was a kind human being, behind all the vulnerability. Or maybe the vulnerability just made him kinder, as if he didn’t want the people around him to suffer like he had.

It made you wonder what the darkness in his eyes was about. What had hurt Jeon Jungkook enough to make him give himself away to a lot of girls, what had made him willing to make a deal such as the one you shared. And you didn’t know if he still slept around. You had had sex with another guy once, at the beginning of the deal, but then had found that Jungkook was plenty enough to satiate your cravings.

You liked to tell yourself he felt the same about you.

It was fun to be around Jungkook when he was with his friends. Even Minchae didn’t make you feel wary like she usually did. Nothing could really reach you, except your own darkness inside of you. And you found yourself gazing at Jungkook more, then. The thoughts you had on Soobin’s death anniversary came back to your mind and you wondered, truly wondered, if Soobin had been the one to bring Jungkook into your life.

Because even with all his red flags, the more you got to know Jungkook, the more he seemed just right.

It made you confused, deeply, and way too vulnerable for your own good.

Sitting around a small bonfire, Jungkook and his friends were talking about their latest works, and you tuned out the conversation as you looked up at the sky, heart squeezing in your chest at the sight of all the stars. You could still hear the sea in the distance, even if trees separated you from the beach, and the fresh air of the night filled you with wonder.

The kind of wonder that had your eyes trail back to Jungkook as he squeezed your hand, running his thumb on the back of your hand before letting go. Your eyes met, and he offered you a small smile, before going back to his conversation. His friends didn’t seem to notice the affectionate move, or maybe they chose to ignore it.

You did ignore the way Eunwoo and Jaehyun acted with your friends. Even if the latter seemed to wish to put a distance between Minchae and him, sometimes.

The rest of Jungkook’s friends would be coming tomorrow. Indeed, Jimin, Mingyu and Yugyeom were all supposed to join during the day tomorrow. You were excited to see Jimin again, to see if his own shadows had left him. To know what he thought about the tattoo after having it on his skin for a while.

Your eyes went up to the sky again, as you leaned your head against the chair you were sitting in. The glow of the fire played on your peripheral vision, and you tried to ignore it, to focus on the stars above. On their own glow, that seemed to be so faint compared to the stars you were used to. To those in the eyes of the boy next to you.

Your heart squeezed in your chest again, and you found nostalgia hitting you, about Soobin. And it wasn’t like you had gone camping with him before – Soobin had been a city boy through and through – but there was something in the feelings in you that reminded you of him. Of the early days of your relationship, when you had been fresh out of high school and ready to dive into adulthood.

You sighed, chasing the sadness that always came with Soobin away. Jungkook threw you a cautious look, before grabbing his phone. And when he jumped up next to you, you turned to look at him, eyes a little widened.

“Come with me”, he said, hand extended to you.

The conversation around you died as Jaehyun and Eunwoo looked at you curiously, awaiting your answer. Minchae and Aera had gone to take a shower, but you had taken yours earlier, right when you had come back from the beach, so it was just the two boys next to you.

“Why?” you asked, though you grabbed his hand.

He pressed your fingers with that gentle touch of his, looking towards the beach.

“You keep craning your neck so you can look up at the stars, let’s just go on the beach.”

The orange glow of the fire played on his features, and you looked at him for a time. Gazed at the soft look in his eyes, that hinted at concern and maybe something else. Vulnerability, perhaps.

“I don’t mind staying here”, you said right as he pulled you up to your feet.

He smiled then before pulling you closer and wrapping his arms around you. You stilled, frozen like a deer in headlights, not knowing what to do.

“Happy birthday, Y/n”, he whispered in your ear, and a trail of goosebumps moved down your spine.

It hit you. It was midnight. He had waited until it was midnight to wish you a happy birthday.

Business deal my ass.

Eunwoo and Jaehyun had started talking again, ignoring you, or maybe just offering you some privacy. And your heart beat louder in your chest, as you pulled away from the hug to gaze up at his face.

Jungkook was close to you. Doe eyes shining with fondness, and you found your own eyes dipping to his lips.

“Thank you, Jungkook.”

His gaze filled with even more light, with even more galaxies and stars and nebulas.

It was your first time calling him by his first name only.

“And I know you’ve been dying to stargaze, so let’s go on the beach.”

You nodded, unable to form a word as your throat closed with emotion. He grabbed your hand again, before pulling you behind him. He stopped to grab the blanket on which you had been sitting, and then you followed him to the beach, walking down the small dirt path in the forest.

The beach opened up in front of you, sand shining under the light of a thousand stars. The waves were smaller tonight, but their melody met the one in your heart, the one that was becoming louder with every stroke of Jungkook’s thumb on the back of your hand.

You took off your shoes, grabbing them in your hands before walking on the beach, turning left to head into the horizon. The sand was cold, under your toes, but the warm presence of Jungkook next to you compensated.

“I hope you’ve been enjoying yourself”, he said, glancing at you once before looking up at the sky.

You smiled, a soft smile that barely even tugged at the corners of your lips. “I am. Far more than I thought I would.”

He sighed in relief, and though he wasn’t holding your hand anymore, his gravity pulled you closer. Made you step just a little closer to him, until his arm was brushing yours each time you took a step.

“I’m glad.”

You walked in silence for a time, until Jungkook seemed to judge the spot good enough to lie down. You helped him put the large blanket on the ground, before sitting on it, feet digging in the sand.

“How does it feel to be twenty-five?” he asked.

You furrowed your eyebrows in confusion. “I’ve been twenty-six since the beginning of the year?”

He chuckled then, nudging you with his elbow. “I meant in international age. You’re older than me by a little less than a month.”

You smiled wickedly as you met his gaze. “And yet you haven’t called me nuna once.”

He laughed, before lying down, hands beneath his head. He watched you for a time, before his eyes slid to the sky above. “Would you want me to call you that?”

You scrunched up your nose in disgust, shaking your head forcefully.

“Understood.” He laughed again, before glancing at the spot next to him. “Why don’t you lie down?”

You were admiring the sea and its waves, watching them hit the shore relentlessly.

“I’m happy to be here”, you said, letting the truth fall from your mouth, even as your heart was trying to tell you not to.

To tell you to keep some mystery and enigma, so you could protect yourself.

“Something has been haunting you”, Jungkook said, voice low.

He wasn’t looking at you when you glanced at him, and you lay down next to him, eyes meeting the constellations in the sky. There was a veil, over the sea, where a thin cloud hid the stars, but most of the night shone over you, twinkling lights that reminded you of the man next to you.

You didn’t know what to say. Didn’t know if you were willing to tell him, to let him know about your vulnerability. About the demons that still haunted you, the ones he could chase away when you looked at the galaxies in his eyes, when you took the time to explore his worlds.

“This time of the year is always hard, for me”, you admitted. Refusing to turn your head towards him as you felt his gaze on your profile.

He stayed silent for a time, as if expecting you to continue, before speaking. “You don’t like celebrating your birthday?”

You chuckled, shaking your head a little. “No. I wish it could be just that.” Your voice was shaking a little, and you hated it. Hated how your heart had picked up its pace in your chest, adrenaline pumping in your blood.

As if you were in danger, when you were just about to tell Jungkook about your past. And maybe you were, maybe giving him that power over you was a danger in itself, but you couldn’t stop. Not when he had been so sweet, since last week. Not when he was looking at you like that, with the galaxies in his eyes feeling like home.

You hadn’t felt that way about anyone in a long time.

“My boyfriend died, at the end of July, a couple years ago.”

There was a heavy silence. As if even the waves had stopped, holding their breath as your words echoed over the water, getting lost in the horizon. It was a loud silence, one that ached far more than words ever could.

You turned your head to look at Jungkook. To meet the darkness that had taken over his eyes. The concern and grief for you swallowed his stars whole until his gaze had turned fully black.

“He died in a car accident. Well, at the hospital after the accident.”

Jungkook remained silent and you suddenly felt awkward. Awkward and angry to have revealed your secrets to him. You sat up, eyes getting lost in the distance again, as you brought your knees to your chest.

“Sorry.”

Jungkook sat up next to you, and he brushed a strand of your hair behind your ear. It was intimate, the way he did it, with his fingers lingering on your cheeks after. “Don’t be sorry.”

“I don’t know why I’m telling you”, you admitted, and there was an edge to your voice.

“It’s okay, Y/n”, he said, voice gentle and reassuring. “You can talk to me about anything.”

You wondered if that was true. If he’d want to listen to the feelings in your heart, when you got lost in his galaxies.

“His name was Kim Soobin”, you said, because you really needed to get the truth out. To tell the boy with galaxies in his eyes what made you the person that you were. “He was the one to train me, as a tattoo artist.”

Jungkook nodded, looking in the distance. “Was he your first?”

“He was.” You swallowed the lump that was forming in your throat. “He was my first everything.” You paused, eyes falling to the sand in which your feet were digging again, as if they’d find any form of comfort in the cold humidity of it. “It’s been hard to let people in after him.”

Jungkook moved a little closer, wrapping an arm around your shoulders. You shivered, as if you suddenly were freezing, and you leaned your head on his shoulder. His warmth moved through you, slowly, anchoring you in the present.

“I think that’s why I’m telling you”, you admitted.

He put his head on top of yours, as his hand started stroking your arm gently. “You loved him a lot, I can understand why it’s hard.”

You weren’t quite sure what to reply to that. Because it was true, you had loved Soobin a lot. Still loved him a lot. But you doubted Jungkook could understand the type of loss you had been through. Maybe it was selfish, for you to feel like that, but you hated when people told you they understood.

They couldn’t.

“I mean”, he said after a time. “I don’t think I can understand. I’ve never been through something like that.”

Oh.

“And I am sorry you did. I just hope I can help ease the pain.”

There were tears blurring your eyes then. You didn’t dry the one that rolled on your cheek, didn’t dare move at all. Because Jungkook did ease the pain, better than anything ever could. You didn’t quite think about Soobin, when you were with him. It was Jungkook, and his galaxies and stars, that occupied your brain.

Maybe that most of all was your biggest fear. Because it gave him too much, over you. The feelings in your heart made Jeon Jungkook dangerous.

“You do”, you replied nonetheless. “At first it was just sex, but…” You trailed off, as he pressed the gentlest kiss on the top of your head. It silenced the fear in your heart, and one of your hands snaked around his waist, so you could hug him close. “You are a good person, Jeon Jungkook.”

He lay down, pulling you with him, until he was on his back with your head on his shoulder. His arms were holding you close, and you started playing with the hem of his shirt.

“So are you, Y/n”, he breathed. “I find myself lucky to have met you.”

Tears were pricking at your eyes again, but for a completely different reason now.

“Why did we make a deal like that?” you asked.

You wondered if Jungkook was going to reply, as silence stretched between you. Maybe asking it had been a mistake, maybe you should have…

“We could see where this trip brings us”, he murmured.

His heart was beating loud in his chest, so loud you could hear its every beat.

“Would you like that?” you asked.

He kissed your forehead then and his free arm moved up to cup your cheek. “Look at me.”

You did, meeting the infinity of his eyes. Falling face first until you were swimming in his galaxies. Until his worlds were swirling around you, all of them feeling close and dear to you. All of them feeling familiar, as if you had been meant to be their explorer.

“I would like that very much”, he finally replied.

He pulled you in again then, his gravity so strong your lips pressed against the pillowy softness of his. It took both of you aback, and you pulled away, just enough to gaze into his eyes again. Just enough to see the smile forming on his mouth, before you pressed your lips on his again.

The kiss was slow and gentle. Gentle like everything about Jungkook, when it came to you. It had your heart beating steadily in your chest, to the same beat in his, and he pulled you closer, hand finding the nape of your neck, until your tongue darted out to meet his, halfway between your mouth.

Even then, the rhythm remained slow, as if you had all the time in the universe. And maybe you did, and the universe had stopped, for you. Had decided to give you this bubble, outside of time, so you could indulge in each other. So you could taste the other, in a way you had forbidden at first.

The kiss was intoxicating, but the good kind of intoxicating. The one that left your mind feeling like it was floating above the clouds, swimming in the stars up ahead. In those in his gaze too, but you knew them like the back of your hand already.

It was strange, how easy it had been, to get lost in Jeon Jungkook. You wondered if you had gotten lost that first day, when he had stepped in your shop. When your body had been inexplicably attracted to his.

Jungkook sighed in the kiss, as he made you turn until he was hovering over you. Your arms wrapped around his neck, holding him ever so closer, and you let out a breathy sound as he sucked on your bottom lip.

“I’ve been dying to kiss you for so long”, he breathed, lips moving against yours as he spoke.

Had he been just a little farther away, he would have seen the blush creeping up on your cheeks. But he wasn’t, and his lips pressed on yours again, kissed you until you got drunk with the taste of him.

Your thoughts tried to hold onto coherency, onto anything so you wouldn’t get forever lost, but as your tongues met again, the sense in your head dissolved into nothingness.

Your last thought was that it was better than you had expected, to kiss a man with a piercing. You weren’t quite sure if that was because of the piercing, or because Jungkook was the one you were kissing.

Jungkook climbed on top of you, knee spreading your legs apart until you had wrapped them around his waist. His arms were on the two sides of your head, as he leaned on his forearms not to crush you. He kept kissing you, barely ever pulling away. Just enough so you could suck in a breath, before he was kissing you again.

You never wanted the kiss to end. It healed something in you, to have someone kissing you like that.

You ran a hand through his soft hair, pulling at the longer strands on the back of his head, just a little, just enough for him to pull away.

“Jungkook-ah”, you whispered, and his eyes fluttered open, right at the same time as yours did.

“Y/n.”

You smiled, echoing his own smile, as you gazed up at his eyes. At the night sky behind him, inside of him.

“Kiss me again”, you breathed.

He chuckled as he obeyed. It was a passionate kiss, one that had your blood turn a little hot in your veins. Not in a way that made you want his body, but rather in a way that made you want his star-filled soul.

You hoped he felt the same about you.

“We never should have made that a rule”, he said in between two kisses.

You smiled and he pulled away, resting his forehead against yours. “It makes the kiss better.”

He lifted his head enough for you to look him in the eyes. He had a confused crease between his brows, one that you could see even in the darkness surrounding you.

“Why?”

You pursed your lips. “Because we’ve been craving to kiss each other for a long time.”

“Have we?” He smirked, before pecking your lips. He seemed to reconsider it, and he kissed you again, slow and steady. “We have.”

You gazed at each other then, long enough for you to explore all the worlds in his eyes. It filled your chest with warmth, the kind of warmth that melted the snow after a long winter. And each time you blinked, you were relieved he was still there, and not an invention of your mind.

“Thank you”, you said, as your eyes fluttered close when he kissed your forehead.

“What for?”

You thought about it for a time. Surprisingly enough, this time, when Soobin invaded your thoughts, your heart didn’t constrict in your chest, it didn’t ache the way it usually did. There was some lingering sadness, as there always would be, but it wasn’t like before.

“For not being weird, about Soobin.”

He pecked your nose then, before pulling away, rolling until he was lying next to you again. “I am happy you feel comfortable enough with me to talk to me about what’s been haunting you.”

You turned on your side, until you could gaze at him as he looked at the stars. “You know you can tell me about you too, right?”

“I know.” He smiled, glancing at you once. “But today is about you.”

“What if I want you to talk to me about you?”

He turned on his side, meeting your eyes. “Then I’d tell you that I don’t have a story like yours to share.”

“You’re an idol, I’m pretty sure you have hundreds of stories to share.”

He chuckled, before playing with his piercing. “Maybe I do. We need to save something for later.”

It made you wary, just a little, to have him refuse to talk to you. But then again, if he didn’t want to talk, it was his choice. You wouldn’t push. Like he hadn’t really pushed you to tell your story either. But you knew there was a story to him too. You could see it in the darkness invading his eyes, in the vulnerability that had him look away from you.

“Alright then, keep your secrets”, you said, trying to keep your tone light.

You knew you had succeeded as he turned on his back again, pointing to the sky above. “Don’t you want to look at the stars?”

“I do”, you said, though it took you a moment before you turned on your back too.

You stayed there with Jungkook for a long time, until time started again, until the stars above became a map you knew by heart too. And exhaustion eventually caught up to you, having you yawn, though you tried to hide it behind your hand.

“Do you want to go to bed?” Jungkook asked, as he held in his own yawn.

You shrugged. “We can stay a little longer.”

You were glad you had chosen to stay, when a shooting star cut through the sky.

“Did you see that?” you asked excitedly, sitting up. “There was a shooting star!”

He laughed, and he sat up too. “I saw it. We have to make a wish.”

And as you looked him in the eyes, looked at his own stars and galaxies, you knew what you wished. Knew it as if it was the secret to your universe.

Please don’t leave me like Soobin did.

*****

“Don’t make any noise”, Jungkook said as you walked back to the fireside, hand in hand. “I think everyone went to bed.”

And it seemed so, because once you reached the fire, only embers greeted you. You held onto Jungkook’s hand, as you looked around.

There was a light on in Aera and Eunwoo’s tent, and it took a moment for your brain to register the shadows on the canvas of the tent.

“Oh my God”, you let out.

Jungkook looked at you over his shoulder, and his eyes trailed to what you were looking out.

There was the distinct sound of moaning, and you exchanged a look, before bursting out laughing.

“Oh my God”, he echoed as he laughed. “They have no shame.”

“Don’t speak so loud”, you told him. “We don’t want to make them uncomfortable.”

He shrugged, before pulling you towards your own tent. “They are so into each other.”

“They are”, you agreed.

You stopped in front of your tent. Jungkook stood in front of you, head tilted so he could kiss your forehead. He had been doing that a lot, now. And it was so sweet, so warm, that you wrapped your arms around him to hug him tight to your chest. He chuckled, and the sound reverberated through his chest.

“Do you want to share a tent?” you asked then.

Because you didn’t want to let him go yet. Didn’t want to part ways for the night, when God knew there was a high chance you’d part ways at the end of this trip.

Or maybe you were just getting tired, and your fears held a stronger grip on you when you were.

“I snore.”

You snorted, glancing at his tent two meters away from yours. “I’m pretty sure we’ve put our tents close enough for me to hear you snoring over there.”

He glanced at his tent too, before letting out a small laugh. “Fair enough. Let me just grab my stuff.”

You let him go so he could do just that, watching him unzip his tent. He grabbed his duffel bag and his sleeping bag, before moving towards you.

“You didn’t bring a pillow?” you asked.

You didn’t remember bringing one into his tent earlier.

“I forgot”, he admitted. “It’s fine, I’ll steal yours.”

You glared at him, fists on your hips. “Try me.”

He pecked your lips, and your heart did a somersault in your chest.

“You can use my chest as a pillow.”

He unzipped the tent flap as you just stood there, not really knowing what to say. You were free falling – it was an exhilarating feeling, and you now understood why people liked skydiving.

Spending time with Jeon Jungkook like that felt like skydiving.

“And put my head on the source of the snoring?” you finally said. “Nu-uh, you’ll be the small spoon.”

He laughed, a clear laugh that brought the softest grin to your face. “Alright then, birthday girl.”

You followed him in the tent as he moved in, immediately going to the opposite side so you’d have enough place. It made you realize that the tent was a lot smaller than you had expected, and really you wouldn’t have a choice but cuddle Jungkook.

Had he done it on purpose, knowing that you’d find your way to each other during the night?

It was a thought that occupied your mind, as you got ready for bed with him. With him tickling you whenever he got the chance, holding you close as you tried to put on a pyjama. You laughed in his arms, trying to wiggle out of his grasp, but to no avail.

“Let me go.”

He kissed the top of your head. “No.”

“I’ll bite you.”

His cute giggle filled the space around you, until you indeed sunk your teeth in his skin, where the collar of his shirt ended.

“Ow, what the fuck!” he yelped, and you dissolved into a fit of giggles.

Until you met his darkened gaze, in the light of the lamp he had turned on after you had moved into the tent.

You gulped, glancing down at his lips.

“That hurt”, he said, and he used one hand to massage the spot you had bit.

Even though you were now free, his gravity was too strong for you to move away. So, you moved closer, until your lips met his swollen ones, from your previous kisses.

He kissed you back, and you sighed against his lips, hand going up to pull him in by the collar of his shirt. Jungkook chuckled in the kiss, but he followed you as you lay down, with him on top of you.

With his whole body covering you, Jungkook left your mouth, to start pressing wet kisses on your jaw. And down your neck, all the way to your collarbone. He went a little up again then, and his teeth pulled at your skin as he bit you.

You whined, even though you knew you deserved it. You had been the one to do it in the first place. Yet, as Jungkook ran his tongue along the bite, it wasn’t pain that washed through you, but desire.

You ran a hand through his hair, until you grabbed at the long strands on the back to pull him back into a kiss, this time kissing him hungrily. Passionately, until he started grinding into you with the start of an erection.

“Y/n”, he breathed against your lips.

It made you moan, as he grinded into you again. “You’re driving me crazy.”

He chuckled, with manly pride. “I know.”

You sucked on his bottom lip, tongue darting to play with his piercing, like you had wanted to do for so long. He groaned, and one of his hands went down until he could hook one of your legs around his waist, to grind into you from a better angle. It had him hit your clit, and you let out a moan as you let go of his lip.

“I’m going to take my time with you tonight”, Jungkook said, and he once again aimed for your neck.

Before going down and down, until he had found a spot for himself between your legs. He looked heavenly good down there, even more so as he pulled your panties down.

Good thing you had only had time to put your shirt on, and your shorts had been forgotten somewhere in the tent.

“Take off your shirt.”

Never mind.

You obeyed, sitting up just long enough to discard the piece of clothing. Jungkook drank in the sight of you, eyes going to your erect nipples.

“Play with your tits.”

Your lips pressed in a thin line as a blush crept on your cheeks. Yet you obeyed his command again, as you lied back down. He watched you carefully, for a while, admiring your every move. It made you feel strange yet hot. So hot, like you were in the middle of the galaxies in his eyes. Like you had been swallowed by one of his suns. And maybe you had been.

Especially as his mouth met the skin of your inner thigh, and he sucked on it.

“Do you want me to eat you out?” he said against your skin, right as he moved to your other thigh, his nose grazing your most sensitive area.

“Do I really need to answer that?”

He chuckled again, before diving in. Going right to sucking on your clit, instead of easing you into it like he usually did. It startled you, making you buck your hips forward, until he rested one of his hands flat on you, pushing you right back to the ground.

You let go of one of your breasts to grab a handful of his hair, as his tongue drew a circle around your clit. His eyes opened to meet yours, and they were dark, so dark. But not with vulnerability. They rather were filled with burning lust, and it made you pussy clench.

He kept eating you out, gaze locked to yours, until you started grinding into his mouth, trying to add more pressure to his ministrations. He got the clue, spreading his tongue flat against you, and before you knew it he was fingering you with one finger, arching it to find the spot that he knew made you come in no time.

That he knew made you squirt like there was no tomorrow. It had embarrassed you, at first, but you knew he loved it. Knew it by the way he kept making you come again, making you squirt as he lapped up your juices. And that was what he did just then, making you come as he added a second finger, pumping his digits in and out of you quickly, until your juice was dripping down his chin.

Only then did he pull away, breathing raggedly. He wasted no time before kissing you, letting you taste yourself on him. You moaned in the kiss, and he laughed, before pulling away and sitting back on his heels.

“Don’t be too loud, we wouldn’t want people to hear us.”

You only then remembered that you were in a tent, right next to your friends and Jungkook’s, and that you had just moaned Jungkook’s name as you came.

“They probably already heard us”, you pointed out.

Jungkook smirked. “Oh, I made sure they did.”

You shook your head as you chuckled. “You’re insufferable.”

“You like it.”

You couldn’t deny it, so you instead played with the hem of his shirt. He took that as a cue to take it off, and you watched the strong planes of his body as the shirt met your pyjama somewhere next to you. You ran your hands on his chest, admiring him in the soft glow of the lamp.

“You are beautiful, Jungkook”, you breathed.

He lost his smirk, as his eyes filled with hundreds of emotions, cheeks tinting pink. “I love it when you call me Jungkook”, he admitted, eyes dipping to your lips.

“I know.” You smiled, wetting your lips. “Wait till I moan it again.”

The smirk came back full force, and he crashed his lips on yours again, kissing you hungrily until you were gasping for air. He pulled away then, to take off his pants and underwear. You made place for him between your legs as he came back, nestling himself between your thighs.

He ran his hands along the skin, leaving a trail of goosebump behind, as his cock rested on your pelvis. You sat up, hand moving between you so you could grab his shaft, pumping it up and down slowly. He grunted, the pillowy softness of his lips a ghost against yours.

“I’m going to fuck you slow tonight”, he said as he rested his forehead against yours. “I want you to forget about everything but my cock inside of you.”

Your grip on him tightened, and you ran your thumb on his head to collect the precum at the slit. “I always forget everything when you fuck me with your fat cock.”

And it was true, Jungkook had an above average dick. Not excessively big, but big enough for him to have to give you a moment to adjust, even after he had been fingering you. Though it always helped, if he had before, spreading your walls enough for them to be ready to welcome him in.

By the juice that was still drying on his chin, you knew you were way ready.

“Do you now?” he asked cockily.

It made you chuckle lightly, and you pecked his lips.

It was true. He was all you could think of, when you were entwined with him like that. And it was healing, oh so healing.

“Yeah.”

He smiled, a wide happy smile. Until you picked up your pace, and a moan escaped the confines of his mouth.

“Who’s got to be silent now, mmh?” you said, making him chuckle.

“Lie down, I want to be inside of you”, he replied. And it was said with a soft edge to it, as if the fondness in him had won against his lust.

That, more than anything, made you lie down. He grabbed his cock, running it up and down your folds a few times to collect your juice. He met your gaze as he did so, and your heart burst with warmth. Until he pushed in, and your heart burst with pleasure instead, making your eyes shut.

He immediately put a hand above your mouth, and you moaned right in his palm.

He sheathed himself entirely inside of you before letting go of your mouth, only replacing his palm with his mouth. His lips danced against yours, and you wrapped your arms around his neck, to hold him close. He didn’t move his hips for a time, perfectly content to just be inside of you.

When he did start moving, it was to slide almost all the way out, before he thrusted in again. Far too slow, compared to what you were used to. But it was sensual, stretching every inch of you, and it felt divine.

It was different, the way you fucked that night. Your heart wanted to say it wasn’t fucking, because really, it was too filled with emotions. Too filled with stars and galaxies and kisses that had your mind dwindling to nothingness.

It made you reach a different high too, one that just filled you with a soft warmth, like there was a bonfire in your heart and he was feeding it logs to keep it going all night. He reached his high, too, as he was still sliding in and out slowly, pace never faltering.

And even after he came, stilling inside of you, Jungkook kept on kissing you, swallowing all the little breathy moans that fell from your mouth. Until he just rested his forehead against yours, and you breathed the same air for a while.

It took him a time, to climb down from on top of you. And when he did, he offered you one of his oversize sweaters, getting dressed along with you to accompany you to the bathroom. He held your hand all the way there, and then all the way back, thumb brushing against the back of your hand as he peppered small kisses on your temple.

And as much as it felt right, you hated it. Hated that as you came down from your high, you realized you had betrayed all of the rules you had made.

You had feelings for the boy with galaxies in his eyes.

*****

The waves of the ocean were a constant rhythm, along with the wind. A soft breeze, a warm one, that caressed your skin as you floated up and down, following the rhythm, the breathing of the sea under you. Seagulls cried in the sky, as you gazed up at the heavens with a smile on your face, basking in the rays of the sun.

The ocean was calm today. Happy, relieved of the tension. Or maybe that was just you. Because you had woken up in Jungkook’s arms, and it had felt perfect.

It was a good birthday.

The cool water lapped at your thighs, where your legs disappeared in the sea, on the two sides of the surfboard you had rented for the day. The waves were small, too small to surf, yet you had tried going into the water, along with Aera, while the boys played volleyball on the beach. Aera was lying on her surfboard next to you, eyes shut as she just let it float on the water, and Minchae was sunbathing somewhere on the beach.

You made sure you didn’t float away from the coast, but it felt like the ocean had no plan to pull you in, when the boy with galaxies in his eyes had already did. Indeed, it almost felt like you were always gravitating back to him, to the soft smile he had offered you all morning, as he had made you coffee. As he had made you sit in his lap, cuddling on a chair outside in front of all your friends.

Aera had taken one look at you, this morning, and had offered you the most crooked grin she could muster up.

She had then wished you happy birthday, and had offered you a small gift, with Cartier bands in it, for the two of you. Friendship rings, and it had had your eyes watering a little, though you had kept it in.

Aera truly was the best friend you could have ever hoped for.

“I can’t believe how much our lives have changed”, Aera said, voice floating above the sounds of the ocean to meet your ears.

You chuckled. “It’s crazy.”

Aera sat up, swaying a little on the water before her eyes found yours. “I’m glad you found Jungkook.”

It had a lump form in your throat, and you remained silent.

“He’s going to be good for you.”

It made you glimpse at Jungkook, and he waved at you from his spot on the beach.

“He is”, you admitted, eyes sliding back to Aera, who had the smallest and softest smile on her lips. “I’m lucky to have met him.”

Aera nodded, and a silence moved between you, as you went back to enjoy the sun.

“Soobin would be happy for you, you know?” Aera said. It was said like a question, as if she needed the reassurance that you weren’t going to push Jungkook away, like you had pushed most of everyone else after Soobin.

You blinked back an unexpected wave of tears. “I know. Sometimes…” you trailed off, searching for words. “Sometimes I think Soobin is the one that sent me Jungkook.”

Aera had silver in her eyes when you met her gaze again. “Maybe he did.”

As you remembered Jungkook last night, and the sea of stars in the sky and in his eyes, you were almost convinced that it was the truth. That you had always been meant to find Jungkook, after Soobin’s journey in your life.

You were aware that you were falling, and falling hard. For someone that hadn’t let herself love anyone after Soobin, you had fallen for Jeon Jungkook far quicker than you had thought it possible.

After all, there had been a reason why you only did momentary connections before him.

You stayed in the water with Aera for a little longer, watching a few shearwaters flying to reach the small fishing boat you could see in the distance. Watching the boys on the otherwise empty beach – they had almost rented the whole camping to make sure you were going to be alone.

It was a great birthday indeed, you told yourself every time you met Jungkook’s gaze, even in the distance. As if his galaxies always knew where to find you. And maybe they did.

You hoped that they did.

It was hard to accept the vulnerability. To let it in, after having pushed it back for years. But it felt like you were coming alive again, seeing colors for the first time in a while. The full spectrum of the rainbow, dancing on the scenes in front of your eyes.

A little later, you noticed Jungkook walking away. He had done it once already, coming back with water for everyone, along with Jimin, Yugyeom and Mingyu. So, you shrugged it off, focusing on trying to lie down on the surfboard without falling in the water.

Another moment of peace, as you watched the fluffy white clouds travelling across the sky. Until Aera’s voice broke you out of the zenitude, bringing you back down to Earth.

“Who is that, with Jungkook?” she asked.

Maybe you knew then, that the peace was over. Because your heart filled with dread, the kind that makes one feel like the beating of their heart will cease to exist.

You sat up, slowly, glancing towards the beach again. There were two girls, with Jungkook. A tall one, with legs that went on for days and long hair that swept at the small of her back, and a smaller one with shoulder-length pink hair. Even in the distance, you could feel the intensity of Jungkook’s gaze on the tall one, intensity that she seemed to reciprocate.

“I didn’t know other girls were coming”, you admitted.

You watched as Jungkook spoke with the girls, until he was joined by Eunwoo. Eunwoo, who threw an arm around Jungkook and motioned towards you and Aera, saying something in Jungkook’s ear.

Jungkook shrugged off Eunwoo’s arm, before glancing once at you. There was a small moment, where your eyes met and everything seemed fine, until he looked away and took a step towards the tall girl. Saying something to her, and then they were walking away, just the two of them, following the coastline towards the north.

Eunwoo’s eyes slid to you then, while the pink-haired girl folded her arms on her chest, eyes moving to you a moment later. It felt too out of place, in this idyllic picture, with the lush trees in the background and the shining sand and the blue of the sky.

The moment felt out of place, like it was happening in the wrong universe.

Aera was looking at you, when you turned your head towards her.

“Who’s that?”

You swallowed, surprised to hear the gulp you emitted. “I don’t know.”

Aera was a good friend. Because she sensed your unease immediately, as your eyes didn’t quite focus on her face. Made you get out of the water, and then hooked her arm with yours, as she guided you towards the pink-haired girl, looking for answers.

Walking on the sand felt strange, after having been in the water for so long. Like you weren’t quite adjusted to the gravity anymore. Or perhaps gravity had shifted, in this new universe.

“Hi”, Aera said with a chirpy voice. “Didn’t expect to have other girls joining us.”

She glanced at you, before resuming her attention on the stranger. “I’m Aera, and this is Y/n.”

The girl smiled a tight-lipped smile that felt more awkward than anything. “Nice to meet you. I’m Seungwan.”

She looked at you, and her eyes held no expression whatsoever for you to interpret. Just a bleak look that felt like trouble, in some sort of way.

“Nice to meet you”, you said. Filling the awkward silence, as Aera cocked her head to the side.

“You know Jungkook?” she asked, and you almost wanted to pinch her arm.

Perhaps because you didn’t want to hear the answer to that.

“Yeah, he dated Sena for a really long time.”

She said that looking in the direction of Jungkook and the tall girl. It didn’t take more than that for you to connect the dots. To understand that Jungkook was with his ex, talking to her, just a few hundred yards away.

A whole world away.

“What are you doing here?” Aera asked, and all the friendliness had left her voice.

Bless her.

“We were just camping and we ran into Jungkook on the way to the beach.”

You were barely even listening anymore, looking towards Jungkook as he spoke to the girl. They had stopped and were now standing one in front of the other. They seemed close, and a stupid part of your brain hoped it was because they were far, and your eyes couldn’t really tell.

You didn’t know how to feel, all of a sudden. Some part of you wanted to be angry at Jungkook, for talking to his ex in front of you like that… But he owed you nothing.

You owed him nothing.

“Alright then”, Aera said, and she looked at her nails, an eyebrow cocked in indifference. “And why are they speaking now?”

Seungwan looked uncomfortable, and she glanced at you. You held her gaze, face falling into a cold mask.

“Uh…They really loved each other?”

It hurt you. As if Jungkook hadn’t been allowed to love anyone else before you. You hadn’t even allowed him to love you, at first.

It hit you then. He had been the one to ask for the no feelings rule. Maybe, maybe there had been a reason why Jeon Jungkook didn’t want you falling in love.

“Weird, I wouldn’t talk to my ex”, Aera said.

Eunwoo moved back next to you then, and he had a stern expression on his face. Seungwan blushed, looking down at her feet, and Eunwoo rolled his eyes, before glancing at Aera and you.

His gaze landed on Aera more than you, and it almost felt like a conversation moved between them. And maybe it did, because Eunwoo crossed his arms on his chest, looking down at the pink-haired girl.

“You should go get Sena and leave.”

Seungwan pursed her lips, furrowing her brows. “Why?”

“Because she’s ruining the atmosphere, and we don’t need her here.”

There was a smile that wanted to break on your face hearing that. But it didn’t, unable to reach your lips when you remembered that Jungkook had chosen to speak to Sena in the first place.

“They can do whatever they want, you know.”

“Easy to say for you”, Eunwoo said, chuckling bitterly. “You didn’t have to take care of Jungkook after she broke his heart.”

Seungwan rolled her eyes. “Whatever.”

She still obeyed, and you watched her storm off towards Jungkook and Sena. The two exes seemed like they were speaking vehemently and you found yourself gulping.

“Don’t let it get to your head”, Eunwoo said, voice reassuring. “Those two girls are bitches.”

You nodded, meeting his gaze. You found you were too much of a coward to hold it.

It took a moment for Jungkook to come back. For him to walk with his head hung low towards the rest of the group. He didn’t meet your gaze, moving towards where the trees threw shade on the beach, and he sat down, resting his hands on his knees as his eyes slid to the sea.

It was hard to pretend it didn’t upset you, but you shrugged it off. If he needed a moment to think, you weren’t going to be the one to interrupt. You respected him too much for that, but mostly you respected yourself too much.

You had never been one to beg a guy for attention, and Jeon Jungkook was no different.

So, you moved to where the rest of the boys were, even as Aera asked you if you were fine. You reassured her, insisting that you didn’t care, insisting that Jungkook could speak to whoever he wanted, until she finally dropped it.

You let her join the volleyball game as Jimin decided to stop playing, jogging to your side.

“Y/n!” he greeted you happily, a wide grin on his face.

You were glad to see the shadows had left his gaze, after the last time you had seen him.

“Hey”, you greeted him back. “How’s the tattoo?”

The grin melted into a smaller smile. “I love it. I wanted to say thank you again.”

You bowed to him to show your gratitude. “Of course.”

“Also, I heard it’s your birthday?”

You nodded. “Yeah, it is.”

“Happy birthday!”

He offered you a small hug, and you caught a whiff of his cologne. Who wore cologne when they were camping?

But Jimin was friendly. Really friendly, a deep contrast to what Jungkook had turned into. Because Jungkook didn’t quite meet your gaze, after that. Didn’t really look at you at all, as if you didn’t really exist. There was darkness in his eyes, the vulnerable one that made his stars go out. Like a solar eclipse, yet the moon had stopped its course in front of the sun, plunging his worlds into eternal darkness.

You didn’t know if you wanted to try to reach his light, behind the moon. Not when he was being so distant and cold, so different to what he had been like just a few hours before.

Before his ex had walked back into his life.

You wondered how you would have acted had the roles been reversed. Had Soobin still been alive and he’d come to this beach. And you didn’t really want to know the answer, so you pushed the thought to the far back of your mind. Tried to tell yourself that Jungkook just needed time, and that he’d speak to you when he was ready.

You didn’t want to put pressure on him, when he looked so vulnerable, so close to breaking.

So, you spent the rest of the day with your friends, the ghost of Jungkook following all of you around. Not really participating in the partying that ensued, as the boys decided your birthday was a good enough reason to get plastered. Not really eating when it was time to eat, and that most of all scared the shit out of you.

Jungkook had to be severely upset, to have lost his appetite like that.

Aera looked angrier, as time went by. Offering deathly stares to Jungkook, until you elbowed her in the ribs and told her it was fine. She always resumed the glaring as soon as you turned your back, because maybe she knew.

Maybe she knew that deep down, the behaviour Jungkook was portraying right now… it was killing you. Reminding you of how much you hated birthdays, how much you hated that you were constantly getting older, while Soobin hadn’t aged a year since that fatal July day.

But you had always been a party girl, and so you let the energy of the moment carry you. You knew you’d crash eventually, but Jungkook didn’t have to ruin this birthday. You had ruined enough birthdays yourself.

After the sun had set, you all went for a swim, under the sea of stars. They felt different today – colder, fewer, as if most of the ones you had seen last night had been in Jungkook’s eyes. And maybe they had been, and the loss of his galaxies could be seen in the sky up above.

Jungkook had stayed on the beach, looking at you from his sad spot. You liked to tell yourself his eyes were following you, but you were pretty sure they were still lost in the distance, as his mind replayed his memories.

Maybe that was it. Seeing Sena had had him getting stuck in the past, and you just needed to push him into the present again.

You swam out of the water, wringing your hair as you walked towards him. The oversized t-shirt you had been wearing all day to protect the barely healed tattoo from the sun clung to your skin, acting as if it was second skin to you. Jungkook acknowledged your presence by vaguely looking at you, before looking in the distance again.

You sat next to him, bringing your legs to your chest as you followed his gaze, eyes moving to your friends playing in the water. You remained silent, even when sitting next to him like that felt strangely awkward.

As if he wasn’t the Jungkook you had known before.

“Why don’t you enjoy yourself with everyone?” he asked after a while. His voice sounded different, distant, as if he indeed was lost in the past.

You shrugged. “I want to spend time with you too.”

“Oh.” He fell silent, for a long time, before he scraped his throat. “Are you enjoying your birthday?”

You wanted to be angry at him, then. To tell him that he had been acting like a dick, all day, but really, you didn’t find it in you to be that honest with him.

Not when a part of you still believed he could be redeemed.

“It’s been…” you trailed off, as Minchae screamed from the water, right before her scream was cut off by Jaehyun pulling her under the surface with him. “It’s been fun.”

You glanced at his profile. Willed his eyes to slide to yours, but they remained on the horizon of his past.

“You can talk to me, you know”, you said. A hand held out for him, if he was willing to take it.

You watched his Adam apple bob as he swallowed. His eyes fell to the sand in front of him, and he slowly shook his head. “I don’t want to talk.”

It angered you. Just a little. And maybe if you hadn’t drunk before, honesty wouldn’t have found its way to your mouth. But there was nothing to stop it now, no inhibitions left behind.

“It’s a little unfair, don’t you think?” you said. “I offered you my secrets last night, my biggest vulnerabilities, and still you remain closed off.”

His brows knit on his face. Maybe you had gone too far, but you wanted to get a reaction out of him. Anything, to shake him out of the darkness in his eyes.

“Isn’t that a little selfish?” he asked. “To expect me to talk just because you confided in me.”

Maybe it was. Maybe it was inherently selfish, to expect him to give you something of him too. To believe you were owed a piece of him, when you had offered him the biggest piece of you last night. But you had always been a firm believer that people couldn’t just take in life. Life was about giving and receiving.

Maybe you were selfish indeed.

“You don’t have to if you don’t want to”, you said, voice a little strained from the offense that had taken over you, at being called selfish.

Because even if you knew some part of you was, no one liked to be told their flaws.

“Well, I won’t.”

There was a heavy silence then. A silence empty of all the warmth he had brought to you last night and this morning. A silence empty of the feeling of his soft lips against yours, and the praises he had whispered on your skin. It made you swallow a sudden lump in your throat, and you got up.

You needed to escape, before his vulnerability reached you too.

“Alright then”, you let out flatly. “You know where to find me if you change your mind.”

You took a couple of steps away, before turning to look at him. His eyes were staring at the spot where you had been sitting a moment ago, and it made you ache. Ache as you wanted to still be sitting there, and to have his eyes on you instead.

“I’m going to take a shower, I’ll meet you all at the tents.”

He nodded, almost imperceptibly, and you turned back around. Leaving him in his darkness, and in the sorrow that was plaguing him.

The shower you took was long. Cold, as if the heater had gone out, like the warmth in Jungkook’s eyes had. And when you were done, you stayed in the bathroom a little longer. In its artificial light, a light that suddenly felt safe. Safer than whatever was inhabiting Jungkook.

Maybe you were a coward, for dreading the moment you’d go back to the camping site. Maybe you were a coward indeed.

It took you a while to collect yourself. To remind yourself that Jungkook’s behaviour didn’t have to matter. That tomorrow you’d go back to Seoul and you could pretend the weekend had never happened. Could pretend that Jeon Jungkook’s journey in your life had never happened.

You missed home, then. Not your parents’ house. No, you missed the safety of Soobin’s arms, where nothing had ever been wrong. Where the universe had always felt like it was running on the right course, and not derailing, spinning off its axis.

You collected your stuff, before glancing at yourself in the mirror one last time. Breathing in, holding your breath, before letting it out. Your heart didn’t quite seem like it wanted you to go out in the night again, but you steeled yourself, willing it to stop guiding your every move, and you stepped outside.

The contrast from the neon lights to the lone yellow lamp next to the door had you blinking a few times, trying to bring your eyes to focus. It took a moment for them to adjust, and once they did, you started the walk back, choosing the darkness of the night as your companion, instead of using the flashlight of your phone to guide you.

Your steps knew where to take you, and a few minutes later you could hear the sound of music and laughter. It felt out of place, that happy universe of your friends, when you were unsure what to feel. Yet you let your face break into a smile, as you stepped into the circle of light that encompassed the camping site.

Your eyes scanned the scene – Minchae and Jaehyun cuddling next to the fire, eating marshmallows together, while Mingyu tended to the flames. Eunwoo, Aera, and Yugyeom, playing a drinking game with Jimin laughing his ass off rolling on the ground next to them. They looked happy, all of them, a scenery straight from a coming-of-age movie. It gave you a little warmth, to know that you’d have the chance to participate in it, to become part of the scene, if you let yourself.

But something was missing. Its absence was far brighter than the happiness, as if the key to the keyhole was missing.

Jungkook wasn’t there. And your eyes searched for him, instinctively, until you had walked closer to the fire, aiming for your tent so you could put your stuff down. When you passed next to Mingyu, he met your inquisitive gaze, and you immediately knew what he was going to say.

“Don’t look for him”, he said. “He left with Sena, saying they needed to talk.”

You stopped walking, holding onto your stuff as if it’d anchor you. “Did he say how long he’ll be gone?”

Minchae was the one to answer. “Y/n, just forget him, we all can see how hung up he still is over her.”

You looked at her, cocking an eyebrow, right as Jaehyun said something in her ear. She looked sheepish, then, as if she hadn’t realized her words had come off as mean.

“Sorry”, she apologized, and then she shrugged her shoulders. “You’re way better than her anyway, she’s built like a skeleton.”

You snorted, laughter bubbling from the least expected place. You had never liked Minchae, but the way she had said it… It made you smile, and you let Jungkook go from your thoughts.

At least you hoped you did.

“Then make me some marshmallows, and we should all play Titanic after.”

Minchae smiled a wicked smile, and for the first time in your life you found yourself liking her. Her and her usual better-than-you attitude. Because maybe she was, and you had always just been jealous.

It didn’t matter anymore, not as you returned to partying, and Jungkook dwindled away from your thoughts with each mix of beer and soju you had to drink – you had always sucked at Titanic. Not when the stars up above started feeling right again, because friends had always been more important to you anyway.

Friends that were willing to party for your birthday like that, mostly. Especially Aera, and her shamelessness in making the most sexual jokes she could think of, making everyone cringe but you and Eunwoo. Jimin too, and the friendliness that was oozing from him.

Jimin knew how to have fun, and how to make sure the people around him were having fun too. He was a kind soul, a gentle soul, and you were happy his shadows had lifted. He looked a lot better when he was shining like that.

Maybe that was why you found yourself sitting at the fire with him, sometime before dawn. Sometime after everyone had gone to bed, and you had decided to prolong the night a little, holding on to its revelry and happiness.

Holding on to everything that could chase the boy with galaxies in his eyes out of your mind.

“You’re not going to bed?” Jimin asked, and you startled.

You had thought he had fallen asleep a while ago.

“Nah.” You shrugged your shoulders. “The fire is not dead yet.”

He chuckled, running a hand through his hair. “It’s just embers.”

It was. Yet, you didn’t really want to go to bed. Not when you knew the tent was empty, empty of the warmth of the boy who had slept next to you the night before.

Jimin threw you a careful look, as you stared into the glowing embers. He knew. You could tell he knew, yet he didn’t mention it. Didn’t tell you you were wrong, for being there waiting for Jungkook to come back.

Because that was what it was. You were waiting for him, hoping he’d come back. Hoping he’d prove that Sena didn’t really matter anymore.

Jimin’s phone dinged, a surprising sound in the middle of the seaside night. A second later he looked at it, and you couldn’t help but notice the lovesick smile that moved on his features.

Maybe there was a reason why his shadows had lifted after all.

It was fond, the way he looked at his phone, typing his reply before putting it back in his pocket. It made you jealous. Jealous, because you wished it could have been you, with a fond smile like that tonight. But it wasn’t.

Jimin met your gaze, and the fondness changed to something else. Concern, maybe.

“Who’s texting you like that?” you asked. Because you knew he had a question on his lips, one you didn’t want to hear.

The smile came back, and his eyes fell to the embers. “A friend.”

“A friend?”

He let out a small laugh, a shy laugh. “My neighbour.”

“Your neighbour?”

You had a teasing smile on your lips, and he chuckled.

“We’ve gotten closer in the last few weeks.”

He had a slight blush on his cheeks, and you knew. Knew what love looked like, because it was shining in his eyes. It was a great look, on the features of Park Jimin.

“You like her, do you?”

He didn’t reply for a long time. Face falling serious, eyes searching the embers for answers. It made you think about Jungkook, about what he was probably doing, with Sena right now.

It was poison to your heart, to think about that.

“I think I do.” The truth fell between you, like a leaf falls on water. Slowly, softly, like it’s falling right into place. “She just got out of a long relationship. I don’t think she’s ready for anything but…” Another chuckle. “I think I fell for her when she called me an asshole and threw up on my feet.”

A crease appeared between your brows. It was hard to imagine what could have made him fall, in that instance, and you couldn’t be in his memories. Couldn’t understand the feelings in his heart.

“Anyway”, he said, sitting back in his chair. “Enough sentimentality.”

You pursed your lips. “I don’t mind it”, you admitted.

But you did. Sort of. Because Jungkook hadn’t come back, and you were losing hope.

It had been stupid to have hope in the first place.

“I’m sorry”, Jimin apologized. “About Jungkook.”

Your heart froze in your chest.

“Ah, it’s fine.”

“But it’s not.” He was looking at you, but you didn’t turn your head towards him. “He cares about you, you know? But…”

But Sena had been his lover for a long time. Had probably mattered too much, for him to decide to disappear in the night with her.

“They dated for a really long time”, Jimin continued. “They were high school sweethearts.”

You weren’t sure you wanted to know, yet you let Jimin talk. Let Jimin fill the void the boy with galaxies in his eyes had left behind.

“It didn’t end well”, Jimin said. And then he scoffed, before leaning forward, putting his elbows on his knees. He rested his head on his fists, eyes getting lost in the embers again. “I don’t know if I should be telling you this.”

You met his gaze then, as he slid his eyes back to you. He looked sad. For you, or for Jungkook and his broken heart. It was hard to tell.

“It’s just…” you trailed off. “We were just fuck buddies. And then he invited me here and…”

Jimin nodded, understanding moving on his features, softening them in an expression you hated. You didn’t like when people pitied you.

“And it felt as if it was something more. He…”

You fell silent, because emotions raised in you. Emotions you didn’t want to have, didn’t want to acknowledge you had.

You really did miss Soobin in that moment.

“He’ll come back”, Jimin said. As if he was certain of it, when Jungkook still wasn’t anywhere to be seen. “Trust me.”

“It just sucks that it had to happen on my birthday.”

“Jungkook is a mess.”

There was nothing truer than that. But so were you, and maybe… Maybe that was why you had thought you were a mess together. A piece of art, in all the flaws you shared.

“That he is”, you agreed. You sighed, a heavy sound, one that put a burden on your shoulders. On your heart, as it ached in your chest. “I… I think I’ll head to bed.”

Jimin understood that you needed to be alone. That you needed to flee the conversation, because it was too true. Too close to your vulnerability, igniting it in a fire that burned and ached and suffocated you.

“Good night, Y/n.” He stayed silent as you got up. “Happy birthday again.”

You looked at him, and you hoped he couldn’t see the silver lining your gaze.

“Thank you.”

He smiled, apologetically, sadly, and you turned, heading towards your tent.

The tent where Jungkook had made love to you last night. Because that was what it had been: the way he had kissed you and held you. It had been love, though it might have never been directed at you.

Maybe he had been trying to fuck Sena out of his system, all this time.

You unzipped the tent flap, before slipping into its cool darkness. It felt better somehow than the careful eyes of Park Jimin. Eyes that had known too much. Yet the tent felt empty, terribly so, and you wished you could be home.

You laid awake for a long time, staring up at the fabric. Imagining the night sky on the other side, though it was slowly lightening, as dawn inched closer.

You laid awake for so long you thought you wouldn’t ever fall asleep. But some part of you was still waiting, hoping he’d come back.

You were finally dozing off when a voice reached your ear.

“You’re still up?”

It was Jungkook.

You could almost imagine Jimin stretching before he replied. “I don’t have a tent.”

“You could have taken my tent.”

There was a long silence. “You really think you’re going to share a tent with Y/n tonight, after spending time with Sena like that?”

Jungkook didn’t say anything.

“What the fuck was that, Kook-ie?”

“Nothing happened”, Jungkook said defensively. “We just needed some closure.”

Jimin scoffed. “You could have chosen another moment for that.”

“Fuck off, Jimin, I don’t feel like getting scolded now.”

There was a tremolo to Jungkook’s voice. A hint that he was about to cry, or had been crying before. And you could imagine he had been crying, if closure had been what he was seeking.

There was scuffling, moving closer to the tent, and you felt your heart strain in your chest. You turned on your side, shutting your eyes. Pretending you were asleep as Jungkook unzipped the tent and slid in.

You listened to him move closer, until he was lying down behind you. You could feel the weight of his gaze on the back of your head, as you felt a tear slip on your cheek.

Jungkook moved, resting his forehead on the back of your shoulder. He sighed heavily. It broke, like he was sobbing, and it hurt. Hurt and ached and burned.

“Y/n?”

His voice was broken. Sad, sorrowful, holding the weight of the universe.

He whispered something, and the meaning of his words didn’t reach your mind, his voice too low for you to hear. Until he spoke a little louder.

“Please don’t hate me.”

“Go to bed, Jungkook.”

You felt him stiffen behind you. “Y/n… I want to talk now.”

There was a plea in his voice, and it just made more tears slide on your cheeks.

“I don’t want to”, you whispered.

“Please…”

“You can’t just spend the evening with her and then decide you’re ready to talk to me.”

You wondered what his galaxies would look like, if you were to gaze at his eyes. The galaxies that you had thought were yours, last night. Yours to explore, yours to make a home in. But maybe you had just been their safekeeper, until she came back.

Came back and stole him away from you.

“For what it’s worth”, he breathed, and you could feel his lips moving on you through the fabric of the shirt you were wearing. The shirt he had lent you the night before, when everything had been right. “We just talked. Told each other stuff we should have told each other months ago.”

You remained silent, as a tear rolled on the bridge of your nose, tickling it, before falling off the edge.

“We can talk tomorrow”, Jungkook said. “I’ll let you sleep.”

He turned on his back, and the absence of his contact tore your heart apart.

“Jungkook?” you breathed.

He didn’t say anything, waiting for you to continue.

“Please hold me.”

He let out a sound then, something that resembled a sob. A sound that made your lungs burn, as if oxygen had become toxic to you. Yet Jungkook turned, wrapping an arm around you. Pulling you in his embrace, the warmth of his body contrasting deeply with the ice in you.

You could feel his body shaking, as he cried. And Jeon Jungkook cried for a while, as he held you. As you remained stiff in his touch, not melting like you usually did.

Maybe you just wanted to be held by the boy with galaxies in his eyes one last time, before you exited his worlds. Before you let her take them again because, after all, they had always been hers.

*****

It was a cold morning, the next day. As rain fell relentlessly, in a light shower that covered the world in droplets of water, until everything was wet. Wet and sad, sogging like a dog abandoned outside. Even the tent was cold and wet. Even with the body of the man beside you.

You had been looking at him for a while, in the gray morning light. Jungkook had fallen asleep crying, last night, and his eyes were all puffed up, even with the serenity sleep had given him. You didn’t know if you had slept – most of you had just wanted to engrave the feeling of him against you in your memory.

Maybe you had dozed off, at some point, because you hadn’t realized it was raining until everything was wet, humidity clinging to your every move.

Not that you moved at all, lying there and looking at Jungkook.

You wondered what had gotten him to cry like that last night. Had it been Sena, and the conversation they had had? Because you believed him, when he said they had just talked. It wasn’t like he would have gained anything by lying.

Or was it because of the blame Jimin had thrown at him?

You didn’t want to think it had been because of you. You doubted you held a place important enough in his life to have him break down like that, when he had been the one to disappear into the night.

You imagined what Soobin would have said, if he had been there. And it was a stupid thing to do, because if Soobin had been there you never would have been with Jungkook. You never would have made a deal with the devil.

The tears you had cried last night didn’t come back. Their heaviness lingered, in the air around you. In the rain and the grayness of the world outside, but they didn’t come back.

When Jungkook woke up, his peaceful features fell into a frown. Eyes staying close, and you forced yours to move away from his face, until you were looking at his shoulder. Because you didn’t want him to know you had been staring at him like that.

Engraving his features into your heart.

His eyelids fluttered open, and he remained unmoving for a while. Gazing up at the canvas of the tent, as if it held the answers to the universe. As if he was seeing the movie of last night on there, replaying in a constant loop that had his eyes tearing up again.

He only then blinked a few times, before turning until he was facing you. You felt his gaze on you, for a long time, as neither of you spoke. As you both knew the end had come, even if you wished to hold onto the moment for a little longer.

You could hear your friends waking up outside. Complaining about the rain, saying it was a good thing you were leaving early today. And Jungkook just kept looking at you, while you stared at his chest. While you imagined his skin under the oversized dark gray shirt he was wearing.

“Good morning”, he eventually said, with a voice scrappy with sleep. Sleep and sorrow, maybe.

You met his gaze. Balked at the sight of the dim light of his galaxies. It hurt to see them now, when you knew you were going to end things.

“Morning.”

It was awkward, as you continued gazing into each other’s eyes. You wondered what Jungkook could see, in yours. If he could read you, like you had thought you could read him. But clearly you had been wrong. Oh had you been wrong.

“You look tired.”

He spoke carefully, as if they hid a different meaning, his words.

“Oh”, you let out flatly. “I didn’t really sleep.”

He looked away then, face falling on a spot on your chest. “I’m sorry.”

Was he truly sorry? It was hard to tell, when he had done what he had done on purpose. You wondered if he would have stayed, had you not run away on the beach. But you didn’t want to blame yourself. Just wanted to head home, until you could hold the plush toy Soobin had won for you at the last fair you had visited together.

“We should get up”, you whispered.

Jungkook wet his lips. Played with his piercing for a time. He looked like he wanted to say something, but couldn’t find the words. Couldn’t voice the feelings inside of him.

Had he struggled like that when he had spoken to her last night?

“I’m sorry”, he repeated.

He did look apologetic. Remorseful, even, and it just made you want to punch him in the chest. Until his heart ached like yours had ached last night.

“What for?”

He didn’t really meet your gaze, though his eyes moved up until they were looking at your slightly parted lips.

“Everything.”

You scoffed, before sitting up. “Let’s just get up and help the others pack.”

“Y/n…”

You glared at him then. Glared at him with every jagged piece left in you. “Don’t say my name like that.”

He sat up too and his tattooed hand reached between you. Wiped a tear on your cheek. One you hadn’t felt slipping out of your eye, and it startled you, somehow. Because he looked at the lone tear, and his galaxies turned dark. Filled with hatred, directed at himself for what had happened last night.

You wished you could reassure him, but you didn’t have it in you. Weren’t the one that was going to comfort the boy with galaxies in his eyes anymore.

“I talked to her about you.”

The words felt like a jab to your heart, and you clenched your jaw. “Stop, Jungkook.”

“You said we could talk today.”

You scoffed, again, a bitter sound that felt like nails scraping on a chalkboard.

“You did. I just want to go home.”

He looked at you for a long time, a war in his mind and in his heart. You watched the conflict unfolding, jaw still clenched. Nails digging in your palms, as you held your hands in fists. Trying to focus on the physical pain, because you had never been good with the emotional kind.

“Okay”, he gave in. “Okay.”

You wished he had said something else. Wished he had fought for you, then. But he didn’t. Instead, he moved to the opening of the tent, unzipped it and stepped outside. Leaving you alone to pack up your stuff. And you did so, blinking back furious tears.

Jungkook came back, a moment later, zipping the flap of the tent behind him. Kneeling next to you to help you, until you were pulling on the sleeping bag he was holding.

“Let me do it”, you said, and he shook his head.

“I’m not going to let you slip away.”

You threw the sleeping bag at him. It hit his chest, before falling in front of him. Your gazes connected, saying more than words ever could. A moment later, you were crashing your lips together, meeting halfway.

Jungkook’s hands moved to your cheeks as your lips meshed together, teeth clashing in a flash of pain you ignored, as you grabbed a handful of his shirt to pull him closer. Until you were lying down with him on top of you.

Was it wrong of you to want to indulge in him one last time? Maybe it was. Terribly so, but you couldn’t stop. Jeon Jungkook and his galaxies were a drug, the beautifully intoxicating kind, that would leave you crawling, half dead, when his time in your life ended.

The kiss and his touches were hungry. Not so gentle, not like he had always been.

One last time, one last time, one last time…

The words were a litany in your mind, as he fucked you, lips never leaving yours. Mouth swallowing every little one of your sounds, as you dug your nails in the skin of his back. Leaving marks on him, for him to remember you when you’d be gone.

It was desperate, how your bodies moved together. Until you were spent, and he stayed on top of you, forehead resting against yours. He was sweaty, but so were you, and it didn’t matter anymore.

You didn’t move for a really long time, breathing in the same air. Your hands were on his waist, his delicate waist that you had loved to wrap your legs around, for the whole of your relationship. Of your deal or whatever it had been.

“Can we stay here forever?” he breathed against your lips, and you held him tighter.

You wanted to say yes. To say that time could stop for you, then, but there were too many words left unsaid, in the space between you. Words you had wanted to say, would have said had it not been for last night.

Maybe you were a coward, for dodging the conversation with him. But you weren’t sure it was worth it when the end was already written.

“Do you remember the first time we kissed?” you asked.

It wasn’t like there were many times anyway.

“In your tattoo shop?”

“We shouldn’t have kissed again after that.”

Because the kisses… they had meant too much. They had pushed you off the edge, had made you fall into him, into a man that couldn’t be reached, emotionally.

Or maybe you were the one wanting to flee. And you were. You would give anything not to have these feelings inside of you.

“I don’t regret kissing you.” He ran a hand on the side of your jaw. “I’d do it all again, no matter the outcome.”

You held him tighter, closer.

“In fact, I should have kissed you before”, he continued. “Should have kissed you every time I wanted to.”

The pain was becoming numb now. Still suffocating, still burning, but your nerves were at the end of their suffering. At the end of their lives. Because you were dying right there.

Was Soobin going to be waiting for you, on the other side?

“I’m glad you didn’t”, you breathed.

Jungkook didn’t move, didn’t seem to breathe for a time. “Why?”

“Because it’d make it harder.”

“Make what harder?”

You ran a hand on his back, following the pattern of his muscles under the skin. “Stopping this.”

He pulled away then, searching your gaze. “No.”

You smiled at him, sadly. “Jungkook, we both knew it wasn’t going to last.”

“No”, he repeated, and he looked so terrified, eyes filled with dread as his lips spread in a tight line, colors leaving his features.

“I can’t be with you.”

He moved until he was sitting next to you, and you watched him, carefully, as his features turned darker. As he looked like he was nauseous.

You had never seen a heart break like Jungkook’s heart did. As if he had assembled his pieces back the wrong way, and you had smashed the glass unforgivingly.

“Why?”

You chuckled as you sat up, bitterly. “Because it’s Sena. It’s Soobin and it’s Sena and what we did was wrong.”

“But it’s not her”, he insisted. He scanned your features, eyes a little wide. “I just needed the closure.”

Closure you’d never have with Soobin.

“Don’t lie to me.”

“I’m not lying, Y/n, I swear.”

You brushed a tear on your cheek. “Then you should have stayed last night.”

“Don’t tell me you wouldn’t have gone to Soobin, if you had had the option.”

You froze, in your spot. He couldn’t have said that, right?

“Excuse me?”

“You blame it on Sena, but it’s about Soobin, isn’t it?”

You didn’t know what to say anymore. So, you grabbed your clothes, putting them back on in quick motions, as he watched you. Cautiously, as if realizing he had said the wrong thing.

But he couldn’t take the words back.

He got dressed too, as you finished folding the sleeping bag. As you paid attention to the sounds outside, and realized that your friends were gone. All that was left was the splattering of the rain on the canvas over the tent.

“Soobin is dead”, you said once the sleeping bag was neatly folded. “Nothing is ever going to change that. I won’t ever get to have closure with him.”

“I’m sorry I said…”

“Don’t fucking be”, you interrupted. “We’re done. Let’s just go home.”

“Y/n, please…”

You avoided the shattering of his heart in his eyes, because you didn’t want him to see you break. Because you were breaking too, and it was ugly. Bloody, as the pieces cut through you.

“Let’s go home.”

“I’m sorry.”

The boy with galaxies in his eyes did look sorry, with the silver lining his gaze. But it didn’t matter anymore.

It didn’t matter anymore.

*****

Seoul felt different in the few weeks after the camping trip. City life spinning around you, leaving you dizzy, as you went to work, then went home. Only to start again the next day, avoiding your friends, avoiding your parents. Tattooing felt different, too, and you often found yourself getting lost in the lines you drew.

You thought of Soobin a lot, in the weeks that followed the camping trip. From the moment Jungkook had dropped you at your place, begging you not to end things one last time. You hadn’t budged from your decision, and he had left, slipping away from your life as if he had never been there.

You had known, when he had said it, that he was right. That it indeed was about Soobin. About the guilt you had for falling in love with someone else, when he was never going to fall in love again. But it had also been about the fact that you had been a rebound, for Jungkook. Someone to use while he was trying to forget Sena.

You were selfish, inherently so, to try to put the blame on him. But it was the only thing keeping you going, and so you did it. Found reasons to hate him more every day, to hate the ways his galaxies had felt like home, to hate the night sky and Jungkook’s gentle touches. To hate the way he had laughed with you, smiled his bunny smile to you. To hate how you had explored his worlds, imagining they were unspoiled, when she had been there before.

One thing you didn’t regret about the whole ordeal was the tattoo on the inside of your arm. The celestial body that you had permanently inked into you. It, and its slightly crooked line, where Jungkook had drawn it on your skin.

It was your favourite tattoo now. Because it wasn’t perfect, and it told a different story. A new one, that reminded you that life hadn’t stopped when Soobin had died.

That there was a whole life outside still, and that you could be a part of it now too.

You were always going to be thankful to Jungkook for that. For reminding you that there was more out there, even if you had refused to let yourself experience it for so long. But it had been red with flags, your relationship with Jungkook. From the very first time. From the moment he had refused to tell you his story.

Maybe you would have understood better, had he told you about Sena. Had he not kept her a secret, even after you had been made aware of her existence. Maybe you would have wanted to listen to him, at the end, if it hadn’t been for that.

But you were at peace with your decision. It would take a little longer before you let anyone in, but getting your heart broken by Jeon Jungkook had woken you up from a deep slumber.

You would let yourself live again, now. Soobin would want it. But it didn’t matter what Soobin wanted. Didn’t matter anymore. What mattered was what you wanted, and you wanted to experience it all. To have the butterflies of the beginning of a relationship again, to fight only to make up, to sleep and wake up with your head on someone’s chest. To listen to the beat of their heart and tell yourself it belonged to you.

You had forgotten how much you had been a hopeless romantic, before Soobin had died. Reconnecting with that part of you felt like a breath of fresh air, like you had been stuck under the ground for years and you were finally walking free, seeing the sun and the sky and feeling the wind again.

But not the night sky. No, the night sky was a ghost in your life, because it never compared to him.

It was strange, that your grief for Soobin had healed like that, after losing Jungkook. That you had stopped missing Soobin, once you had found yourself alone again. But that alone wasn’t lonely like it had been after Soobin and before Jungkook.

It was different. Maybe because you were more accepting of it, falling into that last step of your grief. You were never going to stop loving Soobin, but Jungkook had taught you that you had enough love in you for two.

There would be other people that would matter to you like that. It felt relieving, to realize that now. The weight of the universe wasn’t on your shoulders anymore, even if it weighed on your heart, at night.

But nights never lasted, and the sun always rose the next day. For now, it was all you could hold onto, as you tried to forget the boy with galaxies in his eyes.

The door to your tattoo shop dinged, and in walked Aera. She was dressed in black leather pants with combat boots, along with a red shirt that complimented her skin tone well.

It was your first time seeing her after the fall, and you only realized then how much you had missed her.

“Hey loser”, she greeted you.

You were sitting in the tattoo chair, staring at nothing in particular. Your last client had left an hour ago, and you had decided to stick around. In the hope that drunk people would come in, like Jungkook and his friends had, that night months ago.

“Hey.”

She moved closer, until she could sit next to you. “Where have you been?”

You ignored her eyes on the side of your face. “Here and there.”

She nodded, and there was a long silence between you. She was playing with something, her hands fiddling with a small gray rectangle.

“How are you?”

The question hung in the air between you.

“Better than I thought I would be”, you admitted. “How are you?”

Aera pursed her lips. “I’m doing great.”

You almost asked how Jungkook was, then. Because you knew Aera would know, now that she dated one of Jungkook’s closest friends. But the peace inhabiting you was still unsteady, and mentioning him would be too treacherous.

“Do you want to tattoo me?” she asked, all of a sudden.

Your eyes widened, and you looked at her. “What?”

“Anything you want. Just put it somewhere hidden.”

Something was wrong with the universe, if Aera wanted a tattoo.

“What’s wrong with you?” you asked.

She shrugged. “I miss my best friend.”

You pursed your lips, as an unexpected lump formed in your throat. “Aera…”

She met your gaze. “I know he hurt you, babe, but you don’t have to ghost all of us.”

You clenched your jaw, eyes falling to the floor. To the spot where you had been body painting on your thigh weeks ago. You remembered the dagger made of stars and galaxies and regretted not having taken a picture of it.

It was in that same spot that you had made your deal with Jungkook. Oh how you wished you could take it back.

“I’m just focusing on work for a while”, you said. You didn’t sound convincing at all, but it was still the truth. You hadn’t been ghosting anyone on purpose.

“Well, good thing I’m here to get a tattoo.”

“Is that why you brought a USB stick?”

Her eyes fell to the rectangle in her hands. “Oh, that?” She shook her head. “No, that’s something I need your opinion of, but I’ll show you after the tattoo.”

The corners of your lips tugged upwards. It was a smirk, a hint of mischief moving in your gaze. “Do you want a butterfly?”

“I’m not letting you tattoo me like Park Jae-eon”, she said, laughing lightly. “But what about a snake like yours?”

That made you think about another snake tattoo, that you had traced with your fingers so many times you knew its pattern by heart now. But you pushed the feeling aside: you wouldn’t lose the opportunity to win a bet against Aera.

And she made you laugh, as you tattooed her, as she whined that it hurt. As she told you she wasn’t sadistic enough to get another tattoo, but that she was happy to be spending time with you. And you laughed when you refused her payment, telling her that it was a gift. A matching tattoo, like the matching ring you had.

The one you hadn’t taken off since she had given it to you on that camping trip. A camping trip that held so many good memories, along with the bad ones.

The tattoo you inked on Aera was pretty. A little smaller than yours. A fine line tattoo, that formed a s on her hip, right where yours was too. She looked at it in awe for a long time, after the conversation had died down.

“I can’t believe I let you tattoo me on an impulse thought”, she said before letting out a laugh sounding like disbelief. “My parents are going to kill you.”

“Just remind them that you’re going to be a surgeon and they’ll let you off the hook.”

She winked at you. “Very good point.”

You laughed before putting your head on her shoulder. “I’m glad you came here. I was getting bored.”

“You should have texted me”, she said, a little reproachfully. “I tried to give you space because I know how you are… but it’s hard when you even push me away.”

Your heart ached in your chest, just a little. “I promise I wasn’t pushing you away. It’s just…” you trailed off, shrugging your shoulders.

“I know you probably don’t want to hear it but…”

“Then don’t say it”, you interjected before she had time to finish her sentence. “Don’t tell me.”

“Y/n…” She sent you a reproachful look, the same kind of look your mother used to give you when she was disappointed with your grades in school.

You held her gaze, before cowardly looking away. “What is it?”

“What do you think happened that night?”

You knew what she was referring to without needing for her to tell you.

You shrugged, hands fiddling in your lap. “Nothing, probably. I don’t think they slept together.”

“He’s been a mess.”

It broke your heart, and your hands tightened in fists. “That’s his problem. It was my birthday, and he went and did that.”

“I know, it was a dick move. But it’s hard to ignore the fact that he’s hurt too.”

“Whose side are you on?” you asked defensively, sliding away from Aera.

You met her eyes again, folding your arms on your chest.

“I’m not on anyone’s side” she admitted. “I think you both are hurt, and if I didn’t know Jungkook I’d tell you to never talk to him again. I… I’m actually telling you to never talk to him again, because he was a dick. But at the same time…” she paused, collecting her thoughts. “At the same time I’m telling you you might want to give this a listen.”

You cocked an eyebrow in your confusion, until your eyes fell to the USB stick she was holding up in the air between you two.

“What is that?”

“I stole it from Eunwoo”, she admitted. “Jungkook wrote a song about you.”

Your heart stopped in your chest, until it started again on a painful beat.

“What the fuck?”

She nodded, slowly. “I thought so too, but then I actually listened to it. I think you’ll either love it or hate it, but you deserve to hear it.”

“He’s not going to release it?”

She shook her head. “Eunwoo said Jungkook writes songs as therapy. So, I guess he cared a lot about you and he just needed to let the feelings out.”

You still didn’t take the USB stick. “Is the song good?”

“Give it a listen and tell me yourself.”

You were pretty sure you didn’t want to do that, but you still grabbed the stick.

It took you days to find the courage to listen. Days that you spent hanging out with Aera, outside of work, telling her you hadn’t listened yet. Telling her you weren’t sure you would. She didn’t push, knowing that it was a decision you had to make yourself.

No matter that she knew the contents of the song.

The last days of August came, summer inching closer to its ending. It was still hot outside, humid, like summer didn’t want to let go of the world yet, with its storms and rains and anticyclones. Seoul felt heavy, yet as September approached, you found yourself missing Jungkook.

You couldn’t help but remember that his birthday was on the first of September. That just a few weeks ago, you had spent your own birthday in his company – and absence. And maybe that was why you found yourself plugging the USB stick into your laptop, late on August 31st. Just a few minutes before it’d give way to September, and to Jungkook’s birthday.

There was a single audio file on the USB stick. Titled The Stars in her Eyes. The name of it struck you, and filled your gaze with tears.

Had he seen stars in your eyes, the way you had seen galaxies in his?

Your hand was shaking, when you double-clicked on the file, waiting for it to open. And when it did, the first piano chords filling the air of your room had you pausing, heart beating out of your chest.

It couldn’t be real. Jungkook couldn’t have written a song about you. About the stupid business deal you had made, that had just led to you breaking his heart, and yours at the same time. To him breaking your heart too, because you had both been emotionally unavailable.

You grabbed your Bluetooth earbuds, hands trembling even more as you put them in your ears, before making sure they were connected to your computer. And before you pressed play again, your eyes moved to his shirt you still had. The one he had lent you that Friday night, before the whole shitshow. He hadn’t asked for it back, and you had selfishly stuffed it in your duffel bag, before you had left the camping.

You hadn’t put it back on since then. Had only needed a reminder that Jungkook had been real, other than that crooked line in your Saturn tattoo. It felt fitting to put it on now, when you were getting ready to listen to what Jungkook had composed about you.

You got up from your bed, moving to the chair where the shirt was, before grabbing it. You caressed the fabric for a time, missing the moment when it had been on Jungkook, and your eyes filled with tears.

You missed the boy with galaxies in his eyes more than you had wanted to let yourself believe. You put the shirt on, body craving the warmth of Jungkook’s arms instead, but this would have to do.

Only then did you walk back to your bed, lying down on it before pressing play on the computer.

Piano chords filled your ears, a beautiful and sad melody that had your heart squeezing in your chest. That had your breathing itching in your throat, as you waited for Jungkook’s voice to meet your ears.

You had never realized how pretty his voice was. Well, you knew it was. But there was something a whole lot prettier about it, when he was singing about you.

Can I ask you a favor?

You knew her, well before I did

Were her eyes always filled with stars

When she was with you back then?

You pressed pause. Because your heart had stopped, and you wished you could die. Die instead of hearing Jungkook’s voice singing what he was singing.

He was talking to Soobin. You started crying then, hitting play and letting the rest of the song unfold.

Do you know she still seeks for you?

She looks up at the sky

And I think she’s looking for you

Did you love the stars in her eyes too?

Falling in love isn’t so easy

When you fall for someone

Someone whose heart belongs to another

Do you still love the stars in her eyes?

Mistakes and closure

They don’t mesh well together

I thought I wanted one thing

But I sought the wrong one

Ended up losing the stars in her eyes

Can’t really look at the night sky anymore

Falling in love isn’t so easy

I fell for someone who belongs to you

Her heart is a never-ending maze

Of night skies and the stars in her eyes

There was a long instrumental part after that that had you sobbing as Jungkook’s voice echoed in your mind. You imagined him talking to Soobin then. The two men you had ever loved, standing face to face.

Heartbreak had never felt so real.

The music receded, yet there still was almost a minute left to the song. You sucked in a breath, holding in your sobs as Jungkook’s voice came back.

Can I ask you a favor?

Can you let me take care of her?

I promise I’ll hold her through the darkness

Let me protect the stars in her eyes

For you

You listened to the song many times. Until you thought you knew it by heart, until you could see Jungkook asking Soobin. Until you could imagine Soobin replying. Though you couldn’t hear what Soobin would say. No, all you could hear was the blood rushing to your ears.

You didn’t know if you liked the song. It felt wrong to hear Jungkook say all of that. The words had never been yours to hear. Had been his to put away, until your story was but lyrics on a page, lyrics in the mic of his studio.

Yet you found yourself growing angry. Embarrassed, somewhat, that he had written all of that. That he knew about your deepest trauma, and that he had made it into a song. You didn’t need him to take care of you. You thought it was paternalistic that Jungkook was asking Soobin to let him take care of you. As if it was Soobin’s decision, and not your own.

Your feet carried you out before you knew where you were going. In a blinding fit of rage, or hurt. You weren’t quite sure. All you knew was that the song kept playing in your mind, the lyrics overlapping until their echo made you crazy, until all you wanted to do was to scream in Jungkook’s face that he had been wrong.

Wrong to seek closure with his ex when you had finally decided to open up your heart to him. Wrong for using the small time you had had together to be with her, to talk to her and do whatever else that they had done.

Probably nothing, because Jeon Jungkook was not a liar. And still, he had been with her for hours, between midnight and dawn. While you had partied the night away with his friends, with your friends, trying not to think about him.

Trying to ignore the fact that he had chosen to be with her, on the day of your birthday.

You hated him for deciding to write a song about Soobin. As if he deserved to speak to Soobin, after everything that you had done together.

You were in front of Jungkook’s door before you even realized it. Well past midnight, yet a long time before dawn. You felt stupid, standing there. Not having knocked yet, because what if he wasn’t home? What if he was out and about, on this night before his birthday? Worse, what if he had some company over, someone that he was using like he had been using you once?

You didn’t care. You needed to tell him he was wrong, for writing that song. For thinking Soobin would grant him a favor, or whatever the fuck it was that Jungkook wanted.

You knocked. A little too hard, and the sound was loud in the silence of the night. Loud with echoes, though you were pretty sure the echoes were only in your head, made to haunt and taunt you as the door didn’t open.

You stayed there for a really long time. Knocking a few times, hoping to wake him up. Because God knew how much of a heavy sleeper Jungkook was.

You cursed yourself, for choosing to come in the middle of the night. For letting your impulsivity get the best of you. You turned around, and were about to walk away when you noticed the figure standing there, and you let out a screech as you startled.

“What are you doing here?” Jungkook asked, hands lost in his pockets, top of his face hidden under a black bucket hat.

“You scared the shit out of me”, you said as you put your hand on your chest to calm the wild beats of your heart. “What are you doing out in the middle of the night?”

He tilted his head to the side, a frown moving on his features. “What are you doing out in the middle of the night?”

You gulped. Looked down at the floor as you realized how stupid this was. Who cared about a dumb song? Especially one that you hadn’t been meant to hear anyway.

Why had Aera thought it was a good idea to get you to listen to it?

“Happy birthday”, you said. Sheepishly, your eyes finding they were cowards, so much so that they couldn’t look at him. Couldn’t find the galaxies in his gaze.

Would he see stars in your eyes, if you looked at him then?

Jungkook didn’t reply for a while, watching you carefully. As if he didn’t quite believe that you were standing right there in front of him.

“I just came back from the studio”, he said. “Did a Vlive for my birthday.”

You nodded, slowly. “I’m sure… your fans were happy to see you.”

He nodded, and silence fell around you again. “Do you want to come in?” he asked, after that silence had stretched into an eternity.

Maybe he had sensed that you had more to say. That you had a whole storm inside of your head and heart, and that it was threatening to overcome your senses and your rationality. That it was threatening to explode right here in the middle of the hallway.

“Yeah”, you said. “Sure.”

It was weird, being in Jungkook’s apartment in that context. You had always been there to sleep with him before, not to have a heart-to-heart.

Not to tell him he was a dick for using your story like that.

“What are you really here for?” he asked as he moved in.

You followed him, watching him as he threw his keys on the kitchen counter. Inhaling the smell of his essential oil diffusers, eyes diverging to the mattress in one corner of the room, next to a gaming setup.

“I heard the song”, you said.

He froze, with his back half-turned to you. With his hand halfway to the handle of his fridge. He froze like a statue, and for a moment you wondered if you were Medusa and had turned him to rock.

“Who the fuck showed you the song?” he asked. Growled, with a low angry voice that had your blood still in your veins for a time.

“It doesn’t matter”, you said. You folded your arms on your chest. “What the fuck were you thinking?”

“You weren’t supposed to hear the song.”

He turned towards you, and you balked at the burning rage in his eyes.

“Then why did you write it?” You paused, cocking an eyebrow. “Why did you take the time to record it, and add music to it?”

His tongue pushed on the inside of his cheek, and he let out a bitter chuckle. “I don’t have to explain myself to you.”

“You used my story to write a fucking song, I think you have plenty of explanations to give.”

He turned back around, throwing the fridge door open so hard it had glass bottles clinking inside of it. He grabbed water, before slamming the door shut.

“I wanted to talk to you twice before and you refused.” He opened the water bottle, took a long swig of it, eyes never leaving yours. “I don’t owe you any explanations whatsoever.”

“Everything always has to go your way, huh? You can’t accept that the world doesn’t revolve around you.”

His eyes widened, and he put the water bottle down, hard enough for the liquid to spill out of it.

“Excuse me?”

“You decided to start to fuck me because you were lonely or something, and you didn’t give a shit what I wanted. And then you disappear like that, on the night of my birthday?”

He scoffed, shaking his head slowly. “You were not my girlfriend. I owed nothing to you.” He paused, letting out a frustrated sigh. “Besides, nothing happened with Sena. She needed to talk about some stuff, and so did I. Nothing more.”

“You’re aware that it’s hard to believe you?”

He took a step towards you, then seemed to reconsider, and he leaned against the counter. “I don’t fucking care what you believe, it still is the truth.”

An angry Jeon Jungkook was an ugly sight to see. With a vein bulging on his forehead, a red flush to his neck and cheeks, and a harsh look on his face.

“Okay then, so what if it is? It was my birthday, Jeon. It sucked that you left like that.”

He shrugged, taking a deep breath. As if he was trying to calm down, not wanting to fight with you anyway. “I’m aware that it did. It’s not like I can change it anyway.”

He was right. No amount of fighting would ever change the past.

“Are you done now?” he asked.

Your eyes widened, and you let out a bitter chuckle. “Done? That still doesn’t justify the song.”

“Who cares about the song, I won’t ever release it.” He looked away from you, clenching his jaw. “I wrote it the day we came back. And you should know by now that I don’t do things halfway, so I recorded it and all.”

“You can’t use other people’s stories like that”, you said.

With a smaller voice, because you wished you had never come. Wished you had let Jeon Jungkook and his galaxies slip from your life without embarrassing yourself like you were right now.

“Got it, won’t do it again”, he said. There was a long silence, and then he scoffed again, shaking his head. “Thing is, it became my story too.”

“Are you so selfish you can’t accept that not everything is about you?”

It was cruel, the way you said the words. The way you used them to stab into his heart, the heart you had already hurt once. The heart he had hurt himself, too.

He had tears in his eyes when he met your gaze then. “It became my story too the day I fell in love with you.”

You widened your gaze and let out a small laugh. A nervous laugh, that felt completely out of place in the heated argument.

“You don’t get to tell me you fell in love with me”, you snapped. “You don’t get to pretend you cared about me when you ran back to her like a good little dog.”

“We”, he said. “Just. Talked. Nothing fucking happened. Maybe if I didn’t care about you something would have. I haven’t fucked another girl ever since I saw you that first night. How can you be so oblivious?”

Because you didn’t want him to love you. Didn’t want to face the fact that he had fallen too. That you both had fallen, and yet had chosen to fall apart.

Well, you had chosen to fall apart. He had begged you, that day. Not to go and leave him. But you still had.

“Don’t love me, Jungkook, it’s not worth it.”

He held your gaze. Jaw still clenched, eyes still far colder than they had ever been. “I think you know more than anyone that you can’t control your feelings. You don’t get to decide when you fall in love with someone.”

“But you can’t love me, Jungkook! You wanted to fuck me, and that was it.”

“Until it wasn’t anymore.” His eyes fell shut, and a tear rolled down his cheek. “You were there that Friday night. You knew what it felt like.”

“It felt like you were going to break my heart.”

He took a few steps towards you, with a dark look taking over his features. As if he wanted to shake some sense into you.

“You’re the one that decided to end things”, he spat in your face. “You’re the one that didn’t even want to listen to me when I was ready.”

“You were ready only because you were emotional about your ex.”

“Stop always bringing Sena up.” He took off his bucket hat, throwing it towards the pile of laundry on the kitchen table. He then ran a frustrated hand through his hair. “You were emotional about Soobin too. Did it stop you from kissing me like you did?”

It didn’t. He was right. It hadn’t stopped you at all. It had opened your heart for him more than anything else could have.

“I waited for you, Jungkook. I waited for you all night.” You bit into your lip as a sob threatened to move to the surface. His eyes dipped to your lips, and he dried the tears that had moved on his cheeks.

“I apologized many times already.”

“Did you mean it?”

He didn’t say anything for a long time. As if you doubting him hurt too much, for him to want to reassure you that he had indeed meant it. As if he was done, tired and exhausted, and just wanted you to leave.

“You know I meant it. I mean every word I say.”

You nodded, slowly, as all the fight went out of you. As all you wanted was to leave and put as much distance as you could between him and you.

“Alright.” You sighed, shutting your eyes for a moment before looking at him again. “I guess I’ll go then.”

“You’re just going to leave like that again? What do you fucking want me to do?” He took a step closer, and he was now towering over you. “What do I need to fucking do to make you stay?”

You tilted your head back, so you could look him in the eye. And your heart stopped in your chest, right before you grabbed his cheeks, and pulled him down in a kiss.

He crashed his lips against yours, and he tasted salty, from his tears. You imagined you tasted salty too, though you didn’t really remember if you had cried. His lips moved against yours, harshly, hungrily, and he pushed you back until he had lodged you between his hard body and the wall. He grabbed your hands from his cheeks, pulling them over your head as you kissed, tongues meeting halfway.

You sucked on his tongue and he moaned, a low sound that erased every thought in your head. He held your hands up with one hand, bringing the tattooed one down until he was holding the side of your neck, thumb brushing your jaw.

“Are you sure you want to do that?” he asked, cautiously.

As if afraid you’d slip away again, after the deed was done.

“Kiss me, if you want to make me stay. Make me forget my name.”

He obeyed, bringing his lips to yours again. Surprisingly, this kiss was slower, sweeter, as if he didn’t want to scare you away. It was more like him, that gentleness, and it made you melt into his touch.

“I’ll kiss you all night, then”, he breathed against your lips.

You nodded, just a little, and then the passion resumed, with him sucking on your bottom lip as he ran his hand down your frame, settling it on your hip. You clenched and unclenched your fingers a few times, itching to be touching him too, but his other hand still held them firmly above your head.

Your tongues swirled together, as he deepened the kiss, tilting his head to the side. He breathed out shakily, warm breath tickling your face, and he finally let go of your wrists. Your hands immediately fell to his hair, and you tangled them in his curls, pulling at the strands just a little. Just how you knew he liked it.

Jungkook grabbed your face with his two hands for a time as you kept on kissing, barely even stopping long enough for you to breathe. Air seemed optional, in the passion between you two, passion raised by weeks spent apart, by weeks thinking you had lost the other.

And the conversation wasn’t over, the fight wasn’t resolved, but you needed to feel him first, before you were ready to finish the heart-to-heart.

Jungkook pulled you up in his embrace, wrapping your legs around his delicate waist, before pushing you back against the wall. You wrapped your arms around his neck, pulling him closer. Getting lost in him again.

Finally coming home.

He sucked on your bottom lip again and you moaned in the kiss. It made him chuckle, and he pulled away to rest his forehead against yours.

“What else do you want me to do?” he asked.

It left you confused for a time, until you remembered the question he had uttered, right before you had pulled him into a kiss.

“Fuck me like you fucked me that Friday night.”

“You know I wasn’t fucking you.”

Needing to hear him say it, you whispered, “What was it, then?”

He pecked your lips once. “I made love to you.”

A smile tugged at the corners of your lips. “Did you?”

He nodded, pecking your mouth once again.

“And I’ll do it again tonight”, he added. “And tomorrow, and every day after that.”

You ran your fingers through his hair again. “You won’t ever let me leave, mmh?”

It was said teasingly, but his reply wasn’t. His reply was serious, more serious than you had ever heard him be. “No. I won’t.”

It filled you with warmth, and you pulled him into another kiss. He smiled against you, and your heart swelled in your chest.

Gone was the anger. All you could feel was the feelings you had been trying to silence. They were loud as bombs today, and you weren’t going to silence them anymore. Wouldn’t be able to.

Jungkook put his hands on your ass, to hold you up, as he pulled away from the kiss. He took a few hesitant steps towards the corner of the room, the one with the mattress, and a moment later he was lowering your body to the floor, resting you on the soft cushions.

He pulled away for a moment, as he kneeled between your legs. He sat back on his heels, drinking in the sight of you. Running a loving hand up your arm, until he found the Saturn tattoo. He traced it with a gentle finger, smiling as his eyes scanned it.

“What’s your favourite tattoo?” he asked.

He had asked that question to you once. Yet the answer had changed. You still loved the dagger and the rose, but there was something in the Saturn tattoo, something that felt just right.

“That one”, you said, looking down at the planet he was tracing.

He bent down, until his lips brushed the skin where the ink decorated your arm. “It’s my favourite too.”

“Why?” you found yourself asking.

He shrugged, lips moving to your neck. You sucked in a breath as he pressed wet kisses up the column of your throat, before moving to the spot below your ear. “Because I helped to put it on your skin. Makes me feel important.”

“You are important, Jeon Jungkook.”

His lips brushed your earlobe as he spoke. “I am important when I’m with you.”

It was cheesy, the way he said it, yet you only pulled him closer.

Jungkook grinded into you, as he kissed your jaw, and then moved back to your mouth. He kissed you for a moment, before making you sit up so he could take off your shirt – his shirt – and the t-shirt under it. You weren’t wearing a bra, and he moved down to your breast, sucking on your nipples, worshipping every inch of your skin until you were tingling with sensitivity.

He only then went even more south, pulling your pants down your legs until you were just in your panties, under his careful eyes. Panties that you were already soaking up, as heat pooled between your legs.

“You’re so beautiful”, he breathed. “I’m so lucky to have you.”

You didn’t know if you were ready to say you were his, yet the words made heat blossom on your cheeks. “Jungkook…”

He took off his shirt, and your eyes moved to his tattoos. To the ink that covered all of his right arm, beautiful art that felt like home too, even if it wasn’t your art.

But it wasn’t the arm that you noticed the most that night. It was his eyes. They seemed like they were shining with new lights, with new stars and galaxies, as if the nebulas had given birth to new worlds. Worlds that were meant just for you, as he made love to you slowly, gaze never leaving yours. Worlds that you explored gladly, while he explored the stars in your own eyes.

Jungkook had the prettiest eyes you had ever seen. And you never wanted to look away. Wanted to fly in the outer space of his gaze.

He made love to you for a long time. Far longer than he had that Friday night, as if he had more love to give. And maybe he did. Maybe the fear of losing you had made him love you all the more, like it had for you. Because the way you felt for him now… it was different. Stronger, more sure, as if the truth of the universe was finally yours to know.

And when you were done, after that first time, you moved to his room. Took a long shower, with him washing you and you washing him. It was intimate, homey, and made you want to stay forever under the warm water with him.

It was only when you were in his bed, head on his shoulder, that you spoke again.

“If we really do this”, you breathed, as you traced circles on his chest. “If we really try being together, there can’t be any more secrets between us.”

“Never. You’ll be the first I’ll tell everything to”, he promised, kissing the top of your head.

“Tell me about Sena, then.”

You didn’t stop drawing circles, and it took him a moment before he spoke.

“We dated from when I was sixteen to the middle of last year”, he admitted. “I met her in high school.” That much you knew. “We broke up because we didn’t want the same thing anymore.” He paused, before taking a deep breath. “She actually… she broke up with me for someone else. Someone that was more present for her, and that could give her what she wanted.”

“I’m sorry”, you breathed.

“It’s fine”, he reassured you. “It really hurt at first, but then I realized that I had stopped loving her for a long time. And...” He swallowed, and you could almost hear him gulp. “And it’s not like she cheated. She ended things with me long before they started dating. He was just a friend we had in common.”

You could imagine that Jungkook and the guy weren’t friends anymore.

“They got engaged, though”, he admitted. “They’ve been moving really quickly, and it’s made me realize that she had been wanting that for a long time.”

You didn’t say anything, just focusing on the circles you were drawing on his skin.

“Getting married, I mean”, he specified. “I never had plans to get married someday, or to have children.”

Neither had you. You were more of a live-in-the-moment person, and you had stopped thinking about the future, when your future had been taken from you all those years ago. But tonight wasn’t about Soobin, so you didn’t let him invade your thoughts. Wouldn’t let him invade your thoughts like he used to once more.

“Is that something that you want?” he asked, taking you by surprise. “Getting married?”

You thought about the answer for a while. “Not particularly”, you eventually said. “I’m not opposed to the idea, but I don’t see myself getting married or having children anytime soon. It’s not really something I feel like I need to have to feel complete.”

He kissed your head again, letting out a small happy laugh that had a large smile move on your lips. “Then we are good.”

It was your turn to laugh. “What would you have said if I said I wanted it?”

“I’d have said that I’ll give you everything you want”, he said, not even hesitating a little.

You swallowed the unexpected lump that formed in your throat. “You’d marry me?”

You felt him nod more than you saw him.

“I’d marry you and put babies into your belly until you burst, if that’s what you wanted.” He held you tighter for a time. “I’ve never felt for anyone the way I feel for you.”

You couldn’t really say the same. Because your feelings for Soobin hadn’t had the chance to evolve more than what they had been at first. You couldn’t know if they would have lingered, or turned into something else, something less. Attachment, maybe, because you had been together for a while, but not love anymore. You couldn’t know what would have happened.

All you knew was that you were fully at peace with the past, now.

“Way to make me feel important”, you chose to say.

He chuckled. “You are the most important girl in the world.” He put his hand above yours, where you were drawing circles on his skin. “But, not going to lie, that tickles.”

You giggled, before pushing yourself up. Just enough to look him in the eyes. To fall into his galaxies, something you knew you would want to do for the rest of your life. Because the love you had for him, it wasn’t something you could walk away from.

And maybe that was what it had been, at the very beginning. The attraction you had both had for the other… maybe it hadn’t been physical after all. Maybe it had been far stronger, made of the same thing that connects atoms together. Because your souls… maybe your souls had always been meant to be together.

Yet, a little bit of insecurity moved through you. He must have seen it, because he brushed your hair over your shoulder, before cupping your cheek lovingly.

“What’s wrong?” he asked.

“I know you already said it many times”, you replied. Falling silent for a time. “But what really happened with Sena that night?”

His thumb started brushing your cheek, as his eyes lost their focus on you while he replayed the memories in his mind. “She wanted to apologize for being with Hyunoh. Uh, Hyunoh is the friend we had in common.” He wet his lips. “But yeah, she wanted to apologize. To make sure I was fine now. And we talked about the past a lot, about where we went wrong. And then she asked me who you were. You, Aera and Minchae. I told her about you and told her I was afraid to fall in love.”

There was silver lining his gaze again.

“She said that I deserved to let you in like that. That my eyes shone when I spoke of you and that it showed I was already in love. Then she called me an idiot for not spending the evening with you, on your birthday. Said we could have met somewhere to grab a coffee and talk instead of doing it there.”

Sena wasn’t at all the bitch you had thought she was. Just an ex-lover that had cared about Jungkook deeply. Enough to want him to love again, to know he deserved to be loved again.

Because Jeon Jungkook deserved all the love in the world.

“We also spoke of our families”, he continued. “Her dad was sick when we broke up. He’s currently in remission from cancer. And uh…” Jungkook trailed off, as if he tried to remember. “I think it was mostly all that. And then she shooed me away and told me that I needed to tell you how I feel.”

He paused, meeting your gaze again.

“That’s what I wanted to tell you, when I came back. But then I saw Jimin-ie and I realized just how bad I fucked up.”

You smiled, softly, before brushing the tears out of his eyes. “It’s okay now”, you breathed.

He smiled too, breathing in shakily. “I’m so lucky it is.”

“I didn’t want to hurt you, you know”, you added. “I should have listened to you. But I was hurt.”

“I know”, he reassured you. “It’s okay now.”

The echo of your words brought another smile to your lips.

You gazed at each other for a time, until you put your head back on his chest.

“Is there something else you’d like to know?” he enquired, after having pressed a small kiss on the top of your head.

You thought about it for a moment, and your mind headed straight to that second night you had met. To the moment you had realized he had covered-up tattoos. And even though you already knew, sort of, you found yourself asking, “Did you get cover-up tattoos to hide some that made you think of her?”

“Yes”, he replied after a few beats of silence. “I covered up the tattoos I got because she said they were pretty, or her favourite. My favourite was the eye.”

He showed you where the Bulletproof was on his arm now.

“We had drawn it together, and then brought it to a tattoo artist. She chickened out before getting it too, but yeah… that’s the only one I regret covering up.”

You could imagine how bitter and sad he had to be when he had decided to cover up the tattoos. It made you think of the tattoo on your ribs, the one Soobin had inked into your skin.

“You know my rose and dagger tattoo?” you let out in the silence that followed Jungkook’s statement.

“Yeah?”

“Soobin tattooed it on me. I couldn’t look at it for almost a year after.”

Jungkook’s arm tightened around you. “And yet you didn’t get it covered up?”

You shook your head no. “I wanted to keep a piece of him.”

“I can understand. Maybe I should have kept the eye”, he said. “She was sad, when she saw I didn’t have it anymore.”

“And how did it make you feel that she was sad?”

He remained silent for so long you almost thought he hadn’t heard the question. “It was satisfying, sort of. I’m a bad person, aren’t I?”

You chuckled. “You are not. You are human is what you are. I love that about you.”

“Oh, so you love some stuff about me”, he teased, and it made you giggle lightly.

“Shut up.”

He chuckled, before pressing yet another kiss on the top of your head.

“To be fair, I love a lot of things about you”, he admitted. “Your eyes, for example.”

The stars in her eyes.

The lyrics of his song replayed in your mind, and you sniffled a little, as tears moved in your gaze once more.

“You want to know something funny?” you said through the emotions. It made your voice shake a little and Jungkook pulled away, until you were lying on the pillow instead of his chest and he could get a good look at your face.

“Why are you crying?”

“Do you know you have galaxies in your eyes?” you asked. “That’s the first thing I noticed about you.”

“You… what?”

“Your eyes always shine like you have galaxies in them”, you tried to explain, and a tear rolled on your cheek.

He dried it gently. “And you have stars in yours.”

You smiled warmly. “I can’t believe you say that. Like…” You chuckled then, and it brought a lovesick smile to his own lips. “We are so cheesy.”

He kissed your forehead. “I can do cheesy.”

So could you.

Another silence, as Jungkook lay back next to you, facing you, arm wrapping around your waist while you rested your hand flat on his chest. You gazed at his eyes. They were yours now. Yours to keep and protect from the atrocities of the world. It made you think of his song again, and perhaps there was another thing you needed to tell him, before you let yourself fall asleep.

“Soobin would be happy, that you are in my life”, you breathed. “I think he’s the one that sent you to me.” It made Jungkook cry, and you dried his tears gently, like he had dried yours just a moment ago. “And also”, you added before you could stop yourself. “When I look up at the night sky, I think of you. Not of him.”

“Do you?”

You nodded. “Your eyes are made of the night sky, what else could I think of?”

“Stop it”, he said, chuckling lightly, as his tears receded.

“I’m serious.”

He pressed another kiss to your forehead, and a slight blush moved to your cheeks.

“I love when you do that”, you admitted.

“I know.” He did it again, before pulling away. “That’s why I’ll do it every day until we’re old and gray and you don’t like me anymore.”

“You think I like you?” you teased, rolling your eyes.

He pinched your side, and you yelped.

“Shut up, loser”, he said, and you shared a laugh, until you fell into silence.

“I do”, you said after a time. “In case you were wondering.”

“You what?”

“I do like you”, you specified. “At times I even think I’m falling in love with you.”

He let out an exaggerated sigh. “Phew. Otherwise it would have been embarrassing.”

“What would have been?”

He smiled, fondly, eyes crinkling at the corners. Eyes filled with even more galaxies and worlds and warmth, every one of them yours.

“Telling you I love you.”

“I love you too”, you immediately said. “I… I love you too, Jungkook.”

He gently brushed your cheek. “I know.” He smiled, with that warm smile of his that had his galaxies dancing in his eyes. “And before I let you go to sleep, there’s one more thing I need to tell you.”

You smiled, nodding your head.

“I promise I won’t do anything that might make you uncomfortable again. I was scared when I started falling for you, and then Sena reappeared and it messed up with my head. I won’t ever do that again.” He fell silent for a time, but your heart didn’t fill with dread. No, there was no place for dread when each beat echoed with love. “You’re the one I want to go to when I feel troubled. From now on and for the rest of my life.”

The warmth in your chest blossomed into a whole new universe. “I promise I’ll always listen, when you need to talk. Even if I’m tired, or if I’m angry at you. If you need to talk, I’ll be there for you. Always. I want to be with you the right way.”

Happy tears filled his gaze. “Me too, Y/n. Me too.”

Your eyes fluttered closed, as he pressed the lightest kiss on your lips. And then on your two cheeks, before landing the gentlest one on your forehead. He lingered there, for a long time, and your heart felt complete. Felt like you owned your own little universe, and maybe you did. Maybe you did and it was all in Jungkook’s gaze, in his worlds and galaxies and nebulas.

He pressed another gentle kiss on your forehead, before resting his head back on the pillow. You kept your eyes closed, smiling softly, as he started to draw lines with his thumb on the side of your face, with that gentle touch of his.

Such a gentle touch, for the boy with galaxies in his eyes.

*****

From my place between worlds, I see her. For the first time in years, she is smiling, a smile that lights up the stars in her eyes. So when you ask for a favor, all I have to say is yes. Yes, love her, like I would have loved her if life had been different. Love her until the sun no longer shines, and until the ocean goes dry. And know that finally, finally I can go in peace, knowing that you are there by her side.

I will always love her, but it is your turn now.

☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆

Words cannot describe how heavy my heart feels after writing all of this. After posting it on here to share with all of you guys. This story means the world to me, and I hope you loved it, the way I loved creating it. This couple will forever have a special place in my heart <3

Let me know what you thought of the story. Feedbacks and reblogs are always appreciated, and keep me motivated to continue writing stories like this one!

Love you all, and don’t hesitate to send me a message if you need to talk <3

☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆

Taglist (let me know if you want to be on any of my taglists, just specify what kind of content you want to see):

@chimchimmarie

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shina913 · 2 years

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Coquet (Series) | JJK

Coquet

\ kō-ˈket Definition: noun. a man who indulges in flirtation.

Pairing: Escort!JJK x Fem-reader

Rating: M (🔞)

Genre: Fake-dating!AU; Strangers to lovers; fluff; angst; smut

Total word count: 77,727K words

Status: Completed ✅

Warnings (more to be written in individual chapters): cussing; explicit sexual conversations; hints of awkward family dynamic; fake-dating; hired escort; some anxiety; alcohol consumption

Summary: On your brother's wedding, you dread traveling to see your family–whom you have successfully avoided for over a year after moving across the country for work. In an effort to save face, you hire an escort to get them off your back and perhaps even make your ex–who happens to be the best man–a little jealous.

A/N: This is loosely inspired by The Wedding Date (2004) but with a slight twist. If you know the movie, I hope you'll still read along. I have a habit of getting prompts from random movies or shows that I revisit and then find some details that I'd like to switch up for my own personal wish-fulfillment bank so, I hope it does the same for yours as well! 😊

Comment, reblog, or send me feedback! 📩--I love hearing from readers!

❗️Please DNI if you're a minor.

➼Cross-posted on AO3

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Epilogue

#jungkook fanfic #jungkook fanfiction #jungkook x reader #jungkook fluff #bts fanfiction #jungkook smut #jungkook angst #jeon jungkook #jeongguk #jeon jungkook x reader #jeon jungkook fanfiction #coquet x jjk

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fizzydrink698 · 2 years

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pink carnations | jungkook

kinktober day 4: flower shop/tattoo parlour au

pairing: jeon jungkook x reader

word-count: 3.4K

genre: friends-to-lovers, fluff

warnings: swearing, making out, almost tooth-rottingly sweet, the tamest kinktober fic you’ve ever read probably, my inability to give min yoongi anything but the snarkiest of dialogue as he deserves

summary:

“They’re not,” Jungkook hurried to say, swallowing. There was the faintest hint of pink in his cheeks, almost but not quite unnoticeable. “They’re just…I thought they looked cool. That’s all.”

…Bullshit.

You tried not to let it show on your face, but you absolutely knew Jungkook was lying. Every single tattoo of his was steeped in meaning. He thought over each and every single one - and paid ridiculous amounts of money for each little section, compared to the far cheaper option of just getting the whole arm done in one go.

He wouldn’t spend so much time choosing these flowers just because they looked cool.

It was nearly six o’clock on a Tuesday evening. The parlour had been quiet for most of the day, save for a client here or there that needed a touch-up. You were in the backroom, half-listening to the Van Halen song playing over the speakers, noting down the inks you needed to add to the next stock order.

One client last week had drained almost your entire supply of orange in the pursuit of a tiger back piece, but was it worth restocking so much? Maybe you should consult with Yoongi, he had a knack for–

“Your boyfriend’s here.”

“Jesus,” you yelped, jolting almost out of your skin, fumbling with the stock take sheet. You spun around on your heel to find Yoongi in the doorway, leaning against the doorframe.

“Not quite,” he remarked, deadpan as always.

“You almost gave me a heart attack,” you complained, pressing a hand over your chest. “How are you so quiet?”

“You’re just unobservant,” Yoongi noted. “Case in point. Boyfriend. Here. Five minutes before closing.”

You frowned and, for what must have been at least the seventh time you’d had this exact conversation with Yoongi, you reminded him, “Kookie’s just a friend.”

A good friend. A good, attractive friend. And that was all. That was fine.

Like, OK, had you maybe imagined what it would be like to date Jungkook? Sure. Had you sometimes pictured him standing in your kitchen, making you breakfast, pressing a kiss to your cheek in the soft morning light? Perhaps. Had you eyed the way he fidgeted with his hands when he was nervous, watched the way his fingers traced the edges of his nails, and pictured what else those hands could maybe do?

…No comment.

“Mm-hm,” Yoongi replied, snapping you back to reality. “What’s he doing here so close to closing time?”

“Uh, I’m not sure…” you trailed off, trying your best to recall if you’d made any plans. It couldn’t be a work-related thing, but you knew never to schedule appointments this late. “I didn’t book anything with him–”

“If you did schedule anything five minutes before closing, I think I’d lock you out of the booking system forever.”

“–so I’m not sure, maybe…oh! Oh, right,” you said, laughing to yourself. “I totally forgot I said I’d meet him after my shift. He’s here early.”

Yoongi stared at you for a second, blinking slowly. “Uh-huh. Totally.”

You pouted, putting your hand on your hip. “I thought we had a deal. You don’t make fun of the way I talk, I don’t make fun of the way you dress.”

“How I…” Yoongi repeated, incredulous for a second as he looked down at himself. “…What is there to even make fun of? I’m literally just wearing a t-shirt and jeans.”

“Are you sure you want to ask me that question?”

He hesitated, just for a moment, before shaking his head. “What am I even…just head home, I’ll handle the stock.”

“You’re the best,” you declared, beaming, and handed over the stocktake sheet. He took it with a roll of his eyes, but no further complaints.

Coming out of the backroom, you headed straight onto the shop floor. The parlour hadn’t changed in all the years you’d been working here, and you found a strange comfort in it. The red-brick walls, the framed photographs of the parlour’s best work, the black leather seating, the…just the ambience, really.

Standing in the centre of it all, looking deep in thought as he studied a framed picture of a shoulder piece you’d worked on last year, was Jungkook.

It was strange how well he fit here. You could imagine him at a tattoo station, talking with clients, going over design choices. He was tall and broad, and the delicate features he had were offset by the gleam of silver studs in his eyebrow, and the thin ring on his bottom lip. In the last year, he’d grown out his black hair, and now kept it in a loose bun whenever he needed it out of his face.

In short, from a visual perspective at least, he was perfectly suited to work here.

Of course, Jungkook did not, in fact, work here.

He worked just across the street, at the most adorable little florist’s shop that you’d ever seen in your whole life.

“Hi,” you greeted brightly, wandering over to him. “You’re early.”

He turned, a soft smile pulling at the corner of his lips at the sight of you. “Yeah, is that…is that OK? We had to close up a little earlier than usual today, and I felt a little weird standing around outside.”

“No worries, I’m basically done here,” you said. “Let me just grab my stuff and we can go.”

He nodded, and waited patiently for you to gather your things. Jungkook was a quiet soul, someone that complimented your own more…vivacious personality. You’d met him just a few weeks after starting here, when he came in to get some more work done on his developing sleeve, and the two of you had formed an unlikely, but very close, friendship.

“I finally decided on the flowers,” Jungkook told you when you returned, “for that next part of my sleeve.”

You beamed, excited, eager to know more. Jungkook’s sleeve tattoo was so interesting, at least in your eyes – it was like a timeline of his life, little elements added to represent different phases of his life, different memories, different people. Starting from the left wrist, it had grown up to around his bicep, and he’d talked about how eager he was to see the tattoo extend as his life went on, having it wind along his shoulders and chest and back onto the next arm.

Very cool, and a lifelong project, basically.

And Jungkook had asked you to help add to it a few weeks ago.

“Tell me, tell me,” you pestered, delighted. “I can start looking at reference photos, maybe hopefully not leave you with some weird misshapen blob.”

Jungkook laughed a little, falling into step beside you. “I settled on five. Ivy, lilac, blue salvia, bluebell, pink carnation.”

“Pink carnation?” You repeated, surprised. “Huh. Maybe that could work. I’d have to play around with the colour a little, just to make sure it doesn’t clash too much with the blue and green. Are you sure it has to be pink?”

“Yes,” Jungkook replied without hesitation. “Yes, it does.”

“I couldn’t sway you on, like, a white carnation maybe?”

“Has to be pink,” he reiterated, but his smile was just a touch sheepish. “It…uh, yeah. Just…has to be pink.”

“OK,” you nodded, and dropped the subject. You’d spent your entire adult life listening to people as they explained their reasons behind a tattoo, its meaning, its significance. You knew how important tattoos could be to someone, even down to the tiniest of details. “Pink it is.”

It was that night, as you scrolled through Google for reference photos, a little cup of peppermint tea in your hands, that you realised why Jungkook had been so insistent on pink carnations.

You sat there, staring at the screen, eyes darting around the page as it detailed flower language, and you felt as if you had stumbled across something private, something you weren’t meant to see.

“So, I have a question.”

Jungkook was finally in your chair, his eyes closed and his breathing very slow and very measured. You were approximately halfway through the session, letting Jungkook take a little break to settle down and readjust while you changed needles. He’d been impressively stoic this whole time, perfectly still and unflinching as you did the linework of the tattoo.

Jungkook cracked open one eye, curious. “Yeah?”

“I’m guessing the flowers represent the shop, right?” You asked.

Jungkook closed his eyes again, not replying immediately. His hand - the left one, the one not connecting to the arm you were currently working on - began to fidget, the edge of his thumbnail picking at his cuticles. “…Yeah, they do. I thought it would be, like, a cool time capsule thing of where my life is right now. Flowers for my store, done at the studio across the street, by one of my favourite people.”

You turned your head to look at him, blindsided by this sudden compliment. Not that Jungkook wasn’t usually nice, but this was…

You were more than flattered by his words, you were touched.

“…Thank you,” you said, quietly, checking the gun one last time before taking your seat again next to him. You cleared your throat, trying to scramble back to your normal carefree persona, before things got too mushy and heavy. “I don’t know, I was thinking they were for a girlfriend or something.”

At this, Jungkook’s eyes shot open. He stared at you, wide-eyed. “Girlfriend? What?”

So, not a girlfriend, then.

“When I was Googling the flowers for reference pictures, I found a website talking about flower language and all their different meanings,” you said with a shrug. “I’ve gotten a few customers who come in for flowers with special meanings. One guy wanted an orange lilies for his ex-wife. Not exactly sure why, it was probably a catharsis thing. But, uh…yeah. Some of these seemed kind of…romantic-y.”

…Bullshit.

He wouldn’t spend so much time choosing these flowers just because they looked cool.

“Fair enough,” you said, but inside, your mind was working overtime.

It’s definitely a girlfriend. Or a boyfriend. Some kind of romantic significant other.

It was the pink carnation that had tipped you off, his insistence that it had to be pink. You couldn’t help but search it up when you stumbled across that flower language website.

Carnation, pink: I’ll never forget you.

Coupled with the blue salvia (I think of you) and you were 99% certain that this was about someone. The rest were a little less clear - ivy was affection, which you could nudge over to the side of ‘this is about someone specific’, but lilac and bluebell were a little vaguer in concept. ‘Joy of youth’ and ‘humility’ probably had more to do with Jungkook himself than any mysterious other.

But he’d never talked about anyone with you - and for him to include them on his sleeve, they had to be a big deal, right? Someone important enough to discuss with a friend?

Maybe you were wrong about all this. The pink carnation could be for someone he lost, someone he was mourning for.

…But why deny it? He’d talked to you about losses before - he had a section on his forearm dedicated to a childhood friend who had passed away in high school, and he’d even been the one to initiate the conversation about it.

And he didn’t seem upset when you’d brought up the flower meanings, he’d been embarrassed. He had blushed. This had to be about something romantic, right?

Who could it be?

You racked your brain, trying to think of anyone he spent time with. Someone at work? No, you knew his co-workers, they were decades older than him and happily married. They teased him for bringing in all the youths, and asked him for help with the store computer.

Who else did he even talk to? The baristas at Starbucks? The cashier at the grocery store? He didn’t really doanything outside of work, he just hung out with you, and—

Oh.

You stared down at the tattoo gun, at Jungkook’s arm, at the outlines of the flowers that you had done.

They were…

Were they about you?

Your eyes fixed on that carnation, proudly taking centre-stage in the design, soon to be filled with that telltale pink.

I’ll never forget you.

Jungkook liked you.

You were certain of it.

Almost.

You didn’t know what to do. Who did you go to about this? Jungkook was always the one you called in a crisis, and he wasn’t exactly the ideal candidate to discuss this revelation with.

You’d made the questionable decision to mention it to Yoongi - well, by ‘mention’, maybe it was more accurate to say ‘mumbled to him about whether Jungkook could maybe like you while moving inventory around’.

Yoongi’s response, a silent eye-roll and a reminder to restock your dressings at your station, didn’t really help much.

So, now, you found yourself stood outside of Jungkook’s flower shop, trying to work up the courage to execute the half-formed plan in your head.

This was dumb. This was very dumb. You needed to just turn around and walk away and think more about this.

You pushed open the door, gulping as the little bell above it rang.

The shop itself was gorgeous. It was difficult to describe just what about it you liked. Maybe it was the way it was arranged - the shelves of different sizes, scattered around the store, storing flowers of all different types and colours. It reminded you of an old antique store, if every antique was instead a delicate, beautiful bunch of flowers.

Jungkook’s voice came floating from some unseen part of the store, and you heard approaching footsteps. “Hello?”

You readied yourself, taking a deep breath.

“Hey!” You called, moving forward, trying to find him. Soon enough, you rounded a corner and found him between shelves, in his dark green store apron, sleeves rolled up and wearing thick gardening gloves on his hands. His hair was tied back, in what must have been a tight bun this morning, but was now loose from the hassles of the day. One particular lock of hair had escaped, and you briefly pictured tucking it back behind his ear for him.

He smiled, and something fluttered in the pit of your stomach. “Are you here to see me?”

Oh boy, weren’t you just.

“Yeah. Well, technically,” you added, nervously. “I’m…uh, I’m actually here to buy a thing. Flowers. I’m here to buy flowers.”

Smooth. Nailed it.

Jungkook blinked at you, surprised. “…Oh, OK. What did you have in mind?”

You reached into your back pocket, trying your best to stay calm. Unruffled. “Uh, a bouquet. I’ve got a list.”

Still undoubtedly a little confused, Jungkook’s face brightened as you pulled out your list. You supposed that made sense - if Jungkook was half as much a nerd for his profession as you were for yours, the excitement of getting to share it with you was powerful enough to override any potential misgivings.

“Great!” Jungkook said. “What’s on the list?”

You looked down, trying your best to keep cool, and willing the butterflies in your stomach to calm the fuck down.

“Borage,” you read aloud. “White chrysanthemums. Daisies. Calla lilies–”

“Wow, that’s quite a lo–”

“Heliotrope,” you continued, and finally plucked up the courage to look him in the eye. “Red chrysanthemums. And pink carnations.”

Jungkook stilled.

You could feel the silence settle over the two of you, almost tangible as you watched the cogs in his head turn, as you watched realisation flicker in his eyes.

“…Who’s the bouquet for?” Jungkook asked. His voice was low, but his tone spoke volumes.

You swallowed. “…You.”

Another moment of silence – one that seemed to stretch on for an age – and your stomach dropped. Fearing the worst, you quickly shoved the list back into your pocket. “Unless, like, I totally misread the situation and you don’t–”

You didn’t get to finish your sentence, as Jungkook rushed towards you, ducking his head to press his lips to yours.

The kiss was short, gentle – and when you broke apart, Jungkook’s face was beginning to flush.

“You didn’t misread anything,” he admitted. “I…I really like you. A lot.”

Your breath left you in one long, relieved, ecstatic whoosh. “Me too. I like you a lot. Have done for a while, honestly.”

He blinked, and the shy smile he’d been wearing for most of this interaction began to change, twisting into something just a little more smug. “Really? How long?”

“Long enough,” you deflected, embarrassed and increasingly eager to turn the tables back on him. “Now, take off the gloves.”

“What?”

“Take off the gloves,” you repeated, and began to smirk. “Because when I kiss you in the next ten seconds, I expect you to hold me.”

He did.

In fact, the second Jungkook got his hands on you, he seemed to get addicted. They seemed to roam almost everywhere – around your waist, sliding up your back, cupping your cheek, resting on the back of your head.

His grip only tightened when you may or may not have pushed him up against the shelves, your eyes closed, your face buried into the crook of his neck, planting open-mouthed kisses along the soft skin there. The two of you were pressed flush against each other, and every time you shifted your hips just slightly, Jungkook made the tiniest little breathy noise in your ear.

“We…” he murmured, sounding as if he were struggling to do even that. “We probably…shouldn’t, ah…”

“Shouldn’t what?” You asked, pulling away from his neck to grin up at him.

He stared back, eyes dark, that silver lip ring contrasting starkly with the red of his kiss-swollen mouth.

“Shouldn’t what?” You repeated. “What are you thinking about doing with me, hmm?”

You never imagined Jungkook – sweet little flower-shop Kookie – to even be capable of the look he was giving you in that moment, and it sent a delicious shiver down your spine.

“I–”

Whatever he was about to say, it froze on the tip of his tongue as you heard the shop door swing open – complete with the ringing of that little fucking bell. “Hello? Jungkook, dear? I’m back from the suppliers!”

You both tensed, unable to do anything more than stare at each other in shock for a split-second, before springing apart so violently that it made the shelves behind Jungkook wobble. Thankfully, Jungkook managed to reach out and steady it before it could topple over, just as a little old lady rounded the corner and came into view.

“Oh,” she said, gaze flickering between you, Jungkook, and the shelf. “I thought I heard a bit of commotion. Is everything OK?”

“Everything’s fine,” you declared, just a touch too quickly, turning to Jungkook with wide eyes. “I was, uh…I was just placing an order.”

Jungkook met your gaze and nodded fiercely. “Y-yeah. A bouquet.”

“A big one,” you added, turning back towards the old lady. “Lots of…different flowers.”

The old lady took one long, slow look at you, and you were fairly certain you could burst into flames from embarrassment at any given moment.

Jungkook chimed in, straightening his shoulders and smoothing down his apron. “So, with such a big order, I’m going to check all the items you requested were in stock. I can…I’ll get in touch as soon as I do that.”

You glanced back to him, nodding eagerly. “Yes! Please, yeah, get in touch with me soon.”

Jungkook caught your eye, holding your gaze, and gave you the most tentative smile. “I will, I promise.”

From behind you, you heard the faintest scoff of amusement. The old lady ambled by you, without a care in the world, and patted Jungkook on the shoulder as she continued on. Pausing only to throw a pointed glance towards you, she raised an eyebrow at Jungkook. “Why don’t you take a few minutes’ break, dear? You’re so red, you’re outshining our camellias.”

Jungkook only flushed harder, but he took her up on the offer with a quick bow of the head, and walked you back to the door.

“Call me the second your shift ends,” you asked, trying and failing to keep from smiling at him like a dork.

“Absolutely,” Jungkook swore, returning your dorky grin with his own. “And I’ll check on those flowers for you.”

“Oh, you don’t really have t–”

“I know,” Jungkook said, before leaning in and pecking you on the cheek. “See you soon.”

The next morning, you come into work to find Yoongi grumbling about pollen, and a vase of pink carnations sat on the reception desk.

(Note: flower language allows for a lot of open interpretation of the particular meanings of flowers, which meant researching this fic was a fun ride. Here are the meanings I decided to work off of, all taken from my research, in case you were curious:

Pink carnation: I’ll never forget you.

Blue salvia: I think of you

Ivy: affection

Lilac: joy of youth

Bluebell: humility

Borage: bluntness, directness

White chrysanthemums: truth

Daisies: loyal love

Calla lilies: beauty

Heliotrope: devotion

Red chrysanthemums: requited feelings)

#kinktober #bts fanfiction #jeon jungkook fanfiction #jeon jungkook fanfic #jeon jungkook fic #jeon jungkook x reader #jeon jungkook imagines #jeon jungkook scenarios #bts fanfic #bts fic #bts x reader #bts imagines #bts x y/n #bts fluff #jungkook fanfiction #jungkook fanfic #jungkook fluff #jungkook x reader #jungkook x y/n

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kiara-ish · 9 months

Text

Seoul (Teaser)[MDI!]

Pairing: Jeon Jungkook x fem!reader

Rating: 18+

Genre: roommates au, romance, angst, slice of life

Warnings: angst, reader is undermined for being from a small town/countryside, party animal jungkook, typical uni rivalry, reader is a miser, jungkook is a spender, fluff, domestic fluff, fluff everywhere, some fights and oh yes, smut :) more warnings to be updated with each part.

Summary: You never thought that you'd get that job in Seoul let alone make the decision to move there; even shockingly have a roommate! Knowing your luck and accepting your fate, you awaited a loud, obnoxious roommate with no understanding of your unfamiliarity to the city life. While some of it did come true, your life in Seoul with Jeon Jungkook turned out to be so much more than the cliche girl-meets-world dramas. It did not help that he was awfully attractive and has tattoos!

a/n: Although I am still very much working on a number of WIPs, I'll be going on indefinite writing hiatus after the completion of this series (unless I change my mind halfway). Haegeum should be out by July end or mid-August and well, as for the rest, we'll see. There will be no taglist for this fic. My time here at Tumblr as a fic writer has been filled with mixed feelings but with the plans that I have now, I'll be returning to being a nameless viewer after this series ends. Thank you everyone who supported, loved and interacted with this blog! Although this message sounds like a goodbye, it isn't one. Yet.

m.list | series nav.

Teaser under the cut.

Above you, the sky was a canvas of colours and the clouds, specs of dust on it. You watched the kids slip and fall into the puddles that the storm last night left as remnants. The streets were filled with faces that you have been seeing since the day your eyes started to see the world for what it truly was. You wondered if the mad man that loitered around the raw fish restaurant always looked as sad; then again, you barely knew how to read people, let alone a mad man.

In the pocket of your ironed, pristine suit pants was a heavy piece of paper. In quivering, intended-to-be-fancy lettering was the address of the place and the name of the person who would be staying with you. You've always heard how common and efficient 'roommates' were in Seoul from the auntie who sold seasoned corns by the beach.

Your roommate – what kind of a person were they? Your feet abruptly halted in the middle of the road and you bit your tongue in frustration. Father had told you a hundred times at least, to never, ever stop in the middle of a busy road no matter how loud your thoughts were.

He had exclaimed in fascination and pride of having seen it firsthand, "The streets in Seoul have more buses running in a minute than in a week here!"

But you couldn't contain your nerves as you took out the piece of paper from your pocket, delicately unfolding it to read the name underlined thrice — Jeon Jungkook.

Jungkook choked on the chocolate marshmallow, glaring at his friends in half hearted anger, "Why are we eating marshmallows? I thought we were here to-"

"Chill, chill. I know," Taehyung smiled while biting into another spongy treat, "Let's hear about your roommate first."

Jungkook couldn't help the small smile that lingered on his lips when he recalled the conversation he had with you when the stay was finalised. You spoke with such a nonchalant confidence that Jungkook felt undeniably intimidated on the call and only hoped that you couldn't tell.

"Well, 'dunno much," he shrugged, "only spoke on the call. She sounded very chill."

"You sure hope so. Who's gonna keep up with our wannabe playboy if not a chill person?"

Jungkook chuckled at Taehyung's words before noticing the rest of his group approaching, arms full of clinking bottles. As the night witnessed yet another of his raging parties, somewhere in his mind Jungkook couldn't help but drift again and again to the same question – what kind of person were you?

From 28th July, 2023

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btsrunmylife · 1 year

Note

HELLO DEAR FRIEND.

I would like to formally request a little thing of Jk being a sweet pliant boy and asking his noona (not his sister obviously 🥴) to help him wash up bc he is oh so tired!!!!

Doesn't have to have smut! Just whatever you’re inspired to write! 💛

HELLO FRIEND!!! I wonder how you ever could have come up with such a prompt 👀🤔😏

Here it iiiiiiiis!!!

I hope you like it 🥺👉👈

Pairing: noona!reader x Jungkook

Rating: Explicit 🔞 (minors dni)

Word count: 3.5k

Content warning: sexual content; noona kink, "good boy", oral sex (male receiving). uhhhh, that's it. That's pretty much the entire thing in a nutshell lmao

“Noona!”

You glance up from your book, wrinkling your nose at your roommate standing at the edge of the couch. “Jungkook, why are you whining?”

“Because I’m tired,” he sighs dramatically, collapsing down on the couch next to your feet.

You grunt and remove your toes from beneath him, then press them firmly to his thigh as you return to what you’re reading. “Then go to sleep.”

“No,” he whines petulantly, taking your feet in his hands and making you gasp as his cold fingertips touch your skin.

“Hey, why are your hands always so cold?” you yelp, trying to wriggle from his grip unsuccessfully.

“I need to shower,” he complains, completely ignoring your comment about his hands. You can see the beginnings of a smile twitching at his mouth as he wrestles with you and you know you’re only encouraging him when you laugh.

“Then go shower,” you mimic with a roll of your eyes.

“I’m too lazy,” he sighs, forehead wrinkling as if the thought alone is exhausting.

You huff. Contrary to what it seems, Jungkook isn’t a lazy person. He’s actually pretty active. Having known him for a few years through your friend group and, now, after living with him, you know what a hard worker he is when he wants to be. But that’s just the thing – he has to want to be. Trying to get this man to do anything he doesn’t want to is near impossible. And because of that, there are moments that he gets on your nerves.

Namely because he knows that if he pouts those lips and flutters those lashes a little, he’ll get exactly what he wants.

Too lazy to cook himself dinner? Noona will do it. Too tired to wash the dishes? Noona will do it.

Truthfully, you don’t normally mind. It’s kind of nice to have someone to do things for. And it’s not like he does it all the time. Actually, you’ve noticed he really only does it when he wants your attention.

“What do you want me to do about it?” you laugh, finally shaking his hands free.

“Wash me,” he pouts, aiming those big, bambi-like eyes your way.

“What,” you say flatly, trying not to laugh at the absurdity of the request. Sure, you do things for him and you’ve even seen him naked the few times you’ve hooked up at house parties, but…none of those things were quite like this.

“Yeah,” he nods with conviction, hands now moving toward your shins as he shifts on the couch, leaning closer to you. “Noona, please? I’m too lazy to wash myself.”

You scoff, ignoring the goosebumps that pebble from having his stupidly cold hands on your skin. “But you’re not too lazy to go stand under the shower head while someone washes you?”

He grins cheekily, nose scrunching as he shakes his head. “Not when all I have to do is stand there.”

You roll your eyes up and stare at the ceiling, an expression you’ve definitely seen on him once or twice. Because not only have you learned that Jungkook can be a little shit when he wants something, but he can also be sassy as fuck. “You’re ridiculous.”

“Noona,” he whines, bowing over your legs and pressing his chin to your knees while he gazes up at you. “Please?”

And that really shouldn’t be effective. It shouldn’t work.

You can’t believe you’re even contemplating–

Something about your expression must give away your thoughts because he straightens up with a grin, tugging your hand free from your book. “Come on, it’ll only take ten minutes.”

You groan as you lose your place in your book, tossing it on the table with a thud. You give him a dubious look because there’s no way that mop of hair is only going to allow for a ten minute shower. He seriously needs a haircut, but he keeps it so soft you haven’t found it in you to point it out yet.

It’s nice to run your hands through, okay?

“I promise,” he smiles, a little too sweetly for your taste.

You ignore it, letting yourself be pulled toward the bathroom, all the while questioning your life choices.

At the door, you pause. It’s been a while since the two of you have seen each other naked. You actually haven’t slept together since before you lived together, figuring there should be some boundaries for the two of you as roommates. That’s not to say you haven’t seen him shirtless because he genuinely has no qualms about showing off the abs he works hard on maintaining, but…this particular favor will be crossing a few lines.

“Jungkook, maybe–”

The words die on your tongue as he grips the bottom of his shirt and pulls it up over his head. His muscles stretch and flex as he twists and drops the garment to the floor, shaking the hair from his face and blinking it out of his eyes when he looks at you. His lips twitch around a smile he fights off, tongue coming out to poke at his lip ring as he raises his eyebrows. “Yes, noona?”

This little shit.

“You need a haircut,” you scoff, keeping your eyes above his chin.

He grins, shaking his head like a dog, letting the shaggy locks bounce and fluff up. When he stops and looks at you, it only makes you want to double-down on your statement. He looks ridiculous.

But he just grins and runs his hand through it. “You don’t like it? It’d be nice to pull on though, right?”

He pulls, as if to demonstrate this exact point, and giggles at the look on your face.

You repeat: this little shit. He knows from previous experience how you feel about hair pulling.

“Come on, noona,” he encourages, eyeing you still standing stiff in the doorway as his hands move toward the button on his jeans. “You can’t wash me from all the way over there. Not in that.”

You frown down at your t-shirt and sleep pants. “What’s wrong with this?”

He looks at you dubiously, hands freezing on his zipper. “They’ll get wet?”

And, okay, fair. Maybe you’re not thinking very clearly right now. You’re too stuck on how bad of an idea this probably is.

“I’ll grab a swimsuit then–” you begin, half-joking.

“Noona!” he protests with a laugh, rushing forward to stop you from backing out of the room. His hands curl around your wrists and tug you forward. When he sees your hesitation, he hums, thumbs swiping tenderly over your pulse points. “You know you don’t have to help me, right? I’d be really happy if you did, but you don’t have to if it’ll make you uncomfortable.”

Of course he’d be sweet at a time like this. When, as your gaze flickers down, you can see the waistband of his Calvin Klein boxer briefs beneath his jeans.

You scoff and pull your hands free. “I’m not uncomfortable.”

He narrows his eyes, then backs away. “Okay. Then strip.”

“I will,” you grumble, waiting for him to turn around or, at the very least, go back to stripping off his own clothes.

He doesn’t. Instead, he pushes his tongue into his cheek and crosses his arms over his chest like he’s waiting.

“You’re just going to watch me?” you squawk, waving your hands at him.

He smirks, letting out a quiet chuckle. “Why not? I’m about to see you naked anyway.”

“Jungkook!”

He throws his head back in a laugh, uncrossing his arms to hold his hands up. He turns back toward the shower, hands returning to the waistband of his jeans. “Okay, okay. I won’t watch…even though I know you were just watching me.”

You grumble, waiting for a moment to make sure he’s not going to turn and blatantly stare at you again. When he doesn’t, you quickly rid yourself of your shirt and pants, leaving you in a plain pair of panties – you hadn’t been counting on anyone else seeing them, okay? – and the bralette you usually lounge around the house in.

When Jungkook turns to you in all of his naked glory, you feel your mouth go dry. You’d almost forgotten how stunning this man is without his clothes on, just how much muscle makes up his body. He could probably hold you up against the shower wall and fuck you no problem.

Which is exactly what you should not be thinking about the man you’re supposed to be just good friends with. Just roommates with.

Fuck.

“You’re getting in the shower in that?” he questions with a quirk of his head.

“I agreed to wash you, not get naked,” you point out, to which he shrugs and turns around to turn on the water.

“Just didn’t think you’d want to get your clothes wet,” he mutters quietly, almost as an afterthought.

“Right,” you say slowly. “There’s definitely no other reason you’d want me to take my bra and underwear off.”

He makes a noise in the back of his throat, testing the temp of the water with his wrist – you can’t lie, the view from behind him as he leans over to do so is not a bad one. “Of course not.”

You blink when he straightens his spine, averting your gaze so you’re not caught gawking like he probably expects. Judging by the look on his face when you look back at him, you’re not as subtle as you think you are. Your gaze flattens.

“Get in the shower, Jungkook.”

“Yes, noona,” he sings through a grin, practically dancing his way into the shower.

For someone who’s too tired and lazy to wash himself, he sure has a lot of energy.

Being in such a small, enclosed space with him is awkward, there’s no way around it. The floor is slick where the shower mat doesn’t reach and the two of you knock into each other more often than not. Actually washing him takes more effort on his behalf than you think he realized, requiring him to turn and, at times, bow his head so you can wash all of his hair.

Washing his hair does take more time, like you knew it would. His hair is so thick and long that it takes you a bit just to make sure it’s all wet before you massage shampoo into it. Jungkook seems to enjoy this process the most, letting out a few relaxed sighs and moans of appreciation.

When you move on to washing the rest of him, you only allow yourself to hesitate for a second. If you make it awkward, it will be awkward. So, you try not to make it awkward.

You’re mostly successful. You ignore all the thoughts running through your brain about how firm the muscle underneath your hands is, about how said muscles jump and flex beneath your touch, how his stomach flutters like he’s releasing shaky breaths as you run the loofah over him.

You try not to think about it.

You also try not to think about the way your bra is entirely useless in this shower, soaked through and providing very little to the imagination.

…and how you’re pretty sure Jungkook is starting to get hard.

It’s easy to ignore at first, when you’re focused so much on his back and then his abs, but it gets a little difficult when you have to move lower – when you can’t keep scrubbing at the same spot on his lower stomach anymore.

You swallow, maneuvering him around so the spray can rinse off the suds you’d left behind. While turned, you wash the swell of his ass and down the backs of his legs, trying to ignore the way his ass flexes as you do. He probably wouldn’t be able to tell if you stare, not unless he twisted around to look for himself, but you feel like it would show all over your face the moment he turns around.

And you want to be at least a little respectful.

“You–” Jungkook’s voice is a mere squeak and he clears his throat before trying again. “You forgot the front of my legs.”

Blessedly, he cups his hands in front of himself as he turns around, allowing you the chance to crouch down and wash his legs without being poked in the face.

Not that you’d complain.

“I think that’s everything,” you mutter.

He hums in the affirmative and you glance up at him, watching his lips pop open as he looks down at you. “Sorry for–” His gaze flicks down to his hands. “--this.”

You can’t help it, you laugh, making his cheeks turn redder than they already were from the heat of the shower. “Why are you sorry? Can you control it?”

He gnaws at his lip and shakes his head, tonguing at his lip ring. “Not around you.”

You raise your eyebrows, a slow smirk tugging at your lips. “Oh?”

He shakes his head and his little quivered breaths turn into a moan when you press a kiss to his lower stomach, his hands tightening around each other, like he’s not quite sure what to do with them – what he’s allowed to do here. You help him by prying them away from himself, guiding them toward your head. He releases a breath like it’s been punched from his lungs when his cock, fully erect, springs free and smacks against you.

“Noona,” he whimpers, fingers tangling in the wet strands of your hair. “Please.”

“Please what, Jungkook?” you question, smiling when you look up at him.

His eyes flutter open to look at you and he swallows hard. You’re momentarily mesmerized by the sight of the hair matted to his forehead and neck, by the droplets of water cascading down his collarbones and chest. It’s a gorgeous sight, you have to admit.

“Touch me,” he pleads, bottom lip pulled into a pout – the very one you have such a hard time saying no to.

Not that you want to. Not that you would.

Not when you can feel just how hard he is.

“I am touching you, Jungkook,” you point out cheekily, pointedly nipping at the little swell of skin below his belly button.

He sucks air in through his teeth, groaning in frustration. “Noona, don’t tease.”

You kiss the spot you dug your teeth into, fluttering your lashes up at him innocently. “Nobody’s teasing. If you want me to touch you, you have to tell me where.”

His pout deepens, eyebrows drawing together as if embarrassed. “You’re going to make me say it?”

“Jungkook,” you say reasonably, leaning away from him. You’re always so blown away by this man’s duality – by his cocky, playful demeanor shifting into such a quiet, bashful one. “If you can’t even ask for what you want, then we shouldn’t be doing this at all–”

“I want you to touch my cock,” he rushes to say, voice coming out a little high-pitched. His chest and face have turned a pretty shade of pink – whether it be from the warmth of the shower, the arousal, or the admission, you can’t be sure, but you like it. “Please. Hands, mouth. I don’t care how, just touch me.”

You hum through a smirk. “See, was that so hard?”

His undoubtedly sharp retort is cut off by a moan when you finally wrap your hand around his length, teasing at the tip and running your finger through his precome. His cock twitches in your hold and your mouth waters at the sight. You can’t resist leaning forward to give him a little lick, sighing at the taste of him on your tongue.

“Such a sweet boy,” you praise, listening to the way his breath stutters in his lungs. “So hard for noona, hm?”

“Ah ah,” he gasps, hips jerking forward when you run your tongue along the length of him, following a vein right back up to the tip.

“You want noona to take care of you, Kookie?” you question, wrapping your hand more firmly around him and giving him a few slow strokes. “You want noona to make you feel good?”

“F-fuck,” he whimpers, leaning back against the shower wall and running a hand through his hair, fingers tangling in the long locks and tugging. “Please, noona. Please. Wanna feel good.”

“Shh, okay,” you soothe him, pressing a light kiss to his slit. “Noona will make you feel good.”

“Yes,” he breathes, fingers tightening in your hair when you finally wrap your lips around him, rolling your tongue along his tip before giving it a light suck. “Ah, fuck.”

This is something you’ve learned about Jungkook, something you loved when you started hooking up with him – he’s incredibly vocal when he’s enjoying himself…and pleasing him is not very difficult to do. Hearing him moan, gasp, and cry out when you move down his length certainly strokes your ego, makes you feel like you’re good at this and makes you feel good about yourself. There’s nothing quite like knowing that you’re pleasing your partner, that you’re making them feel good.

It makes you moan and sink down further onto his cock, which twitches against your tongue.

“Noona,” he sighs, seeming to tremble with the resolve not to thrust into your mouth. “Fuck, you make me feel so good.”

“Yeah?” you breathe as you pull back, taking him firmly in hand as you look up at him. His eyebrows are pinched, lips pulled into a tight frown as his chest heaves with the shaky breaths he takes. The water continues to rain down around him, but neither of you pay it any mind. Your sole attention is on Jungkook, on the shift in his expression when you twist your wrist just right, on the way his teeth dig into his bottom lip when you squeeze just a little bit tighter. “How good, Jungkook?”

He curses under his breath and opens his eyes, looking completely fucked out from just your hand and your mouth. He moans, lashes fluttering and fingertips pushing some of your hair from your face. “So good, noona. You make me feel so – ah – good.”

“Good,” you echo, getting a little more comfortable on your knees and edging just a smidge closer. You place your hands on his hips and blink up at him. “I want you to be a good boy, Jungkook. Be a good boy and cum in my mouth, okay?”

“Oh, fuck,” he groans with a quick nod.

You laugh at his enthusiasm, then take him back into your mouth, running your tongue along the bottom of his length and smirking at the way he trembles. Giving his hips a gentle squeeze of encouragement, you brace yourself and relax the back of your throat, humming happily when he takes the hint and starts thrusting.

It’s a lazy thrust, like he doesn’t really want to do any of the work, but you’re fine with doing most of the work anyway. You’re fine with bobbing your head and pausing to swallow around him, fine with swirling your tongue and drooling around his cock. You’re fine with making a mess of him, doing your best to unwind and unravel him, to make him completely lose that cocky composure he had at the start of all this.

And he does lose it, moans becoming whimpers and whimpers becoming cries, words of how good he’s feeling becoming garbled and nonsensical. “Good” and “noona” are the only two words you hear, the rest getting washed away by the sound of your mouth around his cock.

“Fuck, noona,” he whines, hands flying to either side of your head and resting there. “Gonna cum.”

You hum, giving a reassuring squeeze of his thigh to let him know it’s okay. That you want his cum in your mouth.

He cries out, torso bending over and arms cradling your head as he comes on your tongue and into your throat. His hips jerk and tremble as he finishes. He falls back against the wall of the shower, releasing a loud and noisy breath like it was the most exhausting orgasm of his life.

You smirk and wipe at the corners of your lips as you stand, waiting for him to open his eyes before making a show of swallowing and opening your mouth for him to see.

His eyebrows pinch and he groans. “Ugh, noona.”

You chuckle, reaching around him to turn off the water. “Good, Jungkook?”

He nods breathlessly, bringing a hand up to swipe his thumb along your bottom lip. “So good.”

“Good,” you repeat with a soft smile, turning to reach out of the shower for a towel.

He surprises you by wrapping his arms around you from behind, pulling you back against him. He sighs happily, burying his face into your neck. “Thank you for taking care of me, noona.”

“Uh huh,” you sigh, as if it was troublesome. As if you didn’t enjoy it.

“Maybe you’ll let me take care of you sometime?” he questions softly, almost shyly.

You feel yourself soften in his grip. “Yeah, okay. Maybe.”

“Good,” he hums, smile evident against your skin.

And, okay, maybe the two of you should reconsider your roommate agreement.

Just maybe.

#jeon jungkook smut #jeon jungkook x reader #jeon jungkook x noona #bts fanfic #bts fanfiction #jeon jungkook fanfiction #bts smut #bts requests #btsrunmylife.requests

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ephemeralbvtch · 2 years

Text

In The Pool With The Neighbour

Pairings: unistudent!jungkook x f!reader

Synopsis: Inviting over your hot neighbour to spend time in your pool because you have nothing better to do on a day where there’s an abrupt power cut.

Genre: smut

Warnings: sexual intercourse, make out, steamy kiss, half-naked in the first half, oral receiving, hickeys, pandemic time period, use of derogatory terms

•••

“Amelia begin reading Chapter 16 and Hyun-sik get ready. You’re next,” the teacher assisted the students.

You sat back in one of the high stools in the kitchen and flipped through the novel, skimming the chapter your class was supposed to take turns to read out loud. You felt like you were back in middle school and slightly scoffed underneath the hand that covered your mouth. In the corner of the kitchen a lone fan blew air at you, not cooling you one bit. You wriggled on the high chair, trying to make yourself comfortable and listened to your classmate reading.

The short dress you were wearing wasn’t doing any good and you really wished you could have it off of your body. Both your parents were at their respective hospitals serving the nation with their skills during this pandemic. You, on the other hand was strictly asked to not leave the house, not to open the door for strangers, to stay inside the house and diligently complete your studies.

If it weren’t for the pandemic then you would have turned a deaf ear on those rules but since that wasn’t the case, you were stuck at home all by yourself and your poodle, Hash, who seemed to be doing fine all by himself, asleep on the couch.

Just as you brought your focus back to the reading in the class, your meeting disconnected and the gush of air being blown at you stopped. The radio at the far corner of your house stopped chattering and Hash woke up. He looked around, looked at you and when you nodded at him assuring him it was alright, and as if he’d actually understood what you said he went back to his nap.

You chuckled at his behaviour and went over to grab your phone that had now stopped charging. It was fully charged which you were thankful for. After informing your parents regarding the power cut, just in case they called and you didn’t have any way to reply since your phone was dead by that time, you opened your class group chat. The teacher had already sent a message notifying the power cut and had set a reminder to continue the lesson from where the class had ended abruptly.

Not knowing what to do for the rest of the day, you walked upstairs, in the mood for a swim. Picking a lilac and lemon coloured bikini you struggled to tie the knot and after several attempts, you succeeded. Doing a twirl in front of your mirror, you swept your hair down and grabbed your sun block. You then walked down the stairs, and let your eyes trail over to the house next door. You stopped midway down the stairs to apply your sun lotion while watching the steaming hot sight in front of you.

In the garden next door, your neighbour stood shirtless, mowing the lawn. You guessed his parents were out of town because according to what your mom had let you in on, he was only ever at home only when the house was empty or he needed to clear his head. After all he was attending university and probably needed some home time to let out the pent up stress.

School was wrapping up within a few weeks after your online exams and then you’d be free till the next semester started. Deep down you wished he would stay over for the entire summer so you could have some fun. It was years since you had seen him. With the pandemic and your parents out of the house, you had spent almost all celebrations out of town, or at your grandparents’ place.

Suddenly, he looked over at the window, as if sensing that a pair of lust crazed eyes were on him. You froze for a second, staring right back at him. He stared back as well, since the fussy old lawn mower had stopped working. As the seconds ticked by your confidence grew. It grew the point where you lifted your toned legs and placed them on the railing and smoothened out the lotion in your hand on to your warm skin. You watched him watch you. Both your gazes being the only things that was raging the hormones within the two of you. The heat was getting you and so was it clearly getting him as well.

Before you could initiate anything he broke off his gaze and looked down at the lawn mower that lay stuck to the grass. Bending down, he yanked the rope a couple of times and the machine whirred to life again. And just like that, he moved on. You rolled your eyes at his nonchalant actions and moved down the stairs after having applied the lotion all across your body. Walking over to the kitchen, grabbing some fruits from the fridge, washing them and then plating them, you nibbled on a small but perfectly juicy peach. With the plate of fruits on your hand, you walked outside and on the shaded area.

Dipping your toes into the water, you tested the temperature before pushing yourself in, making sure to not wet your hair. Grabbing the portable umbrella floating around in the pool, your placed it over your head and waddled around a bit, feeling like a child again. Slice after slice, you took your sweet time to enjoy the refreshing fruits.

Your act of relaxation was shattered when a voice yelled over the tall brown fence,

“Mind if I join you?”

You whipped your head over to the voice, knowing exactly who it was. Your heart hammered in your chest as the owner of the said voice jumped over the fence, almost tumbling over and then acting all cool while walking over to where you were.

“You totally did not see that,” he tried to cover it up and you grinned up at him, squinting your eyes at the harsh sun.

Ignoring his terrible attempt to cover up his stumble, you answered his previous request, “Shower up and jump in.”

“Alrighty,” he said and ran over to the shower fixed at the end of the pool. Washing his sweaty body in a rush, within seconds he was running over to the pool, half slipping and attempting a half successful jump into the water.

“Trying to impress me, Jeon Jungkook?”

“Nah. I think I impressed you back there when I was mowing the lawn,” he reminded you of the staircase incident and you started blushing furiously, remembering what you did.

“I loved the little show you put on for me, Y/L/N Y/N” he made a flirty remark and in turn, you simply splashed him with water.

Chuckling, Jungkook made his way over to you. Grabbing the donut float, he fitted himself to the middle and fixed his funny looking round sunglasses. You watched as he paddled the float with his hands. He was as dorky as he was the last time you hung out with him, you thought. The only thing that had changed was the fact that he was much hotter now. Hotter, muscular and sexier.

“Take a pic, babe. Lasts longer,” Jungkook teased you as he hand-paddled the float back over to you.

“Huh? Wha-”

Before you finished your confused reply, Jungkook got off the float, lifted your body and tucked you into the centre of the donut shaped float. You screeched in horror as your felt your hair dampening.

“Jeon motherfucking Jungkook! Get me off this shit right now!” you scolded him.

He didn’t stop his sunny laughter even as he tried pulling you off the sinking float. You only made the rescue situation worse as you thrashed around, trying to get yourself out of the irritating donut float. You gasped slightly and tried holding onto something as Jungkook rounded his arms around your waist. Finally grasping his shoulders you lunged onto his slick body.

The force of you pushing your body off the float, pushed Jungkook backward. Within those few seconds, his hands clasped around your body even tighter than before, pulling you along with him and under the water. Your legs and hands found themselves wrapping around his torso and neck, respectively. A few rapid minutes later, like a submarine volcano, you both emerged out of the water, holding onto each other likes koalas.

Taking in huge gasps of air, the two of you managed to get back your breath. Running a hand over your eyes, you opened them only to meet his eyes so close to yours. It only took one lust crazed stare for you to lean in and lock your lips with his. Jungkook too, desperately kissed you back, tasting the flavour of fruits you had earlier. Tugging at his wet locks on the back of his neck, you grinded on his hardening shaft.

“You’re asking for something I won’t stop when I start,” Jungkook growled into your mouth.

“Then don’t stop,” you hit back.

You gasped when he lifted you up and sat you up on the towel you had laid on the floor near the shaded side of the pool. You rubbed circles over his lower jaw, feeling the sharpness of his jawline. Jungkook kissed up your navel to your breasts. With one skilled hand he untied the knot with just one try, unravelling the bikini and letting your breasts loose. Hurriedly, he took in a pebbled mound into his mouth and twirled his tongue around it, making you roll your eyes to the back of your head. You pushed his head further in and Jungkook met all your needs as he pleasured your soft mounds. Toying with the other breast with his hand, he switched to the other just when he had made you let out a lengthy moan.

“More Jungkook. I want- no I need more,” you whined.

Softly biting your nipple, he unclamped his mouth from your soft flesh and looked up at you and complied to your command in a raspy voice, “I’ll give you more, baby.”

Taking you aback, Jungkook made you lay on the towel and pulled your body closer to his. Lifting your legs to place them over his firm shoulders, he undid the side knots on your thong and took them off of you. You lay naked under the blazing sun, exposed to the entire neighbourhood if they ever thought of peeping over your tall fence to take a look.

But before you could grab something closer to you in case you were subjected to an embarrassing moment, Jungkook licked a long strip along your vagina. You gave out a small cry and tried to get your legs off his shoulders and close your heated cunt. Despite the attempt, Jungkook was quicker than you. He pulled your legs apart, fondling your thighs with his tattooed fingers. As he devoured your pussy with long nasty licks, you writhed underneath him. Your hands touched yourself- a desperate attempt to feel the knot forming in your stomach flood out of you.

Jungkook kept licking your cunt until you gave in to his teasing. You felt your orgasm rush out of your body. A moan slipped past your lips letting Jungkook know exactly how you felt. He only smirked in satifaction knowing that it was his work that got you writhing above him.

“You really are a whore,” he commented as he watched your exposed and naked breasts move up and down.

“Yours. Your whore. Only yours,” you replied with your eyes closed. This tugged the corner of Jungkook’s lips upwards.

Your body’s reactions amused him as he watched his touches make you react in ways he’d never imagine you would react. And when you finally opened your eyes after taking in the bliss of your first orgasm by him, Jungkook grabbed your hips and pulled your bare body into the pool.

Instinctively, you wrapped your legs around his torso. Jungkook pulled down his pants without any hesitation, making you gasp when you felt his veiny shaft touch your sensitive cunt. As you felt for his erected shaft with your hands, Jungkook let out a small groan and bit onto the column of your neck. You gasped, instantly letting go of his shaft. He took that moment to push himself into your more than welcoming walls. You were tight but he managed to inch himself in, in the process making your arch your back, your chest sticking closer to his.

He placed harsh hickeys all over your collarbone and your perky breasts. Your body shone under the sun, drops of water glistening in the parts that weren’t concealed under the water. You were like the goddess of summer. Wrapped around him, all for him and only for him to taste. Slowly, he pulled out almost all of his length out of your clenching walls and with no warning thrusted back inside. You jerked against him and your head that had fallen backwards, pulled itself forward to look into his eyes. Jungkook held your stare with his. Colliding his lips with yours again, he thrusted into you as hard as he could. You only moaned as you felt your back press on to the walls of the pool. And when you came undone for the second time, Jungkook wasn’t done with you. Not yet. Releasing his load inside of you, he didn’t waste a second, before he sat on the inbuilt steps in your pool and let you take the lead.

You were now straddling him.

“Ride me, baby,” he ordered and you listened accordingly.

Adjusting yourself, you started to bounce on him, your breasts copying the movements of your over enthusiastic body. Jungkook felt his hands up your body. Grabbing your cheeks, he fondled with them and guided you when he felt your body starting to get tired. As you felt your high coming closer, you pushed your flush body against his robust one and completely sat down on his length as you felt spurts of his warm white liquid shoot into your womb and mix with your euphoric release.

“Oh, Jungkook, that was the best sex I’ve ever had, you mumbled to his neck. He chuckled, resting an arm on your back and the other, between you, stroking your toyed mounds.

“Me too, babe.”

You looked up at him and he kissed you almost immediately.

“We need to get your pool cleaned up though,” he pointed out breaking the mood.

You scrunched your nose and nodded your head in agreement. Just as you leaned in for another kiss, you heard a familiar screech of vehicle tires in your driveway: your mom’s SUV.

The two of you widened your eyes, before you rushed out of the pool after grabbing your two piece bathing suit and the towel on the floor. The two of you hid behind the bushes that were lined up in your back garden.

“Shit! My pants are in the pool,” Jungkook muttered.

You groaned as you jogged over to the pool, covering yourself with the towel and bent down to grab Jungkook’s shorts that were floating around.

“Y/N?”

You looked up at the voice. But the next question she asked had you frozen midway, your hand almost touching the white short, trying to come up with a believable lie,

“Whose shorts are those?”

•••

A/N: they’re probably going to get their butts whooped for being naughty. lol. hope you enjoyed this ff. summer’s making me go crazy these days~

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escapewithbts · 1 year

Text

‘the reunion’ (chapter one) jeon jungkook x reader

hello, I’m back! I randomly had this idea and wanted to act on it before I forgot about it!

- summary: it’s ten years after you graduated high school and your best friend convinces you to go to the reunion. you’re hesitant because you wonder if someone you never really stopped thinking about will be there... - jeon jungkook x reader - (past high school peers) au - word count: 2.5k - in this story there will be parts from the reader’s POV which is normal font like this, and jungkook’s third person POV in italics like this

A/N: in this first chapter there is a bit of explaining of the past but it’s relevant to the story so please bear through it! I still think it turned out pretty well! Feedback is always appreciated :)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“I still can’t believe you convinced me to go to this thing.”

That comment made your best friend laugh in response from the bathroom that was adjoined to her bedroom where she was applying the last bit of her make-up.

“Come on, I really think we will have a great time! We’ve done really well for ourselves the past 10 years!”

You sighed as she stepped out.

“Plus,” she continued, “you look smokin’ hot.”

You rolled your eyes but smiled and took a look at yourself in the full length mirror.

You had to admit, you did feel pretty confident. After all, it wasn’t often that you dolled yourself up as much as this.

She grabbed a pair of diamond earrings off her dresser and stood next to you at the mirror to put them on.

“And I really want to see how much the people from our high school graduating class have changed, you know?”

You scoffed and made eye contact with her reflection.

“Mina, please. By ‘people’ you mean ‘guys’, and by ‘changed’ you mean ‘have gotten hotter’.”

She winked at you playfully and gave you a mischievous smile.

“Ah y/n, you know me too well.”

You chuckled and rolled your eyes again.

“Now come on,” she turned and grabbed her bag that was laying on the bed, “we have to go or we’re going to be late.”

Your ten year high school reunion was located at a rooftop bar in downtown Seoul, overlooking the Han River, the Namsan Tower not too far in the distance. It was an absolutely beautiful evening just before the start of sunset. The air pollution was at a minimum and there wasn’t a rain cloud in the sky.

As you and Mina stepped out of the elevator and onto the rooftop terrace you were immediately offered a glass of champagne. You took it without hesitation; knowing you were going to need it in order to face some of these people that you hadn’t seen in almost 10 years.

Back in high school, you weren’t hated by any means, you just weren’t very popular. You hung around with pretty much the same group of friends, with Mina being the only one you really kept in touch with these days.

You and Mina were assigned lab partners freshman year and the two of you instantly clicked which took you by surprise since Mina was quite different from you. She was confident, loud, and unapologetically herself. She had helped you get out of your shell more, be less shy… and was the only reason you entered that friend group in the first place. But alas, you still were who you were, with Mina’s help or not, so while she was definitely memorable, you couldn’t help but think that you on the other hand, were definitely forgettable. Would anyone here even remember your name?

“Oh my god, Mina!”

A girl from aforementioned friend group approached the two of you. Her arms were stretched out as she wrapped Mina in a small hug.

You remembered her name was Jenny, though the two of you were never close.

Jenny turned toward you, her smile fading a bit.

“And, um… Mina’s friend!”

Point proven.

Instantly you felt small and regretful for agreeing to come here. Was this how it was going to go the whole evening?

She gave you a fake smile and hug (if you could even call it that), too.

“Come on, Jen, this is (y/n),” Mina spoke up, “My best friend. She’s the only one I decided to keep in touch with all these years!”

You smiled to yourself.

This is why you loved Mina. She was always there to stick up for you… and throw subtle shade.

“Ah, (y/n), of course I remember! Don’t be silly, Mina, I was just making a joke! What, did you lose your sense of humor after all these years?”

She waved her hand like it wasn’t a big deal and let out a fake laugh.

There was an awkward pause.

“Right, well, it was good to see you, Jenny, but right now I desperately need another drink,” Mina held up her already empty champagne glass, “we’ll see you around, okay?”

Before Jenny could respond Mina started pushing you away and towards the bar.

“God, what a bitch,” she whispered in your ear, “Why did we come here again?”

You chuckled.

“Min, this was your idea!”

Mina rolled her eyes.

“Damnit, you’re right.”

And the two of you laughed together.

But then, almost instantaneously, you stopped.

Because there he was. The one person you were most anxious to see.

Standing right at the bar.

Everything around you seemed to disappear.

Your heart sped up.

He looked so good. And so different. But so. Damn. Good.

“Whoa. Are you seeing what I’m seeing?”

Mina’s sudden voice from next to you snapped you out of your thoughts.

You glanced back at her and followed her gaze to exactly where you had just been staring.

Wait, had she been looking at him, too?

She grasped your arm tightly.

“Isn’t that Kim Taehyung? Oh my god. Who knew he would become so handsome? He looks like a freaking Greek GOD.”

You chuckled slightly.

So, she wasn’t looking at the same person as you were. You felt relieved.

But then she asked,

“And who is that next to him?”

Your face instantly got warm. You didn’t have to look again to know exactly who she was referring to.

She continued her speculation,

“Oh wait… is that-“

“Jeon Jungkook.”

You answered quickly… maybe suspiciously quickly.

Immediately you covered your tracks, “Uh, I think that’s him anyway”.

Mina cocked her head.

“Ah that’s right! Jungkook! Wow… he got handsome, too.”

She wasn’t wrong.

You remembered high school Jungkook perfectly. Back then, he had a nice helmet of dark brown hair, with bangs that fell over his forehead and swept to the side. He was taller than you, but small and kind of awkward; like his body hadn’t gone through puberty yet. He had a sweet smile that resembled a bunny because of two slightly larger front teeth. He was good at everything and anything he tried, talent seemed to run through his veins like blood.

But most of all, he was just generally such a nice guy. He was always helping people when they needed it, like carrying heavy books for girls (and not just the pretty ones), inviting unpopular guys to his friends’ parties (despite his friends’ protests), and staying incredibly modest despite his endless and obvious talents. He was a really good person, and because of that he was very popular with both the boys and girls.

It was also because of all these very reasons that you had fallen for him.

Yes, like many people at your school, you had fallen for Jeon Jungkook.

But, unlike those other people, you and Jungkook actually had a relationship… well, if you could even call it that. It wasn’t a “relationship” relationship, not even close. In fact, could you really have even called it a friendship?

You had two classes together senior year, neither of which either of you had any friends in (more surprising for him since he had way more friends than you), and it just so happened that you were assigned to sit next to each other in both classes. One day, while in Korean class, he leaned over to your desk and asked you about a question on the assignment (why he was asking you, the non-Korean, a question about Korean you had no idea) but ever since then the two of you would work together in both classes, and always partner up when it was required. Because of this, a couple times you even went to his house to work on projects, and vice versa. He would also say “hi” to you in the halls and smile that bunny smile, which he continued to do until the end of the year. You even remembered that at one point you thought he was going to ask you to hang out, not sure as friends or as more, but then in the moment he suddenly changed the subject, never brought it up again, and you were too shy to ask about it. So finally, when graduation came, the two of you went your separate ways, and you never saw him again.

Well, until now.

Tonight he wore a black suit jacket with a silky black shirt underneath, the top couple of buttons undone which subtly revealed an obviously toned chest. The suit jacket, you noticed, barely fit around his muscular upper arms. Clearly lifting weights was something he had been working on these past 10 years. His waist was still small though, the shirt was tucked in around it into the matching black suit pants. When he briefly raised his arm to swipe a piece of his semi-shaggy jet black bangs out of his face you noticed rings adorning his long fingers. And wait… were those tattoos on his hand, too? And a lip and eyebrow piercing? You were shocked; definitely didn’t expect the shy and innocent Jungkook from high school to end up with finger tattoos and facial piercings.

He was leaning against the bar with the same group of friends he had always hung out with in high school and based on their Facebook posts everyone knew they all still hung out to this day. There were seven of them, and they were the popular group back then; every guy wanted to be their friend, every girl wanted to date one of them.

In fact, Mina had dated one of them. His name was Jimin. He was sweet, and handsome in the pretty, more feminine type of way. Despite the fact that their relationship didn’t work out, they had still stayed friends for the remainder of their time in school together.

So sure enough, once Mina laid eyes on him she wasted no time in loudly yelling his name to get his attention.

“Park Jimin!”

At the sound of their friend being called, all seven of them turned to look at the two of you.

That’s when you and Jungkook made eye contact for the first time in 10 years.

Your heart felt like it leapt into your throat and immediately you looked away. He probably didn’t remember who you were anyway, so you wanted to hold on to the good memories you had of your time together back then rather than replace them with disappointing memories of tonight.

Jimin’s smile instantly got wider when he saw who had called his name, and he said something to the other guys before practically bounding his way over to where you were standing.

“Ohwaaa, Lee Mina! Is that really you??”

Jimin wrapped his arms around her in a huge hug and swayed her back and forth. He had always been extremely physically affectionate so that obviously hadn’t changed.

“It’s me, Jiminie, right here in the flesh!” Mina replied, returning his big hug.

Jimin stepped back and took a look at her.

“Wow, Mina, you look even prettier now than back then…”

From any other guy that may have been a creepy thing to say, but from Jimin it was always just complete sincerity. There wasn’t a creepy bone in his body, never had been.

Mina giggled and rolled her eyes.

“Oh, stop it… and you’re one to talk! I see the eye liner and extra-macho clothes are gone. You look great, Jimin.”

At this he smiled so widely that his eyes almost disappeared, just looking like crescent shapes on his cherubic face.

Then he turned to you and wrapped you in an equally large hug, bumping your champagne glass and causing the remainder of it to spill out onto the floor.

“And (y/f/n) (y/l/n), it’s so good to see you, too. You’re so beautiful as well, wow.”

You blushed at this and quietly thanked him.

Then he said,

“So how have you two been? Are you still living in Seoul?”

The three of you continued engaging in friendly conversation as the night carried on.

Jungkook swirled around the small amount of brown liquid that remained in his glass, attempting not to stare over to where Jimin had just left the group to go. He wanted to look, though… he really wanted to look.

For he couldn’t believe his eyes when he saw you here. You had always been rather shy, he remembered, so he was surprised you had come. Maybe you were convinced by the friend who stood next to you, a girl Jimin had dated he remembered, but he couldn’t quite recall her name. That’s what he would guess anyway, that she had wanted you to tag along. Though he supposed you could have changed… it had been almost 10 years after all.

“God damn,” Jungkook looked up at his best friend, Taehyung, who had interrupted his thoughts, “who is Jimin-ssi talking to?”

Jungkook used this as an excuse to look over at you. You were laughing at something your friend was saying.

“Hmm… I think he used to date her. I don’t remember her name.”

Taehyung shook his head.

“No no, I’m not talking about Mina, I meant the other girl, the girl next to her.”

Jungkook swallowed the rest of his drink. The liquid burned as it went down his throat.

“Oh, uh… that’s, uh, (y/n).”

Jungkook’s cheeks suddenly felt flushed at the sound of your name coming from his mouth. It was probably just the alcohol, he figured.

“Hmmm, (y/n)…” Taehyung repeated, “I don’t remember her. Did you know her?”

Jungkook shrugged, pretending to be uninterested.

“Uh, yeah, I think we had a couple classes together.”

Taehyung replied after taking a sip from his glass, “Wow… she is really attractive. I would have thought I would have remembered someone that pretty…”

Taehyung’s comment instantly made Jungkook perk his head up. He followed Taehyung’s gaze, using it as another excuse to glance at you. And this time, he let his eyes linger on you for just a little while longer.

Taehyung was wrong; for you weren’t just pretty… you were absolutely beautiful.

The way your black satin, spaghetti strap dress flowed over your body, but still managed to hug your obvious curves. It stopped mid-calf, with a slit down the side of the leg that went up almost dangerously high. Your hair was in waves as it cascaded down your shoulders and onto your bare back.

But what caught Jungkook’s attention the most was the smile that accompanied your laugh. It brightened up your face and made you seem confident and carefree. A feeling of warmth and familiarity suddenly overtook Jungkook, catching him by surprise, and in an instant all the memories of the two of you back then came flooding into his mind.

Yes, he remembered now.

He had been absolutely smitten with you.

And seeing you here again reminded him of just why.

masterlist

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seokjinsonlyone · 2 years

Text

most to least likely to introduce you to the members first

mini: he introduces you before y’all even start dating before you even know that he likes you the tannies know of course bc he told them and he wanted to get their read on you before he made any official moves bc one thing bout jimin is his members are his home nd he gotta make sure whoever comes into his life is straight with them first

tae: he has a sixth sense about people so when he meets you he Knows that there’s something there and so they know bc he can’t possibly keep that to himself; he tells them all about you and the more he learns about you the more time he spends with you the more they hear about you he can’t help it he’s soooo excited about you; still he’s the type that like to keep em waiting likes to have people on the edge of they seat so it’s not like IMMEDIATELY immediately but still pretty early on that he takes you to meet them; it just makes him so happy to see you with them getting along with them to know that he has yet another person there for him

namu: doesn’t really see the point in waiting for a specific time for y’all to meet; just does it whenever it feels right like once he’s sure about you and he knows that you’re sure about him he’s all in; still truly a leader through and through; is always thinking about the people around him and how he can make their life easier; he staggers the meetings so that you won’t feel overwhelmed by them and they won’t feel awkward at your sudden presence; tailors each meeting to a middle ground between you and the member bc while he doesn’t need their approval he would like for y’all to get along

hobi: a very diligent man; probably has some sort of checklist of like personal and relationship milestones that need to be met before he moves on to the next step; introduces you at just the right time; not too early that he seems eager nd not too late so that it seems like he’s trying to hide you; although he definitely wants to spend a decent amount of time trapped in that little bubble that forms whenever a new relationship starts and bask in the feeling of being special to someone of having someone special to him i think he would really like you to be friends with his brothers

jk: it’s not that he doesn’t want you to meet them or that he doesn’t want them to meet you it’s just that he’s selfish with you like he’s not good at sharing never has been he wants all of your time and all of your attention always and the thought of having to share you with his brothers….. 😬 he needs some time to become at least 1% less obsessed with you so he doesn’t piss everyone off and everyone doesn’t piss him off; it happens eventually of course he can only stand to be cornered by tae and jimin for so long; he hovers around you the entire time and drags you away early anyway; ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ he likes his alone time with you

jin: he’s shy 🥺 like yeah he can be loud and obnoxious but when it comes down to it he’s shy 🥺; they pick up on the fact that something is going on with him when he always on that phone; during every little break he get he tapping away on that phone cheesing and grinning and when they ask him who he talking to and his face neck and ears get all red they know it’s something real; they don’t hound him too much tho they know that as much as he is shy he is also indecisive he has to make sure he’s 100% sure about you before he starts flaunting you around like his latest party trick which does happen eventually but only after he knows he won’t be humiliated by your relationship ending soon after he’s introduced you to some of the most important people in his life

suga: it’s months before they even know that he’s seeing someone in general; only reason they found out is bc hobi wanted to get drinks and he turned him down bc he had other plans and they’re like 🥴🥴🥴 since when do you hang out with other people nd that’s when he lets it slip that he’s been seeing you and they’re all 😨😡🤬 bc why he ain’t tell them smh; takes another couple months after y’all are official for him to schedule a proper meet and greet for no real rhyme or reason other than the fact that’s he’s very nonchalant about the situation; “people fall in love everyday it’s no big deal” even tho he knows that what he feels for you is much more than an everyday affair

#bts #bts fanfic #bts fanfiction #bts x reader #bts mtl #kim seokjin fanfic #kim seokjin x reader #kim namjoon fanfic #kim namjoon x reader #taehyung x reader #jimin x reader #jeon jungkook x you #jeon jungkook fanfiction #jimin fanfiction #yoongi x reader #hobi fic #j hope x reader #taehyung fic

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manawrites · 1 year

Text

two is better; ch 1

pairing: f!reader x jungkook, f!reader x taehyung

rating: explicit

genre: arranged marriage au, drama, angst, smut, romance, jungkook is bad at feelings (yes, that’s a genre)

summary: neither of you really wanted to be married to one another, but one maybe wanted it just a smidge more than the other. unable to know where you stand since you don’t actually know one another, jungkook takes it upon himself to at least try to make your marriage a bit more…enjoyable for you.

ch word count: 1.4K

ch warning: jungkook does not start on a good foot here. he touches without consent…he might redeem himself later but 😬

author’s note: I wrote this story years ago on another platform. It started as an original fiction story, but I’m converting it to a bts fic. hopefully it converts well 🥴 lemme know what you think! 😊

~*~*~

You stare at the man sitting across the table from you, observing his strong jawline and the smooth planes of his skin, his short brown hair.

His brown eyes are glued to you, observing you in a similar fashion, gaze dipping low across your skin in a way that makes you shiver. His broad shoulders are stiff beneath his gray suit, his clean-shaven jawline tense.

You shift your gaze to the head of the table, where your father sits with his back straight and his gaze forward, toward the older gentleman across from him. You glance his way, admiring the same smooth, albeit slightly more wrinkled skin, of the man across from you, the same brown eyes, the hair that was once black but has since gone silver.

He’s a fox, but the coldness of his eyes is clear as he eats his dinner with controlled, practiced movements.

“I simply don’t see a reason to delay any longer,” the older man states blandly, gaze not wavering from your father’s. “The children are old enough now, wouldn’t you say?”

Your father’s eyes move to you in a moment of contemplation, the sadness evident to only you when your eyes meet. He nods once and focuses on cutting the steak on his plate. “They are.”

“I mean, there’s no reason to prolong the inevitable, is there?” the man continues, chewing softly. His eyes drift over you, pausing at your chest. He takes a considering sip of his wine. “Unless, of course, you want to go back on our deal.”

Your father looks up with a thunderous expression, fork stabbing his steak. “You’d like that, wouldn’t you?”

The old man smirks, finally tearing his gaze from your breasts long enough to give your father an innocent shrug. “I’m not sure what you mean, Henry. You’ve always been a man of your word.” He shrugs again, sitting up a little straighter and slicing into his own steak. “You should know that I am as well.”

You hear her father growl, but it’s quiet, and you look up at the man across from you as his foot catches yours under the table. He smirks, the toe of his Italian shoes drifting up your ankle.

“If I’d known there was a time limit on our little business endeavor—“

“You’d what?” the old man laughs humorlessly, setting his fork and knife down with a clatter. “Let your company fall through the cracks and go bankrupt? Lose your entire life’s work, your home?” He shakes his head when your father winces. “You’re a smart man, Henry. You should know that every business agreement has an expiration date. You either pay back every cent of the money you owe — with interest — or stick to our original deal.”

You tear your eyes away from the man still toeing your calf under the table to look at your father, his sad expression nearly breaking your heart.

Your father had put everything into his business, had tried everything he could imagine to make enough money to pay back the money he’d borrowed in full, but as the years went on, the debt continued to grow. He’d tried to wager with them, to work out a payment plan, but the Jeons wanted all or nothing.

Your father had been foolish to think his old colleague would accept anything less.

“Dad...”

Henry shoots you a look and Mr. Jeon scoffs.

“You allow her to speak at the table during business?”

“Please forgive her,” your father sighs, apology clear in his eyes before he tears his gaze from you. “She’s not usually present for such things.”

Mr. Jeon taps his fingernail against his wine glass, lips pursed as he continues to observe you. “She will need lessons on proper conduct.” He pauses, gaze shifting to the way his son is devouring you with his eyes. For the first time all night, Mr. Jeon looks pleased. “But she will make my son a fine wife.”

Your father stares at his food, pushing it around his plate in a way that displays his guilt. “I have no doubt she will.”

“Oh, don’t look so glum, Henry,” Mr. Jeon admonishes. “She’s getting married, not being stolen away for slave work. She will be taken care of.”

The man across from you smirks into his wine glass, foot hooking behind your knee and jerking you and your chair forward, chair legs screeching across the wooden floor.

Heat settles across your cheeks when you notice you’ve drawn all of the men’s attention and you clear your throat, tucking your hair behind your ear and staring down at your food. Your stomach is pressed firmly to the side of the table, chest heaving as you try to catch your breath. You feel the man’s foot drift higher, the cold leather of his shoe pressing into the warm skin of the inside of your knee.

“The wedding will be in two weeks,” Mr. Jeon announces suddenly, drawing your attention.

“Two we—“ your father balks. “Isn’t that a little soon? The planning alone—“

“The plans have been set in stone for years, Henry,” the man states firmly. “I’ve given you plenty of time to pay your debt, but I always have a backup plan. Something a successful business man would understand.”

“I—“

“Now, now, Henry, please relax. As I said, your daughter will be taken care of.”

You let out a quiet yelp and jolt in surprise when the toe of the man’s shoe presses between your legs. You meet his teasing gaze and part your legs, grasping your hands around his pant leg and trying to push him off you. The pressure on your core tightens, his eyes turning cold and commanding, and something twists in your stomach.

Your fathers’ conversation continues as if nothing is happening. You’re not so sure they even notice.

“She will be sized for a dress and whatever else she needs this week,” Mr. Jeon comments. “She will also need to quit that grueling job of hers. There won’t be a need for it once the marriage is final.”

“What?” you yelp again, this time jolting backwards, nearly pushing your chair over. The man across from you catches the chair with his foot and quickly rights it, finally pulling his foot back to his side of the table. He observes you with a frown.

Your father looks horrified at your outburst and Mr. Jeon looks a cross between furious and amused.

“You couldn’t possibly think we’d let you keep a waitressing job,” Mr. Jeon spits, nose wrinkled in disgust. “Our family has a reputation. You are to stand at my son’s side and lead this business when the time comes. Until then, you will learn.”

Your eyebrows furrow. “I’m sorry, learn?”

Mr. Jeon’s expression teeters on cruel as he wipes his mouth with a cloth and stands. “You will learn about the business, how to run it, how to support my son.” He pauses, eyes drilling holes into yours. “And you will learn your place in this family.”

You feel angry tears well up in your eyes and turn away from him, ducking your head to stare at your hands in your lap. Your hair falls on either side of your face and you allow it to hide you from them. You don’t want to show just how terrified, just how upset, this all makes you.

You’d reassured your father that it was okay, that you would somehow be okay, but would you? Your waitress job isn’t much, doesn’t even pay much, but it’s the one thing in your life that’s yours. Your father has his business, you have your job and that grants you a modicum of independence. Without it, you would just be a wife. A Jeon. Whatever they want you to be.

You feel your chest ache at the thought.

“We will speak more of this at a later date,” Mr. Jeon dismisses, motioning for his son to stand. “Come, Jungkook, we have business to attend to.”

Jungkook takes one more look at you and follows his father, the sound of their retreating steps loud in the otherwise silent home.

When they’re gone, you quickly rise to your feet and begin to clear the plates in silence. It isn’t until your father puts a hand on your shoulder that the tears start to fall. You turn into his chest. He takes the plates from you, setting them back on the table, and puts his arms around you. You hug one another tightly, with him whispering apologies into your hair and your tears spilling onto his cotton shirt.

No matter how many times he says it, you both know a sorry could never salvage the situation.

There’s nothing more to be done.

In two weeks, you will no longer be a Shin.

You will be a Jeon, wife to Jeon Jungkook and daughter-in-law to one of the slimiest businessmen you’ve ever met.

There’s nothing an apology can do to fix this.

~*~*~

ch. 2

#jeon jungkook fanfic #Kim Taehyung fanfic #bts fanfic #bts fanfiction #bts arranged marriage au #jungkook fanfic #taehyung fanfic #jeon jungkook fanfiction #Kim Taehyung fanfiction

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oftenderweapons · 2 years

Text

Swing It! | Handle With Care

Pairing: Jungkook x reader (nicknamed Candy)

Wordcount: 8.5k

Genre: smut, fluff, pwp

Rating: 18+

Synopsis: Candy is back from Australiaafter being gone for two months for work. She's back and well... She has a surprise. But Jeongguk also has a surprise for her.

Warnings: swearing, nipple piercings, sex swing. Lots of spontaneous steamy making out, two whipped suckers. Now the serious ones: nipple sucking, breast worship, masturbation, oral sex (male and female receiving), soft degradation (female receiving), body worship (male and female receiving), very emotional unprotected sex (kids, be smart about this one). Multiple orgasms. They're whipped for each other an I'm whipped for them. Switch!jk, switch!reader.

A/N: let's see if can still work this magic. Thanking @nervous-moon and @joheunsaram for betaing and checking the overall magic levels. I love you so much babes, I owe you two the most

Masterlist | send ask

Jungkook felt a bit too excited as he watched you drag your suitcase to his car. He was sure that was you. That was your frame, your walk, and those were your shoes and that was your suitcase, the one he had seen by the door the night before you left, before you woke him up at four am for a quick goodbye kiss, forcing him to stay in bed while you got a taxi to the airport. He had wanted to drive you there himself, but you strictly refused.

But now he was here, at the airport, waiting for you, to kiss you and take you home and make love to you because he couldn't stop thinking about feeling your skin sweaty and hot and smelling like him again. He had missed you. And although your communication had improved a lot while you were away, and that it had been nothing — absolutely nothing — compared to how it felt while he was touring, he needed your skin.

He needed to feel you again.

“Candy?” he almost whimpered, tears coming to his eyes as he watched you starting to walk faster until you were jogging, leaving your carry-on only a couple steps away, opening your arms right as he opened his and wrapped them tight around you, going for a little swirl, his face in your neck as he sniffed you up.

“Hello there, bunny.” When he put you down, you lowered his mask just a little, just in time to catch his lip wobble. “Oh, love.”

“I missed you. I love you,” he murmured, voice trembling.

“I love you too, Kookie.” You dried his eyes, standing on your tiptoes and pressing a kiss to his nose. “Let’s go home, yeah?”

He nodded, his smile so big your eyes watered a little.

Once home, you forgot everything about your suitcase and just kissed him like he deserves. In that moment you were sure you could give him the world. Both your masks and his hat were discarded, your need to touch his face just a bit too intense.

“I’m so happy to have you back,” he whispered, his hands in your hair, stroking it, his eyes glittering with mirth. “Are you tired?”

“Fell asleep on the plane.” You bit your lip before arching an eyebrow. “Are you thinking what I’m thinking?”

He cackled at your clumsy, flirty expression as you bit your lip and arched an eyebrow cockily. He loved when you turned into an in-real-life meme. “I might have done something questionable.”

“Did you pierce your nipples too? Oh my god, fucking finally!”

He started laughing uncontrollably. “Nope.” And then he got serious. Ominously so. “Not yet.”

You rolled your eyes, sucking your lips. “Did your plans involve me shirtless?”

His hands wrapped around your waist, rubbing up and down your sides. “Hopefully, you naked,” he teased, his cheeks blushing.

“Mh… I'm sort of worried about that questionable thing you did. But I also kind of want to jump your bones.” You wrapped your arms behind his neck, his hands growing brave enough to land on your ass and squeeze it, his smile sheepish as he stared at you.

“I can show you the potentially questionable thing and then you can choose if you still want to jump my bones,” he argued, rather reasonably. “It’s just a little… improvement, so to say. For our bedroom.”

You turned your head to the side a little, giving him a curious but also intrigued look. “Surprise me.”

He cackled in that cute, precious way of his and reached for your hand, blushing adorably as he led the way.

You followed him with quick steps, trying to make him go faster, but he kept his own pace. You hadn’t been so excited to make love to him in so long — and although it felt amazing, the anticipation and the pining and the longing and the innocent playfulness of it all, you were starting to grow impatient for the actual act: watching it unfold, see his naked skin and touch it, kiss it, feel his taste in your mouth, the girth of his sex in your hand, your laboured breaths syncing up, his moans echoed by your own, your hips and his pushing and pulling in a tide, the same way the sea plays with the shore in an endless chase of emptying and filling; fighting for air, for space, for— for him. To get more of him, slip underneath his skin, make him yours, wear his body like the best dress for your soul.

You stopped him in front of the door, pushed his back to the wall and rose to your tiptoes to kiss him.

You closed your eyes and opened your mouth and prayed for his tongue to slide across your lips to meet your own. You wanted to be tangled in him.

You wanted to knot yourself with him in a way that would hold the two of you together forever. You had never imagined you would come to crave him in such an all-or-nothing kind of way. It was everything and still nothing could satisfy you.

“I need you to own me,” you whispered as he still recovered from your hungry kiss.

Fervour. Jeongguk had never known such a thing in his life until that kiss. “Tell me how,” he licked your neck before giving the gentlest of nibbles. “You know I won’t disappoint.” Fuck his bedroom improvements — you wanted to be owned, you needed it. He would deliver because no fantasy could ever overpower the actual feeling of being united with you.

“I want to feel you naked. Bare. Inside me, around me, on top of me. I want to be wrapped in you.” As he started to suck at your neck and chest, you combed his hair — a gesture that was led by affection, sure, but also your need to hold on to something as your world started spinning faster, and your need to control him, direct him in his expert unraveling of you. “I want you to be everything around me. I want you to be my whole world.”

Jeongguk offered you his leg to rub against as he moved his arms around you, tightening his hold on your waist.

“I want you to be everything I can feel, hear, touch, taste, smell… Everything I can think of.”

Jeongguk felt insane at the thought. You wanted him to become your everything. And he would do just that.

He started with your sweater, pulling it over your head. Next your tank top — so soft, and slightly loose. Your naked torso was just underneath that.

Although he had grown acquainted with the latest additions to your breasts through the screen, it was nothing compared to the actual sight of them. “They look even hotter now that I can touch them and suck them. Fuck…” His eyes stayed glued there for a couple seconds before he turned the tables and pushed you with your back to the wall. “Do they hurt if I touch them?”

You shook your head. “They’re all healed up.” You placed your hands on his. “Do you need me to help?”

He nodded. He wasn’t shy about accepting help anymore. He had learnt it was a double win: he got to pleasure you and you would reach your high. He would feel an accomplished lover, and you would feel thankful, which would usually translate into you returning the favour in an endless give and take that usually took a couple hours for both of you to get too tired to continue.

He let you lead him, place his hands where you wanted them — specifically, cupping your breasts while his thumbs remained free.

“Touch them,” you whispered, your breathing laboured.

He looked you in the eyes as he laid his thumbs on your pierced nipples, twisting the silver barbells back and forth.

You bumped your head into the wall behind you as pleasure rushed through you, zip lining from your breasts to your core, arousal gushing out, making you feel uncomfortable between your legs.

He smiled worriedly at your reaction. “Did you hurt your head, baby?”

You shook your head. “I’m in heaven, love.”

He grinned at the nickname. “Great. Do you know what would be heaven to me, right now?”

“Sucking my tits?” You teased knowingly.

He nodded with a similarly knowing smile. “Exactly. You’re damn perfect.” He lowered himself just a little, just enough for his mouth to be at level with your chest.

And then you felt it — the scorching hotness of his mouth around your tender skin, blood coursing through it as your nipples hardened. Your breasts felt heavy, just for a second before he pushed them up higher and squeezed.

You felt a shiver, a cascade of fluttery contractions animate the walls of your sex. It made your whole body shiver in return.

“Guk, this… Oh my god, I don’t care if this turns into sex, this is the best you’ve ever made me feel.” You tried to give him something to thank him, your hand reaching between his legs, resting over the waistband of his sweats. “Can I?” You asked, lingering there, waiting for consent.

“Hold on,” he panted. “If you touch me there I’m gonna cum. Just grab my ass. I want my ass grabbed,” he explained before focusing on your other nipple.

As an involuntary reaction, you scratched his abdomen with your nails, your fingers clawing in before you could control yourself. You moved your hand to his butt as soon as you remembered his direction, and then you placed your other hand to the crown of his head, grabbing his hair.

He moaned, and you moaned because his sounds felt good against your sodden breast, your back arched, and he slipped a hand behind you, between your shoulder blades, so he could push you into his mouth.

He sucked harder, the suction turning mind-blowing as he started pulling, the pressure growing as he moved further away, right before your flesh popped out of his mouth.

You gasped at that.

And then you whimpered when his tongue lashed out for your hardened, reddened bud.

“Jeon— Guk,” you managed to breathe out, your brain trying to deal with too many emotions and sensations.

“Touch yourself,” he whispered, almost begging. “Wanna hear you cum. I wanna make you feel good.”

“Enough of making myself cum, please— I want you,” you begged.

He felt it. The need, right there, to feel one with you.

“Ride my face—” he said, just as you spoke, “Fuck me”.

He closed his eyes and laughed, throwing his head back before looking at you pressing his forehead to yours. “I want to fuck you, really, but I wanna save it for last.”

“Who cares first or last, you've got stamina! We can take rounds, doesn't matter,” you whined, complaining so irresistibly that he picked you up and brought you to your room, dumping you on the bed and smirking, pushing your breasts together and diving for the crevasse between them.

“Remove your sweats, mister. I'd like to have a conversation with your dick,” you ordered.

Jeongguk stopped before cackling.

“I'm not joking. Do you know how hard it was to watch you masturbate on a damn screen? Do you know how mind consuming it was not to suck you? Sometimes I zoned out while sketching because I was too busy thinking about your cock in my mouth.” You weren't even exaggerating it. It was all true.

“Were you that needy? I knew it… I should have visited.” He stood up, took off his sweats and— “Oh, what do you think?” He turned around and you didn't really understand what he meant — it's not like you were too busy studying his ass and thighs and thinking just how much you wanted to bite all those muscles.

Then you noticed it. “Is it…? Is it what I think it is?”

He turned to you and nodded.

“Fuuuck.” You stood up and moved towards it. From up close, it looked more complicated than what it had seemed.

Jeongguk got rid of his t-shirt too, wearing only his boxers when he moved behind you, back hugging you, his hands laying on the button of your jeans. “Wanna try?”

“Undress me first,” you told him.

His hands undid the button. Tugged at the zipper. Pushed the waistband down.

Meanwhile, his teeth grazed the curve of your shoulder. “I’ve spent nights wondering what we could with it.” As he lowered your jeans, he bent down, pressing kisses down your spine. “My only worry is that I’m not sure I’ll deliver on it. I’m a novice.” He sunk his front teeth into your glute, taking a large bite of it and making you squeal in delight. “But we have time. To try. To learn.”

He stood up and spun you around, kissing you shallowly but intensely. It was just his lips pressed to yours, his hands pressed to your cheeks, his eyes shut tight as he put all the power of his adoration in that simple, tiny gesture.

“We're going to learn everything, together,” you reassured him, tipping his head down so you could press your forehead to his. “I want to learn everything with you.” You kissed his jaw, down the column of his neck as you continued, “I want to learn how you feel inside my mouth. Inside my body. Between my breasts.” You kissed his chest “I want to learn how my heart plummets when I hear your voice. When I can smell the scent of you near.”

Jeongguk wrapped his arms around you. “I like when you talk about how I make you feel.” He had spent weeks expressing his emotions, talking, analysing, deconstructing his feelings brick by brick. And now that he knew the words, that he knew what it means when his heart does an excited tippity-tap when you smile. Or what it means when his palms get sweaty and his chest feels like a set of drums when your hands wrap around his waist. Or when his mind feels like it's drifting on a canoe on a pacific lake in a sunny autumn day, usually when your hand is combing through his hair.

You had helped him give a name to all the emotions and sensations rushing or lulling through him whenever you were involved.

Right now he felt like he was bouncing on a trampoline.

“Come on, get comfy. You go first,” he said, ever the pleaser. He was dying to feel your scorching, liquid need on his tongue.

You looked at him for half a second, only vaguely distracted, trying to understand what you were going to do. “How should I…?”

Jeongguk stared at the several straps. “Well, first, you sit on the middle one, I guess.”

You approached the swing, grabbing the straps in the middle and stabilising the seat before you squatted and managed to safely sit on the soft padding covering the strap.

Jeongguk nodded. “I guess you put your feet in the stirrups, if you like. And fix the other strap behind your shoulders.”

You did so tentatively, gingerly leaning back and reaching a bizarre position that reminded you of your yearly ob-gyn checkup. Your legs were spread, knees bent, your back laid relatively unstrained against the two straps.

“Interesting.” He shortened the feet straps so that your legs were slightly higher. “Now I guess you're too sprawled out for me not to eat you alive, correct?”

You purred, the fresh air of the room reminding you just how needy and wet you were between your legs.

“I see.”

“Do you think we can sixty-nine on this thing?” you asked, batting your lashes at him while he licked his palm, a string of saliva connecting his tongue to his fingers.

He stopped mid-motion, a deer caught in the headlights.

“You want that?”

“I want your dick in my mouth, then your tongue between my legs, possibly together with your naughty fingers, and then when you get hard again because I taste so, so sweet, I want you to fuck me on this…” you tried to find a way to describe the thing you were on, “On this confusing contraption.”

Jeongguk stared at you some more. “In that precise order, I assume.”

“It's the perfect order. I've been thinking about it all the flight.”

He nodded, humming. “It was a very long flight.”

“Indeed.”

“We could have joined the Mile high club…” Jeongguk made a pensive pout, one completely dissonant with the raging erection leaking against his lower abdomen.

You stared at it, tilting your head to the side as you followed its curve with the touchless brush of your glance. He had apparently zoned out.

“Baby… What are you thinking about?” you found his eyes again.

“You and I fucking in the cramped space of an airplane restroom.”

“Amusing. Would you now stop thinking about fucking me and actually perform your task?” You smirked, a blunt and desperate look on your face.

Jeongguk grinned and grabbed your hips, spreading you before him, grinding against your core.

“I said, your dick in my mouth first,” you corrected him pettily.

“I don’t remember you being so choosy.” He brought his thumb to your clit, trying to distract you for long enough to slip in.

He wanted in. He craved it so badly that he could swear his knees buckled at the faint suggestion of your heat against his shaft.

“Please, Guk,” you moaned, gripping his slim waist with your hands.

“Please what, Candy?” He growled in return, gripping his erection and pressing the tip to your entrance. He knew that if he slid in, he would cum in a couple thrusts.

“Your dick… my mouth…” you mumbled weakly, feeling his free hand venture to your chest, his pointer finger drawing small circles that made your piercing shift deliriously slowly. You felt your nipples harden, even though you would have bet they were fully erect already.

You could feel blood rush through you, your head growing dizzy as you blinked slowly, the gentle lulling motion of the swing making you even more relaxed.

Jeongguk lowered his head to kiss your chest. “You really want to blow me.”

“I’ve been missing it so much.” You lowered your hand to his crotch, his hiss announcing that your touch was incredibly stimulating, maybe as much as his hand cradling your breast.

“Do you want to… I don’t know, lay there and I’ll stand by your head and…” Jeongguk blushed faintly in the gentle late-afternoon light.

“Really? Blushing at me again?” You smiled at him. “You’re so lovely.” It was impossible in the way only real things were. You never thought you would find yourself in a sex swing, in front of a naked and aroused Jeon Jeongguk, blushing at you over how eager he was to fuck you. And yet…

He bent down to kiss you. “You want me to get rough with you?”

You nodded fervently. Your neck almost snapped and your entire body jiggled at the motion — because of your precarious position.

He smirked in a way that let you know he’d hit a switch. ��Okay, Candy.” He slapped your breast out of the blue, to surprise you.

A grin flashed on your face and you licked your lips, ready to take whatever he wanted to give you.

“You’ve been a bad, bad girl.”

You grinned some more, nodding ecstatically. You’d been dreaming about this for weeks.

“I have. So, so much.”

He shook his head with a disappointed tut. He stood up and stepped back, then he moved around you, till he reached your shoulder. “Lay down some more,” he said, his voice a dark caress.

You shifted your weight tentatively until your head reached more or less his hip.

“Good girl. Now I want you to open your mouth like a greedy, hungry little thing. Will you do that for me, Candy?”

You had already obeyed before he could finish buttering you up, and he was so pleased with it. He enjoyed how you always gave yourself so willingly, how you always made his wishes come true before he could even express them.

He thought you had built a direct link to his brain, materialising his every desire.

He grabbed himself with one hand, the other cupping your cheek, pressing your temple to the sweet spot where his leg joined his torso. He stabilised you and then he slipped his cock in your mouth.

It was soft — rather, smooth. And the head… the head was soft, just as you remembered it, if not softer. It tasted vaguely coppery, salty and… and musky. It was so him, so special to you. You had never enjoyed the taste of it until you had him, and then again, it wasn’t actually enjoying it, it had been more like learning to associate the strange flavour to his pleasured look, his needy gaze, the way his mouth would hang slightly open, his hair growing sweaty as his body got hotter and hotter.

You started sucking him, trying to cover your teeth as best as you could, but the angle was unusual and a bit uncomfortable.

He still stared at you, keeping you as still as he could while his knees buckled. He pressed himself to the soft inside of your cheek, rubbing there, finding relief in a slow, gentle motion. “I’ve been missing this mouth,” he moaned, grabbing the rope above his head for stability. “Holy fuck, Candy…”

You sucked him, rubbing your tongue against his shaft, trying to shift your angle so you could take him deeper, until he positioned himself perfectly behind you, your head tipped back so he could slide in. You closed your eyes — so you could focus, and also because the view wasn’t that worth watching — and you took him. You took him deeper.

Jeongguk shivered and grunted, grabbing both ropes for stability, though only momentarily. He threw his head back, throat exposed majestically.

Your hands found his thighs, so strong, so hard, and you sank your fingers in, using them for leverage as you pushed yourself away, taking a big breath, a couple more, and then sinking back on him, sheathing him in your throat. He growled, speechless before his hands travelled down the ropes, grabbing your shoulders to help you swing back and forth, swallowing him. You tapped him on the leg energetically when you needed air, and he realised he needed to let you go.

“Sorry about that,” he whispered, voice hoarse with how hard he had been panting. “Do you think you can keep going like this?”

You nodded weakly. “Just a little. It’s deep. It burns a little.”

He hummed and stroked your cheek with his thumb. “I feel so dirty for liking this. Dirty in a good way, I mean.”

Your smile was warm and reassuring. The Jeongguk you had first slept with would have been too ashamed to confess this. But now you had him talking, confessing, elaborating his feelings, his sensations. “And I’m very pleased to be pleasing you.”

He smirked. “You’re amazing.”

You winked and lolled your tongue out, trying to reach for him as he pulled you closer to his crotch. You managed to lick the base of his shaft, where the skin became so soft around his testicles.

He exhaled loudly. His hands found your breasts and you whined, tracing the back of his thighs with your nails.

His thumbs drew circles around your nipples, slow, tantalising. Your body felt electrified by his touch, and he giggled hoarsely as you traced the curves of his glutes.

“Wait, Candy,” he breathed out before straightening his back, trying to gain at least a sliver of control over himself. “I can’t… I can’t—”

“I didn’t mean to—”

“No, I mean I have to sit. I swear I’m gonna fall to my knees if you keep doing that,” he chuckled and looked at you, tracing your jaw. “I’m not strong enough to handle you right now. I’m… I’m not in the mindset.”

You caressed your hip and used the ropes to help yourself sit up. The padded ledges and stirrups had kept the rope from sinking in your skin and bruising you, still you were grateful for standing up, your balance readjusting to a world that didn’t swing around you. “All yours,” you told Jeongguk, taking a step back from the swing.

He stared at it for a second, then reached your side and sat on the middle ledge, adjusting the back one behind his shoulders before setting his feet on the stirrups.

His legs automatically spread.

He was there. Offered to you.

You literally gawked at him for a second or ten. He was entirely exposed, nothing to hide. HIs abdomen was flexed to keep his balance, his chest was puffed out, his arms stretched above his head, draped around the ropes. And his thighs, flexed, knees bent, and parted. You knelt between his legs.

It felt right. It felt so damn right, like your body didn’t even need your mind to command it.

Tracing his quadriceps with your nails, you ventured closer to his crotch, to where his skin became paperthin, so pale and sensitive that even your shyest touch caused his erection to stir, quiver, shift. And there, the trace of what your hands did to him, a perlaceous droplet resting where his tip had laid.

Ravenous, your mouth flew to him, no noise except for the heavy sigh he emitted, followed by a grunt as you grew more impatient.

Your forearms wrapped around his legs and you unconsciously started swinging him back and forth, just lightly enough to help him in and out of your mouth.

It was instinct, all of it. Shifting, rising, falling, his gasps, your moans, the way his hand tightened around the rope, the way he lifted his leg, just barely, unintentionally trying to go deeper.

You slipped him out of your mouth just for a second. It pleased you to see him so dishevelled, perspiration causing his bangs to stick to his forehead. “Use your hand, mine are busy.”

He smiled slowly, then he grabbed himself and gave his erection a lazy pump.

You lowered your lips to his balls, simply skimming them softly. “I love your skin here. So smooth.”

He hummed, too pleased with the way you spoke about him, about his body, about how in love you were with every small detail of him. He'd never felt so adored.

It made him feel a kind of holy that brought him above shame.

“Keep talking, please,” he said, his whisper bordering on a slightly hoarse murmur.

“What do you want me to talk about, love?”

He hummed at the pet name. “Every thought I give you.”

You smiled and dragged your face against his inner thigh. “You want to know how you fill my brain?” You chuckled fondly. He knows, he knows, he knows, you told yourself, rejoicing at the fact that he's aware, that he understands and remembers that he's your only thought when you're together.

“All I think about is you. Your strong, beautiful body. You make me want to sculpt the shape of you in clay. You make me want to use my hands. You make me want to carve you into marble.”

You didn't know how you managed to be so eloquent while your hands, your face, your body were being so animalistic. You were grabbing and licking and rubbing and…

“If this is how he felt, I know how Michelangelo made those statues. I can feel it.” You abandoned yourself to Jeongguk's touch, his hand caressing your hair, your fingers, your shoulders, your cheek. “This passion… The lust for you… It's not creativity. It's creation.”

Jeongguk traced the seam of your lips with his thumb, fascinated by your words, the way your mouth formed them. “You're magical,” he whispered in awe.

You smiled, suddenly shy regardless of the debauchery you'd been indulging in moments earlier.

“Let me show you bliss,” he spoke gently. “Please.”

You almost caved before you teased his frenulum with a flick of your tongue, reminding yourself what you wanted most. “You first,” you objected before fixing your stance and taking half of him in the warmth of your mouth.

His head fell back, a long, strained moan leaving his throat, perfectly exposed in his position. You wished you had two mouths so you could taste the round of his Adam's apple too.

You bobbed your head slowly at first, then increased your rhythm. Took a quick break, during which he tried to overrule you, but then went back to work, silencing him — but also making him howl in pleasure — with the finest of your techniques. And when he did reach his peak, he stayed there, long and deep. And hot.

Your eyes were fixed on him, on his head thrown back, on his chest, taut and tense, on his abs, shivering, on his legs, trembling with bliss and effort as he tried to keep himself still. You could bet his toes were curled, but you didn't think about checking those, you simply closed your eyes and slid him out of your throat, as gently as possible, trying to preserve the taste of him on your tongue, memorising how it dipped with the weight of him, the size of him, his shape.

It was his hand that ventured in your hair tentatively, removing your mouth from him entirely.

“Love, are you alright? Anything wrong?” Did you forget something? It felt like you did. Maybe you had… Maybe he…

“Hey,” he called gently, getting off the swing to kneel in front of you. He spoke your name with adoration and love and worry on his face, his voice so sweet and perfect, like a flannel shirt on an autumn day. His arms wrapped around you.

“Candy,” he said simply. He felt your body go loose in his arms. “Yes, love. Relax.” He smiled and closed his eyes, so pleased with himself. “I've got you.”

“I'm home,” you exhaled, your arms squeezing him. “I am home.”

“You're home, love.” He kissed the crown of your head, then tipped back just slightly, just enough so he could look into your eyes, and see himself reflected there. See himself through you. “I'm here now. And nothing will ever go wrong.” He pecked your lips with his. “Believe me.”

“I believe you,” you replied, the faith in your voice so firm that he understood why some people died for their beliefs.

He didn't need you to tell him: he knew your love for him was like religion. And maybe he was stupid, but he had always believed in you like a god, so it felt electrocuting to be looked at the same way he usually looked at other people.

He realised how strong he was only once he managed to see his strength in you.

He sat on his heels and pulled you onto his lap,his kiss getting deeper, stopping only once his knees hurt from being pressed to the hard floor.

“Get on the swing, sweet cheeks,” he teased before squeezing your butt eloquently. “I believe I promised my tongue to your clit.”

You were still dizzy from his kisses, so you barely caught the words — 'tongue', 'clit', — enough to send a sex addled smile to your face.

You helped yourself up and he held the straps for you, helping you sit first, then guiding your feet onto the stirrups.

“Lay back,” he suggested, noticing how stiff you were on the seat, barely giving him enough room to access your body.

You fumbled with the back strap, shortening it, adjusting it to your body clumsily after it had held Jeongguk's larger, stronger shoulders.

You managed to relax just barely.

He smiled reassuringly. “It's gonna hold you up, just slide your weight to the back.”

You did as he told you. Your body shifted abruptly, but he had a strong hold of you, keeping you in position and stabilising the straps so that they would hold you safely.

“There,” he murmured kindly, making eye contact with you and shooting you a grin. “How are you feeling?”

“Unsteady,” you confessed with a tense expression.

“I promise you won't notice that once you get used to it. And once I get my mouth on you.”

You chuckled and exhaled, trying to let go of the funny sensation caused by the swing and the drifting midair.

The first thing Jeongguk did was grabbing a plush towel from the drawer, laying it on the ground for him to kneel.

Next he took your left calf and sat beside it, between your legs.

“Look at that… Why didn't you tell me it hurt, mh?” His tone was almost disappointed as he pressed his lips to your bruising knees.

“What?” you asked, a bit too caught up in the moment to understand what he was talking about.

“Your knees on the floor. They're gonna bruise,” he explained, moving his lips to the other knee and peppering kisses there.

How that could feel erotic, you didn't know, the only thing you could focus on were the currents of pleasure pushing you around like tides.

“I didn't notice they hurt,” you tried to say before your entire brain would turn to mush.

“You must have been extremely focused on something else entirely…” he mused with a boyish grin. “I understand. I also get tunnel vision when my beautiful girlfriend is laying right before me… Legs spread… Tits out…” He leaned forward, his hot breath caressing your soaked folds. “Now now, let's see if you taste as sweet as I remember.”

You were twitching on the swing by then, so awfully impatient — so impatient that the first lick, although mind blowing, was barely satisfactory.

“Memory doesn't do you justice, my love.” His second lick was outright sinful. “You're so far damn more delicious.”

He was a hurricane. Unstoppable, unrelenting. A force of nature. He could play you like an instrument, a twist of his tongue and your arms went tense, a flick at your clit and your legs quivered, on plunge inside you had your head thrown back, your hands reaching out, your eyes shutting tight and your breath caught in your lungs.

He kept his tongue straight, taut, and slipped just an inch inside you, grabbing the seat of the swing to push you back and forth on him.

The sensation wasn't as mind-blowing as you thought it would be, probably because your clit stayed uninvolved.

“Guk. Outside, your hands,” you stammered, bringing your own hands to his head, trying to direct him.

He looked up at you, his chin glistening with your cum. His expression looked confused, as if he hadn't totally processed your words.

“I need you on my clit,” you said more clearly, your voice still a bit whiny. “I want— YES!”

Two of his fingers had started curling against your g-spot, while his tongue was flat out, his head moving in a nodding motion, with quick, rough swipes of his tongue.

“Please, keep going,” you breathed out, feeling his hair underneath your fingers, his moans of pleasure as he dove entirely in your taste.

His dick was once more hard, once more glistening and dripping. God, he wanted inside… He wanted it so, so bad.

He wanted to feel your cunt milking him, warm and slippery, with that delicious texture, those trained muscles that always took him so well, squeezing him, then releasing him, on and on with that erotic torture that never failed to drive him insane.

He had to focus on something else, or he would never last long enough. He simply picked up the pace, hoping that the change in pattern would get you to cum faster.

“Guk, I… So close.”

He watched you. He watched your chest blush and your mouth open and your hair tumble back. His gaze returned to your nipples, his fingers almost ready to head up and tweak them before he remembered his task. He stayed focused, he kept the pace. And then your entire body locked before it exploded.

You did not contain a loud, moaning call of his name, which almost made him lose his cool. You tried to say his name again, but the sound died on your tongue as he kept touching you beyond your pleasure, pushing your limits. Your fingers were tugging at his hair, trying to pull him away, but he stayed there, only removing his digits from within you.

Only when he was happy with your state of dishevel, he detached from you and slipped his fingers in his mouth. Three of them.

You didn't remember having three inside…

“Whenever you're ready, flip on your stomach. I know how I wanna do this,” he said, shortly after he popped his fingers out from his mouth with a lewd sucking sound. He was probably savouring every drop of you on his hand.

“Are you still with me, love?” He asked with a fond look on his face. Goodness, he wanted to lay on top of you. Maybe also do you in missionary, just to refresh the memory of your lost expression whenever he was too good at whatever he was doing. He had been masturbating for weeks while propped on his knees and elbow, a towel laid down below his hips, using his hand as if it could even remotely resemble the feel of you, his eyes closed as he evoked the sound of you, the look of you. The feel of your breasts in his mouth, of your ass cupped in his hand as he tried to lift you up, to shift the angle in that way that always had you exhaling so loud a whimper would escape you.

“Sweetheart?” he called you again, only to watch you shake your head.

“I'm too dizzy, I don't want to shift.”

Jeongguk moved a lock of hair that had stuck to your face. “Dizzy? Do you need help? Sugars? Did you skip your meals?”

“No, I'm just… It's the swinging, I think.” You looked up at him and your face immediately bloomed in a beatific expression. “Hi,” you swooned.

“Hello,” he replied, equally love-addled. “You've reached Baby Star Candy's voicemail. Jeongguk is currently unavailable, he's lost in his beautiful girlfriend's eyes,” he said, droning like a recorded voice.

It made you laugh. It made you fall for him ten times harder. “I love you, baby boy.”

He grinned. His dimples appeared, the scar on his cheek turned into a smiley face too. His eyes glittered with something so pure and unexpected, something sharp and hot that cut through you like a knife, but never hurt. You felt impaled by it.

“I love you too, ____.” Your name trotted out of his lips like a golden retriever puppy with a fancy, clumsy fall to its oversized paws, perfectly represented by Jeongguk's little lisp. It was adorable.

It made you want to give him the world.

You haphazardly stood to your feet, reaching with your arms around his neck to hug him. “If only I could show you how you make me feel,” you mused, a pang of disappointment in your gut due to the fact that he would never feel the circus parade that marched through you everytime you were reminded of your unique bond.

“I can feel it.”

“I want to show it. Like if I could tear open my chest and let you see what's going on underneath.”

“That's risky.” He kissed your head. “Kinda gross and dangerous too, so please don't. I can feel it, that's enough to me. You show me everyday.” He held you closer, still careful about not squeezing you. Sometimes he was reminded you could take everything he threw your way only metaphorically, and he softened the strength of his hold. His voice sounded a little worried when he spoke again. “What is it, Candy? Are you okay, love?”

“I never thought being far from you would be so painful and so beautiful. I’m so grateful you gave me this chance.” Your voice was pliant, almost supplicant.

“It wasn’t me conceding you anything. It’s not like you needed my permission.” He held your face and tipped it back so he could look into your eyes. “You earned it, you deserved it. You’re hard-working, and I wouldn’t be a good partner if I tied your wings back and kept you in a golden cage. You need to fly and I need to trust you to come back. I want you to become the best version of yourself, and I need to encourage you on your way to it.”

You kissed him, with tears in your eyes, you kissed him, until your lungs burnt, until he was vibrating with urgency to be inside you.

“Candy,” he panted out, “Candy, sweetheart, I need you.” His cheeks were red because of the temperature in the room, because of his heart thrumming like a war drum in his chest. He lowered himself and pressed his hands to the back of your knees, picking you up effortlessly, grinning at your breasts right in front of his eyes. He almost wanted to say something but he stretched his neck so he could wrap his mouth around your nipple and suck it.

He fixed his grip as you threw your head back, humming. “Bed. We can do whatever with the swing another time. Now make it easy, quick and please, make it so good, Guk. Make it as good as you promised me over and over.”

He nodded. Though he wanted you hanging from the swing, so he could just swing you back and forth onto his cock, make you slide on him. “Just try the swing for a minute. Please.” He splashed little pecks all over your breasts. “If you don’t like it, I’ll just fuck you in bed. But give the swing a try first. Please. I’ll eat you out again if I mess up, just give it a chance. Please, Candy,” he supplicated, his voice whiny and imploring.

You nodded, distracted. “Anything you want, baby.” When he used that voice… Those glittering eyes, so innocent no matter the amount of deranged pleasure he gave you, they always managed to win him whatever he wanted from you.

He asked you to grip the ropes of the swing as he lowered you onto the seat, fixing the height of it so you were perfectly aligned with his pelvis.

He set his legs a bit wider, then grabbed your hips. He looked down just in time to see you spread open, to hear you purr as he used his shaft on your clit, the hard ridge of it pressed right between your labia, rubbing back and forth. We was quiet, taking in the feeling, the sight. He was focusing, tormented by the thought that he'd been too careless each time he'd made love to you, that in the scorching urge of the moment, when you called each other to get rid of tension, he never managed to recall the details that he could never remember where your hands usually touched him, and where his hands usually stayed. He was—

“Baby,” you murmured, your voice breaking the spell of his panic. “Just slip inside, baby boy. I'll make you forget it.”

He pushed in in less than a second, his dick sinking inside you without friction, without resistance.

You were welcoming him inside you, ready for him. He loved it. Tight felt good, sure. But slippery and warm felt incredibly better, especially when too much tightness could make him lose his mind. He preferred when he made you feel so good you started clenching around him, that way he knew it wasn't pain you were feeling.

“What were you thinking of, baby boy?” You cooed fondly. “As long as we're okay, it's nothing we're supposed to worry about right now, okay?”

He nodded and lowered his torso, holding you as best as he could before he kissed your cheek, and let you kiss him in return. He sank deeper and groaned, ready to bottom out. He did so with a final, thorough thrust. “I was just comparing this all to the way I remembered you when we were apart. There are things I never actively noticed I missed until you were away and I was jerking off to the thought of you.”

He pulled out just a fraction of an inch, but from the way you nodded, completely unfazed by his movement, he realised he had the green light to go.

He pulled out half of him and pushed in again with a thrust of his hips, plunging inside you again in a way that made your eyes lock with his, your parted lips mirrored by yours, wonder and pleasure resetting both your and his brain.

“So now I'm trying to notice more actively all the things you do. I want to be able to imagine you as if you were really there with me.” Another thrust, this one ruthless in a way that made your inside shudder with his violence and his devotion, as he spoke: “Not just your body, how it feels, how it moves, but the way you feel on the brain.”

You stretched your hand, cupping his cheek. He closed his eyes and leaned in your touch, finally home. The innocence of him, of his face as he got lost in you, destroyed you. Tears pricked just behind your eyes, ready to spill. He was so perfect, he trusted you so fully, vulnerable, abandoned in your presence alone.

All, all of his walls crumbled down when you were alone with him. And it pleased you, it enchanted you, it made you feel so powerful, and yet love, love untainted love, made you never claim that power to yourself.

It was his gift to you. It was him handing you the knife to hold, and you never sinking it in. He had expected it at the beginning, in his fear; he had always been there, wide eyed lamb waiting to be sacrificed, waiting for his heart to be ripped out.

But you had never. You had never abused the power he was bound to hand over, over and over. And that was the reason why, when his eyes opened, and his lip wobbled, and and he slowed down his thrusts, irises glossy with unshed tears, you tried to sit up, stretching your arms to wrap them behind his neck. It was the reason why he gave in, he caved in and let his torso glue to yours, still rocking his hips slowly, back and forth, oh so slowly.

It robbed you of your breath, of your sanity, of your whole world. There was no world. There was only Jeongguk.

“Babyboy,” you cooed meekly, all your tenderness like a cocoon to his rabbit heart. “Give me. I can take it.”

His mouth sucked at your neck. His teeth sank in and his movements quickened. He was holding your hips, and started using his arms to pull you on him, the crude slapping sound of flesh on flesh growing cruel, so explicit it almost hurt your ears, but you found something else to focus on. His little grunts, his mouth detaching from your collarbone to glue itself to your lips, sucking, licking, nibbling too. His digits were digging in your flesh and he was lost, so lost in you. His hands felt like they were setting their roots in you, growing inside you.

It was like he had been living uprooted since you’d left, and now he was finding his home, his habitat. He was grounded again. And he’d never felt so eager to crawl deeper than he’d been before you parted.

Words had been lost, especially when he was reminded of the little addition to the wonderland of your body.

His tongue found your nipple, the steel stud piercing through it. He twirled it with his tongue with wide, strong licks, his eyes glued to yours.

You moaned and he grunted as he slammed you harder on his cock. “Are you close?” he asked, ever the diligent lover.

“Just cum. I’ll follow,” you said through laboured pants.

He shook his head. “No. Together,” he objected grunting.

You stared at him for a moment before a smile spread on your face. You reached down with your hand. “Okay, babyboy.”

He grinned, his bratty, demanding side momentarily subdued. “Quick.”

You arched an eyebrow, expression cocky. “Careful, bunny.”

His lips formed a confused pout, mouth softly agape. He blinked with that cute innocent face of his. “Hold tight,” he said, his hands shifting only a few inches, to cup your butt and lift you up.

You wrapped your arms around his back while he moved to the bed, sitting down, still sheathed inside you. He lowered his back down, you straddling his lap.

“Baby?” You asked, both your hands on his face, thumb tracing his lower lip. “What’s with the switch?”

“You called me bunny. With that voice. I thought…” His expression was once more confused, adorably so.

You nodded, lowered yourself to kiss your lips.

“Tell me you’ve got me,” he said. “Tell me I’m yours. Show me.” He spoke with that light tone he used when he needed to be reassured.

“Where did your head go, bunny. Of course I’ve got you, Guk. You’ve always got me, baby.” You moved on him with the slowest roll of your hips, so eloquently speaking of love, of tenderness, of safety, of reassurance. “There, bunny.��

He pulled you closer, holding you in his arms, leaving room just enough for your middle finger to draw circles on your clitoris, a warm feeling coiling up in your insides. You squeezed on him and he huffed out a heavy breath. “So… so good. Warm. Good. Snug.”

“You were made to be inside me,” you told him. “We were made for this.” You kissed below his jaw and he purred below you, pushing up and goodness gracious…

“Are you there, Guk? Are you…?”

He grabbed your hips and started moving you on him and it felt so damn right, so stupidly, insanely perfect and you were…

Falling into him. It was like his soul and yours crushed together and your body was obliterating into particles together with his. Collapsing like a supermassive binary system, you were melting into each other. You adhered to each other, atom to atom.

No distance. No room whatsoever. No light or heat would ever escape you. You were a million suns each. You were a joke to gravity.

You were hovering far from the Solar system. You were one billion Earths, lands, oceans, mountains, storms, deserts. You were a choir of galaxies and each sang the same song, each sang that answer.

Own, own, own.

And belong, belong, belong.

The next time Jeongguk spoke, you felt it. That Upper Hand that had puppettered you in each other’s life.

His voice was raspy and exhausted as he started moving again. He wanted everything. And he wanted it again. He made you rise on him like a dawning goddess, and then he said, with awe in his voice: “You said this love is creation. Then create galaxies for me.”

#jk x reader #jungkook smut #jeon jungkook fanfiction #jungkook x reader #jungkook x candy #jungkook one shot #jungkook fic #thebtswritersclub #thetruthuntoldnet #bangtansorciere #52 hertz #bangtan smut #jungkook pwp #jungkook fluff

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taexual · 3 months

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sleepwalking ● 19 | jjk

pairing: jungkook x fem!reader

genre: rockstar!jungkook / exes to lovers

warnings: explicit language, ANGST & FLUFF (i mean it, watch out), SLOW BURN

words: 14.5k

read from the beginning ○ masterlist

chapter 19 ► so dig two graves, ‘cause when you die, i swear i’ll be leaving by your side

When the tour bus arrived in Glasgow, you realised that you had slept perhaps a quarter of an hour in total tonight. Discomfort and Regret had become unwelcome companions that kept you up.

Last night, you had planned to talk to Jungkook, but he flipped the script and did all the talking instead. And if you had to describe your choices from then on, you’d have to accept that, essentially, you had run away without saying anything.

You realised now, through tossing and turning in your bunk the whole bus journey, that this was your recurring pattern.

When you and Jungkook first broke up, you’d barricaded yourself in your apartment and only ventured outside when it was unavoidable, like to go to work. Or when your friends forced you out of bed. They tolerated your need for silence in moderation—a few days of self-imposed isolation were okay. But two consecutive weeks was a little excessive.

In Stockholm, the impulse to run away had gripped you right after your conversation on the bridge sank abruptly in the waters below. In Oslo, you had actually run away after you’d almost kissed. You could still feel the shivers on your skin from the cold night air on the rooftop terrace. And, of course, you’d also planned to avoid him when you arrived in Manchester.

It was a pattern that was doomed to end in failure every time, yet you stubbornly refused to give it up.

You wanted to escape the feelings that frightened you, but they only ran faster. They chased after you like daunting shadows. They caught up with you. They engulfed you.

This perpetual cycle wasn’t just futile, it was also unfair—to you and to Jungkook. And to Rated Riot, too.

It had gone on for too long.

You were determined to redeem that today.

While Jungkook and the boys were doing an interview on a local radio station after the soundcheck, you chose to stay at the venue to work. Initially, you only intended to answer internal company emails and update the label executives, but unsurprisingly, that morphed into more tasks that needed your immediate attention.

Seated at your laptop in the band’s dressing room, you spent a good couple of hours finalising Rated Riot’s schedule for the rest of the week, emailing back journalists and verifying their credentials before issuing backstage passes for upcoming interviews, and humming along to a tune playing in your headphones.

It was then—during the chorus of an old Bad Omens song that was loud and messy enough to keep your mind alert and focused—that Seokjin decided to tap you on the back.

You jumped up as high as it was humanly possible and pushed your laptop away as if to protect it from intruders—which was what your mind assumed Seokjin to be, apparently. He took a step back, shocked and very entertained by your violent startle.

“Shit, sorry,” he said, attempting to suppress a smile. “You’ve been—you’ve been working here by yourself for hours. I’m taking a coffee break. Want to join me?”

With one hand pressed to your chest, you slid your headphones off and checked the time on the corner of your laptop screen. “Uh, sure. Coffee sounds nice.”

The two of you found a quaint café a few blocks from Barrowland where Rated Riot would be playing later that evening. But despite the cosy setting, you chose to grab your coffee to-go. It was a warm, sunny day outside. Seokjin thought you could use some fresh air.

“So,” he said eagerly, as soon as the café bell tinkled, announcing your exit, “what’s on your mind?”

You met his question with surprise. “What do you mean?”

He maintained an air of nonchalance, sipping his Americano and observing casually, “your pupils are massive. You look like you’re planning a revolution. Or a massacre.”

You took a sip of your drink and regretted not stirring the caramel in better. You wondered what it would be by the end of tonight: revolution or massacre.

“I was—well, it’s nothing much,” you said. “I was just thinking that things might be different when we got home.”

“How so?”

The two of you crossed the street towards a small, vibrant green space—not quite a park—with a tree-lined pathway in the middle and an old blue police box nearby, reminiscent of Doctor Who.

“Well,” you said, “I hear Brazil is really nice that time of year.”

“You’re thinking of going on holiday?” Seokjin asked, surprised. He’s known you since you joined the company, even before you started to manage Rated Riot, and he was well aware of your lack of holidays. The HR department, however, remained blissfully ignorant about it.

You shrugged. “For starters.”

“And then?”

“And then we’ll see.”

The ambiguity in your response wasn’t worrying in itself, but combined with your reluctance to meet his gaze and the intense concentration on your coffee—even though you winced every time you took a sip—it was certainly alarming.

“You’re not… going to quit, are you?” he asked hesitantly. “I’ve heard about Reconnaissance.”

Of course, he’d heard. At this point, enough people knew about it for the news to have a ripple effect and circulate backstage.

“No,” you said, trying to dispel the tension with an airy laugh. “Of course not.”

He nodded. “Okay.”

“I’d find a replacement first.”

Seokjin’s casual stride came to an abrupt halt. A few steps ahead, you realised he’d stopped and turned around.

“No,” he said.

His firm declaration made you stutter. “Th-that—that wasn’t a question.”

“And that’s not an option,” he argued. “You can’t quit.”

“I’m not saying I’m leaving for sure. I’m just saying that if I did leave, you wouldn’t even notice the difference,” you said. “I’m a very good teacher.”

With that, you started to walk away, leaving him little choice but to catch up.

“And I love all of you guys,” you continued while Seokjin grunted next to you. “I wouldn’t leave you with someone I didn’t personally trust to take care of you and the band.”

He shook his head, his determination unwavering. If he had known about the band members’ conviction that no one would blame you if you left Rated Riot due to the alluring offer from Reconnaissance, Seokjin might have been tempted to express his disagreement with his fists.

Of course, people would blame you—Seokjin was the people in question.

You belonged here. You were an essential part of the team.

He was convinced of this, and he was going to be annoying about it.

“Okay, I appreciate that,” he said, his tone tinged with incredulity. “Except, what the fuck are you thinking? Of course, we’d notice the difference! You’re you. We love you.”

“That means a lot—”

“But not enough?”

You hesitated, caught off guard by the intensity of his anger. “No, it’s—”

“Alright, look.” He stopped walking again, the paper cup of coffee in his hand more of an accessory than a beverage. “Is this about Jungkook?”

An unexpected heat surged through you and a cascade of excuses immediately raced through your mind. You scanned the pathway, reading the names of the bands imprinted into the pavement with colourful stripes—artists who’d performed at Barrowland before, you assumed—so you wouldn’t have to look at him.

But this was Seokjin. If there was anyone who knew everything that was going on in the band, it was him. You didn’t want to give him pretend reasons.

“In part,” you admitted.

“Well, if that’s the case, then it’s an even more definite no,” he asserted, his resolve unyielding.

You sighed and attempted to smile, but there was a hint of awkwardness in your expression. “I’m not taking votes, Jin. I’ll talk to Jungkook about this, and—”

“You can talk to anyone you like. All the gods you can find, even,” he interrupted. “But you’re not leaving.”

“Jin—”

“Look, when you accepted this job, the fact that you and Jungkook used to know each other didn’t matter,” he stated, tactfully omitting the word ‘relationship’—a nuance you appreciated. “What difference does it make now?”

As you bit your lip and lowered your eyes, Seokjin sensed that there was a difference, after all. It occurred to him that perhaps he wasn’t entirely up to speed on everything that was happening on the tour, after all.

“Okay, you don’t want to talk about it, and I’m not asking you to,” he said, his words gentle, but his tone strict. “What I’m saying is that nobody cares. You can date, you can break up, you can—I don’t know. You can pretty much do anything as long as you don’t kill each other. No one cares.”

“The label cares,” you blurted, the words unpolished and agitated. “I care.”

He waved his free hand dismissively. “The label cares about profit. We’re making a profit from you both. Maybe even more when you’re together because you’re both less annoying that way.”

Your eyebrows furrowed. “How are we annoying?”

“Are you kidding? All mopey and sulky?” He stuck his tongue out and pretended to gag. “You make me sick and miserable.”

You snickered softly at the dramatic display. “Fair. Sorry. But fact is, it’s still a good opportunity.”

“Well, sure,” he conceded. “But is that really the reason you want to leave? Or is it because you think that what you’re doing with Jungkook is wrong? You think others will disapprove or think less of you. You think this is highly unprofessional, and it would make more sense to work elsewhere.”

It felt oddly incongruous to hear him articulate—so easily, without a moment’s hesitation—everything that you had been thinking.

“Well, that’s a factor, too, of course…” you said, your voice faltering.

“I think that’s the main factor.”

Taking a sip of your coffee, you mumbled, “I think you think too much.”

“I think you don’t think enough,” he countered. “You can’t leave, not even for Reconnaissance. You’re part of the team, our team. We all are.”

You looked at him, and he raised his eyebrows expectantly—waiting, clearly, for you to admit defeat.

While you didn’t technically need his consent to quit, the sheer determination in his stance made you feel as though his approval was, indeed, a prerequisite for anyone choosing to leave.

“Now you’re making me feel guilty,” you said.

“As you should!” he said—nearly bellowing in his frustration. “But you should feel guilty about mistakenly thinking that you should leave. Not about being in love with him.”

His words struck a deep chord and your heart began to rattle violently in your chest. “I’m—right. Yeah. I need to talk to him about—about everything.”

His tone softened at your reaction.

“I think you should sit down for ten minutes and gather your thoughts before you do that,” he advised. “You should sit and accept that we don’t care if you go out with Jungkook. Whatever you decide, we’re all cool with it. As long as you are, too.”

Afraid that your eyes would betray your thoughts, you shifted your gaze to the silver barks of the graceful birch trees around you. “Do you know about the bet?”

Seokjin took a slow sip of his coffee to allow more time between these overlapping conversations.

“Yeah,” he said. “Is that... uh, have you two worked it out?”

“We’ve—I think we have. I think the bet wasn’t even the main issue, actually, it just—it sort of highlighted all our problems,” you admitted. “We—we’ll have to work through the rest.”

“Right. Okay,” he said. The sun rolled out from behind the buildings, casting a golden glow on the trees and the empty path ahead of you. He squinted and took a sip of his coffee before speaking. “Well, then I can safely tell you that everyone backstage knows about it.”

The disappointment on your face was absolute. “Oh. That—that’s lovely.”

He smiled sympathetically as the two of you continued down the faintly coloured path. Despite the sunshine, the cool breeze toyed relentlessly with the edges of your jackets.

“Don’t worry about it too much, though,” he said. “It’s nothing more than a silly joke backstage. We’re not judging either of you.”

You did worry about it. “What… do you mean by ‘silly joke,’ exactly?”

The two of you arrived at a large sycamore tree with leaves that glimmered in emerald hues under the sun, and Seokjin stopped, grateful for the shade.

“One of the roadies started it,” he explained. “It was just a game. A bet, actually! Funny.” He chuckled at the irony, but stopped himself when he noticed your stoic expression. “Anyway. Someone suggested that Jungkook’s friends were trying to sabotage your relationship by making this bet with him. So, we bet on Jungkook fighting his friends for you. Which—that cost me money, actually. When he showed up at the airport in Cologne with a black eye, I lost fifty euros.”

It took you a minute to process this, and you felt so uncomfortable that your fists itched with an urge to fight someone, too.

“You—so, you bet that he wouldn’t fight his friends?” you clarified, almost hopeful.

“No. I bet that he would,” he said. “But I got too big-headed and bragged about how he wouldn’t miss a single punch. So, everyone claimed that I lost and took my money. Really, I thought he knew how to fight. And he was doing it for a noble cause.” A dramatic pause ensued, and then Seokjin smirked. “I mean you, by the way.”

“No, yeah, I got that,” you said bitterly. “But you didn’t even know the actual—everyone just assumed he had a black eye because of me?”

He pulled his lips together to stifle a chuckle as he moved his cup of coffee away.

“Can you blame us?” he asked with a leisurely shrug. “He’s in love with you, and his friends are complete idiots. And then he shows up with a black eye! The dots connected themselves. Although, personally, I thought Luna or Maggie could have socked him in the eye, too. You three are very protective of each other.”

You tilted your head, your posture a warning. “I see. So, we’re a telenovela to you. Did you bet that I would knock someone out if I found out what you were up to?”

“Not yet,” he said, clearly delighted by the prospect of this happening in the future.

“Did you get your money back at least?”

“Yeah. But then I lost it again.”

The leaves of the sycamore tree rustled impatiently as you groaned. “How?”

“Another bet,” he said. “Some people—including Jimin, by the way—thought that Jungkook’s friends would never come to another Rated Riot show. In the UK specifically. We were very specific about the details in this bet.”

“Right, of course.”

He smirked, unapologetic about the amusement he derived from this. There were all sorts of games happening backstage at any given point in the tour; nearly everything became a joke here. And Seokjin hoped to show you that yes, people did know about you and Jungkook. But unless they could find ways to make it funny, they didn’t care.

He could tell that the more he talked to you about this, the more you started to recognise the absurdity of it all, too.

“Right. Well, Jimin won that round. I actually—I thought Jungkook would change his mind and bring his friends back,” Seokjin confessed. “Serves me right. I should have trusted him more.”

You raised your cup in his direction.

“Yeah,” you said. “Serves you right for making bets about this. He blacklisted Sid.”

“He—oh!” Seokjin seemed very pleased to hear this. “Well, that was worth my money, then.”

“Hmm.”

He grinned, the mischief still lingering in his eyes.

“We have another bet going on,” he said.

“Anoth—well, of course.” Your teeth dug into the coffee lid as you tried to take a sip, but reconsidered. “So, what? Who’s getting a black eye this time?”

“It’s whether you’ll get back together.”

Your irritation wavered in surprise. A rustling stirred inside you as though you had swallowed the wind and carried it within.

“Well,” you said. “Where’d you place your bets?”

“Drink your coffee,” he said. You did. It had cooled and turned unpleasantly sweet as the caramel settled. “I haven’t bet on that yet. But if you told me if you’re considering going back to him, I could win my money back.”

You made sure to swallow before looking up.

“That’s not solely up to me, though,” you said, sensing an obvious defensive undertone in your own voice. You didn’t make much effort to conceal it; he would have read right through you anyway. “A relationship typically involves two people. I can’t force him to be in it.”

Seokjin offered a patient smile.

“Please,” he said. “Everyone knows he’d burn down half of Europe for you.”

You swallowed again.

It was just you. The only one still fighting it.

“Well, in any case—” Seokjin said, distracted, suddenly, by a particularly cheeky pigeon that kept flying up to your ankles, then to your knees. “That bird is going to steal your coffee.”

You glanced down, and the shift in your position frightened the pigeon into flying a few metres away. Seokjin nodded in approval.

“Anyway,” he said. “What I meant to say is that I don’t know how much my opinion is worth, but if the only reason you’re considering quitting is because of this, then that’s nothing. You sit down, you work through your problems, you get back together, and you’re good to go. Well, good to stay. It’s up to you. No one else cares.”

You raised your eyebrows. “Everyone’s talking. They’re making bets about us. We—we’re a joke backstage. And yet you think we should get back together?”

“Yeah.” He shrugged his shoulders. “Give us something else to bet on.”

Exasperation flashed across your face. “I’m thinking I’d like to sic that pigeon on you a little bit.”

“Oh, but what would you do without me?” He was grinning in a manner so endearing and genuine that you felt your lips stretch into a defeated smile as well. “You know we’re family. That is what we do. And you said it yourself – everyone’s already talking. And no one’s truly bothered by it. You might as well do what you want.”

You took a big gulp of your coffee to finish it.

Some of the humour faded from his eyes while he watched you. He looked around—to make sure the pigeon hadn’t returned and to gather his thoughts.

“Just think about it, okay?” he said. “You know how they say ‘measure twice, cut once’? Why don’t you measure three times? Four, even. Five. Or, I don’t know, as many times as it takes until you realise that there’s no need to cut anything. Everything’s great as it is.”

Your face felt warm. “That’s very profound.”

“It is.” He nodded, his exaggerated confidence faltering a little when he saw the gratitude in your eyes and suddenly found himself timid. “I’ve also got a few carpentry jokes if you’re in the mood for those.”

Laughing finally, you shook your head. “Maybe later. But thank you for this.”

“You’re welcome,” he said. “And notice how I’m not saying ‘anytime’? Because there can’t be another time that this happens. In fact, the next time I see you, it’ll be as if we never had this conversation.”

Still smiling despite his threatening tone, you put your palm to your forehead and extended your fingers in a salute. “Sir, yes, sir.”

He nodded, content with your response.

“Now go back to that café and bring me a scone,” he ordered, his expression bright again. “I got distracted by your misery and forgot to buy one.”

You snorted and nodded—you did owe him a scone, at the very least. Seokjin stepped deeper into the shade by the tree and waited while you jogged back towards the café. He looked up to see your lighthearted expression reflected in the window across the street and felt himself exhale in relief.

He’d done his job—you knew everyone needed you here.

You returned to the venue with enough scones for the whole staff, and as you passed them out, almost everyone on the team regarded you with a mix of curiosity and anticipation. It was a nice change from their earlier concerns about your health, but you still felt uncomfortable.

There was an obvious reason you enjoyed working backstage: here, you successfully evaded the spotlight. You did your work quietly and got to spend time with your friends.

But lately, you’d been feeling everyone’s eyes on you and, naturally, your instinctive reaction was to flee. Really, this had to be inherent; you wondered if your brother shared a similar flight-or-flight-never-fight response when confronted with an uncomfortable situation.

And still, you forced yourself to wait.

Following your conversation with Seokjin, you decided on the key points that you needed to discuss with Jungkook. And they were simple: share your thoughts with him and make a decision together.

You’ve never really tried this with him before; open communication was a recent development for the two of you. But you meant what you told Seokjin: a relationship involved two people. And regardless of what -ship you and Jungkook were currently in, your decisions still influenced his, and his influenced yours.

You had hoped to speak to him after he returned from his interview, but it was almost funny how time worked against you today.

After the band returned, you went to help Jungkook with his bandages, and the company executives decided to respond to your email with a phone call. And so, you were forced to stay on the phone with the label the whole time before Rated Riot went on stage.

That was okay. You figured you would talk to Jungkook later.

But later just wouldn’t come.

After the concert, you waited for the band to finish taking pictures with their fans before you took them to another interview with several more radio hosts. And when you returned to the bus, the curtains on Jungkook’s bunk were drawn. You didn’t want to wake him in case he was asleep.

The only time you finally had direct contact with Jungkook was on the plane to London. He surprised you by approaching you from behind and casually lifting your carry-on to the overhead compartment. Then, as though he hadn’t done anything out of the ordinary, he turned around to return to his seat.

“Wait,” you called out. “Can I—can we talk? Yoongi said he’d switch seats with me.”

Jungkook stopped, his stomach sinking. He was the undefeated champion of misinterpreting situations—he hadn’t forgotten how your conversation had ended last night, but he still thought this was about Sid.

Because while you were beating yourself up about your avoidant tendencies, Jungkook was grappling with a different problem.

Since this morning, he had been bombarded with incessant text messages from an unknown number that ranged from vaguely bothersome (“UR SO DUMB LMSAO”) to genuinely threatening (“DNOT THINK THS IS OVER YOU FUCKVING CUNT”). All texts contained a certain distinctiveness: full capitalisation, typos, and a disturbing scent of wounded ego.

It was Sid, Jungkook was absolutely sure of it.

He seemed to be in a white powder induced frenzy, which wasn’t particularly unusual—Jungkook didn’t think he could remember the last time Sid had been completely sober—but the frequency of the texts was a little unsettling. Jungkook thought the bet was over now, even if Sid wasn’t satisfied. But clearly, Sid was craving something more.

Jungkook wasn’t sure how you would know about this or why you would bring it up now, but he felt his phone vibrating in his pocket again, and he thought this had to be the reason why.

“Sure,” he said, trying to mask his apprehension. He turned on airplane mode on his phone and looked up. “What’s, uh—what’s going on?”

You gestured at his seat. He sat down with bated breath—as if his life was about to change and he needed to brace for it—and waited for you to settle beside him.

“I wanted to, uh, explain myself,” you began as the plane filled. The rhythmic sound of people shuffling across the aisle was oddly soothing. Jungkook, however, appeared perplexed. “And to thank you, actually. For being there when I—well, when all of that happened. I’m sorry I caused—”

“You’ve already thanked me,” he interjected. “And you better not tell me that you’re apologising for fainting right now.”

“I’m—well, I’m just saying, you were right,” you said, disheartened by the disbelief in his eyes. You placed your water bottle on the fold-out tray and shifted in your seat. “I should have known better. Rested more. I guess what I’m saying is that I’m sorry I didn’t listen, and it all led to... that.”

He sighed. This wasn’t about Sid; this was about something worse.

“That’s who you are, though,” he said. He should have known this would be something you would blame yourself for once you recovered. “You always have to get everything done, or you—you can’t sleep. You need to, uh, work on that, but you don’t need to apologise for it.”

You looked down, tracing a shaky finger over the armrest between your seats.

“And,” he added before you could speak, “to be fair, a lot of things that happened on tour were actually out of your control. You had no choice but to put in extra time and effort, I guess. The stage constructions collapsed, the venue was flooded—”

“Right, but these—well, anyway,” you cut yourself off, reverting to your original train of thought. “I’m sorry you had to drop everything a-and worry about me. Well, not just you; the whole thing ended up being a big scene that disrupted everyone. But I—I wanted to say this to you, first of all.”

He observed you for a long moment. Between the truce you’ve decided on in your hotel room, the conversation he’d overheard about your meeting with Nick, and the disturbing messages from an unknown number, Jungkook was having a hard time comprehending what he’d done to warrant an apology from you right now.

Then, a troubling thought occurred to him: what if this was your way of saying goodbye?

He had let you go last night. What if you had decided to leave, and this was the prelude to the end of your time together?

“I’m—I didn’t have to do it,” he said. “I did it because I—well, I mean, you were passed out. Of course, I wanted to make sure you were okay.” He leaned forward in his seat. “It kind of sounds like you’re forgetting that you’re not just the manager here. You’re also my—uh, y-you’re our friend. We all would have acted the same way if it had been anyone else. It’s an ‘all for one, and one for all’ situation with us. You know that.”

He was right; your team had grown so close that none of you would have hesitated to help each other. Your unease simply stemmed from the fact that you were the one receiving help this time.

You swallowed. You thought you owed him an explanation about everything, but you haven’t even really gotten to it yet.

“Thank you,” you said. “For what you said and—and for what you did. I’ll make sure it doesn’t happen again.”

He gave you a hesitant smile. “Was I really so terrible at taking care of you that it made you change your workaholic ways?”

You raised your eyebrows, surprised by the gentle teasing in his words.

“No, you di—you were great. Except for the fact that you didn’t need to do that,” you said, shooting him a look that he promptly rolled his eyes at. You added, “I say that with gratitude, of course. But, um, I felt very uncomfortable just lying there while everyone else—well, can’t let that happen again. Anyway, this isn’t—”

“I hope it won’t happen again,” he interrupted. “But it’s—well, you’ve spent your whole life taking care of... everything. Your brother, your mum, uh, e-even me. It’s second nature to you, I don’t know how else to—you can’t help but actively try to fix things. So, I-I don’t mind being the person who reminds you to take it easy sometimes. I just want you to listen.”

He’d said something very similar to you last night and you dug your teeth into your lower lip so you wouldn’t argue.

You thought you weren’t doing a very good job of fixing things—nevermind that you’ve subconsciously turned absolutely everything around you into your personal responsibility, and it was simply unrealistic to take care of it all.

“Thank you,” you chose to say. “I just, um—I don’t want you to think I’m talking to you so you’d make me feel better. You don’t need to do that. And it’s my turn to expla—”

He whipped his head to look at you so suddenly—an almost offended expression on his face—that the rest of your sentence got caught in your throat.

“Wh—why do you always think that?” he asked. “That I do something for you because I feel like I have to?”

“I don’t—I know you’re not—ah.” Leaning back in your seat, you attempted to rearrange your thoughts as if you were shuffling stubborn cards in a deck—trying to find the one you needed to win a game against yourself. “That’s not even the main thing I wanted to talk to you about.”

“Okay,” he said, a little worried. “What is the main thing?”

It took you a moment to find your breath.

“The conversation that we had last night—well, not just last night, actually, it’s been happening for a while. But, uh, last night specifically—it wasn’t supposed to end like that,” you said. He lowered his eyes. “That’s what I wanted to, um—to bring up. Because we’re not talking again, you know? I mean—okay. That’s not true. You are talking. But I’m not. I-I think it’s still new to me that we’re—that we’re actually talking about things. About everything. I’m sorry I haven’t said much to you in return.”

You exhaled when you finished speaking—finished stammering, really—but you didn’t feel relieved. There was a lot more you had to say.

Jungkook, on the other hand, felt his thoughts drift back to Amsterdam once again, when he had entered your hotel room to apologise, and you told him you forgave him and apologised in return. He remembered the pained, laboured beating of his heart as he listened to you—thinking, all the while, that he had no right to want you all for himself.

Now, he had some additional time to think about how to respond, because the flight attendant started the safety demonstration at the front of the plane, preparing for take-off.

He fastened his seatbelt, relieved by the silence on his phone—but the quiet pause between you as the plane lifted off the runway felt very loud in his head.

“You know,” he said after a few minutes, “you find the weirdest things to feel guilty about.”

You furrowed your brows while Jungkook idly twirled the onyx signet ring on his index finger.

“You’re never obligated to respond to what I tell you,” he said. “I didn’t say any of those things to you in Manchester in exchange for your immediate forgiveness, or for some similar stories, or for—anything, really. You don’t owe me anything. I just wanted to tell you everything, and that’s it.”

“I-I get that,” you shifted in your seat, restricted by the seatbelt, “but I’m your manager. And I-I left you in a confusing, stressful situation by yourself when I refused to talk to you right away. That was—it was unprofessional at best, and cruel at—”

“You’re more than that to me, though,” he cut in. You gripped the armrest tighter. “You know that. And you didn’t… leave me in that situation as my manager. You left me there as my ex-girlfriend. You have that right. You were confused and stressed, too.”

Your gaze slid over his black and grey flannel and the t-shirt with a Rated Riot logo underneath. The plane cruised at the designated altitude, but you still felt pushed into your seat like you had during take-off.

“I don’t—I’m not sure those two roles can be separated any longer,” you admitted.

Oh, whispered an alarmed pang of his heart. And, oh? echoed the multitude of shivers rippling underneath his skin.

“What are you saying?” he asked.

You drew in a breath. You didn’t want to start from the beginning because you had a feeling that he might not let you get to the end, so you decided to start from the explanation—the one that you’d come here to give him, but kept getting sidetracked as he responded to you in ways you weren’t anticipating.

“People on tour,” you began, “are very invested in our, uh—situation.”

Jungkook arched an eyebrow. “They’re invested?”

“Apparently, we’re a popular topic backstage.”

Quickly enough, he thought he figured out your implication: if he hadn’t played along with Sid, the staff on this tour might have been having very different conversations.

“I’m sorry,” he said.

“No, that’s not—well, it’s not just your fault,” you replied. “It takes two, right?”

“Right, but I was the one who made the bet.”

“You—okay. But this isn’t about the bet—” you paused. Reconsidered. “Well, alright, the bet sort of kick-started a lot of things, but it’s not—that’s not the problem from my point of view right now.”

Oh, once more. And then, ah.

You were talking, he realised, about the things you didn’t want to talk about in your hotel room in Manchester. The things you’ve affectionately labelled as “a confusing, stressful situation.” The things you were supposed to discuss later, when the time was right. Except he had succumbed to the terminal case of nothing-matters-anymore-if-you’re-leaving-the-band and got drunk instead.

“Okay,” he said. “That’s… fine with me.”

“Alright,” you said. “So, here’s our problem: I’m your manager.”

Jungkook raised his eyebrows and pulled his chin back.

“If that’s our only problem,” he said, “we are very lucky people.”

A brief smile flickered on your face.

“It’s our biggest problem,” you clarified. “But we definitely are lucky.”

Encouraged by the amusement in your eyes, he grinned. “Because we have each other?”

Your smile grew and even the plane itself seemed to shake a little when his heart rate accelerated at the sight of it.

“Because we can solve this problem,” you said.

His face fell. He thought he could guess where you were going with this.

“How do you mean?” he still asked, his voice a low murmur.

You thought you could have used some of the whiskey that Jungkook had sought out last night.

With a measured breath, you said, “I leave the band, and—”

“Wait,” he cut you off. “Is that supposed to be—”

“Hear me out first—”

“No, listen—if the problem is that you’re my manager,” he said, “then you leaving Rated Riot is not the solution.”

Jungkook sounded a little like Seokjin had earlier—a stark contrast from the way he’d spoken to you last night by the bus.

“Are you suggesting that because people are talking about us backstage?” he pressed.

You turned away. “It’s not just that. I mean, they’re already talking and that’s—well, it’s not great. But we can’t stop the wheel from turning now, or however that saying goes. What we can do, however, is stop it before it gets worse. And by that I mean, you know—we need to decide what the hell we’re doing.”

That was what he wanted, he thought. But now he was confused.

You seemed to want to make a decision about your relationship together. Yet you also seemed to believe that leaving Rated Riot was the best option. He failed to see how both of these things were possible at the same time.

“So, you’ve made up your mind, then?” he asked. “About leaving?”

“That’s what I want to talk to you about,” you said. “I don’t want to leave the band, but—”

“Well, that’s the thing, then,” he said sharply, unfastening his seatbelt. Turning to face you, he stumbled over his own confusion, “I’m—I don’t want to hold you back. I told you. But I thought you—I thought it would be—I thought you wanted to leave. I thought—but you want to stay. So, stay.”

Stay.

It was very simple, really, very concise. But it carried a lot more weight than his words last night when he had caught you off guard. When he had let you go.

You wanted to stay. You just didn’t think you should.

Your response wasn’t particularly verbal. “Hmm.”

“Is it me?” Jungkook asked. “Am I the only reason you’re thinking of leaving?”

He didn’t sound accusatory, even though you were prepared for it. He sounded apologetic instead—almost guilty—and you were completely unprepared for that as a million tiny needles pricked at your heart.

“You’re not the only reason,” you replied. “You’re part of it. And I don’t—look, I-I don’t want to leave. But that sounds reasonable when you look at where we are right now.”

He heard nothing of what you’d said.

“That’s not reasonable in the slightest,” he insisted.

“Jungkook—”

“You have to stay. If you—”

“But if that’s the choice that would make more sense for us,” you interjected, exasperated, “then I don’t mind leaving. If—if we weren’t working together anymore, then maybe we could try to finally figure our shit out.”

Now he heard it.

He had a vague awareness that the other passengers behind you had turned off their screens and removed their headphones, choosing to listen to your conversation instead. But he was too stunned by the look in your eyes to care.

So, that was what you were trying to say: you were prepared to leave Rated Riot to fix your relationship.

He opened his mouth to speak, but it took another minute for coherent words to come to him.

“We can—we can figure our shit out while working together,” he said. “Why do you have to leave?”

“It’s—you have to understand,” you said, “that I don’t know what I’m doing. I’m pretty sure neither do you, but that’s how you usually function.” Jungkook sobered up enough to offer a noncommittal shrug. You continued, “but for me—this is freaking me out. I don’t—I don’t know what’s going to happen and what we should do, and—leaving the band sounds—it seems reasonable. It seems safe. Smart. And that’s what I’m clinging to.”

He swallowed, not trusting himself to move. “But that’s—”

“Please, it’s—this is what I wanted to say to you—what I should have said to you last night.” There was a pleading tone in your voice. He nodded, quiet while you continued. “If I stay with Rated Riot, and we try to solve our problems… there are only two ways that can go, right? We both know as much. Either we get back together, or we don’t.”

Jungkook was mesmerised by how glaringly simple this was, in principle: either you used a label on your relationship, or you didn’t.

He knew he was going to love you either way, but he couldn’t breathe, suddenly, at the thought of this other choice in this dilemma—the choice where you didn’t get back together, and he spent the rest of his life deliberately going crazy, so he could return—at least in his mind—to that day seven years ago when he first met you.

“Well, uh, yeah,” he managed to say. “That’s pretty much the choices that we’ve got.”

You reclined in your seat, lifting your gaze to the light control buttons overhead.

“If we get back together…” you began, exhaling. “Then, we might have to face a lot of problems from the label. But we might be alright in the end. I don’t know.”

Jungkook tightened his jaw. He attempted to formulate a response that would be logical and appropriate in this situation. But really, his head felt too small for his thoughts and his tongue too big for his mouth.

“That’s… that’s good to know,” he eventually said.

“Mhmm,” you replied distractedly. “But see, what if we don’t get back together? Or we do, but it doesn’t work out?”

That was what worried him, too—but for different reasons.

He knew that you were looking at this from a pragmatic perspective. A logical, what-would-make-more-sense perspective.

He didn’t think he’d ever looked at it this way. For him, this was simple: he loved you and wanted to be with you. He didn’t care how inconvenient and illogical it might seem to those around him, and he refused to think about what would happen if this love didn’t work out. It would have to. How could it not?

But he recognised his privileges; he knew he didn’t have as many responsibilities as you did. And, alright, fine, he thought about it—realistically, if you broke up again, he’d probably drink until he turned into a puddle of whiskey, while you’d flee across the globe to get away from it all.

And yet—was that all there was to this? Just rationality and calculated decisions?

Jungkook cleared his throat and asked the question that he believed really mattered here.

“Do you love me?”

Someone on the plane gulped audibly and held their breath. He wondered if it was him.

The colour of your eyes deepened, then blurred. “I-I—that’s—that’s not—”

“Answer me,” he whispered.

You tried, but no words came out. This moment resembled the nightmares that haunted you lately: you opened your mouth to scream, but silence stifled every sound you tried to make.

“T-that’s—” you began and stopped yourself before you could stutter any further. You took a breath. “That’s not important right now—”

“How can it not be—”

“Because I do love you,” you said quickly—the words slurred into one desperate Idoloveyou, a hopeless Idoloveyou, a how-can-you-possibly-expect-me-not-to Idoloveyou. “But I don’t think I should. I don’t think you should, either. We’re a—we’re a fucking mess.”

Visibly frozen, Jungkook found himself thinking that if this was the sixteenth century, and the two of you just happened to have this conversation in some public square, the townsfolk would have surely accused you of witchcraft.

It was uncanny, the way you cast a spell on him with just four words—all four of which he heard with perfect clarity: I do love you. Granted, he wasn’t sure if he heard the rest. He felt like he was already burning in your place.

“Right,” he thought he said. He couldn’t feel his face. “But we’ve always—”

“I’m—I have to—I do owe you,” you said. He watched you, his expression oscillating between mild confusion and outright bewilderment. “You said I don’t, but I do. I could have told you what was going on in my head like you told me. Honestly, all this time, whenever I talked to people, they all told me to speak to you. To talk it out. And I closed up in my head instead. If I don’t talk about it, I don’t have to deal with it. You know?”

He blinked, finally. “That’s—”

“I’ll explain it, though, okay?” you said. “Please?”

You gave him too much power—as if he could ever say no to you. As if he could stop listening. As if every fibre of his being didn’t ache to stay close to you.

Warm—so unbearably warm that it felt like he was in the middle of exploring the landscapes Dante depicted in Inferno—Jungkook wiped off the sweat from his palms on his dark jeans.

“Yeah,” he said. “Yeah, okay.”

“It won’t take long,” you assured. “Really, I don’t even have much to say. I’m fucking scared. That’s all there is to it.”

Jungkook seemed to be practising the lost art of swallowing his tongue. He wanted you to continue and you were biting your lip in a way that suggested that this was not all there was to it. You only wished it was.

You took a trembling breath, and your lungs followed—quivering, it seemed, as they tried to provide you with the oxygen necessary for all that you were about to say.

“I spent the first fifteen years of my life watching my parents break up and get back together again,” you began. “And do you know what I felt every single time they broke up? Actual rage.” You laughed wryly here like this reaction was absurd. “But when they got back together, I was fucking—I was hopeful. I refused to speak to them, of course—I was a teenager—but I was… Inside, just like my mum, I also hoped that this would work. That this time would be the one.”

You swallowed and lapsed into a silence so long and heavy that Jungkook worried you might never speak again.

Fifteen years, he thought. And all this time, he’d assumed that your dad left for the final time when you were twelve. That was already bad enough, of course, but Jungkook hadn’t realised that the back-and-forth between your parents that you’d mentioned back in Tilburg had taken place after that. He hadn’t realised that you and your brother had gone through three years of almost having a father—and your mum through almost having a partner.

“I knew they were a tragedy together,” you continued. Jungkook didn’t know how to raise his eyes to look at you. “It was obvious that it wouldn’t last. I always knew it, and I always said that to my mum. But deep down, I still fucking hoped that they’d get together and it would work.”

You shook your head with a cold, unforgiving smile.

“How fucking stupid,” you concluded. “All hope does is bring misery and disappointment.”

“You were a child,” he said, his brows drawn together—sad and a little scared for your younger self. “You just wanted your parents to be together. You wanted a family.”

“Yeah,” you said with a sigh. Then again, “yeah.”

A minute passed without either of you speaking. Flight attendants crossed the aisles, offering complimentary snacks, but missing you—either by mistake or because there was no one in your seats on the plane. The two of you were somewhere else.

“I think,” you said once the commotion around you quieted, “that I wasn’t just angry at my mum for trying again and again, even though it never worked. Or for never losing hope that maybe they could be happy together. I think I was also angry at myself. Because I never truly lost hope, either.”

Jungkook hung his head, his lips tight in silent contemplation.

“So that’s what I’m afraid of,” you said. “I’m scared that this—us—will turn out to be like that. I’m scared that we’ll let wishful thinking take over, and we’ll get back together even though we shouldn’t. Even though it’s obvious that we won’t last.”

Right away, he wanted to insist that you would defy those odds. That there was nothing obvious about the two of you whatsoever. He wanted to promise all that and more, but it wasn’t right—not after you endured fifteen years of broken promises between two of the most important people in your life.

“You, um—” he started to say and coughed suddenly, caught off guard by his dry throat, “—you told me before that you admired your mum’s courage. F-for trying again.”

You handed him the overpriced airport water bottle that you had bought earlier. Jungkook nodded in gratitude.

“I did,” you confirmed. “And I do admire that about her. But I don’t have any of her courage.” You brought a shaky finger over your forehead, not quite scratching it. “I always say that I don’t believe in second chances, but the truth is, I think I do believe in them. I’m just debilitated by my fear that these second chances might not work out.”

Jungkook lowered the bottle. He’d emptied almost half of it in a single gulp, but an anxious undercurrent inside of him had absorbed it before he could feel any relief.

“Is that, um,” he tried to ask, “is that something you feel in general or—or because it’s us?”

You thought about that for half a second and shook your head.

“I don’t think I’ve ever been in a situation where a second chance held so much significance,” you said. “This isn’t a mistake that you can fix. It’s not a human error. It’s you and me. And it’s so—it’s final. There won’t be another chance for us, it’s now or never. And what if it’s never?”

You lowered your gaze, your fingers restless as they toyed with the sleeves of your black shirt. Every now and then, you’d lift your hand to your bare neck—you still hadn’t found any of your necklaces—as if seeking a distraction from the weight of the moment.

“Y-you are—you’re my—” you tried and couldn’t. Finally, you looked at him, and the words you couldn’t voice were right there, shimmering uncertainly in his dark eyes. “You’re my first thought in the morning and the last one at night. I don’t think my heart could take it if I started to have hope for us again, but we didn’t work out in the end.”

Jungkook felt his heart trip over several beats—

Stumble down his ribs—

Crash into his stomach—

Roll around the hollow cavities somewhere at the very bottom—

Rise suddenly, all the way back to his chest—

Expand—

And explode, it seemed. In a flash of light so vivid and intense that for a minute or two, his blood stopped running and he survived on nothing but the words you’d just said.

“And so that’s what I meant,” you finished, and he struggled to hear your next words over the loud pounding in his chest. “If I stay here and we don’t get back together—or we do, but not for long—then what? We see each other every day, we try to act like nothing’s wrong, we learn how to go back to being professional, and then four years later, you make another bet?”

Jungkook found the end of your sentence so utterly unexpected that he wasn’t sure if he had even heard you correctly. His response was half of a gasp and a fractured “I—” before you cut him off.

“I’m joking,” you said with a gentle smile—one that managed to feel both, very fitting and completely out of place in this situation. “That’s—well, that is why I think it’d be more reasonable for me to leave. That way, I think, we could figure it out without some dramatic, tragic consequences in case it, uh—in case something goes wrong.”

“R-right,” he said. A warm haze settled on his face in a delicate shade of pink. It appeared almost soft to the touch. “I… I understand. I-I don’t—I don’t know if there’s anything I can say that would take that away. All of your fear.”

You swallowed and nodded. “Yeah. There might not be anything to say at all.”

Jungkook hurriedly ran his tongue over his lips. He wasn’t thinking about you leaving right now. He was thinking about you staying and fighting through it.

He wanted to say something more, but he didn’t think he could mend these particular wounds in your heart. They ran deeper than his love could reach.

It wasn’t him that you should have talked to about this. It wasn’t him that could help you reach an agreement—or, at least, an understanding—with your own self.

“You should talk to your mum,” he said.

You looked up from the floor of the plane, surprised. “What?”

“Talk to her,” he repeated. “Just to hear what she thinks about everything. To hear her reasoning. To understand why she made the choices that she did. I think that would be good for you both.”

Your surprise deepened and gained an edge. You looked alarmed, as if the notion that a caregiver could ease your hurt rather than deepen it was new and foreign.

“I’ve—we’ve never—my mum and I have only talked about her relationship with my dad maybe once in our whole lives,” you said. “I have never even talked to her about my own relationship. You know I haven’t.”

He nodded solemnly. “I have, though.”

“What?” you asked. There was a ringing in your ears. “You have—you’ve talked to—to my mum? About—”

“I’m sure she’ll tell you everything.”

For a good minute, you watched him with an expression that held more questions than possible ways of asking them.

“I—I’m very confused right now,” you managed.

He nodded again, understanding, but still not offering any explanations.

He’d told you most of everything, really—he’d called those bits of the story “Haunting” and “Cursed.” But the rest of it had to be something you pieced together on your own.

For a long time, he had imagined this to be something that would hit you years later, perhaps when you would accidentally hear an old Rated Riot song. You’d think no, it can’t be, and you’d rush home. You’d pull out the albums, the track lists, and the lyrics.

And you’d know.

These conversations with your mum were his far side of the moon—invisible, but still present, still heavy.

These conversations were his thoughts and hopes and countless fears.

They were everything he brought to Rated Riot and everything he expressed in the recording booth, in Namjoon’s studio, and on stage.

They were his past and his present, and someone else’s future.

They were him without you, but still searching for you every morning when he woke up.

They were you, you, you.

Everything he’d ever talked to your mum about had been his songs. And all his songs had always been a tale about you—in every banal, every impossible narrative he could find within himself.

They were about seeing you and growing wings.

About kissing you and coming home.

About losing you and bleeding out.

About forever and five minutes that don’t mean anything once they’re over.

“I’m sorry,” he said, not capable of much else. “I needed her help with something. I didn’t really tell her anything, uh, directly, so to speak. But she—she knows. She’ll tell you everything. It’s just, um—you have to talk to her, too. You have to tell her what you told me.”

Airplanes, you realised suddenly, made it very easy to force yourself to stop running away. There was nowhere to escape—you could see the clouds reflected in his eyes and you were already falling in them anyway.

“I’ll talk to her,” you said.

Jungkook gave you a small nod and scratched his knee absentmindedly.

“I want you to stay,” he stated. “With the band. It’s—it’s selfish, but it’s the truth. I’ve always tried to encourage you to stop thinking so much a-and just do what you wanted, and this—this is what you want, despite your fear. You want to stay.”

You looked at him with a forlorn expression and he felt his hands twitch at his sides.

“But what will we do?” you asked.

“We’ll figure it out,” he promised. “I mean, we’ve gotten this far, right? So, give us a chance. We’re not completely hopeless. We can... talk our way through it all, step by step.”

You’ve talked your way through a lot and you have gotten this far, that was true. Even if the journey hadn’t been pleasant.

Seokjin had told you earlier today that as long as you stayed with the band, no one would care about what happened next. And, really, no matter how you looked at it, this was what it all boiled down to: it was just you.

Only you—afraid of what others will say, afraid of getting hurt and hurting him again, afraid of doing too much, and afraid of not doing enough.

“I’m—” you tried, “w-we don’t know what will happen. That’s why I’m—”

“I know,” he said. “And you’re right. We don’t know what will happen. That’s fucking terrifying. I’m scared, too.”

He did look a little scared, but he licked his lips and successfully collected himself.

The two of you were so close to meeting in the middle and taking that first step together—just a little more strain between your shaking, outstretched hands.

“And I-I know that the bet is another thing that—that might make it harder for you to believe that we can—that we can work it out,” he added, spinning his ring around his finger twice more. “But I want you to know that it—the bet was a fucked up thing to do. But it gave me a reason to talk to you about everything that I already wanted to talk to you about. I’m—even without the bet, I would have approached you, eventually. It just—I was fucking scared, so it might have taken me longer.”

It wasn’t just you.

Fear was in the epicentre of everything you were saying to each other. It was like the wind in every city you visited on this tour—inescapable, uncontrollable, persistent.

He was afraid, too—of trying and failing. Afraid of getting his heart broken and breaking yours. Afraid of never finding the forever that he desperately wanted with you.

“My point is,” Jungkook finished, “I think this is inevitable, because—well, let’s be honest,” he chuckled softly, trying to lessen the gravity of his confession, “all I’d ever wanted in my entire fucked-up life was you.”

Your breath trembled.

Something very deep inside of you wanted you to believe that inevitability was meant for the two of you, too.

“It’s been four years, though,” you said with a faint shake of your head. “What if it takes us another four to find a way to make this work?”

“It—well, I don’t really care how long it takes, to be honest,” he said. “I’m going to die yours.”

He said that and your heart stopped beating for a moment to listen.

To wait.

To make one thing very clear for you: you would never survive losing him again.

And you were scared—completely petrified—to find yourself in a situation where losing him was possible. Where it was likely.

Jungkook saw it on your face. He saw everything—the anguish, the pain, the doubt, the fear.

But he felt a little exhilarated to find the fight in your eyes, too. This fight was the reason you were talking to him about things that you’ve never talked about. It was the reason you were here.

“We’ll decide everything else when the idea of—of trying again doesn’t scare you so much anymore,” he said, keeping his voice steady. “When you hear your mum’s point of view, and you can make a, uh—an informed decision.”

He noted that there was something softer in your eyes when you looked at him again, but he could still discern the lingering edges of doubt.

“You think that’ll help me make an informed decision?” you asked, touched by his choice of words.

“I hope it will,” he replied. “But we can work it all out, either way. I just think you need to talk to her. It’s been so long.”

“Right. It has been.” You clasped your hands around your neck and tucked your chin between your palms. “It—it probably won’t be an easy conversation, though.”

“Nor will it be short, I imagine.”

“Hmm. Probably not.”

He sensed the growing distance between you as your eyes ran over the back of the seat in front of you. He knew you well enough to understand what you were doing: you were mapping out the rest of your story in your head.

He didn’t like that. Your stories rarely had happy endings.

“You don’t—don’t start planning it ahead, though,” he said hastily—before you reached the unhappily ever after in your mind. “It’ll be late when we land in London. You need to sleep. Talk to her after that. When you—when you’re not working. We can wait. We have time.”

Finally, you allowed your gazes to meet again—and to linger a little longer this time.

You took a moment to note that, despite knowing Jungkook for so long, every time you looked at him, you still needed a minute to will yourself to keep breathing. You remembered thinking, after your first few dates, if that would ever go away—logically, it should have.

But you watched him now, seven years since you’ve met, and the beating of your heart still felt backwards.

I’m going to die yours

I’m going to die—

“Okay,” you finally said. “I’ll call her as soon as possible.”

He nodded twice and closed his eyes for a brief respite—but hesitated, suddenly, before opening them again.

He wondered, for a suspended moment, what it would mean for you—this ‘as soon as possible.’

Then he looked at you and decided to tell you what he wanted it to mean.

“Before that happens, though—before you talk to her, I mean—I-I want to still be able to see you,” he said and did so assertively, using the phrase I want, but really meaning, I must. “I don’t want to not talk to you.”

You felt your frosty expression crumble effortlessly into a soft smile.

“We’ve agreed to a truce, right?” you said easily. Lightly.

His heart soared.

He was smiling, too, but with caution—his lips were pressed together as he bit into his lip ring to contain his smile to a level that he thought appropriate.

His shining eyes gave him away, however, and you wondered—the thought sudden and overwhelming—if there was a point in your life when you weren’t in love with him when he smiled.

“Let’s try a friendship,” he proposed.

“Oh—” Your smile abruptly turned into laughter as you remembered trying this once before. It had lasted for about two days. “You know we can’t be friends. We don’t know how.”

The gentle cadence of your laughter made him weightless.

“What are you talking about?” he teased—so high that he was certain the flight attendants were going to ask him to take it down a notch because it was dangerous to float on the ceiling in the middle of a flight. “We can be whatever the fuck we want to be.”

Your laughter grew bolder, strengthened by the relief that you’ve had this conversation, that you’ve decided on your next steps, however uncertain they were—and his smile spread.

You could see him beaming through your half-closed eyes, and there was absolutely nothing—no matter how big or small, significant or not at all—that you wouldn’t have done for him when he looked like that, and no amount of fear could have stopped you.

He'd burn down half of Europe for you, Seokjin had said.

You were worried you’d burn all of it for him.

“Honestly,” you said, “we’re such a mess that I have nothing else to say. Sure. Let’s try being friends again. Why not?”

“For the time being?” Jungkook asked. There was a tentative glint in his eyes. “Until we figure out if—until we decide what we’re going to do with us?”

It was very considerate of him to say ‘we’ here, when you knew that you were the one who needed to get it together in the end.

“For the time being,” you confirmed.

“And you’ll stay?” he asked once more. “With Rated Riot?”

Last night, he had told you he was letting you go, and you needed to hear it—not just to see how much he’s grown, but to fully understand yourself. To stop jumping from possibility to possibility. To accept that it was okay to do what you wanted sometimes.

The past few days were like flipping a coin and realising, while it was mid-air, which side you were hoping it would land on.

“I’ll stay.”

Jungkook thought that this flight was going to be the most thrilling part of his day. But a miracle happened as soon as the plane touched down in London.

His grandmother called him.

It wasn’t an accident like he had initially assumed when he saw her name on his phone. She called because she missed her favourite grandson and wanted to wish him good luck at his concert (and chastise him a little for not wearing “enough clothing” on stage).

Jungkook wasn’t sure if the tears in his eyes were because she’d remembered who he was, remembered what he did for a living, because she’d called, or because she’d confirmed his long-held suspicion that he was her favourite grandson.

Perhaps, and most likely, it was all of these things.

He was so excited that he stared at his phone even after the call had ended, ignoring the influx of more unintelligible, frantic messages from the same unknown number. He probably would have spent the rest of the night fixated on the screen if his battery hadn’t run out by the time everyone settled in the hotel.

At that point, there was nothing Jungkook wanted more than to tell you about the fifteen-minute phone call. However, he couldn’t call or text with his phone off—and waiting for ten minutes until he found the charger in his suitcase seemed like half of an eternity.

Unaware of the lateness of the hour, he lingered outside the hotel, thinking of a plan.

In the end, he decided he didn’t want to draw more attention to your friendship—he hiccupped on the word even in his thoughts—and approached the decorative garden at the front entrance. Ficus plants (artificial, as it turned out) rested in a bed of pebbles (real, for some reason) and Jungkook grabbed a handful of those before heading back to the south wing of the hotel.

He counted down the windows until he identified yours, then took half a dozen steps back from the wall and tossed a pebble at your window. It hit the glass with a gentle thud and dropped onto the grass four floors below.

Jungkook waited for a minute—or what felt like a minute—and tossed another one, making this one bounce against your windowsill before it slipped into your room through the crack of the open window.

He waited again and, finally, your curtains fluttered. A moment later, he saw your puzzled face as you opened the window and covered your squinting eyes with your hand, peering down into the darkness.

“Jungkook?” you called out. “What—what the fuck are you doing?”

“Trying to get your attention!” he shouted with an elated lilt in his voice.

You picked up the pebble from the windowsill and lifted it. He couldn’t see it very well from the ground, but he could see your confused expression.

“By throwing rocks at my window?”

“Yeah!”

“How—are you—for what—”

You stopped. There wasn’t a singular question you wanted to ask, because nothing about what he was doing made any sense whatsoever.

You leaned over the windowsill to get a better look at him, but it didn’t help much. The light from your hotel room made it difficult to discern his expression in the pitch-black night. And the garden lights adorning the exterior of the hotel only highlighted his white sneakers.

“I’m sure there were a lot of steps you could have taken before you had to resort to this,” you shouted into the night. “Most people text. Or knock on the door.”

“My phone’s dead,” he explained, lifting a black block that you assumed was the dead phone. “And I didn’t want anyone to see me going into your room. Can you come down here?”

“Wh—hold on a second.” You retreated into the room to put on a robe over the t-shirt you had worn to bed. The night wind felt a little less frigid when you leaned out of the window again. “Can you just come up here? It’s nearly six in the morning, no one will see—”

“Come on, we finally have a few days off!” he shouted, implying, clearly, that you’d have time to catch up on sleep later. After days of him forcing you to rest, this was very unusual—but, really, quite welcome.

You realised that something important must have happened for him to do this. However, his buoyant voice—and this whole situation in general—also made you wonder if he was drunk.

“I meant that it’s cold outside,” you said. “Wouldn’t it be warmer to—”

“I can—it’s not that bad,” he ended up saying after quickly surmising that his offer to warm you might lead to you throwing that same pebble right at his forehead. “Please?”

You were well aware that this could go on for a while, and it probably wouldn’t be long before your Romeo-and-Juliet-esque conversation attracted the attention of the hotel staff, who would politely ask you to find a different accommodation. The manager already didn’t seem especially pleased when he found out that a rock band would be staying at his hotel.

“Alright. I’m coming down,” you said. “Put the rocks back where you found them.”

He snickered and watched you close the window, disappearing inside of your room.

By the time he returned the remaining pebbles back to the garden, the sky was already beginning to paint itself red. The clouds obscured the rising sun, but Jungkook turned his head just in time to see you walk through the hotel door, and he felt like it was the middle of the day already.

“What’s going on?” you asked, a little concerned about the size of the grin on his face.

“My grandma called me,” he said. “She’s having a good day. She remembered me.”

“Oh, my God!” you gasped. All of your irritation about leaving your warm hotel room at this hour vanished in an instant. “That’s great news! Did you talk to her?”

“Yeah!” He nodded, nearly laughing in pure, beautiful euphoria. “The whole call, she was okay. Even scolded me for breaking the glass on her favourite picture frame when I came to say goodbye to her on the last night before the tour.”

You laughed, infected with his bright mood. “Jungkook, that’s—that’s fantastic. I’m so—”

Instinctively, he pulled you to him by wrapping his arms around your waist. For just a moment, he tightened his embrace and lifted you up slightly, laughing breathlessly when you gasped in surprise.

“I know,” he murmured into your neck as he lowered you to the ground. “I still can’t believe she really called.”

He held you close to him with one hand around your waist, and another one on the back of your neck—and you were stunned for a split-second. Then finally, muscle memory roused you, and you wrapped your arms around his neck, resting the side of your head against his.

“I’m—I’m so happy to hear that,” you whispered, feeling his breath on your shoulder and the goosebumps that rose on your skin as a result.

“I am, too.” He slowly pulled his head back to look at you, and the sight of the smile on his face was enough to pierce your heart with something that you could never remove. “You’re the first person I wanted to tell this to.”

Wordlessly, you pulled him back into a hug. You could feel the stretch of his cheeks against yours as his smile widened, and you realised you’d never want to run away from this. You’d always want to stay.

You were going to stay.

No. That wasn’t right.

You wouldn’t just stay with Rated Riot, determined to destroy every ounce of your fear for him. You’d have mopped up whole oceans for him. Captured shooting stars and stuffed them into jars. Flooded the entire world with an endless sea.

You’d have done anything to have him here like this: smiling so much that he could barely speak while his chest thud-thud-thudded against yours.

You felt so much of it—this vast love that refused to die no matter how much it was beaten—that you didn’t know what to do with it all.

A minute later, you pulled back slightly—a little dizzy from the intense whirlwinds inside your chest.

“T-thank you,” you stammered. “For telling me. I’m really—I’m so happy for you.”

His hands lingered on your waist, extending the moment to the very end.

“Thank you,” he replied, taking a reluctant step back. “She, um—she asked me to say hi to you. You know, from her.”

You were surprised that she remembered you—and brought you up!—and your smile returned, encouraged by the bashful look in his eyes when he said this.

“Give her my best the next time you talk to her,” you said.

“I will.” He nodded eagerly, then slowed down. “Although, I, uh—well—I don’t know when that’ll be.”

“That’s okay,” you replied quickly, not wanting to lose the lightness of the moment so soon. “The important thing is that she’s having a good day today. And she called you!”

You raised your voice at the end of the sentence, and it was enough to rekindle his excitement.

“She did!” he sang. “She said I was her favourite grandson, by the way. So I was right.”

“Oh—hmm.” You remembered pretending to argue with him about this in Stockholm and couldn’t help yourself. “Well, alright. I guess that makes sense. Remember that stray orange cat that she used to feed every night? Reginald?”

“Reggie,” he said, grinning. The cat was one of the first things his grandmother mentioned when she called tonight; it had stopped coming to see her, but continued to take up a large place in her heart. “What’s he got to do with this?”

“Well, I mean, she loved him so much, even though he scratched her every time she got too close,” you explained. “Clearly, she always had a soft spot for troublemakers.”

“Okay, now,”—he clicked his tongue—“my grandma did actually love that cat a lot, so I’ll take that as a compliment.”

You snickered and he laughed, too, and for a moment, he thought his chest might have exploded if he felt any happier than he did right now.

Then he noticed you clutching your robe closer to your body. Whatever you’d worn underneath wasn’t enough to keep you warm now that the initial excitement slowly began to fade.

“Do you, uh… want to go back inside?” he asked, gesturing at the exposed skin of your wrists. “You’re shivering.”

You looked down at your hands. “I’m okay. But maybe we could sit?”

You turned to look around. There was a bench right at the edge of the garden, next to a bronze-coloured flowerpot that was placed in the pebbles Jungkook had used to “get your attention”.

“Yeah,” he agreed.

You shivered all over again when he sat down next to you, and the bench turned out to be smaller than it had appeared. You could feel every bounce of his restless legs.

“So,” you said, “what did you two talk about?”

He brightened at your question, and suddenly, you didn’t think he was anywhere near close enough.

“Oh, so many things,” he said. “She told me she’d like to see us perform. Can we make that happen when we go back?”

“Absolutely,” you promised.

“Yeah?” His smile widened and his bouncing increased. “She’ll probably hate it. Mosh pits aren’t her thing.”

“We’ll put her in the balcony seats,” you suggested. This conversation felt so ordinary that it was hard to imagine you could be talking to him about anything else. “She’ll love every second of watching you on stage.”

“She said she saw pictures from the tour,” he added, giddy. “My cousins showed her Maggie’s Instagram profile.”

“Did she see your pirate cosplay?”

Jungkook displayed a remarkable resilience to the pirate jokes after that first concert—you and Jimin suspected that the response from the audience played a big part in his newfound immunity—and he chuckled at it now.

“She did,” he said. “She said I reminded her of Kurt Russell in Escape from New York.”

You pulled back a little to get a better look at him, even though he no longer needed to wear the eye patch. Most of the discolouration around his eye had already faded and you’d managed to cover up the scratches with a few smaller, skin-coloured adhesive pads.

“Well, shit,” you said. “Maybe I do kind of see the resemblance. You’ve got the hair.”

“I don’t know who that is,” he admitted.

You widened your eyes. “Jungkook. You don’t know Snake Plissken?”

“No, but my grandma said all her friends had a crush on him after the film came out,” he said. “Except for my grandma, of course. She insists she only ever had eyes for my grandpa.”

You both chuckled at this with a childlike glee—the thought of a love that spanned decades felt exhilarating and very possible as the sky awakened above you.

“My mum liked Kurt Russell, too, after the film,” you said. “And she was nine at the time. She snuck into the theatre with her brother and his friends.”

Jungkook inclined his head thoughtfully. “Maybe that guy’s not so bad, then.”

“He’s a classic,” you corrected. “But your taste in films isn’t.”

“That’s actually exactly what my grandma said,” he remembered. “She told me not to come home until I watched it.”

You could hear his grandmother saying this exact thing to him and felt yourself smile again.

“I think you’d love it if you watched it,” you said. “So, it’s not much of a threat.”

“Really?” He looked at you, but only for a fraction of a moment. “Would you—I mean, it’d be cool if we could—”

You knew what he was asking. And your response—like most of everything else tonight—came as a reflex. “I’m sure we can rent it on Amazon.”

“Okay,” he said, his shoulders slumping against yours in visible relief. “That—I’d like that.”

Unwelcome, the raw breeze of the late hour caught up with you, and you felt your body shudder involuntarily once more. Determined to ignore the chill, you opened your mouth to continue the conversation, but Jungkook suddenly leaned forwards.

“Here,” he said, slipping out of his dark flannel. “Put this on. It’s not much, but—”

“No, no—” you tried, but he drew closer to drape the flannel over your shoulders. “You’ll catch a cold.”

“I’ll be fine,” he insisted, pulling back. To further reduce the significance of the gesture, he added, “it’s what friends do. And I’m warm anyway.”

You clutched the collar of the flannel tighter to prevent it from sliding off. Or just to have something to do with your hands. “Well—thanks, friend.”

A powerful waft of his cologne permeated your senses, and you closed your eyes, preserving the refreshing blend of woody and citrus notes that already took up a significant amount of space in your memory.

Every time you inhaled, his scent mixed with a different moment from your life—and it all flooded your mind in an unstoppable sequence.

Meeting Jungkook—

Kissing him for the first time on that rainy night in the park—

Hugging him hello every morning before class—

Borrowing his clothes when you stayed at his dorm—

Losing your mind when you found yourself alone and his scent returned to you, uninvited.

Jungkook appeared to be sharing your memories in real time as he inhaled sharply and tapped his fingers against his shaky thighs.

“Friends,” he said, swallowing, “probably don’t kiss each other.”

His words ignited a fire in the pit of your stomach without any matches.

You glanced at him from the corner of your eye. “Yeah, uh—t-they probably don’t.”

“Hmm. Right.”

“As your friend,” you said, sitting up straighter and letting his flannel settle around your shoulders while you lowered your hands to the wooden bench underneath you, “I’m pointing out that you’re on a high because your grandma called. That’s why you’re thinking about—”

“I’m on a high because I’m with you,” he stated. “My friend.”

The fire inside you spread rapidly, wildly, uncontrollably.

The way you were starting to lose feeling in your fingers from gripping the bench so tightly, yet you refused to let go of it, should have probably been studied scientifically.

“Well, then,” you said, “let’s look at it this way: have you ever kissed friends before? Sid maybe?”

Jungkook snorted. “God forbid.”

“Minjun, then?”

“No,” he said. “Do you think I should?”

You snickered. “No. But if we’re friends, too, then we probably shouldn’t do that, either.”

He looked at you, his lips puckered in thought. Unconsciously, you had started to scrape at the dark paint of the bench.

You hadn’t meant a word of what you’d said. He suspected as much.

“Probably not,” he agreed. “But we’re such a mess, though, right?”

The echo of your own words on the plane brought a smile to your face again—a reaction more rooted in easing the sudden surge of anticipation rather than genuine amusement.

“Yeah,” you said quietly. “We’re such a mess.”

Jungkook felt a little afraid, which was something that he always felt when the world around him blurred, and he found himself incapable of looking away from your lips.

It was dangerous, this tunnel vision. This singular focus. This impossible, magnetic pull that defied all reason, that made the whole universe tremble with a silent—

He leaned closer.

For a fleeting moment, the space between you was filled with nothing but your echoing heartbeats and silent memories.

For a fleeting moment, time itself held its breath.

You remembered Oslo and the way Jungkook had pulled away. You remembered how worried you were, how horrified—he was drunk, and he’d pulled away. He’d done the rational thing.

Funny thing, rationality.

You thought you were perfectly rational when you closed the remaining distance and your lips brushed against his—hesitant, uncertain, tender. A permission, a question, and his unequivocal death, all in one.

Jungkook inhaled—as if checking if he was alive or just pretending to be—and reached up to touch your cheek. He pulled you closer and stole the remnants of your breath with his kiss.

It was fair, he thought. You had stolen his entire soul.

The touch of your lips lasted for less than a minute—not nearly enough time for the trees around you to exhale in clandestine relief—but the softness of his mouth, the slow, intoxicating smacking of your lips against his, and the faint notes of mint on his tongue did irreparable damage to your pulse.

He stole that too, he supposed, because when he pulled away, his heart seemed to beat with enough strength to support the lives of half the population.

“Do friends discuss what it means if they kiss?” he asked, winded. His chest touched yours every time it rose in an attempt to recover.

Your laughter was breathless, too. “I’m thinking no.”

“I like what you’re thinking.”

Something very tranquil and very happy was inscribed into the contours of your features.

Soft red feathers spread across the sky above you as the city slowly stirred awake.

For the first time in a long time, everything felt like it was supposed to.

“I have a free day tomorrow,” you said. “Well, today.”

Jungkook was a bit puzzled by the shift in conversation but went along with it nonetheless. “Yeah?”

“Mhmm. The girls and I made plans, but I’m, uh—I’m going to call my mum before I go. I set an alarm for it and everything,” you said with a self-conscious chuckle. “I’m going to talk to her.”

“Oh.” He was shaking a little, he realised. He hoped you wouldn’t notice it and decide to give him his flannel back. “Well, that—that’s good. You should do that.”

You nodded, lowering your gaze to the grass and the pebbles below. “Yeah.”

“I’m going to kiss you again,” he decided. “For good luck.”

Your surprised smile overshadowed everything else he wanted to tell you.

“Oh,” you said. “Is that what friends do?”

“Yes,” he replied. “You didn’t know? It can’t be just one kiss, that’s bad luck.”

“Actually, I heard even numbers are bad luck.”

He gasped theatrically. “Oh, but that’s terrible! I’ll have to kiss you three times, then. To be safe.”

You smiled and shook your head. He died a little then, because everything was here, just like in his worst nightmares and his favourite daydreams: your scent, your eyes, your smile. All of you.

“You’re always such an idiot,” you said with so much affection that the wind crept away miserably, defeated by the warmth in Jungkook’s gaze when he looked at you. When he felt your hand on the side of his face—gentle and careful so as not to touch the healing bruises on his cheek.

“Hmm.” He wasn’t sure if he’d ever remember how to breathe again. “You said you love me, though.”

“I do,” you said, beaming, as you ran the tips of your fingers over the edges of his wolf cut. “It’s a burden I have to live with.”

He shivered from your touch and leaned in—impatient, all of a sudden. His lips met yours with a soft, rehearsed touch, and he thought he died all over again when you pulled him closer.

Your heart brought back the memories of sensations that you’ve tried to bury; it revived them and set them loose in your chest when you kissed him back and felt the smile on his lips.

Your heart threatened to quit it, to burst into flames and take you down with it when you felt his tongue slowly glide over your lower lip.

Your heart settled right against his when you parted your lips. When you felt his warm breath mingle with yours. When you held onto him with everything you were feeling, and he held onto you.

He kissed you in every way that a friend wasn’t supposed to, and groaned softly when he touched the back of your neck and felt the relentless roughness of goosebumps under his fingertips. Your body reflected everything he was feeling.

Every time your lips met—gentle and feverish—every time he pulled you closer—frantic and heated—every time you inhaled when he exhaled—sharp and eager—you were setting fire to something that once was and building something new in its place.

There seemed to be small fragments of a foreign nature inside of you both—fragments that had danced with each other long before your first kiss and would continue the lively, eternal swaying for years and years after your last.

Maybe it was dust from two neighbouring stars, drawn together by a force stronger than them, but forced to crash somewhere on earth and settle and quiver and wake up inside of you both.

Or maybe it was something less grand. Maybe it was just luck. Just coincidence.

“See,” you whispered, pulling back. “I told you we don’t know how to be friends.”

“I don’t know what you mean,” he replied, kissing the corner of your lips. The sparks inside him were fierce and relentless when you smiled in response. “I think friends can decide what sort of friends they want to be.”

“What sort of friends are we going to be, then?”

“This sort.”

You could see the northern lights and the tails of comets in his eyes before he leaned in to kiss you again. You could taste the longing for the Milky Way and the whispers of timeless meteors on his tongue.

And it all solidified this for you: the two of you were not luck and not coincidence.

You were something much more.

chapter title credits: bring me the horizon, “follow you”

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