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pembebirkrizantem · 2 months

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Suskunluklar biriktiriyorum bugünlerde...

Kapı kapı büyüyen ve anlatamadıkça insanın omzunda tıpkı ağır taşlar misali biriken suskunluklar...

Bir cümleyle yüreğimden akıp gidecek kadar hafif konuşacak olsam okyanuslar bile yetmeyecek sanki derinliğine. Ben yine de suskunluğa talibim. İçimde kendimle öylesine doluyum kı buna bir de sonsuz bir yalnızlık eklenince hiçbir şeyin gitmesini istemiyorum. Tek bir kelimenin, tek bir düşüncenin hatta tek bir zerrenin bile firarını kaldıramayacak kadar takatsizim...

Yollar yabancı, taşlar soğuk ve insanlar yine bildiğimiz gibiyken ben yalnızca kendi kendime yetme telaşesindeyim.

Bugün karnım tok mu?

Ellerim üşümüyor mu?

Ve sevdiklerim yanımda mı?

İşte o zaman diyorum ki çok bir şeye gerek yokmuş aslında. Aşk beni bulmasa da varsın zenginlik kapımı çalmasa da ve ben dipsiz bir suskunluğa bürünsem de mutluyum.

Sonuçta insan yağmuru izleyebiliyor ve annesine hala gülümseyebiliyorsa ne gerek var derde tasaya değil mi?

Güneşin doğuşuna ve batışına şahit olan gözler aşkına, ay ışığının nuruyla yıkanan aşıklar hürmetine ve masum bir bebeğin ilk tebessümü niyetine, birgün umudum tükenecek olsa da ben mutlu ayrılacağım bu dünyadan.

Ruhumdaki suskunluklar ve sevdiklerimin suretiyle silinip gideceğim ama ben gitsem de mutluluğum hep baki kalacak.

Tıpkı en sevdiğin şarkıyı bağıra çağıra söylerken dudaklarında bıraktığı o tatlı his gibi. Belki şarkının başı ve sonu unutulacak ama nakaratının güzelliği üzerinden ne kadar zaman geçerse geçsin hafızamdan silinmeyecek.

Silinip gidecek onca şeye inat...

Selam ve Dua ile.

#günlük #günlüğümden #virgülle ayrılmış #tumblr postları #tumblr sözleri #postlarım #writters on tumblr #aşk sözleri #tumblr şiir #yazılı postlar #poetry of tumblr

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somos-deseos · 8 months

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A partir de 1935, Albert Camus (1913-1960) llevó un irregular diario de trabajo en el que tenían cabida apuntes de muy diversa índole: Proyectos de novelas y piezas teatrales, reflexiones filosóficas y morales, notas de viajes y de lectura, descripciones de paisajes, citas literarias, conversaciones escuchadas en la calle, esbozos de diálogos dramáticos, esquemas argumentales, etc. El contenido de estos "Carnets" muestra la génesis de buena parte de la obra del Premio Nobel de Literatura de 1957 A través de fragmentos y desarrollos parciales y su estilo de trabajo, ilustra el clima intelectual, moral y político de la época y permite vislumbrar las claves más personales de su labor creadora.

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the-xolotl · 3 months

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Thundering Rain

Qí Yù | Rafayel x Reader

𝒮𝓊𝓂𝓂𝒶𝓇𝓎: You and Rafayel cozy up during a cold storm to enjoy each other’s company when you realize he got up for something but didn’t come back to cuddle you.

—• TAGS: Domestic fluff, kinda ooc Rafayel (? if you squint), no use of Y/N, use of the pet name my love, beta read (imagine that)

A thunderstorm had been raging outside for hours now and you are thankful, for once, about the harsh seasonal changes because not just did you enjoy the rain and the majestic flashing of light that occasionally lit up the otherwise dark gray sky, you didn’t have to go to work. You could enjoy a leisure day indoors, listening to the calming sound of the rain hitting the window and the deep thunder clapping after each rapid flash of light with a warm blanket and hot beverages.

It’s true you loved your job, loved the adrenaline of being a hunter, the thrill of battle, but it was nice to sit back and relax for a bit. And some reprieve was definitely due after these past few weeks, Linkon City had been seeing more and more Wanderers roaming inside the more civilian populated areas, your team along with some back ups had been dispatched as first responders almost every time; it’s been busy to say the least.

And Rafayel had definitely not appreciated your constant absence. You don’t blame him, you missed him too. Because your job wasn’t just turning monsters to dust and protecting innocent people; each attack meant a lot of paperwork, desk work, meetings. It meant time away from home and away from your already clingy, needy lover.

Who, speaking of, had suspiciously gotten up from cuddling you in the sofa and hadn’t come back.

The now cool spot behind you made you realize his absence. But as you were about to get up to look for the purple-head you heard his voice, “Stay where you are, how you are, for another 30 minutes…” Rafa trailed off.

He didn’t even ask politely yet you remained on your spot no questions asked and turned your head back to look outside the large, tall window that gave the perfect view to the backyard. “So that’s where you’ve been the whole time,” you chuckled softly, of course he was.

“Inspiration should never be wasted or ignored. The best master pieces ever created were in spontaneous bursts of creativity,” He stated as if it was the most honest to god truth. Yeah, alright.

Amused you simply retorted, “Is that a fact?”

“Most likely,” he shot back before taking a small pause, “Besides, you barely noticed after almost an entire hour I didn’t come back beside you.”

The last part sounded more begrudging, you didn’t have to look at him to know he’s pouting. You couldn’t help but giggle, “Yeah, my back was getting cold. That’s how I noticed you were still gone.” Rafa let out the most offended scoff, he didn’t even dignify with an answer.

The room falls silent again save for the rhythmic pattering of rain, it’s then you realize he’s actually concentrating and you can’t help the little leap your heart makes. “Are you painting me?”

“As I was coming back from the kitchen the scene and atmosphere looked perfect so I just had to capture it,” he explains, “I haven’t had the opportunity to play around with darker tones or paints in a while and I recently acquired some very high quality materials to produce stunning shades. Very rare finds, honestly.” The Lemurian continued on to explain how and where he’d manage to obtain them, of course pointedly mentioning that he needed something to do in your absence because it was just so so boring.

More than half an hour had past, that’s for sure, as you filled the time with more banter and teasing remarks.

“Rafa can I move now? I’m going to have neck pain and be stuck in this position forever if I don’t get up soon,” you whine loudly, “The painting won’t be needed to immortalize this moment then.” He only tsk’s at you, calling you over to see the painting.

“Holy shit you weren’t kidding, the pigments are so rich!” You know little to nothing about art, any scattered knowledge or artsy lingo has definitely come from listening to your boyfriend talk about art. You study the painting detail by detail, from top to bottom. He really does deserve the fame, not that you’re biased.

Rafayel smiles big like a satisfied cat (ironically) at your praise and expression of awe.

Though the more you steady the painting the more you realize the gloomy tempest going out outside was definitely not the focus of this piece like you had originally thought, despite the fact that the oversized window gave the perfect opportunity to capture it so.

Instead you realize most of the spotlight was you. Rafayel had clearly taken his time; each curve of your features was perfectly drawn and shaded, the way the light made light and dark contrasts against the little skin that was not covered by the quilt, the shine in your eyes that reflected the lighting that occasionally flashed and the hair that framed your face. The content of your expression clearly denoting how engrossed you’ve been on the weather outside, he even included the faintest curl of the corner of your lip. And you looked cozy as hell with the blanket all the way tucked up to your chest and your hands wrapped around the (then) steaming mug of coffee.

A heat crept up your cheeks and chest. Is this how he saw you? Is this what his eyes see when he looks at you? Truly? You must’ve had your thoughts written in your face because he breaks the long silence with in a soft voice, “You are the inspiration of the painting, my love,” circling back to one of his earlier comments. You turn to face him fully, meeting eyes as he was already looking at you, as soft smile that matched the softness of his voice spread across his lips.

“It’s going to be part of the next exhibit, on a very special spot.”

“I’m sorry what?” You lamely ask, astonished but still in a monotone.

Rafayel had the audacity to laugh in your face as he gave the cavas a few strokes with the brush to accentuate some shadows. “It’s not finished yet, of course. I will accept no less than perfection,” he says slowly, words as methodical as his painting technique, “Specially when it comes to you.”

If you weren’t blushing before you sure are now. You shove him gently when he takes the brush off the painting, attempting and failing to hide how much he managed to fluster you.

Another long pause passed, but this felt more intimate, watching him closely add some details, switch between different size brushes for finer details. Rafayel sure went into his own bubble when he worked, yet he is always somehow very aware of his surroundings. At least at the moment he was.

“Not a lot of people get the privilege to watch me like this, so up close, let alone live. Are you feeling how privileged you are?” The tone of playful arrogance brings you back and pops the bubble of comfortable silence. But it does make you giggle.

These little moments make you fall deeper in love with him.

⟢ A/N: feels kinda funny posting my writing for the first time in the internet tbh. i usually only write for my friends/myself so i hope you enjoy my lil rot. it’s been raining so much in my area it gives me a very cozy vibe.

—

⤷ dividers : cafekitsune ✰

#love and deepspace #rafayel #rafayel x reader #rafayel x you #qi yu x reader #qi yu #fanfic #writters on tumblr #fandom #domestic fluff #painting #oneshot #lnds #character x reader #romantic #romance #rain

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sa-sa-blogger · 5 months

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Nếu thực sự bạn không đủ củi để nấu sôi một ấm nước đầy, thì hãy bỏ bớt nước đi, và đừng cố gắng chạy đi kiếm củi nữa. Cũng như cuộc sống đôi khi quá mệt mỏi không đủ nghị lực để tiếp tục, thì bớt lại sự tham cầu ước vọng, bạn sẽ thấy tâm mình nhẹ nhõm hơn.

Thật ra, không phải lúc nào cố gắng cũng là tốt. Với những thứ phù hợp, cố gắng sẽ đem lại giá trị. Nhưng với những thứ không phù hợp, càng cố chấp thì càng đau lòng. Đôi khi phải chấp nhận rằng mình sai, mình thua, để giải thoát chính mình.

Đường đời vạn nẻo ngàn lối, nếu lối hiện tại không tốt không hạnh phúc, đừng do dự nữa, đã đến lúc phải thay đổi tất cả rồi... ✌️

📸 unknow

Retouch: Sa

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dcextremefan · 1 month

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The Writer - Gotham Knights Jason Todd x reader - Part 2

Warning: same as the part 1, by the way, read the last chapter and also use of remedies (do not repeat the same actions as the protagonist, go to see a specialist/doctor when you start to feel bad phisically or emotionally)

After the Red Hood saved you and you posted about it on your blog, you got tons of likes from thousand of people who lives in Gotham. You were laying in your bed moving your legs excitedly and then you received an email. An anonymous email.

Your smile faded and then you send a copy of an archive to this email and closed it, you started to feel your heartbeat go faster and a little bit of dizziness.

"God... for how long will I still do it?" you asked to yourself "what would father do?"

You get up of your bed and goes to the bathroom and looked at your reflection at the mirror, you opened the high balcony and you took a pill. A tear fell of your eye, but you quickly wiped it off with your hand. You grab your notebook and placed on your desk and you finally sleep.

Something you did not notice it's a vigilante who is watching you from afar. Red Hood watches you fall asleep and he enters through you apartment's window and starts inspecting everything.

"Belfry, I've entered into (Y/N)'s apartment" Red Hood informed quietly to not wake you up

"okay... that's kinda weird, I hope we'll never do it again. I don't want us to get reputation as a stalker" Tim has said

"Tim, don't worry. We are just investigating. And Jason, try to find at least some clues about (Y/N)'s life" Barbara demanded

"don't you think that's invasion of privacy?" Dick asked

"what Jason has said to us earlier got my attention. Why would some random thugs assault a normal civilian writter?" Barbara answered

"not just any writter. A very famous writter, maybe they were just after her money, after all she sells books" Tim suggested

"anyway, what did you find, Jason?" Dick asked

"nothing special, she loves drinking a lot of tea and... hmm" Jason stopped "she uses remedies to control anxiety"

"have you checked in her computer?" Barbara asked

Jason went to see in your computer, but it needs password, he buffed

"belfry, her computer needs password" Jason informed

"the one who can discover passwords so easily is Babs" Dick informed

"unfortunately I cannot discover the password right now, but I had an idea. Tim, you with me?" Barbara asked

"you know it" Tim answered

Jason started to search more about you in your apartment and he finds a portrait of you inside of your locker, it's you in a graduation uniform with a woman who is older than you.

"I found a portrait of (Y/n) with a woman who might be her mother. Not only that, she is wearing the graduation uniform and it says 'Chemistry College'" Jason has informed

"wait what? No no no, she always put on her bio that she is graduated at Literature, how can she lie about something like that?" Tim asked surprised

"we'll find out" Jason said

TO BE CONTINUED...

#gotham knights #batman gotham knights #gk jason todd #gotham knights jason todd #red hood gotham knights #dc comics #jason todd x reader #canon x reader #female reader #self insert #jason todd x fem!reader #jason todd headcanon #jason todd gotham knights #fanfic #writters on tumblr

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07-induraj · 5 months

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I'm not gonna waste another beautiful flower,

On asking, if you love me or not,

'cause if you did you'd be here,

Not wandering around somewhere.

Written by 07-induraj

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mapsofinnerspace · 10 months

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Why? Because let’s be honest, there’s no ethical way to becoming a billionaire.

It’s not like people’s being cynical or jealous about their billions. No. It has nothing to do with that. The truth is that more often than not, those shitloads of money came from the worst and most evil sources one could ever imagine.

Billionaires are basically the ones behind all the worldwide networks of traffic and dark shit, one way or another. They’re the ones behind disparities and poverty, unemployment, poor life quality, hunger and sickness. They’re the ones behind wars and shitty economy models, deforestation, animal cruelty and extinction, global warming.. they’re the ones behind innocent beings’ deaths.

And still, they’ve got the fucking nerve to casually spend 250,000 USD on a totally unnecessary, touristic trip to a mass grave (courtesy of their already wealthy, evil ancestors, of course) at the bottom of the ocean.

Anyone who ever dares to spend such amount of money for a few hours long trip, knowing that the world is going down, is not a honest nor a valuable human being. Period.

So yes, the less people like them, the better. The earth does need to heal. And no, I cannot stand those who still defend the planet’s greatest poison. They evidently don’t have a single ounce of self reflection.

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pembebirkrizantem · 2 months

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Ruhumun boynuna geçen yağlı urgandan sesleniyorum insanlığa:

'Hayat öyle kısa ki gün gelecek her biriniz neden daha fazla gülmedim diye üzüleceksiniz en çok.'

-PembeBirKrizantem

#virgülle ayrılmış #tumblr sözleri #tumblr postları #sözler #postlarım #tumblr şiir #spotify #poetry of tumblr #aşk sözleri #writters on tumblr #poets on tumblr #cottage #lovers #photographers on tumblr #photography

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creepyjoker · 6 months

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What were my parents thinking? Shouting at me when I am an adult?

Do they think I don't care about me?

And if I really Don't,

what makes them think that screaming at me will enlighten me?

#writerscorner #writters on tumblr #female writers #writers on tumblr #writeblr #writing #writers and poets #spilled words #pretty words #beautiful words #words #original poem #dead poets society #poetic #poem #poetry #poems and quotes #parenting

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the-xolotl · 20 days

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Dusk Meets Dawn at Twilight

Lucifer x moth!OC, Vésper

A/N: Fun fact: Vésper means evening star in latin.

Summary: Lucifer finds himself in a very low, vulnerable point and self isolation is all he knows. However, his trusty assistant unintentionally prevents that (I suck at summaries. I’m sorry :’))

—• TAGS/CW/TW: Angst, hurt/comfort, angst with a happy ending, Lucifer struggling with very strong emotions, some use of non-verbal communication, crying, alludes to feather-picking, mentions of (angelic) blood, preening, Vésper isn’t good at emotions. but she’s emotionally intelligent enough, proof read, no heavy topics actually mentioned explicitly.

“Highness?” Vésper knocked tentatively at the door. Silence. She knocked again softly a couple times for good measure to make sure Lucifer hasn’t somehow not heard her. Still she was met with no answer, not a sound. Which is really odd even for his normal isolation habits, causing the moth demon to worry.

Vésper bit her bottom lip debating wether this really warranted going into the King’s quarters. Lucifer could go through bad periods of depression and bed-rotting, sure; days, weeks. But to not be seen for two entire weeks and none of the staff had spoken to him at all? Not even the work shop?

Vésper heard alarms in her head after one of the maids pointed out His Majesty’s bedroom doors were locked a few days ago. Immediately, she went to his door to find it locked just how the maid had said. Lucifer never did that, he’d avoid contact when he didn’t want it but he never locked doors or hide for this long without a word. The only thing that had kept her from trying to go in by force was that there was still shuffling heard from inside for a few days, which meant he was going about his room occasionally so understanding her King’s habits she let it be until today.

With a heavy sigh, she put her hand over the key-hole entrance reluctantly, “Your Highness, I’m coming in. I deeply apologize in advance,” she said in a raised voice ensuring he would at least be warned or be prompted to open the door willingly. After a beat of silence she concentrated a sphere of energy and bumped the lock of the door with it. Unfortunately she didn’t know any refined magic to make it smoother but she didn’t have a choice. The small blast that did minimal damage to the golden hinges while still doing the trick will have to do.

Prying the door open, just enough to take a peak inside, Vésper is greeted by darkness that her eyes quickly adjusted to. “Sir?” she tried again. Movement coming from the bed caught her eyes. She squinted at the big mass on the lavish bed, a groan followed. Quickly she entered just past the door and closing it behind her, “Sir, are you ok—“ her words cut off by a growl.

“Leave. Now,” She could recognize it’s Lucifer, despite how grovel it sounded. “I can’t do that, Majesty. You’ve been gone for two weeks,” she protests taking another step into the room. She looks around the room some more now that she could see better, realizing there’s not just an absolute mess and disarray but feathers everywhere. Red and white feathers littered across the room, even on whatever she can see of the messy bed.

A deep frown formed on her brow, about to speak again but was snapped out of her thoughts at Lucifer standing up from the bed, demonic form on full display, all 3 sets of wings spreading behind him making him look taller, puffing up to make him seem more intimidating.

“I said L̷̆͜Ȅ̴̃A̷̐̚V̵̛̈́Ḛ̵͐.̸̊̄ ̴̛̫W̴̕͝H̶̡͆Ö̶ Ǎ̮R̸E YOU TO DISOBEY YOUR ̸́́K̶͑I̓͑N̷̬̔G’S ORDERS?̵͕̈́” Lucifer lashes out, a stream a fire expanding towards the moth sinner making her tumble backwards and fall ass first. Screaming in terror she raised her arms to cover face, his outburst only missing her by a hair. She trembled in unbridled fear, eyes wide fixed on the floor not daring to look at him again.

He realized a little too late what he’d done, he tried retracting his arm back seeing his assistant in utter panic. “Shit! I’m- I’m sorry Vés I didn’t mean to—“ Lucifer stammered, his voice sounding more normal but with a shake and hints of remorse. He tried to help her up but Vésper involuntarily flinched and backed away, a small sob slipping past her lips.

“God damn it,” he whispers under his breath, taking steps back from his assistant and falling on to the floor bumping into his night stand on his way down. Lucifer groaned in frustration wrapping his wings around himself, “I’m sorry Vésper. I didn’t mean to lash out, I’m so sorry…” his voice shook with a dead tone, like he’s near tears. But she’s too shaken up to respond.

She chances a glance at him eying the feathery cocoon he’s turned himself into. She could see little trembles and shaking of his wings with each breath he took. Lucifer is clearly in a vulnerable state, once she didn’t know how to help and with the panic still present in her body it was hard to move, let alone want to get near him.

Lucifer made no more advance toward her, giving her a chance to regain her wits about her. Logically she knew he’d never hurt her but Vésper had also never seen him angry, not even his demonic form in the time she’s worked for him. It’s jarring, exactly what she expected the Devil to look like, the stuff of nightmares.

But she managed to regain composure again after a while with deep breathes distracting herself with the state of the chaotically dirty chambers. The more she looked the worse it got; not only feathers and broken belongings but specks of a smeared golden substance. Not abundantly so, but mostly on the floor at the foot of the bed and on the sheets. Small splotches she’d worry about it later.

Standing, her unsteady legs finally approach the ball of wings the King had turned himself into, “Sire…” she tried to coax sitting on her knees in front of the bundle, “It’s okay. I… I know you didn’t,” softly she spoke tryin to peek between the messy feathers. Another thing she noticed now that she is up close is that the golden liquid is on him. More specifically on his wings and tips of his finger tips.

Lucifer sat with his knees against his chest and face buried in his hands from what she could see from between the matted fluff. She sighed silently, “I’ll be here when you’re ready.”

He looked miserable and something in her hated seeing a typically goofy man like him in such a state. It made her chest tighten to see Lucifer so vulnerable and emotional, this is a different level that she’s never seen. Despite herself, a gentle hand rose hesitantly to rest atop one of the wings as a gesture of comfort.

When she felt the wing move under her touch she flinched back worried she’d crossed a line. The wing parted a bit exposing his face once again, “How did you manage to get in?” asking softly his wings dropped a bit around him.

Vésper shifted not wanting to tell him just yet, “We can worry about that later, Your Majesty,” her eyes taking in his disheveled appearance, “I care more about your well being. Are you okay? Is there anything I can assist you with? It’s been weeks, we’re all worried about you, Sir.” Lucifer adverts his glassy eyes in both shame and guilt.

Another long stretch of silence befell them. Lucifer felt weak, a little humiliated at being seen in a vulnerable position, he couldn’t bring himself to speak or meet her eyes. He really hoped she’d understand, knowing it’s a little selfish to expect her to just know. He opened up his wings a bit more and stretched out a hand for her to take not really looking at her still. Only when his gaze flicked down to his palm signaling to take it, she got the hint the second time he did it.

His hand is oddly warm, she didn’t really have expectations but it’s still surprising angelic beings have body warmth. Deep inside she wished she knew what to do, Vésper herself isn’t great at expressing her own feelings let alone deal with them from others. So she thinks back to the times her Mother would comfort her as a child, holding Vésper to her chest and knowing just what to say to ease the baby in her motherly instincts. Unfortunately she isn’t as good as her Mother with these kinds of things.

Is that even what he needed? Everyone needs a little kindness, her Mother would often tell her, everyone needs a hand to hold. The moth sinner’s thumb gently caresses at his knuckles, holding his hand delicately. This goes beyond professional boundaries, but Vésper gets the sense he’s dealing with much more than seasonal depression or just a down period. For now she’d allow the lines of professionalism to blur for the sake of her King.

It seemed to be the right thing to do because eventually Lucifer had unwrapped himself from his wings, now letting them rest at ease and his legs are less tucked against him.

Even though it feels like it’s been hours by now, at best an actual hour had passed, but despite that the scare Lucifer gave her has now dissipated, watching his inner turmoil pass over his features and voided eyes is still nagging at her. He felt so far away, his eyes not particularly focused on anything, lost in who knows how many different thoughts and emotions. Closed off. Vésper debated on a couple thoughts, words she could say to make him feel better.

She gnawed at her bottom lip with the words at the tip of her tongue eyes fixed on the hand she held. The professional bounds had already been, crossed she thought, fuck it.

“Do you need a hug?” she asked quietly, she almost hoped Lucifer didn’t actually hear her. Almost hoped he was zoned out enough.

The ex-angel blinked a couple times his head finally turning toward her, red eyes locking with the black void that are her eyes searching them for honesty. He definitely heard her, but paused to debate whether he could really accept the offer. If he could really handle it or if she really even meant it. Averting his eyes again he nodded.

Lucifer went to open his arms but Vésper pulled him up and closer to her as she stood up. She tried to follow the way her Mother comforted her, it’s the best she could think of doing. As soon as her arms wrapped around him, mindful of his wings, she rubbed his back slowly and soothingly. For a moment Lucifer stiffen at the gentle hold, a little startled at the touch he didn’t initiate himself but found himself relaxing in her arms and returning the hug.

Silence more comfortable than the last stretched over them again, very gently swaying from side to side while Vésper embraced Lucifer. It supposed to mimic the feel of being swayed in a Mother’s arms, though she’s unsure if he found it relaxing it helped her keep it together in this unfamiliar situation.

“Majesty,” She murmurs to get his attention, “Have you eaten?” He shakes his head no slightly without moving away from the embrace. “Have you taken a bath?” Again, he shakes his head. She hums in acknowledgment, “How about I go get you something to eat while you wash up?” Her tone gentle, struggling to maintain some formalities.

Lucifer is still not answering verbally but by the way his grip tightens she can tell he doesn’t want to let go.

“You can’t go this long without proper sustenance, please?” she tried again, “Besides, I need to also clean a little around here. There’s golden, sparkly splotches everywhere and on you.”

The mention of the gold liquid makes him freeze. He had forgotten about that, he only hopes you hadn’t payed too close attention to his wings in that moment. So he reluctantly let’s go avoiding eye contact, rather looking around his room at the absolute chaos. He grimaces at the gross mess and snaps his fingers, clouds of red smoke enveloping the entire room. When it dissipate everything is back in its place, floors are cleared and whatever had been broken is fixed as if nothing had even happened.

“Or… that…” She chuckles, “I’ll be right back, okay?” Lucifer only nods and heads towards a door on the other side of the room that she can only guess is his bathroom.

Taking a little longer than intended, but with practically a full food cart she returns to Lucifer’s private quarters. Knocking she warns of her arrival, “I’m coming in,” opening the door slowly and peeking to make sure she’s alright to come in. She’s greeted to the sight of the King sitting at the edge of his bed with messy damped hair undone wearing silky night attire with a duck patterned. Of course, she thinks shaking her head with the tiniest endearing smile. His wings are wrapped around him lazily again as he watches his assistant coming in.

“I don’t expect you to eat much or all of it,” She clarifies with a firm but gentle tone, “But do eat your fill. However much or little that is.”

The moth sinner rolls up to where he’s sitting and parks the cart in front of him. The first thing he goes for are the pancakes, Vésper finally relaxes since she came into the room hours ago. This is progress.

Lucifer offers by pointing at one of the plates but Vésper declines with a polite 'Thank you'. She takes a closer look at him, specifically the wings she doesn’t get to see very often. They were clean now, but still made a complete mess with askew and crooked feathers.

“Suit yourself, V,” Lucifer speaks for the first time since his earlier outburst. She grins, “Ah, and so he speaks,” she meant it as a small tease but the relief washing over her betrayed her a little making it sound like an endearing remark.

Lucifer sighs with a self-deprecating smile, “I apologize…Old habits.” The atmosphere threatens to turn tense again, “And I deeply apologize for scaring you and… almost hurting you. I really didn’t mean to,” Vésper can see the evident regret and honesty behind the apology. Except he didn’t really need to apologize, she had already forgiven him.

“You needn’t justify anything to me. If anything I should apologize. I was rude intruding in your privacy, Your Highness.”

“Lucifer,” he corrects.

“Pardon?” Vésper whips her head to look at him, eating the last bite of the pancakes.

“You might as well just call me Lucifer,” wiping his mouth with the napkin his put on his lap and sitting further up on the bed.

Vésper’s eyes widen at the scandalous suggestion, “I could never-“

Lucifer interrupts her, “You can. Your Kings says so,” a shit eating grin spreads across his face. How does she forget this man embodies the sin of Pride?

She sighs reluctantly, but still avoids saying his name, “As you wish,” is all she replies. He looks damn satisfied with himself, and she can’t even be bothered by the little antics being she’s more at ease that some of his usual personality is back.

With a deep inhale of air Vésper stands fixing her clothes and adjusting her neat attire. She rolls her shoulders slightly and stretching her own wings to ease the tension from the muscles due to the anxiety she had experienced most of the day. “Some rest is in order, yes?” She asks in her more formal tone looking at Lucifer expectantly. His smile falters and there’s visible disappointment in his eyes.

“You’re leaving?” What he wanted to ask is if she could stay, but being more aware of himself and senses more alert his pride didn’t allow him to ask so outwardly. He’d let his guard down enough for a life time, but the sinking loneliness is winning out. Feeling consumed by a darkness he’s barely escaping Lucifer craves company so excruciatingly bad.

She also sensed it, even without knowing much about him it’s palpable. It just takes a little bit of empathy to realize he’s not doing well and he desperately needs something or someone to ground him in these trying times. She takes a glance at the window, bright red sky now a dark auburn indicating it’s late night. “I’m interested in you getting a full night’s rest. If my presence helps, I’ll stay if you so wish it,” Vésper offers. Meeting in the middle, she supposes in her head.

“Yes,” Lucifer nods, “Please.”

Vésper sat back down where she had been previously. However, Lucifer didn’t immediately tuck himself under the covers, instead stretched his wings in front of him. Slowly and delicately his clawed fingers started at the tip of his wings to take care of the messy feathers.

The sinner tried not to stare too deadpan at the King casually preening his expansive wings. Which now that she could take a better look at them, even in the dim light they seem to sparkle beautifully like freshly fallen snow. Or stars. Then she remembered he’s the morning-star.

She wonder how heavy 3 sets of wings are on his back, specially when all 6 of them are taller than he is.

She looked away closing her eyes briefly, feeling so unbecoming of shamelessly gawking. Even if he is right in front of her but it’s such a rare sight to behold it’s hard to not look. She glanced back again to see Lucifer struggling to comfortably reach the feather back rows. Without thinking before speaking she asked, “Require some assistance?” Lucifer looked at her pausing all his movements. Realizing what she said she wanted to disintegrate in that moment but she remained composed despite the embarrassment rising hot up her spine.

“Uh…” he blinked a few times, eyes looking between his wings and her, “You know what, fuck it sure. Just um… Be careful.” Lucifer shifted his position, showing his back to her. He laid out a singular wing out while tucking the other ones in. “It’s easier to do it with your index and thumb uh…” he makes the gestures as he explains, “And straighten it in the right direction.”

Vésper nods. Easy enough she tells herself. She gets to work as best as she can how he had indicated her, she wasn’t half bad just slower than he is and much gentler. Which he welcomed, he found it endearing how careful she’s being and Lucifer lets her find a rhythm on her own. Vésper has never touched something so soft in her entire life completely enthralled she stops herself from petting rather than preening. His feather puff and shake every so often to keep the feathers organized.

Lucifer thought she’d only help with the ones he had a harder time reaching but Vésper continued to the next wing row by row. She found more confidence to speed up and let herself concentrate, kinda forgetting who she’s doing this for. There’s an unspoken intimacy they both pointedly ignore while she continued.

For once, Vésper was tired of the silence deciding to break it, “Even if they’re right in front of me, under my fingertips I still can’t fathom how gorgeous they are,” she said warmly continuing to the next row.

She heard Lucifer chuckle, “Pure divine, heavenly beauty,” However, the tone of his voice was less cheerful this time. Like longing. “Sometimes they feel like a heavy burden, though.” Vésper is taken aback by the confession, “Now they just feel like a cruel reminder of what I use to be and what was taken away from me. Of the failure I am.”

Bitterness tinted his words with a strong mix of regret. Vésper was about to speak again when she realized his shoulders had begun to shake, so she stopped the preening instead resting a hand on his shoulder. That’s when she heard it, small sobs falling from him with tears cascading down his face. The sight absolutely broke Vésper, the usually confident facade completely torn away, his air of arrogance he carried everywhere he went completely gone. Instead there’s a shell of a man that he keeps tucked away most days and in front of anyone left.

She did the only thing she knew to do, making Lucifer turn around to face her. He wanted to protest by bringing his wings around himself protectively. However, she didn’t allow him, pressing him into another hug and bringing him to her chest she patted his soft blonde locks.

“They’re part of you, but they don’t define you. Nor does where you come from,” She spoke barely above a whisper, “You are Lucifer Morningstar; the most powerful being in all of Hell and supreme ruler. You are not a failure.”

It was like a dam that had been sealed for millennia broke loose in that moment. Lucifer sobbed and shook in her arms, emotions completely overwhelming his being. His grip tightened around her assistant, sometimes tight enough to make it hard to breathe, not mentioning it she just comforted him through it. Years, upon years of suppressed emotions came crashing down at once and there was no closing the faucet until it dried out.

No words were spoken for a long while as she held the crying King, serving as a physical anchor and solace. Broken sobs one after another broke Vésper’s heart into a million pieces. She’s never heard so much pain coming from one person and she couldn’t help but hurt for him. A few tears also running down her face before she quickly wiped them away.

“Let it all out… I’m here…” she comforted. She tried with gentle affirmations, soft reassurances and there somehow wanting to find the right combination of words that would ease the immense pain. She knew she wouldn’t, yet still tried. He bagan to apologize profusely but she only shush him and encouraged him to hold her as long as he needed. This back and forth continued until he managed to fall asleep.

She guessed the exhaustion caught up to him once morning came because once the sobs had stopped, Lucifer was out cold. She struggled to unravel herself from him without waking him, but Vésper managed to get him laid down. She went to stand a hand tighten around hers. Lucifer is still dead asleep, and even unconscious he didn’t let her go.

She smiled softly leaving her hand in his, pulling up a chair by the edge of the bed where she would remain until he woke up again. Sleeping half sitting and leaned over the mattress will have her body aching later but she couldn’t bring herself to leave. So she justified herself with the excuse that the King had requested that she stay.

A/N: ow this one took a really heavy toll on me :’) ngl i got a little emotional while writing it. funny how i spent a few days working on two smutty shots just to write this in a couple hours. i ended up finishing this one first so here it goes.

btw ! Vésper up to this point in time where this story takes place she had never seen Angelic blood nor did she know angels bled at all.

⤷ dividers : cafekitsune ✰

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sa-sa-blogger · 5 months

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Vạn vật thay đổi, con người cũng vậy. Ngày hôm qua còn nói yêu thương, bảo vệ ta đó ngày hôm sau đã không còn thấy bóng hình.

Cách nhanh nhất để cảm thấy hạnh phúc không phải là có nhiều hơn, mà là bớt đi. Giảm bớt kì vọng và ham muốn.

📸 no name

Retouch: Sa

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clawedinmyprofessions · 22 days

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I feel so awful my lams fanfic got removed from Wattpad and I'm so angry

This is so unfair!!!!

I gave them an appeal but other than that I feel totally defeated this book means absolutely everything to me and it might be gone for good my heart is so broken and feel like no matter what I do in this it's gone I've worked four years on this and I can't so I can't get my story back I think I'm done.

So I guess with an extremely heavy heart

Goodbye Scared of Him

You were my whole world you made me feel like I had a purpose and now you're gone I don't even know what to say.

I really hope I can get you back, I really, really hope so.

#wattpad #lams fic #hamilton lams #lams fanfiction #john laurens #hamilton musical #alexander hamilton #writters on tumblr #hamilton #wattpad writer

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hektor-world · 29 days

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you took my hand,

slowly, gently

our fingers intertwined

pressed against each other