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mrsfrecklesmarauders · 5 days

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Friends. Just friends. How could anyone be just friends with someone so gorgeous? Sweat kept dropping down Sirius’s neck, his shirt was wet, his hair was wet, his cheeks were red, his lips were so dry that he kept licking them.

Remus was so hot he couldn't take it. He was literally so hot he couldn't breathe.

"Do you think Snivellus wants to kill us?" Sirius said, taking his time to speak. Remus understood it was so hard to talk, even breathing was hard in this heat.

"Or tempt us" Remus whispered, looking at the drop of sweat on Sirius’s neck.

Sirius heard him because he smiled.

"I reckon is not time for joking, Moony"

They've been locked in the bathroom for what felt like ages. Snape's doing. With one of his chemistry tricks, he had made the temperature and air in the bathroom be very hot. They had tried opening the window but it was stuck. They had tried calling for help but everyone was probably at The Great Hall for dinner. Plus, no one would come, the "Bathroom closed for repairing" sign probably kept everyone away.

Remus was struggling to breath properly and he kept sweating like a pig. But he had to admit that seeing Sirius so sexy like that was a gift.

They had agreed just to be friends though. And friends didn't drool while seeing their friend dying from heat. Would they die, eventually?

"God! I cannot take it anymore" Sirius moaned as he took his sweaty shirt off.

"What are you doing?" Remus asked midway.

But Sirius was already shirtless and Remus couldn't take his eyes away from his naked sweaty torso. He was biting his lip.

Remus hated this beautiful wanker for being a nob. For breaking his heart. For using him. For making him believe they could have something real. Maybe it was Remus's fault for continuing with everything while knowing how Sirius was. 'I am a free spirit' he had said 'I don't want a relationship just have a bit of fun'. Remus knew he accepted those terms but he was still angry that Sirius didn't change his mind.

"I cannot take it. I am too hot"

"Yeah, you are" Remus tried to swallow but his mouth was too dry "I mean we both are right now..."

Sirius looked at him "You should take some layers off, Moony"

Remus had been safe under the school's jumper even in the hottest days. The white shirt would be transparent to show everyone his binder, his feminine torso. So Remus was always covering himself. Though right now he was boiling.

What Sirius was saying was not in a flirty way. But rather concerned of Remus's health.

"I'm okay"

However Remus's self shame and disphoria were stronger than anything else.

"Remus, we are slowly suffocating. It's not that I wouldn't want to see you naked. But right now it's not about that"

"I know! But not thank you"

"Moony..."

"I SAID I DON'T WANT TO, SIRIUS!"

"You can get a fever..."

"SHUT UP!"

Remus finally took off his jumper because he couldn't take it anymore. But there was no relief. Every fabric was burning him. He ripped his tie off and opened a few buttons of his shirt.

He knew Sirius’s eyes were on him. Remus didn't dare looking at Sirius. He felt exposed and he didn't like it.

There was silence for a while after that. Both boys trying hard to maintain their breathing stable.

"If we are going to die, Moony, I have to tell you something"

"We're not going to die" Remus snorted "Snape might be an arsehole but he is not a murderer. He will come and get us"

Sirius twisted his mouth as if he didn't believe him.

"Ok but Moony..."

Remus didn't want to hear more. He was so afraid of hearing that Sirius didn't love him, that Sirius didn't feel anything for him. Remus didn't want to hear how they should just forget what happened between them and move on. Because that was exactly what Remus believed Sirius was going to tell him. Mr. Free Spirit, Don't commit with anything or anyone. Fucking wanker.

"Shall we try opening the window again?" Remus interrupted.

Sirius was slowly panting and Remus tried not to make it weird and sexy in his mind.

"If we couldn't open it when we were stronger, I don't think we would be able to do it now"

In response, Remus struggled to get up.

"Moons..."

Remus noticed the surfaces of the loo like the sink, the stalls' doors, the walls and the floor were getting warmer and warmer.

The window in question was way up, almost reaching the ceiling. Remus thought about the imbecile who decided to build it that way many many years ago. Inconvenient. The window should be open at all times to ventilate any bad smells in the loo. Or maybe it had been open but Snape managed to close it and lock it for his stupid prank.

"Come and help me" Remus said panting as well. He craved some cold water. He would glady get into the freezing lake during winter. God, it was winter outside. They needed some air.

Remus extended his hand to help Sirius get up. The boy looked like he was melting on the floor. Sweating everywhere. Even in that state, he looked absolutely gorgeous. Remus probably looked awful.

Sirius raised his arm lazily and when they touched hands, Remus realized Sirius’s skin was sticky and hot. 'Do not make this sexy' Remus told himself as he put all his strength in lifting Sirius from the floor.

"Come on, get on me" Sirius said once he was on his feet.

"What?" Remus's cheeks surely were red. He could excuse it with the boiling temperature.

"I'll lift you so you can open the window" Sirius explained, looking exhausted "You're lighter....like a bag of bones"

Sirius smiled at his own comment. Remus wished he didn't love him this much.

"Fuck you"

Sirius made kind of a ladder with his hands. Remus climbed into it and sat on Sirius’s shoulders. Sirius was groaning and whining in the process. It was an awkward moment as well. Sirius’s face was too close to certain parts. And damn Remus was sweating everywhere even down there. And shit, why did Remus have to be a horny teenager full of hormones?

Something was clear. If he got out of here, he was going to kill bloody Snape.

"Fuck... Okay.... A little bit to your left, Sirius... The other left, prick.... There there there!!"

"Hurry up, Moony!! You're heavier than I thought!" Sirius said with a grunt.

Remus managed to get to the window. But it was indeed stuck. He tried sliding it with all his strength and nothing. He didn't have much strength anyway.

"Fuck, it's hard" Remus moaned.

"Sorry what?"

Please please please. Don't think dirty, Remus.

"The window, Sirius. Hard to open"

To Remus's surprise, Sirius giggled.

"I've never thought I'd be between your legs this fast, Moons"

Stupid little bastard. Remus was going to kill him.

That comment made Remus so nervous some how that he lost his balance. He slid from Sirius’s neck to Sirius’s waist, only because he grabbed him before he dropped to the hot ceramic floor. Then gravity pulled Remus back but since he was wrapped around Sirius’s body, he pulled the other boy down with him.

Remus hit the floor first and Sirius with his naked sweaty torso, and kind of a hard bult on his trousers, fell on top of him.

They both let out groans and gasps that in other circumstances would have sounded suspicious.

If the Devil exited, he was surely delighted by the way Remus's mind was sinning as he stared into Sirius’s gray eyes. Mind full of indecencies. Body full of desire.

"Get off me! You're too hot!" Remus exclaimed "I mean in temperature!" he added seconds later.

This was too embarrassing to be true.

"Sorry" Sirius mumbled as he slid aside, facing the ceiling "You're hot as well, Moony" he added with a teasing tone "And I don't only mean in temperature"

Even though Remus was feeling weaker for the effort he had made, and felt his body was on fire and at the same time made of wax, he managed to laugh.

Luckily Sirius laughed with him. Though their voices sounded weaker.

"What, friend? Does this provoke something in you?" Remus asked jokingly.

"Do you feel something, friend?" Sirius replied with his cheeky voice.

Remus couldn't even explain all the wild things he was feeling.

Remus's head turned to look at the boy next to him. Sirius was already looking at him, all sweaty and red. So beautiful and sexy it was killing Remus.

Sirius scooped closer. Remus didn't push him away. He was too weak to move anyway.

"I want to kiss you so badly" Sirius whispered.

Remus was out of breath.

"I am still angry with you"

Remus wanted to kiss him too. So so badly.

"I know" Sirius closed his eyes in tiredness.

Remus was feeling very sleepy as well.

"I want to kiss you too"

Remus closed his eyes, because suddenly he couldn't keep them open.

Remus was barely getting air into his lungs. His body was so hot he didn't even feel it anymore. His clothes were wet and sticky. This was surely what dying felt like.

If these were his last thoughts, then all that Remus could think was how much he loved Sirius Black. There was anyone in the world that could make him feel this way. There was no one that he adored most. And he needed to tell him. Maybe forgive him. And then tell him that there was nothing Sirius could do to make him stop loving him.

"Sirius..."

"Mmm..."

"Sirius, wake up..."

Nothing.

"I told you, Professor. I saw Black and Lupin getting into that bathroom and lock themselves in there. Doesn't it seem suspicious?"

"Well, it does Snape"

Snape? That bugger had been planning everything.

"I bet they are planning one of their silly pranks"

Remus had to do something.

"Sir... Siri...."

Knock. Knock. Knock.

"OPEN UP, YOU TWO!!"

More knocking.

"I SAID OPEN UP!"

Remus was drifting to sleep when he heard a loud BANG of the door being kicked open.

Then a yell:

"WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE?"

Maybe the homophobic wanker of Slughorn would have a heart attack seeing two half naked boys lying on the floor covered in heat.

But Remus didn't care anymore. He heard distant noises as he drifted to sleep. And bam, he was unconscious.

#The time Snape accidentally played matchmaker #marauders #maraudersera #muggleau #sirius black #remus lupin #wolfstar #trans remus lupin

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mrsfrecklesmarauders · 6 days

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It was at fifteen that Sirius felt something for someone for the first time.

He was just a silly boy who had kissed a couple of girls not because he wanted them but because they initiated it.

The summer when he met George, Sirius would call it the best of his life. The bloke was one of his Uncle's friends. He was way older. In his thirties. He was cool, handsome and easy going. He dressed like a Rockstar: cool leather jackets, tight jeans, piercings and leather boots. Plus he had the most angelical voice Sirius had ever heard.

They toured through different cities of Europe thanks to Alphard's money. George sang in every bar and club they could find. Alphard brought his nephews along, pretending they were more than eighteen and not minors with little experience of that world.

Regulus didn't enjoy his time much. He didn't enjoy the clubs and crowds and preferred to get lost in his books. Sirius was delighted with all that experience. With George and his Uncle, he learned to drink, to smoke, to listen to music, to flirt and to have fun.

Sirius thought Alphard's life was wonderful. Full of adventures, so different than what the rightful House of Black represented. During that summer, Sirius swore to be just like George when he was older.

But what George made him feel was intense and very different than what he had felt before. George was this amazing person that Sirius wanted to impress. He got nervous around him. And at the same time he felt so wild, like anything was possible around him.

Sirius couldn't stop looking at him, admiring every move, every smile, every word that came out of his mouth. His heart beat harder when George winked at him. He blushed when he rubbed his hair. And when he sang, Sirius was transported to another world.

Of course in Sirius’s fifteen year old mind, it was impossible to acknowledge these feelings as love. It was impossible for Alphard to be gay. It was impossible for him to be gay. So Sirius just saw all of this as admiration. Nothing more.

They were just bachelors having fun without compromise.

"George, Uncle has been looking for you"

George was at the hotel terrace, sitting at the edge of the roof, looking down at the street, feet tangling down. He held a cigarette between his lips. He had dark shades and wearing only a white tee he looked incredibly great. How could he manage that?

"Sirius, come here" George gestured for Sirius to come closer, smiling at him with his perfect white teeth.

Sirius couldn't avoid blushing as he approached.

"Look at this view, isn't gorgeous?"

Sirius saw the city of Paris in front of his eyes. Sunset was making the sky pink and yellow. The buildings had a certain glow in them. Everything looked as if it was made of gold. Paris was truly breathtaking. Eiffel Tower in the back. Sirius had been a few times, but he had never seen the city this beautiful.

"C'est trés jolie" Sirius commented as he took a seat besides George.

George laughed. His hair was also golden, shinning under the sun.

"At least I get you to talk to me in French, your Uncle doesn't want to"

Sirius was aware of his cheeks getting on fire.

"I bloody love Paris" George added "Might want to stay here forever"

"Me too" Sirius suddenly agreed looking at the landscape "I don't want summer to be over"

George raised an eyebrow.

"Come on, I'm sure you miss your friends" he said "Maybe a pretty girl you left behind?"

Sirius did miss his friends. The Marauders and their silly pranks. Although he didn't think about them every second of the day. Not when Sirius was having this much fun. He thought he should probably write to James. Then he felt nostalgic and got excited about the idea of telling him about of his adventures to him. He was surely going to love them.

"Maybe my friends, but no.. I don't have a girl" Sirius found himself nervously playing with his wristband as he said this.

"Oh yeah? A boy as handsome as you?"

Sirius now smiled at his own silliness and way of blushing so easily.

"I am like my Uncle. A free spirit. Do not want to waste time in just one girl"

He said it mainly to sound cooler. Like George as well. He flirted and talked with plenty of girls after his shows. But never actually stayed with one.

George looked away into the sunset with a sigh "Your Uncle, a free spirit, isn't he?" he took a drag of his cigarette, then realized he was supposed to offer it to Sirius.

Sirius grabbed it between his fingers. He had managed to not cough the other day. He wasn’t very keen of the smell and taste. But he wanted to look cool. And George looked so cool while he smoked.

Sirius managed to take a full drag and only coughed a little as he let the smoke out. George was amused. God, why did Sirius want to impress him so much? And why did he fail miserably?

"Are you angry with him?" Sirius asked as he passed the cig back "With my Uncle? I heard you discussing with him yesterday after your show"

If Sirius had been paying more attention he would have seen George go a bit frigid.

"It was just some bickering, Sirius. Do you bicker with your mates?"

Sirius shared a dorm with his best friends. Sometimes they fought about silly stuff.

"All the time" Sirius sneered.

George nodded with a smile.

"Your Uncle has an insufferable temper, I must tell you"

Sirius chuckled "He is alright"

"Have we met the same Alphard?"

Sirius found himself laughing and afterwards he couldn't stop smiling. It was a stupid thing.

'I like you' Sirius wanted to say. 'I'm glad you are my Uncle's friend. And I am glad I met you'

"Don't worry about it, mate"

But he didn't dare. The words were just stuck on his throat like a bloody syrup.

George kept smoking in silence. Sirius opened his mouth trying to find the right words. It was the nervousness that got him this silly.

"Each morning I wake up and die a little, can't barely stand on my feet..."

However his thoughts were interrupted when George began singing. He winked making Sirius blush. It was an acapella song without music, without warning, just because he felt like it. And Sirius smiled because he recognized this song.

"Take a look in the mirror and cryyy... Oh lord what you're doing to mee... I have spent all my years in believing you... Someday I'm gonna be free Looooord!"

Sirius couldn't get more fascinated by George's voice. He hadn't heard something so beautiful. He hadn't seen anyone so beautiful. In his mind it was that he wanted to be exactly like George. That cool, that amazing, that talented, that perfect.

"Find me somebody to Looove... Find me somebody to Looove" Sirius sang as well.

George smiled before continuing.

"Caaan anybody find mee...." George made a pause looking at the beautiful sky "Somebody toooo....... loooooooveeeee...."

The last part gave Sirius goosebumps. Not even Mercury had managed that. So Sirius was smiling just because. Cheeks pink, no wonder.

And George was smiling as well. Cheeky little smile below his shades.

Sirius wanted to smile at someone someday and provoke all the crazy things he was feeling now.

"George, don't encourage my nephew to sing. He has a terrible voice"

Alphard was right behind them. He had a soft smile on his face. But he looked tired. Maybe he just woke up.

"And don't you dare encourage him to smoke" Alphard added as he practically ripped the cigarette out of George's hand.

"He is a grown up boy, Alphard"

"I am a grown up boy, Uncle" Sirius smiled innocently. He actually couldn't wait to be a grown up adult like these two. Free from Orion and Walburga, free from all the stupid rules.

Alphard rolled his eyes as he took a drag.

"Your mother will kill me if she knew what you've been doing this summer"

Sirius buffed. He was embarrassed to be treated like a brag in front of George.

"Better not tell her, eh Alphard?"

"Why don't you go and fetch your brother?"

Alphard asked as he kept smoking "He's been reading the same bloody book in bed all day..."

Regulus was just fourteen. And he was already behaving like a bloody boomer.

"Look at that sight, let's go eat something outside"

Sirius rolled his eyes.

"I am not Reggie's babysitter"

Alphard patted him in the shoulder. "Come on, lad. I need to have a moment alone with George, yeah?"

Sirius noticed George haven't said a word. He kept looking forward. Sirius wished he would know what he was thinking.

"Yeah, of course" he said reluctantly as he stood up. Alphard gave him a sympathetic smile before Sirius left.

As he was walking inside, Sirius turned to see at his Uncle and George discuss. They were talking in low voices so Sirius couldn't hear. He couldn't tell by the shades but was he crying?

Then Alphard whispered something to make George give him his handsome smile. And something weird happened. Alphard touched his cheek delicately. Both men looked into each other's eyes.

Sirius found the gesture so intimate that he decided to leave.

Sirius was blind back then. He should have seen that as romantic. He should have known what his Uncle was. What George was. Now with everything that had happened with Remus, it all made more sense. Remus was not the first bloke he had fancied. Perhaps...

Something was certain. Alphard had been terrified to tell everyone the truth. And Sirius was terrified as well. He wished his Uncle was not dead so he could talk to him. He wished Alphard had trusted him. But he didn't. And Sirius missed him very much. Now he had to figure out all of these feelings on his own.

#My headcanon is that Sirius’s gay awakening was one of his Uncle's friends #But he didn't know what it was back then #From this lad he got the Rockstar vibe #marauders #maraudersera #muggleau #sirius black #alphard black #regulus black #wolfstar

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mrsfrecklesmarauders · 11 days

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*Marauders while studying*

Remus: Hey, Pads. Do you have the exams schedule?

Sirius: *distracted as he paints his nails* Yeah, here *passes him his phone* I think I took a picture of it.

Remus: *starts swiping through Sirius’s pictures until his eyes widen*

Remus: *shows something to Lily in Sirius’s phone*

Lily: *gasps and covers her mouth*

Remus: Aahmm... Sirius...

Sirius: *still painting his nails* Yeah?

Remus: Can I ask why you have pictures of a very naked James in your phone?

Sirius: *looks up in panic*

Lily: Of my boyfriend James, that is.

James: *looks up in panic*

James: *to Sirius* You didn't delete them?

Sirius: No! How can I delete pictures of our special night...

Remus: *raises an eyebrow*

Lily: *drops jaw*

James: *smiles* We did have fun, didn't we?

Sirius: It was the best night of my life, Prongs...

James: Mine as well, Pads...

*They smile at each other fondly*

Remus: Ah... Context please...

Lily: *panicking* Did you...

James and Sirius: *look at each other guiltily*

James and Sirius: Yeah...

Lily: *already panicked* You two had sex?

Sirius: Woaaah...

James: What???

Sirius: Who said anything about... that...

James: That's practically incest, Evans.

Sirius: We are brothers in every sense except blood...

Remus: Then why the pictures?

Lily: Why you said you had fun?

Sirius: James asked me to take sexy pictures of him to send to Evans.

James: Yeah, then I regretted it and decided not to send anything...

Sirius: And we did have fun... It was really funny to do so

James: *to Sirius* I thought you would delete them though...

Sirius: You're my best friend, Prongs!

Sirius: What if you die some day, I want to able to remember you...

Sirius: And not just your face, but you in all your glory...

Sirius: What kind of person would I be if I forgot how my best friend's body looks like after you pass...

James:...

James: I do have a good body...

Sirius: Yeah...

Remus:...

Lily:...

James:...

James: That's actually sweet, Pads

Sirius: Yeah...

James: *smiling* You're a good mate

Sirius: I know!

James: *kisses Sirius’s cheek and gets back to his book*

Sirius: *leaning to whisper to Remus* Also these are perfect for a good bribery...

Remus: You're so weird.

Lily: Can you at least share the pictures of MY boyfriend?

Remus:...

Sirius:...

Lily: *blushing* So we can all remember him when he dies...

James: Why do you all suddenly want me dead?

#this scene popped into my head this morning and I decided to share it with you #I don't know maybe it was funnier in my head #marauders #maraudersera #marauders headcanon #sirius black #james potter #remus lupin #lily evans #Wolfstar #Jily

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mrsfrecklesmarauders · 11 days

Text

It was when Regulus was searching for a way to say sorry to Alice that he encountered that song. Carla Bruni. He hadn't paid attention to her music before. Walburga fancied it and listened to it sometimes. But Regulus was more a classical music kind of person.

Sometimes when he listened to songs about romance and love, he felt so stupidly out of place. And Carla Bruni, she surely sounded romantic.

The song that Alice had played for him had been one of those. "Le ciel dans un chambre". It was a song that talked how amazing it felt to have the person you loved beside you, all the amazing things they made you feel, how you reached the sky when you were with them.

All Regulus could think while slow dancing with Alice was that he would never feel something like that for her. Maybe for anyone

Then Alice had tried kissing him, and Regulus panicked yelling at her horrible things. It wasn't fair for Alice. He had told everyone he fancied her because she was the prettiest girl at Hogwarts. It was a default answer actually. He didn't actually fancy her. But Alice had probably heard about it and that's why she had tried to flirt with him.

Alice was not that bad. She was nice and funny. And she was French. They both spoke the language and had visited common places in Paris.

However Regulus didn't like her like that.

Regulus had been listening to Carla Bruni ever since to apologize. Of course he understood all her lyrics without a translation. So when "L'amour" started playing through his earphones, he kept on listening.

The part that caught his attention (translated to English) was like this:

"Why make all those pleasures, thrills, caresses, shallow promises?

What's the point of getting caught in it again

Heart beating wildly

Understand nothing?

It's an ambush

Love won't do

It isn't a Saint Laurent

It won't hang perfectly

If I can't find my style

It isn't for lack of trying

So, love? I pass"

Obviously the song was about not wanting to do anything with love after getting hurt. But Regulus understood the feeling. Love? It wasn't for him. Was that bad? Was he sick or broken? He didn't understand why couldn't he like anyone that way. Not girls. Not boys.

If Sirius had been in that situation he would have kissed Alice without problem. (Well maybe before falling for Lupin). Actually any boy his age would have done it. She was beautiful and the most desired girl around.

What if Regulus was gay? Though he imagined a boy in the same situation he had been with Alice last night and he didn't like it. Shouldn't he have fancied some bloke by now?

God!! Why was everyone so bloody obsessed with fucking love? Was it really the most amazing feeling in the world? Why did teenagers look for a partner so bloody much?

"What's up with you, future little husbie?"

Regulus wiped his tears away as Pandora sat down next to him.

"I am not your future husband, Panda. We are not getting married" Regulus sniffed.

"That's not what your parents and my uncle say" Pandora smiled.

All the efforts The Black Family had made to make sure Regulus was not like Sirius. That he wouldn't suddenly start dating a bloke like Sirius did. Pandora was just a rich girl that his parents had introduced to him so people would see he was "straight". And she was annoying sometimes but Regulus liked her (not like that). Another girl Regulus had failed to fancy.

"We're not getting married, okay? I probably would never get bloody married!! Fucking hell, just leave me alone, would you? I am not in the mood for jokes"

"Sorry" Pandora twisted her mouth in regret "You might not be my future husband but you're my friend, Reg. Are you okay? Do you want to talk?"

In these circumstances Regulus would talk with Barty. But he was angry and wasn't talking to him. He could talk with Panda but he didn't know what to say. So he stayed quiet.

"What are you listening to?" Before Regulus could answer, the girl grabbed one earphone and put it on her ear.

Pandora was crazy. She didn't stop talking. She was loud and pushed Regulus to the limit. She was exasperating. She was so annoying and she kept insisting that she and Regulus were friends, though Regulus had been doing nothing but being mean to her. But maybe Regulus kind of liked her. He would never admit it, yet...

"French!" Pandora practically yelled "What does it mean?" she asked excitedly.

Regulus sighed "Love" although not in a positive way.

"If you're looking for a song to serenade me, maybe try something in English. I don't understand rien...." then she started laughing "See what I did there? Rien....I know that one word for that ancient song my Uncle fancies... "

Regulus rolled his eyes as Pandora kept on explaining.

"It speaks about someone who doesn't want anything to do with love" Regulus interrupted. Pandora tried to listen closely as if somehow she could suddenly understand it all.

"Like myself" Regulus added mostly to himself.

But Pandora didn't pay attention. She was busy enjoying the next song which was more upbeat. And talked about love again.

"Panda, I don't think love is for me"

"Ha?" Pandora took the earphone off. But Regulus had lost the confidence to speak.

"Nothing"

"No! Tell me!!" How was this girl so loud?

"I don't think love is for me!" Regulus repeated annoyed.

"Oh?" Pandora raised an eyebrow "That's okay. It's okay not to want that now"

"I'm talking about ever" Regulus swallowed "Which means we would never get married"

Pandora laughed "That's fine. As long as we are friends?"

Regulus was looking at her as if she had gone mental.

"Did you hear what I said?" Regulus asked "I don't fancy anyone! Not girls.... Or boys. Probably would never fancy anyone like that!... Am I broken?"

Pandora was quiet to consider it. She didn't tell him he would find someone one day. Like the rest have said.

"I don't think you're broken" Pandora shrugged "Emmeline keeps telling me about different sexualities..." she blushed when she mentioned Emmeline. The two of them seemed pretty close "She says there are people who like the opposite gender. Then others who like the same gender..."

"Gay people..." Regulus thought about Sirius.

Pandora nodded "There are also the ones who liked both... Like me"

And Pandora said it just like that. As if it was the most normal thing.

"You like both?" At least she fancied people...

Pandora shrugged and nodded "If that's the case there are probably people who like none..."

"None?" Regulus asked "Is that possible?"

"We should ask Emmeline. She knows loads" Pandora smiled.

"Do you fancy Emmeline?"

Regulus had the hope there would be more people like him. Maybe Pandora who was weird.

But she wasn't like him. She was blushing even more to that question.

"What dear husband, are you jealous?"

Regulus rolled his eyes. But then he smiled.

"Sure..."

"Let's go ask her now!" Pandora grabbed his arm.

"Oh!" Regulus shook his head "Not right now"

As in he was embarrassed to talk about this with Emmeline. It had been already hard with Pandora. Although Pandora was weird and seemed to know how to get things out of him.

"Okay" Pandora lied back, took the spare earphone to herself and placed her head on his shoulder "Can you tell me what does this one say? Sounds nice"

And so they listened to Carla Bruni, and Regulus translated without problem. He pointed out how all the songs were about romance and Pandora agreed. So they moved on to listen to Classical music until Panda fell asleep on his shoulder.

People who fancied none... Was that possible? Wouldn't that be lonely? What if Regulus didn't want to be different like that? He couldn't be different now that Sirius was. He couldn't be different if he were to be the Heir. Or at least he had to pretend to be "normal".

God, he wished he could talk about this with Sirius. But they weren't in speaking terms. So better shut up for now.

"L'amour pas pour moi" he thought about Carla Bruni's words. "Love, it isn't for me"

#Carla Bruni's music is so Regulus #I got inspired to write this by listening to this song #marauders #maraudersera #muggleau #regulus black #aroace #aroace regulus black #pandora lovegood #carla bruni #l'amour

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mrsfrecklesmarauders · 13 days

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James fell first, Lily fell harder. That's the truth.

When they started dating, Lily kept thinking that James was so perfect that he could have anyone. She was terrified of James getting tired of her and leaving her now that she had said yes.

It was the first time she had fallen in love, but she had fallen hard.

#marauders #maraudersera #marauders headcanon #lily evans #james potter #jily

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mrsfrecklesmarauders · 13 days

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Once, Lily Evans had loved Severus Snape. It hadn't been in a romantic way. She didn't want to date him or be his girlfriend. But she truly loved him as a friend.

Back in the day, Lily thought no one could get her like Severus did. They were close. They got along well. They were interested in the same things. He made her laugh when she was her saddest. She was the only one who could make him snap out of his self pity. They were more than friends. Best friends.

And Lily didn't understand why others didn't like Severus. She didn't understand why others hated him or had something bad to say about him. From her mother who stared at him with reject, to Petunia who couldn't stand him and was always calling him nasty, to her father who didn't like him when he liked everyone "Just think my sweet Lily deserves better friends" he used to say.

Mary and Marlene couldn't stand Severus as well. They said he was weird and rude, that he'd never opened himself to them even if they tried to be friendly.

Then there were The Marauders who were bloody awful with Sev just because he was different (according to Lily). Sev was the victim of James's stupid mean jokes and Sirius’s humiliating pranks. Peter just followed them. They were constantly on him. Making fun of their nose and his hair.

Lily knew Severus was shy. He might have been tackless, serious and might not understand other people's sense of humor. But she knew other version of him. And he was actually funny, he was actually nice. He'd just suffered a lot.

But then Remus came along and he hadn't also liked Severus. He also didn't understand why Lily was friends with him.

That left Lily to be the only one to understand Severus. The only one to like him. And for Lily the rest of the world was crazy. She was against everyone else when it came to Severus.

Not for a second she thought it was Severus's fault. He suffered abuse at home. He suffered bullying and incomprehension from other kids at school. He had no friends for being the teacher's pet, weird, awkward and lonely. Severus was just a poor victim.

"I get that nobody likes me, Lily. I am useless. If my own bloody father doesn't like me, who would? Sometimes I think you're the only person who will love me"

Poor Severus, Lily constantly thought. Why doesn't people try to get to know him and actually like him?

Turned out Lily had been absolutely blind. After she heard Severus telling some Slytherin boys how she was easy and he could and had done what he wanted with her, things started changing between them.

Lily had been doing nothing but forgive him. He messed up, he justified it with the misery he was going through, Lily felt sorry for him, she forgave him. And the cycle started again.

For Lily it was normal and natural. She had seen friends fighting and making up instantly. Why wouldn't Lily give hers another chance? For old times sake.

People did the impossible for the people they loved, right? For their best friends, right? Then why did everything felt so wrong?

Lily had fucked up all the progress she had with James Potter.

"It's so rude not to say hello to someone, Potter!!" Lily sounded like an insane person yelling that after James and the boys had said hello to Mary and Marlene but completely ignored her. To be fair she was sad all the time. She felt guilty all the time. She didn't sleep well, she had lost her appetite and she was losing her concentration in classes.

James Potter gave her a hateful glance and turned without a word left to say. And it hurt. In the past, Lily had begged for Potter to ignore her ass for one second. But that was before getting to know him. That was before the friendship. That was before Petunia's wedding and the kiss they shared.

"What happened between you and Potter, Lily?" Mary asked as The Marauders walked away. James, Sirius and Peter angry and Remus pitiful but loyal to James.

"That man worshipped the floor you walked in" Marlene added with concern.

"You even said that you might fancy him... After your sister's wedding...That you felt like a princess next to him"

Lily had enjoyed every second of it. How she danced with James. How she chatted and laughed with James. Their kiss when Lily was slightly drunk. The way he had been a gentleman with her family. How well he fitted in on the contrary of Sev.

Lily thought she could actually feel things for James. That he could turn into her prince charming. But that was before knowing that he was doing all of it for a game.

"He changed the game, Lily!" Severus had said "How can you be so stupid?! He acted like your friend so that you could fall into his game. Now he has probably bragged to his bloody servants about how he finally got you to kiss him! And you are a fool to believe he is not going to get over you now that you've given in!"

Of course Lily felt guilty for being an idiot. She thought James had changed for real. But Severus reminded her of who she was dealing with. James Potter and his friends had been tormentors of Sev for years. How could Lily betray her best friend like that?

"Don't worry" Severus added as Lily started crying "I have a plan to get back at him"

Not Mary or Marlene knew about how Lily had turned all on her. Telling Potter that the only reason she'd kissed him was to win a bet she'd done with Severus. Although it was false, Lily wouldn't give Potter the satisfaction of having played with her.

"Lily, If what James told me is true, then you were awful with him" Marlene said carefully.

"Now I am the awful one? How about everything he did!" Lily did yell a bit.

"You aren't a spiteful person, babe" Mary prompted "You aren't like this. You wouldn't hurt someone to win a bet"

"You're right!! I'm not a fool anymore! I'm sick and tired of people stepping over me!!"

Now if Lily had told herself she had done the right thing, that Severus was her best friend first and above everyone, then why did she feel so dreadful?

"Come on, Lily" Severus appeared now before Lily could explain anything to her friends "Thought we were having dinner outside"

Marlene immediately rolled her eyes with his presence. Mary tutted with disdain. If Potter was the bad guy, why did the girls like him so much? Why were they rooting for Lily to be with him and not Severus?

"Don't you see she is busy?" Marlene spat.

"We were talking to her, Snape" Mary added.

Why couldn't them get along with Snape if he was as good as Lily thought?

"She agreed to eat with me, didn't you Lily?"

Why did Lily feel so guilty? For her Severus had done the impossible to make her forgive his mistakes. Now Lily was making up for falling into Potter's trap and hurting Severus by kissing him. She was just fighting for her friendship. And his conditions were not getting along with The Marauders. Any of them. It was a sacrifice to make Severus happy. It wasn't even a sacrifice, she didn't like the bullies of those wankers, did she?

"I am sorry, girls" Lily said, swallowing the knot on her throat "I did promise... Sorry"

Lily followed Severus even though she didn't want to. Even though her friends looked worried and irritated. Even though it felt wrong. Why did she feel this way?

She was quiet as they ate. For the first time in the history of their relationship, Severus was the happy one, the chatty one. Lily didn't know how to act anymore. She stared at Severus and wondered who was he? Was she right to trust him?

Through Lily's distraction, she dropped her glass of juice all over the table. She cried in apology as if spilling her juice had been the worst mistake in her life. Then she felt even more awful.

Severus just smiled finding Lily's silliness adorable and amusing.

"Don't worry about it, Lily" he said as he helped her clean.

"I'm so silly" Lily sighed "I ruined our dinner"

Severus chuckled "You didn't"

"I can't get you another plate" Lily said, mostly to get out of there and take a break from him. Why did she want to run away? Severus was staring at her without discretion "I know how much you like meat pie... You were enjoying it..."

"I love you, Lily" Severus responded with a snort.

How much Lily had dreamed for a boy to fall in love with her, like in the novels. She fantasized about romance. And she thought no one would glance at her that way.

When Severus almost kissed her on New Year's, she even considered giving him a chance. Didn't she read about the girl who realized at the end of the movie that she had been in love with her best friend all along?

But then Severus had fucked it up miserably. Now he hadn't stopped saying it since they fixed things. He had confessed his feelings claiming what he felt for Lily was real, on contrast of what Potter felt. But everytime Severus said it, Lily felt more and more uncomfortable.

For some reason it didn't sound genuine. It sounded awful. It sounded as if she was his most precious possession. As if he owned her or something.

"I'm sorry" Severus snorted and rubbed his neck as he saw how Lily stiffened. "I just can't stop saying it now... I just love you"

When he scooped closer, Lily flinched and froze.

"I know you don't feel the same, Lily" Severus sighed "But I promise I am going to make you love me... We're going to be so happy that you won't even remember everything that wanker did to you"

Lily was too frozen and uncomfortable to respond. She was actually glad her food was covered in juice because she wasn't hungry anymore.

Then Severus pulled her in for a hug and Lily's eyes filled with tears. It wasn't comfortable hugging him. She didn't feel butterflies. She didn't even feel the tender she used to feel for him. She felt disgust. She didn't know if it was of him or herself.

Lily was starting to believe that Severus Snape wasn't the man she thought he was. Maybe the world wasn't wrong. Maybe they were all right and she was the one to be mistaken. There was a reason why everyone hated Snape. Perhaps they all saw what she failed to see.

If Lily had to stop being friends with who she wanted because of Severus, if she had to stop doing what she pleased, change and live for him, then maybe this was a toxic relationship.

Maybe Severus didn't love her at all. He was just obsessed with her. So Lily considered for a second about leaving him. But she was scared of hurting him. She was scared of breaking his heart. She still had little care for him. Would she be able to cut him off?

"Sometimes, you just have to choose yourself above others, sunshine" the voice of her father said inside her head.

Lily knew what she had to do. She just had to find the right moment.

#marauders #maraudersera #muggle au #lily evans #anti snape #james potter #jily #mary macdonald #marlene mckinnon

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mrsfrecklesmarauders · 13 days

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This song is very Wolfstar Coded from Remus's perspective.

#marauders #maraudersera #marauders headcanon #sirius black #remus lupin #Wolfstar #Conan Gray #Alley Rose #Found Heaven #Spotify

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mrsfrecklesmarauders · 13 days

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Regulus used to be seen as aroace or not interested in dating, or simply his dating life wasn't important for his character, now he bangs all The Marauders except for his brother and is bffs with all the Gryffindors as if nothing happened and his relationship with Sirius wasn't complicated at all.

No I was fine with the whole Regulus Black thing until people decided Sirius was perfectly fine with him dating his best friend and then started shipping him with Remus too

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mrsfrecklesmarauders · 13 days

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If jily has a million lovers, I am one of them.

If jily has one lover, it’s me.

If jily had no lovers, I am dead.

#I loved love and will love Jily forever

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mrsfrecklesmarauders · 17 days

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All this aroace character shipcourse has proven to me that a majority of people that interact in fandom cannot actually interact with characters and media outside of shipping and genuinely I believe you need to learn how to interact with media outside of shipping.

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mrsfrecklesmarauders · 18 days

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Remus calling Sirius "Padsshole" when he pretends to be angry and he is teasing him.

"What's a Padsshole, Sirius? A Padfoot who is an asshole. Padsshole. Aka, you. It's not hard to understand".

"Alright Moony Moons" Sirius smiles.

"OK, Padsshole" Remus smiles back.

#marauders #maraudersera #marauders headcanon #sirius black #remus lupin #wolfstar #moony #padfoot #It sounder funnier in my head probably

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mrsfrecklesmarauders · 19 days

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"You know... The girls are trying to find me a boyfriend"

Remus had let that comment loose with clear intentions. He wanted to see a certain reaction of jealousy and possession over Sirius. The kind of reaction he had had with Emmeline a few months ago when she showed interest in him.

But then Remus felt stupid. He wanted so badly to be cool with all of this.

Remus had done casual with Grant before. It wasn't a big deal. And most of the time, Remus liked whatever he had with Sirius. He didn't mind the secret. It was exciting to hide around or sneak glances at each other when they were around others. Remus liked having Sirius to himself when no one was around. He knew that no matter which girls Sirius flirted with, he would be Remus's at the end of the day. Nobody kissed him like Remus. Nobody knew him like Remus. They had shared secrets with each other that no one else knew.

Remus believed they had a special connection no one else had. That they were meant to be together. To end up together eventually. Remus believed that he was the love of Sirius’s life. He just had to wait until Sirius was ready to admit it.

Remus knew he was special for Sirius. And the other way around. They were friends. Best friends. They kissed, and had fun without the complications of a relationship. But God, sometimes he wished they could be something else. Remus saw couples like James and Lily, so open and in love that he fantasized about being that way with Sirius. Though that was impossible.

"Oh..." Sirius answered without looking at him.

Remus didn't know why he had said what he said. They had sneaked out from the Common Room to have a smoke. That comment was out of line. Sirius clearly wasn't searching for it.

"Yeah, you know the girls" Remus tried to lose the tension by laughing a little.

"Do you want a boyfriend?" Sirius asked, only staring at the cigarette consuming between his fingers.

"No... I mean... At some point" Remus shrugged "Not now"

Remus had recently acknowledged he was into blokes. He never thought himself in relationships. He wanted to be himself first. He wanted to feel comfortable in his own body. That was before developing this want for Sirius.

Sirius nodded. "It's okay if you want to. I mean you know I don't want to date anyone. But if you want... That's fine"

Sirius had tried to sound indifferent though Remus was searching for a bit of jealousy in his words.

"I..."

"I mean if you find someone nice we can't stop all of this, Moons" Sirius finally looked up giving him a small smile. How could he smile?

"Do you want to stop?" Remus snapped in defense. He felt a knot on his throat. The fear of losing Sirius now was unbearable.

Sirius immediately shook his head "No" though his eyes were everywhere but on the boy in front of him. "Do you?"

"No!" Remus was the happiest accepting whatever Sirius could give him. Waiting for Sirius to want to be with him. To love him as much as he did.

"Okay" Sirius bit his lip, unsure "But Moony... You are bloody perfect" he looked down as if these words were hurting him "If you find someone you deserve, let me know... You'll have to date someone nice eventually"

'I want you!' Remus wanted to yell. But he didn't dare. This was the fatal flaw of this relationship. Remus was too in love with Sirius to be cool and casual. And he was so scared of breaking everything up by being honest.

"I don't want a relationship either" Remus looked away and took a drag from his cigarette. "The girls, specially Mary, think I need some bloke or something. It is stupid" The smoke that came out became a sigh of disappointment.

"Girls are hopeless romantics" Sirius commented "But we are too young for that sort of stuff, yeah? Prongs is the fool in love... But not you and me, eh Moons?"

What was that supposed to mean?

"Yeah sure"

Remus was silent after that. He felt Sirius’s penetrating eyes on him as they smoked in silence. Bringing this topic up ruined their dynamic and made things awkward. Remus wished it wasn't that way. He didn't want to lose Sirius by being stupid. He was just stupid.

"So... Are we okay, Moony?"

"Ha?" Remus turned.

Sirius’s eyes showed desperation to fix whatever had happened.

Sirius smiled at him "Are you angry?"

Remus sighed relieving the tension. He smiled as well "I'm always angry, Padfoot" he added with a snort "But yeah, we are okay. Why wouldn't we?"

Remus saw the relief on Sirius’s expression.

"Good, because I don't want to lose you to some stupid bloke" Sirius said teasing. That made Remus smile.

"Jealous much?" This is what Remus wanted in the first place.

Sirius made sure they were alone and stepped closer.

"For now I want those gorgeous lips to be only mine" Sirius said squeezing Remus's chin and pulling him in for a kiss.

Yeah, Remus thought as he smiled through the kisses, this is exactly what he was expecting.

This bloody thing was so confusing. Maybe Remus wanted more. But God, how willing he was to comfort himself with these little comments that drove Remus crazy. He was willing to accept anything from Sirius. Because he was a fool in love. Although Sirius might or might not feel the same. And Remus had only himself to blame.

#marauders #maraudersera #muggle au #marauders muggle au #remus lupin #sirius black #wolfstar #trans remus lupin #friends to lovers

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mrsfrecklesmarauders · 20 days

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TW: Mentions of violence and Homophobia

(Grant calls Remus John because when they met, Remus took a lot of time to say his name, he was beginning with his transition, so Grant started using John as a default. And that's how Remus decided to use John as his second name)

***

Summer with the boys and Grant had been amazing so far. Things surely were different. But Remus had the same fun he used to have. Remus worried that after a whole year in Scotland, they would have forgotten about him. But they had always been like his family. They were the first ones to accept him. Remus's first friends. And he was happy to be back.

Fenrir Greyback was surely more powerful on the East End. He dealt with serious stuff and drugs. But that also made him a target of more violence. Like the "little message" Remus and Grant had received last night from so blokes on the street.

It hadn't been only because of Fen and whatever amount of money he owned them. But also because they had found them very close to each other. They had called them names Remus was accustomed to hear by now. Remus was willing to ignore them. But Grant reacted. It all ended in a big fight. Remus got dizzy with kicks, hits and punches. The only thing that satisfied him was that he had decently attacked as well.

This morning, the consequences were heavy on Remus's poor body. Bruised skin. Dry blood on mouth and nose. Even a broken finger after some bloke had stepped on it. His whole face was burning in pain. Remus was actually scared to see himself in the mirror. He felt worse than a wrecked train after a crash.

As he woke up, his body was reminded of all his injuries. But Remus didn't regret any of it. He remembered the scared and disgusted face of Sirius after he kissed him. He remembered the nasty comments Snape or other Slytherins made of people like him. So he considered himself brave. Something he admired of Grant. If he was capable of dying for who he was, so could Remus. He wanted to forget about those posh homophobic boys and stay here forever.

"Ye're finally awake, darling"

Grant was crossing the door of his tiny room in the flat with a tray of what Remus suspected was breakfast. Grant slept on an old mattress in one of the rooms of Fen's flat. Privileges none of the other boys had. They were lucky to get the couch sometimes. But Grant was Fen's favorite.

He had a small pile of his belongings on the floor. Some books Remus had borrowed but Grant hadn't read (he said he was too dumb to concentrate), some clothes, and his stash. That was it.

"Morning"

Remus struggled to adjust himself in bed. Grant immediately dropped the tray on the floor and ran to aid him. He adjusted some pillows on his back giving Remus his iconic smile.

That's when Remus noticed the bruises. Swollen lips. Black eye. Dry blood on his nose. Remus felt rage. He wanted to kill whoever wanker that had left his friend like that. Though Grant was not a spiteful person. He smiled at Remus like every morning he had woken up in his bed.

"You look like shit" Remus said to lighten the mood.

Grant let out a little laugh "So do yeh, luv"

Grant's smile disappeared when his fingers traced through Remus's face. The skin was sensible as his index traced it. First the eyelids. Then the forehead. Then the cheeks. Finally ending up in a diagonal line which started from below his left eye went through his nose and ended up in the right corner of his mouth.

Remus's heart beat fast to see concern in Grant's blue eyes.

"Is it that bad?" Remus asked "Do I have a scar?"

In response to his question, Grant leaned in to kiss his mouth softly. The first time softly. A pause. Then the second time more passionately making Remus open his lips for him.

They had been doing that for a few weeks now. Kissing. Snogging. Remus didn't know what this was. They were still friends. Now more touchy. But he didn't want it to stop.

After pinning for Sirius for years, acting on his crush on Grant had been very satisfying. The sweet feeling of be wanted back.

"I am so sorry" Grant whispered, still with eyes closed after he was done tasting Remus's lips.

"I'm not complaining" Remus smiled "I like this... I won't mind if you kiss me again"

That made Grant relax. "Yer too adorable, John" He buffed as he grabbed Remus's chin for another kiss.

"I brought you painkillers that would help you sleep" Grant said as he retrieved the tray beside him and placed it on Remus's lap "An' gotcha some food"

"Cheers"

Remus wasn't much hungry, which was weird for him. But he could use anything to ease the pain on his face. If he didn't think much about how it was left, he didn't stress much. He wasn’t much good looking without scars and bruises. He couldn't imagine how he would be with them.

As Remus began drinking his tea to swallow the pills, he thought about how he was ashamed to come back to school looking like that. Sirius would probably stop talking to him. And The Marauders with him. Maybe the girls would take him in, but not looking like a freaking monster.

Grant was also quiet, looking at Remus carefully. He wasn’t even discreet as his blue eyes traced his face.

"What did Fen say?" Remus decided to talk "Have you talked to him?"

"He's angry, of course! Sent the boys to look for those nasters"

"He wants to revenge us?"

"Of course, Johnny, he's our garden angel, ain't he? Nobody touches his Lil cubs"

Grant sounded sarcastic with spite in his voice. Grant had only wonders to talk about Fen, so it was odd.

"Are you angry?" Remus asked "It wasn't Fen's fault"

"It was everyffin he's fault, sweetheart!" Grant spat "Those lads were after'im after'll!"

Remus was a bit taken aback. At least Fen had never discriminated them for being queer. He made silly jokes now and then. But he accepted it. He had been through Remus's transition. Sure, he was involved in nasty shit. But he surely didn't want to get anyone hurt. Any of his boys hurt.

"It's okay, Grant" Remus shrugged "They just wanted to deliver a message. We were just too fruity for them"

Grant grunted his teeth.

"I don't care what they think of us" Remus added.

"Maybe yeh should go back to yer daddy, Remus" Grant answered, concentrating on a loose string on the covers in front of him "Spent the rest of the summer wif'im"

Remus's summer had been divided on the adventure of being back to East End with the boys. That included this new thing with Grant. And the constant fights he had with his father because he didn't like his son spending with the 'wrong croud'.

Lyall was very content though. With his new girlfriend which he was marrying soon.

James and Peter had called. Lily had called. He even had found Facebook messages from Mary and Marlene. But nothing from Sirius. Nothing since that bloody kiss.

Remus was happy being a East End gang boy again. Fen and the others had made him belong once.

The Marauders as well. The girls as well. But they would never understand him anyway.

"Are you kicking me out?" Remus asked blinking in confusion. Grant had changed. For him the boys were everything, his family. Now Remus noticed him distant from them. He got into fights with Fen every day about the most stupid shit.

"Things aren't as they were, luv" Grant answered with a sigh "Nut fun anymore... It's dangerous. It's awful. Yeh don't deserve this"

"I belong here, Grant"

"No!" Grant yelled making Remus flinch "That's not true, Johnny. Yer far more intelligent than this..." he pointed around "Drugs? Fights? Guns? That ain't for yeh"

Remus's eyes filled with tears and he didn't know why. Perhaps the pain he was feeling on his face. Perhaps for the permanent scar we would have. Perhaps because he didn't know where he belonged.

The Marauders had made him feel like he was one of them for over a year. He accepted the fact that he was trans and even helped him gather money for his top surgery. It had been a dream being back on Sirius’s life. Being close to him again. Hogwarts was not a bad school. It was amazing. After all the shitty schools he had been before.

Now he didn't know what to believe. Did they actually want him there or were they nice just because he was Sirius’s childhood friend? Did Sirius like him only because they used to be friends in the past? What would he think after the kiss? Would everything be awkward now? What about the scar of his face? What would his posh friends think?

Maybe somehow he wanted to belong back with Fen and the others because he was afraid of being rejected again.

"I can't go back" Remus whispered with tears in his eyes.

"Wiff yer dad or to yer posh school?" Grant asked with a tiny smile.

"Both"

"Because of Sirius?"

Remus closed his eyes in pain. Why hadn't he called him? Was he really that disgusted about the kiss?

"No" Remus lied "Because of everything"

Remus kept his eyes closed but he felt Grant's weight on the mattress next to him. And he felt his arm wrapping around his shoulders. Remus leaned in. Maybe Grant was the only one he trusted.

"I remember how excited yeh were to go to that school..." Grant spoke "Grant! Yeh said with yer little tiny voice..." giggles "It's a bloody castle in the middle of Scotland! Lots of books, amazing landscape and bloody gorgeous boys... But none like my Prince Charming..."

Remus elbowed him letting out a tiny snort.

"I didn't say that"

Grant ignored him "Yeh 'ave lots of stories about yer new posh friends, yer new posh teachers, yer new posh classes. Yeh sounded so happy to be there... It started being about going after yer prince charming..." Grant smiled and Remus copied him "But yeh ended up loving that place, eh?"

"I'm not saying I am going back..." Remus twisted his mouth. Probably he would.

Grant was right. Not even with Fen and the boys he felt so welcome and happy. So comfortable. Fen had helped Remus and took care of Remus. But expected his servitude in response, his loyalty, to own him.

Not The Marauders. Not the girls. They just liked him because. They accepted him because. They loved him because. With nothing to be expected in exchange. Sirius had done the impossible for everyone else to accept him. But Remus hadn't done more than to be himself. And boom, he had friends. Boom, he was loved. It was surely a new experience.

"It's still a month before the end of summer. Why are you kicking me out, then? Why do I have to go with Dad?" he ended sounding more childish than he expected.

"I wan' to protect yeh, luv" Grant's eyes filled with tears "Look at yer face, Johnny... This's all my fault"

Remus shook his head in response.

"If I hadn't dragged yeh into this mess..."

"It's not your fault" Remus pointed to his face "This... Nothing is your fault"

Grant sighed "Promise me, yer coming back to school. That yer making smart stuff and getting a decent job, John"

"What about you?"

Grant gave him his iconic grin "I'll be fine" then he leaned to whisper "I'll tell yeh a little secret. I'm saving up to finish school. Soon I'll follow yer steps, sweetheart"

"Yeah?" Remus smiled in relief

"Yeah" Grant nodded "But yeh do good my handsome lad"

"Handsome? With this torn face and scar?"

Grant responded with a soft kiss. He took his time this time. Then he pulled Remus closer and the latter placed his head on his shoulder.

"I luv you, my darling" Grant said.

"Love you too" Remus answered.

Both had worshipped Fen, the boys and all this life once. Because they didn't have nothing else. Grant, an orphan, practically lived on the streets when Fen found him. And Remus fresh from the closest, was looking for someone to accept him after everyone had made fun of him and called him a freak.

Now both craved for a better life. A decent one at least. Remus had more possibilities than Grant. But he was making sure he would always keep an eye on him. Just like it had been done the other way around many times.

Remus might be turning back to his Dad and school (despite the embarrassment of seeing Sirius again, and everyone with his new scar), but he would never leave Grant alone.

#marauders #maraudersera #marauders muggle au #muggle au #remus lupin #trans remus lupin #grant chapman #sirius black #wolfstar #grant x remus

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mrsfrecklesmarauders · 20 days

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i like how jily fans have generally kept the characterization of james as arrogant and self-absorbed intact. in other ships he's a golden retriever, which is kind of the opposite of james' canon portrayal. james is a dick! people can be well meaning and kind and still be spoiled, privileged assholes

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mrsfrecklesmarauders · 22 days

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Sirius was born as a Star. He was meant to be great, be the best in everything he did. He was meant to be a winner, a conquerer of girls, attractive, good with words, have many abilities. He was raised to be the perfect Heir for the Black Empire.

But that Star was so bright, it shadowed the real Sirius. A flawled boy. The vulnerable one, the imperfect one, the one Sirius himself hated.

Nobody liked this Sirius. They were too busy craving the other. They all looked at the Star. They all look at the shine. They all looked at the beauty. They all look at the brightness.

The Star was the beautiful one, the desired one, the one everyone wanted around or wanted to be. The Star was unstoppable and powerful.

And the real Sirius was behind that. So vulnerable and scared. Would anyone be able to see pass the brightness and see the real Sirius? Even like him?

If not even Sirius himself liked him, then who would? So he let the Star shone and took the spotlight. He personificated the Star so well, he became the Star. So the real Sirius was constantly drowned down. Hidden behind layers and layers of brightness.

#marauders #maraudersera #marauders headcanon #sirius black #padfoot #the brightest star #the star

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mrsfrecklesmarauders · 23 days

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James Potter hadn't always done reasonable things in life. He had made mistakes. He had hurt people. He wasn’t always nice. And he felt ashamed of it.

As a kid, James had everything he wanted. The coolest toys, the best parents he could ask for, money, a big house with a large garden and a pool, a dog to play with, delicious food to choose from and most importantly endless love. That's what made him a bit of an asshole.

It was James's need to make friends, to make kids his age like him that made him act like a selfish twat. He bragged without noticing how others might feel. He made jokes that sometimes could hurt people's feelings. He did pranks to others that sometimes got out of hand.

For James, these things weren't wrong. He found them innocent. Just to have fun. Just to be cool. James was just a kid who wanted to have friends, be liked and have as much fun as he could.

Then James grew up and things started changing around him. He started noticing that not every kid had the luck he had. For example, Sirius, his best friend, had money and everything he wanted but horrible parents. His other friend Peter lacked of confidence because his father disappeared the moment he was born. But yet, James made those two the same way he was. It was more about forgetting about their issues while pranking, breaking the rules and having fun than actually fixing anything.

There were three things that made James open his eyes.

The first one was Remus Lupin. When he arrived, James wasn't happy. He felt threatened by how close he was of Sirius. He got a bit jealous. So he was a bit cold, even mean with Remus. It was until he found out about his past life. Remus had been made fun of, pranked and bullied by other kids his entire life for being trans. And James wondered: "Haven't I done similar things to others?"

The second one was Lily Evans and the way she had called him an arrogant bully. The way she said it wasn't like the silly insults she repeated to him after he tried to flirt with her. This time she had yelled full of rage, leaving James speechless. It had been fair since he had tried to ask her out after her father had died (although he didn't know about it at the time). James understood that the girl he fancied really hated him.

The third and more important reason happened just now, the day before New Year's when James overheard a conversation between his parents he should have never heard.

"We should not tell James for now" his father was saying "You know him. He would act as if this is serious"

"But it is serious, Monty!" Hearing his mother cry had broken his heart "We are not going to pretend you are okay because you aren't."

"Is not that I am sick, Effie. My immune system is just a bit weaker"

"Weaker? Just with a tiny fever you can actually die, Fleamont. You can bloody die and leave me alone"

The way James knew it was something awful and serious was because Euphemia cried. She was sobbing into Fleamont's chest. And Euphemia wasn't a crier. She was always strong, hiding away her emotions. So what James felt in that moment was fear. It was more like panic. Like the one he used to feel when he was little and he was afraid of the dark. His hands shook. His heart raced. He felt his skin shiver in cold.

When James returned to his room, his mind was flooding with thoughts. Maybe he was dreaming. Maybe his hearing was as bad as his sight. Maybe his parents had been exaggerating. This couldn't be right. Fleamont was the strongest man he knew. Sporty and healthy. A bloody rock if you asked him. This couldn't be right.

"So, did you ask them?" Sirius asked as soon as James crossed the door.

In James's mind that question didn't make sense. It felt wrong that Sirius looked as happy as he did after those news.

"Ha?" It was all that came out of his mouth.

"Marlene confirmed she is going to some club with her brothers" Sirius said as he texted "I thought you were asking your parents if we can go"

"Not to be rude or anything but this grown up party is boring" Peter added "Plus you like the McKinnons"

"He workships them more like. Especially Adam" Sirius added with a chuckle "Wait until you see Prongs following Adam like a lost puppy, Moony"

James wasn't even listening. For the first time he wished his friends weren't around. Or any adult that was downstairs. He wanted it to be the three of them. His parents and him. So they could discuss this. And Fleamont would tell him everything would be okay.

"Are you okay, James?" Remus asked with concern when James didn't answer.

The others noticed his expression because they stopped smiling and waited to hear the bad news. But James wasn't ready to tell them. It would make it true. He didn't even know what was going on.

"I don't... I don't think... we should... go...out" James had never spoken as slowly and low as now.

"Why not?" Peter asked "You were the one to say you were bored as an oyster"

"Shut up, Wormtail!" Sirius snapped "Did something happen, James?"

James looked at Sirius. His second in command. His best friend in the world. His brother. How could he tell Sirius?.

"Yeah!" he cleared his throat before his voice broke "I mean they said no... Fleamont and Euphemia... They want us to stay"

"What? Why?" Peter pouted.

Remus kept looking at him as if he knew everything.

James shrugged, grabbing a football from the floor.

"I'm going to kick it for a while..."

"Now? It is almost midnight" Remus reasoned. James just shrugged.

"Want us to come with you?" Sirius asked with his eyebrow raised.

"No! You stay here and finish those beers" James faked a smile to calm them down. Even if he wanted to die in the inside "I'll be right back"

"Be back before midnight!" Peter yelled as James climbed down the stairs two at the time.

James unleashed his frustration with the poor ball kicking as hard as he could, tossing it to the other side of the property and hitting it like a punch ball.

All he could think about was that his father was sick, probably dying and James was so terrible, he wouldn't make him proud. Fleamont's son was arrogant, a brag, a rebel who had been into trouble several times and probably a bully. What was there to be proud of?

"Only you would play football on New Year's in this cold night"

Fleamont had been James's role model since he could remember. He had promise to grow just like him. But he was horrible. He wasn’t the man his father was. Why wasn't James sick instead of him?

"You shouldn't be outside, Dad" James sniffed rolling the ball between his feet, eyes locked on it "It is freezing"

"Dad, is it now? Weren't you too cool to call me that? You've been calling me Fleamont or Old Man for a while now. It actually sounded weird to hear that, you little brat"

James's eyes were burning with tears at this point.

"Do I have privileges now that I am a bit sick?"

James's head turned as quickly as possible. Fleamont Potter was smiling under the moonlight. His glasses reflected the light. His hands were on his pockets. He was dressed elegantly for the party looking casual. But James noticed the bags under his eyes. Sucked cheeks. More wrinkles. Whiter hair. Skinner complexion. James saw Fleamont's illness reflected on him.

"I know you heard my conversation with your mother, James. I saw you through the door"

"Are you dying?" James was surprised how small his voice sounded.

Fleamont took a deep breath "No..."

"DON'T LIE TO ME! YOU'RE FUCKING DYING, I KNOW IT! TELL ME THE TRUTH, YOU COWARD! TELL ME THE BLOODY TRUTH"

James had spit and pushed his father in the process. That made him ashamed. Jokes aside, he had always respected his father. Now he felt terrible. So he started crying.

James felt his father's arms wrapping around him. And James hugged him back, clenching from him as if he would disappear any moment. James didn’t want to lose him. He loved him. He loved him so much. And he needed him.

"It's okay, my son. Sh sh sh. It's okay" Fleamont sighed as he stroked his son's hair gently "I'm not going anywhere"

When James calmed down, they sat on a bench and they talked about what was happening. They missed midnight and the celebration inside but James didn't care.

Fleamont explained that years ago the family's fabric used other chemicals for their products. Poisonous ones. That many workers ended up dying. This changed with time and The Potters discovered other chemical-free ingredients to continue producing. But Fleamont had visited the fabric back then plenty of times when he was younger. And the exposure to those chemicals had damaged his blood and immune system.

"So, you're okay?"

"Doctors said I need to have a healthier life" Fleamont explained "That knowing your mother, she will follow rigorously..." he snorted "But I am not precisely sick. I need to slow down a bit. Take care of myself. Try not to get sick. Because any kind of problem would be dreadful to my organism"

James nodded, now feeling better "If you don't follow the doctor's orders, I'll kill you myself, Old Man"

Which made Fleamont laugh.

"No Dad anymore?"

"You bloody scared me, Fleamont"

The man just responded with a smile and a soft pat on James's shoulder. Though James was still sad and very very scared.

"Do Granpa and Nonna know?"

Fleamont shook his head "Not yet"

"Maikee? The guys from the fabric?"

"Only your mother besides you and me"

"But you didn't want to tell me"

"Because you're just as exaggerated as your mother. Even worse"

"Watch it! Old Man" James pointed a finger at him.

Fleamont let out a soft giggle.

"Should I tell Sirius?" James twisted his mouth thinking about Sirius’s reaction.

"I think we will find the right time to tell him. The three of us. Okay?"

James nodded in response. He was still restless. He was still scared of his father being so vulnerable and fragile.

"Dad..." James said carefully which made Fleamont smile "Are you proud of me?"

Fleamont opened his mouth but James continued before him.

"I'm... I'm not a good person" James said "I've been kind of a twat with a lot of people. I've been mean. I've been selfish. And I haven't been the most obedient son... I've driven you and mum mental many times" James shook his head "I am awful. You don't deserve me"

"I am very proud of you, James" Fleamont answered with a soft smile. James was surprised that he sounded genuine.

"Didn't you hear..."

"Yeah" Fleamont nodded "I am not proud because you are perfect. Because you are not... I am proud because you are an amazing person and a good human being. You've might have made mistakes or hurt people. James, you are so young, you are a kid. We are all a bit awful at that age. But I see you are maturing... You are becoming an incredible man. Even more than me"

James expected some scolding. Some sort of disappointment from his father.

"But I..."

"Have you ever wanted to truly hurt someone?" Fleamont asked.

James shook his head.

"Then it had only been silly mistakes of a kid. From now on, James, be a man. Start doing things right. Silly pranks, jokes and mischiefs are fun. But there comes a time in one's life when he needs to take care of serious matters. And I reckon you are doing an amazing job"

"So you don't think I am a bad person?" James's eyes filled with tears.

Fleamont shook his head "Of course not. You have the best of your mother and me. And we are very proud of you"

James wrapped his arms around the old man as tears ran down his eyes. He was willing to change and ammend his mistakes. It was time to grow up. Yes, he was only sixteen. He was still young and he could still have fun. But he was going to be better. He was going to stop making fun of others. He was going to stop bragging. He was going to make Remus feel welcome no matter who he was. He was going to take care of Sirius and Pete. He was going to stop showing off and asking Evans out like an idiot. She deserved better probably. He was going to be a good person. And make his parents proud. New Year, new James.

"I love you, Dad" James said as he squeezed his father tightly.

"Love you too, my son"

#Happy Birthday Prongs #I hate when people see him as a saint from the beginning #He was a good person but not perfect #What's interesting about this character is his arc #marauders #maraudersera #muggleau #james potter #jily #prongs #remus lupin #sirius black #peter pettigrew #lily evans #fleamont potter #euphemia potter

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