#whatever man you guys piss me off so much lol
Note
I do computer work but it's not very hard and kind of boring. How do I get to do hard computer work? Do I have to go to grad school?
hi i tend to miss these because of slipshod ublock custom filters im too birdbrained to fix.
i worked for a large american technology company which sold business machines internationally for close to a decade until laid off in successful accounting fraud scheme a few years ago. started as developer, erm, pardon me, i started as
junior developer
which is a role similar to routinely-executed court jester and human meatwave conscript meant to soak up enemy bullets to cause exhaustion of enemy bullet supply and finally guy that comes in big gross truck with a pump and a tank and a big hose used to suck the shit+piss out of portable toilet/malfunctioning sewer etc. this is for when you are 20 years old or so and they hit you with this work to calm your ass down a bit. my case was cloud bullshit on ancient rickety php stack. 5% keystrokes/clicks are php, 95% remainder is jira and other members of the axis of evil. LOT of dick sucking and butt fucking. Going into men's bathroom and making eye contact with cubicle neighbor before entering stall and fearlessly making disgusting noises. microwaving fish lunch thrice daily. you get the idea. meager paycheck but six figures takehome technically
next is staff dev, wait, god damn fucking tumblr, you can't adjust fonts mid-paragraph, and Big Text is just another type of font, in case you wanted Big Specific font. fucking fuck hold on. next step is
staff developer
no effective change besides greatly increased workload (click those motherfucking jira buttons!! suffer coworker's asinine bad-faith code review comments that HE AND HE ALONE must manually accept your responses to, on HIS time, before you are allowed to click the jira buttons that start the human meat sausage factory to get your 20 line maximum change into an RC and then release and then push candidate and then prod push!! pay raise one thousand dollars annually (lol). Emails. Now you deal with project manager too. speculate as to what sorts of grievous head injuries that man must suffer daily to describe his logic. his job is like the guy from office space that brings documents from one desk to another but he randomly reorders the words on the page in-flight. make plausibly-deniable wife fucking jokes about his wife in earshot. you're almost at the top of the suffering function. next is, no fucking cute font this time, senior developer, sounds cool right, lol, lmao, "senior" "developer" is like "tallest" "midgit".
no pay increase no workload increase but now manager emails you about extremely, extremely personal issues he's facing and also makes his most difficult problems from his boss your problems. one week will pass and then they will hit you with the "we're considering you for a team lead position". answer:
NO
answer no as this is the prescribed path, you take that role, you are maxxed out in workload, you are dealing with forty employee's worth of bullshit, another one thousand dollarinos a year raise, employer has solved efficiency problem with your sanity and burnout as variables. you're supposed to quit or kill yourself within seconds of hitting 30 y/o. don't fall for tricks. say "NO" in a creative way such as "i have tabulated some data and made it into excel pie chart quantifying diff. departments work output and am considering sending it to whoever Dave is, the guy that is one or two or three report levels over your boss' head, you know, his boss' boss' boss or whatever. or say "you are harassing me sexually, racistly" that kind of shit. make threat clearly.
was worth mentioning before, throughout all of this make as many friends and as much of a splash for yourself as possible as its time to trade on that goodwill, tell your boss you want an open relationship and you're going to fuck and suck other managers, and then find the good one with the good team of old fucking geriatric guys who could never be fooled into working more than a reasonable amount daily and also can kill people with their minds since they have been sitting on the bleeding edge of computing since 1969. their boss will usually be, suspiciously, one report rank higher than everyone else. e.g. their boss has a whole other boss + his reports under him. usually small team. go to their boss, say, hi, look at me, look at my beautiful plumage and captivating mating dance, please hire me, pleassseee. his team will say no, they will say things like "I don't know about that kiddo", "That guy seems like a candy-ass", they will read your papers and look at you in the eyes and say it is not compelling, the boss will kind of hire you anyway. if he doesn't you're fucked. if he does you're now a
STAFF ENGINEER
for fifteen minutes and then
ADVISORY/SENIOR/SPECIAL ENGINEER
and the suffering is over. no code minimal jira + squad of gremlin zerglings under your boss whom you can rank-pull and delegate bullshit to, they will be mostly suckers, take advantage of this. 80% of keystrokes/clicks will be in production of beautiful wonderful lovely .docx and .xlsx's, what a godsend, only in an emergency are you allowed to fuck with your zergling's code, usually in a cool way with bullshit procedure removed.
i worked on high performance computing shit. "what the fuck do you mean 2PB or so in and out a day on flash memory", "what the fuck do you mean special infiniband intel MPI library on CD-R stored in Craig's filing cabinet???". Meetings with company people: webcams off, responses optional, snideness allowed. Meetings with client: you must have your dress shirt starched and white glove the shit out of those motherfuckers. timezones = skill issue. i don't care where germany is, i don't give a shit, wake up at 3am for a 20m meeting i take on the toilet or while eating a boiled lobster complete with cracker + lobster bib. customers countable on one hand, invoices to customers not countable with 32 bits. no fucking mistakes ever allowed except for like whitepaper drafts, you cannot fuck the pumpkin on this one, your actual job relies on your ability to hit a button and suck down a week's worth of compute and millions of dollars, boiling swimming pool's worth of TDP, one mistake that leads result data to being able to be characterized as flawed and your balls are getting ripped off. Quarterly IRL meetings = normiepilled normiemaxxing. Dress sharp. leave at 5pm on the dot, go to bar with Old Fucker coworkers, drink wrecklessly with them, have a blast, let them give you a tour of a lab you are absolutely 100% not allowed to be inside, buildings that have posted weight limits per sq. ft. exceeding 250lbs, such a blast. every paycheck a FORTUNE every dinner a banquet every meeting an email every keystroke life or death. you get to meet /lib/doug mofos too one of whom i wrote a very poor kind of poem thing about. thats about it. hope this helps
26 notes
·
View notes
Note
Also if you're looking for hcs/things to write about, may I suggest how Dammon/Rolan/Zevlor show their jealousy? Say another handsome tiefling is flirting with you.
not gonna lie this got away from me more than i expected it to lol. thank you for the suggestion!!!!
Dammon, Rolan, & Zevlor - Jealousy
So this one isn't 100% explicit like my other HCs, but there are some mentions of sex sprinkled in. So standard MDNI/18+ still applies for the most part.
How the tiefling boys handle jealousy
Dammon:
So I think how Dammon would react depends heavily on the status of your relationship.
When you two are something more defined, it’s pretty hard to make him jealous. Not because he doesn’t care about you, but because he’s really secure in your relationship (whatever that may be) and he trusts you.
That being said, he’s only mortal. Seeing another person flirting with you gets him a bit pissed off. Not at you, of course, but at the person flirting with you.
He’ll come up to you and politely insert himself into the conversation, making sure to grab your waist a little tighter, maybe make a show out of pecking you on the cheek.
Basically anything to show this person that you and him are something.
And when the person gets the hint, he’s happy to have you all to himself again. It just ends up making him really appreciate how safe and comfortable he feels with you.
When he gets you to bed though, he definitely can’t help but make some quip about the whole ordeal.
Like he’d have his face between your legs and his fingers inside of you and feel the need to comment on how wet you get just for him, or how much he loves being the only one to see you fall apart.
He just really loves having you all to himself.
Now if you guys weren’t in a relationship of any kind, and Dammon sees someone flirting with you? That’s different.
Because he doesn’t know the true extent of your feelings. So, even though he has an air of confidence around him, he still has doubts. And seeing someone else flirting, especially if they’re making you smile or laugh?
Oh it’s torture to him.
I see all three of these guys being really big tail swishers. They’re all like annoyed cats when jealous.
But Dammon thinking you may be into this other tiefling has his tail whipping around the forge like it has a mind of its own.
He may burn himself on the forge once or twice from how uncontrollable it is.
He’ll grumble to himself the entire time you’re talking to this mystery person, mumbling under his breath.
He thinks he’s fairly inconspicuous about it.
He isn’t though.
Rolan:
God. Rolan. I have so many feelings about jealous Rolan.
I don’t think he becomes jealous super easily or anything, but he does react the most forward about it.
Rolan has this strange mix of confidence and insecurity, which I think would translate to his romantic endeavors as well.
Like he’s confident that he can please you, he’s a capable man, a talented wizard, why shouldn’t he be able to satisfy your needs?
But also, he’s hard to deal with, a bit selfish, an utter weakling, definitely not as handsome as this tiefling you’re talking to, so why would you want him at all?
I could see those kinds of thoughts running through his head. Even though you don’t see him that way at all.
So of course he sulks when he becomes truly jealous. The insecurities take over big time. Especially if the person flirting with you excels at something he doesn’t.
He’s not mad at you or anything, he’s more upset that he doesn’t feel good enough for you. But he would take it out on you a bit.
A little bitter comment here or there, maybe giving you a bit of the cold shoulder treatment. Because his first defense mechanism is abrasiveness.
He hates himself even more when he snaps at you, but he just can’t help it. He’s just so consumed by the idea that he doesn’t deserve you.
When you get him alone and have an honest conversation about his feelings, which will take some prying, mind you, he’ll apologize for everything of course. He does want to make a better effort to do better by you.
And his first step will be to take you to bed and tenderly show you how much he cares.
“Makeup sex” (if you can really even consider it that) with him is extremely intimate and sweet. He’s still going to fuck you deep, rutting against you desperately, but he’ll try to show you just how much you mean to him during.
You, of course, just have to make a joke about needing to make him jealous more often.
Zevlor:
Zevlor is tough because, like Dammon, he tries to hide it.
And I think jealousy for him is something less akin to true envy and more akin to self-loathing (which is a bit similar to Rolan, but I think Rolan does have a true sense of jealousy because he internalizes it as “I'm mad that this person excels where I fail” where Zevlor is more “I am mad at myself for failing where this other excels” - the difference being where they place the hostility)
He knows you love him and trusts you implicitly, but at the end of the day, he loves you so much that he thinks you deserve “better” than him.
So when he sees someone flirting with you, he excuses himself to be alone for a bit. He’s always been a very “enjoys watching others have fun” type of guy, so at first you don’t really see that anything is wrong.
But then you notice he’s not really even sitting at the sidelines anymore, he’s just off somewhere else entirely. When you find him, he’s like staring wistfully up at the moon.
If you know him well enough you start to pick up on the other little things that tell you he’s not himself.
The flicking of his tail, his hands clasped tight behind him, not looking you directly in the eye for too long. It all makes you really sad, because of course you have an idea of what’s the matter.
He’ll outright deny that he’s jealous, that he’s feeling down because of that other person, I don’t think he’d be the kind of person to really admit that.
But once you’re alone with him he’ll open up to you about his insecurities and his worries about being able to make you happy the way someone else could.
He is insecure about a lot of things and the last thing he wants is for it to become a pity party for him. He just really wants to be honest with you.
Despite his protests, you still get to reassure him just how much you love him. Even better, you get to show him.
Just like Rolan, the sex is incredibly heartfelt and intimate (because of course you have to show this man just how much you want him in every way). Lots of kissing and sweet whispers, light touches and slow thrusts. He fucks you like he has no other obligations for the rest of his life except to be inside you.
And when you get to be on top of him, you get to worship him like the king you see him as. You ride him like a devoted soul prays at an altar of their god, his body is your absolution.
#bg3#bg3 smut#my writing#bg3 dammon#dammon#dammon x reader#bg3 rolan#rolan#rolan x reader#bg3 zevlor#zevlor#zevlor x reader#hcs#requests/suggestions#asks#yarnnerdally
465 notes
·
View notes
Text
between you, me, and these bookshelves
synopsis: just the little things that happen in a little bookstore.
— featuring: albedo, ayato, childe, scaramouche x gn!reader (separate)
— cw: modern au, swearing, yn is an avid reader, use of childe's real name, none of the books i mention here are real lol
— author's notes: first headcanon post with multiple characters~ very self indulgent so hope you guys enjoy <3
Working at a bookstore isn't the most glamorous job in the world.
The pay is good for the amount of work you need to do, and most days nothing much happens.
But sometimes, there are just some events that happen between the bookstore's mahogany shelves that make your days just a bit more colorful.
Albedo
The bookstore has a chalkboard stand outside that details new releases, promotions, or events that the store has. Displayed on it are elaborate illustrations or hand-lettering, all of it done by the same person.
And he comes by every other weekend to re-do its contents.
You sometimes watch him as he draws, his nimble hands becoming dusted with colored chalk as he sketches on the blackboard, his light blond hair tied back as he furrows his brow, deep in concentration.
He’s caught you staring a handful of times, to which you turn away in hopes that he doesn’t bring it up. Thankfully he never does.
This week you watch as he colors in his artwork, a dragon and a young man with wings at the center soaring over rolling plains and sharp cliffs.
As the boy gets started with the lettering, you ask him a question.
“Do you really just come up with all this on the spot?”
The boy looks at you with curiosity in his eyes, “So you do talk. And here I was wondering if you just didn’t like talking to me.”
“Well, I don’t exactly know what we can really talk about. You’re a freelancer right?”
He smiles as he returns his attention back to his illustration, “You can say that. Well to answer your first question, I usually have a final outcome in mind before I start sketching. Your boss sends me a gist of what he wants and I draw it. Simple as that.”
You converse with him until he finishes, sprinkling in some questions about his work in between. As he packs up to leave, you ask him one last question.
“I never got your name, chalk boy.”
A silent question, but one that he still understands.
“It’s Albedo.”
The two of you end up striking up an easy conversation every time he visits, with you always watching him draw
If you express interest in his other works, he’ll let you browse his sketchbook
One day while flipping through his drawings, you begin to see some familiar sights: a vending machine outside a nearby convenience store, a food stall, and the outside of the bookstore. Some pages have small doodles in pencil and ink, and some in color. Others have full illustrations.
The next page that you flip to, though, nearly takes your breath away.
You find a colorful illustration of the bookstore, a blend of paint and ink. Sunlight streams through the glass walls and envelops the scene in a warm light. Boxes lay strewn on the floor, all of them brimming with books. And among the boxes stands you, a stack of books in hand as a small smile graces your face.
You look up when Albedo spots the page you’re on, “Ah, I hope you don’t mind that I sketched you a handful of times. I tend to draw what I find interesting.
“So is it alright if… I sketched you more often?”
Scaramouche
Scaramouche pisses you off most days.
He distracts you while you try to do your work, he steals the pen by the cash register whenever you need to use it, and worst of all, he always makes fun of whatever book you read.
No matter what genre it is, mystery, fantasy, or heaven forbid, romance, he'll always find something to tease you about.
But it’s odd. For someone who claims to hate every novel that you've taken interest in, you find yourself discussing with him each and every book you’ve read.
“Sure, Forest of Lies had a strong opening,” he starts, leaning back on his chair, “But did the princess seriously need to go through those arbitrary trials just to prove that she was determined to save her kingdom?”
“Fine, I thought it was stupid too,” you say, “But you have to admit, the characters are actually well-written and have interesting subplots. The knight having a backstory connected to the princess’ was a good twist.”
“But does anything really come from that twist? Or was it just there for shock value? When you get to the part where–”
You let out an exaggerated gasp, “Spoilers! I just got past the twist, asshole.”
“You should read faster then!” he says, going into the storage room to fetch some supplies, “Whatever, we’ll continue this when you finish the damn book.”
You’re about to continue reading when Scaramouche pops his head out and adds, “The next two novels in the series go downhill in quality from there. Trust me.”
“But this is a trilogy??”
“That’s the point!”
You realize that he had a point when you finally got to the second book.
Around halfway through reading the book, you catch him reading over your shoulder. You turn to look at him and he simply gives you a smug smile. You simply rolled your eyes and continued reading.
A couple of days go by after you finish the second book when he approaches you.
“What’s the occasion?” you say as Scaramouche hands you a book, a pen, a highlighter, and some book tabs.
It’s a novel on your wishlist, you notice; one that you had mentioned to him in passing. Small colored tabs stick out from the side of the book. Thumbing through the first few pages, you see that he underlined some passages, his neat writing occupying the margins, the blue highlighter bringing your attention to a handful of quotes. Just from reading the first sentence as well as Scaramouche’s comments, you could tell that you were going to enjoy reading this.
But you recall a casual remark he during one of your past conversations — he doesn’t typically annotate his books. Did he do this for you?
“Nothing. Just thought you should read a good book for once,” he answers, not quite looking at you.
“Excuse you, I read good books sometimes.”
“The last book you read, you kept ranting about how the writing wouldn’t just ‘let the characters fucking talk’. Your words, not mine.”
“And the last book you read, you literally couldn’t finish because you kept getting fed up with the protagonist doing nothing.”
He groans, “Are you gonna accept my gift or not?”
You give him an unimpressed look, setting the book and stationery aside, “This novel better be as good as you say it is.”
He was right. The book was actually good. You even ended up adding your own annotations alongside his — like having your own conversation amidst the pages of the book.
His comments, whether they be snarky, insightful, or analytical, definitely enhanced the experience. And thanks to that, you end up finishing the book in just two days.
Another one of your story discussions happens and, amidst the bickering, a book he mentions piques your interest.
After making fun of the ever-growing list of books he wants to read, to which he retorts by saying you’re not better off, an idea pops into your head and you search for the novel he’s looking for.
It’s in a genre you wouldn’t typically go reaching for, but this is the least you could do for him, right?
You spend the next week reading and annotating the book, using the highlighter and tabs Scaramouche had given you to highlight passages and give your comments.
The shocked look on his face when you gave him the copy of the book was definitely worth it.
“Just thought you should read a good book for once,” you say, sliding the book toward him.
“Huh. Don’t you hate this genre?”
“Surprisingly enough I actually liked the story; you have decent recommendations when you’re not being such a dick. So, are you gonna accept my gift or not?”
He rolls his eyes, snatching the book from the table, and mumbling a quiet ‘thanks’.
You pretend not to see the blush that reaches his ears.
Ayato
It starts off as most days do, with a delivery of new books.
You open the box to find the newest releases as well as some bestsellers. One of the covers catches your eye, the title Child of the Roses emblazoned in front of an illustration of two women laying in a field of red roses — one of the books you’ve always wanted to get your hands on ever since the author announced the plot.
Sure you could purchase the book right now, but your budget for the month didn’t have a lot of wiggle room. And if you did wait until next month, you couldn’t exactly guarantee the availability of the book since it always manages to sell fast.
While you’re restocking the shelves, the door to the store opens, and in come a man and woman with pale blue hair.
The girl starts looking around while the man walks up to you.
“Does your store happen to sell the book Traingazing?” the man asks. There’s an elegance in the way he carries himself — well-dressed, handsome, and dignified in the way he speaks, “It’s alright if you don’t.”
You confirm its availability and lead him to the nearby shelves, “You lucked out today, sir. This is our last copy.”
He laughs. Fuck, even his laugh sounds expensive, “Lucky indeed. My sister and I have gone to five stores today just looking for it.”
The girl, his sister, you presume, comes up to you two with a small stack of books in hand, “Did you find it?”
The man holds up the book, its silver-edged pages gleaming in the fluorescent lights of the store, “Got their last copy, too.”
She sighs in relief, “Good. You can finally stop nagging me about you never being able to grab a copy before they sell out.”
“Says the one who dragged me to eight stores looking for a book you ended up hating.”
The siblings leave shortly after purchasing their books.
The rest of the day passes by as normal. Rush hour usually comes around early afternoon to late evening, when students get out of school and people usually get off work.
Unfortunately, your shift just about lines up with the store’s more chaotic hours.
You spot a familiar blue-haired man again later that evening while you’re in the middle of helping another customer. He’s browsing the shelves when he spots you.
“Can you help me with something? I’m looking for a gift for my sister.”
“Oh, the girl you were with this afternoon, right? What kind of books does she like?”
He describes the types of books she favors along with a handful of her favorite authors. You lead him to some nearby shelves, picking out some books and giving him a brief synopsis of each one. He listens intently to each of your suggestions, his lilac eyes focused on you.
As you’re finishing up, he spots a book behind you and grabs it from the shelf. You spot the familiar title, Child of the Roses. As usual, whenever you restock it, it’s the last one in stock. “You thinking of buying that one? It’s our last copy.”
The man reads the synopsis as you summarize the plot, “Seems like quite the interesting book if it got you so excited.”
You laugh at his remark, “Well, I’ve been wanting to read that book for a while now, but I never manage to get a copy before they sell out.”
He considers the book before saying, “Is that so?”
Your co-worker calls for you before you can respond, saying that they need help with manning the cash register.
After almost an hour of helping with scanning barcodes and packing books, the blue-haired man stands in front of the counter.
He holds up Child of the Roses, “If it’s alright, I’d like to make this a separate purchase.”
Figures he’d buy the book if the reviews and your excited ramblings are anything to go off of. While you were sad that the chance to purchase the novel had once again slipped away, at least you could be reassured that it would be in good hands.
After giving him the book and the receipt, he simply hands them both back to you, “You were quite passionate when you described the book to me. I thought I should buy it for you before someone else gets it.”
This has to be a dream, “Are you sure you want to give this to me? I mean don’t get me wrong! I’m grateful, but don’t you want to read this, too?”
A smile graces his face, “Of course. You helped me find what I was looking for this afternoon, so this is the least I can do for you.”
When you finally get home and settle down for the evening, you open the book, intending to get through just one chapter.
That’s when you find a calling card in between the pages of the index and the first chapter, the name Kamisato Ayato in immaculate handwriting on one side along with his number.
On the back was a message: I’m actually currently reading Child of the Roses, so I have no need for another copy. But if you’d like, we could go out sometime and read it together. What do you say?
Childe
Most days there's not really much to do aside from the usual talking to customers, restocking the shelves, and helping close up shop.
So sometimes you read just to pass the time.
You’re just finishing up a chapter when the door to the store opens.
Ajax, you learn his name, is a massive flirt. Instead of talking to you like a normal person, he instantly says the cheesiest pickup line you’ve ever heard.
“I don’t need glasses,” he says, leaning on the counter, “ ‘cause I can clearly see that we were meant to be.”
It’s way too early for this shit, “... sir are you going to buy a book or not?”
He tips his head back and laughs, “C’mon! You have to admit that one was good.”
And he’s come by the store every so often ever since.
He’s quite the chatterbox too, talking about anything he can think of whenever you scan his items at the counter.
You learn he’s an older brother when he asks you for book recommendations for his younger siblings. His attentiveness to his siblings’ taste in literature never fails to put a smile on your face.
You also learn that he’s very knowledgeable in literature.
He comments on one of the books you’re reading during one of his visits, talking about his favorite scenes as well as discussing the characters with you.
A week of nearly daily visits turns into a month, with you getting used to his corny pick-up lines and little conversations.
But then it suddenly stops. A week passes without Ajax’s visits.
You don’t think too much of it until that one week turned into three.
He was under no obligation to come back every day, of course. He was a customer, at the end of the day, and there was never any guarantee that he wouldn’t suddenly stop visiting the bookstore nearly every day.
But you couldn’t help feeling dejected at the thought of just never seeing him again.
Then, on one unassuming Monday afternoon, a familiar face returns to the store.
“Hope you didn’t miss me too much,” Ajax winks at you, “Mind if you help me look for a book?”
You smile, doing your best to hide your surprise, “Good to see you’re still doing well.”
He gives a vague description of what he’s looking for: a sci-fi series that’s appropriate for his little brother Teucer, the third book to a series his sister Tonia is currently reading, and “whatever you think is good” for him.
Walking over to the shelves, you could feel his eyes on you as you started picking out the books for his siblings. A soft smile is on his face when you turn to face him, becoming wider when your eyes meet his.
“You were gone for a while,” you say, unsure of how to continue. His life is none of your business and like hell were you going to admit that you missed him.
He sighs, “Yeah. Work has been a lot these past few weeks, but now that it’s loosened up I can finally start seeing my favorite person more often.”
“Your favorite person huh?”
“Getting the chance to talk to you is the highlight of my visits. Of course you’d be my favorite person.”
He leans in close to you, “Y’know, I just realized that I’ve lost my number. So can I have yours?”
You roll your eyes, still smiling, “You could have just asked for my number like a normal person.”
Ajax laughs, and you find yourself wishing you could listen to it every day.
#albedo x reader#ayato x reader#kamisato ayato x reader#scaramouche x reader#childe x reader#tartaglia x reader#albedo fluff#ayato fluff#scaramouche fluff#childe fluff#genshin x reader#genshin fluff#genshin imagines#genshin scenarios#genshin modern au#genshin drabbles
2K notes
·
View notes
Text
stupid Bimet headcanons
I love him stupid foxy boy
SFW
His eyes are the most cat-like of all the devils, going into slits when he is annoyed but when he see something he likes his pupils blow up just like a cat.
He never understands sentimental value. However, his greatest treasure is something you gave a smooth round tiger's eye because you told him that it reminds you of his eyes. He keeps it in a velvet box away from all his other treasures. It is a treasure that he keeps for himself something that he owns a gift from you no matter the price is worth billions.
But everything else about him is a snickering fox;
This motherfucker owns every name brand worth more than your fucking rent. This man goes to spas every weekend and owns luxury skin products. This man takes a bath In a luxury bathhouse made out of solid gold with expensive ass bath bombs, lit candles, and milk that's good for your skin. When he gets out, he wears a stupid fucking bathrobe with gold embroidery of his name before he puts on his foolish fucking 1 billion dollar lotion.
Watches human reality TV shows. Televisions that are able to not only play programs from hell but programs in the human world cost a fortune but of course devils in tartaros can afford that.
The nickname he gave you in his phone is "broke bitch🥰💕"
You may own women but he knows how much money you got in that wallet lol.
People say that bimet is it afraid to be himself around you isn't afraid to criticize you And I love that so much. Where he treats you differently than his king.
Petty and jealous, clings to you and gives you affection while he gives that foxy little bitch smirk to any other demon he comes across.
to be honest you and Bimet are really Mammons sugar babies, the way Bimet eyes went wide when Mammon save you a copy of his platinum credit card.
He is quite an enigma when it comes to spoiling, when he splurging on himself he will bring you with him he will get you whatever you want though he will bitch about it the entire time. Don't listen to him. That's just empty threats. Having you with him is the greatest treasure. He loves when other devils and tartaros look at him with envious eyes when he is hooked around your arm. But he will absolutely treat you like a precious treasure. Worship the ground you walk on. He will bring you on spa trips shopping trips.
Buys you gifts, then makes fun of you for how broke you are. When you try not to accept it, he gets pissed, so you're not sure if this is a gift or a joke.
"seriously you need to take care of yourself better, It really pisses me off that you don't recognize your own worth." -Bimet
The best person to talk about your ex's with He will murder them~
(I want him to have a kitsune a form so bad, He's so fox-coated guys)
It doesn't like to admit it, but you are his first genuine friend.
Nicole from class 09 coded
"HEY! You don't dare bully them; that's my job!!"
152 notes
·
View notes
Text
Joel miller headcannons
Joel miller x male! Reader (and a couple ftm! Ones)
Warnings: cockwarming, blowjobs, praise, eating out , p in a
— sfw —
-matching bracelets (idfk why)
Like these ^
-shares whatever he finds with you (and you ONLY sometimes not even Ellie)
-will purposefully look for things he knows you like when exploring abandoned places, and will trade for things you like on special occasions
- he’s not a pda guy
-BUTTTTT if he’s jealous or some chic is looking at you he’ll hold your thigh/wrap and arm around your shoulder and kiss you, sometimes make out, just to piss them off
-if someone flirts with you he’ll skip the small talk and simply say “back the fuck off from my man”
If they press on he’d deck them in the face then drag you to a secluded area to show you how much he appreciates that your his 👀💗
-loves to kiss your ring finger, plays with his and your wedding bands when he’s upset or angry
-he spent ages finding those rings, and he made sure they were the BEST for you
— nsfw —
-loves to pull on your hair during sex, just taking fistfuls of it and pulling your head back as he mutters in your ear “good fucking boy”
-loves when you ride him, as he leans back on his arms tucked under his head, just biting his lip as he watches you get out of breath- impaling yourself in his dick.
-loves eating your pussy, just burying his lips and nose in your wetness, his moustache grazing against the sensitive flesh as his hands grip your thighs like a vice- he could even cum hands free if your thighs clamp around his face whilst he eats you out.
He also gets off to the sounds you make as he eats you out, the little whimpers and gasps for him to slow down or speed up, how you desperately grab onto any thing to ground yourself
(Pre breakout) - likes you cockwarming him when he files paperwork or generaly works, likes how you squirm and beg him to hurry up as he holds you firm in place, impaled on his dick which throbs inside of you, making you go wild with need, and unable to do anything about it until he grows impatient or finishes his work, occasionally whispering a little “just a little longer my good boy, taking it so good for me”
-loves praising you too, little “so good for me sweet thing”
And “taking me so well pretty”
“Shit gonna fill your cunt up baby”
-also loves giving you blowjobs to blow off steam- wether it’s for you or him, he just is addicted to it, he loves sitting there with your dick resting on his tongue, as he buried his nose in your bush and breathes in the sweat smell of your musk, especially after a long day when you’re very sweaty from work 💗
—— a/n ——
I’m planning on getting two fics out soon just gotta spell check one, sorry for being dead and gone for so fucking long lol love ya tho 💗
#male reader#gay#joel miller#male x male#joel miller x male reader#joel tlou2#tlou fic#joel miller smut#joel miller headcanon#joel miller x reader#ftm reader#joel miller x ftm reader
104 notes
·
View notes
Text
antidote
a/n1 : helllo, I missed y’all on here lol,, I hope you like this & my inner Choso lover came out lolll
warnings smut(mdni), cuckhold (?), cheating, fingering, oral (m & f), double penetration, slight voyeurism, I think that’s it, 1.5K words
omg I can’t stop thinking about doctor!choso who specializes in making people cum & boyfriend!gojo making the appointment
It honestly started when satoru thought he broke your pussy… he’d edged you to the brink of exploding and when he finally craved guiding you to a sweet release— you couldn’t
he tried everything, toys, his fingers, his tongue, porn, but no matter what he did it never sufficed & you were pissed.
for some reason, you couldn’t push yourself to the edge either, which made your skills on the job suffer.
so much so that your boss had called you into their office to give you a couple of days off for a “cool down period”, with pay of course
which brings you to the website you’re staring at now, ‘ Kamo’s Magic House of Fingers ‘. the name sucked but the reviews were top notch
tojis-digbick : as a guy, dr. kamo made me cum buckets, hell I go at least twice a week ;)
utihim3 : people have said I was pent up, had my panties in a twist, and more degrading rude things, but dr. kamo untwisted my knickers! thank you, doctor!
naoya_z : even tho it’s not a lowly woman’s fist fucking my pristine cock, the doctor knows how to satisfy my needs. or whatever
your mouth salivates thinking about the relief this dr. kamo could bring you, persuading satoru to book your appointment by telling him he’d stay in the room.
now you sit here, or lay, on a soft mattress on a table. the room looked like any other clinic but seemed spacious.
there was a knock on the door, and I came what you assumed was dr. kamo. gojo stood to shake the man’s hand as you clenched your thighs together— the doctor was attractive.
wearing a tight black shirt that showed off all his assets, black slacks, and shoes with a white lab coat to it off. after shaking your boyfriend's hand he eyes your chart.
“good afternoon, Ms. y/n, I am Dr. Kamo, but you can call me Choso,” he starts smoothly, his deep voice rattling to your core.
“first off, I’m glad that you finished your paperwork online, most people forget,” he chuckled, “secondly, i see you are having a problem with intimacy in the bedroom?” he questioned, eyeing your wristband, double-checking to make sure he had the right patient.
you nodded your head in agreement, mind coming to terms with that in a few minutes, Choso would be in between your thighs. you could cum just at the thought.
choso smiles, making the black mark on his nose move, “well I hope I can help,” he starts, placing the clipboard down, and dimming the lights. “however on our privacy policy, we state that there cannot be any guests in the room with patients.”
your heart sinks, finally remembering satoru sitting by your head, “I’m very quiet, I swear I’m here for moral support!” He pleads, grasping your hand.
Choso hums, as if he’s thinking about bending his rules. “well I suppose he could stay, since it’s his mess that you’re here today, maybe he could learn something today,” he teased, keeping his heated gaze on you.
satoru scoffs, fixing his mouth for a response when he’s shushed by the doctor, “ah ah, remember quiet.”
your legs are propped up by the doctor as he slowly rolls your dress upwards past your hips. his eyes glancing at your features to make sure you’re still ok.
this makes your throb, panties dampening with every slight caress of his fingers on your skin.
“curtains open or closed, Ms. y/n?”
OPEN! you wanted to scream but the soft huff from satoru told you otherwise, you don’t think his ego could take another hit.
“closed please.”
another smile, then he disappears. you hear gloves being put on from the other side as you wait patiently for your session to start.
you’ve been panting and trying your hardest not to close your shaky thighs. your core clenching around nothing, feeling your wetness drip through your underwear.
Choso lazily rubs your clit, sometimes missing just to hear you whine, enjoying his job for the first time.
you were gorgeous, from top to bottom, and at this moment you were his.
he stops abruptly, pulling your soaked panties off your core, mouth wet as he sees the slick sticking to it.
on his side table, he looks at his various options of toys, wondering how much you could take, setting on a standard dildo.
he teases your folds, watching the fake dick collect your cream. “you sound so lovely,” Choso groans, slipping the tip in your hole.
you gasp clutching your breasts, face warm from his words. satoru rolls his eyes but palms his growing bulge. tempted to plunge his cock into your mouth.
doctor!Choso expertly moves the false dick, making sure to nudge your g-spot every so often. squelching sounds in the room as you moan, hips matching the pace of the doctor.
whatever it was doing felt so good, better than your fingers, way better than what gojo had tried. you moan louder, rolling against the toy that’s filling you to the brim.
“so good choso, keep going im almost there!” you squeaked, feeling something wet against your clit, almost like a mouth.
satoru stands up, swiftly pulling his pants and underwear down, cock hitting your chin. you moan louder seeing the deranged look on your boyfriend's face. he’s pissed.
opening your mouth, you relax your throat taking the harsh thrusts from both ends to take you. satoru gasps, feeling the tight pressure of your mouth soak his cock.
you whimper, feeling gojos palms around your tits, squeezing and tweaking your nipples, slowing his pace to cum down in your mouth. you gagged, struggling to take all his cum as he slips out your mouth.
after catching his breath he quietly slips out the door feeling triumphant, the thought that only he could cum in you.
“oh, so that’s the problem,” you hear, yes connecting with Choso’s, “he nuts too fast, no wonder he can’t satisfy you.”
you gasp, the curtain slightly open revealing the light pink that dusts the doctor's cheeks.
“is my assessment correct?” he chiles, still trusting the toy in your core, “hm? I need an answer.”
you moan a ‘yes’, leaning up to open the curtain more, “he hasn’t made me cum in months, please help me Choso.”
feeling bold, you take the toy out of your pussy, scooting to the edge of the table-bed, spreading your cunt with your fingers, “I’m begging.”
the doctor watches as your hole clenches still oozing onto the mattress under you. his cock twitches, ready to break another rule of his policy.
his laces his fingers with yours, flickering his eyes on your face as his head dips to lick your core. tongue collecting your slick as he circles your pearl.
you shudder, pushing your hips to his face, pleading for more.
he’d make you cum, a few times. with his tongue, his fingers, a few of his toys, and finally his cock that you were sitting on.
his job completed, yet he still can’t get enough of you, nor could you. after you came in his face he was stunned when it came with rain, soaking his coat and shirt. your hands pressed his face deeper into your core asking for more and more and more.
so insatiable, when you clenched around his fingers, unappeased when you felt the vibration bring a nudge against your g-spot, greedy when you pleaded for his cock.
he’s lucky that the door locks after someone leaves, fortunate that only he has the keys to the room, blessed that it’s soundproof, muffling your moans when you bounce on his lap, pussy sucking him in deeper, skin slapping when you come down.
he can’t remember when he took his coat and shirt off when his pants zipped down only revealing his aching member how your dress bunched around your waist, when your breasts bounced and covered with marks, but he thoroughly enjoyed this.
“one more Cho i swear,” you whined, grinning your hips against his, feeling every vein of his cock inside you, nudging your cervix.
he groans, circling his hips upwards, ready to cum inside you for the billionth time. “yea?” he’s breathless, slowly fucking you as you both arrive at the peak.
you moan once more latching your mouth on his, squirting on his lap, feeling his hot seed fill your hole.
Your heavy breathing subsides, feeling his cock soften, “fuck, that’s was amazing.” he groans lifting you and placing you on the bed.
gathering some warm wet wipes, he cleaned himself as well as you. opening a makeshift closet and finding another shirt and coat. he hands you your dress and smiles. “do you feel satisfied?
“I do, I was wondering if I could come back? just in case the treatment wears off,” you mumble, cringing at your poor excuse to see him again.
He chuckled, fishing a business card from his pocket. “here’s my personal card, call me when you need treatment.” winking walking about the room with his panties in your back pocket.
a/n2 : this was supposed to be short, damn.. oh well
@hoodjam-recs for more jjk content!!
#hoodjam 👤#gojo x reader#choso x reader#jjk x reader#jjk#jjk smut#jjk gojo#jjk choso#choso smut#gojo smut#satoru smut#jjk au#choso drabbles
412 notes
·
View notes
Note
I literally had to send this in or I would explode.
I keep imagining that one of the guys gets off work and goes to the grocery store right after. Reader needed something for dinner that she forgot to pick up when she was there the last time. He's busy grabbing whatever it is so he can go home faster.
He's almost done when this skimpy little bitch starts trying to talk to him. He's trying to be nice and just get her off his back so he can check out. Next thing you know she’s basically all over him.  She’s trying to touch them and get up on him.
Suddenly out of no where she is being pulled off of him. It's Reader who looks pissed. For a moment he thinks “Oh shit please don't think I was into this weird crazy chick that was just all over me.” he's surprised that within a split second she is right next to him, and now his wife is all over him.
“What the fuck where you trying to do to my HUSBAND?!?”
“Lol sorry but I didn't know he was married.”
Reader grabs his hand which has a thick wedding band on his finger, she puts her own ring next to it. She's fucking pissed pissed.
Reader then says “Yes he's married and his kid/a are at home waiting for him.”
(please I would die if it was Hawk or Miguel because Reader would be like “his twins / triplets”)(don’t worry someone is watching the kids while Reader is out, she meant to text him that she was going to go pick what they needed up herself last minute but clearly he didn’t get the text.)

The chick doesn’t even seem that bothered that she caused a scene in the grocery store trying to hit on a clearly married man.
Reader ends up checking them out and they hurry off to her car. Her husband is trying to explain what happened.
Reader doesn’t even care because the next minute she has his pants and boxers down and is sucking his dick from the passenger side. It’s sloppy and messy. Super loud and wet, filling the whole car with her loud slurping and gagging. She moans around him every other sexy while she licks and sucks how fat dick. His eyes are rolling back in no time as she works him over in her mouth. His eyes are basically rolling with a few good minutes. He busts a nut right in her mouth. She smirks as she pulls off him and is about to look him in the eye and swallow his nice fat load. But she looks outside the front car window and sees the chick from inside the store. It’s almost as if Reader had luck on her side when her and the woman make eye contact.
Reader looks her right in the eyes as she opens her mouth and shows of her husbands nice white cum on her tongue. She gulps it down before smirking and pulling her husband into a sloppy kiss.
The women is completely shocked and embarrass as she runs off to her own car.
Reader is just on a huge ego trip at this point.
Sensei-Venus✨💕
🤭🤭 @sensei-venus I haven't stopped thinking about this for the last 2 days and it's just- ahhhh! I love it. The way Reader takes control of the situation and puts the other lady in her place.
I can see Miguel and Demetri getting super uncomfortable in that sort of situation, not wanting to be rude to the woman or yell at her or anything like that, but just trying to ignore her. And when his wife sees how visibly uncomfortable he is, it fuels her anger because isn't it obvious her hubby is uncomfortable? You see how good he looks but you can't see how put off he is?
Robby would ignore her for a bit until it became unbearable. He'd put up his tough guy armor and tell her to buzz off, but she thinks he's just playing hard to get. Please take the hint. He's so tired of it by the time Reader pulls her off of him that he's visibly exhausted. Not to mention Robby's feelings around cheating and how he'd never do that to Reader. So he's just feeling icky, but no worries babe. Reader makes him feel so much better.
Hawk is annoyed to no end, but keeps.it underwraps because he doesn't wanna cause a bigger scene. He's stone cold the whole time this other lady is all over him, trying to shrug her off as if she were nothing more than a chip on his shoulder. He thinks it's pretty hot when his wife comes out of nowhere and looks ready to deck the lady, ngl. He's all for the little.revenge stunt too at the end, watching his wife stare the other woman down and showing off how good she makes him feel with a warm load in her mouth. He revels in his spiteful, grumpy wife so long as her anger isn't focused on him.
#eli moskowitz x chubby reader#eli moskowitz x reader#eli moskowitz smut#eli hawk moskowitz#eli moskowitz#hawk moskowitz x chubby reader#hawk moskowitz x reader#hawk moskowitz smut#hawk moskowitz#demetri alexopoulos smut#demetri alexopoulos x chubby reader#demetri alexopoulos x reader#demetri alexopoulos#robby keene x chubby reader#robby keene smut#robby keene x reader#robby keene#miguel diaz smut#miguel diaz x reader#miguel diaz x chubby reader#miguel diaz#cobra kai#cobra kai headcanons#cobra kai x reader#cobra kai x chubby reader#cobra kai x plus size reader#chubby reader#plus size reader#cobra kai smut#gemini sensei
290 notes
·
View notes
Note
Hey, hey, hey, hiii. How are you?
I like a lot your hadcanons and the way you write them and I loved it sm.
So, I was going to ask you if you could do some headcanons of how the xh guys would react to his s/o crying in bed trying not to let them know lol.
A/N:Thank you so much for requesting this was such a cute and comforting request so I really enjoyed writing it.
_________________________________________
XDH reacting to their s/o crying
_____________☆____________☆____________
Genre:fluff,headcanons
Pairings:OT6 x GN!reader
Pronouns:none
_____________☆____________☆____________
Gun-il
⋆｡ °✩ Gun-il would act confident but on the inside he wouldn't know what to do.
⋆｡ °✩ He would come home after a long day and he didn't find you in the living room where you would usually wait for him so he was a little confused.
⋆｡ °✩ He decided to check in your room where he found you laying down in your bed,your back facing the door,so he just assumed you fell asleep.
⋆｡ °✩ He decided to leave you to rest,when all of a sudden he heard sniffles coming from the bed.
⋆｡ °✩ Gun-il slowly approached the bed and sat next to you.
"You know I'm a great cuddler"He said staring off into the space
You just turned around and looked at him with confusion written all over your face.
"I mean if you want,we could cuddle and if you're comfortable we can talk about what's bothering you"
You just smiled at his attempt at comforting you and cuddled into his chest
"You really don't know how to do this,do you?"
"No,not really"
_____________☆____________☆____________
Jungsu
⋆｡ °✩ He is such a sweetheart.
⋆｡ °✩ He would offer to do anything for you,like he would be your personal helper.
⋆｡ °✩ You start to cough a little he all of a sudden has water in his hands,you start to sniffle,he has a tissue in his hands.
⋆｡ °✩ You can't hide your feelings from him,he can just feel the shift in the air when he comes home and you aren't waiting for him,so he is already prepared.
"Do you need anything else,baby"
"Jungsu,I can do it myself,I swear"
"No,you'll get whatever you want from me until I can see a big wide smile on your face."He said slowly lifting up the corners of your lips to make you smile.
____________☆_____________☆____________
Gaon
⋆｡ °✩ The protective bf part 1
⋆｡ °✩ This man would be ready to throw hands at whoever hurt you.
⋆｡ °✩ After seeing you crying his heart broke into million pieces
⋆｡ °✩ He would be the one needing more calming down then you would,to the point that you forget what you were upset about
"Calm down Gaon"
"I'm not gonna calm down until I find the person who hurt you"
"Hey,It's alright"You said coming up to him and rubbing his arms in a comforting way.
"Do you wanna cuddle?"
___________☆______________☆____________
O.de
⋆｡ °✩ Protective bf part 2
⋆｡ °✩ He would definitely be upset but not as much as Gaon is.
⋆｡ °✩ His first priority is to comfort you and then find a person who dared to hurt you.
⋆｡ °✩ But even when he is pissed he looks calm on the outside.
⋆｡ °✩ Whoever dared to hurt you better run because O.de will find them
"You are so cute,even when you cry"He said wiping your tears off.
"You are worth so much"
"You mean everything to me"
"I love you so much"
"Do you know where my baseball bat is?"
_____________☆____________☆____________
JunHan
⋆｡ °✩ He doesn't know what he's doing,but he is trying his best.
⋆｡ °✩ He is the type of person that would offer you water if you started crying(same tho)
⋆｡ °✩ He feels much better if you just throw yourself at him and hug him.
⋆｡ °✩ That way he can't mess up or be awkward
⋆｡ °✩ He would definitely give you back rubs
"Well personally I think you're amazing"JunHan said as he rubbed your back while your head was burried in his neck
"I'm glad you think so."
"How could I not,I mean you are the best thing that has ever happened to me"He pulled away from you to show you his reassuring smile.Which just made you want to kiss him...so you did ;)
____________☆______________☆___________
Jooyeon
⋆｡ °✩ His one and only priority is to comfort you.
⋆｡ °✩ Whatever he is doing he is leaving it to comfort you.
⋆｡ °✩ Much like Jungsu,he can just feel when you're feeling sad(he says it's bcs you are soulmates)
⋆｡ °✩ Really good at comforting and cuddling,when you put that together you get a perfect bf material
"You are so strong baby and I'm proud of whatever you do,don't you ever forget that." Jooyeon said squeezing you and showering you in his affection.
"I just love you so much"
"Jooyeon you're choking me"
"Sorry!!"
#xdinary heroes soft hours#xdinary heroes fluff#gaon xdinary heroes#xdinary heroes imagines#xdinary heroes x reader#gunil x reader#gunil soft hours#jungsu x reader#jungsu fluff#gaon x reader#gaon fluff#o.de x reader#ode x reader#oh seungmin#oh seungmin fluff#junhan x reader#junhan fluff#jooyeon x reader#jooyeon fluff#gunil imagine#jungsu imagine#gaon imagine#ode imagine#junhan imagine#jooyeon imagine
442 notes
·
View notes
Note
Hi there! can you do headcanons for the housewardens of Night Raven College finding out MC is a girl?
MC has short boyish looking hair (for example 👇)
And MC is always wearing a boy uniform around the school, so everyone there though MC was a boy. Except for Grim and Crowley.
Until one day, all of MC's other clothes were dirty, so she had to wear the out she was wearing when she got teleported to NRC.
Then Crowley asked MC to deliver something to one of the dorms. And when MC sees the surprise look on the housewardens' faces, she's just like "Yeah I'm a girl, but what's with that look? You and everyone else already knew that."
I’m so sorry you had to wait so long for this, my twst OC has a similar story to this lol
Dorm leaders + finding out reader is a girl
Riddle Rosehearts (chapter 1 spoilers, just wanna cover my tracks)
Riddle was completely blindsided. He had no idea that the NRC allowed girls to be in the school, but then realized that your case was a very special one.
He was a bit ashamed about having you witness his overblot. Not that he wasn’t before but his mother taught him to be nothing if not respectful to a girl. One of the only things she did right.
He started acting a bit more “gentlemanly” to make up for his previous blunder. He held the door open for you, offered to carry the items for you, it was kinda weird to say the least.
You had to tell him to dial it back and that you liked him the way he was before. That’s when he gets it through his mind that he was over exaggerating quite a bit.
“I apologize for my prior behavior. I-I mean, I’m sorry for assuming that you were a male. It was very crude of me.”
Leona Kingscholar
Leona had a bit of an idea that you weren’t a man but it wasn’t his place to comment, nor did he care all that much anyway. When you appeared in Savanaclaw, he was more amused than anything else.
He was glad his suspicions were confirmed, though he thought it amusing how you assumed it was common knowledge. Although just seeing how everyone treated you like one of the guys should’ve shown you otherwise.
He has Ruggie take whatever you were delivering, his family would kill him if they thought he was letting a woman do the heavy lifting. Ruggie is more than pissed.
Asks you if you plan to wear anymore “feminine” clothing after this. He doesn’t mind if you do or don’t, he just feels that it would be a very unique change of pace for an “all boys” college.
“Do you want to wear stuff like this more often? It’d be pretty funny seeing your friends react to your getup.”
Azul Ashengrotto
Azul was definitely caught off guard. He’s not gonna show it though, he pretends that everything’s fine even though he’s beyond confused.
He takes the updated menus from you and makes small talk with you while sorting them. Little things like how your day was, the weather, if you were always a girl or if he’s losing his mind.
Asks if being in the NRC has been a comfortable experience. It must be quite isolating being the only person in a dorm, the only magicless person and the only girl in this school. If you need anything, he’d be more than happy to make a deal with you.
Wonders if there’s anyone else that knows about you being a girl. When you tell him that you’ve only had to tell Crowley and Grim because you thought it was obvious he feels a small sense of pride being one of the few.
“Well then, please remember that if you need anything to make your life here easier, we at the Monstro Lounge are more than happy to assist.”
Kalim Al Asim
Kalim was taken by complete surprise when you showed up to Scarabia in that outfit. It’s hot as balls there so I don’t blame you tbh. He does the dramatic “WHAAAT” thing and everything.
Bombards you with questions. He doesn’t mean anything bad by it, he’s just confused about how this was right in front of him the whole time.
He has a bunch of sisters so he has a slight understanding on how girls differ from guys but he’s never had to use that info in his day-to-day life. He makes up for his lack of understanding the same way he deals with other things he has a hard time with; with pure enthusiasm.
Kalim asks if there’s anything you need, anything at all. From practical things like new clothes and food, to less normal requests like new pets or entertainment. Jamil overheard at this point and told him to relax.
“I can’t believe you’ve been a girl this whole time!! You definitely fooled me ya know!”
Vil Schoenheit
Vil had no idea you were a woman but he wasn’t going to let that change how he treated you. He still spoke to you like it was a normal day and and even insulted talked shit about Crowley not getting you enough clothing.
He’s honestly more offended about your lack of a closet. He refuses to let it go. He also offers to let you have some skincare products that didn’t work that well with him. He won’t be offended if you don’t accept his offer, if you were Epel that would be a different story however.
The rest of your visit is mostly him offering to help you in different ways, like going shopping for clothes with you or picking out different accessories for you to borrow. You’re lucky he likes you so much.
Like I said before, he doesn’t change much of how he treats you; you’re still the prefect of ramshackle after all. He knows you can handle his harsher demeanor.
“While you’re here, would you like to have some moisturizer that was sent for me to review? It’s unused and I despise letting things go to waste.”
Idia Shroud
Idia was completely surprised when you showed up to his dorm with a package. First of all, you were IN his dorm and secondly, YOU WERENT A DUDE??
Ortho had to come in and check up on his brother because he was staring into space for so long. Ortho knew you were a girl but that’s another can of worms. He’s fine physically but mentally will be something else for a while.
Your gonna have to talk to Ortho about whatever it is you needed to deliver, it’s pretty funny seeing the difference in their reactions.
Will not be able to form a coherent sentence for a while, he still needs to process that what he thought was true was actually a lie. He’s so dramatic
“There’s nothing wrong with you being a girl, but it’s just surprising seeing that it’s an all boys school. Not-that-there’s-anything-wrong-with-you-being-here-someone-please-shut-me-up.”
Malleus Draconia
Malleus also had absolutely no idea that you were a girl, but he doesn’t seem to be too shocked. Human fashions change very rapidly so he just assumed it was that.
Takes whatever you were delivering and offers for you to stay at the dorm for a little while longer. Lilia’s on cooking duty tonight and was really excited about you tasting his food. Run while you still can
The words he uses doesn’t change but the tone he uses is a little softer than before. He was raised to always treat a lady with respect. Even if he’s watched you deal with several overblots and have already earned his respect.
He wonders if all of the other students did know that you were a girl and this was just another thing he was left out on. You have to snap him out of his negative thoughts before he gets all grouchy for the rest of the day.
“Oh! My apologies, I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable. I was just unaware that I was the only one that didn’t know this about you.”
#twisted wonderland imagines#twisted wonderland x reader#twst x reader#twst imagines#riddle rosehearts x reader#twst riddle#riddle rosehearts#leona kingscholar x reader#twst leona#leona kingscholar#azul ashengrotto x reader#twst azul#azul ashengrotto#kalim al asim x reader#twst kalim#kalim al asim#vil schoenheit x reader#twst vil#vil schoenheit#twst idia#idia shroud x reader#idia shroud#twst malleus#malleus draconia#malleus draconia x reader
1K notes
·
View notes
Note
hi socks just wanna let u know i have been thinking about those vashwood as roommates headcanons and i always come back to it cz it’s somehow??? so comforting??? 10/10 chef’s kiss thank u!
it's honestly my comfort au-- so here's a part two ! (here's part one)
Having Vash and Wolfwood as roommates would include(part two);;
warnings;; I included some nsfw headcanons this time. they're at the end and have a warning. This also has a bit of fighting/angst that ends in fluff
notes: i have a couple of fics in the work for this au. let me know if there any big moments you would like to see written out into a full fic! (also possibly a knives spin off??)
Their jobs/majors
I kind of feel like Vash is studying in the science department. Specifically something that has to do with plant science? Botany, Environmental science, maybe even biology? I know it’s a little on the nose but I really do think it would work perfectly for him
Maybe he even opens up his own little flower shop in the future??
No matter what he has a lot of labs and he is always tired after them.
He probably has a part-time job as a barista at a little cafe on campus
No thoughts just Vash in a cute little apron
He’s a fan favorite among the college kids. They say he makes the best coffee, and he sometimes gives people little freebies when they look sad
His manager Meryl actively yells at him for it, but she doesn’t actually care that much.
He ALWAYS will give you freebies if you come in to visit him. He gets a free drink as an employee, and he’ll save it for you just in case you come in. Sometimes he’ll even take it to go and drop it off for you
Wolfwood gives huge phycology vibes. Mans had a messed up childhood and wants nothing more than to help other people through that stuff
Either that or he’s an art student. I can see that too
He takes school very seriously, but he is horrible at math. He cannot divide to save his life. He’s had to retake his math class like three times
His job? Well nobody knows and at this point everyone is too scared to ask. (He’s a security guard lol)
Whatever it is, he hates it. He comes home grumpy and needs lots of hugs and kisses.
He’ll be all pouty and pissed off, and then you’ll give him a little kiss on the cheek and a small smile will break out
Bonus; Knives is on the track to becoming a surgeon. I will die on the hill that he is going into the medical field. (he’d look so good in scrubs) and i know McDonalds knives is kind of funny, but I'm thinking he’s actually and EMT. Imagine getting hurt and having Knives be your first responder (id die on the spot)
First Date
It’s not really a date- well you don’t call it a date. Vash just walks in with a couple of free tickets to a haunted house event thing and asks if you and Wolfwood want to come
You’re like hell yeah
The drive there is like the calm before the storm. You listen to some music, seated in front with wolfwood driving. He definitely has his hand on your thigh. Vash is super excited about finally doing something that isn’t getting high and playing games
You all thought it was gonna be some dumb little spooky house. They’re never that scary. It’s just fun to see all the decorations and actors
Oh boy were you wrong
It’s so well put together. The actors are really into it, and they have amazing make up. When you’re standing in line, some clown girl walks up to Vash and you watch the regret build up on his face. The guy is already terrified
The first hallway is pitch black, and you have to rely on a feeling your way through it. Vash is mumbling about how much he hates it the entire time
Wolfwood is like “Don’t worry guys I’ll protect you.” And then proceeds to let out the loudest scream when the lights come on and there’s a girl dressed up as a ghost standing there
Soon all three of you are huddled up, holding hands, and shaking
These things should not be that scary!!!
It’s Vash who gets you kicked out
He gets so spooked that he runs into a bunch of boxes and knocks one of the fake walls down. The entire thing has to stop to fix it
You’re all banned
After that you go eat pancakes and complain about how scary it was
When things get tense
Fights can happen sometimes
None of you are perfect, and those boys have gone through some shit
Vash tends to shut himself away from you when he’s upset. He doesn’t come out of his room, and when he does he pretends like he’s fine.
He doesn’t like burdening other people with his problems.
Eventually it just starts to feel like he doesn’t trust you enough to let you in. SIt gets really bad when he tells you to go away one day, and you watch Wolfwood walk into his room 30 minutes later
It doesn’t really turn into a fight. You just get sad, and even a little insecure. So, you avoid him back. Not because you’re vengeful, just because you feel hurt
A few days of the two of you not talking and Vash is in tears by your door
He begs for forgiveness and explains why he’s like this
You tell him it’s okay, but what he does really hurt you. He promises to work on it, and he does
That night the two of you make up for loss time
Wolfwood and you fight a lot more
Most of the time it’s silly little arguments that you solve pretty fast
Wolfwood is bad at communicating in general. But especially when it comes to his feelings
He has really bad days sometimes, and he can get grumpy really fast these days, and one day you really piss him off
He won’t tell you what you did though, he just gives you the cold shoulder
That pisses you off because you’d so be willing to talk it out and apologize, but he won’t tell you what you did
So you’re mad now too
Things are tense between you too, and it all comes to an end on movie night when you start arguing about what movie to watch
You want to watch one of your favorite movies from your childhood and he says that it’s a stupid movie
Things get heated fast, while Vash just disappears into the background. He that the two of you need to workout your problems on your own (but he really wants to intervene)
When the tears start falling, Wolfwood immediately stops
He takes a breath, and the two of you sit down and just talk.
You talk ALL night about what happened, and what the two of you could have done better. In the end, you fall asleep on his chest while he plays with your hair.
You have movie night the next night to make up for it, and he puts the movie you wanted to watch in before you can even talk about it ( he ends up loving the movie and after that you two watch it all the time)
Id have to make an entire other thing for when Vash and Wolfwood fight because it’s no fun for anyone
NSFW stuff
After the three of you finally get past the awkward stages and start fucking, you find out these two are…horny
They’ll grab you and go to town any time
They really like to share you, but there’s no jealousy in the relationship so it’s okay for one on one time as well!
Wolfwood will pull you into steamy make out sessions whenever. He’ll do it out of nowhere. I imagine he just really likes you, and can’t get enough
He’s very handsy. He’ll constantly have his hand on your hips, or your thigh, and your waist. He likes touching you
He’s the type to sneak risqué touches in public. He like watching you struggle to not let anyone else know what he’s doing
Quickies everywhere with Wolfwood
Vash is a lot more loving (not that Wolfwood isn’t loving– he probably has cried during sex)
Vash takes his time though. He wants every moment with you to be special. He likes to do stuff like rubbing your back, and peppering kisses down your shoulders. He’ll run his hand up your shirt, and kiss your neck softly. He builds up to it
He really likes shower/bath sex. It’s intimate and relaxing
He also like when you take control (i know he’s a whimperer)
He is so bad at any type of public sex though. He gets embarrassed way too easily (and i think Wolfwood has fun with that)
When the three of you do it together it’s fucking electric
#wolfwood x reader#vash x reader#nicholas d wolfwood x reader#vash the stampede x reader#vashwood x reader#wolfwood headcanons#vash headcanons
225 notes
·
View notes
Note
Hellooo!! Could I plz have Hajime Hinata, Kazuichi Soda and Kokichi (maybe) with an reader that acts like Hiyoko?? :3 (doesn't necessarily hate Mikan, they are just mean lol) ty :D
Sure! I hope you enjoy, and thank you for requesting!
Hajime, Kazuichi, and Kokichi with a s/o who's like Hiyoko
Warnings: None
Hajime Hinata
-Bros a bit concerned ngl
-Like, why do you say the things you say? Who hurt you?
-He's conflicted, half of him wants to defend whoever you're attacking, but the other half is really curious how the conversation will play out
-If you're being rude to someone like Maharu or Mikan, he'll probably step in if he feels you've taken it to far because they don't really deserve the shit you give them
-But if you're going after someone like Teruteru or Nagito... he sees nothing
-Living embodiment of "I pretend I do not see"
-Straight up won't let you fight with Akane or Nekamaru, he would rather you stay out of the hospital
-Does try to calm you down in most situations, as he isn't big on conflict and he doesn't want you to insult the wrong person
-He doesn't tolerate people attacking you in return, however he does sometimes remind you that it wouldn't happen if you didn't stir up random fights
-He does feel pretty honored if you start a insulting someone who was dissing him though
-Don't get me wrong, he still dislikes conflict and will try to deescalate the situation, but he might let it go on longer than normal because he enjoys having someone stick up for him
-Hajime isn't the best at standing up for himself, so he feels a little honored that you are so eager to defend him, especially since you don't defend people often
-He's the one person you don't relentlessly insult and he appreciates that
-You guys balance each other out pretty well, the chill boyfriend and his feisty s/o
Kazuichi Souda
-Lowkey kinda scared to piss you off
-He's got low self esteem and you're pretty good at targeting peoples insecurities, so he's careful not to make you mad
-Not that you would target him because you love him too much, but he's still cautious
-Absolutely will not involve himself in any of your fights, he doesn't want to get caught in the middle of it
-It's not because he thinks it's funny to watch your target get verbally decimated definitely not-
-Unless you're bullying Nagito, in which case he will actively participate alongside you
-It's a funny sight to see because he's not great with coming up with meaningful insults on the spot but he tries
-If someone's coming at him he will hide behind you because he knows you'll defend his honor
-And as much as he hates conflict, if anyone says shit about you he will defend you with his life
-The mans a simp, and nobody makes fun of his partner on his watch
-He does appreciate that you're nicer to him then pretty much anyone else, it makes him feel special
Kokichi Ouma
-A match made in heaven (or hell)
-Totally joins in on ganging up on people with you, why bully people by yourself when you can do it with your s/o?
-Makes it a competition to see who can piss off the most people in one day
-He thinks it's funny that you both do the fake crocodile tears thing when people retaliate
-You too will playfully get into fights and insult matches with each other, but it's only for fun, its never malicious
-If your around the same height as Hiyoko, people call you two the ankle biters
-Naturally, you two make a lot of enemies around the school, so you have to defend each other quite often
-If you think Kokichi's mean normally, you should see how bad he gets when someone insults you
-He removes whatever miniscule filter he had before, and he goes in on them HARD
-That person will never bother the two of you again, in fact they probably avoid you two like the plague
-Kokichi definitely recruits you into DICE, most of the members have similar personalities to him, so you all get along quite well
-A terrifying duo, but you love each other and that's all that really matters
#x reader#danganronpa#danganronpa x reader#hajime x reader#hajime hinata x reader#kazuichi x reader#kazuichi souda x reader#kokichi x reader#kokichi ouma x reader#hiyoko saionji#hajime hinata#kazuichi souda#kokichi ouma
168 notes
·
View notes
Note
I LOVED UR GAMER SNK MEN HCS!! what about reader as a gamer 👀??
SNK MEN WITH GAMER!READER
starring: Eren, Jean, Armin, Connie, Porco, Reiner, Levi, Zeke
rating: mostly sfw! 18+
notes: Thanks so much for the request!! My first ask (‘: I added some of the other men because even though they might not understand video games, they can still support their partner hahah. Is there anyone else you guys would want to see included in these headcanons? Erwin? Bertholdt? Should I do some with the ladies? Let me know! Thanks for your continued support(:
EREN:
If you’re on the same team he’s supporting you 100%, doing whatever he can to help you out if you’re getting targeted or something
If you get killed? He’s going after the fucker who took you out at least ten times (or until you tell him it’s okay you’ve respawned!! He can chill!!)
But if you’re playing against him? Good luck because he’s going to target you hahah
He thinks it’s cute how whiny you get when he snipes you or gets you with his ultimate
“Sorry, (y/n), you gotta be better than that”
This man is so cocky oh lord
Secretly, when you get him back he gets so flustered? But you can’t tell because he just scoffs and tells you that he let you get him
Man’s is sportin a boner through under his desk lmao!! It’s hot seeing you take control what can I say
He invites you to the discord but then immediately regrets it because Jean will constantly try and talk about you
Jean is a homie! But he thinks you’re cool and it pisses Eren off whenever he asks you to check your dms so it’s a win-win (he just sends you memes lol)
Eren’s friends are all chill with you playing but he still likes to remind them that you’re dating
“Eren did you fucking set my house on fire” “that’s what you get for giving (y/n) a flower dumbass” “bro they needed it to make DYE you idiot”
You guys have a minecraft house together and it’s super cute! Eren will definitely let you decorate while he collects materials for you. Or you both will go on adventures together(:
If you’re playing alone he’s super supportive too! Totally down with you having time with your friends online
In between his matches with the boys he’ll come up behind you and kiss your head, not wanting to interrupt too much
But sometimes he’ll fully move your headset off of one ear and start backseat gaming
“You should use your ultimate after your teammate uses theirs. Theirs will freeze the enemy and then your pure damage will take them out… okay good now go over here and—“
After your matches he’s super affectionate ahhh
Wraps his arms around you from behind and plants a big ol’ kiss on your cheek
“M’girl did so good!!”
JEAN:
He’d be a touch cringey lmao
Insists on you both having his-and-hers desk-mats. Gives you a custom mousepad with a picture of you both on it for your birthday and the image turns out kind of wonky
He’s be heartbroken if you don’t use it though!! So you better
One day you come home and he’s rearranged half the apartment so you can have a gaming room together with your desks facing each other
But this ends terribly bc he can be too loud sometimes and he gets distracted by you
Invites you to the discord and then asks you privately if you can coordinate your nicknames online to be like “his (y/n)” and “her Jean” AA
The others never stop giving him shit for it
But he loves you! And he’s so glad you have this hobby in common
Might get a little salty about you playing with your friends without him
If you have a full team that’s fine!! But if he finds out you have a random on your team…
“Why didn’t you ask me to join?” “Babe you were in the middle of your own match!!” “So? I could have quit and joined >:(“
Probably super friendly with your friends and playgroup! Will happily hop on and play with y’all and he behaves himself
Not oblivious to the fact that some of your friends might think he’s cute/flirt with him a little bit?? But he’s confused because he has you so why are they talking to him like that
Doesn’t confront them but shuts them down respectfully(:
“No I can’t give you flowers because these ones are for (y/n) I’m surprising her with them because I love her!! I’m sure you can find your own though(:”
If you’re playing DOTA or League together he’s still garbage :( sorry hahah
Gets flustered by playing with you and then fucks up more
“Babe, can you come help me? The guys keep ganging up on me”
But he is SO PROUD OF HIMSELF whenever he can help you out!!
“Don’t worry, princess, I’ve got your back” “Dude you died four times just trying to get to (y/n)” “Shut the fuck up, Connie”
While you’re gaming you’ll reach for your drink and see it’s miraculously filled up? And there’s a little piece of your favorite candy next to it? You turn around and just see Jean sneaking back over to his desk oh lord
ARMIN:
surprise surprise, he is a total sweetheart
You two probably play a lot together just the two of you before he invites you the join their discord?
He just thinks there’s something really intimate about you both playing games together, without others
And you still definitely do that!! Armin would be the type of guy who would invite you to play games with him hahah
“Hey, (y/n)? I was wondering if you’d want to maybe play Civ 6 with me tomorrow night? Maybe we can make dinner together beforehand!”
He is the best player 2 when you guys play games, especially story games!
But similar to Eren, if you guys are on opposite teams he will show no mercy :)
“Sorry! I can’t help it” “Armin you literally CAN you’re looking for me to kill me” “oops! I’ll go easy on you, my bad!”
He never goes easy on you
He’s the best player out of his friends but he probably isn’t on every night like Eren and Connie are hahah. The nights he is on though he’s on all night!
If you stay up with him, expect super lazy mornings where you slip out of bed past noon and make pancakes together
Expect super lazy afternoon-sex where he just kind of lies on top of you LMAO, gently holds you and cradles you underneath him as he buries his face into your neck, you’re both so tired from a night of gaming but he loves getting to spend that time with you
If he’s reading or doing homework and you’re gaming, he leaves you be!
He thinks it’s important to have privacy and alone time (and he’s right)
But he’ll also come up to you after your game ends, put his hands on your shoulders and ask how your match went!
If you ask him to coach you during a match he’s actually super supportive and helpful? Unlike if you’re playing a co-op game with him hahah
He also probably likes getting to train you and teach you! He wants you to be the best(:
If he’s feeling particularly clingy he’ll just move a chair to sit next you your gaming desk and read next to you lmao
Not even talking or distracting you! He just finds the keyboard clicks and your voice calming
Okay I want to make random college headcanons for the boys should I ever write a fic, and Armin would also make models?? I’m thinking warhammer or DnD ones (DnD with the squad headcanons? 👀) imagine him with a headlamp and big ol’ glasses so he can get a detailed paint job!
And he’d custom make a model of your main in their costume and surprise you with it on your anniversary! It takes him weeks to make :')
CONNIE:
omg he’d be an ass
You know those memes about the pick me characters? He’d jokingly accuse you of that
“Idk do you really know how to play COD? Or are you just trying to hang with the bros” “Connie I literally kicked your ass last night what do you mean” “Fair point”
Probably just teases you a lot during the games in general
“Babe if you press Q while holding your diamond pickaxe it’ll make you mine obsidian faster” “Wait (y/n) don’t that’ll throw your pickaxe into the la—"
Seconds later: *conniespringaa tried to swim in lava*
In a match those he’s actually the most supportive I’d argue? He totally lets you do your thing, whereas Armin and Eren might still have you try and follow their lead
“Where you goin’, mama? Damn atta girl! I’ve gotcha, don’t worry (y/n)” literally just follows you around the map to be backup and to hype you up!
In my last set of hcs Connie was a streamer! If you also streamed he’d be obsessed with doing those fun collabs with you
Either that or he’d be like “ew guys this weirdo is trying to join my discord call rn lemme see what she wants— hello? Do I know you? Always happy to meet a fan but how did you get my discord?”
Idk why he thinks pretending he doesn’t know you is the funniest thing ever?? You guys start a new match with his friends and suddenly he spends the whole game chirping at you
“Damn mama where have you been all my life? You got a man? Why don’t you let me get your number, I bet you look fine as hell in real life” “Connie if you don’t shut the fuck up right now I’m going to lose it”—Eren
He’s so much fun to play story games with though! I’m thinking Detroit: Become Human
He’ll sit next to you and let you control things and he’ll do voices for the characters (he’ll even turn down the game voices so he can impersonate the characters instead)
Makes Connor and the other androids it sound like literal robots, add in extra comments, etc
Honestly I think Connie would be the best at voices? He does super great impressions of his friends and will share them a lot on discord while you’re all playing minecraft, to their dismay :)
Sometimes if he isn’t playing with you he’ll just send you a DM asking you to stream so he can watch? So cute
Too embarrassed to ask you in person but you just got used to streaming on discord now so he can hop on and watch from his computer
PORCO:
I feel like he’s pretty independent when it comes to gaming ngl so when he finds out you are a gamer he just kind of like “oh word? Cool”
Since he plays a lot of games like FIFA and GTA, he usually plays those while you do your thing
Idk why but I also feel like he would be the type of guy to have a spotless apartment? Takes pride in his cleanliness so he’s usually cleaning the apartment while you game
Which is okay with him! He likes hearing you talk to your friends
To him, gaming is kind of his thing to do when he wants to be alone? Even when he’s playing with other people it’s kind of like his private time
So when you’re playing with your friends he lets you have space!
He and Jean are probably the two gamers who would want to spend more time with you outside of the apartment doing things anyway!
But if you want to play with him he’s totally down!
He’s a pretty casual gamer but you can still expect him to get heated, especially if he thinks someone is targeting you or cheating
“No, Porco it’s okay! I made a bad play that’s all” “no (y/n) there’s no way he could have hit you from there, something’s going on”
He will make dinner while you’re gaming and surprise you with it after your match! Even though you can smell it from your desk lmao
“C‘mon, dummy, it’s getting cold,” he’ll call out and gestures to the chair he’s holding out for you
He scoots you in once you’ve sat and he asks you about how your matches are going
If you lost he’ll slide your dessert away from you and then say “sorry, winners only” 😐😐
He’s still not the most active when it comes to their DOTA or League games, but he invites you in to play with his friends so it’s okay!
Eventually he starts to insists on you being in their discord call while they’re playing just so that he can talk to you while you’re playing your own solo game or something!
Don’t get me wrong he still likes his private gaming time and thinks you deserve your own gaming time! But he quickly warms up to the idea of you being together and sharing that time together
REINER:
Okay I love Reiner to pieces yeah? But this man does not understand video games before he meets you
He just doesn’t understand the point??
“Why not just go outside and do something, love?”
He’ll comfort you if you get emotional playing a game like the Last of Us, but then he’ll ruin it by saying “I mean, they’re all dead when you think about it, yeah? They've never actually been alive! They’re not real, sweetie”
But he’s trying to comfort you I promise
I think if there was a game you could get him to play it would be a Dark Souls/Elden Ring type game! I think the dramatic music and fight scenes would pique his interest as he walks past your desk
After watching you fight Malenia or something he says he’ll give it a try
And then he loses to the Tree Sentinel and you have to comfort him. “Babe, that’s kind of the point, you have to go and level up first!” He thought he could impress you oh lord
Otherwise he’d love to watch you play Stardew Valley! Loves the characters and thinks that the heart events are super special
You might be able to convince him to start his own game of Stardew Valley, but he’s busy a lot and feels guilty about ‘abandoning them’, so he prefers to watch you play!
Will also cook you dinner and make sure your water is full while you play! He likes to watch you play and loves seeing you all happy when you’re winning
Sometimes he will try and hug you while you’re playing because he loves seeing you do something you love, but then you have to remind him that you’re in the middle of a game!
“So how was your game!” “It was good! Eren always plays aggro so he took most of the attention away from me!” “There’s a character named Eren in your game? Huh,” it takes him a second to understand that you’re playing with REAL PEOPLE
LEVI:
Just like Reiner (honestly all of these men who don’t understand video games) he doesn’t see the point? Like why not go outside and do something?
Kind of rolls his eyes at the games you play despite him not knowing about them
But he secretly takes pride in the fact that you’re sometimes the one taking control and bossing the others around
He’ll hear you tell Eren to shut up so you can focus and he’ll sneak behind you and peer over your head, maybe smooth out your hair a bit to let you know he’s there
You can talk to him about your games and he’ll listen but he’ll definitely not understand any of it
He’ll respond with a lot of “Ah”s and “Oh, I see” and “..is that good or bad?”
Silently brings you tea when you’re playing late and will usually stay up reading on the couch while you do! He’s a classy guy, likes to go to bed with you
Sometimes he’ll fall asleep on the couch so you have to wake him up :(
He just kind of shuffles over and wordlessly invites you to sleep with him there, cradled in his arms on the couch
I don’t think there’s any way you could get him to play a video game though, sorry
This is Levi Ackerman, who doesn’t understand how twitter works hahah
If you get upset over a loss he doesn’t really know how to comfort you, but he’ll kind of sneak over and mutter something like “that kid’s a bastard anyway” and kiss your head
ZEKE:
Will straight up tell you to go outside and touch grass if he thinks you’ve been inside too long
He’ll pick you up from your desk and try and carry him out to go on a walk with him or something after a match lmao!
Will ask you what is so exciting about your games and why you’d rather do that than do something with him :( poor Zeke
But he just says those kinds of things to get a rise from you lmaoo! He’s glad you have some hobby because it lets him also have private time, like Porco I think Zeke would like some space to do his own thing every now and then
Or maybe he’s just busy and glad you can keep yourself busy? I headcanon him to be going into a medical field like his dad! So Dr. Jaeger knows that you won’t be too lonely while he’s at work
You can get him to play surgeon simulator when he’s in a good mood. He thinks it’ll be easy. Ooh boy
He doesn’t become addicted or anything but when he fails, he insists that he can do it and he’s trying again. And again. And again.
Genuinely likes seeing you have a hobby and is impressed with your ability to balance your responsibilities and have time to unwind with a game
Likes to see you kill Eren in whatever game you’re playing, even minecraft hahah
Judges you for playing animal crossing though? Sorry he thinks it’s a kids game?
“…So you owe the raccoon money, huh?” 😐
You tell him he’d be a grumpy villager and he ruffles your hair before walking away with a huff hahah
Thanks again for the ask and your support! Ngl my ex boyfriend was a shitty gamer like he would ignore me a lot so this is my therapy now, imagining better gamer boyfriend scenarios for my attack on titan men :) hahah but thanks again for reaching out I hope I did it justice!
As always, thanks for reading! Feel free to drop an ask for more!
#eren jaeger#jean kirschtein#armin arlert#connie springer#porco galliard#reiner braun#Levi ackerman#zeke jaeger#eren jaeger x reader#jean kirschtein x reader#armin arlert x reader#connie springer x reader#porco galliard x reader#reiner braun x reader#Levi Ackerman x reader#zeke jaeger x reader#snk#shingeki no kyojin#snk boyfriends#attack on titan#attack on titan x reader#imagines#headcanons#ask#mine#gamer au#gamer series
344 notes
·
View notes
Note
I hear anon's pain, but as a VERY dysphoric trans guy who needed both hormones and top surgery to finally feel stable emotionally, it saddens me that anon is shit talking non-dysphoric trans ppl.
One of the people who helped me the most while I recovered from surgery is a non-dysphoric person. They're not our enemy. They're our siblings. It sounds like you've had some terrible experiences with extremists, and I am pissed off for you that someone could say such hurtful things, but becoming the opposite extreme is not helpful. Everyone deserves to have access to gender affirming care, but some people simply don't want medical interventions. And that's also okay.
I'll give a few examples that were key to making me step away from the transmed mentality:
1) I talked with a post-transition woman who had sought all the treatment she wanted. She was non-dysphoric (for the most part - visiting family was hard). I had always been told that dysphoria was a requirement to me trans, but she helped me understand that, once your gender is affirmed enough, the dysphoria doesn't occupy so much of your mind. Dysphoria is not what makes someone trans. Misery is not all we are.
2) My closest friend briefly believed themselves to be trans and sought HRT. She loved some of the effects of testosterone, specifically bottom growth. It helped them reclaim a part of their body that felt dysphoric due to trauma. However, she decided to stop taking T because she identified more with womanhood than manhood. My understanding is that they still feel more androgynous than a cis woman, but do not consider herself to be trans. She did detransition, but not in a transphobic TERFy way. This taught me that being trans is also not a requirement for gender dysphoria. Medical intervention helps cis folks too.
3) After I had been on hormones a while, my gender evolved. I considered myself a man for a long time, while I was steeped in transmed ideology. But when I first heard of being trans, the label I felt drawn to was genderfluid. But as I became an older teen, I settled on being a trans man because I so desperately wanted to be called masculine terms. To have a flat chest, a beard, and deeper voice. But as I started gaining more of these traits, I felt myself wanting to have androgynous features too. Now I call myself by multiple labels. Trans guy, transmasculine, and nonbinary are the "offical" terms I use, but in a sense I still like the genderfluid label! I just never feel like a woman or a girl, unless the song "girls just wanna have fun" comes on, but that's another story lol. But usually I feel fluid in my masculinity. I'm just some guy, but I'm not a man. These days I even do drag! I could never have imagined being this way when I was a transmed, because all I saw was gender as a medical thing that had to be treated. Having fun with my gender made me happier, and I'm so glad I didn't force myself into the "male box"
I may not admittedly understand all xenogenders or neopronouns or whatever else. But I don't have to understand to respect it. As long as they're not actively causing harm, then it's not a problem. The people who have said hurtful things to you ARE a problem, but not inherently because of their gender. They're a problem because they're causing harm. Don't make things worse by causing harm back to others. Break the cycle!
!!!!
#jean i genuinely have nothing to add here you've hit the nail on the head and i appreciate your words as always#asks#rainbow-lizard#long post /
57 notes
·
View notes
Text
ofmd s2e1 rewatch where i pause to jot down my thoughts and other random shit
not quite a reaction post bc i've already watched the whole thing. not quite a liveblog bc it's one post and it's probably gonna take me a full hour to get through a 28 minute episode at the rate of pausing and typing i'll be doing
s2e1, s2e2, s2e3, s2e4, s2e5, s2e6, s2e7, s2e8
anyway, pirate time:
i love how much fun con is having choking on his own blood
dream!stede's extremely teary face right before he takes off running down the beach is doing psychic damage to me
also dream!stede's stupid ridiculous outfit with all the long ribbons and shit...
ed and stede make contact so hard shjfkhsgjkfd the loud OUGH sounds from both of them
also the return of ed's old beard! i didnt expect to see her at all this season, so that was a surprise.
"babe" "love" im tearing out my own hair
stede has yet to learn that ripping ass near your beloved can be a love language
stede is a terrible fucking roommate just deal with wee john's gas in silence like the rest of them. goddamn.
WHO HAS THE OUR FLAG MEANS DEATH TRAMP STAMP. WHO IS THAT.
i like when the background OST is familiar to me lol the little strings when stede starts his letter throwing me back to s1
olu: that–that's the swede
the swede: Im the swede
roach: he's single ;)
me: *pissing my pants with laughter*
also the direct confirmation that the swede literally doesn't have a name. incredible
shjkfhdhfkj the crew encouraging him. stede's "it's okay" and roach "be brave" im CRYINGGGGG
stede doing customer service is something that can be so personal. "reservation?" "eat my fuckin' shit" "right! walk-ins, then" average restaurant experience
the random background guy saying "my favorite hand!" abt getting stabbed in the hand is making me giggle. i love the humor on this show
why does stede have so much shoulder movement going on when he's walking through the bar. whore behavior.
"this is for mom!" sorry but i want to know more abt whatever's going on there
also the purple mohawk. dope.
buttons is so distressed LET HIM RETURN TO THE SEA THESE CONDITIONS ARE INHUMANE
"i know the odds of you finding this are slim but so were the odds of us finding each other in the first place" IM RIPPING OFF MY OWN SKIN
also stede's lil sad hopeful smile after throwing the bottle... i care him
i love how they make this wedding fucking suck so we don't feel too bad abt the whole massacre thing. "the natural condition of humanity is base and vile. it is the obligation of people of standing, such as yourselves, to elevate the common human rabble through the sacred transaction of matrimony" if i was at a wedding and the officiant said that i'd also start killing people probably
yayy murder montage :)
FANG BREAKING THAT GUY'S SPINE OVER HIS KNEE
the whole cake scene is so fucking funny im sorry. i love u jim drawing the line at attacking a shitty wedding. i love u archie who wasn't here for the good old days so you dont really see a problem with how things are. i love u frenchie with ur box in ur brain that u never open again. i love u fang it's gonna get better i swear. i love u frenchie again bc u just took the cake right out of fang's hands while he was fucking sobbing hfjhgkjhdkjkf
I MISS IVAN JUSTICE FOR IVAN. wish they could've said he'd just fucked off somewhere instead of dying but i think that would've raised the question of why hasn't anyone else fucked off since they all seem so miserable
very relieved that stede isn't taking the racist/antisemitic caricature drawings of ed to make like a boyfriend scrapbook like some people were theorizing. would've been overkill if after episode 4 from last season stede still didn't realize that ed hated these sorts of depictions of him.
INTERESTING DETAIL THO the background music in this scene is "a pirate's life" aka the song frenchie sang in the pilot. it's an instrumental version obviously but yeah i recognize that tune
also more cool background ppl with dyed hair man i love this show
zheng yi sao flirting with olu is so good. he deserves it.
how nice of ed to offer his drugs to the crew. sharing is caring.
also it's so funny to me that the thing izzy is tormented by is ed saying "you can't do the job, someone else will" the toe thing's happened three times and apparently that was fine but the thing the show edits together right before izzy breaks down into the most pathetic aheemheem whimpers isn't any of that it's ed threatening to fire him
also they cut ed throwing knives at izzy!! what the hell.
releasing the clip of izzy crying kinda ruined it for me when it came time to watch it in the show bc i watched it several times since it dropped and now seeing it in context i was like "ok i've seen this already fast forward." i mean i didnt fast forward through it but i did kinda zone out bc i've seen this bit already. this post kinda sums up my thoughts on it
"trifling ingrate plan" dshkjfshgdskhfjkhgkjh
"SEMI-CLEAN WATER"
JACKIE CALLING THE SWEDE "BOO CAKES"
"i know that guy we had breakfast together!" "you'll be having a lot of breakfasts-es together" "oh, okay" i fucking love this whole dynamic like i can tell they're writing the swede out of most of the episodes for budget reasons (sorry nat faxon) but by god do they give him such an excellent fucking send-off. can't wait to see him again when he's in his trophy husband number 20 era
roach is upset abt not being able to cook, buttons is tied up so he doesn't go running back to the sea (i assume). stede you are not giving your crew the environment they need to thrive.
olu being an optimist :)
buttons opens his mouth to drink the rain and in the background u can see roach yanking the rope around buttons back fhdjskgfjhgkjfh STEDE YOUR SEA WITCH CANNOT THRIVE IN THESE CONDITIONS
stede tries to make things sound good in his bottle letters to ed but out loud he says his actual insecurities... it's so fucking tasty tho that he thinks ed could be doing better without him and THAT'S why he's been stalling so much. not afraid for his life even a little bit he just assumes he's not wanted. brb i have to cry now
"im sorry if that's a little bit creepy" "you are creepy" in this scene where they're soaked from the rain. ofmd said this prince ricky guys is creepy and wet.
stede's fucking FACE when prince ricky says "you're my hero" his fucking "clearly you dont own an air fryer" face I CANT STAND HIMMMMMM (affectionate)
prince ricky "these rubes" "men of our standing" yeah i cant fucking stand this guy (derogatory) i love how he's barely even in this episode
stede's face when the swede is talking abt how happy he is with jackie... my man believes in love so much im gonna cry
also in what fucking way does the swede owe them a life debt. roach and buttons literally tried to eat him
izzy's "you know me better than anyone knows me and i daresay the same about you" this is literally so false i dont even know where to begin. izzy in e6 being like "if i didnt know any better i'd think maybe ed might possibly maybe be actually enjoying bonnet's company" while ed and stede are giggling and making each other friendship bracelets. this guy doesn't know ed at all.
also i cant get over how izzy wont make eye contact he's like staring blankly into the middle distance delivering these lines so flatly until he goes to say "i have... love for you" and in that moment he looks like he'd rather ed were feeding him more toes.
"im worried about you, we all are" not gonna lie my dude you've had a weird way of showing it thus far. where was all that worry when you told him he was better off dead than wearing a robe and singing songs?? where was that fucking love then?
and NOW izzy wants to talk it through. izzy literally voted to make blackbeard great again and now he wants to give open communication a chance???
lmao there's a limit to how many characters can be in a bulleted list so here's fucking. part two. on the same post:
ed asking everyone if the vibe is poisonous and fang cant stop crying and ed's face is just like "eh good enough" im fdhksgfkjtdkh
anyway ed with a loaded gun under his chin talking to himself is hurting me so fucking much actually. ed my beloved babygirl for whom i would die. this poor traumatized man. yes he is making this workplace toxic as hell but god. GOD. im gonna throw up.
the way ed is so fucking casual about shooting izzy in the leg. just calm and jovial as he promotes frenchie to first mate. stepping over izzy all crumpled on the floor. everything about this is so fucking good. i mean it's horrible for ed and everyone around him but for me watching the show this shit is DELICIOUS. i love when the pirates get violent and unhinged i love when this shit gets fucked up. ed's mental state is so bad right now and it is causing me severe anguish but also it is so tasty. fuck.
anyway frenchie trying to turn down the promotion fhjkghdfjkhf
the cut to the swede performing the husbandly duties is INSANE. COMPLETE TONAL WHIPLASH. I LOVE THIS SHOW.
"fuck those hammies up!" spanish jackie i love you
black pete why are you so fucking loud AND WHY WOULD YOU JIX IT LIKE THAT???
why is prince ricky so small. he's like a full head shorter than stede. also this guy is insufferable i love how stede just fucking abandons him fhjkgdhkdfghkj
"the calf muscle is the most mysterious of alllll the muscles" what the FUCK does that even mean. oh swede i will miss you
NOSE REMOVAL FUCK YES. I LOVE THIS SHOW.
obsessed with the swede playing dumb. the dramatic gasp. "wow, so bad!" fhjsghdkjf
"aint you that soup bitch?" "im the money bitch" i love women.
sfdsjkh spanish jackie being into double-crossing. and slapping the swede's ass on the way out. i love this show
i love how zheng says "this much indigo is worth three times what i paid" while spanish jackie and the husbands are still like, right there. and they just don't hear that bit. incredible.
OUGH the back of jim's weird rope armor looks like a ribcage that's so cool
i love how jim is so fucking bad at telling this story. i love how the monkey's paw comes into it. i love fang asking them to do the voice. i love archie trying to hold back her laughter i love jim and fang giggling together I LOVE THIS SHOW
ed's fucking voice breaking through his whole convo with frenchie. im tearing out my own teeth
HEY DID YOU GUYS KNOW THEY HAVE POST-CREDITS SCENES IN THIS SEASON?????????? WHAT THE HELL
i take back what i said about jim being bad at telling this story their version is so much fucking better. squeaky voice "I pray to you, Dark Lord, to make me real flesh! I want to be real flesh!" IM FUCKING OBSESSED. JIM I WOULD DIE FOR YOU
#ofmd s2 spoilers#our flag means death#ofmd#ofmd s2#ofmd season 2#edward teach#stede bonnet#crew of the revenge#archie#prince ricky#spanish jackie#zheng yi sao#izzy hands#izzy critical#s2e01#txt#mine#og#gentlebeard#ofmds2rwwiptjdmtaors#this is an annoying post to make but idk how else to process my feelings abt these episodes aside from making posts like this
90 notes
·
View notes
Note
and/or prompt 39 for tangerine x reader please? 👀👀👀
Anything for my fave <3
Lol I said I would post this last night and then I just didn't so here it is now
PS. It hasn't been proofread so ignore any mistakes :)
I Can't Stand You
Tangerine x reader
Rated M
CW: lots of swearing, mentions of death, reader is an assassin
You were supposed to be on holiday.
You thought that you would get the train from Tokyo to Kyoto and finish your two-week holiday in the once-capital of Japan to visit traditional Buddhist temples and relax.
Which is why, when you were reading your book, you were startled to see a man with a bucket hat and glasses sitting across from you.
"Hey. Hey!" He called to get your attention. You looked over the top of your book to see him leaning in close to you.
"Can I help you?" You could tell he was American. Bloody Americans.
"Listen, I'm hiding from this, like, crazy British guy and he's gonna come this way so could you help me out and just wear my hat, coat and glasses?"
"What's in it for me?"
"Uhh, I have, uh," he started going through his wallet, "two hundred bucks. Is that enough?"
You thought for a moment and sighed, two hundred dollars to sit in another guy's coat. You've done worse for less.
"Fine."
"Yes!"
"Can I ask why you're hiding from some British guy?"
"Well I took something that him and his brother want and I don't even think they're related but people keep calling them twins, they're definitely not twins-"
"Hang on," You interrupted his rambling by holding your finger up to shush him, "twins you say?"
He looked confused, "Uh, yeah. But like I said, I don’t think they're-"
"Yeah, yeah whatever. Do these twins happen to go by fruity names?"
"Yeah?"
"Lemon and Tangerine?"
"Yeah, how did you know that?"
"I'm an old friend, shall we say?"
"Oh shit-"
"No no no, don't worry! Anything to piss Tangerine off, I'm on board. I'm still taking the money, though."
The man let out a heavy sigh of relieve, shoving off his jacket for you to put on yourself, before handing you his accessories.
"Thank you, again, for this!" He cried and then ran off to hide. You continued reading, quite excited to see Tangerine again. You and the twins weren't necessarily out to kill each other, you were just rivals. There was the time in Russia where you took down a political meeting of 9 people, and then the twins turned up ready to go in all guns blazing, only to be faced by you sitting comfortably in the chair at the top of the table with your feet propped on the table. There was the time in London where you had to steal a hand-sized cross that was worth millions more than you and you slipped it out from under the twins' noses. Watching them freak out from afar made that job your favourite. The twins weren't your biggest fans because you were always quicker, always smoother, always one step ahead. Lemon was never as easy to wind up, but Tangerine's temper was so short, it wouldn't take much for him to flip out, and nothing brightened your day more.
"Alright, game's up. Where's the case? Tell me and I'll only shoot you-" You placed your book down and turned to face Tangerine, not realising how close his face would be to yours.
"Tangerine!"
"Oh fuckin' hell"
"Long time, no see, bud. How's it going? How's Lemon?"
"Everything's fucking fantastic."
Tangerine grabbed you by the collar and pulled you towards the gangway and into the tiny train bathroom. He closed the door behind him and backed you against the wall.
"Where is he?"
"Who?"
"The guy."
"What guy?"
"The guy who made you wear his fucking glasses! Where is he?"
"Oh, him! I don't know."
"I can't fucking stand you, do you know that?"
"I figured."
"You're always in the fucking way. I can't take a single step without your big mouth already being there."
"You think about my mouth? That's weird."
"No, I don't think about your mouth."
"Well that's what you made it sound like."
"Well I didn't mean it that way."
"Does that mean you fancy me?"
"What?"
"Do you think about my mouth because you fancy me?"
"Will you just shut the fuck up for two fucking minutes!"
You leaned against the wall, eyes wide, slightly stunned at the volume of his little outburst. He turned to face the door, locked it, and turned back to face you. You took a few steps forward but before you could say anything, Tangerine grabbed your face in both of his hands and pressed his lips against yours, walking you backwards until your back hit the wall. Your tongues met and fireworks went off in your head. Tangerine's hands were everywhere: your neck, your shoulders, your chest, your hips. He didn't want to leave any part untouched. Your hands simply found his hair and settled there for the duration of the kiss. You pulled away for air, both panting in each other's faces. You pulled one of your hands out of his hair to cradle his cheek.
You smirked, "I thought you couldn't stand me."
Tangerine let out a breathy laugh, "I can't," and leaned down to kiss you again.
NB: Requests are open!!
#bullet train#bullet train tangerine#lemon and tangerine#tangerine x reader#tangerine x you#tangerine
526 notes
·
View notes
Note
Huh, Adam is doing a lot better than I thought. Actually warming up plenty to Lucifer. Considering their history, really didn't see Adam warming up so easily considering his probably mind set of "He took everything from me."
I mean in his mind lucifer took both wives, his kingdom(Eden), his immortality, dammed his descendants to sin, had his wife (probably didn't know if Lilith did it on her own or not, just assumed) rally hell sinners to make him turn to extermination, have his child go with a redemption plan after all of that and then help him get killed after all that.... yeah, doing good Adam.
Pretty forgiving guy. Must be why he even gave Charlie a meeting. If he wasn't that nice he'd probably have killed her the second she entered the building. Props to the first man. I mean imagine getting the woman literally made for you stolen and not just having an unrelenting hatred for the guy for the rest of eternity.
I'm not really sure what you're referring to with "Adam is doing a lot better", like... In which instance? In canon? In my comics? In the Adamsapple ship in general? Because his level of "forgiveness" varies a lot in all of these!
I don't think Adam would forgive Lucifer easily. In fact, I don't think he would for a long looooooooong time and after SEVERAL events happen for him to even START CONSIDERING about forgiving him lol.
He definitely hates him with all his might, and even if we go into adamsapple territory, even if the kiss and make out and have sex and laugh together..... That doesn't mean Adam has forgiven him. Some days it shows, some days it doesn't, but the resentment is still there and it would take YEARS for Adam to really forgive him.
That being said I don't think that hatred passes down to Charlie as much. In fact, I don't think he has that many feelings about her as a daughter of Lucifer and Lilith in the first place. She's just the princess of hell, a nuisance, the pain in his ass, miss butterfly and rainbows and whatnot. It's also been a loooooooong time. Maybe when Charlie was born, it did piss Adam off, but over the years he probably took a more "whatever" attitude towards her. Now he hates her for other reasons lol. And even if he wanted, he couldn't have killed her on the first meeting, since she's a hellborn and it wasn't even extermination day when they met.
28 notes
·
View notes
Last Seen Blogs
noaarawr
The True Lives of the Fabulous Stonemigos
classycookiexo
The Fab Lane
cristhianhijar
カズのタンブラ
aamaranthiine
everlasting
captainpiercethefallingsire-blog
wonderfullwasteland