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twinkleteaparty · 1 month

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Speeding Bonds: A Sainz Siblings Story

This is my first F1 fanfiction, and I'm excited to share it with you all! It's a bit short, but I hope you enjoy it nonetheless. Your feedback means a lot to me, so if you like what you read, let me know! If there's interest, I'll definitely add more to the story. Thanks for taking the time to check it out!

Character: Name: Ji-min Sainz Age: 23

Background: Ji-min was adopted from South Korea into the Sainz family when she was just a baby. Growing up in Spain, she was immersed in Spanish culture but always felt a connection to her Korean roots. She has a warm relationship with her adoptive family.

Ji-min discovered her passion for music at a young age and pursued it fervently. She auditioned for a talent agency in Barcelona and was selected to be a part of a five-member girl group called "Eclipse." Despite her busy schedule as a K-pop idol.

Meanwhile, her older Carlos Sainz Jr. was making a name for himself in the world of Formula 1 racing. Their paths rarely crossed due to their different careers and lifestyles, but Ji-min secretly followed Carlos's races, feeling proud of his achievements yet also envious of the attention and recognition he received.

As Ji-min's popularity as a K-pop idol soared, she kept her family background a secret, fearing that it might overshadow her own accomplishments and potentially cause unwanted attention. However, deep down, she yearned to connect with her brother.

The story:

SMS

Ji-min: Hey Carlos, it's Ji-min. Hope you're doing awesome today! 🌟

Carlos: Ji-min! What's up, little sis? 😄 Everything good on your end?

Ji-min: Yeah, all good here! Hey, I was actually wondering... would it be cool if I came to one of your races? I've been dying to see you in action, big bro! 🏎️💨

Carlos: Of course it's cool, Ji-min! I'd love to have you there cheering me on. But... are you okay with everyone knowing we're family? I mean, it's kind of a big deal to go public with this stuff.

Ji-min: Totally cool with it, Carli! I've been wanting to shout it from the rooftops for ages. 😄 Plus, I'm super proud of you, big bro! Let's show the world what the Sains siblings are made of!

Carlos: Haha, you're the best, Ji-min! Thanks for always having my back. 😊 Alright then, I'll hook you up with a pass for the race. Get ready for the full VIP treatment!

Ji-min: Woo-hoo! VIP treatment, here I come! 🌟 Thanks a million, Carli. You're the best big bro a girl could ask for!

Carlos: Anytime, Ji-min! Can't wait to see you at the race, little sis. Get ready for some serious fun!

Ji-min: Counting down the days big bro! Vamos!

The day of the race:

At the Australian Grand Prix 2024

Ji-min made her way through the bustling crowds, the sun beating down on her as she walked. She was dressed in a simple sundress, a soft pastel blue that fluttered gently in the warm breeze. The fabric flowed loosely around her figure, offering comfort and ease as she navigated through the throngs of people.

A pair of oversized sunglasses shielded her eyes from the bright sunlight, partially concealing her face and adding a touch of mystery to her appearance. She pulled her hair back into a loose ponytail, strands of dark hair framing her delicate features.

Despite the casual attire, Ji-min moved with a graceful confidence, her steps light and purposeful as she weaved her way through the crowd. She kept her head down slightly, avoiding direct eye contact to minimize attention as she made her way towards the VIP area.

Occasionally, she caught snippets of excited chatter from nearby fans discussing the upcoming race and the drivers competing in it. Ji-min couldn't help but feel a surge of excitement coursing through her veins as she neared the entrance, her heart pounding with anticipation.

As she reached the designated entrance for VIP guests, Ji-min took a deep breath, her excitement bubbling beneath the surface. With a confident smile, she presented her pass to the security personnel and stepped inside, ready to witness her big brother's momentous victory firsthand.

Her eyes scanning the crowd for any sign of her brother. She was so absorbed in her search that she didn't notice the people around her, her gaze moving to her phone screen as she typed out a message to Carlos.

"Hey Carli, just arrived. Where are you? "

Lost in her phone, Ji-min didn't notice the figure approaching until it was too late. With a sudden jolt, she collided with someone, nearly dropping her phone in the process.

"Oh, I'm so sorry!" she exclaimed, looking up to see who she had bumped into.

Standing before her was none other than Lando Norris, one of the drivers competing in the race. Ji-min's eyes widened in surprise, recognizing him instantly from his racing gear and signature smile.

Lando grinned apologetically, his blue eyes sparkling with amusement. "No worries! "

Ji-min nodded, feeling a blush creeping up her cheeks. Sorry for not paying attention."

Lando chuckled, waving off her apology. "Not a problem at all." giving her a friendly nod before continuing on his way.

As Ji-min watched him disappear into the crowd, she couldn't help but feel a sense of excitement coursing through her veins. Little did she know, her encounter with Lando was just the beginning of an unforgettable day at the races.

----

Ji-min's heart raced as she finally spotted her brother amidst the hustle and bustle of the Ferrari garage. Carlos stood surrounded by his team, his familiar smile lighting up his face as he greeted them with enthusiasm.

"Carli!" Ji-min exclaimed, weaving her way through the crowd until she reached him. "There you are! I've been looking all over for you."

Carlos turned towards her, his eyes lighting up with delight as he caught sight of his little sister. "Ji-min! I'm so glad you made it!" he exclaimed, pulling her into a tight embrace.

Wrapped in her brother's arms, Ji-min felt a rush of warmth and contentment wash over her. It had been too long since they last saw each other, and she cherished every moment they spent together.

"I wouldn't miss it for the world," Ji-min replied, pulling back to look at Carlos with a beaming smile.

They spent the next few minutes catching up, exchanging stories and sharing laughs as they soaked in the atmosphere of the race day. Ji-min couldn't help but feel a surge of pride as she watched her brother interact with his team, his passion for racing shining through in every word and gesture.

----

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shhh-secret-time · 1 month

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Queen's Gambit

"Are you lost little bird? These aren't your woods."

Chapter 1

It doesn't take the voice of a king to silence a room, something you and the bard learned very young. A familiar glint of recognition shines in those earthy brown eyes of his, one that you mirror back. The fairy lights that drift around in the room swirl and coalesce around your form. The ball of light circles you once, twice, and then break off into a ray of colors. No doubt the magics of the brown-haired man who limps next to you.

Jimmy Valour, the only other man who you had ties to. A bard who had made a name for himself in the last war, a decade ago he was but a teenager who successfully played both sides of the war. You haven't seen him since your days at the College of Whispers, a school dedicated to the art of being...well a bard.

Now here he was, introducing you to the Elven and Fae nobles of the room. Listing off the titles that came packaged with them. The long and tedious courtroom etiquette would be just that if it wasn't the perfect time to get a feel for the room. First you went down the line of the lower nobles, the scribes and historians that were only there to keep a record of what was to happen today. Then it was the nobles who had stake in this war, families that you could only assume would see to gain. No matter the race, it was the same. You didn't need to be an expert in the inner workings of Fae and Elven politics to know that much.

Lastly were the knights, men and women alike who were donned in leather armor. Vastly different from the metal that the human knights wore. Each adorned with a sun that held their capes on their backs. Green cloaks with a golden symbol that looked like brush strokes, the flag of their King.

A king who has not taken his eyes off you since you entered the room. They're narrowed in just a way that it's almost certain that he's scrutinizing you, watching every little move you make.

No one would think less of a diplomat for buckling under the intense gaze of a King. Any leader worth their name would look at the enemy of his people like this. But you didn't come this far to throw in the towel before even having a chance to speak. Instead, you give him a small nod and a smile, with your lids lowered in just a way that tells him:

"The game has only just begun."

Kyle's brows bounce up for a moment, he covers his lower face with his hand. He rests his elbow on his armchair and leans down next to the stoic looking man next to him. He whispers something to him and try as you might it's impossible to hear from where you're standing.

Raven hair that comes down to the base of his neck, right where the spine connects, falls just above his furrowed brows. Bits of the locks poke out from under the dark blue helmet. Fit perfectly around his head, the front making an M shape. The design carved into the helm is almost as captivating as the Kings gloves. They're similar in the way they swirl and turn into branches and vines. Your eye for design tells you, they're made that way on purpose.

One of the first lessons you were taught when dealing with the Elven and Fae people was to never look them in the eyes. To them the eyes were windows to the soul, only those with a strong bond could cross that line. Even in the courtroom here, most stare at their conversation partner's nose. So, it's worthy to note when you see the King and the knight he's whispering to look each other in the eye. They stare at one another for a while, their whispers dissolving into a silent conversation.

The knight nods after a while and his body physically relaxes. A shift in moods, no longer on the defensive. All in time for Jimmy to wrap up his rambling.

"Thank you, Sir Valour. It's an honor to have such an introduction read by someone as esteemed as yourself, much less by a friend." You thank him, casting him a small side smirk.

"What? Did you think I was going to let you hog all the glory? Maybe we're not as close as I thought." You hum, that playful tone dancing on your tongue.

"Th-... The pleasure is all mine, I assure you. It's been a while; I see you've made a name for yourself. Quite a few actually." Jimmy responds as he keeps his eyes forward.

He escorts you towards the end of the table, down the line of the Kings vision. Ser Clyde follows with an amused grin on his face. The banter between you and the bard entertaining the young knight.

"If this court meeting doesn't tear y-... tear y-... tear you apart then it'd be nice to catch up." He matches your energy with his own playful wisp. Once you sit down, he gives you a nod, but you don't miss the smug smile on his face.

He got the last word for now. Making a mental note to get him back, you turn to the eyes of many. The room has gotten so quiet you could hear a pen drop from the other side of the castle. Ser Clyde shifts from foot to foot, his armor clanking ever so slightly. He stops when you shoot him a small glare, offering a nervous apology.

Your breathing slows to a steady rhythm. Each time you exhale you can feel the emotions in the room. You open yourself up to them and time seems to slow down.

The ebb and flow of unspoken thoughts flood your mind, voices that aren't your own. The people of this court room project themselves onto you like a sunset does open water. It feels as if a spirit passes through you, leaving you hollow to nothing but these feelings.

Sunset eyes stare me down. Spice on a spring day. A gentle breeze breaks the tension. Their lightning eyes shoot me down. They want me to drown. Hands grasping at my clothes to pull me back up.

But it's his that are the loudest. Not so loud that you'd find yourself clutching the sides of your head. Even in his thoughts he speaks with authority and confidence. The King that stares you down holds the voice of rulers long past. They speak together in balance with one another.

Silvered dagger rests in her mouth. With wit just as sharp. She knows not to look in the pyre reserved for Kings. Looking down my table, she stares me down...but she does not see me.

You don't linger on him for too long, you can't. Not when with every passing moment it feels like flying too close to the sun. You're starting to melt and burn. The man next to him sings a different song. The difference is night and day. It is ice and fire. It's the feeling only poets can put into words, but these absurd thoughts coming in would do just fine.

The pain in my back throbs. Flesh cut open and flayed out for my heart to bare. Remember why you're here. Less man than you are steel. I'd cut the throat of every man here if it meant the sun would rise again.

It takes everything to not physically shiver at that. Those blue eyes that you catch a quick glimpse of are shards of ice. Ice if it had lost the crystal colors and were laid flat. Yet there's something animalistic about them. Primal even.

It feels as if hours have passed since you sat down. Hours of these councilmen and women staring you down waiting for you to speak. Fortunately, it's only been a few seconds. Wading through the raw rivers of emotions will do that to you. A drawback to your little gift. But it was a small price to pay to level the playing field.

Pawn to D4

"Ladies, Gentlemen, and those who do not define yourselves as such, thank you for allowing me into your capital. With tensions as high as they are, you're taking a gamble on me. So, for that I thank you." You break the silence with a carefully constructed opening. "It's a shame we live in times where this is the case. Only a decade has passed since the war. Ten years and we can all recall it as if it were yesterday."

"It would not be like that if many of us didn't feel like it was yesterday." An older gentleman chimes in. Red hair like the Kings, but there are brushstrokes of white going through it. A thin mustache and beard that goes with it.

"And for that I apologize. I cannot speak for all of my people, to do so would be foolish and a waste of time." You waste no time with a response.

You predicted someone would come in with such a comment. The difference in the way humans and elves age is no secret. A fact Elves like to remind Humans quite often.

"Then who do you speak for Human? If a so-called diplomat cannot even speak for their people, then what good are you?" Donnel spears the question into you, voice dripping with malice.

"I am good enough for the Grand Wizard and enough to know my role at the table Ser Knight." You smirk down at him, tilting your head to the side just enough to dodge the spear.

His voice was the loudest amongst the people here. His thoughts were that of a cadence, marching soldiers gladly ready to die for their home. Fists pounding on shields taunting the enemy to come closer.

You wouldn't play his game. He's not even a player at the table.

"Then you speak for your King?" Kyle speaks as if he already knows the answer to the question, but he wants to hear you say it.

Pawn to D5

"I am both his mouth voice and my own your Majesty. The Grand Wizard trusts that I come here today with both kingdoms intentions at heart." As you speak your hands gracefully pick up the chalice.

They offer hospitality, it would be rude not to partake. Second rule of the Fae, a dry throat does no one good.

"To wet your tongue after spouting such blatant lies. Humans have never had anyone but their intentions at heart." A noble woman at the table snaps her fan. The blue and white fan no longer hid her angular face, or the birth mark directly under her eye.

"The same could be said about any living being when it comes to the tides of war. Do you not have you and your own best intentions?" You scoff a bit at her remark, but you don't offer much more. Before she can respond, you continue speaking. "But I'm not here to talk about history. I'm here to speak of the future. How to prevent another war."

Pawn to C4

Kyle's lips press together as he watches how you interact with his people. How you respond to every snide comment or glare, he notes how you walk the line of acknowledging them and refusing to give them your time. It's done so in a way that no one could call you out for being rude, you're following proper etiquette. He's torn between being impressed and frustrated.

Pawn to C4

"So, I come to you with everything on the table. My people cannot handle another war." You emphasize the word 'cannot' with your fingers pinched together and your pinky out. "We will not survive another onslaught from both sides. Your people outnumber us there's no questioning that, we're not able to ascertain the exact number of troops you have at the ready, but the number is inconsequential."

You can feel Ser Clyde shift again, his jaw tightens most likely, so he doesn't speak out of turn. To him you've just admitted defeat, shown that you and your people are weak, and he couldn't be further from that. He wears a red cloak for a God’s sake. The grip on his sword tightens, but as quick as he grips the leather, he lets go.

"Wise words. It speaks volumes to know when you're outmatched." The red head speaks again, stroking the ends of his mustache with his finger and thumb.

"Words are cheap. It is actions that carry! And every action the humans have taken has led to the suffering of our people!" Donnel scowls, slamming his fist down on the table.

"In a meeting such as this, words.are.everything." If he wants your attention so badly then he would have it.

"You bellow like a wounded boar when adults are trying to decide the fate of tomorrow. You have already made your intentions clear; you don't wish for peace so why are you still here? Why do you waste our time with your squeals and wails? If tomorrow comes and there is war know you had your hand in it. If it is peace that we decide I hope this memory burns into your mind forever. Sir Knight I ask of you, respectfully, to think - before - you - speak." Each word that spills from your lips is a dedicated strike. Unlike Donnel's sloppy swings, yours are honed. Trained to know where and how to strike to make it hurt.

You turn to him and stare him down, eyes trailed to the space between his eyebrows. There's not much space from how furrowed they are, almost connected in one thick line. Even if he does stand taller than Ser Clyde, compared to you he is a child. Out in the battlefield he would have you dead to right, there is no denying that, but here he is a victim.

You know you struck a nerve when you see the vein in his forehead pop, and his teeth grind so loudly that Jimmy stops playing that whimsical tune. Just as the final tune dies down in the room and your lips rest, he stands. He's taken the bait. Shown that he's not fit to be in this room.

"Ser Donnel. I gave you one, it seems you forget yourself still. Wait outside." Kyle's voice echoes like the roar of thunder. The storm is subtle right now, not yet at its full potential.

"But your Highness I-"

Kyle doesn't need to say more when a sigh escapes his lips Donnel stops. Freezes in place like ice was being directly pumped into his veins. From the way the knight next to him was glaring, maybe it was. Kyle waves his hand and said knight walks over to Donnel, all but grabs him by the forearm and walks out with him. The dark wooden doors behind you slam shut, muffling the sound of footsteps.

Jimmy resumes playing music like nothing happened. There was no fight, there was no look of disappointment. Just a council who took a second to breathe and the sound of his lute.

Pawn to E4

"Forgive me for calling recess early like this, perhaps we should all step outside and collect our thoughts. It would seem we were woefully ill prepared for your arrival." Kyle stands to his full height and addresses you with an even tone.

Each step he takes off his throne demands your attention, no spell on this earth could put you in a trance quite like him. The bright green healthy leaves beneath him float around the unseen gust of wind. They spiral around him before fluttering away to the patches of soft grass that make up the floor. The gold that flickers off his wings creates a light wherever he goes. You watch as it brightens and dims in time with his breathing, fading in and out but never fully going out. To call it a candle would be an insult.

When you don't stand like the other council members Clyde puts his hand on your shoulder; the iron gauntlet rests heavy. If it was one thing Clyde was, it was bold. You look up at him and offer a smile, the polite one that is expected of you. It's when he sees that dangerous glint in your eyes that he pulls back and offers it out to you instead.

Of course, you take it and bring yourself to your feet, straightening out your dress as you do. Patting down the fabric of your dress, you collect yourself. Regain composure and try to smile again. "Apologies Ser Clyde, thank you."

"You're fine, I just didn't want to be the next target of that tongue of yours. I thought when the Grand Wizard sent me here to escort you, the only thing I'd have to be on the lookout for was the occasional bandit. I didn't think you were actually going to make me do my job." He jokes to ease the tension.

While you don't find it funny by any means, you can appreciate the effort. "I thought I caught you in the corner of my eye dozing off, figured I'd wake you up a bit." The innocent tone in your voice does not match your smile.

You laugh, it pulls an actual laugh from you. Again, it's not his joke that's funny but the fact that he's trying. Your laughter is brought to an abrupt halt as you pull your hand back. "No. It's adorable that you are trying though, I think a few lessons on how to court a woman and you might be in league well enough to try again."

"Madam you wound me. To imply that I, the Grand Wizard's one and only Red Cloak, would fall asleep in a meeting so very important. Why I'm hurt. I think you might need to step outside and remember yourself." He smirks down at you, bringing your hand up to his lips. "Perhaps we could go together? Enjoy the scenery?"

Clyde feigns a pained look, but he lets go of your hand and that smirk returns. "Suite yourself, you know where to find me if you change your mind. Gods know I cannot say no to a beautiful woman."

"I know Ser Clyde. Many know."

"You're better off trying to seduce a vi-... a vi- ...a snake." Jimmy cuts into your conversation, ambulating over to where you stand.

"Ha!" Clyde doesn't bother to watch the volume in his laugh, fueling the bards stupid grin.

"Oh? And now two grown men must team up to try and attack me? Jimmy, my dear friend, I always said that someday you would go far. I only wished you had stayed there" You purse your lips at him and for the first time since you walked through the double doors you feel at ease.

"Oh~!" Clyde exclaims, bringing his fist up to his mouth. Of course, not to muffle the sound, but out of shock.

"It's funny you say that...I'd love to see your point of view, but I can't get my head that far up my ass!" Jimmy grins at you and your brow twitches, visibly bounces in annoyance.

"It's good to see you again too darling." Your frown breaks and turns into a smile, laughter rings out like the sound of bells. Jimmy joins you in that and memories of better times come flooding back to you.

"Wait...so you guys are actually friends?" Clyde looks between the two of you with confusion on his face.

"So, where'd you find tall, dumb and ha...ha...handsome?" Jimmy asks as he rests back on his crutches, ignoring Clyde.

"The Grand Wizard sent him with me, he's been dutifully escorting me through the lands." You gibe with an eye roll.

"Hey! .... You think I'm handsome?" Clyde seems to reject any form of insult; it slides off him like a blade would a shield. Maybe you really were no match for this man.

After a moment of staring up at Clyde, Jimmy goes back to his conversation with you. "I see. Well, they say the dumb ones plow the-"

"Do.not.finish that sentence Valour. I swear on all that the light touches I will tell this courtroom of that night you drank Dragon's Fire and Elderberry Mead."

"Yo-... You wouldn't dare."

"Oh? You have little faith in those you call your people. Think they would listen to a viper?"

"They'd sooner listen to a viper than a human it seems."

You sigh and cross your arms over your stomach. Even if he is joking, there's truth to those words. A man would rather get himself thrown out than to listen to you, even if he was like a child, it still hurt. However you had a job to do, you'd come too far to let a tantrum stop you.

"Well maybe not all of them." Jimmy breaks you from your thoughts.

Your brows knit together in confusion when you see him turn and walk away again. No goodbye, no indicator that he would return, not even a snarky remark. From the corner of your eye, you see Clyde bow his head and put his arm over his chest, his fist knocks into the opposite shoulder.

It isn't until you feel a warm light on your back that you piece together who could get both men to act accordingly. Kyle stands towering over you and Clyde; it makes you wonder if that warmth is coming from his wings or the small smile on his face.

But even caught off guard like this you wouldn't allow yourself to panic. You turn back towards him and bow as you had when you first entered the courtroom. His hand comes down next to your face, offering it out to you with a silent nod.

"Might I borrow her for a moment? I wish to speak with your diplomat a bit before we regather." He's addressing Clyde when he speaks.

He wouldn't make you panic, but he would catch you by surprise. You stare at the hand for a moment before taking it. You damn the hesitation in your movements, but he doesn't seem to notice; and if he did, he's courteous enough to not make a deal of it.

Pawn to E6

"I um...I'm not really supposed to-"

You cut him off, as Kyle pulls you up from your bow. "I will be fine Ser Clyde. If his Highness wanted me dead, we would not have even made it into this room. I'd be honored to accompany you."

Queen to A4. Check

Kyle smiles again, this time it reaches those greens in his eyes. There's a little spark behind them, this silent game you're playing with him is entertaining. He can't recall if he's ever been this entertained with a headache, but it's impressive. Every part of him needs to know more about the source of both.

Bishop to D7

"I will return with her shortly, worry not." There's something in his tone that almost sounds like he's trying to be playful. If a fire could be playful, you'd think this is the closest it would sound like.

"Uh...yeah okay. I mean, of course Y-Your Highness!" Clyde stands there and watches as Kyle moves your hand to his arm. How small you looked next to him, and how the large robes he wore engulfed your hands.

The mask is quickly put back on, it was nice to breath while you could. Silence falls over you two as he escorts you through the castle. You catch glimpses of decorations and paintings hung high on the beautiful walls. Vines of ivy and grape leaves wrap around the columns in a tight hug. Passing art pieces that you would most likely never see again, yet all you can seem to focus on is the direction he's taking you.

Knight to A3

Tucked in the corner of the board, Clyde stands there waiting for you to come back. He looks to the bard who simply offers him a friendly shrug. Jimmy gestures for him to walk over, making Clyde look behind him. The bard rolls his eyes and points to him with the crutch. Then to the spot next to him, in his corner of the board.

So far one pawn has been removed.

But the games only just begun.

Prologue | Chapter 1

#south park #sp fanfiction #south park fanfiction #reader insert #south park x reader #x reader #kyle broflovski #kyle broflovski x reader #Kingdom Come #Chapter 1 #Fantasy AU #clyde donovan #jimmy valmer #stan marsh #shhh its a secret

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flock-talk · 3 months

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Hi! Was hoping you might have some advice for me? Bit of a long one sorry.

Ive had my green cheek for about 5 months now, and hes always super sweet. Hes only about 1 year old but hes picked up basic training and general manners really well, super cuddly velcro-bird.

The other day I got my hair cut for the first time in months, went from just below the shoulders to a fade, and when I came home he was fine? a bit shocked, but got over it after a bit, was acting his normal cuddly self. Then yesterday when I get him out of his cage in the morning he crawls up to my shoulder like normal and starts attacking me? Nothing else changed either.

I would often have my hair tucked behind my ear and he would try and nibble on my earrings, and he was easy enough to redirect onto his actual toys, but since getting my hair cut hes suddenly super violent and aggressive? When I let him out of his cage in the morning or just when I pick him up, he crawls straight up to my shoulder and starts biting my ears/cheek VERY hard. He'll give me a new piercing at this rate. And when I try to remove him he just starts biting my hands instead. Hard enough to draw blood too, which is the first time thats ever happened.

I've been trying to use treats to reward him for sitting calmly, distract him with toys, but nothings working. He'll forgo his favourite toys and treats that he normally goes crazy for in favour of biting me. I've been having to keep him in his cage for way longer than I want because I can't handle the constant attacks from him.

He's my first ever bird and I don't know what to do at this point :(

There's a number of reasons that behaviour can suddenly flip and without doing a super thorough background dig on your specific bird I can't guarantee a 100% correct answer here

based on the information provided it's very likely a defensive stress response. Birds ID each other visually so when you suddenly change your appearance you're no longer recognizable, they may have reacted 'fine' when you initially changed your hair due to increased stress suppressing behaviour. Think of how young birds react when you meet them in a store, many end up very complacent, slow moving, or even affectionate due to the stress of the environment and strangers handling them. Once they get home and relax their true mannerisms start to show up and they can present more aggressive behaviours and selectiveness as the stress that was suppressing these behaviours is no longer present. So they may have been stressed upon seeing the change and over the following days became more adjusted to the change and are now reacting to you as they may a completely unidentified stranger that has barged in and is taking over the home.

Conures also tend to be very sensitive to emotional changes, becoming overstimulated exceptionally easy and often default to nipping for communication. So it's another possibility that the conflict of figuring out who you are, confusion, and random bursts of excitement or stress release with the changes could be triggering events as well.

I would approach this situation as though he's a brand new bird you just brought home. Give him space, utilize target training for necessary handling, and go right back to the basics with building foundations and trust. I would ensure to keep interactions very short and successful, enter the room, drop off some snacks, and promptly leave sort of things. This may help him be able to observe you, recognize you aren't a threat, and form better associations about the change.

You may find it helpful to experiment with hats, some birds will become more aggressive around hats but others recognize it as being an accessory rather than a part of you and it could help bridge that recognition gap for them. Additionally if there are certain phrases you often say to them, certain tones, routines, or body language you presented with them often prior to the haircut I would ensure to lean heavily in to those to further help them connect your mannerisms to your identity.

As your foundations with this bird get stronger they will adjust to these changes easier and you are less likely to have these massive fallbacks. In the meantime it's important to recognize that they aren't behaving this way to spite you, they're behaving this way because they are distressed and don't know how to cope. During this time you have to meet them where they're at, move slow, and help them relearn that you aren't a threat.

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noshitbarnes · 1 year

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Anti-Hero: Chapter 2

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x OFC

Summary: After being experimented on as a young child and given abilities, Daniela has become a highly skilled member of the Avengers, and has even been assigned to mentor Peter Parker. Little does she know that the happiness she’s been able to find will become threatened by the very people who started her on her path long ago.

Warnings: language, Bucky being a tease, Daniela being a jerk

Word Count: 3,124

Notes: I don't have anything to add, if you want to be added to my tag list just let me know!

Anti-Hero Masterlist

"This is my room?" Peter stares wide eyed at the room before him, "It's huge,” he runs inside and jumps on the bed, bouncing slightly, "this is super comfy.”

The room was simple, but classy, definitely on point with Tony's style. The walls were a medium gray, tan wood floors, and there was a small skylight above the bed. There was a king sized bed with the headboard against the farthest wall, it was complete with blue and gray sheets and some various pillows. A large rug was set on the floor at the foot of the bed, it was grey and had a weird blue and white type pattern. There was also a desk that was set against the same wall as the bed with a computer and some files. A dresser, bookstand, TV stand with a TV, and various plants were also placed around the room. There was also a connecting bathroom, which came with every room.

Peter's had his own room before, so this wasn't really shocking to him, it was more the fact that it was so big, he's never had a king sized bed before, or his own bathroom. He smiles up at the ceiling with closed eyes and runs his hands over the soft comforter. Maybe this whole Avenger thing wouldn't be as strenuous as he thought.

Daniela shakes her head, watching the smile form on his face, soon a small smile grew on her own. While she watches him, her mind starts to wonder, thinking about what their future might hold. His safety was now her responsibility and she felt that weight on her shoulders, but she's been in charge of others before, so it wasn't a new feeling. She just felt more responsible for Peter, probably because he was so young.

Daniela leans against the doorframe, "Yeah, typical Avenger package. You get your own room, bathroom, health benefits, your own suit, special tech, whole bunch of other stuff that I won't bore you with, Tony can do that.”

Peter opens his eyes and lifts his head up high enough so he can look at her, "And you're across the hall?”

"Yeah," she puts her hands in her pockets, "but that doesn't mean you can just burst into my room whenever. I'm your mentor, which means I'm here to help, but we still need some sort of boundaries, ok?” Peter nods and she pushes away from the door, "Alright, now listen,” she walks over to his desk and waves him over. He jumps off the bed and sits down at the desk, "just cause you're staying here doesn't mean you get to slack off of your college stuff, alright?" Peter nods, "The laptop is yours and Tony's already set up for facial recognition, so you just have to open it."

Peter opens the laptop, "How did he already set it up?" as soon as the screen turns on, the camera turns on, and then unlocks once it sees Peters face.

Daniela shrugs, "I don't know, I honestly just don't ask anymore."

Peter smiles at the laptop, "That's so cool, he's already got all the apps and stuff on here that I use for school.”

Daniela shifts her weight to one foot while crossing her arms, "Yeah, he's annoyingly knowledgable like that," it grows silent for a moment, then she feels eyes on her, "I should also warn you that leaving your door open can invite unwanted visitors."

"You knew I was here didn't you?”

Peter jumps a bit at the new voice and Daniela slowly turns around, meeting the soldiers gaze, “Another fair warning, Barnes likes to scare the newbies,” Bucky smirks slightly while leaning against Peter's bedroom wall, hands in his pockets, not taking his eyes off her, "happened to me a lot when I first got here.”

When Daniela first got to the Avengers compound, she was quiet and shy, kept to herself mostly, rarely left her room unless it was to get coffee and sit under her favorite tree. She's never been good around a lot of new people, it’s something she’s tried to work on to no avail. It took her months to really get use to the compound and feel comfortable with her new teammates. Everyone was a little cautious of her, they didn’t know the extent of her powers, so they sorta walked on eggshells when training her. However, Bucky was different, he never once treated her like she was fragile, he treated her as he would treat any other solider.

"You were such a good sport though,” Bucky says, “after a few days, I couldn't sneak up on you anymore,” he chuckles lightly and turns his gaze to Peter, "she being nice to you now?”

Peter stands up from the desk beaming at Daniela and elbows her side, “She's always nice to me,” she smiles at him then sticks her tongue out at Bucky playfully.

"She is,” Bucky crosses his arms and looks Daniela over, "then what was that back on the jet?”

"A momentary lapse in my temper,” she narrows her eyes at him, “happens sometimes.”

Bucky raises an eyebrow, "Maybe you need a way to relieve your pent-up frustration."

"Why do you think I spar with Steve?" she smiles innocently, "He's a challenge for me.”

He narrows his eyes, "I trained you first, don't forget that.”

"You guys don't train together anymore?" Peter jumps in.

“It’s, um, been a while,” Bucky smirks teasingly, his eyes showing a bit of mischief.

Daniela places her arm around Peter's shoulders— which earns a glare from Bucky, “I’ll let you in on a secret, Parker,” Peter nods while looking at the floor blushing ever so slightly, “I out grew him, needed more of a challenge.”

Daniela knows how to push everyone's buttons, it was one of her hidden talents, for some reason, she got a real kick out of it. She tried not to take it too far, but shit happens. Bucky rarely ever got mad at her anymore, so sometimes she actually tried to piss him off. Apparently today was going to be one of those days.

Bucky scoffs and pushes off from the wall with his foot, "You think you're so funny.”

Daniela smiles innocently back at the soldier, “Well, because I am,” Peter chuckles next to her, “see he thinks so too.”

Bucky only rolls his eyes, "Don't let her fool you, kid, she's not as tough as she lets on.”

"Bitch, please,” Daniela takes her arm off of Peter’s shoulders, "last time we spared," she points down to his right leg, "I gave you that scar. Ya know, the one that refuses to heal even with your stupid ass serum. It may have been unintentional and out of rage, but I still did it.”

Bucky continues to scowl down at her, "That doesn't mean you're tough, just means I let my guard down, for once.”

Unfortunately for Daniela, Bucky also knew how to piss her off, he enjoyed it too. The way she got all serious and her voice dropped slightly, it stirred something in him, he just didn't know what that meant. It’s not that they didn’t like each other, they were the best of friends, but sometimes their fights would escalate and they wouldn't speak to each other for a few days.

She takes a couple steps toward him, “You are testing my patience, Barnes.”

He in turn, takes a step forward, testing the waters of her temper, then looks down at her, and smirks challengingly, "Now that doesn't sound like me.”

He was so close, she could feel the heat radiating off him, which made her breath hitch slightly in her throat, but she continued to glare up at him anyway, ”It's you to a fucking T.”

Peter looks back and forth between the two soldiers, wondering if they were actually pissed off at each other or if this was just normal. He doesn’t know much about either of them really, they never talk about their personal life. Although, he does know that Daniela was a Sergeant in the Marines and Bucky was the same, but in the Army, and that they were both not the age they looked, other than that he’s pretty clueless. He also knows little about their life outside the team, but he has picked up on little things about their personality. Such as, Bucky doesn’t sleep much, he can tell that by the small dark circles under his eyes and they’re bloodshot almost constantly. He also seems to be extremely loyal to everyone on the team, and he’s even picked up on what topics to not talk about, like his life before and during Hydra. Daniela is freakishly similar, probably because of the whole military background and definitely some trauma. Daniela does differ though, the most prominent being that she actually has conversations with him. Over these past few months, Peter has noticed that Daniela has an awful temper, he’s seen it first hand, and he’s still not sure what pisses her off. As he’s watching the two argue, he’s not sure how Bucky is still standing and if it’ll stay that way.

Bucky lightly tugs on his bottom lip with his teeth and then opens his mouth to say something, but is interrupted by FRIDAY, "Sorry to interrupt, but Captain Rogers is wondering when you all will be joining them in the conference room?”

Still glaring at Bucky, Daniela answers her, "He said 15 minutes.”

"And it's been 20," FRIDAY answered.

“Shit," she shakes her head, "come on, Peter.”

**********

The three walk into the conference room to find the team all sitting around the table, clearly waiting on them.

"Nice of you all to finally join us,” Steve says crossing his arms, scowling at Daniela as she makes her way to a chair beside Rhodes.

"Sorry, Captain," she glares at Bucky, "Barnes delayed us,” Bucky chuckles as they take their seats around the table.

Rhodes sighs from beside her, “Please tell me there wasn’t another fight,” he looks across the table at Bucky, “I thought you guys were getting along again?”

Daniela chuckles and Rhodes look back to her, “Sorry, Dad.”

Everyone laughs lightly and Rhodes shakes his head, “I’m just trying to keep the peace around here.”

James Rhodes is one of the few people in the compound that is capable of calming everyone down at a moments notice and it's sorta weird, like it's his superpower. Usually, there's that one person who refuses to calm down, but when Rhodes enters the room, everyone stops acting crazy, he just has that presence about him. He's everyone's confidant, knows everyones secrets— but never leads on that he knows— and would give the shirt off his back for a friend.

“Really?” Clint says from across the table, “Where were you then last week when Wilson and Barnes started fighting over Pictionary? Could’a used ya.” There are various groans from around the table, remembering that horrible night.

The team tries to get together at least once every other week to either play a game or watch a movie. Each time, a different person picks a game or movie and the rest of them have to suffer through it. Most of the time there aren’t any incidents, but every once in a while certain people get too competitive. Most of the time it’s one of the boys, they’re all stubborn and occasionally things get out of hand.

Wanda stares at the wall and speaks, “Well, at least I know never to pick that again.”

Steve sighs and then looks to Peter, "Alright, Parker," he said standing up and approaching the head of the table, "since you're gonna be full time with us from now on, we need to brief you on what we really do around here,” he crosses his arms and furrows his brows together, "right now, we do mostly hostage situations, take out the remaining Hydra bases, bust arms dealers, and occasionally, SHIELD sends us out to do more specialized missions."

"And the rare alien invasion,” Tony shrugs.

Steve turns to Tony and nods, “Um, right,” Steve then looks back to Peter and continues, "for now, Velikov and you are just gonna focus on training. We know you can handle yourself for the most part, be we just want to make sure that you'll be safe out there, so she's going to give you some refined training,” he then looks to Daniela, "you'll stay back on missions unless we absolutely need you.”

"Are you shittin' me?" Daniela leans forward and rests her hands on the table, "He'd be fine by himself while I'm gone. He doesn't need a constant babysitter.”

"He does for now,” Tony counters, "just until he gets use to the place," he stands up from his chair and walks over next to Steve, "we're not saying you're never going on missions, it's just temporary.”

Daniela takes a deep breath and sits back in her chair, “Fine,” she knew when to keep her mouth shut— well, sometimes anyway.

"That's it,” Natasha speaks up from across the table causing Daniela to look at her, "just like that and you agree with them?" She then turns her attention to Steve and Tony, "See, I think it's bullshit. We need her out there, at least I do, she covers my ass better than anyone.”

Daniela smirks down at the table. Natasha was right, Daniela had saved her ass countless times, along with the others. Not on pure luck, like Sam would have some believe, she was good at what she did, her powers usually came in handy. They made her reflexes a little faster and she seemed to always know when something wasn’t right. Although, that probably has something to do with her military training and the fact that she'd been fighting Hydra for so long.

“I’m with Nat,” Clint said from beside Natasha, “it just wouldn’t be the same without frosty.”

Daniela glares at Clint, “You’re hilarious, Barton.”

He smiles and looks to Tony, “You know that if we don’t have her, your ass would be on the line too, she covers all of us. It’s like she has a weird sixth sense of something.”

"Do you even realize that my suits can help? What do you think I made them for,” Tony glares at Clint, "to stand around and look pretty?”

Daniela tilts her head and looks at Tony, "Well obviously," she shrugs and crosses her arms, "but I thought you made them 'cause you were lonely,” Peter snickers next to her, which makes her turn to him and wink.

Tony looks to Peter, which makes him fall silent, and then he focuses back on Daniela, "Don't start with me.”

She looks back to him and rolls her eyes, “Anyway, if Cap doesn't want me there, I won't go. I'm not one to disobey direct orders.”

"Ok," Bucky— who so far had been extremely silent— leans forward in his chair, focusing on Daniela, "I know for a fact that that's bullshit.”

"From the Captain,” she leans forward in her chair, “and I disobeyed your orders one time, Barnes.”

“And if it wasn’t for me, you’d be dead,” he taps his metal fingers on the desk, narrowing his gaze at her.

It was still a touchy subject with the two of them, even though it happened a year ago. Daniela had already apologized and moved on, but Bucky isn't one to let things go so easily, especially when it has to do with someone's safety. He still felt responsible for her, even though she was no longer his trainee, he still cared about her deeply.

Daniela narrows her eyes at him and grits her teeth, “Thank you for the reminder.”

Bucky leans back in his chair and crosses his arms, but says nothing, not taking his eyes off her. It made Daniela uncomfortable, the way his eyes looked her over, like prey, but she didn't change her expression, she didn't want him to know how it affected her. He knew though, hearing her heart beat pick up, her breathing becoming uneven. He knew she was nervous, they hadn't had a serious fight in months, and he wanted to keep it that way. As much as he loved it when she got angry, it usually followed with them not speaking for days, and that he hated.

“Ok..." Steve says awkwardly, making Daniela look back to him, "look, Velikov, if we need you, you'll go. Just for now, focus on training the kid.”

“Can do,” she answers.

Tony rolls his eyes and turns to Peter, "Parker," Peter’s brows go up at the sound of his name, "you're gonna be with me today. You’ll start training with Daniela tomorrow morning.”

His face lit up into a big grin causing everyone else to let out a small chuckle, “Okay!"

"Velikov," Daniela looks from Peter to Steve and raises a brow, “you’ll do drills today.”

“Alright," she crosses her arms and leans back in her chair.

“With a slight change,” Steve grins and Daniela raises an eyebrow, "I think it's time you and Buck start training together again. You're getting a little rusty and he can help you better than I can.”

She raises a hand and points her index finger to the sky, “Um, formal protest.”

"Denied," Bucky says from across the table.

Without looking at him, she retorts, "Wasn't talking to you.”

Steve shakes his head, "He's still your superior, Velikov,” he puts both hands on the table, leaning in, and focusing on her, "we've talked about this. I don't need this from you.”

She puts her hand down and grits her teeth, “Yes, sir.”

"Alright then,” Steve stands back up and looks over the group, "nice talk everyone.”

Daniela wrinkles her nose in frustration as she stands up and turns to Peter, "I'll see you later, Parker,” she rests her hand on his shoulder, “be good to Tony, ok?”

He smiles and sets his hand over hers, ”I have to, Dani,” he chuckles and walks out the door, following Tony.

It's just Bucky and Daniela left in the room now, Bucky is the first to speak, "Alright, Velikov," she looks over and meets Bucky's gaze from across the table, "what's stuck up your ass today?”

Her eyebrows go up at his sudden forwardness, “Pardon?”

"You can't bullshit me," he walks around the table and stands in front of her, "something's going on in that pretty little head of yours. What is it?”

She chuckles slightly to hid the butterflies in her stomach, “Not sure I wanna talk about it right now,” she fixes her shirt, "can we just go and get this over with?”

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lilyfreshwater · 2 years

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regardless of what you think about 20/17, you're making a false equivalency by asking someone 26 if they would date a 17 year old and then saying that proves your point about 20 and 17 being bad. that is NOT the same thing as 20 and 17, even a little bit, which was specifically the age gap we're talking about because that's specifically what BOTH posts were about, not someone generally over 20 dating 17 year old. speaking totally neutrally, whether i were to agree OR disagree it's not a valid argument whatsoever.

it's still a valid argument tho because there's a reason they wouldn't date a 17 yo. which is because the person is 17!!! same reason i wouldn't date a 17 yo, they're 17. so obviously there's some recognition of "hey a 17 year old is still a young person and doesn't have the experience or life skills to keep themselves safe in a relationship with a person significantly older than them." my argument is the word "significantly" can refer to an age gap as small as 3 years because the mental development between age 17 and age 20, jsur like 15 and 18 or 20 and 23, is night and day. there's no comparing the two. to me it's evident in the fact that most high school relationships end in breakups either during high school or when people leave for college. it's because 1) kids don't have the communications skills and experience to maintain a relationship that long at that age and 2) everyone that age is still growing and developing and the couple could very well become two incompatible people. so as a 20 yo who's still growing and changing and has some skills but certainly not all the brain development they need to live a successful life as a well rounded person, why the fuck would it be a good idea to date a 17 year old who's miles behind you developmentally? or, in the eyes of a 17 yo, why would you put yourself in the position to be intimately connected with someone who's got just about every upper hand they could have on you? that's why i think the 17/20 gap is still problematic

#ask #dream situation

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havenofseven · 2 days

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sideblog to @ru5t for the other members of the Haven. all rules the same. request only / low activity low effort low everything.

character list / temporary(?) short bios

Desert Phantom — mid-late 20s. Jack's second. Leader of the Desert Deaths. Former neutral from the Neon Slums, Phantom ran for the desert as a young thing and quickly built a befuddling and contradictory reputation. Often mistaken as laid back thanks to a friendly, flirty nature, he's a natural leader and instigator who gained recognition when he was promoted to lead of the infamous Desert Death's crew at a young age. A mechanic by trade and motorbaby at heart, even with the Haven as a landing place, including a space inside, he mostly lives out of his car.

Desert Dusk — mid 20s. member of the Desert Deaths. Closely bonded to Phantom and Dawn, and otherwise holding an utterly shrouded past except the known fact that she's survived the extinction of the rest of her previous group, whoever they were. (That's the bar of entry for any member of the Desert Deaths crew: survive your last). Sensible and spiritual, Des is an acolyte of the Lady of Sorrows, a desert deity. She has no one particular niche unless you're seeking a prayer, and makes herself useful as a general second set of eyes and hands.

Desert Dawn — teens. member of the Desert Deaths. Dawn's the last survivor of a peaceful settlement BL/ind attacked in 2024. Still working out her niche. Presently trying to learn fighting. She's never lost in the zones, either by some quirk or a skill she's not sure how to articulate. The Haven's youngest (aside from Colton obv) and somewhat sheltered and maybe just a little bit coddled; mostly her 'job' as it were is.. to be alive whilst young and bright and, somehow, despite it all, bubbly and happy. If Jack's the collective's older brother, Dawn's their collective younger sister.

Violet Sigh — early 20s. Living in the zones for as long as she can remember, Vi couldn't tell you if she was born there or in the city, she just knows life is hard when you're living off the scraps. After some time spent turning tricks to make her way, she found herself on the Haven's doorstep. Now she's their in-house weapons modifier. Though not book educated, she excels at working with ammunition and explosives. She's repurposed a healthy handful of city charge into a security perimeter that guards the Haven's flank. (It's best not to approach through the back fence....) Though typically taciturn, Vi is also a social chameleon and great to have along when dealing with other crews.

Foxtrot — teens. Former member of the Sugar Babies. Former member of the Acoustic Devils. A runaway from the city from a painfully young age. It's a miracle he made it out. After some time bouncing around the desert, Fox landed with the Acoustic Devils and began to make his way...only for hard times to fall. Fox (and RKO) got separated from the pack and haven't been able to find a whisper of what happened to any of their old crew since. This landed them at the Haven. Now, fleet-footed little Fox is the Haven's paper boy (a messenger) and Jack's second shadow, eager to learn and prove himself.

RKO —late teens-twenties. Former member of the Acoustic Devils. Zone-raised, if not zone-born, K is a young man with a million contacts, making him surprisingly social for someone who doesn't get out much. After losing most of his crew, he's become reluctant to brave the desert's wild. He devotes his time instead to DJing: he runs a pirate radio station called The Fence which he runs from the Haven. Rolling out music and chatter all hours to keep company with those on the wind, he also broadcasts encoded warnings appraising the outer zones of bad weather and patrol movements, which he gathers through his connections across the desert an with other DJs. He also has a weekly segment where he spends hours reading off messages gathered from all over the zones- broad calls from crews and families who have been separated trying to reconnect with each other, or let each other know they're safe.

Lady Diamond (/Diana) — early 20s. A former security oriented drac from the center city. Di fled for the zones after a personal conflict of hers escalated to heights that got her labeled as a security risk and traitor. It's been a couple years since then, and while she's not exactly the most colorful resident of the zones, she's grown (begrudgingly) fond of the Haven, and even gained a proper moniker to use along with her 'city' name. A fighting expert and tactician. She's also proven to be great in the garden, which is easily her favorite thing about being out of the city.

Jonny Tox Screen — mid 20s. Former center-city Prodigy™. Former neutral. Presently, exhausted at all times forever and doing his best. A son of the city's elite, Tox is technically a walking talking experiment. The details are fuzzy even to him, but the general idea was in-utero enhancement, and the city loved to take credit for his above-average ability to learn when he was young. He was fast-tracked through schooling, earning medical accolades in his middle teens, and to make a very long and complex story very short and simple, he fled when the city just kept expecting more of him. He is the Haven's primary medic, and makes regular trips to other zones to offer aid to other killjoy groups. (Often paid in some kind of trade, but sometimes he helps for no cost at all.) He and Lith are committed/consider themselves married.

Desert Vendetta — early 30s. A member of the Desert Deaths. She lives in the city under the name Amber Park and serves as a spy and contact point; Tech's stable landing place on the city side of the wall.

Redeye Rush & the Weasel — mid 20s. Scavengers and traders of the Wind Stop trading post (a converted gas station) in Zone Three. Red is an easygoing mechanic and musician. Weasel is a sharp-tongued weapons modifier gifted at irritating people and procuring rare and/or obscure supplies. They talk big (that is, the Weasel does) but cut incredibly forgiving deals for the desert's less fortunate more often than not. Both have been under Jack's wing at one point or another, and are close to Tox, Lith, and Tech. The Weasel is Diana's older brother.

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28northgroup · 7 months

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Understanding the Benefits of Owning Your First Home

Are you considering buying your first home? If so, it can be helpful to know what led other people to make that decision. According to a recent survey of first-time homebuyers by PulteGroup:

“When asked why they purchased their first home recently, the answer was simple: because they wanted to. Either the desire to stop renting or recognition that homeownership is a smart financial investment was the main motivator for 72% of respondents.”

While that survey looked specifically at first-time homebuyers buying newly built homes, the same sentiment is true for just about anyone buying their first home. Here’s a bit more information to help you think about those two benefits of homeownership to see if they’re a key factor for you too.

When You Buy a Home, You Have More Stability than When You Rent

You might want to stop renting because rents keep going up. If you’re a renter, that means there’s a chance your payment will increase each time you sign a new rental agreement or renew your current one.

On the other hand, when you buy your home with a fixed-rate mortgage, your monthly housing payment is predictable over the length of that loan. This stability can give you a peace of mind that renting just can’t provide. Jeff Ostrowski, real estate journalist,breaks it down:

“With a fixed-rate mortgage, your monthly principal and interest payment is set for as long as you keep the loan. Sign a rental lease, however, and you could see your rent rise the following year, the year after that and so on.”

When You Buy a Home, You Grow Your Wealth as Home Values Climb

Beyond that, owning a home can also be a great long-term investment. While renting may be the more affordable option right now, it doesn’t provide an avenue for you to grow your wealth over time. Mark Fleming, Chief Economist at First American, explains that’s an important distinction to consider:

“Given current dynamics, more young households may choose to rent in the near term as the cost to own, excluding house price appreciation, has unequivocally increased. Yet, accounting for house price appreciation in that cost of homeownership, whether to rent or buy will depend on where, and if, a home is likely to cost more or less in the near future.”

Basically, renting doesn’t allow you to build equity. In contrast, homeownership can help you grow your net worth as your home’s value appreciates. That’s a significant perk you can’t get if you keep renting.

When you take that into account, it may make better financial sense to buy. Most experts project home prices will continue to appreciate over the next few years at a pace that’s more normal for the market. That means when you buy a home, not only are you investing in a place to live, but you’re also investing in your financial future.

Bottom Line

If you're ready, it can be a smart move to buy your first home instead of renting. Let’s connect so you can stabilize your housing payment and start building wealth for your future.

#housingmarket #realestatemarket #realestate #28northgroup

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vowled · 3 years

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Kill Your Darlings: An Analysis of its Twists and Themes

A few days ago, I watched Kill Your Darlings, and needless to say, I became completely mesmerized by it. Naturally credible characters with well-crafted backstories portraying a true story of Love, Obsession and Murder, it's everything a person could ask for in a movie. The colour palette of the movie radiates comfort and the sound track takes you back in time when these two bright young men were falling in love. Right from the start it was apparent that there were many themes in the undercurrent of the movie, and these were such that required some amount of thoughtful contemplation. And I was incredibly sorry to not find any post or review which critically discussed the themes of the movie and did it justice- so after doing some reading and digging up as much as I could, here I am making an attempt to analyze the twists and themes of the story.

The Crucial Plot-twist

The Night In Question- why the movie's recounting of the events is fictitious:

When faced with the prospect of writing the deposition for Lucian, Allen tried his best to gather information about the events that led to David's murder. However, it proved to be a difficult feat as Lucien himself would not speak much about it clearly. So he pieced together what he could from the bits of information he got. However, we see Lucian vehemently opposing the deposition written by Allen and claiming it to be false. After some thought, I find that I believe Lucian's claims. Most of the following arguments are rooted in the fact that Lucien's relationship with David was an abusive one, where David basically groomed Lucian and was a sexual predator. I suggest reading my post here to gain more insight about how the abuse affected him.

"You weren't there, you don't know what happened." These words right here- they're the words of a victim. Being subjected to a form of sexual abuse myself, I found these words hitting me like a brick ton. These are words coming from a pained soul that refuses to recount traumatic incidents. He's practically saying that the abuse was so bad he had to kill his abuser to be free from it.

Even after Allen saw first-hand what a total creep David could be, even after knowing the man had stalked Lucian across multiple cities, he had to ask Lucian why the latter killed David when he "could have run". This tells me he couldn't exactly relate to Lucian's situation and wasn't very keen on believing him. Although he displayed a moment of intimate affection, there's still a lingering feeling of yeah but he broke my heart inside him. After learning how Lucian drowned David, he even begins questioning if he should help him at all. At this point, Allen doesn't trust Lucian enough to actually care how accurate the story is. So he wrote what he could, what he felt right. But even he couldn't condemn his friend/first love to such a fate as prison, so eventually he submitted it as his final paper. In all honesty, I thought that turning it in was a brilliant move, and one which also further proved that the "once you loved him too" version was mostly fanciful fiction.

Throughout the movie, sequences have been played in reverse frames (and I found this so pleasing) and from the nitrogen-inhaling scene, we know that these sequences designated memories playing out in Allen's head or his subconscious creating dreamscapes. And here's the catch- the entire scene of Lucian taking a walk with David and eventually killing him began with frames played in reverse order. This gives the absolute proof that the movie's depiction of the events were fictitious.

Allen's P.O.V. of the events mainly relied on the argument that at some point, Lucian genuinely loved and needed David. This couldn't be further away from the truth. When you're 14 and and being groomed and coaxed by an older guy, a lot many things could feel like love because you haven't experienced them before; but in reality, it's never love, it just is another form of violence.

Themes running through the movie

"There can be no Creation before Imitation"

We see Professor Steves saying this at the beginning of the movie, hinting that it would be a theme in the story. This statement is reflected throughout Allen's progression and development as a poet:

In the beginning, we see him being hugely influenced by his father's works and possibly trying to imitate him through poetic devices such as consonance.

Next, we see him imitating Professor Stevens' style of writing in his poem "the rose that scents the evening air, grows from by beloved's hair" which Lucian outright criticizes.

It is only with the poem Allen recites to Lucian on the boat that he starts developing some sort of originality. That poem in particular is directly drawn from his personal experiences and delivers splendidly.

This development continues as he proceeds to write "The Night In Question" wherein he brilliantly describes his opinion of how things went down. It was this streak that would eventually propel him to write his most celebrated poem, "Howl".

The Circle of Life and How Allen Breaks it

We see Lucian telling Allen how "Life is only interesting if it is wide" and about Yeats' "Circle of Life". As displayed by the linked document, turns out the circle of life is quite complex a thing, and the movie displays a lay-man's version of it. As Lucian tells about it to Allen, unbeknownst to them both, Allen also enters the circle and changes the turn of events:

It is obvious that at the party at David's, Allen was a misfit. David even goes so far as to literally call him out and point how unremarkable he was, but says how given the correct circumstances, even Allen could change things. And what's extraordinary is exactly this happens next: the liquor runs out in David's party and Allen suggests they should change the venue of the party- hence hijacking David's party!

We see Allen's life widen as he becomes closer to Lucian and starts doing things he'd never done before. At the same time, he also plays an important role in changing Lucian's life as well. It's Allen who suggests at first that Lucian should break up with David and stop taking his help. Later in the movie, after learning about David's obsessive behaviour, it's again Allen that said "we should get rid of him". Again, here we see some foreshadowing. Allen could have worded it in any probable way, and yet he suggested getting rid of David which subtly implied killing him. I do believe that this happened to become a subliminal suggestion to Lucian and furthered his murderous intent.

Hence, although Lucian radically changes Allen's life, the latter does so too in unlikely and unexpected ways.

Sacrifices (and Rituals?)

Since the beginning of the movie, we know that the characters are all extraordinary men and that they are capable of something revolutionary. But it was apparent that all of them would need a catalyst to set things in motion- a sacrifice of some sort which would help them break their moulds and free their inner poet. Allen's love for Lucian and his wish to impress him did make him work toward become better at writing. It was the fear of completely losing Lucian to Jack that made Allen put all his effort into writing, and made him come up with his best work yet - here, the fear acted as the catalyst.

However, the most significant thing in connection to this happened in this scene where Lucian cuts both of their palms and holds them up together - this can be considered a Blood Ritual.

"A blood ritual is any ritual that involves the intentional release of blood. Blood rituals often involve a symbolic death and rebirth, as literal bodily birth involves bleeding. Basic to both animal and human sacrifice is the recognition of blood as the sacred life force in man and beast. The participants may regard the release of blood as producing energy useful as a sexual, healing, or mental stimulus. In other cases, blood is a primary component as the sacrifice, or material component for a spell."

The fact that this event took place inside Allen's head during a trippy session outlines how Allen had subconsciously taken a blood oath with Lucian to further The New Vision. This process of developing their revolutionary ideas would successfully progress for the rest of the movie; however, before its completion, the oath demanded a sacrifice- and the murder of David became this blood sacrifice.

"With Death comes Rebirth"

In the first half of the movie we see the initiation of this theme; after they've agreed upon to bring up something revolutionary, Allen talks about how rebirth comes only after death, and in their naivety, they play out a pseudo-suicide scene to imitate death. Little did they know greater sacrifices would have to be made. Eventually as events play out, we come to realise that it is David's death that became the cause and medium for their rebirth- both academic and intra-personal. Jack and Bill co-wrote the book "And the Hippos Were Boiled in Their Tanks" about the murder of David Kammerer, and eventually rose to fame, while Allen became popular with "Howl and Other Poems", none of which could have been initiated/inspired without David's death. As for their personal growth, none of them were the same as they were before the affair. I like to think all of them changed for the better. Lucian must have finally felt a sense of relief after getting rid of his abuser, while Allen finally took-off his rose-coloured glasses, saw Lucian under a more critical light, and developed a sense of self-esteem.

A Study in Violence (I was unsure whether to include this point in this analysis or not due to the violent nature of it. But I figure this analysis would remain incomplete should I leave it out. So here it goes..) The sequence from 1:10:00 to 1:12:00 was an in-depth survey of Violence and how it can occur in different forms. In particular, it focused on how any form of penetration is intimately violating.

We see a lonely Allen being so lost that he's about to have sex with a complete stranger. This itself is very unlike him, who in the beginning of the movie was shying away from Lucian kissing an unknown girl. A few sequences later we see how he wasn't very comfortable with this idea (he wanted to turn off the lights but the other guy turned them on) and yet he was made to shift into a position he did not prefer and hence was made to have rough sex.

We see Bill looking very solemn and injecting drugs into his hands.

We see the violent altercation between Lucian and David. We see David forcing himself on Lucian and eventually being stabbed by him.

We see Jack recieving the news of the death of his friend.

In this way, we see every member of the group being exposed to some form of violence, be it sex, drugs, physical altercations or death.

First Love and its aftermath First love is also an important theme of the movie as it shows how one's first love has the capacity to radically change a person from within:

Allen's first love changed him from the shy, people-pleasing always-upright persona to the bold, radical, critical and unafraid person he became at the end of the movie.

Allen's discovery of his own style of writing can also be majorly attributed to Lucian's criticism of his rhyme-schemes.

All in all, it was his love for Lucian that drove him to become a more out-going person and ignited the mischief in his spirit, while the heartbreak of realising Lucian didn't feel the same for him also lent him invaluable insight and allowed him to develop confidence and a sense of self-esteem, which would play a significant role in him eventually becoming his own person.

While Allen's first love furnished him with the overall better things in life, the same could not be said for Lucian, sadly. Lucian's first love reminded us how oppressive love can become if the other person isn't suited-well for us; it showed us how sometimes love and obsession are separated by a thin line, and how dangerous it becomes when the line is crossed.

Lucian's story also showed us how sometimes a relationship can be more abuse than love, and when that happened, how easy it became to confuse violence with love.

The most significant message that the theme of first-love portrays is that there will always be consequences.

With this, I bring my arguments and analyses to a close. I hope a future (or even past) lover of the movie happens to stumble upon this someday and learn something fascinating about the movie (or reignite their love for it). Thank you for reading this far!

[P.S. an uplifting fact: in real life, Lucian, Allen, Jack and Bill each got the type of life they wished for, and remained friends for the rest of their lives :) ]

#kill your darlings #dark academia movies #daniel radcliffe #dane dehaan #movie critique #film analysis #I hope I could word this comprehensibly

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athena-is-a-chaotic-lil-shit · 3 years

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Feral Fatality

(Part 1)

So this has been in my works for a week now. You see, it was a typical day for me scrolling through Tumblr and visiting some....tags, and then a short drabble inspired me to write about a feral reader totally not because I was craving violence and murder no, which reached more than 4k words on the first draft so here we are! Shitty title, I know. The proofread work went over 7k, and it's not even finished yet. Once I'm done posting this and my main orc fic, I will get into the requests so please be patient!

Pairing: Jason Voorhees x Fem!Reader

Word count: 3k

Warnings: Brief blood and violence at the end of the first part

Contains: Swearing, mentions of neglect and abuse (not graphic)

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3

Screams slit through the twilight as the frigid autumn wind blew harshly through the trees of Camp Crystal Lake. The rustling of bushes and cracking of twigs echoed as foolish teenagers attempted to escape, running for their lives when they were the ones who dared step foot in the place, tarnishing it with their sins.

Jason Voorhees, the innocent kid who died several years ago; pushed to the lake by his bullies and left to drown for being different and unsightly— all because the counselors were busy with their fucking business—, returned as an undead killing machine right after his mother murdered them and died. His sole purpose: to protect the land and purge the people who had no right to be here, sentencing them to a horrendous death.

One by one, they struck the ground, lifeless, either chopped into pieces, beheaded, or stabbed countless times by his trusty machete.

Limbs...ripped off with his bare hands.

The muffled snapping of branches reached your ears as the vehicle's wheels ran over them, stirring you from your nap. You rubbed your chilled skin under your clothes as you looked out of the window, thumping your forehead on the glass when you leaned forward the moment you saw the scenery. Trees, both ancient and young, their leaves varying in hues of green, orange and red, filled your line of sight. It was still early in autumn, your favorite time of the year, not hot but not too cold either. You watched in awe as the warm-colored leaves cascaded down from the branches and down to the ground, some carried by the wind farther from their origin.

The view did its best to distract you from a couple in session a seat before yours. They always seem to do that all the time, regardless of place or occasion.

This was a week-long getaway after graduation, they said.

Nothing but a white lie.

An excuse for the girls to hook up with their campus crushes, a week of fucking and smoking drugs.

You, however, just got invited —forced— by your "friend" Eloiza, the self-proclaimed hottest girl in the entire school, typical captain of the cheerleading squad; blonde and curvy. Her words were much too sugar-coated that even a deaf person could tell she had ulterior motives.

She only planned to use you as a tool to raise her fame. A stepping stone for her own gain.

That wasn't the only reason though.

Everyone knew who you were, but only by your name. News and rumors alike spread like wildfire through gossipy mouths. Your deeds were known throughout campus.

(Y/N)(L/N), top academic competitor and multiple-award winner, a straight-A student for five years in succession. Some believed you were a genius, the rest called you insane.

You wouldn't call yourself a genius though, you did not possess the obsessive need to acquire eternal knowledge and discover the secrets of the universe as most of them do, to effortlessly solve every problem that comes their way.

If that were the case, then you wouldn't be here in the first place.

You only love learning and indulging in the beauty of Mother Nature, plus a handful of hyper-fixations.

Fine, a buttload of hyper-fixations. And such came in handy in various situations.

You were unrivaled, not one of your peers could come close to your level of wit. Many people wished to have a brain like yours, and just as many hated you for even having one, praised you just as much as slandered your name and judged you.

Despite your reputation, the poor school didn't broadcast it, at least every time. The staff probably got tired of repeating the same phrase over and over again. Which caused more than half of the whole campus to never believe you to be the one behind all of that, laughing at your face when you said your name.

"You? The (Y/N) (L/N)? Ha! As if I'd fall for that! Everyone knows how she looks. You're the absolute opposite!"

"You got to be kidding me."

"You're a joker, aren't you? Is this a prank? If so please stop it, don't pretend like you're her."

Yep, and it goes on and on and on. They were right, you didn't look like someone who would win contests or excel in class.

You constantly wore clothes that hid your form, silent unless spoken to or asked to answer, distant and reserved, you preferred the company of books and nature to the rowdiness and prying hands of humans. A sociopath they deemed you. Quite an extreme word to use when you simply wanted to enjoy the only things that made you happy in this living hell.

You only know a handful of people who approached you first-hand and praised you genuinely, even asking for an autograph, which really surprised you.

Yet, they would never understand you even if you explained, because you can't, words evade you when it comes down to voice out what you feel. Even if you can, no one would care. And even if they did? You doubt it was real. Everyone wants to use you, and they seem to believe you'd let them. You didn't trust anyone. The last time you did only left you sobbing on the dirt.

You wanted to be left alone.

To connect with nature and get as far away as possible from your parents. Parents who kept shouting profanities at each other, the main cause for your depression and anxiety levels to skyrocket, the shaking turning into trembling, 7 hours of sleep to barely a blink.

That's why you agreed to go in the first place.

You hated your household—despised it— a mess of broken shards of bottles and ceramics littered your kitchen floor more often than not. You didn't bother cleaning it up anymore, your mother would just waste away her money on more things to break and throw them at your joke of a father when they fought anyway.

Not only that, you thought...No, you believed if you worked hard to be the best and win countless competitions, your parents would give you recognition and reconcile for your sake, but no, no, no. They didn't care one bit about you or your medals, it was as if you were never even included in their lives at all. Even birthday celebrations ceased to exist in everyone's books after your 13th.

So you gave up.

Down into the void, your wishful thinking went, that they'll become better people over time, that the attention and love you deserve will be given one day. Instead, you wallowed yourself in your studies, besting everyone in everything academic. Oh, but you weren't athletic. Far from it. Damn, you were getting thin and sleep-deprived from being neglected, dark circles under your eyes every time you looked at your reflection. People hating your existence wasn't helping, some teachers even suspected you of cheating.

There's no way in hell you'd let yourself get dragged down to end up like them! You were of legal age now, a fresh graduate from high school, you doubt your parents even knew that since they didn't fucking show up on your graduation day. You were moving out of that shithole of a town. Anywhere is better than where they breathed and spat their poison.

And so here you are. Standing in this breath-taking and mysterious place. Camp Crystal Lake, it is named, secluded, barely touched by modernization as it is hidden between mountains and trees as far as the eye could see. Not to mention its namesake, the lake, you imagined it would mirror the sky, be it day or night. You loved it, you adored the fresh, breathable air that went through you the moment you stepped out of the van.

You also knew about him.

Resolved to never go back to that goddamned house, you took everything you had and needed; the special little trinkets you've collected through the years shoved into a box, the few clothes you had, art materials, and your precious books carefully packed inside a big travel bag, along with your stocked up canned goods, convenience food, snacks, and toiletries.

And other, important things.

You hauled your baggage out of the van and got off, immediately moving to the side and away from everyone.

You got used to people ignoring you that you didn't care anymore.

Why waste your time with them when you can have all of it to yourself?

Eloiza led the group into the larger cabins, the others went straight into the lake for a swim. You even notice some teens disappear into the trees, most likely for a quickie.

In return, you stayed out of their way, fully satisfied being invisible and with your own company as you trudged to a cabin, the one you caught a glimpse of earlier in the van. It was a long way's separated from the rest, closest to the forest and hidden behind a few trees.

You were panting when you finally stopped in front of it, clearly not used to walking long distances and carrying stuff near as heavy as your weight.

Upon closer inspection, you found yourself gaping at its appearance. The wooden walls lost their color as they aged, white and brown mushrooms grew on the ground along with green moss sticking to the beams, and a few vines crawling their way up and on the roof. Despite all of that, the cabin looked sturdy still.

There's this "one with nature" vibe that drew you to it, like a string pulling you closer and inviting you. Ominous most would say, but you almost cried when the rich scent of earth and oxygen filled your lungs as you took one big inhale, sighing in content for once. It was a lot smaller compared to the others, but you didn't care. As long as you were left alone with your stuff you were a-okay.

Perfect.

You turned the knob and peeked inside, letting out a small gasp and opening the door wider to see the whole thing.

Old as it is, it was proper and neat, regardless of the tiny cobwebs on the upper corners. A small, square dining table sat in the middle of the first part of the place, two wooden stools placed underneath. There were cupboards on the wall and a simple sink with an empty space to the side. You went to the next room, doorless and separated with but a wall of thick plywood. It had a single bed in the corner, off-white cotton sheets sitting atop, not a wrinkle in sight. No pillow though. There's a decent-sized closet along with a small table on one side of the bed. One of the windows had a hole in the middle, a ray of sunlight streaming in through the cracks. It was too big for the size of a gunshot, so maybe a rock.

A bit hesitant, your fingers traced the wood, feeling the inconsistent texture. When you went through the back door, your smile reached your ears when trunks of trees and bushes greeted you...

Wait, is that what you think it is?

Stepping closer to the treeline, your jaw dropped when you spotted a thicket of fruit-bearing plants past them, gathered in a tiny clearing.

Blueberries.

Purple little cuties poked out of the green shrubs, sporting a vibrant hue that caught your eye. The sun shone overhead and providing the energy they needed. Blueberries managed to grow in the area despite the trees fencing them.

Tempted and suspicious, you crouched down, inspecting the shrub if it really was a blueberry plant and not a deadly doppelganger. Once you were sure it was, (it would be hilarious if you simply died from nighshade poisoning), you plucked one and brought it to your mouth. It was sweeter than you expected, with a slightly bitter aftertaste. You hummed in delight, wiping the juice with your thumb when it dribbled out, staining your finger and lips.

You didn't want to anger anybody. Hell, coming here was already trespassing, so you didn't push your luck and left it alone, hoping they'd forgive you for picking one. They surely didn't look wild with the way they lined up.

You scanned the rest of the area, eventually going back inside to unpack after your little evaluation.

The sun was a hand's away from setting when you finished. Pride swelled in your chest at the work you did, your things stocked and organized with care inside the cabinets and drawers. You won't have to worry about your food for now as cupboards were filled to the brim with them. You also had a decent amount of money left from your savings account that your parents weren't aware of. Prize money, allowance, and the salary you got from doing online jobs all went into it. The camp was a few miles off the road, and a couple more to the nearest gas station with a convenience store. Very far yes, but it's better than living with the people who made you do this in the first place.

You just hoped you wouldn't die walking.

Everything was worth it, anyways. You were free now, at least that's what you think.

You trudged to the bed, eyeing the cushions, wary and a little scared to touch the sheets that appeared to be cleaned just recently, you didn't even lay a finger on them ever since you got inside. Oh, but your tired muscles were screaming to just flump down and relax.

So you did.

You dumped yourself face first and inhaled. It wasn't smelly nor fragrant, just the simple freshness on the cotton fabric. You felt beat but ain't sleepy, yet, so you reached to the drawer beside the bed and pulled out a book to pass the time as you waited for the sun to go down and give way for the moon. Its spine and pages had creases, worn out and yellow-stained from age and use. It was a horror-mystery novel told through a first-person narrative, a story of a middle-aged detective and her Maine coon in their attempts to solve a murder case of a young European lady named Cassandra Chase.

You dozed off in the middle of chapter 21, the part where Dinnie, the cat, discovers a valuable clue to the crime, a rotten limb in the dried basement well.

—

Jason settled down on the stairs of his porch; shoulders relaxed and hunched as he leisurely sharpened his machete with a small whetstone. Lines of sunlight kissed him through the leaves of trees, the birds in the area chirped on their perches, and the grass swayed, gentle, as a cool wind passed by.

His day be so fine. No troublemakers to deal wi—

The alarm rang, announcing unwelcomed arrival. As if a switch flipped inside, he's already on his feet, making his way swiftly to their location.

A new batch of wretched youngsters, another day ruined. Hunting them down makes his blood thrum in his veins, yes, but they soured his mood, just when he was at peace. He's dead set on slaughtering them in the most gruesome ways possible, only then he could go back and enjoy the serenity the nature around him brings.

He surveyed the area, camouflaging with the wilderness, silent as he watched and counted the soon-to-be corpses, his mother's voice at the back of his mind, guiding him.

They decided to go either to the main cabins, or the lake...even into the trees.

All but one.

Jason already planned to cut down the couple later as they lose themselves in the forest, doing nasty, dirty things to his camp. The killer shifted his attention to you, curious as to why you didn't join the lot. Instead, you walked back down the road. He followed and saw you approach the small cabin, separated from the rest, your eyes widened...

Adoration?

You were quiet— except for the little gasps of awe you let out in between pants—as you looked around and over the place. The ones you came with were rowdy and destructive, a complete opposite. He hid as he observed you from afar, moving around to adjust his vision on you. You smiled every time you looked to the trees, he noticed.

Why were you smiling like that? Why did you pick this cabin? Were you planning on defiling it?

The last question in his mind made his blood boil. He'll kill you first if that was the case. That cabin you chose was special, it was where he and his mother used to stay. He occasionally visits that one to keep it clean and free of dust. If you even think of—

Jason, sweetie...look closer. She does not have such intentions.

His mother's words rang in his head. Even from where he stood, he could see what you did inside. You looked a little hesitant, touching and drawing back your hand before letting your fingers feel the wood as if it was something delicate. Despite the initial...shyness? You proceeded to make it your home, somewhat, dropping the large duffel bags you carried on your front and back, and a similarly large roller case on your left. It was as if you planned to stay for a long time.

Jason hears you take a long breath and sigh as you went out the backdoor. You grinned wider when you saw the nature around you. You stepped forward, straight in his direction...

For a moment he thought you saw him, seeing your jaw drop. You moved closer, and he just froze there, until you crouched down.

Oh, his plants.

He watched you as you gently picked a fruit, your gaze...soft. You brought it to your mouth, some of the juice spilling on the side and you wiped it with your thumb.

Cute.

You went back inside and continued to unpack your things, carefully maneuvering around the cabin.

Maybe he'll spare you if you continue to be good. You didn't do anything dirty, yet. It's only a matter of time before the camp is shrouded in darkness and his hunt will begin.

Let's see what you'll do before that happens.

Jason tracked down the three that went into the forest. He knew the place like the back of his hand, and it was easier to pinpoint them as he heard moans.

What he saw was utmost disgusting, two girls pleasuring a male with their mouths in broad daylight.

Kill them, my boy! Such foul beings need to die! Kill them, kill!

He circled them, steps soundless. Jason gripped his machete and brought it down the guy's neck, embedding the weapon into the bark, the head rolled down, oozing with blood, and fell against the women, drenching them in red. Not a single cry left from their mouths as he sliced both with one swing, blood pouring out of their throats and staining the ground. Jason dragged their bodies and tossed them into a pit he dug beforehand, making quick work in burying them.

A swift end. Now he waits.

#jason voorhees x reader #jason x reader #friday the 13th #blood #violence #slatra #lmao #my writing #fiction #horror #slasher x reader #feral reader #slasher x fem!reader #reader insert #slasher fic #slasher x reader fic #jason voorhees #friday the 13th fic

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tarotbytya · 3 years

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Pluto Retrograde in Capricorn (April 27-Oct 5)

Pluto is one of the most intense and powerful planets circling the universe. Pluto’s energy is honestly necessary, especially when it comes to making changes and evolving.This retrograde is forcing us to focus on our own personal shadow sides, specifically, the negative parts of ourselves that we may not really like or want to change. We’re focusing on our deepest selves, transformation and our subconscious and two important themes that Pluto highlights is power and desire. During this retrograde, be honest with yourself about how much you’re motivated by a need for recognition, money and authority.

When Pluto retrogrades we are given the opportunity to dig deep below surface level to better acquaint ourselves with our subconscious. Pluto is a slow-moving planet so transits from Pluto to a natal planet could last up to 3 years or more. Because of this, this is one main reasons that Pluto Retrograde are important. Pluto’s movement can dominate entire years of our lives and if one of our natal planets is caught in the cross-hairs of Pluto's retrograde stations, these effects could be intense. During Pluto’s retrograde, we strive to gain clarity on the things that are no longer working for us, so we can release them and move forward as an new and improved version of ourselves. We can either put in the work necessary to transform during this retrograde or end up stuck in a rut. Since this retrograde is occurring in Capricorn, we’re being ask to deal with matters involving karma, structure, and stability—both on a personal and collective levels. You could be more focused on career and status-oriented right now but you should feel eager to get rid of any obstacles that are preventing you from moving forward professionally. Change is on the horizon, whether we’re ready to embrace it or not.

Natal Pluto Retrograde

Natal Pluto Retrograde has karmic repercussions and a noticeable influence.

With natal Pluto Retrograde, you may have difficulty transforming your life due to the fear of letting go. This internalization process of retrogrades can slow you down while bringing your intense drives and needs to the surface. You will probably have difficulty expressing your personal power and influence.

Fear of being controlled or of taking control can stem from past life experiences involving abuse of power or being overly controlled. Depending on the particular past life conditions, you may have a fear of death, poverty, manipulation, torture, imprisonment, being committed to a mental institution, exile, or betrayal. Power and control issues may also involve psychic realms, sex, and inheritance.

For such reasons, you can be very intense on the inside, secretive, or a control freak. Past life conditioning can repeat, especially while young, in the form of compulsions, phobias, isolation, or mistrust of family. You may develop strong psychic power as a result of internalizing your powerful drives and wish for power and success. Hiding your true desire for power and influence can lead to suspicion.

Pluto retrograde in your natal chart subjects you to many fated events that are aimed at bringing your deepest and darkest fears to the surface. A repeating theme of particular experiences will continue until you learn to safely express your inner power and intensity.

Pluto Retrograde & The Signs

Some signs will have an easier time during this retrograde than others. Scorpio and Capricorn will feel this energy very closely—the vibrations from it are ones they’re used to working with. This can be to their benefit. As a mutable sign, Pisces shouldn’t have much of a problem going along with this transformative period.

Virgos are always down for a challenge, especially if it means things can be improved or fixed! Geminis and Leos are most likely be the ones to be thrown off balance. Aries and Tauruses may feel tested, while Cancers, Libras, Sagittarius’, and Aquarius’ will want to take things in stride.

Aries:

You’re known for loving your freedom but this Retrograde is asking you to take a deeper look at what that actually means. If you’ve been avoiding making certain career moves or you’re afraid of being tied down to your profession, the universe could have something to say. A professional opportunity could be coming your way. Make sure you are using this time to figure out how to reach your full professional potential. Responsibility can be scary, but it is braver to face it head-on, rather than run from it.

Taurus:

Security and stability are important to you. This retrograde is asking you to switch and mix things up in ways you’re not always prepared for. Relationships or jobs may fall to the wayside but the opportunity for internal growth is endless. For others, embracing a childhood dream or taking classes on a subject that you always wanted to learn about will boost your spirit to the next level.

Gemini

Your relationships might feel a little intense during this retrograde. Others may be going ghost or hermit mode but you’ll want to talk openly about your feelings. Although, it could be difficult giving others their space, especially when you’re in the mood to connect, but try not to take it personally. Remember everyone could be sorting through their own emotions, and sometimes it comes at the cost of detachment and isolation. Instead, try to schedule some time for yourself, and don’t be afraid to release people or situations that are no longer serving you. For others, you could be taking a step back to observe or pay attention to the effect you have on others. Re-evaluate the words you use when confronting and addressing other people.

Cancer:

This retrograde might not be that easy. With Pluto being placed in Capricorn, you’ll be directly confronted with the energy of this retrograde. This is the time for you to face any personal or professional issues you’ve been avoiding. Your love life could get shaken up a little as well. Before allowing yourself to engage in an argument, try to find a balanced and reasonable way of understanding your partner's needs to ensure serenity. Boundaries and communication is important right now. You may need to set some in order to gain some time to yourself.

Leo

Your work-life and balance could come into play during this retrograde. You may need to examine your time management and perhaps even your sleep patterns. Try to map about your priorities and obligations in a way that allows you to have a your career and home life. Also, before others try to take credit for your ideas or work, make sure that you’re making your name and efforts known by everyone, especially your boss.

Virgo:

You could be acting a little bit of a perfectionist which could allow this retrograde to go in either direction. On one hand, you’re always up for change, while on the other hand, you sometimes will hesitate to break away from your habits, if they’ve been working for you so far. Allow yourself to try new techniques and explore new thing.

Libra

This retrograde will have you focused on your home life. Whether you’re on the hunt for a new place to live, settling into a new place, encountering situations with roommates or need to finally clean out the guest room—change is coming. If you’re unhappy in your current living situation put in the work to change the situation. Take the necessary steps to make your home the save haven you deserve.

Scorpio:

The way you think about certain people or situations could change. Don’t be afraid of expressing your thoughts and sentiments right now, especially if it’s with people you want and hope to grow with. Make sure you are allowing others to have a chance to let their feelings be known as well.

Sagittarius:

Your heart wants to move without restriction and Pluto in Capricorn is pushing you to prioritize your responsibilities. Money matters and issues have been creating problems in your life. Tighten up your on finances during this retrograde and make plans to pay off any debt from the past that’s been hanging over your head.

Capricorn:

This retrograde will be a direct hit for you. What you prioritize will come into play during this time. If you realize you’re not working hard enough it may be time to make some lifestyle changes. On the other hand, if you’ve been working too hard, consider taking time out to restructure your game plan. Try loosening up the reins a little bit and give yourself a moment of chill.

Aquarius

Healing past trauma is a lifelong process. As long as you're willing and open to look at matters honestly, you’ll be gain a better understanding of yourself. During this retrograde, you may become even more aware of how society needs to evolve. When you’re feeling down about the world, do something to take action toward causes you feel passionate about.

Pisces:

Take some time to consider which of your friends and acquaintances are supportive and positive, versus the ones who aren’t. It’s okay to step back from people who don’t have your best interests at heart.

#pluto retrograde #daily tarot #tarotlife #astrology

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itsyabtsbitch · 4 years

Text

Hyung Line! Reaction to you being their Soulmate

Note: The Maknae Line Reaction is already up on my page!

Requests are open!

Kim Seokjin

You had a timer on your wrist and at the young age of 12 those numbers seemed to go on forever

Even when you became older it still felt like you would only meet him when you're 56

While you didn't like it, other people were jealous of you knowing when exactly you would see your s/o

,,You don't get it. I wish I could have the whole surprise moment..."

It was also kind of sad going out and knowing that nothing would happen while all of your friends were excited of it maybe 'finally being the day'

Over the years you started to pay less and less attention to the numbers counting down

If you were also good at math you could have realised that one faithful morning you were hours away from meeting your soulmate

But of course you didn't

After not finding any milk and or cereal, you knew you had to go grocery shopping

You were grumpy af, because you didn't get to eat any breakfast

Oh well

Just as you were rounding another aisle, you crashed against something or rather someone hard

You were ready to feel the impact of your fall, but it never came

Mr.worldwidehandsome reacted with precise skills and caught you

His eyes met yours and for a few seconds the world seemed to stand still...-until both of you realised how akward the position you were in was

,,Thank you for uhm...saving me. I will try to pay attention the next time." You hung your head in shame. The blinking of zeroes brought you out of your embarassment though.

,,Yes you really should...but I'm glad that both of us didn't pay attention today" the handsome man showed you his wrist, that displayed the same number of zeroes on his skin.

,,I'm Kim Seokjin."

Kim Namjoon

The first time you noticed your soulmate connection was when you woke up with blonde/brown/black hair (whatever you don't have now)

It was shocking but you honestly didn't mind, because it didn't look bad

You were also happy to know that your soulmate existed

But that happiness ceased very quickly when you realised that the chance of actually finding that person was pretty low

Like, there are a ton of people with that hair color?!

Well anyway

One fateful day your stupid boss just fired you without a chance to explain yourself...Like, you didn't mean to set the kitchen on fire, okay?

You obviously had to go and find a new job after that

Lucky for you, it only took you 30 min of searching through the internet, to find a open spot as a make up artist at a company called Bighit

Not thinking too much about it you sent your application and one day later you had an interview

It went really good

They called you 2 hours later and told you that you got the job

Of course you did your personal happy-dance that looked more like a bird trying to fly for the first time than an actual dance whoops

At least your neighbours didn't see you

Yeah uhmmm

One week later you had your first day at work

You were nevous as fuck and everyone could see it

But they understood what you were going through so it was fine

Your new chef introduced you to Kim Namjoon, a very attractive idol that you would take care of...make up wise ofc.

Thinking about being close to him made you even more nervous and when it was time to do his make up you were shaking

Namjoon didn't even blink an eye at that. He was completely calm and just told you to breath in and out slowly

On the inside he was freaking out about how beautiful you were though

About two months later you and Namjoon were a great team and even the other members started shipping you (*cue Joonie being a blushing mess*)

Since Bighit was pretty chill about their employees having special hair colours or tatoos, you decided that you needed a change

The fact that your soulmate also shared that connection with you may have affected your choice just a liiiittle bit

You were also tired of being single so you picked a colour that would be easy to recognize and let's just say...Namjoon was not too excited about waking up with purple hair...

But at least you both instantly knew that you were soulmates, sooo yay?

+ his grumpy additude disappeared the second he saw the smile on your face. Even the teasing of his best friends couldn't tear his new mood down.

Jung Hoseok

You were a fan of BTS for about 4 months

But somehow you managed to read almost every single fanfic about Hoseok in that time

Your favorite is the one where you have that special moment during a concert

Like: your eyes met, the lights dimmed..the crowd around you got silent and all that other shit

Just basic soulmate stuff that you would never ever experience...

Hah. Joke's on you.

Okay time skip for another two months

BTS announced a Tour in your city and of course you were freaking out

Thank god you tried to save some money for a vacation...that could wait anyway.

After aggressivly typing and scrolling on your computer you actually managed to get a ticket

You may have screamed a little bit too loud but whatever, right?

The only sad thing was that you would have to go alone

Brushing that thought away, you started to think about what you would wear and need

When the day of the concert came you were r e a d y.

So ready that your dumbass somehow made it through the line and got a place in the front row

Congrats to you

You didn't realise how close you were to the stage until the boys actually stood there

Like holy shit wow omg what

The first 30 min were a mixture of happiness, crying and (let's be honest) a little bit sexual frustration

Fucking Jung Hoseok and his black clothes. Ugh.

When 'so what' came on though...Hobi stopped right infront of your corner

Obviously everyone started screaming and calling his name

But you were too lost in the moment to actually react

Maybe that's why he noticed you...

Wait what?

The crowd around you seemed to fade, the music was barely recognizable and his eyes held a unspoken story in them that you would like to explore...

At least that's what you tell everyone when they ask you about the moment you met your soulmate

But deep inside you know that no words in the world could ever describe the way you felt when his eyes met yours...because it was almost magical (at least that's what Hoseok always said)

Well anyway

After getting out of whatever trance you were stuck in, Hobi talked to the security guards

They managed to get you out of the crowd (where at least 30 girls were watching you with a jealous death stare) and get you backstage

That's where you met your sunshine loving boyfriend for the first time

Min Yoongi

You were a music producer masking your identity under the name 'saltea' (lmao you know I had to)

At first your music barely got any recognition

20 views were the maximum for you and even though it may seem like a small number to some people, you were so proud

,,Mom! It just got 23 views! That's almost a whole class!"

Big uwu energy

You obviously continued to follow your dream, even when some of your 'friends' told you that nobody would really care about your music

Well screw them because your new music video got 50 views hah!

It went on like that for another 3 years until you were 21 years old

You somehow got the offer to collab with Selena Gomez after a particular song you posted

That was when your career did a whole 360 and went 📈

People started to follow you, like your music and ask to work together (Guys I'm so sorry but tumblr says I reached a limit??!?🤡 so you'll have to deal with pics now UGHHHH WTF SEND HELP :(

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crystal-creations-0019-blog · 5 years

Text

Name: Victor John Adley

Age: 26

Birthday: October 31st

Zodiac: Scorpio

Scorpio-born are passionate and assertive people. They are determined and decisive, and will research until they find out the truth. Scorpio is a great leader, always aware of the situation and also features prominently in resourcefulness. Scorpio is a Water sign and lives to experience and express emotions. Although emotions are very important for Scorpio, they manifest them differently than other water signs. In any case, you can be sure that the Scorpio will keep your secrets, whatever they may be.

Birth Place: London England

Gender: Male

Sexuality: Asexual, Demiromantic

Alignment: Neutral

Blood type: O

Personality construct/disorder: Alexithymia

Alexithymia is essentially a dysfunction in the normal emotional awareness processes that makes it tough for people to put a label on their feelings, Richey explains. In research, it has been described as a “personality construct characterized by altered emotional awareness” and something that “negatively impacts empathic processing.” In practice, alexithymia makes it difficult to recognize when you're feeling something and even more difficult to assign a name to it.

Early studies showed evidence that there may be an interhemispheric transfer deficit among people with alexithymia; that is, the emotional information from the right hemisphere of the brain is not being properly transferred to the language regions in the left hemisphere, as can be caused by a decreased corpus callosum, often present in psychiatric patients who have suffered severe childhood abuse. This would tie in with Victors childhood, as the experiments done on him did mess with his brain quite a bit and could have changed quite a few things around.

Voice Claim?: https://m.youtube.com/watch?autoplay=1&v=3egIslyHnLE

Quote(s)-

“Why fight...when I’ve already won...?”

Physical Appearance

Hair Type: short

Hair Color: Burgundy-Brown

Eye Color: emerald green

Height: 5’10

Weight: 155

Strength: 7/10

Intelligence: 10/10

Charisma: 6/10

Loyalty: 3/10

Hacking skills: 10/10

BioEngineering skills: 8/10

Interrogation skills: 8/10

Cruelty level: 9/10

Outfit: he wears a grey shirt with a black trench coat with lights that changes colors depending on his emotions (there’s something implanted in his head that’s connected to his nervous system to help this work, this jacket was his first invention as an older teen/young adult), he also wears black pants and black shoes

What do the lights on his coat mean?:

• Green-Calm/neutral

• Powder Blue-Sadness

• Red-Anger

• Orange-Embarrassment

• Yellow-Happiness

• Purple-N/A

• Pink-Love

• White-confusion

• Black-Fear/afraid

• Blood red- rage

• Dark Blue- Depression

• Gold yellow-excitement/overjoyed/amusement

• Gray-pain (because why not)

• Brown- nervous/anxious

Personal Life

Hobbies: N/A

Likes: calm tranquil areas, piece and quiet, interrogation {easy interrogation}

Dislikes: the organization (obviously), being touched, incompetence.

Fears: Electrocution

Status: Hacker, Inventor, scientist, Bioengineer.

Old Alliance: an old evil organization, a long time ago

New Alliance: He works for Himself

Personality: he isn’t the nicest person, he can be rude, grumpy, stubborn and cruel. He likes to mess with his patients/‘victims’ (kidnapped agents) from time to time depending on how well they behave for him. He takes his job very seriously and is extremely intelligent with a lack of empathy for others well being, though at times he can be kind depending on if you get on his good side or not. When he is polite it unfortunately could only be a farce, Ruthless and willing to do what it takes to get what he wants from a situation, it is notable that he is more than a bit of a psychopath.

Back Story

Backstory- Victor was a former agent of The organization, though not much is known about him or his backstory. However the obvious scaring on his neck to the back of his head show an obvious sign of experimentations done on him, electricity scars to be more precise about what type they are

Childhood/early teens: At a young age he went through what is called supercharge sessions, which enhances one’s cognitive abilities through stimulation done by performing direct magnetic and electrical pulses to specific regions of the brain. This can be used to either quiet some mental processes and to activate or enhance others. direct stimulation to the brain through magnetic or electrical pulses can improve memory, pattern recognition, the ability to pay attention, mathematical skills, among many others including athletic skills. Side effects of these methods can include the alteration of brain regions they didn’t intend to touch, boosting one ability that comes with an unexpected trade-off where one mental process is sacrificed. It also leaves mental/psychological scars, especially since the ones who did this to him were his own family. He was basically their intelligence experiment, he ran away after the experiment was successful.

• His past is very unknown but it is known that he started inventing at a very young age.

• He was one of Novitatis’ favorite agents for obvious reasons when he was apart of the organization.

• He has a daughter, Celena. However she stays with the mother at the agency. He does actually care for her though, even if he won’t admit to it.

• He tends to keep a monotone voice and blank/neutral expression if not at all times, unless you actually get to him

• He doesn’t like being touched, at all.

• He isn’t easy to interrogate, very stubborn.

• He has hypermobility in his arms/shoulders so keep an eye on him when he’s handcuffed. It’s better to tie him to a chair than handcuff his hands behind his back.

• He’s better at shooting a gun from a far distance rather than fighting hand to hand combat, get close up to him and you can take him down with ease.

• He’s made a serum that causes the bones in ones body to break easily, as easy as cracking a peanut.

• he has also made a serum for paralyzing his victims and of course to help himself fall asleep at night, knocks him out cold and anyone else injected with it

• Victors favorite invention is his force field belt, it looks just like any other regular belt so its easily disguised. The name itself is explanatory enough, it envelopes the body in a blue protective force field once turned on.

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danandthereader · 7 years

Note

Could you write one about Dan teaching you how to sing and you're kinda bad at it but you have a fun time with him anyway? And it doesn't really help that he's staring directly at you and using his heavenly voice?

A/N: This prompt is absolutely adorable, and I am so excited to finally get to fill it ! One of my lowkey dreams has always been to duet with Dan, so this is just as much a fill for me as it is for you, lovely. ♡ Thank you so much for sending this in, and I hope you like it !Also, for reference, this was the song that Dan and the reader were singing along to !

HARMONY

Teaching someone to sing was a lot harder than most people thought it was. You didn’t just sit down, do a couple rounds of harmonies, and you were good to go. It wasn’t like riding a bike, or learning to swim. It was more like learning a language, or math, even - if you stopped practicing, you would forget how to do it right, and you’d fail.You were never a singer. As a little kid, you had the same dream as everyone, to become a singer, but you never had the patience to go to the lessons, or go through the motions to get better. In a very child-like fashion, you just wanted to be good; when you found out it took a lot of work, it stopped being your passion. It was, however, your best friend’s. When you finally opened up to each other, started sharing stories of your childhood and lives, Dan told you about he’d always been singing, in one way or another. In the shower when he was a teenager, on top of mountains to himself when he was travelling as a young adult; evolving into Skyhill, Ninja Sex Party, Starbomb, collaborations and features and connections and being someone.It was his passion, not yours, but the two of you liked sharing your passions with one another. He liked singing, you liked reading books. He hadn’t insisted on teaching you to sing, not exactly, but he did spend a pretty decent amount of time trying to convince you to sit with him in his apartment livingroom and take a few pointers. And you did always love hearing him sing, whenever you were allowed to listen in on acoustic sessions with Brian or soundchecks before concerts, so in truth, there was no real downside to it.

Sitting in front of him, legs crossed over one another, you listened to him do scales, slow and steady, an exercise in recognizing changes in pitch. To show that you were catching it, you mirrored his vocalizations, going up then down then back up again, him smiling more and more as you did it with him. “Better,” he told you after the two of you had finished. “Wanna try again?” Your face must’ve scrunched up, because he laughed. “That’s a hard pass.” The two of you had been doing it for half an hour, listening and mirroring, it’s how these singing lessons always started out, and you just wanted to move on. You felt like you were back in middle school, bored with one subject and antsy to move onto a more interesting one. He shifted, scooting a bit closer. “You just wanna sing don’t you?” His voice had gone teasing, cutesy and gooey, making you laugh a little too, but keep your face scrunched, all closed eyes and wrinkled nose. “All right, all right. C’mere.”Pulling out his phone, he plugged in his headphones and held one out to you. Taking the earbud, you were fully expecting him to turn on something more his style, something from the 70s or 80s that you only knew the words to because your father used to like the song and turn up the volume in the car whenever it came on the radio, and you were going to half-hum along until the chorus started. However, he surprised you with your favorite artist instead, the song bright and bubbly and very recent. It made your eyebrows come together, but the smile break to your face quick as the recognition clicked in your brain. The song was about a girl truly figuring out that she loved a boy. It was a little silly, and the artist had written it when she was about the same age as you, but it was one of your favorites. To know Dan had it on his phone - more than likely because of you as well - only made your heart flutter. As the singing began, you did too.

Admittedly, even after the few things Dan had taught you, you still weren’t the best. But you were smiling, and so was he, as you sang along, slightly off-key and hitting the wrong notes on every other word. The singers in your ears were much more experienced in this sort of thing than you were, though, making it sound so much easier than you felt it was. Dan was indeed singing along, voice gentle and lilting through the space left between the two of you. Honestly, you never thought your music preferences would rub off on him - the two of you were very different in that respect - but he always surprised you in the sweetest of ways.As the song continued on, you got more and more confident in your ability to keep up, at least with the female artist. She sounded so bubbly and giddy, a feeling you shared with her whenever you were around the boy across from you. The singing lessons were an easy in to spend time with Dan, someone who didn’t seem to have a lot of it free for just hanging out. It was a disposition you could mimic easily at the moment, or really any moment you got to see that fluff of chestnut hair and hear his laugh. Your confidence and familiarity, along with your overall relation to the song, must’ve shown, because he was beaming at you, watching, singing along, matching your harmonies instead of the other way around. He seemed to have such an easy time with that, even though you were hitting the wrong notes or just straight-up missing them, but he seemed to be enjoying himself, and you were too. You were bouncing just a little every so often, your sense of rhythm just as off, but he didn’t seem to mind.It wasn’t a lie, though, if you said it was a little daunting, having Dan watching you like he was. Sure, his eyes were bright and he was singing along with the same warmth and giggly attitude as you were, but there was… Something else in his eyes, in his features, something you couldn’t quite place. Maybe he was studying you still, still trying to be the teacher despite being your friend for so long.

When the song ended, there was a lull of quiet, no song coming after it, just the two of you looking at each other, grinning like idiots, and overcome with an almost overwhelming feeling of warmth. “Can we do another one?” you heard yourself ask, and he nodded, almost excited. “Yeah, definitely!” He swiped on his phone, tapped on the screen a few times, and another song began, by the same girl, another song about relationships and love and being happy together. Almost immediately you begun singing, and he did too, louder and more confident than any of the others times you had done this with him. You started bouncing again, sort of shimmying your shoulders to the words, and he laughed, wiggle-dancing along with you.Maybe it was just because you really liked the girl you were listening to, or liked the boy you were listening to even more, but you were having fun. That’s what mattered between friends, even if one of them didn’t feel just-friends feelings toward the other.

#dan avidan #danny sexbang #dan x reader #dan avidan x reader #reader insert #answered #anonymous #req fill

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shakespeare-and-company · 7 years

Text

You're a we. You're a you. You're a she, an it, a they. My kingdom for an I.

This is my review of Turtles All The Way Down, the most recent contemporary fiction release by John Green.

I wasn’t even halfway through this novel when I realised how conflicted I felt about it. My first impression was one of coming home, the sense that - while not the most original in plot and often of a similar structure - this particular author’s narratives always feel like a sort of comfort food for the soul, sad and honest and “innocently self-indulgent”, as a reviewer recently put it.

When I read my first John Green novel I was already 19 years old, not quite an adult yet but also not necessarily in the mindset of a teenager anymore. That same year I picked up three more of his books and, although I didn’t love them all equally, there was something about the way John always seemed to not simply speak into the void but to me, specifically, personally, like he knew. Many have made fun of him for it, have ridiculed the connection he creates with thousands of young, flechling minds when, in the end, isn’t this what every young adult, every person, wants - to be heard, to be understood, for someone out there to explain this curious feeling inside when you can’t find the words yourself?

This, I believe, is the strength of Turtles All The Way Down. Whether you struggle with mental illness or not, there are countless instances in which you can’t help but identify with Aza, to feel grateful that she has given voice to something you have always felt or known or wondered but never dared to express quite like that before. To me this has always been the magic of John’s writing, his not-so-secret secret to success, and as someone who has a less poetic version of John in her own life - someone who just has that gift of speaking to teenagers, capturing their attention and respect and making them feel heard, like they matter, like their opinions and thoughts and dreams are as important as anyone else’s - I have always been grateful and grateful and just so grateful to be included in this sphere of connectedness, even now that I am approaching my mid-twenties and life is less about school and more about an entirely new, even scarier adventure.

Thus far I haven’t really gone into a lot of details concerning the plot because I wanted my review to be more about how I felt rather than what specifically happens on the page. However, for those of you who don’t mind minor spoilers, there is a bit more on what I liked/didn’t like down below.

The one thing I really couldn’t seem to get behind is the whole money issue. I’m not sure what purpose it served or if there’s hidden meaning that just sailed right by me but this aspect of the story kinda bugged me throughout the entire novel. Although I liked Davis as a character, I felt like that relationship in general developed fairly quickly and could have been flushed out more. The dynamic with Daisy and even Aza’s mom was much more complex and therefore also more enjoyable to follow. It's not a lot of criticism but these elements did heavily influence the development of the story (and thus my reading experience), making the process of rating even harder than usual.

Moving on to the overwhelming side of good, I loved, loved, loved Aza’s perspective and how her thought process was portrayed whilst also depicting how the outside world interacted with and reacted to her. As a reader you often feel uncomfortable in your/her skin which is, of course, the point - she herself doesn’t want to be in that body, doesn’t want to share her self with other entities, can’t even quite decide if she believes there to be an I, an her at all.

I also really appreciated how mental health and productivity as a connected phenomenon were deconstructed and the many different, unsuccessful ways in which Aza attempts to communicate her feelings. Thoughts invading her from the outside, meds and circumstances changing her beyond recognition, her body not being her own to begin with, the idea of living with/being a demon/dragon, even Davis pondering weather you are what you have - all that build up an intricate narrative which is so very important for readers of every age, but especially children who will then grow up knowing that it’s okay and even if it’s not okay right now they can get through this, will never forget that things may always get better, that there is nothing wrong with them even if things are never good, if better is all it ever gets, it will be okay.

Until next time,

- Laura

#reviews #2017 #john green #turtles all the way down #american #ya #contemporary literature #stand alone

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