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shhh-secret-time · 2 days

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Star Park AU: Kyle Broflovski Edition

-> Moved back to the Valley after graduating and getting his doctorate. (He's essentially where Harvey is in game.)

-> Couldn't find work out i the city so he moved back to the Valley

-> His parents stayed in the city but they allowed Ike to move back with Kyle as long as he agreed to take good care of him.

-> He has files on everyone's medical history and they're organized based on who's the easiest patient to deal with to who he has to literally drag in to his office. It goes: Karen, Wendy and Nichole, Kenny, Craig, Heidi, Tolkien and Scott, Butters, Ike and Jimmy, Tweek, Sharon, Shelly, Bebe, Stan, Clyde, All of the Goths, Randy, and finally Cartman.

-> He makes monthly walks to the Wizard tower to check on the Goths. They've told him before they don't need it because they have magic but he doesn't believe them.

-> Kyle and Wendy work hard to make things easier for Jimmy around town. The mayor fights them over the funding. Wendy has to practically drag Kyle away from fighting the mayor.

-> He's the only person that Scott trusts with his meds, always making sure to pick his medication up.

-> When he's not working he checks in with Heidi over Ike's education, sometimes he sits in and helps out when he can.

Gift Guide:

Loves: Fire Opal, Pomegrantes, Poppy, Starfruit Wine, Artichoke Dip Likes: All Books, Emerald, Coffee, Magma Cap, Tea leaves Neutral: All Fish (Except Shrimp), Beer, All Eggs Dislikes: Radioactive Ore/Bar, Fertilizer, Escargot, Mudstone Hates: Bananas, Banana Pudding, Shrimp, Bug Meat, Roe (Any)

Loved: "A..Are you serious?! Thank you so much!" Liked: "You thought of me? That's very kind, thank you." Neutral: "Thank...you? It's the thought that counts." Dislikes: "Ugh. I don't want your trash." Hates: "Really? What went through your head when giving me this? God...."

Heart Event @ 2:

Kyle is outside with his brother, one of the rare times he's free from working. He's sitting on the bench at the park reading through his medical files. Ike is playing by himself looking a little lonely. Farmer walks up and sees him sadly rocking on the spring rider. Ike tells the Farmer that he misses playing with his brother, it just seems like he never has time for him anymore. Farmer thinks for a moment before walking over to Kyle, who only notices them when they sit down. He greets them with a smile, quickly going back to his reading. >> Do you ever take a break? How can you be on your laptop right now? It's so nice out! (-) >> Ike looks a little sad, doesn't he? (+) If First Option: Kyle gets slightly annoyed, Farmer should know better than anyone here that he can't just stop working. He notes rather dryly he would have thought he'd be free of their lecturing, seeing as he gets enough of it from Stan.

"I appreciate your concern really, but I'm this towns only doctor last time I checked. I happen to like reading outside."

If Second Option: Kyle looks up from his laptop with concern on his face. He frowns when he realizes that he's been ignoring his brother, and how Ike is rocking back and forth with no care. Turning to the Farmer, he expresses gratitude for bringing it to his attention. He feels back for not seeing it himself, he was just hoping to catch up a little on work before he went home. He closes his laptop, putting it to the side, and stands up. Farmer jumps up with them and offers to play with him and his brother!

"Then I hope you're ready for the longest game of hide-n-seek of your life. You didn't have anything planned for the rest of the day right?"

Heart Event @ 4:

Kyle visits the Farmer early in the morning, greeting them while they're walking to the shipping bin. He apologizes for showing up unannounced. He would have called but he didn't think the Farmer would be able to hear the phone from the fields. Farmer doesn't seem to mind which makes him feel better, physically relaxing. Looking past them, he compliments their hard work on turning the fields into an actual farm. Afterwards he goes on to tell them that their crops have made things better even if they don't realize it. Tells them that the fresh food is better for the townsfolk than Jojo's food. >> I don't actually do that much farming. I'm more into fishing or mining. (/) >> Thanks Kyle! It's nice to get a little appreciation! (/) >> I didn't think of it that way...you really think of everything huh? (/) If First Option: Kyle goes quiet, the longer the silence the more his face turns red. Embarrassment dusting his cheeks. Under his breath he says something about the farm at least looking clean.

"At least your farm looks cleaner then Mr. Marsh's. Smells better too."

If Second Option: Kyle chuckles and tells them there's no reason to thank them! He's in the same boat sometimes and that even now he's here's to do his job. He wonders if anyone else has been out this way yet?

"I just realized you haven't had a checkup with me yet. Swing by the clinic okay? I don't want you to get sick."

If Third Option: Farmer turns the table on them, Kyle gets flustered over the small praise. At least he takes it as praise. He scoffs, telling them to stop being so humble. Being a Farmer is hard work and they should realize the good they do.

"Please. Not just anyone can get Cartman to eat a vegetable. You're good at what you do!"

Heart Event @ 5:

Next time Farmer walks into the clinic they walk back into Kyle's office. He's surprised to actually see them, telling them that he is pleased that he didn't have to drag them in. When Farmer looks at him confused, Kyle tells them that sometimes he has to go and "collect" some of the townsfolk for their appointments. So, it's nice that there's someone else so willing to come in. After a moment he gets a little embarrassed that he started rambling again. Farmer is just easy to talk to, they listen. Before they can comment on the blush on his face, he gets down to business. Kyle opens his laptop and looks up at them, he begins to ask Farmer about themselves, wanting an insight on their medical history.

"Sorry, you didn't come here to listen to me complain. It's just easy to talk to you. A-anyway, before I keep making an ass of myself, lets get started on filling out your medical history!"

Heart Event @ 6:

Farmer is walking from town to the mountains, they can hear faint shouting. Walking closer, they see Kyle and Ike standing next to the mountain lake away from Kenny's house. Ike is sitting on the wooden bridge with his face in his hands, looking more and more upset. When Farmer gets close enough to hear what they're saying clearly, they overhear what the argument is about. Kyle is upset that Ike's grades are slipping, telling him that he needs to put in a little more effort in school. Apparently, he's been blowing off his homework and Heidi is having a hard time getting him to pay attention in class. Ike complains that all Kyle ever talks to him about is how he's doing in school and his stupid job, that he doesn't care to ask Ike about anything else. He asks him when was the last time they did anything fun that didn't require the Farmer having to all but pull him away from work. Ike cuts Kyle off before he can rebuttal. Shouting something about how he's acting just like their mother and he's supposed to be his brother, not his parent! Kyle gets upset and snaps back at him, telling him that he won't apologize for caring about Ike's well being and he wouldn't have to act like their mother if Ike just grew up a little. This makes Ike tear up, he stands up and shouts that he should just go back to the city then. Kyle stands there watching his brother storm off, leaving him alone next to the lake, he looks destroyed. Farmer walks out from where they were hiding, and when Kyle doesn't get upset that Farmer was listening in they know he's really torn up. It takes him some time but he eventually address them, telling them that he never meant to fill the role of a parent. He knows he's hard on Ike, he just wants to see his little brother grow into the best version of himself. The Valley is good to him, better then the city was. He knows it's good for Ike too.

"Am I being that overbearing? I mean...I'm in charge of him. I promised Ma that I'd look after him! I'm not asking for much right? Just for him to apply himself more!"

>> Maybe you're not as right as you think you are. (-) >> Does he know that? Have you told him how you feel? (+) >> I don't think you're really listening to your brother. (+) >> Lighten up Kyle, he's just throwing a tantrum. He'll get over it. (-) If First Option: Kyle looks up with a flash of anger in his eyes, he can't believe what he's hearing. How could Farmer say something like that? He thought they were friends! As Kyle storms off he glares at them.

"Jesus Christ, if you talk to your friends like this then I'd hate to hear how you talk to people you hate!"

If Second Option: Kyle thinks on both Farmer and Ike's words. Like he's replaying the whole thing in his head again. When was the last time he talked to Ike about how he feels? About anything that wasn't him being a hard ass.

"No...I guess I haven't. Ugh I'm an asshole, he deserves to be a kid. I really do sound like our mom. Thanks for listening again Farmer."

If Third Option: Kyle's brows furrow, he wants to be upset but Farmer's right. He makes his frustration known and somehow in the same breath is grateful that Farmer said it. He tells Farmer that this isn't the first time their stubborn attitudes have clashed. Something they both get from their Mother.

"I think if you were anyone else I would be furious but...you're right. It does make me feel a little better to know I'm not the only one who's stubborn. I'll apologize to him in the morning. Goodnight and thank you Farmer."

If Fourth Option: Kyle snaps as that comment strikes a nerve. He goes to yell again but he just stops, closes his eyes, and takes a deep breath. When he opens his eyes he looks past them and wishes them a good night. Leaving them alone because just the thought of responding to that is exhausting.

Heart Event @ 8:

It's late, later than Farmer realized. As they go to leave the mines, a group of Shadow beasts corner them. It cuts to them limping out of the mines. Beaten down and exhausted, they collapse against the side of the mountain. The last thing they see is Kyle running over to them and the dim light of a flashlight. When they wake up again, they're laying in one of the beds of Kyle's clinic. Their wounds are bandaged and cleaned. Looking over in a daze, Kyle's eyes meet theirs and there's a look of relief. He closes the first aid kid sitting next to them, picks up the medical tools and puts them away. Farmer can hear him breathing deeply, like this is the first time he's able to. Eventually he breaks the silence, speaking as softly as he can. He scolds them for being reckless, and that they're lucky that Ned was nearby to hear that fight. Kyle stops in the middle of his lecture, catching himself doing it again. Lectures are the last thing Farmer needs right now, they need sleep. Farmer just smiles and shakes their head at him and it almost makes Kyle laugh. He can't believe the energy they have, how they're even awake right now. He promises to keep them company, that he'll be right here for them when they wake up. Time passes again as Farmer drifts back to sleep, when they wake up again they see Kyle asleep in the chair next to them.

"Do you have any idea how worried I was?! Seeing you bleeding out in the dirt like that! I know you can be more responsible then that, what were you-.... no I'm doing it again. I'm sorry. Look just get some sleep, you need to rest." - "What? I'm not going anywhere, someone has to look over you and make sure you actually get rest. I swear I'll turn my back and you'll try and get out of that bed."

When given the bouquet:

"!! Y-You're not fucking with me right? This isn't just some cruel prank? ...Then of course I will- be your partner that is!"

Heart Event @ 10:

Farmer walks outside of their house to Kyle sitting on their porch. A picnic basket sitting next to him, a bottle of wine sticking out of the basket, and a red-checkered blanket tucked neatly inside. When he hears the doo open he perks up and stands up quickly. With a grin on his face, he greets them with an energetic good morning. He holds up the basket telling them that he wants to take them out. The day is beautiful and he intends to spend as much of it with them. Farmer agrees, leaving the farm going south past Tegridy Farms. Kyle takes them near the cliffs overlooking the ocean. The two sit there enjoying the picnic that Kyle's put together. When he sees how happy Farmer is with the food, he goes on to tell them that he learned how to cook from his Mother. The conversation leads him to ramble about how he was the only one who could cook in the friend group for a while. That Stan used to beg him to make dinner so he didn't have to eat with his family. Farmer continues to just look happy with everything. Good food and getting to listen to him talk about his best friend, watching as he lights up! Then they feel a rain drop hit their forehead. Looking up, the two se as the sky starts to darken and rain clouds begin to roll in. Immediately Kyle throws his jacket over the Farmer and urgently moves them towards the trees. As the rain starts to come down harder, Kyle looks so disappointed. Farmer takes their hand giving it a little squeeze, breaking down that wall of anxiety. He lets out a sigh, expressing his frustration. He tells them that he wanted today to be perfect, now it's ruined because of the rain. Farmer laughs and pulls them down, planting a kiss on their cheek. Kyle's face turns red from the sweet action. He goes to kiss them back, to return the kiss, but as he does water drops down from the top of the trees. They're both soaked now, water clinging to their clothes. Kyle looks down and just laughs. He wraps an arm around them and pulls them in for a kiss. Pulling away, he brushes his fingers across their face and whispers.

"You always find a way to make things better. I don't feel like I have to be perfect all the time, that it's okay to mess up because I know you'll still love me. My worries just seem to melt away. I love you so much."

Heart Event @ 14:

Ever since Kyle moved in he's slowed down, taking better care of himself. No longer piling too much on his plate, so it surprises the Farmer to se him falling back into old habits. Kyle is pacing around the house in a huff. Ike tells the Farmer that their parents called and that they're making a surprise visit soon. Kyle stops his frantic cleaning for just a moment to stress how much he hates this. He's worried that they're going to be mad because he didn't invite them to the wedding, even when they already reassured him that they're not. Farmer questions why they're coming, which Kyle just sighs and tells them that they want to meet his partner. Farmer reassures Kyle that everything will be fine, that they can't wait to meet his parents. He just grumbles and tells them to hold off on that excitement. Once again Farmer calms the man down, Kyle takes a deep breath and watches his beloved partner get to work. Between the two of them and Ike, they're able to get everything together. Just as dinner is finished, Kyle's parents arrive. Kyle introduces the Farmer to his parents who immediately start gushing over them. The dinner table is set and soon the entire family is sitting around the, making small talk. Sheila starts asking Farmer a list of questions, trying to get to know them. Why did they become a Farmer? What drew them to the Valley? >> Honestly? I needed to start over. Grandpa gave me a second chance and I guess I just fell in love with this little town. >> The city life was too loud. I needed something quiet and easy. >> The Valley needed help! I couldn't just ignore it! If First Option: Sheila smiles and puts her hand on her chest. She tells the Farmer that it's incredibly sweet of their grandfather to look after them. She thinks it's great that they love the town that Kyle grew up in! If Second Option: Sheila doesn't agree that the city is that bad, but she goes on to tell the Farmer she grew up a city girl. She does agree that city life can sweep you away if you're not careful, she's glad the Farmer taught Kyle to slow down. If Third Option: Sheila isn't quite sure she understands what Farmer is trying to get at, but if it's what drives them then who is she to argue? She's just happy that Ike's grades have improved and that Kyle is happy. Either way dinner is lively, once they're finished they thank the Farmer for everything. For taking care of their sons and welcoming them into their lovely home. Sheila admits that she was skeptical at first but after seeing how Kyle looks at the Farmer, she's wholeheartedly approves of their marriage. They leave with a quick hug, letting Kyle know that they'll be staying at the tavern for a few days before going home. As they make the trip back to town, Kyle wraps his arm around the Farmer and smiles softly.

"They really like you, not that I had any doubts they wouldn't. You're amazing. I always knew you were, ever since you moved to this town. I'm just glad they love you almost as much as I do."

Random Marriage Quotes!!

"Good morning my love. Yeah... that still feels weird to say but...I kind of like it. Waking up next to you is everything." "Please make sure you're being careful when you go out. I'm not going to stop you, just come home to me. Please." "Look I love you, but please if you have to go to the mines...shower before you come to bed. Shower with you? That-...isn't a bad idea." "Read up on how to take care of crops on my lunch break! I hope you don't mind that I already watered the plants for you!" "Ike really likes all the animals, he actually woke up before to feed them all!" "Do...do you think my hair is stupid? Cartman said something about it today and I know I shouldn't put merit in what he says but...You like my hair? And my nose? But I didn't- God you're too good to me." "I always had this fear of getting married, I was afraid that I'd end up like my parents. They're not bad just...never mind. Just thank you for being my partner." "Hey, take this medicine with you. If you get into trouble it will help. I don't care if it tastes bad! I don't want to find you passed out again!" "I'm taking Ike over to Kenny's today, he wants to hang out with Karen. Feel free to swing by when you're done doing what you need to do! The guys would love to see you." "You know I love you right? And I'll tell you it as many times as you need. You make it so easy to love you that I'm worried I'm not enough."

Tag List: @hunnysnoops

#south park #sp fanfiction #south park fanfiction #reader insert #south park x reader #x reader #kyle brovlofski #kyle broflovski x reader #Kyle Broflovski x Farmer #Stardew Valley #Star Park AU #headcanons #drabbles #shhh its a secret

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gloomingstar · 29 days

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Day 22...🩷😈+😇

"Dip♡"

Damien thorn+Phillip Pirrup ;3

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cocoaconicoco · 12 days

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King elf Kyle and prince Ike

Kyle really hates his little brother's habit of climbing trees because it's something Marshwalker used to do when they were kids.

#ao3 fanfic #kyle broflovski #king elf kyle #ike broflovski #stick of truth #snow day #sp au #kyle south park #villain stan #stan x kyle #south park #style #sp kyle #sp art #sp fanart #sp fanfiction

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lozislaw · 8 months

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CHAPTER 11 HERE

We're back! 15k words, new art, same ol' faces, welcome welcome!

Synopsis:

The world changes, then changes again when the four boys divorce from each other's lives. Thinking optimistically, at least Kyle no longer had to hang out with Cartman. But he would sacrifice his sanity and dive headfirst into the old days if it meant getting one more day with Stan. He would never let himself admit that in the light of day. But sometimes it seems the only way to get there is procrastinating life, getting in drunken fights, yelling at therapy trees and fisting (in a totally not gay way).

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lets-all-calm-down-a-bit · 4 months

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psst... hey

Hey you. Yeah, you. You should totally read my fic... Hell yeah, sure it has both Bunny and Style. And what's that? Oh yeah, it also has Eric Cartman playing an integral role in the plot and being actual friends with the main four? Yeah, and tfbw alter egos. I know right. Cool as shit. You should totally check it out...

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ashartstuff · 3 months

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Creek Fanfic Recs!!! (Part 1)

#is it obvious that I like oneshots?#also sorry if some of these are very out of place #I usually read fluff but sometimes I need my angst itch to be scratched #south park #sp #rambles #creek #sp creek #craig tucker #tweek tweak #tweek x craig #sp fanfiction #this is so cringe but I’m free

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angel-gone-south · 5 months

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I want anything with vampire kyle please 😋😋😋😋😋🥺🥺🥺🥺I give you freedom king

-🖌 anon

Vampire!Kyle x Reader

what a yummy fucking thought

°•. ☾ .•°

Oh fuck if you thought Butters was grabby think again.

Kyle is possessive. Nobody else is allowed to drink from you. His.

He would much prefer you to eat kosher, but he’ll take what he can get in South Park…

It really depends on you but I think he would be absolutely coddling. Treating you and pampering you and everything.

He needs you so he tries desperately to make you need him the same way.

Introducing you to his mom ASAP. She’d love you, just for making her “boubie” happy.

Always tutoring you. But whenever he does he needs to have hands on you. Like I said. Grabby.

Definitely not whiny like Butters but that doesn’t make him quiet either.

Probably grunts and tells you how good you taste every. damn. time.

Pulls you into dark corners sometimes to steal kisses, because he loves you.

Although he will nick your lips with his fangs on purpose so he can spend some extra time sucking face with you……

Kicks my feet. Yeah.

#➳ Return to Sender!♡#south park #south park fanfiction #south park x y/n #south park x reader #south park x you #sp x reader #south park kyle #kyle broflovski x y/n #sp kyle broflovski #kyle broflovski #kyle broflovski x reader #kyle broflovski x you #sp x you #sp fanfiction #vamp kyle #➳ Sticky Notes!♡

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spgothkidsheadcanons · 1 year

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Can I have headcanons for the goths when their s/o affectionately slaps their butt to get a reaction out of them?

Hi hi hi yes yes of course you can here you go enjoy your dinner

WARNINGS: very very slight NSFW if you squint your eyes and turn your head a little to the left

~~~~~~

Henrietta:

- The best way to catch Henrietta off guard is to smack her butt when she’s walking by

- It’s a very dangerous game to play, but you, her S/O, like to play with fire

- It’s not an often occurence because the first time you did it, you had to stand there, looking at the floor and twiddling your thumbs as she got onto you

- But the second time you did it, she tried (and failed) to stop a smile from stretching over her face

- And today was the perfect opportunity for the third time

- You were both off, and Henrietta was in the kitchen, trying to make some kind of lunch because you had woken up late and were starving

- Walking into the kitchen to get some water, you saw Henrietta with both hands in the sink, washing some dishes

- And looking a little bit more south, you just couldn’t help the idea that crossed your head

- Walking to the fridge innocently, you grabbed a bottle of water

- Making it a point to step quietly, you pretended to leave the kitchen, but instead angled yourself right behind her, arm cocked back and ready

- *SMACK*

- The woman at the sink stiffened, the dish slipping from her hand as she jolted forward a bit

- You began to cackle maniacally, spewing apologies between fits of laughter

- You were quick to shut up when she slowly turned her head, her eyes catching yours, her lips curled into a frown

- You watched as she removed her hands from the sink, drying them on a dish towel before she grabbed your shirt and dragged you to the bedroom

- Her revenge left your own butt sore, but you didn’t regret it at all

Pete:

- He’s not much into displays of affection, it’s how he’s always been

- He’s sweet, caring, and sometimes, a little too naive for his own good

- It’s very easy for you to tell him to do something just so he’ll bend over and give you easy access to smack his butt

- It’s funny to you to watch him shoot up, both hands moving to cover his behind and his cheeks fired up

- He’s not really into doing it back as revenge, but if you catch him drunk, high or horny, then it’s like opening the gates of Hell

- It just so happened to be the morning after you guys decided to get drunk

- You were hungover and possibly still a little tipsy, but Pete was chugging a cup of coffee he had brewed while you were waking up

- He had already began working on some painting, paint already swiped over his arms, face and pants

- You grumbled at the idea of having to try and get the paint out of his clothes

- Getting out of bed, you waited until Pete moved the brush away from the canvas before hugging his back, pressing your face against his “Smock” (which was just an old t-shirt that he wore to paint in)

- He mumbled a good morning, placing his free hand over your arms and giving a gentle squeeze, before continuing his work

- You stood like this for a moment, feeling his muscles against your cheek as he moved his paintbrush all over the canvas

- Gently, you pulled away, but stayed standing behind him

- When he set his brush down and bent over to grab more paint, you couldn’t help but lay a decent slap against his bottom, eliciting a sharp gasp from the man

- He turned, his eyes wide and cheeks flushing redder than a tomato

- You laughed, apologizing and wrapping your arms around his neck, giggling at his feigned annoyance

- Pressing a kiss to his cheek, you left the room, headed to the kitchen to make him another cup of coffee as an apology

Michael:

- It’s a full on brawl when it comes to Michael

- To be honest, he started the whole “Butt Smacking War” when you two had first got together

- It used to be simple pats on the bottom as he walked behind you, or you behind him

- But when the slaps got harder with each revenge smack, it turned into hell for you

- You may slap hard, but he slaps HARDER

- You had kind of eased up on smacking his butt, but couldn’t fight the urge much more

- Not when he was leaning over the kitchen counter, scrolling through some recipes on his phone as he tried to decide what to do for dinner

- Of course, knowing Michael’s game, you opted out of the smack you wanted to give him for a simple pat, more so to announce your presence than to bother him

- You gave him a smile when he looked to you, his face uninterested in the game

- Turning to the cabinet, you began to reach for a glass to grab some water

- And turning your back to the tall goth was a mistake you made that day

- The sting got you before you even realized your butt had been smacked, and you jerked forward, the force taking you out of balance

- “Oouu, that one was a little too hard”

- That mother fucker just snickered after he made the comment, turning back to his phone

- “I didn’t even hit you that hard” you whined, fake shock on your face

- Cue more laughter and kisses all over your face to make up for it

#sp goth kids #south park goth kids #south park michael #south park headcanons #sp fanfiction #sp michael #south park pete #sp michael x reader #sp pete #sp henrietta #sp headcanons #south park fanfiction #south park michael x reader #sp henrietta x reader #south park henrietta #south park henrietta x reader #south park pete x reader #sp pete x reader #goth kids x reader

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julysn · 3 months

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nothing looks the same in the light | a julysn xclusive.

ship: kyle broflovski x reader.

character(s): kyle broflovski, reader, ike broflovski (comes in around the end)

tags: fluff, hurt/comfort, eventual romance, aged-up characters, high school, enemies to lovers, secret crushes, love confessions, mild gore, somewhat ooc kyle, also ike is being a little shit hes 13.

warnings: rated T for cursing and mild gore.

summary: you get mugged and beaten up, left alone in a dark alleyway. you get lost in thought when suddenly, your crush worst enemy appears to rescue you.

other notes: gn reader, kinda corny.

word count: ≈3300

spotify playlist: here

a/n: crossposted from ao3

also pls give me suggestions.. first fic on tumblr HIIII is this aesthetically appealing would y’all read.. anyways i wrote this on impulse so it might be kinda bad?? but i had an idea and i tried..

kyle isn’t perfectly in character (i think). everything’s more fun when its slightly ooc imo !

posted while i’m at school… kinda rushed

You had just gotten into one of the bloodiest, most gruesome fights of your life

You were walking home from school, wanting to just go home and sit in your bed and use your phone until your parents reminded you of your homework. You had just wanted to stare at the wall, trying to fall asleep early, so you wouldn’t wake up late tomorrow.

But those plans —could they even be considered plans?— were interrupted when you were suddenly whisked away into the dark, beaten and mugged. Your backpack and phone were stolen; hell, even your dignity and pride had been snatched too.

Should I be embarrassed or annoyed?

You glanced down at your body, staring down at each and every injury that blanketed your figure. Bruises littered your usually clean and well-kept body, and blood dripped down from your nose and onto your weak hands as you sat against the brick wall of the empty alleyway.

Your breathing was ragged and heavy, as tears spilled down from your eyes to your cheeks. Your teeth were clenched, the pain swarming your fragile figure. I shouldn't have gone this way when I was walking home from school, you mused. Bad decision. Maybe bad is an understatement.

You were sitting all alone, bloodied and bruised, with potentially no one around to help except for your thoughts to offer mental support. Of course, this had to happen to you.

You were unlucky. Very unlucky. Maybe even the unluckiest person in all of Colorado.

Your luck has always been horrible since.. what, forever? You were always the first one out in dodgeball—always going out in the most embarrassing ways. Like the time Eric Cartman hit you in the face and as you were walking to sit down on the bleachers, you tripped on your shoelace and fell face-first. You earned two new bruises that day.

Your unlucky streak didn't end there, though. You always found ways to trip or fall over nothing. There was that one time you were in the cafeteria and you stood up to walk over and get a napkin, but you tripped over the air in front of your foot. You fell face-first into the floor, your shoe flying off your foot and into the air. You swore it did a backflip as it landed on the floor, and your friends burst out laughing... Needless to say, the memory still haunts you to this day.

There were countless stories that your family, friends, or even classmates could recite of you and your horrible luck embarrassing you in different ways. Woeful, isn't it?

You were sinking deeper and deeper into your thoughts until you heard some voices outside of the alleyway. Your head perked up, attempting to decipher the identities behind the ones who were speaking. However, they weren't being too loud, and you still couldn't figure out if you knew them or not.

Who's over there?

Luckily, you didn't have to force your weak body to stand up and walk over to answer that question. One of the ones in the group saw you in the alley and pushed away their friends to check on you.

Once your tired, sad eyes could finally process the sight before you, your jaw dropped to the core of the Earth. Figuratively, and hell, probably literally. Your jaw unhinged at who was standing in front of you, with a look of concern so surprising you almost pinched yourself to figure out if you were in a dream. Your eyes widened immensely. Your blinking went rapid. You were surprised (obviously).

"Kyle..?" You asked weakly, your soft and teary eyes looking up to see him. He was usually annoyed when you were around, so why did he look... genuinely concerned? I’ve never seen him this worried about anything. Do I mean something, or am I just overthinking it?

“Y/N? God, what the hell happened to you?” Kyle exclaimed, his eyes widened and eyebrows furrowed as he tentatively reached out to see your bruises. You reluctantly shuffled a bit, positioning yourself for him to see the majority of the injuries you had sustained. One of his hands reached out to gently brush away your tears, and you felt your heart pound in your chest at the intimate contact.

“I got mugged.” You sighed, pressing your lips together to form a straight line as your eyes darted away from his, not wanting to see the look of worry etched onto his features. His lips curled into a frown as he heard your words, feeling sorry for you. “Besides, why do you care? Do I look like a damsel in distress?”

”Yes.”

You rolled your eyes in annoyance, clenching your teeth in irritation and pain as he examined your wounds. You had some cuts on your arms and neck, but mostly just purple and blue bruises were scattered across your figure.

This was a very unusual scenario—you were practically being rescued by your worst enemy. The two of you have hated each other since elementary school... maybe even preschool. And yet, in a time of desperation and need, he was the one to offer you care and comfort.

It makes sense why he’s being nice to me, I guess. If I saw my worst enemy like this, I’d take care of them too unless my worst enemy was Eric Cartman. I’d leave him there.

However, while one part of you was completely caught off guard by his sudden kindness and care, another side felt giddy and excited. Why? Because you had slowly begun to develop feelings for him over the past year and a half.

It sounded cliche, but Kyle was just irresistible. In your eyes, he was so gorgeous and kind (usually not to you). You liked him for not just his looks or personality but for his intelligence and talents.

Everything about him was perfect in your eyes. Everything, You admired each and every little feature that he had. The tiny, almost unnoticeable stitches around his mouth, his stunning emerald eyes, and those soft red curls that usually hid underneath his hat... you especially loved his hair.

One day, Kyle had shown up to school without his ushanka, and he looked so good. You swore the clouds parted just for the sun to admire his beauty, and that it was less cold—like he was an angel who had blessed the entirety of South Park.

That day was probably the best day of your life—the rivalry between the two of you wasn’t as strong or as harsh, school was quite easy that day (or maybe you were actually paying attention in class.), and things just felt... better. It sounds stupid, but that was the effect he had on you.

God, he’s gorgeous. And his personality? Even better-

”C’mon.” Kyle sighed gently, popping your thought bubble. He stood back up, seemingly having finished examining your wounds, He held out his hand for you to take, and your eyebrows furrowed in confusion as you blinked for a couple of seconds, bewildered. What are his motives?

“Wait, where are you taking me?” You asked, staring at his open hand in suspicion. Kyle sighed and shoved his other hand into his pocket, his hand still stretched out towards you.

”My house, I guess. I need to bandage your wounds, and I don’t have a first aid kit on me.” He shrugged, pulling his hand away from you and placing it into his pocket. You contemplated the offer, thinking about the possibilities.

What if something happens while he’s taking care of me? Maybe he’ll kiss my bruises to soothe them... or maybe he’ll kiss me. I bet this is gonna be so damn romantic.

”Yeah, sure. I need it, anyways...” You weakly chuckled, letting out an awkward laugh as Kyle did the same. He held out a hand for you to grab onto, and you winced as you held his hand as he helped you to your feet.

The two of you walked down the street, your weak figure leaning against his as his warm, calloused hand lay on your waist. His presence was immensely comforting, and you found solace in the fact that he was being nice to you for a bit. Even if his kindness was temporary, it was heartwarming.

The walk was quite peaceful, steps slow and quiet as Kyle held you against him so you wouldn’t fall or trip. You winced as you felt his hand brush against one of your clothed bruises, and he immediately noticed your discomfort and moved his hand downwards so as not to hurt you further.

It was a partly cloudy afternoon in South Park, the chilly Colorado winds brushing against your (now bruised) cheeks like usual. The silence between you and Kyle was pretty soothing, as the two of you could sink deeper into your thoughts without it being awkward or uncomfortable.

Finally, after what felt like an hour of walking (but was only a few minutes), the two of you reached his house. His house was painted dark green with a detached garage, and the front door was painted coffee brown. You sighed, as he took you inside and led you to the kitchen.

”So, uh..” Kyle began, as he turned to glance at you while his hands rummaged through the medicine cabinet. He pulled out some bandages, before stepping over to you. He hopped onto the countertop beside you and leaned downward as his hands carefully wiped off the blood from a slit you had received on your arm. “How the hell did you get mugged?”

”I. I dunno.” You grimaced weakly, blinking back tears of pain as he wiped away the blood on all of the cuts you had. Kyle noticed this and he brushed away the tears with his fingertips, and you felt yourself melt underneath his sweet actions. His touch was delicate. Caring. He was being so kind, and your heart fluttered inside your chest. “But, uh. I’m fine, you don't have to—“

“Y/N, you’re not fine.” Kyle sighed, balling up the tissues smeared with blood and tossing them into a trashcan. He gazed into your eyes with a soft, caring look. The two of you held eye contact for a few seconds before he snapped out of it and picked up some Neosporin. You yawned and watched as he gently rubbed the cream into the bruises and around some of the cuts, as gently as ever. "Just let me bandage you, alright?"

You felt yourself falling deeper and deeper in love with him at his tender, attentive behavior. He was perfect. Astronomically attractive. Everything someone would want in a man. No words in the English dictionary could describe the amount of love you had stored in your heart for him.

Kyle Broflovski was the man of your dreams.

As the two of you sat there, your mind was flooded with a hurricane of thoughts. Did he like you back? Was he just being nice or is this his way of spending time with you? Are you overthinking it? Why was he being so nice to you? Did he have ulterior motives?

You had to ask.

“.. Why are you being so sweet to me?” You asked quietly, voice bashful and sheepish as you looked up from your lap to face him. Kyle was working diligently to wrap bandages around the cuts, and god he looked good. His narrowed eyes as he focused, his parted lips... You shook your head gently to distract yourself from these very thoughts.

"I feel bad," Kyle admits, looking up at you as he leaned back and took a deep breath. Pearls of sweat dripped down from his forehead, and he slipped off his jacket and ruffled his hair as he looked over your arm to see if he missed any cuts he needed to bandage. He yawned and ruffled his hair, and you couldn't help but admire the way his hand ran through those gorgeous curls of his. He's perfect. But he isn't mine.

He was the one guy you wanted so badly, yet you thought he was out of reach. Whenever Wendy and Bebe would drag you to basketball games because they wanted to see their boyfriends and not go alone, you couldn't help but sneak glances at your crush enemy.

The way Kyle would practically destroy the court with skill was the most attractive thing you've ever seen.

Unfortunately, 1/3 of the attendees from other schools would agree with you. You had seen many people, both girls, and guys, eyeing him with interest in their eyes. He had many admirers, mostly from other schools—you were probably the only one in the school who found him attractive, unless he had secret admirers... Of course, you always felt a rush of jealousy fill your veins whenever you saw someone try to gain his interest, but luckily, he was only focused on winning the games.

Everyone was aware that he had many "fangirls and fanboys" at other schools, as many even joked about it. Lighthearted, amusing stories of his “simps” were passed around during lunch for people to have a soft laugh about.

But, his worst admirer had to be you. You were down horrendous. The quick, sneaky glances towards him during class. How you would go home and sit on your bed, laying on your stomach, index finger twirling your hair while your other hand held your phone as you scrolled through his Instagram, blushing and giggling.

And not to mention the occasional unholy dreams that had overcome your thoughts for the rest of the day due to their vivid and exciting nature...

You were down enormously.

Your train of thought came to a halt as you felt the bandage meeting your other arm. Kyle had finished working on your right arm, and he had moved to sit on your left arm. The feeling of the fabric hitting your skin once more brought you back to reality, and the awkward silence was… well, awkward as hell.

And so, the two of you continued to sit in silence as Kyle worked delicately on the injuries you had sustained. The quiet atmosphere was beginning to feel comforting, instead of awkward. Your ears filled with the quiet sound of the both of you breathing, and it was a beautiful moment.

That was, until a black-haired freckled kid who looked to be around 12-13 years old walked in. His jaw immediately dropped at the sight of you two on the counter, in a bit of an intimate position as both your faces were just inches apart. It almost looked like the two of you were a couple, with the way you were so close.

”Holy shit!” The freckled kid shrieked, his jaw practically at the core of the Earth as he processed the sight before him. He blinked rapidly, trying to make sure this was real and not just a hallucination or anything. “Kyle, you and Y/N finally fucked?!”

“Finally?” You raise an eyebrow, your suspicions close to being confirmed. Finally... does finally mean that— No, I need to interrogate this kid. “How do you even know my name?”

“Kyle talks about you all the time,” The young teen smirked teasingly, though it was evident that he was still in shock. He slowly approached the two of you, a hilariously wicked smile on his face as he crossed his arms. Meanwhile, Kyle’s cheeks faded into a bright tint of red that rivaled his hair.

“No, I don’t—“

Kyle’s protests were cut off as the kid interjected, giggling furiously. It was evident that Kyle was trying to deny it, but his flushed cheeks and death stare toward the freckled kid made it a bit obvious that what he was saying was true. "My brother has the biggest crush on you. He shows me your Instagram posts all the time—"

Your jaw dropped. Your eyes widened. Your breath caught in your throat. So, according to this random little kid, the love of your life liked you back.

"Ike, get out," Kyle growled, finally putting a name to the face before you. Ike simply let out a mischievous giggle as he shot the both of you a wink, turning around and leaving the kitchen. for the both of you. You sighed, completely dumbfounded by what had just occurred.

"Was what he said true?" You asked quietly, blinking rapidly. Your heart pounded in your chest, your stomach filled with butterflies. This was probably the best day of your life, had it not been for the fact that you were mugged.

”… Yeah.” Kyle admitted, his cheeks bright red and lips pressed together to form a straight line, feeling quite awkward now that the truth was out. "I've had a crush on you for about, uh.. 9 months now."

You thought you were about to explode. You felt a tsunami of emotions wash over you, as you felt so giddy yet shocked. Your heart was beating real fast, and you could swear it skipped some beats too. Butterflies flooded your stomach, and you could barely identify your true feelings about all of this. The news had practically flipped your world upside down, leaving you completely breathless and disoriented.

"Am I dreaming? Kyle, pinch me. Do something so I know I’m awake." You pondered aloud, feeling the last bandage being applied to your cuts as Kyle finally pulled away, avoiding your gaze with embarrassment in his emerald eyes. He was unsure if you liked him back—after all, the two of you were known to be worst enemies. Silently, he was begging, pleading, praying that you reciprocated.

Instead of pinching you, however, Kyle decided to do a little more than that. He gently picked up your hands, slipping his palm into yours as your fingers intertwined, and took a deep breath as he leaned in. Your breath caught in your throat as you realized what was happening, and you decided to lean in too.

The two of you shared a soft, short kiss, one full of affection and tenderness. The kiss was quick yet passionate, and you felt yourself longing for more as he finally pulled away.

I really hope this isn't a dream.

You needed more of Kyle's sweet, delicate lips, so, you quickly leaned in and gave him a gentle peck on the lips. He smiled into the kiss, squeezing your hands as you both sat on the counter, staring at each other in silence. The absence of words made the tranquil moment more divine, and you wanted this to last forever.

“… So, are we dating now, or..?” Kyle asked shyly, his tone slightly awkward but still warmhearted and soothing. You giggled at how he said it, but another part of you was literally about to start screaming and jumping up and down in excitement.

“Yeah,” You nodded, and in turn, he wrapped his arms around your neck and pulled you into a tight embrace. You buried your face into his neck, savoring the moment while it lasted.

You hugged him tightly, wanting nothing more than to just stay in his arms forever. You wished time could stop so you could live in this moment for eternity. His arms felt so comforting around yours, as his fingers gently brushed against your bandages.

You felt Kyle’s lips brush against your temple, and your heart fluttered in happiness. This was it. We’re finally together now.

“Are you two— Woah.” Ike interrupted as he walked back into the kitchen, hands in his pockets as he processed what he was seeing. “Ew! Get a room, you two!”

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shhh-secret-time · 1 month

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"Am I worth all this? Rosy, tender, with such a sticky future - but isn't that what life is? I just hope someone likes the taste of my mess."

Pomegranates and Honey

A huge thank you to @emilyartstudio-s for bringing my idea to life! Fantastic, phenomenal, beautiful work as always! They were an actual delight to work with and I'm so very excited to have something so well done to put towards my fic!

#south park #sp fanfiction #south park fanfiction #pomegranates and honey #Jean Wellman #South Park OC #character art #artists on tumblr #shhh its a secret

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gloomingstar · 22 days

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Day 27...

Pocket herbert redesigned?

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cocoaconicoco · 4 days

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Princess Kenny and king elf Kyle ♡

She is trying to give him a kiss on the forehead hehe. I really like the two of them together but in a platonic way.

#south park #king elf kyle #kyle broflovski #ao3 fanfic #stick of truth #princess kenny #sp k2 #south park k2 #kenny #kyle #k2 #sp fanart #sp fanfiction #sp art #south park art #south park fanart

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alister312 · 11 months

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Summary:

Craig's mad at Tweek and Kyle's mad at Stan. Spending Friday night moping around the school is pretty lame though, so Craig decides they should do something to rile their exes up.

this is an attack for @iksvolforb for the @spinthetags south park olympics! art is by @danilazuli and not included within the attack.

Read now on ao3 or below the cut!

It wasn’t uncommon for Craig and Tweek to be “on the outs” every other week. Usually it started with a small fight that they both pushed down, resolving to talk about it later like mature people, only to forget to do that between the pressures of school and (in Tweek’s case) work. This built and built until it burst and one of them couldn’t handle it anymore and they broke up. They never meant to; they were just teenagers. Not everyone could achieve the same emotional maturity Wendy and Tolkien seemingly effortlessly did.

This particular break up was really bugging Craig though because normally when they broke up, they got back within the month. The problem this time was that neither of them would admit that they were wrong. Craig thought it was pretty clear that Tweek should apologize for forgetting their goddamn anniversary, but Tweek was adamant that Craig should understand by now that he has a job with hours he can never predict because his dad fucking sucks. Tweek’s dad did suck, but it was their anniversary. That had to take priority (the work-skipping kind).

It didn’t, apparently, so the next month rolled around and Craig found himself still single. What was worse, Tweek wouldn’t even talk to him. Craig never liked to think of himself as the kind of guy who had to be in a relationship to function, but he was coming to realize that he couldn’t remember being out of one for this long before. Much of his life outside of school had happened around Tweek, or around where he worked.

His life wasn’t all Tweek of course; there was Clyde. Clyde had started spending more time with Jimmy these days though and they had some long standing Friday night tradition checking out whatever local live show they could find in Denver. It was their thing, like how Craig’s used to be hanging out at Tweak Bros. with Kenny, waiting for Tweek. Kenny was more of a friend of a friend though, or friend of an ex now, so Craig was left with no one tonight.

Devoid of literally anything else to do and not wanting to just go home, Craig decided to wander the school. Aside from completely barren hallways, it wasn’t so different from normal school hours. Teachers sat in their classrooms hunched over papers, grading until they couldn’t take it anymore. A few students stuck around in odd nooks and crannies, mostly those who couldn’t find peace and quiet anywhere else. The goths were out back, basically permanent fixtures.

Craig’s wanderings eventually took him to the gym. He could hear the squeak of sneakers on rubber, so he opened the door. Inside was Kyle, practicing layups alone. He looked over at Craig in the doorway.

“Oh, hey.”

“Hey,” Craig replied. He chewed his bottom lip, teetering on the possibility of sticking around. He and Kyle were on… fine terms with each other. Not friends, not unfriendly. Staying wouldn’t be weird, but it might be awkward. Watching him practice would guarantee Craig an excuse for at least another hour though, so he stepped inside and over to the bleachers.

“Um,” Kyle said. “Did you… want to join in or—”

“No.” Craig waved his hand dismissively. “You keep… tossing that ball or whatever. I’ll just be here.”

“Okay…” Kyle frowned, dragging out the word. He sighed and shook his head, rolling his shoulders and going back to his layups. Craig sat down next to Kyle’s gym bag and took out his phone, mindlessly scrolling between apps. Occasionally he looked up at Kyle. Craig really didn’t know or care much about sports so he couldn’t say what made Kyle good, but he was clearly skilled. It was hard to make team captain if you sucked.

Kyle kept glancing over at Craig from time to time, curious about him. Craig hoped to avoid talking about it but when they accidentally made eye contact, he knew he couldn’t. Kyle was at least nice enough to wait half a minute before clearing his throat.

“So,” he said, “any reason you’re here and not… anywhere else?” Craig shrugged, keeping his eyes locked on his phone. Kyle let out an exasperated sigh. “I mean like, shouldn’t you be spending Friday night with, I don’t know, Tweek or something?”

“Shouldn’t you be spending it with Stan or something?” Craig said, as nastily as he could in his usual monotone. The clumsy clang of the basketball on the rim (as opposed to the quiet swish of the net he’d gotten used to) made Craig look up again. Kyle’s brows were knit together and he wore a deep scowl.

“Yeah. Well,” Kyle grumbled. Craig raised an eyebrow. Apparently he and Tweek weren’t the only ones fighting.

His eyes shifted from Kyle down to his gym bag. It was decorated with the South Park Cows logo, some safety pins (probably Stan’s), and a rainbow ribbon tied to the main pocket’s zipper. Kyle had the proud title of the school’s first voluntarily out gay kid, so up-front, loud, and proud when he announced it. Craig had always secretly really appreciated him for it. Being the role model gay kid wasn’t something he was suited for. Kyle handled it much better.

“Hey.” Craig looked back over at Kyle, feeling the kind of stupidly impulsive that came from two months apart from your longtime boyfriend. “Do you wanna go out?” A resounding thud sounded from the backboard as Kyle missed again. He’d whipped his head to stare at Craig so fast his hair smacked him in his face. Kyle swore as he pushed it back, then frowned at Craig.

“What the hell did you just say?”

“Do you wanna go out,” Craig repeated. “You’re gay, I’m gay, both of us are mad at our exes—”

“I’m not mad at Stan,” Kyle said.

“You’re not fooling anyone, Broflovski.”

“Ok asshole, even if I was, why would that mean I’d go out with you?”

“To piss Stan off like he pissed you off,” Craig said. “Look, it doesn’t have to be a real date. We get out of here, go to Tweak Bros. so Tweek can see me with you and then you can post a picture of us so Stan will see you with me.”

“That’s a shit plan, Craig.”

“Ok, well, you have nothing better to do, so…” Craig shrugged. Kyle glared at him, but he also glared down at the floor, thinking. After a few moments of muttering, he threw his hands up in the air.

“Why not,” Kyle said. “You’re paying for my coffee and anything else though.” He crossed the gym floor and picked up his bag. “I gotta shower and change. I’ll meet you outside.” Though fearing for his wallet, Craig smiled a little as he watched Kyle leave. If nothing else, this had to at least get Tweek talking to him again.

***

Only fifteen minutes later, Craig found himself sitting in the passenger seat of Kyle’s car. That was another thing he’d always secretly appreciated about Kyle– his promptness. He also cleaned up nicely, his hair freshly spritzed with something that made it soft and got rid of any evidence of sweat. They both had on a similar outfit of pants, a shirt, and a jacket but Kyle’s pants were chinos (not jeans) and his jacket not as old as Craig’s. Even though it wasn’t a real date, Craig felt bad that he was underdressed in comparison. He took off his hat and combed his fingers through his hair on the ride over. A little more effort than he usually put in. It would do.

“Ah shit,” Kyle muttered when they pulled in. Craig followed his gaze to Kenny’s car parked nearby.

“You know he and Tweek are, like, super close, right?” Craig said.

“Yeah, I know,” Kyle sighed. “That doesn’t mean I knew he’d be here. If Kenny sees us together, he’s gonna bug me about it all weekend.”

“We can tell him to fuck off then,” Craig said, knowing full well that he’d probably also get Kenny hounding him about this “date” and equally not looking forward to it. “It’s none of his business.”

“I doubt he’ll listen but… we’ll see,” Kyle said, smiling tiredly. He turned the car off and got out with Craig following.

Tweak Bros. always smelled like home to Craig. Coffee was way too bitter in terms of taste but the smell was so comforting, like a sigh at the end of a long day. It wrapped around them, a warm and welcoming escape from the Colorado night as they stepped inside. Craig could smell that Tweek had recently taken out a fresh batch of scones too, cinnamon chip ones.

He was there behind the counter– Tweek. His head perked up at the chime of the bell as the door opened, an instinctive customer-service smile halfway on his face.

“Hi, I’ll be with you in a mo—” Tweek froze, realizing who they were. Craig did his best to appear completely unaffected, walking up to the cash register. Behind him, Kyle hesitated for a moment, but he joined Craig and stared at the menu hanging above them. He squinted at it, looking oddly confused.

“You good?” Craig asked. “You can read it, right?”

“Of course I can,” Kyle snapped at him, too quickly, which meant he couldn’t. The print was pretty small and Craig remembered then that Kyle needed glasses. He’d assumed that he never wore them because he opted for contacts instead, but maybe he just straight up never saw well. Craig took out his phone and pulled up the Google doc of the menu. Years ago, Tweek had entrusted it to him to help him study and memorize it.

“Here,” Craig said, giving it to Kyle.

“Oh,” Kyle said, surprised. “Thanks Craig.” He looked through it while Craig waited. He always got the same thing so he was ready, but Tweek was doing literally anything but coming to take their orders. There were only so many imaginary spots he could clean though and people started lining up behind Craig and Kyle, so he eventually gritted his teeth and walked over.

“Welcome to Tweak Bros., what can I get for you?” Tweek said in the most forced polite tone Craig had ever heard from him. It genuinely upset him a bit, but if he got upset then Tweek won, so he just blinked slowly instead.

“Small chai tea,” Craig said, then turned to Kyle. “Babe, what do you want?” The coffeeshop air was suddenly no longer warm, but thick with an icy intenseness as both Kyle and Tweek froze at that statement. Kyle’s finger hovered over the phone screen and Craig could see the gears turning in his head. He tensed, just slightly, bracing himself for just in case Kyle decided to slap him for his boldness. Thankfully, Tweek’s palpable rage kept him from also noticing any of this.

“Just one sec,” Kyle said, apparently deciding to roll with Craig. “Uh, I’ll have a latte. Hot, grande size, with oat milk instead of the regular dairy. Three pumps of vanilla syrup, plus an extra shot of espresso, and no foam. Oh, and one of those brownies in the case. No, two actually. And that, uh, turkey wrap thing. Warmed up.”

Kyle patted Craig’s arm and smiled, promising to find them a table as he walked away, but there was a bit of smugness to it. A satisfaction that he’d managed to craft the perfect frustrating and expensive order and left Craig to deal with the consequences of it all. And people thought Craig was an asshole.

“Jesus, what even is that order?” Tweek grumbled, scribbling away at a cup. “Does he know this isn’t– nngh– fucking Starbucks?”

“I’ve seen you make that kind of thing before though,” Craig said.

“Shut up,” Tweek said. “That’ll be $25 dollars and I’m not putting it on a tab.”

***

A few minutes later and $30 dollars poorer (he tipped, of course, even though Tweek told him that wouldn’t change anything), Craig made his way to the table where Kyle was doing his best to avoid eye contact with Kenny, who was standing over him. He turned his attention to Craig.

“Ok, Craig, what the hell?” Kenny said.

“What do you mean?” Craig sat down at the table.

“This,” Kenny gestured back and forth between Craig and Kyle. “What the hell is going on here? I know both of you are going through respective rough patches right now, but being petty isn’t going to fix that.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about. We’re just on a normal first date.”

“You’re a damn liar, Craig. I’m not stupid. I can’t believe you dragged another person into your problems. And Kyle, c’mon, you’re above this. You have to know this is a bad idea.”

“Oh fuck off, Kenny,” Kyle said, now glaring up at him. “Craig asked me out and I said yes because I wanted to go out with him. That’s all there is to it.” He reached across the table and defiantly took Craig’s hand, interlacing their fingers. Craig blushed. Sure he’d initiated the whole date idea and called Kyle “babe” but he hadn’t expected Kyle to so adamantly defend him. It was nice though.

Kyle’s fieriness was honestly pretty attractive. He sat up straighter and jutted his chin out a bit, his cheeks tinted pink with annoyance. He wasn’t jacked or anything, actually fairly slender, but he had some definite muscle tone and his eyes burned a deep green, challenging anyone to cross him. Honestly, Craig realized, Kyle reminded him a lot of Tweek. He was like if Tweek had a steadier head on his shoulders, which was one of the things Craig had often guiltily wished for.

Maybe, subconsciously, he’d known that and that was why he chose Kyle for this.

“Yeah,” Craig smiled. “Fuck off, Kenny.” He flipped off Kenny, who rolled his eyes and held his hands up, walking away. Kyle sighed.

“God,” he muttered, reaching for his drink and the food. “I love Kenny but I hate when he treats me like I don't know what I’m doing. I’m not a kid.”

“Maybe it’s because you ordered two brownies for dinner?” Craig asked.

“So?” Kyle scoffed. “I was working out when you saw me, remember? I’m hungry.”

“Yeah,” Craig said. “The brownies here kind of suck though. They’re dry.

“Ugh, now you tell me. I hate dry brownies.”

“Same.” Craig took a sip of his drink. “What else pisses you off?” Kyle seemed thrown by the question, but slowly he started opening up.

Neither of them were angry people exactly, but they did both have a lot of things that irked them. Craig usually didn’t bring it up because happy-go-lucky Clyde couldn’t sympathize and paranoid Tweek often thought Craig was secretly talking about him. It was a relief to not have to cage himself. Kvetching, Kyle called it. It was one of his favorite destressors. Even though Kyle’s kvetching lost its fieriness as the night went on, Craig thought the smiles he switched to were just as attractive.

Last call for orders seemed to come too soon, even if they had actually been there for hours. Besides Kenny and of course Tweek, only they and some guy typing away at his laptop were left.

“We should go,” Craig said.

“Don’t you want to stay til closing though?” Kyle frowned. “To talk to Tweek?”

“We’ll do that tomorrow,” Craig shrugged. “So we can head out after you have your picture.”

“Oh yeah,” Kyle murmured. “I forgot about that.” He took out his phone and scooted closer to Craig, leaning back and tilting his head so it was just shy of resting on Craig’s shoulder. The idea of it was there, though, that he might do that. Craig too gave the subtle hint of closeness without actually going for it, his face tilted just so that, any moment, he just might nuzzle Kyle’s hair. It was tempting.

In a second the photo was over and Kyle was no longer inches away. Craig watched him post it with the caption “Had a good time tonight 💙”. It was clear, but subtle. Craig liked it. As they exited, Kyle’s phone started ringing. The name on the screen read “Stan”.

“Wow,” Craig said.

“God, that was fast,” Kyle muttered. He stared at the name as it kept ringing. Again those gears were turning in his head and Craig wondered what exactly was going through his head this time. Kyle let it ring all the way to the end and the screen informed he had one missed call from Stan. As it started up again, Kyle hung up on purpose and stuck his phone in his pocket.

“Hey, do you think there’s a lot of people at Stark’s Pond right there?” he asked Craig.

“Probably,” Craig said. “I know a spot near it that's kind of hidden though. I stargaze there.”

“Wanna go?” Kyle smiled. Through the window, Craig caught Tweek’s gaze. All the malice that had been it all evening was gone and it was soft, confused. They would talk tomorrow. About what, Craig wasn’t entirely sure. He wasn’t even sure what he wanted to come out of the conversation.

For now, he nodded to Kyle and walked back to his car with him. Kyle switched his phone to vibrate before pulling out. Craig had a strong suspicion that he was putting off his own conversation, but he didn’t care. Stark’s Pond was waiting for them.

#south park #sp cryle #sp olympics #craig tucker #kyle broflovski #sp fanfiction #sp craig #sp kyle

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