#someone tear the tablet from my hands i beg you
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Alright LISTEN!
This one might just be for me. Currently I am in a fem france and fem england mindspace. Pray to god this interest passes soon but for now this is all i think about.
Just two old ladies drinking. That's all.
<3
(Sorry its so very very messy i need sleep and better brush settings)
#hetalia#hws england#hws france#myart#my art#historical hetalia#nyotalia#nyo england#nyo france#arthur kirkland#francis bonneofoy#francis bonnefoy#someone tear the tablet from my hands i beg you
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Found family mostly fluff: Emily falls, but it's not Charlie who's there to catch her and help her sort out her new life, it's Carmilla.
Charlie's hellborn, she doesn't know anything other than hell, but Carmilla is far too familiar with the culture shock, with the pain of losing paradise, and worse the pain and guilt of failing Sera, of hurting her in the quest to do the right thing.
It's more adoption than found family, but I hope you like it.
Three for three
“Sera please, don't do this,” Emily begged, she was on the edge of heaven. Sera wiped the tears from her eyes.
“I told you not to question him. No one can, not me and not you. Just, just make this easier for both of us,” Sera held her spear tightly.
“Sera!” Emily tried again. Sera closed her eyes and pushed Emily off the cloud, sending her down to hell.
In hell, the sky flashed gold and a small burning light could be seen. Carmilla’s chest tightened and she ran out of the meeting. “No, not another one.”
With a few hard pumps of her wings, she rushed into the sky and caught the fallen angel in the air. The girl was weeping, calling for someone named Sera.
“I'm not Sera, but I'll keep you safe,” Carmilla rubbed her back and smiled, only a few feathers had been burned off in her short fall. She wouldn't have to deal with her entire center of gravity changing.
“It hurts so much,” Emily clutched Carmilla’s chest.
“I know, nena, I know,” Carmilla sighed before flying to her warehouse. She entered her office through the skylight and set Emily down on the couch. The girl’s clothes were almost completely burned off and the burns turned her skin bright red in spots.
By the time her daughters came in, Carmilla had used the whole bottle of burn cream and bandages.
“Mama, whose that?” Clara asked, inching closer to the crying girl.
“A fallen angel, we should let her rest, mija. Falling is hard on someone,” Carmilla rubbed her daughters back.
“She looks so young,” Odette pointed out.
“Si, can you two prepare a room for her? She looks to be a size up from Clara,” Carmilla handed over her credit card. The two nodded and rushed out.
It took two hours for Emily to calm down enough to take in the scene. Carmilla was working on her tablet, running her fingers through Emily's hair as she worked.
“Hi?” Emily squeaked.
“Good, you're up,” Carmilla put down her tablet, “how do you feel?”
“Hurt, pain, confused,” Emily said, rubbing her eyes and noticing the bandages.
Carmilla nodded, “welcome to hell. I am Carmilla Carmine.”
“The angelic weapon dealer?” Emily tried to sit up but cried out in pain.
“Yes,” Carmilla petted her a bit more, “don't worry, I won't hurt you.”
“I just wanted to do the right thing.”
“I believe you.”
“Sinners don't deserve to die.”
Carmilla nodded and listened to Emily’s woes gradually get more and more difficult to understand with her crying until Clara knocked on the door.
“We got the room set up, mama, I brought up some clothes for her,” Clara held out a green dress.
“Thank you,” Carmilla sat Emily up and helped her into the dress.
“I'm Clara,” Clara held her hand out for Emily.
“Emily, Emmy, Em, whatever you want to call me,” Emily smiled.
“Let's get Emily downstairs, are you hungry or would you rather just sleep?” Carmilla hefted Emily in her arms and started to carry her to the elevator.
“Food please,” Emily snuggled into Carmilla’s chest, “the people in hell are way nicer than I thought.”
Both Carmine's laughed, “nah, most are awful. You just got lucky mama caught you.”
“We can teach you the rules of hell when you recover more.” The elevator dinged on their floor, Odette was already preparing lunch.
“Mother, is that our new sister?” Odette asked.
“I don't adopt every downtrodden child that ends up in my office!”
“Thou is two for two,” Zestial said, appearing behind her.
“Hello, Zestial,” Carmilla rolled her eyes and put Emily down in a chair. “She is only staying until she can navigate hell on her own.”
“If thou say so,” Zestial said at the same time as Odette and Clara said, “suuure mama/mother.”
Carmilla took the spatula from Odette and finished cooking while the girls asked Emily a million questions. Most being her favorite color or music.
It took a week until Carmilla was sure Emily had recovered enough for the first lesson.
“Deals are very powerful down here. If you must make one, be very specific and never offer your soul. No one does anything for free,” Carmilla started.
“Even you?” Emily squirmed on the couch.
“Don't worry, mama just gets another daughter after this,” Clara whispered. Carmilla just rubbed her head.
“Not adopting her.”
Odette and Clara laughed.
“You can tease her like that?” Emily whispered.
“Of course, she lets us know if we go too far,” Odette nodded.
“Sera would never let me tease her.” Emily rubbed her arm.
“Well then, tease mama then. Call her mama, or say,” Clara whispered the second thing in Emily’s ear.
“Uhm, ¿Cuál es el animal que es dos animales? El gato, porque es gato y araña? Did I say that right?” Emily asked. Carmilla had her face in her hands.
“Unfortunately, you pronounced that stupid joke perfectly, and you two, stop being a bad influence.”
“Bad jokes are not a sin, mother,” Odette pointed out. The three bickered back and forth a bit longer, making Emily smile. If this was hell, she could learn to like it.
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Miles, I'm begging you, please give us Kwazii and the younger Octonauts and Octo-Agents explaining technology and memes to Calico Jack, Natquik, and Marsh. The thoughts of the antics those three would get into with their new knowledge gives me life!!!!
okokokok yes for sure I totally see where you're coming from but this prompt would really only work with Ranger Marsh and Inkling because Natquik and Calico Jack are both surprisingly efficient with technology in canon.
Natquik lives in and spends most of his time in the Gup-I, which is basically a giant computer on legs; and Calico Jack started modifying the Gup-R the second he got his paws on it. (and they both seemed to figure out their octo-watches rather quickly.)
however with that being said;
Ranger Marsh:
His Octowatch is the only piece of technology he can use semi-efficiently, and all he knows how to do is sound the Octo-alert.
Sometimes he'll sound the Octo-alert just to talk to Tweak. Free Tweak button.
Tweak gives him regular lessons on how to use all his new gear, sometimes Dashi comes along too. It's,, a challenge.
Enjoys Florida Man memes. Once in a while he'll see one and go "Haha. I did that once." and Tweak nods along knowingly and Dashi's like "???"
Inkling:
Could potentially become very good at technology, if he had a manual to read.
Not a headcanon but it has just occurred to me that he's the only one without an Octowatch. Now I want him to have one.
Chooses not to learn technology because he doesn't feel like he needs it.
Chose to learn how to use his tablet only so he could talk to Min.
Calico Jack:
Definitely the type of person who rips things apart and puts them back together to see how they work. You can't tell me I'm wrong.
Tweak caught him tearing his Octowatch into pieces... Kwazii had to hold her back while he ran.
Pretends to sound the Octo-alert on accident to talk to Kwazii. Free Kwazii button.
(He blames it on Pete 🤫)
Natquik:
As I said, he's very good at computers. However, the Gup-I probably did take some getting used to, considering the station he was living in before was very old, and probably outdated.
Imagine handing an Iphone 13 to someone whose only ever used an Altair-8800.
Barnacles helped teach him how to use everything, it didn't need to take as long as it did, but they kept getting distracted (they were getting caught up :)).
Kwazii definitely did that thing to him where you show an old person the "showing my dad/mom a meme" meme and they do the thing—it worked and Barnacles got mad at him for it but it was worth it.
#octonauts#ask#which tentacle would inkling wear his watch on. this is an important question xd#idk if they would have memes in the octonauts universe. but y'know if they DID;; then i am correct ☝️#octo-agents#ranger marsh octonauts#professor inkling#octonauts calico jack#professor natquik
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riv styx's rec list
(say that five times fast!)
this is gonna be really, really long, so i'm putting it all under the cut, sorted alphabetically and categorized by rating. if there's something you'd like to add, just reply, rb, or send me an ask!
General
Amo, Amas, Amat by Verecunda
1502 words. Jed just doesn't get this whole Latin thing.
Finishing (Touches) by flowerdeluce
4255 words. After escaping Kahmunrah's hourglass, Jedediah has a problem that's worse than non-functional guns: as it turns out, sand baths exfoliate more than a hand-painted miniature cowboy can afford. Octavius takes it upon himself to make everything better.
Forget-Me-Not by EwokRae22
17437 words. Octavius is the first to come down with it— and discovers all too quickly what it means to cough up flower petals, yet is unwilling to guilt his best friend into loving him just to save him. Jedediah ends up infected too, in his effort to help his best friend— who he secretly loves. OR: A Hanahaki au, but it begs the question. If Hanahaki were a real disease, how would it have effected world history?
Hold My Hand by hoc_voluerunt
2683 words. "I'll take that hand now." Focused on the end of The Secret of the Tomb. Jedediah and Octavius come to a realisation on their final night alive in New York.
Listen to the rhythm of the falling rain by clumsyghost
1548 words. Octavius misses the rain. Jed attempts to cheer him up.
Manifest Destiny by clumsyghost
5780 words. “What do you mean,” Larry repeated numbly, “that Rome is gone?”
Overworked by MaidenofIron157
1317 words. Octavius has been a bit run down lately. Jed has just the solution.
The Sanctuary (Any Weather series) by EwokRae22
15338 words. On a lucky break from McPhee, Larry brings the exhibits on a winter vacation north of New York. He has everything prepared, or at least that’s what he tells himself. Because nothing can stop Jedediah and Octavius’s useless and oh-so-tiny longing for each other, not even the snow.
Teen
Ain't No Prince Charming by Merlin Missy (mtgat)
4270 words. When his very best friend in the world gets stolen from the museum, Jedediah sets out to rescue him.
All This Bad Blood by doorrepairgirl
1898 words. 50 years of rude neighbors, territory disputes, and grudges repaid with new grudges. No way all that’s gonna go away overnight, right?
Cacoethes by Anonymous
4478 words. A deeper look into Jedediah and Octavius's experiences during Battle of the Smithsonian, and a look at what could have happened after the end.
Glimpse of us by rice_enjoyer
5311 words. He finds it thrilling to fight Jedediah like this, to tear into each other until they’re both panting messes, hair disheveled and skin blossoming with purple bruises. Octavius subconsciously loves the small in-betweens where they catch their breath. Having Jedediah laid out before him, shirt rumpled and red handkerchief skewed out of place. He feels an almost possessive pride seeing the marks they leave on each other, claiming one another, even in the name of rivalry. For what is hatred, if not a twisted form of fascination? tldr someone on tumblr said jedtavius makes more sense as bitter exes and i haven't stopped thinking about it since
He Loves Me Not by orphan_account
25820 words. Jed stumbles across a stack of unsent/unfinished love letters from Octavius to an unknown person in the museum. Jed sets out to find out who. Not because he’s jealous. No, not all.
if this was a cowboy movie (i'd give you my boots) by Liviapenn
10180 words. There are secret articles in our treaties with the gods, of more importance than all the rest, which the historian can never know.' -- Henry David Thoreau. This hour I tell things in confidence, I might not tell everybody, but I will tell you. -- Walt Whitman, "Song of Myself"
Kingdoms Of Clay by Historical_kitten
31675 words. The tablet is at the museum to stay and all the miniatures are pleased. In celebration, the museum has made several changes, including installing a new diorama. Unfortunately, the new exhibit contains historical figures that Octavius knows all too well. The Roman general's life is turned upside down when he encounters an old enemy who is not content to leave the past in the past. Jedediah has Octavius' back as always, but when his enemy discovers the cowboy is his weakness, Octavius will have to scramble to save everything he loves. Will Octavius survive the reappearance of an old rival while keeping Jedediah safe? Will he tell said cowboy how he truly feels about him? Or will we see the second fall of Rome? You'll have to read to find out!
On Every Horizon by flowerdeluce
15551 words. After discovering how lucrative ‘publicity stunts’ are for the museum, McPhee organises a series of art exhibitions in the museum’s gallery. The installations are refreshed weekly, leaving Jed and Octavius only brief windows of time to explore each one.
One Minute I Held the Key; Next the Walls Were Closed on Me by woolesbeano
19336 words. Ahkmenrah understands human nature. He knows how this works. It’s a simple tradeoff, one he’s familiar with. Compliance and subservience grant him freedom from his sarcophagus. Mistakes result in punishment. It’s human nature. He’s used to it. Then why does the museum seem different?
Paper Planes by SugarGlassShards
4372 words. Saving the day is easy. Surviving the morning evening after the night before — not so much.
promise a future I can come back to by Riv_Styx
31,127 words. A story about two men, second chances, and destiny - or, a mostly-pre-canon soulmate AU, featuring matching scars and a healthy dose of gay pining.
The Barn Raising by PoetryInMotion
7463 words. The Old West's barn has been demolished by a fetch-related accident. When they get a new one, the Western denizens throw a good old-fashioned barn-raising party. Jedediah decides to invite Octavius (and both secretly hope that they can kindle a romance between the do-si-do and the two-step).
too much green to feel blue by HearJessRoar
3177 words. In which Octavius decided that if he was going to die in Pompeii, like hell was he going to die without kissing Jed first, and well. They didn't die. Now what.
Mature
i don't want to live forever (i'm afraid i'll go to heaven series) by HungryOnMain
3418 words. Jedediah and Octavius don't make it. The exhibits prepare for stasis for what may be the last time. The two miniatures awaken in a strange place, before a strange being. Judgement comes.
While Rome Burned by csi_sanders1129
10265 words. In which a new addition (Emperor Nero) to the Roman diorama causes serious trouble for our two favorite miniatures.
Windowsill by bisexualsolidsnake
5417 words. Larry knew their favourite date night spot well, since he’s the one who always had to retrieve them when they inevitably stayed there too long. For once, though, he knew where they would end up tonight weeks in advance. Shameless proposal fluff.
Explicit
As A Man by orphan_account
2894 words. "I think it's pretty darn simple. You're lookin' real temptin' down there, an' I can't help but think ya would look even prettier if I just-" His thumb slips lower, until it catches on the edge of Octavius' lip. He just looks up through his lashes at Jedediah, who seems to be waiting for the roman to tell him to stop. He should. He should tell Jedediah to remove his hands. That it is unsightly, even atrocious, for a man of his status to be on the ground before him, but all Octavius can think about is how much he wants to rise up onto his knees and take the cowboy into his mouth. If he was a man with even less control than he already is, he could easily drool at the thought. or: Octavius comes to terms with the fact he might like being submissive, sometimes
Evening at the Archive (series) by HungryOnMain
19079 words. A collection of stories that take place in the Night at the Museum universe, most of them explicit.
Not Rated
Everybody Knows (Except Them) by impulserun
2224 words. 4 times Jedediah and Octavius (well, mostly Jedediah) were oblivious, much to the pain of everyone around them, and 1 time they finally wised up.
in sickness and in health (to love and to cherish) by zhingweii
8403 words. in which Jedediah gets darted - and it turns out to be quite the enlightening experience.
Oh My Moon by bitter_lemonade
8912 words. New dioramas appear at the hall of miniatures! Everything is great intill Gio comes along…
Taking The Blame by GayGothicFanboy
384 words. Kahmunrah takes the blame for his mother's crime.
#night at the museum#night at the museum fanfiction#night at the museum fic#natm#natm fanfiction#natm fic#fic recs#riv recs
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Blossoms by the amazing devil, WinterHawk and set in freefall if possible (though I'm okay with any universe)
I am so sorry this is so late, I opened prompts and then real life showed up and smacked me directly in the face.
cw blood, mentions of injuries, references to dead characters
——————
The phone rings uselessly, dozens of messages pouring through as Clint ignores them. It feels closer to a tablet of stone, a useless brick in his hand. He goes to toss it away, the blood smeared across it another reminder of what had happened minutes ago. Before he does though, something flashes, catching his eye.
The name across the screen is emblazoned into Clint’s retinas. Bucky Barnes, the notorious ex-best friend, of Clint’s own doing. They’d been close once upon a time, some unspoken understanding that connected the two of them for years. Bobbi had noticed it, pushed for Clint to do something about it, but he truly was never ready.
But that had been a different era. These days they barely said a word to one another outside of mission talk. Their easy camaraderie was replaced with a tension that neither of them acknowledged, neither of them ever spoke about.
It was so like them to never talk about the things that actually mattered.
The mission was always more important.
The myriad of messages he’d received before this phone call meant nothing to Clint, but Bucky’s judgment weighs heavily on his soul. Part of him wants to know what’s going on in Bucky’s mind, if he thinks Clint is an evil assassin like everyone else. Or does Bucky truly know him, know that he’s in over his head again, a useless fuck up who got a teenager dragged into the line of fire and killed.
Clint’s not sure which is worse.
Curiosity wins over as he closes his eyes and prays this goes better than he thinks it will.
“Clint?” Bucky’s voice is hoarse, like he’s been yelling too long again. That or he’s been crying himself raw, because every time Bucky cries too much his voice gives out.
He tries not to think about which of the options it is.
“What do you want.” It’s colder than Clint intends, but he doesn’t feel much like himself to begin with. It feels like someone else’s voice, harsh and accusatory when all he wants to do is beg for Bucky's forgiveness.
“I called to make sure you’re alright.”
“I didn’t know you still cared.”
“Clint,” Bucky starts, but Clint doesn’t let him finish.
Clint doesn’t know what comes over him. “No, Bucky. You’ve spent the last five years fucking off on every mission you can get that’s as far away from me as possible, don’t pretend you suddenly care.” His chest is heavy with emotion and he’s not sure where it’s all coming from or how much of it is true, but it all comes flooding out regardless. He’s helpless to stop the pain that’s coming out of him, aiming it directly at Bucky rather than himself.
“You don’t get to lash out at me just because I asked you if you’re alright.” Bucky snaps, and it only aggravates Clint more.
“Fuck you.” Clint says, and he can feel his eyes welling up with tears because as hurtful as the words he had uttered were, he realizes that there’s so much truth in them, more than he ever let himself think about. He feels like Bucky abandoned him for years, the only time they were even in the same room together was when they went after Natasha, and even that had felt stilted.
“I called Kate.” Bucky says, his tone flat, and that stops Clint in his tracks.
“No,” he starts, but Bucky interrupts him.
“I know you won’t listen to me, I know I fucked us up, I know it’s my fault that I put work first. I won’t give you excuses, but don’t you dare start acting like I’ve stopped caring.” His voice breaks, Clint can hear it over the line, “I know you’re in over your head. I covered for you with Sam, but I never stopped believing in you. Out of everyone on this god-forsaken team, I am the only one who trusts the lengths you’ll go to not to kill people. So, don’t you dare act like I don’t care just because I’ve got my own baggage.”
“Bucky-“
“I don’t want to hear it. Kate should be there soon.” The line clicks, and despite how emotionally defeated Clint feels, there’s some small blossom of hope sitting in his chest, bubbling up amongst the pain and the hurt.
Bucky still cares, Clint thinks, and it’s something he truly didn’t think was possible anymore. He’s still got to figure out a way to defeat the hood on his own terms, but being seen by Bucky, Bucky knowing that Clint isn’t killing people, Bucky knowing Clint despite all the bullshit, makes Clint think that maybe all of this is possible.
He hears a knock on the basement door and a lilted voice calling out to see if he’s okay. He knows it’s Kate, but before he answers, all bloodied and bruised, he has a text message to send first.
Perhaps if he does, they can start to heal. Perhaps they can begin to move forward.
To Bucky: I’m sorry.
#violetlou2020#winterhawk#freefall#i put references to the deleted kate scene in here if anyone needs a link to that let me know!!!#i dont know how i'll find it but i will figure it out lmao its on twitter somewhere#tater writes#Clint Barton#Bucky Barnes
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To All The Men I’ve Fucked Before ; (M) jjk
↣ When your secret 'sex' journal entries are somehow texted to the people they were written about, including a couple of coworkers and your best friend, you find your quiet work existence turned upside down. based off of TATBILB.
moodboards | playlist | Netflix ReImagined BTS Masterlist | TATMIFB masterlist
↳ #NetflixReImaginedBTS: Jeon Jungkook x Reader starring in a fake dating au, photographer!JK, stylist!Reader
⟢ pairing: photographer!jungkook x stylist!reader
⟢ word count: 30.7k
⟢ genre + warnings: nsfw 18+, fake relationship, smluff © & angst, kissing, fluffy fake relationship cuteness, jealousy, jungkook needs help with feelings, clothed humping, explicit sexual content in the form of unprotected sex, multiple orgasms, body worship, cunnilingus, fingering, handjob, hickies, blowjob, creampie, begging, strip tease if you squint, baby petname, crying, feelings of heartbreak, oh did i mention angst? namkook fist fight, minimal arguing, minimal blood, other idols make brief appearances, OT7 is present
⟢ summary: When your secret 'sex' journal entries are somehow texted to the people they were written about, including a couple of coworkers and your best friend, you find your quiet work existence turned upside down. based off of the netflix film and novel by jenny han, but different.
⟢ an: hello, hello! this is probably my favorite story to date that i’ve written and the longest one shot! I am so grateful to everyone who helped me by reading this (most are not on tumblr), but especially my baby hana, @taestulip, who always reads and hypes me up. the movie/book series it’s based off of is honestly one of my faves, and turning it into an adult version was a lot of fun! I know i took out some characters and changed a lot of the plot devices, but for good reason, as it is it’s own novel, I did not want to encroach on that territory. fake dating au’s are some of my absolute faves and so i hope you enjoy this! sorry for the length, sksksks.
⟢ prologues: NJ & Reader | Love Triangle (coming soon) |
The large glass building was located on the corner of the block, in the heart of the city. A sight to see from all corners of the downtown area, you loved that you worked at BigHit Music. Of course, housing the globally recognized idol duo, SeoulM8, made working there fun. You walked into the building, and swiped your badge as you made your way through the secured entrance and up the elevator to your office.
The gold plaque on your door highlighted your name and position. To this day you’re still in awe to see your name engraved in sans serif with the words “Lead Wardrobe Stylist” written beneath it. You entered the office, flipping on the lights and smiling at the large board along the back wall. It was covered with the designs you would need for the upcoming shoot for SeoulM8’s fan content, first single off their newest album, and plans for the concert wardrobe as well.
Placing your empty insulated coffee tumbler on your desk, you set down all of your belongings, organizing your design tablet, notebook, and favorite writing utensils before once again taking the tumbler in hand. A cup of coffee would be perfect to start your busy Monday before your meeting with Jimin and Taehyung about their wardrobe later today.
Walking into the employee lounge area, you set about making your coffee. Others walked in and out, dropping off packed lunches and grabbing coffee as well, so you can’t help but hear the gossip as two of the women who work with SeoulM8 discuss the latest office drama.
“I can’t believe it. She broke up with him!” Becca said, her colorful pixie cut swaying slightly as she shook her head.
“She’s crazy, Jungkook is gorgeous; have you seen his thighs?” Theresa responded, twirling her dark purple curls in wonder.
You stirred in the caramel creamer slowly, listening to their conversation. Jeon Jungkook and Jeon Somin (no relation) had been dating for almost as long as you could remember. It was surprising to hear that they were broken up.
“Somin is really pretty too, though, she could have any guy… What if that’s what it was?”
“You think someone better than Jungkook came along and wooed her?”
“I mean… I swore I heard a rumor that she went out on a date with one of the actors, but who knows. All we know for sure is that Jungkook is single.”
Finishing your coffee, you closed the lid to your favorite cup and left the room, smiling politely to Becca and Theresa who provided you with the information that had your head reeling. The entire walk back to your office, and even once you were seated at the desk, you couldn’t stop thinking about Jungkook and Somin.
Somin was one of the first friends you made at BigHit School for Music and Artists when you transferred in after completing your AA requirements at another university. BHSMA operated differently than traditional universities, converting students to employees at the company associated with the school. It was where you met Jungkook, Jimin, and a few other people that you worked closely with at the company. After that first year though, you grew apart from some of the people you spent that entire first year with, making new friends, like the one walking in through your office door.
So lost in thoughts of the past, you almost knocked over your perfectly made coffee onto your design tablet, where you had been sketching aimlessly. A dimpled smile was the cause of your quickly beating heart, complimenting the face of Namjoon, who startled you when he called your name loudly.
“Joon, I swear, one day, you will be the death of me, and my electronics.”
“Listen, you dropped your phone all on your own, no one told you to be scared when I walked into the room.”
“Stop being so fucking loud when you enter, you startle people!”
He just laughed, his pretty eyes disappearing as he expelled joy. Namjoon was glowing, his tanned skin looking healthy and youthful. You couldn’t help but smile at him as he pushed his falling platinum hair out of his dark eyes and set his gaze on you.
“I think I’m gonna do it today, Y/N.”
You froze, smile still on display, but a little less enthusiastic than when he had first walked in.
“Do it?” You asked, wary as you saw his hand drift to his inside coat pocket.
“I love her, Y/N. I think I’m gonna ask her to be mine, always.” Namjoon removed a small velvet box from his pocket and you reached for it, hand trembling slightly. Namjoon, in his excitement, was oblivious to the way you shook, as well as the sound of your heart splintering. “Do you think Jennie will like it?”
Looking at the ring tucked into the box, you nodded, not trusting your voice. Of course Jennie would. It was beautiful. A rose gold band with an opulent Moonstone set in the middle, and two smaller diamonds set on either side. You knew that the moonstone was Joon’s favorite, he talked about how much he loved the moon countless late nights that you would sit with him in his studio.
“It’s gorgeous, Namjoon.” You said quietly. This time, he noticed the tremble of your voice, and stood worriedly from where he was perched on the corner of your desk.
“Whoa, what’s wrong?” He asked you, concerned by your demeanor.
“Nothing, I’m just so happy for you.” You lied, tilting your head back to blink away the forming tears. Believing you, he enveloped you into a hug and you hugged him back tightly, afraid to let go.
“Ah, you have a meeting soon and I’m here making you cry… I’ll see you after and tell you how it went! Good luck, Y/N!”
Namjoon exited your office, footsteps light as he headed towards his future… and away from you. Sinking into your chair, you take several steadying breaths in order to settle your heart. Why did it hurt so much? You had given up on the idea of you and Namjoon a long time ago. This wasn’t what you expected to have to deal with when you arrived to work, but you were a professional. Wiping your smudged eyeliner to clean up your makeup, you looked down at your design tablet, where you see the sketch of a professional camera held by a large hand up to a large doe eye half finished on your screen.
Hitting the “new” button, you begin to draw anew on a clean canvas creating the concept for the concert design for your meeting with SeoulM8 later on.
—
Sitting at home, you massaged the soles of your feet as you rested on your couch with your younger sister, Yuna, who was doing her homework at the coffee table. It had been a long day, but Jimin and Taehyung loved your idea for their concert concept: young guys traveling Seoul for group songs, and angelic, soft individual images of them with feathered outfits to match their solo songs.
“Yuna… Namjoon is getting engaged today.”
Your sister stopped working, turning to look at you with eyes wide. She had been diligently studying for the cosmetology courses she was taking at your alma mater in hopes of getting hired at the same company as you. This news threw her off track.
“What? He—wait, what?”
You nodded, letting out a deep sigh as you turned towards the floor to ceiling windows in the living room. Rain was steadily falling, the perfect backdrop to your mood.
“Both of our dreams are shattered. He showed me the ring and said he was proposing today. To Jennie.”
Yuna flung herself onto the couch dramatically.
“Can we please drink to drown our sorrows? This homework can wait.”
You nodded, turning on Netflix before getting up to grab the wine and glasses. While you stood on tiptoe at the edge of the counter, reaching up into the tall cabinet for the long stemmed glasses, the doorbell to your apartment rang.
“I’ll get it!” Yuna yelled, and so you clambered onto the counter, knees digging into the marble as you finally managed to reach your goal.
“Oh! Namjoon?”
You almost slipped from where you were perched, confused as to why your newly engaged best friend would be loudly squelching his tennis shoes into your apartment and not ravishing his fiancee. You expected a text or call about the engagement, not a personally delivered update.
You wouldn’t be able to pretend this time.
Turning to look at the entryway, you see a downtrodden and sopping wet Namjoon, eyes rimmed red from crying.
“Joonie?” Your voice was soft, questioning. He maneuvered across the kitchen with just three big steps and pulled you into his arms. His body slotted between your thighs where you sat on the counter after almost falling, and he let loose a sob that broke your heart even more than earlier.
“Joon, what happened?” You asked, scared.
“J-Jennie… she said no.” Your eyes widened in shock, but you waited patiently for him to continue. “She’s moving to Japan, she took that expansion position… She broke up with me.”
—
It was a long night to say the least. 2 wine glasses turned into 3 once Namjoon had shown up. You grabbed some of his spare clothes for him to change into, threw his stuff in the washer, and joined Yuna and him back in the living room where they had both curled up and began watching The Start Up on Netflix.
Climbing onto the couch, you wrapped your arm around him and placed your head on his shoulder. He kissed your forehead before settling in to watch TV, and you couldn’t help the way your heart reacted to it. He had always been affectionate with you during your time as best friends, though it had lessened some the more serious he and Jennie became. The difference now was that this time, he was single. A part of you hoped it could mean more in the future.
By episode 2, Namjoon was asleep on Yuna’s shoulder; no surprise considering how tired he must have been. He had cried on his way to your apartment, and the last of his tears onto your shirt when he arrived. Luckily, you hadn’t yet changed out of your own work clothes, so when you grabbed his garments, you took the opportunity to change into a spaghetti strap tank and sweatpants for couch cuddling. You turned off the TV as you untangled yourself from him, stretching as he roused slightly from your movements.
“Don’t you two just look like the sweetest couple,” you say yawning, gently teasing your sister who was beet red from your words. Her crush on Namjoon was nothing new, but not something she wanted him to know about. She already knew she was too young for him; seen as nothing more than his best friend’s little sister. A part of Yuna was jealous that you had better chances with him than she did.
“Shut it!” Her whisper is harsh, but Namjoon slept on, unaware of the sisterly teasing. “I already know you’re gonna write all about this in your sex book!”
You rolled your eyes, having forgotten about your old journal that you kept. You just shrugged, leaning down to gently wake Namjoon so you can put him to bed.
“Come on sleepy… Let’s get up and go to bed okay?”
His large frame shuffled across the living room and down the hallway to your room. You heard him plop heavily on your bed, probably already asleep without having pulled back the covers. You put the empty wine glasses into the sink and straightened up the living room a tiny bit before you went to your room as well.
Not yet ready for bed, you sat at your desk with the small lamp on, staring at the old journal your sister reminded you about. The image on the front is faded; you can barely make out what it used to be as you’ve covered it with doodles and stickers that are peeling at the edges. Opening it, you turned through the pages, taking in the lengthy entries about the boys you’ve slept with, starting with the one you lost your virginity to.
Your finger grazed across the fancy calligraphy where you wrote his name at the top in a purple gel pen in. Jeon Jungkook. You laughed at the way you wrote about him, first describing him as a person before giving the intimate details of the experience, and finally ending it with a brief message of what you had wanted to say to him. Your eyes scanned the page, certain sentences catching your attention as you read it.
“...and the way he held my neck when he first entered me, I think I’m in love.”
“He said it was his first time too. Does this mean something?”
“Jungkook, having you as my first… I want you to be my last. You looked at me as if the galaxies were reflected in my eyes. I want to feel the way you make me feel all the time. I hope that this does change things between us, but in a good way.”
You cringe a little, remembering how it didn’t turn out that way. Instead, after that night 5 years ago, you didn’t talk to Jungkook for a couple of days due to exam week. You texted him after your last test and he told you to come over; he wanted to talk to you about something too. But when you went to his dorm to see him and confess, you found him with Somin, your best friend at the time. They weren’t doing anything outrageous, just sitting on his twin bed in his dorm room talking, but you heard what she was saying through the door that was cracked.
Somin was confessing. You had no idea that she liked him too. It made your heart tight knowing that he had slept with you a week prior, and now your best friend was confessing to him. To be fair, neither of you had told the other about your feelings towards him. So instead of walking in and telling him how you felt, you left. He had texted you later asking what happened to you coming over but you lied, saying you had gotten busy.
On the last day of the semester, Somin shared that she was dating Jungkook. Shocked and heartbroken, you wasted no time packing up your dorm for the summer and traveling home. Phone calls, texts, and plans to meetup became less frequent between your group of friends over the following semester until they eventually stopped. Did you stop talking to Jungkook and Somin… or was it them that stopped talking to you?
Turning the pages, you move on from the thoughts of the photographer and stop at the next blank page. Grabbing a blue gel pen from the cup on your desk, you write with flair.
Kim Namjoon.
How do I even begin to express how I feel about you? God, you make my heart flutter. I met you at a time when I needed someone. You were the bane of my existence at first, blasting your loud music from the apartment under mine. Going to yell at you turned out to be the best thing. You turned out to be the best thing. Of course, you had just started going out on dates with Jennie and you would be graduating a year ahead of me, but I knew that we would stay best friends. I mean, most BHSMA students intern at and get hired by the company. So for the longest time, I hid my feelings from you. That one night, before you and Jennie were exclusive… when we had sex, I thought my heart would burst. I never wanted a man so badly before that night. You are the moon in my sky, Kim Namjoon. What other body could pull an entire ocean from shore to shore? What other being could wrap me in love from beginning to end? Tonight you have just lost your moon. I am a terrible person because a part of me is happy to not be losing her moon. So now, I will climb into bed next to your sleeping body and hold you close as we sleep, and pray when the morning comes, in the light of the day, you will open your eyes and see me—the faint moon in the sky that has always been there for you. Maybe you will finally see me—and decide you want me too.
Setting the pen down, you reach for your phone. In your slightly drunken state, you decided to take pictures of each entry, in order to move these to a more secure environment and take your journal digital. You snapped a picture of each page (not that there were many) before you checked your phone for messages and plugged it in. You left your room to shut down all the lights now that Yuna was finished putting away her stuff and making her way to bed as well.
“Hey, can I grab an extra notebook from your stash? I need to finish taking these notes on mixing hair colors.”
“Sure, it’s under the desk in the blue bin.”
She nodded and you continued past her, double checking the door to make sure it was locked before moving to throw Namjoon’s clothes into the dryer. Once satisfied that the house was in order, you went to your room. Yuna was standing over your desk, eyes reading your latest entry into the journal.
“Yuna! Get out!”
“This is beautiful though, he should see it. You need to tell him how you feel!”
You shook your head.
“No. He just got his heart broken. It’s not the time to tell him.”
“You’re stubborn,” she whispered back at you, “you’re gonna lose him again!”
“Then that’s how it was destined to be. But I am not taking advantage of his vulnerable state.”
“You’re gonna be single forever. Spending every night with your baby sister, drinking wine because all the men you have ever loved have moved on!”
“Go to bed, Yuna!”
She shrugged as she walked out of the room, knowing that she was right. Deep down, a part of you felt like she was right too.
Climbing into bed, you struggled to lift the covers over Namjoon’s slumbering frame before it pulled free and you could cover the two of you. As you settled into the bed next to him, he instinctively wrapped his arm around you, pulling you to his chest in his sleep.
You knew that his dreams were imagining Jennie in his arms instead.
—
That next morning, you checked Namjoon’s phone for his calendar. Having known him for several years, you know his passcode and that he keeps his work schedule exclusively on his cell. Typing in the code, 0613, you saw that his calendar stated that he didn’t need to go to the office until around noon.
Lucky, you thought, eyeing the time on the phone. It was a little past 6:45am, and you had to wake your sister for her hands-on class before you got ready for the day.
“Yuna! It’s almost 7,” you say as you knocked on her door and heard a muffled response. You headed back to your room and chose your outfit, knowing that the day would be busy and long with the concept photoshoot for SeoulM8 starting today. Choosing your outfit wisely, you climbed into the shower a few minutes later and spent at least a half hour just trying to cure the small hangover from the wine.
Once dressed, you found Yuna packing her bag for class. It was getting close to 8, which is the latest that you could leave to be at work on time, so you wrote a quick note to Namjoon and ran back to leave it on the bed. His hand snaked out of the covers just as you were pulling your hand back, a gentle grip to your wrist holding you there.
“Y/N, thank you for last night.” His voice is like a bullfrog’s croak, and you chuckled.
“Let me get you some water and some pain meds, okay? And of course Joonie, I’m here for you.” You leaned onto the bed with one knee, smoothing his hair back from his face once he’s released your wrist. “Always.”
Pressing your lips to his warm forehead, he pulled you down onto the bed with a hug and you can’t help but laugh.
“I’ve got to go! I’ll see you later, okay?” He nodded before he grips your neck, bringing his lips to your forehead this time. His lips linger longer than usual, and you shut your eyes at the tenderness of his kiss.
“Go back to sleep, now.” You pulled away from him, going to grab the medicine and water before you and Yuna leave the apartment.
—
You made it to work with extra time to make your coffee, so after you dropped off all of your extra stuff, you grabbed your tumbler and work tablet with all of your drawn designs for today’s shoot and made your way through the busy halls to the employee lounge. Today, the door was propped open for ease as it was a busier day in the building.
You stood at the counter, stirring in the caramel creamer that you loved, when you felt a presence enter the room behind you.
“Y/N.”
Turning lazily, you cocked your eyebrow at Jungkook, who was standing awkwardly behind you. He had kicked the doorstop, allowing the door to close so that the two of you stood alone in the small staff kitchen. His hands were tucked into his joggers, while a white button down hung loosely from his frame.
“Whats up JK?” You asked, expecting him to address something about the shoot. You hadn’t yet seen the men you were to dress, so you couldn’t fathom he was here to complain already about the costuming. “If it’s about the wardrobe, I haven’t even seen Tae or Jimin yet, so—”
“Actually, no. Um,” he rubbed the back of his neck before making eye contact with you, “I know that when we had sex that one time, it was great—”
Instantly, alarm bells went off in your head. What the actual fuck was Jungkook doing talking about the night you lost your virginity to each other?
“—but I just... don’t feel the same way that you do about me. You know? That was years ago, and yeah while it was just as good for me as it was for you, I’m not in love with you or anything, I just broke up with Somin too, so—”
“Jungkook! Wait—what are you talking about?”
“The text you sent me.”
“Jungkook, I haven’t texted you in weeks.” You looked down at the phone you had pulled out of the back pocket of your ripped black jeans, and opened up the messages. You noticed his text thread was now at the top. “Wait, what?”
Opening his specific thread you see the screenshot of the page from your journal that you took last night, sent to him. How the fuck did this happen? In your drunken state, did you send it to him? You begin to ramble as you throw the spoon in the sink with a loud clunk and begin screwing the lid on the coffee.
“Jungkook, stop. That was from a long time ago, it’s not recent at all, oh my god. I am so sorry you had to read that—you know what, I’m just gonna head to the set now. Okay, bye!” You breezed past him, feet carrying you out of the employee lounge with a swiftness. Once back in your office you stared at the horrid message, outraged at yourself for your drunken antics.
Drunk you must really hate sober you.
—
Work was just as hectic as you thought it was going to be. After the most embarrassing morning, you were summoned right away to a last minute meeting with Jimin and Tae, where you made minor changes to their wardrobe.
“Y/N, you were always good at this in school, but damn. You are amazing now.” Jimin stared at you reflected in the mirror after you had turned his outfit into something fit for the concept with a few movements of the material that wrapped his body. Park Jimin, one of the few people you were still somewhat close with from that first year of school, was now a big shot idol, and one-half of SeoulM8. Kim Taehyung, his best friend, was the other part of the duo. He had met him after everyone split off after that first year. Going by the stage names Jimin and V, the two had met in their vocal lesson classes when Taehyung had switched his major, and BigHit saw potential in them.
You walked with Jimin towards the set of the photo shoot, one of the bigger production rooms today due to the use of the second level. They would be posing next to a hole in the floor, feathers falling around them. Taehyung was already antsy to get started, and was playing around with Somin, who was one of the group’s managers, while he waited for Jimin to arrive back to the set. Now, it looked like the only person missing was the photographer.
Walking to the fold out table set up at the back wall, you heard your phone chime. Opening to your messages, you saw a text from someone you hadn’t talked to in a while.
“Seo Joon?” You question quietly to yourself, but before you could even read the message, you saw a similarly embarrassing photo above his reply.
“Oh God, oh God...” You clicked out of his message thread, ignoring the reply because you honestly didn’t care. What you actually cared about was if you had somehow sent the most recent entry of your journal to the last person on Earth who was ready to read it. Namjoon.
“Fuck. Oh no. Oh no.” Sitting there, you saw the message clear as day with the small read receipt that it indeed had been read by him. The door to the set opened and Jungkook came waltzing through with his assistant. Before the door had a chance to swing closed all the way, you saw Namjoon’s form enter the room.
“Alright, let’s get started!” Jungkook’s voice was loud and called everyone’s attention except for Namjoon. His eyes were on you. He beelined your way, and you readied yourself to apologize to him, but before either of you could say anything, Jungkook interrupted.
“Hey Joon, good to see you hyung! I’m so sorry though, we got a closed set and need to get started… tight time schedule and all.”
“I just need to talk to Y/N.”
Jungkook took in Namjoon’s demeanor; eyes red, hair disheveled, voice wobbly. It was so unlike Namjoon to look this way that Jungkook looked at you before speaking. Your expression was confusing to Jungkook, as he knew Namjoon was your best friend. Your eyes were wide in fear with tears forming… when you didn’t say a word, Jungkook took charge. A part of him saw that fear in your eyes and wanted to protect you.
“Look Joon-hyung, normally I wouldn’t mind, but we need Y/N on set the entire time today. Wardrobe is important for concept photos, you can understand right? Maybe at break time or something?”
Namjoon nodded as Jungkook’s arm wrapped around your waist and he led you away from the table and back towards where the staging was set. When you finally chanced a look back, you saw the assistants leading Namjoon and a few other non-essential workers out of the room. Everyone else on set had watched the exchange between the three of you, including Somin. Her eyes narrowed as she took in the way Jungkook’s fingers curled around your frame.
At break time, you hid out, avoiding Namjoon who had, reluctantly, waited several hours until break was called. He would have to go into the studio soon, which you knew since you saw his calendar, and after the short 30 minute break, Jungkook retrieved you from the small side room you were hiding in when they resumed the next set of shots using black leather and wings.
The shoot kept your thoughts off of the incident, as you so aptly decided to call it in your head, until it was time to leave. You walked out with a large group, stealthily making it to your office. You sat on the floor with your back to the door, reviewing how many received these drunken messages of yours, happy to see that only 3 actually went through, since most of them were no longer in your phone anymore or had changed their numbers.
Park Seo Joon, an ex from your second year at BHSMA, had moved to Japan for work, and while he did respond, he figured it was a mistake and as the smart person he was, he noticed the date in the corner and was aware that it was old. You breathed a sigh of relief, glad to have avoided that potentially awkward scenario.
Hearing your phone ping, you checked the message and saw it was Jungkook. A series of messages came in from him, and you read them in succession.
Shaking your head, you stand, grabbing the white outfits from the rack an assistant had brought in earlier after the set change. Throwing them over your arm, you head off to the set in a rush, shooting back a quick text to let him know you were coming.
Most everyone from earlier was back on set, expressions showcasing various stages of irritation. You handed the clothing to an unusually quiet Somin, and lifted your now free arm to wave at the artists. Somin walked away, throwing quiet looks over at you and Jungkook, who you were standing near now that you had approached the table. Jungkook was leaning on that same table, arms crossed as he reviewed the printout of what was needed.
“You know they sent us an updated list 2 hours after we started shooting? While we were all here, they thought that we could somehow read their minds. Then when I uploaded and sent the file over to have them double check, they responded that we had to finish it tonight.”
“It’s annoying for sure, JK, but you know Jimin and Tae will deliver. Once they’re dressed I bet we’ll be done in like 15 minutes, max.”
He nodded, smiling at your optimism.
“Hey, are you gonna tell me what earlier was about? With Namjoon hyung?”
You froze, not expecting the question, but you were saved from having to answer right then, since Namjoon walked in at that moment. It was too late for you to go anywhere; you were standing too close to the door, trapped between the table and Namjoon, who looked hurt. Jungkook read the situation and took several steps away to give you some privacy with Namjoon.
“You’ve been avoiding me all day. After that message—did you think that I wouldn’t read it? I just broke up with Jennie, Y/N, it’s… I’m not… You can’t just say this shit to me right now.”
“Namjoon—I didn’t mean to, I was drunk and I promise you it’s not what you think, I don’t feel that way, okay?” You try and take it all back, wishing more than anything that he hadn’t read what you had written the previous night.
“You don’t feel that way? Are you kidding me? I read it!”
“No, I don’t feel that way, okay? I’m with someone else.” You lied. You hoped that he would buy it.
“Y/N, I’m your best friend. Don’t you think I would know?”
“Yeah, you're my best friend, but you and Jennie are always together, it’s been forever since we actually caught up, so yes, it’s recent okay?”
“Who are you dating then?”
You say the first name that popped into your head. The person closest to you.
“Jeon Jungkook.”
“I don’t believe it.” His words come out harsh, and a part of you, the part that already feels like shit because Namjoon chose to be with Jennie a couple of years ago, lashes out in hurt.
“Why? Cause someone like him could never date someone like me?”
“Yes, Y/N. You guys are too different!” His voice was getting louder, and you knew that you had to do something in order to get him to believe your lie. So you do the only thing you can think of in your heated state. You take the several steps needed to cross the space between you and Jungkook, who looked up from where he was absorbed into his phone.
“You ready?” he asked, looking down at your small frame.
“Yeah baby, I’m ready.” Your hand snaked behind his head, and firmly grasping his neck, you leaned up on tiptoes as you pulled his mouth toward yours. You kissed him, and in his surprise, his free hands gripped your waist and he pulled you closer to him, before you were separating from him, slightly breathless. His grip tightened before it rested gently on your hip and you settled back onto your heels.
You see the back of Namjoon’s coat trail behind him as he disappeared out the doors, pulling them shut loudly behind him.
You look back up at Jungkook, whose fingers squeeze your sides quickly to grab your attention.
“You’re definitely gonna have to explain after that kiss... baby.”
—
Later that evening, you sat with Jungkook in his car. A black Mercedes Benz GT63S to be exact, with dark grey leather and a small bit of wood grain along the spacious dashboard. Your fingers trailed along the wood grain as you explained to Jungkook what happened, starting with the accidental drunk text messages, leading up to the reason behind your kiss.
“So now what?” Jungkook asks, looking sideways over at you.
“I don’t know. I feel so stupid.”
“Look, Y/N… I think this could be mutually beneficial.”
You meet his eyes, a look of incredulity across your face.
“Please explain Jeon.”
“Look, earlier when I stepped in and kicked hyung off set, Somin was already eyeing the way we were behaving. She may or may not have texted me about it. Of course, I told her we were broken up, so she didn’t need to concern herself with my business. And then, when we came back to set, she made a face when they asked me to text you to come back too.” He smirked.
“I may or may not have peeped it, and may or may not have used it to my advantage. Of course, you kissing me definitely helped.” He glanced down at his phone as it lit up. Once again a message from Somin tiled above 17 other messages from her. He had been actively ignoring them while the two of you talked.
“So I say that we date.”
“We what?”
“Date. I can teach Somin a lesson about how to treat me and you can keep hyung off your back.”
“Teach Somin? I thought she broke up with you?”
“It was mutual. But this always happens. And I for one am tired of the back and forth. So this can teach her that other people want me, and I can move on, or she can stop with the drama and we stop breaking up every other week.”
You nodded. It sounded like a feasible plan, and you told him as much.
“So it’s agreed. We’re now together.”
“Not so fast, Jeon… I think we should have a backstory, get some things straight, set some rules.”
“Rules, Y/N? You sure know how to take the fun out of it.”
You rolled your eyes.
“When did we start dating?” you asked, ignoring his snide comment.
“We got together… at the beginning of the week. Somin and I broke up 2 weeks ago, though we didn’t make it public because she always does this shit...” he trailed off, before smiling back at you. “So yeah, let’s say we’ve been talking here and there everytime me and Somin would break up, and then we went on a couple dates during that first week we broke up and made it exclusive this week.”
You commit this to memory, then pull out your tablet and begin jotting it down with the stylus.
“Okay, so this is new, but we’ve been on each other’s radar for a bit. I think that’s believable, especially since we’ve known each other just as long as you and Somin have. How do you plan to make her jealous? It has to seem real, you know?”
“Trust me, she already thinks this is real,” he nods to his phone again, now at 28 unread messages from Somin, “so I think something that we can do is start arriving together. Maybe do little things for each other that are cute coupley things, be seen together. Kiss at work. Maybe I can sleep over a few nights or you at mine?” He winks at you.
“I thought you didn’t see me that way, Jeon.” You looked down at the tablet, furiously scribbling what he said in order to avoid looking at him and showing the way he caused your cheeks to warm.
“I said I wasn’t in love with you, babe, not that I wasn’t interested in sleeping with you again.”
“Yeah, well that’s off the table Jeon. This isn’t real.”
He just wagged his eyebrows at you seductively, but you laughed and moved on from it, reviewing the list you wrote out.
You made sure to underline number seven so he could see it easily.
“And when does this end?” You asked.
“Um, I don’t know. I guess we just play it by ear. Let it be natural. Obviously not too early or too late, and it should be mutual. I mean, if Somin learns her lesson, we would obviously have to end things, but I don’t see that happening sooner than a month.”
“Okay,” you tilt your head, thoughtfully, “So we can re-examine this in like a month then.”
“So is this like a contract or what?” he jokes. “Want me to sign it?”
“Sure,” you say, playing along and offering him the stylus. He took it from your hand and signed his signature, and then handed you back the pen, gesturing for you to sign as well. You followed suit, a quiet chuckle as you saved the page to your tablet’s files.
“Wanna drive me home, boyfriend?”
—
Dating Jungkook was… interesting, to say the least. You were a little surprised when he texted you the next morning asking what your coffee order was, and you weren’t expecting him to be so punctual when he pulled up to your apartment. But as you and Yuna exited the apartment that morning, he was already parked at the curb, music a little too loud for the early morning transit, but you were thankful nonetheless.
“Why are you taking us?” Yuna asked in her very blunt manner. She, of course, had heard of Jungkook, more so due to your falling out with Somin, but Jungkook took her question in stride.
“Because I’m dating your sister.”
He handed you an iced caramel latte with a soft smile that you couldn’t help but return. Jungkook looked stunningly handsome, hair floofed to your desired preference and an all black outfit to match. His pants were the perfect fit to his well-toned body and the black bomber jacket gave him a bad boy edge that was softened by his doe eyes.
Yuna coughed, choking on her strawberry flavored poptart as you turned to look out the window. Yuna, seated behind you, hit the back of your seat.
“You’re dating him? And you didn’t tell me?”
“I wanted to be sure it was going to work out this time… He and his ex used to be on and off a lot and I didn’t want to tell you if they got back together.” You answer, mixing the truth into it.
“Ohhhh, I see. You a player Jeon? Gonna break my sister’s heart?” Yuna eyed him, pupils narrowed as they stared at him.
He cleared his throat, not expecting to have to defend himself against the small pitbull in the backseat.
“Not planning on it, Yuna.” Jungkook reached over and took your hand into his large one, interlocking your fingers before he kissed the back of your hand sweetly as he released the brakes and pulled off.
Walking into the BigHit building, Jungkook held the door open for you before placing his hand in the back pocket of your black skinny jeans as you walked to the elevator. You wore a black knit sweater that fell slightly off the shoulder, and you knew it looked like you two had coordinated outfits. His other hand held the strap of the backpack he had slung over his shoulder while you clutched your coffee and your bag.
You started to walk off towards your office once you made it to your floor, but Jungkook’s hand on your ass pulled you back towards him. He leaned down to your ear, whispering quietly.
“Where are you off too in such a hurry?”
“Um, my office… why?”
“Come with me to mine first, let me drop off my bag and I'll walk you back.”
“Oh-kay?”
Letting his pocketed hand guide you, you fell in step with him down the hallway. You passed several other people, including Jin, an actor signed to the company who was known for his gossip, who nodded their hellos to Jungkook before ducking their heads together or reaching for their phones. It felt like high school all over again. Jungkook removed his hand from the warmth of your ass in order to open his office door, to which he then pulled you inside. Closing the door, he backed you into it rather loudly. The windows in the door are frosted, but you knew that pressed to it like this, anyone who looked could see your outline against it.
Jungkook pushed his body into yours, lips following suit as his hands found purchase on your hips. He kissed you languidly, the mint from his toothpaste clashed with your coffee, though not unpleasant. You kissed him back, enjoying the feel of his soft pout as it glided to your neck. He wasted no time in latching on, suckling your neck for a few seconds before he pulled away with a loud smacking noise.
“I must say, we put on quite the show this morning. My roommate was out there, and he will definitely have everyone talking about our PDA.” He grinned, eyes still glued to your neck. “Once that hickey sets in, it will really be the talk of the town.”
You blinked, finally coming back to your senses. Of course. This was all a part of the plan. Jungkook stepped away from you, moving to put away his belongings in his office. You stepped away from the door, looking around as you willed your body to cool down. That kiss had been quite an experience, and you yourself had gotten carried away with the plan.
Turning on the spot, you notice all the different camera equipment lining the walls, the beautiful still photography of various buildings throughout the city, but the most surprising was a photo from the first year you had all met. The picture had you, Jungkook, Somin, Jimin, and a few other friends in it; smiles wide as you stood at the fairgrounds you attended, ferris wheel lighting up the sky behind you. You walked towards it, taking in how carefree you looked, arms wrapped around Jungkook’s waist and his arms thrown over your and Somin’s shoulders, who was making the peace sign with both hands at her eyes. Jimin was making a silly face, arm wrapped around Somin’s waist. Simpler times.
You moved on, turning to the small polaroid camera and you couldn’t help but grab it. Turning, you snapped a photo of Jungkook, who was caught off guard. You took the developing film from the camera and set it down on his desk as he smiled at you.
“Hmm, that’s a good idea. Let me take a few photos of you, I can place them around my office.”
You tried to reject his idea, but he takes the photos anyways, pinching your cheeks and tickling you until he gets what he wants. Finally, 6 clicks later, he stood next to you, facing the camera to the two of you before he said your name softly. You looked up at him, and he surprised you with a kiss. That 7th click captured a kiss, and he placed that one in the back of his phone case.
“You are such a… a lover, Jeon.” You say, pointing at his phone. He shrugged, ignoring your jab.
“It’s something Somin always wanted me to do… I never did though. So seeing this will piss her off.”
You nodded, understanding. Everything he did had a purpose for getting at Somin in some way, shape, or form. You chided yourself that you would do well to remember that.
—
Lunch was a whole new ball game. Used to sitting with Namjoon and Jennie, or some of your assistants, you were now eating lunch with Jungkook, who ate in the employee cafeteria. You followed his request to meet him there and stood in the doorway lost until you heard his voice call out to you.
Noting his waving hand, you wove through the circular tables until you reached the one he was at with Jimin, Taehyung, Jin, and Yoongi, a producer friend that you knew through Namjoon.
All of the seats were taken, but before you could stand there looking out of place, Jungkook scooted his chair out and all but pulled you onto his lap. Wrapping his arms around your waist, he nuzzled into your neck, breathing in your clean scented perfume and strawberry shampoo.
“Get a room, JK.” Yoongi said, face contorted with a mock look of disgust.
“What? She’s just so cute and warm.” His fingers drifted towards the hem of your sweater and disappeared up into the material, cold fingers pressed against the soft skin of your belly and you shivered with a giggle, pushing his ice box hands away.
“You’re cold as fuck, Jesus Jeon! Were you hanging out in a freezer?”
“You could say that...” Taehyung laughed while elbowing Jimin, and you raised an eyebrow at them, wanting in on the joke, too.
“He was reviewing pictures with us and our managers.” Jimin clarified, and you nodded.
“I take it that Somin wasn’t very warm?” You asked, leaning more into Jungkook.
“Not at all,” Tae disclosed, “she was very icy, had a lot to say about our dear JK over here, didn’t she?”
“Nothing we haven't heard before.” Jimin answered, and the two laughed, but you didn’t find it all that funny. Hearing that Somin trash talked Jungkook to his friends while working didn’t sound like the kind of person anyone would want to date.
“Well she can talk shit all she wants, she’s just mad he’s moved on.” You defended, and are surprised to hear a quiet ‘thank you’ just for your ears as Jungkook tightened his hold briefly.
“I really dislike that girl,” Jin said, “I for one will be glad to not see her trashy ass around the apartment anymore. You are a breath of fresh air, Y/N.”
You smile shyly at Jin, enjoying how well everyone seemed to have welcomed you into their group.
“So, Y/N, we were just talking about the party Yoongi was throwing. He and Hobi live together, and they’re throwing a small rager this weekend. You’re coming with JK, right?”
Oh, this was not something you were expecting. You hadn’t gone to a party with co-workers in a long time…
“Um—”
“Of course she’ll be there, she’s coming with me. Right, babe?” Jungkook’s doe eyes looked up at you and you couldn’t say no. It’s not like you had plans anyways. You nodded and smiled at him, and he leaned into you, lips seeking yours in a quick kiss. You feel your body react to it, like it had been doing since this started, and pulled back before he could turn it X-rated.
“Okay, seriously you two, get a room.”
—
Standing in the mirror in your bedroom, you turned from side to side to take in your outfit. As a head wardrobe stylist, you had a pretty good sense of fashion, but liked to stick to basic pieces and blacks, dressing up your look with delicate jewelry or layered pieces.
Tonight was no different. With the beginnings of winter creeping in, you wanted to be comfortable in the weather once the sun set. You had on black sheer leggings that disappeared into a cute black skirt with thin white lines that had a revealing thigh split. Your top was an asymmetrical design, having one long sleeve and turning into a bandeau style on the other side. You paired it with black velvet boots that had crisp white laces, then finished the look with a matching set of simple dangling skinny diamond earrings, bracelet, and necklace.
Despite this thing with Jungkook being fake, you wanted him to still feel proud to showcase you on his arm at this party. People were already talking about the two of you, and tonight would fuel the gossip even more. You were nervous of course, knowing who typically attended these types of parties, but Jungkook had assured you that he would keep you safe tonight.
The polite knock on your bedroom door had you turn your head to the sound, a tossed “come in” over your shoulder to who you thought was Yuna, but revealed a very handsome looking Jungkook, who was in his typical all black attire. You stood there, body warming as you took in his height, broad shoulders, and long legs.
“Wow.”
His voice was low, but his eyes looked like they sparkled as he took you in.
“You don’t look too bad yourself, Jeon,” you responded, reaching to grab your bag off of your bed.
Jungkook snapped out of the daze he was in and pulled his phone out of his pocket.
“Let’s take a photo for the ‘gram.”
You nodded; for a second you thought he wanted to have a photo of you because you looked good. Posing in the mirror, he pulled you close by your waist and adjusted his phone to capture both of you in the frame. He took a few photos, switching poses slightly each time.
“Hey,” he said, gaining your attention. You turned to him, shocked when his lips met yours. You melt easily into the kiss, hearing the camera shutter click several times as you tangled tongues, his hand sliding from your waist to cup your butt and pull you closer. You were unable to stop the moan from his action, and when he pulled away, lips a bit fuller and pinker from kissing, he quirked his eyebrow at you, paired with his signature smirk.
“Y-You messed up my lip gloss,” you fake huffed, turning away from him to rummage through your bag to grab your gloss and reapply. Your attempt to avoid him from seeing the way he affected you didn’t go unnoticed, but Jungkook kept quiet on it.
“It was worth it, these pics are hot. Plus, you taste good. What flavor is that?”
“Strawberry,” you mumbled, still feeling the heat from the kiss warm your neck and face.
“Strawberry is slowly becoming my new favorite.”
—
Yoongi and Hobi knew how to throw a party. The music was playing at the perfect level that you could still hear people talking to you, a variety of alcoholic beverages were supplied in ample amounts, and several games were being held in various rooms of their home.
Currently, you were seated on the couch with a few other women from the office. Unfortunately, one of them was Somin. Across the room, your ‘boyfriend’ was engaged in a game of beer pong against Taehyung and Jimin. They had challenged him solo, citing he was good at everything and didn’t need a partner. As you watched him toss the small ping pong balls into the same cup, you knew their concern was right.
“Y/N, you and Jeon?” Seline, one of the girls seated next to you, asked suggestively.
“Yea,” you giggled, the cup of something or other making you a little... giggly.
“Color me a little surprised. He’s like, such a social butterfly, and you’re...”
“Oh, Y/N used to be a social butterfly, but she thought she was too good for us back in college.” Somin piped up.
Her statement caught you off guard. Somin was once your best friend, but when she started dating Jungkook, she had distanced herself from you, not the other way around.
“I never thought that. Some people act differently once they start dating people though. I never changed.” You sat back with a huff, crossing your arms. She ruined the buzz the alcohol had given you.
Seline leaned closer to you, interested to hear more. The other’s seated nearby also tuned in with interest.
“Oh, you knew them in college?”
You nodded, and Somin got up and walked away from the couch, seemingly annoyed at the attention you were getting for being Jungkook’s new girl.
You told the brief backstory of your friendship, leaving out the obvious part of losing virginities and finding out your best friend confessed to Jungkook when you were on your way to do the same thing, but ending it on good terms, saying that it was just the process of naturally growing apart.
Seline nodded, and you saw her eyes widen as she looked past you. Following her gaze, your eyes narrowed at the view. Somin was all over Jungkook. You weren’t exaggerating; both of her hands were holding on to him as if she was too drunk to maintain her balance. She was falling into his arms and he was holding her, one of his large hands pushing her hair back from her face and a look of concern etched upon his own.
Two feelings hit you at once. Nausea at the sight of him looking so tenderly at her, simultaneous with a boiling fury of jealousy that it wasn’t you.
“Looks like Somin wants him back.” Seline snickered towards the other girls, and you stood up abruptly. You made eye contact with Jimin, who’s eyes were unnaturally large as he registered the scene before him.
Jimin was relieved that Somin interrupted the end of the game so that he could escape before he had to drink more, but he also felt annoyed seeing her all over Jungkook. Jimin had been glad when Jungkook told him and Tae that he was done with Somin; even more glad when he heard that Jungkook started seeing you.
Back in college, Jimin was the only person, other than you and Jungkook, who knew what happened between you two. Both of you had confided in him your actions and feelings for one another. Color him surprised when he found out that Jungkook was not dating you, but instead your best friend, Somin. He wasn’t sure what happened but soon after, you stopped being around as much and Somin was around all the time.
Watching Somin pretend to be too drunk to function and fall all over Jungkook made Jimin purposefully search the room for you. Watching you stand, drink clutched in your hand, Jimin had a feeling something was about to happen.
The drink you were nursing was downed in its entirety within a single swallow. You were now several drinks in, and you were feeling the alcohol start to hit as you stood up fast. Pushing your shoulders back, you walked over towards your ‘boyfriend’, whose back was turned towards you, and slid your arm around his waist.
“Heyyy babe,” you leaned into his body, staking claim on Jungkook as you stared daggers at Somin. She had taken a few steps back when you had approached, but now, seeing the challenge in your eyes, she stepped closer once more.
“Ggukk-ah, I don’t feel so well...”
“Min,” Jungkook stepped out of your hold, hands moving to cup Somin’s face as she feigned weakness in her knees. The level of concern in his voice let you know exactly how he felt. You scoffed, not believing Jungkook would behave this way in front of everyone. He was the one who had came up with this idea for ‘mutual benefit’ and here he was fucking it all up.
“She’s fine, babe. She can handle her alcohol.” You felt yourself growing hotter, the alcohol actually having an effect on you, as it always had. Your increasing body temperature only made you more frustrated.
“Seriously Gguk, I’m getting so hot...” Somin reached for the hem of her shirt, and in one fell swoop she had exposed the lacey bra she wore underneath. You could hear people talking over the sound of the music, taking in the scene of a shirtless ex making a brazen show.
“Jungkook!” Your voice is no more than a harsh whisper, but he’s so scandalized at Somin’s action, the protective boyfriend in him coming out to aid in shielding her body from onlookers, he doesn’t hear you.
You hate the sick feeling bubbling in your stomach, unsure if it's from watching your ‘man’ flirt with his half naked ex or if it’s from the alcohol not sitting right with you.
Throwing the scene one last look, you turned on your heels and headed off to the kitchen for a bottle of water, or perhaps, another cup of something stronger.
Walking past him and Taehyung, Jimin caught sight of the look on your face before you blew past on your way towards the kitchen and he knew he should warn his friend.
“Jungkook, hey.. Jungkook!” Jimin yelled, his voice louder the second time he called his name.
Jungkook had been leaning towards Somin, hands cradling her face as he continued to speak quietly to her. When he looked up at Jimin, his face appeared slightly annoyed at the interruption as he was taking care of her.
“What, bro?”
“Um, your girlfriend? Y/N? She just went into the kitchen and she looked a little upset.” Jimin said, his face trying to communicate to Jungkook what it looked like that he was holding his ex that way and his new girlfriend had stormed off.
“Oh, for fuck’s sake. Jimin, can you?” Jungkook gestured his head towards the kitchen and Jimin thought his eyes were going to pop out of his head.
“How about I take Somin and you go find Y/N? Your girlfriend. Remember?”
Jungkook paused for a millisecond before depositing Somin into Jimin’s arms. He made his way to the kitchen, where he found you engaged in taking shots with Yoongi, Hoseok, and Jin, the latter of which was shit talking Somin with a smile. When you felt his presence enter the kitchen, you ignored him, gesturing for your now fourth shot in as many minutes.
Sensing the tension, Yoongi decided against more shots, instead leading Hobi and Jin out of the kitchen, much to Jin’s complaints of having to be around the ‘trashy tramp’. The three headed back to the party, a bottle tucked under Yoongi’s arm as Hobi carried the shot glasses out.
“We were enjoying our new friend, JK. Stop keeping her to yourself,” Jin said with a drunken glare.
Sighing audibly, you turned to walk out of the kitchen but Jungkook’s grasp on your wrist stopped you.
“Hey, why are you ignoring me like this?” He asked, confusion tinting his voice.
“Um, maybe because you’re supposed to be dating me and you were too busy with Somin to remember you even had a girlfriend.” You said back harshly, spitting the words at him with such vehemence you wobbled precariously on your heels.
“Come here.” Jungkook said, dragging you behind him through the bodies in the hallway until you had made it into one of the unoccupied back bedrooms. Shutting the door, he turned to you as he dragged his hand through his hair. The action only made him more handsome, tousled hair falling gently to frame his face.
“Look, it’s... complicated with Somin right now.”
“I get that you’re trying to teach her a lesson, see if you want to be with her or whatever, but not at my expense. You said mutually beneficial. Making me look like your second choice and embarrassing me does not benefit me.”
During your speech, you poked him in the chest several times, the alcohol starting to take its effect on you. Stumbling slightly, Jungkook caught you to steady you, keeping his hands on your waist. The warmness of his palms felt nice as he helped keep you balanced.
“You’re right, Y/N. I’m sorry. Like I said, it’s complicated. We dated for a long time. I still care for her. She’s... been making this difficult.”
“Oh? Difficult how? By faking being drunk so you can take care of her?”
“She’s a lightweight, that’s not fake,” he defended.
You were once close enough with Somin to know that she was not a lightweight, since she had been drinking at parties since she was 14; her earlier interaction was indeed, all an act.
“Whatever, Jungkook. So what is she doing that’s so difficult?” you asked, cutting him a look of narrowed eyes until he answered you.
He walked backwards, tugging you gently along until he was seated on the bed. You stood between his parted knees, waiting patiently for his answer. Realizing you weren’t going to drop it, he rubbed the back of his neck gingerly.
“She’s, you know.. She still texts me all the time, saying shit and sending pics and stuff. She says she wants me back, but I just,” he looked up at you, his doe eyes unable to hide his emotions.
“I don’t know if I believe it. I want to. But she’s hurt me, and I’m tired of it. I want her to feel how I felt.”
Your ire towards him faded as he opened up to you. Cupping his face gently, you leaned in and rubbed his nose with yours softly back and forth.
“You’re amazing Jungkook. Until tonight, you’ve treated me like a princess the entire week we’ve been dating. But she won’t learn if you give in. You’ve got me now, okay? When she texts you, text me instead. Don’t entertain her. She’ll think I’m not enough for you if you keep responding, and that doesn’t show her you can move on.”
You had sunk into him the whole time you talked to him, and he shifted your body so you were now straddled over his lap, head resting on his shoulder. You yawned sleepily, the loss of the anger leaving you feeling the tired effects of the alcohol. Unlike Somin, you were a lightweight, and 3 shots was over your limit.
As you got comfortable on Jungkook, he thought over what you said, smoothing your hair carefully.
“You’re right. You always were so smart in school... ” Jungkook said, and you nodded your head on his shoulder in agreement, humming an affirmative.
“Let’s get you home though, you’re halfway to passing out anyways.” Pulling out his phone, he ordered an Uber. He held you like that, your strawberry scent surrounding him until the Uber driver was outside. His hands gripping you under your thighs, he stood up and carried you out of the party, nodding bye to his friends and hosts of the party.
Placing you into the Uber, he climbed in after you and you curled into his lap, seeking his warmth in your drunken half-slumber. Jungkook chuckled, noticing the way his chest reacted to the action but ignored it. This was an arrangement, you seeking him out wasn’t real, and your anger earlier wasn’t jealousy, he told himself. You were worried about being embarrassed. He still loved and wanted to get back with Somin, right?
As he looked down at you in his lap, enjoying the weight of you pressed against his body, he wasn’t so sure.
“This the correct address, sir?” The Uber driver asked, verifying with Jungkook once he shut the SUV door.
“Yea, both of us are headed there.”
—
The weekend passed by fast. Waking up at Jungkook’s place Sunday morning had been a little shocking, but his bed was soft and clean, and smelled of him. You had snuggled deeper into the sheets until he woke you up to go get breakfast and get his car from Yoongi’s place. He detailed to you what had transpired to you being in his bed, expressed that he had not taken advantage of you, per rule number 7, plus the basic concept of consent, and promised to take you home as soon as Jin was awake and could take the two of you to go get his car.
He gave you some clothes to change into, and while you weren’t surprised to find he had jeans to fit you, neither one of you asked or shared the obvious: they were Somin’s. At least the shirt he gave you was his, and you also stole a hoodie to wear. December may have only just started a week ago, but the cold was pervasive.
Breakfast with him was fun. Getting to know Jungkook again was just as exhilarating as it had been the first time, during that first year at BHSMA. He had changed, but in a good way. More mature, but still playful. An adult who was a hotshot photographer, but still humble and considerate. How someone could be built like that and have such a big soft heart was beyond you.
The trip to get his car was slightly awkward, as Jin, Jungkook’s very nosy roommate, commented on how bad drunk sex must be with Jungkook if you were able to keep so quiet.
“Somin was always so loud, I swear she was exaggerating. No one’s dick is that good; sorry JK.”
Once Jin dropped the two of you off at Yoongi and Hobi’s, it ended up turning into hanging out with them for a bit, talking about work and your relationship with Jungkook. Hobi swooned with oohs and ahhs while Yoongi cringed, faking disgust at such a cute story, as was his trademark.
Jungkook apologized once the two of you escaped to his car, for both Jin being cringey, and for staying longer than anticipated with Yoongi and Hoseok, but you weren’t mad. You enjoyed meeting his friends and getting to know them. You were only a little concerned because Yoongi was also friends with Namjoon, who worked in the same department as him.
Jungkook turned to you before you climbed out of the car, not wanting to say goodbye just yet, but unable to think of a reason to get you to stay. Afterall, the relationship was fake.
“Hey, thanks for your advice last night.”
“Honestly, I barely remember what it was, but if it helped you, I’m glad.” You smiled at him, and he had to blink a few times to remember what else he wanted to say.
“So, um—I was thinking we could go on, like, a formal date Monday? After work? Monday should be a chill day. I know the comeback is planned for January, so going out sooner than later is best, right? Get it out of the way? That way we won’t forget, and we won’t be too busy with work to try and squeeze it in, and—”
Jungkook knew he was rambling, feeling nervous despite it being you, someone he had known for several years now. For fucks sake, he’s seen you naked. He felt his cock twitch and internally scolded himself. This was not the time for remembering the way you felt beneath him, the sweet sounds he had pulled from you as he learned your body, shared with you in giving each other your virginities.
When his cock twitched again, he took a deep breath and tried to focus on your answer.
“You okay, Jeon?” you asked, noticing he had zoned out slightly.
“Yeah... ” he responded, shifting as if uncomfortable.
“Well, I said I would love to go on a date with you. What did you have planned?”
“It’s a surprise. Just dress for the weather.”
You nodded thoughtfully, a small smile gracing your face as you gathered your purse and stepped back out of the doorway of his car to shut it. He rolled the window down, smiling back at you.
“Can’t wait,” you say, standing outside his car on the sidewalk through the rolled down window, waving your fingers at him cutely.
Jungkook’s signature smile spread across his face as he winked at you just before he pulled off, turning his music up loud as he whipped his Benz out of your complex.
—
Now sitting at your desk, you clicked through the selected shots that Jungkook emailed you of the photo shoot from last week as you reminisced on the weekend. You were supposed to be checking the outfits, detailing the different designers for the credits. But your thoughts kept drifting to Jungkook, and what should have easily been a 15 minute task took 45.
Finally sending the email, you stood to stretch when a loud knock announced a visitor. Walking to the frosted door of your office, you opened it and revealed a large bouquet of tiger lilies.
“Delivery for Y/N Y/L/N,” Kim, one of your assistants sing-songed as she walked into the room.
“Where did you get this? And why?” You searched the flowers until you found the card inside.
“I’m not supposed to give any details other than to read the note!” She pranced away, a smug smile on her face for knowing the secret you wanted to know.
Opening the envelope, a small polaroid fell out, fluttering to the ground. You picked it up, noting the image of a small park nearby. At the bottom, in Jungkook’s neat writing was a time. 2:30PM. Glancing at the clock, you see that the time listed is in roughly 15 minutes, so you gathered your purse, plucked a flower from the bouquet and headed out to meet Jungkook.
Walking into the elevator, Namjoon suddenly entered just before the doors shut, trapping you inside with him.
“Why are you avoiding me?” He asked. You studied him, momentarily at a loss for words at his ambush.
“Joonie, I—I’m not avoiding you. I’ve just been busy...”
“Too busy for your best friend? Jennie left me, and now I feel like I’m losing you too.”
Hearing his voice crack as he mentioned his ex hurts you more than you let him know. In all of the panic of the secret sex journal being released and fake dating Jungkook, you had forgotten what Namjoon had been going through.
“I promise, you’re not losing me, Joonie. You’re my best friend. I’m sorry that I haven’t been acting like it. I swear, I have been busy.”
“Yeah, busy going to parties with your new boyfriend. I saw him carrying your wasted ass out of Yoongi’s house.” Namjoon sounded a little irritated as he spoke.
“Listen, it’s complicated.. Can we talk about this later, please? It’s not a conversation for the elevator.”
“Okay, where are you going? I’ll go with you.” The doors opened and you both stepped out, Namjoon following you like a lifeline.
“Joonie, I—Look, I’m going on a date with Jungkook, I’m sorry!” you halted your steps and explained to him as a look of hurt flashed across his face.
“You know what? Forget it. Hit me up when you remember your best friend, if I’m even that.”
Namjoon walked away from you, ignoring you as you called after him. You sighed, giving up as he disappeared around a corner of the lobby, guests and coworkers looking at the exchange with interest.
You rubbed your temples and took a deep breath before braving the cold to walk to Ttukseom Park.
The walk was surprisingly pleasant. Despite the temperature, the sun was warm on your face whenever you were able to evade the shade along the sidewalk. It may have been the very beginnings of winter, but the scenery was anything but the cold melancholy you tended to associate with this time of the year.
The grass was vibrant still, and as you made it to the spot that matched the small photo you still had clutched in your hand, you noticed how the butterfly art installation along the wall of the J-Bug Cultural Complex glittered in the sunlight seeping in. Jungkook was seated on a bench right underneath the art with his trusty camera hanging from his neck, a picnic basket next to him.
“This is beautiful,” you said in awe, taking in the entire view. Jungkook followed your gaze, humming his agreement before picking up his camera. You heard the shutter of the camera several times. You looked over to him glancing at the small screen on the device before adjusting the lens and taking several more.
“Have you never seen this?” He said as he stood and grabbed the basket. You stood as well and followed him, falling into step beside him as he walked out from the shade and into the grassier area.
You shook your head no. “Don’t really have the time I guess. I’ve always wanted to explore the J-Bug though; Namjoon said the museums all along the Hangang are amazing.”
“I’ve taken photos at several of the murals nearby, they’re some of my favorite locations actually.” He smiled at you, and you can’t help the way your heart squeezes. He nodded his head to an area that had a decent amount of sunlight to combat the winter chill.
“Yea, I remember seeing some of them in your office. You’re really talented Kookie, I remember how passionate you were about photography even back then.” You helped spread the blanket he produced from the basket and once seated you leaned back on your palms, eyes closed.
Jungkook looked at you, taking in the way the midday sun made you glow, how pretty your lashes looked leaving shadows across your content cheeks. He couldn’t hold back the smile that took over his face upon hearing you use the endearment he hadn’t heard since that night so long ago.
“Ah, yeah, but my photography wasn’t that good then.”
“Stop being so humble, the photos you took were amazing, even then.”
You opened your eyes, catching him staring at you, and you felt yourself grow self-conscious.
“What? Is there something on my face?”
“Oh—uh, no sorry, it was just the sun—you know, lighting and all.” He gestured to his camera.
“Ah, I guess the talented eye never rests. Though I don’t know why you would want pictures of me,” you laughed and Jungkook tapped your knee in reproach.
“You’re a pretty good subject, don’t downplay yourself.”
You nodded, looking in the basket to hide the way your cheeks had warmed at his comment.
“Seriously, Y/N, I used to want to take photos of you all the time back then... you should’ve seen my camera roll. It was embarrassing. Jimin used to tease me all the time.” Jungkook helped you set up his small spread of food and you used the meal as a distraction.
“Ooh, did you prepare all of this?”
“Ah, some of it,” he rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly. “I had some help from Jin hyung.”
“It smells delicious.” You took the proffered chopsticks from his large hand and dug into the bowl of japchae before placing it on your rice to gather for one bite; Jungkook followed suit.
The rest of the lunch date went incredibly well. Jungkook was just like you remembered him to be, except he was more filled out, and a little taller with a jawline that could cut glass. But his humor, his compassion, his deep thoughts that led you to fall for him all those years ago were still painfully there. Spending more time with him one on one did nothing but show you that the feelings you once had for him were still easily accessible.
As he led you back to the office, his hand swinging yours between your bodies, you couldn’t help but wish this was real. How nice it would be to just pretend that Jungkook really was yours, allow those creeping feelings to spread like spring, blooming across your chest until it was vibrant and unforgettable. You couldn’t imagine what it would be like after; after when you were single again and Jungkook had either gotten back with Somin or moved on to someone else.
“What are you thinking about?” Jungkook squeezed your hand. You hadn’t even noticed that you were not only back at the office, but standing at the door to your locked office.
“Oh, sorry. Honestly, that lunch date was just so nice… It felt good to get out and do something different for a change.”
“Oh, well yea, I remembered you used to like stuff like this, I figured you probably still did.”
You nodded, hope blooming.
“Take a look at this post, let me know if it’s okay.”
He handed you his phone, and you admired the way he had caught you off guard, a photo that looked like it could be moving, the way your hair frames your face as you looked longingly off into the distance. The caption was simple. “It’s not about where you go or what you have, it’s about who you’re with along the way.”
“It’s perfect.”
“Okay, post it then. And post a few more pics of me on your page too? I’ve been posting and tagging you...”
If you didn’t know any better, you would think that Jungkook sounded… upset? You nodded as you clicked the post button, and as it loaded, the phone vibrated in your hand. Thinking it was a like or a comment on the image of you, you glanced at it. His phone had locked by this time, and instead of seeing notifications for Instagram, you saw a message notification instead.
Handing him back his phone, you push down that blooming sensation. It would be foolish to think Jungkook was upset that you hadn’t posted him as much as he had posted you. Clearly he must’ve spent time with Somin after he dropped you off yesterday.
“You got a message. Umm, I’m gonna finish up here and then head home, you don’t need to wait for me. See you tomorrow?”
You wanted to get away from him desperately. Jungkook looked at you, confused at your sudden shift in mood.
“I thought I was driving you home? Jin said he was staying out late tonight, I figured we could hang out for a few—”
“We’ll see! There’s still so much to do for the album release.” You leaned up and kissed his cheek chastely before unlocking your office door and all but disappeared inside of it.
Jungkook stood there, staring at your closed door for a few more seconds before he felt his phone buzz in his hand. Checking his notifications, he saw a series of texts from Somin.
Looking around confused, he noticed Somin standing across the office area, a deadly smirk on her face as she waved her phone at Jungkook. All Jungkook could do was sigh. Somin wouldn’t leave him alone long enough to sort out his thoughts, and now she was sending purposefully misleading texts? Jungkook didn’t know how to explain to you that what you saw was untrue.
You clearly believed it.
—
Jungkook gave you two days of space before he decided to track you down. He always hated that Somin would know he was upset (typically because it was her fault) and immediately pounce on him, forcing her company upon him and not allowing him the ability to forgive and move on. He wanted to give you that time, so after two days, Jungkook felt that it had been long enough, and the two of you should reconcile whatever misunderstanding there had been.
You posted a photo with him yesterday, and from the caption you wrote it appeared like you had a fun time with him on Monday despite the way you left him standing at your office door.
The image you posted on your Instagram with Jungkook was a candid shot; he hadn’t realized you had taken a photo. While it brought about that warm feeling in his chest seeing the photo appear in his feed, it didn’t clearly depict his face.
Instead, the focus was on your fingers intertwined. Jungkook’s profile could be seen, blurred from lack of focus, but it matched the caption you had chosen so well. “Even if someone shakes this world, please don’t ever let go of this hand you’re holding...”
Motivated, Jungkook made sure to be bright and early at your door ready to drive you and your sister.
You weren’t expecting to see the flashy Benz outside of your apartment. Yuna was excited to not have to take public transportation, leaving you behind as she all but ran to the passenger rear door.
“Morning JK! We missed you these past few days.”
“Ah, sorry about that, I had to be at the office way earlier; didn’t want to make you guys wake up even earlier than you already do.”
Yuna waves off the apology and you finally followed; feet moving across the pavement until you’ve climbed into the car and buckled your seatbelt.
“Morning princess,” Jungkook says, leaning towards you and pecking your lips. You were caught off guard, not expecting him to be so lovey, but you returned the kiss, a double peck that you started and continued on as the traditional way you greeted each other.
“Morning.”
“Didn’t sleep well?”
“Yea, been a bit out of it these past few days...” You trailed off, not wanting to talk about it in front of Yuna. Catching on, Jungkook turns up the music and shifts into drive, pulling off towards the University for Yuna.
The drive to the office isn’t too long from the school, so once Yuna was out, Jungkook wasted no time in asking you to talk.
“So, can we talk about Somin?”
You huffed out a sigh. It was too early in the morning to deal with the Somin issue, but you nodded, allowing Jungkook to breach the topic.
“I know you saw her message. I want you to know that nothing happened. She sent that text because she saw us. She was doing the same bullshit she always does, part of the reason I don’t think she’s learned anything yet, like you said.”
You nodded, still not sure what to believe. He had no reason to lie to you, it’s not like you were actually in a relationship. He could go back to Somin anytime.
“I hate that you’re mad at me.”
You turned your body towards him.
“I—Look, I’m not mad, okay? Not at you. I just hate that Somin gets under my skin so much. That she’s a bitch to you. Neither of us deserve it, especially you.”
Jungkook reached over, encasing your hand in his.
“I’m learning that now. We’ve been together so long, I never noticed at first what she was doing. But I think subconsciously, it was making me resent her. And you really said some shit that had me thinking. And you’re right. I—I’m really glad to have you back in my life, Y/N. Having you in my corner has made all the difference.”
You looked down, eyes staring at the tattooed hand to hide the warmth on your face.
“After work, come over. Let me buy us dinner and we can hang out.” You felt his smile as he stared at you while pausing at the red light before your office, and you met his gaze.
“Okay.”
“Good, we need to make Jin believe we’re having hot, loud sex, since rule 7 prevents you from experiencing the real thing.”
He let out a shout of pain as you punched his shoulder.
—
Walking to get food was not the smartest idea for 3 reasons. First, because neither of you checked the weather. Second, due to number one, neither of you had an umbrella. So naturally, third, running in the rain while carrying takeout was almost a disaster.
And still, the two of you laughed the entire way, bag clutched in one arm while your fingers were intertwined between your sprinting bodies, one block left to get to Jungkook’s apartment. By the time he’s unlocked the door, you're both sopping wet, rain water dripping onto the floor of the entryway to the apartment. After getting the food situated to stay warm while you guys got cleaned up, Jungkook gave you a towel and led you to his bathroom.
You appreciated that he was such a clean guy, his apartment and subsequently, the bathroom was pristine, and he actually had a trashcan and stocked toilet paper, unlike some men you knew. He planted folded clothes for you to change into on top of the sink counter, and surprised you with a kiss.
“What was that for?” You asked, dazed.
“Practice.” He said with a wink, and he backed away, closing the door as he left you alone.
—
While Jungkook showered, you heated up the food, your mostly dried hair now up in a messy bun as you danced around his kitchen. His sweats were a little (a lot) too long, so you had rolled them up so you could avoid tripping.
A knock at the door made you jump, before you moonwalked over to the entryway, now clean of the rain water the two of you had trudged in. Thinking it was Jin, you didn’t check to see who it was and opened the door. You froze as you took in a young man that was not your ‘boyfriend’s’ broad shouldered roommate. Instead, doe-eyes similar to the man currently naked in the shower stared back at you.
“Oh, hey… I thought my brother lived here. Sorry about that!” The man stepped back, checking the number on the apartment again before his eyes landed on your shirt—or rather, his brother’s shirt.
“You’re not Somin...”
“Hi, and no, I’m not,” you laughed, “um, but this is Jungkook’s apartment.”
“Ahh, okay. I’m JungHyun. His older brother.”
“Oh! Come in!” You stepped back so that he could walk past you, and you led him into the living room once he had shed his shoes.
“Oh, did I interrupt dinner?”
“Oh, no we haven’t even started eating yet. No worries.”
The two of you sat down, and you tucked your feet up under your bottom, turning to face Jungkook’s older brother.
“So, I know who you’re not...”
“Oh, fuck, manners.” The look on your face is sheepish, and you smiled to cover your nerves. “I’m Y/N, Kookie’s girlfriend.”
“Oh, you’re the famous Y/N! Finally got you, did he?”
His words confused you, Jungkook had been with Somin since forever, when had he ever wanted you? Smiling to cover your confusion, you’re saved when Jungkook appears in the hallway, a loud laugh as he barreled over to his brother and all but jumped on the man.
“Hyung! What are you doing here?!”
“Oh, I finished that project at work early, so I’m headed to visit mom and dad. Staying with them through Christmas before the next contract at work starts.”
“Ah, it’s good to see you!”
Jungkook’s enthusiasm is abundant; it’s clear he loves his brother dearly and misses him. He pulled back from a hug and sat comfortably in the space between you and JungHyun, his palm resting lightly on your leg absentmindedly.
“So, I’ve met your new girlfriend. I must say you didn’t do her justice when you described her to me.”
You felt the blush creep across your face, and Jungkook also seemed to turn red, his fingers rubbing at the skin on his neck.
“Yea, seeing her in person is best.” He says awkwardly, and you can’t help but laugh.
“So? Does dad know? Mom is gonna be so excited. She hated Somin.”
“What?” Jungkook says at the same time that you say “Really?”
JungHyun nodded, sitting back into the couch comfortably.
“Yea, no offense, lil bro, but Somin was a bitch. Mom thought she was so fake.”
“Wh-why didn’t you guys ever say anything?”
“Eh, you know, cause you were in love or whatever.”
You get up and go to the kitchen, grabbing bowls and the last of the heated food, hoping to avoid being present for this part of their conversation, but still curious all the same.
“Definitely not.”
“Mmhmm, sure.”
“Seriously. I wasn’t actually in love. Or if I was, it faded. I think for a lot of it I was just… dependent or whatever. I thought it was love, sure. But it wasn’t; I know that now.”
“Ah, so Y/N showed you what love is?”
“She definitely cares more about me and my happiness than Somin ever has.”
You cleared your throat as you walked back into the living room.
“Ready to eat?”
Dinner with Jungkook and JungHyun is, in so many words, fun. They bantered and joked and you spend the time eating and laughing, enjoying your time with the brothers. You didn't even realize how late it had gotten, not until Jin waltzed into the apartment, noting the late hour for you all to be chatting so loud.
“Shit, Yuna messaged me an hour ago.”
“Just stay here. We can pick Yuna up in the morning when you go home to change.”
“Are you sure? Your brother’s visiting, I don’t want to be in the way.”
“Y/N, don’t worry, I’ll take the couch. I was going to anyway.” JungHyun smiled at you, and you nodded back. Standing up, you stretched, not realizing how tired you were. Jungkook took the opportunity to tickle your exposed sides, and you squealed, causing the brothers to laugh as you squirmed away from Jungkook, who didn’t let you get far.
“Let’s get you to bed, princess.”
Turning in Jungkook’s arms, you looked over his shoulder at his brother.
“Good night, oppa.”
Jungkook stiffened as JungHyun and Jin laughed, enjoying the way the youngest one reacted to your words.
“Ah, if it doesn’t work out between you two, hit me up.”
“Hyung!” Jungkook glared at his brother, not enjoying the joke.
“What? At least she wouldn’t need to meet our parents twice! She is coming for Christmas, right?”
The two of you looked at each other, a little thrown off by the question. The holidays were coming up, but you hadn’t discussed this far into the relationship. It wasn’t real after all, did you have to go through such lengths to teach Somin a lesson?
“I haven’t told mom and dad yet about her...”
“No worries, I text them ages ago. They’re expecting her for Christmas.”
Jungkook sighed, dropping his forehead to yours, so all you could see was his eyes staring into yours.
“Is this okay? Do you wanna, you know? Meet my parents?” Jungkook’s voice was low as he whispered the question.
“I—Yes.”
The look on his face when you agreed was beautiful, a scrunched-nose smile that is reminiscent of a bunny. You couldn’t help but smile back, lost in the mahogany of his eyes.
“Are you guys over there kissing when I’m waiting for an answer?” JungHyun broke the tension filling the air between you and his brother.
Jungkook smirked before capturing your lips with his own, a breathless kiss that lasted only a couple seconds before he pulled away to smirk at his brother.
“You can tell mom and dad I’ll be bringing her home for Christmas.” With those words, Jungkook whisked you down the hall and tucked you into his bed before climbing in behind you. Wrapping his arm around your waist, he pulled you closer to him. His hands skimmed your body before he began tickling you again, a squeal leaving your mouth. You retaliated, hands attempting to tickle him before he pinned you to the bed, and the two of you began to wrestle for a bit.
You were unaware of how sexual the wrestling sounded; his headboard hitting the wall roughly and the two of you grunting and groaning as you fought for dominance, some added squeals and moans when Jungkook decided it was a good idea to bite you in his quest for submission. Finally winded, you gave in, laying back on the mattress in defeat. Jungkook tugged at your sweatpants, removing them swiftly and throwing them onto the floor, his own joining the pile. He then grasped your face, peppering it with kisses.
You were about to ask him what he was doing, when someone knocked. Jungkook called out a ‘come in’ and his brother walked into the bedroom, his sights set on the bathroom.
“Don’t mind me, just gonna wash up before bed. It seemed safe to enter now.”
He disappeared into the bathroom as Jungkook continued to hold you, affectionate even after his brother was out of sight. Even if this relationship was fake, you could pretend in this moment that it was real, that Jungkook pulled you closer, not to fool his brother, but because he wanted to be close to you, that he was falling in love with you.
For one night, it should be okay to pretend it was something more, right?
—
The next two weeks passed by in a blur. Namjoon had basically confined himself to his studio at work, intent on avoiding you. Seeing you hand in hand with Jungkook seemed to bother him, and because you couldn’t tell him the truth (or wouldn’t), you left him to his own assumptions. He ignored all of your texts attempting to reach out to him, despite him saying he wanted you to let him know when you had time for him. This just made you more frustrated, and you were done trying to chase Namjoon, romantically or otherwise. When he was ready to behave like an adult, you would be willing to talk to him.
After telling Yuna about how you were asked to go home with Jungkook and meet his family, you received a call from your own parents. Yuna had told them about Jungkook, and you were bombarded with questions until you too agreed to bring Jungkook home.
It took some discussing, but it was finally decided: the 23rd and Christmas Eve would be with your family, and Christmas Day and the 26th would be with Jungkook’s. You were a little worried that the parents would be able to see through your ruse, despite having fooled everybody else at work, but Jungkook assured you that it would be easy enough to trick his parents.
On the train ride to Daegu, you sat a few rows away from your sister, who had her headphones in as she watched the latest K-Drama she missed due to her busy school schedule. The ‘arriving soon’ message plays throughout the cabins of the KTX, and you figure it’s important to bring up your parents.
Turning to Jungkook, who was drawing on his iPad, you removed an airpod from your ear, pausing the music. You take a moment and admire his face, the way his jawline was so angular, the sharp planes of his cheekbones, the concentration held in his eyes.
“Like what you see?” Jungkook’s voice is teasing, but you still felt embarrassed at being caught staring at him.
“I just think we should talk about the next 2 days.”
“Y/N, listen. Parents love me. Despite the tattoos and long hair.”
“Cause you’ve met so many parents? You’ve been dating Somin since we were 20.”
“My friends have parents too, you know. Don’t worry. Just be like we always are and it’ll be fine.”
“Your parents may be easy to trick, but mine? They’re a bit more… scrutinizing. Plus, they’ve heard me talk about Namjoon, and probably don’t remember me talking about you...” you trailed off, a slight warmth subtly coloring your cheeks.
“So you used to talk about me?”
“Well, yea, first year, you know? I had a crush on you, so my mom heard all about it. Not about—you know, but I told her I thought we might date.” You buried your nose in your phone to avoid looking at Jungkook.
“You know, you never told me why you nev—”
Jungkook’s words were cut off by an attendant walking through the aisle, asking everyone to start packing up their belongings as the train would be pulling into the DongDaegu Station momentarily.
“My dad should be here to pick us up—Yuna!” Your sister turned to you, a smile on her face as she waved her phone.
“Dad’s here!”
The drive to the house was short, and you spent most of the time taking turns with Yuna filling in your dad on your life in Seoul. Your mom was busy in the kitchen when you arrived, and she shooed you all upstairs to your rooms. Unsurprisingly, your parents were having you and Yuna share her room while Jungkook would be across the hall in your room.
Your parents were more conservative, and while you were an adult and perfectly able to do as you pleased in Seoul, while under their roof, they wanted to make sure that you remained as pure as they could keep you.
Dinner that first night went well. Jungook and your dad bonded over sports, despite Jungkook not playing any team sports, he was still well-versed on the topic and joined your dad in watching a basketball game while you, Yuna, and your mom cleaned up after dinner and then sat in the sewing room.
Your mom asked you all about Jungkook, which she surprisingly did remember you talking about. It seemed you had her and your father fooled, but while you sat at her embroidery machine, she shared she was confused about the lack of presents you had for each other to open tomorrow night. Saying it was because you still had to wrap them and she would find them under the tree tomorrow was an easy enough excuse, and paired with a very real yawn, you excused yourself to get ready for bed.
Sleeping with Yuna was uncomfortable; she was a wild sleeper. Restlessness won over sleep, so you got out of bed and made your way downstairs to grab a bottle of water from the kitchen. Your parents were already in bed in their first floor room on the other side of the house from the kitchen and the stairs.
When you returned back upstairs, you noticed the light on in your bedroom, so you knocked softly.
“Come in,” Jungkook’s voice was subdued, and you pushed the door open gently.
“Hey,” you said, eyeing Jungkook’s lean, topless form as he sat at the edge of the bed. You never tired of the view when you would sleep over at his place.
“Can’t sleep?”
“Yea, Yuna isn’t the best person to sleep next to, flops around all night, hogs the sheets.”
You walk into the room, joining him on the bed. He’s swiping through images from the SeoulM8 shoots he’s recently done. You watched his finger move across the iPad leisurely.
“Ahh, sounds like you miss sleeping next to me.”
You scoffed, shoulder bumping into his.
“You snore a bit. And your body temperature runs pretty hot. I wake up sweating half the time.”
“Ah, not the first time I’ve made you sweat, love.”
You raise your eyebrow at his insinuation of your loss of virginity.
“Kidding, babe,” he jokes, locking his iPad and setting it down to charge on the bedside table.
“Can we go into town tomorrow? I want to do some last minute shopping.”
“Sure.” Jungkook yawned and you took that as your cue to leave so he could get some sleep after your journey across the country.
“Where ya going? I thought you couldn't fall asleep with Yuna?”
Jungkook pulled the covers back, making space for you to climb in in front of him.
“Well, yes, but my parents—”
“Sleep downstairs and wholly expect us to pretend to sleep apart but know that you’re going to sneak in here anyways because we’re madly in love.”
You had to cover your mouth to keep from laughing loudly.
“And how do you know that?”
Jungkook smirked, still waiting for you to get into bed.
“You’re dad told me. He also said we need to give him grandchildren, sooner rather than later.”
Stunned silent, Jungkook leaned forward and grabbed your wrist, pulling you towards him. He turned off the light and you climbed in over him, keeping him at the front just in case.
“C’mere,” he rolled over and pulled you to his chest, snuggling into you as he got comfortable. “We have to look madly in love. No funny business though. I know you think I’m irresistible, but we are in your parents house and must be respectful.”
You elbowed him in the rib, and settled into the comforting darkness of your childhood bedroom with Jungkook’s arm wound around your waist, holding you close.
——
Christmas Eve, in your family, is the night that presents are opened. As a child, this tradition was done in order to make room under the tree for Santa’s presents. As adults, your parents keep the tradition alive, instead putting stockings with 1 or 2 of the more expensive gifts for you to have on Christmas morning.
After shopping in town and spending time wrapping, you had finally placed a few gifts for Jungkook under the tree that Yuna was now passing out. You were surprised to see a couple gifts for you from Jungkook in the small pile you amassed, and when you caught his eye, he winked at you.
Yuna opened her gifts first, then you and Jungkook, where you saw that he gave you a matching jewelry set: necklace and earrings in a soft rose gold, a small cherry blossom bloom dangling from the small hoop of the earrings and from a small hoop on the necklace. It reminded you of your date at the park. The two of you sat under the winter sakura tree that day, the only blossoms that bloom twice a year, where you told him how much you loved cherry blossoms in passing.
“It’s beautiful, Jungkook.” You almost can’t believe it, but he just smiles softly at your gratitude and helps put the necklace on you. Your parents looked happy, enjoying seeing their daughter so happy. Jungkook was excited to see what you had gotten him; a special lens for his camera that he had talked on and on about purchasing soon. He was giddy, running upstairs to grab his camera, testing out the new lens on pictures of you and your family.
Once again, you found yourself in your old room, curled up with Jungkook, but this time you were unable to sleep. Rolling over, you faced Jungkook, who cracked one eye and peeked at you.
“What’s wrong, babe?” he asked, voice laced with sleep. You noticed how easily the endearment rolled off his tongue even with no one around to convince.
“I—the gift you got me,” your fingers fidgeted with the small cherry blossom on the necklace. “I hope it didn’t cost too much. You can return it once we break up if you need to.”
“Y/N, that gift is for you. For being such a great… friend. Helping me do this. I really think it’s working.”
“You deserve to be happy Jungkook. I’m glad you were able to get space long enough to work out how you feel, and that you’re working your way to being happier.”
“Yea, I think I’ve been much happier lately...”
You watched his tongue run along his lips, and you couldn’t help but train your eyes on the movement. He caught your eyes, his hands gripped you a bit tighter as the tension in the dark room grew.
“...much happier...”
You weren’t sure who moved first, you or Jungkook, but at that point, it didn’t really matter. The way your lips sought his, the way his hands pulled you closer, the two of you were acting on instinct. This kiss wasn’t for practice or for show, who was to know what happened here, in this room tonight, but the two of you?
You let out a moan as he dipped his head lower, tracing kisses from your neck to what was exposed of your collarbone. His touch is impatient, tugging and kneading, unable to stay still on your body. His scent alone, a musky vanilla scent, engulfed your senses and you wanted… more.
You threw your leg over his body, turning the two of you until you’re straddled on top of him, able to press your core down onto his very firm cock. His boxers and your sleep shorts are the only things holding it back from assaulting you, and you’re annoyed that they’re in the way. Reaching down, you slide your hand roughly into the waistline of the boxers, fingers gripping him.
Jungkook groaned into your neck, the feel of your hand as you palm him building the craving he had for you. He wanted you. Not just physically. But you had those stupid rules, and he couldn’t just break them. He respected you more than that, and falling in love with you? Well that wasn’t part of the plan.
Jungkook slows the way he’s kissing you, slows the way he was thrusting into your hand and pushes you gently off of him and back to your side of the bed. You’re both panting, barely able to catch your breath as he pulled your back to his chest and held you close.
“We’ve got a long trip tomorrow morning to Busan, babe. Let’s get some sleep.”
“Oh… okay?” You were so confused. You had never been turned down before, especially not when you were so far into the act, practically ready to pull your panties to the side and ease him into you. You were throbbing, body aching with want, and you knew he was too; could feel the hardness as it nestled in the dip between your cheeks.
You felt him kiss your head, followed by a soft double peck to your neck, and not 10 minutes later his breathing slowed as he drifted off to sleep.
You, on the other hand, laid awake, thoughts running wild.
——
Christmas morning you had an early breakfast with your family before opening stockings. Your parents had only a couple of weeks to prepare for Jungkook, but they had prepared a stocking for him as well; your mom embroidering his name onto it and stuffing it full to the brim.
You were surprised at the gifts; a couple boxes of polaroid film, a bag of banana kick chips, individually packaged egg snacks, and colorful candy canes. Yours were similar as well, a small collection of sewing items for designing, and your favorite snacks. Your mom ruffled Jungkook’s sleepy-head hair as he offered his thanks to your parents, and you couldn’t help but feel your heart swoon at the sight. You realized something heartbreaking at that moment: breaking up with Jungkook once this was over would hurt more than just you.
Heading to Jungkook’s parents house was a different experience after the previous night. Yuna had obviously stayed with your parents, and would be catching the train back the same day you left Busan.
This was the first time the two of you had been alone since the rejection the night before, and you were doing your best to ignore the hurt feeling that would bloom every time you caught yourself dwelling on it. You focused on your phone instead, posting a few photos on Instagram so that you were sticking to your end of the deal. Somin would see these posts some way or another, and it would hopefully do what it was intended to.
Jungkook didn’t seem to think twice about the rejection, wrapping his arm around your shoulder and treating you like you were really together, a true couple going to meet his parents for the first time.
“Nervous?”
“A little. I’ll be meeting your parents, and we’re not really together,” you looked down at your hands, missing the way Jungkook’s face fell for a few seconds before working it’s way back to a smile, though it didn't quite reach his eyes.
“I think we’re together enough where it counts. No one watching us would doubt it,” he intertwined your fingers and gave it an encouraging squeeze, “sometimes even I forget you’re not my real girlfriend.” He laughed, and the sound leaves an ache in your chest.
“Same, haha...” You looked out the window of the KTX, ready to breathe the fresh air of the nearby sea. Jungkook released your hand and you both went back to your tasks, Jungkook reading emails and you sketching designs for work.
Jungkook’s parents treated you much like yours had treated Jungkook. Like you were the greatest thing to happen to their child.
“Y/N, you’re so pretty! Oh, thank heavens, we have a chance at cute grandchildren now.” Jungkook’s mom bowed her head in thanks to a higher power, and you couldn’t help feeling a little bad that you weren’t actually dating Jungkook. You would have liked to deserve the praise she was giving you.
“He looks so much happier, happier than we’ve seen him in a long time.” She smiled at his father and their eyes, so similar to their two sons, crinkled in the corners. JungHyun greeted you with a hug, and you reciprocated it.
“Hi, Oppa,” you teased, and Jungkook glared at you.
“Yah! That’s Jeon JungHyun to you,” he leaned closer to your ear in a mock whisper, “only I get called Oppa.”
JungHyun cringed back in mock disgust.
“I do not need to know about your ‘Oppa kink’ in the bedroom.” He shivered as he walked back to the living room, where he put away his laptop to make space for gifts.
Their dad, who you were very glad had not heard his eldest son’s comment, gestured to you to leave your suitcases in the entryway and come sit down.
“Kookie, pass out the gifts please. Your mom has been waiting all morning in excitement for you two to get here. We can have lunch after you guys get situated.”
Jungkook, ever the dutiful youngest son, began to distribute gifts amongst you all, while you handed your own gifts that you had gotten for his family out to them.
“You didn’t have to get them anything,” Jungkook whispered as he dropped a gift off for you from his own parents.
You gave him a pointed look, gesturing subtly to the gift.
“I did.”
He shook his head with a smile and continued until the space under the tree was empty.
“So, we just open them all at the same time! Save your thanks for the end, ready?” His dad looked at you, and you nodded.
“Let’s get it!” Jungkook shouted, and everyone laughed at his phrase as you began to open your gifts. You didn’t have many, one from his parents and JungHyun, and 2 from Jungkook. His family had given you a Pantone Color Swatch book that was easy to carry around, to help while on set working. It was very thoughtful, and you knew it could not have been cheap. You bowed deeply, on your knees and forehead to their floor as a show of your gratitude and respect.
They motioned for you to sit back up, waving off your thanks as if it was no big deal for them to get this gift for you. You turned to Jungkook’s gift, eyes already threatening tears at their sincere treatment of you, and once opened, you did cry.
Nestled inside a satin lined box was a beautiful set of Dwikkoji, traditional hair pins, that came with a small card identifying them as from the Joseon era.
“Jungkook!” you gasped, sure that they couldn’t be real.
“Don’t worry. I didn’t have to pay for them. But they would look much better displayed in your office as our head fashionista then collecting dust in storage.”
You couldn’t hold back your feelings any longer. Acting on instinct, you tugged him towards you, wrapping your arms under his own and around his frame as you let your tears fall.
“They’re beautiful, Kookie.”
Jungkook reciprocated your embrace, his hand smoothing down your hair as his parents smiled at the scene in front of them.
“Ah, young love, remember when that was us?”
—
Unlike your parents, who wanted to pretend that the two of you were a modest young couple, Jungkook’s parents assumed that the two of you would room together. His dad had clapped him on his shoulder and congratulated him on bringing home such a fine woman. Apparently in the two weeks that JungHyun had been home, he had raved about you to his parents, showing pictures from your social media accounts of the two of you together, as well as your fashion talent. Jungkook too had talked on the phone to his parents, you came to find out, which was why his parents were so enthralled by you, despite only dating Jungkook for a short time.
Lunch was fun. Spending time with the Jeons was full of laughter. His family was like him, generous and kind hearted, and you enjoyed spending time with his mom in the kitchen making cookies for dessert.
That night you went out for a drive to look at Christmas lights, before you all stopped off at the town center where they had outdoor ice skating set up. Jungkook had his camera with the new personalized strap you made him (yay fashion classes!) around his neck, taking photos of you and his family as you glided across the frozen water. You spent an hour there before heading home to warm up with hot cocoa and Christmas movies. You found out that this was their tradition every year, and it made you happy to know they wanted to share it with you. Even if it was only for this one Christmas.
Having showered first, you traveled down the hall to get water from the kitchen while you waited for Jungkook to finish his. His family had a one level house; His parents’ room was located on one side of the living room and kitchen, while Jungkook and his brother’s room was on the other side.
You heard his parents talking at the table and you slowed down, resting the back of your head on the wall as you heard them say your name.
“Oh, honey, Y/N is so darling! I haven’t seen him this happy in years.”
“He looks so in love with her.”
“Well, remember, he used to have the biggest crush on her.”
“But that was years ago. They were what, 20? And somehow he chose Somin?”
“Sometimes, people aren't ready. Now, they’re older. Better chances of them working out. Oh, honey, I hope they work out. She would be such a cute daughter in law.”
“I know, but don’t pressure them. Let them realize how in love with each other they are on their own.”
“Do you think she loves him too?”
“I don’t have a single doubt in my mind. I saw the way they were together.They’re in love, whether they realize it or not.”
“Ahh, so we could have grandchildren soon? JungHyun seems like he’s never going to settle down... ”
“Aish, grandchildren? I’m too young to be a grandpa!”
Instead of interrupting them, you headed back to his room, mind racing with their words. Jungkook had a crush on you? They thought the two of you were in love? Daughter in law? Jungkook chose that moment to come into the room, towel wrapped low around his waist as he checked his phone and you couldn’t look away.
“You’re starting to drool there, babe.”
You swallowed and looked away, grabbing your hair and running your fingers through it to put it into a bun on your head.
“I just uh—I wanted to talk to you about the contract.”
Jungkook, who was facing his dresser where his suitcase was opened up, froze. His eyes sought yours in the mirror, his reflection giving away nothing.
“Oh? What, uh, what about it?”
“Well, our parents seem to like us together, I mean, they’re talking about grandkids, and well, I would hate to break up so soon after having met them. I know this was only supposed to go on until you figured out what to do about Somin, but if it’s alright with you,” you look away, twisting your fingers in nervousness, “I would like for us to continue to date.”
Jungkook’s mind was racing. He understood what you meant. Your parents seemed to love him, discussing future visits for the holidays and his family had been no different. And thinking about ending the contract? Well, he had already been thinking about doing that. So he could date you, for real. Somin texted him while he was in the shower, upset about missing Christmas with his family. Jungkook thought that it would bother him, his first holiday without her, but he realized he couldn’t care less.
Somin treated him like a prize to be toted around and shown off. He was good for bragging; his face, body, high paying job, it all granted her status. She had no ambition to grow within the company, still a one act manager after graduating as an interning manager’s assistant. But you? God, you were different. You had ambition, you didn’t care about what Jungkook could provide for you, and you listened to him, to his dreams. You were thoughtful, appreciative, and everything you had done was to help him be happy. Even fake dating, while it benefitted you as well, you had gone above and beyond for him.
You stood up, walking closer to him where he was lost in his thoughts.
“Jungkook?” you intoned, your fingers softly settling on the back of his shoulder, waiting for his response.
“I think, yeah. I think that would be a good idea. My parents and brother love you.”
Your heart soared. He wanted to continue this. Not go back to Somin right away. He barely brought her up this whole trip. You felt giddy, hopeful that maybe one day, this could be something more.
“So then, it’s settled.”
Jungkook turned around, catching your hand before you could drop it back to your side.
“I think we should reexamine that contract, but tonight, I’d really like to say fuck it.”
Jungkook stepped into your space, and in a heart’s beat, he had ensnared your lips, his arms pulling you closer to him. Your own arms snaked up his body, hands pulling his head closer to you, your fingers playing with the wet strands at his nape. His kisses were fervent, lips almost rough as he pressed them to yours before he was swiping his tongue across the opening of your mouth, seeking entrance.
You groaned as you arched your back, seeking to deepen the kiss as you pressed higher on your tiptoes, wanting more of him. His palm skimmed your back down to your butt, where he applied pressure and lifted you with brute strength. You pulled away with a gasp, not expecting to be lifted up. He just looked at you with pupils blown, one eyebrow raised suggestively as he carried you to his bed.
“I think we should practice making ‘grandchildren’ for them.”
He set you down, long enough to grip the hem of your shirt before he pulled it over your head. His eyes moved to your chest, and he closed his eyes as he sighed in defeat.
“You’ve been keeping this from me?”
“You’ve seen me naked before,” you remind him, but he just shook his head.
“Years ago, Y/N, and let me tell you, my memory didn’t do you justice. I think I need a reminder.”
You throw him a suggestive look, knowing that you’ve both had some experience with sex since your shared first time all those years ago. This time, there was no fumbling, no nervous laughter, or apologizing. This time, Jungkook was in command of his body, and of yours too. He rid you of your shorts, leaving you naked on his sheets as he dropped his towel.
You marveled at how his body had changed: the muscle gained and the chiseled jaw you loved to admire. Jungkook bit his lip and did the same to you, eyes roving along your curves, the way you weren’t shying away from his touch as his fingers trailed up your thigh.
“You’re beautiful, Y/N.”
You didn’t get a chance to respond, as Jungkook kissed you again, this time with less fervor, his body crawling above yours as he joined you on the bed. His hands touched you everywhere, fondling your breasts and your ass as he kissed down your neck, nipping the skin and leaving marks along your neck. You feel the ache as your wetness pools between your legs, and Jungkook’s growing member sits heavy where it’s pressed against your thigh.
“Jungkook, please—”
He nips a bit harder, the sound of you begging for him made him infinitely larger. He wanted to be in you, but he didn’t want to rush it, wanted to savor you for as long as he had you under him. Kissing down your body, his tongue leaves a cool, wet trail and you writhe, ticklish to his tongues path to your core.
Parting your legs wider, he smirked at you from where he's sat on his knees, your thighs on either side of his gloriously naked body. Leaning forward, he never breaks eye contact as you watch his lips meet your mound. Gentle kisses pressed to your lips, and then his tongue is parting them, flicking your clit in greeting. Your head is thrown back, you know you should be quieter, but the onslaught of his lips and tongue as they pleasure your sweet spot has you reduced to base instincts only. And right now, they want Jungkook to know that he had better not stop.
You rolled your hips, seeking more, and he gives in, thick fingers immersing themselves inside of you. You clench, walls shocked at the intrusion but welcoming it all the same. He felt so good, and you tell him as much, so he continued to finger fuck you as he lapped up your release, carrying you through your orgasm.
He was so hard, cock throbbing as he kissed back up your body, and after spitting into your hand, you reached down to stroke along his shaft, palm twisting and gliding as he nuzzled his face back into your neck, quiet little moans rolling out of his mouth with each stroke. You made him feel so good, your body warm and soft as your smaller hand stroked his larger ego, in more ways than one.
Without preamble, you positioned him at your opening and lifted your hips, allowing him to feel how warm your walls were, waiting for him. He pushed up on his palms on either side of your head and the look he gave you was indecipherable before your own eyes shut; he engulfed his cock in the swollen velvet that was your cunt, buried to the hilt.
He had tried his best to prepare you, but every glorious inch stretching you out was a breath you needed to take in order to grow accustomed to his size. You counted nine breaths, then opened your eyes, taking in the trembling of his arms as he held himself back from pounding into you.
“Move, Kook, please,” you whine, and he wasted no time following your orders.
His hips grinded into you as he rolled them, angling himself to take you as deep as humanly possible. His pace started off fast, but soon he was slowing down, head dropped into the crook of your neck as your nails dragged red marks down his back. You rocked your hips in time to his thrusts, using your grip on his back as leverage to meet him halfway.
“You feel so good, so wet for me,” he murmured with each thrust, and you bit his shoulder, afraid if you didn’t gag yourself, you would say the wrong thing.
Everything about you enveloped him, your scent, your arms and thighs that were holding him close; he could barely think straight as he tried to get you to cum again before he got himself off. But you felt so good, tight clenches as your arousal gushed and coated his cock, he didn’t know how much longer he could last. Then you bit his shoulder, and he sped up his stroke, hips rolled in fast succession as your body jostled underneath him.
“Fuck, fuck, I’m so close baby,” you mewl into his ear, and he lifted his head up out of your neck, resting his forehead on yours.
“I want to watch you, don’t close your eyes,” he pleads and you try your best to keep them open, not closing them for long as the coil builds in your lower abdomen. He adjusted your bodies, lifted your legs up slightly which allowed him a deeper angle that hits your g-spot. Your mouth hangs open, a fucked out expression on your face and Jungkook loses it.
The first spurt of his hot cum sends you over the edge, and you're spiraling down, pussy contracting around his cock, milking him for every drop. You maintain eye contact, watching each other for a few seconds before you can’t help but close them, the pleasure too great.
Jungkook pressed his lips to yours as you both cum, using them to cage in the words he wanted to say, wanted to shout from the rooftops, but wasn’t yet sure you felt the same way.
——
Waking up in Jungkook’s arms, you felt sore. So sore, but also satisfied. You hadn’t slept this well in ages, and if Jungkook’s deep slumber and dead weight arm draped over your waist was anything to go by, he hadn’t either. You moved his arm slowly, headed for the shower, and let out a small gasp as JungHyun also exited his bedroom at the same time.
“Well, don’t you look... rested,” he trailed off, a look of knowing on his face.
Your face burned in embarrassment.
“Don’t worry, as soon as I heard little brother start to get a little… feral, I turned up my TV while I gamed. Parents didn’t hear a peep.”
“Thank you, oppa.” You bowed, gratitude seeping out of each of your pores.
“Now, those marks on the other hand,” he gestured to your neck, “might I suggest an ice pack for 20 minutes and then some really good makeup?”
You hurried into the bathroom as he laughed his way towards the kitchen. A minute later he knocked, passing you a small ice-pack through the cracked door.
“20 minutes,” he reminded you with a wink, and went back into his room with his cereal.
—
Saying goodbye to Jungkook’s parents after a late breakfast was tough. His mom cried, saying her baby son did not visit enough and that she would miss him. She also said she would miss you greatly, and that you better come back with him soon to visit.
It was tough to promise her that you would, knowing that there was a very real chance that you wouldn’t. This was fake after all. You had just agreed to extend the contract briefly, to get through the holidays and while Jungkook said ‘fuck it’ last night, with the rising of the sun came the clarity of the situation.
Jungkook behaved much the same, holding your hand and showering you with PDA, and while you reciprocated, you couldn’t help but feel like the magic of Christmas was over. Heading back to Seoul meant back to reality. You weren’t sure you were ready for that. For the first time in your life, you felt like you could see a future with someone, with him, despite the relationship being fake thus far. To be honest, it hadn’t felt fake since the night of the party.
The entire trip, all 3 and a half hours of it, you ruminated on last night and what it meant. You hated to admit that you had fallen for Jungkook, and had given up rule number 7 on a whim. For all you knew, he would be going back to Somin at the end of this.
In his own little world, Jungkook too couldn’t stop thinking about you and what last night meant. He wished he had said to forget the contract all together, instead of just for the night. He wanted to see if you felt the same way, but he wanted to be sure that his Somin chapter was done. He needed to see her and make sure he was over her, and not just using you as a rebound. You didn’t deserve that.
Jungkook’s body language had you on edge, as his foot tapped incessantly as the train got closer and closer to Seoul. You placed your hand on his knee, a reassuring move for both of you.
“Jungkook, what’s wrong?”
“Nothing. I just—Somin messaged me.” He had been thinking about it the whole trip back to Seoul, about how her messages didn’t affect him anymore. Before, he could barely go a few minutes before responding. Now, almost 18 hours had passed and he wasn’t bothered.
“When?” Your voice came out sharper than intended, and Jungkook flinched back from you.
“Uh, last night, right after I got out of the shower.”
Your brain began to connect dots that you didn’t want it to.
“Oh,” you respond, trying to keep your voice light. Jungkook was confused at your reaction; usually you were jumping to keep him and Somin apart. This response felt like you didn’t care, like if he met up with Somin, it wouldn’t impact you at all.
“She just… I think that you’re right. The plan is working and I’ve been happier than I’ve been in a long time. But I guess there’s that part of me that needs to talk with her, express how I feel. I want to be sure.” Before I confess my feelings to you, he thought.
“Right. Well, that was the goal, getting you to figure out what you want.” You turned your head away from him and deeper into the neck pillow, trying to get this conversation done and over with before he said something that really broke your heart.
“I know. I guess I’ll meet up with her when we get back? The sooner the better I guess.”
“True, the faster you meet with her, figure it all out, the faster we can move towards breaking up.”
Jungkook freezes, but you don’t notice, too focused on not looking at him.
“At breaking up?”
“Yea, that was the plan right? We date for a couple more weeks, then break up, so you can get back with Somin, if she’s changed, you know?”
“You—”
“Hey Jungkook? I’m really tired, can we talk about this later?”
Jungkook stared at your form, taking in how closed off you were from him. He didn’t understand what changed. He sat back, finally replying to Somin’s text, agreeing to meet at a cafe by his apartment later that evening.
—
Jungkook saw you home, worried the entire ride to your place about what was happening between the two of you. He thought everything had been going well, and after last night, he didn’t know how he could have possibly fucked up. He hoped you were just PMS-ing, like Somin used to always blame moods like this on.
You let him carry your suitcase upstairs to your apartment and when he leaned in for a kiss, you kissed him back, but he felt it was almost out of obligation; your sister was sitting on the couch watching the two of you. Jungkook paused at your door, but you had turned away from him, so ready to be alone. So he let you close the door in his face, let you have time to yourself.
Jungkook got to the cafe, eyes searching for the long black hair of his ex. When he approached her she smiled at him. Jungkook saw the way her face lit up, the way the smile graced her pretty face, and felt nothing for it. Sitting down, a cafe worker took their drink order and left them alone.
“So, you said you wanted to talk?” Jungkook asked, fidgeting with his fingers drumming on his knee.
“Kookie, I miss you.” Somin leaned toward him, chest pushed out in her off the shoulder zebra print dress. Her black heel nudged against Jungkook’s leg, rubbing it suggestively.
Jungkook moved his leg out of reach and sighed.
“Somin—”
“Minnie.” She pouted, red painted bottom lip jutting out after she cut him off to correct her name.
“Somin. I—I’m sorry.” Jungkook felt awkward. Here he was, sitting in front of his ex, who was undoubtedly a gorgeous woman. But after all they had been through—all she put him through—and all the healing you had done to his heart, he realized he had fallen out of love with her a long time ago. “I know you had hopes of us getting back together.”
“Well, of course we’re getting back together Kookie. We’re made for each other. Since we were 20! I know this thing with Y/N is just revenge. You wanted to make me mad, teach me a lesson,” she said as she reached out and grabbed Jungkook’s hand in hers, “and I have learned it. Christmas without you was so sad. I had no one to go out to all the holiday parties with.”
Jungkook shifted in the metal chair. “Look, Somin—”
“Why do you keep calling me that?” she interrupted again, and Jungkook let out a loud sigh as he tried to maintain his cool.
“Because, I’m trying to tell you that I—”
“Jungkook! Somin!”
The loud yell of the barista reading out orders cut Jungkook off for the third time, and he groaned, running his tattooed hand over his face. With a huff, he stood up, walking through the crowded cafe to get the drinks so he could just tell Somin the truth; he may have initially wanted to teach her a lesson, but he ended up being the person who learned something from it. He was in love with you; wanted to spend more holidays like the one that just passed, with you. He truly didn’t feel anything for Somin anymore, other than friendship.
While Jungkook was up, Somin noticed his bag was open, a fancy camera strap hanging out of it. It was embroidered; the phrase ‘you shine brighter than anyone’ apparent once she pulled it free from his oversized black backpack. Somin threw a glance over her shoulder at Jungkook, seeing him still busy, so she stuffed the strap into her purse. Grabbing her phone, she sent a text to Taehyung.
Jungkook set down the drinks before sitting down himself and commanding the attention of his ex.
“Look, Somin, I just—I’m sorry.” Jungkook looked down at his hands before making eye contact with her. “I don’t see us getting back together. I—” he paused, taking a deep breath before he spoke his truth, “I’m in love with her, Minie. I know that’s not what you want to hear, but I want to be happy. I want you to be happy with someone who feels about you, how I feel about her.”
Somin stared at Jungkook before she laughed. He was unsure of the emotions she was actually feeling; perplexed by her reaction to what he just told her. He didn't want to be with her anymore, and he wasn’t looking for her to beg, but he expected a little more... sadness? Push back? Once she was done laughing, she leveled her gaze at him.
“You, you’ve barely been seeing her Jungkook. How can you love her?”
Jungkook took a sip of his drink, gathering his thoughts before he answered her. The judgement that laced her tone made him angry, but he didn’t want to give Somin the upper hand. He wanted to be an adult about the situation. In retrospect, he hadn’t been honest with Somin when she first confessed to him, and you deserved for him to share that honesty now, even if it was coming 5 years later.
“I think—I think a part of me has always loved her. Since that first year. Don’t get me wrong, I think I loved you too and at some point we just… I think we just broke up and then made up too many times because it was easy… familiar. I love you Minie, and you were a huge part of my life. I’m just not IN love with you.” Jungkook leaned forward towards Somin, placing his hand over here, hoping that she would see and feel his sincerity and his benevolence.
“Wow, I—You’re serious?” Somin’s voice was quiet as she questioned him. “I guess I didn’t think I’d be starting the new year without you.”
Jungkook watched as she slid her hand out from under his and placed it in her lap.
“Please, be happy for me Minie, and when you’re ready, I’ll be happy for you too.”
The loud chime from Somin’s phone went off. Jungkook watched as she looked at her screen, eyes growing wide.
“Shit, an emergency with Tae.” Somin looked up at Jungkook, her face soft and apologetic.
“Koo—I mean Jungkook, I was just surprised is all. I—I am happy for you and Y/N. Or, I guess it’s more like, I will be. I’m sorry, I have to run, but thank you for meeting with me.”
Somin gave him one last smile, as if showing she was throwing the towel in, before she stood up and left the cafe in a hurry. Jungkook watched her as she dashed off, disappearing down the sidewalk towards the nearest bus stop. He thought the meeting had gone well, or at least better than expected. Maybe Somin has grown up, he thought to himself, unaware of the way she made off cunningly with his gifted camera strap, using a text that confirmed the time for the next morning’s meeting with Taehyung as an excuse to escape.
——
After closing the door in Jungkook’s face, you retreated to your room, claiming that a headache was creeping in from the long train ride. Your sister nodded, engrossed in her latest K Drama. You rolled your suitcase into your room, stripped your travel clothes from your weary body, and entered your shower.
Free to do as you pleased, with the water to cover the sound, you wept. How foolish you felt, letting Jungkook close to you once again, only to see him rush off to Somin. It was almost like what happened 5 years ago, when you had gone to his dorm room and found her confessing. Just like then, Somin was winning Jungkook; once again he had slipped through your grasp.
That night you texted Jungkook to tell him you would be going to the office early and that he needn’t pick you up.
Jungkook was relieved upon seeing your text. He had spent the better half of the evening and the morning tearing apart his apartment. He had called his parents, his brother, and overturned his luggage onto the floor. He could not find the camera strap you made him.
He knew that he shouldn’t have taken it off the camera, but he spilled a bit of leftovers from his mom on it while on the train and removed it to make it easier to clean once he got home.
Unfortunately, it was nowhere to be found.
Jungkook was frantic; he knew that you made it for him that night you sat in the sewing room with your mom and sister while he was with your dad. Your mom had an embroidery machine, and so you snuck in there under the premise of bonding time and worked on it. He loved the phrase you chose for him; it reminded him of your love letter to him, the way you had written about him making you feel as beautiful as a night sky. “you looked at me as if the galaxies were reflected in my eyes...”
Dumping out his black backpack for the umpteenth time, Jungkook sifted through notebooks, film, wrappers from snacks, a small hygiene bag, and loose photos. He doesn’t know why he continued looking through the same places. It’s not there. Glancing at the clock, he realized he would be late to the Monday morning meeting. Giving up and putting everything he needed back into his bookbag, he stepped over the mess and headed out to his car.
Walking into the conference room, everyone looked tired from their holidays, but with the New Year around the corner, it was important for everyone to attend before January. SeoulM8’s comeback was fast approaching, and making sure everything was moving smoothly was imperative to whether the next holiday was spent relaxing or spent stressed out.
Stirring your coffee, you walked through the propped open door and maneuvered your way over to where your assistants sat. Kim, the same one who brought you the tiger lillies several weeks ago, smiled at you as she slid you the stapled packet she printed out from the email.
“I think we’ve done all our parts, the photos Jeon emailed over have been approved by the boss, and we double-checked the designers they are wearing. I think all that’s left is to get final approval on the outfits for their comeback shows and interviews during comeback week.”
You nodded, sipping the still hot coffee as Kim spoke quietly about the role you played for SeoulM8, eyes on the printed email. It didn’t help the way you could feel the mocha eyes of a certain ‘missing in action’ best friend burning into the side of your face; or the way the empty seat across from you saved for a certain ‘boyfriend’ of yours had your anxiety on edge.
With 5 minutes left until the meeting commenced, you had done a pretty good job at tuning out all of the mindless chatter around you, that is until Somin’s nasally voice interrupted your response to Kim.
“Oh, this? It’s just a little gift for JK.”
“But you broke up? He’s with Y/N now...” Hobi said, cutting off a reply from one of the assistants sitting near Somin.
“But we dated for 5 years, he’s still important to me. I think he’ll love it.” She turned her back to Hobi, who tried to make eye contact with you. You looked down at your coffee instead.
When Jimin and Taehyung walked into the room, everyone quieted down and took their seats if they weren’t already, assuming Bang PD, the head boss, would be quickly approaching behind them. Before the glass door could swing fully shut, Jungkook sprinted into the room, out of breath.
“Oh Jungkook, here!” Somin stood up, making a big show out of handing him the small gift bag that had been on the table in front of her.
“Oh? Uh, thanks Minie.” Jungkook said, looking for the head boss. Bang PD was still missing from the room, so he grasped the colorful tissue paper from the bag and removed it in one swift pull. As the paper fluttered to the table, Jungkook’s eyes lit up as he took in the present.
“Oh my God, thank you!” Jungkook wrapped his arms around Somin in a huge hug, surprising everyone in the room watching, including you. Despite all of your negative thoughts about you and Jungkook’s future, seeing him react that way was unexpected and you felt your heart ache seeing him hold her in an embrace.
Sitting down, Jungkook turns to talk to Somin when you notice Bang PD walking down the long hallway towards the closed glass doors.
You turned to the front of the room where SeoulM8 was seated next to the only empty chair in the room, fully intending to pay attention, but Jungkook’s movements directly across from you pulled your attention away. When you see the embroidered strap that YOU had given to him for Christmas a mere 2 days ago slide free from the bag, you see red. Before Bang PD can enter the room, you’ve already stood up.
Both Namjoon and Jungkook look at you, followed by everyone else’s gaze; it’s too late to hide the tears that fall down your face.
“Y/N, I can explain—” Jungkook said as you make your way around the table toward the door. He grabbed your wrist to stop you, but you pulled it from his grasp.
“Save it, Jeon. It’s over.”
You leave the meeting, walking brusquely past your boss with your head down. You type out a quick text to him as you take the elevator down, apologizing for leaving and saying that an emergency came up. Bang PD responds within a few moments.
Back in the conference room, Jungkook attempted to call you, but you sent him to voicemail twice. Giving up, he grabbed his bag, fully planning to follow you, when he saw Namjoon stand before he could. Throwing a dirty look at Jungkook, Namjoon shook his head at him before quickly following you out the door.
You haven’t gone far, making it only to your office where you gathered up the rest of your belongings when Namjoon burst in.
“Y/N,” he sounded a little out of breath, probably from running to the elevator and then to your office, you assumed, “I—”
“Save it, Joon. You didn’t want to talk to me these past few weeks, so I don’t know why you’re here now.”
“Because I realized I love you.”
You stopped packing up your laptop, eyes slowly moving to meet his.
“What did you say?”
“I said I love you. I didn’t realize it until you started dating Jungkook, but I do.”
You shook your head back and forth, unable to hear or deal with his feelings right now.
“No, Namjoon, you don’t. You just miss Jennie.”
“Y/N, listen, I should’ve realized it was you. It’s always been you. You can’t honestly tell me that you’re in love with Jungkook?” Namjoon said this last part with contempt.
Tears fell once again, and you dropped your hands uselessly to your side.
“I do, Namjoon. I honestly love him.”
“Well, I hate to say I told you so, but-”
“Then don’t,” you voiced, cutting him off with an edge to your voice.
“You and Jungkook? Please. Anyone can see how different you are. You and me, though? We’re better for each other.”
“How different we are? Why? Am I too out of his league? Not pretty enough?”
“No, that’s not what I’m saying, and you know it. You guys just aren’t compatible—”
“And how the fuck would you even know?! You saw us together at what? One party? And then at work? What do you even know about our relationship, Joon?! You’ve been angry at me ever since you found out!”
“Because you and him together isn’t right! It’s supposed to be you and me!”
“Oh please, Namjoon. If Jennie hadn’t taken that Japan job and dumped you, you wouldn’t even be here right now. I wouldn’t have even crossed your mind. This is a pointless conversation.”
You walked towards the door, bag over your shoulder and laptop case in hand. Namjoon blocked the doorway, and behind him you could see nosey coworkers watching the interaction.
“Move, Namjoon.”
“Not until you talk to me.”
“No,” you go to shoulder past him, and you were able to back him up into the common area outside of your office. He grabbed at your shoulders, holding you still.
“Namjoon, let go of me!” At this moment you hated that you had dressed up for this meeting; a tight a-line pencil skirt and heels that don’t allow you the movement that you needed.
Before you can shimmy from his clutches, he’s leaning forward, his lips meeting yours in a kiss. In shock, you don’t move at first, not until your free hand shoved his shoulder and pushed him a step back.
“I can’t believe you.”
The look you gave him could burn the sun, and this time you were able to push past him; the elevator getting closer and closer as you approached. You saw Jungkook, motionless, at the platform in front of the elevators; his eyes low in a glare aimed at Namjoon, who had followed you in your haste to escape.
“Hyung, you need to leave her alone.”
“Me? I’m her best friend. I would say you were her boyfriend, but we all heard her break up with you when she left the room crying.”
“That was just a misunderstanding. So like I said, leave her alone.” Jungkook stepped forward to his full height, chest to chest with his hyung, who prior to watching him force a kiss on you, he respected a lot. The tension on the floor was thick. You were mere steps from freedom, from Namjoon and Jungkook, when his words stopped you dead in your tracks. A misunderstanding?
Did he not understand what the words ‘It’s over’ meant? That the contract, the relationship between the two of you, however real or fake, everything was null and void?
“It wasn’t a misunderstanding, Jungkook.”
Big, confused, doe eyes turned to face you. “Y/N, please let’s just talk about th—”
“Why don’t you take your own advice and listen to her, Kook. You could never treat her how she deserves.”
“Why don’t you go mind your own business Namjoon.” Jungkook bit back, fists clenched as he shook, holding back his anger. He just wanted to be alone to talk to you, but Namjoon was making it difficult.
“She is my business, she’s my best friend. She’s nothing to you now. Though, knowing you, that’s probably the reason she broke up with you. I bet you didn’t treat Somin right, and now you fucked up with Y/N. Can’t do anything right, can yo—”
Jungkook’s fist flew through the air before you could tell either of them to stop talking about what they don’t know. The sound of Namjoon’s jaw connecting to his fist echoed through the large room, and the crowd of bystanders yelled out in shock at watching a full on fight start in the building.
You yelled as Namjoon tackled Jungkook around his middle, tackling him to the ground before he reared back his fist to punch him back.
“Namjoon, stop, STOP!” you yelled as Jungkook flipped Namjoon onto his back, swapping places as he took the liberty to return the blow. Putting down your laptop and bag haphazardly, you rushed closer. Leaning down, you grabbed at Jungkook’s arm that was cocked back to throw another punch, yelling his name frantically.
“Jungkook, Kookie, PLEASE STOP!”
The two men looked at your face, their chests rising and falling rapidly as they tried to catch their breath. Jungkook’s eyes were dilated. As he took in your state, he seemed to come back to his senses. He started to climb up off of where he straddled Namjoon, pinning him to the floor, his hand reaching up towards you from where he was kneeled on the ground.
“Y/N, I’m sorry baby, please just talk to me.” Jungkook’s bottom lip was split, a small bit of blood leaking from the cut. His cheekbone was red; you knew a bruise would form there. Namjoon too tried to sit up, leaning on his elbow as his split eyebrow spilled his blood down the side of his face. He too would be sporting a shiner for the next week or so.
You almost reached for Jungkook, returned the gesture to cradle that beautiful face, but you couldn’t. Him fighting Namjoon changed nothing about the fact that Somin had the present you gave him, that she brought it to him as if she had given it to him, let alone the response he gave her when he saw it. Backing away, you almost tripped over your belongings before you thought to collect them, and then dashed into the elevator, leaving the two men bleeding on the floor as the doors shut, cutting off the view.
——
Dealing with the aftermath of the fight was not something you thought would be so difficult to do.
Working remotely meant not being able to turn off your phone so you didn’t miss any important calls or texts. Unfortunately, it also meant you had to deal with the barrage of texts and calls from friends and co-workers wanting to know about the fight.
According to Jimin, the only person other than Kim who you were responding to, the whole office heard about the fight. With Jin being Jungkook’s roommate, and of course being the resident gossip, news traveled fast that the two men got into a fist throwing match over you. This only had you double down on avoiding messages, calls, and not posting to social media. It was unlike you; as a fashionista who worked with models and artists like SeoulM8 and Kim Seokjin, people looked to your accounts for updates.
Your silence was killing Jungkook, the one person who had not given up. Jungkook hated to not give people time, but he had the feeling like the more time you had, the faster you would slip from his fingertips. You stared at your phone, watching his name light up on the screen as a picture of the two of you, set as his contact photo, taunted you with memories.
All you could do was lay there, curled up on your bed in your pajamas for the second day in a row, hating yourself. Hating the fact that you allowed yourself to break your rules, that you let Jungkook into your heart for a second time, only to watch it all come crashing down because he couldn’t let go of Somin. What did Somin have that you didn’t? How was it that she always won?
5 years ago you lost Jungkook to her, after giving him your virginity, something he knew was a big deal, as he had given his to you in exchange. And now again, you had so foolishly fallen into bed with him again, and he ran back to Somin. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice? You were already blaming yourself heavy for this one.
Another day passed before you finally pulled yourself up out of bed long enough to shower and get dressed in a different set of sweats. A knocking sound at the front door had you tense up. Luckily, your sister answered the door, able to field away anyone who wanted to see you.
Creeping silently to the door of your bedroom, you cracked it open and listened to see who was there. From the angle you could see your sister, but not who was outside, nor could they see you. The warm tone was instantly recognizable, and your eyes widened as your sister looked back at you. Shaking your head profusely, she denied entry and shut the door, walking over to you. You back away from the door, letting her in as you sit on your bed. Crossing your legs, you grabbed a stuffie and clutched it to your chest.
“Hey, can you tell me what happened? Why are you hiding out at home and not answering Jungkook’s calls? What’s going on?”
You sighed, taking a much needed breath before you recounted the whole story. You told her about the journal entries being sent out, about how Namjoon had confronted you leading to you lying and saying you were with Jungkook, who came up with the plan to fake date each other until the Somin and Namjoon issues calmed down for both of you.
She listened intently, shocked to hear that it was all fake, and she told you as much once you finished sharing about the fight that ensued on Monday.
“Sis, that man loves you. I could see it when he came to the door. I think you should talk to him.”
“No. It’s all my fault all of this happened anyways. If I hadn’t been drunk and sent those messages out, I would have never had to lie to Namjoon and start all of this.”
Yuna squirmed in your computer chair, her mouth twisted as if holding herself back.
“Actually, you didn’t do that.”
“What are you talking about Yuna? I saw the messages. I took the photos the night before because I wanted to upload them to an online journal platform.”
She nodded her head, wringing her fingers in her hand. “I know that, but you didn’t send them… I did.”
You stared at her, anger silently rising as you waited for her to continue.
“I waited until you got into the shower. You know I read the entry to Namjoon, and so when you got into the shower, I used your phone and sent a message to each guy who’s name was both in the book and in your phone. I wanted you to have someone, instead of always spending your evenings at home, bored.”
“Yuna, you knew that I did not want Namjoon to know, he and Jennie had just... and I was trying to protect him, do you see what this did?!” You threw the plushie at her angrily, standing abruptly.
“I can’t believe you would invade my privacy, you could have ruined my career, if one of those messages had been sent to the wrong person, god damn it Yuna! You’ve ruined my fucking life!”
Yuna was crying, but she set the stuffed bunny back on your bed gently before she got up and headed to leave your room. Pausing at the door, her hand poised on the door knob, she turned back to face you.
“I didn’t ruin your life. You finally had a life. You’re the one running away from it now.”
With those parting words, she left your room, closing the door and leaving you alone with your thoughts.
After Yuna left you, she went to her own room, where she scrolled through social media to find Jungkook. You already blamed her, though she felt like it was misplaced, but she felt like she might as well do something to help fix the situation. Finding Jungkook’s IG account from the photos you tagged him in, she followed him. When he returned the follow, she messaged him to contact her.
It didn’t take long for him to respond, and she asked him to meet her out somewhere. Agreeing on a local park, Yuna changed her shoes and left you moping in your room, a note on the counter that she was headed out.
Sitting on the bench, it wasn’t hard to spot Jungkook. His tousled black hair peeking from under his black beanie and the familiar black jacket was easy to spot against the white snow that had recently fallen, but like a Seoul snowfall, it wouldn’t stick for long. Carrying a hot cocoa for him and herself, Yuna held it out to him before she sat down, sipping on the warm drink.
“Yuna, I will say I’m surprised you reached out to me.” Jungkook’s usually bright voice was tinged with sadness as he looked over at her.
“I have something to tell you.” Yuna started, and Jungkook’s nerves grew.
“I was the one who sent the journal entry to you. Not my sister.”
“Oh? Okay. Thank you for telling me I guess.” Jungkook took another deep pull from the drink, letting the heat fill his body as he swallowed.
“I mean, I sent it because I didn’t want her to grow old and be alone. Every night, coming home bored to drink wine with her baby sister and watch reruns on Netflix? I wanted her to fall in love. And she did. With you.”
“I don’t think so, Yuna. She wasn’t in love with me.”
“She was; she still is! She told me everything that happened. About how dating you was all fake. But I know it wasn’t. Not for her. And not for you. No one acts the way you two acted. I know my sister; when she told me what happened, I knew that she was hurt because she’s in love with you. Like, still in love with you. She just doesn’t believe you love her back.”
Yuna stared at Jungkook, watching the way her words sank in, waiting to confirm what she already knew: Jungkook was in love with you, too.
Jungkook’s voice was quiet when he finally spoke. “How do I convince her? That I love her back?”
“I wish I knew Jungkook. I wish I knew. But if you don’t do something soon, I think you’ll lose her.”
——
Friday was New Year’s Eve, and you had to put up with Yuna running around like a lunatic cleaning the apartment to ring in the new year. You had finally resigned yourself to forgiving her for sending the journal entries. It was over and done with, and there was nothing more to do. Monday, you would be back at work like nothing happened, and didn’t want to go into the new year holding onto this year’s anger or sadness.
Yoongi, surprisingly, had reached out to you the day before about a party he was having to ring in the new year, and at first you didn’t want to go, but the longer you thought about it, you figured you should. Why spend the new year at home, where your sister would relentlessly tease you until she left. She had her own plans this year, going to a classmates to drink and watch the fireworks; so if you stayed home, you would be alone.
And you were tired of being alone. Sleeping in, you didn’t get up to join your sister in cleaning until later in the afternoon, going through your closet, bedroom, and bathroom.
You were scrubbing your shower when you heard the doorbell, but your sister, ever the nosey one, yelled that she would get it, so you continued cleaning, forgetting that someone had come to the door by the time you finished cleaning the bathroom.
When you finally stopped cleaning for the day, it was close to 9 PM, so you decided to get ready for the night out at Yoongi and Hobi’s place. After about an hour and a half, you were dressed, makeup done, and ready for the party. You ventured out of your room, noticing a large blue hatbox on the kitchen counter.
“Yuna! What’s this blue box?” you yelled, and her reply carried from down the hall.
“A delivery, for you, from earlier!”
“Why didn’t you tell me?” you grumbled, cursing your sibling as you reached to remove the lid off of it. Inside was what looked like a photobook, a beautiful ombre of pinks and purples decorating the cover. Removing it from the box, you flip it open, noticing right away the neat handwriting that could only belong to one person.
Sighing, you carry it to the couch, where you read the inscription he penned inside.
“Right at this moment, I think of you.”
Flipping through the pages, you see he’s created a scrapbook of the past month spent together. Pictures of the two of you at work, the park, each other’s places, and visiting each other’s families. Pictures of you sleeping in his arms, candids where you aren’t even aware of him taking the photos.
Each photo is vibrant, in his style of catching the light just right as it caresses your face, and you’ve never seen yourself look so beautiful. He’s scribbled little notes here and there, of what he noticed or what was happening when he snapped the camera, and you can’t help but blush when you see a photo in there of you after the two of you had sex.
“I reach out my hand, and feel your breath. With eyes closed, before we know it, we’re together.”
Your fingers trace over the photo, where Jungkook’s face is, looking at you so lovingly as you sleep on his chest, the bed sheets from his childhood bedroom covering you both strategically so nothing indecent shows.
The last page has a handwritten letter, not unlike the one you wrote for him all those years ago, with a tiger lily pressed inside. You looked up the meaning of the flower earlier in the day when you found the large vase while cleaning. Please love me. With shaky hands, you held the photobook and began to read.
Y/N,
5 years ago, you thought you were in love. I can tell you with certainty that 5 years later I pray that you are, because I am so in love with you. The way you see me, I don’t think I’ve ever been seen before. My whole life I’ve been behind the camera capturing others. And somehow you have taken the camera from me and now I’m the one being captured and seen. And I love it. You make me feel like I’m not just made up of the same ingredients that make up the stars in the sky, you make me feel like the very galaxy reflected in your eyes when you look at me. You’re beautiful, and I, Jeon Jungkook, am so in love with you. When I say I’ve always loved you, that there is no start, so there can be no end: we are fated—destined; you are mine as much as I am yours. These photos are only a fraction of the way I see you, the many shades that make up who you are, how could I ever capture them all? Please know, I want to spend the rest of time trying. So in case you didn’t see it, or weren’t sure: I love you. I want to be with you. No contracts, just you, wholeheartedly as mine, and me as yours.
——
It was nearing 11 when you reached Yoongi and Hobi’s house, leaving the Uber driver with a confused look at the way you dashed out of his car. You could care less; the man you were in love with was inside that house, right now, and you would be damned to let him get away again.
Pushing through the crowd of bodies, you looked side to side, searching for the familiar black tresses, ears straining to hear his musical laugh or catch someone saying his name. Entering the living room, your eyes fell on the beer pong table, where Jimin and Taehyung were playing against Yoongi and Hobi.
Destination set on getting to that table, you wade through the throng of people with the obligatory happy new year. Some attempted to stop to ask you how you’ve been, fill you in on the latest office gossip, or inquire about the exact relationship status of Jungkook. Those in the latter category were met with major side-eye. Plastering a fake smile on your face each time, you finally shake the last of them, jogging the last few steps until your right on the edge of the game.
“Y/N! Glad to see you!” Hobi was his typical cheerful self, greeting you with his signature smile as he watched Taehyung try and line up his shot in the cups Yoongi just re-racked.
“Hey Hobi, Happy almost New Year! Have you seen Jungkook?” you asked, skipping straight to the point.
“Um, yea, he came by earlier to drop off a few kegs for us, helped us move the furniture, but he went home. Said he wasn’t really feeling like celebrating.”
Yoongi, who had just grabbed the ping pong balls before they bounced off the table, handed one to Hobi as he gave you a pointed look.
“Yea, looked pretty heartbroken all week, if you ask me.”
“Well, no one did Yoongi. Give her a break,” Hobi answered before turning to you, “he’s probably at home. You can get there before midnight if you get an Uber quick.”
Thanking him, you threw your arms around him and Yoongi in a shared hug before waving to the other two on the far side of the table. You had someplace to be.
Outside in the quiet, you requested an Uber, happy to see one not even 2 minutes away. Thankfully, Jungkook only lived 10 minutes or so from the guys. You hoped traffic would be on your side. You knew you were cutting it close; 11:30 was approaching fast.
The ride to Jungkook’s apartment gave you too much time to think. Those 15 minutes (thanks drunk pedestrians) on the car ride over allowed the nerves to settle in, along with the doubt and fears. What if he didn’t feel that way about you anymore? What if he just wanted to bring you the photobook as a goodbye?
Shaking the thought from your head, you took a deep breath before you climbed out of the car and into the hushed cold of the last day of December. You had never shown up to his place unannounced like this, so used to trailing him into his apartment. The closed door was daunting to you, but you didn’t have much time now.
Knocking louder than you needed to due to those pesky butterflies in your stomach, what feels like an hour is only 10 seconds or so until Jungkook is standing before you.
“Hi,” you said, breathless from the cold and from the sight of him after so many days apart.
“Hi,” he responded, looking just as mesmerized to see you at his doorstep, “uh, wanna come in?” Jungkook took a step back, giving you space to come in and you stepped forward into the welcomed warmth of his home.
The scene before you is not what you were expecting. Jungkook had been sitting in the dark, a half eaten pizza and a beer bottle on the coffee table, with his favorite blue and grey plaid blanket haphazardly cast aside on the couch; most likely from when he stood to welcome you.
Shucking off your boots, you walked into the living room, Jungkook silently trailing you.
“I—I’ve missed you.” His voice is low, as if afraid he would spook you.
“I’ve missed you too.” You turned to face him, the light from the paused Netflix show reflecting in his beautiful orbs. You took in his face, split lip mostly healed and the bruise faded along his cheek.
“I got your gift.”
“I’m glad.”
The conversation between the two of you was static, neither sure of what to do. The silence ticked on for a few more seconds before you decided to stop being a pussy.
“Did you mean it? What you said?”
“Of course I did.”
“I’m glad,” you repeated his earlier phrase, stepping closer to him. You placed your hands on his chest, solid muscles reacting to your touch as he subconsciously flexed them. “Because I love you, too.”
Rising on your tippy toes, you pressed your lips to his, your body relaxing when you heard the sigh he let out from the contact. His hands pulled you closer, deft fingers gripping you in all the right places as he deepened the kiss. He tasted faintly of pizza and beer, and smelled so strongly of his vanilla musk. You couldn’t believe how much he felt like home to you. Being in his arms felt right.
Bending slightly, Jungkook wrapped his arms under your thighs and lifted you up, never breaking the kiss. Hoisting you up, he carried you down the hall to his room, foot kicking the door shut behind him. So turned on by his show of strength, you rolled your hips down onto what was his growing length, seeking any friction that would help ease the ache between your thighs.
Letting out a groan, Jungkook’s hands guided your hips roughly to where he wanted you, lining up your sweet spot so you could grind on him better. Licking into his mouth, your hands tangled in the hair at the nape of his neck. A slight tug exposed more of his neck, where you planted markers of your territory as you continued rolling your hips in time to his movements.
“I want you.” The whispered words went straight to your core; hearing Jungkook’s voice break with need, need for you—you couldn’t get out of your clothes fast enough.
“Bed. Now.” You demand, and he laughs as he follows your directives, setting you down once he approached the edge of his queen sized mattress. You tug your jacket off, tossing it to the foot of his bed before peeling your shirt up over your head to reveal your bra to him. He doesn’t get to look too long; you’ve gripped the waistband of his grey sweatpants and pulled them low enough to free him from it’s confines. His cock sprung free, and, licking your lips, you switch positions with him.
With his back to the bed, you pushed him down, and he went easily. Pressing your hand to his chest, you lay him back as you bend at the waist, bringing your mouth to his leaking head. You lick the bottom of his shaft up to the slit, collecting the pre-cum with the tip of your tongue before you take the head into your mouth, swirling your tongue around the sensitive tip. Under your hand, you feel his abdominal muscles contract as he lets out a moan letting you know how good you feel as you take him farther into your mouth.
Speeding your ministrations, you hollow your cheeks as you slurp around the head, using your hands to massage the dripping spit along the exposed skin you can’t reach. His hands grip your hair creating a makeshift ponytail to keep it out of your face so he can watch you. And wow, does he love the sight of your lips wrapped around his cock, innocent eyes blinking coyly up at him while your mouth is stretched around him. Keep it up and he could cum too quickly in your mouth.
When your free hand traveled to his scrotum, he jumped, feeling an overwhelming sense of pleasure as his sack tensed up.
“Wait, baby, I don’t want to cum yet.” Jungkook panted, and you pop off of him with a lewd sound that filled the quiet of his room.
Tugging you towards him, he scooted back on the bed until his head was flush with the headboard.
“Strip for me,” he urged, and you did, undoing the button on your jeans and sliding them down until you were naked from the waist down. His eyes stared pointedly at your chest and you unclasped your bra, adding it to the growing pile of clothes the two of you had made. Watching as he shed his shirt before laying back fully, kicking his sweats free from his body, you climbed onto the bed, and he directed you farther up his body until he could maneuver your thighs to either side of his face.
“Jungkook—”
“I’ve wanted you like this for so long, baby, please.”
Giggling softly, you lowered yourself slowly and he wound his arms around your thighs until his palms were wrestling lightly on them. The slow caress as he drew patterns on your skin matched the same pattern he drew with his tongue, you realized once he had you fully seated. Gripping the headboard, you threw your head back, rolling your hips as his lips and tongue ravaged you, the sexual sounds of him eating you out creating more for him to drink down.
Curving your back to make you hunch forward, you adjust as the pleasure builds and you see his eyes, those bright galaxies staring at you as he pleasured you to climax and you tensed as the coil in your abdomen snapped, a mix of curse words and his name pouring from your lips as he worked you through it.
Placing your hands on his sweat laced forehead, you pushed to try and pull away from the overstimulation as he let out a laugh.
Scooting yourself down his body once he released you, you fell back and to the side of his muscular thighs, trying to catch your breath. You feel him moving, a low chuckle released as his hands grasped your wrists. Pulling you up, you see he’s now seated flush to the headboard, back against the soft grey padding. He guides your hips so that you straddle him, sitting your still sopping wet cunt onto his cock. Pressed against his stomach, he can feel the warmth emanating from your opening, and groaned, wanting to be inside of you.
Pressing his forehead to yours, his eyes meet yours as he intertwines your fingers before resting your interlocked hands behind your back at the curve of your ass.
“I love you.” His voice is strong, sure and confident in the words he says as he bares more than just his body before you. “I wanted you so badly back then, I want you even more now.” He presses a kiss to your lips, causing you to grind down on him.
He kisses down your neck, hands still holding you in position over him. “Want to be inside of you, baby.” He nips at your neck, making you gasp, and when you rock forward, he’s rocking his hips down.
The head of his cock presses against your core, and you settle back onto it, walls stretching to accommodate his girth. The two of you move in tandem, lips once again reunited in a raunchy kiss that only serves to turn you on more, sending enough slick between your lower lips to allow him to slip further into you until he’s bottomed out, a snug fit as the tip of his cock kisses your cervix.
Releasing your hands, his large palms hold your back to pull you closer to him as you swivel your hips, rocking so the shaft slips in and out of you in short bounces. You rock, arms wrapped lazily around his neck as you play with the wet locks of hair as you ride him at your leisure, just enjoying the feel of your bodies connected as one. Chest to chest, you can feel the speed of his heart beat; it matches your own.
“Can I go faster?” you asked, not wanting to go at a pace he wasn’t comfortable with.
“You can use me however you want, baby,” he replied, eyebrow cocked smugly as he gripped your waist tighter, “but please tell me I can cum inside.”
Nodding as you sped up, you bounced with more friction, his pelvic bone rubbing against your clit as you chased your high, fucking yourself on his formiddable cock.
“That’s it, fuck, baby, right there—” Jungkook’s moans, musical as he egged you on, brought you to your peak for the second time that night. Your walls clenched around him, and as your body froze, he took advantage of the moment to shift your bodies so you were on your back with your head to the foot of the bed. Bracing his feet on edge where his mattress met the headboard, he began to piston his hips into you, chasing his own high.
“Fuck, Jungkook, I’m gonna—again—” You can barely get the words out when your third orgasm is crashing around you, legs shaking from where they’re wrapped tightly around his narrow hips. Your release makes it wetter, and your swollen walls ache to feel his cum fill you.
“Gonna fill you up so good, baby, fuck a—baby into you, fuck, I want to see you carry my—my kid,” Jungkook’s cock is drowning in your essence, and hearing him talk about kids with you causes you to tighten around him, and he’s cumming, long ropes of his hot cum filling you until it’s seeping out around him as he continues to thrust indiscriminately, velvet muscle milking him dry.
Laying skin to skin in his bed, you laugh as the alarm clock numbers alert you to the fact that you had missed the New Year by 38 minutes.
“What’s so funny?” Jungkook asked, eyes alight as he takes in your smile.
“We missed New Year’s.”
“We didn’t miss it, we were simply enjoying our New Year’s kiss for longer than most.” He quipped back, fingers tracing patterns along your back. Your own nails were lightly scratching shapes into his chest as you rested your head on his shoulder. You spent the next 20 minutes of the first hour of the new year listening to him explain what happened with the camera strap, though you had already forgiven the incident.
He wasn’t sure how Somin had the camera strap, though he suspected she stole it from his bag at the cafe. Jungkook told you about the meeting, how it helped him see that you weren’t a rebound; he was in love with you and while it was obvious to him, a part of him wanted to be sure before confessing to you. He didn’t want you to think he was rushing into things to get over his ex. He also apologized for fighting Namjoon, saying he was worried that seeing him fight would change how you viewed him, change his chances of being with you, this time for real.
“I love you, Jungkook, in case you didn’t know.”
“I love you too, in case you didn’t know.”
“Hmm, but, I think we need to talk about children though, I think it’s a little too soon, despite our parents' ideas.” You giggled, and his cheeks turned red in embarrassment.
“It was just sex talk, we’re still just practicing, okay?”
Stretching, you roll away from his body, and he follows your body heat subconsciously, his body not wanting you far from him after almost a week of radio silence.
“Hey, get back here, you’re mine.”
“Oh am I?” you teased, staying just out of his reach.
He pouted, accent slipping out as he moved closer to your retreating body.
“Yes, you’re mine, no rules, no contracts; just mine.”
“ ‘m all yours, baby,” you mumbled as you rubbed your nose to his in an eskimo kiss as he gathered you up in his arms, “and you’re mine.”
UPDATE (5.18.21): 1st Prologue is Out Now!
BTW, ily ⟢ summary: Taking place in the To All the Men I’ve Fucked Before (TATMIFB) AU, this pre-story is the backstory to you and Namjoon’s friendship. A year after losing your virginity to Jungkook, you meet Namjoon, who becomes your best friend… and who you want so much more with. Before you and Jungkook get it together in To All the Men I’ve Loved Before, there was BTW, ily.
Thank you all so much for reading! I plan on doing an epilogue and some drabbles to get more insight into the pasts of these characters! I love them so much, I don’t think I am ready to let go. The masterlist will be updated as more are added! TATMIFB Masterlist
↣ all rights reserved © hisunshiine 2021. please do not repost. translations & modifications are not allowed.
#hisunshiine#hisunshiine event#hisunshiine writings#bts au#bta fic#bts story#bts fanfic#jungkook#bts v#jimin#j hope#suga#jin#bts rm#jungkook story#bts v story#jimin story#j hope story#suga story#jin story#bts rm story#Netflix ReImagined BTS#hisunshiinewritings#bts fic#bts fanfiction#to all the boys au#tatbilb au#TATMIFB#hisunshiine: TATMIFB
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The reaction of Yandere Hanma, Ran, Rindou, Sanzu and Shion upon seeing their y/n dead.
I don't really vibe with Shion I'm so sorry. Maybe I'll add a pt 2 once we get to know him a bit better? Also yeah I kinda left out the yandere part because I felt like it would be the same either way-
Yandere! Tokyo Revengers boys finding out you died
Characters: Hanma, Ran, Rindou, Sanzu
CW: death, angst, murder, blood, gore, drugs, overdose
Hanma
You were supposed to be home by now
He was waiting for hours. He brought home your favorite meal
The one you always annoy him for
He fuigered you deserved it for being so understanding with him lately
But you were supposed to be home.
He texted you a few times, asking if you were okay
No answer.
. . .
He waited.
He waited hours.
Why weren't you answering?
A horrible feeling bubbled in his gut.
Where were you?
He immediately ran out into the streets, going to the park you always took walks in
The park you told him your future kids would play in.
The park that was supposed to hold fond memories for both of you
The park where he saw you.
His body carried him as far as it could, straight to wear he saw the blond man sitting. "Kisaki." He huffed, knowing they were no longer on good terms. This was no longer the man who entertained him, no. This was the Kisaki who was a seasoned criminal. "Where are they?"
He didn't say anything, only passing Hanma his gun before walking away calmly. Your lover examined it closely, putting the safety on before checking the cartridge.
No bullets.
He looked down at the ground, seeing a small trail of blood that led into a bush. Horror filled his face as he searched, finally pulling your cold body out once he felt ready. His tears split onto your body as he kissed your face repeatedly, mumbling to you how much he loves you. "I'll get him.. I'll bring you back, baby. We still need our kids to play here, right? Right?"
Ran
He didn't see you.
That means it's his fault, right?
You followed him to a fight because Rindou said it was dangerous.
You only wanted a kiss before he left
So you followed him. He always asked for a kiss for "good luck", but he didn't ask today.
You were worried
So fucking worried.
What if your Ran died?
Unfortunately for you, a member Bonten had other ideas
They needed to protect Ran at all costs.
They saw you heading straight for Ran, what else were they supposed to do?
A loud scream interrupted Ran's small conversation with his brother, making him look over at you. ". . . (Y/n)?"
You were on the floor, gasping for air with a knife sticking out of your chest. Disgust filled his face as he ran towards you, not picking you up so that he wouldn't make the pain worse. As he leaned over you, one of your hands lazily held onto the side of his face. You were cold, so cold. "I love you, so please-" he was almost begging, lips pressed to your cheek as he spoke to you. "Please stay strong, dear."
"I love y..you too.. I came to gi..ve you your kiss.." you choked out, letting out a small laugh before coughing up blood onto his face accidentally. He didn't even seem to notice, he was too worried about you.
"As soon as you get out if the hospital.. will you marry me, my love?" . . . "(Y/n)?" . . . "Heh.. guess not, huh?" He finally broke down, letting his tears fall.
Rindou
He wasn't thinking
You were safe, weren't you?
You were still on the back of his motorcycle
He knew you were
Didn't he?
He could feel your body against his
The heat quickly leaving
He just wanted to take you for a ride
That's all he wanted.
So why did he hear a gunshot?
He kept driving. He kept going until there was at his and Rans door, stopping in the driveway and staring at the wall for a new minutes.
Someone tried to take his life.
Someone tried to take his life and you got in the way. You were still there, stuck holding on to your boyfriend. His cleared his throat before lifting you up, acting as if you were simply asleep. He took you into the house and layed you down on the couch, the same spot you usually sit when you go over. His lips traveled all over your face, trying to find any warmth left inside of you. As his hands carefully searched your body for the wound, he noticed only one.
Right through the heart.
His love was gone, and he didn't know what else to do.
Sanzu
He just wanted to to try it with him
Some new pill he was hooked on, insisting it was even better than MDMA.
He thought you looked so cute as your pupils blew out
So cute, Infact, that he wanted to give you more pills
Opioids.
He loved how cute you looked when you took them, so brain-dead and loose
He slipped it into your drink
He couldn't remember how many tablets
7? 9?
You both felt so at peace as you fell asleep, drug induced euphoria hiding the pain inside your body
He woke up hours later, still holding you in his warm arms. As he layed kisses on your shoulders, he expected you to wake up.
He flipped you over, hoping to steal some kisses from you.
Blue.
Your lips were blue. More blue than anything he'd ever seen before.
And he hated it.
The more he looked, the worse it got. Your fingers were blue too. He forced your eyes open only to see them glazed over. You weren't breathing and your body was freezing cold.
He couldn't accept it. You were still sleeping, right?
He forced more pills into your mouth, insisting that you'd wake up.
You had to.
He didn't have anyone else, you had to wake up.
Blue was his least favorite color. It's the same one you wore at your funeral, after all.
#tw drugs🐦#tw guns🐦#tw death🐦#tokrev#tokyo manji gang#tokyo manji revengers#tokyo revengers#hanma shuji#hanma x reader#ran haitani#ran haitani x reader#rindou haitani#rindou x reader#sanzu haruchiyo#sanzu x reader
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Dean Winchester be like:
I hate myself because it’s what my father taught me to do. I hate myself because it’s a defense mechanism. I use sarcasm to cover up the fact that I believe I am worthless. I raised my brother into a good man, that’s the only good I’ve ever done. I’ve saved some people, they don’t say thank you, but that’s okay. I wish I could have been the man my father wanted me to be. I break everything I touch. All the people I love I end up killing or leaving me. I am broken. I don’t do romantic love, it’s asking for me to get my heart broken, more broken than it already is. I sold my soul to a demon so I could save my brother, because he’s the best thing I ever did, the only good thing. I’m afraid to go to Hell, but I pretend I’m not, because what’s the alternative?
Hell proved that I was the person I always knew I was, a bad person, willing to torture to get out of pain. I met an angel, he’s not like I thought. He’s a soldier, like me, he’s taking orders from a father he can’t see. He starts out as an ally, but he’s different than the others, they say he likes me. He’s awkward, he stands too close to me sometimes. I started the Apocalypse because I wasn’t strong enough. My brother is going down the wrong path, and I don’t know how to stop it. The angels tell me Lucifer has to rise, but the one that pulled me out of Hell disobeys to help me stop it. I think I should consider him a friend. Lucifer rises anyway.
The angel is on the run from Heaven, he’s a good guy, I like him a lot, more than I think I should. I don’t know what to do, if I say yes to Michael, we can save some people. Maybe I’ll get to know peace, maybe my father will be proud of me then. The angel and my brother are angry at me, but I’ve always been a coward, they just don’t know it. But they know me best, I can’t say yes to Michael if it means disappointing them.
My brother goes to the cage with Lucifer and Michael, the angel disappears, and I’m left to pick up the pieces, living a life I feel like I stole from somebody else. I always sleep with a gun and holy water under the bed, even though I know every entrance is secure. My brother comes back, but he’s different now, he’s not the same, I should have looked for him. I feel guilty. We found out his soul is gone, his soul, his soul. The angel is back, but he’s no real help. I kill myself to speak to Death, who brings back his soul in exchange for me playing Death, where I learn a few hard lessons.
I find out the angel has been working with our enemies. Why does it feel like my heart is broken when he won’t meet my eyes? I leave him to the demons, but not before one last look. I’m not sure why. The idiot, he ends up dying trying to get souls from Purgatory, desperate to win his war in Heaven. Why does everyone leave me? The Leviathan are out there, a new threat. At least I know how to kill, so I won’t have to think about the muddy trenchcoat in the trunk of my car. I lose the closest thing I have to a father with a bullet to the brain. I feel like I’m spinning out of control. My brother loses his mind. The angel comes back, he doesn’t recognize me, that hurts. When he does remember me, I tell him we need him, but I really mean that I do.
I get sent to Purgatory, I meet a vampire turned ally turned new best friend, but I won’t leave without the angel, I can’t leave without the angel. We find him, he was running from me, why does everyone run from me? We make it out of Purgatory, the angel gets left behind. It turns out my brother didn’t look for me. Why am I so dispensable? The vampire is the only one I can trust now. I dream about the angel, about the way I couldn’t save him. I feel like I can’t save anyone these days. I see the angel in the air around me, am I going crazy? But then he shows up behind me, why do I care so much about him? I don’t even care where he came from, as long as he’s here. My brother takes on trials, they start to hurt him. We find a place to call home. I’ve never had my own bedroom before. The angel is distant, I wish I could reach him. He doesn’t answer my prayers. He and I find the angel tablet, he hits me. I tell him I need him, never able to tell him that I think I might love him too. He snaps out of it then walks out of my life again. I wish I was lovable. I almost lose my brother to the trials, he has to know I can’t lose him, he’s all I’ve got. The angels fall, I wonder about my angel, if he’s alright.
My brother is dying, and I make a deal with an angel to save him. My angel says he’s a good guy, and I’m too desperate to vet him properly. I watch my angel, now a human, die in front of me, the angel in my brother saves him, it’s one of the only times I’ve ever put someone else over my brother. I feel guilty about that. I have to kick my angel out, it tears me in half to do it, but I have to protect my brother. I watch the angel from a gas station window, I try to find the courage to go see him. I use humor to hide how much I miss him. My brother finds out about the angel, which cost the life of a kid I was supposed to protect, he’s so angry at me. Well, I deserve it this time. I take the Mark of Cain to defeat Abaddon, it can’t be all that bad. I start to lose my grip on myself. My angel gives up an army for me, and it’s the closest I feel to being me in months. My brother and my angel try to stop it, but it’s too late. I die in my brother’s arms.
I wake up with black eyes. I don’t care about anyone, anything. There’s a tiny part of me that’s screaming to wake up, but I drown him out easily enough. My brother finds me, says he wants to cure me. I don’t want it, I don’t want to be me, not feeling is the best thing that’s ever happened to me. They do cure me though, my brother and my angel, and waking up from the blackness is like surfacing from deep water. For a while, I feel loved. But after what I did, I don’t feel like I deserve it. I’m still not me, and when my friend, who I loved like a sister is taken, I go off the deep end again. It’s too easy, but violence is all I know. The angel tries to stop me. I have him where I want him, a blade to the heart and this is all over. But I still can’t kill him, I still can’t kill the angel. Death tells me I have to kill my brother. I almost do it. But killing Death releases me, and I’m me again. Sometimes I still wish I wasn’t.
I have this connection to this Darkness. It scares the hell out of me. I wish I understood it, I wish I could stop it. Am I pulled towards the Darkness because I, myself, am darkness? Is it because I am, because I’ve always been bad? I lose the angel to Lucifer himself, how did I not notice until it was too late? Why would he leave me like this? Will I ever get him back? My head is foggy around the Darkness, but not when it comes to him. I just wish I could get through to him. Lucifer taunts me, my heart rips in half. We get the angel back, but nothing good can last in this life, can it? God himself returns, I have to sacrifice myself to stop the Darkness. I’ll do it, because of course I will, if I have an opportunity to do some good, I’ll take it. The Darkness doesn’t kill me. She thanks me.
My mother is alive. It’s everything I’ve always wanted. I have to learn fast that she’s not what I thought. That’s hard. Me and my brother end up in prison for trying to kill Lucifer, and we find out this girl is going to have his kid. How will we kill someone innocent? I can’t think about that, I’m a killer, I’ll kill if i have to. The angel kills a reaper to save me, but what will happen to him? We start looking for this kid, but do we even want to find it? The angel nearly dies for me, he tells me, my family he loves us. I wish I could tell him the same, but the words won’t work right in my brain, so I do what I always do, I look away. The angel finds the girl, but the kid inside her gets to him, and he runs away from me. Why does everyone run from me? We find them just in time to find a rift to another world, and my brother has to drag me away from the angel, who is going to sacrifice himself to kill Lucifer. He comes back, but before I can say the words I’ve been holding onto for so long, he dies in front of me, only this time, it’s real. My mom is taken from me too, and I’m left by the angel’s side, staring up at the sky, wondering why, why me?
I bury the angel, my brother insists we can’t kill the kid, even though it’s his fault my mom is gone and the angel is... I beg God to bring him back, please, bring him back. You owe me this, please bring him back. He doesn’t listen. I’m alone. We burn the angel, and I try to learn to live with regret and grief and crippling pain all at once. I hate the kid, this is his fault. I kill myself again to save some souls, but also because I want to die this time. I can’t take it anymore. Death tells me I have work to do, but how much more work can there be? How much more can I take? It’s like the Universe reads my mind, because my angel comes back, and it’s like the last few weeks haven’t happened. I still can’t say the words, but maybe this time I’ll get there. Maybe this time. We go to the other world, we save some people, I find my mom. I let another Michael from the other world possess me to defeat Lucifer, but then I can’t expel him. Before he shuts me in my memories, I am desperately afraid.
My brother and the angel find me in my own head, the snap me out of it. I should have known this bar was too good for me, I knew I didn’t deserve it. I shut Michael in there, but I know I won’t last long. I think I’m too weak to hold him, so I build a box designed to hold me forever. I dream about it, claw the sides of the wall until my nails are bloody, but if it’s my eternity or Michael’s rule? I’ll take the ocean every time. The angel will always try to save me, I still can’t say the words. The kid, my kid, he destroys Michael, but something is wrong, and I don;t realize until it’s too late. My mother is dead, at the hands of the kid, and I have never been angrier. I hate the kid again, I hate the angel too, I hate myself more. I pull a gun on the kid, but I still can’t pull the trigger. Sometimes I wish I could put it to my own head. God comes back, turns out he was the villain all along. Typical. He kills our kid. I can’t let myself feel.
The angel tries to convince me that we’re real. How can I believe that? Is everything I am just a story? Have I ever chosen anything? Does the angel really care about me? Do I really care about him? Another one of our friends dies. I blame the angel, I push him away, because I can’t look at him if I think what I feel for him might not be real. I meet up with someone I loved. He’s a monster now, I have to kill him. He dies holding me. I wish I was dead sometimes too. My brother is sick, he gets kidnapped by God. I’m spinning in circles. Me and the angel end up in Purgatory again. He gets taken from me. I’m so alone, so scared, I break down in the one place I could get lost in forever searching for the angel, I don’t want to leave him, please, don’t make me leave him. I have to keep looking, get back to the real world to save my brother. How will I choose? Thank god, or, whatever, I find the angel. I’ll tell him this time, but he stops me. He must know. He doesn’t want me, no one wants me. Why would they? Chuck has taken everything from me. I have to kill him, no matter the cost. The cost is gonna be our kid, raised from the dead by Death. I guess the one thing we have going for us is we don’t stay dead for long. I’m ready to let my kid die for my freedom. My brother stands in the way, I pull a gun on him. He talks me down, he’s the only one that can. I decide to take it out on Death, my pain, my anger, my rage. I take the angel and we find her, she chases us. Another trap. I realize that I’ve trapped us both. Why am I so worthless?
The angel looks at me. He smiles. He tells me how worthy I am, that I’m good, that I changed him. How can I tell him how he changed me. He tells me he’ll die for loving me. Then he shouldn’t, I’m not worth his life. Don’t leave me, please, I can’t lose you, you don’t know what it does it me when you leave me. He tells me he loves me. I try to tell him a fraction of the things I feel for him, but it’s too late. He’s taken before my eyes, and this time I know there’s no getting him back.
I’m left on the floor, unable to move.
This time I know, I’ll never let myself love again, because my heart is so shattered that it’s powdered, there’s no repairing it now. I’ve always been broken, but this time I’m not just broken: I’m destroyed.
#so uh yeah idk what this is#dean#spn#my writing#supernatural#dean winchester#destiel#im so sorry????? idk where this came from#I have never loved anyone the way I love him
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Prince Charming (Loki x Reader)- Part 6
I am apologizing for this part up front. It was heartbreaking to write but sometimes the characters in your head just get what they want! Please forgive me!
Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3 / Part 4 / Part 5
Summary: You and Loki deal with the outcome from the ball in your own ways.
Mischief Makers: @ruiningthe1975 @valiantvoidpoetry @nms224 @youlightmeupfinn @salempoe @lokiprompts @oasiswithmyg @saltandapepper @chwlogy @clockblobber @locht3ssmonster
It was early the next morning when you woke up, even though it hadn’t been too long since you had finally fallen asleep. You could hear the tablet vibrating in the drawer until the early morning hours. Part of you felt guilt, but what was there to say to him? If you kept up the charade, he would just want to meet in person again. Without a mask, he would surely recognize you this time. The fact that he had spent the entire evening with you dancing, talking, and joking without truly seeing you told you everything you needed to know. It wasn’t really you that he was in love with. Loki was in love with the woman he met online, not his best friend that was practically invisible to him in all the ways that mattered. It had all come back full circle and you were back to moving on all over again.
With a groan, you pushed the blankets back and threw on a hoodie before making your way down to the kitchen for a very strong cup of coffee. Just as you turned the corner, you saw him sitting on a barstool at the island. Based on the messages you heard coming through, he most likely didn’t sleep a wink last night. As you rounded the island towards the coffee pot, his face confirmed your suspicions. Loki’s face was expressionless. He stared off into the distance and didn’t even see you standing there. Just as you opened your mouth to tell him good morning, Natasha and Wanda walked in from their early morning work out. Their faces lit up at the sight of the two of you together and they didn’t give you the chance to stop them before Nat spoke.
“Well, well. Look who we have here! I guess the ball went well then?”
Luckily, Loki never looked up from the cup of coffee in front of him to see you frantically shaking your head at the two of them, causing a couple of confused looks in return. His voice was low and sad.
“I thought it went well, but now I’m not so sure. I can’t get my date to respond now.”
He looked up at you with a curious look.
“I didn’t know you attended the ball, Bug. I never saw you. Did you attend with your Boy Toy?”
Wanda’s eyebrows shot up as she took a sip from the coffee she had just poured before joining Nat at the end of the island. She was a little more subtle compared to Nat who stood with her arms crossed over her chest and looked back and forth between you and the god in front of you with a frustrated and confused expression.
“Oh… umm… he couldn’t make it. I just hung out around here instead. So, tell me more about this date of yours…”
The two women turned their attention towards him and waited for his answer. He looked back down at his coffee cup again before continuing, completely oblivious to the looks he was being given in the moment.
“She was incredible. It was the first time we had met in person but I felt like I had known her forever for some reason. She was funny, sarcastic, adorable yet sexy, and was more than I ever imagined. Apparently she recognized me since she called me by my name at one point, but it didn’t seem to bother her though. Sadly, I never got her name in return. Well, not exactly. She said that I already knew her but I can’t seem to place her. Now, I can’t get her to respond to any of my messages begging her to tell me her identity.”
Natasha rolled her eyes before shaking her head at him. You shot her a look to knock it off before continuing the conversation with him.
“I’m sorry, Mischief. Maybe it will come to you how you know this mystery woman.”
With a look of defeat, he shook his head as he stood and pushed away from the island.
“Perhaps. I truly thought we had a connection, or at least I felt one each time we kissed… I guess time will tell.”
Upon Wanda choking on the sip of coffee she had been drinking, he finally looked up at acknowledge the three of you.
“Sorry. Wrong pipe…”
You looked down at the floor as they watched Loki leave the room and head down the hall. Once he was out of sight, they finally let their thoughts and reactions out. They bantered back and forth about how much of an idiot he was and how blind he was until Nat looked up at you and saw the tears forming in your eyes.
“Babe… are you okay?”
The shake of your head was all it took and they came and hugged you as the crying started all over again.
“He never saw me. We danced. We talked for HOURS. I even dropped hints and everything. How could he not recognize me? The mask did nothing to disguise my voice or my personality. Do I mean that little to him? The longer the night went on, the more I was afraid to tell him. I was too hurt. Part of me thought that maybe by this morning, he would figure it out. Loki messaged me all night but I never even read anything past the first one. It hurt too much.”
Wanda smoothed your hair and brought your face up from Nat’s shoulder to look at her.
“Did Loki say he kissed you?”
You gave her a sad smile as you nodded your head. Pulling away from Natasha, you leaned back against the counter and wiped the tears from your cheeks.
“Twice actually. It was amazing and everything I hoped it would be. Well… except for the whole him not actually kissing ME thing.”
It was her turn to hug you.
“I’m so sorry sweetie. What are you going to do now?”
“I’m not sure exactly. I obviously can’t keep talking to him as Chaos. Do I let him down gently? Do I just not respond? How can I possibly be the supportive best friend and help him get over ME? This whole thing is just a mess now.”
You made your self a bowl of cereal and sat down in the chair he had previously occupied. After a few minutes, Wanda spoke up again.
“Sweetie, no matter what you do at this point, things won’t be the same anymore. Even if he doesn’t know, you do. It’s impossible to go back to the friendship you two had before. Hell, if it was as great as you described, you don’t go back to being just friends after a kiss like that. Loki needs to know it’s you and then just go from there.”
It had been a few weeks since the ball, yet she had never responded to him. Loki had spent night after night rereading their conversations for any detail he might have missed. For the first few days, he had begged and pleaded and received nothing in return. He had finally let himself believe that she was never real.
Unable to sleep, he quietly made his way down the hall towards the kitchen. He was surprised to see someone else awake at this hour until he heard her softly humming as she poured herself a cup of hot tea.
“Hello, Bug. Can’t sleep either?”
His voice startled you slightly. In the weeks following the ball, the two of you had talked just as rarely as you had in the previous months. Looking back now, you both had been too preoccupied with talking to each other online to talk face to face anymore. It had started to become strange now after so many years of being all each other had.
“Yeah. There’s still some water left in the kettle if you want some tea too.”
Loki nodded and got up from the barstool and made his way around to it once you finished preparing yours. With your mug in hand, you made your way to the other side of the island and watched him. Over the last few weeks, you had tried to build up the courage to tell him. The longer you put it off, the harder it was becoming, especially when you saw how sad he had been. Now would be as best a time as any. No one else was awake at this hour to interrupt you two and it would give you privacy to figure this whole thing out. Wanda had been right. Your relationship had changed now. Taking a deep breath, you tried to ease into the subject.
“Hey… umm… did you ever figure out the whole mystery girl thing?”
You watched his head dip as he braced himself against the counter. Guilt flooded your gut. His voice was low, but he continued preparing his tea instead of looking back at you.
“I’ve given up on that endeavor unfortunately. Looking back on it, it ended up being a meaningless interaction to be quite honest…”
It felt like a knife to the heart. He had given up figuring out who you were? Just like that? You thought it had hurt when he didn’t recognize you, but this pain didn’t even compare. There had been a sliver of hope that if he found out her identity that he love you back. Loki no longer cared about his mystery girl. Maybe he had never actually fallen in love like you thought. Knowing it was you wouldn’t change anything now. For the second time, Loki wasn’t going to return your feelings for him. It’s words from the night you invited him to the ball echoed through your mind. Any feelings you had would be returned ten fold? Hardly.
Remaining his best friend was out of the question now. Part of you thought that if he never knew the truth, that the two of you could go back to normal but you were far from that. The fact that he truly didn’t know it was you standing in front of him tainted the years of friendship. It was still your voice, your words, your movements, your actions. One small mask to hide half of your face and Loki no longer saw you. You loved him with every fiber of your being, and he had never seen you standing there.
You faked a cough to hide the sob that escaped.
“Oh…o-okay… that’s probably for the best then”
He nodded and still didn’t look at you. With his back towards you, he never saw the tears streaming down your face or the still steaming mug abandoned on the kitchen island.
#loki smut#loki fluff#loki laufeyson#loki fanfic#loki fandom#loki angst#tom hiddleston smut#tom hiddleston fluff#tom hiddleston angst#tom hiddleston fanfic#tom hiddleston fanfiction#marvel#prince charming#friends to lovers
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Lost and then Found pt. I
Imagine being taken by HYDRA. After years with them, they set you loose on someone you haven't seen in a while. Unfortunately for HYDRA, you weren't as susceptible to their mind experiments like they thought.
Words: 8.6K
Author's Note: Major trigger warning! There will be a bit of talk about non-consensual pregnancies and some failed pregnancies from said attempts. Also I didn’t want to post this, but this upcoming week is going to be stressful for me and I honestly don’t know how much writing I’ll get done. Please read the bottom note for help on hopefully part 2 of this.
Tag list: @aya-fay @70s-chic @sipsteacasually @kaitlyn2907 @scarlettwitch99 @thingsforimagination @b1sexualtonystark @living-that-best-life @alexnicolaidisss @l0ve-0f-my-life @eliwinchester99 @mimilh @rosesloml @meredeph @lexy9716
The team had been hanging around various floors of the tower when FRIDAY alerted everyone that they were needed in the meeting room ASAP. And when FRIDAY sounded urgent, the team knew it must be serious. Leaving the gym, Steve and Bucky run into Clint and Natasha who had been coming out of the locker rooms.
"Any idea what's going on?" Bucky asks Nat.
She shakes her head. "FRIDAY wouldn't cough up any more information. I contacted Tony, but he just urged me to get my ass moving."
As they wait for the elevator, the doors slide open and they nod to Wanda who's already standing in the back corner. With her arms crossed over her chest, she nods to each of her teammates as they file in. Ever since she had lost Vision, she hadn't been quite herself and everyone knew to give her whatever time she needed.
In the meeting room, the atmosphere is immediately tense. Sam is at the table and as a testament to how serious the situation is he doesn't even crack a joke the second he lays eyes on Bucky. Everyone takes a seat, with the exception of Tony who's still pacing at the front of the room with a tablet in his hand.
"Tony," Steve calls out. "What's going on?"
A moment passes and then Tony stops at the head of the table, looking up. "This." He swipes up on his tablet screen, sending a video hologram to the middle of the table so everyone can see. "This came in about fifteen minutes ago."
The video plays and the team watches on in shocked speechlessness. The video shows a young girl who couldn't have yet been a teenager be strapped down to a gurney and injected with several different vials. They listen as the poor girl screams and thrashes, and sobs about burning on the inside.
The video cuts out before popping up again and shows the same girl, a little older this time, and having a mouth piece shoved into her small mouth before a contraption is lowered around her head. Eyes dart to Bucky and no one says a word as his metal arm whirs when he watches the young girl go through something very similar to what he went through. As she screams, the video cuts out again yet again.
Everyone had been so focused on Bucky's reaction, that no one paid any attention to Wanda as her eyes widened when the video came back for a third round. The girl on screen is definitely older now, her baby fat has all but vanished, and she looks defeated. Her hair hangs in limp strands around her face and there's a collar around her neck that Wanda knows gives off one hell of a shock to the person wearing it when they disobeyed orders. An older male walks into view and the girl cowers away. She winces, her hands flying up to the collar around her neck. "Begin," a voice then sounds. The male lunges for the small female and she tries her best to fend off his blows, but she ends up beaten and bloodied within thirty seconds. At the end of the fight the man is given instructions and then he walks over to the girl, kneeling down and biting her around the wrist. She screams, the man takes a bullet to the back of the head, and the video cuts out.
This time when the video comes back, the girl looks a little more steadier on her feet and less beaten down. She looks ready for a fight. Towards the end of the clip she has bloodied, pointed fingertips. She's shoved back into a chair and that's when her emotionless mask drops, begging to not be wiped. She screams as they start the procedure and then by the end of it there are no more tears. There's just an emotionless female awaiting orders as the video cuts out.
Finally the last clip shows her fighting like she's been doing it for years, taking down one attacker after the other until she's the last one left standing. There's a sharp whistle and the girl stands at attention, and the video zooms in on her stoic expression before cutting out altogether.
"Who sent this, Tony?" Steve readily asks.
"Don't know. I have FRIDAY chasing an IP address that just keeps pinging in every part of the world."
"Do we even know who she is?" Natasha asks. "And what the whole point of this video was?"
"No. Not a cl-"
"Her name is Y/N." Everyone looks to Wanda who can't take her gaze off her hands in her lap. "She was already there with HYDRA when Pietro and I showed up so long ago."
"Willingly?" Clint wonders.
Wanda shakes her head. "When we had gotten there, she had just turned nineteen. She was already stronger than the average human, but we never truly saw what she could do. She was different." She finally looks up, expression sad. "HYDRA was not all that we thought it would be, but by then there was no turning back. We'd seen Y/N around base, but she was always so stoic and never spoke to anyone. But when we had one on one time with her and the guards would leave us under her care, it was like a switch had flipped within her. She was so much lighter and she spoke to us like we had been friends since we were children."
"Why didn't we find her the first time we met you and your brother?" Tony then asks.
"She had been gone for weeks by then. They told us she was killed on a mission they sent her on, and that me and Pietro were going to be the new fists of HYDRA."
"The last video was stamped a week ago," Bucky says. "HYDRA lied."
Sam huffs. "Of course they did."
"They must have seen you, your brother, and Y/N getting friendly. They couldn't have their best weapons socializing and turning against them," Bucky says.
Clint sighs. "So what's the plan?"
"We get her back," Wanda says, leaving no room for Tony or Steve to say otherwise. "She was forcefully taken, unlike Pietro and I. She does not belong with them."
"It's been years, Wanda," Natasha says softly. "She might not be the same girl you knew."
"But what if she is? She is the only family I have left."
For a long moment no one says anything, so Tony takes it upon himself. "Then we look for her, but you're responsible for getting through to her. She'll only know you, not us."
"Fine."
Steve and Tony talk a bit more about being prepared for when FRIDAY tracks down their target, and then everyone is being dismissed.
Wanda takes a moment, letting everyone get up and walk out first, when Clint walks up behind her chair. Placing a hand on her shoulder, he leans down some to say, "Y/N is not your only family, kid. We're your family too." Wanda's heart cracks just a little and she reaches up to cover Clint's hand with her own to let him know she understands. "Just keep that in mind in case we don't find Y/N or she's no longer who she used to be."
Wanda gulps and then nods. "I will."
Working for HYDRA has been absolute hell. Ever since you had been taken as a little girl you were hell-bent on getting out of there which meant doing anything and everything to be in their good graces. Obviously you didn't learn to do so until you were sixteen and had most of your emotions under control.
They experimented and tortured and even tried their mind wipes like they did on their beloved Winter Soldier, but surprisingly your mind was never empty like they hoped to be. Of course, though, you kept that little detail to yourself wipe after wipe. But after everything that went on while you were in their grasp and after whatever they turned you into, you realized you couldn't quite leave and turn yourself loose on the public while you had no control over what you could do.
So you stayed and obeyed like a good little soldier, and attempted to train their new little puppets. Only being left alone with Wanda and Pietro became the one thing you started looking forward to up until they told you the twins didn't survive one of the trials. You had been heartbroken and devastated, but you couldn't let them see. So you nodded, let them move you to another facility and began anew.
You lost yourself within HYDRA, honing your skills and becoming someone even the other soldiers started to become wary of. The mind wipes became less and less the more obedient you became, but then they had a new mission for you- a mission which made your loathing for them hit an all time high.
You've been sitting in solitary for weeks now, biding your time until you could break free and get the hell out of dodge. All morning you've been antsy and it only becomes worse when you can feel the tension mounting all around you.
The door opens and you immediately snap to attention, but the guard that comes in does not have a lunch tray in his hands. Instead, he has a uniform which he readily tosses at you. "Get dressed. You've got a mission."
You quietly snarl at the guard after catching your suit and his hand immediately goes to the electrical prod at his side. "Careful," you drawl. "You wouldn't want your superiors to find out you injured their most prized possession."
His right eye twitches and he lets his hand fall limp. "The clock's ticking on your life, bitch, and when it's up I'll happily put you down."
"We'll just see about that."
The guard turns around and stomps away so he's standing just outside your door, and you hurriedly strip to get dressed in the apparent new uniform. The material for the pants are thin and fit like a glove, but you've worn these before and you know they're impenetrable to blades. Your boots are standard issued, but the long sleeve shirt- the shirt gives you pause because of the padding that's been added to it.
Once you're dressed and your hair has been tied up, you march up behind the soldier and readily clasp your hands behind your back to await orders.
Emotionless mask in place, you're led out and about the base. Everyone seems to be in a tizzy and the smell of gunpowder and blood is thick in the air. You can hear the gunshots and shouting from behind closed doors several rooms away, and you're not surprised that that's exactly where you're led.
The General meets you outside one room in particular and he dismisses your guard with a wave of his hand. You bite your tongue to keep from smiling at the fact the guard grumbles at being dismissed so easily.
"Ah my dear Y/N," the General coos. "Come. We've got several mice trapped and we need you to rid us of them once and for all." You blankly blink at him, nodding once to let him know you understand your mission.
The second he turns around to enter the code for the room, your shoulders drop just a bit and you attempt to put yourself in the mindset of fighting once again. The door slides open and you follow like an obedient little soldier, only to stop short at the sight of the assembled heroes standing on the opposite end of the room. One in particular stands out, her scent hitting you like a freight train and you have to try your hardest not to show an inkling of knowledge about who she is.
You stand next to, but an inch or so behind, the General's left side with your hands still clasped behind your back and feet shoulder width apart as you stare straight ahead. You're trying your damnedest to focus on the red, white, and blue shield Captain America is holding out before him, and not show any recognition for Wanda who is desperately calling out to you in hopes of recognizing her.
You block out what the General is saying, no doubt gloating about your skills, and zone back in just as he gives what he thinks is a command you're programmed to obey. With your right foot planted, you take a step back with a left and flick your wrists out at your sides so claws unsheathe themselves. You can hear several heartbeats pick up speed and you finally meet Wanda's gaze. She seems to still as you offer her the faintest of grins and send her a wink, only to twist on your right foot a moment later and send your clawed left hand into the throat of the General.
The Avengers all tense and prepare for a battle as the General gurgles on his own blood, and you lean in close to his ear so you can say, "Your first mistake was taking me from my family when I was just a little girl." He tries to pull your hand from his throat, but he is no match for your strength. Growling, you squeeze your hand that's still embedded in his throat. "And your last mistake was reintroducing me to Wanda, and giving me hope." Just as the alarms start to blare, you rip the General's throat out and let his limp body fall.
"Y/N?"
You glance up, smirking at Wanda and her wide-eyed expression. "Hello, little Maximoff." You flick your hand free of some of the blood and then smile at her companions. "Avengers." You nod at them in greeting.
"You remember."
You blink at her, not bothering to answer the obvious. Instead, you can hear walkie talkies going haywire outside the room and you turn around to glance up at the windows where you know others are watching. You mockingly wave at them with your bloodied hand and start pacing in the middle of the room, putting Wanda and the Avengers at your back. Looking up at the window, you let your smirk drop into a scowl. "You think you can take me from my family, torture and brainwash me, and then sic me on the only other family I've ever known?" You yell, seething. Cracking your neck, you let your rage take over and feel the bones shift uncomfortably in your face. Even your eyes burn and you know they're flaring an electric blue. "You're fools for thinking you could control me."
You feel a soft pressure on your wrist and immediately turn to growl at the person who dares touch you, but you lower your head in shame when you see it's just Wanda. She softly gasps and you try to turn away. "What did they do to you?" She asks as she gently grasps you by the chin to make you face her once more.
"What they do best?" You mumble, sharp teeth catching on your bottom lip. "They turned me into a monster."
Wanda's voice catches in her throat, but before she can say anything you're facing the door and stepping in front of her to shield her. Seven soldiers rush in, electrical prods gripped tight in hand.
"Why don't they have any guns?" You hear one of the Avengers ask.
"They must want her alive," someone else answers.
"If you don't stand down, we're going to have to resort to drastic measures," one HYDRA agent says.
"Then resort to them," you growl, "because now that I know Wanda is alive you're gonna have to kill one of us just to separate us again."
Wanda steps up next to you then, hands slowly rotating at the wrists as red energy floats around them. "And trust me, I am not so easily killed."
You can sense the Avengers all stepping into line behind you, but you don't bother looking at them. Instead, you focus on the threat in front of you and the fact they have more people gathering outside once the first line falls. Then from one second to the next, there's a silent command that sends the HYDRA agents into fight mode.
You break off from Wanda, drawing a few agents towards you. Your fighting skills come into play and it's easy for you to either block or withstand the shock of the electrical prods. However, the agents are not so lucky since you're going in for the kill. If you're not kicking in knees and snapping necks, your claws and teeth are digging into throats and ripping out flesh. You're roaring and snarling, and scaring most of the agents you come into contact with, but there are a select few which are all too happy to disobey orders and engage you in physical combat.
You take quite a few hits to the face and sides, and for a moment you're worried, but you have to push through and worry later.
You're not sure how long the fight lasts, but all you know is hat the last agent you claw until he's gurgling on his own blood is the last one to go down. Panting and heaving, electric blue eyes scan the room. All the Avengers are still standing, most of them don't even look like they participated in the fight, but all are watching you with wary eyes.
Wanda steps in your direction and you growl, but then stop the moment her hands go up to show you she means no harm. "It's over," she tells you, her accent heavy and reminding you of so long ago when you first took her under your wing. "If you want to leave, you need to calm down. My team has no idea who you are and you being so hostile makes them nervous."
"Team?" The word rumbles through your throat as your gaze jumps from person to person. "But where's Pietro?"
When your gaze lands back on Wanda, she's smiling softly. But that smile soon wobbles as she shakes her head. "He died a while back. I'm sorry."
You shake your head as you take a step back and Wanda quickly closes the distance between the two of you. She wraps her arms around until you lower your head to her shoulder and you sniffle quietly. "I'm sorry."
"It's okay. He died a hero," she says. "We saw the error of our ways and the Avengers took us in." You finally allow yourself to wrap your arms around her, breathing her in and calming your rage. When you feel yourself sag against her, you finally pick up your head and smile as she runs a finger down the bridge of your nose. "There you are."
"M'sorry."
"For?"
"For you having to see me that way. I didn't even know you were alive and then they just told me to dress and take care of a mice problem they had. I didn't know it was the Avengers."
"It's okay," Wanda assures you. "You did the right thing."
"Um, I hate to break up this crazy reunion, but we need to go."
You glance at the man with wings and nod. "That would be a good idea. They'll send more soldiers soon."
Captain America glances at Wanda. "Get her to the quinjet. We're gonna do a sweep of the base before bringing it down."
Wanda gives him a nod and then she's urging you to follow her. You follow her through the winding hallways and an elevator ride up to the surface, and you huff a quiet laugh when you see the destruction left in the Avengers' wake. Off in the distance there's a jet and Wanda wastes no time in leading you up the ramp, and onto a seat.
"Just wait right here." She rushes towards a door and you're surprised a small bathroom sits behind it. She grabs what appears to be a hand towel from inside and then walks over behind the cockpit of the jet, grabbing a bottle of water from inside a bench seat. Then walking back over to you, she gestures to your face. "You've got a lot of blood."
"Oh." You take the towel and water, and quickly wet the towel to start wiping off your face and hands. There's nothing you can do for your clothes, so you leave them be.
As you wait for the others to return, you fidget in your seat and exhale softly as you catch Wanda's gaze. "What made you guys hit this specific base?" You wonder. "They're usually very careful about the comings and goings so they didn't attract the wrath of the Winter Soldier."
Wanda smiles and takes a seat across from you. "Bucky has been going on a world tour of tearing down HYDRA bases in his free time. We think HYDRA got tired of it and wanted to lure us into a trap, so they sent us a video of you."
You frown. "Why me? And what video?"
"They wanted me to rush in and not be at one hundred percent, hoping I'd make a mistake," she says. "Bucky and Natasha believe HYDRA saw us getting close, so they separated us and told us the other had died so we'd follow them faithfully. And when they sent that video, I was stunned. I wanted to rush in and bring you home, but the team made me take a beat." Having stood up halfway through her explanation, Wanda had retrieved a tablet and tapped away at it. Handing it to you, you find a paused video on screen.
Pressing play, you watch yourself be tortured and experimented on, and taught to kill. You wrinkle your nose at how young you were and how sickly you were at one point until they found a method that took and made you what you currently are. You're so caught up in the video that you aren't paying attention to your surroundings and are surprised to see the Avengers walking up the ramp.
"Done already?" Wanda asks.
"All we have to do is detonate once we're up in the air."
Wanda exhales in relief and you meet the gaze of several Avengers who don't know what to think of you after seeing you rip through the HYDRA soldiers like it was nothing. To break the ice, you say the first thing that pops into your mind. "So that was fun."
Iron Man snorts as he walks on by, heading straight for the cockpit. "Great. Another murder-happy supersoldier."
"Uhh, I'm not a supersoldier," you say. The rest of the team glances at you and you go on to explain. "On the video, you all saw the man bite me. Right?" There are various forms of acknowledgement. "Well that's what turned me into what I am. A bite."
"A bite from what?" Black Widow wonders.
You shrug. "The best I can come up with is a werewolf."
Hawkeye snorts, but at your no nonsense expression he sobers up. "Oh. Uh, those exist?"
"I'm assuming so," you say. "I get extra rage-y during a full moon, so I'll probably have to be chained up when the next one comes around." Wanda looks startled at your confession, but you flash her a small grin. "It's fine. I'm used to it by now."
Everyone takes a moment before either taking a seat or steadying themselves, and then there's lift off. The quinjet rises higher and higher until it hovers mid-air. Captain America walks towards the cock-pit and after giving the all-clear you can hear a distant boom and concrete caving inward.
"Well that's another base down," Captain America says.
Exhaling in relief, you allow your eyes to close and relish the feeling of being free. Your moment of peace, however, is short lived when you feel eyes on you. Opening them, Captain America and the Winter Soldier are sitting across from you now. Wanda has taken the seat next to you and you smile as she lays her head on your shoulder.
"I know you've been through a lot, but we have some things we'd like to discuss," the good Captain says.
You nod. "Ask away."
"They wiped you over and over," the Winter Soldier says matter of factly. "Why didn't it take?"
"I honestly have no idea," you admit. "The first time, it took. I didn't know who I was or where I was."
"How did you break out of it?"
"Something one of the doctors said triggered a memory from when I was younger and it just snowballed from there. I started remembering, but a few months after that I was wiped again. The second time didn't take quite so well, but I still forgot. I just knew there was something missing and slowly but surely it started coming back," you say. "But then after I was bitten, the mind wipes completely stopped working. It hurt like hell and I learned to fake it until I could find a way out of there."
"We didn't find much on you," the Winter Soldier says. "Their computers were already self-destructing, but we did manage to find a book where they wrote down your trigger words. You don't mind if we say them to make sure you're telling the truth?"
Wanda's head immediately snaps up, no doubt ready to tell them to back off, and you grin at her protectiveness. "It's fine." She then turns to look at you in shock and you wave her off. "Honestly, it's fine. They don't work. I should seriously win an Oscar for best actress."
Hawkeye and the Black Widow stand on either side of Captain America and the Winter Soldier, and he slowly reads the words aloud after opening the book. "Blue. Full moon. Bitten. Beta. Wolf. Red."
Everyone seems to hold their breath and the corner of your lips quirk into a grin. "Still doubting me?"
Captain America huffs. "That's unbelievable."
"You've fought aliens and Asgardian princes, Captain. My broken mind should be the least unbelievable thing."
"Steve. My name's Steve," he says. "And you're not broken." Your grin falters as you blink at him in surprise. "And this is Bucky." The Winter Soldier nods at you and you return the sentiment.
"Clint," Hawkeye says.
"Natasha."
"Sam."
"And I'm Tony Stark, but I'm sure you knew that."
"Uh, sure," you slowly muse. When he squawks and turns around his seat, you huff a small laugh. "Of course I know who you are. I know who you all are thanks to HYDRA and their obsession with you. I just wasn't privy to the fact that Wanda was part of the team until now."
They take your word for it and now that with the knowledge that the trigger words do nothing to you, it seems to bring some ease to the group and everyone finally settles in. According to Wanda the jet ride is going to take a bit so you might as well make yourself comfortable.
About twenty minutes into the ride, you shift uncomfortably in your seat. You chalk it up to the fact the seats aren't really that comfortable to begin with, but when you move to stretch your back a little you feel a pang just to the right side of your abdomen. The pain causes you to still and when it lingers you close your eyes to concentrate on your hearing. Unfortunately, the roar of the jet's engines prevents you from hearing anything.
You abruptly stand up which causes every gaze to snap to you, but you pay them no mind. You feel a cramp suddenly take hold on your lower abdomen and you bend at the waist, breathing through it.
"Y/N?" Wanda calls out.
"Something's wrong." With those two words, you feel the tension in the jet amp up. Your hand goes to your side, rubbing there and then following towards the cramp in your lower abdomen. "Something's really wrong."
"What's going on?" She asks.
You whirl around, eyes burning and you don't even care that they're flaring blue at your friend. "Your magic. Can you feel things with it? Or people. Anything?" You ask in a rush.
"I- I don't know what you-"
"Can you feel someone's conscious or whatever! I need- I just-"
"Okay. Okay," she slowly stands up. "I can. Now tell me what's wrong."
You immediately grab her right hand and set it against your abdomen. "Tell me if you can feel anything." Your eyes burn again, this time with unshed tears. "I can't listen for a heartbeat over the jet's engine."
As your words sink in, Wanda's eyes widen. "You're pregnant."
"Holy shit," you hear someone mutter behind you.
"It hurts." You finally allow the tears to fall. "It's not supposed to hurt."
"How- how far along?"
"Three and a half months. Please, Wanda, I can't-"
Without further prompting, Wanda's eyes glow red. You glance down and see her hand glow red as well, her magic then slowly encircling your abdomen. After what feels like an eternity, she slowly smiles. "There it is." Her gaze darts up to you and the red fades away. "I can feel him. Or her."
You choke back a sob, your hand flying to your mouth to muffle it. Wanda immediately embraces you and you sink into the comfort she's offering you. Then after a moment there's a hand on your shoulder that doesn't belong to Wanda and you lift your head up to see Sam.
"Hey girl, mind if I check you out? You fought awfully hard back at the base and given your condition I'd be more at ease if I knew everything was good."
Your brow furrows. "You're a doctor?"
"No, but I've got some training bandaging people up for the real docs. The most I can do for you right now is check for tender spots so I can report back to the doctor at the compound and insert an IV."
You look to Wanda for her opinion and she nods to let you know it's okay. Then looking back at Sam, you nod. "Okay."
Clint immediately pulls down a cot from where it was folded against the quinjet wall and Sam gestures for you to lay down. He instructs you to lift your shirt and you do so, lifting it until it's bunched beneath your bust. "Okay so I already see some bruising."
His fingertips touch the side of your abdomen and you automatically growl. He freezes and you wince. "Sorry. Instincts."
He chuckles. "It's okay. Given what you apparently are and the circumstances, that's to be expected. Am I good to proceed?"
"Yeah." You inhale shakily. "You're good."
Sam continues his brief examination, pressing here and there around your abdomen for any tender spots. You wince at one particular push and he quietly apologizes. When he's done, he leans back. "You're definitely gonna have to be checked out as soon as we get to the compound."
"Understood."
"But I'd like to get an IV started if that's okay. With you being pregnant and under HYDRA's care, I rather get some fluids in you that I know haven't been tampered with."
"Yeah. Yeah, that's fine."
You sit up and Wanda walks over to sit next to you on the cot, taking your hand between both of hers to offer you some semblance of comfort. Steve gets up to go speak with Tony and you ignore the quiet conversation they're obviously having about you. You can feel various stares on you, but you keep your gaze dead ahead and manage to keep from fidgeting or lashing out.
You don't know when, but you end up dozing off against Wanda. Then the next time you're conscious, you're being gently shaken awake and you watch as everyone starts to disembark the jet.
"We're home," Wanda murmurs. "Are you ready for this?"
"Yeah."
Slightly stretching, you're apprehensive about any sort of pain flaring but it never comes. You're thankful for it and then stand up to walk side-by-side with Wanda. Arm hooked through hers, you follow her off the jet and into the sleekest building you've ever laid eyes on. Sam is waiting for you, alongside a woman who smiles kindly at you. She introduces herself as Doctor Cho and you readily follow after her.
The labs make you apprehensive, but Wanda and Sam assure you everything is fine. Doctor Cho has you change into an unflattering medical gown and she talks through everything right before she does it so you're not caught off guard. All in all, being poked and prodded by this woman is a lot more pleasant than when HYDRA's doctors did it.
After a while, Doctor Cho comes back with a tablet in hand. You can see she wants to ask for privacy, but you immediately let her know that you're okay with Wanda and Sam hearing everything. Since you're staying wherever Wanda is, it's only fair the others know what's going on with you so there are no secrets.
Smiling, Doctor Cho glances at the tablet before looking up at you. "So everything seems to be completely normal," she says. Sam and Wanda exhale in relief. "Sam mentioned some bruising around your abdomen when he first walked in, but there is no sign of any bruising whatsoever. You and the baby seem one hundred percent healthy given everything you've through."
"I heal fast," you quietly admit. "I'm not sure why it took so long for me to feel the pain, but I panicked because of the baby and I wasn't thinking straight back on the jet."
"As an expecting mother, it's normal to panic. I had first hand experience with Mr. Stark's wife a few years back. Panicking is normal, but you just have to remember to breathe and take it one step at a time."
"Easier said than done," you mumble.
Doctor Cho chuckles. "Well for the next few weeks, I want you to take it easy. I'm not putting you on bed rest because of your accelerated healing, but I don't want you doing any strenuous activity."
"Don't worry," Wanda muses. "I'll make sure her butt is planted on the sofa at all times."
"Well okay then," Doctor Cho says. "I have some clothes for you if you want so you don't have to get back into that suit."
"I'd like that. Thank you."
"And if you're up for it, I'd like to see you again next week so we can make sure you and baby are still heading on the right track. I'll even order in some prenatal vitamins and a few others that you're lacking."
You nod. "Okay. That sounds good."
Reconnecting with Wanda had been easy. You were happy that she and Pietro got away from HYDRA when they did, even if Pietro didn't get to enjoy his freedom, and she was sad that you had been under HYDRA's thumb this entire time. But a little wine (for Wanda) and a lot of grape juice (for you), and the two of you were chatting like you hadn't missed any time at all.
After that, settling in at the Avengers' compound was a lot easier than you anticipated. Everyone, with the exception of Tony and Clint, lived just behind the compound in a new building that had been erected not too long ago and it was a lot more homely than you were expecting. You had moved in with Wanda for the meantime, keeping to her quarters so as to not step on any toes. But on the rare chance you decided to stretch your legs, you were surprised that the others would cordially start a conversation with you to see how you were doing.
Then after several visits with Doctor Cho where she continued to tell you that you and baby were doing extremely well, Wanda decided to have a family dinner in celebration.
"So who's all going to be here again?" You ask, already looking through the refrigerator.
"Just the usual," Wanda tells you. "I didn't want Clint and Tony to have to drag their families out here, but they do check in every now and then. They're happy you're settling in."
You snort, shutting the refrigerator door and standing straight. "Are you sure that's it and it's not because I haven't ravaged anyone to death?"
"Y/N.."
"I'm only joking." You grin. "Now can you please contact the others and tell them to hurry up? I'm starving!"
Grinning, Wanda takes her phone in hand and starts tapping away. She chuckles at something on her screen a few moments later, but before you can ask what's so funny you hear several individuals approaching. The aroma of the food hits you next and your mouth immediately starts watering. Steve, Bucky, Natasha, and Sam walk in- each and every one of them carrying various bags of takeout.
"Hey Y/N, think you got a little drool there," Sam says, gesturing to the corner of his mouth.
And without missing a beat, you say, "Not only am I a pregnant woman, Samuel, but I'm a pregnant wolf. I will eat you if you don't stop teasing me."
Sam gasps in offence as everyone else chuckles, and then they're setting the food down on the table to start unloading it as Wanda asks you to help her with utensils and drinks. But the second you turn back towards the table and see all the food laid out, you pause and take it all in. And then promptly burst into tears.
Everyone seems startled, but you're quick to get yourself under control. Sniffling and then wiping the tears away, you say, "I'm sorry. It's just that there's so much food!"
Steve is the first to chuckle. "You're crying because there's a lot of food?"
"Well yeah. You brought all this food and you're not expecting anything from me." Steve's smile instantly vanishes. "HYDRA would offer me nice things, but it always came at a price."
Sam whistles lowly. "Well that just took a turn for the depressing." A beat passes and then, "Come on, little momma. Come grab some grub."
Wanda smiles kindly at you and you finish making your way to the table. You end up with her at your side and Bucky across from you, and a table full of food laid out in front of you. Then the second Natasha reaches for pan fried dumplings, you reach for one of the largest burgers you've ever seen and a whole tray of fries. You groan at the first taste and proceed to finish it off in five more bites. You eat some fries and then stare at the remaining burgers with longing.
"Go ahead," Natasha tells you. "We have more than enough."
You sheepishly grin in her direction and grab another hamburger, devouring it without a care in the world.
But then when you eye the sushi and reach for it, you gasp when the chopsticks in Bucky's hand whack the back of your hand. "No. Raw fish is bad for pregnant women."
A growl unconsciously slips free and the whole table freezes. But then the situation you're in sinks in and you roll your eyes as you pull your hand back into your lap. "Then just say so, Barnes. Don't whack me. I'm not a damn dog." You're scowling at him, but then your words sink in when you see the corner of his lips twitch. "Oh shut up."
The whole table laughs and you shake your head, grinning as you then reach for a container of Chinese noodles that smell absolutely divine.
Later, stuffed full and laying across a sofa, the whole lot of you are relaxing as the TV plays some random TV show Sam had put on. A commercial comes on for pampers and you groan. "I am not looking forward to diaper duty."
Wanda chuckles, but it's Natasha who asks, "So you plan on keeping the baby?" You startle at the question, glancing over at her. "I mean everyone just kind of figured you wouldn't want to given the circumstances of when and where you became pregnant, so-"
"No, I get it," you tell her. "When HYDRA first told me the plan of birthing them a soldier, I kind of lost it. I pretty much went feral at the idea of forcefully having a baby." Gulping, you quickly sit up to explain all that went down. "They wanted to breed me," you sneer, "and they had to sedate me for their chosen soldier to just enter the same room." Immediately your nose tingles, everyone's anger wafting off of them in waves. "Unfortunately for them, they forgot to take into account that my metabolism burned through everything ten times faster than a normal human and I came to just as my pants were being unbuttoned. The guy barely had time to smirk before I ripped his throat out. With my teeth."
The men all stare at you in various stages of shock, but Wanda and Natasha both smirk. "Atta girl," the redheaded assassin muses.
"Killing their top candidate was a big upset, so they attempted to wipe me again," you say with a shrug. "But when the higher-ups got wind of an unscheduled wipe, they came down to see what that was all about. Needless to say, they were not impressed with their Doc's breeding tactics. Doc One took a bullet between the eyes and they brought in Doc Two who was a big fan of artificial insemination." Everyone winces. "Pregnancies one and two didn't stick, so they tried pregnancy three with a sample they had in the freezer. I don't know who the father is, but HYDRA was really ecstatic when month three came along and the two of us were still in good health."
"And you're okay with keeping this baby?" Wanda softly asks.
"I kind of have to be. This baby," you say while gently touching your abdomen, "is half me and half someone else who I'm pretty sure is enhanced. Even if I thought adoption was an option, I don't think I could live with myself knowing a piece of me was somewhere out there."
Everyone takes a moment after your story sinks in, thinking about all that you've been while in HYDRA's control. Afterwards, Steve clears his throat. "So before anyone goes overboard with baby stuff, we're gonna have to put you in your own apartment." He smiles when he notices he catches you off guard with that. "No need to overflow Wanda's apartment with baby things when we have plenty of room to spread out still."
"A-Are you sure?" You ask. "I was ready to start looking elsewhere for a place to live, but-"
"No. HYDRA will be on the lookout for you and that baby," Wanda says. "You're staying here where they won't dare to infiltrate."
You glance at each present Avenger, taking in their pleasant expressions and sniffing them out for any hints of deceit. Finding none, you allow yourself to relax and grin. "Okay then. We'll stay here."
Cohabitating with the Avengers is nothing like you expected. Everyone's guard is down while at home and everyone likes spending time together in the communal spaces when there's not a mission for them to be worrying about. Sam especially gets a kick out of seeing how your appetite holds up against the two supersoldiers and he's impressed that you can eat the same amount or sometimes more.
And when the full moon is less than a week away, it's not just you who's worried about it.
Tony flies in when they notice you're quick to anger and they quickly clean out the hulk proof room that hasn't been used in quite some time. Steve and Wanda take charge, asking what would make you most comfortable, and you admit that anything with your scent on it will do. But what catches everyone off guard is that you sheepishly request something with their scent on it as well and you have to embarrassingly admit that it's a werewolf thing. With you spending so much time with them, you've kind of latched on and your wolf considers them yours.
Everyone is game to get you whatever you need and within half an hour they've got your bed set up in the room, and blankets and pillows from those you'd been living with these past couple of weeks. Everyone takes care to not annoy you the couple days leading up to the full moon, and then you're encouraged to go ahead and settle in the room the day you snarl at Tony for making a puppy joke.
Wanda sits in an armchair in the room as you sit against your headboard, talking about anything and everything as you practice some of Bruce's meditation tips. The door to the room is open for now, and every now and then you can hear someone pass by to quietly check in.
No one needs to tell you when the moon's reached its apex because you can feel the change within you. Your breathing becomes a little heavier and your fidgeting is no doubt more apparent. Sweat starts to bead along your hairline and you curl your fingers inward so as to not shred any of your bedding when you feel your claws suddenly elongate.
"Y/N..?"
"Wanda." You inhale deeply and slowly release it. "I think it's time you go."
You hear the armchair creak under Wanda's weight. "What? I can-"
"Go." You exhale deeply once more, slowly glancing up and eyes burning blue. "You need to go."
A growl slips free and then Steve's immediately in the doorway. "Wanda, come on."
Your gaze stays glued to Wanda as she cautiously stands and she smartly walks backwards to the door rather than giving you her back. And the second the door slides shut, you're leaping out of bed and pacing the entirety of the room. Your agitation ends up getting the best of you and you end up ripping your shirt off, thankful that you had been talked into wearing a sports bra underneath.
The walls are opaque, but the second a voice comes over an intercom you're whirling around to glare at the exact spot where everyone is congregated around screens and keeping watch over you. "Y/N, you need to calm down. Your heartbeat is way too fast."
You snarl and a fist flies towards the wall. There's a loud thump, but they put you in a hulk-proof room for a reason. No matter how much strength you have, you won't make a single crack in the glass.
As you pace all around the room, you growl and roar out your agitation.
Fortunately for you, you have a fair amount of control and you never resort to harming yourself. You do, however, tire of pacing and your bed looks all too welcoming. So once you deem it safe enough to let your guard down, you crawl into bed and surround yourself with the various pillows and blankets of your pack.
The following morning when you wake up, Doctor Cho whisks you away for an evaluation to make sure the full moon didn't affect the baby. And once you're given the all clear, Wanda and Sam lure you into the kitchen with a promise of a hearty breakfast.
You're more tired than usual, but you manage to perch on one of the bar stools at the kitchen island, setting your elbow on the island top and setting your chin in the palm of your hand. Wanda starts to slice up some avocados when you notice there's an itch under your skin that's telling you you need to do something, but you aren't sure what. The feeling amps up as the time ticks on by, but before you can get up and start pacing in agitation there's an arm draping around your shoulders.
The familiar scent of Steve overwhelms you and you feel yourself automatically lean towards him. He chuckles. "How are you feeling?"
"Like I wanna snuggle the hell out of you," you mumble. Leaning away from him, you turn on your stool and part your knees, pulling Steve as close to you as possible. "Seriously, just hug me. I need to scent everyone again."
Sam snorts from his spot at the stove and Steve happily obliges you. Your arms wrap around his waist and you lay the side of your face against Steve's chest, a happy rumble slipping free as Steve embraces you back. "I don't know why you're laughing, Wilson. I'm cuddling all of you."
After about five minutes, you let Steve go and you readily drag Wanda into his vacant spot. She laughs, but hugs you back the moment your arms go around her. You shove your face into the side of her neck and you can't resist rubbing your cheek along her shoulders.
Sam ends up getting the same exact treatment right before breakfast is served up and since Natasha isn't really a hugger, she does sit next to you and allows you to at least drape one of your legs over hers underneath the table.
Afterwards, instead of heading back towards the apartment you share with Wanda, you eye Bucky who's sitting on the couch with a book in his right hand. And though he's been perfectly cordial with you since you've been brought in, you knew better than to just approach him out of the blue like you can with Wanda, Sam, and Steve.
Steve chuckles as he sees your hesitance, but he offers you no help in broaching the cuddling topic with his best friend. However, just as you enter Bucky's peripheral, he readily lifts his left arm that had been resting on the armrest. You sigh in relief and crawl in Bucky's lap, sitting sideways and laying your head on his shoulder. His metal arm curls around your back and his hand which he's holding the book settles down atop your knees.
You soak in Bucky's warmth and scent, and before you know it your eyelids get heavier and heavier.
The click of a phone's camera sounds and Bucky glances up to see Wanda pointing her phone at him. "What?" She feigns innocence. "It's adorable."
"She's exhausted," he says. "I'd fall asleep anywhere too if I had to go through what she did."
"I can take her if you want," Wanda says. "Float her on back to our apartment."
"No. It's fine," he's quick to assure her. "I wasn't planning on moving anytime soon anyway."
Wanda nods, hiding her grin as she walks towards the elevator where Steve and Sam are already waiting. Getting in, all three individuals smirk at Bucky cradling a sleeping pregnant werewolf in his lap.
"If she names that pup after Barnes, I'm throwing hands," Sam says.
Wanda laughs. "I don't think she's thinking about naming her child after a man she's only known for a couple of weeks, Sam."
"Well some would think that one would not sleep in the lap of someone they've only known for a couple of weeks, but here we are," Steve then says. "Unless it's a werewolf thing."
Wanda, Steve, and Sam take a moment to think about it before Sam says, "I got twenty that says those two end up hooking up before the baby bump makes itself known."
"What? No way." Wanda shakes her head. "I have twenty that says she's just extra cuddly because she's hormonal and just came down from the full moon."
"Guys," Steve admonishes them. A moment later, he grins. "Twenty says a real attraction grows and those two end up together."
"You're on, Rogers."
Author's Note: So you guys wanna give me baby name suggestions? And gender suggestions?
#avengers imagine#marvel imagine#marvel gen fic x reader#wanda maximoff#steve rogers#bucky barnes#sam wilson#natasha romanoff#marvel#avengers
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Secrets (Three) || Bucky Barnes
pairing: bucky barnes x reader
summary: bucky, natasha and sam find out where you’ve been taken and attempt to find you and bring you back. meanwhile you find yourself in an icy situation.
a/n: reblogs and replies are super appreciated!
word count: 3.1k
warnings: full angst, mentions of kidnapping and blood, someone attempts to kill reader as vengeance, violence
Prologue, One, Two
masterlist || request || taglist
When Sam’s eyes met Natasha’s as he and Bucky burst in through the doors of the lab at the Avengers Compound, he immediately grabbed hold of her arm and pulled her to the side, leaving Bucky to speak to Banner.
“What’s going-”
Before Natasha could even finish her sentence however, Sam cut her off in a hushed voice.
“Bucky didn’t tell his wife anything.” Sam explained, glancing over his shoulder to make sure the super soldier wasn’t listening. “Nothing about being a 100 year-old man. Nothing about being a super soldier-”
“Barnes didn’t tell her anything?” She asked.
“Nothing.” Sam confirmed. “He’s been lying to her this whole time.”
Glancing over at the other man in the room, Natasha shook her head.
“Shit.” She swore. “You think you know somebody... why didn’t Barnes tell her?”
“He figured she would leave-”
“So what?” Natasha said. “How can you start a family with someone and you don’t even tell them the truth? Hell, Barton told Laura everything a month into their relationship. That’s not an excuse.”
Thinking of her friend who had died for her back on Vormir so she could bring the soul stone back home, she could feel the anger running through her veins, but as quickly as it had washed over her, it had faded away as she looked at the man in front of her and the distress he was in.
“It just... it makes me sick, you know?” Sam said. “I should of... I should of noticed this... I should have known. Maybe she wouldn’t be in this mess right now if-”
Shaking her head, understanding the path Sam was heading down, Natasha laid her hand gently on Sam’s shoulder.
“This isn’t your fault, Sam.” She reassured him. “It’s not your job to take care of him. He should’ve known better.”
Sam knew that she was right. Bucky was a grown man, older than him who should have known better than to lie to those he cared about, but Sam couldn't help but feel guilty, knowing there was a woman out there who was kidnapped because of his friend’s mistakes.
Noticing the slump in Sam’s shoulder’s, she squeezed his shoulder once more before pulling away.
“We’re going to handle this, Wilson. It’s okay.” Natasha reassured him one last time. “I’m used to cleaning up after you boys- this isn’t any different.”
Leaving Sam in his spot, Natasha made her way to the center of the lab besides where Bucky was standing on the other side of a counter facing Bruce.
“Well,” Burce said holding Bucky’s phone in his hands. “It looks like you don’t even need my help. Her phone’s location is still on.”
Drumming his fingers on the table and tapping his foot against the linoleum floor, Bucky began to feel his heart race in his chest.
“And?” He asked, raising his voice. “That’s it? You can’t give us more than her phone location-”
Glancing between Bruce and Bucky, Natasha turned her attention to the man beside her, laying her hand his metal one, halting his fingers from tapping against the countertop.
“Woah Barnes.” She eased. “Calm down-”
“Don’t tell me to calm down!” He shouted once again, pulling his hand away from Natasha’s. “This is my wife.” He said, turning back to Bruce. “You can’t do better than a phone location? What makes you think she’s even there and she didn’t just drop it-”
“I don’t know your wife, but I’m guessing people don’t just lose their phones at old S.H.I.E.L.D bases.” Bruce said, cutting him off.
Sliding the device back across the table, Bucky caught the phone in his hands, glancing between your phone’s location on his screen and the other Avengers in the room.
“That doesn’t make any sense.” Sam said, making his way over from the other side of the room. “Why wouldn’t they get rid of her phone?”
Although the others in the room continued to discuss why you would be there and where there course of action would go from there, Bucky had tuned them out, staring at a wall on the far side of the room.
He understood why they didn’t turn your location off or throw your phone away. Better yet, he knew the S.H.I.E.L.D base you were at... he had been there himself. They had held him there, cryogenically freezing him during his time as the Winter Soldier.
Thinking about you in the base and the implications of what that meant, Bucky’s hands began to shake. As his phone fell from his hands, the sound of the glass shattering notified the other members in the room, halting their conversation. They turned their attention towards Bucky.
“Barnes?” Natasha asked.
“Buck-“
“They want us to go there and get her.” Bucky said, his mouth going dry. “They want me... I... I know this place.”
Glancing at each other and then the sullen man, Natasha was the first speak up.
“How do you know the place, Barnes?”
Beginning to feel his heart quicken in his chest, he attempted to find the words to explain the situation to those in front of him.
“They used to hold me there.” Bucky said. “That’s where they... that’s where they kept me frozen when they didn’t need me.”
At his confession, Natasha was the first one to move from her spot. Making her way over to Bucky, she picked his phone up off the floor and shoved it into his chest.
“If that’s true, we have to move now.” Natasha said, patting Sam’s back, making her way towards the door. “Suit up, boys!”
-
You swore if you had eaten within the past 16 hours you would have thrown up by now. The videos didn’t stop with the first one. The man forced you to watch more and more across all decades with so many different victims. It was sickening. After sitting there for so long your eyes began to burn and your stomach began to churn you squeezed your eyes shut, throwing your head back.
“Why are you showing me all of this?” You asked the man beside you. “I didn't... I didn’t know. If I had... I don’t... why are you coming after him? What did he do to you?”
Pulling the tablet away from your face, placing it on the table besides him, the man made his way over to the front of where you were seated, kneeling on the floor front of you.
“I’m glad you have finally asked, Mrs. Barnes-”
“Y/n.” You cut him off. “My name is Y/n.”
Not missing the fact that you had so quickly dissociated yourself from the man you had once called your husband earlier that day, the man continued.
“Y/n,” He said, testing the name before continuing. “You want to know why I want the Winter Soldier?”
You nodded.
“I want the winter soldier because he killed my wife.”
As soon as the words left his mouth, bitterness lacing every syllable, your eyes widened and you began to feel the pace of your heart quicken in your chest.
“I’m so sorr-“
“I went to your home this morning with the intention of finding your husband and killing him for what he did to my wife.” The still unnamed man said, pushing himself up from where he was kneeling in front of you, pacing around your chair. “They said she was just in the wrong place at the wrong time... she was innocent. She didn’t do anything.”
Although the man had kidnapped you, you felt your heart shatter in your chest for him. He had lost his wife. A woman who had no place losing her life, but did by the hands of a brainwashed assassin... your husband.
The same man who had told you nothing about the past. The same man who had lied to your face all these years.
The reason you were now sitting tied up in a seat in an abandoned operations base.
“So, imagine my surprise when I find he has a wife of his own.” The man said, stopping in front of you.
As he leaned forward, his face inching closer to yours, you leaned back in your seat desperate to get away from him.
Seeing the anger and despair in his eyes that were inches away from yours, you began to feel your own tears prickle in your eyes as you struggled in the seat, realizing now that you would be his mode of revenge.
“I didn’t... I didn’t do anything.” You pleaded. “I didn’t even know!”
Stepping away from you, you watched as the two other men descended the staircase, standing behind the man in charge.
“I understand, Y/n.” He said. “You were just a woman who got caught in another man’s mess. I feel sorry for you... I do... you were in the wrong place for far too long a time and you didn’t even know it. It saddens me to do this, Y/n, but your husband has to pay.”
Watching as the two men walked past their boss to your chair, turning it around to face the wall behind you, you were suddenly met with the holding tube you had seen photos of Bucky in during his time in cryo standing against the wall.
“What- wait!” You shouted, struggling in your seat. “There has to be something I can do-“
Despite your struggling you felt as the two men undid the ties on the ropes that had been wrapped around your wrists and ankles, each taking one of your arms in their’s.
“No wait!” You shouted at the man in charge. “Please! I didn’t do anything! I didn’t know!”
Rather than reply you watched as the man pinched the bridge of his nose, turning his back towards you.
Kicking at the ground below you, they dragged you towards the container, your heels scratched against the cold floor as you shouted, tears running down your face as you begged them to let you go.
In the end it was futile as they threw you into the container, slamming the door shut before you even had time to scramble to your feet. Hearing the door click in the lock you slammed the palms of your hands against the glass, beginning to hear the rush of air out of the vents and the cold bite of frost against your skin.
-
As soon as Sam threw the car into park, Bucky swung the door open and rushed out of the vehicle, Natasha quick on his heal.
“I know Y/n is in there, Barnes,” She said. “But we need to be careful in there. We don’t know who we’re dealing with.”
Glaring at Natasha, he shook his head, clicking the safety off on his gun.
“We’re dealing with someone who took my wife.” He said seriously, kicking in the door of the base. “That’s all I need to know.”
Entering first into the building, memories began to rush into Bucky’s mind- chopped up pieces of a life lived by someone else.
When his mind had been freed he had hoped that he would never have to see the inside of one of these facilities again but he should’ve known he wouldn’t be so lucky. Something was always going to come back to get him- he had just hoped it was him- now he wished it wasn’t you.
Making his way down a familiar staircase, leading down to the open area of the base where he used to be kept, he listened for any sign of where you were. You had to be there. When he shoved open the doors to the balcony that overlooked the large room he leaned over the railing, watching as two men slammed the door to the container shut, a loud ring sounding throughout the room.
Making his way towards the stairs leading down from the balcony, he heard pounding against the glass of the container coming from the inside.
“Y/n!” Bucky shouted, for once being glad he had been given the serum with the rate he was rushing down the stairs.
As soon as your name left his lips, the three other men in the room snapped their heads towards the super soldier.
“Mr. Barnes.” The man in charge greeted him, still standing straight in his spot. “I had hoped you would have gotten here sooner.”
Glancing over the man’s shoulder, Bucky’s gun raised and pointed at the man, he heard the sound of your palms pounding against the walls of the container, the sound of your wedding ring scratching against the glass with each blow.
Dropping the gun from his hands, the sound of its impact ringing throughout the room, he ran over to the container. Searching for a way to unlatch the handle, Bucky watched as the temperature in the container began to drop dramatically. His palms slamming against the glass, his eyes met yours on the other side, but before he was sure you even had time to register his presence, he watched as your eyelids fell shut, your body going slump against the walls of the container.
The ice beginning to freeze over the glass, Bucky pulled at the handle of the container, his nail beds growing bloody as he tried his hardest to pull it open and free you once and for all.
“Fuck!” He shouted.
“Mr. Barnes-”
Before the asshole in charge could speak once more, Bucky heard as the man grunted. Glancing over his shoulder as he continued to pull the handle, groaning from the strain that it did not seem to be giving at all, he watched as Natasha kicked the man in the stomach.
Just as the man fell to the ground, however, the two other men in the room came after Bucky. Feeling one of their hands land on his arm, Bucky released the handle form his grasp, grabbing the collar of one of the men’s shirts and shoved him back against the container, knocking him unconscious.
The other man with a knife in his hand came hurling at Bucky directly after. Dodging the blade, Bucky swiftly punched the man’s stomach, a grunt emitting from his mouth, swinging at Bucky once again. This time he caught the arm of the man, attempting to twist the knife out of his grasp. Just as the blade was about to fall, the man fell into Bucky’s arms and when he looked up his eyes met Sam’s.
“I could have handled that.” Bucky told him, turning his attention back to the container.
“I’m sure.” Sam lied.
Watching as the dial on the thermometer continued to drop far below where even he had been frozen at, Bucky’s heart began to once again race in his chest.
“Shit!” He shouted.
“It’s futile, Mr. Barnes.” He heard the only conscious man- the one in charge say. “She’s going below temperatures no man has ever come back from.”
Feeling the tears beginning to flood in his eyes as he watched the glass frost over, he felt Sam’s hand on his shoulder.
“Buck?” He said. “Don’t listen to him. We’re going to get this open.”
Although he heard his friend, his mind was elsewhere, thinking of how this was all his fault. You were innocent. You didn't deserve to die for his sins- especially those you didn’t even know about. Staring at the glass, he had begun to lose hope until he saw one tiny crack beginning to form in the glass in the place he had just thrown the first man who came after him. Beginning to form an idea, Bucky shrugged Sam’s hand off of his shoulder.
Throwing his vibranium fist against the glass, he heard as the crack grew. Punching his fist against the glass once again, he watched as the line stretched across the glass.
Having all the confirmation he needed, he began throwing both of his fists against the glass- vibranium and flesh. He ignored the sound of Sam’s voice, for sure advising him against damaging his bloodied, flesh hand against the glass, continuing to try his hardest to get to you.
He had to get to you.
He had to.
Glancing at the dial once again, the temperature had dropped so far it had gone past where even the thermometer could recognize.
Even though he knew better, he had to convince himself that you were going to be okay because you had to.
He couldn’t do this without you.
He didn’t want to.
Throwing one last punch with his flesh hand, the glass shattered, falling at his feet and scratching up his already torn, bloodied hand.
Sticking his vibranium arm inside the container, ice immediately frosted over it, freezing his arm in the spot. Still, he reached out for you, his unmoving fingers hooking into your frozen t-shirt, pulling you out of the container.
As soon as your body met the floor outside of the container, the ground around you began to turn to ice, matching the substance that coated your entire form.
“What the-” Sam said, stepping out of the range of the ice.
Kneeling beside your body, his knees freezing on the ice, he looked for any sign that you were still inside the icicle surrounding you. When your eyes didn’t open, he stuck his flesh hand above your face. When he saw and felt the frost begin to coat the palm of his hand, he sighed in relief.
You were breathing.
By some miracle, you were alive.
“She’s alive.” Bucky mumbled to himself, barely believing it. “She’s alive!”
Making a fist, the ice cracked off of his hands and he looked up to meet Natasha and Sam’s wide eyes.
“Is that... coming from her?” Sam asked, looking at the ice surrounding the ground in front of him.
“We have to get her out of here.” Natasha said, slipping her jacket off of her own shoulders, slowly stepping on the ice and wrapping it around your unconscious figure. “We should take her back to the Compound.”
Nodding and still in shock, Bucky made his way towards you, picking you up and off the ground, careful to only hold you where your body was covered in Natasha’s jacket, your body still covered in ice.
“What about the other guys?” Sam asked, gesturing to the three other unconscious men in the room.
“I called someone to handle it.” She said.
Staring at the ice surrounding the ground, your body coated in frost and the ice spreading down the back of Bucky’s shirt as he carried you, Natasha glanced between the two men.
“Something tells me we have something more important to worry about.”
#bucky barnes x reader#bucky barnes x y/n#bucky barnes x you#bucky barnes fanfiction#bucky barnes oneshot#Bucky Barnes imagine#bucky barnes angst#Bucky Barnes drabble#bucky barnes fic
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Coming Home
Summary: After a year alone, your lover finally comes back home, but he’s not the same.
Pairing: Billy Russo x Reader
Word Count: 2,270
Warnings: Vague-ish smut, angsty-ish, meh
You stared at the naked man behind you in the mirror with a surprised grin on your face, a quiet laugh leaving you "you can't be serious, Billy." He chuckled and nodded, his own grin adorning his face as he rested his head on your shoulder and pulled your back into his chest "I'm one hundred percent serious, baby, I want you to marry me." "Weren't you ever warned about marrying strippers?" You asked with a hum. "I was, but I know you aren't after my money, and I don't mind your job, makes me feel proud knowing other guys can only look at you and dream, while I get to fuck you senseless every night," he said as he ground his hips into yours. "So you wanna marry me to stroke your own ego?" You asked sarcastically. "And because I love you. You're not only the most beautiful girl I've ever seen but you're smart, funny, and I always feel like the luckiest guy in the world when I'm with you. Not to mention, we'd have some pretty fucking cute babies, I mean, look at us," he pecked your neck softly and grinned.
He picked the ring up from the box on the counter and slid it onto your finger "what do you say babygirl? Wanna be Mrs. Billy Russo?" "I say fuck yes," you said excitedly. You turned around to kiss him and giggled against his lips when he quickly picked you up and set you on the counter. Another round of gleeful, celebratory sex followed before you two showered, which led to another round before he left for work. You found yourself looking forward to planning the wedding. Unfortunately, he went missing five months later. He never came back to your shared apartment, you found his car with several parking tickets, and god knows the NYPD wasn't any help at all, the entire city knew that.
Life without Billy took some getting used to; you weren't even sure it was something you could get used to. It hurt, coming home to a cold bed in an empty apartment. What hurt even more though, was having to watch your stomach grow in the months that followed. Being handed the small brown-eyed bundle with his tuft of dark hair nearly made you break. You heavily contemplated giving the child up for adoption, but when you thought of Billy, you knew that's not what he would have wanted, especially given his own experience in the system. You also thought about quitting the gentlemen's club, finding something more suitable for a mom, you did have a computer programming degree, your student loans were the reason you started working at the club, but nothing paid as well and offered the flexibility you needed. You got back to work when he turned a month old, the elderly woman in the apartment next door offered to babysit him while you were gone.
"Hey, Kitty, you've got a guy in room three asking for you," your manager said as you made your way off stage, giving a small hum in reply. You sighed quietly on your way to the room, already counting down the minutes until you could leave; 43 minutes and 21 seconds. How is it that almost a year since he vanished, he was still so prevalent in your mind? After closing the door behind you, you took in the man's appearance. He wore loose jeans and a dark grey hoodie that obscured his features. You sighed to yourself and thought 'oh great, another creep'. This wasn't a new thing, men in their thirties and forties came in dressed like this all the time, trying to obscure their features so nobody could ever identify them in case any snooping wives came around.
"Did you have a specific song in mind for your dance?" You asked as you picked up the tablet that connected to the room's speakers. "It'll be a bit of an unusual request but, you know that song 'Baby I'm Yours'?" He asked awkwardly. You nearly dropped the device in your hands, biting your lip as tears already began to well; the voice sounded familiar but you couldn't turn and look yet, you couldn't get your hopes up. "There are a number of songs with that name, can you be more specific?" You asked in as steady of a voice as you could manage. "The version by the Arctic Monkeys," he clarified, clearing his throat some. This time, you did drop the tablet; you suddenly felt unsteady in your platform stilettos.
You didn't even hear him get up but you felt his hands on your arms when you started to turn around "don't, please, don't look at me. I need you to remember me as I was." You exhaled deeply and shook your hand, slapping his hands away "no. I deserve to be looked in the eye when you tell me why the fuck you disappeared." When you turned to face him, you were greeted with a white mask that had cracks and breaks drawn on it. He shook his head, gripping your wrists when you tried to take it off "I didn't mean to. I-I was meeting with someone and it turned ugly and next thing I knew, I was in a hospital with memories missing and nightmares. I was there for six months before things started coming back and then I remembered you. I've been trying to find you and say I'm sorry, beg for you back but I'm-I'm not the same man you were engaged to. I barely recognize the man in the mirror now."
Before you had time to think, you yanked one of your wrists out of his grasp and slapped him, the mask falling to the ground. A shocked gasp left your lips as you took in his scarred features, his eyes immediately screwing shut to avoid seeing your expression. "Billy, I-what happened?" You asked quietly. "I was fighting with Frank and uh, he thought this was a fate worse than death. I guess he was right," he answered with a dry chuckle. When you remained speechless, he kept talking "I just wanted to see you one last time, to tell you how much I loved you, but I'm not gonna make you be with someone so hideously, grotesquely disfigured." The way he spoke about himself sent pangs of sadness to your heart. He may not have looked the same but he was far from hideous or grotesque. You were pulled out of your shock when you saw him reaching down for his mask, presumably leaving.
"No." You finally said, looking at him with an angry frown. "I'm sorry?" He asked, his own expression turning shocked when you snatched the mask from his hands. "I said no. You don't get to make that fucking decision for me, Billy! You don't just get to decide if I want to be with you or not! How fucking dare you just show up and decide for me! Do you know how much of a fucking nightmare this past year has been?" You asked, shoving his chest as angry tears began to roll down your cheeks. "I'm just trying to save you the embarrassment of-" he started to say before you started again "I wouldn't be embarrassed because I didn't love you for your looks you egotistical asshole! I loved you for who you were! Even when you were gone, when I thought you were dead in a ditch somewhere, I loved you. Every time I look at our son, I think about how much I love you and would give anything to have you back, only for you to come here and tell me you're leaving to spare me the embarrassment. How fucking dare you," you shoved him again, paying zero attention to how he reacted to anything you said.
Your hand was raised to slap him again but he caught your wrist, eyes widened some "we have a son?" "Yes, Billy! And every time I look into his eyes, I'm reminded of everything we shared, everything I'd give up just to have you back in my life, because I loved you with every fiber of my being. I never cared about what you looked like, you made me feel happy and safe and loved and I thought I made you feel the same but I must not have if you think so little of me, that I'd bolt at the sight of you right now." His stance noticeably softened at your words and he frowned at you "do you really think you could spend your life with someone who looks like I do, now? Children are always gonna point and stare when we walk down the street, men are never gonna leave you alone, your girlfriends are gonna tell you you can do better than someone who looks like Frankenstein."
You sighed quietly and gently cupped his cheeks, frowning at the way he flinched before you even came into contact with the marred flesh. The edges of your mouth curled up in a tiny smile as you looked into his eyes "Frankenstein's monster would be lucky to look like you, Billy." A small groan escaped him at your subtle correction. His hands came to rest on your hips. "You fucking nerd," he mumbled with a chuckle as he let you pull him into a kiss like your life depended on it. His lips only left yours when you fell onto the room's couch, quickly pulling him down with you. Your minimal, barely-there "outfit" was quickly gone, leaving you in only the heels while he shed his layers. The minute he was free, he was back on you, two of his fingers teasing your entrance while his thumb circled your clit, pulling soft, needy noises he'd missed oh so much, noises that got him through the nights he spent alone before finding you again.
And when you finally told him you were ready, it took all of his self-control to go slowly and savor the feelings he'd miss; the way your channel squeezed his member like a vise, the way your legs locked around his hips, and his favorite was the way you peppered kisses along his chest, neck, and face before finally meeting his lips. There were tears in your eyes as he slowly moved his hips, tears he kissed away lovingly while holding you as close as he possibly could. "I missed you so much, angel," he whispered against your lips, pulling back just enough to look into your eyes. "I missed you too, Billy," you whispered back as your fingers tangled in his hair.
Once the moments of adjusting to each other's bodies again passed, Billy started moving his hips roughly, almost angrily like he was trying to make up for lost time (which he was). Each moan he pulled from you gave him a little more confidence and made him go faster, harder, deeper; sure, he was seeking his own pleasure, but he was searching his still-scrambled brain for what got you off before. Finally, he recalled the special spots that made you lose it; he angled his hips up a bit so he was repeatedly pistoning into your g-spot, smirking as you louder moans and swears that escaped you. He began kissing just above your collarbone too, sucking and nibbling on the soft skin until a nice, visible lovebite could be seen.
His lips crashed into yours when he felt you tightening around him right before your climax hit, muffling your moans and his as your release triggered his. His hips moved lazily as you came down with him, both of you panting slightly. He looked down at you adoringly after planting a kiss on your forehead "when are you finished with work?" "Any minute now, I bet," you answered happily. You gave him a quick kiss before lazily getting dressed. You checked the time on the tablet and hummed happily "I finished three minutes ago, apparently. Hurry up and get dressed so we can go home." You playfully winked at him before you left the private room. You quickly went to the back and changed into your street clothes before clocking out, meeting Billy by the door.
With your hand in his, you led him to your car and drove him to your tiny apartment. He hung back while you picked your son up from your neighbor, thanking her repeatedly before you led him inside. He followed you to your son's room, swooning over the chubby infant who babbled in his sleep "what'd you name him?" "William Russo, but I call him Will," you answered with a tired but happy smile, moving the tuft of hair out of the baby's face. "Can I-can I hold him?" He asked nervously, hesitantly. Every single one of his muscles tensed as you carefully put the child in his arms. More tears rolled down his cheeks and he bit his lip to stop from crying out loud "he's perfect." You just nodded in agreement as you watched, leaning against Billy's side some. Suddenly, Billy looked at you with watery eyes and whispered "can he sleep with us tonight? I never want to put him down." You smiled at him and nodded "of course he can, baby." You led Billy back to your room and let him get comfortable in bed while you did you changed into your PJs and did your nightly routine. When you stepped out of the bathroom less than ten minutes later, Billy was already passed out, firmly holding the infant on his chest. You smiled fondly at the sight; your love finally came back home.
Taglist: @bdffkierenwalker
#Billy Russo#Billy Russo x Reader#Billy Russo Smut#Billy Russo Angst#The Punisher#I'm soft for this man#I just- I want him to be happy#Yes even though he's kinda a psycho
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Kintober Day 2: Suspension
Day 2: Against a Wall || Suspension || Threesome
Shouta x Fem! Reader
All characters depicted are in their mid-20s or older. Minors do not interact.
Well. I certainly fucked myself didn’t I?
It was your first coherent thought in at least an hour, Shouta giving you just enough time to get your bearings for a check in.
He’d suspended you from a rig in the back room of his small home, hands and arms bound tightly behind your back, calves bound to thighs and knees open to give him room to play with you at will, though this evening his vice seemed to be a remote-controlled vibrator pressed against your clit. To ensure it stayed, he’d left your panties on prior to binding you. Before stepping out of the room to manipulate the vibe at his discretion, he put a handheld panic button between your palms in case of emergency.
He came in periodically to give you water and check on you, but when you begged for mercy, he said nothing.
You felt his fingers trace over your burning skin, ensure you were still secured safely and that no knots or hardware had come loose during your frantic, overstimulated attempts at squirming and escaping.
He'd bound you tightly, but it was only responsible to check, after all.
“Color?”
“Green,” You croaked, head hanging in exhaustion.
“Good.” He stepped around to tilt your chin up to look him in the eye, “Now…let’s try this again. Do you know why I’m punishing you?”
“Yes, Daddy.”
“And why is that, Kitten?”
“I misused my quirk.”
“And did what?”
You sniffled, “I used my quirk to overload someone’s cellphone and tablet.”
Shouta stroked your cheek, “Good girl for admitting it. Now why did you do it?”
You gritted your teeth, and Shouta turned the vibe back on, “I asked you a question.”
You bit back a scream of pleasure and pain, “Because I was jealous! She got too close to you and I got jealous, please turn it off! Please, Daddy!”
The vibe cut off and he reached between your soaked thighs to remove it from your panties. You sobbed in relief, head lolling until Shota picked it up again, kissing your forehead.
“I’m so proud of you for telling the truth princess.”
You leaned into his affections, hoping it meant the end of the overstimulating torture.
“However,” he drawled darkly, slipping your ruined panties down a bit, “it took you an hour and a half to tell me the truth. We can’t have that, can we, pretty baby?”
Hot tears you didn’t know you had clung to your lashes and rolled down your face, “Daddy please. I’ll be so good for you. Please, I can’t.”
He tutted at you, “You want to be good for me?”
“I wanna be your perfect girl again, Daddy.”
“Oh? Well perfect girls take their punishments, Princess.” He walked just out of your line of sight and returned with a vibrating rabbit toy specifically designed to stimulate your g-spot and clit at the same time. He kissed your cheek before disappearing behind you and pushing the toy into you slick, sensitive pussy and turning it on. You immediately cried out in overstimulated pleasure, and he pulled your panties back up to hold it in place.
“I’ll be back in half an hour, Kitten, to give you a small break and some water. However, you’re not coming down until you atone for lying to me. Understood?”
You nodded wildly, tears pounding at your eyes as you stammered out the required response.
“Thank you for teaching me to be perfect, Daddy.”
He kissed your temple, “You’re so very welcome princess. What’s your color?”
“G-green!” You sob out, and he strokes your cheek.
“I’ll be back in a bit, and don’t forget you can use your panic button anytime to stop the scene and I will never be mad at you for it. Understood?”
“Yes, Daddy. I love you.”
“Love you too, Princess.”
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Guardian Angel ~MYG [Request]
WORD COUNT: 1.8k
GENRE: angst, fluffy ending, Helping Yoongi after his surgery, him finally appreciating your relationship together
PAIRING: yoongi x fem!reader
A/N: I hope this is okay for you my love!
"Do you have any idea how irritating you are?!" Yoongi cried out as he threw his good arm back to make you let go of him. You sighed at him as you held the jacket in your hand, staring at him as you waited for him to get over his small temper tantrum and let you finish dressing him.
"Going out for a walk was your idea, I'm just trying to help-"
"I don't fucking need your help!" He yelled as he stared at you, his face red with anger as he shook his head at you. Mumbling something to himself as he tried to pull the jacket from your hands but you weren't going to let go of it.
"Yoongi you're supposed to be taking it easy, let me help you," You knew he felt bad about having to rely on you and the boys for things so you weren't going to hold the yelling against him. You stepped forward to help but this only seemed to anger him more as he stepped away from you and began yelling all over again. Raising his voice so loud that you were sure the neighbours were going to call your landlord again to complain.
"You have no fucking idea, do you?! Do you know how useless I fucking feel! Having to get my girlfriend to run around for me like I'm so stupid I can't dress myself?!" This time when he threw his arm back in frustration he knocked over a vase of flowers, the glass smashing onto the floor as he stormed away from you.
"I'm just trying-"
"Well don't! Stop trying! I'm sick of you breathing down my neck! Everywhere I turn you're there and it's too much!" He continued to yell out insults as you cleaned up the glass from the floor, sweeping it all up into the dustpan as you tried to get every last piece.
"Watch where you're stepping, you could cut your foot." You told him as you guided him out of the way,
"See! There you go again! Treating me like I'm a baby!" He yelled out in frustration, glaring down at you as he shook his head.
"You're everywhere I turn! Why are you even here?! Why aren't you at work?!" You ignored him as you swept up more of the glass, letting him get on with whatever it was he was saying to you. Trying to drown it out since you knew he didn't mean any of it.
"So fucking annoying," As soon as the last one left his mouth you picked up the broken glass and headed into the kitchen, slamming the door so you didn't have to listen to him anymore. Breaking down as soon as you sat down on the floor beside the bin. All you'd been trying to do these last few months was make sure he could have the best healing time. The doctors and boys were counting on you, wanting you to make sure that Yoongi healed nicely and he was throwing it back in your face.
"He's going to be fine Y/n," Namjoon reassured you as you watched Yoongi being wheeled into his hospital room. He'd just come back up from the surgery on his shoulder and he was still out from the medication that they'd given to him. The boys were all waiting with you from the moment that Yoongi went down, none of them wanted you or Yoongi to be alone while he went through this. It was only a small surgery but something that could drastically change his career if it went wrong so the boys were all waiting for answers.
"You'll look after him right, Noona?" Jungkook asked as he looked over at you, you looked to Namjoon who was already waiting for you to answer the maknae.
"Of course, I've taken some time off work so I can help with him," You'd already spoken to Namjoon. He thought it was the better option since all of the boys were going to be busy during the healing period.
"I'll be right there with him," You whispered, looking over at Yoongi in his room ready to go into him when his doctor began to walk towards you and the boys.
"The surgery went perfectly, he'll be fine as long as he rests it. He's going to need a lot of time off to heal. Someone will need to be there every step he takes," His doctor told you as he walked down to you and Namjoon, you were the ones down as Yoongi's emergency contacts on all his forms.
"I'd expect you'll be looking after him?" You nodded at the doctor and he nodded behind him to his office, ready to go over everything you would need to know on how to look after Yoongi and make sure he made the best recovery.
It felt like it had been forever since you and Yoongi had spoken to one another despite him just being in the other room, he was staring out of the window at the rain while you stayed in the kitchen trying to do anything except going into there and talk to him. It was blown out of proportion, both of your emotions were riding high since you'd been stuck together for so long. Lockdown and the surgery both playing a part in Yoongi's mindset. Looking back on it Yoongi knew it was a stupid thing to do when you were just doing what you were told to do but it didn't make him feel any less upset about it. For the last two months, you'd done nothing but hover around him as if he was about to break at any given moment and it was starting to get on his nerves. You were constantly asking him what he wanted you to do for him. Never letting him do anything on his own. No matter where he was you were there breathing down the back of his neck waiting to help him. He knew he was supposed to be thankful for it since you were the one person who was looking after him after his surgery but it just made him feel bad. It made him feel as though he couldn't do anything for himself and it built up inside of him until the point where he snapped at you and now neither of you were talking.
When he heard you moving he turned around to look at you, your head was down as you walked into the bathroom, ignoring him even though he hadn't said anything. Yoongi knew that even if he tried to say something you'd stay silent and lock yourself away from him and he couldn't blame you. The whole time you'd done nothing but make sure Yoongi was healing perfectly, he remembered everything you did for him. Cooking, cleaning, helping him in the shower or baths, making sure he could watch the boys preforming and being there for him when he got upset about not being able to be there with them.
The temperature in the bath was perfect and you looked at Yoongi who was standing in the doorway,
"Thanks," He whispered as he watched you, he'd gotten home four days ago and it was finally time that he could have a bath with the stitches in.
"The doctor said it'll be fine, as long as we don't soak the stitches," You told him as you moved the shower curtain out of the way so he could get into the bathtub easier.
"Will you get in with me?" He laughed as he began to kick off his boxers, waiting for you to help him with his shirt. He wasn't allowed to lift his arm up by himself, he needed someone to steady it for him while he changed or did anything that required using that arm.
"You want me to?" You giggled as you saw the blush creeping onto his cheeks, nodding his head as he watched you.
"Then sure," You whispered, waiting for him to get into the water before you would join him in the water. Stripping out of your clothes as soon as he was in the tub and climbing into the tub in front of him.
Even when he knew how tired you were, you were always there to make sure he had everything that he needed. All those times he would wake up in the dead of night in pain you would instantly wake up and stay awake with him so he didn't have to go through it all alone. He knew how much begging and pleading with your boss it had taken to manage to get the time off just to look after him and there he was throwing it back at you when all you were doing was being nice and doing as you were told. It was as if you were his one and only guardian angel, always there to look after him and he adored you for it. Even if he hadn't shown it and then yelled at you for being in the way when he was really just upset at himself for everything. Staring over at the bathroom door as he heard the shower running so he made his way over and tapped on the door softly.
"Y-Your tablets are on the table with some tea," You stuttered out and Yoongi instantly knew you were crying in there so he knocked again without a word. The door slowly opening to reveal you standing there, tears rolling down your cheeks with bloodshot eyes.
"Are you in pain? I can get the stronger painkillers-" You stopped talking as Yoongi wrapped his good arm around your waist and held onto you tightly. Kissing your shoulder as he held you, tears streaming harder down your face as you hugged him back. Relaxing against his embrace as you let go of every emotion you'd been feeling for the last couple of weeks.
"I'm sorry I yelled and said things I didn't mean...I-I'm tired and annoyed at myself," He whispered as he pulled back to look at you, reaching up to rub the tears away from your face, smiling weakly as you locked eyes with him he was going to keep saying sorry for as long as he took.
"We're both tired," You whimpered as you kissed his lips softly, trying to remind yourself that he didn't mean it and you knew it. The two of you had been having a lot of broken sleep so it was getting to you too much.
"You should take your meds, come on..." You whispered, pulling him in the direction of the kitchen but Yoongi stopped you.
"I'll take them, go and have a long bubble bath...I'll order some food?" You nodded at him, the idea of a nice hot bubble bath and take-out food sounded like the perfect combination right now.
"Then we'll curl up on the sofa and watch a movie until we fall asleep," He promised you as he looked at you, raising your hand to his lips and leaving a small kiss on it.
Tagline: @lyoongx @mitzwinchester @fan-ati--c @rjsmochii @kneel-begyourpardon @taestannie @innersooya @sw33tnight @sweeneyblue1 @acciocriativity @that-anxious-bisexual
#bts#bts x reader#bts x you#bts x y/n#bts imagine#bts imagines#yoongi#yoongi x reader#yoongi imagine#yoongi imagines#min yoongi#min yoongi x reader#min yoongi imagine#min yoongi imagines#suga#kim seokjin#seokjin#jin#jhope#jung hoseok#hoseok#namjoon#kim namjoon#park jimin#jimin#kim taehyung#taehyung#jeon jungkook#jungkook
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PLAYTHING ♡ ││ BAKUGO KATSUKI
Summary ║ Bakugou goes through his toys quite quickly. Perhaps a new doll will satisfy his needs?
Pairings ║ Bakugou Katsuki, f!reader
Word Count ║ 1k
Warnings ║ MINORS DNI , 18+
Author’s Note ║ dude honestly i had this idea while thinking about being fucked senseless and not being able to move or react after 👍🤠 please mind my poor writing skills, it’s 3am. spare me
“Shut it, whore,” a growl erupted from the back of Bakugou’s throat. With a tongue lolled and drool dribbling onto the soaked sheets, the glistening body whimpered before another mewl bubbled from their lips. The bed creaked and shook at the immense thrusts of the blonde, grunting as the puffed mouth sloppily swallowed him. His grip on the back of the neck tightened and his jaw clenched as he watched his load spilled and spewed along the body’s thighs and his abdomen. Pulling out, his brows furrowed when the body no longer stirred. His hand landed a smack on their ass, “Oi,” and they hiccupped as their body twitched, attempting to recover from the overwhelming pleasure.
“Are they... Alive?” Kirishima winced, taking a good look at the sinful mess his best friend made.
“You said this one was decent.” Bakugou pointedly said while pulling his pants up.
“They said they could handle it.” Kirishima shrugged, typing something on his phone ─ probably to have someone take care of the limp cum-covered body. “Don’t worry though,” the red-head grinned, “I already found another pretty thing for you.” Pulling out a tablet, Kirishima scrolled through a list of pictures before landing on yours. A display of your information and how to contact you was written out but Bakugou paid no mind. Buttoning up his shirt, he walked past the assistant.
“Tomorrow. Seven. They better be good.” The blonde said before closing the door.
“Excuse me. Are you Mr. Kirishima?” Turning around, the chirpy assistant was met with you, a pretty dolled up thing, fumbling with your fingers. He smiled. You would be perfect for his explosive friend.
“You must be Y/N! I’ve been waiting for you.” You placed your hand into his outreached one, “You’re cuter in person.” Glancing away, pink dusted your cheeks. You knew what you signed up for ─ knew who you were about to meet. In fact, you desperately planned this months in advance. Your delicate fingers could no longer please you and after seeing Katsuki’s picture, dress shirt hugging his broad chest and pants clinging to his toned thighs, your pussy throbbed and drooled from him.
After being guided and explained the evening plans ─ basically how you were about to be fucked and the slight dangers of it ─ you were left to wait in a warmly lit room. It wasn’t long, though. The door opened and with a soft gasp you stood up. His figured loomed, the slight lightning accenting his chiseled features, causing you to wet your dry throat.
“W-welco─”
“Strip.” His command was curt and exuded dominance. Your body instinctively shrunk. Not wanting to anger him, you did as he demanded, pulling the strings off your coat as he sat himself on the bed, leaning and showcasing his assets. Letting the jacket slide off your figure, you could feel the burn of his stare, breath hitching when your eyes met his.
“Come here.” As if your legs belonged to him, you walked towards him. A squeal escaped your mouth as he grabbed the top of your head, pushing you down. “Did I say with your feet? On your knees.”
“What d’you want?” Your eyes could not shift, staring straight at the bulge begging to be freed. Your nose practically brushed it, allowing you to get a whiff of his musk, eyes rolling at the scent.
“‘m want your dick.” You said, having no more control over your desire or thoughts, mouth salivating at the feast before you.
“’heard that before,” he scoffed, mocking your pathetic plea, “where d’you want it?”
“‘don’t care. Just, in.” He menacingly smirked, as if he liked your answer.
“Then this should be fine.” Without warning, he pried your mouth open, a startled noise gurgled from your throat. With his other hand, he freed his cock, gave it a few pumps before shoving it down your cavity. He hissed as your teeth grazed his length. “Wider, bitch.”
Tears clung to your lashes, gagging on his size. Your hands gripped his flexing thighs, eyes rolling while his tip repeatedly kissed the back of your throat. You pressed your thighs together, drool and cum dribbled from your mouth and fell onto your breasts. You wanted more, toes curling at the thought of being pounded by his dick as your pussy deliciously devoured him. Your muffled moans mixed with his groans created a lewd symphony, ringing in your ears.
His movements stilled, thick ropes of his creamy seeds coated your mouth and burning your abused throat. You whined as his iron-grip pulled your roots, choking on his load. He kept his heavy cock in your mouth, watching, waiting. Waiting to see his beautiful cum flow down your throat, not bothered by the way your walls pulsed around his length. As soon as the lump was no longer visible he pulled himself out, jaw clenching as your lips continued to suck him.
“W-where are you going?” Unable to mask the desperation in your voice, panties feeling wet, sticky, and uncomfortable. Your cunt throbbed, begging to be touched, abused. He watched your sad form, knees scarlet, mascara running, and crawling towards him. “You still haven’t─”
“Haven’t fucked you? I don’t think you deserve it.”
“I-I’ve been good, haven’t I? I took your cock, didn’t I? I made you feel good, right? P-please,” he liked how you looked, pent-up and a mess. The silence poked your anxious body. “Please, fuck me. I want your dick. ‘m want your dick so bad. You’ll give it to me, right? I’ve been a good girl. Please, please, fuck, please, me.” You sobbed, body burning from the frustration of being denied pleasure.
“Pathetic, whore.” Shaking off your desperate hands, he dressed himself, ignoring your pleas. You clawed his pressed pants, whining for him to stay and fuck your sopping pussy. Your need to quell your heat soon became too overwhelming and you searched for something ─ anything ─ to help. His warning eyes made you stop, thinking that if you obeyed and didn’t touch yourself, he would indulge you and give you what you craved.
A cry left your body as he closed the door on your hot, limp, body.
©riintarro 2021. do not repost/copy, alter, or share any of my works onto any other platforms.
#mouth frothing#treat me like a toy sir#my hero x reader#my hero smut#bnha x reader#bnha smut#bakugou katsuki#bakugou smut#bakugou#bnha imagines#my hero imagines#bakugou imagines#bnha x you#[💋] 一 wonderwhore
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Change of heart (Chapter 7)
Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6
Summary : Times are changing. After years of being oppressed, werewolves are taking a stand against humans , demanding equal rights and fair treatment. Heading the movement is Kim Taehyung, the breathtaking heir to the Kim fortune and one of the few remaining Alpha werewolves in the country. His disdain for the human race is well known and well warranted. They killed his family after all….. He wants to change the world , to put humans in their place but when his five year old daughter takes a shine to their very human neighbor , maybe he has to start with a change of heart , first.
: Pairing : Taehyung x OC / Werewolf AU!!
Genre : Romance, Explicit Content.
Chapter 7
The incessant buzzing of his phone was what woke Taehyung up, his entire body aching something fierce.
He groaned , spitting what felt like damp hair out of his mouth, blinking against the shaft of sunlight pouring into the room through the slats of the large windows . His bedroom faced the river, and every morning the sun spilled right into his bed , lighting the room up . He loved waking up to warmth and sometimes it made up for the absence of a warm body next to him on the bed.
But today, with her wrapped around him, he hated the intrusion....wanted nothing more than to burrow into the bed and stay there for the rest of the year.
It took him a second to realize that Mirae was lying on top of him and he was still, technically inside her. He had been so completely gone the previous night that he could barely remember a thing.
Other than the fact that he hadn’t had sex that good in his life. Ever.
Cupping the back of her head gently and wrapping one arm around her waist, he carefully rolled over, laying her gently on the bed next to him. She whimpered when he slid out of her and he winced when a rush of fluids spilled out of her, drenching his thighs and the sheets.
Bits of the night began to come back to him then.
Vague memories of fucking her to within an inch of her life.
Guilt began to coil around his insides as he pushed the hair of her face. She looked like she had been mauled by an animal. Hickeys bloomed all over her neck, her jaw and even on the fleshy curve of her cheeks. Her hair looked matted with sweat and damp and cum . He had a mental image of her then, weakly crawling away when he tried to push into her for the fifth time, and she had been too sore to take him , begging him to let her suck him off instead and he flinched when he remembered holding her down against the pillow and fucking her mouth.
He’d managed to keep his knot out of her mouth, but he’d also had a really fierce orgasm, and his release had pretty much ended up all over her.
His phone was still ringing and he reached across the bed to grab it, answering the call before checking who it was.
“Taehyung...are you alright?” It’s Dr. Lee and Taehyung blinks, surprised.
“Oh..yes. Dr. Lee , is everything okay?”
“I was only calling to check up on you. My sister told me that you were taking Ms. Yoon home and it made me wonder. Are you alright?”
“I’m fine, doc. In fact better than fine. My head is surprisingly clear. I was fully prepared for this thing to last like a week but I feel normal already.”
Dr. Lee laughed.
“Perks of biting your actual mate and not an impostor. How is she, by the way?”
Taehyung relaxed a bit, staring at the girl in his bed. He gently stroked the hair off her face, running the back of his fingers across the smooth skin of her cheeks.
“She’s ... fine.” He said roughly, “ Or as fine as you’d expect her to be.” He added as an afterthought, remembering that she had tried to get up from the bed for a drink of water and her legs had given out almost at once.
“And the mating mark? Did you dress it up like I told you?”
“Yes... It wasn’t that deep but you should probably drop by tomorrow and take a look at it anyway. “ An incessant beeping told him he was getting another call and he quickly apologized and hung up on the doctor taking the other call.
“Tae, the shipment isn’t here on time. We’ve been trying to find the CI who gave us the info and the fucker seems to have run aground. Either that or Yoon’s men got to him.... “ Seokjin’s voice trembled with frustration and anger.
“Oh...fuck hyung that’s bad. Okay, what does Namjoon think? “
“Namjoon says that we should go ahead with drilling that dude we caught during the raid last week, Jaehyun or whatever. He thinks he may have some clue because he was fucking one of the bigger suppliers’ daughter.”
Taehyung groaned.
“What about the reports from the lab? Did they test positive for any other controlled substance? I know we’ve only focused on a couple of them ...I don’t want to be blindsided by anything. “
“That scientist dude is a pain in the ass, refuses to talk to anyone but you and definitely only in person. “ Seokjin scoffed.
“That’s fine.. I’ll be there in an hour. “ Taehyung said sharply.
Seokjin made a noise of disapproval.
“What? Namjoon told me you were with your mate.... You’re going to leave her?”
Taehyung rolled his eyes at that.
“She’s not my actual mate hyung. As in... what we have isn’t like official or anything. She agreed to it because I asked her to help me out and she knows that this isn’t anything more than a business arrangement. I didn’t even want to do it but...sometimes you do things for the greater good....”
He moved to get up out of the bed , levering himself up to stand. He felt better than he had in weeks, his body thrumming with vitality and his mind sharp and clear.
“She’s human right? Is she actually okay?”
Taehyung scoffed at the implication .
“I’m not leaving her bleeding and unconscious, if that's’ what you’re wondering. I bought a bunch of pain stuff for her.... the kind humans use.” He felt that pang of disappointment again.
She was incredible....beautiful and kind and full of heart, yeah but the fact that she was a human was ...... It was just cruel to her.
. He had spouted some nonsense to her about wanting to do this everyday for the rest of their life but nothing could be farther from the truth than that. The idea of having to handle his bedmate with kid gloves made him jittery and nervous.
She was so fucking fragile and he had struggled so hard last night, holding back, over and over again and she had still come out of it completely wrecked.
If she were a wolf, she’d be perfectly fine by now. Healed and happy and probably even up for some morning sex.
And yes the last bit made him sound like a horny bastard but come on, he was a healthy young wolf and an Alpha at that and his libido had always been on the higher side.
He shook his head as though to clear the way his thoughts were heading. It was ridiculous that he was even thinking about this. It was over. He had claimed her. She was his. His wolf was calm now. He could go about his life without having to worry about going into rut or losing his mind at the thought of another wolf near her.
And he would not feel guilty about it.
there was something called the greater good. In the grand scheme of things, one night of discomfort would not cost her anything. But what he was doing was going to change the world for his people.
Seokjin’s voice filtered in through his thoughts.
“At least tell her before you leave, Taehyung. You’re literally the kind of bastard who would do something as insensitive as leave her after you mated her and then act like you did nothing wrong. ”
Annoyed , Taehyung hung up without replying.
Glancing at her, he moved to touch her cheeks again. She was asleep. Sound asleep by the look of it. It would be far more insensitive to wake her up. He would go and meet the guy about the lab results and get back here before she was up.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“Ow.”
I groaned , muffling my agony against the white sheets as I tried to will myself to get up. Breathe through the pain, I told myself firmly. You do not want to spend the entire day like this. You need a shower, stat.
“Taehyung?” I called out weakly, for what felt like the tenth time. But the eerie stillness in the room told me I was alone in the apartment.
I fumbled with my phone, fighting the urge to call him. If he had left, there had to have been a reason , a reason important enough for him to leave and it struck me again that I had been a little hasty, agreeing to this.
Fueled entirely by my wish to get rid of the excess amount of cum all over me., I dug both my elbows into the bed, lifting my self up to my hand and knees. The pain radiating from my spine, settling deep in my center and the harsh abrasions on my insides.....all of it was a reminder that I had definitely bitten off more than I could chew.
The first thing I did was grab the pain killers on the table, popping three of them into my mouth and dry swallowing. It was a little past eleven in the morning and I was starving. But I had to get a shower first.
The trip to the bathroom was an ordeal and I had to fight tears, just to stand.
Okay. Maybe a bath was in order than.
I fumbled with the taps, watching warm water fill the ceramic tub, sweating a bit in the humid room. I glanced at my thighs, lightly stroking the bruises and watching them bloom purple under my fingertips.
The pain was already ebbing, the tablets doing their thing and with my head a little clearer, my thoughts felt heavy. Regret churned, curdling in my gut and I could taste heartbreak on my tongue.
Sleeping with him had been a mistake.
A colossal fucking mistake, I thought desperately. I was already feeling abandoned and miserable. I wanted to throw on some clothes and go find him in his office . Wanted to curl into his lap and then refuse to leave.
But mostly I wanted to kick myself for feeling that way.
Taehyung wasn’t ..... available for any kind of relationship.
He was an Alpha werewolf and important man.
An important bureaucrat. Someone with power and responsibility. A man driven by his need to protect his kind and destroy anyone who meant him harm.
A man who would do anything to get his way , even if it meant seducing a human he didn’t even like.
And he had seduced me I thought , feeling unaccountably upset at myself.
In the vivid light of day, with my body aching so fierce and my head spinning , I could remember everything that happened the previous day with a sort of vivid clarity. And it was almost an out of body experience, like watching the whole thing happen to someone else.
The way he had framed his words, the soothing comfort, the reassurances. That stupid fucking dance in the living room with the most cliché song in the world, it was like something straight out of a chick-lit novel. Something only a naïve, immature , desperate woman would fall for.
What a cruel heartless bastard, I thought angrily. There was no way he didn’t know the effect of his words and actions on me. There was no way he didn’t know that he was purposely playing the part of a loving partner just to break down any defenses I may have put up.
And like an idiot I had fallen for it.
Staring around at the apartment and realizing he had just left me to fend for myself, without so much as a note....... After spouting all that nonsense about making sure I was comfortable.
And I realized with a jolt that he really only meant it for the sex. All that affection, all that concern had been just for the few hours he had me in his bed. When he meant he wanted to make me feel me meant it only for when we were having sex.
Now that he had got what he wanted , he was back to being the guy he actually was.
A complete stranger.
It made me feel so incredibly foolish .
Wetness spilled onto my foot and I realized the tub was overflowing. I closed the taps quickly before pulling the drain to lower the water level a bit.
Climbing in, I settled back against the hard edge of the tub, letting my eyes flutter shut as the warm water soothed my sore muscles.
“You’re up?”
Jungkook’s voice startled me, and I nearly went under.
“Careful.” Fingers gripped my shoulder, pulling me back to stability and I gasped out, running a hand over my face to get rid of the water.
“You... Where did you come from?” I stared at him , gripping the edges of the tub and watching him.
Jungkook looked like a breath of fresh air, hair slightly damp and clad in a white t shirt and blue jeans. He was grimacing a bit, eyebrows furrowed in evident annoyance.
“This entire room reeks.” He complained, turning on the ventilator in the corner of the bathroom.
I groaned, settling back and just staring at him as he rummaged in the cupboard, pulling out a few bottles, a fresh wash clothe and bottle of body wash.
My body hummed in delight at the thought of actually being cared for.
“I’m not even kidding, is this what having a mate is like? You look like you were in a fight with a thorny hedgerow.” He commented, making his way over , but not before stripping out of his shirt and wiggling out of his jeans.
I hummed, enjoying the view for a second as he finally settled on a small ottoman, right next to the tub.
I gave him a sweet smile.
“Why are you here?” I whispered. He reached over to press a kiss to my forehead.
“Hyung told me to come. He got caught up with work and he feels bad about leaving you here all by yourself.”
“Kim Taehyung....told you to come take care of me. Sounds fake but okay.”
Jungkook laughed.
“To be fair he actually told your brother. But Yugyeom’s busy and he also doesn’t want to see you naked and so he gave me a call.” Jungkook carefully squeezed a dollop of body wash onto the cloth, before gently smoothing the soft linen against my skin. His gaze held mine as he carefully lathered up my shoulders, my collarbones and the curve of my neck. He took care not to touch the dressing on my neck, where Taehyung had bitten me.
I smiled when one finger stretched out, tracing circles on my skin . Jungkook was too young to be subtle , and I felt a pang of guilt when I saw the very obvious look in his eye.
Arousal looked so blatant on his handsome face, lips parted, slicked wet. Eyes heavy and intent as he gently rubbed the skin near my throat, thumb now curving around my neck , gently pressing in.
His gaze met mine and I held it, feeling his hands move lower, fingers curling lightly on the curve of my breasts. When I felt the brush of his thumb on the hard peak of my nipple, I grabbed his wrist.
Tugging his hand away gently, I used my free hand to lightly flick his forehead.
“Behave.” I warned.
His gaze turned pouty and he let out a breathy, “ Just wanted to make you feel good noona.”
“You made me feel a billion times better just by showing up here today. But, I don’t want you to get mauled by Taehyung in case he’s feeling territorial again. ” I smiled, shaking my head. “ I’ll take it from here. Why don’t you go wait in the bedroom and I’ll call you when I’m done so you can help me out. of the tub.”
Which in itself , probably wouldn’t be necessary. The pills had done their trick and other than feeling well fucked, I didn’t particularly hurt.
“He doesn’t deserve you.” Jungkook’s voice was petulant , eyes clearly showing how upset he was. He moved back a bit but made no other attempt to leave.
“I thought you liked him.” I chuckled lightly as he carefully arranged the body wash and the washcloths near the tub. I reached for it myself, carefully scrubbing over my skin, for now ignoring the way Jungkook kept his eyes trained on my body as I pulled my legs up to wash them. It was odd, how little his gaze affected me compared to how my body had reacted to Taehyung last night.
With Jungkook it was...just physical.
I liked being touched , so I enjoyed sex with Jungkook.
With Taehyung it had been something so much more.
The very idea of Taehyung touching me, the idea of him wanting to touch me..that had been so overwhelming.
And so sex with Taehyung had blown my mind.
“What do you mean, like him? “ Jungkook frowned.
“It was always Tae hyung, this and Tae hyung that...” I teased. “ You were never subtle about your little man crush on him.”
I carefully grabbed the showerhead, wetting my hair gently.
Jungkook scoffed.
“Of course I like him. You can’t be a wolf and not like Kim Taehyung. He’s done so much for us.” He grabbed the shampoo off the counter but before I could take it from him, he squeezed a bit of it into his palms and sank his fingers into my hair.
“Let me do this for you, noona.,” He muttered , voice deep and soothing and I couldn’t contain the moan that escaped, his fingers feeling like heaven as they carefully lathered up the damp strands, massaging my scalp till my eyes fluttered shut.
“Taehyung has things he needs to do and ...well, I agreed to this just so he could avoid any distractions.” I said gently, reaching out and lightly touching his arm.
“That doesn’t give him the right to hurt you though. “
I laughed despite myself.
“Why do you think he hurt me?”
Jungkook stopped his ministrations.
“You wear your heart on your sleeve.”
I felt my breath catch at that. This thing with Jungkook, it wasn’t exactly the sort of thing where I felt comfortable enough sharing my feelings for someone else with him. I felt awful, embarrassed and annoyed that something I hadn’t even fully known myself was , apparently obvious to the world. .
Embarrassed because it would never be reciprocated.
Annoyed because I should have nipped this thing in the bud.
But I couldn’t talk about this now.
“It’s not... “ I hesitated. “ It’s not going to be a problem. For me. I’m going to fix it. “ The dull throb of the bite on my neck mocked me, even as I said it. I had agreed to something momentous , something that carried a lot of consequences behind it, and I had done it on a whim.
Taehyung with his honey dripping tongue and gentle but firm hands had made me dance to his tune so perfectly. But now that the act was over, I was definitely in danger of drowning.
“ So, you’re just going to hang around while he does his own thing.” Jungkook frowned.
“Actually she’s free to walk out anytime she likes.”
Taehyung’s voice broke through the bathroom like a clanging cymbal and I jerked out of the tub in shock.
Jungkook startled too, eyes going wide as he scrambled to his feet.
Taehyung looked like he had stepped right out of a magazine.
He was wearing a perfectly pressed pinstriped white button down and teal green slacks , a slim patterned tie , in hues of green and red, perfectly knotted at the base of his throat and he also had on a waistcoat, fitting him like a glove, setting off his broad shoulders and trim waist.
He had his hair styled into a perfect part, the thick silky locks arching into perfect side bangs that fell into his eyes.
Eyes that held a whole lot of fury as they took in the sight of me, naked in his tub while an almost naked Jungkook had his fingers buried in my hair.
“I thought you would still be sore from last night....but I suppose that isn’t true, if you felt the need to call for your fuck buddy so soon?” He drawled casually.
I felt anger swell inside me.
“ Jungkook was kind enough to help me out because I couldn’t even move.” I gritted out.
“A feat that required him to strip to his boxers?”
“Hyung, just chill. If I fucked her you would be able to smell it. “ Jungkook snapped, moving to shrug his clothes back on.
Taehyung ignored him , grabbing a pair of fluffy white towels from the linen closet.
He gave me a look.
“You done?” He asked shortly.
And somehow, its the sheer disinterest in his tone, the gaze that may as well be directed at a stranger on the fucking road..... That is what really stings.
I felt like the entire weight of every bad decision I had ever made in my life had just dropped on my head. Almost sagging from the sheer hurt permeating my entire body, I grabbed the edge of the tub and levered myself up, not even bothered that I was completely naked.
I stepped right out of the tub, completely ignoring the way my limbs practically screamed in protest at the movement.
I held my hand out for the towel, completely ignoring, Jungkook’s hasty, “ Fuck” or the way Taehyung’s eyes that had gone as wide as saucers.
He held the towel out and I yanked it out of his grip, wrapping the fabric around my body.
Taehyung let out a harsh, “ Get the fuck out of my house.” at Jungkook who quickly grabbed his jeans and stumbled out with a rushed.
“I’ll call you noona.”
I glared at Taehyung, refusing to so much as acknowledge him as I pushed past him into the living room.
“Jungkook wait, I’m coming with you.” I called out angrily and the wolf stopped, looking surprised as he finished pulling his jeans on, fumbling with his buttons.
“Leave, Jungkook.” Taehyung snapped.
“Uh....” Jungkook stared between the two of us.
“Why the fuck are you still here?” This time Taehyung’s voice was louder, deeper, bordering on a true snarl and Jungkook recoiled.
“Fine. I’ll just get a cab then.”
I turned to the bag with my clothes, grabbing the first thing I could get my hands on.
Taehyung’s voice came from behind me , tired and weary.
“Please don’t leave.”
I stopped, closing my eyes and willing myself not to completely lose it.
“Please , just.... I know I shouldn’t be angry. This thing with us is ...nothing.” He said softly, which , fucking ouch . Having him actually say it was so much worse.
But he wasn’t done.
“ Its just a fucking favor you’re doing me, i know that is what it is. We don’t owe each other anything I know , but if you're gonna see Jungkook just... not in my house okay. I didn’t like him with you...in my house.”
I turned around to stare at him.
“What do you think I was doing with him in your house Taehyung? He came over to help because Yugyeom was busy. You were the one who asked him to check up on me....weren’t you?”
Taehyung ran his fingers through his hair.
“I don’t fucking know...all I know is that my wolf smelled you and another alpha and-”
“You know you’re the only were who speaks like that...” I said angrily.
Taehyung blinked.
“Like what?”
“Like you and your wolf are two different entities. Like you can do any thing you want and then blame your damn wolf for it. And its beginning to piss me off.”
Taehyung flinched at that.
“I’m just... I’m trying to do this in a way that our lives don’t get fucked up. I can’t... Your father....”
“I know. I know my fucking father is a scumbag and that he needs to rot in hell and I am willing to help you do it. But if only you could just.... give me a fucking break .,...”
“I know...and I’m sorry. I just... I’m in a mess. Your father got rid of three of the dealers we could tie him to and it looks like there are other people involved in this whole thing. Other powerful men. I’m just... I’m not sure if I’m going to be able to do this without getting someone close to your father.”
I stared at him.
“Well, its not me. He hates my guts... He would never confide in me.”
“But he has a soft spot for a really close friend of mine....I believe you’ve met him....his name is Cha Eun Woo.”
I froze.
“Taehyung....” I groaned in disbelief.
“I wanted to ask you if you would pretend to date Cha Eun Woo...”
I felt like my head was about to splinter in two.
“Just long enough for me to get the info I need. Eun Woo is good at what he does and he can easily get into your father’s good graces, get him to confide in him and we could bring this entire fucking racket down...but the only way Eun woo could have access to your father would be through you.... “
Taehyung sounded desperate as he spoke, and I felt dangerously close to crying.
“So it wasn’t enough that you got to fuck me? You’re just gonna pimp me out to your friends now...” I choked out.
“Fucking hell, Rae...That’s not what this is....This is for the...”
“Greater good.....yeah... I know.... I fucking heard you today morning on the fucking phone...Telling your friend how you had to suffer through a night with me for the greater good. And that's just perfectly fine....what I really don’t understand is why you had to fucking pretend like you actually gave a shit about me.... “ I choked out , my eyes dampening against my wishes .
Taehyung froze, eyes wide.
Something awfully close to pity began to swim in them and I swallowed the bile rising up my throat.
“Fine. Tell your fucking friend to come pick me up.”
I couldn’t bring myself to even look at him.
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Author’s Note : Feedback is love.
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#taehyung smut#taehyung fanfic#taehyung au#bts smut#bts fics#bts au#taehyung werewolf au#bts werewolf au#taehyung fics
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