me constructing a deeply non canonical little fun time in my head that’s just for me <3

Trust me 28 ll Do you trust me? pt. 1

Staring down at your phone, you kept rereading your texts with Heeseung. Did he want to give you heartburn? That’s not exactly romantic, maybe he’s just confused? Your thoughts were interrupted when your heard a loud knock on your door. It was nearly 9 o’clock, who could be over this late? You turned to see your roommate laying in her bed with headphones blasting her favorite songs, was she expecting company?

You sighed, getting out of your comfortable, warm bed and walked to the door, hand out to grab the handle. Before you got the chance to open it, you heard another knock. Whoever it was had no patience, to which you opened the door. You were greeted with a shivering Sunghoon who didn’t look so pleased to be doing whatever he was doing at your door. “Sunghoon? What are you doing here, it’s late.” He noticed how your expression dropped a little when your eyes met his, knowing you were hoping for someone else to be at your door.

“I need you to come with me, I need help with something.” He said, lying through his teeth. You knew he was lying, raising your brows at him with a less pleased face, earning a sigh from him. “C’mon, y/n, it’s cold and I just need you to come with me.” Desperation laced his words and you hesitated before turning to slip on your shoes and grabbed your jacket. “If you’re planning to murder me, make it quick.” You joked, receiving a smile from him.

You were curious to where he was taking you, but you didn’t think to ask. Not until you found yourself in front of a car. Heeseung car, was he here? You felt nervous, smoothing out your hair as Sunghoon opened the passenger door. “Good luck.” Was all Sunghoon said before he waved goodbye and trialed back towards his dorm. Your mind was racing as you looked up at the driver, the dark night didn’t give you much of a visual of who it was, but their voice did.

“You should get in, we’re gonna be late.” Jake’s sweet aussie accent soothed your nerves, but didn’t settle your anticipation. You got into the passengers seat, clicking in your seatbelt as you looked to Jake. “Where am I going? The dance is tomorrow and you and Sunghoon are being weird.” This made Jake laugh, shaking his head a little as he ignored the last part. “You’ll be fine y/n, have faith in the thrill.” You tried, but having two boys bring you out of your dorm and drive your (crush) friends car around didn’t exactly help you have faith.

Jake sensed your tenseness, turning on the radio in hopes to help you relax. It was his playlist, Heeseung’s. The same playlist he played the night he took you on a drive. You couldn’t help but miss him. You had promised yourself you’d never fall for him again, yet you were slipping through the cracks. Maybe Jake was right, you should have faith in the thrill. Falling in love with him was the thrill of a lifetime. You seemed to have been caught up in thought, not realized that the car had came to a stop.

You looked back to Jake, eyeing his cheesy smile. “Here, take this.” He said as he handed you a key. What was this for? Was he really sending you off to your own death trap? You sent him a look, making him laugh once again. “You’ll be fine, I promise. The number is on the back.” 103. Was this some escape room type of key? Were you going to be on reality tv for some dumb prank? Your thoughts raced, yet you still unbuckled the seatbelt and got out the car. “Tell the girls I love them! And Riki too!!” You shouted as you walked up the stairs and into the building.

It was quiet, only the person at the front desk giving you a nod as you went on about your night. The signs had showed that the room you were going to was on this floor, this should be easy right? So you followed the signs, going down the hall and checking doors for the number you were looking for. It wasn’t long before you got to the door, the golden numbers 103 engraved into the door. Hesitantly, you pushed the key into the door, hearing the lock unhinge and open with just a push of the knob.

The room was quiet, there were some candles set around what you assumed was the living area. You stepped in, chewing on your lip and holding your breath. You didn’t have a clue what to expect, turning to shut the door. As if your worst dreams came true, you felt a presence behind you. You were frozen, not daring to turn and see whoever it may be. Instead, you spoke up. “Who are you?“ you asked, voice soft and slightly strained. You heard a chuckle, so deep and rich. Your heart was now racing faster than ever, hearing him speak up. “Do you trust me?”

855 wc

Start the year off with a bang, they said. It’ll be fun, they said. When y/n decided to sign up for a partner dance for her end of the year competition with her dance team, little did she know she’d be paired up with the one person she couldn’t stand most..Lee Heeseung.

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(a/n: there’s going to be another part to this chapter, following will the last chapter. Sorry it’s a shorter one, hope you guys are excited for the next chapter 👀)

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Don’t Be Sorry

In which Y/N’s past catches up to her... and Colson

Reader x Colson Baker

Warnings: Abuse (Graphic), cursing, violence.

A/N: Seriously, it gets detailed. If you are uncomfortable with domestic abuse/ violence then this is not the fic for you. If you are a victim of abuse, there are resources available for you. The National Domestic Violence Support Hotline is 1-800-799-SAFE (7233). 

Word Count: 2352

masterlist

“To good music and good friends” Colson shouted over the noise of the crowd. The group raised their glasses in a toast before downing the shot. “Now let’s fuckin party!” 

It was your first time out in a while. You liked to pretend it was because you were too busy. I have a job outside of writing music with you, you would always remind the older boy. But truthfully, you weren’t as attached to the party scene as your friends and did whatever you could to avoid them. 

But when Colson asked, well begged, you to go out with them to celebrate finishing Hotel Diablo you couldn’t say no. Colson’s face when you said yes almost made you excited. Almost.

But now on the crowded rooftop of a club you’d never been to in an outfit that was all too tight and all too short, you wished you’d made up an excuse to stay home. Luckily your friends made you forget your unease. 

“Y/N, watch me drink both of these beers in 10 seconds!” Rook shouted, holding two bottles in his hands. You laughed, shaking your head slightly at his antics and pulling out your phone to time him. 

“Ok, go.” You said as he brought the bottles up to his mouth, chugging both in an astounding 9.75 seconds. “Dude that’s insane.” You showed him the timer and he cheered, dragging you to the bar. 

“I’m getting you a drink, whaddyu want?” Rook asked as he waved down the bartender. “Rum and coke?” He questioned, knowing your order by heart at this point.

“How’d you guess.” You asked with a smile on your face. 

“It’s a talent.” Rook laughed, arms flailing as he bowed dramatically. 

The pair of you got your drinks and returned to your group in the middle of the dance floor. When you got back Slim dramatically held out his hand for you to dance with him, and you guys jumped around to the music. 

The drink in your veins made you a little more comfortable. it wasn’t enough to get you into any trouble, just enough to loosen you up for a good time. As the group laughed at AJ’s terrible dance moves, you felt a chill come over the room. 

As the rest of your friends smiled and laughed, you looked around the dance floor, trying to find anything, or anyone, out of place. Unfortunately for you, you were much shorter than the men around you, so you couldn’t see much. 

Colson noticed you weren’t really with the group, and he followed your gaze around the room, leaning in close to you. “Everything ok?” He asked.

“Yeah, I just have this weird feeling.” 

He laughed, “drink too much?” 

You gave him a pointed look and then chuckled to signify you were joking. “No, I just, I don’t know how to explain it. I just have a bad feeling about something.” 

“Ok, well just don’t leave my side. I’ll keep you safe.” He winked at you and you rolled your eyes, but you appreciated the sincerity in his statement. 

Colson and you had been friends for years, but after your last relationship ended... roughly (to put it nicely), he let you stay at his place for a while until you got back on your feet. Since then you’d gotten closer to the tattooed man and come to trust him implicitly. 

You refocused on your friends, watching Pete and Baze racing pints of beers, with Baze winning (for obvious reasons). You laughed as Pete hung his head in shame. He scrunched his nose at you. “I don’t see you chugging anything.” 

This only made you laugh harder, “I don’t think what you were doing is considered “chugging.”” You made air quotes as he put on a mock hurt expression. 

“Y/N’s up next!” Slim shouted and your eyes went wide. 

“Oh hell no, man. I leave that shit up to you guys.” You smiled as he shook his head profusely. 

“Nope, you gotta do it. Rook’s already getting the beer.”

You hung your head, knowing there was no arguing with Slim. “Fine, but I’m gonna lose and then I’m gonna be mad. So if I’m mad, its your fault.” You shook your head as the boys howled. 

Rook came back with two beers in his hand, handing you one. “I’ll give you a head start.” Slim smiled.

“Fuck no, man.” You said before bringing the beer to your lips, chugging the drink. Slim was taken off guard and ended up starting a few seconds after you, which was all the advantage you needed. 

You raised your hands in victory as AJ picked you up in celebration, the boys cheering for you as Slim hung his head. Once you landed back on your feet, Rook threw his arm around your shoulders, “Y/N is the fuckin bomb.” 

You loved this feeling, you loved being surrounded by your friends who loved you. You giggled as he leaned into you, making you stumble under his weight. 

“Oh look, Y/Ns surrounded by all her little man-whores.” His voice sobered you up instantly and made every bone in your body tense up. You looked up to Colson for support, but he was already focused on the man behind you. 

“Not even gonna look at me, damn. You’re really that much of a bitch, huh? Not even gonna say hi?” His voice was like poison in your veins. Every word he spoke reminded you of the last time you saw him. You subconsciously reached up to your neck, rubbing your throat.

“Get the fuck away from her dude.” Colson said shortly. You tried to catch his eye. You wanted to beg him not to make a scene, to just take your hand and leave. But it was too late for that. 

“And who the fuck are you?” Jason, your ex-boyfriend, moved towards Colson and into your view. You flashed back to the night in his living room, his back facing you just like it was now, before he turned around and-

Luckily, Rook’s hand squeezing your shoulder pulled you from your thoughts. You turned to look at him, his head cocked and his eyes questioning. You simply shook your head at him. You looked back to Colson who was seething. You caught Pete’s eye behind him and mouthed, we need to leave.

Pete nodded, grabbing Colson’s arm lightly, but the blond only shook off his friends grasp. 

“Hey, there’s this really cool music store down the street that’s still open, we should go check it out.” AJ said, his eyes trained on you. Thank god for AJ.

“Yeah, that sounds like a great idea.” Pete said, “Colson let’s go check it out.” 

You could see Jason’s face change when he figured out who the blond man was. “Yeah, Colson, why don’t you take your bitch and get out of here.”

“Don’t fucking call her that.” Colson moved closer to him and your eyes widened in fear. 

“What? A bitch? That’s what she is, a slutty fucking bitch.” With every word, Jason moved closer to your friend until the two men were almost touching. Tears stung your eyes as you flashed back again. 

“You stupid fucking whore. Who the fuck do you think you are? Fucking around with some asshole rapper! Did you forget you fucking belong to me?”

His words still rang in your mind. You could feel your body begin to shut down, your lungs gasping for breath just like they had that day. 

You were brought back to reality by the screams of protest as Colson pushed your ex-boyfriend away from him, causing Jason’s fist to make contact with Colson’s jaw. 

“You think you can get away with making me look like an idiot? I’m your fucking boyfriend, not him.”

Jason’s fist made contact with your left cheek and your knees failed to hold you up. The man caught you before you hit the ground, leaning forward to pin you against the wall behind you. 

“Y/N, c’mon, let’s go.” Rook’s arm fell to the small of your back as he escorted you through the crowd, Slim following you. You made your way down the stairs, the two boys helping to support your weight. 

“I’m gonna make you remember who you belong to.” 

Jason pinned your arms above your head as he pressed you further into the wall. His free hand made its way up your chest to your throat. His soft grasp turned into a squeeze around your neck. 

“Jason please-”

You tried to talk, but few words could come out. You struggled for air as his eyes grew darker and darker. 

“You think you can go and fuck around with whoever you want, don’t you?”

You shook your head, but he continued.

“You’re a goddamn slut, and you need to learn your lesson.” 

Your vision began to blur.

“Y/N, you okay?” You came back to reality to find yourself in the alley between the club and the neighboring building. Slim was standing in front of you, Rook to your side as you leaned against the wall behind you. 

You shook your head in response and he let out a sigh. Suddenly the door slammed open and you flinched at the noise. 

“I’m gonna fucking kill him.”

“I’m gonna fucking kill you.”

You kneed Jason as a last resort before you lost consciousness, and now you were running through the house. You ran into the bathroom, locking the door behind you and pulling your phone from your pocket, not even noticing the new crack in the screen. You searched for the first name you could think of.

“Colson?”

“Colson, take a breath, man!” AJ yelled as he followed the tall blond man outside. 

Colson was pacing a few feet away from you as you tried to focus on breathing, your hand subconsciously reaching for your neck again, as if you were trying to pry his invisible hand off of you. 

Pete moved in front of you, taking in your state of fear. Other than Colson, Pete was the only one who had any idea about your ex. He didn’t know the whole story, only that it ended violently. 

“Hey, you okay?” He asked, keeping his distance as he leaned against the other wall across from you. 

You sniffled and wiped your face, nodding quickly as you realized most of your friends- save for Baze and Colson- were watching you. “Sorry guys- he’s just an ex. He’s kind of an asshole.” 

“Really kid? We couldn’t tell.” AJ tried to joke, and you cracked a small smile, trying to convince them you were ok. 

Your breathing started to slow, and you felt yourself coming down from your panicked state, until you caught Colson’s fist making contact with the wall of the club.  

“Open this fucking door bitch!”

Jason’s fists beat against the door- the only thing standing between you and him.

“He’s gonna kill me Cols. I’m so scared.”

Your sobs rang through the phone as the banging intensified. 

“He can’t save you now, bitch! Not such a big man now, are ya? Colson!”

“Colson!” Baze berated the blond man, who recoiled in pain. “Get your shit together, bro.” He said, quieter.

Colson looked up at his friend and then past him to meet your eyes. His blue orbs softened at the tears in yours. “I’m so sorry, Y/N.” He whispered, walking over to you. 

He leaned forward against the wall you already occupied, his arms above your head as his head drooped down to watch you. You looked up at him, your hand reaching up to touch his face where Jason had made contact. 

He flinched when your skin met his, causing you to jerk your hand back, afraid he would yell at you for hurting him. 

“It’s okay, I was just surprised is all.” He whispered before grabbing your hand and bringing it back up to his chin. You ran your fingers over the forming bruise lightly, another tear falling from your eyes. 

“I’m so sorry.” You whispered. “I didn’t think he’d- I didn’t know...” You trailed off, looking down and dropping your hand from Colson’s face. 

“Hey, hey, hey.” He moved one hand to gently tilt your face up, leaning down to be closer to you, “Look at me. This was not your fault. Okay? You don’t need to be sorry for anything, babe. You did nothing wrong.” 

“I just- if I hadn’t called you that night-”

“You wouldn’t be here. Y/N if you hadn’t called me you could’ve been seriously hurt. He could’ve killed you.” 

You took a shaky breath in, sniffling. Colson sniffled too. “Y/N, this is nothing, okay? I would take a thousand more punches like this if it means that douchebag never comes near you again. I mean it. Don’t blame yourself for this, okay?” You nod, reaching your arms up to wrap around his neck as you bury your head into his shoulder, your nose pressed against his neck. 

His arms wrapped around you and you could hear his sniffles in your ear as his lips pressed against your hair. “Thank you.” You mumble into his neck, pressing your lips against the hot skin. 

“Hey! Get the fuck out of here! This isn’t some fucking party you can photograph. Fuck off with your cameras!” Pete yelled, causing you to release Colson and look towards the commotion. You briefly see a figure in the distance before a white flash blinds you. 

“Fuckin paps.” Colson whispered, his arms still wrapped around your waist. 

“Let’s get outta here, guys.” Slim says, leading everyone back into the club to leave through the back door. Colson interlocked your hand with his as you stepped into the building, keeping you as close to him as possible as you squeezed your way through the crowd. 

Once you loaded yourselves into the van, you leaned your head on Colson’s shoulder, your hands still interlocked. “Can I stay at yours tonight?” You asked in a whisper. Colson simply pressed a kiss to your forehead, his hand leaving yours to wrap around you and pull you closer to him.  

Invisible String of Fate

Inukag Fluff Week Prompt: Soulmates (Born For Each Other)

Ao3 Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/33148606

It was always interesting to watch people date others whose red string was not connected to their own. It reminded Kagome that life worked in funny ways, and that everyone meets people for a reason, even if that person is not who they end up with. It was also a reason as to why she never bothered dating anyone, because if she could see everyone’s red strings, and no one was at the end of hers, there was no reason to put herself in a lose-lose situation.

Not everybody could see these red strings, but unfortunately for her she could. It was normal for people to be able to see their string and their soulmate's string, but incredibly rare for people to see everyone’s strings. Kagome was one of those rare few people on the planet who could, and she neither loved nor hated it.

Being a “fate seeker” or whatever the internet liked to call it was not as cute as none seekers thought it was. It sucked watching people whose strings were not connected to try to work it out, only to end things later on. It sucked watching people whose string did connect not feel a spark whatsoever. Although, the worst part of it all was how most fate seekers refused to date, because to them there was no point. Their strings were an ongoing path of red that led to someone who was not there. Some people followed it, others ignored it, some chose to wait Others actually found the person at the end.

As a struggling college student, Kagome had no choice but to ignore her string and the people who asked for her number. There was no point in breaking a heart that is not hers to love.

Of course, there were times where she wished her fated soulmate would show up some day, but she liked to push away those dreams to focus on reality. College was her main priority, she could worry about possibly following her string after getting her degree.

“Order for Kagome!”, shouted the barista from behind the counter of her favorite coffee shop. She quickly skipped over to grab her drink and left the store, thoughts about fate and red strings now left behind her. She was running late and her best friend was going to kill her if she did not make it to her game on time.

She had a nasty habit of arriving either fashionably late or regrettably early to everything, and there was no in between. Everyone she knew teased her about it, but it was not her fault that she had horrible time management! For her, arriving at her destination unscathed was all that mattered.

Although, her best friend Sango might end her life if she noticed that she was late because of a much needed coffee run. Kagome had stayed up late last night studying for the statistics exam that was coming up, and she needed all of the practice she could get in order to pass the course with a C. A large cold brew was an absolute necessity, and Sango should understand that this life saving beverage is what got her to her game in the first place.

Lightly jogging and sipping through a straw should become an Olympic sport with how fast Kagome was doing it. She could see her University’s gymnasium on the horizon, and that meant she was about to win the gold. With five minutes to spare until the start of Sango’s volleyball game, she was sure she was going to make it in less than ten. The double doors were coming in closer and closer, her saving grace clutched carefully within her left hand. She was going to make it, and Sango was not going to kill her!

With three minutes left she flung open one of the doors and quietly made her way inside the gym. Quickly, she found an empty seat close to Sango’s teammates and sat down on the bleachers. The girls were lined up to start the match as they had just finished their warm up. Sango’s head poked out from the line up, her eyes squinting tight as she looked through the crowd before finally landing on Kagome. Her best friend heaved a sigh of relief, with a bright smile beaming at her right after and Kagome smiled back. The rest of the girls waved at her when they noticed that she had finally arrived, and Kagome waved back and sent them a thumbs up for good luck.

The game started with Sango on the attack as usual. Her spikes were always incredible to see in person, and she always gave her all during practice and matches. The girls reigned undefeated for the past three years, and they were aiming for a fourth. Their hard work and perseverance did not go unnoticed, as the gymnasium was always filled with spectators to watch the girls play.

As quickly as the match started, it had ended, with the girls taking all three sets. Although defeated, the opposing team did not let up for one second, which caused for a very lively and intense game. It was very fun to watch, and soon the girls were lining up again to officially end the match.

A few weird tugs to Kagome’s right arm had her looking around herself to see if anyone had tried to get her attention, but as she flicked around it seemed like no one had. She looked down at her arm and noticed her mini bag slipping down, and thinking nothing of it, she grabbed her bag and flung it around her shoulder so it didn’t fall again.

Somewhere beyond the cheering crowd she heard someone loudly grunt in pain, and Kagome could not help but wonder what happened for them to grunt so loudly.

The announcer's loud voice cracking through the speakers of the gym drowned out the pained grunting, and only amplified the cheering that echoed throughout. As the celebration neared its end, the girls volleyball team cleared their way out of the gym and headed towards their locker room. Kagome knew Sango would take a while before meeting up with her after the game, so Kagome had some time to kill while she waited.

While Kagome cleared out of the gym she continued to feel her arm move around, but she brushed it off as she was engulfed in a crowd of people. Both of her arms were being shoved left to right while she walked towards the exit. As she maneuvered her way out, she decided to sit down at the nearest empty table to wait for Sango. These after-match meetings could take a while, and she learned her freshman year that sitting and waiting was the best idea.

After a few minutes of rest, her hand started fidgeting once again. It slightly moved on its own and this time, Kagome had no excuses to use against the phenomenon. On instinct, she slammed her hand down on the table and covered it with the other, but it would not stop fidgeting!

A million thoughts raced inside of her head, and an anxiety started to climb up her torso and send goosebumps all over her skin. This weird hand movement had to mean that the person at the end of her string was close by, maybe even too close by, as if they were also on campus.

Feeling brave, and a little bit insane, Kagome quickly flung her arm up and listened for any people. To her dismay, she heard nothing, and laid her hand back onto the iron table to wait. A few seconds passed by when her arm swung towards the right, causing a painful tug to her pinky to shoot up her arm.

She was too excited and high off adrenaline to even care for the sharp pain that tugged at her pinky. Kagome knew she had watched her red string go taut before her arm was pulled away from her, and towards the direction of the opposite side of the gym. She wondered if the person on the other end knew what was happening, but quickly caught herself, because it was obvious they knew. Everyone can see their strings.

Still, she stayed seated at the table in anxious agony as she mustered up the courage to go look for this person. If they had the idea to pull her hand in different directions, then this person had to be curious about this situation too.

Her butt stayed glued to the iron bench. S he was too nervous to move, the outcome of this ordeal proving to be too much for the seeker. She had seen these things play out for twenty-four years, and she was not prepared for it to happen to her. The happy endings gave her a slight bit of hope to get up, but the nightmares she had seen kept her feet planted on the ground. What if they did not like each other, or were forced to meet and have different ideals? How would any of this work, and why did the fates put this into existence? This was a lot more stressful than relieving, and all Kagome wanted to do was find Sango and leave.

Another harsh tug to her arm had her jolting up and stumbling to the side, which had totally taken her out of her thoughts. She rubbed at her sore, red pinky and whined at the tinge of pain coming from it.

“Alright, I get it! You don’t have to be such a jerk!” She yelled at nobody in particular.

She slowly put her mini backpack through her arms so as to not to disturb her fated soulmate with any tugs, grabbed her empty cold brew cup, and left her spot at the table behind. It did not matter if she was ready or not, the fates already had this written into their book, and it was now up to them to see if sparks flew instantly.

She trudged through the now empty corridors of the hallway outside the gymnasium, her footsteps echoing with every new step. The gym to her left was now empty, only filled with staff as they cleared it out for tomorrow. It had been around twenty minutes since the game ended, and Sango definitely had a long way to go before she could meet up with her.

Another tug at her arm sent her reeling forward, and if it were not for her reflexes she would have landed on the floor. Luckily, she only tripped but was able to stabilize herself once again. While she glared at no one in particular, Kagome decided to toss her empty coffee cup into a trash can close by. There was some melted ice left inside the cup, and she did not want coffee water spilling on her if this tugging kept happening.

The red string looked super intimidating as she continued her walk towards the end of it, with it seemingly appearing to be shorter and shorter with every new step. Kagome’s heart was erratic, beating so fast it felt like it could break out of her chest from how nervous she was.

She was so focused on the string that she was not ready for the next pull, which had her tumbling awkwardly down to her knees. Growing frustrated, she pulled her arm back as a form of payback.

“I get that you’re getting impatient!” She yelled at the air, “But you keep making me stumble!”

Before she could fall once again, she saw the string go taut and reacted quickly, throwing her arm into her chest and stepping backwards for support. The string stilled and vibrated like it had been played on a guitar, and the person on the other end seemed to had fallen forward, because the thread loosened up a bit.

As she felt for the second pull, she was already ready and pulling back once again. “Stop being a jerk!” She laughed.

Her soulmate on the other side kept their game up, and suddenly this string meeting turned into a game of fated tug of war.

“Oh it’s on!” She announced.

Back and forth, the duo pulled forward and back in the competitive game. Kagome did not let up for a second, and she was grateful no one was around to watch her look like a fool pulling on an invisible string. The person on the other side was not giving up, and they only seemed to pull her even harder.

She was giving a good game; her footwork and arm strength were making a great team in the attempt to win this game of tug of war. She noticed that she had made a lot of progress in closing the distance between her and her person. Although, she had no idea just how close they were.

Coming out from the trees in the courtyard was a tall, built man with long, silver hair. She could not make out too much from afar, but the closer she got she could see two little triangles sitting on top of his head. A demon, her soulmate was a demon, and a very handsome demon at that.

Her companion also looked a bit starstruck when he spotted her, his vision of her probably much more in depth than hers. She thought it was a bit unfair that he could see her so clearly while she could only make out a few features that stood out. In a shot to pull him closer, she used all of her strength to pull herself back and get him to slide forward.

The attempt failed, with the demon being much stronger than she. It was obvious that he was not using all of his strength in this game. He grinned at her, and she noticed it a little too late, because as he pulled her forward she went stumbling towards him uncontrollably. Her legs were moving forward while her body was lingering back.

She collided with a broad chest, her small arms engulfing his torso in a hug in order for her to get herself back together. She could feel his muscular arms wrapped around her waist and back to help stabilize her, and she gasped at how weird they fit together.

“You okay?” He asked. His voice was deep, and she could feel it vibrate with her head still on his chest. She could practically hear the smirk that was on his face and she huffed.

Tearing her head away from his body, she looked up at him with furrowed brows. “Of course I’m okay, no thanks to you!” She had no idea the pout on her face was one of the cutest things the man has ever seen.

“What do ya mean? I was here to break your fall wasn’t I?” He teased.

She wanted to punch him in the arm for that. “You almost made me fall, and I would have if it wasn’t for your giant body in the way!” She poked him in the chest for extra effect.

The demon laughed, “Well next time, you shouldn’t pull so hard.” He lifted his left hand for her to see it, the red string tied securely to his pinky finger.

Kagome’s eyes widened, already forgetting the little banter they were having. She lifted her right hand to show him that her string was there as well. The red thread was finally no more than 5 inches long, with each end tied to one of their pinkies.

“What’s your name?” She hated how small her voice sounded at the question.

His amber eyes flickered from her pinky to her face, and she realized then and there that his eyes were the most beautiful color she has ever seen. “Name’s Inuyasha Taisho. Yours?”

She blushed unintentionally under his intense stare. “Kagome Higurashi.”

“Higurashi….” The demon, Inuyasha, thought out loud. “You’re friends with Sango?”

Kagome gasped excitedly, “Best friends! How do you know her?”

Inuyasha sighed, “My friend's got this insane crush on her, and he tries to talk to her whenever he can. She’s mentioned you a couple of times whenever I’m around for the conversation.” He grinned at her again, the little fangs poking out making him look a lot cuter than intimidating. “I’m glad I can finally put a face to the name.”

Kagome scoffed, the little smile on her face giving her away. “That was so lame.” She laughed.

Inuyasha chuckled, “It was worth a shot.”

His left ear swiveled towards the left, the other pointing straight at Kagome in case she spoke to him. The door to the girls locker room opened, and the volleyball team started to leave. Kagome noticed it a second later, and standing near the vending machines was another guy, his dark hair just long enough to make a little ponytail. She realized that he was waiting for somebody, and as her best friend walked through the door, immediately going towards the vending machines, it was easy for her to put two and two together.

“Oh my gosh!” Kagome gasped, “She hasn’t mentioned this to me yet!”

Inuyasha grunted in reply, “It’s only just recently that she’s been giving him her time and attention. Normally it would be a short greeting and she’d leave, but I guess his hard work is paying off.”

She hummed in response, “If you’re cute and persistent, even Sango can’t say no to a fun conversation.”

“Well, I think she’s too good for him, but who knows right?” He asked.

Kagome smiled, not just because Inuyasha had questioned fate, but also because she could see Sango and Inuyasha’s friend's strings. They were connected, pinky to pinky, and it seemed like they were trying to make the little small talk work first. It was no wonder Sango hadn’t told her about him yet, because as a seeker, it would have only worried her.

“Do you always just sit back and watch them?” Kagome asked, her teasing question making him shoot an eyebrow at her.

“Well, before, I hadn’t thought I’d meet my soulmate during a game of tug of war. So, it’s safe to say my afternoons weren’t as lively.”

Blushing at his response, she bit her bottom lip and Inuyasha had to stop himself from staring at her too hard. “Well, do you maybe want to go get something to eat? You know, instead of babysitting our adult friends while they’re on a date.”

A smirk played on his lips as he fought back a smile. “‘I'm pretty tired of babysitting him, yeah. He’s got this.” His golden eyes met her rich brown and she swore she heard his breath hitch.

“I, uh, know this pretty good pizza place not too far from here.” His ears flicked nervously and all Kagome wanted to do was touch them. “You down?”

She nodded excitedly, her stomach growling at the mention of pizza and Inuyasha could not hold back his laugh when his ears picked up on it. “Pizza sounds great.” She blushed.

He did not understand why this was all happening so fast, but he liked to see her blush. He wanted to keep making her blush, over and over again just to see her cheeks tint pink and her brown eyes sparkle. Before, Inuyasha had no faith that he would ever meet the person at the end of his string. He sort of figured that life was going to be unfair to him, and he was going to end up wondering where his soulmate was. Yet, here she is, standing in front of him with wavy hair, big brown eyes, and little freckles on her cheeks.

His best friend, Miroku, was not lying when he said it feels like butterflies the first time you lay your eyes on your soulmate.

Kagome felt the same way, unbeknownst to the man standing before her, that this feeling of floating on a cloud would envelope her entirely. She already liked his laugh and smile, and could not get enough of his cute little fluffy ears. His gold eyes were the most beautiful and intimidating feature about him. Not even his fangs or claws made her cower in fear.

She wanted to get to know him better, and he wanted the same. It was an overwhelmingly intense feeling that they could not escape, and as easy as everything seemed to be falling together, it would take a few weeks for it to completely come into place like a puzzle piece. This was just the beginning, and everything that Kagome had feared about the red string suddenly did not scare her anymore.

The pair took one more look at their friends who seemed to be way too interested in each other to notice them at all. Kagome and Inuyasha walked away from them to focus on their newfound journey of discovering more about their soulmate beyond the red string.

As the two made conversation on their way to lunch, other seekers near them could spot the little red string hanging in between their intertwined pinkies.

Midnight Swim

Summary: When a famous group comes to stay for a month in the holiday inn you are working at, you never expected to start a relationship with one of the idolized guys. And you had never thought you would go out for a midnight swim ever, until he asked you to.

Warnings: this is mainly just FLUFF, with just the tiniest bit of erotic body touching by the end, and that’s it! Also, we are dealing with an insecure reader, nothing too major, but still. You are warned.

Word Count: 3571

To say you were nervous would be the understatement of the year. It all still felt so very confusing in your head, like some sort of weird dream mixing with cold reality, this unexplainable feeling of fatal momentary bliss. From the very first unexplainable moments to the very breathtaking sensual last ones.

This summer job proved to be lifechanging for you. Honestly, the only reason you even agreed to coming to this remote holiday inn, beautifully surrounded by tall green mountains and bathed by a teal lake, was to escape the stressful problems from the city you lived in. All the toxicity of the people around you, the crumbling feeling of anxiety. Yearning for a breath of fresh air, you applied to be a receptionist during the busy season.

Starting in June, all would go well until the last week of July and the whole month of August. That’s when they arrived. When you met him.

No one told you this very popular group was renting the space for a full month while filming for a music video and some photoshoots for an apparently new album in the works. While preparing for what you assumed was another normal day, a large crew with big bags and large equipment came in through the inn’s door, alongside seven good-looking younger guys.

Someone, you assume their manager, asked you a few questions but you were so surprised it took you a few moments to respond. Your eyes crossed with almond shaped dark brown eyes, ends scrunching up with a smile hidden by the black face mask. His eyes looked so happy and awake for such an early morning that they just drew you in, apart from everyone’s else, but as soon as he looked back at you, your eyes avoided him and you felt your cheeks flushing.

As a recepcionist, you expected to only cross paths with them maybe once or twice a day, only when they would come in or go out and you’d be at the front desk, but it turns out you and the rest of the inn’s staff were asked to help the guests during the day, since there would be no other costumers for the next month. Probably to keep the famous group’s location as secretive as possible.

It started out unexpectedly ordinary, catching a glance or two your way while you helped around their set, an exchanged of ‘thank you’ and ‘you’re welcome’ when bringing them food. You truly could not see any reason such a winsome man would show any interest in your bulky large person, especially in the tight white shirt and red vest that evidenced your rolls at your sides and on your back, along with the dark grey knee-length skirt that made your legs look shorter and bigger than they already were. You never liked seeing yourself in the inn’s uniform, but it wasn’t your choice.

But then, after a day or two, the honey tanned skin man would constantly come around to help you moving the chairs or lifting a table, anything you would be doing that the crew asked, he would find himself next to you, defined dark pink lips smiling at you, wrinkles at corner of his eyes angling up.

He introduced himself by the third time you met, shaking your timid hand and asking for your name. Before you knew it, Hoseok knew more about you than you shared with most of the people you worked with during the summer. Full name, age, how long you’d been working at the inn, how long would you stay, where you were from, your family members and pets. Favorite colour, favorite season and why, the way you liked your coffee.

It creeped up on you. How much you grew to like him. Hoseok was so warm and inviting, so easy to get along with. Only he would get a true laugh out of you, from the depths of your stomach, and could get you talking for hours without realizing. Of course, he was an extroverted guy and got along well with everyone. But he payed close attention to you, something even the other guys in the group seemed to notice if their smirks and shared whispers when you came in the room were any indication.

Even so, you refused to believe he had any non-platonic interest in you. You were both totally different people that just happened to get along, that was it. That was what you told yourself when you woke up every day and your first thought was of him. When you walked into the cafeteria and searched for his fit frame in the room. When your heart expanded so much in your chest that it made it hard to breathe whenever he noticed you and smiled widely.

But even with all of this denial, there was no denying the way he kissed you in the infirmary room after you fell down and hit your head while on set for a photography shoot. With only a few bruises and an ice bag cooling down the bump at the side of your head, not even you could hypothesize it was some sort of hallucination. Not with the desperate look of worry when he burst in, something you had never seen in his face before. Not with the delicate way he held your hands in his warm and slightly clammy ones as the medic left the room. Not with the tears behind his nervous eyes, even as you promised him you were completely fine and there was nothing to worry about.

And definitely not with the way he got a hold of your chubby cheeks between his hands and pulled you in, eyes closing and head leaning to the side just instants before his lips were on yours with despairing pressure. And after the shock of the first few moments, you kissed him back. To the point that what he may have assumed was a simple peck turned into a head swooning and breath impeding session of deep and ardent kisses, filled with repressed want and love and passion.

The few weeks after that transformed into more than you could ever imagine and hope for. Brushing hands while passing by each other, sharing glances that spoke louder than words, stolen kisses in closet rooms, keeping the relationship a secret to the best of your abilities. You didn’t know if it would last, if it would even go past the month of August they would be staying here, but you couldn’t force yourself to care at the moment. You just enjoyed his company and affection.

With that said, at this particular moment in time, as you walked the dirt path, your nerves returned to the life long habit of stealing any joy associated with your plans. Hoseok had asked you to meet him by the lake, at a spot you both knew was away from any prying eyes, hidden between the emerald trees around the inn. He had excitedly talked about a midnight swim.

You weren’t sure how to bring it up to him that you had no intention of going swimming. More particularly, you were dreading the thought of even having to remove any article of clothing around him. Kissing and tight hugging and wandering hands over clothes was one thing, but you could not shake the fear of his reaction if Hoseok was to ever see more of your naked skin. You had seen a lot more of him than he had seen of you, if only because he had to change clothes for photoshoots and would get very hot when practicing with the boys, removing his shirt and switching to something a little cooler. You knew the body he had, that athletic build of a great dancer. The bewitching face of an artist. The humor and personality that so many women dreamed of finding.

And yet, he had found himself curious about you. Out of all the beautiful women in the world. In your mind, not only didn’t it line up, you weren’t about to risk it all by undressing and revealing all your imperfections for him.

“What are you thinking about?”

The sudden cheerful voice coming from the edge of the path had you screaming and jumping in place, having been completely absorbed by your thoughts the whole way over.

“God, you scared me!” you yelled, taking a hand to your racing heart.

“Sorry, Y/N, I didn’t mean to!” he apologized immediately, but instantly smiling that bright contagious smile of his and linking your arm in his as he pulled you along for the ride. “I was just wondering what you were thinking about. You looked so cute, deep in your head.”

“Hum? Oh, just some silly thoughts, not a big deal” you shrugged off, leaning in to him as you walked. You tried to keep your nerves to a minimum. “Anyone saw you leave? Asked where you were going?”

Hoseok made a face and shook his head no. “They were all sound asleep by the time I left. I already have a hard time falling asleep as it is, but knowing I was meeting you made it just impossible. I came out as soon as I could.”

“That’s sweet” you said, resting your chin in his shoulder and looking sweetly at him. “But that means you must be very tired. You sure you don’t want to go back? We can always do this another time.” As much as you tried, there was no denying your hopeful tone, wanting nothing more than for him to agree and forget the whole thing.

“Are you kidding? I already have my trunks on, I can’t wait” he excitedly shared. “We all went in the water this morning and it was amazing.”

“I noticed. Especially the way you trembled before actually getting in with Jungkook” you tease, remembering the scared and hesitant look on his face.

“Hey, I thought the water was deeper than it was!” he defended himself, back going all straight. “Turns out we have feet for almost half a mile before it gets deep, I didn’t know that.”

“They kept telling you it was safe and don’t think I didn’t hear you questioning if there were monsters in the water” you chuckle.

“And, we’re here!” he shouts in an attempt to change the subject. You laugh and shake your head before looking ahead at the end of the path, a small clearing before the earth met the water.

At night, the lake was painted a beautiful deep marine blue, water sparkling with the shine of the moonlight, tall in the starry sky above your heads. The trees reflected in the water as an upside world beneath it, silence only interrupted by the nocturnal creatures roaming around the greenery. This was exactly what a city girl like you so desperately needed.

“C’mon, let’s get in!” He propels, already taking off his sneakers and starting to undo the zipper of his hooded jacket, but your hand on his forearm stops him.

You lick your lips as you stare at the ground, heart hammering in your chest and unsure of how to say anything. Taking a deep breath, you glance back up at Hoseok’s confused stare.

“I, hum… I didn’t… bring a swimsuit” you confess in a low whisper.

After a moment of standstill, you notice Hoseok fidgeting his feet in place and scratching at his right cheek. Looking carefully up at him, you realize he is the one avoiding eye contact now, a slight colour painting his skin red.

“I don’t- I mean, I have nothing against-” he struggled with words for a moment. “Skinny dipping is cool by me if you… if you want, of course.”

Understanding he took your words in a whole different way, you chuckle embarrassed, taking your hands to hide your blushing face, before clarifying it to him.

“No, no, that’s not it! I mean, I don’t really wanna go in the water. You can totally go; I don’t mind at all! I’ll just… stay here and watch?”

That seems to confuse him even more than the notion you had any intent on going in naked.

“What? Why not? We’ll only stay in the shallow waters.”

You press your lips together and cross your arms around your middle tightly, eyes set on the lake instead of the man in front of you.

“That’s not really the problem, Hoseok…”

Maybe it was your body language, maybe it was the tremor in your voice or maybe it just dawned on him after a few more minutes of utter confusion, but when he stepped closer, took hold of your face in between his large hands and pecked at your pursued lips, his kind chocolate eyes told you he understood what was impeding you.

“Y/N, I know we just met not too long ago, but can you trust me on this? I really like you, truly, a lot, and that is not going to change if you go to a swim with me.” He smiled kindly and his eyes showed nothing but honesty, and yet it was hard to accept it.

“You say that, but…” What you wanted to say was ‘how can you like me when you are always surrounded by beautiful girls, singers and dancers that belong to your world instead of me?’.

“I won’t force you, but it’s a hot night and you are already sweating in this sweatshirt you’re in” he points out, cleaning a drop of sweat from your temple with his thumb. “How about this, I’ll go in first and I won’t look until you’re next to me. Okay?”

Taking your silence as a yes, Hoseok steps back and strips down to his swim shorts, delectable toned body on display until he carefully steps into the water and goes shoulder deep, the further his fears would allow him to go.

“It feels great, it’s your turn!” he yells, waving his hand and an open smile on his bright face before turning the other way, back to you.

Sighing, your hesitant hands give in to his wishes and you start undressing slowly, each second doubting your decisions. It felt like you would hurt him if you didn’t trust him, and it felt like he would hurt your feelings once you did and he saw you. There was no winning in your mind.

Down to your panties and bra, since you didn’t put on a swimsuit, it takes all of your courage to go ahead and step into the water, slowly pushing forward as the cold temperature cooled off your flushing skin. You called Hoseok once you were comfortably covered by the dark water, hiding you from your neck down.

He smiles when he looks back to find you in the water behind him, swimming your way with approval glinting in his eyes. He reaches his hands to you and you gave him yours in return, which he held underwater as he pulled you in and caught your mouth for a brain-shutting kiss.

“See? It’s not that bad, right?” he asks, still holding your hands and making you both float around the calm waves of the lake.

“I guess not” you concede, still unsure of how this would end.

“Just us two in a small lake, away from everyone, the bright moon and no dangerous animals around… It’s awesome!” he chuckles, splashing around a bit with carelessness.

“Yeah…” Feeling a bit better by now, you actually decide to tease him a bit. “If you don’t count the alligators, of course.”

The reaction is priceless. The carefree boy swimming around loses his stance, tripping and head sinking in the water as he gasps in surprise, hands splashing around this time in a panic, making it difficult for you to even go and catch his arms, helping him back up.

“Alligators!?” The desperate boy breathes out as soon as he stands back up, water running down his oblong face from his wet hair, a terrified look in his wide eyes and still trying to catch his breath.

“Kidding, I was kidding!” you reassure even as you are holding back your laugh, Hoseok’s hands clawing at your shoulders with how scared he got. “No animals in the lake, I promise.”

“I think I just had a heart-attack” he overreacts with a relieved expression.

“Well, now you know how I felt before coming here” it escapes you before you realize, the admission of how nervous you were.

Back on his feet and with a settled down mind, Hoseok comes closer and embraces you strongly, warm but wet arms coming around your almost submersed shoulders, water splashing around your bodies with the movement of such an act. You tense up at the feeling of skin on skin, the only barrier between your torsos being your bra. This was it, he would feel your voluptuous body and the body rolls that came with it.

“I’m glad you’re here, Y/N.” He whispers closely to your ear, one hand in your shoulder and the other tangling at the hairs at the back of our neck. “I never felt so strongly about someone like I feel about you.”

Surprised, you try and pull your head back but he doesn’t quite let you, sinking further into your arms and hiding his face in your shoulder. Butterflies flutter at the pit of your stomach and your skin tingles beneath the contact of his body against yours.  The arms that felt chained to heavy sinking rocks broke free and you smile as your hands move to rest at his biceps, soothing the skin there.

“Really?” you murmur back, almost in skepticism.

“Really. It’s the first time I fell for someone so quickly. It’s also the first time I came swimming at night with anyone. You’re really special to me, Y/N.”

Amazingly appeased by his words and lack of judgement of your body type, you find yourself giggling into his shoulder and hugging him back, feet lifting from the ground and allowing your bodies to float in the lake.

Hoseok presses his lips to the spot where your shoulder meets your neck and you reciprocate by landing a kiss by the end of his clavicle. Encouraged by that, he leaves hummingbird pecks up your neck to the soft skin of your jaw, one hand still at the back of your head and the other falling down to the curve at your lower back. Your own hands run up and down his naked spine as you sigh with pleasure.

Pulling you by your head just enough for you to lift your face to him, Hoseok kisses around your jaw, up to your cheeks, before claiming you mouth, lips moving slowly over yours in the most loving ways, tongue sweeping your bottom lip in an inquire for entrance, which you allow avidly. Still an exotic flavor he was to you, becoming ever more familiar each time.

Long kisses take their sweet time exploring the recesses of your mouth, the hand not holding your head in place traveling your body and discovering every single one of your insecurities and throwing them out with delicate caresses, shameless squeezes, desperate touching. Soon you are throwing your arms around his shoulder, pulling all your weight on him and forcing him to get his feet back in the ground so your heads stay above the water.

His hands end up attaching themselves to the fluffy skin around your ribcage, sending goosebumps all over your body, slowly climbing up until his palms are cupping your covered breasts, a hesitant touch that requires your permission for him to continue. Suddenly emboldened, you grab his hand under yours and lead him to squeeze your boobs at the same time you bite down on his lower lip just enough to pull it with you when you lean your head back. Hoseok groans heavily at that and needs no further encouraging.

Bodies mingle together in the lake and explore each other wondrously, alone with nature and the small waves of the lake, enjoying each other playfully but innocently enough, until the night grows longer and the skin grows cold. Infinitely happier than when you went in, you exit the lake with your almost naked body and hair dripping water and search for your clothes, hoping they would help you keep you warm until you reach a shower.

When you look back, you are surprised Hoseok is still waist down in the water, seemingly hesitant to come out.

“Hey, are you not coming?” you ask, jumbled.

“Yeah, in a sec” he says, avoiding his eyes.

“You must be cold, come on. Want me to grab your clothes?” you offer, still not understanding why he was still in the water when the hairs in his arms where standing up with the cold.

“I, hum… I have a slight problem. Can… Can you turn around and give me my pants?” he shyly asks, pointing at the shorts he had on top of his swimwear.

It dawns on you then and you chortle, ignoring his protests of not being able to control it and handing him his clothes as you turned your back as he requested and put on the rest of your clothes too. Hoseok refused to put on his jacket and instead held it waist high the rest of the way to the holiday inn, before wishing you goodnight and leaving back to his room.

"Soulmates”

Part Three Of Three: The Truth Of The Matter

Natasha Romanoff x Reader

Words: 1,825

Warnings: Angst. Death. Canon Endgame. I’m so sorry.

Request: For the anon who donated to the Australian Bushfires, who wanted angst. Well, you got it, buddy.

Summary: She loved you. Always.

A/N: Again, thanks to @missmonsters2 for helping me out with this idea.’ It’s shorter than the others. I know. But I tried my best lol.

(Not my GIF)

***

Your eyes fluttered open, showing you the bright blue sky of Wakanda above you, the treetops a beautiful green against the warm sun. Birds were chirping, bringing peace to your otherwise fuzzy body.

You were disorientated. That much was for sure. But you were forgetting something. Something important. You just knew you were. But what was it?

Leaves rustling and twigs shaping in half brought your attention to behind you. Moving your still laying head to peer above you, you saw a disgruntled looking Bucky, his hair matted with the battle that you had just lost.

Lost.

You had lost.

As Bucky whispered for Steve, you sat up, chest heaving.

Where the hell was Natasha?

Your eyes were wild as you looked around for her. Finding T’challa, a crouching Wanda, your eyes snapping to Sam rushing out from the trees. Along with the countless other Wakanda soldiers scattered around.

“Natasha?!” you yelled, fingers weaving through leaves, twigs, and dirt. Anything to hold you onto reality.

Where the fuck was everyone?

Hastily, you moved to stand.

“NATASHA?!” you roared. You had to find her. You needed to find her. God. You had to tell her how stupid you were. You had to tell her. You had to tell her.

“She’s not here.”

You looked up to find a strange man wearing a cape, and a goatee that he had looked like he had stolen from Tony, standing before you.

“Where the fuck is she?” you growled. You didn't know who this man was. But if he knew where Natasha was, you would stop at nothing to find her.

“I don’t know.” You were about to call bullshit when he spoke again. “But we are needed.” That’s when you noticed Peter, three others, and that weird tree dude that Thor had brought along with the raccoon guy, who was also nowhere to be seen, standing behind the cape-wearing Tony Stark wannabe. “It’s been five years. And there's a battle that is in dire need of our assistance.”

“It’s been how long now?”

***

You were looking around everywhere you could for Natasha when you had exited the portal from Wakanda. Because apparently the goatee guy was a wizard Named Stephen Strange, or Doctor Strange as his alias, and could also create portals.

Oh well, you've seen crazier things.

And this might count as one of them.

The compound, the very same one you had left not even a few days ago -in your time- was destroyed. Crumbling down into the crater where most of it had assumedly blown up, parts of the building still smoking and on fire.

You stood, wide-eyed and breathing heavy, looking at Thanos and his large army, along with the people and beings in yours.

Great. So you had to do this shit all over again.

Not even ten minutes break.

Fucking- A!

“Avengers-”

Hey, you knew that voice. Looking to your side you spotted Steve, not even third feet away from you. How you hadn’t noticed him before was beyond you. But then again, you were well-intended on finding Natasha before you could even imagine noticing anyone else.

God, you wished she was alright.

She had to be.

“Assemble.”

You scoffed humouredly to yourself. Well, at least he finally finished his sentence, and after years of you waiting on him. Not even a second later, you were racing off towards Thanos’s incoming army. If it really had been five years. They you were gonna give your all, to make sure that this would well-and-truly be the final battle that the purple titan, and all of his followers, would ever see.

Gasping for air as you glanced around, watching out for any incoming aliens, while you took a much-needed breather, when you spotted someone else you knew.

“Clint?” you asked, almost sceptically because of the man's appearance.

“Y/N?” he asked breathlessly, and you could tell he was so happy to see you.

Shaking your head to regain your thoughts, you remembered what you were originally going to ask the blonde man.

“Where’s Nat?” His jaw ticked and his eyes welled with tears. “Clint?” you asked slowly, but still no reply, “Clint, where’s Nat?”

He looked to the ground below your feet, steadily shaking his head.

“I’m so sorry,” he whispered.

“No.” You took a step back, your gun dropping from your hand and onto the battle-worn ground, as tears begin to well in your own eyes. “No, she can’t- Clint. It- It’s Nat. She’s strong. She’s so strong. She’s a fighter, Clint. She can’t have-”

“Y/N.” Salty tears rolled down his cheeks. “It’s true.”

Your second tear rolled down your face, falling to splatter upon the dirt beside your boots when the fire began to blase within you.

“Why?”

Clint inhaled a deep breath like he was about to tell you exactly what happened to the red-head. But instead, he looked off into the distance, where the battle was still raging, and where the purple titan Thanos stood.

Then it all clicked.

“Him,” you seethed, causing the tattooed man to look your way once again, not that you gave him the same treatment. Your eyes fixated on the giant who thought of himself as a god. “He’s the reason. He’s the reason that Natasha’s dead.”

Finally, you snapped your attention towards Clint. “Right?” you hissed, to which you only received a nod in return.

At Clint’s confirmation, you growled, picking up your gun and racing off into battle, once again. Swearing to deal out as much damage as you could, before you reach Thanos, fully intending for him to pay for all that he has caused. For everything, he has taken away. For Natasha.

***

It felt like you had blinked, and suddenly you were watching Tony Stark die in front of you.

You hadn't blinked. Of course, you hadn't. Blood coating your hands and all the way up your bare forearms, as you panted. The rage within you diminishing with every intake of stale, death-filled air.

Dropping to your knees, squeezing Tony’s shoulder lightly as he took his last breath. You allowed your tears to fall along with the others falling to their knee, finally letting yourself cry for Natasha. And now Tony.

How did life change so much in such a small amount of time? Was it even possible? It had to be. Because it was happening to you right now.

Your heart was slowly tearing into two, you could feel every tiny rip with each ragged gasp of breath, and tear that dropped. Quiet sobs racked through your body, you just couldn’t hold any of it in anymore, not the heartbreak, the hate for all that has happened, the rage you felt for that purple fuck. Noe of it. It was all pouring out of you, like a broken tap, the tears soaking your cheeks a clear indication of that.

Something- Or rather someone, bound into your side. Holding you tightly. Letting tears of their own drip onto your shoulder.

Wanda.

You could tell that much from the dirty hair brushing against your cheek.

You won.

But you, along with others lost so much.

***

“About, ...”

“What about her?”

“She-” A deep sigh, as if to control their emotions. “She found someone else. She’s happy.”

“Right,” you noted, struggling to find any emotions to react to it. “I don’t care.”

“Of course you do, Y/N,” Wanda said, “You loved her. Still do probably. You both believed you were soulmates, or as close as we can get in this world.”

“People are wrong all the time,” you said, never once taking your eyes away from the lake before you, “I know I was. And I was too blind to see what was in front of me, the whole time.”

“She loved you, y’know?” Clint asked, before clarifying who, “Natasha.”

“I do. I know that now.”

There was a long pause, filled only with you watching the ripples glide along the lake, the crunching of leaves and twigs, as people walked away from you, and breathing in the fresh nature air. You still weren't used to it, from all of the smoke-filled heavy air, from the battle two days prior. It was clean. Too clean for how dull and dirty the world felt to you now.

“She was with me not even three days ago... she lived five years without me- us. But, I had only seen her a few days ago. And now she’s gone,” you were in a daze as you spoke. You didn't even know who you were speaking to anymore. Or hell, if anyone was still there to hear you.

But the hand that was suddenly placed on your back, rubbing soft circles into it, let you know that you were, in fact, not alone.

Glancing to your side, you saw Wanda. She was one of the people who were the closest to knowing how you felt. How that lost feels. And you could see it in her sad tear-filled eyes, and understanding tight-lipped smile.

“She knows,” she told you, “She knows how you feel about her.”

It may have been stupid. It may have just been your mind. But you felt a strange wave of temporary hope, brightness, warmth. Her. You felt her presence. And you just couldn’t let that go without saying something. No matter how strange, and crazy it may seem.

“You mean everything to me, Nat.”

And with that. The feeling was gone.

***

“Y/N?” You looked over your shoulder to see Stephen Strange, standing not so far behind you. You turned your head to face the lake before you, Stephen taking that as his queue to approach you further, placing a hand on your shoulder. Almost everyone had left long ago, ready to begin living there lives again.

Lucky bastards.

What were you meant to do now?

Suddenly you had an inkling of how Natasha had felt. Even when you had still been around. The sadness that rested against the centre of your chest, making itself a home there. One that you knew you would have an extremely hard time getting it to leave.

“I saw fourteen-million-six-hundred and five different futures-” he informed you.

“I know. And we only won one.”

“Yes. We did.” He nodded solemnly, eyes moving to the side so that he could look at you, while still facing the lake with you. “But, she loved you in every one of them.”

With a pat to your shoulder, he left you alone.

Tears blurred your vision, sobs pounding against your chest, begging to be let out, but you held them in. You vaguely saw the dirt ground, green patches of what you assumed to be grass, along with a multitude of different browns, probably sticks, and other woodland objects, as your head moved on its own accord, to face the floor.

Your voice wavered as you spoke, threatening to crack with the pressure of your emotions.

“So did I.”

Taglist:

@womenlovingwomen-imagines, @shycucumbersandwich, @jxst-livin-my-life, @rofl987, @saltymaddiee, @marvelb00kwolf, @kangerland, @hernanadez-23

Sorry if this is becoming a Tsukki stan blog with all the requests you get for him lmao. All of your precious depressed!Tsukki asks got me thinking. How would he comfort his girlfriend who is having nightmares about him committing suicide after she found him cutting or maybe attempting? I had to break into a friend’s house a couple years ago to stop him from committing suicide and as much as I love him, the thought of that night still haunts me. Thank you for even reading this honestly. 🥺

Okay this was on my list for one of the requests I had to do asap bc it seems like a serious issue that needs attention so I’m putting off the matchups and hcs and doing this one first.

But like it’s still super late I’m sorry-

Plus there’s nothing to be sorry about lol this blog becoming a tsukki stan blog is 100% okay-

I sure as hell hope you’re doing alright, and that your friend is safe, you two seem like amazing people:)

Darling, I’m right here//Depressed!Tsukishima x Reader

Word count: 1600+ (A bit shorter than usual I’m sorry-)

Warnings: Depression, attempted suicide, mild swearing

Summary: You wake up to a reoccurring nightmare.

“Tsukishima?”

“Kei? What are you doing?”

Thank god you had to get to school extra early that day. There Tsukishima was, sitting on the train platform, his feet dangling off the edge. “Kei?” He stayed silent, ignoring you as a bright light headed towards his direction. You knew he was depressed, but you sure as hell didn’t think he would actually try to commit suicide. Your eyes widened as you watched his hands push himself off the platform, landing onto the train tracks. You lifted your leg, desperate to rush over and pull him back up, but it was as if your feet were bolted to the ground, refusing to move. “COME ON! MOVE!” The train was now nearing him, it was guaranteed that it would hit him if he didn’t get out in the next three seconds. You tried to scream, tears flowing freely down your face, but nothing came out. You felt your throat burning, however all that was produced from your mouth were inaudible wheezes and whimpers. Your legs wouldn’t cooperate with you however hard you tried, refusing to leave the cold ground. Your fists were clenched so tight crescent shaped marks etched themselves into your palm. Everything went into slow motion as the train came into sight. Tsukishima sent you one last glance, smiling softly, before everything was painted red and his body was gone. Time seemed to go straight back to normal right afterwards. At the same moment, your legs decided to detach themselves from the ground, and your voice came back almost instantly. “KEI? KEI NO!” You bolted to the platform, hoping to find something, anything, that could convince you this was fake. The air around you was thick, the smell of blood wafting into your nose as you stare at the train tracks in horror. “Why? Why couldn’t I save you just now?” Your heart was thumping furiously, blocking all foreign noise out as you squeezed your eyes shut. You don’t even know what happened, but the second you opened up your eyes, you were in the hall at school, students crowding around your locker. “Wait, you were there when he did it?” “Why didn’t you save him?” “How could you just let him jump off?” The questions never stopped coming. You slammed your hands over your ears, frantically trying to shut out the haunting voices. “No, nononononono stop, please! Please, I couldn’t do anything I couldn’t save him!”

“I COULDN’T SAVE YOU!”

You gasped, hitting your head on the coffee table as you bolted upwards, cold sweat dripping off your forehead as you panted. Tear stains were evident on your face, although you swear you didn’t know you were crying. Your hair was a disheveled mess, strands of baby hair sticking out of your head. Grabbing your sheets in one hand and your chest in the other, you continued to pant heavily, your mind racing in between your reoccurring nightmare and reality. Why was it that again? That was at least a year ago, and yet it still haunted you to this day. You were quick enough to grab Tsukishima from the platform during his attempt, but was that nightmare going to happen if you couldn’t pull him back to safety in time? Would he have died just like that, with no one knowing until a day later? Just the thought of the possibility made you shudder. Your hands made their way next to you, where your boyfriend was comfortably sleeping. Scrambling for his chest, you heaved a heavy sigh when you felt his steady heartbeat on your palm, breathing along to the beats on his chest. You gulped down your saliva, gripping his shirt tightly, as if you were too afraid to even let go for a second. You weren’t going to let him go ever again. Not when he obviously needed support and affection. You looked around Hinata’s living room. The movie from an hour ago was still on, however all the boys were already fast asleep. Kageyama was peacefully snoring away on the couch, Hinata was drooling all over his pillow, Nishinoya was grumbling in his sleep, Tanaka was making weird punching motions, and Yamaguchi stirred a little bit, his eyes squeezing shut. You pretended to lay down again, not wanting to concern the freckled boy with your sudden outburst. His body eventually went limp again as he continued to snore softly. Seeing that the coast was clear, you sat back up, trying to calm yourself down for the third time this week. Your hand was still grabbing onto the blond’s shirt, feeling the soft fabric in between your fingers.

“(Y...Y/N)?”

You froze.

Shit. You forgot that Tsukishima was a light sleeper.

Feeling him shift underneath your hand, you instantly let go of his shirt, gripping onto the mattress Hinata gave you two instead. The mattress dipped a bit, Tsukishima starting to carefully sit up. His hair was messier than usual, despite it being relatively short. Rubbing his eyes, he gave your hunched over figure a glance, completely confused. “(Y/N), what are you doing up so late?” Rapidly turning around, your hand landed on his chest, feeling for his heartbeat. Next, it went up to cup his cheeks, then his arms as your eyes took in his entire body frantically. Finally, your arms wrapped around his neck, burying yourself in his presence. Awkwardly, he returned the embrace by patting your back with one hand, the other arm wrapping around your waist. Your mind was on the verge of insanity. His attempt at suicide was still overwhelming to you, even if it’s already been an entire year. Most people would ask why you haven’t moved on, but truth be told, you couldn’t. Tsukishima was still depressed, he could very well try doing it again, maybe this time in an even more subtle way. In a way where not even you can stop him. You were scared. Anxious. Terrified. Just the thought of him leaving you forever was too much to bear, and brought you to tears. You would have frequent nightmares about him killing himself in various ways. Pills, hanging, jumping off a roof, and the worst of them all, jumping into the train tracks. His initial attempt. And every single time, you wouldn’t be able to save him. You would be stuck to the floor, hopelessly draining yourself of your energy as you try to scream. “I couldn’t save you, what? Why? How are you here? I thought you jumped in? This isn’t a dream right?” 

That was when it struck Tsukishima. Everything was clear as day now. The reason why you came to school sleep deprived every day. Why you constantly fell asleep in class. Why you were always last online at three in the morning. “Why did you never tell me about this?” He could feel the wetness of your tears as you forced your face into his neck more. “Didn’t want you t-to worry more than you already do. I’m gonna go crazy if I see another c-cut on that beautiful skin of yours.” His hand stopped, resting in the small of your back. “(Y/N)...” He didn’t think his self harming tendencies and his suicide attempt would affect you this much. He never thought anyone really cared. However when you hauled him home and screamed at him after catching him trying to jump into the train tracks, that ignited something in him. He now had someone he had to- no. Wanted to protect. One person cared enough to save him, and that was all it took for him to realise a bit of his self worth. He would do anything to keep you happy and safe. One of your first requests was for him to stop cutting. He had stopped scattering his skin with cuts, despite his crippling depression. He had done it just for you, and it felt amazing. You usually just waved him off with a casual “Insomnia’s a bitch” whenever he asked about the dark eye bags, or the questionable time you were last online. Never did the thought that you were still traumatised from events that happened over a year ago pass his mind. He should’ve known that this would affect you badly. How could he have been so selfish? Disregarding your emotions as he tried to end his life. He felt terrible. He was pissed at himself. For being so selfish and foolish.

He heaved a heavy sigh, mentally punching his nuts. Moving his hand from your back, he caressed your head tenderly, as if you were a glass statue that would break with the tiniest push. You sobbed even harder, squeezing him tight. “I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry.” His eyes fluttered shut as he held onto your trembling figure, peppering your head with tiny kisses in an attempt to comfort you. You smelled like shampoo and roses. He couldn’t help but take a sniff. You were the sole reason he was still here, living and breathing as he plummeted through his hole called life. Without you, he would’ve been dead ages ago. You were the guiding light in his life, reminding him about everything he should live for. Everything he should be happy for. Taking your head off his neck, you look straight at him with teary eyes. “You’re here right? This is real?” His heart shattered at the sight. His beautiful, amazing, precious, perfect girlfriend, was crying because of him. He pushed your head back into his shoulder, giving you the biggest hug as he held his grip on you tightly.

“Darling, I’m right here. I’m always gonna be here.”

Ahhhh I hope you liked it even though it’s a lot shorter than what I usually write🥺👉👈💖💕

Tags: @ewfilthymundane @izzyphantomgamer @sunshines-and-tatertots @tiger1719 @trashcanweeb @inlwlevi @itmekisuu @just-another-bored-writer @justachillgirl @burnt-tomato @for-ests @bokutokoutarou @kaylacinderella @random-fandomlover @xonfusedsoul @estherwritess @macaronnv @talks-a-lot-of-stuff @agentvicinity @sakusasgarbage @tiredgr3mlin @emsvegetables @fullmetalfangirl21 @poppirocks @mariechan123 @tokyoghoose

Dm or comment if you wanna be included in the taglist or if I forgot to tag you!

Heartbreak Hotel (d.s.) - Chapter Nineteen

A/N This chapter’s song is the sweet I Want You, I Need You, I Love You by Elvis of course

Daniel didn’t know that girls – humans – could scream that loudly. The way Elvis moved and danced on stage had all the girls screaming at the top of their lungs and Daniel was sure he’d lose his hearing by the end of the night. Regardless, he was thoroughly enjoying himself and singing right along with Loretta and the rest of the crowd as Elvis played his show. Loretta was absolutely shining, clinging right onto the rope barrier and smiling up at the man on stage like he was God Himself. You best bet she was screaming too, especially when Elvis reached down to hold her hand for a brief moment and she absolutely lost it, turning to her right to where Daniel stood and she shook him by his shoulders, screaming in disbelief.

“Daniel, did you see that?!”

Her obvious glee just made Daniel smile. Maybe Christian was right; he seemed to enjoy her company more than the show itself. But it was close.

About halfway through there was an intermission and Daniel and Loretta headed to the back of the stage space to the concession stand to grab some snacks.

Daniel pulled out his wallet and the few dollar bills that his mother gave him, “What do you want to eat?”

“You’re paying for me?” Loretta asked.

“Of course.”

“What a gentleman.” Loretta giggled, linking her arm in his to shuffle closer as they waited in line.

Daniel’s heart skipped a beat and he smiled down to his hands as he tucked the folded bills in his palm.

“I’m really craving some popcorn.” Loretta whispered, skimming the menu set up over the small concession stand.

“Really? Me too.” Daniel smiled.

“If you get something different, we can share.”

“Sure…like what?”

“Anything but chocolate.”

Daniel looked back at her, “You don’t like chocolate?”

“I know it’s weird. But why do you think I drink strawberry milkshakes?” Loretta shrugged.

“It’s not weird. I don’t like chocolate either.” Daniel whispered.

She glanced over at him and they shared small shy smiles before stepping up to the counter to order. Loretta kept her arm linked in his until they had to carry their snacks and drinks to one of the tables along the side wall and they sat down together to eat their spread of popcorn, gummy candies, and two bottles of Coca-Cola. Loretta’s gaze lingered on Daniel as he ate quietly and watched the crowd bustle about the room as intermission was about to end. He didn’t notice her staring as he popped a candy in his mouth.

They didn’t speak for a moment as the lights flicked to alert the crowd that the concert was to continue in a few moments; they each seemed in their own minds for a moment. Daniel could taste the mix of salty popcorn and sweetness of the candy with each bite, the flavours lining up perfectly to Loretta’s snacking. He suddenly didn’t feel like jamming out to Elvis anymore. His heart kind of hurt. He set his pop bottle back on the table and wiped his hands on his trousers with a sigh.

“Are you alright?” Loretta asked him, sensing his change in demeanor.

He pulled a small smile in her direction, “Yeah.”

Loretta paused her chewing for a moment to stare disbelieving at him but then turned back to the stage when Elvis returned to continue the show. He talked to the crowd a little bit and the girls that were right at the front were screaming and reaching for him, nearly fainting when he touched their hands.

Neither Loretta nor Daniel made a move to join the audience by the stage, both looking in different directions and obviously bluer than when the evening started and neither could quite place why.

“Alright, we’ll get right back into the music since that’s what you’re all here for.” Elvis said, his soft southern accent making all the girls swoon. “We’re gonna slow it down a little so everyone grab your honeys and let’s show some love.”

The band began to play slowly, the steady tune of ‘I Want You, I Need You, I Love You’ and Elvis’ smooth voice filled the small auditorium. The couples found each other around the dancefloor and swayed slowly together to the soft music; Daniel and Loretta being the only two sitting alone. Daniel watched the man on stage sing deeply, catching his eyes from across the room and just as quickly, their stare was broken.

Daniel stood up, suddenly filled with a strange shot of determination and he turned to Loretta, holding out his hand to her, “Would you like to dance?”

Her flat face lifted into a smile and she nodded, setting her hand in his as she stood up and he led her to the dancefloor. Daniel turned to face her, hesitantly setting his hands on her waist as hers rested against his shoulders, plenty of space between them.

“Every time that you're near

All my cares disappear

Darling, you're all that I'm living for

I want you, I need you, I love you

More and more”

It was as if Daniel couldn’t stop looking at her even if he tried, her green eyes sparkling in the spotlights of the stage and her light freckles that dotted her nose only kept him staring as if trying to memorize each one. He felt so warm with her and her hands on his shoulders nearly made his knees weak as they swayed softly to the gentle music, his hands merely ghosting her waist as if afraid to touch her.

“I thought I could live without romance

Until you came to me

But now I know that

I will go on loving you eternally”

Loretta shifted to hold her wrist behind his neck comfortably, pulling him a step closer and his hands glided tighter around her waist over the material of her lacy dress. Their eyes were still locked, unbreakable gazes, as if they were trying to read each other in perfect silence. Daniel’s body was urging him to pull her even closer and he fought the natural desire to tug her close, trying to simply picture Corbyn’s raised fist in front of his face instead. He was already pushing his luck dancing with her. The song certainly didn’t help and Daniel’s heart was racing in his chest until he felt like he might completely burst.

“Won't you please be my own?

Never leave me alone

'Cause I die every time we're apart

I want you, I need you, I love you

With all my heart”

Neither of them knew how it happened – maybe they were too distracted by the music – but soon they were nearly chest to chest; so close their noses were almost brushing as they stared silently, expressionlessly at each other. Loretta was a few inches shorter but not by much and she was staring up at him like she didn’t want to look at anything else for the rest of her life. Or at least that’s what Daniel felt like but maybe it was his own subconscious desires he was yearning to make a reality through any excuse he could reach for.

But she was beautiful. And he couldn’t deny the honest magnetization he felt towards her in the most innocent and literal way; he just couldn’t stay away from her. Corbyn’s threats meant nothing in that moment. Nothing at all.

“I thought I could live without romance

Until you came to me

But now I know that

I will go on loving you eternally

You please be my own?

Never leave me alone

'Cause I die every time we're apart

I want you, I need you, I love you

With all my heart.”

Be Very Afraid

lol i kinda just wanted to rewrite eugenes fear in be very afraid. i originally planned for this to be a lot shorter but i got carried away oops

(i know everyone else has rewritten this episode in some way but its fine)

Summary: Red rocks are appearing all over Corona, and Eugene sees what he hoped he would never have to experience. :(

Word count: 1398

(note: there’s a slight reference to execution but its really only there if you’re looking for it)

“Flynn!”

Eugene ignored the yelling at first. He was sure it wasn’t actually someone calling out to him, just him mishearing someone else as he walked through the town.

But the calls got closer and more distinct. Finally, Eugene turned around to see Lance running towards him. “Flynn!” he yelled again.

Eugene shot him a confused look. “What’s going on?”

He looked panicked and almost out of breath. “You have to take what you can and run,” Lance responded. Eugene almost laughed, thinking that he was playing some kind of weird prank, but his face showed that he was serious.

“What are you talking about? What do you mean take what I can?” he asked. Before Lance could answer, a swarm of guards ran up to them.

“Arrest them!” one of them called out. Suddenly, they grabbed Lance and handcuffed him, throwing him to the ground.

“Flynn! Run!” he yelled as they put a bag over his head and led him away. Eugene looked around for some kind of explanation as to what was going on, but the guards were coming closer.

He slowly started to back away, then he felt himself run into someone. He turned around to see Rapunzel standing there and he smiled. “Blondie! Thank goodness you’re here. Do you know what’s going on?” he asked hopefully.

She shot a glare back at him and his smile fell. She crossed her arms. “We decided to crack down on crime in Corona, starting with the criminals living in the castle,” she answered.

He felt a shiver run down his spine. Part of him had always expected that this would happen eventually. He expected that they would realize that he stole so much from the kingdom over the years and it would catch up to him like this. He didn’t think that the kingdom would forgive him forever, but he had always hoped that Rapunzel would fight for him if this happened.

As if she read his thoughts, she scoffed in a very un-Rapunzel way. “You really thought I could ever love a thief like you?” she laughed coldly. “Do you think you deserve to be loved after everything you’ve done?”

Suddenly, everyone in town seemed to appear out of nowhere and start yelling angrily. They all stared at him as the guards drew closer. He looked at Rapunzel, who was still glaring at him, then looked at Lance being dragged down the street as he struggled.

Run, he thought. I need to run. But he couldn’t. He couldn’t leave everything he had here. He had a family and friends in Corona now, he didn’t want to go. But looking at the faces of everyone around him, he realized he had no one.

If he stayed, he’d be locked up alone. If he left, he’d be on the run alone.

Everything he had was turning against him, and he had no choice but to go. He took one last glance at the city before he started running.

“He’s getting away!” Rapunzel yelled. The guards started chasing after him, but he kept going. He went as fast as his legs could take him, but the guards were getting closer. There was nothing he could do, and he wondered if he should just give up. It’s not like there was anything he could do if he got away. There would still be nothing left for him. Before he met Rapunzel, he at least had other thieves, but now, after living in the castle and fighting all the thieves that came to Corona, he wouldn’t even have them. He would be completely alone.

As he ran down the street, he realized he was approaching someone that looked like Rapunzel. That can’t be right, he thought. He had just run away from Rapunzel, and there was no way she got all the way there that fast. Her face was full of concern, not hatred like it had been before. He felt himself slow down, and she put her arm out to stop him as he drew closer.

“Are you okay? What’s going on?” she asked hurriedly. He turned back and saw that he was no longer being chased. He was out of breath and wanted nothing more than to collapse on the ground and cry. “Eugene?” Rapunzel questioned again after not receiving a response. She wasn't yelling at him anymore, she was back to being herself. She was worried about him instead of trying to hurt him.

He was breathing heavily and he wasn’t sure if it was just from the running. He felt Rapunzel’s hand slide into his, and it was enough to break him. His eyes filled with tears as he buried his head into her shoulder. She wrapped her arms around him, and he pulled her closer. “I’m sorry,” he said after a few moments.

She frowned. “For what?”

He didn’t know what to say. He was sorry for not being a better person, because she deserved more than a thief who just happened to stumble upon a tower in the woods. He was sorry that she fell in love with someone like him instead of someone who could give her what she deserved.

He was suddenly aware that they were still standing in the middle of town, and he was still sobbing into her neck. He hated feeling vulnerable in general, but he especially hated feeling vulnerable in public. He just didn’t think he had it in him to put on a charismatic persona right now. He lifted his head up and looked into her eyes, and she was still looking at him concerned. He tried to smile at her, but she wasn’t convinced.

Now that he was starting to tune back into reality, he noticed everyone around him was acting weird. People were screaming and running all over the place, and he wasn’t entirely sure if it was real or not anymore.

“Spiders! It’s a sp-sp-spider!” he heard a familiar voice yell. He looked over and saw Lance crying on the ground. As much as he hated seeing his best friend scared like that, he was happy to see that he was alive and not arrested.

“I guess these red rocks are showing people their worst fears,” Eugene said.

Rapunzel nodded and looked around at the people of Corona, then back to him. “Do you want to talk about what you saw?” she asked hesitantly.

Part of him wanted to say no, because he didn’t want to relive that. He wasn’t entirely sure what happened in the first place, but now he was here and Rapunzel was still holding his hand and he felt okay, even though his heart was still racing.

He sighed. “I guess it was like everything finally caught up to me. All my years of stealing, you know? And everyone turned against me and I…” he trailed off as he started to get choked up again. He shook his head. “But it wasn’t real, it’s not a big deal.”

She frowned and squeezed his hand. “It is a big deal, Eugene. You don’t need to hide your fears,” she assured him. “But that would never happen. No one is going to turn against you, your old life will stay behind you.”

He nodded and took a deep breath. Even though he knew it wasn’t real, the image of everyone against him was still burned into his mind. He may never forget the way Rapunzel looked at him with disgust in his hallucination even after the rocks went away.

But it wasn’t real. She was right, it would never happen. Everything would be okay, even if for the rest of the day he would have to remind himself that it wasn’t real whenever he saw crowds of people running towards him, and every time he saw Rapunzel, he wasn’t sure if she was real or not until she started telling him that she never loved him. But real life was okay. In real life, he had friends and a family and Rapunzel really did care about him.

As soon as the rocks were gone, everything was back to normal, but everyone was haunted by the things they saw. They had done their best to distract the people of Corona, but everyone remembered their hallucinations. Being afraid wasn’t fun for anyone, but an entire kingdom needing to stare their fears in the eyes meant everyone was pretty shaken up.

Lucky for Eugene, though, the memories and the fears didn’t feel so bad when Rapunzel was beside him.

Ugly Duckling | Chapter 2

Part 1 | Part 3

We were running to catch Greg and Tamara, when they opened a portal to God knows where, and jumped in, taking Henry with them.

        "No! No!" Emma shouted while David, her father, stopped her from jumping into what was only ocean now. "We have to follow them! There has to be a way!"

        "Not only do we not know where they went, but Hook stole the last bean!" Regina growled

        "I don't care!"

        "Without it, there's no way to follow"

        "There has to be," I argued. "We can't just let the, take Henry!"

        "They've taken Henry?" Gold asked as he and Belle showed up.

        "Yeah. You're the Dark One. Do something." David threatened.

        "Gold, help us." Emma all but begged.

        "There's no way." he shook his head, 'I spent a lifetime trying to cross worlds to find my son. There's no way in this world without a portal."

        "So that's it? He's gone forever?" I asked, defeated.

        "I refuse to believe that." Regina looked ready to kill.

        "What is that?" Belle looked past us, into the harbor.

        "Hook." 

~~~~~

        "What the hell are you doing here?" Emma asked as Hook stepped off his boat.

        "Helping."

        "Well, you're too late." Regina hissed.

        "Am I?" He raised an eyebrow in her direction.

        "I thought you didn't care about anyone but yourself."

        "Maybe I just needed reminding that I could."

        "Enough waiting around," Regina urged, stepping towards the Jolly Roger, "let's go."

        "Go? Where? I thought we were saving the town." Hook asked, confused.

        "We already did." David scoffed.

        "We need to get Henry." I explained, "Greg and Tamara took him through a portal."

        "Well, I offer my ship and my services to help follow them."

        "Well that's great, Hook, but how do we track them?" Regina asked.

        "Leave that to me." Gold interjected, "I can get us to where we need to go."

        "Well, let's do it." Mary Margaret gave a curt nod and we followed her onto the ship.

~~~~~

        "So, are you done trying to kill me?" Gold looked at Hook.

        "I believe so."

        "Excellent. Then you can live." He magic-ed as weird globe into his hand and pricked his finger, his blood dripped onto its surface and showed him an image.

        "Where is that? Where did they take Henry?" Regina pushed.

        "Neverland."

        Emma gave Hook the bean and he chucked it into the water. Pulling the strap of my Jessenger bag close, I gripped part of the rigging, something told me this want going to be a smooth ride.

~~~~~

        Not long after we arrived in the Never-sea, Gold fricked off on his own. Told us to stay where we were and he'd get Henry and get back.        

        It'd been almost an hour when there was a thud against the side of the ship. The ship began to rock as Snow and David tried to keep it steady.

        "What is it a shark?" Emma asked.

        "A Kraken?" David added.

        "Worse," Killian corrected, taking the helm, "Mermaids!"

        "Mermaids?!" Emma shouted.

        "Yes, and they're quite unpleasant."

        "You think? snapped as one of the mermaids hit the boat.

        "I'll try and outrun them."

        "How many of them are there?!" Emma looked over the rail and the screeching increased.

        Regina managed to catch one and throw a fireball at the water where the rest of them were, effectively scaring them off.

        As the rest of them bickered about what to do, the mermaid blew into a shell, summoning a storm. As the heroes fought, the storm got worse until Emma realized what was happening. The fighting was making the storm worse and to stop them and get their attention, she jumped off the side of the ship.

        Everyone stopped what they were doing to save her since she nearly drowned. Once she was back on the boat the storm had stopped altogether, but the Jolly Roger was too damaged to keep going. So we got it close enough to shore that it wouldn't capsize and waded our way to shore.

        Cold and wet, we clambered onto the beach, and they started going at each other... again.

        Emma gave a small speech and we were off to find Henry.

        We started a trek to a high peak where we would be able to see where Pan's camp was.

        "Jesus, it's hot." I huffed, pulling off my hoodie and tying it around my waist.

        "You alright?" Mary-Margaret asked, falling back to walk next to me.

        "Just a little floored, it's been an exciting couple of hours." I laughed.

~~~~~

        Well, the ridge turned out to be a bust since, in the past thirty years, it'd grown a bit. We backtracked a bit and made camp.

        It was when you tried to sleep on Neverland that you realized it was impossible. The thick air was filled with the sobs and cries of lost boys. Only, the adults couldn't seem to hear it. I pressed my head against the rock I was leaning against and pushed my headphones against my ears. 

        I watched Emma get up, and I gave her a questioning look.

        "Going for a quick walk," She mouthed and I nodded, leaning my head back against the rock and shutting my eyes.

        She was gone for a moment when I felt eyes on me. I glanced around and didn't see anything, then Emma stormed back into camp with a paper in her hand.

        Somewhere on the paper, there was a map that would reveal itself when Emma accepted 'who she really was.'

        She and the rest of the group worked on that while I kept an eye around the camp.

       Maybe I wandered a bit further from the group than I should have, but this was the last thing I expected.

        A sharp yelp bubbled out of my throat in surprise. It was until a few seconds after that I cried out a pained "Shit!"

        A spear was pinning me to a tree THROUGH my left shoulder, and blood was beginning to drip from where it stabbed me. A lost boy stepped out from behind a tree, a dark smirk on his lips.

        "What the actual Fuc-... Ah!" Yelling hurt worse than I thought it would. 

        The fucker started laughing, "Poor little girl! Did I hit you?"

        "Little gi- Bitch you fucking IMPALED ME!"

        "Well, that's what you get coming to Neverland." He got up in my face and before I could slap the smile off his face he grabbed the spear and pressed up.

        A scream ripped through me and I instinctively kneed him in the crotch. He let go and dropped to the ground.

        "You little bitch!" He pulled out a knife and went to stab my thigh when someone caught his arm.

        "What do you think you're doing?!" An unfamiliar voice hissed. They pulled the boy to his feet, turning their back to me as they reprimanded him. "You know Pan wants them alive!"

        "Yea but she-"

        "You wanna piss off Pan?" They, who I assumed was another Lost boy, grabbed the boy by the collar, lifting him off the ground. "Now get out of here, I'll clean up your mess."

           He threw the boy into the dirt and the shorter one scurried away.

        With an annoyed sigh, the new lost boy turned back to me. He was pale, had light blonde hair, and had a club by his side. He studied me for a moment before pressing his hand into my right shoulder.

        "This is gonna hurt." He muttered before gripping the spear and harshly pulling it out of my shoulder.

        "FUCK!" I fell into his chest and the hand that held me still wrapped around my waist.

        The moment his skin touched mine we both went rigged and goosebumps erupted across my body. The world froze.

        He was so much taller than me, I felt so small this close to him. The clunk of the spear against the ground pulled me back to reality.

        I hissed in pain as I pressed my hand to the hole in my shoulder that was now gushing blood. "Shit shit shit shit shit!" My mind was racing, tears falling from my eyes, as I tried to figure out what to do since at this rate I was gonna bleed out, and fast.

        I could barely come up with a coherent thought when I suddenly lifted into someone's arms. I looked up, wide-eyed, to see the face of the same lost boy, his hood falling back. His eyes were such a pretty shade of gray, they flickered to me.

        "What?" He snapped, and I realized I was staring.

       I looked away as it began to pour.

        He cursed and made a sharp turn, heading into a cave in a nearby cliffside. 

        He all but dropped me on the cold ground and went to make a fire, muttering about how this was going to be a while. My eyes wandered my surroundings until everything started to become fuzzy and my head started to spin. I looked down at my blood-soaked clothes and my eyelids began to feel really heavy.

        "Hey!" I felt someone shake me and I struggled to look at them. "Open your eyes damn it!"

        I groaned and went to push them away, but my arms felt like lead.

        They grabbed my face and growled, "Wake up!"

        I managed to open my eyes and met the face of the blonde lost boy, frustration filling his beautifully stormy eyes. I was light-headed and the word 'Pretty' slipped out without a second thought. His eyebrows scrunched and his hand let go of my face, moving to my injured shoulder.

        *3rd Person P.O.V.*

        He pulled his knife from its sheath and cut her sweatshirt up the middle. He watched as confusion grew in her glassy eyes, the bloodless would kill her if he didn't work fast. He peeled the sweater off her, leaving her in just her sports bra, and tore the, mostly, clean sleeve into a makeshift bandage.

        After efficiently wrapping the wound, he pulled her to rest against him as he tied the bandage off in the back. He went to move away but froze when she made a small noise and nuzzled into his neck. That when he realized the position he put himself in. It'd been a very long time since he's been this close to a girl, let alone one this cute, and half-naked.

        As carefully as he could, he took off his cloak and spread it on the ground before gently laying her on it.

        He sat across the fire from her and watched her breathing as thunder cracked over Neverland. Something inside him hurt like he was missing something he'd never noticed missing before. 

               *Bradey's P.O.V.*

        I woke up on the cold floor of the cave, the events leading up to me getting there a little fuzzy. I noticed my favorite sweatshirt torn up and bloody on the floor, and there was a shirt draped over me. I sighed and sat up, pain shooting through my left should. I winced as I pulled the shirt on, it smelled like campfire, pine, and something I couldn't quite put my finger on, but I liked it. Snatching up the remains of my hoodie, I started back for camp.

        "And where did you wander off too, love?" Hook asked as I trudged back into camp. "And what in the Hell are you wearing?"

        "Long story," I huffed, leaning against a tree to catch my breath.

        "There you are!" Mary-Margret fussed, coming over to check on me. She gasped when she saw the tattered shirt in my hands. "What happened? Where's all this blood come from?!"

        I pushed down the shoulder of the shirt I was wearing to show her the bloodied bandages, "Must've wandered into target practice," I smirked before my knees gave out.

        "Bloody Hell," Hook caught me and sat me on the ground, while Mary-Margret quickly got Regina who started healing.

        "You'll still have a scar, but you'll live," She explained and I thanked her. "How did you already not die? This wound is hours old."

        "I think one of the Lost Boys helped me." I said, "I'm not sure, the details kind of got lost on the blood loss."

        "And that's his shirt?" Hook motioned to what I was wearing.

        "I guess so. It's actually pretty comfy." I admitted.

        *3rd Person P.O.V."

        "So how was your little adventure, playing nurse?" Pan asked, appearing next to Felix, not far from camp.

        "You said you wanted them alive."

        "You're not wearing a shirt." Pan pointed out. "I want them alive for now. Don't go getting attached, Felix."

        The taller boy's eyes narrowed, "I'm not."

        "Keep it that way."

Errare Humanum Est - Pt.4

Learning to Breathe

Type: series, soulmate AU series  (part 1, part 2)   x Supernatural

Pairing: Steve Rogers x reader (past?)    Word count: 2600

Summary: You must get on the road so things finally start moving. One little thing tho - you really need some clothes of your own. ...yay?

Warnings: swearing, amnesia, Dean being Dean being themselves

The briefest guide to SPN characters of Team Free Will (at the end of the post)

Story masterlist

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You grew tired of staring at the screen after a while. There was so much information to look up, but you didn’t even know what you should be looking for. You had to mentally confirm Dean’s earlier words – brains were weird, like really freaking weird. You couldn’t remember your favourite drink or food or the reality of soulmates. On the other hand, you knew how to operate a tablet and what the Internet was. The names Natasha and Ryan popped up in your mind with no obvious reason, Rogers downright striking something in you.  

You wondered if any of those had to do something with your soulmate; your mind always ended up with him (and you were ninety percent sure they were a ‘he’), still fascinating you.

You shut the tablet down and eyed the couch. You knew you weren’t tired enough to fall asleep, your brain was too frantic for that, not to mention you had been sleeping (read dead, apparently), so you had your fill, but you didn’t have too many options. Your feet itched to take a walk, but you resisted – Sam had been right, you couldn’t just walk, less so in the middle of a night. The alarm on a nightstand read 4 a.m. You had no clue when Sam and Dean were usually getting up.

You didn’t know the men and their behaviour was puzzling you. They seemed to have never met you before, yet they were inclined to help you – with no outlook for a reward. God only knew why they were doing what they were and maybe quite literally the God. Castiel claimed to an angel after all. They had spoken of monsters. Who the hell were these guys?

It was hard to doubt their words – with little knowledge and unreliable sources on the internet, there was neither confirming nor denying their words. Then again, seeing Castiel just vanish into a thin air was pretty convincing.

You felt a headache starting to build up and decided to lie down on the couch at least, not even daring to hope for getting a shut-eye.

You were out in no time.

Gentle voice of a man you couldn’t remember guided you into the dreamland while whispering senseless words; there was one though that struck something deep inside you, making you jolt awake with a gasp and a faint pleasant taste on your lips.

“Doll…” the soft sigh followed you to full consciousness, echoing in your ears, tingling your spine.

“Morning, Natasha,” a different male voice greeted you and you yelped, spinning its direction, memories of yesterday events flooding your brain.

The tall long-haired man standing in the bathroom door was Sam and the man sitting on the bed, looking like he just woke up, short hair sticking in every direction and expression utterly confused, was Dean.

“S-sam,” you stuttered, your mind elsewhere.

Doll. Doll.

It definitely sounded like an endearment. A pet-name. The man’s voice was laced with emotions, gentle and warm, powerful and tender. You knew him. You must have known him, his name was on the tip of your tongue, begging to roll off and yet no sound came out when your lips parted. You blinked several times, chasing your dream, unable to add neither a name nor a face to the voice.

Your chest tightened, making it hard for you to breathe in, an inexplicable fear squeezing your lungs, sudden tears gathering in your eyes.

“Natasha?” Sam’s voice sounded from distance, strangely muffled. “Natasha? What’s wrong? Can you hear me?”

Your eyes automatically snapped up when a gentle hand appeared on your shoulder; Sam’s face was blurry, making you blink the salt droplets away.

Then, as if someone snapped their fingers, the suffocating feeling vanished and you welcomed the change with a fierce inhale.

“Natasha?”

“Yeah, yeah,” you panted. “I’m fine. I’m okay. Sorry to scare you first thing in the morning,” you tried to smile at him, probably failing.

He gave your shoulder a hesitant squeeze, his green-brown eyes mirroring concern. He exchanged a glance with Dean, who seemed way more awake than a minute ago.

“You good, kid?” he threw at you, his eyebrows furrowed.

Kid? Fire Princess? Sweetcheeks? What would come next? The ‘doll’ one? You hoped not.

Funnily enough, the addressing brought you back to reality better than anything else, your mind set straight; well, as much as it could be when you still didn’t know your own name.

Dean behaviour towards you was different than Sam’s and you couldn’t tell whether you liked better or not – it was just… different. And it ignited a spark inside you.

“I’m good, dad,” you hummed back, raising one corner of your lips, this time succeeding.

“Looks like she’s alright,” Dean smirked at Sam and the taller man rolled his eyes.

“It was just… a strange dream. It was probably nothing,” you explained, which caused Sam to finally release you. You found yourself missing the soothing weight of his hand and wondered what it said about you.

“Okay. We should get something to eat and get on the road. Dean?”

“Food. Coffee. Then think,” the man explained, making you chuckle. You stomach growled in agreement, blood rushing to your cheeks at that.

“Sounds good.”

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Running the facial recognition brought no results, much to Sam and Dean’s annoyance. It was ‘all quiet at Castiel’s front’, which was a statement you didn’t quite understand, but you assumed the expression was a private joke.

In other words, you had no clue who you were besides your soulmarks, the made-up name and a pleasant male voice following you from your dreams – not that you shared that with either of the brothers.

The name on the other hand….

“Uhm…” you started intelligently, as Dean and Sam were finishing their coffee (and yours, because you found out that coffee was not quite your thing), catching their attention. “I looked up some names common in the US and… uhm, Rogers-“

“Okay. That’s cool. Common enough, not too obvious like Smith. Good choice, Nat.” Dean glanced at you briefly. “You don’t mind being called Nat, right? ‘Cause I will call you that, it’s shorter.”

You blinked, confused. Huh? What did Dean mean? “Good choice…?”

“Well, yeah. We need to make you an ID. We should be heading to the bunker…” Dean mumbled absently, staring into the cup as if he wished there was more of that disgusting liquid.

“ID? Like… a fake one? You can do that?!”

They could make a fake ID? Seriously, who were they? Was Dean and Sam even their real names? You tried not to panic, because they had been nothing but kind to you, seemingly genuine and honest, but… but.

“You need to have one. We could just drop you at a police station and call it a day, but we think it’s better if you stay with us. For that, you need an ID,” Sam hurried to explain and you honestly didn’t know how to react.

You didn’t like the idea of lying about your identity to anyone, then again, you couldn’t remember your actual identity and apparently had been brought back from the death, so you were out of options so to speak.

“Okay,” you sighed, ignoring the unpleasant knot in your stomach. “You talked about… a bunker?”

Which didn’t sound ominous at all. Or creepy. Nope.

What did they do for living again?

“Yeah. It’s our base of operations.”

“For?” you urged Sam, your shoulders tense. Here it came; the fearsome reveal of the truth. Sam sighed and eyed you warily, as if agreeing with your unspoken thoughts.

“This is gonna sound crazy… but the unhuman things we talked about? We hunt them. We are finding strange crimes all over the country and go there to investigate them, finding the ‘cause’, which usually is some kind of a… monster….”

“And you kill the monster,” you finished breathlessly, feeling your heart jump to your throat.

Wow. Wow. You had no idea what to say to that announcement. There was no doubt Sam wasn’t lying. Why would he even make up such thing? They were killing monsters… things that were hurting people. It was unimaginable, incredible and impossible to wrap your head around, but strangely, it kinda…. made sense.

It only meant one thing.

“So… you’re heroes,” you exclaimed breathlessly, astounded.

The brothers stared at you blankly, frozen at your words.

What? What did you say wrong? They couldn’t be offended at that, right?

Dean chuckled and patted your shoulder. “Thanks, kid. I wish more people saw it this way…”

“Oh,” you paused, your mind racing. Right. They were able to make fake IDs. They probably didn’t have the jurisdiction to do what they did. And they were probably impersonating police officers of something like that to ‘investigate’, which meant they were technically outlaws. The revelation should give you creeps… but somehow, it didn’t. Knowing the truth actually calmed your nerves.  It probably had everything to do with the fact that knowing anything at all was better that knowing nothing – which seemed to be the standard for you now. “Right. Your lives must be peachy. Thanks for having me nevertheless.”

Now you most definitely broke them, didn’t you? They looked like you broke them. Dean’s expression was wary as he stared at you blankly and you shifted uncomfortably under his gaze.

“That’s it?” he asked, his green eyes looking like seeing the bottom of your soul. Ha! Was that a thing? Could he see your soulmate there?

Never mind…

“Uhm… yeah?”

Dean turned to Sam who was watching you with equally weirded out expression on his face and met Dean’s gaze as the shorter brother spoke up again.

“I love her.”

Your eyebrows shot up at that, but you recognized he wasn’t exactly confessing his undying love to you. Yet, you couldn’t deny that both brothers seemed happy about your reaction. It was strange, but all of what they were apparently doing, the way they lived… it didn’t feel that unreal.

For all you didn’t remember about your life and the world in general, you couldn’t help a distant feeling that there was a certain level of insane you should be used to.

Momentarily, you were grateful for that, because otherwise accepting all of this madness might actually cause you to fold like a house of cards. Instead, you just shrugged when Sam looked at you, relieved.

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Breakfast absolutely was the most important meal of the day for Sam and Dean. You spent almost an hour with it, but you couldn’t complain – they fed you, they clothed you (though the way they did was beginning to be a problem, people stared and you didn’t really feel comfortable wearing that), they were patient with you not knowing shit… . You didn’t want to be too much of a burden to them; there wasn’t much you could pay them back with. At least not yet.

You were in the town of Clayton in Ohio. You somehow understood that it was in the United States, you knew there was such thing, but you were glad to have it shown in a map – not that it told you much. The names of towns and cities didn’t remind you of anything. Nothing seemed familiar.

It sucked.

Apparently, the famous bunker Dean had mentioned was in Lebanon, Kansas, which was about a 13-hour drive. You were horrified, but once again kept your mouth shut, knowing very well that you had no right to say a word besides ‘thanks’.

You obediently climbed on a backseat of a fancy black car, not forgetting to compliment it instinctively. Dean flashed you a pleased grin, patting his ‘Baby’ on the roof before taking the wheel.

Funnily enough, he pulled over after what could be five minutes, earning himself your puzzled gaze. Huh? Sam seemed equally confused until he looked outside, nodding and catching your eye in the rear-view mirror.

“So, Natasha… ready to do some shopping?”

You weren’t; apparently, Dean wasn’t either, because he excused himself, taking a beeline with the car to get gas and left you alone with slightly uncomfortable Sam.

“I… I promise that when you manage to… help me get on my feet anyhow, I’ll pay you back,” you said quietly, worrying your teeth over your lower lip.

Sam quickly fixed his expression, his face inviting once more. It made you feel worse. He was suffering just like his finances… wait, how did they get finances? People didn’t pay them for what they were doing, were they?

“Don’t worry about that. I’m just wondering if I’m the right person to help you with shopping.”

You chuckled at that, imagining Sam carrying tens of shopping bags.

“I won’t need much, Sam. In fact, I wouldn’t need anything really-“

“Absolutely not,” he shook his head, his long hair swaying around his head. It was cute. “You need your own clothes. Dean’s too big and… his wardrobe is not exactly for women.”

“Well, I probably should merge with the crowd, right? And you’re the only crowd I know, so…” You looked around the shop, a slow smile spreading on your face when you found what you were looking for. You held up a female plaid shirt, clearly surprising Sam if his confused expression was anything to go by. “What do you think?”

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Shopping wasn’t terrible; you only picked necessities, blushing like a tomato (did you like tomatoes?) when you headed to certain department Sam didn’t dare to follow you to. You didn’t bother with cosmetics – you could use theirs and as far as you were concerned, you didn’t need the particular set of supplies for women just yet.

It took you only half an hour, Dean already waiting in front of the shop in his Chevrolet, lightly drumming his fingers on the steering wheel in a catchy tune. He grinned a boyish smile when he saw you, not at all bothered by your presence and continued enjoying the music from the radio. He was downright adorable.

Two men built like rocks who hunted monsters for living and you both found them cute within an hour. They were incredible goofballs. You loved it.

“Look at you, all in plaid and yet looking like a woman,” he hummed and your cheeks coloured in intense red.

“Dean, shut up,” Sam scolded him, eyebrows furrowing as he circled the car and took the shotgun seat.

“What?” Dean complained, turning his palms up. “That was a compliment.”

“It was accepted,” you assured him and smiled at both him and Sam, which caused the driver gesture towards you as if he was saying ‘see?’ to Sam – he only rolled his eyes in response.

“You don’t mind music, do you?”

“Not at all,” you replied to Dean, not even considering a different answer. Even if had been annoyed at it, you sure as hell wouldn’t say.

“I might actually love you, Nat,” Dean threw over his shoulder, staring the engine. “Oh and we’re not heading to the bunker. I found us a case-“

A case? As in… a monster case?!

“We already have a case!”

“It’s witches, Sammy. I couldn’t ignore that.”

You caught Sam’s expression in the rear-view mirror, his nose scrunched in disgust, which spiked your interest despite the worries twisting your gut.

“Oh God, I hate those.”

“As do I, Sammy, as do I,” Dean agreed grimly. “It’s in Lancaster, Pennsylvania. Oh and Garth agreed to make Nat an ID and deliver it to Bedford, which is on our way.”

Your lips parted in silent shock. What? That fast? Who was Garth? Also… just how much Dean managed to do while Sam was playing your walking wallet?

“Good. Thanks for taking care of that.”

“Thanks,” you echoed Sam’s words, too taken aback to speak out loud. “Thank you, Dean.”

“Sure thing, Nat. Sure thing. Now let’s get this show on the road.”

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Part 5

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Heya, lovlies!

I’m not posting another chapter for at least a week, because life, but I hope tha wait will be worth it. We’re gonna take a step back and see how Steve has been doing and how spy!Natasha is onto something. Thank you for reading!

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Tags: @cxptain​​​ @smilexcaptainx​​​ , @murdermornings​​​ @irepostthingsiwanttoseelater , @polarcrystall​​​ @eliza5616​​​ @rayofdawnworld @victor-criss-bish​​​ @skychild29​​​  @elysianecho​​​ @simmisblog​​​ @scentedsongrebel​​​ @orions-nebula​​​, @sergeantrosabellaswan​​​ @songofcosplay​​​, @ilovesupersoldiers​​​ @wxstedhexrt​​​ @silver-winter-wolf​​​ @guardian-tn @janieavalos  @vxidnik​​​, @patzammit​​​ , @annathesillyfriend​​​ @maravderofthephoenix​​​

Anyone wants in or out, shoot me a message or an ask :)) It’s (usually) no problem ;)

— disclaimer ➛ swearing maybe? trainee life?

genre ➛ angst and fluff

— title ➛ three a.m

summary ➛ It’s the final night as a trainee within the best K-pop company in the world. Oliver prepares to leave that life behind. Yet, one young boy has one last memory to create at three a.m.

AUTHOR’S NOTE:-  [mp3] when oliyong get to the window scene, make sure to listen to rosyln by bon iver (slowed would make it even prettier) [mp3] yeah it’s kinda shit but we move

masterlist

He turned left, the street he was used to for nine months greeting him. The black plastic bag rustling as it slowly swung backwards and forwards while Oliver sluggishly walked back to the accommodation his company had provided for him. It was nearing three a.m, the people who lived in this street were most likely huddled in their quaint homey places but also some were probably wide awake and alone - singular within their homes.

Oliver entered his apartment building he shared with other trainees, he ascended the first flight of stairs - the elevator was never on his favour. He only rode it once, the creaking wires and the flickering lights enough to make him prefer the stairs. Now, he was pressing the keypads - his mother’s birthday locked the dingy place up who he only shared with a frail boy named Taeyong. A trainee who only joined a few months back, Oliver found him cute - he was absolutely clueless when he first joined and those big puppy-like eyes made his heart warm up with love. Taeyong was like a younger brother he always wished for, and when he found out they lived together, he wanted to make sure that the young naive boy would adjust well. 

He taught him basic dance moves, a few chords on the guitar and rehearsed lightly with him. Oliver also made sure that his friend would eat, sometimes he would treat him out for some food with the little money he had from the monthly allowance his parents sent him. 

The machine let out a tune, and Oliver pushed the door open slowly - not wanting to wake up the only other person in the small space he lived in. When the older one first moved in nine months ago, there were other trainees who lived with him. Sammy and Jungwon, they had been with the company for years but realised they were not going to make their debut soon - so they packed their bags and left to their new lives, away from their dreams. For months, Oliver was always alone in this place, his passion for the stage beginning to slowly tumble but a new light had joined the house. They could both relate to each other, wanting to better themselves to debut or even debut in the same group. 

Taking off his worn-out trainers, he slipped into his black fluffy slippers and placed the bag on the countertop. “You’re here?” A high-pitched voice greeted Oliver and the boy nodded as he washed his hands. “Back from the convenience store, when did you come?” He asked as he took out the junk from the bag. “A few minutes ago...” Taeyong hesitated to speak, but it was Oliver’s last night with him. “It’s going to be weird without you.” 

Oliver let out a soft chuckle, “don’t miss me too much - you’ll find better ‘mentors’” He air quoted the last word and Taeyong was now giggling. The older popped the kettle on and pulled out his tattered cigarette box, “I never knew you smoked.” Taeyong arched a brow, curious on how Oli had gotten away with it considering the strict rules. 

“I only let it out when I’m frustrated or confused.” He replied, placing the lighter against the butt of the cigarette and shielded it for a few seconds before inhaling the nicotine and a cloud of grey left his mouth and nose. Taeyong coughed, suddenly feeling awkward and scrunched up his nose at the smell. “Sorry Taeyong, I’m filled with worries for the future.” The smoker cleared his throat and took another swig. 

“It’s okay, it’s not like you have to follow rules anymore.” The joke sounded monotone, or even depressing. The silence that followed made the situation at hand even more dark and gloomy than it already was - jokes beginning to tumble. Humour no longer able to protect reality. 

A boy who was confused with his identity, and what future he wanted to choose. Something he loved - music and dance - beginning to make him lose himself, and as well as that Oliver felt so lost with who he was and what he believed in. Continuing this life, would break him and hate the things he once loved. 

“Whether you’re signed underneath a strict label or not - you’re bound to break rules in this system.” He looked into Taeyong’s eyes, the kettle beginning to hiss but the frail boy wouldn’t look away. Oliver’s eyes were dark and mysterious, the person he was getting to know in the past few months seemed different from the one who stood there with his hands on either side of the table. He looked intimidating, scarier and just cold. 

“You seem different Oli.” The shorter one voiced his thoughts aloud, making the other one break out of his state through a cheeky smile wearing itself on his face. “Got a little philosophical there.” He spoke in a cheery tone, ripping open the cup ramen open as he picked up the kettle to pour into the snack. He folded the plastic lid back into place, letting nearby chopsticks hold the lid in place as the flavouring powder weaved its way in the starchy food. The cigarette still in between his lips, he looked real and tired. 

A sly smirk wore itself on Oliver Lee’s features, the end of the cigarette lighting up as he breathed in a new batch of nicotine into his lungs. A cloud of smoke left his lips again, Taeyong’s naive eyes still focusing on the stick in between his lips. Something so small was so addictive to many, that cigarette was a relief to many - like the man in front of him. Taeyong felt like Oliver was his cigarette, something he was irrationally addicted to, he didn’t know why. Moving away would be healthy for his best friend, and he should be happy for him but he was far from happy. Taeyong was upset, lost, confused and stupid. Nothing made sense in this world, he felt like a bullet soaring through the air, trying to reach something that he could penetrate and create home within. However, the bullet kept on flying. 

“Do you want some?” The older asked, pointing towards the cup ramen that had been spinning there for a few minutes. “Not really.” He replied, Oliver, nodding in acknowledgement - “let’s go sit in front of the window.” Taeyong suggested with a cute grin adorning his face, the idea making him all fuzzy inside. If he was confused with his feelings, he’d put that aside and fall for Oliver more - underneath the bright moonlight. 

Gosh, he really was entirely whipped. 

They got up and left the kitchen, taking a seat on the wooden floor which was often cold but they paid no mind to the temperature. The view they got with this place was beautiful, it was shocking as usually, companies housed their trainees in shitty dingy places with barely functioning necessities - which was true for the duo’s apartment. But the view made them forget of the worries they had, as well as the broken shower head. 

They stayed there while Oliver ate, finished smoking what he could of that cigarette. Being in the company of who he admired was enough for Taeyong, it was his last moment with him for a long time, the possibility of them re-uniting sparse and thin so he felt like he had every right to stay silent because it was better than useless small talk. “Why are you so quiet today?” Oliver asked, rubbing the butt of the cigarette on the top of the ramen plastic lid - he was now slightly liberated away from his thoughts. 

“Appreciating the lights I guess, it’s better than talking with no meaning.” His shoulders were slumped forward, eyes focused straight forward on the city lights as they switched on and off every few 10 minutes, reassuring him that three a.m made them feel restless. Just how he felt right now, heart quickening knowing that Oliver Lee was looking at him right now. 

“Your eyes sparkle a lot y’know.” He said, a light blush growing on Taeyong’s cheeks and turned towards the person who held his heart. “Don’t lie Oli.” “But they do, and there’s nothing wrong about it. They are actually quite pretty.” 

“Don’t say that,” Taeyong mumbled, palms beginning to sweat - he was slightly angry. “Say what?” Oliver was clueless, playing with his lighter in one hand as he looked into the city ahead of him. “You don’t say that to friends.” 

Oliver stopped with the lighter. The atmosphere turning tense, Taeyong felt like the only thing he could hear was his racing heart, beating quicker as every second turned into a different number. “You’re quite again,” Oliver spoke up, beginning to pull out the box of cigarettes for the second time. “Don’t smoke again, it hasn’t even been ten minutes since your last.” He wasn’t soft-spoken anymore, it was like all those months of annoyance at everything had been pointed at Oliver even though he didn’t mean too. 

The pressure to be perfect at his sparse talents, he didn’t know where to find them, the confusion towards having feelings you were supposed to have with a girl falling onto his best friend and roommate. His roommate not taking care of himself, harming and belittling himself. Taeyong knew Oliver felt like shit, it was so fucking obvious.

“Look at me Taeyong.” Oliver begun, waiting for a few seconds before heaving a sigh and repeating himself more sternly. He placed his rough calloused hands on the side of Taeyong’s neck, and the boy turned towards his touch. That place felt hot beneath his palm, itchy and the younger felt himself get sweatier. 

“What’s up?” 

He didn’t have words to explain himself, what would he even start with? Complaining about life, complaining about the greed he had for him? So, he pursed his lips in anger and stayed quiet and turned his head to look at his frantic hands. This led to Oliver getting closer, hand still situated on Taeyong’s neck, “speak Taeyong-ah.” 

With a swift movement, Taeyong leaned in closer and puckered his lips to meet Oliver’s. He felt hot and adrenaline had sought him out before his rational side had spoken, he pulled away slightly. At least he did it, at least he shared his first kiss with the person he admired. 

“I like you, Oliver. A lot, I don’t know how much but it is quite a la-” Amidst his ramble, the older one had placed his lips on Taeyong’s pouted ones. A habit he often had when he’d speak when worried or confused, Oliver placed his hands on the sides of Taeyong’s face as he kissed him harder, he parted his lips as the kiss got deeper. Lips on the other lips. Oliver tasted of cigarettes, his lips were soft and plush like Taeyong had always dreamed of. He had slipped a tongue in, both of them warming up with love and desire for one another.

He pulled back and had that stupid smirk Taeyong had fallen for. He didn’t know if he was mocking him or revelling in what had just happened, he wished it was the latter. 

Oliver pulled him in for one small kiss, and then they lay there below the moonlight shining through. The clock had just turned into four a.m, sleep enrapturing the both of them in each other’s warm arms - beneath a blanket Taeyong had strung along with him. They both wore their clothes, Taeyong felt safe in Oliver’s arms. 

Except it was short-lived, as he had now woken with sore muscles and an empty side. He slowly got up from his position, searching for traces of his love. But he was gone, and the only thing left was a note:

❛ I am glad to have been your first kiss and I am glad you were my friend in the last few months in Seoul. Focus on yourself now.  — Oliver Lee.❜

Ducktober/Duckvember Day 16 - Best friend

Heeeeyy look who's FINALLY updating!! I thought this chapter would be much shorter, but I got really carried away by Lena and Violet, it almost wrote itself. I hope you enjoy the result :)

-

“We’ll clean our guest room tomorrow, but in the meanwhile, you can sleep with Violet.”

Colin finishes with a smile, and Lena nods. Her fingers are tightly gripping the armrest of the comfortable couch she’s sitting on, next to Violet; she’s not nervous, not really, but she needs something to physically anchor her in reality. Because none of this feels real: being back from the shadow realm, Webby being safe and sound and still her best friend, and her getting to live in a real house, with real living, breathing beings, after being offered so by a new friend.

The word still feels somewhat alien to her. It used to be something she’d hear only from her aun- from Magica, and it wasn’t ever spoken without disgust and contempt wrapped all around it. And although Lena has grown accustomed to hear it being used as its intended meaning, as a term of endearment from Webby, it’s still a bit weird to think that yeah, she is someone’s friend, she has friends- oh, using its plural is even more bizarre, and Lena hopes it’s something she never grows tired of.

“Would you like to come and see your new sleeping quarters, Lena?” the small bird sitting next to her offers.

The question sounds very detached, but Lena now knows it isn’t, she knows it’s just the way Violet speaks, emotions sometimes having trouble to show beneath the polite and wordy sentences the young erudite strings.

“Yeah, sure.�� the duckling agrees, getting up and stretching her arms, a bit stiff after the long discussion she’s just had with the Sabrewings.

---------

Lena had been worried at first, when she had understood she wouldn’t be allowed to stay in the McDuck mansion. Webby had done her best to ask, plea, beg her grandmother and Scrooge for her best friend to stay with them, especially since she had nowhere to go save for a small, humid basement by the beach, but the adults had remained firm. Webby hadn’t needed to give Lena and Violet a full report of Bentina and Scrooge’s reasonings; the two girls had managed to hear it all, thanks to the makeshift stethoscopes Violet had crafted, sticking the devices on the office’s door and listening to the whole argument.

Lena can’t blame them, especially after what Magica did to Scrooge and his family. She had expected the outcome – but what she hadn’t expected had been the softness the old billionaire had explained his reasonings to Webby, and how he had carefully added that maybe, after Lena had grown used to a life amongst the living and without Magica’s influence, he would be happy to take her in.

Still, Lena had been left homeless after that discussion, and although it had worried her, she had done her best not to show any of that concern to her best friend. And that’s when Violet had intervened, before Lena could even attempt to lie to Webby:

“Perhaps I could call my parents. We have a spare room, and I am most certain they wouldn’t mind welcoming you at all, Lena.”

The usually snarky duckling had been left silent, for once- just like Webby. And before Lena could brush off Violet’s offer, her stupid pride getting in the way of a comfortable bed in a comfortable house owned by normal people, Webby had jumped at the small bird, giving her the warmest and most joyous hug she could- which, by Webby standards, meant that the two of them had ended in a happy pile on the floor, soon joined by Lena.

Surprisingly enough, Violet’s dads had agreed easily. One of them, Colin, is a preschool teacher, and he loves children; and although Lena is no toddler, she’s glad it made him open to the idea of fostering a duckling made out of someone’s – someone who very recently wreaked havoc on Duckburg – shadow. Her surprise must have shown on her disbelieving face, because Webby had been quick to elbow her:

“Not everyone’s like Magica, Lena.” the girl had smiled. “People are usually nice and happy to help.” “Yeah, I guess.”

Her reply had been as noncommittal as possible, but there’s truth to Webby’s words – it’s just that it’s still hard to imagine a world without Magica, even though there’s nothing Lena wants more.

“Are you alright, Lena?”

A pair of dark, inquisitive eyes had intently been watching her. It had startled Lena a bit, but she had remembered it had nothing to do with suspicion or malice; it had just been Violet’s weird, yet somewhat charming, analytical approach transpiring in her soft, piercing gaze.

“Yeah, it’s nothing. It’s just… weird to think I’m gonna have a room all to myself, in a real house and not in some abandoned, underground hideout.” “It’s going to be awesome!” Webby had chimed in, jumping on her spot. “We’ll help you carry all of your stuff, and then we can go shopping and you can get even more stuff to decorate, and-” “Woah, easy there, Pink.” Lena had fondly stopped her friend, still a bit dizzy at the perspective of living an almost normal life. “I don’t think Mr and Mr Sabrewing are going to be very happy if I just barge in and go all Extreme Makeover on their house.”

Violet had giggled, a charming sound startling both her friends and making them smile.

“I don’t think they would mind that much, actually. Papa is rather fond of that show, and he loves nothing more than spending an afternoon choosing a new plant, or a new shelf, or some new décor.” “Sweet, I guess I’ll go all out then!” Lena had entertained the thought. “Like, paint the walls some sick dark purple, with some crimson splatters here and there.” “Oh! Oh! And a black floor to make drawing summoning circles easier!” Webby had added. “Mmh, perhaps even an altar of sorts.” Violet had continued. “Surrounded by enough shelves to store old ritual scrolls, and mystical books of all kinds.”

And thus, the night had ended, with the three girls grabbing sheets of paper, colored pencils and glitter pens to draw their ideal room and jot down ideas.

 ------------

Now that Lena stands in Violet’s room, that conversation feels so distant. There’s a world between being told that you’re going to be fostered by a family, and actually setting a mattress on the ground, with soft pillows and freshly washed bedsheets. Lena’s been promised a lot by Magica, and almost all of those promises have been nothing but empty words used to ensure her absolute obedience. Which is why it’s eerie to have someone be true to their words, for once.

“Are you alright?”

It’s when Violet speaks to her with the tiniest hint of worry in her voice that Lena realizes she’s been staring at her pajamas for a few minutes. They’re nothing fancy, just sweatpants and a tee-shirt Largo’s leant her, since she’s too big to fit in Violet’s clothes, but they faintly smell of cinnamon, and the scent is reassuring for some reason. Like she’s holding on to something that isn’t hers, something that belongs to someone else who’s been happy to give it to her.

“I’m fine.” Lena finally answers, realizing that she is telling the truth. She’s a bit lost, but she is fine. “I’m just gonna get changed.” “Sure.” Violet nods gently and offers her a kind smile. The small bird is sitting on her bed, wearing her own turquoise pajamas, her wild hair down to her lower back. “I’ve set a toothbrush for you in the pink glass near the sink. You can use whichever toothpaste you like; mine is strawberry flavored, and my fathers’ is mint.” “Thanks, Vi.” Lena nods, and gets out of the room.

The whole process of reaching the bathroom, putting her pajamas on, brushing her teeth and coming back to Violet’s room is almost surreal. Lena still has trouble believing all of it is real; it feels like a dream, and it almost hurts with how simple and good the mundaneness of it all feels. There are tears pricking at the corner of her eyes when she slips under the warm blanket Violet’s given her; she blinks them away, hoping her new friend hasn’t seen them.

If she has seen them, Violet doesn’t say a word about it. She does ask something, though:

“Would you like to sleep with one of my stuffed animals?” the purple bird offers, gesturing towards the end of her bed, where a few plushies are neatly lined up. There’s a shark, a teddy bear, a duck and a rabbit; they all look equally soft, taken care of and warm, comforting to the touch. Lena is tempted to accept, but she feels it would be too childish.

“Nah, it’s okay, but thanks.” “As you wish. Good night, Lena.” “’night, Vi.”

Violet claps her hands, and the ceiling light turns off. Lena whistles, amused by the fancy system. But the sudden darkness cuts her amusement short, and she feels her throat get tight and painful. Her breathing quickens, and Lena shuts her eyes quickly, trying to ignore the obscurity surrounding her.

It doesn’t work.

Even though her eyes are closed, Lena can still feel the darkness around her, she can feel its heavy weight on her body, pushing the blanket on her, pushing and pushing until her chest is tight and breathing is almost impossible. Her thoughts are racing, panic and fear and determination a toxic cocktail drowning her brain; sweat rolls down her forehead, cold beads dripping on her beak; her mouth is drier than a desert; and suddenly there’s a hand on her shoulder-

Lena screams, something feral and heartbreaking, and her upper body stands straight, leaving the sheets beneath her damp with cold sweat. The ringing in her ears barely calms down enough for Violet’s voice to reach her:

“I’m sorry, Lena, I didn’t mean to startle you...”

There’s a hint of panic and regret in her friend’s tone, but Lena’s brain is too saturated by terror to pick up on it. The door opens, and the sudden light filling the room abruptly brings Lena back to reality. Violet’s parents are standing in front of her, slowly making her way near her mattress. She tries to pace her breathing, hating the tears she can feel rolling down her cheeks, when a gentle, warm hand finds her trembling shoulder:

“Are you okay, kid?” “It’s my fault, Dad.” Violet apologizes, taking Lena’s hand in hers and not letting go, her grip gentle but firm. “I heard her breathing quite loudly, so I got worried, and I wanted to check on her, but… I…”

Largo embraces them both, making sure to leave some room for Lena to reject his hug if she’s overwhelmed by his presence. She doesn’t; Lena’s never been much of a hugger (Webby is an exception), but in that instant, the embrace feels like a lifeline, and she throws herself into it, openly sobbing now. Violet makes sure to wrap an arm around Lena as well, her small hand rubbing soothing circles in her back. Colin slips outside of the room, leaving his husband handle the situation.

Time stands still, in the best way possible. Warmth slowly fills Lena’s freezing body. Her sweat dries, and so do her tears. Her breathing steadies, her heart stops pounding. The fog heaving over her mind lifts, leaving her thoughts clear.

Lena takes a deep breath and scoots back, away from Largo and Violet. Her friend slides next to her, keeping a respectful distance but making sure to let Lena know she’s here- she’ll always be here.

“Do you feel better, Lena?” Largo asks as his partner steps inside the room, two steaming mugs in his hands and a small box tucked between his arm and his hip. “Yeah, I just… I dunno.” she shrugs, stifling a yawn. The panic attack has drained her, and she doesn’t even have an explanation to what just happened. “I have no idea what just… ugh.” Lena sighs, angry at herself for losing control like that. “It might have been because of the dark.” Violet suggests as Colin hands her and Lena a mug of hot cocoa. “Perhaps it triggered some strong, deep fear inside of your psyche. I’m sorry, I should have thought about it.” “Hey, don’t beat yourself up, Vi.” Lena objects, hating to see her friend’s remorseful expression as the small bird’s grip on her mug tightens. “It’s not like you could have guessed I would lose it just because you turned the lights off!” “But-” “Lena’s right, little bird.” Colin softly cuts his daughter, petting her unruly hair. “Your father and I tend to forget that because you’re a genius, but you’re only eleven.” “Yeah, Vi. You’ve done so much for me already, so don’t feel guilty about it, okay? It’s nothing. I’ve survived worse stuff, trust me.” “Okay…”

Violet drinks some of her cocoa, not entirely convinced. Lena does as well, the rich, creamy beverage feeling like ambrosia as it slides down her parched throat. It’s almost like liquid comfort, especially with the small marshmallows floating in the foaming cocoa.

“I also brought this.” Colin adds, a triumphant smirk on his beak as he holds a small box up. “Violet’s old nightlight. No more darkness that way.” “Thanks.” Lena smiles, her beak sporting a chocolaty mustache. “No problem, kid.”

A comfortable silence falls on the room, Colin setting the small lamp up while the girls finish their cocoa under Largo’s tender gaze. The two older birds then bid the girls good night, closing the door behind them. Lena fills the beginnings of a panicked storm filling her lungs, but relief washes over her when she notices the nightlight shines faintly near the door, providing just enough light so the room isn’t filled by the cold, aggressive obscurity.

Lena is about to bid Violet good night, when she notices the girl is slightly hunched over in her bed. Frowning, she gets up and slips under Violet’s covers, startling her friend.

“It’s just me! Do you mind if I spend the night here? The mattress’ comfortable, but…”

Lena doesn’t finish her sentence, and she doesn’t need to. Violet removes the stuffed lion lying between them, tucking it under her other arm, and scoots towards the wall so Lena can be comfortable as well.

“Hey, Vi, why are you looking so sad?”

The light provided by the small lamp is faint, but just enough to allow Lena to see the way Violet’s beak is twisted in a small frown, her brows slightly frowned and her eyes looking down.

“It’s not because of my little episode earlier, is it? Come on! That was nothing important, no need to-” “I disagree.” Violet’s soft voice cuts her. Lena’s surprised, but she lets her friend talk. “It is important. You must have been through so much, between how Magica behaved towards you and being trapped in the shadow realm… you shouldn’t have to endure any of those hardships anymore.” “Yeah, I could have done without all that and what happened just before, but…”

Lena hesitates, careful in her choice of words. The raw vulnerability Violet is displaying in front of her is preventing her from being her usual almost blunt self.

“Things happened, and there’s nothing we can do about them.” Lena finally sighs, her arms wrapping around Violet in what she hopes is a reassuring, comforting hug. “And things will keep on happening, because I can’t just forget the stuff Magica’s done to me – believe me, I wish I could. But Vi… what you’re doing, all of this, helping Webby summon me even though I could have been dangerous, helping me save her and not being mad at me for putting her in danger, accepting to be my friend after all the nasty stuff I said about you, taking me in with your family… all of that is gonna help me move on from my past. You have no idea what all of this means to me. Vi, no one forced you to do all of that, and you still did it, and then some more!”

It’s taken Lena all her leftover strength, and all her breath. She hates opening up about her feelings, about how hurt she’s been, about how hurt she still is sometimes. But Lena knows it’s what Violet needs to her, and with everything the girl has done for her, it’s the least she can do. Her pride taking a small hit is nothing compared to the sheer kindness Violet has offered her before she was even back from the shadow realm, and Lena hopes she managed to convey just how grateful she is for Violet to have helped her get a second chance at life, at friendship, at happiness.

Violet’s eyes meet hers, the two purple pools shining with tears as the small bird hugs Lena closer.

“Hey, I’m still short on air, don��t squeeze it all out of me!” Lena teases, the banter helping her go back to her usual self, to put the intense fright behind her and bask in the present, in the way she’s spending her night in her new home, with her new best friend. “I don’t think I’m strong enough to do that.” Violet smiles. “Hmm, yeah, I think we should work on that.” Lena nods. “Too much time at the library, not enough punching stuff. Webby’s good at finding stuff that needs to be punched, so I’m sure you’ll get some exercise real soon…”

Lena takes a deep breath before adding:

“…lil’ sis.”

It’s nothing; two words, spoken hurriedly, almost silent in the middle of the night, and Lena is as surprised as she’s delighted with how good and natural the words feel on her tongue. Violet gasps when she picks up on them, making Lena blush.

“I look forwards to this, sister.”

No fanfare, no “aww this is so sweet Lena I’m touched!”, no tears. Simply a small smile and a reply that comes as naturally as Lena’s nickname, and it’s so perfectly Violet that it immensely satisfies Lena.

They fall asleep shortly after, exhausted by their day, happy to be in each other’s arms, happy to have found each other. --------------------------------------------------------------- I'm really happy to have finally written something about Lena and Violet! I'm a bit disappointed we didn't see Lena moving in with the Sabrewings, but I hope we can see them in S3 :) I wanted to write something different for Lena. She's brave and fierce, and I felt like it could be interesting to show a more vulnerable side of herself - same goes for Violet. I hope neither were OOC. I also like that it was an opportunity to reuse Largo and Colin, my headcanon dads for Violet from chapter 1! :)

Panic attacks are the worst.

Basketcase- Part 1

(Idk if basketcase is offense to use... but this is a story I’m working on that’s HEAVILY inspired by real life stuff. It’s kinda dark and sad, but also super hopeful) 

So I’m laying next to her, my hands itch to touch her, to stroke the soft skin and silky hair the colour of sun-kissed wheat. Her eyes and closed, and her breathing is deep and relaxed. My hands clench into fists to keep from touching her, but it is a fight within myself. I stare at her sleeping form and my breath is taken from my lungs. How the hell can one person be this beautiful? It’s so unfair I could cry. I am, of course, acutely aware of the fact that my affections are not and will never be returned. But that does not keep my mind from wandering to thoughts, soft and gentle thoughts that quiet the usual turmoil inside me. //”Hi honey, I’m home from work.” She looks exhausted and I limp over to her to place a kiss on her cheek. “How was it?” I ask, brushing her long golden hair from her face and staring lovingly into those pools of deep grey-blue, “Did anything interesting happen?” She smiles at me and kisses me on the lips, “No, not a thing. But work was good.” She holds my hands in hers and all is right with the world. “I love you.” // I am snapped back to reality as she shifts in her sleep and makes a soft sound, her body touches mine and I feel a jolt of electricity course through my veins, my heart races and I feel a flutter in my stomach. Is this what love feels like? I am inclined to say yes, I have never felt like this before. From the moment I saw her my life was never the same, being with her brings colour into my drab, grey world. Gives me a type of warmth I’ve never felt before. If I focus on her, I feel whole… When she wakes up I have to pretend I didn’t spend the whole night watching her, I don’t want her to think I’m a creep or anything. I curl into myself next to her and say, “Good morning.” She replies, “Good morning.” She’s so beautiful when she speaks, it takes my breath away and I could cry I’m so happy to just hear her voice. So then I ask her, “How did you sleep?” And she looks at me, I wonder what she’s thinking, “Good.” She says after a beat. I want to kiss her lips. “Should I go head and turn off the alarm?” I ask, grabbing my phone and logging in. God my password is embarrassing, what am I five? I check my Facebook messages while I wait for her to answer. If I look at her too long my brain turns into soup, and my palms get sweaty, so I focus on the tiny screen and turn off the alarm. I look up and she’s staring at the ceiling, I watch her for a moment, tracing the lines of her face, memorizing every tiny detail I can in the dim light of the early morning. “Sooo,” I say, unsure how to talk suddenly. She smiles at me, and I feel like my heart is being strangled. “So.” She responds. “What do you want for breakfast?” We’re at my house after all, we’re usually at her house, so this is awkward. “I don’t have time for breakfast.” She answers, “I have to drive back to my house, and then drive to work.” “Oh.” I reply, I’m sure the disappointment is evident on my face and in my voice. I tentatively reach out and touch her hair, brushing it from her face. She doesn’t stop me, just leans into my touch. We’re close, incredibly close. We’ve fooled around a few times, nothing major, nothing that would change our relationship, much to my dismay. I want to be more than just best friends. I want to be girlfriends, I want to wake up to her every day. Well I wouldn’t wake up to her, since I don’t really sleep. I’d just spend every night staring at her, but that’s the way I wanna spend my nights. Forever. She could teach me to cook and force me to try more food. I could learn to cook her favorite meals and have them waiting for her when she got home. Or we could cook together every night, side by side. Smiling and giggling. I chase away the thoughts before I can break my own heart. “Can we just lay here for a minute then?” I ask her, it isn’t weird when there’s a long pause between us. She gets that it takes me a long time to reply, there’s so many gears that shift and pause and break in my head. And I don’t mind when she takes a while to answer either, because I love almost everything about her. “Yea sure.” She smiles at me. There’s an error message in my brain, and I think I’m going to blue screen. How does she always know what to say or do that will make me fall in love all the more. We chat about random things for a while, but my thoughts keep drifting back to the previous night. Oh yea, I forget to mention, our other friend was over at my apartment too. Her name is Amber and she’s like, really frigging awesome and a total badass. She’s taking like a million college classes, taking care of her grandmother and is basically the glue that holds her family together. I wanna be her when I grow up to be honest. She’s actually a week younger than me, but she’s my role model. Oh, I also never mentioned my best friend’s name. God, I’m dumb, her name is Taylor. I’m the worst narrator in the world just so you know Anyways, what I’m thinking about is when we played truth or dare and the dare where Taylor had to lick something edible off my neck. It was like, so hot and like, talk about arousal. Taylor is basically everything I’ve ever been attracted to in a person. Fun, motherly, sassy, playful, erotic (She has an OnlyFans). I just can’t see a world in which I wouldn’t have fallen madly in love with her. After a while she gets up, and I know it’s almost time for her to go. And I’m reeling, struggling to find an excuse for her to stay longer. If I feign an injury will she stay? If I say I’m sick will she baby me and kiss my forehead, tuck me in, making me soup. Scratch that, I fucking hate soup. She hugs me before she leaves and gives me a kiss on the forehead. I’m too short to kiss her back. I’m like shorter than most people. Amber and I are almost the same height though, which is nice. It means we actually walk near the same pace. Ok, that’s a lie, she walks faster than me, every walks faster than me. I have a limp, I don’t know why, but my hip always aches and I refuse to go to the doctor about it. Actually if I’m honest most of my body hurts constantly unless I’m asleep. Also my mind is constantly screaming at me, I have very dark thoughts sometimes. Thoughts that I should kill myself and stuff, thoughts that everyone hates me. When I was younger these thoughts would get to be so much that I would hurt myself in ways that caused people to look at me like I was crazy. And like, yeah, I probably am crazy, but… Ok I have nothing to add. I am crazy, most days I cry for hours and have to fight off the urge to just you know, end it all. Oof, that sounds depressing, but don’t worry about me, things will turn out the way they’re meant to. So if I die, then I die I suppose. She’s gone now and I don’t know what to do with myself. Taylor is my sun and I am the sunflower that follows her light. Is that super gay to say? Probably. But I am like, super gay. Like really gay. I like guys, but I LOVE girls. There’s just something about girls that draws me in. I’m a fly drawn to their sweet nectar. I stare up at the ceiling. I think back to the first time we kissed. It was at her house. We were cuddled up together, we we’re touching each other and stuff and then I just kissed her, and it was like kissing for the first time. It was like I had been drowning my entire life and I was suddenly given air for the first time. Ok, if you’re getting sick of hearing me blabber on and on about my best friend, fret not because the whole story wont be about my big unrequited crush. (But she will definitely be a huge main feature) So I’ve been watching Euphoria and I mean, the show is fantastic. Who the hell told Hunter Schafer she could be that fucking fantastic, how is this her first time acting? I’m jealous, I wanted to be an actor when I was a kid. I was good too. But my grandmother wouldn’t allow me to pursue my dreams, I would tell her about all these acting opportunities and she would just shoot me down. Acting was the one thing I was the most passionate about. I would read script after script and act out the characters, and I could have been someone. But then everything fell apart. And I crumbled into a shadow of my former self. I gave up on everything, I stopped living. I simply survived, but I was still a good actor, so at school no one ever suspected anything was wrong. No one would have thought that I was slicing my arms and legs to ribbons, that I was starving myself, that I was slamming my head against the walls at home. That my grandma was verbally abusing me daily… that I was being put down at every turn and growing increasingly desperate to find a reason to live for. At least no one suspected, until I couldn’t pretend anymore... Ok wow, that got dark, but you are the one who picked up a story literally titled Basketcase. What did you expect? Sunshine and roses? I wish that’s what my life had been. Ok, buckle up, this story gets dark, but there’s levity in the darkness.

Okay so regarding the thing I reblogged from @saturnmoon last Sunday >:)))))

I thought it’d fit better as a scenario instead of hcs, so apologies if this isn’t what you wanted exactly-

Thank you, daddy// Tsukishima x reader

Word count: 1700+

Warnings: None, tiny bit suggestive at the end, but I’m gonna let your imagination do the job.

Summary: Questionable names should stay in the bedroom.

Your face burns scarlet as you walk through the empty streets, white box in hand and a very, very flustered Tsukishima next to you.

“I’m sorry, okay? I was joking!”

No reply. All you get is a side glance behind his steel black glasses.

How did you get into this situation, you may ask?

Well.

It all started when Tsukishima decided to get the two of you matching headphones.

You see, Tsukishima’s pretty subtle when it comes to affection. He doesn’t want people viewing him as soft, or as Nishinoya says, a simp. He shows the absolute bare minimum amount of affection, pda never happens, and he doesn’t like to talk about his private life with classmates. Some may argue that he dates you out of boredom or pity, and doesn’t give a flying shit about how you feel about him. Others might not even know of your relationship. However, regardless of what everyone else says, the two of you care for each other deeply. You were like a bunch of helium balloons in his hand, flying as high as you can, seeking out opportunities, dreaming of possibilities, bringing up his spirits whenever he was down. In return, Tsukishima was the one holding you down, bringing you back to Earth whenever you were too carried away. Contrasting personalities mixed to form an amazing relationship. It was quite literally the definition of opposites attract. 

However, the two fo you are very different when it comes to your views on normal things couples do. You don’t like being cheesy. At all. Just the thought of someone making a grand confession, or asking you out in an extravagant and crazy way in front of people was enough to make you want to shove a finger down your throat and retch. On the other hand, although Tsukshima doesn’t show much affection towards you around his friends, he’s secretly a big fat romantic dork. The only reason why he didn’t confess to you in front of the entire school was probably because he wasn’t about to sacrifice his dignity and ruin his image. He’d always see couples in the hallways sporting matching accessories. Whether it be promise rings, or keychains, or even glasses, and secretly think it’s adorable. Knowing how you dislike cheesy and cliche moves however, he holds back and keeps those thoughts in his deepest fantasies, never to be seen by anyone else but himself.

Anyways, back to your tricky situation. When I said he shows the absolute bare minimum amount of affection, that means that he only rarely holds your hand in places with people that know the two of you, almost never kisses you in public, and at last, but not least, rarely gives you gifts. He always thought his affection for you was enough, and it wasn’t like you’ve ever gotten him any presents either. He simply didn’t care about materialistic gifts. You don’t really mind that he doesn’t get you gifts either. As long as he treats you for food, you’re all good. Once in a while, you’d try to treat Tsukishima, but he would never let you pay for him. He would always reach the cashier first and pay for whatever he was getting. He didn’t want you to pay for his stuff, not when you didn’t want him to pay for yours either. That would be unfair. It was a weird relationship, to be frank. Not having mementos of your partner wasn’t a usual thing. 

It wasn’t until his headphones broke, did he finally succumb to the idea of matching with you. He’s been using his headphones for years without any problems. He wore them to school every day, used them while doing homework, and has slept with them on at some point. It was no surprise the speakers would eventually give out. When they broke, Tsukishima was beyond miserable. These were his headphones. His most prized possession. He treasured them so much, it was almost heartbreaking to have to replace them. Not even you understood how much they meant to him. You were beyond confused when he called you at night, crying. You thought he got hurt or something, when in reality, it was just his headphones breaking. If someone asked, you could still repeat the entire phone conversation word for word. You thought it was both hilarious and a bit heart wrenching, to say the least. You promised to bring him headphone shopping today, even insisting on paying for them, which he immediately refused to let you. Instead, once he got to the store, he basically zoomed to the headphone section, looking through it excitedly. When his eyes landed on a pair of black and white headphones, he swiftly grabbed two of them, shoving one of them into your hands.

What?

“Hm? You’re getting two? That’s really expensive, plus a pair will suffice for like another five years!”

“No, dumbass, this is for you, I’m just making you hold onto it while I grab my wallet.

You looked down at the box in your hands, then back up at your boyfriend, eyes wide in disbelief. He was getting you a gift? For the first time in the few months you’ve been dating for? And you haven’t given him anything at all? Ever? There was no way. You knew your boyfriend like the palm of your hand. He would never just buy you a gift, let alone such an expensive one. To say you were shocked would be an extreme understatement. His face was dusted a light shade of pink that was almost unnoticeable in the dark store, where the only light sources were the LED lights that were set to white.

“Kei, you’re for real right now? I don’t want you to waste your money for me-”

“I want to match with you. I love you and I don’t like that it seems like I don’t put in effort at all.”

Tsukishima was now a blushing, flustered mess. He wasn’t even able to look you in the eyes. His heart was racing, anticipating your reaction. Did you hate the idea? Were you freaked out? Grossed out, even? What if you hated the thought and decided to break it off with him? What if he just screwed up big time and embarrassed himself? What if-

“OH MY GOD! KEI SWEETIE THAT’S SO CUTE! THANK YOU SO MUCH I LOVE YOU! I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU’RE ACTUALLY INTO MATCHING!”

You went silent for a moment, before continuing.

“But... I feel bad. I’ve never gotten you anything, and here you are, gifting me a pair of expensive ass headphones.”

Tsukishima’s blush faded, a tiny smile gracing his face.

“The only thing you have to do is wear them with me. Promise me that.”

Sending him a cheeky smile, you linked your pinkie with his playfully.

“Promise.”

Pinkies still linked, the two of you headed towards the cashier, where a line of people were waiting to check out. You continued to show your gratitude towards your boyfriend, hugging his arm and cuddling it like a teddy bear. His heart melted at the sight of you being an absolute cutie. This is the most pda he’s received in public. Maybe it wasn’t as bad as he thought it was. He could try it out sometime. Poking your nose jokingly, he smiled, mocking you playfully.

“I’m getting you a pair of headphones shorty, can I get another thank you? It was cute when you said it just now.”

Smirking at his subtle joke regarding your height, you retorted, puckering up your lips.

“Thank you dadddddyy~”

The store went silent.

Tsukishima’s mouth hung wide open, his eyes frantically looking around as his face went bright red. Customers stopped what they were doing, some of them in the middle of paying for their products. From the corner of your eyes, you could see a child’s ears and eyes being covered by his mom, who was glaring daggers towards the two of you. A couple of old men sent judgemental looks your way, silently discussing how teenagers this day are corrupted and unreliable. The cashiers were clearly shocked, staring at the two of you, brows either furrowed, or raised. The store was so quiet you could probably hear a pin drop. You let go of Tsukishima’s arm instantly, letting your arms fall, the headphones still in hand. Recovering from the incident, customers continued to chatter amongst themselves,  cashiers continued to check items out, however you and Tsukishima stayed dead silent. The tension in the store could have been cut with a knife. Customers were avoiding your gazes, shuffling along towards the exit as soon as their products were in the bag.

“I definitely said that too loudly didn’t I.”

Tsukishima didn’t say a word, his face still crimson as he tightly shut his mouth, pursing his lips.

Approaching the cashier, he grabbed both boxes, not saying a word as he handed them to the cashier along with the money. Once that was done, he shoved one of the boxes into your arms, grabbing your vacant hand and dragging you out of the store, legs moving as quick as they could.

So now, you’re stuck in an awkward ass situation, with a flustered, silent Tsukishima. He hasn’t said a word since the two of you left the store, and that’s making you feel all sorts of ways.

His house is mere miles away. You can see the lights in the living room illuminating the area around it. Speeding up, you struggle to catch up with him, your shorter legs starting to sprint desperately.

Pulling you into the house, he slams the door behind him, locking it.

You don’t even have the chance to catch your breath, when a hand tickles your neck, before gripping on it tightly and pushing you harshly, your back forcefully hitting the wall behind you as the impact makes you hiss in pain. The headphones in your hand drop to the ground, toppling over. You open your eyes, only to be met with Tsukishima’s shit eating smirk.

“K-Kei?”

Forcing you into a harsh kiss, he assaults your lips, biting and sucking occasionally. You grasp at his hand, panting and gasping for air, but gave up as you came to the realisation that you enjoyed this. You enjoyed being choked by him.

The blond chuckled at your struggling figure, eyes going dark.

“If you really wanted to call me daddy, you could’ve told me long ago sweetheart.”

You were in for a long, long night, and honestly? You weren’t complaining.

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I hate myself lmao this is TERRIBLE HELP-

Okay imma sleep now gn kiddos

Fenn

*cracks knuckles* Buckle up fam because I have enough ideas for afab Fenn to make a fanfic. (I might make a fanfic.)

Warning for a handful of potentially unpleasant topics below the cut (mention of a period, and a mention of being the ‘last female saiyan’ and being thought of as breeding stock (though that doesn’t actually happen).)

SO. Just gonna reiterate some of Fenn’s backstory for context. (Also calling Fenn ‘Broly’ from here on out because that would be her name during this point of time.) Broly was raised by Paragus to hate Vegeta and Kakarot because Paragus is a bitter man with a powerful child who needed an outlet for her berserker rage. The whole thing about Kakarot crying as a baby is taken out because who decided that was a good motive.

For the first several years, it kind of worked, because Broly only had her father so she listened to what he said, but as she hit puberty things got… odd…

Broly asks her father why she doesn’t look like him. Why is her chest weird and why is she skinnier and why is she shaped different? Paragus just tells her it’s because she’s a woman, but he doesn’t tell her anything else.

Broly is slender and lanky (Trunks even canonically called Broly a ‘toothpick’ since Broly is very thin for someone so tall, compared to, say, Nappa, who might be shorter than Broly but is built like a wall), but still really tall, at least 7 feet tall. All the same, she still doesn’t look like she has enough power to destroy a galaxy. (Kind of like Kale.)

Broly has never seen another woman before (some of you’ll remember Fenn’s adventures in Finding Out What a Woman Is from the very beginning of my blog), partly due to some of my South Galaxy headcanons (ie. most planets there have unisex/unigender races, like Namekians and Frieza’s race), so when Paragus keeps giving her ‘woman’ as an answer, she has no idea what he means.

Her first period is a nightmare. Suddenly there’s blood and pain and Broly knows blood and pain but that’s only when she blacks out and people die. She asks her father what’s happening to her, but his answer is, once again, ‘it’s a woman thing, I wouldn’t know’. Broly starts equating ‘woman’ and ‘monster’ in her head, and figures this is her body’s way of punishing her for all the lives she’s taken.

Paragus’ constant non-answers start to frustrate Broly, and she in turn starts tuning him out. She becomes spacey and passive, because in her mind she doesn’t have to be a monster, or a woman, or anything. She doesn’t have to hate Vegeta and Kakarot because her father said so. Paragus isn’t amused, and the rift between them grows.

There’s definitely a universe where spacey female Broly kills her father before the events of the first Broly movie, and decides to track down Frieza (you know, the guy who killed her race who she should probably hate more than those two guys who had nothing to do with her attempted murder), and learns that Frieza was killed by a saiyan on Earth. Cue Broly going to Earth and doing Earth adventures with the last remaining saiyans.

In the universe where she doesn’t kill her father first, Paragus puts the mind control crown on her far earlier. Broly is way too spacey and unfocused and he needs his weapon to be obedient. He has to constantly wipe her mind to keep her in a sedated state. She’s too unfocused to even use this state as her way of escaping.

Cue the events of the first movie and Paragus gets the ball rolling by sending his child to erase a galaxy. Broly barely knows what she’s doing, and even after she’s done it, she doesn’t remember doing it. It’s just like all those other times she’s snapped back into reality with blood on her hands.

The others arrive on New Vegeta and lo and behold, they’re all men (or at least, they all appear to be men). Broly is once again struck by how different she seems to be. Is it really that obvious that she’s a monster? A lot of them are looking at her in a weird way, so she’s pretty sure that they can tell.

She’s not too impressed by Vegeta. She doesn’t like him, but she doesn’t hate him like Paragus says she should. He’s just unpleasant and that’s about it.

She hears him and Paragus discussing that she’s ‘the last saiyan female’. She tunes out the conversation immediately because she doesn’t want to hear any more.

Come nightfall and Vegeta is going to bed, and there’s Goku, appearing out of nowhere to say hi. Broly is confused. This is Kakarot? This is the ‘weakling child who got to own a planet while you were sent to death and you should hate him for it’? He looks nice?? He smiles at her and greets her??? He’s pleasant???? Broly begins questioning everything her father told her.

Paragus tells her to go to the room of either the King or the Prince and fulfill her ‘womanly duties’. Broly asks him what that even means. Paragus tells her to go to the room, and disrobe. The rest will happen as it should.

Given that Broly still thinks woman = monster, she’s pretty sure it means death.

In the universe where she goes to Vegeta’s room, I’m pretty sure he’d turn her away. She’s too passive to be his type, and he’s not in the mood when the Legendary Super Saiyan is out there somewhere. Broly goes back to her room very confused.

In the universe where she goes to Trunks’ room, Trunks stops her because whoa whoa whoa, what are you doing? When Broly responds ‘womanly duties’, Trunks asks her if she even knows what that means. She does not. Cue Trunks sitting her down and having a very long talk with her about what a woman is and a brief sex-ed lesson.

BONUS POINTS if this is my Trunks and she’s a trans woman and she gets to teach Broly about biology vs. gender identity and Broly doesn’t entirely get it but she starts to realise that ‘woman’ doesn’t actually mean ‘monster’. Also, she has a friend now? She’s never had a friend before?? She likes these people she doesn’t want them to die.

No points guessing which option I prefer.

When Vegeta decides he’s had enough and tries to go home, Paragus has to force Broly into her Legendary state, because she really doesn’t want to do this plan anymore. Once in that state, all she can do is laugh and destroy and chant ‘MONSTER, MONSTER, MONSTER’ over and over again. She overpowers all her opponents, kills her father, etc. and it looks like the only way to stop her is to kill her. But now, Goku and Trunks don’t want Broly to die. 

The punch still happens because there’s just no stopping her. Goku brings her into the ship, bleeding out, along with everyone else before the planet is destroyed.

This is where it gets indulgent but look Gohan makes a good point about not giving Broly a Senzu Bean; she might still be in Legendary Mode in her mind, so healing naturally over a long term is a better idea if they don’t want Earth to be destroyed. Goku instant transmissions Broly down to Earth, leaving her with ChiChi for initial first aid while he brings everyone else back down to Earth. Then it’s Bulma’s turn to patch Broly up. Cue Bulma also befriending Broly and this is the first woman (possibly aside from Trunks) that Broly’s ever met and she’s definitely not a monster.

Bulma and ChiChi teaching Broly their understanding of what it means to be a woman and Broly having an ‘AHA’ moment please and thank you.

Broly’s still not at 100% by the time the Cell Games happen, but she almost loses it when Goku dies (no please that was her friend why is her friend dead she doesn’t have a lot of those) and again when Trunks dies (not again not again stop killing her friends LEAVE THEM ALONE) but despite wanting to tear Cell apart, it’s still Gohan’s fight and Gohan’s win and Broly is glad that her other friend Gohan didn’t die. Trunks comes back and Broly is happy. Goku doesn’t come back and Broly is sad. Trunks goes back to the future and Broly is sad again.

Broly helps raise baby Trunks and Goten because I said so.

Broly ends up identifying as agender because the more she hears about womanhood from other women, it sounds more like an experience in self-identity that she’s never experienced and never will. She’s not a woman. She’s not a monster either. She’s not even Broly anymore. She’s Fenn now, and she has friends who will help her control what she and her father could never control on their own.