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kiwanopie · 2 years

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Top 10 anime men who will lay pipe expeditiously. Haikyuu Edition. *Reupload*

cw: piv, dirty talk, general adult themes. minors do not interact

Akaashi |Run Time: Within the first month| Not exactly a prude, just believes that being more intuned with your partner is necessary to satisfying sex. Plus he likes the build up between general interest and sexual tension. If we’re being honest, he’s probably been thinking of putting his hands all over you since the second date. But he’s courteous enough to let you know that he actually wants to get to know you first. Likes to call you after work during the talking stage just to ask you about your day. Invites you over on his off days to make sure you’re comfortable around him. But again, he’s been holding himself back for a while. And he’s not too coy for a little phone sex in the meantime. - But, boy does he completely lose it when you crawl into his lap during one of your hangout sessions. Your friends still don’t believe you when you introduce them to the guy that “fucked you within an inch of your life” before you officially started dating.

Iwaizumi |Run Time: Within the first few weeks| He likes to believe that the reason he doesn’t rush it is because he’s “old fashioned” and that he’s mature enough to understand that “it takes time for these kinds of things.” Whole time he’s just busy. Trust me, deep down he knows if he had it his way he’d have you folded over three ways to Sunday after the third date. But he has the physical health of like twelve overgrown toddlers to manage and the team moves around pretty often. So, it’s just quick coffee dates and video calls for a while. But trust me, the moment he has time on his hands you’re done for. I suggest clearing your schedule before you meet up! You’re gonna need some time to recover.

Oikawa |Run Time: Within two weeks| First week down though and you can see it physically hurts him that he’s not fucking you as soon as he wants to. Only reason he’s holding out though is because he actually likes you, so he doesn’t want you to think that’s the only thing he’s seeking out. - But you know that meme of that guy who looks like he’s this 🤏 close to having a stroke with all those veins on his face? Yeah. Soon as he knows you’re on the same page though he’s slutting himself out to you like his life depends on it. And he talks the nastiest shit. Will tell you everything he’s been wanting to do to you and then show you in frankly exemplary detail.

Hinata |Run Time: Within a week| To his credit, he’s the most unafraid to let you know how smitten he is with you from the jump. Gave you your phone back after putting his number in with his info under “Shoyo 💕❤️” and told you to call him if you’re looking for someone to treat you right. Literally told you the night you actually hooked up that you were only doing missionary to start off, and when you asked why he replied that you were “Too pretty to fuck in anything but,” With all the sweet talk he uses in the week leading up, you’re not wrong for being completely out of your depth when he fucks you like he hates your guts. But don’t worry, the love’s still there! You’re even prettier when he’s fucked the brains outta you <3

Kuroo |Run Time: Within the first couple of dates| Class traitor often forgets the line between courting a significant other and a sugar baby. Thought the best way to charm your pants off was to buy out the restaurant you’d have your first date at and surprise you with a birkin bag. Isn’t ashamed to let you know he gets off on watching you spend his money and when he’s booking a pent-suite for your third date it takes a very necessary pause during dinner to establish that 1.) Yes, he wants to be your boyfriend. No, he didn’t know that this wasn't the right way to do it. And 2.) He’s only been spending this much money because it’s the only thing stopping him from cumming in his pants the moment he gets within a foot of you. Weird guy. Rearranges your guts like no one’s business.

Bokuto |Run Time: The date after the first| He tries…so hard to hold out, he really does! It’s just god you’re so fucking sexy. Everything you do has his brain short circuiting and he’s starting to want you so bad that it’s making him itch. Your thighs are so squishy and your lips look so plump. Everything about you looks soft to the touch and since meeting you he hasn’t been able to blow a decent load without imagining it’s you squeezing him so tight. Really, the only reason he made it this far is ‘cause first date jitters are a bitch and at the very least he has the decency to let you know he likes you first. - But then you show up in this cute little dress that keeps riding up your thighs when you walk, and the way you pout as you try to pull it down has his head feeling all fuzzy. He tries to stay cordial as he opens the door for you to slide into his car, but the way you smile up at him as he closes it behind you has his resolve breaking into pieces. Lucky for him you’re perceptive enough to notice the literal dick print in his pants the moment he climbs in; and he lights up like a Christmas tree when you suggest a quickie before dinner. Spoiler alert: It won’t be a quickie. Get your refund back on that reservation, sis.

Atsumu |Run Time: The first date| You can’t blame the guy for being shamelessly attracted to you, can you? Who cares about old fashioned courting! It ain’t worth the money if you ain’t walking funny? - All jokes aside though, he’s a firm believer in if two consenting adults like each other enough, they should be able to fuck whenever and however they want. Doesn’t find you any less respectable for letting him put your legs behind your ears on the first date. Although that was after he’d already bent you over in his car, folded you over his kitchen counter, and had you leaving drool stains on his hallway area rug. Eh, you’ll plan your next date in the shower - little hard to talk though with your face pressed against the glass.

Matsukawa |Run Time: Scheduled a time and place for you to link before hand| Hey, if you wanna turn this thing into a relationship then he’s up for that too. But he’s not gonna stress himself trying to hold back from fucking your pretty little brains out. Soon as he gets the O.K. he’s picking a time and place and hightailing it over with no stops in between. And he’s not bullshiting when he says he’s gonna fuck you stupid. The guy digs you out like he’s trying to ruin you for anybody else. But it’s not entirely his fault! He gets sick of carrying that meat missle around too 😔

Hanamaki |Run Time: Straight up just asked if you’d let him| Hedonist to the max. And no shame either. The moment he gets the feeling that you might be sexually interested in him, he’s diving in with no goggles. I mean, obviously he cares about your interests and your pursuits in life; might even think you’re nice enough to take home to mom’s one day. But that’s not what his mind’s set on right now. Only thing in his head is if he should start with collapsed doggy or drill you in from the side just to get you drooling for him that much quicker. But hey, dick was so good you forgot he don’t got a job!

Honorable Mentions!

Sakusa (Surprisingly)| Comes off as a prude because he apparently has “High standards.” Can’t admit that if he finds you attractive enough, he’ll just straight up fuck you. |

Terushima |Likes to “Do you like my tongue ring?” Himself into some pussy.|

Sugawara | Plays the part of a good loving school teacher just looking for a companionship. Gives it up as soon as he sees you’re into him.|

Osamu | “m’not a scrub like my brother.” No, baby, you’re a whore.|

And finally number one…

Suna! |Run Time: Text him at 3:00am and he’ll be there by 3:05am| Standing at 6’3.2 and 176lbs, you have caught the affection of a man who truly believes that “a hole is a hole” once he’s found himself physically attracted to someone. That’s not to say that he’s particularly loose with what he’s got but if you’ll take it? Once hiked to your place in the middle of January with basketball shorts on ‘cause you sent him a “U up?” Text in the middle of the night. Woke up the next morning with a fever but god was that pussy worth it. Fucks like he’s trying to prove something so you’re in remission for the next couple of days afterwards. And then will have the nerve to wanna be the little spoon after the fact. - Tries not to look as elated as he is when you finally tie him down but with the way he turns your insides into mush the night following, you can tell he’s pretty excited to finally call himself your boyfriend.

reblogs are appreciated 💕 ps, tumblr pls suck my balls? 🥺

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sucka4pain · 1 year

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𝐇𝐚𝐢𝐤𝐲𝐮𝐮 𝐓𝐰𝐞𝐞𝐭𝐬! (Ft. Black fem & male y/n)

Disclaimer: these tweets are from real accounts and I just put haikyuu characters and what user they would have so the original tweets are not mine!!

A/n: lowkey might make a part two who knows🏃🏻‍♀️

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splitontendo · 6 months

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pairing: hanamakki takahiro x f!reader

synopsis: having no money and the worst job leads you to dark places, answering a strangers roommate ad. leading you to meet the roommate from hell, who happens to have the solution to your problems and isn’t too bad at giving head.

04 | walking clinic

masterlist | previous | next

fun facts!

cora & makki met after just a couple months of him making content. she thought he was cute and texted him.

the two do nothing more than text & vent, cora’s just being delusional.

shirabu’s the only one you’ve told about your crush on semi :3 which youre kinda regretting cause he knows him too well 😭

+A/N — BOO! get it cause it’s october.. and i ghosted yall :/ sorry, but we gonna get through this story! 😩 i have tm makki brainrot to not finish it lmao

also does it make it easier to read if i make one of the characters have dark mode & the other light mode or u guys don’t care 😭

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fornshinoyaz · 9 months

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★ — CHAPTERS :

08. surprise visit

❝ YOU ARE MY STARLIGHT ! ★ ☆

before you came into the picture, before kageyama met you, it was yamamoto aoi. he didn't expect for things to go the way they did. not with her. but with you, from the moment he'd met you, he knew you would be the one.

it was his second year. he was stupid. kageyama was a confident setter with a freak quick attack that struck fear into rival schools. he felt untouchable.

he was untouchable.

kageyama moved with purpose through the hallways of inarizaki high school, bracing himself for the upcoming tournament. with each step, he exuded confidence. he already knew success was within his grasp. he just needed to do his own part and trust his teammates would do the same. hinata is beside him, as usual, sounding more like a dog than a human. he couldn't be paid to give a damn about whatever he was talking about.

they turned the corner, and the gym came into view with its door open. their coach was waiting inside for them to begin warmups. the sheer size of the gym felt overwhelming, suffocating even, as kageyama cast his eyes inside.

both of them said they had left the gym to refill their waters. though neither of them would admit, it was actually to de-stress as well. kageyama never got nervous when he played volleyball. to him, volleyball was something nerves never played a part in. this feeling inside him was so raw and new.

hinata can feel the slight shift in him. he glanced up at him and said, "you aren't scared right, kageyama?"

kageyama doesn’t get the chance to respond.

"of course he's scared."

the unexpected girly voice spooked them both. hinata instinctively took cover behind his friend, startled by the suddenness. meanwhile, kageyama’s expression remained indifferent. his eyes roamed across her. inarizaki’s manager? since when? he would’ve remembered her.

she exuded a sense of determination that was different from hinata’s own fire and nature. this was a confidence that bit at kageyama, a confidence that said without a doubt — her team would not fail.

"i'm not scared." kageyama scoffed.

"you should be. you're going to lose." she said with a shrug. he could hardly believe what he was hearing.

hinata and kageyama stood there in shock, taken aback by the confidence that dripped off her every word. without a trace of hesitation, she coldly pushed past them, leaving hinata shivering and kageyama interested.

he knew he shouldn’t. their coach was waiting for them. but it was like he couldn’t stop himself.

"wanna bet on that?" kageyama called out, making her stop on her heels.

himata appeared dazed, his eyes darting back and forth between his setter and the manager of the opposing team. he gnawed at his bottom lip - was this a good idea? kageyama might end up losing his hard-earned money, money he usually spent on buying hinata his beloved ramen. hinata couldn’t survive without it!

a mischievous smirk crossed her face as she thought over the request. she turned and said, “fine. if i win, you take me out to dinner after the game. but if you win, i’ll take you out to dinner instead.”

hinata gasped, realizing that this wasn’t just about scoping out the competition; it was about getting a date! he raised an eyebrow. although he had never seen kageyama actually interact with a woman before, he couldn’t help but wonder if he was an unstoppable flirt like his senior, tooru? maybe he would prove himself to be more than a volleyball junkie?

a blush crept up kageyama’s neck and settled on his cheeks. he rubbed the back of his neck, and hinata can’t miss the slight stutter that escaped his lips, “..i-i..” kageyama jabbed at hinata’s side when he obnoxiously laughs, “i don’t even know your name.”

what a loser. hinata snickered.

"yamamoto. second year. but you can call me aoi." she said with a little grin.

kageyema tried to hide blush and forced out a determined tone, "...well...i accept your bet! but just know, i won't be losing. pork curry with egg on top will be my order."

“and ramen!” hinata added in.

kageyama rolled his eyes. “ramen too.”

aoi grinned. "okay. deal. mine will be yakitori. see you on the court. #9.”

it’s safe to say, kageyama and hinata both came home with massive tummy aches.

• AOI and KAGEYAMA dated as second years, but for unknown reasons broke up during the first part of their third year.

• NONE of kageyama’s friends liked AOI. however because of aoi, kageyama became friends with OSAMU and ATSUMU. OSAMU and AOI were childhood friends, while ATSUMU could never stand her.

• aoi and kageyama were very friendly with each other and hung out frequently after their break up until he started dating YOU in his third year. in osamu’s opinion, they have a trauma bond because of aoi’s manipulative tendencies and kageyama’s inability to say no to her.

• originally, kageyama was suppose to go straight to the league after high school. however, he wanted to stay with you and go to university together.

• when aoi first texted you saying kageyama had cheated, you believed her for a couple of reasons. before, it was rumored that kageyama had cheated on his last ex. you never knew WHO his ex was. when kageyama lies about aoi’s identity, it breaks your trust in him. plus, aoi sends very convincing receipts of kageyama cheating on you with HER and another woman.

• after this happens, you leave waseda university after the semester ends and enroll at tokyo university.

• AOI often posts random things on her twitter, to the point where most of her friends ignore her or like osamu, tell her to put her phone down. she has bad attachment and jealousy issues that fractured and still hurts her relationship with kageyama.

• OSAMU tries his hardest to continue being friends with AOI, but finds it hard after what happened with you and kageyama. he doesn’t blame you for believing AOI so easily. but it creates a riff between you two, as you believe he placed his friendship with kageyama above yours.

• aoi goes to university in the area where kageyama and hinata grew up. she sometimes comes to tokyo, mainly to visit osamu and kageyama. she talks about coming and kageyama’s first mistake was NOT BELIEVING HER.

> ♡ ̷ m. list / next. / previous.

synopsis refresher : he was your sun, the center of your universe. you thought you were the sun of his world too. but tobio kageyama was always too selfish for his own good. with both of you being bitter exes, sparks fly when you become the boys’ manager for your ex’s rival volleyball club. or where bitter exes turn into bitter rivals & kageyama can never seem to stay away from you even if it feels like choking on stardust. a/n: get ready for some angst i apoglozie in advance. this chapter was mainly context and so we can get into the knitty gritty of what happened fr taglist: @thechaosoflonging @joonseuph0ria @marga-j @literally-a-ferret // send an ask to be put on the tag list !

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chaoticevilorange · 2 years

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Haikyuu x reader

Playing among us with the haikyuu boys

Accidentally sells you out; Hinata, Asahi, Lev, Bokuto, Koganegawa

Convinces everyone you're the impostor by saying "y/n is too quiet isn't it?"; Matsukawa, Sugawara, Tsukishima, Kuroo, Futakuchi

Teams up with the impostors; Hanamaki, Nishinoya, Osamu, Suna, Satori

Is the impostor but doesn't know how to lie; Kyotani, Ennoshita, Kageyama, Semi, Yamamoto

Gets kicked out the ship because everyone teams up against him: Oikawa, Tanaka, Goshiki, Yaku, Atsumu

It's innocent but can't convince anyone otherwise; Iwaizumi, Aone, Ushijima, Aran, Yamaguchi

Kills everyone; Kenma, Akaashi, Kita, Sakusa

#haikyuu x reader #haikyuu x y/n #haikyuu scenarios #🐨 imagines #hq ushijima #hq atsumu #hq daichi #hq kuroo #hq osamu #hq scenarios #hq crack #hq suna #hq kenma #hq hinata #hq goshiki #tag your boy

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yoomiomiki · 2 years

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Osamu who makes a tuna onigiri cake tower for atsumu for their birthday. And atsumu who buys a tub of fresh cream just to have a fresh cream food fight and a fruit cake eating cake only and giving osamu the fruits

A/n : their birthday is on 5 Oct for those who don’t know ! And it’s almost a week early to write this but I just thought of it

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kingdaddydaichi · 1 year

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THERE ARE MORE

#kel.shitposts #haikyuu #haikyuu crack #hq #hq crack

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saglovesu · 1 year

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𝐇𝐚𝐢𝐤𝐲𝐮𝐮 𝐢𝐧𝐜𝐨𝐫𝐫𝐞𝐜𝐭 𝐪𝐮𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐬 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝟒

— 𝘽𝙪𝙯𝙯𝙛𝙚𝙚𝙙 𝙪𝙣𝙨𝙤𝙡𝙫𝙚𝙙 𝙚𝙙𝙞𝙩𝙞𝙤𝙣 ♡

previous | next

A/N: sorry for this long af hiatus😭 I‘ve been having some things to do but I‘m gonna continue this series!! Lmk if u wanna be in the taglist <3

Enjoy!

CW: swearing, ghost hunting, mentions of alcohol, mentions of violence, mentions of death

Atsumu:now it‘s said when you do that, you can see his glowing eyes

Sakusa: oh what a load of horse shit

Bokuto: if they had the foresight to write that clue, why not leave more clues?

Kuroo: they didn‘t have like a fridge that they could put a little magnet and note on

Bokuto: no, I mean-

Kuroo: did they have quills?

Bokuto: they obviously had a tree and fence posts they could carve into. Why didn‘t they carve a little map?

Kuroo: they could‘ve just added like a „c u there“

Bokuto: somethin‘ like that, help 'em out

Kuroo: „fui went to Croatoan“

Bokuto: „b back never“

Kuroo: „ttyl“

Bokuto: hahaha „c u soon“

Kuroo: „-ur fam“

Bokuto: „or not cuz we‘re dead“

Mattsun: mass abduction! Maybe they all lined up in a row and just got in the tractor beam one at a time

Oikawa: yeah

Mattsun: it‘s like when you go to the bank and they—it‘s—it‘s one of those little chutes— just people lining up to get

Oikawa: oh yeah, just go into, like,the—

Mattsun: in that pneumatic tube

Oikawa: just sucked into the tube, yeah

Mattsun: thounk, thounk, thounk

Tendou: [talking to the ghost]do you realize you could have probably killed somebody inside this bar?

Shirabu: He doesn‘t care. He was full of gin.

Tendou: I‘m talking to him

Shirabu: oh

Shirabu: [to the ghost] You didn‘t care you were full of gin, right?

Tendou: We‘re gonna give you one minute to explain yourself.

Shirabu: Were you expectin‘ to hear on this tape, like a, "Well, see here‘s the thing.“

Tendou: *laughs*

Daichi: Executions became sort of a morbid social event, with crowds of rowdy and drunk people gathering to watch as a form of entertainment or fascination.Some people would even arrive the night before, to ensure a good view. In fact, one pub that still stands today across the street from Viaduct, called Magpie and Stump, would have viewing rooms that people could rent out, and even offered an execution breakfast.

Suga: I love it, I love everything about it.

Daichi: *laughs* I knew you would.

Suga: I really do.

Daichi: I knew you‘d enjoy that.

Suga: *laughing*

Daichi: hahah…Holy shit. *Side eyeing suga*

Suga: I really do love it. *Suga laughs* They get a little breakfast. It‘s like goin‘ to Disneyland. You know how people in Disneyland get like, a little restaurant seat right by so they can see the parade?

Daichi: *still side eyeing suga* yeah.

Suga: This is like that, but you watch a man‘s neck break.

Daichi: *looking to the camera and to suga* okay

Kita: Shall we get outta here?

Atsumu: Yeah, here‘s your toys.

Kita: It‘s not a toy.

Atsumu: It‘s your magical toys.

Kita: It‘s a tool.

Atsumu: *drops it*

Kita:

Atsumu:

Atsumu: I didn‘t do that on purpose.

Tsukishima: Maybe there was some other stuff going on with him. I feel like maybe he ate some moldy bread or something.

Hinata: *sigh* you and the moldy bread, that‘s your number one.

Tsukishima: that‘s what happened to those people in france.

Hinata: Actually, that‘s your number of your— here‘s Tsukishima‘s starter kit, you wanna be a tsukkiac (LMAO IDK), here‘s your starter kit

Tsukishima: eat some moldy bread.

Hinata: you gotta be fond of wind.

Tsukishima: uh-huh

Hinata: You gotta love squeaky shoes.

Tsukishima: uh-huh

Hinata: Moldy bread.

Tsukishima: sure.

Hinata: Boom boom boom, you‘re a tsukkiac now

Suna: There‘s nothing there.

Atsumu: yeah, I told you.

Suna: I did get spiderwebs in my hair.

Atsumu: you did, look at you. You look like Dr. Henry Jones.

Suna: Hey, another room that looks just like this one.

Atsumu: You look ridiculous with that cobweb in your hair.

Suna: It‘s still in there?

Atsumu: Let me get that out.

Suna: Thank you.

Atsumu: *getting the web out of Suna‘s hair*

Atsumu: *suddenly spluttering and spitting*

Suna: Did you eat it?

Atsumu: It went in my mouth!

Suna: You just tasted history.

Atsumu: *still spluttering and spitting*

Suna: That‘s probably been down here for hundreds of years.

Atsumu: yeah I know! You could‘ve told me that you had so much in your hair. I thought it was just a cobweb.

Suna: I can‘t see the top-

Atsumu: There was a whole pile of rubble on your head.

Suna: I can‘t see the top of my head I don‘t know.

Atsumu: No one could see the top of your head except god.

Suna: *airy laugh* okay

Semi: At this moment, our camera catches a white orb moving away from Tendou‘s body.

Tendou: So you‘ve resorted to orbs now?

Semi: no,no,no,no

Tendou: Yes,yes,yes,yes

Semi: no,no,no-

Tendou: yes,yes,yes you‘ve resorted to orbs

Semi: ok, I‘m not an orb guy. Here‘s the thing. Am I gonna say this is a monumental piece of paranormal evidence? No, I‘m not. But I‘m gonna say that if orbs are indeed real, then this might be an orb, because it looks a little different than dust or bugs which I‘ve seen a lot of. It‘s moving in a certain way that to me, would suggest that maybe it‘s an orb. I‘m not saying it definitively is an orb, this is just something that some people might find interesting. So, you can wipe that stupid grin off your face, and uhh…just enjoy it. Enjoy that juicy orb.

Tendou: I‘m gonna enjoy this orb.

Semi: You take a bite out of it, it‘s delicious.

Tendou: *crunch* mmmmm dust

Semi: *laughing*

Series Masterlist

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rishiguro · 1 year

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HAIKYUU CHARACTERS AS TEXTS I‘VE SENT

a/n: i lied, i only sent 2/5, the others were sent to me

tsukishima. SUNA. kenma. osamu. matsukawa. IWAIZUMI.

BOKUTO. hinata. asahi. kageyama.

oikawa. daichi. AKAASHI. kita.

TANAKA. hanamaki. nishinoya. yamamoto.

yaku. SUGAWARA. yamaguchi. KUROO.

#₊❏❜ ⋮haikyuu #haikyuu headcanons #haikyuu smau #hq headcanons #haikyuu social media au #haikyuu imagines #hq smau #haikyuu x reader #hq x reader #haikyuu texts #haikyuu scenarios #haikyuu x you #haikyuu!!#haikyuu crack #hq #hq crack

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hynko · 9 months

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⋆.ೃ࿔*:･ RANDOM HAIKYUU TEXT MESSAGES

GENRE ; crack (insp. twitter)

TW ; profanity, a bit suggestive

CHARACTERS ; lev, noya, kenma, tanaka, konoha, tendou, atsumu, suna, tsukki, shirabu

m.list | previous | pt. 2

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kiwanopie · 2 years

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The Cat dilemma

“You see this? Ma’ niece sent me this.”

Kiyoomi doesn’t have enough time to dodge the phone shoved in his face before he’s unwittingly victim to some way-too-loud Tiktok video Atsumu’s showing him on his way-too-cracked screen. Some viral meme played under a nightcore rendition of a song too mainstream for him to stomach. But from what he can tell it’s about a cat on a ledge who misses his mark to the next one and smacks its little orange chin on it in the process.

He rolls his eyes before shouldering his friend off. “Jesus, take better care of your stuff.”

Atsumu pouts at him before glancing at his phone a little curiously. “You know I dropped it when ya - Hey, did ya see the video at least?!”

In lieu of responding, Kiyoomi grumbles a little before shutting the locker room door behind him.

Stupid.

It isn’t until the drive home that he even thinks about it again. When his Bluetooth doesn’t connect immediately and the radio starts to play instead. It’s that song again. Not as sped up definitely but he’d know that cookie cutter viral pop song bass and tremble anywhere. It’s stupid how stuff like that gets popular nowadays. Like any sane person can sit up and listen to something like this. But then he remembers that kids exist and they listen to stupid music and intake stupid media and definitely share stupid memes that no sane person would find funny.

Like that stupid cat video.

Kiyoomi turns on his blinker as he merges down the road leading home. Who would even laugh at something like that. Cats do silly shit all the time and you don’t see him blowing a gasket over it. Even if it did kind of hit that ledge at a funky angle. - I mean, it couldn’t have gotten hurt or anything but it… it did make a little glunk! didn’t it…

Kiyoomi purses his lips as pulls into the lot. Okay, so it was a little funny…

You’re the first thing he sees when he steps into his shared apartment.

He bends to let you pull him into a welcome home kiss as he kicks the door closed behind him. Little whispers of apple and honey blending into the strong lemony smell of his shower gel - and it makes him all warm and gooey inside that you’ve made yourself so at home in his absence. He hums as you greet him. Bends for another kiss when you tell him you missed him and pinches you a little on your side when you tease him for being a sap. There’s a knot in his shoulders that he didn’t notice was there that melts away the moment you get your hands on him. And for a moment he forgets about the whole cat dilemma.

Until, “Oh! By the way baby, your sister stopped by to drop off Salmon. Said you’d babysit him while she’s in Ueno with your mother.”

Kiyoomi groans as he shleps himself into the kitchen. He did not give her the O.K. to do that. In fact, he distinctly remembers telling her that No, I’m not going to babysit your stupid cat while you’re out with mom. And Yes, if you drop him off at my apartment anyway, I’m going to tell the people at the front desk you’re a stalker and to call the police next time.

He sighs when he finds the feline in question perched up on his kitchen counter.

“Damn it… Salmon, how many times have I told you not to-“

Oh, he must’ve spooked him.

Because without even a second to prep his little orange legs to jump, he lifts off of the first counter right to the ledge leading to the first floor steps. A clumsy little rocket ship form that kicks his legs lamely behind him, and right as he gets to the edge he’s aiming for - He falls short.

He knicks his little chin with a soft glunk!

It’s not even a second later that you find Kiyoomi doubled over a bathing Salmon, coughing his way through a giggle fit.

#no cats were harmed in the making of this drabble #this might belong to a boyfriend!kiyoomi series I’ve been considering #so #boyfriend!kiyoomi #sakusa kiyoomi x reader #sakusa kiyoomi #haikyuu sakusa #hq sakusa #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu!!#hq x reader #haikyuu fluff #hq crack

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