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newartistgirl · 1 year

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Twilight and why he would make a wonderful protagonist.

It’s a weird statement to say out of the blue. I’m aware. But listen, please.

I have all this rant already written about why if there’s one Link who will die it will be no other than the Old man. While thinking about that I came to the realisation Twilight has the protagonist material. Now, what do I mean with this? If you look closely, all of them have “protagonist qualities” and maybe it’s just the fact that some other storylines haven’t been yet explored that much why they haven’t shone as much yet. This is meant to be a story about the nine of them, not just some of them. Not just Twilight. So don’t take this too seriously, I could probably make a rant about any of the Links as protagonists whithout issues.

Having said this, is time to clarify what does “the protagonist material” mean. Think about a protagonist, a rather old one. Nowdays protagonists in stories have a need of being different, of bringing something new and/or unseen, being outcasts, members of society who struggle... (They have a more romanticism vibe ig?), hence my interest on more traditional adventure protagonists. Having had a character like Link, whose background does not differ that much from game to game, since 1986, means that he, eventhough has had an evolution and slight changes through the years, still falls under the typical heroic protagonist who will fight against evil.

So why did Twilight in this comic between all of them, who have been protagonists at some point, caught my attention? To sum it up briefly before expaining further; he is kindhearted, young, has love issues, a mentor and someone under his wing. His age, position in the group, and traits makes it easy to think of him as an ideal protagonist.

In games, we see a Link who is a simple hard-working boy who serves as a helping hand in the ranch. He is an orphan but seems to be close to Rusl and his son Collin, who aspires to be like him one day. All the children like to play with him and, of course, he has a very special childhood friend whom he shares with some kind of romantic-like scenes. (I’m specially refering to that one of Ilia regaining her memories and giving Link the whistle she made. The fact that the animators decided to have all the characters leave them alone, and a shot of Beth dragging Talo far form the window, added to the scene in general, makes obvious the intentions they had)

In comics we see that same boy but with an added extra layer of depth. As it should be of course, because the biggest point of these comics, which started as mere interactions between the Links, are, you guessed it, the characters.

Now it’s time to point out the things that would make him easy to place as a main character.

1. Kindhearted. I know, as I stated earlier, this is not by any means a requirement. In fact, you can find many not so kindhearted main characters, (and not so main), who are still great. Still, this positions him in a good place among the rest of the Links, because, as we have already seen, Twilight has been seen several times being told secrets/problems, and or showing that he is trustworthy. If you have thought right now about Sky, you are right too. He, just like Twilight, is stated to be killed with kindness and Legend claims that, if anyone, he could trust Sky. So, what does make Twilight different from him?

2. His age. If you look back in the archives theres a post where jojo explains why she made Twilight be older than Sky when, in games, they seem to be around the same age. The answer is maturity. As I said a few paragraphs ago, in Twilight Princess, Link is a hard-working boy who helps around the village and kids like and admire, while in Skyward Sword, Link is a sleepyhead student who is outstandingly talented and lucky. Other way he might have not become a knight of Skyloft. This choice of making Twilight an adult instead of an old teen may have marked a little bit his position in the group, as kind of a second leader. But is he actually a “second leader”?

3. His character descriptions says it all. Only a few Links are stated to be or not be leader material, something important to aknowledge when theres a group of nine heroes working together. Time is said to be leader type, and is the leader of the group. Being the oldest has its advantages. Warriors is also said to be leader type. He’s called captain for a reason. Legend is said to be a leader type that chooses not to be one. (Something that -don’t kill me-, could actually make him an interesting heroic, or even antiheroic, main character, or sidekick of the protagonist). What’s interesting about the rancher’s description is that it is specified that, eventhough he is indeed a leader type, he does not think of himself as such. This is actually a good main character kind of trait that by the end of the story he may or may not have overcome (yeah, the story could end with the protagonist failing to succeed or change what was expected. That could be the point).

4. The mentor. This is for a reason considered a trope. It’s often used in stories as a guide to the main character. It’s old and wise, and often dies (ironic isn’t it?). Of course our aspiring protagoist has a mentor figure; Time, whom he shares with a story yet to explore. Furthermore, he is not just a mentor figure to a hero, he is a mentor figure to an orphan hero, and they happen to be blood related? (Im laughing right now) Isn’t that like... too perfect? On a more serious note, this is actually a side of the story I that really hope gets even more relevant. (I reeeeally like this trope)

5. Wild. As I said, Twilight has been told secrets and has been seen being a shoulder to cry on (and did a good job at handling those situations). However, there’s an important dynamic in the group that, in my opinion, could favour even more that main character-ish development. While I love (too) many of them I’m now talking about the Champion and the Rancher. It works as a kind of mirror to Time and Twilight’s dynamic (wouldn’t say relationship because, as far as we know, they are the only heroes to share blood. I guess that makes it a little bit different). There’s, as I said, potential for development and growth through this friendship, making Twilight be in a similar position to the one person he admires and looks up to. Would that help him realise, maybe, he is indeed a leader type?

6. Love issues. I know this is not necessary at all for a main character but it’s undeniably a recurrent obstacle in the main character’s path who all romantic people probably enjoy. Sometimes does not even have to have “complications”, but the figure of the love interest has it’s own name for a reason. Twilight, in games, does not seem to have a major love issue. In fact, as I recalled at the beggining of this, now we could say, essay, it seems clear that Ilia and Link had feelings for eachother. And that they were reciprocated. So, what’s the issue? Midna. The answer is Midna. Eventhough it’s not confirmed at all, some people like to think that, after all that time they spent together, something more than a friendship blossomed. Mangas support this, and, eventhough they are not canon, neither is Linked Universe. This AU might be truthfull to the games to death, but has taken some obvious licenses (The fusion between some heroes to make the goup smaller, adding Hyrule Warriors’ Link...) I’m not here to say it’s wrong what was done ‘casue, honestly, I think jojo made really good choices. In fact, I could say that I think jojo has made really good choices too in what love life of the members of the group are concerned. Definitive pairs, being a frequent reason of disagreement, have been slightly avoided, at least for those who have a wide range of plausible couples. (I’m not gonna ramble about Time and Malon despite really wanting to. Just...best decision ever) What do I mean by this? If you think about it, love has not been yet a really important matter. It has been brought up several times but, if we look closely, as I said, the only officialy established relationships are Malon and Time, Sky and his corresponding Zelda, and, eventhough it’s not “a thing” Legend and Marin (They are not in a relationship, because... well, you know... But it has been shown that she is still in his mind with no other candidates) Some of them haven’t been reported to have a special someone, and, as jojo said, all those who hadn’t have a “special lady” to complicate things would by default fill that space with Zelda. No, im not forgetting about Twilight. Let me get there. As it has been shown for Wild and Twilight, all the posible ladys have been mentioned. The same way both Mipha and Zelda have been brought up to Wild, Twilight has been brought up Ilia (by Warriors), but most importantly, he has brought up Midna.

The picture may not be legible but he is saying: “A princess beautiful as the setting sun shattered my heart like a mirror into a million pieces”. Of course he is not refering to princess Zelda but rather her counterpart in the twilight realm; Midna. So that leads us to his original description. What does “getting over a complicated relationship” means? It is also an allusion to Midna and Links’. And yeah, I’ve got evidence to prove jojo meant to say Twilight is getting over a complicated relationship.

I’m talking about this.

Look closely to that one that says: “Are his newly strong feelings for midna a phase? after all, Ilia was always the girl for him. This is a confirmation that, Twilight has, indeed, a kind of love story going on. And the fact that Warriors has brought her up in a teasing way makes me think that this may still be on the table and that it’s not so far away.

Maybe this could be changed to; Why Twilight as a protagonist would have a special place in my mind. But, whatever. If you made it this far let me thank you very much for your attention. Any kind of idea, suggestion, and personal thought is welcome.

#linked universe #linkeduniverse #linked universe rant #lu rambles #Lu rants #LU Twilight #lu

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sophsicle · 2 years

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I think it’s sort of about how you had Mary confide in James about something so vulnerable and then had him treat her the way he did. I found it difficult to stomach. And it probably isn’t super encouraging for people to speak out, because what’s happened in this story is that Mary has trusted her friend and I’m return he’s persistently supported someone who was protecting her attackers and tampered with her memories. I don’t know if you’d write this any differently now if you had the opportunity but I imagine this is part of the problem people are referring to when they discuss Mary’s attack and how it was handled.

Hello! Yes, I totally agree, and I think this is something I would change. Part of the problem is I was very intent on not making James the focus or the hero of that story. I didn't want to turn Mary's attack into a moment for his character growth, I wanted it to be about her and her relationship to the magical world and the beginning of us seeing her pull away and handle stuff on her own. But because of that I neglected to fully address James's responsibility in all of this and the implications of that. Which, looking back, is something I deeply, deeply regret. At the same time, there are still parts of it that ring true to me. Like James is a sixteen year old boy who has now had two people confide their incredibly serious trauma to him and he is struggling to figure out how to handle that. He handles it poorly, but I think most sixteen year olds probably would handle it poorly. And while I know this isn't what people mean when they say "romanticizing" it would feel like a "romantic" portrayal of SA to me, to have everyone you confide in support you or react exactly the way you need them to. I just, I don't know, I haven't seen that happen very often.

I think people can genuinely care about you and still let you down. And James absolutely lets her down. I also like the power it gives that moment at the end of chapter 31 when she realizes that of course James, the pureblood, rich, popular guy, is involved with Regulus. Of course he's protecting Regulus. Of course he can't understand how this feels. However nice, however sweet, he will always be able to make excuses for Regulus's behaviour because he will never be the one at the mercy of it. And how could she have thought he would be any different.

There's something in that that's important to me. Because James is a good guy, but he is still a member of the elite. And he will still always struggle to understand where people like Mary and Lily are coming from. And I feel like that gets lost a lot with James's character. Jegulus only works because James is privileged enough to be forgiving (if that makes sense?). And Mary explicitly calls that out, which is one of the reasons that her character is so important to me. And I sometimes feel as though people just completely ignore her and what she has to say in this fic. That because these critiques aren't being made by Sirius or Remus or James they don't hold as much weight. And I find that a bit frustrating. Regardless, were I to go back, I think I would have it be Lily or Marlene (or both honestly) that she confides in instead of James OR as well as James, because while everyone may not react the way you need them to that doesn't mean that no one will and that is also important to show. While I do think there were reasons why I wrote it the way I did, ultimately I think the negative impact outweighs the positive, especially because James and Regulus are the focus of this story. Also thank you so much for this message, it is sometimes difficult to know what to address when people just say "you handled this badly" so this was really helpful!

#soph rambles #choices

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mousieta · 2 years

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Review: Twenty-Five Twenty-One

Year: 2022 Country: Korea Platform: Netflix

Twenty-five Twenty One is a coming of age drama elevated by a stellar cast and a thoughtful, moving script to stand out within its genre. Disclaimer, though, I may be biased as I am smack dab in the center of the target demographic of this show’s nostalgia pull. I’m the same age as Kim Tae Ri’s character, Na Hee Do, with a daughter only a year or so younger than hers. That fact definitely colors my perception of the show. But, I feel, also gives me insight on what it is setting out to do and a clear perspective on how successful I feel it was.

In the vein of the Reply series, the show centers on youth’s coming of age in the late 90s and early 00s. The show spans roughly from the IMF crisis in South Korea through the United States attacks of 9/11. The focus is on the transition from teenager to adult within the context of a sports drama.

Kim Tae Ri plays Na Hee Do; her and her rival Go Yu Rim are international level fencers. The show lovingly sprawls through relationships with parents, friends, the struggle of self-discovery, finding one’s path in the world, starting a career and, of course as any KDrama worth its salt, first love.

What sets this drama apart - in my opinion - is what makes it controversial and will potentially render it unpalatable to others and it also cannot be easily discussed without show-ending spoilers. So if you don’t want those, you can go ahead and skip the rest of the review knowing I heartily loved and recommend this drama for its solid writing and acting (Nam Joo Hyuk, as ever, reminding me of why I have such a soft spot for his characters and their awkward charm).

~spoilers past this point~

A common trope in the Romance-heavy drama landscape is the idea of The One. It is not enough for our OTP to meet, fall in love, and be together. No, they must also be fated, destined to meet since childhood, mystically connected all their lives. It is a useful short-hand, a way of confirming to the viewer that once the drama is over and done, the viewer gone, these two are going to remain together in perpetuity (which is often why sequels or continuations is placed where they’re more common are awkward). Fate has declared it so,

To be clear, I have no problem with this trope. It is just one of many in a storyteller’s toolbox: dependent on execution for its success.

However, over the course of life, a person can have many loves, many important relationships. Longevity is not the sole marker or a relationship’s success or value. So it is refreshing to have a show that acknowledges and explores that. A romantic love can be deeply important, powerful and essential to a certain person at a certain time in their life and then ultimately fall apart. The fact that it ended does not render the relationship’s place in a person’s life meaningless and doesn’t have to be torn down because someone eventually has a different life partner.

The show takes pains to show early on and continuously in the flash fowards that Hee Do is not with Yi Jin. He is not the father of her child and she only knows about what’s going on with him in passing. I am sure some may have anticipated a last minute fake out, putting everything right so our lovers can rid off into the sunset, but there is no such moment, nor even the hint of one. The last scene is not a mystical meet-cute. The focus is fully on Hee Do reflecting on the beauty and ephemeral nature of the past.

The relationship is permanently left in the past of Hee Do’s journals and memories. This, for me, renders the entire story all the more poignant, overlaying it with a Romanticism of youth.

I found the ultimate dissolution of the main relationship heartbreaking because it was so understandable and believable. It is not enough to care about someone, to be in love. Relationships require communication skills and cultivation, things that come with experience. It is why first, young love rarely works out. Especially in the late teens/early 20s which is a transitionally period for many people. It is a time of internal growth and self-discovery which is important and not always conducive to building a relationship. (Of course relationships from this age can work out, but it is nice to see them *not* working out and still be important)

As watchers, it is frustrating because we can see what the characters need to do to solve their problems. But the characterization of each lead is so strong we understand why these solutions aren’t possible or readily discovered by either of them.

And so, we are left on this gem-like reflection on the past. It is unclear if current day Hee Do is happy; there is a melancholy to Kim So Hyun’s portrayal of the older Hee Do. And we never see her partner to know how that relationship is. But I find that ambiguity fitting. This show is ultimately about youth, and in ones 20s the future is wholly uncertain.

#twenty-five twenty-one #kim tae ri #nam joo hyuk #kdrama #mousie watches kdrama #reviews 2022

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xaracosmia · 2 months

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ꕥ — WELCOME TO MARE COSMIA, RYOJI MOCHIZUKI. 🌗

ꕥ — OOC INFORMATION;

name / alias: willow age: 22 pronouns: they/she ooc contact: @worldterminus on twitter other characters in xc: asa mitaka, mizuki akiyama, charles eyler

ꕥ — IC INFORMATION;

name: Ryoji Mochizuki age: 17 pronouns: He/They/It series: Persona 3 canon point: Post-Reload app triggers: death, martyrdom / idealization of death/sacrifice, the apocalypse

personality:

To most, Ryoji was nothing more than the enigmatic new transfer student at Gekkoukan High; the attractive new kid who spent his time flirting with people and slacking off. Even he believed this for quite some time, and despite the sinking feeling that something just may be wrong that followed him day by day, Ryoji was nothing short of extroverted.

He’s excitable in nature, and presents himself quite like any teenage boy might. While his demeanor may be described as relatively “off,” he does a good job of blending in with his peers without any trouble. He’s empathetic by nature and truly appears to be understanding and caring despite the true, underlying lack of humanity in his heart.

Additionally, Ryoji has a tendency to lean towards romanticism. He feels human emotion rather strongly, including love and even melancholy, but he has no trouble hiding these feelings if need be.

something your muse struggles with: humanity is a strange, foreign concept to ryoji. understanding the throes of human nature is something he’s trying to accomplish day by day, even if he’s so far forsaken his humanity since learning his true purpose.

your muse’s greatest strength: his love and boundless empathy for others, holding a vast sea of care for those he can call his friends.

history / background:

In times of eld, “Nyx” came into existence.

As She rose, She bestowed the prophecy of “The Fall” upon the world, along with Night and Death. With this prophecy, she decreed that, should humanity lose their will to live on, The Fall would come and end the world.

Years after the manifestation of Nyx and Her prophecy, the Kirijo Group came to be. This group learned of the prophecy and, in a hope to release the world, began collecting Shadows in order to physically manifest Death itself. Eventually, their experiment came to fruition, and Death was awakened – though not without struggle.

An interruption brought Death to split into thirteen Shadows, who rampaged and eventually became lost in a phenomena known as the Dark Hour, a missing hour that occurred after the stroke of midnight. The thirteenth, the body of Death itself, escaped the Kirijo Group’s facility, though eventually caught and sealed within the body of onlooker Minato Arisato by the anti-Shadow weapon, Aigis.

Ten years later, however, the Shadows within the Dark Hour began to awaken. Sensing this, so awakens Death. He assumes the form of a child named Pharos, lacking the memories of the events prior and instead spending his time haunting his host, Minato, the only one to be able to see and hear him. He would spend the coming months on every full moon to speak to Minato about his recent dreams. After the defeat of the twelfth Shadow, Death eventually reassembles, pulling itself from Minato’s body and instead manifesting as Ryoji Mochizuki, though lacking his memories of the previous years and his time as Pharos.

Believing himself to be a normal high school boy, Ryoji transfers into Gekkoukan High. Extroverted and flirtatious, he immediately becomes popular among his peers. Aigis, who had become a trusted friend of Minato as well as his other peers – S.E.E.S., those who defeated the Shadows that manifested Death initially – showed very pointed hostility toward Ryoji, though she could not justify her hesitation to trust him.

On the following full moon, Ryoji finds himself on the moonlit bridge under the dark hour, the same time and place he had fought Aigis so many years ago. It is here that he remembers who he is, and his purpose -- Death, the avatar of Nyx, the harbinger of The Fall.

Having proven himself a trusted friend and ally of S.E.E.S. over the past month he spent with them, Ryoji decides it best to reveal his true identity to S.E.E.S. and warn them of the end times that will come with his existence, allowing them a choice: kill him, wiping their memories and letting them live out their days in peace until the world ends, or leave him alive and face Nyx as She rises once more.

By their choice, Ryoji remains alive.

Though he finds himself saddened by their decision, he bids them a final farewell, telling them all to look forward to the coming year.

In the next month, Ryoji appears in Tartarus – no longer as himself, but as the avatar of Nyx, bringer of the end. While attempting to summon Nyx as a whole and bring about The Fall, the Avatar fends off S.E.E.S. as they attempt to fell it and stop the summoning – to no avail, as the being that once was Ryoji Mochizuki is defeated for good.

powers / abilities:

SHADOW FORM: thanatos. ryoji has the ability to reveal his true form as an anthropomorphic personification of death, as well as avatar of the primordial being nyx, thanatos. with this form, he may innately utilize a variety of magical and physical abilities:

• instant death to anybody experiencing extreme fear. (from ghastly wail)

• strong, fatal or near-fatal “almighty” – otherwise “godlike” – and light-based attacks. (from megidola & mahamaon)

• usage of a magically-aspected sword to attack enemies.

NYX AVATAR: in trying and failing to bring about the fall, the nyx avatar was physically manifested from him. as such, ryoji has the ability to become the nyx avatar, an infinitely more powerful, godlike entity of shadow existing to bring about the fall, or the end of the world. ryoji has no intent to transform into this being. it has a multitude of abilities, rooted in arcana. depending on the arcana that is activated – using the “fool” arcana – nyx’s strength is heightened when utilizing the corresponding attack type, all of which it can innately use.

• magician: fire-based attacks.

• priestess: ice-based attacks.

• empress: wind-based attacks.

• emperor: electric-based attacks.

• hierophant: weapon-based attacks.

• lovers: the ability to charm and/or induce panic/paranoia in another.

• chariot: physical attacks.

• justice: light-based attacks that may instantly kill another.

• hermit: darkness-based attacks and defense assistance. may also induce panic, and use poison attacks.

• fortune: ice, fire, wind, and electric-based attacks.

• strength: physical and weapon-based attacks.

• hanged man: darkness-based attacks that may instantly kill another. may induce deep fear.

• death: ice, fire, wind, and electric-based attacks, and physical/defensive assistance; may also induce deep fear, panic, and use poison attacks.

inherent abilities: N/A

items / weapons: N/A

starting ability: shadow form starting item: n/a

extra: rip ryoji mochizuki you would’ve loved red velvet

discord id: nexfortuna

#xc application #mun: willow #mare cosmia

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angellissy · 3 years

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Hey :) I’ve never requested anything before so I’m sorry if i do it wrong hahah

But could I request something where instead of ward faking his death it’s rafe who has to do it and none of the pouges know about your relationship until it’s you crying in the dock instead of Sarah. And when you and the piggies go on the “rescue” mission to get Sarah off of the boat you see rafe and eventually end up staying with him and leaving your friends

I’m sorry if this is really long xx thank you for taking the time to read my request

R E A C H I N G F O R T H E S U R F A C E

SEASON TWO SPOILERS!

rafe Cameron x Reader

warnings: angst with a big a, canon rafe (maybe a bit softer), toxic relationship, rafe playing the victim card, death and talks of suicide.

a/n: I feel like it is of importance that I tell you all that I have done everything in my power not to romanticize the rafe cameron character and if I have then please kindly let me know because sometimes it can be hard. However I still need to say that I am writing through the eyes of the “reader” who very much still cares for this boy, which also means that the way the reader deals with things might not have been your way. If any more warnings should be included in the beginning, feel free to let me know. I hope you enjoy this fic which I am actually very proud of. A big thanks to @snkkat who is my proof reading buddy. Also thanks for sending in the request, I LOVED writing it! <3

They say that when you die your life flashes before your eyes, but how about when you watch someone else die? For as you watched him die, the life and moments the two of you had shared flashed before your eyes like a string of reminders of a life and love lost. It felt as if there was no air for you to breathe, you weren’t even sure how long it had been since you managed to take a full breath. Your mind was running in circles, trying to grasp what had just occurred, replaying the scene over and over again until you were not even sure what reality you were in. With a hammering heart and a split soul, you were kneeling on the dock, just minutes after watching your first love take his own life. You could not even remember how you had gotten out here in the first place, you just wished that you would have stayed behind as all your friends rushed toward a disaster in waiting. Perhaps that would have spared you some of the heartbreak, spared you from hearing him scream that he loved you one last time, spared you from seeing his boat go up in flames. But no, you were sure that for as long as you lived, you would see that blazing inferno whenever you closed your eyes.

There were arms around you, an attempt to soothe your shaking body, it only made you feel more trapped in a memory you would never escape. Those arms lifted you up and suddenly you were walking, mixed in all the anger and sadness there was a surprise that your body was even able to function. It felt as if you were outside of your body watching everything occur, you watched as Kiara and JJ helped you sit down on a sofa and as they draped a blanket over your shoulders. You watched it unfold, but you couldn’t feel it and there was no way that you would be able to respond to their worried questions. Instead, you were stuck in a mind that replayed everything Rafe had ever said or done to you as if that somehow could manifest him back to life. That stuck-up boy with the golden hair had been your first boyfriend, complicated as the relationship may have been, it had been the first time you ever experienced something close to love. Just days ago you had stood before him, tears in your eyes and heart in your throat as you called the relationship off. For a very long time, he had not been the boy you fell for, but rather a ghost of who he once was. Where he had once been sweet and tender with you, there had only been cold stares and words sharp enough to cut through ice. You were not oblivious to the fact that he struggled with issues you could never comprehend, but you refused to be an accomplice in his undoing. Time after time you had tried to be the person he could cling to when the world sat heavily upon his shoulders, but you soon realized that love and affection could not solve all problems. Oh, and you had loved him so much that you would have done anything for him to smile at you the way he had when he uttered those big three words for the first time. He had watched you with eyes that held so much adoration that you thought that they would never dim, that they would shine brighter for each time his eyes found yours. But eventually, they had dulled, and so you had realized that you would not sacrifice yourself no matter how much you cared for him. It did not matter that you had called things off with him or that you had decided to leave him in order to save yourself, for the knowledge that he was actually gone made it feel like someone was clawing at your heart and trying to rip it apart. It felt like no time in the world would be able to heal the pain in your chest or dry the tears falling from your eyes.

Time was indeed a funny thing, how seconds turned into minutes and how then those minutes became hours. Hours that you spent reminiscing over a life you thought you had given up before it was lost forever. You clung to the memories of him as if they were the lifebuoy keeping an anchor from pulling you down in a sea made up of your own sorrow. You knew that you were staying in your own made-up memories of a relationship with more bad times than good, but a part of you felt that you could not grieve the person he had become. For he had been vile and horrid, and if you acknowledged that, you would feel guilty for the sadness overwhelming you. So yes, you stayed in your made-up reality and wept for the boy that could have been. As hours turned into days, your friends made every effort to comfort you and try to get you out of the room that had become your place of mourning. Their tries aggravated you, for they did not understand the feelings rushing through your body at such speed it made you lightheaded. Each one of them had hated Rafe Cameron with at least one bone in their body and you knew how some of them had looked the day he died as if they were content that he was finally gone. Relieved that he could no longer plague them with taunts and threats that might have become reality was it not for his passing. You might have understood this, had it not been for the grief and guilt plaguing every bone in your body.

As days turned into weeks, you eventually came to appreciate their efforts to help you. It was like your vision was starting to clear and you could finally start trying to live your life again, and the first step to doing that was always to surround yourself with people that made you roar with laughter. Their ventures to try and find the Cross of Santo Domingo, were helpful, to say the least. Those adventures were as distracting as they were terrifying since the outcome was never given. Your mixed friend group of pogues and kooks had actually found that damn cross as well. Who would have thought that a bunch of high school kids would be able to find a historic relic? The answer would have been no one, and that is why you don’t underestimate kids with no limits. The cross had been in your grasp until a greedy and manipulative Ward Cameron came along and grabbed it. Ever since that particular happening, things started going south fast and it all ended up with Sarah being kidnapped by her own guardians. It also ended up with the rest of you stowed away like cargo on the ship she was on. While John B and Pope carried out their plan to find Sarah and the famous cross, you, JJ, and Kie sweated from every pore as you waited to hear from them. You had zoned out, staring mindlessly into one of the walls of the container, in the background you could hear your two friends talk about their dreams for the future. Something about going on several surfing trips at various destinations with each other, and that part made your heart ache. Sure, after everything he had done, a future with Rafe had not been one of your dreams. Still, as you listened to your friends talk, you could only remember a time where he had been everything you wanted in life. You pressed your palms upon your face as if you somehow could force every memory of him to remain in that little part of your brain where you were hoping they would become forgotten. A loud clank dragged you out of your thoughts and you looked up just in time to see Pope and John B climb in through that small window opening, followed by a woman you had never ever seen. Shortly after that, problems started to arise and soon all of you were scrambling out of the container in hopes of not being detected by the workers on the boat. They were in obvious search of all of you, which made you sweat even more than you had done inside the container. All of you received different plans on how to tackle the situation, yours was to act as a lookout for John B as he searched for Sarah.

You followed him down to what you could only assume was the boiler room since steam was thick in the air and you took your place by the door as he ventured further down. His desperate cries for Sarah echoed through the room and you dearly wished for a response to be heard, but there was nothing except the sound of his shoes against the floor. Thump, thump, thump and then utter silence until John B utters a name that made it feel as if the floor was pulled away from under your feet.

“Rafe.”

One of your hands finds the doorframe, a poor attempt to steady yourself as you try to figure out if this is a trick played by your grieving mind. You take a few breaths and as the silence is once again interrupted by two raised voices, you follow John B’s path down into the room. The heart in your chest is beating so hard that it feels like you are going to throw up, and it only gets worse the nearer you come. At first, you only see your friend, but then you look past him

and

your

heart

stops.

Rafe Cameron had died in front of your very eyes, so either the gods were playing a nasty cruel joke or you had lost the battle with your mind. You shut your eyes just to open them again, and no matter how many times you did it, he still remained. What happened next was a bit peculiar to you, for weeks you had drowned in grief where sadness was the constant emotion, but as you looked him in the eye and saw that he was very much alive, rage and anger crushed into you with the force of a thousand waves. You stepped toward him, only for an arm to shoot out to stop you, and John B added to his gesture by saying “Don’t”. Laughter bubbled in your throat, for who was he to tell you what you could or could not say to your “dead” ex-boyfriend who seemed to never stop causing you grief.

“Find Sarah.” John B hesitated for a few moments before following your unspoken order to leave you and Rafe alone. It wasn’t surprising considering that his worry for Sarah would always overpower anything else. Once again you looked into Rafe’s blue eyes, remembering a time when you used to stare in them for so long you would see specks of green and grey. Had you searched for those colors now, you would probably have found them. However, you were trying to decipher whatever feeling that was shining in them, was it anger? No, his other features were too soft for that and the hand holding his weapon had gone slack as he watched you. Maybe it was relief? No that was not it either, for why would he be relieved to see you? You were not the one who had died and left the other behind. You stepped even closer to him, the simmering anger inside of your veins made your hands shake and he looked at them briefly as if he wanted to take them in his. Your hands clenched into fists and you watched as his shoulders dropped the tiniest bit, and suddenly you knew exactly what was shining in his eyes.

Love, and sadness. Your heart started to speed up again, and you knew that once you opened your mouth, the anger and grief that had become part of you, would tumble out in words that you would never be able to take back. But he had done something much worse, so he would listen, you would make sure of it. Your lips parted slightly and he must have seen it for his words came first.

“I- fuck I am sorry okay? But I had to do it, you wouldn’t understand but I had to do it, it was the best for everyone.” As he says this you can’t help the sound that slips through your lips, it was supposed to be a laugh but it sounds more like a sob. His eyes flicker between you and everything else in the room as if there was anything in here that could save him for this conversation. You move your hands toward your chest and his eyes watch as you press them hard against your chest, against the heart that won’t stop breaking.

“Best for everyone?” Your voice is the combination of a whisper and a ragged breath “Did you have my best interest in mind when you let me believe you had blown yourself up?” He winces and makes an attempt to say something but you hold up a hand to stop him. “Did it ever occur to you how your little stunt would affect the one person who still, despite everything, loved you?” This time, your voice has started to rise towards something like a scream, and how could you not scream when there is so much sadness inside of you that it felt like just looking at him would turn your body into a pool of water.

“You broke up with me, so don’t start acting like a victim where you aren’t one.” His features are starting to morph into those he carries when anger overcomes him, but you will not back away from this. Your hands are in your hair, pulling at it as if that would help you make sense of this situation. “You broke my heart long before I broke yours.” You can’t help the way your voice breaks or the tears that start falling from your eyes.“You needed and still need help and until you receive that help, you are prone to hurt anyone in your vicinity.” Now it is his turn to drag his hands through his hair and his breaths come faster and faster until you realize that he is starting to hyperventilate. He sinks to the floor and you follow, not sure how to help when it feels like his state is mirroring your own. With cautious movements, you place your hands on his shoulders, and the shaking of his body sends trembles throughout yours. For a while nothing happens, you just sit there with your hands on his body and watch him fall apart. Perhaps you should have been glad that he was suffering, after everything he had done to you he deserved it. But you couldn’t feel anything other than anguish and as a sob escaped his body every restraint you had kept on yourself broke and you hugged him towards your chest. You could never save him, but he clung to you as if you had the power to undo every wrong he had ever done. After a while, he looks up at your tear-streaked face and one of his hands reaches up to cup it. You want to look away because you can see everything in those eyes of his, every regret and every wish he has ever had. His forehead leans towards you and you feel his hot breath against your skin. As you breathe in the scent of cologne and feel his skin against yours, you feel overwhelmed by the fact that he is actually here. You notice that his lips part and for a second you are scared that he is going to kiss you, but he must know that there is a limit to your patience with him so he just whispers words with the promise of what could have been. “I wanted to be good for you.” A small smile takes place on your lips and you close your eyes as you try to restrain the well of emotions inside of you. “I know Rafe, I know.” He breathes out a little, almost as if he is relieved that you are aware that he tried in a world and with a mind constantly working against him. You knew, but you also knew that there was someone else out there for you. Someone who would love you in a way that Rafe would never be able to, in a way that would not send the two of you to the bottom of the ocean. Whoever was out there would make you swim. For so long you had wanted to believe that Rafe was the one, despite all his flaws you would have given anything for him to be your future. It was a relief to know that you could and deserved to have more. But you also knew that you needed to do something before that could happen.

“I will stay-.” Before you could even finish your sentence he whipped his head up to look at you with such hope you never wanted to continue talking. You swallowed hard and forced yourself to go on. “I will stay with you just to make sure you receive the help you need.” His whole body deflated and you had to bite your lip in order not to cry again. Eventually, he nodded and you closed your eyes in relief. You knew that this had to be the right move, no one else would listen to him or make sure he got help, so you needed to be the one to did. Just enough so that you finally could start swimming towards the surface.

#rafe cameron imagines #rafe cameron headcanon #rafe cameron x reader #outerbanks rafe #rafe cameron #rafe obx #rafe x reader #rafe cameron x y/n #rafe cameron x oc #rafe cameron x you #drew starkey #outer banks x reader #outer banks #outer banks season 2 #outer banks imagine #obx #obx season 2 #obx spoilers #obx fanfiction

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midday0nightmares · 3 years

Photo

14 - painless.

previous chapter like father, like son.

m.list.

tw - angst, kidnapping, mental health, blood, drugs, non-con.

*this is pure fiction and it is not intended to romanticize any of the situations mentioned bellow.

“I hate you.. “

He responds with an annoyed sigh..

you simmered through out the ride, your unwell condition exaggerating your emotions..

the car pulled in the underground parking lots, as soon as he unlocks the doors you throw the teddy bear at him hitting his face..

You bolt out the car starching your steps as wide as you can, He stalks behind you, thanks to his long legs he mange to reach the elevator door before you.. the lifeless stuffed toy in his hand..

He steps I first and you follow him.. you lean on the cold steal walls of the elevator, finding solace in it’s coolness against your hot body..

You stomp to the apartment door and cross your arms huffing while he opens the door.. he lets you walk in first

When you step in you attempt to slam the door in his face.. but your pity attempt fails as he catches the door before it closes.

You were testing your limits with him.. even though you know you should quite before he snaps, you continue

You kick the ridiculous crocks shoes he had given you earlier and storm off to his room, this time successfully slamming the door..

you took of the hoodie and threw it on the floor remaining in a thin t-shirt, a pitifully announcing your rebliouling ..

you flopped on his bed, your bottom lip quivering.. the anger turned into frustration that could be only be expressed with tears.. tears you don’t want to cry any more, tears you don’t want to show any more..

You expected him to follow you, to shout, to beat you.. anything, but he doesn’t.

After you’ve calmed down.. you reflect and you think you may have overreacted..

It’s 3:53 am .. it’s almost morning, you’ve given up on today.. you lay to sleep your frustration away..

Days have passed with you keeping your distance, and due to your unwell condition they have allowed you your space..

Days turns over in waste.. another tools over, a bitter taste stronger than ever before blooms in your mouth greats you as you open your eyes to the new day.. a heavy sadness resides inside of you, weighing your limbs down..

You feel empty, a shell of human.. mentally drained, you try to push through it..

You get up to an empty apartment.. the clock reads 11:48 am, they should be at work right now..

You open the fridge looking for something to appease you.. cereal and milk,

Jaemin’s blanket folded neatly over the couch next to it was the teddy bear he bought you.. still sitting in it’s place since that night..

You feel embarrassed for your childish actions.. your heart squeeze in guilt, dose he even sleep?

You finish your sweet breakfast and take your temperature.. it reads 37, you follow with the last round of your meds..

With n nothing to occupy it, your mind wonders to him.. to his warm embrace, it was all you could think about..

You overcome your pride and lay on the couch, in the same spot he sleeps on.. you wrap yourself with his blanket..

you lie to yourself and pretend you only did it because you are too lazy to walk back to his room..

You doze off once you were content with the warmth that surrounded you..

You jolt up and scrambling to put the blanket to the it’s original form before they get back and see you clinging to jaemin’s blanket..

You know you shouldn’t indulge yourself in him.. it’s not healthy, he’s deeply disturbed man, you shouldn’t.. but only this time.

Another week comes and goes with no events..

the calmness feels uneasy, a nagging feeling in you keeps you on guard..

One of those boring evenings, that you usually spend hiding in jaemin’s room reading whatever book is available, started taking a steep turn when you hear your name being called..

You pounder whether to answer it or ignore it..

You walk out the room turning the corner to the open space of the living room to see three men seated around the couch..

jaemin, jeno and an unfamiliar face that rings alarms in you.. the air smells like alcohol, three pair of dark eyes staring at you..

“is that her?” The stranger asks.. oilgning you

“come closer.. he’s not gonna bite you” jeno says in an upbeat tone.. his face is flushed red, side effects of being intoxicated..

“Your dad has a great taste ..” The stranger nudges jaemin who remains eerily quite..

“Come here..” Jeno pats the space next to him..

and against your better judgment you take one step closer, jeno grabs your wrist.. you dig in your heals and try to free your arm..you struggle against jeno’s strength before the stranger man speaks again ..

“oh jeno don’t hurt the pretty girl.. let het go” he humors jeno .. and they both laugh..

The stranger stand, his hight stretches above you..he’s not as built as jeno but you can tell you have already lost against him, he comes closer to you, sister look in his eyes..

“Hey .. my name is haechan, what’s yours sweetheart?”..

His right hand stretched to shake yours you look at it with disgust..

His hand retreat to fall to his side, his young poking the inner side of his cheek.. he turns to look at jaemin, who was quietly watching the interaction, cool and seemingly relaxed he sips on his whisky and nod giving an approval..

Feeling of dread crept up to your stomach.. your heart beats loud in your ears, your mind begins to cloud with fear..

Haechan turns to you, his hand shamlessly blaming his crotch.. your eyes wiedding in shock cracking jeno into a laughter.

He strides towards you like an animal cornering it’s prey,

“Stay away from me!” You bark at him with no intimidation,

Amused jeno warns “carful she scratches” ..

Your attempt to run was intercepted by jeno’s arms.. he catches you and lock you in his arms, you twist and struggle in his hold.. “let me go!”

but your weak fight makes them laugh even more than before ..

“You have been bad sera..” Jeno whispers in your ear..

“Jaemin .. jaemin please!” You plead to him..

but he remains non responsive to your pleads..

“Just go with sera.. it will be much easier “ ..

Jaemin finally spoke, his words shattering you.. Your eye well up with hot tears blurring your vision.. you still in disbelief, haechan turns to open his back bag, reaching for something, You desperately try to free yourself.. when haechan returns with a needle in his hand, you start kicking and screaming..

jeno grabs your left arm and straighten it and Hacehan .. they overpower you and hold you still while Hacehan inserts the needle in your arm emptying it’s contents into your blood stream.. jeno lets you go and the room goes silent except for heavy breathing..

jaemin’s cold eye watch as the horrific scene unfolds..

The hot substance burns through your veins.. your fast heartbeat stumbles as it slows down, your body slowly relaxes and the stress evaporates as warmth takes it’s place..

All of worries and pains start to evaporates.. the room spins around you, limps heaving, eyes loses it’s focus, you collapse but it’s euphoric..

You lay in pleasure you have never felt before.

Everything feels like a lucid dream.. being carried.. rough hands undressing you.. unfamiliar body against your.. “Shh don’t cry” wet mouth kissing your neck.. “Don’t worry.. I’ll be gentle..” whispered in your ear..

you keep falling in a bottomless hole, hours of your life goes missing, faint memories remains to remind you that you will always be the only victim of this war.

#nct yandere #nct mafia au #nct dream yandere #nct reactions #nct imagines #nct scenarios #nct blurbs #nct dream imagines #nct dream scenarios #nct agnst #nct angst

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becomingbts · 3 years

Text

Time heals (sometimes) - Teaser 1

Summary: 6 years ago, (Y/N) thought that she was finally taking her life into her hands, leaving behind a toxic and abusive relationship with a man who taught her she’d never be worthy of love. However, it became hard to ignore his words when she met her seven soulmates who rejected her without even giving her a chance to prove herself. It took (Y/N) 3 years to realize that it wouldn’t be her end. She would live on to prove them all wrong; she would become what they all thought she wasn’t: someone worthy of love. And as she stands proudly on the stage, under the burning spotlights and the applause and the cries of the delirious crowd, she feels alive. Alive, just like the bond she believed to be broken.

Pairings: Y/N x OT7

GENRE: Soulmate AU!, Idol Y/NAU!, semi social-media AU!, ANGST (mainly), fluff, romance, maybe smut in the series.

Ask or comment to be tagged!

Warnings: The series is going to be heavy with a lot of personal experiences mixed into the fiction, so this is going to be kind of therapeutic for me. Please, consider not reading the series if you are not comfortable with: abandonment issues, anxiety, panic attacks, depression, self-harm (not descriptive and only part of MC’s past), suicide thoughts (in the past), toxic behavior, toxic and abusive relationship (in the past), depreciating self-talk and low self-esteem, a lot of curse, physical and mental pain, near death experience situation (in the past), and maybe smut scenes (happy ending though, but it will probably be quite the ride).

NOTE: I was thinking of “Moonchild” and for some reasons, some memories I’d prefer to have forgotten came back to my mind and instead of making a full-blown panic attack like I used to, I thought that it would make a great plot if I mingled that with a soulmate and idol verse and that’s how I started going into it. This is going to be loaded with personal experiences, even if they’ll probably be a bit differently explained compared to what I experienced. Despite the heavy themes and many warnings, I hope you guys will like it. I think I really needed to write it. It will be a semisocial media AU!, because I like the idea of being to write some of their conversations through texts. However, I do plan on fully writing most of it. Though, you’ll have some updates about their social medias as I will update their profiles soon after you see this. I will probably mix a lot of different media for this story such as songs written and produced by myself. I’ll upload for real MC’s EP. So expect a lot for this story. Please take well care, feedback is always very warmly welcomed, it helps me to write for real. If you need to talk to someone, my dms are always opened and if you really don’t feel well, please call urgency numbers.

Thank you for reading,

-Dolly

"And we will close our night show with the most awaited segment! The audience jumped during the commercial break, it's amazing how many people just joined us! Welcome to our interview segment and especially, welcome and thank you so much for being with us Moon!”

"Of course, thank you for having me on your radio show."

"Thank you for coming! I have to mention that this is your very first interview with another media than your usual personal platforms like Vlive, YouTube, or Instagram, so we are honored to be the first ones to greet you! Do you plan on making more activities outside your personal schedule for the promotion of your new album?"

"If I may be honest, not really. I'm the most comfortable in my own safe zone and I tend to try not to get out of it too often. It might close some doors to me but I'm comfortable with my fans that way. However, I often listen to this radio show and a lot of my fans were enthusiastic about that so I thought: why not."

"Ah, thank you so much, it means a lot! Your fans are indeed a strong community and they support you whether you go to TV shows or not. Besides, you've been a very active artist on social media and your whole career started on YouTube and SoundCloud before you signed to your current agency. We have to congratulate you on your journey! It's barely been two years but here you are, with your second EP 'People'! Congratulations on the release!"

"Thank you very much."

“For our listeners who might not know who Moon is, I’m going to introduce her to you: Moon, your real name is (Y/N), you were born on August 4th, 1998, Incheon and your mother was American so you pursued your studies in America. You have been taking online classes since the start of your career at the HULT, university of Florida, and even recently got your Business Bachelor, now aiming for a Ph.D. You started your journey on Youtube, uploading covers and vlogs until you finally started producing your own songs, releasing them on Soundcloud. You started gaining a lot of followers; thus, you started on other social media such as Twitter or Instagram. One year ago, you release your first EP called ‘BALANCE’ which is the reason why the music label BigHit reached to you and asked you if you wanted to sign with them. Did I get everything right?”

“You are. It feels like you know my life better than I do.”

"Ah not at all, but thank you, I am glad that I didn’t say something wrong! Would you mind sharing the concept of this EP? Many of your fans probably already know but maybe some of our daily listeners might not!"

"Of course. As you said, 'People' is my second EP, yet the first to be studio recorded. Signing with BigHit is a big step in my career and it created a lot of changes, hence I decided to focus on the people I have met, stayed with, became close to, or detached myself from… This is dedicated to the people who changed my life, whether they intended to or not. It could be interpreted as my social life diary in a way."

"I see, many of your fans have said that the album held a very distinct duality, with a bright and a much darker side that made quite the storm on social media. ‘Y/N our Moon’ and ‘MOONISBACK’ trended for a few nights on Twitter. Do you have anything you'd like to say about that?"

"I guess it was a surprise because this mini-album is really raw and uncensored. I didn't try to sugarcoat it nor to romanticize my experiences. I hope it brings comfort to people who haven't been feeling well. Because I think that it’s always easy to say that it's going to be okay to someone who’s not feeling well. Everything doesn’t suddenly become okay. And it's fine to be hurting, you can learn to live with this pain and move on while still hoping for better days. There is no end to hopes, and this is why my EP has a brighter side to it. Not everything is always a vast cold ocean. Sometimes, there are small or big waves that come crashing into our universe and they form something that we couldn't have imagined. They bring a little piece of sunshine in life and it helps to move on. So I hope that people who are struggling know that, despite how insignificant I might be, there is a person that understands and can relate to their struggles. I hope it can comfort them, even just slightly, to know that they are not alone."

"That's a beautiful way to put it."

"Ah, thank you."

"I have to ask because I'm really curious and I’m definitely not the only one: a lot of your fans have been theorizing about who could your title track ‘TIME’ be about? I have to ask you on the behalf of everyone. Is it okay for me to break the mystery?"

"Time is a track that shouldn’t have made it to the EP. It’s a bit like a fit of personal anger that I didn’t know I needed to let out.”

“Your anger was definitely heard and understood. People have been curious about the addressee of the song especially because of the line ‘maybe it’s time I finally let go of you’. So can you tell us who is it about?”

“Uh...Time was written for my seven soulmates who rejected me years ago."

"Seven!?"

"Yeah, it's a lot I know.”

“Is that why you have covered your soul mark with this tattoo on your arm? Netizens talked about it a lot; normally idols tend to cover their arm from the public eyes to avoid for their soulmates’ names to be known, but instead, you were proudly showing your tattooed arm, fully covering what might be under the ink. Many people assumed that it meant that you didn’t have a soulmate at all.”

“Well, I decided to cover the mark because there was no reason for me to keep it without hurting myself. I decided that I have been hurt enough to let myself take a rest. I didn’t see the point in hiding my arm either, I’m proud of my tattoo, I mean; it’s really a beautiful piece in my opinion. But to answer the assumptions, I don’t consider that I have soulmates anymore, hence why the tattoo as well."

"This is really a heartbreaking story, it must have been extremely hard. Breaking a soul bond is immensely dangerous, my link with my husband already itches when I spend the day away from him, so seven soul bonds? It must have been terrible."

"It was, but the most important is where I am now. I'm not lingering on that anymore because they made their choices and I thus made mine. I just hope that they all are healthy and happy where they are."

"I have to say I'm really impressed (Y/N)-shi, you really have a delicate and caring soul. I probably wouldn't be able to have such soft words about your soulmates had I been in your shoes."

"I think living the actual experience made me reflect on myself a lot. I'm comfortable where I am now, I'm able to do music and make what I love. I have nothing to complain about, I'm surrounded by lovely and supportive fans, I have the best manager I could have ever hoped for and a warm and healthy family. I don't need more on my side."

"I'm glad you are happy then. Many of your fans have pointed out it's really hard to make you smile and some wonder if you are happy, especially after the release of ‘TIME’, I don’t blame some of your fans for being worried."

"Ahhh, is smiling the only way to prove that we are happy? I believe my words are usually a bit more impactful than my facial expressions. I have to admit that I don't often smile, it's not a bad thing, at least I don't think so, but I just don't feel the need to smile when I don’t feel like it. Besides, I get shy easily when I expose my emotions too much."

"It's hard to imagine you being shy but at the same time now that I have you in front of me, our listeners cannot see you, but I definitely feel that you have a very shy and reserved aura despite the energy you give off when you are on stage. It’s not unfriendly either, but you’re just very soft-spoken and quiet in everything you do. Like when you came in, I barely heard you entering at all; you’re just silently making your way without a fuss, it’s really endearing, to be honest."

"Ah... I’ve been told that my stage persona and the ‘me’ in real life were two different entities but I don’t really think it’s true. I'm extremely introverted and it doesn't really mix well with the stage. So I just put it on the side for the people who came to see me and deserve to see more than a 24 years old woman who has troubles speaking without stuttering in front of other people."

"You stutter when you have to speak in front of other people?"

"Sometimes it happens when I’m nervous, and I’m very often nervous. Like right now, I’m extremely nervous. But it's something I'm working on."

"Well it's definitely paying off because I couldn't sense that you were nervous at all, just very calm and soft, but I wouldn’t be able to imagine you being nervous enough to stutter."

"A lot of artists actually have stage fright, most of them just don't want to admit it because it doesn't sound sexy when you tell your fans you're actually shaking before going up there for the show."

"This is very true, but it's refreshing to hear it from someone who actually lives through that rather than fan theories."

"That's understandable."

"Our time is coming to the end, do you have anything you would like to add before we sadly get our mics taken away?"

"Oh uhm, everyone, my new mini-album 'People' came out very recently and yet it already received a lot of love so I want to thank you for that. This EP was a very personal project and I was worried about how it would be welcomed but you all made me realize that I have nothing to fear because we'll always find someone who can relate to our stories. As long as I can help even one person with my songs, then it's enough for me. Thank you for listening to me and my voice. I hope we'll be able to meet soon. Love you my fans and non-fans as well, please take well care of yourselves in those times. Be careful and stay safe. Wear your mask!"

“Thank you so much Moon for being with us tonight. Our time was short but I really enjoyed it, I hope our listeners were able to feel that very warm presence of yours through the mic. ‘Give Me A Song’ of Moon’s EP ‘People’ will now be playing and we will see each other tomorrow night with IU for the release of her new album LILAC. Take care!”

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Uploaded : 08/04/2021

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to-hell-and-beyond · 3 years

Text

“We’ll Figure This Out”

Eli “Hawk” Moskowitz x Female Reader

Requested: Yes : No

Request: Hi! I adore your writing, and I was hoping that maybe you could do a hawk x depressed! Self harm! Reader? Using numbers 1 and 10 from your fluff prompts? Take your time, and if you dont thats totally ok! Remember to take care of yourself, I know writing can take a lot of time and energy, so please eat something and drink some water! Keep writing, youre amazing❤❤ - @bubbleteabubs

Not gonna lie this was a hard one to write. As someone who is struggling with Anxiety and someone who has had close family members deal with depression, it brought back a lot of unwanted memories. I tried not to romanticize this at all and truly show what its like. (Its not good). But thank you for requesting and thank you so much. You all take care too!

Summary: You’ve been having “Moods” on and off for a while now and there starting to worry Hawk. After he comes to visits you and sees how much pain you truly are in, he wants to help you as much as he can.

Words: 925

TRIGGER WARNING!!!

This work includes details of self harm and depression. If you ever need anyone to talk to I’m here and please be safe and don't hurt yourself. I love and care for you all!

Hawk waited patiently as he knocked on your door. Your favourite flowers were in his hand (if you don’t like flowers, your favourite snack or such) as he waited and waited. He tapped his foot as he checked the time here and then. You didn't have work so you should be home right? And besides, your sister was also home. Suddenly the door flew open and there stood your sister.

“Hey Y/s/n, is Y/n home?” He asked as he shifted his position to stand more straight. It was important to him that your family also liked him. He knew how much they meant to you.

“She’s in one of her “moods”.” You sister replied which made him frown. You’ve been having these “moods” on and off for a while now. He was worried for you but you kept brushing it off. It was just normal emotions right?

“Well can I see her?’

“She locked herself in the bathroom but it's worth the try. Knock yourself out”

He frowned again at the mention of you being locked away in your bathroom but ever so he followed you sister inside. Your house was exactly like it had been the numerous times he had been invited inside. Your room was right around the end of the hallway near the kitchen. He thanked you sister for letting him in and traveled to your bathroom near your room.

Your parents had decided when you and your sister were at a young age that it was beneficial for the two of you to share a bathroom with each other. You didn't complain much seeing as it felt normal for you. Of course your sister didn't like it because you would alway lock yourself in it when you go into one of your “moods.”

“Y/n?” Hawk asked gently as he tapped on your bathroom door. He was upset when he didn't get a response from you but noticed that the lock on the bathroom wasn’t fully locked. That meant he could go in if he wanted to. Of course he didn't want to go against your wishes but he wanted to make sure that you were ok. You were his everything and you mattered so much to him.

“I’m coming in ok Babe?” He gently twisted the rock and opened the door. He was shocked to say the least when he saw what laid beyond the white door. You were sitting on the toilet seat wearing one of his hoodies. It was his favorite red one that you would always try to steal from him. You were crying softly as you fiddled with the ends of his sleeves. There was rushing water in the sink and some of it had spilled onto the floor making it slippery. He noticed the droplets of blood on the floor. He began to think that you may have gotten your period until he saw the razor beside you and cuts on your arms.

His breathing slowed as he put the pieces together in his head. You were crying in the bathroom with blood on the floor and a razor beside you. What the hell had happened? You noticed him and began to choke back sobs.

“Please don’t come near me. *sob* I’m a freak and you don't wanna be near me. I-I’m so s-sorry” You choked out as you began to cry harder and harder. Although you were in a state of pain he didn't want to go against your wishes.

“You’re not a freak Y/n.” He said softly as he tried to approach you without making you feel uncomfortable.

“Yes I am.” You sobbed as you looked up at him. He noticed the pain in your eyes and felt his heart break into a million pieces in his chest. “Normal people don't hurt themselves to feel something Hawk! They have fucking emotions! I don’t! I’m a piece of heartless trash living like a freaking zombie. I-I-” He conferred you and he rubbed soft circles on your back.

“I’m not going to leave you. You’re never going to have to suffer by yourself again, come here.” You sobbed in his chest as you felt all of your emotions pour out. Your depression had been a build up and he felt bad for not noticing. It wasn’t like you woke up one day and just decided to be like this. You’ve been hurting for a long while for a number of reasons and he was terrified that he never noticed sooner.

“I-I just want all of this pain to be gone!” You felt your breathing entiencify and your chest move up and down at a quicker rate. Hawk kissed your forehead hoeping to help you as you experienced the pain in your heart.

“If I could, I would kiss away all of your scars.” He said as you breathing slowed down. You were finally able to catch your breath and you leaned into his arms. Part of you felt grounded and safe like not even your own mind could touch you now. Not with his arms around you.

“You're going to be ok Y/n. I’ll take you to one of those fancy doctors Miguel was talking about. They will know how to help you. We’ll figure this out Y/n.” He promised you as the two of you sat in your bathroom holding onto each other. It was going to be a hard and long recovery but the two of you would get through it. You loved each other too much.

#eli moskowitz #eli moskowitz x reader #Hawk #hawk imagine #hawk x reader #hawk cobra kai #hawk x you #hawk x y/n #miguel diaz #Cobra Kai #sensitive topics

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hanniesdegree · 3 years

Text

Our Day to Day | KNJ

photo from baepsaaee

pairing: namjoon x poet! reader

prompt: slice of life; scenes of your day to day with namjoon, talking about anything and everything

genre: fluff

word count: 840

There was no answer when you knocked on the door, so you enter. He was slumped with laser-sharp eyes towards the audio software. You tap on his shoulder gently, then slowly move your hands towards his temples to massage his head.

"Hey," you begin softly, "you've been here a while. Can I get you anything?"

He lets out a deep sigh. You can tell how stress he is. "No, I'm good. But can you listen to this verse? I think something's missing, although I'm not sure what it is."

"I will, but only after you go with me outside." He was about to protest when you cut him off, "I know you have your deadlines, but I need you to see the sun once in a while, okay?"

He doesn't answer. You push further, "Come on, it's autumn."

He relents. A little quicker this time, you note. Maybe he knew deep inside that he could use some fresh air. "Where to?"

You were not sure where you wanted to go, you just wanted to walk with him. You exchanged a few words, opting to immerse yourself in the surroundings instead.

You found yourself at the neighbourhood park and were pleasantly greeted by a calming mix of greens, oranges, and yellows.

He stops walking for a moment. You look at him, waiting. He probably noticed something, you thought.

He hums in fascination, "leaves are falling."

II.

"Don't you think it's quite amazing how the moon, as unassuming as it is, gives people refuge?" You think out loud. "Like I'm thinking about it, right? It's just one moon, nothing too special. But countless people have seen it and thought of something. Maybe a memory or something poetic."

"I don't know," you're struggling to find words, "but isn't it just amazing how we just associate the moon with so much meaning?"

He nods as he sits beside you on the terrace. "Yes, but nature in general, too, right? Whether it's mountains, rivers, parks, or the changing of the seasons. We put meaning in these things."

"I wonder why, but I mean, I do them too--putting meaning into things. I guess it's both our jobs to overthink things." You laugh softly.

He engages further into the conversation. "I find it interesting, though. These seemingly trivial things, sure, they look the same to everyone, but they have been tagged with different meanings by all who've seen them. It's quite comforting to think about, actually. It just feels so inherently human."

III.

There is a fond smile that greets your face when you open the website.

"Namjoon-ah, you wouldn't believe this"

"Hmm, what's up?"

You show him your phone, "I found my angsty poetry blog from high school and it's so fascinating"

He sits up properly against the headboard. "Oh my god, let's read everything"

"Okay, so the latest one says:"

'Last week, I visited my old school. It was nice to revisit the place where I spent most of my life in. I don’t know if I’ve romanticized it by now, but everything feels so untainted to me. It existed before so much happened. I was still happy then.

I keep thinking about her. Who she was. What made her happy. If she would have been proud of me. If she would have recognized me. I feel so disconnected and so different from her. I think she wanted to be a doctor. She was good at science. She smiled a lot. The only thing that made her cry so much was her graduation day because leaving is painful. It still is.

I’m leaving again soon. I wonder if she would have wanted me to stay.'

"I actually like that, it's introspective" he comments.

"Yeah, I kind of remember where I was in life when I wrote this," you say. "It's nice to reminisce now, but that was a hard time."

He holds your hand, "Yeah, it must have been a lot," he softly brushes his fingers in comfort, "but I'm really thankful you got through it and you're here now."

"Yeah, I'm here now."

"Read more," he nudges as if to tease.

"Okay, there's actually a prompt for this one, which was 'where does your sorrow go when you find yourself completely alone?'" you explain, "I think it's a line from a song."

it goes to you

whoever you are

wherever you may be

like elias

who owes his sorrow

to his home

home is where the sorrow is

don't you think so?

and i just keep on

coming back

to you

and i just keep on

coming home

to you

"Home is where the sorrow is, huh?" he hums, "what does that make me, then?"

"Well, if we're going by my high school self, I guess you're my sorrow."

He gasps as if he was accused "Why would you say that? I'm sad now. I guess you're my sorrow, too."

"Well, you're my sorrow because I miss you all the time, but you're my happiness as well," you explain thoroughly, "you're my everything."

"You're my home."

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irondadfics · 4 years

Note

Hey! Any fics where Peter is insecure about his relationship/thinks Tony doesn’t want to be around him or is embarrassed of him?

INSECURE!PETER REC LIST

Been awhile since we did a rec list! In this list we feature fics where Peter questions his role in Tony’s life for various reasons. ENJOY LOVELIES!!

And if you need a friend, then please just say the word by frostysunflowers @frostysunflowers

“Three cracked ribs, a broken wrist and a heavy blow to the head, along with multiple cuts and bruises.Not so bad as Spider-Man injuries go.So why is he driving like an absolute maniac towards the tower (a hastily repurchased tower to stand in place of the decimated compound) with a roiling churn of something bitter and painful in his stomach.Because before, Peter would always call him. Always.This time though…The kid called Happy instead.”

Delicate by Bean_reads_fanfic @the-reverse-mermaid

It starts here: Peter, in his Spider-Man suit minus the mask, caught deer-in-the-headlights-style in front of a person he’s never met before in the kitchen of his and May’s apartment.“You’re, uh, what’s-his-name –” The guy coughs a bit, swallowing. He points at Peter, his voice getting higher as he goes: “P – uh – Peter, right? You’re – you’re Spider-man?!”…One unfortunate encounter starts a chain of frustrating events; in the process of which, Peter’s insecurities are examined. Including but not limited to: his worries that Tony cares about Spider-Man more than Peter Parker.

Alone by Lost_And_Longing

Alone. Yes, that’s the key word, the most awful word in the English tongue. Murder doesn’t hold a candle to it and hell is only a poor synonym.- Stephen KingAfter four months with no contact between him and Mr. Stark, Peter finally comes to a conclusion he should have come to much, much earlier.Basically, Peter has depression. And no, not the romanticized version.

Learned to lose you, can’t afford to. by ironspidereilish

Peter Parker’s biggest fear is that everyone he loves dies, so when one of Tony’s jokes hits a little too close to home, Peter tries to distance himself from his father-figure/mentor/hero. Unfortunately, a mission going wrong and landing him in the Tower’s med-bay means he has nowhere to hide when Tony asks him what’s wrong.————————————“Jesus, kid, you’re gonna send me to an early grave,” the billionaire joked, still massaging his temples with his eyes closed. Because of this, Tony never saw how quickly Peter’s face paled as he stumbled back a few steps in dreaded realisation. The older man never saw the absolute terror in the boy’s eyes- eyes that were suddenly glistening with tears- caused by his thoughtless words.—————-(now with a cute epilogue, too!)

Memories by radioactive_storm @mala-sadas

When Tony snapped his fingers and saved the universe, there were consequences. Instead of losing his life, he lost an arm…and his memories. And Peter Parker may be the only person who can help him get them back.

Porcelain by macabre

She constantly calls Tony a child of excess and Peter a child of absence. It makes Tony cringe every time. “He’s not used to having all of these things, and the things that he was offered in previous foster situations came at a price. You know this. Just be careful.”

Becoming Belonging by sahiya

Peter barely remembered the week after he came back, five years and two minutes after dying on Titan. But he did remember this: looking at Morgan Stark and feeling––to his immediate shame––wildly, insanely jealous that Morgan had had those five years with Tony and Peter hadn’t.

Sunlight by ArdenSkyeHolmes221 @ardenskyedarcy221b

“Stop pouting and ignoring me. You’re giving me a complex.”“I am— I’m not pouting,” he sputters, avoiding his father’s gaze.“Oooh, but you are ignoring me.”***Or the one where Peter struggles reintegrating in his own life after his dad lived five years without him.

What We Lose in the Fire We Gain in the Flood by xxx_cat_xxx @xxx-cat-xxx

The universe is saved, Thanos is defeated, the Vanished are returned, and Tony has survived (though with severe radiation burns and one less arm). Everything should be good now - except that it isn’t.While Tony embarks on a painful and frustrating recovery, he wrestles with the fear that he’s no longer capable of caring for his family. Meanwhile, Peter tries to find his place in a world that just doesn’t feel like his own anymore.

From now on by peterparkr @peterparkrr

Peter’s fixating on the tie.It’s red. Hot rod red, Tony said. It doesn’t look right. Maybe it’s too long. Tony said it looked fine in the store. It doesn’t look like it had that day anymore. Peter can’t stop fiddling with it.ORPeter's sure that Tony and Pepper's wedding will change everything

I wouldn’t drink that if I were you, kid by Lequia

In which Peter Parker feels abandoned, Tony Stark manages to screw things up even more, and DUM-E may or may not have found another fire extinguisher.

breathe by ciaconnaa @ciaconnaa

Morgan looks mortified. “What? No!” she exclaims, holding out her hand against Peter’s chest. “You can’t kill a spider.”Peter frowns, brow furrowed. He’s not spent a lot of time around kids, ever, but he’s never met one that actually likes spiders. Hell, he hasn’t met anyone who likes spiders. Peter himself doesn’t even like spiders, and a spider is the one that gave him a six pack. “Huh?”“They're good luck! Don't you know?”He's not sure he does.(canon-compliant, post endgame)

A Heart Grows (With More People To Love) by josywbu

When there's a newborn Stark on the horizon Peter starts to question his place in the family he has come to view as his own.Good thing Tony has an abundance of parenting books at his disposal and knows exactly (kind of) what to do.

A Tremendous Thing by ExpectoPatronum

“Daddy's read this to me hundreds of times,” Morgan confesses around a yawn, snuggling closer until she can see the first illustration clearly, “but he accidentally ripped out the ending, so it doesn’t have any pictures.”Startled, Peter flips ahead to the last chapters of the book -- sure enough, the final two chapters are missing. “Are you sure you want to read this one?”By the time Tony checks in on the pair of them, Wilbur is beginning to feel lonely in his pen, Peter’s arm is full of pins-and-needles and Morgan is fast asleep.——Peter spends Father's Day at the lake house. He tries not to overthink it.

#fic rec list #insecure!peter

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refinedbuffoonery · 3 years

Text

Flawless (6)

masterlist.

Content Warning: swearing, violence, sex, PTSD

Not gonna lie, this is a bit of a filler chapter. But the NEXT chapter...that’s the one you’ve all been waiting for. Also, I’ve had “bad guy” by Billie Eilish stuck in my head for DAYS, so that’s the song playing during the runway show.

*****

A week after the job at the director’s house, Riley sank into her first-class airplane seat and immediately opened her laptop, the tan pleather chair squeaking slightly as she crossed her legs beneath her. Dimming the brightness, Riley angled her laptop so no one could see it but her. She’d been profiled plenty of times in the past while writing perfectly benevolent code. Riley certainly didn’t need anyone catching her working on something more nefarious.

If she did this right, then she’d be able to just connect her phone to whatever Louvre computer that controlled security and be free to do whatever she wanted.

If she didn’t...she’d need to brush up on her French.

Nikki dozed in the seat beside her. She’d been bouncing off the walls all morning in anticipation of getting to see Fashion Week in person after Riley had promised to go with her to as many fashion shows as they could sneak into. Nikki’s excitement was infectious. While the priority was to see the runway show of the designer whose Louvre afterparty they were crashing, before they boarded the flight, Riley found herself sifting through fashion blogs to determine which other shows she wanted to see. All couture, of course.

Across the aisle, Jill had her nose buried in an incredibly thick book Riley couldn’t see the cover of, and behind her, Cage and Desi curled together like a human pretzel as they watched a movie. They were disgustingly happy, and that made Riley happy too.

When they were somewhere over the middle of the Atlantic, Nikki awoke, grumbling, “You’re going to ruin your eyes if you stare at that screen any longer.” She was right. Riley’s vision had started to blur at the edges hours ago, and she knew she’d have a hard time focusing on things in the distance when she finally looked up. Riley saved her work and shut her laptop.

Nikki still hadn’t budged from her awkward curled position, but her eyes were open. Riley figured now was as good of a time as any to make Nikki answer her last lingering question. “So you still haven’t told me why you and your boyfriend broke up,” she probed. “You know, the one who hacks everything else.”

Nikki sighed, rolling her head to glare at Riley. “Do I have to tell you?”

“Yes.”

“Fine.” Nikki sat up. “When we met, he told me he worked for a government think tank. Really nerdy stuff, does a lot of consulting. I figured he was smart but harmless.”

“I remember.”

“That was a lie. He’s a government agent, all right. But not the nerd kind. The double-O-seven kind.”

Riley nearly choked. “A spy?” she hissed. “You dated a fucking spy?”

“Surprise.”

“How did you find out?”

“The same way he found out about me. I originally told him I was a freelance art appraiser”—not far from the truth, actually— “and the IT job was to help make ends meet. We both bought each others’ lies at first, but over time we both struggled to keep our stories straight. And then one day it all just...fell into place, I guess. We had a massive fight, and by the time the dust settled, I think we both knew there was no going back to how things were before we knew the truth.”

Riley laced her fingers through Nikki’s, conveying her empathy through touch rather than words. “What agency does he work for?”

“The Phoenix Foundation.”

“What the fuck is that?”

“It’s DXS. The name changed while you were gone.” At least Nikki couldn’t still say the P-word either. But DXS...DXS could move Christmas. If Nikki’s boyfriend told anyone about her real job, they were all in trouble. Big trouble.

“Think he’s going to come after you? Come after us?”

“I don’t know.”

Trying to lighten the mood, Riley said, “Ignoring the part where he knows you’re a criminal, it must’ve been pretty cool to date a real-life black-ops spy. I bet he knew all kinds of tricks.” The innuendo easily rolled off Riley’s tongue.

Nikki smacked her shoulder. “We were having a nice moment and you had to go and ruin it by being gross. What the fuck, dude?”

Riley rolled her eyes. “Love you too.” And she did. Despite the grudge she may or may not be holding, Riley loved her. She never stopped.

*****

They landed in Paris at night, and the Five Eyes crashed the moment they made it to their swanky, overpriced hotel room. The next day, they bounced around the city attending as many runway shows as traffic allowed. Riley didn’t understand the hubbub and overdone romanticism; Paris was just like any other major city—loud and overcrowded. And snobby. So very snobby.

On their second day in Paris, the women chose to divide and conquer. Desi, Cage, and Jill teamed up to scope out the Louvre. Riley and Nikki attended the runway show of the designer whose masterpiece they intended to steal.

As she and Nikki found their seats along the runway, Riley made a mental note of all the exits. Their seats were in the back, against a wall. Nikki hoped for a better view, but Riley liked it better this way. Sitting by a wall, she had something solid behind her and could see everyone come and go without having to turn around. Riley had always kept meticulous tabs on her surroundings—that’s what made her so good at her job—but the fear of not being able to see what’s coming was new.

She didn’t tell Nikki about it.

The blonde blended right in with the highly fashionable crowd, wearing a floor-length, gray plaid coat with hot pink lining. Nikki was completely in her element here, and sometimes Riley thought her friend would’ve been better off legitimately pursuing a career in fashion rather than letting Riley drag her into the world of shadows, secrets, and cons.

While they waited, Riley fidgeted with a button on her black blazer. Her whole outfit was the same shade of her signature color—blouse, blazer, leather leggings. But her boots were the real showstopper—thigh-high black suede with intricate gold embroidery down the entire front. Riley saw them in a window yesterday and had immediately gone inside to purchase them. The boots were outrageously expensive, but it didn’t matter. Riley Davis was already a filthy rich woman, and after this job, she’d have more money than she would ever know what to do with.

The house music quieted, and the designer—older man, favored his left leg, voice thin and raspy like a smoker—strutted down the runway, microphone in hand, welcoming the audience and beginning the show. He rambled on, ruminating over his inspiration for this collection. Nikki hung on every word. Riley tuned him out.

So this was the man who was renting out the Louvre. Riley couldn’t even imagine the amount of money and favors it took to secure such an ostentatious party venue.

What she could imagine, however, was that she’d surely be subjected to yet another one of these long-winded speeches at the afterparty tonight. On the bright side, that would buy her and her team extra time, making the job that much easier.

The show began with a sweep of the lights as the music dropped to a low, pulsing beat Riley could feel just as much as she could hear. The crowd murmured respectfully as the first model appeared wearing a shiny black gown that looked like a trash bag had been melted to her body with the excess pooling on the floor. She told Nikki as much, earning an eye roll.

The next gown was better—sheer fabric with countless thin, metallic gold vertical stripes. The skirt had pretty lines, giving the model the illusion of curves she didn’t have. After that was a strapless canary yellow ball gown with a full, pillowy train.

“I don’t understand why designers keep making yellow clothes,” Riley hissed. “No one looks good in yellow.”

“That model does.”

“No one looks good in yellow.”

Nikki twisted in her seat and glared, which Riley ignored. “Are you going to say anything nice?”

“You’d miss my commentary if I stopped.” Riley’s snide comment earned her an elbow to the ribs, but she caught Nikki’s smile all the same.

The next gown was cherry red satin, with huge ruffles on one shoulder and the opposite hip. The extra fabric was a lot, but there was something elegant about the gown nonetheless.

Leanna would look good in that one, Riley stopped herself from saying aloud. Nikki—nor anyone else, for that matter—hadn’t said another word about Leanna since Riley first asked weeks ago. Suddenly their longtime friend was taboo, and Riley didn’t want to disrupt the tentative peace she had with Nikki just to push for answers she probably wouldn’t get.

Another ugly gown, this one feathery pink with a sort of netting over top.

But the last one...the last one caught the eye of every single person in the audience.

Including Riley.

The sheer dress was covered in intricate silver beading that accentuated its long sleeves and mermaid silhouette and left little to the imagination. It was the kind of show-stopping gown one wore when they wanted to be the center of attention.

Despite the audience’s rising hum of approval, Riley still heard Nikki murmur, “That one is all you.” And it was. Riley would wear that gown in a heartbeat if she had the opportunity—too bad most jobs required her to blend in, not stand out.

She was too busy lusting after the gown to respond.

From her seat, Riley could just see into the wings, and she spotted who could only be the designer’s assistant, running the show behind the scenes. Even from a distance, Riley had a feeling the young woman’s hawk-like gaze missed absolutely nothing. The designer would be easy enough to bamboozle during the heist, but this woman could very likely become a problem.

Riley committed the assistant’s appearance to memory and set the thought aside for later.

*****

Later that afternoon, the Five Eyes reconvened in their hotel suite. They still had a couple hours until they needed to get ready for the afterparty. Since only Cage and Nikki had been there before, Desi, Cage, and Jill had spent the day scouting the Louvre. It was good for Jill to work with Desi for a change; because of her military background, Desi’s way of thinking through a job diverged greatly from everyone else’s.

Team meetings like this were one of Riley’s favorite parts of the job—swapping intel and strategizing the best way to pull off the job. Or the most fun way, which was usually also the riskiest. But tonight, the team was in unspoken agreement that they would play it safe, both because of Jill and the importance of this long-awaited job.

Piled onto one plush, king-sized bed, the five women sat tangled together as they tore through the box of pastries Riley purchased on the way back to the hotel. For the first time in forever, Riley was hungry. She avoided dwelling on that fact as she licked her fingers and picked up stray crumbs that fell on the off-white comforter.

“So, what did you learn?” Nikki quizzed Jill.

Jill pushed up her glasses with her middle finger, speaking with her mouth full. “The room the party will be in is super fancy and at the far corner of the building.” She swallowed. “First floor.”

“Good. What else?” Riley prompted. “How do Nikki or I get to security and the building’s system control?”

“There’s an employee door in the hallway…” Jill trailed off. “Wait. This is a test, isn’t it? You already know.”

Riley smirked. “I do.”

Disbelief etched Jill’s face. “How? You told me yourself that you’ve never been there!”

“I have my ways.” Riley would tell her eventually, but for now, it was more fun to lure trade secrets over Jill’s head. She reached for another buttery pastry, selecting one topped with slivered almonds.

But before Riley could continue her taunting, Desi spoke up. “There’s something you should know.” The mood plummeted into seriousness.

Riley and Nikki both raised their eyebrows. Go on.

“Nikki’s ex was at the museum.”

“Which one?” Nikki asked cautiously. Riley could hear the dread in her tone, the same dread that churned in her own stomach.

“You know which one.”

Riley swore. Nikki’s ex, the spy, was at the Louvre. “Did he see you?”

Cage answered, “We have to assume he did. And we also have to assume he recognized Desi and me as Nikki’s friends.” Riley set her pastry down, no longer hungry as the heist of her dreams started to crumble before her eyes. She refused to let that happen.

“He was with a middle-aged man who definitely had a gun tucked into his belt,” Desi said. “Based on that and his haircut, I’d say he’s probably ex-military.”

“Mac is too.” Tucking her knees to her chest, Nikki’s voice was uncharacteristically small as she spoke. Defeat wormed its way across her features. Nikki thought they couldn’t pull off the job now, Riley realized.

No way. She wouldn’t let one stupid ex-boyfriend get in the way of her dream job. And her grossly large payday.

“It’ll be fine,” Riley reassured. “He knows you’re into fashion, right?” Nikki nodded. “Then he has to assume you’re there for innocent, legitimate reasons. Innocent until proven guilty, remember? All we have to do is avoid looking suspicious, which we already do anyway. He won’t have any evidence to pin it on us besides a hunch, and even if he shares that hunch, he’ll get in trouble for not disclosing information about you and your relationship sooner.”

Jill said, “That seems overly optimistic.”

“Which one of us is the expert?” Riley snapped. Jill flinched, and the other three watched Riley warily. “Sorry,” she grumbled.

The tension only somewhat dissipated.

“Anyway,” Riley redirected. “We picked up the replicas.” She gestured to Nikki’s Balenciaga bag sitting open on a nearby chair.

“Replicas?” Riley fought the urge to sigh at Jill and her constant questions.

“What did you think we were going to do? Just take the jewelry and run like hell?”

Jill’s silence was a resounding yes.

“Pickpocketing 101. What did I tell you?”

Understanding dawned in Jill’s wide, blue eyes. “When you steal something heavy, put something else in its place.” A pause. “We’re going to replace the jewelry with fakes so no one even realizes the real set is missing.”

It was Cage’s turn to smirk. “She’s catching on.” The blonde leaned in. “So, can we see them?”

Nikki was off the bed in an instant, retrieving a package wrapped in plain brown paper from her purse. She let Cage have the honor of unwrapping it and revealing the masterfully crafted jewels.

The faux-sapphire and diamond necklace and earrings were stunning. And exact replicas of the real set. The only difference was a tiny, insignificant bump Nikki’s jeweler added to the back of each piece so they could quickly tell the difference between the replicas and the real deal.

Desi whistled. “Damn. Those are stunning.” Beside her, Cage nodded appreciatively. “You would look so hot wearing those,” Desi murmured to her girlfriend. “Wearing only those.”

Blushing furiously, Cage shoved her girlfriend off the bed.

Riley knew that if she let them, her friends would spend hours examining the jewels. Clearing her throat to get everyone’s attention, she asked, “Everyone clear on the plan?”

The four other women nodded in turn, first Desi, then Nikki, then Cage, and finally Jill.

“Good.”

“That’s it?” Jill questioned. “No team pep talk?” The other women chuckled, but Riley just rolled her eyes.

“That one,” Desi pointed at Riley, “is the wrong person to ask for a pep talk.”

Riley’s jaw dropped in mock outrage. “Hey! Speak for yourself.” Desi shrugged. Directing her attention back to Jill, “You really want a pep talk?”

Jill blinked.

“Don’t fuck this up.”

~ Tag List ~ Want to be added? Send me an ask.

@macrileyedits / @hellishrose / @incorret-macgyver-quotes / @mylifequotesshowallofthem / @thecarrieonokay

#beth writes #flawless au #macgyver #riley davis #nikki carpenter #desiree nguyen #samantha cage #jill morgan #macgyver fanfiction

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stardustdates · 3 years

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The lonely angel and the beast - Douma x reader

Scarstardust’s comment 1: aah I am so obsessed with Douma currently TwT I wish I had been here for him :( this is more of a fic than anything so I used she/her instead of you! Tho it’s very sad- please proceed with caution. Douma isn’t the villain in this btw!

Stardust’s comment 2: Honestly I even think this is the most fucked up pieces I’ve ever written.

Stardust’s comment 3: Just finished writing. I feel terrible, but I’m proud of my writing, I promise I’ll offer you all Douma fluff after that-

TW: dark topics, c//lt, s//lf h//rm, violence, mentions and detail of human s//crifice, ab//se of minor and adult. Reader discretion is advised. This is purely fiction and should not be romanticized or seen in a positive light.

Let the date the sacrifice begin.

A lonely angel. That’s what the leader of the Scarlet church was defined as. While the world saw her as a symbol of purity she could only notice her own tainted soul.

The members of the church often wondered why so much of her time was spent in the bathroom. Perhaps she really cared for her appearance or just craved the tranquility that she barely ever had. None of it. She was purely trying to scrub away her follower’s sins from her body. scrubbing her skin over and over again as she reopened the scars on her arm.

She was a symbol of purity thus humans wanted to cleanse themselves through her blood and that’s how her mentor started the habit of the ceremony drinks. Each follower would be graced with a cup of wine mixed to a few drops of the young girl’s blood.

Yet once again she was called to hear more of the sins committed by followers. Expected to reply to all of them with kindness. She was escorted to her confessional room where she found herself hidden away by thick curtains, a way to give the confessing sinner a sense of anonymity.

As she heard shuffling in the room she was waiting for another adult to alter her innocent child mind with a gruesome story for she was the messiah and god would speak to her. But she was met with the soft, monotone voice of a child.

“-Is anyone here? No emotion was carried in the kid’s tone.

-I am, dear lamb. She muttered, hearing a soft sigh on the other side of the crimson curtain.

-Hello. -The voice started again- I come to you today to confide in you sins I could not forget, for you see my parents have died, I lead followers equal to yours, yet I feel but void. I am much scared of becoming a beast.”

The slow breath of the boy could be heard through the curtain. Oh Lord knew (Y/N) wanted a peak through the curtain. The voice seemed about her age, if not just a bit older. A few minutes seemed to pass before the girl crawled to the curtain, extending her hand through them, abstaining from looking, knowing she would be harshly punished if she did.

“-Child -she started calmly- please let me hold your hand. -A break was given as the boy did as told.- I pray for your family, may they join the scarlet heavens. You will not turn into a beast for you shall miss them.

-Oh but. I simply could not bring myself to regret them. He stated bluntly.

-Then I will pray for mercy to be given on your soul, My ch-

-Douma. I’m Douma. She was cut by the boy, before finishing”

her hands moved on the other side of the curtain, reaching for the child’s face, feeling him flinch at the cold skin.

“-Then please, Douma. Come to me tomorrow. I will wait.” On these words her hands went back in her velvet cage.

And come back Douma did. days after days, months after months, year after years. Every day he’d reserve an hour to the other leader. Never to see each other’s face yet knowing the last of each other’s secret. Until he was invited to an event.

“Come to the velvet moon, Douma. It’s the day I will access the ultimate heavens.”

These were the words spoken to him. The last words he heard without a face on them.

For during a week he could not see the leader. Oh how he lounged for her presence. As time went by he had came to notice how she made his empty heart fill with butterflies he never expected to be alive. A glimmer of possessiveness. He wanted her to himself

But they were both now 18 for the girl and 20 for the boy. Four years had past since their meeting. Yet Douma had lost his humanity on the way. A sin he did not reveal to the woman he saw as an angel, too scare to scare her away. He didn’t know why this woman made him feel or how she did. He only knew tonight was her ascending, yet he doubted nothing unknowing of the nature of this ascension.

What horror he felt, what pure despair he met as he arrived. Finally seeing his angel’s face as she was tied by her arms to two pillars, suspended in the air by ropes, a white kimono around her weakened form. Shaking in anger as a knife was wielded by the man considered her mentor, by the awful smell of the glasses everyone were holding, this smell of blood and alcohol mixing. It was truly infuriating. He could not take it.

He looked at her once more noticing how she was nervously looking around, mumbling prayers and hopes of being saved. That until her so called mentor spoke up.

“feedeth yourselves mine own children f'r tonight thy presence shall summon our l'rd, drinketh the blood of the angel hath sent from above. Connecteth with the heavens of h'r purity. F'r tonight is h'r lasteth in this painful vessel the lady inhabits.“ the old man spoke an old dialect Douma could not fully understand but from key words. It filled him with more rage, as the man delt a violent stab to the newly adult lady. Striking her thigh as the blood pooled in a bucket placed under her. The rage to kill a thousand men. He felt enough rage to feel invincible. In his own mind he could have killed Lord Kibutsuji himself may he have been the one threatening the angel. His angel. Which received a stab to her other leg. The older man using the dagger to rip through her skin and muscles as a sharp scream got out of her.

But alas he could only watch as her body relax through the pain, giving up the moment she noticed the lost boy for he was the only one she didn’t know in the ceremony room. She knew from that moment that it was Douma. Her face turned peaceful at his sight.

She could very well see him walking toward the elevated space of the room. Watching as the considered mentor yelled at him to back away from the leader. Douma did none of that. It all went so quick. Quicker than the humans could see. All that they could register was the birch color haired man holding the old man’s head, his body a few feet away. He quickly dropped it hurrying to the barely conscious girl as he heard her followers all running away, screaming from the scene they had witnessed.

He was as fast as he could to untie her, trying to mush her thighs back together. The blood was too much. He wanted to eat her, his instincts screaming at him. The girl weakly laced her arms around him, muttering her thanks. He knew she’d pass out soon. He knew it would be over. They wouldn’t get a happy ending. There was no way lord Kibutsuji could appear and turn her into a demon, for alas Douma as himself was still too weak, hadn’t consumed enough to gain the power to change her himself. Seeing her struggle at staying awake he was like hit by lightning. Sudden realization of their memories flashing to him. For the first time in years he felt something. Immense regret filled him as he hugged (Y/N) tight, crying as he screamed and exclaimed his love for the angel.

“Angel. You can’t leave me. You’re mine. You made my cold heart work again, angel I love you. Don’t leave me. Angel. My angel. I love you. I love you. Please. I loved you. It’s true.”

He felt her hands on his face, like the very first time they had met.

“Douma, oh Douma... Come to me again tomorrow, I’ll wait.”

But her hands dropped away. For his angel had shed all of her feathers.

And as he sunk his fangs in her soft throat, taken over by his instincts, Douma promised himself never to love again.

#douma x reader #angst #kimetsu no yaiba #Kimetsu no yaiba x reader #kimetsu no yaiba douma #demon slayer #demon slayer x reader #demon slayer douma #stardust writing

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imaginedhaven · 4 years

Text

Rules of Engagement: Chapter Five

Link to Masterpost

Another few days, another chapter! I’ve written well ahead of where I thought I would be (I’m about halfway through chapter 7 now!), so y’all can have this one a bit early. I hope you enjoy!

~*~*~

Rowan scowled into a glass of wine in the Great Hall of the castle as guests in finery milled around him. Likely anyone who noticed the gesture would simply attribute it to discomfort in such a situation, and that much was partially true. However, he’d had centuries of experience in politics both on and off of battlefields. The dark surcoat he wore now was as much a weapon as his magic, or any of his blades. While not his preferred environment, he could adapt.

No, if Rowan was honest with himself his discomfort was actually rooted in concern. The hour had been sounded several minutes ago, and Aelin had yet to make an appearance at her own event. On any other night he would’ve assumed she had simply made a decision to be fashionably late. Even just a few short days ago, the most he would have thought of it was mild irritation at her apparent lack of concern for the people around her. It was amazing how quickly that had all changed.

For years—centuries, if he was being honest—Rowan had developed a reputation for being a soulless bastard, second in ruthlessness only to his commander. It wasn’t something he had intentionally sought, but he’d had a difficult time finding any reason to change it. His soldiers feared and respected him, and while those he’d trained probably had problems with his methods they had learned. The results justified the means, or so he’d thought. Not to mention the fact that if his heart was enclosed in ice of his own making at all times he wouldn’t have to think of all he’d lost through his own actions.

Aelin Galathynius had taken only moments to shatter that wall, and he’d been struggling to maintain it ever since.

Rowan had little patience for romanticizing magic, as those with less experience of it were prone to do. Magic was an ability he had honed into a weapon, and nothing more. But since coming to Terrasen he was increasingly beginning to feel as though embers from the wildfire that burned inside of Aelin had crept underneath his skin. Every minor irritation, cause for a swift correction and nothing more in any other pupil he had trained, burned and lingered for hours or even days. It was part of why he had spent days screaming at her about control—if she could only tame that fire, and keep it to herself, perhaps everything could go back to the way it had been.

Rowan was no longer certain that was what he wanted. There was a lot that he was no longer certain of, if he was being completely honest with himself.

It had been exceedingly uncomfortable, especially at first, existing around this girl—this woman, though by comparison she was still so terribly young. Where he had held himself to the strictest measures of control for so long, aided by the structure of being a warrior and the terms of the oath he had sworn, Aelin was wild and as free as the stags he sometimes encountered on his morning flights through the mountains of her land. He wasn’t certain if it was her example, her wildfire magic and personality to match, or if being so far from his own home had loosened the constraints that had bound him for centuries, but he found himself beginning to resent the conditions of his own existence.

That was fine. That was normal, even. Rowan had hated himself for two hundred and three years, ten months, and twenty-nine days. Resentment was no stranger to him, and he could hold it at bay long enough to do what must be done, kept under a wall of ice and only examined when it was absolutely necessary.

Then he had learned that the fire burning inside of her was fueled by the same pain and loss that had driven him to the point of madness, and all of that changed once again.

It was no longer possible for him to ignore the harm he had unwittingly and uncaringly caused her, belittling her troubles with no thought or care for what they may have been. It didn’t matter that she had done the same to him. As a trainer and a mentor he had set the tone for their interactions, and any harm she had done to him he had invited and welcomed. Gods knew he deserved it.

That was why he had refused treatment for the burns she had given him, if he was being honest with himself. He was still irritated with her for her loss of control, but it had hardly been unprovoked. Gods, he had bitten her in a misguided attempt to provoke her into shifting, and the physical marks she had given him were nothing compared to the taste of fire that still burned through his memory and his senses. She may have reacted, meeting his ice with her wildfire, but in the end it had been his fault.

Now, though, after a few short days that should’ve changed nothing and somehow had changed everything, she was absent from her own event. It concerned him more than he cared to admit, and part of him wondered if perhaps the blame lay at his feet.

He scowled at the stairway to the living quarters again just as her warrior cousin—Aedion, he remembered, and that was a whole other knot he would have to untangle—passed by on one of his rounds around the perimeter. The other male grinned at him, so very like another male Rowan had known for so long that even without his scent he would’ve suspected a relationship of some sort, and when he spoke his words were warm with a friendship Rowan didn’t deserve. “I hate dressing up for these things too, don’t worry,” he said lightly, before dropping his voice low enough that someone without Fae senses would have missed his next words. “I sent Lysandra—my mate—after her. She’ll be all right.”

Rowan counted to ten as he took a long, slow breath to steady himself. “I don’t know what you mean,” he replied, hoping he sounded cool and distant instead of as unsteady as he felt.

The other male smirked. “Oh, so you’re not worried about her at all. You’ll have to try harder than that, Whitethorn, she told me you gave her the day off to recover from whatever the hell you did that had her burning down the fixtures in my training grounds.”

Rowan allowed himself a moment of relief that she evidently hadn’t mentioned the lengthy discussion they’d had the previous night, though he still couldn’t meet Aedion’s gaze—so unnervingly like hers, turquoise ringed in gold that came from their shared Ashryver lineage, if he recalled. “There was no point in training today,” he finally said. “Fire is a difficult element at the best of times, and she would’ve been impossibly distracted today.”

Aedion snorted. “Whatever you say. I won’t tell anyone you’re softer than the stories let on,” he teased.

Rowan was going to respond to that with exactly as much venom as the accusation deserved, but at exactly that moment a door opened and she arrived, and the words died on his tongue.

Even at first glance it was obvious that she knew the same thing he did. Appearances were a weapon to be wielded as carefully and as precisely as any other, and hers was stunning. Vaguely, he recalled that the impetus for his being sent to train her was an event where she had lost control of her powers and burned down a palace gate. Though several months had now passed, it was likely still fresh in the minds of her court, and it would have been natural to present herself accordingly.

If her regent, savvy as he was, had had any say in the matter Rowan knew she would have been presented as soft and demure and apologetic, every inch the perfect princess. The woman who strode into the hall was no princess, though. No, she was a queen, and the authority she commanded was making his knees alarmingly weak.

Her golden hair, trimmed back to her shoulders after she had singed the ends of it in their fight, flowed neatly and unbound, broken only by the deceptively delicate points of her ears. Gods, she had shifted just to prove a point, and Rowan grudgingly admired her for it. The circlet she had chosen resembled the flames she could conjure with a moment’s thought, and for a dizzying moment he wondered if she was actually crowned in fire or if it was just a trick of the light.

The gown she had selected had a white bodice and sleeves, and as she turned to say something he couldn’t catch to her friend he noticed the lacing along the back that allowed it to cling to her every curve. The skirts, though, were a swirling assortment of orange and red silks that trailed along the floor behind her and shimmered in the firelight with her every movement.

Aelin of the Wildfire, he heard someone whisper, and he couldn't help but agree.

He was still staring when her turquoise-and-gold gaze met his, and he didn’t have to know her nearly as well as he did to read the challenge in her eyes and the tilt of her chin. You thought I would break, didn’t you? she seemed to ask.

He shook his head wordlessly in response to the question he was reasonably certain she hadn’t actually asked. No, her struggles and the pain she hid so well had forged her into the woman who stood before him today, stronger than ever.

Her gaze shifted to someone else and Rowan could finally breathe again, heart racing as though he had just stepped off of a battlefield. Control, he reminded himself, and he reached inside himself to feel the swirling ice that lay at his core. To feel anything that wasn’t Aelin’s fire.

The ice became much easier to reach as a dark-haired man approached her, offering his arm with a gesture toward the dance floor. Dorian Havilliard, he vaguely recalled. Crown Prince of Adarlan, and one of her possible matches according to Maeve’s intelligence. What her spies hadn’t yet learned, though, was the strength of the raw magic he could feel running through the man’s core. He supposed that made the prince a better match for her, as someone with strong magic himself would be able to face her with less apprehension.

Aelin laughed and nodded, and as they moved to take the floor he felt the ice rush back in. He had been hoping that he wouldn’t have to act on this part of his mission so soon, but it appeared Aelin had other plans in mind. “I have to go,” he muttered to Aedion, and he quickly strode away from the hall before he could see anything else.

He had already seen enough that he would have to report her likely choice to Maeve, and the less he knew the better.

As he strode out of the palace and into the grounds, he carefully ignored the part of his mind that was asking, Better for whom?

~*~*~

Dorian Havilliard, Crown Prince of Adarlan, was many things, but naive was not among that list. He had been able to tell from the moment he’d been reintroduced to Aelin that she had an agenda in mind, though she hadn’t yet shared it and he had yet to ask. Her selection of outfit for the evening only solidified that thought in his mind, though he indulged her by inviting her to dance regardless.

As they danced, Aelin moving with an almost feline grace around him, Dorian allowed himself to look back on their interactions. It had genuinely been pleasant to have such insight into the famed Library of Orynth, and he knew she had used their time together as an escape from learning to use her magic, but there was another layer to how she was acting as well. It was as if she was testing him, though he couldn’t guess the nature of the test. Her regent was openly watching even now, studying their every move as he had through their reunion upon his arrival to the palace.

As he watched, Aelin glanced over at the regent and then smiled, turning her attention back to him as the song drew to a close. “I don’t believe I ever followed through on showing you our gardens,” she mused. “Perhaps you’d like that tour?”

As an opening it was far from subtle, and if it were anyone else offering Dorian would have immediately been looking forward to a pleasant ending to the evening. With Aelin, though, he was positive that it was as much a test as it had been for her to inquire as to his taste in literature. Still, Dorian let himself smile in response. “I could certainly use the fresh air,” he replied, “and I’m certain you could as well.”

Aelin hummed a wordless answer and drew him away from the crowds. As she mentioned little facts about the trees and shrubs they passed, Dorian began to piece together the information he had gleaned from their meetings.

He had heard the reports of her incident at the palace gates, of course, as he suspected many rulers had. Could she be assessing his opinion of her? It would stand to reason that she would want to know if he viewed her as a potential threat, given the powerful magic she possessed.

Dorian allowed himself a smile at that thought. His own magic, formless as it was, was one of Adarlan’s most carefully-guarded secrets, and only his father and the captain of his guard were aware of its depth. While she had likely guessed that he had the gift, he doubted she had guessed the full extent of his own abilities. While Aelin was powerful, he was reasonably certain he could contain her if he had to, if only for a little while.

She finally led them to a corner of the gardens and turned her turquoise-and-gold gaze to him, and Dorian turned his attention fully to her in turn. The smile she had worn as they walked had faded, and he had a feeling this next conversation would be one of the most important ones during his visit.

“I want to thank you, for visiting,” Aelin began carefully. “It has truly been a pleasure to become reacquainted with you.”

It was time to dig a little deeper, then. Dorian considered his own response, then said, “I agree, though I hardly think you wanted to get me alone simply to thank me.”

A brief flash of guilt in those eyes confirmed Dorian’s suspicions. She was after something from him, and it was up to him to discover what that was. “Perhaps I was simply tired of dancing,” she drawled.

“Perhaps you were,” he allowed. “Or perhaps you wanted to explain why I feel as though my every word has been examined and weighed by you throughout our time together.” It was bold of him to say, certainly, but he had a feeling she appreciated boldness.

A flash of a grin revealed her pleasure in his observation, and he awarded himself a point for gambling correctly. “Oh, good,” she breathed. “This would have been dreadful if you were slow on the uptake.”

It should have been an innocuous phrase, and yet immediately Dorian was relatively certain of her intent. He had been measured after all, but not because she was trying to ascertain how big a threat he perceived her to be.

It was no secret that people of their status rarely formed unions for anything other than perfectly political reasons. His own mother had begun forming lists of eligible ladies and leaving them on his desk months ago, though he had not yet given any thought to settling down. The continual silent interaction between her and her regent made slightly less sense, unless…

There had been rumors, after her incident, that Aelin’s regent had invoked additional stipulations before she could be crowned Queen of Terrasen. Adarlan’s spies had not been able to glean the full details of her situation, but a requirement of marriage was not entirely out of the question. It would appease the lords she would come to rule, to know that her internal fire could be tempered and soothed by another. It would also provide a sense of stability outside of her kingdom as well. Truly, if that was the card her regent had played Dorian could only respect it.

Aelin’s next words confirmed his realizations. “I’m going to be perfectly honest with you out of respect for the friendship I believe we’ve been building during your visit to Terrasen,” she began. “Regent Darrow has invoked a terribly archaic law requiring that I marry before I can inherit my throne. It hasn’t been enforced for generations, and I believe I can talk the other lords around. Theoretically, with their support I could overrule it. But in the meantime, I need to be seen making a good faith effort to comply with his requirements.”

Dorian smiled. “And so you need to go through the motions of a courtship, and you wanted to judge if I would be amenable.”

Aelin responded with a confident grin that he was certain would have shaken a lesser man. “I wanted to judge if I would be amenable,” she corrected. “This would have been truly awful if you were some brute of a prince who couldn’t think his way around the simplest of problems. I don’t think I could have managed to pretend if that were the case.”

Dorian pretended to consider her words for a moment, though he had made up his mind as soon as she had admitted her problem to him. Just as she opened her mouth, likely to attempt to convince him, he relented. “Truth be told, you may have offered the solution to a problem of my own,” he admitted. “Though my parents have given no such requirement, they’re… beginning to talk about possible matches. I had no intention of settling down at this time. However…”

A series of calculations flew across Aelin’s face, and she finally grinned back at him. “If we were to court…”

Dorian nodded. “It would please my parents to learn that I’m at least trying to think of my future, and it would satisfy your own needs as well. We both gain a companion we can at least be friendly towards.”

“And honestly, we could both do worse even if such an arrangement were to stick,” she finished.

“So confident in your own merits,” Dorian laughed.

Aelin grinned, tucking a strand of golden hair behind a pointed ear. “Please,” she replied. “I know who and what I am. Why should I pretend I don’t?”

“I suppose you have a point,” he allowed. “So, since I have no interest in pretending you haven’t planned this down to the last detail, what happens now?”

“Now, we go back to the festivities and start showing interest,” she said. “I’m reasonably certain the next move your parents would want to see is me visiting Adarlan, and I’m absolutely certain I can convince my regent to allow such a visit for the sake of fulfilling his requirements. In the meantime… we act as though we genuinely have an interest in seeing this through.”

Dorian nodded. “I’ll make the arrangements for your visit once I’m back home, and send word once everything is ready. In the meantime, feel free to inform your regent that we’ve agreed to seriously consider your offer.”

Aelin smiled and took his arm once more. “Then you have my thanks. Now, let’s get back to the hall. We have an impression to make.”

As they made their way back into the palace, Dorian wondered if he truly understood what he had agreed to do. At least his life was likely to be less boring, for the next few months at the very least. And even if this had to last…

Well, he could think of worse fates.

~*~*~

Aedion Ashryver breathed a sigh of relief as the evening drew to a close and the guests began to leave. He hadn’t truly believed there was any greater threat to his beloved cousin than there usually was, of course, and he knew she could take care of herself if need be, but it was always better when everything ran smoothly.

Moreover, he couldn’t recall the last time Aelin had smiled this easily and this often in two years, and whatever the reason, he found himself grateful for it.

His cousin hadn’t told him what it was that had come to pass, but he was no fool. Something had happened to her two years ago, some profound change, and for the longest time thereafter her smile had grown dim and she had thrown herself into training. Where she had learned to wield a knife was another mystery he had yet to solve, but he wasn’t about to be the male to tell Aelin Galathynius what she could or couldn’t do. He'd seen what had happened when Whitethorn had tried, after all, he thought with a grin.

While it concerned him that she felt she had to keep whatever had happened a secret from him, he knew she would tell him if and when she was ready. But he didn’t need to know exactly what it was to see that something had changed for the better over the last several weeks, or to be grateful for the change.

As he pondered everything that could’ve contributed to such a change, Aelin came up beside him and punched him in the arm. “I win,” she declared.

“I wasn’t aware there was a competition,” he replied as he carefully massaged the spot she had hit.

“There’s always a competition, whether you know it or not,” Aelin grinned. “But that’s not the point, the point is that I win.”

Aedion laughed and began walking with her back toward her rooms. “All right, all right, stop teasing. What did you win this time?”

As he watched, Aelin put on a show of considering her answer. “Oh, only everything,” she drawled. “You can stop worrying about me and Rowan killing each other during training, first of all.”

Aedion whistled. “I’m impressed,” he admitted. “How’d you manage that?”

“I’m afraid it’s a trade secret,” his cousin replied. “I can’t just tell you how I keep Fae males in line, or it’ll never work on you!”

He shook his head in response, leaning against the wall as they reached the stairway to her rooms. “You said first of all,” he pointed out. “What else did you do?”

All traces of humor left Aelin’s face, and Aedion could feel himself tensing in preparation for her next revelation. “We have a journey to prepare for,” she finally said.

“Cryptic as ever,” he grumbled. “What journey? Where?”

She finally looked up at him, and he fought back a shiver at the fire gleaming in the gold and turquoise of her eyes, so similar to his own. “We’re going to Adarlan,” she revealed. “Well, I am, and I know there’s no stopping you from following me.”

Aedion scowled, knowing and hating that she was right as always. “And why, pray tell, are we going to Adarlan?” he pressed.

“Oh, a few reasons,” she said breezily. “I hear it’s warmer there than in Terrasen, and I wanted to see it for myself. Dorian tells me that their Beltane celebrations are lackluster, and I wanted to mock him endlessly for it. Oh, and he’s agreed to a courtship, so Darrow will be pleased.”

Aedion had been preparing to respond, had had a teasing reply at the ready, only for the words to shrivel and die in his throat at her revelation. “He’s agreed to what?” he managed.

“A courtship, Aedion, do try and keep up. I’m supposed to go to Adarlan and meet his family, so it at least looks like I’m trying to find a husband.”

And there it was. “You aren’t actually going to marry him, then,” he said.

Aelin sighed. “I’ll consider it if I must. He’s not exactly keen on settling down, though. I’m hoping the appearance of a good faith effort will convince the lords to overrule Darrow on that.”

“And the prince knows that’s the plan?” he asked.

“He does. I believe he actually put the pieces together before I asked him, and he says it’ll please his parents as well to see that he’s trying to plan for a future. Then we realize we’re terribly incompatible, we end things, and no one needs be the wiser.”

Gods, but his cousin was devious. It made Aedion grateful that they were as close as they were, and that she didn’t seem to feel a need to manipulate him into compliance. While he had a feeling that she had only told him part of her plan, he knew that he was only one of a trusted few who would know even this much. “I’ll prepare a small team,” he finally said. “Darrow won’t let you go unprotected, but I know it would be in poor taste to march an entire squad of the Bane into Rifthold.”

“You have my thanks,” she murmured in reply. “I know you’ll be there. I’m going to ask Lysandra to come along as well, so I won’t be the only female traveling. You’re all too aware of her ability to defend herself, I believe,” she grinned, and Aedion did flinch that time.

“Very well,” he ground out, though truly he wasn’t sure if he was glad or fearful for Lysandra’s presence on the journey. “And I’m certain Whitethorn would just follow in his hawk form if you left without telling him, so he might as well be invited. Beyond that, we shouldn’t need but one or two more.”

“We would travel faster as just the four of us,” Aelin countered. “And I believe two magic users, a shapeshifter, and two soldiers should be more than sufficient for my protection, don’t you?”

It was a painfully loaded question, and Aedion knew Aelin knew it. Rather than answer, he playfully shoved at her shoulder. “Very well, but you get to be the one to sell it to Darrow. And you have to ask Whitethorn yourself,” he added.

“Why?” she asked, a playful gleam in her eyes. “You said it yourself, he’d only follow us anyway.”

Aedion snorted. “It won’t be me he brawls with for that decision,” he pointed out. “If you want to provoke him, that’s on you.”

The grin Aelin gave him then was nothing short of feral, and he took a moment to ponder the utility of prayer on Whitethorn’s behalf. Ultimately he decided the warrior would likely only be insulted by Aedion’s lack of faith in his abilities, but when she finally answered he wondered if perhaps he ought to rethink that conclusion. “Provoking him adds excitement to his dreadfully dull immortal life,” she declared. “He ought to thank me for my thoughtfulness.”

And before Aedion could offer any words of caution about provoking Fae males in general and Fae warriors in specific, Aelin darted up the stairs that led to her rooms, out of his sight. He turned with a sigh, one hand running through his golden hair as he walked away.

He could’ve followed her, certainly, and continued to argue his point. However, he had long since learned that when Aelin made up her mind about something she was very unlikely to be convinced otherwise. Asking her to consider not antagonizing Whitethorn would simply be a waste of his breath.

He did have to wonder, though, why she was so much more excited about needling an immortal soldier than she was about progressing further toward meeting the conditions to inherit her throne. Aedion sighed and shook his head. That would have to be another problem for another day. Right now, he evidently had a journey to plan.

#rules of engagement #rowaelin #haven writes

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hcpelessly · 2 years

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hande ercel, cis woman, twenty seven, she/her ⟨ ✽ ⟩ hey, you haven’t bumped into nuray tiryaki lately, have you? they have been living here for the past eleven years and during that time, locals have gotten to know them as passionate & open-minded. a little birdie told me they can be quite impetuous & fickle though. explains why they’re a(n) bartender. they really remind me of a crumpled up piece of paper, hair done up with a pen, trading a pint for a story. if you’re ever looking for them, i bet you can find them around the retro room.

this is child number two, nuray ! she’s your local bartender at conans & sons and also probably just about everybodys darling, unless you’re not into hopelessly romantic and undeniably untalented poets. nuray is warmth, if dawn is the cold light of a star, she’s the sun. anyway, let’s just get into it.

QUICK FACTS.

name: nuray dilara tiryaki. nicknames: nuri, nur. age & dob: 27 & may 15th 1994. gender & pronouns: cis woman & she/her. romantic & sexual orientation: biromantic, bisexual. family: canan tiryaki (mother, cardiothoracic surgent, absent), enver tiryaki (father, high school literature teacher), hazal tiryaki (older sister, neurosurgery resident), kaan tiryaki ( nephew ) spoken languages: english & turkish (native), some spanish. occupation: bartender at conan & sons and poet. mbti type: esfp (the entertainer). hogwarts house: probably ravenclaw actually. zodiac sign: gemini.

SHORT BIO.

will there ever be a long vers. ? my guess is no but who reads those anyway ?!

while nur doesn’t remember this whatsoever, she was actually born in turkey, more specifically in bursa, in the north-west of the country, as the second child of her parents. when she was about three though, her father agreed to help her mother fulfill her wish of moving to the us and therefore the entire family relocated to seattle, wa. there her mother continued to work as a cardiothoracic surgeon (i know this wouldn’t have worked so smoothly irl probs but lemme live in fantasy world) and her father worked as a highschool teacher. even as a child, nuray has always had a tendency to live more inside her own head and the “stories” she likes to create out of her own life than in reality, because reality is dreadfully boring and could never measure up. her father has some rather similar tendencies, which is also the reason her mother named before leaving their little family behind in seattle. at that time nuray was around fourteen and her heart was absolutely shattered. to her this is still the biggest betrayal she has ever faced, which mother would just leave her two daughters behind ?! two years later her father found a new job in port briar, maine, leaving old memories behind. there nur finished school and afterwards went on to work a series of odd jobs, until now she’s been working at conan and sons as a bartender for about a year.

HEADCANONS:

nuray is hopeless. a hopeless poet, a hopeless romantic and certainly a hopeless mess. her entire life is a struggle between romanticism and melancholy and to blame is most certainly her father, the man who made her grow up with all these grand ideas and concepts and none of the talent or money to do anything with it. she loves him with all her heart though.

well, at least if you don’t count that one poem she wrote at fourteen that made her tumblr.com famous. oh, to be a teenager again.

when i say she’s a hopeless poet i actually do mean that she’s quite bad at it and also more or less aware of that fact. still, poetry is her single greatest love and dream, it’s all she is and therefore she writes, nevertheless.

at some point she also wanted to become a singer, songwriter (okay calm your little swiftie ass) but alas….

she IS a decent singer tho and if u stay at conan & sons long enough at night, u might get to hear her sing a song or two. do with that information as you will.

just like her father, nur is also a disappointment to her mother, but so is her mother to her so she tells herself she doesn’t mind (questionable).

maybe, maybe if the money hadn’t been the issue nur would be a literature student. maybe she’d spend her time reading wordsworth and wilde instead of handing out pints at conan & sons.

of course this isn’t how she imagined her life. twenty seven year old nuray should definitely have long sinced lived in san francisco, spending her days writing in coffee shops, earning her money with poetry and spending her nights getting to know all the interesting people while frequenting all the bars and clubs.

definitely the type to fall in love with different people every other day. she might fall in love with somebody’s eyes, or the way their fingers move when turning a page in a book or the way they pull off that shirt that would never look good on anybody else. likes to shamelessly romanticise normal interactions. help her pls.

on the other hand she’s proven herself to be quite incapable of an actual relationship, since they don’t usually manage to measure up to her fanciful imagination of what romance should be.

but yes, in the end she still fully buys into the soulmate, true love, fate thing. it’s kind of pitiful.

the bartender job is the first one she’s been able to hold on to. for a year now she’s worked at conan’s. fingers crossed for that to stick around a little longer, since almost no other job fits the lifestyle she imagines for herself.

doesn’t get along very well with her sister, who seems to have inherited the more pragmatic traits of their mother. there is love between hazal and nuray but nur also projects a lot of her anger about their mother onto hazal.

the fact that her sister hid her little nephew from them for quite some time also didn’t make their relationship improve. she does have a lot of interest in taking up a place in kaan’s life though.

has read a lot but still manages to be kinda dumb? rip. like pls don’t think she’s some sort of intellectual.

lives with her father and two turtles, they’ve been named anne shirley and elizabeth bennet by a younger nuray (could she be any more cliché?)

absolutely hopeless in the maths department (as a good bisexual should be), will calculate everything with a calculator.

WANTED CONNECTIONS.

besties. i would love to have a group of people with whom she just regularly hangs out. they could cook together and have dinner nights, go brunching, go out on the weekends and just like be there for each other. i think this could be super cute okay. also being friends with nuray comes with the spectacular addition of always having a seat at conans and maybe even a free drink or two.

exes. i think exes would be super interesting. with nur in the mix they could have absolutely all kinds of dynamics. while nur would always argue that she’s an absolute expert of love the truth is quite the opposite. she lives v much in her head and that has to this date managed to destroy every single one of her relationships. so maybe they fell apart bc nur lost interest in the relationship which didn’t turn out to be a toothachingly romantic as she dreams of or maybe they did because the other person just couldn’t deal with her antics anymore or didn’t even feel properly seen by her. open to all genders.

current crushes. yes, there can absolutely be multiple. get ready for big puppy dog eyes and also for the crush to be over in about 5 to 7 business days (or not? intrigue.) open to all genders.

enemies. sorta, kinda. probably just somebody where they absolutely rub each other the wrong way. that person might think nur is ridiculous for all her living in fantasies or obnoxious in the way she treats those around her. nuray, while usually tending to be kind to people, is def not one to step down from fights so we’d love to see it.

an actually decent writer. no idea how i want this to play out but i’m very interested.

regulars at conan & sons. this is self-explanatory but nuray does love her regulars so if your char is around often, chances are they would have had gotten to talking quite a bit every now and then. she probably knows their normal order.

#briar.intro #aged up and slightly edited #but at the core it's still the same nuray ofc #( about ) 𝒐𝒇 𝒏𝒖𝒓𝒂𝒚 𝒕𝒊𝒓𝒚𝒂𝒌𝒊

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astrochiron · 4 years

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the signs :: ANTi // rihanna

Aries- Woo

“I bet she could never make you cry ‘Cause the scars on your heart are still mine

Tell me that she couldn't get this deep

She can almost be the worst of me”

These lyrics display Rihanna taking pride in the wounds she inflicted during the battle that she considers love. Aries would be proud of their own war wounds but prouder of the ones they gave their opponent. They're very confident and present themselves aggressively, much like the delivery of this line.

“These days you've been feeling lonely

Yeah I've been feeling lonely too

I'ma fuck it up, won't you show me some'

Run it back like you owe me some'”

Aries are independent and often repel people. This line displays the affects of that, shwoing the lonliness the sign often feels but doesn't often express. The end of this exerpt point towards Aries' overt sexuality, sans the emotional connection, like Scorpio and sans the romance, like Leo; just raw sexuality.

Overall

This is first and foremost, this song is a break-up song, which is interesting considering that Rih and Travis Scott (the unfeatured feature) had broken up by the time this song came out. This shows the conflict present in a break up, associated with Mars ruled Aries. The sound of the song is also quite raw and aggressive, almost like alarms with blaring rock tones.

Taurus- Yeah, I Said It

“And I think I kinda like ya

 Up against the wall, we don't need a title

Yeah, I said it 

Yeah, I said it, bae

 Yeah, I said it, man, fuck a title”

Taureans are known for their direct approach and this line addresses that: “Hey, I like you, let’s fuck around; no title needed”. This and lack of interest in formality are very Taurus to me. This excerpt displays sensuality and comfort all in one.

“You can be rough, boy, but you won't

Give me some love, boy, give it to me 'til the morn'”

Stubborn and gruff are traits usually associated with Taurus. Rihanna knows, and likes, that her lover can be rough with her, but she knows he won’t, instead focusing on the pleasure of them being together. She’s craving long-lasting sex which can be associated with Taurus’ slow-moving nature and its focus on physical pleasure.

Overall

The song is overtly sexual and has literal moans at the end of it. Aries, Taurus, Leo and Scorpio are all associated with the various sides of sex and this song’s focus on the pleasurable, sensual, and long-lasting aspects of sex connect it to Taurus. This is opposed to the rougher and more primal sound of “Woo”

Gemini- Consideration

“I came fluttering in from Neverland

Time can never stop me, no, no, no, no

I know you've tried to

I came riding in on a pale white horse”

The first two lies focus on Gemini’s Mercurial nature. Neverland evokes thoughts of Peter Pan and Tinker Bell, the fairy-like boy and his very fairy companion. Geminis can be associated with fairies. Mischievous, fluttering, intelligent, and ever-busy. The excerpt goes on to illustrate Gemini’s duality as Rihanna then goes on from fluttering fairies to becoming Death on its pale white horse.

“When I look outside my window

I can't get no piece of mind

When I look outside my window

I can't get no peace of mind”

“Piece” versus “Peace” wordplay is a link to Gemini’s aforementioned versatility as well as using wordplay; which fits, given Gemini’s association with communication. Furthermore, peace of mind is uncommon for Gemini who has a busy brain. On this same note, searching for a “piece” of mind is much more common, trying to recall a memory or repelling an insistent one.

Overall

This song is an homage to Rihanna writing a lot of this album. She wanted the music industry to take her seriously as an artist and decided to prove herself by having a writing credit on all but one of the songs on the album (the cover was obviously written by someone else). Gemini is associated with writing and communication, making this very fitting. SZA and Rihanna’s back and forth also mirrors the twin mascots of Gemini.

Cancer- Close to You

“Nothing but a tear, that's all for breakfast

Watching you pretend you're unaffected

You're pulling our connections, expecting me to let you go

But I won't”

While I also cringe at Cancer’s constant connection to crying, I think it lies in place of maturity. Cancers are cardinal and, as such, are the masters of their domain. Cancers are able to adequately wade through their emotions and know the benefit of a good cry, as opposed to her Water sign sisters. Rihanna needs a good cry and has one. This excerpt also displays empathy as well as an inability to give up old memories. Cancers are tied to memories and the subjectivity of them.

“I know you don't need my protection

But I'm in love, can't blame me for checking

I love in your direction, hoping that the message goes”

Cancer’s protectiveness is exhibited in these lines. The subject of her care has obviously rebuffed her attempts at being protective; or perhaps she truly is being a bit suffocating with her care. Cancer is associated with the mother and these traits are often associated with mothers and Cancer placement alike. But at the end of the day, Cancer focuses on their emotions first and foremost. She’s forced to cut off a toxic situation and love this person from a distance, loving in their direction instead of loving them in person.

Overall

This is the most balladic song on the album, which always give me the emotionally heavy vibes of Cancer. The heavy piano accompaniment also evokes a traditional and old fashioned style; very Cancer. The song’s overall focus is on the refusal to move on from a past love which can be linked to Cancer’s tendency to hold on to the past.

Leo- Love on the Brain

“And you got me like, "Oh, what you want from me?"

(What you want from me?)

And I tried to buy your pretty heart, but the price too high”

Leo is, by far, the most giving sign when it comes to affection and gifts. This line shows that Rihanna attempted to put a price on love and give her lover gifts to secure their love for her. When that price don't to work, Leos will give their whole heart for their love. The line “what you want from me” exhibit's Leo’s willingness to do whatever it takes for their partner.

“Must be love on the brain

That’s got me feeling this way

It beats me black and blue but it fucks me so good

And I can’t get enough”

If you couldn’t guess from the previous excerpt, this one solidifies the fact that Leo rules the heart in medical astrology. More symbolic associations with the heart are also associated with the sign too, like love and romance. Leos tend to focus on the fun side of the relationship, though, ignoring the work (like Libras) and the struggles (like Scorpio). Even through those things, the love and romance is still foremost in her brain.

Overall

The Doo Wop style of the song reminds me of the 50s; very glam and Leo. It also evokes the idea of sweethearts and school dances and all the other things privileged people of the 50s got to enjoy; romanticization of romance, regardless of the pain that may have been inflicted. The song’s overall focus is on the power of love and the ability of it to conquer all negative things for better or worse.

Virgo- Kiss It Better

“What are you willing to do?

Oh, tell me what you’re willing to do

(Kiss it, kiss it better, baby)”

This line discusses giving a sacrifice in order to get something you want, a process not unfamiliar to Virgos. Even sexually (as this song is) Virgo is servile and wants to please their partner. Their aim is to heal and assist. Rihanna’s partner is taking the role of the Virgo here, as Virgos are the physical healers and nurses. This is interesting considering that Rihanna is a Pisces, the sister sign and partner of Virgo.

“Man, fuck yo pride

Just take it on back, boy, take it on back, boy [..]

Hurtin' vibe, man, it hurts inside when I look you in yo’ eye”

Pride is definitely a Virgo trait, again, painting her partner in a Virgoan light. Rihanna wants him to let go of his pride and admit that he’s hurt too and that he needs healing as mush as she does. Virgos have a tendency to get past their own pain in order to help others and to get things accomplished. They need to heal each other and, at that moment, the sex is doing it.

Overall

This song focuses on an already broken relationship that is in need of serious mending. There are several methods that are needed to repair a broken relationship and sex is definitely one of them as physical healing may be required before the emotional healing.

Libra- Same Ol’ Mistakes

“I can just hear them now

"How could you let us down?"

But they don't know what I found

Or see it from this way around”

Libras are always looking at how others view them as they're associated with he seventh house of our charts, which controls how we see the world and the projection we actively use when in relation with others. That’s why Libras are often indecisive, as they’re concerned with not only their wants and needs, but the perception of others too. They see multiple points of view and others don’t tend to bother to try.

“I know that you think it's fake

Maybe fake's what I like

Point is I have the right

Not thinking in black and white

I'm thinking it's worth the fight”

Libras are often considered fake, a they’re great at conforming to the situation they’re in and with the people surrounding them. This line pokes a hole in the negative view of this though; maybe, I want to be fake. Libra’s focus on justice and reserving energy for the right cause is also displayed in the latter lines of the excerpt, displaying Libra’s often overlooked ruthless attention to fairness and dispensing justice.

Overall

The whole song focuses on how a romance or connection completely changed the person in the song, a love is known to completely change Libras for better or worse. They tend to immerse themselves in their relationships. The song is full of backing vocals that can represent the self-doubt Libra often faces. They represent how they’re always checking themselves.

Scorpio- Work

“He see me do mi

Dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt!

So me put in

Work, work, work, work, work, work […]

Meh nuh cyar if ‘im

Hurt, hurt, hurt, hurt, hurting”

“He see me do mi dirt” references some secretive actions that Rihanna has done, likely cheating or something similar. She’s know required to put in work to make things right or to simply ge this mind off of the transgression by “putting in work” or having sex. Both secrets and sex are centered around the sign of Scorpio, especially using both to manipulate and control a situation. Scorpios may go to the extreme in reaction and sometimes just to get a response, pointing toward Rihanna not caring if she’d hurt her partner with her actions, only wishing to make them right, now.

“Nuh body touch me you nuh righteous

Nuh badda, text me in a crisis

I believed all of your dreams, adoration

You took my heart and my keys and my patience

You took my heart on my sleeve for decoration

You mistaken my love I brought for you for foundation”

At their core, Scorpios crave someone to turn to when things get dark. When a crisis happens, Rihanas wants someone to turn to for support. The later part of the excerpt points toward Scorpio’s tendency to put their all into others. This often leaves them feeling unappreciated if the other person isn’t all in or isn't as intense as they are.

Overall

This song is as overtly sexual as Aries’ “Woo” and Taurus’ “Yeah, I Said It”, but it focuses on the connection and power gained from sex. Rihanna uses sex to get her partner over their troubles, including her working too much and ever her possibly stepping out on him. Drake’s inclusion in the song also didn't go unnoticed, as he is a Scorpio Sun and adds even more sex appeal and Plutonian energy to this hit.

Sagittarius- Desperado

“Gotta get up out of here

And yuh ain't leavin' me behind

I know you won't cause we share common interests

You need me, there ain't no leaving me behind

Never, no, no, I just want outta here, yeah

Once I'm gone, ain’t no going back”

Sagittarius’ need for freedom and to roam is keenly exhibited by this excerpt. Rihanna’s parter is, again, the focus of the sign’s energy as he wants to leave. It isn't know whether he wants to leave their situation, their location, or Rihanna, but she wants to throw caution to the wind and go with him regardless. Sag’s need constant and renewed interest and good conversation to maintain their interest for someone. He and Rihanna have a lot in common and she hopes that can keep them bonded.

“If you want, we can be runaways

Running from any sight of love

Yeah, yeah, there ain’t nothin'

There ain't nothin' here for me

There ain't nothin' here for me anymore

But I don't wanna be alone”

Sag’s are very much known as the nomads of the sign, needing to travel and experience things in order to feel like they’re experiencing life. Rihanna is taking on the traits of this nomad, wanting to run away from the stagnancy and boredom that often comes with settling into love. These are two things that Sag is known to have not much interest in and is known to run away from emotional connection when unready to settle down and share their experience with someone.

Overall

A “desperado” is defined as “a desperate or reckless person, especially a criminal” by Oxford. Sagittarius is a fire sign, often down for reckless tact and a desperate need for freedom, making them desperados in life. The criminal activity isn't too much associated with Sag, but who knows once they get a drink or six in them.

Capricorn- Needed Me

“I was good on my own, that's the way it was

That's the way it was

You was good on the low for a faded fuck

On some faded love”

Capricorns are known for independence. Not like Aries wanting to do things on their own or Sagittarius wanting to experience things with through their own unbiased eyes, but Capricorn can be something of a hermit, being okay with reaching their goals by themselves and for themselves. They’re not particularly known for emotional connections, leaving that to their sister sign, Cancer.

“You needed me

Ooh, you needed me

To feel a little more, and give a little less

Know you hate to confess

But baby ooh, you needed me”

When Capricorns do decide to share their lives with others, they may assume people are operating under ulterior motives. Rihanna feels that she was used as a status symbol due to her success by her partner; hell, maybe several partners. Capricorn’s are foremost interested in their status and may often not be sure if people are attracted to what Cap can do for them or in Cap themselves. This proves to be true in this case, as she is said to have given more to the relationship than him and he felt even less for her because of it.

Overall

This song has a definite theme of female empowerment that can be appreciated by the feminine Cardinal sign of Capricorn. Capricorn women do typically embody the role of a woman in charge and demand respect, even from heir partner. The tempo of the song is laid back while conveying very bold lyrics, very much the Capricornian vibe.

Aquairus- James Joint

“I'd rather be smoking weed whenever we breathe

Every time you kiss me

Don't say that you miss me

Just come get me”

Besides Pisces, Aquarius has the strongest connection to drugs in the zodiac. Whereas Pisces is seeking escape (see “Higher” up next), but more of a normal activity that unlocks the mind and allows one to look at multiple points of view. The excerpt goes on to exhibit Aquarius’ hate for words of affection. “Just come get me” shows their tendency to relying on acts of love instead of words, as Aquarius is an air sign and they know that words are simply wind.

“Just making scenes, here come the police

They know about your history

How you live and love like "fuck rules"?

Don't care why, just know I love you”

“[F]uck rules” is possibly all I need to explain this line. Aquarians are very anti-rules unless they've been proven effective and this instance shows her partner, James Joint, is very much interested in making his own rules. Their fight and arrival of the police represent unexpected circumstances, instances ruled by Aquarius’ ruler, Uranus.

Overall

This song is an interlude. They’re used as a break from the flow of the album and to introduce some for the quirkier sides of the artist, a perfect Aquarian venue for expression. The song was also released early on 4/20 as a teaser for the album, further connecting it with drugs and weed culture.

Pisces- Higher

“This whiskey got me feelin' pretty

So pardon if I'm impolite

I just really need your ass with me

I'm sorry 'bout the other night”

Pisces is connected to being under the influence, seeking escape and rest from the tiresome world. Rihanna is in her hotel room and obviously cross-faded, wanting nothing more than to spill her feelings to her lover. This excerpts focus on apologies and the general clinginess are also often associated with Pisces.

“You take me higher, higher than I've ever been, babe

Just come over, let's pour a drink, babe

I hope I ain't calling you too late, too late

You light my fire

Let's stay up late and smoke a J

[…]

But I'm drunk instead, with a full ashtray

With a little bit too much to say”

The whole second part of the song is the content of her emotions spilling over like I mentioned earlier. It’s a bit chaotic and train--of-thought, fitting the mutable nature of the Water sign Pisces. Pisces also gets inspiration from its connection to those around them. For them, the solitude that Rihanna is experiencing can be a win/lose situation, allowing them to feel their on feelings without being filtered by the vibe of everyone around them, but it also leaves them alone in their spiraling thoughts and occasionally self-destructive tendencies.

Overall

Overall, the song is full of raw emotion and honesty. It only took Rihanna less than half an hour to write and that, again, denotes its purity. This hits home even more when you consider that Rihanna herself is a Pisces. The title of the song shows a connection to Pisces’ association to escapism and getting high to not feel so low.

check your moon sign (for the song that makes you comfortable and puts you in your emotions), sun sign (the song that makes you happy and the one you ride around to) and venus sign (the one that speaks to your inner artist).

#music #no-skips #astrology #ANTi #Rihanna #aries #taurus #gemini #cancer #leo #virgo #libra #scorpio #sagittarius #capricorn #aquarius #pisces #mine

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