#score hero hack | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

red-riot-unbreakable-heart · 4 months

Text

✨The MHA Boys Go To The Eras Tour With You✨

Lol I just had to do this, please bear with me! I just watched The Eras Tour film and my MHA brain rot kicked in. Here's a few headcannons of how the MHA guys would react to being taken to the Eras Tour as your boyfriend. Spoilers: They're all weirdly into it. And some of them even plan out couples costumes! Gasp!

⚡️⚡️Denki Kamanari⚡️⚡️

Ok there is no doubt in my mind here - Denki is absolutely a Swiftie. He read all of the blog posts detailing hacks and tips to get tickets for the show, and he preregistered for a sale code the minute he was able to. He has half of Class 1A sign up for presale codes so that he can have the most amount of chances possible to enter for a spot at the show.

He's absolutely over the moon when he scores you both tickets to the upcoming concert. He asks you to help him make a Pinterest board so that you can come up with the perfect Eras outfits (he wants to do Lover). Guess what? You go as Miss Americana and The Heartbreak Prince. He's decked out in a glittering blazer with a bejewled plastic crown and he's thrilled. He picks out a matching flashy dress for you to wear, and keeps complimenting how absolutely gorgeous you look in it the whole night.

He's all about taking photos of your 'fits in front of the stadium and blushes every time he gets a compliment from a fellow swiftie. When Taylor takes the stage, he nearly faints. As she starts playing Lover he holds you close and tells you that he's so glad you both get to share the special night together.

🖤🖤Hanta Sero🖤🖤

Sero really doesn't get what all the hype about Taylor Swift is about, but of course he's willing to go to the concert with you. The man loves live shows - but you need to tell him to leave his vape pen behind for fear that you won't get let into the stadium if he's caught with it ("But babe, getting high at a concert is part of the experience!).

You get him a plain black t-shirt with a small snake icon on it. He doesn't get it, but he shrugs and promises to wear it. When you get to the stadium, he's really overwhelmed and intrigued by all of the glittery, feathery costumes. He spends a lot of time trying to figure out how his snake shirt fits into the mix since all he sees is hot pink and red regalia. He smiles and waves gamely at the other swiftie boyfriends in attendance and makes more than a few bro friends while in line for a beer.

When the show starts, he is immediately impressed by the production value of the whole thing. When Taylor steps out onto the stage in her glittering bodysuit, his jaw drops and he turns to you accusatorially "BABE! I never realized that she's hot!?" You both laugh as she sings her way through the Eras.

When Love Story comes on, he wraps his arms around you and says "I remember this one from when we were kids! Makes me think of you." He plants a kiss on your cheek and you grin.

Finally, the intro music for Reputation queues up and an animated snake curves it's way across the stage below you. Sero grabs your arm excitedly as he realizes the snake on his shirt matches the stage. When Taylor comes out and kills the choreography for "Are You Ready For It?" Sero turns to you with stars in his eyes and says "This is the coolest concert I've ever been to. Thank you so much for bringing me!" By the time Karma comes around, he is fully dancing in the aisles alongside the rest of the swifties, completely wrapped up in the moment as confetti rains down on the crowd. When you get home, he buys you matching Reputation era sweatshirts on Etsy to commemorate the night.

"Babe - maybe you can get one of those sparkly bodysuits like Taylor wore?"

"Sero - I have absolutely no place to wear something like that."

"I can think of somewhere you can wear it." He waggles his eyebrows suggestively as he pictures a bejeweled bodysuit tightly hugging your frame.

💚💚Izuku Midoriya💚💚

Izuku has no idea who Taylor Swift is. Why would he? She's not a Pro Hero.

Once you excitedly show him your hard-won tickets stored in your Ticketmaster app, he realizes how important the concert is to you. We all know Izuku is great at hyper-focusing on a topic until he masters it - so for a month straight Taylor Swift is his obsession.

He starts an Eras Tour specific notebook and spends lunch breaks interviewing everyone at Lunch Rush about their favorite Taylor Swift songs and eras. He spends time online gathering data and drawing up little charts, guessing at what songs might make the set list. He's disappointed when he can't find any interviews online that feature her choosing the best Pro Hero, so he decides that her favorite is likely All Might (the only valid choice).

He listens to each album in full, starting with Debut and ending with Midnights. He's thorough, and learns the lyrics to the chart toppers off of each album. He's so excited to impress you with all of his Taylor Swift knowledge and fun facts at the show, that he forgets he needs to dress up for it. When you both arrive at the stadium, he whisks you off to one of the merch lines so that he can grab an official Eras Tour t-shirt. He needs to be appropriately dressed for this occasion in order to prove his dedication to you and, by extension, to Taylor. You tell him that it doesn't matter what he wears, you just want him to enjoy the show with you.

When the show starts, he is bouncing off the walls. From time to time, he'll bend down to whisper an obscure fact or data point about Taylor's meteoric rise to the top of the music charts. A few eras into the show, he stops sharing fun facts - that's how you know he's legitimately enjoying the show.

He tries his best to dance along, but even with the moves he's picked up from Mina he's a truly terrible dancer. He doesn't seem to care, though, as he throws back his head to belt out the bridge to "You Belong With Me" while shaking his hips. You smile at how much he's enjoying the concert - you haven't seen him let loose like this in a long time.

Finally, when the performance for Vigilante Shit starts to kickoff, you notice a deep blush settle across Izuku's cute freckled face. Without taking his eyes off the stage, he leans down to whisper in your ear: "I didn't realize that this song was so...sexy?" You crack up and he grins sheepishly, watching Taylor straddle a chair. He then boldly says: "Maybe you can do some of these moves when we get home?" Your loud cackle of a laugh is drowned out by thousands of swifties singing along around you. You tilt your head up to kiss your boyfriend hard on the lips. He threads his fingers into your hair and deepens the kiss.

You pull away, craning your neck to take in more of the killer choreography before turning back to face him. "I like concert Izuku. I'd like to see more of him." You say, and he blushes even more furiously.

💥💥Katsuki Bakugo💥💥

Katsuki loves concerts. You know this because he's dragged you to countless shows across the past 6 months of dating. He loves all genres of music - pop, rock, sad boy emo, heavy metal. You name it - he's heard it. Even so, you're a little apprehensive to ask him to go to the Eras Tour with you. It just doesn't seem like his scene - glittery, screaming fans making heart eyes and painting "13s" on their hands just seems like something he would not enjoy.

"Hey dumbass! Why didn't you tell me you got Taylor Swift tickets!?" Katsuki angrily bursts into your dorm room one Friday night, looking pissed as usual.

"What? Who told you?" You look up from your laptop, surprised.

"Mina! She said you've had them for weeks! Why wouldn't you tell me?" He sounds more hurt than angry now.

"Kats...I didn't think you'd be interested to be honest!" You get up and cross the room, taking his face in one of your hands. "Do you want to go?"

"Not if I'm your second choice!" He's defensive, but his face has softened at the physical contact.

"Babe - you're always my first choice. I just didn't think you'd enjoy her music style and all of the girly vibes." You pull him into your room and shut the door to keep nosy dorm-mates at bay. You motion for him to sit down in your desk chair and you hop onto your bed.

"That's pretty sexist of you!" He has you there.

"Kats - do you want to go or not?"

It turns out Katsuki has been trying to get Eras Tour tickets for months but to no avail. He is dying to go to this show since it's being lauded as "the biggest stadium tour since The Beatles played Shea Stadium!" As a music lover, it would be a crime to miss such a spectacle.

A week leading up to the concert, you can tell he's getting pretty excited. He's made you read through the setlist with him at least twice. He's trying to guess what the surprise song might be - hoping you get to hear something exclusive so that he can brag about it online. You laugh at this - even with concerts he's so damn competitive.

You're most surprised when he shows up at your door one day with a big cardboard package from Etsy. "I got us some shirts for the concert." he says gruffly, pushing his way into your room. He pulls out two dark purple tees - one that says "Karma is My Boyfriend" and the other stating "I'm the Boyfriend" in bold font. He smiles sheepishly up at you, a rare moment of vulnerability as he waits for your approval. "Katsuki...these are so cute! Literally this is perfect." His mouth quirks up into a smile at the praise, he's clearly pleased with himself.

Before you know it, you're taking a couples pic in front of the stadium in your matching purple Karma shirts and jeans. You snap a few pictures and press your lips to the side of his jaw, leaving a ruby red lipstick stain. "Ugh - come on!" he groans, wiping the lipstick off his face with the back of his hand. He makes a show of being annoyed, but you know he secretly loves being doted on like this.

He goes crazy during the show - he's extra appreciative of the pyrotechnic display during Bad Blood. He gets especially quiet during the Folklore era, and you can see how much he loves watching the grace of the dancers as they swirl across the stage during The Last Great American Dynasty.

You notice that he loves watching you dance and belt out the lyrics to every. single. song. He has this adoring look on his face as he looks at you. You knew he loved going to concerts - but you quickly realize that he loves going to concerts to spend time with you.

At the end of the night, he pulls you into an Uber and plants a soft kiss on your mouth in an unexpected show of public affection (Katsuki is not huge on PDA, he prefers private moments of intimacy with you). "Thanks so much for bringing me, babe. I can't even describe how much I enjoyed that show. Did you see the flamethrowers during that one song!? Insane!" Katsuki has glitter in his hair, and a smile stuck on his face.

You spend the rest of the ride home recounting favorite moments from the show and grinning at each other.

52 notes · View notes

moistmailman · 1 year

Text

AU where Pyrrha is a movie star where she mostly only stars as horrible and twisted villains, despite being a very sweet and caring person. Her characters and herself are literally night and day, which a lot of people find crazy. Like there was a headline that says “The BloodQueen apologizes to reporter who stepped on her foot on accident”

Meanwhile Jaune is an upcoming actor who scored a goal as the lead hero of a fantasy movie. Ironically enough his love interest in the movie, Cinder Fall, who plays a sweet and timid woman, is a complete a horror to work with. She looks down on Jaune at every given opportunity, and questions the director on why they brought such a no talent hack to be the lead of the movie. Which hurts the blond. The only person who actually defends him is the lead villain herself, Pyrrha.

Pyrrha is the only person in the entire cast who will go out of her way to make sure he’s feeling okay, telling him that’s he’s doing a great job and how Cinder is just mad she’s not the lead role of the movie. The redhead will occasionally bash heads with Cinder about her harsh words too. She doesn't allow Cinder to bully anyone actually. Rather it’s Jaune or crew members behind the scenes.

At first Jaune found it really weird to be comforted by a woman who had contacts in to make her eyes appear pitch black, and dark intimidating make up, especially since they have a fight scene coming up where he actually beheads her, but he soon grew used to it and after the movie they started dating.

#rwby #pyrrha nikos #jaune arc #arkos #cinder fall #rwby au

159 notes · View notes

theresattrpgforthat · 11 months

Note

any ttrpgs similar to tf2? basically a cartoonish but very violent 60s aesthetic

THEME: Cartoon-ish Violence

Hello friend! So when I hear violence, one of the first things I think of is LUMEN. This game system is primarily focused on combat, and really prioritizes character customization, which I hear is pretty big in TF2! I’ve got 2 very different LUMEN games for your consideration, and one lighter game.

Maim!, by Goat Star.

In the days of old, adventurers would go out on epic journeys, fight hordes of foes, and arise victorious with treasure and glory. Now they play maim - a sport where two teams of heroes volley each other with an anti-gravity maim-ball to score points.

A point is scored when a maim player is killed.

MAIM! is a roleplaying game where players are teammates in the midst of a dangerous death sport. It features a sci-fi fantasy setting, a futuristic world full of strange magic and machines - not to mention a cast of weird characters who are all trying to bash you down for points. MAIM! uses the LUMEN system by Spencer Campbell to make players feel badass and powerful even as they're risking their lives in the court.

Nothing feels more cartoony than turning hyper-violence into a sport. The setting is a sci-fantasy blend, with a broad span of genres to pull inspiration from. One note that I found very interesting is that this game advertises a system for generating new equipment for brand loyalty. That sounds like the perfect amount of corniness that I’d be looking for in a cartoony combat game.

CyberRats, by Alex Rinehart.

Welcome, trainee!

You are genetically engineered Operatives addicted to Biotech, a glowing gel that gives you superhuman powers. The world is being invaded by extraterrestrials known as Interlopers. You have been employed by a megacorp to ensure that the aliens don't win, and that if they are stopped, it's you who does it, and not some rival corporation. Winning won't be easy. But it also won't be enough. The right corp must get credit.

Can you stop the aliens? Will you sabotage the military to steal equipment and defense contracts from your competitors? How many Operatives will you lose before you taste victory? If you want to really lean into the cartoon fun, Cyberrats might be up your alley. I think the art for this game is amazing, and really communicates the tone and feel of the game. It’s colourful and electric, and captures the devil-may-care attitude the rats appear to have about causal violence. There’s ongoing work to produce more content for this game, currently in the form of the Briny Bastards playtest, so if you like this game, rest assured there’s more to come!

Gun Gun Go!, by Spook-Generator.

Are you ready to take up the mantle -and chamber- of a Shooter, a defender of and gun-for-hire on X-EARTH?

Get right to the action, take on deadly threats, and use explosive abilities in this fast-paced Lasers and Feelings hack.

Lasers and Feelings is a system that is great for games that are light-hearted, and this game hands you guns and over-the-top foes to duke it out with. The setting is meant to be pretty over-the-top, with the possibility for everything from Kaiju, to Cyber-Assassins, to dragons! If you’re interested in a game you can try for very little investment, this game might be what you’re looking for.

#dnd #asks #cartoon games #combat games #indie ttrpgs #tabletop games #game recommendations

46 notes · View notes

tempkiriri · 4 months

Text

Hero's Day 90% done

Just finished all stories. Still a few choices till Max score in the Climax route and am missing a CG (I presume there's one related to Max score for everyone).

Also, finally achieved something: I snagged a sneaky Origami! My Mikire count has finally gone up! I've seen several, but usually wasn't fast enough to react (often bc I moved away from the PPSSPP tab to type or share something and then he popped up, couldn't click back in and then use the analog controls fast enough). But as I was occasionally capping the credits, I was surprised to see him show up! Prior to this, I'd only seen him in menus, so wasn't expecting him in the credits. When I reacted, he shouted "Shaaaaaaa! Mikireta..." Which is also his voice line for his loading screen dialogue.

I don't think the Mikire counter does anything, however, just a "see how many you can get" counter. At least, I can't find anything on if it does anything or not...

If you're curious abt the game and want to play it yourself? Well, obviously you need a PSP to play it on as it's a PSP game, and then you need the game disc, which you can probably find on japanese flea markets (don't worry, the PSP is region free). You have to unlock everything by playing through it, as there's no currently known cheats to just hack in certain levels of completion. Would be cool if you could load up into a state where almost everything is done for you tho, huh?

Ok no jokes for this one: As the walkthrough wiki isn't 100% complete or even entirely accurate (it IS accurate in what endings you get, but inaccurate in that some steps might be unnecessary. Antonio's first option doesn't actually matter for his blue ending, for example), I went ahead and made a notepad txt file guide for all the battle sections and elaborated on Nathan's route a bit. The save files ZIP has this txt file in it as a bonus as well so no need to download both.

That'll be it for the moment. None of the files are at 100% completion. One has finished 7/8 hero stories, another was my main documenting/playthrough file and this version of the file has the climax unlocked, mainly so the gallery doesn't have climax spoilers in it if you wanna go snooping around there before playing the story. And then two others were made to document stuff I missed in the other two files. When I truly 100% the game (barring some glitches that prevent certain things from getting properly unlocked, mainly Kotetsu's 13th eyecatch that's the same as Barnaby's 13th, and a third version of one specific BG), I'll upload that in a zip as well.

#tiger and bunny #tiger & bunny #hero's day #tiger & bunny hero's day #save file #psp game #ppsspp

8 notes · View notes

metawatts · 1 year

Text

Justice League x RWBY: Super Heroes and Huntsmen Part One

I've been workshopping this review for a week it is 9 fucking pages but anyway: It's dangerous to go alone! Take this!

Table of Contents

#1. Introduction: Not for DC Fans

#2. Starting off: “The Good-

#3. Propping Up RWBY over the Justice League

#4. The Texas Character Massacre

#5. Oh boy lets talk about the writing

#6. Other General Notes: -The Bad, and The Ugly”

#7. Final Scores!!

TL:DR- They better not make the 'part 2'. Let's get into it.

#1. Introduction: Not for DC Fans

Let’s get this out of the way: this is a movie made for RWBY fans. It’s made for people who are familiar with RWBY, with the characters, with the worldbuilding, and it’s made with the idea that the people watching are RWBY fans, with DC fans as the backburner. The first reason why I think this? The DC characters get a lot more exposition on who and what they are, while the RWBY characters get to exist and be ‘cool’.

The second reason? This movie is, lets face it, mean-spirited towards DC. And yeah whatever, a DC comic writer wrote this, but to be fair with the state of comics nowadays that says absolutely nothing about respect given to the characters that are popular and well-known (hint: it’s not RWBY). This movie is drenched in schoolyard meanness. It’s all about pointing and laughing at the DC characters. Our introductory scene to this film involves Superman being systematically humiliated in his first scene (unable to use his powers, having his hero codename be mocked, etc.), and that sets the tone.

Meanwhile, the RWBY characters are introduced with action set pieces and knowing about the world they are in. The DC characters are the ones who are comedic relief, who need to be ‘taken down a peg’, who must struggle and prove themselves to RWBY to get the ‘honour’ of working with them, while RWBY doesn’t have to struggle and instead gets to just be ‘cool’. And that’s detrimental to the RWBY characters as well too, by the way, so don’t think I’m being unfair. No one in this film has a character arc, except Jessica, supposedly, and Batman, unfortunately, and you would think that coming off the back of volume 9, often called the ‘character development’ volume, people would be complaining that RWBY and JNR are quite flat, in how they progress through the film.

Basically: The RWBY characters are set dressing; the Justice League are punching bags. With that as our thesis, let’s review this movie. (warning for spoilers)

#2. Starting Off: “The Good-

Now, I won’t pretend this movie was enjoyable for me by any means, but I’m not unreasonable, it had its positives. Four, specifically.

The first one is obvious: the Spectacle Fight Scenes. This movie had a bunch of fights packed away in it, and the overall quality of them was on the whole, in the higher tier of rwby’s Maya fight scenes. Bar a few bits of wonkiness and the general writing surrounding the fights, they were fun. A particular shout-out to my favourite one at the end, Hacked!Flash vs Everyone, that one was fun and fast and highly enjoyable.

Number 2: Batman’s semblance. I’ll fully admit that I’m pretty sure my enjoyment of this power implementation was purely because I like Batman: Arkham Asylum, and this is literally just ripped right from that down to the aesthetics, but, well- I like Batman: Arkham Asylum, and therefore I like Bruce’s Detective Vision semblance and how it was used pretty creatively compared to most other semblances.

Third times the charm: Superman was my shining light, my beacon of hope in this film. He was kind, he was polite, he was supportive and brave and friendly and also, surprisingly for RWBY, managed to do all this without being spineless, he was willing to stand up for himself when he thought he was being treated unfairly (at least, 80% of the time). I wouldn’t even normally consider myself a massive Superman fan, I like when he’s well-written and I notice when he isn’t, but this movie had me actively rooting for any time where he was on screen, he was my absolute highlight in this film, love him even if his fit is fuckin ATROCIOUS. (and his voice acting was, by and large, one of the strongest performances, beyond Kilg%re and Hacked!Barry, who were just clearly having a delightful time villain monologuing)

Number four: the idea of Grimm absorbing dust. It’s a brilliant idea that really ups the stakes in RWBY fights, considering dust is their go-to offensive weapon and literally powers all their bullets, and, amazingly, it was also a cool idea that was carried throughout most of the film. Every Grimm in this film had the ability, more or less, and they used it often and to great effect. Very nicely implemented.

(Final tiny shout-out: the Justice League’s superhero outfits in their own world, that we regrettably only see in a few flashback images, looked GOOD. I wish they kept them instead of getting the outfits in the film proper)

But alas, this film really did have a lot more negatives than positives, so lets get into the first big flaw, and the one I would consider the movie’s biggest failing:

#3. Propping Up RWBY over the Justice League

I mentioned it in the intro, but this movie is consistent in how it utterly devalues the Justice League characters and does everything in its power to showcase RWBY and JNR as ‘better’ in every way. Now, the argument is that this is intentional, seeing as the villain deliberately nerfed the JL characters into being teenagers to weaken them. To which case I point at probably what is probably the most referenced episode of the Justice League cartoon in regards to this movie, the one where they’re turned into literal children, appropriately named ‘Kid Stuff’, and I’ll also point out the lesser known episode of Justice League Action called ‘Trick or Threat’, which had the added bonus of wiping the JL character’s memories of being superheroes.

Now, why am I bringing these up? Its because both of these episodes had the same villain idea as this movie: de-age the Justice League to weaken them, and both of these episodes also did something that the movie failed to do: keep the characters in-character and acting their age, and treat them with respect. I’ll get to the character issues in the next section, but the idea of treating characters respectfully is not done in this film.

Superman, as stated prior, is nerfed, his name is made fun of, he’s talked down to constantly, he’s insulted, he’s distrusted, and not just by team RWBY. But he is not the only one. Wonder Woman has a mishap when trying to get the hang of her new abilities and Blake and Yang laugh at her. Flash, Vixen, Cyborg, and Green Lantern spar against JNR and despite still maintaining most of their adult memories beyond the immediate, and supposedly their skills minus powers, end up on the defensive. Against JNR, not even against the main team RWBY or against Pyrrha. They are outclassed by the side-character team. Batman, the hand-to-hand specialist, is outclassed by Weiss in close-quarters and then a few random SDC guards, Wonder Woman and Superman mostly escape unscathed, beyond the new drawbacks of their semblances, but it’s telling that most of the fight scenes are more focused on the cool things RWBY and JNR do instead of the JL characters (bar the Big Three). Cyborg’s biggest combat moment that’s given any narrative weight is him powering up Nora. Vixen doesn’t even get a moment, and Flash’s only moments come when he’s being the Villain and not Flash. The JL characters are supporting characters in a movie that’s supposed to be about teamwork.

Second point: they really hype Grimm up as scary, even stating ‘Grimm aren’t like your normal monsters, they’re soulless beings that only care about destroying and killing’. And it’s treated as a big moment of internal revelation and horror for the Justice League. Let me say that again, the fact that monsters only care about destroying things, is played as horrifying. For the Justice League. The guys who faced down, canonically in this film: Vandal Savage, an immortal sadistic genius who literally just wants to destroy the world consistently, and Brainiac, a hyper-intelligent alien android who’s goals range from ‘destroyed krypton in some continuities’ to ‘hobbies include horrifically mind controlling people to do evil and shrinking Actual Cities for his snow-globe collection’.

But yes. Grimm are scary now. These are the same Grimm that basically act as cannon fodder in all of RWBY’s actual run time, bar one-offs, and exist just to give the protagonists something they can guilt-free rip their way through to show off. Those Grimm. Those are the scary ones now, supposedly. Despite this artificial attempt to make RWBY seem more badass then the league for fighting monsters, the Grimm are still cannon fodder, the movie doesn’t stray that far from RWBY’s conventions.

Finally, there’s a consistent running theme that ties into the leadership qualities of Ruby vs Clark, but mostly ends up as ‘the Justice League try to come up with ideas and plans, and team RWBY and JNR yell at them for daring to tell them what to do’. Most particularly, it’s Wonder Woman, Superman, and Batman who actually spark Team RWBY into realising that there’s a problem that needs solving. It’s them that comes up with 90% of the plans, and its them that put their money where their mouth is on being not only a good team and smart heroes, but also as friends (more on that later). But instead, whenever they come up with good ideas, it’s shut down, mostly by Nora, and also Yang, as ‘I’m not going to listen to you/don’t tell us what to do/you’re not the boss of me’.

There’s a very big sense of undeserved ego there, especially since the RWBY characters haven’t actually given a reason why they shouldn’t listen beyond general contrariness. But also, it’s a sentiment that does not work on a battlefield, and it does not work in a movie that tries to have a theme of ‘coming together’. Mostly because in a standard plotline about ‘working together’, the disagreements usually require resolving, or meeting in the middle. There is none of that here. The Justice League just bends the knee and goes with being mistreated by teenagers who have not shown their chops as heroes, but it’s still given the ending of ‘we’re all friends now’. The first of many character assassinations throughout this film.

#4. The Texas Character Massacre

This one’s a doozy. No one escapes. Not even Superman, who is almost entirely spared, even he gets a dose of a ‘RWBY Heroic Speech that is just Empty Token Hero Stuff’ (AKA the thing that’s been plaguing Ruby since vol4). But I’ve used Superman already a lot, and he’s probably the least egregious of what happens here, so let’s get into the meat of this topic.

Everyone and their mom on twitter has been commenting about how Batman does not feel like Batman in this. And it’s true. Batman, the self-admitted ‘I haven’t been a kid since I was eight’, the man who is so obsessed with Gotham City it will one day kill him, the man who, even if in this continuity is not a father of 4-8+ adopted children, still has Alfred who he would die for and would die for him, the man who in the current comics run of RWBY in the DC universe says with his mouth ‘I don’t want this semblance, relying on it is detrimental in the long-term’. This Batman. Wants to ditch Gotham because he has wings and powers now.

‘Batman getting powers’ is not new ground, by the way, but the absolute moping this version of Batman does is not only annoying and actively unlikable, it also makes no sense. In the span of ten seconds, in the same conversation, he goes from ‘I want to go home’ to ‘I want to stay where I have powers’. This isn’t presented as a conflict of interest either, by the way. He just completely switches his mind because Weiss said ‘hey stay here’. There’s no consistency, there’s no internal character motivation, it felt like they just wanted to have one character conflicted about leaving HoloRemnant and decided just to throw a dart at a board without caring who it fit. So yes, Batman? Massacred.

Wonder Woman also got severely screwed over too. I had this in my notes that Wonder Woman only acted in character when she was reuniting with the rest of the Justice League and was allowed to show kindness and compassion. The rest of the time, Wonder Woman, a character defined by her love for the world (and was created to showcase feminine power, btw), is a Strong Female Character, and I do mean that in the Negative Way. She’s literally got a Batman Growl on her voice for 99% of her lines, she talks about how tough she is, about the ‘warrior’s life’, and she’s the first character to get violent in a situation. Yes, even beating out Yang ‘punch first, talk later’ Xiao Long. This feels like a parody of Wonder Woman written by someone who read the Whedon Wonder Woman script and took ‘some crazy strong bitch in a tiara’ as their entire central concept for the character. It’s not a Wonder Woman who believes in anything, she’s just a sidekick for the bees to prop themselves up with as ‘warriors’. I could write a million thinkpieces on what makes Wonder Woman an excellent hero character, but all I’ll say is this film’s Wonder Woman would not count.

Green Lantern will get her own post on how this movie handled her so fucking badly because that would balloon this review to a massive size when it’s already a Longk Boi, but suffice to say: she was whitewashed, her anxiety was mishandled, and fucking HELL I miss Simon Baz, why are we erasing Jessica’s friendship with Simon for some screentime-sucking white boy. (Racism and islamophobia, the answer is racism and islamophobia)

Cyborg, Flash, and Vixen all aren’t really characters in this movie as much as they are there to fill out the cast, but suffice to say, they were handled badly. Flash was at his most interesting when being visibly possessed by the villain because beyond that he was just entirely forgettable to the point that you will not notice he has been written out of a fight scene until Vixen goes ‘where’s Flash’. Vixen herself literally is the most sidelined of all the characters in this film, she doesn’t even get a Cool Action Moment, and has just two character traits: Sassy and Vaguely Animalistic Sometimes, not just because she’s a faunus, but her first scene we’re introduced to her sniffing a paper plane for what is literally the only ‘plot point’ she’s involved in, namely, that Flash ‘smells wrong’. And Cyborg. Man, Cyborg. They literally handed the hacking plotline to Weiss with the excuse of ‘the tech here is weird’ and instead shoved Cyborg into some weird jealousy triangle where he was so disrespected by Ren and Nora that even his goodbye to them is met with disdain. Cyborg and Vixen deserve so much better, guys.

Now, onto team RWBY and JNR. Remember how I said they were flat characters? Yeah, this bit’s gonna be a bit shorter. Ruby had probably the most ‘characterisation’ in the film, in that they literally just took volume 9’s idea of ‘Ruby has self-doubts’, slapped it on her, explored nothing, and then Clark gave her a quick Friendship Speech and she’s all smiley again. Weiss has a bit of flirting with Batman, suddenly gained hacking abilities out of nowhere, and is mainly the ‘nice but snobby’ archetype she’s been in main RWBY for ages. Actually, Weiss, Blake, Yang, and Jaune all mainly exist to serve plot points in some way. Weiss and her little storyline with Batman is just designed to reveal the villain, Jaune is there to push Jessica’s storyline of getting her powers back by Literally Curing Her Panic Attacks, and Blake and Yang? Well, they get Wonder Woman to the places she needs to visit, first Beacon, then Atlas, and then Vale again. Oh, and they have Moments. Your mileage may vary on if that’s good or not, it’s mainly superfluous to the film overall. Ren and Nora don’t actually contribute anything, beyond Ren being jealous of Cyborg and Nora, and Nora getting mad at both of them for being overly protective (I think it’s meant to be pushback against misogyny but. It’s poorly handled).

Actually, I lie. Blake does have at least one big thing of characterisation. But I’m going to put it in the next section, because it’s more of a writing problem. The final other characters in the film are Kilg%re, our villain, who is laughable, and the simulated versions of Glynda, Kali, Jacques, Ozpin/Oscar, and Pyrrha. All of whom are there just to… show that it’s a simulation, or something. They don’t do anything beyond Pyrrha being so obviously a trap for Jaune and Jessica that of course only Jaune ignoring Jessica’s common sense could have made it worse. Now, Onwards!!

#5. Oh boy lets talk about the writing

So. The Faunus racism plotline. Listen. It’s bad. We all know its bad. I’m not going into it because there are a million people smarter then me who already have done elaborate and well-thought analyses on why its bad. Can we just accept the Faunus plotline is horrendous and go from there? Okay? Okay.

So: Blake introduces the concept of faunus by describing her own race as ‘humans with ears or a tail’. As I saw someone else put it when the movie dropped, ‘people don’t describe themselves as a white person with darker skin’. Anyway, the faunus plotline. It’s not really touched on in this film beyond Jacques being racist towards Bruce and Blake being generally weird about it, and the idea that ‘the animal-themed superheroes are faunus now’, but it’s a plotline that RWBY will never escape and therefore must be mentioned as having some impact.

So lets talk about the actual racism in the movie and mention how the black woman is a Sassy Side Character, the two men of colour are shoved into a jealousy plotline over a white girl (again, reiterating: Weiss and Bruce have the hacking plotline), and the Latina girl has a white boy solve her mental illness for her after her character design was whitewashed. While I don’t think it’s intentionally racist, it is a bit of a pattern for all of RWBY’s stuff that characters of colour are either written off, villainised, or sidelined. I also want to mention: Oscar shows up in this literally just to get slammed hard into a pillar by Wonder Woman. They really can’t go five minutes without beating up this kid). This movie is not kind to the characters of colour, whether its by Actively Fucking Whitewashing Them or by just making them non-characters, and it’s just, unfortunately, exactly what was expected from a piece of RWBY media.

The mention of Oscar above reminded me: the simulation characters are… handled oddly. Ozpin is the most obviously fake, even before he starts glitching between his old self and Ozpin. But what’s strange is that out of all the simulations, Jacques of all characters has the most personality of them. Kali was always a side character, Glynda just creates exposition and sets up a fight scene, Ozpin isn’t even given a character he’s just Creepy Hologram, and Pyrrha has about one minute of ‘no wait its totally me’ before she goes The Most Evil (sidenote, they keep bringing Pyrrha back just to be evil, I hope that’s not another pattern). It’s just… strange. The way the whole villain thing in this film works is strange. Which leads me to:

Kilg%re. When I found out who the villain of this film was I went on the mother of all rants on discord. And I will post it here for posterity, just so you know exactly what the gut reaction was.

As for why this reveal sucks: well. I mean, first of all, if you introduce the concept of your surprise villain as a joke earlier in the film, which they did, then it doesn’t really make them feel all that villainous. Sure enough, it gave Kilg%re a chip on the shoulder in his villain monologue, where he was whining about being ‘the one who finally trapped the Justice League’ (bestie they’re a superhero team from comics, they get trapped once a week and twice on Sundays, you’re not special, babe, sorry). And a character desperately yelling at the screen that ‘no I’m really cool trust me’ is not… fun. It’s just sort of awkward. Sorry, Kilg%re, they treated you badly. Also, they didn’t reveal the second villain on Remnant’s side beyond saying ‘he’, even when setting this during the Vol7 Montage, so I guess that’s a mystery for the next movie, if it’s ever made (personally I’m hoping for Dr Merlot, why not).

On the flipside of villains being written badly, this film also has romance written badly. It’s just jealousy and love triangles, jealousy and love triangles. Not even interesting love triangles either, just ‘character A shows interest in character B, which makes character C get really possessive and (in all but one case) mean to B’. The As: Cyborg, Yang, Bruce. The Bs: Nora, Diana, Weiss. The Cs: Ren, Blake, Diana (again). It’s not cute, and it’s especially not cute when it’s repeated three times in the same film. It’s just boring.

Finally: and this is the thing that truly, genuinely, made me want to write this whole thing because of how rage inducing it is, is this monologue given to us by Blake:

"They sound lucky. They've never had to worry they were gonna die just from going to school. To train like your life, or worse, your friends' lives depend on it. To have to live with the fact that there's a real chance you're gonna lose them. They had a childhood."

Lets count it down, people!!

Superman: literally an allegory for illegal immigrants, refugee orphans (an alien who was adopted and raised in America after his home was made unsafe) and in many case Jewish people, what with all the Moses Allegory. Had to hide the fact that he was an alien all his life, starting from childhood.

Batman: watched his parents get gunned down in front of him at age 8. This is so integral an event that it is a fulcrum point not only of his character, but also of most of the main Dc Universe that Bruce’s Parents Die.

Flash: his mother was murdered in front of him by a time-travelling speedster and his father was arrested for it. Barry grew up with the stigma of having a murderer for a father who he is generally seen as visiting constantly in jail.

Cyborg: he is a disabled black man whose father fused him with alien technology to keep him alive after a near-death experience that also completely replaced 90% of his body and meant he had to give up on his dreams of being a sports star. Usually also has a dead mom around there too.

Green Lantern: a Latina woman who had a decent childhood by most accounts in the comics, but had the unfortunate luck of witnessing gangsters hiding a body while out hiking with her friends. Watched her friends get gunned down around her, spent the next four years extremely agoraphobic to the point of never leaving her apartment because of her trauma and the fear that the gangsters would finish the job. Family’s alive, but that was only the start of the ‘Jessica Has A Bad Time’ train.

Vixen: Mari’s backstory is a bit more nebulous as long as the main points of ‘was born in an African village, got the tantu totem, moved to America and became a superhero and usually also a model’ is met, but she also tends to have a dead mom or dead parents floating around too most of the time, whether that’s by poachers, warlords, or some other awful human-caused tragedy.

Wonder Woman: raised on an island that was in comics literally called 'Paradise Island' by her loving mother, trained with all her Amazon family to become a warrior, the island is explicitly protected from all of the evil of Man’s World by magic, and willingly chose to leave to go do good and protect people.

So we have one princess raised on a paradisal island ethnostate with loving, caring parents telling another princess raised on a paradisal island ethnostate with loving caring parents that ‘yeah your friends have horrific backstories, but they were lucky because they didn’t do what we did and WILLINGLY sign up for a job as a monster killer where we get four years of training and preparation and also are paid well for our actions instead of freelance vigilante work for charity, so if you think about it, us RWBY kids are the real victims/warriors here’.

Just in case anyone was wondering why I think Wonder Woman’s OOC in this film.

Oh also this monologue is an allegory for gun violence and school shootings, as confirmed by the writer in this article and I am including the quote for posterity and also so people can’t say I made it up: https://animemojo.com/other/exclusive-interview-with-justice-league-x-rwby-super-heroes-huntsmen-writer-meghan-fitzmartin-a14773#gs.w1iou8

“These kids are warriors and these RWBY kids are a really good look at what we’re putting a lot of kids through today. There’s a statistic I saw recently that said 1-in-5 kids will die in gun violence in America. That sucks. That’s the level of warrior stuff we’re putting our kids through and it’s a good example of what’s happening to this current generation. I wanted to make a point of saying, ‘What does that do to us?’ Looking into the leadership or what these characters go through, it’s interesting to see what they have to give up to give future generations a chance. I think that resonates a lot with kids today.” - Meghan Fitzmartin

Just. In case anyone else wants to be angry about this with me. Hey, RWBY, you can’t have the actual tagline of your show be ‘it’s also a gun’ and then go ‘gun violence is bad tho’ because oh man then your main characters look like real monsters for all the times they pull guns on people (such as all the unarmed civilians or people who they pulled guns on first who then pulled out their own guns in self-defence). Also, if this is one of the themes of the movie, then this is also the only time it’s touched on. The concept of ‘being a warrior’ becomes instantly watered down to mean ‘badass fighter’ and not ‘person carrying constant fear of death by rising gun violence’, so it’s also a really shallow use of an actually serious theme, which is par for the course with RWBY but is also still very annoying when it happens.

#6. Other General Notes: - the Bad, and the Ugly”

The music in this film was very weak. No hate to the composer but it’s barely noticeable and doesn’t really have anything of note. Normally I find a lot of DC stuff has decent music and RWBY in particular is praised for it. This was disappointing, audio-wise

The designs: Listen, RWY and JNR were fine, the Beacon designs are serviceable even if they aren’t my favourites overall. But anyway, lets rank the Justice League, best to worst!

#1. Vixen: even, somehow, in the world that is RWBY modelling, Vixen slays. She simply cannot look bad, ever. The focus on black and orange contrast instead of a million eye-searing colours, the sleekness of the jumpsuit, the fact that it’s not overly complicated, and that she actually has hair with curls in it? If not for the tail and the fact that it is literally just Harriet’s model, top points. You cannot keep a bad bitch down.

#2. Cyborg: Listen. It could have been worse. It could have been. So much worse.

#3. Wonder Woman: girlypop’s gonna cut someone on that chin, and her arm muscles look like braided bread. The ponytail would be passable if not for the way they modelled her hair tendrils, and the outfit… also could have been worse.

#4. Superman: The babyface and the way his hair is plastered to his head does not work, but I like how expressive his eyes are. The outfit is an atrocity to god but they all are from this point so at least his boots are cute and the whole denim jeans and denim jacket would work if they didn’t have that massive gold S on the shirt or the Fake Cape.

#5. Batman: ugly as sin. He has No Hood, Cowl, or Mask, his hair is bad, the scar on the eyebrow is the one cool thing, his outfit is awful, and when it’s folded up it looks like Weiss is swinging around an empty pizza box. Gotta say, at least the ears in the comic were kinda cute, the bat wings are just bland in comparison.

#6. Flash: Sir your zipper is in the shape of a zigzag and it’s very cringefail of you. The one redeeming feature is the visor but like, the hair? No. The scarf? No. The way they placed the colours on his outfit? Yikes. Throw the whole man out, Kilg%re did.

#7. Green Lantern: they put her in a blender with Ben 10 and hit ‘emulsify’ (this is insulting to Ben 10 which I am very sorry for, Ben 10 didn’t deserve this but then again neither did Jess). Her long curly hair is gone, her melanin is gone, her cute jumpsuit is gone, her brown eyes are GONE like I had my issues with the comic designs but at least it was a design and not just Ugly Bad Wrong.

Final note: they really want us to believe that Batman beat up a guy and stole his tuxedo to blend in but during the entire time he was changing out of his hero costume and into a suit he somehow didn’t notice a pair of big honking WINGS on his back. Yeah right.

#7. Final Scores!!!

Plot: 2/10

Characters: -100/10

Spectacle Fights: 4/10

Themes: 1/10

Overall score, not including the points for ‘characters’: 2.5/10

Do NOT make another fucking movie with this premise. (I will write up Jessica's personal meta in the future, keep an eye out).

#rwby #rwde #rwby x justice league #rwby spoilers #justice league x rwby #jl x rwby #rwby x jl #justice league rwby #rwby-meta #mod watts

49 notes · View notes

cinnbar-bun · 1 year

Note

I just discovered your blog and I already love it! Can I ask you what would be the favorite video games of the groups Destiny, Sea salt and Wayfinder please? What would they play or like? If that's too much feel free to reduce to the characters you like the most or ignore, it's really okay! Thank you and good vibes!

A/n: Woo just slowly gonna try and go through the requests! I added a few extra bonuses, hope you enjoy <3

Multiple KH Characters and Their Favorite Video Games!

Destiny Island Trio:

Sora: Fighting games- preferably Smash. He mains himself main characters (Mario, Link, Kirby, FE protags). He sucks. He is the guy who button mashes and corners players to beat the hell out of them.

Riku: Fighting games- preferably Tekken or Street Fighter. Mains Jin or Lee. Attempts to be strategic but gets way too competitive fast and is busy mashing all the buttons off the controller.

Kairi: Way too good at fighting games. But she’d probably play lots of Pokemon or monster collecting games. She has many setups that are both competitive or just fun ones for a fun challenge.

Sea Salt Family:

Roxas: Persona fanboy. He hasn’t played 1-2 but he can’t pick a favorite between 3-5. Plays all the spinoffs or has someone else play them for him. His favorite characters are the protagonists. Hears jazz music and assumes this is a Persona 5 reference.

Xion: Resident DMC and Souls-like player. Girl is a monster on the controllers despite being just being born. The way she can effortlessly combo and dodge all attacks makes her a fearsome opponent.

Axel: Mario Kart. Axel is pretty average at video games (unless they’re like, retro or arcade) but Mario Kart? He’s on it like Donkey Kong. He mains Funky Kong.

Saix: He has two wolves inside him- the logical gamer and the second, more absurd gamer. Sometimes he wants to unwind, so he might pick up a basic platformer like Mario or Sonic, but on the other side- he’s a menace in a Warriors game. He’s hacking and slashing. He’s killing everyone in his path. Also, he’s a completionist. He has to get the best markings and everything. Won’t settle for less.

Wayfinder Trio:

Terra: Minecraft and fighting games. He tries his best lmao. He’s just got pretty big hands so often he messes up with combos but he’s also pretty impatient and tends to spam certain moves.

Aqua: Rhythm games definitely. Watch her effortlessly get all perfect scores in one try. Even the hardest OSU! map has nothing on Aqua. She also kicks ass at fighting games.

Ventus: He likes Mario and Sonic at the Olympic Games and Mario Party. He always loses at almost any game against his friends though.

Bonus Characters:

Namine: I feel like she enjoys visual novels and Okami. She really loves aesthetic games and is a patient player.

Xemnas: does not play video games beyond Candy Crush or Solitaire. You kids and your “Splatoons” or “Bayonettas”, go pick up an old Final Fantasy game smh.

Xigbar: Call of Duty. Fortnite. PUBG. Overwatch. He’s a menace and plays all sorts of FPS games. His sniping abilities IRL translate very well into games. Also likes the Hitman games.

Vexen: Bookworm and civilization manager games. He’s big on Age of Empires and is a top talent within the community. He loves playing as the Vikings or Mayans for competitive play. He’s also made many custom maps.

Zexion: Tower Defense managers and Ace Attorney. He loves deducing the crime or finding the best way to defend his base with the minimum amount of units possible.

Xaldin: He doesn’t play games (lie). He plays romantic visual novels. Plays all kinds of them. Otomes too. He is a lonely man. Also loves cooking games.

Lexaeus: farming games. He just has a fun time playing Story of Seasons. Rune Factory is nice too but he prefers SoS because he loves the farming aspect more.

Demyx: Guitar Hero. No argument. This man did all the crazy achievements and was going at it for days.

Luxord: Yeah yeah solitaire and gambling- have you considered he loves playing the Yakuza games? Well now you do. He loves the games dearly and cherishes them and likes to be the biggest Yakuza on the block. Also yeah, he plays lot of gacha games.

Marluxia: Doesn’t really play video games, but he’d most likely play some horror games with Larxene or town management games.

Larxene: Horror games or multiplayer games where she can troll people. Banned from multiple servers and people refuse to play with her minus Marluxia. Aesthetically though she loves Trish from DMC and thinks Vergil is number one.

#kh #kingdom hearts #kh hcs #headcanons #sora #riku #kairi #marluxia #larxene #luxord #demyx #lexaeus #zexion #vexen #xaldin #xigbar #xemnas #namine #terra #ventus #aqua #axel #saix #xion #roxas

71 notes · View notes

deusvervewrites · 5 months

Note

I didn't mean that he would purposefully try to get first place to so he could do the SF speech, just that if he did pull it off, what would his speech be like.

Also, I think he stands a more than good chance at it. Even with Bakugo's issues being lessened, he's always very goal oriented and doesn't know about the rescue points, so he probably would have very few of those. And I can't see anyone else getting a much better score because of butterfly effect.

I think Izuku with the power of proper training, planning and that gun he has could get 90 points. Keep in mind that he would be familiar with the robots and how to take each type them down in the most efficient way.

Oh I did mean to include what his speech would be like, whoops. I think, taking after Nedzu, he would give a long-winded speech on the nature of Heroics and the event itself that suggests that anyone can be a Hero

You're correct that there's not much reason for anyone else to score higher, so Midoriya would only have to beat Bakugou's ~77 points.

Not only is he familiar with the robots, I previously established he hacked on and rode it around to move faster

#asks #little mouse au

18 notes · View notes

lampmanliveblogs · 7 months

Text

Thank God! Literally!

And while we’re at it, how about you banish that evil spirit from Raine’s body while you’re at it, Collector? I know you usually call a priest for exorcisms, but if you’ve already got a god on hand… might as well cut out the middleman.

Wow! Philip’s really out here, pulling the old ”the power of love and friendship” card, huh? I love how he hesitates, which is probably because he’s panicking, but I like to think it’s because he’s trying to figure out what Luz or another similar hero would say. Or maybe he just thinks Raine would actually talk this way.

Heck, it even sounds like the background music gets thrown for a loop when Philip says ”kindness,” like even the score can’t believe that’s the lie he resorted to.

Also, this ”danger” to The Collector he speaks of? I’m gonna go ahead and guess it’s something like ”Your best friend King is actually plotting to destroy you/imprison you again!” or something like that.

And as much as it pains me to say the phrase ”to be fair” when it comes to Philip, an actual witch hunter, tyrant, and serial killer, but… to be fair; Lilith did say that they would find some way to defeat The Collector, and King was in on it. So yeah.

We cut back Hexside, where Kikimora has thrown (some of) our heroes into the detention pit, and confirms that she intends to build her own empire, with the help of Boscha. Luz calls her out on doing pretty much the same thing Belos was doing, because Kiki is like me: a talentless hack with no original ideas.

Anyway, not Camila calling Kikimora a ”little red kitten” skull emoji. I’d’ve sooner compared her to a gnome, or I dunno… some kind of small, hairless mammal, like a naked mole rat or something.

Actually, speaking of gnomes, did you know that Kikimora actually gets her name from Slavic mythology? O-oh, you did? Everyone knows that? okay…

(hm… a detention pit… so that’s kinda like a pit where you put failures… like the pit at the bottom of the skull where Philip discarded the grimwalkers… there’s even a bunch of skeletons left in the detention pit! wow, Luz is right, Kiki really is just copying Belos, huh?)

It’s good to see that when all else fails, Camila does not hesitate to resort to that ever classic human strategy of ”throw stick” to incapacitate her enemies.

It’s even gooder to see Kikimora get decked in the face with a baseball bat.

I do appreciate the detail of Camila trying to draw an ice glyph, only to fail miserably, because of course she would. Let’s forget the fact that all her training took place in the Human Realm, where there was no magic and thus she couldn’t get a feel for how the glyphs actually work (it’s easier to learn things when you can see the results, after all), this is a high-stress situation, of course she’s not gonna get it right right away. Still, Mrs. Noceda is a tough lady, she’s ready to throw hands… or bats.

I vaguely recall making a joke about Amity and Boscha dating a good while back. That was just meant as a brief throw-away gag, but ah… here we have Boscha, on her knees, begging for Amity to come back. Accidental prophecy! Which is the worst, but also the funniest kind of prophecy.

#the owl house #liveblog #the owl house liveblog #toh s3e2 #for the future

9 notes · View notes

thesplatterman · 5 days

Text

statistics as a splatoon 3 player:

salmon run:

gets at least eggs vp 300 on all maps and knows each map from the back of my hand

spams "this way" and "booyah" the most to lead the team

scores 100+ eggs on a normal day, 150+ on a good day

second to last to use specials but when used is when we win

(used to) show off my golden big run badge with pride

probably the only game mode i play

hero mode:

100% completed all of the upgrade chart and 100% completed restoring all the islands

completed every level with all weapons offered along with maining hero shot in turf war

has not attempted the secret level because the risk is greater than the reward

had to complete the ending twice because the internet bugged out

speedruns every level but hasn't touched hero mode since last year

was one of those kids who pushed smallfry into the water

side order:

has completed most of the color chip collection (damn you, splatling barrage)

can complete most levels under 10 or 30 seconds (not bosses nor splat zones)

has completed the low hacks run and (used to display) the badge proudly

completes most runs around 20 minutes

completed all of the jelleton guide and marina's journal

maxed out all hacks, bought everything from cipher, and has 9999 prlz

turf war:

least played mode but usually gets mvp or second to mvp in matches

ranks out with at least 49-60% win against others

holds back reefslider but spams ink mines

rushes into the field after inking home and usually gets splatted first

usually gets 12:1 splat to splatted ratio, once had 20:0 splat to splatted ratio with 4 reefsliders

number one target, jump spot, and splatter in most cases unless its one of those bad days

anarchy battles:

never played once, never has played since 2020 in splat2

only has old knowledge from splatoon 1-2

favorite used to be rainmaker, now its none

still doesn't understand clam blitz

still a c+ rank since yesteryear

still hates the tower control

splatfests:

never plays anymore, never will play unless forced. thinks its rigged (it is)

only dragged in to play when s/o or best friend begs me to hop on

"what the hell are fizz bombs??", proceeds to treat them like booyah bombs

has a 2/3rd chance losing rounds because of unfair weapon pairing

never won a splatfest besides vanilla and sweet, wouldve won water if s/o didnt force me to become grass

never wins 10x, 100x, or 333x battles, only in it for the conch gambling

summary: i suck when its pvp.

#the splatterman #ramble #splatoon 3 #turf war #anarchy battle #salmon run #hero mode #side order #splatfest

3 notes · View notes

thesinglesjukebox · 15 days

Text

CAMILA CABELLO FT. PLAYBOY CARTI - "I LUV IT"

youtube

Per our controversy score, it's more iluvit ihateit iluvit ihateit iluvit ihateit iluvit...

[6.47]

Katherine St. Asaph: wtf (complimentary) [7]

Hannah Jocelyn: “I Luv It" is a perfect example of once avant-garde sounds being absorbed into the mainstream -- which is why people hate it -- but the way all involved fail makes it much better than it otherwise would be. Everyone involved doesn’t know how to work outside the lines of pure pop, and it shows. We have a IV-I-V-ii chord progression, normally too melancholic for upbeat electronica outside of “Off-World”, and we have a classic AABB chorus, only the AAs are iluvitiluvitiluvitiluvit and the BBs are Gucci Mane samples. Cabello is much more fun in this mode than crooning nicotine-Halloween-morphine “Never Be The Same” mode, and if she still comes across as try-hard, that adds to the song’s bizarre alchemy. Carti’s dispassionate mumbling nearly kills it, but listen to the beautiful synth arpeggio he’s up against. “I Luv It” is too structured to be incoherent, too clean to be overwhelming, and all those contradictions make the song legitimately captivating, far from the trainwreck intended. [8]

Isabel Cole: I almost admire this track’s staunch refusal to be an actual song; between its near-total disinterest in conventions like “melody” and “structure” and the fact that its hooks sound like they were recorded by a pull-string doll running out of batteries, you could almost call it avant-garde. Unfortunately, none of its repetitive noodling sounds interesting or good, hence “almost.” Carti’s verse (counterintuitively?) comes closest to achieving one of those things (song, interesting, good), although I’m not sure which one, and despite the fact that he is so inscrutable it’s like listening to a rap verse by the Swedish Chef. [3]

Alfred Soto: I like it, but it took getting used to Cabello's voice squeaking ILUVITILUVITILUVIT against a synth arpeggio. Because Cabello's always sounded like a synth anyway, the track's an exercise in harmony. [6]

Mark Sinker: Obviously I should stop trusting the mondegreen as insight generator -- but “I was on the train with the MEKONS!” Enter Greil Marcus to solve the case, in deerstalker like the Inspector in the Pink Panther cartoons, his enormous magnifying glass from our direction enlarging only his own eye (affectionate). Down these so-pretty streets a man must go who is not himself pop, who is neither tarnished nor afraid! He is the hero; he is Playboi Carti, mumblier perhaps than anyone in muttering history… [squeaks: ah!] [10]

Alex Clifton: Am I supposed to understand any of the words in this song? [3]

Taylor Alatorre: "Doctorin' the Tardis" with less self-awareness yet somehow even greater contempt for its target audience, which in this case is Millennial-Zoomer cuspers who assign mystical significance to Project X and Spring Breakers because they first saw those films before being old enough to drive. I'm opposed to it in principle -- but principle hasn't stopped me from listening to it 83 times in the past month. Mainly that's because of how the brute-force Gucci Mane sample tries to hack my brain into thinking it's actually hearing "Lemonade" for those 12 to 24 seconds. No chopping or screwing, no tenuous lyrical tie-ins, just unadulterated 2010 high school cafeteria bliss. It's such a childishly brazen tactic, like a couple of teenagers trying to sneak their vodka-filled water bottles into an all-ages show, that I can't help but nod respectfully toward it. Given all this, Playboi Carti might not seem to be the correct punchline to this joke, and if Camila had been able to wrangle a Riff Raff or Trinidad James onto here, the unified kitsch factor alone would've earned the song's full acquittal. But it's in the parts where he isn't aiming for gibberish-fueled virality that Carti justifies his presence here. "Oh you on a roll now?" feels like a playful negging of all the cheap XCX cosplay we've just had to sit through, and "she says I'm way too young" is such a teasing last-second aside, turning the very act of Guwop-sampling into a vague metaphor for shooting one's shot cross-generationally... or something. What exactly is one supposed to do with that, other than try to unlock some other secret meaning on the 84th listen? [6]

Wayne Weizhen Zhang: You luv it, but she got it. [6]

Leah Isobel: The Charli XCX Twinks are hyperprotective of their right to feel alternative and unique, so Camila ripping off the cadence and delivery of "I Got It" (not to mention the Hereditary-biting promotional video) would of course send that particular portion of the internet into overdrive. But it's the prerogative of the actual, charting popstar to execute stylistic hairpins, particularly if she's navigated the label system well enough to actually release something as chart-poisonous as "I Luv It," extra-particularly if she's already played around in this sandbox, and extra-super-particularly if the song represents the first time she's found a convincing vehicle for her unbelievably annoying energy. Honestly, I couldn't tell you why I like this so much -- maybe it's the memory of liking the similarly fried-out Lazerproof, or the maturity to recognize that to be cringe is to be human -- but I do. Sorry! If the song slaps, I can't make it not slap! [9]

Nortey Dowuona: "You two have been saying one bar is lame and the other one is awesome ALL NIGHT, and it's the same BAR?!!!" -- Troy from Community and me after four listens. [2]

Andrew Karpan: Every micro-generation gets the “I Love It” that it deserves. I love it. [10]

Ian Mathers: Look, it's not my fault that the degree of difficulty you've set yourself is "will this make the listener not want to just go listen to the classic Icona Pop/Charli XCX song 'I Love It' instead?" Credit to the post chorus and Carti's digitally slurred moan of a verse for making it a bit of a fight, but... [7]

Michael Hong: The most captivating word here is that sighed "tomorrow" right before the first chorus. Everything seems to go quiet as she breathes into it, the catharsis of having what you want in your reach, the high of forever in your sight. Cabello never sounds like she'll get there -- "I Luv It" is just one big, provocative, braindead pursuit for your attention, for you to see her as a captivating pop star -- but as her tongue darts across her lips and echoes the titular phrase over and over, there's the thrill she's been looking for. [7]

Kayla Beardslee: This is not a song, this is engagement bait. I cannot be bought this easily! Stream La Buena Vida! [3]

Jacob Sujin Kuppermann: It's odd that everyone is treating this as some kind of oddity; this is a Camila Cabello song, for God's sake! It's the same format as her big hit and the middling replicant (who cares about "Senorita"), just adapted for the current moment rather than the long 2010s; glitchy pop sounds are not some shocking play when it's been two presidential terms since "Vroom Vroom." Even the "Lemonade" sample feels correctly positioned – it's millennial dad rap, the exact kind of respectable pophead interpolation-fodder that Cabello, Carti, and producer Jasper Harris all probably loved as teenagers. "I Luv It" is a perfect showcase for Cabello's admittedly limited skillset; she sounds appropriately wan on the verses and cheerleader-ish on the chorus, comfortable with just being another element in Harris & El Guincho's anachronistic Pop 2 revival. Yet "I Luv It" reaches the mountaintop only upon Carti's arrival – the track pauses for a second before he starts his verse as if it's hard reloading; he then proceeds to duet with a synth solo, do his best Dirty Sprite 2-era Future impression, and go so incomprehensible that I'm not even sure if anyone else on the track knows what he's saying. Glorious. [9]

Dave Moore: I'm confident that everything that everyone who has scored this song a [4] or below says about it is accurate. But a clusterfuck contains multitudes. [8]

Will Adams: Above all else, it's WEIRD. Strip away the stan chatter and "I Luv It" becomes an appealingly bizarre pivot in which Cabello is enraptured by a frenetic hook, woozy synths and a potentially asymmetric meter. When Playboi Carti's smeared verse arrives, you start to feel delirious. [6]

Julian Axelrod: An unrecognizable Camila Cabello, sounding like she's trying to will herself back to 2012 and secure the Spring Breakers audition she rightfully deserves. An uninterpretable Playboi Carti, facing his biggest moment in the spotlight with a burp and a shrug. An unexplainable "Lemonade" sample, as if producer El Guincho just heard The State vs Radric Davis that morning and decided he was put on this earth to get Gucci Mane a publishing check. None of it gels, none of it makes sense in the same song, none of it even makes sense in the same breath. I can only assume Camila and Co. created this incredible, idiotic Diet Coke and Mentos monstrosity to give guys like me something to be annoying about all summer. [8]

Joshua Minsoo Kim: Was kind of thrilling when it dropped but enough time has passed where this doesn't really hold up. I can only be so amused by Camila sort of just being there (she's not doing anything particularly well, nor is she flailing in any notably outrageous manner). Carti arrives with a decent verse, and then it's over. Music to be momentarily amused by and not much else. [5]

[Read, comment and vote on The Singles Jukebox]

#camila cabello #playboy carti #music #pop #pop music #music writing #music reviews #music criticism #the singles jukebox #Youtube

5 notes · View notes

abominationvault · 10 months

Text

Session 4: Sat 15 Jul 2023

Suggested talking points: Gillian Anderson - still beautiful. David Duchovny - potato in a suit. Pasta: yay or nay? We are undecided. Double steak sandwiches. Whatever Happened To Little Sconner? Cryptid of the Week: Dipping Cheese.

Okay, so - dead frog? And the luxury maggots contained therein. Trash-Cat Luna approaches in order to splat them. She does three successive paw attacks and gets a Hero Point.

Luna and Skabb both get grabbed; Nadia juuuust squirms out of reach.

Hartvig reminds us all to try and roll some slightly higher numbers this week. Nadia takes this advice to heart and finally hits something - not only that, but she scores a crit and kills a maggot! Skabb goes one better and gets a crit on her third attack, killing another! Joto gets stuck in a door, and has to wait for a human to come and open it for him.

He kills the last maggot with a flashy throw of his dagger. Skabb wants to wear the empty dead frog. The DM allows this, for reasons known only to him. She makes a Nature check; 13. There’s something distinctive about the damage to the frog. Not from the maggots - she believes the legs were bitten off by something else.

Luna can see they were bitten off by some kind of draconic creature; there are burn marks around the leg bones. She thinks it was a river-drake. Does she have a sketch of one of those in her pocket, by any chance? No, but Nadia remembers the most about dragons. Drakes are primitive draconic monsters, with only a fraction of the power of their cousins. They are much less cunning, as well. They are known for forming raiding parties known as rampages. They are Large.

Sprocket’s little ears can hear distant buzzing. Not like the maggots being farmed by the mitflits. We have a think. What do maggots turn into…?

(Skabb wants to know if she can hack the face off the frog and bring it with her. She can, she is told, so she does.)

Joto knows that the flies that come from these maggots are hard to hit, even though they’re the size of people. He also knows they carry diseases. Delightful! He recounts a tale of a previous exploits in the jungle, where he learned of these creatures.

Luna and Nadia approach a closed door - they notice some scribbles on the floor outside it. The writing is childish, but they can’t read it. We could try and make Skabb read it, but that isn’t likely to go well. Please…?

“It’s not about pleases, words are evil!” she shrieks. If we ask Grabby-Cat nicely, she might read it for us and tell Skabb what it says. We remember that she left Grabby-Cat standing guard further back; Skabb calls her back and has her read it. She makes an Intelligence check, as it’s in Mitflit and not Gobbo. 15; ‘Important - here be Buzzy-Wuzz. Keep it well fed, by order of Boss Skrawnig.’

Joto heard, “Joto should go back and get a dead mitflit, open the door and fling it in”. How strange, that’s what the rest of us heard as well.

He fetches a dead mitflit and cautiously opens the door. Inside is a watch post, full of animal carcasses and entrails. He slings the mitflit in, does a gross cat-retch, and presses back around the corner, peering back in to see what happens.

Nadia and Luna move back, readying attacks in case the fly attacks us. Sprocket stands there looking at us all.

The buzzing gets louder. Those of us who can see this:

Through the now open door we see another fly appear. The first is about the size of a pony, and shiny blue and green. It has been painted with something, probably by the mitflits. The second is a more drab colour. A third, mucky-brown one squeezes in through the window as we watch.

Joto shuts the door.

Luna has some black adder poison; could she slap it on a dead mitflit and fling it in? Well, it’s a venom, not a poison, so we would need to get it into the bloodstream. Oh well. She gets a Hero Point for the scheme.

We need some giant flypaper. Or an aerosol and a lighter. Skabb could Tanglefoot one…? We don’t need to kill these things, but if we don’t they’ll be buzzing around outside later on. Especially since we killed the mitflits that were feeding them. Would cold magic make them sluggish, maybe?

Sprocket thinks he has a spell that might do something, but it’ll take a round to charge. Traps and snares aren’t likely to do much since they’re floor-based, and flies, well… fly.

We arrange a surprise attack, since the flies don’t know we’re here. Sprocket readies his spell, Skabb and Hartvig prepare spells too, Nadia readies a shot, and Joto and Luna prepare to dart in and do melee strikes. Augustus will do some smashing.

Joto opens the door…

Sprocket fires off his spell: Horizon Thunder Sphere. He rolls a 7 to attack, then a 5. All is not lost - the spell explodes and does damage to the adjacent two flies instead. (He sparkles with electrical energy.) The flies make their saves - one takes no damage but the other takes half.

Skabb does her Clinging Ice spell; her target crit-fails its Reflex save and takes double damage!

DM, sadly: “Poor Buzzy-Wuzz.”

Skabb, on a roll, casts Ray of Frost on Buzzy-Wuzz. 20 to hit and 8 Cold damage!

Nadia hits with her shot, for another whopping two damage. She reloads and crouches down.

Hartvig steps over Sprocket as he walks toward the door and does Cry of Destruction, hitting all three flies.

Joto: “Is it a shout, or are you just crying?”

Hartvig, weeping: “It’s not a phase!”

The flies make their Fortitude saves and take half damage. Clearly flies don’t understand emo culture.

Joto darts past Hartvig into the room and gets stuck in the wall on his way in. He springs over the flies so he can attack from behind. He goes for Buzzy-Wuzz with his rapier, hitting for 7 damage and gets the Howdy-Doodis! He carves a J into its back.

Hartvig: “I loosened it for you.”

Joto then does an action called You’re Next:

He rolls an 18 on his Intimidation check.

Sprocket: “Undermine it emotionally! Gaslight it!”

That was a free action so Joto attacks one of the remaining ones, misses, and uses a Hero Point to reroll: “Ah, piss.” He gets the Hero Point back for being awesome though, so not all is lost.

Luna is hidden, and also stuck in the wall. She gets unstuck, and leans around Hartvig to take a shot. She misses, uses a Hero Point to reroll, and misses again. She closes her Roll20 window in her excitement, and there is a short pause while she reopens it. She bounds in to attack with her rapier, and misses with that as well.

Pretty good surprise round, all considered! With that, we roll Initiative…

So it turns out that Hartvig’s curse has kicked in, so anyone within ten feet of him is in his ashy aura and is considered Concealed. Double edged sword, though, because they can't see out of it either. Sprocket Spouts one of the flies. “He’s getting a dungeon bidet.”

Hartvig casts Produce Flame and hits one for 4 fire damage. He moves out of the way, taking his ash cloud with him. He gets a Pity Point from the DM. “I accept.”

One of the flies exits the room and attacks Sprocket for 5 damage with its mandibles. It goes in for another bite, but misses. The other fly bites at Joto “with his mandi-blez”, then at Luna - and flies away toward Nadia.

She shoots but misses, reloads and crouches down.

Luna takes some shots, but misses.

Skabb uses her first action to try and puke away her sickness, but fails her Fortitude save. She flings an Electric Arc at the flies - they fail their saves and takes 6 damage each.

Joto runs back out of the room and throws a grappling hook at one of the flies. It misses, so he shoots with his crossbow instead. That misses as well.

Sprocket can’t reach the flies - but Augustus can. Sprocket does another spout of water at the fly nearest him, but it makes its save. While it’s dodging out of the way, Augustus swats it with a 23 to attack! 5 damage, yeah.

Hartvig moves, and casts Guidance on Nadia. Good thing too, because one of the flies attacks her. It hits, but she can add the Guidance point to the secret roll the DM makes for her. Its second attack misses. Embarrassed, it turns to attack Sprocket instead and hits him for 4. The second fly bites at Joto (miss), Augustus (miss) and Sprocket (miss).

Nadia shoots, misses, and crouches down shielding Skabb as she does so.

Luna springs out of the room and rapiers one of the flies - 17 hits for 3 damage, and she does a little cat-dance. The thing is now dripping fly gunk and flying on the wonk. “Gross.” The fly uses Avoid the Swat:

Skabb tries another Tactical Vom, but fails. “You’d think I’d be good at puking.” She shoots another Ray of Frost at the one trying to flee. She gets a Howdy-Doodis! It freezes and shatters into, quote, “delicious little chunks”.

Joto uses Augustus to get some air time, and leaps at the last fly for some mid-air rapier action. 23 hits! Upon the landing he takes another swing. Howdy-Doodis! He cuts the wings off, and it explodes on the floor.

Joto does some healing for Skabb, who pukes enough to make herself better, and then runs around the room hoovering up the bits of dead fly. Full again, she uses her healing mud to try and heal Sprocket but rolls too low. She does the same for Augustus, and rolls much better. Fortunately they share a hit point pool so Sprocket gets healed anyway.

Joto heals Luna, and Hartvig tries to heal Nadia but rolls too low. Hartvig has also stopped emitting so much dust. Nobody was unalived! We’re getting better at this. Time to move on! ... Next week.

#dnd #pathfinder #abomination vaults #abomination vaults spoilers

8 notes · View notes

nomoneytoplay · 6 months

Text

Prince of Persia (2008)

Bought for: $1.99

Played on: PC

Release date: December 2, 2008

Developer: Ubisoft Montreal

Publisher: Ubisoft

Game Type: Platform game, Action-adventure game, Adventure

Platforms: Android, Microsoft Windows, PlayStation 3, Xbox 360, macOS, Classic Mac OS, Java Platform, Micro Edition

ESRB Rating: T for Teen - Alcohol Reference, Mild Language, Mild Suggestive Themes, Violence

Pros & Cons

A brand new Prince!

Graphics are stunning.

Superb voice acting.

PARKOUR!

The classic hack and slash the series is known for.

A huge map to explore with different paths to unlock.

While the map may be impressive, yourself parkouring around in circles. Which at one point the world will start to feel empty.

Enemy designs are cool, however same enemy, same area.

Four unique bosses and encounters. However…..

Combat is very repetitive.

Glowing seeds to collect all over the map.

My Experience:

Before the acclaimed Assassin’s Creed franchise was born, Ubisoft's greatest parkour master game was the Prince of Persia. An epic tale of a warrior prince and unique rewinding time ability that was always fun to do. But to create something new, Ubisoft made a total 180 on this game, no longer would the Prince be ... .uhm a Prince. But he would be a (I guess) traveling thief who has lost his donkey………one word: AWESOME!

This new Prince is now my favorite, THAT”S NOTHING MORE TO SAY!!

A Score of~~~

Okay Okay I’m kidding!

Prince of Persia is a game where you are immediately sucked into its plot. Helping a young woman named Elika to stop the curse that has left her kingdom ruined and her people dead. While you are playing as the “hero” of this game, The Prince behaves more like an anti-hero than anything else, cocky, a bit arrogant and flirtatious when given the chance. This is what makes this game worth it. The interaction between Prince and Elika is so much fun, there’s a button where you can have them speak to one another at any given time. Elika will fight alongside Prince, so if you parry or activate any special move, Elika will provide a hand. But here’s the issue of this game, Elika will always prevent Prince’s death. From falling off the platforms or enemies about to deliver the final blow.

Safely put this game has no game over!

As amazing as this sounds, it kinda takes away from the difficulty of this game, if there really is one. You see, while playing Prince of Persia, the game does feature four interesting bosses. These bosses have some unique story backgrounds, they all were in charge of different parts of the map which gives them a cool intake of who they were. But while the part of the world is challenging and enemies themselves are unique. It will be the same boss battle hack and slash encounter over and over again.

The maps themselves also feature some challenging paths that are unlocked through story progression. It adds more to the parkour challenge and they are a challenge. One mistake and you would have to start all over again.

As much as I can nitpick a person’s upper strength to climb and jump all the obstacles in this game. This is (like I said) not the most typical Prince of Persia game, but I enjoyed it so much. Simple to play on keyboard, beautiful graphics and character interactions that make up for the amount of ideas this could have had. This is an adventure that your two dollars investment will be proud to spend!

OH! It has been 15 years and he still hasn’t found his donkey…

A Lost Donkey Score of 3 out 4 Quarters.

#nomoneytoplay #playstation #video games #gamereview #pc games #xbox #review #ubisoft #classic #parkour

2 notes · View notes

lavenoon · 1 year

Note

Warning: My brain will narrate dreams instead of showing me when music is playing. This got very long. sorry

Every covert mission. Every high state high security gathering and party. Every time there is intel to gather. He's there. A bright blue animatronic.

No matter how they go about it, no matter how many times they check the lists, he appears without fail and yet he doesn't exist. The Agency has been trying to track them for months now and yet it always seems he is one step ahead of them.

At gatherings for targets of shady businesses he is always there and yet no agent can get close. He always seems to just be out of reach, never interacting with the agents; dismissing himself from a group before an agent can get close to him.

The only times he's not seen at events the Agency 'attends', there ends up being nothing to collect or gather. These events always end up being busts, sometimes these events end badly.

Agents have started considering it to be a bad omen when he doesn't appear.

Undercover missions aren't the only ones being affected. Stealth and infiltration missions to steal information have their own mystery target.

Stakeout Agents will spend days to weeks planning on how to create a distraction, disable a security system, find some way into their target's location only for the perfect opportunity to present itself to them time and time again.

Sudden blackouts, guard schedule changes, false alarm security alerts calling for guard backup leaving high guarded rooms empty.

All thought to be coincidence, until an agent hacks into a target's computer to find a strange program running. A program that starts appearing on more and more missions that agents hadn't noticed before then. A game of Snake.

At a glance, it simply looks like someone left a game running. It isn't until you look closer that you realize the game is playing itself with the snake getting shorter, not longer. The score appears to count down with each passing second instead of raising.

The poor agent to see the score hit zero had realized too late what it was.

The building's lights and systems that had been previously shut down had been restored. The "game" deleting itself with the reboot erasing any proof of its existence. The score had been a timer, and the agent was out of time.

Missions after that, agents kept an eye out for any devices that were stilled powered on despite these 'blackouts'. Didn't matter what the device was, a computer, a tablet, a digital clock or watch. It was there. A game of snake counting down.

Agents learned to not stick around for the end of these countdowns, getting out as soon as possible knowing what will happen if they don't.

Months pass with no luck catching their mystery animatronic or mystery hacker. No knowledge of what they could want every found.

It isn't until a field Agent reports a high priority target they've been tracking, who had gone into hiding awhile back, has been found knocked out next to a mysterious crate.

The crate was filled with files of many of their targets that they never could quite catch; pictures, reports, evidence that would let them catch these people all inside the crate.

However, that is not what caught their eye. What had caught their eye was a simple card on top. The card said:

We all pretend to be the heroes on the good side, but what if we're the villains on the other

and just below the phrase, signed in bright Neon Blue letters:

Viper : )

The dream ended there. It was such a trip having this narrated inside my own head while sleeping but was really fun. Makes me wish i knew how to write stories; this would have been so fun to continue.

Anyway, I hope you have a wonderful day/night dear, Take Care!

: )

OOOHHHH

Okay okay I finally have time to give this the attention it deserves - and ooooooohhhhhhhhh!!!!

I'm vibrating in my seat - do I spy (hehe) an animatronic agentsona? I am LOOKING so very very intently at that ooohhhh that's so cool. AND OFC IT'S SNAKE OH MY GOD snake as timer is so so cool I love that I am. Ohh mischievous chaotic guardian angel, I love love love that!! Can't wait for the Viper to join the agency hehehe <3

Also also hell yeah grey morality!! The Agency is definitely shady and mingling amongst people acting in kind, I love that reminder as a little greeting card!!

(Also wdym you wish you knew how to write stories - you wrote this down, too, it came from your brain! Write that continuation, if it's not up to your own standards, remember that without you, it wouldn't be there at all! <3)

Been having a really nice day so far! Got paperwork done, took a walk, found a rock, and am now back home and cozy, writing some and answering asks! Hope the day has been kind to you too, you take care too! Food, water, rest, stretch - self care check! <3

#answer let luce #agent viper asks #accidentally undercover #it counts shhh #also the self care check is for everyone reading this #affectionate threat <3 take care or else <3 #one step ahead more like one slither ahead ehehehe #(someone hits me over the back of the head but I only laugh more)#very lighthearted but the anime joker in the yt vid took me out #certainly did not expect him there FGDHSJ

12 notes · View notes

eddxe-munsxn · 2 years

Text

Pretty Little Distraction (E.M.)

summary: eddie was doing some d&d prep in the hellfire room when you stopped by to give him notes for miss o’donnell’s class. one thing leads to another and you end up getting yourself off by riding his thigh while he desperately tries to focus on prep (and fails miserably)

warnings: smut (18+ minors dni), flirting, dry humping, thigh riding, hair pulling, dirty talk, pet names (princess, baby girl, buttercup, sweetheart)

word count: 1.6k

pairing: eddie munson x afab!reader

a/n: this is my first ever published fic pls be nice im sensitive. proofread by my lovely bff who has a degree minoring in english.

The sky is a rich peach color as the sun hangs low over the mountains as you make your way to the Hellfire Club meeting room. Autumn is in full swing in Hawkins as an evening chill causes you to cross your forearms over your chest and walk a bit faster from the library across campus to the building where you know Eddie will be.

The door is slightly ajar when you arrive and you nudge it open gently. You find Eddie alone in the dimly but warmly lit room engrossed in his Dungeon Master's Guide and Monster Manual. He is seated comfortably on his throne, at the head of the table. You can’t help but notice how handsome Eddie was when fully concentrated on something he’s passionate about. Seeing him so focused, so passionate about something he loved, enchanted you. Making you see him in a light that you only have once before. The only other time you’ve seen him in this state was when you saw Corroded Coffin perform live. A truly remarkable experience you can’t wait to have again.

“Hey, Eddie.”

Eddie startles at the sound of your voice and knocks a few dice across the table. “Jesus, Y/N. You’d make an excellent rogue with stealth skills like that. Scared the absolute shit outta me” He laughs lightly and rubs his face in frustration. “To what do I owe the pleasure of your arrival?”

“Just here to drop off the study guide for Miss O'Donnell's exam on Monday. I know this quarter has been a bitch to pass,” you say, sliding the set of papers out of your binder and setting them on the table between the two of you.

Eddie slides that towards himself, “Thanks, Y/N. You’re a true hero.” His eyes meet yours as he gives you a heart-wrenching smile.

He’s been doing that a lot lately. Or rather, you’ve been noticing him a lot lately. Noticing him in different and more intense ways than before. The way his eyes crinkle and light up when he’s telling a story, the way his hands delicately and expertly roll a blunt, the way his lips wrap around said blunt…

“Y/N?” Eddie’s question draws you out of your thoughts.

“Hm?” You hum completely distracted and now feeling nervous butterflies in your stomach.

“I said can you help me figure something out really quickly?” He places a pencil between his teeth and brushes his curls out of his face and uses his fingers to comb his hair into a messy bun.

Your eyes follow his every movement and you find yourself enamored by how beautiful this man is. Just performing a mundane action like pulling his hair up out of his face, demands your admiration of his features. Your cheeks are warm and your abdomen tightens. “Y-yeah. What’s up?” You move around to his side of the table so he can show you what he’s working on.

Your arm brushes his as he explains a few plot points of the campaign that are pertinent to his inquiry. “…so I want a way to allow the players to break Vecna’s curse that isn’t just a hack and slash, I want there to be a loophole. But I can’t figure out what it should be. My initial thought was ‘the power of music’ but I don’t want the use of real-life music to disrupt the imagination and fantasy of playing the game.”

“You could write your own score to go along with the theme of your campaign, but I’m sure that would be more work than you bargained for.” An idea comes to mind from your favorite childhood movie, “What about love? True love’s kiss worked out for Aurora’s curse, why not Vecna’s?” Your eyes meet Eddie’s as you say this and you’re suddenly aware of how close the two of you are. Of how flecks of gold dance in his eyes in time with the flickering candlelight. Your nervousness envelops you and you attempt to backtrack, “No, never mind that’s cliche and dumb.” You say cheeks flushed, shaking your head and causing your hair to fall in front of your face in an attempt to hide your embarrassment.

Eddie reaches up to hook a finger under your chin and gently forces you to look at him. “Y/N, sweetheart. There are no dumb ideas in D&D.” Your breath hitches at the pet name.

“Eds, p-please don’t call me that.” You try to turn away but his grip on your chin holds firm.

“What would you rather me call you then, hm? Princess? Buttercup?” He asks teasingly. Then his eyes darkened, “Baby girl?”

“Munson! I told you how that pet name affects me in confidence while I was high. How dare you use that against me?!” The timbre of his voice calling you ‘baby girl’ sends tingles directly to your core and forces you to clench your thighs together in a feeble attempt to control your physiological reactions and desires.

“I think you’re forgetting who’s in control here, darling,” Eddie whispers, still forcing you to face him. He’s never looked at you this way before, the longing, the hunger.

Still flushed with your desire for him growing by the second, you bite your lip. His controlling attitude makes you weak at the knees. His eyes leave yours and drop down to your lips. A slight sound escapes him as he pulls your face to his and captures your mouth with his own. You immediately lean into the kiss, having dreamt about this moment for months.

His lips are softer than you imagined and he tastes sweet from the candy he’s been snacking on. His tongue glides along your lower lip and you sigh into the kiss, allowing his tongue to slide against your own. He lets both hands rest on your waist as he guides you to straddle one of his legs. You rake your fingers into his hair at the nape of his neck, curl them and tug lightly. The groan that escapes him is delicious and goes directly to your now throbbing pussy.

After a few moments, he pulls away and leans his forehead against yours, panting to catch his breath. “God… sorry.. I’ve been wanting to do that forever.”

You smile at him and brush your nose with his, “No apology needed, Ed. I have, too.”

He brushes his nose with yours and gives you a chaste peck on the lips before sighing, “I don’t want to leave you hanging right now, but I really need to finish this campaign prep for our next session.”

A small whine leaves you as you brush your lips against his and whisper, “Just gonna leave me all hot and bothered, Munson?”

“I’m sorry, baby girl. I have to get this done.” You grind your hips down onto his thigh, creating much-needed friction between his denim clan leg and your aching clit. The growing heat in your abdomen and the feeling of your slickness between your folds gets more intense. You moan and tug harder at his hair, causing him to nip at your neck and growl. “Princess, please, I can’t.”

You grind down again, fingertips digging into his shoulder blades as you gasp, “Eddie! Oh, Eddie, please.”

He groans again as he peppers kisses on your neck and suckles the soft flesh where your neck meets your shoulder. The sensation combined with the pressure on your clit makes your head spin. “Fuck yes, baby girl. So needy for me, hm? Need me so bad you’re gonna ride my thigh.” He continues his assault on your neck with his tongue and lips, letting one hand fondle your breast while the other lands on your hip, helping you grind down onto him. He bounces his knee a bit as you gyrate your hips down onto him, the shock of the alternating pressure on your clit elicits a mewl from you. “Tell me what you need, baby girl.”

You can feel the tightness in your abdomen getting tighter with every kiss, nip, twist of your nipple, bounce of his leg, and use of ‘baby girl’. The pet name makes you absolutely feral for him. The warmth of your core becomes red hot, getting so close to your climax. “Oh, fuck, Eddie. You. I need you. You make me feel so good, Ed.” Your lips find his again as your rocking and gyrating onto him gets faster, hips beginning to stutter with your impending orgasm. “Shit, baby, I’m so close.”

“Cum for me, baby girl.” He growls into your ear before latching onto that sensitive spot on your neck, sucking, nipping, and kissing. The request almost sounded like a demand and that domineering tone sends you over the edge.

“Eddie, oh my god.” You gasp as you slow your pace, riding out your high. You kiss him a few times, some slow, some chaste. “Fuck, that was amazing, Ed.” You brush your nose with his before gently kissing the tip of his nose.

“Yeah, princess? I’m glad you feel good, baby girl. You’re so fucking hot, especially when you’re gasping out my name.” He places a hand on each of your cheeks and tilts your head so he can place a gentle kiss on your forehead. “Now we can definitely continue this later, but right now I have a few more balancing things I need to wrap up for the campaign.”

You nod, snaking your arms from around his shoulders and standing up. “Continue this later?” You ask with a small smile.

He grins back at you, lips bruised and pupils blown wide. “Only if you want to, princess. But I really do need to get this done, my pretty little distraction.” He grabs your hand and kisses your knuckles. “Gimme like fifteen minutes, okay?”

“Okay.”

33 notes · View notes