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#school stress me out so i draw something else
aphelion-i-c · 1 year
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arknights rkgk variety
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disposal-blueeee · 8 months
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VARGASTOBER - day 1 : edgar vargas
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saiidahyunie · 2 months
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ballroom extravaganza
minatozaki sana x f!reader || cont. of fake and true ! pt.3 here
synopsis: you scored the date with the girl from the bar, things are shaping up for the better (maybe/maybe not), and your cousin mina is starting to raise some suspicions.  
warnings: fluff ; smut!! ; sana giving/recieving ; reader recieving/giving ; fucking in the car/office/bedroom (freaky deaky) :D ; sana being needy ; sana praising ; cursing ; anything else i didn't let y'all know ; might be proofread
a/n: dang y'all really like sana don't ya? (bias wrecking me ill never recover) hope you guys enjoy this second part as much as the first one!
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you’re basically jumping out of your own skin when you hear the knock on your door, and twirl around to see the bedside clock. 
8:29 
a minute early. you’d be impressed to keep the hefty lunch in your stomach to not vomit it out. 
“coming!” you cry out, before taking a second to fuss with your current appearance. you played it simple, the flashiest part of the red dress that shuhua loaned you. like the black one, it’s slim-fitting and short, the neckline cutting above the swell of your breasts. your lips are a stained deep red, just to match. tzuyu always said to you that the color was striking for you to pull off. 
after straightening the dress, you step out of your room and walk towards the entryway of the door, taking a second to toe on your black pumps. and then, with a steady exhale, you open the door. 
sana stands on the other side of it, one hand in her pocket of your black slacks and the other carrying a bouquet of roses that she promptly shoves at your chest. you take them, cradling to your body, and look up to find her already gazing at you, eyes raking from the top of your head and down. again and again. 
“hey.” 
“hi.” you smile at her. “these are really beautiful, thank you.”
sana jerks her head in acknowledgement, and you can see the faintest flush of pink spreading to the tips of her ears. you bite your lip as you set the flowers down, staving off the rare urge to giggle. 
she’s still standing by the door, holding her arm out. “so are you ready to go?” 
you take it, curling a hand around her bicep, letting her lead you out. “please.”
“alright,” sana says, laying her menu flat on the table, staring at you with grave seriousness. “speak.” 
“huh?” you look away from the giant, crystal chandelier hanging above you two. the restaurant she’d take you to was only slightly less fancier than the one at the four seasons hotel. 
slightly. 
“i can tell you want to say something.” 
you smile nervously. “yeah, about your driving, maybe. i thought we were gonna—” 
“y/n.” she says firmly; it has the same affect as dumping a bucket of ice water over your head. “no bullshit. you might as well say what you wanna say.” 
“fine.” and this is easy to sink into, your mode of no-nonsense: the compartmentalization of what stresses you. “why did you give me the money?” 
“because i wanted to.” 
“i know, but why? did you feel bad for me?”
“a little.” 
you grit your teeth. “did you pity me?” 
“no.” 
“then what?” 
“i’ve been in your position before. kind of.” 
“what do you mean.” 
“struggling college student, a shitty job, caming from harebrained ways to get money. everyone who’s gone on the path to grad school, doesn’t matter if it’s med, law, blah blah blah whatever, knows how fucking hard it is to survive.” 
your cheeks flush from sana’s words, picking at the white table cloth. “so you empathized with me?” 
“basically.” sana says, sitting back in her chair, smiling at you. your eyes follow along the lazy draw of it. “i didn’t expect you to be so difficult about it.” 
“it’s not like it’s common to give strangers hundreds of dollars within an hour of meeting them. forgive me for being concerned.”
“do you still want to give the money back to me?” sana asks. 
“yes.” 
“okay. then let’s change the subject.” diverting to the basic cookie cutter icebreaker in existence. “what are you majoring in?” 
“sana—”
she reaches across the table and grabs your hand, squeezing it slightly. dazzling brown eyes swallow up your field of vision as she leans into you. “what are you majoring in?”
you bite your tongue. you don’t want to relent into sana’s charms; mina would have your head if she knew that sana was running away with it. but she’s making it so so easy, smiling when you answer, “i’m finishing up my bachelor’s in child education. aiming to get my masters in child’s psychology.”
“you like kids?” 
“yeah,” you reply, visibly softening to sana. “last summer i did my internship at a local kindergarten and i love it. kids are…easy in a way that people aren’t.” 
“what do you mean?”
“they don’t expect anything from you. not anything beyond food or water or playtime. you know, nothing super sophisticated or adult. and they’re easy to talk to. they don’t care what you say to them or if you don’t talk much in general. they’re not judgy and it’s nice.” you hit that right out of the ballpark, and sana stares with lips parted as the facts are laid out for you. 
“i’ve never thought about them that way,” she says, her hand shifting atop your own. her thumb skims across your knuckles. “it sounds nice.” 
your heart thrums like a hummingbird against the walls of your chest. every languid caress pulls a shiver from you. “you don’t like kids?” 
“i don’t dislike them. i’m neutral, i guess. i know i’d like to have my own.” sana replies. 
“do you have any siblings?” 
“nope. i’m an only child.”
“i would’ve never guessed,” you say dryly. 
“ha! has anyone told you you’re funny?” sana inquires, and you’re stifling a laugh while she’s smiling at you, gaze fond. “what about you?” 
“well, i’m an only child.” you reply. normally you’d leave it at this. you don’t really like the notion of getting into the nitty-gritty of your past, but sana’s presence robs any reticence from you. “my parents passed when i was younger so i was raised by my aunt and her cousin.” 
“oh.” sana slips her fingers into the spaces of your own and squeezes gently again. “i’m so sorry.” 
“it’s okay,” you say, smiling awkwardly. “it happened when i was little. i’m kind of accustomed to it now.” 
“can i ask you a question?” 
“a personal one?”
the corner of sana’s mouth quirks. you want to trace it with your fingers.
“if you were in that desperate of a situation, why didn’t you ask her for help?” 
“i can’t afford to take any money from my aunt or cousin. she can’t afford it.” 
“did you try asking?” 
“i’m not saying she would’ve said no. but if she tried, i wouldn’t have accepted it.” 
“sounds startlingly familiar.” 
you pull your hand from hers with a smile and an eye roll before picking up the menu in front of the table, raising it up high enough to cover sana’s face. 
“can we order something now?”
when you get back in the car, you’re warm, languid with a stomach full of risotto and red wine. sana’s hand rests on the gear shift between you, the other one on her wheel. you like watching the motion of them as she drive, like the curls of sana’s knuckles and the rasp her palm makes against the wheel when she turns it. you wish to feel the warmth of it against your leg. 
well, in a city like new york, it’s nothing more than unpleasant. 
“you know i wasn’t kidding when i told you that you’re a horrible driver.” 
“do you own a car, y/n?” 
 “i usually take the subway.” 
“okay. pro-tip if you ever do drive in these streets, better to be offensive than dead. or stuck in traffic for two hours. which, believe it or not, is fucking worse.” 
but despite sana’s words, she seems to listen to you. the drive stretches longer, and you lean into the plush leather seats as you stare out the window, dreading the sight of every familiar building, the street signs that you know lead to your apartment. for a moment, you debate asking to get ice cream, or go to the park, a movie theater–-anything and everything to extend this. you don’t want to leave the pleasant warmth of her car. 
“y/n?” 
you look over to see her smile. “i thought you were asleep.” 
“i’m not tired.”
she takes her hand off the gear shift, thumbs a lock of your hair without breaking your gaze. unwavering. 
“neither am i.” 
when she pulls into your squat, little apartment complex, you’re gripping the edge of your seat, nails squeaking against the buttery leather. she smoothly pulls into an empty space, parking backwards—what a show off—-before turning to you. with as huddled into the seat as you were, her hand is behind the headers, arm bracketing you, you feel consumed. surrounded by her scent, in her car, the engine humming beneath them, with her so close. you can’t breathe without inhaling her.
sana’s noticed it too. her eyes have gone dark, swallowed by her pupils. 
“i had fun,” she says. 
“me too.” 
her mouth twitches. “you gonna try giving me the money back now?” 
you jolt at the reminder, bending to snatch you purse, but sana’s hand flies from her headrest to your hand, hot over your knee.
“i was kidding. i don’t want it back. i don’t need it.”
“sana—” 
“y/n.” she interrupts firmly. “i don’t need it. and in my opinion, i think you can do a hell of a lot more.” 
your defenses waiver before they crumble completely, and you feel your chin wobble. to your horror. “you’re too nice to me.” 
she grabs it, pressing her thumb into the plush of your bottom lip. your stomach clenches as sana’s eyes flicker down, anticipation making your headlight. 
“i don’t think i’m nice enough,” she whispers, but it barely registers. you’re already reaching for her, mouth open to beg; hand on her wrist, and she meets you half-way, swallowing your muted please. 
sana’s kiss is desperate, intense like the rest of her. one hand buried in your hair while the other presses against your knee, a searing, overbearing heat that sinks into your insides, coiling tingly in the pit of your gut. despite your furious protestations to tzuyu, you haven’t felt this in a while, the wet-warmth of another mouth against your own, the life of someone else’s tongue, opening you up further. 
you press closer, so frantic you almost climb over the armrest, but sana pushes you back down to your seat. she breaks away from your mouth to kiss down the line of your throat, flicking her tongue out to taste your overheated skin, smiling when you sigh. your hips jerk beneath her hold when she sucks at your pulse point. 
she grins, teeth nipping at your jawline. “you like that, sweetie?” 
there’s a shock-wire running from the heat of her mouth to her clit. sana’s barely touched you and you’re already keyed-up, on the cusp of euphoria. if you touched yourself now, you’d be so far gone, but you’re not sure she’d let you.
sana returns to kissing your throat, pausing to suckle at it with teeth and tongue, laving it against your skin in soft, wet strokes. she uses the hand in your hair to tilt your neck towards her, directing you like a puppet on strings. her other hand roves up and down your exposed thigh in gentle motions, more exploratory than anything, as if she can’t keep from touching you. and the thought sends a jolt of electricity to pass through you, sparking between your legs. it makes your hips can’t, makes the desperate need for friction a burying, voracious thing, primed to consume you. 
when she kisses the swell of your bottom lip, it comes out of you in a breathless pant, nails biting the seat. “p-please touch me.” 
“where?” sana asks, thumbing the hem of your dress, close enough to be a physical pain. “where, baby? here?”
“n-no.” 
“then where, y/n?” your eyes are black, eager with predatory intent, and you hate how much you love it; the consuming weight of her attention, like she wants to eat you whole. 
without much coronation, you take sana’s hand and shove it between your thighs, spreading them wide. you’re initially afraid that she’ll keep teasing you, that she’s lost in the power trip, but she surprises you when she groans and kisses you roughly, fingers tracing up your slit. 
“so fucking wet you are,” sana raps when she breaks away, almost crazed. she dips her hand beneath the waistband of your panties, the sensation of her fingers against your sensitive skin sending your eyes rolling. your hips buck, demanding delicious friction, and she surges in, laughing into your mouth. 
“you can cum just like this, can’t you?” she asks, voice rumbling against your cheek. her thumb slides up and down the seam of your cunt, the heel of her palm adding the barest pressure to your clit, but it’s good. the mere taste of it almost enough to send you over the edge, just for the sweet torture. 
her knuckles pull against the gusset of your panties as two of her fingers center over your clit. her pace at first is light, slow, exploratory like the way it’d been on your leg. her eyes on your face are focused. she wants to know what’ll take you to the edge, and you know it isn’t this. so you grab sana’s wrist and raise your hips to force pressure. 
“faster,” you pant, liquid gaze cutting to her. “h-harder. i like it–” 
she steals the words from you, kissing again with a mouth full of bite. the motions of sana’s fingers quicken, slide down to the tease of your e trance while you grind frantically into her palm. you’re so wet you easily accept the glide of her first finger, and when she pushes in the second, the stretch is sweet, a welcome thing. you thrust onto them, wishing vainly that she’d toss you into the backseat and fuck you with something more.
the thought makes you clench around her, and she curses loudly, burying her face into your sweaty neck. 
“are you always this depsrate when you’re getting fucked?” sana hisses, thrusting her fingers into you harder, without relent. “you always feel this good?” 
you choke out a sob, feeling the familiar swoop in your belly, the swelling tide that welcomed euphoria. as you clutch her wrist, chasing it, sana rests her head atop your shoulder, her voice going soft, reverent. 
“you’re so good, y/n,” she says in a frantic stream, mad with want. “so good. so, so fucking good. my perfect girl.” 
you keen when it washes over you, that white-hot heat that robs you of sense. you shudder beneath sana’s grip, clutching her wrist as you ride it out. she helps you come down from it, kissing you languidly and keeping her pace inside you slow. when you can breathe again, she pulls them out of you. you flush hotly when she sticks her fingers in her mouth, but the embarrassment doesn’t linger long. you surge toward her, hands flying towards the button of her pants. meets her in another frantic kiss.
“i wanna make you feel good now,” you whisper, palming her. “i want—”
sana uses her hand in your hair to bind you up against her and kisses you again, long and full enough to make the words melt from your tongue. you’re hazy when she pulls away, pliant. 
“i think,” she says. “that there’s always next time.” 
“next time?”
“next time,” sana repeats, rubbing your cheek with her thumb. “it’s late anyway. you should go to bed.” 
“oh,” you say blankly. “okay.”
sana kisses you again, twice on your nose, before leaning over to open your door. you stumble out of her car, binding your purse tight against your chest. you wave at her from the entrance of her building before you step inside, and see the shadow of sana’s hand as she waves back, driving off. when she turns onto the street, you rush inside, a hot, sharp balloon swelling in your chest. 
your hands shake when you slot the key into your door and turn the knob, switching on the lights. you kick your shoes off and toss the purse onto the couch, moving on muscle memory. you can’t think beyond the warm, floaty haze that’s clouded your mind, and when you shut the door behind you, you laugh. 
over and over. carelessly. all the while remembering the firm grip of sana’s hand and the scent of her, clogging your nose even now, a smell you want to bottle up and keep. 
next time, you think, giddy, nearly dancing in the small space. she said there’d be a next time. 
just then, you hear the high trill of your phone and dart to the couch, yanking open your purse to fish it out. you flush a pink when you notice the notification next to sana’s name– a text that reads, goodnight- and as you go to type your response, another notification pops up. one from venmo. 
a cold spike of adrenaline shoots through you when the app opens, fingers trembling. you almost drop your phone entirely at the number attached: $1,000 dollars. 
“for school,” it reads. 
your breath quickens. the hot balloon in your chest expands and expands until it pops, a physical pain against your ribcage.
i thought— your eyes burn. the realization sinks into your like molasses. i thought she—
the night you met sana, she expressed concern when she learned why you were there. she’d condemned jihyo and implied that you deserved something more, something better. she’d left you money as a gift, to be kind. 
a gift, sana told you. you don’t owe me anything. 
so why is it, then, that you have the distinct impression that jihyo had been simply outbid. 
you’re thinking about next time. sana said that there’d be a next time. 
that next time would come, then twice.
then a third.
and after.
the day after that, and the day even after that. 
the room is reverberating the echoes around you, loud with the sounds of heavy pants and wet slaps of skin. you’re clinging to the sheets beneath you, pushing yourself up, moving your hips to meet the frantic pace of sana's fingers curled up inside you. sana then buries a hand into your hair and hitches you up for a kiss that never takes. it’s broken quickly, leaves both of your swollen mouths parted and breathing of each other’s oxygen. you’re relishing the intimacy of the moment. 
when the building pressure at the base of your stomach grows to become too overwhelming, you fall back on the mattress, unmoored without sana’s presence, but she follows you as she always does. she’s binding her arm around your waist and raises you up, hand cupping your cunt while she’s all over your neck again. 
“c’mon,” sana says, voice wrecked, torn from her. “c’mon, honey, one more.” 
you gave sana the opportunity to sit on her face earlier, brown eyes flashing dark and predatory at you while you grind all over her mouth. the hot curl of her tongue relentless against you, reducing you to a living nerve ending. sana wrung out two splintering orgasms out of you, flipping you on your back before you could even recover. you loved it, and you still do, seeing all the ways that you can challenge sana. 
her slender fingers dip down to your clit again and causes you to moan loudly, rocking into her as she circles it firmly: rough, fast motions that she’s learned that you love. to bring you back to that edge quick. 
sana kisses you again, her other hand slipping to your breast above and squeezing. she’s groaning into your core, it’s making you fall deeper into the madness of your situation. 
“you’re so—” she barely mumbles out, her hand on your breast slides down to clamp the divot in your hips. sliding the pillow under the arch of your back in one seamless motion. she’s too good with her hands. “fucking unreal, and perfect.” 
her mouth against your other mouth starts the chain reaction. you’re moaning out more strain behind it. a star-burst of affection igniting in your chest. sana continues to swipe her tongue, the unyielding pressure that makes your vision swimmy, and you let go. 
you’re sobbing out while your hands are trying to find what’s left of the comforter as ecstasy steals over you. sana continues to drive her fingers and tongue into you, letting you feel it: in the air, at the base of your throat, between the rapid, uneven pacing of thrusts from her fingers. when you’re all tuckered out, the clenching fading out from your cunt, soaked with slick while it gets on different parts of your skin; from the leg, to one of your obliques, to the small peak of your boob. 
“o-okay, that’s e-enough.” 
“you taste so fucking good,” sana murmurs, mouth hot against the column of your neck. her hands trailing up and down your stomach. “when you clench around my fingers is just—” 
fucking shit this woman. “sana, please.” 
she sits up with a chuckle, and you’re at the same level too, instantly resting your head on her shoulder, kissing it. sana wraps her arm around your waist, kissing the top of your head, her fingers are tapping away at the v-line. you look up and she kisses you, grinning with delight. 
“will you stay over?” you ask, too plaintive when she pulls away. sana’s smile falters and you feeling the realization, disappointment inbound. 
“i can’t.” a spike lances through you. “my department has a meeting early in the morning. i can’t skip.” 
“oh.” you hate yourself for being upset—she’s a doctor, of course she’s busy—but the feeling rises up anyway, along with the insidious notion that she’s gotten what she wanted and so has little use for you now. without thinking, you start to drift away from sana in slow little increments that she catches, and she pulls you up tight against her, pressing her lips to your hairline. 
“i wish i could say,” sana whispers. “if it were up to me, i’d be here with you everyday.” 
the words are cruel, considering what they are–what you are—but the pain is stamped down. masking it with teasing. “how would you work then?” 
“i’m sure my supervisor could find someone else to fill my place. someone as equally ecstatic to dig their hands into some guy’s intestines.”
“you’re so…casual when you talk about your job.” you say out of respite. 
“are you worried?” sana asks. 
“no.” answering while tracing fingers across sana’s chest, over her still-racing heart, before tapping her chin. “but it makes me wonder if i should be.” 
“is the child psychology major going to psychoanalzye me right now? when i’m twenty-nine years old nearing thirty?” 
“you know the issues of childhood can be far-reaching. you never stop feeling the effects of it.” 
“incredible.” you laugh when sana dips her head and takes your finger in her mouth, biting it gently. “but i’ve always been this way.” 
“which is?” 
a half-feral grin spreads across sana’s face before she abruptly flips you over. you yelp into her mouth as she kisses you, long and slow, and settles over you. she breaks away, still grinning. “crazy about you.” 
you’re flushing hotly, which makes her bark out a delighted laugh, and sana kisses you again. over and over and over. her lips trail from your fluttering eyelids to the tip of your nose to your chin, every nook and cranny of your face that she can reach. when her lips meet yours again, you can taste the sugar on her tongue.
“god, i wish i could stay,” sana rasps, breaking away, and you cling onto her. 
“then stay.” 
“if i did, i’d have to leave at 5 to get ready at my apartment in order to be at the hospital on time. also you have an early class tomorrow. chances are i’d wake you up and you wouldn’t be able to go back to sleep.” 
your jaw tightens, and teeth catch your tongue. you don’t want to accuse sana of making excuses, because you know she’s right; it’s happened before. and that’s what burns you, the idea that your angst could have no standing. the operating off of your injured feelings and nothing substantial. this is transnational after all. 
“okay.” you say, coolly. “guess this is goodbye then.” 
“bye y/n.” sana says, kissing your mouth. “goodnight.” 
sana kisses you several times, smothering you in affection. she only stops after you simple, nipping at your nose once before rising off the bed. you watch as sana peels away off the bed, walking around your room, picking up her clothes from the floor and pulling them on. when she’s done, she strides over to you and slides a nick of your hair back, kissing your forehead. 
“i’ll call you tomorrow, sweetheart.” 
“okay.” 
sana ducks down, skating her nose along the edge of your hairline, keeping her mouth close to your ear. “i’ll see you later.” 
you move your head and catch sana’s lips. against them, whispering. “mn, see you later.” 
you notice with some satisfaction that sana’s eyes are fevered as she pulls away, dark with wanting, and you shove your face back into the pillow, clinging to it. sana mutters a soft curse and makes her way to the door, only to immediately jam the knob when she goes to close it. she mutters a curse again, much louder. 
“just give it a little wiggle,” you say, sitting up. “it gets a little tight sometimes when you twist it.” 
“how long has it been like this?” 
“since i got the apartment.” 
“what the fuck?!” sana exclaims. “did anything else come broken?”
“sometimes the water pressure in my shower is really low.” 
“jesus christ, y/n.” sana says again, louder, angrier. “why haven't you told your landlord?” 
“trust me, i have.” you say shrugging your shoulders. “if i said anything more than that he’d just shut off the water entirely.” 
sana sounds pressed, jiggling the knob harder. “i’ll kill him then.” 
“it’s really not that ba—” 
“i’m coming back next week with a repairman,” sana interjects, tone brokering no argument. “i can fix the doorknob myself but i’ll get a plumber for the shower.” 
you duck your head, embarrassed. “you really don’t have to do that, sana.”
“i want to,” she replies, eyes softening when she looks at you. “i don’t want you living in some shit-hole with no running water.”
“i have running water.” 
“we’ll see what the plumber says.” and with that, sana gives up on fixing the jam and breezes past the doorway. a few seconds later, you can hear sana at the front door shut behind her. with a deep sigh, you fall back into the bed and reach for your pillow, thick with her scent, and curls around it to fall asleep. 
in the morning, you wake up to a ten dollar venmo notification for coffee and the contact information of the plumber sana mentioned. 
“why haven’t you got my calls or texts?” is the first question that mina asks when you answer the phone. you stifle a laugh. 
“well, good to hear your voice mina.”
“you haven’t called me,” she says again. “is everything okay?” 
you sigh and sink into your loveseat, socks skipping over the fractured leather. your fingers cradle the coffee mug. “nothing’s wrong.” you say. “i’ve been really busy.” 
“with what?” 
“school,” is what you reply with. “not sure if you’ve kept up, but i’m in my last year now. i’ve been getting most of the important work done as much as i can.” a second passes before you add, “and communication is a two-way street. you haven’t been calling me either.” 
“busy with work.” is what mina says in defense. 
“see?” you quirk, a sip of coffee passing through your mouth, tapping your fingers on your knee, waiting for mina to speak. neither of you are particularly verbose, so the shared calls usually play out like this: tense silence, quick updates, the voids that harbored resentment. but you’ve grown far from the desire of mina to be soft for you (she has, doesn’t want to admit it) and you’re just accustomed to the dispassion. 
for the final question on the script: “do you need any money from me?” 
“no, mina. i don’t need money from you or auntie.” 
“i assume the tips are good at your job then?” 
“even better.” 
she hums, like this was real answer, saying, “if you ever need anything, call me.” 
“you know it when i do.” 
“okay then.” 
mina hangs up with a click before the goodbye is even truly articulated on the tongue. 
your ears perk up when a knock is heard on the door, moving from your kitchen to walk to the entrance. curious, you open it, only to be swept up into sana’s arms before you can even say hello. she kicks it shut behind her and pins you to the old wood, lips roving over your face. 
“what—” she kisses your mouth twice in quick succession. “—are you doing here?”
“left the hospital for my lunch break,” sana breathes, hitching you up so that a leg is wrapped around her waist. she dips to suck your collarbone, mouth curling when she hears you mewl. “decided to come here.” 
“d-did you eat?” 
“no.” 
sana’s hand slides up from the curve of your ass to your breast, squeezing gently. you moan softly, head thumping against the wood. “you—you should.” 
she separates from your throat to shoot a sly grin. “i’d rather eat you out first.” 
mindless, spurred by sana’s passion, you surge down to kiss her. tightening your legs around her, thighs squeezing as sana’s hand cups your clit. with every pass of the hand, you can feel the shift of your underwear, panties clinging. 
sana buries her hand into your hair, yanking back to expose your throat. she ducks her head to you for another kiss, trailing her lips up and down the line, tongue darting out to taste. her other hand dips down to your ass to bind you up against her, rolling until your toes curl. you sigh and slide your hand into sana’s hair. it would be so easy to just cum from this, but you’d rather put sana’s mouth somewhere else. 
you pull her up by her hair, stomach clenching at the naked want on sana’s face. her eyes, half-lidded and hazy, are trained on your open mouth. when you lick them, her thumb catches your bottom lip. 
“please,” you gasp, moving against sana’s hips. arching. “we need to go to my—” 
sana grins, almost madly, and kisses you hard enough to steal your breath. “what? you’re afraid your neighbors might hear me fuck you again?” 
you blush hotly and sana laughs, but ultimately decides to appease you, heaving you off the wall. she seeks out your lips again and stumbles into the room. impatient, sana kicks open the door, heedless when it slams loudly into the wall. 
you hardly notice also, giddy when sana pushes you onto the bed. it’s a race to get clothes off, pairs of hands fulmbling with the zippers and buttons until sana bats her pants away, you yanking your sweatpants off, meeting for another kiss as she lowers herself over you. you moan loudly when her fingers tease the opening between your legs, feeling the wetness in an instant. 
“my god,” you sigh out, clinging to sana, blood burning beneath your skin; every movement a siren call to your own pleasure. “please, just—just touch me, sana.” 
sana grins rakishly, eyes glittering with mirth. ever the eager observer to your own demise. 
“you’re always so polite, sweetheart.” sana says, and moves down to kiss you. you yourself arch to meet her, pulse skittering at her proximity, at the heady invertibility of mindless pleasure, and—
the lights go out. 
sana stills above you. at first, you’re surprised, waiting for them to flicker back on. this happens sometimes. i mean—the building is old as in 1920s red stone–faulty wiring and out-dated, but nothing comes to fruition. 
“fuck,” you spitt, arousal plummeting to now nothing. you move from under sana. “fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck—” 
“what’s wrong?” sana asks. you rise from the bed and she follows you to the kitchen. you snatch a pile of envelopes from your counter to dig through them, only to stop when you notice that the lighting outside is too dim to see. you sigh heavily, marching over to your couch to read by the flickering candles. sana sits down beside you, eyeing cautiously. “what’s wrong?” 
“the light bill,” you croak. “the rental agency upped the price recently but i must’ve paid the old amount without ven thinking. god, how could i be so stupid?!” 
“you’re not stupid. don’t talk like that,” sana snaps. she then takes a deep breath, voice much calmer when she adds, “and this is an easy fix. if you pay it now, it’ll be back on in a few hours. this shit happens, y/n.” 
“but i don’t–” have the money. you clench your jaw tight, forcing the words down, but sana can see the pain on your face, can hear it lingering in the air, unsaid. 
“i’ll help you—” you shake your head; you don’t like this, the reminder—” let me help you.” 
“no, sana.” 
“it’s not a big deal. i want to.” 
“i can’t ask you to—”
sana suddenly shifts closer and grabs your face, cupping it between her palms. she looks int your eyes, gaze probing.
“let me,’ she cajoles. “you don’t have to bear the burden of this all on your own. if i’m offering to help you, let me help you.” 
your heart swells. with relief. with dismay. “okay.” 
she pecks your lips before standing up, thumb trailing down your cheek. “where’s your laptop? if your account is set up online, i can pay it now. i still have about forty-five minutes until i have to get back so i can wait with you until then.” 
“it’s on my desk.” 
sana nods once, turning on her heel to march into your room. the second she’s out of sight, you bury your face into her hands, burning with shame. 
right after class ends, your phone vibrates. 
you pick it out of your pocket, thumb grayling over your cracked screen to see sana’s contact photo flashing up at you; it was the one taken three weeks ago, with her smiling while you pressed a kiss to her cheek. you’re clicking the green button. 
“hello?” 
“i just realized you’ve never been to my apartment,” sana says, surprising you. “we’ve been together for almost two months and you’ve never seen my house.” 
“oh.” your cheeks flush, pulse skipping at together. “you’ve never really brought it up before.”
“like a fucking idiot. do you wanna come over?” 
your body warms in a near–sudden response, to your eternal horror, and with a bite of your lip. “sure.” 
“cool! i’ll pick you up right now.” 
“you're not working today?” 
“no. i worked eighty hours last week so they gave me a day off. i’m on call, though, which is shitty anyway.” 
“i’m sorry.” 
“it’s fine,” sana dismisses. “so you’re still on campus?” 
“yeah. i just got out of class.” 
“alright, i’ll be there in twenty.” 
“okay. bye.” 
“bye.” sana says, but lingers on the line. for a moment, you think she’s forgotten to hang up, and moves to do it for her until she adds, softly, cutely you might think. 
“i’m excited to see you.” 
your heart thuds, and she hangs up before you can even say something back. 
for twenty minutes, you wait near the entrance of the school, fiddling with your phone until sana texts you to come meet her. finding the car quickly, walking towards the sleek, gray two–seater of her vintage mercedes, and opens the door to see sana grinning at you. a pair of dark sunglasses sit on the bridge of her nose. 
“hi,” sana smiles. 
“hi.” you say back, hating at how shy you still get around her, considering. sana, though, always appears to take a bit of pride to it. 
she chuckles, leaning back in her seat and shifting the car into drive, pulling into the main road. you settle in to watch the hypnotic motion of her hands as she turns the wheel—it almost makes you nostalgic for some reason. 
“so,” sana says, turning onto the street. “how was class?” 
“fine. just sat through a lecture.” 
“about?”  
“well, just the study of psychosocial development of erickson. how the different stages can be embedded by sociological challenges. you don’t want to hear the rest from me.” 
“ah.” you suck a smile in; seeing the cogs in sana’s brain turning. “sounds interesting.” 
“it’s a lot to cover. my professor was telling us about how some guest speaker that’s gonna be presenting next month. apparently she specializes in existential psychotherapy so i’m thinking of seeing that when it comes.” 
“that’s really cool. do you know the name?” 
“no.” you appreciate the effort that sana is showing. elizabeth, as wonderful and cool she was, tended to block you out sometimes: on the occasion she ever needed to. “what about you? how was work?” 
sana groans. “terrible. a guy was rolled in with a bullet wound and was hemorrhaging like crazy. i was able to stop the bleeding and get the bullet out, but the anesthesiologist almost od’d him and killed him. idiot.” 
“wow,” you say. “is he okay now?”
“yeah. but i’m never having that dumbass with me at the table again.” 
“you might have to, though. you’re a new doctor, sana, i don’t know if you have the luxury of writing off your co-workers.” 
sana smirks. “i might.” 
flicking the blinkers on, she turns on the road that leads them deeper into the upper west side. sana drives into a small parking lot behind a tall building before pulling into a space. once the car shifts into park and the keys are yanked out, you step out, mouth parting as you take in the veritable skyscraper in front of you. 
“you live here?!” 
“yeah,” sana says, taking your hand. seeing the stupefied expression, grinning and leading you inside. a red-headed doorman greets sana as you make your way across the lobby. the elevator didn’t even feel like an elevator and once you got past sana’s front door, you’re in full flabbergasted mode—eyes open like saucers. sana smiles at your gasp but when her eyes flicker to you they narrow. 
“i thought it would be a penthouse of sorts.” 
“trust me, it is but at the same time it isn’t.” 
sana’s apartment may not be as lux as you initially thought, but it’s still nice regardless. you can tell that it was costly, dark furniture andwide, open spaces and tall windows. the walls are painted with a light grey. a flat-screen plasma tv hangs in her living room, mounted over a fireplace. the black velvet leather couch is in front of it, clearly brand new. 
her voice echoes the walls. echoes. you’re left marveling. “are you hungry?” sana asks from the dining area, “i have some food from the other day.” 
“what do you got?” 
“some leftovers from this dimsum place, pretty good actually.” 
you giggle. “i thought you would have a much more sophisticated diet to fall back on.” meeting her at the kitchen island while she opens the box of food, tossing a bite into her mouth while you’re scanning through the dumplings. 
“this is delicous.” you say in between bites, sana leaning over pressing a kiss to your temple. “you’re not eating as much, not enough craving?” 
“i had some food earlier.”
“how earlier are we talking?” 
“before i scooped you up.” 
you hum while she feeds you another bite of the warm dumpling that melts so tenderly into your mouth. 
the relaxing downtime with sana felt like a completely different world in her house. you got to know sana’s rough run down backstory of how she got to some form of power when it comes to dealing with which practitioner helps with her or not. being well-connected in her line of work was something to be fortunate with, but sana doesn’t like the idea of wealth being wrapped around her. sure, her clothes may be nice, demeanor brash and language abrasive at times, but she sees the world in a more different light compared to tzuyu and elizabeth on the topic of privilege. 
as for how she got into her career of being a surgeon, she signed up for dual-enrollment in the last two years of her high school to graduate early. the calling of med school already being long in terms of time, so the sooner she could get out, the better. 
“i like that,” you say. “i like how your mind works. i like—”
you. you almost say it. and it aches to not project it, the sudden sting of yearning. you, you, i really like you.
but catching yourself tripping up was something more of a simple defensive mechanism. “the story,” you finish. “pretty funny.” 
“i have better ones.” sana says, grin lighting up her face, more radiant than sunlight. and her obliviousness burns twice as hot. “do you wanna hear about the time my friend bang chan and his best friend felix got mutual restraining orders back in college?” 
you’ve read the name of tobio kageyama for probably the thirtieth time in two manga volumes before your mind decided to call for a needed break. 
sitting upright from the couch, stretching and popping joints across the body. a look at the clock shows that it’s a little past eight, realizing that you’ve studied for roughly about two to three hours. too bad you didn’t notice it before because your brain is already bugging and battered into mush. 
so you head to the kitchen, glass cup filled before drinking it once or twice before noticing that sana hasn’t drank any water since she took up a fortress in her office two hours ago, claiming that she had a work call. you fill another glass again, dropping a few ice cubes, before making your way towards her office door–knocking once, “hey, you busy?” 
sana’s voice sounds muffled, weary. “no, come in.” 
entering the room, hesitant like you were intruding on some sacred space. like the rest of her house, sana’s office was nice, richly-furnished. she has a tall, wooden desk in front of her, several files and stacks of paper placed on top. there’s a bookshelf behind in the corner, thick tomes marked by names that you don’t even want to try to read or recognize. the walls are also painted in a dark gray, and there’s a leather couch off to the left side with a blanket placed over it. even sana needs to have her naps sometimes. 
sana then calls for your attention, glasses perched on the bridge of her perfect nose. “did you need something?” 
“no,” you say, inching closer. raising the glass, “i just wanted to get you some water.” 
she smiles in thanks, taking it from you while she approaches with an outreaching hand, grabbing the glass downing it in one gulp. frowning with a mild concern once she gave you back the glass, “were you thirsty?” 
“a bit. i didn’t feel it until now.” 
“are you hungry?” 
“not right now. i’ll eat when im finished with this.” 
“you should take a break,” you say, stepping towards sana. you lean back with your butt to the edge of her desk, half sitting. up close, you can see sana’s stress more evidently, eyes low with exhaustion. “sit on the couch with me. we can watch something together.” 
“i can’t do that, y/n.” 
“why not?” would a short film be better?” 
“i have paperwork. a lot of paperwork. not to mention forms, test results, patient files. i want to try to get through them by tonight.” 
“and you will,” you reply softly, stepping between her legs, resting your hands on her shoulders. “just ten or fifteen minutes of your time, please.” 
“no way we’re watching a movie in ten minutes.” 
“not the movie, you idiot. i was gonna say food instead, you should eat.” 
“‘m not hungry.” 
“not even a snack?” 
sana lets out a smile, placing her hands on your hips. “i appreciate you for being concerned, baby, but i’ll be done soon. i promise. then we can go get something to eat together.” 
looking down at the ground, hands still on shoulder. you’re smoothening the crinkles of sana’s large shirt, fingers brushing up from her neck up to her hair. you lean down and kiss sana fully on the lips, slowly, once, twice, a few times, and rest your knee on her chair between her legs. you break away a bit to pepper languid kisses across the slope of her jaw. 
“relax,” you croon. “take a break with me.” 
sana sinks into you, sighing like she’s expelling a pressure from deep within her chest. her eyes flutter closed, hands twitching around your waist, and when you dip down to kiss her throat, you feel the flushing heat rising from her body.
desire races to the forefront like a freight train, bowling over you with its inteistiey, and you’re running a hand up her thigh towards the center. sana gasps sharply into your parted mouth, fingers clutching around your waist. you’re nearly smiling. 
“you’ve eaten me out before,” you whisper. “but you’ve never let me do the same for you.” 
sana laughs but it’s off, brimming with echoes of a dark promise. “i find it more enjoyable when i eat up your pussy then have you eat mine. better for me to see you cry the way i want you to.” 
there’s a thrill pulsing through your body, throbbing dully in your cunt. you’re ducking down to kiss her again, practically panging into sana’s open mouth as you palm her through her pants. her face is screwed up with a tight coil of pleasure, eyes shut. her fingers dig into the leather armrests at her side. 
“let me,” you whisper again, almost begging. “i want to.” 
sana’s eyes crack open, solely, regarding you as though you were something to be consumed. i want to, you think with a sort of nameless, desperate sense of urgency. i want you to. 
she nods, and you kneel at her feet. 
you’re kissing through her jeans first, soft, affectionate little pecks that make sana groan, fingers sliding up her legs again. you help sana clumsily unbutton her pants, shucking it down and off her thighs. the panties are quick to follow, only first with a trail of your lips over the black-laced fabric, soaked with her wetness that fills up your nose. sana is wrecked with the effect you have on her, just some light kisses and heavy petting, making your cunt fucking clench; you don’t think you’ve ever met anyone who’s wanted you even half as much. 
when sana’s panties are gone left with her shirt; the scent is intoxicating. her folds are glistening. she sighs of pure bliss when you lick up her slit, mouth lingering on her clit. her hips twitch from the initial contact. you stifle a smile when you shower a few more kisses, and she groans loudly when you part her legs, squeezing her inner thighs tightly the more you shove your face into her cunt. 
you’ve eaten out girls before, but sana was more of an anomaly. to play it safe, you experiment, trying to see what she likes best. licking at her, teasing her walls with a finger, leaving teased kisses to the area outside of her pussy. sana can’t contain herself when she pulls your head back in with her hand, moaning into her core, the vibrations too overwhelming coming from your mouth to her legs. 
“fuck,” sana moans. “fuck, y/n–baby, fuck. i’m gonna—” 
nodding at her, you don’t let up the pace of tearing up her cunt. fingers in walls and grunting into her. she doesn’t even let you breathe. the heels of her feet on your shoulders as her hands are on the back of your head, nails scratching the scalp the more you’re lapping her up. only then you pull away as she coos out locking eyes with you, the sight of licking your mouth lean with your tongue from her slick almost makes her lose it from the seat. 
“i’m gonna ruin you,” sana promises, snarling, gaze devouring, mad with want. it sends a deep vibration into your cunt while she looks up to the ceiling. “you won’t be able to walk.” 
you could’ve just came right then and there, vision whiting out at the edges. somehow you kept your sanity in check, ducking your head for more fully. humming and sliding your tongue over her cunt, nibbling on her clit and with a sudden jerk followed by a sharp groan, she cums. 
a whole assortment of papers, files, pens, and pencils are scattered to the floor as sana digs her hand beneath your shirt and rips it off of you. your lips meet hers for another frantic kiss, laying back as she’s settling over you. 
she shoves your sweats down along with your panties, letting them dangle from your feet. sana then moves back to your chest, hands moving like a firebrand, searing your skin with every touch. desperate to feel more of it, you sit up slightly and unclasp your bra. the second you’ve tossed it, sana’s hands are quick to palm, mouth hot against your own as she swallows your keening sigh. 
“you have the most perfect tits in the world,” sana breathes, thumbs circling your nipples, forefingers roving down to pinch. the sweet pleasure-pain sparks a heavy throb in your core, and she arches into you, spreading your legs wide. you moan when sana’s mouth is around your breast, the other hand folding you. 
“god, sana, please,” you beg, clinging to her. your hips are twitching, the emptiness inside you turning into a physical ache. 
“what is it, baby?” sana switches over to your other mound, tongue laving over your nipple. your eyes fluttering, mind spinning at the sight. “what?” 
moaning helplessly, and her hand slides down to your cunt, thumb sliding up the wet gusset of your panties to find your clit. when she presses down, your hips jerk forward, shrieking. she’s laughing around your boob. 
“yeah, there we go,” sana sighs out, rubbing at you languidly, moving slow with the roll of her hips. “that feels good, doesn’t it?” 
“ye—ah—yes, yes it feels good.” 
“i know.” sana kisses up to your throat, sucking the soft spot beneath your jaw, lips deceptively sweet. “but you want more, don’t you.” 
more. 
your stomach seizes at the thought of it, the promise. you grasp at her wrist and sana hisses, dipping her hand beneath underneath your underwear to slide a finger inside you. keening when she adds another digit, stretching you open—another sounds leaves your mouth and sana laughs when you’re clamping around her fingers.
“you feel so good like this, y/n. so good.” she watches as she fucks her fingers in and out of you, transfixed by the sight. almost resentful of her own body. “i wish i could live in you. i wish—” 
“you could,” somehow croaking that out when she has four fingers inside. “i’d let you.” 
sana lets her intrusive thoughts get the better of her, growling while she surges down your body. your panties are up in the air as she raises a leg up, thumb petting your clit. you’re rearing up with a shout, a splintering sound, bursting, but sana doesn’t give you any breathing room. next thing you know, she has the flat plane of her tongue swiping upward that pushes your undoing even faster. 
it’s good enough to cry, you can feel the salt on your tongue when sana leans up again for another kiss before trailing down to your pussy. there’s a malformation with how the kisses are sloppier on your lips above and below, but the pleasure is good. she makes you feel like euphoria is an ever-present force that is kept within you, and it’s much deeper than the sex. the sprawling root of it is happiness, and sana. 
“c’mon, y/n, my lovely girl,” sana says tightly, jaw clenching when she breathes over your clit. her eyes hazy like she might be the one to cum again. “give me another.” 
you wrap your legs around her, canting up so that her mouth and tongue go deeper, and you both moan from it. sana’s finger finds your clit again, so wet the sound is purely obscene, but it only strokes the fire of your pleasure, makes it build higher and higher. 
“that’s it. there we go. t-there—” 
sana stops short. a bitten-off cry, and she doubles down on your clit. her fingers clench around your walls, and there’s a gentle wave—mouth parted to sigh. 
she stays for a second, pulling her hand out examining the slimy fluid between the fingers, licking them seductively that makes you roll your eyes and look away. sana just laughs at you, “fuck you, for making me like this.” 
your head hits the desk, “not sorry. i like it when you’re needy for me.” 
she huffs out, “little minx. when i’m done with you—” 
“what? i won’t be able to walk?” 
sana’s face falls flat, but her eyes spark with lurid determination as she leans in and whispers, “everything i’ve gotten in life, i’ve had solely because i wanted it badly enough. you think that doesn’t apply to the things i wanna do to you?” 
your heart hammers like a jack-rabbit. red-hot heat slowly consumes your face. “i—”
she moves off of you but keeps her arms bracketing your hips. “we’re moving to my room,” she interjects. “i need a bed if i want you to sit on my face.” 
eyes were wide open while you managed to slip out of sana’s hold, scurrying to the bedroom down the hallway. sana’s signature laugh echoes as she chases you down behind. 
it’s a bit chilly outside when mina calls you, the autumn weather creeping beneath your new coat to settle into your bones. hitching the collar up your neck for cover, and the phone is out from your pocket to see your cousin’s name. you’re repressing a sigh, picking up, 
“hey.” 
“yo.” mina has many greetings. “where are you right now?” 
“i got out of class, walking to the subway.” 
“are you by yourself?” 
“yes,” you say. “obviously. why wouldn’t i be?” 
“you usually have that slightly taller girl tagging along with you. the one with the model face.” 
“tzuyu.” you correct sharply. “and you’re not wrong, but she has her own life. you know? a girlfriend?” 
“and you? you got anyone?” 
frozen, stumbling in your tracks. mina could be asking for curiosity, but you know your cousin too well; she’s not the kind to be asking unnecessary questions. 
“no, i don’t,” you answer cautiously. 
“are you sure?” 
“why even bother asking me?” you retort, voice clipped. “even if i was seeing someone. i’d mention it right away, even with thanksgiving around the corner.” 
“i don’t see what thanksgiving has anything to do with it.”
“most normal people introduce their partners to family, mina. not everything personal is some dirty little secret.” 
“don’t you dare try to get snippy with me. i was just asking a question, not cuffing you to a table for an interrogation. chillax.” 
you’re cringing with knitted brows, stepping down the stairwell into the subway station. it’s a lot warmer, “whatever. i just wanted to know why you were asking.” 
“i was asking because you haven’t been calling me lately. i figured that someone else was taking up all of your time besides auntie.” 
your jaw tenses. there’s this wave of guilt that makes your clinch your lip, voice much gentler when you follow up, “i’ve just been busy, mina. you know that.” 
“yeah?” the customary ten seconds of loaded silence pass before mina adds, “speaking of busy, don’t come down for thanksgiving this year. i’m gonna be busy with work.” 
work. the nameless occupation mina had never bothered explaining to you, not since you were in your teens. you’ve had your own suspicions and theories, but you never even had the frame of mind to confirm them yourself. 
even with the disappointment; it’s actually comforting in a weird sense. “that’s fine. i have finals to get ready for anyway.” 
“you’re not upset by this?” 
“no.” 
“and you’re not lying to me about anything, right?” 
“no, mina.” you say, smiling ruefully. “why would i? when have either of us ever lied each other about anything?” 
good as dammed, but there’s no care for it. i wouldn’t even matter anyway. it comes as a concern for how little tinges of that feeling is there still. 
mina sighs out. “talk to you later then, if you do call me.” 
you hang up after. the lasting thought of mina doesn’t even come afterwards. 
not even more than two steps into the entrance hallway when the doorbell calls you. 
you’re freezing, eating away at the fragile patience, but when you look through the peephole. you don’t think twice about opening the door. “tzuyu?” 
she’s standing across from you, arms folded, foot tapping, and pouting. “you’ve been neglecting me.” she accrues.
“huh?” you ask stupidly while blinking in a fast state.
tzuyu rolls her eyes and breezes past you, chilling air carrying the rich scent of yves saint-laurent. you follow her into the living rom, watching her shuck off her louis vutton jacket and tosses it onto the seat. 
“well?” she demands, whirling around to face you. “tell me what did she do to you?” 
“what?” 
“your little sugar mommy-doctor-girlfriend.” 
“tzuyu–” 
“whatever she did, she’s good enough to keep you from calling or texting your best friend for a week.” 
“what?” you’re gasping out again. “a week? i haven’t…” 
with a rush of the phone, you’re pulling up messages only to notice that you have, in fact, been ignoring tzuyu’s texts for the better part of a week. all of your besties messages. the only person you’ve kept consistent contact with is sana, and the last text you sent her was–
well—best to the imagination. 
“i’m so sorry,” you breathe out, throwing your phone off to approach tzuyu, taking her mittened hands, gently directing her to sit on the couch. “i’m so sorry, tzuyu. i didn’t mean to ignore you or shuhua or irene or anyone, i just—” 
“you’ve been preoccupied with your new girl?” 
“yeah,” you admit, bit of shame hanging, but adding, “and school. dooyoung–the guy editing my thesis—says it’s coming together really nicely, so.” 
tzuyu whoops, reaching out to shake your leg. “and you’ll be presenting it next semester! how do we feel about that?” 
“pretty good.” 
suddenly, her eyes soften, shifting closer. “i was mostly kidding, by the way, about you neglecting me. i remember how i was when i first got with shuhua. you couldn’t get me away from her.” 
“it’s different, though.” 
“what makes you say that?” 
“because shuhua is your girlfriend and sana is my—” 
you stop, horrified by the abrupt burn of tears. you turn away to conceal yourself, blinking hard, but tzuyu was always quick to notice. she wraps her arms around your elbow, leaning into your shoulder. “your sugar mommy,” she finishes gently, but you flinch like it’s a slap. 
“yeah. that.” 
“if it bothers you so much, then why are you staying with her?” i’m sure she’s given you enough that you have time to figure out another way to get money. it’s not like you need her.” 
“yeah,” you reply dully, still not meeting eyes with tzuyu. your mind is playing the denial aspect a lot more tougher now. “you’re right. i don’t.” 
with all things and struggles, you compartmentalize. 
you’re refusing to think of the blooming feelings for sana more than you have to, and in the even that you can’t, distraction was the solution: school, work, friends. and on the rare occurrence as crazy it would seem, shopping. 
“an IKEA drawer?” sana asks, baffled. you keep your phone between shoulder to ear. “why the fuck did you go to IKEA?” 
“i needed to,” you answer, pushing the giant box inside of your apartment, leaning against the wall as it’s on the wall. “my other drawer was broken. i’ve had it for like, seventeen years, so i figured that it was time for a change.” 
“and you could afford it?”
a rhetorical question. what sana’s really asking if the two bundred she sent you last week was a decent enough amount that you could splurge on. clenching your teeth, flushing. 
“yes.” 
“y/n, baby. i sent you the money so that you could go shopping.”
“i did. and i shopped at IKEA.” 
“are you gonna build the drawer now?” 
“yeah.” 
“let me come over. i can build it for you/” 
“sana, it’s fine. i’ve built furniture before.” 
“so have i. in fact, i bet i could have it done in half the time it takes you to read the instructions.”
“oh really now?” cocking a brow in disbelief. “how soon can you come over?” 
time didn’t really pass, staring at sana from the bed, chin resting on your palm as you watch her hiss and curse to herself, pink screwdriver in hand. the sweat rolls enticing down the hard ridges of her abs, her hair is up and out of her face in a knot. the most exhilarating part in all of this was watching him use her shirt as a sweat rag. 
“are you sure you don’t—”
“i’m almost done,” sana snaps, eyes flashing with indignation. “just give me ten more minutes.” 
true to her word, she was nearly done. the drawer stands tall in front of her, most of the pieces already constructed and put into place. all that’s missing is the top set of the drawers, which she has in her hands right now. 
still, it’s only mildly entertaining just to watch sana. you debated studying to pass the time, but the focus wasn’t enough on your book to make it stick. reading was also out of the question, and texting irene went nowhere after she revealed that she was on a date and couldn’t speak. the news that things with her and seulgi were going well and exciting to hear, but not long after. sana’s shirt was off. 
“it’s really fucking hot in here,” had been the excuse mainly. 
“is this supposed to keep me distracted? you ask. 
“i’m not trying to do anything. if you’re distracted, that’s your prerogative.” 
liar. she’s been annoyed the second you stopped foching on her long enough to try facetime tzuyu. 
you sigh, spitefully debating on what you can do to fluster sana. the limited options, though, tend to lean more in one direction and the idea of willfully doing any of them was embarrassing. 
suddenly, she whoops. “i finished!” 
you roll over on your stomach to see sana sliding the drawer into the top slot, circling it, pulling on different knobs to test the tightness and checking for smoothness of the pulling out and pushing in of the drawers. she grins at you, triumphantly. “i told you i could do it.”
“i never said that you couldn’t.” 
“it was in your tone.”
you smile, and sana straightens up to bend something in her body. a loud crack sounds, followed by a pained sigh, and her eyes open more glazed. “fuck.” 
soon after sana is laid flat on the mattress when you motioned her, face turned towards you with a look that says are you okay? 
“my back. it’s been annoying me since work—fuck.” 
you nick your head as you cautiously glide your hands over her skin, kneading the muscle softly, and sana just hums with relief. “keep doing that.” 
straddling on sana’s ass, languidly moving your fingers up. she just melts. sana perks up when you giggle. “what?” 
“nothing.” 
“tell me.” 
“i think it’s kinda bad for you to have back pain at your age, and it’s kinda mindblowing how active you are.”
“don’t be that dramatic, i’m not that old.” 
“for someone that’s near thirty.”
“that’s a bit harsh.” 
you giggle again before leaning down, lips skimming sana’s ear lobe. “i’m just teasing you.”
“you’re so fucked up for saying that, i’m only twenty-nine still.” 
“don’t be so sensitive.” you say pressing a kiss to her nape. “not bad if you're in your early late twenties early thirties while i’m in my early twenties.” 
sana sinks into you, like clay in your hands. when you move to the ridge of her cheekbone, she leans into you, turning her head to catch your lips. a languid kiss is shared, tongues melding, unhurried, but that fire is sparked between your hips and it becomes urgent. it’s a slow grind that’s rolled out, eyes fluttering at the friction.��
you pull away while sana breathes out, “fuck,” and flips you over now that you’re straddling over her front. your hands are on her waist, and sana moves her leg up between your legs, doubling down on the notice that you’re not wearing anything underneath the shorts, lips parting. 
she leans up to kiss you. sana always kisses you, mouth consuming like she wants to suck you inside. “i didn’t know you watching me build furniture would get you so hot.”
“everything you do gets me hot.” 
sana moans and binds you up against her, hips bucking, delicious friction sending stars behind your eyes. you wrap your arms around her neck, panting into her mouth, so euphoric that you want to weep. so happy. 
when she breaks way to squeeze your breasts, a loud knock sounds at the door, startling you. sana, however, is unmoved.
“ignore it,” she says, breath hot on your neck. “ride me.” 
your eyes flutter and you’re grasping at her hair, already picturing it, the slick coming out of you on her leg, the fruition and contact deep enough to send you reeling. and then you hear it: 
“y/n!” another loud knock, more insistent. “open the door!”
shit, you think, cursing, the word flying form your mouth now. “shit, shit.” 
sana pulls away from you, concerned, but you’re already beating her in the scramble. she watches you rush to the mirror to fix your hair. 
“what’s up? who is that?” 
“mina,” you breathes, cold panic pulsing through your veins. “my cousin.”
“oh, well—”
“it’s a bigger deal than you think,” you snap. “and stay here. she can’t see you.” 
sana’s eyes widen. “what–?” 
“stay here, sana.” 
you rush out of the room and hurry towards the front door. through the peephole, you see mina on the other side, arms crossed and expression stoic. you exhale deeply before opening the door, forcing a smile. 
“hi, mina.” 
she hums in greeting, shoulders knocking as she walks past you. when she spots the IKEA box, she stops short. 
“you bought furniture?”
“yes,” you answer hesitantly, clammy fingers clasped behind you. “i needed a new drawer.” 
“why didn’t you tell me?” 
“i need to call you every time i buy furniture?” 
“no. but these things sell for three hundred bucks. it’s expensive.”
“this one was on sale. one–fifty.” 
mina makes a deep sound in her throat, unsatisfied, but her journey is continued throughout your apartment. 
“so, uh. what are you doing here?” 
“it’s thanksgiving tomorrow.” 
“oh. i thought…you told me not to come. you said you were busy.” 
“some time opened up in my schedule,” she says, and finally stops long enough to look at you. her eyes were shrewd, filled with knowing. it only raises the sirens going off in your head louder. “i decided to come see you.”
“ah,” you breathe. “well, um. i didn’t buy any food. maybe we can order–?” 
“why are you so flustered? mina interrupts. “is there something going on?” 
“what? no, no, of course–”
“mina?” icy pinpricks poke your skin, and you slowly turn around to see sana standing in the hallway. her clothes and hair have been fixed, and she smiles at mina with a polite curiosity. 
your cousin’s expression sours instantly. “who the fuck is this?” 
“mina!”
“who is this. why is she in you apartment?!” 
sana walks towards mina, unphased by the insult. she sticks her hand out, “my name is minatozaki sana. nice to meet you.” 
mina peers at sana, neck tilted at an angle that would be comical if not for the fact that you feel like throwing up. finally, she looks at you again. 
“we need to talk.”  
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𝜗𝜚 ݁ ˖ Summer Glow up: creating new habits 🎀⭐️ *࿐ ࿔*:・゚!
Hi Dolls!! Welcome Back 2 Dollies 2 Months of Summer Glow Up !! 🎀⭐️ Today im gonna talk all about implementing brand new habits in my life !!
> Hobbies !! 🎀
> Academics !! 📒
> Beauty Care !! 🧖‍♀️
> Scheduling !! ☀️
> Taking Baby Steps !! 🛼
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❤︎ ໋𓈒 Hobbies!! 🎀
…: This Summer I Plan on Taking up Some brand New Hobbies to keep my self busy and learn about brand new things bc everyday is useful!! and so i can use my time more wisely some hobbies i have in mind are…
- Yoga
- Painting
- Creative Writing
- Learning Japanese + Spanish
- Reading
- Puzzles!
- Blogging
- Learning To Code
- Doll Collecting
- Book Collecting
- Sewing + Crocheting
- Digital Art
- Piano
and obvii im already a blogger but i still added it anyways i will watching videos on how to get into these hobbies and videos on learning Spanish and more Japanese, also fun fact i’ve actually been studying Japanese sine 2021 but i stopped bc it got to hard but im starting back up!! anyways, after i watch the videos im gonna set up a financial list bc i have the fund all of these but its okay bc i can easily get money!! 🎀
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❤︎ ໋𓈒 Academics !! 🎀
More Goals of mine are to raise my grades in an academic space bc i do have decent grades but i wanna aim higher and have PERFECT Grades so in turn that means i must study more and have more discipline and not so irresponsible with my time!! and i also wanna study subjects outside of school bc its always good to learn something new!! now for learning tips so far i have..
- Flash Cards
- Practice Methods
- Teaching Someone Else
- Trying to explain it to a 5 yr old
- Study a Week Before
- watch ted talks on topics
- SLEEP
- write out notes
Now i Also Have a list of subjects i want to learn about!!
- drawing facial expressions + bodies
- Sewing Stiches + How to Hem and Crochet
- How 2 Draw Bodies + Poses
- Full Anatomy 4 Both Genders
- Japanese + Spanish + French + ASL
- Color Theory
- Learning Cursive + Improving Handwriting
- Expanding Vocabulary
- Religious Cults
- Case and Law
- Poison and Toxicology
- Astronomy
- Medical Surgical Instruments
- Matriarchal Societies
- Socialism Societies
Now i definitely won’t be able to do all of this all at once bc it would definitely we too stressful so im gonna choose as least 2-3 to start with and study them and just learn! 🎀🧁
❤︎ ໋𓈒 Beauty Care !! 🐬
📧: Now I already have my regular beauty care regime skin,hair,eyebrows,eyelashes etc. but im also more focused on getting weekly treatments & weekly beauty care habits like…
- Nails
- Hair
- Eyelashes
- Face Mask
- Hand + Foot Mask
And i wanna try and find people in my city that can do this especially for nails bc i would go to the nail salon but i feel like they won’t be able to do it exactly how i want it to be !!!
❤︎ ໋𓈒 Scheduling !! ⭐️
Now That im gonna be so busy i need to make sure i also stay organized with my time so it doesn’t lead to stress so ill have my regular school classes on my regular schedule then making dedicated hours to studying Things i wanna learn about + Language Learning!
My Workouts are always early morning before school in the evening hours before i got to bed so i won’t have to worry about that affecting my academics. With my Hobbies i feel like only some of them really need scheduling so ill also make time dedicated to those as well !!!!
Beauty Maintenance will probably always be on weekends for the stuff that weekly/bi weekly like face masks,manipedis,hair etc!!
and last but definitely not least!!
❤︎ ໋𓈒 Taking Baby Steps !! ⭐️
This whole process is still all new too me so i’ll definitely only be doing a little at a time and working my way up and i get more familiar with the change in my daily life and i won’t pressure my self to complete everything extremely quickly and just take my time with everything! bye bye dolls tysm 4 keeping up with me while doing this kisses 4 all of u!!! 🎀⭐️
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strawberrymochin · 1 month
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Springtime Fushiguros♪
Context-: exploring the memories of childhood of fushiguros, marking the spring time of you and satoru gojo.
Gojo's cooking skills-: gojo cooks for the fushiguros while you are away. (Disaster)
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Gojo frowns not being able to locate a pan in the kitchen. Megumi sighs at the sense of foreboding, it's already been 20 mins gojo's rummaging through the kitchen, just to find a single pan to cook. He could simply ask Tsumiki or Megumi but the guy believes in self reliance, thus asking help from the kids would feel like a betrayal to himself.
He wants to make you proud, by cooking for the kids, serving them the utmost savoury finger licking heavenly food. (Without the help of anyone)
'Tshh,' says Tsumiki drawing her brother's attention, 'Don't you think we should help gojo Sensei?' she whispers, keeping her voice low. 'And do you think he would agree?' replies Megumi fretfully.
You are out for work today, a rare occasion in this household. You work partime in a marketing firm that advertises a buisness good or service making it reach its desired market sale.
It haven't been much long since you joined this company, before moving in with gojo satoru you used to work 9 to 5 but now that you have the kids to take care of, you convinced your boss to work half-day. He agreed since you were only a part time employee. You normally go to work after the kids go to school and return before their arrival.
However today is a bit different, the work load is enormous for a special deal whose ad is supposed to be out tomorrow, which resulted in your boss asking you to do overtime. You agreed instantly, since gojo wasn't going on any missions today and the kids were on a special holiday. Moreover your boss has been too kind to you to refuse.
Gojo has reassured you that he won't need any help, even though you insisted him to call if he faces any problem. He didn't wanted you to work while stressing about them. Even after that, you had given atleast 3 lectures on how to take care of the kids, where the cooking materials are and about their likes and dislikes.
'How about you sneak in the kitchen, take the pan out of the shelf while I keep him occupied on something else?' Megumi raises a brow at Tsumiki's idea. He thinks it's waste of energy but agress anyways.
Both go according to the plan, Tsumiki drags gojo outside lying someone was on the door, while Megumi sneaks in the kitchen getting the pan out from the shelf.
'There's no one 'miki! You sure you heard someone?' Megumi hurries trying to place the pan on the counter at the sound of gojo's approaching steps, 'yes! Sensei! I'm sure. Why don't you come and check again!!' Tsumiki pulls gojo's hand dragging him to the front door again, when 'Megumi, what are you doing?' gojo asks nonchalantly as Tsumiki's eyes widen.
Megumi quickly places the pan on the top of the counter shutting the shelf sneaking out of the kitchen, when gojo picks him up in his lap, a pissed expression in his face.
Gojo's was nowhere near the kitchen a few seconds ago. He was standing with Tsumiki in the living room. Now Tsumiki is standing alone in the living room creeped out.
He drags a shocked megumi to the living room and settles him on the couch. He goes for Tsumiki next, settling her beside Megumi.
'you guys think you can surpass me? Tsk tsk tsk, I'm the strongest—' Megumi interrupts before gojo could finish. 'Did you just—teleported from the living room?'
'yup.'
'wow. So you can teleport! Can you do that too Megumi-chan?' says Tsumiki fascinated as megumi stares at his Sensei.
'megumi can do that too one day, if he works hard to keep up with me....and you have to now that you promised.' gojo ruffles megumi's hair annoying him again.
'now, you two don't interfere when I'm cooking, I gotta make y/n proud and prove i can take care of you guys without any lectures.'
Gojo strolls back to rummaging the kitchen, as the kids watch, turning their heads from the couch.
'megumi can do that too one day' said gojo to Tsumiki. 'I will do that too.' thought Megumi, he might not like his Sensei much, he might strongly believe he's unserious and annoying but he can't ignore the fact that his Sensei is the strongest. And it's the only thing he truly admires. He promised gojo to work hard and keep up with him. He promises to work hard again but this time not to gojo, but to himself. He will work hard and become like his Sensei one day.
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'Would you like pizza instead?' gojo said apologetically. He ended up burning the Ginger chicken rice and salad he was making. The kids were starving till the pizza arrived.
The kids accepted the their fate, desperately wishing you to comeback and never go back. Atleast that meant good healthy food that actually tastes good. Megumi made a mental note never to learn cooking from his Sensei.
When you arrived late in the house expecting the kids fast asleep, you were instead greeted by a whining megumi, who was having digestion problems.
That's it. You are never leaving the kids with him again.
'Atleast, I fed him on time!'
'Yeah, and you fed him pizza, which is the reason he's having stomach ache. You said you would make them something healthy.'
'I did.'
'Then—wait don't tell me you—' you rush into the kitchen to see a burnt cooking pan and a couple of dishes stacked in the basin.
'well, it wasn't burnt, just a bit overcooked—that it turned black.'
'yeah, into ashes.'
'But love, i atleast tried.'
'Aww honey! You're so sweet. Now go do the dishes. Without breaking anything.'
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bookshelf-dust · 1 year
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love and mandrakes
sirius black x gn!reader
word count: 5,220
warnings: swearing, fluff, i think that's literally it, but let me know if it's not
a/n: hi! so this is new!!! a new character!! sirius black is the loml, and i've been working on this for what feels like forever. i'm really proud of it, and i hope that maybe some of you will like it. it's been very fun to explore a new universe and the marauders as a whole. i hope you enjoy this!! love you 3000 <333
————
The greenhouse windows are frosty this morning, and you can feel the chill seeping in through the thin glass panes. You fight the urge to lift your finger, using the tip to draw a face in the condensation gathering on the one nearest you. 
You’re stood at the back of the greenhouse, like always. You’ve never liked to be very close to Professor Sprout–certainly not because of any disdain towards the woman–but for the fear that she’d have something negative to say about your work. This is despite the fact that she’s been nothing but kind to you regarding every plant that’s ever been in your care.
Really it’s just that you’d beat yourself up if you killed a plant that makes you so determined to do well.
You’re twenty minutes early for class today. Early enough that it’s just you and Professor Sprout in the greenhouse. Everyone else likes to stumble in within the five minutes before class begins.
But clearly, that’s not quite the case this morning. The greenhouse doors open, both rather than just one, and Professor Sprout turns to greet whoever it is.
“Good morning, Mr. Black.”
You look up. Sirius Black is never early to class. If anything, he’s usually either not there at all, or the absolute last one to find his way in, perhaps a half hour late, if not more. He sidles up to Remus Lupin, and suddenly they've got a lovely little group project on their hands.
“Remus won’t be in today, Professor.” Sirius gives her a look that you assume is supposed to induce sympathy on her part. “Seems he’s got a cold.”
Pomona has never found it in herself to be frustrated with the boy, unlike the majority of her colleagues. She’s one of the few professors at the school to not harbor particularly malicious feelings towards the boy. He might be a troublemaker, but who isn’t at that age? 
She’s been briefed on what his home life is like, too, and who he has to put up with. And since she was a young girl, Pomona has been determined to give everyone a fair chance.
"Thank you for letting me know," she tells him.
You watch as Professor Sprout heads to a supply closet and begins to pull out heaps of gloves and what look to be earmuffs, messily tossing away the things she doesn’t need. You're lost in observing her, so consequently the voice sounding a few inches from your ear startles you.
"You always in this early?" Sirius has materialized next to you, the beginnings of a smirk playing at the edges of his mouth. 
You glance at his hand where it lingers over the stem of a plant you’re not sure he should dare to touch. He’s got a ring on every finger excepting his thumb.
“Usually,” you say. It occurs to you that these are some of the first words you've ever spoken to the boy, if you don’t count bare minimum exchanges in the odd class. “I like it back here.”
You like it back there because less people can look at you. Because having to sit somewhere else stresses you out, not to mention throws you off. You feel safe in your little corner. 
Sirius withdraws his hand from the questionable plant and raises his head. His eyes bore into yours. They’re the strangest shade of blue. It seems to shift in the light, and sometimes they look almost gray. He grins, and then begins to scan the area around the both of you.
“Suppose it is nice. Maybe I’ll stay back here with you. Wouldn’t want you to be lonely, you know.” 
You snort at that and he quirks a brow at your amusement. Sirius pushes his hair behind his ear and you realize he’s got a silver industrial piercing.
“That hurt too bad?” You ask, gesturing towards the jewelry and hoping he knows what you mean. He does.
His thumb skips over the metal ball at one end, coming back to fiddle with a section of his robes. He leans forward, grinning at you. His smile is wide. The corners of his mouth tick up mischievously, smile lines conveying layers of mischief you know he must have hidden in that mind of his. 
“Probably wouldn’t have as much if I’d gone to a shop.”
You gasp lightly, thinking about it getting infected and Sirius having a bloody mess on his hands.
“You did it yourself?” You ask, eyes wide and full of concern.
He laughs. It’s a gorgeous sound, deep and friendly. Warm.
“I was prohibited,” he says, pressing a scandalized hand to his chest. “Remus did it for me over break, while my brother played nurse.”
“Well it looks nice,” you tell him, palms beginning to sweat. You find his presence to be slightly overwhelming. “I mean I think so.”
“Thank you, sweets.” He bends slightly at the waist, hand over his stomach, and it’s a gesture you might take as being that of an asshole, if it weren’t for his voice being so kind.
You hum in place of a you’re welcome, trying to will away the swarm of butterflies in your tummy. They’re being rather aggressive. 
“And for the record,” he adds, “Remus was very strict with my cleaning regimen, so I did not get any infections if that’s what you’ve been contemplating.”
“That’s good.” You smile. You’re not sure it’s anywhere near as pretty as his.
Professor Sprout claps her hands, startling you. Today is really not your day. Sirius snorts at your jolt, but when you glance at him he’s pretending to be intensely focused on your instructor.
“Morning, everyone!” she begins. “Today, as you may have guessed, we will start our lessons on Mandrakes. This particular lesson will focus on basic knowledge, as well as care, but come next class, your actual project will begin.”
“You’re going to need a partner, so I’ll give you a few minutes now to choose, that way you can prepare with one another prior to the main exercise.”
All at once, everyone turns to this person and that, chattering and deliberating. It seems everyone has someone.
Your heart starts to pound, and you wonder if maybe Professor Sprout might let you work independently. Pairs are forming, and you can feel yourself being left out, pushed to the edges of society. Maybe that’s dramatic, but it’s how you feel. 
You lean against the table behind you, hoping that she won’t call you out for not having a partner. That is until there’s a figure in front of you.
“What’d you think, huh? Shall we work together?” Sirius stands so that you have no other choice but to look back at him. It’d come off rude to not maintain eye contact at this distance. 
You feel yourself burn and can’t help but wonder if this is some sort of cruel joke.
“Wouldn’t you rather wait and join Remus?” You ask, fingernails picking at the wooden underside of the table.
“You think I’m using you as a fill-in?”
You shrug, rubbing your nose. “We’ve quite literally never spoken an actual conversation before today. I just thought you’d want to work with your friend and not some stranger.”
“Well there’s a first for everything, isn’t there? And you’re not a stranger. I see you all the time.” 
You sigh. He grins, ever pleased with himself. 
“You don’t want to be friends with me?” He teases.
“I—”
“No, it’s quite alright. I’ll see if good ‘ol Mona will help me out.” He turns like he’s going to march away, though his feet barely move. He’s not going anywhere and you both know it. 
“Holy shit,” you start. “Just shut up. Go and get the gloves then.”
Sirius grins. “Demanding, aren’t we?”
He does go and get them though, returning with two sets of gloves and a pair of shears, as Professor Sprout had instructed.
“Today, we will focus on tending to your Mandrakes. I want you, in your pairs, to check the soil and water as needed. I also want you to trim the leaves, as these have been left to run amok for a while. To work!”
Chatter erupts around you, bouncing against the glass walls of the greenhouse.
You fetch a watering can while the area is still free, and Sirius fills it up for you. You notice that your Mandrake is severely lacking the soil it needs. It’s not very well off at all.
“Do you see this?” You ask him, gesturing towards where the roots are showing, clearly dehydrated and with nowhere to sprawl out and grow. “She’s got us treating the wounded.”
Sirius crosses his arms. “That’s a damn shame now, isn’t it? Guess we better heal this thing then.”
“Are you fucking with me?” You ask, eyes darting up to meet his.
“No, I swear. I can tell you’re into this. It’s not my best subject.”
“Well you know what they say.”
“What do they say?” His eyes are gleaming. That’s the best word you can think to use for it. 
“Teamwork makes the dream work.”
He rolls the very same eyes. “I’d like a new partner after that one.”
You laugh, and Sirius feels a pang in his chest. Like he’s taken a blade to the heart, and he can’t do anything but let it happen. Your laugh is such a sweet sound and he worries it might be the death of him.
You slip your gloves on and start trimming the leaves that have to go. There’s quite a few of them, but luckily they seem to be towards the bottom of the stem, and you think once you’re able to water it, the Mandrake might have a chance.
You finish with the shears, and set them down. You look up at Sirius, and your eyes catch a group of buttons on the shoulder of his robes. His hair had been covering them before. You find yourself feeling warm inside, as one in particular tickles your fancy.
“I like your pin,” you say.
His brows shoot up, “Which?”
You use your pinky and tap the glossy finish. He watches. “That one.”
“The Queen one?”
You nod, shoving some more soil into your pot to try and save the roots.
“You listen to them?” Sirius leans down so that his face is next to the Mandrake and in your line of sight. He’s got this brilliant grin. It’s worrying you. For a moment you think he might say something cruel, but the look in his eye is almost boyish.
“Yeah,” you say. “My mom is a muggle. Fell for a dorky wizard boy. So she’s raised me on loads of good stuff.”
“Lucky duck, you.”
You snort and then look up at him, though he's already been looking at you. His eyes haven't left you the whole time you've been working. He finds the way you treat the plant as if it has feelings to be charming. He wonders if you take care of everyone like that. Or maybe even yourself.
You move the soil pouch towards him. "You gonna help me?"
He slips his gloves back on. They really don't match anything he's wearing, and frankly it bothers him a bit. "Of course, of course."
He starts tending to the plant and you watch, noticing the bumps left in the gloves where his rings are hiding underneath.
"Feed her, Seymour," you say, and Sirius whips his head towards you.
"Who the fuck is Seymour?"
"Muggle film. Musical actually. Sorry."
"Don't be sorry for exposing your nerdiness. What's the film about? Talk to me," he proclaims, wincing at the state of his soil work.
“This guy, Seymour, finds a plant, and he tries to take care of it, you know, as you do, but he figures out it only wants blood and meat to eat and that’s what he feeds it, so it keeps growing and growing until it’s big enough that it starts eating people.”
Sirius looks at you with wonder in his eyes, and starts to laugh. "Are you fucking with me, love?"
You start to smile, one that you at first try to suppress, but it ends up spreading across your face, softening your features. Sirius thinks maybe it's the prettiest smile he's ever seen. He can't get over the way the lines around your mouth form, or the way your cheeks bunch and your eyes light up.
"No, I promise."
The boy tugs his gloves off, having finished salvaging the soil for your plant. "Killer plants, huh?"
"Indeed," you say. "You know Mandrakes are killer too, right?"
"Stop."
You start to water the plant, trying your best not to drown the damn thing. "What do you think the earmuffs are for, dumbass?"
You immediately regret calling him a dumbass, thinking you may have crossed a line--it's not like you know him all that well, you've only been speaking for this one class period--but he only smiles at you.
For some reason, you find him easy to be around. He doesn't scare you.
"It's cold."
"Because it's cold? No. After we save the plants we have to re-pot them, and when we take them out they're going to scream. Their cries are fatal, Sirius."
He stares at you. Remus did not tell him this. Technically he could've read his textbook, but clearly he didn't.
"That seems highly uncalled for."
You chuckle and he grins again.
"I agree,” you say. “Have you got the time?”
Sirius pushes his sleeve up, glancing at the watch tight around his left wrist. “We’ve got five minutes left.”
You look up, and notice Professor Sprout removing her gloves. If you’d waited to ask for just a moment longer, she would’ve begun her everyone-get-your-shit-together-and-get-out-of-here speech. 
“Students, your attention please!” Professor Sprout’s cheeks are rosy, tufts of curls sticking out from under the brim of her hat. 
“Next class we’ll try and get the Mandrakes repotted, so that they may grow to their full potential and can then be used as needed for Madam Pomphrey. You’ll need to come and water your plants periodically throughout the week, as these tend to drink rather quickly, so I suggest you alternate days with your companion.”
When you’ve finished and you’re outside once again, it’s misty, your skin dampening with each step you take. 
You feel a hand on your elbow, and Sirius has appeared next to you. Frankly, you hadn’t expected him to continue contact with you. 
The both of you had discussed what days you’d water you plant, and you assumed that was that. 
“I’ve realized we’re co-parenting a Mandrake,” he starts, “and I feel as though I should at least know a little something about the mother of my child.” You raise your eyebrows at him. “You know, to ensure that they don’t grow up lacking proper guardianship.”
“You’re ridiculous,” you say, hopping over a puddle. 
He tosses his head back, laughing, and you feel your insides go all warm and gooey at how his hair moves with the motion. You can’t help but wonder what it feels like. 
“First, you don’t want to be friends, and now, you want our child to be one of divorce.”
You stop, resting your forehead against the cool stone of one of the courtyard walls. 
“Sirius, we haven’t even been married.”
He presses his forehead against the stone next to you, and you turn to look at him. “I’m pretty sure there are a good bit of people who’ve been married and know less about each other than we do,” he says. 
You smile at the wall and he catches it. 
“Besides, we’ve got the same music taste, and that means I’ve got to keep you around.”
“Is that so?”
“Yeah, that’s how this works. Didn’t you know?”
You brush at the side of your robes where you’ve now gotten moss remains on them. “I was not aware, no.”
“Haven’t you got class or something?” You ask him. His cheeks are pink from the cold, a stark contrast from the chill of his eyes, the sharp black of his hair. 
“Not for another hour. You?” 
“Yeah, actually.”
“So tell me something quick.” He spins a ring around his finger, a chunky silver one with something set into the center. “What’s your favorite color?”
“Seriously?”
He smiles. It’s gorgeous and full-fledged. You can’t believe he’s looking at you like that. It feels like some big error. 
“Sorry I set myself up for that one,” you say. “Um, it’s green.”
“Lovely. Now what shade of green are we talking?”
“Sirius.” You pout. 
“Come on now, chop chop.” He snaps his fingers. “Thought you had an excuse to ditch me or something?”
You roll your eyes. It seems that cocky ass grin never leaves his face. “Like a forest green. Trees and such.”
Sirius claps his hands together, metal clinking. “That’s fantastic. I’ll be sure to remember it. Mine’s purple, by the way, thank you for asking.”
“I bet you look stunning in purple, Sirius.”
He blushes. He actually blushes. You grab for his wrist and push his sleeve up to peer at his watch. 
“I’ll see you around, okay?”
For the first time in a long time, Sirius Black hasn’t got shit to say. No one ever makes him blush. 
————
“I don’t come to class one day, and you’ve made a new friend? Why couldn’t you have made a new one any other day? I think I need some time off. Maybe even early retirement.” 
Sirius smacks Remus on the shoulder where the latter lays stretched out in bed. The curtains are drawn one one side so that the only person they’re visible to is James, who is half asleep in the neighboring bed, glasses askew and tie on the brink of choking him. 
“It’s rude to abuse the wounded.” 
“You’re off your rocker, Lupin.”
Remus rubs his face, though he winces, his arms much too sore for any sort of activity. “Tell me about it.” 
“Feeling any better today?” 
“Yes, Sirius. I’m feeling fucking wonderful.”
“He’s being sarcastic.” James’ voice is muffled by the pillow he’s collapsed into. 
Sirius turns to look at his friend. “Yeah, no shit, Prongs. Thank you so much for enlightening me.”
James raises a weak arm, flipping him off. “Eat me.”
“You say that as if I won’t do it.”
James sits up, but only enough so that he may rearrange himself into a poorly structured child’s pose. “Stop being such fucking tease and do it then, babe.”
Remus rubs his eyes aggressively, like it might somehow rid him of his ever permanent longing for sleep. “Shove it, you two.” He peeks out from between his fingers at Sirius. “I thought you were saying how you’ve made someone else miserable with the joys of your friendship.” 
“Fuck you,” Sirius says.
“Yeah, yeah.”
“I did make a new friend. In herbology, since you decided to have a go with the moon and left me to perish.” Remus rolls his eyes. “They’re very kind, if you must know. We are co-parenting a Mandrake.”
James snorts into the mattress. 
“Is it really co-parenting if you’ll make them do all of the work?” Remus asks. 
James snorts again and Sirius leans over to smack him against the back. He lets out a pathetic cry that both of the other boys ignore. 
“I’m helping, asshole,” Sirius begins. “I’m supposed to go water the fucking thing in a bit if either of you need proof of life.” 
“Of your friend or of your child?” Remus reaches his arm out to grab hold of one of the bedposts and heave himself up. 
“Both.”
James slides off of his bed and starts to stretch, and a cacophony of cracking sounds follows, which is slightly concerning considering his age. “Sorry. I’m supposed to go and see Lils. But I expect a full report back, Moons.” He strips off his tie and pulls on a coat. The other two boys watch him bound across the room like they’re at a tennis match.  
James is gone so quickly you’d be amazed that he was half-asleep minutes before. 
“What a prick,” Sirius says from where he sits at the foot of Remus’ bed. He looks away from the door and at his friend. 
Sirius sets his hand on Remus’ knee. “You get any sleep this morning?” 
“Some. Not enough. Though it’s never enough, or whatever.” Sirius gets a pang in his chest. He wishes he could make it all better. 
“You want to get some fresh air? You can come with me to the greenhouses if you want, but you can stay here too. I’ll sneak down to the kitchens and get you something.”
“No, it’s okay. I’ll go with you. Sun’s not out, is it? It’ll kill my head.”
Sirius stands and peers beneath the drawn curtains. It’s cloudy, like it might storm, a thick layer of cloud lying over the grounds. “Nope. She’s hiding from you today.”
Remus nods and his friend walks back over to his bedside. “Come on, Rem.” 
He removes the blankets from over his lap and scoots to the edge of his mattress. Sirius holds out his hands for Remus to take. Sometimes he gets really woozy when he has to stand after nights like the last. His knees shake, but he’s steady once he’s up. Sirius keeps an arm around his back when there isn’t anyone in the halls to question Remus’ condition, but has to settle for watching his friends footing otherwise. 
Sirius gets Remus on a bench and makes a stop by Madam Pomphrey on the way, feigning a headache. She gives him a little bottle of these chewable tablets with instructions on how often to take them and tells him to come back if the ache persists. 
He hands the bottle to Remus when he’s finished, and the boy’s had the medicine for an entire four seconds before he’s chewing. It’s one of those headaches that stays dull, but any sudden movement and your entire skull is throbbing and he thinks he might just die. Remus thinks this every full moon. He is not dead. 
The trip to the greenhouse takes longer than usual, mainly because of Sirius’ tendency to baby Remus during his moon hangovers. He claims it’s because he doesn’t want a death on his hands, something about living up to the Black name, but Remus knows it’s really because Sirius is much more caring than he’d ever admit. 
“See? Look at this fucker. My child.” Sirius gestures dramatically at the potted plant. Remus leans up against one of the tables, only slightly amused, much more out of breath. 
He’s only just gone digging for a watering can when he hears the door open and glances up, assuming it’s another student having to monitor their own dirt ball. 
But it’s you. 
“What’s up, love?”
Remus’ eyebrows shoot up. He hadn’t realized when Sirius said he made a friend he actually meant friend. He’s never really seen Sirius look at someone that way. 
You stand by the doors, kicking the one you came through shut behind you. Sirius pretends like he’s not attracted to the movement. 
“Hi,” you say. You step a little further into the room. “I know it’s not my day to water, but frankly I was kind of worried you’d forget to do it.”
Remus turns to face you and laughs, full on. You grin at him. He’s never really looked at you before, but there’s no denying how sweet you look. He bets you could kick Sirius’ ass if you wanted. He also thinks Sirius might let you do it. 
Sirius straightens and flips his hair back as he does so. “You wound me.”
You shrug. “I was also slightly panicked you’d drown the thing, so there’s that.” 
Sirius walks over to the sinks, filling up his watering can, though you both know he could easily use a spell to do it instead. “So you came to supervise?”
“‘Fraid so.” You chew on the inside of your lip. 
“I don’t blame you,” Remus says. “He’s kind of a flake.”
“Fuck you, Rem.”
“Yeah, sure.” Remus pushes off of the table, moving in the direction of you and the doors. His head is starting to feel better. He leans in next to you, though his voice is anything but a whisper. “I don’t know why you’re putting up with him. Would’ve asked for a different partner myself.”
“She picked me!” You laugh, seeing Sirius put his hands on his hips out of the corner of your eye. 
Remus raises a brow at you. “Oh yeah?” He smiles at you. It’s a knowing expression, an understanding one. He keeps his eyes on you, but speaks to Sirius. “I’m gonna go for a walk, Pads. Come and retrieve me when you’re finished.” 
The squeeze Remus gives to your shoulder is kind. It tells you you’re safe with Sirius. With him. That you’re welcome. The glass door rattles as it shuts. 
“You really have no faith in me?” Sirius asks, spritzing the Mandrakes leaves. You peer into the pot, noticing he’s watered it just right. It’s not going to drown after all. 
“No, I’ve got plenty. Maybe I just wanted to see you again.” 
Sirius sets the bottle he’s holding down. “No shit.”
“Well you see, last time you asked me a question, and I didn’t get to ask you one of my own, and I figured I’d better do that if I want to keep the friendship alive, you know?”
Sirius is smiling at you. He can’t believe this–your teasing. 
He runs the pad of his thumb along your cheekbone. “So what’s the question?”
“Do you like pie?” you question.
“I do.”
“That’s good. Because I feel the same way, and rumor has it you can get into the kitchens, so I thought we could work together on this...and get pie. It’s like a reward. I put up with you and you put up with me kind of thing, so we get something to eat.”
Sirius tosses his head back, letting out a bark of a laugh. Your eyes linger on his neck for a second longer than they should. 
“Well the rumors are indeed true,” he says. “Guess we’ll have to ditch Remus, then. Make it a proper date and whatnot.”
“That seems unkind,” you chuckle.
“He’ll live.”
————
“What’s happening here?” Sirius throws himself into one of the chairs on the other side of the table where you and Remus sit. 
“We’re reading,” Remus tells him. “Go away.”
Remus had shown you to this table. Said it was his favorite. There are a small group of them in the very back of the library, behind one of the last rows of shelves. You wouldn’t know they were there unless you went looking. 
He said it’s where he goes to hide when James and Sirius won’t shut up and let him work, which is more often than not. 
“You whined about me making new friends,” Sirius says, “so that I’d leave you alone, and now you’ve taken it upon yourself to steal said friend from me?” 
You cover your face with your book, sliding deeper into your chair and trying your very best to fight off a giggle. 
Sirius reaches across the table and snatches the book from your hands. He wants to see the shit-eating grin you’re hiding. He stands and moves in front of you just when you bury your face in your sleeve. 
He tugs on the fabric of your shirt. “Traded me out then, have you?”
You snort into your sweater, and Sirius watched the way your shoulders shake. Remus eyes his friend’s hand, trying to make sure he didn’t lose your page with his frenzied antics. He didn’t though, pale thumb tucked into the paper.
Remus sets his own book down, stretching over the back of the chair. He’s thinking about going to bed. 
Instead of looking at Sirius like you know he wants, you turn to Remus.
“Leavin’ me, Rem?”
Sirius scoffs. Rem his ass. 
Remus lowers his head so that it’s level with yours. “Sleepy,” he says, squeezing his eyes shut. You look at the scar that runs through his brow and across his eyelid. There’s another by his ear. You wonder if he’ll tell you about them someday. 
He bumps his forehead—the gentlest of taps—with yours, and then he’s standing. Sometimes you forget how lanky he is when he’s always so hunched over. 
“Goodnight, Lupin,” you say. 
“Goodnight, you two. Don’t get too wild. This is still a library.”
Sirius takes the chair Remus had been occupying. You look at him, and reach for his hand. He wouldn’t even think about denying you taking it, even if he is being a grump. 
“I have not traded you out, Sirius.” He glares at you, though his eyes are still much too soft for it to be anything malicious. He’s not sure he could ever look at you in a hateful way. 
“You could’ve read with me,” he argues, tickling your palm. You try and wriggle your hand away, but he only presses his fingers firmly into your skin, keeping you there. 
“Come on.”
“No, you could have,” he continues. “I can be very well behaved, if need be.”
“Oh yeah?” You’re the one smirking now. Sirius is afraid he might never get this image of you out of his head. 
“Yeah.” He leans in, nuzzling his nose against your temple. When he pulls away, you realize he has a smattering of freckles under one eye. You have the urge to touch them, and so you do. 
He relaxes against your hand. “You’re very pretty, Sirius.”
“Thank you.” He kisses your knuckle. “You’re very pretty, too, sweets.”
“Thank you.”
In the weeks since your Mandrake project has finished—and the plant did indeed survive—Sirius has grown increasingly attached to you. Frankly he finds himself shocked that you’re willing to deal with him at all, let alone that his friends like you so much. He wasn’t even a little upset that you’re spending time with Remus. You have a lot in common, actually. 
He just likes to tease you. And he’s very good at it. 
“So you come looking for me because you need something? Or are you perhaps attention starved?” You question, taking your hand away from his face, though your other is still within his grasp. 
“Most definitely the latter.”
“What do you want me to do about it?”
He speaks close to your ear as if he’s about to spill the world’s most confidential information. “Is this a safe space?”
“Absolutely,” you assure him. 
“I want you to play with my hair,” Sirius says. 
You gasp, clutching at your nonexistent pearls. 
Your moment's pause makes him a little nervous. “Well let’s get on with it then,” you tell him.
You take Sirius up to your common room, it being much too late for anyone to be up. You slip your fingers into his hair, scratching at his scalp until he’s falling asleep and you’ve made promises of braiding it sooner or later. Eventually, you have to wake him, send him off to bed.
And he pouts. God, does he pout. But it’s okay. He’ll get you to do it again tomorrow.
————
please let me know if you liked this! feedback is always appreciated!! comments and reblogs mean more than you know. <33
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sukibenders · 10 months
Text
comfort and care
FEATURING: percy jackson x reader
summary: for the past few days, you've been noticing a change in percy's demeanor as of late. from the bags gathering under his eyes from lack of sleep to his more irritable nature, everything had screamed "wrong" to you. in your attempts to find some resolve, you set out to find ways to tend to his needs.
contents: sad!percy, poor boy is struggling (specifics aren't mentioned) and needs comfort, fluff, angst, mentions of lack of personal care (such as poor sleep and struggling emotional health), percy not being kind to himself (dismissing his feelings), concerned!reader, cute couple moments, reader takes care of percy, mentions of cooking but can easily be ignored or altered if you can't cook, percy calling you babe, i hope percy doesn't seem ooc in this.
note" thank you so much to everyone who showed support to my first percy x reader, as that really warmed my heart. this one came to mind when i thought about how little x reader imagines there are that involve percy receiving comfort and felt like our boy needed someone to be able to vent to. ergo, this came to be. hope you enjoy!
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You first noticed it during one of your weekly Iris Messaging calls with Percy, a familiar routine the two of you had come up with when you both had to leave camp to return to your respective household during the school season. It had helped ease the long-distance separation, considering demigods weren't allowed electronic devices such as phones with the risk of drawing the attention of monsters, and allowed for you both to speak for hours and hours without worrying about racking up on a phone bill. It was a bonus that it allowed you to see one another, especially now.
While it was evident that Percy was attempting to hide any signs of fatigue, you had known him well enough to see past the feeble attempts and hesitantly brought the issue forward. "You look tired," you had said, eyes scanning over his frame through the hazy messaging system. "When was the last time that you slept?"
At the question, Percy let out a soft laugh, waving his hand in dismissal. "C'mon, babe, let's not weigh down our talk with boring stuff like my sleep schedule. Wouldn't you like to focus on something more interesting?"
To which you retorted. "I would like focus on making sure that my boyfriend is doing okay, taking care of himself. That would interest me just fine."
The inky haired boy let out a small sound that rumbled in the back of his throat, taking in your words and the unwavering concern in your gaze. A part of him practically leaned towards you (or more so you image), wanting to seek you out for as much comfort as he could gain. But another, more darker part of him, had drew him to a halt and left his previous wants to plunder into nothing more than wants rather than needs.
"It's nothing, really." Lie. "I've just been stressed with school is all." Another lie, well, partially. "You know I'm not the sharpest tool in the box." He was attempting to be humorous, in hopes of drawing away your concern on to something else. It didn't work.
Your burrows narrowed in a way he'd only seen when you get protective over things that you care about, and being on the receiving end of that look made him wince. "Don't be so hard on yourself," you said with a stern tone. "Besides, I don't like it when people insult my boyfriend. He's a genius in his own ways."
"Even when it's me?"
"Especially when it's you." A part of you warmed slightly when you notice a glint of gratitude sparkle in the inky haired boy's eyes at your defense, even if it was from his own self. But, even with that, it did little to provide any solution to the dilemma at hand as Percy had used quick thinking to find a way of branching to a new subject that, before you knew it, left little room for you to return to your concerns before you both had to call it a night.
That didn't mean that this problem was over, nor would your attempts to fix it be hindered.
It would seem so that you weren't the only one to notice Percy's shift as most of your friends had noticed it too. From Annabeth, who was ready to report any of her findings discovered during the pairs talks with one another to you or other members of the Seven dropping casual hints of concern (Jason had mentioned that he noticed Percy's hands tremble whenever they would drag across his face, Leo had noted that his jokes---which were usually funny---had either fallen flat or gave a vibe of uneasiness, Hazel had commented on the way his smile no longer reached his eyes and so on). You had used your family phone to call Sally who at the time was nowhere near Percy, thankfully, and had nearly broken down to you over the phone about her worries. She had done the best she could, but she was only one person.
It didn't take you long to formulate a plan, all that was needed was a way of travel to the Jackson's residence. It was lucky for you that a certain son of Hades had been open to the idea of helping as he dropped you off via shadow travel in front of the apartment complex. After a thanks of gratitude, the di Angelo boy left with saying "Tell Percy that I hope he gets better" before disappearing into the shadows.
You had already informed Sally and Paul of your plan, and the two had readily abided by it by taking Estelle on a trip around the city, leaving you and Percy to have some alone time. By the time you had gotten to your destination, a sudden bundle of nerves had crept their way inside you as you waited for Percy to open the door. What if he didn't want you here? What if it only made him more upset? What if you being here simply did nothing at all?
All your thoughts were put on hold when the boy himself threw open the door, a look of surprise marking his features as he took you in, as if trying to determine whether you were really there or not.
"Surprise!" You had said with hopefully enthusiasm, a conscious smile painting your face as you waited for a response.
Instead of words, a pair of strong arms circled you and pulled you into a muscular chest, body molding around yours as two became one in a matter of seconds. "You're here." Percy mumbled, though more as a statement than surprise even though your sudden appearance was one for sure.
"Of course I am, babe." You smiled into his chest, rubbing your hands up and down his back in a way that you hoped would bleed all the love and comfort from your heart that you wished give.
It didn't take long for him to pull you in to the shelter of his apartment, and even less before the two of you reached his bedroom. You both had fallen on to his bed, laying side by side facing one another with a little distance to allow you to look into each other's eyes. It was moments like these were almost anything in the world could be happening, right outside the window even, and neither of you would care. All that would matter would be the warmth of your bodies pressed together, fingers interlocking in a complex hold that neither of you wanted to be freed from, and the mingling of your even breaths dancing with one another in the faintly lit room.
"I wished you told me that you were coming. I would've cleaned up a bit." Percy joked, waving a hand in the direction towards his mess of a room before rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly.
You let out snort, raising your hand to card your fingers through his messy locs. A smile pulled on your lips at the soft mewl that emitted from your boyfriend before he ducked his face into your neck. "I don't mind, I think my happiness at seeing you might overpower some of my observation skills."
Percy hummed. "Maybe I'm in luck then." You could tell that he was attempting to divert the conversation again, already knowing the reason for your abrupt visit. And a part of you was almost inclined to do so, wrapped in the comfort of your lover's embrace, physically after weeks of Iris Messages that left you only wanting more. But this social visit wasn't for you. As much as you wanted to lounge around all day, hearing Percy rattle off details of his days away or a spiel of jokes that would be sure to make you laugh.
But now was not the time.
"Percy," You whisper softly after a moment, thumb rubbing against the junction where his neck met his shoulders. He shivered, whether at the movement or your voice as the question he had been awaiting. "I've known you for a long time, like you've known me, and I can tell when something is wrong. Just as you would for me. And you and I both know that something is wrong. You haven't been yourself lately."
Percy didn't speak. His face remained hidden in your neck.
"You don't have to tell me right now as I won't force you. But I just want you to know that I'm here, and so are the others...if you ever want or need..." you pause, your hand stopping in its movements down his spine when you felt his body tremble beside you. "Percy?"
Labored breathing turned into harsh, muffled sobs that shook your heart with each one. Percy's usually tall frame clung to you as he pressed his face further into your neck, if that was even possible, littering the skin with a river of tears. The more he tried to speak, as if believing he had to explain himself, the more his words were choked by the sobs. You simply held him closer, pulling his body further into yours and caressing him from his back to his neck to scalp and back again, whispering comforting phrase from one's of love to one's of reassurance.
"It's all right," you whispered as he shook, running your nose along his temple. "You've been holding this in for a long time and now it's time to let it out. I've got you."
You both stayed like that until Percy's tears had run dry, until his heavy sobs turned into weak hiccups until his body stopped shaking and his breathing evened into one accompanied by an eased sleep. His body fell lacks at your side, his breaths tickling your skin every now and again. The collar of your shirt was dampened from Percy's tears, but you paid it no mind as you carded your fingers through his hair, soothing him even in his sleep because it was what he needed. What he deserved.
A thought had popped into your head when you felt your stomach growl in attention, your hunger taking focus as you realized, after looking at the clock on the bedside, how much time had past since between your arrival and now. Raising to your feet, taking precautions not to wake the sleeping boy, you slipped out of the room and towards the kitchen. Sally had been kind enough to offer to cook something before leaving, but you had simply offered to make something instead and leave one less thing for her to worry about.
You were an hour or so into cooking, the scents floating into the air and clouding throughout the apartment, when you heard hurried footsteps making their way down the hall. Glancing over your shoulder you watched as Percy slid into the room, his appearance ruffled from sleep but his eyes wide and alert as they scanned the room, searching for something. Or someone, more like it, as they stopped when they landed on you.
It seems as if a weight had left his shoulders as they dropped, no longer tense, and he easily made his way towards you. You were in his arms in less than a second, his face pressed into your hair as he breathe in deeply. "I almost thought it was all a dream. You being here."
You hummed, smiling into his arm. "Glad that I'm not?"
"You have no idea." You stood like that for a few moments, occasionally rocking back and forth to keep blood flowing through your legs when Percy spoke again. "Thank you. Thank you for...for..."
But you shushed him, shaking your head as you met his eyes. No words needed to be said, and he understood. His gaze drifted over to the assemble littering the kitchen counter with a raised brow. "Anything that I can help with?"
"Think you can handle it?"
This caused him to snort. "Please, I was raised by the Sally Jackson, learning how to cook was a given." He cracked his knuckles and rolled his shoulders confidently, moving closer the counter. "Now, chef, tell me what we're working with."
"Yes, chef!"
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widowmaxff · 5 months
Note
I’ve been having some bad days, could you write something where Y/N is having a rough week and pretends she’s fine except Wanda knows her daughter and comforts her?
I just love the way you write Wanda as a mother and that she just always knows
overwhelmed
pairings: mom!wanda maximoff × fem!reader
warnings: angst, reader crying, depressed reader — i think that's all!
a/n: tysm for your request love and im so sorry for your bad days, i really hope things get better for you and if you need someone to talk you can dm me, okay? <33
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Interacting with any other human being was the last thing you wanted to do today. Saying that you had a bad week was an understatement, all the bad things that could happen to you happened. And not just things around you, but also your mind didn't stop for a second. You felt so overwhelmed that anyone could see on your face how much that week was hurting you.
"This can't be happening right now." You mumble as you feel the raindrops start to fall on your head. There was still more than half the way until you arrived at the Compound, you didn't have an umbrella, much less a coat to protect yourself from the cold that would come. No one could come and get you since everyone was busy and you didn't want to disturb your mother, she had enough problems to deal with yours.
You were coming home from school after another stressful day. You've spent the last few weeks studying for an incredibly difficult test, especially in a subject you had difficulty with, and seeing that big red note made your urge to cry even more. You studied so much that you thought it was impossible for that to happen. So many nights without having slept and so many energy drinks wasted for nothing.
You were absolutely soaked when you stepped into the Compound. Your sneakers made a funny noise when you stepped on them, but the only thing you wanted to do now was take them off your feet and throw them at the person closest to you, shouting in their face. "You're going to clean this up, Little Maximoff." Tony's annoying voice says, obviously joking, but still your head hurt just hearing that you had to do something that day. Your jaw tightens and you close your eyes tightly, taking a deep breath.
"I know, Tony." You ramble, trying to keep your voice as calm as possible. You walk past him to head towards your room, feeling your eyes burn from having something else on your list of things that made your week worse than it already was.
On normal days the first thing you would do was go look for your mother in her office, but the last thing you wanted to do that day was worry her, because you knew that the moment she laid eyes on you she would know that something was wrong. And filling her with your problems would make you feel guilty for a long time, you hated making people feel sorry for you and looking like you were a baby. You just needed to calm down, didn't you?
"Fuck!" You scream when you see all your notebooks soaked, especially your sketchbook, which you spent hours and hours drawing. You drop your things on the floor and run your hands through your hair, taking a deep breath. You wished your mother was there now, she would know what to do and help you with whatever you needed to calm down, but you put that idea out of your head before you ran towards her arms.
You enter the bathroom connected to your room and take off your clothes before you catch a cold. The hot water from the shower makes your muscles finally relax after the terrible days you prayed would end. In a few seconds you no longer knew what water was or what the tears on your face were. All those things that happened in your week came together into one, and you started to feel like you were on that empty, dark hole that took you a long time to get out of. You thought that maybe the problem was you, that maybe you deserved all those bad things, from the smallest to the ones that made you cry and scream like that moment.
You didn't hear the knock on your door because your bad thoughts were so loud that it was almost impossible to even hear the shower water hitting the floor. But when Wanda entered her room after hearing no response, she felt like something was wrong at the moment. She looks at your completely wet things lying on the floor and frowns. You told your mom you didn't need a ride home from school, but apparently, you did.
"Honey, is everything okay?" When she heard the shower turning off after long minutes, she knocked on the bathroom door just to let you know she was there and see if everything was okay. "Yeah, I'll be out in a minute." You say in a low voice, taking a deep breath. You knew that the moment you left the bathroom, your mother would know that your bad thoughts came back again, but you also knew that she wouldn't pressure you to say anything.
You close the bathroom door quietly, finally looking into Wanda's green eyes and seeing the worry through them. She held your backpack in her hands with her face confused at you, because she wouldn't think twice to get in the car and drive to you. "I was almost here at the Compound and the rain caught me." You chuckled, trying to hide your red eyes, your cheeks and the tip of your nose with the same color as your mother's hair.
"Are you okay, love?" She asks again, her face relaxed now. You put a fake smile on your face, but still with enormous affection for your mother.
"Yeah, just a little upset that my sketchbook got ruined, but it's okay." You don't completely lie. Yes, you were upset that your drawings would now have to go in the trash, but no, nothing was okay.
"I'm sorry, sweetheart." Wanda says approaching you. You just throw it away, muttering 'it's okay' but she wraps her arms around you, giving you a relaxing hug. Your mother leaves a long kiss on your head, making the urge to cry increase even more. You loved all the affectionate actions that your mother gave you, it made you feel so vulnerable and light. "Come on, let's get you something to eat, shall we?" You didn't like eating when you were feeling bad like that, you felt like you were going to throw up when you put anything in your stomach because of the anxiety, but you just agreed.
You were so lost in your thoughts that you didn't even notice when you arrived in the kitchen which, unfortunately, was made up of a few people. You felt so overwhelmed that being in the same environment as some people made you feel even worse. The small group of Avengers on your left irritated you. The loud noises they made. The conversations. The sound of people swallowing food. The tapping of Steve's shoe on the floor. Everything irritated you. From the small scratches on the counter to the farthest lamp that blinked every one minute and two seconds. Wanda noticed that. She noticed that you were itching to keep from freaking out. That you closed your eyes tightly trying to ignore your surroundings. That she needed to do something to help. She wanted to come to you and ask what intrigued you so much. What made you take deep breaths and crack your fingers every second was curious.
"Thank you, momma." She almost didn't hear you because of your low and hoarse voice. Wanda leaves a kiss on your head as she watches your foot bouncing up and down, eating the sandwich she made.
Wanda debated in her head what she could do to make you feel better. She knew she couldn't pressure you into saying anything, but she was so worried that she would do anything to see you well again. And even if it got to the point where she had to read your mind, she couldn't. You somehow managed to block your mother from reading your thoughts and seeing what was wrong.
You place your plate in the sink, taking a deep breath. Finally you would get away from people and that feeling of anxiety would finally leave you, that's what you thought. You thought that just a few hours of lying in bed doing nothing would solve your problems, but deep down, you knew that wasn't what would happen. And, now walking towards your room, not even your plan of closing yourself under the covers would be complete, as your mother followed you with the comfortable atmosphere that she always exuded.
You lie in your bed watching your mother calmly wait for your permission to lie down next to you. You nod to her with a smile on your face. Wanda puts her arms around your body, running her hand on your back, making your body relax. You loved these moments between the two of you, you realized how important you are to her and how loved you are. "You know you can always talk to me, don't you?" She murmurs, making you lean into her even more. Your face was in the crook of her neck, hiding how your lip trembled trying to hold back your crying. "I love you so much, sweetheart."
You finally let out a sob when Wanda murmurs those words that came out of her mouth so sweetly. Her grip around you tightens as she feels tears fall onto the skin of her neck, leaving a kiss on your head. The caress on your back never stopped, reassuring you that you were safe in your mother's arms. "It's okay, baby. Everything's going to be okay." You hated crying out loud, but at that moment you couldn't control all those feelings that made your heart ache spilling across your face, and Wanda was there to remind you that it was okay to cry and feel that way. "I-I'm sorry."
"Honey... we never apologize because of our emotions, right? Never." Wanda pulls you to place you on her lap, making you lay your head on her chest. You start playing with the hem of your mother's shirt, sniffling as you try to think of words you could say to her. "Do you want to talk about it, детка?"
"It was just... a bad week." You murmur, snuggling even closer to Wanda, feeling her heartbeat in your ear, which made you calm down a little more. "I just- I'm just feeling so overwhelmed and... and I don't know what to do."
"Oh, baby... it's okay. We'll get through this, yeah? It's okay to feel this way and I'll help you with whatever you need, my love." She strokes your hair, making your body relax in her lap. You agree, feeling her comfortable words enter your ears and help you with the horrible thoughts. "You're so strong, honey. Remember you're not alone, okay?" You mumble something, agreeing with her. You never knew how Wanda could make you feel better with just a few words, maybe it was her magic? You never knew. But she would always be your best friend and the person who would always make you feel better again. "Thank you, momma."
You would never be able to explain how grateful you were to have your mother by your side, because there are so many people in the world who don't have that comfort, and just thinking about not having someone to help you through your episodes made you feel sick. Even if she didn't say it, you knew Wanda was afraid you'd go back to that time when the hole was deeper than it is now. You remember exactly how she cried with you when you vented to her about everything you were feeling, and how she helped you every step of the way again.
"You don't need to thank me, детка. I love you so much, okay? I will always be by your side, on whatever you need." And you knew she was telling the truth, because Wanda loves you so much. You will always be her little miracle and the most important thing in her life. She feels so proud of you, because she knows that you can get through this, that you are strong enough to get through all the challenges in your life. She believes in your ability to overcome these difficult times - because you can - and there will always be people to support and walk alongside you, because you'll never be alone.
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babybatss-blog · 7 days
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WHEN STARS ALIGN
sirius black x f!reader, 950 words
cw: Sirius has familial issues, crying, mostly just angst.
summary: fate has brought both you and Sirius to the astronomy tower after a rough night. Lucky for you two, you know just the way to comfort each other.
Letting out a deep sigh, you walk promptly towards your dorm. Merlin, you just need a break from all the stress. Between school, friends, and hobbies, you haven’t even had a moment to rest the last couple of days. It feels as if your head is underwater, and just when you break the surface a rough hand pushes you down. And right now is no exception. Bursting through the door, you see your dorm mates chatting on the floor.
“Oh hey hun! Want to join us?” One of the lively girls ask. You politely refuse, then shuffle over to your bed, pulling the curtains around it’s four posts and putting on your headphones to have a moment to yourself. Now that the music is on you close your eyes, letting yourself get pulled away by the rhythmic instruments and soothing vocals. It’s such a comforting thing, music. No matter how soft or loud, it’s there through thick and thin. Unlike your friends, who you can still hear squealing and giggling at jokes despite the volume of your music. You attempt to continue focusing on the music, but the incessant squawks from your friends completely draws you away from it.
With a huff, you get out of bed and march to the door. “Are you okay?” One asks, but you just throw a “yes” over your shoulder to her. All you need right now is some peace and quiet, high above every issue and noise. And you know exactly where to go.
Flights of stairs take you higher and higher and higher, up to the top of the colossal castle. It’s sunset now, so no one would be where your planning to go as it’s only really a night occasion. Therefore, the sight of the extroverted Sirius Black, sitting on the stone is a surprise for your weary eyes.
“Sirius?” You tentatively ask, unsure if he is just a vision from your delirious mind. The boy turns around to face you with those grey eyes that cause you to know certainly this is real. But they don’t glimmer like they usually do, instead they are misty and red behind wet eyelashes.
“Oh… Hey.”
Could he be crying? Surely not, you’ve always known him as such a enigmatic man, coated in an air of mystic and confidence that is unattainable to anyone else. “Hey Sirius. I didn’t expect to see anyone here.” He huffs a chuckle. “Me either.”
“Can I sit with you?” Ignoring your past timidness you poise the question. Why? You don’t know. But the sight of your friend whom doesn’t care about your issues seems like a welcome one, something that could ease your current tension. He nods, so you sit next to him. Against your better judgment, you ask the question weighing heavily in the air. “Are you alright…?” He thinks. Like really thinks. His brows crease and his bottom lip curls inwards at the question, as if he is a toddler asked about quantum physics. “No, not really.” He confesses, looking down at a crumpled piece of paper in his clenched hand. “Do you want to talk about it?”
Without a second to think, he sighs and hands you the piece of paper. It contains a long, written note, in dark blue ink and swirly cursive writing. It’s from a woman of the name Walburga, who seems to be his mother. But you wouldn’t guess she was if it wasn’t written in the piece, due to the long list of profanities and harsh words she berates him with. It outlines her disappointment in the boy for not appearing at his cousins birthday, and therefore he is a “regret” and “scorn” on the family name.
“Merlin Sirius…” You knew his family were pureblood purists who he doesn’t associate with, but not to this extent. Looking at the boy next to you, who now has tears streaming down his face you cannot believe his strength to put up with this for so many years.
“I don’t want to go back. I can’t go back and see them again I can’t take it” He admits, voice shaking and weak. You envelop him in a hug, his trembling shoulders dissolving in your touch. The two of you sit there for at least half an hour, him crying into your skin and you whispering words of affirmation as you rub his back.
“I’m here for you.” “Your safe.” “I’ve got you.”
After a bit, he calms down. You stroke his hair as he rereads the letter, before ripping it to shreds! “Sirius what are you-?” You start to laugh after realizing what he is doing, before picking up the remnants from the stone floor and throwing them off the balcony, watching them float down to the grass far below. Sirius does the same, before throwing an arm around you and smiling at your face watching the wisps of paper disappearing below.
“Thank you.” He says, more sincere than you have ever heard him before. You look up to his piercing eye contact, smiling at his gorgeous face. “Of course. I wouldn’t want my favourite friend to sit here sulking! “Favourite hey?” He wiggles his eye brows in response. You of course roll your eyes, because there is no way you would let him have the satisfaction of your softness any longer.
“Hey, want to go and steal some cake from the kitchen?” He asks.
“Hell yeah.” You respond.
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hina-hina · 1 year
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Hi bestie! I really love you’re writing and was wondering if you could maybe do a fic where Ghost and reader have a kid who absolutely prefers their dad over anyone else- and Ghost is just so confused about it. The brainrot has me bad lmao
Hello friend!! We can make this a sort of unofficial sequel to the other Ghosh with a child headcanon post because its just so cute (★‿★) Thank you for requesting!!
|| Ghost x Reader with a Child that Prefers their Dad to Anyone Else ||
Warnings: tiny amount of angst
Gender-neutral!Reader // Romantic
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Ghost had always been quite scared to be a father
I mean, we all know what his was like
He was determined to not be anything like his father but he would always have fears of hurting your kid
During pregnancy, he would have nightmares about it and then would feel guilty for waking you up
Lots of late nights were spent assuring him that he was going to be a great dad
So when the child is actually born, he is so shocked when they just cling to him
It starts even when they're a baby
Like, the kid would just start crying and nothing would sooth them until Ghost held him
He is so shocked and just stares at you with wide eyes as the baby immediately stops crying
You find it very funny
He is very concerned
Whenever he has to go back to work, he is so worried to leave the two of you
Not only because he's scared something will happen to you, but also because he knows the baby is going to freak out on you
And yeah, he was definitely right about that
You were so stressed out the first time it happened
Eventually the baby gets used to him being gone but still will throw fits like that sometimes
They love seeing their dad on video calls, never fails to brighten their mood
As the kid gets older, they begin insisting on helping with the care packages you send Ghost
They would write their own (heavily misspelled) letter to him and draw lots of pictures for him
He pins each one up in his barracks
They would also, with your help, make him cookies or other sweets
Ghost was never really big on desert but he still doesn't even share with the others in 141
When Ghost comes back, he will take them to have just a day with the two of them
He would of course make time for a date night with you and a outing with all three of you as well
They love every minute of it, non-stop talking and telling Ghost about school and other stuff that has happened while hes gone
He listens quietly, never even daring to tell them to slow down or not talk as much
When ever he has to go back on an assignment, it's always a messy affair
Lots of tears, lots of hugging and begging him not to leave again
He doesn't want to and an early retirement is looking more and more pleasing
But he would just hold them as the two of you explain that his work is very important and that he'll call whenever he can
The kid would still end up crying themselves to sleep, leaving both of their parents teary eyed
He loves bringing gifts back to them
Brags about his kids achievements to Soap
Looks forward to the video calls whenever things get hard on the field
Even if he was dead tired, he would still make time to jump on call with the two of you
Looks forward to coming home after every assignment the most
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bingbongsupremacy · 20 days
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Strangers
Accidentally posted this one first. Oh Well. I'm working on Notice Me.
Pairing: Steve Harrington x Reader
Summary: Steve from school is completely different than Steve in the back of his car at 12 in the morning. Why is it that he only talks to you when he wants something from you?
Warnings: asshole!steve, cursing, idk if there's anything else.
I tried to make this as non-specific as possible. If I happened to specify anything, please let me know and I'll fix it.
*Not Proof Read*
Based on Strangers by Kenya Grace.
♤♤♤♤♤♤
" I like being here with you. " Steve's voice is soft. He gently brushes a strand of my hair out of my face, his eyes staring into mine.
I smile at him. " I like being here with you too. "
His eyes shimmer in the glimmering moonlight. His lips curl into a smile, his teeth barely peeking through.
We don't say anything else. Instead we both stare up at the sky, enjoying each other's presence.
The air is cold but I don't mind. Steve's close body helps to keep me warm. It's moments like these I love. The world feels so safe and peaceful. No stress. No anxiety. Just us and the stars.
Steve gently draws circles onto the back of my hand. His touch is faint and tender but it leaves a patch of heat behind its path. He has that effect.
I wonder what he's thinking. When he looks at me, what does he see?
" I should get you home. Don't want you to break curfew. " Steve breaks the silence. He gently pulls my hand up to his lips before leaving a soft brief kiss on my knuckles. It's so light I can hardly tell he touched me.
Steve stands up but doesn't let go of my hand. Immediately, I miss his warmth and the smell of wood mixed with aftershave that always follows him.
Steve helps me stand up before finally letting go of my hand to pick up the blanket we were on. We make our way back to Steve's car, listening to the faint cricket noises as we step off of the field we're on.
When we get into his car Steve asks me about my day. He always checks in about my day on our way back to my house. It's sweet.
The night is over before I'd like it to be. Soon Steve is pulling onto my street and eventually stopping at the curb by my house.
It's about right now when I begin to wish the trip to my house was longer.
" Here we are. " Steve says while looking over at me. " I'll see you tomorrow? " His eyes are hopeful.
I smile. " Of course. Bye Stevie. " I open my door.
" Wait. " Steve calls, gently grabbing my arm. His other hand gently cups my cheek and brings me towards him. His eyes flicker down to my lips before making their way back up to my eyes. His breath is warm on my skin, the faint smell of peppermint lingering on his breath. He slowly leans down and his warm, soft lips meet mine.
His kiss sends shivers down my spine. Warm butterflies erupt in my stomach. I gently run my hand through Steve's already slightly messed up hair.
His lips feel desperate and hungry. His hand slides around to the back of my neck as he gently cups my head.
I want to stay like this forever.
Unfortunately, we can't. We both break away, breathless and flushed.
The cold air from my open door floods my heated skin.
A small smile breaks onto Steve's face. " Goodnight, baby. "
" Goodnight. "
Steve watches as I make my way into my house, ensuring I get inside safely. I lean against the closed front door with my ear against it. The sound of Steve's car fades away, muffled by the wood.
Until tomorrow.
♤♤♤♤♤
" Eddie stop scaring children. " I roll my eyes at the older boy who's mid lunge at a group of freshman.
His hands are up high, fingers spread out to look like claws. His lips are twisted into an exaggerated grin.
One of the underclassmen let's out a started yelp before dodging behind their friends. The group of freshmen moves away from us, curses and middle fingers flying towards Eddie who returns the gesture.
Eddie let's out a loud laugh as he rushes to catch up with me. " Somebody's gotta humble those fuckers. "
We stop at my locker. " What'd they even do? " I ask while spinning my combo into the lock.
Eddie leans against one of the lockers near mine. " They made fun of the club's shirt design. " He gestures to his chest where the design is currently located. " Dustin spent hours making this. That little shrimp put his heart and soul into this thing. How dare they shit on it. " Eddie's words are frustrated.
" I'm sorry, Ed. " I sigh sympathetically while setting my stuff inside my locker.
" I'm just hoping Dustin doesn't catch wind of what they're saying. " Eddie replies honestly. He crosses his arms over his chest, his eyes wandering to the boy who's chatting with his friends at the end of the hall. " Little dude's already having a tough enough time dealing with the outrageous amounts of homework they're piling on him, he doesn't need to be worrying about making a new design too. "
I've always admired how protective Eddie is over his friends, especially Dustin who he treats like a brother. He will always stand up for them, no matter how stupid it makes him look.
" There's Tweedledee and Tweedledumbass. " Eddie nods to someone behind me.
I look over to see Steve walking down the hall with his group of friends surrounding him. His laugh sends butterflies soaring around my stomach.
Tommy sticks his leg out partially, causing a passing boy to trip and nearly drop his books. This sends Tommy and Carol into a bout of laughter.
" What an ass. " Eddie mutters. " Carol and Steve are no better. "
" Eddie. " I sigh, a frown forming on my lips.
" What? They just stand there and let him do shit like that. They're bullies, just like him. They're shallow jerks who don't have enough brain cells to realize that other people in the world exist and not everything revolves around them. I mean, have you ever seen either of them stop Tommy or help someone he's fucked with? "
He has a point. While Steve might not be engaging in the bullying, he definitely doesn't do anything to stop it.
But he's not a horrible person. The Steve I know, the Steve who's with me almost every night, is kind and gentle. He's caring and smart. He's different.
" He's just complicated. " I defend the boy.
" Why are you defending him so much? " Eddie asks, his eyebrows furrowed in confusion.
Steve and his friends pass by and I manage to catch his eye. I send him a small smile.
Steve sends me a small nod, quickly returning to his conversation with Tommy.
I've given up on saying hello to him in the halls. The last time I tried he gave me a forced awkward smile and Tommy wouldn't stop questioning him on why he was talking to me.
It's just easier to not say anything and smile. He knows I'm saying hi.
" Fuck no. " Eddie blurts. " You're with him again. "
I turn my attention back to Eddie. " Ed-"
" What the fuck? He treats you like shit! Why the fuck would you get back together with Steve Harrington? " Eddie hisses. He's never been the biggest fan of Steve. Actually, he's one of his biggest haters. When he accidentally found out Steve and I were hanging out, he lectured me for an hour on why I shouldn't date someone like Steve.
Like I said, he's protective over his friends.
I slap a hand over Eddie's mouth, looking around the make sure no one's paying attention. " Shut the fuck up, Eddie! Someone could hear you! " I let go of his face and drag him towards one of the empty classrooms. I close the door behind us.
" What the fuck are you thinking? Steve of all people? "
Anger bubbles in my chest. He thinks he knows Steve. He doesn't. Steve isn't as bad as he thinks. " You don't know him like I do, Eddie! Stop pretending you to! He's sweet and kind and he gives a shit about me. "
Eddie scoffs. " He's trying to get in your pants. Why else would he be forcing you to keep your shit a secret? Really, think about it. Have you two ever actually gone out together? Have you been seen together? " Eddie's eyes are narrow with anger. " He is using you and you refuse to see it. He barely even acknowledges you in the halls. "
" I'm a big girl, Eddie. Look, I appreciate your concern but I am going to do what I want to do. This is my life and I know what I'm doing. I don't need you to protect me from this. "
Hurt flashes across Eddie's features. " You know what, fine. " He walks towards the door and grabs the handle. " I know deep down you know he's using you and you're just too afraid to admit it. Do what you want but don't say I didn't warn you when he breaks your heart. " With that Eddie leaves, not bothering to shut the door behind him. I watch as he disappears in the crowd of students.
A sinking feeling fills my stomach. Deep down I know he's right.
But if I admit that, then I have to end things with Steve and I don't know if I'm ready to do that.
♤♤♤♤♤♤
Steve has never taken me on a date in public. It's always a late night picnic in the park or a pool date at his house.
It didn't use go bug me. I was just happy to be with him. Happy to get to know the real Steve.
But ever since my conversation with Eddie a few days ago I've started to notice the things he pointed out.
Eddie's still mad at me. He's back to talking to me but it's superficial and short. Not like how it used to be.
The ride back to my house is quiet and honestly I'm thankful for that. I need to think.
Why does Steve only want to hang out after dark. Is he embarrassed of me? Why is he so open when we're alone but so distant when we're at school?
Steve pulls to a stop. " I'll see you tomorrow? " He asks like usual.
The moon lights up his face, casting a beautiful glow over his features. A loose strand of his now messy hair lays gently against his forehead. His eyes are big and bright.
He looks so good.
" Steve, " Am I really doing this? " I actually need to talk to you. "
Confusion flashes over his face. His smile fades slightly. He picks up my hand and gently begins to draw invisible shapes on my palm. " Sure. Is everything alright? "
Here we go.
" Actually no. "
Steve tenses.
" This has been bugging me for a little bit so I'd figure I'd ask. " I take a small deep breath. " Why are we doing this? "
Relief floods Steve's face and he let's out a small nervous chuckle. " What do you mean. I like you and you like me so naturally we hang out. "
I shake my head and pull my hand away from the boy. " That's not what I mean. Why are we doing this in secret? Why won't you say hi to me in the halls? "
Steve's smile fades. " What? " He obviously wasn't expecting this.
" Why do you treat me so differently at night than you do during the day? "
My heart is pounding. I'm afraid to hear his answer.
Steve sighs. " Because...Because I thought you liked hanging out at night. "
" I do, Steve. I really do. But the problem is you don't even acknowledge me at school? I'm confused what the fuck is going on between us. " Anger bubbles in my chest.
" It's just what we've always done. " I can tell Steve's beginning to get a frustrated.
" That's not good enough. "
" I don't know what the fuck you want me to say! "
" I want the truth, Steve! I just want the truth. " I answer honestly. " I'm confused about us and- "
" I'm embarrassed of you! " Steve blurts.
My heart drops. " What? "
Steve's eyes widen. " Fuck! I didn't mean to say it like that. "
" Then how did you mean to say it, Steve? "
" I-Look, I really like you, Y/N, but we don't...run in the same circles. " Steve states slowly.
" So? "
Steve lets out a sigh. " You...I hang out with people like Tommy and Carol. You don't. It just...if we went public it would...complicate things. "
I'm not good enough for him. He's basically saying I'm not popular enough for him. What the fuck.
" Because I'm not popular and you are. " I scoff, shaking my head. " You know, you act like a dick at school and some part of me thought that deep down there was no way you were actually like that. I was wrong. You're an asshole, you know that? I never realized you were so shallow. You are just like Tommy and Carol. "
Steve's eyes turn dark. " I am not like like Tommy. "
" You're right. You're not. You're worse. At least Tommy's upfront about being an asshole and isn't tricking people into thinking he actually gives a shit about them. "
I feel like crying. I'm so angry right now.
" What the fuck do you expect? You hang out with people like Eddie Munson and his little band of rejects! " I've never seen Steve this angry before. " This was a fucking mistake. We never should've started doing this. "
That hurt. His last sentence sends a blow to my heart, officially shattering it into pieces.
For a moment I'm silent, trying not to cry. Suddenly this car I've grown to love feels suffocating. Memories of our times in the back seat or on the hood watching the stars fill my mind. What was the fucking point of all of this for him?
" You know, Eddie may be a 'freak', but at least he doesn't give a fuck what other people think. He doesn't care if others see us together. His whole life isn't a popularity contest. " I whisper. " You're right Steve, this was a mistake. Don't talk to me again. Whatever the fuck this is ends now. " With that, get out of his car, not bothering to look back when I make it inside.
Unlike every other night, Steve's dropped me off, I don't wait by the door to listen to him drive away. Instead, I head upstairs debating whether to call the guy I know I can rely on.
He's mad at me though.
But he still cares.
" Hello? " Eddie's groggy voice mumbles through my telephone.
" Eddie. " I swallow harshly. " I'm sorry. " I try not to let the tightness in my throat prevent me from talking. " I should've listened to you. "
Eddie sighs, sounding more awake than he was moments ago. " What happened? "
" I ended it. You were right. He's embarrassed of me. He was fucking hiding me to protect his ego. "
" I'm sorry, kid. " Eddie's tone is sympathetic. " He's a dick. You deserve better than to be treated like that. You deserve someone who knows you're worth. Someone who's not afraid to be with you. You'll find that person someday. "
" I don't know, Ed. I miss him. " It feels so stupid it's only been a few minutes, but I do miss him. " But I'm also so fucking angry. He's so shallow. I'm so mad at myself for getting myself into this situation. "
" You fell in love. You can't choose who or when you fall in love. Unfortunately, you fell for the wrong guy. You'll get over this, kiddo. You just need to keep moving forward. "
I lay down on my bed, staring up at the poster on my ceiling. It's a poster Steve gave me on my birthday, one from one of my favorite bands.
I don't know where I'd be without Eddie. He's different than how other people expect him to be. He's always looking out for the people around him.
" Eddie? " I whisper after a moment of silence.
" Yeah? " He responds back, equally as quiet.
" Thank you. "
I might not have Steve anymore but I'll always have my friends, and that's the most important thing to me.
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thesarcasticreader · 1 year
Text
PAC 18+: WHO IS HAVING WHAT FANTASIES ABOUT YOU?
IF YOU ARE MINOR, OFF YOU GO FROM THIS POST. ENJOY A TEA PARTY, NOT AN 18+ READING!
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These are general readings meant for entertainment purposes. You can partake in advice, but do not let it cloud your decision-making.
I do take paid readings. You can contact me for them. Make sure you have either Paypal or Gpay! DM for the price list!
(IMAGES ARE TAKEN FROM PINTEREST)
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Pile 1:
This person will love hugging. It's not a kink but they love it very much. For very few, they could be into the whole spanking thing. They are on the dominant side. They fancy you misbehaving and them schooling you, so there's that.
They love seeing you in flowy, risqué dresses. Something about wearing basically that netted lingerie is coming through. They would want you to embrace your body as it is and prefer it when you do not hide your body from them. They will want you naked all the time. If you are home, you remain naked. That’s their rule. This person hates beating around the bush when it comes to sex. They see it as a natural thing, and they do not give a fuck about what the world says. They live fully.
They will play out every single one of their fantasy. They love cuddling after sex. You two can share some food and drinks or even cigarettes if that's your thing afterwards. Your pillow talk will include food.
Strawberry would be their favourite food. You could smell or taste like strawberries to them.
They love blowjobs/ oral from you. They literally cannot get enough of your mouth. They would die a very happy person if they received orals for the rest of their lives.
They are scared of losing you to someone else. They would write you love letters and even give you gift baskets randomly. They would love to take you out for a picnic and then draw out an orgasm or two.
This person is religious and traditional. They may ask your assistance if they are into witchcraft Lilly and orchids may have relevance. Marriage is sacred to them. They only marry when they are sure.
They don’t want anyone who is materialistic. Out of place but this person loves a fluffy bed with a lot of pillows. Guess they use the pillows to settle you in the perfect position. Try it if you haven't. It helps.
They aren’t vanilla but they aren’t crazy wild either. This is respectful sex with multiple rounds.
They love coloured hair. They are going to be obsessed with watching you sleep. They may even wake you up with sex. Morning sex is their favourite. Take it as it resonates but threesomes orgies may be their thing. Or at least they will fantasize about it. They may have grown up on a farm. Their fantasies include taking you from behind and fingering you at the same time.
They are the more dominant in the relationship. You two are tied to fate or maybe a twin flame.
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Pile 2:
Death by orgasm. That's it. That's what came through immediately. You will be a little overwhelmed when you sleep with this person. They give it all. All or nothing is their motto.
This person is super possessive. They will not tolerate anyone hitting on you. They will mark their territory, drag you home and mark you some more. A very heavy Scorpio energy. You or they may have a Scorpio venus. Capricorn is prevalent too.
Makeup sex would be their thing. They fight and fuck. Hehe.
Sore body parts and all the work. You probably know where this is going, but the relationship with this person can be toxic.
Britney's Toxic playing in the background. 🎶🎶With a taste of your lips, I'm on a ride You're toxic, I'm slippin' under With a taste of a poison paradise I'm addicted to you🎶🎶
Anyway, To alleviate stress this person would go for sex. Let’s put it this way. All of life’s problem has one solution according to this person and that’s sex. This person's approach is flawed but in an odd way. They are not overly optimistic but they aren't pessimistic either. You could describe their view of the world as mundane. Is that a weird word? Sure. But it's true. They are flexible in thinking but they don't give two fucks about things.
This person may piss you off a bit sometimes. They can be secretive and impulsive. They have a mouth that runs a mile too long. This can frustrate you and flare insecurities, that's why if you meet this person or have met this person, hesitate to enter into this relationship until you are sure that this person has the ability to self-reflect and adapt.
They love your boobs. They stare at those a lot. For the male audience, the feminine is going to be leaving bite marks all over your upper body. Plus if you ever try to seduce them, they are a goner. The fun part is if you tease them throughout the day bit by bit. They are going to torture you through the night. Delaying orgasms, and edging all the good but frustrating stuff  This person expresses themselves through sex.
Hibiscus may be important for this pile. Pineapple is what they would describe your smell. There may be communication issues at the beginning of this relationship. This person will learn to listen. Be patient with them. Rough hardcore sex is their thing. Oof, your poor legs.
This person has a lot of healing to do. This feels like a twin flame thing. It's not bad, but there is a lot of misunderstanding because many of the habits are being reflected and they/ you may want to run away from but cannot.
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Pile 3:
This person will indulge in a lot of car sex and kitchen sex. This person is someone who will love to introduce aphrodisiacs in the bedroom or the kitchen, anyway.
Shower sex is there but you guys are not going to indulge in that one very much.
Vanilla is what you smell like to them. Poison ivy may have some relevance to this pile. Plants have come through for each pile. So idk if that's a message for me to start doing green witchcraft or encourage people for the same. Confusing times.
This person would love to tie your legs together, hold them up and pound it out. In the case of the feminine, she will love to tie you up. Her personality is going to be more dominant than yours. She would not be shy about sex. This pile may be drawn to pile 1 as well. There is a lot of difference in the relationship dynamics and that may be why you chose this pile.
This person is very transformative. They like to adapt and change as per the world. Not in a superficial way, but having a transformational mindset. They are very, very progressive. This person could like the colour green.
This person may travel a lot too. You would have to opportunity to explore a lot of places with this person. Greece, Turkey and Morrocco came straight through. This person will introduce you to a part of this world you would have never thought you would be a part of. This person does seem financially well-off. Like taking two trips to foreign countries rich. That's pretty amazing. You may be expecting a little more from this person but you do have certain financial insecurity which you could project onto them. Time to do shadow work!
You are going to be smaller than this person if you are feminine. And for the masculine, this person is going to be smaller than you.
You know how some people mark great memories of new places with sex? Yeah. That’s this person. You guys will celebrate with sex when you travel to a new place.
Basically very experimental, not dull and dour. Tying you up may be on the menu every now and then while teasing with a vibrator.  This person would love to gift you sex toys  And you are going to love to tease this person. They are a big fan of that habit.
They love to see you masturbate. Knee-high boots and wearing nothing is the key to their pants. They might give you a red necklace as a present too.
They love grabbing you when you walk past them. It could be the ass the boobs whatever. There is also another element. You two gossip a lot.
Like if there’s tea that either of you heard, both of you know. There is no point in asking you to not tell anyone because you will tell this person. You two are like besties.
IF YOU WANT MORE READINGS, YOU CAN CHECK MY INSTAGRAM: @A_sarcastic_Reader.
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rollingsins · 1 year
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all hers, part xviii
part i | part ii | part iii | part iv | part v | part vi | part vii | part viii | part ix | part x | part xi | part xii | part xiii | part xiv | part xv | part xvi | part xvii | part xviii | part xix | part xx | part xxi | part xxii | part xxiii | part xxiv | part xxv | part xxvi | epilogue
summary: R and the Scooby-gang put into place their Ghostface trap.
warnings: (+18), Tara is Ghostface, violence, murder.
word count: 2.1k
a/n: thought it was time for the GF reveal! were you right? wrong? idk, let me know!
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You make it to the school in the passenger seat of Sam’s car without speaking the entire journey. 
You feel hollow. Like the world is crumbling around you, and Sam must feel it too. Her grip on the wheel is tight, sturdy, like she knows exactly what she has to do now. 
What you both have to do now. 
Get him. Kill him. For Tara. 
Mindy’s waiting outside the school when you pull up. 
She peers into the backseat, looking for Tara, looking a little confused when she can find her. 
“Where’s Tara?” Mindy asks.
Sam brushes her off. 
“Change of plan. Tara isn’t coming. It’s just us.”
Mindy’s eyes widen. 
“Sam,” She says, voice slow. Her eyes dart to you, “We can’t do this without Tara.” 
“Tara isn’t coming,” Sam stresses, “And we need to do this. For Tara, do you understand?” 
Mindy blinks. She fidgets with her phone. 
“I’m going to call her first and check.” She eyes you, no doubt terrified of the consequence if something were to happen to you. Tara isn’t shy about her love for you, and she certainly isn’t shy about what would happen to anyone who ever hurt you. 
“She’s been arrested,” You say, voice impatient, “She won’t pick up. The only way to help her is to catch this guy.” 
Mindy gawps. 
“She’s been arrested?”
“There’s no time,” Sam says, urgently, “Mindy, come on. YN, go to detention.” 
She puts her hands on your shoulders, squeezes tight. 
“And good luck.” 
-
The plan is so stupidly simple, yet there are about a hundred ways it can go wrong. 
You run through them on your way to detention, mind whirling, barely having the strength to put one foot in front of the other. 
Firstly, the band of so-called Ghost-face protectors is possibly the worst collaboration of people in the entire school to do the job. Chad’s a meathead. Liv, his ditzy companion. Mindy is all ludicrous theories and useless horror film knowledge, and you’re either so small or so weak your hundred pound, five foot one girlfriend can put you on your back without so much as breaking a sweat. 
Your only saving grace, it seems, is Sam. 
You’d left her with Mindy, shotgun in hand, dressed in a tank top and a pair of old ripped jeans, looking very much like she’s about to rip through a horde of zombies, rather than take on a single Ghostface. 
The only bright side to this awful situation is you no longer have to worry about Tara at the end of Ghostface’s knife. But the alternative - Tara locked in a jail cell for the rest of her life, is almost as bad. 
Principal Garcia greets you, looking very much like he’d rather be anywhere else on his Saturday off. Sam had called ahead about Tara and he either doesn’t care, or can’t be bothered to ask how she is. 
Instead, he sits at the front of the classroom, peering down at a newspaper through his spectacles as you settle into the front desk, nervously tapping your foot against the ground. 
Your eyes draw to the clock on the wall. 
The quiet click. The sound of Principal Garcia flipping his newspaper every now and then. Your heart is in your throat and it’s pounding so loud it drowns out almost everything else. 
This has to work. 
It if doesn’t - you’re fucked. 
You look behind you, to the closets lining the back of the room and pray Chad and Liv are already in there. You have one of Sam’s handguns in your backpack. You keep it on your lap, resting your hand on it, needing it close. 
Minutes pass. 
Ten. Twenty. Thirty. 
No sign of Ghostface. 
Your eyes glance up at the clock once more. 
You swallow. Start to think maybe this entire foolhardy plan is all for nothing. 
And then you see it. 
Through the crack of glass in the door, the bone-white of the mask. The long, black mouth. The hood. And before you can so much as cry out - Ghostface is ramming into the classroom, his knife raised. 
You scream. 
Principal Garcia’s head jerks around. 
Ghostface’s movements are steady, calculated. He rushes forward and in one easy swing, he slashes his knife towards Principal Garcia and slashes through his raised forearm.
“Sam!” You cry out. 
Ghostface’s head whips around to look at you. Principal Garcia crumbles to the ground, gasping, holding his bloodied arm. 
The cabinets burst open. 
Chad and Liv stumble out. Chad lets out what can only be described as a war-cry and charges forward, taking Ghostface off guard and tackling him to the ground. 
You stand, hands shaky as you reach for the pistol in your backpack. You click the safety off and raise it. Chad has Ghostface pinned down. The knife in his hands clatters to the ground. 
You squint, heart pounding as you try to find the shot. But their bodies are entwined, Chad’s grip on Ghostface lessening slightly as Ghostface juts his head upwards and smacks it into Chad’s. 
Chad cries out. 
Ghostface musters the strength to shake Chad off. 
You fire out a shot. 
But your grip isn’t steady. Your aim all over the place. The bullet whizzes past Ghostface and lodges itself into the blackboard. 
Ghostface reaches for his knife and stands. He’s tall, menacing. He steps closer. 
“Sam!” You cry out. 
The mask tilts. The knife in his hands gleaming. He takes another step closer, confident. Like he knows you’ll miss again. 
“Don’t come any closer, asshole.” Liv says. You feel her behind you, at your shoulder, “Shoot him, YN!” 
You fire again. 
And miss. 
All those practices with your Dad. All those bottles you’d blown clean open have nothing on the real thing. The adrenaline is too much. The fear of him is too much. 
“Where’s your girlfriend, YN?” He taunts. He flashes the knife, stepping closer once more. Another step and he’d be close enough to disarm you. You stumble back, gun in your hand shaking madly. 
“Guess she’s finally getting what she deserves,” He says, “And now I’m going to give you what you deserve.” 
The classroom door rams open once again. 
It draws both of your attention. It’s Sam, Mindy at her side. Her shotgun is drawn, her eyes blazing. 
“Back up asshole,” Sam says, voice even. Her hand isn’t shaking, she’s calm. Steady. You know she won’t miss. 
“Take off that mask and I won’t blow you bit from bit,” She says. She moves a little closer. 
If Ghostface knows he’s cornered, he doesn’t act like it. He turns from you like you’re not a threat, looks over to Sam and tuts at her. 
“Sam, Sam, Sam.” Ghostface says, “So protective. Such a good sister. I wonder if you’d still protect her if you knew. If you knew what sweet baby-Tara did in her spare time.” 
Sam cocks the gun. 
“Last chance,” She growls, “I won’t ask again.”
The adrenaline in your body evens out. Your heartbeat slows, the determination in your eyes settles. You steady your hands, knowing what you have to do. 
Sam wants him alive. Sam wants him to see justice. 
But if he’s alive, he can talk. 
If he’s alive he’ll tell everyone what Tara’s done. And you can’t have that. 
You lift your gun, only slightly. You close one eye, the way your Dad had taught you. 
You feel ethereal. Out of body. This is what Tara must feel like when she does it. Vision tunneled, like there’s only one thing in the world you want to do. 
And then you shoot a bullet right into Ghostface’s chest. 
Liv screams. 
The sound of the gun firing leaves your ears ringing. 
Sam blinks, startled, as Ghostface stumbles back, clutching the bloodied hole in his chest. 
He crumples to the ground, right next to Principal Garcia, gasping. 
You charge forward, kicking the knife out of his hands. 
There’s only one thing on your mind. You have to know who it is. You have to see his face before you blow it clean off. 
You lean down and rip the mask off the fuckers face. 
Liv gasps. Chad gawps. 
Sam’s grip on the shotgun wavers. 
You blink down in surprise. 
It’s Richie.
His eyes are wild, hazy. Blood pours thick and fast out of the bullet wound in his chest. The look in his eyes is terrifying. Pure hatred, hatred of you. Hatred of Tara. His mouth opens like he wants to speak, but he’s too injured. He’s moments from death, you can see it in his face.
Sam almost drops her gun. She sinks back, caught only by Mindy who steadies her shoulders. 
You swallow, mind racing. 
All those nights with him, the games with him. He’d slept only doors down from you and Tara. Tara had been so insistent it was him and you hadn’t listened. Because it didn’t make sense. 
Why?
He’s dead before he can give you an answer. 
“Holy shit.” Chad murmurs. His hands grip Liv’s shoulders. He looks to you, wide-eyed, “Are you alright?”
There’s a frog in your throat. You clear it once, twice, unable to take your eyes off the man who had tormented you for the past few weeks. 
“He didn’t get me.” You say. You suddenly remember Principal Garcia and look over to him. He’s clutching his arm, eyes as wide as everyone else's, but other than the gash, he looks okay. 
“Sam,” You murmur, looking over to her. 
Her face is white, no doubt her entire world crumbling around her. 
“Sam, are you okay? We need to call the police.” 
“They’re on their way,” Mindy says, rubbing Sam’s back, “I called them preemptively. Thought we might need them.” 
You place your gun on one of the desks, move over to where Sam is sitting. You crouch down, rest your hands on the tops of Sam’s thighs.
“Sam,” You say, “It’s over. It’s going to be okay. This is going to save Tara.” 
Sam blinks back at you but she’s barely there. She looks as though she might pass out. 
“Sam,” You promise, “It’s over.” 
-
The police arrive not five minutes later. 
The Sheriff blazes through the halls, stares wide-eyed at Richie’s dead body, Ghostface mask clattered next to him. 
They take your statements, one by one. 
Mindy tells them in great detail about the plan to capture him. Principal Garcia is rushed off to hospital to treat his arm. Sam sits quietly, not uttering a word until she’s spoken to. 
“My sister-” She says, voice hoarse. She’s blinking, slow, “You’re going to let her go now?”
The Sheriff pauses. 
“It’s not that simple, Sam,” She says, “We have witnesses- she was the last person to see my son alive-”
“That doesn’t mean shit,” Snaps Sam. She gestures to Richie’s body, “We’ve given you him. Clear as day. He framed my sister and you need to let her go.” 
Sheriff Hicks considers this. 
She looks over at Richie’s body, a little mournful, “If you’d kept him alive we could have interrogated him and cleared Tara’s name for good-” 
“It was self-defense.” Liv says, immediately, “He came at YN and the only way she could protect herself was by killing him. Right guys?” 
Mindy and Chad nod in unison. 
Sheriff Hicks stares at you. 
“Why would he kill my son?” She asks, and it’s urgent. Her eyes flitter, a mesh of grief and sorrow and confusion, “He didn’t even know him. Why would he kill him?”
“I don’t know.” You say. You swallow, “I’m sorry, Sheriff Hicks.” 
She stares back at you a moment. 
Then she’s nodding, blinking away the array of emotions she’d briefly allowed you to see. 
“That’s for me to figure out,” She says. She looks over at Sam, “We’ll release Tara. But Sam - that doesn’t mean she still isn’t a suspect. If we find any link between them-”
“There’s no link.” Sam says, “My sister is innocent.” 
The Sheriff nods. 
“I’ll call the station.” 
She moves over to speak to another officer. The relief on Sam’s face is palpable. You squeeze her thigh, mirror her relief with yours. 
Tara’s coming home. You’d given the police what they wanted - a suspect to pin the murders on. She’d come home and you’d kiss her and hold her and never let her go again. Your veins flood with dopamine, the nicest high you could possibly imagine. 
Tara’s safe. 
But Mindy's frowning. You move over to her, frowning a little. 
“What is it?” You ask. 
Mindy turns to you, the look in her eyes urgent. 
“Richie was there that night,” She says, “The night Tara was attacked. He was there with you and he wasn’t Ghostface. Not that night.” 
You blink. 
Mindy seizes your arm. 
“There’s two, YN,” She says, “There’s fucking two of them.” 
And your blood runs cold. 
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yaoyaobae · 7 months
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Don’t know if anyone else has asked this but: How did you get so good at art??? Like, did you go to an art school, taught yourself or something? If you did, how did you start out? Did something make you feel bad about your art? Any tips for beginners or artists who feel like they’re not progressing?
I’m mostly self-taught, graduated from art school this year but to be honest it only exposed me to more art-related softwares and careers. It’s crucial to practise art during your free time as much as possible if you want to get better 😭🙏🏻
I started art because I liked drawing my delusions and telling stories HAHA as for tips:
-Don’t stress over art style, start now and keep drawing it will come naturally TRUST.
-You don’t need to draw everyday, take breaks and avoid hurting your wrist
-DRAW FOR YOURSELF ( VERY IMPORTANT) ✨
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gnnosis · 10 months
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i have a theory about the bear & carmy’s artistic talent and no one else (that ive seen!) seems to be talking abt this. gotta get it out there so if it happens i can say i predicted it
carmy is going to leave the restaurant industry. we see time and time again that carmy is not happy in the industry, and maybe never has been. he’s traumatized by the fancy restaurant he worked at. he wanted to work at the beef, but only to be with mikey. he took over the beef because he (felt he) owed it to michael — and because he had the skills — not out of some great love of cooking. he only got to his level of skill out of a self-professed “fuck you” to mikey! carmy’s not happy. “this shit’s not fun for me,” he says to richie. make no mistake — he’s really, really good at it. but he’s not happy. the industry brings out the worst version of him, every single time. the stress of the kitchen turns him into the bear from the 1x01 opening, into his mother.
contrast this with syd and richie, tina, even marcus. even under stress, even with everyone yelling at each other, the kitchen brings out the best in them. they’ve improved their skill levels because they feel they owe it to themselves. richie thrives under the pressure of being a concierge, he’s a new man, he wears suits now. tina is a transformed person because she’s begun to believe in herself (and knows others believe in her). marcus (although thwarted by his own hyper-focus sometimes) delights in the craft of being a pâtissier, creates spectacular, thoughtful dishes — he flourishes.
and sydney. sydney, under stress, opening night, is throwing up in the bushes, like we know carmy did in a job that was Bad for him. but it’s not the stress of the job per se that’s getting to syd, but the pressure she’s put on herself to do well enough that her dad will see the bear as she sees it — her very own place in the industry she loves above all else, a place to practice her beloved craft, to take care of people, to pour everything she has into this one thing. it’s not the job making her physically sick, like it did carmy, it’s the pressure of showing how much she loves the job, of her dad thinking she’s doing well enough to deserve to love and devote herself to it as much as she is. and in the kitchen, under pressure, with carmy locked in the fridge, syd doesn’t panic, doesn’t yell and scream — not really. she collaborates with richie, delegates as necessary, steps up — and leads. she shines.
carmy as a chef is doing what he’s good at, performing the skills he’s cultivated. it might be the only thing he feels he’s good at. it’s all he’s ever really known. but it’s not healthy. it’s killing him. it’s ruining his relationships with everyone important to him. he needs to get out.
i predict that sydney and richie will take over the bear. probably with nat’s help behind the scenes. they love it. it gives them purpose. it makes them thrive.
and carmy… will go to visual arts school. (or simply become an artist. do people still do art school these days? if so… like… he could do worse than SAIC)
i don’t think the show has been dropping all these references to carmy’s artistic talent for no reason. the pants he designed (thom browne’s!), the drawings of claire they mention and then flash during his panic attack, the speculative drawing of the bear he gifts michael in 2x06, and the menu drawings that sydney gushes over. the painting he hates that’s hung in the restaurant? could you do a better one, carm?? in the future, will that get replaced with one of yours, carm??? his artistic talent is lingered on too much to not be indicating something about what carmy really loves. a talent he innately has but doesn’t seem to realize the depth of. what he’d spend his time doing absently before he got caught up in the rat race of the restaurant industry. he talks about art like it’s something he’s compelled to do, like it’s something he loses himself in. a flow state.
carmy can flourish too. it’s just that he’s going to need to go somewhere else to do it.
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gemapples · 6 months
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im so sorry it took me so long to answer these oml but YES i'd be happy to show how i draw and color :)
— SKETCHING
please note that i almost always sketch traditionally first lol it's just a lot easier for me to determine how the drawing is placed that way, but i always go over and re-sketch it digitally
for magolor i always start with a basic egg shape (lmao) and then i add his ears. then I draw the scarf; it's easy to determine the shape and dynamicism based on where the bottoms of the ears are located
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then i usually add the cape and hood together. where and how these are placed and what these look like in general are very important because they're the main area that perspective is directed to (the ears and everything else is important too ofc!! but the hood and cape usually help demonstrate where he is looking and how he is moving the most). then i add everything else, usually his hands last!
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— LINEART
ohhhhhh god my worst enemy. Hope youre sitting down because this will be embarrassing LMAO
lineart is easily what i struggle with most and is more often than not the most time consuming and grating step for me. If i had a choice i would drop it in a heartbeat, but my style is so dependent on thick lines and shapes that it's difficult to 😭 a hole i dug myself into unfortunately ITS FINE THOUGH. ANYWAYS I'm getting sidetracked
i use my finger to draw all my digital art, which means i usually have to use a Heavy stabilizer to avoid shakiness and staggered lines. Unfortunately ibis paint's stabilizer is actually dog water and doesn't even stabilize more than half the time (in which case i have to repeat lines over. And over. And over again until i get it right) but when it does like me and works properly it's very helpful!
i always use the soft school pen bleed brush as my main tool for lineart. This brush has been my best friend for everything, i even use it for sketching idk it just really like the way it looks lol. sometimes i change the aspect if i want the lines to look more ,, chalky?? or smoother depending on the work
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i don't really use this tool much but for this specific piece, force fade was my partner in crime
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also i think i need to mention that i use so many layers for this. So many layers lol like to the point it's embarrassing. and at the end i merge most of them (except for the gear patterns, rings on his ear, and eyes + hands, which usually need to be by themselves as they're colored separately) Thank you for layers
and i end up with this!
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— COLORING && SHADING
yippee yahoo the fun part !!! the part that i love the most
at this point, if i havent already, i always create a folder for convenience in organization because this is the part that i stress the most about what details are on which layers lmao
then i add ANOTHER layer below that for the color, then i put every single color used on their own separate layer!
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now, for shading, if im working on larger pieces with more complex shading, i'll usually plan it all out. normally when just drawing magolor, i don't really need to do this anymore because i'm so used to it lol, but for funsies i did it here anyways
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then i use the bucket tool to fill them all in
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i usually have a set color palette for all the characters i draw (though the way i shade white differs. A lot between my work as you can probably tell fhdfgf). For every color, i have two specific tones that are associated with the shading. for example, indigo + violet are shaded with my blue, pink + light orange (or lighter pink depending on my mood lol) are shaded with yellow, etc.
so, i shade the other areas with the 2nd shading color
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a big tip i can give for coloring is to look at a color wheel when you draw. i know that sounds like. Such basic advice LMAO but that seriously was a huge help for me when developing my shading and something i learned while studying — if you notice, in all of the shading in my work, all of the colors used are analogous on the color wheel. note that not ALL combinations will work together like others obv !! but it's a huge step in knowing where to go with it
then i add other extra details like extra lighting, halftones (if i feel like it // if it fits the work), glow to his eyes, and color the lines and ta-da!
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another tool i use a lot especially with my more recent art are blending modes, especially multiply. i use a clipping layer to add a dark color (usually a dark blue or purple) and set it to multiply, then erase the areas that emit light
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and this is the end result! this is a very very basic demonstration of it fhdjg i was a pretty messy with the lighting and erasing in this example but you get the general idea right
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and that's how i draw :) i hope this was helpful, and thanks for asking and being so patient with the response!
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