#recently have been doing pretty bad mentally - have been at my worst ever low but have alsi had some highs | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

kolkaslove · 5 months

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School's been wild.

First had people from my grade spreading actually insane rumors about me, the ones I know of are

I collect blood and tears (how lmao 😭😭😭😭)

I bring a knife to school (it is a paper craft knife that literally snaps when I try to cut card)

And I asked someone for a lighter in Math (I asked if SHE was the one who brought a lighter into school a few weeks ago 😭😭😭😭)

Oh also apparently people from the main class(green) that was spreading all that weird shit about me are 'afraid' of me???? Like bffr if you're afraid you wouldn't say that shit you see me as just someone who's an easy target to spread gossip about and bully just because I'm different to you and hang out with people from different grades because so many of the people in my grade are actually awful 💀💀💀💀.

Then when he had a 'friendship workshop' got real fucking upset because was (mobbed???? Surrounded????) By bunch of people from Melly's class and shit just beforehand and was forced to work in groups with people from my class. Right after was told off for wearing eyeliner and was threatened with either in school isolation/exclusion or being sent home immediately (note that the isolation/exclusion is the same punishment for vaping in the school bathrooms or having a fight). Then when was sent to my school's (councilling???? I don't think that's the right term but it's close enough can explain more in detail in another post) office the "pink lady" tried to force me to talk when visibly upset and shit, then told me off for "aggressive tone"/"raising my voice at her" when I was literally just trying to speak louder. After that broke down and started crying real heavy and shit and she just did not care.

YOURE MEANT TO BE A FUCKING SUPPORT OFFICER OR WHATEVER STUPID FANCY NAME THEY GAVE YOU WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU SO HORRIBLE

She tried to force me to speak and then tried to force me to go back to the workshop/hall right after I told her being there stressed me out and like???? Do you just not care???? Am I too much of an issue for you???? I hope I'm the worst fucking headache you've ever had to deal with you selfish self serving bitch.

Anyways after what she pulled obviously didn't work and ,as I told her I would, I ended up causing somewhat of a scene since I was crying so heavily for at least 10minutes , wouldn't stop and had people turning around to gawk at me was sent to the "calm room" by my teacher. Was so fucking pissed off. Cried for two hours straight until lunch, whenever I heard the footsteps of who I even thought was "pink lady" would start crying heavy again.

Hate her.

More recently have been targeted for????? I'm not really sure. Basically a racist, transphobic,homophobic fatshaming dude wants pictures of me because some random girl in my Math class called me "clapped" 💀💀💀💀.

Also those people kept calling me "it" to dehumanise me and are the worst people I've encountered so far????? Like they've don't more to me but they're actually so wild 💀💀💀💀

Like wtf do you mean the gal who apologised for being homophobic to me and dehumanising is friends with the fucking racist and says "yea it is" reffering to me when asked if I was clapped a literal day after she apologises to me BY PROXY through a friend of mine.

LIKE WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK (⁠´⁠°̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥⁠ω⁠°̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥⁠｀⁠)(⁠´⁠°̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥⁠ω⁠°̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥⁠｀⁠)(⁠´⁠°̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥⁠ω⁠°̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥⁠｀⁠)(⁠´⁠°̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥⁠ω⁠°̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥⁠｀⁠)

Anyways with the bitch that wanted to take pics of me whilst I'm unaware I'm making sure to sign her up to a bunch of spam websites and shit just to bother her, gonna make sure to put nsfw ones too so she gets in a fuck ton of trouble.

If I report it I doubt anything would be done tbh. After all of the shit that's happened recently I really doubt my school would do anything about it so I might as well take it into my own hands.

#recently have been doing pretty bad mentally - have been at my worst ever low but have alsi had some highs #probably there is an issue that veing medicated would help with but doubt parents would care. if spoke to them about it would be told they-#-they know my mind better than me(no clue how that makes sense but go off) and also that my head is being filled with stupid ideas and---#- that medication would not be a fix all ; but would help me pick up the pieces and get better #i mean they would say “oh but you seem fine” when just the night before cried so much almost threw up and was writing a suicide note #it is painful #maybe will make a post tommorow explaining more in depth. am tired of this all #life stuff #thoughts #school #drama

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diagonal-queen · 1 year

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Hellooo, Do you write for Mushitarou? If you do Can I request Him to get drunk (at first Mushitaro and Y/n status are just friends.)

Mushitaro feeling low and sad? He's just sad about his friend's death but at the same time would never speak out about what he had done to Yoko. He vents pretty faintly to Y/n and y/n would still try to comfort him no matter what? But Then, in some way it turns out into some hot make-out session, please?

[I hope this isn't confusing </3]

i do indeed write for the astrology babygirl!

Secret Secret

♡ pairing: Mushitarou Oguri x gn!Reader

♡ synopsis: Noticing that your friend's mood had shifted recently, you decide to ask him about it while the two of you are out drinking. Things go in a...certain direction.

♡ wc: 1.2k

♡ cw: Consumption of alcohol, Mushitarou and reader get a little drunk, and they also make out, Mushitarou is struggling mentally after killing Yokomizo (spoilers, whoops), mentions of intrusive thoughts.

note: I'm really hoping that this is what you asked for and I didn't totally misunderstand the request...if I did, I'm sorry anon T-T Apologies for errors and I hope you enjoy x

Mushitarou had been acting differently recently. You'd noticed it almost immediately, but you hadn't said anything about it because you got the notion that you wouldn't get anything out of him anyway. It was at its worst when it was a new issue; he was slowly getting better, or so you'd assumed.

You'd come to learn that Mushitarou's new attitude ran deeper than you'd assumed when you brought alcohol into the mix.

Mushitarou was unusually quiet after a few drinks. You had both gone out drinking together a few times in the past, but those times were often lighthearted and fun. Alas, you could cut the current tension in the bar with a knife.

"Hey, Mushitarou?" You finally decided to ask him, breaking the silence. He cast his yellow eyes towards you.

"Yes?"

"What's got you all sad and stuff? You always seem, like, really melancholy. Well, not always, but I feel like when you think I'm not paying attention to you you behave that way. And I've been noticing it for a while, but I thought it'd pass, but it hasn't. And I'm worried."

It all came out at once, which wasn't exactly how you'd intended to bring up the topic, but you guessed it could have been worse. Mushitarou was the type of person who could keep up with things, anyway.

"...ah, I suppose I should..." he began, after a moment of silence. You waited for him to continue. "Or- no. I shouldn't."

"Shouldn't what?"

"Tell you about- no. Alright..." he muttered, seemingly more to himself than you. Mushitarou was rarely so incoherent. On the contrary, you knew him to be rather eloquent. Safe to say, you were a little confused.

"No pressure," you quickly decided to interject before he could say anything more. "It's fine."

"...things are different now, in my life," he explained. "I've...done things I regret, and I've associated with people I...I've lost others, too, and it's just...I've been affected by it all more than I thought I'd have been."

You were smart enough to know that he was skirting around the issue, being annoyingly vague about it. You wondered why he didn't want to tell you what was wrong. Did he think that you wouldn't be able to understand? That telling you wouldn't help anyway?

"...you're a strange one, Mushi," you sighed, playing with your glass. "I don't really get you most of the time."

"I suppose there isn't much of a point in trying, is there?" He murmured. You turned to him.

"That doesn't mean I don't like spending time with you, though," you hastily clarified. "I care about you still."

"I know...I know you do. And I don't want to hurt you." You turned to him with a frown.

"Why would you ever do that?"

"Do you think I'm a bad person, Y/N?" He then asked, ignoring your question. You tilted your head at him.

"Why would I think that? Of course not," you answered. "You're my friend. We wouldn't be friends if I thought you were a bad person."

"...right. I just..." Mushitarou trailed off, before taking another drink. You watched him do this, your gaze clearly concerned. He didn't seem to want to look at you.

"Have you been having intrusive thoughts, or something?" You asked, quietly.

"Hm?"

"We all have them, y'know. It doesn't make you a bad person, as long as you don't act on them and hurt people."

"That's not it..." he told you, his eyebrows furrowing almost as if he were flinching. "I mean, of course I've had intrusive thoughts before, but that's not relevant to my matter. This is...much more serious."

"Serious? Are you in danger, or something?" You quizzed, worriedly.

"No, nothing like that," he said, though you couldn't tell if he was being truthful.

"Are you sure?"

"...I shouldn't be telling you this," he sighed, burying one half of his face in his hand. "I don't want you to think differently of me."

"I don't think differently of you, Mushi," you reassured him, placing a hand on his shoulder. "You can tell me anything, you know that."

"...you're much too kind to people, Y/N," he told you softly, fighting back a solemn smile. "You'd hate me if I told you the truth."

"No! I wouldn't hate you, ever," you insisted earnestly. "I'd never hate you, Mushitarou. Don't say that."

Your sincerity prompted a quiet chuckle from Mushitarou.

"You're so precious, Y/N. I could never hate you either," he closed his eyes and let out a long exhale. "...I don't want to lose you."

"You're not losing me, Mushitarou," you said, hardly noticing the way your hand slowly travelled from Mushitarou's shoulder to his cheek. "Whatever you've got going on, we can handle it together. I promise."

"...you promise?" He repeated as he leaned in, as if he hadn't heard you properly. You nodded, your faces growing closer and closer.

"I promise," you said, glancing at his lips. Mushitarou seemed to be sharing your blooming desire, though he appeared to be waiting for you to take initiative. "Mushi..." you cut yourself off by locking your lips with his.

Though you'd never considered kissing Mushitarou prior to tonight you wondered why you hadn't done so sooner- it was as if his lips were made for yours. They were warm and soft, and rather gentle against yours, as if he were somewhat apprehensive.

When you pulled apart for air, Mushitarou blinked, his expression suddenly incredulous.

"Y/N...you...?"

"...yeah," you breathed with a smile, kissing him again. This time, your hand snaked around the back of his neck, his travelling to your chin to tilt your head so he could better capture your lips. His hand was cold and the sudden contact caused you to gasp against his mouth, which quickly curled into a smirk.

"Shut up..." you murmured, bashfully.

"I didn't say anything," he replied, pecking your lips once more before you could respond.

Neither of you were quite aware of the depth of your actions, due to a combination of slight drunkenness and being so lost in the taste of each other. Admittedly, if the two of you had stopped to think about it, you probably wouldn't have really cared anyway.

"By the way, I..." Mushitarou trailed off, before clearing his throat. "I like you, too."

You stared at him for a moment, awestruck, before letting out a giggle. "...that's good to know. This would all be pretty awkward if you didn't."

"I do trust you," he continued, brushing a loose lock of hair from your face. "I just...things are complicated at the moment. Not with you, of course, but-"

"Mushi." You interrupted, firmly. "I understand. I'm not upset, or anything. You can tell me about it when you're ready, alright?"

"...yes, alright," he nodded, before pulling you into an embrace. You rubbed his back as you buried your face into the crook of his neck. "Thank you."

"Mhm..." you hummed, before you raised your head and pressed your lips to the corner of Mushitarou's mouth. "Hey, uhm..."

"Yes?" He asked, pulling away to meet your eyes. You bit your swollen lip, suddenly nervous.

"Do you wanna...continue this at my place?" Mushitarou's eyes widened slightly, before a relaxed smile appeared on his face.

"...it'd be my pleasure," he answered, offering his hand to you. "Shall we, then?"

in my long and illustrious life i have kissed one (1) persons and i'm sure they regret it every day. so yeah, i'm pretty garbage at writing kiss scenes. sry (ノ_<、)

#bsd #bungo stray dogs #bungou stray dogs #x reader #bsd x reader #bungo stray dogs x reader #bungou stray dogs x reader #fanfic #fanfiction #bsd fanfic #bsd fanfiction #bungo stray dogs fanfiction #bsd mushitarou #mushitarou oguri #mushitarou x reader #mushitarou oguri x reader

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furiousgoldfish · 1 year

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I have a question: So like uh... how can you be sure if you are traumatized? My mind keeps swapping between thinking I'm traumatized and thinking I just had a slightly weird childhood and I'm simply over-reacting like I always do. Also second question that is more optional and you might not know: If your parents are unable to save you from an unfortunate circumstance like say... a sister that is violent loud and angry to both you and the parents.... and you often were in distress from say... a sister that would scream hit and punch and took all the parent attention to them and left you alone and hiding in your room... then could that lead to you growing up with the same effect of neglect? I'm guessing you would want a more clear picture of what happened to answer either one of these question so here it is: My sister was and is (but way more stable) mentally ill. I spent most of my years in elementary from 2nd and up living in a house with somebody who can harass, mock, and sometimes hurt me at any moment. She did mostly calm stuff like only say "retard" to me for a stretch of time that feels infinite because I was autistic, and almost punch me but stop and make fun of me getting scared. Very rarely she would go above and beyond by trying to drown me over a dipute and locking me in her room and refusing to let me out because I couldn't fix her computer. I adapted though, I pretty much avoided my sister as much as I can until recently when she calmed down. One thing I could never escape though was the yelling, the screaming, the crying. Every time my sister would have a mental breakdown, which was a whole, whole, whole lot, she was loud and sometimes violent about it. I was hardly ever in the middle of it, I usually just hid in my room while being forced to hear my sister's screams and my parents trying to get her to stop with as little force as possible. It's hard to describe the emotions, and I can try all I want to make you understand what this was like but I won't ever succeed so I'll stop. My sister also tried to kill herself a lot and been in and out of the mental hospital a whole lot so there is that too. Also my parents were amazing, don't worry. The worst thing about my parents is that my dad is a bit emotional but he usually didn't engage with my sister when he could get angry so it hardly came up in a bad way but he did escalate a lot of situations. My Mom was understanding and calm and didn't really fight back against my sister but like... in a good way, it's hard to describe without you knowing my sister. Sorry for the slop of words, I was thinking about like 2 other things at once while typing this and I don't have the energy to correct anything.

You can be sure you're traumatized if you have trauma symptoms. Trauma symptoms can range from feeling low self worth, fear and anxiety around people or specific circumstances and events, struggling with feeling normal around people, struggling with thoughts of self doubt, self hate, severe guilt and shame for everything that was done to you, or what happened, to the more recognizable ones: flashbacks, nightmares, emotional flashbacks, panic and anxiety attacks, losing control over emotions, not being able to regulate emotions at all, feeling unstable, desperate and terrified of the past and feeling low feelings or even complete despair about the future. It's also visible in struggling to have close relationships, feeling like you have to keep secrets, like nobody would love you if they truly knew you, feeling uncomfortable with people being near you or touching you (non-threateningly), running into isolation to keep yourself safe, or finding safety in substances, obsessions, addictions. Trauma can also manifest in development of disorders like eating disorders, anxiety disorder, panic disorder, ocd, depression. There's a lot of more subtle symptoms, you can check this list to see if any of this applies to you: Link.

It's often that traumatized people feel like they might be over-reacting, which is caused by the low self worth mentioned above; people who have normal self worth and are not self-conscious about how their emotions might inconvenience others, thus they don't stop to think if they're over-reacting, and take their feelings at face value. If a feeling is there, it's there for a reason, and the reason is unlikely to be something you made up. Sometimes what people will see as over-reacting is simply reacting to a trigger; even if you feel like your reaction was exaggerated, it's because something in your brain reacted to prior trauma and felt the need to evoke strong reaction so you would protect yourself against this event repeating, as it traumatized you in the past.

For example, if someone reacts with terror to a dog, we'd call it an over-reaction, but if you then find out they were bitten as a child and almost died, then terror is completely appropriate. It's like that with emotional trauma too, if something damaged you so badly as a kid you felt like you would never recover, your brain will react with terror or very strong emotions, to make sure you stay away and keep yourself protected. So it's really just a logical reaction, if you consider the past event and what it did to your life.

The circumstances you lived in as a child definitely warrant a lot of trauma. You describe your sister's presence as an 'unfortunate circumstance', but I don't see even one hint that your parents put actual effort in protecting you. Two adults are absolutely able to pay attention to more than one child at the time, and it sounds like you got completely neglected, and left to make your own conclusions to why that is. And you decided that parents cannot be at fault, because they couldn't do any better. I believe they could, because no child has deserved to be ignored and left to endure insults, slurs, screaming, yelling, punching, mocking, harassment and hurt at any moment, without any protection or care. Your parents were responsible for protecting you, and caring for you at any moment that you might have gotten hurt. It doesn't matter if they had 'a lot on their plate', because you are a human being they were responsible for protecting, and they failed you.

I can think of many things that could have been done differently to protect you, your sister could have been put in a place where she couldn't reach you, you could have been in a presence of a parent or a caretaker at all times to make sure nobody can hurt you, you could have been put in someone else's care as soon as it was obvious that your sister was hurting you, you could have been asked about it and comforted and a different solution could have been reached in order to make sure you live your childhood protected from all this.

Having one child that is a lot to manage does not mean you can now ignore all your other children and leave them to be hurt consistently because 'you cannot be bothered to pay attention to all of your kids' Also it sounds like instead of handling the child that was causing violence, they were escalating the situation and making it worse for you. Leaving one child to lash out at another is unacceptable, and it is both neglect and abuse. Protection from abuse is a part of what your parents are responsible for, and they failed you. And I can see you care so much for their good image, you're protecting them even as you're trying to talk about how they left you to fend for yourself in a world where you were harmed. Imagine if they felt that kind of compassion for you, and ran to protect you whenever you were alone with someone who was hurting you. You're showing more care for them in here, than they did for you in your childhood.

This had to be really hard for you to read, and I'm sorry for being so blunt. I'm not trying to tell you how you should see them, I'm just angry that you were put thru so much, and it didn't have to be like that. You know your situation better than I do, and if I'm completely wrong about everything, that's completely possible and you do not have to accept my opinion, your own is more important. I hope you're never left to fend for yourself in a world where others are likely to hurt you, that's not okay for a child to go thru, and it's painful and traumatic to an adult as well.

#abusive siblings #child abuse #abusive parents #sibling abuse #neglect #child neglect #failure to protect child from abuse #traumatic childhood #ask #furiousgoldfish

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fan-of-chaos · 1 year

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Recently, I’ve been getting back into my Kuroko no Basket obsession and it made me think about the Teiko arc again.

I just have so many opinions about the shitty environment the GoM were in in Teiko and how badly it affected all of them.

The Teiko arc always makes me so sad. The way that GoM’s were failed by pretty much every single adult around them ever since they started to grow stronger was so tragic to see. Teiko school and everybody else in the middle school basketball community put so much pressure on those kids, that its really no surprise that it messed them up so bad. EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM GOT SOME SORT OF TRAUMA FROM TEIKO I SWEAR THAT SCHOOL IS SO TOXIC.

The way all of them were pushed so far past their breaking point and everyone around them just ignored the situation and refused to do anything to help them correct their bad habits. On the contrary, coach and director created a team structure in which those bad habits would only get worse and more serious. And even when it became clearly noticeable how badly GoM’s were getting and how very negatively it affected mental health of both GoM's AND everyone else who played basketball against them, the adults around them STILL refused to do anything about it.

One thing that I don't think many people noticed was how awfully isolated the GoM must have been during their Teiko years from the rest of their peers. Those 6 were left alone in their own little bubble of misery for so long in their second and third years its no surprise their social skills are on such a low level. Even their own teammates kept distance from them and everyone else called them monsters and freaks or all the other, not very nice things. They were basically ostracized by whole community of people. Or, by everyone else who didn't do that, put on a very high pedestal. Like those media people in their third year, who talked about how they have an aura of professionals. From what we know nobody even TRIED to do anything about their situation since Shirogane had to quit. They were basically on their own, with whole lot of people either resenting them or idolizing them. Very bad environment for children who are in the crucial years of their character development.

Every single time nobody did anything when GoM's crossed the line, GoM’s crossed the next one and when nobody said anything again, they crossed one after that and so on and so on. They got colder and crueler, like children in their age tend to do when they are left with basically zero support system and no guidance from adults. Especially since there was nobody who even TRIED telling them "No, stop. What you’re doing is wrong."

Teiko exploited the shit out of all of them and it left them so jaded and lacking trust towards others when they left that place. It changed them in very negative ways and it shows in the every interaction they have with other people their age, especially right after their graduation. How different from normal teenagers they act, how "quirky" they are. How many times they just ignore societal norms in various ways. They all changed from the curious, relatively happy and well adjusted children they’ve been at the beginning of their first year to people who have no faith in others who have a little below average social skills at best, horrible at worst.

Midorima got colder, more distant and focused only on himself. He didn't find teamwork to be anything worth his time because he saw how it turned out with Teiko. He stopped respecting rest of the Go'M's because the way they were acting and it clearly had a impact on how he viewed his Shuutoku teammates at the beginning. He only saw them as accessories to his play and it didn't matter to him how they played, only how he played. Teiko taught him to distance himself from his teammates, to try doing everything alone. He stopped finding basketball fun, it started being just something he was good at.

For Murasakibara, they just nurtured all of his worst habits. Him being lazy, him being uncaring towards the feelings of others, him being so indifferent to how his actions affect other people. His thoughtless cruelty. And I think his social skills got affected the worst from all of the GoM's. He just straight up doesn't have them. He is very impulsive and lacks any regard for the feelings of other people. And Teiko only made all it worse.

Kise changed in subtler ways than others, but he changed still. He got more mean, more arrogant in the condensing way. He was the one who joined the latest and who, in line with his ability, copied and learned the behaviors from others. And what he learned from them is that basically teamwork and bonds with others don't matter, that it was okay to do anything you want, as long as you win. Teiko taught him that there were no consequences if he acts out as long as he is one of the strongest, as long he keeps on winning.

Kuroko didn't get out of there unscratched either. And I’ve got an opinion that Kuroko wasn’t just the victim in this whole scenario. He didn't agree with what GoM were doing, but I would argue that even he was the part of the problem. Because even through it wasn't his fault that others acted that way and it was in no way his responsibility to make others stop or even to help them, it doesn't change the fact that he was too, as the rest of them, responsible for the way they treated other teams. He still played with GoM, even after he saw what they were doing. He didn't quit, he continued playing with them and even though he just did what the rest of them did, he knew it was wrong. He knew it was wrong, but continued to play on the team nevertheless. He was taking part in the games that were just as cruel to other players as that last game was to Ogiwara and from what we'd seen for the most part, he didn't often protest when they did that. And that made him part of the problem too and responsible for the damage to other players too. After Teiko, he closed off his emotions, became even better at masking his own emotions. He became more selfish, more focused on himself, rather than others. Even though he wanted to be a team player and wanted to prove GoM wrong, he still in the beginning wanted to USE others for his goal, even if that use aligned with what Serin wanted.

Akashi was also very much affected by Teiko. He already had a very unhealthy mentality planted in him by his father when he came to Teiko. That victory was everything in life and that he wasn’t allowed to lose in anything. That he had to be the best at all the times. That sort of thinking already put so much pressure on him and then coach added even more of it and made him vice-captain in his first year and a captain in second. He tried keeping the team together, tried doing whatever he could to keep the status quo in the team and that responsibility was what let to his eventual breakdown. They all put too much on Akashi and in the end he couldn’t deal with it all. And since his clear mental breakdown nobody said anything, nobody tried helping him, even though it was crystal clear he wasn’t doing okay and that he was changing and not for the better. They just kept doing nothing even thought he was becoming worse with every week. And from what we see in their third year all of the important team decisions have been left to Akashi. It was further proof of how much the management of Teiko didn’t care about mental health of those kids.

And there was Aomine, who basically developed depression because how badly he was managed by everyone who could have helped him and how badly everyone failed him. He felt so much pain that nobody was willing to help him with and those who were, left him alone with it. So he numbed himself, become jaded and tired, detached himself from feeling anything. Without anybody there to teach him healthy ways of managing his own mental health and pain, he started taking his suffering out on others, started getting unintentionally cruel. The scene in the rain, and his talk with the new coach was heartbreaking. It was like a final nail in the coffin. When somebody that was meant to help him learn and grow told him he should stop trying, that as long as he won nothing else matters... It made his mentality even worse, made his worst fears and negative emotions take a front row seat for the way he acted since then.

Its just. There were SO MANY ways people around could have helped any of them. It didn't even have to be anything much! Especially in case of Aomine, who only wanted something to strive towards.

Hell, if they are so strong, coach should have organized a match against a collage team! It would humble them and show them that there is more to basketball other than middle school matches! But no, he did nothing. Just like the rest of the adults that surrounded them. They silently watched all of them spiral and didn’t say anything.

When I first re-watched knb, all the little ways they acted at the beginning of the series made so much more sense and because of that, they were so much sadder. And as series progresses its so nice to see all of GoM healing from the wounds Teiko left them with. I am so glad that Kuroko, Kise and Midorima and even Murasakibara got so lucky with the teams they choose and that those teams offered them so much support and much needed structure and healthy support systems.

Sadly, Akashi and Aomine didn’t get that lucky. They got teams that only unintentionally furthered the damage done by Teiko. At least after his loss, Aomine now has Kuroko and Kagami to be there for him, both in such different ways, and who give him the support he needs. And after Akashi lost and his original personality took over again, he started trying to re-forge the lost bonds between him and the GoM’s. He started to open himself up to others again.

Really glad they all could somehow heal from what they went through.

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galaxythreads · 2 years

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I've just gotta get this out here because it's been bothering me for a few days now. I recently read a fic about an AU post-endgame where no one died and Loki and Thor were living in New Asgard. Thor had major PTSD though, and like, this was fine because yeah, I can see it. Thanos was brutal to him.

Thor's PTSD and trauma were taken extremely seriously, and I could tell that if the author didn't have PTSD they clearly did research and portrayed it really well. I was honestly impressed. They went beyond generic bad dreams and occasional flashbacks to talking about the OTHER mental health effects of ptsd.

And then.

(tw for discussion of suicidal behavior inside this fic)

Thor hits a really low point where he's convinced he's never going to get better and he plans to kill himself. And Loki finds him before he jumps off of this high tower or cliff (? not exactly clear and I don't want to go back and look) and rather than ANY CONCERN WHATSOEVER, Loki makes a joke that Thor should find somewhere higher to jump from because this one probably wouldn't kill him. and like.

??????????????????? I was utterly baffled.

The author CLEARLY knew about mental health given the care they gave PTSD, but this, an extremely serious low point in the character is reduced to jokes and belittling? I'm not even kidding. The way Loki stops Thor from jumping is by making fun of Thor until he gives up internally. Like. WHAT ON EARTH ARE YOU DOING?

And the author had the GALL to, in the author's notes, explain why they had decided to go about this route because of something along the lines of "Loki has never encountered ptsd before, or suicidal behavior, but I think he handled it pretty good for a first time"

LOKI HAS - ON SCREEN, IN CANON - TRIED TO KILL HIMSELF ONCE, and I WOULD ARGUE TWICE BECAUSE HE COULD HAVE MOVED AWAY FROM THE KURSED IN THE TDW AND CHOSE NOT TO.

BUT NO. HE HAS NO EXPERIENCE WITH THAT. none.

I honestly feel disgusted, and like it is my moral obligation to say something about this.

DO NOT. under ANY CIRCUMSTANCES make fun of someone's method for trying to harm themselves. Ever. Regardless if you catch them in the act or not. If it's been years or not. DO NOT DO THIS.

And if you DO find someone about to harm themselves, DO NOT MAKE FUN OF THEM OR GOAD THEM ON. this is the worst thing you could possibly do. You are no longer a safe place. If someone thinks that their low point is going to be reduced to jokes, they will not come to you. You will have become another source of torment instead of help.

As someone who has been suicidal and has talked several close friends/family out of suicide many many times I promise that the way to approach this is with kindness, compassion, and F-ING SYMPATHY.

If the author of the fic had bothered to address the fact that what Loki did in this was both a) disgusting and b) THE WRONG THING TO DO and HE APOLOGIZED TO THOR i wouldn't have had a problem with it, because like. girl (gender neutral) we've all been there, making a big mess of a situation like this because we didn't know what to say. But this wasn't that. This honestly seemed to be a good, recommended method from the author. Like ah yes, of COURSE the thing to do when someone is hurting is to make fun of their pain. Let's just brutally torment them until they give up and numb out and crawl back to you.

I was honestly so jarred and uncomfortable that I stopped enjoying the fic after that. Bro. BrO. BRO.

If you're going to put something as serious as suicide into your fics, I BEG you to handle it with care.

#I learned later that the author bases all their charaziations after Ragnarok Thor and Loki #I'm not even sure if they've seen thor 1 and thor 2 #and a lot more made sense.#because like #ah #yeah #if i only had ragnarok loki to base loki off of #i might have written him being an a**hole to thor too #but at the same time #this is no excuse #if you can research ptsd #you can research how to HELP someone who's feeling this way #not make them feel worse #tw ptsd #tw suicide #loki #thor #fics

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bagelwithcreamcheeseandham · 9 months

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Advil vs Aleve for period cramps: my experience

Very recently, I've started using naproxen sodium (Aleve) instead of ibuprofen (Advil) for cramps, which I've pretty much been using for the 10 years I've had my period, and I want to talk about it.

Using this pain scale, my avg cramps are a 3-5. My "bad" cramps are 7-8 and spike to a 9.

When I take ibuprofen, it works fast and takes away the cramps almost completely, unless I have "bad" cramps, then it feels like it does nothing and I will still have the level 7-8 pain. I typically take 2 ibuprofen at a time, every 4 hours or as needed. This is sometimes tricky because I have to time it right. If I'm feeling fine at the 4-hour mark and forget to reload on ibuprofen, the cramps will come back with a fury, like I got hit by a bus. I also find that ibuprofen will lighten my (very heavy) flow, I do not get that with Aleve.

With Aleve, I take one every 8 hours, so less opportunity to forget and it lasts longer. It lowers the pain but doesn't seem to completely take it away as ibuprofen does. However, it does seem like it "caps" it off at a level 5*. Since I've been taking the Aleve, I haven't had the mind-bending, full-body sweating, writhing around wishing I was dead, pain (which for me starts at 8). But I have had much longer stretches of time where I am in 2-5 level pain. This is new for me since starting Aleve.

Being in these levels of pain for hours at a time is draining, physically and mentally. Whenever I have bad, 7-9 level cramps, even if it only lasts like two hours or less, the rest of the day is literally a blur, I'm so out of it. And even with the 2-5 level pain, being in that state for hours is exhausting. Hours at a time, multiple times a day where I am sort of unable to focus or do anything but scroll tiktok, and maybe sip some tea. Today and yesterday, I basically spent half the day in bed. I didn't have any pain above level 4, maybe 5, but after so many hours of it, I was just so drained I couldn't do anything else.

All said and done, I do prefer the naproxen sodium (Aleve).

With Aleve, I'm in upper mid-low pain for longer periods of time, but do not have my "bad" cramps. With Ibuprofen, the majority of the time I'm in mid-low or even no pain, but level 7-9 severe pain is always a possibility looming in the background. It's almost like Aleve takes the entirety of my cramps, and spreads it evenly through the week, while Ibuprofen takes my cramps and sprinkles it unevenly, giving me periods of time that I feel fine, and periods of time that I'm in the worst pain I've ever felt in my life.

And I would much rather be compromised for 2 days with mid cramps than ever feel a level 9 cramp again.

*Also worth noting, this is after ~10 years of using ibuprofen and 2 months of using Aleve, so there is the possibility that for the past 2 months, I just haven't had my "bad" cramps. If I remember, I'll come back to this post in a few months and drop an update on how it's going.

#chronically ill #chronic pain #menstruation #menstrual cramps #cramps #period cramps #periods #eds #hypermobility

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nahmanidontwantto · 2 years

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Before we start I want to specify that I am specifically talking about narcissistic traits though these can be and are correlated with other things. Relating to these things does not mean you have NPD and I recommend doing more research if you believe you do have it. (Be aware that many sources can be pretty ableist) (I myself do not have NPD or at least I don't think I do but I am aware of my narcissistic traits)

I have during many times of my life been called a narcissist, self centered, self absorbed, selfish, ect by my mom. Until recently did I realize that it has affected my way of perceiving those who have NPD and narcissistic traits, including myself.

I believe that I do split quite often into "all good" or "all bad", and I mean that in the most literal sense. I am either a good person or a bad person with no in between. Every time I am even a little bit selfish I immediately believe I am the worst person in the world. Therefore I tried to suppress being selfish, wanting the best, having the best, ect. And I hid those things from people I was close to in fear that I'd be a horrible person in their eyes.

I have trouble with low empathy. A lot of trouble. I do try to have compassion for those who are suffering, however, I feel as if I'm more concerned over trying to seem like I care than actually caring. I beat myself up over it. I hate myself for it. Even when my mom says that it's okay if I don't feel bad I'm offended by those words because I'm SUPPOSED to feel bad.

On the other side of the coin, I feel the absolute need to help others or else I have absolutely nothing (in a sense you could say I have somewhat made helping others my personality). I have anxiety attacks when someone is hurting because I have to calculate what to say to them, how to say it to them, figuring out the words to make the right impact, ect. In short, I am more preoccupied with how to say it than actually helping the said person. And maybe that's because when I was younger I never got told the thing to help me so I had conversations with myself, telling myself the exact right things to make me feel better. When I can't help the person, I get angry. I'm the one that's supposed to help them. Why didn't they let me? Why couldn't I help them? I know these things are inherently selfish, but my ego needed something. Anything.

When I got into relationships I don't think I was ever thinking about what the person ever actually wanted. My first relationship was,, toxic to say the least. I needed their undivided attention. I deserved it. I'd get angry when they wouldn't. This had very much changed my entire perception. I needed to be absolutely good to avoid hurting anyone again. It didn't help that during this time my mom was constantly comparing me to them, wishing I was like them. Then I started to wish that too. When it had inevitably burned the person held no ill will towards me. I was confused. Why didn't they hate me? We both did bad things and I couldn't understand why they didn't hate me, ignoring the fact that I still loved them.

In my second relationship, I promised it wouldn't be like the first one. But I still had the same mentality that I couldn't shake off. I wanted their attention. Why were they ever spending time with someone else? Why didn't they see I was exactly what they needed? That I was perfect for them? I hid it this entire time. But I still felt horrible. I still felt like a terrible person despite the fact that I felt like I had no control over these thoughts.

So I disconnected myself. I stopped myself from getting close to anyone, I hated how I acted around them anyways. I disregarded any "selfish urges" I had. I was only supposed to help others. I needed to help others. It's my only purpose. How could I possibly be narcissistic if I was helping others? If I did nothing for myself?

These largely affected how I viewed other people with npd without me realizing it. I had been so indoctrinated into believing that narcissists were bad due to my mother's words towards me. I convinced myself if I was terrible unless I purged every single selfish thing about me. The thoughts did not stop though, I'm kind of glad they didn't. And every time a friend of mine expressed narcissistic traits I thought that I was better than them. I feel like I do associate with people "less than" (especially morally) to make myself feel better about myself. I'd also get angry if I ever saw someone that I thought was morally better than me.

I'm unlearning all of this. I've learned that being narcissistic isn't bad. Having npd and narcissistic traits isn't bad. You're coping. I'm coping. We're trying our best to work with what we've been given. I'm glad I'm learning, and I'm glad I'm open minded. I've hurt people and I'm aware of that, but I shouldn't have to go through excessive self sabotage my entire life to prove to others (especially my parents) that I'm only and utterly human.

#personal talk #tw vent #npd #narcissistic personality disorder #ableism tw #abuse tw #tw ableist language #please let me know if any other tw tags need to be added

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bigwhispersbluebird · 3 years

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BTS reaction when they are jealous (Hyung Line)

Author’s Note: I often read a lot of reaction based fics and realize that perhaps my take on it is a little different. So here it goes. Do tell me if you like it or agree or just anything. Also, I am new to this so excuse me for any mistakes. Thanksss

Warnings: None

Seokjin or Jin

He watched from far as a man in his 20s approached you from behind as you finished the call you had excused yourself to attend. Judging from your reaction, he concluded that you knew the guy. Even though he couldn’t hear a word, your comfortable laugh, the way you slightly hit his shoulder while talking and mimicked his body language, Jin felt a weird irk inside him.

Don’t misunderstand, Kim Seokjin was very confident about himself but there was a part of him that often wondered if he was enough. He might be handsome but there were more handsome people around. He was not the smartest or the most athletic and he came with a load of baggage. So much that he couldn’t cross the room to where you were standing and openly declare that you were his gorgeous and brilliant girlfriend.

His thoughts were intruded by the chime of his phone.

“You okay?”, your text read and he looked up to spot you a few tables away. The young stranger gone now and your eyes only on him.

“No. I am Jin”, he replied in his usual manner, trying to hide the truth, cracking the worst joke ever in the process and wincing at himself as soon as he sent it.

He watched as you laughed unabashedly as soon as you saw the screen, your eyes glistening and he realized that this laugh was just for him.

“You must be really in love with me if you laughed at that”, he sent and watched as you read and suddenly the same look overtook your face that he had seen on himself so many times when he was with you.

He only took his eyes off you when his phone chimed again.

“Of course. Who else would ever compare?”

Yoongi or Suga

This was getting annoying for him. Yoongi would call himself a pretty calm person especially after the ten years of life as an artist had made him immune to almost everything happening around him. But this was getting on his nerves.

You had walked into HYBE tonight and after just being at Genius Lab for a few minutes, you had asked about Do-Yan and went to seek him as soon as Yoongi told you that he must be in PDogg’s studio. Had it been a one time occurrence, Yoongi wouldn’t even have cared enough to think much into it but after this becoming a routine, he was over it.

Do-Yan was a talented young producer who was contracted for TXT’s new album. You were heavily involved in the A&R activities of BigHit Music and were actually the person who had discovered Do-Yan. In your perspective, he could be a great asset and while he was just here on a temporary basis, you wished to persuade him to sign him as a BigHit producer permanently. PDogg had agreed with you and now you both were on the task of convincing him to stay.

Unaware of this all, Yoongi decided to do something about the situation. As he typed the messages to the management team, he knew that this was very petty of him but he was beyond the point of caring right now.

The next time you asked him about Do-Yan, Yoongi did not look up from his computer as he said, “He has been moved”.

“What?”, you were shocked to say the least. “Moved? What do you mean moved?”

“He will be working with Bang PD directly now so he will be in the other building.”

“So, he signed the contract?”

Now Yoongi was getting agitated, “Why do you care so much?”, he had turned his seat around and was now only focusing on you. His tone was still calm but inside he was screaming.

Oblivious to the storm inside him you said, “Why wouldn’t I? He must have else he would not have said yes to that since...”, Yoongi was not even listening anymore.

“He did. I talked to the management myself and got him to say yes”, Yoongi said. His voice low and his back now turned to you. “You can move there as well if you want to see him and care about him so much”.

“You...but you didn’t know”, suddenly all the pieces fell into place in your mind and you scolded yourself mentally for not noticing it yourself.

“Yoongi”, you called out to him softly as you moved closer to his chair. “Jagiya”, you called again as you kneeled beside his chair, taking his hand lightly in yours.

“I just wanted him to join the company so I was spending most of my time on that. I am sorry that I did not clear it to you. I’ll make up for all the lost time now that you’ve got it done”.

Yoongi couldn’t even remember what he was angry about as you placed yourself on his lap, pulling him close to leave a gentle kiss on his lips.

After a while your phone rang and you announced that you had to go for a meeting. As you inched closer to the door, you remembered something and without even turning around you said:

“I can’t believe you got him moved”

You closed the door behind you but not before hearing his low chuckle.

Hoseok or J-Hope or Hobi

“I think Yeonjun and I should perform on something more sexy?”, you said with your eyes fixated on his face waiting for a reaction.

His eyebrows furrowed and then as if thinking about it, he immediately turned to you, nodding, “Yes, I think it will work great with both of your stage personalities”.

You were surprised. This was not the answer that you were expecting. You had hoped that he would get jealous like all those TikTok boyfriends.

But you were not going to be dejected so easily.

“Why don’t you help with the choreography?”, you suggested, a plan already forming in your head.

“Y/N, I would have been offended had you not asked me”, he said as he showed off his gorgeous smile.

After a few days when you three started working on the performance, you tried to make Hobi jealous. You would suggest even more suggestive moves but he would just think about them and excitedly agree to them or politely decline saying how it does not fit with the steps.

He would watch as you danced, concentrated and focused, but unwavering.

After weeks of this charade, you grew tired and when Yeonjun excused himself to leave for a music show you exasperatedly sighed in front of Hobi who was monitoring the recently shot dance practice video of yours.

“I don’t think you even care about me”.

“Huh?!”, Hobi was bewildered. “What?!”

“Yeah, you don’t care if I go throw myself in someone else’s arms”, your voice was loud in the empty dance studio. You lowered it again, “you don’t care”.

“Y/N”, Hobi was now closer to you, looking straight into your eyes. “I care. I care a lot. I care that this performance is amazing because this is a great opportunity for you. I care that your steps show exactly how good of a dancer you are. I care and that is why I would never let anybody else do it instead of me”.

You were surprised. This was not what you were looking for but it was a pleasant difference.

“And I would care if it was not a performance. I would, I do care if anyone even looks at you in the wrong way but I would never take it out on you. I want you to be able to perform without worrying what I would take it as. I want you to be loved by everyone in the audience”.

His arms slowly snaked around your waist and under your sweatshirt, “just not the way that I do”.

Namjoon or RM

Namjoon had watched you the entire night, his eyes refusing to leave your figure as you rushed around the venue making sure everything was perfect.

It was the last concert of the tour and you as the tour manager were adamant on making it memorable and smooth. Double-checking everything, you finally allowed yourself a moment of peace as you saw your boyfriend rehearse his performance for Trivia: Love.

Namjoon locked eyes with you, smiling and rapping his lines as if talking to you. Suddenly, you felt the weight of something on your shoulders and you looked away from the stage realizing that it was your assistant, Alan, who had just covered you with his jacket. You smiled gratefully as he extended a hand holding your coffee.

“You should rest for a while before we meet back for sound check”, he suggested and you looked at your watch to see that he was right. Tonight was going to be hectic and a power nap was definitely needed.

You had not even realized that the stage was now empty and the leader was standing right by your side. His eyes were not on you, but on the man now sitting beside you, glancing at his jacket on your shoulders.

Shrugging the jacket off, you asked, “Are you done? Any issues?”.

Not answering your question, Namjoon kept staring at Alan and you felt bad for the poor guy. You asked again and this time Namjoon’s lips turned into a smile, “None, jagiya”. Jagiya?!

Now you were the one staring daggers at him but he did not waver. Instead, with the same smile plastered on his lips, he took off his jacket and placed it on your shoulders, pulling the zipper closer together as he made his way to where Alan was sitting. Alan immediately got up, excusing himself and vacating the seat that now your boyfriend occupied, his hand reaching across your shoulder to pull you into him.

You resisted.

“ ‘Jagiya’. Really?! Really, Namjoon?”

He just smiled at that, genuinely this time. “Come on, you know I lose all calm when it comes to you”.

“Calm and senses, both”, you murmured as he laughed and pulled you closer and you let him, closing your eyes and resting before work would call you again.

#bts #bts reactions #jin #seokjin #yoongi #suga #namjoon #rm #hoseok #hobi #jhope #bangtan #fluff #jealous #reader #kim namjoon #min yoongi #kim seokjin #jung hoseok

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yespleasetommyshelby · 3 years

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Should've just asked - Oscar "spooky" Diaz Imagine

Requested? Yes - @too-oldtobeafangirl

"Hey mamas, got any plans today?" Spooky asked as his eyes landed on his girlfriend of six months y/n, sitting on the couch with her phone in her hand ignoring whatever show she had put on just minutes ago.

"Uh yeah, I think I do, why? What's up?" She asked, eyes flicking up to him briefly before the ping of her phone drew her back in.

"I was thinking we could Uh, I dunno, go get some food or something later?" He spoke unsurely, frowning as she continued to type as though she'd never heard him.

"Well," she muttered locking her phone and placing it down on the arm of the sofa face down, a detail which failed to escape Oscar's notice. "I've got plans up until 3 then I'm all yours." She winked up at him before yet again her phone became more important.

"Okay, I was think we could-" He had started to say before y/n jumping up from the sofa, phone in hand and smile on her face stopped his words from coming out.

"I gotta go meet Lindsey, but I'll text you later baby." She smiled picking up her bag from the side of the door, swinging it on her shoulder and placing a small kiss on his cheek before opening the front door. "Love you!" She called.

"I love you.." he started before the door slammed shut, preventing her from hearing his words. "Too." He sighed.

Shaking his head he decided to roll a joint and grab a beer, y/n's actions from this morning running through his mind, he's seen all the tricks done before, the secret messages, hushed phone calls, leaving the phone face down so nobody could see what message comes through, or rather who's message. The only thing different is that it's normally Spooky who's hiding something, in previous relationships of course, the thought of someone who isn't y/n doing nothing but churning his stomach, she was the only one who stuck around and dealt with his Santos business without kicking up a fuss.

But now, now he was worried. He knew that she loved him, well, she told him everyday, but how she was acting recently had his mind running a million miles per hour, thinking about her with someone else made him feel sick, physically and mentally sick. Sighing to himself he threw his joint into the ashtray and made his way to his car, if she thinks she can go around with whatever man she wants then she clearly didn't know Oscar as well as she thought she did.

Meanwhile at the mall y/n and Sad eyes were having a great time, both unaware of the storm that was currently brewing in Oscar, well, he was far closer to being Spooky than Oscar at this moment in time. The two friends were laughing with arms full of bags as they made their way towards the food court, lost in a world of their own they never heard y/n's phone ringing.

Oscar stood round the corner from the food court, watching as sad eyes and his girl walked towards the taco stand with smiles on their faces, her cheeks glowing red slightly as she laughed at something sad eyes had said. Even now when the worst thoughts were going through his head he couldn't deny how beautiful she looked, her hair shining in the artificial lights and her smile brighter than a million stars. Pulling out his phone he watched as neither one of them made an effort to check their phones, both too caught up in their own world to even notice the brooding gang leader in the corner.

"So, you think Oscars gunna like it?" Y/n asked as they sat down at a table, dropping the bags at the side of their chairs before flopping down.

"The guys crazy about you, pretty sure you could just throw him a card and he'll be talking about it for days." Sad eyes chuckled as he thought about his love struck best friend.

"What can I say? He's a real sweetie pie when you guys aren't around." I laughed picking up my drink and squealing when a drop of coffee slipped down the top of my shirt. "Oh wow, that's hot." I muttered pulling my top out slightly to stop it from running in the coffee.

"Thank you." She muttered as Sad eyes handed her a napkin and she began to dab the top of her chest, careful to make sure that nobody got an eyeful while she did so.

"So this is where you've been sneaking off to huh, with Lindsey." A gruff voice from behind them made the two jump, looking round to see Oscar stood there with his usual smirk set in a hard line, his eyes narrowed at the two of them as they sat there like two deers in headlights.

"Oscar? What are you doing here?" Y/n asked standing up to face him with confusion on her face.

"What? Didn't want me to find out aye mami?" Oscar growled, his attention focused on the girl in front of him, frowning and looking up at him with sparkling eyes.

"Well no, not really, kind of beats the whole idea." Sad eyes chuckled as he stood up and turned to face his life long friend.

"I'm gunna beat your ass into the fucking ground." Oscar growled before stepping forward and landing a punch straight to sad eyes' jaw.

"What the hell Oscar?!" Y/n yelled as she bent down to help Sad eyes up from the floor, his hand on his jaw and a trickle of blood falling from his lip.

"What? You think I'm gunna let you walk around acting all cosy with this putá while I sit at home waiting for you? You think I'm some kind a bitch aye?!" He yelled looking down at the two with disgust, his fists clenched to his sides. He could see the rest of the mall were watching them, but he didn't care, he knew they wouldn't try and stop him or get him escorted out, he was Spooky Diaz, he ran the streets and there was nobody that could tell him different.

"What the hell are you going on about?" Y/n asked as she stood in front of him, looking up at him in nothing but confusion.

"Don't play dumb hyna, I know about you and him, did you really think I was stupid?" He seethed, knowing that calling her a 'hyna' was one way to really piss her off, and it seemed to work as in the next second his cheek was stinging like crazy, the echoed sound of a slap confirming what he already knew, she had slapped him.

"Yeah, I do think you're dumb, I think you're the most stupid person I have ever met if you really think that lowly of me." Y/n started, her voice low as she stared daggers into Oscars eyes, ignoring the stinging in her palm from the force of the slap. "I don't give a shit who you are, big bad Spooky Diaz thinking that everyone's afraid of him because he's got a shitty tattoo on his face, Spooky Diaz who runs the streets with his big bad gang, well guess what, you're no more than little Oscar Diaz, too far up his own ass to see when someone is trying to do something nice for you, Ya know, like your girlfriend and best friend who was doing nothing more than planning your birthday, you moron!" She finished with a yell, watching as the anger in his eyes suddenly faded and turned to guilt, his eyes flicking over to Sad eyes who did nothing but shrug, he should've know lying to Spooky was gunna end up this way.

"Y/n I-"

"Y/n I - Nothing Oscar! If you thought that something was wrong why not ask me? It could've been a simple question but instead you decide to go start shit in the middle of the mall, punching Sad eyes and for what? To make yourself look like a fool." She muttered, tears building up as she shook her head and turned to Sad Eyes. "Let's go." She muttered sadly, holding on to his arm and leading him away from Oscar, their food and bags forgotten about as they left the Santos leader standing in his own bubble of guilt and stupidity.

He should've just asked...

------------

It's kinda short and I left it at a terrible place but this has been in my ask for ages now and I just wanted to get it out, if anyone wants it I've been thinking up a part 2 🥰

#Oscar diaz imagine #oscar diaz imagines #spooky diaz imagine #spooky diaz imagines #on my block imagines #on my block #on my block imagine

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cluster-fandom · 3 years

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Not the day for this

Atsumu, Oikawa, and Noya prank their S/O on a bad day

Warnings: Swearing, food/eating || hospital mention, knife mention, stitches mention, and getting a cut in Noya’s (nothing descriptive just the words themselves)

A/N: This is my first time writing for multiple characters! I enjoyed this a lot

I was heavily inspired by @kybabi !! Go check them out if you haven’t before :)

Atsumu

• Today was not your day at all

• You had failed a test and got in an argument with your best friend

• So all you really wanted to do was come home to your boyfriend and relax

• Unfortunately Atsumu was not aware of how your day had been going

• You both liked to poke fun at each other and this time Atsumu had planned what he thought was an amazing prank

• He couldn’t wait for you to get home

You were driving home from university to your shared apartment with Atsumu. Between the frustration of scoring low a test you had studied so hard for and getting into a dumb fight with one of your best friends, you were ready to snap. The heat didn’t help anything either. At the very least you got to come home to Atsumu. The thought of being wrapped up in your boyfriends arms had kept you from lashing out at anyone that came in contact with you.

You two had been together for over a year and while he could be insufferable at times, you adored him. He was always making you laugh through his ridiculousness, and you were the same. But your favorite memories were when he looked at you with that lopsided grin and said that he loved you.

As you walked up to your front door you noticed it was slightly open.

‘Did Atsumu forget to close the door?’ You briefly wonder before going inside where it was cool.

“Ats-OH MY GOD!”

You were drenched in ice water and the bucket that had been sitting on the door clanked to the floor.

“HEY BABE I THOUGHT YOU COULD USE SOME COOLING OFF!” Atsumu grinned, finding his prank hilarious.

“FUCKING HELL ATSUMU THIS WAS NOT WHAT I NEEDED TODAY!” You yell as you shake your arms of water.

You shove past him towards the bathroom where you could get a towel and hairdryer.

“Wait wait wait! It was just a joke I’m sorry!” He’s fumbling over his words in confusion.

He follows you into the bathroom where you were shoving things out of the way to get your hairdryer out of the cabinet.

“Babe- I’m sorry I didn’t know you’d be mad!” He whines.

You ignore him as you try to (unsuccessfully) untangle the cord of your hairdryer.

“God-dammit-“ you mumble as you only end up getting it more tangled.

“Do you want me to hel-“

“NO ATSUMU IVE GOT IT!” You snap at him.

“Why are you so mad?” He’s genuinely confused. You’ve never been this mad at a prank before?? And this wasn’t even the worst one he’s done-

“I DONT KNOW MAYBE ITS BECAUSE IM DRENCHED AND FREEZING FUCKING COLD? JUST- LEAVE ME ALONE RIGHT NOW!” You’re just done with everything and Atsumu can clearly tell he’s not making anything better at the moment so he retreats to the living room.

After you’ve dried your hair and changed into some dry clothes you went to you and Atsumu’s shared bedroom.

You were scrolling on your phone when there was a knock at the door.

Atsumu cautiously stepped into the room.

“Y/N, can we talk?”

You sighed and set your phone aside.

When you nodded, Atsumu sat on the bed in front of you.

“I’m sorry I upset you. The prank wasn’t funny,” he looked at you with guilty eyes.

“I’m not mad about the prank. I’ve just had a really bad day and it all piled up and I took it out on you. I shouldn’t have yelled, I’m sorry.”

You explained the events of your day and how you had wanted some quality time with him, and instead you had gotten an ice bath.

“I’m so sorry Y/N, I never wanted to make you feel so bad. Let me make it up to you?” He pleaded. He gave you his biggest puppy dog eyes. (🥺)

Your heart melted and of course you said yes.

He perked up immediately, rushing out of the room. He came back with an armful of snacks and settled in next to you. He switched on your favorite movie and pulled you onto his lap.

“I love you so, so much baby,” he whispered into your hair. He leaned down to press a kiss into your cheek.

“And I love you,” you whispered back.

Oikawa

• You knew that with dating Oikawa, people would be jealous

• But his fangirls could get really bad sometimes

• Today they had been following you around saying how you weren’t pretty enough, smart enough for him

• It had gotten to you a little bit

• So you were ready to be home with your boyfriend away from others eyes

• Oikawa had no clue of this though and had devised, in his mind, a brilliant prank to get a rise out of you once you got home

You were finally home to your apartment with Oikawa. He had been on his phone when you walked in and greeted you with his signature grin. After a tight hug, he said he needed to go grab something in the bedroom.

You settled down on the couch letting your body relax on the plush cushions.

*bzzt bzzt*

You looked to see that Oikawa had left his phone behind. You were about to go back to resting, until you registered the name of the sender.

You bolted upright and grabbed the phone, hoping you had read it wrong.

#1 Fangirl 😉

You and Oikawa had been together for a year and you trusted him with your entire being. But seeing that name made fear pool in your stomach.

You didn’t dare to unlock his phone, despite knowing his password, for fear of what you might find.

Your thoughts were running a mile a minute as you entered your bedroom where Oikawa was in the closet.

Was there someone else? He wouldn’t do that to you right? He seemed so happy with you. He had never said he wasn’t satisfied with anything at all. Nothing had changed recently, so was something going on the whole time? Were his fangirls right?

That last question scared you the most.

“Love?” You called out.

Oikawa had a devilish smirk on his face. He knew that you would have seen the texts by now. He had come up with the prank a few days ago and was excited for you to get smart with him and call out the obvious.

“Yes?” He called back, not looking to you.

“Who’s number one fangirl?” You said, voice shaking. You didn’t know when your vision had started going blurry.

At the sound of your shaky voice, your boyfriend whipped around, eyes wide.

“Oh Angel, it’s nobody, it was all a prank I swear,” he pulled you to his chest, “I asked Iwa-Chan to help me, that’s who’s actually sending the texts.”

“S-so you’re not cheating on me?” You hiccup slightly and Oikawa’s heart aches he wipes away a stray tear. He mentally slaps himself for making you insecure.

“Never. I would never leave you for some other girl who just wants me for my looks. You love me for who I am and I am so, so grateful to have you,” he holds you tighter to him.

Once you’ve collected yourself, you tell him about all the things that had been said to you and how it had made you doubt if you were good enough for him. He quietly listened to you talk, holding you the entire time until you were finished.

He gently lifted your face up to meet his eyes. You noticed how his jaw was clenched and his lips were pressed in a thin line.

“Y/N. I am so sorry that those people made you feel unworthy. I promise, you are more than I could have ever asked for. They won’t bother you again ok?” His voice was low, but still as gentle as ever. His eyes softened as he looked at you. He let his muscles relax and gave you a small smile.

Your heart felt full as you nodded.

“Okay, now why don’t we go to the couch and cuddle for a while. Let me show you how much I love you,” he gave your forehead a light kiss.

You smiled up at him.

“I love you Tōru.”

“I love you more, Angel.”

Nishinoya

• You were one inconvenience away from exploding

• You worked the customer service center at your malls department store (it hadn’t been your first choice but you needed money) and you had already had to deal with two Karens this morning

• The second one actually made your manager come down, who wasn’t happy about that

• So now you were at risk of losing your job

• Thankfully though you finally got to go on your lunch break

• You were excited because your boyfriend had time to spend it with you today

• You needed the pick me up and Noya’s naturally energetic personality never failed to do so

• Unfortunately, Nishinoya decided that today was the perfect day to execute his genius prank

You growled in annoyance as your keys got momentarily stuck in the lock to your apartment.

You had been yelled at three times today already. By two entitled middle aged women who wouldn’t listen to you no matter how many times you gave an explanation to them, and then by your manager who told you off for making him get involved with your “nonsense.”

You had been hanging on to your last shred of self control to not start screaming at your boss.

But you were home now and were more than ready to have a nice lunch with your boyfriend.

“Y/N! YOU’RE HOME!” You stumbled back as you were tackled in a hug.

“I made you lunch!” Noya grinned as he released you from his hold.

You giggled as he grabbed your hand to lead you to the kitchen.

Now, you loved Noya, but his cooking was, well, not edible sometimes. But he seemed to have gone pretty safe this time around.

There were two bowls of ramen with bread rolls on the side.

“Looks like someone was busy,” you tease. He rolls his eyes and motions for you to eat.

You were listening to Noya talk about his morning while you ate.

“And then I-“

“AH! HOT! HOT! HOT!” You were panting. The noodles were spicier than you could handle. You took a bite of the bread and nearly puked.

“Is- IS THAT MAYONNAISE?!?” You cough trying to get the awful tastes out your mouth. You rush to the fridge and down a glass of milk.

“Yū what the fuck?!” You say after catching your breath.

“What? I thought you said you wanted to expand your palette,” he’s wearing a smug grin.

You huff and get your things together to leave.

“Wait- don’t go!” He’s scrambling to catch up to you.

“I can’t do this today. I’ll see you after my shift,” you slam the door behind you as you leave.

You picked up a quick meal from the food court and find an empty table to eat at.

You had turned your phone off, not wanting to hear your notifications go off. The rest of your shift was uneventful thankfully, but you were still beyond irritated.

It was twenty minutes until the end of your shift when you turn your phone back on. You had about a dozen texts from Yū, which you were expecting, but you had a missed call from Tanaka from five minutes ago.

Confused, you called back.

“Hello?”

“Y/N! Uh, so you see, Noya he- well he was trying to make something up to you? Anyways, he called me over to your place and I was helping him cook and he may have accidentally, umm, cut his finger pretty bad.”

“What?! Tanaka where are you right now?” You were already gathering your things and writing a note to your boss explaining your leave.

“The hospital,” he replied.

“I’ll be there in a few minutes,” you rushed to your car.

You may have been driving way a little past the speed limit, but you were at the hospital in record time.

Thanks to the lady at the front desk, you found Yū quickly. You thanked Tanaka as he left the room, not wanting to stand around awkwardly.

“Yū! Are you okay? What were you even doing with a knife! Here let me see,” you grabbed his hand and looked it over.

His pointer and middle finger had been wrapped up in bandages, but the rest of his hand looked fine.

“They didn’t need stitches,” he said bashfully.

“Hmph you’re lucky,” you mumbled, “but why would you need to use a knife?” You searched his face. He looked away, hand rubbing the back of his neck in embarrassment.

“I was trying to make you a nice dinner. I wanted to make it up to you for lunch,” he was uncharacteristically quiet.

You gently turned his face towards you, giving him a quick kiss. His face turned bright red and he sputtered incoherently for a minute.

“I’m sorry for what I said. I was having a pretty bad morning and getting my tongue burnt off didn’t help. You’re still an amazing boyfriend though and I still love you,” you intertwined your hands with his and gave it a gentle squeeze. He smiled and leaned to touch his forehead to yours

“Does that mean we can have spicy ramen for dinner then?” He asked.

“Don’t push it.”

I hope you enjoyed! Any feedback is highly appreciated!

*I do not own Haikyuu!! or the characters only the story*

*Do not repost anywhere, all credits to me*

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lemonandtheart · 3 years

Text

@gxmonth Day 18 - This Wasn't In The Rule Book!! vampire au vampire aU VAMPIRE AU~~!! I have always been such a sucker for monsters and magic lol. I wrote a little fanfic drabble a hot minute ago that I'll include under the cut!

There were rumors running rampant all through Domino. Breathless whispers through the crowds of its residents. They spread fear like the plague, but who could blame them? With all of the people who’d gone missing never to be seen again it was only natural such a fear would grow until it had reached an unprecedented proportion. Whether it was truth or not didn’t matter because to the people of Domino there was no doubt. A vampire was on the loose through the city streets after nightfall.

Despite the lack of evidence, Jesse Andersen hoped the rumors true. He’d come a long way to hunt down this supposed dirty bloodsucker. His friend, Jim, had offered to come along on the journey too but Jesse had declined. They didn’t truly know if there was a vampire in Domino City. He’d certainly find out after dark. Since the people of Domino had been keeping holed up inside at night the past few months, he was sure the parasite had to be starved by now.

A chill settled in the night air once the sun fully disappeared over the horizon. Jesse pulled his thick, black jacket tighter to his chest. It would be a long night. He was glad he’s had the foresight of buying himself a hot coffee before the shops closed. It warmed him from the inside out as he perused the streets. Hopefully one of two things would occur: either there was no vampire and he’d be on his merry way after a quick report back to the Vampire Hunter’s Association or there was a parasitic lowlife lurking among the shadows that he would eliminate well before the sun would rise again. Either way Jesse felt that he’d be headed home within the next few days.

He paused underneath of a spotlight near a fountain. It wasn’t running and with the high-rise buildings surrounding he felt even the nearly silent sound of his pulse was amplified. It was quiet—eerily so. Not a thing in the whole city seemed to make any noise and the stillness of it was deafening. A soft, distant tapping of heels against pavement was a deliberate break in the silence. Jesse set his hand on the small stake launcher secured to his belt. The sound echoed and made it seem to come from everywhere at once. He slowly backed up to the fountain, craning his neck around to try and find the direction of the noise. Any direction would do. What he wasn’t expecting was the freezing hands on his shoulders matched with a silken, sultry voice from directly behind him. “Well, what’s a pretty thing like you doing here?”

Jesse jolted from the grasp and yanked the weapon from its holster, aiming it squarely at the chest of the man, no, monster he was looking for. He had messy, untamable, two-toned brown hair and a set of gleaming golden eyes staring hungrily at him. He wore a low-cut V-neck shirt that nearly slit down to his stomach, the two sides of the fabric held together by thin string tied crossways. The sleeves, he noticed, were ruffled when he moved his hands up to the sides of his head — palms facing forward in a show of submission. His pants buttoned and sat snugly on his thin hips before disappearing beneath his high-heeled boots at the knee. The heels dug into the stone of the fountain he stood upon; the streetlights the ideal backdrop for his cape he wore over the ensemble. It fastened just above his clavicle with a jeweled button. Jesse sneered in disgust at the creature, but more so at the choice of apparel. It was far too extra, making him look more like a movie villain than a bloodthirsty creature of night. “Hasn’t anyone warned you it’s dangerous to be out so late at night?” The vampire questioned.

“I could ask the same to you, vampire.” Jesse responded, gesturing to the launcher aimed still at his chest. The vampire chuckled.

“Perhaps, but I own these streets. The name’s Jaden by the way. Jaden Yuki. To whom do I owe the pleasure of meeting this lovely evening?”

“Jesse Andersen. Sorry to say, but these streets were never yours.” Jaden kept his hands raised but stepped down from his position atop the fountain’s rim. Jesse began backing up, his eyes and shot never leaving the vampire as he strutted towards him.

“Is that so?” He drawled, continuing his slow approach. Jesse’s fingers twitched on the trigger, the small movement pushing Jaden to respond. He kicked high, knocking the weapon out of Jesse’s hands and into the sky. It came crashing back to the Earth and hit the rock of the fountain with a horrendous crack, bouncing into the water in a jagged movement. Jesse’s eyes widened at the horror of being disarmed. He hadn’t expected to find an adversary of any remarkable skill on the streets of Domino. Now, only panic and fear pooled in his stomach as he kept his eyes locked on Jaden’s. “Care to tell me what brings you here, Jesse?”

“You.”

“Me?” Jaden asked, cocking his head to the side in an innocent way.

“Obviously! You’re the one who’s been kidnapping people for the past few months!” Jesse’s words only seemed to confuse Jaden more. He furrowed his brow hard.

“Wait, wait. Hold on a minute. First of all, I haven’t kidnapped anyone ever! I haven’t even been out from the lair in a year or so! I’ve been—”

“I thought you owned these streets?” Jesse sassed.

“Well, ehe, I thought it’d sound cool. Didn’t it?” Jaden admitted, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly.

“That doesn’t matter!” Jesse exclaimed, shaking Jaden’s shoulders. Jaden pouted.

“Fine, fine. Anyways, I’m not the one you’re after.”

“Great! Now I’m stuck in the heart of Domino with two vampires wandering the streets with no weapon.” He whined, coming to sit at the fountain. Jaden shrugged casually.

“There are plenty more vampires than that here, but okay.” An idea struck Jesse, fast and hard and stupid. So stupid, in fact, it just might work.

“You!” He exclaimed suddenly, rushing Jaden and squeezing his shoulders roughly. Jaden blinked slowly at him.

“Me?”

“Yes! You’ve got to know all the vampires around here!”

“So?”

“So, you must know the one responsible! You can help me!” Jaden’s eyes narrowed, intrigue taking over.

“Oh? And what’s in it for me?” He purred. Jesse gulped but didn’t let the fear register. He knew it’d make his job so much easier to play the enemy. If he could get Jaden to work with him, he could eliminate not only the immediate threat but Jaden as well. Killing two vampires with one stake. All he had to do was play his cards right.

“Would…some of my blood be fine enough payment?” He asked, playing as though he was embarrassed by such an idea. He’d noticed many vampires he’d dealt with in the past responded well if he pretended like he was new, nervous, and never before bitten. It was like the idea of being the first to drink from a human was a special treat that was rarely given. He’d been bitten plenty by vampires and honestly it wasn’t that bad. It only would become a problem should he take his lifeblood—the true way to turn a human into a vampire. Jaden pursed his lips as Jesse lowered the collar of his jacket, offering payment upfront for his cooperation. He closed in on Jesse, gripping his biceps and wetly licking a stripe up Jesse’s neck to his ear. Jesse hated the way his body shuddered at the feeling, both of the lick and Jaden’s hot breath now in his ear. Though, he was also grateful for it. It helped to sell the unspoken act of it being his first time. He bit his own lip, mentally preparing himself for Jaden’s fangs. It was always the initial jab that was the worst part. A short, single noise of amusement left Jaden’s mouth before his answer rang numbly in his ear.

“No.” Jesse felt his eyes widen when Jaden pulled back to look Jesse in the face, a casual smirk present on his lips. He had never once in all of his time dealing with vampires ever had one turn down a willing, easy meal. It was astounding and almost admirable. Jaden was on an entirely new level of vampire he’d never seen before. He could feel his cheeks flush with real embarrassment of being turned down so casually. What, was his blood not good enough? “I came up for a reason tonight, Jesse. Would you like to know it?” Words failed, so he simply nodded. Jaden closed the short distance between them and slotted his chin in the juncture of Jesse’s neck, lips less than an inch away from Jesse’s ear. He whispered like he was revealing a grand secret. “You see, I’ve very recently come of age. It’s time to build a court of my own, but to do that I have to prove myself. Know how?” His answer was a shake of the head. He could feel Jaden’s smirk grow. “I have to turn a human into a vampire in front of everyone I know. A little ceremony if you will. I was hoping to find myself a willing participant to join my court. My first member. That’s all I could ever ask for.”

The color that’d been building in Jesse’s face drained. He was terrified in the, albeit gentle, grip of a vampire that wanted to turn him. It was a good thing in a way. At least Jaden didn’t have any desire to kill him, and that made him feel a bit better. Still, with all the vampires Jesse’d seen he’d never truly spoken to one longer than necessary. In one short description from Jaden, he felt like he’d learned more of the societal structure of vampires than he had in his relatively short career. Jaden pulled away from him, making eye contact with Jesse. He could feel the icy cold of Jaden’s fingers on the skin of his face. His lips moved, but no sound came out. Jesse shook his head, hoping to tune back in. “What?” He asked. Jaden shook his head softly, tsking.

“I said that if you wanted to, we could have a little fun. Make a game of it. Only if you’re a willing participant of course. I’d hate to coerce you into a life you’re uncomfortable with.”

“A game of what?”

“Rewards! If you win, I’ll help you track the vampire behind the disappearances and as an added bonus I’ll leave Domino. But if I win, you’ll stay and become my first court member. We can still track the vampire down, that’s a given. Either way you’ll still benefit in one fashion or another.”

“And what game will we be playing?”

“How’s hide and go seek? I know it’s a bit unfair since I know the city better than you, so we can keep tally at the fountain. Say, five minutes to hide and ten to seek? We’ll play ‘till dawn, so twelve rounds. No rooftops, no going into buildings, no turning into bats. Sound fair?” Jaden extended his hand to Jesse. His heart pounded in his chest. He couldn’t believe he was even considering it, but it was true. Jaden was the best bet of actually locating the vampire he was looking for, and even if he lost Jaden didn’t seem like that bad of a guy. He was inclined to take Jaden’s hand, so he did. A searing pain ran up his arm and radiated through his body. “The oath is bound. I’ll seek first.” He turned his back to Jesse, covering his eyes with his hands. “One…Two…Three…”

Jesse ran as fast as his legs could carry him. The people of Domino were depending on him to end their blight. He had to win. He felt a sort of obligation to rid the world of these vermin. Yet, there was something about Jaden Yuki that’d drawn him in way too far for a first encounter. His initial presence had felt intimidating, domineering, and had in an instant become soft and genuine. It felt so wrong to see any good in one of those filthy creatures of the night, but Jesse couldn’t help it. He could sense the overwhelming good nature of Jaden and it made him feel inclined to believe that this would be a fair game.

That was five minutes. Jesse tucked himself tight into an alleyway. He slowed his breathing, trying hard not to give himself away. The click of Jaden’s heels against the concrete filled every crevasse and made it impossible to know how close or far Jaden really was. The gentle glow of the moon and the harsh lights of the city around were the only means Jesse had of sight. He wished desperately for the warmth of the sun. This alley felt like static on his skin. The clicking finally stopped. He held his breath, shifting slightly back behind the boxes he was obscured by. “Found you!” Jaden smirked. He’d moved so fast he’d nearly materialized out of thin air. “Alright! One to nothin’! Better catch-up Jess, unless you secretly do want to be a vampire!” He stuck out his tongue past his sharp teeth before taking off down the alley. Jesse couldn’t help the smile that overtook his face. This was actually kind of fun. Jaden, as dangerous as he had the potential to be, actually was making this unfortunate situation fun.

He found Jaden easily, far too easily. He’d been out in the open, almost waiting for him. With each passing round Jaden found him with unfathomable ease and Jesse him with increasing difficulty. It all came down to the final round – Jaden’s six to Jesse’s five. It was Jesse’s turn to seek. “Good luck, Jess. I can’t wait to see how good you’ll look on the ceremonial altar for me!” He winked suggestively and, in a flash, he was gone. Jesse closed his eyes and willed the color from his face. He was a grown ass man. He could deal with comments like that! He could! He began his count.

There was breeze now that brushed and caressed his skin with an all-new chill. It made him feel uncertain. Could he really find Jaden? He had been getting harder and harder to find. If he failed to find him, he’d still finish the job he’d come to the city to do. The only difference was that he wouldn’t be leaving. His heart fluttered in his chest. It was making him feel fuzzy to think about. He didn’t hate the idea; he hadn’t hated the idea from the start actually. If he had, he wouldn’t’ve agreed to play. Hell, he didn’t even hate vampires down to his core like most of his friends did. He’d mostly joined to thanks to Jim’s glowing reference and the promise of traveling about. You had to dehumanize vampires to bring yourself to kill them. He’d gotten good at it and he loved to be good at something. He didn’t think now though that even if a good opportunity showed itself that he could go through killing Jaden. He’d done an excellent job at humanizing himself from the start to Jesse.

His counted ended and the final chase began. He only had until the sun rose now. Domino was huge and for once that evening, he actually felt defeated. Still, he pressed onwards and kept his search going. Every alley, every street, behind every garbage can and every car. It was like Jaden had disappeared entirely until finally he reached the first place he’d hidden. “Jaden! I know you’re there!” Jesse bluffed. He heard a chuckle come from behind him and flipped around. Jaden was so close, leaning in towards him.

“So close and yet so far.” Jaden said, gesturing over his shoulder. The sun had already begun to slink over the horizon. He felt Jaden’s thin but strong arms wrap around him and a swirling vortex of black consumed them.

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soysaucevictim · 3 years

Text

“aching, shaking, breaking (like humans do)”

Summary: Remus thinks Hypnos has abandoned him for good (metaphorically speaking), Patton is there to help. (Sanders Sides, Gym Rat AU. One-shot. Ao3 link.)

Genres: Slice of Life, Hurt/Comfort, Sickfic

Characters: Patton and Remus centric. Logan, Virgil, and Roman mentioned.

Relationships: Intruality (platonic), Logicality (platonic), Background Intrulogical (platonic/ambiguous), Background Dukexiety (romantic/QPP), Background Moxiety (paternal/platonic)

Warnings: Remus angst, extreme insomnia, (unintentional) self-injury, medications, mental health issues, grim imagery, Remus Has Intrusive Thoughts, Remus Is A Mess, Patton Is A Good Friend, Interfaith Friendships, Implied (Extended) Family Problems

Patton was pedaling on one of the exercise bikes, which was one of his favorite activities to do at the gym. Relatively low impact and he usually took a “something is better than nothing” approach to his routines nowadays. Just appreciating the people watching and socializing with his workout famILY.

That was odd.

Remus hadn’t been to the gym for the whole week. Even when the kiddo overdid it – usually he’s not out of commission this long for it. Unless-

Something hit him in the gut when he realized that. He stopped on his bike and immediately buzzed his number.

Ring.

Nothing.

He could shoot him a text, but it was just not settling right with him. Logan had been doing one of his HIIT circuits on the bike next to him. He took a deep breath, gently tapping Logan’s shoulder. Despite Logan’s concentration, he desisted immediately, turning off his music to respond, “What is it?”

“Have you seen a certain Pottymouth at your work recently?”

Logan paused, with a look of concerned realization, “Come to think of it, no. No, I haven’t. Well, he was getting particularly erratic and called in sick… 3 days ago.”

“I think I should go check in on him. My Other Son’s been swamped with work lately, sooo…”

If Logan was perfectly honest, it was often confusing when Patton referred to half their crew as his son, “Other son? Did you mean Virgil?”

Patton nodded.

“Probably prudent. Unfortunately, no one can stand in for me at the firm tonight. And. You’re better at the… emotions stuff.”

“I appreciate the vote of confidence! Hopefully I’m just worried for nothing.”

Patton rose up from his bike and was about to leave with his things. Logan smiled faintly, “Hey, if you would, could you tell me how he’s doing when you find out?”

Patton smiled back, a little forced if he was honest, “I’ll make sure to have him tell you that himself!”

It wasn’t a very far trip across the city to get to Remus’s apartment complex from the gym.

Once Patton parked his car and took another deep breath, he stepped out toward it.

After getting buzzed in and jogging up a couple flights of stairs, thanking his stars for basic training, he was at the door in a jiffy.

Patton wasn’t in the business, but he was reminded of the time Remus was raising heck to get Unit 404 from this building. He remembered seeing Logan trying desperately not to laugh when he heard about it.

He knew to knock to the phrase “Shave and a Haircut”, to alert Remus. He drummed out a few calls, waiting for Remus to make a sound on the other side, hoping he would.

It was a thing in their group, ever since they all watched “Roger Rabbit” together for a movie night, years ago.

Once. Twice. Thrice…

Patton heard the sound of chaotic crashing noises and an off-script, but still in the right cadence, “Fuck OFF!”

“Remus!? Kiddo, it’s me. I wanted to check on you!”

He heard some stumbling noises and a hoarse, “P-padre?”

“Can I come in?”

There was a dramatically loud sigh before the door was unlatched, unlocked, and open.

“Thanks- oh.”

Patton wasn’t exactly sure what he was expecting, but Remus looked even more harried than he usually was. The darkness around his eyes even more pronounced, his face was so drained. His makeup smudged, tear-streaked, and hanging on for dear life. His gaze wild and jumpy. Remus didn’t do much more than stand in the living room, staring at Patton once he entered.

Patton saw that Remus had knocked over one of his glass cabinets. He noticed Remus looked pretty scratched up and was bleeding in places, mostly his hands and knuckles.

Patton furrowed his brow, asking mostly to avoid presumptions, “How are you feeling?”

Remus sounded breathless too, “What does it fucking… look like!?”

Patton paused and looked around some more, there was a lot of trash strewn about the floor. Granted there usually was, Remus would just call it “organized chaos”. But Patton did note that there was an alarming number of energy drink cans piled around a hopelessly full trash bin. Monsters, NOS, Red Bulls, 5 Hours, yerba mate, the works.

Patton slumped a little bit in worry, “Not exactly peachy keen, I take it?”

Patton had a hunch that Remus was screaming not that long ago, based on just how raw his voice sounded, “No SHIT!”

“Um, would you like to sit down for a bit? It might help to talk it out.”

“Can’t.”

“Too restless, huh?”

“Yeah.”

At that point Remus was mindlessly digging his fingernails into his arm. Patton winced a little and decided to ask, “Can I take care of those injuries, at least? I just want to make sure they don’t get-”

Remus glanced at but barely registered the wounds, “Infected?”

“Yeah.”

“F-first aid kit’s in the bathroom. Not like it matters. It would be just my luck to have a brown recluse bite or resistant staph or necrotizing fasciitis. You know where shit rots and liquefies and you get all septic?! Imagine the SMELL.”

Patton slowly worked his way to the bathroom to get the kit, not taking his eyes away from Remus, “Well, if it looks like it’ll be that way, I WILL be taking your butt to the ER.”

Remus didn’t seem to register that, droning on, “Oh. What if I lose a finger? Or several! Or my entire hands! Everybody says I might die of a heart attack before I hit 30? My ticker feels like it’s going to EXPLODE, Teddy Roosevelt. Imagine a live grenade strapped to it – BOOM. Sounds like fun.”

Patton flinched, thinking that was to get a rise out of him, “Kiddo, I think that’s the opposite of fun.”

Remus weakly laughed, pointing at his chest thoughtlessly, “Better than worrying about cancer or some shit!”

Eventually Patton had to break line of sight to grab the kit, but he kept talking, “When… when did you last get some sleep?”

There was a pause that made Patton’s own heart ache a little bit. Remus muttered after some hemming and hawing, “Uh… 3? 4? 4 days ago? I think. I don’t even fucking know.”

Patton took a moment to look over the medicine cabinet while he was there. Just to see if Remus had anything that could help him get much needed snooze time. There was a bottle of trazodone, mostly full, Benedryl, also mostly full… no suspiciously empty bottles of anything around. So that was a hopeful sign.

“Would you mind if I asked you to take something to help you sleep? After I patch you up?”

“You remember that story where a whole batch of Tylenol was tampered with and killed like seven whole people?”

“… I’ll ask again a little later, then.”

Patton returned to the living room, kit in hand, both relieved and disconcerted about Remus just standing in the same spot he was in. His hands were clenching and unclenching, like he was fighting to stay awake even longer. “Okay, it would be easier on both of us if you sat down while I dress those wounds.”

Remus didn’t move, so Patton tried to gently nudge this poor kid toward the sofa anyways. Thankfully, he didn’t resist at all. Patton noticed just how wobbly a gait he had in that short distance. Once seated, Patton also saw that both his knees were scuffed. Patton winced, imagining that he took at least a few falls very recently.

Without prompting, Remus whined, “Everything hurts, Padre.”

“Well, going without sleep as long as you have can give you a bad case of the body aches. Seen some of my old combat buddies deal with that on our worst deployments…”

Patton started to wipe down Remus’s knuckles first with some cotton balls and alcohol. He just wanted to get a better sense of how deep these cuts were. He was relieved that they were surprisingly shallow, “I think these will only need some simple bandages and antibiotic cream… but I’m definitely going to check on you later, to see how your hands are doing.”

Remus nodded, and started to blather a bit again, “I feel like Hypnos himself has forsaken me. A curse! A bane! Pat? Is his brother going to come for me? Am I going to ride down Styx and meet the big H himself?”

“… you’re not going to die, if I can help it. I swear to God Himself.”

“Gross.”

Patton sometimes forgot that their positions of faith were so far removed. But that didn’t dissuade him from caring a lot. He hated seeing his friend suffering so much. He took another breath, and addressed the gouges and cuts in Remus’s arms. They were rough, probably unintentionally from his own hands. He approached those similarly. “You feeling any sleepier, yet?”

“Mmm… no.”

Remus looked like he was about to pass out, Patton was reasonably sure just the fact he was seated and getting some TLC helped push him closer to shutting his eyes. “Well. I’m going to hang around for a few, just to make sure you’re alright, okay? Mind if I turn on the TV?”

Remus started to slur his speech considerably, “Knock yourself out, Holy Ghost.”

Patton thinly smiled about the blasphemous sentiment, but he shook that off, it didn’t matter really. He was just glad to see Remus doze off like he desperately needed it.

Patton decided to tune into Nickelodeon and watch some cartoon reruns, eventually hearing some loud snoring coming from Remus. Patton sighed and smiled at the sight.

“Oh GEEZ, Patton. Were you – were you here all night?”

Patton blinked awake from the shouting and looked outside to see it was bright out, “I-I guess I was?”

Virgil was there to see his boyfriend sleeping like the dead and Patton next to him.

“Logan told me to check on Remus and I just got back here. And-”

“Remus is going to be okay, I think. Do you have any idea what may’ve started this episode?”

Virgil sat down on the recliner nearby and looked tired but contemplative.

“His “family” tried contacting him. All I know was it devolving into a messy fight and it rattled him. He… stubbornly didn’t want to talk about it.”

Patton understood what he meant at this point.

The only blood relative Remus had anything nice to say about was Roman. Someone who should probably know what happened, if he wasn’t already aware.

All to address later, once Remus recovered a little more.

Patton ran his fingers through Remus’s greasy hair. Not the most pleasant, but he hoped it helped to soothe him as he continued to slumber.

Virgil smiled at both of them, his own concern never quite gone, “Thanks for this, Pop Star.”

#spilled musing #sanders sides #remus sanders #patton sanders #logan sanders #virgil sanders #roman sanders #(yes - give both the twins a drabble in crisis)#(patton's here mincing his oaths whilst remus is swearing like a sailor... pffft )#(patton used to be a combat medic in this AU - so like. he's seen some shit but is still v caring)#gymrat au

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electricbluebutterflies · 3 years

Note

Could you do an 'I didn't know I was pregnant prompt' where somehow Abby, who's a doctor and won't ever live it down, doesn't realize that she's pregnant until she's in labor. Possibly with it being conveniently when she's alone bar delinquents, and someone has to go track down Kane and inform him of what's going on.

Canon-divergent from early s3 ish. Also featuring Raven being awesome and Clarke trying not to have a breakdown, so hopefully I wrote those two darlings okay. Content warning for vague / non-graphic and questionably medically accurate descriptions of childbirth. PG13ish for that and also swear words. Also on ao3.

The thing about quiet is it doesn’t last. She should’ve knownbetter.

It’s been a year, maybe a little more than that. Time flowsdifferently here, but one of the kids – and Abby knows they are not that anymore,most of them are so much more capable than her, but in her mind they are stillso small – is pretty sure they saw a snowflake yesterday. So, bit more than ayear. And about a year since she broke down and let herself be reckless and…

All of this hits her in the worst way as she realizes whather body is doing. This pain is not cramps, but she can’t blame herself forgetting confused, it’s been a while since she’s had her normal cycle and-

Yeah. This is what she gets for ignoring her own body aswell as she does. Dammit.

The worst part is, Abby thinks as she paces across herworkspace because so help her she is not letting this nor anything else stopher, she justified everything. Her last implant had expired shortly after shewas widowed, and she’d passed on getting another one because she was on theedge of forty and had zero plans to ever let anyone else touch her and she didn’twant to waste resources like that, and she’d just… forgotten about that detaila year and a half later when she’d gone and taken a new lover anyways. With orwithout the implant, her cycles were always erratic and she stopped trying topredict that ages ago. Nausea got justified when she wasn’t the only person whoate bad meat (turns out mutant might’ve-descended-from-a-raccoon needs to be cookedlonger than that attempt was); a little weight gain because she iseating more, because that’s a possibility now. Said weight pooling in herabdomen is normal enough for a woman her age, right?

She justified everything, she was wrong, and now she is-

Fuck.

Okay, so right now pants are a mistake. They’re soakedthrough anyways, and somehow the idea of someone wandering in and seeing hernaked from the hips down is one of the less embarrassing details of this wholedisaster. Normal people have seven or eight months to process imminent parenthoodbefore it comes. She won’t even have that many hours. Supposedly births getquicker the more a person has had, and given her track record there…

Another wave of pain hits and she grabs the edge of the tablefor support. At least she’s having this crisis – she is trying to use everyword for it but what it is, and she will go through the guilt spiral later – inmedical. Ideal place for this nightmare. If she has to give birth on herown, as is looking more and more likely, at least she is doing so in a safeplace. That’s about the only thing going right here.

There is, after all, the small issue of her partner havingno damn clue about any of this.

Last she checked – and she tries not to hover, she is notthat kind of woman and their more recent trust in each other has eliminatedsome of her tendencies – Marcus is out on a hunting / scavenging daytrip. Whichmeans he may or may not be back before this is over. Either way, explaining howshe managed to be oblivious for close to nine months about something so significantis not going to be a good time and she is more than a little nervous about thatand-

Abby hears the door open behind her. Great. Now thenightmare is complete.

“Are you…” Raven, thank goodness, at least the intruder issomeone who occasionally has common sense. “Screw that, you’re not okay.”

“How willing are you to believe things right now?” Abbyasks, turning her head to look at her friend. Group bonding across generationsis rough, but she sees a different kind of potential in the younger woman thanmost people do. Like this one, if she doesn’t accidentally kill herself beforeshe turns thirty, has some serious untapped leadership potential. And moreimportantly right now, Raven is extremely well-connected and has a highertolerance for crazy than most people. So, again, ideal person.

“From you, pretty cooperative,” Raven shrugs. “What happenedslash who do I need to electrocute?”

“I somehow managed to ignore being pregnant and… it’scoming.” And saying it out loud sounds even more damning than realizing it herselfhalf an hour ago, dragging another person into this mess with her and puttingthat weight on someone who doesn’t need it. “Feel free to judge me.”

“Nah. Not sure what you need me to do but…”

“Get someone. Anyone. Nothing against you as a person but Ido not trust you to-“

Another contraction hits before Abby can sufficientlyexplain why she’d rather not have someone who interacts with technology betterthan people as her backup here. Great. If she factors in the number of timesthis has happened that she really did think were cramps, and how long it’s beensince closing her legs felt like a good idea… shit. Yeah no. There will be noexplaining this to her partner before it’s too late.

“What I’m hearing is radio your idiot and tell him to gethis ass back here as soon as humanly possible but do not tell him whybecause that’ll break him, grab the first person I can find who I’d trust tocatch something and send them in here to help you, and go through the storageroom and hope there’s still baby clothes in that one box I found some in lastmonth. Anything I’m missing?”

If Abby were more mobile, and/or felt less like her body wasabout to explode, she would hug Raven right now. “Yes. I… yes. Thank you.”

“And try to keep this on a need-to-know basis. Far as anyoneelse is concerned, you figured out you were incubating at a normal enough timebut you decided to keep quiet about it because you hate attention. That work?”

“I’m not sure that’s going to be believable when-“

“It’s believable if you’re a couple weeks before your duedate and you can pass that particular dramatic shitshow off as being more aboutthe timing.”

“I’m not sure if you’re an angel or an evil genius.”

“I’d like to think I’m both,” Raven laughs. “Now, if youthink you have enough time here for me to do that, I’m gonna go.”

Abby assesses herself quickly. Unless something somehow goeseven more wrong, she’s got at least half an hour here. “I’ll be alright.”

And again she is alone, she thinks as the door closes behindher. This is… not an absolute worst-case scenario, but pretty damn close. At best,she’s got a lot of explaining to do when it’s all over. At worst…

Describing this as an accident is a serious understatement. Therehas been no conversation about whether or not to have kids together. It neverseemed necessary. They’re older enough that the risk seemed so low, and therearen’t restrictions on that here, and she didn’t think…

She didn’t think. That’s what this all comes down to. A temporaryvacation from her normal instincts and look what that got her. No time tomentally prepare for a tiny vulnerable creature, no time to think about theimplications for her relationship, no time to even find out if her partnerwants this enough to stick around for it, no time to-

Getting closer. She is not attempting to measure herself butshe can feel the process. Timing-wise, she probably is a few weeks earlyhere, in that comfortable space where that won’t mean any problems for thelittle creature and a normal person’s biggest concern would be not being quitedone with their preparations. Whereas she has done no preparations, whatlittle of her fate isn’t in her own hands right now has been entrusted to atwenty-one-year-old who has even less of a baseline for this, and-

It’s all too much, and Abby starts crying. Most confusedemotional release she’s ever had, not sure if it’s stress or fear or pain oranticipation or probably all of those at once. Overload enough that the nextcontraction feels muted by comparison, overload enough to overlook how uncomfortablethis all is.

It’s just a little ironic that this started bent over atable and it may well end that way too, at the rate she’s going. That’ll be funny,in a couple months when any of this can be, maybe.

She hears the door open again and this time multiplefootsteps, this time she is too exhausted to even turn her head, this time-

“Mom? What the hell?”

Limited options, Abby reminds herself. Limited options ofpeople she would trust to be her backup here, and her own – possibly soon to beolder? – daughter is one of them.

“Clarke, I can-“

“Raven filled me in,” Clarke mutters, sounding so familiarlydisapproving. Abby’s always thought her daughter takes much more after her latehusband, but sometimes there are familiar flickers in there. “You basicallyneed me to catch it.”

“Basically, yes. There should be some towels in-“

“I know where things are. Learned my organization systemfrom you.”

“And I can grab stuff,” Raven adds. That would be the secondset of feet, the bright-red jacket Abby can see in her peripheral vision. “Iwould rather not see the nightmare fuel here but I can hold things or whatever.”

“Any luck with-“

Abby swears she can somehow hear Raven roll her eyes. “Wrongperson picked up, but we tried. The group at least knows something is goingdown here and hopefully I yelled enough to-“

The next pain is strong enough to blur Abby’s vision. “Nextone is it.” She’s amazed she can even talk clearly right now, but her presenceis not going away just because she’s in a crisis. She’s gotten through worse. Rarelybeen on this end of it, rarely felt so helpless, but she will not let anythingstop her. “Be ready.”

Around her, the girls attempt as much prep as they can. Abbydoes not know what they’re doing, does not think about it. There is only this. Thereis her, and the little creature that is about to exit her body, and her olderchild who is surprisingly calm about all of this, and another member of theirfamily who is at least trying to do the same, and a black hole where herpartner should be and-

She screams.

She lets it be a blur. She does not want to remember thesefew moments.

She knows one of the girls is hovering under her with alarge towel in hand, and the other one is yelling, and she doesn’t know whichis which and she doesn’t care. She knows that this is at least a familiar pain,and the first part is the worst, and the little creature – now officially hersecond child, she will let herself process that later – is slick andcooperative and how the child of two such stubborn people is so easy to dealwith in its first moments she does not know but-

“I have a little sister,” Clarke says somewhere in thebackground.

Abby wants to collapse. Wants to sleep for a very long time.She focuses on her body, on all the things she knows. There is still pain, waitingfor the afterbirth to come out. She suspects she’s torn but not as badly as itcould’ve been, and her breasts ache and at some point soon that too will beuseful, and-

She fades out. Exhaustion is a wonderful thing. She knowsher body will do what it needs to, and she trusts the girls enough, and… shecan’t do this anymore.

When she wakes up, she’s somehow been moved to the cot –which means someone else has seen her questionable condition, great, just whatshe doesn’t need – and she’s in a clean shirt and someone has placed cold clothbetween her legs to help the hurting and-

“You really didn’t know?”

She’s not awake enough for this shit.

Abby turns her head and yep, there is her partner (but howmuch longer can she call him that, she wonders) in a chair someone must’vebrought in, looking at her like he does not know where to start but he has alot of questions. It’s been a while since she’s had to interpret that look, andshe is concerned.

“I didn’t know,” she repeats. “You’ve known me since we werechildren, you know I can justify anything, I thought-“

“Alright.” And now for the scary-calm. That particularversion has evolved over the past year and a half or so, as Marcus has learned howto be more of a person, but she still knows it too well. He’s harder to readthis way, and more dangerous to those around him. “When I found out… I thought…”

“Do you really think I would’ve hidden this from you if I’dknown?”

“I had to ask.”

“I wouldn’t… I just went through hell,” she hisses. “Involuntarily.Again. And I wouldn’t have had to if I’d paid more attention to myself but youknow I don’t-“

“I believe you.”

She’s not sure she believes him right now, but she isstill too exhausted to move so that fight can wait a day or two. “Where is…” Shedoesn’t know the right word. My daughter? Ours? Which of those will hold longer?

“Raven’s looking after her. You needed to rest, and… I canlook after you here, Raven can keep the baby in her workshop except when sheneeds to feed.”

Abby rolls her eyes. Yeah, keep a newborn in the mostdangerous place in the settlement, great idea. On the other hand, Raven’sspace is at least warm. “And you’re…”

“Still processing,” Marcus finishes. “Someone tried to radious but we were a few miles out, and when we got back I didn’t have time tothink before someone shoved what looked like a bundle of towels in my arms and…”

“It is yours. If that was going to be your next question.”

“It wasn’t. But good to know.”

“I just… I ignored everything, and I…”

He reaches out for her hand, and even that feels like toomuch physical contact right now but it’s a nice gesture anyways. “I’m notblaming you.”

“Well that’s new,” she mutters. He’s been decent for a year,she should have more faith, but… “Are you going to stay?”

And now for the look of stunned horror, the wide eyes and haltedbreaths and for a moment she’s broken him. “Am I… how is that a question?!”

“You are aware how many bad choices I’ve made here…”

“You’ve always been a little impulsive,” he counters. “And stubborn.And usually right. And I don’t know why you think this kind of innocent mistakewould push me away.”

“It’s a screaming liability of a mistake?”

“It’s ours. And I want… if you want…”

“Yeah. You’ve never done this before. You do not realize thehell you’ve just volunteered for.”

“I’m with you. How bad could it be.”

He leans down and kisses her forehead, and the scratch ofhis beard is way too much, and… yeah. They’ll be okay.

#ebf talks to anons #kabby #ebf writes fic

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starkeristheendgame · 4 years

Note

College au prompt where Peter becomes good friends with a new kid on campus named Harry and invites him over one night to study and tony come home to Harry on peters bed while peter takes a shower and thinks the worst. (Peter and tony are roommates btw) and when peter comes out Harry tells peter that tony came in and saw him and stormed out and peter goes out to find him and tony tells him that he thought peter cheated and he was jealous. And they spend the rest of the night curled in Tony’s bed

I hope I did this justice! Thank you sm for the prompt, and I hope that you enjoy it :’)

TW: Miscommunication | Suspected (no actual) cheating | Moderate angst | Slight hurt

The figure sprawled on their bed is immediately evident as not Peter. Tony stops short in the doorway, taking in the sight of the boy draped over the bed like he owns it.

At a passing glance or at a distance he could pass for Peter, but closer inspection tells all the differences. This boy’s hair is lighter, a little straighter. His jaw is sharper, mouth wider, eye brighter. Classically and softly handsome, not too dissimilar to Peter.

He’s shirtless, head lifting from the pillow in surprise.

“Oh! Peter didn’t tell me he was expecting-”

“I’m sure he didn’t,” Tony cut in icily, ears picking up on the sound of the shower. Peter was one of those ‘must shower after sex’ kinds of people, though now and then he could be persuaded to snuggle for a while before the tackiness and drying sweat became unbearable.

It was crystal, nuclear level clear what was going on here. He didn’t need more than two braincells to rub together to take in the scene and know what he’d walked in on.

“Uh.” The other boy looked confused and a little apprehensive, brows furrowing as he pushed himself up onto his elbows. Glancing at the closed doorway of the en -uite. Tony forced himself to breathe out, forced himself to move under the leaden, cold weight of his heart.

He’d thought Peter was different.

Peter had promised him he was different. Had promised his friendliness with everyone was truly just who he was, that the only person who had his heart and body was Tony. He’d been a fucking fool for believing it, clearly.

Peter was beautiful, vibrant, insatiable. How could Tony have any singular claim to that? How could Tony have thought he could ever hoard such a treasure?

He turns away.

Barely hears the slamming of the door over the roaring in his ears. He felt sick, nausea and hurt twisting an writhing in his stomach like a live beast, ugly and wounded.

He kept replaying every moment with Peter over and over in his mind, the last texts they’d sent to each other, the last kiss, the first time they fucked, every time Peter had promised Tony, there’s nobody else but you.

He laughed, because if he didn’t laugh he’d cry. How fucking stupid had he been? Nobody was as sweet as Peter, as wholesome without using it as a smokescreen.

Peter had well and truly reeled him in, hook, line and sinker. He clutched his car keys in his palm so tightly that it began to hurt, metal ridges biting into his skin as he stalked across the campus towards the residential parking lot.

Ripping open the door to his car, he’d barely got inside and shut the door when it was yanked open again, a breathless Peter almost falling straight into his lap. Tony jerked in his seat, heart squeezing so painfully at the sight of Peter’s wild, dark eyes that for a moment he almost forgot about the rest of the hurt.

Peter was laughing.

“You’re an idiot, Anthony Edward Stark,” Peter managed, hair sopping wet and wearing nothing but a sodden shirt, boxers and unlaced sneakers. Fury coiled low and vicious in his stomach as Peter crawled into his lap, panting and red cheeked.

“Get the fuck off me, Parker,” he snapped once he’d come back to himself, once he’d reminded himself of why Peter was wet. Hurt flashed across Peter’s pretty face, lips parted and the light in his eyes flickering like a candle in the breeze for a moment, before cold hands clutched at his jaw, forcing his head up where he ducked it away, teeth grinding.

“Tony. Please, I know what you’re thinking, but if the last few months have meant anything, give me a moment to explain.”

He wanted to laugh, to shove Peter off him, but he couldn’t move. It was a cruel card to be dealt; if the last few months have meant anything to you.

They’d meant everything to him.

“You’ve got ten fucking seconds before I tip you ass-first into the dirt and leave you there,” he choked out, wrenching his jaw from Peter’s gentle touch as tears blurred his vision. He kept his hands fisted at his sides, terrified that if he let himself touch, he’d find himself either hurting or holding.

Peter let out a breath above him, teeth catching his lower lip for a moment. He was still awkwardly hunched over, crammed into the bare space between Tony and the steering wheel.

“Tony, baby. I know what it looked like, okay? But I can promise you, I swear to you, it wasn’t that. I meant to call you on my back to the dorm, but we ran into Steve and I forgot. That boy? That’s Harry.”

Harry.

The name was familiar, immediately so. It dredged up past conversations of the new kid in Peter’s chemistry class, friendly and nerdy, crushing hard on Peter’s friend MJ.

Something must’ve crossed his face because Peter looked encouraged, gripping at his shirt like Tony might still throw him out of the car at any moment.

“He’s my study partner for this assignment, Tones. That’s it, nothing else, I swear. He came to our dorm because we’re working on a project - I can even show you, and I can show you the lecturer’s list that shows us as partners. I had a glass of orange juice and we were trying to juggle the folders and the laptop and he knocked it from my hand.”

Peter looked like he might cry now, curling towards Tony like a flower towards the sun.

“Baby, please. We tipped the orange juice, and because we were sat back it went all over us. His shirt got soaked and it was in my hair, Tony, and I told him he could take one of my shirts while I showered but he just said he didn’t want to go poking around without me there and, and--” Peter’s words trailed off on a hitch, his eyes glossy as he pawed at Tony helplessly.

“Please. I could never do that, Tony. Not to you, not to anyone.”

And fuck, but if Tony wasn’t a weak man. Even as ridiculous as the story sounded he could feel himself thawing, drawn to Peter like they were tied by red string.

He could feel the hurt and the anger draining away, the jealousy at the mental image of two pretty, slender boys together fading like an old memory. Peter was staring down at him imploringly, braced like he still expected to be hit, wearing Tony’s shirt and Tony…

He let out a breath, a sound somewhere between a sob, a laugh and a growl, and dragged Peter down to his chest, sucking in a ragged breath and inhaling the scent of Peter’s coconut body wash.

Peter slumped against him, arms wrapping around his head as best he could in the cramped space, body shuddering with his own exhale.

“You’re being honest?” he whispered into the damp fabric pressed against his face and Peter shifted, reached for him against to tip his head back so they were looking each other in the eye.

“Always, Tones. Fuck, when Harry said you sounded pissed, and you’d walked away, I... I thought you were leaving me. I can’t... I know how it looked, and I’m so sorry. I should have-”

Peter’s words are cut off by Tony catching his mouth, licking into him and kissing him with enough force to bruise, pressing closer and closer until the car horn startled them both.

“We-- We should go back. I told Harry to wait while I went after you,” Peter murmured, biting at his lip, hands roaming Tony restlessly like he was afraid this was just a dream and he was about to open his eyes to Tony having driven away.

He doesn’t even know where he’d have gone. Home was a set of sparkling brown eyes and a laugh that made his heart soft and warm.

He let Peter pull him from the car, the cool air hitting the wetness on his chest and thighs from where Peter had leapt straight out of the shower, straight into clothes and straight onto him. Peter refused to let go of his hand, glancing up at him on every other step like he might change his mind.

He counted his breaths, counted his steps, tried to blink away the sight of Harry sprawled half naked on the bed, the way his gut had risen up like a tidal wave. If Peter said they hadn’t done anything…

He had no choice but to trust him.

Harry was standing upright when Peter pushed the door open, looking across at them warily like Peter had brought Tony back just to let him lay into him.

Tony drank in the sight of him again, the vague nervous-horrified expression, the empty cup on the desk behind him and the one important factor he hadn’t noticed before - the fact that one pillow case and the top cover of the bedding had been removed.

“I swear, nothing ha-” Harry begun, and Tony held up a hand, squeezing Peter’s with his other. Harry’s jaw snapped shut and his expression pinched, like he was bracing himself.

“If Peter says nothing happened...Then nothing happened,” Tony breathed out, glancing to the side at the sunny, joyful expression that Peter levelled him with. He offered a tiny, weak smile in response, still too wrung out to really comprehend the entire situation.

He still felt vaguely sick and he could feel a headache brewing behind his temples, but relief shook through him like an earthquake.

“That’s really good relationship trust right there,” Harry huffed out, wringing the hem of one of Peter’s shirts. Peter must’ve given it to him before running out.

“But also, for future reference, I’m straight. Not that Peter’s ugly! Just... Lacking. In what I like,” Harry clarified, shooting Peter an apologetic glance when the boy made a sound like he might actually be dying.

“Great?” Tony replied in puzzlement, brows lifting.

As it turns out, Harry was actually not such a bad guy. He’d recently transferred from Canada and had met Peter through their Chemistry class. He looked horrified when Tony apologised for getting the wrong idea, shaking it off with his own apology for how it looked, for not thinking about what Peter’s boyfriend might presume upon walking in.

Peter hugged Harry before he left, and Tony shook his hand, gritting out a heartfelt but reluctant sentiment that he was happy Harry had a friend in Peter, and that he hoped this hadn’t put Harry off hanging out with Peter or Tony in the future.

No sooner had he shut the door did he find a set of hands tugging at his hips, pulling him backwards until he bumped into a warm, solid body and they both toppled, landing on the bed together, entangled.

“You know I’d never cheat on you, right?” Peter mumbled against the back of his neck, arms wrapped around him. Tony gave a soft sound and shifted, rolling them so they were laying side by side now, playing little spoon as Peter wormed closer.

He’d dried off in the time they’d sat talking to Harry, but his fingertips were still cool as he slid them under Tony’s shirt collar.

“I know,” he replied gently, holding onto Peter’s arms with one hand, dropping the other to his thigh where he rubbed slow, soothing circles.

They lay there together for a while on the unmade bed, Peter breathing warm puffs of air against the back of his neck and Tony losing himself in the motion of sliding his thumb along the side of Peter’s wrist until the latter’s stomach grumbled loudly.

They reluctantly hauled themselves up and made ramen, remade the bed, then fell straight back into it. Peter wrapped himself back up around Tony as they settled, fingers entwined and the room around them quiet, content.

“Invite him back over on Friday,” Tony murmured as Peter tucked his head under his chin.

“Really?” Peter sounded dubious.

“Mm. We can invite the others too if you want, but I don’t want to scare away your new, straight friend.”

“And you won’t get jealous?” he could feel Peter’s smile against his shoulder.

“Mm, no,” he replied, tucking Peter closer. “Because before he gets here, I’m going to fuck you so full of cum it’ll be dripping out of your for hours, reminding you who you belong with.”

#fanfic #starker #starker fanfiction #starker fanfic #ironspider #ironspider fanfiction #ironspider fanfic #tony stark/peter parker #peter parker/tony stark #tony stark x peter parker #peter parker x tony stark #starker: angst #starker: (not) cheating #starker: hurt/comfort #starker: hurt an comfort #starker: established relationship #starker: college au #starker: alternate universe #sie fics

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kalinawtokilig · 3 years

Text

I’m Here til the Last Tear

{Yamaguchi Tadashi x Genderneutral! Reader}

((I hope I didn’t make Tsukishima in my last post ooc ;-; I also hope I don’t make Yamaguchi babie ooc either,,,,,,,))

Guide-

(Y/N) = Your name

(E/N) = Ex’s name

Summary:

You finally were able to leave your S/O from being in a toxic relationship since your first year. Now that you’re in the midst of your second year, which is the worst, considering midterms are closing in and your dear friend, Yamaguchi’s practices are ending later than usual, you lay in Yamaguchi’s bed, hugging his pillow whilst waiting for him to get home. Thankfully, his mother let you in, the woman loving you so dearly for being one of Tadashi’s greatest best friends. When he gets home ready to take a nice shower, his mother pops in from the kitchen saying you’re upstairs.

“Tadashi, sweetpea, (Y/N) is up in your room.” She says shining a bowl with a rag.

The teen raises a brow at this. You haven’t been coming to his place recently and he found it surprising that you were able to visit this time. Since you having an S/O would take up some of your time, he completely understood, yet still felt a bit low when you couldn’t see him as much as you guys hung out before.

“Are they okay?” He asks, kicking off his shoes and gingerly shoving them to the side of the door.

His mother had a frown on her face, “No, I don’t think so. They seemed, what’s the word?” She pondered for a moment and she sighed sadly, “They looked heartbroken.”

Yamaguchi wasted no time on climbing up the stairs and heading straight to his room. Opening the door, he was met with darkness, flipping the light switch, he saw you groan into his pillow and your hand searching for his blanket to cover your eyes.

“Sorry, sorry!” He apologizes quickly, going to his desk and clicking the switch of the lamp on his desk and turning off the main switch. He looks over his bed, seeing your figure in fetus position. “(Y/N)?” He calls out.

You say nothing, biting your lip to prevent the small cries of sadness leaving you, you instead let out a sniffle. Yamaguchi began to grow more concerned, gently pulling off his covers and placing a gently hand on your head, his fingers massaging your scalp that it slowly made you calmer. He kneels by his bed and continues to massage. “Do you want to talk about it?” He asks quietly.

It takes you a few minutes to talk, as he was ever so patient with you to collect the scattered sentences that were in your head.

“(E/N)...W-We broke up.” You sniffled, hugging the pillow tighter, already covered in your tears and snot meanwhile wrinkles from the grabbing the pillow tightly from trying not to scream in frustration. “It was the worst possible moment too, they always do something in the wrong time, wrong place. It was so embarrassing, Tadashi! Right after school, in front of the whole soccer team! Ugh!” You began to hug the pillow even tighter, shoulders shaking from the humiliation and anger. “And I’m so stressed for studying for midterms! (E/N) has my notes and didn’t even give it back and I,” You start to break down all over again, “I-I need them to p-pass! Yachi-chan helped me compose those notes, and-and I need to pass cause if I don’t pass then I even fail at that!”

“You already failed?” Yamaguchi lays his hand over your shoulder, giving it a tight, assuring squeeze.

“I failed at keeping relationships, I fail at realizing they were so toxic to me, I fail at trying to study and being responsible,” You turn to him, his heart aching to see you so tired and exhausted, mentally and emotionally, eyes puffy and face stained with tears, “I failed at noticing that I was being a bad friend to you, Tadashi.”

His brows rose up, “When were you ever a bad friend to me, (Y/N)? I don’t recall a time you ever done me wrong.” He pushes a baby hair away from your face, to see you more clearly.

“Because of (E/N) and me being such a pushover, I didn’t notice that we weren’t hanging out as much anymore. I haven’t been there for you and I’m really sorry for that.” Your voice cracks in the middle of the sentence, hiccuping a bit as you continue to weep.

“(Y/N), I understand that you were in a relationship and it does take up your time, but I couldn’t control what were to happen. I did miss you, but I understood that you were trying to keep yourself happy and I didn’t want to be in the way of that. But now as I look at it, (E/N) didn’t make you happy, and when I found out, I didn’t know how or what to do, I’d hate to be the reason that I destroyed your relationship on an assumption. And, to let you know, I’m glad you’re here now and decided to trust me telling me this. I’m happy ” Yamaguchi smiles, “I’m really proud of you for trusting me and coming to me about this.”

Your bottom lip wobbles a bit and you attack him, immediately wrapping your arms around his neck, pushing him back as he lets out a cute yelp, instinctively cradling your body as you both fell onto the floor. You start to cry, hugging him closer and shoulders shaking as he runs his fingers through your hair, ruffling it as he speaks quietly the sweetest and comforting words that continued to make you sob. Even after twenty minutes, Yamaguchi continues to hold your waist tight close to him, leaning his cheek against your temple as your cries became minimal, resolving to sniffling and the hold on your friend slacked.

“You okay now, crybaby?” He teases.

“M’shut up, Tadashi.” You muttered, leaning back to see his face.

The freckles decorating his face were always so pretty, and. his hair became a bit longer, resulting to be pulled into a ponytail.

With one hand he cupped your cheek, a stray tear escaping from your eye when you blinked slowly.

Yamaguchi’s eyes sparkle, seeing you smile a bit, the warmth of blooming flowers tickle his chest, he rubbed away the tear and carefully knocked his forehead against yours, staring into your puffy, red-rimmed eyes. Your eyes were always so genuine, so true and lovely to him, “I’ll always be here, until every last tear you cry is gone.”

#yamaguchi x reader #yamaguchi x y/n #yamaguchi x you #haikyu x reader

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sinkix · 4 years

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《What your fav Haikyuu!! Character says about you│Nekoma Edition》

Yo-hoo! Here’s another part to this potential(?) series! I hope you enjoy the possible call-outs in some of these lmao. Writers block been kicking my ass recently but I had a lot of fun writing these. Enjoy <3

You can find the Karasuno ver. here

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Kuroo:

Have a hand fetish and will not say no to choking.

Daddy kink™

Will not accept anything below 6 inches.

More of a dog person but would love to own a black cat.

You drool over tattoos.

Your grades are mostly B’s but you know in your heart you deserve that A, and tbh you probably do. Chase ur goals bby.

Halloween is likely your favourite holiday.

You have to resist not to carve a dick into the pumpkin EvEry GodDAmN YeAr.

You either study for 6 hours consecutively or cannot study at all and you get very frustrated at this.

Have the potential to be a good leader and command the room but probably don’t put it to use as much as you should.

Your playlist parkours from sad 3am crying into your pillow songs to aggressive punk music you could rob a store to.

You like bad boys who hang around bars and look like they would put out a cigarette on your forearm and call you a slut. Just stating facts sweaty xoxo.

Either dress very feminine and girly with a ‘smol girl uwu’ aesthetic or a hardass punk who would kick your ass for a can of beer no in between and tbh both are equally hot.

You’re a big softie at heart either way and just want to be held and told everything will be okay.

Ur a hoe for when people stroke your hair or caress your chin it’s your ultimate weakness.

Watched Rick & Morty.

Twice.

Sleeves rolled up veiny forearms and donning a silver watch are your muse and something you fantasise about frequently.

Most of your memes are shitty top text bottom texts that are somehow funny and I don’t understand why lmao.

You call someone ‘bro’ even if it’s someone you’re immensely attracted to.

Did someone say ties? No it’s just ur dirty ass thoughts thinking about that hot business dudes attire from across the street and how you wish they were tied around ur wrists.

Probably had a crush on Jeff the Killer as a tween and are relentlessly haunted by your old Wattpad library.

Tbh any dark-haired dude with bedhead that screams rugged and probably not good for you is something that draws you like a moth to a flame.

You often question why every person you’ve fallen for has been a Scorpio and curse that tendency of yours.

Dw man they’re hot so I feel u.

Kenma:

Went through a ‘I’m not like other __’ phase and it’s something that you think about a lot and wish you didn’t.

Watched dan & phil as a kid.

Any mention of Pokemon has you turning into a rabid beast you get way too excited.

It’s cute though dw bby.

Pretty antisocial but interesting to talk to.

Your family often question how you’re able to sleep in till 3pm and judge you heavily for it.

Nocturnal night owl gang rise up.

Frequently have bags under your eyes but somehow manage to pull it off.

Listen to ASMR on the down-low and will never admit it to a single soul.

Frequently go on BL binges and have many related book marks.

You pray that someone will never find your laptop bc holy fuck the amount of smut on that.

You wear scarves & beanies even when it isn’t that cold outside.

100% went through a scene hair phase/attempted to.

You dye your hair a lot or REALLY want to.

You have a voice kink low-key so anyone with a pleasant/soothing sounding voice just gets u goin’.

Cats are your favourite animal and you either do or want to own several.

Would name them after video game/anime characters u fuckin nerd lol.

Speaking of cats ,you fantasise heavily about cat-boys and have a folder dedicated to them.

Oversized hoodies are your vibe and always ball the sleeve hems in your fist as a comfort mechanism.

Shopping centres are your worst nightmare and trigger your claustrophobia or social anxiety and honestly I feel that spiritually.

Have a cute sticky note collection.

You like a lot of music consisting of guitar and slow/soothing beats.

You also fw EDM/ techno on occasions.

Honestly wouldn’t wanna anger you since you have a seething temper when pushed far enough.

It’s the kinda temper that’s eerily quiet but no less terrifying, like the other person can tell you are graphically plotting their demise.

You love sleeping to the sound of rainfall and often play those nature ambience videos while you sleep.

Never tidy your sheets and it’s just a big scrunched up heap of fabric in the centre of your mattress most of the time.

Make your fucking bed.

Lev:

Your ships are chaotic and shamelessly controversial.

Would do something just for the sake of creating mayhem lmao.

You were the fucker who stuck their chewing gum under the desk, I see you.

Your brain never stops whirring it’s a constant hurricane of crackhead energy and you have no idea how to turn it off.

Would eat a stick of pencil lead for $2

You don’t help your situation with the amount of coffee/energy drinks you consume.

The class clown who cries themselves to sleep.

Such a wholesome dumbass but somehow kinda intimidating???

Even if you’re not confident you can do something you’ll try anyway and honestly I respect that about you.

You !! use!!! a lot??!! of!! random punctuation!!! so you always??!?!? seem!!111!! excited!!!!!11!?

Every time you’ve ever tried to make a sandcastle it has failed.

You tried to eat the sand once but we don’t talk bout that.

You would also pick up slugs and snails and chase your friends around with them.

Can never tell whether people are laughing with you or at you and while you don’t let it show it high-key bothers you when you’re laying alone in your room at night.

Not one to hold grudges, you carry a ‘shit happens’ mentality which is v good but it sometimes leads to people taking advantage of it or walking all over you.

Your meme collection is both questionable and horrifying.

Like how many cursed images and heavily distorted pictures does one person need.

Never organise the files on your PC/laptop so it looks like a complete dumpster fire.

The one at sleepovers who persistently woke everyone else up with their snickering and refusal to sleep till dawn.

For the love of Asahi charge your damn phone.

I see that red bar and ‘12%’

Charge it now.

Bought a plant one time, gave it a name and talked to it frequently.

It died not long after bc u forgot to fucking water it.

No one better ever make you responsible for a pet.

Type of person that when someone asks you to tag along on an endeavour no matter how stupid it is you will agree.

2am skydiving in france? hell yeah.

Midnight shopping spree and spending over half your pay check? count you in.

Exploring an abandoned hospital and performing an Ouija board to summon the demons of hell? you’re damn right you’ll be there.

I hope you have a mum friend by your side bc if not how are you still alive.

You sometimes put the milk in before the cereal and it’s something I’ll never forgive you for.

Yaku:

Very responsible and usually make the right decisions.

You do have moments where you act like a complete dumbass though.

Like u go from 50 year old to 5 year old in the blink of an eye.

A hopeless romantic but it’s a side you don’t often reveal.

Prefer strawberry milk over any other flavour.

You’re the type of person to shower twice a day w/o fail.

Where that stank smell coming from? Not you clearly bc your skin is basically 90% The Body Shop’s rose scented soap at this point.

You get stomach aches a lot and you can’t figure out why.

Probably an allergy to everyone’s bs.

Really good at dirty talk even though you don’t seem the type so people are always taken aback.

You have to be really in the mood though otherwise it falls flatter than Oikawa’s ass, use your skill wisely.

You often call people clowns when you know you’re secretly the biggest one going.

Honk honk, hoe.

You send messages in one paragraph rather than multiple texts unless you are REALLY excited.

People underestimate you at times then are shocked when they realise you are capable of being a fire-breathing dragon from the flaming pits of hell.

You like spicy chicken wings.

Such a petty little shit at times lmao.

Enjoy the view from the top of mountains so you either hike a lot or really want to.

Way more of a cat person since it’s just much more convenient for you.

Usually pretty cheerful or calm and people are drawn to your stable/friendly aura.

Went through a phase of drinking mountain dew and your body still feels the awful effects

Fav element is probably air.

You’re 5′6″ or shorter.

Box dyed your hair brunette several times and can never get the pigment out to this day.

Yamamoto:

Whenever you smell something weird in the room you always internally freak out and think it’s you.

Head-butting walls is your hobby.

You fell off your bike as a kid and still have the scar on your knee.

Probably have tons of ear piercings.

Would tame a pigeon and call it Larry.

You get frequent nosebleeds and can never tell if it’s a medical issue or your extreme simping for fictional men/women.

Hopefully the latter.

You constantly chew your pen/pencil in class so you never lend them to anyone out of embarrassment.

I really hope no one ever lends you stationery bc 30 minutes later it’ll look like it was mauled by a rabid rottweiler.

You really want to own a dog and would call it something intimidating like Banshee or Diablo.

You bleached your hair that one time and it almost fell out so now you’re forced to stay at least 10 metres away from all at-home hair dye products.

You tried your best though bby so A for effort, even if it did look like dehydrated ramen afterwards.

Your grades are mostly C’s and you’re barely passing bc you just don’t care about your classes lol.

Still though you’re actually pretty smart so put it to good use you lazy oaf, channel that crackhead energy into something good.

Your phone screen has several cracks in it from when you dropped it on the bathroom floor while shitting and you’ll always be angry at yourself for that.

You have some really weird quirks but you make it work.

Actually a v chill person but you just kinda attract chaos/trouble wherever you go.

Carry a lighter with you even when you don’t need one.

Shy texter but once people see you irl you are the complete opposite, you just dk how to text without coming across as awkward.

One of those people that’s unintentionally funny and always get confused when you make someone laugh but it makes you feel good regardless.

Have a cool necklace collection and own at least one dog-tag/army style pendant.

Should really consider buying a rabbit you would look so cute w/ one.

You have really nice legs and people should compliment them more.

Either severely dehydrated or overly hydrated to the point you are peeing pure tap water so for the love of god please learn moderation, your kidneys and bladder will thank you for it.

Inuoka:

Your favourite character would be Hinata but you like people taller than you so your love for Inuoka spawned.

You really enjoy using the double spiderman meme.

Cannot correctly verbalise your feelings without creating a minimum of 10 misunderstandings but once people are used to it it’s kinda endearing.

You usually wake up in a good mood and people can never fathom how or why.

You either stay up till 5am or you wake up at that time no in between.

A morning person bc you love the sunrise.

Change your lock-screen very regularly bc you get bored.

Your humour consists solely of poop jokes.

When you don’t understand a joke you laugh anyway and hope they don’t ask you if you actually get it.

Happened once and you’re still traumatised from the cricket silence that fell upon the room.

Really like the taste of lemonade and drink it more often than you should.

Often think about what you would look like with a shaved head.

More of an extrovert but def have occasional introvert tendencies where you wanna be left tf alone.

Never allowed to pick up anything in stores bc the last time you did you sniffed a scented candle and it shattered to the floor.

Constantly have spontaneous ideas of what to change about your appearance.

You use a lot of hand gestures like thumbs up and peace signs.

‘Dude’ and ‘lmao’ is 90% of your vernacular.

Your nails are a disaster, some are down to the nub while others are pretty grown out bc you only bite a select few please sort it out.

Look really good in red.

Your laptop has way too many tabs open from random google searches of words you didn’t know the meaning to.

You read a lot of books but for like 10 minutes at a time bc you have the attention span of a walnut.

You are the type of person to nuke your AO3 tags with things that aren’t even relevant purely bc you found them funny.

Your Tumblr drafts are a nightmare, you have like 100+ in the works yet keep starting new projects why do you do this.

Happy sunshine but you have a LOT of mood swings like that shit comes out of nowhere.

Cry pretty often but no one ever sees and it’s usually because of said mood swings.

You always smile and pick yourself up again though which I commend you for.

TYPES IN CAPITALS IN SITUATIONS THAT DO NOT REQUIRE SAID PUNCTUATION SO YOU SEEM LIKE YOU’RE YELLING ALL THE TIME.

#hq #haikyuu #nekoma #yaku morisuke #lev haiba #yamamoto taketora #kuroo testuro #kenma kozume #inuoka sou

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