#reade
Text
Nexus
Lif x Summoner, Lif x reader / Implied platonic Alfonse x Summoner, Alfonse x reader.
NSFW from first sentence.
Lif and the summoner find each other thanks to an unlikely person and Lif's questionable decisions.
Also a look into Embla's hidden night life and secrets. Set before and after the siege to Veronica's castle in book 5.
May do a second part. I know I should be working on the other ones but I swear I had this one sitting there for like a year and I was debating whether to post it of not. Hope you like it.
Nexus
-Say my name! Say it!- The husky voice says on the woman’s ears. He is taking her from behind. It comes muffled by the white and gold embroidered hood that covers all of her head and most of the face. She can hardly hear it over her own moans too. His trusts are relentless and rhythmic, his length reaching deeper than anyone she had ever been with. Between moans she manages to breath and utter the name he desperately wanted to hear.
-Alfonse! Alfonse! Ahh!!
-NO! Not Alfonse! Say it!
Not confused by the request, the woman remembers the other times he had done this to her. She switches to his other name.
-Lif! Oh God Lif! I… please!!- She pleads even though there is no god she believes in. This is what he wants and so she will deliver.
A few more rough trusts on his part and she reaches her limit. When he feels her release, he takes his final trust then she feels him withdraw. After a short moment he kisses the top of her hooded head. She stays unmoving and knowing full well why he does not kiss her instead.
- _______….My ______. My dear summoner.- She hears him come in his hand like all the other times he has done this. She does not dare to look back at his ruby red eyes. She feels drained of all energy after such a energetic session, but she stays put. A moment later she feels him lean on her back and rest his head on hers. She hears him whisper something and can make out some words he repeats like a prayer.
-Soon my love….I will return you to me. Soon…- He sighs, a sigh she knows he does not need and remembering it, makes her shiver. This must have brought him back to reality, because he raises himself from the bed and she hears him start to dress up.
-Take it off.- His monotone voice reach her still hazy mind. She knows what he meant and she complies. She starts taking off the hooded coat and turning a little so she can do it faster and catches a glimpse of him standing near the door.
-Turn around. I don’t want to see your face. -He says in a rough voice. Such a different tone that some moments ago. She takes the garment off. She was wearing a night gown underneath without underwear.
-I…You can come inside me…I am ready for this…I assure y…
-Do I not pay you enough for your silence?
-Yes… I just wanted to serve you better.
-Then keep quiet. I will be back next month…here.- He lets some gold coins fall on her bed. She does not turn around but takes the coins. It is much more than she would do in a month by herself. He takes the coat and folds it neatly to place it inside a travel bag. Done this, he opens the door and leaves without a further word.
The woman starts crying. She is not sure why her heart feels so heavy. The first time he had come to her, he had scared her, but she needed the money. He had made requests and offered a lot of money for it. The following times he had learned a lot about him even if he did not talked to her. He was dead and had been brought back to life it was obvious, but he looked like he had been a very handsome man in life. He was a great lover too. Sometimes he was gentle and loving and sometimes he was rough but not in a bad way.
He loved that woman and she knew who that woman was. She was the summoner of the Askran Kingdom. She wondered then if this warrior was one of the fallen heroes the Summoner used in the war. Her lover perhaps. If that was so, then…it meant he loved her when he was alive and his love endured after death.
And then she understood her feelings. She was sad. Not only for him, who had died loving someone and was probably afraid to bee seen the way he was, but for his summoner as well. Did she even know he still walked the living world? Does she love him back? Did she grieve his death?….Then there was Her… She was here in the Emblian South city of Renar ; a whore not by choice, living this sad life. If only someone would love her the way this man did his Summoner…even if he was dead…
=NO!….Do not even think about this…this is just a job…Soon we will be able to leave the city and my sister will never have to suffer what I have. We will have a house of our own and some cows…And this will be in the past and forgotten… I will forget him…just like he will forget me….but…what about the Summoner?…=
[line break]
It was almost dawn when she heard the silent footfalls of Lif’s booted feet. Her scarlet eyes did not move from her target. The Emblian Castle so much like her own home stood right in front of her. She stood on the roof of the tallest building in the South City. He was late, but she would not say anything. It was not that she feared his anger. He seldom was cross at her. She knew it was all a facade to keep others at bay and enemies afraid anyway. Besides, he new she disapproved of his monthly escapades. They not only were risky and a waste of time but she considered them … how would she word it? Oh yeah…cheating.
For all the indifference he voiced so loudly against the Summoner, she knew how he felt. He could deny it all he wanted, but he had stolen that jacket from the castle the last time he had entered it to spy on that Summoner…. err The Order of Heroes or so he had said. So if he loved that Summoner so much why visit not only other women but a common whore, only because she had the same height and constitution of the Summoner. Thrasir had never fallen in love, but she knew that if her lover where to do this kind of action she would surely dismember them…and then brake up with them.
- Any news from Zacharias? - He asks avoiding her eyes. She looks sideways at him and does not answer.-Let it go Veronica. - He says tiredly. He had enough with his own disgust and self hatred to be judged by her as well.
-He has not returned yet, but…Loki was telling Veronica there are rumors of war from another realm. The target may be Askr, but she said to be ready just in case. It is just as we were told. We should ask Thorr for more information. - She said as neither of them trusted Loki. Not that they trusted Thorr to begin with but at least the Goddess did not lie for fun.
-Mmm. It may be wise. It also may be a good chance to find out more about the Alfather and his plan. Come, let us go to the base. - Their base being an abandoned country home the Askran Royal Family did not use any more. It was too close to the border and had been partly destroyed. They used the hidden bunker in the basement.
[line break]
- Please help my sister.- Had been Bruno’s plea and it would be answered.
[line break]
-Reginn! Take the left side and let Dagr take the right! Takumi shoot the sniper in the clock tower please! It’s attacking the Emblian front lines! Take Claude with you and scan the other tall buildings! BE CAREFUL! Guinevere back Zelgius up! Micaiah tell the wyvern riders to take each an archer not mounted, to the roofs, when the ninjas give the go ahead. Naesala and Henry… you know what to do.
Naesala looked down to his best friend Henry and lifted him off the ground. Henry gave one of his little laughs. They were in charge of the aerial attack.
Bruno watched you give orders to the heroes behind his golden mask with a small smile, but you knew that deep down; he was very anxious for his sister. He knew she could handle herself, but against Nidavellir, she was untested and so he was afraid. Now that he had his friends by his side; it was an easier burden to carry, and he wished he could count on you to help him on his quest, but the war started by the bad blood of Embla and his fear of harming you all was enough to dispelled those wishes from his mind. Now he was waiting for your instruction on when to strike.
-King Dimitri, Ike lead the front lines. Savior Dimitri, Alm And King Marth will be following with their squads. Bruno Sharena and Alfonse, be ready to go when they make way. Kaze and Saizo will be waiting for you to make your way into the palace unseen.
-You will stay? -Asks Bruno.
-It is better I stay and lead the heroes with Commander Anna.
- I would feel better if you were to come with us. I do not belittle your heroes’ abilities to guard you but… You have been kidnapped before.- Said Bruno with furrowed brows.
-It was all Alfonse’s idea. Besides (M) Byleth, F Dimitri and Grima are here to protect me…just…take care of each others.- Bruno looked at Alfonse and the younger man averted his eyes, blushing a little.
-Alfonse… a word if I may.- Says Bruno. They both retreat a little way away and even though you can’t hear what they are saying you knew what Alfonse was telling him. He was afraid of getting you hurt after being kidnapped and then sent by Commander Anna on a solo mission to fight for days without his consent. Of course you preferred to go with him, but you also did not want to worry him. You knew who would win the argument. Alfonse was stubborn once he made up his mind. Alfonse had also expressed his mistrust of Bruno’s sanity. He was not afraid for himself or Sharena but he could not trust him with you and did not want you to be near him for longer than necessary. He held his friend dearly, but what was happening to him was of great concern to him and he need to take action just in case of him being overpowered by his blood.
-I still do not agree. -Says Bruno looking sideways at his friend, while coming back after a while. - But I trust your judgment. It has been right previous times. - Alfonse’s little scowl dissipated at this remark. Bruno did not know you would be their back up.
- Be careful Summoner. - Was all Bruno said and turned to get ready to leave. Alfonse turned to you and gave you a small smile you returned and winked at him, which made him blush.
- You too guys. Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do!
-Well now I am concerned.- Says Fjorm smiling, with a pink tint to her pale cheeks.
- Wow thanks. Any way, it’s great you are here. Fjorm I am a little concerned for Reginn. She looks…not her usual and well, I don’t blame her for it; but I am afraid she may have an accident or something. I don’t think she is focused.
-I will keep an eye on her if you wish.
- Eir can take you and if Reginn asks just tell her you are back up.- Fjorm nodded and turned to search for Eir.- And Fjorm…have I mentioned how great you are and how grateful I am you are with us? Because You are and I am.- She turns beet red at that.
-Umm…I could hear it more often.- She says bashfully. That woman loves you and ever since Alfonse had had to accept the arranged marriage to his third cousin, she has not left your side. Alfonse does not like it but he can not say much about it.
Kagero lands soundlessly behind you from Beruka’s wyvern and as usual she scares you a bit when she starts talking.
-Summoner. The others give it a “clear”. Kaze and Saizo are waiting for the Prince’s group. - Says Kagero. You thank her and signal Alfonse for them to leave.- Kaze wanted to stay with you and is a bit annoyed he had to stay.
-We’ll see him in a bit anyway.- You tell her while seeing Alfonse retreating back, his white cape being swallowed by the darkness of the night. You offer her a smile after his image is lost. -Come. Let us check how things are going.- You take your spyglass from your coat and take a look at the front lines. They are approaching the castle and while the Order attack the invading army on all fronts and surround them, Prince Alfonse and his team reach the inside by a “secret” entrance, Bruno had told you about. It was actually an old supply entrance no longer used that Bruno used to come and go whenever he came in secret to keep an eye on his sister. It had been sealed and he was the only one who could open it.
-Look at Norne go. She is always so reliable and enthusiastic. Ike is falling behind…I wonder what’s the hold up.- Kagero takes the offered spyglass.
It took you less than half an hour to follow Alfonse. You left the heroes to Anna who was aided by Micaiah and Robin’s capable hands. Soren would have been there too but he had joined Ike in the front lines when he noticed Ike had fallen into a standstill. The advance had flowed as expected after that.
You were half way to rendezvous with Alfonse, making your way to the secret entrance when you hear a a woman half shouting angrily and half crying.
-NO! Don’t you dare touch my sister! She’s just a child! Take my money but leave her alone!!
There were shouting of men as well. Most of them were curses.
You look around a nearby corner despite Fallen Dimitri’s warning of not getting involved and see a woman of about twenty years of age fighting off five Nidavellirian soldiers intent on taking a small girl of about 6 years of age. This enraged you to no end and turning to tell F Dimitri the number of enemies; he nodded that it was not a problem and Kagero takes to the roof of the building to take them from behind or warn you about others. You look around the corner and aim your shot at the nearest soldier. He falls in a flash of light. Confused the rest of the soldiers look around only to be met with a shadow so fast and strong they never even made a sound of alarm.
When you get there you find the woman kicking one of the soldiers even though he’s already out cold…or dead…most probably dead given the wide gaping hole you could now see in his stomach, done by Dimitri’s lance. The rest of the men were in the same shape, even the one you had stunned. Dimitri was looking at the young woman with an arched eyebrow.
-Hey hey! Calm down you are safe now. Did they hurt you?- You ask the woman and her angry face turn towards you about to respond and her eyes widen in surprise. She looks you over and says in a whisper. -_______….- You were surprised by her recognition, since you had really never been to Embla, so this meant she was a member of the army or something.
-You know me? Have we met in battle?- You ask.
-No…I mean…I have just heard about you.- Her red face is still visible even with the low light of the fires set to some buildings or the random torch or lamp on the ransacked street. This place looked like the bad side of town to be honest. -Thank you so much for saving us!
-We need to keep moving.- Says Kagero landing soundlessly behind the woman and child.
-Wait! You are going to enter the castle?- Ask the woman.
-Yes but we came to help, so don’t worry. We are not trying to invade or anything.- You say.
- We should invade them now that they are weak. It would end this stupid war.- Says F Dimitri gruffly.
The woman gave a small smile at that but did not comment.
- Are you taking the back alleys to get to the secret entrance?- She asks again and you nod surprised at her knowledge. She bites her lower lip nervously weighting her next move.
-I guess it is not so secret if you know about it.- Says Dimitri with a searching look on his eyes.Then asks. -Do you work at the palace?
-I have gone and I know things. I know of a faster and safer way to get there. I owe you my life and most importantly, I owe you Vera’s life. She is my dear sister. I need to repay you. Would you trust me to take you to that entrance?
Confident that the your guard were with you and your skills were not too shabby either, You turn to them and agree to follow her. Grima and M Byleth already waiting for you.
The woman who introduced herself as Zorine and asked you to call her Zoe, took you to a building down the street, apparently she had been working there when the attack started and had come to her small rented room to look for her sister as soon as she could go outside. They had waited for the people to flee and were going to a safe spot by the time they were spotted by the enemy soldiers.
The building was a three story tavern that looked like it was a bit rundown on purpose, because when Zoe opened the door you were met with quite a different building. It looked too fancy to be a regular tavern for this side of town. Zoe looked uncomfortable and red.
- Are you a bar maid?- Asks Byleth blankly but polite.
-I thought I smelled something. It stinks of coupling… and vice…- Said Grima in a low voice and wrinkling his nose. Zoe’s face was scarlet eyeing her little sister.
- My sister is a healer for the people who gets hurt in the tavern! Not a maid!- Said the little girl.- Zoe! You said I should never come here!
==Oh Fiddlesticks! Is she a sex worker?==
- Hey Miss Vera. How would you like for my friend Prince Dimitri to carry you while we are inside the tavern and that way you will be safe. Maybe hide your face in his furry cape and that way you will not be scared.- You turn to Dimitri and he is a little stiff but understood your reasons. The girl looks at Dimitri and widens her eyes. You do not blame her, Dimitri is very tall and intimidating. Not a moment later her eyes shine with wonder and she smiles and agrees to it. When he has her safely in his arms she giggles at the fluffiness of the fur cloak. Dimitri reddens. Zoe now sure of her sister’s safety proceeds to show you to the basement of the establishment. While explaining in a low voice so as to hear if there is someone hiding that should not be here.
- This place is a “tavern” for high ranking members of the empire and so they made a tunnel from the castle to the establishment. It is said the late King had a lover here that he wanted no one to know about, but the truth is that the tunnel is very old and has been here probably for centuries. The tunnel connects some other places like the High Temple of Embla and it goes all the way to the mountains and others to the South.
- Ironic but not unexpected.- She looks puzzled at your comment and little laugh. - The temple…Well it connects the most important places right? If the rich people are at any of these places there is always a way to escape safely…but it being a church and a bro…a tavern is a little ironic, but we know rich people’s priorities…at least in my world it is that way. No offence to anyone.
-We don’t have those in Faergus. At least no tunnels from the castle to a tavern that I know of…but we do not need them. There are enough…healers in the castle…- Dimitri says gruffly
- Let us check if it is unlocked. The patrons of the tavern and the owner left through it, but I do not know if they locked it. There is another key in the Owner’s rooms.- The trapdoor to the tunnel was blocked as if someone had hastily piled the most rubbish they could find on top of it. It took you all less than three minutes to unblock and the trapdoor was luckily unlocked. When you get into the tunnel you think the woman and child will get away but she does not.
-You do not know the city like I do and even less the tunnel. I had to come down here to lead costumers away safely or to serve in the castle and since the tunnel forks out you may get lost. I will lead you. The tunnel goes all the way to the entrance prince Bruno may be using to get to the castle. His is the old servant entrance on the East side. I heard they closed it when the war started. Currently only one of the servant entrances remain open… and the tunnel. There is of course another way that leads directly into the castle if you need me to lead you there as well.
-I think that the entrance would be better. We already have a plan on where we will meet. Also I would not like you to be in danger because of us. - You look at her and she is looking at her sister. The girl apparently was so exhausted by what the situation that had fallen asleep on Dimitri’s arms.
- We still need to remain in the city. I need to repay someone, the money I owe them…I can not leave without paying the debt.
-Is that why you are working as a….healer?-
-I do not do it for fun!- She retorts a little too loud and it is amplified by the tunnel’s acoustics. She turns to her sister again, but the girls is soundly asleep.- …I… I apologize…
-No no! Don’t apologize. Also I understood your position from the beginning but I was curious about the reason. You are very young. I’m sorry if I offended you. I have to say I truly respect the workers. Not many people understand the real weight they bear and the extent of the service they provide to society in general but mostly to other women and children.
-What do you mean?- Asks Dimitri.
-You see at court they may do it for free to gain power and other selfish reasons but it is not the same with workers like her who are not here by choice. Some like her are extortioned and others kidnapped. Whatever the reason and situations, they keep people’s lowest of instincts in check. Many of them die because of them and…well…it is in a way a protection for many… it is … a complicated situation.
- You understand! All the people I know look down on us, like we are the vilest and dirtiest of beings.
-I bet you the first ones to judge are the clients.- You comment.
- Yes!… Not all of them, but most of them. There is one client…- She pauses unsure of what to say next.- He is…a little rough around the edges, but he is…he seeks companionship…
-He is in love with you? -you ask.
-No! He is is in love with someone else, but I think he thinks it is a lost cause or a forbidden love…he loves her so much…and I understand why…-She says quietly.-It is thanks to him I have the money to pay off our debt.
-Is that the money you were offering the soldiers? - Asks Byleth.
-Yes.
-Well if he is such a great person he could have just given you the money…You know what…never mind… I am not going to judge any one here…Why do you even have a debt to pay?- You ask.
-My father owned a lot of land close to the border, but when the fire giant came, he burned the villages and lands. We lost all the cattle and the other animals. He had already asked a Lord friend of his for a loan and hoped to sell the cattle to pay him.- She takes a moment to point to the right direction when you come to a fork in the tunnel. The light from your crystal lanterns give off a ghostly blue light that makes her look sick.- When he learned we had lost everything in the fire but the lands, his friend came to seize the lands in payment and wanted even more, so he tried to make my father give him my hand. After some talks, the friend gave him more time, but then the war and the drought prevented us from paying up the debt. Finally last year my father’s friend came and demanded his money and my hand. He took everything we owned and ran us off of our lands and house. My father was not only heartbroken, but also furious. He tried to duel him like a good gentleman does, but his friend killed him before the duel was to take place. He kidnapped me and my sister and when we managed to escape…he sold us to the owner of the tavern. I had until the end of this year to pay off my debt or my sister would join me as a ….healer.
-Son of a bitch! Seriously? Can you tell me the names of those ass…er…really horrible men…-You end the tirade when you see her blinking face starting at you like you had suddenly sprout horns.- They kind of deserve it don’t they though?I mean, I only do it when I am really angry…sorry…- You hear Grima snicker at the back.
-The Prince is not going to like it. - Grima chimes is.
-He is not going to know is he? I got candy! Oh here have some for you and your sister when she wakes up and please forget I cursed. It is very natural do do it where I come from, but being part of the Order, it is a big “No”.
The Woman takes the candy with a surprised face and then gave you a look that you could not interpret, but it looked between bewilderment and endearment.
- I have never met anyone like you Summoner. Thank you. Umm why do you carry candy around to a battlefield?
- For energy bursts and….the truth is because I like to treat the kids in the Order and some of the heroes who like them a lot. Some like cheese or fish but I can’t carry those around.- You hear Byleth and Dimitri laugh silently.- But seriously, tell me more about those creeps. You think we can do something, without repercussions to you?
The talk lasted until you arrived at the tunnel’s exit. Zoe gave you instructions on where to go. She was going to stay inside the tunnel by the entrance to wait out the battle. Dimitri left them his cloak to keep Vera warm and Kagero was instructed to stay with the two. She wholeheartedly agreed to it. Before you took off you noticed Zoe was trying to say something and looked nervous.
- Summoner…there is something you should know…no, don’t worry it is nothing to do with this battle…it is something very important you need to know, but I can’t tell you around them. I know I am not important enough for you to take the time to hear me out, but please it is not about me. It is about you and someone you may know. It is the reason I know who you are. Can you meet me after this?
-Can you not tell me now though?
-I am afraid it would be too long of an explanation and you need to hear all of it.
-Ok. We will return because Dimitri can’t live without his cloak anyway.
-Please be careful Summoner! And thank you!
-We will!
When you leave and before she closes the trapdoor to the tunnel Kagero can hear her whisper and it intrigues her.
-There is someone who would suffer a lot if harm came to you…I do not think he could take loosing you…again.
You joined Alfonse and Bruno even before the time marked and you told Alfonse how helping out the two girls had ended with you finding a safer and faster way. Alfonse was worried at first but seemed to be very happy you were safe. He was very conflicted by the past situations. He did not want you to participate in battles anymore than necessary, but could not function well if he could not keep an eye on you or was far from you. Your kidnapping had left a scar unwilling to heal and he wondered what would happen if something more final would befall you…would he be able to get past it? Would he end up turning into someone like Lif? Of course it would not be entirely that way. It had taken the trauma of losing every loved one Alfonse had held dear, but also his entire Kingdom dying as well; to turn him into Lif. Nothing could compare to that pain when you had abandonment issues in the first place and Alfonse had more than enough of those.
The plans went better than expected. Your group came inside first and you were able to get to where Princess Veronica and her ward were keeping the rest of the court safe. She was seemingly not as happy to see you all as much as she was to see her brother alive and well, but it was understandable, even a little funny. Soon enough Reginn, her group and Fjorm came to your side to fight as well. As in per the plan Ike and Marth had opened a way for her to get inside.
When the battle was over it was almost dawn. It had taken almost ten hours to run them off the palace and the battle had gone well into midday for them to leave the city in a call of retreat.
When everything was done Reginn collapsed. She had a high fever caused by the stress and how hard she had driven her mental and physical limits. Princess Veronica had begrudgingly allowed you all to stay in the palace until Reginn got better with a sour expression, until you reminded her of how she got to spend more time with her brother. She had indeed proceeded to go talk to her brother and try to take him away from your group. You felt a little bad for Alfonse, who would have wanted to spend time with his old friend, but it was understandable that the time he had should be spend with his sister. Who knows how long he had been away from home this time.
Finally after resting a bit and eating a hasty breakfast; F Dimitri had come to let you know he was going back for his cloak and wanted to know if you were going to meet up with the woman. You took some food with you and followed Dimitri.
Alfonse not wanting to let you out of his sight on enemy territory followed behind with Savior King Dimitri Byleth and Grima. Together you all had explained to him how everything had taken place in all detail, since last night you had only told him the basics and did not want Bruno to know you had knowledge of the secret tunnel. He had been a little worried when you told him about how you all had gone to help the two girls, but agreed that it had been a blessing as well. He was more than angry when you explained her situation and and reasons for them. He had already planed on giving the woman something for helping you out, but listening to your story he backtracked and decided to give the two girls a bag of gold, so that when they left the city they could have a place to stay. He also came with the idea that they should come with them to Askr in case someone found out they had lead them through the secret tunnel and incarcerated them for treason.
-I wonder what she wants to talk to you about. She said it was about you and someone you know?- Asked Alfonse pensively.
-Yes and I thought right away about Bruno. I mean who else can she know that I know except him and Princess Veronica…or Loki…
-Loki…That is troublesome. I was surprised she was not at Veronica’s side.
-Yeah! I mean, I don’t understand why Veronica still lets her be around in the first place! I would never trust her after all the crap she has done…but I guess that if I don’t trust her and she wants to hang around; I would probably want to keep her on close watch as well…
-Keep your friends close and your enemies closer.
-By that logic, she should give us our own room at the palace…oh wait…- You say laughing. Alfonse laughs quietly as well. He has gotten used to your silly jokes and strange sense of humor.
Finally you get to the place where Kagero is waiting for you. The battle had been close to the place but no one had found the tunnel.
As soon as Vera saw you; she ran to meet you hugging Dimitri’s fury cloak. She hugged you and thanked you for the candy and then went to give Dimitri his cloak, except she ran into S K Dimitri first. He looked down to her a little startled.
-That’s the wrong Dimitri!- You called out to her smiling- We have four of them!- You tell Zoe who came to stand by your side.- All of them different age, but just as wonderful in every way.- Vera looked around the man and spotted F Dimitri behind and ran to him.
-That is my Prince! Here I took great care of your cape your highness! -And after he took his cloak she hugged him. This made both Dimitri blush.
-Hey Alfonse. This is Lady Zorine who so graciously helped us last night. Zoe this is Prince Alfonse of Askr.- Zoe bristled at the name. Her face blanched and looked like she had seen a ghost when his smiling face turned to you and then to her. His bright deep blue eyes looked at you warmly and when he looked at Zoe; she felt like the ground would come to meet her at any moment. She felt sick. It was HIS face. but different. And that name…how could she forget that name. She knew the prince of Askr was named Alfonse but she had never seen him or even knew how he looked like. What did all of this mean? She was so confused.
-Whoa there. Are you all right? You look like you have seen a ghost!- You ask Zoe. She lowered her face and avoided looking at Alfonse. - I know he looks a little stern but he is a great guy! Alfonse I think you scared her!- You say jokingly but holding Zoe’s arm in case she needed support. You figured it may be because she had not eaten well and the excitement of the day had exhausted her. Alfonse blushed.
-Summoner!- He said flustered, but Zoe could still feel those intelligent eyes watching her. It was like he was trying to find something inside her.
-Oh here, I got you some food and drinks. I bet you are hungry. You may feel better after you eat something.- Byleth then took a satchel he was holding in his back and started taking out food from it.- It may be better if you eat something. I am no healer but I can see what I can do if you are not feeling well.- Said Byleth standing by Zoe’s side with an apple in his hand.
-I…thank you Professor I think I will have a drink and the apple. I am just a little tired…and I have just been hiding. How thoughtless of me. You must be exhausted after such a long fight and here you are worrying about me and my sister.- She can’t help but cry about that.- You really are and angel Summoner ______…and your heroes..
- Prince Alfonse can attest to it being the other way around when it comes to me.
-She does get in trouble quite a lot.-Alfonse says jokingly because he understands you are trying to cheer her up. He smiles warmly but keen eyes analyse the woman.
-I got kidnapped two weeks ago. Gave them all a scare.- You say laughing and Alfonse pulls a face.- It was not my fault tho. I swear!
-What? Who kidnapped you?- She panicked. Had it been HIM? Had she been helping some sick kidnapper’s fantasy?
-Prince Ótr. The brother of the guy that came to attack you and a creepy lady that looks like a possessed doll.-You giggle. Alfonse gives you another look.- Sorry. I am sleep deprived and I find everything funny right now; but I almost crapped my pants at the time.- Zoe can’t help but smile at the statement and she can see the effect you have on Alfonse when you turn to his furrowed face and mouth “Sorry” while taking his hand. His face changes to one of deep fondness and devotion. He loves you, just as much as HIM. And by the look on your face, she knew you loved him just as much…she was having second thoughts about telling you about Lif.
==…What if it is important? What if something happens to her and you could have saved her? I need to tell her.==
You let her eat something and after that Alfonse who is very intrigued by what she has said she knows speaks first.
-Miss Zorine. I thank you for keeping my Summoner and my men safe.- She listened to his words, that sounded in that instant so much like HIS. The way HE said “My Summoner” like there was nothing more precious in the world.- I have heard of your plight and I want to contribute to your cause. Here. I hope this is enough for you to get a place to stay while you journey out of the city.-He hands her the bag of gold. Zoe looks at it and you motion for her to take it.
- I could not…I did not do it for money.
-I know, still I would like you to have it. Do it for your sister. I am sure _____ wants you two to be safe. In fact. We are journeying back to Askr in some days and some of our people will be leaving every day. If for some reason you feel you are not safe in Embla, you can come with us to Askr and take one of the houses that have been vacated by our losses of war. There are many of those throughout the land.
-That is a lot of money. ..-She looks to her sister. She is ashamed to accept it, but she knows she would do whatever it takes for her sister to be safe. She looks at you.- I need to talk to you and if after that, you still feel like I deserve the money. I will take it and maybe the offer too…
== …but not alongside you… I will not be able to look you in the eyes after that…==
With furrowed brows and worry painting his face, Alfonse watched as you made your way to a place far enough not to be heard but close enough to still be safe. He felt dread pool in the pit of his stomach and waited with trepidation for whatever sign of distress you may give. He felt that whatever that woman was about to tell you, was not exactly good and it involved him as well. The way she had looked at him with recognition and fear. He wondered if it was just that the people of Embla generally thought him some horrible person. After all they were enemies. Still he had not met with that show of fear from other people in Embla, and this woman looked like they had met and was afraid of him in particular. He would understand if the woman was a soldier and they had come close in battle, but she was a prostitute. There was no way for them to know each other. Another point was that she also was way too familiar with you. Also like she knew you personally. So what did this mean?
==If only I had thought of bringing Beruka.==
Now that you were away from the rest Zoe looked restlessly around as if trying hard for a way to start. She looked at Alfonse and then asked.
-Summoner. It is not my place, but it is relevant to what I am about to tell you. Are you and the Prince…sweethearts?
You sigh a little asking yourself why this was relevant and remembering the reason why you two could not be together answered.
-No. He is dear to me and…but we can not…
-I see…I do not know yet why this may matter but…I must thank you for coming back to talk to me Summoner. I thought about what I was going to tell you and how to do so, for a long time last night and I do not see an easy way to do it. So I will ask you a question instead. Do you know…is one of your heroes called Lif? - As expected, your eyes full of emotion widen at the name. Your relaxed posture changes and with this change comes the prince’s as well. With a quick side glance to where the Prince is standing near the other heroes she sees his posture now even more tense than when you had left. She noticed he was waiting for bad news but now he looked like he was worried about you.
-Lif? Yes…how? How do you know about him? Have you seen him? Is he well?
-Please my Lady. Listen to me. I will explain how I know of him, but you need to listen to all of it before asking questions or leaving. I swear I will tell you everything and in…detail if you wish it. It all started almost nine months ago. I was very new to the tavern and I was tasked to accompany one of the other women to the entrance to the palace. By now I was familiar with the destination of the tunnel. I was told to leave her and then go get her in the morning…she…was new to this as well and had never gone to the palace. When I was coming back by myself I noticed a light coming from the distant South side of the tunnel. It was the main branch that passes by the tavern and I had to go that same way. The light looked blue and as soon as I got near it, it disappeared, but not the glowing red ones. The red lights were smaller but I saw them perfectly when I covered my lamp. The tunnel is relatively safe since it was made for the upper class , no thieves or ruffians know about it so I thought it had been a client. I had never met a client in the tunnel but I had no idea other people may use it for other reasons, so I called out to him and told him if he needed help getting to the tavern. In no way did I wanted to have a client, but if the owner knew I did not help a client I would be fined and I did not need to pile more debt on my back. He got closer and he was covered from head to toe with a black traveling cloak and the only thing visible were his eyes. He…put a mean looking sword on my throat and asked me who I was and what I was doing in the tunnel. His voice was deep and chilly and I got so scared I thought I was going to faint. I managed to tell him who I was and where I was working. It never crossed my mind that it may be a spy or or something.
- “There is an entrance to a brothel here? I don’t believe you. It is not on the map.”- his eyes narrowed while he spat that at me.
-”It is a little way up from here . I passed it trying to help you to it…You…you did not come for the…service?”- And now I was scared.
-”NO!”- He said almost offended and taking a step back.
-”Oh…please do not kill me. I do not have money on me. I was only told to take a worker to the palace secret entrance!”
-”I don’t want your money.”- He said angrily- “You said you know where this tunnel leads? I will let you go if you help me get around. This map is incomplete and I need it to be accurate.”
-”I yes of course! I will…I can tell the matron I have a client and I will be back. Otherwise they will punish me and fine me…I don’t mind the punishment but…I just …I can’t owe her more…
-”You are a …you work in the brothel then?” I nodded at him. I was so ashamed for some reason after he had the care not to call me a whore…it may seem like a small blessing but it means the world to me you see.” I will pay you what you make in a night for you to help me.When we are done, I will be sure your matron will not punish you.”
-I agreed to this and we took off without reporting back. You see, they don’t care if we do not come back. They will not look for us, but when we do come back, it meas we were not killed and then we need to be punished for loosing them money. I showed him the way to the palace and on the way where the tunnel branched I told him where the different ways led. I asked him if he had no need to write it down but he shock his head.
-”I will remember it.” He said very confident of his memory. It took a long time to walk all the way to the palace and to some of the branches he was interested in. Like the Scholar’s Library. That one was a strange one. I was surprised when he actually asked me if I had ever gone inside it. I replied that I was was not allowed to go inside. I felt like a fool when he said I could enter through the tunnel’s entrance…He stayed there looking at the entrance for a long while. Who knows what he was thinking.. although now that I know you, I understand him a little and he was probably thinking of you.- She paused for a bit then sighted.
-Do you like reading Summoner? Did you spend a lot of time with him reading?-Zoe asks you and you nod yes. Because now you too are remembering the time spent together reading and drinking tea in the library. His favorite place in the palace. She keeps going.
-I was so distracted by this I slipped on a small slimy puddle of water when I shifted my feet and almost broke my head on a stone. He was very fast and held me by the arm.
“Careful ______. Don’t hurt yourself…” It was the first time he called me by that name…by your name. His tone was… so different as well as his voice and when I looked at him questioning myself what was happening I saw him. I had noticed his crimson eyes were not like those some Emblan families have. His were …so bright they seemed to glow, but now that he was close to me and he had let go of his cloak that was covering him entirely, I could see his body. That is when I learned he was not of this world. His eyes widened when he saw my face and saw me looking at him. He let go of me and almost shoved me away…but he took his sword out again and pointed it at me.
”You will tell no one or you die!”
”I will tell no one I swear to you! Please I have a small sister I need to protect!”-I told him. Pleading for my safety. This seemed to do the trick. He lowered his weapon and told me still angry not to look at him again. So I avoided looking at him from then on. -Summoner I do not know how he looked like when you knew him but he…he
-Lif is dead. He was one of the army of the dead . I know how he looks.
-So you knew he was dead…
-It is complicated. I know him from when he was alive and then I saw him dead, I did not recognized him…I lost my memories of him…he disappeared after and I have been looking for him for a long time…wondering if he was still around or if he was lost to me for ever.- You tell her. She nodded and kept going.
-When we entered the establishment he came in with me and gave me my money. He then asked me to tell him where the matron was so he would be sure I was not to be punished. I did what he told me and went home. I suppose he did talk to the matron. She did not punish me and she looked like she had been threatened. She looked at me strangely after that. Then a week after, the matron came to me and told me that I needed to be ready that night. I was going to have a special guest…- Zoe lowered her face in shame.-Summoner…did you two love each other?- Zoe asks.
-Yes…once, long ago…in another life…we were…we made a promise. We had a ceremony with one of the priests of the Divine Dragon Askr in one of the villages we were visiting…but it was never made official.
-Summoner…. I did not know …I was scared and not even scared of him…just scared to have my sister pulled into the work and she merely a child of six! I was told to bathe and be prepared. They gave me the best room and was told that one night every month I would have this guest. No one else was to touch me. He paid enough for the month… The whole month.-She takes a pause when she hears you crying. - Please I am so sorry! Please do not go, you need to hear the rest. I swear on my sister…she is my only treasure …that you…please do not think badly of him…You…you have nothing to fear. I swear!- You nod for her to go on and turn around to motion for the others to stay back. They had rushed to you when they heard you crying. Alfonse looked livid and even more worried than before, but he held back. She sighs and goes on.- When I enter the room he is already there. I was scared but he told me that I can say no to him if I want to. He says he will pay a lot and I just needed to do what he asks of me. One of those things is…he does not wish to see my face, nor hear my voice. He said I was the right height and skin color…I did not know what he meant. He gave me something from a satchel he had and it was a white coat embellished with gold trimmings. He said to wear it, with the hood on and to not speak at all. I found out later he had stolen it from your castle.- She pause while you weep. Her face is downcast, unable to meet yours.
-He did not want me Summoner. He wanted you…from the first time. He never saw my face after. I wore the coat he lent me every time. I talked when he wanted and said what he wanted..the way he wanted…and what he wanted was for you to tell him that you loved him… He loves you so deeply…He loves you still…after death. I am nothing to him, he comes because I barely look like you in the dark…
You start crying harder and hold on to her. It was not her fault and you can’t be angry at him for seeking companionship. She is surprised by this and for a second does not know what to do. She had gotten used to people being repulsed by her, that she had forgotten how it felt to be treated like a human being by other people besides her sister. Zoe started crying too. She had her own reason and seeing you like this had made her let go of the negative feelings that she had been holding back for so long.
-Summoner…He is…not …he is not like the other clients. They only look for pleasure and to fulfil their sick fantasies. They mistreat us and harm us. He only looks for your love and this saved me and my sister. It is thanks to him I have enough money to pay off my debt…but Summoner. There is something else.- You look up to her face.- He also goes by Alfonse…-She looks at the Prince and then back to you. -I know he looks different but his voice when he talks to you is so much like…
-Alfonse…- You look back at him and motion for him to come.
-Are you going to tell him?
-It is …important to him as well.
Alfonse comes walking fast and his confused face looks to you and Zoe questioningly. He can’t figure out why Zoe would know something about you that would make you cry except that Zoe may know someone important to you from the World of steel and… There was a knot in his stomach…
==Did she tell _____ something that may want to make her go back home? What if she wants to leave…Oh Askr no…I could not live without her please!==
- Alfonse…Zoe met Lif in the tunnel.- Alfonse who was looking almost green, widened his eyes at the name. If Zoe had been looking at him she would have noticed the change. It was as if a great weight had been lifted off of him. He still looked worried but it was not the same. Lif…Lif he could deal with…even if it meant…
-Lif! What was he doing? Is he spying on Embla now?
-She doesn’t know. She says he had an old map and he paid her to show him around the tunnel and where it all led. If Thrasir had been with him I would suspect they were maybe spying on Veronica.- Zoe noticed Alfonse was thinking about it. Trying to
figure things out.
-He has been here with another woman he calls Veronica.- Zoe says and is surprised by the both of you turning to look at her so fast.- she is like him, but she does not glow….she …she calls him Alfonse too.- Alfonse stiffens and you look worriedly at him.
-When was this?- He asks when he recovers.
-Three months after the first visit. I wanted to know what he was doing. I followed him after… you know…He met up with her.- Alfonse widens his eyes. This tells him all he needs to hear to understand why you ere crying, the way she would not look at him in the eyes. He reddens and pinches the bridge of his nose.
==First visit?…Great…he’s been consorting with a prostitute of Embla…how low can he get? Although, this may be a blessing in disguise…No. Do not lose focus. I can not make her stay by my side…not the way I need her to be…I can’t deny her happiness just because it is not I making her happy…Even if it kills me inside…The Kingdom is above everything…even me.==
-Alfonse?
- It was probably Veronica who told him about the tunnel…Although…I wonder if Zacharias know about it? Maybe he does not trust us with the knowledge.- Alfonse brows furrow even harder. It pains him to learn his friend do not fully trust him.
-Maybe he doesn’t know about it. Remember he was exiled and well…he spend a lot of time with you in the Order. Even Princess Veronica may not know about it yet.
-You may be right. I may be reading too much into it. Still…if he…they are spying on Embla then they may be spying on us.
- They are.- You say.- He even got into the castle unseen. He has one of my coats.
-What? Why?- He turns to Zoe not wanting to meet her eyes but finding her looking down in shame.- How do you know about it?
-Memento. He uses it on her Alfonse.- He gave you a questioning look. As intelligent as this man was he was sometimes too innocent for his own good.
-Why would he dress her up as a Summoner? It’s not like she can use the sacred weapon.
-Sex Alfonse. He uses it for sex.- You say quietly in his ear.There really was no other way to say it. - He pretends she is…me.- Zoe glances up at him incredulously. Alfonse covers his red face with his hands and turns around. He just wants to go home and lay down to sleep for a week strait and forget about Lif and whatever he has been doing since he disappeared. And why did he not stay dead? He knew what would follow… and he did not like the prospect.
- Great. Just when I thought this could not get more embarrassing. Do you know anything of what they do here?- He asks with a pinched expression.- Besides…
- No. The day I followed them I stopped because I was scared they would notice me and I was very cold. I had only my nightgown on and…but I heard them saying something about her brother. I think she wants to see him. She was scolding him for wasting her time she could spend looking for her brother and he answered that she could just go by herself and let him do what he wanted. He said “ Veronica you are not a baby. You can go by your self without me holding your hand.” -Zoe shifted uneasy.
-Whoa! I’m surprised he still had his…erm… Still ballsy as ever…-You giggle. Alfonse rubs at his face.
- Well she told him “ Who wants to touch your hand? Who knows what you touched with it. If I was the Summoner I would never let you touch me. ”
-Oh…that was worst than a blow to the groin for sure.
-Can we focus on what is important here?- Asks Alfonse impatiently.- Is there something else we need to know?
-Only that he comes tomorrow night and I will not be here anymore if I can help it. I promised him I would not talk and …I am afraid he may retaliate if he knows I told you. I would have took this to my grave but you saved me and my sister and he …you needed to know. I owe you everything. I was concerned your safety Summoner___.- Alfonse is looking at you pleadingly almost asking you to let it go, but he knows he can’t ask this of you and he turns his face away, anger and pain visible in his eyes. Zoe feels conflicted, seeing the pain in both of you and the way Alfonse was behaving it reminded her of Lif once again.
-Are they related?- Zoe asks to no one in articular. Alfonse looks at her alarmed and then to you. You held his gaze a moment and said.
- It is up to you.
-No…you do not owe me an explanation. I was just wondering aloud. It’s just…he is called Alfonse as well and you …pardon my boldness Your Highness, but you look alike and the way you reacted just now and your voice…Also the way you are talking about that woman Veronica as if she was related to Princess Veronica.
Alfonse sighs.-This time no matter what happens and for your own good…You must keep your silence and your thoughts to your self. This situation may get you and your sister killed. Remember that by helping us you are already in trouble. If someone knows about it, they may charge you with treason. This is why we are going to help you get away before someone knows about this. Also for this reason. We will tell you the truth. You too deserve to know. I will tell you sou you know who you are dealing with. Lif…may not show you mercy if if he thinks you are a danger to his plans or desires.- Says Alfonse sternly.Alfonse did not say this lightly. He knew that as much as he wanted to deny it, he was not much unlike Lif. In fact. The thought had flashed in his head that, had he met Zoe first, this situation would not be happening and HIS Summoner would not be thinking of….- Three years ago the Goddess of death Hel came to invade the world of the living. Do you remember?
-Yes. Her army attacked close to the border and we were very scared.
-Lif was one of the the two generals. The other is Thrasir as she wants to be called. They chose the names of the first king and first Queen of Askr and Embla.
-Wait…you are saying this is the same person? I have heard so many tales about him!They say he was ruthless in battle and that he was not afraid of anyone! They say he could kill a whole battalion by himself! At first people thought they were on our side because it was said he wanted to kill …well…you two.The Prince and the Summoner of Askr…but then they attacked us and…It can not be the same man…They say he was a demon.- Zoe says. Her voice trembles as she shakes visibly with fear.
-Perhaps that is what he became for a time…- Said Alfonse.- His real name is Alfonse. Prince Alfonse of Askr.- Zoe gasped.-Thrasir is Princess Veronica of Embla. They both hail from another world that would have been our future. In his world Hel came and attacked and… every person…every living thing died. His world is empty. To bring his people back, Hel told him to bring her the lives of another world like his, so he went back in time to a world in the past where he was still human, to help her kill us. We were able to convince him to help us destroy Hel instead. He did.
-He is the reason we are standing here alive and still talking. He sacrificed himself and his world…- You tell her so that she does not think so horribly of him.
-So…there are two of Your Highness and two Princess Veronicas?- Asks Zoe and then she looks at you.- Are there two of you too?
-No. I died in his world and I was summoned by the sacred weapon to Askr again or…It is complicated. You can say I returned to the body of my earlier self. He does not know this because I lost my memory and I did not know it at the time either. I wanted to tell him the truth but I did not know if he had gone back to the world of the dead this time for real or…he may be looking for a way to bring back our people. It is difficult to explain…it gives me a headache every time I think about it.
-You died for him and for his people…that is why he keeps on saying he will come for you soon. He is looking for a way to save you them? But he does not know you are alive! And he tried to kill you.
-Good times…No. If he had wanted to kill me he would have. He had like three chances and did not do it.
-He…would not have been able to. No matter how twisted he may have become by his pain…He would not hurt you or Sharena.
-How about you, Your Highness? Would he harm you?
-He hates me…- Alfonse said turning his face away. That is all Zoe need to hear to understand.- We need to leave. We have been here in the open too long. It may be dangerous to you and your sister.
After that Zoe took the gold offered and took her sister with her. About to say her farewells. You on the other hand had another idea. Alfonse knew this and although he said nothing about this he left the site followed by S K Dimitri with a sour expression. Kagero offered to guard Zoe and Vera. It was a lot of money she was carrying and you told Zoe your plan.
Preparations were made and Zoe was going to leave the city the morning after with a group of Askr soldiers and other people. F Dimitri had asked to leave with her and the child he wanted to protect. You let him go and sent other heroes home so that it would not look suspicious for the two of them to be around the two girls.
~*~
A barn owl cried in the night and perched on the rail of the balcony of a dark and half ruined manor house. Moments later a hand reaches for the owl and takes a note it bears on its leg. Blue light floods the owl’s vision and irritated by it, it turns its face away into the night, but waits patiently for sign of another mission.
Lif looks at the note and without turning his head say.
- Nidavellir is at Veronica’s South City Castle. Alfonse has come to help Veronica. Bruno is with them.
-We were told not to intervene.
-Will you pass up the chance then? I have business in the city any way. With all the chaos no one will notice us.
There was no answer from Thrasir, only her retreating footsteps echoing in the empty room.
==Business...You only want to see her don’t you?== The voice in his head chimed in in a very good imitation of Thrasir’s own voice and tone. He growled, but inside he knew and hope twisted his stomach in knots.
==She will be there…she will be there! ….and so will Alfonse…==
The pair of red eyes glow brighter and the ghostly breath comes out in venomous vapors. The Owl takes flight scared.
~*~
After a long nap,(well as long as a Summoner of Askr is permitted to nap with everything going on in a war that is)you get up not wanting to wake up Sharena who had fallen asleep in the same bed as you. You think Alfonse is afraid of your safety and had asked Sharena to stay with you. If he did not trusted his friend, he trusted Princess Veronica even less. You go look out of the window. It looks down to the imperial city. It looked somber and dark after such an invasion.
Night had just fallen and the dying light of the sun bathed in purple and reds the sky in the west, but your eyes were set to the South where home lay. You were thinking of everything Zoe had told you and trying to make the best plan to get to talk to Lif and may be convince him to accept your help.
Wise people say that sometimes the best proof of love you can give someone is to leave and never come back and you were willing to do that if he told you to, but he did not know all the truth. If after knowing the truth he still wanted you to leave, it would break your heart, but you were willing to do so.
On the Eastern side of the protruding balcony where the shadows are deeper a figure hides from your view. It waits for the perfect moment and as you lean on balcony’s railing; your face between your hands. The assassin moves to strike and a hand comes to his mouth from over his head where a wide ledge is located. The assassin tries to fight off the attack but another strong hand comes to grab his throat and start squeezing until he starts feeling lightheaded and his vision blurs. It felt to him like an eternity but it has taken seconds for his vision to turn to black and his limbs to loosen and drop the knife he was about to throw. It falls among the hydrangeas and camellias under the balcony. The shadow above the ledge carries the unconscious man up to the the ledge to better get a grip. He will extract information from him and that is the only reason the assassin is still alive. Skillfully a pair of gauntleted hands tie the assassin up and gag him with his own clothes. He is about to be carried off when the shadow hears you humming a melody you would often hum when working. He scans his surroundings with his intelligent red eyes and then after making sure the assassin is not going anywhere and there is no one to spy on him, he moves down to the spot the assassin has vacated.
You were so close to him, just like the times he has gotten inside the Askran castle and yet just like those times he was unable to touch you.
- My Alfonse…where are you? When will I see you again?- You emit a sigh and his heart breaks a little more at that. He feels the sting of jealousy crawl up his chest and anger at himself for seeking you out and…
==Wait…Is Alfonse not here with her? Why?==
Your humming stops again as the sound of footsteps grow louder.
- Oh hey Alfonse. Sharena is still sleeping. I did not want to wake her up.
- I was told the servants will be bringing you food in a while. Let her sleep meanwhile.- He says as he joins you outside.- You were thinking about him.- It is not a question. You hum in response and change the subject.
-Have you been able to talk to Zacharias?- Alfonse stares at you and gives a sigh.
-...No. Princess Veronica is not too keen on letting him out of her sight…_______ he is not going to listen to you and he is dangerous.
Lif is surprised by the conversation. Who was the person you were thinking about? Who were you talking about ?
== Could it be Zacharias. Is she trying to help him in his quest? Why? Could she be…No…it can not be…=
Unconsciously he got closer as he tried to process and make out the pieces of information.
- Alfonse we talked about this. I have been wanting to help him for years and you agreed at some point. What changed?
== I got engaged to a woman I despise and I am afraid to loose you for ever…== Thought Alfonse.
-I…I am afraid. I thought I was over this when I got engaged. It has been a year and …it feels the same as it felt the day I signed the treaty.
==What?! He..== Lif’s mind was reeling.
- It only got worse when Ótr kidnapped you.
==WHAT!? That bastard will pay for this! I stay away for a while and this happens?! What are you doing Alfonse?==
- I am worried all the time and angry and you are not making this easy ________. I know I should not be telling you this, I know it is not my place to ask you to stay…but I can’t…
- Alfonse I will try to be more careful. I swear I do not want to burden you. I know you got enough problems. That is why I am here, to help you, not to add to them, but do not ask me not to seek him out at least once. I swore I would help you until the end of the war and I will. I will not leave. I swear it still… I need to make things right with him. I have tried to help you but we both tried to undo the engagement and we couldn’t. That woman really wants to be queen and unless we find a treasure bigger than her fortune we can’t do much about it…and then there is the other matter. Let me do this please. He deserves it.
-And so do you. He is your husband after all.- The word made his mouth taste bitter.- I apologize for being so selfish…You have sacrificed everything for us and to help us and I only want more out of you…-Alfonse sighs.- Do it. I will instruct the men to do what you need and keep you safe. But rem…- His words were cut off by the sound of someone coming inside the room.
-______. I got your food and Sharena’s.- Came Fjorm’s sweet voice. You get inside to greet her and Lif is left looking at Alfonse’s sour expression. He did not miss the whispered “Sometimes I hate that woman.”
==Husband…just when I thought Alfonse was not a threat…Grrr…Alfonse ! Who did you let her marry!?…”He is dangerous”…could it be Zacharias? Dimitri… NO!…Let her do what she wants…What do I care…she is not my ______. She never was…== He thought this as if he did not care, but inside the remainder of his heart was breaking. Who was he fooling?
He looked to the assassin. He was angry and someone would pay for it.
That night the matron of the “tavern” disappeared when she was coming back into the city. A low ranking Nobleman was found dead after he ran into a couple of shadows while coming back into the city as well. They blamed robbers at first, but he still had his money on him and he had bleed to death while trying to escape whoever was chasing him. The wound was on his lower abdomen. His penis and testicles were cut off.
~*~
The next morning, Zoe was not able to leave the city. She could not find neither the brothel’s matron not the nobleman she owed money to. The other workers who had been with her when she had left the city, had said she had just gone to pee and never came back. Then when she went to pay her debt, she learned the man had been assassinated and was told how he had died. Kagero was with her and was able to communicate, what had happened, to you.
You leave the castle to visit the soldiers and heroes who did not want to stay at the castle. Some of them were gathering info all around the city while they were here. You took F Dimitri, Marth, Beruka, M Byleth to where Kagero had left Zoe and Vera. When you find her she is a little afraid about what had happened, but offered to help you with your plan.
You take off to the part of the city where the brothel is located, but it is sealed off. With a small distraction you all were able to sneak in unseen. When you get there the place is obviously deserted. Zoe went to prepare the room you will stay in and meanwhile you tell your heroes the truth. Who you were and who Lif was to you. It was difficult but you manage to explain.
- Is this why it was so easy for Alfonse to accept the engagement with that horrible…with Lady Braam?-Asks Marth.
-No. We tried everything, to get him off of it without upsetting the treaty, before he told you about it. It wasn’t easy at all. Even without me in the picture, it is not easy to sign your life away to a loveless marriage.- Marth nodded to this.
- I don’t see why his mother would want her as a queen.-F Dimitri mutters.- She is clearly filth.- He finishes with disgust. Even in the bad mental state Dimitri had never said anything offending to any lady that was not his worst enemy so hearing talking this way about Lady Braam spoke volumes of the type of person she was.
-We will come up with something to help him out. You’ll see. If not just for him…for the good of Askr.
-If a marriage is “Until death do us part”. Does this not mean you are not married any more?- Leave it to Byleth to be direct and a little tactless but practical.
-I suppose in a way, but I still feel as if I am still married to him, and he needs to know the whole truth.
-That is so romantic…and sad…- Says Marth with his left hand on his heart.
-How do you know he will be here? In this place?- Asks Dimitri looking around angrily and a little jealous.
-Zoe met him in the tunnel when he was sneaking inside the city and she helped him map it out. She told him her story and he wanted to help her and her sister. She has seen him sneak in other nights too. Every month actually.
-So he was the one who assassinated the matron and that nobleman last night?
-We believe so.
-Mmm…- was all F Dimitri said. You got the feeling he did not entirely believe you.
-Does she know what he comes to do besides…visit?- Asks Byleth. You know he does not buy the whole story. Marth looks embarrassed.
-Not really. We believe Thrasir just wants to know about her brother. She is going to be really happy to see him tonight.
-Oh so Thrasir comes as well?- Says Marth sending the others a look that was a little chastising.
After a while Zoe walks you up to the room after you have given the heroes their instructions. Some of them would stay in the first floor guarding the two entrances and trying to be out of sight but giving you plenty of privacy. They will take turns as guards while the rest go to rest with Zoe and Vera. Beruka would be guarding the tunnel entrance, just to be sure no one else but him enters.
- Thank you for not telling them about me… -You smile at her.- I readied the room and cleaned it. It has not been used in a while so do not worry about…um… things. The room is sound proof for privacy. The sheets and blankets are new. I got them from the matron’s stores. Er…just in case… I…I apologize for being so forward but…he is your husband after all. I hope everything turns out right.
-God I wish it too. I miss him.
-How long has it been, since you were together?
- Last time I saw him was more than three years ago, when I still didn’t remember anything about him… More than six years for me since we were together…for him…who knows how long he has been alone with only Thrasir to keep him company. I always wondered if they were…together. I have been so jealous all this time.
-I do not think so Summoner. If they had been together I do not think he would have…come here and she would have reacted differently as well. Well I better get going. I bet Lady Kagero must be tired of dealing with us by now. I will bring the heroes some food and then hide in one of the other houses just in case. Good luck Summoner!
She leaves and you walk around the room looking at things. There are perfumed oils that smell very strong and kind of cheap, and bottles that look like wine. There are some things in the drawers that look like massage oils and ==Ugh! Are those toys???!!…Ugh I better not touch anything just in case…==
You sit on the bed, back to the door and ponder if you should have worn something better. The dark brown cloak you are wearing hides your garments. You are wearing only what other may call body armor and boots. A belt that houses a sword and a satchel with some items inside. You take off the belt and sword, then the satchel and open it to take out a small notebook where you have written some notes and ideas of what to do about different problems the heroes are facing. Time passes until you hear footsteps coming up the stairs and then approaching the door.
~*~
Lif went up the tunnel to the castle. He needed to see you again, at least one more time, before he stopped hurting himself this way. He needed to know who his precious Summoner had married.
==No! She is not my Summoner…she is just…Then why are you going to see her then…why do you want to know who it was she married and see how easy you can get rid of him… To see how it feels to break every bone in his body.==.
At the angry thought his hands made a fist, his eyes shone a bright red and he imagined all the ways he could get rid of a body without you ever finding out it had been him. He was also making a list of the probable heroes and friends that could be the offending recipient of…who was he fooling. If it was Zacharias, he was unsure if he could ever hurt his friend and he would never hurt Thrasir this way. Besides, Zacharias was a good man at the core.
When he came to where the entrance to the brothel was he stopped. There was a candle burning at the entrance. He had assumed the woman had left the city, but by this sigh he thought she must be there thinking he would be coming. He thought for a minute whether he should go inside. He spied a note by the candle. It read “ Please come up.”He thought he should go and tell that woman she was free to go now and so he entered the brothel thinking that even if it was empty, he knew full well where the woman lived down the street.
He opened the door to find candles lit in a kind of pathway. Why was that woman here still waiting for him? Maybe she was afraid he would go out to seek her out at her house. He sighted. Sometimes being scary was very useful, but sometimes it was just annoying. He followed the path upstairs until he finally was outside the room. He opened the door to find candles burning. The room did not smell of perfume as much as other times. He took a small bag of coins from his belt and let it fall on the top of the drawer by the door. The figure in the bed did not move. She looked scared stiff. He sighted again. It was not like he ever hurt her and he had asked for her permission too. He closed the door behind him. Thinking she may need an explanation. She might have come to the conclusion that it had been him who had gotten rid of her two captors. He gave a step forward.
-The people that own you are gone. You are free to go. You don’t have to be scared any…- There was something odd about the situation. The figure moved her head to the side a little at his faltering. For all the gold he had given her for her silence, that woman would have said something by now,she always had something to say and that smell. The smell was not one of those awful perfumes the woman always had to use…it felt familiar…it was… he found himself unsheathing his sword, but oddly enough it felt like he was warding off a demon out to get his soul, instead of trying to attack it. - Who are you?! What are you doing here?
-Is this how you greet me now Alfonse?- You say to him and take off the hood of the cloak. You turn around to see him widen his eyes.
He takes a step back and comes into contact with the door he had closed. He is still holding his sword up to you but his other hand is searching for the doorknob.
-Summoner…What are you doing here? ==Of all the people who could find out I come here, it had to be you? I really am cursed!==
-I came looking for you. I need to tell you something important…are you going to hold that sword up at me all night?
-There is nothing to talk about Summoner.- He says, sheaths his sword and turns to leave.- You are a married woman Summoner. You shouldn’t go around looking for men in brothels, people may talk.- He says suddenly angry and jealous of this unknown husband of yours.
==The nerve!==
-Well a woman just might have to go into brothels if their husband is the one visiting it! I am looking for my husband Alfonse… I heard he comes here every month.
Lif turns around faster than he intended and looks angrily at you.-So you really married Zacharias? and he comes here every month? Do you not keep him satisfied enough Summoner? I took you for a more passionate woman, if not borderline perverted ==Marrying my best friend!==… but your marital problems are of no consequence to me. And don’t call me Alfonse.- He says angrily and steps closer to you.
==It has to be Zacharias! Who else would come here often…and to think he was my friend! How could they?==
-What?! First of all…What the FUCK!? …The Hell you mean Bruno? What does he have to do with this? I am looking for you Alfonse! If you let me talk then I would…
- I heard you talking to Alfonse last night. You were talking about his engagement and then about your wedding. He said Princess Veronica was not going to let him out of her sight and then he said he was dangerous and you said he was your husband…and stop calling me Alfonse.
- You were spying on me?…Alfonse...Lif.We were talking about you. Yes I started out talking about Bruno to change the subject, but he switched to you because he knew I was coming here to tell you the truth. Lif I am in no way married to Bruno. Next time you listen to someone else’s conversation get all the facts and stop assuming things.
-Why were you talking about me and what truth are you talking about?
-Lif. You disappeared after our fight with Hel and I thought you were gone… after a time I stated having these memories coming back to me and after talking to Alfonse we came to the conclusion that I had been summoned twice to Askr. Once for him but the first time for you. I have been looking for traces of you to tell you, but I could not find any traces of you until I found Zoe by mere luck. Umm…Lif? Are you listening?
Lif could not move. He was rooted to the spot. He stopped listening when you said you had been summoned to his Askr first.
==Is she? Why didn’t she tell me?…how?==
-You…You are my summoner…and you didn’t tell me…
-Umm, I just said I tried to find you to tell you but…
- Why? I have been looking for a way to save you! How could you leave me alone all this time? You promised! You promised you would never leave me!- He steps back again as if he is trying to leave.
- I know. This is why I came to see you as soon as I found out where you would be.
- It is because I look hideous isn’t it? You rather stay with him? It that it? You love him more don’t you? He is perfect! Your perfect prince!- He is pacing around the room now, his agitated breath coming out like poisonous miasma around him.
-Lif you were gone! How was I suppose to tell you who I was, if I didn’t even know you survived? Are you even listening to me? I love you I wanted to find you as soon as I knew you were here!
-You love me? You love me now that he is out of your reach? Now that he left you and is getting married?
-There has not been anything between us since I told him we were married!- You reach out to him and he pulls away.
-Don’t touch me!- His hand hits you on the chest when he turns around to leave and you stumble and hit yourself on the drawer by the door then fall to the floor.
-Ofhh.- He looks sideways at you and watches as you fall down. He tries to take your arm but misses it as you flail your arms in an effort to find something to hold on to. In an instant he is by your side kneeling on the floor.
-_______! Are you hurt? I did not mean for this to happen!- He says eyes wide in shock.
-Ow it hurts…I just landed on my butt…
-Your arm is bleeding. Really Summoner, getting hurt in a place like this! You will catch an infection! Or something worse…
-If I can manage to talk to you; it will be worth it.- He looks into your eyes as he helps you up and sits you on the bed. He sighs again and sits next to you.
-You really did tell Alfonse we were married?- He ask looking sideways at you while rummaging inside your satchel for something to cure you. He knows you always bring a first aid kit.
-Were? I told him we ARE still married…unless you don’t want me anymore.- He looks away at that.
-The cut isn’t deep. You should head out to the castle now. I am sure he will find a way to undo that engagement if you tell him you love him.- His ruby red eyes are avoiding looking at you.
- No. I am not going back until we talk.
-What is there to talk about? You are Askr’s summoner. You will only go back to him.
-Not to him. I am going back for the whole Kingdom. I made a promise , like I did you. I served you and our Kingdom until I died. I failed you and our people…I will not do so again.
-You didn’t fail anyone…It was all my fault. I should have done more research…I was so desperate…
- We were all desperate…but at the end you did the right thing. She is gone…we paid a high price but she is gone for good. Imagine how many worlds she would have ended before someone else stopped her… if any one ever did.
-My people should not have to pay the price for my mistakes.
- We all lost and you were really not wrong…it is the payment…and that type of payment is the kind that is hidden until the deal is done…Like a contract with the devil. I have been doing some research during my free time. I still can’t find the payment as a result of the rite. I also have been researching for ways to help you…- He looks you in the eyes now.
-Leave it to you to be working on your free time.
-Well. I don’t go to picnics or long walks in the garden anymore so I go to the library. Every day we have new heroes, many of them we never met before and they contribute to our knowledge. The library keeps on growing. I managed to summon some heroes back from the dead Lif. Including Lord Freyr, the god of dreams and fertility.
-You summoned Lord Freyr?… dead heroes…
- I do not want to raise our hopes but maybe one of these times …and I can try it on our pedestal, back in our Askr, to see if it works.
-Ours - He murmurs closing his eyes.-…But you need to save this Askr first.
-Yes and this war just stretches on like it is just pilling one on top of another. But we will try won’t we?
- Perhaps. ..You need to leave. Do not get yourself into so much trouble and much less for me. I can’t be there to save you all the time.
-Lif…You really don’t love me any more?- You ask him and he lowers his eyes.
==Is it Thrasir Alfonse? Have you left me for Thrasir?==
-Does it matter?
-Have you not been listening? I love you! Of course it matters to me.
- You don’t love me. I am not the man you loved once. He died the day you died…You have no idea what I have done for her…just look at what she turned me into…- He takes off his mask then and closes his eyes. He does not want to see the disgust in your face.- And if it were just my appearance…
- I can understand you do not like the way you look and have negative feeling about it, but you have to know I do not mind at all what you look like. - he opens his eyes then and you can see his feelings bared for a second.- Please my Alfonse, Do not shut me out because of this. Why do you always have to be so difficult? Sometimes I feel like I am always running around trying to get to you and you always run away from your feelings and from me.Just like when we met.- You caress his face. You feel the lips you can not see and touch the line that unites his flesh and his glowing body with your thumb and see him get closer to you. You meet him halfway.
The kiss was tentative and slow, like he was still waiting for you to shun him and push him away and when you tried to get closer and placed your arms around his neck, the noise he made was almost a whine of need. He deepens the kiss and circle your waist with one hand and cradle your head with his other.The need to be close to you is overwhelming and he wants to be as close to you as possible. You feel his tongue exploring inside you; drinking you up like lost man in a desert. Meanwhile you feel the same way, but with the added feeling of exploring this different body. You are fascinated by the smooth and soft feel of his skin. You though he would feel cold but there is a warmth to his body just like a regular body would feel. It was very inviting. You did not want to let go and yet you feel him retreat a little and bury his face in the crock of your neck and take a beep breath.
-I missed you. I have been so lost without you… no one to ground me…or guide me.
-I missed you too love…- You caress his head and card your fingers through his hair the way you used to when you spend the night together. His hair looked darker and almost colorless. His vibrant blue and gold faded to dark blue and silver, but the feel was the same. All of him was this way. He looked different but he felt the same. He raises his head and before he tries to leave, you take his lips and kiss him. He seems surprised, but complies and soon you are breathless against him again. You feel yourself being lowered to the bed, but all of a sudden he stops and let go.
- Not here. I will not let this place stain you and this moment.
- All is clean love. I made sure of this. No one has used the sheets and blankets. They are a gift.
-She told you…
- She felt she owed me her life and her sister’s. I am glad she did tell me. Do not be angry at her. She is also grateful to you and wants to see you happy. -He makes a face and turns away blushing.
- She did not have to tell you any details…
- She didn’t. …Well only about the coat…and my name.
- I am sorry I was….. unfaithful…would you ever forgive me?
-For all you knew I was dead. That wasn’t being unfaithful. You did not know who I was and you were thinking of me. Weren’t you?
- All the time.- He closes his eyes then ads.-I don’t deserve you or your kindness.
-You can still make it up to me.- You say and wink at him.
-You…are sure about this?
-Yes. Unless you do not want me…I suppose..
-I do…Gods I do. - He says and kisses you again.- I…missed….you…so …much…- He says between kisses. He lays you down and he half lays on top of you and watches you for a minute intensely.- I can not believe you are here with me.- He says quietly. He lowers himself and kisses you again while you circle him to reach his back.
His armor is full of cutting edges and pointy horns. He worries about it and so he raises himself to stand and take it all off. He starts with his fur cloak and gloves.All the while watching your reaction. You have seen his face and torso, but he was worried you would not find him attractive after seeing all of his body. He took off his armor, which surprisingly he could do by himself as if it was just placed on his body without fastening. He was left with only his boots, which he was taking off and pants. You get up to start taking off your clothes, while you hear his voice. You could only take off the boots.
-No. Let me. I want to do it.- He had dream of this for so long. Being with you again and fantasizing about it had been one of the things that had helped him keep the little sanity he had. He sighs out of nervousness. He used to be a very self conscious man when he was alive and his new form was so repulsive to him. How he wished he could have his old body back. He stands before you a second, unsure of what to do. He wanted to see your face but at the same time he did not. He stood looking down until he growled a little and berated himself for being a coward. He looked up to your face and caught you staring at him in fascination. Your lips parted in anticipation. It was enough for Lif to feel a heat inside him flare.
==She…likes me…Doesn’t she find me disgusting?=
-Sir…MY clothes will not be taking themselves off. -You say flirting, because knowing him; that pause he had taken, meant he is insecure and having second thoughts.
He gets closer to you and kisses you again. You can feel his hands working on your top clothes. You feel them being lifted and help him, by raising your arms for him to take them off. The brief pause in the kiss to get the top off ends with his mouth once again taking your lips. His arms reach behind you to undo the fastenings on your bra and then caress your back, before laying you down.
He let go of your lips to kiss your neck while his hand reached your breast. He hummed in pleasure at the softness of your skin and when you moaned and reached for his hair, he lowered his head to lick at your nipple. The gasp you emitted makes him smile and he looks up at you when he feels you kiss the top of his head. He meets your eyes and the ruby irises darken with desire. Holding your stare he plays with your nipple with his tongue while his hand reaches down to your pants. He unfastens them and reaches inside. Nimble fingers searching for the price he so desires.
At this point you have melted in his arms. There are no coherent words coming from your mouth but his name. His fingers play you like the strings of a guitar and your music is more precious to him than the any notes he could conjure with his violin.
-Does he touch you the way I do? Tell me. Has he made love to you?
-No…we have never…Lif …please! My Alfonse…My Lif!
How he had missed your voice calling his name. He thought he would have hated that you call him by his name, but now he knew, the Alfonse of this world had not touched you the way he has and he does not want you to call him Lif.
-Alfonse…Call me Alfonse.- He says in your ear.
-Alfonse! My Alfonse! My love!…I…I need …I Need…-He also could not wait any longer. He had waited for so long and the knowledge that it was you this time, not a mirage or a fantasy…it drove him insane to wait any longer. He rose to pull your pants and underwear off and once done, he opened your legs to position himself. He stayed there admiring your body a moment. The intensity of his stare made you blush. You were so vulnerable right now and he felt a wave or warmth to know that you still trusted him enough to let him see you this way. He took your left leg with his hand, to hold it up but he wanted so much to taste you as well.
He made up his mind and he lowered himself to plant a kiss on the inside of your thigh.He moved to your womanhood. Your smell had always turned him on, but your taste…he had never thought he would enjoy something so much. You tasted just as sweet as ever and he closed his eyes as he twirled his tongue over your clitoris. His eyes opened when he hears you moan loudly. It had been so long since he had done this, but the sweet sounds you were making told him he was doing things right.
It did not take long for his tongue to bring your release, It had been so long and the desire to have him was so strong. He smiled to himself as he saw you tremble with ecstasy by his hand and tongue alone. He climbed the bed and over your body until he was level with your face and buried his face in the crock of your neck to take a soft bite of the tender skin. He could not hold on for much longer but he wanted you to enjoy your self first. You turn your face to kiss his head and he gives you a grumble of satisfaction then he takes your lips and kisses you. It was a tender kiss that soon changed into a heated kiss. By this time you were ready to take him in.
He takes a second to look at your face as he slides himself inside you. When you move and moan with pleasure he smiles for a second and then closes his eyes in pleasure as well. You felt so right around him, so soft and warm. He moves slowly at first, taking in the feel and making it last. He opens his eyes to watch you in the same situation.
Your hands were holding on to his back and arched in ways that made him want to touch deeper inside you. He kisses you deeply to be closer to you. He can hear you moans partly silenced by his tongue and he grunts in return. It is slowly driving him insane and he wants more, much more. He moves faster and you adjust to his rhythm. You feel one of his hands cupping one of your breasts. Caressing the perked up nipple with his thumb. All the while he is not kissing you he is telling you sweet nothings in your ears.
You wrap you legs around him when you feel that sweet spot being bombarded with waves of pleasure once again. You hear him grunt in that sexy low voice of his.
-I love you Alfonse!
He lets go and shares that moment with you. Your words brought him the final push he needed to reach ecstasy.
Moments later he holds you in his arms.
-How I love you my _______ . How I have missed you and these moments…I feel like we are one soul that have been apart for too long and finally has come together again.
You hear him sigh deeply and his hold tightens. There is a slight tremor in his chest and after a moment you hear a strangled sob. You try to see what is wrong but his hand on your head keeps you from moving.
-I…I don’t want to leave. I don’t want to return to that loneliness…I …I can not take it! Not when I know you are here, near him and…
-Don’t leave. Stay with me.
-I can’t…
-Why?
-I made a deal…with the gods…with Thorr specifically.
-Why?
-She…came to us and said they could return our people if we helped them.
-Help them? With what?…wait…Alfonse?...Love how could you?
-I was not thinking strait… I have been so lost in the shadows…I thought it was a good option…and…I…I want to destroy the gods too. I need time and information on how to do it…
-That is a very dangerous game Alfonse.
-I know. I had nothing to lose at the time…or at least I did not know I had something to lose at the time. Come with me! Together we can do this!
-You are going to help them destroy my Askr and want me to help you? I gave them my word. To this people…including Sharena.
-No. Of course not…I… I don’t want him to die anymore…I have been so jealous of him, I was willing to do anything…
- I have been jealous of Thrasir.- You say. Lif looks at you and makes a face.
-Why? She is like a sister to me…a more exasperating sister.- He says under his breath. He sighs and hides his face in your hair and the crock of your neck.
-It would not work and the power of summoning is the least the gods need…I would never help them destroy another Askr.
-I know. I would never let them use your power either. I… just want you near me.
-Oh…You have been spying on me…you can still do it and well they don’t need to know what you do when you spy on me. I can give pieces of useless information that may sound interesting to them.
-And I can give you what I find out…
-Alfonse…I don’t like it…I don’t want to lose you again.
-Nor I you _______…Marry me again ______.
- Marry you…bejond death… Is there a way to marry souls without the Gods knowing?
-Marry our souls?- You feel him take your face in his hands and turn it upward for him to look at you.-Bind our souls …for all eternity…so we will be together even in death.Is that what you want?- He asks hopefully. His eyes shine like they have not shined since he was alive. His lips part and his breathing deepens.
-Yes. Do you?
-It is what I most desire…for you and I to be together always…no matter what…to belong to you and for you to belong to me.
- Then let’s find a way to do it.- You say smiling. You know he will find a way.
-I…I know how to do it…I never told you because…I never thought you wanted to bind yourself to me in such an intimate and final way.
- Why didn’t you say this before? It would have saved us a lot of time and problems and…God I love you Alfonse!- You give him a peck on the nose and then look at him again.- Let’s do it then.
-Let me just prepare the ritual.- This surprises you because you thought the ritual may require items not available to you at the moment; but you say nothing because you know Lif would take this as hesitation on your part.
He gets up and rummages for something inside his clothes that are scattered on the floor, while you sit on the bed looking at his magnificent body. He takes a deep breath and reaches for the dagger he carries in his belt and returns to sit by your side. He is unsure if the spell will work if he uses his hand so he cuts his cheek instead , where he still have regular skin. Blood comes out of the small cut. He takes your hand and cuts your palm until a little blood comes out. He puts your hand over his cheek and covers it with his own. He closes his eyes to relish in the warmth of your hand on his human flesh.
Slowly he starts to speak.There are some words in the beloved ancient tongue of his people that you can not make out. Then his eyes open. Lif’s eyes shine brighter than you have ever seen them shine before, when he next speaks.
- By the power given to me and you by Lord Askr, I give myself entirely to you. I give myself to you so my soul can bind to yours for all eternity. Do you give yourself to me completely so your soul can bind to mine?
-By the power given to me and you by Lord Askr, I give myself entirely to you as you are giving yourself entirely to me so that my soul can bind to yours.
-Let our souls bind to each other for eternity.- He says and kisses you.
There is a feeling of something being pulled away from your body and a sense of togetherness you have never felt even when at the height of ecstasy while making love to him. The pleasure was beyond carnal pleasure and so clean it felt holy. For a moment it was as if you did not know where you ended and he began and the feeling of closeness was so compelling you wanted to stay this way for ever.
The strength of the spell drained you both and you open your eyes to see his eyes shining a bright blue. You were not even aware of the moment you had closed you eyes since you could still see him. His eyes widen when he sees the same blue light shining in yours. The light fades and he knows the spell worked and Lord Askr has blessed the union. Perhaps it was foolish of him to still have faith in Askr, but his blessing had never left him and even if his Lord had not come to his aid in his darkest of times he understood every god had a different power and different use. Askr was the only God so far that had been good to his people and so he still held respect for him.
- I feels so happy Alfonse!- You say and it was true. You may even cry of happiness at this moment.
-So do I.- He gives a sigh of contentment and buries his face in the crock of your neck again and embraces you tightly. This man who is almost seven feet tall manages to make himself smaller by almost wrapping himself around you protectively. - Mmm…Mine…
There is almost a purr to his voice that makes you giggle a little. He is like a big cat that just wants to be petted and be given love. It is such a contrast to when you had first met. You think back to that time. Of course the hunger for touch had always been there but he had been hurt and so he was cautious and he was also shy so it had taken moths for his trust in you to grow enough to let you into his heart. Touching had not been his love language until he had learned from you and that is when he discovered he craved it. And now you were finally here with him; he was drinking in every touch and every word like the sands of the desert; taking them all inside himself and hiding them like a treasure.
Lif did not need to sleep but could do it if he so wanted. He did it when he felt his mind needed the rest but sleep would bring nightmares so he slept seldom. He did not sleep while he held you into sleep. It had taken you with a smile on your face and his name on your lips.
For some moments he would be afraid this happiness would have been only a dream and worse yet that this happiness would end in tragedy somehow and he would bury his face again in your hair until that fear would die down and he willed himself to not think those dark thoughts. Your warmth and your smell would reassure him and he would be content again.
-Who is Alfonse engaged to?- He asks suddenly out of the blue, a while after he felt you wake up.
-Your third cousin Elanor Braam.
-What would possessed him to agree to an arranged marriage with her? Of all my family…Unless we count cousin Damian…Still she is the worst kind of person.
-She knows about Sharena…and how you…handled the situation.- He knew the situation right away. Sharena being the friendly girls she was, had made friends with many nobles. Among them was a Baron’s third son, called Ambrose Von Becker, whom she came to idolize for his musical abilities. In his efforts to gain social status he had befriended the friendly girl. Knowing he had no chance in courting her, because of his status, he planned to lure her into running away with him. The plan was to make her think she was going to go on a trip with him and his sister as chaperone but planned on going the two of them by themselves. Luckily Sharena had confided her plans to Alfonse and Zacharias who was at the time still training Sharena. Together they both had made her see the truth. Zacharias told her he knew Almbrose’s sister was away on a trip to the far South as she had insisted on him accompanying her.
However the damage was already done since she had sent him letters making plans and alluding to secret meetings that although were innocent in nature, could be viewed as something entirely different. Ambrose had told no one yet but tried to blackmail Alfonse into making him help accept an arranged marriage or he would tell everyone that it had been her idea to run away and that their meetings were more than innocent. Alfonse who was still young and did not want his parents to know took matters into his owns hands. Together with the help of his best friend Zacharias and his retainer Erland, they arranged a hunt where Ambrose suffered a disastrous accident that killed him. Sharena was but 13 years of age and Ambrose 25. And now the most greedy and hateful of the courtesans had gotten hold of the few reminding letters to blackmail Alfonse herself.
-How?- You hear anger in his voice.
- One of the servants told her husband. The husband sold the information. Elanor went to your…to the Queen and blackmailed her into arranging the marriage or she would make the whole situation known.
-Does she have proof?
-The servant and her husband…they helped her get some of the letters Sharena sent Ambrose. In one of them she mentions…the meetings and…they found the woodsman who helped you set the trap that got Ambrose killed. She has him hidden somewhere…until they get married. Sharena doesn’t know. She thinks…her mother is doing it for her money.
-Do not worry about ti. I am sure there will be a way to help him.
-How can I not worry…- You start but he moves to hug you closer.
-Come here.- He says and kisses you.
Dawn came and with it the voice of one Prince Marth of Altea.
-Summoner. Dawn comes. We need to leave before sentinels come and we are wanted in the castle. Remember we leave at midday.
-Thank you your Highness. I will be down in…(sigh) ten minutes.
-You have to go…
-Mmm…five more minutes…
-I wish we had that luxury…Love…-He was so tempted to kidnap you away and keep you for himself and away from all dangers that awaited you. But he knew not only that you would not fall for such temptation, but that it was counterproductive to both your missions. So he settles for your accord on stolen moments every once in a while. It was a huge leap from being alone…well with Thrasir.
==Oh FUCK! Veronica!! She is going to kill …Well…Whatever...==
He gets up faster than he wanted to and started to dress up. You followed halfheartedly and grumbling a little.
It took you less than five minutes to dress and it took him even less time. Lif spent the rest of the time waiting for you to dress, looking out of the window. He made a point of not looking at you or he would lose his composure and pull you down on the bed once again. Once he heard you were making the bed and tiding up the place, he turned around and pulled you into a final kiss that lasted more than he thought he could without undressing you again.
Strangely enough he felt content and hopeful when he finally left and not the endless emptiness and hopelessness that always followed him. By the time he reached the door to the tunnel he even felt like smiling at a bewildered Dimitri. Not like the man could see his smile under the mask and light but he did so non the less.
Still he knew he could not say anything about his plans even to Thrasir so he tried to fake shame when he met with her.
-Do we have another ally in our plans to take down the gods?- Thrasir asked as soon as he got near and not even looking at him. Silence met her inquiry while taken aback by the question Lif had stayed silent.- I talked to Bruno. Alfonse helped me have a moment with him. I told him about the assassin. He told me about your meeting. Strange how he trusts me more than you.
-I just got here…
-Hmmp… You forgot to tell her about the assassination tempt I assume.
-Err…
-Of course…How she forgave you I don’t understand… You can tell her when we go back to Askr to “spy’ on them. And erase that stupid smile off your face. We don’t want Thorr to suspect anything.
-Yes…of course…how?…
- You even walk different. Also you stayed all night.
-Oh…
- Do us a favor.Do try to give off that miasma of doom and hopelessness you always carry with you.- There was a strange sound coming from her that Lif had never heard before. It sounded like a giggle but instead of making him smile he felt awkwardly creeped out.Talking to her brother for so long had done wonders for her. She felt so happy.- Come before we give our entire mission away.
-Veronica…Thank you…
-Shut up.- Veronica never took a compliment or a thanks right and an apology much less.
-Veronica…
-What do you want.
-Don’t giggle while I am present again…
-Umm….Now I know how to get your attention…
-Fuck…
[line break ]
It took time but eventually you could summon Bruno, Thrasir’s brother. The next time they came and found out Thrasir had smiled. The good part was that death had freed him from the curse too.
It was strange to see her smile. But it was also regarding. The more you talked to her the more you liked her.
[Line break]
The news came two weeks before the Winter festival. A tragedy for the royal family had occurred. The Crowned Prince’s fiance had died in a fire in which her Winter residence had burned down along with many of her servants.
There was no need for an investigation. A servant confessed to have killed and then burned down the Villa with her mistress, her husband and a couple of the servants inside. Her motives were never knows as she seemed to have lost her mind after and was never able to talk again.
She had been sentenced to death but Alfonse was merciful and decided to let her live the rest of her life in prison since she had been a servant in his own household when he was younger.
On the day of the Winter Festival Alfonse found a parcel with a bow waiting for him when he woke up. It contained the missing letters that almost cost him his freedom. A single note written in his own fancy script read:
“Watch them burn.”
And Alfonse did. Smiling at the dark joke Lif had written in the note; he threw the bundle of incriminating letters immediately into the fire in the chimney. At last they were free.
#feh alfonse#feh#fire emblem heroes#fire emblem#lif#alfonse#fe heroes#feh lif#feh lif x summoner#feh kiran#feh al#feh alfonse x kiran#feh su#feh summoner x lif#feh sum#feh summoner#reade#lif x reader#x reader#reader insert#fem reader#alfonse x#feh alfonse x summoner#feh alfonse x reader#alfonse x summoner
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the fact that i'm no longer the same age as the protagonists of novels and films i once connected to is so heartbreaking. there was a time when I looked forward to turning their age. i did. and i also outgrew them. i continue to age, but they don't; never will. the immortality of fiction is beautiful, but cruel.
#was rereading the hunger games series when this thought hit me like a truck#it beautiful#its haunting#its heartbreaking#its melancholic#quotes#dark academia#books and reading#books & libraries#books#young adult#ya books#young adult books#movies#coming of age#the hunger games#the divergent series#the maze runner#the fault in our stars#musings#midnight musings#thoughts#mine
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the problem with reading and writing leading to a strong vocabulary is that you tend to know the vibe of words instead of their meanings.
if I used this word in a sentence, would it make sense? absolutely. if you asked me what it meant, could I tell you? absolutely not.
#someone send this to my english teacher because vocab tests are hard#writing memes#reading#writers#writers of tumblr#writers of instagram#writing#writer#reader#writer memes#readers of tumblr
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"Absolutely no one comes to save us but us."
Ismatu Gwendolyn, "you've been traumatized into hating reading (and it makes you easier to oppress)", from Threadings, on Substack [ID'd]
#q#lit#quotes#typography#essays and articles#id included#ismatu gwendolyn#youve been traumatized into hating reading and it makes you easier to oppress#threadings#m#x
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ZOMBIELAND: DOUBLE TAP (2019)
#bill murray#zombieland: double tap#zombieland#zombieland 2#filmedit#horroredit#zombieedit#classichorrorblog#cinematv#dailyflicks#junkfooddaily#horrorgifs#userqueen#usergiles#userlex#useranimusvox#nero-neptune#*#this is the funniest trivia i have ever read thank you reddit user tealitall
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my mum forbade me to say anything to my dad about the top surgery thing, and it's just hit me how funny it would be if i got it done and didn't tell him and just waited for him to notice. i mean, what's he gonna say? "didn't you used to have tits?"
#obviously she meant 'don't get it done and don't tell him you thought about it' but i am choosing to read it as#'gaslight him into thinking you've been titless all your life'#be shh now#containment breach
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my favorite customer service slip ups
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it's always so fascinating and heartbreaking when a character in a story is simultaneously idolized and abused. a chosen prophet destined for martyrdom. a child prodigy forced to grow up too fast. a powerful warrior raised as nothing but a weapon. there's just something so uniquely messed up about singing someone's praises whilst destroying them.
#writing#writing prompt#tropes#reading#books#book tropes#angst prompt#angst#booklr#writeblr#writers on tumblr#percy jackson#the poppy war#mythology#chosen one#atla#avatar#avatar the last airbender#bungou stray dogs#yosano akiko#anime#my hero academia#todoroki shoto#neon genesis evangelion#the hunger games#10k#20k#30k#50k#100k
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a comic about fix-it fanfics
#original comic#fanfic#fix it fic#fandom#dr who#bbc sherlock#avengers#my comic#my art#been thinking about the truly dumb amount of time I've spent reading fanfic#i started writing fix-it fic like a couple months ago and I Get It#teenage pim was a dumbass
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You guys rlly don't realise how much knowledge is still not committed to the internet. I find books all the time with stuff that is impossible to find through a search engine- most people do not put their magnum opus research online for free and the more niche a skill is the less likely you are to have people who will leak those books online. (Nevermind all the books written prior to the internet that have knowledge that is not considered "relevant" enough to digitise).
Whenever people say that we r growing up with all the world's knowledge at our fingertips...it's not necessarily true. Is the amount of knowledge online potentially infinite? Yes. Is it all knowledge? No. You will be surprised at the niche things you can discover at a local archive or library.
#rambles#if you are a person who is into delicate skills#like lacemaking or printing or sewing#you will know fair well just how non expansive the knowledge online is in comparison to written guides from like the 50s#there was a time where at least one person in the household had to know a constructive skill#but in the modern day there is just less ans less demands for comprehensive guides#library propaganda#im stuck doing an essay rn but bc i have covid i cant go to the library and its totally fucked me#i want to source a lot of the stuff i read irl but i just cant go and get it and theres no online ver
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𝖠𝗋𝗍 𝖻𝗒 𝖠𝗇𝗇𝖺-𝖫𝖺𝗎𝗋𝖺 𝖲𝗎𝗅𝗅𝗂𝗏𝖺𝗇 | 𝖨𝖦: 𝖺𝗇𝗇𝖺𝗅𝖺𝗎𝗋𝖺_𝖺𝗋𝗍
#this has to be one of my favorite little comic ever cus YEEEES#I love me a good rain lighting thunder trio <3#ESP while laying in bed with a good book#had to share#cottagecore#comics#art#cute#drawing#rain aesthetic#cozycore#cosycore#reading#comfycore#wholesome#we had MASSIVE rain here today and some lovely lightning & thunder . so this was basically my just switch night to say and bed to couch
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there should be more hours between 6 and 10pm. like even just two more hours. for my assorted hobbies & activities
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17/12/23 this masterlist has been completely, vetted, revamped and reformatted with free access to all reading and viewing material. It will be updated and edited periodically so please try and reblog the original post if you're able.
The Big Damn List Of Stuff They Said You Didn't Know
(Yes, it's a lot. Just choose your preferred medium and then pick one.)
Podcasts
Backgrounders and Quick Facts
Interactive Maps
Teach-Out Resources
Reading Material (free)
Films and Documentaries (free)
Non-Governmental Organizations
Social Media
How You Can Help
Podcasts
Cocktails & Capitalism: The Story of Palestine Part 1, Part 3
It Could Happen Here: The Cheapest Land is Bought with Blood, Part 2, The Balfour Declaration
Citations Needed: Media narratives and consent manufacturing around Israel-Palestine and the Gaza Siege
The Deprogram: Free Palestine, ft. decolonizatepalestine.com.
Backgrounders and Quick Facts
The Palestine Academy: Palestine 101
Institute for Middle East Understanding: Explainers and Quick Facts
Interactive Maps
Visualizing Palestine
Teach-Out Resources
1) Cambridge UCU and Pal Society
Palestine 101
Intro to Palestine Film + Art + Literature
Resources for Organising and Facilitating)
2) The Jadaliya YouTube Channel of the Arab Studies Institute
Gaza in Context Teach-in series
War on Palestine podcast
Updates and Discussions of news with co-editors Noura Erakat and Mouin Rabbani.
3) The Palestine Directory
History (virtual tours, digital archives, The Palestine Oral History Project, Documenting Palestine, Queering Palestine)
Cultural History (Palestine Open Maps, Overdue Books Zine, Palestine Poster Project)
Contemporary Voices in the Arts
Get Involved: NGOs and campaigns to help and support.
3) PalQuest Interactive Encyclopedia of the Palestine Question.
4) The Palestine Remix by Al Jazeera
Books and Articles
Free reading material
My Gdrive of Palestine/Decolonization Literature (nearly all the books recommended below + books from other recommended lists)
Five free eBooks by Verso
Three Free eBooks on Palestine by Haymarket
LGBT Activist Scott Long's Google Drive of Palestine Freedom Struggle Resources
Recommended Reading List
Academic Books
Edward Said (1979) The Question of Palestine, Random House
Ilan Pappé (2002)(ed) The Israel/Palestine Question, Routledge
Ilan Pappé (2006) The Ethnic Cleansing of Palestine, OneWorld Publications
Ilan Pappé (2011) The Forgotten Palestinians: A History of the Palestinians in Israel, Yale University Press
Ilan Pappé (2015) The Idea of Israel: A History of Power and Knowledge, Verso Books
Ilan Pappé (2017) The Biggest Prison On Earth: A History Of The Occupied Territories, OneWorld Publications
Ilan Pappé (2022) A History of Modern Palestine, Cambridge University Press
Rosemary Sayigh (2007) The Palestinians: From Peasants to Revolutionaries, Bloomsbury
Andrew Ross (2019) Stone Men: the Palestinians who Built Israel, Verso Books
Rashid Khalidi (2020) The Hundred Years’ War on Palestine: A History of Settler Colonialism and Resistance 1917–2017
Ariella Azoulay (2011) From Palestine to Israel: A Photographic Record of Destruction and State Formation, 1947-1950, Pluto Press
Ariella Azoulay and Adi Ophir (2012) The One-State Condition: Occupation and Democracy in Israel/Palestine, Stanford University Press.
Jeff Halper (2010) An Israeli in Palestine: Resisting Dispossession, Redeeming Israel, Pluto Press
Jeff Halper (2015) War Against the People: Israel, the Palestinians and Global Pacification
Jeff Halper (2021) Decolonizing Israel, Liberating Palestine: Zionism, Settler Colonialism, and the Case for One Democratic State, Pluto Press
Anthony Loewenstein (2023) The Palestine Laboratory: How Israel exports the Technology of Occupation around the World
Noura Erakat (2019) Justice for Some: Law and the Question of Palestine, Stanford University Press
Neve Gordon (2008) Israel’s Occupation, University of California Press
Joseph Massad (2006) The Persistence of the Palestinian Question: Essays on Zionism and the Palestinians, Routledge
Memoirs
Edward Said (1986) After the Last Sky: Palestine Lives, Columbia University PEdward Saidress
Edward Said (2000) Out of Place; A Memoir, First Vintage Books
Mourid Barghouti (2005) I saw Ramallah, Bloomsbury
Hatim Kanaaneh (2008) A Doctor in Galilee: The Life and Struggle of a Palestinian in Israel, Pluto Press
Raja Shehadeh (2008) Palestinian Walks: Into a Vanishing Landscape, Profile Books
Ghada Karmi (2009) In Search of Fatima: A Palestinian Story, Verso Books
Vittorio Arrigoni (2010) Gaza Stay Human, Kube Publishing
Ramzy Baroud (2010) My Father Was a Freedom Fighter: Gaza's Untold Story, Pluto Press
Izzeldin Abuelaish (2011) I Shall Not Hate: A Gaza Doctor’s Journey on the Road to Peace and Human Dignity, Bloomsbury
Atef Abu Saif (2015) The Drone Eats with Me: A Gaza Diary, Beacon Press
Anthologies
Voices from Gaza - Insaniyyat (The Society of Palestinian Anthropologists)
Letters From Gaza • Protean Magazine
Salma Khadra Jayyusi (1992) Anthology of Modern Palestinian Literature, Columbia University Press
ASHTAR Theatre (2010) The Gaza Monologues
Refaat Alreer (ed) (2014) Gaza Writes Back, Just World Books
Refaat Alreer, Laila El-Haddad (eds) (2015) Gaza Unsilenced, Just World Books
Cate Malek and Mateo Hoke (eds)(2015) Palestine Speaks: Narrative of Life under Occupation, Verso Books
Jehad Abusalim, Jennifer Bing (eds) (2022) Light in Gaza: Writings Born of Fire, Haymarket Books
Short Story Collections
Ghassan Kanafani, Hilary Kilpatrick (trans) (1968) Men in the Sun and Other Palestinian Stories, Lynne Rienner Publishers
Ghassan Kanafani, Barbara Harlow, Karen E. Riley (trans) (2000) Palestine’s Children: Returning to Haifa and Other Stories, Lynne Rienner Publishers
Atef Abu Saif (2014) The Book of Gaza: A City in Short Fiction, Comma Press
Samira Azzam, Ranya Abdelrahman (trans) (2022) Out Of Time: The Collected Short Stories of Samira Azzam
Sonia Sulaiman (2023) Muneera and the Moon; Stories Inspired by Palestinian Folklore
Essay Collections
Edward W. Said (2000) Reflections on Exile and Other Essays, Harvard University Press
Salim Tamari (2008) Mountain against the Sea: Essays on Palestinian Society and Culture, University of California Press
Fatma Kassem (2011) Palestinian Women: Narratives, histories and gendered memory, Bloombsbury
Ramzy Baroud (2019) These Chains Will Be Broken: Palestinian Stories of Struggle and Defiance in Israeli Prisons, Clarity Press
Novels
Sahar Khalifeh (1976) Wild Thorns, Saqi Books
Liyana Badr (1993) A Balcony over the Fakihani, Interlink Books
Hala Alyan (2017) Salt Houses, Harper Books
Susan Abulhawa (2011) Mornings in Jenin, Bloomsbury
Susan Abulhawa (2020) Against the Loveless World, Bloomsbury
Graphic novels
Joe Sacco (2001) Palestine
Joe Sacco (2010) Footnotes in Gaza
Naji al-Ali (2009) A Child in Palestine, Verso Books
Mohammad Sabaaneh (2021) Power Born of Dreams: My Story is Palestine, Street Noise Book*
Poetry
Fady Joudah (2008) The Earth in the Attic, Sheridan Books,
Ghassan Zaqtan, Fady Joudah (trans) (2012) Like a Straw Bird It Follows Me and Other Poems, Yale University Press
Hala Alyan (2013) Atrium: Poems, Three Rooms Press*
Mohammed El-Kurd (2021) Rifqa, Haymarket Books
Mosab Abu Toha (2022) Things You May Find Hidden in My Ear: Poems from Gaza, City Lights Publishers
Tawfiq Zayyad (2023) We Are Here to Stay, Smokestack Books*
The Works of Mahmoud Darwish
Poems
Rafeef Ziadah (2011) We Teach Life, Sir
Nasser Rabah (2022) In the Endless War
Refaat Alareer (2011) If I Must Die
Hiba Abu Nada (2023) I Grant You Refuge/ Not Just Passing
[All books except the ones starred are available in my gdrive. I'm adding more each day. But please try and buy whatever you're able or borrow from the library. Most should be available in the discounted Free Palestine Reading List by Pluto Press, Verso and Haymarket Books.]
Human Rights Reports & Documents
Information on current International Court of Justice case on ‘Legal Consequences arising from the Policies and Practices of Israel in the Occupied Palestinian Territory, including East Jerusalem’
UN Commission of Inquiry Report 2022
UN Special Rapporteur Report on Apartheid 2022
Amnesty International Report on Apartheid 2022
Human Rights Watch Report on Apartheid 2021
Report of the United Nations Fact-Finding Mission on the Gaza Conflict’ 2009 (‘The Goldstone Report’)
Advisory Opinion on the Legal Consequences of the Construction of a Wall in the Occupied Palestinian Territory, International Court of Justice, 9 July 2004
Films
Documentaries
Jenin, Jenin (2003) dir. Mohammed Bakri
Massacre (2005) dir. Monica Borgmann, Lokman Slim, Hermann Theissen
Slingshot HipHop (2008) dir. Jackie Reem Salloum
Waltz with Bashir (2008) dir. Ari Folman † (also on Amazon Prime)
Tears of Gaza (2010) dir. Vibeke Løkkeberg (also on Amazon Prime)
5 Broken Cameras (2011) dir. Emad Burnat (also on Amazon Prime)
The Gatekeepers (2012) dir. Dror Moreh (also on Amazon Prime)
The Great Book Robbery (2012) | Al Jazeera English
Al Nakba (2013) | Al Jazeera (5-episode docu-series)
The Village Under the Forest (2013) dir. Mark J. Kaplan
Where Should The Birds Fly (2013) dir. Fida Qishta
Naila and the Uprising (2017) (also on Amazon Prime)
GAZA (2019) dir. Andrew McConnell and Garry Keane
Gaza Fights For Freedom (2019) dir. Abby Martin
Little Palestine: Diary Of A Siege (2021) dir. Abdallah Al Khatib
Palestine 1920: The Other Side of the Palestinian Story (2021) | Al Jazeera World Documentary
Gaza Fights Back (2021) | MintPress News Original Documentary | dir. Dan Cohen
Innocence (2022) dir. Guy Davidi
Short Films
Fatenah (2009) dir. Ahmad Habash
Gaza-London (2009) dir. Dina Hamdan
Condom Lead (2013) dir. Tarzan Nasser, Arab Nasser
OBAIDA (2019) | Defence for Children Palestine
Theatrical Films
Divine Intervention (2002) | dir. Elia Suleiman (also on Netflix)
Paradise Now (2005) dir Hany Abu-Assad (also on Amazon Prime)
Lemon Tree (2008) (choose auto translate for English subs) (also on Amazon Prime)
It Must Be Heaven (2009) | dir. Elia Suleiman †
The Promise (2010) mini-series dir. Peter Kosminsky (Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4)
Habibi (2011)* dir. Susan Youssef
Omar (2013)* dir. Hany Abu-Assad †
3000 Nights (2015)* dir. Mai Masri
Foxtrot (2017) dir. Samuel Maoz (also on Amazon Prime)
The Time that Remains (2019) dir. Elia Suleiman †
Gaza Mon Amour (2020) dir. Tarzan Nasser, Arab Nasser †
The Viewing Booth (2020) dir. Ra'anan Alexandrowicz (on Amazon Prime and Apple TV)
Farha (2021)* | dir. Darin J. Sallam
Palestine Film Institute Archive
All links are for free viewing. The ones marked with a star (*) can be found on Netflix, while the ones marked † can be downloaded for free from my Mega account.
If you find Guy Davidi's Innocence anywhere please let me know, I can't find it for streaming or download even to rent or buy.
In 2018, BDS urged Netflix to dump Fauda, a series created by former members of IOF death squads that legitimizes and promotes racist violence and war crimes, to no avail. Please warn others to not give this series any views. BDS has not called for a boycott of Netflix. ]
Planning to link two separate posts here listing all the books in my drive and all the films I couldn't include here. Check back for updates.
NGOs
The Boycott, Divestment, Sanctions (BDS) Movement
Medical Aid for Palestinians
Euro-Mediterranean Human Rights Monitor
Palestine Defence for Children International
Palestinian Feminist Collective
Al-Shabaka: The Palestinian Policy Network
Addameer Prisoner Support and Human Rights Association
Institute for Palestine Studies
Al Haq
Artists for Palestine
The Palestine Museum
Jewish Currents
B’Tselem
DAWN
Social Media
Palestnians on Tumblr
@el-shab-hussein
@killyfromblame
@apollos-olives
@fairuzfan
@palipunk
@sar-soor
@nabulsi
@ibtisams
@wearenotjustnumbers2
@90-ghost (is in Gaza right now. Please donate to his GFM and boost it.)
@tamarrud
Allies and advocates (not Palestinian)
@bloglikeanegyptian beautiful posts that read like op-eds
@vyorei daily news roundups
@luthienne resistance through prose
@decolonize-the-left scoop on the US political plans and impacts
@feluka
(Please don't expect any of these blogs to be completely devoted to Palestine allyship; they do post regularly about it but they're still personal blogs and post whatever else they feel like. Do not harrass them.)
Gaza journalists
Motaz Azaiza IG: @motaz_azaiza | Twitter: @azaizamotaz9 | TikTok: _motaz.azaiza (left Gaza as of Jan 23)
Bisan Owda IG and TikTok: wizard_bisan1 | Twitter: @wizardbisan
Saleh Aljafarawi IG: @saleh_aljafarawi | Twitter: @S_Aljafarawi | TikTok: @saleh_aljafarawi97
Plestia Alaqad IG: @byplestia | TikTok: @plestiaaqad (left Gaza)
Wael Al-Dahdouh IG: @wael_eldahdouh | Twitter: @WaelDahdouh (left Gaza as of Jan 13)
Hind Khoudary IG: @hindkhoudary | Twitter: @Hind_Gaza
Ismail Jood IG and TikTok: @ismail.jood (announced end of coverage on Jan 25)
Yara Eid IG: @eid_yara | Twitter: @yaraeid_
Eye on Palestine IG: @eye.on.palestine | Twitter: @EyeonPalestine | TikTok: @eyes.on.palestine
Muhammad Shehada Twitter: @muhammadshehad2
(Edit: even though some journos have evacuated, the footage up to the end of their reporting is up on their social media, and they're also doing urgent fundraisers to get their families and friends to safety. Please donate or share their posts.)
News organisations
The Electronic Intifada Twitter: @intifada | IG: @electronicintifada
Quds News Network Twitter and Telegram: @QudsNen | IG: @qudsn (Arabic)
Times of Gaza IG: @timesofgaza | Twitter: @Timesofgaza | Telegram: @TIMESOFGAZA
The Palestine Chronicle Twitter: @PalestineChron | IG: @palestinechron | @palestinechronicle
Al-Jazeera Twitter: @AJEnglish | IG and TikTok: @aljazeeraenglish, @ajplus
Middle East Eye IG and TikTok: @middleeasteye | Twitter: @MiddleEastEye
Democracy Now Twitter and IG: @democracynow TikTok: @democracynow.org
Haaretz* Twitter: @Haaretz | IG: haaretzcom
Mondoweiss IG and TikTok: @mondoweiss | Twitter: @Mondoweiss
The Intercept Twitter and IG: @theintercept
MintPress Twitter: @MintPressNews | IG: mintpress
Novara Media Twitter and IG: @novaramedia
Truthout Twitter and IG: @truthout
[*Please note that Haaretz is an Israeli Liberal Zionist newspaper and heavily propagandized against Palestine. It's included here only as a Zionist critic of the Israeli government and IDF from within Israel.]
Palestnians on Other Social Media
Mouin Rabbani: Middle East analyst specializing in the Arab-Israeli conflict and Palestinian affairs. Twitter: @MouinRabbani
Noura Erakat: Legal scholar, human rights attorney, specialising in Israeli–Palestinian conflict. Twitter: @4noura | IG: @nouraerakat | (http://www.nouraerakat.com/)
Hebh Jamal: Journalist in Germany. IG and Twitter: @hebh_jamal
Ghada Sasa: PhD candidate in International Relations, green colonialism, and Islam in Canada. Twitter: @sasa_ghada | IG: @ghadasasa48
Taleed El Sabawi: Assistant professor of law and researcher in public health. Twitter: @el_sabawi | IG
Lexi Alexander: Filmmaker and activist. Twitter: @LexiAlex | IG: @lexialexander1
Mariam Barghouti: Writer, blogger, researcher, and journalist. Twitter: @MariamBarghouti | IG: @mariambarghouti
Rasha Abdulhadi: Queer poet, author and cultural organizer. Twitter: @rashaabdulhadi
Mohammed el-Kurd: Writer and activist from Jerusalem. IG: @mohammedelkurd | Twitter: @m7mdkurd
Ramy Abdu: Founder and Chairman of the Euro-Mediterranean Human Rights Monitor. Twitter: @RamyAbdu
Subhi: Founder of The Palestine Academy website. IG: @sbeih.jpg |TikTok @iamsbeih | Twitter: @iamsbeih
Allies
Lowkey (Kareem Dennis): Rapper, activist, video and podcast host for MintPress. Twitter: @LowkeyOnline IG: @lowkeyonline
Francesca Albanese: UN Special Rapporteur on the Occupied Territories. Twitter: @FranceskAlbs
Sana Saeed: Journalist and media critic, host and senior producer at Al-Jazeera Plus. IG: @sanaface | Twitter: @SanaSaeed
Shailja Patel: Poet, playwright, activist, founding member of Kenyans For Peace, Truth and Justice. Twitter: @shailjapatel
Jairo I. Fúnez-Flores: Researcher in curriculum studies, decolonial theory, social movements. Twitter: @Jairo_I_Funez
Jack Dodson: Journalist and Filmmaker. Twitter: @JackDodson IG: @jdodson4
Imani Barbarin: Writer, public speaker, and disability rights activist. IG: @crutches_and_spice | Twitter: @Imani_Barbarin | TikTok: @crutches_and_spice
Jewish Allies
Katie Halper: US comedian, writer, filmmaker, podcaster, and political commentator. IG and Twitter: @kthalps
Amanda Gelender: Writer. Twitter: @agelender | (https://agelender.medium.com/)
Yoav Litvin: Jerusalem-born Writer and Photographer. IG and Twitter: @nookyelur | (yoavlitvin.com)
Alana Lentin: Professor of Cultural and Social Analysis at Western Sydney University. Twitter: @alanalentin
Gideon Levy: anti-Zionist Israeli journalist and activist. Twitter: @gideonle
How You Can Help Palestine
How to be an Ally 101
URGENT‼️📢: Global Strike Guide
If any links are broken let me know. Or pull up the current post to check whether it's fixed.
"Knowledge is Israel's worst enemy. Awareness is Israel's most hated and feared foe. That's why Israel bombs a university: it wants to kill openness and determination to refuse living under injustice and racism."
— Dr. Refaat Alareer, (martyred Dec 6, 2023)
From River To The Sea Palestine Will Be Free 🇵🇸🇵🇸🇵🇸
-----
Edit 1: took the first video down because turns out the animator is a terf and it links to her blog. Really sorry for any distress.
Edit 2: All recommended readings + Haymarket recommendations + essential decolonization texts have been uploaded to my linked gdrive. I will adding more periodically. Please do buy or check them out from the library if possible, but this post was made for and by poor and gatekept Global South bitches like me.
Some have complained about the memes being disrespectful. You're actually legally obligated to make fun of Israeli propaganda and Zionists. I don't make the rules.
Edit 3: "The river to the sea" does not mean the expulsion of Jews from Palestine. Believing that is genocide apologia.
Edit 4: Gazans have specifically asked us to put every effort into pushing for a ceasefire instead of donations. "Raising humanitarian aid" is a grift Western governments are pushing right now to deflect from the fact that they're sending billions to Israel to keep carpet bombing Gazans. As long as the blockades are still in place there will never be enough aid for two million people. (UPDATE: PLEASE DONATE to the Gazan's GoFundMe fundraisers to help them buy food and get out of Rafah into Egypt. E-SIMs, food and medical supplies are also essential. Please donate to the orgs linked in the How You Can Help. Go on the strikes. DO NOT STOP PROTESTING.)
Edit 5: Google drive link for academic books folder has been fixed. Also have added a ton of resources to all the other folders so please check them out.
Edit 6: Added interactive maps, Jadaliya channel, and masterlists of donation links and protest support and of factsheets.
The twitter accounts I reposted as it was given to me and I just now realized it had too many Israeli voices and almost none of the Palestinians I'm following, so it's being edited. Check back for more. I also removed sources like Jewish Voices of Peace and Breaking the Silence that do good work but have come under fair criticism from Palestinians.
Edit 7: Complete reformatting
Edit 8: Complete revamping of the social media section. It now reflects my own following list.
Edit 9: removed some more problematic people from the allies list. Remember that the 2SS is a grift that's used to normalize violence and occupation, kids. Supporting the one-state solution is lowest possible bar for allyship. It's "Free Palestine" not "Free half of Palestine and hope Israel doesn't go right back to killing them".
Edit 10: added The Palestine Directory + Al Jazeera documentary + Addameer. This "100 links per post" thing sucks.
Edit 11: more documentaries and films
Edit 12: reformatted reading list
Edit 13: had to remove @palipunk's masterlist to add another podcast. It's their pinned post and has more resources Palestinian culture and crafts if you want to check it out
#free palestine#palestine resources#palestine reading list#decolonization#israel palestine conflict#israel palestine war#british empire#american imperialism#apartheid#social justice#middle east history#MENA#arab history#anti zionism#palestinian art#palestinian history#palestinian culture#palestinian genocide#al nakba#ethnic cleansing#war crimes#racism#imperialism#colonialism#british colonialism#knee of huss#ask to tag#Youtube
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I’m so sorry but in the nicest way possible do yall actually read books or just read words??? Cause I’ve been seeing that trend of people not understanding how “snarled” and “eyes darkened” and “eyes softened” etc. was used in a book and like…
Genuinely, do yall just not have imagination?? Or not understand figurative language??? Also eyes do literally darken and soften have you not lived a life??? How do you read with no imagination? Is this how you get through so many books in one month - you simply don’t take the time the understand the words as they are read?
#funny#funny post#booknerd#books and reading#book blog#booklover#booksbooksbooks#booklr#bookworm#booktok#book tumblr#bookish#bookblr#reading#currently reading#books
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